#just this time with names... hurray

[honeycollectswhump]

Thorns of a Nightmare

[masterlist]

CW: pet whump, it-pronouns used for (internal) dehumanization, gore (?? kind of?? its the description of a nightmare), chronic pain (if i missed something, feel free to tell me)

Mutt awoke with a start, barely escaping the claws of its latest nightmare, drenched in sweat. Its tears had left a salty taste in its mouth. Even that couldn’t overshadow the lingering taste of blood staining its mouth. It could only hope it hadn’t screamed, hadn’t woken its owner up like an ungrateful brat. The raw feel of its throat told it otherwise.

The memory of the horrific punishment was still too fresh in its mind. It had been deserved –of course– but the pain had haunted the Pet ever since. It couldn’t even remember what it had done, though it knew it must have done something. It just remembered its old Master’s rage. 

He had bound Mutt’s wrists with barbed wire and chained it to the wall. If it dared to close its eyes now, it could see its old Master approaching with a broken pipe in hand, burning fury twisting its Master’s features. He knew where to hit, knew how to shatter bones into tiny pieces. Blow after blow came raining down until Mutt’s hands were a bloody pulp, its fingers barely discernable. They never healed quite right afterwards –nothing ever did, instead growing so twisted and crooked that Mutt could hardly move them. Master hadn’t allowed his disobedient Pet a reprieve then, only hours later when Mutt was a grovelling sobbing mess on the floor. 

When it looked down at its hands, it could still see the thick and ragged scars the barbed wire had left behind as it had dug into the Pet’s skin. They never stopped burning and itching, but now it was even worse. It was as if the wire had never left. Mutt found that it couldn’t move its fingers at all aside from involuntary twitching. Instead, they were cramped up just as they had been when bound: a constant reminder of its failures. 

Soon, real pain would follow. Mutt knew such an offence would not go unpunished. Even if Master didn’t hear the scream, it would fess up in the morning so that Master could take disciplinary action. That was the least it could do. Mutt didn’t dare go back to sleep. The nightmare wouldn’t have allowed it to anyways. But more so, it desperately wanted to be good. It vowed to show its Master how willing it was to be corrected. 

As silently as its forever broken limbs allowed it, it clambered out of its bed. It still could barely believe that its Master would grant it such a privilege, especially after all the times it messed up so badly. Just like now. 

Once Mutt reached the cold floor on its hands and knees, it immediately missed the soft warmth of the bed. There was a fluffy-looking rug on the floor. Mutt was sure it would feel wonderful for its mutilated knees. However, it knew it wasn’t allowed. Mutt would dirty the beautiful carpet with its disgusting animal body. 

Instead, it crawled in front of the door, careful not to accidentally touch the carpet. There it knelt, head bowed, hands on the ground, ready and open for its Master. She would come –eventually– Mutt knew. If not now, then in the morning when she would get the Pet out of the confines of the room it was kept in. It knew its place. Nothing else mattered.

To its horror, Mutt could hear footsteps coming closer. It really must have woken its Master up. Steeling itself, it pressed itself closer to the ground. It would be good and obedient for its owner. 

From its position on the ground, Mutt couldn’t see the door open but it could hear the creaking of the old wood, no matter how soft Master tried to open it. There was a pause before she took a silent step inside.

“Atlas? Everything alright?” Master whispered.

Only react when your Master directly tells you to. You are nothing until your Master has a use for you.

“Oh, Atlas, no…” It heard a soft thump then a hand came into view. Mutt shuddered, suppressing a flinch. It knew better than to move away from its Master. 

Master pulled her hand back without having touched her Pet. Mutt wished she did.

Pets don’t have wishes. Or wants. 

“Atlas, please look at me. It’s okay, I promise.” Its Master said. Mutt loved her so much. Her, and her calm voice, and soft touches, and It’s okay’s. It would do anything for her.

(It had never been allowed to look its old Master in the eyes. If it did, its vision would be taken away. It had only been temporary, but even a stupid Pet like Mutt could grasp the underlying threat.)

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong? Did something happen?” 

Its entire body vibrated with fear, but Mutt knew deep inside its bones that it had to fess up. Maser was giving it the chance to admit its wrongdoings. But at the same time, there was no reason for it to whine about a silly little nightmare it had. Master wouldn’t concern herself with such irrelevant nonsense. She simply wouldn’t.

It had been so determined to say something, to show its willingness and obedience, but now that the time had come it didn’t know what to say. 

Say something, you useless Mutt! it wanted to scream at itself, but no matter what its body stayed frozen on the ground.

“It’s alright. You can tell me.” 

A whimper escaped Mutt’s lips, the memory of the nightmare never having left its mind. It could feel thorny wire digging into its skin, binding its arms together, its pleas for mercy going unheard. Broken bones grinding against each other. Mutt knew it had been a necessary punishment but still… It was hurting all over.

“Please fo-forgive this Pet, Master.” It stuttered, still unused to speaking even after months of being with its new Master. Just another proof of how braindead it was. 

“This P-Pet, it had a… a bad dream. It believes it screamed, Master. It knows this is un-unacceptable behaviour. Please correct this stupid Pet, s-so that it can continue to serve you in the future.”

Mutt just hoped it wouldn’t be thrown out. This wasn’t the first time it had awoken its new Master by being such a noisy nuisance, and it doubted it would be the last. So far, mercifully, Master hadn’t yet decided to take action, but Mutt knew deep down that any day could be its last.

“It’s quite alright, I promise,” Master assured it. “I was already awake when I heard you.”

“It is so sorry. This Pet will try to be quiet, it promises. You could–” Mutt dreaded the suggestions but knew they were necessary. 

It would do anything for its Master. 

“If-if it would please you, Master, you could tie this Pet up and stuff its mouth, or-or lock it outside. But if… if you would pre-prefer a long-lasting solution… you could c-cut this Pet’s vocal cords.” Mutt tried to force a smile. “It knows it isn’t there anymore, but its old Master saw this as a feasible option… al-although he never went that far.”

Master took in a sharp breath, which made Mutt shake even more. 

“No! You don’t–that won’t be necessary.” Master paused. Surely, she was judging her worthless Pet, debating how lenient she should be, debating when her patience would run out. “It’s not a big deal, I promise. As I said, I was already awake. And even if I weren’t it would still be alright. Really.”

Mutt wanted to believe her so badly. It didn’t matter if it was all a lie and she would punish her Pet later on –rightfully so. It wanted to believe everything would be alright, that it would be a good Pet, even as the pain all across its body reminded it of its inevitable shortcomings. 

To its horror, big, fat tears started rolling down its face. The nightmare, the memories, the pain. Master’s gentleness. It was all too much. 

Shrinking back from its Master, Mutt tried to stifle the sob that threatened to break free, tried to hide those traitorous tears. It couldn’t cry! Not without explicit permission. But no matter how hard Mutt tried, it was like its body had forgotten all those lessons that had been beaten into it. 

Once the tears started there was no end to them. They would just get worse. It couldn’t stop the tears or the heavy rasping breaths, or how its nose immediately clogged up. It tried to turn its head away to hide the shame of its cries.

“Oh, sweetheart…” Master whispered, carefully cupping its face in her hands, preventing it from looking away. Mutt could feel its tears catch on her soft hands and its stomach twisted painfully. 

“I–I can’t!” Mutt sobbed. “I’ll dirty you! I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. This Pet isn’t worthy.”

“It’s alright.” Master's soft voice washed over Mutt. She waited for a moment, then scooted closer. Mutt’s protests (that a Pet like it shouldn’t have anyways) died right on its tongue. 

She drew it closer to herself, wrapping it gently in her arms. Mutt’s breath hitched. 

“Just let it all out. You will be alright, I promise.” Master assured it. A moment passed, then another. 

Mutt couldn’t help it. It melted into her embrace, her soothing voice, her warmth. In this moment, wrapped in Master’s arms, Mutt didn’t care if it would be punished for this later, for the tears soaking into the fabric of her pyjama. 

Distantly, it could feel her rocking it back and forth, whispering sweet nothings into its hair. Its hands grasped the back of her shirt like a dying man, burying its face in the crook of her neck. She pressed its body a little bit closer to herself, and Mutt could feel its heart nearly beating out of the ribcage against her chest, her calm breaths a steady rhythm.

#polly come get your boy!! #he's finally here #its the same whumpee/caretaker combo of my other posts #just this time with names... hurray #again this is beta-read by grammarly :)) #Holding Up The Sky #aveline king (oc) #atlas/mutt (oc) #honey's writing #pet wumpee #pet whump #conditioned whumpee #dehumanization #deconditioning #past torture #chronic pain #scars #hurt/comfort #rescued whumpee #gentle caretaker #caretaker new whumper #whumpee thinks caretaker is new master #caretaker new master #whump writing #recovering whumpee

[deiaiko]

#7.1 Silent conversation

Every muscle in his body was sore, and the rocky ground that he laid on didn't make it any better. Grace knew he had at least three fractured ribs, given that his power was partially sealed by the floor administrator itself. But he had won the fight against Ren, the test that Hansung set up specifically for him. Now he was officially part of FUG, and done with the second floor.

If anything, the pain was actually grounding. Given that he had to participate in a war, this amount was close to nothing, just a mild inconvenience because he didn't have the power to quickly heal.

Light footsteps were the only warning he got that someone was approaching, and he felt an immeasurable amount of relief when he sensed who it was from the shinsu signature.

Grace tilted his head a little and smiled when he saw Agni. His heart swelled when his partner kneeled next to him and began tracing his face with rough fingertips. His cheek ached when Agni tenderly traced over it — there must be a bruise there. The hand lingered, Agni's icy palm against his skin acting like a cold compress. It felt really nice.

God, he missed him so bad. The pocket call didn't feel anywhere as close to witnessing the real person himself, tangible and alive.

Grace knew his voice would waver were he to speak anything at the moment, especially when Agni also looked like he wanted to cry himself. So they just drank in the sight of each other, gentle touches reminding them that they were not alone, and it was alright. Grace didn't need Agni to say anything to understand what he was feeling, or what he couldn't say out loud. After all, this wasn't the first time they had a silent conversation.

Grace double tapped Agni's knee and lightly squeezed it. 'I'm here, I got you'.

Agni's eyes widened slightly before softening, his gaze no longer distant. The corner of his lips slightly pulled upwards and the lines between his brows ceased. He returned the gesture by double tapping Grace's palm and squeezing his wrist.

Grace caressed the knee with his thumb, 'are you alright?'

Agni shrugged, but he gave him a reassuring smile. 'I don't know, but I will be'.

Agni reached for his lighthouse and pulled out a bandaid from the first aid kit that he had always brought ever since he lost his healing sweetfish. Grace had long known that Agni had a habit of keeping his hands busy whenever he needed to gather his thoughts, so he let Agni clean every small cut on his exposed skin and wrap them with a bandaid. Agni frowned when he reached Grace’s chest, which most likely had a bad bruise on it, but didn't say anything else and left it be.

After he was done, Agni drew a circle on Grace's palm. Sometimes it meant 'what's on your mind?' and other times it meant 'distract me', but either way, Agni wanted him to talk. He could refuse, of course, but Agni had read him like a book. He was thinking of something before Agni came, after all, being left alone in this cave with his thoughts.

So Grace patted the ground next to him and Agni laid down, shoulders touching and hands intertwined. Grace cleared his throat to test the waters, making sure his voice wouldn't crack.

"This place is nostalgic for me. I used to lay on the hard rocky ground and stare at the ceiling for a long time. It was cold, dark and humid, nothing like the bed we usually sleep on and nothing to see up above. But it was peaceful. Just me existing without needing to think of anything. It got me thinking. . .what would have happened if I didn't come to the tower? Every scar, every death, every loss. . .is it worth it? You always came to my mind then, and I know I would rather have this than being alone in that place."

