Tumgik
#its because of tae that jimin has moons going down his back
jmdbjk · 1 year
Text
I am going to be honest here.
There has been a lot of ... conflict ... on the blogs these last few days.
Tumblr media
Like most, when I saw the notif for the live, I turned it on and saw Tae.. at JK's... and dread filled me. Then Hobi was visible and that dread dissipated instantly. I watched the chaos and then it was over in a blink. But the dread came back because I know what happens: the scum crawls out of their corners to start their idiocy. That's the foundation of this dread that creeps in. I'm mostly a positive person but I react with my whole self when I detect the stench of that sort of rot.
I am calling myself out for allowing a toxic segment of the fandom to influence how I feel toward interactions between certain members. It is not the behavior of the members of BTS that is influencing this negativity in me, it is the actions of people who aggressively bully others in order to diminish the bonds between members that does it ... I am aware that it is a weakness of mine. I am far from perfect and I need to work harder at combating that.
Tumblr media
In like two minutes, JK came back and adorably (ADORABLY I SAY) folded his underwear and toe socks in front of us for another 12 minutes and then was gone. He had to pack for a trip, get a little rest and be up and running to the airport.
Still, after sleeping on it, I woke up irritated... ticked off... at Tae.
Not for the reasons that I see everyone blowing up over... I was ticked off because of Tae's irresponsibility... because was Hobi really ready to show us his haircut? Hobi, who knows what it all means to us? Hobi who had to say "this is what we all have to do." Hobi who had to come on IG and give us some pics of it after the fact?
I consoled myself with the thought that maybe he was ok with it and told Tae to go ahead ... maybe he thought this would be a good way to break it to us... who knows.
And I calmed down and am fine with it all after I saw the translations. Hobi is a grown man. He can handle it.
Tumblr media
I was also concerned that, what if there were things laying around that were visible that maybe Jungkook didn't want us to see? LIKE HIS UNDERWEAR HAHAHAHA! Seriously though, I don't know what, just stuff that would cause him to have to explain... YOU KNOW HOW WE ARE! WE PICK APART EVERYTHING!
Right away there he was the doing the laundry... HIS UNDERWEAR HAHAHAHA! In his 12-minute follow-up live, he eventually said "why am I showing you this side of me? Maybe this isn't something you need to see..."
Anyway.
I am glad Tae and Hobi spent some time with Jungkook. It is still so refreshing to see them being candid and spontaneous and I love knowing they see each other. WE NEVER KNOW ANYTHING UNLESS THEY SHOW US/TELL US!
Tae looking up at Hobi so lovingly and hugging him gave me a sharp pang in my chest. Tae literally going "oops, gotta go, car is here" and poof, turns off the live, is such a normal slice-of-life moment.
Tumblr media
JK just going about his business in his own space while his hyungs were there was also just a rare precious moment we NEVER get to see and I am thankful for it!
As for the things I've seen people saying...
If you want to bash me for not taking up sides, go ahead.
If you want to criticize me for not agreeing with your point of view, go ahead.
If you think I am being blind to a situation that YOU believe is happening, go ahead. I don't care.
Hating on one member is not going to diminish the hate another member receives because the hate is embedded in those bad actors BECAUSE THEY ARE LUNATICS WHO BELIEVE IN A FALLACY and adding more hate does not cancel it out. Think about that.
Army fandom is very segmented right now. It is understandable. We all have our faves and we individually move to the beat of that drum.
But do not frame EVERYTHING that happens between specific members to be about the relationship of said members. That is tunnel vision and not realistic whatsoever.
Tumblr media
Jimin and Jungkook are the two that I pay closest attention to so I cannot speak on what makes Tae do the things he does. What we see is just a fraction of what goes on. What we see (or do not see) on social media does not prove anything.
I love BTS as a group and I love each individual member. They each have their own personalities and they all love and support each other.
Bottomline: I am on Team Bangtan, what team are you on?
Tumblr media
Tumblr media
We don't know everything.
102 notes · View notes
kawaiiflowerharmony · 6 months
Text
Ahhh...my soft Jikook heart
Ok, this post is going to contain Jikook speak so if you don't agree? Move on and don't come at me. I say what's in my heart and won't apologise for it.
I have been a fan of BTS and no other KPOP group since 2018. I didn't even know they existed before then. (Weird, right?) Once I fell down the rabbit hole I made it my mission to watch all their RUN BTS episodes and got into In the Soop. During my binge watching I noted dynamics between the members, fell in love with the way Joon sometimes watched the other members like a proud dad, Jin became unhinged, Yoongi showed his love for them in his own gruff manner, Hobi faced his fears and overcame them (mostly), Jimin hugged everyone into a soft love puddle, Tae stole a piece of my heart with his straight-faced candor and humour, and Jungkook - well, JK and his speech in pout mingled with a stutter just did me in. Each of these men holds a piece of my heart and I happily give it to them.
But the chemistry between JK and Jimin both on stage and away made me sit up and take notice. There was just something...something different about the way they interacted that had my radar pinging. I had purposely stayed away from all Youtube videos about ships because I know how damaging those can be. And then I suddenly had another mission. I compared the interactions between Jimin and all the members and that of JK and the other members. And still, when these two were together (which was ALL the time) it still hit different. So, there I went and visited all the Jikook pages I could find on Youtube. And my heart became putty, all soft and squishy when I saw moments on stage and off stage that I didn't pick up previously. I lived for the moments when they got lost in each other and forgot the world existed. Not to mention the couple behaviours! It gave me hope that I will one day have just this kind of connection with my soulmate one day. The kind where a gaze makes me aware that my loved one needs my touch, where his touch makes me calm down. I sense great passion between them, also kinkiness. I sense the need to be close together as often as possible - it almost feels like it becomes uncomfortable when they don't connect in some way, whether physical or otherwise. Those clips of JK calming down when JM sat down next to him or touched him in some way made so much sense. There is a fire there that has not dimmed at all over the years. It's beautiful.
Then I got to thinking of all the times when JK has a connection to JM in his music videos during this solo of his. Whether its something he wears or something he does that bears eerie similarity to JM in his own, it rocks! Even the photo shoots, looking at the similarities just makes me giggle and kick my feet excitedly. And in his latest music video Standing next to you? I don't think I'm the only one that felt it was personal for him, although he said that he did not write lyrics for this album. THAT song, felt personal. Like he was saying everything to JM. Especially the first verse. I squealed the first time I heard it!
Anyway, just had to put my heart's thoughts down, going back to my happy place where JK is back hugging JM and JM clings like a limpet to JK. I wish I could adequately describe how much joy I feel in my heart and how much softness, when I see these two beautiful souls.
I know they have travelled many lifetimes to keep finding each other because they are two halves of one soul and complete each other.
Tumblr media
Sun and Moon, Black and White, Yin and Yang.
111 notes · View notes
jiminsass-istant · 2 months
Text
How i view all bts duos (crack filled)
(somehow gets crazier as you go down, also minors dni 🚫)
Warning: draft had been sitting for long/written in a sleep deprived state/forgot that tumblr has image limit/will get me cancelled if anyone takes this seriously/this is pure self-indulgence.
Jikook- "We live under each other's skin and there's nothing you can do about it"
Tumblr media
Taekook-" We are dude bros bound by shared love for jimin and gaming"
Tumblr media
Vmin- "we'll roleplay every AU possible so you have more prompts for ao3"
Tumblr media
Minimoni- "he's cute because he's small"+" he's cute because he's big"
Tumblr media
Sope- "He makes me wanna be a better man" + (unpopular opinion but sope would be a great sun and moon duo too)
Tumblr media
Yoonmin- "We mostly fight, but if you heard the most heart-clenching compliment slip in, pretend you never heard it."
Tumblr media
Jihope- "We are each other's light in the dark" (pink and purple lights to be specific)
Namkook- "He doesn't know i have his shrine at home" (jk pov)+" He doesn't know I've legally adopted him" (rm pov)
Taejin- "We are individually pretty hetero, but together we are pretty gay"
Tumblr media
Jinkook - "He's my brother, so I can beat the shit out of him, and I am the only one who can."
Jinmin - "Come here my precious, I'll laugh at all your jokes and cuddle you"
2seok- "We can single handedly bring about world peace just by basking in each other's presence"
Yoonjin- "You're older, so you'll have to baby me" (yoongi pov) + "You are only 3 months older, I can drop the honorifics "( also yoongi POV)
Taegi - "I'll smother you with love till you love me back" (Tae POV) + "That's enough!!! Ffs" *still holding hands* (yoongi POV) - <My 3rd fav ship, btw>
Namgi - "What happened in the studio that late night, stays in the studio" + "anyway, we've known each other for 13 years"(yoongi pov) +"hyung, can we talk about that night-" (rm) "DID I MENTION 13 YEARS??"(yoongi)
Yoonkook- Lovers in HYYH but died and reborn as father son duo in next life.
OR
"I would produce your entire album if sc00ter wasn't in the way"
OR
"He doesn't know I've legally adopted him" (because namgi legal husbands)
Namseok- "Our relationship is not for the cameras. You can probably tell by the way I BAWLED after jhope enlisted" (rm pov)
Namjin- "He lets me practice my pick up lines on him, if he gets a little flustered, it's not my faul- JIMIN STOP WITH THE SMOOCH SOUNDS"
Hopekook- Kangaroo(hobi) and the baby(jk) in its pouch
Taejoon- Fanboy turned boyfriend (tae)
Tumblr media
Vope- "Was the kiss good? Was my dance good? Have i been a good boy?"(tae pov) +"I raised him well (as my perfect sub)" (hobi pov)
Tumblr media
This is me btw, if you even care:
Tumblr media
28 notes · View notes
mrs-monaghan · 1 year
Note
Hello, i love your blog so freaking much! Its interesting to see that despite all the outing Tk have been giving Tkkrs recently, they still go feral when Jimin so much as breaths close to Jk! This actually got me thinking and i was like, why do they hate Jimin so much if they believe their ship is real? Why do they go crazy when Jimin just breathes close to Jk? Are they that insecure? What is it about Jimin that irks them so much? I actually really thought hard about this and then I realized what the issue is! I feel like deep down, most of these Tkkrs know or atleast suspect that they could be so wrong! They see exactly what we see in Jikook and that is why they get triggered! They know that there is no way in hell Jk would be in a relationship with Tae, yet does all the things he does for and with Jimin! They know that and that drives them crazy!! See how mad they were when Jk did that almost 2 hour Jimin centered Live! They almost blew their heads off because they know what that simple gesture meant! Alot of them keep insisting that Jk and Tae hate Jimin because they know that if they admit that vminkook are fine, then that automatically puts alot of question marks in their ship! They claim Jk cannot stand Jimin and only tolerates him because they work together, all this because they know that if they admit that Jk has no issue with Jimin, they won’t be able to explain why Jk does everything he does for Jimin without questioning their ship! The few Tkkrs who don’t hate Jimin, either insist Jikook is fanservice or Jimin is covering up for Taekook! They do not want to accept that Jk and Jimin actually have a good relationship with each other because accepting this fact, automatically cancels everything they want to believe in! Deep down they know that Jk adores Jimin, Jimin adores Jk and they love each other’s company! Deep down they see the possibility of Taekook being just friends but their pride will not let them admit they made an error jn judgement so they continue to force themselves and others to see and believe in things that are not there! That is why even though they get alot of Tk moments, they are always on the look out for the least thing Jikook do! The real reason Tkkrs hate Jimin is not because Jimin is coming in btwn Tkk, not because Jimin makes Jk uncomfortable, not because Jimin is a bad friend to Tae, not because Jimin is forcing himself on Jk, the real reason is because Jimin is the biggest threat to tkk being real! They wouldn’t attack Jimin so much if they honestly didn’t see anythinv between him and Jk! They see just as much as we do! They know just as much as we know, they just cannot get themselves to accept it!
I always say, denying something doesn’t make it any less real that it is! Denying Jikook is real, doesn’t make Jikook not real? Insisting Tkk is real, doesn’t make Tkk real! Hating on Jimin, won’t stop Jk for loving the heck outta him? Hating Jm won’t stop him from loving the hickeys out of Jk! This man has loved Jk for more than 10 freaking years! They have been through thick and thin together, they have loved each other, ignored each other, avoided each other, fought with each other, comforted each other, been there for each other, fucked the living day light out of each other, annoyed the shit out of each other, and they always found their way back to each other! Do u honestly think your hating will break a bond this strong? Some of you tkkrs must be high on cheap drugs if u think Jimin is letting Jk go without a fight! Didn’t we all see this man fight tooth and nail to win Jk’s love and affection? Didn’t we see him not give up till Jk was his? Didn’t we all hear him say he promised to go to the moon with Jk? Haven’t we all heard the members speak of how determined and persistent Jimin can get when he sets his sight on something? You think this same man who clearly and shamelessly told us of his huge love for Jk will let him go? Lol! Think again! We all saw Jk look at Jimin like he was the most beautiful thing the world ever knew! We all saw Jk get bold on so many occasions for Jimin! We all saw Jk do things for Jimin he never did for anyone else, we all heard Jk say if he likes something or someone he will fight for it! Yet you think Jk will let his Jiminshi go? We have Jk on Live acting a fool because he misses Jimin. He hangs out alot with Tae, yet there is a void only Jimin can feel and he isn’t afraid to say it or show it! And yet tkkrs think Tk is real? Well i don’t know about you guys but if my boyfriend went Live and continuously smiled, laughed and blushed while looking and talking about my bestfriend, for almost 2 hours, we would have some scores to settle!
Taekookers, Jimin isn’t and was never your problem! Your problem is you, who keeps insisting to see and believe in things which are not real just because u cannot get urself to admit YOU WERE/ARE WRONG!
Tumblr media
The cheap drugs part though 😂😂😂 Anon has laid it out perfectly i have nothing to add. I just wanna drop this ss of a tkkr who was so frustrated after JK's live.
Tumblr media
I hope they weren't pulled back in because they're definitely are onto something here 🤭🤭
58 notes · View notes
causesciencethatswhy · 3 months
Note
https://www.tumblr.com/causesciencethatswhy/739756690719801344/the-only-expectation-was-that-he-should-have?source=share
Um i disagree on the point that members don't know how deep this shipping or solo shit goes cause taehyung is pretty deep in fandom cause he posts arts from accounts, has showed jm the moon tatto thing, jk used tiktok and every sns in this fandom is dominated by tk shippers be it any. I can bet all my money that all the members have seen worst of their shipping stuff than this. Like i know for a fact that even jm knows about it too. They knows they just don't react cause it might make a big deal so they just let it be.
The comapny also don't care about shippers much cause these delulu tkkrs are the ones that are also giving them some millions of money so why would they when they're making money? They gave tkklives her account back. You have people in that company just to keep the sns safe for boys and make sure people who defame them get's punished but you have all these accounts with big following defaming boys in the name of shipping.
This will sound rude now but mark my words tkkrs are beyond repair now and in future it will be jk, tae and their respective partners that are gonna get the end of their hate. Their partners are gonna get all the unnecessary hate from these shippers and neither the members nor anyone else would be able to do anything about it mark my words. They should have stopped them when it was time but now it's too late and at the end it's taekook that's gonna pay for it.
You're creating a causation= correlation link where there isn't one necessarily. Tae can easily come across pretty jimin fanart or ai art, without being in the trenches of shipping or army spaces (especially with all the plethora of art reposter accounts there are) Jk having tiktok in no way guarantees that he's coming across egregious shippers when most accounts he engages with are either meme accounts or dancers. Just because they have a presence on the internet that we can't exactly track, doesn’t mean than we can take the assumption that all the boys are aware of how deeply messed up the shipping spaces run.
With respect to hybe taking action, I agree that they need to start taking these shippers antis more seriously, especially on the non Korean sides, because most of the claims those accounts make could very well amount to defamation but their lax approach tells me that they either don't see them as a threat or are unable to take much action against perpetrators outside of SK, which we know has been an issue before.
As for tae and jungkook shutting down shippers more, they already have anon?? "Get out of your imagination, it's not good in there ", are Taehyung's own words, but was that good enough for the shippers, no? They found a niche alternative translation to satisfy their delusions or just straight up pretend it didn’t happen. People often accuse tae of ramping up tkkrs esp in chap 2, but its just been moments of him sharing about his interactions with jk, how is it his responsibility if tkkrs have run with it to be terrible to jm/jennie? Saying that he's "feeding these shippers" by simply talking about jk sounds strangely reminiscent of what tkkrs used to say about jm a few years back, but whatever.
As for jk, he's shut down tkkrs many times last year itself, what with his weirded out look into the camera when asked whether he's living with tae and many more examples which I'm not that interested in listing out. But does any of that, stop tkkrs? No.
I agree that tkkrs are beyond repair and it might create serious problems for any partners tae or jk might introduce, but you cannot in good faith put the onus of responsibility on the both of them for the way their shippers act. Its too victim blamey for me. I will hold tae a little responsible for reposting that account without checking, just solely because he has a bigger platform than most, but I'm not going to accuse him of being some secret terrible person for the actual content on those blogs.
13 notes · View notes
taestefully-in-luv · 3 years
Text
The Island | KTH (Five)
Summary: You’re just two strangers waking up in a room on a lonely island where a company in the business of love has placed you. They believe that thanks to their in depth research you two are destined soulmates. What happens when your ‘soulmate’ and you want nothing to do with each other but falling in love is the only way to leave?
Pairing: Taehyung x Female reader
Genre: strangers to lovers, very slight enemies to lovers, soulmates au, roommate au, slow burn, fluff, smut, angst, slight crack, and drama.
Word Count: 10.2k
Warnings: swearing, sexual tension (?) panic attack, miscommunication, fingering ( female receiving)
Notes: here’s ch5! Hope you guys like this chapter. Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist, or send an ask if just want to chat about the stories!:)
Taglist: @ggukkieland @monvieesdaebak @707sblog @peacedreamer14 @dopedreamfireparty @everythingnamjoon @taebae19 @typicalgenzworld @mooniyooni @getmemyfries @helenazbmrskai @justinetingball @jpeachytaev @marplest @calling-dips-on-j-hope
© taestefully-in-luv
Previous --- Next
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The silky robe is a deep burgundy and it looks divine draped over your skin…Taehyung watches as you stand between his spread legs and the silky material begins to slowly slip off your shoulders. He can’t help but gulp when the robe falls down your arms and your matching lingerie set is finally exposed. The material that covers your breasts is lace, he can see your hardening buds and he sighs out in satisfaction… the rest of the lingerie top is sheer and flowy. He only observes as the robe finally falls to the floor and you step closer to him, bending down giving him the most immaculate view of your cleavage…god, he can’t wait to have your tits in his large hands. He is a man of self-control though. He just wants to watch you for a while before he even touches you, which ultimately drives you crazy.
You finally begin to crawl into his lap, settling over his bulge. He leans away from you, his head hitting the cushion of the sofa when you continue to bend forward until your lips are on his neck. Taehyung smirks and releases breath after breath when he feels your tongue run up his throat.
“Taehyung…” you whisper, “Taehyung, what are you thinking about?”
“Taehyung what are you thinking about? Hello?”
“Taehyung? Earth to Tae?” You continue to wave your hand in front of his face. You both are sitting on the living room couch watching a Disney movie when Taehyung obviously stopped paying attention. The boy is completely zoned out.
“Tae?”
“Huh? What?” his eyes zone back in and he’s whipping his head in your direction. “What?”
“I asked what you were thinking about, you really zoned out there.” You giggle. Taehyung’s eyes skim over your body, you’re wearing a t shirt and some shorts…definitely not the lingerie set he was just imagining you in. Yet somehow you still look sexy and it’s driving him nuts.
“Oh nothing.” Taehyung grins, feeling himself grow warmer at the memory of his imagination.
“Movie night is boring you, huh?” you steal the blanket from Taehyung’s lap and wrap it around yourself. “We can play a game instead? Or maybe, hear me out, just maybe, you can show me that song you’ve been working on.” You eye him, waiting for his reaction.
“It’s not ready.” Taehyung pouts, “I promise I’ll show you when it’s ready. I’m just stuck.”
“Maybe I could help? You never know.”
“y/n…” he whines, “Just wait.” Then he’s scooting a little closer to you, “Patience isn’t really something you’re good at, huh?” he teases then his voice goes lower, “I’ll have to teach you.”
“Fine, fine. I can be patient.” You roll your eyes at him, you unwrap the blanket from yourself and put it out in front of you, offering to share with your roommate.
Taehyung accepts the invitation by inching closer to you and going under the blanket, his body heat sticking to your skin.
“Want to go for a walk?” Taehyung asks, snuggling further into the blanket.
“A walk? It’s so dark out?”
“I bet the moon looks nice over the ocean.” Taehyung points out softly, “I bet it feels nice and cool.”
“Hmm, okay.”
~
Taehyung was right, the moon looks absolutely hypnotizing over the water. You two are sat in the sand near the shore and you can feel the mist of cool water greet you as the waves come in. It feels amazing.
“Can you believe it’s been a little over 6 months?” you sigh, “Time is flying by.”
“You don’t sound as bitter as you usually would.” Taehyung playfully bumps his knee into yours. “You like my company that much?” he teases.
But you tense at his words…he isn’t that far off and you know that’s dangerous, almost as dangerous as him.
“I’m tired of being so bitter.” You admit, “Doesn’t mean I love this situation. I want to return to the real world…I have a lot of things to take care of. I can’t use the island as an excuse anymore.”
“What do you mean?”
“My life is a mess, Tae. This island was like a break from that…I know that sounds crazy—”
“No, I get it.” Taehyung says softly. “I get it.”
“But can you believe we are still here? I mean, we flirt but I don’t know if it’s getting us anywhere.” You whisper. “And are they really taking us seriously?”
“What’s that mean?” Taehyung raises his brows, “Take us seriously?”
“We don’t view each other that way.” You say as quietly as you can, making Taehyung’s heart race. “We never will.”
“Oh.” Taehyung drops his head low, “Right.” Then he raises his head. “So are you saying you would never view me in any way besides a friend?”
“Obviously.” You chuckle, “That’s what we agreed on.”
Taehyung let’s your words marinate for a second…you’re right you two agreed to get along and nothing more. But things change? Taehyung is the type to realize things pretty quickly and go for it. He’s questioning a lot right now. Is he just super fucking attracted to you? Or does his feelings run deeper than that. And he just got his answer.
The fact that you say you would never view him that way has him feeling down, like a major state of depression is coming, like a large storm cloud is making its way over his body.
He wants you to change your mind. He wants you to like him. Why? Isn’t it obvious? He likes you.
“I guess.” He finally says after a long while, he doesn’t know what else to say honestly. He knows you aren’t anywhere near ready to hear his feelings and honestly he isn’t ready to say them out loud yet either. He knows he isn’t technically dating Hana but he still feels like he’s doing something wrong…like he’s cheating or just straight up betraying.
“Let’s walk.” He says standing to his feet, he leans down to help you up by the arm.
“Okie.”
You two begin walking down a path underneath the starry sky, his hand keeps bumping into yours as he talks and you grow nervous at the small contact. You can handle it, or so you think but when his skin touches your skin you feel a bolt of electricity fly down to your lower belly.
“And Jimin is my favorite.” He chuckles, “I mean, don’t get me wrong…I love all the guys but Jimin and I go way back. He can read me like his favorite book and vise versa.”
“That’s awesome. I wish I could meet them.” You admit shyly and Taehyung smiles down at you.
“You can!” he grins, “When we get out of here, I’ll fly you to Korea so you can visit me and you’ll meet the guys. Trust me, they’ll love you.”
You nod your head blushing like a middle school girl who just confessed a crush, you can’t help how rosy your cheeks get.
“You really think you’ll want to see me after this? Aren’t you tired of me yet?” you joke.
“Why? Are you tired of me?” Taehyung’s voice dips down an octave. “You can be honest.”
“No, Tae. I’m not tired of you….yet.” You bump your shoulder into his side and he chuckles.
“Good. Because…” Taehyung pauses, not entirely sure of what he was going to say. “Because…” he begins again. “I think I’m just getting used to you.”
“Only now?” you half joke, teasing him. “We—”
“I just mean,” Taehyung clears his throat, cutting you off. “I think I mean like I’m used to you in a way that I look forward to spending everyday with you.”
Oh. Oh. You stop walking abruptly making Taehyung stop as well, he blinks at you in confusion like ‘why the hell did you stop so suddenly?’.
“You look forward to spending time with me?” you swallow down your spit as you try to speak. “That’s…really sweet of you.” You admit.
Taehyung walks to you and stops just when his toes hit yours, “I can be very sweet.” He whispers to you. “I can show you.” Then he’s taking your hand in his and intertwining your fingers, you only stare up at him confused by his action.
“For the cameras?” you ask as quietly as possibly.
“Not everything is for the cameras y/n. When are you going to get that through your pretty head?”
~~~~~~~~
Lately, Taehyung is confusing the hell out of you. He’s doing things he wouldn’t normally do, you think. You can understand flirting for the camera but why is he doing shit even when the cameras aren’t around? It’s not like you hate it…no, it’s not that. You hate to admit it but you fucking like it. A lot. The way he leans into you, the way his hands grip at your waist, the way his touch absolutely melts you. But it’s dangerous. You can’t get attached to him. He’s the first real friend you have in so many months…and that makes you feel pathetic. Poor guy is forced to be friends with you, flirt with you and so on.
You can feel the anxiety start to build…you hate this. You hate how easy it is for you to break, for you to crumble. It’s one of those days, right? You’ve barely made much of an appearance downstairs and you know that worries Taehyung. But today is just one of those days. The heartbreak of your real life seeps into the joyous façade of your island life. Fuck, you hate this. You hate how messy everything is and how nothing feels right or feels real.
It feels like your old life is becoming more and more out of reach, like you run after it, extending your hand out but it’s too far away from your grasp and that has you feeling helpless.
And that overwhelming dread suffocates you. Its hand wraps tightly around your throat, threatening to cut off your air supply. You’re sat up in your bed, your knees pulled into your chest as you try your hardest to level out your breathing, but it’s no use. No fucking use. The dread is too strong, its fingers leaving bruises around your neck.
“Breathe…breathe.” You repeat the words over like a mantra but your throat burns as tears threaten to pool your eyes so you keep them screwed shut.
Suddenly, you hear soft knocks on your bedroom door. Your head snaps upward. Shit.
“Y-Yeah?” You manage to choke out.
“Can I come in?” Taehyung’s voice is muffled on the other side of the door, his voice laced in concern.
“Uh…” you try to calm yourself down so you can respond properly.
“C-Can you just come by later?” You weakly suggest.
There’s a few beats of silence, you start to think he’s given up on you and left when you hear his soft voice once again,
“I have strawberries.”
You feel the pounding of your anxious heart relax just the tiniest. He brought me strawberries…of course he did.
“Umm sure, come in.”
Taehyung slowly creaks the door open, exposing himself.
He walks to the side of the bed, approaching you carefully, one hand carrying a bowl while the other carries a can of whipped cream.
“Snack?” He shakes the can in offering.
You try to smile, you really want to at least. But you feel your chest growing heavier and tighter, your breathing once again becoming uneven. Images of your family and your friends—the ones who didn’t totally shun you—come to mind and you just can’t take it anymore. Everything is too much. Tears well deep inside and before you realize it, tears are racing down your cheeks. You look up at Taehyung, without say anything you are begging him to comfort you. You weakly smile.
“Its…hard.” You admit between choked sobs. It so fucking hard. You miss your old life—believe it not—and the life you have now…is just playing pretend. Everything’s just too much for you right now.
Taehyung seems…surprised. He looks like he’s being torn apart.
“Woah, woah.” He rushes to set the bowl and can down on the nightstand.
“Hey, shh shh.” Taehyung sits on the edge of the bed, facing you. He reaches for your shoulder and begins rubbing it soothingly. “It’s okay, I’m here.”
You cry even harder at that. You reach your hand towards your shoulder and grab his, holding it tightly. You try your best to calm down, his touch relieving some of your pain.
“That’s it… In and out…good.” He continues rubbing your shoulder, even with your hand attached to his. He then releases your hand and finds his way into your hair, massaging your scalp, slowly and tenderly. A long sigh escapes you.
“I…I’m sorry for this…” You take a deep breath, “I just miss them so much.” You laugh pitifully, your head falling into your hands. “I know it’s pathetic.”
“No!” Taehyung’s stern voice startles you. “Don’t you say that. It’s understandable y/n…if anyone understands you, it’s me, right?” He reaches for your hand. “And I think you’ve been amazing, it’s okay to break down every once in a while.”
You manage to nod your head, as you stare down at your connecting hands.
“I know I can’t make up for the people we’ve been ripped from…”
“Don’t do that.” you say, squeezing his hand. “Don’t compare yourself with people from my old life.”
“I…sorry.” He breathes out, squeezing your hand back.
The two of you let long moments of silence pass between you, they are comfortable moments though. Just feeling his hand in yours is enough to make you breathe easy again.
“We have each other.” He says out of nowhere. He gazes into your swollen eyes and he can’t believe he didn’t notice before…he always thought your eyes were dark, plain, boring but he sees how gorgeous and deep they are. They look like the setting sun, they look like they could hold stars, they look mesmerizing.
