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icouldntcareless22 · 1 year

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The Deal (2)

Summary: She was officially failing in life and most importantly in university! With her grades hanging of the edge of a thread and tutors rejecting her left and right her only option is to make a deal with the devil a.k.a Kim Seungmin.A deal should always be fair. Your grades in exchange for Kim Seungmin's dream girl. Simple?...Right?!

Word Count: 35k

Slight enemies to lovers, idiots to lovers, slow burn, angst, fluff.

No warnings, some foul language.

AN: Finally it's here! Tumblr won't let me post it in one post, so I am forced to divide into two parts. Would you be interested in SKZ x Greek Mythology theme? Hope you enjoy!!!

Part 1

@lethallyprotected

Well it was time.

The holiday season.

The absurd seasonal drinks you were making all day confirmed that.

It was your last shift before taking off to your hometown and everyone on campus decided to pay you a visit today. You were running all around the place, making sugary sweet coffee and foamy milks until the smile was swiped off your face. It was the morning shift so that meant you were getting off at four. A quick glance told you it was 3:30 pm and the half hour that was left was pure torture.

But it passed.

At the end of your shift, you hung your apron to the back room and bid your coworkers and boss the appropriate Christmas wishes and temporary goodbyes. And you went straight home to start getting ready. You were calculating the time it would take you to get ready tomorrow morning and when should you leave to get there on time, when your phone interupting your train of thought.

You checked the id caller and saw Seungmin was calling you. Well, that was a surprise!

You slid your finger over the screen accepting it and exclaimed loudly "Puppy!"

"I told you not to call me that" he grumbled under his breath. "Where are you?"

You mentally checked before answering.

You didn't forget any lessons today.

And you didn't have any plans with him or the rest of them.

"On my way home" you replied carefully, voice so low that you doubted he was able to hear it.

A pause and then "Weren't you working today?"

"Yeah, my shift ended like 10 minutes ago" you snorted as you crossed the street.

"Oh.." he only said. But you could hear noise on the background like he was outside.

"Seungmin where are you?" You inquired, curious.

"At the coffee shop.." he replied, sounding defeated.

You laughed at that. "Why?!"

"I came by to drop one of your notebooks cause tomorrow you are leaving early" he hastily explained. It was true he had one of your notebooks, but it wasn't like it couldn't wait until after Christmas.

You bit your lip, unsure of what to say but opening your mouth all the same. "Well..I am going home you can.. swing by and leave it to me...If it isn't much trouble!"

"No, I will be there." he replied "You want anything from outside?"

"No, I am okay. I will..see you in ten" you replied.

"See ya in five" he said before hanging up.

You quickened your steps, almost fast walking to your house. You reached in no time and climbed the steps in a hurry. At first glance it didn't seem too bad, but it was in no state for visitors. So you began twirling, picking up whatever caught your eye first. You just finished tucking your bed when a knock sounded.

"Coming!"you said, rushing to the door and throwing it open to reveal a flushed from the cold Seungmin. He greeted you politely and entered your home, bringing along with him a plastic bag. You looked up and saw him fumbling.

"I..I thought that maybe we can watch that movie you said the other day.."he got out, not really looking you straight at the eyes.

You tucked your hair behind your ear, sending him a smile. "Sure! I would love to! Thanks for the snacks" You replied and took the bag from his hand.

You shoved him lightly towards your couch and made your way to the kitchen to plate the pop corn he brought. Only to feel him hover behind you. You threw a glance and there he was leaning against the kitchen table, in all his glory.

"What time are you leaving tomorrow?" He interjected.

"Around 9. The train leaves at 10 but we said with Yuqi to be there a little earlier" he hummed, clearly approving of your plans. "How about you?"

"I am leaving the day after tomorrow. We said with the guys to hang tomorrow evening" This time it was your turn to humm in approval. Some time out with his friends would do him good. He was way too couped up in his house.

"What are you doing for the holidays?" You wondered as you opened up a bottle of coke as well. The less your fridge had for the holidays the better. You still could recall the horrifying smell of the food that had gone bad while you were away visiting your family. Never again.

"Probably, I will just stay home. I talked with Jeongin- You don't know him.."he trailed off once he remembered.

"Baby faced with dimples?" You asked, reaching for the glasses.

He wordlessly nodded as he took a step closer and pulled them down for you.

"Thanks. I have seen him around"you confirmed, turning to him.

"Where?" He asked, doubtful.

"With you. Around the school. You know I see many people on a regular basis"you joked, recalling the faces that pasted through the store today and you shuddered.

"I guess. Anyways, we said that maybe... we can take a trip to go skiing" he said, absentmindedly as he grabbed the full plate and walked towards your couch. He set the plate down only to unravel your bed, which you had previously set. For a moment you stood there watching him in your space. He didn't ask where to sit like the first time. He had been here by now multiple times and you found yourself liking this intimacy. Him at your space.

When you didn't reply he turned towards you with one eyebrow raised. So you shook yourself out of the daydream you had and replied something like 'you will only hurt yourselves'

You quickly settled down beside him on your bed, searching for a calm movie to watch. Through a hasty search and your displeasure with the lack of good movies, you selected Lilo & Stitch, which you absolutely adored. You expected whines and arguments from your company, but only silent greeted you as the movie started. You looked over at him, only iluminated by your laptop's light and had an absurd thought.

You would miss him during the holidays.

The next morning you were running in the cold streets, alongside Yuqi. Running with all your might, although exhausting, managed to secure you spots on the second running train of the day. Your journey was calm and quickly you parted ways with Yuqi, strolling towards the opposite direction. Your dad and your grandparents welcomed you warmly into your house and all together you sat until the early evening simply catching up.

The rest two days you were spent in a relaxing state, you were simply sleeping and talking with your family. The third day you caught up with some old friends. Some you hadn't seen since forever, so it felt good to know they were doing well and some you still regularly contacted, so you were more aware of their news.

As you were walking back, your friends came in mind. What was Yuqi doing? Was Yuna well? Ryunjin got back safe from her trip to her boyfriend? How about Wooyoung and Jisung? Were they out there causing trouble? ...How about Seungmin?

You fumbled with your phone for a bit, before unlocking it. You strolled through your contacts before briefly stopping above his name.

You bit into your lower lip before locking your phone. You would be a bother. You didn't really talk the last days, besides the occasional meme you sent. It would be weird to call him all of a sudden, wouldn't it?

Your phone suddenly rang and you nearly jumped out of your skin. You quickly turned your phone over and a gasp left you. The screen displayed the name, that you couldn't bring yourself to call just now. You accepted the call straight away.

"Hey Y/N" he greeted quietly.

"Hey Seungmin"you shyly greeted back, unsure what to say now that you were on the line with him. "How have you been?"

"Good, good. My parents stuffed me with as much food as they could. I made plans with Jeongin this weekend as well."

"Mmm your ski trip. Sounds wonderful! My dad had a feast for me as well. I am just now returning from an outing with friends." You said as you walked further down the familiar street.

"Am I interrupting you?" He asked as the thought just dawned on him.

"No! No, I am just walking home. Actually I wanted to call too. I was wondering what you were up to" you shyly admitted, not knowing if it was okay for you to do that. Your nerves soon calmed at his response.

"Me too. I just stayed at home today. Watched a baseball game."

"Yeah, dad was watching too when I left" you giggled, amused to hear him grumble at his team defeat.

And so the calls continued for the next 2-3 days.

And one day calls turned into a video calls. He was only exploring the app and by chance called you, he said. You didn't complain, you just sat and humored him, but imagine your surprise when the video call invitation popped up.

Here you were today laying on your bed, trying to do math and you had mostly.. completed them, when you stumbled upon a problem you couldn't quite solve. So you decided, that a call to your tutor would be required. So here you were with your hair up and flying everywhere and your pjs on, contemplating to call or not. In the end you sat up, letting your hair down and combing them swiftly before making the call. You waited for a the first beep and then for the second and third and when you were about to hung up, the call was accepted.

It was a small comfort that he was in a similar state as you. Clearly in his sleepwear, hair messy enough to match your own and face pressed against his pillow. He seemed just as cuddly as the stuffed animals you had back in the days.

"Hey"you whispered into your screen.

"Hey"he replied, sounding sleepy.

"If I called at a bad time I can.." you trailed off, suddenly regretting your choice. You should have checked the time or send a message ahead.

"No, I was just watching a movie. What's up?" He sat up and stretched to get rid of the stiffness in his body.

"I was doing math and I am stuck on this one problem." You mumbled, embarrassed.

"Look at you! Doing your homework!" He chuckled, making you roll your eyes "Let me see" you shifted your camera towards the notebook on your bed. The explanation was brief and quite simple, much to your surprise, but instead of hanging up you ended chatting casually. Only when he made himself more comfortable on his bed, you saw the background. "Is that you on the photos?" You asked, trying to cran your neck to see better.

He paused for a moment before confirming your guesses with a nod.

"Can I see?" You interjected excitingly.

He slowly turned the camera towards his desk. A photo of him in a baseball suit adored your screen. He would be about ten,smiling brightly to the camera, or you guessed, his parents, proudly holding his bat. In the next he was in the arms of his parents, clearly celebrating his second birthday, judging by the number on that cake. And in the third he was in highschool on his sides Minho and the black haired boy that you vaguely recognized as Jeongin. He wasn't smiling full on the last one, a small smile adored his face.

"You were so cute!" You exclaimed, laughing. You couldn't see his face as he hadn't turned the camera yet but you knew he would be scoffing at you. "Don't you have more photos?"

"A few.." Short it was the reply and his tone anxious but that didn't fazed you in the slightest.

"Show me" you demanded, making yourself comfortable.

And so, he did show the few ones he had in his room. He even ventured into to his living room to show the bigger pictures his parents had hung up. Once again in the safety of his room, you were gussing over his photos

"You really were a beautiful child!"you teased him.

"Yeah. Right" he scoffed and paused for a bit. He met your stare through the camera and immediately lowered it as he softly spoke again. "You know my schoolmates used to tease me a lot. Not really bullying, but.. they would say-" he paused as if he said too much.

The cheery atmosphere shifted. His uncomfortable state wasn't something that sat right with you. It felt wrong to see such a level headed person being anxious over sharing his past experiences. You bit your lip, wondering if you should let it go or encourage him to talk to you. A look at his lowered head had you gently speaking words of encouragement. "If you wanna talk about it, I will listen"

He raised his head and looked at you. He was thinking hard about this, but after a good look at you, he signed and continued his story. "They would call me mouth-monster or ugly. I had braces when I was younger, as you saw." You had thought they were adorable. Why would they tease him about something as simple as this?

"They didn't really continued it for long. Only a couple of months. Maybe a year top. But..you know. Later, I learned Minho threatened them to stop. And who saw Minho and wasn't scared of him. I really own him one" He let out a humorless laugh.

He was trying to talk about it as if it didn't bother him, as if he was untouchable and it broke your heart a little. He was facing down again, not really looking at you so you coed him gently.

"That's why I went into the dentist care. I guess I wanted to help the kids that were like me. Maybe if I was told earlier I wouldn't have to wear them and-..." He looked at you from underneath his lashes. "Maybe if I had been told that I have a beautiful smile more often, it would have been better.. different"

You could only look at the boy in front of you, your heart breaking at his soft admission. He only wanted someone to tell him he's beautiful. And damn you, if you didn't!

"Seungmin I think you were beautiful as a child. And I think you are even more beautiful as an adult. You have a amazing smile and you are kind to talk about it as if they aren't the scum bags." That one got a laugh out of him. "Have you seen the comments on your Instagram? They were fighting over who got to have you" you joked, trying to lighten the mood.

And it worked as a flush was covering his face now and an embarrassing laugh left him. "But really shouldn't think that about yourself. You are wonderful and you should see yourself as that. You only have yourself in this lifetime. Treasure yourself, Minnie"

He looked as if he would cry for a moment, but then he smiled at you. That smile at the photo, the mega watt full smile that lit up his whole face. You couldn't keep a smile off your own face.

"My eyes! I am blinded by beauty!" You cried and flang yourself out of the screen.

"Y/N!!" Giggles left your phone, showing Seungmin also yeeting himself out of the screen. You layed down and brought the phone closer to your face. He mimicked your stance and the conversation flowed down on more easy paths.

"Don't you have your own home?!" You asked incredulously as your video call was answered once again by none othe than Jeongin himself.

"I can say the same for you, Noona! Don't you have other..friends to call?" He said with a pause full of meaning, his foxy eyes almost staring you down. You felt the blood rush to your face at his words and sure enough you were red.

"Seungmin!" You called again in hopes of catching his attention.

"Mmm" he mumbled mid bite, his mouth and fingers stained from the chips he was munching on. He briefly looked over to you before returning his gaze back to the screen.

"Did you really call me to watch Brooklyn 99 together?" You asked, amused by the boy with the stuffed cheeks in your screen.

"Yeah! Now shhhh! We're missing the best part!" He whined, pointing to the tv you couldn't see.

You laughed at him but turned on your laptop and went with it.

The morning air was biting you in the ass.

The crispy winter morning wasn't tolerable at all and if only your dad didn't drug you here for your morning holiday tradition, you would be happily sleeping away the cold. But here you were with a basket on your hands and trailing behind him, half awake.

"What gift should we buy for grandma and grandpa?" He wondered as he inspected a pink wooly shawl.

"Probably something for the winter would be good. You know they get cold easily." You thought out loud, inspecting the shawl as well. It seemed warm and you adored the color.

"Should we?" He asked back just as unsure. Your grandparents never asked for anything for the holidays. They always accepted their gifts, whatever they were, with a smile and the familiar line of 'it was exactly what I wanted'. You snorted to yourself, they were too nice to tell you that you weren't cut out for gift buying.

Suddenly as you rounded an other corner of the market, a stall caught your attention. The stall was full of baseball merchandise. But what caught your attention was a cap. It had the SK Wyverns logo on it and it was a nice shade of dark blue. For some reason, you saw it and immediately thought of Seungmin and how well it would fit him.

You didn't know you stopped walking until you heard your dad calling you. You snapped your head towards him, sheepishly and turned your attention back on the cap. You called the shop owner over and asked for a prize. It was a reasonable price, that's why you were buying it. Besides you had bought some gifts for the others, it would sadden him not to receive anything.

Your dad was quiet during the whole exchange, but you felt him figgeting beside you and working his courage to speak up. You wish he wouldn't.

"So who is the lucky guy

But he did.

"No one, just my friend."

"Hmm. You have a friend"

"Daaaad!" you whined, clearly not wanting to continue talking about it. But the old man paid you no mind and continued his 'investigation'.

"So when did you meet?"

You let out a breath. He wasn't letting it go. "He is my tutor. We met in the beginning on the semester. I was failing and-"

"You are failing?" He asked shocked. He turned towards you, alarmed and worried.

"I WAS falling. Keep up, dad. Seungmin helped me raise my grades back up."

He wasn't in a good state to hear anything right now "Honey we have talked about this. If you are having troubles with school, you tell me. I know you said you wanna work but if this is too much for you.. You don't have to work-"

"I have to work. How else can I support myself?" you cut him off, facing forward. You had strayed from the market paths and you were now walking to your truck.

"Excuse me? You say that as if I don't support you! Y/N we said that, if it compromise with your studies you would -"

"You said! I didn't said anything!" You talked back, already feeling the blood rushing to your head.

"Y/N!" He roared, taking you by surprise. Dad never yelled. He must be extremely furious to raise his tone like that. But right at this moment you couldn't force yourself to care, as you were in a similar state. "Do you have to be that damn stubborn all the time! We have talked about this! I didn't agree to you working in the first place! You-! Ugh! You still did! But! But this! This is taking things too far!" He spit on your face, his face growing redder and redder by the minute.

"You can barely manage here! How can you manage me too?!"you were both shouting at this point, anger taking over.

He took a step away from you, breathing heavily from his nose. You did the same catching your breath, your eyes were misty and you hated that. So you turned to the truck you had unconsciously reached, placed your things inside and stepped back. You turned to your father, who was stomping his way to the driver's seat and told him sharply "I will go and see if I can buy something for grandma and grandpa. I will see you at home"

You didn't expect an answer, you simply closed the door (albeit with a little more force than necessary) and disappeared into the crowd.

You wandered quite a bit, passed stalls and merchants as they shouted loudly to be heard over the others. You stopped in a few stalls to inspect some things that catch your fancy, but with your temples throbbing and your teeth still gritted on anger, you couldn't appreciate them right. So you wandered aimlessly across the market some more, until you grew tired and cold. You knew a place, where they sell the most amazing hot chocolate you've ever tasted and it was near the market so you headed there. It was a small shop, colours of yellow, green and white blended all together to create a childlike atmosphere that seemed to make you lighter when you headed in. You ordered your hot chocolate and sat at the window, trying to calm down.

Theoretically, you knew that your dad cared for you and that's why he told you to quit and pay attention only to school, but he would't be able to afford to pay for everything. You wanted to be able to go out and party with your friends without worrying if the money would be enough. You wanted to lighten the amount of rent your dad paid and help him around the house too. Help with your grandparents' meds and expenses too.

You signed and took out your phone to check the hour. 11:45 pm. It was still early for your next bus.

