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utterlyotterlyx · 2 days

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In This Shirt

Azriel x Rhys!Sister!Reader

Summary - It had been a distant dream, to reunite with your mate, but you never believed you'd live long enough to experience it.

Warnings - angst, depression, trauma, swearing, fluff,

Like it had happened yesterday, Azriel could remember the moment he had found out that you, his beautiful perfect mate, and the Princess of Velaris, had been trapped Under The Mountain.

It had been Cassian who had told him, he was the only one strong enough to battle against Azriel's fury and be able to walk away from it. His eyes had been brimming with anguish but Azriel already knew, he felt that last rush of love flow through his body like a current before it vanished, leaving him cold and broken.

Cassian didn't even need to utter the words.

Y/N is gone. So is Rhys. They've been taken Under The Mountain. Amarantha has them.

Every day that passed made his world feel heavy, and dark. Azriel had forgotten the sound of your voice one day, and it had tore his heart straight from his chest. He knew that your voice was melodic, he often likened it to that of a sirens song, pretty and serene.

The fight to get to where you were, mated, married, was long and turbulent on its own. Rhys had refused to accept it, he was furious with Azriel for it. You were his youngest sister, the light of his life, and he knew Azriel would never hurt you, he had always doted on you, he never let you do anything by yourself, but your older brother had certainly struggled with the news.

Rhys had gone as far as to ban Azriel from being near you and sent you away to reside in the Day Court for a couple of months, truly believing that the distance would make you both see that a path together was not one to be walked. In actuality, the distance had almost killed you, the land spanning between you and your mate had settled so deep within your soul that you had become very ill.

Never wanting it to go so badly, but always feeling the need to protect you, Rhys saw the error of his ways and brought Azriel to you, and watched as you cried as the colour returned to your cheeks whilst Azriel held you in his arms.

From that moment on, Rhys had been your biggest supporter, and he had cried like a baby when he saw you in your wedding dress, telling you how much your mother and sister would have loved to see you looking so perfect.

The Light of Velaris had vanished that night, you and Rhys had both sacrificed yourself to Amarantha to protect your court, your home, and it was because of that fact alone that Azriel couldn't tear at the foundations of the fortress beneath the mountain to get you out.

It was rare to get a smile out of him, or anything notable really, but Cassian had been the one to find him that evening, when the stars were hurtling across the blank canvas of the night sky, crying on his knees in your shared bedroom. One of your dresses was furled between his fingers, his shadows coiled around the velvet of the skirt, breathing you in and wishing you were there with them, "I can't remember the sound of her voice," his voice was hoarse, like it was the first time he had spoken in years, which it had been, all he emitted were huffs and grunts, but no words.

Cassian had stepped into the room, the room that had become darker since you had left, just like the rest of the family home. Just like Velaris. Shirts and dresses were strewn about the room, some on the floor, some splayed across the bed, as if Azriel had sifted through your closet to find the thing that held the strongest scent of you, of nightfall and starlight, of the faint salted oceans and warm sand.

"Az," Cassian fell to his knees. pulling his brother into his side and wrapping his arms around his shoulders. Azriel had let his wings drop to the floor, he didn't bother holding them up anymore. "It's going to be alright. She's strong, they both are, they'll come back. She'd never leave you forever, you have a bargain to fulfil."

Azriel glanced to the bargain inking his forearm, a symphony of shadow and stars, holding one another like lovers in the night.

Then your wings came.

Your beautiful wings of midnight purple, so dark in their hue that many would think they were black, with the thick onyx membrane that Azriel always used to run his fingers along and smirk at your shivers, were gone. Packaged up with a blood red bow and dropped onto the table.

Azriel couldn't think about it. All he could do was pray to the Mother that you had at least been unconscious as they were taken from you. Part of him expected Rhys' to follow, but then the stories came, stories of Amarantha's whore and his ill-tempered sister who fought so hard that she was rid of the only things that gave her identity as punishment.

The wings were drooped at the tips, curling inward from the pain and torture from being away from their mate for so long. Comparing wingspans was something you did often, you were small compared to Azriel, your wings even smaller, but they were incredible things. Azriel could have sworn on countless occasions that he saw them hum with light whenever you were overcome with love.

The fiftieth year of your absence had crept in, and Azriel had forgotten what your lips tasted like, how the felt against his. There was nothing he could do, nothing anyone could do to bring you home, to him, where you belonged.

Until someone did.

Loud cries awoke him that night, he sat upright, the shirt you usually wore to bed nestled against his chest, the ever-faint aroma of you clinging to it like the last snow before spring. Frowning, Azriel shifted from the bed. He knew that voice, he knew that low rumbling power, and when he looked out of the window, his heart stopped.

Rhys was on his knees, bundled up into Mor's arms as he cried, but Azriel couldn't listen, he couldn't listen to the pain in his brothers voice, he couldn't stop himself from bursting from the room and running down the staircase.

His mind was blinded by hope and love and the mere possibility that you might have made it back too, "Where is my wife?"

Rhys rose to his feet, looking around the space as if he would find you not standing too far away, and frowning when he saw that you had vanished, "She was just here," Azriel could have crumbled at the words.

She was just here.

You were back. You had come back to him.

Rhys went to speak again but Azriel was already gone, he scoured the house top to bottom, checking every room and hallway, he went to the library, hoping to see you curled up in your spot like you had never left and the last fifty years had been nothing but a putrid nightmare.

Azriel's heart ached, he reached deep within him, deep into a place he couldn't bring himself to graze, and tugged.

Once. Twice.

The gates opened.

Azriel saw the golden thread pour from his chest, he saw it hum like a pulse as it stretched out and slithered around the corner, and his shadows danced outward to meet it, to wrap around the golden threat leading him to you, peering backward as if telling him to go.

Your mate, your husband, followed that thread, he followed it up the staircase and down the halls, breezing past the portraits hanging on the wall until he stood before the closed door of the bedroom. Azriel reached out a hand that was trembling and twisted the doorknob, softly pushing it open to reveal you.

Weight had dropped from you, and your posture was shrouded with fear as it hunched inward, your hugged yourself as your head surveyed the space. Then he saw the scars, the marred flesh poking from the back of the dress that hung from your body, a humiliation to everything you stood for, and his eyes landed on the rings of scarred flesh around your wrists and ankles, some still angry and red and peeling.

What had she done to you?

Shuddering, you turned around, stopping in your tracks at the male in the doorway being kissed by the moonlight pouring in from the thin slits of the curtains.

He was as beautiful as you remembered, hazel eyes that you had dreamt of nightly to allow you to hold onto some hope, the sharp jaw and cheekbones that you imagined your fingers brushing against, his lips that would often call out to you, not like you remembered the sound of his voice.

"Az?"

His breathing hitched and became shaky, you knew he was doing his best to not be overcome with emotion, not when you had every reason to cry and fall apart, "Say it again."

A soft sob broke through your lips at the sound, so low and hoarse, raw, but still teeming with warmth and beauty, of brighter tomorrows.

Say it again.

"Az."

Even in the dark he could see your face crumple and contort, and he rushed to you as you weakly reached for him, not being able to stop the sobs pulling from his chest either.

It was all there. Nightfall. Starlight. Salted oceans. Warm beaches.

Azriel cupped your face in his hands, so delicately, like he was afraid to break you, and tears fell from his eyes. It was you. Glazed orbs of plum peered up at him, your fingers reached to brush his tears away, "Is this some beautiful nightmare?"

Air rushed from his lungs, your eyes were glazed over, almost as if you were in some sort of trance, "No, my angel," his voice was a hush above a whisper, his fingers caressed your cheeks, "This is real."

"I'm home?"

Realisation hit you and your eyes became clear, "You're home."

"I thought I was lost," you placed your hands on his arms, and he watched your tattoo dance in the moonlight, a twin to his own, "I knew I'd find you."

