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#im tired so maybe i'll have different feelings about this after I sleep but right now im dissapointed
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I too have a hand kink and a size kink so comparing hand sizes with him is perfect
Please omg imagine he's like "It grown back, see?" and we stare at him, "Yeah like 5 hairs" Also me too, I love the idea of us being the only one who can bring him to his knees
I have so many ideas for the facetime one!! If we're in different time zones, we'll argue with them or they'll argue with us to go to sleep. We get away with saying stuff like "Oh I didn't eat anything yet" because what are they gonna do? :) While on the topic of food, we all get something to eat while chatting, it's like we're at the dinner table
“I can’t live without her, and you definitely can’t” love this!!
Him buying the kid a new ice cream, he's so sweet!! Also the Tan nagging him video 😭😭 He's looking over to make sure Tan's not looking and then mock him
I was debating if I should add the little scenerio, I'm glad you liked it! Also I think he'll feel proud of himself because he knows he's making you feel loved and protected 🫠
It's def the curls Can't wait to read it! 💗💗  I'll save the scar one for next time when requests are open (along with others I have saved, maybeee) 💺 anon
— high fives bc same!! 😩 and right???
— acting like a prepubescent teen, “see I got new hairs” but nah dude it’s not enough. I don’t care how many times I say it, ive said it loads but I’ll say it again, I love big strong masculine men that have a spot gooey spot for their SO
— yes😭😭😭 “it’s late you need to sleep, go and we’ll talk in the morning,” “im not tired, im good” EEEH wrong. omg!!! we can can be having dinner and they can have breakfast and all sat together talking. then hopefully if time zones coincide, can have breakfast next day and they have dinner🫠
— tehe I think it’s really cute and it’s true tbf
— I feel like he’ll feel bad for laughing after, and then maybe remembers a time when he was a kid and dropped something and some older kids laughed at him, so he’d be doing it for his inner child. PISSING YES!!! literally like a child, making sure tans not looking and mocks him. so younger brother coded
— he really would 🥲 he likes feeling appreciated and likes knowing how you feel about him. all he wants is for his love (and kid) to know how loved they are, and how special they are. it’s a bonus when we relay it back to him
— ur super cute!! and ofc angel💓💓
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furiousgoldfish · 7 months
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Do you have any advice for how to manage stress and like constant fear? Or maybe advice about what I should do? (Tw suicide, not mine) My younger sister is severely suicidal and depressed and I've been talking to her every night and sleeping on her floor to stop her from killing herself and I keep talking to my parents about how she needs to go to therapy but they aren't doing anything and they haven't for over a year. My mom told me that it's not my place to decide what's best for my sister. And my dad said that because I'm only 17 I don't know anything about this but I've begged them like five or six times and they still don't believe me. My mom insists I'm being over dramatic and it's my fault that her and my dad talking to my younger sister like 1 time didn't make it better. But they won't talk to my sister at all if I don't or help her and my younger sister has tried to attempt before so I think we need to talk to her more than once? I guess It seems pretty clear to me that my younger sister should go to therapy but maybe I'm thinking about this wrong? Idk. Um. So I guess I just feel really overwhelmed because I've tried asking my siblings for help about my sister and one of my sister's said they wish my younger sister had never been born so we wouldn't have to deal with this (which made it pretty clear she doesn't want to help. Also she's done exactly 0 things to help she just gets inconvenienced by the very idea she might have to and things won't revolve around her problems for like 2 seconds) and my oldest sister who's married and moved out I talked with but now she wont do anything anymore because my parents told her to back off after my mom went on a huge spiel about how I'm over dramatic and blowing things out of porportion and my oldest sister has no right to do anything because she doesn't have legal custody. I don't know. My entire family talks to me about their stress and worries and concerns and I shouldn't be so upset about my younger sister cause I'm used to it but I'm scared all the time that the moment I fall asleep she's actually going to hurt herself so I try to stay up all night to listen for her and I just don't know how to manage the stress and get her help. My parents homeschool us and I don't get to leave the house by myself cause my mom is convinced I'll get murdered. So idk who to talk to or how or even if I should. I don't think this is really abuse, cause my parents haven't hit us and I don't really fit the criteria for emotional abuse either according to your masterlist, (I mean my sister has hit me a few times (not the one moved out) but siblings are different) but idk. It's still trauma? Maybe. Unless it's not? I don't know. Maybe my mom is right. Sorry if this is rambly and weird im just really tired.
Hey, from what I'm reading here, you're the entire's family emotional support, you take all of the stress and complaints from everyone, you alone are responsible for your sister's continuation of life, and you are not even allowed to leave the house, because your mom is worried you'll get killed? And you got hit, but you don't think that was serious?
There is so much stress on you, I'm worried that you might get pushed under the edge. I can sense your utter desperation in saving your sister's life, and that comes from a place of deep compassion, concern, and kinship with your family member. I can tell you'd do anything to save her, and you fear that if she dies, it will be your fault.
But it can't be. Because you alone cannot be responsible for what others do. You've already done everything. You've asked every other person for help, you've raised the alarm, you've been trying to help her, you can't even sleep at night. It cannot be expected of you to go to these lengths, be in this amount of stress, for prolonged amounts of time, even when someone's life is in question. You are not a suicide line, you're not an institution that provides support and watch over people who might do something to themselves, you're not in control.
I believe you're under too much stress and that nobody has any compassion for what you're going through. If even one person cared, they would have helped your sister and watched over her for you. They would have shared the responsibility of saving her and wouldn't make you the sole person responsible. If your sister does, in the worst case scenario, die, you will be the only one who isn't responsible, who's already done everything to prevent it. The fault will be on everyone else.
You seem to be in a prolonged crisis, and I'm not actually equipped to help someone in a crisis like this, so I can't tell you what to do - or rather, I think you've done enough. You've been through enough stress, enough apathy, enough pain. You've been left alone to suffer through this stress, even though you've expressed how scared and anxious you are, and asked for help.
You being kept inside the house at all times, is a form of physical abuse, I should have added it to the checklists - it's a form of violence to restrict your movements. It doesn't make any sense that you will be killed if you step out, when everyone else can walk freely. You are being parentified, and used as an emotional resource, instead of cared for and raised as a loved and nurtured child.
This list has a category of 'parentification', I hope you can find some resources there. I believe you are being abused, and you were taught that it doesn't matter if it happens to you.
I hope you manage to get some sleep. I'm so sorry you were put into this situation, you are not responsible for this. Your parents should be taking this stress, not you. You cannot be responsible for anyone's continuation of life, and being put in a situation where it's expected of you, will break you. This is not on you.
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mokutone · 2 years
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I'm drawing Kakashi for the first time (as much as I love them, I rarely ever draw naruto characters so this is a little fun and new for me) and I'm struggling a little bc I'm trying to draw him relaxed, reclining with pakkun (in the way I recline with my cat) and I'm realizing there's something so personal abt drawing him in such a vulnerable pose ig. Like? I'm very tired too rn so maybe I'm being extra emotional and rambly but there are so few scenes of kakashi in canon where he's not wearing the jounin vest, where he's alone and relaxed and out of uniform. And I didn't realize it until I was trying to think back to other similar scenes and there really weren't any. and I'm kind of mesmerized by how you draw him because you capture that so so well, your art is gorgeous but it's also so real and expressive in a way that shows a lot of practice and a lot of love. Idk i think I've said this before and I'm sorry if it's annoying that I'm saying it again (I'll just shut up after this lol) but I went to an art school and I had massive burnout and only really started drawing again in the past 6 months and you were one of my inspirations 2 start drawing again and I'm still not as good as I'd like to be but I draw so much more now and having an actual passion for art has led to a huge improvement, so thank you and thank u for bearing with me and my sleep-deprived rambles. I think my original point got sidetracked. I forgot why i started writing this ask.
dkgjhsdgkjdshg no i think you're 100% right abt the kakashi relaxed thing, even when we see him "relaxed" he doesn't ever really Look relaxed. like
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here he is chilling out in the hot springs. this man does not look relaxed but he DOES look exhausted and maybe a little like he's gotten lost. somebody help this confused man find the exit.
anyway art + motivation talk beneath the cut
djhsdkjghsdkjhg thank u for all the compliments abt my art, i do work really hard in order to draw expressive characters, and spend a lot of time paying attention to how the small details in posture and expression change how the character comes across, and im glad it pays off!
also yeah no, similarly, once i left art school (when the pandemic hit) i did have a good 6 months where i did not pick up the pencil even once, and like, usually i feel rlly bad or guilty when i'm not drawing, but my burnout was real bad and i was straight up angry abt everything dgkjhsdgkjh so i just...didn't draw for like 6 months. i didn't even feel bad about it bc i was too busy being angry
and i had a bad relationship with art at the time and eventually realized i kind of had to like? make a different relationship with art—like, try to stop seeing art as something which gave me fundamental worth as a human being, or part of who i am? you know? that's a LOT of pressure to put on just...something that i do. if i took that kind of approach to literally any other task in my life, i'd never do it. imagine thinking that the way and style with which you descend the stairs gives you your worth as a person and if you don't do it exactly right then it means you're worthless as a person? buddy i'd just find a way to go down and out through the window LMAO
i think this is the thing which gives a lot of people burnout, it's exhausting to be constantly working on something and ALSO believe that if you fuck it up even a little, it's because you are the fuckup, and a fundamental failure of a person. god thats so much pressure.
anyway so i decided to make a naruto art blog because i don't even like naruto That Much but my best friend had been trying to get me into it for years (ty kate ilu kate), and so any art that i made would be purely for fun, wouldn't have anything to do with my self worth, and might make kate laugh too, and that's why this blog exists! and taking the pressure off of creating art like that has been enormously helpful to my mental health and my ability to create, also i take breaks alllllll the time, i'm like...way healthier about my art thanks to that, and also just...a nicer person, i think? anyway i'm very glad that i inspired you to get back into art but i'm far more glad that you've found a passion for it, cultivating that passion and joy is so important
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#a lot of the way i approach art is bc i worked with kids for a while and like. u can kinda tell when a kid is at the breaking point w/ art#where they're like ''if one more thing goes wrong i am going to Lose It''#+ at that point as a ''teacher'' u have to pick between giving them critique on their artwork to improve OR letting it go + saying their#art is good and they're doing really well#and i always pick the second one—LIKE. once the kid is no longer feeling soooo frustrated abt their art that they're at a breakin point?#THEN we can talk critique. and even then i will still tell them what they're doing well#until theyre at that point tho its all ''yeah!!! you're killing it! look at these new skills you're learning! look how you're improving!''#''look how funny/beautiful/exciting/cool your piece is!!!!''#because first and foremost. i think that art should be enjoyed#having creation as a friend and ally vs A Duty is sooo important#TO BE CLEAR LIKE. this is also still technically a form of critique#i dont just say ''good job champ! great work doing art!'' if u wanna compliment art and have it mean something you do have to be#specific about what is good...not ''that looks great!'' but ''wow you draw really fabulously detailed noses!#or ''wow the fashion you're drawing is really cool—i wish i had that jacket!'' like.#as in all things. compliments and praise are only meaningful if they are /meant/ and you cant fake that#MY POINT IS. if we want to take the pressure off ourselves with art. i think we also gotta treat ourslves like this#look at what we're doing and compliment things we genuinely think weve improved upon. love our successes#nothing better for the ego than to compare new art to old art and look at what weve changed#i should do some redraws at some point#my jutsu
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daftbitch · 9 months
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Hi! NSA here! Sorry for the radio silence, I've been going through it in the mental health department. Plus work and all. I haven’t been able to write at all even though I want to. I hope you’ve been well despite, you know (gestures to the general state of the world)
Omg though pinning a post to call out to me u///u I’m flattered!
You wanted to hear my thoughts about Doe's Nekomamushi fic, and I will share them now! I did read it, but I was so FED that I wanted to devote the proper energy to address what I all liked about it, and I was far too tired to do that this past few weeks. And just kind of… not in the mood to engage with something positive when my brain is in the pits. But now I am here.
A while ago, someone sent Doe an ask referring to the drabbles I sent you and saying she had competition–I wanted to scream! Don’t compare us! T_T She’s got far more experience under her belt! The Nekomamushi commission is proof enough of that. Just incredible work.
Here’s my thoughts:
The intro is masterfully set up. Just paragraph after paragraph of vivid imagery of the location and the sensations of running through a tangled wood and the thrill of it all. Like 14 paragraphs before we even see Nekomamushi, and none of it is boring. I’m like hitting my head on a wall from a writer’s perspective because it’s so well done! The sun setting and the following hush are great transitions to the last part of the chase and really set the mood. I especially love when Sterling wonders to herself if Zunesha sleeps!! It’s such a small but poetic detail that really helps ground her in the world she lives in despite that world being so whimsical.
"A daring glance back was too tempting to resist." I love this sentence and how it transitions to the reveal, I love the emphasis on hunting grounds. But I think my favorite part of maybe the whole fic is the end of the paragraph: 
“So in tune with nature here, it made her shudder. It almost flowed around him, with the ease at which he caught up.”
It’s sooo good! I can picture it perfectly and I just love the concept; such a master of his environment that it feels like the forest moves around him rather than the opposite. Coolest shit ever and something I can easily visualize.
And man, Doe is like a master of mood. After the buildup of the chase and the reveal, literally the moment his paw comes down and pins Sterling I’m on the edge of my seat with anticipation. And from the very start the dialogue is fucking hot:
"Well, little kitten, I've got you-gara right where I want you…there is no place in this jungle where I couldn't find you…"
DAMN I mean talk about starting off strong! And their back-and-forth is so cute and hot.
"Adrenaline and heat, all swirling together. I would chase that scent anywhere, kitten. I'd find you anywhere, until I could have you."