You unlocked your phone and played with it for a bit, before checking your messages. Yuqi and Yuna had replied to your last message and you had been sent memes by Wooyoung and.. Seungmin? You opened the message and saw it was a mathematical meme. Classic Seungmin. You laughed and called his number before realizing. When he answered after the first beep, you were shook out of your stupor.

"Hello?" He called "Y/N?"

"Hey. Yeah, it's me" you whispered shallowly. Why did you even call?

"What's up?" He asked.

"Nothing.. Nothing much! I just..wanted to chat" you said, not really knowing what to say. "Sorry I didn't know you were busy. I will talk-"

"It's okay. We just arrived with Jeongin to the rooms and we would take a rest anyway."

"Ohh right. You went skiing this weekend. How is it?" You asked as you nursered the rest of your chocolate.

"It's nice! The snow is thick enough so we can go skiing tomorrow" he exclaimed, clearly excited to slide through the snow and down the hill.

"Tell Jeongin to take videos of you falling. I need something to laugh at" you teased him lightly, still watching the busy market out of the window.

"..Y/N? Are you okay?" He asked quietly, probably sensing you weren't in the best mood. After months together when you didn't talk his ear off it was a red flag, you supposed.

"Mmm. Everything's fine" you replied.

Silence greeted you on the other side of the line and then. "If you wanna talk about it, I will listen"

A snort left you. "Gosh, I hate when you throw my words back to me" He laughed along with you trying to lighten up your mood. "Annoying isn't it?"he asked, still laughing.

"Yeah..it is" you paused briefly, but the need to tell him made you open your mouth again. "I had a fight with my dad." It was quiet for a moment, only the rustle of the bed as he sit up was heard.

"About?" He wondered.

"He found out that I was doing bad at math. He said to stop working and focus on school." You played with your cup, twirling it around in your now warm hands. People were slowly filling the store, but the seats around you remained empty.

"Okay" he dragged the word, trying to select his words carefully "And why did you fight?"

"It's just...money is tight, dad is struggling to make meet's end and pay for my grandparents' expenses. I am on scholarship and if I fail, it would only be more money-" you couldn't complete your sentence as tears choked you up.

Gosh you hated this.

You didn't like to cry. And there you stood, in a crowded shop, your only company your phone with tears streaking down your face.

He on the other line was panicking, never heard you cry this easily before. "Hey! Hey! Don't cry! Take a big breath for me."

And you listened to his instruction. You gulped as much air as you you could "Good. Good. Take more breaths for me" he coaxed you.

Breath in.

Breath out.

You continued breathing, calming yourself enough.

"Ok?" He asked, uncertain.

"Yeah..I just.. don't wanna be a burden to him. I wanna help. If I have a job that means one less worry for him. It isn't easy, I don't want to work all the time. I wanna have fun but I can't be a burden to him, Seungmin." you sniffled. It was as simple as that.

"You are not a burden-" he started, but you cut him off ready to go at it.

"I am! I am a burden to you too! I made you agree to this deal! I had a lot to win, you didn't. I am burdening you-" you swallowed back a sob. Your throat was clogging up again and some costumers where starting looking your way.

"Y/N. You are not a burden. Don't say that" he pleaded, starting to sound upset as well.

You paused, gathering your thoughts, trying to explain to him in a more effective way.

"You asked me before why I was in marketing... It's always needed. You always need to sell a product. If you always need to sell, I would always be needed, so I will always have a job and income" you quietly said.

You were simple really. You were a little greedy, a little chatty and sometimes over confident for no good reason.

"Y/N listen to me. You are not a burden. You knew how to make a deal. You gave me a solution. If you were cruel about it, you could have told everyone but you didn't. You care about your father and don't want to weight him down. You are working hard and at your own expense, you are struggling. You are a good daughter and a good friend. And for what matters, I am glad I met you. You encourage me to try new things, that I wouldn't dare to try. I don't want you to think bad of yourself." He instructed you. He made everything you did sound like a noble act, it couldn't be so far from it.

You moved the phone slightly away from your face and sniffled quietly. A new bunch of tears were wetting your face, sobs racked your body and at this point you were panting for breath. He had really moved you. And even though you knew he was saying some of those things because you were a little sad, you decided to enjoy the comfort and question yourself later. It made you feel a little better all the same.

"Thank you" you got out.

"Your welcome." He replied right away "Y/N can you take some more breaths for me please? Where are you now?" He asked. Was he concerned? He sounded frustrated enough and like he was pacing up and down on his room.

"Out. We came to the market with dad. He..left but I have a little more shopping to do." You sheepishly replied, leaving the walking away from the car incident out of the conversation. You already over shared.

"You should head home and talk with your dad. And call me after. Okay?" The pacing had seized and a loud thud was heard maybe as he landed on the bed.

"Okay.." you said slowly, now more in control of your breathing "You sent me pictures of your trip, okay?" It would be wonderful to see something as pretty as the snowy mountain.

"Okay" he mumbled more quietly now, as if he was being heard. Maybe Jeongin come in. "Talk to you later" he said and you half- heartly bid him goodbye.

The ride home was a long one. You thought over and over what to say to your dad. You were a bit cruel and you exaggerated a lot. An apology should be the first thing that leaves your mouth, you concluded.

As you neared the door, it flew open revealing your very worried dad. He looked trousled, his hair (or whatever was left of it anyway) was messy as if he run his hands relentlessly, his face was flushed as he was crying.

"Dad what-?" Was all you managed to get out, before you were cradled into his arms. He didn't talk, just squeezed you harder. A sound like a sniffle was heard and just as you made to question it, you were drugged on the inside.

"Dad?"you questioned, standing still. He was pacing back and forth now right in front of you in the middle of your living room. "Dad!" You exclaimed successfully catching his attention. "I am sorry"

He looked at you before engulfing you between his arms again. "No, baby. I am sorry" And with that sentence it was like he opened up the gates and tears welled up in your face.

"I didn't want to be a burden! You have so- so much going on h-here! And! And I was t-trying to do w-what I can on my own" you sobbed. Your nose was blocked and your voice wobbled as you tried to get the point across.

Just then hands cradled your face making you meet his eyes. "Baby..you are not a burden. It is my duty as your father to provide for you. You don't have to think about money all the time. I am here for you"

Hearing those words you broke down again in the safety of his arms, your troubles seemed so little and insignificant. For now you could be a little vulnerable and less tough.

Hours later, you were freshly bathed and in bed, ready to go to sleep when your phone rang. You reached over to your desk to grab it. Only to see a familiar name flashing across your screen.

"Hey Minnie" you whispered.

"Hey.. how are you? You.. didn't call so I... yeah" It was quiet on his end, he should be in his room by now, tired from the day's activities but he still made the effort to call you. You felt grateful you had met such good people.

"I am good. We talked about everything. Maybe I will cut back a few days to relax and study a bit more." You said as you cuddled into the bed, the emotional day finally catching up with you. You felt your eyes drop, but you willed them to open up again.

"That's good. You should rest more. You deserve it" he replied back, tone gentle. You weren't used to hearing him like that. Sweet and gentle.

"Seungmin.. thank you. It means a lot to me that you called"you said quietly. Hoping you weren't dumping much on him.

Quiet was all you heard through the line for a bit and then "I wanted too. I wanted to comfort you as you did to me the other day. I don't talk much about that time and it felt.. good...that the first thing you said to me about that period ,where I was not in a good state..it was that my smile was shinning"

You smiled. For some reason, hearing you made him feel lighter and happy made you lighter in return. It always did for some reason. All the times that he did things out of his comfort zone, all the times he followed along with your schemes, everytime he smiled at you and comforted you. You liked it..

You liked him.

You blinked twice at the sudden though. You liked him?

Your first thought about the guy was that he was way too stuck up and insufferable to get along with. Where did all this came from? Maybe from all the times he cared, when you twisted your leg, when he cared for you when you were drunk, when you silently sat at your home and watched dramas, when he came by the coffee shop to sit with you.

Ohh. You were officially fucked.

"Y/N?"

His voice pulled you out of your daydream. Face completely flushed at this point, lips bitten to shreds and eyes wide you only could stare at your phone.

"Y-Yeah! I-I was looking for my charger! This thing always runs out of battery" you explained, thankful for once for your ability to lie easily.

"Maybe if you didn't spent all of your day on your phone the battery would be okay" he teased, trying to get a reaction out of you. And he got it

"Hey!" you whined loudly to your speaker. But the only response was his giggles, that warmed your heart a little more. Suddenly you didn't want to got off the phone, you want to hear him speak idly about his day and poke fun at you. So you asked just that and as if he was thinking the same he eagerly spoke.. It was well into the morning when you hang up, your heart lighter than ever and a silly smile plastered onto your face, even in sleep.

Fifteen days passed before you could even blink.

The cheery homey atmosphere at home, the meetings with your friends and the calls with Seungmin filled your day to the brim.

Yesterday was the first shift of the year. It was lovely to see all your coworkers and friends together again. Your boss, being the generous woman that she was, had prepared gifts for everyone. You had been gifted a black ribbon that served as a hair tie. It was adorable. And a discreet reminder to tie your hair during work hours.

your hair during work hours.

Now you stood before the library, waiting at your usual spot for Seungmin, with your own gift in your hands. The cap was nothing much and you were sure it wasn't even original, but along with the pair of blue mittens and a scarf, you hoped they were enough.

You eyed the people coming.

No sign of Seungmin yet.

A quick glance at your phone told you, it was a minute past your agreed time so you would let it slide. You busied yourself by replying to some texts from Hong Joong and Ryunjin, when you felt a presence behind you. With a quick glance, you found yourself looking straight into a pair of chocolate eyes.

You yelped from the surprise and the closeness. "Kim Seungmin!" You barked, hands coming to clutch your heart. Furious giggles greeted you in return. You looked up to see him, the two weeks apart treated him good. He seemed refreshed and lively, who knows what kind of mischief he had caused along with Jeongin. You instinctively reached up and slapped away his hand, that was covering his smile. He didn't dodge your efforts, letting himself be hit.

"Hello" he said when his giggles seized.

"Hi"you got out.

He looked even cuter on person, was your first thought. You mentally slapped yourself. Come on Y/N! You have known him since October! You were together almost every day since mid October! Those were the rose tinted glasses people talked about. "How was your break?"

"As you don't know" he said, rolling his eyes. "We have been talking almost everyday" he quoted and starting walking towards the double doors of the library.

"Wait!" You yelped, clutching nervously his gift. You were beginning to sweat purposefully and you felt way beyond yourself. "I...um..I got you this!" You thrusted the cute bag in front of you, body all stiff.

He cocked his head to the side and walked over to where you stood. Gingerly he reached for the bag, opening it gently as you would take it away from him. Slowly a smile spread on his face, he looked up briefly to you and then down again on his gift. He took it out and wore it, with a proud smile on his face. "How do I look?" He asked, turning his head from right to left so you can see him from all the possible angles.

"Adorable" you teased, now at ease. Blue suited him, you thought and you told him so, your words bringing a pretty flush on his ears. He then cleared his throat and began searching in his backpack. After a beat, his hands come up clutching a small white bag. With a embarrassed smile, he extended the bag to you.

"I guess we had the same thought" he explained, looking over your head before fleetingly meeting your eyes. You felt a warm feeling spreading over your body as you gazed from him to your gift. You sent a big toothy smile his way before taking the bag and taking a look inside. Inside the bag sat a smaller bag made of tulle, which contained the most beautiful pair of earrings you had seen. A dangly thing it was. A single pink cherry blossom sat, where you supposed your lobe would be and from it three almost invisible chains ran down, petals sprinkled over the chains. You loved them.

"Thank you Seungmin. I love it" you said, tucking it safely back into the box.

He smiled at you and shaked his head. "It just reminded me of you. Shall we?"he asked, pointing at the building behind you.

"We shall" you answered.

The next few days were a dream.

You all came back, hang out, had multiple night outs and had been having a blast.

You hadn't noticed how Seungmin had warmed himself up in your daily routine. You met almost daily, his friends always lurked around the cafe, either because they were working in it (insert Jisung) either because they enjoyed the place. You had officially met Jeongin, who you always chatted with on your video chats with Seungmin, but never actually met. He was a sweetheart and always ready to mercilessly tease the grumpy boy.

But, unfortunately, you were not the only ones that reconnected. Soojin and Seungmin reconnected. And they reconnected really good.They had been actively hanging out. Mainly on the cafe, occasionally out of it. You saw their stories and how they discussed where they would be going.

And you were seething.

You wondered all those past months.. how did you manage to stand this? Not only you had to watch them on your shifts, you had Seungmin telling you all about his conversations with her. On the past you had no problem, now things were...a little different. But you hadn't had the heart to tell him to stop talking. You always wanted to hear him talk about things that made him excited, even this.

Today though was your day though.

You had a new series you wanted to watch. You had prepared masks and facials you had been dying to try out. As you searched through the fridge you realized. You had forgotten the beer. Usually your fridge was fully stocked and ready to serve, but a certain non drinker (as he had called himself) had been through 5 cans of beer the last time he was here leaving you dry. As you were contemplating running a quick errand to the market down the street, your phone rung. You checked the caller, seeing exactly what you wanted.

"Seungmin! Perfect timing! We ran out of beer. Can you get some on your way here?" You asked as you filled up the bowl with your favourite barbeque pop corn.

"Y/N...I hate to do this but do you think we can .. reschedule?"he said, tone slightly off.

You assumed the worst. Seungmin was nothing if not punctual.

"Are you okay? Do you feel alright? Did something happened with Minho or Jeongin?"you stressed, hands immediately flying up to trousle your tresses.

"No! No, I.. had made plans with Soojin and I kinda mixed the days"he said, carefully.

Oh.

Of course he would prefer to spend his night with Soojin than you. You bit your lip, unsure what to do. Of course you minded. Not only it was the second time he did that to you, it was for the same person as well. But you couldn't exactly tell him that, could you? "No..I.. don't mind. Have fun" you slowly said, voice void of emotion in order not to betray your true one.

For a moment you thought that he would question you about your tone and your robotic manner, but he eventually signed. "I will make it up to you. I swear" he said.

You hummed and muttered a simple goodbye. Energy suddenly drained and with your mood bungee jumping through the floor, you decided a wine or a beer would be definitely needed after all. So you grumpily grabbed your coat and your old sneakers making a bee line to the store. You entered, greeted the cashier and taking your familiar basket to browse the selves for anything that caught your fancy. You had a couple chocolate bars in it and you were standing in front of the fridge with the alcohol when the sound of your name being called grabbed your attention.

Turning your head, you met with a two coloured head and a bright smile.

Hong Joong.

You smiled and waved him over.

"I haven't seen you since before the holidays!" He exclaimed as a greeting, crushing you into a bear hug.

"Happy New Year Joongie!" You giggled, as you took a step back. His stare fell from your face to your basket to the fridge you were currently standing in front of.

"Not so happy right now, is it?" He asked knowingly. A grimace overtook your face, not being able to lie, you nodded.

"I admit it could have gone better" you signed and then asked, half turned to him, half scanning the alcohol. "Did you finish your project?"

"Yeah! We still have a check over left, but it was all smooth sailing" he laughed, clearly at ease. You envied him. Especially now, that the exams were looming over your head with the threat of expulsion. And there was the thing with Seungmin. You know the recently discovered and one sided feelings you had for him. Your thoughts must have manifested on your face because soon he was asking what's wrong.

"My friend, to tell the story it would take a long time and alcohol" you preached, eyeing the strawberry flavored soju bottle.

"I got time" he announced, making you turn at him. You raised your eyebrows and he nodded.

"In that case what kind of soju flavor do you prefer?" You required.

After a few hours later and some (a lot) of drinks later you were okay. Your second tutor became the first one to learn of your feelings for your third one. Ironic. But Hong Joong had a calmness that made you feel perfectly at ease telling him that. He had adviced you to go for it and he had admitted he thought you guys were already dating. You had snorted at this.

You wished.

But Hong Joong was wrong. He had been right about Seungmin curling himself up and begging for mercy as he did that the very next morning. But he hadn't seen coming the next rejections.

Three weeks in and Seungmin had cancelled on you 5 times. Soojin this, Soojin that. You had grown tired of hearing how great the girl was. Not to mention insecure. She was pretty, nice, kind. What hasn't she had? And do you have?

You tried to drown your feelings and feigned empathy towards the sudden cancellations and ruined plans. But you felt heavier with every ruined outing or night in. Those 5 times were enough for your eyes to shine maliciously green. You were beyond yourself jealous and you didn't know what to do and how to act before Seungmin anymore. Maybe a little more distance would do you good, maybe you could salvage a little of your heart. Yeah, a little distance is good.

And apparently you must wear your heart on your sleeves because Seungmin caught right on. He apologized about the plans alright, but now every time you made plans you would find an excuse to avoid him. You had to go shopping with Yuqi or you had agreed to meet with Hong Joong and you couldn't cancel last minute. You even tried to cut down on your study time and that's when he knew that something was definitely wrong, after all exams were a mere 3 weeks away and you needed that time.

Ηe stepped up then.

That's why today you waiting for him in your house, practically vibrating with nervous energy. He seemed on guard when he called you. Almost awkward. But then he probably mimicked your own behavior. Your lips were bitten to shreds and your nails bloody by the time the doorbell rung. You gulped down as much air as you could and you opened the door.

