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crazyinlovewithbucky · 9 months

Text

"My Girl"

Pairing: (tfatws)Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Sam took Bucky clubbing one day to ease Bucky's tension and bad temper then Bucky met you and since the moment he laid his eyes on you, he knew that he wanted you to be his girl.

Warnings: flufffffffff, smut, Sam & Bucky being sarcastic, alcohol, alcohol consumption, making out, nudity, dry humping, oral (f receiving), protected/unprotected sex, d in v sex, drunk friend, sergeant kink, Bucky being obsessive, lipstick stains and marks, cum eating, overstimulation, lots of fluff + smut.

This smut was somewhat inspired by the song Girl by The Internet (feat. KAYTRANADA)

AU/N: hey guys, I've been having the worst writer's block and I've been writing this piece for almost 3 months now. My job is taking all of my time and consuming my days that I barely have time to write so this is the reason why this piece might be a little longer (5.9K words) than my previous ones lol. Hope you enjoy it and I'd like to remind you that English isn't my first language so excuse if I misspelled or mispronounced anything.

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It was a somewhat normal Friday evening. Sam and Bucky just finished another successful mission in Europe, and they needed time to relax. Sam knew about that great club in New York and begged Bucky to come and blow off some steam. Eventually, Bucky agreed to drink, spend time with his best friend, and maybe see how people nowadays party. They entered the club and headed to the bar right away before the club owner himself came and greeted them and told them he had a private VIP table for them on the east side of the club. The two Avengers thanked him but wanted to have a few drinks at the bar first.

"Gosh, Steve would've hated this," Bucky shouted due to the loud music, feeling a little uncomfortable as he's not used to loud music, not used to people drinking and dancing around wildly like this, and also not used to crowded places like this. Sam laughed at his comment and gave him a glass of whiskey.

"Believe it or not, buddy. I brought Steve and Nat here a couple of times, and they didn't actually hate it. They were uncomfortable at first, yes. But after a few drinks, I kid you not, Steve almost went home with three blondies who promised to show him "how grateful they are for him saving the world" until Nat and I had to actually grab him by his shirt and drag him out of there." Sam chuckled while telling the story, and Bucky almost spat his drink out of his nose, laughing.

"Yeah Yeah. That does sound like Steve." Bucky kept chuckling as he swallowed the rest of his drink. He put the empty glass on the bar and asked the bartender for a refill. His eyes roamed the place, looking at the people on the dance floor, then his eyes landed on you.

You were dancing your heart out and wearing that new short, tight black dress that had no sleeves, feeling kind of tipsy from the three or four drinks you had. Your hair is all messed up from the heat of dancing, which made some of your baby hair stick to your forehead due to sweat. Bucky couldn't keep his eyes off of you; he didn't know why, but for him, you were so attractive, with that tight short dress hugging all of your curves perfectly, your hips and body swaying to the music, and your shiny, beautiful hair swaying and moving with your body too.

He kept staring at you, lost in your beauty until he felt a rough hand hitting his shoulder. "See something you like, Barnes?" Sam raised an eyebrow at him, following Bucky's intense gaze at you. "Go dance with her," Sam chuckled, pointing at you with his glass.

"No fucking way, Sam. I don't dance." Bucky took a deep breath and swallowed the refilled glass in just one sip. He put the glass again on the bar table and motioned for the bartender to refill it again. Somehow all that built-up and buried sexual energy in him started to resurface as he got reminded that the last time he had any sexual interaction with a woman was in the 1940s. He really needed to take it out of his system and ease that sexual tension inside of him. He knew that he had to do that one day or another. Hell, Sam even knew and noticed that too, as Bucky's anger issues and frustrations were getting out of hand and Sam had enough of this attitude. He thought that maybe with a few drinks and a nice night out, Bucky might be less tense. But when a pretty lady gets Bucky's attention and he starts to act all frustrated again, it all clicks for Sam now, as the reason behind Bucky's frustration is just built-up sexual energy. Poor Bucky hasn't gotten laid since the 40s; he must feel like a virgin now, Sam thought.

Bucky kept staring at you and the way your body moved to the music until he saw you moving toward him with one of your friends. You were headed towards the bar while laughing with your friend, and you moved and stood very close to him and shouted the names of some drinks for the bartender. He could smell you. You were sweaty as hell, but for him, you smelt so nice and sugary; your body and hair smelt like a mix of coconut and jasmine, and he loved it so much that his body stiffened and he stood straight, trying his hardest not to look at you and the way you kept scratching your scalp and flipping your hair from the heat you felt from dancing. You took out a scrunchie from your purse and tied your hair up in a messy ponytail, and he almost fell on his knees as he saw drops of sweat running down your neck. You were so hot and beautiful, he thought he'd lose his mind.

Sam was standing on the opposite side of Bucky and you, watching Bucky's reactions with a smirk. "Hey ladies, can we buy you some drinks?" Sam said this to you and your friend, startling you both out of your conversation. Your friend looked at him and Bucky and gasped loudly.

"Oh my god! You're the Avengers!" Your friend screamed, which made you get confused, and you looked carefully at Sam, then turned your head and found very hungry blue eyes looking back at you. Your mouth opened a little at the sight before you. You thought that this was literally the most beautiful and handsome man you'd ever seen in your whole life. You both kept holding that intense eye contact; you didn't realize you were so close to each other until your friend pushed your shoulder to grab your attention, and you almost fell on him. Bucky was quick, and he held you by your waist and helped you stand up straight, never breaking eye contact.

"Are you okay?" He said that as your heart kept beating so hard and loud, you were very nervous, as you had never had that much tension with anyone before—even your friend and Sam sensed it. You nodded your head at Bucky while smiling nervously, then tried to breathe normally as you felt like you were choking out of air. You also felt that strange sensation of tingling between your legs. You couldn't help it; as per lots of previous experiences, you were well aware that alcohol makes you horny. But alcohol plus the hottest man you've ever seen—that was too much for you, and you felt out of breath.

"Y-You don't need to buy us any drinks, we were actually getting those last drinks and leaving afterward," you said nervously to Sam as you held your friend's arm. You smiled with a nod at the bartender when she put the two drinks you ordered in front of you and your friend.

"What? Noooooo, Y/N, I wanna stay," your drunk friend whined. "You can do whatever you want to me, Mr. Falcon." Your friend flirted with Sam and touched his hand and squeezed it while winking at him, which made Sam blush and smirk at her.

"Oh, I think you had enough drinks already." You cringed at your friend, squeezed her shoulders, and pulled her away slowly to leave.

"At least, let us drive you home." Bucky's voice behind you said that, and your breath hitched. You were trying your hardest not to interact with this man because, you swear, you were so close to jumping on him and doing very unholy things to him.

"Y-You don't have to." Your voice was shaky, and you tried to keep your friend steady.

"But we want to. Please." He touched your arm softly, and you got goosebumps all over, feeling hotter, and that tingling feeling between your legs was more unbearable.

"Okay," that's all that you managed to say, as there's nothing on your mind now except for the various positions and ways he could fuck you with. Yes, you were that horny.

Sam got his wallet out and paid for his, Bucky's, and your drinks. You kept holding your friend, afraid she might trip and fall. Meanwhile, Bucky was walking beside you, guiding you to the main exit and shielding you from the crowd. He was very gentle and kind to you, and you just couldn't stop looking at his strong, veiny hands and imagining them wrapped around your neck.

By the time you got outside the club, Bucky had guided you and your almost knocked-out friend to the parking lot, where Sam was already waiting there next to the black SUV. Normally, you wouldn't ever consider going out or taking a ride with strange men you just met at the bar. This is a never-in-a-million-years action from you. But your cautious side left the room when you acknowledged that these are the actual Avengers and they couldn't ever hurt you. And if they did, you're going to make a hundred percent sure to sue their asses afterward. You smiled at yourself at that thought, and that caught Bucky's attention.

"What are you smiling at?" Bucky said to you as he smiled too. Your smile dropped immediately as he caught you off guard, and you felt so embarrassed. Of course, you're not going to tell him you were just thinking about suing him if he did something to you, and that made you smile. What the hell are you? A psycho?

"Ummm, nothing." You smiled awkwardly. "I am just a little drunk." And you awkwardly laughed. 'Gosh, can this get any weirder?' You thought to yourself.

"Are you okay?" He said this in a concerned tone while opening the doors of the backseat in the car and guiding you and your friend in. You nodded at him with a smile, sat your friend carefully in the backseat, and seated yourself next to her. Bucky got in the passenger seat while Sam started driving and pulling out of the parking spot.

"So, do you ladies have a place, or are we going to drive all night?" Sam said this in a sarcastic tone while opening the Google Maps app on his phone. He gave the phone to Bucky to start typing your addresses in the search bar.

You laughed at Sam's question. "Yeah, but Y/F/N lives closer, so can we drop her off first, Mr. Falcon? Shit. Sorry. I mean Sam." You cringed at yourself for calling Sam Mr. Falcon like your friend did. You don't know if it's because you feel awkward, or the tension between you and Bucky, or the four drinks you had earlier.

Sam and Bucky laughed softly at Sam's new nickname, and that made you feel more awkward, and that made you laugh nervously. Bucky noticed that and said, "That's okay. I call him sometimes "Daddy Falcon," just like those girls on Twitter, just to tease him."

"Hey man, what the hell? You promised you would not say that again. Why are you telling her, you freaky cyborg?" You laughed so hard at the way they speak to each other and their weird nicknames for each other.

"Wait, What? Cyborg? Is that your actual nickname?" You laughed at Bucky while your friend was napping silently with her head on your lap.

"No, actually Bucky is my nickname," he overstressed the word 'Bucky' while looking at Sam, giving him a death glare, which made you giggle more. "But Sam just loves giving me a hard time."

"What? Man, who's giving who a hard time with that "Daddy Falcon" bullshit? I ain't nobody's daddy." Sam said while focusing on the road. You can't stop giggling at this point.

"Whatever, Sam. I'm sorry, okay? Truce?" Bucky said to Sam, smiling and looking at you from time to time through the rearview mirror.

"Fine," Sam said while still looking at the road ahead and rolling his eyes at Bucky.

"Shit, can I put the location on the map? because I think we're close to her apartment." You snapped out of your laughter and motioned with your hand for Bucky to give you the phone and type in the location. Bucky handed you the phone, and you started typing in your friend's apartment location, which was only five minutes away from your current location. You handed the phone back to Bucky, and he started directing Sam to the location. *

You made sure your friend was comfortable and sleeping well in her bed after you took her shoes off, tucked her under the blanket, turned off the light, and left. Buck and Sam were waiting for you downstairs outside the car. You walked toward them and smiled, saying, "I'm so sorry guys, we've been such a huge burden on you tonight. I really appreciate your help and kindness. Thank you."

They both smiled at you, saying stuff like "Don't mention it", "It's okay," and "We're happy to help." The three of you went into the car again, and Sam started driving to your house. The distance from your friend's apartment to yours was around fifteen minutes, so you started chatting with them and getting to know them better. You learned that they were staying here at the Avengers Tower and that Sam is not from around here usually, but Bucky is from Brooklyn. He kept telling you about his life back then, in the forties, and how he was adjusting to this new world. You and Sam joked a bit about Bucky's age, but he didn't mind it. He actually laughed at some of your jokes.

You were startled by the voice of the GPS lady saying, "You've arrived at your destination," and you felt upset for leaving them too soon. You exchanged numbers with Bucky and Sam and promised them to hang out with them soon and have brunch.

Out of politeness, you invited them over to your apartment for some coffee, and Sam agreed right away, while Bucky was just thinking about it. You were kind of surprised by his immediate agreement, which made you question if they had other intentions towards you. But you brushed these thoughts away when you saw that kind, loving, and gentle look in Bucky's eyes when he looked at you.

As soon as you got out of the car and were guiding them to your building's entrance door, Sam stopped in his tracks and exclaimed loudly, "Oh shit man, I forgot." You and Bucky stopped and looked at him, worried.

