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n0bamak1s · 3 years

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laughing gas - mai zenin x reader

request: “Mai Zenin x Fem S/o, where the s/o gets their wisdom tooth removed and confesses their love to mai acting all sweet and cute, mai then takes care of her s/o and confesses too, we can see mai being her bratty and confident self but when she is with her s/o she just lets her walls down” - @shockfirefly

summary: in the request! (genre: fluff, friends to lovers, slice of life, humor)

warnings: reader is high on anesthesia if that counts as a warning, swearing, mostly just tooth rotting fluff (literally!!)

word count: 2k

a/n: i really enjoyed writing this request! at this point i’m basically just a mai zenin stan account tbh but the requests for her are just so fun to write. i’m almost on summer break so hopefully i’ll be more active bc i have a few ideas i’m excited to write for!!

it seriously took everything in mai’s willpower to not immediately whip out her phone to film your groggy state the moment she stepped into the room where you had just gotten your surgery done. she stifled a laugh at the bandage wrapped around your head, vaguely reminiscent of the one noritoshi had worn following the exchange event. when your eyes flicker over to meet her gaze, you give what she can only assume is your attempt at a smile, but looks more like a dog caught eating its owner’s dinner, with your face all swollen and slightly flushed.

forget that willpower shit.

she shamelessly calls out your name, to which you respond like an eager little kid. “say cheese!” she gives you an uncharacteristically wide grin to signal you to mirror her actions. you seemed to not learn from your previous mistake and attempted to smile back at her, before immediately cutting yourself off with a muffled groan. she hardly bothered with hiding her giggle this time, but at the very least she had the decency to cover her mouth as she cracked up.

with an annoyed pout on your face, you huffed and turned to the nurse standing beside you, who you were apparently to loopy to notice had joined in with mai on giggling at your grogginess. “she’s so mean to me!” you said, though your tone had no real irritation to it.

“it’s just to send to utahime. she wants to make sure your doing alright.” mai lied straight through her teeth, though you seem satisfied enough with that answer as you started to push yourself up from the seat you’d been in. mai quickly rushed to your side, knowing you weren’t sensible enough at the moment to ask for her help. before you could stand up and inevitably wobble over, she looped an arm around your waist and moved your arm so it was slung over her shoulders.

“alright champ, let’s get going.” she tried to remain as nonchalant as possible with the close proximity, but unfortunately for her, you seemed determined to embarrass her as much as possible.

“well at least buy me dinner first, ya casanova!” you said (much louder than necessary, mind you). honestly, it wouldn’t be surprising to mai if you could be heard from the waiting room.

with an over enthusiastic wave from you and an awkward thanks from mai to the nurse, you guys set off on your way.

to be fair to you, it was surprisingly a relatively tame trip to the door, with you focusing on keeping your steps in tune with mai’s. you were too lost in thought to embarrass yourself until you had made it to the waiting room. you had rather innocently pointed out a small curse, which would have been completely harmless had it not actually been an old woman, and had you not spoken with an inappropriately loud voice. the poor old lady who had fallen subject to your anesthesia induced self gave you an agitated glare as mai waved sheepishly in apology. the moment you guys were out the door, you turned back to glance through the glass.

“we’ll get her later, mai!” you patted her on the back with determination, your voice still muffled in a way that made you sound like you belonged on sesame street. “she can’t fool me, stupid curse!”

had it been anyone else, mai would have simply rolled her eyes and tugged you on, but since it was you, she found herself laughing along, a quiet laugh, like the sound of a wind chime in early spring weather. the sound seemed to catch you off guard, causing you to stop in your antics before turning to face her. she paused when she felt your gaze back on her, looking at her like a kid would look at fireworks for the first time.

she raised an eyebrow at your sudden change in demeanor. “what?”

“your laugh is pretty.” you stated simply, clearly having some pride at being the one to get her to laugh like that.

she turned away for a moment, hoping it would stop you from seeing the flush spreading across her face, knowing you’d never let her live it down. “thanks.” she muttered, praying she sounded at least a little bit cool and composed.

the short walk to the car was filled with you pointing out random cars asking if they were mai’s as you rested your head on her shoulder, before deciding the swelling was too painful for that.

a large grin which quickly turned into a grimace (you really never learned) appeared on your face when mai finally informed you that you’d made it to the right car. she held your hand to support you as you stepped into the seat, and once she’d sat down, reached over to buckle you in. she chose to ignore the over exaggerated wink you sent her way in favor of her own sanity.

as she drove, you babbled on about nonsense like how you were sure noritoshi had made mechamaru to hide the fact that he was secretly a robot, or how after that run you had gotten at the baseball game, you were sure you were destined to quit sorcery to go to the major leagues. to humor you, mai nodded along, before dryly responding that she’d probably be a better fit considering how good she looked in the baseball uniforms.

ignorant of her joking tone, you were quick to agree enthusiastically. “definitely! but i dunno if i’m the best person to ask, because i think you look good in just about anything.” your voice was sincere as you turned fully to look at her with slightly hazy eyes.

before either of you had time to process the admiration you had shown towards her, you glanced back out the window to the familiar sight of your school. you excitedly waved at the sight of todo and noritoshi sparring together. after catching his attention, todo didn’t even bother to stop the roaring laughter that came from your appearance, pointing out to noritoshi the similarities between your current look and his from just a few weeks ago. noritoshi gave todo an annoyed look, before glancing back over to see mai helping you out of the car, once again slinging your arm over her shoulders and supporting you with an arm on your waist.

she tried her best to ignore todo, she really did. though, it wasn’t exactly easy to ignore him when he loudly exclaimed what a ‘lady killer’ mai was. she snapped her gaze to meet his eyes, giving him a cold glare, before continuing to slink you along to your dorm.

when you opened the door to your dorm, the first thing mai noticed was a bulletin board on your wall, decorated with photos of all your friends, which most recently included your classmates. her eyes flicked to a photo of you next to another girl in elementary school with a smile that showed off your gap from missing teeth, and she chuckled softly at the irony of the photo compared to your current situation. her gaze then quickly shifted to a newly added strip of pictures from a photo booth. she smiled fondly at the memory of you, her, miwa, and momo sandwiching yourselves together in the tiny booth to take photos during your shopping trip. they weren’t ‘good’ photos, per say, in fact you guys all looked rather ridiculous trying to pack into frame, but for some reason, mai seemed to soften up at the memory of it, and how happy you looked just to be next to her.

her train of thought was interrupted by you tugging on the hand that didn’t rest on you, making her turn to see you mere inches from her face.

why the hell were you so close???

“yes?” she questioned, hoping to deflect from the fact that she was so obviously gushing over the photos on your wall just moments before.

“will you sleep with me?”

had you not had an arm around her, she probably would have dropped you in that instant. from the way she carried herself to the way she talked to others, most people would assume mai zenin does NOT blush, yet somehow you’d managed to disprove that theory way too many times today.

“WHAT?” it was her turn to be loud for a moment.

“i’m tireddddd” you whined “and you’re so warm.” you had stated it so casually, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

she groaned, as if it would cover up her sheer embarrassment at how bold you were. wordlessly, she walked you to your bed, keeping her grip on your waist secure. it was amazing how gentle she was as she laid you down on that rock solid bed all the dorms were stuck with. she pulled a blanket over you, sitting awkwardly on the edge of the bed in hopes you’d doze off peacefully from there. when she didn’t shift from her position, you looked at her with a confused expression.

“wouldn’t it be more comfortable to lay down?” your words were still slightly slurred together. you rested a hand on hers. “you know i don’t mind.” despite your dazed look, she could tell your words were sincere as your thumb rubbed circles atop her hand.

mai turned to face you full on, her eyes gentle rather than their usual harsh look.

curse you for being so hard to resist.

“fine” her voice was quiet “but only because it’s my job to watch over you.” she stretched out her legs so she was laying down on the bed, pulling the blanket towards her so she could get comfortable.

“you’re so good to me mai.” you smiled. not a pained grimace, or an awkward baring of your teeth, but a smile. “people always seem to be so intimidated by you, but i don’t really get it. you’ve always been so nice to me. it’s nice.”

she didn’t understand how even when you were all loopy, you still managed to have such an effect on her. hesitantly, she reached up to grab your hand, intertwining her fingers with yours.

it seemed the boldness from your anesthesia had rubbed off on her.

before she had time to talk, you continued. “i always feel so glad when we get paired up for missions, you make me feel so safe. like, i know when i’m around you that you’ll protect me. i admire you so much for doing all that for me.”

she went slightly stiff at your...confession? declaration? what exactly would you call that? you had said it so nonchalantly, whether it was out of trying to play off your fear of rejection or legitimate confidence, it was hard to tell.

“plus you’re really pretty.” your hand squeezed hers as you looked suddenly very interested in the pattern of your blanket. it was odd, seeing you get so shy all of a sudden, though she supposed it was somewhat of a win for her.

as you stared sheepishly away from her eyes that traced over every inch of your face, you felt her hand come up to your cheek, tilting you to face her. she continued scanning your face with an impossibly soft expression, before meeting your eyes once again.

“you know i wouldn’t do all that if it was anyone else.” her voice was barely above a whisper as her eyes bore into yours. her face was so close to yours that you could feel her breath fanning lightly across your face. “it’s all for you.” you’d never seen her so earnest before.

you smiled softly at her, even despite the ridiculous bandages around your head, and your chipmunk like cheeks, she still stared at you with so much love.

“you like meeee.” your tone was teasing, but it was obvious to anyone with a pair of eyes that you were just as whipped as her.

“dammit. you figured me out.” she said sarcastically, shuffling forward slightly so you were flush against her.

up close, the tiredness in your glassy eyes was obvious. she sighed to herself, and slowly leaned in to plant a soft kiss on your forehead.

“get some sleep.” she smiled at your eyes struggling to fight open your heavy eyelids. “we have a lot to talk about once the anesthesia wears off.”

maybe todo wasn’t so far off with that ‘lady killer’ comment.

#jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #mai zenin x reader #mai zenin #zenin mai #zenin mai x reader #jjk headcanons #mai zenin imagine #mai zenin x you #jjk imagines

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kashimos-hajime · 4 years

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dear... whoever | b.b.

summary: a mandated series of long and short diary entries from the new head of R&D for Stark Industries.

WARNINGS: swearing, LOTS of fluff, mentions of drinking and sex and hospitals and guns, general fun and witty attitude, small angst, big jealousy, obviously au after civil war. everything after does not exist. pairing: bucky barnes x fem!reader word count: 9.5k

a/n: written for @softbiker and 100% inspired by @sunmoonandbucky with the format. my prompt was let me love you by rita ora and i wrote it from the perspective the singer is singing it to rather than the actual singer. this was super fun to write. enjoy!

July 31/20

Dear…

Whoever is going to read this. So… me, in the future probably. So, it should be dear WHOMever, I think, but it sounds wrong.

Is it too cliché to say dear diary? I don’t know. After all, I don’t WANT to be writing this but unfortunately I am because it’s mandated. Apparently, the psychiatrist that works for Stark Industries thinks it’s necessary that I write down my feelings and show that I’ve adjusted to working part-time superhero, full-time head of Tony’s stupid R&D department.

Something about how that much stress can cause psychotic fractures in the worst case scenario.

Cute.

Anyway, I don’t know what to write. Currently, it’s 4:23AM. The only reason I’m awake is because I have trouble sleeping on the best night. I heard Barnes messing about and because I am the Hermit of the Rec Room Couch (catchy, I know), I can hear him just walking about.

What the hell is he even doing?

To be honest, I’ve never talked to Barnes besides the occasional greetings because he’s the sort to keep to himself, I guess, and, valid. I’m not saying it’s not, considering his history, but you know.

I think I’m a friendly person, and I’m bored. He’s eventually going to hear me writing noisily because of super-soldier hearing or whatever, so I might just get up and introduce myself.

Not that I’ve been working here for years, but whatever.

I’m really bored and hungry, honestly, so a trip to the kitchen would be considered normal (and warranted) in such circumstances.

Fuck it.

Time to make a new friend or die trying. If you never hear from me again, you’ll know why.

Aug. 1/20

Dear Jane,

I finally got the time to write in here and you may be wondering why I have named you. Well, after the conversation at roughly 4:30 AM, here are things that’ve changed in a disorganized list. None is more important than the other. I'm just writing what comes to my head.

One: Barnes said he doesn’t really let anyone call him James. I called him James once because I forgot. Profuse apologies followed. He said it was okay and didn’t mind me calling him that. Now, in my mind, I think he’s just saying this to be polite and really just wants me to call him Bucky but he seemed sincere. We’ll see how it goes.

Two: Barnes was awake because his cat woke him up. I didn’t even know he had a cat but it’s a gorgeous white cat named Alpine that Barnes carries around in his half-zipped up hoodies sometimes. It’s adorable. He’s super soft and friendly and I love him already. He showed me all the tricks Alpine could do. Amazing.

Three: Barnes’ favourite movie is the Godfather. Totally surprising there. Please tell me you understand sarcasm.

Four: He said he liked the name Jane when I told him what I was doing up and also in the rec room (couldn’t sleep, writing in my diary) and that I didn’t want to say “Dear diary”

“Why don’t you just give it a name?” he eloquently suggested and Jane was his answer to my question of “Which name?”

Five: Barnes, or James, I guess he is now, is my friend.

Six: We said we’d meet up at 4:30AM or earlier again because I told him I wanted to show him my s’mores dip recipe.

Seven: Wish me luck. Hope I don’t get murdered.

Eight: I think I might be in love with him.

Bye.

Aug. 5/20

Dear Jane,

In an effort to summarize what has happened in the past four days, I will open with the fact that James Buchana Barnes is the cutest motherfucker on the planet. He’s super old fashioned, but that’s a given. He opens the doors for me, offers to take my bags up, and in the past four days, we’ve met up at around midnight to just eat and chat. Then he walks me back to my room with a glass of water and I’m left fanning myself because it’s so sweet and he’s so sweet and OH, MY GOD, I am a child.

This feels like a crush. Like, butterflies in my stomach, self-conscious every time he looks at me, can’t stop staring, and wanting to impress him at every turn sort of crush.

AKA, a middle-school crush and I feel completely ridiculous but that is besides the point because he’s just the loveliest person.

Someone should tell him chivalry is dead. Steve thinks he’s just being sweet on me, and Sam says I should flash some ass just to get a rise out of him which would be funny. He’d look absolutely adorable blushing his head off.

We’ll see. I am considering it.

What else happened? I’m drawing a huge blank.

As explained in a previous entry, I was to show Barnes my s’mores dip recipe. Huge success. Crowd loved it. That’s how I learned he has a huge sweet tooth like me. Got an email from Pep about a board meeting which I ignored. If it’s really important, she’ll see me in person. Went swimming with Sam. We started planning Tony’s big Christmas party even though that’s MONTHS away.

But, you know. We’re so busy all the time, it might be worth it planning ahead.

As head of R&D, it’s vital to me that this goes well because they’re fun when they do go well, and a chaotic disaster when they don’t. Also, I have to find a date but details will follow.

I think that’s it.

If there’s more to follow, then I’ll just come back but there really isn’t.

Oh, Alpine found my room. He’s in here right now and he snores. It’s cute, just like his owner.

Okay, goodnight.

Aug. 7/20

Dear Jane,

Sam, James, and I went swimming.

Pro of the day: James is ripped and that man was GLISTENING.

Con of the day: I AM STUPID in front of hot ripped men.

Pro of the day: We got ice cream together. Strawberry for me, mango for James because he wants to try new flavours, and Sam ordered some monstrosity with vanilla ice cream, chocolate and raspberry syrups, and a bunch of banana slices. A swirl of whipped cream to finish it off. It looked like diabetes in a cup and that’s coming from me.

Con of the day: James used his thumb to wipe the ice cream off my lip and my brain short-circuited. Sam teased us about it, but James very stubbornly and convincingly said we’re just friends.

Con of the day x2: We are just friends and that is NOT going to change. I cannot explain how much my heart literally fell out of my body in disappointment.

God, and James and I are meeting up at 2AM tonight so he can show me this new stupid stuffed celerey recipe he learned.

It’s not stupid.

It’s really, REALLY cute he researched it.

This sucks.

Aug. 11/20

The worst day ever. I don’t want to talk about it but might as well make a note on it. More on it later, I guess.

Aug. 15/20

Dear Jane,

Sorry, I’m dramatic. Must get it from working with Tony for so many years.

Let’s just review what occurred on August 11, 2020, at approximately 3:23 in the afternoon.

I learned that James went out on a date. A DATE. From SAM. When James had ample opportunity to tell me at our regular meeting at witching hour over celery sticks.

EXCUSE ME? WHO IS THIS WOMAN?

I’m not even mad. I’m just angry that the man I became friends with only 2 weeks ago and caught feelings immediately for is seeing other people.

I sound like a raging bitch. I promise you, Jane, that I am not. I’m just the insanely jealous type.

No, I’m not.

God, what is happening to me and why does it have to be James.

I never get crushes and the instant I do, it’s for the most emotionally and physically unavailable person ON EARTH.

Also, work was work. I was distracted, drank soup from the canteen, and generally accomplished nothing. Alpine came for some snuggles while James was out. That’s the only good thing.

Thanks, universe.

Aug. 16/20

Dear Jane,

So, I brought up this mystery lady over homemade sundaes.

James seems pretty serious about her because he a) apologized for not telling because he wanted to keep it private and asked me not to tell anyone and b) has a second date with her later today.

Oh, GOD. There is no point to this.

Aug. 19/20

Dear Jane,

What’s the point of asking someone intimate, personal questions if not because you guys are best friends?

James called me his best friend today. He says he knows me, but if he did, he’d know I feel like throwing up whenever he’s around and that his stare burns through every layer of clothing until I feel like he just knows my secret.

I told him we’ve known each other less than a month, but he said something stupidly charming about “intuition” and feeling and that this feels right and how he knows he can tell me anything and that I was an easy person to talk to.

I should’ve been a shrink.

At least, my trip to Wakanda is going to give me distance. A solid two months of no one else but me, tech, and new faces. Going there to collaborate with Shuri is definitely exciting and taking up more space in my brain than James these days.

Maybe I’ll fall in love with some soldier over there because apparently, I’m catching feelings willy-nilly these days.

See you on the plane, Jane.

Aug. 23/20

Dear Jane,

On the quinjet, it’s fairly quiet. It’s one of the things I love about it. The silent yet soft engines that can lull me to sleep. We should be arriving in a few hours so I thought I’d write. I’m getting the hang of this, I think.

There's a press conference later, too, in the trip with the UN and it’s not that I can’t handle it, but that I could’ve done this in my sleep and wished Tony sent someone else. I hate the press, not gonna lie.

Anyway, this gives me time to be introspective.

Is it just me or James always Okay, is it just my imagination that whenever I try to get close to James, he just kinda pulls away? Not in a romantic way. I’m not stealing anyone’s man because girl code, but he won’t even let me just stand near him anymore. It’s like I have an infectious disease only transmitted through physical contact and it’s just weird.

I don’t know.

Before I left, he said he’d miss me and that we should keep in touch through calls (Obviously, I would) and that he hopes I won’t forget him.

So, you say those things but you won’t even let me even hug you?

You’re a manipulative asshole, Barnes.

Oct. 20/20

Dear Jane,

I am so sorry that it has taken so long for us to reunite.

In hindsight, I’m a fucking idiot.

I left you on the quinjet which went back to New York and a different quinjet came to pick me up. I came back like two days ago so these past few days have been spent searching for you.

James offered to help, and he seems normal again.

Weird. Guess he was just in a mood with the new girlfriend and adjusting to having me as a friend, too. Guys go through that, I guess.

In Wakanda, I did not, in fact, fall in love with a soldier or anything. I curse every day that I didn’t, trust me. I’m just as disappointed as you are because I just want to get over this stupid crush. For the two months I was gone, it was like I didn’t like James at all like that. Even during calls, I could pretend we were just two teammates keeping each other in the loop. He talked about his girlfriend, I listened, I explained science because he’s a nerd, and he asked questions like he was interested.

It was FINE.

Then, he was waiting for me when I came back to NYC and it slammed into me like Bruce in Hulk-mode.

James asked if I wanted to meet his girlfriend because she’d be coming around for the Halloween party anyway, and he thinks we’ll get along swimmingly.

He really said swimmingly. He is stuck in the wrong era, but we all knew that.

I said yes, to be polite.

Here’s to hoping she’s a vindictive bitch and I am justified in hating her entire being.

Oct. 22/20

Dear Jane,

I met her. She’s small and pretty and mature and normal.

If I wasn’t stupidly in my feelings about James, I’d love her, too.

She’d treat him right, give him a good home to come back to.

Best not to notice the people fighting beside you in that way, I guess.

Oct. 25/20

Dear Jane,

God is dead and NO ONE has eyes on the road.

Jesus isn’t even taking the wheel on this one.

It’s a fucking disaster.

I do not want to describe in every little detail the intricacies of dreaming about James Buchanan Barnes fucking my brains out, so I won’t, but this is for the record that it happened and how the fuck am I supposed to come back and see him in his probably gorgeous attempt at his recreation of Brendan Fraser from the Mummy AKA my favourite movie (which HE KNOWS THAT IT IS?? GOD, the audacity.)

Girlfriend (his girlfriend. “Girlfriend” is the name which she shall be henceforth known as in these entries because petty wins are all I have right now) is dressing as Rachel Weisz. Because “couples goals” or whatever.

I wouldn’t know. Sam and I are dressed up as sexy salt and pepper shakers (his idea, not mine) and he made me take the salt stick because I think he knows. Steve’s not dressing up because he’s more focused on handing out candy as Captain America.

Tony is… Tony. Iron Man and all that.

Anyway, I’m out of town in DC for a meeting with the Secretary of State for a few days, but I’ll be back in New York on the 30th so I’ll have a few hours to adjust to being around James again before he dons on that outfit that I know will be totally hot.

He called me his best friend again in his latest email.

Made me smile like an idiot, but I digress.

Nov. 1/20

Dear Jane,

Halloween was killer. Sam and I won best duo for costumes because we’re that good. Ate a lot of candy and it seems to be looking up.

I dunno. I didn’t mind James and Girlfriend on the couch that much in the after-party. Mostly stuck by Nat and Sharon and Tony. An ood trio, but a fun one nonetheless.

It was fun, but I still have to go to work no matter how many jello shots and vodka gummy bears consumed.

Wish me luck, not that I need it.

Why do you think Tony hired me?

Nov. 4/20

Dear Jane.

Natasha said I smile at James in a way that utterly betrays every emotion I want to hide in my chest.

Note to self: Don’t smile at James, or at his jokes, or at anything he ever does again. Avoid him. Put a stopper on this friendship.

Note to note to self: I can’t. He just makes me smile whenever he’s around and he’s always around. There’s no simpler way to put it.

I’m gonna try this hiatus thing, though. Distance myself a bit. We’ll see how it goes.

Nov. 13/20

Dear Jane,

Day nine of this hiatus business and it sucks. I miss my best friend.

We’re scheduled for a mission together, and we’re leaving tomorrow so I was going to have to talk to him during the briefing and the op either way.

Well, glad to know this didn’t work.

Nov. 15/20

Dear Jane,

Guess who just got fucking shot!

ME!

Guess even scumbags can’t take a holiday because some stupid arms dealer got a cheap shot on me while I was downloading their whole computer system and other tech mumbo-jumbo I am too high to write about.

James left a few hours ago with the rest of the team, but not before he got me a bunch of ice chips and said he was worried and that he hopes I get better soon. He even promised to get me some flowers to spruce up the room and to say my HEART went CRAZY is an understatement.

He came to my rescue, essentially, as soon as he heard I got pinned. He carried me to the quinjet the instant he cleared the area and stayed by my side the whole time even though the bleeding stopped and I was in good hands. He was just so protective, barking at doctors and nurses. It was embarrassing but also really, really sweet.

Is it weird of me to say that I want him to stay by my side forever?

I’ve never fallen in love before.

Is it always this fast and this hard? I feel like I’m crashing instead of gently and wonderfully falling. Everything is dumb and awful.

Is this what love is like? Because it hurts worse than getting shot because I think I’m going to vomit flowers or butterflies or something.

God, he’d never love me. We’re just friends and even though we have a lot in common, he’d never. It’s just too much of the past in the present or whatever.

Also, he has a girlfriend but it seems very surface-level. God, that makes me sound like a “one of the boys” type of girl who’s a bitch to one of the boy’s new girlfriends, but I don’t know. James told me they don’t really talk about the deep stuff like we do. But she makes him happy, I think.

In hindsight, one may ask what the deep stuff is.

More on that later. I’m tired.

God, why him?

I HATE THIS.

goodnight.

Nov. 16/20

Dear Jane,

James visited again today. He sat beside me and we talked until the nurses had to kick him out. He also brought the flowers.

I asked about Girlfriend casually. I said I liked her.

He said he did, too.

I don’t know why I think he’s lying. No, I do.

It’s because jealousy is the green-eyed bitch from highschool who still shows up in my life because she thinks she’s relevant to society.

That was mean. Unrequited love makes you mean. Side effect noted.

P.S. The deep stuff includes his past, his arm, his memory, his favourite colour. I dunno why that matters. It just does.

Nov. 17/20

Dear Jane,

Got out of the hospital today because of advanced technology and all that. Nothing’s left but a scar and residual soreness. James helped me to my room and said to call him if I had a problem.

I joked that he has a girlfriend and for some reason, he got really weird about it. It’s hard to describe. I dunno. Nat dropped by for popcorn and movies.

It’s 2:32AM. I’m wondering if he’s in the kitchen but I’m confined to bed rest so I don’t know. Also, Nat is asleep beside me and I don’t want to bother her.

Hopefully I can get up and move in a few days. Life is boring.

Nov. 24/20

Dear Jane,

Sorry we haven’t caught up in a moment. Work’s been hectic and I’ve been working overtime trying to make ends meet. Most days I’m in the office or lab, just trying to get enough things done so I can take time off come Christmas.

James stopped by tonight with Chinese takeout and some sweet buns.

He broke up with his girlfriend, too.

Guess that’s why he was being weird about it.

I tried being as casual as I could asking why, but he didn’t want to talk about it, so I asked why he came by. Couldn’t be for the company because when I’m in work mode, I just don’t talk and he knows that.

He said something about his arm feeling funny so I gave it a quick diagnostics check.

I think both of us knew his arm was feeling fine.

Everything is stupid, life is meaningless, and James’ lips are the prettiest shade of pink in the ugly lights of the lab.

I would very much like to have kissed him, but I didn’t.

Girl code.

It’ll probably be a while before I get another chance to actually have time and energy to write another diary entry. Christmas season’s coming close and Pepper is gonna need help with the party.

Yay, me.

Dec. 4/20

Dear Jane,

Morgan asked me in less eloquent words if I had a boyfriend (it was more like “You boyfriend?” But whatever. Who even taught her that word?) and I swear to GOD Nat could not make it anymore obvious looking at James.

Remind me to absolutely throttle her. I don’t care if she’s the infamous Black Widow. She has clearly never seen me hopped up on nothing but a negative amount of sleep and rage/embarrassment/spite/all of the above.

On another note, Pep asked if I was bringing a plus one for the party. I said I’d think about it. Normally I’d just take Sam but he has his eyes on someone at the VA and I like my friends getting laid so no go there.

Might just go alone. I don’t know.

Pep said I should take James, but I don’t really think she knows the truth about that situation. Luckily, Tony instantly rejected the idea and said he’d find me a date if I couldn’t.

Thank the universe for at least placing me in the close circle of the most well-known and richest man in the world because he also gave me his card and said go wild.

He knows me so well. I’m thinking about Christmas shopping when I have another free day, and I’ll pay for that with my own money, of course, but clothes shopping is a free market.

I cannot wait.

Dec. 12/20

Dear Jane,

I wish I could show you my haul, but I got so much stuff Happy had to drive to help me. Besides obvious gifts, I also managed to snag a gorgeous dress for the party.

Thoughts on black and gold?

I think it’s beautiful. Hopefully Nat and Sharon think so. We’re having a girls night tonight and showing off outfits, so that’s exciting.

James asked if we could meet up tonight.

I told him I had plans and he looked so downcast.

I dunno. Everything feels weird between us. Like we’re fine, we’re best friends still, but something’s changed when no one was looking. He’s single now. I guess that energy is different because I had gotten used to his energy with ex-Girlfriend.

