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johannestevans · 1 year

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Luca's Monster

Cute fiction short! A boy talks to the monster that keeps coming out from under his bed. 1.2k.

More original fic here.

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It’s 09:12PM according to the little clock that Luca insisted his mother get for him instead of any of the kid’s ones – it’s just plain and black with red text, like people have in old movies. Luca is lying in bed because he woke up at the noise, and he’s not moving because he doesn’t want it to know he’s awake.

His parents won’t believe him.

Mum even said, “Oh, Luca, we’ve got you a big boy clock – don’t you want to act like a big boy and stop believing in things that aren’t real?”

And she said sorry, after, and that she didn’t mean it, that she could call for them if he needed, except that if he calls for them or tries to get out of bed, it will know.

Luca hears the floorboards creaking and sees its shadows, always wraps himself up as tightly as he can in his blankets and closes his eyes as much as he can, waits desperately for it to go away whenever it shows up. He gets glimpses of it sometimes, its white scaly body, the thick spines running down its back, its leathery wings.

It made a noise once, a horrible chittering sound that went right through him, like if Mrs Rickson’s cat, Mustard, did its bird-chatter noise except if it was super loud and really high-pitched and horrible.

Steeling himself, Luca opens one eye.

The monster is sitting on the floor looking up at his fish tank, kind of cross-legged on top of his whale-shaped rug, and it’s softly lit by the glow of his night light. It doesn’t look exactly like they do at school when they sit cross-legged, because there are horns on its knees, but it’s close enough. When it turns its head, following one of the fish’s movements.

Luca sees that its eyes are wide as dinner plates, the pupils all stretched out just like Mustard looking at birds, and he might be scared of the monster but he loves his fish, he takes good care of them and it took ages for his parents to let him have them, especially in his room.

“You’d better not eat them!” he hisses. “You get away from them right now!”

The monster jolts, turning around and looking at him with its hackles raised and his wings spread a bit, like it’s trying to look scary and big – but really, the monster isn’t much bigger than him, even with the wings on, and without them, he’s probably even smaller.

“Aren’t you supposed to be asleep?” asks the monster sort of haughtily, his voice chittering like a bug’s.

“How am I meant to sleep when there’s a monster in my bedroom?”

“You normally seem to manage it,” mutters the monster, and peers back at the fish. “You keep these to eat them?”

“No! You mustn’t eat them! They’re my friends!”

“Oh,” says the monster. “Funny friends you have. Do you like to watch them swim about?”

Luca stares at the monster warily. “Yes,” he says. “They’re nice. They look nice.”

“Yes,” agrees the monster, examining the tank. “What are they?”

“Don’t you know?”

“Should I?”

“They’re fish.”

“Oh, right,” says the monster. “And, uh… What’s a fish?”

“How can you not know what a fish is?”

“Well, I’ve only ever seen them here. I suppose that’s how.”

“They’re… They’re animals that live in the water. They breathe in it.”

“Breathe in water?”

“Yes.”

“How do they do that?”

“They’ve got gills.”

“What’s gills?”

“You’ve really never seen a fish before?”

“Should I have?”

Luca does something he’s never done before while the monster was in his room: he gets out of bed. Wrapped in his blanket, he comes slowly over and sits beside the monster on the floor, looking cautiously back at the monster the same way he’s looking back at him.

“These are freshwater fish,” says Luca. “I wanted tropical fish but my parents were worried I wouldn’t take care of them properly.”

“What’s the difference?”

“Colours, behaviours. But the water is salty and you have to have particular temperatures and stuff to keep them healthy.” He points and says, “This is Charlie, he’s a betta fish, that’s a kind of Siamese fighting fish. But they’re quite territorial, so I had to be really careful about picking the other fish, like this is Buddy, and he’s a Kuhli loach.”

“And which one is the gills?”

“They all have gills. You see the way there’s like, a flap, here? It’s going out and then going in, kind of like when we breathe and our chests move, and that’s our lungs, except they do everything with their gills instead so they like… Filter the air out of the water with them.”

The monster doesn’t, like his parents do, interrupt and change the subject as Luca keeps talking about the fish. He doesn’t see to get bored, like his friends do at school – he listens very raptly as Luca points and explains all their behaviours and where they come from and what they’re called and why, even the ghost shrimp.

And he asks questions about the way he looks after the tank, and how he cleans it, and asks about other fish he’d like, and what tropical fish he wants and why, and says it all looks very complicated, but worthwhile.

“Don’t monsters have pets?” asks Luca.

“I don’t really know,” says the monster. “We don’t, but I haven’t met everyone in the world. Maybe it’s just us.”

This strikes Luca as being either an extremely sensible answer or the opposite, and he can’t decide which.

“Well,” he says graciously, “you can share mine, if you like. But only to look at.”

“I like looking at them,” says the monster quietly. “They’re very nice.”

“Is that why you come in my room at night?”

“I don’t really decide where I go. I like it here, though.”

“Well,” says Luca as he crawls back into bed, because his clock says it’s nearly midnight now and he’s very, very tired. “You can ask me about things, if you like, another night. About fish or— or about other things.”

The monster pauses a moment, and then asks, sort of cautiously, “Like friends?”

Luca hesitates. There’s a lot of people who don’t actually want to be his friend, even before he starts talking about fish.

“I don’t have any friends,” says the monster. “My father says it’s because I’m too insular.”

“What’s insular mean?”

“I’m not really sure. He doesn’t seem to think it’s a good thing.”

Luca says very quickly, with a kind of fake confidence to make sure the monster feels better, “Of course we’re friends.”

The monster smiles, and it’s really quite a horrible twisting of its white leathery face, but it’s not as frightening as it was before.

“Alright,” it says, turning back to look at the fish, rocking gently in place and making the shadows move on the walls, but this time it seems to Luca that it’s quite nice, actually, kind of like the reflections of the water moving. “Friends.”

It’s easier to sleep that night, curled up in the blanket with a slight smile on his lips.

Easier than it ever has been.

FIN.

#musings #original fic #original fiction #monstrous may #long post for ts

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xtom-darling-x17 · 1 year

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could you do a blurb with tom and you two are just all cuddly and cute in bed and yeah lol you can choose the dialogue but something like that

Joy for the holidays

Pairing - Tom Holland x Reader

Summary - You and Tom have matching pjs and cuddle in bed.

Warnings - None just Fluffy love

A/N - Thank you for requesting, hope you enjoy! Since it is now the Christmas season, thought to create it a little festival.

Snow covers the roof tops of most houses, kids playing outside with their family in the snow, Cars driving by to look at the pretty lights through the night.

“I bought you Christmas pjs,” You grin at Tom, “We are matching,” you twirl around in yours, giving him his.

“Thanks, Darling,” Tom takes the pjs from you, packing the rest of the shopping away, “I’ll change in a min, then we can cuddle,”

You run up stairs, hiding under the covers as you hear foot steps. Tom lifts up the covers to find you, “Who do we have here?” He grins, taking his hands towards you to tickle.

“Oh no not the tickle monster!” You gasp.

“Stop,” You laugh, Tom eventually gets into bed with you with his pjs on.

“Would you date me if I was a Christmas tree, snow elf?” You giggle into Tom’s toned chest as you hide your face at the nonsense question.

“A Christmas tree.. snow, elf?” Tom questioned, raising an eyebrow, “I did hear that correctly? Didn’t I?”

“Yes,” You squeal, none stop giggling at his reaction.

“Of course I wouldn’t,” Tom teases you, looking at your face dropping instantly to pouting, “Oh no, I’m only joking darling,” he hugs you tight.

“Of course I would,” Tom kisses your forehead to make you feel better.

“You said you wouldn’t,” Pretending to be upset, you try to turn away playfully.

“You know.. I would, baby,” Tom reassured you, “Cuddle meeee,” he squishes you with his strong, toned arms keeping you in place.

“Tommy,” You whine, “Are you sure? Before I cuddle you,”

“Omg,” Tom breathes out laughing, “Yes,”

“Mm ok good!” You smile once again snuggled up to tom under the warm covers while having matching pjs on.

Tom caresses your jaw line, pulling you in for a passionate kiss full of meaning and love. He pulls you closer to him as he slips his warm tongue into your mouth. Snogging the face off of you.

“Your warm,” You sigh on repeat, “You are too love,” Tom strokes your locks as he relaxes further into the bed.

“You do smell nice,” Tom smells your hair, “Do I?” You chuckle, “You do too,”

“Mm, yep.. my fave fragrance,”

“My Beautiful Angel,” Tom peppers kisses around your face as you giggle.

“Says yourself,” You grin, taking Tom in for another kiss.

“What can I say?” Tom winks, joking.

You playfully push him, him only bringing you back deeper into his chest.

“You can’t escape,” Tom teases, “The cuddle monster has you got you now!”

“Oh, that’s ok!” You smile, looking up to his beautiful, honey warm eyes as he looks dumbfounded.

“What?” You giggle, “I love your cuddles.. don’t be surprised,”

“Nothing, I’m just dreaming into your eyes,” Tom breathes out, catching his breath as he flickers his eyes between yours and your lips.

Tom leans into capture your lips into a soft tender kiss full of bliss, raw passion. You close your eyes, filling the taste of each other.

You both pull apart, yet going back to connect again.

“How was Christmas shopping with your brothers go?” You beamed, finally back to talking to each other.

“It was good, got lots of presents for people.. including you,” Tom smirked, teasing you.

“That’s great, I did shopping with your mum don’t forget,” You tease back, “Might of gotten you some bits and bobs too..”

“Well, can’t wait,”

You run your hands through his hair as you both relax and close your eyes, “We should build a snowman tomorrow,” Tom mumbles.

“Mm, Yh we should,”

You sigh turning over on your stomach, feeling Tom’s warm hands go under your shirt to rub your back.

“Mm, that feels nice!” You hummed, smiling.

“Does it Darling?” Tom kisses your temple, “Yh, your hands are so large and smooth,” You sink into his chest more as him relaxing you takes over you.

“Are you tired?” Tom strokes holl your hair, admiring the way you sleepily look at his face, “Go to sleep, my Christmas tree, snow elf,” He whispers, kissing your forehead.

“You need your beauty sleep to build the snowman,”

“Mm,” You purred, smiling, “Night,”

“Goodnight, Love you so much Darling,” Tom gives you a goodnight kiss.

“Love you so much too, Tommy,” You pout your lips against his as you kiss, falling back into his warm, toned chest. You close your eyes and drifting off to sleep.

#tom holland x reader #tom holland #tom holland fandom #tomhollandfan #tom holland x you #tom holland fluff #lovers #christmas fic

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lady-murderess · 1 year

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I don't think Wednesday and Eugene's relationship gets spoken about enough.

It's wholesome.

It's nice that she's taken him under her wing and the fact that he reminds her of Pugsley makes her that little bit more human - regardless of whether she'd like that or not.

Clearly, she took Eugene under her wing because she felt she had some sort of relation to him, which would be the fact that the two of them are outcasts among outcasts. They don't fit in. Even though Wednesday would much prefer not to fit in with the crowd, she perhaps saw that it was much different for him and he was on the outside looking in, wanting to belong. It's like one of his mums said, "He hasn't had the best time fitting in." And he couldn't stop talking about Wednesday joining the bee club because he was finally not alone. He had someone.

To be honest, the whole dynamic is sweet when you think about it. She sticks up for him and is more than willing to drag him along on her little investigation.

During Outreach Day, she involves herself and protects him from Lucas and his cronies, and once she's pulled him aside, she wipes off the vomit from his face and goes on to admit: "You remind me of my brother. Sans the desire to strangle him every waking moment." Despite being reminded of her brother, Wednesday doesn't have the same feelings towards him as she does Pugsley. She doesn't feel the need to torture him, perhaps she feels that he goes through enough in Nevermore? And maybe when it comes to Pugsley, she feels she can be evil to him because well... that's what siblings do in a way, and it's sort of the same premise of how Wednesday and Pugsley are towards Pubert in Addams Family Values (1993).

And when it comes to Eugene... Hummers stick together.

Wednesday is quick to go after Eugene once she gets that vision at the Rave'N. Yes, if she had a vision of anyone else getting attacked by the Hyde, she would of course go. But it would be out of curiosity of the monster and how it killed its victim. But because it's Eugene, it's personal. There's more of an urgency to go as she does not hesitate to go to him, she isn't going to do a full inspection of a crime scene, it's to try and help him.

Not only did she ask Thing to monitor him once he was admitted to the hospital, she also harvested the honey and brought him it. Wednesday visited him in hospital frequently and talked to him regardless of the fact that he could not engage in conversation, and clearly regretted not realising he'd go into the woods anyway, or even the fact that she didn't go with him. "The bees miss you, Eugene. We all do." is how she tells him she misses him as she uses the word "we" instead of "I". Perhaps some others do miss him too, but it isn't really all that deep. Yes, there is most likely empathy and concern among the people who know him, but there's no personal connection there.

And it's clear that Wednesday holds the guilt of what happened to him on her shoulders. "It should be me in that bed." she tells Thing, and has a look of guilt that she wears every time we see her visit him, she is remorseful.

And look, she's more than willing to even to call Weems out for him too. Because what is she doing to protect Eugene? Turning a blind eye to what's happening around the school isn't helping anyone and got him into danger.

It's the fact that she's relieved to see him awake too. It's in her eyes.

I could say more but we'd be here all day. So, all I'll say is that I look forward to seeing them together again in the next season.

#i fucking love their dynamic #wednesday addams #eugene ottinger #wednesday netflix #lady murderess #gamsgifs #my gifs

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changingplumbob · 6 months

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Foster Household: Chapter 7, Part 1

I swear last time I played this household Reece wasn't as muscular. I have no idea what he's been doing in the background to achieve this.

In this part Reece and Carson bicker like only brothers can, I reacquaint myself with how beautiful Sulani is even when it's cloudy, and Reece considers skipping prom.

Back in Sulani, a place I think makes every landscape photo beautiful by default. It's been a minute since I've checked in with the Fosters. I have seasons set to 4 weeks each and play each household for a week. Last time I was with these guys was Winter, it's late Autumn now.

Kayleigh has mastered the painting skill and is working on advancing in the painting career. Her side project is getting masterpiece quality versions of all classic paintings. Well, my side project. Her current aspiration is earning a truckload of simoleons.

Harvey will be turning 60 this rotation 😲 Luckily he wont be an elder until 65. He's still working on catching every fish in game, and perfecting his garden. He would love some grandkids but I don't think that'll be happening anytime soon.

Carson, Carson, Carson. Once again I got distracted by side plots last chapter and forgot to mark Carson turning 10. He's a preteen now and after already completing several aspirations is having some time being a playful kid while he still can.

Last up, Reece. Best friend to Deanna, he's harbouring a crush on football teammate Samir. Reece got up the nerve to kiss him, only for Samir to run off. Since then though they've been able to get back to being friends. Well, friends who flirt a heck of a lot more than platonic friends do.

Harvey starts off Saturday right, making some pancakes to stock up the fridge.

Harvey: Come eat!

Carson: I'm doing laundry, you should raise my allowance

Harvey: You don't get an allowance

Carson: Well I should

Harvey: Just come eat. You too Reece

Reece: What's the point

Harvey: I'm not following

Reece: Why eat when I'm just going to die alone

Harvey: You know nothing of the kind

Carson: He will because no one likes him

Reece: Shut up twerp

Carson: You shut up

Harvey: Boys! Stop fighting

Reece: He started it

Carson: You started it with your stupid whining. "Oh I'm so pathetically stupid"

Reece: I'm a genius

Carson: Says no one. You probably will die alone

Reece: And you'll die when the monster under your bed gets hungry

Harvey: I'm getting too old for this nonsense

Carson: There's not really a monster under my bed, is there?

Kayleigh: There is not, don't listen to your brother

Harvey: You get along with your sisters, why not your brother

Reece: My sisters never read my diary

Carson: I told you! I overheard you on the phone because you speak loud

Kayleigh: Reece it's time to move on

Reece: But he hasn't even apologised

Carson: I'm not apologising for having ears that work

Kayleigh: Are you ready for prom

Reece: You're changing the subject

Harvey: Parent's privilege, are you?

Reece: I don't know, it's just a pop music fest that stresses me out

Kayleigh: You know you don't have to go

Reece: But you paid for my ticket

Kayleigh: It wont break the bank

Reece: Everyone at school goes

Kayleigh: It's up to you but you don't have to do a thing just because everyone else does it

Reece: Okay, I'll do my yoga and meditate on it

Carson: Later loser

Reece: Dweeb

Kayleigh: And what are your plans for today

Carson: Iggy is busy so I might just bike around

Kayleigh gets started on finishing off paintings she began between chapters. Carson took two steps outside and got freaked out by how deep the ocean looked. So we compromised and he went swimming in the pool while Harvey began his daily run around sandy beaches.