"I promised Sarah I'd call her tonight, and I completely forgot. Man, I hate when this happens. She must be worried, thinking something happened to me or else. I've got to go. Sorry, Y/N. It was very nice to meet you. We'll catch up soon, okay?" He gave you a small hug and pulled away. “Sorry, Buck, I've got to head home. You have Uber on your phone, right? Remember, I taught you how to use it." He smirked and winked at Bucky, who was, by the way, giving him the most deadly glare ever as he connected the dots and figured out Sam's plan to leave you and him alone. "You finish that cup of coffee first. I think you need to sober up a little." He gave Bucky a small hug too and whispered something in his ear that you couldn't hear, even though you tried eavesdropping. "Again, Y/N, very nice to meet you. See you later. Bye." He sprinted to his car, went in, and started to drive off.

"Okay, so I think it's just the two of us then." You smiled at Bucky and turned your head away from him to open the building's door with your keys. You guided him inside and went to your apartment, which was on the third floor. You opened the door to your apartment, invited him in, and apologized for the mess, which was not so messy, but you just felt awkward. Especially in the presence of him and the fact that both of you were finally alone in the privacy of your own house, which made the very unholy thoughts about him grow wilder.

You both took off your jackets and sat on the couch. You excused yourself to go make the coffee, but as soon as you stepped into the kitchen, you forgot that you ran out of coffee this morning and that you were supposed to go buy some the next morning. You cursed at yourself and felt so embarrassed. You went back into the living room and found him texting on his phone. Little did you know that he was texting Sam "very uncool" for what Sam did and for that lame excuse to leave you both alone.

When he noticed you were in the living room with empty hands and pouting lips, he asked if everything was okay. "I forgot I ran out of coffee this morning; I'm sorry." You pouted your lips and dropped your shoulders. He smiled at how cute you looked right now. "I have tea if you like." You smiled at him, and his gaze turned so softly toward you.

"Tea would be great. Thanks." He said it, smiling. You hopped on your feet, turned, and went to the kitchen, making tea for you and him. After six or seven minutes, you returned with two hot mugs of tea. You handed him his mug and sat next to him on the couch.

You started chatting and talking about everything and anything. Despite all the talking and chatting, without your awareness, you both started to get closer to each other. It was like your bodies were magnets for each other. The tension thickens, and both of you can't help but stare at each other's lips while talking, drinking tea, or doing anything else. You noticed that he licks his lips before saying anything, and he noticed how you bite your lips when you're concentrating on what he's saying or when you're staring at his lips.

After an hour or so of talking, you noticed that you were so close to him now that you could feel his hot breath on your face and how he was controlling all your senses now, with his hands touching your leg, his musky and minty scent surrounding you, and his blue eyes gazing softly at you. You were snapped back to reality when you became aware that you both hadn't said anything for the past ten minutes, and you even forgot who stopped talking first or who said the last word. You were just staring and looking at each other with very hungry eyes for one another.

"Can I kiss you?" He whispered while looking at your lips with his lustful blue eyes. Your heart skipped a beat at what he said as you became too excited and became more aware of the wetness growing between your legs.

You nodded as you tried your hardest to hide your grin. "Words, Honey. I need to hear you." He said this while looking at your eyes, then moving his gaze to your lips again as he moved his hand up and held your chin up while moving his thumb on your lip, pulling the bottom lip down and freeing it from between your teeth. You didn't notice; you were biting your lips the whole time.

"Yes, please." You whispered, but it came out more as a whine. He smashed his lips against yours. Kissing you passionately and hungrily. He poked and licked your lips with his tongue, asking for permission, which you happily granted him, and you opened your mouth to him so he could devour you more with his kisses and tongue.

You were so lost in the moment and in him, and you kept tugging and pulling his shirt, asking and wanting more. He pushed you down on the couch with his body and laid on top of you, making out with you fiercely. Needing you more than you need him. You started lazily pulling his shirt up while bending and lifting your legs and wrapping them around his waist. You felt his erection poking and rubbing your inner thighs, which made you moan into his mouth.

He pulled away and started taking his shirt off while you were lifting your short dress up to your hips and waist, exposing your black lace underpants. Suddenly, you felt like you were rushing into things, and the situation between you two escalated too quickly. You don't want him to have the wrong idea of you, just as you don't want this to be a one-night stand. You want more. You want him to be yours.

"I-I just want to say that I don't do this at all." You said this while panting from the heat of it all and from that passionate make-out you just had.

"Do what?" He frowned and was confused. He thought you were backing out, and he was just embarrassing himself by taking his shirt off, thinking there could be more to this.

"I don't take guys I meet in the club home and sleep with them; I don't do one-night stands." You helped yourself sit up with your elbows while he was sitting and straddling you.

"I don't do one-night stands either." He smiled at you and cupped your cheeks as he kept moving his thumb on your lips. "I just can't help myself around you and can't help how my body reacts to you. I never had this feeling or attraction to anyone before." He pushed you down and started kissing your exposed neck. "Fuck, you're so beautiful. I've never seen such a beauty like yours before." He looked into your eyes while grinding his hardened length into your clothed core. You moaned slightly, which was an opportunity for him to bury his tongue in your mouth again.

"Can you be mine for tonight?" He groaned against your mouth while still grinding into you. "Can you be my girl for tonight?" He started leaving wet and sloppy kisses on your neck and collarbone, moving down to your chest.

"Yes, please, Bucky. I'm your girl." You moaned and wrapped your legs around his waist again while your hands kept rubbing and playing with his hair.

You noticed the scars on his left shoulder near his metal arm, and you suddenly remembered who he really is and his dark past. You wanted to reassure him, so you started kissing the scars on his shoulder and paying more attention to them. "You are perfect, Bucky. So perfect, I could just eat you." You said this to him while grinning and tucking your bottom lip in between your teeth. You could clearly see his gaze soften and his cheeks turn bright red as he chuckled shyly.

"Look who's talking." He smiled and started kissing you passionately again. "Can we take this to the bedroom, plum?" He kissed your cheek and kept moving down, kissing your neck and collarbone.

"I was about to tell you that. The condoms are in the bedroom, anyway." You said that out of breath. You felt his arms wrapping around you and hugging you tight to his chest as he pulled you up in his arms and held you tight as he stood up, and you directed him to your bedroom while filling his neck with kisses and noticed the red marks of your ruined lipstick on him. You took a look at his face and found his mouth all smeared with red lipstick. You smiled at that sight. "This shade looks very flattering on you, Sergeant Barnes." You giggled and swiped your thumb on his lips while cupping his cheek in your palm as he was smiling like an idiot at you.

He turned on the light in your bedroom and threw you gently on the bed. He threw himself on you after taking off his dark pants, while you removed your ruined dress and threw it on the floor, leaving the two of you bare-chested. You kept making out more with him while he kept grinding his length on your clothed cunt and moaning in each other's mouths. "Can I?" he panted as he hooked his fingers on the elastic band of your underpants, asking for permission to take them off.

"Yes, please." You breathed out and lifted your hips off the bed, making it easier for him to take them off. He removed it gently and threw it across the room. He placed both of his hands on your knees and opened your legs widely. He gasped a little at the picture in front of him—your soaking wet cunt bared to him as you're fully naked underneath him with your perfect-rounded breasts moving up and down because of your panting and your perked nipples being so tempting for him to just suckle on them all night long. His mouth was open, and his eyes were full of nothing but hunger and lust as if he were eating your body with his gaze.

"Fuck, you're perfect." His hands slipped so nicely and easily from your calf up to your hips, and he started circling your sensitive bud with his thumb. "I want you to be my fucking girl forever." He started kissing your body all over. From your hips to your arms to your belly button to your breast, he kept sucking on your nipples for a little bit. All of that while his metal hand never left your cunt, as he kept rubbing it and toying with your sensitive clit with his fingers. "If you let me in, doll, I don't think I'd ever be able to leave." He looked into your eyes while saying that.

Seeing the look on his face and the way his eyes were lost in yours, you got the feeling that it wasn't just some dirty talk and that he actually meant it. "Then don't leave, sergeant. Make me yours." You pulled him in for a long, deep kiss that left you both out of breath. You gasped loudly as you felt his finger enter your hole suddenly and stretch your it.

He pushed another finger in and kept pumping them slowly inside of you, curving and scissoring them and stretching you.

You can't control your need for him and his throbbing cock inside of you, as you can already feel it nudging your inner thigh and feel the wetness caused by the precum. "Sergeant, please, I need you. Stop teasing." You whined and pushed your hips up a little, signaling to him how desperate and needy you are for him.

He chuckled and asked you about the location of the condoms, and you motioned to him their location in the drawer of your bedside table. He lifted his body from on top of you, took off his boxers, and went to the condom drawer. He took some, threw them on the bed next to you, took one in his teeth, unwrapped it, and put it on his cock.

You looked at the four or five extra condoms next to you and looked at him, confused, with an evil grin on your face. "Don't worry, plum. You're my girl now, remember? And tonight, I get to fuck my girl as much as I want. And I really want to keep you impaled on my cock all night long. Is that okay with you, doll?" He was massaging your inner thighs and mirroring your evil grin.

"Yes, sergeant. I'm all yours to fuck." You teased back and opened your legs more, giving him more access. He smirked at you and lined up the head of his cock with your entrance. He started to push in slowly while you wrapped your legs around his hips and pulled him closer, which made him push half of his cock into you. You cried out at the burn and stretch of his cock, which you thought was carved by the gods because of how magnificent and big it is.

He pushed his cock into you until he bottomed out. You felt so full that if he switched the angle, he'd be able to touch your cervix with the head of his cock. He was that deep in your cunt. "You're so tight, doll. So perfect for me. Fuck, I won't last long." He groaned as he started moving and thrusting slowly. You just can't control your moans or cries at that moment, and you don't care. His name was falling out of your mouth like a prayer as he picked up the pace and started to thrust faster and deeper.

He lifted your legs up and placed them on his shoulders. This new position made him go even deeper, and as you thought, his cock is hitting your cervix and that deep spot in you that makes you scream like a woman possessed. He hugged your legs with his left arm, and the other one was pressed against your lower stomach while his thumb was moving in circles on your swollen clit. You were so close, and your throat started to itch and soar from your uncontrollable screams and cries. You've never been fucked that good, you thought to yourself. He was hitting all the right spots, moving at the perfect pace, and just being irresistible enough to make you fall in love with him. He stole your breath away from that first glance at the bar, but now? Now he was fucking you like he knew you, your spots, and what you wanted and liked. It's like you were made for each other.

Your orgasm crashed into you suddenly, and by then you were just a whimpering mess. Bucky didn't stop and kept fucking you through your orgasm, making it last longer and focusing on pleasuring you more. You were clenching around his cock like crazy, and he kept moaning and whimpering like a teenage boy losing his virginity for the first time. He snapped and emptied his load inside of you as his thrusts got sloppier. "Fuck, doll, I think the condom broke." He noticed that when he looked at where your bodies were connected and saw that big cut on the head of the condom. He chuckled softly and looked at you.

You pulled your legs down from their positions on his shoulder and lifted yourself up on your elbows to see how it broke. "What the hell? How did that happen?" You were panting, then you looked at him and chuckled at that dumb accident.

"I don't know. Maybe because of how hard and fast I was going and with your cunt choking my cock like a vase, I'd say I'm surprised it snapped like this instead of being taken off by the pressure." He giggled, moved his head down, and kissed you. "But don't worry doll. I got you." He pulled himself out of you and moved down your body until he was face-to-face with your swollen cunt. "I'll make sure you get all cleaned up." He said this before lapping and licking your mixed white liquid. Which didn't help your oversensitivity and made you get overstimulated quickly.

"God, Bucky, I'm going to cum again." You cried out, pulled on his hair, and pushed your hips up a bit, almost riding his face. He hummed and groaned while sucking your clit and shaking his head. That made you fall off the edge quicker and you came and gushed all over his face.

He didn't stop until he cleaned you up of everything, and you kept twitching and shaking from the overstimulation, but it felt too good to tell him to stop. After he fulfilled his promise and got you all cleaned up with his tongue, he pulled away and threw himself on the bed next to you after taking you in his arms first and hugging you closely. You lifted your leg over his and hugged him back. You both kept cuddling for a while in your bed, trying to catch your breath while looking at each other and smiling like stupid kids.

