#killing any given avatar will matter a hell of a lot to anyone said avatar is actively victimizing

[artbyblastweave]

I gotta say, as someone who really, deeply gets the appeal of revenge-horror fantasies, and of the siren song of vigilantism in general, there was something deeply, deeply satisfying about how thoroughly The Magnus Archives went “No, fuck you” in regards to that “ethical murder” post going around about how vampires should target billionaires or whatever, Santa Clarita style.

I’m deeply leery of flippant attempts to brush off the moral consequences of a vampiric lifestyle with “Oh, I’ll just target bad people! UwU.” That wouldn’t be sustainable! People go to school to try and figure out who’s deserving of punishment and death on a moral, legal and philosophical level, and we all know how that fucking goes!  What, are you gonna start working your way down the twitter callout list? Kill customers who’re rude to you in the hopes that that was the extent of their whole fucking personality? What happens when eight vampires show up at the house of the same convicted sex offender? How many corrupt politicians can you kill before people notice a pattern? For that matter, do you, personally, actually pay enough attention to politicians to tell the genuinely corrupt and abhorrent from the faintly slimy, or the decent ones targeted by the media?

Broadly speaking I’m deeply leery of most media that tries to pawn off vampires and werewolves and the like as misunderstood outcasts while also having them have to eat people to sustain themselves- if X-Men aren’t an ideal metaphor for marginalized groups because they have an inherent potential to be a threat, monsters suck when the narrative shows us that they really are just going to keep killing people, again and again and again, and the best we can hope for is that all the people that they’re shown killing are set up in advance as unpleasant or evil, so it’s all fine. 

It’s a copout. If there’s anything resembling a society of these bastards- or even a small community of them, a la The Magnus Archives- then all those charming supporting characters have almost certainly done something to earn themselves the death penalty a hundred times over.

And that’s what I love about TMA- there’s no ethical way to do it, and most of the avatars don’t bother pretending that there is, or pretending that they care enough to go out of their way to find one. The handful that do either wind up repudiating their power with mixed success (Melanie, Daisy, Martin) or spending all their time working damage control (Jon) and mostly failing anyway. The vigilante monsters (Daisy, Trevor) are arguably the worst, in that they explicitly get the wrong people quite often and then just brush it off as the cost of doing business. Adelard Dekker is the only vigilante in the setting who manages to walk that line without falling off, in that he only ever targets avatars who are actively, patently engaged in killing sprees or mass murder (Throne of melted corpses, anyone?) and he, himself doesn’t have any powers.

(Compare to settings like Worm, where the superpower system is inherently rooted in a person’s trauma and damage, and the “Avatars” thus tend to circle back to it in a way that’s unhealthy, but there are still paths to be productive and ethical within the confines of the system- they’re just really hard to find, and frequently beaten down by conventional human bureaucracy. Compare to The Boys, whose major saving grace was its near complete unwillingness to play ball with the “MCU Superheroes as a marginalized group“ dynamic.)

#Obviously I have complicated feelings on the hunt #because at the micro scale you can usually justify killing any specific avatar on a number of grounds #But at the same time it's extremely reasonable to be leery of someone who'd make it their day job to just hunt and kill avatars all day #But at the same time it runs the risk of valorizing inaction- if you KNOW vampires are murdering people and you think you can stop it #it doesn't make you a bad person to try #And of course you can't deal with the root cause by killing avatars #kill every avatar on the planet and the fears will just make more #but there's an inverse starfish logic #killing any given avatar will matter a hell of a lot to anyone said avatar is actively victimizing #I think they shouldn't have waited until season 5 to give Daisy her Alard dupont moment #I think they should have made it clear much earlier that she frequently got the wrong person #the magnus archives #TMA #parahumans #worm #wildbow #rusty quill #tma meta #vigilantism #thoughts #magnuspod #jon sims #daisy tonner #adelard dekker #melanie king #martin blackwood #magnus archives #discourse #meta #analysis

[apparentlyaswarmofbees]

Deaf MC vs Devildom

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A HUGE thanks to @jaywalk-on-me for reaching out to me about this subject. I really hope I have given this it some justice.

Also, to avoid some of the controversies inside the Deaf Culture: I will not be referencing cochlear implants.

And a note for my fellow hearing people, there is definetelly not much difference between us and deaf/hard of hearing people, in fact, after reading about it, I can hardly consider it a disability seeing it can actually allow them to percieve the world in a much different way from ours and would not have any problems in their life if only us, hearing peers, were cooperative and understanding. Everything we need to do is literally minor details and does not hinder our own lifes in the slightest, in fact, it can even help us too! An example is captioning, there is literally nothing to lose, and honestly, even I put captioning on movies of my mother lenguage because sometimes I just can't understand what is being said and captions really help me with that and enjoy whatever I am watching to the fullest! So let's be more understanding. We are all humans, and can all learn from each other's perspective.

And as always

Warning: Uncensored swearing lol, and reference to lesson 16

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Lucifer

Ah, yes, he knew about it, was in your files, nailed it, he learned your local sign lenguage, all good.

Except his expressions are so damn stiff.

He signs a 'Welcome to The Devildom' and I kid you not, you will not be able to tell if he is trying to be welcomingly polite (and failing miserably) or threatening you.

It was definetelly both

He gets better at it-

Perks if you like classic music though, because you will be able to give him a whole different way of enjoying it.

He won't force you to speak if you choose not to, but he sure will never stop being delighted to hear your voice if you do.

It still baffles him how observant you are, may start trusting you to find details he missed on certain things.

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Mammon

He definetelly forgot everything he learned on sign lenguage the moment he stepped out of the tutoring Lucifer made him and all his brothers, except for Levi and Satan, go through.

Yes he will mistake around 5 signs per day on the first week of your arrival in the Devildom.

And he will often forget that you most likelly cannot hear him (if his voice frequency doesn't match your hearing that is) and go off blabbing without signing and then just go "oi why ya ignoring me" and he definetelly is this close 👌to being wacked with the closest thing at range.

Again, he gets better too.

In fact, once he warms up to you (and that's like, real fucking fast) he will make so much effort to get things right, and he always pays attention to have captions in movie nights even without you asking??

He tries lip reading once when you told him it's not easy and, I will let it to your imagination what on hell he managed to lip read.

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Leviathan

As mentioned above, he didn't need the tutoring. Why? Guess what, he already knew at least a few sign lenguages, all because of the many animes, games and shows he has watched portray it, even though the ammount of representation is small.(btw I recomend DARK, there is a deaf&mute character and oh boi she's awesome, it's on netflix)

So he definetelly had no problem communicating with you, in fact, he was almost relieved.

He doesn't need to speak verbally?? He basically would rather spoon his eyes out than talk on the phone so on drug levels texting instead is like heroin????

And oh lord you NEED to invite him to the music festivals on the human world catered towards deaf and hard of hearing people, be will LOVE it.

A little bit of downside though, some of his expression changes are very subtle, but as he spends more time with you, he will start incorporating character voices into expressions and body lenguage instead, and you bet he enjoys doing it.

He will definetelly make music just for you. You only hear high frequencies? Or maybe only low frequencies? Or just nothing at all but you enjoy the rythmic vibrations? He definetelly has spend an entire night making a full fucking album just for you.

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Satan

Seriously, he knows so many sign lenguages it actually made his way of signing pretty unique!

Another fake ass who will give you gentlemany smiles at first. He may be a way lot more smoother than Lucifer but you bet his fake ass is not passing your vibe check, not with the way his eyes just feel a little bit not right.

Another one who gets better though.

It's kind of nice how he grows so used to signing while speaking that his hands often give off a sign or two even when he is speaking to hearing people.

He will definetelly roast quite a few half assed interpreters.

Also he may or may not have gotten a new obssession after you two watched a few silent movies together??

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Asmodeus

Oh boy this one needs to chill out a bit.

If you can't interpret signs when done too fast then good luck because his hands will literally be able to spell a full fucking paragraph in 20 seconds.

And oh how he explores your other senses.

Definetelly goes to you first to judge how he looks.

Also he is the best option to keep yourself informed?? I mean, it's also something he can relate with, it doesn't matter if someone killed somebody or just broke their nail, he needs to know about it.

He may be a bit disappointed if you don't speak but he gets over it quickly.

Will ruin many people's carreer if they so much as refuse to attent to you just because you're deaf. There's just nothing wrong with it??? Stop being so petty!

He is now your biggest distraction in mid class and you will definetelly end each day carrying at least 10 paper notes in which he will try to speak with you. They definetelly smell like whatever he smells like at the time. And are definetelly written in colored pen. With glitter. And there are hearts. And possibly a kiss mark-

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Beelzebub

Big boy definetelly has two types of sign lenguage he uses, and if literally depends if he is eating and what he is eating.

Normally he is just, normal lol. Since he is pretty much quite a bit of an amateur at it he will make use of speech filters a lot when he needs to remember certain signs.

If he's holding something big like a sandwich he will either just gulf it all in to have both hands free or try to make a simplified version with one hand. I'll admit the first scenario is quite amusing.

Yes some of the first questions he asks is how to spells certain foods.

And yes you bet you won't be able to know all of them because Devildom food is definetelly something.

Oh and get ready for a bit of chaos if anyone refuses your order because you're deaf.

Please tell him to flap his wings and proceed lay on him or hug him. The vibrations will be very much close to one of those massage chairs.

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Belphegor

Oh boy.

First off, he did NOT know about you being deaf because thanks Lucifer.

You guys definetelly spoke in a lot of exchanged notes under his attic door.

He keeps them all hidden somewhere but he will never admit it.

If you're willing to teach him at least how to say 'hi', 'good night' or things like that, he will appear to not be very interested but once the entire lesson 16 fiasco happens they're definetelly the only signs he knows about for some reason when he finally gets tutored.

Still texts you instead.

Even in the same room.

That's what you get from the avatar of sloth I guess-

He does sign a few remarks at you per example commenting on how the new hairstyle Asmo decided to make made his bangs look like a poop behind his back.

Also this:

(The picture above actually happened and was translated to english from my mother lenguage)

#i literally spend DAYS brainstorming this #and then I searched for any other headcanons anyone else has made on deaf people on other fandoms and BOOM #I N S P I R A T I O N #obey me #obey me! #obey me! shall we date? #obey me satan #obey me leviathan #obey me mammon #obey me lucifer #obey me belphegor #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me headcanons #obey me scenarios #sanaulgi this one is for u #707 #707 mystic messenger #lolololololol

[azuregard]

How Rhea Views Edelgard in Crimson Flower

Word Count: 2,296

I’ve been thinking about how Crimson Flower portrays the Edelgard/Rhea conflict. In the route itself, Edelgard is clearly not a fan of the archbishop, but Rhea seems much more concerned with Byleth. While I do plan on analyzing how effective this decision was, I felt like it would be a good idea to offer my two cents regarding the way Rhea views Edelgard first.

When it came down to it, I figured it would be better for me to present the less-opinionated piece first. Unlike the other piece, where I point out what works and what doesn’t, this piece is more focused on analyzing certain quotes in an attempt to make sense of this decision from an in-universe perspective.

One more thing I want to mention before I start is that the analysis is largely looked at from Rhea’s PoV. As such, the language I’m using to describe Edelgard might come across as somewhat harsh. A lot of things tend to get lost in translation on the internet, and I will admit I’m not the best at expressing myself, but I figured I’d address this now just so you know that this analysis isn’t an excuse to attack her (and as someone who likes Edelgard, I have no intention of doing so, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t think there’s any room for improvement).

With that out of the way, I hope you enjoy this dumb little analysis.

The Flame Emperor Unmasked

“You have disappointed me, Edelgard. To think that a descendant of House Hresvelg would dare betray the holy church…”

—Rhea (White Clouds Chapter 11: Throne of Knowledge, Event: Fateful Farewell)

If you chose to teach either the Black Eagles or the Golden Deer, this first quote occurs after you defeat Edelgard at the Holy Tomb. To explain the context of this quote, Edelgard has led the imperial army into the tomb to plunder the crest stones contained within. While Edelgard isn’t aware of what the crest stones are, Rhea is, and given that they’re the hearts of slain Nabateans, the archbishop is justifiably not happy about it.

That said, while Rhea is obviously furious with Edelgard in this moment, she also expresses her disappointment that a member of House Hresvelg betrayed the church in such a manner.

“Professor, kill Edelgard at once. She is a danger to all of Fódlan. Such a rebellious heart cannot be allowed to keep beating.”

—Rhea (White Clouds Chapter 11: Throne of Knowledge, Event: Fateful Farewell)

Rather than perform the task herself, Rhea orders Byleth to kill Edelgard. While this might not seem strange at a glance, anyone who has played Ashe and Catherine’s paralogue is likely familiar with the following quote:

“Lady Rhea is going to personally execute the bishop. I have been appointed as her guard. I want your help protecting her. So what do you say? Will you come?”

--Catherine (White Clouds Paralogue: Falling Short of Heaven, Before Battle)

As you can see here, Rhea is not above executing heretics herself. Unlike Lonato and the Western Church members from chapter 4 (and Seteth and Flayn’s paralogue), the bishop in Ashe and Catherine’s paralogue is the one leading the Western Church. Like that bishop, Edelgard was the one leading the charge against the church at the Holy Tomb. That, combined with her high status, would probably make one assume that Rhea would be the one to personally take her life.

Rhea ordering Byleth to kill Edelgard makes sense when looking at it from an out-of-universe perspective; what with this being the catalyst for the player choosing between the two women, at least if they chose to teach the Black Eagles. That said, when looking at it from an in-universe perspective, it seems odd considering the above Catherine quote. Rhea wasn’t hesitant to execute the western church’s bishop, but she isn’t willing to do the same with some girl who led the imperial army to defile a holy place and, in doing so, likely caused her to relive a traumatic moment in her life.

“To flee is futile, wicked girl. The Church of Seiros will raise its entire army against you, until you have been captured and punished! You have defiled the Holy Tomb, dishonored the goddess, and humiliated your brethren. That crime will never be erased, even if you burn in the eternal flames, and spill all of your blood into the goddess's soil!”

—Rhea (White Clouds Chapter 11: Throne of Knowledge, Event: Fateful Farewell, Azure Moon/Verdant Wind/Silver Snow)

Again, Rhea vows to make Edelgard pay, but she doesn’t specify that she will be the one who will punish her. In fact, she states that the church will raise its entire army against Edelgard, which seems to imply that someone in that army will be the one to perform the deed. This comes to fruition in every route where Rhea utters this particular line; Byleth ends Edelgard’s life in Verdant Wind and Silver Snow, while Dimitri is the one to strike her down in Azure Moon.

The Fall of Garreg Mach

“No matter your reasons, I cannot permit you to go on living any longer!… You must know what a fool you are! The greatest of sins is to make an enemy of the goddess herself!”

—Rhea, to Edelgard (Crimson Flower Chapter 12: Outset of a Power Struggle, Battle: The Battle of Garreg Mach)

Edelgard and Rhea’s pre-battle quote is another interesting one since it’s a lot less hostile than it ought to be. Edelgard’s actions in the previous chapter amounted to not only her defiling a holy place, but also in Rhea experiencing a pseudo-Red Canyon Tragedy. Yet despite this, Rhea and Edelgard’s pre-battle dialogue isn’t nearly as heated as the one-way dialogue Rhea has with Byleth.

“You... How dare you betray me... You worthless piece of garbage... I will punish you myself!”

—Rhea, to Byleth (Crimson Flower Chapter 12: Outset of a Power Struggle, Battle: The Battle of Garreg Mach)

Rhea’s pre-battle quote when Byleth approaches her is much more hostile compared to what you would get if Edelgard was the one to do so. She is in no mood to entertain the idea that they had a reason to turn against her, and she makes it clear that she will be the one to punish them for their decision. While she mentions that she cannot permit Edelgard to go on living, she doesn’t explicitly state that she will be the one to end Edelgard’s life the way she does with Byleth here.

“So you have sullied yourself by joining with the rebels? I hope you came prepared to breathe your last.”

—Rhea, to units who aren’t named Edelgard or Byleth (Crimson Flower Chapter 12: Outset of a Power Struggle, Battle: The Battle of Garreg Mach)

Rhea’s generic pre-battle quote is a middle ground between the two unique ones she has with your lord and avatar. She’s not as hostile as she is with Byleth, but this dialogue strikes me as her being willing to kill the unlucky unit you picked to stand against her (at least compared to Edelgard).

In addition, Rhea doesn’t point out that the unit in question has a reason to turn against the church. As such, she doesn’t distinguish characters like Ashe (whose adoptive father and brother turned against the church and paid with their lives) from characters like Annette (whose father is a devout member of the church). This lack of distinction on Rhea’s part leads me to believe that their betrayal did not sting Rhea as much as Edelgard’s or Byleth’s.

Finally, given Rhea’s status as the map’s ultimate target, she doesn’t move from her assigned position. As such, you will probably only see the pre-battle quotes if you initiate combat, or place a unit close enough to Rhea that she feels the need to defend herself. This, combined with Rhea deploying the monastery’s strongest military force when she emerges, makes me believe that she was hoping that someone else might finish the job against Edelgard and anyone not named Byleth.