OTL I CANNOT, and immediately followed by "I'll always be yours."  !?!? Im GONNA SCREAM!!
“...causing the beast to rumble in approval. That sound was felt all the way to her core.”
Doe hits all of the monsterfucker motifs: the growling of a beast being felt physically, the heat, the strength, the size difference, for some examples. She has an excellent understanding of the draw of the whole thing and knows how to execute those aspects very well.
Also. ALSO.
"They say you shouldn't tempt the beast." - "I think the beast is tempting me. Don't make me wait."
Fucking SUPERB I love the dialogue so much.
"Eyes on me, kitten."
The dominance and being called “kitten” grjgjdfskhfsj. I know I write the same thing but that’s because IT RULES (no pun intended) and Doe does an amazing job at it
The buildup to the actual penetration, the threat of the edging and the dirty talk is drawn out perfectly and is literally so hot it makes me dizzy. And it all builds up to the tipping point/high point/climax (literaty-term-wise) that is making Sterling beg for it, before you even get to the main event. 
“Nekomamushi's Sulong form is always a bit rougher with her than his daytime self. The beast took what it wanted, and thought of her wellbeing later on once the throes of heat had cooled. But Sterling liked the thrill of being at the moon beast's mercy, a cunt to be used to breed and nothing more.”
Again with Doe showing 100% understanding of what the appeal of monsterfucking is. We love to see it. And then you actually have the main event and it’s 6 full sizzling spicy mastercrafted paragraphs before the first orgasm, like. I don’t know how she does it! Then we get 3 more before Nekomamushi’s?? 
Then a perfect resolution and closing line, which is always something I struggle with. The whole thing is Literally 1000/10 work.
Man, I aspire to write stuff like this. I really look up to Doe as a writer.
That’s about all of my thoughts on that. T_T I love fics I love OCs and self inserts and reader inserts I love writing (I hate writing) I love writing. How have you been, KP? I hope things are okay for you.
I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU FOR SO LONG!!! I WOULD WAIT A MILLION YEARS FOR YOU TO COME BACK TO ME!!! I’M SO HAPPY YOU SAW MY PINNED POST I THINK OF YOU ON THE DAILY!!!
I’m not gonna lie when I saw this at work I literally started jumping up and down and screaming with joy silently, of course, but I did jump up and down. I want you to take your time and reply to me whenever you feel OK there’s no time limit and I’m always gonna be here. Also, it’s OK if you don’t wanna come off anon that’s completely your choice. And I don’t fault you for that at all.
After I read through your message all the way I literally called Doe and I read her this she was literally so happy She said it made her week and she’s never had such an analytical review of one of her works before she knows the time and energy. It must’ve taken for you to write all of this and source actual lines from her story
She said she greatly appreciate you for doing that very much and if you ever want to go over to her blog and just be on anon to just go ahead and do that if you want.
I reread that story a couple of times a week because it’s a literally, my favorite, and that one line with Sterling just being a Cunt to breed literally always sends a tingle through me. It’s literally my favorite line of the entire story. 
My friend I greatly appreciate you so much and you don’t know how much joy that you bring me every time you message me I always get really giddy and giggle a lot that’s how much I look forward to you. 
I’m always here if you wanna talk to me if you even want to make a side blog and keep your self anonymous that way and go into my DM’s. If you just want to talk I’m totally down with that too. It’s whatever you’re comfortable with or we can continue communicating this way it’s literally whatever.
And I have so much more I want to tell you and I look forward to hearing from you once again, it brightens up my entire day. You have no idea !!!
I am doing pretty good. I’m getting over a back injury and Covid. I go see the Barbie movie on Saturday. I’m very excited for that. Hopefully you can see it too if you want. 
 I have so much to tell you and I would like to discuss a bunch of horny stuff with you, but just general stuff in general 
I hope this finds you well, my friend 
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millyhelp · 4 months
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girl, I just saw that you are Brazilian, and I am too!!!! could you do something like either the reader is very angry or they are in an intimate moment, and she just starts babbling words in another language and he can't understand anything? (Or maybe he gets turned on, who knows, right🤷🏽‍♀️?)
OIII! I'm so happy to see Brazilians here too!! And your request is an order 🫡
Im sorry if this is shortand sound bad, I'm writing this while I'm dying of sleep 🫠
Warnings: Swearing in another language, Brazilian reader, praise kink, smut, boobs kink and sex p in v.
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Hypnotized. Jason was hypnotized.
“Porra!(fuck!) Jason…” you moaned loudly when you felt his lips on your nipples as he went deep inside you.
How did you get to this situation? Well, you were totally irritated while looking for something to wear after getting out of the shower.
“Onde eu botei o caralho da blusa? (Where a put my fucking t-shirt?)” You almost growled in anger.
Jason on the other hand, was just walking past the closet you two share and heard you swear. Yes, he knows you're Brazilian, but this was the first time he heard you speak Portuguese.
“Doll? You okay?” He leaned against the doorframe and looked at you. Fuck, you were just wearing your bra and panties as you looked for something to wear. Jason couldn't help but have his eyes fixed squarely on your beautiful boobs, perfectly placed in that lace bra.
“I can't find o caralho da blusa! (I can't find the fucking tshirt)”
That's where it all started. You swearing in Portuguese, dressed only in lingerie, your boobs looking incredible. Jason can't hold back.
Every word that came out of your mouth in your native language did something different to Jason.
“Meu garotão, me fazendo me sentir tão- oh! Bem! (My bigboy, making me feel so good)” You pulled his hair and Jason let out a muffled moan from your nipple in his mouth.
He didn't understand what you were talking about, but damn, it made him closer and closer to cumming inside you.
“Ride me… please!” Jason moaned with his lips still on your boobs.
You turned it under you without taking it out. you both moaned as you felt him deeper inside you. Jason's hands went towards her boobs, squeezing and massaging them. you started going down and up on his cock.
“Grande pra caralho! (So fucking big!)” You moaned loudly.
Jason was beyond happy and euphoric. He was mesmerized by you. Totally in a trance.
When he felt you squeeze his cock with your wet walls, one of Jason's hands went towards your clit.
“Cum for me, please pretty girl.” Jason whimpered and then grunted. “I'm so close. Cum with me, huh?”
“Jace! Oh my-” You jumped on his cock with speed and desperation to achieve your release. Your orgasm has come to you and your vision became clear.
Jason came hard inside of you. His large arms wrapped around your waist and held you tightly as the spasms of your strong orgasm went away. Jason's face was in your boobs.
"You should speak more Portuguese..." his voice sounded muffled
"If it has that effect on you, I'll just speak Portuguese now, amor.” You gave a tired smile and felt Jason smile in your skin.
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HOPE YOU LIKED! 🥹🇧🇷
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the-100th-witch · 2 years
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Journal 1? Sep 7th, 2022
Don't know im trying out different things. Maybe journaling on Tumblr will make me more consistent? we'll see
Had a pretty productive morning due to the handymen in my house at 8am lol
been working on making a plan on my goals and learned of themed years rather than new year resolutions or 5-year plans. Even breaking it down to themed seasons. So this autumn (sep, oct, nov) I'm going to be working on self-improvement, studying, and reading.
From there im going to break it down further:
September: Self-improvement
research on: tools to improve my life, habit building, actionable steps for my broad goals, etc etc
I'm hoping this won't overwhelm me and I actually stick to my goals. I tend to try to do too much and get freaked out and then have a bad week and ruin my progress. This way, even if it's only 30 mins of working on self-improvement, im still on track in a way. Not my usual "all or nothing" approach that I accidentally adopted recently lol
Rambling under readmore
i think the lack of routine (from school especially) really threw me through a loop. I honestly think I would have gotten over it quicker if not for a 3-year pandemic (still ongoing obviously but from 2020-2022 of all the confusion and a million other things, that on top of graduating really fucked with my head). I was waiting to finally feel like my normal self again but I don't think that will be happening. I almost have to re-invent myself into a new person bc my old habits/strategies don't work for me anymore.
my biggest issue is energy. I'm so tired all the time and it might be bc of some issues with possible long covid (had it at the beginning of this year and was the first time I actually had it). I noticed that even with proper sleep and diet (during my good months lol I realize I'm not as consistent as I want to be but even during those good months of going to bed at 10:30-11pm and waking up at 5-6am) I can't muster up the energy like i use to. It 100% could also be age on top of long covid, I'm nearly 30 and can't push my body/mind like i use to in college.
i'm eating an apple and having a coffee (my daily routine in the morning) and my work isn't as stressful and i actually enjoy it (with some usual minor headaches that every job has) but after work im just so fucking tired but my brain is still active.
im fixing my diet and trying to re-fix my sleep schedule. I was okay for a couple of months and then I moved back home and now my sleep schedule is back to going to bed at 12am or later. I did have 2 anxiety attacks this week for no reason other than overthinking dumb things. I just can't stop thinking at night for some reason.
Maybe moving back home made me feel like a failure but honestly, i lived on my own during the whole pandemic and circumstances (my friends moving out; one for health reasons and the other wanting to go to school outside the country) and the current inflation of everything not justifying paying high rent pricing. The current renting average in my area is 1300-1500 for a shitty apartment. any lower and I'm in a bad area. A one-bedroom apt is 1380 and a two-bedroom is 1495 like????? WHY IS IT ONLY A $115 DIFFERENCE??? that's not even including all the utilities or extra shit. Obviously, i move in with people but just knowing about the $115 difference pisses me off. This is just one example and there is another that is $350 difference but that's still ridiculous between a one bed and a two bed apartment...
i want to save up to move out of state so it doesn't make sense for me to move out unless my mother becomes 100% unbearable which she is 50% there right now... but i think I have to stick it out for a year or 2 bc I'm not dealing with strangers and high rent when I'll just move in a year or two for possible grad school or just to get the fuck outta Cali. Idk I'm just rambling now but we'll see.
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itsukakendo · 3 years
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MY THOUGHTS ON THE ENCANTO LGBTQ+ CONVERSATION:
hello :)) guess who is supposed to be asleep so they can be well rested for their spanish exam tomorrow but decided a fictional movie controvery was more important :)))
to preface this:
-i'm an LGBTQ+ asian immigrant. and although i don't share the same ethnicity as those of encanto, i'd like to think we have some similarities
-do NOT argue or put each other down over this. the reason why we have these conversations is that so we can understand each other, not to be right.
-if i say something offensive or that you disagree with, lmk and we can talk abt it! maybe we'll come to realizing more than before! just be respectful please
alright, that's it!
1. `white people/whiteness`
as i read a lot about people's arguments i tend to see a lot of it put on white people. while i agree that they typically experience things differently than us, i think it's also important to understand that it can come from poc, too. i am in no way shape or form trying to shift the blame, but leaving others out of the bubble makes it seem like we're untouchable when it comes to biases.
the truth is, though, we're susceptible to it, too. depending on your culture, you've probably got a little bit of internalized discrimination in you. i'll be honest, i thought the trans!luisa idea was okay until people pointed out how it's problematic. maybe it's surprising because i'm a part of the LGBTQ+ and an avid supporter of it, but there's still things we need to unlearn even after joining the community.
2. `why people are placing these hcs on encanto`
i think the reason why people enjoy this movie so much is because it is incredibly different from other big disney movies. it de-villainized green, has musical-like choreography, lacks the typical disney princess voice in the lead role, and has much smaller stakes. what it also has, though, are characters represented in a modern way who people relate to.
i think on one hand people hc isa as a lesbian because she didn't like mariano, and on the other people hc her as a lesbian because they see themselves in her.
i think people did this to almost all the characters; mirabel, camilo, etc.
and there's nothing wrong with lgbtq+ hcs! but the intent behind it can matter a lot. if it comes out of seeing yourself in the character and basing it off of you, then i think that's understandable unless it's somehow inappropriate. but when you're placing hcs on characters based off of stereotypes and stereotypes alone, it'll get problematic.
so, if camilo is genderfluid to you because you are as well and would like to be him, then okay. if mirabel resonates with you so much that you see yourself in her and also happen to be enby, then alright.
3. `putting down lgbtq+ hcs in general`
this obviously does not apply to everyone critiquing hcs, but i think there are things worth saying here.
telling people "not everything has to be gay" or saying lgbtq+ hc-ers are just shoving gay wherever they can sometimes feels a little insensitive. people (who are within the community) usually use these hcs because there isn't much big stuff out there that specifically labels and actively represents them as such. if you get incredibly bothered by even one lgbtq+ hc, then kindly check yourself.
anyway im tired and i want to sleep so i'll probably add to this or delete this in the morning depending on whether i find it dumb and incomprehensive or articulate and understandable when i reread this in the morning.
night, folks!
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dasywritingblog · 3 years
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ENEMIES TO LOVER
Natasha Romanoff x reader
Words: 1.734
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(Y/N) P.O.V.
I raise my head to observe the huge building in front of me: the Stark Tower, Avengers headquarter, my new home. Call it whatever you like, but this is not gonna change what is going on right now. I'm still shocked since when Nick Fury in the flash walked in my lab and offered me to work with the Avengers.
I take courage and enter the building where I'm greeted by the headmaster of S.H.I.E.L.D. himself.
FURY: Miss. (y/l/n) it's good to see you. Please follow me,I'll take you to meet the team.
I nod my head in agreement still incredulous of what is happening to me. I follow the man in the elevator that takes us in an enormous living room which alone is three times the size of my flat in Brooklyn.
I look around the room until I notice the whole team sitting at a table at the side of the room near the windows. Everyone is looking at me with a smile on their face, well everyone except the infamous Black Widow that is glaring at me as if she wants to kill me.