Agni squeezed his hand, "My life would be meaningless if I never met you. I climbed the tower to find something worth struggling for. And here I am, with you. Even if I have to experience every scar, every death, and every loss all over again, as long as you're here. . .I’d say it's worth it."

Grace brought their intertwined hands closer to his lips and kissed the back of Agni's hand. It meant either 'thank you' or 'I love you'. He didn't need to turn around to know that Agni was blushing.

Masterlist

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#longest snippet so far #healing sweetfish that Grace mentioned is firefish #i just like to stick with canon where Khun called it sweetfish and not firefish (or at least that's what I remembered) #Grace's clothes is actually more torn and he has more bandages but it's hard to visualize from that angle so let's just pretend #at the start of S1 to this point of time Grace and Agni are already dating albeit only recently so hand kisses still overwhelms Agni #after this event they started calling each other with their new names so by the start of S2 they've already used to that #anyway next week we'll get back to the comic hurray #tower of god #tog #two sides of the same coin fic #my fic #my art #bam #baam #25th baam #25th bam #the 25th baam #the 25th bam #jue viole grace #khun #koon #khun a.a #khun aguero agnis #khunbam #koonbaam #bamxkhun

[sentofight]

ooc. bruh... i am writing. someone, quickly pray circle i keep this spirit until i do a couple more XDD

#[BRUH. WHO IS THIS BRAIN? NOT MINE. #[I AM MELTING BUT I CAN STILL WORK SOMETHING OUT. #[a blessing from the abundance queen hurray #[btw fuck luchuo whatever his name i wont bother remember his name if he aint coming #[nat will do all the healing thank you very much. stupid hmhp! #[i lost like ....11 pull or more on him #[this game pulling system is driving me crazy #[i didnt want that much s//ilver wolf but i got her after the 3rd pull #[im just....frick. #[i gotta save up for b/lade whwhaha....he will not come home too #[at this point i am just happy with lion man. he is my op and geppie is getting there too #[it is super stupid how my team is geppie/trailerblazer guarding up. jing yuan doing the cool moves and then seele coming from behind like #[viper and annihilate them in two sometimes 4 or one time i got 4 turns for her #[sometimes i switch to sushang my giiiiiirl!!!! or yanqing my boooy!!! #[shampo is an option too ..............stupid shampo.....i hate it (translation love him)

[aragornsrockcollection]

Hello I’m here to talk about an opinion that isn’t so much unpopular because people don’t like it, but because it is splitting hairs and basically an argument based in semantics that sane people reasonably do not waste their time caring about it.

I am neither sane nor reasonable and therefore think about this a lot, and get ready to pull out a soapbox and type the Text Wall of China any time I hear people offhandedly contradict this opinion, and so I have come here today to die on this molehill, and write the over-long post of my dreams, because fuck it, it’s my blog.

Drumroll please:

Sauron is not The Lord of the Rings

The Lord of the Rings is the main antagonist though, so furthermore,

Sauron is not the main antagonist of The Lord of the Rings

I internally go insane every time someone says “Sauron, the eponymous Lord of the Rings” or “The antagonist never actually appears in Lord of the Rings” or uses Lord of the Rings as an penultimate example of having a flat ‘evil for evil’s sake’ villain. This is mostly in YouTube videos so I’m not calling out anyone here.

So who is the Lord of the Rings? Where do I get this shit? Why should anyone care?

I will tell you in far too much detail under this cut, because I told you I was gonna be extra about it and this is already long enough to inflict on my followers without their consent.

First and foremost, Frodo is not the Lord of the Rings either. Let’s get that out of the way. Gandalf explicitly tells us that in Many Meetings (the first chapter in Rivendell in Fellowship), when Pippin greets a newly awakened Frodo with quintessential Fool of a Took™️ swagger.

‘Hurray!’ cried Pippin, springing up. ‘Here is our noble cousin! Make way for Frodo, Lord of the Ring!’

‘Hush!’ Said Gandalf from the shadows at the back of the porch. ‘Evil things do not come into this valley; but all the same we should not name them. The Lord of the Ring is not Frodo, but the master of the Dark Tower of Mordor, whose power is again stretching out over the world! We are sitting in a fortress. Outside it is getting dark.’

So that’s my theory busted right off the bat! Gandalf straight up tells us the Lord of the Ring is Sauron (‘the master of the Dark Tower of Mordor’ which is Sauron).

But I already told you, this is a hair-splitting semantics-based theory! He said Sauron was the Lord of the Ring. Not the Lord of the RingS. Yes, this whole theory revolves around a single letter difference between the title of the series and Gandalf’s statement, WHAT OF IT?

But in all seriousness. Tolkien was a linguist. There was no way this choice was not deliberate, not on something so important to the narrative. And there is a very important difference between what he is referring to when he uses ‘The Ring” singular, and “The Rings” plural. The Ring that Frodo carried to Mordor has it’s singular nature highly emphasized by the language that surrounds it. THE definite article Ring, the ONE Ring. Just the One. Singular Singular Singular.

The Rings (plural) refers to the rings of power which Celebrimbor wrought, with Sauron’s help, but Sauron is objectively not the Lord of those rings. Not the three Elven ones at least, which he never touched and only suspects the location of. Without his One Ring he has no power over the Three, and a big problem with him regaining his Ring is that he would gain power over those rings, the ringbearers, and the safe realms that had been wrought with them, basically crippling those with the power to resist him.

Him NOT having the Ring, and therefore NOT having lordship over all the rings, is a pretty major plot point. Like, it’s not a reach to say Sauron not having the Ring is what drives the entire story. And he is NOT the Lord of the Rings without it.

And he never gains it, so is the whole series named after Sauron’s aspirations, that the main characters are trying to prevent? I mean, from an angle yes. But also no.

Because while Pippin and Gandalf’s exchange is the closest we come in the text to seeing the title, let me show you the only place within the covers that “The Lord of the Rings” is presented, at least in my beat up third hand 70’s edition. It may not be formatted like this in other editions, but I still think it says something about how we are supposed to read the title:

[Image ID: Masking tape can clearly be seen holding together my poor abused copy of Fellowship, open to the title page. THE LORD OF THE RINGS is written across the top of the page in all caps, directly below it is the Ring Poem, as if The Lord of the Rings is a the title not only of the series but of the poem. /.End ID]

The One Ring is the Lord of the Rings, not Sauron, who is the Lord of the Ring.

“What?” Say imaginary naysayers in my head, “How can a Ring be a Lord? And why does this matter, if Sauron is the Lord of the Ring, doesn’t that make him the Lord of the Rings by proxy? Why are you wasting your and my time making an argument about this?”

I’m glad you asked imaginary naysayer, let me speak to your first point. How can a ring be a Lord? Well, like any good first time speechwriter, I’ve turned to Miriam Webster, and asked it to define a word we already know, in this case ‘lord.’

[Image ID: Screenshot of the Miriam Webster definition of ‘lord.’ The ones that are relevant are 1: One having power and authority over others. 1a: A ruler by hereditary right or preeminence to whom service and obedience are due. And 1f: One that has achieved mastery or that exercises leadership or great power in some area /.End ID]

In the poem, it is the Ring that is spoken of as ruling, not Sauron. Sauron is actually listed in the same position as all the others who receive rings, “The Dark Lord on his Dark Throne” occupying the same place in the sentence structure as the “the Elven-kings under the sky” and “the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone” and “Mortal Men doomed to die.” It is the One Ring, not Sauron, who rules them all, fulfilling our first definition “A ruler by hereditary right or preeminence.” In this case it would be by right of preeminence, or superiority. The One Ring outclasses the other rings and thus dominates them, binding them to obedience and service. Gandalf calls it “the Master-Ring” when it is first revealed for what it is in Bag-End with the words appearing from the flame.

The Ring has it’s own will too. It’s repeatedly stated to be in control of Gollum when Gandalf is first telling us about it. I’m literally so spoiled for quotes about this that I was paralyzed with indecisiveness over what to use but let’s keep it simple with this one. It’s from Gandalf explaining why Gollum didn’t have the Ring allowing Bilbo to come upon it in the chapter “Shadows of the Past” from Fellowship:

‘It was not Gollum, Frodo, but the Ring itself that decided things. The Ring left him.’

So if Sauron is the Lord of the Ring, and the Ring is the Lord of the Rings, isn’t he Lord of the Rings by proxy? Yes, when he has the Ring. But also being the ruler of a lord doesn’t make the title of that lord your title, if that makes sense. People don’t call Aragorn the Prince of Ithilien, that’s Faramir’s title, Aragorn is King of the Reunited Kingdoms, he rules Ithilien, sure, but by proxy. Ithilien reports to Faramir who reports to Aragorn (I should be calling him Elessar since I’m talking about him as king, but whatever). If Aragorn lost the ability to contact Faramir or Ithilian, he would still theoretically be king there but he would have no practical control, just like Sauron with the Rings of Power.

Why does this matter? It mostly doesn’t. It does not change anything practically in the story at all.

But it matters to me, because it might help change perspective on the antagonist of LotR. It’s the Ring. Sauron is a force in the world, one the Ring is closely allied with, and from whom many of the obstacles come, but the entity that our protagonist is really fighting on every page is the Ring.

If Gandalf were the main character, or Aragorn, or almost anyone else on Middle Earth, Sauron would be the Primary Antagonist. But they are not. Frodo is the Primary Protagonist, and his struggle is NOT against Sauron, it is against the Ring.

If destroying the Ring had not destroyed Sauron, would Frodo have kept fighting in this war? NO! He had his task, and once it was done he was done, even if the world ended afterwards. Everything is driven by the Ring. The threat to the Shire comes from the presence of the Ring, so Frodo takes the Ring to Rivendell. The danger of the Ring is not neutralized by it being brought to Rivendell, so he continues his journey to destroy it once and for all. He doesn’t fight Sauron, he fights the Ring. He fights with himself to keep going in spite of the despair it levels on him, the poisonous words it whispers in his ear, the physical toll it takes on his body. He fights Boromir and Sam (not to the extent he does in the movie, but still a bit) and Gollum over the Ring. He negotiates with Faramir over the Ring.

And the Ring is SUCH a more interesting and nuanced villain to struggle with than Sauron. Sauron is representative of a force in the world. He controls events but never appears, because he acts as the source of all evil, it’s representation on earth (at least now Melkor is in the Void), but it is far more interesting to watch the effect he has on others than deal directly with a character that is so obviously in the wrong in every way. Making Sauron a physical character in LotR is like making the Devil a present character in basically any piece of media that deals with evil.

Evil at its purest isn’t that interesting, because it contains no conflict. Leaving Sauron as an offscreen player leaves us to see characters that are not pure evil struggle with that conflict.

The fascinating thing about the Ring is that it has no power outside of what you give it. But given enough time even the best people, like Frodo, will end up losing themselves to it, as it whispers in your ear with your own voice.

I want to go ballistic when people point to LotR and say it has a one dimensional villain. EVERYONE’S OWN VIOLENCE, DESPAIR AND THIRST FOR POWER IS THE VILLAIN OF LORD OF THE RINGS! Brought to the fore by a small unassuming golden trinket which just happens to also be the titular Lord of the Rings.

Honestly “The Ring is the Villain of LotR change my mind” should be its own big long post with lots of quotes and shit, the fact that the Ring is The Lord of the Rings just being a small point in it.

But unless you are a specific type of interested in story structure and stuff none of this is at all meaningful and it really, really doesn’t matter, so I’m gonna go.

Thanks for coming with me on this dumb journey.

#tolkien #jirt #lotr #lord of the rings #the one ring #Sauron #jrr tolkien #Frodo #story structure #long post… even for me! #hot take #Gandalf #look #I’m sorry ok #this is so inconsequential and I say this as someone who likes meta

[heathersdesk]

When I was investigating the Church, I told the people around me I wanted to get baptized after I'd only been to services a few times. I hadn't read much of the Book of Mormon. There were many things I didn't know or understand. But I had felt the Spirit of God and knew that this was the place where I would find God. I knew I was supposed to be baptized.