“Yeah, we do.” You try to smile. “Will you…will you stay with me tonight?” Your voice is small and timid. Taehyung is surprised to say the least, that you would request such a thing but he’s softening his features and smiles for you.
“Yeah, of course.” Taehyung breathes out. He rises from the bed and walks to the other side, he makes his way to the spot he is supposed to occupy.
“This is okay, right?” he asks, making sure.
You can’t help but swallow hard as you answer. “Yes.”
Taehyung slips into the bed, sliding underneath the sheets…yours are way softer than his, he thinks. He lays on his side, facing you.
“I miss my sister.” You whisper. “She could be so annoying and over protective but,” you pause, trying not to cry again, “But I do miss her.” You laugh as Taehyung stays silent.
“My-my mom’s cooking, it’s the best. We may not always get along and we kind of fight a lot…but her way of apologizing or making sure I am okay is by cooking me some amazing meal.” You turn to your side as well, your back facing him. You’re too embarrassed to look at him.
“My dad…he always comforts me…he always has my back when I fight with my mom…” you chuckle and then you feel Taehyung’s hand on your back. He begins tracing circles on the fabric of your shirt.
“You know I use to go to this coffee place almost every single day. I miss it. That routine. It’s called Cozy Coffee…a small, family owned shop. Only one of its kind. I would read, write, journal. Just relax. Every day.” You breathe out, missing your comfort spot.
“My friend Layla…who isn’t really my friend anymore…she used to give the best advice. She would probably know exactly what to say to help me get through this situation.” You say a little bitterly. Taehyung feels his heart start to ache as he listens to you.
“You have me to get through this.” Taehyung whispers.
“I know I have you, Tae.” You move from your side to your back. “It’s crazy…I’ve only known you for 6 months but I…” you pause, hating yourself for admitting this. “I feel so close to you.” You quietly admit. “Can I ask you something?” you don’t wait for him to respond as you begin speaking again. “You think if we had met organically…we would get along?” you swallow hard before continuing, “Or are we only getting along because we like, have to? Because face it, you have no one else to talk to and—”
“y/n.” his tone is firm. “Don’t.” he warns. “Don’t think of it that way.”
“Just because you say that doesn’t mean I won’t.” you snap, surprising him.
“We will still talk after we get out of here…we will visit, we will make this work…” Taehyung tries but you scoff.
“If that’s even possible.”
“What do you mean?”
“We live so far from each other. And sure, we have texts and video chats but what about the time difference? Huh? This isn’t going to work afterwards. I’m already…” you take in a shaky breath, “I’m already getting so attached to you.” you then release that same shaky breath. “It’s going to hurt like a bitch when I don’t hear from you months at a time…” you shake your head, “and that’s okay! Because you’re just living life.” You clear your throat, he can tell you’re on the verge of crying. Fuck, what does he do?
“I’m sorry.” You wipe your face with your hands, “This convo took a turn, I’m sorry.”
Taehyung feels his heart aching still, it hurts. He hurts because you’re hurt. He just wants you to feel better.
“C’mere you baby.” He says while tugging on your arm towards his body…you barely even think about it as you scooch closer to him and you let him hold you in his arms for a short hug. You pull away just as quickly as you get comfortable in bed again.
“Get some sleep y/n. You’ll feel better in the morning, I promise.”
~
The A.C is kept rather low, and the buzz of the spinning fan keeps things cool…so, Taehyung’s arms wrapped around you is more than welcome. WAIT. Your eyes shoot open now, realizing your position. Your back is facing him, and your-your butt is shoved into his crotch. If the word ‘shoved’ was too aggressive you apologize but shit is true. Your ass is shoved deep into his crotch, you mean, you can feel everything. It’s an awkward position to say the least…you mean, or is it?
You glance around the room, your eyes fluttering all the way open. It’s now just hitting you that you two really slept in this room together.
His limbs are heavy, slung over your smaller body. His body is acting like your own personal heater, it’s pretty nice, not gonna lie. And his scent—don’t get started on his scent. His breathing is calm, each fan of his breath tickling your skin. Should you try to escape his hold? Or just let it be? Is it weird if you intentionally stay? Your mind is starting to race with a thousand questions, your overthinking getting the best of you. You lay still while your mind drowns in thoughts of Taehyung. Suddenly, you feel Taehyung stir behind you, so you immediately slam your eyes shut in panic, pretending to be asleep.
You can feel Taehyung sit up, just the slightest , one arm still under your head. But then Taehyung slips down further into the sheets once more, his body moving even closer to yours. His arms engulf you into a tight back hug, you can feel his face nuzzling the back of your neck. And the worst part is you feel him inhale you, snuggling impossibly closer. This makes you tense and melt at the same fucking time. He just nuzzled and inhaled you like you were what? He fucking safe space? You feel pulled into him, drawn to him. So you sleepily turn over in his arms, you wrap an arm around him while keeping your other arm safely tucked into your chest. You open your eyes to take a look at Taehyung’s sleeping face when you are met with two wide eyes. He looks…shocked at first but then the corners of his lips turn upwards. He gently squeezes your body into his and slowly closes his eyes again.
How can he sleep again?! Your mind is racing, your heart is racing, your body is racing even if you are frozen. Your nerves are very present, you feel your stomach turn, you feel butterflies flying, you feel restless. But Taehyung? He is absolutely fine. And that makes your body feel an ache you wish it didn’t.
~~~~
“Uh, can I help you?” You wait impatiently for an answer…you were just falling asleep!
“Sleepover.” Taehyung says nonchalantly while pushing past you, entering your bedroom.
“Um, sleepover?”
“I can’t sleep. I want to cuddle. Very innocent stuff.” Taehyung says as he pulls back the covers on your bed.
“Tae…” you hesitate to close the door, “What do you think you are doing?”
Ever since your little panic attack and your little sleepover with Taehyung, he has gotten used to the idea of snuggling closer to you even on places like the couch. And now tonight, he is here in your room requesting to sleep with you. You go red just at the thought.
“Don’t be a brat, y/n.” he says slipping into the bed and patting the spot next to him, “Now come over here.” He grins at you and you flush.
“Fine…” you can’t say you hate the idea…after getting a taste of cuddling once you have been yearning for his touch…just a little. You turn off the lights and step over towards the bed, sliding inside and snuggling in the blanket.
“No, come here.” He softly commands, “Lay on my chest…ah, wait.” He stops you from moving. “Do you mind if I sleep with my shirt off?”
“Nothing I haven’t seen before so sure.” You mumble. Taehyung winks at you before he’s lifting his shirt over his head, sliding back down into the bed. “Now come.”
Taehyung slips an arm underneath your head as you lay down on his bare chest…you won’t lie…his warm skin on your cheek has you melting.
“So you think you and Hana would be a couple by now?” you decide to ask but you cringe at your own question. Why the hell did you bring up Hana? Taehyung’s face falls into a frown.
“Probably...maybe…I don’t know.”
“I’m sorry…”
“Why are you saying sorry, it’s not like it’s your fault.”
“Somehow it feels like it is.” You admit, you lean a little closer to Taehyung, your body feeling heavier and heavier.
“It’s not…” he wraps his other hand around your waist, “I don’t regret meeting you y/n.”
“Do you mean that?”
You lean away from him and scoff, “Your life could be perfect right now but I’m ruining it.”
“Hey, don’t do that.” Taehyung warns, “It’s not you—”
“It is me! This company paired you with me! A complete and total stranger!” you whisper, “You’re stuck here with me, Taehyung. You’re forced to be what, friends with me?”
“No one’s forcing me to do anything. I genuinely enjoy spending time with you…” Taehyung tries to explain, he’s becoming really confused. Where is this all coming from?
“y/n…”
“What?” you snap and he flinches, “sorry…what is it?” you ask more softly.
“I could say the same about me, that I’m ruining your life too—”
“My life is already a mess before you.”
“We’re friends y/n. When we get out of here I will find you on twitter or what—”
“I don’t have social media.” You say.
“Fine, we will eventually exchange numbers. You get the point, we’re friends. Real friends.”
“Sorry I’m just overwhelmed…” you finally admit, “We’ve been here over six month Taehyung…why are we still here? How hasn’t anyone found us yet? Aren’t they looking for us?”
“I’m sure people are trying.”
“I don’t hate being with you.” You say, “But I want to go home.” You begin to sniffle and Taehyung panics. He tightens his hold on you, he wishes he could bring you in even closer.
“I know. Me too.” He admits, hugging you tight. “But at least we got each other, right?”
Taehyung is the closest thing you’ve had to a friend in months…you don’t want to get this attached to him. When you guys get sent home…he’s going back to Korea and you back to your home and he will move on with his life and you won’t have him anymore.
“Sure.” You reply weakly, “Sure.”
“Let’s not talk about this anymore.” Taehyung whispers.
“What should we talk about then? Or should we just go to sleep?”
“No, I want to chat.” He chuckles. “Why do you seem nervous around me sometimes?” he decides to ask, his hand loosening around your waist.
“Me? Nervous? You’re just imagining that.” You breathe out, “and if I have been it’s not like you have never been nervous around me…right?”
“Who says I haven’t?” His chuckles come out dark and low. “I think I make you nervous.”
His hand slides down until he grips at your thigh before he’s letting go and gliding his fingers across your thigh and up to your hip. Your bare legs feeling the electric touch of his fingers. You suck in a long breath at the contact.
“W-Why would you make me nervous?” your eyes flutter shut and you bite down on your bottom lip as he continues to stroke your thigh. Your breathing picking up unknowing to you, your chest rising and falling faster than before.
“Your body tells me I do.” He says slowly, his voice deep.
Your quick breaths fan across his chest…he obviously knows you are getting affected.
“What does that mean?” you sigh but Taehyung doesn’t answer he just continues his ministrations on your skin. The way your shorts ride up gives him access to your thighs and hip. He lightly strokes you over and over, making you lose some of your composure. It’s been so long since you’ve been touched. And Taehyung knows this. He knows he should probably stop…but your skin feels so warm, so soft. His fingers skid across your upper thigh again and he notices how you exhale deep long breaths at his touch, how you close your eyes, how you bite your lip.
“If I don’t make you feel nervous,” he begins, his light touch never stopping, “then what do I make you feel?”
“Good.” You breathe out, “You make me feel good.”
Taehyung raises his brows in amusement, clearly liking your admission.
“You don’t know how good I can make you feel y/n.” Taehyung’s voice goes low, it makes the goosebumps on your skin rise.
“Taehyung…” You open your eyes again and find his, his gaze is so dangerous you could honestly feel the torture of it forever.
His hand travels lower to caress your calf, then he’s sliding it back up again this time closer to the inner part of your thigh. Without thinking you slightly spread your legs apart, letting his fingers play with your more sensitive skin.
His touch is sending heat waves throughout your body and God, you are melting at his burning hot touch. You start to dance your hips around, too turned on to actually feel embarrassed.
“Jeez…you’re really getting worked up.” Taehyung darkly chuckles. He stares down at you with dark, intense eyes. He knows exactly what he’s doing to you.
“S-Shut up.” You breathe out. “We probably…we probably shouldn’t do this…” you say, your voice strained.
Taehyung only smirks. “Do what? What exactly is it do you think we are going to do?”
His fingers slide closer and closer to the place that he shouldn’t. Your inner thigh is dangerous enough…but he lightly strokes you closer anyway. He knows exactly what he is doing.
“Do you think I’m going to make you come?” he teases. You hate how deep his voice gets when he talks to you like this—not that he’s ever said anything this bold.
“Lay on your back for me.” You nod your head until realization hits you.
“WAIT WHAT?” you sit up. “I am not going to like, have sex with you! Plus how can you even be sure I would come during sex?” You cock a brow, “You are a real cocky bastard, you know that?” Taehyung rolls his eyes all the way to the back of his head.
“We aren’t having sex.” He assures you. Oh. A little tiny voice in your head is asking why not. “And I definitely could make you come during sex. Jeez y/n, what type of incompetent guys have you been with?” Taehyung smirks, sitting up as well.
“T-Then how would you make me come?” You ask, suddenly feeling shy under his intense gaze. The gaze that drives you fucking nuts.
“With my fingers?” He shrugs.
“Aren’t you afraid this will ruin our friendship?” you pull at the ends of your hair, you know, a bad fucking habit.
“Not at all.” He says with total nonchalance. Jesus this guy is something else.
His features soften as he stares down at you, “Just let me take care of you.” He says.
You need to say no. This crosses way too many lines. But you can’t. You won’t. You figure you can just forget about it because that’s your only choice since you are already nodding your head in agreement.
“Then relax for me.” Taehyung uses his hand to softly push you down by the shoulder. “Please.” He licks his lips watching you ease yourself back on to the bed. You never break eye contact with Taehyung as your chest heaves again. How does he affect you this quickly? You are full of nerves, no shit, but you are so turned on by Taehyung’s low voice and sharp gaze that you nod your head, going along with his words.
“Good.” He says and you let out a long, harsh breath in response. Almost a moan.
“Taehyung…” your voice comes out more breathy than you intend and you immediately blush. You can feel his erection struggling in the confines of his sweats, poking the side of your thigh, you hope you calling out his name is making him suffer even more. Taehyung hasn’t made another move yet, just staring at you like he’s never seen you before.
“Please…” You reach for his hand and set it between your inner thighs. Wow, when were you this bold? He immediately smirks.
“Patience, baby.” The pet name has you rolling your eyes and not in a sassy way. Your lips part and your eyes are half lidded, you are a goner. And from what? This barely counts as foreplay! You are just so deprived of sexual attention. Taehyung watches you and you feel him rut against your thigh, God he feels so big.
“Sorry,” he says weakly, his own breaths sharp.
He takes a moment to compose himself, but to be honest you wish he wouldn’t. Taehyung lets out a long breath becoming even more serious, if that is possible. His hand is already dipped between your thighs and you are sure he can feel how desperate you are by the way you squirm. Even though he hasn’t even touched you. But you ache for his touch, it honestly hurts.
Finally, he cups you in his large hand. “So warm.” He says lowly. He wastes no time, using his fingers to move your shorts and panties to the side and swirls two fingers over your aching clit. You are dripping in arousal, his fingers getting coated in your juices within seconds.
“Did I make you this wet? Just by barely touching you?” He sounds genuinely surprised. Taehyung continues to glide his fingers between your folds.
You try to stay quiet, not trusting your voice at this point. It’s been so long since you’ve been touched that the feeling of his fingers, his long, beautiful fingers has you struggling to keep quiet. But you choke out when Taehyung slips a long finger inside you, pumping in and out very slowly. You whine at the sudden contact.
“I asked you a question.”
He enters another long finger into your greedy cunt. You want more of him. You are starting to think his fingers aren’t enough, but that’s your horny haze talking. His fingers begin thrusting into you, twisting his fingers in a way that has your body rutting against him. You can’t help the long dragged out moan that escapes your parted lips. Maybe they are enough, holy shit.
“Who made you this wet?” he asks almost like he genuinely wants to know like it’s not obvious.
Taehyung inserts another finger. Fuck. You moan over and over, loving how he explores you.
“Huh, baby?” he questions while you squeeze your eyes shut, while your mouth hangs open.
“I need you to use your words.” His fingers come to a sudden stop, he pulls them away from you. You gasp at the loss of contact. How un-fucking-fair. Your eyes shoot open, looking at him with eyes on fire.
“Y-You!” You finally choke out, “You made me this wet! Please Taehyung, please don’t stop.” You are a whining, withering mess. Taehyung just watches you, a dark smile appearing on his face.
“So greedy.” He says, his wicked grin taking over his face. “So fucking greedy.”
And before you know it, his fingers are back inside you but this time moving at a greater force than before, leaving you fucking breathless. His long fingers are reaching places so much deeper than you ever could.
“There…there. Don’t stop.” You pant.
The slick sounds of his fingers pushing into your body is delicious and disgusting. Between your moans and his harsh breaths and the sound of his fingers inside your body…it’s music to your ears.
“Need…need more…” you pant, your hand coming to your mouth.
“More? I got you babe.” His fingers leave your core, leaving you frustrated. How was this more? But then suddenly those same fingers are on your clit, your most sensitive bundle of nerves.
“Gonna—gonna make you feel so good…” You glance Taehyung’s way to see him with his gaze directed towards you already, his dark eyes somehow even darker.
You bite back a moan, your hand still covering your mouth.
“Let me hear you. Don’t cover your beautiful sounds.”
His fingers rub your aching clit even faster, harder, added pressure that is making you see stars and you aren’t even coming yet.
“So close Tae, I’m so…so”
“Yeah baby? Wanna come?”
“Yes yes yes” the coil twists tighter between your legs, already ready to snap. Taehyung repeats his motions, pulling you closer and closer to the edge. Taehyung watches with parted, panting lips as you lose all composure.
“Fuck, y/n.” Taehyung grunts under his breath, his voice taking you to the end.
Your body is twisting and turning, your hair is stuck to your forehead as the sweat builds up. Your eyes are slammed shut and your lips are apart releasing moan after moan. His other hand is at your core as well, two fingers entering you.
“Come all over my fingers, y/n. Let go baby, let go.”
Taehyung’s words has your vision going white, your entire body goes tense and then you are letting go. Cumming all over Taehyung’s fingers as his pumps slow and you begin to come down from your high. Your hand reaches up and grips his left arm, you whine at the feel of his muscles underneath your touch—only further turning you on. You clench your thighs together, bucking your hips into his slowing hand. Finally, you grind against his hand one last time, letting out all your last moans.
“You did so good.” Taehyung teases, his fingers leaving your body.
“Shut up.” Your breaths are heavy but you smile. Taehyung’s breathing isn’t much better. What do you do now? Say thank you?
“I’ll wash up and bring you a towel.” Taehyung informs you, breathing out roughly. He is painfully hard, you could feel him rutting against you the entire time he fingered you. Probably why you came so fast, honestly.
You hear Taehyung in the bathroom washing his hands. The sound of the running water giving you time to think. Sooooo what the fuck just happened? Did you just let your friend, your roommate, your fellow victim…finger bang you? Finger bang…what are you, 14? Either way, what the fuck? This is a lot to take it…you didn’t hate it. What do you do with that thought? No guy has ever made you come that fast and just from his fingers? Dear Lord, dear sweet baby Jesus. This is obviously because you haven’t come in so long…you mean, you’ve touched yourself, don’t get it wrong but it only ended in frustration. But tonight…you met a different fate. A fate that was in the hands of your friend. Your fucking friend. All the sudden tears prick your eyes—you’re just friends. You quickly pat your eyes dry with your T-shirt and shake your head to rid yourself of these thoughts. Why are you disappointed you’re just friends?
Before you know it Taehyung is back in the room, he’s holding a towel in his hand. He walks to your side of the bed and crawls on top…he looks hesitant. He almost looks afraid of you.
You reach for the towel, its warm and damp.
“No, I’ll do it.” Taehyung smiles softly, his eyebrows creasing as he does so.
He takes the damp towelette and begins cleaning up. You hiss at the contact, you are still incredibly sensitive. He only takes a few seconds to clean up the mess you two made before he’s pulling back.
“Thanks…” you mumble. Him cleaning you up was oddly intimate. Maybe it’s not that odd how intimate it felt actually. Because you know what? It was fucking intimate! This whole fiasco was intimate as hell! And it’s all your fault.
Taehyung sits on his knees, awkwardly might you add. You don’t know what to do with the towelette so you just throw it behind him. He looks at you with slight disgust before he’s smiling.
“Really?” he gives you a pointed look.
“What? I’ll throw it in the dirty clothes basket in the morning.” you smile back, then you become shy. Yes, fucking shy. Like you weren’t just a moaning mess for him minutes prior. You don’t know what to do with yourself. What do you say? What do you do? A sigh of relief is pushing past your lips when you realize Taehyung probably feels the same. He is looking at you like you might break. Suddenly you don’t feel relief, you feel guilt. This is your fault, you did this. You allowed this. What does he think of you now? You don’t just usually let your friends finger bang you—uh, you really need to stop saying it like that—this is bad.
“Aren’t you going to lay down?” You gesture to his side of the bed real awkwardly.
“Yup.” He then rolls his entire body over yours, like his weight wouldn’t crush you, landing in his previous spot on the bed. He sinks down into the sheets, leaving like a foot of space between you both. He is literally on the edge of his side of the bed. Shit. You did this. Now you’re fucking awkward.
“So.”
“So…”
Taehyung isn’t one to get weird after a sexual encounters but this is you we’re talking about, the girl he is stuck on an island with, the girl who is apparently his best match, the girl he definitely wants to fuck and last but not least, the girl he has real romantic feelings for.
He had the fanfuckingtastic idea of fucking you with his fingers…yeah, real smart on his part. He feels himself fill with pride that he was the first and only to make you come since you’ve been here.
He knows you two need to talk. What could this mean? He knows you enjoyed yourself…he knows you loved every moment his fingers were inside you. He is well aware of that fact. Your moans and cries of pleasure are indication enough.
He needs to talk to you though, he needs to hear how you feel. He wants you. He wants you so fucking bad. Taehyung smiles because he has a feeling this will turn out alright.
“So about what just happ—”
“Thanks for that,” you’re quick to cut him off, “but can we pretend that never happened?” you laugh, humorless.
Oh.
“Okay.”
~~~~~
It’s been a week. A fucking week. And you have hardly even looked at Taehyung much less spoke to him. It’s kind of hard to ignore the one person you live with but he guesses in such a big house he’s able to stay out of your way. Because that’s what you want, right? He thinks that’s what you want. You’ve been spending an awful amount of time in your bedroom and your dance studio and not a whole lot of time in the common areas. So basically fuck Taehyung, right? At least that’s what he’s thinking.
You…you regret it, right? Letting things escalate? You want to forget all about your little sleepover—like it never happened. And he has no one to blame but himself. But he couldn’t contain himself…touching you felt so good, felt so right. And the way you reacted from his simple touches…you want him, don’t you? At least that’s what he thought. He knows this is his fault. And he wants to take responsibility, as a man, as a decent human being…but he doesn’t know how to talk to you. When you two do pass each other, you either look at him with a tense, tight lipped smile or you don’t even acknowledge him at all. Both fucking hurt him. He feels like if this was the real world this is where you ghost him and he hates people who ghost.
Taehyung is just lying in bed, chest being crushed by a massive fat man as he wishes you would just talk to him. At this point that’s kind of all he wants. He has to accept this fact...this is an unrequited love, isn’t it? He groans in frustration, a heavy hand dragging down his face.
“y/n…” He whispers your name like a secret. It escapes past his lips without him really realizing. Why did the company set him up with a girl who will never feel the same? The thought rings in his head. The more he thinks about it the more he hates the company. He fists his hands in the sheets beneath him until his knuckles turn white. This fucking company is the one to blame for everything. He could be home, he could be making music, hanging with his friends and maybe even have Hana to call his. But no, he’s here. With the most amazing person he has ever met and it’s all one sided.
Would he change things? Wish he never came here? He honestly doesn’t know. But he can’t change things so why even ask that stupid question. Does he really wish he was back home and maybe be with Hana? But Hana didn’t do this to him. Didn’t make me feel lost and crazy and so fucking happy to even be in the same place as her. He loosens his grip on the sheets, flattening his palms on the bed. No, Hana was never the one for him. That he is certain of. But if you don’t feel the same way then you’re not the one for him either. And that fucking crushes him.
He huffs out a long breath and sits up, he tangles his fingers in his hair trying to soothe himself. It doesn’t really work but it was worth a shot. He gets off the bed and heads toward the door, he wants to wash his face with cold water, he needs a refresher, so he exits the room and begins walking towards the bathroom. As he reaches the door, he hears the sound of your bedroom door opening. You are leaving your bedroom for the first time today he believes and you immediately stop in your tracks when you spot him. Your eyes go wide and your mouth falls open just the slightest. He stares at you, just stares at you. His expression hardens when he remember this is you ghosting him but you speak up. Actually speak up.
“Hi.” You squeak out.
Explosions. Taehyung feels explosions everywhere. His heart is exploding, his mind is exploding, the world is exploding. How does one girl manage to rile him up this much? All you said was say hi…
“Hey.” He grumbles, not really doing much to hide his bitter tone.
You can’t help but wince at his response.
“Umm,” you start, your eyes darting all around the hallway. “Wanna…” your words get lost on your tongue.
“Wanna what?” he says harshly, folding his arms over his broad chest.
“Wanna watch a movie?” you whisper, your eyes down at your feet.
“Do I wanna watch a fucking movie?” He scoffs. Loud and clear.
“Oh.” You say, your eyes finally meeting his.
“Oh.” he mimics, his stiff expression never letting up.
“Taehyung—”
“What?” there’s a bite in his tone.
“Please watch a movie with me?” Your eyes are pleading. God, that’s when they are his favorite.
Taehyung stares at you from across the hall, just staring, he lowers his arms to his side and stuffs his hands in the pockets of his sweats.
“What movie?” He finally asks, his tone still tight.
“Any movie, it doesn’t matter.” You rush to say, feeling hopeful he will take you up on your suggestion. You shift from one foot to the other, your nerves spiking. He loves seeing you nervous like this, he can’t help it.
“Can we talk first?” He takes a few steps towards you but you clumsily move backward, backing away from him.
“We’re talk-talking right now.” You breathe out, your eyes never leaving his.
“You know exactly what I am talking about y/n.” his voice goes lower.
“Just wanna watch a movie.” You take another step back.
“Jesus y/n,” Taehyung rolls his eyes at you, “you really suck ass at confrontation.” He bites back.
You’re quiet for a moment, your eyes still on Taehyung. You suck in your bottom lip between your teeth, biting down hard. You are lost in your thoughts, trying to focus on the specific one you need. You’re swaying from side to side, clearly thinking of how to respond to him.
“You fingered me, big deal.” You finally huff out, rolling your eyes.
“It’s not a big deal? Then why haven’t you talked to me all fucking week?” He takes a few steps closer, closing the major distance between you two. This time your feet stay planted on the ground.
“Was worried you might take it… the wrong way.” You say, your eyes slide to the side. You understand this is a weak ass excuse but…
“Take it the wrong way?” He takes another step forward.
“Yeah. We’re just friends, right? Friends don’t let friends get them off. Didn’t want you to think this was something more.” Your words slice through him, cutting him up. Something more. Of course that’s what you were worried about. You just didn’t want him to catch feelings for you or whatever the fuck. Well too fucking late babe, he thinks bitterly.
“Right.” He finally says, taking one last step forward. He won’t lie, his heart doesn’t feel good. It feels sick probably, like it has an aching fever. Taehyung leans forward until his lips are barely touching the shell of your ear. His warm breaths tickling your skin.
“Just friends also don’t moan out for them over and over wanting to come.” He whispers, “And just friends don’t enjoy what we did as much as we did.” His deep voice sends chills across your body as you sigh out. “But right, we are just friends.”
“Yeah.” You release a shaky breath, “So…A movie?”
“Sure, y/n.” he leans away from you and he gives a half smile, he looks pained. And it hurts you. You nod your head towards the stairs and he nods in agreement.
But there’s still a lingering tension in the air, you can feel and you are sure Taehyung feels it too. There’s no way you are imagining a tension this thick. Somethings not right and after all of this, and you aren’t sure it ever will be.
~
You’re full of regret. Don’t get it wrong, you don’t regret crossing the line with Taehyung…you regret telling him to forget about it. You just got so scared…he is closest thing you have to a friend and you hope you didn’t ruin that. But there’s more. You feel something more and that scares you too. What happens if you tell him you liked it and you want more but he rejects you first? He beats you to it.
“Should I make some popcorn?” Taehyung asks, his hands fiddling with the TV’s remote as he lowers the volume.
“Sure.” You respond a bit awkwardly. You find your way to the couch, sitting on one end, pulling the blanket to your lap.
Taehyung takes his time in the kitchen, he gulps down a glass of water as he waits for the popcorn to finish in the microwave. Once the timer is going off he takes it out and pours the popcorn in a large bowl and makes his way to the living room finding the sofa and taking a seat on the other side of it.
“You can sit closer Tae…” you shyly offer, your hand gesturing towards the spot next to you but Taehyung stares at you with hard eyes.
“No thanks. I’m good here.”
“Seriously Taehyung? You pout, “Can we try to be a little normal?”
“Don’t know if that’s possible.” He quickly retorts, staring straight ahead now.
You frown at that, your lips turning downward in the most animated way. This is a mess. Everything is a mess. And it’s your fault. You feel bad, so fucking bad. You feel like Taehyung hates you. And that thought breaks your freaking heart into a million and one pieces.
“Taehyung?” you start to inch closer to him and he whips his head in your direction.
“”What?” He leans away from you, confused why you are scooting closer to him.
“Taehyung…” you sit as close to him as possible and he looks at you with a face void of emotion. You eye him carefully and he looks numb. This just makes you feel worse. Tears start to prick your eyes and your face scrunches up…Taehyung’s features soften when he realizes how close you are to crying.
“Cry baby.” He states, his voice much softer than he intended. “Come.” He pulls you by the arm, bringing him to his body.
“Taehyung.” You sniffle.
“What is it?” he replies back easily this time, no harshness in his tone…like, instead it’s the sound of comfort.
