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am-i-the-asshole-official · 4 months

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AITA for not helping my family pay for hospital bills?

🎷🔥 so i can find it later

This is going to need a lot of context right off the bat. I (20'sM) am a gay man that comes from an extremely conservative family. My sister (20'sF) is also a lesbian and recently got married and adopted a child. I'm very proud of her, but that's not the issue.

My parents seem to have little to no issue with my sister marrying a woman. They do have a very big issue with me liking dudes, however. Like, it was the reason my parents got divorced "big issue." I'm not gonna go into everything, but my sister ended up with my dad and I stayed with my mom for reasons I'd rather not share.

Our last parting was on... less than decent terms. Upon finding out that I was of the homosexual variety, my dad flipped his lid. He called me several slurs and said some other very hurtful things, and even made moves to physically attack me. My mom, also a very homophobic woman, stepped in and thankfully talked him down. Then divorce, etc etc.

I saved up enough money to move out when I turned 18 and may have done some impulsive things including completely trashing my mom's bathroom, which I know I'm definitely the asshole for, but in my defense my mom kept "forgetting" to pick up my prescriptions and I was manic (I have bipolar). But, again, I know I'm the AH for that.

I now live with my two best friends R (20sNB) and P (20sM) in a house we all pay for. R comes from money so they help out a lot, and I love them both to death. We kind of have a sort of situationship but none of us are poly? Idk it's weird we're just going with it rn.

Anyway, I bring them up bc we all went to my sister's wedding together, and my parents separately chewed me out for bringing them (and for R daring to wear a dress. They're amab for context) and I obviously argued back bc hey they're my best friends and my sister specifically said it was okay for me to bring them (she and R are also friends and they wouldve been invited regardless of me bringing P) and also because R looks very good in a dress and i can handle them shit-talking me but i will not tolerate slander towards R or P.

At the wedding, I went full no contact with them and told them to lose my number. They, ofc, did Not lose my number and I got several calls from extended family saying about what you would expect them to say, so I switched numbers and gave only my sister and her wife my new number.

My sister. I love her to pieces but sometimes she gets on my nerves. She gives my number to my mom to have "just in case," but she reassures me that she won't give it to my dad or any other family. So far, she's made good on that promise, I just have to deal with periodic calls about getting a girlfriend and having kids.

Now, my dad isn't the healthiest guy out there. He has arthritis, osteoporosis, and several other things that i don't really wanna get into. As he's aged he's only gotten worse and there have been several times he's almost died, but recently he's been put on hospice and has an estimated Not Very Long to live.

Here's where I may be the AH. My dad calls me while I'm at a very important, personal event for R (he got my number from my mom) and goes on a long rant on how I'm an unlovable disgrace and how he fed me and clothed me and I could make up for all that by helping him pay off hospital debt. I say no immediately and tell him that he's never been my dad, only my dna donor, and that he's going to be dead anyway and that selling his house could cover all the bills. He calls me many more names and tells me he wishes I was never born (calling my mom some very derogatory names too (she's asian)) and that i should just go ahead and off myself to save the world someone like me. I tell him he should die faster while he's at it because God knows the world already has enough bigots in it and there could never be too many mentally ill queers.

I hung up, but now I'm thinking I went a bit too far. AITA for not helping out with his hospital bills and yelling at him?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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bradshawssugarbaby · 1 month

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Do I? - Beau Simpson x Reader

a/n: I've been wanting to write for Beau for a while (I love Jon Hamm and this is a hill I am willing to die on), so here's my first one for him. Inspired loosely by Do I? by Luke Bryan.

pairing: Beau Simpson x reader

warnings/content: angst to fluff, mentions of divorce if you squint, Beau being kinda soft, allusions to smut, allusions to child ab*se, Beau doesn't always know how to show his emotions but damn it he tries his best.

word count: 1.9k

taglist: @nouis-bum, @jessicab1991, @b-bradshaw, @ahopelessromanticwritersworld

Do I turn you on at all when I kiss you, baby? Does the sight of me wanting you drive you crazy? Do I have your love? Am I still enough? Tell me don't I? Or tell me, do I, baby Give you everything that you ever wanted? Would you rather just turn away and leave me lonely? Do I just need to give up and get on with my life? Tell me, baby do I get one more try?

Beau grumbled as he walked through the door, his keys dropping into the catch-all dish on the table with a clatter. His brows knit together as he looked around the room, searching for any sign of you being home. His tired blue-green eyes blinked as he raked a hand over his face, trying to wake himself up as he searched the house for you. Calling your name to no response, he furrowed his brow as he pulled his phone from his pocket. He frowned as he saw there were zero missed calls and zero missed messages from you, a sign that you were truly mad at him this time.

He let out an exhausted sigh as he slumped into the armchair in the living room, picking up a discarded baseball your son had forgotten to put away and rolling it in his hands, over his fingers and back as his mind ran over the events that unfolded that morning.

He hadn’t meant to be cold towards you or Dylan. He’d been stressed and overworked, struggling with an upcoming mission that he had to plan out, trying to ensure the right team was put together for the job. Combing through dozens of personnel files until his eyes were sore, staying up all hours of the night trying to create an action plan, briefing notes - he rarely left base anymore. He knew you’d felt neglected, and God, he hated making you feel that way. He hated that you felt unwanted, unloved, and yet, you did everything you could to still make life easier for him. He knew he didn’t deserve that. In fact, he knew he didn’t deserve you–your patience, your understanding, your love and affection. He didn’t deserve to be Dylan’s father either, not that he’d been a particularly good one anyway.

Dylan had a baseball tournament coming up, and you’d asked Beau if he’d be able to make it. Dylan’s team had never been invited to play before, but they’d managed to make it to a statewide tournament, teams from all over California would be there with their children, ages 8-10. The Coronado Crowns were having a record season, and Dylan had begun to emerge as their star pitcher. When you’d asked him about it, he’d had a dozen other things on his mind - he couldn’t even remember you mentioning it in the first place, if he was honest. He figured he’d hummed along in response, not hearing what you’d said, but not wanting to give off the impression he wasn’t listening.

Unaware of what he’d agreed to, Beau bounded down the stairs this morning, his footsteps heavy as he headed to the kitchen. He was running late, and barely had time to have coffee with you, but he was determined to at least kiss you good morning before heading out the door. You’d frowned at him when you saw him in uniform, and immediately, his mind began to race, running through a list of scenarios that could have upset you. He wasn’t the most romantic husband - he knew that, but he was sure he’d never forgotten an anniversary or a birthday. It wasn’t until Dylan came down in his baseball uniform, his duffel bag packed for the four-day tournament slung over his shoulder. His face fell as he looked at Beau, an instant wave of guilt washing over Beau’s face.

“I’m sorry, I forgot, buddy, listen, I really have to get this done at work, I have a briefing scheduled for today, I can’t miss it,” Beau had explained, trying to reason with his 9 year old son.

“I get it, Dad, it’s ok,” Dylan shrugged before sitting down at the breakfast nook for some scrambled eggs.

“We’re leaving at 10, get to Oakland for about 8 tonight,” you explained, nodding your head as you forced a smile in Dylan’s direction.

Beau let out a frustrated sigh, of course you weren’t home now - you left four hours ago. You were halfway to Oakland by this point. He leaned his head back against the chair, shutting his eyes for a moment as he dragged his hand over his face once more. He knew he’d fucked up. He knew he’d let you both down. He checked his phone again. If he left now, he could probably make it to you and Dylan by 11 if he made minimal stops on his way. He could make this right, he could show up tonight, surprise you - surprise Dylan in the morning when he woke up, spend the weekend being the father and husband he’d failed to be for the last month or so.

Beau bolted up the stairs, quickly changing out of his uniform and into more relaxed, civilian clothes. He grabbed a bag from the closet and began to shove some clean clothes inside, showing little care about keeping them neat or organized. He headed to the bathroom, grabbing his toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant and his razor, tossing them all into the bag in a hurry. Bounding back down the staircase, he stepped into his running shoes and flew out the door with his keys and bag in hand. A well-loved baseball cap from his college days sat in the front seat - a relic he’d meant to bestow to Dylan but forgotten about. He placed the cap on his head, sporting it backwards, just as he would have done 30+ years ago when he got it.