And there he stood.

The cap you had gifted him on his head, black puffer jacket engulfing him and with an adorable flush on his cheeks, probably from the cold. You took a step back, inviting him in silently. He made his way into your home, now the surroundings familiar to him and plopped down to your couch. He cocked his head to the empty side of the couch, silently asking you to seat.

You made your way to him and before you could even sit on the couch, he started the interogation.

"What is going on?" He asked, always his straightforward and level headed self.

Truth or lie, that is the question. But right now lying seemed like your only ally. "What do you mean?" You asked carefully.

"I mean you are avoiding me. You are cancelling our plans. You even wanted to cancel the lessons!" His voice was steady, raising slightly at the end, making you feel even worse for a moment. And then you remembered the scene of them sitting together at the cafe, the phone call to cancel your plans and the words flew out of your mouth without your consent.

"Like you didn't do the same" you returned, a scoff leaving you.

His eyes widen at the mockery that was present in your voice, but they quickly changed, they seemed like steel now. "I cancelled on you once" he reasoned, hands coming together to grip each other tightly. "Only once"

"No, you cancelled after we already made plans once. You had been pushing around the dates that we planned and the hangouts 5 times at least! I guess that happens when you get a girlfriend" you commented, lips pulled back in a snarl, your face an menacing grimace now.

"Ohh so you can hang out with Hong Joong, but I can't hangout with Soojin" he chided, tone ice cold.

"Don't compare the two. It's totally different" you reasoned, frustration causing your voice to raise. You turned to face him fully on the couch now, he seemed as agitated as you felt. "Besides I hanged out with Hong Joong the times that you left me stranded" you spat.

He flinched at that. Head hanging low for a beat and then raising again, ready for a duel. "I like Soojin that's why I am hanging out with her. You were supposed to be happy for me. That was the deal"

It was your time to flinch at that. That was a low blow, even though he didn't know. "So why don't you go now to her?" You bitterly asked, looking away.

He sat silent for a moment. Staring at his hands. When his voice shattered the silence.

"I will confess tomorrow. That's what I wanted to tell you" he breathed, twisting his hands nervously at the thought, letting his guard down for a second.

Your heart plummeted in response to those words. It felt like an invisible hand went through your chest, grabbing your poor heart with its only purpose to rip her right out.

Your vision that stayed nailed to the faded corner of your coffee table started blurring little by little, like you were looking at the world through mist eyed lenses. You closed your eyes not wanting to let the tears escape and betray the deviation you were felling inside right at this moment.

"I guess the deal is over.. But I..I will see you around Y/N." He smiled an odd uncomfortable smile that showed the confusion he was feeling, and even though not a word come out of your mouth, he got up, gathered his things, walked to the front door and left.

Upon hearing the sound of the door closing the tears that you tried so hard to keep, were now slowly dripping down your face. Your mouth was trembling, lifting and dropping, as if it couldn't decide what expression to keep to express your sorrow better. Even breathing was more difficult now, due to the blockage in your nose. But all that wasn't what was important right now.

You were losing him.You had lost him before having a chance to tell him how you feel.

Suddenly you weren't on the sofa anymore, you were up and running. Running after him. You flew out of the door and raced towards the stairs, you didn't have time to wait for the elevator to arrive, instead you headed to the stairs. When you reached the entrance your breath was unstable and the place under your ribs hurting from the sudden work out but you paid them mo mind. You run outside, turning your head left and right trying to locate his disappearing figure. There! There he was! By the end of the street, a lone figure, coat clad and on top of his head sat a very familiar cap. Your gift to him specifically.

"SEUNGMIN!" You yelled with all your might. He heard your panicked call and turned towards you. But before he could take a step to your direction, you were already running. Running before time caught up with you.

You reached him, panting from the rally. He looked beautiful. In the middle of the street, lights hitting him just right to appear ethereal, his hoodie and black thick coat made him appear warm in the cold winter night, almost like a beacon, calling you closer. His capped head cocked slightly to his right made him more adorable as he waited for you to breath normally and tell him why you chased after him.

"I like you" you blurted out incapable of controlling your feelings anymore. "I like the way you always scold me when I do the wrong thing so I can try harder, l like when even though you pretend to be cold you are always so considerate, I like how you are always so adamant to be right and react so adorable when things don't go your way, I like how passionate you are. I like how we can be silent and watch stupid shows together. I like how you sent me every little thing you thing it's cute so you can share it with me. I like how easy are to get with, contrary to first opinions. I like how I am with you. I like who I am because of you. I like you Kim Seungmin" Tears were still filling your vision, you could now see your breath in front of you in the darkness of the night but you didn't care. You needed to tell him, you had told him and right then you felt so light like you could float away.

One look in his wide eyes though, told you that maybe you should fly away, flew the scene and most devastating of all something told you that maybe you couldn't have your chance after all.

"Y-Y/N I..I-" he tried getting out and your whole world tumbled down. "I don't know- I am not sure if I feel the same-" he could have stabbed your heart and it would hurt less than what you were feeling right now.

He doesn't know.

A new set of tears came to your eyes, but this time you were incapable of holding them in. A sob was clawing it's way out of your throat, only escaping a mere second before you slapped your hand over your mouth in order to keep it in.

"Y/N!" He exclaimed, taking a step towards you, hand raised as if to wipe your tears away, but your shaken step back stopped him. You shook your head as you took another step back. He didn't want you. Even though you told him everything.. he didn't want you. You turned around and blindly runned.

"Y/N!!Y/N wait!" He shouted after you.

Nothing stopped you though.

He didn't stop you.

An excruciating pain clawed at your chest making you blind to anything except your inner turmoil. You reached your apartment door in a pained haze, bursted in and let your sobs take over. Painful sob after painful sob racked you, making you unable to comprehend anything around you. You didn't know how much time you spent there against your front door, crying your heart out. All you knew was that you were light headed, your ears were ringing and your grip over the world was slipping.

It was exactly as you feared.

You had told him and you weren't enough to keep him.

You weren't everything he wanted.

You weren't good enough to love.

You would never be good enough.

You picked yourself up from the floor, took the remaining steps towards the sofa and slumped over it. You hadn't enough strength to fight the oblivion from taking over. The last image your mind concurred was of Seungmin-wide eyed in reaction to your confession and tears slipped down your eyes again as you finally slipped into the oblivion.

After that night you had made it your mission to avoid him at all costs.

Your shame and pettiness didn't allow anything less than that.

You had blocked both his number and his instagram, which you had crafted slowly together.

Seungmin had made several attempts to contact you ever since that night. He had come by your workplace as he had deemed the phone useless by now but you had taken a couple days off work. Not wanting to worry your father with an unexpected surprise and not wanting to be alone in your apartment, you had crashed at Yuqi's for a few days, hoping your dramatic ass wasn't too much for her. Her roommate Soyeon rolled her eyes at you for crying over a boy but joined your pity party anyways, not able to resist pizza.

With exams drawing near, you unfortunately had to study. Looking at your notebooks and books filled with Seungmin's neat handwriting you felt like they mocked you. But you had to get through this, for this stupid scholarship you made the deal, for this you broke your heart.

Eventually you had to get back to work. Your days went smoothly, you ticked in, greeted your regulars, small talked with Jisung and now you were on the front on cashier's duty. You heard the door opening and you opened your mouth automatically to greet the customer, but the sight in front of you left your mouth dry. Seungmin bursted through the door, panting as he made a bee line straight to you. He came with such strength that he collided against the counter. He looked wild, hair a mess and clothes hastily put on.

"Y/N! Where- Nevermind! I need to talk to you." He got out, hands inching over the counter to reach you.

But you took a step back and with a tone as cold as you could muster you stated "I don't have anything to talk about with you" You could do this. You spent enough days crying over him. You wouldn't cry anymore.

"Please! I have to tel-"

"Seungmin." You cut him off, staring him dead in the eye. His desperate appearance and big eyes made you crumble a little inside. "I said everything I had to say. You gave me your answer. We have nothing to talk about"

"No you don't understand. I-" he rushed his words in order to get something across, but to his bad luck and to your good one, a customer cut your conversation short.

"Excuse me? Can I order?" A unfamiliar face inquired.

"Yes, of course." You called over Seungmin's shoulder before turning to him "If you excuse me, I have work to do" you ushered him gently to the side and tried to pay him no mind.

Seungmin had made several other attempts to contact you.

You still avoided him as much as you could, but it was a bit difficult when he stood there looking at you. You tried to not talk to him while he tried to corner you. You had instructed Ryunjin to not let him near you. You would break if you did. Even now the sad looks were getting to you.

This thing was going on for a week and a half. You hadn't spoken to each other seven days now if you included the small talk by the cashier the other day. You weren't ready to hear him, you weren't ready for him to tell you that he was together and happy with Soojin while you were over here, green with envy and with a large challenge in front of you.

Exams were starting.

You weren't even there, neither mentally nor emotionally. But you had to fight it. Your scholarship depended on it.

Fake it till you make it.

So fake it tou did. You forced yourself to work on your studies. In the mist of it all, little notes had been finding their way into your things.

Don't forget the formula!

Keep on working hard!

Hope we can talk..

You had a pretty good idea on who was the writer.

And it pained you greatly. Why was he going through all this trouble. You had gotten his message and while he was being nice trying to make sure you were alright, you would rather he wouldn't. He was making this too hard on you.

He had Soojin now. All was good, right?

The truth was you hadn't seen him with Soojin,not once. The girl's visits were few now, that she had started on her finals (earlier as all the art students did), but when she appeared she had gifted you a knowing smile. A secret only she knew apparently, because you had no idea why she was looking at you like that. You didn't pointed that out, in fact you hadn't looked at her that much.

And exams rolled in.

The first three subjects were a success.. Of course you couldn't escape the dread that filled you everytime you sat behind the desk, but you had managed alright. It was manageable till now, but the big threats (maths and physics, you couldn't even utter their names!) had yet to come.

You had picked up less hours at the cafe in order to prepare yourself. You were a tutor down yet again, albeit this time a little more painful.

And finally the d-day arrived. You raised your head, shoulders pulled back.

Pens? Check.

Pencils? Check.

Water? Check.

Student ID? Check.

Note from Seungmin?... Check

The little yellow note was safely tucked in your pocket last minut,e because you couldn't bear to part with it. He had sticked to your front door last night, you showed it when you came over from work and it had moved you to tears. Gosh, you were such a crybaby now!

You knew that your conversation was long overdue. Three weeks have already passed and even though you wanted to, you couldn't bring yourself to.

But that was a problem that future Y/N had to deal with.

Now you needed your head in the game.

You had maths to do, you thought as you marched to your possible doom.

You had passed!

The endless hours, the blood, the sweat and the tears you had spilled were all worth it. Admittedly you had made it barely, but you had made it! You had made an exceptional progress on physics too, acquiring a better grade than you originally thought you would.

You were beyond happy and your immediately thought was of your beloved tutor. You should contact him, firstly to thank him and secondly for a conversation you had apparently left in the middle, what was left to say was beyond you.

You were playing with your phone currently, the contract named Puppy open and ready to be called. You bit your lips, your finger hovering above the button when a voice stopped you on your track.

Soojin.

"Hello Y/N" she pleasantly greeted, an ever lasting smile on her face.

"Soojin, hi. The usual?" You asked, not in the mood for pleasantries. You had already turned your back to the girl to make her coffee.

"To go, please" she called sweetly to you, getting a sharp nod in response. "How is Seungmin?" she asked, voice still dripping honey. You froze. While you didn't know Soojin that well, you didn't think she was the type to gloat in your face about her winning Seungmin's heart. You appeared to be wrong again.

"How should I know? Shouldn't I be asking you that?" You returned coldly, trying to hold yourself back. You were at work, you wouldn't be caught fighting like a 6-year-old for a doll you both wanted. Not that Seungmin was a price to be had. He was just as pretty as a doll thought.

"Ahh, you still didn't talk with him" she signed. You turned to place her drink of choice on the counter, ready for her to be gone. "Why are you avoiding him?" She said, head cocked to the right, making her seem all too innocent for your liking.

You almost scoffed "I don't think this is any of your business" you answered while you took her card to ring up her order.

For the first time her face turned sour and a determinated pout appeared on her face "Well I am making it my own goddamn business. We talked with Seungmin. We made everything clear. He likes you and I like Eric" she answered, sassiness dripping from her tongue this time.

What?

"What?" You voiced out loud, shock obvious on your face. Seungmin did what?

"Yeah, you know tall, blonde and handsome?" She quoted, raising her hand a ridiculous amount above her head to indicate Eric's height.

"I know how Eric is! I told him what drink you like for god's shake!" You exclaimed, teeth grinding together.

She looked like the cat who got the milk as she thanked you for that. You blinked.

"I don't understand. You and Seungmin went on so many dates" you mumbled.

She looked quite guilty this time "I already apologized to Seungmin about that. I was trying to...make Eric jealous" she admitted, her eyes focused, all of a sudden, on the coffee in her grasp.

"The photography exhibition?" You asked, dazed.

"Eric was managing a tent there" she whispered, head low.

"The movies?" You insisted.

"A girl from Computer Science had invited him! Gosh, how much I don't like her! She always made heart eyes at him!" She scoffed, sounding much like you when you cursed her in your head.

You felt your jaw slagging, mouth open whole you stared at her. Really? Seungmin liked you?

She glanced at you, seeing how you were taking it all in. "He told me he thought that he liked me. When I asked him what did he meant by 'he thought', he explained the deal to me. He seemed so happy when he talked about you, content." She smiled at you, that knowing smile she had been sending lately. "When I asked him if he perhaps liked you, he blinked and nodded. He even apologized!" She giggled and you joined too. Socially awkward and adorable as always. "He cares about you. And I think you should talk to him, Y/N" she finished.

You nodded, still dazed from all the information. She saluted you silently and walked out the door.

What Soojin said stayed with you. You weren't sure if she was being truthful or not, but you had already decided to contact him, you reasoned with yourself. At least that's what you told yourself as you send the message at 10 p.m.

You had fully expected to be left on read for days maybe even to beg him him for a small talk, so the immediate response, needless to say, surprised you. The answer left you at a total loss.

You immediately tensed up. You hadn't expected him to rush here that late. But better now than never, you guessed.

Not even twenty minutes later, there was knocking on your front door. You took a deep breath and opened your door.

And there he stood. He was panting, as if he sprinted here, his face was flushed and adorably nervous. His eyes ranked over you, taking you in the way you were doing to him right now.

You watched him for a moment too long, the weeks of not seeing him were catching up with you. He looked tired as well, he had bags under his eyes and his face was sucked in. Worry fleetingly took over you as you took a step in his direction, but the way his eyes were, so intensely, focused on you, not shying away, reminded you of your situation. Letting out a breath you took a step back, allowing him to enter your home. His eyes fell from your face momentarily as he took the step in, gently closing your door behind him.

The two of you stood there, tense and not knowing where to begin. You had said everything that you had to say, so you stood there utterly defeated. Discarded in favor of Soojin by the very boy that stood in your living room. By the very first boy that was begging to win your heart. Or do you thought. If what Soojin had said to you was true...then why reject you? Tears threatened to make an appearance (as they often did those days) but you pushed them back and sucked your cheek. "How have you been? Did you do good on your exams?" You asked, a small smile on your lips as you gestured at your couch.

He returned the awkward smile you sent him, taking a seat across you. "I am doing.. alright, I guess. I have done well in my exams. You?" He asked, pointing at you.

A bigger smile overtook your face. "We did it!" You exclaimed as you wanted to do since the morning that you learned the news. "I mean, it was a little above average but... I passed nonetheless" you cheered.

He made a grimace "A little above average?" He asked, scrunching his nose.

"What? Will you say you teached me better than that?" You inquired, lounging better in your spot, smiling all the way up to your ears.

"Will you throw me out if I say that?" He asked, head cocking to the side. His tone was a mix of sassiness and uncertainty.

You deserved that, you guessed. "No, I will not" you mumbled, not able to look into his eyes.

"Then, yes. I taught you better than that" he quoted, lightly giggling to easy up the tension. It brought a smile to your face, but you quickly sobered up.

"Why are you here, Seungmin?" You asked, plain and simple, tired.

The boy took a breath, shoulders squaring as if to ready himself "I am sorry"

A slap.

Right on your face. You swallowed your words and returned nothing, wanting to hear what he had come here to say. "I was an idiot. A moron. When you told me you..liked me, I hadn't thought about it. I mean..we ar-" he looked at the floor briefly as if willing himself to remember pointers he wrote, but he picked up when he left off shortly "We are close. We talk every day, we joke around, watch movies together. I had gotten used to you, you were an ally, a friend. I hadn't thought about you in..that light.." you turned your face away, facing the wall, a few stray tears escaping your eyes. He took notice of your state, quickly scooting over, closer to you, one hand on your arm, the other gripping feather light the place your neck and jaw connected. You raised your hands, a motion that meant to shoo him away, but he didn't budge. He stood there looking over you, worried and painfully tender.