Carson: How deep is the ocean

Kayleigh: I have no idea

Carson: Doesn't that scare you mum

Kayleigh: I wouldn't have moved here if it did

Meanwhile Harvey experiments with some running on water. The sand is right over there but apparently running in ankle deep water is too tempting.

After his yoga Reece gets an idea of what to do.

Reece: Can you come over

...

Lilith: Are we here to practice or for you to keep checking your phone

Reece: Sorry. I wanted to ask, have you been to all your proms

Lilith: Do I look like I care about prom

Reece: So no

Lilith: No Reece, I haven't, why

Reece: Do you think many other teens think like you

Lilith: No idea, but I'm a YA tomorrow so who even cares anymore

Reece: Because for straight people prom seems to be like, the thing

Lilith: What are you getting at, you're not trying to ask me to prom are you

Reece: No! I mean you're nice but-

Reece: Watcher damn it

Lilith: Ship, sorry, I slipped

Reece: It's fine. I didn't need my face anyway

Lilith: Har har

Reece: Like I was saying, I'm gay

Lilith: Breaking news! Obvious guy states the obvious!

Reece: Wait, you knew

Lilith: Dude you drool over Samir like five times I day

Reece: I don't!

Lilith: Keep telling yourself that bub

Reece: I don't actually drool, do I

Lilith: It's called a metaphor, doesn't your genius ass recognise that

Reece: Has Samir told you I drool

Lilith: OMW are we here to gossip or practice football? Convince me I'm not leaving the team to someone who can't catch

Reece: Come on, give me a hint

Lilith: I don't get involved in other people's business alright

Reece: I don't want to know everyone's business, just...

Lilith: Oh this is painful. If you want to know if he cares about prom, just ask him. For now, I know it's off season but keep up the practice dude

Kayleigh and Carson set off from home about the same time to take in the island views. Carson doesn't bother changing out of his swimwear, confident he wont get sunburned. Kayleigh hopes the scenic beaches can inspire her next masterpiece, she's so close to her next celebrity level.

Reece: Hey

Samir: Sup blondie

Reece: You know how prom is full of blaring pop music

Samir: And people, don't forget the people

Reece: Right. I was wondering if you maybe... wanted to... skip prom... with, with me

Samir: Skip prom with you?

Reece: It was just an idea

Samir: Meet you at the park at 7

Garden tended, run complete, fridge stocked. Harvey can now take some time to himself to work on his fish collection. He heads for his canoe only to discover someone parked their jetski in a stupid place, boxing him in. It takes some careful navigating, and me deleting the jetski, for him to pass.

Kayleigh has begun work on another painting, hopefully we can sell this one. Out a sea Harvey feels a tug on his line and stands up to reel it in. Turns out it's a mahi mahi. Harvey has room in his aquariums for this catch.

Reece: Hey mum, I've been thinking, I don't know what I want to be after high school

Kayleigh: That's not uncommon

Reece: Everyone else seems to have it sorted

Kayleigh: If you pick something you like, you wont go wrong

Reece: I'll probably be out late tonight

Kayleigh: At prom?

Reece: not exactly

Deanna: You can't just text someone "won't be at prom tonight 💀"

Kayleigh: Reece? Are you giving everyone heart attacks

Reece: I'm skipping prom... with Samir

Kayleigh: Cute!

Reece: Mum

Kayleigh: I mean, how mature

Deanna: Good thing we got photos last time. Good luck tonight dude

Reece: Back at ya

Previous Part (Villareal) ... Next Part

#sims 4 #the sims #the sims 4 #rotation7 #ChangingPlumbobStorytime #FosterHousehold #ReeceFoster #KayleighFoster #HarveyFoster #CarsonFoster #DeannaYork #Sulani #Parenthood #Masterpiece #NiceCatch #Why does football practice tank relationships I hate it #R0708

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pacifymebby · 4 months

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personally with saltburn i don’t think oliver had a true motive other than power, felix and his family are obviously very affluent but not only that but they are well liked (at least on a surface level) and i’m not sure if others can relate but in the beginning when you see oliver in his lectures with farleigh despite doing the work there’s a clear favouritism between the professor and farleigh and that is something i can relate to when in school if you work hard but aren’t as good at forming connections or are quieter teachers can prefer students who don’t work as hard and that does build resentment to people oliver clearly is very callous but we don’t know that at the beginning we are lied to just as felix is when we find out felix adopts people he sees as less than him every summer we start to dislike him. but then we find out oliver’s true nature and felix using working class people to boost his ego is nothing in comparison to that. but rich people and those close to them think they are untouchable and oliver brings them down one by one he disrupts their security from within their own home a vast estate which is far away from the problems those who are rich don’t even think of. i think oliver wanted what felix had which is being carefree around money, being able to treat people like they are unimportant and them still wanting to be around him basically being able to do what he wanted and oliver being someone clearly not in his right mind went to extreme lengths. at the end of the movie he’s looking at the toy that’s of the cattons they are dancing as puppets in front of him as he roams the house completely naked. this is so long i’m sorry if it doesn’t make sense also i understand if you don’t read all this!

Aw nah I read all of it and I get what you're saying as well, it's an interesting take.

I relate to that too at the beginning, but more on the level of like you can work as hard as you want and be as personable as you like but if you don't have connections and money in worlds like Oxford/Cambridge/St Andrews (the unis all the elite go to basically) then your intelligence and stuff doesn't mean that much. If your lectures went to uni with your classmates parents and regularly rub shoulders with them then you're not going to get the same leg ups and treatments.

The power thing definitely comes into it too, at first I was super confused about how Oliver seemed to keep switching between a very meek and submissive personality, playing at being awkward and shy, and then all of a sudden making out like he was Daddy with the sister and Farleigh, and tbh I think it was supposed to be jarring but also not directed wonderfully because it happened so awkwardly?

I genuinely think the whole things meant to be viewed as satire and total fantasy tbh, like Oliver isn't supposed to have much depth to him because he's just the representation of like the monster under the bed that the elites in the 21st century fear.

Something my friend pointed out too is that there's running theme of him being a parasite who wants to consume them all too... Like he sooks up Felix's bathwater, says the whole "I'm a vampire" thing to the sister, the way he kills the mum in the end too by cutting off her oxygen it's all very symbolic of that. So I think he really is supposed to be this garish rich persons worst nightmare. I dont know how much I think he even wants power, I think it mostly comes from a place of hatefulness and 0 respect? Like he low-key dances naked on their grave at the end naked dancing in front of the stones with their names on.

Like idk about you but I thought Felix was the perfect read on arsehole poshboy at school, that bit where Oliver gives him the bike and he's like "oh wow yah that's soh khaind" there's something about him that immediately rubs me up the wrong day because he doesn't see Oli or even notice people like that until they serve him in some way, we see him treat that girl as disposable too. When Oli says "I was just being what you wanted me to be" that's so what being in those sort of rich people's lives is like. And I suppose it's probably trying to ask us what's worse, to be like Felix and his family (who see no value in others other than to serve as their props) or to be like Oli (who sees no value in felix and his family other than to serve as leverage)

Like ultimately Oli and felix's family are all guilty of the same things - lying to people (Oli who obvs lies about so so much) (Felix in that he uses Oli and other poor people to lie to himself about how generous he is and like how charitable he is when really he just wants a pet) (the rest of the family who seem to lie to everyone by putting on this pretence of being lovely and accommodating, but are actually deeply judgemental and quite selfish/paranoid about being generous)

Like we see Olis disregard for human life in the way he kills them all, but we see felix's family also show disregard for human life too when their friend dies and the mother says "she'll do anything for attention" especially because you could argue their friend wouldn't have died if they hadn't pushed her out of the house for fear she was leaching off their hospitality.

The more I think about it I think that actually all Oliver's sins are mirrored by Felix and his family, lying, 0 respect for human life, leaching off others (because felix and his family leach off Oliver's trauma and like Rosamund's character is telling all her friends deeply personal traumatic shit about Oliver for her own social gain to show everyone how generous she is) like I wonder if in a way the point of the film is to make us question why we forgive Felix and his family for their evil but are disgusted by Oliver's. It's actually something Rosamund is constantly dropping too when she talks of her aversion to ugly people, she says about how "you wouldn't think it because she's such a riot to look at but..." as if like beautiful and stylish people can't be bad... Like I think wealth allows people to distance themselves from their moral ugliness in a ways that poverty prevents poor people from doing? There's probably a lot of academic research into this as a social trend but as I have read no deeper than Chavs by Owen Jones I am unfortunately unable to site anything other than when he talks about how we allow rich posh people to swear and say offensive things because they do it in a camp/quaint way, but we don't forgive working class celebrities for saying fuck or being racist (I don't think we should forgive racism btw it's just we forgive it in rich people more often than we do in poor people)

I'm also sorry this was so long, honestly I watched it not expecting to have this many thoughts but its actually really interesting to think about

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phanfictioncatalogue · 1 year

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Fics With The Same Title (4) Masterlist

Links Last Checked: June 4th, 2023

part one, part two, part three

Bad Day - auroraphilealis

Summary: Dan and Phil are on tour, but that doesn’t stop Dan from having bad days sometimes. Thankfully, Phil’s always there to… make them seem more bearable.

Bad Day (ao3) - chatoyment

Summary: Nothing seems to be going right with everything that Dan does on that certain Saturday. It only got worse when Phil and him have a big argument for the first time in their new relationship.

Bad Day - mermaidstailonmyface

Summary: phan fic where Dan has had a very bad day at college and goes to Phil's house for the usual round of video games and Phil, uh, makes it better?

Carry Me (ao3) - Flarky

Summary: Dan's week without his meds has left him exhausted. Luckily Phil is there to carry him. (Aka that week in march).

Carry Me - jestbee

Summary: He's not obsessed. It really doesn't matter what Louise says.

“You're looking again."

"At what?"

"Your roommate."

Phil isn't looking. He's checking.

"Pass the butter," is what he says instead.

"You have butter."

"I need more butter."

Caught (ao3) - Do_it_with_the_Howell_Lesters

Summary: 2009 d&p figure out what sex is and they're like... that's good, so they do it on the pool table at Phil's parents but then his mum walks in.

Caught (ao3) - hygge

Summary: Just because they weren’t together anymore didn’t mean that Dan couldn’t read phanfiction while he got off, right? Or at least that’s what he thought before Phil walked into the room.

Caught (ao3) - MaeTaurus

Summary: Dan knows he shouldn’t, knows that Phil could walk in on him any second and catch him, but he just can’t help it.

Creature Of The Night (ao3) - glitterhowell

Summary: Dan's skin is cold and doesn't have a beating heart that is until the night Phil Lester walks into the same bar as him.

Creature of the Night (ao3) - obsessive-fics (xoPrincessKayxo)

Summary: Phil is the monster under Dan's bed

Driving Me Wild - junghossokarchive-blog

Summary: In which Dan likes wearing croptops and shorts, Phil is a punk youtuber who drools over him and Louise wants them to stop pining.

driving me wild (ao3) - twinklyhowell

Summary: dan's fingers clawed into phil's shoulders as phil quickened his pace, stroking quicker and longer, and dan's eyes rolled into the back of head, jerking back, choking out moans. he became louder, and phil's smirk widened.

Duality - etoilesdephan

Summary: It was eerie in the prison, yet somehow Dan’s smile could calm him down.

Duality (ao3) - melapplesphan

Summary: During the filming of their 2018 Easter baking video, Phil finds that he can’t stop staring at Dan’s curls and wishing he was wearing his pastel outfit, so he asks Dan to put it on for him. Or, how Phil finally stumbles onto the main reason why he gets so turned on during the late nights he and Dan spend baking. In which Phil has a thing for Pastel Dan, running his fingers through Dan’s curls, and telling Dan he’s beautiful. Equal parts fluff and smut. Please heed the tags.

Hurricane (ao3) - DryCereal

Summary: "In the eye of a hurricane there is quiet/For just a moment"

Hurricane (ao3) - eudaimonic

Summary: In which Dan and Phil live in New York in the not-so-distant future and are brought together by extraneous variables. Their meeting is intrinsic. Their power is ineffable.

Interrupted By Fireworks (ao3) - interruptedbyfjreworks

Summary: Dan and Phil watch the fireworks while in America on the Fourth of July.

interrupted by fireworks (ao3) - nostalgicphan

Summary: [ 2009!phan au ]

dan has the strange ability to hear whenever anybody anywhere is saying something positive about him.

for the past ten years, he’s been living in silence, dealing with the fact that nobody out there has anything good to say about him.

until one day, he hears something...

Lollipop (ao3) - blissedoutphil

Summary: Dan sucks on a lollipop and it turns Phil on and Dan teases Phil and acts like he doesn’t notice and it leads to punishment

lollipop (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: In where Dan's bisexual and slutty as fuck and Phil just wants his candy business to take off.

Monster (ao3) - celeistic

Summary: Phil is sick and tired of Dan suddenly treating him like nothing. So, he decides to confront him about it, and it goes a bit sour.

Monster - helloanonymouswriter

Summary: Dan controls fire and Phil controls ice and they hate each other from previous events they do not speak off. However, when Dan gets hurt in battle Phil finds his hatred dissipating and replaced with worry.

Monster (ao3) - PatheticPidgey

Summary: Something strange is going on, and Dan doesn't like it. Until, he ends up loving it.

morning (ao3) - watergator

Summary: a morning shared during the rain

Morning (ao3) - whylime

Summary: Dan wakes up not feeling his best, so Phil helps him feel better.

Oops (ao3) - dip_and_pip_trash

Summary: It only took one miss click for the world to find out the truth about Dan and Phil's relationship.

Oops (ao3) - lilyxxxooo

Summary: The boys have a drunken night together and are suddenly overcome by feelings. They decide to remain just friends but both struggle with this decision.

Oops (ao3) - rennyassance

Summary: “I was imitating a fight scene off this anime I watched and accidentally hit you in the face.”

Rain (ao3) - Nefertiti1052 (Succubusphan), schnaf

Summary: When their dinner date gets ruined, the boys need to find a way to make it work.

Rain (ao3) - phanburnhamizzard

Summary: It's a cold day with ominous purple clouds in the sky when Daniel Howell bolts out of his apartment and heads downtown. Phil Lester is left in their apartment alone, stunned, in the aftermath of their argument.

Separated from one another, they think back on their relationship, Dan's depression, and what their friendship really means to them.

Then, it starts to rain...

Seven Years (ao3) - DryCereal

Summary: Dan: “Phil plays 'Hello Internet' to wind me up sometimes……. It is the guaranteed way to upset Dan.” Vidcon 2016 Panel – ‘The First Time I Hit Upload’

Seven Years (ao3) - phanimist

Summary: three instances where dan and phil reminisce on their first meeting back on october 19th, 2009.

Seven Years (ao3) - prettysweet

Summary: Dan turns up in Manchester a little younger than Phil thought.

Speak Now - phanlight

Summary: teenage!phan are best friends and phil has a crush on dan. phil also has a parrot and one afternoon when dan's at his house the parrot says "i love dan" or something and then fluff happens.

speak now (ao3) - overcastphan

Summary: Phil is not the kind of boy who should be rudely barging in on a white veil occasion, but Dan isn't the type of boy who should be marrying the wrong girl.

sticky notes (ao3) - xpetriichxr

Summary: Dan is having a hard time dealing with anxiety and craves reassurance, but he just doesn't know how to ask for it.

Sticky Notes - auroraphilealis

Summary: When Phil realizes Dan spends so much time in the bathroom telling himself off, he decides to take matters into his own hand’s and starts leaving Sticky Notes to cheer his best friend up.

Sticky Notes (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Dan keeps getting notes in his locker from a secret admirer...

Too High, Can't Come Down (ao3) - calumthomases (orphan_account)

Summary: Phil never expected to be sticking his dick through a hole in the wall for some stranger to suck, and yet, here he is.

He isn't even that down for this. Personally, he's not really a glory hole person. Well, he's a glory hole porn person, but that's completely different.

Title from Toxic by Britney Spears

too high (can't come down) (ao3) - danfanciesphil (thejigsawtimess)

Summary: Suspending himself 7,000 feet above the rest of the world seems likely to be a sure-fire way for Dan to escape normality, and isolate himself for the foreseeable future. The Secret of the Alps, a small hotel tucked into the side of the Swiss mountains is too niche for most avid adventurers to have heard of, making it the perfect place for Dan to work as he sorts through his problems. Unfortunately, privacy is a coveted thing, and as Dan soon finds out, the hotel harbours one guest who values it more than most.