Return to Tailtean

“Mother... Oddly the rain has come to fall yet again. At this place, once again... I will fight to take you back... The one who keeps me from seeing you again... I will be sure to return them to the earth from whence they came. The foolish descendant of Hresvelg who bares her fangs at me will suffer the same fate…”

—Rhea/Seiros (Crimson Flower Chapter 17, Field of Revenge, Event: Field of Revenge)

While you could argue from this quote that Rhea is no longer hesitant to kill Edelgard, I have to respectfully disagree here. Even though Rhea states that Edelgard and Byleth will suffer the same fate (that being “returning them from the earth from whence they came”), there is a moment earlier in the chapter that makes me think Rhea isn’t as keen on taking out Edelgard as she is Byleth.

Dimitri: “There is only one person I am after. I have no interest in any other prey.” Rhea: “I will take you at your word. Erasing the other child's existence is my task, and mine alone. I will get you back, Mother... I promise…”

—Crimson Flower Chapter 17, Field of Revenge, Event: Preparing for the Final Battle

While Rhea mentions that Edelgard will suffer the same fate as Byleth, she never mentions that she will personally be the one to enact that fate. Given the dialogue provided above, I would argue that she is relying on Dimitri to do the job for her.

“King Dimitri! There is no retreat for the Knights of Seiros! Fight until none are left standing! Slaughter them all and send them straight to hell!”

—Rhea/Seiros (Crimson Flower Chapter 17, Field of Revenge, Event: Field of Revenge, if not defeated before Dimitri falls, pre-v1.02)

“No... It can't be... There is no retreat for the Knights of Seiros! Fight until none are left standing! Slaughter them all and send them straight to hell!”

—Rhea/Seiros (Crimson Flower Chapter 17, Field of Revenge, Event: Field of Revenge, if not defeated before Dimitri falls, post-v1.02)

The above two quotes only appear if Dimitri is taken out before Rhea at Tailtean. As you can see, there is little difference between the two besides 2–4 words. That said, I would argue that they aren’t all that different. On the surface, they point out Dimitri’s defeat; however, if you look at them with the final quote I will be providing, they could also be Rhea realizing that it’s becoming more likely that she is going to need to take care of Edelgard herself. She realizes that there’s still a way around it, that being if one of the knights gets there first, but the odds of that happening are decreasing.

“An ancestor of the Hresvelgs, who became Adrestia's first emperor... He saved me. Supported me. Gave his all to the cause of defeating Nemesis. That I should find myself here at Tailtean, striking down his scion…”

—Rhea/Seiros, to Edelgard (Crimson Flower Chapter 17, Field of Revenge, Event: Field of Revenge)

This is easily the most important quote that I provided, as it both reiterates the previous quotes and shows us the reason Rhea seems so hesitant to be the one to take action against Edelgard. First of all, it calls back to all of the times Rhea mentioned Edelgard’s noble house. Back in the eleventh chapter, Rhea expresses disappointment in Edelgard, a member of House Hresvelg, for betraying the church. This quote clears up why: Edelgard’s ancestor was someone Rhea clearly thought highly of, and as his descendant, Rhea believed Edelgard should have known better (hence why Rhea stated that Edelgard “disappointed” her).

Unlike Edelgard, who channelled Nemesis when invading the Holy Tomb, Wilhelm gave his all to defeat the crusty old bastard. In invading the Holy Tomb, Edelgard caused Rhea’s trauma to resurface; in contrast, Wilhelm likely served as a pillar of support for Rhea after she lost everything.

Edelgard’s actions from chapter eleven onwards were the opposite of how Rhea remembered Wilhelm, and it wouldn’t surprise me if she saw them as Edelgard disrespecting the memory of someone she cared for. Yet at the same time, given her motivations and relationships, she’s obviously still bound by the past. Rhea knows that Edelgard is doing terrible things that the Wilhelm she knew would never even consider, yet she can’t bring herself to punish her like she did the other heretics because of that connection.

Like how Rhea views Byleth as the closest thing she has to her mother, you could argue that Edelgard’s ancestry makes her the closest thing Rhea has to Wilhelm. Unlike Byleth, who becomes a new Nemesis when they take Sothis’ spine and heart with them upon siding with Edelgard, Rhea doesn’t have anyone else she can project onto the tiny emperor (at least that she’s aware of).

The latter half of the above quote isn’t filled with the determination you would find when she is pitted against Byleth in this route. Instead, she seems upset by the turn of events. In her mind, Rhea knows that Edelgard needs to pay for betraying the church and disrespecting Wilhelm’s memory. At the same time, Rhea’s fondness for Wilhelm makes her unwilling to perform the act herself, at least until she feels she doesn’t have any other choice.

After everything that’s happened, Rhea finds herself facing off against Wilhelm’s descendant at Tailtean, and she’s aware that Edelgard intends to kill her. As such, Rhea knows that she has to strike down the descendant of someone she cared about if she intends to live and reclaim all she has lost.

#rhea #edelgard von hresvelg #fire emblem three houses #fire emblem #meta

[bitofthisandthat]

✖For the meme!

the salty af munday meme

✖ How has Tumblr RP changed since you started?

I’m about to unleash hell, so if you’re easily pissed, I suggest you scroll on. 

In every conceivable way tumblr rp’s changed...for the worst.  I’ve been here since 2011. I’ve seen it all.

Everyone left. How I miss all my past partners...I know people move on, and drama happens, but you know what? I regret nothing. When times were good, this place was AMAZING. So much creativity and censor-free material, you were inspired daily. There were SO MANY more rp’ers and it truly felt like a real community, no matter what fandoms you were in. Plus, people were waaaaayy more eager to reach out and do stuff with you, and cross over fandoms and try any AU or thread style. People WROTE. A lot. There wasn’t a graphic arts contest every 2 weeks, people wrote amazing paras and world built, and we all got SO involved in each other’s threads. I saw way more literacy and way less one-liners. People had their boundaries, and yes there was jealousy abounds, but trust me, the good outweighed the bad. It was way more common to see Lord of the Rings writing with Greek mythos people and Disney writing with anime. And yes, SPN/Dr. Who writing with cartoon characters. I miss all my GoT, Xena, DC, Avatar, and Mythos peeps. I was here for “Rise of the Brave Tangled Guardians” and Monster High. My Eris had so many verses, it was insane. So I remember how people were way more friendly and open and crazy creative with writing. People wanted to explore everything together, and no one was all: “Excuse me you can’t sit with us because we only rp with people that follow our fanon exactly *fartfartfart*” 

No one even heard of dni/trigger lists and everyone played whatever/shipped they wanted. Yes people had preferences, and yes, there were ship wars, but nothing like now. You could still rp with people and not sit through some malcontent’s manifestos on how “I hate that ship so much anyone that ships it is problematic”. If something pissed you off, you just stayed the hell away from it and just vented with your friends off the dashboard. Now, everyone is scared shit-less of offending everyone else, so they don’t do anything--or they’re too private. I get being selective, because I am now, But LORD so many rp’ers now are so closed off and have 1000 triggers and reasons why they don’t want anyone to look at them, it amazes me they have the gall to wonder why no one rp’s with them. GEE I WONDER WHY. Pull the stick out.

I’m not saying creeps and gross people shouldn’t be avoided, and that they didn’t exist---they did. We all have to cultivate our own experiences, but 90% of tumblr takes it way too far. When there’s a TON of rp’ers, you can block anyone and not feel a loss. But now there’s so few of us left, the fact people have so many hang-ups and chase everyone off, is counterintuitive. I guess all the smart people left because they were tired of being censored, hated on, and told they should fuck off for not rp’ing things as politically correct as possible. But now we have an under-population of rp’ers problem, which leads to paranoia, which leads to people being MORE desperate for interaction, which leads to them being rude--when normally they wouldn’t be rude if the community was bigger.

UGH...Politics. Politics are everywhere now. You politically obsessed people chased off the bulk of tumblr rp and artists, NOT the p0rnban. Infusing your personal politics and views into every aspect of a character you’re playing PLUS filling your mun bio with your “platforms” is what killed creativity. Calling people rac.sit or pho.bi.c for every little disagreement is childish and 99% of the time unwarranted and incorrect. Take that shit outside and get it OFF rp. Gee. I wonder why no one feels motivated to write anymore? Who feels motivated to do anything creative if they’re paralyzed with concern that anything they publish on the dash is going to get them anon hate or lose followers and ship mates? You may think you’re cool with “whatever” but that is an ever-present parasite on this site, infecting everyone’s creativity, and we all know it. It’s EXAUSTING thinking in the back of your mind: “shit, if I publish this I may lose my favorite partner.” Even if you’ve written a lot with them, and yes, I’ve lost long term partners over bullshit. So it’s subliminal, even if you think you’re tough and “don’t give a fuck.” Because I don’t give a fuck and believe it or not, I battle how I’m doing things on this blog all the time because so many people now are so petty and unforgiving.

So I guess...I’m not apologizing. This place is composed of too many narcissists that yell fire! in a crowded room if you so much as look at them cross-eyed. Which...prompts them to write call outs about something you may or may not have done in 2016, even if it’s 2021.

Also? You used to be able to ship f/f and m/f without harassment and the cavalry coming into ship sink and slander you behind your back for daring to write women getting love/attention instead of just boys. mm/ff/mf TRULY coexisted. Unlike now, where everyone SAYS they’re for women being treated like “queens” but are hypocritically squicked by females getting off. No one was threatened by anyone’s ship styles, and if someone said they wrote a bi, w/w, or pan character? They truly wrote a bi, w/w, or pan character, not just as a foot note in the character’s bio to get attention.

A lot more has changed and I could rant all day, but these are the main points on my mind at any given moment.

#the-trxangle-guy #asks #ooc #SALTY MUNDAY MEME #MUN OPINION

[ieattaperecorders]

Something's Different About You Lately - Chapter 14: After the Fire

Jon has some visitors.

Note: This chapter contains a few small instances of well-meaning people touching a blind person without warning in a way that startles them.

Read on Ao3

---

He knew that he was in a hospital before he was fully awake. The texture of the stiff sheets and gown, the antiseptic smell, some indistinctly medical quality to the air filled him with the memory of wandering through distant dreams, of emerging into a cold and brightly-lit room. He came to himself gradually, slowly growing aware of an uncomfortable heaviness, of something wrapped around his face and something else restricting movement on his right side. He shifted experimentally and felt a twinge. Quietly, he groaned.

"Hey," came a voice from nearby. "You actually awake, boss? Or is this another false alarm?"

I'm not your boss anymore, Tim, he thought. Then he thought, wait a minute.

"Tim . . . ?" his voice came out hoarse and thick with grogginess. "Where – augh . . . ."

Pain shot through Jon's body as he tried to lift himself into a sitting position. He heard Tim get up and felt a careful hand on his left shoulder, guiding him back down.

"Oooh, don't do that. They've got you on the good stuff, but you're still a mess on that side. Don't be such an impatient patient."

"Where's Martin? Is he –"

"Relax, Martin's fine. Well, not fine, he's been shot, but he's doing a lot better than you. Bullet glanced off your shoulder before hitting him, tore up some muscle and fat but didn't get anything vital. He was awake before you were even out of surgery."

The hand stayed on Jon until it was clear he was going to remain still, then came away. There was an audible scrape as a chair was pulled closer, and Tim sat down again.

"We're all fine too, by the way," he added, as if offended he hadn't asked. "Just so you know."

"And . . . Jonah?"

Tim was quiet for a moment. When he spoke again, his voice was subdued.

"Didn't check if he was breathing when we left him, but he wasn't getting up," he said. "And I can't see anything coming out of that fire."

Jon lay still and tried to process it all. He wasn't sure what he should feel. What he did feel was a distant sort of unsteadiness, whether it was shock or whatever painkillers were coursing through his system, he didn't know.

"Have you been sitting up with me?" he asked.

"Don't get too big a head about it," Tim smirked. "I've only been here a bit. Sasha's come by to peek in as well, and we've visited Martin too. I was just lucky enough to be the one to see your grumpy little face when you woke up."

"Huh." Surprise and a strange melancholy rose in Jon at the thought. He smiled wryly, "and for my part, the first thing I hear on regaining consciousness is Tim Stoker's terrible puns."

"Excuse you, I am a delight to be around and my puns are charming."

Jon laughed softly, lapsing back into silence. The quiet stretched on for a while, solemnity beginning to creep in at the edges again. Then Tim spoke.

". . . You think he's actually dead?"

"Jonah? I think so. Avatars can be hard to kill, but he was very afraid of death." Jon tapped his less encumbered hand against the mattress, considering. "I think . . . if he had reached to the Eye in his last moments, it would have simply watched as his life faded away, doing what it does. Drinking in his fear."

"Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy," Tim muttered, something unsettled in his tone. "What about the circus?"

". . . Depends what you mean, I suppose." Jon tried to choose his words carefully. "I'm not the Archivist anymore, so I don't think they'd have any interest in me now. We're not protected from them, but I don't think they'd have reason to come after any of us. Unless, of course," he added pointedly. "Someone draws their interest by going after them."

"Even if we get away, they're still out there," Tim pushed, something limping in his voice, "Doing what they do to people. Am I supposed to just be okay with that?"

Jon was quiet for a while.

"If you could destroy the circus," he said softly, "which is a big ‘if', but if you could, the Stranger would continue manifesting in other forms. Possibly even as a circus again. You can't keep fear from the world, you'd only be changing details. In the end I don't know if it would save anyone."

"It would hurt those things, though. Wouldn't it?"

"Maybe," Jon said. "Maybe not. Certainly not as much as it would hurt anyone who cared about you."

It was Tim's turn to be quiet. He let out a long, frustrated sigh. "Not sure I like this new, future-memories version of you Jon," he said. "He's kind of a know-it-all."

"You should have seen me when I was literally all-knowing."

"Nightmare. Don't know how Martin put up with you."

"Neither do I." Jon smiled, warmth running through him at the thought. He took a long, slow breath. ". . . You died hating me, you know. In that other life."

"Yeah?" Tim didn't sound very surprised. "What'd you do?"

"Plenty," Jon laughed mirthlessly. "Though by the end I'm not even sure how much it had to do with me. We were lost, hurt, broken people, lashing out in fear and pain."

"Yeah. Starting to think that the Magnus Institute didn't exactly facilitate a healthy work environment."

"No . . . ."

He heard a soft, electronic tapping in the pause that followed. Maybe Tim was texting the others, letting them know Jon was awake? He couldn't tell. A gentle shove hit his uninjured shoulder, making him flinch.

"Well. Let's try not to fuck it up this time around, huh?" Tim said. "I'm gonna go get a nurse and tell them you're up, they'll probably want to check your vitals or rotate your tires or something."

"Right. Uh, right . . ." Jon stammered, "thank you."

The footsteps faded, and Jon let his head sink back onto the pillow. He felt . . . adrift. More so than he had in a while.

He'd been confused and frightened through all of this, half the time he hadn't even known what he was looking for, but at least he'd known he was looking. Even in the long, terrible walk across the nightmare domains, the constant pull of their destination had given him purpose. He'd known what he was hoping for.

And there had been Martin there. Of course.

For better or worse now, Jonah was dead and he was alive. He was severed from the Eye, the others were freed, and dark and terrible powers still lurked beyond the edge of human perception, waiting to Become.

Jon wasn't sure what he was hoping for now. He lay back and waited for the nurse to arrive.

* * *

Time passed in a haze. He had little sense of how much he slept, and the divide between sleep and waking blurred together.

Sometimes he had visitors. Georgie came in not long after Tim, having gotten a very incomplete version of events through Melanie. He hadn't exactly intended to tell her anything when she sat down, but somehow after a few confused inquiries, and a gentle "try me" or two, he found himself spilling everything. It was far more disjointed and emotional than his recounting in the tunnels, but the bulk of it seemed to get across.

When it was over, she just said, "sounds like you've had a hell of a time."

It was the calmness as much as the sympathy that affected Jon. As if he'd just told her about a bad relationship he'd gotten out of, rather than his place in the universe's nightmare cosmology and the end of the world.

He didn't know what to say to it, really, and frankly saying anything at all risked letting the tightness inside his chest come spilling out - the pressure bandage would hide any tears, but Georgie would be able to tell. She saved him by breaking the silence, asking if he had any stock tips or winning lottery numbers from the future to share.

Melanie's visits were less steadying, twice devolving into arguments. It seemed to be a constant between them, that no matter what happened or what forces were acting on either of them, their ability to rile each other was inevitable. She was also insistent that he explain every detail he remembered about what she'd begun calling the "dark timeline." When he complained that framing it as an alternate timeline was likely inaccurate and, frankly, horrifying in its implications, she threw a pen at him.

Still, she came back again afterwards. And still, he was glad that she did.

Sasha reported that her hand was healing, though when pressed admitted he'd been right about her range of motion not returning. She also helped him set the voice assistant up on his phone, which was a great relief. Though it was a bit embarrassing to reveal how little he knew about his own device's functions.

"Honestly Jon, you're only thirty-one," she said, going through some final setup that he'd already forgotten her explanation of. "You've got no excuse at all to be so tech-illiterate."

"Yes, yes. I've had other priorities lately."

"I don't mind you asking for help, understand. But what are you going to do if I get eaten by another evil table someday?"

He felt a stab of shock at the blazingly conversational reference to it. Something must have shown on his face because he heard her pause..

"Sorry. Too soon?"

"Ah. . . depends on your perspective of time, I suppose," Jon said, trying and failing to make it sound like a joke.