FURY: Avengers, this is (y/n) (y/l/n) the recruit I talked to you about. She is a scientist so shell work with Banner in the lab most of the time, but I want her to be trained just in case.
A tall blond guy with enormous man boobs (thanks Hayley Atwell) and piercing blue eyes comes towards me holding out his hand which I shake promptly.
STEVE: Welcome to the team (y/n).
(Y/N): Thank you Captain it's an honor to be here.
A brunette girl comes to me and starts dragging me out of the room making me trip over my own feet.
WANDA: Come on (y/n/n) I give you a tour of the tower. Oh plus I'm Wanda.
(Y/N): Well it's nice to meet you Wanda, although it would have been more pleasant if you hadn't tried to tear off my arm.
Both of us burst out laughing. Maybe I'll fit in here better than I thought.
TIME SKIP (cause I can)
After the tour with Wanda she was recalled by Vision, aka her boyfriend, to prepare dinner, so I kept wandering around the building looking for my bedroom. When I finally find my room I stop in front of it when I hear voices coming from the door next to mine. I know I shouldn't do this, but curiosity is too strong, so I go to the ajar door and begin to listen.
NATASHA: I don't like her Clint, there is something in her that doesn't convince me.
CLINT: Nat you saw her one time and you haven't even talked to her.
NATASHA: She'll provoke so many problems...
CLINT: How do you know that?
NATASHA: She doesn't know how to fight! She is so weak. I'm telling you Clint if we don't do something now she is gonna get us all killed.
I instinctively walk away from the door. I'm hurt by Natashas words, but i don't understand why. I lock myself in my room and start studying to take my mind off the harsh words of the spy until Tonys AI warns me that dinner is ready.
I walk down to the dining room and finde everyone already seated. There are only two vacancies, one near Wanda. I try to sit next to her but I fall with my ass to the ground. Ignoring the fact that everyone is staring at me and the blush on my cheek I stand up and see Natasha standing with a smirk on her face and the chair in her hands.
NATASHA: This is my place newbeen, go find another spot.
I mumble some apology and go sit near Bruce who places a hand on my shoulder in a reassuring manner.
BRUCE: Don't worry, shell warm up to you.
I smile at his words even if deep inside I know it will never happen.
TIME SKIP
It's been a month since the day I arrived at the tower, and I have to say that I settle down pretty well. Time passing I got closer with everyone, me and Wanda are inseparable now and for what concern Natasha she still hates me.
Yep, she spends every day making smart-ass comments about me, insulting me and during training she offers to spar with me just to remember me how weak I am and beat me till I cant stand. At first I thought it was normal, I was new and she didn't know me, I believed she just wanted to defend her family. But day passing by I realized that she wasn't defending anyone, she just hate me and have fun seeing me suffer.
After another day spent being insulted and beaten by Natasha I realized that I was tired of all this shit. As soon as I'm done with the training I run to my room without caring about Wanda running after me and close the door. All the bad things said by the widow come to my mind "you're weak" "do you really think you're worth working here with us?" "you're no one". Without realizing it I start crying and sob, I'm tired of being pushed down, I wanna go back to my old life with my old friends that respect me not beat me. I take a decision,I'm going away. I take the suitcase and start throwing my things into it while thinking of an escape plan.
By dinner time all my things were packed and I had come out with a good plan, I'll escape tonight while everyone is sleeping leaving behind a note to explain myself.
In order to not arouse suspicion I decide to go to dinner where I'm greeted by an angry and worried Wanda.
WANDA: Look who decided to show up! I was worried, you practically runned out of the gym in tears. What happened (y/n/n)?
(Y/N): The usual Wanda. I'm tired of her treating me like shit. Plus the fact that I have a major crush on her doesn't help.
WANDA: Wait, you have a crush on the girl that wants you death?!
(Y/N): For God sake Wanda don't shout!
WANDA: Sorry.
(Y/N): I've always had a crush on her and at first I believed that she could love me back, but I was a fool for believing that.
WANDA: I'm so sorry (y/n/n).
She hugged me for a while making me feel safe and loved and then we walk to the table and start eating with the other.
The only noise that fills the room right now is the chewing of food, that's so awkward usually during the meal everyone chat and laugh, but today everyone is quiet and busy sharing worried looks.
(Y/N): Is everything ok?
NATASHA: Sure thing love.
I spit the water into the plate.
(Y/N): Sorry, what?
NATASHA: Are you ok (y/n/n/)?- she stand up and walk to me cupping my face with one of her hands- you seem a little bit pale princess.
I feel my face heat up at the nickname and I start to shutter.
(Y/N): No, youre perfect, I I mean I'm perfectly fine.
NATASHA: Did you all hear her? What did you say about me?
She squished my face more.
(Y/N): No-nothing...
NATASHA: That's better you whore. Don't you dare to hope that I can fall in love with a dumb bitch like you!
I start to tear up, those words hurt me, but she is right, how could I believe that a Goddess like her could love a nobody like me.
NATASHA: Cry baby.
WANDA: Natasha enough! You did your job, you broke her, now let her be!
As soon as Natasha left my face I ran in my bedroom and started crying, hoping that the night will come soon.
TIME SKIP
It's 1a.m. and Im walking down the hall of the tower with my suitcase trying not to make a sound and hoping that Jarvis doesn't notify anyone that I'm escaping. I almost made it to the door when I heard the last person I wanted to hear call my name.
NATASHA: Where are you going?
I take a deep breath and turn around to face her for the last time.
(Y/N): Away. But why do you care Natasha, isn't that what you always wanted?
NATASHA: Wow, easy there (y/n). I never wanted you to leave.
(Y/N): Really Natasha? Then why you insulted me and beaten me every fucking day? Admit it you hate me and you enjoy yourself seeing me suffer!
NATASHA: (y/n) I'm
(Y/N): Dont (y/n) me! You broke me Natasha and right now I want you to let me go so the both of us can be happy.
Natasha looked at me shocked so I took this chance to walk away drying my tears with the sleeve of my hoody. I was almost out of the door when Natasha pulled me by my arm and crushed her lips on mine. I froze.
NATASHA: Now is my time to talk. I didn't mean to hurt you (y/n), never. Is just that the day you walked in this tower I fell in love with you cause you were different from everyone else, and when I realized how I felt about you I got scared and I tried to push you away cause I didn't want to hurt you. But I end up hurting you more.
I'm standing in front of Natasha speechless. Part of me wants to believe me and let her love me, but the other part tells me to walk away without looking back.
(Y/N): How do I know you won't hurt me again?
NATASHA: You don't know. You have to trust me and if you do I promise I'll treat you like you deserve and love you with all my body and soul.
I look at her teary eyes, my heart melts and a smile grows on my lips.
(Y/N): You have a chance Romanoff. But if you hurt me you're dead, got it?
NATASHA: Yes ma'am.
Love you all and be safe
Dasy🥰
113 notes · View notes
technowoah · 3 years
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THESEUS - a dsmp story ( DreamSMP x Queen!Reader)
CHAPTER FIVE : AND I REALIZE THREE FUNDAMENTAL TRUTHS AT THE EXACT SAME TIME.
Chapter Summary: You had gotten what you wanted, but at what cost? Nightmares ensue, and Dream’s true colors begin to show.
pairing: c!wilbur x queen!reader
an// IM BACK!! hopefully yall like this chaper cause this is the last one that I wrote in the past, Im writing chapter 6 rn so it might take a while. Also sorry for not posting requests I really wanted to get this chapter out there
⚠︎ swearing, dsmp spoliers(?), angst, arguing, smoking, explosions, gaslighting(?), not proofread.
Series Masterlist 
"Good job you two! This is all yours now.”
Dream had led you and Eret back to the castle, all of them still battered and bruised from the war they recently had. You had already taken off your armor and now you were wearing underneath your L'Manburg outfit that was torn and burnt showing some of your skin which was also burnt or cut. You had noticed on the way to the castle that Dream had kept on looking at the outfit that Eret and you had on with disgust, like a taunt.
You could finally relax in the huge castle that you apparently deserved because you and Eret had taken the first lives of the citizens of L'Manburg. In your heart you knew that L'Manburg was still a country. They all have two more lives and they will build the country up again with those two lives. You sighed then kept walking into the throne room. you looked at the two big thrones that sat next to each other. One for a king and one for a queen.
"Why are you standing there? Sit down! Relax!" Dream patted one of the thrones.
You and Eret had sat down on the thrones next to each other looking around the huge throne room and Dream smiling right in front of them. Once you both sat down you tried to sit up straight, but you wanted to slump down into the comfy, plush, velvet and gold chair. The two of them sat on velvet and gold thrones while in burnt and torn L'Manburg uniforms. It was a sight to see, and if someone didn't know the context of what just happened, this scene would've made sense to them.
"I'm happy you did this. You deserve all of this." Dream said while walking along the marble floor.
"It's beautiful, but I'm exhausted." You let your head fall to the side. You sighed wanting Dream to leave so you could finally get some rest.
"I bet."
"Eret are you okay?" You spoke up after Dream.
Eret had a look that you couldn't make out. He just stared off into space in his own mind. He shook his head after you called for him again.
"Yeah, yeah I am fine. I'm just thinking." Eret quickly responded.
"What are you thinking about?" Dream said in a monotone voice.
"If we did the right thing." Eret sighed.
You slowly nodded because you were thinking the exact same thing. They were traitors, you had built somewhat of a connection with those people you helped kill. And now what? you're living in a huge castle and apparently you "Shouldn't be feeling this way", Dream claimed.
"You two are overreacting. They are fine." Dream said bluntly while staring at them with a straight face.
That was a huge lie, their lives were taken today. They're not just “fine”.
"You two were never a part of that place anyways. This is your home! Why would you need to wear those hideous colors? They look bad on you, it's unflattering. There is no need to go back." Dream explained.
You hang your head not knowing what to say to the man, there wasn’t really anything to say but you spoke up hoping the words will come to you.
"I don't-"
"You don't have to say anything, it's okay. You're safe now. Did you get hurt?" Dream asked.
The bruises and scars said differently.
"Remember when I said that?" Dream pushed the question.
You rubbed a burn mark on your wrist and laughed a bit. "No! Actually I don't. We're safe now, but that doesn't mean we aren't hurt." You chuckled in disbelief.
"Well maybe if you listened to me you wouldn't be so anxious. If you listened you wouldn't have been so hesitant. You're safe." Dream said sternly.
"Maybe you're tired, Dream. We're all tired. Shall we go to bed?" Eret stood up and held out his hand to help you up from your seat.
You accepted his hand and started to follow Eret through the huge castle making your way through the huge, high ceiling halls. The three walked towards the king's and queen's room in the castle, Dream kept a slower pace and walked behind the two wanting to get one more word in before leaving the castle.
"If you two are ever in doubt just remember that you are on the right side of history." Dream said then turned around to leave the two alone.
You both stopped and turned around to see Dream’s back facing the both of you as he walked away. You and Eret eventually made it to your new bedrooms. There was a big door which held a huge room made for the both of them to sleep in and two separate rooms next to the bigger door which were made for one person. Eret and you stood in front of the bigger door staring at the intricate designs on the door not speaking to each other.
"So?" Eret laughed.
"So!" You exclaimed while chuckling.
"Are you okay sleeping in that huge room tonight?" Eret asked.
"I'm not totally comfortable with that, but it would be weird if we slept in the same bed. Don't get me wrong! You're a great friend, but-"
"Y/N/N stop! I'm okay with that too. I wasn't looking to sleep in the same bed. Yes we're married, but we're just staying friends, hey we might get a divorce later." Eret explained.
"If I do, we won't be king and queen anymore." You said softly to your husband.
"Is that what you want? To be "queen"?" Eret asked while putting air quotes around the word queen.
You paused for a moment then answered his question.
"I don't know where I'm supposed to be, Eret." You looked up at him sadly and he pulled you in for a hug. It took you everything you had to not cry into the L'Manburg uniform Eret was wearing. Today drained you mentally and physically, your hands were raw from shooting arrows, you had burn marks on your skin and your feet hurt from running through the kingdom. You weren’t sure about where you would go, because this didn't feel like your home.
"Let's go to bed and we'll talk in the morning. Rest on it because I'll happily divorce you so you can find your place in this huge kingdom." Eret laughed and let you out of his arms.
You chuckled and then let him go walking into what was supposed to be the queen's room and right next to it was the king's room which they both walked in after saying goodnight and closing their doors finally having time to themselves after a long day.
You finally took off the L'Manburg uniform and laid it on a velvet chair in the corner of the huge room. You stared at the uniform before going to the nearest closet and picking out something to wear for that night. The queen's room was basically the huge couple's room that you found before, but just with a smaller bed. There were still trinkets, jewelry and even clothes in the closet. you took a nightgown out of the closet and sat on the plush bed. You ended up laying down staring at the high ceiling thinking of the predicament Eret's question brought.
You finally retired for the night and crawled into bed and got under the soft covers. The window was open so a soft cool breeze was blowing through the room letting the curtains flow with the breeze. If you left you wouldn't have anywhere to go except back to L'Manburg, they would never let you back even if you tried. They probably hated your guts by now, so maybe divorcing wasn't a good idea. You had a set home here, you had food, clothes, and you weren't under attack every minute. you didn't have to watch your back for any enemies.
Your mind slowed down as you finally lulled yourself into a deep sleep forgetting the troubles in your mind for only a moment.
-------------------
The sunset fell over the horizon making it a gold, red color. It was beautiful. The trees were illuminated and the lakes had a certain glow to them. you could see mobs began to crawl out of the ground and caves, but you was safe up here.