As he drove down the interstate, he thought about the ways he could apologize to you. His mind ran through all the things you liked, the romantic gestures he’d heard you mention, the different romcom tropes you loved - anything he could think of that could make up for what he’d lacked in as a husband. When he stopped for dinner, pulling into a fast-food restaurant just off the highway, he contemplated what he’d say when you asked him if he was insane, knowing that was exactly how you’d respond to hearing that he drove down after all, determined not to miss a minute of Dylan’s tournament. He thought about how he’d pull you in close, giving you an emblazoned, passionate kiss as he held you in his arms, giving a rare, dramatic, public display of affection. He yawned as he pulled into the parking lot of the hotel you were staying at with Dylan, finding an open spot next to your car. He got out, smiling fondly as he spotted the bedazzled steering wheel cover that he always teased you about - the one he’d begrudgingly bought for your birthday when you’d asked for it, pretending to find it ridiculous when really, he was admiring you for it, for being so unashamedly yourself. It was a quality he was jealous of in you - he’d been brought up in an old-school military family, taught to be seen and not heard, to blend in with everyone else and to remain reserved the majority of the time. He rarely cracked a smile outside of the house, and really, even wearing a baseball cap outside of a Padres game was unlike him.

He approached the front desk with a look of pure determination on his face, his bag clutched in his hand. Once he made it to your room, he rapped on the door with a gentle knock, trying not to make too much noise in the hopes he didn’t wake Dylan. You opened the door, looking ready to chew out whoever it was knocking for waking you, but your look of anger quickly dissipated as you wrapped your arms around Beau tightly.

“You flew down here?!” You whispered excitedly, arms draped around his neck.

“No, flights were booked,” Beau shook his head with a chuckle, a soft smile forming on his lips, “I drove.”

“You…you drove?”

“Mhmm, all nine hours. I’m surprised I made it before midnight, I finished my briefing early, managed to get the plans set for the mission, and then got home and realized I had time to fix things with you and Dylan.”

“He’ll be so excited. He was devastated at the thought of you not making it to see him play.”

“Look, I have to talk to you, ok?” He began, shaking his head as he let out an awkward chuckle, frowning as he tried to collect his thoughts.

“I’ve been the worst husband to you. I know I have. I know I’ve made you feel unloved, and unwanted, and unimportant, and I’m sorry. I never wanted to make you feel that way. I’ve never wanted our marriage to be strained over my work, and I know my job is demanding and it’s difficult some days for me to put you and Dylan first - but believe me, I love you two more than anything. You know that, right? And, I know you probably aren’t happy with me - I don’t blame you. I know you probably wanted to divorce me ten minutes ago, and you’re complete right in thinking that - I would have deserved it.”

You pressed your lips to his gently, interrupting his rambling with a soft, tender kiss. He pulled away gently, reaching up to take the baseball cap off of his head before ducking down to kiss you again. He pulled away after a moment, breathless and blissful as he gazed at you.

“So, am I still enough for you? Do you want me to leave or do I get another chance?”

“You’ve always been enough, Beau,” you shook your head, beaming up at him, “Even when you forget commitments and you get caught up with work, or when you don’t always say the right thing, you always make up for it and try to fix things, and that’s one of the things I love about you. You drove nine hours when you realized you couldn’t catch a flight down here because you realized how much it meant to Dylan and I for you to be here. I don’t know many other men who’d drop everything on a dime to do that.”

“I guess that’s true,” he nodded, shaking his head in disbelief before leaning in to kiss your cheek. “I mean it though, I really think you could have done better than a middle-aged Admiral who can’t show his emotions very well and doesn’t know how to prioritze anything correctly.”

“You’re right, I could have, but where’s the fun in that?” You teased, taking the baseball cap from his hand and placing it back on his head, backwards.

“By the way, Beau, you should wear a hat like this more often.”

“Yeah? You think so?”

You bit your lip seductively, holding back a wicked grin as you looked up at him, nodding your head, “Kinda makes me wanna show you just how much I love you.”

“Dylan’s asleep in here,” he laughed, shaking his head as his cheeks flushed.

“Dylan is sleeping in Ryder’s room, three doors away, actually.”

Beau’s eyes widened slightly, his hands drifting down to your hips. He raised an eyebrow as he looked at you, turning his head to the side to scan the room, seeing that, you were in fact, alone. When he turned, you caught a glimpse of the salt and pepper streaks that ran through his hair on the side of his head, the sight alone almost enough to make you melt.

“Well, in that case, let me show you just how sorry I am.”

#beau cyclone simpson #beau cyclone simpson x reader #beau cyclone simpson x you #beau simpson #beau simpson x reader #beau simpson x you #beau simpson fic #beau cyclone simpson fic #top gun: maverick #top gun: maverick fic

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shadeysprings · 9 months

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OxyTOXIN - Epilogue

—Lloyd Hansen x F!Reader

Summary — The truth about Lloyd's change breaks you in more ways than one.

Warnings — implied n0nc0n, violence, Lloyd being very mean, and some other dark themes.

A/N — Still on my break from this site but I thought I'd give you guys this one tonight. Unbeta so may be sloppy.

As always, your feedback is highly appreciated and your reblogs would be amazing. And of course, I hope y'all enjoy! ❤️

It’s been days since Lloyd came home, days since he almost killed you.

Since returning from his work trip, your relationship with Lloyd has changed drastically. No longer does he look at you with love in his eyes, instead, his stares are intimidating, and menacing, making you walk on eggshells around him for fear that if you make a wrong move he would once again try to attack you.

And his touches, gone are times he would hold you as if you were a delicate flower. Now, he paws at you greedily and when you would object, he would get rough, leaving bruises on your skin with the harsh way he would grab you.

You don’t understand why he’s acting this way, why he’s treating you as nothing more but a toy to play with. At nights, after he’s finished taking you, you’d rack your brain trying to think of reasons he would suddenly make you feel as if you meant nothing to him.

You’ve never cheated on him, never lied to him, he knew all your secrets despite you knowing so little about him. You trusted him with your life and most of all, loved him with all your heart. You thought he felt the same, he showed you he did—made you feel like he did, but now, you don’t know.

So you made your decision and packed your bags, a letter left on the side of his bed. He’s not the Lloyd you fell in love with, you’re not even sure if he would ever come back but one thing you’re certain of is that this is not the life you envision yourself having, not the life you wish to die in.

It’s already midnight and he still hasn’t come back from when he left that morning, a sign you take as a relief but also one that breaks your heart. Grabbing your bag, you tiptoe down the hall, still cautious not to make a sound; the living room is still dark after you’ve cleaned up the house.

You double-check your phone, rereading Riley’s last message. She’s still at your old apartment and your old bedroom still vacant. She’s more than happy to have you back and without you even realizing it, you missed her terribly. Maybe she could help you understand why Lloyd has been acting in such a way, maybe she can help you move on.

Slowly, you make your way to the front door, ready to say goodbye to the life you’ve learned to love but before you could even take hold of the knob, a lamp flickers on and you stand in shock to see Lloyd sitting on the armchair, a bloody gash decorating his cheek and his hair disheveled.

Your first instinct is to go to him, to ask what happened but you stop when he asks, “Just where do you think you’re going?” There’s ice in his voice, anger boiling deep within, and immediately, the concern you felt earlier recoils and is now replaced with fear.

You take a step back when he stands from his seat, your hand slackening and dropping your bag with a thud on the marble floor. You try to speak, to tell him that you’re done enduring the pain he continues to bring you but you don’t get the chance when he lunges at you, his hand grabbing your arms and pinning you against the door, the back of your head hitting the wooden surface.

“You think you can leave me?” He snarls, eyes dark and unloving. “As soon as you step out that door, you have nothing. Nothing but me.”

“I’d rather have nothing than be with you!” You shout, eyes brimming with tears as you struggle against his hold.

But his reaction takes you off guard, the rage in his eyes dwindling down and his lips twitching to a frown. His hold on you softens, completely releasing you but keeping his hands pressed against the door.

“What?” He asks, voice soft and uncertain. “You’d rather not have me?”

“I’m just confused, Lloyd!” You cry, covering your face with your hands as you do. “Since you came back, it feels like you changed. You keep hurting me and you always look at me like I’ve done something wrong.” You sniff, unable to compose yourself any longer with how your emotions continue spilling out of you. “As much as it hurts me to leave you, I cannot take this anymore! You’re not the man I fell in love with.”

You did it. You let your heart out and you only pray that Lloyd would truly release you from your misery. But his hands move and press gently against your face, thumbs wiping away the tears that spill non-stop. He frowns and breathes out heavily before wrapping his arms around you, holding you tight against him.