What was the response?

"You can't do that."

They didn't have missionaries. They didn't have anyone to teach me the discussions. I was coming to Church in a different place from where I lived because of where my friends, who were members and who had invited me, were living.

It got bad enough that I set a date for myself to get baptized and told them they had that long to figure it out and deal with their scruples. And they did.

Then I found out about patriarchal blessings in one of the lessons I had in Young Women. I wanted mine. I went to my branch president and told him that.

"You can't do that."

I hadn't been to church long enough. Could I wait a year? Six months?

But that's not what the lesson I was taught said. It said that if I felt like I was ready, then I could have one. So I showed up outside of my branch president's office every week for over a month to ask again. Finally, he talked to the stake president, who told him there was no rule or timeline mandated in the Handbook of Instruction that prevented me from receiving my patriarchal blessing. I finally received it 4 months after I was baptized.

Then I went to BYU. I was in one of my favorite wards I've ever attended. Everyone around me was so kind and supportive. They helped me deepen my knowledge of the restored gospel and the scriptures. And when all the young men in my classes started receiving mission calls, I wanted to as well. I felt "called to the work," and the Doctrine and Covenants said that was enough.

"You can't do that."

They didn't let women serve at 19 at the time. I had to wait. Why? Because I might get married instead. The hypothetical possibility of reserving me for a man was more important than the calling I had received from God.

I had the opportunity to serve in the temple regularly for the first time in my life. I was from an area where the temple was two hours away, which meant I got to go only a couple times a year, at most. As the only member in my family, I had many names to do. And as the endowments started piling up, I could feel the weight of my responsibility to get the names done weighing on me. I didn't have a ward full of endowed people to rely on in my student wards. It was just me. And the more I went to the temple, the more I craved that divine closeness, the spiritual support for how much harder it was for me to be a member of the Church than it was for everyone else. I was totally on my own, no support from large extended families like they had. I needed more support to come from somewhere. So I started asking to receive my endowment.

"You can't do that."

I needed to be getting married (preferably, in their minds) or serving a mission to get endowed. That was the rule at the time. It didn't matter that I already wanted to serve a mission. It would be so much more special if I could go with my husband! Didn't I see that? My life was just supposed to stay on hold for him, whoever he was. The idea that I would have a spiritual development and progression separate from his was a totally foreign idea at the time, and wasn't reason enough for me to receive my own endowment. Meanwhile, as the ordinances in my own family backed up higher and higher because I was in student wards with no access to the endowment or other endowed people, I was just stuck and alone.

Then the identity of the mysterious young man I would eventually marry was revealed to me. Hurray! And we both went on missions. We were planning our wedding. And after years of alienating my family with all the milestones of my adult life they didn't get to witness because I was *IN UTAH* thousands of miles away, I wanted to have a ring ceremony so they could at least watch me get married.

"You can't do that."

And every reason I was given, especially the one that it took away from the validity and the sacredness of my temple sealing, was later disavowed when they did away with this rule.

ALL OF THIS TO SAY, I've been in the Church for almost 18 years. I have seen so many changes come into the Church and its culture in that time. The things that were impediments to me as a young believer and convert are no longer there, in part because I left so many bloody knuckle prints on heaven's door, pleading for these things to change. Heaven bore witness to how many times I was told "You can't do that" by my own community—with shallow, indefensible reasons for why my journey needed to be so much harder and lonelier than it needed to be.

Changes like these do not come about simply by waiting. They come because the faithful, especially those who are most affected by the lack of change, keep praying and pleading with heaven for change. The hurt goes on the altar because it never should've been mine to carry. Let God witness it. Let him see, feel, and know the burdens I bore in his name, solely at the behest of my community whose reasoning for it was poor and indefensible, because it all came down to a single failure: they couldn't begin to imagine the impacts of their choices were having on me. And until they could begin to understand it, they could never conceive of why their status quo needed to change. Their ignorance and desire to remain in what was familiar and comfortable was a form of bondage to me. That was true.

But what was equally true was that there was nothing wrong or evil in pushing back against all of that, with all the strength I possessed. I would live to see so many of these stumbling blocks I encountered change for those who came behind me. Young people in my church community today don't have to make many of the same choices I did anymore—and thank God for that! I called down the powers of heaven to me to witness these burdens so no one else would ever have to carry them again! I have been witness to the power that these prayers—my prayers—have had to build the kingdom of God on the earth by affecting these changes.

And we're not done. There are many more such changes that need to come to fruition , including (but not limited to) making the Church fully accessible to everyone in our community. Our LGBTQIA+ and disabled people, our women and single Saints, our marginalized, abused, and forgotten in communities of color all over this world.

The kingdom of Heaven is not built, our work is not finished, until ALL are safely gathered in. That is, until they all CAN be safely gathered in. Until all that resists unity, diversity, equity, and inclusion that will define Heaven are removed by the Saints, whose job it is to build that kingdom. To never say again to someone who is trying to come to Christ "You can't do that."

Because with enough time, and effort from the Saints, you'll find they can, in fact, do that.

#mormon #mormonism #lds #tumblrstake #the church of jesus christ of latter day saints #religion #faith #queerstake

[vlrspace]

territorial, midoriya x reader

cw: nsfw themes, MNDI!!!, swearing

wc: 3.4K

part one, part two

at last, territorial. everyone learned not to trigger that side of him, ever again.

the hot summer nights are coming to an end, meaning you’re halfway through the school year. by now, everyone can feel the fast approaching graduation season and how else would it be best way to celebrate, before all you can think about is studying and training, if not with a party?

everyone agreed that it’d be a good way to blow of some steam before the big hurray. mina, kaminari and sero took it upon themselves to ask for permission from aizawa, but iida and momo went along as well to reassure your sensei that there will be nothing illegal involved. besides, your class doesn’t need alcohol or drugs to make the party better, not when you all know how to keep the good mood.

the party is set to happen on the last weekend of august, the invitations had been sent out two weeks before, all is left during the day is to decorate the common rooms and the garden and prepare snacks with drinks.

and when the day comes, you all are rather nervous but filled with excitement and joy.

“i will burn your hair off sweets if you don’t stop moving” you gently tell momo, who’s feeling quite anxious, wanting everything to work out well tonight. you’re on hair duty for the girls and you’re about to finish with curling momo’s hair but the usually calm and collected girl is rather bouncy today.

“i’m sorry (y/n)! i’m just very nervous about tonight, i want everyone to enjoy themselves” she beams at you apologetically from the mirror and you squeeze her shoulder.

“you, mina, eiji, denki, hanta and tenya put all of your efforts into making today happen and as far as i’m aware, it’ll be a blast! don’t worry your pretty head about anything, we will have one of the best nights ever” you reassure her with a warm smile before letting go of her and curl the last bits of her hair. “done! you look stunning” you exclaim, spraying her hair for it to stay in place during the night and momo excitedly hugs you.

“thank you so much! would you like me to help you with your hair?” she asks politely and you shake your head lightly, telling her that your hair won’t take long to get done. momo thanks you one more time before exiting your room and you lay down on your bed for a few minutes.

reaching for your phone, you check the time and you thank god that you still have an hour left to get yourself ready. though your peace is broken when you hear mina yelling your name from the hallway and you begrudgingly stand up to open your door for her. she comes in with her huge make up bag and sets it down on your table.

“i got the perfect idea for tonight that goes just right with your dress” she winks and starts pulling out different brushes, powders, etc. you sit down in your chair with a smile and you let her take over your face.

by the time the clock strikes 8pm, you’re standing in front of your mirror, smoothing out the creases on your dress, feeling confident in yourself and the knock on your door slightly startles you, not expecting anyone. midoriya stands with his fingers fiddling with each other, feelings his face heat up when he sees you. he’s absolutely mesmerised by the way you look, the green dress you’re wearing hugs your curves just right and shows of your legs nicely.

“wow” is all he says and you let out a giggle. he’s matching you with his green dress shirt that looks a little tight around his muscles and the black jeans do no justice for his legs. however, your brows furrow when you see his shoes.

“where are your shoes?” you blurt out and he laughs. you look back at him and he’s warmly smiling down at you.

“i thought it’d be nice if we matched” he explains as you let him in your dorm. you closed the door after him and he sat down on your bed, while you pulled out your white converse, the same one he’s wearing in men. “i swear i didn’t know what exactly you’d be wearing just the colours!” he frantically explains with his hands wailing and you laugh at his antics.

“it’s okay izu, i think it’s awesome that we are matching” you smile and stand in front of him. “do you uh, do you at least like what i’m wearing?” you ask nervously and one of his hand trails up along your thigh to your waist while the other one holds your hand.

“i think you look beautiful” his tone is gentle, green hues are clear as day and swims in love and adoration, only for you. you bite your lips when he pulls you a little closer by your waist, turns you slightly, before pressing you down to sit on one of his thighs. “we don’t want your pretty dress to be all wrinkly, baby” he murmurs, hands holding you tightly and he presses a kiss to your lips, then two, then three.

“we should go” you stop him before he could give a fourth one and untangle yourself from his hands to put your shoes on.

“let me tie them for you” he quickly says and you sit down on your bed while he kneels down and ties your laces, not too tight but secure enough to not fall off your feet.

“thank you izuku” you press a kiss on his cheek, the two of you are ready to join the party and you ask him in the elevator to pocket your phone.

different voices fill the common rooms when you exit the elevator, many people are scattered around and enjoy the snacks that’s been prepped, while others are holding a drink. you’re sure the garden looks almost identical, though you don’t have a chance to see it for yourself because camie jumps at you out of nowhere and embraces you tightly. you smile apologetically at midoriya who only sends grin your way as inasa and many others crowd around him.

an hour later, you had your own circle of people to talk with, such as nejire, kendo and momo. your conversation never stayed on one topic, which made it so much better because no one felt left out. midoriya wandered out with a bunch of boys to the garden, where they had more space for everyone.

later on a dance off broke out and the four of you curiously joined everyone outside. there were two groups named A and B but it was mixed with people from both classes and people from outside of ua. camie decided to join in as well, leaving you with momo and kendo who were fine with standing a little away from the sidelines so none of you get squished. to your surprise, sero got iida and todoroki to join as well and it was one of the best things you’ve ever seen.

afterwards, calmer songs were played and many couples filled up the dance floor after the dance off. you couldn’t find midoriya wherever you looked so you decided to head to the common rooms, since your phone was with him.

you were just inside, fetching some apple juice when you felt someone lingering behind you. shindo was someone you never really felt comfortable around, his whole fake being nice act to find any weaknesses in other people just made him more unsettling.

“(l/n), haven’t seen you in a while” there it is, his sickly sweet voice, filled with honey which makes most people stick to him right away like flies. “how have you been?” you turn towards him, forcing a small smile on your face before answering.

“good, yeah, very good” you say, not letting yourself stammer because you know he’d pick up on your nervousness around him right away. “you?” you ask, sipping from your cup to soothe your nerves.

“better than ever. i’m preparing to be a sidekick at best jeanist’s agency” he says and walks beside you to pour some soda into his cup. “i could make that happen for you too, if you want” he sends a wink your way and you try your best not to grimace and hum instead.

“‘m not too sure where i want to go yet” you shrug and turn to look for a snack and to your annoyance he follows after you. “there are many options, you know” you explain, hoping he’ll drop the subject and you altogether.

“for you, it’s just one word and i’d make anything happen” he’s suddenly behind you, grabbing your wrist and you freeze up at his touch.

“let go of me” you hiss, trying to free yourself from his grasp, but it only gets tighter.

“midoriya doesn’t even know how great of a treasure you are, i could take better care of you” shindo continues and you give him a sceptic look.