You looked down and saw the familiar obsidian walls. It seemed like a faint memory, but in reality the walls were real. It was like you could feel the stone underneath your feet at this moment. you could see inside L'Manburg.
you saw Tubbo and Tommy laying in the grass talking to one another. you saw Fundy sleeping in the grass next to them. There were two new faces you had never seen before. It was a woman with short pink hair and another man with a shaved head. It might've been your mind putting people in your dreams to fill space. Then you saw Eret sitting by a small river letting his bare feet flow in the water. It was a peaceful scene.
"Beautiful sunset isn't it?" A voice showed up beside you.
It was Wilbur. He had his uniform on, it was clean like the war didn't even happen.
"It is really beautiful." You agreed watching the sun continue to lower over the trees.
"You know everything the sun touches is yours? It's all of ours. It just so happens that you can see the sunset and sunrise from L'Manburg. You can do anything as long as you see the sun rise and fall." Wilbur said, keeping his gaze soft at the sunset.
You hummed but stayed quiet admiring his words and the sunset.
"Let me tell you what I wish I'd known when I was young and dreamed of glory. You have no control who lives, who dies, who tells your story. After you took one of my lives away I understand now. You can't control other people and their motivations."
You hang your head in disappointment, but then Wilbur continued.
"But I know that we can win. I know that greatness lies in you, but remember from here on in that history has its eyes on you. History will forever have its eyes on you no matter what you do." Wilbur looked into your eyes as the sun set on the two of them the stars began to shine.
The light brown eyes Wilbur had turned darker because of the sunlight being gone. You looked out back at the mobs in the forest and the huge towers in the sky made the kingdoms members. you turned around and looked into L'Manburg. Or what was considered L'Manburg.
There was no one there anymore, instead of people there were huge amounts of TNT that filled the walls behind them. you could hear faint voices around them, people that you didn't know. It sounded like chaos. you whipped your head around to Wilbur who was dressed in a brown tattered trench coat, brown pants, and a white shirt instead of the L'Manburg uniform.
He had a cigarette in his mouth and matches in his hands. He smirked at you as the voices around you got louder and your head sounded like you were in the middle of a tornado. your head was buzzing as your eyes couldn't focus on Wilbur in front of you. It felt like these moments were happening right in front of your all at one time.
"You want to be a hero Tommy?"
"You know if I die, this country goes down with me."
"if respect is the only thing protecting you from a knife in the back, then respect is nothing, right?"
"Kill me, Phil. Phil, kill me, Phil kill me! Phil, stab me with the sword, murder me now, kill me! Look-"
"You know Y/N" Wilbur started next to you. He lit a match and turned around to L'Manburg which was now filled with TNT.
"Somethings. Somethings were never meant to be." He threw the match into the huge pile of TNT and all in a second the obsidian underneath your feet disappeared as you fell into the explosion beneath you.
-------------------------
"Fuck! Where am I?!" You shot up from your sleeping position in a cold sweat.
You frantically felt around the bed trying to convince yourself that you were physically at the castle in your bed. You finally caught your breath and laid back down in your bed finding yourself staring at the ceiling again. Even with the window open blowing cool air into the room, your skin still felt hot. You ended up tossing the covers off of you and making your way towards the entrance of the kingdom to get some air.
That dream was so much stuff in it you couldn't comprehend all of it. It was like Wilbur was there as if he was talking to you directly and it wasn't a dream and it made you second guess yourself and think that it may have not been a dream. You finally made it outside and sat on one of the steps that led people up into the kingdom. you sighed and breathed in the fresh air and it immediately relaxed your body and mind. You were alive, you were here and sadly Wilbur wasn't there. You closed your eyes and felt the breeze around you until you were startled by a figure beside you.
"You're up late. I thought you said you were mentally tired." Dream chuckled sitting beside you.
"I had a bad dream." You sighed.
"Hey don't take my name in vain like that" Dream laughed trying to bring up your mood.
Dream sighed and stood back up when he didn't get a response from his companion.
"Come one, let's go. Let's get your mind off of the one bad dream." Dream held his hand out, gesturing to you to take it.
You took his hand and then released it letting him lead the way to wherever the wind may take them. The dream is currently still stuck in your head. The voices from different people confused you and made your head spin.
"You want to be a hero Tommy?" What did that mean? Was someone threatening Tommy? Will someone threaten Tommy? You grew to care for that kid.
Who said "If I die, this country goes down with me"? What country. L'Manburg?
"If respect is the only thing protecting you from a knife in the back, then respect is nothing, right?" That one stumped you the most. you didn't even know if this was being spoken to you or to someone else. All of them except for the Tommy one.
Were they all even dreams? The one that haunted your mind the most was the one where someone was telling a man named Phil to kill them. Were you there for that moment? Did Phil kill the person? Who was Phil? All these thoughts and questions plagued your mind so much that your feet mindlessly carried you wherever Dream led you to.
"Here we are." Dream led You on top of a hill, a tall enough hill to see the main attraction. The place you missed the most, L'Manburg.
Tears started to form in your eyes and you tried blinking them away. All the moments of that dream appeared in your brain, but even stronger. you never felt these emotions before. Maybe L'Manburg was your home all along. you missed seeing Tubbo, Tommy, Eret and Fundy doing their own thing while your and Wilbur had a deep talk inside the van. you had spent weeks with them growing too attached to them and then ended up becoming a traitor.
"That place. You never belonged there. You're too good for them." Dream started and you stayed quiet watching the stars begin to disappear.
"Do you trust me?" Dream asked.
You stayed quiet not having the answer he wanted to hear. He wanted to hear you say that you trusted him when in reality you couldn’t, you weren't fully there yet, not anymore. 
"They lied to you. It's not your home." Dream continued on letting you listen and not talk.
"How did you know if someone said it was my home or not?" You asked, startled.
"I might've been keeping an eye on you. I wanted to make sure my flower was okay." Dream kept his gaze on L'Manburg.
"Stop calling me that." You sighed.
"I never started. This was the first time I said that. Who called you flower?" Dream suddenly got serious, staring at you.
you kept your sights on the obsidian walls, not sparing him a glance. The stars began to fade and the sun peeked over the horizon. As they stayed longer the sun rose over the walls of L'Manburg. You started to remember the words in the dream you had.
"You know everything the sun touches is yours? It's all of ours. It just so happens that you can see the sunset and sunrise from L'Manburg. You can do anything as long as you see the sun rise and fall."
L'Manburg stands for independence. Independence. That word kept ringing through your head like a mantra until a few voices below the hill and near the walls alerted you.
"HEY! Hey Wilbur! Give me back my shit!" Tommy yelled as he stomped after the older man.
"Wilbur get Tommy to stop shouting and give him his swords back please!" Fundy yelled trailing behind the two.
"No not until he learns not to go start stabbing shit!" Wilbur yelled back at the other two.
You missed that. you missed the bickering and the nonsense they all shared. you were upset that Tommy still hadn't learned his lesson and you wished you were there beside them at that moment.
Dream spoke up giving you a look you couldn’t quite get. "You are never allowed to step inside those walls again.
"What gives you the right to tell me what and what not to do? Who does that make you? Who do you think-"
"YOU ARE NEVER ALLOWED TO GO IN THOSE WALLS!" Dream yelled getting dangerously close to you.
You continued to stare at those blue eyes as the bright sun rose over the dark walls of L’Manburg. you didn't say anything but descended down the mountain alone with the sounds of Tommy, Fundy, and Wilbur bickering in the background, wishing you were there and not next to the man next to you who was staring at you angrily.
"I know what’s good for you! I know what's good for this country! Just trust me Y/N!" Dream yelled starting an argument
"Would you calm down! You came here to be all quiet and now you're yelling at me. You might want to be quiet before Wilbur hears you. Or do you want me to get him myself?" You yelled back, getting furious.
"Oh you wish! He doesn't care for you as much as me, Sapnap and George do! They agree as well!"
"Don't put words into his mouth!" You accused
"Oh! So if he cares so fucking much he would've help save you. And do you know what would happen if he saved you?! You would've died! I saved you! You were in a perfect situation and all you had to do is not complain! You're always overreacting." Dream ended with a huff and rolled his eyes while turning away..
you were speechless at this point. Overwhelming emotions consumed you. you couldn't believe you were overreacting. Maybe Wilbur wasn't everything you needed. you were overreacting, you were being selfish too. Dream was right. Dream walked over to you pulling you in a hug with L'Manburg was still in your sights.
"I did everything because I love you. You're too precious for them, you're not for them. They don't deserve you, you deserve someone who wants the best for you. A flower that needs a home and I'm here to give it to you." Dream softly explained.
Your eyes kept tearing up at the words and different emotions flowing through you. The sights on L'Manburg make your memories and questions come back. Where did you belong? But more importantly who was telling the truth?
Taglist: @hi-imuwu @k-l-a-w-s
91 notes · View notes
honeybunnybeez · 3 years
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Hugging you close but it still feels too far
♡Genre:Fluff with angst at the end
♡C!Schlatt x GN!reader
♡Format:Fanfiction
♡Summary: Schlatt feels a headache coming on but thankfully you've come at just the right time to help it go away. Unfortunately, a different kind of ache rears its ugly head.
♡WARNING: Self-loathing thoughts on Schlatt's part.
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"Are you fucking serious right now?" Everyone in the meeting room flinches as Schlatt spits out those words. His glare forces everyone in the room to look down at their laps, not daring to make a single peep as the president starts to slowly lose his temper.
This whole meeting has been quite a mess, with employees coming late and important documents being misplaced and forgotten. Honestly, Schlatt's usually drunk off his rockers 24/7 and yet he's surprisingly the most prepared for this meeting compared to the rest of his staff.
"Y'know what, fuck it, we'll continue this another day, this isn't important right?" It kinda was important but everyone in the meeting room nods along anyway and says that moving it to tomorrow won't exactly make much of a difference. "Good, good, now get the fuck out, all of you, right now."
They don't waste a single second in scrambling to get out of the meeting room and out of Schlatt's sight, fearing the consequences if they were to stay.
Schlatt sighs and leans back into his chair, massaging his temple. He feels a headache coming on, he needs a drink.
"Why is it that everytime I come to visit you at work your employee's always look like they're on the verge of passing out from fright?" Oh, nevermind, maybe he won't need that drink after all, it seems that someone better just popped in.
"Well hello to you too, sugar," Schaltt pushes his chair away from the desk, looking up at you with a giant grin. "Lock the door behind you, will you?"
(Read more placed, heavy self-loathing thoughts under the cut.)
You roll your eyes but do as your told, the door clicks shut and Schlatt lets out a sigh, opening his arms out wide.
"...Really? Here?" You can't help but be a little suprised by his action, knowing how he likes to keep the 'mushy shit' on the down low.
"I have a reputation to uphold, sugar," you remember him saying to you countless of times whenever you tried to get physically closer to him in public, "and I can't let that be ruined by all of this soft and sweet bullshit, understand?"
"Are you sure?" You feel like you're being fooled right now, this feels very out of character for him, and truthfully it is, even he feels weird doing this, but a part of him is aching for you and all he can think of is having you by his side.
"...Please..." ugh, you hate and love it when he used his manners, it always made you give into what he wanted way quicker than you should. Deciding that second guessing won't do anything you give him what he wants, sitting on his lap and letting him gently headbutt your cheek and under your chin.
"Do the thing I like," he demands, resting his head on your chest. When you don't move quick enough for his liking, he takes matters into his own hands quite literally by grabbing your hand and placing it on top of his head. He lets out a satisfied groan when he feels you running your fingers through his hair, helping him soothe his headache with your gentle touches.
"I'm pretty sure if your employee's could see you now, they'd probably stop being so scared shitless of you knowing that you like to be pet," you can't help but tease him as you watch his face shift into one of absolute bliss as you kiss his temple and hold him closer to you.
"I will bite your jugular clean off if you tell a single soul about this, you hear me?" As if to prove a point, he presses a hard kiss to where your jugular should be, tickling you a little with his facial hair.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say Mister President."
After a while of your gentle carasses, he lets out a big yawn, his grip on your waist loosening and his eyes growing heavy as you continue to massage the top of his head carefully. He starts to ask himself when was the last time he properly cuddled with you back home in the safety of your shared bed, it's probably been ages.
'Maybe I should change that,' a distant part of him thinks.
'You keep saying that idiot, but literally nothing ever changes, if anything you keep getting WORSE.'
...Oh, fuck no. It's starting again, those stupid thoughts of his that whisper in the back of his head everytime he finally has a moment of silence with you. He just wants one day without them, one day of just letting you love him like you're supposed to, is that so much to fucking ask for?
'You keep asking for way to much, ever notice that?'
'They love you enough but do you ever show them that you love them back?'
'Fucking useless, it's only a matter of time before they start seeing you that way too.'
God, he wants them to shut up, please just shut the fuck up. Please-
"Hey," he jolts slightly when your voice shakes him out of his aggressive growing thoughts, "getting tired there, princess?"
He wants to argue with you that he isn't sleepy at all and to never call him princess again but as another yawn escapes him, he decides that maybe a nap isn't the worse thing in the world right now and that pet name argument could always be brought up another time. He doesn't verbally respond to you, choosing instead to nuzzle closer into your chest and shutting his eyes.
"Don't even think of leaving me alone here before I wake up, (y/n)," it's more of an order than a threatening warning with how sleepily he slurs his words. If you weren't practically on him at the moment, you swear that you wouldn't have been able to make out his mumbling demand.
"Of course I won't, you big baby." You struggle to stiffle a small laugh when you hear him groan and lazily hit your arm at the affectionate insult. "I'll always be here by your side for as long as you want me to."
He can never stop his heart from aching whenever he hears you say such sincere words like it's practically second nature to you. Why is every part of you so genuine and why does it hurt him much more than it should whenever you do anything remotely loving to him like he deserves it. Maybe that's why he doesn't always come home to you like he's supposed to.