When the Day Met the Night - camisadan

Summary: “When the sun found the moon she was drinking tea in a garden under the green umbrella trees in the middle of summer. When the moon found the sun he looked like he was barely hanging on but her eyes saved his life in the middle of summer.”

When the Day Met the Night - cocktailaunt

Summary: Dan Howell is what every high school student aspires to be. A player on the football team and invited to every party within a 10 mile radius, Dan doesn't have much to complain about. Everyone knows who Dan Howell is. Until someone doesn’t. Phil, an artist with dark hair and a paint-stained leather jacket. He’s alternative, he’s different. But maybe Dan needs something a little different.

When the Day Met the Night (ao3) - thrillerqueen

Summary: Dan is like the moon, cold and dark, and alone. One day he meets a boy who shines like the sun.

#phanfictioncatalogue #phanfic #phan #phanfiction #masterlists #samefic masterlist #samefic

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worldsfromhoney · 4 months

Text

Imposter Syndrome Pt.1

Masterlist | Next

cw: psychological horror, implied incest

I have always known how my mother breathes. I know the soft puffs of air that come from her mouth in place of snores. That’s for dad and I to make. His is like a motorboat and mine the revving of a monster engine. I know she sometimes struggles with the initial inhale, but past the first exhale is fine.

Seeing a machine breathe for her is not fine. Seeing that mask instead of the face I’ve known since birth is not fine.

Nothing about this is fine, and it says so in my expression because dad sees it, stands from where he’s been sitting beside the hospital bed for days, and takes me into his arms. I welcome it. I always welcome dad’s hugs even when I feel the tension in him that’s battling the urge to go back to my mother.

I’m no longer a child. The application form in my bag is proof enough, berating me for taking six years too long to complete it. My dad says so when all twenty-two years of me cling to him longer than I should and he laughs. Dry and scratchy, it sends a wave of relief at me. I haven’t heard him laugh since we moved mother to this hospital.

“Come now,” He says, dropping a kiss on my head and giving me a last squeeze. “Don’t you want to greet your mum?”

I think I give him an answer, but it gets lost as a muffled mumble in his shirt. I’m not ready to let go. There’s a beating heart and a chest that rises and falls properly with no help so near me I don’t want to let it go. It feels like a sin if I do.

I get one shaky breath in and out before dad does eventually make the first move. He gently pushes me away and leaves me for mother. Dad is right, of course. I should greet her, but to what use? This is one of her bad days and only dad, who goes nowhere else, could catch her awake, lucid, and not in excruciating pain.

I still take the seat beside the bed. Dad’s back acting as a sentinel across from me, his hand clasping mother’s. In the short time he’s left her, the wedding band that’s gone too big for her fingers has slipped off. In practiced motions, he slips it back on and I watch as the two bands shine as the brightest gold under the fluorescent lights of a drab hospital room.

Drab to my standards, anyway. Our house is full of colour and energy and mother lying so still in her bed seems to have taken that away, too. I’ve long forgone the weekly flowers. Dad can’t stop his allergies from acting up and mother’s not awake often to complain about the lack of them.

It’s easy to choose the side I take on that matter.

I take mother’s other hand and smile. It’s so small. There are scars and callouses there that I’ve never known the story of and I trace them. Still, it looks pristine in my hold. Beautiful.

My smile widens.

“Hi mum,” I say and from there comes a stream of narrating what I’ve done throughout the day—cleaning the house, welfare checks of our pets, gruelling grunt work at the office, and so on.

The application form for changing my skin burns through my bag and I don’t mention it to mother. It’s not any of her business, but anyone else looking at the details of it would say otherwise. No matter. With how my luck has been lately, I wouldn’t need to do anything at all and mother’s breathing machine would malfunction right at this moment.

I smile at the imagined scenario. It’s the very one that prompted me to apply for her skin.

Ever since mother’s blood oxygen levels could no longer be sustained by a simple tank at home and she wept at night because of the pain, dad has never left her side.

I lie. He has never left her side in the whole time I’ve been aware that they were my parents. Even in the times he should be away and doing his philanthropist work, he always finds a way to come back home—to come back to mother. I loved it when he played hooky. It means more time with him and the house is always livelier with him.

I loved it less when I realised he played hooky only for mother.

“Oh, mum,” I say out loud and freely after I’ve convinced dad to get some coffee for us both. I’m still holding her hand. “If only you could see dad now. You’ll understand me, won’t you? I’m your son, after all. You’ll understand why I’m doing this, right?”

I don’t get an answer and I pinch her hand until that porcelain finish on her skin finally has a blemish. I watch, fascinated, as her body struggles to signal the blood flow in that area to go back to normal. What a waste to keep it this way indeed.

She doesn’t so much as flinch. Her eyelids are still shut and still. Not dreaming, then. Just… sleeping.

I stand and my seat scrapes against the floor in a screech. Mother doesn’t stir. I lean over and cup her too small and thin face. No reaction. The skin is smoother and a finer quality than her hand. She took care of it better. Beautiful.

But these past few months have taken its toll and I could feel her bones more than I can her skin. Her cheeks are close to sunken than full and I worry… For mother? Oh no, never.

“If you see how much he never wants to leave your side, you’ll understand me, won’t you, mum?” I say, tucking a stray hair behind her hair. I smile down at her. “You’ll understand why I want your skin, won’t you? You’ll do it for your dear son, mum, and you’ll be happy for it.”

As I look down at mother’s resting (not restful, no) face, I remember the times I’ve wanted to claw at it. So many times I’ve had to wrangle the urge to wreck this face into an unbearable enough state that even dad, with all his love, can’t look at it anymore.

Then what? What else is there for him but to look at me instead?

But now mother is dying, and I have an application form for a skin change in my bag. The one I have is just a copy. The real one with ink and all the official stamps and signatures is in the queue, ready to be processed the moment mother never exhales again.

I know her breathing so intimately enough to have the right to stop it, don’t I?

There’s no longer the urge to ruin mother’s face. I no longer have to dig my carefully manicured fingers (perfect for—) into my palms every time she smiles at me. Of course it’s gone.

Why would I ruin the face that’ll be mine soon? Why ruin something that’s tried and tested to be loved by dad, no matter if it’s frowning, snarling, or smiling?

“But don’t you worry, mum,” I say, already sitting back down. I take her hand again. I think it twitches. “I’ll take real good care of dad for you. That’s what a dutiful son’s for, right?”

She doesn’t answer, and dad comes back. There’s a furrow in his brow that only clears up when his gaze slides past me and onto my mother’s prone figure. His eyes are hungry as they take her in, like a man starved for years and not someone who was gone for a few minutes.

I look back at mother.

Yes.

Beautiful and mine.

Taglist

@wildthingsandmagic @starbuds-and-rosedust @alexsidereus @adorable-bookworm @th3-scr3ens-ar3-watching

#bee writes some stuff #writeblr #writing #short story #tada a four parter again !!#i released the intro for this a while back #BUT tis the first time im posting it here

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totentnz · 4 years

Photo

ts4 has many MANY flaws but toddlers? adorable and flawless

#sammy says shit #sammy vs ts4 #if you mum looks like this what does the monster under the bed look like?#i love this screenshot bc she's lookin at us #like 'do u mind? im having a moment with my son'

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missluckycharms · 3 years

Text

These small moments.

Single Dad!Harry and his little love, Honey.

Summary: mornings with Honey are Harrys favourite, small chats with blurry eyes and lazy smiles is what makes him feel closer to his little lady.

A/N: ahhh they’re so 🥺 enjoy !!

Click *** for visuals throughout the story.

Warnings: none, just pure fluff and dad jokes.

Word Count: 2.1K

Masterlist.

It’s nearly seven in the morning.

The sunrise shining through the windows and casting a bright warm hue onto Harry’s sleeping body in his bed. The white sheets tossed about and his head buried in the pillow, his cheek smushed to up and his lips slightly parted letting out small snores.

The only sound throughout the whole house is the sound of birds chirping about outside and the engines of cars on their way down the roads, the morning rush nearly upon the streets as people make their way to their nine till five jobs. The house has a slight breeze throughout due to Harry always sleeping with his window cracked open, and his door cracked open also to allow honey to walk in when she needed her Papa.

Speaking of the little love, she’s already awake, in her own small pink coloured bed, many pillows around her and her stuffies lined up against the wall, her favourite stuffie in her hand — Pascal from Tangled is her favourite stuffie, she brings him everywhere, even sneaks him into school in her back pack when Harrys not looking. She does this every morning, she lays in bed and talks to her stuffie or just stares at the ceiling, her glow in the dark stars now white and barely noticeable in the bright room, her pink curtains casting a pink hue around the room.

She waits five minutes before she’s hopping out of her bed and padding along towards her door, she pulls it open as it’s only closed a little, allowing enough of a gap for her small body to fit through. She snuggles pascal as she walks, looking around and noticing her Papa must still be asleep, she immediately darts for his room, peeping her curly head in and looking at his sleeping body, his back facing her and his bed messy as usual, but there’s always enough space for her to snuggle up next to him.

She doesn’t wake him, she tip toes towards the side he’s not laying on, throwing pascal up first before she’s hiking herself up on the large bed, a small groan when she has to put more strength into getting up than usual due to her sleepy state. When she’s up, she brushes the curls from her face with a harsh swipe, her blue doe eyes looking at her Papa, his hair messy like hers. She lays down on the pillow, looking at her Papa as she softly taps his cheek and pushes pascal towards him.

“G’morning button” he grumbles when he hears a small giggle, pascal now on his back as her dimples pop out at how ridiculous the man looks with a small green chameleon stuffie on his bare back. He smiles when he hears her hearty laugh, instantly wrapping his tattooed arm around her and squishing her into his chest.

“Papa! Cant see!” She laughs loudly, her small body being caged by her Dad’s broad muscular one, his own laughs filling the room as she peeps her head up at him, a small pout on her lips which causes him to lean down and peck her lips lightly.

“Have a good sleep? Yeah?” He asks when she nods happily, her small hand playing with his cross necklace as he shuts his eyes for a few more minutes, face buried in her chestnut curls as she talks to him and pascal, Harry never knowing which one she’s actually talking to sometimes.

“Papa? Pancakes now?” She asks after another five minutes, her small attention span running out which causes Harry to wake up from resting his eyes, smile back on his face as he turns them over so he’s laying on his back and Honey is sat on his stomach slapping his chest looking at his tattoos — she loves his tattoos or his “paintings” as she calls them.

“Papa, your pearlies are gone” she says disappointed looking to see that her favourite necklace of his which is his Pearl one, is missing. She loves to run her small hands over it, the feeling and look of it making her eyes wide in awe at the beauty of it.

“Should I wear them today?” He asks with a smile, watching as she rubs her eyes a little, slowly waking herself up as she lets out a small yawn, her small pouty lips returning as she babbles on nonsense as Harry tries to tame her hair a little before he has to style it for her today.

“Love your pearlies Papa” she says brightly, laying down on his chest, her curls tickling his chin as he wraps and arm around her back, rubbing small circles on it as she relaxes a little, her small body still trying to wake up as Harry softly kisses her head.

It’s when his alarm rings when the two actually peel themselves from bed, Honey immediately springing up and slapping his phone to turn off the sound, it’s her favourite thing to do for some reason, she always shouts “I did it Papa!” Which makes him laugh and nod kissing her head proudly. They’re both in the kitchen now, the early start allowing them to lounge about in their comfy clothes for awhile while they make breakfast. Harry is only in a pair of grey joggers while Honey sits on the counter, helping him add in flour and sugar to the pancake batter in her baby pink bunny printed silk pyjama set *** the darker complexion of her skin standing out against the pale pink, Harry was overjoyed when he seen she had the same skin tone as her Mum, her darker skin causing her blue eyes to be brighter.

“Wanna help crack an egg button? Need t’be careful though, don’t want crunch pancakes now do we?” He asks with a grin as she pulls a disgusted face shaking her head. Her small palm helps her Papa’s hand crack the egg and she giggles watching it plop down into the dry mixture.

They scarf down their banana pancakes through small chats and giggles, Harry cracking his usual jokes that have Honey giggling loudly as she shovelled her pancakes into her mouth, their faces hurting from laughing by the time they’re up in her bedroom, Harry standing at her drawers, holding up small outfits as Honey sits like the diva she is on her bed, giving him a thumbs down when she doesn’t like an outfit he picks. She’s so stubborn, but she gets that from him.

“I do it Papa!” She says annoyed now, marching over to him as she picks her up with a laugh, her small hands rooting about until she pulls out a white cable knit jumper with a few frills on the sleeves and a baby pink velvet pinafore to go over it. She smiles up at him as he nods, happy with her choice. ***

“Did good button, need to put some tights on you though, getting a bit nippy out” he says as she nods, walking towards her sock drawer and pulling out some white knitted tights with an smile as Harry gives her a thumbs up, causing her to laugh loudly.

“Why Papa shave?” She asks sitting on the sink, her small outfit on her and her brown boots swinging on her feet as she dangles them off the counter beside the sink watching as Harry applies his shaving foam and wets his razor under the water, he’s still shirtless and only in his joggers as Honey watches on — she loves watching him, when he’s shaving his face or when he’s cooking, even when he does something a small as put her DVD in the player, she’s fascinated by him and Harry thinks it’s because he’s all she has, and he doesn’t mind being the centre of her attention as she is his.

“Papa has hair on his face, sometimes it gets itchy when it lets long. You don’t like it sure you don’t, always complaining it tickles when I kiss ya” he says with a laugh, his hand gliding the razor over his face as he inspects himself in the mirror, trying not to nick himself as Honey watches on curiously.

“Yuck! Hate Papas beard, gross!” She says as Harry looks at her, his face shaven and the foam gone, he picks up his curl cream and scrunches it through his hair a little.

“S’not nice to say gross button, remember? Cant say things are gross” he warns her, her small face falling but nodding as she takes the small scolding from her Papa, he rarely scolds her and when he does, he feels guilty but he knows it’s for her own good. Apart from a few slip ups here and there, she’s the most well mannered toddler ever, everyone that meets her complements Harry on his good parenting which means so much to him due to what he’s been through to get to where he is now.

It’s another few minutes before Harry is fully dressed, a baby blue striped grey suit *** on his body and his usual gucci heeled boots that Honey loves the sound of, she instantly perks up at the sound knowing her Papa is near. She claps when he walks out from the bathroom, it’s her new thing, she claps like he’s putting on a fashion show, causing him to strike a pose which causes her to fall back onto the bed in fits of laughter.

“Alright button, hair time!” He says as she widens her eyes, trying to wriggle off his bed and run away. She hates her hair being combed due to her curls being unruly and always tangled on her head. He grabs her and makes monster noises at her, tickling her belly as she screams out a laugh, nearly falling from his arms as he places her down on the counter by the sink, she spins around and watches herself in the mirror.

“What are we going for today Miss Styles?” He asks her like a professional hair stylist, her smile wide as she grabs a pink hair tie with small butterfly clips also, she shows them to him in the mirror as he smiles, taking her hair brush and de tangling spray. He struggles a little but he gets there in the end, her hair tied up in a pony tail and the small butterfly clips all around her head as she smiles brightly at herself.

“Did good job Papa!” She says clapping her hands, seeing how her Dad is improving, he’s been watching tutorials nightly and even trying some on himself as he gets used to braiding and all that stuff for when she starts asking for more complex styles in her curly hair.

He packs her bag and they’re both out the door quickly, he straps her into her booster seat in his black Range Rover, her legs dangling about as she rings and dances to the song on the radio, Harry keeping his eyes on the road but they flicker to hers in the rear view mirror when she speaks to him. Honey loves school, she loves her teacher and she loves making new friends due to her out going personality that she definitely got from her Mum, she could make friends with a tree if she was near one.

She’s holding his hand as he walks her in the gates, the other kids all lining up on their designated class spot on the ground, a yellow circle painted on the tarmac signalling the younger class. The Mums are all there with their kids, the odd few Dads there also but it’s always the Mums who are smiling and speaking to Harry as they watch their kids walk into their classroom, small hands waving as they excitedly march into the school. He doesn’t stay long after she’s gone in, mainly because the Mums have no filter and would publicly flirt with the single Dad even when they have wedding bands on their fingers.

He brushes off all the women, smiling at them as he runs out the gate, hearing them all whisper amongst themselves as they excitedly look on as he pulls away in his expensive car heading towards his work building. Harry feels empty when Honey is gone, he loves mornings with her, just him and her going about their mornings, making breakfast and cracking up at jokes they tell one another back and forth over banana pancakes every morning, some mornings they have cereal if they wake up late and sometimes if they wake up extra early and can’t go back asleep, they get ready and Harry brings her out for breakfast before dropping her off at school.

It’s the little moments with Honey that Harry cherishes, knowing she won’t be his little love for very long, but doesn’t think about that. He lives in the present with her and he loves how they are now, he loves his little lady with all his heart.

#harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles au #harry styles one shot #harry styles fandom #harry styles blurb #harry styles fluff #singledad!harry #single dad au #fanfic authors #fan fiction #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x reader

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sashi-ya · 2 years

Note

Hi sashi!!!!

I really love your event and all your stories. Thanks for being that awesome!!! You're the best!!

Don't know if I'm doing this right but I need some zosan for Sanji's bday, pleeeeeeease 💚💛💚💛

Hii sweety! Thank u for your sweet words omg!! Of course!! I hope you like it! Enjoy this sweet lovely Zosan fic! 💛💚

🌊 Sanji's Birthday Celebration 🌊

SFW ~ Sanji x Roronoa Zoro ~ The First Time

tw: nothing really. It is placed Pre time-skip!

wc: 2.4K

His blue eyes are always the first ones to see the sun rays. Blue like the ocean, blue like the sky. His steel eyes are always the last to see the moon shine, silver like the blades, silver like the stars that shine on a dark sky.

As always, Sanji, the first one to wake up, runs to the kitchen of the Going Merry Go. He prepares the eggs, the rice, the pancakes, and the tea. “Today is not a different day”, he thinks. “Today it’s just my birthday…”

Sanji’s miraculous hands work hard, and as he stirs the vegetables on the pan, his eyes fix on the clear sky ahead. The sun is still a little lager. It stays on his horizon bed for some time. It’s earlier than ever, but the chef of the Mugiwara no Ichimi felt the need to start earlier today.

The sky, as blue as the sea around him, reminds him of his mum. Sora has always been that clear sky after a storm for Sanji, and he knows she is right there, everywhere, in the seagulls dancing in the distance, on the waves that crash the bow and the wind that moves the sails.

“Should I tell them it is my birthday?” he asks, whispering, waiting for a sign of her mother. A sudden noise distracts him from his personal talk with his mum. “Luffy?” the blonde asks, turning his body around, because he is sure the eating monster is already awake looking for food.

But there is nobody.

“Uh… that’s probably some creaking wood… never mind” he mumbles, continuing with toasting the bread just like Nami likes it.

The next few hours were filled with the devouring monster eating everything at his pace known as Luffy, Usopp fighting over the food with him, Chopper and Robin chatting and having sandwiches and tea, Nami giving orders for the next landing and Zoro eager to finish eating to go back to sleep until lunch.

“Cook-san, sure you don’t need any help with the dishes?” Robin asks politely when Sanji takes the dirty plates off the wooden table. The cook, as the good gentleman, jolts immediately from where he is. “OH, LORD MY DEAR ROBIN-CHWAN, YOUR HANDS ARE NOT MEANT TO BE FOR CLEANING! DON’T WORRY” Sanji chimes, with excessive chivalry, winning a “tsk” from Zoro.

Those annoyed looks, and those commentaries the swordsman does that Sanji hates the most. “Oi, marimo. Why don’t you do anything, then? HUH?” the blond shouts, pointing at him with a fork. “Don’t point at me with that fork, you curly” Zoro fires back, standing up and taking his plate to the kitchen under the thunderstruck sight of Sanji.

He follows him back, spitting insults and not letting him touch anything in his kitchen. But Zoro plain ignores him, with that characteristic samurai calm he has. The calloused hands of the swordsman begin to scrub the crumbles off the plates, even with Sanji shouting at him.

“Oi Marimo!! What are you doing?” he shouts. “M’doing the dishes” Zoro answers, paused. “I know, but why?”

“Cause you made breakfast today”

Sanji looked at him confused, he always cooks breakfast, lunch, dinner, etc for them. He is the cook! The question was why would Zoro want to help him now? In any case, Sanji decides to remain silent, because Zoro won’t go away, but most importantly he isn’t fighting back

The blonde notices how the rest of the crew leaves the kitchen, ready for the landing on the upcoming island. Sanji hurries Zoro to move out of the kitchen, he needs to start preparing the bento boxes for everyone. “Come on, damn marimo move out, I have to prepare lunch” he grunts, pushing his muscular friend out of the kitchen.

“Fine… but you shouldn’t work that much” Zoro says, giving the sweetest smile he could have ever given to him. Sanji’s cheeks blush, not sure why… And instead of reacting he simply stays there, immobile, watching Zoro’s back disappear from the kitchen into the deck.

Sanji would normally bark at him, even insult him… but right now he isn't able to do so, he feels confused. Zoro never does the dishes with him, he doesn’t even care. But today, during his birthday, he did. “Is this a sign to tell them, mum? What do you think about that mosshead? Isn’t he an idiot? Everything with him has to do with number three… his earrings, his santoryuu style. It’s funny how I’m called “San-ji” but he hates me… huh?...

Every lunch box is ready and packed up. Luffy is already trying to reach for his bag, but Sanji scolds him enough not to touch it yet.

The pirates have decided to take their paths, the girls and Chopper are going to enjoy the stores at the island, while Luffy and Usopp are going to see if they can find bugs. As for Zoro, well, he never has a plan besides going for a drink or resting at the ship. However, he does have a job from time to time, and it is with Sanji. Whenever it is about to restock the pantry with groceries, the wings of Luffy always go together to do so. And it's strange because they fight, but they enjoy it.

Sanji knows he has enough food until the next island… but he lies… perhaps he wants to be accompanied during this day, or maybe it's just curiosity; Sanji needed to know why Zoro was acting differently today. "I need help for the groceries, marimo" he barks, for some reason he gets nervous whenever he has to talk to Zoro and that's why most of the time, he speaks violently towards him.

Zoro looks at him, fixing his haramaki and swords and answers quickly. "OK. Let's go". Sanji had prepared an insult since he was sure he would complain, but the swordsman didn’t. The cook stays silent and only walks off the ship for him to follow. Yet his mind is troubled, really troubled.

They walk towards the busy streets of that autumn island; Sanji’s hair blows with the soft cold breeze while he keeps an eye on Zoro so as not to lose him. It’s easy for the swordsman to get stray, even if he has to follow his blonde friend.

None of them talk, even if normally they would probably fight all the way along, today Sanji is out of words. He notices Zoro analysing the streets, always with his right hand over the hilt of Wado Ichimonji. The cook is desperately searching for any topic to discuss -talk- to him, his samurai calm, his silence is killing him.

“Oi, marimo. Is there anything I should be worried about? Why do you have your right hand over your sword?” he asks, rather violently. “Huh? Oh no. You actually noticed? That's really good of you, cook! See, when I carry my swords on my left side it is because I’m relaxed, and there aren't any signs of danger. But when I do have them on my right side, and my left hand rests on them is because there is a probable threat” he explains to him, for the first time since they met a few months ago Sanji felt like he was learning something else from him.

“That means you are left-handed?” Sanji processes the information and gets interested in him. “Right, so even if I use three swords, my dominant hand is actually my left one. The right position of your blades indicates the disposition of the swordsman”.

“Oh, so you are relaxed now?” the blonde asks, noticing now the little details that compose Zoro’s hand. Big, veiny, a little bit more tanned than the rest of his body. He has a rather little wrist, and a little cut there that makes Sanji wonder how he got it. He also gets fixed on the way his belly goes calmly up and down as he breathes, and the way his haramaki warms it around that same white shirt he is sure Zoro never cleans.

Zoro clears his throat, because Sanji is actually not walking nor talking, he is just stunned looking at the testosterone filled anatomy of his body. “So, what's the next stop?” the green haired nakama asks, to conceal both reddish cheeks. Inexperienced young boys, only nineteen years old, maybe discovering what mutual attraction is?

Sanji hides under his bangs, widening his only visible deep blue eye, fixing it on the leather pointy shoes he wears. “Uh… I need species'' he mumbles and looks further. “Come on, Marimo. Or you will get lost”.

They didn’t speak much after that encounter, Sanji was too nervous and Zoro, who seems like a careless idiot was indeed sunk into his own thoughts about if the cook’s hidden eye was just as beautiful as the one, he shows.

The sun slowly falls into the horizon, the seagulls in the distance give their last flights before hiding in their nests until the next day, and the cold shine of a half-moon takes over. It’s time to reunite with the whole crew, and even if Zoro and Sanji’s cheeks are still a little hot, they act out as if nothing has been happening… though, every time both had to talk during their shopping spree, they would stutter and sweat. Something felt a little different from then on…

But Zoro, Zoro knows something Sanji doesn't. And while they approach their ship, and both notice little fairy lights decorating the deck, a smile forms on Zoro’s face, while Sanji’s eyebrows twitch…

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY SANJI!!!” every member of the still new crew of the Strawhats shouts, scaring Sanji to the verge of tears. His barely covered in facial hair chin trembles, and his eyes get watery. He looks at Zoro, confused, but soon melting because of his beautiful smile was all for him.

He is soon attacked by Luffy and his gum gum hugs, pulling him into the middle of the deck. Chopper crawls over his shoulder and rests his fluffy body over his head. Nami and Robin have managed to create delicious food that made his gentleman heart hurt, while Usopp uses a tone dial to play music as a musician is still needed on the ship.

The party went on, and on until late hours under the moonshine. A silver light that Sanji would always associate with Zoro's eyes for some reason…

“Nami-swan, how did you know it was my birthday?” Sanji asks, preparing more food for Luffy since of course he ate it all. “Well… let’s say someone told us” she says, winking and looking outside towards where Zoro is, resting his belly on the railing, allowing the moonshine to bathe him with its icy mantle.

“M-marimo?” Sanji stutters, feeling the tip of his ears turn on fire. “Uhum, you should thank him. He told everyone he heard you speaking and said it was your birthday. Sanji-kun, you shouldn’t hide that from us! We love you!” the tangerine haired navigator tells Sanji, making a little drop of blood fall from his nose.

She leaves, gracefully and laughing… because she knew deep inside Sanji wasn’t bleeding for her…

The cook finished the whole new plate of meat Luffy asked and blew some candles on a weird looking cake Usopp and Chopper baked. After the kitchen was successfully cleaned and every nakama went to bed, Sanji noticed Zoro was still over the deck…

“So, it was you” he mumbles, to a drinking sake Zoro resting as always with his back over the wooden wall of the main cabin. “Yep…” the swordsman whispers, focusing his sight on the contents of his cup.

Sanji sits next to him, and sighs. “Thanks, marimo… it’s the first time someone throws a surprise party for me”. Zoro turns to him, painful lips so close yet so far. “It’s nothing, but don’t do the same for me, ok?” he says, because even if the samurai loves the taste of good party food and booze, he feels a little off when it comes to parties. “Fine…” Sanji chuckles, patting Zoro’s knee. “But at least I’m gonna be sure the pantry is full of that ethylic venom you put into your body…” he says and stands up.

“S-Sanji?”

The cook walks a few steps from Zoro but freezes still when the swordsman decides to call him by his name. Zoro’s speech was low enough only for the blonde to hear it, but full of anxiety and feelings.

Sanji felt his skin become bumpy, for some reason hearing him calling him by his name had a bigger impact on him than he would have expected. “Yes, Zo… Marimo?”

“Can you stay?”

“Sure…” Sanji says, sitting back next to him. He lights a cigarette while both remain in silence, the little fairy warm lights were already turned off, and the only source of light comes from the cook’s cigarette cherry and the moonshine above them on a beautiful night sky.

Sometimes words aren’t necessary, because Sanji felt the need to rest his head over Zoro’s wide shoulder and so he did. “Uh…” Zoro mumbles to such a weird, unexpected movement. “Marimo… what you did is by far the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me since I joined the crew… and even in my whole life” Sanji confesses.

Zoro is out of words; he passes his arm around Sanji’s tiny waist to bring him closer… an impulse he can’t stop. The blonde doesn’t fight back, what’s more, he takes his legs closer to his belly making himself little, really little under Zoro’s embrace.

“This is the very first time in years I want to celebrate my birthday, you know? The day I was born…” Sanji whispers, a little tear running through his eyes. A tear wiped by Zoro’s calloused thumb, who notices how painfully it is for the blond to talk about this.

“Sanji… don’t cry, please. Your blue eyes are beautiful when you smile” Zoro whispers back, kissing the crown of the blonde’s head.

“Thank you, thank you so much, Marimo…” Sanji says, cuddling closer to his chest, wetting Zoro’s white shirt with a different type of tears now… Tears of joy, tears of relief… Tears of finding that place to finally rest, safe, warm, secure… loved ❤ ~

#zosan #zosan fic #zoro x sanji #sanji x zoro #zoro roronoa #sanji vinsmoke #vinsmoke sanji #happy birthday curly #happy birthday ero cook #happy birthday sanji #sanji #sanji black leg #black leg sanji #roronoa zoro #roronoa zoro imagine #zosan imagine #one piece zosan #zosan fanfic #sashi ya

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ladyvesuvia · 3 years

Text

Moniker Origin

PAIRING: Sirius Black x Fem!Gryffindor!Reader

SUMMARY: Befriending a stray dog not only leads to a routine rendezvous every midnight but also the story of how Sirius got one of his many names.

WORDS: 5.5k

WARNING(S): Just fluff but involves cursing, name-calling, nicknames, mentions of celebrities/characters from the 70s, mentions of eating and food. || SECOND PERSON

A/N: can u tell this is kind of an indirect prequel to i’m a dreamer hsjsiw anyway i hope u like it!!! for @meiitanoia my beloved sirius black lovebot <3

[NAVIGATION] [MASTERLIST]

You woke up with a start. The curtains to your four-poster bed danced gently, as if attempting to put you into a trance. It worked: You watched it, transfixed more than ever until you slowly gained proper consciousness, or at least enough to let you yawn.

You reached out to push the curtains a bit to find that it was still night-time. You could hear light snores coming from your roommates, but you ignored it in desperate hopes of falling asleep again. You couldn’t; not that you didn’t want to, because you really did. The reason for your tossing and turning at this late hour was most likely because you slept around six p.m., an unideal hour for sleep on a weekday. You’d passed on dinner, and told yourself you’d just take breakfast early in the morning.

Giving up, you threw out your feet off the bed, feeling the cold surface of the floor. The clock told you it was half past eleven as it kept ticking and ticking and ticking.

Before you knew it, you were trudging down the deserted halls of Hogwarts, half-melted dark chocolate in one hand and your lightened wand in the other. You bought it from Honeydukes just last weekend on your visit to Hogsmeade. You didn’t know where you were going, but you just wanted to be somewhere else, maybe even do something exciting.

For cautionary measures, you looked in every direction every time you reached a turn in fear of getting caught by any roaming person of authority. Peeves would probably make a sound that’ll draw Mr. Filch’s attention; Mrs. Norris could appear, and that in itself is bad news already; Mr. Filch himself could catch you and start throwing insane threats; or maybe someone from the faculty could catch you and put you in detention, and you knew full well you did not want to spend time doing an absurd task.

When you managed to slip out unnoticed, you walked over to the bank of the lake, the rocks crunching under your feet. It was probably one of the things you find in horror movies when all is still, all is sleeping, and the monster is yet to come—

Your pulse skipped a beat when the sight of something running away from the forest shuffled past. You realized it was just a dog, but it gave you a shock nonetheless. Just a dog, you thought. Just a dog.

You pulled out the chocolate from your pocket, unwrapping it carelessly. It wasn’t until you took your first bite did you realize the dog was right behind you, watching you with curious eyes.

“I’d give you some but dogs aren’t allowed to eat chocolate,” you said to the dog, who then whined in response as it sat down. “I really can’t, I’m sorry.”

One might think a big black dog sneaking up on you in the middle of a night would cause a fright, but it was strangely more comforting than eerie. After all, it was just a dog.

Just looking at the creature reminded you of Snuffles, your very own dog who died while you were away from home and sitting in History of Magic, unaware your best bud had passed. You looked down hopefully at the dog in front of you.

“Snuffles?” you inquired hesitantly, reaching out your hand. Please don’t bite, you chanted more to yourself than to the dog. To your relief, it approached you gingerly and let you pet its head. “Is it you?”

Highly unlikely, you knew that, but it wouldn’t hurt to hope that it was, right? You’d spent your entire childhood with that dog: Sleeping together under a poorly done fort until daybreak; getting lost in the neighborhood together, earning disapproving opinions from the neighbors; and most of all, countless birthdays.

Well, just to name a few.

Maybe it was the moonlight reflecting off of the lake’s waters, but you could’ve sworn you saw the dog wink. You took your hand back to rub your eyes before studying the dog. “Are you Hagrid’s?”

The dog simply sat there, looking at you curiously. “Right, like a dog’s gonna talk back to me.” You chuckled, laughing at yourself. “Come, I’ll bring you back to him.”