Azriel pulled you in close, he cradled your head against his chest and held you tighter as the weight of the last fifty years crushed you, "My wings," you cried and Azriel's wings pinned themselves backward, dipping themselves from sight, "She took them. How can you love me? How can you see me as anything other than weak?"

Lifting your head to meet his, Azriel's finger trailed the line of your jaw, "You are not weak, my love. Weakness would weep at the mere thought of being associated with you, for they will never get to know what it's like to have courage in the most awful of odds. It would never get to know you, because it is not a part of you and it never will be. I love you, y/n. I have always loved you and always will. I would love you in any form, in any life, in any universe. You are mine. You are my everything. You are the strongest thing I have ever encountered and the most beautiful thing to walk the heavens."

"You would not save your entire court, your family, and your husband, and go through everything you have been through, and lost what you have lost, if you weren't the strongest creature on this planet," Azriel's lips curled downward, uneven breaths fell from his lips, "I forgot the sound of your voice."

In the worst moments of your torture, all you thought of was Azriel and this moment, the moment where it would have all been worth it just to see him healthy and alive, "I forgot yours too."

Azriel sighed, he pressed his forehead against yours and took a moment to just inhale you, to let the ocean breeze pour into his soul and bring him back to life, "Can I hold you?"

Nodding softly, you felt Azriel pull away, he peeled that dress from your body and pulled one of his jumpers over your head. He led you gently over to the bed, placing you down on the side of the mattress which had forgotten the shape of you and pulled you into him.

"I'm sorry for what this has done to you."

It hadn't escaped your eye at all, the curls of onyx under his eyes, the droop of his wings, the worry that clung to him and haunted his every step. It may have been awful Under The Mountain, but you'd never want to be the one waiting for their love to come home. It would destroy you.

Azriel didn't say anything as his fingers raked over your scalp, loosening all the tension in your mind. The scent of cedar and night-kissed mountains flooded you and you nestled into that spot on his chest, reaching behind you to pull his wing over your side and smiling softly at the feeling of it. To have wings.

"I'm home," Azriel just held onto you tighter, moulding your body to the curves of his own, pressing kisses into your hairline and running his fingers through your hair.

Then your breathing fell soft, your eyes had drifted closed, and you looked peaceful, a soft smile lingered on your lips.

Azriel slept better than he ever had that night, knowing that you were back, that you had come home to him, and knowing that no matter where you walked, Azriel would always follow.

Author's Note

I love himmmmmmmm

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oneofstarkskids · 1 day

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don't say that (part 3)

part 1 , part 2

pairings: bucky barnes x reader

genre: ANGST

summary: sad, beautiful, tragic by taylor swift

*not my gif*

you walked down the cold street with a note buried deep in your pocket. it held all the words you wanted to say, but didn't. you could only hope that it wasn't too late.

you knocked on the door softly, your heart racing. the locks clicked one by one from the other side until it finally swung open. "hi," you whispered.

the red-head looked down, she didn't know what to say to you. she preferred not to say anything at all.

"i know you probably don't ever want to see me again and so do with this what you will, but i had to get it off my chest." you handed her the slightly crumpled letter. you gave her a hopeful smile. one that simultaneously felt like a goodbye.

with that, you walked away. natasha didn't read the letter until you left and you didn't look back. maybe you would never know if she could forgive you, but you would wait.

you go back to your empty apartment. you would honestly rather be anywhere but here. as you look around, the memories those walls held seem to come to life right in front of you. you almost didn't notice the hot tears rolling down your cheeks.

the way you'd laugh as he spun you around or kissed on countertops. it felt tragic to think about. you often wondered...if things had begun differently, would you have had your happy ending?

it didn't seem to matter anymore. he was gone. you didn't even know where. maybe steve had mentioned him staying with him for a while, but it all felt like a blur. you didn't care where he was if he wasn't here with you.

you cursed yourself for thinking that way. this is for the best, you reminded yourself. but time was sure taking its sweet time erasing him.

your mind wandered back to that night. the night you freaked out on him. the night he left. your hand went up to your heart, trying to hold it together. he probably hated you now. natasha hated you. your friends would never see you the same. and you deserved all of it.

but just for a moment, you had it. the kind of love they say is like magic. the kind that makes your head spin. it really was just the two of you in your own world before that world fell apart.

he called you. just once. you answered, of course.

it ended in a fight.

"just come back home," you begged.

"you wanted space. i'm giving you space," he said harshly.

you rolled your eyes, "you're the one who called me."

"because i still fucking love you. not everyone can just fall out of love at the flip of a switch," he shouted on the other end.

you squeezed your eyes closed as your voice shook, "i never stopped loving you. i never said that."

he continued talking like your words meant nothing to him, "you didn't have to."

"oh my god! would you just try to listen for once!" you cried.

there was a long silence between the two of you.

you took a deep breath and mustered the strength to do what needed to be done. "goodbye, bucky."

he heard a final beep and clenched his jaw as tears pricked his eyes.

it was over.

but then again, how could something be gone if it never existed in the first place?

taglist:

@immyowndefender @ozwriterchick @vicmc624 @eclecticpatrolroadlawyer

#marvel #mcu #fanfiction #avengers #bucky barnes #james bucky buchanan barnes #bucky barnes angst #sad fic #taylor swift #sad beautiful tragic #bucky barnes x reader

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icallhimjoey · 3 days

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Reinvent Love

♥ ♥ Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader

Summary: You and Joe are treading new waters. You’re no longer flatmates, but still close. More than friends, but nothing defined. Nothing labeled. Determined to not lose what you have, though. But, can you?

CW / disclaimer: rpf, fem!reader, language, adult themes, jealousy, accusations, soft fluff, lil smutty, reader has hair long enough to tie up, season 3 of my flatmate!joe

Author’s note: oohhh big changes! we are TALKING! with our MOUTHS! what a time. This is the last part of flatmate!Joe - for real this time. I truly hope you've enjoyed what is still my most plotless (imo) bit of writing, lmk your thoughts <3

Wordcount: 4.4K

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five

There was something living inside of your chest.

It was only small, but definitely there. Soft. Vulnerable. Silently shrinking. It had gotten hurt and was wearing its bruises on the outside. When it got poked, you could feel the shooting pains as it curled in on itself more. It would find the safest spots to squeeze its eyes shut and you’d mentally tell it, it’s okay. You’re okay.

It wasn’t okay.

Maybe therapy wasn’t an insane suggestion, anymore, at this point. You felt like you were protecting a child to the point where you couldn’t let it see the light of day. Couldn’t let it go outside and play. Couldn’t let it have friends – let it meet Joe. Couldn’t let it experience anything joyful, because if you did, it’d probably experience more hurt too.

But it was hurting anyway.

And now it was only pain it got to feel. Never joy. Just bruises and cuts. Scrapes that slowly formed thick drops of blood that hardened into scabs which pulled at your skin and eventually turned into scars.

You wished you’d known that before you locked it up inside.

There was something living inside of your chest, and it carefully wished it could speak up and be heard.

When you’d walked out of your bedroom and into the living room, a surprised Josh raised his eyebrows at you. He was leaning back into the sofa and had an acoustic guitar in his lap that he was absentmindedly playing whilst he was watching TV on a low volume. The guitar playing stopped when he saw you and didn’t pick back up as he watched you walk over, pillow in hand, facial expression drained.

“Hey, what’s up?” the guitar got moved onto the floor.

You didn’t answer when you put your pillow down on the opposite end of the sofa and took the blanket you’d slept under before. You curled up, ignored Josh who tried to ask if you were okay a couple of times as you stared at the TV. He asked if you wanted to talk about it. Said you probably should talk about it if you didn’t want Josh to think about this all night.

“It’s going to keep me up if I don’t know if you’re okay.”