“oh really? i doubt a boy like you could do anything without playing dirty” you spit and he yanks you towards him, making your wince.

“you bitch-“

“i think that was enough” a third voice cuts in, deep and filled with anger.

three things happen at once, you’re swiftly pushed out of the way by midoriya, before you hear the table set up for snacks crash against the floor and midoriya is on top of shindo, beating him up.

at the loud noise, everyone is alarmed and rush in, you’re suddenly moved behind kaminari’s back, kirishima, bakugou, todoroki and iida are trying to break up the fight, but it turns out rather hard because shindo doesn’t go down without throwing a few punches. yet, your boyfriend is proven to be stronger, staying on top, growling at him.

“she’s fucking mine, you asshole” and lands another punch straight into his nose. after a while, shindo doesn’t have the chance to say anything because midoriya became increasingly stronger, faint green lightings surrounding him. bakugou finally gets a good grip of him and flips him off of shindo, kirishima gaining a grip on your boyfriend drags him away along with bakugou towards the elevator.

“what on earth happened?” iida is the first one to speak, demanding an explanation from you, but you just stand behind kaminari, eyes wide and still in shock.

“tenya i think that can wait for later” kaminari cuts in, turning around to face you, before pulling you to his chest and your tears run wide with your sniffles. “there, there. it’s okay, you’re okay” he soothes you and his hazel eyes find uraraka’s, motioning for her to follow the three up the elevator to see what’s going on, which to she silently nodded and scurried away.

shindo’s been taken away towards the bathrooms to clean him up since he got pretty messed up before his friends took him home. you were sitting on one of the sofas during that time, looking out on the window, while the girls tried to comfort you.

your mind kept replaying what just happened, the way midoriya moved you out of the way before he jumped at shindo. the way he protected you and stood up for you, almost using his whole quirk on the brown haired boy, it felt somewhat scary to watch your ever so sweet boyfriend get so angry. you weren’t scared of him, but you weren’t sure how to feel right now, too shaken up by shindo’s antics towards you as well to think clear.

yet, at the end of your thought process, you could only find yourself to blame. you should’ve been stronger and stand up against shindo without causing any harm and now midoriya will probably get into trouble because of you and you just stood there watching while he got hurt.

“this is all my fault” you sob into your hands and curl up against the cushions, wanting to hide away from the world. at your words, the girls around you started to coo and reassure you that you shouldn’t blame yourself at all for what happened.

kirishima was the first one to come up to you since they disappeared with your boyfriend, a faint smile grazing over his face. “he just wants to see you. he’s very mad at himself right now for acting like that” his voice is warm, hoping to soothe you and you stand up from the couch with a nod and follow him.

when you arrive to midoriya’s room, he sits on his bed, face buried in his palms as his shoulders shake with his cries. uraraka sits next to him, rubbing his back, while telling him that he isn’t a bad person and that you still want to be with him after all that. bakugou just stands across from him with a first aid kit, long gave up on tending to midoriya’s wounds.

“izu?” your voice is small, but you catch his attention right away, looking at you with eyes wide, red and teary, while his nose is bloody and so are his lips. midoriya stands up abruptly, hesitantly walking closer to you and the other two leave the room, closing it behind them. “oh my god, it’s all my fault that you’re hurt” your own tears are falling down on your cheeks and you’re wiping nose with the back of your hand.

“no, no princess, it isn’t your fault. don’t say that.” he’s voice is broken, raspy and deep. he steps in front of you and reaches towards your cheek with one hand to wipe your tears. “no one is allowed to treat you like that and get away with it, not on my watch” midoriya grumbled and you cup his face with both hands, thumbs caressing the skin.

“thank you for jumping in and protecting me” you whisper as you stand on your tiptoes to press a feather light kiss on his lips, not wanting to make it hurt any further.

midoriya on the other hand has other ideas and wrapped both arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him, deepening the kiss. you felt him lick at your lower lip and you let him in, tasting his blood, while he walked you backwards to make you stand between him and his door. you pull him towards you for more after a short break and he picks you up to pin you against the hard surface, his hands slide along the underside of your thighs before slipping underneath your dress, squeezing your butt and a moan erupted you.

“you’re so good baby, so good and all mine” he murmurs along your jaw and neck, pressing kisses on the skin between words and the straps of your dress are hanging down, while the end is rolled up around your hips. your fingers find the buttons of his shirt, taking it off of him and after all comes undone, he throws it on his floor. your fingers run through his muscles and they tense underneath your touch.

you feel him suck on different spots of skin on your neck and you bury your fingers in his green curls, bringing his head closer to you, while his hands remain your butt, his semi hardened member presses against you through his jeans and you can’t stop the moans leaving your hips.

suddenly, he moves you to his bed, laying you on your back and he unbuttoned his jeans, slightly pulling them down. you bite your lips from the sight and he lets out a short chuckle. your eyes move to stare up at midoriya, who’s eyes are darker, filled with lust and adoration. he sneaks a hand up the underside of your boob, squeezing it slightly and a sigh leaves your lips.

midoriya takes in the way you look below him, how your breathing is heavy, your eyes are teary from minutes before, lips plump and reddish, your hair is a mess underneath you. the skin on your neck is littered with two darkening spots and there are two more on your collarbone. you reach for him to give another kiss and he knows that if the two of you don’t stop stop soon, he won’t be able to control himself. not when, you’re laid down under him with your dress rolled up to your hips, thighs bare and look up at him longingly.

his hips moved without thinking, gently humping against you, thin layers of clothing acting as walls between the two of you and midoriya starts to feel his mind growing foggy as more seconds passed by. your lips clashed against each other with more and more passion and you forgot why the two of you were in midoriya’s room in the first place.

“you’re mine baby, please tell me you’re mine” he pleaded, getting closer towards his white bliss and it felt like yours was approaching soon as well, with one of his hand kneading your boobs through your dress and the open mouthed kisses he left all around your neck and collarbone.

“yours, yours” you babbled before you feel a knot come undone in your belly and something wet coats your panties, you came with a moan of his name. midoriya seeing this followed you a few seconds later as you felt him twitch as came with a groan, hiding his face in your neck.

while trying to even your breaths, you brushed through his green curls softly and a few seconds later, he pushed himself off of you with a tender smile and looked at you with so much adoration, you felt yourself tearing up. midoriya stroked your face before getting up and opening his wardrobe, grabbing clothes for both you and himself.

“you can take the toilet, i’ll change out here” he gives you a set of clothes to change into and you thank him with a grin before you close the door behind you.

it takes you a few minutes to process what just happened, because in your opinion this is a wide step in your relationship with midoriya. you’re thankful he gave you one of his boxers, so you can take of your panties that stuck to you as you took it off and you nearly folded it into your dress after you changed into a set of joggers and hoodie that were too big on you, though it didn’t matter.

you ask if you can come out when you’re done and when he answers with a yes, you exit his toilet. midoriya is sitting on his bed, only wearing a pair of joggers as he wraps up his knuckles, that you haven’t seen the bruises on yet. “do you need help?” your tone is tender as you sit down next to him but he only shakes his head with a smile, finishing up then turning towards you with a baby wipe.

“you got some of my blood on you” he stammers out, feeling embarrassed about it and you tilt your head with a grin, letting him wipe it off. “there” he says quietly and you take a look at him. there’s dried blood on his top lip and nose and a growing bruise under his left eye.

“can i have some?” you motion towards the wipes and he passes it to you, then you begin to clean his face. “i don’t think it’s necessary to wrap these up izu, makes you look like a badass anyways” you giggle and midoriya joins you as you’re done. “we should go downstairs, so the others don’t worry too much” you add, to which midoriya only nods and pulls a white shirt on.

hand in hand, you two exit his room and join the others downstairs who are running up to the two of you, checking if everything’s okay.

“i think we can all note to ourselves to never make izuku mad and jealous. shindo looked wrecked” sero grimaces at the end, remembering how the brown haired male looked, many around him agreeing with the tape hero.

“girl, you really gotta stop collecting those mosquito bites, we will run out of make up” mina giggles and put your hood up, pulling at the strings before disappearing behind your boyfriends back, making everyone laugh.

“it’s okay mina, i’ll fund her make up spendings as long as everyone backs off of what’s mine” midoriya replies with a smirk and you’re glad that your face is barely showing because it feels hot.

an: the end :))

#bnha x reader #midoriya x reader #izuku x reader #deku x reader #midoriya izuku x reader #midoriya izuku x you #izuku x y/n #izuku midoriya x reader

[stardustbarbarians]

I'm Using You*

*You're Using Me

A Jake Kiszka / fem!reader fic

Summary: Jake interrupted your night of relaxation for some fun.

Tags: this is literally just smut. like fr no other notes. so that being said, MDNI DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT

Words: 1.4 k

A/N: yeah I got drunk one night and found a new song and thought "hey that'd be fun". So here we are. This, like, just barely passes a blurb, so hurray new Jake fic. Title taken from Sin So Sweet by Warren Zeiders. Enjoy! <3

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You and Jake had a… well. Let’s just call it an “unconventional” relationship. 

During the light of day and in polite company, you two hardly ever looked in one another’s direction. It was rare that you two would speak when the sun was above the horizon. 

But when the stars began dotting the skyline and darkness covered the world like a blanket… well, let’s say that it was rare you two weren’t touching. 

“Say my name,” he growled directly into your ear, his fingers plunging deep within you as his other hand dug bruises into your neck with his tight grip.

Your bare back was pressed into his chest, his arm snaked between the valley of your breasts as he held you in place. 

You were gasping for breath, grasping at any part of him you could reach. Your claw-like nails left mulberry indentations in the shapes of waning crescents on his skin as you attempted to get a grip on the pleasure flooding your veins with each drive of his fingers. 

“Jake,” you breathed, unable to conjure up the mental capability for actual vocalization. 

He let out a deep chuckle that you felt in your own chest. The vibrations added to the scratch of his callouses scraping against the walls of your pussy made you shiver. But it was nothing to the bodily reaction you had to his next action. 

“Good girl,” he praised, breathing directly into your ear. 

Spreading your legs even farther apart to give him better access, you nearly spilled your cum against his thigh you were sitting on. You could feel your entire being shiver with the words, a choked noise struggling to leave your lips. 

“And since you’re being such a good girl, do you know what you get?” 

At this point, Jake took it upon himself to press his thumb onto your clit that was swollen from where he had sucked and lapped at it relentlessly earlier. Only thing about that was you weren’t allowed to cum from his tongue. No, you had to hold onto every fucking shred of your self-control to not explode all over his face. He had growled in your ear that he wanted to prove just how easy it was to make you cum by just using his fingers. He was in a mood when he barged into your apartment that night, a darkness in his eyes as soon as you looked into them. 

You hadn’t even gotten the chance to finish your greeting to him before he was grabbing you by the hair and smashing his lips into yours. It got heated immediately, just like all of your interactions. He was so mad that he had managed to rip your sleep shirt to shreds as he attempted to take it off. You would’ve been upset if it wasn’t so hot. 

He had then proceeded to hoist you up so that you had to wrap your legs around him, walking you over to your couch where you had been watching true crime documentaries before he knocked on your door. He had all but thrown you down onto it, climbing atop you and shoving his tongue into your mouth. Instantly his hands began roaming, his guitar calluses dotting his fingertips scratching against the soft and sensitive skin of your breasts. Your breathing had begun to come in bursts, each exhale laced with a small mewl of pleasure. He knew that you liked it when he just took what he wanted from you, so made sure to do exactly that. 

Jake circled the pad of his thumb quickly over your nipple, causing shockwave after shockwave to travel through your body. The entire time, he had been nipping at the skin of your neck, knowing that when you woke up tomorrow you’d have purple blemishes all over the skin there; his signature and claim on you. 

“What do good girls get?” you managed to whine out. Underneath it all, you were impressed that you were able to form a coherent response. 