I don’t exactly mind but it’s not ideal either. I miss summer. It’s much less complicated than winter. Winter, one has to worry about wind and chills and snows blocking roads, black ice, dry skin, freezing fingers.

Summer: there’s just a lot of sun, wind, bugs, and the vaguest notion of being bored.

Look, I love winter. It’s my favourite season. It’s quiet and gorgeous and dreamy, even though it gets dreary in New York. The snow falls slowly sometimes, Christmas is gorgeous here, and I’d rather be cold than sweating buckets, and there are no bugs to bother me. Also, it gives me a good reason to stay in the labs or in my room where it’s warm and toasty.

I just miss the relative simplicity when James and I were just strangers on the edge of being friends, which is, in retrospect, a selfish reason to like one season and hate another.

Well, some philosopher somewhere probably said something about humanity being selfish.

Dec. 16/20

Dear Jane,

T-minus nine days until the party.

No date in sight.

Maybe I’ll ask Anderson from HR. We had coffee together a few times and he’s nice. Good catch: smart, not too bad looking, and really nice. I’ll head down tomorrow and ask.

Alpine had purred when I told him my plan and headbutted my hand, so I guess I got the Alpine-Seal-of-Approval.

Dec. 17/20

Dear Jane,

Operation: Ask Anderson from HR to Tony’s Christmas Party failed. Granted, it could’ve been because that was a god awful title and that that name, in itself, prophesied catastrophic failure, but also because I was accosted by my best friend.

I wish I meant Sam.

Nope. James caught me in the elevator and we made small talk. Sounds fine, right? Then we turned the topic to the party. Talked about clothes and prospective celebrity appearances and drinks and food. Just about everything, so might as well turn to talks about dates, which meant I had to explain why I was in the elevator in the first place.

Going down to ask Anderson ended in James revealing that he didn’t have a date either.

He doesn’t know who Anderson is, which I thought would be the case, and he popped the question before the doors opened.

Notice how I said “didn't” have a date.

Guess who’s going to the party with James, clearly stated as friends, platonic soulmates, etc.?

Me.

Yippee.

Dec. 18/20

Dear Jane,

It’s 3:42AM and I’m in the rec room as usual. I was gonna not write here today but it normally helps me sleep to just write a bit, get what little thoughts are in my head out. Yeah.

I hear James in the kitchen talking to Alpine and it’s making me smile like an idiot.

Oh, shit, he knows I’m in here. He’s making milkshakes.

I am morally obligated by best friend duties to join him.

Goodnight, Jane.

Dec. 24/20

Dear Jane,

I’m not sleeping with James Buchanan Barnes tomorrow night.

This is a resolute promise. An early New Year’s resolution.

Dec. 25/20

Dear Jane,

Merry Christmas!

In between jovial festivities, I’ve finally found a little nook that’s quiet enough to write in. We opened presents, had a big family breakfast, went skating and just lounged around, and frankly, I’m exhausted. Need to recharge the old social battery.

Among the assortment of gifts is one that stands out to me. James got me a gift that said “Open When Alone” and I did before I started this entry and it was a fucking necklace. Like, a gorgeous one. It’s gold and thin and it feels wonderful. There’s a little cat paw charm on it and it’s so pretty because he has a matching bracelet for himself and I have still not yet recovered.

It’s just so sweet and it reminds me why I love him.

Yes, love has made me unbelievably sappy. I just heaved the biggest sigh in history.

Unfortunately, I have to go earlier tonight. To the party, as written in previous entries. I remember my oath of one-night celibacy and I intend on keeping it, despite how fucking endearing this gift was, because he said it best: we’re just friends. I’m not about to coerce my best friend into sleeping with me out of a piteous, unrequited love. That’s just gross.

You will either see me hungover tomorrow, or very drunk later tonight. It’s all very depending on how this night turns out.

Dec. 26/20

Dear Jane,

Fuck.

P.S. He REALLY does not mind me calling him James. Take that as dirtily or as clandestinely as you wish.

Dec. 27/20

Dear Jane,

I spent the entire day in bed with very pleasurable company.

I am SO GLAD we haven’t gotten called in because James doesn’t leave unless to go to sleep in his own bed or to eat, and I do NOT want to explain to the team that James fucked my brains out for two days straight because my heart is bursting.

He’s a good kisser. His lips are soft.

Intimate knowledge of that is now burned into my memory for future reference.

God, this is a dream come true. He doesn’t even question it, he just

It’s like I’m a goddess to him. He treats me like one, at least, and it’s like he’ll do anything I ask. And we act like it’s normal, too. Midnight trips to the kitchen included.

Best Christmas ever.

Dec. 28/20

Dear Jane,

I feel like I’m ignoring you but I’m also having the best sex of my life. He’s just… so fucking good and it’s a holiday and holy shit my mind is blown.

Love at first meeting isn’t real.

Well, maybe this one time, it was destiny.

Dec. 29/20

Dear Jane,

It isn’t just the sex, you know? It’s the pillowtalk, too. He just makes me laugh so much and everything is so easy between us and it feels real. Popcorn and chips in bed, some mojitos, just each other’s presence. It’s enough like that, you know?

Some quote about how the one you love should be both your lover and your best friend is in my head but I’m too lazy to look it up. James’ head is in my lap and he’s just reading while I’m writing and everything seems perfect.

He doesn’t ask what I’m writing because he knows it’s private and I trust him.

This is perfect.

I think I really am IN love with him.

Jan. 1/21

You know that cliché/tradition of New Year’s kisses?

WELL THEN.

Best (and worst) New Year’s ever. I’ll explain more later. I’m too tired and too angry and also sore and bruised.

See you when I’m not hungover.

Jan. 5/21

Dear Jane,

I’m finally stable enough to write.

In a crazy turn of events, Barnes and I got into a fight because of what happened after New Year’s Day’s events: I caught him leaving before I woke up and at first, curious questions ensued, and it wasn’t a fight but then it became one and I don’t even know how it happened. I wasn’t even mad. He just started being weird and I got annoyed and we tried and failed to keep our voices down. Luckily, my room is pretty soundproof.

Things just got out of hand and I feel like tearing my hair out. I wanna storm up to him and just yell some more.

Tony came into my room and didn’t say shit about my hickies and the fact that James is avoiding me like the plague. He gave me a really good hug, though and then gave me a few weeks off extra. I don’t know how he knows, but then again, it’s Tony.

He just said love’s tough sometimes.

Yeah, tell me about it.

I’m thinking about just taking a long vacation and disappearing. It seems like a good route to take at this point.

Jan. 6/21

Dear Jane,

James is looking at me right now as I write this. I wonder if I should look back or if he’s going to come up to me. We’ll see.

I’m only writing this so it seems like I’m busy. I’m running out of things to say, honestly. Can he just go? What’s the point in staring like that? What’s the point?

I could ask myself the same question. What’s the point in loving someone who’ll never love you? Yeah, he’s sleeping with me but he pulls away every time I try to do something more. Outside the bubble of my room and the small time frame of post-11PM to around 4:45AM, he acts like he’s allergic to intimacy.

It was never like that with ex-Girlfriend.

Maybe it’s something to do with me.

I don’t know, but he keeps looking and I want to get up and leave, but I won’t. I’m not gonna let him win.

Jan. 6/21

He didn’t. He just went out. Sam and Steve asked if I was okay because as soon as he left, I got up for the bathroom and screamed into a towel.

I don’t think either of them knows what’s going on, but they have a notion.

Jan. 9/21

Dear Jane,

He apologized. Still no explanation as to why, but it feels weird.

I told him I’m going on a vacation to Switzerland. Go skiing or something and asked if he wanted to come.

It was stupid to ask, but he said yes.

Shit.

Jan. 14/21

Dear Jane,

Switzerland is lovely.

No work is relaxing. Awkwardness between me and the other traveller on this vacation. Weather’s supposed to be nice when we get there. Sunny snow days, pretty mountains, other Swiss things.

No other comment.

Jan. 21/21

Dear Jane,

I lasted all of a week.

Yep, I slept with him again, and yes, he was back in his hotel bed come sunrise.

I dunno. I’m over it. We don’t apologize and hope everything gets back to normal because neither of us want to say anything to ruin it any further and we both have a major fear of the complicated. To be fair, he said he didn’t want to sleep with me if I was completely against it.

Also, I tried calling him Bucky at dinner like ex-Girlfriend (and everyone else) does and he made the most disgusted face.

He said, and I quote, “Bucky? When did I stop being James?”

I told him I was trying something out and he said it failed. Snarky bastard.

I guess if he’s still James, that must mean I’m still special.

That’s the Tony-inherited ego talking.

But it does make me exceptionally happy to play with the idea that I’m special to him. Best friend with convoluted benefits. Sounds like the title of a very long-winded self-help book that doesn’t really help much but that does sound like the story of my life so I can’t complain too much.

We’re going home in a few days.

I’ll probably sleep with him again. Bet Steve’s shield that I do.

Jan. 24/21

Dear Jane,

I get three Steve’s shields because I was right every single fucking day.

He’s like a habit I can’t quite kick and don’t really want to.

We snuggled afterwards last night. His arm was around my shoulders, we were naked, I was resting my head on his chest. For a moment, it felt like something couples do and then I fell asleep and woke up alone.

Quantum physics is easier to understand than this but I think we’re being mutually exclusive right now, so it’s almost dating.

I dunno. I don’t mind it anymore. It’s better than nothing.

Feb. 2/21

Dear Jane,

I’m absolutely miserable.

I’m still getting laid, but that’s not related. Correlation and causation or something.

Why is New York so dreary and when can everything just stop?

I don’t know. Winter is ending and now it’s in that awful transition phase between seasons and it’s mucky and rainy and disgusting. Tony got these limited edition ice cream flavours though so I’m gonna ask James if we can make milkshakes out of them or something.

He doesn’t like the muck either. That’s not really relevant, I guess.

Feb. 14/21

Dear Jane,

I got flowers and chocolate from the department because I think they can sense I’ve been in a bad mood since forever. Then, there was an anonymous delivery and inside was this gorgeous chain bracelet that matches the necklace sort of. I lied and told the department it was from Pepper.

What a wretched holiday.

Yours truly.

Feb. 18/21

Dear Jane,

Normally, when boys get their haircut, they look ugly for a day or two after.

Not James.

He got his hair cut shorter and he looks really good. Like unbelievably good. Short hair fits him just as much as long hair does.

No other observations.

Feb. 25/21

Dear Jane,

It was Morgan’s birthday party today. James came in one of those brown jackets with the sheepskin wool inside and he looked so good. We mainly stayed apart to prevent any dalliance because one does not disappear from the Madame Secretary’s birthday party and the team doesn’t really know what’s happening behind the scenes except for Nat and Tony, really.

I really wanted to kiss him in front of our friends. I caught him staring a few times, and every time, the smile seemed to vanish off his face.

I’m lying in bed and it feels pretty empty.

It occurs to me that I’ve been in love for a pretty long time and I’m not even in a relationship with the guy.

Energy could’ve been devoted to so many other things and I’d hate being in love if it weren’t for the fact that it’s James.

Again, love making me sappy and all that.

Feb. 28/21

Dear Jane,

Jane is such a common name. Some would call it plain yet it means gift from God.

I wonder if James knew that.

Mar. 10/21

Dear Jane,

It’s James’ birthday. Birthday sex is a requirement and a desire. I also got him a gift which is a pair of new black Timbs. I hope he likes them. I’m excited for cake, I guess. Morgan did my makeup but I’m gonna have to wipe it off for the small little party tonight.

I think, ordinarily, I’d be in knots because it’s James’ birthday and I love him and he’s my best friend, but I just don’t know. March is fairly boring and contemplative and rainy. Work is work. Helen Cho did a presentation on her Cradle technology. Very cool.

Mar. 20/21

Dear Jane,

It’s raining and doesn’t feel like spring. Alpine vomited on my bed a few days ago because he’s not feeling well. James and I took him to the vet and he’s on antibiotics. Poor boy. He’s sleeping in the corner of my room right now while James is away on a mission. I think I’ll just work from my room for a bit until he’s feeling better.

Nothing much to report, which is why I didn’t write anything. The month passed by too quickly. James should be back by the end of the month. I miss him and not because of the sex. No one else who doesn’t work for me or pays me listens to me ramble on their own free will. Talking to screens just isn’t the same.

April 1/21

James got back really early this morning and I, by tradition, was awake. I sort of wish I wasn’t though. In true April Fool’s tradition, I made fun of him for being a day late to which he genuinely apologized. I told him to shower and get to sleep but he was in that mood where you’re so exhausted you’re wide awake.

James suggested we make really strong cocktails for each other as a celebration for an extraction mission completed successfully.

Who am I to say no to celebrating?

He really likes grapefruit juice so I made a REALLY strong Grapefruit Paloma. He made this really interesting drink that was purple and tasted like oranges and cranberries. A lot of blue curacao was in it so it was pretty bitter but it hit like a fucking truck which is probably why I didn’t understand anything he said at first.

He told me he loved me.

I think, somehow, he managed to get drunk after the Grapefruit Paloma and two more bottles of vodka. Don’t ask me how because Steve NEVER gets drunk. Maybe HYDRA-brand serum is faulty? I don’t know.

I asked if he knew what date it was. He laughed really loudly, said no, realized, stuttered apologies and then said it again.

It was the most perfect sound in the world and it was the best moment in recent history.

Or, the sickest practical joke.

Consensus not yet reached.

April 2/21

Dear Jane,

I asked if he remembered what happened yesterday morning.

He did not.

Sickest practical joke confirmed.

April 9/21

Dear Jane,

I’ve been avoiding writing because I’ve felt a whole lot of nothing. Everything is abysmal and James’ confession is all I can think about. Tony’s on my ass about slipping and he has half the mind to put me on paid leave until I get my shit together, both as the head of the department and as an agent.

Drunk words are sober thoughts, all that garbage.

I wish I could live my whole life drunk and honest. Maybe then I wouldn’t be in this situation where I’m stuck in eternal limbo with my best friend whom I’m in love with. Minus the drunk part.

Duty demands I return to this weathered journal until it’s finished so we’ll see. I might be back this month. Maybe not.

May 1/21

Dear Jane,

It rained a lot in April so now the flowers are blooming early. April showers bring May flowers. Guess it has some merit to it.

Limbo sucks. Its inescapable nature, its terrible facade of everything seeming fine when it really isn’t.

Of course, James still makes me smile, but nothing seems really okay when I let myself stop for a second.

I’m going out with Steve to a charity thing tomorrow. Should be a few hours worth of not thinking and free booze. Oh, and James and I made out in one of the quinjets after dinner today.

Felt weird considering we aren’t a couple, but it happened spontaneously as that is the nature of our relationship, it appears.

The cause also happens to be the cure of melancholy. Weird.

May 6/21

Dear Jane,

For context, it’s 5:23AM.

Went for a walk in Madison Square and then Central Park with James yesterday, although in my head it’s still today. We met up with Nat for some training at the gym. Got a bit mobbed by fans and the paps who asked if we were dating like we’re the tabloid’s biggest scoop.

We weren’t even holding hands, but I guess it’s just another reason why we shouldn’t be TOGETHER together in public.

We had another deep stuff talk again in bed after the usual business. I wanted to ask what this is between us and if he’s pursuing other options, because I’m not and I wanted to know if I should, but I also didn’t want to ruin the vibe.

He was in a good mood today, and seeing as sometimes he has nightmares, I thought it was best I don’t ruin it. He thinks I don’t notice but how do I not notice? He’s my best friend.

I kissed his cheek when he got up to leave and he kissed me goodbye on the lips.

I guess that means something.

May 17/21

Dear Jane,

In a moment of complete boredom, I listened to Imagine Dragons’ new album. It wasn’t too bad, to be honest, but Sharon thought it could’ve been better. Whatever.

May 22/21

Dear Jane,

Ran into ex-Girlfriend today. She still has that whole sunshine thing going on still. We had coffee and she asked if I got together with James yet.

I choked on my coffee and nearly died on the spot.

That’s how I learned that James apparently broke it off softly and ex-Girlfriend had, very wisely and knowingly, said that he should chase the apple of his eye before I (the apple) rotted alone and forgotten at the trunk of the tree. Or, as any sane person would say (and ex-Girlfriend DID say), get picked from the tree by another hand.

She said it was quite obvious that I was in love with James even months ago. She also thanked me for being so nice, anyway, and that it must’ve been difficult. What a fucking SAINT.

I set her up with a date with Steve because they have the same energy, honestly, and that’s going down on the 26th barring any emergencies.

Call me Cupid, but I think I just constructed the perfect match made in heaven.

Mentioned this meeting to James minus the apple detail. He asked if she was doing okay, which she was, and seemed glad for that. Between kisses and his sneaking hand beneath the covers, he also asked if there was anything else. Not really much to say on that front.

June 3/21

Dear Jane,

It’s starting to dry up consistently, now. It’s getting warmer, too. Sam brought me flowers and told me to at least turn the air-con on if I was gonna be stuck in the lab all day. Oh, the simplicities of summer are hopefully returning. Got out early and hung out with Morgan at the park in the evening.

It’s nice to hang out with someone so blissfully unaware with the stupidity of love. All Morgan cares about is grass and buttercups she grabs from the ground. She doesn’t have to worry about how to tell the guy she’s in love with that she loves him.

Oh, didn’t you hear? Nat said I should just buck the fuck up and tell him.

And Nat is scary when not listened to.

Much to brainstorm about.

June 14/21

Dear Jane,

Just here to brainstorm some ideas for future Stark Industries projects and thought I’d preface it with a small diary entry. Nothing really happened. Work’s catching up for some reason and bad guys are acting up. I’ve pulled a few all nighters, not gonna lie.

Really tired, but in a good, productive way. Haven’t thought much on the James front. Gonna have to focus on that after everything calms down.

June 20/21

Dear Jane,

It’s officially summer and yet today was awful with only subtle hints of being okay.

So much for simplicity.

In the evening, I read on the hammock on the balcony. No one really bothered me except James, but he’s never a bother.

Steve and ex-Girlfriend (who will now be reidentified as Girlfriend) are pretty cute, and she meshes well with the group. There’s nothing really awkward between her, James, or me, so I guess two people’s summers are going well. Bully for them.

Didn’t really eat. Was too busy working. James got me dinner. Didn’t feel right and just kept working. This whole agreement between us has been very flexible but we really need to fit in a session soon.

I’ll make it work somehow.

June 22/21

Dear Jane,

I got my wish and didn’t at the same time. We spent the whole day in the sheets (very blissfully relaxing) and I, stupidly and with very little sleep, let it slip.

In less elegant terms, I told him I loved him. It felt very real and genuine and very-out-of-a-movie, but his reaction was less so.

What did I say? Allergic to intimacy.

He tried to play it off as best friends and even that was uncomfortable, but I, very seriously and very foolishly, corrected him that “no, James Buchanan Barnes, I am IN LOVE with you.”

He left a few minutes ago, saying something about heading down to the gym, but I know he’s just trying to avoid me.

God, how am I so stupid?

June 25/21

Dear Jane,

I haven’t seen James in a few days. I thought he was avoiding me but turns out he’s out of the country. Something about protection for whatever dignitary is travelling at the end of the month. I don’t know.

I wasn’t assigned to that op so the details weren’t shared liberally. Sam just said it’d be a while during the ambassador’s entire stay. High threat level which is why the Avengers were contracted.

I just hope he stays safe. I know he probably took off to take his mind off things, but I don’t know how he’s focusing when all I can think of is those three little words.

I love you.

Seems so fake the more I hear it in my head, but his reaction was so real that I think I might’ve just irreversibly messed things up.

July 12/21

Dear Jane,

It’s been a hectic couple of weeks. If future me finds this with blotted words, it’s because I am indeed crying while writing this.

James was medically evac’ed last night and transferred back to New York. Helen Cho was flown in from her medical conference in Minnesota where she was showcasing the newest version of the Cradle.

There was an assasination attempt and James is fucked up bad.

Holy shit, I’m so scared. I’ve never been so scared in my life. It’s like an invisible demon has my heart in his claw-like hands and he’s squeezing with all his might. I think my heart might explode.

I just want to hold his hand but he’s so high risk no one’s allowed to see him right now.

The waiting room is too quiet. Steve’s holding on to Girlfriend’s hand so hard I think her bones are broken but she’s taking it like a champ. Nat’s pacing, slowly patting a sleeping Morgan who she’s carrying. Sam and Tony are talking about stuff.

It’s too quiet.

I’m so scared.

July 13/21

They got him into the Cradle. Thank God. I think I might cry some more out of relief, but he was conscious for a few minutes earlier and he’s stable now.

It’s really late at night but they extended privileges to me to stay with him so I’m just sitting here, writing. Listening to the Cradle do its thing and the monitors do theirs.

When he was conscious, I was with him. He said some stuff under his breath but the one thing I could make out was “I’m an idiot.”

Granted, he’s right. It was supposed to be Steve or Tony on that mission. You know, people with more defense op experience, but he had to go out and volunteer himself.

I feel sort of guilty.

It’s partially my fault, isn’t it?

I think I’ll try to tuck in for tonight. I wanna be awake when he wakes up, too.

July 14/21

Dear Jane,

James woke up today. He’s still in the Cradle (lots of internal damage spread throughout the body) but he’s conscious. He saw me and immediately tried to sit up which was sweet, but when he couldn’t, he just told me to come closer and then told me that he loved me.

I called him an idiot for running away. I told him he really scared me. I told him that I loved him so fucking much. I told him that I feel so guilty and he just held my face and said that it will never be my fault.

He’s so fucking romantic, even when he’s lying down with a wound being stitched closed live in front of my eyes.

Oh, and he kissed me. I don’t think I noticed how much I actually missed him until that moment.

I don’t know how to describe the feeling in my chest. It’s a mixture between super happy and super scared and super, super warm inside. Summer might be looking up.

July 18/21

Dear Jane,

We got home today. James is staying in my room. The team doesn’t say anything about it. We’re best friends, after all, but I think they’ve known for a long time that there’s something more. Some of them are just too polite to say so.

I won’t have much time to write over the next couple of days. James has to be kept on a strict, extremely healthy diet and medicine regime.

I don’t care. I’m just glad he’s home.

He’s kissing me a lot more, now. Alpine likes the fact that his two humans are now in the same room. He purrs so loudly, I can hear him from where he’s dozing, curled up underneath James’ chin. He (James) is resting after his second round of antibiotics for the day while I work from my room, and sometimes I catch myself looking back just to make sure he’s okay.

I’m going to go kiss him now.

Be right back.

July 21/21

Dear Jane,

It’s almost Nat’s birthday (the 26th). Super exciting. James is back on solids and I’m helping him around with walking. Even with the Cradle and the healing factor, he’s still super banged up, so it’s better safe than sorry.

We had a really long talk about love and stuff. It’s good to finally have it out in the open. It was mostly me talking about my side of things and he just nodded a lot. I know he was listening though.

We also kissed a lot, like seventeen year old couples who are heavy on the PDA, but within the privacy of my room. I dunno. I like the heat of his arms and the way he kisses the shell of my ear when he’s bored or it’s a commercial break.

It feels very natural.

I am very much in love with him.

I tell him that and he always looks skeptical, but whatever. He doesn’t have to say it back (I tell him that there’s no pressure) and he’ll get it through his thick skull eventually that he’s now stuck with me.

July 25/21

Dear Jane,

We made cookies in the early AM as tradition for the party tomorrow and I told him that I love him (again, but this time he didn’t run, nor has he the past few times. Fantastic).

While the cookies were baking, he explained everything on his side of the story: how he was scared to be vulnerable, how opening up to me is just different and new and scary and I get it. I really do. I know how it feels to think you don’t deserve good things and sabotage feels like the only way to save everyone from hurt.

He smiled a lot more after that. I guess he’s just glad I get it.

One day, I’ll successfully convince James that he deserves everything good this world has to offer.

Until then, I’ll just keep trying.

P.S. He said, with less hesitation than the first time, that he loves me, too. Best. Day. Ever.

P.P.S. The cookies are so good and I want to devour them all. I could barely stop James from eating all of them. Again: Best. Day. Ever.

July 26/21

Dear Jane,

In summary of today:

Happy birthday, Natasha.

James has been given the clear bill of health which is exciting. Also, I asked him about the Jane and gift of God thing.

He knew. “Intuition” and all that. He also said I looked “like a royal dame” in my swimsuit. Smug idiot just trying to be charming.

I love him and that’s the only reason it works.

Back to the festivities.

July 27/21

Dear Jane,

Good morning to you and to James who’s still in my bed at a ripe 6:23AM, fast asleep.

Progress. Now, back to sleep.

July 27/21

Dear Jane,

It’s now 9:49AM and James greeted me with orange juice and waffles. He said I was cute when I slept. Creep.

He also said he tried so many times to stay in my bed after, before we were like we are now, but he never could, and now he’s upset that he missed out on my cute sleeping/waking up for the day face every time he did so.

He is exceptionally cute when he’s pouting.

I think we’re officially boyfriend-girlfriend, but we’ll work out the semantics on that later. For now, it’s another summer day together. He suggested Chinese takeout for dinner because I have to go dip back into the lab later today to check on some samples.

I agreed and he kissed me in promise like it was our “thing.” I can’t stop smiling like an idiot.

Massive progress.

July 28/21

Dear Jane,

He told me I was the only one for him.

Also, he kissed me in front of our friends for the first time. Natasha yelled “FINALLY” and pushed us into the pool. Sam laughed and then I grabbed him and threw him into the pool. Ensuing: a water fight for the ages.

For a day: 10/10

July 31/21

Hey Jane,

I think I’m happy.

I’m sorry I ever doubted the effects of writing down my feelings.

James has a romantic trip to uptown planned for our first date and he said it’ll take the whole day so I thought I’d get this entry in the morning. I dunno. It’s really early and the happy thought was the first thing that came to my head.

Weird, but it’s a good weird.

See you in a bit.

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obeymefictionwriting · 3 years

Text

Open Wound

It’s been a while since I wrote a big fanfiction so here you go. This time it’s dedicated to Beel and I shall warn ya - it’s a bit darker tha my previous works. No violence or gore but a focus on psychology and inner problems.

“Oh no, not again!”

I heard Satan’s voice far from the kitchen and shivered. When Satan was not in the mood (which, to be honest, was almost always the case), it was better to keep away from him. I’ve witnessed numerous times how quickly he flew in rage and honestly I was feeling sorrow for whoever of the brothers made him lose his temper.

I wondered what made him so made this time but then my D.D.D. rang.

“New incoming message to the HOL chat: Beel, stop eating ALL food in the fridge! Now we are out of food for dinner so go and get some!!!!”

Uh-oh. I bet Satan, as usual, wanted to get a light snack in the middle of his reading marathon and all he saw was an empty fridge. But I didn’t feel bad for Satan - I was actually worried about Beelzebub.

I get it, he is the Avatar of Gluttony and all. But something really wasn’t right about the amounts of food he consumed. Like, how can one possibly eat so much? And why?

I knew Beel too well to buy a simple “the Avatar of Gluttony” answer. I knew how passionate he could be about sports or about movies and music. And I’d never believe that he’d constantly feel hungry just because he is the avatar of gluttony.

I went to Beel’s room because I wanted to see him and I also wanted to join him on the shopping trip. Luckily, he was alone in the room. Belphie must be napping somewhere else and it was probably the attic.

“Oh, it’s you!” Beelzebub gave me a big smile. “I was worried it was Satan who’d come to scold me again.

“Mind if I join you for shopping?”

“Sure. I love spending time with you and was actually planning to ask you to come with me.”

We sneaked out of the house and headed to the store. While in the store, I firmly took over the shopping list. I gave in though when I saw the way Beel stares at some delicacies. “I think Lucifer won’t mind” I murmured as Beel was loading the shopping cart with packages.

“Phew that’s a lot,” Beel said enthusiastically as he easily grabbed all our bags. Once again I was amazed at how strong and cheerful he was. Seems like he never had a time of weakness: at least I couldn’t remember him whining, complaining, or showing a moment of weakness. Always reliable, always happy, and always…

“GRRRRRRRR.”

Hungry. Of course.

“Sorry,” He looked embarrassed. “All this shopping made me hungry. Mind if we stop by Madam Scream’s?”

I didn’t mind at all as I was craving something sweet. When we arrived, the place was crowded as usual but the owner, Madam Scream herself, saw Beel and gave us a wide sincere smile.