You ignored it all, didn’t give a shit if Josh was going to get a good night’s sleep, and eventually turned over and faced the back of the sofa. It sent the message it needed to. It took just another moment before Josh turned off the TV, and then the lights as he left you alone.

This was stupid.

But you were stubborn.

You were stubborn and were going to go to sleep on your sofa, even though you were the one that lived here, and maybe Joe should be the one to sleep on the sofa.

Or actually, he could go home. To his own flat. Where all things were his, and the only things that felt like they were yours were the plants you’d brought in and the toothbrush you’d left by his sink.

Yea.

Joe could just leave.

You didn’t care that he was still paying rent.

But you didn’t actually get up to go and tell him that. Of course not. You just wallowed in thought. In all the would-dos and would-says. Shivered because this new stupid blanket Josh got wasn’t thick enough to keep you warm throughout the night.

You made yourself cry inside of that soup of goopy misery. Felt what lived inside of your chest as it drowned and mentally apologised to it when, after three hours of not being able to actually go to sleep, after three hours of anger that turned into fragile neediness, you decided to get up and make your way back.

Find Joe.

Because, and fuck him for this, Joe always knew how to fucking fix it.

And there was something so silly about walking down the hallway of your flat with tears staining your cheeks to sneak into Joe’s old bedroom. To find Joe inside of the bed there, the lay-out of the room still the same. Joe’s side of the bed still the same.

The click of the door closing made Joe lift his head up in an attempt to see into the dark.

He hadn’t expected you at all, so for a second, he thought that maybe you’d just walked in to get something. Your phone. Or your charger. But then you walked around to your side of the bed and got under the covers. It was too dark to see your face, but you found Joe’s warm body and snuggled up. Pressed your forehead to his jaw and hummed through a sigh and Joe didn’t need to see your face to hug you closer. Didn’t need to see if you’d been crying to wrap arms around, and to tangle legs, and to press a small kiss into your hair.

You wiggled as you settled and sighed as you sunk deeper into the mattress. You could deal with the disappointment within yourself in the morning.

“I’m sorry.” Joe whispered into the dark, and you decided you could also deal with your disappointment in Joe in the morning, so you softly whined and said, “Pause.”

“Pause?”

“Mhm.”

Everything could just be paused. Postponed. Just for a few hours. You just needed to get some sleep.

Joe wasn’t in a position to not accept that. His heart felt full with the nostalgia he unexpectedly found with you sneaking into this room in order to get some sleep. It used to be like this. He was in the same location. In the exact same spot. Just, everything was yours now.

Me too, Joe thought.

Everything was yours now, including Joe. Whether you wanted him or not.

He squeezed you tighter and saw that you got to sleep. Traced finger tips across skin that warmed under the covers, and tickled into your hair by the nape of your neck, and he could feel how you were drifting off and, fuck off, he was yours.

He’d tell you in the morning.

Joe was going to tell you in the morning.

He would.

When Joe woke up, you were gone.

Fucking figures, Joe thought.

The private moment of waking up together that would’ve granted him the security and comfortability to say whatever needed saying was gone now.

Joe rubbed both hands over his face and scolded himself for not waking up as you had gotten out.

But it was fine.

There’d be another moment for it, he’d make sure.

Venturing out of your bedroom, you weren’t in the bathroom. Nor in the living area. He did, however, find Josh in the kitchen.

After awkward but polite good mornings shared, there was some uncomfortable shuffling around. Joe had made breakfast thousands of times in this kitchen, and he was already reaching to open the fridge when he realised that, actually, that was a weird thing to do. He no longer lived there. He couldn’t just go into cupboards and find the food that he knew was there – he knew exactly where the oatmeal went. He knew exactly where to find the cinnamon to sprinkle on top. How the coffee machine worked. Which cupboard to open to find the mugs.

Joe opted to busy himself making a coffee first. The machine was right there on the counter – less weird to reach for it and prepare himself a morning brew.

And Josh was cool about it. Opened a cupboard for him to fetch him a mug. It was a bit of an awkward dance, but a friendly one, tight smiles shared as Josh prepared his own breakfast.

It wasn’t until the loud noise of coffee beans being ground up that Joe decided to just… ask.

Might as well act like last night actually happened.

“Sorry about last night, mate,”

“Oh yea, no worries, I didn’t…” Josh frowned and shook his head as he scraped some butter onto his toast. He didn’t finish his sentence. Didn’t need to. Took a bite before buttering the second piece.

“Have you seen her?” Joe tried sounding as casual as he could, but failed miserably.

It was as honest and vulnerable of a question he was ever going to ask Josh. It revealed he had no idea where the fuck you’d gone, which in and of itself revealed that there was probably a reason you hadn’t told him.

But Josh was relaxed about it.

“Yea. Morning run. You just missed her, I think.”

And it took all within Joe to pretend that didn’t surprise him as much as it did. He just nodded. Pretended like that was a normal thing to hear about. Morning run. Sure. Miss be-useful-first-thing, what the fuck? When had you picked up that habit?

The coffee machine stopped whirring, and Joe took his coffee. Went for a sip immediately and instantly burnt his tongue. Rookie move.

“Is um… is everything okay? I don’t want to pry, but,” Josh asked as Joe moved around the island to sit down.

“Ah, well… you know,”

No, actually, Josh didn’t know.

Which was good.

Joe didn’t really want him to know.

Joe didn’t really want to explain.

Couldn’t really explain.

Where the fuck would he even begin?

“Hmm, yea,” Josh accepted the non-answer easily. “She seemed upset, but wouldn’t really say anything.”

Joe had to suppress a smile.

Of course you hadn’t fucking said anything.

“I asked like fifty times if she was okay, but she… I don’t know, she fully ignored me I guess. Kind of went catatonic on me a little.”

Joe drank his coffee and nodded.

“To be fair though,” Josh made big eyes at himself, “I was being really fucking annoying. I would’ve rolled over and ignored me too, I think.”

Both men let huffs of air escape them in silent laughter.

Then a moment of silence followed where Joe drank his coffee and Josh ate his toast. Joe realised he didn’t like how Josh knew things about you that he didn’t, but the upside was that it was incredibly useful, actually.

Josh talked where you... well, you did not.

“Did she cry?”

He wanted to know.

“No, she just… watched TV for a bit. I don’t know, she seemed tired so I went to bed shortly after to make sure she could get some sleep.”

That meant that, if you’d cried, you had waited for Josh to leave the room. Joe didn’t know if that was a comforting thought or not.

It didn’t take much longer for Josh to finish his toast and to casually suggest for Joe to make his own breakfast. Mentioned that everything on the bottom shelves of the fridge was yours before he walked out, and this morning was just full of surprises.

You split the fridge?!

What kind of sensible flatmate behaviour was this?!

When it was you and Joe, your stuff would just be thrown in wherever. None of it sorted. Joe would end up having your oatmilk in his coffee and you’d end up using his cheese in your omelettes.

Actually, he remembered how this had been the source of bickering for more than once. More than a couple of times. You would fall out over Joe having your food all the time, if he really thought about it. But it was always playful. Always something fun about it. A reason to swear at him until you made yourself laugh, and a reason for him to shut you up with poking fingers in your sides. The back and forth had never prompted you to split the fridge.

Had you and Joe ever been normal flatmates?

Probably not, he guessed.

Joe decided against breakfast in the end and just finished his coffee. Waited until you got back from your morning run, which he still had a hard time wrapping his head around, and when he eventually heard the front door open, he got up to make you a drink.

You knew Joe was still there by his coat that was hung up by the front door.

Fine.

It was fine.

You were sweaty and sticky and hot and you could feel your heartbeat in your face, but it was fine.

Walking into the kitchen, you were welcomed by Joe in jeans and a T-shirt, bare feet, hair stupid, already holding out a glass of juice for you.

You took it and refrained from talking as you had a sip. Looked at him over the glass though, and you hoped that what Joe would see was determination. Strength. That he saw someone who wasn’t going to take bullshit, because you weren’t.