"Right. You know, it's all a little distant for me. Unsettling, sure, but on my end it's really just a story. . . ." she trailed off. "Hey, what were you doing in Hainault?"

"Gertrude's storage locker was there -- are you going through my location history?"

"Just the more recent stuff," she made it sound as if he was the strange one for asking, and he grunted with annoyed resignation.

"You should be careful about that."

"About what?"

"Prying into other people. Invading their privacy," he lay his head back against the pillow. "Don't forget that you were part of a temple to the Eye until very recently. You're free of the Institute now, but the power behind it might not be through with you."

She was quiet for a while. Whether it meant she was contemplating what he said or ignoring him so that she could continue digging through his phone, he couldn't say.

"All I'm saying is that it can be addicting," he continued. "That urge to push past the boundaries that people raise against you. Trust me when I say that I know."

"I'd imagine you would." She paused. ". . . What was it like?"

"What was what like?"

"Being all knowing?"

". . . Hard to describe."

There was a pause, and when it became clear he wasn't going to continue, Sasha pushed out an annoyed breath and said "well you could give it more of a shot than that."

"I don't know. Overwhelming," Jon said. "In the most complete sense of the word. Sometimes I had answers, but so few of them were helpful in the end. And the things I saw, the nightmares, the pain of everyone trapped in them. Having to watch that sort of thing, all the time . . . either it destroys you, or you learn to distance yourself. At least a little. If only to keep from breaking down. Neither is very good, but one lets you survive."

Sasha made a thoughtful humming noise.

"It isn't anything you want. Believe me," he said softly. "Even if the world hadn't ended, if I'd just been another avatar . . . any rewards aren't worth the price that others have to pay."

"Yeah," she sighed heavily. "Sounds about right."

Jon relaxed, some tension he'd been carrying in him slowly unlocking. Sasha continued.

"Well. Talking about privacy, while I'm here let me at least show you how to stop broadcasting your location to anyone and everyone," she tsked and scooted her chair closer. "Honestly. No wonder you got kidnapped all the time."

"I don't really think supernatural manifestations of fears needed GPS to find me."

"Couldn't have helped though, could it?"

"Probably not," Jon smiled sadly. "Should've had you around."

"Yeah. Can't imagine how any of you managed."

* * *

Even with his visitors, there were long stretches of time Jon spent entirely alone. Laying in the dark and the quiet, his thoughts shifting like a tide. Sometimes he'd drift back to those first years at the Institute, or the time-beyond-time after the change. Other days he'd lay contemplating the past few months, all the things that he'd re-written and the worries he still had.

Mostly he thought of very little, the twin sophorics of boredom and pain medication fogging his mind into an uncomfortable stasis.

When the knock came, he'd been listening to the soft, white noise of the air conditioning and thinking of how much it resembled distant waves, putting him in mind of a cold and empty shore. Then he heard two soft taps against the door, along with a familiar voice.

"Knock, knock," Martin said.

It was the first time he'd heard his voice since the fire, since the two of them were falling to the ground together. Without really thinking he asked, "who's there?"

"Oh! Right –" he sounded embarrassed. "Sorry, it's Martin."

"Yes, I -- ah, yes." Jon sounded pitifully eager, he knew, but he couldn't bring himself to care. "C-come in. Please."

* * *

If Jon was asleep, Martin decided, then he'd come back later. He probably needed the rest -- had needed it a good long while before they'd both been shot. Really, Martin ought to be at home resting as well. But when he knocked softly on the half open door, Jon turned in his direction, wide awake.

"Who's there?" he asked.

"Oh! Right –" stupid, he can't see you. Going to have to remember that. "Sorry, it's Martin."

Jon nodded, inviting him in and slowly shifting into a seated position as Martin pulled a chair up to his bedside.

He could see the edge of a dressing covering the bullet's exit wound, just peeking up from under Jon's collar. The bandages had been removed from his eyes, and the area around them was still a little bruised and swollen. He looked wrung out, small and tired. But then, Martin supposed, everyone looks small and tired in a hospital bed.

"How are you doing?" Jon asked, "they told me you've been recovering as well . . . ."

"Yeah, just got released this morning." He stretched, rubbing over the bandage that was hidden below his shirt and jacket. "Went home, had a shower, then came right back to the hospital."

"Sounds like an exciting day."

"What about you?"

"Mmm, still looking forward to a few days here, at least. They don't think I'll be needing more surgery, fortunately, and they're weaning me onto less intense painkillers. It's a little exhausting, but apparently I'm recovering well."

"Considering you took a bullet for me," Martin muttered.

A startled-sounding laugh came from Jon. "I'm not really sure that's what happened. More like we both got shot at the same time?"

"Suppose so," Martin said. Didn't quite feel that way, though. "Honestly, I don't even know if he was trying to shoot us at the end, or if the gun just went off when they tackled him."

"Neither would surprise me."

"But then I didn't even think he had a gun, let alone murdered people with it."

"I suspect he was desperate. He probably only resorts -- resorted to things like that when some disaster crept up on him. Like us, or like Gertrude. He wasn't the hands-on type. Which came back to bite him with the ritual. In a way it's the reason I'm here -- or, the memories are, I suppose."

"Right . . . ."

Martin had plenty of time to think about it all, laid up in his own bed on another floor of the same building. About all that happened, about the things Jon told them in the tunnels. More than anything else, it just made him feel foolish. Like he'd been left out of a conversation that had been going on behind his back, and now everyone was looking at him and expecting him to catch up.

Which was pretty foolish itself, of course. Jon hadn't told anyone the whole story -- there'd been no conversation, no loop he was kept out of. It wasn't as if ‘post apocalyptic time-traveling memories' was a conclusion he could have somehow come to if he'd just paid closer attention. It was a ridiculous way to feel.

Sasha had told him, between games of dominoes, that she was glad he'd been there that night because she didn't think anyone else could have talked Jon out of his plan. Which was a lot to unpack, but didn't help with the sense of being out of the loop. Not if it was that obvious. Of course, she might have just been trying to make him feel useful. The way he saw it, he hadn't done much that evening except quietly panic, shout a bit and get held at gunpoint. And get shot. And get Jon shot with him, because he'd stood in front of him.

"I'm sorry . . . ." Martin said, softly.

". . . For what?"

"I saw what was happening, just before the gun went off. I could have pulled you away if I was faster, or thrown us to the ground, or done something. Instead I just froze."

"Martin . . ." Jon tilted his head in his direction. "Even assuming you could have been fast enough, most people freeze up when a gun is pointed at them. I did the same the first few times."

". . . First few times." Martin repeated flatly. "Jesus, Jon."

"I know. It's been a difficult few years."

"I didn't even know . . . ."

"I didn't want you to know," Jon said. "I couldn't tell any of you, Martin, not until everything was ready. You saw how close things came as it was, if he'd gotten wind of things sooner . . . ."

"Right . . . of course."

The two of them fell into an uncertain silence. Jon's hand worried at a thread on the edge of the bedsheet, twisting and twirling it between his fingers. Martin thought about that hand moving slowly and smoothly over his own, about the sorrow on Jon's face when he'd pulled away. Doubt anyone else could've talked him out of it, Sasha's voice repeated in his mind.

"About what you said. In the tunnels . . . ."

Jon visibly tensed, the edge of the sheet twisting in his fingers. "Er . . . which part?"

"The part about me," Martin said, praying that would be enough, that Jon wasn't going to make him actually repeat the words. "About us?"

"Ah. Right," he smiled weakly. "Funny how much easier it is to say these things when you think you're not going to be alive much longer."

"You were really going to tell me that and then go off to die a minute later, weren't you?" There was something quiet in Martin's voice as he spoke. Calm. Like the eye of a hurricane.

"I . . ." Jon hesitated, then nodded. "Yes."

"Bit rude."

". . . Suppose it was."

Martin went quiet. What could he say to that, to any of it? It wasn't as if he didn't get it, insecurity only goes so far when there's a declaration that explicit. He knew what I love you meant, he just . . . felt like he'd only now joined the conversation.

Before the silence could grow too powerful, Jon spoke again.

"We were together. In that other life. By the end of it, at least. I --" he laughed softly. "It took me too damned long to even realize my own feelings, let alone imagine that -- but we were together."

I can't watch that happen again, he'd said. Martin had more or less guessed that was the situation, but it was still strange to hear it confirmed. Surreal to think that Jon had a history with him, or a version of him, that he wasn't a part of.

"Were we happy?"

Jon was quiet for a while before answering. "I -- I'd like to say we were. I don't know if happy is a word I can use. At first we were in hiding, and then after the Change it was . . . well, it was a nightmare. But we had each other, and that made all the difference. And --"

He took an unsteady breath. "I think I was happier in those desperate weeks we had before the world ended than I'd honestly been in years? And there were times I'd see you in that cabin, and you'd be complaining about something, or humming while we cleaned and laughing to yourself. And you'd look different somehow, and it felt like -- there was a part of you that had been tucked away in all the time I'd known you, that was letting itself breathe again, and I was so lucky to be allowed to see it," he laughed lowly. "Or maybe all that was me projecting. Maybe I was the fool who should have paid better attention before. I don't know."

Martin tried to picture himself tucked into some remote hideaway, hiding from sinister supernatural monsters but relaxed enough to be humming and laughing while they tidied up. Tried to imagine what Jon could be referring to, how he'd been different and whether that was a good or bad thing, even. He found that he couldn't do either.

"What was he like?" he asked. "That other me."

A soft smile spread through Jon. "He was like you, Martin. A little older . . . a great deal more tired. More short-tempered, or maybe just more vocal about it," he added with fondness. "He was brave, and frustrating, and . . . and wonderful. Just wonderful."

". . . Sounds like quite a guy." Martin managed.

Jon nodded. Then the smile slipped from him, and his hands came together in his lap,

"I know that you aren't him. That is -- you are, in a sense you're the same person, but you also aren't?" he gestured outward. "Our experiences, they shape who we are, they change us. I know that."

". . . Right."

A part of him had suspected something like this might be coming, and he shouldn't have gotten his hopes up. It still hurt, and he felt guiltily relieved that Jon couldn't see his face just now.

"I just . . ." Jon continued, "I don't want you to think, ah, that I expect anything--"

"No, I get it." Martin tried to smile, tried to sound like every word wasn't twisting in him. "I probably remind you of him? And -- heat of the moment, you thought you were gonna die. I get it. I don't expect anything either."

Jon frowned, looking momentarily confused.

"I know I'm not him, like, it's not the same," Martin continued, clearing his throat. "It doesn't have to be a thing, you know, if you don't want--"

"Martin." Jon cut him off. "I meant every word I said down there. I still do."

The words dried up in Martin's throat as Jon continued.

“I love you. Just as much as I always have. I still want to have a life with you, and I’m still terrified of that life being torn from us. And I don’t know how you feel about me, but I know -- even if any, ah, feelings are returned, I--” He took a deep breath, “What I feel for you, it’s, well, it’s a lot? There are so many things I’ve been through with you that you haven’t been through with me, and that’s good, I’m glad you haven’t been through them because they were mostly horrible. But I can’t deny that many of them brought us closer --”

“Jon . . . .”

“And -- and I don’t want to scare you off with the -- the intensity of my feelings but I’d understand and I wouldn’t blame you --”

Martin reached out and put a hand on Jon’s arm. The flurry of movement and talk came to a sharp standstill.

“Jon,” he said again.

“Oh. Um,” Jon’s voice was small and quiet. “Oh.”

". . . I don’t know how I’m different from the Martin you remember. And I don’t know how he felt about you, or how what I feel is different,” he said slowly. “All I know is that when you said you were going to go off to find a quiet corner and kill yourself, it felt like the whole world was falling apart.”

Jon was still under his hand, barely breathing.

“Don’t do it again.”

Quietly, Jon nodded. Martin pulled his hand away, settling back into the chair. For a while neither of them said anything,

“I mean, listen . . .” Martin finally broke the silence, shrugging uncertainly. “I’m willing to give it a try if you are?”

An unsteady sound came out of Jon, his hand flew up to cover his mouth and when he pulled it away he was smiling. "I -- I'd like that. Very much," he said.

"Okay." Martin smiled back, feeling airy, lightheaded. "Cool." He laughed. "Getting shot together'll make a hell of a first date."

"Wh-- that was not a first date!" Jon protested, his own laugh coming out sharp and startled, "that was a -- a terrifying escape from our sinister employer."

"Kind of romantic though, right?" Martin teased, "in a bad action movie sort of way."

"Everything else aside, I refuse to entertain the idea that our first date involved Jonah Magnus in any respect," he shuddered, shaking his head. "Though it -- it honestly may be a while before I'm up for anything much better. I'll still be in the hospital a bit, and afterwards . . . well, I know there's a lot I'm going to have to adjust to."

Martin felt a twinge at Jon's voice, at the anxiety creeping back into it. ". . . You won't have to do it alone," he said.

Smiling weakly, Jon reached a hand over the hard plastic rail meant to keep patients from falling out of bed. Martin took it and squeezed. Jon nodded and let go, settling back.

"There's still so much . . ." he said. "So much you don't even know . . . about us, and about other things."

"You could tell me now, you know. If you wanted."

Jon paused, looking uncertain. "Are you sure you want to hear it? I don't know what you're expecting but it's not going to be some sort of --- pleasant office romance. It's just a series of horrible, traumatic experiences, one after another."

It was a fair question, really, and Martin thought about it before answering.

"I want to hear it," he said. "If you're okay talking about it, that is. I want to know what you've been living with all these months. And . . . I want to know more about that other life. Even if it's all just awful."

Slowly, Jon nodded. "All right . . ." he said, "but it really is a very long story. It's going to take a while."

"I don't have anything on today," Martin smiled, standing up. "I'll go and get us some tea."

#tma fanfic #tma #sdayl #man it's almost done wild

[surveys-at-your-service]

Surveys #417-419

Been slacking on posting these, so here’s like three surveys over the past few days divided up. I just don’t feel like posting them individually. Beware, it’s a long post, haha.