The confusion takes you back but it dies out almost instantly. You clutch him tight and sob against his shirt, keeping him close as your heart blooms upon feeling that gentle touch once more.

“Little Doll—I’m so sorry.” He mutters against your hair, his hand caressing your back and then cradling the back of your head.

“I thought you didn’t love me anymore.” You mumble against his shoulder, breathing in his scent.

But the peace that cocoons you is disrupted by a laugh, sickening and taunting, and you pull away only to look up at Lloyd who gives you a playful smirk, wincing when the hand around the back of your neck tightens.

“What made you think I did?”

“Wha—” You’re once again pushed against the door, harder this time and the fear only floods back tenfold when you see the devilish smile on his face. “Lloyd—I don’t understand.”

“Oh come on.” He groans. “Did you really think someone would fall in love with you?” He looks you up and down, disgust etched on his face. “You’re holes are the only thing good about you—maybe your cooking too but that's it. I never loved you. I was bored so I played the role of the perfect boyfriend to see if I can fool some floozy and it worked.” He laughs once more but you can’t hear it against the deafening shatter of your heart.

He fooled you. He used you. And you were stupid enough to fall for it.

“But I got bored of that too and now, I’m back to doing things how it should be.” He snickers and gives your head a pet, moving your face away when he tries to place a kiss on your forehead.

You feel nothing but anger and pain, your vein seering in rage as you stare up at the man who you once thought was the love you’ve been searching for. You try to pull away from him, intent on pushing on with your plan of leaving. Yet such an attempt is fruitless when he slaps you across the face, shocking you once more and you gasp and claw at his arm when he grabs you by the neck, your head getting heavy when he squeezes.

“But I’m not done with you yet—in fact, I might keep you for a while. Play with you a little longer.” He then gropes your tit through your shirt, giving it a hard squeeze before his hand trails down your stomach and to your dress, lifting the skirt up your waist.

“And guess what time it is little doll.” Another gasp is pulled from your throat when he rips the fabric of your skirt, the sound of his zipper filling your ears. “It’s time to play.”

#lloyd hansen #lloyd hansen x reader #dark lloyd hansen #dark!lloyd hansen #the gray man #au #oxytoxin #shadeysprings fics #chris evans characters

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missingkittyfan · 2 years

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YANDERE BARISTA OC X GN READER

warnings: yandere themes, mention of death (the loss of a family member), mentions of depressive episodes, obsessive thoughts, unhealthy mindset

Aaron let out a quiet sigh as he prepared the coffee for the customer, tiredly looking at the glass window - it's been a stressful day so far since he's been dealing with grouchy, unreasonable customers. Getting complaints about their drink not being done right even though he does it by order, making sure the ingredients are correct. He wished this shift could be over already, not really wanting to do anything else for the entire day. A lot of things were on his mind and he didn't know how to deal with this crippling loneliness ever since his mother had unfortunately passed away. Her death being for some reason unknown, no one really know what had happened to her exactly.

He walked over to the counter before setting down the warm cup of coffee down, glancing at the person and giving them a polite yet slightly strained smile. "Here you go, that will be $3.65." He stated, awaiting for their payment although the customer seemed to be- hesitant..? Aaron looked away for a moment as the two stood in silence. Finally, the male let out a nervous laugh as he scratches the side of his cheek. "Oh- err.. well, I- only have two bucks so.. maybe I can just give it to you now and next time give you the rest?" He replied, smiling awkwardly.

Aaron however wasn't amused, his smile twitching a bit but still tried to kept his composure.

"Ah- I'm sorry sir but that isn't.. allowed. You're supposed to pay full price now." he said, "I can just discard of the coffee and you can come back later and-" The man cuts him off by abruptly grabbing the cup, spilling some drops of coffee onto the counter. "Great! I'll see you tomorrow then. I promise to pay you later." With that the man exited the building leaving aaron with a baffled expression. He gritted his teeth, clenching his fist as he watched him leave. He was so close from just busting out of here and strangle him - dealing with parasitic people like him infuriates him. He hated his time being wasted.

He sighed, he shouldn't feel like this. Just one more hour and he'll be free to go! It's not like everyday this doesn't happen.

Aaron rested his arm onto the counter, almost hoping one person doesn't walk into here.

That was until his eyes lingered towards someone.

And that someone in question was you.

Of course usually he wouldn't focus on someone's appearance especially since he didn't quite have the luxury to focus on pursuing a relationship. He didn't really bother trying to. he thought himself as a unlovable person, likely to die alone and never having to live the life that he truly wanted. Not really having a goal and rather went with the ride.

It was sad, really - but he tried not fuss himself too much about it.

He continued thinking about what should he do besides laying onto the bed, feeling hopeless and miserable most of the time. The brown haired male watched you entering inside the café before giving him a warm.. smile.

A smile that he swore he felt his cheeks reddening up but brushed it aside and kept it professional as he greets you. "Hey, welcome! Is there anything I can get you on this fine afternoon?" He asked as you walked towards his direction, "Thank you and yes! I'm on my break so I would just like a iced latte, not really looking forward into eating something at the moment. Caffeine is all I need," you answered, laughing. "It's a slow tiring day don't you think? My dear co-worker has been kind of salty, giving me the cold shoulder. Some days aren't your day I guess!" You realized you were rambling, quickly becoming silent for a second. "Sorry- I've came here for a iced coffee not small talk .. I shouldn't put my problems on a hardworking barista like yourself, you seem tired and stressed even. Are you- okay?" You frowned, noticing the dark circles underneath his eyes. He looked like he hasn't been getting enough proper rest.

His eyes widen a bit, snapped out of his thoughts to realize your concern for him before shooting you a smile. "Ah- no no! it's fine, i'm fine.. I appreciate your concern. It's not often we get people like you so it's really.. refreshing. Thank you." he said, "I'll be on it now, don't wanna waste your time." He grabbed a plastic cup - preparing your drink as you patiently wait. You stared at the busy traffic in silence, watching few people on the sidewalk having a phone conversation.

He glanced at you for a moment, admiring your features. His lips curled into a slight smile, you were so sweet and graceful with your words and actions. Your charm beginning to draw him in, and yet- he didn't want to admit it nor deny.. but he knew for certain he was intrigued and wanted to know more about you. Wanted to know what's your name, your interests and dislikes.. and maybe more. "So, uh.. feel free to not answer but how come I've never seen you before? You look like a new face in town," he chuckled before muttering to himself. "A pretty one at that.."

You looked at him before a smile formed onto your lips once again, "Oh! Yeah- I've actually moved here a week ago believe it or not. It wasn't long before they had recommended this place that serves good coffee. The atmospheres looks so nice! I really love the aesthetic so I'm assuming they must be right after all." You replied, almost going on a tangent.

God your voice was soothingly pleasing to listen to, he could just hear you talk endlessly without getting tired of hearing it. You had such a way with words, he tried not to urge himself into trying to hear more from you after all you were just a customer. It would seemed weird if he had try getting more information as possible.. right? He wasn't that kind of person, if he wanted so bad to get to know you better he could actually just.. ask you if he can spend some time with you and not be creepy about it.. He didn't want to come off too strong already but.. this feeling, it was overwhelming and he couldn't get enough. He wanted more.

He wanted you. It was complicated and too much for him to take in.. is this what love actually feels like? The feeling of wanting to feel your embrace, your scent, and hearing his name flow off your tongue. If so, this felt amazing to him.

Aaron had finished making the iced latte, setting the cold drink down onto the counter. "That will be $4.65." He said before you nodded in response, taking out your wallet and placing the exact amount. He grabbed it from you and puts the cash into the cash register. "Thank you, I hope you enjoy your drink and have a wonderful day!" He smiled.

"You too!" You practically yelled, leaving the place as you took a sip of your coffee.

He placed his hand onto his cheek, watching you walk away out of view before coming into a realization. His smile slowly turned into a melancholic frown. "Ah- I haven't.. asked for their name." He sighed, "shit- why do I have to mess things up? I loss my chance.. what if they never come back again?" He looked down at the counter, staring into the reflection of himself. "I hope that's not the case.. I want to get to know them. I need to learn much more about them.." He said to himself. Aaron had himself found a new fixation, a goal.

And that goal was to make you fall over heels for him as much as he did for you - to make you his and him yours.