You’d just gone for your very first morning run for fuck’s sake.

For a moment Joe just looked right back at you. Watched you have the drink he poured for you. You had bits of hair stuck to your flushed neck and had to breathe through flared nostrils. It was wildly attractive, if you asked him.

“Morning run?”

You caught a small smirk from Joe that you turned away from. Couldn’t look at him be cute when you were supposed to be mad at him still.

Then, in a rogue move, Joe opened the freezer and took a single look inside to find a frozen pizza he took out and tossed onto the counter.

That was meant to mean something.

You gave it a blank stare as Joe looked at you and you sighed.

“Hey,” Joe tried getting your attention back on him, but instead, you put the glass down and turned around. Walked out. Went to your bedroom.

Joe followed.

“Hey,” Joe tried again, stood in your doorway, watching you collect an outfit. “Talk to me.”

It went ignored.

This was the worst part of not having an ensuite; having to take just enough clothes into the bathroom to change in there. You and Josh weren’t exactly on a just-a-towel level yet. Bathrobe felt scandalous too, somehow, even for the five steps it took to get from your bedroom into the bathroom.

Josh could see you in clothes or not see you at all.

Joe easily moved aside when you walked past him, out of your room, and you looked at him as you did.

“Come on. Tell me what you’re thinking.” Joe tried again.

It didn’t feel like you were fully ignoring him, but you weren’t answering him either.

You were thinking Joe was being an idiot.

You were trying, had been trying really hard to meet him where he wanted to be met, and then he just went and let you know he didn’t trust… you? Your flatmate? The situation he’d created with his own two hands?

Felt unfair.

You didn’t say any of that though. Just walked into the bathroom, and then left the door open.

Joe would get the hint, you thought.

He did, but only when you started peeling off your sweat-soaked top with the door wide open, still.

Joe moved quick. Sort of scrambled to get into the bathroom, to lock the door behind him, and then to help you get your top over your head as you struggled with the damp fabric around your shoulders.

You undressed, and Joe helped, and you made eye-contact the whole time.

You could see how he was searching. Trying to find whatever you weren’t saying in your eyes, his chin tucked in, his eyes pleading, all soft and rounded.

Joe tried.

He really tried.

You were getting naked right in front of him, body flushed and glistening with sweat and he got a good look as you stretched your body over the bath to turn the shower on and then you kept staring right at him as you removed more clothes and you were doing something with your eyes and Jesus fucking Christ, Joe was trying.

Trying to not grab you by the shoulders and give you a good shake.

Trying not to let his eyes skirt downward because you’d just removed your sports bra and, oof, man, that was a lot of skin on show.

Joe was trying not to hold you by the face and trying not to get real close and trying not to whisper words into your mouth in hopes of coaxing out some of your own. Which… he failed. Because he did get your face into both his hands just after you’d reached up to untie your hair. He did get real close. And he did ask you once more to just talk to him, please.

You handled the close eye-contact fine.

Handled the cupping of your face fine.

And Joe couldn’t stop searching your face.

Was there truly no budging?

Was this… was this it?

Had he just gone and fucked it all up for himself? Had the big plan behind his move imploded because he couldn’t deal with the fact that you were now… no longer in his flat with him? Joe’s mind tried to make sense of it, but all he could really come up with, was that you probably didn’t even consider the two of you to be together.

You’d never talked about that.

Had never mentioned it.

Hadn’t labeled it.

You were just close flatmates that weren’t actually flatmates anymore, and… and now what?

He just wanted you to talk.

You were just in your underwear now, stood in a small bathroom and Joe ticked off all boxes in his mind: you were alone, check. You were close, check. You were in your safe space, check.

The shower was hot now, slowly filling the room with warm steam and, fuck, if you would just fucking talk.

Joe was about to repeat himself. Was about to say it again. But then he saw it.

Something changed.

Your eyes softened and your mouth tightened as you tried to keep your lips wobbling. As you tried to not let what was living inside of your chest get out. When you started blinking more rapidly as your eyes stung with tears, you also began avoiding eye-contact and, good. This was good. Joe let you go then, and watched as you got out of your last piece of clothing before you stepped into the shower.

You left the shower curtain open, and Joe thought he’d never undressed quite so fast.

You’d never shared a shower before.

Something about it felt really momentous, but you didn’t have the opportunity to think about it for too long. The thought vanished just as quickly as it had crossed your mind, because when Joe stepped into the bath behind you and held you by the shoulders before curling his arms around to hold you close, you decided that, actually, you were going to talk.

“You left,” you started, voice far thinner than you wanted it to be.

“I know.”

“You left and you’re making me feel bad about it.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not fair. It’s not my fault you moved out,” you reached up to hold onto Joe’s arm across your front and you felt how your eyebrows knitted together when you softly followed with, “Is it?”

And, fuck.

Something snapped into Joe’s chest.

Something swelled and popped.

He didn’t know what that was, all he knew was that it hurt.

“No!” Joe tightened his arms before he let you go enough to turn around. “No, baby, of course not, is that– do you think I left because of you?”

You looked at each other, and for a moment, Joe didn’t know if he was looking at shower water or tears that were running down your face.

You gave a small shrug before Joe lifted his hands to your face to wipe at your cheeks. If they were tears, they had no business being there, so he needed them gone.

“I didn’t leave this place because of you. Hey,” you avoided eye-contact, so he grabbed hold of you by the face again where both your of your hands found his wrists. “Look at me. Look– I did not move out because of you, all right?”

Well, he did… but, it was nuanced. He moved out for the both of you. He had to be careful. He couldn’t say the wrong thing and ruin what already felt ruined enough.

You gave a tiny nod that he could feel more than he could see, and you looked so fucking sad, Joe couldn’t help but move in to try and kiss some of it from your face.

He hoped you believed him.

You were naked in a shower together, of which Joe was getting none of the stream, and you were trembling because of things Joe had said and done and all he could think to do was hold you.

So he did.

It was a terrible waste of water, but it felt so incredibly necessary for him to not pull back until you did. Let you take the lead. Curl an arm around your head, the other around your waist, and follow your pace.

Joe felt how you were trying to control your breathing, and, you were right. He wasn’t allowed to be the cause.

He was the reason why you were feeling the way you were feeling and he realised he had been, for a while, probably.

Joe pushed you.

Joe had been pushing you.

He shouldn’t have.

He shouldn’t have left and he shouldn’t have tried with all his might to keep you as close to him as you had been before and he shouldn’t have taken his jealousy out on you and he shouldn’t have repeatedly asked you to talk to him because look! Look what all of it had lead to?

Your lead.

Your time.

Your pace.

No more making you meet him halfway.

Joe was going to wait for you.

He would.

It didn’t fucking matter how long it was going to take you, or if you’d even get there at all. He was going to wait. If that meant actually befriending Josh like a normal person, then he was just going to have to befriend Josh like a normal person.

Joe held you close until your finger tips stopped digging into his skin so much, and then he softly said, “I’ll wait.”

That made you look up at him.

“I’ll wait for you. I can be patient.”

And, you frowned. Because what the fuck was Joe talking about.

“But…” you started, and you felt it then. You could feel whatever was inside of your chest collect every little speck of bravery it could find within your body. It pulled it from the muscles in your legs and from the bones in your arms. Found some hidden inside the beating of your heart and then some more in the humid shower air inside your lungs. And then, it said it.

“I’m right here.”

Joe blinked at you. Didn’t get it.

“I’m right– Joe, what do you mean, you’ll wait. Have we not been– is this not what we’ve been…” you furrowed your brow at how words seemed to escape you. All bravery gone.

Joe saw.

Heard what you were saying and, before you even fucking knew what was happening, Joe had both his arms around your waist and lifted you up, effectively pressing his face right into your tits as he scared the living daylights out of you because you were in the bath.