“They get to cum,” he whispered against the shell of your ear, pressing his teeth against it after he finished speaking. 

That was all you needed. You had been teasing the line of release for so long now, you feared you were seconds away from imploding. At the words, you had cum all over his thigh, your body shaking as your hips rocked back and forth against his fingers in order to milk your pleasure for all it was worth. You let out the most pathetic noise to ever grace your ears, knowing that your face probably matched your tone. 

It had amused Jake endlessly, that laugh of his ricocheting through your body and only adding to the pleasure. 

It was seconds later that you fell limp against his chest, spent completely after how hard you had just cum. Jake used the opportunity to turn your head towards his, immediately locking lips with him. They were rough, the chapped skin scraping against your soft lips. But you had no complaints. It was part of the experience of Jake. 

“Was that good, pretty girl?” His voice was just barely above a rasp, his eyes dark with desire. 

You simply nodded your head, a blissed out smile on your lips. You felt like you were melting from it all, feeling like chocolate that had been left out in the sun for too long. 

“Good.” He repositioned you with your back laying down on the couch, caging you in with his arms. “‘Cause we’re only just getting started.” 

That was the only warning you had gotten before he began unzipping his jeans and pulling his cock out from his boxer-briefs. You couldn’t help feeling like the prey to his predatory look, looming over you as he stroked his cock. 

You had gripped his shoulders as he lined himself up, your nails burrowing into his flesh as he plunged into you. You were already so slick from his spit, your slick, and release that he all but slipped in to the hilt with no resistance. 

You cried out at the sensation, your eyes rolling into the back of your head as he slipped inside of you. Even though you two had done this all before, it never failed to take your breath away how wholly he fit inside of you. Your hole and walls began fluttering around him as he paused in order to allow you to adjust to his size, staring down at you intensely with this smirk that made your heart jump. 

Once you felt comfortable enough for him, you nodded your head and whispered out an “ok”. 

“Buckle up, angel,” he purred with a smirk pulling at the corner of his lip before setting a pace that made you see stars. 

Each drive into you milked moans out of your throat, each one louder and more emphatic than the last. If your eyes had been opened, you would’ve been able to see Jake’s cocky grin as he relished in your pleasure. 

Eventually, it got to the point where even Jake was making small noises with every thrust. You had done this enough times with him that you knew what this meant. 

“Come on, baby, take what’s yours,” you egged on, knowing that it would push Jake further towards the edge. 

And just like you predicted, Jake was hurtling towards release. With one well timed squeeze of your walls around him, Jake began sputtering for air and pulling out of you quickly before spurting his cum all over your chest and stomach. 

He loomed over you as he took a moment to catch his breath, stuffing himself back into his pants before zipping up and leaving for the bathroom. You watched him disappear down the hallway, burying your head into the pillow behind your head and waiting for your heart rate to slow down. 

It was a moment later that you snapped your eyes open after feeling something cold and wet hit your chest. You yelped in surprise, seeing Jake chuckling twistedly at your reaction. 

“Real mature, Jake,” you bit, taking the washcloth he had thrown at you and wiping yourself off. You shot him a dirty look as he continued to laugh. 

“You seem to think I’m mature enough to let me fuck you nearly every night,” he shot back. 

Rolling your eyes, you got up to your feet and threw the washcloth at him. 

“Don’t be seen leaving my place!” 

“You think I want people to know I came here??” 

“Just get out!” you yelled, half a mind to watch him to make sure he left. You didn’t have to. You were reassured of his departure by the slamming of your front door. 

“Prick,” you muttered under your breath, setting off to shower and resume your night of watching true crime documentaries before you had been so rudely interrupted. 

+++

Tag List:

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#greta van fleet #greta van fic #jake kiszka #jacob thomas kiszka #jake gvf #smut smut smut #jake kiszka x reader

[eggyrocks]

𖦹track sixteen: drunk voicemail𖦹

m.list

it's not a huge bar. it shouldn't be this difficult to find her.

but kuroo finds himself running in circles, sliding between clusters of drunk friends and dipping into the alleyway and recruiting whatever girls he can find to ask them to check bathrooms.

he keeps finding traces of her. a smoking cigarette bud half-heartedly stomped out on damp pavement. her named passed between her friends just after she slipped away from them. an empty can of her favorite beer with stains of her lip gloss abandoned at the bar.

traces of her, but not her.

he tried calling her, and is met with the slurred voice of nishinoya on the other line, who, despite standing just beside kuroo, yelled into the receiver that he was holding onto her phone for her.

for whatever reason.

kuroo's half-convinced she's avoiding him. and when he finally finds her, leaning up against the bar, trapped there by the delay in service with impatience laced in the details of her expression, he plans to ask.

"hey," kuroo greets, squeezing into the spot next to her, ignoring the disgruntled expressions of the person he slightly nudged out of the way. "having fun avoiding me?" he questions, keeping his tone light, trying not to sound like his feelings are as hurt as they are.

she shrugs, fingers tapping against the wooden bar top. "sort of. where'd your girlfriend go?" she asks, raising her voice slightly so it'll carry over the buzz of noises around them.

the word girlfriend echoes around in his head for a second. he thinks about the way word sounded coming from her lips: sharp, quick, spit out like it was bitter on her tongue. and then he can't help but smirk. he thinks that maybe he shouldn't, but he does. he smirks and he says to her, "oh my god, you're jealous," and the notion that she might've been makes his chest swell, makes his thoughts spin.

she lets out a bark of laughter at this, but turns her head slightly, eyes searching for the bartender to play off the heat in her cheeks. "your big head's gonna pop if you're not careful" she snarks, but still will not look up at him.

kuroo leans his forearm on the bartop and tilts his head down towards hers. "you don't have anything to be jealous of," he tells her in a low voice, "you got all my attention now."

"hurray for me," she replies dryly, and with a roll of her eyes. she keeps her nerves locked down, but kuroo picks up on the small things. the way she holds her breath when he inches closer, the way her eyes dance to avoid him, her tapping fingers freezing and curling up into a tight fist.

her gaze catches the bartender, and she orders another beer before looking up to kuroo. "you want a drink?" she offers.

"nah," he replies, leaning back on his heels and giving her a bit of distance. "i'm not drinking tonight."

she frowns up at him. "you're not?"

kuroo grins. "got an important date tomorrow morning. can't risk being hungover."

he catches the way her eyes dilate before she can turn away, leaning over the bar to pay.

taglist: @nnnyxie @cr4yolaas @httpakkeiji @localgaytrainwreck @macchiatomegumi @hikikaimar @noodleswastaken @garden-of-bri @rinaheartss @infinitelytimebound @scxrcherr @ahseyy @eyes-ofhell @sleepy-time @polish-cereal @literally-a-ferret @crownj1min @sereniteav @kozuskitten @02shuuu @rasisarchive @marzzn @barricadesenthusiast @yvjitadori @yeehawslap @phoenix-eclipses @wyrcan @rieieieieieiei @thechaosoflonging @publicbathroompanic @bedeater @rottingt1tz @rintarawr @deluluforcarlos55 @cherrypieyourface (please complete this form to be added)

#Spotify #haikyuu smau #haikyuu #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu texts #haikyuu x reader #hq #hq x reader #hq x you #hq smau #hq kuroo #kuroo tetsuro smau #this is my kuroo smau #kuroo smau #kuroo tetsuro x you #kuroo x you #kuroo x reader #kuroo testuro #haikyuu kuroo #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo tetsurou

[jade-kyo]

Non-Red vs Blue fans guess the fake fact: results!

Find the og post here

Alright time to finally review the results! Correct answer is at the bottom of this post for those not interested in all of the results and explanations!

So the most highly voted option at 23% was Elijah Wood which I’m sorry to say is incorrect! Elijah Wood was a voice actor in the series. He played the role of Sigma! What this big name actor is doing in a random web series I have no idea but it’s still one of the wildest things to me.

Now the aspirin overdose comes in with 17.3% and got mentioned a lot in the notes and it is also incorrect. However I will admit to some poor wording on my part because it was actually an allergic reaction not an overdose. That’s a genuine oopsies on my part 😅

Florida sinking into the ocean gets a 10.1% and is also incorrect! The state of Florida does in fact sink into the ocean and it’s implied this was to cover up the disappearance of Agent Florida (who is also the guy who dies from the aspirin)

The gay guy, who’s name is Donut btw, becoming Jesus comes in with 8.3% and is in fact very real. He even walks on water. It was wild and tbh I barely remember it cause it’s from a season I dislike but it was too wild not to include.

With 7.2% I can say for sure that the giant killer robot is indeed dressed up in cute hats! Specifically a sombrero! Also the robots name is Freckles.

CPR for a bullet wound in the head gets 6.7% and is in fact considered effective medical care. Now I will say this later gets retconned and it turns out the guy didn’t actually get shot in the head the bullet just grazed him and his armor locked up making them all think he was dying- hence the choice of word being considered. The characters fully believe it but the CPR did not actually save him cause he wasn’t even hurt to begin with.

The crazy love triangle comes in with 4.7% and is also very canon and is exactly as it’s said. There’s literally just this insane love triangle for like two seasons- honestly the only love triangle plot I ever enjoyed.

With a solid 4% I can say that there is in fact canon mpreg! Hurray? Idk man this one’s exactly as it sounds. Dude got knocked up by an alien.

In last place with 2.5% of votes is the main character dying repeatedly. This is also incorrect. First off this guy is named Church which very funny on its own. Secondly it’s actually one of the first running jokes in the series how much this dude dies. Until it’s not a joke 🫠 also a few people pointed out RvB doesn’t have a main character and while I agree I felt it was simpler just to call Church the main character for this poll since it’s designed for people who haven’t seen RvB and I would argue that the majority of the narrative centers around Church even when he’s not there.

And now for the correct answer, coming in at third place with 16.1% is Caboose is god!

Now I will fully confess to being sneaky with this one. This is actually a joke made within the series but it is not true at all. Caboose is not actually god and the platypus is just that fucked up. I knew nothing I could come up with would be able to match the absurdity of this series so I decided to twist a few words so that way everything seemed equally fucked up.

And that concludes the poll! I will now leave you off with a few honorable mentions that did not make the Final Cut:

They have a Spanish speaking robot. None of them speak Spanish.

He’s a ghost but not actually a ghost but actually a highly advanced computer program

Woman has mega beef with an AI copy of her dead mom

The highly advanced computer program can’t aim for shit

The first 5 seasons were revealed to actually be a prolonged torture session

Dude chases his dead gf through multiple iteration of the same memory

Woman developed a sibling like bond with an AI copy of her extremely neglectful father

#rvb #red vs blue #rooster teeth #jadey speaks

[harleehazbinfics]

HOME IS WHERE MY HEART IS. (S1 FINALE)

Chapter 12: Our Deal Table of Contents | Profile

Word Count: 1400+ A/N: 😭 we're already done!! thank you sm for being part of the journey hngh, it's insane how much this blog has grown despite it just me spitting out random scenarios, this was my first series here. so im grateful to each and every one that has come with me in the process. every heart, comment and reblog made me happy. please enjoy the s1 finale! I'll be over my other works doing stuff so you can check them out here: link

“I need you to stay here,” I say holding Abby’s shoulders, “We can’t risk you getting caught in the crossfire. Promise me.”

She furrows here brows before nodding, “I understand.”

“Good,” I say firmly before kissing her cheek, “I love you so much.”

“Stay safe, mom,” she encourages with a smile.

I return it and give her crystal orb. “Here, you can have this. This can help you see what’s going on outside.”

She accepts and immediately inspects it. Her fingers brushing on the screen seeing her mother’s face in the orb as she was in real time. I gave a smile which was transmitted to the orb instantly. She slides on the orb one more time to her father, attending the speech Charlie was speaking. She hid it with the use of her powers and gives me one final hug.