"That was what I thought I felt. But Y/N, I don't face time my friends everyday for hours, I don't text them to remind them to study or eat, I don't have reminders to tell me to text them, I.. don't catch myself thinking they are pretty or wishing they were closer when we are watching movies..I don't dance with them and think they are beautiful and wish I could kiss them." he continued, voice quieter as he went on, the last part almost inaudible. If you weren't in front of him, almost locked in his arms, you wouldn't be able to hear him.

But you could.

And your heart was pumping so hard that you could hear it in your ears, your breath was short. You were hanging from his every word. What? What was he saying?

"I didn't ran like a madman to find a pair of earrings for them. The exact copy of the earrings they were looking at the festival..I failed at that one, but I think cherry blossoms suit you better anyway" he breathed, a low laugh escaping him. How he could remember that was beyond you. Had he always paid that much attention to you?

"I don't go mad when I don't talk to them for a few days" he whined, clearly embarrassed if the flush on his face and ears said something. "I don't beat myself up for hesitating to return their feelings" he finished.

That was a confession? "What then?What am I, Seungmin? What am I to you?" You challenged, looking him straight at the eyes. Yours reflected resolution and a fiery temper, his.. reflected guilt and affection, that much you could read, but also pain and hopefulness.

He took a shaky breath and dived in, sealing his lips over your own. You stood frozen for a moment, Seungmin overtaking all of your senses. All you could smell was his manly and wonderful cologne, all you could taste was the mint on his lips and an essence, so clearly him you couldn't explain otherwise. All you could feel were his soft hands clasping you affectionately, his plush lips on your, his eyelashes tickling you gently. All you saw, before closing your eyes, was fluffy hair and his beautiful face coming closer. You got lost in the moment, reciprocating the kiss before your mind could talk you out of it. You reached up, waving your hands into his soft hair, bringing him closer. Your mouth opened, inviting him in and pressed yourself complete onto him, wanting to fell him touch every inch of you. You kissed him fiercely, with a passion, he gladly returned. You felt him draping himself around you, holding you desperately and with a passion you hadn't expected to show to your person.

All you now was that you were experiencing pure bliss. You didn't want it to end.

You didn't know how much time you were kissing, tasting each other eagerly, having gotten lost at the feelings but eventually you had to part to get some air inside of you. You didn't exactly separate, he retreated just enough so he can rest his forehead against yours. You could feel his breath in your mouth, that was also covered in the taste of him. You opened your eyes to look at him, seeing him already gazing adoring at you. And then he spoke.

'I like you" he stated confidently. Face flushed, lips even more kissable than before and eyes alit. "You never were just a friend in my mind. I just...I never have been in a serious relationship..I didn't know what I was supposed to be looking for. But when they asked me what I wanted and I started describing, I realized I was describing you, Y/N" he whispered, nusling closer to your face. The proximity was driving you crazy and his words was making it worse. It was all too much to take in at once.

"Soojin" you mumbled, the close distance between your faces allowing him to hear you. "What about her? You said you like her" you mewled, pained. The same guilty feeling resurfaced on his face again and his hands tightened around you.

"I am so so sorry" he nearly sniffled. As soon as you heard the little sniffle, alarms went off inside your head and you immediately drew closer, hiding your face on the crook of his neck, arms tenderly patting him for comfort. You felt him rest his head on top of yours and nussle his face in your hair. "I thought I did. I hadn't thought about the chance that you.. I didn't know what I was feeling and God-" he took a big breath and started again "I thought I liked her, but when you confessed, don't get me wrong I was super surprised but I couldn't get you out of my mind, so I told her. And it ended up being alright because she-"

"Likes Eric. I know" you completed.

"How?" He asked.

You crewed your neck back in order to see him better and gave him a small smile. "She came over at work. She spilled everything. And for the matter, I think they look cute together."

"Hey! Are you calling me ugly?!" He protested lightly, hands tickling you and making you let out loud giggles.

"Stop!" You shrieked, burrowing yourself deeper in his arms. He did and hugged you tighter in return. "I think you look cuter with me" you cheekily murmured squished against his neck.

He laughed briefly and slowly he unwinded himself from around you. You immediately missed his warmth.

"I am so sorry for all of this" he got out, guiltily. "I have made a mistake. A stupid one. And ..and if you take me back I promise not to make the same ones again. I promise to listen to you and try to express myself more...I.."he trailed off, unsure what else to promise you. You quietly giggled to yourself.

You liked him too much to hold it over him. You liked him too much for you own good.

So you smiled and wrapped your arms around his neck again. He immediately cradled you near, not missing the chance to hold you.

"You promise to never make the same mistake again? And talk to me instead of mumbling nonsense?" You inquired, your hands reaching up to cradle his face gently. He closed his eyes for a moment in tot bliss, before snapping them open and nodding.

"I promise" he stated.

"And you must promise to do what I ask of you" you pouted, dragging the words out, now in a playful mood.

But he eagerly nodded his head, taking your every request without complains. "I promise"

"Even when I ask you to go photoshooting with me?" You wondered, eyes scanning him. But he easily let out a giggle, nodded before ducking to kiss your nose, setting off butterflies in your stomach. You pressed your lips together in order to seal a smile before continuing.

"Even when I ask you to watch boring dramas with me?" You asked, eyebrows raising, remembering his distain in your pickings.

"Mmhhmm"he let out easily, as his eyes swept over you with literal stars sprawled over them.

"Even when the Wyverns are on and you wanna see them?" You mischievously asked, beaming up at him. He chuckled, drawing you closer than ever, not an inch separating your bodies.

"Even then" he agreed, content with you in his arms.

"You got yourself a deal then" you said, cheekily, peaking up at him. He opened his eyes at the sound of that, meeting your gaze, full of intent and tenderness. Now affection and playfulness twirled in his own eyes, so much in contrast with the cold boy that you had met all those months ago.

"Deal" he said, reaching down to seal this deal with a press of our lips.

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whatdoidosatoru · 6 days

Text

Sweet Nothings

PART 4 of The Only Exception

part 1 - part 2 - part 3 - ao3 wc: 4938 pairing: Baji x OC (reader insert bc oc is very vaguely described) tags: smut, oral sex (f and m receiving), face-sitting, fingering, thigh-fucking, dirty talk, penetrative sex, he's so nice!!!!!

tag list: @bontensbabygirl @mrsryuguji - thank you so much for expressing interest for this fic I genuinely feel like crying when I think about it!

summary: post-exam stress turns into a fun night meeting Baji's friends :)

music:

Sweet Nothings - Neck Deep

Just The Girl - The Click Five

She’s a God - Neck Deep

Last of the Real Ones - Fall Out Boy

You and I - Anarbor

Feeling This - blink-182

Closer - Nine Inch Nails

MINORS DNI!!!! 18+

Baji

The following week went by incredibly slowly. Yuna and I had classes and work so we couldn’t see each other, but we kept messaging throughout most of our days, apart from when we were working.

Every time I felt my phone vibrating I felt giddy, like a teenager in love. The feeling was explosive, overwhelming. That girl will be the death of me. Even Chifuyu couldn’t help but notice and take the piss out of me for it.

“I don’t think I’ve seen you smile this much since you stopped beating people up for shits and giggles.”

“Piss off, Chifuyu, I’m the embodiment of sunshine. I’m always smiling.”

Chifuyu laughed, “Sure, that’s why that old lady ran away when she saw you in front of our building today. Because you’re too cheerful.”

I flipped him off, still grinning at my phone and the latest selfie from Yuna while Chifuyu was setting up a show for us to watch.

Yuna🖤💙, 21:36

if my future werent on the line id just sleep in tomorrow tbh my eyes cannot stay open anymore midterms will be the death of me fuck this shit wanna move in with me in a cottage in the middle of nowhere and own some goats off the grid well get some cats as well ill take my dog back from my parents just us and animals and sometimes mai you can invite matsuno to visit tell him to bring us books when he visits

Boyfriend Material🧛🏻, 21:40

You’ve definitely got a good plan there But please go to sleep, you need rest before your exam <3 I’ll be home by the time you’ve finished and you can come over for lunch if you’d like

Yuna🖤💙, 21:42

thats kinda making me wet ngl

Boyfriend Material🧛🏻, 21:43

Lunch is making you wet? Have I told you how weird you are?

Yuna🖤💙, 21:43

you making me food and also coming to your place is, dumbass but anyway! off to sleep i go, tell matsuno im taking him up on that challenge to beat his ass in uno when i meet him good night hot stuff <3

Boyfriend Material🧛🏻, 21:44

Go to sleep, woman! And have the best dreams, preferably of me c; And good luck!!!! For tomorrow!! I know you’ll smash it!!! <33333

“Yuna’s coming over tomorrow after her exam to wipe the floor with you in uno.”

Chifuyu threw his head back and let out a villainous laugh.

“Does she know she’s talking to a master strategist and an uno master?"

“Listen, I know you’re my best friend an-”

“Brother, but continue.”

“....and all that. But if I’m not in her corner I don’t have sex. So if I have to make team Yuna t-shirts don’t be surprised.”

To that, he launched a piece of popcorn at me.

When I got back from work I jumped into the shower, counting down the minutes until Yuna came. When I finished making noodles, she rang the bell to be let upstairs. I all but sprinted to the door to let her in, standing with the apartment door open, just in my towel, waiting to see her face.

“I hope that food I smell is for me because if I don’t have something in my mouth in a minute I’ll riot.”

She was grumpy and tired, it was obvious from the way she dragged her feet on the stairs.

“I’ve got something you can put in your mouth.”

“Baji-kun I’m gonna bite it off.”

“Ooooh ‘Baji-kun’? I didn't think you were this serious. The food is ready, there will be no need for biting off my dick, you hater.”

Yuna reached up to grab my face and kissed it before making her way inside. She’d never been inside my apartment before, but the kitchen was right next to the front door, so she didn’t have to wander before lunch. I served her the food, sitting down next to her to eat and hear about her day.

“...and I knew he was going to put that ridiculous text in the exam and I almost screamed when I saw it. Unfortunately, Hana said she didn’t even get to that part with her revision so I didn’t have anyone to check the answers with.”

She practically inhaled the noodles and vegetables, doing a little dance as she ate.

“But anyway, I’m getting the results in a week, which is shit because if I failed it’s gonna ruin the whole night out! These are amazing by the way. I haven’t eaten all day until now so sorry if I was hangry.”

She was tripping her own sentences, trying to say everything at once. All I wanted to do was grab her face and smother her in affection, but I was trying to give her space to relax and reach out when she wanted to.

When I told her about my day, we moved to my bedroom. As she was taking it all in, lingering on the vinyl collection, I towel-dried my hair and started to look for some clothes to put on, but she stopped me, dragging me toward the bed and pushing me down.

“I could hardly focus on what you were saying earlier.”

“Something on your mind, sweetheart?”

“The food was amazing, but I want to taste you.”

Oh. I see. She unwrapped the towel from around my hips with a pleading look in her eyes. I pulled her hair up and used her own hair tie from my wrist to tie it back. With a soft smile, she took my cock into her mouth, not breaking eye contact.

My eyes rolled back and I struggled to keep myself sitting up to look at her. All I wanted was to lie down and process the sensation, but the intensity in her gaze was somehow holding me in place, the only thing moving was my mouth to let out a moan.

“Fuck it’s so warm,” I managed to squeeze out as she nodded, hummed in affirmation, and licked along my slit, teasing with her soft tongue. I wanted to burn this into the insides of my eyelids - Yuna on her knees between my legs, one hand on my balls, the other on my shaft, and her beautiful mouth enveloping my cock, hollowed-out cheeks as she sucked in air around it, her head bobbing up and down slightly, and most importantly, her eyes gazing into mine like she was memorising every detail of my face that was twisting into expressions of pure pleasure.

“Your mouth is so pretty-ah-when you do this. Fuck you’re so hot like this.”

My words just kept coming. She needed to know how she made me feel and it seemed to make her hollow out her cheeks even more and suck with more intensity - I felt my orgasm coming rapidly.

“I’m so close sweets, can you take it?”

In reply her hand found mine and placed it on her ponytail so I gripped it tight, leading her into the pace I needed to finally exhale and spurt cum into her throat. She carefully removed her mouth from my cock and opened it to show me milky white cum on her tongue, promptly swallowing it and showing me her empty mouth.

I groaned and pulled her into my lap for a deep kiss, her hands flew to the back of my head to grip my hair and she was straddling my lap. My hands were holding her hips tightly squeezing her skin and I could feel the heat radiating from her pussy.

She started rubbing myself on my thigh, but only slightly. I held her tighter and moved her hips back and forth, intensifying the friction between her core and my leg. She started moaning into my mouth and keeping the pace on her own, clearly getting more and more pleasure than just with her own small movements.

“Keisuke I need you,” her moans were so cute, barely pronouncing my name through whines.

I pulled her off my lap to unbutton her jeans and take them off along with her underwear.

“How do you want me?” She moaned into my mouth as I swiped my fingers through her wet folds.

“All to myself, sweetness, but I’ll make do with your pussy on my face for now.”

I could feel her arousal leaking, soon to be smeared on my face. I lay on my back, waiting for her to position herself over me, she gripped the bed frame and hovered above me.

“I’m gonna need you to get lower, can’t reach you like this.” I grabbed her thighs to try and lower her.

“I’m scared I’ll crush you!”

How cute.

“What a way to die, feasting on your sweetness, suffocated by sweet,” I lightly slapped her thigh where it met her ass, “soft thighs of a gorgeous woman. Now sit.”

With that, I pulled her all the way onto my face and, as soon as she was met with my eager tongue, she let out a scrumptious moan. I licked a long strip from her entrance all the way to her clit and started circling the soft sensitive bud and spelling out my name on it. Every time the tip of my tongue finished an S, I could feel her thighs twitch, making me dig my fingers into her.

Her moans turned to whimpers, whimpers to cries, and with a breathy cry of my name she tightened…and let go. I drank her release slowly, gently, to not overwhelm her, and let go of her thighs. She collapsed on the bed next to me, breathing heavily.

“I’ve…fuck I’ve never done that before.” With a quick roll, I was above her, pinning her to the bed and kissing her deeply, making her taste herself on my lips.

“Stick around and this won’t be the last time.” I winked at her and helped her up to put her clothes on.

I rummaged around my wardrobe looking for a minute and pulled out a dark grey band hoodie. Yuna’s eyes widened when I handed it to her.

“I told you I’d give you a hoodie you can sniff like a weirdo.”

“Kei…The Black Parade? If I had any energy left I’d cry. Thank you."

She launched herself at me with arms wide open. I embraced her tightly and kissed the top of her head. If I’d known this would make her so happy I would’ve done it right away. She got her book bag and I went to put the plates away before we went to her flat to get her things.

I couldn’t believe my absolute luck that I got to flaunt her in front of my friends and she agreed to sleep over tonight. I was practically skipping on the way to hers. We were holding hands again and I swear I could feel her smile burning into the side of my head every time I stopped looking at her.

She packed up a pyjama top, toothbrush, some skincare stuff, and makeup while I was looking through her bookshelf, picking up some books to see what she read.

“Why doesn’t it say what they’re about on the back? Who is the Guardian and why am I supposed to care that they think this book is ‘moving and engaging by turns, with an ending to blow down walls’? Just tell me the plot dammit!”

Yuna laughed softly, “Unfortunately, it’s all too common these days. That’s why I rely on the internet.”

Placing the book back, my gaze went over a nail polish basket. Out of curiosity I picked up a few bottles to look at them more closely and was met with a light chuckle from the door.

“You want me to paint your nails, Kei?”

“I wouldn’t mind that. Do you have black?”

“Do I have….Baji Keisuke look at me and ask me that again.” She couldn’t keep a serious face on, immediately grinning at me.

“Fair point, so will you do it?”

She walked over to me, all of her stuff packed into a rucksack, and placed a kiss on my fingers.

“Of course. You’ll look even hotter with black nail polish on while you’re fingering me.”

Immediate hard-on. It wasn’t fair.

On our way back to mine, we stopped by a shop to get some snacks and drinks for tonight, I could feel Yuna growing more anxious by the minute. Having arrived at the apartment, I got to dusting and cleaning up while Yuna excused herself to my bedroom to put on some makeup - something about feeling more put together to help with her nerves. Chifuyu was on his way home from work so he should be the first one out of the group to meet her.

Twisted Firestarter, 14:26 She’s really nervous rn Please be nice to her Or I’ll burn your pillows c:

ChiFOOLyu, 14:27 I’M ALWAYS NICE I get it man don’t touch my stuff if you don’t want to be strangled in your sleep :D I’m home in 20 mins

Twisted Firestarter, 14:28 Just saying, the gang might be too much to handle so it’s be nice if she had another person apart from me to talk to

ChiFOOLyu, 14:29 👌

There was a knock on the door and a faint voice coming in, “I hope both of you are dressed because I don’t need any more jump scares today!”

With that, Chifuyu unlocked the front door and walked in, tossed his keys on the shelf in the hallway, and took his boots off before walking over to us sitting on the couch. Yuna took a deep breath and grinned at him, immediately turning to banter to mask her nervousness.

“Matsuno-kun, I heard you think you could hold a candle to my absolute domination at card games?”

Chifuyu all but threw himself onto the couch next to her, acting like they’d known each other for years.

“My deepest apologies, Yuna-sensei. All I want is a chance to play against a world-renowned master such as yourself. And you can call me Chifuyu, no need to be so formal.”