“Joe–” you shrieked, but were quickly shut up by his mouth that pressed to yours before your feet had even properly touched down again.

“I love you.” Joe squeezed it from his own mouth right into yours. Barely got the words out normal as he didn’t want to stop kissing. Didn’t want to break contact, lips and hands doing the most.

“Joe,” you laughed, giving his shoulders a light push before you felt something against your hip, and– oh.

“No, I’m sorry. Ignore that. I love you. Did you hear me? I love you. I said I love–”

“I love you too.”

Joe froze before he groaned with both eyes squeezed shut, and you looked down to see how hard that had made him.

“I love you too,” you repeated yourself and saw it jump, leaking already, and Jesus, that was quick. This was a fun game actually. Talking suddenly didn’t seem so bad.

“Hey, I love you. Did you hear me? I said I lovemmpf–” Joe got a hand over your mouth just for the sheer agony of what it was doing to him.

You took your shot and bit right into his fingers.

“Stop it, you’ve got to– you can’t–”

And, yea, you could actually. You shut Joe up with kisses of your own this time.

You were sharing your first shower together, and it felt sort of momentous.

It felt momentous because you’d shared words that had been stuck in the back of your throat for a while now.

It felt momentous because Joe just told you that he loved you.

It felt momentous because you said it right back and everything about it felt right.

It felt momentous because you were going to have loud shower sex and Josh was likely going to hear you and you actually didn’t care about it. You cared more about the pizza that was slowly defrosting on the kitchen counter which actually sounded like the perfect breakfast food, if you were being honest.

You and Joe were just flatmates, but not.

Were just close, but more.

Were in love. Had said the words now, for the other to hear with their ears, and wasn’t that a shocking turn of events after last night?

Joe couldn’t explain it if he tried.

Didn’t really want to either.

As long as you knew. As long as you understood.

And you did. The proof was in the pudding.

Something felt alive in Joe’s chest. And in yours too.

Maybe someday, they could meet.

Have a chat.

Talk things through.

Or not.

They could also just look at each other. Sit on the sofa. Curl into each other and eat pizza. Watch the first ten minutes of films before they’d doze off together. Make fun of plants that got overwatered in a desperate attempt to keep them alive because they were buddies with yours and Joe could never be responsible for the death of plants that had friends, were you joking?

They’d call you idiots.

And, yea you were.

But it was fine.

You were just close. In love. Together. And that didn’t need explaining. As long as you knew and understood, that was all that mattered.

You were all that mattered.

Your lead.

Your time.

Your pace.

Your love.

the end

---

The Taglisted

@ali-in-w0nderland, @alwayslindie, @babybluebex, @capricornrisingsstuff, @chaoticgood-munson,

@choke-me-eddie, @demonsanddemogorgons, @did-it-work, @dirtyeddietini, @djoseph-quinn,

@dolcevit4, @eddies-puppet, @emma-munson, @emotionaldreamer, @everythinghasafacee,

@figmentofquinn, @ghost-proofbaby, @ghostinthebackofyourhead, @hanahkatexo, @harringtonfan4,

@hazelenys, @jewellethief, @joesquinns, @keikoraven, @kennedy-brooke,

@lovelyblueness, @manda-panda-monium, @mandyjo8719, @mexicanfolklore, @munsonluvrr,

@munson-mjstan, @nadixq, @nglharry, @notverywise, @pepperstories,

@phyllosilicate-s, @royale1803, @sherrylyn628, @sidthedollface2, @solzi1420,

@songforeddiemunson, @sweetberry47, @take-everything-you-can, @thebellenouvelle, @tlclick73,

@werepartnersnow, @winterwakesthewolf, @witchwolflea, @yelyahcardella, @yunirgo

taglist currently full, sorry

#joseph quinn #joe quinn #joseph quinn x you #joe quinn x you #joseph quinn x reader #joe quinn x reader #joe quinn fanfic #joe quinn fanfiction #joseph quinn fanfic #joseph quinn fanfiction #reinvent love #define close #explain us

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animentality · 3 days

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not to be a boomer, but I do worry about the current generation of kids being raised with iPads.

first off. some of them literally can't hold a pencil because their parents never gave them physical toys to grip and play with, developing their fine motor skills.

you might ask why do we even need to learn how to write physically anymore- well, frankly, because if you're stranded on an island somewhere and you need to write HELP, you might not have the strength to hold a pencil, but you can at least hold a stick.

but on a more general note.

writing by hand helps you remember things better. it forces you to focus in a way that typing something word for word does not. a person can transcribe what a professor says without even thinking about it.

someone writing notes has to consider what to write and what to omit. it also activates more parts of your brain, forcing you to flex the parts of your brain related to learning and communicating, while also engaging the part of your brain dedicated to muscle control and precision.

but in general, I think the issue isn't even oh technology is bad and kids are getting dumber.

you can have PowerPoints AND take physical notes. that could help you learn even better than the olden days where you just had to remember everything that was thrown at you. or read very limited, out of date books.

the problem is that the generation that raised/is raising this generation of children just doesn't understand the true impact that all this technology will have on their kids. or they just don't care.

because our generation had the internet yes, but it wasn't widely accessible for most of us, sharing our computers with the entire family in the kitchen. it was also the internet in its infancy, where it wasn't quite so predatory, when it was lawless and disturbing, yes, but it wasn't weaponized by corporations trying to sell you things and steal your data, it wasn't flooded with bots and ai and all sorts of things that the human brain can't even distinguish as real or fake, especially when you're just a little kid.

that generation still played with physical toys. we celebrated when it snowed and we could stay home.

we also came from a gen that still, vaguely, cared about some form of community and had third spaces for kids to hang out.

90s children, who still had some memories of both playing outside on a playground and playing Mario Kart on the Nintendo 64 with their friends, who both went out to the mall and had a club penguin account.

we grew up with laptops and smart boards. maybe some of us had them in high school or college, but we still physically went to class and developed relationships. learned uncomfortable things about ourselves and others, the way humans do.

met new people and were exposed to new ideas, away from our parents. but not from some fucking influencer trying to sell us Sephora products.

we had to study for things, instead of just being able to Google shit for some bullshit online test.

which is also something that really concerns me. so many kids today can so easily Google answers for every test, and while tests don't ultimately matter in the real world, they still provide some basis for things that do matter.

like I'm just imagining medical students googling how to perform an appendectomy on the day of, and just using a YouTube tutorial to guide them through, and shuddering.

there are some things that the Internet can't teach you.

there always will be.

but I don't think my generation is really helping their kids find the balance that we were given naturally growing up.

the boomers and gen xers had fist fights and we had bullying someone online until they committed suicide.

and now kids use AI to spread fake nudes of girls.

but the laws haven't caught up with a lot of this stuff yet, and certainly won't while we have dinosaurs running our government. and culture takes even longer to change than laws.