"Thank you." He said it softly and kissed your forehead. while stroking your arm gently.

"For what?" You smiled in confusion and looked deeply into his hazy blue eyes.

"I'll tell you later, but now my girl needs to rest for a while because I'm not done with her yet." He tickled you, and you both were laughing and enjoying each other's presence so much that you didn't want to leave each other for one second, and your hands couldn't get off one another.

Of course, the rest of the night you spent it talking and learning more about each other, and to take a break from all the talking and trauma dumping, you kept fucking like rabbits. You don't know how or when it happened, but you fell deeply in love with him and wanted him to actually be yours.

The next day, you woke up and found him making breakfast in your kitchen. You were so happy to find him discovering things in your kitchen and making food, and you wished silently to wake up every morning to this sight. Later, while you both were eating breakfast, he asked you out on a date and told you how much he liked you, enjoyed your company, and wanted to be your boyfriend. You agreed immediately and kept making out with him for the rest of the day until he had to leave because of an emergency meeting that occurred in the tower. You found it so hard to let him go and kept clinging to him, even when he was getting dressed, but he promised he'd come right back to you once he finished the meeting. You eventually agreed to let him go, and he told you he'd take you out for dinner tonight as your first official date. You gave him one last passionate kiss, and he left.

Later on, and after hundreds of dates and dating for almost a year now, he finally told you what he meant by thanking you after you both hooked up for the first time ever. He explained to you how this was his first time having sex since the forties, how he had that built-up sexual tension and frustration that almost made him lose his mind, and he started to feel insecure because of that, and how it all changed when he slept with you for the first time, and how you made it so easy for him and let him get back to his old self and feel like the old Bucky again, whom he thought was dead since that moment he fell off that train in Europe. Your relationship with Bucky was the best thing that ever happened to the two of you. You both changed each other, helped each other grow, and found out what being in love is actually like. He literally said "I love you" after the third week of being together and during a very hot love-making session, which was the best sex you've ever had in your life. Bucky was the best lover you could've asked for, and you were so grateful for him and for that night out with your friend in that Manhattan club that you were reluctant to go to in the first place. It was fate that brought you together.

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dameronology · 1 year

Text

liar (bucky barnes)

based on the paramore song of the same name lol a.k.a the one where bucky barnes is scared of his own feelings a.k.a jazz is back in her bucky era

warnings; language

enjoy!!

-jazz

Bucky Barnes had never considered himself a liar.

If anything, he had a hard time not telling the truth. It escaped from his mouth before he even had the chance to think about; no, Steve, I think your new hair cut sucks and sorry Sam, she wasn’t actually checking you out, she was waving at the guy behind you. Call it a product of his years as an assassin - because he couldn’t recall being this truthful back in the war - but it was part of who he was now. Sometimes he thought it meant he should come with a warning; something to say don’t pull the pin on this grenade, because he won’t lie to your mum about liking her food. Would that have been the worst Tinder bio ever? Yeah, no doubt.

Bucky had a hard time even lying to himself. That had become clear as soon as you whirl-whinded into his life. That day was still as crystal clear in his head six months later. It had been an early morning at the SHIELD HQ - the F-train had been delayed an hour and he’d come sprinting into a national security meeting, Starbucks in one hand (he was already late, he figured five minutes more for a frappuccino wouldn’t hurt) and a jumbled apology ready to offer. Then, not two seconds later, you’d come sprinting through the door, smacking into the back of him and launching the iced coffee from his hand, into the air, and straight into the lap of the British prime minister.

Bucky was late, but you’d been even later. He liked that about you.

You were a whirl-wind in his life; his best friend from that day forward and the reason he could let go of the breath he’d been holding for so many years. Meetings were never boring with you, nor was the paperwork after long missions or the early starts. Every time he was late, he knew you’d take even longer because maybe his commute from Brooklyn was long but you lived three blocks away from work and managed to sleep through every goddamn alarm you’d set.

It was clear about exactly three seconds after you met that you and Bucky were not destined to just be friends. You knew it and he knew it but neither of you wanted to talk about it. Avoiding the truth wasn’t necessarily lying - Bucky was thankful for that, because he knew that if you asked, everything would come out. He wasn’t ready for that. He wasn’t ready for love.

So, you both left it to rest (and maybe to rot).

“I hate meetings,” you grumbled. It was eight o’clock on a Monday morning and thanks to a national security threat, you once again found yourself in the SHIELD meeting room earlier than you felt to be natural. “Can’t they just put this in an email?”

“Probably,” Bucky replied. “Hi guys, there’s a terrorist threat. If you see something, say something. Lots of love, the security council.”

You snorted. “Did you know I have all of their emails sent straight to my spam?”

“I would do the same but I can’t work out how the Facebook app works,” he muttered. “Why are there so many buttons? What are cookies?”

“Buck, why would you have the security council on Facebook?”

“Isn’t that…” he paused, scratching the back of his head. “Isn’t that where emails go?”

You dropped your head in your hands and let out a groan. “I only just got you used to Twitter. I’ll leave it a few weeks before I overwhelm you with any more social media apps.”

“What about TikTok?”

“I am never letting you download TikTok,” you said.

“Sam said that I should make thirst traps-”

“- please no!” you cut him off. “Never take life advice from Sam.”

Sam was sat across the table from you, a scowl on his face. He was a morning person - hell, the man had already been for a run that morning - but the combination of you and Bucky at any point in the day was enough to drive him up the wall. He glanced between you both, brown eyes calculating for a second, before a grin spread across his face.

“Don’t worry, he doesn’t,” Sam chirped. “Remember last week when I told you to do that thing, Buck?”

Bucky’s eyes widened. “Shut up, Sam.”

“What thing?” you frowned.

“It’s not mine to share,” Sam shrugged. “But based on the last five minutes’ worth of interactions alone? I think it would be best to listen to me-”

“- I swear to god if you don’t stop talking!” Bucky cut him off; then he glanced at you, blue eyes wavering for a second. “Don’t listen to him.”

Sam knew that he was doing; playing devil’s advocate because a) it meant he could piss off Bucky and b) hopefully get two of his best friends to finally get together after months of pining. It had gotten to the point where him and Steve had literal bets on it. Not necessarily on if you would get together, but more on when.

“I’m not, but you’re acting weird,” you said. “Want to share with the class?”

“No,” Bucky firmly said.

“Buck,” you warned; it was clear by your voice that you weren’t fucking around. “I don’t know what immature high school bullshit is going on right now but I don’t appreciate it.”

“I’ll talk to you about it later, okay?” he said.

“You’re an ass,” you replied.

Picking up your bag and coffee, you shuffled over to the other side of the meeting table where Steve was sat. He hadn’t said a word in any of this; you quite often cursed the lack of boundaries amongst the four of you, but you couldn’t fault Steve that morning. He’d kept to himself, simply watching in awe at the chaos that had just unfolded.

You stopped in the seat beside him, glancing over at him. “If you say a word, I’ll hit you.”

“I’m not saying anything,” he held up his hands in defense.

The meeting was quick, thankfully. Even worse, it definitely could have been put in an email. You also couldn’t help but notice the British diplomats watching your coffee carefully every time you moved - that was a joke you could have made to Bucky, had he not managed to get himself into your bad books.

You’d barely been out the board room five minutes before you were practically wrestling him by the ear into a quiet corner. The meeting had been quick, thankfully. It hadn’t felt that way for Bucky, who’d been sat opposite you the entire time, barely avoiding your dagger-y gaze. If looks could kill, his vibranium arm would have had a fair few dents in it.

“So?” you asked. “What was that all about?”

“It’s nothing,” Bucky quickly replied. “I promise-”

“- bullshit!” you cut him off. “Why are you keeping things from me, Buck?”

“I’m not.”

“You are!” you exclaimed. “Look, I don’t even want to know what you and Sam were talking about but at least have the common decency not to keep me out of a conversation that’s about me!”

“Why aren’t you mad at Sam too?!”

“Believe me, I have it out for Sam too but it’s worse when this stuff comes from you!”

Bucky thinned his eyes at you. “Why?”

“You know why.”

He sighed, shifting from one foot to another. Eyes to the ceiling for a second, he took a deep breath.

“Sam told me last week that I should ask you out,” he said. “Said something about how everyone around us can see what we don’t, and that we’re kidding ourselves, and…”

You sniffed, trying to stay composed. It had been a long time coming, there was no denying that. Bucky had been avoiding the conversation because he wasn’t ready but you’d been avoiding it because you were terrified of the answer. Rejection from literally anyone else in the world would have been fine, but from him? There was no metaphor for that pain, or that fear.

“And what?” you asked. “What do you think of that?”

He shrugged. “I think it’s…”

You both waited for a second, the tension in the air almost suffocating.

“...dumb.”

Your eyebrows shot up. “Dumb?!”

“Yeah?” Bucky sounded unsure. “We’re best friends, and-”

“- that’s bullshit!” you snapped. “Buck, I know you can be confusing but…if there’s one thing I am certain of, it’s that we are not just best friends and you know it!”

“Do I?”

You took a step back, sniffing. “Yeah, you’re right. It’s dumb. Forget I said anything.”

“Wait, don’t be like that-”

“- it’s fine, James,” you sniffed. “I’ll see you around.”

“Are we good?”

“Yeah, we’re good.”

(You weren’t good.)

“Okay, I’m glad. Call me later, yeah?”

“Yeah, of course,” you forced a smile.

(You weren’t going to call him.)

–

Five days.

That’s the longest Bucky had gone without talking to you since he’d met you and also the exact amount of time you’d been ignoring him for. He’d given in calling you after three days, and considered coming around your apartment after four, but then he got a last minute call onto a mission where your name was at the top of the call sheet. Fab.

Bucky liked to consider himself a good flier, but it certainly would have been easier to co-pilot a jet with someone who was actually willing to talk to him. It was quite amazing, actually, to see the lengths that you were willing to go to all in pursuit of icing him out.

“This is Barnes to air traffic control on QJ564. We’ll be approaching our destination in about five minutes, currently at 10,000 feet, over.”

“This is ATC to QJ564, you’re cleared for landing in Munich, runway four. Over.”

“This is Barnes to ATC on QJ564. Runway four confirmed, thank you. Could you also tell my co-pilot that I’m sorry and that I miss them? Over.”

“Uh…this is ATC to QJ564. Barnes says he’s sorry and that he misses you. Over.”

“This is Barnes’ co-pilot on QJ564, tell him that I think he’s a cun-”

“- this is Captain Rogers monitoring the channels for suspicious activity from the headquarters. May I remind the pilots aboard QJ564 of the appropriate workplace manners over professional channels? Over.”

After Steve’s voice, the lines went silent. Bucky glanced over at you, eyebrows raised.

“That was rude.”

You continued to ignore him, attention turned to landing the jet safety. It wasn’t hard - Tony Stark had built a jet that practically landed itself, but it was still a good enough excuse to blank out your best friend for the next five minutes. Still, none of that conversation was worth the absolute castigating you were about to receive from Captain America as soon as you were back in New York. He was no fun sometimes.

With the jet safely on the runway, you parked up at the airport and made your way down to the tarmac where the agents were waiting. All you had to do now was await instructions from headquarters on what to do next. That gave you more empty time with Bucky, who was stood next to you. So, you moved away and leant against the wheels of the plane, pulling out your phone to play Doodle Jump.

The call came through eventually, but it was to Bucky’s radio instead of yours.

“Right, agents,” he began, though it was more a sigh than anything. “Coulson is currently ten minutes out on another quinjet to lead the mission. Agent (Name) and I have been removed from this operation for the foreseeable future so that we can sit in the jet, man the communications systems and re-take the online seminar about appropriate workplace language.”

“What?!” you exclaimed. “Nice one, Barnes!”

Bucky forced a smile, trying not to crack up in front of the fifteen junior agents stood in front of you. “Why we have to retake it is a mystery to me.”

“Good luck out there, guys,” you huffed. With that, you spun around and stormed back on board the jet.

Bucky was hot on your heels, closing up the door behind him as he went. He didn’t really know what to say - somehow he’d made you angrier, now - but apolgoising profusely felt like a pretty good place to start.