#yandere #male yandere #yandere oc #yanderecore #yancore #yandere original character #yandere imagines #yandere roleplay blog #oc x reader #oc #original character #yandere x darling #yandere x reader #yandere x gn reader #x reader #reader insert #☕ oc: aaron

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rivalry-trope-enjoyer · 9 months

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An Unexpected Confession (Leviathan x Reader)

Summary: Leviathan has confided in you for as long as you could remember. It's been an equivalent exchange for the most part, until the topic of relationships come up...

Tags: Romantic confession, mutual nerdy pining, fluff, a dating sim get's a little too real

"Ugh, this lead doesn't like any of the gifts I give her!" Leviathan complains, begrudgingly handing the controller to you.

"The Childhood Friend doesn't like sweets anymore, Levi. You'd know this if you actually paid attention during the dialogue," you chuckle teasingly, giving the character a gift that made the video game character swoon.

"Urghhh I'm a failure of a pro-gamer..." Leviathan groans in annoyance, folding his arms as he watch you continue to play the game.

You and Leviathan started playing a dating sim that he failed miserably going in blind the first time. He hated to admit it, but considering the experience you've had with dating sims was a little bit more than him, he reluctantly asked you for your assistance.

All of this struggle towards trying to woo the video game character made a part of Leviathan feel a little bit somber. As you silently cheer after successfully raising the character's love meter, you could see the demon's mood progressively sour.

"Levi, what's wrong?" you ask reluctantly. "We don't have to keep playing if you want."

Leviathan look away from you, trying his best to mask the rock you feel sinking through your chest. It was inexplainable, but you were the last person he would want to bring up such a problem to.

"N-Nothing! We can keep playing, it's okay, we're almost at the first good ending," he denies, looking at the monitor of the paused game.

You frown at his response, clearly not buying his sad attempt at covering up his emotions. "You know you can tell me anything, right?" you put the controller down and shift to your side to face him. "So what's on your mind, Levi?"

Leviathan takes a long pause, his eyes shifting around the room, anywhere but meeting yours. He was having an internal dilemma as he opened his mouth to speak, but words continued to fail. He wanted to run out of his room then and there, but where would he go? Outside?! He'd rather die...

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, he takes a deep breath and decides to let out what has been bothering him little by little. "You might think I'm a loser, o-or maybe you already think I'm a loser... but I don't have any experience at all when it comes to romance," he sighs out, his hands shaking slightly as he spoke.

You listen to him intently, but your gaze makes Leviathan much more nervous than he started out.

"I-I just wonder when I'm gonna be able to have an experience like this outside of 2D, y'know?" he continues, his head feeling light, like he could pass out at any second.

You took a pause before you could say anything to Leviathan, just beginning his messy ramble that stemmed from a bad ending of a video game...

"Ah, forget it... Y/N I don't know when it'll ever be my turn. Maybe I'm just unlovable. Like the no-good loser I've always been meant to be," Leviathan was slowly slipping from a stable state of mind and started to spiral into madness.

"Levi don't say that," you quickly prompt before his thoughts would get any worse, your own nerves settling in watching him talk down to himself like this.

"B-But what if it's true?" he panics.

"It's not," you respond quickly.

He senses a sudden urgency in your voice and quickly tries to stop himself from talking. "I'm so sorry, Y/N... I didn't mean to start acting like this," Leviathan quickly doubles down.

"It's okay," you reassure. "Sometimes I wonder the same for myself," you speak while letting out a soft chuckle.

Leviathan looks up at you in curiosity. "Y-You? A normie like you has to worry about that?" he asks in a state of bewilderment.

"Well, yeah I guess everyone does at some point in their lives." As you spoke, Leviathan's panic tones down slightly. "But it's what you decide to do about that. If you really think you're doomed to be alone, then I guess there's no harm in trying, right?"

"H-Huh?! Like a confession? I don't think I can do that...," Leviathan's constant stammers descends into an incoherent language.

You encourage him with a sweet smile on your face, scooting to him closer on the couch, making him nearly melt from the action.

"Would it help to lead by example then?" you ask in an innocent voice.

"I-I guess..." Leviathan closes his eyes and nods rapidly.

"Well," you begin, putting on a brave smile for the anxious demon in front of you, despite you feeling embarrassed from what you were about to say.

"Leviathan, I like you! How about a date to the arcade sometime?" you follow up with a wink, watching the demon's face turn into one of perpetual shock.

"Woah Y/N that almost sounded real... I-If I didn't know any better I'd say you were actually confessing to me! Haha...," he blurts out in a fit of anxiety, the palms of his hands sweating as he spoke. He wonders how it came out of your mouth so easily, was it so impossible to think of dating someone like him?!

"Oh that was an actual confession," you smile mischievously. "I really do like you Levi!"

*Leviathan.exe has stopped working.*

You watch him freeze in his spot, his entire body shutting down as you spoke, wondering if he was so consumed in digital media that he confused the art of dating sims for reality.

"Now your turn," you tease, anticipating for Leviathan's response.

You would not be able to get a response from Leviathan for at least minutes as he continues to recover. He has an internal battle of whether or not to say something, his words possibly being utter crap, or to sit there and look even more like an idiot in your eyes.

"C-Can I have some time...?" Leviathan pleads, hiding his face in his hands, close to tears over this reciprocation.

You nod in agreement. "Sure, but in the dating sim there would be a time limit~"

"This isn't that!" he retorts quickly, his voice muffled behind his hands.

Each word comes out of the shy demon's mouth slowly, but surely, a coherent sentence of "I like you, too" came to fruition. Despite being broken up by complaints of frustration and nerves rising to his throat, the message came across to you clean and simple.

#leviathan x reader #obey me x reader #obey me shall we date #obey me leviathan #om! leviathan

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myguumi · 12 days

Text

megumi drabble

angst with no comfort at all, hinted at itafushi, wc; 670, im sorry i love u guys, not proof read so if theres mistakes im sorrryyyy

itadori is gone, and gojo has been given a task from before his execution. to give megumi a handwritten letter. gojo wants to snoop and see what it says, but he knows its not smart.

the soft sound of knocking interrupts megumis thoughts, muttering a small "come in" as he makes himself look somewhat presentable. gojo strolls into his room, sighing as he lookd around.

"yuji wanted me to give you this." is all he says before turning around and leaving, unable to let megumi mutter a word or let a single noise escape his vocal cords. megumi looks at the paper— a small, off-white, folded up— signed by itadori. his messy, but pretty handwriting with small doodles around it. mainly just silly ones of megumi, or itadori himself.

it takes megumi a couple of moments before unfolding the paper, letting his eyes quickly scan over it to see what the main jist of it was before taking a deep breath and deciding to genuinely read through it.

"hey fushiguro! if you're getting this note, its quite obvious ive passed on. i dont wanna say i'll see you soon because i want you to live longer than i did, okay? ill see you someday, though. thats for sure. anyways, i dont really know how to go about this. all those books i borrowed, you can have them back, if you want. they should be in the drawer next to my bed, unless gojo-sensei cleared my room out already. i think he'll leave that to you, though? i did ask him too, but you cant get everything you want, yknow!

anyways, other than all that stupid stuff, i'll miss you. i would say to tell kugisaki i'll miss her too, but, i can tell her that myself now. im sorry for leaving so soon, but you still have gojo-sensei and some of the others. i know you're not a huge fan of communication or anything, but don't continue to be that person that sits in the corner at parties!! live life a bit. i get you're a sorcerer and you assume everything will always be shit, but you can still live. it wont kill you to not be a misanthropist for once in your life fushiguro.

dont drown yourself in guilt over this because there was nothing you could've done to stop it. i was going to meet my end whether you wanted it to be stopped or not. i always had a question, fushiguro. i lived a somewhat nice childhood for someone like me, but the question always ran through my head atleast once a year. was i raised without love, or was i unloveable? and i figured out the answer. i was raised with love, just not enough for me to feel like it. and im not unloveable because i know you loved me with every ounce of love your soul could provide to me.

i think this is long and sad enough already, so, moral of the note, thank you. tell gojo-sensei im sorry for having to leave so soon, but it was bound to happen. i lived an interesting life because of you. id rather die than never meet you. thank you for this, and i love you, megumi."

megumi had already balled up the piece of paper in his hand once finished with reading it, the tears lining his waterline threatening to fall. he let out a shitty attempt at a chuckle, which seemed to be the breaking point of it. instead of a chuckle, it was a choked back sob, making him cough a bit. he threw the paper, even if it didnt go very far. he sat on his bed and stared down, sobbing. he kept wiping his eyes to try and make the tears disappear, but they kept appearing as if nothing could stop them.

megumi went to bed that night with nothing but tears and a hole in his heart that he feels will never be filled until he sees itadori again.