Do you believe that animals don’t have souls? I lean towards the idea that they, at least more complex species with actual sentience, do in some way. It's hard to imagine like, a fly having a soul, but it's a nice thought. You could NEVER convince me some don't, though, like my late dog Teddy, Sara's old chameleon Jem, and I could go on and on. Have you ever not been able to swallow pills? No, I've always been able to. If you HAD to change your first name, what would you change it to? Maybe like, Quinn. Something you don't hear a lot, for sure. Something more memorable. What are your thoughts on orange soda? Orange cream soda is BOMB. Man, been so long since I've had that stuff... Are you good with children and/or animals? Don't mean to brag, but people say I'm like a magician with animals. No matter what it is, I bond with it. Children, not so much. I'm awkward around them. Who in your life makes you smile the most? My cat, ha ha. If you were cremated, where would you want your ashes to be placed? Hm. Maybe high up in the mountains or in the Kalahari Desert. Do you plan on going to your high school’s reunion? No. I'm pretty sure I'd shatter from memories just entering the building. Would you want revenge on someone if they killed someone special to you? Or would you find it in your heart to forgive? "Forgive" my ass. They'd better get what's coming to them, even if I've gotta be the person to deliver it. Is there someone you are dying to see? More than I think anyone could possibly know. But it's probably better if I never do. Could you picture yourself getting married and having kids? Married, yes. Having kids, no. I could only picture that in one phase of my life, but like I called it: a phase. I should never be a mother, nor do I want to be one to begin with, so yeah, no kids for me. Do you like to take walks? If my legs were actually worth a shit, yes, I would, if it's in a nature-filled area. What are you listening to at this moment in time? "Thoughts & Prayers" by Motionless In White. Did you ever kiss someone with a tattoo? No. Could you say something good about the last person you kissed? She's very resilient. Why are you single? Because 1.) I'm a very unappealing example of an adult, 2.) I'm not exactly very attractive, and 3.) I'm basically a hermit, so I don't meet people. Do you get jealous if your boyfriend hugs another girl? Hypothetically, in almost any case, I wouldn't. My imaginary boyfriend can have female friends. But I'll admit if it was like, an ex-girlfriend or something and it was a seriously intense hug, I might. Is there something that happened in your past you hate talking about? Yes, but I mean, who doesn't. Have you ever been completely alone with a boy in his room? You make this sound so scandalous lmao. Yes, plenty of times. I dated a dude and briefly lived with him for three and a half years. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? No. Who was the last person that you cried in front of? I'm sure it was Mom. Is it hard for you to be “just friends” with the opposite sex? Nah. Do you remember every single person that you’ve kissed? Yeah. Do you believe that the world will actually end? Humanity, oh yeah. The planet itself, given the infinite nature of the universe, also yes. At SOME point, even if it's zillions of years down the line, Earth is gonna get fucked by something. Are you socially awkward? I am the literal avatar of "socially awkward." Would you rather watch a comedy movie or horror movie? Horror. Who is your favorite actor/actress? MARK IS A FUCKIN' ACTOR, Y'ALL. Are you satisfied with your gender? Yeah. Are you good at admitting your problems? HA! Yeah. ezpz Have you ever had a hangover? No, never been drunk to begin with. Do you know any strippers? No. How many times have you dyed your hair? I ain't counting. What is something that reminds you of your childhood? Dinosaurs. Do you think you eat healthy? I try to. I have my bad days, though. Are you sick quite often or hardly at all? My immune system is the fucking MVP. I am just about never, ever sick. Has anyone suspected you of being a different sexuality? Yes. Do you like chocolate or vanilla cake more? Chocolate, duh. Does it bother you to have blood drawn or not so much? Nah, no biggie. Has your cell phone ever rung in class? Omg no, I woulda been mortified. Have you ever tried opening your eyes under water? Yeah, as a kid. Would you rather have a cat or a dog? I prefer cats. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? Like... six times, I wanna say. What would you say is your favorite type of flower? Orchids, but I also love dahlias. I've actually noticed that I've really had a greater "thing" for flowers lately. Like don't get me wrong, I've always loved flowers very much, but I've just found myself more drawn to them than usual, especially when taking the daily hour ride to the TMS office. Do you watch Toddlers and Tiaras? FUCK no. That show disgusts and angers me so much. If someone asked you to go to war today, what would you say? Yeah, no. Funny joke. I couldn't go anyway due to mental health issues and a suicidal history. Do you own an old vintage typewriter? We used to when I was little. I have no idea what happened to it, though?? Hell, maybe we still have it somewhere, but I doubt that. Do you like or hate the smell of fish? Ew, does ANYONE like the smell of fish??? Have you ever read any of John Green’s books? I got a few pages into The Fault in Our Stars, but stopped for no real reason. I didn't not like it or anything, I was just still in my "I don't read" episode. Are you a protective person? VERY. I'm a fucking guard dog over those I love most. Are you a fan of penguins? Yeah, they're cute. I especially think emperor penguins are very majestic. Have you ever met your favorite author? I don’t have a favorite author. Did you get your mom or dad’s eyes? Neither's. I think my maternal grandpa had blue eyes, though? I'm not sure at all, though. When was the last time someone bought you flowers? Not sure. Has there ever been a murder in your town? "A" murder? Thems is rookie numbers for my neck of the woods, fella. This place is known for crime, and that includes murder. When falling asleep, do you ever feel like you stopped breathing? Well, I have seriously severe sleep apnea, so... but the diagnosis came as a surprise to me, because I never DID think this. But sure enough, did a sleep study, and in just one hour's time, I stopped breathing like what, 30 times? What's the last thing that scared the hell out of you? Stupid drivers. Do you have any life-changing plans within the next 6 months? I guess getting a job could be pretty life-changing. As of right now, how do you feel about your future? I'm very, very scared. Who is the last person you ran into unexpectedly? Hm, I dunno. Where does your grandma live? Both of mine are dead, but my paternal grandmother lived in Michigan, while my maternal one technically lived in Florida, but stayed in New York with her son's family a whole lot. I don't really know where she stayed more. Do you know how to read music? Not anymore. Does the song you’re currently listening to remind you of anyone special? Not so much the song, but the band. Motionless In White is one of his all-time favorites, so I can't listen to them without thinking of Jason. Sucks because they've been becoming one of MY favorites, too, so I listen to them a lot. If the person who has hurt you the most, said they were in love with you, would you believe them? I'd tell him he was in a love with a person who no longer exists. It's impossible for him to be in love with me now when he doesn't know how much I've changed. If Facebook made you pay would you still use it? Ha, no. Have you ever been recorded on film without your permission? Not that I know of? Tell me about your last boyfriend? He's a wonderful person. He's been there for me without fail since we became friends in high school band, and he is SO fucking funny. He's always cared a lot about me, and I care a lot about him, just not in the same way he does me. He's like my big brother. Are your parents racist? My dad definitely is. What is your least favorite subject in school? Math and economics both sucked. Have you ever been involved in a custody battle before? Almost certain no. I'm pretty sure Dad didn't fight for custody at all, but it could've been something Mom just never told me. Have you ever babysat a newborn baby before? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I NEVER could. Do you have any siblings you neglect? .-. As a kid, did you ever go to camp? I went to Vacation Bible School, if that counts. Did your parents ever let you play in the pits of those multicolored balls? Yeah, until that big news story about a dirty needle pricking a child. Have any of your siblings ever had a crush on your significant other? Not to my knowledge. I highly doubt it. What do you usually order at Taco Bell, if you go there? Cheese quesadilla with fiesta potatoes. Rarely a pair of those cinnamon ball thingies. Ever consider a sex change? Nah. Do you eat whip cream straight out of the can? EW no. I hate the texture of whipped cream. What do you think of popcorn? Loooove. Have you ever dated any of your friends’ ex? No. Well, it's funny, Rachel (both Juan's and Jason's ex) and I are friends now, but definitely weren't at the time of us being together. Have you ever gone out with someone even though one of your friends liked that person first? If yes, did you feel bad? If no, were you tempted to? No. Would you rather be a rich musician, or a rich actor? Musician. What was the last charity you donated to? I don't recall. Did you like to collect frogspawn as a kid? I've told the "my friends and I saved hundreds of tadpoles" story enough times, so for this question, I'll just talk about when I would go fishing with Dad as a kid. Back then, if I got bored of actually fishing, I would walk along the riverbank and try to catch tadpoles and minnows in my hands. It was soooo fun to Kid Brittany. Do you walk fast or slow? I walk pretty damn slow. Can you juggle with more than two items? I can't juggle, period. Do you like jalapenos? Yeah! Do you like kiwis? Yessss, I love kiwi! Does anyone in your family go deer or bird hunting? Who is it anyway? I don't know if she still does, but my little sister used to go deer hunting with a friend.

Are you saving up for anything right now? What? Yeah, my pet snake's 40 gallon terrarium. What sort of things do you have bookmarked in your internet browser? It's quite diverse, but I think I mostly have templates for specific character profiles. Have you ever snuck in to a theater/dance/bar etc? No, I'm a good noodle. If given the chance, would you go to Ireland? Certainly! It's beautiful there. If you have a cat, does it ever “converse” with you? Oh, ABSOLUTELY. When I talk to him, he sure does try to answer me and it's the cutest thing, ha ha. Have you ever tried those electric toothbrushes? Yeah, that’s what I use. Has anyone told you that they wanted to marry you/were planning on it/etc? Yeah, guess he changed his mind. Name one of your ex’s mother’s names? Virginia. Does your favorite song have a meaning? BIG TIME. Have you ever written or received a suicide note? I've written one. .-. What is the worst thing a child has ever done to you while you were babysitting? When I was changing her diaper, she got up and ran around naked in the house. ;-; Do you own a nightgown? No. If you could get any pet right now, what would you get? i. want. my. tarantula. Have you ever actually been stuffed into a locker? No. That is just such a TV trope that I've never even heard of happening irl. Do you/did you decorate the inside of your locker at school with stuff? I only had a locker in middle school, and I believe I didn't. I didn't want one in HS. What’s the coolest thing you’ve made with Legos? I was never a Legos kid; I played with Lincoln Logs. Do you want to get pregnant right now? Fuck no, man. Or ever. Have you ever housed a friend for a long period of time because they had no place to live? No. If you have a favorite comedian, have they ever been in a movie? I don't have one, really. Are there any books you want to read? Besides the series I'm reading, I want to read The Testaments by Margaret Atwood, but idk if I'll ever get to it, really. If you have younger siblings, are you very protective of them? We don't have a close relationship, but I am nevertheless. If you have older siblings, are they very protective of you? Not really, it seems. First letter of the names of everyone you have kissed? J, T, D, S. Do you like going to school sports games? No, I hated it. When Ash was a cheerleader, Mom made me go, and I was never happy about it. Have you ever worn your boyfriend’s clothes? An ex-boyfriend's, yeah. Did you get into your mom’s makeup when you were a kid? I don't think I did? Do you want anything pierced? Ugh, a lot of places. The last time you washed your hair, did you use conditioner? I never do. Has your partner ever accused you of cheating when you actually didn’t? I've never been accused of cheating. Has anyone ever called you stuck-up? No. I'm quite the opposite. Have you been diagnosed with any mental disorders? Too many, really. What are you doing this summer? Nada. Do you still watch MTV? I never did. Have you ever spent the night with the last person you kissed? Yes. What’s the dress code for your job? Do you like it? I'm unemployed. Does your job allow piercings or tattoos? ^, and this might sound stupid, but I wouldn't work at a job that didn't. Especially tattoos. No job is stopping me from doing things that improve my self-esteem and body image, particularly when I LOATHE my body. If a little bit of art makes me feel better about myself? Nobody is stopping me. What are some trends you dislike that everyone seems to love? "Crocs. Whyyyy?" <<<< THIS. First people hated them, now they love them??? They're hideous as shit. If you got married and then got divorced, would you want to re-marry? I don't really know. How often do you use lotion? Not NEARLY enough for someone with skin as dry as mine. Do you donate your old stuff to Goodwill? If so, what was the last thing you donated? Yeah. Mom recently brought some old toys, I think? How weight conscious are you? You have no fucking idea. Rent a movie or go see one in theaters? I prefer going to a theater. I enjoy the experience. What’s the biggest personality trait turn-off for a potential partner? Probably being an explosive/volatile person. I can't with that. Would you ever go on a birth control pill? I already am to regulate my period and tame the cramps. And if I was sexually active, I absolutely would want to be on it. What's your favorite late night tv show? I don’t have one. At high school do or did you participate in Spirit Week? No. Do you have a favorite vocalist? Who? Queen's Freddie Mercury will probably always top the list. If you have a favorite photographer, can you describe their work? I don't have a favorite photographer. Surprisingly. Are sex and sexual activities something you enjoy? If it's with someone I'm in love with and am in the mood, sure. What is one aspect of your life that did not turn out as you expected? I did NOT expect to reach 25 like... *gestures at self* this. What is one thing stopping you from becoming a veterinarian? I could never handle euthanizing pets and watching the families' hearts break. How long have you lived in the house you live in? Not even a year. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder? I'm definitely sadder. Especially today. Do you like Subway? I do. Have you ever seen a volcano? No. Have you ever found a spider on your bed? Yes. It's the scariest shit when one skitters across your blanket, because like, you LEAST expect it to happen in the comfort of your own bed. Are you satisfied with the way your life is right now? Not even remotely, if I'm being honest. I'm at a real low. When was the last time you ate at Burger King? Years ago, when I was a vegetarian and went there for the veggie burger. How often do you cry? lol a lot Ever had a crush on a teacher? No. Can you wire a plug? ... I don't even know what you mean by "wire a plug," so obviously no lmfao. Where were you when you got your first period? Well I think I actually *started* at school, but I noticed when I got home. Can you drive? I mean I'm capable, but I'm an incredibly anxious, overly passive, and just generally terrified driver. I'm so scared of when I finally get new glasses and therefore a new permit... but I have to get used to driving. Living where I do, public transportation is very, very limited, and I just can't have people driving me places the rest of my life. Exercise or healthy eating? I sadly hate exercising SO much. I'd rather eat healthy. Did you play Red Rover when you were a child? Yeah. Are you more attracted to men or women? This can actually vary with time, which I originally thought was weird but is apparently normal for some bisexual individuals. There are spans where I feel more sexual attraction to men, and then other times women. Has anyone ever called you rich? God no, I am so far from it. What makes you feel beautiful? Nothing. Are you considered a very sensitive person? I'm way too sensitive for my own good. Have you ever told someone you never wanted to speak to them again? Yes, my dad. I regret that letter I sent him so, so much. I honestly don't know how he can treat me with so much love after the shit I said. If you could watch any TV series right now, what would it be? I am... astonishingly behind on Meerkat Manor: Rise of the Dynasty. I know, seriously incredible. I just don't watch TV, man. It's strange, I'm into the show, of course I am, I just... don't like sitting myself in front of a television and purely watching it. I'll catch up, though. Do you grind your teeth, and if so, why do you do it? No. But it's not like people have a reason they grind their teeth... they just do. Do you feel the need to rant about anything right now? If so, go for it. I could, but I'm not going to. It'll just upset me. Do you have a friend named Nick? What’s his favourite food? My sister's husband's name is Nick, but he is definitely not my friend. I can't stand his bigoted, sexist, misogynistic, homophobic, racist ass. I don't know or care what his favorite food is. What are you listening to? I'm re-watching Gab and Sinow play Resident Evil 5. People can say all they want about RE5, but I love it. Do you prefer waffles or pancakes? Waffles, but only if they're still soft enough to not be considered crunchy. I prefer them because I can put peanut butter on them, and the grooves catch the syrup instead of just absorbing it all like pancakes. Do you prefer non-diet or diet soda? I don't/can't drink diet sodas because the artificial sweetener gives me a KILLER headache. Are you craving anything right now? You guys have no idea how badly I want Taco Bell for whatever reason. Which word did you say first, mama or dada? The latter. What was your first pet’s name? So, there's three answers to this. I was born into the family while we had a collie named Trigger, but I have absolutely zero memory of her. She passed when I was too young. Our first family pet that I clearly remember was Chance, our rescued cat. My first *personal* pet was either a guinea pig named Squeak or Chinese water dragon named Shadow. I can't remember who came first. Who was your best friend in elementary? It changed with the years, but I can say the three biggies were Brianna, Kim, and Quiata. Who was your favorite teacher in high school? Probably Coach Collie. He was so wise, kind, funny... He was all-around just wonderful and taught so many life lessons. When you go to a restaurant, do you have a go-to dish? Always. What is the best part of your most ordinary day? Waking up and doing my first sweep of the Internet before I get bored outta my fucking senses. Do you read any web comics? No.