“So you’re talking to me now?” he asked, following you through the fuselage.

“No!”

“You just did!”

“Fuck off, Bucky!”

“And again!”

“Leave me alone!”

He grabbed your arm, stopping you in your tracks. “I’m sorry, okay?”

“Sorry doesn’t even begin to cut it,” you huffed.

Taking a seat, you curled your legs up in front of you. You didn’t try and swat (or hit) Bucky when he leant down in front of you, which he took as a good sign. It was time to pull out the big guns.

“Can I talk for just…maybe five seconds, possibly ten, without you interrupting?”

You nodded.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you. I never want to hurt you because you’re the last person in the world I’d ever want to upset but I was put on the spot by what Sam said, and then by what you said, and it freaked me out a little,” he began. “You and I both know that he’s right - but never tell him I said that - and honestly, the silence you’ve given me over the last five days made me realise that more than ever.”

You smiled. “What are you saying, Buck?”

“I love you,” he said. It was plain and simple, completely without hesitation and entirely with conviction. “I’ve known that for a while but I just didn’t want to admit it to myself, but like I said…five days without you made me realise I don’t even want to go five seconds without you.”

“That’s how you apologise,” you gave him a watery grin, poking him in the chest.

“So?”

“So what?”

“Anything you want to say to that?”

“Oh, yeah!” you exclaimed. “I love you too.”

Bucky pulled you into a kiss; he held you flush against him, one hand holding the back of your neck, metal one gripping the back of your tac-vest. Despite everything, he was warm and you were certain then that you were never going to let him - if not a little ecstatic that you’d found a new way to shut him up.

You both jumped back when you heard the doors to the jet go, only to turn around and see Phil Coulson on the phone, a glare on his face.

“What is it with you two and inappropriate work place behaviour?”

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damiansgoodgirll · 2 months

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So girl, I’ve seen Beyonce is your favourite singer and she’s my favourite singer so could you please write Reader where she is a huge fan and she’s part of the judgment day and more like Rhea and Damian, she reacts to the album with them and they can’t understand like the hype or something like that because they are not into that genre and like reader has some crazy reaction.

Please it would be so fun! Thank you so my queen 🐝❤️

please, i always imagined what would their reactions be to beyonce or singers they don’t listen to lol, i’m so happy to make this request!

notes : i love rock music and metal too! i just needed to make reader a beyhive and make her hating metal music (please forgive me), also listen to this masterpiece thank you!

damian priest x reader x rhea ripley (PLATONIC)

cowboys

you always loved sharing car rides and hotel rooms with your teammates, especially damian and rhea. they were the first people to ask you to join them in the judgment day, seeing your potential in nxt and being barely twenty one, they wanted to give you a bigger opportunity and so they took you under their protective wing.

finn and dom were nice too, they helped you growing in your skills in the past year and they all took a liking in you but you had a bigger connection with rhea and damian.

they always pushed you, making you reach goals you thought were impossible and you couldn’t thank them enough.

there was one thing you didn’t like about them.

their favourite type of music.

rock. metal. punk. whatever they were listening to. you just couldn’t handle it. there was just one rock song you liked and it was beyoncé’s “don’t hurt yourself” rock song.

so long car rides with them were always a torture. you tried to make conversation most of the time but when it was a 7 hour ride, eventually you would finish topics and so you had to listen to them singing or more - screaming - to their songs.

they usually let you choose one or two songs, but that was it. and everytime you would choose rihanna or beyonce they would take over it.

finn once told you that metal heads only cared about their favourite music. the rest was trash for them. you didn’t believe him at first, thinking he was only overreacting but in this year you realised how right he was.

it’s like they were allergic to beyonce.

but tonight, oh, tonight it was going to be your night.

you were currently in the same hotel room as they were as rhea wanted to share a room with you all. you knew what was coming at midnight and so you asked multiple times to have a separate room from them, you didn’t give them explanations but rhea wasn’t having it.

so, a huge bedroom with two kings sized bed - one for damian and the other one for rhea and you - and a huge tv with all the apps you needed, spotify included was what you got.

the shock came when the track list dropped a day prior, letting you know that there were going to be 27 songs.

they can barely handle one song, how were they going to react to 27 songs?

you still didn’t ask them, as whatever band rhea was playing on spotify - probably motionless in white - were blasting in the room and you were currently fidgeting with your fingers.

the best guess was probably that they would leave you alone for two hours or so. maybe going at the gym or somewhere else. the worst guess was that they probably would laugh at you and telling you no. that would be the worst because you had been waiting for this album since the announcement day and you were already excited at the thought of a new beyonce album.

fifteen minutes to the album drop and you were already imagining yourself leaving the room to go somewhere else to listen to the album.

“guys!” you called for their attention. you were sitting on the bed next to rhea and damian, who were playing some cards game.

“you okay?” rhea asked and you nodded.

“i have something to ask you…”

“go on” rhea’s curios faced looked at you. rhea always liked the way you got shy around them, even if you had been with them for the past year. she kinda knew what you were going to ask, as you had been fangirling about the album with bianca belair for the past two weeks but still, she wanted to hear you asking them. deep down she knew she couldn’t say no to you.

damian, on the other hand, had no idea and he probably was going to have a heart attack at your request.

“so…i have a request…and for once i would like - uhm…i would like that you would consider my feelings” you struggled at first making rhea slightly chuckle.

“did we do something?” damian’s worried expression looked at you.

“no no no, you didn’t do anything to me…uhm…it came out wrong” you said “so, uhm…i don’t know if you know, probably not, but beyoncé’s new album drops in like ten minutes now and - uhm…since we’ve been listening to metal music all day long and i haven’t complained once - i would like to ask you if you could let me listen the album here? like, i know it’s not your type of music but i would really love to listen it here and not going like in the gym or somewhere else…since we have spotify and stuff…” you asked.

rhea was smirking and damian was very much confused.

“that’s it?” rhea asked and you nodded.

“why were you so scared to ask us that?” damian asked you this time.

“i wasn’t scared…”

“yes you were” he pointed out. he kinda felt bad that you had to ask them such a simple thing. yes, he knew beyonce wasn’t his music but he couldn’t see why it was a thing to ask.

“so?” rhea asked “you kinda looked scared”

“it’s not that. it’s just i know it’s not your type of music and you always act dramatic when finn or i ask if we can listen to something else so i thought it was going to be a problem for you”

“we always let you put your songs on” damian said.

“yes, and then you and rhea talk over it”

“oh” he said “i didn’t mean to do that i promise”

“okay…” you smiled “so you really are going to listen beyonce with me?”

“yeah, i mean, i don’t think 13 or 14 songs could hurt us” rhea joked and damian laughed too.

“actually…it’s 27 songs”

“what!?” the both screamed, making you chuckle.

“you still have five minutes to back up because the album is about to drop” you said as you were searching beyonce on spotify.

you observed the way rhea and damian looked at each others. definitely not ready for the outcome. but rhea couldn’t help but notice how excited you were about the album, and how you were happy with it. just a small thing that made you the happiest she ever saw you.

“here we go!” you almost screamed jumping back on the bed, sat between rhea and damian as you were about to press play when you saw the album popping up on her spotify home “are you ready?”

“wait…is it a country album?” damian asked and you nodded.

“you should have gave us a little more of infos about what kind of death we have to die…” rhea added a little dramatic, making you laugh.

“oh shut up! it’s gonna be great!” you said pressing play.

you were in tears after the first minute of ameriican requiem and now damian and rhea thought you were the dramatic one.

it got worse when beyoncé’s cover of jolene started as you always loved that song growing up.

“so she stealing songs?” damian murmured, earning a side look from rhea and punch in his stomach from you “okay i apologise”

the death of you was when daughter started, you knew beyonce was capable of anything but opera? the italian part? you were a crying mess, and even though neither of them were understanding the hype around beyonce, they couldn’t deny she was a great artist.

they were a little shocked when they saw you crying over her songs and they didn’t know what to do. if they should console you or letting you cry in peace.

“oh she’s doing it again!” you screamed when spaghetti started.

“doing what?” rhea whispered never getting a reply back.

you were crying and then you were not.

they felt like they were babysitting a baby.

damian was trying to stay awake just for you and rhea was kinda amused by the reactions you were having to her songs.

ya ya made you start jumping on the bed, tyrant made you feel like you were a porn star and ii hand ii heaven made you cry all over again.

one hour and a half later the album was over and you couldn’t believe the masterpiece beyonce just dropped.

“so?” you asked them, noticing their confused looks “did you like it?”

they knew they couldn’t say no because you looked too happy and they didn’t want to ruin your mood but they couldn’t say yes because - country? - definitely not their genre.

“i gave up after the jolene cover” damian joked, earning another side look from rhea “joking joking…it was interesting”

“rhea?” you turned to her and now she was speechless.

“uhm…yeah, it was an experience” she smiled at you, making you smile too.

you were happy with their reactions so you went all to bed.

two days later

another car ride. another show. another hotel room to be shared with damian and rhea.

you hit the shower first, tired of the trip you just had, you wanted to relax a bit before going to bed.

“your body laid out on these filthy floors

your bloodstains on my custom coutures

bathroom attendant let me right in

she was a big fan”

came from the bedroom. except it wasn’t spotify.

“they keep saying that i ain’t nothing like my father

but i’m the furthest thing from choir boys and altars

if you cross me i’m just like my father

i am colder than titanic water”

you heard damian singing.

he was singing beyonce. the opera song. they really thought you couldn’t hear them so they kept singing or more like, whispering, but you would catch a someone singing a beyonce song even in the loudest crowd.

rhea joining him too was something else.

you really couldn’t believe that but you pretended nothing happened because you knew you would have ruined their egos.

damian and rhea singing beyonce?

no one would believe that.

but you did.

and that was enough for you.

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asimpwithfreetime · 1 year

Note

May I pls request a Yandere! Lo’ak x Metkayina! Reader where she is tsireya sister and lo’ak starts to get feelings for reader

Sounds good, let’s see how I get this done

Only you my girl, only you babe (Yandere! Lo’ak x Tsireya’s sister! Reader)

General warnings: being a second choice, Lo’ak going crazy, aged up! Lo’ak, since he will be 19 and reader 18. It has been years since the war. ANGST (Sorry) I has been exactly 5 years since the war. Angry and guilty feelings. Death.

Content warnings: as you may know, I don’t usually proofread my writings and this isn’t an exception, English isn’t my first language, sorry. Obviously inspired by the song. Not gonna lie, kind of a mess since I wrote this pretty sleep deprived lol. Lo’ak feeling guilty,

[ 1st Person POV ]

War hadn’t ended but we were having a time relatively close to calmness. We had lost so much during war, I lost Neteyam, my best friend. And we had lost more of our people. As future Tsa’hìk this had me emotionally damaged for so long.

The Sullys, even though they stayed with us, the closed to themselves even more. Our only interactions being with Kiri and Tuk. Ao’nung and I would always come around with Rotxo but Lo’ak would never respond.

I had to guide Neytiri as a grieving mother as my mom was in her own grieve. Working as a Tsa’hìk when you weren’t fully prepared was actually difficult.

Lo’ak would only talk to Tsireya, he closed so much into himself that I though I would never see him again. I did have a crush on him when war started and when they first came to the reef. I though we had fallen in love, but just after the war he changed.

This years I have had to push my pride aside and forget about it. It pained me not being able to see him or contact him in any way. Now more that I didn’t have Neteyam beside me. I was always there for him and he was always there for me.

To my surprise, after everything, my brother became more open and I spent a lot of time with Kiri and Tuk. None of us was the same as before.

Tsireya came back to our marui pod on night smiling softly. “Lo’ak will soon be prepared to talk to all of us” she beamed at me.

I didn’t have any right to feel mad, it was his grieving at the end of the day, but I still felt a soft pain in my heart. It has been five years, five years of only him and Tsireya. None of us could grieve together like Kiri and Tuk did. Hell, even Jake joined some emotional healing sessions.

Lo’ak and I were now 19, old enough to choose a mate. I, as future Tsa’hìk and daughter of our Olo’eyktan, Tonowari, had a lot of pressure on my shoulders. I hated it.