(misanthropist - a person who dislikes humankind and avoids human society.)

#jjk #jujustu kaisen #megumi fushiguro #jjk megumi #megumi angst #jjk angst #jjk yuji #yuji itadori #itafushi #itafushi angst #jjk gojo

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ailendolin · 1 year

Text

I’ve been thinking about Thomas and the theme of change that runs through the show.

Thomas establishes early on in series 1, "You stay how you die," implying that the ghosts are incapable of change. We know that’s not true, of course. Robin is the best example of that. Not only does he manage to grasp concepts that are foreign to him (playing chess, doing crossword puzzles etc.), he has also learned at least one new language since he died. Like him, all the other ghosts have grown over the course of the series in one way or another, be it Fanny who realises that love is love, Pat who recognises that he pushed Carol away, Julian who's beginning to understand how much time he's wasted away from his daughter or Kitty who is slowly coming to terms with how her sister treated her. Mary, in fact, has grown so much that she was able to find peace and move on.

Thomas is the only one who seemingly hasn’t grown. He’s standing still, very much set in his ways, and I think that's because his character arc is not about finding love or realising romantic love is not what he needs to be happy but rather about change.

As I mentioned before, Thomas is the one who insists, "You stay how you die." He’s also the one who tells Alison, "We can change!" making it sound like that’s something the ghosts have control over even though we know it’s actually more of a subconscious process. So why does Thomas phrase it like that, then?

Because for him, it actually is something he can control because the Thomas we know, the Thomas the ghosts and Alison know, is not real. He’s merely a role Thomas has perfected over the years to protect himself from getting hurt, and there are mainly two reasons why I think that:

The theme of abandonment: we saw both Isabelle and Francis abandon him when he was dying, and while I know a lot of people believe the story Thomas tells about his mother letting him cry when he was a baby was just him seeking attention, I do think there was some truth to it because it's been established that Thomas doesn’t lie. He’s able to bend the truth and make it less painful (the kiss with Isabelle that never happened, him talking about his grand tour etc.) but he does not flat out lie. So if we take that into account, all three people he mentions from his life have abandoned him in some way. He not only died alone and unloved, he probably lived that way too and I would argue he is still “living” it. He can often be seen sitting or standing at a distance from the group (the double denim scene, or when Alison thanks them for the review) as if he's not quite part of it or at least feels like he isn't.

The differences between alive and dead Thomas: I think it's worth noting that the Thomas we see in the flashbacks is quite different from the Thomas we know. His love for Isabelle is a gentle and respectful thing whereas his "love" for Alison is the complete opposite. He also seems to have been quieter in life – still confident in his abilities and with a penchant for drama but in a subdued, more serious way. It’s a side of him we sometimes get glimpses of in the show: when he watched the sunrise with Alison, when he told Kitty she didn't need to pretend to like his poetry or after he went through withdrawal. Thomas’s true character shines through in those moments and the fact that we actually get to see that shows that Thomas is changing - just very slowly. For him, change is not about becoming a new, better version of himself or having a profound realisation about someone or something. It’s about feeling safe enough to let the mask fall and be himself around others, and about trusting them not to turn their backs on him when he does.

The main problem with that is that the others have given him no reason to feel safe so far. They constantly roll their eyes when he so much as opens his mouth and rarely bother to hide the fact they consider him a nuisance. Part of that is obviously Thomas’s own fault since the act he puts on is meant to push others away. But the others aren't blameless either. We know they can all be incredibly respectful and considerate when it comes to each other's trauma. It's an unspoken rule not to bring it up unless the person themself does (Fanny's death and George's affair, Kitty's sister, the Captain's sexuality and so on). That rule, however, does not apply to Thomas. When he goes to Alison to talk about his death, she barely pays attention to him at first. It’s only when the others come in, take over his story and turn the most traumatic moment of his life into the evening's entertainment that she gets invested in it. Gone is the respect and consideration they’d all normally show in such a situation - because it’s Thomas, and no one ever takes his feelings seriously.

I think in order for Thomas to change, the others need to change first. They don’t have to pretend to like his poetry or find his outbursts charming or anything like that but they need to make him feel safe the same way they make each other feel safe when they're at their most vulnerable. We got a small glimpse of what that could look like in the Comic Relief special when Kylie asked Thomas to finish the song. Everyone was supportive of him in that moment and genuinely happy for him, and I think that's exactly what Thomas needs to let his guard down and stop pretending he's someone he's not: to feel accepted and part of the family.

#this is just my personal interpretation of course #but I needed to get it out my system because Thomas's relationship with the theme of change is really interesting #thomas thorne #bbc ghosts #bbc ghosts headcanon #mp bbc ghosts

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cult-of-the-eye · 6 months

Note

Who's your #1 favorite TMA character and why?

Oh god I love them all but I'm gonna have to say that Jonathan Sims has GRIPPED ME. That sad little man fills my thoughts constantly.

It's one of my biggest fears that if I'm ever even slightly unlikeable then I'll be unlovable but he's prickly and makes bad decisions and is hell bent on doing stuff on his own and yeah I'm also known to be a maker of bad decisions and not great with people and hugely stubborn and would rather die than ask for help so it's nice to see that when it comes to it, we're both loveable including those parts and not regardless.

He's also dorky and makes terrible jokes and is long suffering and literally same. I love this man.

It sounds weird to be like yeah eldritch antichrist is literally me but I think it's the writing as well that's made so many people just latch on to Jon cause he's just so human, everyone makes bad decisions and can be stubborn and prickly sometimes and so we all see parts of ourselves in all the characters really but especially Jon. He was put in a terrible situation and he reacted like any person would. Just like we do in our terrible situations.

I've got a soft spot for Martin as well because some of my favourite people are very much like him, they just give and give and I feel protective over him like I feel for them. I've also been Martin, just like we've all been him at points of our lives. Also like he's Martin he's amazing he makes tea and likes cows and writes shitty poetry and cares so much!! Who wouldn't like him?? (We also share some trauma so there's that as well lol)

I also really like Tim for sort of similar reasons. I can relate to his reaction to a horrible situation being This Is Unfair and making sure everyone knows that It is Not Right and It Sucks. Cause he's right to do so and it's an understandable reaction even if it's not the prettiest. And I fucking love ugly and realistic depictions of trauma and grief. He thinks he's the only sane one there, the only one willing to see the truth of the situation and that makes him miserable and I understand his rage. He's never properly processed any of his grief cause he's stuck in his rage and it's painfully understandable but also his downfall and I think that's the tragedy of his storyline. He's also a bomb ass bisexual manwhore whom I love dearly.

So yeah, I hope that answered your question!! Thanks for asking it!!

#tma #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #martin k blackwood #jmart #tim stoker #tma tim #tma jon #tma martin #jonmartin #answered asks #i dont believe in too in depth answers #you asked me a question #so you have given me free reign to fully and completely answer it #:)

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fearforthestorm · 6 months

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How is 'no children' misrepresented and what is it actually about? <- genuinely curious and likes people ranting about things like this (and only really knows about the 'hand in unlovable hand' line though maybe that's part of the problem(?))

oh god okay so. how much tmg lore do you want because if we want to get into no children we're gonna get into the alpha couple and they've literally been present in the music since the very first tape ever released under the name the mountain goats over 30 years ago. actually yknow what it's 2am I don't want to mess things up I'll just give you this:

that's the backstory that's what no children is about. the song is so named because (paraphrasing a quote) "if there's one thing I know about this couple it's that the world will be better for it if they never have children". and here's the thing is that no children is a REALLY cathartic song I don't fault people for enjoying it and god knows that it's fun to belt at concerts but it is NOT a love song. it is not a song about a relationship that is in any way good or stable or healthy. it is about a couple that are bad for eachother and for everyone around them and should get divorced but are never going to because filing those papers is a few hundred bucks and you can buy a lot of alcohol with that money. please understand that: they aren't a tragic mutually doomed couple who despite that love each other. they are actively dragging the both of them to their graves because they're too far in to turn around now. they've been drinking for decades like it'll fix their problems and it never will and things only ever get angrier and louder and more destructive and worse so they just keep fucking digging the graves they've been digging since the beginning. first rule of holes is stop digging second rule is that once you do you're still in a hole but they're never even gonna get the first one and they sure as hell aren't ever going to acknowledge that they're in a deep deep hole much less would they try to get out. no children is about wanting the worst for yourself and your better half because it's the only way you can see any of it ending. no children is slinging insults across the living room several drinks deep into the evening at the person you married and realising that you fucking mean it when you say you hope it all goes to shit and takes the both of you down with it.

no children isn't the tragic otp. no children says "I hope I lie and tell everyone you were a good wife" and "I hope when you think of me years down the line you can't find one good thing to say / and I hope that if I found the strength to walk out you'd stay the hell out of my way" and it means every goddamn word when it says them. and I know people like "hand in unloveable hand / and I hope you die / I hope we both die" but they ALWAYS use that quote in a "it doesn't matter if we're unloveable because we're hand in hand" kind of way and that's just completely fucking wrong. if you're going to use no children for your blorbos fucking commit to it, they better be a couple that is genuinely entirely going to bury each other alive for the sheer goddamn fact that they would rather die than try to stop digging.

anyway. go listen to Tallahassee (album) because it is genuinely extremely fucking good and no children probably isn't even in my top three songs from that album.