“Okay Fufu, but chumminess is not going to make me go easy on you.” She said with a wink. I liked seeing her growing more and more relaxed with Chifuyu, even though she was nervous as all hell earlier.

“Fufu? Aight…are you painting your nails, Keisuke?” He clocked one of my hands spread across Yuna’s lap, the other in the air trying not to smudge the freshly applied coat of black nail polish.

“I’m pretty sure you have eyes, Chi, Yuna is painting them, not me. And what of it?” I knew he didn’t mean anything negative by it, but it wouldn’t be us if we didn’t tease each other for no reason.

“Fuck off trying to insinuate shit. Yuna, could you paint mine as well? Might make me seem more badass since I’m not fighting anym-” A silent, but intense look in my eyes made him stop talking and smile at Yuna instead.

Yuna lifted her head to look at him when she finished painting my other hand and reached for Chifuyu after instructing me to be careful not to smudge anything.

“Wow your cuticles are so neat,” she inspected his hands before taking the nail polish and started applying, “what happened to your face anyway? That scratch looks fresh.”

They started chatting about all the cats we get at work and how some are absolute bastards to take care of, sometimes we get scratched up. Just looking at the energy between the two of them was soothing.

I no longer had to worry about there being any awkwardness in Yuna meeting my friends. I was still waiting for her answer to being my girlfriend, hopefully, tonight might make her see she is wanted and I wouldn’t hide her away.

A few hours later, after we dried our nails and joked around with Yuna, my phone rang. When I picked up, I could hear two sets of voices, one clearly not talking to me, the other trying to be loud enough for me to hear, but unfortunately loud enough that I had to move the phone away from my ear.

“MIKEY FORGOT WHICH BUTTON HE NEEDS TO PRESS CAN YOU BUZZ US IN,” I could hear Mitsuya shouting over Mikey and Draken arguing in the background.

I hung up and pressed the button next to the porta phone, waiting for them to make their way to my door. They were still arguing over who knew which button to press when they walked in and I took the pizza boxes from Mitsuya’s hands.

“Yeah well, it’s Baji’s fault for not having us over anymore.”

“It’s not like we ever needed an invitation?”

“Yeah well, Mr.Big Shot over here is too busy for his best friends because he’s going to be a very important vet someday.”

“I live here, too! You can come and visit me!” Chifuyu shouted at them from the couch where he was keeping Yuna company.

Mikey’s gaze stopped on Yuna’s face as she shyly waved and smiled at them.

“Oh hey, new best friend. I’m Mikey, you’re Yuna, right?” He flashed her an angelic smile, earning a smack to the back of his head from Draken.

“Behave, Mikey.” Draken shook his head, reaching to shake Yuna’s hand, and walking back to the kitchen with me, handing me the watermelon he brought with him.

We cut it together and moved the pizzas to the coffee table while Mikey and Mitsuya were trying to be normal around Yuna. Chifuyu seemed to be fending off Mikey’s overbearing closeness pretty well so Draken and I could bring all the drinks and cups to the gathering spot.

I sat next to Yuna, sharing the couch with Chifuyu, while Draken was spread out on the other one, Mikey sitting on the floor with Mitsuya. I had plugged my phone into the big speaker under the TV and played some music as background noise to our conversations.

Yuna seemed to be enjoying the company, often being asked about her studies and hobbies. When she wasn’t talking I could hear her humming along to the music and tapping her fingers on my leg in the rhythm of whatever was on. I passed her some pizza and fruit to eat, which she accepted with a massive smile on her face.

Mikey ended up falling asleep curled up on the floor while Chifuyu was arguing with Draken about who bought pizza the last time we had a gathering like this one.

“DID YOU JUST BLUE SHELL ME YUNA I SWEAR TO EVERYTHING HOLY-” Chifuyu was getting frustrated at nearly winning at Mario Kart - again.

Yuna just playfully chuckled and continued playing, Draken taking the opportunity to speed past him and win the race, sharing a conspiratorial smirk with Yuna.

“That’ll teach you not to knock me into the mud next time.” She replied, smacking him on the arm.

I took the controller from his hands and started a new race, ready to obliterate everyone involved.

It was late by the time the guys left, but I wasn’t tired in the slightest. Yuna’s face was blushed from everyone complimenting her and being really nice and genuine with her, as they should’ve been. She helped Chifuyu clean up the plates and glasses and I accompanied her to the bathroom to brush our teeth and for her to remove her makeup.

“I’ve been thinking…” She started.

“Oh no, what about?”

“Kei I’m serious. I’ve had a really good time tonight. Everyone seemed so genuine and friendly.”

“They can be, yeah. That’s why I’ve been friends with them for the past, uhhh, I want to say around ten years, give or take.”

“I want to be your girlfriend, Kei.”

I stood there, completely shocked, with the toothbrush forgotten in my mouth, staring at her reflection in the mirror. Her lips were stretched into a smile, toothbrush still in her mouth, and all I could think about was how I wanted this moment to last forever in its glorious bliss. I quickly spat the toothpaste out and rinsed my mouth, grabbed her hips and spun her around to face me

“You’re sure? I don’t want you to rush your decision just for my sake.”

“I wasn’t planning on rushing it, dumbass, it just feels right.”

I let my hands roam up and down her hips while she finished brushing her teeth and immediately pulled her in for a deep kiss. For the first time as a couple. I picked her up, causing her to break out into a fit of giggles and wrap her legs around my waist, and carried her into my bedroom, walking past Chifuyu, who was still sitting on the couch scrolling on his phone.

“Hey Yuna, maybe we-”

I cut him off before he could stop us, “Not now, pal, my girlfriend and I are a bit busy at the moment.”

“Girlfriend?! Congrats bro!” He returned to his phone, grinning, no doubt alerting the group chat.

As soon as I shut the bedroom door and dropped her on my bed I began undressing, Yuna giggled trying to take her t-shirt off,

“‘My girlfriend and I are a bit busy’ I love the sound of that, mister boyfriend Baji Keisuke.”

I put my hair up into a ponytail and hungrily began kissing up her legs to where her panties started.

“Shhh I’m busy kissing my girlfriend,” I murmured between the kisses, “my beautiful girlfriend,” I nipped at her panties and rolled them down to her ankles, “my gorgeous girlfriend that I’ve somehow managed to pull,” with one hand I held her hips down while the other went to her clit to softly rub it, “my perfect girlfriend who’s going to be so good for me right now and tell me how she wants to cum, hm?”

I looked up at her and, holy shit, her face was already scrunched up in pleasure, her mouth slightly open, her breaths coming out in sharp puffs. One of my fingers was sucked into her needy hole, curling upwards to press on her sensitive spot. She whined at the sensation, squirming under my hand.

“I asked you something, Yuna. How do you want to cum?”

She half-opened her eyes and with a strained voice slurred, “On your fingers, please, Kei.”

How could I not oblige when she asked so nicely?

I inserted another finger into her, attaching my lips to her clit and slowly swirling my tongue around it, drawing sinful moans out of her mouth. She grabbed my hair to bring me even closer to her and I could feel her soft walls tightening around my fingers.

Yuna let out a cry and her juices coated my fingers, I just couldn’t help but lick them clean, before squeezing her thighs and pressing kisses along them, biting to leave marks behind. Making my way up to her, she ran her hands all over my body, admiring me with glassy eyes and hair all over my pillow and her face.

I hoped she wouldn’t mind a little bit of roughness, seeing her spayed out on the bed like that, with her eyes closed, hair sticking to her forehead, made me feel like a wild animal. Like I could bite her flesh forever, leave little reminders of myself on her thighs and hips, which is exactly what I did. She mewled in pleasure whenever I started biting a new bruise into her soft skin.

“Kei it’s s’good,” she was already slurring.

I pulled away and pressed her legs together in the air in front of me, placing my painfully hard erection between her thighs.

“Hope you don’t mind waiting a little more before I fuck you.”

She whined in response as I started pumping my cock through her thighs. Her soft, plush skin felt heavenly on my wanting erection, it grazed her pussy with each thrust, and soon enough I was keeping a steady pace. Her face was flush in frustration, her hips lifting to get more friction on her puffy clit, little whines falling from her lips as she couldn’t get what she was after.

When I was close to finishing I dropped her legs, knees falling towards her chest, and leaned down to grip her lips into a deep kiss. She smelled like freshly squeezed oranges, refreshing my mind as I breathed in her scent. Yuna’s hands roamed across my back and settled in my hair, scratching my scalp, in turn making me shiver with the sensation.

I aligned my cock with her dripping core and dragged it along her soft, puffy folds to make her sigh in frustration one more time before I sunk into her warm, spongy walls.

The noise that came out when I fully sheathed my length into her was something I would be chasing for the rest of my life. A long, sinful moan of anticipated reward that was finally here after all the teasing.

“She’s sucking me in so well, so obsessed with me,” I couldn’t help but tease as her pussy clenched around my dick with every thrust.

Yuna looked up at me, glaring, and managed to bite out,

“Maybe she was feeling ignored while you were playing with my thighs instead!”

So cute while she was angry.

“Don’t be a hater, Yuna, or next time I’ll only fuck your thighs and make you beg for attention to your cunt.”

That shut her up and made her roll her eyes, her attitude was immediately cut short when I slammed my hips into hers and made her gasp louder than before. I chuckled and pressed a kiss onto her lips, licking her bottom lip, before pushing myself up and pressing her legs as far to her chest as she could handle, getting a better angle to thrust into her deeper than before.

She cried out in pleasure when I picked up the pace, my mouth couldn’t contain grunts as her warm walls drew me in and clenched around me - with my name on her lips she came and a ring of white formed around my base. Her orgasm only made me more feral, slamming into her drenched pussy with a ferocity I hadn’t used before, as her moans turned more and more desperate, borderline pornographic.

“Kei please slow-fuck-down ‘s ah too much!” She was half-slurring her words, eyes shut, mouth open in ecstasy. I slowed down for a few thrusts to oblige.

“Overwhelmed?” I asked her, to which she only nodded lightly.

With a grin I slammed into her harder, still not speeding up, but she didn’t say anything about roughness. I grabbed her legs and hugged them tightly, resting her calves on my shoulders. I lazily dragged my cock in and out of her, barely putting in any effort, waiting for her to beg me to speed up again.

I didn’t have to wait long, but this pace made me feel so needy, I wanted to pound into her like it was my last night on earth, I wanted to make her scream my name so loudly that there would be no doubt in anyone’s mind about who was making her see stars.

When she finally spoke again my cock twitched inside of her with excitement.

“Kei baby faster please,” She whined and I had half a mind to jump on the request, but the other part of me wanted to make her beg.

“You sure you can take it, sweetheart?”

“I want it, please.”

“How much?”

“Mmm-what?”

“How much do you want it?” I wanted to watch her squirm with want.

“I need it. I need you, Keisuke. I need your cock deep and fast,” her eyes were glistening, “please.”

With that I doubled my thrusts, her moans immediately rising in pitch. Her fucked-out face scrunching up while her mouth hung open, lewd moans slipping past her soft lips. I wanted to kiss them, but this position was just too good to stop. I grunted with my quick movements while her toes curled on each side of my neck. The next best thing to do was to kiss her ankles, making her chuckle mid-moan.

“Kei ‘m sooooo close don’t-fuck-don’t stop!” Yuna was gasping for air at this point and I was almost at my tipping point, desperate to spill inside of her.

I reached down to smack her ass and draw out another whine from her mouth, she was trying to say my name again, but all that came out was a long moan as her walls contracted around my dick once more, releasing another orgasm and making her spasm in front of me.

That was enough to milk my cock of everything I had in me, long ropes of cum spurted on her walls and I slowed down to ride it out with her. I slowly pulled out, some of our cum very lazily leaking out of her abused hole. With a kiss to her swollen clit, I gently pushed her up to the pillows and went to the bathroom to get her a warm towel while trying to ignore Chifuyu’s protesting about my walking out of my bedroom naked.

After cleaning her up (gently, trying to shush her overstimulated whines), I lay in bed next to her and drew her closer into my chest. She released a happy humming sound and almost immediately started snoring. I could definitely get used to this, I whispered into the back of her head,

“You’ll be the death of me, sweetheart, I feel like I’m falling in love.”

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miniimapp · 1 year

Text

Chat Room Pt. 2 - Aaron Z

Gen ;; Fluff - Story

Warnings ;; No ??

Proofread + Edited ;; You should know by now

Auth. Note ;; WELCOME TO DAY 22 OF THE 4*TOWN CHRISTMAS COUNTDOWN !!

This is one of many posts tonight, so please go check out the advent calendar pinned to my page for each day's post :DD

Enjoy !! <3

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not_interested: ok promise this is the last time I bother you tonight but omfg they have a drink WALL with all kinds of teas and coffees and other stuff..

not_interested: idk about you but that just screams fancy to me

not_interested: i would ask how tf you managed to afford that hotel room BUT YOU FORGOT TO MENTION YOURE RICH AND FAMOUS SO..

ringshooter: in my defence

ringshooter: when tf was i supposed to bring it up???

ringshooter: just out of nowhere oh btw i'm part of a famous boyband.. yh cus that wouldve gone well

not_interested: ok valid

not_interested: but still, some warning wouldve been v nice

ringshooter: yh alr ill remember that for next time shall i?? 🙄

not_interested: the sass on you today.. smh

ringshooter: its 2am..

not_interested: ..valid

ringshooter: id recommend sleep if you dont wanna be shattered in front of the boys tomorrow lmao

not_interested: and id do that if i wasnt currently obsessint over a hotel the room the size of my whole house basically

ringshooter: valid but not helpful rn

ringshooter: the funniest part is you weren't even in here for more than 5 mins..

ringshooter: go sleep

not_interested: omg fine dad

ringshooter: never again

not_interested: yh no i hated that too

not_interested: kinda just felt icky

ringshooter: sleep

not_interested: aye aye captain 🏴‍☠️

ringshooter: 😒

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Your phone slips out of your hand and onto the bed as you flop back onto the mattress. You close your eyes and feel a sappy smile worm its way across your face. Just earlier you'd been hanging out with ringshooter.. Z, sorry, after he'd gotten off of his flight and tomorrow.. well, today actually, you'll be meeting the boys™.

You've been spamming Z whenever you get mildly nervous.. which is every 2 seconds it seems. It's not like you can help it though, he just has that calming effect on you, some may find his blasé attitude careless but to you it's freeing.

As the minutes tick by and the early hours pass into what some may coin as reasonable you finally drift off to sleep, your slumber that is much too quickly ended by your dozens of alarms going off.

Look, no judgement, you've just been known to sleep through your alarms before so 10+ alarms confirms whether your dead to world or waking up on time.

With a groan you pat around your bedside table until your hand land on your phone and you turn of your alarm. You drag yourself up into a sitting position and go through all the other alarms set to follow and turn all of them off too. Somehow you'd only slept through 3 today, must be a miracle.

You quickly skim through your notifications, not-so-secretly hoping to see one from ringshooter Z

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ringshooter: the guys

ringshooter: read: t and tae

ringshooter: have decided we absolutely have to go bowling today

ringshooter: that alright with you???

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You smiled as you found the notification and opened up your chat; you read through every word before shooting back a text of your own

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not_interested: no problems with that

not_interested: i know a place that does some really good food as well

not_interested: btw we doing those like side bumper things or no ??

ringshooter: sounds good

ringshooter: just send me the location and we'll meet you there

ringshooter: robaire insists on using those side thingies (wtf are they called???) so yh we are

not_interested: sweetness

not_interested: sending location now

not_interested: see ya

ringshooter: 👍🏾

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You resist the urge to squeal and kick your legs like a a pre-teen in one of those rubbish coming of age movies.

Now that you know the plan and you have an incentive to get up and seize the day, you find it much less of a struggle to leave you bed so you can wash up, get dressed and have a bite to eat before you leave.

You decide to walk to the bowling alley because it's more environmentally friendly and, more importantly, you're too broke to get public transport.

It takes longer than you'd anticipated but once you're finally at the bowling alley you open up you chat with Z

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not_interested: im here, meet me outside

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It only takes a couple of second for your phone to light up with the notification of a new message from ringshooter.

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ringshooter: i can see you 👀

not_interested: okay weirdo get over here so i can beat your ass at bowling

ringshooter: i think you'll find im the one will be winning today lmao

not_interested: dream on loser

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You thank whatever higher being warned you of your online friend's celebrity status and his celebrity friends before this because as you watch them walk towards you, you find yourself growing more and more intimidated. It's so weird being the center of 5 objectively attractive men's attentions, how the fuck no one's died from skyrocketing blood pressure at their concerts you will never know.

With a quick mental cleanse you rid yourself of any thoughts of their celebrity-ness, they came here to hang out and be normal people and so help you God you will not ruin this for them!

A widening grin makes its way onto your face as lock eyes with Z, "Hey, tiny."

You immeditaly puff up at the nickname, "I am not tiny, you're just an obscenely tall motherfucker!"

"Our point exactly!" Two voices chorus from behind Z, the owner of the louder of the two voices, bounds over to you, "I'm T, that's Tae and you are going to be our new favourite."