It didn’t move. “Look, I can’t give you chocolate. Maybe I can sneak you some steak or something next time if you’re still here. I’d give you dog food but they don’t have that around here. But I reckon Hagrid has some, though. Do you want me to get you food?”

Once again, maybe (just maybe) it was only your imagination, but you got the sense that the dog disagreed. You didn’t push it any further and so you simply made yourself comfortable even under the rocks. You set down your cloak under your bottom to serve as a mat. It didn’t do much, but it was better. You gestured for the dog to come closer.

“I’m gonna call you Snuffles now,” you said as you picked up a stone. “Watch this.” With a swing of your arm, you sent the stone flying into the lake, skipping three times. “I used to be able to do four. You’d know, you were there!”

Snuffles your dog from years ago indeed was there with you when it happened on your family trip to your lake house, but this was not Snuffles; this was your very own classmate and Housemate, Sirius Black himself. He’d never talked to you before, much less noticed you, so it was a surprise to him that he’s spending his time with you at this late hour.

Nevertheless, it was a time well-spent even when it was mostly (entirely) just watching you skip rocks down the lake as you talked about the aforementioned Snuffles. He didn’t know how long you two sat there, but sat you did anyway. Twice he thought of a joke to tell only to be disappointed for of course, he couldn’t voice it out.

“I named her Snuffles because she used to cry a lot when we first brought her home from the shelter and mum didn’t want us to call her Sniffles so I went with the next best thing.” You put your legs in front of you. “Poor little thing.”

It wasn’t until the sky brightened a bit did you realize you were thirsty from all the talking you were doing. You would've stayed for the sunrise but, well, schedules would tragically overlap.

“Crap,” you thought as you began picking up your cloak, “I’ll end up dozing off in class! Anyway, I’ll try and bring you steak later, Snuffy.”

With a wave, you ran away from the lake, cloak in your arms, unaware that you had left your wand behind. Sirius was watching you until you disappeared from sight before he spotted the wand, which he then picked up.

He de-transformed on his way just a bit by a wall, and as soon as he did, he tucked your wand into his own cloak. He glanced back just for a second before running back to the castle. By the time he got to the painting of the Fat Lady, he halted at the sight of the girl from earlier — you.

“—you know me already, ma’am. I just forgot the password is all. Please let me in.”

“No password, no entry,” spat the Fat Lady. “And it does not do to wake up a sleeping person.”

“Well, you’re just a painting,” you mumbled. And if Sirius could hear it from where he was standing, the Fat Lady probably heard it too.

“Hmph!” exclaimed the Fat Lady. “Children are foul.”

“They are, aren’t they?” you chimed in hopes of getting on the Fat Lady’s better graces.

“I was talking about you, child,” said the Fat Lady with disdain. “Now scoot!”

You were about to walk away when Sirius decided to walk in. You froze.

It was only until then did it dawn on Sirius that he did not know your name because you had not told him anything earlier. He turned to the Fat Lady.

“Spondulicks,” said Sirius. The Fat Lady merely grunted as the painting swung open to reveal the room. “After you, m’lady.”

It was like he was seeing a different person; you refused to meet his eyes as you hurriedly walked into the opening of the painting, arms crossed. He was almost about to give you your wand but realized what a bad idea that would be, and so he kept his mouth shut.

You kept walking straight ahead, and Sirius had to stifle his laugh at the sight of you missing a step on the stairs to the girls’ dormitory, especially when your pace quickened after this.

That morning at breakfast, you were nowhere to be found. Sirius took his seat next to James while skimming the length of the Gryffindor table.

“What’re you looking for?” asked James, curiously scanning the table as well.

“This girl with [Y/H/C] hair,” Sirius replied absentmindedly as he slowly settled down, still looking for her.

“A girl? You’re gonna have to be more specific, mate. But bagsy snogging her.”

“What — you can’t bagsy her, you haven’t even met her,” spat Sirius. James was rather taken aback but still seemed to be stifling his laugh at the outburst nonetheless. Sirius cleared his throat. “And need I remind you that you’re trying to get Evans?”

“Mhm, I was just trying to see how interested you were in this girl to be preoccupied with looking for her instead of petting your hair.” More and more people began to file in to the common room and Sirius’s attention went to the door after determining you were not seated in one of the tables.

“It’s called combing, and you should try it.” Sirius ran his hand through his hair. “It would do you good to look fresh at least once.”

James snickered. “What can I tell you, Pads? The ladies like the rugged look.”

“I don’t think they do,” remarked Remus.

“Oh trust me, Remus,” James started with a smug grin. “They do. The key to it is—”

But Sirius never found out what ‘the key to it’ was; at least, not today. After a group of younger Ravenclaws walked in, he finally spotted you right behind them and his back straightened even more. For what, he did not know.

You took your seat beside a couple more Gryffindors and helped yourself to food on your own plate. You were busy rubbing her eyes, giving Sirius more time to watch. When you finished, you caught him looking at you, but he didn’t break the eye contact; instead, he smiled.

“Oh, her?” exclaimed James, trying to get a better look. Sirius gently kicked his foot at how obvious he was, but he nodded in confirmation. James blew a raspberry. “I can’t bagsy, can I?”

Sirius scowled. “No.”

“Then I call dibs.”

“Wha — that’s the same thing! You can’t just call dibs.” Sirius cleared his throat once more, for James was raising a brow to signify he’d proved his point. “You can’t.”

“Wouldn’t hurt you to go on over and talk to her, would it? After all, you do it all the time.” James stretched out his arms and made gestures of triumph. “Hook, sink, liner.”

“It’s actually ‘Hook, line, and sinker,’” said Remus.

“No it’s not. Get a load of this guy,” James joked (or not). “Anyway, come on, I’ll come with you. But I apologize in advance if my hair works better than yours.”

When they made it over to where you were sitting, you appeared to be manually wiping your plate with a tissue.

“Excuse me,” started Sirius, gesturing at the plate, “May I?”

Hesitantly and still not meeting his gaze, you handed him the plate. Sirius pulled out his wand and with a small flick, he said, “Tergeo!”

When he handed it back, you simply nodded your head in thanks and began to stuff it in your bag.

“Wait, are you stealing a plate?” James asked with a grin, on the verge of laughing. “You wouldn’t want to do that. See, our friend’s a Prefect and he’ll totally tell Professor Meownerva — pun courtesy of Peter, by the way.” James snickered. “I wish I’d thought of it first be—Ow!”

Sirius had stepped on James foot. “I’ll take it from here, Bambi.”

James managed a scowl before leaving the scene. You didn’t know what to do; so in your mind, you started devising ways to get yourself out of that situation: Make a run for it or melt on the spot; neither seemed like a good option.

“Why are you stealing a plate?” he asked.

“Er — long story. Have a good day.” Then you stood up and began to walk away, backing up a bit to grab a piece of sandwich before completely storming off.

When Sirius returned the other three were there, laughing out loud together.

James leaned closer. “Her name’s [Y/N].”

“Then why didn’t you tell me?” exclaimed Sirius, annoyed.

“Hook, sink, liner,” said James confidently.

Remus cleared his throat again. “Again, it’s ‘Hook, line, and’—”

“Yeah, sure, whatever,” dismissed James.

▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰

On your first class (Transfiguration), the two of you clearly could not at all suppress your yawns: Sirius was doing fairly better compared to you, for he had the decency to not let his head plop face down on his desk, but he was sleepy nonetheless. This was no surprise to Sirius. After all, he hadn’t slept that morning. As for you, he did not know whether or not you slept but according to your peaceful and sleeping face, he kind of had a clue.

He wasn’t listening, and so when everyone brought out their wands, he just cluelessly followed the others. Professor McGonagall approached the middle row and stopped just right next to you.

“Miss [Y/L/N]?” started McGonagall. “If I’m not mistaken, bedtime ended hours ago.”

You merely grunted. McGonagall cleared her throat. “Excuse me, Miss [Y/L/N]?”

The professor put the back of her palm against your forehead. She lifted your face off the table and her eyes widened. “Heavens! Child, you look positively ghastly. Remus, kindly take—”

“I’ll do it,” said Sirius. “I’m her. . .” As he trailed off, all eyes went back and forth from you, McGonagall, and him. He opened his mouth again to add, “friend. We’re friends.”

Although McGonagall appeared to be reluctant, she let you go, advising you to visit Madam Pomfrey. Sirius risked a smug look in James’s way before following you out the door, eager to speak with you.

“So you’re feeling unwell?” asked Sirius.

“Look, buddy, I appreciate it but I honestly just want to go to bed.”

“Didn’t Minnie McG tell you to visit Madam Pomfrey?”

You halted. “I’m not sick.”

“What do you mean? What about the drowsy eyes and the head hurting and the red nose—?”

“Okay, now you’re making my head hurt.” You faced him, hands on your hips in defiance. “Here’s what’s gonna happen, Black: I’ll go back to my room and you’ll take a walk to the Hospital Wing and back to class.”

“But you’re sick.”

“Buddy, I’m really not,” you said with an irritated laugh. “I haven’t slept yet and I lost my wand. How do you think I’ll be able to go to class without a damn wand?”

Sirius scoffed. “Then what about your runny red nose and teary eyes?”

“Really? Are purebloods really that dense not to come up with basic ways to get out of class?” It was almost ironic. After all, you’d heard tons of brilliant things pureblooded wizards could do. Clearly they weren’t as crafty. You snorted. “Do you really want to know?”

“Do I? Of course I do.”

And with a bit of consideration, you recounted your gimmicks: collecting two chili peppers from the table and lightly patting your finger under your eyes to make it teary (it badly hurt), pinching your nose as soon as you left the Great Hall and sprinkling a bit of pepper on your sleeve to get yourself to sneeze, taking a quick hot shower without getting your hair wet, and more.

“Wow,” he exclaimed under his breath, astonished. You shrugged in response, turning around to walk away. “Wait, then why did you agree for me to take you instead of Remus?”

“Eh, well, your friend who’s trying so hard to be Michael Landon said that the Remus guy was a Prefect so I figured that he’s probably a snitch.”

“Trust me, he’s not a snitch,” Sirius said with a laugh. “Wait, I don’t even know who Michael Landon is but could you say that thing again but to James’s face tomorrow morning at breakfast?”

“No.” You turned your back on him, walking away. “May we never talk again.”

“You’re welcome, by the way!” He watched as you made a turn, disappearing from view before making a face. “Ungrateful chick.”

That entire day, you spent your time in bed, tossing and turning to keep yourself awake. Whenever someone came in during vacant time, you made sure the curtains to your four-poster bed were sealed shut while pretending to sniffle.

It was Friday, so you were thankful for the time to rest. You were thinking of just looking for your wand tomorrow when you remembered the dog. You shifted in your bed as you slowly stood up, peeking through the curtains of your bed. Your roommates were probably still in the common room, so you peeked your head out to grab your bag from beside your bed and pulled it in before shutting the curtains close.

You pulled out the plate you got from earlier that morning and waited.

Waited for your roommates to come in and chat for a while.

Waited until the lights went out.

Waited until the only sound you could hear was the ticking of the clock in the room.

You were about to fall asleep when what you could only assume was a bird hit itself against the window, jolting you awake.

It was dead silent. And just like you did hours ago, you threw your feet out of your bed. Going out at this hour without a wand felt threatening, but you reassured yourself, just thinking over and over that it would be just like old times back when you didn’t know you were a witch.

There was no one in the common room by the time you got down there. You tightened your grip on the plate in your hands, thinking about how good a weapon it would make (it probably wasn’t, but it was good enough to make you feel like you had a chance).

You slipped out, unaware once more of the same boy you had talked to the night before following you.

The walk down the halls and stairs without a light made your tour all the more frightening: Jumping when you accidentally graze your hand too much on one of the paintings which often earned an angry grunt from them, feeling for the next step of the stairs in fear of tripping over, and so on.

Sirius resisted the urge to just approach you and give you your wand, resorting to just staying behind to make sure you got out safely. He was about to keep going straight ahead when you made a turn, confusing him.

It took a few more turns for him to realize you were headed for the kitchens. He had to wait outside until you came back out a short while later with something in the plate.

Laughing silently to himself, he followed you again to the grounds, your wand in his cloak pocket, feeling like a hundred pounds weighing him down.

You went back to where you were last night, scouring the rocks in hopes of spotting a distinct shape among the round shapes. You cursed under your breath in disappointment as you set the plate of steak aside, your eyes falling to the dark surface of the lake. Gulping, you tied up the pant legs of your pajamas, mumbling inaudible words to yourself at what you were about to do.

Only your feet were in the water when you heard a loud bark, causing you to jump a bit, toppling backward at the sight of the black dog. You felt the water soak your back and a bit of your head.

“Snuffles?” you asked the dog whilst shaking yourself dry as you stood up. “There’s steak over there. It’s for you.”

If it weren’t for his physical state, Sirius would be laughing right now. The least he could do was walk your way, sitting right beside the plate of the steak.

“I know it’s not as good as I promised but it’s the best I could give, I’m sorry,” you said to the dog as it looked at you curiously. You bent down to pick up your cloak, drying yourself and wrapping it around you. With a huff, you squeezed the water out of your hair and sat down on the rocks once again. “I only came down here to look for my wand. It probably rolled down to the bottom of the lake already.”

You yawned. The lack of sleep was already taking a toll on you and you couldn’t let the sun rise before you could lie down in bed.

“Do you not like the steak?” you asked again. “You know, I got that plate for you.”

The dog’s ears perked up, and you reached out to pet it.

“Thank Merlin I got away from that fruitcake.”

▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰

“I’m a fruitcake,” Sirius told his friends that morning as they fell in line for their Hogsmeade trip. James looked at his friend as if he had gone mad (well, one can say he’s halfway there). “Out of all the things I could be, I’m a fruitcake.”

“Took you long enough to figure that out,” said Peter, who then brightened when James burst into a laugh.

“You sure?” said Remus, adjusting his tie. “If you are, then you’re far too salty to be one.”

“Guys, I’m ser—” He cut himself off, aware that they were waiting for an opening to pick fun at his name. “I am not joking.”

“Because you’re. . .?” James said, encouraging him.

Sirius let out an exasperated sigh. “Serious.”

And just like that, the entire group howled in laughter. Rolling his eyes, Sirius scanned the crowd again, but it was the same thing as yesterday — you were once again nowhere to be found.

“Wait, where did you get this fruitcake comment from?” asked Remus.

Sirius recounted your past encounters with him, earning a whoop of cheer and a pat from James.

“I have a plan,” said Sirius. “I’ll just so happen to ‘run into’ her in Hogsmeade and she’ll think I’m charming because I did my hair better today.”

“I don't know, I reckon it’ll be hard to jump from fruitcake puppy to charming knight and shining armor,” said Remus.

It wasn't until they were near the front of the line did Sirius realize there was still no sign of you. He then stepped out of the line, earning sudden protests from the rest of the group.

He made a show of waving at the other three as he disappeared from view before darting down the halls and up the stairs until he made it to the common room, where he plopped down on the couch. A couple of first and second years were gathered by the window playing chess.

Sirius kept his head down as he waited for you to come out until finally, about almost ten minutes later, heavy steps came from the girls’ dormitory as it descended down the stairs. Sirius kept his face down so as to hide himself for you, cursing at himself for being too. . .what’s a nicer way to put creepy again?

He followed you again like the night before, going over the things he wanted to say.

Hello, I’m actually Snuffles.

I’m Snuffles.

Hi, I’m not really a reincarnation of your dog because I’m actually a fruitcake!

It just kept getting worse in his head the more that he dwelled on it, and so he resorted to just focusing on his step when you halted, causing him to run into you.

“You,” you started, stopping with your finger pointed right at him, daring him to speak, “why are you following me?”

“Because. . .” Sirius trailed off. Why was he following you?

Because I'm Snuffles and I have your wand. Because I can turn into a dog. Because while I am Snuffles, I'm also not really Snuffles. Because—

“Because I found your wand,” he blurted out. “Well, consider it as a token of appreciation.”

“For what?”

“For being a good friend. . . ?”

“As far as I know, the first and only time we ever even talked was just yesterday,” you said, gesturing with your hands. “What’s your deal?”

“I want to take a walk,” Sirius relaxed, grinning at you.

“Then do it yourself!” you exclaimed.

“With you, I mean.”

Sirius’s tone calmed you down at least a bit, and so you cleared your throat. Come to think of it, he’s probably not that bad.

You began to walk with him on your way out to the grounds. “And what do I get out of this walking thing of yours?”

Sirius waved his hand with a flourish as we jogged ahead to stop right in front of you, tipping an imaginary hat. “Bragging rights, madam.”

You halted. “You’re gonna have to try better than that, Vinnie Barbarino.”

“Er — that’s good, right?” he asked, tensing up again as he composed himself.