Do you drink bottled water? Yeah, but like any water, it has to be COLD. Not room temperature. Not a tad chilly. I mean cooooold. When did you last use a straw? Earlier. I have a metal straw I use to drink water with because I drink faster through a straw, and with it being water, of course I want to try to drink as much as I can when I actually choose to drink water. Have you ever tackled someone to the ground? No. Do you know anyone who lies to make themselves look more interesting? My former best friend did that. She was an online friend, so it made it easy. I finally caught on and called her out on it, and then she just totally dipped. Do you like to sing? Not that much, honestly. Like sometimes I feel like it, sure, but not frequently. Are your parents in good health? No, not really. Have you ever been a caregiver to a sick/disabled relative? No. I feel bad saying it, but I know I never could be. I could NOT clean another human being. It's one of the bajillion reasons I'm not having kids. Do you like to take naps during the day? "Like" isn't the right word. I just... need to. Most days, there is NO way I can make it 'til night without one. What movie was your favorite to see in the movie theater? Even though it was sincerely a sucky movie, I really enjoyed watching Silent Hill: Revelation because I saw the 3D version, plus the hype over my favorite franchise getting a new movie was just very exciting. Favorite Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle character? I was never into that. Ever watched The Blair Witch Project? Yes, and I positively adore it. I genuinely think it's a genius horror movie, never showing, but telling through other methods. Have a favorite AC/DC song? Probably "You Shook Me All Night Long." Are you good at selling candy for those fundraiser things? Omg nooooo I HATED doing that shit, especially when some amount of sales were like, required for whatever bullshit reason. I hate hate hate advertising to people. My parents always bought them instead. Have you ever had a crush on someone too old for you? No. Well, besides James Hetfield, ha ha. What's your favorite Dr. Suess quote? I don't know enough quotes to have one. If you were to have wings, what would you want them to look like? Dark and dragon-esque with lots of rips and tears in them... but not enough to stop me from flying, ha ha. Have you ever broken up with someone to find you want them back later? No. Has anyone ever dared you to eat a chili pepper? Did you do it? No. Have you ever tried Thai food? No. Have you ever watched Avatar? The TV show, not the movie. I've seen I think one season with Sara so far? I actually quite enjoy it. What's your cellphone's signature for text? WOW this survey is ancient. If you smoke marijuana, what is your preferred or typical method? I don't smoke it. Do you often take painkillers? I dunno about "often," but headaches to the point I take something aren't rare for me. Do you wish you were in a relationship? I mean yes, but I know it's for the better I'm not. Have you ever been to the ER? Many times. Do you ever feel guilty eating meat? I feel extremely guilty. I try not to think about it. Where have you lived for the most part of your life? Eastern NC. How old are you? 25. What are you listening to at the moment? Powerwolf came out with a new album, so I've been bingeing the shit out of some songs, ha ha. Right now it's "Blood For Blood." Do you watch WWE Raw? Ew, no. I have NEVER gotten the appeal of wrestling. Just like... why????? Do you dye your hair? Nowhere near regularly. :/ I haven't had it dyed in a very long time, and I hate it. I love colored hair. We just can't afford that expense on something so little. My hair does NOT take dye easily, so we have to have a professional do it, and that isn't exactly cheap. Have you ever lived in a different country that the one you’re living in? No. Which of your parents will you see next? I live with my mother, so. Have you fallen asleep in school? Not in class, no. In college when I would be in the library between classes, though, I've dozed before. Have you ever been hospitalized? Yes, but not for physical issues. Do you make fun of obese people? You're talking to someone who is. So obviously no, and you're a piece of fucking shit if you do. Do you have an innie or an outtie? Innie. Have you ever tried to headbang? No. Even as a metalhead, I don't get it, man. You're asking for a headache. Do you own any Converse? What do you think of them? I have a few and like them. Have you ever started a rumor? No. Have you ever been in a position of authority? I mean, I'm an admin on two sites, so I guess? Were your ancestors royalty? Yeah, I'm related to one of the Queen Victorias, I believe. I just know she had a thing for beheading people, ha ha. What do you like on your pasta/noodles? Sauce, butter, grated cheese, etc.? Just tomato sauce and meatballs, really. Who is the most ungrateful person you know? What makes them this way? My fucking ex-best friend. You could never, ever give her enough and she just... blegh. She was so fucking ungrateful for everything people did for her. It was just never enough. Do you like cherry Pepsi? I like cherry Coke. I don't like Pepsi. Have you ever held an uncommon pet before (ex: mouse, spider, snake, lizard)? I've held snakes, rats, lizards, and a tarantula. Who did you last play truth or dare with? No clue. Have you ever camped out somewhere for an event the next day? No. When were you the saddest in your life? 2016. Do you know anyone, personally, who is in an abusive relationship? Are you? No. If you have siblings, have they moved out or do they still live with you? Yeah, they've moved out. What was the most unique pet you’ve owned? I'd probably say my champagne ball python. A lot of people don't even know ball python morphs exist, so seeing her might surprise some people. Do you like Doritos? Yeah. When you buy clothes, do you always try them on first? No, but I need to learn how to... I just HATE doing it. Have you used bugspray recently? No. Do you enjoy swimming in the ocean? Yesssss. Have you ever tried to sew or knit anything? No. Has something ever happened to you that seemed like it was from a movie? Most of Jason's and my relationship felt like one. Hence why the breakup felt so sudden and just impossible. Do you find yourself to be a believer in love at first sight? Not even remotely. Is there something you want to do, that you swear you will, no matter what? Spread Teddy's ashes in Yellowstone. I promised him. Are you longing for the day that you’ll be an adult? (If you’re not already) I am an adult, and it sucks. What’s something you’ve vowed to never eat? Any meat that was hunted. Have you ever owned a diary/journal with a lock and key? I don't believe so. When you were little, what movie did you watch over and over? Mostly Disney films, like The Lion King and Finding Nemo. Are you deathly allergic to anything? No. Do you know what you want for your dream house? Nope. I honestly don't really care about having a "dream" house to begin with. I just need one that's cozy to me and gets the job done. Have you ever seen the movie The Notebook? Many, many times. It's my favorite romance movie. Have you ever used the photo editing site “Picnik”? No, not to my memory. Has an animal ever taken a strong dislike to you? Our old dog Bentley didn't like me all that much, and I didn't like him, either. Have you ever attempted to cut your own hair? No. Do you have a lucky or special coin? No. Do you love ice cream cake more than normal cake? No. Do you check your email daily? No. Is there anyone you know who’s in any way paralyzed? No. For you, do you commonly feel more jealousy or envy? Envy. Do you rely on the heads/tails flipping of a coin sometimes for decisions? No. Has a laptop ever burned your legs? Yes, actually. For a while many years ago, my old laptop left subtle burn marks on my legs. Anyone’s birthday coming up soon? My nephew's is next month. Do you like Laffy Taffy? I doooo. Are your biceps at all noticeable? Ha, no. Have you ever seen a walrus? Maybe when I went to SeaWorld as a kid? Did you ever have one of those easy bake ovens as a kid? Yup. If given the opportunity, would you ride on a camel? Sure. What flavor cake do you like for your birthday? Red velvet. Have you ever had a job you loved? Nope. Have you ever been in a building that was on fire? Yikes, no. Have you ever written a poem for someone? Two people. Have you been best friends with someone of a different race? Yes. Who is the person you are closest to that you’ve met online? Sara. What was the name of the first porcelain doll you got? I was very afraid of dolls as a kid, so I obviously didn't have one. Do you sell any products? If so, what? I mean, I'm a wannabe photographer that sells my service. Owls or peacocks? Owls. Lions or horses? Lions. Can you still fit into kid’s clothes? Hell no. What devotional do you read, if any? None. What do you make wishes on? I only ever do for the tradition of it on my birthday. I don't believe in the magic of wishes, though. Have you ever made a recipe you found in a magazine? No. Are you bitter about anything? Probably always will be. Have you ever been in a love triangle? No. How bad are your hangovers? Never had one. Have you ever broken a bone? If so, what was the cause of it? Yes. It was identified as a fracture, but a break and a fracture are technically like the same thing, so. At a skating rink, I fell and landed on my hand so the top of it nearly touched my arm, so my wrist got FUCKED. I will never, ever forget the severity of the pins and needles feeling and just the experience in general. It hurt so goddamn bad. Is this the best year of your life? Fuck no.

#in other words i don't feel like thinking up song lyrics for three surveys at once lmao #survey #surveys #random questions

[haberdashing]

Open Up My Eager Eyes

TMA fic set just after MAG 168. Jon and Martin have an important talk about what once was and what might have been.

on AO3

They didn’t speak much right after Jon returned, but the tension in the air was palpable as they made their way forwards, the only sounds that of their footsteps crunching against what passed for ground here and the whispers of the dying.

Eventually, Jon couldn’t stand it anymore, so he stopped walking, turning towards Martin as he said, “Can we... let’s talk.”

“About what?” Martin’s tone was a little sharp, but he stood still as well, looking Jon in the eye as he did so.

“You know, the whole jealousy thing.”

Martin’s face tensed up, and he made a show of breaking eye contact with Jon as he said, “I think we’ve talked quite enough about that already, thanks.”

“No, not... look, we already discussed how you’re jealous of Oliver Banks for, for some reason, and how I’m not going to kill a man just because you’re jealous of him-”

Martin scrunched up his nose in a way that would be patently adorable if he wasn’t currently trying to convince Jon to murder someone. “He’s not really a man anymore, though, is he? I mean, that’s kind of the point.”

“Martin, if just being an avatar of a fear god during, well, this, is enough for somebody to deserve getting killed in your mind... I’d like you to think a bit about what that implies about me.”

Martin blinked a few times and furrowed his brow, thinking for a few seconds in silence before letting out a long, solemn breath. “Alright, yeah, point taken.”

“Besides, if you just let me explain what actually happened, maybe you’ll understand that there’s really no reason for you to be jealous of...” Jon tried to hold back the laughter in his voice, but a bit of it sneaked through just the same as he finished, “...of Oliver Banks, of all people.”

“I mean, you did wake up for him and not for me, though. That’s just a fact.”

“It wasn’t... it wasn’t for him, is the thing. Because of him, maybe, but not for him.”

“Fine, because of him, then. But he- he still did something for you there, then. Something I clearly couldn’t.”

Jon threw his hands in the air. “Yes, because he was an avatar of death! Look, if you’re really that desperate to throw away your humanity, feel free to give Annabelle Cane a ring, I’m sure she’d be glad to hook you up-”

“Jon...”

“I... It was a joke. I was joking.” That wasn’t entirely accurate, truth be told--Jon kept wondering if that was Annabelle Cane’s endgame in all of this, recruiting Martin to her side--but that was a very different conversation to be had than the current one, and not one Jon terribly felt like delving into at the moment.

“Sure.” Martin sounded less than convinced.

“It’s not like I- I cared more about Oliver Banks than you, or anything like that, if that’s what you’re thinking! He just... let me know what I needed to do to wake up. Gave me information I had been lacking.”

“I thought you knew everything!”

“Now, maybe. And there’s still a few limits even now. But back then it... it wasn’t quite that simple.”

“So, what was this information he had and you didn’t?”

“He explained that, that what had happened... it left me trapped somewhere in between life and death-”

“You couldn’t have figured that much out for yourself?”

“Let me finish! At the time, I was... how did he phrase it... not human enough to die, but still too human to live. And I had to make a choice. Either I could pick my human side and just- just die, or I could give up on being human and wake up as a full-fledged avatar of the Beholding.”

“And you chose the latter?”

“I’m still here, aren’t I?” Jon let out a sharp bark of a laugh, looking around at the desolate, nightmarish landscape surrounding them before adding, “Knowing what I do know... I don’t think I made the right choice there.”

“Don’t say that!” Jon hadn’t been expecting the desperation in Martin’s voice, hadn’t been expecting him to reach out and clutch Jon’s arm as if he were going to fade away at any moment. “Don’t... don’t you dare say you want to die, alright?”

Martin looked like he was on the verge of tears, suddenly, and Jon pressed one hand against his cheek, ready to brush away any teardrops that might fall. “I mean, I don’t want to die now, I’m not suicidal. At this point, the damage has already been done. Dying now wouldn’t do anyone much good.”

Martin released his grip on Jon’s arm, but that sad, desperate look in his eyes remained all too present. “But you still think the world would be better off if you had died back then.”

“I mean...” Jon used his free hand to gesture towards the hellscape that surrounded them. “If I had, none of this would have happened. And the rest of the Archives staff would be free to leave, to escape from this mess. You would be free, Martin. Free to live your life without having to worry about any of this.”

“But without you.”

“Without me, and without being tied to an eldritch fear god, and without the apocalypse unfolding in front of you. That seems like more than a fair trade-off.”

Martin laughed, but it was a laugh more of sorrow than of levity, and Jon felt a single teardrop fall onto his finger. “After all this time, you still don’t get it, do you?”

“Get what?”

“None of that matters to me if you’re not there. The only reason my working with Peter Lukas became more than just- just a death wish was because you woke up, because I could see a life for myself outside of the Lonely with you. Maybe it’s selfish--no, strike that, I know it’s selfish--but I’d rather be beside you here and now than in a world where none of this happened, but you’re not there to share it with me.”

“...thank you, Martin.” Jon broke into a shaky smile. “But even if you’re fine with how things worked out, the others-”

“-are better off with you here too.”

Jon let the hand that had been pressed against Martin’s face fall to his side, tried not to focus on how it was now shaking due to some emotion he couldn’t quite name. “I don’t see how that works.”

“Alright, let’s go through this one by one. If you hadn’t woken up, Melanie would still have a- a ghost bullet from the Slaughter stuck in her leg, right?”

“That she wanted in there!”

Martin rolled his eyes. “Right, because that’s healthy. Look, I’m not saying the way you went about things was the perfect solution, but I do think it beats doing nothing and just letting her become an avatar of unthinking violence. And if you’d died, she’d have had to find another target for all that rage...”

“...fine, let’s say for the sake of argument Melanie’s better off. There’s Basira, too.”

“Basira...” Martin bit his lip for a moment the way he often did when he was deep in thought. “I’m not sure what she would have done if you had died, honestly, but I do know she wouldn’t have gotten Daisy back without you. You’re the reason she knew Daisy was in the Buried, and you’re definitely the reason Daisy got out of there.”

“Because I jumped into a coffin where the whole idea is that once you go in, you can never come out.”

“Again, not claiming it was a great plan or anything, but it did work. You saved Basira from not knowing what really happened, from mourning a woman who was still alive. And you saved Daisy from being stuck in the Buried literally forever.”

“And now she’s succumbed to the Hunt. I can’t imagine that’s much better.”

“You were down there with her. You tell me.”

Jon’s silence as he considered this was as much of a response as any words could have been.

“Basira might have stayed, too. It’s not like she had anything left outside the Archives, after all. And if she did? Maybe I would have actually gone along with Peter’s plan and killed Elias-” Jon gave Martin a look, and Martin corrected himself. “Killed Jonah Magnus, and then she would have died. Along with everybody else who works for the Institute. Rosie from the front desk, who always greets everyone with a smile? Dead. Sonja from Artefact Storage, who actually seems to accept all of this weirdness? Dead. Hannah’s children would lose their mother. Hundreds of families would be torn apart.”

“That’s still a lot less pain and suffering than I caused by reading that damn statement. You can’t claim the world wouldn’t be better off if I hadn’t done that.”

“Okay, no, I’m not gonna come out pro-apocalypse here or anything, but... think about it. Jonah Magnus was planning all of this for two hundred years. You really think he would have given up if you died?”

Jon hadn’t thought of that, and his vision blurred as he considered the implications there.

“He would’ve found another Archivist, he would’ve made them go through hell instead, and we’d end up back here soon enough. The only way he would’ve stopped is if I killed him, a-and then Peter’d have the Panopticon for whatever the hell he really wanted it for, and maybe it’s not the same, but you can’t tell me a world under Peter Lukas’ control would really be that much better.”

“...I suppose not, no.” Jon cleared his throat as he prepared to change the subject as smoothly as he could manage. “So. Oliver Banks did what he had to do, as did I, whatever the consequences. And I’m pretty sure either option of his choice would be better than being eternally stuck watching other people’s nightmares. You’ve seen for yourself that those can be... rough on me, and that’s after just one night.”

“That’s what it was like? Just- just six months of nonstop nightmares?”

And suddenly Martin’s arms were wrapped around Jon’s body, Martin tucking his head against Jon’s shoulder, and he could feel tears dampening his jumper. Jon did his best to reciprocate, to reach out to Martin in turn, and tears of his own began to fall as well.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that, Jon.”

“It’s fine-”

Martin looked up at Jon with a fiery gaze. “It’s not fine.”

“Well, it’s fine now. And- and maybe now you can see why I’m grateful to Oliver Banks for letting me know that I had options besides being stuck like that forever.”

“...yeah, I guess so. Though I still wish I could have been the one to help you.”

“I know you did everything you could.” Jon’s lips turned into a wry smile as he added, “I heard you, you know. The only other things I heard were statements--Oliver’s and Jonah’s, and please don’t tell me you’re going to be jealous of Jonah Magnus now-”

“Nah, I think we’ve got better reasons for killing him than that.”

“Quite.” Jon snorted. “But I heard you, at one point, too. Not a statement, of course. Just... you, talking to me. Begging me to come back. And I wanted to, I really did. But at that point, I didn’t know how.”

“...I didn’t know you heard any of that.”

“Well, we never really talked about it before. Understandably so; it’s not exactly the most pleasant of conversation topics.”

Jon leaned over, tilting his head just so before planting a kiss on Martin’s damp cheek.

“I’ve also never done that to Oliver Banks, so hopefully that will help you get over that jealousy of yours.”

Martin’s eyes were sparkling as he looked up at Jon, and only partially due to the half-formed tears still lingering in his eyes. “Hmm... I don’t know. Might need to give it a few more tries just to be sure.”

Jon raised an eyebrow as he broke into a wide grin, though he tried to keep his voice calm and level and faux-academic. “Ah, a firm believer in the scientific method. I can certainly respect that.”

And Jon kissed Martin again, and again, and again, until the kissing dissolved into a mutual fit of giggles and both their tears were well and truly gone.

#tma #tma spoilers #the magnus archives #the magnus archives spoilers #tma s5 #tma s5 spoilers #mag 168 #tma 168 #tma fic #tma fanfic #the magnus archives fic #the magnus archives fanfic #personal #my writing

[eternalgirlscout]

a while back @lesbians4sokka (i think? sorry for @ing you if i’m thinking of a different blog) asked me to share my thoughts about The Rise of Kyoshi, and seeing as i just finished the book last night (because i am a monster who gets most of the way through a book and thinks “if i keep reading it’ll be over i can’t have that”) i’m finally doing it now!

this got long as hell OOPS

spoilers under the cut

I want to talk about vengeance and justice in this novel.

back when I was only maybe a third of the way through it, i said on twitter that i was excited to see an avatar with an “opposite moral trajectory” to aang; in AtLA, aang has to learn to value justice over conflict avoidance, whereas RoK’s kyoshi has to prioritize justice over revenge. they come to similar conclusions from wildly different starting points. now that i’ve finished the book, i can’t decide how much i stand by that assessment. it feels reductive--which is a testament to the strength of F.C. Yee’s storytelling. while yes, aang and kyoshi both learn a great deal about justice, they act justly in very different ways.

aang, for reasons i like and appreciate from storytelling, ethical, and characterization perspectives (if you haven’t read my The Lion Turtle Is Good, Actually manifesto, you are legally obligated to do so now) has a strict rule about how he enacts justice that aligns with his beliefs and duties to the legacy of the air nomads. rather than killing people who abuse power to oppress others, he takes away the mechanism by which they accomplish violence--namely, their bending. in LoK we see that he continues to use this ability as an alternative to taking a life for at least most of his career as the avatar when he takes yakone’s bending.

kyoshi, on the other hand, has a very different philosophical development and ultimate approach to justice. her last conversation with lao ge summarizes the conflict between the mode of justice that works for aang (though obviously AtLA takes place chronologically after RoK, the novel is well aware that the reader has almost certainly seen the series first and takes ideas and details from it to flesh out the world, which i think is another strength of Yee’s) and the mode of justice she creates for herself.

“I feel... inconsistent. Unfair. Like I should have either killed them both or let them both live.”

...