'You don't fucking deserve any of this,' a sudden thought of his screams, causing his heart to jump. His fingers grip onto your shirt for a moment by instinct when he feels that thought linger longer than it should have.
"Hey, you okay-?"
"Fine!" He cuts you off quickly before you can properly finish your sentence. "I'm- I'm fine, it's just the usual shakes. Im going to sleep so kindly shut the fuck up, alright?"
He doesn't give you room to respond as he nuzzles even harder against your chest and goes back to closing his eyes. He tries to steady his thoughts again and after awhile he thinks he's finally succeeds in doing so. He can feel himself slowly starting to drift off but before he can do so, the light brush of lips can be felt on his temple. He knows what this usually leads to and he silently pleads for those words to not spill from your lips but of course they do, they always do.
"I love you."
Schlatt knows that any hope for a dreamless slumber is lost as his heart and head fills up with guilt like it always did when you held him back home, whispering sweet nothings to him thinking you were lulling him to sleep when instead you were only fueling the thoughts in his head to shout at him louder and louder.
He constantly scolds and reminds himself that all of this isn't worth it, that he should just end things with you now to stop the constant cycle of personal torment, but Schlatt's never been known for being a rational person who cares about the well being of others, and it seems that it translates to himself as well. Really, as angry as he wants to be with you for all the heartache you cause him, he knows that there's truly no one else to blame for his pain but himself.
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A/N: Will I ever be able to write c!Schlatt content without making it sad? Apparently not- ^^' I just really love angst when it comes to him. Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed reading this!
(Requests are open and anon is on!)
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xpeachesncream · 3 years
Text
perfectly wrong | one
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summary: there were rules that had to be followed: no one could know about you two, there was no ‘getting to know each other,’ and there was absolutely no emotional attachment allowed. if this could be done, there should be no complications. but somehow, the rules always get bended.
pairing: reader x fuckboy!kth
genre: college au | fluff, angst, smut
words: 2301
chapter warnings: cussing, mature language, very slight angst, some hints of jealousy, alcohol consumption
notes: pls remember that this is set a few months after you and tae have been going at it, so it will seem like things are happening a bit fast. i’m not trying to prolong this series. also most importantly, i tend to usually write shorter chapters > shorter, but more chapters published. enjoy!
> series masterlist <
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Jungkook decided he was going to see if he could jump over your couch and land perfectly in a seated position.
"Wait, wait, wait. Absolute silence everybody." He says as he's stretched over, trying to estimate the timing and height of his jump. He had always been super athletic and competitive since you two were small, so there was really no changing his mind on this. He always had to prove something, even if that meant creating his own competition of jumping over the couch.
"It's just me and you." You watched him from the kitchen, making sure the pizza in the oven was baking properly.
"I have an audience, okay? Don't be rude, Y/N." He says as he points over to the fake audience clapping and laughing during a 'Friends' episode.
"Whatever, as long as you don't go breaking my shit, Jeon Jungkook." He was 22, but his mentality was 8. That was for damn sure.
"Siiiiiiilence." He says at a whisper, his eyes shut as he puts a finger to his mouth. He lets out a huff and a puff before he gets the courage to throw himself over the couch and land a perfect landing. "And once again, he sticks the landing!" He stands up with his hands up in the air.
"You're annoying." You laughed, getting paper plates ready for the pizza that was about to be done because you were in no mood to do any dishes tonight.
"Thank you! I'll be here again tomorrow, same time." He calls out to his fake audience.
"No the hell you're not."
"Ouch, nevermind. Someone apparently doesn't want me here." You laugh at how dramatic he is. At this point, you just let him be because that was something you always loved about your bestfriend. He embraced the kid in him and always brought good times. You had similarities, but you also had some major differences. You liked being in your comfort zone & you were labeled the innocent nerd amongst your friends. You just like to consider yourself simple, though. A 'take it day by day' kind of person. Kookie was fun, adventurous and childish at times. He was also shy, but loud at the same time? An introverted extrovert, you could say.
But you loved each other nonetheless, that's why you've clicked so well since you were young. You taught each other things & grew together.
"Here, fool." You placed the pizza in front of him with the paper plates.
"Set it up, I'll grab us the drinks. You want anything in particular?"
"That bottle of Stella Rosa, please." JK knew you loved that Stella Rosa, so he happily grabs the bottle and two wine glasses. He plops back next to you on the couch, pouring your glasses and grabbing a heaping serving of 4 slices of pizza.
You both decided you want a good laugh, so you throw on Kevin Hart's newest installment: Zero Fucks Given. It isn't long before you both are rolling on the floor, almost gasping for air at how much you're laughing at Kevin Hart's stand up. The pizza is gone, the wine is gone, and you're still feeling pretty tipsy. The whole thing sounds nice, until your head starts to wonder what Taehyung is doing and if he'll text you to come over tonight. You know he probably already has plans with another chick though, and that hits you.
Curse this fucking alcohol.
Let's get this straight - the only time you 'talk' is when he's trying to fuck.
And yes bitch, you let him do this to you. You're out that door before you can even fully slip your shoes on. Dick is just that good. It's something about Taehyung that makes you addicted. The way he gives you a stupid ass smirk when he opens his door, the way he touches your skin and gently lays his shit on you until you both become really invested in the moment. So invested that shit hits the roof. It gets messy. It gets rough. It becomes unspeakable.
You aren't friends. No one knows about you two, or that you even know the other exists. You don't know shit about each other. The only thing you know is that he's fucking other girls. He has a whole roster, you'd imagine - a starting five, at least.
He doesn't care about you, and for the most part, you don't either. At least, that's what you like to portray because it's been some months now since this whole thing started and you can't help but feel some kind of emotional tie to him. You're leaving your house between 12-2am in the morning and sleeping in his bed until 6-7am. It's a routine; a routine you've become used to. You skip out on some late night kick-its with your friends cause you anticipate a text to come through from him.
But, he doesn't care. You aren't the only female slipping into those sheets, and boy does it fucking make it hard to swallow. Reality hits hard when you think about it and you feel this huge pit in your stomach. You try to be different, you try to stand out one way or another. But it doesn't work that way. You knew what this entailed going into it, so it makes zero sense as to why you're hurting and getting jealous from time to time.
You know it still doesn't matter to him.
He's only fucking you over cause you let him. You know damn well you're not gonna change and let this go, though. You love thrill of it too much. It's the most thrill your life has had. You're not perfect and you're only human. You make mistakes, but this one definitely puts the cherry on top. Because not only do you refuse to learn, but you let it repeat itself over and over again.
"Aishhhh, my stomach hurts from laughing too much." Jungkook laid his head back and patted his belly. "But that was good though. I needed that."
"Yeah it was. Thanks for coming by to watch that with me, Kook." He tilts his head over to look at you and smiles.
"Sure thing." He checks his phone and sits up. "Yoongi is blowing up the group chat." You check your phone to see multiple unread messages from none other than Min Yoongi himself.
[yoongi] 10:37pm: aye
[yoongi] 10:45pm: all of a sudden, everyone is ghost in this group chat?! you all had a lot to say not too long ago.
[yoongi] 10:52pm: even though you guys are fake as fuck, does anyone wanna come with me to the bars tonight? meet at my place so we can head out.
You and Jungkook laughed at how butthurt Yoongi was in the groupchat. Yoongi definitely was the most serious and blunt one in your group, but he still liked to party and have a good time. It was just how he was. Hoseok was always full of energy and probably the most extroverted one out of all 4 of you. He was never shy. You and Jungkook met Yoongi and Hoseok your first year in college and became inseparable ever since. You all just click with your different attributes.
[jungkook] 10:53pm: lmaoooooooo
[yoongi] 10:53pm: fuck you dude lol
[jungkook] 10:54pm: i'll come through in a sec, i'm at y/n's right now. not sure if she's gonna come though?
[y/n] 10:55pm: i'll pass, i'm tired and wined out.
[hoseok] 10:55pm: ahahahah yoongi shut up, blowing up my phone for no reason. i'm passing on tonight too. im tired from working that overtime *cries*
[yoongi] 10:56pm: you both are boring. i'm especially offended at how i didn't get an invite to your little powwow, y/n. and now you don't wanna hang out?
[hoseok] 10:57pm: she mentioned she was going to watch kevin hart's thing yesterday and offered us to swing by if we wanted to though....... selective hearing, maybe?
[y/n] 10:58pm: ^ okayyyyy and that's on period! thank you hobi <3
[hoseok] 10:59pm: anything for the baby
[yoongi] 10:59pm: lmao you're a brat, y/n. whatever, i'm still hurt by you both! kook, hurry on over so we can drink
"Fuck I regret this, I'm gonna die." Jungkook laughed as he stood up and stretched. He quickly helped you clean up before he figured it was time to go or else Yoongi would have a fit.
"I feel like it has to do with that one girl he's been talking to on and off."
"Perhaps." Jungkook shrugged before putting on his shoes. "We shall see." he sighs before giving you a tight hug. "You sure you don't wanna come out?"
"Nope."
"You don't even have plans tonight."
"Yes I do."
"Doing what?"
"Laying in bed." Jungkook snorted as you shook your head and shrugged. What else did he think you were trying to do? He should know you by now, at the very least.
"Alright, I'm not even going to argue. I'm off."
"Be safe, have fun, text me if you both need anything, okay?" He nods as he shuts the door, leaving you to your lonesome. You swirled the teeny tiny drop of wine leftover in your glass around before picking up your phone.
No new texts. Well, let's be specific: no new texts from taehyung.
You did forget to respond to your oldest cousin though, when he was just trying to check up on you.
[seokjin] 8:35pm: pssst y/n
[seokjin] 8:35pm: psssssssssst
[seokjin] 8:35pm: oyyyyyyyyyy
He was damn near 30 years old and hated talking on the phone so much that he decides to blow up your phone this way. But, he was the cousin you loved dearly and you had a very tight, sibling-like relationship with him. He was like the older brother you've always wanted. He watched you grow, protected you, kept you safe, supported you and cheered you on - especially when your family talked so much shit about how you and him weren't gonna get anywhere with your goals. You know, the fucking stupid ol' saying of 'chasing your passion isn't going to bring you money & wealth.' Your family was all about the titles and money, but Jin was passionate about cooking and wanted to open his own cafe. You, on the other hand, wanted to pursue your art. Jin was the biggest role model for you because he was the first to defy your family's wants and wishes. He was the black sheep of the family with a huge 'I don't give a fuck' mentality and he taught you that along the way.
Don't ever be afraid to do what you're passionate about. Fuck 'em.
[y/n] 11:13pm: hi sorry, jungkook was over and we were watching kevin hart's new thing on netflix over some wine and pizza.
[seokjin] 11:15pm: that sounds fun! sorry, i just wanted to check on you but i see you're doing okay lol
[y/n] 11:16pm: i am. :) i'll hang out with you tomorrow
[seokjin] 11:16pm: how sweet, my freeloading baby cousin is coming by
[y/n] 11:17pm: hahahah shut up! although you're not wrong, i am going to steal some food. but most importantly, i do want to hang out and see my bestest oppa <3
[seokjin] 11:18pm: awww y/n, you're so full of shit <3
[seokjin] 11:18pm: go to bed
[y/n] 11:19pm: haha love you tooooo
And so, that's what you did. You got yourself all ready for bed, believing you wouldn't be leaving your house tonight. You pampered yourself, put on a face mask and got yourself all lathered up in lotion just to lay down. You're in Jungkook's shirt that he left behind (and never looked for, so technically it's yours now) when the guys had stayed the night and some Vicky Secret panties.
You're scrolling through your Instagram feed, seeing Jungkook's newly posted story with him and Yoongi already at the bars, acting a damn fool. You laughed at the video he took of Yoongi trying to dance in a tight, awkward space on the crowded dance floor even though he was never the best at dancing. It lowkey made you wish you went out with them so you wouldn't be stuck here thinking about your feelings and how lonely these hours get.
And then you see Jimin's story from an hour ago. He knew you were friends with Yoongi, and although Yoongi wasn't fond of their group too much, he was still an avid party-goer and mingled with people there. You've only spoken to Jimin once because you had to work with him in the same group on a class assignment. You tried to keep it that way though because he was Taehyung's bestfriend. They went everywhere together, did everything together. He, too, was very popular among the ladies and across campus. I guess it was just their thing.
You assume they were at a party cause Jimin quickly flashes the camera at Taehyung, who's in front of him getting a lapdance from some chick. Jimin quickly turns the camera back to his face as he's laughing uncontrollably then abruptly cuts it off.
Great.
She's forsure going home with him tonight.
You set your phone down on the night stand and put on a show on your laptop to help you fall asleep.
Just as you're about to get some shut eye, your phone vibrates. You let it slip at first because you thought it could be one of the guys playing around, but it vibrates again, signaling another text coming through. You pick up your phone just to make sure Yoongi and Jungkook aren't in any trouble and need you to bail their asses out.
[taehyung] 12:17am: hey
[taehyung] 12:20am: come over.
You scoff at how he assumes you're still up and that you'd be coming over. You hated that. He knew he just had your ass.