I felt jealous of Tsireya, she was free to do as she pleased, she was always with Lo’ak and she didn’t have the burden I had. But I felt thankful for my parents for always being there for me.

One night, as we were all eating dinner by the sore, a small tradition that Rotxo, Ao’nung, Kiri and I had began doing since the war, the unexpected happened. Lo’ak came towards us, Tsireya’s hand in his. “Hey” he softly muttered.

I smiled at him, moving in the sand just to give him space to squeeze himself in, but he stood still. His eyes frozen and unmoving. He waited until Tsireya sat down to sit by her side.

I frowned but continued eating my food.

[ Few days later ]

Lo’ak had integrated back into the group, as if 5 years weren’t nothing. Except for me, he never spoke to me or even looked at me. I was fuming. The worst part is that I had started hearing that he had chosen a mate. Allegedly another Metkayina girl asked him to be her mate and he refused saying he already had one. My only thought was Tsireya. She was strangely beaming lately. Had the already mated before Eywa.

One day I was no longer accepting this behavior and I walked up to him. “Oi! Lo’ak! What is your problem with me?” I asked, jogging after him when I saw him turning around. I could see he didn’t want to speak with me.

“What problem? I don’t have a problem” he muttered. His eyes scanned the place for Tsireya, but he didn’t see her. I grabbed his hand and tugged him towards my family’s marui, knowing nobody would be home by now.

“Lo’ak please tell me” I sounded exhausted. “ you know what it is like 5 years barely seeing you?” My voice broke.

His eyes widened. “I tried to reach out for you but you were too busy” he said, pushing the fault onto me. “My clan needed me Lo’ak, my people needed me” I sighed.

“I needed you too!” Lo’ak exclaimed. “Aren’t we one of your people?”. “You are but I am the future Tsa’hìk Lo’ak, I have had to take over my mother’s job way to early until she recovered, I had to take care of all of them, as a healer and as a spiritual guide, I had to grow up way earlier”.

“Tsireya was there for me” he said before leaving.

I started crying as I fell to the floor. I didn’t know Ao’nung had heard it all.

In the meantime, I relied on my father, Tonowari was a brave leader with a kind heart. The best Olo’eyktan we could ever had. He held me as I desperately cried all the feelings I hadn’t cried in those 5 years.

Ao’nung on the other side had cornered Lo’ak and pressured him as well as telling him how much I had suffered. Lo’ak then told him the truth. “I was scared of hurting her, okay?!? I lost my brother the day I was expecting to promise myself to her, to tell her that when we grew older she and I would mate. I lost my own fucking brother because of my fault, I didn’t want her to die because of me.” He screamed at Ao’nung, leaving my brother dumbfounded. “You know what it is like to feel the way I feel. How would you feel if Y/n or Tsireya died? Huh?”.

Lo’ak was fuming. He didn’t want to push me away.

Later on, he saw me on the beach and he sat down next to me. “Y/n, can we talk?” He asked me. “ yeah, are you going to blame me anymore for doing the job I was forced to do?”.

He winced a little bit at my harsh words. Silence fell upon us. Nobody dared to say a word. Even the world surrounding us sounded quieter. “Lo’ak…. Have you chosen a mate yet?” I asked, my voice almost a whisper. “Yes”.

My heart broke.

“Who is it? Is it Tsireya?” I looked at him, both of us had glossy eyes, one minute away from crying. “No.” He just answered. “There is only one for me”.

“Who is it then?!” “Only you, my girl” he said, tears breaking free for both of us. I started to cry, not very much understanding the situation anymore. “Only you my girl, only you babe” he continued saying like a mantra, while he kissed me.

Later on, he explained everything to me and even if we would have a long journey before us just to get back to the way we were, now we were together.

Avatar Taglist: @amerieee @simp-erformarvelwomen

Yandere Avatar Taglist <3: @jkeluv @penquinsqge

#avatar james cameron #avatar x reader #avatar #avatar 2 #avatar ( james cameron )#lo’ak te suli tsyeyk’itan #lo’ak fic #lo’ak x y/n #avatar angst

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elysiumblue · 9 months

Text

Pick a card - JUDGEMENT DAY: Review your past and learn to improve your future 🪦

The reading is inspired by the major arcana, "Judgement". It's quite a complex card for me so I want to do a reading inspired by the card to learn more about it. The spread I used is here, and the message I got from it is so informative, so you can give it a try too.

As the title said, this reading will give you a brief review of your past, reflection on the past, and guidance on what you can learn from it to create a better future. I think the text is quite long this time, so I won't provide a song for each pile, as I don't want to overwhelm you (and me lol).

Anyway, as it's a general reading, takes what resonates and leave the rest behind!

👇🏻 Pick an emoji you feel drawn to 👇🏻

And find the corresponding reading for you below!

Pile 1

In the past, you were shrouded by the sense of fear and anxiety. The situation you were in was not necessarily the worst thing on earth. Actually, for some of you, I can see that the situation you were in was somewhat "decent". It's like life was going on a nice direction, and you were always inspired to generate new ideas. However, it seems that it's very difficult for you to be happy even when things were "right".

You always felt that you're not enough, even though you had so much achievements in life. Such responses were caused by others opinions, as they never recognized your achievements, failed to express it to you in an honest way, or maybe you felt that you're hurting people with your progress as you made them jealous of you. You tried your very best to stay cool with those people, even when they said mean words to you. You tried not to have your emotions dictate your judgment, and you also tried very hard to hide them from people. You could be suffering from nightmares every night, but at day time you always tried to put on a show for people.

Those people can only see the surface of you. You can make them believe that you're doing absolutely ok. But can you do the same to yourself, when you have full information of yourself from both your body and mind? You tried to focus on the exterior of yourself to distract yourself from the pain you don't want to face. However, not looking at it doesn't mean that it's not here. You cannot neglect it's existence either as you can feel it in you so strongly no matter how hard you're distracting yourself from it.

The shroud separated your achievements from your heart, so you could never feel joy no matter how much you've achieved. Besides this, the grudge you have for the people also prevents you from expressing your ideas freely. You had, or maybe still have the tendency to hold back your ideas, because you don't think people deserve your brilliant ideas. You hate them and they don't deserve your best. You might be able to come up with the solution to a problem they're having instantly, but instead of telling them your idea immediately, you make them wait, and watch them suffer for a while before telling them your ideas.

Not telling people your ideas the second it generated from your mind is actually a great thing for you. However, the intention for you to do so is completely wrong. You used the time to enjoy people suffer, and feast from their negativity, instead of using the time to improve your ideas. Your ideas are really good even in their rawest form, but they can be so much better if you spend time on polishing them. It's because there's a duality in you that needs to be balanced. It's not a bad thing that there're two opposite minds in your brain. This trait can really help improving your thoughts if you take time to let them having constructive debate with each other.

By doing so, you can also learn how to let the two sides of you coexist in harmony, instead of fighting each other or neglecting the existence of each other. However, you first have to acknowledge the existence of one of the two sides, as it seems that you're trying to reject the existence of one of them. Also, you have to care less about other's opinions on you, because it's impossible to focus on the external and internal at the same time. By pulling back the focus on yourself, and fully accepting the two sides of you, you will be able to have a better knowledge of yourself, and find your own voice.

By being more connected to yourself, you will also experience less pain in relationships with others, as you no longer care that much about their opinions, and no longer have the desire to perform poor actions that can potentially hurt the relationship to make them agree with you.

Pile 2

You had an intense romantic relationship with someone in the past. It can also be a marriage, a family member, or a relationship that was so intense that it felt like family. Even thought it looked promising and felt like the real thing, you decided to cut them off because you're able to see that something was going extremely wrong even with the rose-colored glasses on.

Instead of giving your whole life, pouring all your love into that person, you resisted the temptation of going with the flow, and cut ties with them completely. For some of you, you may still have to face that person as it's still not possible to have them completely removed from your life due to different reasons. However, you basically blocked them from getting anything more than necessary from you. You decided to invest your time and energy into those who are bonded with you by exchanging energies with you fairly, instead of the person that's bonded with you by some fated event that you had to go through.

You having the courage to cut that person out of your life is one of the best things you've done in your life, as you accepted the fact that they could do nothing good to your life, instead of giving into the illusions. However, you are still suffering from the pain of making such decision, even though everyone, including you, acknowledges that this is a great decision. No matter how much time has passed, you still think about the possibilities that could happen. You may fantasize what could happen if you gave them a chance, or what could happen if they magically change into a better person one day.

It is very understandable for you to feel this way, as that person was once a very important part of your life. But you really have to accept the fact that it's impossible for you to invest your energy into the connection, and yourself at the same time, as they're really that useless to your life. Nothing can come out from the connection no matter what you do, as they're designed to be unhelpful to your life. You've dumped the garbage out from your house, so why you're still leaving the door open for a little bit, for the stench to enter your house.

Accept that things are DEAD, and stop looking back. Nothing good can happen if you continue such behaviour. You've chosen yourself instead of sinking with them back then, so it's time to commit to your option wholeheartedly. It may take time to completely erase their impact from your life and their existence in your mind, especially for those who still have to be stuck with the person in some way. However, changes can be made when you decided to switch your mindset, like how you decided to cut that person out from your life at the past. Focus on the goal of completely cutting off the energetic link to them, and keep putting effort into working towards the goal. The progress may be slow but if you keep doing it, eventually you can make it.

If this isn't motivating for you enough, I can see that the universe will give you a lesson if you don't start working on cutting energetic ties with them right now. The universe will do something to make you realize that it's the only thing you can do in this situation. I think you don't want to suffer more pain from this terrible situation. Also, I really think that you don't deserve being lectured by the universe again as I can see you put in so much effort in throwing the trash out of your life. There's only one step left to complete the cycle. Don't make yourself suffer the whole thing again just because you missed a step, even though you've finished 99% of the work.

Pile 3

I can see that your family had brought you a lot of suffering in the past. They set a really poor example of how people and the world works, and it distorted your view heavily. For some of you, your family members may be very full of themselves, thinking that they're superior than others. For some of you, they often demand you to give them something, but never give anything back to you in return.

Despite the distorted vision they've provided you, you are able to realize that there are other options for you outside. The suffering is so great that it pushes you to realize that home is not where you should be, and your family is not the people you should stay with. You might be confused or unsure about your future, but you're smart enough to know that your future is definitely not related to your family, and you are also sure that you don't want to have any relationship with your family anymore.

From your past experiences, you learned that you have the option to put an end to something in your life, as you discover that you have the power to cut ties with families you've been placed in since birth. The universe wants you to stick with this mindset. Believe that you're powerful enough to shape life the way you want. The traditions, the religions, the people in your life, have no power in deciding how your life should be, if you don't let them to have such power.

After understanding that you are powerful enough to decide how your life should be, you need to learn and understand that you are worthy and perfect. You're perfect as the way you are, so please don't do anything out of lack. If people fail to realize your worth, you should cut them off from your life, instead of changing yourself to the shape they like. You may think that it's an easy thing to do, as you've had your view distorted by your family for years. However, it's so much harder to do it when you're awakened. Awakening is like breaking a mirror. You can try everything but you cannot go back to the state when you were asleep, as you can always see the crack in the mirror.

Also, you should open yourself up to love and affection. It may be difficult for you to feel that you're loveable or deserve love, as people had mistreated you for so long in the past. However, you already know that they're wrong, so don't follow the false guidance to the wrong path ever again. Be comfortable with their praises, gifts, and offers to help you. You know that you don't have to be stuck in the excruciating pain forever. It's time to have fun in the present, and create a happier future.

Don't fall back into the patterns of the past. You may look back at it for inspiration, but you have to remember that there's a barrier between you and the past. No matter how close it felt, you have to remember that there's always a distance between you and the past. It's like looking at the view from the window. Your past is a completed story, so don't interact with it ever again.

#pick a card #tarot reading #general tarot reading

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sarahs-secrets2 · 1 year

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All Mine (Phillip Graves x Reader) 18+ ࿐♡ ˚.*ೃ

Proof I have the least creative mind bc I just steal plots from songs LMFAO I'm the worst. Blame my daydreams!!!! I do have some that aren't based on songs I promise, they are just taking longer because I get distracted easily by the song drabbles LOL.