“If you had a strict rule, maybe, to always show mercy or always punish, you could use it as a shield to protect your spirit. But that would be distancing yourself from your duty. Determining the fates of others on a case-by-case basis, considering the infinite combinations of circumstance, will wear on you like rain on the mountain... You will never be perfectly fair, and you will never be truly correct,” Lao Ge said. “This is your burden.” (405)

the stark difference between aang’s philosophical background and kyoshi’s leads them to very different outcomes with regard to their choices as the avatar. yes, aang makes decisions on a case-by-case basis as well, but he is not interested in retribution as much as restoration and has a line he will not cross. i could argue that kyoshi sees the two (retribution, restoration) as inextricable in the pursuit of justice.

but what about vengeance?

kyoshi’s hatred of her parents wears away over the course of the novel, but her need to enact revenge on jianzhu only becomes more urgent. she is not universally vengeful, but she does not let go of revenge as a goal until she has it... sort of.

speaking of which, i fucking screamed when yun showed up again. i had a feeling we hadn’t seen the last of him, but the timing of his appearance and the change in him hit me like a lightning bolt. sorry, i have to gush for a second about how interested i am in what’s up with him. i am a sucker for a literal dead boy walking, for someone who has been turned into something Other by forces outside their control, and no matter what kyoshi ends up having to do to deal with him, i know i’m going to go feral for it. this is a Yun Stan Account until further notice.

anyway. it’s fascinating that kyoshi doesn’t actually get her revenge per se. yun does. he avenges himself, and it (likely) only causes more problems for kyoshi. and i think the distinction between vengeance and justice is quite wonderfully articulated afterwards:

How could such a container [as Jianzhu’s body] have held the volume of her anguish, her wrath? If any feeling at all pressed through the numbness... it was the ire of a hoodwinked child who’d been promised the end of her bedtime story only to see the candle-lights snuffed and the door slam shut. She was a girl alone in the dark. (430)

she gets the outcome she wanted: jianzhu dead. but her path to him “simply ended.” she has pragmatic advantages now that he’s out of the way--freedom, for one thing, and rangi’s safety, but those weren’t the things that drove her to want her revenge. there is a hollowness to it, a lack of catharsis. revenge is about the self, not the other.

and selfhood is something else kyoshi gives up.

one of the most striking lines in this novel appears when she walks into the tea house to meet jianzhu. at this point, kyoshi has assembled a motley outfit of expensive armor, theater costume pieces, battle accessories, outlaw facepaint, and bending aids for the heretical air nomad. she looks fucking weird. she’s like a video game PC wearing all the highest-stat armor she could loot from random dungeons and none of it matches. literally an assemblage of the places she’s been and the people who have helped her.

This was who she was now. This was her skin. This was her face. (418)

as the avatar, kyoshi has to be a symbol more than a person, even though she is fundamentally a human being as fallible as anyone else. the people who hear of her defeat of xu think she’s a spirit or a dragon in human disguise--regardless of what kyoshi wants and who she is, the world expects her to be something More. so, she gets dressed up and gives them what they need to see.

watching that transformation over the course of one novel is incredible. the path from the girl she is at the start of the novel to the woman we see advise aang that only justice will bring peace is far from over, but the trajectory is more than established. i’m really excited to see what Yee brings to another novel. kyoshi is just getting started.

some other miscellaneous thoughts:

i loved the choice to have a YA writer write this novel. not just for the obvious reason that Avatar is a franchise primarily for kids and teens, but because a lot of the common stylistic elements in YA fiction serve this story incredibly well. (by no means are any of these universal, of course; YA is a broad category of literature with huge stylistic and generic diversity, but in general it has these strengths.) the third person limited pov that switches between various characters gives a vital breadth to the story. there are a lot of moving pieces, and being able to see most of them in real time cuts back on exposition and heightens tension when you can watch their collision course. the focus on the given pov character’s interiority is put to incredible use, especially on the occasions when kyoshi enters the avatar state--and when it’s revealed that jianzhu hides things from even the reader, it becomes all the more staggering what a cunning bastard he is (jianzhu hate blog right here). kyoshi’s blushy crush on yun and even blushier crush on rangi are so good and are woven naturally into the story (bi fuckin rights babey!). that’s a teen with a big heart right there. also, fun swerve to the love triangle trope to get one of the love interests eaten by a spirit a few chapters in! his mind...

the part where kyoshi runs through a stone wall and leaves a kyoshi-shaped hole had me rolling, not just because i was impressed by how well that visual gag worked in prose but also because i can’t believe neither (to my memory) AtLA nor LoK pulled that.

HIDDEN PASSAGE... HIDDEN PASSAGE... THROUGH THE MOUNTAINS...

again i say: bi fucking RIGHTS

and i guess that’s all. stay tuned for the masterpost of Rise of Kyoshi memes i made as i read the book because i have a whole folder of them

#rise of kyoshi #Avatar!verse #meta #more or less. mostly just rambling #do not expect formal coherency from this i just got excited #liked the ending a lot! liked the characters! liked it as a piece of avatar lore!

[moviegroovies]

so i know i’m breaking like, this unspoken vow of silence re: the movie by making this post but this IS a movie blog and i did watch the last airbender. and can i just say. holy fucking shit.

y’all know i like a lot of bad movies. knowing that, take me seriously when i say: this is a BAD movie. and not in a good way. i went into it with no expectations except morbid curiosity and i was STILL let down. i wanted to hate watch it, and yeah, i hated watching it, but it wasn’t even fun to hate. i just hated it. 

don’t watch the last airbender.

if you’re like me and you just wanted to know exactly how bad it was, please benefit from my mistakes. read my fun funky rant and then never think of that movie again. put it out of your mind. rewatch boiling rock. love yourself.

anyway.

pretty much the one and only thing i knew about why it was bad going in was that it was whitewashed; that’s like the only thing anyone ever mentions in conjecture with this movie, when they mention it at all. knowing this, going in knowing full well that the casting department did crimes against humanity, i was still shocked and disturbed at the sight of white katara and white sokka. literally... that casting choice was a hate crime. look them up (or check out my last post) if you need to see it for yourself... it’s bad y’all. somehow i had braced myself for white aang, but before i saw it with my own two eyes i couldn’t believe that they would actually whitewash katara and sokka, And Yet. the really stupid thing is that it’s not even “””justified””” IN UNIVERSE; most of the members of the southern water tribe are played by asian actors, meaning that they didn’t even pull a pan and make the WHOLE southern water tribe white, they just made sokka and katara mysteriously “special” in a spectacularly poor judgement call.

actually, that’s another thing. outside the northern water tribe (which is also mostly white... i’m wondering if sokka and katara are white because gran gran--a white woman in the movie--is from the north? anyway it’s a moot point either way because none of them should be white, there are NO WHITE CHARACTERS IN THE SHOW AVATAR, jesus FUCKING christ), most of the extras and background characters are played by actors of color, particularly asian actors, which would be accurate to the show’s canon. maybe m night shyamalan or someone else involved in the making of this shitshow of a movie thought that this would somehow absolve the whitewashing of the main characters, but in reality i’d argue that it makes it even worse; by having characters mostly played by people of color continuously being saved by three little white bitches, the movie goes HARD on the white savior trope, and also just generally uses these actual, living people as exploitative, orientalist set dressing for this 1 hour and 43 minutes of special hell.

with one notable exception: prince zuko is played by an actor of color--specifially, dev patel. (who is himself miscast, considering how zuko and the fire nation are japanese-coded, but the second they opened on that veruca salt looking ass bitch calling herself katara any hope that the makers of this movie gave any consideration to the racial coding avatar introduced went right out the window.) which adds Another layer of racism to this already inconceivably bad fuckup of a movie; how strange, that the movie’s racebending made all three heroes white, but the primary antagonist (as well as the secondary antagonist, zhao, and the mostly-off-screen-but-still-present ozai) is a man of color. what an odd coincidence. hmmmm.

i hate this movie. i do want to note, though, that dev patel’s inclusion was the only thing that actually got me through the whole thing; i have no idea why he was in this film (he’s FAR too talented for the content he was given and no one else in the entire cast went even one sixteenth as hard as he did) but he was its one saving grace. still, though, even he couldn’t save it. he was so cute and he did his damn best with probably the worst script in the history of film... but he was still in THIS film. since the release of this movie, patel has spoken out against his role in it and the world of hollywood blockbusters in general, and to that i say... good for him. 

i was going for zuko though. this time it was like YES baby CAPTURE that avatar. full stop.

so yes, it was horribly miscast, whitewashed to hell and back, and went with a racist white hero/villains of color cast as a backdrop. all of these things, in themselves, are enough to completely condemn the movie, and my work here might as well be done... except to end it there would be to leave one million other glaring flaws unexamined. and i refuse to let any rock be unturned.

because, like, it’s NOT just bad because of the whitewashing. the whitewashing and the other racist elements are huge PARTS of why this is a bad movie, but even if this movie was made with an accurate and un-whitewashed cast, it would STILL be a bad movie, and i need you all to know this. 

starting from the top: they ruined katara and sokka. 

well, they ruined them the second they cast them the way they did. but again, let’s say they cast someone else. let’s say they cast appropriate actors for the rolls, but the level of acting skill and the script they used was the same. even in this case, they would have RUINED katara and sokka. none of the characters in this movie are 100% recognizable (and i’ll keep repeating it: the casting DID NOT HELP), but katara and sokka got hit the hardest and the worst. the things that sokka should have brought to the table (his goofy attitude, his intelligence) were erased, and the “sokka” we were given instead was a jerkass buzzkill who might have occasionally been the butt of a joke, but was never actually intended to be funny in his own right. reflecting on the series, it’s kind of as if we got his characterization from the first episode (before sokka got any development and was, i guess, kind of a jerkass buzzkill) and never strayed from that, which would be bad enough, but i think even episode ONE sokka was more fun and dynamic than White Sokka™. mistakes were made.

but it was even WORSE for katara. katara’s righteous anger was all but erased. SOKKA was the one who broke the avatar out of the ice, and only because they accidentally happened upon him--katara didn’t get to be angry at sokka’s jerkass sexism and unconsciously fuck up an entire iceberg. katara NEVER got to be angry. in fact, most of katara’s moments were taken and distributed between aang and sokka; aang, for instance is the one who inspires the earthbenders to break out of prison. we don’t even see katara train with master pakku, and SHE was the one who actually became a waterbending master when they went to the north pole. in this movie, katara mostly existed to talk about ~hope~ (very ember island players, lmfao) and hug aang when he went into the avatar state. 

by the way, that prison? it’s not the metal platform in the middle of the ocean we got in the show. it’s just... an enclosed village. surrounded by dirt and earth. and the earthbenders never tried to break out until aang came along and told them to? hmmmm.... 

Unfortunate Implications™, but what did you expect. 

other than that, idk. the writing was so fucking bad, y’all. a significant chunk of the plot relies on the “as you know” trope, in which characters have an expository discussion about something everyone present should already be aware of and wouldn’t need to get into. this normally wouldn’t bother me THAT much, if i noticed it at all (exposition is essential, after all, and you only have so much time in a movie, so i guess it makes sense when you’re trying to compress an entire season of a show into one), except like... it’s ridiculous. i couldn’t ignore it, they just hit the hammer so hard. “as you know, this is what the avatar is. as you know, zuko was exiled after fighting an agni kai with his father. as you know...” 

bleh.

after that, i guess all my complaints are a little more pedantic. some smaller things that made the movie unwatchable: the bending motions were super weird and i think sped up? there were perfectly good martial arts moves right there waiting for them, and shyamalan fucked even THAT up in an effort to... what? make it look more “mystical?” bitch i’ll kill you. also, for reasons completely unfathomable to me, some of the names were pronounced oddly despite being said one million times in the show. “aah-ng” “ee-roh” “soh-ka” “ahvatar.” literally... why.

i’ve been thinking “soh-ka” in my head for like two weeks. hideous.

and one last thing, which really DOESN’T matter in comparison to what they did to the human characters, but like... what fucking happened to appa?? why did they do that to him?

don’t watch the last airbender.

#the last airbender #text post #katara #sokka #zuko #aang #hideous bad movie time

[makeste]

on mysterious vestiges and intricate OFA time-travel plots

okay so I have done a lot of thinking about this over the course of the past week and have finally reached a point where I feel like I’ve more or less organized my thoughts, so here goes lol.

first off, a quick clarification; my lack of commentary on this in the recaps was due to my complete and utter failure to pay attention. sometimes I miss some pretty big details. in this case, I was so caught up in analyzing the OFA Avatars we could see that I failed to pay much notice to the two silhouettes aside from checking if either of them looked to be female. it didn’t occur to me to look for similarities to characters we already knew, because that wasn’t even a possibility in my head. obviously these two characters died years and years ago, so there’s no way they could possibly look familiar! logic! lol. (and off-topic, but I like to think this lends more weight to the Dabi = Touya theory because it just goes to show you that if you dismiss a possibility out of hand, your brain can completely ignore some pretty compelling evidence. so I think it is possible that Endeavor wouldn’t have recognized his grown up evil villain kid.)

anyway, so let’s start off by posting the silhouettes in question, from chapters 193 and 194:

and now some side-by-side comparisons. I’m going to start with Kiri first, mainly because I think the evidence isn’t as persuasive in his case.

like... I dunno. the shoulder pads are definitely similar, and an argument can be made that the silhouette clearly has something on their face that might be an upgraded version of Kiri’s faceguard. but that’s where the similarities end (and even with the faceguard, Kiri’s has a distinctly pointy shape that’s clearly more decorative than functional and which I believe is meant to emulate Crimson Riot’s distinctive pointy hairstyle. him changing up the look would defeat that purpose).

the hairstyle is very different. Kiri’s hair has a very pointy look to it whether he’s wearing it down in its natural state or gelled up in his usual spikes. a style like this would mean he’s grown it out to the point where his bangs are gone and it’s long enough to pull back completely with no hair coming loose on the sides. this would imply a significant timeskip prior to whatever is going on here. and that’s one thing I don’t see Horikoshi doing based on his interviews (though hey, who knows, I could be wrong).

lastly, there’s the matter of why Kirishima would be involved with OFA, story-wise. with Kacchan it makes some sense, since his story has been tied to Izuku’s from page one of the series, and over time his character has become increasingly connected to the OFA plot. Kiri, though, lacks any involvement in OFA matters as of now. he also lacks the personal connection to Izuku that Katsuki has; in fact he’s probably at least a good 5-6 characters down if I were to make a list of the 1-A students that Izuku is most closely connected to.

so given all this, for now I’m inclined to say that this figure is more than likely not Kirishima. as for who it might be instead, there’s a theory which I can’t find the link to (I’ll edit if/when I do) that it could be AFO’s masked bodyguard from chapter 193, which could be interesting and would make sense timeline-wise (if he was the second or third wielder). and their appearances do somewhat match up, although again it’s not exact.

aside from this, though, I have no current theories on their identity or why it’s currently being concealed. so for now, let’s move on to the other figure instead.

this last one is what sold me. with the other two images, I could be convinced that the similarities are just coincidence. we do, after all, have plenty of other characters with similarly spiky hair.

but for me, that last comparison goes past what can be considered a coincidental resemblance. here, take a look at it again, this time with the left image superimposed over the right:

this isn’t just “oh it looks kind of like his hairstyle/gauntlets/neck guard.” this doesn’t just resemble him; this is his exact profile. for Horikoshi to have drawn this and not been aware of the resemblance is frankly impossible. which means it must have been done intentionally.

besides which, there’s also the question of why he would keep the character’s identity hidden otherwise. if their appearance isn’t actually some sort of spoiler, then why hide it? I can’t think of any reason, which leads me to believe that it’s not just the hair, but the face as well. for whatever reason, this character design deliberately resembles Bakugou’s.

now granted, that doesn’t mean it actually is him. here are some other possibilities I can think of:

reincarnation (or hinted/implied reincarnation)

an ancestor of his

it’s not actually Kacchan, but whoever it is has a quirk that allows them to appear to others in the form of someone close to them, and so to Deku, they appear to be identical to Kacchan

some unrelated character that just happens to resemble him in a way which is intentional on Horikoshi’s part but coincidental in the story (possibly for humor purposes; “dsflkj he looks just like Kacchan how in the -- !?”)

however, I’ll be perfectly honest; none of these rings true to me. reincarnation doesn’t really seem to fit the tone of the series thus far. OFA itself is about as spiritual as we’ve gotten here. aside from that, we’ve steered pretty clear of metaphysical concepts and anything relating to religion, souls, afterlives, etc., so this would be a bit of a whiplashy concept to introduce at this point.

as for an ancestor, that seems more possible (particularly since we’ve seen that genes run incredibly strong on Mitsuki’s side of the family), but also would involve more coincidence than Horikoshi usually tends to work with. Katsuki’s ancestor just happened to be one of the original wielders of OFA, and now half a dozen generations down the line, his descendant just so happens to develop close personal ties to not one but two other OFA users. I mean, it could happen, but it’s odd, and I don’t really see the necessity of throwing in a detail like this, and it’s not often that Horikoshi does something simply for the hell of it without having some kind of purpose.

regarding option #3... it’s possible? weird, but possible. I don’t have any real rebuttals for it, other than it’s just really weird. I really only listed this because the idea occurred to me and I wasn’t able to completely dismiss it lol.

and lastly, the full-blown coincidence option. the character just happens to look like Kacchan. now @interstellar-elf, I know you mentioned the possibility of Horikoshi reusing a character design from a previous series:

here’s an image of Nina for those unfamiliar (she shows up in chapters 4 and 5 of the series, which you can find on the usual manga reading sites, sometimes listed as Sensei no Baruji instead of Barrage):

anyways, here’s my issue with this though -- this character design has already been reused. with Kacchan himself (and Mitsuki). if Horikoshi wanted to dust off an old design, I don’t think he would choose one so similar to an existent character, let alone one of the principal characters in the series. he has plenty of other available designs that aren’t going to invite the same comparisons. he already has two characters with strikingly similar appearances to Nina’s; why create a third? and again, why hide it if it doesn’t actually have some sort of plot importance?

all this leads me to believe that the most likely explanation is the simplest one: the shadowed figure that looks like Kacchan... is Kacchan.

and I know that I said “simplest” just now, but obviously a revelation like this would be anything but. how and why would Kacchan possibly be chilling out in Deku’s OFA dream presented as one of the 8 previous OFA avatars?? and here is my best answer: I have no idea. lol. this is beyond strange. chances are that any explanation I can come up with is going to end up being wildly off base.

having said that, the rest of this post is basically just wild conjecture. because if it is Kacchan, then there’s really only one possible explanation for how it would be possible:

time travel, bitches.