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track two: hit different - sza & ty dolla $ign
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its-me-im-coraline · 3 years
Text
Peculiar and Beautiful // Victoria De Angelis
words // 1333
warnings // angsty but also fluffy
pairing // Victoria De Angelis x GN!Reader
author's note // if you want to be on the tag list let me know besties, don't forget the 'sleepover' on sunday (yes i'll be saying it on every fucking post lol) and yeah, that. also, a little complaining moment from me, im currently in sooooo much pain, my tooth hurts, i got neuralgia on a tooth and ljajakjfa so if this seems high to you it means im on meds for that lol unlucky few days anywaaaays enjoy to revive yourselves from the teasers of iwbys video
request // yes, here
summary // Reader finds themself in a emotional rut. A few comments online, the constant youtube recommendations on how to be “perfect” have been making them feel some type of way, hiding away from the one person that can help them; Victoria
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It was a consistent thing and that was the issue. The comments about what Victoria did and did not deserve, who she should be with, the constant shipping with Damiano… And then there were the absolutely random videos on youtube, indirectly telling them what and who they should become, at least according to all those people online. It took less than expected to cave into the vicious lies surrounding their daily life. Although they tried to take control over the situation the absence of Victoria did nothing to improve the rut they were in at the moment.
Her presence tends to be a reassuring thing to her lover. Words need not be spoken, all problems can be hidden, but the moment they look each other in the eye everything is resolved. Understandably, Victoria missing from the equation in the moment made matters far worse than Y/N could imagine.
The self depreciation came in waves. At first it was that they looked “off” next to Victoria, as if for some reason they didn’t please the eye aesthetically when together. It was a comment that was shared around a lot. They did not believe it at first until their brain led them into looking through all the couple’s photos… Maybe they are right, they would mumble before closing the phone and continuing their work.
After that stage came the personal attack. Why don’t I look good next to her? Must be my looks. Agh, if I didn’t look like that… Whenever they passed through a mirror or reflective surface they’d stare at themselves to see how they looked, whether they looked bad or decent. Never gave enough credit to themselves, sometimes not even believing Victoria when mentioning the beauty she was lucky enough to hold in her arms. Always something about being independent and not needing anyone to make them feel valuable due to their looks. Simple and plain stubbornness.
Victoria took not too long to notice how something was off with her lover. At first, she gave not too much attention to it, knowing how both missed each other and knowing how tired they were from work. But, as days passed by she could simply not ignore the situation anymore. She first saw something was off when talking to Y/N on the phone, seeing how they did not exactly respond to her jokes and comments as they usually would. Again, she wrote it off as tiredness, missing her, just as she missed them but it was far more than that. After a while they started cancelling some of their facetime call time, saying different things about having bad days at work and, although, she believed them does not mean she was not worried out of her mind. The more that kept happening the more Victoria kept stressing. Not few were the times she’d end up falling onto Damiano’s bed and almost crying with worry.
“Why don’t you tell them to take some time off? Reckon they said their boss owes them some time off work.” And he was right. The answer to the pair’s misery was there all along and she simply had not seen it.
Victoria wasted no time, rushing to get to her phone and arrange everything. Surprisingly enough, dealing with Y/N’s boss turned out to be the easier part of the whole ordeal. The real struggle coming to persuading them about it.
“Oh come one, cucciolo, I know you want to see me-”
“I do want to Victoria, but I can not. I have work.” Lies, lies, lies. They knew they were lying, work wasn’t their trouble in the moment.
“Dealt with! You have a few days of work. Your boss was surprisingly real nice about it.” They could practically hear the smile the beautiful woman wore on her face but they could not keep their response at bay.
“What?! What did you do?!”
“You sound unhappy…”
“I am not, but Victoria why did you do this before talking to me?”
“Because…” she sighed.
“You are tired, I miss you and you are stubborn. Plus, I wanted to surprise you. I thought it’s be a good surprise... Am I wrong?”
“No, no! It’s great. When is the ticket for?” Everyone knows Y/N can never say no to Victoria, even the girl knows of her partner’s weakness, targeting it with her adorableness at times in order to get them to do something like buy her fries or in this case take a break. But Y/N was not worried about Victoria’s influence on them, or rather not that influence. They were out of this world worried about how little time it was going to take Vic to see their insecurities, maybe she’d even agree with them, they thought.
The first night of being by Vic was pretty normal, just as it was back at home, full of cuddles and kisses and all the children shows and movies playing in the background while the bassist recited all her adventures to her lover.
“And Thomas just felt face first onto the pavement! Can you believe it?!” Y/N laughed lightly, eyes fluttering in an attempt to focus on the woman in front of them and head lazily hang on the pillow by the headboard.
“Are you feeling alright, amore?” She asked, voice soft as she caressed the other person’s cheek.
“Yes, love, just a bit tired.”
“It’s alright, let’s sleep. You had a tiring flight, I get it.” Y/N simply mumbled a thank you, kissing the blonde’s forehead before pulling her close in order to sleep.
Unfortunately, the momentary bliss did not last long. After being seen together people started talking and Y/N returned to the previous thought pattern, this time getting deeper into their insecurities. They felt like they were not enough for Victoria so, while trying to not be suspicious they started distancing themselves from her. They would avoid kisses, get away way to soon for both their liking, sleep early, sleep-in… No matter what they stayed away from too much interaction with Victoria, and she was getting sick of it.
Finding them walking down the hallway from the stairs to their hotel room, Victoria rushed to her partner, making sure to get in the room with them quickly, before they had the chance to hide away - again.
“You are ignoring me,” she simply stated, voice stern but never elevated.
“O-of course not, what are you on about?!” Voice was trembling and eyes were looking everywhere but the exasperated blonde.
“Yes -agh- yes you are! You were all over me when you came here, which I’m not complaining about, and then the next day you all but slept in the tab to avoid me! What is going on, Y/N?” The use of their name might have stung just a little bit, enough to make them talk. They always got worried when Victoria went all first name basis rather than cute pet names.
“I-” they hesitated for a second but the strict look on the woman’s face made them continue.
“People talk, Victoria.”
“About what? What does-”
“About us and you and me… It’s always how I am not a good fit and other things like that and maybe they are right.”
“You don’t seriously believe that, do you?”
“Of course I believe that! Look at you, Vic, you are perfect and me? Well, I am me.”
“And that’s exactly why we are together. Because you are you! Y/N, you being who you are is why I fell for you. Your little quirks, those strong characteristics you get insecure about are literally what make you who you are, that individualize you.”
“Really?” They asked with hesitation, fearing the chance of her lying.
“Of course, cucciolo. I love those things that make you different. Reminds me that there is no other one like you and it simply makes me longing for you more,” she praised while leaving kisses all over their neck.
“I simply love you.”
tag list: @bieberhoodforever @tabi-toast @ginny-lily @moriro-da-regina
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beomglocks · 3 years
Text
argus limited ; k.th
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summary : the sweet man on the train is not all that he seems or you meet taehyun on a train and he flirts with you until you realize what he’s really up to
pairing : gangleader!taehyun x reader
warnings & other : this was a dream i had, i literally just typed this all up so sorry if there’s mistakes, mention of blood
w/c : 1.7K
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the train is quiet save for the clinking of glasses, hushed conversations, and the metal gears of the train churning every so often.
you look outside at the snowy mountains and landscape. it makes you feel out of place since you're sitting inside a cozy wooden booth with your most elegant attire on.
it was somewhat mandatory for guests of the argus limited to be dressed accordingly since this train was very exclusive and reserved for wealthy people only. you're lucky yeonjun managed to get you a train ticket to go visit him in argus.
you hadn't even known he was staying there until he had brought you a ticket and sent it to your phone. the only message along with it being a simple, "hey baby im back! come visit me ;)" cheeky bastard.
you fiddle with your fingers, having nothing better to do on this incredibly long train ride. argus was miles away from your hometown so the journey took several hours and the train ride had just started around 2 hours ago. since you had to go through several different terrains it wasn't like your cellphone had much use seeing as there was no reception.
"excuse me miss?" you hear someone say. you tear your eyes away from the snowy desert to see a very handsome man. he had a piercing gaze and stark blonde hair. he was wearing a suit that screamed wealth and had an intimidating aura.
"do you mind if i join you?" he says as he takes a seat anyway. you sigh, looking back towards the frosty window. the guy doesn't speak for a while but you can tell he's watching you. you don't pay him any mind, not too interested with partaking in conversation.
he clears his throat, "what's a pretty woman like you doing all alone on a train like this?" you let out a silent laugh at his attempt at flirting. you don't answer his question, simply humming with a smile on your face.
"where might this pretty lady be headed towards?" he tries again.
you decide to humor him for the time being. it's not like you've got much else to do on this train. "im headed to argus," you answer. he grins at hearing your voice.
"argus? meeting someone?"
"yes, i am," you smile.
"a boyfriend?" he asks, more and more intrigued by you by the second. you raise your eyebrow at him. "i'll let you speculate that," you decide to tease.
he chuckles, satisfied with your answer. "where are you headed?" you ask him, feeling like it's only fair to know about him as well. he subtly darts his eyes around the train before answering, "just beyond argus actually."
"from your attire, im guessing business reasons?" you say. he smiles, showing off his pearly teeth, "i'll let you speculate that."
he waves his hand to let the waiter know to come to your booth. "bring your finest wine," the man demands. the waiter nods and goes off.
"you drink?" you ask. you look him over once again. he does seem like the powerful businessman type so you wouldn't be surprised if he did. "only when im around pretty women," he says smoothly. you roll your eyes at his flirtatious remark, "you must be a drunkard then."
"i'm quite the nephalist actually," he crosses his arms on the table, looking at you. "so why the wine if you don't like to drink?" you deadpan.
"well im rarely ever around pretty women like you," he shrugs. the wine comes to your table and you can tell it's very expensive just from looking at it. you let the waiter pour both your glasses before speaking up again.
"what, you don't hire women at your company?" you don't know why you ask him this but you do. you're interested by this mysterious man and if he's going to be accompanying you for the rest of the train ride then you might as well learn more about him while you can.
"my company?" he laughs lightly taking a sip of the wine. "i do...though they're not the classiest." he hums looking at his cup. you sigh, not really caring to look into the specifications of what he's talking about. "what's your name anyways?" you ask.
he smiles again, "taehyun." you nod off looking back outside. "mine is y/n."
taehyun chuckles, "can i assume that's your real name?" you look back at him with an eyebrow raised. "why would i use a fake name?"
he nods with a smile on his face and his hands up in a defensive manner. "in my company that's what we do. i trust you with my real name though."
you frown, looking away. you're starting to get weird vibes from taehyun. he hasn't done anything weird per se however you get the feeling that he's a sketchy man.
you start to hear footsteps approach your table and when you look up you see a tall man with dark hair standing next to taehyun. he looks at you then at taehyun and leans down to whisper in his ear. taehyun stares at you the whole time while he listens to whatever is being said to him.
"ah i see," he says out loud. the man stands straight again and bows to you awkwardly and walks away. "looks like this," he gestures between you both. "has to be cut short."
"is something wrong?" you take a sip of the wine and swirl it around the cup, never taking your eyes off him. he fixes his suit and takes another sip of wine. "a minor issue with our luggage." is all he says. he winks at you when he stands up and proceeds to walk away in the same direction as the man.
you take a deep breath when he leaves. you feel like you've been holding it in all this time. taehyun feels like a really intimidating man and you don't know why you feel that way. maybe it's the way he speaks or the way he carries himself. you can't put your finger on it but there's something up with him.
you lean your head on your palm, looking outside again. you really miss yeonjun and you can't wait to see him, the mere thought of being with him again makes you giddy. it's unfortunate you can't call or text him right now but once you get to argus you already know the first thing you're doing with him.
some time passes and once you realize it it's dark outside. the train employees have dimmed the lights of the carts and lit some candles for a more homey feel and you can't lie, you like it. it makes the train feel more elegant than it already is.
you stand up to go back to your room which you're glad yeonjun brought you. there are parts of this train that are merely for everyday train riders and parts that are for people traveling much longer distances. the ones who travel from town to town are able to book rooms and that's exactly what yeonjun did for you.
you rub your eyes a little since the wine made you a bit drowsy but not tired to the point where you would be able to k.o. at the sight of your bed. you bump into someone along the way and quickly apologize for not looking. "y/n," you hear taehyun's voice. you look up and sure enough there he is.
you suddenly feel cramped in this small corridor. the corridor is only meant for one person at a time to get to their rooms however you and taehyun are standing face to face and your back is against someone else's door.
"oh taehyun, i was just about to go back to my room." you don't point in which direction because frankly, you don't want him to know where you'll be staying for the rest of the night. he places his hands at your waist and you're about to tell him to get his hands off you when he speaks up, "already? the night's still young," he laughs heartily.
you laugh dryly already feeling uncomfortable with his presence. "yeah well.." you trail off when you see something on his suit jacket. "what's that?"
you point at a red mark on his suit and he follows your gaze with a frown. he wipes it with his finger and inspects it as if he's clueless as to what the red substance could be too. "that's odd..im not sure," he says. he wipes it away and looks at you with a weird gaze, quietly telling you to drop it.
if you were feeling uncomfortable before, well you're certainly feeling unsettled now. you clear your throat and wiggle away from his light grasp on your waist. "well taehyun, it was nice seeing you again. im going to sleep so i guess i'll be seeing you for the last time when the train stops at argus?" you smile trying to draw away any tension.
he nods off, "right, i'll be seeing you off for argus in a couple of hours." he places his hand on his neck and cracks it, you flinch involuntarily and hope he doesn't notice.
it's silent for a moment, just like earlier. the only sounds being glasses clinking, hushed conversations, and the trains gears churning.
"sleep tight y/n," he finishes the conversation with an easy smile. you smile back and walk off towards your room. once you step in, you breathe heavily as if you'd just been drowned and came back for air. what's with that guy? now you really can't wait to get off this train.
you sit on your bed and think back to the interaction you just had. that red mark was definitely blood. it was too dark to be the wine you both were just drinking otherwise you would've pointed it out earlier. was he bleeding or was it from something or someone else?
you really don't want to dwell on it for much longer or else you'll force yourself to dig deeper into just who this taehyun is. for now, you simply let yourself take a nap for the rest of the journey to argus. you don't even let yourself dream of the strange man. you dream of seeing your boyfriend after months of waiting and finally getting to be with him.
and you don't even realize the hushed voices coming from just outside your door.