“I’m sorry.” You choke out, burying your head into his chest. You inhale him and his scent makes you feel dizzy. You breathe him in again, getting high off of him. You start to silently cry, your tears wetting his shirt…he doesn’t say anything though, he just rubs your back soothingly.
“What are you sorry for?” he asks, almost hesitant.
“Everything.” You admit. “Sorry for what I said in the hall…sorry for…” you cry a little more.
“For?”
“I shouldn’t have asked you to forget about that night.” You finally push out, sliding your eyes to the side. Taehyung blows out a puff of air and offers you a small smile.
“Why did you?” he asks softly.
“I don’t know.” You answer with a half-truth. Taehyung creases his brows, pulling them together so dramatically as his expression hardens again.
“You don’t know?” he pinches his nose with his fingers. “Listen…did you enjoy it?” he asks bluntly. His eyes finding yours again and it’s that same gaze that drives you insane.
“Taehyung…”
“Did you enjoy it y/n?” he asks again, this time more demanding.
“I…” the words get lost in a lump in your throat.
“Words y/n.” His hardened expression intimidates the fuck out of you to say the least. “Is that what you are afraid of? That because you liked it so much…you’ll want more?”
Bulls fucking eye. You swallow down your response. You just let your mouth open and close and open and close again, unable to say anything.
“What did I say about using your words y/n?” Taehyung scoots closer, making you feel fucking suffocated…but not entirely in a bad way.
“Tae…” his name escapes you in a breathy moan.
Taehyung stares down at you, his eyes narrowed and serious. He breathes out roughly before scoffing.
“I think we’re done here.” He states coldly, he stands to his feet and begins walking away, leaving you confused and breathless.
Done? How? What does he mean? Taehyung then continued to avoid you for several more days…until…
~~~~~~
“I’m not doing it.” Taehyung yells out, loud enough for you, who is in another room to hear.
“What?” You shout back, wiping your forehead with a towel. “Did you say something?” It would be the first time he’s saying something to you in several days.
“I said I’m not doing it!” and with that you hear him bolt up the stairs and after a few seconds the sound of his bedroom door slamming shut could be heard throughout the house.
“Jeez…” You step out of your dance studio, sweat patted dry into your skin. “What’s he throwing a tantrum over?” but somehow you have a feeling. You walk into the living room towards the bright TV, you face falling at the sight. The TV is bright white with black letter painted across, showing the ‘Request’ that has your face as white as a ghost.
Request: make out for 1 Minute.
Penalty: no power for 5 days.
You reread the words at least 30 fucking times, letting each syllable sink in,
you sigh to yourself, feeling fucking lost. You know you have to talk to Taehyung, his reaction also repeating in your crazy mind. You slump your shoulders as your head bows down in defeat. He fucking hates you, wants nothing to do with you right now. It’s just some kissing right? You both have literally done worse. You have to talk to him. You lift your head and look in the direction of the staircase, your lips pulling into a pout. How would this go?
~
“I said we’re not doing it.” Taehyung plainly states. He sits on the edge of his bed, fists balling up the end of the blanket. You look between him and his cool statement and his fists of frustration.
“Taehyung we—”
“We can just take the penalty.” His tone is firm.
You look at him incredulously. Take the fucking penalty? 5 days without power?
“You’re saying you would rather have 5,” You lift up your hand showing him your five fingers in case he doesn’t know what 5 looks like, “5 fucking days without power then to just kiss me? Like really?”
“Really.” He stands from his bed, stepping in front of you, walking you backwards. You step back until your back hits the wall next to the door. Taehyung stops only a few inches away from you, looming over your body.
“So…I’ll be taking a nap now.” He says flatly.
Is he serious? He really won’t do this with you? You have seen each other naked for Christs sake! You’ve never not done a request! You get that he’s mad at you, but 5 days? 5 whole days?
“It’s just a minute Taehyung…” You murmur more to yourself than him. Hurt probably written all over your face. You are feeling absolutely rejected. A feeling you hate the most.
“Yeah.” he takes a step back. “A minute I don’t want to be a part of.” He spits out at you.
Fucking ouch.
Things with Ben hurt. Bad. But Taehyung wanting nothing to do with you? Hurts worse.
You look down at your feet, fidgeting with your digits.
“Why are you being such an asshole?” You say between deep breaths. You can’t cry. He’s quiet. Too quiet. You suck in a shaky breath, “I already said sorry so why are you treating me this way?” You don’t mean to sound so pathetic but you do because well, you are. He lets silence linger in the air. You can’t muster the courage to look up at him, he’s probably void of all emotion, probably will give you some robotic answer. If you are even lucky enough to get an answer.
You hear Taehyung exhale through his nose but that’s it. Without even sparing him a glance, you turn towards the door to take your leave but then you feel Taehyung’s hand on your arm stopping you.
“Wait.” His voice is rough. He clears his throat and releases his grip on you.
You turn to face him, finally lifting your head to see him. His eyes are narrowed and his lips are set in a firm line. At least he has an expression.
“What?” you mumble, your eyes glossy.
“Don’t cry.” He crosses his arms over his chest, his eyes narrowing even more. His gaze is not one to fuck with.
“I won’t.” you say, unconvincing.
“y/n…” his gaze begins to soften.
“I won’t” you repeat, still just as unconvincing. Your eyes gloss over even more and you feel your throat beginning to tighten.
Taehyung relaxes his features even more, and to your surprise he reaches forward and rubs your shoulder.
“Please don’t cry.” His voice loses its edge, all softness now.
“I won’t” You choke out, barely able to keep your lip from quivering. A single tear falling from your eye.
“If I agree to do the request will you stop?” he asks, still rubbing your shoulder.
“If you-if you stop being an asshole I’ll stop.” Another tear.
“Okay, I’m sorry. I just…I just had to be firm with you.” He admits, his voice low.
“I don’t understand…” You cry out. More tears fallen on your cheek.
Taehyung looks at you with an odd expression you can’t decipher.
“Trust me, I know.” He says, defeat lacing his tone. “Can you just…respect my decision?” he adds on.
“I just don’t see the big deal…” you sniffle, “We’ve done worse.”
“And look where that got us.” He laughs bitterly.
He’s not…wrong. But still, for some reason you keep pushing it.
“It’s just a minute Tae.” You try again, wiping your flushed face of tears.
Taehyung raises his brows at you and sets his lips into a firm line again, he places his hands into his pants pockets and rocks back and forth.
“Wanna do it that badly?” he lightly snaps. “Fine.”
You feel the shift in his mood again, he’s been a roller coaster lately—it’s so unlike him. Are you doing this to him? Damn, girl you toxic as fuck.
You step forward and reach for his hand, he lets you.
“What’s wrong?” You finally ask.
“What’s wrong?” he mocks your voice.
“Taehyung please—”
“I want to kiss you.” He states. “And…and...” he tears his gaze away from you, looking all around the room instead. “And you just don’t get that.”
Taehyung steps forward, a fire in his eyes as he speaks up again.
“It’s cruel for me, don’t you think? I get to kiss you until that timer goes off and then what? I have to pretend we didn’t just do that? Have to pretend we didn’t do something I have been wanting to do for god knows how long! I have to pretend we’re just fucking friends?” he shouts, laughing bitterly again.
You’re…stunned. Taehyung takes a step back again, his eyes never leaving yours. You look up at him with pinched brows and a confused mind.
“But yeah, let’s do the stupid request. That’s a great idea.” He rolls his eyes.
“Taehyung…” You start to feel guilty, like maybe and by maybe you mean obviously, you struck a chord.
“No y/n, we’re doing the request.” He cages you with his arms on either side of you, he leans forward until his nose is brushing yours. “I’m going to kiss you, and I am not responsible for what happens after that.” He leans away again, “So, I’ll see you tonight.”
289 notes · View notes
ladyartemesia · 4 years
Text
The Terms
Tumblr media
◐ PART III of THE ALPHA ◐
◐ Part I ◐ Part II ◐ Series Masterlist ◐
Tumblr media
Pairing: Alpha Werewolf Jimin x Omega Reader
Rating: Mature (for this installment)
Warnings: ABO sexual dynamics including discussion of scenting, marking, mating, and claiming. Violence and discussion of violence relating to ritual combat. Jin’s pheromones need their own warning. Yoonji and Yunli are not the same person.
Word Count: 2300
Author’s Note: As promised, this chapter is twice as long as the previous two and a lot of what people have been speculating about in the asks is discussed in this chapter... along with a few surprises...
Tumblr media
“Luna rex provocatione means ‘the moon king’s challenge.’ It is never invoked lightly as its consequences are grave indeed... If an alpha believes that he is the true Alpha and the goddess has placed another in his path as a test of worthiness and dedication to the pack, then he will acknowledge his acceptance of this test by declaring luna rex provocatione. Once the challenge has been set forth only the death of the Luna’s first mate or the total surrender of the challenger can satisfy it...”
Text of the traditional speech given by a chief elder to begin a luna rex provocatione ritual [7th century]
Tumblr media
“I know you won’t understand, but this isn’t personal-”
Jimin offered his rival an overtly feigned smile.
“You plan to kill me and claim my mate. Which part of that could I possibly take personally?”
Tae snorted somewhere in the background and Yoongi elbowed him hard.
Tradition dictated that both alphas meet with their second-in-commands in the chief elder’s chambers to discuss the terms of combat.
Namjoon brought Min Yoongi and Jimin had somehow ended up with Taehyung.
He didn’t remember actually agreeing to make Tae his second...
It just sort of happened somewhere between calming his hysterical mother and quickly reading up on archaic pack law.
The chief elder coughed uncomfortably. Goddess, this ascension was supposed to be easy. He never in a million moons thought he’d be in this position.
The last chief elder who oversaw a luna rex provocatione ritual had immortalized it in his journal as “the single most horrific moment of my life,” describing in detail the Luna howling in torment at the loss of her mate and the victor collapsing over the corpse of his foe in misery and guilt.
As in the past, the outcome of this conflict was already decided by fate...
Pain and regret weighed heavily on the older man as he considered the younger of the two alphas.
Park Jimin was going to die violently and there was nothing he could do about it.
“Because Kim Namjoon issued the challenge, his opponent will decide combat form. Your choices are human form, half-shifted, and wolf-form. After your choice is declared, Namjoon may add a minor alteration if he so desires. Park Jimin, please declare form.”
“Human,” he answered softly - and every single occupant of the room recoiled in response.
It was bad enough to witness a fight in wolf form or half-shifted... but to engage in ritual combat as a human-
It would be brutal - even psychologically disturbing - without the benefit of a wolf’s hide to mask the savagery.
Namjoon’s eyes widened in shock, but he recovered quickly.
“I request teeth and claws.”
Not quite a half-shift. Teeth and claws allowed for attacks using lengthened canines and claws.
It could make a kill slightly more... humane.
Jimin nodded and the elder pressed his seal over the first of the terms.
Tumblr media
The were no windows in the small, stuffy chamber and between the heavy ceremonial garb and the nearly twenty braided praesidium bracelets wrapped around his wrists, Jimin felt as if the blood in his veins was literally coming to a boil.
Though he dared not remove them to relieve his discomfort.
Each bracelet represented a prayer to the goddess. They were given as protection to a loved one before a great trial.
His mother had not stopped making them since the ascension. She’d torn apart her most expensive dress and spent hours twisting the fabric strips into intricate traditional braids while she prayed...
Jimin’s fingers sought them out for comfort as the miserable parade of ritual legalities marched past the two hour mark.
Many agreements (like Jimin’s insistence that his mother not be allowed to attend the fight and Namjoon’s pledge to financially support the Park family in the event of their alpha’s death) were settled quickly, however the sheer number of details to be solidified was overwhelming.
“I think it best if we adjourn for a short recess,” the chief elder sighed wearily and Taehyung nearly ran Yoongi over in his desperate scramble to finally use a restroom.
Jimin turned to leave, but a hand on his elbow drew him back.
“I want you to know, I did this for you as much as for the rest of them.”
His tone was low and carefully respectful, but Jimin’s wolf snapped irritably at the elder alpha’s presumption.
“What an... interesting statement to make.”
He pointedly removed Namjoon’s hand from his arm with calculated nonchalance.
“No one expected you to be chosen... Jungkook, or even Hoseok, would have been an understandable alternative, but you’ve never taken being an alpha seriously-”
“According to you,” Jimin fired back, finally allowing his voice to harden in cold fury. “I have always known and valued what I am. I simply never felt called to your version of it.”
Namjoon tilted his head in acknowledgement.
Park Jimin might not look particularly dangerous ... but for the first time, the Kim alpha considered that he may have underestimated his opponent.
“Either way - the pack does not trust you. They are not confident in your ability to lead them,”his hands fisted reflexively at his side as he considered the weight of his next words, “...but if you beat me, they will never question your strength.”
Jimin’s hands tightened into fists.
Namjoon might be an overconfident windbag, but he had a point.
He faced an uphill battle to subdue a restless pack as well as increased threats from rival clans looking to expand their own power and territory.
The challenge was a chance to establish his claim.
Or die trying.
“You think rather highly of yourself,” he chuckled and Namjoon bristled indignantly.
“I have devoted my life to the pack. I have never questioned my duty to them.” He leaned forward a bit, holding the younger alpha’s gaze with purpose. “That is why I will not hesitate to kill you.”
“And what of the Luna?” Jimin wondered in mock contemplation. “Do you think she will take kindly to the loss of her mate if you win?”
Namjoon’s jaw clenched. The Luna was clearly a sore subject.
“If I win, then you were never really her mate were you? Your entire existence boils down to nothing more than a sacred test in my destined path.”
Silence stretched heavily as the two alphas regarded one another with open hostility.
“I will fight you till the last shred of life is ripped from my body,” Jimin snarled.
A shiver ran down Namjoon’s spine, though he was far from intimidated.
“At least now you sound like an alpha,” he scoffed.
Then he was gone.
Tumblr media
Jimin waited till the sound of the older man’s footsteps faded before slamming his fist into the table.
He needed air and to be alone with his thoughts for moment before he could civilly resume the endless negotiations.
Unfortunately, the only place offering both of those things was a cluttered balcony near the back of the building.
The room traditionally designated for luna rex provocatione proceedings had been used as a storage closet for at least the last hundred years (and therefore needed to be hastily cleared after Namjoon’s inconvenient declaration). Consequently, the room’s former contents (piles of toys from this season’s charity drive) were now strewn haphazardly across the narrow outdoor space like debris from a brightly colored bomb.
Jimin carefully navigated his way to the balcony’s wooden rail and lifted his eyes to the moon.
“Please,” he begged softly “... send me a sign.”
Tumblr media
“If he did not hate me before, he surely does now,” you sighed, staring morosely at the lights flickering in the old chamber building. Somewhere within the bowels of that archaic fire hazard, your mate of less than twenty-four hours was negotiating a nightmare.
“This is not your fault, Luna-“
“Isn’t it?” you snapped. “That’s who I am. I’m the Luna, if I could just accept another mate without someone getting their throat ripped out, then none of this would be necessary.”
Jin sqeezed your hand sympathetically.
The council placed you under guard in a small cottage across from the elder’s chambers in order to prevent the alphas from having any contact with you. Since then you kept a constant vigil from its rickety porch, hoping to catch a glimpse of the young man whose life you had ruined.
“Would you do it then - if you could?... Would you accept another mate to spare the Park alpha?”
Bitter tears burned at the corner of your eyes.
“Yes,” you whispered, “...I think I’d do almost anything to save him.”
Comfortable silence settled between you for several minutes - until a small flutter of movement drew your gaze to the chamber balcony.
Then he walked out.
And just the sight of him was enough to slam your heart up into your throat.
Jimin...
Jin quickly turned to your guard and unleashed a wave of pheromones that would have knocked out a grizzly bear. The guard whined and abandoned her post to follow him inside without a second thought, leaving you conveniently alone.
Male omegas are a rare and dangerous breed, you observed wryly, before retuning your attention to the man across the path.
A painful ache twisted hungrily in your gut as you watched him tilt his face to the sky. Somehow the relentless beauty of his features was even more captivating in the moonlight...
Suddenly a strong breeze braided though the air around you, playing with the loose strands of your hair and carrying your scent away from the small cottage and up to the balcony where the young alpha sought solace.
Jimin’s eyes shot open as the rich, unforgettable essence of you exploded over his senses. His gaze immediately locked with yours, cutting through the distance and darkness with an intensity that left you reeling.
You could not see his face at the ascension - instead the blindfold left you burning with curiosity as your mind conjured a thousand variations of how he might have looked on you in that moment...
Yet every last one of them fell short.
You could never have imagined the naked longing - the fierce desire - that burned boldly in his regard.
A strange, desperate frustration overtook you.
He was too far away - and Namjoon was going to take him from you before you could touch him again - before you could breathe him in again-
The cruel wind continued to pull your fragrance toward Jimin like an erotic incense, yet it offered you no such gift in return. You could not discern his scent and you wanted to - needed to - with a voracity that was almost blinding.
Please...
A mournful whimper tore from your lips and Jimin’s body reacted instantly to your distress.
Suddenly he was digging through the piles of mismatched trinkets and toys on the balcony, tossing aside all manner of discarded treasures till he finally found what he was searching for.
“Jimin-hyung! Where are you? Chief elder wishes to resume-”
Jimin glanced toward door as his fingers worked frantically over the object his hands.
“I’m on my way!”
His eyes found yours one last time, then he drew back-
A muted thwack echoed a few inches from your shoulder as whatever Jimin threw embedded itself into one of the porch beams.
Your fingers trembled with anticipation as you reached forward to retrieve (what appeared to be) a pointed metal dart - probably from a wall-mounted Darts game someone donated...
A length of braided cloth was tied tightly to the shaft and you recognized it immediately as a praesidium bracelet.
Soothing waves of Jimin’s scent drifted up from the fabric where it had rubbed repeatedly against the glands in his wrist.
Your body calmed instantly. Cold desperation gave way to the soft warmth of tenderness.
He knew.
He knew what you needed and he found a way to send it to you.
Your hand closed tightly over the bracelet as you crumpled to your knees and sobbed.
Tumblr media
A gentle knock sounded at Namjoon’s door and a familiar figure slipped inside.
“...Yunli?”
Namjoon blinked for several moments in confusion before closing his evening read to approach her.
“Yunli... why - what are you doing here? It’s late - the ritual set to begin at sunrise.” He glanced at the door behind her, “Is Yoongi with you?”
She shook her head.
“My brother doesn’t know I’m here.”
Namjoon’s eyes widened as he considered all the ways his best friend’s younger sister sneaking into his house (in the middle of the night no less) could go horribly wrong.
“Ah. Well... that’s ...not good,” he mumbled, running his hand over his face. “Are-um - are you here to wish me luck for tomorrow?”
He reached for a glass of water to soothe his suddenly dry throat.
“No. Frankly I hope Park Jimin beats you to a bloody pulp.”
Water sprayed comically out of Namjoon’s mouth as he began to cough violently.
“What?!” *wheeze* “Why?!”
She offered him a sad smile.
“You know why, Kim Namjoon.”
He did know why.
Yunli had loved him (or believed she loved him) since she was a little girl.
He sighed heavily.
“Yunli, we’ve been over this-”
“One week. The change comes to me in one week-”
“You’re Yoongi’s sister-”
“I’ll be twenty years old, and for the last time I’m not your sister-”
“Goddess above, Yunli!” he shouted, “You’re just a child!”
Yunli’s hands gripped the collar of his shirt and yanked him down to her level.
“I am not a child!” she growled.
Then her mouth was on his and every single thought he ever had disappeared.
There was only her.
Heat poured through him like heavy syrup as his senses surrendered one by one. His arms wrapped around her without the slightest hesitation, as if their sole purpose was draw her in.
Sweet... Oh goddess, she’s sweet.
Yunli whined needily and a possessive growl rumbled from his chest in response.
Then she was pulling back - wrenching herself away from him with an anguished sob.
Bitter tears flowed freely down her impossibly beautiful face and Namjoon - who spent the majority of his life barely acknowledging his heart - suddenly felt it shatter.
“You should have waited for me,” she whispered.
“Yunli-I-” he tried calling out to her, but it was no use.
She was already gone.
Tumblr media
“Are you sure you have everything you need?”
Jimin offered his second a distracted smile and nodded. His room looked the same as it did the morning of the ascension, yet his entire life was different...
“You were great today, Taehyung. I couldn’t have done it without you.”
Tae felt his chest swell with pride. He didn’t want to think about what sunrise might bring, but he was determined to serve his old friend well.
For as long as he could.
“I don’t know about that,” he chuckled, recalling that he fell asleep on his feet for three entire terms before anyone noticed. “You’re a surprisingly ruthless negotiator. I barely contributed.”
“I wasn’t alone though...” Jimin whispered, “and when Namjoon first issued the challenge... I thought I might be.”
Taehyung gulped, pushing back the oppressive sorrow settling in his gut in favor of some levity.
“You - uh - you actually missed the wildest part of the whole day.”
“...I did?”
“Yeah it was bizarre. Did you notice the table was different after our break?”
Jimin shrugged. His thoughts had been... elsewhere at that point.
“We couldn’t find you at first, so you missed the whole ordeal but - when we all came back to the room, that big oak table was split in half.”
Tumblr media
Hello my precious readers! If you would like to be added to the taglist, let me know in the comments.
(If you are already on the taglist, I will automatically tag you in all future chapters, you do not need to ask to be tagged again.)
Please please please PLEASE let me know what you think! This chapter was HARD and I genuinely aganized over it. Your feedback and support are what kept me pushing though. Truly. I would love to hear from you! I treasure every word of feedback like diamonds.
End Note: Yoonji was mentioned earlier in the story. She is Yoongi and Yunli’s cousin. Yunli and Yoonji are separate characters.
2K notes · View notes
syubub · 3 years
Text
What makes BTS most vulnerable
Woo! A reading! I wanted to do this bc its been on my list for a little while now!
I just got off work and wanted to do this asap! Pls forgive mistakes! I'm not gonna proof read bc im lazy.
Cheeky disclaimer: this is for entertainment purposes and not to be taken as fact! This is my interpretation of the cards!!
So so so so
First off, I did each member and also one for the group! I didn't have a specific plan in mind when I started, so I just went with the flow!
Let's start with the group first
Tumblr media
So. The 5 of pentacles is what makes them most vulnerable. This card talks about isolation, feeling lost, anxiety, not having money or influence. Most of all, a mindset of lack.
All of this to me makes me think that what makes them most vulnerable is the fear of being right back where they started. Feeling exiled from the industry, not having the funds to be sure of a stable future and also not having a strong sense of identity as a group and within the group. It's like their vulnerability comes from something almost like ptsd? Let me try to make that make more sense. I genuinely think that where they started and the uncertainty and constant ridicule really had an impact on them. The vulnerability they have as a group is essentially emotional distress? Like, I wish I had better words to explain. It's the fear that they haven't actually grown or gotten anywhere and that they are insignificant that is their vulnerability. Fear based on where they started?
I really hope that made sense. Moving on though, 7 of swords is how it manifests for them. This card is sneaky. It talks about getting away with something and betrayal but I think this meaning is the most relevant: strategic moves. So how their vulnerability manifests is that the fear that they have causes them (and the company) to make very specific moves to keep their fears from happening. It's like, they take steps to make sure their fears don't get realized. Career wise but also personally. They can sometimes force growth because they fear stagnation. Kinda like rolling something uphill? Once it loses momentum it starts rolling back down.
The other two cards, Wellness and busy times and multitasking, are what they can do to lessen that vulnerability. Keeping healthy in mind body and spirit (also keeping the group bond healthy too) as well as channeling their emotions and fears into productivity. (Think the ly:tear album)
Seokjin
Tumblr media
This is really intresting. So, what makes him most vulnerable is repressed emotion that causes inner turmoil. The moon is all about your insides and the vastness it has. In its reverse it talks about the darker parts of your subconscious. So, him bottling shit up and repressing it becomes a monster that affects him without him even necessarily knowing.
As for how that manifest in his life, it literally affects his judgment. Like, literally. It messes with his decision making.
As a fellow human with a similar problem, I can almost bet that any issue he has with another member will be shoved away and it will fester until he's at his breaking point and he'll absolutely weaponize it but disguise it as "just poking fun" or he might also purposefully create low level chaos. It's really intresting because this could manifest in so many ways. It could be his insecurities, issues with other people, fears ect and they fester in his brain space fucking with his judgment.
What he can do to lessen this vulnerability is deep emotional healing. Istg these cards are too perfect to make up. He needs to do THE WORK and heal it. He probably recognizes this and is working on it. Its not fair to himself to put himself aside in order to put other people first. (I think this probably happened a lot in the early bts days bc he had to be an older brother and a responsible figure to 6 other kids so he prioritized group harmony over his own issues and emotions)
Yoongi
Tumblr media
????
Um, okay. So what makes yoongi most vulnerable is the dark side of wealth. That's the 10 of pentacles rev. But it gets interesting bc the 10 of swords isn't what makes him vulnerable but it also isn't how it manifests?? So here's my theory time. What makes him most vulnerable is the dark side of wealth. I can only assume that it's the isolation and internal conflict of benefiting off of a system that fucked you over in the first half of your life and also feeling bad for having wealth that most people can never imagine? I really don't know? But with the 10 of swords talking about betrayal and deep wounds, it could be that he's extremely afraid of being taken advantage of? Like, that's another downside of wealth. Maybe people have tried to use him for money or influence? Especially in his personal life. Like, he probably finds it extremely hard to get close to people because he's afraid of betrayal over something that is already hard for him to deal with?
Also loss. He wasn't born rich. He worked his ass off to get what he has and he's probably afraid to lose it. He might "stash" money?
Anyway, knight of swords, how it manifests. This card is about a drive to succeed. So essentially this makes him run and push himself hard and harder and harder to out run what he sees as an inevitable end? Sometimes this can blind him.
As for what he can do to lessen this vulnerability, we have, self confidence through God confidence. This card to me talks about having faith in your actions and skills and trusting in yourself even if you doubt your ability. Essentially, yoongi just needs to trust in himself to land on his feet no matter what happens. Life is always uncertain so he needs to trust that he can weather any storm he might face.
Hoseok
Tumblr media
This was one gave me some thoughts. So, similar to jin, it's the bottling shit up and having you subconscious mind eventually figure shit out because it's been neglected but with the 2 of swords in reverse, talking about confusion and being indecisive, I think this kinda causes him to shut down? He might get apathetic. It's almost like when you work a computer so hard that it crashes.
And how this manifests for him with the 3 of pentacles in reverse is that he gets thrown out of alignment with the group. Kinda like how you shouldn't drive on a flat tire. He withdraws and becomes hard to reach and puts up a wall that causes a lot of problems for him as well as those he is around. It's a defense mechanism. It can also manifest in him preferring to work alone as well instead of group settings.
This exposes him to depression and doubt.
Also similar to jin, for how to lessen this vulnerability we have Bless your heart with talks about reaching out (breaking down that wall) and healing your heart and healing the root issue.
Namjoon
Tumblr media
Okay. This is the one that makes so much sense but also confuses me.
So. What makes him most vulnerable is the magician rev and 10 of cups. Unrealized potential and poor planning as well as love, harmony and alignment.
So.... what? How does love and the happiest happiness make him vulnerable?
Well, I think he's suspicious of it. I think that he can't help but wonder in his big big big brain if THIS is the right happy or if its really happiness at all? Almost like commitment issues but also not? It's like, he's afraid that it won't last? He might have trouble fully allowing himself happiness. Also, what makes him the most vulnerable is love. It opens up every bit of his soul and puts it on a laundry line for everyone to see and I don't think he thinks he's worthy enough to be seen like that?
As for how it manifests in his life, 9 of cups, personal fulfillment and a strive to have everything else in hislife sorted out? Essentially wanting to have a perfect foundation so eventually he can share with all the important people in his life.
As for what he can do. Value your self worth. pretty straight up. He needs to value himself more. He deserve love and he deserves to feel seen even if it's uncomfortable at first.
Jimin
Tumblr media
Oki. What makes jimin most vulnerable is choice. The 7 of cups talks about focusing on what's best for you and making choices based not on illusion. I think jimin is plagued by unrealistic expectations and confronting the fact that it's not possible is what makes him most vulnerable. He makes choices that are driven by illusion. Usually about self. I think specifically about how he doesn't always see how good he already is so he pushes himself to chase after something that isn't always right for him or even there in the first place. Acknowledging and facing it brings vulnerability that he doesn't always want to face. I think he might equate vulnerability to powerlessness.
How it manifests. 9 of wands rev. Paranoia and being defensive. It's his own fear and insecurities manifesting outside of himself.
As for what he can do, passion and purpose and multifaceted. Focus on what is close to his heart and don't get side tracked. Theres so much more to this situation and there isn't an easy fix. There's a lot of things that need working on in order for him to feel comfortable.
Taehyung
Tumblr media
Oki oki oki. What makes Tae most vulnerable is strength rev. Raw emotion. He doesn't always express his emotions and when he chooses to be more open, his emotions go through a bit of a filter. Showing his unfiltered emotions makes him most vulnerable because it's him as he is. In his truest form. It's all of his wants, joys, fears. Everything.
As for how it manifests, 10 of wands and Hanged man, it becomes a burden that he carries because he feels like he can't just be honest. He pauses and allows himself time to feel on his own but that means possibly being misunderstood and a bit isolated.