I know, I know. first off: is that even possible? but I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say yes. partly because all things are possible, because quirks; and partly because superhero comic storylines are fucking rife with motherfucking time travel. it’s a comic book staple. some of the most beloved storylines (Days of Future Past, anyone?) hinge on it. so yeah, sure, why not? let’s say it’s a thing.

and so now we finally get to the part of the post where I basically go nuts and basically just describe to you all the elaborate time travel plot that I came up with. will this be what happens in the series? almost certainly not. I’ll be honest, I have no idea what’s actually going to happen. not the slightest clue where this is leading. this all still seems really weird to me. but what I can tell you is what kind of plot I would come up with if I was the one writing it, and basically just doing what I want but whilst trying to fit the plot within the existing canon and what we know.

so here goes!

AFO comes up with a plan to undo the whole “All Might melted off my face” thing -- nay, the whole “All Might” problem to begin with -- by sending someone back in time to halt the OFA cycle by killing one of the past wielders. (not sure why they wind up going so far back in order to do this; maybe they only have minimal control of the actual time travel and kind of have to work with what they’ve got)

it more or less works, but Deku and Kacchan are caught up within the time travel user’s quirk and thus spared from the Back to the Future-like effects. but somehow they’re able to see what happens, and they realize that the bad guy somehow altered the past and they have to figure out what (s)he did and stop them

whilst in the past, Deku spots someone he recognizes from his OFA dream (most likely the guy standing in between All Might and Trench Coat, by process of elimination) and is all “oh snap that’s one of my OFA homies”

he then realizes “oh shit Time Travelling Bad Guy is trying to fucking kill this dude” and so he and Kacchan try to stop it

they are only partially successful; TTBG succeeds in mortally wounding OFA IV (oh yeah, forgot to mention that it turns out this is the fourth OFA user). but, in order to keep the OFA line from dying out, OFA IV passes the quirk along to Kacchan (because it has to be him, because Deku already has it and no one wants to experiment with what might happen if someone gives you OFA twice. and also, it’s possible that at this point the mysterious shadowy figure in Deku’s head has cleared up some and he realizes that it is Kacchan, and that this is all part of some closed time loop/predestination paradox bullshit lulz)

so now Kacchan is all “wtf am I supposed to do with this shit now, though, I obviously can’t stay here in the fucking past forever, we’ve gotta figure out a way back” and Deku is like “yeah”

and something something plot coincidence they end up running into OFA VI (because Kacchan is of course OFA V, since it’s the only number that’s part of his name), a.k.a. Trench Coat, whom Deku also recognizes and is like “OH SHIT, KACCHAN, GO AND GIVE IT TO THAT GUY”

so they do, thus succeeding in preserving OFA so that Nana, All Might, and then Deku can one day receive it, and thus restoring the timeline back to its natural “AFO gets his face potato-ized by All Might whether he likes it or not” state

and something something they figure out a way back (or maybe the time travel quirk just wears off, maybe they only had 24 hours or some shit like that), The End

except not quite because lol now Deku’s got a version of Kacchan just chilling out in his head, so that’s fun. and then the one thing that I don’t really like about this theory: the fact that this means he’ll end up getting Kacchan’s quirk. though maybe he’ll just avoid using it since it doesn’t feel right. or maybe he can’t use it without injuring himself since his palms don’t have the same resistance to said quirk that Kacchan’s do. or something like that. or maybe he somehow doesn’t get the quirk after all for whatever reason, but that seems less likely though

aaand that’s it. honestly, this would be a lot of fun but it also seems... how to put this... wildly indulgent, lol. like, this would be a dream arc for me. so for that reason alone I’ve got a lot of doubts. and also I have doubts because it feels like something out of Star Trek. not quite sure that this would fit in with the general tone of the series. mostly it’s just me throwing ideas out there. but hey, it’s fun, so.

anyways, so this post ended up being so much longer than I originally intended, but tl;dr: whatever the case ends up being, I think that one silhouette likely is Bakugou, and the most likely explanation is that some sort of time travel is involved. other than that I really don’t have much of a clue lol. if you guys have thoughts hit me up!

#bnha #boku no hero academia #bakugou katsuki #kirishima eijirou #midoriya izuku #bnha meta #bnha theory #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #makeste reads bnha #tbh there's no explanation for any of this that isn't intensely weird #the whole thing is just totally bizarre #I keep trying to come up with alternate explanations #but every time I go back to that third kacchan silhouette and it's like damn though #that's him!! #it's just so out there #guess we'll see #bak-u-go

[master-sass-blast]

Decisions, Decisions --Redux.

This probably sucks, but whatever. It’s done. #depressionsucks

Summary: Piotr’s POV on a previous fic, “Decisions, Decisions” (https://master-sass-blast.tumblr.com/post/181952711276/decisions-decisions).

Rating: M for injuries, mentions of abuse, near death experiences, gunshot wounds, and angst.

Pairings: Piotr Rasputin x Reader and Nathan Summers x Wade Wilson.

@marvel-is-perfection

The day starts out normally enough --though, his mother had always said that if bad days always started out bad, you’d start learning the signs so you could stand a chance against them, and that’d never happen because the universe never play fair.

It starts at a high point, admittedly. Listen to Wade’s antics --especially when he doesn’t have to clean up after the merc--is always amusing, and getting to help you with your band-aid is sweetly domestic and oddly endearing.

And then Nathan walks through the back door with none other than Frank Castle.

Maybe his mother was wrong. Maybe the universe does give signs for bad days.

He walks into the men’s locker room, already prepped and ready for the mission into Hell’s Kitchen.

A risky mission. A risky, dangerous mission that, while likely to save lives, will also undoubtedly end them.

He scowls as he listens to Wade jabber while Nathan and Frank get ready in a more practical fashion; Nathan seems amused --or endeared, or more likely both--while Frank is rolling his eyes every two seconds, and under normal circumstances Piotr might find that amusing, but now--

“You alright?” Nate asks when he notices Piotr scowling.

He hesitates for a moment, then opts for honesty. “I think this is bad idea.”

“Pete-y pie!” Wade chirps through the mask, inanely cheerful. “Cheer up, buttercup! We’re just gonna go in, un-alive a few baddies, and save the poor unfortunate souls they trafficked! No big deal.”

He tries to keep from grinding his teeth together --armor or not, it’s just not good for his teeth or his jaw. He never changes. No matter what we do for him or how much help we provide, he never grows past his need to kill. “The X-Men do not kill.”.

“Christ,” Frank growls as he pinches the bridge of his repeatedly broken and re-healed nose. “Don’t tell me you’re gonna bitch about that. You honestly think these shitbags deserve to live?”

“Save it for now,” Nathan says, taking control of the situation. “Do you have a tactical concern?”

“Why do you want Y/N on this mission?” Piotr asks. “And me? What do we add to the team?”

“We need an official X-Men representative to take care of the trafficking victims; your armor means that you’ll be the least vulnerable given the situation.”

“Y/N does not have armor.”

“She’s handling recon--”

“Enough, Nathan.” Piotr looks the older --younger?--man dead in the eye. “We both know that recon could be handled without Y/N. Why is she coming?”

“Her power set’ll come in handy on the mission. Make it easier to get in and out without so much bloodshed.” Nate arches an eyebrow at him, questioning and challenging all at once. “I thought you’d be all over that.”

Piotr purses his lips. He knows he’s on the losing side of this argument --it’s your choice to go, after all, and you made it freely--but he still can’t shake the feeling that this is an extremely bad idea. “I just think that, given her history with firearms, this might not be best mission for her.”

That gets Frank’s attention. The former marine goes from prepping his weapons and rolling his eyes to watching the two men with a level of scrutiny so intense it’s almost uncomfortable. “Is there something I’m missing? Are we taking a suicidal person on this mission?”

“No,” Nathan growls. “Give me a little more credit than that, Castle.”

“Well, outside of that, I’m not sure what kinda issues she’d have with guns--”

“She grew up in anti-mutant community, was hunted by men with rifles whenever she tried to escape,” Piotr says, maybe a little too eager to turn the argument in his favor --but also keen to protect your privacy.

Frank’s jaw rolls, and one of his fingers twitches. “Christ. And you’re worried that she’ll have flashbacks?”

“Something like that.”

“She hasn’t shown any signs of reacting to gunfire before,” Nathan argues. “And she had every opportunity to say ‘no’ to going on this mission.”

“Bullshit,” Frank spits out. “That’s not how triggers work. It’s not always an ‘across the board’ thing.”

Before anyone else can argue, there’s a pounding on the door that leads to the main hangar. “Hey!” you shout. “Are you guys ready yet? We need to go!”

“We’re out of time to argue,” Nathan says as he finishes loading up his various weapons. “We’ve got people to save.”

Things don’t just go South. They go completely inside out.

You get caught and you get shot, and you go down and can’t get up to protect yourself.

And then, just like he’d known --feared--you slip into an episode.

Next to him, Frank flinches when your scream rips through the speaker in his ear. “What the fuck? What’s happening?”

Piotr grits his teeth and darts forward. “What I thought would.”

There’s another scream that echoes into the night, and then the sound of something metal slamming into another metal object. Gunfire follows, which is then followed by the sound of men --lots of men--screaming.

Frank hisses through his teeth as he moves forward with Piotr. “That doesn’t sound good.”

“It isn’t.” He starts running towards the sounds of screaming, gritting his teeth as he feels wind whipping around him. D’ermo.

There’s another burst of wind, and then one of the massive shipping containers lifts off the ground and hurtles straight towards them.

“Get behind me!” Piotr shouts at Frank, then lifts his arms to deflect the container.

Frank lets out a stream of swear words as the container bounces away across the dock. “What the fuck is going on? What’s your girlfriend doing?”

Trying to survive. He blocks the remains of a car flying towards them. “I’ll make sure nothing big hits us. Keep the traffickers off our back. We need to get to Y/N before she destroys the dock.”

“She can do that?” Frank shouts as he follows him.

“You are surprised?” he shouts back as he deflects another shipping container.

“Not really.”

He grimaces as Frank unleashes a hail of bullets at a couple of traffickers, and focuses on moving towards the sounds of your screaming. We need to finish this. Now.

Fortunately, he doesn’t have to wait long --or at all, really.

Unfortunately, it’s because of you.

The rest of the containers are ripped off the ground, flung away to various points on the dock, knocking out some of the traffickers and almost hitting Nathan and Neena along the way.

You’re on your knees, screaming as you curl in on yourself. There’s a visible sphere of air around you, swirling and spinning to create a shield between you and the rest of the world.

His heart clenches in his chest as he watches you grip at your hair. “Wade!”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m on it!”

Before he can do anything, though, you lift up your head and shriek.

A shockwave crashes across the dock, slamming into him and everything --everyone--else in its path.

He groans as he hits the pavement with a clang, digs one hand into the concrete with one hand as the winds threaten to toss him across Hell’s Kitchen, and latches onto an airborne Frank with the other.

You slowly lift off the ground, surrounded by a sphere of wind --for a moment, an inane, distracted part of his brain is reminded of Aang from the series finale of ‘Avatar: The Last Airbender’--and scream again. Chunks of concrete rip from the dock, flying into the air--

And then they drop back down to the ground as the wind dies out, and you drop down with them seconds later, hitting the pavement limply with a thud.

“Shit,” Frank hisses as he hits the ground, and then he’s up and running.

Piotr moves a little slower --he has to extract his hand from the concrete of the dock--which gives him time to see the sheer and utter carnage around him.

Blood. Everywhere. Dripping from battered, smashed bodies, staining the pavement, sprayed across the dented containers like raindrops.

“She’s bleeding out!”

Frank’s shout makes him go completely still, and then he’s armoring down and sprinting towards you.

Frank has his hands on your leg, pressing down against a steady stream of blood. “We need to get her to a hospital.”

“There are healers at the mansion,” Nathan starts as he ushers the surviving trafficking victims towards the jet.

“The bullet’s probably hit her femoral. She needs a fucking hospital.”

You let out a gasp, and then your fist comes up and slams into Frank’s face. Hard.

He reels back, startled more than anything else.

You stumble to your feet, shaky and pale but still fighting. “No, no, no, no!”

Piotr lunges after you, wraps a hand around your arm and doesn’t let go. “Myshka, please--”

Wade sprints towards you and clasps a mutation repression collar around your neck before scooping you into his arms. “Alright, sis, let’s go.”

Things go from bad to worse on the jet.

“She’s flat-lining!”

He may as well be too, for all the good his heart does him when he hears Frank’s shout.

Nathan’s in the cockpit, pushing the jet as fast as he can given that they’re in city limits. “We’re twenty minutes out from the mansion--”

“She’s dying, Summers, she needs a fucking hospital!”

“She’s a mutant, Castle! Hospitals don’t take us!”

He can hear himself screaming --coordinates to a hospital he knows has worked with Xavier before and taken cases too difficult for the healers at the mansion to handle--and feel the jet veer accordingly, but he can’t connect to it. All he can feel --all he’s connected to--is your hand in his, limp and clammy and too cold for comfort. He’s cupping the side of your face, murmuring pleas into your hairline--

Crying. He’s crying. Crying and shaking like a leaf and terrified.

He sees a flicker of movement out of the corner of his eye and realizes it’s Frank, tying a tourniquet around your leg.

“Don’t worry, Rasputin. We’ll get your girl there in one piece.”

You’re barely holding on by the time they reach the hospital.

Two groups of nurses come running out --a larger one for the trafficking victims, and a smaller set with a gurney for you. The smaller group scoops you up and whisks you away through a set of doors.

He waits until the trafficking victims are inside, out of sight and earshot, and then--

And then he hauls off and punches Nathan, straight across the face.

Neena’s fast to get between them, while Frank grabs onto his arm and Wade helps Nate up. “Whoa! Easy!”

“What did I tell you?” Piotr shouts. “What did I say?”

Nathan glares at him as he wipes blood off his upper lip. “I didn’t know this would happen, Piotr.”

“You knew she was compromised, Summers,” Frank spits out. “You knew she had issues--”

“She’s been on missions before; she was cleared!” Nathan shouts back. “Do you really think I’d bring her along if she wasn’t?”

“I said this mission would be too dangerous!” Piotr snaps --screams. “That she was not ready for something like Hell’s Kitchen! That it was too risky!”

“She made her choice, Piotr.”

“And you let her.”

Nathan spreads his hands. “What did you want me to do? I’m not her babysitter, Piotr! She’s capable of making her own damn choices!”

“There is difference between our missions and Hell’s Kitchen. I expect you to know that and choose your team accordingly! Y/N is not assassin, and she has no training for dealing with men like traffickers --let alone those that frequent Hell’s Kitchen. You knew that, and you asked her anyway.”

“Piotr--”

“You put a fucking greenhorn on the mission, Summers,” Frank growls. “You under-prepped a member of your team. That’s on you.”

Nathan rolls his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose, but nods. “Okay, yeah. I made a mistake. What do you want me to do about it? It happened, we’re here; I can’t take it back, I can’t change anything!”

Piotr scowls and shakes his head. “I could lose her because of your oversight. I could lose the rest of my life--” his voice breaks, and he has to stop to catch his breath “--because of your choices.”

Nathan sighs, heavy and hard. “Piotr, I’m sorry--”

He shakes his head again and walks down the ramp of the jet towards the hospital. “You need to think more carefully about who you bring into your war, Cable. Not everyone is meant to be soldier.”

You look peaceful, sleeping in the hospital bed. One of the nurses must have neatened up your hair a little, fanned it out over the pillow so it wouldn’t get tangled. You’re still too pale for comfort, but all your vitals are registering strong on the monitor. Normal.

He sighs, takes hold of your hand, and presses his lips against your knuckles.

There’s the sound of heavy boots against the floor, and then Frank’s hovering at the threshold of your room. “She okay?”

He nods. “We got here in time. The doctors say she should wake in little while.”

Frank nods, then crosses over to him and holds out a little envelope. “For when she wakes up. I can’t stick around.”

“Thank you.” He pockets the card, then looks up at the mass-murder standing next to your bed. “Why take my side?”

Frank’s mouth pulls down in a grimace. “I’ve been at the command of guys who didn’t do right by their men before. That shit doesn’t sit right with me.”

He sighs and rubs his face with his free hand. “Cable isn’t--”

“He’s not the jackass to end all jackasses, but he fucked up.” Frank shrugs. “He fucked up and we almost got killed for it. I got issues with that.”

Piotr purses his lips. “I don’t think it is that simple.”

“Maybe not for you. Is for me.” Frank turns and walks back out of the room, then stops halfway. “Does she know you love her?”

Piotr huffs out a laugh. “Da. She is my partner, Frank.”

“People connect to each other in a thousand different ways without ever telling each other how they feel, Rasputin.”

That’s true. “She and I are getting married, once she gets better.”

Frank looks at him over his shoulder. “People don’t get better from that kinda shit. Not really.”

“She wants... diagnosis first. For why she... has her issues.”

“You mean it’s not PTSD?”

“We’re not sure. She has side effects that... do not fall into any illness or injury classification. We are still looking for answers.”