“Dear, why don’t you join the other’s downstairs? You should get to know them better now that you decided on staying,” Alastor joins us and holds my waist with one hand and his microphone in the other.

“Oh! Right!” she enthusiastically runs down the hall and disappears.

“Gosh, where does she get that energy from,” I comment holding my cheek, feeling tired just looking at her. “That definitely wasn’t from me.”

Alastor laughs and gives me a kiss on the cheek before we follow after her slowly. He says this instead of answering, “As long as she’s happy that’s fine!”

I roll my eyes playfully at him and gazed at the group that gathered around the bar. I spot Abby holding a glass of orange juice trying to get closer to Cherri. I laugh at her actions, of course she chooses the coolest one to be her friend.

“Hi! I’m Abigail! You can just call me Abby,” she introduces holding out her hand.

“Uhh, sup? Name’s Cherri,” the pinkette answers reluctantly shaking her hand.

“Pleasure to meet you! We’ve met before but I never caught your name,” Abby asks the arachnid.

“Angel Dust. Angel’s fine, toots. Orange juice? What are you? 5?” Angel asks not exactly mocking her, but genuine confused by her choice.

“I’ve tried liquor before but it’s just not for me,” she replies not even bothered that she just got slighted.

“Fair enough,” Angel shrugs before walking to the bar to talk to Husk.

“So, uhh, your dad’s the radio demon?” Cherri asks trying to be polite.

“Indeed!” Abby answers enthusiastically, “We haven’t seen each other since I was a kid though.”

“Oh, why? What happened?” Cherri asks placing her drink down.

“He—uhh died when I was younger and by the time I was 15 I only had a few memories that I remember of him.”

“Oh shit. What about your mom though?”

“Mom also died when I was 14. So, I was on my own for a time in my life.”

“Well, at least we survived that shit. To being orphans!” Cherri exclaims raising her glass to Abby.

“Hurray?!” Abby panics confused and clinked their glasses together before doing the same as Cherri who downed her drink.

Alastor and I laugh while Niffty crawls on the railing between us.

“Ah, the celebratory night before a courageous last stand. It's been a surprising thrill to witness these wayward souls find connection. Almost makes one sentimental, eh, Niffty?”

 “I really like them, Alastor. They let me put on roach puppet shows without booing!” she replies enthusiastically, while I watched the two talk with a smile on my face.

“Ah, an enjoyable collective to be around. I admit one could get accustomed,” he sighs looking back down at them, particularly at Abby who was getting along with them quite well.

“I dub thee, King Roach,” NIffty proclaimed, putting on a bug crown on Alastor which he let her do and gave her a little bow.

“Oh, to understand your twisted little mind!” he comments before they started cackling where Alastor just played along with her. It made me sentimental of how he used to play house and have tea parties with Abby way back when.

Niffty scampers off with the other giving me the space and scoot over to him. “Will you be okay handling Adam?” I asked worriedly.

“It’ll be fine. I’ll be as careful as can. I’m not going to lose to him that easily,” he snorts, “You, however, I need you to back to me in one piece.”

I sighed and reminded him, “I think you forgot our deal, Al. I won’t exist if you don’t.”

He falls silent and tries to think. While I continue and place my hand on his chest, “You own my heart and my everything. This body beats for two. United as one, in sickness and in health—”

“Til’ death do us part,” we finish together. He wordlessly encases me in his arms and fall into a comfortable silence.

--timeskip

“Here they come. Get ready, everyone. We fight together!”

“Now! FOR YOUR SOULS!”

“Let's FUCK THEM UP!”

Alastor and I waited for them at the top of the hotel, watching as the angels begin their assault.

“Let the slaughter begin. AHAHAHAHAHAHA-HA!” Alastor yells swinging his microphone, summoning a black force field around us.

I left him and dove all the way from the rooftop and phasing to the floor, allowing me to transform into my giant demon form. With a terrifying grin and half lidded eyes that craved for chaos, I let out a shriek causing everyone to cover their ear giving Alastor to cut down the angels.

I raise my left and clenched it into a fist encasing every angel that aimed for me in a bubble immobilizing them, leaving them to Angel to shoot down. In that moment, Alastor’s shield disappeared leaving the silhouette of Adam with a sadistic smile.

He lounges for me while I only swiped him away with my hand causing him to tumble and crash on top of the hotel where Alastor was waiting for him. I left them and focused on helping the others, summoning my underlings to help the others.

After a while of killing angels, their numbers didn’t seem to waver making me curse under my breath feeling the weight of prolonging this fight for so long. I let out a pained shriek collapsing on myself and transforming back to my original form.

‘Shit. Is Alastor ok? What the hell happened?’ I thought starting to get delirious with the pain.

“MILEDY NO!”

“SUCK MY HOLY LIGHT, FUCKERS! YEAH!” Adam yells over our heads making me glare at him.

“What? Alastor was supposed to handle him. Oh no, he must be—”

White noise fills my ears as my vision starts to fail me leaving me in an unconscious state, where the last thing I see was tendrils wrapping around me.

---later

“Dad!”

“Alastor!!”

Everyone hugs him seeing his return that he was safe, however they fail to spot Miledy with him.

“Dad… Where’s mom?” Abby asks worried, trying to calm herself before she goes crazy looking for her mom.

“She’s fine. Just resting,” he assures giving his daughter a smile. ‘She has to be,’ he thought furrowing his brows before following the others.

<<flashback>>

“Al!” I scream getting away from an exorcist that was after me. She pushes me down and attempts to stab my chest. As soon as the steel met my skin, a tendril pushes her off me. I screamed as I see a large cut, opening up my chest. I watch mortified as I see my own beating heart.

“Miledy!”

Alastor rushes to me and knelt beside me. I hold onto him tightly confused and afraid, “Al, where are we? I don’t know what’s going on. I’m scared!”

His breathing stutters and tries to answer her, his eyes knit together and wore a frown. “It’s okay, you’re okay. I need to save you. You have to make a deal with me, Mel.”

I nodded my head despite not knowing anything he was saying. I just wanted to get out of here and be with him. Explain things to me carefully without my life being endangered and on the run.

“Mel, you will have to give your heart to me. So that no one will find your weakness, this is to keep you alive. Do we have a deal?” Alastor says to me seriously a faint green light emanating from him and his outstretched hand.

I nodded vehemently and shook his hand, “Deal.”

TAGLIST:

@marxo5, @whaatttlaufey, @froggybich

#hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin angel dust #hazbin charlie #hazbin lucifer #hazbin husk #hazbin vaggie #alastor x reader #alastor #the radio demon #alastor the radio demon #alastor x oc #alastor hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbinhotel #home is where my heart is #hiwmhi #harleehazbinfic

[kisscara]

Hey hey~! Can I perhaps request a light angst about reader getting really sick(not to the point where it’s fatal) but ends up coughing a lot and scara/wanderer gets scared because of what happened with the kid in his third betrayal??

(´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)♡

promise me? [scaramouche x gn!reader] ⎯⎯ angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, fatui!scaramouche

a/n: HURRAY an angsty req to get myself fired up and i hope you like this anonnie :3

scaramouche idly stands outside of the bedroom door. he looks down at the bowl of soup in his hands. his heart makes little tugs of pain each time he hears you cough and endless thoughts run through his mind as he recalls the way he lost someone else in the exact same way.

but you wouldn't. you'd never. all you've ever been to him is loving and understanding. surely, there's no way that you'll leave him so abruptly. then again, that's the way he thought with them. scaramouche hesitates before using one hand to push the door open. he enters the room with his eyes fixated on your figure.

"oh, scara, i told you that you didn't have to stay back today. aren't you-" you stop short to cough before continuing with a strained voice, "aren't you busy?" scaramouche mutters, "are you an idiot? i'm not leaving you home alone in this state." he sets down the bowl onto the drawer by the bed and sits with you.

you notice the way he avoids looking into your eyes as he slowly mixes the soup with a spoon. "i'll be okay, scara. you know me and my immune system." you make a futile attempt at comforting him. scaramouche lightly scoffs, "i never said i was worried."

you sink in your spot with a pout. "liar." at that, he finally looks up to meet your gaze but you turn your head the other way with your eyes closed. scaramouche huffs as he tries to feed you the soup, "don't be difficult, (name)." you lie down on the bed, eyes still closed, and you slip under the blankets.

"i'm not looking at you 'til you believe me." you say, voice muffled by the sheets. scaramouche deadpans, "c'mon, i do believe you. i... i'm not worried about anything, okay? worrying's for weaklings such as you." he puts the bowl back onto the drawer and pulls the blanket off, only to find nothing.

scaramouche looks around and notices your head of (color) hair at the side of the bed. he gets onto the mattress and peers to where you were sitting on the floor. "i don't like it when you think like that, scara." you murmur, picking at your nails. he joins you on the floor. "think like what?"

you finally look at him and your soft gaze is one full of sorrow. "like i'm going to leave you." scaramouche gulps at your words and looks away, only to be stopped by your hand gently cupping his cheek to face you. "i love you and you know that, or do you?" you query.

he tightly holds your hand holding his face, "i do! i do know that, i just..." scaramouche's eyes scan yours for anything. 'say something, please.' he's begging and tears blur his vision. you wipe a falling tear, "if you know i love you, then why can't you put your full trust in me?"

you sniffle as your own tears peek at the corner of your eyes, "it hurts me to know that you think i'll leave you in the blink of an eye." scaramouche shakes his head and his vulnerable side comes out into the light. "no, no, it's... i don't want you to end up like him." there's parts where his voice cuts off and you sigh.

"i promise you," you push your lips against his and whisper, "i won't leave you but you have to promise me that you'll do the same and that you'll trust me from now on." scaramouche falls silent. you tear up even more, "promise me, kunikuzushi." he wavers before holding your face in his hands. "i promise, (name)."

you thinly exhale, "thank you." scaramouche gives you one last kiss of reassurance. "i promise." he plants kisses all over your face and neck before returning to your lips. you laugh and hold him back by his shoulders, "dear, you're going to get sick." scaramouche mumbles, "i can't get sick so,"

he wraps your waist in his arms, "let's stay together just a little while longer." you bury your face in his neck, "okay." you pull away and get back onto the bed, "now, are you still going to feed me?" you smile as he sits by you. "yes, now come here. i'm going back to work tomorrow, so you better be well by the morning."

you sit on his lap and he holds a spoonful of the soup in front of your mouth. you carefully sip it as to not spill any and burn your tongue from the heat, no less. scaramouche is bound to get another spoonful but you stop him by hugging his torso. "i feel better already."

scaramouche's pupils dilate.

he rolls his eyes, "that's not going to work on me. i know you hate ginger soup but you have to take this." you whine, "but seriously, it tastes bad..." scaramouche tsks, "do you want to stay sick forever?" you look at him and grin, "yeah. so then, you'll stay home everyday and take care of me!"

scaramouche places a hand on your head, "no. finish eating or i'll make you take medicine instead." you panic and sit up, "but that's not fair! i had one spoon, that should be enough!" scaramouche squints at you, "a spoon of soup is not the same thing as a spoon of medicine."

you grip fistfuls of your hair in frustration, "i thought the fatui were stupid!" scaramouche scoffs, "not me, because i chose you." you pause and sputter out in a laugh, "you're so corny." he gets out of the bed, "medicine it is."

© kisscara

#📼 — 𝓦.𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒. #✎﹏ 𝐚non #gender neutral reader #genshin impact #genshin #genshin x you #genshin x y/n #scaramouche x you #scaramouche x y/n #scaramouche x reader #genshin imagines #genshin imagine #genshin fanfic #genshin fanfics #genshin fanfiction #genshin fanfictions #scaramouche #genshin fluff #scaramouche fluff #scaramouche angst #genshin angst #scaramouche imagines

[lululawrence]

It’s November, and around my house that means I’m getting into gear with all of my Holiday and Winter Cards! This time of year is always rough for me, but one thing that always makes me happy are Christmas and Winter cards. This is my 9th year doing this, which is hard to believe, but I’m crazy excited to be able to continue the tradition this year, and I'm doing so with something new!