Tae nods and practically skips over, "Just because we're not 7 fucking feet tall doesn't mean we're short, but some people seem to forget that due to being taller than Mount fucking Everest! Glad to finally meet someone who's simply correct."

T looks likes a broken bobblehead simply from the force of his nods, "Robaire's not even that much taller than us, maybe like a couple inches, so the short jokes are just low hanging fruit at this point, not a pun!"

You smile brightly at both of them, "Nice to meet you both, I have a feeling we'll become great allies!"

The other tall one, who, by process of elimination is probably Jesse, speaks up, "Okay, enough squabbling, how about we go inside before we get stared at even more."

Robaire nods, "Agreed, plus I would kill for a bowling alley slushie right now."

You eyes narrow as you turn to him, "What flavour?"

He looks at you in return, he's eyes narrowing as well, "The only correct flavour there is, the blue one."

You straighten up and nod approvingly before turning to Z, "Looks like I've found a better partner in crime, someone who knows their bowling alley slushies and doesn't choose the red one over the blue one."

T gasps dramatically making you laugh, "I can't believe you said the red one over the blue one, everyone knows you have to get blue because it changes your tongue to blue."

Z rolls his eyes, "Who cares about omgue colour if it doesn't taste as good as the red one."

This time you gasp dramatically, one of hands flying to forehead in shock, "I can't believe you just said that! The blue one is way better tasting than the red one!"

Jesse sighs, "You guys are worse than my kids."

Tae smiles dangerously, "You're only saying that because you secretly like the red one more."

T turned to Jesse with a look of betrayal plastered across his face, "Is it true? Have you truly gone to the dark side!?"

Jesse scoffs, "I'd hardly call liking the red one over the blue one going to the dark side."

T fake sobs into your shoulder, "He does! He's betrayed us!" You pat T on the arm comfortingly, "It's alright, just because they don't understand doesn't change the fact that most people prefer the blue one."

Robaire sniffs, "Betrayed by my very own friends, whatever did I do to deserve this heartbreak."

Z groans, "What the fuck is this, man.."

T stares at Tae accusingly, "So, are you team blue or team red?"

Tae smiles innocently and replies, "I hate slushies!"

He then skips off into the bowling place leaving the rest of the group in shock..

"WHAT!?"

"Do they have actual favours or are they just the blue one and the red one?"

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Hope you enjoyed !! <3

#4town christmas countdown #4town #4town aaron z #4town aaron z x reader #4town x reader #x reader

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animatronictism · 1 year

Text

Today's mechanic friend is Barney Bear

Barney Bear was created by Advanced Animatronics. He was part of the band Circus World Jamboree at Circus World Pizza. He played a single marching band snare drum on a stand. As far as I know, only 8 Circus World Jamboree sets were created. I'm unsure of how many complete sets are still around.

Here is a set performing on stage!

Fortunately, we have all the music played by the band which I will link below

Spotify YTMusic Apple Music

Here is some example of their showtape, posted by BullFrogs Banjo

youtube

Thank you so much for reading! Ask any questions you may have and come back tomorrow for another animatronic friend!

ALL IMAGE IDS:

[An image of an animatronic bear in a red marching band jacket with gold tassles on each shoulder. He wears a red marching hat with a white plume and a gold medal on the front. His head is turned slightly to the side. His arms are bent up and forward. He is holding drumsticks and stands in front of a silver snare drum on a black stand. He is standing on a stage with purple curtains behind him.] END IMAGE ID ONE

[A cropped image of the same animatronic bear holding a white banner on a yellow background. He is looking towards the viewer with an open-mouth smile. His eyelids come down slightly over his eyes giving him a relaxed expression. The character next to him has their hand on his shoulder.] END IMAGE ID TWO

[An image of the same animatronic bear in a back storeroom. His head is tilted to the side. His red jacket is dusty and the tassles on his shoulders are falling off. His hat is still intact but the plume is slumped over looking bent or broken. His arms are bent out in front of him with one higher than the other. He is holding drumsticks. There is no snare drum in front of him and a sculpted belly button can be seen] END IMAGE ID THREE

[An image of an animatronic band on stage. There is a lioness in a red marching band jacket, white button down shirt, black bow tie, white leggings, and a mini black top hat sat on a swing hanging from the ceiling. To her left is a lion holding an animal crop wearing a red tail coat with black accents, a white shirt, and a black top hat with a white ribbon. Next to him and slightly behind him is a penguin sitting on a block of ice. His body is facing the wall but his head is turned to look at the audience. He is playing an anthropomorphic organ with a purple body and brass pipes. Further to the left is a bear facing the audience in a red marching band jacket with golden tassles and a marching hat with a white plume. He is holding drumsticks and playing a snare drum on a stand. Directly next to him is a red, white, and blue performance cannon. It is facing towards the audience. Though not clearly visible, a clown wearing green goggles with his arms out in front of him is inside. Behind both the bear and the cannon is a small bear-like animatronic hanging on to a gold bar that hangs from the ceiling. He is in a blue acrobatic outfit with a red and yellow belt. Sitting on the stage in front of the band is an adult with long brown hair surrounded by various small children. They are all posing for a picture.] END IMAGE IDs

#animatronics #circus world pizza #circus world jamboree #barney the bear #animatronic band #advanced animatronics #animatronicoftheday

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vase · 9 months

Text

Writing Tip #2: Getting Started, Part Two - The Fourth Pillar

Hello again! I want to thank everyone for the phenomenal amount of support my last post received. I'm really hoping to keep this momentum up, and I'm very thankful that so many people are having as much fun as I am.

As always, it's time for our next venture into the wonderful world of writing. Last time, we discussed character, plot, and setting. Next, I'd like to delve into what I personally consider the fourth important pillar alongside these. This fourth pillar is prose!

In writing, prose is meant to describe the manner of which a writer writes. Think of it as the writer's own personal style. Prose is specific to what is literally on the page. Prose dictates specifically the word choice, sentence length variation, grammar choices, and diction of the author. While communities around this are virile, an author need not worry if their prose is strictly "good", rather that it is consistent and fitting.

Typically, when a person (mostly literature students, because no one else gives a shit about prose) refers to "good prose", they will refer to the works of classic authors like Austen or Melville. "Good prose" tends to be filed under the same vein of books that non-literature students complain about, the ones that harp on about descriptions of a tree for an hour. This prose is praised because it excels in imagery--these hour long tree descriptions use excessive verbiage to paint an excessively clear picture of the surroundings. Often, the word choice of the author is what lends it its praise. Our average author, again, need not worry. One does not need to harp on about a tree for an hour to be good at prose. It is better, instead, to be fitting.

[ ID: MOTHER died today. Or, maybe, yesterday; I can't be sure. The telegram from the Home says: YOUR MOTHER PASSED AWAY. FUNERAL TOMORROW. DEEP SYMPATHY. Which leaves the matter doubtful; it could have been yesterday. ]

What precedes is an excerpt from Albert Camus's ever iconic 'The Stranger', in one of its many translations. While the original word choice is lost in translation (from dastardly French), the intent and prose of Camus is obediently transcribed by loyal translators. The main character of The Stranger, Meursault, is a man who thinks in a very objective and brisk sense. This bleeds into the prose of the book itself. Here, it would only kneecap Camus and The Stranger if the book indulged in the flowery, purple prose (term used to describe prose that is syrupy and poetic) of other notable classics, because it would go against the main character's worldview.

It's not necessarily important that your prose uses amazing words and the perfect Austenian writing, but rather that it matches the story. If your narrator character is a preteen girl, she's not going to describe things as 'Kafkaesque' (unless she's the coolest teen girl ever). Experimenting with prose is especially fun in multiple POV stories, with the possibility of different characters speaking or recounting things differently. Just as I recommended writing exercises previously when building characters, writing multiple POVs with different prose on purpose is a good way to build skill in prose. Everyone has their own specific 'prose', but developing your prose is an excellent idea, especially before writing the first draft of your project. Just like a drawing style, whereas everyone has their own style, it's better to learn to draw motion, backgrounds, and shadows before starting drawing your webcomic.

In a first person perspective novel, the prose of the book should be close to the way the narrator character speaks in dialogue, unless there's a specific reason otherwise (ie. the character is a spy and speaks differently to the people around them than they would regularly, or something along that vein). Multiple POV third person novels may also see a shift in prose depending on who is being followed, but they don't always need one. In fact, a dramatic shift may be a bit jarring for readers in these instances. Third person omniscient books need not a prose specific to the central character per se, but this brings in the topic of audience. A book with a story aimed at preteen audiences probably shouldn't use advanced prose, as it may be difficult for the preteen audiences to follow. A writer's prose, however, should be flexible enough to shift from genre-to-genre, reading level to reading level.

Don't believe me? Try it! A great way to practice prose, especially in this sense, would be to write the same general passage for different audiences: first as a children's book, then as a YA book, then as an adult book, and maybe even as an Austenian classic. A great way to practice prose and strengthen characters would be to write the same scene from many different character's perspectives, and incorporating the character's quirks into the prose. Personally, as well, I'm going to recommend writing poetry, especially rhyming poetry. Poetry challenges writers to use thinner perimeters to build word choice and intent.

Thanks everyone for reading once again! I know prose isn't a topic many find super interesting, and I'm sorry to disappoint those who were looking for a character writing or a worldbuilding tip. I promise, next time. Happy writing, prose apprentices, and thanks again for being along for the ride.

#prose #point of view #reading level

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golmac · 8 months

Text

Inform 7 Basics: when the story ends, #2

Hi all! I am travelling tomorrow, so here's Saturday's update. We talked about craft and failure last week. On Tuesday, we looked at some related code. Today, we'll continue looking at the code side of things.

Today's info involves a table, which Tumblr really can't handle. The borogove link at the bottom of this post will take you to some sample code that compiles. If you haven't used borogove before, it's pretty neat!

When play ends, a list of options are presented. In vanilla inform, those options are undo, restore, restart, and quit. These options can be configured, as they are stored in a table called, appropriately, the "table of final question options."

In inform, columns are separated by tabs. Rows are each on a new line. They don't look very good! But they work. It's an adjustment for sure. It's easier when rows fit on one line, so widen the source pane in your IDE if necessary. I'll post the table in the borogove doc below. You can find it in the standard rules [file->open installed extension->Graham Nelson->standard rules].

We can edit the table. The main reason we'd have for doing that is disabling one of the options. If we wanted to prevent undo, we could clear it from the table.

The best time to do something like that is either when play ends or begins.

when play begins: choose row with a final question wording of "UNDO the last command" in the table of final question options; blank out the final question wording entry.

syntax for tables is very specific! You can find more info in the documentation.

The options that Inform 7 prints at the game over screen are pulled from the "final question wording" column. Blank out the relevant entry, and it will no longer appear.

If you want to add something, that's yet another table change. In that case, we'll be adding a row. That's easy; we don't need an action processing rule. Inform 7 will treat our new row as part of the table, no questions asked. You can look at the Borogove snippet to play with it, but here's a picture.

Do you see the "only if victorious" column? If the value is "true," Inform will only show the option if "end the story finally" is invoked. What's this "final gloat rule?" We can trigger something--text mostly--by making and naming a rule here. That ought to be easy for us now:

this is the final gloat rule: say "Bweh heh heh heh.".

We can do conditional text, read tables, and so forth, but the game is over--changing the world state is almost certainly out of the question. I had several victorious=true rules in Repeat the Ending, mostly related to score, images, and showing the various endings. The player could view the *GUIDE* as well.

What else? You can mess with some of the response text. For instance,

the print the final question rule response (A) is "Nice! Would you like to ".

As a reminder, you can do RESPONSES ALL while playing a test build. Copy and paste the output into a text file! You can hunt down any other text you'd like to change.

As a final note: want to give players "lives," or otherwise make death conditional?

if [some condition you pick]: resume the story.

As a reminder, you can AMA! The tag for this series is #i7 for beginners.

#i7 for beginners #inform 7 #interactive fiction #parser #i am not a programmer irl #ending the game

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catmemey · 6 months

Note

sooo I noticed you've been sharing posts from people advocating the death of Israeli Jews like me. Like, your most recent post about gaza literally ends with the slogan: "from the river to the sea" which is a dogwhistle about eliminating the entire state of Israel and everyone in it (since they are what is between the river and the sea)

i support a free Palestine and oppose my government's actions, but please don't oppose one genocide by advocating for another

so Im answering this as Im trying to eat my late breakfast so this may affect how Im answering this. Im a little disappointed you came on anon to talk about this; I know Id be a bit easier on my part as a discussion if you werent, though I understand why you did. I also want to state that while I get that tensions are high right now re: the Palestinian genocide, you didnt need to phrase your ask passive-aggressively like this. I try my utmost to be a reasonable person and Im very happy to get asks simply and kindly pointing out an issue with a post I reblogged and thats enough to get me to reconsider and do some research.

I do want to thank you for bringing it to my attention because I wouldnt have known about it otherwise. Im going to state one thing right now: I am not Israeli nor am I Palestinian. Im not going to try to act as judge, jury and executioner on this issue.

however, based on one quick google search, every other google search returns a conflicting opinion. this to me says that, at bare minimum, it's a phrase loaded with historical context that I definitely cant speak to and am not about to try to. I unfortunately dont have time today to do a deep dive into this (much as Id like to) because I start my new job tomorrow and have a shit ton of things Id like to do and organize today before that happens, ya feel.

if anyone has a comprehensive article or set of documents etc that go into this phrase in detail, feel free to link them in the comments. Id love to learn more.

absolutely do not construe any of what I just said as sympathetic to Israel however. Im still learning about all of this, but I will always be adamantly on Palestine's side.

#hiiii hellooo if you do actually follow me if you wanna talk off anon please feel free to #I dont want an aggressive discussion though!! Im not going to talk to you if you want to be aggressive!!#hands down I do not have the time or energy for that. thx <3 #i have more Thoughts about this but like really do not wanna go into it #if anyone wants to just like. message me directly about it tho. pls feel free

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leaves-and-inks · 1 year

Text

🌿 Sketches 🌿

Howdy! Here’s some bits and bobs from the past few months!! I decided to lay out my sketch posts differently! I took a bunch of photos around my house that I’ll change out per post :) I hope y’all like it!!

I hope to make that sketch of Aspen into a more finalized piece, even if that just means finishing the sketch. I think we’re playing D&D tomorrow for the first time in a few months and I’m very excited!! :D also a threw a little unicorn in b/c i didn’t know junicorn was a thing!! idk if i’ll do a full unicorn piece, but we’ll see!!

In other news, today was my physical therapy appointment and it went well!! As long as I do the exercises they gave me and take breaks, my wrist issues are pretty manageable :)

[ID: Pencil sketch of a wolf head on a white background edited onto a photo of flowers. The wolf faces right and has loose lines. In front of it on the left is a rough sketch of wolfsbane flowers. Below is a sketch of the bottom of its paw, and “Canis Lupus” handwritten. The sketch image has a drop shadow behind it, and the flowers in the background are pink and purple petunias. On the bottom left hand side rotated 90 degrees is handwritten text reading “leaves-and-inks”

Image 2: Pencil sketch of a scaled dragon head on a white background edited onto a photo of flowers. The dragon faces left and is cropped halfway down the neck. It has a large frill on its cheek, a beaked upper lip, and large, dark horns that point both in front and behind its head. The sketch image has a drop shadow behind it, and the flowers in the background are pink and purple petunias. In the bottom left corner is handwritten text reading “leaves-and-inks”

Image 3: Full body pencil sketch of Aspen, a deer satyr, on a white background edited onto a photo of flowers. She is sitting down facing left, her head turned 3/4 toward the viewer. She rests her left arm on the knee of her left leg, which is drawn in towards her torso. Aspen has a deer-like nose, antlers, ears, and legs. She has a neutral expression. And is wearing puffy, medieval inspired clothing with bark armor. Behind her is a very rough sketch of the shape of a deer head, neck, and ears. The sketch image has a drop shadow behind it, and the flowers in the background are pink and purple petunias. In the bottom left, rotated 90 degrees is handwritten text reading “leaves-and-inks”

Image 4: Pencil sketch of a unicorn on a white background edited onto a photo of flowers. Unicorn faces 3/4 left, with its head craned to look the opposite direction. It was blank eyes, a deer-like frame and ears, a goatee, a lion-esque mane, paws with feathering, and a long, flexible tail that points upwards. The sketch image has a drop shadow behind it, and the flowers in the background are pink and purple petunias. On the bottom left hand side rotated 90 degrees is handwritten text reading “leaves-and-inks”

Image 5: Pencil sketch of a dragon head on a mostly white background edited onto a photo of flowers. The dragon faces right and is cropped halfway down the neck. It has an underbite, blank eyes, a slight scaled background, small spikes on its cheek, and horns that divide; one part curling behind its head, the other following the neck. The sketch image has the beginnings of lined paper on the bottom, and a diagonal striped embellished border at the top, It also has a drop shadow behind it, and the flowers in the background are pink and purple petunias. In the bottom left corner is handwritten text reading “leaves-and-inks” /end ID]

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julietasgf · 1 month

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I have many ideas for the latam au, but I will answer that later or tomorrow because TODAY IS MARCH 15 JULI.