I also worry because I know how badly covid affected kids worldwide. how they struggle to read and do math, because remote learning just isn't good for kids.

and I can't even blame them!! I literally teleworked for 4 years and even I can admit that I'm not nearly as good at focusing at home as I am in the office.

it's hard for kids with social anxiety and disabilities, yes I know, I know, trust me, I have social anxiety, and as a hybrid worker ATM, I highly doubt I'd be able to handle 5 days a week in the office.

but it's also not particularly good for kids to stay home ALL the time, entertaining themselves in their room and never being challenged, and never meeting people other than their parents.

the iPad is more of a symbol of that problem than the direct problem.

if your entire... world view is limited to what you can see on your iPad... I mean what a terrible world view you'll have.

you're a 10 year old using TikTok and all you ever see is the same opinion over and over until you can scarcely comprehend people who have an opposing opinion.

you see fake videos that seem so real. that must be real, and so comforting, aren't they, those videos that seem so real?

you let 30 year old influencers who are trying to grift people shape your world view.

and it's not even your fault.

your parents aren't doing anything to help you.

you're young and you're being barraged with entertainment and fake educational videos and how to guides that accidentally create mustard gas in your toilet.

your parents should be teaching you to find a balance between these things. they should be telling you what's real and caution you about the things you see.

they should limit your fucking time on the iPad actually. take you to a fucking park and let you roll in the mud or some shit.

and then when you're a teenager and a young adult, then you can start deciding for yourself what you believe.

but a lot of these weird millennial/gen z parents, man. just let your 1 year old scroll through vids on TikTok while you don't even talk to them or look at them once.

maybe it's because they don't see the harm in it, but I don't get it.

adults can watch TikTok all day and know, ahhh this is bad for me. I'm not doing anything I actually want to be doing.

adults can see other adults doing dumb shit and say ah you're sponsored. someone paid you money to say and do that. silly.

but kids are just kids.

they don't have discipline and frankly, that's not their responsibility. that is yours.

you should be teaching them that they can't have everything in life at their finger tips at all times, actually.

the iPad doesn't solve all of your problems, nor will it think critically for you.

so I worry about if humanity can really keep up with its own technology.

our species is still in its infancy, believe it or not.

so maybe these are just growing pains, and future generations will be able to look back on this era and know the proper balance.

but as someone living in 2024.

I wonder just how much pain is left before we really mature and either make it or break it.

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myoonmii · 2 days

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My second and final art entry for @bbcmerlin-reversebang !

Got to collaborate with the amazing @approachroach /Alex who took my guilty favorite prompt of injured merlin and created an absolute masterpiece of a fic with it!

You can read it here, I’m so happy to have worked on this with you thankyou for all your patience and hard work!! 💖

Fic summary :

“I was here a week ago,” Arthur blurted out. “Before, it was a desert—it almost killed me. Now it’s a rainforest.” Arthur stated. “I’ve only ever heard about rainforests in tales about magic, and in those stories, the magic was dormant. Its only purpose was to keep the forest alive. Here, I can even feel the magic in the air. And if I’m honest, it feels a little like coming home. It feels safe.” He stated it so simply Merlin almost didn’t realise the magnitude of what he was admitting.

His admission, if he was anyone else, would have him hanged.

Arthur Pendreagon is a lot of things; he is his fathers son. Camelot’s Prince. The Captain of the Knights. Himself, is rarely one of them.

What if, for once, he was not the things he was supposed to be and was simply, himself? He confesses something he had never really thought much of and somehow everything else does not matter anymore. He is himself and that is all that is important, he is finally, who he is meant to be; the Golden Prince

#merlin #merthur #bbc merlin #reverse bigbang #merlin reverse big bang #injured merlin #my beloved #arthur learns about the extend of merlins trauma for him #arthur pendragon #merlin fanart #merthur fanart #merlin fanfic #merthur fanfic #merthur ao3 feed

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jwnstars · 17 hours

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제이! boyfie! jay x reader 🗒️ synopsis boyfriend jay plays with your hair and cuddling you because you cried until you felt safe and went back to sleep. warning. very sad and short :,(

# (separation anxiety at its finest.)

“I’m back home pretty, let me see your gorgeous face.” your boyfriend, jay, was busy today. he left early, and to your surprise, he came back home late. and your separation anxiety definitely did not help. you found nights without jay empty, not just because you were alone, but you felt empty when your other half wasn’t in sight. “love?” jay called out to you, but you didn’t reply as he was still looking for you.

he would expect you to be in YOUR spot on the big couch you guys shared, laying down while eating your favorite ice cream tub, watching the kdrama you wait weeks for a new episode. but no, it seemed like tonight was different. it was like you didn’t wait for jay. and that was rare, because jay knew how much you would miss him at night so that’s why he would try to come home as fast as possible to kiss you and cuddle you endlessly.

jay quietly strolled to your guy’s room, peeping through the gap in the door and to his expectation, you were curled up into a ball. covered by the comforter that barely even covered anything, seeming like you were cold.

jay smirked, he found you cute. he thought, maybe, you just went to sleep because you were exhausted and tired. so you just gave in and went to bed, “even when your snoring, your gorgeous.” he giggled, getting on the bed slowly approaching you. he intended to kiss you on the lips and express his love, however; with his sharp hearing, he heard your sniffling. hiccups. he was a tad bit stunned, he didn’t know how to react if you were crying. “oh my baby.. look at me.” he said so.. so soft. so gentle. with all the care he could ever use.

you slowly turned to him, revealing your red puffy eyes. you cried, it devastated him. “my poor baby, why are you crying? you shouldn’t cry.” he cupped your face, bringing you closer to his face. “I’m hideous right now, jay. I just cried, so I don’t look my best.” you looked down and frowned, a bit embarrassed. “hideous? fuck, love. never call yourself that. that shouldn’t even be in your vocabulary. your crying over here, but all I can think of right now is how your so pretty when you cry.”

“now come over here, I’ll show you how much I care.” jay opened his arms and you immediately came to him, engulfing into his warm presence. he held you, so close. as if you guys were interlinked. jay didn’t want you to cry, he wanted you to know he loved you.

“oh baby don’t cry.. your too precious.” he wiped your tears, looking at you with so much love. you were rested on his chest, and he softly and slowly rubbing your back, his lips were near your ears, and when his voice touched your ears, it felt warm and tingly.

jay started playing with your hair, removing the hair from your face and tucking it behind your ear. “don’t cry anymore. I’m here.”

“pretty, pretty girl.”

@ jwnstars !! sigh. why isn’t he my bf.

I FORGOT TO POST/PUBLISH THIS. this has been sitting in my drafts unfinished. I feel like this is one of my most detailed works bc I fricking suck lmao 😿🎀

#enhypen #enhypen fluff #enhypen imagine #enhypen scenarios #enhypen x reader #enhypen fan fiction #enhypen drabbles #jay enhypen x you #jay enhypen x y/n #jay enha #jay enhypen x reader #jay x reader #jay enhypen #enhypen jay #jay park au #jay park #jay enhypen drabble #jay drabbles

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munsons-hellfire · 2 days

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How Did It End? | Lucien Vanserra

SUMMARY: He chose Elain over you, but your mates are there to help rebuild what he broke when the relationship ended.

PAIRINGS: Poly!Feysand x Reader, Lucien Vanserra x Reader (Past), Lucien Vanserra x Elain Archeron

CONTENT WARNING: SFW, heartbreak, poly!feysand, angst, fluff, happy ending

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Inspired by How Did It End? by Taylor Swift. This song is one of my favorites of TTPD: The Anthology. When I was listening to this on repeat, it just got me thinking about characters from ACOTAR, and I just thought this best fit Lucien. I hope you enjoy this!

WORD COUNT: 2.0K

Lucien Vanserra was many things, that much you knew. Before Elain had come into your lives you’d spent such a long time with him. He made you believe things that you didn’t think you’d ever had. When he finally found his mate, the last thing you expected was to hear him say he chose her. You should’ve known this day would come.

He kept you in the Spring Court even when it was falling down. And when the war was over he kept you hidden from your friend. He kept you hidden away from Feyre. You rotted away in the Human land while your lover worked tirelessly to win his mate over. You guessed that he had done so. He stood in front of you, years after winning the war.

He looked so different from the last memory you had off him. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d kissed him, the last time he held you in his warm embrace. There were so many last memories that you just couldn’t remember when they had happened. Elain was in the room, her sister and brother in law also with them.

“Oh.” Was all you could muster up, the word breaking as it fell from your lips. That single word didn’t so much as affect the male, or his mate. But you could see the pain Feyre and Rhysand held on their faces and it confused you. “When did you work it out?” You went on to ask. Lucien stepped forward, but you stepped back. You were in a home that Lucien had found for you and you knew that he’d most likely take it away from you.