“Isn’t it my favorite customer!” She said, approaching us and hugging Beel. It was a funny thing to see, considering the woman was quite short and Beel was twice as big as her. He hugged her back carefully as if concerned about hurting her but she didn’t seem to notice.

“My boy, you always lift my mood. How about a small cozy table right there?” And she showed us a comfortable-looking table in a dark isolated corner. In this way, almost no one could hear us and we could observe the whole cafe as if being invisible.

“That’s great, thank you!” Beel beamed with enthusiasm. “Can we have two of your famous milkshakes for the start?”

She smiled again and left, leaving two menus on the table. We sat down and Beel immediately grabbed the menu and began studying it. Once our milkshakes appeared on the table, he took a large sip and looked at me happily:

“I’m just so glad I’m here with you and sharing my favorite food”, he said.

I felt guilty for a moment as I was about to ask him an unpleasant question. But if I didn’t, it would keep bothering me. So I took a deep breath and blurted out:

“Beel, is there a reason you eat so much? Except for you being the Avatar of Gluttony, of course. I just feel… I feel there is something more to it. Sorry if I’m wrong. And sorry for asking.”

As I was looking at his face getting darker I really blamed myself for asking. Like, what’s my problem? It’s his life and his appetite doesn’t seem to do any harm so why did I even bother?

He’s been silent for quite some time and I was about to open my mouth, apologize and think of a way to make it up but suddenly he spoke.

“Guess I should tell you. Nobody knows, even Belphie, because this is something I never wanted to share with anyone. But I feel I can trust you. Just promise you won’t tell anyone.”

I nodded and he continued:

“Remember I told you how all three of us - me, Belphie, and Lilith - would go to the human world? I really liked it back there and what I loved most was a small pastry shop in the corner of some empty street. I remember not many people went there because they preferred bigger shops but that one was my favorite.”

His voice suddenly became sadder and I saw something in his eyes that I’ve never seen before. Was it… grief?

“There was this girl who ran the shop. She was really cute and the first time she saw me, she laughed really hard because I ate almost everything they had. Of course, she had no idea I was a demon, and still, she wasn’t scared of my appetite - she was entertained! And this fascinated me so much that I… I didn’t feel as hungry as I usually did. Instead, I was feeling all sorts of different feels: interest, happiness. Love.”

As he admitted it, I was stunned. Of course, I knew how soft and caring Beel was but I never really thought about his love life before. For me, he was a real family guy who’d spend all his time on his family and sports. And all of a sudden, it turns out there was a human girl whom he loved?

He continued:

“I started visiting her almost every day and she was really happy to see me. She’d bake special pastries just for me and I’d tell her stories about different countries and worlds. She called me a storyteller but she loved listening to them.

I’d carry her around a lot and she was as light as a feather. I remember the way her skin smelled: vanilla and something flowery. She’d hug me really tight, scared that we might fall, but she trusted me completely and more than anything I cherished her trust.

As we grew closer, she was telling me about herself and her family. I learned that she has a small brother and that her parents were too old to run a shop so she took care of it instead. I even met her brother and he taught me how to play football. Can you imagine: a six-year-old boy teaching the team captain of Devildom? It was hilarious!

Of course, my brothers were suspecting something but all of them thought I was just drawn to human food. All, except Lucifer. He clearly understood what was going on but just let it be… Only once did he say: be careful because humans do not last long. But at that time, I didn’t care.”

He stopped and took another sip of his milkshake. When he looked back at me, he had tears in his beautiful violet eyes.

“And then she was gone. I didn’t visit the shop for a week or so because we had an important game. When I came to the shop, rushing to see her, there was an old lady at the counter. She saw me looking surprised and said “Oh, must be the boy Yuki told me about!” She then broke into tears and said something I never expected.

Yuki had cancer and… and she left me. She left her family and me. And I was busy playing the game and never ever thought she was struggling all this time. After all these years, I feel so guilty still. And food just reminds me of her.”

As he said it, my eyes were full of tears too. Now everything was clear to me: his uncontrollable appetite and the constant willingness to help others. He didn’t want any of his loved people to get hurt again. And he was using food to forget about the past.

“Oh Beel,” I took his hand. “Is there any way I can help you? I’m so sorry. And sorry for asking.”

When he looked at me, I was surprised to see that something changed about him. Something I couldn’t quite tell…

“After keeping it inside me all these years… Talking about it is what helped me,” He said. “I feel as if something heavy was lifted from my chest. I will remember Yuki forever, of course I will. But now I feel… liberated. You understand what I’m saying?”

“I do. And you can always talk to me whenever you feel like,’ I said, stroking his cheek.

Beelzebub smiled and I felt relieved.

“And to be honest, I don’t feel like finishing my milkshake,’ he suddenly said. “Let’s go home instead. Satan must be mad so we better bribe him with food.”

He stood up and held out his hand to me. As I took it, I felt his fingers squeezing mine. And I knew what it meant. He was thanking me.

#obey me! shall we date?#obey me #obey me beel #obey me beelzebub #beelzebub imagines

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uh-drarry · 4 years

Text

Previous Part

Drarry gets some pets!

-Draco had talked about wanting a cat, and thought maybe they could rescue one. So he and Harry decided to check out the local animal rescue, not really expecting much from their first trip there.

-They didn’t really find a pet that called to them and they were ready to leave after cooing over all the cuties when something white and fluffy caught Draco’s eye.

-He got so excited and Harry was just very confused at what was happening until he actually deciphered Draco’s fast babbling and saw what Draco was dragging him towards.

-It was a white ferret.

-Draco was so goddamn excited and it was obvious he wanted the ferret so so bad. Which Harry thought was both hilarious and adorable.

-“I thought you wanted a cat.”

“Why would I want a normal cat when we can get this adorable noodly cat instead?” Draco stared at this ferret with heart eyes and Harry knew they would be taking the noodle home with them.

-Only they don’t get to take him home. It turns out that the ferret had only recently been brought in after it was found outside so there is a waiting period to see if the original owner came to collect the ferret they lost.

-Draco was obviously worried that he wouldn’t get to keep the ferret but they put their names down, luckily they were first on the list, so they would be notified when the ferret was either claimed, or when they would be able to come take their baby home.

-Draco talked about wanting the ferret their entire walk home, worrying and hoping.

-Harry tried his best to reassure Draco that they would be able to find another pet if this one was taken, at least if that happened, they knew that the owner loved the ferret. Draco reluctantly agreed and Harry silently hoped the ferret wasn’t claimed so Draco could get the pet he really wanted.

-About a week later, Harry heard Draco answer a call and then a minute later he was yelling and running down the hallway toward him. Harry was afraid something bad had happened until he registered Draco’s giddy smile and bright, excited eyes.

-”Harry! The ferret! We can take him home!” Draco yelled and he lept into Harry’s arms.

-”Oh my god, Draco! That’s amazing!” Harry caught Draco in a tight hug while Draco continued talking to the person on the phone.

-They told the rescue they could come get the ferret the next day as they needed to buy supplies before they could take the little guy home. Harry and Draco immediately ran to the pet store where Draco pulled out a list of supplies they would need that he apparently had been researching over the last week.

-They got everything and some toys and made it home for dinner and they were able to get everything set up for the next day before they needed to head to bed that night.

-Draco then realized he has an all day class requirement the next day, but Harry promised to pick up their new baby and bring him home so he’d be there when Draco returns.

-Draco was reluctant, but he really couldn’t miss this class so he agreed to have Harry do this for them. He’d have all evening to play with their new pet after all.

-Draco was almost too giddy to fall asleep, he kept talking about how he’d never had a pet and he couldn’t wait any longer, but Harry got him to calm down, and then finally to fall asleep.

-The next day Harry made his way back to the rescue to pick up the ferret.

-As he’s waited for a worker to be free to put the ferret in the travel cage he brought, he happened by the reptiles he didn’t even see last time they were visiting. Seriously, how big could this place be?

-He was looking in all the habitats when he saw a ball python that looked like a toasted marshmallow and immediately fell in love like Draco did with the ferret.

-He didn’t have anyone to talk to about it with unfortunately though. Not like how Draco babbled his ears off when he saw the ferret. Harry just watched the little guy and wanted to hold it.

-Honestly he didn’t know the first thing about taking care of snakes but he always thought they were cool and cute. And okay, he really wanted to take this cutie home. They could handle two pets right? One would technically be Draco’s pet, and one would be Harry’s pet! Perfect!

-When the worker came to get him for their ferret and to fill out the paperwork, he asked her how one is supposed to take care of a snake and what kind of snake is this little guy? He wants to know everything she knows about snakes, please and thank you.

-The worker was very accommodating and told Harry everything she knew and then went to get the worker who knew the most about the reptiles. Harry then asked even more questions. They made a list on his phone of things he would need and how much of what and how big a tank would have to be to hold this guy.

-Harry just kept getting more and more excited the more they talked about it.

-Harry, knowing he had nothing for snakes, just like with the ferret, asked if it would be possible to put a hold on the little guy so he could go make a habitat at home for it before he took him home. The rescue gracefully allowed it and Harry was, again, even more excited.

-He almost ran out without the ferret or filling out the paperwork, but he wouldn’t tell Draco that.

-Finally though, he signed off and was able to take the ferret home for Draco.

-When they arrived home, he got the ferret into his new pen with his toys to wait until Draco arrived. He didn’t want to overwhelm the poor guy so he just sat outside of the pen to watch him explore his new home. And maybe he gave him a treat or two.

-While they waited for Draco, Harry started thinking about the snake again.

-He decided he would surprise Draco in a day or two when he would be able to take the next pet home. It would be more fun that way. Draco had another full day of classes soon when Harry didn’t, he could set everything up then.

-Draco arrived home about an hour later and he immediately ran to where they set up the pen for the little guy.

-”Dionysus! You’re home!” He crouched outside of the pen, sticking his hand inside so the ferret could come and sniff his hand.

”Dionysus?” Harry asked.

”Yes that’s his name. Ferrets are mischievous creatures and also very entertaining. Dionysus is the Greek God of wine, vegetation, pleasure, festivity, madness, and wild frenzy. I thought it would fit well.” Draco looks very proud of himself.

Harry snorts, “Okay, babe.” But I’m definitely only calling him Dion, or maybe Noodle, Harry thought.

-Watching Draco play with Dion for the next hour was very entertaining, but eventually he got up to start making them dinner.

-When Harry called Draco for dinner and he didn’t come, Harry went back to the ferret pen only to find the two curled up and sleeping together.

-Harry was immensely happy they happened by the little guy, Dion and Draco just seemed to be made for each other. White ferret, white blonde man, a match made in heaven, obviously.

—

-Dionysus was a mischievous bastard.

-It had only been two days, and both Harry and Draco already loved him to pieces but damn.

-The little guy was somehow able to get out of his pen and they had woken up to him sleeping in their bed in the morning (draped over Harry’s face, heaven knows how he didn’t wake up, Draco definitely took like 50 photos), he stole socks, and he was great at hiding, which was terrible for them.

-Oh, he also somehow knew how to get on top of the kitchen cabinets? Draco and Harry were seriously considering the fact that their new ferret was actually a wizard in hiding.

-Each time they thought they had fixed the pen escape problem, he somehow proved them wrong when they turned their backs. It was honestly quite amusing and they didn’t mind terribly, but they needed him to be contained while they were both out so they still needed to figure out what to do. They were thinking about just giving up and basically ferret proofing a room as much as they could and shutting the door while they were both out.

-The socks had been disappearing at an alarming rate, but they finally caught him in the act a few hours later and chased him to where he’d been hiding then behind a dresser. They keep their socks put away in the hamper now, *cough* Harry.

-They also quickly learned that treats were a great thing to lure him out of his hiding places but also they didn’t want him to gain too much weight and have a vet yell at them for it. So they did their best to find him themselves first. They hoped when he was used to his new home that maybe he’d calm down somewhat. But that was a test of time.

-”Maybe he needs a friend.” Harry said to Draco on their second evening with Dionysus. They were watching him run around the room, and sometimes he kind of played fetch.

-”Babe, I don’t think we can handle two of these things. I’m already exhausted from one ferret.”

”That’s true. Maybe more toys to keep him occupied.”

“He’s already got tons.” Harry just shrugged. He didn’t want to give away the surprise of the snake he was planning on bringing home tomorrow while Draco was away for the night visiting his Mum.

-The next day after Draco had left, Harry got Dionysus into his room with water and his toys, closed the door, and then made his way to a local pet supplies store. He needed a lot of stuff in a short amount of time.

-He was about a quarter of the way through the list he had acquired when he realized he really couldn’t do this on his own. Draco had helped with all the ferret supplies, and this was even more than that had been.

-He called Sirius.

-”Hey pub, what’s up?” Harry smiled at the old nickname.

“Hey Dad, I need your help, are you busy right now?”

“Well, I am in the middle of working on a prank for Remus, but that can wait. What do you need from me?”

“Oh god, I can hear the glee in your voice, what are you doing to poor Pops this time?” Harry didn’t know if he should laugh or warn Remus. Probably the former.

“Well... I may be sewing the flies of a pair of underwear shut. Embroidering more like, actually. He gets dressed in the dark mostly so I figure he won’t notice this and then he’ll have pretty little designs, and a little signature of my initials when he’s trying to figure out what the fuck is going on.” Harry is laughing loudly in the middle of the pet store by the time Sirius is done.

“Good one, Dad. I won’t warn him, that’s pretty harmless. But you should embroider his initials or name on the back of that pair too like Moms used to do.”

“Harry, this is why you’re my favorite child. Maybe I’ll embroider my own initials there so people know he’s mine…”

“Sure Dad, okay. Anyway, could you meet me at the pet store by my place? On Claps Gate Lane?”

Sirius gasped, “A puppy?!”

“No, Dad, sorry. Something a little less furry. But I need your help getting supplies. I’ll tell you all about it if you meet me here.”

“Okay okay, I think I can get there in about 15 minutes. See you soon, Pup!”

––

-After Sirius had found him and Harry had finished telling him about Dionysus and him now planning for a snake, Sirius demanded he meet the new babies. As Harry had been planning to pick up his snake that day, he agreed as long as Sirius helped him set everything up.

-Sirius ended up calling Remus over to Harry and Draco’s place to meet the animals as well as help set up and it turned into a bit of a fun disaster. Harry took some pictures of Remus and Sirius meeting Dionysus and sent them off to Draco before he pulled Remus away to help him set up his snake enclosure. The sooner they got it done, the sooner he could go get the new baby.

-When they got everything done, with some minor mishaps, Harry left them to play with Dion and told them he’d be back soon.

-When he got to the animal rescue, the workers actually recognized him and moved to go get his snake right away while another printed out the forms they’d have him fill out before he could leave.

“Do you know what you’re going to name him yet?” asked the woman who brought over the snake in the traveling carrier.

“Well,” Harry started, looking at the snake fondly before moving to finish the forms, “he looks like a toasted marshmallow, I was thinking Toast.”

The woman chuckled, “Not Marshmallow?”

“Well that’s just a bit of a mouthful. And my boyfriend named the ferret we just got from here, Dionysus. I figured we needed one simple name.”

“Dionysus. Oh my god, that’s such a good name for a ferret though I love that. God of Madness, tell your boyfriend he’s a genius.”

“I think I won’t, I don’t need to inflate his ego. But thank you. Honestly, I’m sure he won’t like the name Toast, and he’ll pick some just as outrageous a name for this little guy too.”

-Soon enough Harry was driving back home with his new baby in the seat next to him. He was so excited to surprise Draco.

-When he walked through the door, Sirius came running. “Let me see him! Let me see him!”

“Okay okay, let me just put him in his habitat so he can start getting acclimated and then you can look all you want.”

-Sirius followed Harry, acting like the child in the relationship. But they both admired the little guy after he was put in the tank.

-”Have you named him?” Harry and Sirius both jumped, not having heard Remus walk up behind them.

“Gosh, Remus, you scared us!” Remus just smiled sheepishly.

“Yes, though I’m sure Draco will call him something posh, but I’m naming him Toast. He looks like a long toasted marshmallow. I think it fits.”

“I can definitely see the resemblance,” Sirius chuckled.

Remus smiled, “Your new pets seem to be a great new responsibility for you two, I think you’ll enjoy them both. You’ve always been weirdly fascinated with snakes, it only makes sense that you’d get one as a pet now.”

“Please tell me Draco’s reaction to the snake when he gets back.”

“Yeah okay, Dad, I will.”

“Siri, we need to get going if we’re going to meet Minnie on time for tea.” Remus told Sirius.

-They all got up to walk to the front door and say goodbyes, and then the two of them were gone and it was just Harry and the two new pets.

-He immediately ran back over to the snake to watch it with fascination.

–

-When Draco was set to be home any minute, Harry was waiting in the living room, bouncing on his toes. First because he hadn’t seen Draco for a while, and second because he wanted him to like their new snake. Toast seemed to be settling in easily enough. He spent a lot of time under his little shelter but Harry saw him out on the heated area sometimes too. Every time he did, he knew he had heart eyes and a big smile.

-Harry had also been playing with Dion too and he was perhaps calming down just a little bit. He seemed to like one of the balls they’d got him the most. He also liked sleeping in his little hammock, of which Harry had taken many photos.

-When Harry finally heard the key in the door, he ran over and engulfed Draco in a hug as soon as the door was open.

-”Whoa,” Draco laughed. “Hello to you too, I also missed you but I didn’t expect to get attacked before I even got in the door.”

Harry leaned up and kissed Draco. “I missed you and I’m excited to see you and I have a surprise for you!” Harry pulled him inside and shut the door behind him.

Draco raised a brow and smirked, “Oh? A surprise for me?” Draco moved his hands to cup Harry’s ass.

Harry retaliated with a pinch to Draco’s side and pulled away, “Not that kind of surprise.”

“Bummer,” he frowned, “What’s the surprise then, dear?”

-Grabbing Draco’s hand, Harry led him into the room where he had set up Toast’s habitat and beamed at Draco, bouncing once again.

“Oh my, what’s in here, babe?” Draco asked, leaning down to look into the tank, and then gasped and looked at Harry with wide eyes.

-Harry just beamed brighter, and finally burst out saying, “It’s a ball python, isn’t he so adorable!?”

-Draco just looked back at the snake who was curled up under the heating lamp.

-”Draco?”

”Harry. He’s very cute. But also, don’t snakes eat rodents?”

”Yeah?”

“Aaaand Dionysus is a rodent?” Draco looked back at Harry with slight concern in his eyes.

“Oh! Well… his food is baby rats. Not ferrets. I don’t think he’d be able to eat Dion, he’s too big for him?”

“Hmm. We’ll just have to keep an eye on them. To be careful. But to answer your first question, yes he is very cute, he even looks toasted. Have you named him?”

Harry chucked, “His name is Toast.”

Draco rolled his eyes in fond exasperation, “Of course that’s what you chose. But you are wrong! His name is Damocles!”

“Damocles? What the hell kinda name is that, Draco? I knew you’d pick something ridiculous.”

“Damocles is a perfectly respectable name, thank you very much.” Harry just shook his head in response.

–

-The next day Harry had taken Toast out of his tank to explore a little. Harry ran to the next room to grab his camera while Toast was chilling on a couch cushion when Draco came running in asking if he had seen Dionysus anywhere.

-Immediately on alert, Harry headed back to Toast to put him back in his home and help Draco look when what he saw stopped him in his tracks.

-”Oh my god, Draco! Come here!”

-Running into the room, Draco asked if he’d found him already.

-Harry just pointed to the couch. Toast was curled into a ball for protection while Dionysus sniffed all around the poor snake. But then Dion apparently decided Toast was acceptable and ended up curling himself around the snake to take a nap.

-”I don’t know whether to be worried, or to melt from cuteness overload.” Draco whispered.

“Definitely the second option, they like each other!” Harry whispered back, but Draco’s face immediately turned to horror.

“Oh my god. Harry. They’re going to be absolute terrors! Dionysus is already a handful of mischievousness, and now add a snake to the mix?! Oh my god, I changed my mind, I’m terrified for my sanity!” Harry just laughed at Draco’s dramatics.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine, Draco. Maybe having a friend will calm Dionysus down?”

–

This is for @bisexualronaldweasley for putting up with my shit and yelling about snakes with me for like a month. The vote was a tie so I ended up choosing to post a headcanon first. I will be posting a social media post soon though, I promise. I also might end up doing a part two of this as well. I hope you all enjoy this!

Masterlist

@pan-and-ready-to-stan @spaceaas @abstractundefined @afanbloglikeanother @potatoloveisreal @textrovert-01 @tashkib @itsskylover23 @it-would-set-me-on-fire @panicfanatic-malfoy @drarryruinedme7 @charlenasaxen @vici-l @sweetlialia @devilrising @eruditeslytherin @molfoy-potterx

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hopeassassin · 3 years

Text

Rally’s Scribbles in the Work

So after that lovely anon blew my mind away with their kind words and wonderful support, and because I keep telling you guys about my writing plans without actually giving you even a teensy little detail, I have decided to stop being coy and actually likely get your hopes up a bit by dilvulging small details and bits of plots of what is currently going on in my G-Drive.

This will be a brief recount of what I have currently baking in the AoMomo oven, so let’s dive right into it! Please note that the numbers are in no particular order - I just keep revisiting each of these stories and writing a bit more to them whenever I feel like it. So there’s no ranking and no importance, just a number to keep proper count.

1. “Knight of Renown” Dragons and Knighthood AU, based on that one AoMomo pic with Momo ithe Knight and Dragon Aomine that I reblogged a while back and I actually let me imagination go a bit too much in the tags. I ended up actually rather enjoying the premise I set up in the tags so I actually started writing that one out! Completion rate at about: 5%? I’d say? Less? :D

2. AoMomo Music AU - a dearly beloved project that I am pouring a lot of love and attentioin to. That’s why it’s coming along super slow. It’s been in the making since November and I chewed it and mulled through it so thoroughly that I’ve grinded to a halt with it. Intending for there to be 2 chapters, and I am at about 25-30% of chapter 1 currently ready currently. At the pace I’m going, it might be another full year before you actually get to see this bad boy up, but when you do, I’m sure you’ll see all the care and effort that went into making it perfect. Honestly, no joke here, I am intending for this to be one of my rare masterpieces in this tag. So I’m not gonna rush it!

3. AoMomo Car Accident AU where Daiki barely manages to save Satsuki from being run over by a hit-and-run and ends up being the one run over instead. This was my first piece of writing after coming back to AoMomo last summer and yet completion rate is a sad thing. I want it to be flawless, a perfectly agonizing, thrilling type of torturous read that gives you a great sense of relief by the end of it. Needless to say, the clusterfuck of negative feelings is a bit difficult to hold onto for a prolonged period of time and the work is coming along slowly. Planned at about 5 chapters, I have 2 complete ones and the 3rd one is at about ... 30%? Hopefully before this year’s whumptober, we’ll have a finished piece!

4. AoMomo bond character study, which went in a direction I did NOT expect nor intend. It was suppsoed to be an idea that you will see also listed below. But I started this one from their early childhood and somehow, instead of focusing on the kids and their bond and their weird interactions with each other and their first moments of realizing they are of opposite genders, it turned into something much too fun to let go of and the ideas for scenes just kept piling. It’s going to be a long one, very explorative and very in-depth character study on the bond between these two and how it changed over the years, and their first encounters with their sexuality inbetween (because that was really the main idea that I started with... xDDD;;;) Currently at 1 chapter complete, chapter 2 somewhere around 50-60% completion, and at least 6-7 chapters to come after that, soooo.... :’DDDD YEAH. THIS ONE AIN’T SEEING THE LIGHT OF DAY ANYTIME SOON.

5. AoMomo deciding to practice stuff on each other, because I am a sucker for this trope.THIS will be what the idea under previous number 4 was SUPPOSED to be like, but it instead spun out of control. So this one, under number 5, is going to be the smutty, idiots bumbling through physicality to discover that they actually have serious feelings for each other kind of piece. Chapters are planned at about at least 6-7 or so, but not my usual monstrocities! :D First we start with practice kissing, and we move our way up from there!

6. “The Evil of Humanity” AU - a dystopian futuristic kinda mecha AU, sort of an amalgamation of some of my favourite anime in the genre - a bit of NGE, a bit of Gurren-Lagann, a lot of Darling in the Franxx rewrite and improvement, in distinctly AoMomo colors. I poured a lot of thought and love into initial outline of main moments for this one, and I really hope to make it an epic, thrilling action/adventure with a big dash of romance kind of read! Chapters currently not even planned properly, because I need to sit down and consider this seriously. It will definitely be more than 10-15 though, and they will be my usual chapter lengths so.... likely no time soon. :D

7. Aomine Fanclub - I got a plot bunny some time ago and I shared it here and my friends were spurring me on with it, so I started trying it out a little more. I’ve written out like... maybe 30% of this one as well, but need to re-read and reconceptualize to get it back on track. The issue with this one is that I’m not really sure where I want to take it, thus it’s on the back burner at the moment.

8. KagaKuro AoMomo double-date kind of story, where Aomine is asking some curious questions of Taiga about going to America and pondering if any of his immediate friends know what Satsuki wants to do with her life. I’m really invested in this one but haven’t started properly writing it out yet beyond just sketching out the idea so I don’t forget it. (I’d say 1% complete here.) Really looking forward to using the idea of Kagami being super impressed with AoMomo perfect sync when playing as a team in arcade games!

9.Laws of Attraction Chapter 2 - You might be surprised at this, but I’m actually super invested in this one. Likely the reason why I am delaying so much working on it - I feel like all my great scene ideas are just too chaotic and I have a hard time starting the chapter flowing properly. I had like 4-5 false starts already and I’m feeling a bit skittish with picking it up. But I have such AMAZING concepts on where to take it after it revvs up the engine, so... Maybe sometime this year! Completion rate: 0% written, but at least about 30% ideas built up for the installment!

10. AoMomo college rooming together story - sort of an expansion on my fill for one of the prompts way back those years ago in AoMomo week. I really dig the concept and the trope of sharing spaces with someone you consider nothing more than a friend and then gradually learning to appreciate each other for something so much more. I am definitely doing this one some day, but not anytime soon, likely.

11. A random idea bit me the other day (read: a month ago) and I actually wrote out like... maybe 25% of it already as well. A random comment from Wakamatsu miffs Satsuki but then she realizes why he’s asking dumb questions and she comes to realize that something is wrong with the equation: either Dai-chan likes someone really close to them and she hasn’t realized, which is unlikely, or Dai-chan likes HER and is super blase about it in a way that betrays his feelings not at all, which is even more unlikely. Being a curious individual, she sets out to find which it is! Some hilarity should ensue but mostly just some mess-with-Dai-chan fun!

12. Touou summer training camp at the sea - progress is practically 0, I wanted to write a summery piece and set my mind on this, but nothing beyond has come to me, so I’m not forcing it.

13. AoMomo cultural festival fic in second year of high school (meaning something approx end of Oct -> beginning of Nov.) with Daiki being in a distinctly Haruhu Suzumiya role at that festival (has anyone even seen this anime? I adored that episode to freaking bits, man, it’s engraved upon my soul) and singing Billy Idol’s “Rebel Yell” and one more song just like Haruhi did. And Satsuki just beholding the phenomenon he becomes in no time flat while he lays bare his passion for life for all the student body to see. Shippiness will happen in private afterwards!

14. You Can Leave Your Hat On Chapter 2 - Probably like 2-3 years ago while I was still in the damn woodwork and wrestling with real life and adulting being crap, I remembered this AU premise and I got super hyped on the idea of Club Owner Dai-chan being a flirt with innocent Satsuki who got dragged to his joined and fell in love at first sight with his shenanigans. I’ve already played around for like 7k words with the second chapter of this but I’m still not where I want to be at, so it will take a while longer to flesh it out.

15. Idol Worship - a story that I promised my mate aricana some 6 years ago the premise for which I am super hyped for but not quite engaging with it yet. The idea was that Momoi finally starts gettiing the dates she has been pesting Kuroko for for years, and Daiki feeling terrible about beholding that, whilst Kise is being pestered by Horikita Mai for a date and instead ditches her with Daiki because he knows his former Teikou classmate is a huge fan of her. Mai-chan isn’t particularly happy but somehow ends up enjoying her time with Daiki and starts considering actually pursuing him instead of Kise when she sees what an interesting soul he is, with the torch that he’s carrying for some girl in his life he doesn’t really talk about but is evident from the little things he drops off as hits. AoMomo shenanigans will start to ensue properly when Satsuki realizes that Daiki is actually having a close female friend who is not her but is Horikita Mai instead, Dai-chan’s perfect woman, practically. She doesn’t take well to the news and has to grapple with why that is! And what to do with these newfound frustrating emotions!