IT'S THE IDES OF MARCH. THE PERFECT TIME TO TELL YOU ABOUT RAFFLES - and to betray Caesar- 😈

I've been debating with myself whether I should try to summarize it or would it be more useful to send you a post that explained the plot but I have a terrible physical and psychological need to talk about Raffles when asked, so I'm sorry you'll have to endure verbal vomit about these books but before I lose my mind about the cricket boys, I'll lose my mind about your ocs ~

🥰 Vienna!!! My love!!! She sounds so interesting. I really wanted to know more about the journalist, so appreciated getting to know some of her background. Oh buddy, you can feel her frustration, as she tries to escape the dramatic world of racing only to end up stuffed to the bottom jsjsjs literal in a rabbit hole but she won't be able to complain about the lack of gossip

Oh and I read about Rodri. Im fine :)))) I haven't suffered any emotional damage that will leave sequels for life *I'm going to cry next to Ale for the rest of my days*

I only knew him for a couple of days but DAMN I didn't expect to lose him like that, Rodri didn't deserve to leave 😭😭😭😭 (not complaining tho, I actually love the angst and the idea of Ale spending the rest of his days affected by the love he lost AFTER THEY RECONCILIATED 👌 it's BRILLIANT AND TRAGIC)

And I appreciate that you told me what happened between them... I can only say that oh boi I need to hug Ale, at the end of the road he took the worst part although he had a good part of the blame in the argument doesn't take away that his lifetime trauma will not be taken away by anyone and oh poor Rodri, he also had his part of the blame but I can't imagine how much it must have hurt at the moment to realize that Ale wanted him in his shadow although yes it was very dramatic on his part to crash, f1 guys can't fight like normal boyfriends, they have to destroy their cars and put their lives at risk 😭

About the 2000s guys: IM GIGGLIN to the fact that THE STORIES ARE CONNECTING, EVEN IF IT'S SUCH A SMALL DETAIL AS ANDREA END UP ON ALE'S TEAM!!!!

🙏🙏🙏🙏 Andrea is an easy going it kid, vibe of be the sun, charming, friendly but full of pressure (and guilt) to be somebody because of his parents' sacrifice to support him in his career? THATS MY KIND OF GUY, he is my babygirl now. Im protecting him, I WILL FIGHT FOR HIM AND HIS HAPINESS

Also me: but Kimi kinda slay you know?

I LOVE THE MYSTERY, I LOVE THAT HE HAS A HORRIBLE RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS PARENTS -I know that sounds bad JSJSJJS BUT I MEAN THE CONCEPT-, I LOVE THAT HE IS FULL OF SECRETS AND THAT HE IS SUCH A PERFECT CONTRAST FOR ANDREA.

Btw although I'm really worried about Kimi's fate because you mentioned "he doesn't mind risking his life" and because he has substance addiction issues *panics* 😊

ABOUT DUNE 💖💖💖💖💖

I HAVEN'T READ THE BOOK EITHER FOR THE SAME REASONS. I SIMPLY BELIEVE DUNE MUST BE READ ON PAPER 🥺, it's worthy of that honor and other than that I read too much pdf already because of college. I need a break when I read something for fun even though I spoiled some things hehehehe

I LOVED THE FIRST MOVIE TOO. A lot of people say it's boring but I thought it was amazing, I can rewatch it a million times and never get tired of it because it's a visual and sound delight 😔🙏

Every day I confirm more and more that one of these days I must read and watch GOT, (I only saw the house of dragon; rhaelicent my beloved) jsjsjsjsjs but I guess you mean the wonderful political plot, and if that's it I agree that it's one of the best done and most interesting aspects that Dune has

Part 2 did not disappoint, Chani my girlfriend, I will treat her right 🥺💜, I really liked that we finally got to meet her, and that while she is Paul's love interest, she is her own person with her own ideals that she is true to. While it broke my heart to see her leave so disappointed, I was so glad that she was able to go her own way ah

OH BOI PAUL. 😭 I have a huge love- hate on him. I guess you've also seen these "my twink boyfriend turns bad" memes where people compare him to Anakin and Coriolanus; and while I see the similarities I think out of the three, Paul is the only one I'm a more willing to defend than the other two. The boy was born without much autonomy over his destiny - and body - and genuinely fought against the idea of being the messiah for the fremen because he was well aware that this was a bene g. project, and that he had no right to intentionally feed the lie any further. And his visions, they were terrifying and you could see the fear Paul felt for them: he really didn't want to unleash a war and was so willing to listen to Chani and fight by her side BUT WELL :)))) WE SAW WHAT HAPPENED AND YES I THINK THAT WAS THE WORST PART.

THE NERVE HE HAD TO SAY HE WAS MARRYING THE PRINCESS IN FRONT OF CHANI (and I think he had told her he loved her before, right?, UGHHHH WHAT MAKE IT WORSE)

The good news is that I have heard that most likely we will have a third part that will tie together all the loose threads that were left. I hope Chani ends well and that maybe she kicks Paul's ass <3

Now it's time.

The time has come *thunder my fingers* let's talk about Cricket AND CRIME!!!!

You should know that before my TBOSAS - Sejanus fever, my blog and my fics and my everything, was dedicated to Sherlock Holmes (the books please, I'M TALKING ABOUT THE BOOKS BECAUSE MY DETECTIVE HAS BEEN TREATED VERY BADLY BY THE ADAPTATIONS), and it was thanks to Sherlock Holmes that I discovered my cricket boys:

AJ Raffles and Bunny Manders!!!!

Pd: Here I leave another post saying why you should read these books

The connection between them and Holmes is that Arthur Conan Doyle's brother-in-law, Ernest Hornung, was inspired by Holmes and Watson when he make Raffles and Bunny and these stories also share a very close temporality (end of 19 century) to the one existing in Holmes stories

But let's begin:

The plot follows the association of Bunny Manders (Bunny is not his name, it's a nickname) with the infamous Arthur J. Raffles, the amateur cracksman.

Bunny and Raffles attended school together, but their paths diverged when Raffles (who is older than Bunny) graduates, until the two meet again years later and end up becoming partners in crime (and maybe they are partners not just in a particular type of crime, laws against homosexuality were a thing at the time...👀)

AJ Raffles is a famous cricketer. He is charming, handsome, and brilliant. He has a reputation for being rich and moving among exclusive high society circles but it's all a facade, because in reality he's broke, doesn't earn a penny playing cricket and can flaunt his luxurious lifestyle because he's a jewel thief. He steals from wealthy people in the exclusive circles he moves in.

And the story narrated by Bunny who has an anxious, nervous, fragile and intense personality. Who is an aspiring journalist and occasional poet, tells us about what he calls his "fall from virtue." (Although as someone who has already read the books, I can tell you that it is Bunny's recounting of the most important person in his life: Raffles)

Bunny is an unreliable narrator <3 I should clarify tha. It's fascinating to see how fickle his memory of Raffles (who we know only through his eyes). There are 3 books made up of short stories:

1. The Amateur Cracksman

2. The Black Mask

3. A Thief in the Night

All by E. W Hornung

You can read them on a page called Raffles redux, on Project Gunterbeng or there is a project called Letters from Bunny where they will send the stories to your email

WARNING: THEY WERE WRITTEM IN THE 1890s BY A BRITISH AUTHOR, I think that pretty much sums up the flaws and criticisms of the text although it is an interesting study of the dynamics of the social classes in London at the turn of the century and a glimpse into the criminal world of the time.

Ah yes, the reunion of Bunny and Raffles. The first story in the saga takes place on March 15 and is called:

The Ides of March

🤭

HELLOOO AND HAPPY IDES OF MARCH!!!! (1 day later tho, but still 😭)

(and also, can't wait to hear your ideas for the latam au, bc I'm this 🤏 close to asking you if I can write something abt it bc it's driving me CRAZY)

KSLSKLKS noooo don't say you're sorry, first bc I love hearing when ppl are passionate abt something, second bc I LOVE anything related to sports, and knowing now it's also related to crime and sherlock holmes made me even more interested!!! (but before let me answer abt my silly little guys)

poor vienna, all she wanted was to get out from the formula 1 world somehow because she knows abt how the drama is insufferable, and now she's deeper than ever, you can almost hear her screaming into the void and trying to explode her mom with her mind 😭 BUT at least she starts getting interested because it's really bizarre how the cycle never ends and just keeps going on and on

I'M SORRY ABT RODRI 😭😭😭 but welcome to the "mourning over rodrigo" club, founded by alejandro himself!! rodrigo deserved much better, even though his death was mostly a terrible accident. he was such a young driver with such a bright future ahead... and plus, he just reconciliated with alejandro, he missed him so much. things were fine. they were, really. also, it's worth saying that after this, alejandro spent the rest of his career as a team principal trying to reinforce the security for drivers and proposing changes to make it safer. each time a crash happened on the racetrack, that man was on the verge of fainting. and the worse is that... he could only think abt how things could've been different. maybe if alejandro was more mature, or if he listened to rodrigo, or if he tried to talk to him much before that crash... would it still happen? it's all so tragic (and that's why I made it that way ☝️

ale definitely got the worst, that man got a trauma for LIFE. racing was his passion, before rodrigo died he didn't intend to stop any soon, but after his death, he couldn't get inside a car without panicking. and things just weren't the same anymore, you know? he tried to go out in dates with other people, but he couldn't move on, he felt too guilty, he felt too bad about it ("trends change, rumors fly through new skies, but I'm right where you left me"). rodrigo was so hurt atp, because he believed alejandro wanted him alongside him, not below him; alejandro was treating him more like a decoration than anything and it HURT. but yeah, these two guys should've gone to therapy instead of risking their lives, racing boyfriends really are the worst 😭

(it's so funny what you said abt f1 guys not fighting like normal boyfriends and instead crashing their cars bc this actually happened a couple of times in real lifeKSLSKLSKLKLKS)

YESSSS THE STORIES ARE CONNECTED!!! :D that's also how vienna have it easy to be able to talk to these guys, because everyone kind of knows everyone somehow

ANDREA IS SO SWEET 😭😭😭 he's a sunshine, rlly. like, I always say that rodrigo is the devil, but tbf him and alejandro are kind of made for each other (nobody else would be able to stand them). but andrea is such a sweet guy who was unlucky to be teammates with kimi, from all people. he got a heart of gold, just wants to help and to not disappoint his parents after everything (he doesn't know they are already so proud of him, like, their son is a FORMULA 1 DRIVER, this is already so awesome!!!)

I love kimi so muchKSLSKLSK his whole character is just so fun, even though he's a prick. and yesssss in almost every single aspect, he's a foul to andrea!!! but at the same time, they have a lot in common (ahem, being so insecure about themselves and failing people around them, feeling alone while being surrounded of people, and, ofc, their unconditional love for racing and how it's their life).

(since you asked, and also because I can't keep my mouth shut... I particularly find kimi's fate to be more cruel than rodrigo's. he didn't die on the racetrack. atp of the story, kimi and andrea had a better relationship, and andrea knew more abt his secrets and some of kimi's reasons. kimi had just won this year's championship. he was supposed to be celebrating with the team, after all, they all worked so hard for it. but andrea notices kimi isn't around. he's worried, he knows kimi, he knows abt kimi's deal with his parents. he decided to go to kimi's hotel room. he found kimi so high, so drunk. andrea helped kimi clean up and they had an emotional talk, even though kimi was not sober. andrea promised he would help kimi, that kimi wouldn't need to go back to his parents again. he put kimi to sleep and left the hotel. the next day, andrea woke up with countless calls on his cellphone. kimi eriksen had died from an overdose on his hotel room during the night.)

BUT OKAY, LET'S TALK ABT DUNE, MY BELOVED:

YESSSSS dune is that book to be full of post-its and highlights, I CAN'T read that book on digital 😭 KLSKLSKLS ans yeaaaah absolutely, when you read too much pdf for college, it's just authomatic your brain will associate it with studying, while reading physical books become more associated with fun (plus, this is more personal now, but I love scribbling on my books, can't do that on digital)

yesssss I get why people say it's boring (it's rlly slow), but the worldbuilding is just so nice + it's gorgeous visually + LETO ATREIDES IS IN IT OKAY IT'S ENOUGH FOR ME. idc if it's boring, I would watch it 100 times for that man.

(pls read got, it's so worth it, even though I think we as a fandom collectively accepted we'll never get the ending 🙏)

((and also NO WAY YOU LIKE RHAELICENT TOO, THESE ARE MY GIRLS 😭 you know that when I prefer the adaptation rather than the original work it's bc they did something right, and when it's related to alicent and rhaenyra, I like the tv show sooooo much better actually, they gave so much more depht to their relationship which is basically non-existent in the book))

save me chani.... chani save me.... and yes!!!! I remember that everyone was so excited during the first dune bc of zendaya, but when it actually premiered, there was like 10 minutes of her in the whole movieKLSKSLSKL but I'm so glad we got to know her bc she's such an interesting character!!! and it's just like you said, she's actually her own character, and it's just really refreshing seeing this and seeing how they decided to wrap up her arc (specially in a science fiction franchise)

PAUL WAS SOMETHING ELSE. from the three, he's actually the one I genuinely like as a person; imo, I feel like he tried to resist until the very end, that was not what he wanted. he only gave in when he felt like there was no other choice, specially after the whole thing with the harkonnens..... that's what hurts the most regarding paul, I actually LIKED him. anakin and coriolanus, we knew who these guys were, we knew their end, we knew what was going to happen. but paul? we could have this hope that things would be different, that he could choose or change things. but... yeah, things end the way they do and I felt betrayed over a characterkslsklsk 😭

NAHHHHHHH HE WAS SO WRONG FOR THAT, SRSLY, I was so happy chani left at the end of the movie because she deserves so much better 😭 (I know things in the book are different, but in this case I'm willing to block my ears and go LALALALALA to pretend that only the movie exists)

and yessssss!!! from what I've searched, the first book ends exactly where the movie ended, but the little change of chani leaving can actually make such a big change on the story, and I'm really interested to know where this will lead (and plus, there's the whole thing with paul's little sister, which is also another loose end I'm excited to know more abt).

but now: CRICKET!!!!

buddie, I've seen some of your reblogs abt raffles and bunny, and I was like "oh, this reminds me of sherlock holmes a bit, the aesthetic and all" (even tho I've never read sherlock holmes, I could recognize the close temporality) and I kept wondering if the stories were connected, like some thrillers' I've read, that are on the same universe but with different characters, sometimes with the same detective, so I thought this was the case.

I'm kinda shocked to discover that its setting is about cricketLSKSLSKSLKS I WOULD'VE NEVER EXPECT THIS, AND I LOVE IT

(also, I've read the post, it won me at "it will KILL YOU" and "the incredible adventures of two broke idiots", specially because I myself am a broke idiot, so I related)

I like the concept of this so much???? first because, again, SPORTS, second because it's also mixed with crimes and aaaaaa it sounds so cool 😭 raffles sounds like a demon, I already love him (every generation have their own saltburn /jk). bunny sounds relatable (cries in crippling anxiety language) and the fact that not only he's an unreliable narrator, but we also only know raffles from his pov is really interesting, idk, there's something fascinating abt never rlly knowing a character bc you only know them from a sole point of view...

tysm for telling me abt it and also for telling me where to read it, I'm already writing down to read it ✍️ (I just can promise to read it soon bc I have a pile of books which are here for MONTHS and just today I came back to reading again 😭 BUT I'll definitely read it, the mix of crimes and sports got me hooked + the gay undertones too ofc, but tbf there's nothing gayer than sports)

(also the fact that their reunion is on the IDES OF MARCH, why do I get a feeling that this is not going to end very well for one of them? 🤠)

#ask #rambling #ocs #my silly little thoughts #also thank you sm for the interest on my ocs #it makes me so so so happy

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kingmojomonkey · 5 months

Text

Personal rant ignore (Dec 2023 part 2)

after a week the texts has stopped as i predicted im both glad/relieved as i knew it was stupid but also a teeny bit disappointed, but now at least i know that there is people i can be attracted to and want to talk to, that may actually like me back idk but its something at least...though they couldve at least liked the last message that is what i would do lol i might mute their insta stories for a few days just so i dont feel a type of way but also I'll put of a pic on mine hopefully looking alright haha but thats petty as shit and feeds into me wanting them to text when i know its dumb territory