Based on All Mine by Brent Faiyaz

gn! (no use of Y/N)

Word Count: 1.4k

Warnings: FWB, NSFW, swearing, possessiveness if you squink, pet names

₊°✧︡ ˗ ˏ ˋ ♡ ˎˊ ˗

Being in the military was lonely, Phillip Graves made it a little less lonely. The two of you had been hooking up for about a year now. You had agreed to friends with benefits.

Relationships got too sticky and involved too many emotions, neither you nor Phillip had time for anything of the sort. The main focus for both of you had to be on missions and not each other, but you could still fool around, what was wrong with that?

The first time you met, there was some pull towards the Commander, something about the way he carried himself. “No fucking way your real name is Phil Graves, c'mon”, you laughed at how the name sounded.

“That’s what my mama named me and that's my daddy’s last name sweetheart, so I guess it is my real name, how bout that”, he was well aware of the humor in the name and being someone who quite literally filled graves.

A month after your first encounter, you found yourself pushed against a wall with Graves’ hands all over you as the two of you entwined in a kiss. The kiss leading to the first hookup, not shortly after.

“Holy shit, we are gonna be in so much trouble Graves”, laying next to Phillip in his bed at base was not something you predicted happening when joining the Shadows.

“No trouble to get into if we keep it between us, what do you think? Wanna keep this up?” the offer taunted you. Phillip Graves was magnetic, he filled every empty cavity in your mind and body, and still somehow left you wanting more.

Saying yes to the offer was your best decision yet.

Sex with Phillip fluctuated on his mood. Bad days were rough, hot sex. Good days resulted in soft, passionate sex. With the Commander, there was never really in between, and you had no complaints, as long as you were in his bed, you were satisfied.

Graves was well aware of the effect he had on you, using it to his advantage whenever he could, consistent teasing and egging on to get you hot and bothered.

Phillip was at it again tonight, as you sat on the edge of your bed waiting for the Commander to answer the phone.

“Whaddya doing calling me this late?” Phillip was acting like this was the first time you had called him for sex, it was his favorite thing to do to rile you up.

“Let me come over Graves, I wanna see you”,

“See me? Doll, you already saw me today what are you on about?”, he wanted you to spell it out for him.

“I need you Phillip, can I come to yours?”, the effect he had on you was undeniable and you almost hated how easily you would do something for him.

“Need me? Are ya hurt? I’ll get the medic, stay where you are,”

“Please, Graves, I need you to fuck me oh my god,”

“That’s all you had to say princess, come on down”, what an ass, you thought to yourself as you wandered down the hall to see the Commander.

“There’s my girl”, Phillip greeted you as you swung the door open, he was in a pair of sweatpants that had his boxers peeking over the waistband. You hated how good he looked all the time, it was almost criminal. You walked over to Graves, arms going around his neck, pulling him close as his hands grabbed your waist with his thumbs rubbing light circles on your hips. Your lips connected to his neck as he mumbled into your ear, “Was it so hard to use your words?”

“Shut up Graves”, to which he obliged taking you in his arms and to the bed.

The following morning you woke up in the Commander's arms, with your head resting on his chest. The friends-with-benefits concept between the two of you was riding a dangerous line. Both of you were too afraid to admit whatever feelings were there.

“You awake?” Graves’ morning voice cut through the quiet room, his hand was slowly running through your hair.

“Watching me sleep again? Creepy Phillip, I might have to report you”,

“Go ahead doll, I’m sure they would love to hear why you were naked in my bed in the first place”, you sat up causing him to loosen his grip, sticking your tongue out at the remark. The Commander let out a slight chuckle as he raised himself up on his elbows to talk to you.

“Hey, I’ve been meaning to tell you since we got that break in a week, I don't expect you to ya know, wait for me. You get what I’m saying?”, Graves’ hand rested on the back of his head, you could tell he was nervous to even say this. It kinda hurt too, you were hoping he would've offered some exclusivity, but it was just friends with benefits you tried to remind yourself, nothing more.

“Oh yeah, same goes you I guess”, it was easier to agree with him instead of confessing the feelings you had growing for the Commander. “Well I better get back to my room, I’ll see you around Phillip”, grabbing your stuff, you ran out quicker than usual hoping to hide the overwhelming rush of emotions you felt.

The break came and went, you ended up hooking up with some old hometown fling, nothing serious, just something to hold you down for the time being. Maybe it was purely out of spite because of what Graves said but you would never admit that to yourself.

Walking back onto base you were nervous to see the Commander, the last conversation didn't exactly end on an ideal note. Opening the door to your room, there stood the one person you were attempting to avoid, Phillip Graves.

“Come ‘ere doll, I missed ya”, he was acting different, what did he do… your mind started to wander. He came up to you, still standing in the doorway trying to decipher the situation, bringing you into a hug. Reluctantly you hugged back, still extremely confused.

“What’s going on Phillip”, pulling back from the hug, looking up at him.

“I don’t want to keep up this thing we got goin’ on anymore”,

“Oh, um, yeah okay we can stop I get”, you were hurt, even though it was just sex you had developed feelings along the way, which was your fault but who could blame you?

“Oh shit… I’m sorry sweetheart, I was gettin’ ahead of myself, I meant I want this to be an exclusive thing”,

“Really?”

“Yeah, missed you a lot during the break made me realize how much I like havin’ you round, whaddya say? Wanna give it a try?” “I would like that”, you replied smiling back up at him, “I do have to tell you something, I did hookup with someone back home, but it was just because I was upset at what you said before we left, too be honest though he couldn't even make me finish so does it even count, I would argue no-”

“Doll, its okay, I was a bit of an idiot for saying that I admit it, that’s on me”, he laughed brushing the hair out of your face, “ Damn shame that he couldn’t make you finish though, sounds like something I could take care of,”

“That right Commander? I’ve been feeling a little pent up, hoping you could help with that”,

“Now that you're all mine, I’ll be glad to help you out anytime sweetheart”, Graves leaned down pulling you in for a kiss, this one was different from the previous ones, it was sweet and thoughtful. Phillip’s hands snuck down to your waist, picking you up as your legs went to wrap around him.

“So eager for me already darling”,

“I know what I want, what’s wrong with that? Hmm?”

“Nothin’ at all,” Graves mumbled up against your ear slowly making his way down your neck to mark you as his.

“Watch it, Phillip, people are gonna think I got attacked by a vampire”,

“I just want to show them you’re all mine darling, don't worry ‘bout it”.

₊°✧︡ ˗ ˏ ˋ ♡ ˎˊ ˗

Every time I write for Graves the more obsessed I get I swear, this one had me feeling some type of way

#phillip graves #phillip graves x reader #phillip graves cod #philip graves x reader #warren kole

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prettyboyhowl · 10 months

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so i made a song because yes i have the @infamous-if brainrot and i have it bad 😭

'where the flowers grow' is a leaked song from synthpop band Sunhopper Shopping Channel, who take inspiration from 'sci-fi, romance novels, and Saturday morning cartoons' to create their genre-blending songs.

The song was written by frontman Kasen Yun, known to fans as Skip. He has strongly denied all rumours that the song is related to ex and former bandmate Seven Lawless, despite certain lyrics suggesting otherwise.

*Disclaimer: i tried my best but while MC is a singer i am NOT lmao (also i don't like my voice and idk how to sing with an american accent besides changing the pronunciation of 'can't' so just putting that out there first lol)

Lyrics:

'why am i still on your wrist' the thought lingers like a chaste kiss on my mind how do i get over this? i keep thinking back to when you were still mine

somehow you wake up all the best and the worst parts of me hate how you take up all the spaces i can't seem to reach

tell me do you know that you still live in the part of my memory where the flowers grow? i'll never know just how to let you go

how do you remember us? wish i could hop onto your memory bus hitch a ride, look around to see where those secret thoughts of yours all hide

and if do, and if i find something that maybe, just maybe i don't like would you mind, if i closed my eyes pretending like everything's fine

(prechorus)

tell me do you know that you still live in the part of my memory where the flowers grow? i'll never leave this spot where you've left me standing

always pause, when i count to ten but i know i'd do it all over again spend my time with an empty hand hoping you'll come back and hold it again

tell me do you know that you still live in the part of my memory where the flowers grow? hope you're happy you hurt me I’ll never forgive you

and i hate that i love you hate that i miss you

#posting this before i sleep so i don't stress over it all day ahahaaa #my boy kasen is very much not over his ex... but can't stop flirting with victoria lmaooo #anyways shoutout to seven for motivating me to complete a song for once in my life #it's not perfect but i learned stuff while making it so that's a win!#also ngl it was a battle to reign in the twang on 'knoOoOow'#i had to practice pronouncing it skdjfh #fan music #infamous if

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itsasweater · 10 months

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HSMTMTS thoughts before season 4

So I recently finished my re-watch of season 1 through 3 before the final season airs so that things are fresh in my memory. I wanted to make a couple of posts on my thoughts on the seasons in general and possibly some specific topics like the characters themselves. This one will be about each season.

Season 1:

I hadn't seen this season since when it originally aired and let me just say, it was kind of a grind to watch. I feel like the season didn't really start until the Homecoming episode which was ep 5. I also forgot this season had 10 episodes. The whole Nini/Ricky/EJ triangle storyline didn't really hit for me. Ricky's home problems with his parents, everything changing around him (which he clearly hates) and how he dealt with that was probably the best storyline of the season, as sad as it was to see his character go through it. The music in the season was decent, Nini had some really good. I think a lot of nostalgia comes in to play with the way people talk about season 1, it is overhyped. I also think a lot of it has to do with the very weird Jolivia obsession that still to this day for some reason resides in the fandom, I see the PFP's and twitter user names smh. Overall, new shows tend to struggle out of the gate and need a while to find the right path so I'm at least glad that they got more seasons to continue that journey instead of being cancelled like many shows do without getting the chance to do so. It certainly seems like they were not sure whether they would get renewed or not after season 1.

Season 2:

It really is a shame that this season has the most episodes because I feel like it is definitely the weakest season. It was a struggle to get through this season on the re-watch. I appreciate what the cast and crew went through while filming this season though because I know they started filming in Feb 2020 and stopped in March because of the pandemic and had to return towards the end of 2020 until March of the next year with under strict conditions. So, maybe the pandemic played a role in the quality of the season but I feel like this was even the casts least favorite season with the way they talked about it. Nini's YAC storyline felt out of place and just didn't keep me engaged, the lighting for this season was also very dark lol. I do think this season did a nice job of continuing to show Ricky's struggle with his home life from season 1 and the fact that things were still changing in his life which the show continues to mention just how much he hates that. Ashlyn getting the leading role as Belle was nice and her dealing with her insecurities about that was good. The season Finale fell flat though, it seemed rushed and I think it was ranked as the worst episode in the whole series. This season did however have 2 of my favorite songs of the whole show, the trio of Kourtney, Gina and Ashlyn coming together to sing 1-2-3 was great. The 4 main characters (Nini, Gina, EJ and Ricky) singing Second Chance was so good, they meshed well together.

Season 3:

This season is probably my favorite. I know some people in the fandom don't feel the same about the season because it felt different from the first 2 but I think that is a good thing. Sometimes shows need a change of pace and they did that with this season. Making it a summer season out of school at a camp was something different and the show had a different tone because of it. It was definitely more lighthearted compared to season 2 and the cast seemed to have had great time filming together. Also going from filming in Utah to filming in LA was probably a nice change for the actors since most of them are based in LA. I know the whole documentary storyline thing was an adjustment for people but they clearly had a plan for it to be a springboard for the plot in season 4 and connect them together. Besides that, Kourtney's anxiety storyline was a highlight for me as I'm sure lots of people could relate to her, the phone call with her mom was great and I'm interested to see if they touch on this more in season 4. Some of the disappointment in the season comes from favorite characters not being in it like Seb and Big Red which is understandable but it's also realistic that not everyone in the group would go to the same camp in the summer, when people usually have different plans. Also, the show clearly felt like they weren't as important to tell the story in season 3 which was used too set up season 4. It was nice that Big Red, Seb and Miss Jenn did make cameo's though, with how big the cast is and the length of the episodes that are not that long it's hard to fit everyone in with meaningful storylines. The additions of Maddox and Jet this season were probably the best new characters that the show has added during the 3 seasons, the actors playing them are great as well and seem to have really bonded with the cast which is really nice to see. WDYKAL was probably my favorite performance of the season, it was very non Disney like lol The tension and chemistry was kind of crazy lol I feel like they could have shown more of the Frozen performance but Kourtney playing Elsa was also a great moment in the season. I'm really excited for season 4 because they seem to be going with a really META storyline for the season and I'm excited too see how the documentary from season 3 has affected the characters.