16. Obstruction of Justice Chapter 3 - MAYBE SOME DAY, I WILL GET TO WRITING THIS. Last summer I inteded to do just that but instead, Wild Side of Justice was born. And it became a spin off of sorts on its own. ORZ. I WILL FINISH THIS SOME DAY, I do have some plans for it and I do have the desire to pursue them. I just need to be in the right headspace for it ahsjkfhkjaf

17. A PWP story of Kagami arriving early for a practice match at Touou and somehow walking in on AoMomo getting busy with each other in very unexpected and explicit ways that Kagami did not see headed his way. Because, we need more PWP in this fandom, honestly.

18. And since we DO need more PWP, recently when checking the 30 lemons community on LJ (shut up, I’m not ancient, YOU’RE ANCIENT) I was wondering how exactly a smut plot around the “Taken by the Faceless Stranger” could work for Aomomo and I came up with this Masquerade ball that they end up both attending because of their friends and meeting each other and hitting off fantastically just chatting the night and then banging in a niche in the long castle-like premise of the ball. :’DDDD Cuz it’s me and if I don’t have something like that in the works, you know i’m likely sick.

ALL OF THESE I am planning on eventually finishing one day. ONE DAY!

For now they are in various states of completion and in various stages of being cared for and improved on with more ideas added and fleshed out.

I am not joking when I say I am very invested in this fandom. I just have difficulty getting to writing out these ideas when I spend like 60% of my free time playing my mobile games. :D

So there you have it. I didn’t want to say anything about these because 1) I don’t want to get your hopes up. You Can Leave Your Hat On 2, for one, has been in the making for 3 years, very on-again-off-again kind of way, and I just... can’t do that to you guys. I have decided against posting any incomplete fics so I don’t torture you guys and my muse doesn’t abandom me forever for them. So when something is complete, it gets posted promptly for your viewing pleasure!

And 2) If I divulge too much of the story, I feel like my hype of it may disappear completely. Ehh, my muse is a willful creature, what can I tell you...

So let’s hope at least SOME of these get to see the light of day soon!

#my scribbles #here you have it #a rather complete list of incomplete AoMomo stuff I'd say #Rally's works in the making #tagged as:#AoMomo #because it's all AoMomo #sorry for spamming the main tag with nonsense #Kuroko no Basuke #will I ever finish any and all of these?#here's to hoping!#a little bit insider info from the kitchen #fanfiction #writing

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angelinasway · 3 years

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Regaining Hope Chapter Seven

Pairing: Clark Kent/Buffy Summers Warnings/Triggers:Torture, Violence, Mention's of Major Character Death, Bad Language, Sexual Tension, Eventual Smut, Mentions of Sexual Assault Summary: Takes place during Man of Steel. When Buffy discovers the U.S Military trying to keep quiet about an object buried in a twenty thousand year old glacier, she immediately thinks the worst. However, when a surprise visit to the Canadian Arctic puts her in the path of a mysterious stranger her whole world is changed forever.

Previous Chapters: [Chapter One] [Chapter Two] [Chapter Three] [Chapter Four] [Chapter Five] [Chapter Six]

[TTH] [AO3] [FFN]

Authors Notes: Thank you all for your amazing and wonderful reviews. I do need to address something though, when it comes to reviews, I honestly don't mind anyone critiquing me when comes to grammar, characterization, or even if its kind of a heavy subject and someone feels like they need to debate me on it. That is absolutely fine, for instance I knew I would get a few blocks and even someone asking about the religious views of this story. I do not mind that. I do however mind, if you think I'm a decent writer, but then proceed to belittle the content of my story. I'm going to try to say this as absolutely nicely as I can...If you don't like the content of this story, if the talk of soulmates, soulbounds, or claiming is not for you, if the romance of this story is not for you, kindly back out of this story now and please just don't leave a review. I will say that anyone who's been in the BTVS fandom long enough already knows what a Claim is pretty much a fanon canon, since its been around our fanfiction community since like 2002 at least. Wesley mentioned Angel and Buffy being soulmates in season one of ATS, so that is actually canon. I say this in the nicest way possible, because sometimes I think reviewers who don't write, do not realize how much a review about content can actually screw with our muse and inspiration and I believe there will be at least a handful of people that do write who will agree with me. That being said, this chapter took as long as it did for me to write because of a bad review, so I'm sorry for the long winded exposition everyone. I know this chapter is a bit choppy and if it wasn't for my beautiful Beta Hipkarma, I'm pretty sure it would have been illegible. This chapter deals with some pretty heavy subjects and I added a warning tag just in case. I do not expect anyone to feel the way Buffy does on this subject, and if you feel the need I will gladly talk to you through pm about it. Thank you guys so much again, and please review, unless you know its an above subject and you hate it. Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter Seven

The plane arrived right on time as Clark anxiously awaited Buffy’s arrival outside the terminal. He’d felt this way since he awoke this morning and he didn’t know why. It was almost like that feeling you get when you know you’ve forgotten something.

He’d dreamt of her last night and it was so vivid and real that when he opened his eyes, he expected her to be there. The feeling had washed over him after that, like a sudden cold draft in a stifling room. He’d also been as hard as nails and had to relieve himself twice in the shower. His dream Buffy whispering filthy words into his ear as he imagined pinning her to the shower wall and driving into her hard and fast. It only seemed to make the feeling worse though. There was a pounding, an almost driving force that told him he needed to see her and that coupled with the lust, he couldn’t seem to shake was a dangerous combination that he did not enjoy feeling at all.

It was so strange, yesterday he’d been fine, more than fine really. He’d walked into his house humming and smiling. His mom had noticed his exuberant mood in an instant and raised her eyebrows in surprise, a curious yet knowing quirk in her lips. She had immediately started bombarding him with questions about his evening and Clark had been unable to deny her even a single detail. Well, there were definitely a few things he left out, but he told her everything from meeting Buffy at the school to him having to sing at Lorne’s. This was a first for both of them, Clark making friends and being able to tell his mom all about it. She listened intently, a happy smile on her lips as if this was something she had always wanted for her son. The ability to just be treated normally by people, even if they knew what he was. The more he spoke about how great Buffy was the more his mom’s knowing smile grew. He told her he promised Buffy that he would pick her up at the airport, and his mom had agreed to let him use the truck as long as he promised to take her to work before he left. She had a full shift at the diner tomorrow, so he was pretty sure he could make it back in time to pick her up and take her home.

Later that night, after getting off the phone with Buffy so she could go patrol, Clark had spent the evening on the internet looking up several theories and ideas on the concept of soulmates. All in all, it was pretty simple stuff, a soulmate could be a romantic or platonic relationship with a mirroring of the souls. Where, both their values and ideals deemed them a perfect match. He had even gone to a few sites on the mystical aspects of soulmates that seemed to be pretty legit, and they believed that when it came to soulmates not only were the souls similar, but both souls usually challenge each other to perceive themselves and the world differently. In essence, your soulmate could help you transcend into a higher state of consciousness. All of that seemed to match very much with what he had been feeling since the moment he met her. None of that however, explained how he felt now.

Buffy had been right the other day when she said it wasn’t just the soulmates thing. He was almost positive the out-of-control lust and the uncontrollable desire to be near her had very little to do with the fact that they were soulmates and everything to do with the prophecy. Something wanted them to consummate their relationship, and he was pretty sure that something had a reason. He wondered if he was in danger of meeting the other woman and somehow changing his mind about her. He definitely couldn’t imagine ever doing that though, not when he felt what he felt, not when she had consumed his thoughts so thoroughly since the day they met.

He felt physically ill at the idea of ever having to fight Buffy as an enemy, Lorne’s words about killing her making him nauseous and dizzy. The demon said it most likely wouldn’t happen now, but God, what if it did? What if he wasn’t capable of fighting off this mystery enemy of the future. He shuddered at the thought, his anxiety level spiking in worry. He had to get himself under control.

As the passengers began to exit the terminal Clark looked on, his eyes searching for golden hair and green eyes. When he finally spotted her the tension that had been growing in his limbs immediately eased. It happened so fast he almost felt boneless by the sudden release. Her eyes met his and a similar look of relief washed over her face, but there was something else there. She was scared, which just made the tension begin to build again. Clark frowned in confusion, but didn’t deny her as she ran to him wrapping her arms around his waist tightly as she laid her head on his chest.

“Are you okay?” He asked.

She shook her head and closed her eyes. “There’s something wrong,” She whispered. “I shouldn’t be feeling this–”

“I know,” he whispered. “I feel it too.” Clark shuddered, so it wasn’t only him who was feeling it. “I think it’s time we learn more about this prophecy.”

He felt her nod. “I’ll call Wes once we get to the safe house.”

****<S>**<S>****

The drive there had been mostly quiet. The only real sound was Buffy’s smartphone giving directions to their destination. He hadn’t been able to stop himself from reaching out and entwining their fingers however, and she smiled at him gratefully before closing her eyes and sighing. They finally arrived at what looked to be an unassuming house just outside of town that rested on a few acres of property. Buffy untangled their fingers and reached into her carryon bag that was between them and pulled out a large multicolored crystal.

“Here,” she said quietly. “Hold this.”

Clark, frowned but did as she asked. Watching her as she muttered the word, “Agnoscis.” The stone suddenly warming in his palm as he caught the house in front of him shimmer for a moment out of the corner of his eye.

“Latin?” He guessed.

Buffy nodded. “It means recognize. It’s so you can get through the wards.” She bit her lip, “We can also bring your mom here, in case you ever need to hide her you’ll have a place to take her that’s pretty impenetrable.”

Clark nodded gratefully, his eyes studying the sad expression on her face. He reached out and gently brushing the back of his knuckles down her cheek. Her whole body shivered at the contact, a small gasp escaping her lips.

“Are you…are you okay,” He asked.

She shook her head, “I think it’s affecting me more than you.”

Clark was quiet for a moment, and then he shook his head. “It’s not, I think I’m just a lot better at controlling my impulses.”

Buffy chuckled humorlessly, “Maybe, that’s something you can teach me sometime.” She met his eyes and Clark lost his breath at the want he saw shining there.

God, she was beautiful like that. Her eyes almost swirling with color and heat. His temperature immediately skyrocketed, his pants becoming tight. He wanted to ask her if there was anything he could do, but didn’t dare for fear of what her answer might be. She had already told him she wasn’t ready, and if he was being honest with himself, neither was he.

He swallowed, his heart beating in his chest. “Come on,” he whispered, opening his door and stepping out. “Let’s go make that phone call.”

He walked around her side of the truck as she fumbled with her seatbelt, opening the passenger door for her and holding out his hand. She took it gratefully as she slid out of the passenger’s side, hoisting her bag over her shoulder after her feet hit the pavement. Clark reached in the truck bed and grabbed the only other bag she’d brought with her. He wondered where her weapons bag was, but remembered she’d just went through an airport and realized she probably couldn’t bring them with her.

As if she was reading his mind, she said. “Willow was here last night; I had her ward the training equipment so that we can use it without destroying it.” She looked at him out of the corner of her eye as they walked up the driveway. Her hand fumbling with her keys as they made their way to the door. “I also had her fill the fridge and bring my weapons bag over.”

He didn’t say anything as he watched her slide the key in the lock and open the door. He followed her through a spacious living room that was tastefully decorated, through another door and into a modern kitchen. She slid her bag off, dropping it unceremoniously on the floor. She pulled out her phone next, scrolling through her contacts and hitting send before putting it on speaker. She set the phone on the island between them and walked to the fridge, leaning her back against it as she closed her eyes.

Clark wanted to go over and comfort her, but something in his gut told him that would be a very bad idea. She was putting distance between them for a reason and he completely respected that. Her sudden change however, worried him and he was beginning to think maybe she really was suffering more than him.

"Buffy?" A cultured British male voice answered after the first few rings.

"Yeah, it’s me." She said quietly.

"Is everything alright?" He asked, his tone worried.

"No, not really." She answered. "I think it’s time you told us about this prophecy."

"Buffy, I've already explained–"

“No,” She cut him off. “No Wes, you don’t get to do this. Not now. Something is wrong with me, I feel…” Her face went red, as she looked at Clark, “I feel like I’m on fire, I…” Her eyes moved to her phone and glared, a growl tearing from her throat in frustration. Her teeth clenched as she ground out. “I feel incredibly sexually frustrated, okay? Like a cat in fucking heat.” Her face went scarlet and she avoided looking directly at Clark. “Want to explain?”

There was a sudden choking sound on the other line, as a coughing fit proceeded it. “Good Lord, it’s happening already?”

The outrage in Buffy’s eyes, did something to Clark in that moment and he stepped forward his anger simmering under the surface. “What’s happening?” He demanded.

“Mr. Kent,” Wesley said in surprise, “I didn’t…I didn’t realize you were on the line as well.” Clark heard the British man sigh, “I’m sorry we were finally introduced this way, I had hoped to meet you in person. I’m sure you already know that I am Wesley Wyndam-Pryce and that I am head of the Watchers Council.” There was a pause, before he continued. “I do apologize for not telling you both sooner, but I had hoped we would have a few more days before the bond started to require a need to be fulfilled.”

“Bond…what?” Buffy’s face scrunched up in confusion.

“I don’t really understand it myself,” Wesley admitted. “But it’s written that once the Immortal Slayer and, I believe the correct term is Star God meet, a…I think the term is soulbond will start to form and a compulsion to fulfill it will start to take hold. Now, both Willow and I think we’ve found a way to counteract the compulsion, but I didn’t expect it would start to take hold so quickly. I do apologize Buffy; I had planned to have Willow bring me there tomorrow so I could explain.”

“What’s a soulbond, exactly?” Clark asked, “And how is it any different than being soulmates?”

“I honestly don’t know, there are very few references to what it is exactly. I imagine that much like soulmates there must be a similarity or mirroring of souls if you will, but unlike soulmates there is a need…a compulsion for a confluence between the souls. As far as I can tell, once that happens it would act very similarly to a claim.”

Buffy gasped and looked at Clark, her eyes wide and disbelieving. Clark swallowed, “What’s a claim?”

“It’s a…a type of marriage between demons, vampires in particular.” Buffy shifted uncomfortably and looked down. “It’s barely ever used now because its unbreakable, not even magic can undo it. It’s ancient and powerful and requires total trust and consent between both parties.” She met his eyes then, an apology shining through but Clark didn’t feel like he needed one, in fact he just felt very confused.

“That doesn’t make any sense, not after what Lorne told me.” Clark said with a frown. “If this bond is as powerful as you say then…” It was his turn to look at Buffy apologetically, “Then even if I met this other person first, wouldn’t the bond take hold when I met Buffy regardless?”

“I don’t quite understand what you’re referring to.” Wesley said in confusion.

Clark looked up at Buffy and saw suspicion in her eyes. “Lorne didn’t tell you?”

“Lorne doesn’t give me the details of readings Mr. Kent; he treats all his clients very much like a therapist treats a patient.” Wesley said, adding. “The only thing he told me was that you were the one the prophecy spoke of and that you were on the right path in regards to your destiny. What exactly did he tell you?”

Clark shifted uncomfortably, feeling Buffy’s eyes on him but unable to meet hers. “He said I had two very different futures, that Buffy was my soulmate but I have another as well and in this other future this woman dies and something makes me go bad.” He finally got the courage and looked at Buffy, her eyes were wide and burning with hurt and maybe a bit of jealousy. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, thinking he had ruined everything.

Buffy shook her head and swallowed, “Did he… did he say what would happen if you met her now?”

Clark nodded, "He said I'm a one-woman man, that it wouldn't matter."

She seemed to relax a bit at his words, her eyes softening and darting back to her phone as Wesley began speaking, "Then you are very correct Mr. Kent, if you met Buffy in this other future, it should have activated the soulbond whether you had feelings for this other woman or not. A soulmate is not always a love interest after all." He paused for a moment, "There are only two things that could have stopped it. One would be that you don't meet Buffy until this mystery foe had your mind or if you did meet her, she was already claimed."

Buffy gasped, and looked at Clark guiltily, “I almost asked him to claim me.”

A potent wave of jealousy and possession swept through him at her words. If she was referring to Angel, he was pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to control himself much longer. Not when the very idea of her being tied like that with someone else made his blood boil.

"What?" Wesley said, shocked.

"Spike, Wes. Not Angel." She clarified. "It was...it was right after we found Alicia. I knew it could make us stronger and I... I thought it might give us an advantage against Angelus. I never had the courage to ask him though."

“And thank every deity in the universe for that!” Wesley said sharply, “I don’t think you quite understand the repercussions that could have had on not just Clark’s future but your own.” There was a long silence, the only sound was heavy breathing before a much calmer Wesley finally said, “That kind of bond Buffy…think about what you did to Angelus and multiply it by a million. I was there that day you came through the portal after Spike died. You were almost feral; your Slayer was in complete control and she wanted to kill Willow for making her immortal. There was a part of her that already thought of Spike as her mate, and she wanted blood from whoever had wronged her. If you had been claimed and Spike died…” They heard him take a shuddering breath, “You would have burnt the world and then marched into Hell without a second thought in search of him. There would have been no stopping you.”

Clark watched Buffy shiver at Wes’s words, her eyes getting lost and faraway. His possessiveness grew at her words, but a small part of him couldn’t help but be curious as to what happened between the two of them and why she so rarely spoke about him. The book had only said that the vampire had killed two Slayers, and had tried to kill Buffy on numerous occasions. He had been hampered by some form of neurotechnology by the US Government and began working with her reluctantly. Somewhere along the way he had fallen for Buffy and regained his soul, sacrificing himself for the world once, where he was resurrected by a mystical amulet he was wearing when he died. The author of the book believed he’d been brought back by mistake and the amulet was meant to be worn by Angel, but there was also some speculation that Spike may have been the actual bearer of the Shanshu prophecy. The author however, was highly skeptical about this because Spike didn’t do what he did out of heroics, even with a soul he relished in the violence of his nature. The author believed that becoming mortal would feel more like a punishment than a reward for the vampire. It spoke some about his time at Wolfram and Hart, about his part in the fight against Angelus, and how he died saving Buffy a second time.

“I don’t…I don’t remember any of that.” She said quietly, wrapping her arms around herself. “Even what I did to Angelus, I only remember parts of it. I felt like I was outside my body looking at someone who wasn’t actually me, except I could feel what I was doing.” She shivered, and it took every bit of self-control he had not to go to her, especially when her voice cracked. “When I came to, I-I was covered in blood and…God, Wes there was nothing left but a torso and head. I…” She choked. “I even took his face.”

When a single tear tracked itself down her cheek, Clark couldn’t take it anymore and he rounded the island and pulled her into his arms, hoping she was too upset to be affected by the embrace, but not really caring if she was, not when he could feel her trembling in his arms. He understood now why she’d been so adamant the other day about her being wrong in the way she killed Angelus and about Slayers not actually being creatures of light but warriors for the light. He could never picture her being capable of such carnage even after hearing it from her own mouth. Then again, he could never picture himself killing her either or anyone else for that matter, not on purpose at least.

They heard a muffled sniffle over the line, before a choked sounding Wesley finally said, “Oh, Buffy, I never…I never knew it was that bad. We found the warehouse and the blood, so I did realize…but…not to what extent, and then you just disappeared and Willow couldn’t ever get a read on you. It was like you were blocking her somehow. Why didn’t you ever tell me any of this?”

Clark felt her shake her head, “I was ashamed.” She answered honestly. “Lorne’s the only one who knows everything, even the stuff I can’t remember.”

“Do you remember anything that happened before you captured Angelus?” Wesley asked cautiously. “I’ve always wondered how you did it, but was always too afraid to ask after the way we…the way we found you.”

Buffy sighed against Clark’s chest, her shivering increasing. “I think I let myself be caught,” she said quietly. “The only thing I really remember is being bound magically by Amy and then Warren tearing open my shirt.” Clark stiffened at her words, his whole body going rigid. She squeezed her eyes shut, her grip on him tightening. “Angelus threw him out of the way, and said everyone would have a turn, but he got to have me first.” Clark’s anger flared at her words, his fist tightening behind her back, he had to squeeze his eyes shut at the sudden heat he felt building. “I-I don’t know how, but somehow I was able to break through the magic that was binding me. Everything’s kind of a blur after that, but I think…” She frowned, her forehead crinkling in confusion. “I think none of the spells were working on me. I think…I think I killed everyone.”

Clark found himself sighing in relief at her words. God, just the image of someone trying to do that to her made him see red. Literally, in fact. He really hoped that something like that has never happened before, because he could already tell he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from tearing whomever did it to shreds. As horrendous of a way she killed Angelus, he couldn’t judge her for how she did it, not after hearing that. God, if she hadn’t been able to break the magic… He felt himself shudder.

Wesley was quiet for a long time, “I’ve always known that Willow brought you back stronger, but being able to break a binding spell with sheer force of will is extraordinary Buffy. We should have started testing this advantage years ago.”

“I try not to think about that day, Wes.” She huffed. “I don’t think the magic going wonky even occurred to me until this moment.” She was quiet for a few moments, before she finally said, "So what happens if I bond with Clark and I lose him too?"

Wesley sighed, "Well, I'm hoping since it’s your souls that are bonding and not your Slayer, that it will make quite a difference."

"You're hoping? That’s really not a guarantee, Wes." She said in annoyance, stepping out of Clark's embrace and leaning on the island. "And what’s to stop my Slayer from trying to initiate a claim? What if this soulbond thing isn't good enough for her? Lorne already said she's been looking for her mate since I was called. He said that's why I was so drawn to both Spike and Angel." She shook her head, "Well, according to this prophecy he's my mate, right? Or the closest she'll ever get to one. So, what's to stop her from doing what she's been wanting to do for years? I mean I looked up claiming in high school, Wes. As soon as I read the word, I was fascinated."

Clark stepped around the table so he could look at her. She seemed worried and deep in thought before her eyes met his and they softened immediately, a small smile forming on her lips as she studied him.

Then they heard Wesley sigh, "I honestly don't know. We've still not even translated the whole thing and we've been working on it for over a year."

Clark watched Buffy frown in confusion. "Is there a reason you haven't gotten Dawn in on this?"

"I'll give you three guesses as to why." He said sarcastically.

Buffy snorted, saying mockingly, "Aww Wes, you're not afraid of my baby sister, are you?"

There was silence on the other end of the line and then a grumbled, "I would rather face all the demons in hell than deal with Dawn on a tirade about you."

She chuckled and shook her head. "Well tough, because I want her in on this."

"But Buffy–” He started to whine.

“No Wes,” she said cutting him off. “I love both you and Willow, you know that. But, if there’s anyone in this world who will have our best interests at heart and give it to us straight, it’s her. I want her in on this.”

“Fine,” He groaned.

Then a smile broke across her lips and an evil look of mischief Clark was slowly becoming familiar with sparked in her eyes. “Plus, she already knows I spent time with Clark the other day and she knows he’s something other.”

“How on Earth did she find out about that?” Wesley said in surprise.

Clark smirked as Buffy’s smile grew. “I may have pissed Faith off by waking her and Gunn up with a cold shower. She ratted us out.”

There was silence on the other line, but she swore she could hear him shaking his head. “Do I even want to know?”

“Probably not.” She said chuckling and then sighed. “I’m feeling a little better now, I mean as far as the compulsion stuff goes.”

“Hmm,” Wesley hummed. “Perhaps it gets worse when you’re apart. I knew that you would feel a need to be around each other, but perhaps being away from one another has an even greater affect than I imagined. How about you Mr. Kent, how do you feel?”

Clark blinked in surprise. Now that Buffy mentioned it, he was feeling less uncomfortable than he had all morning. “Better, actually. It’s still there, but not as potent.”

“Then perhaps the theory is a sound one,” Wesley said. “However, to be on the safe side I’ll have Willow drop off the pendants she’s making this evening. They should be able to subdue most of the compulsion until you both feel ready to move forward with the bond. I would also recommend spending as little time apart as possible. I believe that the pendants are powerful enough to ward off the worst of it, however if this bond is as powerful as I think it is you very well might override the magics if the compulsion becomes too powerful.” He sighed, “I suggest staying there with Buffy for the time being Mr. Kent.”

Clark shook his head “That not going to work Mr. Wyndam-Pryce. I need to help out on the farm. While I was away my mom got behind on the payments and if we don’t bring in a decent crop this year my mom could lose it.” He looked at Buffy nervously. “You could stay with us though; we have a guest bedroom.”

Buffy nodded, “Yeah, yeah, that might be a good idea. I can help you with anything you need, and we can start your training in the afternoons.”

Wesley cleared his throat, getting both their attention. “I think you’re forgetting the contract, Buffy. He may very well not need to worry about that any longer.”

Buffy’s eyes widened, “Oh, yeah. I almost forgot. I’ll be right back.”

Clark watched her run out of the room as Wesley said, “Are you still there Mr. Kent?”

Clark looked at the phone, “Yes.”

“Good, I thought I’d go over the numbers for you and see if they’re satisfactory.” Wesley said. “I had thought of paying you as we would a hired mercenary or demon hunter, however since your role in the future will be pivotal to keeping this world intact, I decided you deserved what we would pay any Slayer, it’s only fair after all.”

“What aren’t you telling us about this prophecy?” Clark said, Wesley’s words telling him the man knew more than was saying.

He heard the man sigh, “I would prefer not to say at this moment. I already know how Buffy will feel about it, and I believe you both have enough on your plate with the bonding. I’ll tell you both, but she’s not ready to hear it yet.”

Clark frowned, “I don’t think you give her enough credit.”

“You may be correct,” Wesley conceded, “But I know she will not be happy about this, even if it’s a good thing. I, at the very least need to prepare myself for Dawn finding out, and she may very well tell Buffy even if I ask her not too. I do not believe either of you have long to wait.”

“Alright,” Clark said, “I’m going to hold you to that though.”

“Now,” Wesley said, just as Buffy walked back in the room. “How does two hundred-thousand a year sound?

Clark blinked in surprise, the blood rushing to his head. He couldn’t have possibly heard that right, could he? “I’m sorry did you…did you just say two hundred-thousand?”

“Clark are you okay?” Buffy asked, running to his side. “You look a little pale.”

He shook his head, “It’s…that’s too much.”

“No,” Buffy disagreed, shaking her head. “It really isn’t. Entering this world Clark… you’ll be putting not only your home but your mom at risk and no amount of money will ever make up for that.” She bit her lip and nodded, “Trust me on this, most demons aren’t stupid enough to mess with the good guy’s families, but the real big-bads, the uber-powerful demons, who’s only goal is destruction and world domination? Those demons won’t care, they’ll do everything in their power to try and hurt you, even if that means trying to break you.” She sighed, “It’s why I want your mom to have access to this place too. It will make me feel better knowing you can get her to safety if you needed to.”

Clark sighed, reaching out and sliding the small stack of paper out of her hand. “And what happens if I sign these and change my mind?”

Wesley spoke up, “You are not beholden to anything Mr. Kent, if you sign those and decide that helping the Watchers Council is not in your best interest, it would simply be like you quitting a job. You wouldn’t be paid anymore of course, but you would not be obligated to continue helping us either. However, with the bond beginning to form I’m not sure how you would be able to distance yourself from the Council or Buffy, but if you made that decision no one would stand in your way.”

Clark pulled out a chair and sat down, his eyes quickly reading it through. It was pretty standard stuff, nothing in it that had some sort of hidden agenda. He flipped the page and read through the rest before getting to the signature line.

“Do you have a pen?” He asked, looking at Buffy.

She went to a small drawer and pulled it open, grabbing one from inside and handing it over. Clark took the pen signing his name on the dotted line. “Okay Mr. Wyndam-Pryce, I signed it.”

“Very good.” Wesley said, “Now, I don’t suppose you’re up for giving him a tour of the underground facilities?”

“Of course.” Buffy said.

“Very well,” he said. “I’ll call you before Willow leaves, in the meantime try and keep your wits about you.”

The line disconnected and Clark raised his eyebrows in curiosity. “Underground facility?”

****<S>**<S>****

Buffy slid open the hidden panel in the wall of the master bedroom. She entered a number into the keypad and then looked up into a camera where it scanned her face, and slid her keycard into the slot.