Now. What can he do to lessen it? Bless your heart and healthy communication in relationships. TALKING TO PEOPLE AND ALLOWING HIMSELF THAT VULNERABILITY. It's not bad to be vulnerable. Heal that shit bb bc you are worth it.
Jungkook
Tumblr media
So, what makes him most vulnerable? The world in rev. Not having closure and seeking it. The process of seeking closure for himself about things that could have or putting to rest something that has come full circle. It brings vulnerability because he has to face things that he could have done better. He has to face things coming to a close and be okay with is.
How it manifests, the tower, ace of cups, 5 of cups reversed.
The tower is essentially everything crumbling down. I think jk thinks too much? If you follow a ball of yarn all the way to the end then you just unraveled a whole ass ball of yarn.
Him going to close those things cause him to unravel his foundation.
With the ace of cups, creativity and love/ new emotions, I think him taking the time to pursue personal closure helps him to be more open to love as well as giving him creative fuel.
The 5 of cups rev. Means that him doing this closure thing helps him to forgive himself bc he's taking time to move on and tie up loose ends?
For jk this closure thing manifests in every aspect of his like and I almost see it as him shedding? Sounds weird but he's consciously moving on and paying attention to what he needs?
As for what he can do? Deep emotional healing! He runs the risk of feeling more of the tower manifestation so he needs to keep himself emotionally healthy in order for this to be productive instead of destructive!
~~~~~~~
Tumblr media
I hope y'all like this! I feel like the cards didn't always follow what I was kinda going for with my questions but it all works out in the end I guess?
My next reading will be up later this week (I've already done it and taken all of my notes. I just have to type it all out) so look foward to that as well!
180 notes · View notes
hxseok-honee · 3 years
Text
atlas heart || part 49
Tumblr media
a/n : "the incantation comes from latin 'protego', 'i protect', and 'diabolica', a declension of 'diabolicus', meaning 'diabolic, relating to the devil'. it is unclear if the translation is meant to suggest 'protection from the devil' or 'the devil protects.'..."
previous | next
tag list!! [closed]
@deepseavibez @siredjoonie @kawaii-desv @knadiuniverse @anxious-reading @catbugsugarpea @cahowlkook @amoreguk @taekookandyoongi @nogitsune-sama @whitetshirtsrus @gustavkonrad @lilacdreams-00 @seungkwanismyaesthetic @mochiteddybear @cosmicdaylight @helpitskpop @lovetootie2x @unnoticeableparadox @applejuice218 @amicalostgirl @bad-idea-personified @moralita76 @yoongiscrackhead @thebleuprince @jooniesmind @incredibleella @missbowkimjinju @marifujioka @evil-ian @uqhgood @milky-way-bitch @yellohoshi @agust-suck-my-d @okaysoplshelpme @cutehoshii @dreamcatcherjiah @butterflylion @thesunisup-theskyisblue @thealexalcala​  @yoonjibby​ @baepsaekid​ @surviving-in-neverland​ @blaisezabini​ @melswolf​ @michiiedreamer​ @minimochimin @ebeanz​ @bts-bambi​ @sleepyje0n
_______________________________
“Jungkook, will you stop eating all the cookies please--”
“How come Jin gets to eat everything in sight, but I can’t--”
“Because Jin is an insatiable mountain troll with no human manners and six stomachs--”
“Aw, Yoongi, you’re so loving with your words!”
“Shut up, Jin.”
“Kim Seokjin, stop eating the fucking food!” Jimin watches with thinly veiled exasperation as chaos unfolds in Yoongi and Hoseok’s countryside cottage. They’d arrived a few days prior, spending the week together before dispersing for Christmas Day, just in time for the full moon. It had been a chaotic week at best -- verbal altercations were had over stupid things like gift-wrapping techniques, and several small fires had already occurred in the kitchen, mostly due to Taehyung’s ice cream maker.
But somehow, they’d made it to Christmas Eve. And, so far, this Christmas Eve had been spent watching Jin eat all the food as it’s being made and consequently be kicked out of the kitchen entirely by Hoseok. Jimin’s seated in the living room with a perfect view of the chaos happening at the dining table. Y/n’s next to him, reading quietly with her head on Jimin’s shoulder. She’s especially tired today, the full moon just over 24 hours away, so Jimin’s staying close to her.
Namjoon and Taehyung are seated in front of the fireplace, engaged in an intense game of wizard’s chess. Namjoon is beating Taehyung by a landslide, but Taehyung just will not give up, something that makes Jimin smile fondly.
There’s a bang from the kitchen, catching everyone’s attention. Hoseok turns slowly from where he stands at the oven, smiling sheepishly at them.
“I may have put the pie in for too long.” The room is a collection of groans and exasperated laughter, Jin’s complaints overpowering the rest.
“How the fuck do you make a pie explode?! It’s a pie!” Hoseok looks to Yoongi for help, but the boy only shrugs.
“The man’s right, babe -- pie’s not that hard.” Hoseok lets out an affronted scoff, moving to open the window over the sink to let some of the smoke from the oven out. Jimin feels Y/n snicker softly beside him, and when he looks down at her, she’s peering over the top of her book at the scene in the kitchen. She looks so peaceful and happy, even with eyes full of exhaustion. He adores her entirely, and he knows it’s obvious to everyone but her.
Her eyes flick up to meet his then, and, over the cries of outrage from the kitchen about not having dessert, he hears her whisper to him.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” Jimin purses his lips, smothering the smile that’s rising to the surface. He only shakes his head, his expression judgmental.
“Not everything’s about you, Y/n, geez.” He laughs when she gives him a hard nudge with her elbow, and he moves to wrap his arms around her and trap her in his hold. She lets it happen, only grumbling noncommittally about being unable to read like this. He presses his lips to her temple stubbornly in response. “You have a lifetime to read -- let me hug you.”
“Alright, it looks like we’re having deconstructed pie for dessert, so everyone come eat!” Apparently, the argument about the oven disaster has ended, as Hoseok’s setting a pie on the table, a giant hole in the middle where it had imploded. Taehyung jumps up from his tragedy of a chess game and runs for the kitchen, socked feet sliding to a stop in front of the refrigerator. Plucking a big bowl of homemade ice cream -- its flavor to be determined -- from inside, he makes his way to the table and spoons a giant scoop into the pie’s battle wound. He gestures dramatically at it when he’s done.
“Problem solved!” Hoseok mimics him, gesturing just as dramatically at his disappointed boyfriend.
“The man’s right, babe -- problem solved!” The group laughs, everyone slowly making their way to the table to eat. Y/n sets her book on the couch, moving to stand, but Jimin stops her. From within his pocket he pulls a vial and shakes it, eyeing her knowingly when she groans.
“Ten seconds of pain, and then you can drown the taste out with some ambiguously flavored ice cream. If it makes tomorrow night more bearable for you, then ten seconds is nothing.” She smiles, taking the vial and uncorking it.
“Did you just admit to being someone who eats dessert before dinner?” She downs the potion in one go, eyes squeezed shut. She doesn’t see Jimin gazing at her lovingly, only to lower his eyes when she’s done. She hands him the vial and takes his hand, pulling him to his feet and toward the table.
“You promised me only ten seconds of pain before ice cream, so move faster, Park Jimin.” They take their seats in the chairs nearest them, Jungkook setting his plate down on Y/n’s other side and moving to join them. Tae, Yoongi, and Hoseok sit across from them, Jin and Namjoon taking the end seats. Namjoon leaves his seat after a moment, moving to pass out silverware and swap the ladle in Jin’s hand for a normal spoon. Jin refuses to give up his spoon of choice, glaring at the boy standing over him.
“Dude, I will fight you on Christmas Eve -- I have no qualms about fucking up the holiday spirit or whatever--”
“Stop.” It comes from Jungkook, spoken with a quiet urgency that halts all activity in the room. He’s standing just behind the seat he’d been about to take, his hand resting on the back of the chair. He ignores their questioning glances, his eyes locked on nothing in particular as he focuses his hearing on the open window. When he finds what he’s looking for, he meets Yoongi’s eyes, alarmed.
“I thought you said you put a barrier around your house.” Yoongi and Hoseok glance at one another, shaking their heads simultaneously as Yoongi looks back to the Gryffindor.
“We never got around to it…” But Jungkook’s stopped listening. And, for all the years of jokes, remarks, and complaints Jung Hoseok had ever made about the boy’s heightened senses, he can say with complete confidence later that Jeon Jungkook is the only reason he’s still alive. Because the only person in the room that’s ready for the unforgivable curse that’s shot though the open window, aimed squarely at Hoseok’s chest, is the boy who’d heard the call for death fall from its caster’s lips.
Suddenly, Jungkook’s across the room, launching his body at Hoseok’s over the dinner table and twisting in mid-air to throw his hand out toward the window. He’d never in his life attempted nonverbal magic -- not necessarily the most advanced of students -- but it’s said that wizards can create even miracles if they’re desperate enough. And this is nothing like the World Cup, when Hoseok had protected him from a nasty stunning curse -- the beam of light headed Jungkook’s way right now, in this moment of literal life and death, has been shot to kill. So desperation is exactly what produces the shield charm that emits from his entire body, exploding outwards and shattering all the windows in the house as it goes. The force of it blows them all back, throwing them to the floor and against walls with cries of shock.
And, while a shield is normally null against a curse so powerful, it seems Jungkook’s done more than just perform nonverbal magic for the first time. He’s produced a physical barrier -- an invisible pane of pure energy separating his enemies from his family. It takes out half of the kitchen as it goes, destroying the far wall completely and opening the house out to the cold night around them.
In the confusion of chaos and rubble, Y/n lifts her head from the kitchen floor, catching a glimpse of the group of people outside the house, all equally disarmed from the display of sheer strength they’d just witnessed. She counts 6 bodies, all donned in dark robes, and she knows immediately that this is a Death Eater attack.
Groaning, she drags herself to her feet, grabbing anyone she can get her hands on and pulling them with her, staying low to the ground. Jimin’s the first to follow, holding onto Y/n for dear life, but he can’t help the way he hesitates when he looks past the overturned dining table, the wood splintered and cracked amidst all the wasted food.
Because there in front of him, right where the initial wave of power had surged out from and disoriented them all, is something that is very much not human. When it rises to its feet, it stands to full height, and Jimin knows that it’s easily as tall as he is. Black fur as far as the eye can see, the end of its ears and tail painted grey -- its body practically ripples with strength as it moves, and it’s from behind a set of sharpened teeth and a massive jaw, so powerful it could probably break Jimin clean in half, that a low growl starts to rumble.
It becomes a terrifying snarl in a matter of seconds, those piercing teeth shining in the moonlight with deadly intent. Jimin can feel that he’s still moving -- that all of this is happening in slow motion as he runs for safety and that no time at all has actually passed -- but he feels his whole world stop, drowned out by the sound of his heart pounding in his ears, when the beast shifts. Preparing to attack, it turns its head at the last moment to meet his eyes, and Jimin sees then that he knows these eyes. He knows the way they look him over with guarded concern and the way they turn away from him as soon as they know he’s unharmed, silently telling him to find his own way out -- after all, Jeon Jungkook’s always made it clear he has better things to do than look after Park Jimin.
Jungkook presses all his weight into his back legs, crouching low for a moment so suspended in time that Jimin doesn’t even see him leave. But then he’s gone, wind rushing past Jimin’s face and blowing debris everywhere as the wolf takes off. After another hard tug from Y/n that pulls Jimin’s focus back to the matter at hand, he only hears when Jungkook finds his first target, the ripping of cloth and the hellish cry of pain ringing in Jimin’s ears like a nightmare.
Tripping over pieces of the ceiling and walls -- the back half of the house essentially crumbling in on itself -- Jimin finds the faces of each of his friends. They’re all there with the exception of Jungkook, who seems almost feral, if the shrieks of death behind them are anything to go by. The group stumbles from the side of the house through a door that’s comically useless at this point, and when they circle around to the back, it becomes clear that there are far more than 6 Death Eaters.
The group that had led the attack has all but been taken out now, Jungkook nowhere to be seen -- but he’s certainly left evidence of his presence there. Jimin can’t tell if these people are dead or still dying, but he doesn’t have time to sort through the discarded bodies to check. Behind the cottage is a field of tall wheat that's surrounded by forest-- a massive expanse of land -- and when they look into this field to the top of a hill not too far away, there’s another wave of Death Eaters lined up, these faces rather familiar to just two of his friends. Jimin hears swearing behind him, and then Hoseok’s pushing past him roughly, only stopped by Namjoon’s hand clamping down around his wrist.
“Don’t, Hoseok! We can’t do this -- there’s too many of them. We have to run--”
“They just tried to kill me, Namjoon! In my own home!” Hoseok whirls around and gets in his face, eyes wild. Jin tenses next to Y/n, one of his hands hovering over his pocket where his wand is. When she follows his eyes, she sees that the line of Death Eaters has started to approach.
They move slowly, as if they have all the time in the world. As if they have nothing to fear, organized and protected against this mismatched group of ambushed friends. She watches as they approach like predators waiting for the kill, and she knows that this is no simple Death Eater attack -- it’s a massacre.
And then, just as silently as he’d disappeared, Jungkook’s returned. Their attackers are given no warning, only registering that the wheat around them is rustling when one of them is violently pulled down into it. He’s gone in an instant, his screams echoing in the night as he’s dragged through the dirt toward the house.
The moment Jungkook emerges at the edge of the field, the Death Eater is flying through the air and crashing into the remains of the house, slung from Jungkook’s jaws like nothing more than a ragdoll. He lands not a few feet away from them, and Yoongi’s jaw clenches when he recognizes the bloodied face of a fellow Slytherin. Turning to lock his gaze onto the line of his old classmates, he pushes past the group and summons his wand from within the rubble of his home with nothing more than the flick of his wrist. It flies from deep within the ruins into its master’s hand with ease, and Yoongi spins it between his fingers casually once he has it.
“I really hope you guys all know how to cast shields as powerful as Jungkook’s -- otherwise, we’re fucked.” The wolf in question falls into line with Yoongi, his whole body shaking from the warning growl forming deep within his chest. The rest of the group follows, facing their enemies head-on.
From Jungkook’s other side, he feels a warm hand press into the top of his head, and he knows it instinctively. He can also feel the cold length of a wand, hidden easily in the darkness of his fur and beneath her flattened hand. Y/n keeps him there for only a moment -- knowing they only have a moment -- and presses her fingertips against his skull as if to hold him back. As if to stall him just long enough to tell him to be careful. And then the moment is gone and she’s wrapping her fingers neatly around her wand, releasing him with a whisper.
“Go.”
--
None of them can say how long they’ve been there -- every second that passes is another that they could lose their lives, so it feels like they’re there a lifetime. They’ve huddled into a small circle, surrounded completely. Jungkook is mobile, weaving in and out of their enemies at too fast a speed to ever be hit by a curse. He’s taking them out slowly, dragging them back into the darkness one by one while the rest work just to stay alive. Unlike at the World Cup, where every enemy shot fired was red, these beams of lights are all hauntingly green, glowing in the night sky -- a sign that things are different now, death standing only a few feet away in the form of old friends.
Every killing curse fired is met with an equally powerful shield, a wall that shatters the moment it meets its mark. They’re cancelling each other out, evenly matched in a battle that won’t end until someone gets tired -- until someone makes a mistake. The only sounds come from incantations, spoken by those of their group that cannot cast silently.
Hoseok and Yoongi fight much like their opponents, masks of guarded silence -- a reminder that while they’re on opposite sides of the war, they were once very much the same. The difference, of course, is that their old housemates are now murderers without remorse. But that’s not their only problem.
Y/n suddenly stumbles next to Jimin, and he can’t even tear his eyes away from the Death Eater before him to check on her. He can only reach for her with his free hand, gripping her wrist in panic, which she rips from his hold with a groan. She only barely manages to raise her wand in time to block the killing curse headed right for her head. The force of her shield colliding with the curse so close to her knocks her back, and she falls into the circle with gritted teeth.
Jimin steps in front of her, closing the gap in their circle and allowing her a moment to recover inside their circle. But she never returns to her spot, only curling in on herself and gripping at her head with a cry of pain -- she knows this feeling. The feeling of her skull splitting, her body rejecting itself as it turns into something unnatural -- something unhuman.
But this can’t be happening. The full moon is not tonight, something she confirms simply by rolling over in the dirt and looking up at the sky, in excruciating pain. She can see clearly that this cannot be her reality, yet the popping of her spine as it dislocates itself is very much real. Reaching out blindly, she latches on to the first person she can find, her hand clamping down around Hoseok’s ankle and squeezing with all her might. He hisses above her and manages to glance down long enough to see an expression of pain he’d long become accustomed to.
“What the fuck?!” It’s the first time he’s spoken in ages, his attention back on his opponent as he works out in his mind how this is possible. There’s no time to reason through what he knows, however, because Y/n’s teeth are clenching so hard she’s afraid they might crack, her grip on his ankle tightening painfully. Hoseok makes a snap decision then, calling out into the night.
“Jimin, listen to me.” The boy’s on his left, so focused on the shield he’s casting that he responds only once he’s successfully blocked the deadly beam of green light.
“What is it, Hoseok--”
“You have to take her into the forest. Now.” His instructions are muffled by the sounds of a curse crashing into Namjoon’s shield, unheard by their enemies, but Jimin hears him clearly. He also hears the urgency in Hoseok’s voice, telling him there’s no time for questions. “It has to be you, Jimin.”
He knows then what Hoseok’s saying, what he hasn’t had the chance to confirm himself. Y/n’s transforming on a night other than the full moon, and they’re out of time. He calls for Y/n then, reaching back for her.
“Y/n -- baby, listen to me. We gotta go.” There’s a moment of nothingness, only her groans of pain, but then he feels her hand slamming down into his and gripping hard. And then his body is working faster than his brain.
Stepping forward out of the circle and straight for the man that’s been trying to end his life all night, Jimin swings his arm out, bringing a new shield up with him as he goes. It hits the Death Eater from the side, catapulting him through the air. Just as he’s in the downward arc of his fall, he’s caught suddenly, torso trapped in Jungkook’s jaws as the wolf leaps into the air to capture his next target. They crash to the ground not far away, hidden away in the wheat.
Jimin pulls Y/n to her feet, pointing his wand out into the field as he runs for the treeline.
“Fumos!” The effect is immediate, smoke pouring out of his wand and swirling around him in a dense fog. It keeps them hidden as they make a beeline for the trees, allowing them safe passage. Jimin chances a look over his shoulder and sees that the smoke hasn’t passed over his circle of friends, ensuring that they’ll still be able to see clearly and protect themselves.
Y/n stumbles again as they run, but Jimin’s hold on her keeps her going, and she registers that he’ll be there for her transformation. Panic seeps in through the pain, and she calls out desperately for him to stop, her vision leaving her. Jimin can feel her struggling against him, but he tightens his grip and forces her to follow. They’re close to the treeline by now, but it won’t be enough until they’re completely hidden. And, although he can’t see where the wolf has gone with his old enemy, Jimin steps in something wet and everything suddenly reeks of blood, so he knows Jungkook is near. Apparently, Y/n can smell it, too, because she’s struggling harder now.
“Jungkoo-- Jungkook, stop him!” Jimin grits his teeth and stops, turning to face his girlfriend and pulling her forward. She crashes right into him, the force of his sudden movement propelling her straight into his arms. Her eyes are wide open but her vision’s completely blacked out, which Jimin can see in the fact that she won’t look at him. But he doesn’t need her to.
Ducking low, he wraps an arm around her waist and throws her over his shoulder, ignoring her cries of outrage as he races for the forest just ahead. She pounds her fists against his back, practically roaring with fury as she fights him. He only pushes on, telling himself he’ll let her be as mad as she wants later, if they’re still alive.
Once they make it into the forest, Jimin runs only far enough that he feels unseen before setting her on her feet. She’s immediately falling to the ground, crawling blindly away from him and clawing at the dirt in pain.
“Go away! Just go away!” Disappearing behind a tree, she swears at him loudly, looking for any outlet for her pain. Jimin only turns to the treeline, letting her curse him as he surveys the land around him for Death Eaters. All he sees is Jungkook in the distance, turning in circles in the field as if lost.
Jimin watches as the wolf races for their friends, sliding to an urgent stop and turning back again in confusion when he doesn’t find what he’s looking for. He sees when Jungkook’s ears perk up at someone’s call, and his head is turning in Hoseok’s direction. Hoseok’s lips move, giving instructions Jimin can’t hear, but he knows exactly what’s been said when Jungkook’s whipping around to look at the trees.
Interestingly, the wolf hesitates, moving forward before stopping to looking over his shoulder. It’s only a moment, but it’s enough for Hoseok to point out at the forest urgently as he blocks another curse. Jimin can read Hoseok’s lips clearly then as the older boy calls out to Jungkook.
Jimin will die if you don’t go.
The chill that runs down Jimin’s spine at that moment, an omen playing a cruel joke on him, only worsens when he realizes that he’s stopped being able to hear Y/n’s pained gasps. A low whine rings out behind him, and it’s with bated breath that Jimin’s turning slowly on his heels.
Towering over him with an icy gaze locked on him is Y/n -- rather, it’s the part of Y/n that has no idea who he is in that moment. The eyes that see him only see through him, completely empty of anything that isn’t primal. Where Jungkook’s eyes are still his own even in a wolf’s body, these eyes don’t recognize him, and Jimin knows that fact alone will haunt him forever.
Yet, he isn’t afraid of her. He’s only afraid for her -- for the way she’s still curled in on herself, still in pain. He’s afraid for the way she blinks, thoughts muddled and lost, struggling to find herself in the darkness of her mind. He’s especially afraid for the way she finally gives in, losing her will to fight for herself. Her pupils shrink and grow until she’s focusing in on him, and Jimin knows by the way she tilts her head curiously at him that he’s got her attention -- and that’s never good.
When she takes a step toward him, he mirrors it with a step back, and that alone seems to set her off. She moves suddenly, closing the distance between them easily. She leans down until her snout is pushed close to his nose, snarling at him as he stays frozen where he stands. When she raises one clawed hand, he barely has time for a final thought before she’s swinging down at him.
Well, shit.
Suddenly, Jimin’s flying through the air and crashing to the ground a few feet away, rolling to a stop at the base of a tree with a groan -- but he’s in one piece. Lifting his head, he finds that he hadn’t been sliced to pieces by his own girlfriend. He’d been shoved out of the way by a wolf twice his size, the wolf in question now standing where he had just been.
Jungkook’s got his teeth latched around Y/n’s wrist, growling loudly to keep her attention on him. They stand there a few moments, eyes locked in a tense stare-down of dominance. Y/n eventually raises her other hand, claws gleaming in the moonlight, but Jungkook only growls again, a warning. It stops her, as if recognizing this moment, and, although she seems enraged by the display, she lowers her hand anyway.
Ripping her other, trapped, wrist from Jungkook’s jaws, she lets out her own snarl and steps toward him, and Jimin thinks these two might really tear each other apart. But Jungkook’s been here countless times, and he’s still of clear mind, so he knows exactly what to do.
Crouching quickly, he snaps his teeth at her ankles, sending her backwards. She roars angrily, but he persists, snapping at her feet again and again until she’s finally scurrying off into the forest with a cry of outrage. Jungkook watches her go before rushing to Jimin, startling the boy out of his shock.
The wolf sniffs at the air around Jimin, knocking him around with his massive head as he pushes his snout into Jimin’s torso, checking for injuries. Jimin’s lost for a moment, wondering exactly why Jungkook’s expressing so much concern when Y/n should be his priority, but then he remembers exactly what it would mean if he had been caught by one of Y/n’s claws.
Once Jungkook’s done checking that Jimin won’t be turning into a werewolf anytime soon, he’s gone, disappearing after his sister. Jimin only sits there, bruised and battered but alive all the same. Then he hears someone yelling Taehyung’s name in the distance, and he’s on his feet.
Rushing out to the field, he stops at the top of the hill, his breath catching in his throat when he sees the scene down below. His friends are still surrounded, and, although the number of Death Eaters has been severely reduced thanks to the merciless animagus running around, there’s still too many of them. But before he can rush to help, something happens, all too fast to process -- and Jimin has the displeasure of witnessing everything from that hill.
Down in the circle, the rest of the group is fighting for their lives. Many of the boys have sustained injuries simply from their own shields exploding too close to them -- pieces of the ground and debris from the house are thrown around, catching on their bodies in surface wounds they won’t even notice until the next morning.
There’s a special kind of desperation spilling off of Namjoon and Taehyung -- the only muggleborns in that circle -- and it’s making one of them reckless. Namjoon’s keeping his cool, as he’s been in the Order for months now and has had the battle training, but Jin’s having to compensate for small mistakes Taehyung is making out of fear. The Gryffindor’s only a boy, a boy targeted simply for being born. This is the first time he’s ever been faced with his own reality, and he’s terrified.
So when he slips on a piece of rubble at his feet, the only thing that keeps him alive is the fact that he’d moved his head a quarter of an inch to the left just in time. The killing curse flies past him and through the circle, passing Yoongi on the right and hitting a mark just past him -- that mark is the Death Eater that Yoongi had been battling all night.
The boy crumples instantly, the light in his eyes gone. Yoongi watches as he goes, his mind blank as the body crashes to the ground. And then he’s turning on his heel, everything slowed and muffled around him. The Death Eaters have all stopped, equally shocked from what’s just occurred -- after all, they’re just boys, too.
Yoongi hears Jin yelling Taehyung’s name, and he sees Hoseok rushing for him. He watches as Namjoon starts to run to Tae and then stop, raising his wand and choosing to keep guard instead, realizing that their fight isn’t over. Yoongi watches all of it with wide eyes, thinking then that this scene would be very different had the curse hit Taehyung as intended. He spins, staring down at the dead body below him, thinking that this is what Taehyung would have been. This lifeless, empty corpse. And that’s just too much for someone like Yoongi to deal with.
In that moment, the strength of the silent marksman is broken, shattered from within as he fights no longer to protect his own life but those of his friends. In that moment, he proves to be much more worthy than he’d ever thought himself before, breaking through that perpetual tendency to hide himself away — but it comes at a price. Because it’s in that moment that Min Yoongi, for all that he’d tried to free himself of that cursed name, finally gives in to the bloodline he’d spent his whole life denying.
“Protego diabolica!” The spell is cast like the roar of a dragon awakened, enraged -- the first time he’s spoken an incantation in years. It’s ripped from his lungs against his will, uttered with nothing but the urge to destroy, the need to bring pain down on his enemies so that they may never hurt his family again. That dark magic — so forbidden, so evil — follows the command of his left arm, quite literally brought to life by the malice in his eyes and the sweeping of his hand in an arc around himself. And for the first time in the 7 years Jimin had known the shy, self-loathing Slytherin — so guarded from the vulnerabilities of life — he watches from that hill as Yoongi loses control.
The fire that flows out of his hand like water -- icy and unforgiving -- spreads out around Yoongi like a wall of pitch black rage. It passes right over his friends -- they flinch at the foreign magic and its caster, who seems equally foreign to them now. They watch with awe as Yoongi commands the fire, forming a protective circle around them with ease. It almost seems to feed off of his rage, growing with every breath he takes and shrinking with the fall of his chest. He is a snake no more -- a dragon birthed of fire and blood stands in his place.
Jimin watches in pained silence as one of his closest friends loses himself to the war -- but even now, he can still see that Yoongi’s still there. And it’s Yoongi that will have to deal with consequences later, but right now he’s doing whatever it takes to save them. And that includes exploding with anger the moment he spots Jimin still up on that hill.
“Get your ass in here!” The ring of fire seems to swell with his outrage, and Jimin is in no place to refuse. The Death Eaters are still shocked and disoriented by the wall of fire they’re now faced with, and Jimin uses that to his advantage. Racing down the hill, he leaps into the circle, the cold flames licking at his ankles as they let him pass, recognizing him as a friend to their master.
Having seen Jimin’s success at passing through the ring, two of the Death Eaters rush at the wall, unaware of the nature of this dark magic. The moment they make contact with it, the fire senses their intentions, reacting accordingly. Jimin watches as they dissolve into nothing, shrieks of pain ringing out into the air as the fire consumes them. When he turns, he sees that Yoongi is shaken by this, his eyes conflicted as he watches two of his classmates cease to exist, remembering exactly what kind of magic he’s just brought into the world.
But when one of the last Death Eaters attempts to cast another killing curse into the circle, hoping to get through, the fire seems to act not on Yoongi’s command but on his instinct -- and his instinct is to block it. The flames explode outward, concentrating into a wall of protection and destroying the curse. And then they reach further, snaking out to overpower the boy who’d cast the spell, consuming him and his plea for mercy.
There’s only one Death Eater left, standing just outside the circle. Yoongi locks eyes with him, sees the trembling boy staring back at him with fear. They see each other, remembering simultaneously all the times they’d eaten together at mealtimes and suffered together during exam season. They’d grown up together. Just how they’d ended up here, neither of them can recall in that moment, and it destroys whatever innocence they’d had left.
Yoongi finally looks out to the field, his eyes flicking quickly before returning to the Death Eater. The boy hesitates, eventually stepping back. After another moment, he turns, running for his life and never looking back.