#.lyr #ask #its now almost 3am i hope this is coherent im going to sleep

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darkmagyk · 9 months

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Ask game: 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21

choose violence ask game (send me more pls!)

the character everyone gets wrong

Annabeth, Annabeth, Annabeth. In SO MANY ways. Right down to her name, where people decide randomly that Annabeth is a nickname for Anna Elizabeth.

But mostly it's the school thing. Annabeth is always going to be the smartest person in the room, but she would (literally) rather die then demean herself to prove it. She also has ADHD, Dyslexia, and missed grades 2-6. I don't know how you can read about her being unwilling to play the Sphinxes game and then think that she'd be a good sport about school? I don't necessarily think she'd do badly. She is 100% in the "smart enough to coast" category. But she's not going to study, she's not going to apply herself. And I suspect when she finds herself disagreeing, she's not going to be open to listening to most teachers. She'll talk back, she'll argue, she'll get detention. She reads books in greek, she probably doesn't have special affection for her school libraries full of books she can't read. Free yourself from the Hermione Industrial Complex and embrace smart girl characters who's only life goal isn't getting As on tests.

Other things, Annabeth did live in Virginia some as a child. But given that it was in Richmond, her father is from Boston, and they moved at least a little (in TLT her family lives in New York State), the idea that her upbringing would be particularly southern, or that she'd have a southern accent is silly.

Also, she thinks Percy is funny. She enjoys his company. They have a lot of similarities. And she knows he's not as smart at she is (no one is) but she doesn't think he's the dumbest person alive. She doesn't hate him. About 80% of all PJO Incorrect quotes can be summed up as Percy: says something dumb, Annabeth: You're an idiot, and I hate you. And that's just...not what's going on with them.

2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

It's a sexual position they don't enjoy? Let us not confuse sexual positions with gender or rolls in power dynamics.

Now, if you want to discuss power dynamics, Annabeth is a sub and Percy is a dom. Because Annabeth has a long history of feeling unloved, unwanted, and abandoned and wants to feel desired. And Percy has been dismissed and untrusted and wants to feel competent and trustworthy.

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

Recently saw a post that said Frederick had fucked Athena. You know, Athena, the famously virgin goddess.

(The funniest part was that it was part of a very anti-Frederick post, and yet...by saying Athena, the goddess of wisdom, broke her millennia long, life defining desire to not sleep with men, to sleep with Frederick Chase, they were saying he was a giant Chad and extra extra special. And that Athena saw so much in him, loved him so much, she developed sexual feelings for him and was willing to throw away one of her defining characteristics for him. And that...that was kind of hilarious)

5. worst discord server and why

Um, the Taylor Swift one I joined to trade tips for my show is really pretty bad. Everyone is so mean and bitchy and, I say this as someone who is weird about how much I love Taylor Swift, Swifties are the worst.

Otherwise, I can't keep up with servers, or really any chat with more then like 3 people them. So I can't really tell if they are good or bad.

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

See previous comments about Annabeth. But, also, Jesus Christ Frederick Chase. Who is super interesting, and also dealt a bad hand he then played badly. Dude is a Norse Legacy who fell in love with a Hellenic Goddess. He went out of town and his wife ran off his daughter while he was gone. He can see through the mist. He dive bombed a Titan to save said daughter. He's a Red Sox fan and has a daughter who's a Yankees fan. He managed to enchant Athena. Favorite minor character.

Also, everyone is wrong about Poseidon. He's an ass, he's a bad dad (Hades is the best big three dad. And possibly the best godly parents. And that's being graded on the scale that calculates that time he told Nico he wished he'd died and bianca hadn't. That's how bad everyone else is.) And Sally has moved on to bigger and better things.

Combining those two things: Fredthena > PoSally. Fredthena is more interesting, and during the canon of the stories, it's actually still interesting instead of Poseidon just being Sally's loser ex.

Other things: in fic, Luke is Annabeth's looser older brother, not abusive ex. Annabeth is the punk and Percy is the good boy, Jercy wants what Frankercy has.

13. worst blorboficiation

Connor Stoll. He's literally just half a character. And that's fine.

Also Octavian. Who is allowed to just be power mad.

Also...I love Nico a lot, but the way fandom acts about him is...so much.

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

Nico. I love Nico, I think he's an awesome character and have written multiple fics about him. But people are so weird about him. And there is an extent to which I get it. He's one of the first incidentally queer characters in middle grade literature (as opposed to a character who is gay in a book all about being gay). He's got the emo vibes we love. And he definitely went through it.

But everyone is kind of going through it. And yet, people will unironically make posts about how Percy promised to protect Bianca and then let her die when...When Bianca set off a monster and Percy literally was like "I have a plan to get rid of it" and then Bianca said "I'll do it" and Percy was like "No, I will" and then Bianca just did it anyway. That isn't on Percy. Similarly "Percy choked Nico, its inexcusable." You know, that time that Nico helped his father trap Percy in a room in the underworld with no ways out or windows or anything. Nico didn't know, and he felt bad and tried to make it right, but it wasn't unreasonable for Percy to be pissed and attack the dude who behaved like an enemy.

#pjo meta #asks #ask meme

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jeweled-blue-eyes · 2 months

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hi, i was stalking your blog - and i adore your aus! i like your analysis and you're really good with your words! i just wanted to know - hypothetically, do you think anastacius and diana would ever work in any au?

I'm not sure but what I'm sure of is that it would never be as intense as the love of two emotionally broken people. Claudiana's whirlwind romance sounded like severe mania to me. Falling in love with a tyrant at first sight and deciding on having a baby with him a few weeks into the relationship, even sacrificing your life for said child and having faith that said tyrant would never let any harm come onto them, all this after a few months of knowing each other is a decision no woman in their right mind would ever make. Realistically it would make sense if Diana was a person who was attracted to toxic men like the moth to a flame. A person who wanted to fix others and struggled with their own mental health in a way that was not obvious to others because she was introduced when she was in a mania episode of euphoria, delusions, and overactivity. With Claude's she was his maniac pixie dream girl and died before her problems became apparent. With Anastacius her own struggles could be explored too.

How would the palace life affect Diana in the long run? Perhaps it is her fairy imaginary that makes me view Diana as someone deeply connected to nature and ever-changing. With time she might feel stifled like a flower in a vase or a songbird in the cage. Diana would hate the restricted life in the palace and go on long trips or mingle herself on the streets with the common folk. Someone like her would miss the life of a travelling entertainer and seek to replicate such life as best as she can at court. It's entirely possible that Diana and Anastacius' relationship would be something short-lived. They would break up on good terms and remember each other fondly many years later. I can imagine Diana as someone who jumps from relationship to relationship and doesn't really differenciate between romantic and platonic love. She loves someone as a friend but said friend wants more? She doesn't mind it and would sleep with them to see if she could feel the spark.

Supposing they stayed together: Unlike Claude I don't see Anastacius' breaking traditions easily. He cannot marry Diana and make her Empress. The logical conclusion is that he would have to take a princess as his official wife while keeping Diana as his concubine. Rather than offending the other party like Claude who would behead every envoy with marriage proposal and send their heads back, the best Anastacius could do would compromise and reduce at least his number of concubines. Now I have to pose the following questions: Does Anastacius have it in himself to put his lover through the same suffering Claude's mother had to endure? Would he be willing to humiliate his wife in the same way his own mother had been humiliated? Is he able not to play favourites between the child that was born out of love and the one that was born out of duty? Anastacius seems to have a soft spot for children. He would try to love them in equal measure but I think the children would understand unconsciously that he loves one of the mothers more than the other and his legitimate child might feel insecure because of this and doubt the extend of their fathers love. It would cause Anastacius many grieviances if his children would not get along.