236 notes · View notes
ms-indifferwnt · 3 years
Text
I’m Cold
“I'm cold"
"And?"
"Can't you give me your jacket or something?"
"Can't you accept my proposal and marry me already?"
In which Prince Donghyuck's parents are forcing him to get married and he decided to propose to the first girl he sees to shut his parents up
Genre: Prince!Lee Donghyuck x Maid!Reader, Angst, Fluff, Arranged Marriage (kinda), Slowburn
Warnings: Curse words, Suggestive (I'll add more if there are)
Notes: Chapter 5 of Im Cold. Sorry this one took longer, hope you guys enjoy
WORD COUNT: 2.4k
Prev / Chapter 5 / Next
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"We'll take it" The Prince starts and Y/n looks at him in shock
"My Prince, er Donghyuck we don't have to," She starts and looks at herself in the mirror "This isn't necessary"
He raises an eyebrow and shakes his head while he readjusted his sitting position "I promised you we'd go shopping so we're going shopping" he eyes her and shakes his head "I don't like that," he looks to the sales lady "Get me a darker color of that exact dress"
"Donghyuck!"
He smiles and playfully copies her tone "Y/n" He crosses his arms "Let me spoil you, besides didn't I tell you to take advantage of me?" He asks
"You're the prince"
"Which is exactly why you have to do so, I would be very disappointed otherwise" He looks to the side and bowed his head at the sales lady with the different colored dress "Try this one" he hands it off to her and she furrows her eyebrows not taking the dress "Put this on willingly or I help you put it on?"
You blinked "You're kidding" you dared and stood your place
"Alright," He says moving to lead you inside the changing room "I'll help you change"
Only for you to yelp and grab the dress "I'll change, I'll change, stop it" walking inside the changing room, wearing the dress he has given her, it was a maroon colored wrap dress, with sleeves that reach her wrists an a skirt a couple of inches higher than her knees.
She walked out, showing the prince the latest dress he has picked out for her and received a shocked reaction from the prince. He knows that the wrap dress would look beautiful on her since he has seen her wear that dress and he has asked for a darker color but, Oh My God, she looked beautiful, the dress was absolutely perfect for her, he trailed his eyes down her body,  and then nods
"We'll take it" He says to the sales lady and points at it "that is my favorite dress, wear it for tonight"
She raises an eyebrow in confusion "What's gonna happen tonight?"
He smiles and shakes his head "Nothing, now change back then lets go get jewelry"
"Your highness-" She started and stayed in place
"Go, Y/n" He ushers and smiles "then we can get ice cream"
"You're highness you're not allowed with too much sweets"
"Then I won't eat, you will, besides I love sweets"
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Arriving back at the palace Y/n and the prince (mostly Y/n) was exhausted and excited to just lie in bed and be on her phone and just be by herself, today was too eventful for her liking
"Then I decided to bathe my pink turtle-" He replies when he notices the the female wasn't paying attention to him anymore and was proven right when she nodded
He rolls his eyes ,"Y/n" He calls and snaps his fingers infront of her face "Wakey-wakey?"
She blinks and bows in apology once the prince was able to hold her down to reality "Sorry, I was thinking"
He nods "its fine, I tired you out didn't I?" He chuckles "You should rest, you're gonna need it for the days to come. I'll wake you myself for dinner, so don't worry about it" He leads her to her room, assuring her as he holds her hand.
Once the Prince leaves her room she picks out a change of comfortable clothes and collapsed on the bed. She has been a maid for quite a while but today has left her exhausted, she feels absolutely drained, she was thankful for the rest she was about to have
She couldn't help but think about the Prince and the early encounters, was he always that protective? She shifts and hugs one pillow, remembering that moment when the Prince was furious that he almost did something he might regret, If she wasn't there, something must've happened
"Lets go get Ice-cream"
She blinks and smiles, He did nothing today but buy her cake, clothes, jewelry, and Ice cream. The Prince made sure she was comfortable and not left out, he would be a wonderful King, She sighs and closes her eyes, her thoughts and dreams being plagued by the beautiful sun kissed boy "And when the two weeks are over, we go our separate ways"
She doesn't know why, or what makes this feeling so strong but all of a sudden she hates herself
Donghyuck sat crossed legged in the tea room as his parents spoke to him about his day and his chosen benefactors, it was boring and he barely listened,  his hands moved to play with his watch, a habit he has developed after Prince Chenle gave him a watch on his thirteenth birthday, speaking of that, Chenle's birthday is coming up, Donghyuck should really think of a present for the guy. Come to think of it, he doesn't know about Y/n's birthday, he should ask her, yeah he'll ask her
"Donghyuck" His mom brought him out of his day dream "are you even listening to me?"
He nods, he wasn't, "I was, and I can say yes, its possible" His dad raises his eyebrow and Donghyuck slyly and carefully waved his hand to ask for help from him who distracted his wife, sparing the prince from an earful
Donghyuck leans back, calling over his one of the stand ins there Yuta, who was also one of his friends "What were we talking about? I wasn't listening"
He smiles amused by the Prince "Being in love does that too you," He teases "I honestly thought I'll never see the day-"
"Shut up and tell me Hyung" Donghyuck mumbles
"The queen asked if Lady Y/n would join dinner and you replied with a quote 'yes, its possible'"
Donghyuck groaned as Yuta teases him. He can't believe he just agreed to something on her behalf by accident. There's nothing he could do now, right? I mean the choices were wake Y/n up and probably get the stink eye (she just seems like the person who gets cranky when you wake them. Every morning Y/n would wake up on her own, so its not impossible) or decline his mom's offer and get yelled at.
"I'll wake you myself for dinner, so don't worry about it"
The Prince nods at the memory, right He can wake her and have dinner. He stands and and smiles at his Parents "I'll go wake her" He informs and leaves the room, walking slowly to her, thinking of what to say, on how to wake her "Oh, and for dessert get something sweet" he smiles and bows
The King and the Queen stared at their sons leaving figure "he doesn't like sweets...?" The Queen starts
Yuta grins at the leaving figure before bowing "It isn't for him, your Grace"
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Once he entered her room, he smiles at the sight, she changed into a loose tee and shorts, he had half a mind to tuck her in and let her sleep, but he was hungry, and he didn't want to get yelled at
"Y/n" he whispered and pets her hair, sitting down on the bed beside her "Wake up, sleepy head, lets eat dinner"
Y/n roused from her dreamless sleep by the sound of his voice, at first she thought it was just her imagination but his voice kept whispering and almost lulled her to sleep until she heard his voice tell her to eat. She slowly woke up, opening her eyes to be greeted by the handsome Prince running his fingers through her locks. She didn't mean it, leaning into his touch, neither noticed until she felt the warmth of the prince's hand on her cheek and she gasps, sitting up, making the prince stand up
"um," He says, his cheeks slightly pink as Y/n refuses to look at him "Its dinner time, lets go" He stands and clears his throat standing to look through her wardrobe to not look at her in the eye
He places his hand on his chest, willing his heart to stop thumping against his ribcage, he placed his other hand (the one he was holding her with) infront of him and he blinked grabbing one of the dresses there and turning to look at her who smiled softly at the prince, she looked unaffected, he didn't like it.
Y/n's heart was still beating at an irregular pace, she smiles softly once the prince looks at her "I'm sorry but why should I wear something so fancy?"
He looks at her and smiles, placing the dress on the bed "Because, my parents wanna eat dinner with you, would you rather wear that?"
He teases and points at her tee and she instinctively covered up using the blanket and he looked away "Um, sorry" He blushed again, God this room was getting stuffy "Change into this, or would you rather a different one?"
She shakes he head, as Hana walks in bowing at the Prince and Female on the bed, "I'll change into that, thankyou"
Hana takes the dress and smiles as she leads Y/n inside the bathroom, Hana was giggling as she helped her out of her current clothes "I hope I'm not stepping out of line, but you and the Prince have a cute chemistry"
Y/n couldn't help but raise her eyebrows "We were just speaking" She points out as Hana helps he into the dress, a red mid-thigh length, sleeves up until the elbow, the edge of the dress, the skirt part was adorned with a golden design, it sparkled with her movement, she would never admit it but the prince had a wonderful taste in clothes
"Well you were," Hana smiles and and adjusts the skirt so that  it doesn't folded inward "But you and the Prince still have that, shy aura around, not many couples posses that now a days, My lady"
Maybe because we're not dating. Y/n hums and looks at the mirror "They don't?"
Hana nods "I assure you, MiLady, They Don't"
Arriving at the dining hall, with The Prince's and Y/n's armed linked together, you can tell from a far that she would be the perfect bride, The Prince was mischievous and everyone can tell, he had something up his sleeve, He helped her to her seat first, and usually the Prince would be teasing or joking around but for tonight, The King and The Queen watched as their son gave Y/n a reassuring smile and a gentle squeeze, a silent promise that she'll be alright
"Y/n" The Queen calls and Y/n bows along with the Prince "Please, no need to bow, you'll be family" She looks at The Prince at her words and He squeezes her hand again before helping her sit "Donghyuck is so proper with you, such a nice change of pace" She starts and laughs as The prince looked at her in shock
"I am Proper!" He raises his voice
"Donghyuck" Y/n calls and looks at him warningly, you do not raise your voice at the Queen, he looks at her and closes his mouth, sitting down with a small huff when she tugs on his sleeve
The King laughs at the display infront of him, "Donghyuck, you're fiance is right, don't raise your voice at your mother" He smiles and looks at her bowing his head "Its nice to finally meet you, Y/n"
She bows her head "Its my pleasure, Your Grace"
"Please, no need to be so formal" He smiles and assures "We're thankful to have you, Donghyuck needed someone who could control him" He teases
The Queen nods and smiles at Y/n "besides the point, we know you might be a little scared, but please don't be, We're happy to have you in our life, especially Donghyuck"
Donghyuck was focused on Y/n through out the conversation on the way she spoke and acted and how she would bow her head at every word, he looked at how she fidgeted whenever his parents spoke directly at her and he reaches out to push the hair behind her ear, making her look and he smiles "you're doing great" He praises, both implied as a don't worry and acting as his fiance
The King and Queen smiled at how affectionate their son was.
Once Dinner was served everybody started eating, Y/n joining the conversation from time to time until the King stood up "Donghyuck, I need to show you something, come with me"
Donghyuck looks at Y/n "you gonna-" he earned a small laugh from her, effectively cutting him off
"I'll be fine, besides, the King is more important then me"
Donghyuck shrugs and stands up "Well, not exactly"
Y/n blinks "What-?"
He winks teasingly and followed his father
Once they left the Queen stands, making Y/n to aswell "Lets go for a walk in the garden while they ready dessert?" She asks and Y/n nods
The queen leads her out into the hallway and into the garden, Y/n was amazed at how beautiful the flowers looked at night which made the Queen laugh "You've never seen the garden at night?"
"No, My Queen" She answers and stands, no longer kneeling to be face to face with the Iris Flowers "I was one of the maids in charge of keeping the rooms of the palace spotless, I'm usually cleaning at night"
The Queen nods and leads her at one of the garden chairs, letting her sit "Please, don't be so formal, We'll be family soon, its only fair to call me normally" She smiles at her teasingly "I wouldn't mind being called Mother by you either"
Y/n blushes, "I-" she starts out as the redness crawls up her neck making the Queen laugh more
She stops with a wave of her hand, while some maids place the tea and desserts on the table in front of them "Actually, Y/n, I would like to properly thank you", Y/n opens her mouth to speak but the Queen beat her to it "Thank you for returning Donghyuck's feelings and staying by his side, His Father and I have been worried, all we ever wanted is for him to be happy, and being with you does that to him" She smiles and reaches out to hold her hand "Thank you"
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I’m Cold Taglist:
@staysstrays @tyongf-sunflower99 @jackyeonglli @rebel-lious-alien
If you wanna be added, leave a comment♡♡
134 notes · View notes
spacecatchako · 3 years
Text
i don't want to be alone anymore (sfw)
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you and daichi have been best friends since your first year of high school. now that you're in love (and adults) where will you go from here?
pairing: sawamura daichi x reader
wc: 3,373 words
contains: seemingly unrequited love, confessions, covers the nationals arc, friends to lovers, angst, hurt/comfort towards the end, fluff, reader literally has a breakdown and daichi comforts them, reassurance, cuddles, petnames (baby, princess, doll)
a/n: no, i didn't have any idea how to tag this. this fic is a little all over the place and there are several timeskips. the reader is implied to have issues w family and friends so keep that in mind lol. also i marked diff sections of the fic with ✨ this emoji so if u want to skip over certain parts and go straight to the hurt/comfort feel free babey
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you were used to being lonely. sure, you worked hard and you had dreams, but there was some part you that remained unfulfilled. it was like a void that gradually dragged you down. you'd managed to supress it for most of your life up until high school, until all of a sudden something changed.
you met sawamura daichi. he was cute, a first year player on the volleyball team. daichi was kind to you. the two of you became fast friends after meeting on the first day at karasuno. during your breaks in between classes the pair of you would talk about anything and everything- volleyball strategies, your latest sketches, even other classmates that were giving you a hard time. you could be silly with daichi. there was no pressure with him, no need to pretend to be perfect.
but there was something scary about this too. by your second year of school you'd been friends with daichi for about a year. it was then that the realization hit- you had never felt this safe, this accepted, or... this loved by another person. when you'd get anxious because of classes or have issues with your family daichi became a shoulder for you to lean on. he'd go out of his way to send you check up texts and leave you little handwritten notes. the first one that you received was a little post-it note that said "you'll do great on your test today! i believe in you- daichi." he'd blushed like crazy when you confronted him about it. it was new to see your usually sturdy and level-headed best friend blush over a silly note that he'd left. there was something different between the two of you after that first note. instead of walking you home like usual he started to keep a hand on the small of your back.
you hadn't been looking. you'd been talking about how awkward your family was when a stray cat slunked into front of the two of you. you almost walked straight into it before the cat bounded away, crossing the empty street and looking back once to meow at daichi and you.