When he’s gone, the ring of fire fades, the wall tumbling down until all that’s left is a ring of earth around them that’s been burned to a crisp. Yoongi crumbles then, falling to his knees and staring at nothing. Jimin and Hoseok rush to him, eyes scanning him in concern. They all remain silent, words unable to express what any of them are feeling. Finally, Yoongi lifts his head, still unable to lock eyes with anyone.
“Is everyone okay?” They don’t answer his question, Jin only scoffing in shell-shocked disbelief.
“Are you okay?” Yoongi looks at his best friend, and he knows Jin can see right through him. They all can. He doesn’t respond, and they fall to silence again. Surrounded by bodies and destruction, unable to comprehend what’s happened. Unable to fathom how inexplicably broken they’ve become.
Just when they’re ready to face each other -- when they’re ready to face the aftermath of this night together -- a howl rings out from the forest, pained and haunting. They all lift their heads to stare in exhaustion at the treeline, outlined perfectly by the light of a moon that isn’t full. Yoongi chuckles darkly, shaking his head as he rises slowly to his feet and dusts off his pants before turning to look at what's left of his home with a long sigh.
“This family’s a fucking mess.”
143 notes · View notes
btsqualityy · 3 years
Text
Assuage: Chapter 8
Yoongi x Reader
Genre: ABO (Alpha/Beta/Omega) dynamics, angst, fluff, smut, enemies to lovers
Warnings: Brief mention of a miscarriage (nothing detailed or graphic, though)
Tumblr media
“You’re looking good Hyo,” you muttered as you ran the ultrasound wand over Hyorin’s baby bump. Since Hyorin was only a few weeks out from delivery, you had been having doctor’s appointments with her more and more lately.
“The heartbeat?” She questioned softly and you smiled as you reached over and pressed a button on the ultrasound machine, a loud whooshing sound filling the room moments later.
“130 beats per minute,” you smiled as you looked up at her. “You’re fine and they’re fine.”
“Good,” she sighed in relief. “I’m just so close to the finish line, I don’t want anything to happen.”
“Hey, we talked about this,” you said as you set the ultrasound wand aside, handing Hyorin a few sheets of paper towel to wipe the gel off of her stomach. “Just because you miscarried last year, that doesn’t mean that you can’t go on to have completely healthy pregnancies.”
“I know, I’ll just feel so bad if I can’t give Joon the family that he wants,” she huffed, grabbing onto your hand and sitting up straight. 
“I told you before, screw my brother,” you smiled, making Hyorin giggle. “He’d love you even if you two never had pups so you don’t need to worry about disappointing him.”
“You’re right,” Hyorin smiled. “But speaking of love, what’s going on with you and the lone wolf?”
“Nothing,” you shrugged as you cleaned off the wand, setting it back into its’ holder next to the machine. 
“With all of the time that you two have been spending together since the full moon party, I know you don’t expect me to actually believe that,” Hyorin snickered. 
“It’s only been a week,” you chuckled.
“And you two have eaten at least one meal together every day in that week,” she shot back.
“How did you know that?”
“Tae told me,” she shrugged. 
“Well, you can tell Tae that we aren’t like that,” you told her. “He’s cool and all, and we do get along better than we did when he first got here but that’s all there is to it. It’s only friendship.”
“If it means anything to you, Joon told me that Yoongi has been settling into the pack seamlessly and that you two would be a good match,” Hyorin revealed. “Especially given your position within the pack and him being Prime.”
“Hyo, when have I ever cared about either of my brother’s opinions?” You wondered and she just shook her head as she laughed.
“Never.”
“Exactly, so I’m not about to start now,” you smiled. 
“Alright alright, I’m not gonna badger you about it like I know Taehyung does,” Hyorin said as she held her hands up in mock surrender. “I just want you to be happy Y/N-ah.”
“I am,” you assured her. “I don’t need an Alpha to make me happy though.”
“No I know, but it’s more than that,” she sighed. “Having someone to love, it’s an amazing feeling. Joon and I have it, Tae and Kook have it, hell even Jimin and Hobi have it so I want you to have it too.”
“And I will, but I’m not gonna rush it,” you replied.
“Alright,” she relented. “Do you wanna come back to our cabin and look at some of the baby clothes that the elders gave me?”
“Sure, I don’t have any other patients schdeuled today,” you nodded with a smile. After telling the receptionist where you would be in case of an emergency, you left the infirmary with Hyorin. However, you didn’t make it far before you were stopped in your tracks.
“Hello Y/N-ah,” Sehun, an Alpha, greeted you, turning towards Hyorin afterwards. “Hello Pack Omega.”
“Hello,” Hyorin smiled.
“Hi,” you said slowly.
“How has your day been going?” Sehun asked you.
“Good,” you nodded. “Is there something that I can help you with?”
“Well, as I’m sure you know, I work in agriculture,” he began. “Growing crops and things of that sort. Well, I wanted to offer you a gift even though you probably have gotten better offers from others.”
“Oh, I don’t think,-” you started to say but you were cut off by Sehun extending his hands to you, a small bracelet sat in his palms. The bracelet was made with blue beads (your favorite color) and white thread, with small pictures of ocean waves craved into the beads.
“Oh, that’s stunning,” Hyorin whispered as she leaned over to get a better look.
“Y/N-ah?” Sehun called and you reached out to touch the bracelet, marveling at how well made it seemed to be.
“It is very nice,” you admitted and Sehun let out a breath of relief. Before you even knew what was happening, Sehun slid the bracelet onto your right wrist. 
“I hope you’ll be able to keep it safe for me,” he smiled. “Have a good rest of your day.” He then turned around and walked away, all while you were still in shock at what he had just done.
“Well, that was bold,” Hyorin noted. 
“It’s pretty but just sliding it onto my wrist without even asking for express permission first,” you scoffed, reaching down and pulling the bracelet off and sliding it into your pocket. “That’s the type of shit I hate.”
“Yeah, like that’s the only reason,” she muttered.
“What?”
“Nothing,” Hyorin smiled, reaching out and looping her arm around yours. “Come on, let’s go.”
.....................................
Once you and Hyorin made it to her and Namjoon’s cabin and walked inside, you both were immediately greeted with the sound of loud arguing.
“I really think having the crib below the window is the better idea,” Namjoon stated firmly.
“Spoken just like a pup who knows nothing about decorating,” Kibum muttered.
“I’m not a pup!” Namjoon shot back.
“What is going on in here?” Hyorin chuckled as the both of you stood in the doorway of what was slowly becoming the nursery. Namjoon, Kibum, and Yoongi all looked towards the doorway, and you couldn’t help but to notice the smell of irritation in their scents.
“Baby,” Namjoon whined as he walked over towards the door. “Kibum won’t listen to me and put the crib where I want him to.”
“The only reason I even asked you was because I thought you’d have more sense,” Kibum interjected before looking at Hyorin. “He wants to put the crib underneath the window.”
“What?” Hyorin said as she looked up at Namjoon. “Why?”
“I was thinking that some sunlight would be good for them,” Namjoon shrugged.
“Oh baby, your heart’s in the right place but it’s not a good idea,” she giggled. “Even though you built this house good, it’s still noticeably colder by the window than anywhere else in this room. We should put it against the wall by the door, that way it’ll be easier for us to hear them.”
“That’s exactly what I was thinking,” Kibum smiled triumphantly.
“But for some reason, it sounded so much better coming from my mate,” Namjoon glared at him, and Kibum just rolled his eyes in response before turning to look at Yoongi. 
“Can you move the crib while I go get the rattle and stuff?” He asked and Yoongi nodded his head.
“Yeah, go ahead,” Yoongi replied. As Kibum walked out of the room, you turned your head and saw Namjoon already looking at you. 
“How’d the appointment go?” He asked you.
“Everything looks good,” you smiled. “Strong heartbeat and everything’s right on schedule.”
“Great,” he grinned widely. “Baby, one of the elders heard about your craving for chicken soup and brought some over.”
“Yes!” Hyorin whispered excitedly, reaching down and grabbing Namjoon’s hand. “Let’s go get some.”
“Why do I have to,-” Namjoon started to ask but Hyorin just pulled him behind her out of the room, and you rolled your eyes at how non-subtle she was being. 
“Hey Yoongi,” you greeted him and he looked up at you as he moved the crib, nodding his head at you once before looking down again. 
“Ok,” you said slowly, not really liking the fact that he didn’t verbally reply to you. “How’s your day been?” You waited until Yoongi had pushed the crib against the wall that Hyorin said, turning around to face you and only giving you a shrug in response. 
“Oh, well the crib turned out nice,” you tried to compliment but when he only gave you another small shrug, you snapped. “Damn, what the hell did I do to you for you to go back to being a complete dickhead?”
“....Nothing,” he muttered and you rolled your eyes.
“Bullshit. I thought we were cool now,” you said. 
“We are.”
“Then why aren’t you acting like it?” You questioned.
“It’s....your scent,” he started.
“My scent?” You repeated with wide eyes. “I thought you liked my scent.”
“I do...when it smells like you,” he replied. 
“Huh?” You wondered, completely confused as to what he was getting at. 
“You smell like another Alpha,” he admitted, and your eyes widened in realization. “And it’s bothering me.”
“Oh, it must be Sehun’s scent from the bracelet,” you murmured, moreso to yourself but Yoongi heard you.
“Bracelet? What bracelet?” He asked.
“On our way over here, Sehun stopped Hyo and I and tried to offer me a gift, which was a bracelet,” you explained. “I didn’t even accept it though, he just slid it onto my wrist with no warning and he must’ve touched my scent gland when he did.”
“So you didn’t accept it?” Yoongi checked and you shook your head, holding up your wrists for him to see. 
“I told you, I rarely accept gifts,” you joked, making him smile lightly. “I didn’t even notice that his scent was on me though. I feel a little creeped out if I’m being honest.”
“Can I....scent you, then?” Yoongi wondered and your eyebrows rose in surprise.
“You want to?” You wondered.
“To help you get the scent off, yeah,” he nodded 
“Are you helping me, or you?” You teased him as you held your wrist out to him.
“Both, if I’m honest,” he chuckled, taking ahold of your wrist in both of his hands and rubbing the pads of his thumbs against your scent gland that sat right beneath your palm. His familiar scent of freshwater wafted over you and with him purposefully scenting you, you even smelt undertones of citrus and mango. 
“Better?” He checked, noticing how you had relaxed.
“Better,” you nodded. “Your scent’s nice. I’ve never smelled mangos on an Alpha before.”
“Well, I’m not just any Alpha,” he smirked, yelping when you reached out and smacked him lightly on the arm. The two of you continued to stand there together, Yoongi still scenting your wrist and you knew that Sehun’s scent was more than gone by now and that you were probably drowning in Yoongi’s scent now but you found that you didn’t really care. In fact, you kind of liked the thought of that.
“Hey!” Hyorin’s voice rung out, making you jump up slightly. “I can smell you both from the kitchen! Get out of my baby’s room with your scents! The only scents I want in there are mine and Joon’s!”
“Sorry!” You yelled back, smiling when you heard Yoongi laughing. “Well, you heard her.”
“I have to get back to the hardware shop anyways,” he said. “Can I see you later?”
“Yeah,” you nodded, a large grin on your face. “You definitely can.”
.....................................
Tag List:  @jikook-enthusiasts​ @veryuniquenamegoeshere​
233 notes · View notes
ktheist · 4 years
Text
2 | exclusives only.
Tumblr media
final installment to the to my dear friend series.
prompt.“don’t confuse your party friends with your real friends.” (x)
muses. jungkook x reader
genre. university au. fwb. f2l.
words. 8.9k
first installment. friend in me.
warnings. implied smut, mentions of name calling
synopsis. the goody-two-shoes. the girl who always sits in one of the front rows in class. that girl that has literal models as friends while she comes to classes in sweats.
you identify with all of these.
but what you don’t ever want to be known as, is that freaky girl who had sex at a semi-public place, in the back room of the student lounge with the most drool-worthy man at the faculty.
and that’s exactly what kim namjoon, your ex-boyfriend, manifested when he publicly announced to everyone from your faculty of your oh-so-sweet time together, “come on, ___, everyone wants to know if you begged me to be your first and how we fucked in the back room of the student lounge.”
x
the moment jeon jungkook’s name which you have saved as koo, flashes across the screen - time stops. so does your heart as you meet taehyung’s eyes which were just fixed on your phone before you flip it over and press the stickers engraved case with the your hand as though afraid he might be able to see through the aluminum and read the text jungkook sent you.
which is just-
koo: heyy
“um, excuse me,” jisoo, having been more focused on the group you lowly pointed out to be stealing glances your way and unlike you, she’s in the middle of raising her hand with an index finger pointing upwards, deep maroon lips pursed in annoyance as the group begins to whisper amongst them and looking back at your table as though in disbelief that someone would actually call them out, “yes, you guys - especially the girl with the fake channel jacket - ever heard of minding your damn business?”
“jisoo,” you hiss, yanking her hand back down and slamming it against the table, “i don’t care, they can say whatever they-“
“at least have the decency to be original if you wanna shit talk someone,” lisa speaks over you, as though she can’t hear your protest.
“taehyung, stop them,” you lean over the table in a hushed whisper, catching the man’s blank gaze whilst he slurps on his smoothie as though he sees nothing wrong with the whole setting. and it’s definitely not the nasty bruise around his eyes that’s impairing his vision - nor judgement for that matter.
“what?” he chirps, willfully unaware of the tension in the air.
“oh god,” you finally slump into your seat, head lowered in an attempt to let your tresses fall over your face and cover it as you pretend to rub the temple of your head, hoping - wishing a hole would open and up and swallow you right here and now.
hurried footsteps of the group trying to pretend like they’re not in a rush pass behind you. words like, “rude much?”, “ugh, we don’t even care”, “attention whore.” among other things echoing in murmurs into the air before the tranquil blanket of silence settles back over the vicinity.
lisa’s glare of death takes on a much cheerful light as she grins at the older girl as they high five over the table.
“guys, thanks but you didn’t have to do that,” is the first thing you say after you lift your head, a half-hearted smile on your lips, “i don’t really care and quite honestly they have every right to be here as much as we do.”
“sweetie, the fact that you were laughing with us just a minute ago and stopped all of a sudden means you do care,” jisoo says pointedly, deep maroon lips pursed together in a ‘don’t lie to me’ manner and once she sees your lips clamping together and possibly said lie getting swallowed into your throat, she continues, “- and that’s completely valid. they should’ve know to keep their mouths shut if they wanna eat here too.”
“okay, maybe i do care but i can’t stop them from stealing glances or pointing me out to anyone who doesn’t know me or doesn’t know how i look which i’m sure is just meh,” before lisa could interject, you hold up a finger, “i know i can look pretty at times,” you offer an assuring smile before sighing at your next words, “but honestly, at this point, i can literally hear the ‘that’s the girl that tricked namjoon into dating her last year’ everywhere i go and i’m kind of used it.”
“but you didn’t trick him and he started it first,” taehyung doesn’t exactly slam the cup onto the table but he doesn’t gently set it down either and the sound is audible enough the little corner you’ve booked for yourselves.
“does it matter? that’s what word has it around here anyway,” shrugging, you take a spoonful of the vanilla ice cream into your mouth.
“it sucks,” jimin, ever the listener and the one person who’s never put his phone down until now, finally speaks the word of the day - not a particularly profound one but they fit the situation, “but i mean, this’ll all blow over in a month.”
almost as though they share the same wavelength, lisa and jisoo begin grumbling out protests
“ugh, jimin.” lisa narrows her eyes at him, face contorted in disgust while jisoo gasps, wide-eyed, “park jimin, i raised you better than this.”
“what?” the man in question - questions, crescent eyes turning into a pair of full moons, shining with utter confusion as he looks he repeats the same word over an over again with increasing remorse, “no- seriously, what did i say?”
“it’s easy for you,” jeongyeon chirps from next to you, perfect nude acrylics gleaming mutedly as she holds a fry she stole from his plate in the air, “you’re a guy,” and only then she pops the fry into her mouth.
“where did she come from?” a frown etches itself onto taehyung’s face as he stares at the newcomer as though she grew another head.
“unless jeongyeon has witchery powers then my best bet is through the door,” shrugging, you pick up the vapor dotted cup, the sound of ice clicking against each other as you twirl the straw around gets drowned by the series of agreement from the two girls.
“what does that even mean?” with hair mussed from and eyes almost as wide as a mad man in search for the truth - the only thing he’s missing is an overgrown unkept beard - jimin’s raised voice brings you back to the issue at hand, spurred by jeongyeon’s ominously vague prophecy.
“it means,” you set the cup down after sipping on the chocolatey goodness , “guys get worshipped like some sex god when their body counts get exposed and people will be lining up to get laid by him but when it’s a girl who gets her, for once, healthy sex life and keeps to one partner like me gets ‘exposed,’” hands raised, you curl your index and middle fingers inwards in an indicative nature, “let’s just say it doesn’t really help me climb up the social ladder.” 
shrugging, you continue, “like yeah, maybe it’ll blow over like you said and our friends probably don’t care - they’re treating me the same but i can see our mutual friends becoming distant even though they don’t show but just this morning i went up to jennie kim was the to ask about the thing we have to do for a group project and i can kinda see it in her eyes. she sees me as that girl who begged kim namjoon to have sex with her, dumped him and got with the next cute guy of the century. and that impression of me is always gonna keep lurking in the back of everyone’s minds whether they do it consciously or not.”
a pause lapses in between you, not quite as profound as jimin’s jaw-drop is making it to be but maybe it is for him. the others continue to munch on their fries and jeongyeon just stole jimin’s drink, opened the cap and took a sip instead of using the straw, murmuring something about not taking any chances because ‘don’t know where his mouth’s been.’
it’s several heartbeats until jimin recovers from the load of information before he lets out an-
“oh.”
“yeah,” lisa nods, shooting him a ‘now you know’ look before turning to you with a pointed expression as though she’s ready to move on to a more pressing topic which was absurd because what else could be more pressing than your mid college term crisis-
“and you should say what you said just now to jungkook instead of ghosting him” 
-except the fact that you thought you were subtle enough in flipping your phone’s screen upside down and pretending like you were listening to whatever whoever was speaking.
all of a sudden, the heat of five pairs of eyes are on you. but those who are truly stricken by the news are jimin and jeongyeon, the latter’s gaze being unavoidable because she’s sitting smack dab right next to you, “wait,” a tense pause wedges its way in the miniature space between you and her, “you’re ghosting jeon jungkook?”
“i-i just-“ there’s something in the way her tone rises at his name and the sheer absurdity of it all that makes your heart wrench in guilt and discomfort, “i’m not gonna ghost him for forever-“
“you should though.” taehyung waves a fry in your face before popping it into his mouth.
“-i just need time to like, process everything. i mean, it happened just yesterday,” by the end of your attempt to explain yourself, you can feel your shoulder line falling as you sigh, back leaned against the chair, the fries no longer looking appetizing.
“it’s partly his fault for flaunting out your sex lives to the entire world,” taehyung points out.
“shut it, tae,” jisoo hisses before turning to you, “take all the time you need, sweetie,” she rests her cheek on your shoulder as she side hugs you, probably finally comprehending the level of confusion and frustration all at once that forbids you from texting jungkook back the moment he texted you which was just minutes after the car disappears around the intersection and his figure disappear from sight last night.
the moment jeongyeon stepped through the crowd and stopped next to you with the clack of her boots and the sheer ‘oh honey, you’re not ready for that talk,’ nature, you decided right then and there, if jeongyeon asked you to shave off your hair and hand it over in a tray, you would in a heartbeat.
“since ____ didn’t wanna say anything, i figured she did get you to sleep with her but felt bad about it,” the hand she kept tucked under her arm falls away to reveal the hundred bucks she’s holding in your face.
by then, you had a hunch of what she was planning in that wonderful head of hers but the weight of the tens of pairs of eyes had made you wary. it was jeongyeon’s plan, all you had to do was just run with it, not run it.
wordlessly, you took the folded note, smoothed the cripple out of it as best as you could before folding it in two and tucking it into your bra. the bouts of gasps that broke out was what gave you the push to meet namjoon’s gaze with a blank one and shrug, “what? i went through all the trouble to get you to sleep with me and put up with dating you for six months - i should at least get my pay,” murmurs echo through out the room as well as several ‘ooh’s at the revelation.
the man’s face had turned several shades darker. eyes trained on you like you were all he sees. like a predator to his prey. once upon a time, you might have found the way he was so rapt with something heartfluttering - attractive even as you sat at the bleachers, cheering on your secret boyfriend whilst he instructed his team through the mic. circuit breaker had never came out anything but victorious when kim namjoon was that focused. 
if only looks could kill, you’d be dead. 
“that’s right, it was just a bet we made in first year,” jeongyeon’s tilted crimson smirk had been tucked with something like wicked humor as her shoulder line jolted with her laughter.
first year, you were that lost kid who bent over backwards to be everyone’s friends and ended with none. namjoon knew that, like how he knew this was all a lie and yet perhaps that was why you could almost picture the brood of clouds looming over his head. the same look that would settle over his face as he shifted through courses of action to take for that one possible outcome that lead to circuit breaker’s victory.
your heartbeat stuttered when he began to stand straighter, arms crossed over muscled chest. his naturally tall stature had allowed him to look down on you like gum under his shoe, “quite pathetic that she had to beg to win a bet.”
the ground opening up and swallowing you whole right then and there had remained but a wishful thinking. the seconds seemed to stretch on for hours on end with gazes burning right through your skull. you could almost hear the ghostly whispers of “oh my god,” “who does she think she is?” “what a slut.”
“wasn’t that like a year ago?” somewhere from your other side, a snicker hit the air like a mockery and a hand wrapped around your waist, pulling you into a familiar scent of lemongrass and musk. how your own arm went around his to side hug his waist had been a surprise to you too, the action was as natural as breathing.
“i mean,” jungkook drawled with a shrug, “kinda sad that you’re still hung up over a girl but i get it - i know how amazing ____ is,” with a slight lean towards the older man, the low murmur couldn’t have been any louder, “we did it on the side of the street once,” a gasp from the ever loyal audience, “the balcony,” another gasp, “under a bridge,” there isn’t any more gasps - the audience must have ran out of responses, “in the changing room,” just when you thought he was going to spell out every single spot you had sex at on the list, jungkook finally laughed, “honestly any place you can think of - but yeah, keep dreaming about the back room of the student lounge cause that’s probably the most adventurous a dude like you would ever be.”
the shock painted over jimin’s jaw drop, jisoo’s eyes glancing from left to right, jeongyeon’s pursed lips and muted whistle didn’t exactly go past you. but you were more focused on the way the man in front of you, the one you thought you gave everything to, was the one speechless between the two of you.
the smile you wore was a lazy one but the words you threw back at him didn’t bloom in your chest with satisfaction of retribution the way you thought they would, “get over it, namjoon.”
in hindsight, you should’ve known it would come back and bite your ass. but you didn’t think the reaction would be this immediate. by monday morning, you were already getting strange looks and one not-so-pleasant experience of hearing snide laughter as you passed a group of students with the faintest but clearest, “what a whore.”
by noon, your reputation was pretty much set in stones - though your closest friend circle tried to convince you that it wasn’t as bad as it seems. that was, until another group of students walked into the cafe and most of them kept glancing at you like you’re some wild animal in a zoo.
“oh!” you could almost see a light bulb going off on jeongyeon’s head - as though a thought just crossed her, “i forgot what i came here for but anyway, i got tea!”
“girl,” lisa raises her brows with an obvious ‘what-are-you-waiting-for’ smile, “spill.”
and from the way way everyone else is quiet but focused on the woman, including you, it’s safe to say lisa’s words spoke for all of you. knowing that she holds the sole attention of the people at the table, jeongyeon smirks playfully, “guess what?”
“what?” taehyung says plainly.
“you’re supposed to guess, idiot,” she rolls her eyes but recovers from the brunette’s lack of effort as she basically bounces in her seat like a ball of excitement, “kim namjoon got kicked out of circuit breaker! the dean himself had a ‘little word’ with him. just. now.”
it would have come off as a pleasant news - cheer-worthy even. if not for one simple fact: that the dean is none other than jimin’s mother.
“oh my fucking god, yes!” lisa yelps, while jisoo extends her arms across the aforementioned woman to reach for the giggling man on her other side, “come here, let me hug you park jimin!” since it’s a round table, it makes the notion of hugs more plausible but since lisa is sitting between them, she ends up sandwiched with jisoo’s arms around her and jimin leaning into her in order to let the rest of jisoo’s arms encase around his neck.
“to be fair, he got kicked out because he and tae got in a fight,” the bleach blond man chuckles, “so tae’s punishment is being professor yoon’s unpaid assistant.” the position doesn’t seem ideal but the three doesn’t seem to mind - they look like they enjoy it.
“it was worth it,” taehyung shrugs when he catches your eyes, knowing full well the wave of guilt that rushes through you so instead, you mouth him a ‘i owe you one.’
by the time lunch ends (for you and jimin at least since the others seem to have another free hour before their classes start), you find yourself taking up jimin’s offer to sit with him at the back instead of the fifth row from the front that was just perfect for a not-so-serious-but-not-so-laxed-student vibe. 
“hey, jimin - thanks,” you say in between the class filling up and him texting someone on his phone which he puts down on the table after your words of gratitude fill the air, “for talking to your mom for me.”
“that’s the least i can do,” he fixes you with a half-hearted smile - probably wishing he’d be able to throw a punch where it was needed but you know park jimin wouldn’t be park jimin if he wasn’t this adorable, good natured person with the kindest heart that could barely hurt a fly let alone a person. even if that person is a douchebag like namjoon, “‘sides, mom’s always preaching about equality for both genders and kim basically sexually harassed you, i’m sorry i couldn’t stand up for you like tae-“
“no, don’t say that,” you frown, hands tugging on his biceps. slipping your around the aforementioned biceps, you rest your head on his shoulder, feeling the rising tension of your pursed lips, “everyone has their own friendship language - and finding a peaceful way to get back to someone who hurt your friend, is yours. so thank you for being you,” you pause just for the briefest moment when you accidentally meet the eyes of one of your friends - the flash in their eyes projecting their not-so-friendly thoughts at the sight of you, “thanks for being my friend, jimin.”
 something soft bumps the top of your head as you feel his neck crane briefly, “thanks for being my friend too- jisoo would beat your ass for saying this though.”
at the mention of the spirited friend of yours, you both break out into fits of giggles. “jisoo would probably buy chicken tie my to a chair while dangling a drumstick until i promise to stop saying ‘weird things.’”
by ‘weird things’ it meant thanking them or even projecting any form of gratitude which shouldn’t even be a thing to be grateful for because, as she would aggressively yet lovingly insist, and as jimin acts out, “she’d probably be ‘it’s obvious we’d be friends because you’re the baddest bitch - girl, you’re that bitch.’”
it’s even funnier when he tries to mimic her way of speech and tone. for a moment, as you continue to narrate what your two other best friends would have done in the setting, both of you laughing into each other’s faces, the watchful eyes don’t seem all that intimidating.
x
throughout the evening, you spend it with your friends. watching movies and sleeping over at jimin’s - since he’s the only one who owns an apartment and doesn’t have a cranky roommate, going to class with yesterday’s jeans and jimin’s stolen hoodies to which he looked slightly perturbed at the realization that that’s three hoodies he probably wouldn’t get back even though you promised to wash it and give it back. but he the matter seems to fly out the window once you stopped by mcdonald’s for breakfast.
you may or may not have neglected pending projects group work but your friends didn’t seem to care -jisoo and jimin were rushing to group meetings this morning but after lisa’s five minute therapy-esque session for you to stop apologizing for inconveniencing them when you thought they must have (they did) pushed back on a lot of plans just to spend time with you and make sure you’re okay, you’d finally turned the ‘sorry’s to ‘thank you’s.
it was some time when you were walking to a class you shared with taehyung, that his looming frame easily catches what exactly you’re doing on your phone and begrudgingly points out, “ugh, you’re still texting him? after promising you’ll choose yourself first?”
to be fair, it was a short and sweet text saying ‘hey, i’m fine. sorry i didn’t reply to your texts, just have a lot going on atm’ without any emojis but also no period at the end because you didn’t want to seem like you’re mad. but besides that, you’re not entirely sure what exactly you feel for jungkook because like taehyung said-
“he‘s a different kind of asshole,” his tone was light but if there’s anything a whole year of knowing kim taehyung did, it was catching onto the way his voice strains and his avoidance to look at you as he speaks, “does he even know what he did to you? what you’re going through right now?”
it was true that the after effect of jungkook listing out the places you both had sex at has finally come to bite you in the ass. but-
“nobody would’ve thought the things jungkook said would backfire like this,” and yet you tug on the sleeves of jimin’s hoodie, voice small.
the man’s abrupt stop forces you to stop too, leaving you no choice but to meet his frowning face, “everyone knows what stuff like that’ll do more to girls than guys.”
it’s the pause that you took. the hesitance that taehyung must’ve seen shining brighter than your reputation allows it.