Anyways, this turned out longer than I intended it too but these are my thoughts on each of the 3 seasons after my re-watch, I will probably make a couple more posts on singular topics like the characters or the ships later. I'm always up for discussions, so if you have anything you want to say please do. I know this place can get out of hand when discussing this show within the fandom but I have thicker skin than most and I don't mind having a discussion but I also understand I'm not the norm lol

If you have read all of this, thank you. If you at least read the title of the post, thank you. Even though you will not see the thank you lol

#hsmtmts #ricky bowen #ashlyn caswell #highschoolmusicalthemusicaltheseries #kourtney greene #ej caswell #nini salazar roberts #hsmtmts season 4

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souryogurt64 · 8 months

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let me preface this to say i don’t like him either and think he’s mad annoying but i feel like you’re completely correct about the rewriting history thing re brendon and panic and just brendon in general. i think it shows how changeable bandom is and also the desire of fans to have a scapegoat to project anger towards instead of someone else such as their own faves who have also made missteps in the past related to any number of things. like i don’t think i’ve ever seen someone this universally hated except maybe bryar or morris though i feel like there have been instances where one person will just get continuous shit for awhile like it happened to pete in the late 2010s and we all know who’s in the midst of a scandal rn. brendon is an easy target also because he has bad aesthetics and people are embarrassed that they liked him during the 2010s esp i think a lot of new ryan fans. the same people also like to ignore that pete and patrick are good friends with him because pete is back in public favor (and ig patrick to some extent idk that he’s ever gotten true backlash for anything other than his adjacency to pete) because again it’s all about just having someone to direct hate towards even though a good portion of it is fairly deserved lol

Bandom is definitely really malleable and people ignore who is friends with who in favor of their opinions. I have been here for a long time and people's opinions of certain band members like Ryan or Mikey have fluctuated wildly.

However, I feel like the social justice elements of this stuff are very niche. There is a video on YouTube that is approaching a million views about Brendon's fall from grace and it barely talks about that stuff at all. The majority of time the video spends on that element are talking about vague "allegations" that point blank do not exist. But as a whole, it spends the most time talking about Panic! becoming cringe because of their sonic changes and High Hopes being licensed as Pete Buttigieg's campaign song.

No one on the street cares if Frank made an antisemitic joke in Instagram comments, but they sure care that High Hopes is annoying and doesn't sound like I Write Sins.

Overall, I think that when bands have to break up or go on hiatus due to public outcry or there is some huge scandal, it does not come out of nowhere and it is rarely actually about social justice. It's because the bands are falling apart, not selling well or sounding good, and burning bridges left and right so their fans are just mad. I tried really hard to demonstrate this in my 14k word essay about SWMRS and Burger, lol.

To use Pete as an example, Fall Out Boy had to push back MANIA, left their label and and went independent, and MANIA got the worst reviews of any Fall Out Boy album. Going back to Frank, MCR have been dangling a nonexistent album over their fans heads for 4 years now, which is approaching as long as they've been on hiatus and people are starting to get mad.

Comparatively, Brendon had a bunch of drama with Dallon who went on to start a really successful project. Also, from day 1 Panic have been surrounded by drama and scandals. I see a lot of people saying VLV was the lowest selling and there's been a lot about some technical/vocal issues on the last tour as well.

Also Brendon (and Ryan tbh) also seems to have a hard time behaving around interviewers. I honestly feel like this impacted how they are widely considered irrelevant and shitty by music critics, and I think this maybe also played a role in the missing press from the final album cycle.

Also, a lot of these bands have PR teams and management who can get control of this stuff. IDK what happens privately, but judging by what happened with Panic, Brendon seems to only want to be around yes-men and his "best friend" is on his payroll.

They also tend to have friends who are willing to go to bat for them publicly-- ie, recently when MCR and FOB fans got into a tiff, Mikey was onstage with FOB within 48 hours. When All Time Low and Gym Class Heroes announced a tour, it was announced the same day GCH were onstage with FOB. The way publications like Rolling Stone covered All Time Low thing is different than how it covered Burger. Etc.

Side note, I think Pete has always gone through periods of being the world's most hated, but in the 2000s things were just more honest and bitchy instead of everyone trying to moralize everything.

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getsojaded · 2 years

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part iii: non-refundable || calum hood

word count: 3.9k+

warnings: swearing, people are drunk, briiief mention of weed, tiny tiny underlying mention of sex lol

a/n: hello, me again :) this one is def a bit longer than the last two and nowww we finally have some slight action from cal and y/n (ik it was a slow start for this story i am soz). i hope u guys like this one! xo

playlist

—

“So, you’re just gonna go with him?” Gab questions through Y/N’s headphones, as she walks through the aisle containing all the little travel-sized necessities. Her (not-so) anticipated trip with her ex-boyfriend was now less than a week away, Y/N coming to the realization that she should probably get her shit sorted out before it’s too late.

“I mean, there’s nothing else we can do. We tried getting our way outta it Gab, trust me,” Y/N responds as she grabs the first toothpaste that catches her eye. “Are you not fucking terrified?!” Gab asks. “If I were you, I’d be straight up shitting myself and crying. Aren’t you like, still in love with this guy?”

Y/N sighs at Gab’s response. Gab knows everything about her, and most definitely saw her at her worst when she left Calum. Poor Y/N couldn’t even get out of bed for at least two weeks, only listening to her favorite songs of his, and scrolling back to the thousands of photos they had together – she hadn’t deleted any of them.

After all, how does one recover from a three year, intensely loving relationship? All crashing down because of a lack of communication?

“Yeah, but… he doesn’t need to know that. It’s only a two and a half week trip. I don’t need to mask my feelings for that long, no?” Y/N asks not only Gab, but herself as well. “You’re right ; it’s not that long of a time period, however it’s two and a half weeks of spending the majority of your time with your ex, staying in the same room, potentially in the same bed, pretending like you wouldn’t take him back in a heartbeat if he asked.” Gab states, and Y/N groans at her amazing logic. As much as she hated to admit, Gab was completely right, doubting herself at how long she can keep the act up of being moved on.

“I fucking hate you bro,” Y/N starts, frowning at her best friend on her phone. “Why do you have to be so - oh fuck!” her sentence gets cut off by her walking to a broad figure. “I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to run into… Calum?”

“Lovely seeing you here, Y/N.” Calum responds, with a small smile on his face. Y/N’s heart jumps, flutters, and sinks all at the same time as she quickly tells Gab that she’ll call her back later, before ending it and putting her attention back towards him. “Sorry for crashing into you, I was totally looking at my phone.”

“Was that Gab Gab?” Calum asks Y/N, her slightly giggling at the old nickname he used to call her best friend. “The one and only,” she sighs, picking up some small, empty plastic bottles for her shampoo and conditioner. “I’ve missed that insanity of a human being,” Calum responds, remembering how rowdy Gabriella was at their gatherings. She had always had a strong, outgoing personality, and it didn’t help that she was the most lightweight person ever. Two shots in, and the girl was gone for the night. “Anyways, I’m assuming we’re both here for the same things?”

Y/N takes a quick glance at Calum’s shopping basket, and then hers. It’s practically the same, tiny sized items, Y/N having just a bit more than Calum, but that was totally expected. Calum always told her on their trips that it was overpacking, but Y/N countered his statements by saying “it’s called being prepared!”

“Why’d you get the shittiest mouthwash? You know Listerine is the best one.” Y/N jokingly shits on Calum, receiving an offended look from him in return. “Listerine is two dollars more! I’m trying to save some money here,” he scoffs, pointing to the two different price tags. “You say that as if you’re not a multi-millionaire, bab- Calum..”

Y/N fucked up. Y/N let that stupid, basic slip out of her mouth and she immediately feels heat rush to her cheeks as she realizes her little slip up. But Calum’s not dumb, he hears that switch up of names all too well, his face almost falling once he hears his full name. To save her embarrassment, he pretends to not hear it and continues the conversation, ignoring the fire starting in his chest.

“Money is money, I could totally be using those two dollars for something extremely important. What if we’re short two dollars for touring and I need to pitch in the extra?”

Now Calum has fucked up. He knows he was trying to make a lighthearted joke out of everything, but the topic of touring was always a sensitive one, for the both of them. It’s practically the whole reason they were no longer together — constantly being away from each other. Calum and Y/N both take notice of the tension almost immediately, as she tries to blow the whole thing off.

“You’re such an idiot,” she quietly laughs, looking down. Calum’s about to reply, but he feels a vibration in his front pocket. “Hold on, Mike’s calling.” Y/N looks back up at the sound of Michael’s name, her eyes lighting up. Not only has she missed the boy standing right in front of her dearly, but his three brothers as well.

“Hey, what’s up? .. I’m at Walmart .. I ran into Y/N. … Tonight? Yeah sure .. You want me to? … Yeah, I’ll ask her. … Alright, I’ll see you later. Love you,” Calum’s conversation is short and sweet, ending the phone call less than a minute later. He looks back to Y/N, who’s currently inspecting the two small bottles of mouthwash.

“I know this is a bit odd, but Mike’s headed to Australia for a little bit and today is his last day in LA. We’re gonna spend a little bit of time with him at his place tonight, and he asked if you wanted to come along.”

Y/N doesn’t think twice before responding. She loved spending time with all of them, and she’d love to reunite with all of them. “Yes! I’ve missed them so much!” She excitedly responds, before her smile turns into a frown. “But I didn’t drive, I walked here.”

“I drove, I’ll t-take you.” Calum stutters, internally facepalming himself at the nerves that instantly filled his body. “O-okay, thank you,” Y/N responds, feeling the exact same things that Calum does. “I’m finished here now, can I grab a small snack to bring to Michael’s though?” She asks. Calum gives her a quick of course before he follows her to the bakery aisle. “Chocolate chip or oatmeal chocolate chip?” She asks for his opinion, holding up the two plastic boxes contained with cookies.

“Well, safest option, regular. But for you and I, hundred percent oatmeal.” Calum responds, thinking back to the countless amount of times they’d devour a 12 pack of oatmeal chocolate cookies a joint or two in. Y/N flashes a grin at Calum, and he swears that he breaks a sweat. So fucking beautiful, he thinks to himself, before his thoughts get cut off by her voice. “You’re right. I’m the one paying for these anyways.”

After quickly making their way to the checkout line and paying for their items, Calum and Y/N make their way back to his car. “I’m a bit nervous,” Y/N admits, as Calum opens his trunk. “You are? Why?” “I mean, I haven’t seen them in what — six months? What if they think I’m all weird and annoying now..” she trails off, and Calum’s hands find their way to her shoulders as he forces her to look her in the eyes.

“Hey,” Calum begins, and he struggles to continue his sentence the moment she looks up at him, all doe-eyed with a scared little look on her face. “There’s no need to worry ‘bout that shit. They’ve always loved you and loved having you around, and they’ve missed you dearly.” Almost as much as I do, he thought. “Mike’s the one that asked me to bring you along as well, no? Don’t you worry, okay? They’ll be very happy to see you.”

Y/N’s nervous face immediately turns into a soft smile once Calum’s reassuring words fill her body with warmth. That’s one thing she had always adored about him throughout the entirety of their relationship – his way with words. Calum can barely contain his smile once he sees her grin up at him, softly responding with an “okay” before he lets go of her shoulders and lets her walk to the passenger seat of his car, unaware of her tiny smile that has now turned into a big one as she buckles her seatbelt. Y/N’s also unaware of the cheeky grin he makes after letting go of her body, the stupidest smile planted on his face while he closes the trunk.