"sorry, is that too much? i just... want to make sure that you don't trip."
you were confused until you realized what had happened. daichi had steadied you by putting his hand on the small of your back. it felt good, for some reason, to trust him to steady you. trust wasn't an easy thing to come by.
you smiled a tad awkwardly before steadying yourself on your own two feet. "not at all daichi. i don't mind."
daichi smiled and the pair of you kept walking. his hand had stayed where it had been. you felt... guilty for being so touch-starved. and for your best friend, of all people?
"how ridiculous" you thought to yourself. when you came home you knew that no one was there. time to start dinner before your family came home. you'd probably retreat to your room and text daichi when that happened.
daichi was so good and so nice, and by your third year of high school the tiny, lingering bit of attraction that you had had for him flourished into a full-blown crush. you felt embarrassed and guilty. never had you let someone get this close to you. never had you ever let anyone write you notes, check in on you, give you genuine-sounding compliments. it was the little things like "are you okay y/n? you seemed a little quiet this morning. are you getting enough sleep?"
graduation came and went. the notion of parting with daichi and your other friends- asahi, suga, and kiyoko- left a pang of grief in your stomach. you were attending a local university and daichi planned to join miyagi's fire department after nationals. you'd still be close to him and he'd still be living at home, but it was weird to think that you'd be seeing one another a lot less.
nationals was when everything boiled over. you'd promised daichi that you'd be in the stands at every game of the competition, cheering him on.
"id love it if you were there, don't get me wrong. but don't feel like you have to jump through hoops for me! it's a bit of a long trip, i don't want you tiring yourself out." he confesses sheepishly. but you really wanted to go- his mom and siblings couldn't because of school and work, but they'd given him their best wishes.
"I'll hitch a ride with saeko and the crew. she and i work at the same restaurant on the weekends. we already talked and she said she'd be more than happy." you chirp. daichi seems a bit less worried about you after this, but then he remembers.
"um. y/n. you know that saeko drives... well, not badly, just... scarily?" he only seems to be partially joking.
you laugh at his worried expression. "I'll be okay pal. we'll make one of saeko's taiko buddies take the wheel."
daichi mock sighs in relief and you laugh together. this was the last moment that daichi had before nationals where he wasn't laden with anticipation over whether karasuno would succeed or not. he felt relaxed, with you. he thought you were cute, and awkward sometimes, and smart, and... good. so good. you didn't always look to him like he was an authority figure and you were small. he didn't feel the pressure to make sure you behaved or kept you in line because you were good at putting up a front and keeping yourself "in order." sometimes daichi wished that you would let him take care of you, let him listen more often. he wished that you would let him love you.
oh.
oh shit.
"daichi? um, daichi?"
daichi blushed and was snapped back to reality. he... loved you? that's what that care for you was all of these years. that's why he wanted to know if you were taking care of yourself, if you weren't burning yourself out with pleasing your family and school and work. sure, he thought you were cute. he picked up on all of your idiosyncrasies, even sometime pointing them out to you. he had had an inkling that *maybe* he had a little crush on you... but the care that he had come to find that he had for you was so great. he had to do something- everyone was leaving for school and the championships would be over and then when would he see you again? there was this great, big fear of losing you due to confessing. but that fear was minuscule compared to you, his studious and independent friend, pushing him away and forgetting.
"sorry. i was just lost in thought."
yes, you, saeko, and the taiko group arrived a *tad* late and missed the tokonami match. yes you felt guilty for missing it. but when karasuno won against inarizaki and you saw daichi and the team celebrate the win, it was all worth it. you cheered as loud as you can, and once the players cleared from the court, you scrambled to greet daichi.
you see him in the lobby and almost leap into his arms. he laughs. "aaa, hey y/n." he croaks.
you giggle. "hey daichi. congratulations. you were amazing out there."
he's smiling through the sweat and fatigue. you notice, out of the corner of your eye, asahi and suga slowly backing away to leave the two of you alone. suga clicks his tongue, making daichi whip his head around, and he gives the captain a thumbs up." daichi sighs and sets you down, and the two of you are left in the stadium lobby. volleyball players and spectators mingle around, getting food and shopping for merchandise. daichi runs a hand through his hair and turns to you.
"do you want to go outside? there's something that i have to tell you."
anxiety shoots through you. if it's daichi, it can't be bad. of course not. that's one of your best friends. right?
the two of you make your way to the front doors of the stadium and get some fresh air. the sky is blue and the wind is refreshing against your skin. daichi, still sweaty and tired from his game, seems to enjoy it too.
you giggle as he stretches. daichi sits on a nearby bench and gestures for you to do so too. you notice a little shake in his hands as he does so. he's fiddling with the zipper of his karasuno jacket in that cute way that you know he does.
there's a sense of unease, and it's up to you to break the silence. you're alone with sawamura daichi, your best friend and longtime crush.
"daichi? what's wrong?" you ask, concerned.
daichi looks to you, a flush on his cheeks and a light in his eyes. he looks so cute, even when he's tongue-tied and tired from a game.
he takes a deep breath, and the words come out.
"i like you a lot, y/n"
you blink, confused. then it hits you. your crush, sawamura daichi, likes you. like, the boy that you think about way too much, the boy that you feel safe with, the absolute gentleman who cares about you and respects you instead of walking all over you, likes you.
you realize that you haven't said anything before you stutter.
"i-i like you too, daichi. so much."
he's blushing. your face is growing hot despite the winter air. the two of you, literal adults, are reduced to awkward messes because of this confession.
"o-oh. that's... good. i think that that's good." daichi awkwardly says. he laughs a little, then it turns into a full-blown bellow. you can't help but laugh too at how ludicrous the situation is. two friends who have known each other for years, caring about each other, eventually falling for each other. who knew?
"also suga made a bet and told me to confess to you if we won against inarizaki. he told me after the tokonami match. i agreed." daichi huffs after the laughter subsides.
"of course he did. im glad that he did it though." you joke.
"yeah. because then i wouldn't have you." he smiles, getting up. he extends a hand to you, helping you from the bench
"let's go back to the group. i don't want to miss lunch."
it's been months after nationals. you and daichi are in a relationship, happy to be with one another. he's taken you on so many wonderful dates and his family seems to love getting to know you more. but there's still something that's missing. you've always struggled to open up to people completely. even daichi doesn't know what you're like when you completely break.
that changes one day when you have to travel from your dorm, to your parents house, then to daichi's for a date. it was supposed to be casual- just you and him in your pajamas, watching movies and eating takeout. but after being berated by your family for your career choice it triggered something in you. you felt like a little kid again, being told that you're not enough, being slowly manipulated by your family into burning yourself out. dachi helped the loneliness subside, but you knew that, inside, you were still the same little kid. that thought made something inside you recoil, but you pushed it down and made your way to daichi's.
you settle into his bed, your partner beside you. you take a good look at him- your man, sturdy and stronger from work at the fire department. suddenly, you can't help but break for some reason. tears flood your eyes and they won't stop for some reason.
"baby? baby what's wrong?"
you didn't deserve him. why were you even friends with him? someone this nice, this gentle with you, this kind? you wanted him to kick you out for crying. you wanted him to break up with you, because good things don't last.
you were so embarrassed and you'd felt so weak and stupid. you'd never been allowed to cry before, you'd always been told that it was a sign of weakness. good children didn't cry, so now that you were grown up you shouldn't either.
daichi hadn't judged you. he just set the tv remote down and moved in to hug you. other people's touches usually made you flinch and swat them away, but it was never like that with him. not when he supported the small of your back when you fell, not when you jumped into his arms, not when he took your hand after your mutual confession.
the two of you were hugging now, your chin on his shoulder and his head tucked into your side. you could stay like this forever. he was so warm. you could feel the two of your heartbeats almost sinking into one as your sobs quieted down and your breathing slowed to normal. this was the effect that he had on you. it was in this moment that you realized that you loved him- you truly did. the brown-eyed, sturdy, kind, careful, gentle boy that you'd met on the first day of high school had become your friend. then he was your crush. now that you two were adults, he was your first partner. the first person that you had ever fallen truly, deeply in love with.
you felt weak for desiring a love that was this tender. pessimistic you has you thinking that maybe all of the bad things that happened when you were growing up- your family being distant, friends leaving, you feeling alone all of the time- were a sign. a sign that you didn't deserve love. but if you were undeserving, if the pessimistic side of you was right, maybe you could have this moment to keep instead. is that it? if a whirlwind kind of love was too much to ask, you could just keep these moments with daichi close to your heart. if it was possible to take this feeling and keep it in a bottle, you would.
in between sobs, you vent.
"everything sucks, daichi. my family has always been so critical of me. i never get to see any of our friends anymore. im trying to succeed at school but my family won't get off my back. i feel so alone."
daichi pulls away to look at you. his palm is cupping your face and uses his thumb to wipe a tear away. you sniffle. you struggle to meet his beautiful brown eyes, averting your gaze. but you can feel his gaze on you, and when you do finally find the courage to make eye contact, he looks at you with nothing but affection. for some reason you don't feel judged by him. you don't feel... bad for crying in front of him anymore. he's looking at you with nothing but acceptance, nothing but care.
"hey." he starts in a small, gentle voice. "i know how you feel about crying, doll. but it's okay to cry. no matter what your parents say about you, you're a good person. a lovely person, even. you're a good friend too. what they think is stupid." he smiles a little. you love that smile- the way that his eyes crinkle a little and his cheeks dimple. he holds one of your hands in both of his. "i love you. you're good, and smart, and kind, and hardworking. you forget to take care of yourself sometimes, but i think that that's okay. while you're learning how to show yourself more compassion I'll take care of you in the meantime. whatever you need, doll. you're safe with me. no matter what. okay?"
you're crying again. great. you don't stop yourself this time and you throw yourself into his arms. he's there, waiting for you. you let yourself sob into his chest while he gently rubs your back. he holds you in his big, strong arms and hugs you closer. you don't feel suffocated and you don't feel humiliating to be crying. you feel safe. it sucks to cry over what your family thinks of you and it sucks that you don't feel like enough. it sucks that you've felt alone for most of your life. it sucks that you feel guilty for wanting love and it sucks that sometimes, you feel guilty for loving daichi so much. but as he holds you and presses a kiss to the top of your head, nuzzling your hair, all of the pain is tinged with something warm. something safe. something so, so safe. a feeling that you'd never felt before.
it's in that moment that you know- daichi isn't a whirlwind. he isn't a storybook prince that will whisk all of your problems away. no, he's somehow better. he's a pillar of support, a source of comfort, a prince in his own right. no, he won't save you- you still have to take care of yourself. but he'll support you, fill in the gaps, love you unconditionally. maybe a fix-it-all is too much to ask, but you couldn't care less about that now. all that you want his daichi. he takes care of you. he respects you. he loves you, despite your flaws and your feelings of weakness and those moments like now when you just need to be held. he loves you.
when you've stopped crying your voice is croaky and you feel gross. you look up at daichi and he hands you a box of tissues from the nightstand. you're an ugly crier, you know that. but daichi doesn't seem to judge as you dab at your eyes and look to check your reflection in his room mirror. it feels wrong to leave the comfort of his arms, but it also feels like instinct to check your composure. when you're done you turn around to face him, eyes tired.
"do you want to talk about it doll?" you're about to object, in a prefunctory sort of way, but he cuts in. "baby, i don't mind. really. i just want to know that you're okay. i just want to know that you feel safe. you've endured a lot and the way that you feel matters."
you sniffle. "im fine not talking for now daichi. im... tired. just tired. from crying. i just want to sleep." when he shows you nothing but understanding, you stutter out one last request
"ww-will you hold me?"
"of course, princess. ive got you."
you clamber back to bed. daichi and you shift positions so that he's laying down and you're against his chest. he smells like that nice, crisp soap that he always uses. you bury your face in his chest once more, before laying on your side to the sound of his heartbeat.
you sigh. "i love this sound. it lets me know that you're here with me. it let's me know that you're real."
daichi chuckles warmly. you can hear the sound reverberate throughout his chest and it tickles your ear. he's so sweet. it's then that he promises something to you.
"im here, darling. and i am not going anywhere."
your eyes water a little at that. "i love you, daichi. you're my best friend."
he sighs, and it's like you can feel his warm, gentle smile from where you're resting. "i love you too, doll. so much. you are the most precious thing in the world to me."
you know in that moment that you are loved- genuinely, indellibly loved. the roughness and loneliness that you once endured is no more. despite everything, you're learning how to love yourself and to take care of yourself. it feels so, so lonely sometimes and the work seems endless. but whenever you need someone to catch you when you fall, you know that your love, daichi, will be there. forevermore.
his heartbeat relaxes you as you snuggle deeper into his chest. the last words that the two of you utter to one another are ones of love before you both drift off to sleep. you love him- so, so much. and he loves you.
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tagging some folks in the longest fic that ive ever written because aaaaaa. if u want to be added to my taglist or taken off plz send me an ask!
@ceo-of-daichi @honeybunny-sawamura @daichis-kitty @goldenshoyo @daichidaichidaichi @kingtamakimurder
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