“you know what- do whatever you want,” and with that he leaves you on the side of the corridor to stare at his broad back as he walks away.
there’s no way you’ll go up and sit with him at the back like you did with jimin. but it wasn’t the empty spots next to you that made your heart clench - it was the way he deliberately turned away from you when your eyes met as you entered and he took a seat.
it’s some time after the professor left the class, whilst your phone vibrates rapidly with onslaught of messages, do you finally pick it up with one goal in mind.
koo: oh okay
koo: hope you’re doing okay
koo: i’m here if you wanna talk
he hasn’t finished typing when you tap out a simple ‘sorry’ and switching to-
you: thank you really but i think it’s better if we don’t text anymore
only to see another blue bubble pop on the screen at the same time as yours.
koo: i miss you
x
by the end of the very, very, very long day, you’re finally able to throw yourself onto your soft plush bedsheets. your friends don’t know that taehyung’s mad at you and isn’t talking to you - his sporadic off-days being the reason for them to assume that this is one of those days.
and they didn’t really push you to talk either, choosing to give you space after they robbed you off yours by kidnapping you to have a best friend’s night last night.
much to your dismay, not even five minutes into melting into the comforts of your bed, your stomach starts growling like a wild animal that hasn’t been fed in weeks. despite distantly remembering finishing the last pack of ramen last week, you still drag your feet to the kitchen in search for a instant noodles that, after opening the cupboard, you confirm, isn’t there.
and that’s how you end up trudging down the streets with flip flops and hair poking underneath the hood of jimin’s hoodie. a surge of gratification shoots through your veins when you see the last cup of your favorite spicy ramen on the shelf. not bothering to go back, you take a seat at one of the high stools facing the wall-sized window after paying for it.
it takes a few texts and scrolling through instagram before the ramen is ready. but it’s jeongyeon’s panic-induced tone that takes up most of your time.
jeongyeon: ok so ik you’re gonna be mad at me but pls don’t be 
you: what issit tho 
jeongyeon: you gotta promise 🤙
with a growl of your stomach demanding to be fed, you place your phone down with a misspelled loophole ‘yea i pro mizz 🤙🤙🤙’
and if getting a certification as your faculty’s resident hoe isn’t enough, in that moment, with ramen dangling from your mouth and puffed cheek, your eyes stops on a brunette boy who stops dead in his track when he sees you.
somewhere on the smooth surface of the table, your phone vibrates with a pop up notification.
jeongyeon: ok so jeon jungkook texted me about you and i kinda told him he should ask you himself but then i thought it kinda indicated that something’s wrong 
another ping.
jeongyeon: i didn’t tell him anything else tho!!!
x
“i don’t know what to say - i’m sorry, didn’t think it would be this bad,” jungkook confesses, head hung low, hair hiding most of his face and disallowing you from reading his emotions.
after jeongyeon ominously told jungkook to ask you about why she can’t tell him anything about how you’re doing now, jungkook had rushed to your place because it was obvious that his texts would be left on read, “maybe i should’ve taken it for what it is but i-,” he’d stopped short of what he wanted to say before he’d met your gaze with wishing stars in his eyes, “i just needed to see you and make sure you’re okay.”
“it’s not,” you admit, “most of the time they just look at me like i’m some animal in the zoo but sometimes it still gets to me.”
“you didn’t seem like the person who would care,” he says smally, almost as though it wasn’t meant for you but for himself.
you want to laugh, “that’s cause that’s what half-drunk me is most of the time and you’ve only ever known her - but on campus, i’m that girl who walks in the hallway with her head down and wanna be as invisible as i can... because i hate conflicts and being seen means i’ll most likely get into some shit... like i did with namjoon.”
kim namjoon saw you when no one else paid attention. mostly because the outstanding ones in your batch were taking the spotlight in freshmen year. the positions became apparent a little over two weeks after the first class. and you were still wondering around, in search for like minded beings. instead of finding friends, you found a god.
or so what they call a once in a lifetime genius.
“yea- i don’t really know you,” if it isn’t for the way his head snaps your way and the heartbreaking strain in his voice, you would have had a better time holding out, “i don’t even know what your favorite color is but i promise i’ll never hurt you like he did,” when he meets your gaze, all control seem to seep out of you and all you want is to take everything back
“i’m sorry- i just- it’s stupid, cutting you off just ’cause of that-“ the sound chains of the swing echo into the chilly night air as you prop your elbows on your knee, torso bent forward while you cup your face with your hands, maybe if you rubbed hard enough the stupid will come off, “i know it’s nobody’s fault but then there’s tae and he was the only one who thought i should stop talking to you- but he’s also the most reasonable person in our friend group and i-“ you almost choke on pure air, “i’m sorry.”
and so you end up at a park a few blocks away, you choosing to sit on the swing whilst he leans against the monkey bar a few feet away.
“it’s not okay,” jungkook’s voice fills your ears - he doesn’t sound as mad as you thought he’d be but his words say otherwise.
until you hear the scrape of soles on dirt. and just as you thought he was leaving, a hand lands on your knee, “but i forgive you.”
the smile you see when you peek through your fingers is familiar. boyish like its owner but endearing all the same,“and nothing that makes you feel like your peace is disturbed, is stupid,” but then the smile down turns into a frown, eyebrows knitting together, “i just wish you told me so you didn’t have to go through this alone.”
“i wasn’t alone - i had my friends,” it’s right after the words hit the air and a flash of disappointment crosses jungkook’s eyes, do you belatedly realize that you were indirectly calling him a non-friend.
“right,” the smile he fixes you breaks your heart - even more so when you see how he’s struggling to be happy for you whilst pushing down the hurt in his eyes, “that’s great - it’s great that you weren’t alone.”
or someone outside of your exclusives-only circle. well, he was - he isn’t exactly someone you’d befriend like you would your current friends. but it must have sounded like he was demoted to a friend who you say hi’s to and don’t share personal hardships and happiness with.
“yeah,” you echo in agreement before biting your bottom lip, gaze switching from his hand to his arm and finally his deep brown eyes that appear hazel underneath the light of the lamppost, “can we still be friends?”
the short but straightforward, “no” on jungkook’s part echoes in the air.
it takes a moment for you to register the two-letter word, as if it’s the hardest to fathom and before you know it, your jaw is on the ground, after a surprised, “what-”
in all honesty, you were the one who wanted to cut jungkook off from your life - for an absurd reason at that - but still, with how he patiently listened to you and even forgave you, you thought he’d at least want to stay friends. maybe he doesn’t want to be that kind of friend anymore. or maybe he doesn’t want to be your friend if you’re not that kind of friends anymore. maybe-
“i don’t wanna be just friends,” the confession falls out from his lips when you least expect it. almost as though you weren’t the only one who could read the other like an open book.
but despite his confidence the first time, you still see the traces of hesitance in the way he takes a moment longer to continue, “i... i want to know you- not the drunk you, not the campus you, but you you.”
this time, you can’t control the trickle of laughter that tumbles out of your mouth. it’s dry and a little bit broken, but still comes from a humorous place, “you’re probably gonna be disappointed as hell.”
“is that a yes?” the flash of starlight in jungkook’s eyesmile causes your heart to swell with a sort of fullness. the chains clink into the air as he grips it with his hands, using them to hoist himself up - but he doesn’t stand straight. instead,he leans his forehead on yours, “say yes.”
the smile that slips on your face is involuntary. completely out of your control as you affirm, “it’s a yes.”
x
“so is that tae’s hoodie?” jungkook asks as you walk down the street to your apartment.
the “what?” that slips out of your mouth is more surprised than anything else but it seems like that’s what made the man rush out his explanation - which he didn’t really need to but you appreciate it anyway.
“it’s just- you’re not a hoodie girl,” you don’t miss the way he scrunches his nose as he struggles to find the proper words, you think it’s cute - you think jungkook’s cute, “you’re more like a sweaters girl - or like, that’s what i see you wear in the morning before you kick me out.”
chuckling, you relieve him of his curiosity with a “no, it’s not tae’s.”
he beams at you like a morning sun until you add, “it’s jimin’s.”
“o-oh,” he nods but doesn’t press on.
“he’s also one of my best friend - they dragged me to movie’s night and we crashed at jimin’s last night,” you say.
“oh.” the pearly whites peek from underneath his lips again, eyes lighting up like stars.
but then, before you know it, you’re standing at the entrance of your apartment. 
“thanks for walking me home,” on your part, you don’t really want to part.
“yeah, no problem,” if you didn’t know any better, jungkook’s foot scuffling against the dirt doesn’t really give off a willing farewell vibe either.
until you both blurt out at the same time-
“do you wanna come in?”
“i mean it when i said i missed you.”
an echoing silence settles between you for the longest moment - or in fact, just a second too long but with all that’s happened and the friendships you can see breaking, jeon jungkook’s is one you’re not going to let go that easily.
not again.
“come inside,” you say.
and this time, you’re not asking.
x
 jungkook’s breath is hot against your neck as you groan from the impact of your back and head hitting the door as soon as it closes, his hands under your thighs.
but you’re fast to recover, hands snaking up his chest until they reach his strained jawline, tilting his head and forcing him to look at you, “show me how much you missed me.”
 a familiar glint flashes across his eyes at your challenge before his gaze falls to the borrowed deep blue hoodie you have on, “take that off. now.” 
deciding against taunting him some more, you pull the piece of clothing over your head before dropping it next to the can of beer, snacks and energy bars you bought from the convenience store.
it doesn’t take much for you to lean into him enough not to let yourself topple over backwards - maybe it’s the hundreds of times he’s carried you like this, maybe he’s the only person you trust to grab you by the bottom of your ass and you’d instantly know where to wrap your legs around. 
or maybe, just maybe, you missed jungkook too.
but either way, you kiss him once after he slams you against your bed. you kiss him a few more times as he slides in and out of you like every crevice of your core is made for him. you’re in the middle of kissing him when he hits ghat sweet spot that gets you moaning mid-kiss. he doesn’t seem to mind as he bites your bottom lips, letting you ride your high whilst he dedicates himself to you. to your pleasure.
and you kiss him when he thrusts deep into you as you both reach a different kind of euphoria together, holding each other tightly as if the other would fade if you didn’t.
since your bed is a single bed and you were occupying most of it, you have to scoot to make space for an extra person. you let him have the pillow while you keep your head raised midair until he slips his arm under it, his other hand pulling your back against his front before he pulls the cover over you.
the digits in the corner of your phone tells you that you’re probably going to end up rushing to your 8 am tomorrow but at the moment, with the moonlight pouring through the window and a distant sound of cars in the main street filling the room, there’s nowhere you’d rather be than right here.
“it’s orange - my favorite color is orange, like the sunset,” you’re pretty sure your voice is half-slurred from the fatigue of the day creeping up to you, but jungkook surprisingly heard it right because-
“we should go sunset watching someday,” he suggests.
“mhm,” you hum, not opposed of that idea at all, “what’s your...” you drag out, shifting through words until you find the one you’re most curious about, “favorite dessert?”
“besides you?” he chuckles when you let out an involuntary gasp at his insinuation before humming in contemplation, “ice creams.”
“are you free this sunday?” you ask.
“yeah, why?” his voice is laced with a hint of wonder.
“let’s go to an ice cream parlor,” by now, you’re pretty sure he barely understands what you’re saying as your eyes begin to droop, “let’s do things people do outside of parties - i wanna get to know you, koo.”
for the longest moment, you thought it’s him that’s fallen asleep because of the lack of affirmation. 
that is, until he murmurs with the smallest voice, “yeah, i’d like that.”
x
you wake up to the sound of your daily alarm blaring across the room. but much to your dismay, when you slip your hand under the pillow -  which unnaturally becomes a texture of spiky but fluffy treads - you come to a morbid realization that isn’t there.
which means wherever your gosh darn phone is, you’re going to have to find it to hit the snooze button because you can’t sleep with that deafening noise but if you do get up, you won’t be able to fall back asleep.
that is, until a different kind of sound, one that knows your name, grumble out a, “___, turn that shit off,” while a hand band around your waist, pulling you into a whole body.
for the briefest moment, you forget about the sound, heart skipping a dangerous beat as your mind shift through your memories, searching for something you can use for a self defense before it finally settles down with a realization that the only other person who could be complaining about your alarm because they were in bed with you, is jeon jungkook.
“god damn it,” you grumble with eyes barely open and mind half-awake while you pick up each article of clothing that are strewn across the room, “where did you throw my phone, jungkook?”
the man in your bed slurs out some incomprehensible words, leaving you with nothing but your wits and your wills and a little bit of urgency because your roommate may not be home most of the time but she definitely is in the morning. her schedule is more unpredictable than yours.
after a good one minute, you finally found your phone not on the floor but under the sheets right next to jungkook’s thigh. considering you spent a good chunk of your remaining sleepiness looking for it, you’re now out of the sleep essence and wide awake.
it looks like you caused quite a stir. jeongyeon’s text alone amounts to 36 notifs while each of your friend private messaged you an average of 5-12 texts each. the lowest being jimin and lisa who teetered on the line of ‘hey jeongyeon told me’s and ‘text me when you see this’ while jisoo’s are full out capsing and taehyung is a mixture of jimin and lisa with a missed call.
but what you don’t expect to see among the pile of notification, is the one pushed to the bottom by your friends’.
“oh, wow, kim namjoon texted me,” you blurt out, not knowing that a slip of tongue would cause a burst of reaction from the sleeping male in your bed.
shooting up with the sheets still covering his head, he yanks them down and fixes you with a wide-eyed, disbelieving gaze, “kim namjoon what now?”
it takes you a moment to digest the fact that he couldn’t even form a proper sentence or even grope around on the bed to help you look for your phone yet a single name and a verb could literally shock the sleep out of him. but you’re not one to hold onto grudges so you casually say, “he texted me.”
when you don’t offer anything else, the man finally asks, “well... what did he say?”
“’hey,’“ you echo the one worded text before slinging your towel over your shoulder.
“and?” hurried steps follow you into the hallway, an awkward ‘don’t-look-pressed’ laugh accompanying them, “...what did you say?”
“why?” you turn around abruptly, almost causing your follower to run right into you before he quickly halts himself, eyes slanting to the wall as he scratches his unclothed chest.
“i- uh, i don’t know - just curious i guess,” he mumbles out.
at that, the chuckles you’ve been holding back spills out of your mouth like waterfall. he opens his arms for you when you slip yours around his waist, locking your hands on his back, “i didn’t reply but if i did, it’s probably to tell him to stop texting me.”
the heartwarming ‘oh’ that tumbles out of his mouth is followed by a tuck in the corners of his lips, doe eyes filling with a sort of heat that makes your heart skip a beat.
that is, until fear flashes across his face, “wait, what time is it? don’t you have 8 am’s on tuesdays? i should leave-”
“nah,” you shake your head, a smile making home on your lips, “i’m skipping. you wanna get breakfast at mcdonald’s?”
instead of an affirmation, jungkook’s panicked face turns to a frown, hands coming to cup your cheeks as he twists it from left to right, as though looking for something and you know why-
 “who are you and what have you done to sober ___?” he demands.
laughter trickles out of your mouth as you struggle to get out of his grasp while he demands you return you back, “___ would drag my ass to the door at ass crack o’clock when she has 8 am’s. bring her back!”
but in your fit of giggles and his exorcist-esque shouting, jungkook stops and pecks you on your mouth, “just kidding,” you don’t think you can ever get used to that boyish smile of his, “i would love to have our first sober date at mcdonald’s.”
as if a giggle switch has been switched on, you laugh some more, cheeks hurting and tears pooling in the corner of your eyes at the way he makes it sound like you’re asking him to a date.
and you’re not quite against that idea.
x
so you find yourself at the mcdonald’s five minutes away from your campus. if you have any fucks at all to give, you would be worried about meeting your casual friends. but something about jeon jungkook and your friends’ - your real friends - endless support from yesterday has turned you into a woman of steel. or, really, just mixed party-you and sober-you together.
“apparently he wants to get back together because he thinks it’ll help fix everything but i know he just wants to save his ass - oh, did you know the dean, jimin’s mom, kicked him out of circuit breaker?” you casually say before chugging on your coffee before the sound of someone choking a whole lung drums in your ears.
turning to you with flushed cheeks and post-lung cough, jungkook demands, “you can’t just dump things like this on me- you gotta give me a warning first.”
“i did,” you counter, and just as his face spells ‘when?’ you quickly add, “at home - when i said kim namjoon texted me.”
“babe, that was 30 minutes ago,” jungkook says, in a matter-of-factly.
but all you hear is the name he calls you, “i kinda like that.”
he smiles shyly but still say, “what? babe?”
“yes,” you place your phone on the table, forgetting the open text as you lean closer to jungkook before enunciating the word “babe?”
his hand finds its way to your chin while yours slip underneath his shirt as he guides your face to his lips. but just before you’re about to kiss, the sound of voices - familiar ones at that - pour into the otherwise quiet vicinity. drawn by your curiosity, you tilt your head just the slightest bit to peak at the newcomers when you feel the heat of pairs of eyes burn into your head.
“shit,” you blurt out.
x
“oh my god,” jisoo gasps while lisa lets out a muted whistle, murmuring a “whew, chile, the audacity of some men.”
jeongyeon snickers as she leans away from lisa who’s holding your phone with namjoon’s text open, “i know what’s going on,” she waves a hand gun at you, “you’re doing great now and he’s sad and lonely-”
“or he wants to show the dean you guys made up so he can get into circuit breaker again,” taehyung chimes in, leaning against the chair, volunteering to pick up everyone’s order from the counter, “you know, just a thought.”
“no, no, no,” lisa interjects, “it’s more than just that with these men - he wants you to think that he’s the only one that can... ‘save’ you.”
“from what?” jimin asks, innocent round eyes looking around until jisoo sighs.
“god, jimin, it’s obvious,” she fixes him a pointed look, “___’s being labelled a manipulating bitch,” she turns to you and winks, “which you aren’t, manipulating - mean but a bitch? yes, and the baddest,” and then she shifts her attention to jimin, “and he’s saying if she gets back with him, he’ll ‘clear things up’ because apparently people tend to take men’s words more seriously than women and he knows that.”
“word,” lisa shakes her head.
“but ___’s not gonna get with namjoon because she has a jungkook,” jeongyeon’s proclamation isn’t entirely baseless yet the way all eyes turns to you tells you that it’s not exactly an established fact - especially when everyone at the table knows that you were ghosting jungkook just yesterday.
“i mean,” jungkook begins from next to you, fidgeting in his seat but avoiding your gaze when you turn to him, “___ can do whatever she wants.”
a pregnant silence lapses between you as you feel your friends exchanging dubious looks with each other. taehyung’s disapproving frown is the hardest to miss because it must have come across as jungkook not being serious enough with you.
but knowing the aforementioned man and how he never assumes your needs and wants - unless you’re having sex because he knows exactly how you like it - you know he doesn’t want to pressure you to be with him.
“i’m not getting with namjoon,” you announce for yourself, shooting the him a smile just before taehyung leaves to get your food.
“i’ll go help tae,” and with that, you skip over to the taller man, catching onto jisoo’s interrogative “so, are you guys like, exclusive now?”
“hey,” you greet the man that’s about to lift the tray of cheeseburgers, drinks, apple pies and mcflurries.
he echoes your greeting with a passive one and you both walk to the chili counter in silence. when he sets the tray down, you’re already picking up one of the tiny paper cups, “so, jungkook came and check up on me yesterday and stayed over to make sure i’m okay.”
he doesn’t need to know you had sex in between.
“he’s a really good guy - and he only said what he said just now cause he doesn’t want me to feel pressured to choose between being with him, or with namjoon or just being single,” you add when it doesn’t seem like he doesn’t have anything to say.
“i’m sorry for acting like a dick yesterday,” he finally breaks his silence with a one breathed sentence, his hand picking up the chili sauce filled cup off your hands.
and that’s when you see your opening, “it’s fine,” you quickly accept but stand your ground, “but jeongyeon also said something about a bet but you didn’t criticize her- i’m not trying to point out who did what worse but it looks like you’re more critical of jungkook because you don’t personally know him.”
“i thought i know a fuck boy when i see one,” he grunts like a sulking child.
“honestly, what does fuck boy even mean?” shrugging, you raised your brows at his okay-get-to-the-point look, “jimin’s kind of a fuck boy if you think about it but we love anyway.”
when he doesn’t seem to deny your allegations, you continue, “and if jungkook’s a fuck boy, then i’m a fuck girl because i-“
“uh,” he recoils like a teen getting sat down for the birds and bees talk,“okay, okay. i get it - spare me the details.”
rolling your eyes at his dramatic reaction, you end with a “see, name calling doesn’t make sense, not to mention hurtful to the person being called that name. they’re a a human being with feelings.”
it’s the ‘i know’ at the end that got him. even though he hadn’t seen you being taunted and ridiculed that day, didn’t mean it stopped. you were just good at masking it because you knew  better. knew that you had friends that would stand by you all the way - heck, jisoo even made a scene out of people looking at you the day before.
“i’ll try to not be so judgy,” taehyung announces before scrunching up his face, “but is him hanging out with us gonna be a permanent thing?”
“thank you for trying,” you fix him a proud smile as he picks up the tray to head to where the others are, “and he’s my friend too so yes, it’s going to be a permanent thing.”
“... say ‘cactus jack sent me’?” jeongyeon is in the middle of putting jimin up to walking over to the counter and saying the infamous line to the worker when you slip back into your seat.
“and travis scott’s burger,” and apparently lisa too.
jimin’s eyes disappear behind his lids as he chuckles at their attempts but he doesn’t exactly oppose the idea.
“hey,” jungkook’s eyes lights up when he sees you.
“so how was the interrogation session my girl friends?” you can’t help the devious grin that slips onto your face at the admittance that you may or may have not purposely left jungkook with your friends for the ice breaking slash interrogating session whilst you patch up your own friendship with your other friend.
“not bad,” he shrugs, “they even showed me your sleeping pics to scare me off but they forgot i wake up to that face almost every few days a week.”
at that revelation, your jaw drops to the ground, mind recalling the many times your open-mouth sleeping pictures have been sent into the group chat as a meme and it was not pretty.
“they did not,” your cheeks heat up as you make a mental note to gather everyone up and force them to finally delete that picture.
“don’t worry you’re not getting rid of me that easily babe,” unaware of the extent of the war raging inside you, he pecks your forehead and continues eating his fries.
x
“do i really look like that when i sleep?” you finally ask after clicking on the safety belt.
even though you could have rode with your friend in jimin’s car, jungkook insists to send you to class as a proper mark for the end of your first date.
“mhm,” jungkook hums casually as he turns on the car.
“and you still like me?” you’re not sure what kind of face you’re making but it has to be something between disgust and bewilderment because damn, he’s a real one.
“what?” he says between chuckles - as if he doesn’t see anything wrong with the picture and it makes your heart bloom with a sort of endearment while your core heats up with a sort of want.
throwing him a sly smile, you cock your head to the side, “get in the back.”
with a mixture of surprised and impressed blink, he doesn’t need to be told twice to unbuckle his seat and climb over to the back seat. long legs spread out to welcome you into his lap.
x
taglist: @gukksluv​ @illwritetomorrow​
shout out to my biggest bestest friend in me-loving baddest b @koochiekoo​ !!! highkey without you, i probably would take longer to finish but you’ve been super supportive and i love you so this fic is for you neinya!!!
note. the first part (friend in me) wasn’t showing up on searches no matter how many times i posted it and my earliest readers would remember it being called ‘to my dear friend’ before i changed it to fim bc i wanted to see if it’ll show up on searches but it didn’t. idk if this one will but i dont have much hope bc the preview also didn’t show up on searches (weird) but i have lost the rest of the f’s i have and decided to post this with a mindset that it’ll reach the right people though probably be less than 50 ppl. but i hope those who came this far enjoyed the fic!
429 notes · View notes
cinnaminsvga · 4 years
Text
autumn leaves | l.i.b. finale
Tumblr media
→ summary: and in the end, we fall because we have no other choice. some get up easier than others, and we bury the ones who never do. 
→ pairing: ??? x reader → genre: angst, humor, fluff, lib!au → warnings: tae gets hurt a little but its an accident (he’s fine dw), small blood mention (from aforementioned accident), rage moments (rip lol), heartbreak (yum!), a happy ending (?) → words: 7.7K → a/n: oh my god we’re at the end?? after two months of SUFFERING?? how can this be happening?? lol but seriously thank you to everyone for going on this journey with me. writing lib was honestly so much fun, and it’s been a while since i’ve been able to kinda go “all-out” or whatever. i’m kind of nervous with this ending, but hopefully it’s something everyone will be able to enjoy. peace!!
prev // part 38 of 38 masterlist here. [series completed]
Tumblr media
October 1, 2020 — 6:18 PM
Min Yoongi’s phone feels like it's burning a hole into his back pocket. It’s a heavy presence, weighing like concrete enough to bend his spine. His hands itch to reach for it, to check for messages he knows he won’t receive. But in the back of his mind, he thinks—desperately and senselessly, that if he wishes hard enough, then maybe it’ll come true.
I should be glad that she isn’t calling me, he tries to convince himself. The itch continues to grow, licking at the back of his mind like a fire begging to be extinguished. I should trust her decision. I should be proud of her. But there’s always been a difference, after all, to what Yoongi should do and what he wants. It’s a difference that he has fought to ignore for years now.
“Hyung,” a soft voice calls out to him, a hand placed gently on his shoulder. Yoongi blinks slowly out of his trance, his eyes dry from staring out his car window for too long. He doesn’t turn in his seat, refusing to face his companion in the backseat. “Hyung,” the voice calls out again, this time shaking him vigorously enough that Yoongi has no other choice but to turn lest his shoulders get dislocated.
“What do you want, Jimin?” Yoongi growls, sneering at the boy. Jimin smiles sheepishly, but he doesn’t back down under his glare.
“Sorry. You were gripping the wheel so tightly that I was scared you were going to break it.” Jimin shrugs nonchalantly, but there’s an edge to his tone, betraying his worry. Yoongi releases the wheel at once, switching to picking at the rips in his jeans instead.
“Didn’t notice. Sorry for snapping at you, I was just…” Yoongi trails off, expression glazing over once more. What was he trying? What was he doing here?
Jimin’s pupils flit all over Yoongi’s face, searching for something. “We’re not going to bring her home anymore?” he asks, but there’s a note of finality there. He knows that they aren’t going home with them tonight, at least not right now. They’ve been parked a block away from Namjoon’s childhood home for a few hours now, sitting in Yoongi’s car and waiting to see if you needed them to help you escape. Jimin has been watching Yoongi all the while, keeping track of the small changes in his friend’s expression.
They are hard to pinpoint sometimes, but Jimin sees them all. He sees the way Yoongi’s brow furrows slightly, sees the way his teeth nibble on his lips in worry, sees the way his head jerks every time he hears a sound, thinking that it might be his phone about to ring. Yoongi is like a pot about to boil over, hardly keeping everything together.
To many people, Yoongi often appears to be as unmoving as a rock. He hardly allows his emotions to control him, and he has always been proud to call himself a level-headed person. And for the most part, Jimin agrees with that. Yoongi is and always will be someone who thrives in times of turmoil, someone who relies on his wit to get him through adversity. He seldom gets angry, rarely raises his voice, never acts cruelly. He’s the person that everyone in their friend group often comes to for advice and support, as he’s always the one who seems to have the right thing to say.
But all those things begin to crumble, however, when it comes to you.
Yoongi is still human, too. He bends, he breaks, he yields—and he does so, especially for you.
“No, we’re not bringing her home,” Yoongi replies. The admission is there, hidden in plain sight. His words are laced with defeat, but it is a defeat that has been accepted long ago. Long before his text conversation with you.
“Then what are we waiting for?” Jimin asks, not unkindly. Even still, Yoongi winces. Jimin’s real question is there, hidden in plain sight as well. What are you waiting for?
Yoongi sighs, resting his forehead against the wheel. He hears Jimin shift in his seat, feels his presence get closer as he leans forward to place a comforting hand on his back. “Nothing,” he says. He breathes deeply through his nose and counts to three. Releases it. “We are waiting for nothing.”
Jimin hums and says nothing more. They sit there in silence for a bit longer, watching the sun’s final moments in the sky before the moon takes its place. The street lamps turn on, bathing the streets in its dusty yellow luminescence. Under the lights, Yoongi’s skin looks tired and worn, like a paper that has been crumpled and smoothed over multiple times.
“I wonder if they’ve finished speaking by now,” Yoongi says suddenly. He still hasn’t moved from his position, his face hidden from view. It almost looks like he hadn’t spoken at all, but Jimin had heard him. He looks at Yoongi in surprise but keeps his silence. Jimin can feel the beginnings of something about to break, and he is afraid that if he makes a sound, it might stop. Even stones break in the end.
“I doubt it. They have a lot of shit to talk about. Too much, in fact.” Yoongi sounds exhausted, his words slurring together like he’s falling asleep. But he’s never been more wide awake. “I’d have a lot to say if I were them. But I’m not them, nor will I ever be.”
Yoongi tilts his head high enough that he can rest his chin on the wheel instead. He stares blankly at the quiet street, listens intently to the sound of the wind beating gently against his car. Parked out there, in the middle of a small neighborhood in Ilsan, far away from the bustling streets of the city, he can almost trick himself into thinking that he’s the only person in the world—
“You love her.”