“We accepted the bond a few months ago.” Elain’s voice was soft, and you understood why Lucien had fallen madly in love with her and wanted to work it out. You shook your head not understanding why they would wait so long to tell you this important information.

“I see.” You turned around and grabbed your go bag.

Even before Lucien had shown up with the others in tow you had planned to leave. But now you have more incentive to do so.

“Where are you going?” Lucien questioned, finally he spoke.

“I’m leaving.” You looked back at the male you thought would choose you over his mate, but you were wrong, so wrong. “I don’t know when what we had ended or how it ended. But I do know when I’m not wanted anymore. I should’ve left when you said you wanted to pursue another female that is your mate. I’m not her, I never will be. So I’m making this easy for you Lucien.” You walked over to the door barely glancing at Rhysand or Feyre. “You can keep the house.”

You stepped out of the house and walked over to the horse that was waiting on the side. Climbing on you took off just as the four ran out of the home trying to call your name. You ignored them all. You needed time to process the news you already knew was true. Years with him had been wasted, they were nothing. You were nothing to him but trash to toss aside.

Tears slipped down your face blurring your vision. But it didn’t give you a reason for you to stop. You continued on until you were finally back in Prythian. You’d ride until you could make it out of the Spring Court, hopefully you could avoid Tamlin’s guards. Though it was nice to see that he had finally been able to rebuild his Court. You didn’t make it far into the Spring Court when said guards appeared surrounding you and stopping your horse in its tracks.

You released a defeated sigh, held your hands in the air and dropped your head. There was no fight left in you, not right now at least. The guards dragged you deeper into the Spring court until you were face to face with Tamlin himself, though he wasn’t alone. A female stood by his side, you didn’t know who she was.

“High Lord.” You whispered, bowing your head to him. You were afraid of what he might do considering what he’d done in the past.

“I heard what happened. I’ve alerted Feyre and Rhysand of your arrival in my Court.” Tamlin’s voice ran through your ears and that was the last thing you’d expected him to speak to you.

“W-What? Why?” You were confused, so utterly confused. The female stepped forward, a soft smile on her face.

“Your mates are worried about you. You left in such a hurry they didn’t have a chance to get to you.” She answered. Now you were even more confused.

“My love, I don’t think Y/N knows that they’re mates.” Tamlin’s green eyes were on the female you assumed was his mate or maybe his lover.

“Rhysand and Feyre aren’t my mates. It’s not possible. I can’t have more than one mate.”

You were still processing the new information when Rhys and Feyre winnowed into the room. They were here with you in the Spring court. Both High Lord and Lady kneeled in front of you. Each reaching out with one hand to caress your cheeks.

“It is possible. It’s rare, but a mated pair of three, or a triad is very possible.” The female said.

“My mate, Luna, she’s spent most of her life researching mates and how bonds truly work between the Fae. She was the first one to notice that Rhys and Feyre were missing another part of themselves.” Tamlin spoke, Luna, the female you now knew to her be, gave a nod of approval to her mate’s words.

“When?” You asked.

“We truly didn’t know until Luna talked to us.” Rhysand whispered, keeping his violet eyes gazing into your eyes. He was searching for something in them, maybe searching to see if you’d run away again.

“But you have a family.” You just wanted to call it quits, you wanted whatever pain you were feeling to just be over.

“Yes, we have a family but it never felt complete. And now we know why.” Feyre said.

“Why?” Your lips trembled, afraid of the words that either might say. Too much had happened today, it was exhausting.

“Because you weren’t in it, you weren’t a part of the little family we have. Lucien kept you hidden from us. He thought Elain would truly reject the bond and he’d come back to you. We’d spent so long trying to figure out what was missing. And when he mentioned going back to you, we felt a tug but we didn’t understand any of it.”

“Why now?”

“Because you deserve to be happy too. Lucien knew that you’d run, we asked Tamlin to keep an eye out for you. We had to talk to you, to tell you what truth we had learned.”

“I can’t. I can’t.” You cried out. You stood up and backed away from them. “It’s not possible, this…” You cut yourself of staring at Rhysand and Feyre. They were hiding the hurt, but you could feel their pain. That was new, so new and it was overwhelming. “I just want to lie down.” As you said the words you felt your legs give out beneath you. However Rhysand was clutching onto you before you hit the grass.

“Let’s go back to the Night Court. You need some rest and time to heal before we discuss this.” Feyre whispered to you. You nodded, your hand gripping onto Rhysand’s arm tightly. Almost afraid that he’d disappear. He picked you up from the ground, your head rested on his chest. Feyre nodded her head and he disappeared.

“Thank you.” Feyre whispered to Tamlin and Luna. Tamlin gave a nod of his head while Luna stepped away from him and walked closer to Feyre.

“Y/N, will need both of you. This is going to be a lot.” Luna said.

“I know. Rhys and I will do everything to make sure that Y/N is comfortable with this. It’s going to take time, I know that much is true.” Luna smiled in understanding. Then Feyre said her goodbyes winnowing back to the night court.

───── ☾☾☾ ─────

Months had passed and you were still in the same state you’d been in since Rhys and Feyre had brought you home. They were worried about you now more than ever, not sure how to fix what Lucien had broken. You knew the bond had snapped for you but you will still try to process everything. Trying to process the fact that not only did you have one mate but you had two mates. They were High Lord and Lady and they had a son together. You didn’t understand how you could fit into their family when they had such a perfect family already.

Nyx had helped when they’d bring him in to visit you. You already had a bond with the child and sometimes it was hard to put Nyx down to sleep because he’d cry for you to be the one to put him down for a nap. But you were still so scared that you’d mess it all up, that you’d be abandoned again. Just like your parents had abandoned you, and just like Lucien had abandoned you.

You were so lost in your thoughts, stuck in your mind that never seemed to go to sleep when you needed it to, to hear the door of your room open and close. Rhys and Feyre thought it was best for you to have your own room until you were ready to take the next step. The relationship between the three of you was on your terms. A sob left your lips feeling the bed dip down on both sides. Feyre lied down in front of you while you hugged your blanket tightly. Rhys pressed his body against your back.

“We’re here for you Y/N.” Feyre whispered, a sad expression etching onto her face.

“I know.” You whispered, closing your eyes. Rhys and Feyre had been trying to get into your mind since you’d come home with them, but your shields were strong. You also weren’t letting them get into your mind, not yet anyway.

“It’ll be okay, love.” Rhys whispered into your ear.

“I just don’t understand how it ended, I mean I understand it. But there were never any signs, I never saw it coming.” You whispered, letting your tightening grip on the blanket loose. Feyre finally closed the gap between you and her, Rhys lifted a wing and covered himself, you, and Feyre with it in protection.

“Sometimes the relationships we thought were meant for just end without any signs. Sometimes there are better things out there for us.” Rhys said while Feyre nodded in agreement.

“Will it ever get better?” Rhys kept his gaze on both of his mates, though his eyes lingered on Feyre for a brief moment.

“Eventually, it will. All you can do is take it one step at a time. Rhys and I will be here through that process. When you're ready to accept the bond we’ll accept it. If you’re not ready then we’ll wait until you are.” Feyre paused, her eyes found yours and she could see the shock that was on your face. “You are worth every moment, worth every shared memory, worth waiting for.” Another sob escaped your lips.

“I don’t want to be abandoned again.” The fear of what had truly happened to you finally left your mouth. Feyre and Rhys wrapped their arms around you and huddled closer.

“You will never be abandoned, not by us. Not ever.” Rhysand said sternly.

“Promise?” You switched your gaze from Feyre to Rhys waiting for them to take back what they’d both said.

“We promise. You’re our mate, and we are yours. We’re in this together until the end of time. Until the Mother decides that our time is truly at an end.”

You gave a soft smile, though your lips were trembling and tears were slipping free. It was going to be a long journey but you knew you’d be able to come to terms with the past and move on for a better, happier future. And with Rhys and Feyre by your side it didn’t seem so scary anymore.