The cards are in the process of being made entirely by me, as always, but this year I'm also trying my hand at watercolors so every card will be unique with a bit of art that is hopefully not horrible adorning the front hehe

I'm still making them, but the rainbow trees in the banner are a preview of the art that will be featured on most of the cards and then I will add my personalized messages and send them filled with all of my love and good vibes! I can't do that without some important information from YOU though! So...

WANT A CARD? HURRAY! Here's how it works.

As stated above, I'm still working on the cards and they might not be sent out in time for Christmas, but they will all be mailed, I promise! haha

Through the rest of the month of November and maybe a little into December, I’ll gather addresses and finish the cards so I can start writing out the cards ASAP. Life happens, so the cards might not all make it to you before the new year, but I’m going to try my best to make it happen! Even if my goal of mailing them in early December doesn’t happen, you’ll definitely get a card at some point if you claim one.

HERE’S WHAT I NEED FROM YOU.

I’ll be collecting addresses using this google form. It’s pretty straight forward, but on the form I will be asking for:

Your address (I will mail them internationally). PLEASE write it out exactly as you would on an envelope, line breaks and all! I’ve had some cards get returned to me in the past because I guessed where the line breaks should be, and I guessed incorrectly, so to avoid that I’d love it if you could tell me where the line breaks are

The name you want me to use for the address as well as the name you would like me to write inside the card. For many, the name will be the same, but for others, it will be different, so to account for that, I’ll have an option for both.

Your tumblr URL. This is just so I can reach out to you if there are any issues.

Your preference in card. I will mostly be making rainbow pride trees affixed to Christmas or winter themed paper, but in case you need your cards to be holiday and rainbow free, I am going to be attempting some winter tree cards as well.

And that’s it! There aren’t any other stipulations or requirements. We don’t need to be mutuals, you don’t even need to be following me or in the fandom tbh. You just need to want a homemade card from me to hopefully bring you some cheer!

Even if you aren’t interested in a card for yourself, please reblog this post and help me spread the word. I would greatly appreciate it!

Thank you, and Happy November!

#christmas cards #holiday cards #winter cards #my art #that's weird to have a tag for and maybe i shouldn't do it but i'm kinda proud of myself for using watercolors and it not going to shit #big thanks to emmu for that btw #this post is two weeks later than i usually get it up but that's how it goes fronds #i'm still trying my best to get these out to people in december!! #rainbows #rainbow art

[crescentmoonrider]

The Boy Who Leapt Through Time AU

(read from right to left)

Well, it's been a minute, hasn't it ? And by a minute I mean uhhhh A Long Time I've said many times I'm going to see this project to the end, and I meant it, even if life sometimes gets in the way. It will just take the time it will need As for today's part, we're finally seeing some Shi-woo again ! Hurray ! Finally a real adult in this house ! The logistics of existing legally in a world where another version of you is currently 6 years old... 's not easy, even when you have a pro helping you out Especially when your name is uh. Pretty unique ? Yeah, we'll go with unique. Anyway yeah Yuuta needed a new spelling for his first name, stat, and I decided to make up some lore surrounding that too (Seriously, I know the reason he's named depressed guy is because mangakas love their meaningful names, but like. In-universe ? His parents better have a Good Fucking Reasoning) The new last name I chose for him, 山本 (Yamamoto) literally translates to "the base of the mountain" and is a pretty common last name in Japan. I picked it as a double reference to Yuuta being from Aomori in my personal canon, and Rika's last name of Orimoto (祈本) - obviously calling himself Orimoto would be too on the nose, and I think the least ties he has to his old identity, the easier it will be to fake documents in the future Oh yeah, also my boy canonically looks like shit in photos lmao

(This image came from promotional movie material iirc, but even the glimpse we see of his student ID in the vol. 0 manga is just. Pitiful. Pathetic boy. I love him so much)

<< first - < previous - part 17 - next >

[Masterpost]

#yumi's art #toki wo kakeru shounen AU #okkotsu yuuta #yuuta okkotsu #yuta okkotsu #toji fushiguro #fushiguro toji #gong shi woo #kong shiu #kon shiu #megumi fushiguro #fushiguro megumi #fushiguro tsumiki #tsumiki fushiguro #jujutsu kaisen #hello it is me i am back with. Comic #yuuta's hair is getting longer haha #but yeah man this took Ages to ink #lots happened. none i will talk about here #but i got a case of Brain Bad basically #and also College. which didnt help #it was fun coming back to this tho #also fun working on the future sketches #looking at this part after all this time #made me notice all the little off things #so now i want to make the next ones #just. extra good ? i guess ? #haha these tags are getting p long #love making comics <3 #hope yall will like this one :)

[tenok]

Still fuming about «Crowley’s so queer it makes Aziraphale looks straight» take. I saw some people saying «queer is not a political identity» as an argument against it... and actually I disagree. Queer is an identity that’s as much about politics and community as is about gender and orientation. «Queer as in fuck you» indeed! And while I’m pretty sure that if you’ll ask Aziraphale he will say that he’s queer because mentally he still in times where it was term preferred by community as whole (or he’ll say that «gay» is his gender because he still links gender and orientation together and it’s a habit thats hard to break), I’ll argue that he’s definitely queer by definition. And I won’t say that one of them more or less queer, I want to vomit just from thinking this, but he and Crowley definitely different flavors of queer; and the point is community.

See, the Crowley we see is not the very community-oriented being. He despises angels and demons alike, he’s not close with humans, through whole series we saw him connected with Aziraphale, maybe Warlock, Shadwell to some point and only as a subordinate he’s not really interested in (Aziraphale actually remembered all the names of soldiers Shadwell pulled from his ass, on the other hand [book, also in script if I remember correctly]). But for Aziraphale community is the whole deal. He links himself to communities: community of book collectors, for example ([in book at least]), community of angels (even in season two he regretfully said that he misses reporting back to his lot), as soon as he put his roots there he become part of British and specifically London community (immediately clocked as British by everyone, for better or for worse). And he’s clearly consider himself and considered by others as part of queer community. For example:

He’s clocked as specifically effeminate gay man (which is part of queer umbrella oh my god stop misuse of political slogans gay are not some kind of others that are lesser for being gay!!!) by everyone, to the point of getting called homophobic slurs (twice in book, once in series) and being targeted by literal Nazis. He’s not arguing or denying, he reclaims it: he’s not calling himself gay, he’s proudly declaring that he’s THE southern pansy (not very «hurray establishment» of him hmmm?). He looks so gay and safe that cemetery man from season 2 doesn’t see a problem in telling him he uses grindr!

Tied to this: he can present as anyone else, he chooses to look soft, gay, effeminate, he chooses to make silly sounds and flamboyant gestures, and as soon as he gets comfortable he likes to go a little campy (can you imagine Crowley in ribbons and frills? do we see male-presenting Crowley in pink silky shoes? would he fight to the death before you put him into pencil-drawen moustache and bright cape with shiny starts? yes he’s GNC! there’s more then one way to be GNC and one is not better then other because it’s in black and sexy!). I’ll argue that him choosing one comfortable presentation and stick to this is no less groundbreaking by heavens standards then «hoarding all the genders» since he’s not treats his corporation as «meat suite», he really had an identity tied to it!

And using this identity he becomes part of 100 guineas club. Part of gay/queer (it was in times where this distinction was meaningless) community with fellow queers, where he learned queer ways, such as dances, becoming part of queer culture as a whole (and should I remind you that back in days drag was mandatory part of such clubs? if we measuring queerness by how close it to cross-dressing apparently). He also collects literature by queer authors, immersing himself in this culture, again. Do I remember correctly that Oscar Wilde gifted him one of his books specifically? So we can safely assume he hangs with queer authors as well? Correct me if it’s not in canon (I’m freely mixing tv and book canon there btw although usually I treat them as two different things)

He also lives in Soho. He specifically chooses to live there, knowing perfectly well what a neighborhood it is (even back in 1600s it already had a Reputation). He knows what it says about him and he aims for it! (Crowley lives in Mayfair because it says something about him too — remember that while Aziraphale constructed himself around being soft and gay, Crowley intentionally made himself look as irrating rich asshole. If this asshole has vibes of sinister gay that would gladly corrupt you if you ask nicely, that’s another story) He is a part of this community! As a word of god, he: speaks Polari freely because he used it… with other queers (as oppose to Crowley that knows «bits» because he hangs out with criminals); he hide incriminating things from fellow Soho residents back when there were police raids (breaking law to help those in need is reacurring theme with him!). He still part of this community, he knows people, people knows him, he literally gives place to lesbian women for free so she can have her dream shop (supporting your local queer business!) (also great call back to Edingurg minisode! Aziraphale, personal saint of broke lesbians!)

I’ll also argue that letting in first Gabriel and next Muriel was a very queer of him. Queers help other queers: he may not like Gabriel, but «he has no other friends» (and he's homeless after being kicked out from heavens after disaster forbidden love affair with other queer being, hmmm? paralleles with reality of being queer much?), so he steps in. And Muriel, while being the same age as those two (we're NOT child-coding Muriel in this house), vibes as queer youth in needs of guidance, and Aziraphale, that had every right to be suspicious and cold to them, immediately lets them into safety of his shop and tries to be nice and supporting in both older queer and older ND cousin way.

So, in conclusion: Aziraphale is a queer being, that likes to make it clear that he’s queer and queer GNC man specifically; he’s part of queer community for at least couple hundred of years, participant in queer culture, and he watches out for other queers, helping his own as much as he can, using his money and other resources and breaking law to do so when needed. What there can make him look straight even as a joke?

Crowley is absolutely a queer being too, in very queer love with other queer being, and I'm sure he has a blast pocking into rules and boundaries of genders, orientations and all kinds of relationships since he loves questioning and testing so much. He also has a cool rebellious aesthetic and «fuck all» attitude, so it’s understandable that he becomes tumblrs queer icon (and being played by David Tennant helps for sure). But if you ask them both where’s local shelter for homeless queers located, one of them will have an answer and it won’t be a Crowley, or he wouldn’t sleep in his car (I'm joking), and this is as much of the part of being queer as having cool aesthetic or being kicked from home (I'm joking again). And it's a shame that some people want to make a competention out of it, because it gives us infinity possibilities to discuss their different experiences and choices, down to what their respective aesthetic choices says about them, and how they can use their strong sides to support each other! But alas.

#good omens #aziraphale defense squad #bad takes that won't let me sleep at night #makes Aziraphale look straight my ass #that's a nice post! bitchy one will stay in my head! #btw I wouldn't spend my time at it if person that wrote that take made a honest mistake trying to joke but apparently it's not their first #bad take so while I don't want to pick a fight I want to at least rant

[musashi]

I’d LOVE to talk about it!!!! There is NOTHING like holding a physical copy of a fanfic you love in your hands, whether it is yours or someone else’s. Though I do recommend you get a physical copy of your own work first and foremost, it really cements the fact that you wrote a whole ass novel, or a collection of short stories. The first few fics I ordered were ones I wrote myself and I still go out into my living room to pull them off the bookshelf and just hold them, sometimes.

There are a lot of websites that exist where you can print books without publishing them. The website I use to print fic is Lulu. There are other websites but this one is my fave. Some people have probably written beautiful guides on book binding but I would rather just have a service do it for me.  i thought it might be fun to make a whole ass tutorial on my process, if anyone is interested? Because I really think this should be something more people do, I am telling you it'll change your LIFE. Wanna re-read that old fave in your bookmarks? Cut down on screentime! go GRAB IT OFF YOUR SHELF and settle in all cozy :3

SO: HERE IS A WHOLE ASS TUTORIAL ON HOW TO ORDER PRINT BOOKS OF YOUR FAVE FICS.