“Depends on how you look at it.”

“Well, does he have nice hair?”

“Again, depends on how you look at it.”

“I don’t have a good feeling about this.”

“You and me both, Vinnie,” you told him with a huff as you two set foot outside.

“It’s certainly better than fruitcake,” he muttered under his breath. You leaned in closer, your brow raised in question. He shook his head and told you it was nothing.

By the time you made it to the bank of the lake, you found yourself unconsciously searching the rocks for your wand.

Sirius snorted. “You can keep looking but it’s not there.”

“Wasn’t trying to.”

He watched as you bent down to pick up a rock and moved closer to the lake. Just like you did a few nights ago, you swung your arm to skip a rock. It was kind of like a movie for him; the way your shoulders sunk a bit after getting only three skips. “I used to be able to do four.”

I’d know, Sirius thought as he grinned at the irony. I was there. Maybe I really am Snuffles.

“So, when are you going to give me my wand?” You turned around to face him again, dusting your hands as you did so.

Sirius wanted to tell you about his alter-ego badly. But at the same time, it was right there and then Sirius realized something. He normally hated the idea of a routine; loathed it, even. But he figured that maybe, just this once, he could make an exception. He didn’t mind going out every single night as Padfoot or Snuffles if it meant the world to you to have something to look forward to. In fact, the line was starting to blur between all his names: Sirius Black, Onion, Padfoot, Snuffles, Fruitcake.

Sirius cleared his throat and told you, “Monday morning when you have breakfast with me.”

“I’m not gonna have breakfast with you.”

“You are now because you’ll get a coupon.”

“What coupon?” you asked, crossing your arms.

“Bragging rights for spending time with me — Sirius Orion Black.”

“You’re awfully presumptuous.”

“Why are you so mean?” Sirius feigned pain by clutching his chest, making a show.

You bit your cheek in attempt not to laugh. “Look, just give me back my wand.”

“Give me your word that you’ll have breakfast with me first.”

“Fine,” you told him. “Now will you give me my wand back?”

Sirius let out a long sigh before taking a step forward and bending down to pick up a rock. He swung his arm backward as he made a shot.

One, two, three, four.

He faced you. “Hook, sink, liner.”

“It’s ‘hook, line, and sinker,’ how could you mess that up?”

“Damn it, James,” he cursed under his breath. “Anyway, here’s your wand.”

This definitely took you by surprise, especially when he pulled it out of his coat pocket and handed it to you with only a friendly smile and without any hesitation.

You grabbed it as fast as you could just in case he changed his mind at the last minute.

Sirius fought the urge to pick fun at the fact that this was close to what one may call fetch.

Wow, he thought. Merlin, I’m literally Snuffles. Sirius could hear his friends’ jeers light years away: Playing fetch with her, Snuffy? Will you also let her walk you? Oh, wait, you already did!

“Thank you,” you told him. “I was literally prepared to dive down there just to get my wand. I know what a big hassle it is to get it replaced and everything.”

“I know,” he said, pertaining to how he knew the lengths you were ready to go to just so you could find your wand, but you took what he said an answer to what you said last.

Sirius began walking again, and you followed. “Why didn’t you go to Hogsmeade with the others?”

“Eh, I’ve been there a lot of times. We’ll go there next time. I’ll take you to—”

You halted. “Woah, woah, who said I’ll be coming with you?”

“Time,” Sirius protested. “It tells you things even you wouldn’t be able to know.”

You scoffed as you kept walking alongside him. “Eh, well, we got Professor Trelawney for that. What do you say we visit her classroom and play with balls? I mean, orbs. No, stop laughing.”

But he didn’t stop. And honestly, neither did you; not even when you completed a turn around the grounds.

That night was a brilliant one: You were headed back downstairs, this time keeping your wand tight in your hand as you did so.

Just like as far as always can go, Snuffles sat by the lake, looking at the ripples that danced along its surface. Why did the dog suddenly look familiar?

You stood right next to Snuffles, who was now looking up at you curiously.

“I can’t stay for long,” you told the dog. “I have to sleep early, you know. I mean, you don’t, but — whatever.”

You bent down to pick up a rock again, watching it skip three times. You cursed under your breath, “How’d he do it?”

Snuffles, originally Sirius himself, snorted. You turned to the dog and shook your head, telling yourself it was your want of sleep playing tricks on you.

“Fruitcake’s actually not that bad,” you started as you picked up another rock. Sirius looked up again. “I think I’ll give him a chance.”

When you finally gave up on skipping rocks, you sat down right next to the dog. “He kinda left a ring of his, see?” You showed the dog Sirius’s ring. The dog blinked. “I’m not planning on keeping it, I’ll give it back to him on a good day.”

A bird flew by, causing you to jump a bit. “Yep, I’m gonna need to sleep this out. Go to Hagrid’s will you? Actually, no, come with me.”

You lead the dog to Hagrid’s hut and told it to stay there. Sirius thought it was funny seeing you boss him around in a gentler manner.

With a wave, you ran back to the doors and dashed up the stairs until you reached the dormitories, where you hastily got in your bed and tucked yourself in.

When breakfast came and you casually sat down right across from Sirius and beside James, a thought came to Sirius’s head again: He wanted you to know him as Sirius Black, no disguises involved. Sure, maybe he’d learn more of you if he continued doing it but . . . he wanted you to learn more of himself, too.

As for telling you his secret identity (not Batman), he decided that it’d be best to let his future self deal with it and just enjoy breakfast with you, which is hopefully just the first of many.

One last thing, though: Snuffles grew on Sirius. Safe to say that he got attached; so much that even when time told new people new fates, he found a way to let the name stay by using it as a safe codename as an attempt to become a lovable stray in the time of danger.

But that doesn’t matter just yet, not when the group was busy having one of the most brilliant Mondays to date.

Taglist: @gingerale2017 @sfdlm @maybanksslut @hey-there-angels @elevatorsdoor @mrzweasley @gwlvr @1-800-itsfreerealestate @marrymetheonott @booksarealwaysbettersworlds-blog @sexysirius @turn-to-page-394-please @greenlyblue @henqtic @badass-yn @meiitanoia @gaycatlord-stuff @just2bubbly @awakendevildays @dracomalfoyposts @crazy-beautiful @adoreyou976 @catching-the-train-to-hogwarts

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ilove-cedricdiggory · 3 years

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I love you, mum

Remus Lupin x Reader

Requested - Noppe

Summary - Remus Lupin was the love of your life, right? You thought so, that was, until he came home from an order mission finding you pregnant and hating it with his entire being. Can you handle that?

Trigger Warning - cursing, mentions of abortion, mentions of pregnancy, rude as hell Remus.

This one is kinda lengthy, so, fairwarning. I'ma make it a series, so, Part 1!

There he stood, right before you, his bag packed as your eyes watered. "I know 'm love, but you know how the order is. I don't get to pick when I go." He took you into his arms, his hand immediately running through your hair.

You both were 24 now, honestly surprised with the way time had flown by even with the pending war surrounding you. He, James, and Sirius were going to investigate a lead, one that involved the fourth member of their family from Hogwarts, Peter.

The night Peter was trusted with James, Lily, and Harry's lives, Voldemort had shown up, prepared to murder them in cold blood. The only thing stopping him that night was that you, Remus, and Sirius paid a surprise visit to your favorite new family, wanting Harry to experience a Halloween as normal as you all could make it.

Harry had been zooming through on his broom in his Kinmare Kestrels costume, the five of you cheering him on as if he was in the middle of a quidditch game himself. Voldemort had made himself known quite quickly, assuming the three of them were on their own, but was met with a small army, prepared to protect your family.

Now, Remus was leaving to go find Peter, along with looking into how deep his dedicated now lied with the monster attempting to rule your world.

"I'm going to be back before you know it. I'll be nice and safe, and I'll be home after this months turn, so we won't even have to worry about that when I come home." You nodded, but teared up at that.

"But, who'll patch you up and kiss all your bruises?" You asked softly, pushing back some of his hair to gaze into his eyes. "'M sure James and Sirius will be more than happy to help me out like they used to, although I don't think either will kiss the bruises - not that I'd want them to." He grimaced at the thought of one of his two best friends kissing each healing wound on his skin after a horrible night of turning.

"Just, come back safe, okay? Don't do anything stupid, don't let Sirius talk you into doing something irrational, don't let James cry too much about Lily and Harry either, please. I can't even imagine how they're doing. Just come back safe to me." You kissed him softly, pulling him closer to your body, only wrapped in a robe, holding him as close to you as you could.

"Of course sweets. You be safe too, go see Lily and Harry, go see Molly and the kids, don't stay cooped up in here missing me. I'm sure Molly would love to bake with you and I'm sure Lily would be more than happy to eat at much as she can, especially now that we all know she's pregnant again." He laughed softly, kissing your forehead.

"Okay, okay, go, before I lock you in the house and break your wand so you can't leave." He chuckled, wiping a few stray tears from your face as he kissed you one last time before moving to leave the comfort of the home the two of you built together.

Five minutes without him had you sobbing and feeling empty.

Six days without him had you throwing up.

Two weeks without him had you taking a pregnancy test.

Two weeks and three minutes without him had you sobbing as the plus sign on the test.

Three weeks without him had you hiding it from your best friend.

Four weeks without him had you looking for the baggiest of his sweaters and wishing he would finally come home.

Five weeks without him had you shaking in fear, fear of your growing stomach and fear of the second turn he would be fulfilling away from home.

Six weeks without him had you going to the appointment without him, without anyone knowing.

Six weeks and two days without him had you sobbing.

Six weeks, two days, and thirty four minutes had you screaming in joy as you wrapped your arms and legs around his warm hold, clutching onto him with dear life.

"Remus John Lupin!" You yelled, tears falling harder as you felt the worries of him being dead in a hole left your shoulders.

"Oh my sweet love, I've got you, yeah? I've finally got you." He whispered. Your arms were tight on his frame, holding him like you were afraid this was a dream, for him to fade away and leave you once more.

He had walked you to your bed, sitting on it with you set in his arms, his nose sniffing your hair, letting your scent calm him and moony. "Oh my girl, I've missed you so much." He whispered, your tears finally slowing. "I've missed you, bubs." You whispered, your eyes meeting his to press your lips upon his, holding his face close to yours.

Silence filled the room, his hands wandering your skin, making sure each inch of it was the same as he remembered. He didn't falter, until his hands slipped under his sweater, feeling the bump under his hands.

"The fuck?" He whispered, pulling away from you. "What's going on?" He asked you, his eyes sharp on your own.

"Um." You said, your head falling and you stared at your hands. "'M pregnant, Moons." You whispered, moving off of his lap to lift up the warm fabric, showing him your bump. "Twins." You said softly, looking up into his eyes.

"You're joking." He said, his voice void of emotion, it staying the same pitch with each syllable.

"Does it look like I'm joking? You're staring at the bump. I haven't told anyone, waiting for you to get home." You were waiting for a smile to break out on his face, for his eyes to light up, for him to wrap you in his arms once more and spin you and gently as he could before bending down and kissing your belly once - twice - three times.

But, it didn't happen.

Two minutes after he knew had you silent.

Three minutes after he knew had you shuffling back from foot to foot.

Four minutes after he knew had your eyes welling up with tears.

Five minutes after he knew had you breaking the silence, your voice louder than expected.

"Say something, Rem!" You yelled, flinching at the sound of your own tone.

"I - uh." He said, one of his hands moving down his face to attempt to shake the shock from it. "No." He said after another moment, standing up and moving across the room.

"No, we aren't having a kid, let alone two! No!" He paced back and forth, shaking his head. "No way. We're gonna have to figure something else out." He spoke, stopping to think, his face pointing up at the sky. "I'm sure there's something we can do to fix this." He said, finally turning to look at you.

"Fix this? There is nothing to fix, you prick!" You yelled, tears falling once more, but for a much different reason. "I'm fucking pregnant, this isn't something you fix!"

His eyes grew angry, glaring at you like never before. "You know how I feel about having kids! No!" He shouted, his tone matching yours.

"Fuck you." You whispered, shaking your head. You picked your wand up from your bedside table, flicking it once before a suitcase appeared and clothes began filling into it.

"What are you doing?" He asked, his voice monotoned once more.

"Leaving." You spoke the word, shivering at the idea of it. But, once the bag was packed, your hand wrapped around it's handle, you quickly turned on your heel, unsure of apparating out of the flat while pregnant.

"Where are you going?" His voice was slightly softer now, the actions of the moment catching up to him.

Before exiting the place you called home, more so, leaving the person you called home, you whispered. "I dunno."

Your wand was held out, summoning the Knight Bus, letting you onto it and paying the fee before looking at the man before you.

"Where to?" He asked, his left eyebrow raised at you.

You didn't think you could go to Lily and James, not wanting to face Lily's wrath towards Remus along with her hurt for not knowing about your pregnancy. You couldn't turn to Sirius, knowing he would hate his best friend in a way you could never want for the man you loved.

"The burrow, please."

The bus took you there after dropping off the two people before you, assisting you with your bag to the front door before disappearing.

Your hand shook as you knocked, but heard the pitter patter of the feet of her many children before a yell from the woman herself. "I don't know who's at the door! Charlie can you please change Ginny!"

The door flung open, revealing the woman to you. "Oh! Y/n!" She spoke, her face breaking out into a warm, wonderful smile before letting you in. "I haven't seen you for a little while, I was about to send an owl your way." She said, leading you into the home and back into the kitchen where the smell of Mince Pies filled your nose.

"'M sorry, Molly. A lots happened."

With tears in your eyes, you stood before Molly, the woman you saw as your own mother. The woman who celebrated with you when Remus asked you out. The woman who held you when you cried after your first argument with the man. The woman you had planned to tell about your pregnancy, but feeling your heart break each day you waited to tell her.

You had it all planned out. You were going to show up with Remus, once he found out and the two of you celebrated, wearing a sweater that covered your bump - much like the one you still wore. You would be holding two bags, one for each of the parents you loved so much, with a shirt for them both with the words "first time grandparent" on it.

But now, you had to tell this woman that you had kept your pregnancy from her for this long, your spouse had practically told you to get rid of the babies, and that you had left him.

"Molly, I'm pregnant." You whispered, pulling his sweater up to show the adamant bump. "And Remus wants me to get rid of them, so I left him." Your voice was breaking, shaking, and terrified of what you were to do now.

Her eyes filled with tears of her own, her arms wrapping around your frame and holding you to her. Molly Weasley: Best Hugs. She held you for a minute, letting your sobs fall from your body, holding your shaking frame. Once you calmed down as much as she thought you would, she sat you down on the kitchen chairs.

"Oh, sweet girl. I'm so sorry." Her wand flicked, bringing you a warm cup of tea before she settled in the seat beside you. "You're more than welcome to stay here. We can move Charlie in with Bill and you can take his room. You know you're more than welcome to." Her voice was soft and sincere, looking at you with the look you wished your fiance had looked at you with. Her hand reached to tuck a stray piece of hair behind your ear before moving it down to press softly against your growing stomach.

"Molly, you know I can't do that. I wouldn't want to put Charlie out of his room. Plus, I'm going to be getting bigger and eating more soon, I don't want to be in the way." You explained, watching as she shook her head. "In no way would you be in the way. Plus, I'd love to be here with you through this!" She exclaimed, taking your hand in hers.

"Honestly, Molly, I don't want him to find me." You admitted softly, your heart hurting at the truth. You hated how he had talked to you, how easily it was for him to suggest he "took care of it". It hurt you to your core. He was the man you thought would stand beside you through everything. Through the fears of financial trouble, through the happiness of your own home, through your pregnancy. But now, you were all alone. Your soul felt cold, the warmth he provided now long gone, leaving a feeling as cold as the harshest winter in it's place.

"Oh, honey, I understand." She said softly, nodding.

After another minute or two with the wonderful woman, you looked at her. "Molly, could I use some parchment and a quill? And your owl? I wanna write to Lily." You said softly, hating to intrude, but knowing that with one person told, that would soon turn into two, then 9, then everyone else you could imagine.

"Of course love! Of course! Bill, bring me some parchment and a quill please, y/n needs it!"

Bill soon came in, hanging you the items you requested before rushing back outside to play with his siblings. "You can go sit in the living room and write, okay?" She pushed back your hair, smiling at you before allowing you to walk off, going to write a letter for James and Lily, along with one for Sirius.

Your hand was shaking as you pondered what to write to your best friends. How do you explain that you're pregnant with their best friend's kids, that he doesn't want them, and that you've left him, all in the same day that they got home?

You set your fears aside and wrote to your best friends, letting everything out that you could.

Dear Lily and James

I'm so glad you're safe, James, I was so incredibly worried. I'm so happy you're back home with Lily and Harry.