Update 15 dec 2023, 5 days after the start of this post....so the texting didnt stop nor did i post something up, they had text me in like nearly 24hrs when i wrote this but at the weekend at 12.15am my time so 1.15am for them they text me, when clear they were out out/drinking it was an innocent text but i could tell they were out because of the spelling (i know they cant speak english good but it was different to their other texts and the time made me put 2 and 2 together) even though i was awake i didnt text back at that time haha that seemed like an even worse idea then the two of us texting normally does...i was suprised when it was deleted the next day and weve been continuing are texts since then its basically had only been one response to each per day and incredibly innocent and they had been sending some as voice notes as they said it was easier to speak then spell for them in english and hearing them say my name in the way that nonirish or british do (they say it as knee-cole rather than nih-cole) was a feeling haha....but yeah it had been incredibly innocent nothing i would be worried with cuz hey in my head maybe they couldve been just like nicole was a cool person that i met id like to keep in touch with them, because like i said its been incredibly innocent texts helped by only one message and a short one at that too...but today they implied slight more than you are just an interesting person as they added a 😙 to the end of their text (never one to flirt i had sent my normal 😊😅 alongside my replies to the text) as for their reply...they stupidly asked me about work even though i said im currently out of work because i dont start my new job until late january...and their reply was smooth and scary for me "ah that's good then that means we can text more 😏" with a fucking smirk emoji!!! like shit so it isnt all innocent which im still 50/50 because again were both dumb for texting each other diff countries diff languages etc etc, but know they know i dont work so i dont realistically have an excuse not to text them back for like 16hours which is shit haha but also like damn? and I cant really talk about this to anyone because it is all still fairly innocent and been going on for less than 2 weeks so i cant say it to my friend (the one who introduced us) as it is to early to mention when they could just stop talking to me tomorrow and as for my other friend shell think im stupid for responding hahahah

update 16 dec 2023

so I did reply and to my reply they said they were in work and theyd reply later which is fine especially knowing that i dont work rn, but a funny thing happened the slight flirtier text was that we could text more and they put the kissy emoji to the next evolution 😘 which dear god why i never know what to do but i liked it through the notifications bar, and the later on my walk checked that it sent and it did, but later in the evening when i very much knew theyd be off work especially because their timezone is an hour ahead i went to check my messages and it came up that i never opened their text the stupid like didnt send or unsent or something idk but that was funny and stupid for me and we text back and forth for a bit again very innocent...but they again was out with their friends and its clear that theyre someone who goes out or drinks at least every weekend, which shouldnt be suprisisng as thats how i met them, but it calls the stupidity of our interactions into question what if they get drunk and tell their friends they are still texting the girl from the drunken make out who lives in a different country and doesnt speak their language and that makes them realise were being stupid or if they drunk text me something big dumb or more realistically they meet someone else which is the most likely option and ill understand they wouldnt even have to warrant me a text they dont owe me anything that way, we literally made out once, but it will still disappoint me,....however as they have been getting brave again with their texts how am i meant to flirt and dear god if we make it to a sexting stage on what instagram that would be so fucking weird and also to what point unless they decide to do a trip to dublin (not staying with me) or gran can or some shit nothings ever going to happen...but this is just my stupid over thinking in question they could decide tomorrow to stop texting me or more realistically monday because theyll probs be out drinking again tomorrow, its only been like 12 days for all i know im just theyre manic pixie dreamgirl that blew in from a different country and had a slight interest in them and gave them more confidence then they generally do apparently (my friend and the other girl that knew them was suprised that they went in for a kiss and a long one at that) and when the idea of me goes so will the texting idk everrytime is dumb and i also like the idea and the possibility of them but is the fact that they are unattainable realistically the draw? idek lol

Update 17 dec 2023

So they were out last night, they had sent me a love heart at end of last text, but i was pretending to go out too so the text had just said speak to you tomorrow followed by ooh have fun too with the heart, which i just liked because that doesnt warrant a reply because all i could of said was okay or thanks...and they haven't text me all day, maybe the copped on that i have sent a kissy emoji or genuine heart emoji back or maybe they just realised the whole situation is dumb i dunno but either that was a last text or theyll text me in a day or too i just know i cant be the one to text again today, the ball is in their court because i know for the next month at least that im not going to see/make out with anyone -unless i go out to either of my uni friends but they both have partners so its not like we'd be going clubbing lol so chances of that are slim- so idm texting harmlessly and getting to know them and a bit of flirting but they are going to be the one who will have to either ignore my existence or straight out say something either like we'll see where this takes us or this is dumb lol.....its been a few hours after i wrote this last piece and it is very much clear to me that i want them to text and that scares me...because do i like them or do i just like the attention i have gone from at least 4 non family people (in ibiza i was surrounded by other roughly my age or in same experience and in college i was too) now it is only my mam and sisters, so is it the attention of someone who is not a family that i like or do i like them? and like clearly i like them enough that i gave them my insta and made out and danced with them that night when i had another option that night (a friend of theirs who tried too too hard) and to be honest they do seem like a genuine person their job is okay, they spend time with friends and family and theyre really sweet.....and this is a problem for me because i have caught the slightest of feelings for them or even just to see where this goes which could literally be already done by now if they dont reply until tomorrow because idk and yes i could easily text them and just be like hey how was your day but its 21.37 there now and i know they do be up early early like 6am so it would be late for them if i text now and also if they did meet someone last night i dont want to pop up as a notification ugh i shouldve text earlier but now its too late idk idk idk idk why am i so awkward

Update 18 Dec 2023

I kinda gave myself panic attack over the situation...because in my head i was like oh if they text me in the morning before they go to work its fine but they didnt and then i was also thinking maybe because i just liked their last message maybe they thought i wasnt interested and that was panicking me (when in reality it is more than likely because they realised its dumb that we text) so idk...but i left them a text there just hey how are you how was your weekend and a smiley face if they dont reply in 2 days i know its over (and id go in and delete my message lol) and they judt reply with good and no extension message I'll know and I'll try to fizzle it out like i was initally...it just fucks me up more because they had got a bit more flirty in the last couple of days if they hadnt i wouldve been fine leaving it the way it was idk but i feel like a dumb bitch for getting anxiety over it...update from many hours later, they did reply (though had i not text I'll never know if they weren't going to) and it was nice...then they later asked me for my actual phone number for whatsapp because it's somehow easier there idk idk what change having them on whatsapp will be but it who knows....however whatsapp in general scares me because i always feel so close to accidently writing or ringing the wrong person

Update 21 Dec 2023

So they added me on whatsapp and the texts continued they have been sending some kissy emojis and hearts and shit, though the conversations has been still very innocent...they sent a photo of themselves (and their mother technically haha) and though their head is probably the length of my torso because they are super tall they are still cute, which meant i was suppose to text them back a pic and i stupidly forgot to put it on the once off picture thing which sucks so it means they just straight up has my pic now but its an alright one im literally outside with my jacket hood pulled up and shit jaha....but they text me something brave and i dunno how to feel about it lol, like i get their idea because why would we bother to text if not to eventually meet up, basically they figured out I'm free until the end of jan and said they might potentially come to dublin....scary thought but exciting nonetheless...if they did come though, they must get a hotel cuz they cant stay with me and i would prefer if they came with a friend so there wouldnt be an immense pressure on me because we dont really speak the same language so of they came with a friend they can still do things together and then maybe we could meet up and if they did decide to come desr god let it only be for like 1 night 2 max because again so much pressure...but also if someone who i only made out with once and just very innocently text since flies to my country in the hope of going on a date/fucking me how would my ego ever recover lol...when they said about possibly coming to dublin i just replied with ooo that would be nice, as thats not a yeah totally book it in or its not a ew why would you do that its potentially like a maybe...but i was also talking to my friend and i do need to make it clear that im going to gran can and i wont be able to easily hop back and forth to amsterdam like maybe when im in mallorca it would be easier but who knows lol its crazy and i feel like i need to text the friend whos in amsterdam for more advice lol but shes going to think im so fucking dumb for texting them but she is also the most romantic out of us all so i think she would be the most like aw no way but i need to make sure she is in ibiza when i text haha so she cant spread it to her friends and it gets back to them that ive been talking about them....also theres the possibility that it won't happen and the possibility that between now and new years even that they'll meet somebody else and all will be done so idk whether its worth it to tell her ill wait until the 27th of dec to tell her thats 6 days I'll see what happens there....and also the weird thing about the texting is weve never been like oh i like you or your cute or hot or whatever and they had been sending the emojis and i was just sending back smileys but when they said goodnight after the dublin thing i sent back a love heart for the first and i havent got a reply but f them i replied first the other time they can text if they want to if not fine

Update 22 Dec 2023

so they still havent replied since i did the love heart with the goodnight and tonight is friday so theyll be defo going out so I'm probably not going to get a text again i think that was it lol but im going to post a pic to my insta later and one of the field on whatsapp to get them to maybe see it lol...in a very insecure insecure way im thinking why when i finally send them back a heart after them sending it to me and me just doing smileys have they not text the insecurity in me is thinking were they only texting to see how long or what would make me send something back or express emotion i know that a shitty insecure way to think but it is where im at right now like even if they had replied at all yesterday or today it wouldve been better i wish i didnt put the heart at the end of it because it came up seen and all so they clicked onto it....well at around 9 ill post a picture on insta so theyll see it and i wonder if then ill get a text lol.....they viewed my story so like why not just text me, i know i said it would be okay if they stopped and it would but like not on a vulnerableish text if even if it was just a hear emoji lol...and more so like why did they get me on whatsapp, why didnt they just leave it with insta, they text for a couple of days and brave texts too on whatsapp for what reason? at least had it of just been insta you could just let if fizzle out like but why oh why....and the annoying thing is i do really want them to text but i really cant be the one to text back this time i also have been on my period for this journey which also isnt helping so i dont know how much my emotion is my own or just dumb hormones but still ghosting after them last few messages wtf

Update 24 Dec 2023

So it's been 4 days since the last text so I think thats that, shit that the end was at xmas and I also was on my period so i was feeling the hormones hard, but i really don't see them texting again and i am not going to as my 'goodnight 💕' was the last text so it really is on them, and i know 4 days isn't really a long time but when it had been a text or half text everyday it does seem like a lot...and unless i get a text tomorrow or the 26 saying sorry i was busy or just merry xmas how are you i will make no attempt to text them back....but again why ghost after getting flirty mentioning dublin and finally get the heart off me why dip then? dip when it was just how are you good what about you dip at boring times not when things are getting flirty but whatever i have know since the start that it was dumb dumb...but i am self aware enough that i know ill probably panic write about this over the next week lol

Update 25 Dec 2023

will i be desperate and send them a merry christmas even though they never text? it is such a desperate plea for a text and they could ignore it or worse like it its just going 10pm there will i chicken out out is it way to desperate will i leave until 10.30 here so its 11.30 there so it will seem like a drunk text who knows not me will update later....desperate me left a merry christmas 😊 text ew i hate myself for it lol

Update 28 Dec 2023

They did reply and weve been texting a bit again just really about xmas and families stuff like that...I can tell that they too, are insecure, from two separate mesage interactions one was the sent a picture off the table of an afters party and then basically sent an oh shit that on the table wasnt from me (a bag of weed was what they were implying, but everyone in my fam smokes it and they're from amsterdam and it was only weed and alchol on the table lol) which i thought was funny because like why send the pic apart from to show off that they were out lol but when i said i didnt care they were oh i was worried when i realised what was in the photo (i think nah i think they wanted my opinion on weed lol) the 2nd insecure thing was when we were talking about family i asked them was there family big and they responded but they are a multiple small texts texters whereas im paragraph texter but if you join the small texts it basically makes one paragraph text lol and yes my response to what they were saying was a bit dry but i was responding hours later and it was more of a statement that they had sent rather than something i could yes and, and then a good while later they replied, and i paraphrase, "four messages one story a little too enthusiastic 😅" initially i thought it was a dig at my response and like it is kinda because it implies that while they feel like they overshared it didnt seem like i was interested or something idk but it shows that they were insecure enough about their interest in texting me that they text me that if that makes sense? While i am not one to be puffing up someones ego i did text them back that it was realisticaly 2 sentences and they were responding to something i had asked (i didnt add this part but it wasnt like they randomly volunteered the info) but thats the end of the insecurity shit....so yeah weve been texting again id say only because i started up the texting again and theyve sent like a hi with a heart and a goodnight with like a smiley or like kissy emoji but again tonight when they sent goodnight with the kissy emoji i only replied with the blushy smiley because after i sent the heart the last time i got ghosted lol so we'll see im not going to start the texts tomorrow so well see if they do who knows (while it seems desperate i am not going to say i wont text them im giving myself until new years eve to be desperate and text lol i needed something to do in this time void until then lol)

Update 30 Dec 2023

The texting continued bla blah blah but theyve asked me to facetime tomorrow which fucking scares me! Im awkward enough in texts/in person but video call is even worse? and how the fuck am i meant to look good and not worry and it is also nye tomorrow and how will i not be overheard if theyre getting ready to go out? or worse again if im minding my nephew i cant exactly sneak away for a facetime (also i dont have facetime so itll have to be on whatsapp) dear god this is awkward!!......this is from 4pm the following day - i replied to them pretty late but still replied, i had said "yeah sure" to the facetime and then they had they had been with there friends so i just said "cool, i was watching a movie with my sisters" which would also explain the longer wait time in replying...they 'seen' the message just before 9am this morning and just never replied lol, which again like the time with the hearts is annoying because why ghost after you get me to reply the way you wanted me too? i never suggested facetime (it literally never even crossed my mind as an option lol) so like were they drunk when they text it yesterday and realised this morning and chickened out idk idk but still it would be easy to ignore the facetime part and still text...but in anyways i had sent the reply and they havent responded and it wasnt even a goodnight or have fun that didnt respond to so its not like a hey new day text so its a bit more awkard.....

Update 31 Dec 2023 NYE

okay so out of no where no where no pretext which is so strange like bro we havent done a videocall before you can't just randomly ring after not texting and never calling before...i did have make on and my hair done but i was in my pjs haha i never locked my phone sceeen as fast hahaha...ovo i didnt answer i waited 15mins and said oh sorry i didn't see it i was having some food and they were like oh whoops or some shit and i said if you give me 5 mins i could and they said they were at a friends? what in 15 mins bahaha but i said maybe another time then because i dont want our first call to be infront of their friends like wtf and they said the same but now theyre like oh ill text you if theres a right moment like okay? idk....they calls randomly again i answer, and theyre saying theyre nervous etc but they are saying this as fireworks are going off in the background and as theyre walking and i cant hear shit because its all crackling and all and then theyre trying to say about their english and im just nodding being like its okay etc meanwhile i cant hear shit hahaha they said theyll ring me at 12 which is grand for me cuz thats 11 hahaha unless they call at 12 my time then thats a bit more awkward...no ring thankfully as things got fucked up at up at home at that point but they did text later but again they were drunk i also didnt reply until like 4 today as i was babysitting and just really tired haha but they replied, i sent back a quick reply to which they seen but never replied so as the saying goes idk if that was it lol...also i almost told the girl who introduced that we still text but everytime they dont reply im like this is why i havent bothered hahaha because i dont want to make it a big deal but when she returns to amsterdam she could bump into them plus if she happens to go out to the same group the group all know as they sent me random pics of the group or with people from the group in the background so they have more than likely mentioned theyre still texting the short irish girl, so i would feel weirder if she found out not by me but i also dont want to text her in case she makes it into a thing or worse talks to them about it lol but idk im leaving my own country in less than a month so idek what im doing in anyways....i still want them to text though lol why is everytime i say something about the situation to one of my friends they then proceed to ghost....and i had said id allow myself to be stupid until new years eve but idk i can be the one to text again like will thie happen each time theyre drunk idk

Update 3 Jan 2024

The text from new years day has still gone unreplied so i think ive been ghosted (they currently have a story up on their insta but i havent clicked it yet) so it kinda sucks that ive been ghosted i did like texting them and it had been texting albeit short mostly innocent texts for a month, but it sucks that the ghosting came after the like video call and shit do they only have confidence to text when drunk idk....but my friend that introduced us i had to tell because she returned home and she does go out with the them and their friends and they had been sending me pics with such friends in the photos so they probably knew that they were texting me, so i didnt want my friend to go out and them mention something and her not know...i made her promise not to tell i spoke of it tho..but it sucks i had to tell her at the same time of ghosting lol....they had put up a story a random ass one i wonder whether it was to see if i see it but then again theyre the one leaving me on read so idk but then i put on my winter insta ?carrousel? can't spell the word, and they liked it! brooooooo why i get that it could just be im strangely friends with this girl ill give it a like but brroooooooo dont leave me on read then like my post! i do like that they liked it tho!....and ive been in some sorta 'mood' that i havent been in for months so i wish they were in my city and obviously talking to me lol...and also they were so sweet and shit i am a dumb dumb dumbbbbb bitch i shouldve never replied more the day i came back to ireland lol i knew i was being a thick but ah well.... and depending how other things go in the morning i might text them

Update 17 Jan 2024

so it has been a while since i last updated...i did indeed text them that time, im kinda glad i did because we are still texting now...

and we did a like 15/20min video a week or so ago and it was really nice tbh like dont get me wrong it was very basic but i could feel that i was smiling the whole time or trying to hold the smiles in and it wasnt like they were saying anything to particular make me smile i think (puke emoji) it was just there presence?

i also definitley think their mam knows about me, i know the friends do already because they would send me pics with them...but the mam thing yeah, when the vid call started the mam started saying something in dutch to them and they were speaking back and they turn to me and was just like oh she is going to bed now and the mam shouted to the phone in english goodnight which means it was directed for me...but to be fair it is just them and their mam and they were going to be doing a call in a language that is native to them with a person of a different gender and if it was a friend they ovo couldve just spoken dutch to them so i get they mightve had to explain but still haha...

in the call i made it clear as well that my job will be in gran can (i didnt say for how long) but to be fair it is still in europe and the summer placement will be europe too i get gran can is further than ireland but like either way wed have to get on a plane to see each other so idk man

but yeah were still texting and its been cute i had a awkward one with a pic that i forgot to set to one time view...i make sure that i only would send pics id feel comfy with being on my story but the one i sent them was slightly a bit more booby lol

#nicoletxt #personal

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