#reader insert #x reader #a court of thorns and roses #ploy feysand #feyre archeron #rhysand #lucien vanserra #elain archeron #feysand x reader #lucien vanserra x reader #lucien vanserra x elain archeron #lucien x elain #rhysand x reader #feyre archeron x reader #rhysand x reader x feyre archeron #Spotify

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floweypilled · 2 days

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idk exactly what u mean by asrifowey thoughts so, sorry if this doesnt fit, but i like to imagine that if asriel never turned back into flowey post pacifist, hed try rlly hard to suppress all negative emotions because he wants to distance himself from flowey but eventually he learns thats unhealthy and its fine to be a jerk occasionally. and while hes suppressing neg feelings theyd sometimes burst out and he would say/do rlly mean things and then be rlly mad at himself

UEAH ! YEAH ! YEAH ! YEAH! YEAH !

YEAH!!!!!!!!! he Really! okay . Okay. i think that when flowey was first reincarnated he was already PISSED that he was a flower but hestill put on the asriel attitude. he seems to do his asriel face automatically when he feels vulnerable (though he can control it if he wants to be more serious or intimidating, refer to the no mercy new home chat with him... when he gets more angry than scared he returns to his flowey face) and of COURSE hed be really vulnerable after being reincarnated as a stupid flower. i think that in his first couple resets he ONLY used his asriel act, and shaped himself to be more in line with his weird, distorted memories of chara during these resets..,

After EXPECTING to return to this less vulnerable non-asriel state, and just, NOT becoming a flower again...

flowey sees himself as someone completely separate from asriel (reasonably. He changed a Lot, and he doesnt want to be known as the dead 11 year old prince anymore) and to internally be a soulless asshole flower, and externally That Precious Baby Prince, hed get Whiplash. he knows everyones expectations of Asriel are different from their expectations of Flowey.

and Yeah. myabe he tried being asriel-like for a little while, but in a weird, uncanny, caricature-y way. and after letting himself BE flowey no matter his dumb goat body. hes finally content. and a bit of an asshole. ^_^

#MY FIRST PROPER RANT ON HERE IM SO NERVOUS #Ghulp #undertale #flowey #asriel #asks #rant

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tulipsforvin · 2 days

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OMGGGGGGG

I just remeber reading youre post about reader dying. The part with Louis hit HARD. While I can definitely see him and me as reader in that scenario, (dw I am fine– almost.LOL) I thought Albert would fit in this one soooo much better. (My opinion.... also Pre timeskip) OFCOURSE Louis fits in there GREATLY. AND I LOVE IT SOSOSOSOSO MUCH LIKE I LITERALLY CRIED BECAUSE IT WAS SO SAD AND BEAUTIFUL <333 ACTUALLY THANK YOU SOSOSO MUCH FOR SHOWING US ALL OF IT YOURE WRITING IS JUST– mhwa! <3 (⁠๑⁠♡⁠⌓⁠♡⁠๑⁠) (⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠³⁠˘⁠)⁠♥ AND I KNOW YOU HEAR THIS A LOT RECENTLY BUT HONESTLY??? YOU DESERVE TO BECAUSE..... YOU..JUST!?!?! SO GOOD WRITING ???? Anyways– eghm... So what I was going to explain right now was how, you mentioned in one of youre post, Albert as a Boyfriend and that he wouldnt like someone who cant keep Hygiene. So I thought that, imagen, reader falling into depression (for whatever reason) and stopped keeping themself clean because of the lack of energy. They stopped showering, brushing theyre teeth etc.. and he started to feel grossed out by them. Not by choice ofcourse. He really doesnt want to feel that way, he loves them with his whole heart and soul. But he cant stand this anymore. He dont want to kiss them or sleep next to them in bed. So he tries to do the right thing and breaks up. He explains to them how he still loves them but cant stay with them any longer if they can't even brush their teeth . He doesnt want to hurt them much more and hopes that they can find help and get better. only to see them 2 days later lying in a cuddle of their own blood. He tries to crush to them, regretting every decision he has made earlier– just like Louis in that one hc. He doesnt want them to die. To think that theyre gross, annoying, stupid, useless, anything but beautiful and extremely Important. But hes too late. Youre already dead. Or so he thought. Just for the doctor to tell him that they had immense luck and that its almost a mirracle how you survived. He's relieved and his knees give way beneath him. This burden and the pressure on his shoulders falls away, almost in tears he asks the worried doctor kneeling next to him if he can see you. You're awake but you try to turn around when you see his face only to be follow by a huge pain in youre body as you tried. He obviosly doesnt care and rushes to youre side. He feels really guilty and apolegises to you. You dont care, you tell him to go away and add ' You left because you felt uncomfortable by the lack of my hygien. That was okay. But dont come back to me and say you care when that was the reason you first left me.' He accepts this and goes home at first. But eventully comes back with flowers while youre asleep. He wants to show you he really did care and peels you some appels. When he held you in his arms, unconscious and bleeing like a dove shot by hunters, he realised how much he could have done to help you. He could have talked, and or showered with you. But instead he just choose to not face it. He won't make this mistake again. Even If you will hate HIM for the Rest of youre life. He will show how much he loves you till get sick of it and just forgive him. He doesnt ever wanna let go of youre Hand anymore. He has experinced the feeling of youre abscence once, and he surely would never want to expierince this another time. Because he's confident that he wouldnt live that over.

Hahaha sorry that was loooong. I would like to hear youre opinion. I Hope you Liked it!! ♥️♥️

WAT THE HELL THIS IS SUCH A GOOD IDEA???

PLEASE DON'T EVEN FEEL REMOTELY WEIRD, BAD OR EMBARRASED ABOUT HOW LONG THIS IS BECAUSE THIS IS SO GOOD I'M GENUINELY SPEECHLESS. HOW IS THIS NOT A FIC YET?? THE POTENTIAL AND THE ANGST IT HAS WOWOOAOA

I can't even stop complimenting you honestly i absolutely love and am utterly and sincerely stunned at how you're able to incorporate two small things i said into creating this masterpiece of an idea??

believe me when i say i waited five minutes contemplating whether to even post this because i didn't want anyone to steal your idea. i'm being so for real right now if you don't want to turn this beautiful plot of an idea into writing yourself for some reason because if it was me i'd trademark this and stamp anything that states my ownership of a plot so delicious (since again, this is so good and has sm potential) then please, please let me at least attempt and and try giving this amazing, almost an artwork plot life someday. not sure if i would even do it justice bro damn but like you'll totally get the credits WOWOAOA. i can't even stop with the compliments because i'm genuinely baffled at how absolutely golden this idea is. god damn. LIKE OKAY SHAKESPEARE.

ANYWAY ARGH LMAOAOA don't mind me fanning over you and this.. i don't even have words left to describe just how good this plot/idea is but YEAH but this is genuinely so good. i'm somehow going back to babbling about how wonderful this is and i don't think I'll be able to stop if I don't end this here because holy shit the potential it carries is astounding and me personally, i love angst so this is.. FUCKKC I CAN'T STOP SAYING HOW GOOD THIS IS. LET ME END THIS HERE FOR REAL NOW — THANK YOU FOR YOUR WORDS + THE NEVERENDING SUPPORT LOL IM GRATEFUL YOU LIKE MY WRITING <33 I HOOE UOU HAVE THE BESY DAY OF UOUR LIFE

#the way mt jaw dropped #when i firsr received this #and then i went reading on #and on #and then my jaw dropped even further to the ground #until it reached rhe depths of hell #because GOD. DAMN.#hoe good can an idea be??#i vant even type cuz im genuinely shcoked #like hello #please be my muse #PELASE PLEASE PELASE OELASE #vinyaps #anons ask vin ‧₊˚✩彡

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