—but he isn’t alone.
Jimin says it without a shade of doubt. He says it like it's a simple truth of life, like there is no other possible way Yoongi could feel otherwise. The sky is blue. The earth is round. Min Yoongi is in love with you.
“Yes,” Yoongi breathes it out, the confession tumbling through his lips with quiet ease. It does not struggle; it does not resist. It just is. “I’ve loved her before I even knew it myself, I think.”
“I never thought you’d be the type to fall in love at first sight,” Jimin says it lightly, teasingly. There’s a shrivel of truth to it though, but Yoongi will deny it to his dying day; it’ll hurt less if he does.
“I think it started a year ago. When I was preparing for my junior year exhibition.” Yoongi remembers the long nights working until his hands bled, the recurring nightmares eating at his mind, the fear climbing his spine like a tightrope pulled taut. It’s one of the only times when he had bitten more than he could chew, piling impossible expectations onto himself. In those long three weeks of constant anxiety nipping at his heels, he had almost forgotten what it was like to be human. That is, until…
“She saved me. She taught me to slow down, to be compassionate to myself. She didn’t judge me or scold me or hurt me. She just… cared.” Yoongi exhales, clenching his eyes shut. He can see it in his head: your soft hands carding through his hair, whispering assurances and praise into his ears, guiding him to his bed and staying with him until he’d fallen asleep soundly for the first time in days. “Slowly but surely, I started to fall for her. There was just no other way. My heart refused to have it any other way,” he says.
Jimin hums. “I’d always guessed, but I never thought it was that early. You do have an awful habit of staring, hyung. Sometimes I feel like you have to remind yourself to blink.”
Yoongi laughs, hollow sounding. “I suppose I do.”
“Then why didn’t you do anything about it then?”
Jimin’s question is expected. It should be an easy one to answer, but Yoongi doesn’t quite know what to say. It’s easy to say that he knew Jungkook and you already loved each other long before he realized his feelings, and Yoongi was the last person on earth who would do anything to hurt either of you to fulfill his desires. It’s true, but it’s not the whole truth.
So instead, Yoongi responds, “It’s because I’m a hypocrite.” When he doesn’t elaborate, he sees Jimin give him a confused look from the rearview mirror.
Yoongi chuckles sardonically, shaking his head. His mouth feels like acid, as if bile had risen up his throat. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts, but it would hurt more later if he didn’t suck the poison out right here and now. “Nevermind about that. The point is, I lost my chance and I don’t regret it. Yeah, it fucking hurts like a bitch, but what am I going to do? Cry about it? We’ve all known since the beginning that if anyone is going to get a happy ending, it’s certainly not going to be me.”
“Don’t say that,” Jimin says, frowning slightly. He had spoken so sternly that it impelled Yoongi to straighten up in his seat and turn to stare at him. It’s quite unlike Jimin to be anything but friendly and kind, so seeing him so severe is disconcerting. Though, it did manage to shut Yoongi up immediately.
“This is not the end of the world. You are not going to end up unloved or forgotten. There are people who love you, people who will love you. Don’t you remember? Those were the same words you told me when I got my heart broken the first time,” Jimin says, his voice trembling ever so slightly. Yoongi’s gaze flies to Jimin’s fists, clenched tightly by his sides.
Of course, Yoongi remembers. It’s hard to forget the sight of Park Jimin sobbing relentlessly into his shoulder, fat tears falling like raindrops and down his flushed cheeks. He remembers saying the same words to you, too. He wonders, not for the first time, if his words are as ineffective to you as they are to him right now.
“I know,” Yoongi says. He switches the engine on and watches his dashboard light up. The radio turns on, the last notes of a ballad playing through the speakers. Yoongi puts his hand on the wheel, carefully not to grip too tightly this time. It’s a start, he thinks.
They go home, leaving without looking back.
x x x x x
October 1, 2020 — 9:20 PM
Kim Taehyung locks his bedroom door the moment he gets home, after casting a furtive glance at the closed door across from his. He does not know what he expects; the door across from him has been closed for almost a week now. The entire apartment is still, but he is not alone. The ghost who lives in the other bedroom still haunts him, in more ways than one.
He drops his bag to the floor, still cradling a small bouquet of camellias that was slightly crushed when he had bumped into someone in the elevator. He unpeels the plastic wrapping, gently placing them into the vase near his windowsill. He fingers the vibrant pink petals, but they don’t brighten his room the way they once did. It still feels dark, but he has a sinking suspicion that he had nothing to do with his lights.
It’s me. I’ve changed.
He shakes his head, banishing the thought. No, it’s okay. Everything is fine. You’ve done nothing wrong. And yet, the door across the hall begs to differ.
Typically, this shouldn’t be a problem for him. When everything is said and done, Taehyung is used to this happening. The closed doors, the unopened texts, the cold shoulders. It’s all a process that Taehyung has lived through for years.
Guilt: an emotion that Taehyung has become accustomed to. Abandonment: an action that Taehyung has learned to anticipate. Isolation: a lifestyle that Taehyung has mastered. Every relationship with Kim Taehyung will always lead to these three things, so it shouldn’t be affecting him the way that it is.
But over the last three years, he’d grown comfortable. The people around him had convinced him unknowingly, planting seeds of hope and optimism in a garden he had thought to be infertile. For once in his life, Taehyung had found a home in these people, and he’d do anything in his power to keep it safe.
Or at least, he thought he did.
His original intentions had been guileless; he wanted to help Jungkook because he was his friend. Jungkook had been his first friend in university—if he wanted to be honest, then Taehyung would even say that Jungkook was his first friend in his entire life. The boy was kind-hearted and supportive, wrapped perfectly with a goofy personality. Of course, Taehyung wasn’t blind to Jungkook’s faults, but he was sure that Jungkook didn’t have a mean bone in his body. He had decided back then that he could trust this one, and once he had allowed Jungkook into his life, the rest followed suit.
It was easy to empathize with Jungkook because he was just so… awkward. It was like watching a newborn fawn learning to walk for the first time, except Jungkook had long since outgrown his baby status and should have been independent long ago. Taehyung and everyone knew this about him, but they still gave him the benefit of the doubt. They mentored him, guided him, manipulated him in the wrong ways in hopes of hastening him to change. That was until…
Everything fell apart. Taehyung understood long before the fall that he had played a considerable part in Jungkook’s ruin. His negligence, his willful involvement in worsening the situation had exacerbated everything. He had ignored the signs, had barrelled through with his plans without another thought, all because he allowed himself to be blind to what he truly wanted out of this mess.
If he genuinely wanted to be a friend to Jungkook, he would’ve stopped interfering way before you had gone to Ilsan that one fateful weekend in August. He’d been aware he was doing more harm than good to everyone around him, including himself.
No, he stopped wanting to help Jungkook a long time ago. It had turned into his own personal agenda.
“Fuck!” Taehyung screams into the night sky, slamming his hands against the wall. He grabs the nearby vase, smashing it against the floor and scattering water, petals, and glass across the floor. The impact causes a few shards to imbed themselves into his shin, but he does not mind them, for he does not feel them.
He breathes heavily, gritting his teeth in unspeakable rage. He’s angry, so furious. This red hot searing rage builds up in his body until he starts to feel dizzy, his vision blurred with tinges of black. Why is he mad? Who is he mad at?
Is he mad at Jungkook? Yes, but that isn’t new. He’s been angry at Jungkook for a while now. It frustrates him to no end how lucky Jungkook is without even knowing. How easily love comes to him, how pain and misfortune had never been in his vocabulary until just recently. Jungkook had you, Yoongi, and Jimin for longer than he has. Jungkook has been swaddled in affection since the start but has always been too stupid to see. If he had just stopped being so cowardly, he could have easily gotten the person he loves without anyone’s help.
If he just learned to ask, if he just learned to stop fucking locking his goddamn door—
Just like Taehyung.
They are two sides of the same coin, and it scares him.
This raw, unadulterated rage is not about Jungkook, but himself. It was always about him.
He lets out one last defiant shout at the frigid sky before dropping to his bed in defeat. The fury subsides as quickly as it comes, but it only leaves a desolate landscape inside of him.
He does not know for how long he lies there. When he stands, he leaves bloody footprints in his wake. “Appropriate,” he mutters to himself. He limps over to his door, hobbling to the adjacent bathroom to retrieve a first-aid kit. When he opens the door, Taehyung does not notice the small white box placed in front of his doorway. He nearly trips over it, saving himself by latching onto the wooden frame. He glances down, picking up the box gingerly when he sees a small sticky note tacked on top of it.
If you need help, just knock.
Taehyung looks across the hall. The door is still closed, but the person behind it is not.
His grip on the first-aid kit tightens. The first step is always the hardest.
x x x x x
October 1, 2020 — 1:03 PM
When you had run the moment you spotted Jungkook, Jung Hoseok had chosen to stay behind. He had pushed Jungkook to go after you, had yelled at him when Jungkook had hesitated for that one split second.
“Go!” he shouted, jolting Jungkook to his senses. He sprinted off, but not before giving Hoseok one last look back. Hoseok put on his bravest smile at him, throwing a thumbs up. “Don’t give up yet!”
Even now, ten minutes later, his throat still feels scratchy from how loud he had been.
He sits by the curb where he had parked his parents’ car. Namjoon sits beside him, a few inches apart. The autumn wind sends chills down his back, the afternoon sun doing its best to keep him warm. Though, he reckons that half the cold is because of the weather.
Hoseok clears his throat at the same moment Namjoon does. They share a glance, the beginnings of a smile playing on their lips. They look back to the ground, avoiding each other once more. Hoseok taps indiscernible beats with his feet while Namjoon draws shapes in the air with his fingers.
Hoseok tries again. “Umm. Namjoon,” he mumbles tentatively. He doesn’t know where to start.
“You don’t have to explain yourself, you know. I’ve known you since before you even learned how to walk.” Namjoon beats him to it, like always. “I can guess what you want to say.”
Hoseok hazards a glance at him. His friend is tanner than he remembers, the summer months having done well on his skin. He almost giggles when he notices the line where the edge of his shirt sleeve meets his bicep, the stark contrast of color evident whenever Namjoon moves his arm. It has been a while since he has seen Namjoon with a tan line, as Hoseok was usually there to remind him to put sunscreen on before leaving the house.
Usually.
Hoseok sobers up, the momentary amusement evaporating just like that. How is it that in only one month, so many things have changed between them?
“What do you think I want to say?” Hoseok responds. He tries to keep his voice level and cool, but he knows that Namjoon notices the small ways in which he falters. Namjoon knows how he rubs his neck when he’s nervous, how his ears get red when he’s embarrassed. He memorizes the exact time it takes for Hoseok’s mouth to downturn, forming into his signature pout.
He knows all these things and more. And yet, how could Namjoon possibly know the traitorous things that he has done?
“I think… you got sidetracked,” Namjoon says slowly, carefully. When Hoseok glances at him again, he finds that Namjoon is looking back. He has a contemplative expression on his face, his jaw clenched in the same way that it does when he’s solving a tough problem. “I think you wanted to help me get together with her, didn’t you? At least, in the beginning.”
“I still do,” Hoseok admits, breaking his gaze once more. He stares up ahead, where the park is bustling with children and their families. He watches a small boy swinging on a swing set, while another boy pushes him higher and higher. “Do you remember?”
“Remember what?”
“When you texted me while you were freaking out over how you were falling in love with her?”
Namjoon huffs out a laugh, shaking his head. “Yeah. Of course. How could I forget? I’m still freaking out about it now.”
“I was just… worried about you, you know? I’m always worried about you,” Hoseok says. The boy on the swing set is still going, but one extra strong push from his friend causes him to tumble, landing face-first into the ground. The nearby adults begin to panic, but the boy rises unsteadily, dirt caked onto his scratched up face. But when he faces his friend, he’s smiling and laughing like he has just won the lottery.
“Not an unfounded concern,” Namjoon chuckles, causing Hoseok to put on a small smile. His laughter dies as quickly as it comes. “Was that the time you decided to help me?”
“I’ve wanted to help you since the beginning, but that was the first time I actually did something about it.” Hoseok’s heart is beating a mile a minute, his palms sweaty despite the chilly weather. “I only wanted to find out if Jungkook really liked her or not. I wanted to know if you had a chance before you fell any deeper because I didn't want you to get hurt.”
When Namjoon doesn’t say anything, Hoseok continues. “Even when he admitted that he did love her, I could sense that there was a huge chance things weren’t going to work between them as long as if some things were just… pushed in the right direction.” His voice grows smaller the more and more he speaks, the guilt feeling heavy against his windpipe. But Hoseok is determined to tell him, no matter what happens. It’s the least that Namjoon deserves.
“I suppose, in this case, it would be the wrong direction,” Namjoon hums, but he doesn’t appear angry or upset. Not yet, at least. From the corner of Hoseok’s eye, he sees him nod for him to go on.
“Yeah. I could tell he was insecure, and that insecurity was prone to growing into jealousy,” Hoseok runs a hand through his hair, tugging at the roots just to give his hands something to do other than to quiver. “I noticed that he shuts down whenever he’s cornered, so that’s what I did. I kept pushing him, forcing him to admit his wrongdoings but never berating him for them. So, in turn, he began relying on me for comfort instead of his friends.”
He keeps going, “I didn’t feel bad for it at first. I kept telling myself, ‘It’s all for Namjoon in the long run.’ But it didn’t take long for me to realize that I couldn’t keep helping you without hurting Jungkook in the process. I was manipulating this poor boy, and I didn’t even know it until it was too late.”
Hoseok waits for Namjoon to react. He can’t bear to look at him, far too ashamed even to consider turning. He’s sure he’ll find disgust in his kind friend’s eyes, and he isn’t sure if he’d be able to stop himself from running if he saw it. But Namjoon refuses to speak, probably not until Hoseok finishes his piece.
“Jungkook didn’t deserve what I did to him. All the things he did is nothing in comparison to the punishment I inflicted on him, especially when it was never my place to do so. I fed the monster inside of him when he was nothing but a boy who was just scared. Then, just when he still had a shot at redemption, when she was still willing to listen to him, it was also me who ruined everything. I told her about all the bad things he had done. I told her about—”
“The thing about Jungkook paying to spread that rumor,” Namjoon speaks so suddenly that Hoseok nearly chokes in surprise. He had been so quiet that he scarcely even seemed to breathe. “You told her about it, didn’t you?”
“I�� Yes, I did. She told you about it?”
“Yeah. She never informed me who told her, but I suppose it makes sense. But there was something else you said, wasn’t there? Something even she wouldn’t tell me.”
Hoseok nods his head sadly. “Yes. I think she was probably more hurt to find out that Jungkook had been ignoring her in favor of hanging out with me. Indirectly, I fed into her jealousy, but instead of comforting her, I intensified her guilt.”
Beside him, Namjoon releases a shaky breath. “You brought me up.”
“Yes.” There’s no use denying it; after all, Hoseok has always been a terrible liar.
“Did you tell her..?” The question hangs heavily in the air, but Namjoon doesn’t have to finish it for Hoseok to understand.
“No, I didn’t tell her you love her. I just mentioned how she was hurting you by loving Jungkook. That’s all. I don’t think she even had the chance to understand what I meant.”
There’s a moment of silence. The two boys sit side by side, looking to all the world like friends just enjoying an autumn afternoon together. The sounds of children singing, of parents chatting, of lovers laughing try their best to fill the space, but the gap is already too big to mend. At least, not immediately.
“Okay.”
Hoseok startles once more, this time managing to gather enough courage to take a peek at Namjoon. He keeps his eyes low, staring at the mole on his chin. “Okay?” he repeats.
Namjoon shrugs half-heartedly. “It’s done. All we can do now is wait, I guess.”
“But… you’re not..?”
“Mad at you? No, I’m not. Am I hurt? Incredibly so.” Namjoon swallows thickly, his chin wobbling as he finds the strength to keep his tears at bay. “But I can tell you found your way back to the light, and I’m more relieved that you realized your mistake more than anything. I forgive you, but just know that I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget.”
“That’s already more than I deserve, Joon,” he says shakily. He feels a hand snake around his own, and he looks down to find their fingers laced together. On Namjoon’s wrist, the bracelet he had made for him in the 7th grade is frayed and mangled, but still ever-present. “But… what now? If they truly end up fixing everything, will you be okay with it? If Jungkook is still fighting for her… why aren’t you?”
“Same goes for you, I suppose,” Namjoon says simply. He doesn’t explain what he means by that, but Hoseok is honestly too afraid to ask. He’s always felt like Namjoon knew a little bit too much about things that he shouldn’t. He smiles, but there is a tinge of melancholy there. 
Just out of reach, the way Namjoon has always seemed to be.
x x x x x
October 1, 2020 — 5:12 PM
At first, Jeon Jungkook is surprised to find the park more empty than when he was here a few hours ago. He supposes it is only to be expected, as dinner time is fast approaching and all the families have returned to their homes, preparing for the festivities. In another life, he might have been one of those families, sitting around a table with his brother and parents and eating to his heart’s content. Perhaps he might’ve asked you to join him, just like you had in the past.
He finds you seated on one of the benches near the entrance, kicking away fallen leaves absentmindedly. He takes this moment to observe you from afar, his breath getting caught in his throat when he realizes how long it has been since he last saw you.
His heart aches, the constant heaviness that has made a home in his chest growing tenfold. There are no words to explain the plethora of emotions flying through his head, but all he knows is that at the root of it all, he simply just misses you.
You hear him approach him before you see him. When he looks at you, Jungkook doesn’t know how you’re feeling. He used to be so good at anticipating your mood, always the first one to sense when you were upset or annoyed. Now, you just looked… blank, and for some reason, that hurts to see more than if you had been angry.
Jungkook stops right in front of you, his black boots crunching on dead leaves. You motion for him to take a seat beside you, patting the bench lightly.
“Hi. It’s been a while,” you say softly. You aren’t looking at him, and your hair obstructs him from viewing your face.
“Hello,” he replies, feeling dumb. He can’t think of anything better to say, all the things he had prepared in his mind suddenly blown away with the wind. The sight of you alone makes his mouth go dry, his hands to grow cold and clammy. He realizes, not for the first time, how terribly out of his depth he is.
“This has certainly been a long time coming, hasn’t it?”
“It has been,” he agrees. “It’s almost laughable how long it’s taken us to get to this moment.”
You bark out a laugh, the hoarse sound ringing in the air. “Laughable is certainly one way to put it, I guess.”
“Then why did you ignore me for so long? Why did you suddenly shut me out when you told me you wanted to talk? What happened?” He speaks without meaning to, the words flying out of his mouth before he can think of stopping. If his sudden inquiry startles you, you don’t show it.
“I could ask you the same thing.” You shrug, pushing back some of your hair behind your ear. He can see the slope of your nose, the outline of your lips, the shape of your eyes. He memorizes all these things about you, sees you in his dreams and nightmares, but nothing can ever beat real life.
“I’m sorry.” It’s a start: two words heavy with meaning. What does he apologize for first? The rumors? The jealousy? The betrayal? It wouldn’t matter which one he chooses to tackle first because he already knows sorry isn’t going to cut it, but he has to try at least. This isn’t really about him anymore or about asking for forgiveness. You deserve to know everything he’s done—if you wanted to know, that is.
You blink rapidly, but your eyes are dry. “I know.”
“You don’t have to forgive me.”
“I know.”
“You don’t have to trust me.”
“I don’t,” you say, and it hurts the both of you when you do. Jungkook feels his insides clench, feels his heart collapse in his chest. “I don’t trust you, Jungkook,” you repeat.
“I…” Jungkook has to take a few shuddering breaths, his vision going blurry as he tries to keep it together. He waits for the pain to ebb, but it flows like a river down his veins. “I hurt you a lot. It’s only right that you don’t trust me.”
“I have a lot of regrets,” you say, sniffling. You still aren’t crying, but your nose is red from the cold. He wonders how long you had sat here waiting for him to arrive. How long have you been waiting for him in general?
“I have a lot of those, too,” he says. “I regret being unfair to you. For keeping people away from getting close to you, like a property meant to be hidden away. I tried to steal you for myself, but that’s not a very good thought, is it? I shouldn’t have thought that you were a thing to be kept. You should have been someone I treasured.”
“Then why didn’t you treasure me?” The question echoes loudly in Jungkook’s ears, as it’s the very same question that has weighed in his mind the moment he started to wonder where he’d gone wrong. Why hadn’t he loved you the way that he should have?
“Because I abused your love for me, even when I wasn’t aware of it,” he says plainly. He has known the answer for a while now but refused to accept it until this moment. It feels like a cork inside of him has burst, releasing all the foul, wretched things inside of him and out into the open. And once they start tumbling out, he doesn’t think he’ll be able to stop.
“I think we both knew we loved each other for as long as we can remember. We skirted around each other because we were scared of change, of losing the friendship we had built over the years. We purposefully ignored each other’s feelings and brushed off our friends’ attempts to help us realize something we already knew.”
“We did,” you say. “That was both our faults.”
“But I was never good at bottling up my feelings. It was only a matter of time before the love I had for you began to grow claws and fangs, and somehow along the way,” he pauses, a breath of sorrowful laughter escaping him, “I had gotten lost.”
Your expression morphs then, shifting from pain, to grief, to acceptance. You open your mouth, but nothing comes out. Your eyes look glazed over, like your mind is somewhere else. When you come back down, you already have another question for him. “Why didn’t you ever ask me out?”
He should just say something else, but he can’t help but wonder—”Why didn’t you?”
“I tried—a couple of times. You never noticed they were dates,” you shrug. A leaf from one of the nearby trees gets caught in your hair, and Jungkook reflexively plucks it out. You both freeze when his fingers graze your nape, gazes locking with one another. He jerks his hand back, but doesn’t look away—doesn’t dare to.
(It might be his last chance.)
“I’m sorry for being dense. For resorting to buying rumors so that I could pretend to date you when I could have asked for the real thing. I’m sorry for setting you up with… Namjoon,” he hesitates on his name, and you notice. “It must have confused you greatly, only worsening the doubt you must’ve had for me.”
“It did.” The corners of your eyes look wetter than before, tears dangerously close to the surface. “When I asked you if I should go to Ilsan the first time... You told me to go, even though everyone told me you were jealous of Namjoon. I was starting to believe them, hoping that maybe it was a sign that everything before then had just been a misunderstanding. But that was all you, wasn’t it? Why didn’t you tell me to stay?”
“It was a mistake,” he mutters. He shakes his head at the memory: a frequent recurring nightmare of his as he is forced to remember the moment everything had started to go downhill. “I had realized I was being a jealous asshole far too late, and I was trying to clear my own conscience. I thought that… if I let you go, then you’d think better of me. That I might be absolved of my sins if I took your trip as my penance. I didn’t think you were trying to see if I would stop you,” he explains, but it sounds like an excuse even to his ears.
You sit together, watching the sun begin to set, bathing the world in its orange hues. Jungkook feels empty, wrung out like a towel left to dry. The wounds inside him ache and throb, but he knows they won’t last. As surely as the sun will rise, he will also relearn to feel whole again—even if it means you won’t be there to see it.
“I waited for so long, Koo.” You shake your head, allowing a few traitorous tears to fall. You let out a watery laugh. “ I waited for this moment for so long, but I never imagined it would be like this.”
Jungkook studies his hands. He desperately wants to hold you one more time, but the ship has already sailed. “We’ve already sailed past each other a long time ago.”
You nod your head sadly. “We have.”
“Is it bad that I wish that we hadn’t?” he whispers, but he doesn’t really expect a response from you. He rubs his face, covertly trying to wipe his tears away. “I guess there’s a reason why you called me number two, huh?”
You can’t even force out a laugh. You sob unabashedly, cupping your face in your hands. This is the end.
This is the end of a great long adventure between you and him—the time for your roads to diverge closes in, like a shadow looming over their heads.
Jungkook wraps you in an embrace for the last time. You shake like a leaf in his arms, clutching at his chest like you don’t want to let go. He drinks you in, tries to commit everything about you to his memory. “Thank you for loving me, even if it didn’t work out. Thank you for being my first love.”
x x x x x
October 1, 2020 — 7:07 PM
Kim Namjoon opens the door to his childhood home the moment he hears footsteps climbing up the stairs. He’d done so numerous times already, spooking one or two of his neighbors at his sudden appearance. This time, however, he finds the person he had been waiting for.
“Oh, Y/N. Thank god,” he sighs in relief when he sees you, rushing out the door just as you finish taking the last stairstep. You wobble in surprise when you notice him, nearly falling over with a scream before he catches you by the waist to keep you steady. He pulls you close, pressing your face gently into his chest.
“I’m so sorry for everything. I’m so sorry for bringing you to Ilsan even though Yoongi told us not to go. I’m sorry for not telling you that I knew Jungkook and Hoseok were coming here, too. I’m so sorry for—”
“Namjoon,” you try to interrupt him, but he keeps going.
“—wanting you and Jungkook to reconcile even if you didn’t want you to leave me. You just looked so sad all the time, and I knew you needed to speak to him at least one more time so that you could find closure, but I should have asked you first like a decent person—”
“Namjoon,” you repeat. Namjoon pauses long enough to see that our eyes are red-rimmed from crying, further increasing the panic rising in his body.
“Oh god, I didn’t want you to be sadder! I just… God! I just wanted to help you for once, because you always helped me with everything. I know you deserve to make your own decisions, to be your own person, but I ignored that in favor of following my stupid gut—”
“Joonie, the neighbors can hear you,” you hiss, furtively glancing at the doors opening around them. You can feel many eyes on you, watching curiously at the red-faced idiot babbling like a man possessed. You motion for him to stop, but he’s too caught up in the moment.
“For a while, I thought I could stop myself from falling in love with you, but it was so hard! You have to understand how impossible it is not to love you. Believe me, I tried!” Namjoon all but shouts the last part out, shaking you by the shoulders. “I don’t deserve you! I’m just not a good boyfriend! I’m insecure to a fault, I’m boring, I have mild sleep apnea, I forget to throw out the empty milk cartons—”
You yelp as he continues to shake you, gently having to pry his hands off of you to save yourself from being shaken like a bobblehead. “Joonie,” you say, firmer this time.
He rambles and rambles and rambles. He couldn’t stop even if he wanted to, hands gesticulating wildly like a human helicopter. He’s so wrapped up in his monologue that he doesn’t realize immediately when you take his hands in yours, forcing him to keep still.
“Joonie.”
“—and I’ve never been able to hold a relationship for longer than two months! My past girlfriend even left me after cheating on me the entire time—”
“Joonie.”
“I’ve never been good at being vulnerable and being myself, but you somehow managed to make me feel like I was worth something. You made me feel so so so incredibly loved. You made me feel important!”
“Kim Namjoon!” You shout, finally losing your temper and flicking him on the forehead. That finally manages to stop him, his eyes going cross-eyed like a cartoon character. You could almost see the flying stars orbiting his head. Properly silenced now, you push him back into his apartment, kicking the door with your foot before locking it for good measure.
When you turn back to face him, he’s still frozen where you left him. He stands in the middle of his living room like a robot, his mouth slightly agape as if his wires had been fried. Rolling your eyes goodnaturedly, you pull him to the couch, gently guiding him so that he doesn’t accidentally fall on his ass as he continues to short circuit in front of you. It takes him another whole minute to get his bearings together, but you’re a patient person. You sit in the adjacent armchair and wait for him to speak.
“Oh my god.” He swallows awkwardly, the color draining from his face. “What the hell did I do?”
“Welcome back to earth,” you smile, waving a hand in front of him. “Did you miss me?”
“I always miss you.” It seems as though Namjoon’s weird candor spell is still in effect. He has the presence of mind to be embarrassed this time, however, and you watch amusedly as his cheeks begin to redden. “I, umm…”
“Gave quite a show out there. I didn’t know you could rap,” you tease, your mouth curling up into a smile. The muscles in your cheeks feel sore, almost as if it has been ages since you last used them. This morning feels like it had happened eons ago.
“Sorry. I just… had a lot to say,” he replies lamely. He hangs his head, embarrassed to look you in the eye. “So… I’m guessing you spoke to Jungkook?”
He hears you hum in agreement, but you don’t say anything on the matter. Namjoon has never been one to pry, but his overactive brain can’t help but make connections out of nothing, trying to make sense of the world in desperation.
“I’m guessing you’re here to reject me, right? I’m sorry for confessing to you all of a sudden when you’re already spoken for. It was unfair of me, and you don’t need to try and spare my feelings at all. I’ve been prepared for this since August,” he speaks rapidly, nearly losing his breath in his haste. “It was my fault for thinking we could have happened. I mistook your kindness for reciprocation when I should have known better—”
“Joonie, my love. You’re rambling again.” Your voice snaps him back to reality. He turns redder somehow, sinking deep into his seat.
“S-sorry.”
“Stop apologizing,” you huff, pouting in annoyance, but Namjoon catches the fondness in your eyes. “You aren’t unfair at all.”
“E-even so,” he stutters, heart hammering in his chest. “I shouldn’t have expected anything to happen between us. We were only going to fake date until the end of Chuseok, so it was foolish of me to try and… replace Jungkook, somehow. But I suppose, in the grand scheme of things… he’s a tough act to follow up to, huh? Seven years of loving someone is a long time. I don’t hold a candle to that,” he says dejectedly.