However I think if Anastacius' married a good woman she and Diana would grow as close as sisters and she would love her stepchild as much as her own blood. Of course this requires that Diana doesn't die in childbirth. I think the chances of Anastacius committing himself completely to dark magic are slim in an AU like that. Throughout the series people only turn to black magic if they feel betrayed or unloved by their family. If Anastacius were to have a person like Diana by his side his heart would be purefied just by the goodness and love she gives so freely away. He wouldn't be so insecure and bitter if there was someone who loved him in spite of his lack of power or his status as crown prince. Ideally he would have to meet her in disguise. Maybe he's hunting and got lost or he went out to collect magicial herbs in the woods where Diana's dancer troop pitch their camp, they meet each other, fall in love, Diana notices that he's being targeted by an evil spirit and gives him a protection charm or performs an exorcism ritual that she has learned in Siodonna. She could have her own heroine arc where the lady saves her prince with the help of the prince's brother. Anastacius' relationship with Claude would improve after a heart to heart talk and a sincere apology, but I think Claude would fall for Diana in every universe and it would end on a bittersweet note for him.

In a darker AU Anastacius would have an affair with Diana to use her to give birth to his miracle child and would only realize once its too late the kind of danger he is putting her in (and that he has hopelessly fallen in love with her). Apart from that even if he never performed any experiments on her it's possible that Diana would die in childbirth. Despite Anastacius' absurdy low amount of mana he still comes from a long line of magicians and might have passed on the gene that has skipped him onto his own child.

Aeternitas could hijack someone else. Anastacius' father for example. Or Claude who is tormented by his unrequited love towards Diana. Anastacius might die anyway because of the aftereffects of his black magic usage in his youth (remember Aeternitas targeted him since childhood). Tragically Claude would find himself in a succession crisis with the children of his brother and the woman he loved and might even be forced to kill them one day.

#wmmap #anastacius x diana #anon #answered asks

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nerdlydelicious · 8 months

Note

Phoenix my beloved? Feel free to rip and tear

Oh boy oh boy oh boy. Buckle up kids, we’re going for a ride.

Just gonna go ahead and say this now: Raven is a bitch and deserves no happiness, and Tai deserves better.

She had a husband that loved her, a team that was like family, and a little girl of her own. And what does she do?

She fucking runs off to go play bandit in the wilds of Mistral.

If it isn’t glaringly obvious, I despise Raven. She’s a coward that goes on and on about strength, but isn’t strong enough to be there for her family. She uses her ‘strength’ to abuse others along with her clan, robbing, pillaging, and murdering their way through Mistral, and leaving the survivors of whatever town they hit at the mercy of the Grimm that inevitably descend on them while the bandits make their get away. She is a horrible, awful person who threw away a chance at a good life with a loving family because she’s afraid of commitment, and if there’s any justice she’ll meet a violent end before RWBY is over.

Then of course there’s the fact that she helped Salem get the relic of knowledge to save her own skin, used Vernal as a decoy so no one would suspect who the real Spring Maiden, which would ultimately get Vernal killed (no great loss tho, tbh), and it is heavily implied if not outright confirmed that she murdered the previous spring maiden in cold blood to take the powers for herself.

But if the fact that Neopolitan got away scot free with everything she did (and boy do I have some thoughts about her) is anything to go by, Raven will probably be welcomed back into the fold with little to no issues because she wants to ‘make amends’ or some rot like that.

Why don’t you try making amends for Shion village you super bitch? Oh right, you can’t.

Because you and your clan murdered everyone there.

To clarify, I still find Raven an interesting character. I hate her, but in a ‘this character is really well written awful person way’ rather than a ‘this character is boring’ way. I can still find her interesting while wishing for her to die in a ditch from a gut wound, unloved and unremembered.

I know that turned into a rant about Raven, but honestly it’s the fact that she is such an awful person is why I don’t like Phoenix, or any Raven ship. She just doesn’t deserve happiness, and no one deserves to suffer by being with her (except maybe Cinder, but that’s for a different ask). She had her chance, and she threw it away.

But: I will still give the ship a 2/10 rating because A: Tai was happy with her, at least for a time, and B: we got Yang out of it. So there is at least some silver lining in these Raven dark clouds.

Also, complete side note here, but we never talk about the fact that Shion village was somewhere Jaune was familiar with. His family vacationed there in the past, he would have known people that lived there. He probably had friends there.

And now they’re dead. Because of Raven. I know it’ll never come up again, but I hope and pray we get something about that if Raven pops up in V10. Preferably just before she’s hanged for her numerous crimes against humanity.

And as another side note: this isn’t me attacking the asker. They specifically asked me to rip into Raven, and rip into her I did. I’m not gonna hate or be rude to anyone for liking a ship I don’t.

#rwby #rwby ships #taiyang xiao long #raven branwen #RWBY Phoenix #Raven goes feet first into the wood chipper

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void-thegod · 7 months

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there is something very disturbing to me about the concept of "loving yourself before you receive love"

as if one isn't worthy of it unless they love themselves

or perhaps shouldn't receive it unless x,y,z are fulfilled

love isn't something you earn with special credit. it's something you're given in spite of and because of who and what you are.

we all know people who are given love and understanding who are essentially human shit stains. if you don't know them, you've heard of them. and that is what it is. it is probably better that such people are given love rather than nothing or hate.

but what of the opposite? the people who SHOULD be given love and understanding but are not? some people go their whole lives never receiving or finding anyone to love or to be loved by.

for many reasons. but there are times when it is no fault of their own. they are surrounded by people who don't understand. perhaps they are strange and people are strange to them. maybe they are intimidating and/or intimidated by others.

and these people - the touch and love starved - are often told to "love themselves first" or are blamed for their predicament. or worse yet they're "reminded" that 'relationships aren't everything'.

sort of how most people are reminded that money isn't everything and it doesn't equate to happiness.

we need money bc of this system we're in.

we need love/understanding/connection bc of what we are.

now.. i would consider myself aplatonic, aromantic and asexual 99% of the time. bc 99% of people just aren't for me. that ive met, obv

but even i want a companion. someone who fulfills the need of a friend, a romantic partner, and a sexual partner. that's just me.

i love me. i understand me. i know for 100% fact that my issues - mental, financial, physical - are generally much smaller than a normal person's. why? bc i have worked on my issues my whole life to make them as small for ME to handle. so i know they're not that big of a deal.

most people struggle with the things i struggle with.

but most people aren't like me.

and i'm finding that's what matters more. whether they're able to really understand ME. sure. we can relate to each other's situations bc we are alive. but love/understanding is different between those who truly care and get one another.

what am i getting at?

that people are full of shit. i suppose. and many people are full of the same sort of shit.

but some aren't. and that is what makes them unlovable to others. their differences.

and isn't it fucked up that someone may actually be a good person but just so weird or intimidating that no one knows how to handle them? that that's the only reason they'll never receive love?

(receive love from someone they want in return)

and then i think "beggars can't be choosers" which is why people like me (good people, people who deserve better) end up with abusers or people who don't appreciate me.

and plenty of people deal with this. being chased by those they don't want. choosing incorrectly but hoping for the best. to be disappointed and crushed. by their own expectations or the expectations of their partner.

relationships in 2023... i don't know about them. so many people seen to have flimsy/insubstantial connections. even the people that shouldn't.

and nowadays "red flag" more often means "something i don't like" than something that is a real problem. and there are those who LIKE toxicity. who run from health. we've all done self destructive things. and what a sweet way to die - to kill oneself with love that is bad for you.

rather than to grow. but it's not linear. it doesn't make sense.

ah. that is how Life is. sometimes it's just nonsense and shitty at the same time it is magical and beautiful and true.

and perhaps this is a blessing in disguise.

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the-kittylorian-writes · 1 year

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"We Are Eternal"

Rating: General Audiences Type: One-shot Word count: 1k+

Summary:

Paz Vizsla leaves a message to his son Ragnar via holo-recording before he joins the reconnaissance team to scout Mandalore. If that were to be his last stand, no words will be left unsaid.

Epistolary in Paz's POV (aka it is in letter form).