You guys might be wondering why I'm not using our owl, that's actually what I was writing you about. I left Remus. Before you're freaking out and such, I'm also pregnant. He wanted me to "take care of it". His words, not mine.

It's twins. I don't know the genders yet, but I'm 6 weeks along. Absolutely huge though. That's a lie, I just feel huge. I can still wear one of his sweaters to cover the bump. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you, Lils. I wanted to wait until Rem got home and us be able to tell you both together. Don't worry, I'm writing Sirius about it too.

I don't know where I'm gonna stay, if I'm being honest with you. I'm at Molly's right now, but I'm not staying long. I'm not staying at yours either - especially not with you pregnant too Lily, and with Harry. I can't do that to you guys. Plus, like I told Molly, I don't want Remus to know where I am.

I know that might seem wrong, but he wants me to get rid of them. I can't ever do that. They are apart of me, apart of us both. I'm growing these two precious beings that are half of us and full of our love - well, my love. How am I supposed to look him in the eyes and see him hate me as I grow our kids.

I'll write you both after I'm settled somewhere, but this will be my only letter until then. I love you both so, so much. Give Harry a kiss from me.

You folded the letter up and wrote one quite similar to Sirius before tying them to Errol and sending him off to your three best friends.

You stood and waddled back to find Molly with Fred and George outside, scolding them for attempting to get Ron to fly on their broom and hit the Bludger before it hit him.

"This is what I have to look forward to, huh?" You asked, a light smile on your face.

"Oh yeah, they're twice the trouble." She laughed, smiling. Fred and George smiled at that, proud to have caused Mischief in their family. "But they give you twice the love." She spoke, watching as they ran off while their mother was distracted.

The two off you walked towards the house once more, talking. "Did you decide what you want to do?" She asked finally, looking at you.

"I'm going to the states. I have some family there that I want to go visit, one with a guest house that I can stay in. I owled to them when I sent Lily and James one." You stood before her, tears welling up.

"You better come see me all the time still, send me pictures of you growing. Send me the address so we can come see you, especially in America! Don't let me go without seeing you growing my grandbabies." You nodded, wrapping her up in your hold.

"I won't, I swear. I'll send you so many owls, you're gonna think I am living with you." She kissed your temple, holding your cheeks.

"Okay, I put your bag upstairs in Bill's room, just as a precaution. Do you want me to go get it or-" she was cut off with a frantic knock, the hits not stopping.

"I'll go get it, that sounds urgent." You both laughed softly, your swollen feet carrying you up the stairs and to Bill's room, grabbing your suitcase before heading down the stairs.

"Molly, where is she. I just want to see her." You heard Lily speak, her voice hurried.

"Sirius, let me go! She's in there, I know she is!" Remus yelled, his voice carrying up the stairs.

"Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit." You mumbled, looking around the stairs for some kind of hidden passage. It's a wizard and witch house, how is there not a hidden passage?" You reached for your wand, your eyes squeezing shut as you realized you set it down to write to your friends.

"Stop it! All four of you!" Molly yelled, her voice sharp. "There is a woman in my home who is pregnant and does not need this kind of stress. Now, I will ask her if and who she would like to see."

While she was speaking, you creeped down the rest of the stairs and slipped into the living room, grasping your wand.

"Worse than my own kids, I swear." You heard her mumble before walking towards the living room. "Y/n, dear? I'm sure you've heard them by now but the boys and Lily -" she cut herself off, her eyes finding you holding your wand and suitcase, your eyes welled up with tears and your lip between your teeth.

"I love you, Mum." You whispered, before clutching your belly in protection with your arm holding your suitcase, apparating from the warm home.

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pixie88 · 3 years

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🎃The Monster Mash🎃

A/N | After @lem-20 I wish you would write a fics where... ask yesterday I had to do a little Halloween fics for one of my favourite couples! My head isn’t in the game for my other fics atm, so this was refreshing writing about them. It only took a couple of hours too! Enjoy 😘

Summary | Halloween with Adam & Ellie. 😈

I’m only tagging A&E readers, so just let me know if you want to be tagged in future fics of theirs. 😘

Find previous Series - Adam & Ellie, Together and Alone - HERE under Adam & Ellie.

Word count | 2.7k Sorry I got carried away!

WARNINGS | ⚠️ 18+ Only! Fluff & NSFW.

Disclaimer | The Thomas cake photo is a friends cake. (whom I asked permission to use in this fic.)

Pairings | Adam x Ellie.

Song inspiration |

A lot can happen in four years...

"Can witches wear red lipstick?" Delilah watches her mum apply the finishing touches to her Bride of Frankenstein costume. She looks at her daughter's reflection in the vanity mirror and pretends to think for second "OK....but only for tonight!" she winks at her.

Delilah's face lights up.

"Arhhhhh, Mummy save me Dracula wants to suck my blood!" Charlie bursts through his parents bedroom door "You have no where to hide! I can hear the blood pumping through your veins!" She hears Adam call out as he climbs the stairs. "Quick hide in the box he won't look in there!" Ellie rushes the kids into the storage box and hides in the wardrobe herself.

Through the crack of the wardrobe doors Ellie watches him wander into the bedroom "You think you can hide, but I can smell you!" Charlie giggles giving their hiding spot away. Adam looks toward where his six and four year old are hiding.

"Hmm... now where could they be?!" he's standing in front of the storage box at the end of the bed, he bends down to lift the lid, but it flies off, revealing Charlie and Delilah, but before he has time to capture his young victims Delilah sprays him with Ellie's deodorant - Ellie hadn't seen her grab that!

They jump out of the box and Charlie lands on Adam's foot, making him collapse to the floor in pain as the two of them run. Spotting her chance to make a run for it too Ellie reveals her own hiding spot, but as she makes her way out of the bedroom Adam captures her. "Arrrhhhhh!" she screams.

"Mum!" Charlie calls as he spots her in Adam arms "RUN! Save yourselves!" she calls out to them, the both of them race down the stairs. "Hmm...now what am I going to do with you?" he says in a playful tone. "Only good things, I hope!?" she giggles, "Sorry my love, but the only things I have in mind for you are naughty things!"

"Well, mister they will have to wait until later we have a witch and a little devil that are excited about trick or treating!" his lips brush against the crook of her neck, "You look absolutely stunning by the way!" he peppers kisses along her pulse line "And you...look absolutely frightful!"

They hear foot step hammer up the stairs again "En guard!!" Delilah swings the broom stick and cracks Adam in the leg "Ouch!!!!" his arms drop from her waist. Charlie burst into the bedroom with the mop "We came to save our Mum!" Charlie shoves the still damp mop towards Adam face, "OK, thanks for saving me! Now let's put the broom and mop away, Dracula can't take you trick or treating if you swept and mopped him up!"

They're on their thirteenth house...

"Thanks for letting Benny tag along! It's his first Halloween with us." Tom watches Benny, Delilah and Charlie knock with Adam and Justin. "How is he settling in?" Ellie looks towards him, he sighs, "I think if it wasn't for Justin he would have asked to go back in care by now!" he tries to hide the sadness in his eyes. "Hey! None of that! I'm sure he likes you just as much!" Ellie rubs his arm apologetically.

"Ellie, he has so much more in common with Justin than he does with me!" she knew fostering would be hard for all of them, but she thought Tom would take to it like duck to water. "Tom! You might not be in to footie or computer games, but I'm sure there is something you both like!" he huffs "If there is I can't think of anything! I think I need to just admit it..I wasn't cut out to be a foster dad!"

Ellie grabs him by the shoulders "NO! You stop that right now Thomas!!!" she hisses "This is a big thing for you and that little lad! Whatever you are feeling...he's feeling it too! That's what makes you a perfect foster parent, the boys is only five and has gone through so much already. He needs someone that won't quit when things get hard and I know you aren't a quitter! My two are smitten with their Uncle Tom..."

He cuts her off "But Ell's being an Uncle is different!" he lets out a breath "It might be, but surely there is something you could do together! What about baking? All kids love cake!" she nudges him "OK, I'll give that a try!" he smiles "So your two are smitten with their Uncle Tom huh?" he teases her.

"Well, duh! They can wrap you around their little fingers!" she winks, "Rubbish! I'm no push over!" he tries to protest. "That's why Uncle Tom spent eighty pound in Smiggle last week! Then lied about there being a sale on...I saw the receipt!" she teases him. "I...fine! I'm a push over!" he laughs as the kids come charging over.

"Mummy, when are we going to Nana's party? I'm cold!" Delilah looks up at her, "Shall we do another door, then make our way over?" the three of them nod and race to the final door. Adam and Justin go to follow after them, but Ellie pulls them both back "I think Tom's got this one!" she winks at him before he strides after the little monsters.

Later at Nana Mel's and Grampy Neil's house...

The kids are playing pin the face on the pumpkin with Grampy Neil. "Ell's you said I'm a pushover, but have you seen Neil?" she looks over Neil is on all fours with a blindfolded Charlie on his back crawling towards the faceless pumpkin. "You were right, you know!" she looks back towards Tom narrowing her eyes, "He said he likes to bake and he wants to make chocolate chip cookies using some of the chocolate he got tonight!"

"See! Just relax...it will come!" she smiles softly at him. "Tom! Did you see that? Did you? I got the face on!" Benny comes bouncing over "Oh wow! That's awesome! Well done! High five!" Tom hold out his flat palm toward Benny who high fives him back. "Hey Benny, I bet Tom couldn't do as well as you!" Ellie winks at Tom. "Why don't you try?!" Benny pulls Tom towards the game.

Adam takes up the seat next to his wife, handing her a glass of purple punch. She takes a sip "Whoa! This can strip paint! What's in it?!" he chuckles "Nan's secret concoction!" he grins at her. "She need to tell people not to breath near a candle after drinking that!" he howls "Come on beautiful, it's not that bad!"

"I'll be tipsy after a sip, drunk after half a glass and on the floor unconscious if I finished this!" his arm drapes over her shoulder "Maybe just have another sip, then...Nana and Grampy have offered to have the kids for the night..." the pads of his fingers draw circles against her shoulder. She rests her hand on top of his thigh "which means what exactly?" she raises a brow toward him.

"Well, my love, I was thinking we could do the monster mash!" she snorts with laughter. "Well, I hope you have practiced the routine!" He shook his head with a laugh, "Oh I have it down to a T, don't worry about that! Beautiful!"

"Have what down to a T? I love this cape dress, Ellie!" Nina nudges the couple as she sits down next to them "Thanks...Oh...erm...the monster mash! Your son here says he's a pro at it!" Ellie teases him. "Oh, give us a show then Adam!" Nina nods towards the middle of the room "Nah! I don't want to show anyone up!"

"Rubbish! You can teach them the moves! You can teach ya dad!" Ellie tries to hide her smirk "Yeah, go on Adam! Show your dad the moves!" he gives her a look that warns her she's going to pay for that later, she bites her lip. Nina isn't letting him get out of it "Fine! But I've had a few so don't blame me if they aren't right!"

He gets up from the sofa "Whoooop!" Ellie calls out "Alexa, play monster mash!" Adam commands Alexa. The music begins and the kids get up "I know this one!" Benny starts dancing and Adam begins to copy him. "Ali! Get up there!" Nina calls over to him, he clearly has had a few of Elaine purple punch as he sways to the middle of the room to join in.

A minute or so into the song...

Leaning against the wall, watching the four of them Ellie taunts him "Nice hip work babe!" Ellie winks at him making him grin as he shook his head at her. Elaine gets up and joins in "MUM, be careful! You might throw out a hip!" Elaine scrunches her face up "I know I'm old, but I'm still school with the kids!" Nina facepalms "It's cool not school! You say that but when you went to school you rode a dinosaur there!"

"You cheeky cow!" Elaine playfully hisses at her. "Grandma? Where did you park your dinosaur?" Charlie innocently asks Elaine. Ellie gaze catches Adams "Charlie, Nana Nina was only joking sweetie!" Ellie smiles at him. The song finally finishes Adam makes his way over to her, "Well your lucky Benny save your butt there!"

He leans against the wall, trapping her, he looks over his shoulder checking no one is within earshot before turning back towards her, he leans in until his lips brush against the shell of her ear "Oh beautiful, believe me it's yours that you want to worry about!" her breathing hitched at his words.

"Mummy? Nana told me to come and give you and daddy a kiss Goodnight." They turn toward their son who is rubbing his eyes slowly followed by their sleepy daughter. "Goodnight sweetheart and we'll see you tomorrow! Make sure you're on ya best behavior for Nana and Grampy!" Adam hugs and kisses them both.

"Nighty night monkeys!" Ellie wraps them in her arms, kissing the top of their heads. Mel ushers them up to bed and Neil turns down the music, turning back to his wife "how much longer do you think we need to stay for? I can't wait to get you home!" He talks only loud enough for her to hear.

"Well, I am rather tired myself so maybe we should make a move? The fresh air might wake me up!" She winks. "Let's go!" They say their goodbyes and get a cab home. His hand rests on her knee "What's up with Tom?" She looked at him questioning "Ell's, we've been together...eight years now..I know when you two are having a heart to heart!"

She still can't believe he stole her heart all them years ago, it only felt like yesterday. "He's worried that he has nothing in common with Benny." His thumb strokes her inner thigh making every nerve ending stand on end. "He'll find something..Benny has only been with them what...six - seven months?"

"I know, he thinks if it wasn't for Justin Benny would have asked to go back into care." Adam shook his head, "But he's brilliant with him... and even ours." She smiles "he'll get there, I know he will." He pulls her towards him and kisses the top of her head "of course he will! He has Justin, you and me to remind him how brilliant he's doing!"

The cab pulls up outside their house, Adam settles the fair "It seems so quiet now hard to believe only a few hours ago the street was full with trick or treaters!" She says into the silent, cold night air as Adam is pulling out his keys, "Let's see if we can make some noise!" He winks at her.

They step inside and she bolts up the stairs giggling with Adam chasing after her as he final caught up with her, he wraps his arms around her. "Why did you run, beautiful?" she turns to face him "I thought you vampires like the thrill of the chase!" she winks. He walks her until she's pinned against the wall behind her "Hmm..." his lips claim hers as they tug at each others clothes.

They're both down to their underwear.....he spins her round still trapped between him and the concrete in front of her, her breast pressed against it and his hand works between her legs. She moans and starts to grind the curves of her arse against his hard shaft "Ellie! Keep doing that and I'll bend you over that bed" she giggles "Is that a promise?" she asks.

He answers her question by moving them into the bedroom pushing her towards the bed, laying her hand flat against it, he pulls down her underwear, runs his length over her throbbing centre before he pushes into her deep, his hands grasp her hips. He draws all the way out just leaving in the tip before he thrust his hips forward into her again, "Ohh!" she moans.

She clenches around him, his pace speeds up and she begins to move her hips to match his. He groans, "Ellie! Fuck! Keep doing that!" she continues her movements, which pushes him deeper with each thrust. He pushes her barriers, he's hitting the walls of her cervix.

He leans over as he keeps moving, his hands come between her legs and works against her clit "Oh god!" she moans, he loves having her like this. "Adam...!" he flips her onto her back, pinning her to the mattress.

He starts peppering kisses along her pulse line.

The pads of his fingers' snakes up between her thighs to find her apex again, he moves so he's positioned between her legs. Removing her bra he begins to kiss between the valley of her breasts', down over her belly button. She bites her lip to stop her moans escaping, he pushes her legs open and buries his face between them.

His tongue parts her petals "Ohh..." she whimpers as his tongue thrust into her, his hand grips her hips. His beard tickles her most sensitive areas, she clutches his hair "Adam...we'll wake the neighbours!" she says with a panting breath. He laps at her centre and works against her clit "Good, because I don't want you to be quiet!" he hums against her.

He speeds up his pace, her toes curl as she grips the sheets "Ohh....Adam! Yesss!" she moans a loud as she hits her high. His lips crash against hers, he lines himself up against her entrance before he plunges into her until his hips meet hers. He swallows her moans, she runs her hands down his chest, making him giggle "Ah, ah, ah!" he grasps both her wrists and pins them above her head.

He thrusts into her again making her arch off the bed, she pulls his lips to her "Ellie, I'm going to come...." she smirks against his lips "Good!" he fucks her harder she has her own climax building.

He thrust harder, deeper she cries out "YES!!!! Ohhh!" he moans make him fall over the edge "Ellie! Fuck!" he jerks.

He claims her lips, she turns the kiss more passionate and they go for round 2.

The next morning...

She stirs turning to his side of the bed which is empty, she can hear him downstairs "Adam?" she calls out to him "I'll be up in a second...don't you dare leave that bed!" he calls up. A couple of minutes later he walks in with a tray "What's this?" she asks as he sits down on the bed next to her, passing the tray. "Breakfast in bed! Something we haven't been able to do in a while!"