“But you do.” The words slip out before you can stop them. Your eyes widen, shocked by your own admission. Even so, you know what you said is true, and you wouldn’t take it back even if you could. 
For a moment, you think he doesn’t hear it when he doesn’t react. It takes a second for his brain to buffer, but Namjoon had heard you, loud and clear.
“What do you mean?” His tone is soft, hesitant. Afraid, but hopeful.
You shrug your shoulders. You want to tell him everything, but you are impossibly tired, your eyelids like sandbags just waiting to fall. Namjoon must have noticed because he stumbles out of his seat with his arms outstretched, ready to keep you from slumping over.
“Woah, there. I’m sorry for interrogating when you must be exhausted. Do you want to take my bed instead of the couch tonight?” he asks, kneeling in front of you.
You blink sleepily at him, nodding with a large yawn. “I wanna talk to you but I’m tired,” you say, before promptly toppling onto him. He doesn’t flinch at your weight, catching you in an instant. He lets you nestle your face into his neck, and he grabs your arms until they’re laced around his shoulders. Slowly, he gets up with you in his arms, a feeling of weightlessness filling your senses. Safe.
When he tucks you into his bed, the sheets smell familiar and homey. Namjoon sits by the edge, brushing a few strands of hair away from your forehead. “Namjoon?” Your voice sounds muted to your own ears, as if you were underwater. But you don’t feel like you’re drowning, not at all.
“Yes?” He watches you with kind eyes, the same ones he has always had. To you, he looks like a prayer come to life, a promise ready to be fulfilled.
“You’ll be here? When I wake up?”
Namjoon exhales out a laugh, smiling sweetly. I love your dimples, you want to say, but your body feels heavy. Tomorrow. You’ll tell him for sure.
“Yes, Y/N. I’ll always be here. For as long as you want.”
You close your eyes. Tomorrow.
It’s a promise.
447 notes · View notes
hollyhomburg · 3 years
Note
Does robo au!mc have any robotics background to help fix up the others or is it just yoongi who helps fix them? i just imagine mc holding onto hobi's hand while yoongi is fixing him or like holding onto tae or jimin's hand while working on their coding being like its okay you'll be okay? maybe bc shes so worried after losing namjoon she's scared she'd lose one of the robo boys too due to technical issues.
ahhhhh i dont think so maybe she was somewhat of a nature bluff? or an intergalactic explorer before she met namjoon, i think she lowkey has absolutely no idea how any of them work, which is also why namjoon programed yoongi to fix himself and the others.
i think that yoongi also has a backup body, were like- the second his main self disconnects from what is probably a global networking system that namjoon designed for their little moon- his other self boots up and he can go out and rescue whatever happened to his pain body and repair it. his backup is a little more basic, not nearly as many sensory neurons as his main, but it gets the job done.
the m/c is definitely super panicked and fusses with them, holds their hands and makes sure they know she's there to watch over them. out of all of them- i think that jungkook has to be repaired the most often, he has the habit of seeking out trouble when he's not actively guarding the m/c. mostly because his brain is programed to identify danger and not back down from it- that is, jungkook cannot feel fear really? he can feel risk but not fear.
27 notes · View notes
hisunshiine · 3 years
Text
Escape ✈︎ Chapter 9
Tumblr media
✈︎ chapter 9: Save Water, Shower with Me    | ✈︎ Escape Series — 18+, Mature  
 ✈︎ genre: smut, fluff, angst? but not really
 ✈︎ word count: 3007 words
 ✈︎ pairing: jimin x reader
 ✈︎ warnings: alcohol consumption, tipsy, unprotected sex, shower sex, fingering, handjob, kissing, teasing, dirty talk, praise, blow job, swallowing cum, feels like infidelity but its not
 ✈︎ summary: After trying everything to capture his attention, you finally get what you've been after.
| series masterlist | previous | next | hisunshiine | mrsparkjimin18 |
Tumblr media
It’s your third week in Bangtania since you were given the option to stay and you eagerly accepted. It has been the most amazing experience, and you wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Well, maybe you would trade it for one night with your ultimate bias, Jimin , if you can ever catch him. You have had drinks with him, danced at parties, even played video games all night in the dorm with Tae, because you were sure that would get you close to him. Of course, he didn’t even return to the dorm that night, and when you headed back to your temporary room, you saw him walking with someone to his private bungalow. You just know that the next time you get a chance, you are going to have to be quick and aggressive about the situation. This afternoon the guys are throwing a pool party at their dorm, and you are going to make sure you get his attention today.
“Hey girl, I see you over here sitting all pretty...what are you up to?” Rosalie asks, with her thick southern US Georgian drawl. You give her a devilish grin.
“Just trying to get somebody's attention, but it doesn’t seem to be working.”
“Darling, it’s not hard to get any of their attention here. Did you ever think maybe you’re trying a little too hard?”
You know she’s not being rude, she’s just extremely straightforward with her opinion. You have gotten to know her rather well, considering her room is next door to yours, and she is remarkably observant.
“So, I’m going to take a guess… Jimin?”
Your jaw drops.
“What? I would never… I…” you sputter, failing miserably to hide your true intentions, “ugh, yeah, how can you tell?”
Your shoulders drop in defeat, and you take a sip of your fruity cocktail.
“Well, first of all, sitting here looking pretty is not going to get his attention. He likes to be engaged, or maybe you can do something to draw his attention… I suggest you make it happen quickly, because I heard there are plans for a bonfire beach party when the sun sets.”
Bonfire beach party, you think to yourself. “I’m going to go grab another drink, come with me?”
Rosalie is always down for another drink, she can drink everybody under the table; said it’s because she grew up with five brothers. You both head over to the tiki bar Yoongi put up a few weeks ago with a couple of the other girls. Just as you start to circle around behind the bar to fix drinks you hear an easily recognizable voice.
“I would never let a lady make her own drink. What will you two be having?”
You turn around to see Jimin standing there. You’re stuck, speechless, possibly blowing your moment.
“Whatever you decide to make us.”
“I have the perfect drink, it’s fruity and strong.” He smiles as he starts grabbing bottles of juices, two different clear liquors, and the sweet grenadine for color and flavor.
“So, you decided to stay permanently?” He asks as he hands you your drink. “You’ve been enjoying it that much here?”
“How do you know that this isn’t my first week here?” you say in a bratty tone.
He smiles, ignoring your question as he uses that signature smile that makes his eyes turn into half moons and his cheeks turn into mochi to evade. “Drink up, tell me what you think?”
You can’t believe your taste buds, this is your favorite drink! You were so busy admiring his beauty, that you didn’t notice he made you your favorite drink - a Dirty Shirley! Your eyes light up and he starts laughing.
“Do you think I haven’t noticed you? I see everybody, I watch everybody; I’ve watched you watching me. You like me, don't you?" He raises his eyebrows, covers his mouth, and begins to laugh, dropping into a squat from laughing.
“I-I haven’t been watching you like that,” you laugh nervously, “you make me seem like a stalker.” You take another gulp from your drink, trying to get rid of the nervous tension in your stomach.
After his laughter subsides, he stands up and walks around the bar, leaning up against it. You can smell his sweet cologne, you discreetly inhale a little deeper to take it all in.
"So, are you coming to the bonfire beach party with all of us? I mean, only if that's something you'd like to do." He suddenly is acting shy and nervous.
"I'll be there," you say, as you drink the last of your beverage, and shake the empty cup at Jimin, "can I have a refill bartender?"
You both giggle.
"At your service, madam." he says in a horrible french accent, but you find it irresistibly cute.
You spend the rest of the time laughing and talking with Rosalie, while Jimin had to tend to the other guests. Plus, Talia said they had some things they had to get ready for the party later, so he left a little early with her.
It's getting close to dusk and you're feeling pretty buzzed, you decide to head over to the beach early with Rosalie and a couple other girls.
"Maybe you ladies shouldn't be trying to operate this golf cart, driving under the influence can be dangerous," Taehyung says, his deep voice startling you.
"Aww, that's so sweet of you doll. Y/N, move over and let him drive, he can be our handsome chauffeur," Rosalie giggles and Tae begins to blush.
Using a mocking tone, he speaks.
"Where to madam," he intones, trying not to laugh as he looks at you. You can't help but to burst into laughter; you have spent many nights playing the game with Tae and know that he has quite the sense of humor.
"Take us to my house so I can grab some beach blankets from the closet. Please and thank you." You smile at Tae and he begins the drive to your place.
You and the girls get your blankets setup near the bonfire, which is already warming up the cool breeze coming in from the ocean. Yoongi walks over with cups and a bottle of honey colored liquid.
"Shots?" is all he says and you all know it’s rude to turn down a drink when it's offered.
"Whew!" Rosalie exclaimed. "Now that's a shot! I haven't had whiskey since I was 18 from my Daddy's liquor cabinet!" You all laugh, your belly feeling warm from the alcohol. You swore you could feel it flowing through your bloodstream, and mixed with the drinks from earlier, your buzz was enhanced quite a bit.
Amongst all of the laughter and banter, the music playing over the Bluetooth speaker, you hear the voice of an angel. You stand up to get a better view of the crowds that have gathered at the bonfire, drinking and socializing.
Then you notice him, he's standing with Vanessa, Talia, Jungkook and a couple other residents from the island. You wonder what the conversation is about, eyes focused on him as he laughs, covering his mouth before he brushes his hair from his face with his fingers.
"Soooooooo, are you just going to stand there staring at him? Or are you going to go speak?" Rosalie asks as she begins giving you a little push to move your feet.
You grab two wine coolers from the ice chest as you walk over, knowing exactly how to approach Jimin. When you get near him, you twist the top off of one.
"Jimin, you shouldn't be empty handed at a beach party." You hand him the open cooler, he smiles and excuses himself from his group conversation.
"Let's walk."
You follow behind him, opening your cooler, taking huge gulps until it's halfway gone.
"So where are we going?" you ask.
"Just walking. It's a beautiful night, and I like to enjoy the final setting of the sun in peace." He takes your free hand and pulls you closer to him; you walk silently for a while, holding hands.
"Right here," he says. He stops suddenly, and sits in the sand, facing the west as the sun continues descending until it's unseen. Then he points at the moon, which is now much easier to see now that the brilliant indigos and violets have taken over the sky.
"It's such a bright and clear--"
You interrupt his sentence with a kiss, moving mid-sit towards him. His lips part slightly to allow your tongue to explore his warm wet mouth.
His hand reaches behind your head, entangled in your hair, he pulls you closer with his other hand on your lower back. He turns you from your kneeling position in front of him and slowly lowers you onto your back, letting his body rest between your legs. His hand explores underneath your shirt, sliding his thumb over your aroused nipple through your padless bra. A tiny moan escapes your lips, and you feel his hard member grind against your hot core, his mouth catches the next moan as he kisses you passionately. Somehow you have set aside the half empty bottle you were drinking from, the bottom half buried in the sand and lost to you in this heated moment.
You reach into his shorts, grabbing his erection; you have been longing for this moment. He rocks his hips, using your hand for his pleasure, pre-cum leaking out as his moans deepen. He nibbles at your clothed nipples, sucking your neck, leaving marks, his soft lips causing your body to shiver with pleasure when they touch your skin.
Sliding your bikini bottoms over, Jimin uses his forefinger to separate your lips, he hisses as he feels the wet slick coating your warm hole.
“Maybe we should take this someplace a little more, how do you say, comfortable and clean? This feels dirty, maybe we should go to your place and get a little more relaxed.” You could see his devilish grin in the moonlight, and for the moment, you knew he was yours.
He gets to his knees, adjusting his hard member in his shorts, and helps you to your feet. You walk with him back past the bonfire, noticing Rosalie give you a wink and a thumbs up, then she continues on dancing. You climb into the golf cart with Jimin, and drive to your place. The whole ride over, he rubbed your leg up and down, making sure his fingers would gently brush across your moist bikini bottoms. He knew what he was doing to you, he could feel the goosebumps he was causing.
As soon as you entered the front door to the empty house, Jimin began undressing you, pulling your top over your head, dropping it to the floor. He untied your bikini string as you unbuttoned his shorts, both items of clothing dropping to the floor in the hallway. Breathy, passionate kisses stolen in between him lifting his shirt up and off over his head, his erection coming back into full salute. He lifts you up, wrapping your legs around him as he enters the bathroom, walking directly into the large shower stall.
He turns on all of the shower heads, there is water misting your bodies from every direction, the sand flowing down the drain with the water. He pulls your body close by your waist, grabbing your breasts with his hands, suckling and nibbling at your nipples. You stroke him while pulling him closer, leading the dripping head of his cock to your warm, wet core. He lets out a breathy moan as his lips make their way to your neck, sucking and leaving a mark. He lifts one of your legs up and lets it rest in the crease of his elbow, bends his knees so he can get the right angle and finally penetrate you. His eyes go dark as he looks into yours, you help guide the tip into your core, and without warning he thrusts his hips up, plunging deep into you. You can’t control the sounds that come from deep within your stomach, pure ecstasy travels through your body as he thrusts in and out, making you cum quickly. He slows his stroke as your slick juices lubricate his member.
“Turn around,” he says, in the deepest tone you have ever heard from him.
He pushes your body up against the wall of the shower, spreads your round bottom while lifting at the same time. He slowly enters you again, letting you feel every inch, every ridge and vein along his shaft. He is now in the perfect position to stimulate your g-spot, causing you to reach your climax again within minutes. He remains inside of you and pulls you away from the wall, giving you a slight push on your upper back to bend you over. You hold on to the water nozzles to keep your balance, which was the go ahead for him to completely destroy you. He pounds in and out relentlessly, smacking your ass.
“Feels good doesn’t it? You’ve been waiting for this moment, and it’s everything you ever wanted, right Y/N?”
You scream out a “Yes!” as you cum all over him again. His stroke slows down, and he pulls out of you, despite the pulsing of your walls that wants to keep him inside. Grabbing your shoulder to turn you around and push down, you kneel in front of him.
“Now make me cum, please,” he says with a pout as he strokes his large cock in your face.
Without hesitation you take him into your mouth and all the way to the back of your throat; you grab his ass and move him to thrust in and out of your mouth. He takes over and begins rolling his hips back and forth, fucking your mouth, your tongue swirling and licking, playing with his balls in your free hand.
“I-I’m cumming!” He lets out a loud moan as he begins to pulsate in your mouth, the weight of him on your tongue fluctuating, and you take him all the way in just as his hot cum begins to drizzle down your throat. You continue sucking until he goes limp.
He helps you to your feet, then he takes the loofah and gently begins washing your body; he even shampoos and conditions your hair. The soft side of Jimin comes out with these caring acts, and it makes you feel good. Once he has you all clean, he tells you to leave him a clean towel and he will be out in a minute.
You go to your room and put on the cutest Chimmy pajama shorts set you have, because you want him to see how much you really like him. The shower turns off and you hear his footsteps coming down the hall. You are laying in your bed, attempting to model pose, as he walks into the doorway of your room.
“Well, that was fun,” he says. He does that laugh you love again where you can’t see his eyes. You laugh with him, then you hear a familiar voice.
“Jimin-ah, here are your clothes you asked for earlier, are you almost done?” It was Talia and you are slightly confused.
“So, wait... you’re not staying the night?” You ask.
“I already had plans for later, with Talia, which is why she brought a change of clothes. I’m sorry, did you think I was going to stay?” He asks with a genuinely apologetic tone.
“Well, I mean I have seen you go to your private bungalow and spend the night with someone, I just figured you would at least stay the night with me.” You feel a little used, but you don’t let him see. “It’s okay though, I can go back out to the bonfire party, I’m sure Rosalie is waiting for me.”
He stood there getting dressed, listening to you, but not really focusing on you.
“Okay, well enjoy the rest of your night, and put on a sweater, I don’t want you to catch a cold.” He walks over to the side of your bed and gives you a surprisingly passionate kiss.
“I truly enjoyed tonight, and it can happen again, just not now.” He kisses your forehead before walking out of your room.
You hear their voices speaking quietly, then something that sounds like an ass smack and a kiss. You throw a hoodie on and head back to the beach and when you look down the street, you can see Jimin and Talia, walking hand in hand to his bungalow. Things click in your head and you realize that she was the one he was walking with that day, and she is the one he is always with.
You are still confused as to why she wasn’t upset when she arrived with his clothes and maybe one day you can talk to her about it. For now, you go to find Rosalie and tell her about how much fun you had with Jimin.
As you get closer to the bonfire and the crowd, you think about how you felt used at first by Jimin, but how he took the time to explain to you that he did have other plans that night. You hadn’t asked him before about staying over, you had only been focused on getting him between your legs, which was successful.
And that kiss? You inwardly swoon as you make it back to Rosalie.
“How was it?” She asks you knowingly, passing you a red solo cup.
“It was honestly perfect?” You say, surprised to hear those words come from your lips. But as you reflect, you realize that it's true. He didn’t oversell and under promise. He made sure you got off, and took care of you after. He may not have stayed the night, but you had friends to still party with.
“And I will definitely take him up on the offer to do it again.”
Tumblr media
↣ all rights reserved © hisunshiine & mrsparkjimin18 2020-2021. please do not repost. translations & modifications are not allowed.
31 notes · View notes
mrs-monaghan · 1 year
Note
For god sake, Taehyung loves Jimin. He said it himself on IG just 4 months ago. He wasn't lying and Jimin loves Tae. TK wasn't setting JM up for hate. Even if Jikook broke up, which they didn't, TK hanging out still doesn't mean they hate him and bring on hate on purpose. This is where warped shippers and antis distort the truth. TK went to a premiere, did they not think of Jimin and the hate? Blah, Blah. Wait a minute, JK just did a 2 hr JM live before that premiere that proves he still very much loves & respects Jimin and probably really misses him cause they have just been on different career paths, but it doesn't mean they don't still hook up, cuddle and have their own private dates. So how did JK going to that premiere with Tae, erase what he did for JM? It just means JM has been work driven and busy and probably just wanted to do it all on his own and he is allowed & JK respects that & JM just wants to be more low key with JK. So you think JM didn't have an invite to come to JK's to hang out with JK, Hobi and V? Even tho JK told him to come box and eat chicken already? Look how they sang JM's songs without him even being there. They love him, but TK are also allowed to love each other and be friends too. TK have done nothing to hurt JM. Is Tae guilty of playing with shippers, yes he is, but he also made it clear he loves JM and JM for god sakes has moon tats down his back because of Tae. Shippers and Antis have planted so much doubt in people's heads, when JM has told us he loves both TK and TK told us they love JM. Its not their fault, you people are unwilling to listen. Vminkook all love each other, but Jikook happen to be in love and Tae respects that, Case closed.
Anon's points are valid.
Tumblr media
21 notes · View notes
vkookjamz · 4 years
Text
⋆☽Kitten☾⋆
|| Prologue. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12.
Tumblr media
| 𝐽𝑢𝑛𝑔𝑘𝑜𝑜𝑘 𝑥 𝐶𝑎𝑡-𝐻𝑦𝑏𝑟𝑖𝑑 𝐹𝑒𝑚𝑎𝑙𝑒 𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟 |
"𝘉-𝘉𝘢𝘣𝘺 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭..?"
𝘑𝘶𝘯𝘨𝘬𝘰𝘰𝘬'𝘴 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘬𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘯. 𝘈𝘭𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩, 𝘰𝘥𝘥𝘭𝘺 𝘦𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩, 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘢 𝘬𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦..
---------------------------------------------------
Y/n's POV
Eyes now widened, you gripped the arm rest on your left. Your ears stood up, becoming stiffened along with your tail twitching in alert.
Who said that- What said that?? That definitely wasn't your conscience- It sounded- familiar, but your mind couldn't seem to come up with anything to pair the voice to.
The voice was feminine, deep and smooth it sounded almost like a mother's who was singing their child a lullaby.
But deep down in the pit of your stomach you just had a feeling it was instead masking a siren. Who's sweet sound would slowly lure you into its trap leading to your ultimate demise.
'I will awaken' 'do not fear what you are that's their job' Who is going to wake up and why would people be afraid?
You felt your head get dizzy and your body heat up. You felt as if you were about to pass out until it spoke again.
Calm yourself.
That's rich, how exactly were you supposed to do that when you're pretty sure you've gone mad.
'you're not crazy y/n- just close your eyes, take a nap, you're probably just tired and hungry that's all'
You spoke to yourself, repeating affirmations inside your mind until you heard it once again.
ha..
Growing irritated at whatever this was, you heard the eerily seducing tone giggle softly, causing you to let a snarl form on your face as you growled under your breath.
Oh come on now it's laughing at you?? How the hell was this possible- one second you're just staring at the moon on your way to dinner with the boys and now you've completely lost your shit?
Dear child, I am you. You are me.
'what are you talking about- I'm me..'
"Uh baby girl? we're here" Jungkook rubbed your back softly, tilting his head as he scanned his eyes over you.
Inhaling a deep breath from your nose, your eyes snapped open glancing around the car you saw the other members lazily unbuckling their seatbelts.
They all were getting up with slight groans and happy sighs while putting on their masks and coats, preparing to enter the restaurant you all were currently in the parking lot of.
Shaking your head you frowned your brows together confused. Had you been asleep? Was what you experienced a dream?
You didn't remember falling asleep- just looking at the moon, then everything got quiet, then the voice. Your eyes never closed, you know they didn't.
Looking back at Jungkook you blinked a few times to focus then nodded quickly. "Ah- yes I'm sorry Appa- I spaced out I guess"
He chuckled giving you a cute side smile, shaking his head he quickly threw his own coat over your shoulders, helping you out of the car and reaching down to hold your hand, knitting his fingers together with yours.
"It's alright baby, now that you had a little snooze during the drive I'm sure you should be plenty hungry yeah?" he ruffled the top of your head closing his door.
"I-I- slept..?" you frowned looking up at him, your grip on his hand tightening. Jungkook nodded looking back at you with pursed lips letting out a small laugh. "Yeah the moment we got in the car you looked out the window for a moment then passed out- I was worried at first but Namjoon-Hyung said you were probably just exhausted since- you know, first time being a human and we did a lot"
So you had fallen asleep..
Maybe what you heard was just you having a dream, after all Namjoon was right, you had done a lot since you were in your new form.
And one time when Hoseok woke up to take out the trash in the middle of the night, he swears he heard racoons talking to him- but we all thought he was just too tired and his mind was playing tricks on him. Maybe it was the same with you?
"Yah come on you two! Tae is starving!" Jimin spoke with a chuckle as he jogged down to walk beside the two of you. Wrapping an arm around both yours and Jungkook's neck.
You smiled with a nod, looking between him and Jungkook then facing the doors of the restaurant as you all approached it. Hopefully dinner would put you at ease.
~Time Skippy~
After you all had entered the restaurant, you noticed there wasn't too many people inside, which was equally good and bad.
Good because that meant you wouldn't have any trouble finding a table, or have to wait to long for your food, but bad because with no people around, the boys wouldn't have to hide their crackhead selves as they ate.
And when they ate, they would be at the peak of their crackhead energy. It was embarrassing at times but you loved it regardless- so okay maybe it wasn't BAD, just them being themselves.
"Yah where is the meat- I need meat" Namjoon spoke scrunching his nose up at the sight of the many lobsters on their table.
Taking a large bite of his own lobster Jungkook hummed singing with his cheeks stuffed. "I need you meat~"
"Jungkook please don't be like Jimin and start singing memes-"
"To be fair Hyung, you ordered a ridiculous amount of lobster-" Yoongi pointed out taking a swig of his wine.
"Oh so you want me to ask the waiter to take yours back?" Jin raised his brows eyeing the second oldest.
Yoongi pursed his lips grabbing his plate and pulled it closer to himself. "....No"
"Exactly, now hush and eat like Taehyung, he hasn't said a word since he sat down so that means he's eating well~" Jin praised continuing to eat his own plate of food.
Taehyung's head poked up, his cheeks filled with his noodles as he held a fork with meat attached to it in one hand and his other dipping into his bowl of soup.
"Wah you're eating like a pig- slow down or you'll choke-" Hoseok chuckled shaking his head as he took a small bite of his own food.
Jimin merely smirked at Hoseok's comment as Taehyung pouted then scrunched his nose to frown as he proceeded to eat. You on the other hand where just sitting watching all of the males as they joked and ate, you hadn't even touched your salmon.
"Princess you're not eating are you alright?" Yoongi nodded over to you from across his spot at the table, your ears perked from under your beanie and you nodded with a small sweet smile.
"Ah yeah uncle Yoongs, I'm just watching you all- it kinda entertains me more than eating I guess" you chuckled as you picked up your fork, beginning to dig into your meal.
"Ahh, you know- this actually reminds me of our very first meal together you know? The night Jungkook-ah brought you home and we all ate ramen in the dorms" Namjoon smiled revealing his dimples at you, as the waiter came placing his well waited for steak in front of him.
Jungkook's eyes brightened as he licked his lips nodding at the other. "Yeah Hyungs sent me out in the middle of the night to get them food when I could've been kidnapped"
"Oh shut up you muscle pig you're too heavy for anyone to kidnap" Jimin laughed leaning back in his chair, his sweet smile causing you to giggle as you looked back at a slightly offended Jungkook.
"Yah I was fifteen! you never know!" Jungkook huffed. You patted his hand gently nuzzling your head against his shoulder with a purr.
"Actually- I don't remember much of that night- what was all of your reactions when you first saw me..?" you blushed sitting up as you took a bite of your food nervously.
Everyone seemed to smile to themselves after your question, which made you a little uneasy and worried- but you were still curious.
"Well, I opened the door for Jungkook so I of course was the first to see you- but then Jungkook told me to 'sHuT uP' so I had to hold in my excitement" Jimin nodded giving a little glare to Jungkook who sat across from him.
Taehyung raised his hand and sat up clearing his throat as he took a sip of his Pepsi with a hum. "Well I was next to see you, since me and Jungkookie shared a room at that time, and he looked really excited and very fond over you so I was happy you made him happy"
You smiled pursing your lips as you looked up to Jungkook who was blushing a bit. "Then I was happy because I remember when you first saw me you pounced on me and made Kookie jealous" Tae laughed causing you to choke widening your eyes at his words.
You forgot when you were a young kitten you had a slight crush on him-
"Anyways- uh, uncle Hobi what about you?" you laughed a bit nervously as you felt the slight tension in Jungkook's body at Tae's words.
"Ahhh, when I saw you the first time I was actually even more excited than Jungkook- I was prepared to beg him to let me help take care of you but he wanted that job all to himself- I guess he wanted you to understand you belonged to him" Hoseok smiled with his mouth closed as he ruffled your head with his hand carefully.
"Yeah plus when our manager found out we had you in the dorm and that Jungkook had brought you he kinda made sure Jungkook was the one doing all your caretaking since he didn't want all of us getting side tracked when we were still in the process of debuting" Jin nodded cupping both of his cheeks as he rested his elbows on the table watching you.
"But when I saw you, you were automatically one of my children as well, it's just my instinct to be the 'eomma' of you all" he smiled winking at you as you giggled in return.
"I don't think I ever told you this Jungkook-ah- but actually our manager at that time made it up to me wether or not we would keep y/n or not-" Namjoon mentioned at Jungkook who raised his brows.
"Really Hyung? what made you say yes?- I mean I'm glad you did but- you know-" Jungkook questioned.
"Well when I saw y/n she was very tiny- and like Taehyung, I saw she made you really happy and she kinda helped you open up more with us since you were pretty shy" Namjoon replied as he gave a reassuring smile towards the younger.
"Thanks Hyung.." Jungkook smiled bowing his head once as he wrapped an arm around your shoulder protectively.
You purred pleased, becoming soft at all of their answers before you let your eyes fall to Yoongi.
"And you uncle Yoongs..?" you asked tilting your head, blinking once curiously since the older male had stayed pretty quiet the entire time.
Everyone seemed to stare at him awaiting his response, since of course he wasn't known for sharing his own feelings too often.
"Actually, I love animals so I was happy with you" Yoongi shrugged, his small answer making you pout a bit along with everyone else around the table, which he noticed.
"Aish alright alright, I thought you were really cute and I would baby you when you were a kitten and sometimes I'd have Jungkook almost get a heart attack because I'd sometimes take you to have naps with me in my office after I'd finish writing music because you helped me sleep" Yoongi sighed running a hand through his hair.
You smiled blushing as your tail twitched pleased at his words, everyone seemed to have loved you from the beginning. Most people wouldn't be so accepting of animals especially in their circumstances at that time.
As everyone proceeded to laugh and praise Yoongi for his answer, you kept your smile letting yourself slip into your own thoughts.
You saw how far they all had come from where they had started. Their company was basically nothing when they started their group, they didn't eat some nights yet they worked their asses off practicing hours on end. And through it all they had and cared for you, loved you, and basically raised you as they grew up themselves. It amazed you that from how much they've accomplished, still they are so genuine to themselves as well as with their feelings towards you. Even now that you've almost completely changed into an entirely different person, they still accept you like they did the very first day.
Finally you managed to snap yourself back to reality, looking back up to Yoongi who sighed with a smirk as he looked at everyone.
"Alright, who's getting the check"
A/n: I hope this isn't too sappy-
-ⓙ
166 notes · View notes