Spoilers for s03ep07 or Chapter 23 - “The Spies”

Read on AO3 or here:

"We Are Eternal"

*****

My son, Ragnar—

When this message reaches you, little one, know that I am already dead. Don’t despair.

But you will feel the despair anyway. You will feel doubt, you will feel great sadness and fear, and worst of all, you will feel unloved. Abandoned. You are allowed to feel all that, my little one. Allow yourself to feel the rage, the grief, the immense sadness—but never linger in those intense emotions. When the time is right, you will know that you need let go.

I do not expect you to understand right away, and neither does the Tribe—all those who have come to respect me as a warrior, and love you as my son and fellow young soldier. One day, you will understand what true sacrifice is. One day, you will understand why the greatest, most sublime way of showing my love to you is leaving you, as confusing as it sounds. But while I will no longer be with you where I can hold you, and you can hold me, tangible and real in body—so I will remain with you in spirit. As I make my journey to the Oversoul to join all the noble and brave Mandalorians who have gone before us, a huge part of me will remain in your heart’s memory. Even as you hear me now, in this piece of memory, one day you may even forget my voice. You may even forget my stance or the exact words of wisdom I tell you now; you may even come to resent me for a long time.

I forgive you as I will never cease loving you from the length and breadth of the Oversoul.

I have chosen you as my son because you have what it takes to be a true warrior. You are a worthy Vizsla, Ragnar, as you are in your entirety a worthy Mandalorian. I know you are capable of resilience, of the grit that comes with the most challenging parts of life, of overcoming all tribulations which forge us into true children of Mandalore. You are still but a tender blade ready to be sharpened and doused in fire and water as the hammer falls on you again and again. That will always be the core of a Mandalorian’s life.

I have chosen you not just for your great respect and awe of the Creed which you have sworn into, but because whether or not the time will come when you shall lift helm from your face so your bare eyes would see the sun again, you will always remain to serve the greatest honor and the greatest good.

When you find yourself astray, follow your instincts. There could have been many more years where I could teach you to hone your skills, to see you grow up into a man who would keep his word, a man who sees through his mind’s eye rather than what is presented before him—a man of discernment, strength, and vision. Yet I am confident that I have left you with enough to take the next steps on your own, and most especially with the help and guidance of the Tribe.

Ragnar, you are never alone. You may walk the steps in solitude if you seek it, but remember that the Tribe will always have your back, as one day you will be there for the Tribe, and pay the kindness forward. Only you can entrust yourself with that great purpose.

Remember what I have taught you about our canons of honor? Strength is life, for the strong have the right to rule. Honor is life, for with no honor one may as well be dead. Loyalty is life, for without one's clan one has no purpose. Death is life, one should die as they have lived.

My son, we were all born to die, but not only is that the most natural thing about life—is that if we are blessed with the choice on how we leave our earthly existence, we will choose our actions wisely, actions that would resonate through the centuries even after we have long gone. If we can, we will always choose a warrior’s death, but not to vainly tempt fate. We will make every breath in our bodies count as we give everything we have in service of the whole instead of self. When we choose how to die, it will be an act of selflessness. Do everything in your power to hold the line when the line is all that remains.

I have left you not because I do not love you. I am dead not because I couldn’t care less about you. You are the most precious thing that I would ever fight for, and whom I would readily die for. Know that my last thoughts will be of you, and of the greatness you and the Mandalorians have yet to achieve when we take our place among the open galaxy once again.

Be fearless, Ragnar, although fear will overtake you more times than you will realize. Find strength in the Creed. They are words forever forged in your heart. Let every step you tread be inspired by the Way of the Mand’alor. The Tribe has taught you. I have taught you. I have great faith in you.

Farewell for now, my little one. As with all those who have departed before us, know that I am not gone; I am merely marching far away. Let it be many long years until you are by my side once more, marching along with me, and we will look each other in the eye in spirit as we have done so in life. We will say to each other that we have served our greatest purpose, and death took us because that greatest purpose has been fulfilled. That is how we become eternal.

I love you always, my young warrior. I have joined our ancestors as you will one day join them. Unfurl the banner of Clan Vizsla. Bear all joy and pain with honor, as we will all someday die with honor. That is my prayer for you and for all our brothers and sisters.

This is the Way.

Your father, Paz.

*****

Author's Notes:

I can't believe our beloved big blue warrior has passed. :'( Although many wish or believe that he could have survived, I say, let Paz have his warrior's death. As painful as it is, Paz deserved to go like a real hero (even if 'hero' doesn't exist in Mandalorian vocabulary as the lore says). Now the torch of Clan Vizsla is now in Ragnar's hands. ;_; Please pray for Ragnar. Lol ugly sobbing~

P.S. and edit: This epistolary fic is inspired by “death letters” written by soldiers who are regularly deployed on dangerous missions, so they write letters to their families just in case, in a pov as though they had already gone. Of course if they do survive, they either disregard or dispose of the letter or keep it until the next mission. Paz seems pretty hardcore from the beginning and he was most probably ready for anything especially a warrior’s death. 💔💙

*****

Read more stories on Clan Vizsla's own clan of two: Paz and Ragnar 💙:

"A Future Yet Unknown" (also on AO3)

"Only One Creed" (also on AO3)

"From The Ashes" (also on AO3)

"All The Little Foundlings" (also on AO3)

#the mandalorian fanfiction #the mandalorian season 3 #mando season 3 spoilers #star wars fanfics #star wars fanfiction #mando fanfic #the mandalorian #father and son relationship #clan vizsla #paz vizsla #ragnar vizsla #epistolary #grief and loss #foundlings are the future #my fics #my writing #more star wars orphans

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fugengulsen · 7 months

Video

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It will do you no harm to find yourself ridiculous. Resign yourself to be the fool you are.

You will find that you survive humiliation And that’s an experience of incalculable value.

That is the worst moment, when you feel you have lost The desires for all that was most desirable, Before you are contented with what you can desire; Before you know what is left to be desired; And you go on wishing that you could desire What desire has left behind. But you cannot understand. How could you understand what it is to feel old?

We die to each other daily. What we know of other people Is only our memory of the moments During which we knew them. And they have changed since then. To pretend that they and we are the same Is a useful and convenient social convention Which must sometimes be broken. We must also remember That at every meeting we are meeting a stranger.

There was a door And I could not open it. I could not touch the handle. Why could I not walk out of my prison? What is hell? Hell is oneself. Hell is alone, the other figures in it Merely projections. There is nothing to escape from And nothing to escape to. One is always alone.

Half the harm that is done in this world Is due to people who want to feel important. They don’t mean to do harm — but the harm does not interest them. Or they do not see it, or they justify it Because they are absorbed in the endless struggle To think well of themselves.

There are several symptoms Which must occur together, and to a marked degree, To qualify a patient for my sanitorium: And one of them is an honest mind. That is one of the causes of their suffering.

To men of a certain type The suspicion that they are incapable of loving Is as disturbing to their self-esteem As, in cruder men, the fear of impotence.

I must tell you That I should really like to think there’s something wrong with me — Because, if there isn’t, then there’s something wrong With the world itself — and that’s much more frightening! That would be terrible. So, I’d rather believe there’s something wrong with me, that could be put right.

Everyone’s alone — or so it seems to me. They make noises, and think they are talking to each other; They make faces, and think they understand each other. And I’m sure they don’t. Is that a delusion?

Can we only love Something created in our own imaginations? Are we all in fact unloving and unloveable? Then one is alone, and if one is alone Then lover and beloved are equally unreal And the dreamer is no more real than his dreams.

I shall be left with the inconsolable memory Of the treasure I went into the forest to find And never found, and which was not there And is perhaps not anywhere? But if not anywhere Why do I feel guilty at not having found it?

Disillusion can become itself an illusion If we rest in it.

Two people who know they do not understand each other, Breeding children whom they do not understand And who will never understand them.

There is another way, if you have the courage. The first I could describe in familiar terms Because you have seen it, as we all have seen it, Illustrated, more or less, in lives of those about us. The second is unknown, and so requires faith — The kind of faith that issues from despair. The destination cannot be described; You will know very little until you get there; You will journey blind. But the way leads towards possession Of what you have sought for in the wrong place.

We must always take risks. That is our destiny.

If we all were judged according to the consequences Of all our words and deeds, beyond the intention And beyond our limited understanding Of ourselves and others, we should all be condemned.

Only by acceptance of the past will you alter its meaning.

All cases are unique, and very similar to others.

Every moment is a fresh beginning.

~T.S. Eliot - The Cocktail Party

#youtube

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