The computer’s AI came online and a female voice said, "Good afternoon Miss Summers, what can I do for you this afternoon?"

"I need to give a new recruit security clearance."

"Name?" The computer asked, as Buffy removed her keycard and slid in the blank one Willow had left for them.

Buffy nodded at Clark and stepped away from the panel so he could stand in front of it.

"Clark Joseph Kent," he answered, stepping into the space Buffy had just vacated.

"Facial recognition." The computer said, and Buffy pointed up to the camera, indicating he needed to look into it.

Once that was done the computer said, "Four-digit pin."

Buffy looked at Clark and nodded, "Now choose four numbers you'll remember easily."

She watched as he thought about it a second before he put in his code. Once that was finished the computer said, "Thank you Mr. Kent, you now have full access to the Watcher Archives as well as all facilities. Ms. Summers would you like access into the rest of the building?"

"Yes," Buffy answered before the hidden wall shifted, sliding away and revealing the steel doors of an elevator that would take them down into the heart of the house. The doors slid open and Buffy removed the new keycard handing it to Clark as they stepped into the elevator, Buffy pressing the simple down-arrow button.

“We had these built in all the safehouses after what happened with Angelus.” Buffy said as way of explanation. “Or I should say, Wes and Willow did. I wasn’t really around for that.”

It didn’t take long for the elevator to reach its destination and the doors slid open. She could feel Clark’s eyes on her as she stepped out of the elevator and into the large steel control room. There were several monitors on the walls with keyboards on a stainless steel counter top that bolted into the walls along half the room.

“This is the control room.” Buffy said, “For safety reasons, if we’re ever in any code-red type situation, this room is always occupied in case someone manages to get past the outer wards. We can house up to thirty bodies here at a time and since most of us are a little something-other, we can at least hold off whoever’s broken in to give the rest of us a fighting chance to escape by sounding the alarm.”

She knew she was rambling, but she couldn’t look at him right then. It was just occurring to her all that she admitted to Wesley and what she’d said in front of Clark. He was going to ask about Spike, she could almost feel it. Of all the things Wesley could have brought up, it had to be claiming. She felt Clark move closer, and wasn’t surprised when she felt him place his hand on her shoulder as she rambled on about where the exits were located.

“Buffy?” He whispered.

She sighed and looked down, “Yeah?”

“Why…why don’t you ever talk about him?” Clark asked.

Her shoulders slumped at his words, but she still couldn’t bring herself to turn around and look at him. “It’s…it’s complicated.”

“Well then, I think you should try to uncomplicate it for me, because this thing sounds pretty permanent between us and I need to know if I’m going to be living in another man’s shadow.” He said honestly.

She spun around, her eyes meeting his in surprise. “God, no. It’s not like that at all. We were…” She sighed. “Maybe we should go into another room that’s more comfortable. This is a long story.”

Clark nodded at her and she turned, leading him through the heavy metal door to their left and down a hallway the AI illuminating the rooms as it monitored their approach. Buffy led him into a large rec room, a massive tv mounted to one wall with a standard sized couch in front. There was a card table in a corner and a pool table in another. A few pinball machines lined one wall of the room and a dartboard hung near a foosball table. She led him over to the couch, gesturing for him to sit before she wrapped her arms around herself protectively. She waited for him to sit down first, and sat at the other end biting her lip in thought, staring straight ahead into the black void of the blank tv screen, not sure exactly where to start. She figured the beginning was probably best, so she started there.

“When I met Spike,” she said slowly. “He was just about as evil as they come, or at least that’s what my sixteen-year-old-self thought. Though, I hadn’t had the pleasure of meeting Angelus yet, so I was a bit naive in that department. Anyway, his girlfriend-slash-sire had been weakened in Prague at some point and he came to Sunnydale to try and restore her and bag himself another Slayer.” She shrugged, “So, we pretty much started out as mortal enemies. We fought each other a lot that first half of the year, and he was a hell of a fighter. He almost got me on that first one, but incredibly enough my mom was the one who saved the day.” Buffy smiled in amusement. “Clocked him on the back of the head with an axe.”

Clark snorted in amusement. “Sounds like something my mom would do.”

Buffy smiled, “Yeah my mom could be pretty tough.” She shrugged, “Anyway, I ended up putting him in a wheelchair after dropping an organ on him during a spell that actually did end up restoring Drucilla. On my birthday I found out they were both still alive and Dru was reassembling an ancient demon called the Judge who couldn’t be killed by any man-made weapon. Me and Angel tried to stop it from happening, but we were both too late. That night I made the colossal decision of losing my virginity to Angel.” She looked at him out of the corner of her eye and sighed, “And just like that his soul was gone. Maybe that’s why I clung on to the notion that we were somehow destined for so long. I mean, the breaking of Angel’s curse literally states that only a moment of perfect happiness could release the soul. I guess I thought that if our love was enough to drive his soul away, it must be special.” She rolled her eyes at herself. “Honestly, knowing Angel it had more to do with him somehow feeling redeemed in me or it very well could have been that he hadn’t dipped his wick in over a hundred years. Whatever the cause, so began several horrible months of mental torment from a demon wearing my lover’s face.”

“And Spike?” Clark asked.

Buffy sighed, “Spike went through his own torment at the hands of Angelus and Drusilla. Spike really did love her, but her love compared to his was fleeting at best. He told me once how they would mock him for being wheelchair bound and Angelus would…well, he would fuck Dru right in front of Spike because he knew how much it hurt him. I think that’s when whatever destiny Spike had must have started. He came to me and made a truce in the hopes of getting Angelus away from Dru and also according to him, he actually liked the world and didn’t want to see it destroyed like they were planning.” She sighed again, “Anyway, that’s probably the first instance where I started to see Spike in a somewhat different light. Less of a danger and more of a nuisance if that makes sense.”

“Yeah,” Clark nodded. “I guess I could see that.”

“Okay, so skip ahead a few years, when I’m in my first year of college. I’ve seen Spike once in that time when he kidnapped Willow and Xander, trying to make Willow preform a love spell to get Dru back. Apparently, our little truce didn’t sit well with her and she dumped him.” Buffy shrugged, “We had one more real fight where we were actually trying to kill each other that year, and then a few months later the Initiative planted the chip in his head and then once again he came to us for asylum.” A small smile tugged at her lips, “We fought like cats and dogs that whole year. I think our bickering is partly what drove Giles to drinking so much. Then sometime during the next year when Dawn arrived and my mom got sick, he realized he was in love with me.” Buffy sighed. “It wasn’t a healthy love though, not even a little bit. He was obsessed with me. He had a weird shrine to me and he had, the super nerd Warren make a lifelike robot of me for reasons I’m sure you can guess.”

Clark grimaced before saying, “Is that the same Warren that–”

“The one and the same.” She interrupted. “I’ve dealt with some pretty gross demons before, but as far as Warren goes, he’s probably the worst human I’ve ever had to deal with.” Buffy sighed, “Anyway, as weird as Spike’s obsession with me was, he did some things that year that really surprised me. Things that normal vampires wouldn’t do, though I still to this day haven’t decided if Spike was the unique one or if Angelus was, because I know for a fact Spike isn’t the first vampire to keep a portion of his humanity after being turned.” She shook her head getting back on topic, “Anyway, he protected my sister’s secret when Glory tortured him for information and he promised to protect Dawn until the end of the world. When I came back the next year, I didn’t really acknowledge it at the time, but he was still there. Still looking out for my baby sister. It’s strange how you don’t see those things when they happen, but Spike loved Dawn like a little sister and he loved my mom too. For some reason he was drawn to us Summers women.” She sighed and looked at Clark. “I already told you when I came back, I went to a dark place.”

Clark nodded, his eyes studying her face. “You have.”

“I went to that dark place with Spike, I didn’t… when I came back, I was numb and I didn’t know it at the time, but my Slayer had gotten stronger. Part of me hated my friends, I was furious with them for bringing me back and expecting me to be happy about it.” She swallowed, “Spike became my confidant at first, he became my quiet solace. I could sit with him and just be… he didn’t…he didn’t expect me to just be okay like everyone else. I was the one who made the first move…we were under a spell at the time but that didn’t stop me from making a second move after it was broken. One night not long after our second make out session, after my Watcher decided I needed to learn to do things on my own and left, we got into an argument about the kiss and I hit him,” she frowned bitterly, rolling her eyes. “He retaliated and must have realized his chip didn’t fire. The next day, well he started a real fight with me. The first one we had since…well since our brawl before the chip.” Buffy could feel her cheeks heat up at the memory, “It was the first time I felt alive since my resurrection and one thing led to another and we…well we weren’t fighting anymore. At least not with fists. It was the first time I didn’t have to hold back and it was exhilarating.” She looked at her hands, “And the next day I told him how disgusting we were, and I was cruel and awful to him.” She shook her head. “I’m not saying that he didn’t give as good as he got, but I was always the one saying the cruel stuff first. I was awful to him Clark; I beat him once and left him for the sunrise. He was trying to help me…well, I thought I accidentally killed someone.” She pursed her lips, even the memory of Warren now days could send her into a rage. “I hadn’t, Warren once again was trying to fuck with my life, but both of us thought I did. He didn’t understand why I had to turn myself in, how much even thought of hurting someone innocent was killing me. I…I just snapped. I honestly don’t know how he managed to make it to safety on time.”

She didn’t realize she was crying until she felt Clark’s arms come around her. “He still had bruises a week later and vampires, they heal fast.” She sniffled. “Shortly after that my ex-Riley came to town and somewhat reminded me why being with a soulless vampire was a bad thing. I realized that what we were doing…we had to stop. I was using him and it wasn’t fair to either of us, so I broke things off.” Buffy shook her head, “It was hard, because I really did still want him, but I resisted. Some things happened, over the next month or two, my friends ended up finding out about us and one night, he showed up at my house. I was pretty banged up from a fight earlier that evening and he tried to…I’m not even sure he knew what he was doing…but he tried to rape me.” Buffy said quietly, she felt Clark’s arms stiffen around her, this was the judgment she’d been waiting for. “I kicked him off, and he was shocked at himself and then I said, ask me again how I could ever love you?”

She looked at Clark then, and she could see the anger swirling in his blue eyes. “That’s why Spike got his soul. He thought it was the only way he could be sure never to hurt me again. He wanted to be the man I deserved. He did it for selfish reasons of course, but the outcome of those reasons? It was worth it in the end, because he’s the reason we don’t still have a Hellmouth in Sunnydale California.”

Clark shook his head, “I don’t…how can you have feelings for someone after they…even if he didn’t, how could you have not wanted to kill him?”

Buffy shook her head. “Because love isn’t rational, because it can be beautiful or a nightmare, and unfortunately feelings can’t just be flipped on and off. I think if he hadn’t gotten his soul, I would have felt differently, and maybe I eventually would have stopped caring about him. You have to understand though…what he did, it’s never been done before. He fought against his nature and became something incredible for it. I think I would be kinda a hypocrite if I could forgive and still love Angel for what he did to me without a soul, but couldn’t forgive and still have feelings for Spike.”

“Your ability to forgive, Buffy…I think you might have me beat in that department.” Clark said.

She shook her head, “I don’t necessarily think that’s true. I don’t think I can ever truly forgive Willow for bringing me back, and you now know what I did to Angelus.” She sighed. “I really do think it depends on the transgression. Willow tore me out of Heaven, she made me immortal, denying me the peace and reward that all Slayers crave. Angelus went after people I love and he tormented and killed my sister Slayers, all of which were young girls, newly called. I know what Wes said, and part of its true, but Spike was just the catalyst, he was not necessarily the cause. It was my hate, my emotions guiding my Slayer, and it wasn’t the first time that part of me wanted to kill Willow nor was it only her that wanted to destroy Angelus for what he had done.”

“And the claim?” Clark asked.

Buffy sighed, “It was something that was swirling around my head for a while, and at first it was absolutely a hundred percent my Slayer. But by the time I started seriously considering it, that was definitely all me.”

Clark looked away, “You wanted to bind yourself to him for eternity.”

She was silent at his words; she knew what he was thinking and he was wrong. She remembered very clearly why she wanted to do it. “It…I really did want to win, Clark. I know you’re thinking I must have been head over heels in love, but… I loved Spike, I did and I still do, but not…It was the type of love you hold for your best friend, for the person who gets you more than anyone else. I’m not saying it wasn’t romantic in nature either, but it was a love that formed over time. There was no cupid moment. I knew we were compatible sexually; I knew he would never leave me, and I knew it would make us stronger. Claims, they don’t even require love to be fulfilled, just a mutual respect for one another and I knew we could make it work.”

Clark sighed, leaning his head against the back of the couch. “Why didn’t you then?”

“Fear,” Buffy said simply. “Fear of the unknown, fear that he would say no, and fear that he would say yes.”

She watched Clark swallow. “And you want to do the same to me?”

Buffy blushed. “I-I don��t know. Yes, I think so…” She was silent for a moment. Did she want to claim Clark? Her Slayer seemed to think so, but was that the prophecy or an actual want. She certainly didn’t want to lead him on, so she said “But I think it’s something that could happen in the heat of the moment.” She could literally feel her face heating up even more. “Just, if…if I ever bite you when we…and say ‘Mine’, don’t answer unless you’re willing to do the same.”

“I’m assuming when you say bite, you mean breaking skin.” He said raising an eyebrow.

“I do.” She admitted. “That’s basically what a claim is, it’s a symbolic ritual of sharing one’s life force, blood, saliva, semen. The mixing of your essence with another to create two halves of a whole.”

A slow amused smile broke across his lips. “That actually sounds kind of beautiful, if not a little messy.”

Buffy snorted, her own amusement growing at his analogy. “Anything else you want to know, before we continue our tour?”

His eyes slowly gave her a once over, before he shook his head. “No, I think that was more than enough for today.” He looked down, “It’s hard for me to picture you like that, being cruel I mean. Not when…not when you’ve been so nice to me. I don’t think I’ll ever truly understand anything you told me about him and you, and…and if I’m being honest, I can’t help feeling…” He looked at her seriously, his mouth set in a firm line. “Let’s just hope he doesn’t come back from the dead again, because I can’t promise I will be very nice.”

She found herself giggling at the visual. Dear God, that would be funny, especially with how quiet and reserved Clark was. Spike would drive him up the wall. “Oh, trust me neither will he, even with the soul he had the ability to drive just about anyone mad with rage.”

“Well, then it’s probably a good thing he’s not around anymore. I don’t think I’d like to be responsible for killing someone you cared about.” Clark said seriously.

Buffy rolled her eyes; he might be from another planet but he was definitely a hundred percent male. “Yes, Clark, lucky for you, you only have one of my ex’s left to contend with and he’s married.” She pushed herself away from him, grabbing his hand as she did and pulling him to his feet as she stood. “Now, come on, I’ll show you the training room.”

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ga-yuu · 3 years

Text

Invitation to an another world~Shigehira route

I had accompanied Shigehira-kun to Kyoto to help him with his work.

Shigehira: “Finally, we can go back to Kamakura.”

Yuno: “Thank you for working hard, Shigehira-kun.”

Shigehira: “Thanks to you too. It ended earlier than planned because you helped me a lot. If you’d like to have a look around Kyoto, we have some time before we leave. What do you say? You don’t seem to be familiar with the capital yet, right?"

(It’s true that I haven’t had time to go sightseeing in the last few days.)

(I’m glad you care, but....)

Yuno: “Thank you, but it's fine. I love Kyoto, but I can’t wait to go back home with you.”

I know from our previous conversations that Kyoto is not a place where Shigehira-kun has good memories.

In addition, since his arrival in Kyoto, Shigehira-kun has been busy with his official duties.

(I want you to return to the Imperial Palace early and take a rest.)

Shigehira(smiling): “.......Oh. It’s a glamorous place to be and you should be enjoying yourself, but you’re still such an odd one.”

It felt like Shigehira-kun understood what I was thinking and he smiles dreamily.

Shigehira(smiling): “Take this, then.”

Shigehira-kun pulls out a small package from his sleeve which had a lovely red lipstick. (I'm referring to that gift as lipstick to make it easy.)

Yuno: “What is this?”

Shigehira: “I just bought it when I was in town for a visit. Just think of it as a thank you for helping me with my work. It’s popular in Kyoto these days. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to accept it.”

He says it curtly and looks away.

(It’s a gift from Shigehira....)

Yuno: “Thank you, I will take good care of it.”

Shigehira: “Not only that, I want you to use it properly, okay? If you don’t, there’s no point in giving it.”

His eyes as clear as the surface of the water and they reflect my image.

Then his smiling face approaches and kisses me softly.

Shigehira(smiling): “....When we get home, I want to kiss you while you wear this."

A faint feverish cry tingles in the back of my chest.

Now we are both excited and embarrassed to return home....

While quitting my beating heart, I nodded back to Shigehira-kun.

...................

Before leaving, I was waiting outside at the gate for Shigehira-kun, who went to greet the owner of the mansion.

(He’s not here yet.)

As I gently stroke my bosom, where I have put away the red lipstick....

Akihito: “Hello, Yuno. You look like you're having a great time. ....What are you doing out here all alone?" (AAAAHHHHH!!!!AKIHITO-SAMA!!!!)

Yuno: "! You're Akihito-sama."

Akihito(smiling): "You don't have to be so formal. I wish you would just address me as Akihito-san."

Yuno: "No. No. If I did, Yasuchika-san would be mad at me."

(Also I don't know Akihito-sama personally.)

(He can be a powerful Onmyoji like Yasuchika-san or maybe a high-ranking noble.)

(But certainly not a commoner.) (He's the king!!! of my heart.....Okay, that was lame.)

Every gesture is beautiful and refined, which makes me secretly nervous.

Yuno: "I had arrived in Kyoto to help out and today, I'm going back to Kamakura. What about you...?"

Akihito(smiling): "Really, I'm glad I was in time. Actually, I knew you were coming to Kyoto, so I came to see you."

Yuno: "Ah, to see me?"

(Why would you want to see me?)

Akihito(smiling): "......."

The moment our eyes meet, I feel a strange sensation as if everything is being seen through me.

(It feels like I can't lie or hide anything from this person.)

At that time, I heard Shigehira-kun's name.

A little further away, Shighira-kun is talking to a man who looks like a noble.

(Do they know each other? Also there's something a little unpleasant about him.)

The nobleman seemed to have a friendly attitude towards Shighira-kun.

But I could see through his attitude that he was somewhat mocking people.

Nobleman: "I do have much to learn from you. Shigehira-sama. After all, you're originally from the Taira clan, but now you're a respectable dog of Minamoto clan and..... a trusted vassal of Yoritomo-sama."

Shigehira: "........."

(How can you say that!)

Just hearing someone say that to someone else is making me feel awful.

Akihito: "Shh, they'll hear you."

Yuno: "!"

Akihito-sama placed his index finger on his lips indicating I to keep my voice low.

Akihito(smiling): "Don't worry. That man can't do anything more than that, because he's a fool....and your lover is a calm one."

(Eh.....?)

Shigehira: "Thank you very much for the compliment. But Yoritomo-sama has many more retainers to rely on. I'm a young man and I'm not quite up to it yet."

As Akihito-sama said, Shigehira-kun replied calmly without faltering

He bowed to the nobleman as if nothing had happened.

Shigehira: "Now, if you'll excuse me."

Akihito-sama, who had been watching Shigehira-kun smiled somewhat amusedly at him.

Akihito(smiling): "Well, now that I've seen your face, I think I'll leave. Also, you mustn't go in that direction today."

Yuno: "Eh?"

I turned my head to the direction Akihito-sama pointed.

Akihito: "Direction of Ushitora. If you're unlucky, you might wander off into the middle of nowhere."

I blink my eyes in confusion at the enigmatic words.

(Why is that?)

Akihito: "If your planning to go anyway, I'll give you this."

He gives two cards with strange markings on them.

Akihito(smiling): "It was made by the most talented Onmyoji I know, so it must be useful for something. ....If we ever meet again, I hope you'll have some amusing stories to share."

Yuno: "Ah. Yes, surely."

I hurriedly bow my head to Akihito-sama, who flips his kimono and walks away.

As I stare at the mysterious card, I heard footsteps behind me and I turned around....

Shigehira: "Ah. There you are. What's wrong, Yuno-san?"

Yuno: "Shigehira-kun!"

When he calls me, I felt relieved.

However, the awful words of that nobleman cross my mind and I was at a loss for words.

Yuno: "Are you okay? About that..."

Shigehira: "Oh that. Don't worry, I hear that a lot."

When he casually says how common he hear these kinds of insults, breaks my heart.

But Shigehira- kun didn't falter. That's what's amazing about him.

Shigehira: "What's with that look? Don't worry about that. As long as there are people like you who understand me, then that's enough for me."

Yuno: "Shigehira-kun...."

He sounds like a simple thing to say, but his eyes are fixed on the sky as if he is nowhere to be found.....

I love Shigehira, who is shy but expresses his feelings honestly.

Shigehira: "Then, let's go back to Kamakura."

Yuno: "Yes."

The sky which was sunny when we left Kyoto, was now covered with clouds.

As if a sign of something about to happen....

Shigehira: "Let's take a break. I think there's a spring around here, I'll get some water."

Yuno: "Then, I'll come too..."

The moment I tried to follow, a cold chill ran down my spine.

(What is this feeling?)

I can feel the heavy air coming from the direction Shigehira-kun is heading.

(I have a bad feeling.)

(But isn't this direction the Ushitora that Akihito-sama mentioned....?)

Yuno: "Shigehira---"

When I reached out to grab his sleeve---

I felt my feet sinking into the mud.

(Eh?)

The ground under me naturally felt mushy. In addition, a creepy hand resembling that of a monkey sticks out from the ground.

Shigehira: "Yuno-san!"

Shigehira-kun, noticed something wrong and put his arm around my waist, and held me close.

(Ah...)

At that time, the red lipstick fell from my sleeve.

The creepy hand picks up the red lipstick and disappears into the ground again.

Yuno: "! No, give it back..."

Shigehira: "...No, Yuno-san, watch your foot."

As if being dragged into the bottom of a swamp, my body was sucked into the ground----

Just before my body sank completely, I thought I saw the cards, Akihito-sama gave me, light up.

..............

When Yuno and Shigehira were hit by the creepy incident----

Ibuki: "......."

Ibuki looked up as if he sensed something.

Ibuki(smiling): "So they fell after all. It was worth giving the two of those dazzling cards, Akihito. By the way, it's new to see you being kind to him."

Akihito(smiling): "Kind. ...You mean to the Young master of Taira. I would not have helped him if he had taken advantage of the nobleman's petty provocations or, on the contrary, flattered him. I thought I'd give him a bit of a helping hand because he's such a good child." (Awwwww, So Akihito went to visit only Yuno at first to warn her about the demon world thing. But then seeing Shigehira's confidence he wanted to help too. Akihito is such a sweetheart!)

Ibuki: "But I'm a little curious as to what will happen to them on the other side."

Akihito(smiling): "I advise you not to go."

Ibuki(smiling): "How kind."

.............................

(Mm.......)

The first thing that struck me when I opened my eyes was the heavy dark clouds and the lightning in the sky.

(! Where am I?)

In an unfamiliar place, I was parked near a cliff, hugging Shighira tightly.

Yuno: "What the hell is this place...!?"

The moment I saw Shigehira-kun, I was speechless.

Shigehira: "......!"

The way he was dressed and the atmosphere he wore made him look like a...... demon.

Shigehira-kun is also looking at me with his eyes wide open.

Shigehira: "You look...."

Yuno: "Hm?"

When I hurriedly checked my appearance, I saw that I was dressed very similarly to Shigehira-kun.

Shigehira: "............"

We were all puzzled and dismayed when we heard a high-pitched laugh.

Demon Monkey: "I found it! It's mine! Mine!"

We see a monkey-like demon turning his back to us and running away.

Shigehira: "----!"

Its arms were covered with the hair of a beast and its viciously extended claws are identical to the arms that had just come up from the ground.

Besides, the thing he’s holding in his hand is....

(Shigehira-kun’s gift....!)

Shigehira: “Let’s chase it. This isn’t where we are supposed to be and that demon might know the way home. Apparently, he can speak our language, so maybe he can give us some information. Also, let’s get back the gift too.”

Yuno: “.....! Yes!”

After Shigehira-kun’s calm words, I let out a breath to calm myself down.

We hurriedly followed the fleeing monkey.

.......................

As we ran in the same direction the monkey took, we came to a marketplace where there was a festival float.

The stalls in the streets are full of the most bizarre products I’ve ever seen.

(What is this place...)

Shigehira: “Is this somekind of joke?”

Yuno: “Maybe...”

We both hide in the shadows to see what’s going on.

(If they find out we're humans, we’ll be in trouble....)

???: “Hey, get out of the way!”

Yuno: “Ah, sorry, we didn’t.....ah?”

I apologize to the voice at my feet and was surprised to see who it is.

The other was a small demon, no bigger than a thumb.

Shigehira: “! Please forgive me for doing this.”

After saying no, Shigehira-kun quickly plucks up the dwarf demon.

Dwarf demon: “What the!”

Shigehira: “I said I’m sorry. But can you tell us where we are?”

Dwarf Demon: “Where? Of course, this is the demon world? Don’t tell me you don’t even know, even though you’re a demon?”

Shigehira: “Demon world... Also, wait. Do we look like demons to you?”

Dwarf Demon: “What, do you want to tell me that you’re human? Nice joke.”

The dwarf demon laughs at us mockingly.

Dwarf Demon: “....Okay. I answered you, now put me down!”

When the demon tries to bite his hand, Shigehira-kun quickly releases him.

Dwarf Demon: “Just because you’re a bit tall, doesn’t give you the right to be rude.”

The dwarf demon sniffed disapprovingly and walks away.

Shigehira: “....I’ve heard about this from Tamamo-san before. It seems to me that we have been transported to the demon world through the portal in the ground......and also we both look like demons.”

Yuno: “Mm...but how....?”

(Besides..)

-------FLASHBACK------

Akihito(smiling): "It was made by the most talented Onmyoji I know, so it must be useful for something. “

-------FLASHBACK ENDS-------

I remembered about the cards and quickly searched for them, but to my surprise, I couldn’t find them.

(Did I drop it on my way here?)

Shigehira: “What’s wrong?”

Yuno: “Actually----”

I talked about what Akihito-sama told me and about the two cards.

Shigehira: “ Yeah, even I saw something glowing just before my body sank to the ground. Maybe those cards were used for deceiving these demons. Maybe that’s why we look so different.”

Yuno: “So as long as they don’t find out our real identities, we won’t be attacked for the time being.... Ah, Shigehira-kun!”

Amongst the crowd of demons, I spot the demon monkey from earlier.

It looked like he was selling my lipstick to another demon.

Demon monkey: “Here’s a rare thing I found. I’ll trade it for human fingers.”

Demon woman: “Oh, that’s a fine piece of work. How about three fingers?”

Demon monkey: “Four. Four fingers!!”

Demon woman: “Come on, you bastard. Fine, I’ll go with it.”

In exchange for the sachet, the monkey was about to give the red lipstick to the demon woman---

Shigehira: “Stop right there!”

Demon monkey: “!”

Shigehira-kun, interrupted their deal and snatched the lipstick for the monkey’s hand.

Shigehira: “Sorry, but I’m taking this back.”

MD: “Whaaa! Give it back!”

Demon woman: “.......”

The monkey starts to whine at the suddenness of the situation and the female demon looks at Shigehira-kun blankly.

But the woman immediately smiled venomously.

Demon woman: “Oh, what a beautiful man. Is that yours?”

Shigehira: “Yes.”

Yuno: “......”

(No one really seems to think we’re humans.)

While I was watching everyone’s movement anxiously.

Demon monkey: “Thief! thief!”

Shigehira: "!"

Yuno: "No we're not..."

The monkey jumps up and down and whining loudly to gather attention from the demons nearby.

(!)

When Shigehira-kun looked around---

Demon monkey: "Give it back!"

Shigehira: "Ahh!"

The monkey took this opportunity to steal back the lipstick and runs away.

Shigehira: "Let's catch him, Yuno."

Yuno: "Yes."

We started running away from the gazes around us.

............

(Damn, that demon is fast!)

(And I feel my body getting heavy.)

(But I must not slow down Shigehira-kun.)

As I struggled to keep up, Shigehira-kun suddenly stopped in his tracks.

Shigehira: "Let's rest for now."

Yuno: "Eh, but."