"Aww, thanks! This is so sweet!" she kisses his cheek, he turns to check his phone. "I thought you'd need some energy..for what I have planned once you've finished!" he smirks at her. She knew exactly what he had planned for her.

An hour or so later their door bell rings, Adam jumps up and grabs last night's clothes quickly pulling them on "Who's that?" she asks. "It's a surprise!" he winks at her "Now stay there..I'll be two seconds!" he rushes downstairs, she tries to listen out, but their voices are hushed it was only when she heard Adam say "Thanks mum.." she knew it was Nina.

Ellie's phone pings.

She discards her phone when she hears the front door close, she hears his feet hammer back up the stairs as he reaches the top his foot steps, stop and she heard a lighter patter of feet.

She confused until a little fluffy face peak up at his side of the bed "Woof wooof..."

@lem-20 @aussieez @secretaryunpaid @irisofpurple @khoicesbyk @tea-me-kah @gloriousalmondvoiddreamer @beautifuluknownvoid @wombatsxkookaburras

#Spotify #adam x ellie #halloween fics #answered asks #i wish you would write a fics where..#original character #original work #pixie88 #monster mash

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blu-joons · 3 years

Text

Your Daughter Asks To Call Him Dad ~ Eric Nam

“Eric has to come too; you can’t be the only one to put me to bed.”

Your eyes instantly looked across to Eric, whose head nodded immediately. It was all that he ever seemed to do around your daughter, whenever she wanted anything, he would nod straight away and be there for her. You knew first-hand how lucky she was to have someone like Eric by her side as she grew up, the best she ever had to a father figure in her life.

Being a single parent was never the way you imagined your life going, but after three years, you couldn’t imagine your life any other way. It was the same with having Eric around, he’d been your closest friend since you could remember, the best friend in helping you raise your daughter.

Luckily for you, Jisoo knew nothing else aside from having you and Eric in her life. She knew that Eric had been there for you through everything, and now he was there for her too. Just like you, she couldn’t imagine what things would be without Eric around you both.

He was by her side throughout as she got ready for bed, helping her change, brush her hair, even laying down beside her as she made herself comfortable underneath the duvet.

It was a natural instinct in Eric to take Jisoo under his wing. He’d been by your side throughout your breakup and held your hand through it all. There was no other choice as far as he was concerned but to step up and fill the void that had been left in her life.

“Are you going to stay here tonight?” She whispered across to him.

“In your bed?” Eric teased, tickling against her side gently. “I don’t think I’ll fit in your bed all night long, I’ll squish you like a monster if I stay here.”

Her head nodded, clutching onto her hand. “Mijoo at school says that she always shares a bed with her dad when she’s feeling sad.”

“But I’m not your dad,” Eric pointed out to her, “I’m just going to be your annoying best friend for the rest of your life. You won’t want me in the same room as you one day.”

The two of you were both quick to catch onto how her expression dropped and her bottom lip beginning to quiver. “Sweetheart, Eric has his own home to go to, he can’t stay here.”

Her head continued to shake, clinging on much more tightly to Eric. The conversations were always the hardest when she began to tell you about her friend’s dads. She had so many questions, and so many that sadly you had to leave unanswered.

“Maybe next weekend when you haven’t got school, we could have a sleepover,” Eric suggested, trying to bring the smile back to her face. “As long as it’s alright with your mummy. Maybe we could find a bed big enough for the two of us and then you can lay with me all night long, and I can tickle you until I can’t tickle you anymore.”

“Why can’t we just always have a sleepover? You’re here all of the time anyway, I don’t think you even go home when you say that you do. Mummy deserves to have her best friend with her, it’s not like she has a boyfriend who can keep her company.”

Your smile softened as you moved across to lean against the side of her bed, brushing your hand through her hair. For a young girl, she certainly knew so much about the world.

Eric couldn’t help but chuckle at how wise she could also be sometimes. She wasn’t oblivious to the huge role that Eric played in her life, even if he wasn’t hers by blood. She was very aware of how different her life could have been if it wasn’t for him always there to make her smile and tickle her when she frowned.

“Your mummy has you for company, that’s more than she could ever wish to have Jisoo.”

“She deserves more,” she whispered, “we could both enjoy having you here.”

As worried as you were for her putting Eric on the spot so much, you trusted that he’d be able to handle her sass. For all the points she made, Eric always had a comeback to try and get her to stop using her wise attitude so smartly.

“What’s stopping you from staying with us and being here all the time?”

“I don’t know,” he whispered, staring down at her wide eyes that looked up at him. “There’s a lot of complications that would come with me and your mum living together. In ten years, I don’t think we’ve ever spent one night under the same roof with each other.”

It was a bit of a weird habit for the two of you, but both of you loved your home comforts. You could never expect Eric to stay the night whilst Jisoo was young. Although he’d protest with you that it was fine, you could never expect him to change nappies and feed in the early hours, that was a job for you, and you only.

“You could move in and be just like a dad to me.”

Both of you froze at her sudden statement, neither of you knowing quite what to say. Jisoo stared aimlessly between the two of you, sensing she’d maybe said something that she shouldn’t have.

“You always do the things with me that my friend’s dads do, it’s not like I have anyone else to be a dad to me,” she admitted, “you can still be mummy’s best friend, but what if you became my dad too? We’ve always been a weird family, haven’t we?”

“I guess we have always been a bit weird.”

The two of you were often mistaken for a couple whenever you went out with Jisoo, but there were always comments that you just brushed aside. If anything, you found it funny that you managed to give off such an impression to everyone.

“If you want to call me dad, I wouldn’t mind,” Eric whispered across to her.

At last, her eyes lit up yet again, nodding her head instantly back across at him. “There’s no one else I would ever want to call dad aside from you, you’re the best dad for me.”

“Jisoo, are you sure about this?” You questioned, not quite as convinced as Eric. “To start calling him dad is a pretty big deal, it’s not like calling him uncle or brother, are you sure that it’s what you want to do?”

“Of course,” she giggled, as if it were all so easy. “Who else is going to look after me and you like Eric does? Sometimes I don’t get why you two don’t just get married.”

Your head shook as Eric nudged her side gently. “I could never marry your mother; she’d drive me up the wall. I’m more than happy just being her best friend, and even happier to be able to take on the honour of being dad.”

“If you become dad, does that mean you’ll move in?” She continued to push, poking at Eric’s cheek as his eyes rolled. “Please can you come and stay?”

His eyes looked across at you, but all you could do was shrug your shoulders. “Maybe that’s a conversation for us adults to have whilst you get some sleep.”

“I know that you’ll both end up saying yes,” she teased.

“You don’t know what will happen next.”

---

Masterlist

#eric nam #eric nam imagine #eric nam one shot #eric nam drabble #eric nam fluff #eric nam scenario #eric nam reaction #kpop #kpop imagine

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ambertea · 3 years

Text

clever

Read on AO3

She’s six years old and she’s just won a certificate for Maths.

Her mum’s sitting at the back of the assembly, exchanging whispers to the single dad sitting next to her. Rose keeps looking back, trying to catch her eye, but instead watches her mother’s hand sneaking up a strange man’s thigh.

The headmaster smiles at her strangely, in a way she will later define as ‘condescending’ but in the moment she can’t wrap her head around.

“Well done, you clever girl.” He says, and Rose hates it. His clammy hand engulfs hers and Rose just blinks as he shakes it up and down.

The school claps dutifully and her mum is still not looking at her.

She’s eleven years old and she hates everyone in her class. They tease her in the playground, mock her in the classroom and the only safe haven is the tiny library. The librarian is old and odd, and she strokes Rose’s hair like she’s nothing more than a tiny doll.

“Don’t try so hard to be clever,” she tells her. “They’ll leave you alone.”

Rose leaves the library and never comes back.

She’s fifteen years old and GCSEs are utter bullocks. Mickey has already failed them all, already told her they don’t matter in the real world. She stays behind after school to sit in empty classrooms to figure out algebra and tells her mum she still does gymnastics.

She gets her results in a thick brown envelope and takes a quick glance at a long list of A’s before she chucks it in the bin.

“Pure shit.” She tells her mum. “Didn’t even try, anyway. I’m just not clever enough.”

Her mum throws her a party regardless, and Rose ignores the ache in her chest.

She’s seventeen and he’s fucking hot.

She’s told her mum she’s doing A-levels because she hasn’t figured out if she wants to do hairdressing or childcare. Instead, she doodles equations on the back of English papers whilst she waits for everyone else to finish.

She meets Jimmy outside the school gates and he’s smoking cigarettes and the smell gets right into the back of her throat. She tells him that it’s bad for him, and he tells her he could be bad for her. He’s right.

She drops out of school and her mother approves because it was giving her airs and graces. What her mother does not approve of is the filthy bedsit she moves into, where she cries as her boyfriend screams at her.

“You think you’re clever, do you?” he yells, and she shakes her head and whispers no, no, never.

She’s nineteen, fucking shop window dummies are after her, and a strange man is standing with her in the lift.

“’Cos to get that many people dressed up and being silly, they got to be students.”

“Good point. Well done.”

She’s wrong, but the praise bounces around her brain.

She runs off with him because apparently, that’s just what she does. Runs off with charismatic men, leaves her mother worried sick, because she is Rose, and Rose is not clever.

This man, however, is no Jimmy. He’s smart – so smart, any small attempts at intelligence still leave her feeling dumb. This is a comfort. She argues with him, thinks around him, and starts to feel a bit better about herself.

He’s sweet as well, and kind, and doesn't care when she asks too many questions. He shows her how to strip wires and repair parts of his precious ship, and they tinker away together in comfortable silences. Now and then, she properly impresses him, and he ignores the beauties of the universe and beams at her instead. It’s strange and wonderful and she tries her best not to disappoint him.

Then she is sent away, he is trapped, and it’s time for her to use her bloody brains only she’s not sure they even work anymore. He is dying, far in the future, but still dying, and she is watching her mum scoff down chips. She doesn’t want to go back to her old life, doesn’t want to play stupid anymore.

“Why, because you’re better than us?”

No, because she has learned what life is like when she tries, and she is not yet ready to stop.

She makes it back, using her brain and a fucking massive truck, and it is worth it if just for the way he is looking at her. He tells her she is fantastic and then explodes into a whole new man, with a lankier frame and wilder hair. He takes a long nap, and she is left to be useless once more.

She stands up in front of actual, breathing monsters and tries to copy words she’s heard, but her voice shakes, and her hands are trembling. They laugh at her, and she is eleven again, being teased by the nasty girls in her class.

He saves the day, because that’s just what he does, and she runs off with him again because his smile is still kind and their hands fit nicely. Cassandra sits inside her brain and hums with curiosity, poking around her mind like it’s a mildly interesting boutique.

“Not as thick as you seem, are you?” She whispers into Rose’s mind.

She’s inside some sort of spaceship and he is gushing over the accomplishments of Reinette de Pompadour. She already knows all this, knows who she is, but he is enjoying the sound of his own voice, so she keeps quiet.

She watches him carefully, notices the lipstick marks around his face and the ridiculous angle of his collar, and stamps down the familiar feelings of jealousy rising within her chest.

It had felt like they were growing closer. Their hugs had been lingering, hands held tightly at any available moment. She had thought something was growing, something small and precious and good. Clearly, she was wrong.

Reinette dies, and Rose isn’t glad, not really, but she watches him carefully afterward and wonders. Wonders why he keeps her around if he even wants her there. She tries to ask, but the words die on her tongue.

She has almost let the feeling go when she meets her father, a man who does not know her and apparently does not care to. She calls him dad and he runs, leaving her crying and shaking and so very vulnerable. She wonders, afterward, why. Why no one has ever wanted her properly, why it feels like no one has even met her in the first place. She sobs into her mum’s shoulder and wishes she had told her about the GCSE results.

Maybe it’s a good thing, she thinks later, that she’s alone. She has no real connections that make her want to stay at home, no real relationships that don’t leave her mentally exhausted. He is her grounding point, her focus, and he doesn’t think she’s stupid, not really, but he doesn’t think she’s clever either.

She knows she loves him; knows she will spend the rest of her life pining for him. It aches, having so much unspent emotion coursing under her skin. Feels like she could explode and implode simultaneously. But his eyes are so soft, and he is so worth it.

“We’ll always be alright, me and you.” She tells him. He just stares into the sky glumly.

“There’s a storm approaching.”

She hopes for a bit of rain but instead gets a fucking earthquake.

She’s twenty-one, she’s in a different universe, and she’s absolutely fine.

“How are you doing?”

“Are you okay?”

“Speak to me, Rose, please.”

She doesn’t speak to anyone. Doesn’t even look in the mirror.

It’s hard to assign blame on a talking pepper pot, so instead, she blames herself. If she’d been stronger. Tried harder. Been cleverer.

She tells her mum this over a bottle of wine, and she just laughs.

“People like us aren’t clever, Rose. We’re survivors.”

She doesn’t want to be a survivor anymore.

She starts working at Torchwood. Starts sleeping at Torchwood as well. Pete gives her the job out of pity but is quickly astonished by the scale of the work she’s doing.

“You’re brilliant.” He tells her one night. Jackie scoffs.

“Brilliant? Hark at her.”

Rose ignores her. It doesn’t matter.

She sits through A-levels, and then university lectures, and then physics conventions with groups of boring boys who follow her like a bizarre squadron. She has a brother now, a tiny boy with eyes just like hers, and when she tucks him into bed, she whispers stories of the stars.

She creates a dimension cannon and brings it home to show Pete. He marvels over it whilst Jackie sniffs like she’s got a nasty cold.

“Just glorified jewelry. Face it, sweetheart. You’re stuck here with the rest of us. It’s time to get used to it.”

“Shut up,” Rose says, and she can feel her pulse banging away in her ears like a marching parade.

Jackie is spluttering, Pete’s eyes are wide, and Rose isn’t quite sure what she’s doing but she’s doing it anyway.

“I can do this. I am going to do this. So just shut up.”

She does do it. She flits around universes like students backpack around Europe, and it’s strangely healing to spend so much time by herself.

She meets tiny aliens made of glass who kiss through the refractions of light and hugs ginormous bear-like creatures who are surprisingly friendly and incredibly soft.

She searches for him, and it hurts and it’s hard but it’s also fantastic.

She gets through finally to a universe that should be right but is oh so very wrong. A red-haired woman screams at her, and Rose is finding it difficult to breathe.

“I'm nothing special. I'm a temp. I'm not even that. I'm nothing.”

“Donna Noble, you are the most important woman in the whole of creation!”

“Oh, don't. Just don't.”

She tells her mum about her GCSE results because she can’t stop thinking about it. Her mum stares at her for a long while and then looks down at her hands. Rose has never seen her mum speechless before, doesn’t like it, so she just nods and leaves.

She finds him, and the feeling rushes right from her toes to the top of her head. She has done it. After all the effort and pain, she has found him, and the uncurling pride is like nothing she’s ever felt before.

He gets shot and utterly ruins it, but the feeling lingers.

Her mum shows up at the worst possible time, but she is there, and she is looking at Rose so fiercely. When the situation calms down and they are safe, she pulls Rose into a tight hug and rubs her hands in circles across the small of her back.

“I’m so proud of you, sweetheart.” She whispers, and Rose quickly wipes her eyes on her shoulders.

She is dumped on the same beach she has had nightmares about for the last five years. She is left again, but this time she is left with a familiar man who whispers promises into her ear and holds her like she is something important.

He is looking at her like he’s hoping she might lead the way, and she knows how to do this now, knows how to think and plan and strategize. She kisses him on the cheek, watches the blush that spreads across his cheek, takes his hand, and leads him back to England.

She doesn’t take him straight back to the mansion, hates the idea of speech and silence in equal measure. Instead, she takes him to her lab, and he stares at her designs through startled eyes and stolen glasses. She fidgets in the corner of the room, and wraps her arms around her waist, waiting for his verdict.

He turns to her, whips the glasses off of his face and a look of quiet wonder spreads across his face.

“You’re brilliant.”

She squirms under his gaze, picks off an invisible bit of fluff from her jacket. He is still looking at her, and she tries her best to smile.

“Thanks.”

“No, seriously. These are so impressive.”

She’s still not sure what to do with the praise, but it warms her and fills all the cracked pieces of her soul with new and growing tissue. She kisses him, both because she’s not sure what else to do, and because she can, and he smiles against her lips. They break apart and he runs his fingers over her work, his eyes soft and curious.

“How did you do this?” He whispers, and something tender and precious burns gently in her chest.

“I guess I’m just clever.”

#i've reread this so many times i'm not entirely sure if it makes sense but hopefully!#lol #fic #rose tyler #doctor who

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