I use google docs. There are probably ways to do this in other word processing software but google docs is my friend. So this is how I do it. Google is also your best friend when figuring out how to make these adjustments in other word processors fghdg.

So you kinda want to set up the skeleton of your physical fic first. You wanna make a blank document, go to file > page setup and change the paper size to A5. This’ll put it in peak book format! Hurray. You’ll notice things are a bit cramped here but don’t worry, the margins are supposed to be like that. I like single spacing with the typical indent (.50) so thats what I do. I know some people prefer double spacing, so if that’s your jam do it! Just keep in mind it’ll make your book a lot thicker, it really depends on how you want to condense things. Font size is also a factor here. Personally, I LOVE to condense–12 point times new roman font and single spacing is my jam, heres what that looks like:

But again, depending on how long of a story/collection you want to make, you can space things out too. 

Make a nice title page! Mine are pretty simple, just the title and the username. Sometimes I’ll put the fandom name like ‘a [fandom] fanfiction’ but for the most part thats just for PDFs i share of my own fic. When it comes to my own fic I also like to put little dedications at the beginning for flair. Again, that’s just for me.

this is from my sicktember anthology, which is just all my sicktember fics in a neat little book. here's Down's:

this is my favourite part of printing my own books. i like to get sappy with it.

Add page numbers! This is something you can do automatically in most word processors. You can put em anywhere, I always put mine as footers ‘cause I really just like my fic to feel like a real book. This is under 'insert' in gdocs.

If you’re doing an anthology collection or a lot of fics in one book, a table of contents is good to have! If you apply a heading effect to each story/chapter in google docs, you can automatically insert a table of contents. I usually have to play around with mine a little (and edit it after, pin in that for later) but it’s a good thing to have. But in order to make a table of contents you have to actually have the fic in the doc, so let me teach you how to do that.

Congrats @pictureswithboxes, you are hereby my guinea pig. Because your fic is a good length and it’s the first one that isn’t my own that I’ve turned into a physical copy. Everyone please watch as I turn Turnabout Substitution into a book.

There are many ways and many formats you can download an AO3 fic in. Personally I prefer the HTML format–don’t ask me why, it’s just the best one I’ve seen for keeping things easy to edit and intact. If you work better in PDF or EPUB feel free to download those, but it’s my tutorial so you get HTML.

I drop the HTML file into docs. When you open it, you get this nonsense:

'cause that's a whole ass webpage, obviously. so open it AGAIN, this time using this button up top:

And that gives us… well, a lot more nonsense–it drops all the tags in, authors notes, whatever. You’re welcome to keep author’s notes if you like, personally I do without them (i love to read them digitally! I just keep them out of my physical copies) and everything is in 11 pt times font. The first thing I do is highlight the body of the fic and ONLY the body of the fic. I do this chapter by chapter.

Once I have chapter 1 highlighted, i change the font to my preferred size and typeface–in this case, 12 point times new roman. And then, with the body of the chapter still highlighted, i fix the margins/indent–left to 0, first line to .50, and right to 6.50. Then, with all of that highlighted, I paste it into my ‘book’ doc and all the indents/font choices carry over. Easy peasy.

I go ahead and make a chapter header. I think when doing a proper manuscript a chapter is supposed to start at the mid-point of the page, but i usually have the title at the top and the body text starting halfway down.

(my doc is in grey to avoid eye strain. if you do this, make sure it's white when you save it xD)

After a chapter–or any time you want to move onto the next section–use a page break! These are under the ‘insert’ tab. They will automatically jump you to the next page, and they will be necessary, for many reasons, but also because!!!

A new chapter should always start on the right page. In order to keep this correct, I take note of if my right pages are evens or odds in page number. Your first page will always be on the right. If you add a table of contents, it should also start on the right–so add a couple page breaks between the two to make a fully blank filler page. In my experience, because page 1 is always right, this usually means your right page will always be an odd number, but for some reason I'm having some weird mandela effect where i swear it wound up evens one time. huh. never hurts to double check! and triple check.

I ignore this all while I’m pasting the chapters in, but then at the end I go through all of them using google docs’ outline feature. Which is honestly NECESSARY for something like this, if you aren't already using it:

(anything marked as a heading will show up here! or you can highlight something, right click, and add it to outline manually. It's great!)

If my right page is odd-numbered, i check each of them one by one to make sure they all start on odd pages. I add an additional page break in the chapter before if they’re not, to make a filler page. it might feel weird to have all these blank pages in your doc but trust me you will appreciate them when you are actually holding the book.

As I am doing this, I also scroll up to the end of the previous chapters to look for orphans/widows. These are single lines that wind up on their own on the page and look kind of awkward and personally irritate me. Most word processors also have a feature to get rid of these, in google docs you just have to highlight the whole paragraph the line is in (or the paragraph before it, if it’s dialogue or a single line on its own) and apply a heading to it. You can highlight it and click ‘update heading to match’ to do this without changing the font. Good as new! It’ll show up on your outline on the side, but you can delete it by hitting the x beside the lines.

Another thing I do with the body text is i scroll through the whole doc and look for line breaks. AO3 has built-in ones you can insert, and you’re welcome to keep those if they are in a fic you like. Personally i prefer the look of a space to separate, though, so I actually edit them out and replace them with 3 line breaks. Literally just hit the enter key 3 times.

TS here is a case fic, told in the style of the ace attorney vn, which means each chapter has a few locations and timestamps displayed. I do 3 blank line breaks before these, and two after. Because it’s what looks nicest to me. You can play around with aesthetics and see what you like.

Once everything looks good, I scroll back up to update the table of contents if I have it. Google docs has a feature where you can ‘refresh’ it, but… I do not recommend this, because if you formatted your table (which you most likely did, it looks kinda terrible on its own) this will reset the formatting, and that will more than likely space out things or add unnecessary things (like those widows and orphans you marked before) which will add to your page count which means your TOC will be wrong ANYWAYS. So what’s the alternative?

Open your doc in two tabs. Same doc, two tabs. In one tab, stay on your TOC. In the other, click through your outline and input the new page numbers yourself. A little painstaking, but less prone to error. Easy peesy! Here's a bit of my finished TOC for my sicktember book:

Like all things, you can play with fonts and margins.

Your book is READY TO GO. Save it as a PDF, you can do this by hitting the print button in docs and most other word processors. Then instead of choosing a printer hit ‘save as PDF.’ Scuttle on over to Lulu and make an account. Yes it is worth it. Fic!

Lulu is awesome because it has lots of customization options. If you wanna get fancy with it, you could insert images into your PDF and get a colour book! But I just order print books, basic black and white. Once you name and upload your PDF, you can choose EVERYTHING. What kind of paper you want. If you want hardcover or paperback. The world is your oyster. Lulu will then give you a template for your cover, fitted to the dimensions of your fic book based on page number and what options you choose. They technically have a guide that lays this all out for you, but I find it incredibly confusing, so here is the streamlined wendy version:

There are a lot of options for how to make this cover. You can use an image editor, like photoshop, or you can draw fanart, or you can simply go into MSpaint and add some shitty little text to a solid colour if you don’t feel like anything fancy. A lot of people also use canva, which has tons of templates and assets you can throw together. I use canva so much i actually paid for a pro subscription lmao fsdghfgh but I also use photoshop a good deal. I made DTE’s covers in photoshop:

And Down’s cover in canva:

When I’m doing canva covers, I always just save the PDF, pop the template into photoshop, and then paste the images over it and rearrange them to my liking. I think Lulu also has an in-site canva editor but I don’t like learning new software. Photoshop is easy gfhfhg.

WHEN YOU ARE SAVING YOUR COVER. LISTEN TO ME. LISTEN THIS IS IMPORTANT ESP IF YOU NEVER TOOK GRAPHIC DESIGN OR HAVEN’T PROFESSIONALLY PRINTED ANYTHING. When you are saving your cover. SWITCH YOUR COLOUR PROFILE TO CMYK!!! Do not save it as RGB! RGB is good for digital graphics, but if you EVER print something you need to switch it to CMYK. I FORGOT TO DO THIS SOMEHOW when I printed my first two fic books, so their covers look a little washed out. When you do this in your photo editing software, they will look washed out there too–this is normal. They will print SO much better. Just trust me. 

Make sure you save your cover as a PDF and pop it onto Lulu! It’ll show you a preview of your book and cover which you can go by page by page to look for mistakes or anything you may want to change. In this preview the cover will ALWAYS look like a shitty, jpeggy mess. IT DOES NOT LOOK LIKE THAT IRL. I was so concerned fghfg but they print fine the preview just sucks.

wow so cool. this is for Down's hardcover which has a lot of margin. the closest summation of what your book will be like is to turn everything here off but the folds:

so cool. thats my book.

And you’re good to go! Enjoy your fic!!! PHYSICAL FIC IN YOUR HANDS!!! I got to experience the most magical thing recently: my friend bought a copy of Down, and then SHIPPED IT TO MY HOUSE, and i got to SIGN IT. I got to SIGN a copy of a BOOK I WROTE. They loved it that much. And I had the PDFs. PDFs I need to update, because I didn’t know half the shit I just wrote here when I made them. BUT I GOT TO SIGN MY FIC!!! SOMEONE LIKED IT ENOUGH TO BUY IT, AND THEN SEND IT TO ME, TO SIGN!!!

All the money here goes to printing costs, if that wasn’t obv. Paperbacks on Lulu can be under ten bucks depending on how thick they are, and hardcovers are usually under 25. It’s insane to me how cheap it is to print fanfic, and once you try, you WILL be addicted.

I tried to make this tutorial easy to follow, i hope it was! If anyone has any questions about the process, I am always happy to answer. Or, um, if you just want me to do all this formatting FOR you… I might be open to doing it for free. Mutuals get first dibs but I genuinely LOVE formatting docs for printing. I can’t help you with covers (i flounder even making them for stories I love) but I’ll always format a fic or several fics for you. Just HMU ghfghgf

#fic printing #fic printing tutorial #wendy rambles

[svogliata-mente]

diversity wins! this time sakamoto was also there sometimes

translation again also in the descrpition and under the cut:

Brothers, pour it!

Three brothers were going,

and as the evening came

the desire for wine and a game of card

was burning.

The youngest of the three brothers

inquired: “For money?”

The third gives the answer:

“We play for the world,we play for the world!”

Brothers, pour it! Brothers pour it!

For tonight we want to unite once again!Raise a thousand heavy tankards

to love, to life!

Sing a thousand old songs

that resound for the last time

this night in these hallowed halls.

The first plays the queen,

laughing brightly, on the table:

“So hear my name:

Hurray, I’m the Fortune!”

The second draws the king

and pierces the queen’s heart:

“I care little for Fortune,

Behold, I am the Pain!

Yes, I am the Pain!”

Brothers, pour it! Brothers pour it!

For tonight we want to unite once again!

Raise a thousand heavy tankards

to love, to life!

Sing a thousand old songs

that resound for the last time

this night in these hallowed halls.

The third one just sneakily

laughed to himself.

He spoke: “Brother, alas, o brothers,

what jokes you make!

I will free the world from suffering,

from pain and misery too,

I’ll take you both on.

Trump ace, I am Death!

Trump ace, I am Death!”

Brothers, pour it! Brothers pour it!

For tonight we want to unite once again!

Raise a thousand heavy tankards

to love, to life!

Sing a thousand old songs

that resound for the last time

this night in these hallowed halls.

Sisters, pour it! Sisters pour it!

For tonight we want to unite once again!

Raise a thousand heavy tankards

to love, to life!

Sing a thousand old songs

that resound for the last time

this night in these hallowed halls.

#sorry babygirl it's a shoka sonjuku thing you know how it is #gintama