Shigehira: "Now that we're off the main road, the other demons have dwindled in number and we need a break. It's not safe for us to go our separate ways when we're in a different world."

Shigehira-kun gently rubs my back and my shoulders fluttered as I catch my breath.

Yuno: "Sorry. I was a little bit faster..."

Shigehira: "What are you talking about? It's not your fault. Also since, the time we were here, I've been feeling a bit heavier than usual. What about you?"

Yuno: "......Me too."

Shigehira: "Tamamo-san also told me about this. The air in the demon world has a negative effect on human health."

(Though, Shigehira-kun doesn't look tired as much me.)

I'm so sorry.

Shigehira: "...."

Then, he gently wraps my cheeks with both of his hands and looks at me straight in the eye.

Yuno: "Shigehira-kun?"

I can feel my heart beating fast, and I look back at Shigehira-kun with a worried look on his face.

Shigehira: "Look, if you feel anything unusual, tell me. Your body is not yours alone anymore."

(Ehhh)

When Shigehira-kun sees me blinking, his expression changes.

Shigehira(flustered): "No. I mean...it doesn't mean anything weird. Obviously not that....! Anyway, you don't have to worry about me, you can talk to me about anything. It doesn't matter where we are, I'll always protect you."

Yuno(blushing): "Mm."

I nodded, feeling both reassured and excited by his strong words.

Shigehira softened his cool eyes and gave me a kiss on the forehead.

Shigehira(smiling): ".......It feels weird, isn't it? We're both dressed like demons. .....But even after dressing up as a demon, you.....!"

Shigehira(blushing): "...Nothing!"

Yuno: "?"

(What were you trying to say?)

Before I could ask, he takes his hands off my cheek and shyly looks away.

Shigehira: "Let's look for clues to get back where we came from."

........................

We walked down a back alley in search of clues and found what looked like a restaurant.

Yuno: "There are places like this."

Shigehira: "Well, Tamamo-san did mention that demons don't need food to live. But this is...."

Nevertheless--- the restaurant is littered with bones from a variety of animals.

As I gasped at the eeriness, Shigehira-kun alerted me.

Shigehira: "He's here."

Shigehira-kun points at the demon monkey.

Shigehira: "If he makes a scene here, we'll be in the same situation as before. Let's catch him as he leaves the shop and bring him to a deserted place."

Yuno: "Yes."

We sat further away and observed the monkey's movements. Apparently, the monkey had been drinking and had fallen asleep with a bottle of sake.

Shigehira: "There are no other demons in sight. Let's go and take it, without waking him up. No escaping this time."

Shigehira-kun, cautiously moves closer to the sleeping monkey.

(If it comes to that, I'll use my powers...)

As we watch with bated breath...

Shigehira: "....."

Even when, Shigehira-kun was much closer, the monkey didn't budge.

Shigehira: "If something happens after this....maybe we should tie his hands and legs...."

Yuno: "I have some hand towels."

Shigehira: "Give it to me."

Just as he was about to carefully restrain the monkey, the red lipstick fell from the monkey's hand.

(Oh)

As I reached out for it, a black shadow appears---

Demon: "Hey, you. What are you two up to? Are you both thieves?"

Shigehira: "!"

..............

(We got caught...)

Then we were thrown into a dimly lit prison.

(Now what should we do?)

The anxiety that came over me made my heart clench.

I clasped my trembling hand, and a large hand was placed on top of it.....

Shigehira: "We'll go home together. There must be some way."

Premium END // Epilogue

Just a small note, you see, I'm using a translator for this game so sometimes, the translation can little messy. What I wanna say is that the gift that Shigehira gave to Yuno is translated as 'crimson' or something. So I assumed it was lipstick. I'm not 100% sure, but let's just go with that assumption. Okay?

#ikemen series #ikemen genjiden #ikemen genjiden shigehira #ikeemn series spoilers #ikemen series story event

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starrynite7114 · 4 years

Text

Boots (Angel Reyes)

A/N: Another daddy Angel Request fulfilled! I’m going to make a list of requests just so you all can see if your request is on there or not. If I missed it on accident, please do not hesitate to let me know!

Thanks for the request Twinnie!

Enjoy! Happy weekend!

Ahhh there were so many cute options on the list I had such a hard time choosing! Can I please request "Little one playing dress up with a grown-up set of shoes" Thank you so much Twinnie ❤️😘❤️😘

Masterlist

tagged list: @iambabyharry : @justahopelessssromantic : @briannab1234 : @marvelmaree : @carlaangel86 : @everyhowlmarksthedead : @trulysuccubus : @claytoncardenasbabymama : @ifoundmyhappythought : @chibsytelford : @whyisgmora : @jadert15 : @gemini0410 : @woahitslucyylu : @thickemadame : @elcococruz : @agirllovespasta : @enamoured-x : @encounterthepast : @briana-mishell24 : @sadeyesgf : @summertimesadnesswithadashofsass

Credits to the original owners of the pictures!

Six year old Alena Reyes loved playing dress up. Her favorite article of clothing? Her father’s boots. She wanted to be just like her father when she grew up. It was quite adorable and Angel always loved seeing her walking around with his boots, even though you were worried that Alena would trip and fall. Coco got Alena a dirt bike recently and you knew it was a done deal from there. Angel and Alena always went riding on the weekends, with you and Junior tagging along. Junior was two years old now, so he couldn’t exactly ride with his big sister and father as of yet, but you know eventually, all three of them would be doing it.

You remembered walking in one day while Alena and Angel were home alone. You had just taken Junior to his check up and found Alena and Angel playing dress up. Alena was Angel and Angel was, well Angel. It was so adorable. Alena had Angel’s mannerisms down to a tee, though you were thankful she didn’t pretend to be smoking like her father. But ever since that day a year ago, Alena’s favorite person to dress up as was a biker or Angel. Before that, she wanted to be a princess, much like most little girl’s, but ever since Angel took her for a ride on his bike, that all changed.

Walking around the house, you followed Junior as he got the hang of walking. Alena led the way, walking in her father’s boots. She fondly told you that she would be daddy while you played mommy and Junior was the baby. It was very adorable.

“Come on Junior!” Alena encouraged her younger brother as he followed after her.

“Lena!” He followed after her excitedly.

You smiled, it was always so nice to see Alena and Junior play together. For some time, you thought you wouldn’t be able to give Alena another sibling. But now, you had two year old Junior and you were currently pregnant, with twins. Angel was hoping they were both girls, since he was a girl dad, whatever the fuck that meant, but it really didn’t matter to him as long as you two had another child.

It was the biggest blessing and you two couldn’t ask for more.

Angel always wanted a big family and you did as well. The fact you two could have that?

It was an amazing feeling.

“Alena be careful, you’ve tripped due to daddy’s boots before.” You warned her as she began to run.

“It’s okay mommy, you can fix me. And I’ll have cool scars like daddy” Alena grinned as she continued to run with Junior trying his best to catch up to her. “You’re so slow!” She exclaimed as she slowed her pace, just so her younger brother could catch up to her. “Mommy, Junior is still slow.”

“Lenny, he literally just learned how to walk, give your baby brother a break.”

Alena thought for a moment before nodding her head in agreement. “You’re right. Come on Junior, give me a hug.” She opened her arms. Junior walked the same pace, but reached his sister and hugged her.

“Lena!”

His favorite word to say was ‘Lena’, for his favorite person. And for Alena, just as it has been all these years, Tio Coco was still her favorite person. You watched as Alena fixed Junior’s shirt, which had ridden up due to their embrace. She always wanted to make sure that her baby brother looked good because his big sister always looked good. Alena was such a good older sister, you couldn’t ask for anything more.

But it wasn’t always perfect.

Angel was Alena’s person. Junior had mommy and Alena had daddy, plain and simple as that. It was difficult at first as Alena had a hard time sharing Angel’s affections with Junior. She adored her little brother, but Daddy was Alena’s person no matter what.

Even though Tio Coco was her favorite person. Angel was convinced that Coco must have paid Alena while you two weren’t looking, but you were certain that wasn’t the case. She really adored Coco since she admired Letty. And Coco was Letty’s father.

“When the twins are born, we’re bound to be their favorite person right?”

You shrieked, making Angel and Alena laugh. Alena obviously saw her father and didn’t want to bust him when he was trying to scare mommy.

“Angel!” You smacked his stomach making him groan. “You’re literally going to cause an early birth or something.” You were currently five months pregnant and you honestly couldn’t wait for them to come.

Angel chuckled, wrapping his arms around you. “Sorry mi amor, I couldn’t help it.” He looked at his children, squatting down so they could give him a hug. “Can Daddy get some love?”

“Is Tio Coco with you?” Alena knew how to turn them against one another. She didn’t mean to hurt her father’s feelings, but she knew it bugged him when she would ask for Coco. It became a fun game of poke Angel’s heart.

“Alena,” you warned her.

“I’m kidding daddy, you know you’re my favorite person.” She ran to hug him, her previous words already erased from Angel’s mind.

“Damn right I am.” He waited for Junior who made his way over, when he finally reached him, he let go of Alena and picked up Junior, giving his son a kiss on the cheek. “Look at my boy, next thing you know, you’re going to ride that mini Harley I got you.”

“No, bikes are our thing!” Alena pouted, crossing her arms over her chest. “He can’t do it, he’s too little.”

“Sweetie, you all can do it. Wouldn’t it be fun to have Junior with you?” You reasoned with your loveable six year old.

“No, I’m going to be like Daddy when I grow up, see, I’m wearing his boots.” She frowned and you could tell Alena was becoming upset. You wanted to kneel down, but your belly wasn’t really helping out with your flexibility or movement recently.

Angel frowned as well, squatting down to talk to his baby girl. “Baby, you can still be like daddy when you grow up. You don’t want to share riding with Junior?”

“No, that’s our thing.” She began to sniffle and Angel knew the tears were coming next.

“Mami, it’s okay, riding will be our thing, okay?” Angel handed Junior to you, enveloping Alena in his arms. “It’s still early out, do you want to go out for a ride?”

“Yes!” Alena ran to her room to go change.

Angel looked at you and smiled. “I just have to cherish the moments where she still likes hanging out with me.”

“Don’t start, we literally have two coming, you will always have someone to spend time with.” You knew Angel was having a hard time with Alena growing up. Alena was his first born and as much as watching her grow was a treat, he knew that someday, it wasn’t going to be like this. Whenever Alena requested for his time, Angel gave it to her.

“She’s my first born though baby.” He wrapped his arms around you, Junior in between you two. “Next thing you know, she’s going to have a boyfriend and it’s going to be endless fights.” Angel was not looking forward to teenage Alena. She already had so much spunk. The fights were going to be something.

“Why do you anticipate fights?” You questioned him. Though, you were in agreement with Angel. They most likely will have fights since Alena was Angel through and through. “It’s cause you were such a little shit to your parents, karma is a bitch.” You teased Angel.

“Laugh it up now, you’re going to have a headache too.” Angel narrowed his eyes at you.

“I’m sure I will, but we’re a team, nothing to worry about.” You shrugged before you kissed him.

Junior put his hand in between you two, pushing Angel’s face away.

“Mommy mine,” he declared.

Angel held up his hands. “Alright little man,” he chuckled. “That ass is going to be mine tonight though.” He grinned mischievously.

“Ignacio!”

Angel let out a laugh before giving you a quick kiss and making his way down the hall to Alena’s room. When he arrived, he found his daughter with the mini Mayans vest he got her along with a flannel and jeans. She was still wearing his boots making Angel slightly shake his head.

“Mami, we gotta take those boots off, we’re not playing dress up right now.” Angel picked her up and the boots slipped right off.

“No! I’m not playing dress up, they’re riding boots.” Alena tried to wiggle her way out of her father’s arms, hoping to put the boots back on.

“Baby, I know, but daddy has a present for you.” Angel carried Alena to your room, sitting her down on the bed. Angel walked over to the closet and took the bag that held Alena’s present. He was going to wait till the weekend, but since they were going out now, he was certain she would want to have it. Taking the box out of the bag, he set it on the bed, sitting on the other side of it while Alena sat on the other side.

“What is it?” She kneeled, using the box to help her balance. “Is it the Stitch doll I wanted?” Her eyes were fixated on the box, thinking of what her father could have possibly gotten her. “Clothes? The gold bracelet? The headband with the cute bow? Oh, the backpack?!”

“Baby, when did you ever ask for these things?” Angel knew about the stitch doll, but the backpack, headband, bracelet and clothes? No knowledge whatsoever. And you usually told him whenever Alena made a request.

“Oh, I may have asked Tio Coco and Tio EZ.” She gave him a sheepish smile. “What did you get me?!”

Angel chuckled at his daughter’s enthusiasm. She really did have all the Mayans wrapped around her fingers. He opened the box and Alena’s eyes lit up.

“They’re your boots! But smaller!” She didn’t want to touch them, they looked so beautiful. “They’re so pretty daddy!”

“They’re for you baby, mommy and I got you riding boots.”

You were by the door, watching father and daughter as you held Junior. You were trying not to cry, but hormones were a bitch and just about anything could make you bawl.

“Thank you!” She launched herself at Angel, before making her way down the bed and hugging you. “Mommy, why are you crying?”

“They’re happy tears baby.” You assured her. “Come on, go try them on.”

“Okay!”

She climbed back up on the bed, and looked at her father. “Daddy, can you put it on for me?”

“Of course princesa, I got you.” Angel helped Alena put them on. Once they were zipped up, she jumped down and ran to the full length mirror in your closet.

“They’re so cool!” She ran back out and the absolute glee on her face made you and Angel’s heart swell. “We’re matching daddy!”

“Yes we are.” He stood up and looked at you. “You two coming?”

“Naw, we’ll stay here. Don’t stay out too late, family dinner tonight.”

“Of course not.” Angel took Alena’s hand. They both gave you a kiss as they made their way out to the truck that held the dirt bikes that the two owned.

You loved watching Alena and Angel together. He and Alena were two peas in a pod. No matter what, Angel had Alena’s back and Alena had Angel’s back. There were a few times where Alena would side with you, but more often than not, she was Daddy’s little princess. Which made you even more excited to reveal to Angel later that you two were having twin girls.

Angel was going to have two princesses to play dress up with and of course, his original princess, Alena Reyes.

#angel reyes #angelreyes #angel reyes fanfiction #angel reyes fic #angel reyes fanfic #mayans mc imagine #mayans mc fic #mayans mc fanfic

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btsslowburnfic · 4 years

Text

BTBY Chapter 3

Series Summary: For Namjoon, the moment he set his sights on being the #1 rapper, he pushed the symbol to the side and hated it. Love should be chosen, not forced on you. He didn’t believe in fate and this mark on his wrist was a big “fuck you” to all that.

Chapter Summary: Practice, Day one

Previous chapter found here

Robert’s studio had been fully cleared out for you guys. The three of you walked in and were greeted by the owner, Robert Mayes. “[Y/N] good to see you again, Xavier, always a pleasure, and you must be with the band,”

“Yes, it’s nice to meet you sir. I’m RM. Thank you so much for letting us use your space,”

“Ah it’s my pleasure. Really. You should thank [Y/N]. She coordinated all of our classes to be at their studio and my daughter is a huge fan.” he hands [Y/N] a set of keys. “I'll leave you to it. When is a good time for me to bring Ella by?”

You do some mental math. “Around 5 will be good. We’ll probably break for dinner at 6. Thanks again Robert,” you wave as he leaves the studio. Ok, time to do your job even with the grumpy jerk soulmate in tow.

“Alright guys, this way please. Restrooms are in this hallway along with showers if anyone needs one after practice. This room right here is where the back up dancers can get ready. They won’t be here again until tomorrow. The kitchen is also on this floor. Catering is arriving with snacks and drinks in half an hour, dinner arrives at 5:30 with a 6 pm dinner time. The main rehearsal area and your guys green room is upstairs,” you review the location with them as you arrive at the stairs.

“Xavier would you mind waiting at the reception desk until Melinda gets here? She should be here in about ten minutes. I don’t want any studio clients accidentally showing up and not having anyone to talk to.” you rummage through your workbag as best you can with your bandaged hand, “here are some flyers with the alternate classes in case they are old school and don’t use the app.”

“Yep, you got it.” Xavier takes the flyers and heads back to the front door area.

You start walking up the stairs, “Come on, I have the main space blocked out already let’s go check it out.” you yell behind you. You reach the top of the stairs and continue the brief tour. “There are more bathrooms over there. The room over there is where you guys and your staff can get ready. And this space,” you walk ahead to the large studio, “is the main dance room. I know it’s not even close to being the same as the venue, which I’m honestly still really pissed off about, but we are going to make it work.” you turn back and look at Namjoon taking the space in.

“Sorry about your arm,” he says, avoiding looking at you. “Do you actually want me to pay for it?”

For a moment you forget how to speak because you are so surprised he is being normal to you. “No thanks, I was joking. I mean it is $900 but it’s fine. I’ll just steal food from the catering service later,” you smirk at him. “I can teach some standing classes for a while or fill in at the front desk. It will be fine. Ok, check the tape marks against where you guys normally are and see what you think. I can do minimal light and sound but that’s definitely Rafael’s strong suit. I’m going to get the mic pacs set up.” You walk over to the boxes you had set out earlier in the day and sit down next to them.

Namjoon works through the choreography lightly of the two songs they will be performing. You try not to look but you can’t help it. You really like watching people dance. And he’s a really good dancer even though he’s just lightly moving through the steps. You fight with the mic packs. They are very difficult to get tuned with one hand. Ugh. This is so frustrating.

To your pleasant surprise, Xavier, Rafael, and the rest of the group enter the silent room. Rafael heads straight for the console and starts setting things up. Xavier was trying to communicate with the guy you had learned was JHope. The bits of broken English are adorable. RM walks over and catches the band up on where they could take their things and get set up. Xavier comes over and starts helping you get the lav mics set up. “Thanks dude, this is really hard one handed.”

“It’s no problem. Oh my goodness, these guys are hilarious. I don’t speak Korean, clearly, but their energy is amazing.”

You smile as you are not having the same experience at all but you don’t want to be rude.

Once the lav mics are set up you grab your label maker. “Ok, go see if Rafael is ready and we’ll do just the choreography a few times through. I’ll go see if the guys are set up.” You get up and go downstairs to check in with Melinda about who to let in and when they should arrive and then head on up to the makeshift green room. You knock on the door and don’t hear any objections so you go in and see the guys finishing up a makeshift team meeting. “Alright? Ready?” you say, trying to keep the wording minimal.

“Let’s go!” JHope yells excitedly. You can see why Xavier was having fun talking to him, his smile is infectious.

“Yeah ok, you know. Let’s go dancing,” the tall one who your research has told you is “Jin” joins in. You laugh and turn to lead the way over to the practice area.

Xavier and Rafael get the lighting and sound set up once the guys are on their marks. They look so fucking cool. Having them in the studio makes it almost look like a stage. The music starts and they start the choreography. The first round is just to test the set marks, so it’s not the full moves. It looks like they are using it as a warm up but honestly it still looks amazing! Once the marks are all confirmed they run the full version. You sit there trying not to stare at RM but you can’t help it. He looks so good. They all do, but you can’t take your eyes off of him. Damnit. Stupid rude soulmate. You sigh. Today was shit. Your wrist was throbbing, you had zero sleep, and your soulmate hated you.

“Alright that’s a wrap on that part guys. It looks amazing!” you give them a big thumbs up. “Let’s get the lav mics on you guys and we’ll run with audio.”

You hand the labeled mics to each band member and help them get it adjusted as best you can. When you get to RM he takes the lav mic and becomes determined to place it himself. “Oh my goodness. You are ridiculous.” you say under your breath to him. “You better make sure that thing stays on,” you chide him.

“It’s not my first performance sweetheart, I think I can manage.” he responds arrogantly.

You roll your eyes and head on over to JHope who is much friendlier. “Thanks so much,” he says.

“You’re welcome,” you say smiling. Why are literally all of them nicer than your soulmate? You look over at him to see him giving JHope a death stare, which JHope returns by shrugging his shoulders confused. You move on to Yoongi who politely lets you place the mic.

“Alright, we are all set. Mic check please,”

“Ok let’s go,” you hear RM through the speakers. The other guys take turns speaking into the mics.

“Check check, Rafael?” he gives you a thumbs ok, “Ok. Let’s run it.” The music starts and this time it’s full choreography and singing. The sound is really stable and they look great. About halfway through the second song, RM accidentally rips off his lav mic and yeets it to the floor.

“Stop.” you shout.

“Sorry guys. I’m sorry.” He immediately stops and picks up the broken mic.

The guys are all breathing heavily and don’t seem too shocked by this turn of events, half of them wander off to grab some water.

You walk over and take the mic from RM’s hands. “I'm sorry.” he says to you and for a second you forget what a dick he’s been to you. You sigh examining the pac. “It’s fine. I have an extra one. This one is beyond my repair skills.” you walk over to the side of the studio and grab another one. You walk back over and look up at RM, “I’ll give you another. The deal is you have to let me put this one on, ok?”

For a few seconds he drops his “too cool” act “Yeah ok.” You reach around his back to reposition the lav mic and hand him the earpiece.

“Don’t worry, I won’t bite you.” you say as you readjust it along his back. You feel him relax a bit. “Unless you ask me to.” you wink awkwardly at him. He rolls his eyes at you.

“Thanks again for getting us this practice space. ” he says, surprising you,

You finish the adjustment. “Just doing my job. Of course, the rest of my job is really hard with a splint on my wrist,” you give him a dirty look.

“I am sorry about that,” he says quietly.

You look around make sure no one else can hear you, “Look, it’s been a fucked up day for me too.” you look into his eyes, “ And I don’t want this either. I have a boyfriend actually and I like my job here a lot. You don’t have to worry about me chasing you down or anything.”

“Oh,” Namjoon is taken aback by this. He had always assumed if he ever met his soulmate and delivered the news he wasn’t interested, they would be heartbroken. Apparently not.

“Oh. Ok. Good.” is all he was able to get out.

You sigh as you walk back a few feet to make sure it looks ok with the lighting and everything. “You should be all set now.” you turn to the sound crew, “Mic check! Take 3.” Namjoon does his mic check and it sounds great. “Ok everyone let’s run it from the top.”

You walk over to the front of the room to watch and listen to the full production. This day has been exhausting.

Xavier sits down next to you and hands you a water. “Thanks dude,”

“These guys are fucking sick. They are favored to win their categories.”

“Really? That’s awesome. Do you have your outfit picked out?” You ask, embracing a moment of normalcy in your life.

“No, Joe and I are going tonight to look at rentals. Do you want to come?”

“No thanks, I haven’t seen Ben all week and I’m just going to wear something from my closet. I’m thinking my New Year’s Eve dress from last year.”

“Ooo that’s a good One. I’ll get a coordinating tie.” Xavier smiles at you. “Do you have a bias?”

“Uh what?”

“Haven’t you read upon this group? You pick a favorite and that’s your bias.” Xavier sips his iced coffee.

“That is ridiculous. They’re just people. Like every other group we’ve worked with,” you roll your eyes.

“I don’t make the fandom rules honey. My bias is Jimin. Look at that dancing.” Xavier proceeds to stare at Jimin for the remainder of the first song. “Ooooo but if there’s another one they’re your bias wrecker.”

“Please start speaking English again.” you playfully shove him.

“What were you and RM chatting about?” He arches his eyebrows up and down.

“Lav mics. And more specifically why I am the one who is supposed to place them and not overconfident performers,” you huff.

“I’m gonna put down Jhope as your bias and RM as your wrecker.”

You roll your eyes and stand up for the second song. Xavier continues to eyefuck Jimin.

You once again find your eyes drawn to RM. He’s not the best dancer but he’s taller than the rest of the guys and has a certain swagger when he raps that commands the room. It’s sexy as fuck and you get annoyed at yourself for thinking that. The second song ends. You, Xavier, and Rafael burst into applause.

“Great job guys! That looked and sounded Amazing. How did you feel about it?” you direct your question to RM so he can translate. He and JHope discuss a few things. You walk over to them to gather any feedback. Suga has wandered over to Rafael and is looking at the console with him. You giggle as you watch Xavier try and think of something to say to Jimin and you almost get secondhand embarrassed for him.

“Ok guys, any changes or anything?” you ask as RM and JHope grow quiet.

“No. We just need to run it again a few times. When our filming crew arrives they will record it for us to share online with ARMY so we want to make sure it’s good before then.”

“Ok. sounds good.” you take out your phone and rescan the schedule. “You have an hour and a half before they arrive so you just let Rafael know when you’re ready to go again for practice” your phone chimes, “I have to go meet with catering and I will be right back.”

The rest of the practice session runs smoothly. Their BTS production team arrives to film content for their fans and you and Xavier feel like a bunch of perverts watching them stretch but it doesn’t stop either of you from doing it.

“Oh my god you guys,” Rafael laughs at you two. “Stop.”

“Stop what?” you ask, trying to sound innocent.

Rafael rolls his eyes. “Y’all thirsty. Don’t you guys have boyfriends?”

“Our boyfriends do not look like that,” Xavier gestures to the group. You just grow red and try not to laugh and distract them.

“Stop it you guys. You’re being really unprofessional.” you say through suppressed laughter

“Yeah, stop it guys,” Rafael mocks you and the three of you laugh as their song wraps up.

“Great job!” you yell. “We have time for one more run through. Grab some water and we’ll do one more set before dinner.” You walk over to RM. “Hey, the studio owner’s daughter is here and I told her she could watch as long as she doesn’t take pictures or anything. Is that still ok? Did you check with everyone?”

“Yeah, that shouldn’t be a problem.” he says, his voice huskier than normal from the exertion of practicing for hours.

“Here,” you hand him a bottle of water and head down to the first floor.

Robert’s daughter, Clara, is a super excited ten year old who is trying to play it cool but she keeps making adorable squeaking sounds. “Hey! Are you super excited?” you greet her and Robert. She just smiles more, unable to form coherent words “I just need you to either give me your phones or put them in a locker.”

“Sure thing,” Robert hands you their phones. “Thanks again. I’d say this would make her day but it’s probably more like her year or her life,” he smiles.

“Of course. Happy to do it.” you start walking up the stairs with them, “I know we can watch them and they might have time to chat afterwards but they have also had a really long day, so don’t be upset if they seem tired or anything, ok?” you prep Clara.

She nods enthusiastically and then starts crying when she enters the room. “Oh God,” you say and you gesture at chairs you had set out for them.

“Ah youth,” Xavier remarks as you walk over to the console. As you turn around you are surprised to see that one of the members, Taehyung has walked over to Clara and is trying to get her to stop crying and it is the sweetest thing ever.

“I don’t even have ovaries and they’re aching,” Xavier whispers in your ear. You suppress the urge to laugh and agree with him and walk over to make the introduction.

“This is Clara, and her father Robert. This,” you gesture” is Robert’s studio.

“Oh. Thank you Robert. And Thank you Clara for being ARMY,” he smiles at both of them. “We dance now, ok?”

Clara enthusiastically nods her head.

“Thank you so much,” you say to Taehyung as he turns to go back to the stage area.

“No, thank you.” he smiles an adorable smile at you and holy shit is this how they lure all these fans?! With their dancing and adorable smiles?! You make a mental note to watch some Youtube videos later tonight and walk back to your position in the front of the room. The guys are all back in their spaces.

“Mic check 1 2.” you go through the pre-check again.

The last performance of the night is perfect. Clara sings along to all the words and you even see a tear or two fall down Robert’s face as he is so happy to see his little girl’s dream come true. Wow this has been a day. You are thankful you ordered coffee to be delivered with dinner. The band members are all kind enough to walk over and say hi to Clara and thank Robert one more time.

“Thanks again [y/n] it really means a lot to us,” Robert shakes your hand.

“Of course. Thanks again for the space. I’ll see you around the studio.” you hand them their phones back as you escort them to the front door. You poke your head into the kitchen and confirm food counts with the caterer and grab yourself a coffee.

“Alright guys. Dinner is in the kitchen and ready when you are. There is also a stocked shower if anyone wants to take one here. Great work today.” Everyone on the BTS production unit makes their way to the dining area. Some of the guys stop and change clothes before dinner, some don’t. It’s been a long day. You, Rafael, and Xavier clean up the dance room so it will be ready for tomorrow.

“What are you guys doing tonight?” Rafael asks as he covers the console.

“I’m going suit shopping with Joe for the awards show. Do you want to join?” Xavier responds.