As Calum starts the car, he passes Y/N his phone. “Take it away, Miss Aux Cord.” The both of them laugh at what he says, as they both remember that was the one sentence Calum had always said to Y/N as they were about to head off on a drive, no matter the distance. Y/N was always great with music, having the best playlists on her Spotify account and always being given the aux at functions. “Let’s hope I’m still good at this.” She giggles, going onto her account and clicking one of her random playlists, settling with The Sound by The 1975. “Straight banger!” Calum exclaims, as they sing the first few lines of the song.

“You’re so conceited, I said that I love you. What does it matter that I lie to you?”

“I don’t regret it, but I’m glad that we’re through. So don’t you tell me that you just don’t get it ‘cause I know you do!”

The two of them get to Michael’s place not too long later, Y/N’s cookies in one hand as she knocks on the door with the other. In the car, Calum said that she “should knock on the door and be the first one that they see so it’s more meaningful”, in which she happily obliged.

“Hey Cal what’s u- Y/N!!” Ashton greets at the door, immediately giving Y/N the biggest hug. She giggles into his chest, as he sways the two of them back and forth. “It’s good to see you, Ash!” She exclaims, Ashton pulling away to dap Calum up.

“No fucking way Y/N is here,” the three of them hear a voice call out from the top of the stairs, seeing an extremely excited Sierra run down. Y/N runs towards her, engulfing her in another big hug once Sierra is an arms length from her. “I’ve missed you so much!” Y/N groans, and she feels another body to the side of her. “What’s good, little miss thing? I’ve missed you.” Luke happily says, patting the top of her head.

“Aw, I wanna get in on this!” Michael exclaims once he walks out of the washroom, rushing towards the little group hug that was forming in the centre of his living room. Ashton had already gotten his but, but he didn’t want to miss out on it either.

Calum watches the little group hug about three feet away from him, admiring the sight. All his friends loved Y/N so much, and it’s safe to say that that hasn’t changed. His heart feels full, and he’s glad to see all of them get along as if she’d never left.

His thoughts are cut off by Luke’s voice saying “Cal, get the fuck over here!” and Calum happily partakes in the hug, groaning in contentment. “Happy reunion!” Y/N’s happy voice echoes throughout the room, the rest of the group cheering in union.

After pulling away and getting settled, Y/N places the cookies on the little table that the couches are surrounding, taking a seat in the only available spot — in between Calum and Michael.

Sierra gets up from her seat, opening the bottle of champagne and pouring everybody a glass, passing the first one to Y/N. “Take it girl, I think you need it.” Y/N laughs at the underlying jokes within that statement, gladly taking the glass from her. “You have no fucking idea.”

“So Y/N, how have you been? Update us on everything!” Luke says, all eyes darting on Y/N. All her nerves have dissolved by now, immediately feeling comfort with the group she had once been in. “Everything’s been pretty well, for the most part! Came back from a business trip in Wisconsin about two weeks ago? Now I have a month and a half off, thank God,” she exclaims, leaning back into the couch, which happened to be where Calum’s arm was laying. Ashton and Luke take notice of what had happened, winking at each other and dapping each other up.

—

Three bottles of champagne and two hours of conversation later, it’s safe to say that everyone was pretty drunk. Everyone except for Calum and Luke, that is, being designated drivers for the night. Y/N and Sierra had taken over the TV, running their fifth game of Mario-Kart, and Ashton and Michael rummaging through his kitchen, after eating the majority of the cookies and still being hungry.

Luke takes a seat next to Calum on the couch, who’s currently playing with Petunia. “So, pulling up with Y/N? What’s up with that?” Luke asks in a low voice and smirking, resulting in Calum groaning and throwing his head back. “It’s not even like that, mate. Ran into her at Walmart buying some stuff for next week and Mike called while I was talking to her. Asked her if she wanted to come as well.” “You gonna make this girl yours again by the end of your trip? I know you want to.”

“Of course I do, there’s nothing else I want more than to do that. But, we haven’t talked about anything in that sense and quite frankly, I’m not sure if I want to, I’m scared. We broke up for good reason, we couldn’t see each other as much as we wanted to. And from the looks of it, she seems happy. We’re both happy. Don’t wanna fuck that up.” Calum responds honestly, glancing at Luke who has a frown on his face.

“You guys didn’t break up for good reason, because you guys couldn’t see each other. You broke up because you two didn’t bother acknowledging the problem. You broke up because you gave up the moment things got hard, without trying to fix it. Now’s the time to make things right! You’re gonna be with her for almost three weeks, just the two of you. You have all that time to show her you can be a better man for her. Why pretend like you don’t love her when you still do? And don’t give me that we’re happy now bullshit. You haven’t even bothered looking in a woman’s direction since Y/N had left. You still want that girl more than anything.” Luke responds, and Calum hates him for being right. Calum’s never one to cause problems, constantly walking on eggshells in certain situations. But he loves her with everything in him, he always did. He doesn’t want to start any issues on a trip that’s supposed to be carefree and laid-back, but Luke’s right ; it’s the perfect time and place to show her the love he failed to do so, before she left.

“Yeah, just DO IT!” Michael yells, bent over where his head is in between Luke and Calum’s. The two boys sitting on the couch jump, snapping their heads towards him. “Mate, how long have you been there?” Luke asks, grabbing his heart that was currently beating irregularly. “Long enough to know that Cal’s gonna try and get his ex back. Wish you the best of luck mate, text me when it happens!” Michael drunkenly responds, a little too loud for Calum’s liking, causing him to shush at him. “Sorry sorry, forgot she was there for a sec.”

“YES!!” Sierra screams as a sulking Y/N sits back at her spot on the couch, arms crossed with a pout on her face. “What’s wrong?” Calum asks her, wrapping his arm around her. He locks his eyes with hers as she leans her head into his chest. “I keep losing! I’ve lost the last three times against Sierra. I need to stop using Pink Yoshi! He’s bad luck!” She complains, visibly upset. “Guess I gotta beat up Pink Yoshi now,” Calum whispers, running his fingers through Y/N’s hair. “It’s okay Y/N, don’t be sad, it’s just Mario-Kart.”

“I HATE PINK YOSHI!” she yells, tears threatening to fall from her eyes. “No no no, don’t cry. I’ll make sure that Pink Yoshi never makes you lose another game again, okay?” Calum responds, him and Luke trying not to giggle at her drunken distress over her choice of Mario-Kart character. “You gotta use Red Yoshi, love. He’s the best.” Luke says to Y/N. She looks up at him from Calum’s shoulder, intrigued. “Red?”

“Yes. I use him every time, and I win everytime. Ask Michael, he can’t beat me.” He responds, and Y/N shifts her eyes to Michael, who’s eating a bag of chips. “Heeey,” he groans, “Red Yoshi just has a bunch of superpowers that Toad doesn’t have! You just cheat!” Y/N giggles at Michael’s statement, pointing at Luke. “Cheaaater.” Luke scoffs with a smile on his face, “It’s not my fault you suck, Mike.”

Calum just sits there and scopes out the situation, wondering how the hell he’s kept up with these people for so long. Luke and Michael continue their argument about if Red Yoshi or Toad is better, and Ashton has replaced Y/N’s spot in Mario-Kart, switching to Red Yoshi after eavesdropping on their conversation. Calum stays put with a soft smile on his face, stroking Y/N’s hair and softly rubbing her scalp. He almost doesn’t realize that she’s dozing off in his arms, lips slightly parted and breathing a bit heavier than usual.

“You tired, sweet girl?” Calum asks the girl comfortably laying on him, not even caring that he let one of the pet names he called her slip out. She nods lightly, nuzzling her face into his chest. “I’m sleepy, Cal.”

Cal. He’s heard that nickname millions of times, but he hasn’t heard it from her in what feels like ages. He hasn’t heard her call him that in a while, and he fucking loves it. He smiles at her, slowly getting up from the couch and bringing her up with him.

“Let’s go home, Y/N.”

Him and Y/N quickly say goodbye to their friends, wishing Michael a safe flight back to Australia tomorrow.

“Thanks guys. You two have one as well, alright?” Michael jokes around, earning a snort from Ashton and Luke clapping his hands together. “Oh fuck off,” Calum laughs, giving Michael a hug before they take off.

Y/N stumbles her way to the car, Calum rushing over towards her and grabbing her by the waist, trying to stabilize her. “I got you,” He whispers, opening the door for her and helping her get inside. He jogs to the driver’s seat, starting the car and passing her his phone. “Take it away, Miss Drunk Aux Cord.”

She giggles at the change of sentence, clicking Softcore by The Neigbourhood.

“I’m always gone, out on the go. I’m on the run and you’re home alone. I’m too consumed with my own life, are we too young for this?” she sings softly, sighing. Calum only now realizes how much the song she played resonated with the both of them. He wonders if the reason she sighed is because she had also come to the realization of that, as well.

Calum gets to Y/N’s place less than ten minutes later, parking in front of her house and assisting her with getting out of the car. She wraps her arm around his waist, hoisting her up. “Drank too much,” she groans, stumbling towards the door and clutching her stomach.

“Just grabbing your keys,” Calum reaches into her jacket pocket, taking her keys and unlocking the door. They kick off their shoes, as Y/N frowns at the sight of the multiple stairs she has to go up. She is way too drunk and tired for this. To her benefit, Calum notices her frown at the stairs and decides to pick her up bridal style, making his way up the stairs. “I got you, don’t worry.” “Second door on the left,” she whispers once he reaches the top of the stairs. He kicks the slightly open door, placing her lightly on the bed. She smiles at the comfort, turning to her side as Calum removes her hoodie. “Hey, we’ve seen each other for a day since we broke up. Not yet,” She half jokes, Calum immediately letting go of the hoodie. “I’m joking, can you pass me that shirt over there?” She asks, pointing to the shirt laying on her desk chair.

Passing the shirt to her, he realizes that it’s his Nine Inch Nails shirt, smiling at her once she puts it on. “So that’s where the shirt went.” “Never asked for it back.” She responds, getting under the covers.

“I’ll head out now, it was good to see you Y/-“ “Wait,” Y/N cuts Calum off, extending her arm to reach for his hand. He walks back towards her, grabbing her hand and interlocking it with his. She doesn’t know what’s come over her, and she’s a little nervous to ask. But she’s drunk, and she has nothing to lose. “It’s late, Cal. Stay here tonight.“

“Are you sure?” He asks her cautiously. Everything in his body is telling him to stay, but she’s drunk and he doesn’t want her to regret it the next day. “It’s late,” she repeats, “And we’ll be sleeping in the same bed at the same time next week. Come here.” She pats the empty spot beside her, flashing him a tired smile.

He walks towards the empty side of her bed, taking off his shirt and crawling into bed with her. She shuffles closer to him, nuzzling her face into the crook of his neck, wrapping her arm around him.

It’s quiet for a few moments, and Calum’s about to doze off, before her quiet voice speaks up again. “Missed this… missed you, Cal.”

His eyes widen, and he whispers a “what?” in response but by the time he asks, she’s fallen fast asleep. He looks down at her, caressing her cheek before he hears the door open softly.

“You home - Cal?!” Gabriella whispers softly, walking over towards him and giving him a slight side hug. “It’s been a while, Gab Gab. How’ve you been?” He whispers in response. “Been good, just getting by, really. What about you? Is Y/N okay?” She asks.

“I’ve been okay, as for Y/N… she had too much to drink tonight. Ran into her at Walmart and asked if she wanted to spend some time with everyone at Michael’s and next thing you know, she almost broke into tears over losing Mario-Kart while using Pink Yoshi.“ he explains, Gabriella facepalming at her sleeping friend. “I’m assuming she asked you to stay as well.” She states, him nodding in response.

“Alright, I’ll head off to bed now too, goodnight Calum.”

“Night, Gab Gab.”

Gabriella starts walking out of Y/N’s room, turning back around before closing the door. “Oh, and Cal?”

“Yeah?”

“Get your girl back already.”

—

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