“Nah, I’m going to wear my funeral suit like usual.”

“Boooo!!!!” you and Xavier both yell at him, like usual. He loves that boring ass suit and it’s the only one he owns.

“There’s nothing wrong with it.” he laughs as he defends himself.

“It’s boooorrrrriiiinnnngggg. This is a fun awards show. Plus me and Joe and [Y/N] are going to look so pretty. Don’t you want to also?” Xavier finishes helping you gather the recycling.

“No. I’ll stay boring and scruffy to help make you three look better.” he smiles. “I’m grabbing dinner here. Anyone else?”

“Me.” you raise your working arm.

“I thought you were meeting Ben tonight?” Xavier interrupts.

“Change of plans. I spaced that I have to be the one to lock up tonight so I have to be the last one out. I don’t want to rush anybody so I’ll just stay here and work until everyone else is finished.” you sigh. “But, I am getting free dinner.”

“Always the optimist.” Rafael pats your shoulder, “that’s why we love you.”

You smile and grab the bag of recycling to carry downstairs. As you round the corner you once again slam into RM. “Jesus,” you yell, forgetting professionalism for a second.

“Sorry.” he takes the recycling bag from you, “Do you guys need help with anything else?” He asks cooly.

“No, we are all finished,” Xavier responds, turning off the lights. “Thanks dude.” he starts down the stairs oblivious to what’s going on. “See you all tomorrow!” he happily yells as he leaves.

“So in love.” Rafael comments. “Gross.” he jokes as he begins down the stairs.

“Agreed,” you follow him, “Are you coming?” you turn and ask RM.

“Yep.”

You slow down a bit so Rafael is all the way down the stairs, “Back to being an asshole?” you ask him, your voice lilting in a joking way.

“Absolutely.”

“Fantastic. Thanks for carrying the recycling, Asshole.”

“Sure thing. Is Rafael your boyfriend?”

Did he really just ask you that? Before you can form words you just start laughing. “Ahahahahahahaha. No. Hard Pass. No. We have worked together for 5 years. We are very good friends. Ahahaha. I can’t even. Wow. No. My boyfriend does not work with me. Otherwise we would probably kill each other. Why? Are you interested in Rafael? I can get you his number?” you laugh again.

“Oh my God. No.”

“Why do you care who my boyfriend is?” you ask, nearing the bottom of the stairs, “Jealous?" You tease.

If you would have been looking you would have seen the moment of hesitation on his face before he responded, “Don’t flatter yourself.” NEXT CHAPTER

#bts fanfction #bts rm fanfic #bts rm x you #bts au fanfic #rm x reader #rm x y/n #bts fics #namjoon x you

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takemeawaytocamelot · 4 years

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Voices Matter

Okay. This will be a pretty personal post, and maybe a bit long. Feel free to skip along.

You may or may not be aware that until June of 2019, I had been a delivery driver for a national auto parts chain. Being a young woman in her mid to late 20′s, it was a good job that worked around my school schedule. The downside was working with mechanics. As a whole, they’re an odd bunch. The vast majority of them haven’t matured past 13 or 14 year old boys, so they make a lot of dick jokes. I got a lot of ‘nice rack’ or ‘sorry about my dirty shaft’ jokes too. For the most part, they rolled off my back because after a while, you learn to ignore it.

One particular shop, however, couldn’t be ignored. It was a small shop owned and run by one guy. Creepy Dave. Now, one thing you should know about me, I’m not a touchy feely person. I don’t typically enjoy physical touch, but with the right people I can do what they need me to do. That being said, I obviously don’t like people invading my personal bubble either.

This is where Creepy Dave comes in. Everyone at the store, both drivers and the guys at the counter, called him Creepy Dave. He’s that creepy. He would regularly do the ‘accidental boob graze’, or some how find a way to touch your hand when taking his invoice from you. He also did the ‘you should smile more’ on a regular basis. This man made every single woman (except for the lady who was in her 60′s) uncomfortable. When I trained new drivers, I had to teach them how to deal with Creepy Dave. Why you ask? Let me tell you.

His behavior was not good, it made everyone uncomfortable and we hated delivering to him. So we’d go to our bosses, who were the store owners, and their response was this: we’ll talk to him.

Talk. To. Him.

That’s it. Because Creepy Dave spent a lot of money at the store, and always paid his bill on time, he was allowed to harass the female employees. Whenever he got a “talking to”, he’d behave for about a week, but then go right back to it. Eventually, we stopped complaining because it didn’t do any good.

Fast forward to about 4 weeks ago. In the years between Creepy Dave and starting my new job at a grocery store, I’ve been in counseling for suffering a sexual trauma when I was very young. I’ve done a lot of healing and a lot of growth since then.

Now, Creepy Dave figured out where I worked. I’ve seen him in my store a few times, always a little... uncomfortable. One evening, I was in the front lobby disinfecting carts and baskets when he walked in. I’m holding a spray bottle and rag with nowhere to run and no counter between me and Creepy Dave. He walks in, stops, looks at me and smiles. That creepy smarmy smile. You know the one. And he says to me, “you gonna spray me down?” or something to that effect. I straight up said No. Because ew. To which his response is “You sure you don't wanna spray me off?”

In what universe is it okay to say that!? I MEAN REALLY??!

So, given my history with Creepy Dave, I don’t really tell anyone about it. He’s just creepy and there’s never consequences. Except... I don’t work at the auto parts store anymore.

Creepy Dave comes into the store again a few days later and I see him. He doesn’t see me. This time, I’m behind the counter in the bakery area and my manager is there. So I pull her aside quickly and ask if she’d be willing to deal with him because he makes me uncomfortable. (Side note about my manager. She’s amazing and I love her. She’s incredibly protective over her staff and she doesn’t take crap from anyone. She’s what I call a safe person that you just feel comfortable with.) She says of course she’ll deal with the creepy old man.

Once he leaves, she asks for an explanation. I give her the whole story, including what he’d said to me in the store lobby. She’s appalled. She asks me to write down, in as much detail as I remember, what happened and we’ll take it upstairs to our store manager so there can be documentation about the incident. I do and she runs the note upstairs. A few minutes later, she comes back and says Chris would like to see me. I felt like I was going to get in trouble, though I’d done nothing wrong.

I go upstairs and talk to Chris, explaining my history with Creepy Dave and everything. The response I got nearly had me in tears. “When you see him again, call for a manager and we’ll explain to him that it isn’t ok to talk to my employees like that. And if he does anything like that ever again, I’ll kick him out of my store. Don’t worry, Sam. We’ll pick up where your previous job failed.”

I was so conditioned to accept Creepy Dave’s behavior that it honestly never occurred to me to make a report. Nothing was ever done before and my level of discomfort never mattered. Until it did.

The reason I’m writing all this out is for you. Whoever you are, whatever your situation, you needed to see this. You needed someone to tell you that your voice matters. YOU matter. Inappropriate behavior in the workplace, whether from a coworker or a customer, isn’t okay. Actions have consequences.

Let me say that one more time.

YOUR

VOICE

MATTERS

Don’t let something continue because it’s been allowed to continue before. Speak up and protect yourself. You’re worth protecting and are worthy of protecting. If the people around you don’t support you, find new people.

#personal #takemeawaytocamelot #voices matter #your voice matters #speak up #its not ok

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spookyboywhump · 4 years

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Tag List: @constellationwhump, @what-a-whumpy-world, @faewhump, @inky-whump, @slaintetowhump, @sodapigeon, @justwhumpitwhumpitgood, @insanitywishes @ihaventwritteninsolong @galaxywhump @pepperonyscience @whumpinparis @irondad-is-cannon-bitch @finder-of-rings

Please, let me know if I missed you or if you’d like to be tagged!

Is this kind of more filler to bridge the gap between the last post and the next planned event? Maybe. Did I focus more on Zander’s thoughts than detailing the fight on purpose? Maybe. Is it actually, finally an update to the main story? Yes, absolutely.

***

He tried to hide the broken rib, he really did. He wasn’t sure how Cain would react to an injury like this, he wasn’t sure if it would make him angry that Wren wouldn’t be able to fight again anytime soon, and now that he finally seemed to be getting on Cain’s good side he didn’t want to ruin it. He kept his complaints to himself, and thankfully the general wincing and whining through the day were chalked up to normal post-fight pain.

Zander seemed worried about him that night, after he’d woken up from sleeping the whole day. He already seemed to be doing better and Wren was relieved to see that, glad that he could be somewhat of a help to him. He’d woken up in time for dinner, Cain was in a good enough mood to feed both of them that night, and though he kept giving Wren these worried glances he didn’t say anything, both of them trying to keep Cain in a good mood. By now he knew to wait until he was told to eat, but even after Cain said okay he just stared tiredly at his food. He felt like even moving to eat would be too much at this point, hand clutching his side as the pain was strong enough to dull any hunger.

“What’s the matter, pup? Not hungry?” Cain asked when he’d finished his food and noticed Wren still hadn’t eaten.

“I think he’s hurt.” Zander said, and Cain rolled his eyes.

“Of course he’s hurt, did you see what that girl did to him yesterday?” He paused before saying, “Well, probably not, you were in and out of it the whole time.” He laughed as he knelt down in front of Wren, pushing his plate of food to the side and grabbing his face, forcing him to look up at him tiredly. “What’s the matter?” He asked again.

“I, um… m’ ribs hurt a lot…” he mumbled, keeping his eyes on the floor. Cain frowned and pulled his hand away from his side, pushing his shirt up. There were dark bruises clustered around his ribs on the right side, both Cain and Zander made a face when they saw it.

“Shit, this is bad…” Cain murmured, using one hand to feel along his ribs. He pressed into the area that hurt most and Wren cried out, trying to jerk away.

“It’s broken.” Zander said with a frown, leaning over to look closer.

“Why didn’t you say anything, I could’ve gotten you looked at before we left last night.” Cain said, scowling as he got to his feet. “Damn it, how long does it take ribs to heal?” He asked, looking to Zander.

“About six weeks. Took that long last time one of mine was broken anyway.”

“Fuck!” He groaned, running a hand through his hair. Wren was suddenly very, very anxious, six weeks was too long, and Cain was clearly unhappy. He’d finally been getting him in a good mood and just like that it was gone. “You’re going to be down for six weeks, do you fucking know how long that is?!” He snapped, and Wren flinched back, biting his lip as he wasn’t sure Cain wanted an answer or not.

“It’s not his fucking fault, shit happens when you’re forced to fight.” Zander said, glaring at him.

“Well now he’s useless, fucking useless for six weeks!” He raised his hand as if he was going to hit him, but Zander abruptly grabbed Wren’s arm, yanking him closer and away from Cain. The movement further disturbed his ribs and he squeezed his eyes shut, whining and pain.

“Leave him alone.” Zander said, voice low and steady.

“Oh, so you’d like to be a guard dog now, mutt?” Cain sneered. “Since when do you get off on telling me what to do?”

“Just, listen, please… sir…” he sighed. “I’ll do it, while he’s recovering I’ll fight so you can get your entertainment in and he can be left alone.”

“No- really I’m fine I-“

“You’re not fine, your ribs are fucking broken.” Zander hissed at him, and he quickly shut his mouth.

“Why should I even let you fight?” Cain rose an eyebrow. “You’ve been nothing but fucking useless too, I’m not going to tolerate any more fuck ups from you- one more time and I might finally let Vanessa have you for a lap dog.” Wren couldn’t ignore how Zander went tense at the threat, grip on his arm somewhat tighter.

“I… I promise if you let me do this, I’ll win. I swear it, just, let me try, please?” Cain seemed to think it over for a moment before sighing.

“Fine. Only because you know how fucking bored I get when you’re out of commission.” He said, and Zander visibly relaxed. “But,” Cain added, grabbing Wren by the hair and pulling him to his feet, “If you lose, then the little pup is going to have to take the punishment, understand?”

“What?! But he’s supposed to be getting better, you can’t-“

“Of course I can.” He grinned. “You seem to keep forgetting, Zander, I fucking own you. Both of you. I can, and will do whatever I fucking want, understand?” Zander scowled, glancing away.

“Yes sir.” He said through gritted teeth.

“There’s a good dog.” He said, causing Zander to glare at him. “For the pup’s sake, I sure do hope you win your next fight.”

Wren couldn’t help but hope desperately for that as well.

***

It felt like it had been a while since he’d last been here, locked up in a cell trying to calm down enough to fight. Cain’s threat about Wren was making him more and more anxious but he tried to ignore it, he couldn’t afford to be anxious or nervous right now. He distracted himself by slowly pulling out his earrings, one by one, laying them on the cell floor. He’d learned early on it wasn’t good to leave them in, he already had one torn ear and he didn’t want it to happen again.

There was something unfortunately natural about being led into the ring. Even after a short break, even after several losses, it almost felt routine, were it not for Wren’s well being being used as a threat he probably wouldn’t have even been scared or nervous. He /knew/ what to do, had figured it out after his first couple fights.

As long as he stopped thinking like a person, stopped thinking of his opponent as a person, stopped thinking in general he would be fine. Focus on surviving no matter what he had to do to make sure that happened, fight dirty and vicious and desperate and he would be fine. It’s not like he was the only one, he’d come out of these things having been clawed at and bitten, and honestly, he never held it against his opponent. Just like him they wanted to survive, wanted to avoid their handler’s wrath, he couldn’t fault them for that.

He had promised Cain that he wouldn’t lose, really it was more of a promise to Wren, he was the one in actual danger here, but he was going to stick with it. He was taller than his opponent, the other man clearly was fed even less than he was, his owner must’ve been a dumb ass to think he was fit to fight.

He’d feel guilty later for thinking about how easy this should be, listening to the announcer count down from five, he knew that right now he needed to stop thinking at all, as the announcer reached “one” he focused on getting this man on the ground and getting the hell out of there.

He tuned out all the noise around him, forced himself to forget about Cain’s threat for the time being, and instead focused on getting his hands around this guy’s throat. Sometime later he could be horrified at how easy it was, about how he had no qualms about fighting to get a hold on him, about hitting him hard enough to stun him, grab him by the hair and roughly force him to the ground. He could be horrified about how easy it was to break someone’s rib if you stomped hard enough just enough times, and how it relieved him to feel the bone give, to hear the poor man scream in pain, and how he didn’t stop because he had him on the ground and he needed to just stay for ten seconds, and then this would be over.

All he ever wanted was for it to be over quickly.

That level of cheering meant it was over, meant he could step back, get off the man who was gasping for air, panicked and pained. He hoped he’d be okay, wished he could offer some help or comfort but once the time was called he wasn’t supposed to touch him, people already coming to drag them out. He was vaguely aware of the fact that he escaped this one mostly unscathed, not uncommon for a quick fight. There’s a reason other dogs panicked at the sight of him, but he didn’t really like to think about that. Right now he didn’t really want to think at all though.

He more or less collapsed once he was locked up in that cell again, adrenaline finally leaving him, a wave of exhaustion and relief taking over. He was used to that part too, he was lucky it was already late, a good excuse to crash completely once they returned home. He had won, he wasn’t in any trouble, and most importantly Wren wasn’t in any trouble. He hoped he was doing okay right now, hoped that Vanessa wasn’t harassing him too much. Cain was probably in a good mood, he’d be thrilled when he finally came for Zander, too preoccupied with the rest of the fights for now. He didn’t particularly mind, a brief break sounded amazing right now.

As expected Cain was happy to see him when he finally picked him up- he couldn’t actually remember the last time Cain was happy to see him. It was better than anger though, he was ready to accept this, accept praise and- a reward. He hadn’t even thought about that, about what he could possibly want or need. As of right now, he just wanted to see Wren, the poor kid had been dragged along despite the obvious pain and discomfort. Cain had left him with Vanessa while he came to get him, they returned to Vanessa not so subtly feeling along his ribs, trying to find the broken one, ignoring how he tried to pull away as much as she would let him.

He was relieved to see him, but what he hadn’t expected was the look he gave him, blue eyes wide as soon as Cain brought him over. It was a look he hadn’t seen since Wren had first been bought, he was scared, stepping away when Zander got close. It hurt, he felt it immediately in the pit of his stomach, that sense of dread that just another person feared him. Somehow though, it felt so much worse that it was Wren of all people. Suddenly, he was dreading being locked into a room with him.

“I knew you could still fight!” Cain had laughed on the car ride home. He tried to tune him out but it was hard. “If you could do that all the time, I’d never have had to get Wren!” Zander didn’t like the sound of that, and from the way his eyes widened neither did Wren, the idea he may get rid of him clearly scared them both. Cain didn’t notice though, continuing to ramble on. “I guess you just needed the right motivation, huh? If you keep that up maybe I can start switching you and the pup out, once he recovers anyway.”

He could live with that, taking turns. It at least gave them both a chance to rest, which was certainly more than he’d had before, only given a break once Wren proved to be better. Until then though, he’d have to make sure he was careful, make sure he did better than he ever had before. Wren was already hurt, he couldn’t stand if it got worse because he fucked up.

So long as he fought well, Wren would be fine, and even if he was scared of him after watching that, him being fine was really all that mattered.

#whump #my writing #my oc's #Wren #Zander #Cain #uhhh #fighting #broken ribs #pet whump #dehumanization #I promise there's actual detailed fights planned this just wasn't one of them

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soyouareandrewdobson · 4 years

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The biggest post yet: Analyzing a multipage story

Before I begin, I like to thank every follower so far and the ones who helped me over the course of the last weeks to build this tumblr up. This is for you and in a way the first test run for future, hopefully more elaborate reviews of Dobson’s comics. Hope you enjoy it and learn something.

Without further ado, ladys, gentlemen and the colorful rianbow inbetween, I present the unpublished “So you are a cartoonist?” story about the King of Queens trying to become a comic artist

Okay, this is not quite right. What is going to happen is as followed:

A few years ago Dobson released via his patreon the unpublished sketches of a multipage comic story about the struggles of a webcomic artist by the name of Kevin James, with no relation to the famous comedian who as of recently is also playing a neo nazi in a supposedly pretty damn good home invasion movie.

What I want to do is now go through this comic and point out some of the flaws in the writing/progression, okay? Cause honestly, this is not going to be the worst thing Dobson ever published. But it unfortunately has more than a few little hiccups that show Dobson’s flaws when it comes to creating a story.

So off to the next pages

Now as you can see, it is pretty obvious that the story is heading into a direction where Kevin seems to be a down on his luck creator. Having to work at the blandest named Burger Joint since Good Burger, with discount Doctor Wily as his manager and getting pretty little money into his account. Seriously, only 206 $ plus? I don’t know much about minimum wage in the states, but are you really getting that little even after taxes have been accounted for? Or is it likely Kevin is pretty deep into the reds and his deposit was even putting it into the plus again. If so… yaiks.

And now we are getting into the pages where a few slight problems may show up, depending on your own interpretation of things.

See, in my opinion it is obvious that we are meant to feel sorry for Kevin, cause he lost his minimum wage job now for simply being late. Something that can happen to all of us. And yeah, losing your job when you have not really much in the bank, that sucks. So I would wish for the character to get at least a new job soon. However, we also need to acknowledge that the manager is not in the wrong here. After all, Kevin supposedly has shown up late for work for some time and his excuse that he was late because he had to work on his comic is not reasonable. For a lack of a better word, making this comic is just his hobby, not his job. His job is to make burgers and sell them, because the manager of the burger joint is paying him for that. So excuse me if my sympathy is not that much with him

Not really much to say here. I just want to point out two things: One, the countdown that showed up also in previous pages and goes further down the longer we get into the story, two that it actually may be a good thing that Dobson has not drawn the copy shop employee in more detail. Cause one thing I came to realize over time with Dobson is, that often times his sketches have more of a softness to them than the final product, where e.g. faces are more harsher and frankly, uglier than they need to be, in addition to being a bit oversaturated thanks to the colors. And with Dobson’s tendency to make also angry faces genuinely spiteful, I wonder if the copy shop owner would have come off in the final product as more “strawman mean” than necessary. Cause it is very obvious that “poor Kevin” seems to suffer from the indifferences of his environment.

One month since he was fired and one more month till we are in the present and he loses his electricity cause he has not paid his bills. And this is where I slightly start to lose my sympathy with the character. Again, it is obvious that the story wants us to feel bad for Kevin because he is down on his luck although all he wants to do is just create his comic.

But at the same time, only halfway through the comic I have to ask, how much of his shitty situation is not just him doing nothing against it?

I mean, he has obvious money issues, he can’t pay the electricity bill and he has been fired a month ago. Shouldn’t he at this point not have attempted yet to get a replacement job? Or ask for unemployment support? Do commission work for fans in exchange for money?

I am just saying, his woes become a bit less relatable if he does not really attempt to at least try and fix the situation.

And unfortunately, this development continues still

Gesh, this comic is really old when Kevin still owns a flip phone…

Also, I need to give his mom credit. 500$ send to her son so that he can pay his debts off and live well enough for a few days. Sorry, but 500$ is actually enough for me to live for a month and pay my groceries and major bills if I am careful enough. Lets hope Kevin is the same and that he looks out for a job

… nope, he does not look for a job. Two weeks after he got the money he still does not have a job to support himself and assure he has a roof over his head. In fact, he likely loses more money than he necessarily needs to by going to a diner.

Look, unlike other characters created by Dobson, I really do not hate Kevin. Primarily because he does not show any of the despicable or idiotic traits other characters by him do. But Kevin is not doing anything to improve his situation, period. And that is not really how you should write “down on their luck” characters, cause that doesn’t really make them sympathetic. The sympathy a reader gives those characters stems primarily from the fact, that though they really try their best, fate is not working into their favor for different reasons beyond their control. But here the problem is, that Kevin has to a certain degree control over his situation. He can decide what he wants to do with the money, he can decide to either do or not do anything to improve his situation at least slightly. And he doesn’t do anything.

Dear lord, Kevin is essentially Dobson when it comes to the laters overall situation and how he does little to improve anything when he is stuck.

Then there is also the entire thing about the waitress calling Kevin’s work amazing. For starters, I kinda doubt that that in our modern day society and work environment her acting like that in front of a customer, even if the customer does not mind, would fly with her employer. After all, professionalism and all that. Next, her praise feels shallow. The typical cardboard speech praise checkmark lines you can give to any piece of work, that don’t really mean anything if you do not elaborate on what it really is you find amazing about the characters in terms of personality or what it is about the story that hits home (e.g. can you realte to the characters, are you genuinely thinking the story is funny etc)

In fact, what even is Kevin’s comic?

I get that his work is not the center stage of this story, but think about it: we are supposed to think that Kevin is talented and that he needs his lucky break. But would his work even justify success and admiration? All we know is that the comic features a character called Kat (not really an original name) who for a lack of a better word and based on the sketch outline may just be the bastard offspring of Bubsy and Talus from Alex ze Pirate. And that is it. For all I know, and taking for shit and giggles a made up meta narrative into account, his work may actually be on the same level as Alex ze Pirate itself. And if that is the case, let me just fill out an application as janitor for Kevin right now. If he is lucky he can make around 1000 dollars a month soon.

This right here is actually a prime example of a common problem in Dobson’s longer story: Him breaking the old rule of “show, don’t tell”. The narrative tells us e.g. via the words of the waitress and the fact he has fans, that Kevin is a good cartoonist. But we do not see it for ourselves. And I am not suggesting here Dobson should draw 20 additional pages of Kevin’s creations and comics, because that would be freaking overkill. But imagine if this comic started off with the first page being part of a a very fantastic fight scene or story. Something rich in color and characters. Only for it to be revealed in the next page to be actually NOT the story we are supposed to read, but something Kevin creates right now. By doing so Dobson could not only show for the actual main story that Kevin is justified in having success, Dobson could have also shown for himself how he can be imaginative. How he can toy with tropes and expectations, while also creating something “new” out of nowhere just for fun. But that is not what we got. And all we have now are four more pages.

Again, ONE MORE WEEK passed and he still did not get a job. And in fact, he is also overdue on his rent and wants to ask his mother AGAIN for money.

Dude… I am all out of sympathy. Sell your freaking kidney for all I care, offer your landlord oral sex or that you are going to do work around the house for him, just try to do something except beg mother to help you out again. Especially as she has already send you 500 dollar. What have you done with that money anyway? Did most of it get spend on your electric bill? If so, how huge was it? And did you fail to pay rent for a couple of months now that even your landlord is having enough? I ask the later in part because I genuinely do not know how fast a landlord can vacate you in the US. See, where I live you can get vacated too when you don’t pay up, but most landlords are by law forced to at least let you stay for a few more weeks till you either find a way to pay up or another place to live. Forceful removal of a tenant can mostly only happen if the person causes severe damage to the apartment or is facing criminal charges.

So NOW you are looking for a job. Good luck getting 700 dollars in three days though. I can’t imagine that even if you get hired, that anyone will pay up that amount of money upfront to help you. Again, do you have no other options, Kevin? Also, for how long was that sign up there? How often have you gone by that diner? Also dear lord, the waitress really is not the smartest if she thinks being a webcomic artist pays all the bills

So if the manager has already found someone, even if it was “just” now, why was the “now hiring” sign even still in the window? And he assumes there are even more bills? Kevin… do you have a genuine problem when it comes to handling finances? Would you do better, if you only get an allowance? Just one more page. And with it my biggest complains

And so our comic ends with all the build up of how down on his luck Kevin is, being essentially pointless, because at the end of the day he is still lucky and all his problems get resolved not by his own doing but by deus ex machina.

Okay, this is not entirely accurate.

After all, Kevin DID create this comic. He wrote it, he drew it, he send the script to multiple publishers, he got rejected multiple times and now he is also going to finally get recognition for it all. You can say he worked to get his foot into the industry. The problem is, that none of that work is really shown in the story presented to us. We do not see him work on the script, potentially rewrite or fix up mistakes, get the impression that even with the bad situation he is in, he still wants at the very least this passion project to succeed. All we know is he worked on something and now because it is convenient for the story, his misfortune is going to end and he gets a happy end that is way too convenient for my taste.

Look, I know nothing about how publishers work. If someone reads this and has genuine experience in how publishers approach you if they are interested in your work and how much money you can really make through it, you are free to tell me what you know or have experienced directly or indirectly. Cause frankly, I find it hard to believe that any publisher would immediately do the thing Kevin now experiences here. First off, why would they not attempt to call him or get into a more convenient contact with him than the mail? Second, advanced payment? Shouldn’t you at least try to handle out basic deals before you send him a paycheck over?

I get it is supposed to be a happy end for Kevin here, but honestly, with the way how even if people are getting published, success may not be immediate or not to a degree Dobson actually hopes for. Sorry, but I am also just jaded enough as a person to know that even otherwise acclaimed work does take time to really hit a certain level of popularity. Luke Pearson e.g., wrote and drew the first volume of the comic series Hilda in 2010, just a few months after he finished college. The comic was a success and resulted in him publishing up to four more books till 2016. But only with his comic being adapted into a Netflix series in 2018 did he also get recognition outside of Great Britain, from which he is likely going to make enough money to have a comfortable life for the next couple of years. Mind you, I said comfortable, not “luxurious”. Cause this is actually one thing I fear with Dobson to a degree: That he thinks that being a successful comic creator equals also becoming stinking rich. Cause as far as I know, this is not really the case for many comic creators around the world. But I digress.

This post is not about the potential delusions of Dobson when it comes to how much of a fortune he could make through a successful publication, this post is about judging a SYAC story that got never published.

And frankly, the story of Kevin James… I don’t hate it. Honestly, I think there is potential for a decent, even longer story about a webcomic artist trying to get his big break. The problem is, this is not a story about the challenges Kevin faces in creating his comic. This is not the story about someone being determined to get his work out, even if he struggles in real life. This is not the story of someone facing and dealing with his real life struggles in a mature way, making the happy end all the more feel rightfully earned. This is a story where honestly there would be no drama at all (or at least less drama), if Kevin even attempted to do something halfway logical most other people in real life would do, if they found themselves in his situation (like looking for a job, trying to work commissions etc.) . And a drama where the dramatic event would not happen if some basic logic even a kid can think off would be applied, is at least for me not really a drama.

So yeah, it is not the worst thing by Dobson, but it is very flawed to say the least.

#so you are a cartoonist #syac #andrew dobson #storytime #comic review #webcomics #comics #multi page #criticism

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featheredadora · 4 years

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please I want to know more about budgies and their unwavering kindness

Hi! (Please forgive me, and lmk, if you wanted this answered in a different way/anon, I’m still trying to learn tumblr stuff!) But thank you for asking because this gives me a chance to talk about Squish, my first budgie!

So this is Squishy (also called ‘Squeezy’ by my nan, who couldn’t remember his name). He is sadly no longer with us, but honestly I have so many good memories of this little guy. Squish wasn’t smart. At all. Head completely empty. But he was the most loving little guy. He would sit on my laptop while I played games every single day, he would share carrot with me, he would come running up my chest and continuously kiss my chin over and over.

But one of the most amazing things about him was how he was just completely, unwaveringly, kind and friendly. With the other birds too. You might know that budgies, when they’re being affectionate, do this thing where they kind of softly bash their head into the other bird and make almost ‘clucking’ noises. Well Squish did that to everyone and everything. Looking at him, it was like he was just so full of love and happiness all of the time that it just overflowed.

When we got Ayato (the cockatiel in the photo above), he was terrified and scared. He came to us in a bad state, and was so terrified that he would go into a huge panic if you even touched anything in his cage. He and Squish observed each other for a while before they were allowed to meet, and Ayato went from being scared of him to kind of hating him. When we finally let them out together, I was really upset to see that they didn’t get on - Ayato kept thinking Squishy was trying to hurt him, and Squish couldn’t understand why Ayato was being like that. But after weeks of me tearing my hair out wondering if we’d made a mistake in getting Ayato, Squish finally won him over. Ayato would let him preen him, and quickly became incredibly attached to his little buddy - he would even feed him often.

Squish did the same with all of our other birds. Y’know how some vet places have like emotional support dogs to help calm the other animals down? Squish was like that. No matter how much other birds didn’t want to be friends, or got angry with him, he just kept on being loving, and his love would always win out. Adora, our other cockatiel, was badly abused by her previous owner. And I have to admit that at the beginning I was overwhelmed and scared myself - she was so frightened, so damaged, and vicious towards me. I was worried she would be like that with the other birds. When we first let her around them, my heart was in my mouth. None of the others would go near her, but Squish ran straight up to her and did his affectionate little headbash, over and over. He invited her to play, he tried to preen her. He just completely won her over with friendship, and the rest of the birds followed his lead.

Fast forward to now, and I’ve got Zelda (my conure) who doesn’t really know how to get on with other birds. She is too violent with her playing, too fast, too eager, and she can be selfish with her things (although I love her with all my heart). We also got Cloud, so that Allana (our other budgie) wouldn’t be sad to be without Squishy. Now, we had Squish from a baby, raised him up ourselves, but Cloud was already an adult when we got him, so we weren’t expecting him to be like Squish at all. But he is, completely. He affecionately bashes EVERYTHING. He is so kind and so gentle with everyone. But Zelda is a difficult case. Then, as of a few days ago, we noticed him following her around everywhere. She would get angry at him, or tell him to go away, but he just kept following her, making affectionate noises and asking to play. Then one night, out of the corner of our eyes (Zelda doesn’t allow this if she knows we are watching), we caught him preening her. And we’ve seen him do it a lot since. This might as well have been a miracle, given how she is with other birds, and it gives us so much hope that, through him, she will learn how to be a good friend to the others too.

So that kind of concludes my long little summary of how budgies seem to be so unwaveringly kind (sorry for all the text! I just love birds so much!). I’m a huge fan of kids shows that have characters that are always relentlessly, unapologetically kind, and show that kindness wins out in the end, because it’s something I so desperately want to be true. And I hope it is true. Squish taught me that I could love unconditionally - I’d never loved anything like that before him - and I want to be able to say one day that I can love everyone in the way that he does: unwaveringly, unconditional, overflowing kindness.

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nachohypno · 4 years

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Pine’s College Jocks 2 Ch. 6 - (Re)Building time!

Leo’s POV

I do believe in destiny.

Or I have to, otherwise this would be a very specific chain of coincidences that would have made me very mad, but it didn’t seem to be the case.

Barrinfield city wasn’t exactly where I was headed, but business is business. I was looking forward for a meeting to further expand the company I own, since these things are usually pretty simple. But, the wealthy guys decided to change the place of the meeting to near

A few words, breaking the wills of my comrades and enforcing mine over theirs. As soon as that’s done, I can start counting a couple more numbers in the company’s records.

I walked in the building I was staying in, a hotel with great ratings. Some would call me selfish, because I use my mind control powers to get what I want, but I really don’t care. I AM the one with mind control powers, there must be a reason why I’ve got them.

But I’m bloody sure it doesn’t involve helping some weirdos become professional football players, that’s some… weird fantasy fetish world Piney lives in. (Besides, everyone knows that rugby is waaaay better than football).

Don’t get me wrong, I love that guy. Seeing someone so… ‘pure’ to call it some way, not being corrupted by the powers and trying to do good with them. He’s nice to be around but he also seems kinda… I dunno, but not like dumb because he’s probably way smarter than me.

I got in the elevator and pressed the second-to-last button.

And now, we got ourselves in a bit of a situation. Changing my ways? Not something I thought I would be doing in my Saturdays but alright, I’m amazing so I’ll handle this like a pro.

Besides, he’ll be changing his ways too. Maybe he would learn how things work when you are an all-powerful mind controller.

I mean, I see it like this: There are two kinds of people. Normal people, who live their lives thinking they are free, and want mundane things like the new Xbox, a good job, etc.

Then, us mind controllers. Pine and I are the only ones I’m aware of, but that’s still enough. We have the power to change someone’s personality, routine, likes and dislikes. Their way of thinking, or how they see the world, too!

He wants to do good with his powers? That’s great, and I’m really proud of him for that. But I honestly prefer what I do. Living my life to the fullest and just… taking what I want, because who would stop to think about it when you are basically a god?

Okay, I’m going way over the top here. But, my point is, we’ve both been blessed with this gift, and I’d like him to try out new things before settling down and doing charity for the rest of his life.

He does seem to have a pretty thought of system by the way he handles off things in his campus. Enjoying his good college years while also playing fair. I didn’t do that, nah. I preferred just telling my professors to give me a good grade, since I couldn’t see myself in the future using boring stuff in my work.

The elevator’s doors opened and I was greeted by a corridor. I walked up to my door and entered the apartment I was staying in during my staying in Pine’s city.

I was greeted by a pretty good view, as Alan was still working out in the middle of the room. He was the previous owner of LeoCorp, my old classmate didn’t hesitate to pass the ownership to me after I was done with him.

Now, he was my mindless bro, wanting to keep himself big and strong to serve his master. Hey, I love pretty buffed guys and good looking girls. But I shoot more for the gay side of my bisexuality, I feel a deeper connection with my bros. (“Deeper”, get that?)

I moved towards my friend. He was mumbling numbers as he did some pushups. “59… 60… 61…”

Alan was just a few months younger than me, with blond hair, perfectly smooth body, and a body similar to mine. Wide shoulders, lean torso with nice abs and pecs. When I wasn’t around, he worked out or resumed his assistant’s duties, doing most of my job for me.

After he unwillingly gave me his company, I decided to repay him by making him a permanent slave of mine. He had a good salary, but he didn’t care those lil’ details as long as he was able to serve me.

But, I’ve made a deal. Being more… “nice” with my powers. I’ve got in front of Alan as he did his pushups and stared at him.

He stopped as soon as he noticed me, and looked at me with a big grin “Master! How long have you been there? I’m sorry I haven’t-”

“Quiet, I’m trying to work here” I said, trying to concentrate. I stared at his eyes, trying to reestablish our little mind link. I hoped Pine could someday teach me how he manages to make his mind links permanent, because having them for a few hours was a pain in the ass, honestly.

There, I created the bond. Alan’s eyes became glassy as I toyed with his mind. He was a puppet, a mere pet looking forward to pleasure and obey his master… Well, not anymore.

I tried my best to repair him, just like I remembered him, at least. A friendly and funny guy at my university, with a lot of energy and ideas to take his family business to the sky. Ultimately, he managed to achieve that, just not as the president of it.

I cared for my friend, and I would never destroy his life. But a naïve mistake (Uh… my fault, sorry) left him without his mind, and that’s… that’s something I didn’t know how to fix. I’ve never really looked deeply into it, either. I’ve got into that college because of a rugby scholarship, but my mind control powers also helped a lot with the recruiters.

After learning Pine was a psychology major, I assumed he did the same thing as I did. Mind control your way into being the best of the class, but that didn’t seem to be the case. The guy actually paid attention and tried to study hard enough to be the best, while also using his powers to help others achieve the same result.

Having confirmed that he had the brains and was smarter than me, I wanted to ask him for help with this issue but… I have to give the example. I’m supposed to be older, better, stronger, I’m running out of adjectives to describe how I’m supposed to be superior, and I wanted to think that he looked up to me the day we’ve met.

Besides, he did it already, with the swimming coach. Another accident on my behalf, but he managed to fix it quite easily. Something I haven’t achieved before, but he was angry with me after that, so I didn’t dare to ask him if he could repeat it with someone he never met before.

I could see why, I had to send him my memories of our time together at college, and recreate his personality from there. A big fan of football and baseball, but not that athletic himself. I fixed that when I made him mine, too.

But now… humanity returned to him, as his expression faded and was quickly replaced by confusion.

He still was enthralled, since I didn’t finish with the last details. He still knew who his family was, he regained his knowledge from college, and everything that he became oblivious to returned to his mind.

I snapped my fingers in front of him. The new Alan blinked a few times, before crawling a few meters away from me. “What… Where…? …Leo?”

“Hey…” I offered my hand to him “It’s okay, let me explain everything”

But he didn’t seem to want any explanation. He looked angry, but scared at the same tme“What are you going to explain?” He mumbled. “H-How you ruined my life? How you took over my family company and made it yours?” Alan’s eyes teared up as he looked around. This is… weird, Alan would never act like this. “And what the bloody fuck is this place, Leo?”

Seems like he could remember everything that happened while under my control. That was unexpected. Still, something wasn’t right about him.

“This is… this is our place, man” I said, with a reassuring smile “Barrinfield city, in the US. Isn’t that awesome?”

“Why, Leo?” He looked up at me, without moving his body, only his head as he now noticed his very muscled body and checked himself out while remaining wary of me. “Why did you do this to me? I was your friend!”

“It wasn’t… It was not something personal, I do it with everyone!” I tried to excuse myself, but he tried to get up. He almost fell, it was like he was (or felt) weak.

“B-But that doesn’t mean you should do it! I had a business to lead! And… the first thing I remember is…” He scratched his head “It’s sorta foggy, but I remember being in our college dorm, and you seemed pissed for some reason. Twenty minutes later, I was on my knees and… I couldn’t think anymore, because of you”

I should have felt guilty, but I couldn’t. I don’t know why, but I didn’t feel bad for my actions, because I made him happy. He couldn’t forget about how blissful and happy he felt while under my control, and that’s probably what bothered him. The asshole should be thanking me!

“It was not intentional; and by the time, I didn’t know I could bring you back!”

“That’s a good reason to take over MY company, right?” Alan lumped over on the couch and just laid there, looking at me with sadness in his eyes. He wasn’t mad, he seemed more… disappointed, and scarred about these last few years.

I wasn’t lying, I didn’t know I could rebuild someone’s personality based on his information and memories. Pine did it like a natural, with coach Chris. That means I’m a horrible mind controller? Probably, but in my defense, I barely cared to search for an answer, either.

“You had no mind” I explained. “You weren’t in condition to run such an important business! I tried to make it work and fix you but… you know how that went, I could only do so much and luckily you got back to working in no time!”

“Yeah. As your assistant. So much bloody bullshit, man. You know what’s the worst part?” I raised an eyebrow. Something worse? “I still feel you inside my head, like some kind of parasite waiting for you to say something so I can jump out of this sofa and obey. And I hate it. This is not life, Leo. And… I rather not live like this.”

I moved over to his side “What are you talking about? This can totally work out! You’re back now, Al!”

But he shook his head “Bring me back under. At least, I was happy like that, and I seemed to work out a lot during these few years. C’mon, unless you want me to do something we’ll both regret” He sounded in pain, like he really didn’t want to be here right now.

‘Fuck,’ I thought ‘I fucked up again’

But I knew that this wasn’t Alan, not really. The real Alan wasn’t like this, and he knew it. If it wasn’t his normal personality who was in control of his body, he wouldn’t want to be back at all.

This was probably my fault, too. I made this Alan with my memories, but… maybe it got also mixed with my own thoughts?

I do think it was a bit of an asshole move, taking over his company instead of passing it on to another member of his family. He does have a sister, after all. It just didn’t feel right at the moment, and I had to think fast!

Maybe my insecurities went into his new personality too, and he started acting like I imagined he would? I couldn’t know for certain, being a mind controller was both a pain in the ass, and a gift from heaven.

He was too prideful to let me toy with his mind before, and he was still that prideful when he knew that he wasn’t really in control of his body. Not with me around, at least. And he was right, I could feel in our fainting mind link that he was dying for crawling towards me and pleasuring his master.

“Very well” I mumbled, looking back into his eyes, trying to strengthen our mind link “Just look into my eyes, and relax. Feel everything around you vanish, as you let my voice lead you… deeper and deeper”

His expression gave a 180°, a nice smile replacing the previous anger/sadness. His eyes glazed as the mind link reappeared, and I pushed his barely functional new personality to the back of his mind. Pine was right, this was easy.

Would have been cool to find it out in a less painful way.

“How do you feel, Al?” I asked him, caressing his face.

“Good, master… But that doesn’t matter, how may I serve you today?” And now, he was the mindless Alan he was a few hours ago. I felt like shit now, I never wanted this. And as much as I hated to say this… I needed to learn how to control my powers to avoid doing this ever again.

Better late than never, huh?

I sat beside him on the sofa. “Just… hug me, a’ight?”

“Yes, master!” He said, before hugging me with a blissful expression in his face.

“I’m so sorry, man. I really am” But it was kinda pointless. Apologizing to someone who doesn’t have awareness nor personality.

I fucked up big time when I enslaved him, and I fucked up big time again.

I needed more help from Pine than I thought I would need. Fuck my life, but that’s not a bad thing, right?

My mind controller friend will probably help me become a better and nicer mind controller, without a doubt!

----

Pine’s POV

I honestly didn’t know what to do.

I mean, having Mike become a mindless slave was fun for a while, but it’s not like now I’m going to leave my place and starting yelling at strangers “Hey YOU! You will obey me!” Then point at another guy and yell “You will also obey me! EVERYONE WILL OBEY MEEEE!!”

No, that thought made me shiver. It could work, because of the verbal mind control, but it would be really, really weird (and wrong) to do.

I preferred just chilling for now, and tomorrow I’ll get back to my normal routine. Leo didn’t give me exact instructions, he just told me to “have more fun and be less moral about it”, so I’m pretty free. I think he would have a harder time with his part of the deal.

Although… I don’t really think it counts as a deal? Seemed more like we were making a bet, or daring each other like little kids.

I imagined a little Leo next to a little me, as the two little mind controllers got into a heated argument. “I bet you can’t have fun with your powers!” Little Leo said, before Little me answered a “Yuh-uh!”

“Nuh-uh!” Little Leo answered, trying to mock my little self.

“Yuh-uh!” Lil’ Pine said again, and they just continued like that. I chuckled at the imaginary scenario playing in my head.

I could easily have more fun if I wanted, and then wipe off any change I made after I’m done with it. It’s a nice thing, knowing that I can back up their personalities before actually messing with them.

I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. Thinking about what to do, and Mike wasn’t around to have fun with him. He went to the university’s gym, before his first class.

It’s been a few days since I’ve made that “deal” with Leo, and I barely did anything with my powers (except for the usual stuff, like helping the football team and etc). It’s not that I’m lazy, if anything I’d like to be over with this as soon as possible, forget about it and go back to my average college student/jock master life.

I sighed. “Better get to work” I told myself, as I got up from my bed. But… what could I do?

I contemplated my phone in my hand as I thought about it. Finishing with my plan would be nice, I’ve had coach Peter/Brody, Mark, Chris and Geoff under my control. Mike wanted to help out too, but I decided to finish with the plan first before getting him in there.

Hmm… Now that I think of it, looking over for Chris would be a good thing. Trying to see if his rebuilt personality is fully working after the little… incident we had after meeting.

Yeah. That will be good, and I’ll also present him with his chores and work at the club.

‘Excellent idea!’ I told myself, before answering ‘Why, thank you!’ to myself.

I… I should get going before I keep talking to myself. Yeah, that’s also a good idea. I called Chris over and summoned him to the sports club, as I grabbed my bag and left my apartment. It was going to be a good day!

----

I arrived at the entrance of the sports club, and grabbed the keys from my pocket. It’s been a while since I’ve actually been at this place, but I was used to it since Mike dragged me a lot to workout with him. (Not that I’m complaining, I have barely-noticeable definition in my muscles now!)

I looked around and noticed Chris waiting for me near the entrance. He just looked around with his headphones on.

Without his swimming cap, I noticed his blond hair was styled in a messy, kind of spiky way. It looked good on him. He was wearing some sunglasses, a plain light blue buttoned shirt and some blue shorts. His whistle was still hanging from a cord around his neck.

I must admit, it was nicer to be around him without feeling the dread of accidentally having erased his personality. But… I’d still have to be careful, because I didn’t want to break him again. He had a placeholder of a personality now, mainly created to make his body function as a normal human being.

I took a deep breath and walked up to him. He didn’t seem to notice me, so I patted his shoulder to catch his attention.

The coach looked down at me and grinned. “Hey man. Sorry, didn’t notice you there”

I mumbled a quick “Its-alright” before moving to the door and unlocking it. Chris followed me, still smiling. That’s part of the new personality, he’s excitable and happy, so he probably couldn’t wait to see the inside.

It was still quite clean, because I never asked the janitor to stop coming to work, even though the place was closed. I saw online that if you don’t keep big buildings like this one cleaned enough, it will quickly start decaying. The man received his full pay, I made sure of that too.

We were greeted by the nice view of the lobby, where people are supposed to show their credentials or sign up as a member to enter the actual thing.

Past this part, the big gym Mikey and I used to work out at (A bit unwillingly on my part, because Mike liked to play the personal trainer with me) and the doors that lead to the other parts, like the tennis court, the inside pool, and the locker rooms. I loved how this place maintained everything quite organized.

“So, what are we doing here, master?” Yup, as I suspected. When I tried to rebuild his personality I told him to treat me like a friend when in public, but as his master when alone. “You never finished explaining me my orders”

“I think you could take care of the pool area. I mean, coaching people in there and… you know, that kind of stuff”

He beamed up “Yes master! How did you know I like swimming so much? You’re the best!”

I tried to give him a warm smile, but I couldn’t help but feel bad. I sighed “By the way, did you bring what I asked you to?”

He looked at me, a bit confused, before a light bulb seemed to turn on above his head and he started looking through his pockets.

A few seconds later, he offered me his phone. “I took pictures of everything you asked in good quality, master. But what’s that for?”

I made a dismissive gesture with my hand “You’ll find out in a while. For now, why don’t we go check the pool?”

He nodded blissfully. His new personality seems to be working, at least for the basic social actions. He should be much ruder, to be honest. But I preferred to make him a nice guy instead of rebuilding him into an asshole.

…That shouldn’t be my choice, actually. But it’s not like the mind police is going to come after Leo because he erased someone’s personality and stepped out for me to fix it, right?

I had an idea for getting him back to his old self. I could totally leave him like this and he would be completely functional. But with this placeholder personality I made up, his memories weren’t working as they should. After a day or so, he messaged me about “a strange man messaging him when he was sure they never talked before, and a bunch of things that he didn’t know how they appeared on his apartment”. He NEEDED a permanent fix, and I was the one who was going to do it.

We walked through the gym, and into the locker rooms. “Do you have swimming trunks or should I get you some at the equipment store?” I tell you, this place has everything. I get why Mike loves it, and that’s some of the reason I want to see it growing again, too.

“I’m wearing my speedos, master! They feel really comfortable!” Huh, never ordered him to do that. But that’s great, it could be his original personality resurfacing!

“Great. Let’s get changed, then!”

I started to take off my clothes, slowly. I was thinking about what I had to do.

I read about this theory in one of my psychology books, about the mind and how it stores stuff. I like to think that a personality can’t be fully erased, and it can be brought back with enough stimulus and maybe some help with my powers.

That’s why I wanted him to bring a few of his things. Trophies, family photos, anything that could help me rebuild the narcissistic swimmer’s original self.

I looked at him and noticed he was already on his speedo. Quite fast, I like it.

I finished undressing and grabbed some swimming trunks from my bag, as Chris blissfully waited for me to be ready by the door.

I finished, grabbed his phone from a bench and walked towards him. “Let’s start, alright?”

“Yes, master!” Chris and I entered the pool area afterwards. The place seemed just like the one we visited just some days ago, but decorated with different announcements and a few triangles hanging from the walls (Like some kind of tournament decoration, or a party!)

The water was clean, and if I opened up this place today, no one would manage to tell it’s been closed for a few weeks already. I’ve also been hyping it up on the club’s social media so… Everything was almost ready.

Almost, because the coaches still needed some tuning in their programming.

Chris looked around, excited. I could tell he wanted to jump in and do some laps, but he had to wait for my commands.

I looked at his unlocked phone in my hand, passing pics until I found one of a big, golden trophy. It had some kind of ocean wave at the top of it and the inscription “2014’s swimming tournament – First place”, along with a picture of him and what seemed to be some good looking sibling or friend holding it up with him. Great, that may be a good start.

I showed him the picture as he did some warm up exercises. “Remember what happened here?”

He looked kind of confused, and shook his head “I know I won that because I have the trophy, but I can’t remember it happening, master. The guy’s name is Jimmy, though. I’ve learned that after texting with him a few times in the last few days, but I can’t remember much of him either. He’s a friend!”

Cool, that would make a nice start point.

I backed up his placeholder personality with the mind link, just in case something went wrong, and continued with my plan. I told him to sit down, and when he did, I pushed his personality to the back of his mind, driving him into a nice and mindless state.

His excited grin grew on his face, as his eyes became glassy. Now I wanted to have Mike in here with us, he reminded me a lot of mindless Mikey.

“I want you to listen closely, and try to search in your subconscious more information about Jimmy, can you do that for me?” I commanded him, with a bit of hope.

If everything went well… Chris would be himself in no time.

He nodded, and closed his eyes. He laid down in the ground, and I tried to look what happened in his mind with the help of our mind link. I just had to concentrate a bit… strengthen the bond and help him out…

I laid down in the floor and closed my eyes. I had to feeling that this would help, somehow, with my concentration.

As I suspected, Chris’ mind was empty, but I pushed a bit... more… I may be able to, I dunno, get something from him?

And… there I go! I could hear Chris mumbling something, but I was too focused to let this go.

I tried as hard as I could to push the enslaved swimmer deeper into the trance, and when I felt myself getting tired from doing it, I stopped and opened my eyes. “Chris?” I asked him.

The hunk beside me was drooling with his eyes totally zoned out. He barely seemed conscious, but he still answered a “Yes… master?”

“Do you know who Jimmy is?” I asked him, with hope in my voice. I didn’t care, I wanted to get somewhere with this. Anywhere, maybe just a step closer to fix the mess I indirectly caused to this poor man’s mind.

Chris gave me a very weak nod, followed by a “yes… master… Jimmy’s my… best friend…” Alright, probably something he already knew before, so let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

“And can you tell me more about Jimmy? How did the two of you met?” The psychologist inside of me loved this. I couldn’t wait to graduate and do this full time, it’s a piece of cake when you have mind control powers.

“Uh… Can’t… remember, master…” He dragged the words, I tried to make him push a bit deeper, until he continued speaking “Wait… Bodybuilding competition… He got in third place, and recognized me from Instagram… Became best bros afterwards…”

Holy. Cows.

I’m making progress! Hell yeah!

“Chris, you’re doing so well for me…” Hmm, maybe some stimulus from the outside may help him too? “Would you mind taking off your speedo, as you drift deeper and deeper into your subconscious?”

“Yeessss… masterrr…” He reached out for his red underwear and took it off with a kind of robotic move. Anyway, moving back to the rebuilding the swimmer part.

“I want you to listen very carefully, with each memory or fragment we recover from… the old you, Christopher Andrew Wright, you will start feeling a wave of pleasure through your entire body, but it’ll last a few seconds, vanishing until you reach a new memory, understood? When you gather all the pieces, you will feel better than you have ever felt in your life”

There, a little motivation. Chris smiled and mumbled “Yeeesss… master…” Such a nice and compliant coach I’ve got here.

“Now, going deeper…” I tapped the phone’s screen and looked for another pic. One that seemed to be a family pic, he was hugging an elder woman and a young-ish guy, probably a few years younger than Chris, who looked very much like him. I moved to show him the photo and said “What can you tell me about this one?”

He remained silent, vaguely looking at the phone with his drool still coming out of his mouth. His mind must have done ‘click’ after staring at the pic for a bit, and searching on his subconscious. The entranced Chris whispered “Mom… and ma lil’ bro…”

YAY! More progress! I wanted to yell from the excitement and adrenaline I was feeling, but that would startle the mindfucked man.

“And what can you tell me about them? Something from your childhood maybe?” Since it would be an old memory, he would probably need more effort to reach out to it. But in the state he was in now, and me pushing him deeper as he could go with the help of our mind link, this was going to be easy.

“I… My bro and I… we used to love soccer…” Huh, another jock? Not like I’m going to go out and get him but I’m always amused to hear about them.

I grew to like them a lot, the jock stereotype turning out to be one of my favorites by now. “We played a lot… until I found my passion for swimming…” A little smile crossed his expressionless face, probably because he remembered his favorite sport.

His cock started to harden too, the ‘pleasure wave’ suggestion doing its work and it made me smile for a bit, before realizing I had still work to do.

“Try holding on to the idea of swimming, and look out for when you discovered you enjoyed swimming. Can you do that for me, Chris?”

He nodded slowly again with a nice “Yeesss… master…” I waited patiently for him to work on his mind. This was going so good so far, and I couldn’t wait to see if I finally fixed Chris! If not, at least he would regain his memories, which would already make a great advance!

“I… won my first competition… it was during junior year… in high school, master…” The swimmer said. His cock was full hard by now, but that wasn’t important. I was too excited to care about horniness.

“So, are you now able to access your old memories, Chris?” The coach gave me a weak nod “Good, I want you to hold on to them in your mind, and try your best to pull them to the front, moving them from your subconscious to your conscious mind, understood?”

He didn’t seem to, given the rather confusion expression he made, but he was going to do everything I ordered him. “Yes master…”

I closed my eyes and focused on his mind link, to help him out. I would have to see if everything worked correctly after this was over, but so far, he seemed to do well on his own.

A few minutes later, Chris suddenly sat up. Eyes wide open and looked around in surprise.

“Where the fuck… Uh… Sports club, yeah…” He seemed to answer to himself, before looking at me, sitting next to him in front of the pool. “Master! May I ask what happened? I seem to have forgotten about the last days, for some reason?”

My head was hurting. Fuck, not another overload, please not be an overload.

The sole thought of having overloads again… but it was probably just the effort I put in pushing Chris deeper into his subconscious, right?

This wasn’t the whole overloading my mind with mind links, just overusing one mind link… Ugh, this feels awful. I better get back home to rest.

But before I do that, I could totally finish explaining Chris what happened, and help him set back on track. That would probably not need any of my powers’ input at all.

“Don’t worry about it, okay? It’s better if you just pretend they were some normal rest days you’ve been taking, understood?” I put some power in my words, reassuring myself that verbal mind control wouldn’t make me go into a comma again.

I was jumping from happiness in the inside, but had to take care of him first.

“Sure thing, master” He mumbled, with a nice grin. I sighed, relieved. I could finally stop worrying about Leo having accidentally erasing someone’s personality.

I know how to bring them back (Unless Chris was a special case and not everyone stores their erased ‘mind’ in their subconscious. In that case, we would have a problem if this incident repeated itself).

He helped me get up, then stared at the pool. “Phew, water looks amazing. But I remember you wanted to teach me what I needed to do around here first, master!”

I looked at the pool. The water did look amazing, and I was tempted to jump right in and tell him to do a few laps together, but he was right, we had work to do. I also noticed he was still naked and full hard. His swimmer body looked really nice, and his cock wasn’t that bad either…

Wait, Piney. That’s your horny mind speaking, work comes first!

I sighed, I’ll have fun with the enslaved man some other time. For now, I had to be a good manager.

…For now.

-----

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