Frank takes a moment to process that, then nods. “I’m rooting for the two of ya. Take care, Rasputin.”

“Try to stay out of trouble, Mr. Castle.”

Frank laughs, harsh and bitter, as he walks out into the hallway again. “That’ll be the day.”

Piotr shakes his head --the man’s not wrong--and focuses on you again. He clasps your hand between his and kisses your fingers. And now, all we do is wait.

He has a lot of time to think while he waits.

The first thing he figures out is that Cable’s mission isn’t compatible with the X-Men’s practices. As much as the man may have a point, the X-Men don’t fight wars; their mission is to help the rest of the world see a different facet of mutant-kind, one that doesn’t put mutants on an instant kill list, and help take care of mutant kids and train them how to control their powers. War isn’t something the X-Men can do.

If Cable’s going to keep fighting his war --and it’s one that needs to be fought, Piotr’s not afraid to admit that--he can’t keep dragging the X-Men into it. They’re just not trained or equipped for the same level of fighting.

You’ve proved that. You shouldn’t have had to.

The second thing he figures out is that Nathan should’ve never dragged you, the X-Men, and Frank Castle into the same circles. Flat out. As much as Wade likes to bitch about images, the X-Men do have to think about them. They work with children, and they need to stay above board to keep doing that.

And you, well, you’ve had bounty hunters sicced on you by your parents before, and your uncle is a former non-voluntary government operative. The quieter things stay for you, the better, and Frank Castle is the opposite of quiet. Basic logic.

The third thing he figures out is that if Wade and Nathan are going to keep working jobs that the likes of Frank Castle works, they can’t stay at the X-Mansion. Basic logic. Again.

He’s too fuzzy, adrenaline long since worn off, to contemplate anything past that. He slowly nods off in the chair next to your bed, jerking awake every few minutes to check the vitals on your monitor, to make sure that you’re still alright.

The last thing he thinks of before he falls under is how much he loves you.

You wake up.

You wake up, and he’s never felt so relieved before in his life. He can’t stop touching you, kissing you, looking you over every few seconds to make sure you’re alright --really alright.

The nurses urge him to head back to the Institute, take a shower, and get some rest. They’re right, and you’re still sleeping off the effects of the anesthesia, so he does.

Well, for the most part. He does shower, and he eats something, and he makes himself a cup of coffee.

“You look like shit.” Ellie sits down next to him at the breakfast table. “How is she?”

“She woke up a little bit ago. She’s good --as good as she can be.”

“And how are you?”

He sighs, presses his fist against his mouth. “Things need to change. Deadpool and Cable can’t stay here.”

“No shit. What was your first clue?”

He gives her a look, then drinks more of his coffee. “Have you heard anything from the Professor?”

“He’s pissed, as is Scott and the rest of the team. They’re pissed that Y/N got shot, and blame Douchepool for dragging the likes of the Punisher into our arena.”

Piotr shakes his head. “It was Cable. Not Deadpool.”

“Yeah, well, point stands. They’re dragging shit to us that doesn’t need to be dragged.”

He gives her another look for her language and finishes off his coffee. “On that, we are agreed.”

“Okay, what’s your fucking deal?”

Piotr doesn’t look up as he makes himself a cup of coffee in the hospital cafeteria. “You will have to be more specific, Cable.”

Nathan growls behind him. “That. That shit --the distancing and deflecting. What fucking bug do you have up your ass, Colossus?”

Even he’s not completely sure, if he’s being honest. He’s exhausted, still a little battered from the fight at the docks, and his nerves are completely fried from almost losing you.

And, well, he knows he’s not going to haul off on you for trying to help --especially not after you’ve had an episode--which really only leaves one other target.

Cable.

He almost lost you a few days ago; he’s spent past couple years imagining and dreaming about having a future with you, spent time soaking in your love and affection, and it was all almost ripped away in a matter of seconds.

All because Cable couldn’t keep you out of his war.

Because Piotr knows --he knows--that the recon could’ve been handled without you. It’s a thought that he can’t let go, wrapping around his brain like a neurotically flashing neon sign edged with thorns. He knows that you didn’t need to be there, that you would’ve been safer back at the mansion, and he knows that Cable knows all that, too.

It’s almost like Cable and Deadpool are too close to distinguish, now; two men fighting a war on their own terms, screw whoever gets tagged as collateral.

Nyet. That’s not right.

Because Cable is careful in ways that Deadpool never will be. He plans, he takes the people on his team into account, he keeps track of the battlefield and how many opponents are left.

And, if Piotr’s being honest with himself, he knows that you’d never be mindless collateral to Cable --or Deadpool, for that matter.

But he still brought you into his war, a war you weren’t trained to fight.

And as a leader, as a man that’s spent years learning how to set up mission rosters, how to assess trainees and what missions they’re ready for, how to know when someone just shouldn’t be on a mission --or a mission just shouldn’t be run--it angers him like nothing else. It’s careless. Callous.

But he’s not sure he wants to start that argument with Cable. He knows from dealing with Mikhail that some people are just set in their ways, and while they don’t like it when other people get hurt by them, it’s not actually enough to change their points of view.

(Life, really, is nothing but collateral damage if he wanted to be pessimistic about it, and he’s learned all too well from Wade that not everyone operates by his high standards of doing things.)

Besides, he really ought to be getting back to you, anyway.

He puts a lid on his cup and takes a sip as he turns and walks away --all without making eye contact with Nathan. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Man, if I knew I’d be getting the royal treatment, I’d make a point to get shot more often.”

He grimaces when you giggle. “Please, do not. I am happy to pamper you without you getting shot.”

“I was kidding, Piotr. I like getting shot as much as the next person --unless that person happens to be Wade or Frank, because I think they might actually enjoy it.”

He does laugh this time, and bends down to kiss you before lifting you into the shotgun seat of his car. “You may have point there.”

You wait until he’s pulled out of the hospital parking lot to point out the elephant in the room. “Why’re you pissed off with dad and Wade?”

He considers dodging, then thinks better of it. He’s got over an hour left on the drive with you, and he knows that you won’t drop it until you’re satisfied with the answer you get. “Wade is… Wade. Just… usual frustrations.”

“And dad?”

He drums his fingers against the steering wheel as he waits for the light to change colors. “He was careless. Brought you --brought the X-Men--into a war none of us needed to fight. It upsets me.”

You let out a little ‘hmm’ next to him. “And you’ve gone full cold shoulder because?”

“It is matter of principle,” he says as calmly as he can; he’s irritated and tired, yes, but he doesn’t want to take that out on you. “Leaders who put others like that at risk should not lead. I had to train for years--” He cuts himself off to keep from ranting and takes a few deep breaths before he starts talking again. “I cannot abide with those who needlessly put others at risk. I do not think Cable meant to put you at risk, but he made a mistake that was easily avoided --one that nearly cost the lives of all involved. That makes me angry.”

You go quiet for a moment, then put a hand on his thigh, patting his leg gently. “You know that the mission hasn’t changed my feelings about dad and Wade, right?”

“Your relationship with them is independent of mine. I know they are family to you, and I would not ask you to give that up.”

“Just as long as you won’t be mad with me if I still want to spend time with them.”

He smiles and lifts your hand to his mouth so he can press a kiss to it. “Never.”

It comes down to a vote, in the end.

The X-Men vote unanimously to give Wade the boot.

Wade doesn’t take the news that he’s getting kicked out well. “So, you’re saving face again. Get rid of the rabid, mutant, fucked up dog before he can infect the rest of your Eukanuba, purebred puppies. Well, isn’t that just a lovely daisy on top of a shit boquette!”

“Bringing the Punisher into our arena was completely out of line!” Scott seethes.

“Bringing Castle in was my call, not Wade’s,” Nathan pipes up. “He knew the area, he was familiar with the types of shitbags that worked out of Hell’s Kitchen.”

“His reputation,” Ororo aruges, “is a liability to this school and everyone in it.”

“So we’re more worried about reputation than saving people’s lives?” Wade asks, scoffing. “Is that what this has come to?”

“We’re fighting a war,” Nathan adds through his teeth. “You can’t always keep your hands perfectly clean if you want to win.”

“You’re fighting a war,” Piotr corrects quietly. “We have children to take care of. If you need to fight your war, you can’t do it from here.”

There’s a moment where something akin to respect flashes in Nathan’s eyes--

And said moment is promptly ruined by Scott. “Well, wait. Nathan, you’ll always be welcome here, but Wade--”

Nathan rolls his eyes and scoffs as he turns to walk out of Xavier’s office, yanking Wade along with him. “You just don’t get it.”

“What the fuck!”

He grimaces. “Look, this decision has be long time in making--”

“You’re kicking Wade out. You all voted to kick Wade out--”

“Deadpool does not fit in with our way of life. He believes things differently, and while diversity of belief is good for the world, we cannot have an assassin living with children. If we lose our licensing to work with our students, many children will lose vital education for controlling their powers and a safe place to stay. They have to be the priority.”

You consider for a moment, then let out a sigh. “Yeah. Yeah. That’s… that makes sense. What about dad? Is he going, too?”

“Da. If he wants to fight a war, he needs to leave for same reasons as Deadpool. And, honestly, it would be best for Deadpool if Cable goes with. He is great stability for him.”

You nod. “He is.”

He kisses your temple, then the top of your head when you lean against him. “What about you? Are you staying here, or will you go with them?”

“My therapy’s here, and I’ve got bounty hunters after me. Best place for me is here.” You smile up at him. “Besides, you’re here.”

He smiles back, and dips his head to kiss you.

“Are you gonna mind if they stop by the visit every now and then? They’re… they’re still my family. I still wanna see them, even if they don’t live here.”

He shrugs, grins. “If the Institute can hire your uncle as protection, I think Cable and Deadpool can stop by for family visits.”

You grin back. “Awesome.”

#sass writes #piotr rasputin x reader #colossus x reader #tw: abuse #tw: injury #tw: near death experience #this is ANGSTY #fluff next week i promise #maybe #cablepool #nathan summers x wade wilson #deadpool fanfiction #x men fanfiction

[cursemcrked]

Hey there, and thanks for taking a second to browse through these!  I was going to make a special page for it, but every time I do, I end up hating the theme and changing it fifty billion times, so I’m giving this a shot!  Anyway, this might seem like a lot as far as ‘rules’ are concerned, but most of it is just outlining what to expect on this blog so there won’t be any (potentially unpleasant) surprises later on.

So, most important is credit!  This part will be updated as I change things around on the blog:  The image used in my avatar is ‘Jashin’s Apostle’ by the incredibly-talented Roggles.

This is an independent, semi-selective roleplaying blog.  Probably should throw canon-divergent in there, too, as it’s bound to happen somewhere down the line.  The only reason I’m saying ‘selective’ at all is because I’m a person who is overwhelmed very easily with replies (I’ll explain why in a minute here), so I’d like to limit my interactions to something manageable.  Just because I turn down an interaction does not mean that a) I don’t want to write with you, b) I will never want to write with you, c) I don’t like you or your character, or d) I’m shutting down any interaction we might have.  Even if I say ‘hey, i’m not looking for more threads at the moment’, that does not mean we can’t plot something out for when I’m not so swamped, or that we can’t scream about our muses together, or just chat out of character for a while.  I’m just temporarily turning down another thread, I’m not turning you down.

This blog is going to contain a lot of…let’s call it questionable material, given the nature of Hidan. In the interest of staying true to his character, I will not shy away from this stuff, meaning there will be a lot of blood, violence, gore, and the like.  It will, however, be tagged to hell and back, and if I’m threading with someone who is uncomfortable writing out all of that stuff, I will be happy to discuss the outcome with said partner (because continuity is an awesome thing, in my opinion) and do a fade to black.  

Hidan will not kill your character unless I have your explicit permission.  I will draw the line at serious wounds (again, with your permission).

The only topics I will never approach, as I find them just…ick:  incest, pedophilia, rape.  This list will probably grow as I think of things/am approached for topics.

OCs are welcomed with open arms on this blog, as are crossovers and AUs.  Doesn’t matter if I’m familiar with the fandom or not, whether they have a fandom or not (in the case of ocs).  Give them to me, please and thank.

I’m going to be slow.  Like, herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter slow.  I work a lot, run another roleplay blog, and have IRL stuff going on quite a bit (which sucks, but you know).  Patience is greatly appreciated.  A nudge after a few days is a-okay, even encouraged, since I’m pretty scatterbrained 99.99% of the time; multiple nudges over the span of like, two days?  Eh, not so much.  I don’t think anybody appreciates that. It’s also worth noting that, if you write a thing for me (be it a starter, an ask, a drabble, etc.) and I don’t give it a like, I haven’t seen it, so please please please nudge me and let me know it’s there!  I don’t want anybody thinking I’m ignoring them or something.  

I am not my muse.  And – you know what, I’m gonna say it again, since I’ve had issues with this in the past:   I am not my muse.  Hidan is an asshole.  He’s going to be rude, obnoxious, foul-mouthed, and just generally disrespectful, because that’s….just him.  His feelings on something (another muse, a situation, a particular topic, whatever) do not always mirror mine.  If you’re ever wondering about my personal stance on anything, feel free to ask me, as I have no problem sharing, but please do not assume that he and I are going to agree on everything.

Shipping:  Since lots of folks love this particular topic, I gotta make sure it’s covered.  I love to ship as much as the next person, but only if the chemistry is there between our muses!  Hidan is going to be…a pain in the ass to get close to, honestly, but I’m not going to say it won’t ever happen.   But, please don’t force ships.  Kills the thread, kills the mood, kills the muse.  Not a good thing.

I’m not exclusive, but I will be ship exclusive.  Like, say, I’ve got a ship going with character A, and another version of character A comes along.  I will gladly write with that second version, but any discussion of a potential ship will be shut right down, as I’ve already got it with the first.

I am of age (21+), as is my muse, and there will undoubtedly by NSFW material appearing on this blog.  Most of it will be contained to writing, with the occasional image thrown in, and it will be tagged (regardless of what form it may take), with a general nsfw //, (subject) //, and (subject) cw..  Pretty obsessive when it comes to tagging, as I really don’t want my followers blasted with stuff they don’t want to see.  Also, if there’s anything specific you need tagged, let me know!  I’ll be more than happy to do it for you.

Unless it's part of a thread, dirty NSFW stuff will mostly show up on Sunday (Sinday) only. Again, all will be tagged.

It should be a given, but since it’s apparently not:  I will happily write with anyone and everyone, but NSFW stuff will NOT be written with folks under the age of 18.  And please, please do not lie about your age.  It’s rude and could potentially get people in trouble, so…yeah.  Please don’t.

I like using small text, with an icon or two thrown in, and most of the time, my replies will end up on the longer side.  In no way do I expect my partners to match me; length, style, whatever.  Doesn’t matter.  As long as I have something to work with, we’re good.  And, if you need me to use normal text for our threads, just let me know!  I’ll be glad to do so.

OOC communication will be kept between the other mun and myself.  If you send me an ask out of character regarding some matter between us, it will be answered privately unless it’s for a meme I reblogged or you specifically ask me to post it.  OOC discussions are strictly between you and I, not us and the rest of the dashboard.

Memes, I frickin’ love memes.  Rarely will a day go by that I don’t reblog one of some kind, and these are, of course, for everybody.  If you’re feeling one of them, send it in!  Memes are great ice-breakers, so I welcome any and all.  I don’t do reblog karma, either.  If you want to send the thing, send the thing.  If you like the meme, want to reblog it, and don’t feel like sending the thing, reblog away and don’t send the thing.  It’s all good!  Sometimes those things just don’t work, and that’s a-okay by me.  I’m not going to try and guilt you into sending me stuff.

Constructive criticism is good and highly encouraged.  I’m always looking to improve on stuff, so thoughts and opinions are always welcome.  Hate, on the other hand, is not.  Hate will be laughed at, deleted, and the sender will be blocked.  If someone cannot conduct themselves like a decent human being, they’re not worth anyone’s time.  So – yeah, just don’t.  Might sound a little harsh, but in my time roleplaying on Tumblr I have seen so much hate thrown around the dash, and I’m absolutely fed up with it.

Minor godmodding is alright.  Like, if you’re writing a starter or answering a meme thing that I sent you, and you need my muse doing/saying something specific, then go ahead and write it in that they did the thing!  If we’re threading and yours asks something minor of mine (’pass that to me, would you?’), it’s okay to assume it was done!  So long as it doesn’t go further than that, it’s perfectly fine.

While I may not send in passwords, phrases, or whatever people are using now, I read everyone’s rule page – no exceptions.  So, rest assured, if you see my URL in your followers list, your rules have been read.  And I’ll probably read them again when we start interacting, just so I make sure I don’t miss anything.

My followers are welcome to hit me up on other platforms; Skype, Discord, Steam, and so forth.  Just lemme know which one you want, if you do at all, and I’ll be happy to give you my handle(s).

And that…should cover the important points.  I’ll update this as situations arise, or I remember stuff.  In the meantime, though, I want to thank you again for reading through these, and I’m looking forward to meeting and writing with you all!

#( guidelines ;; )

[oumakokichi]

What was Iruma's motive for attempting to kill Ouma?

Thank you for asking this! Chapter 4 is still such a mess ofmisconceptions and mistranslations and fake spoilers—I think I’ve actually seenworse fake spoilers for Chapter 4 still than I have for Chapter 6, and you’dthink it’d be the other way around considering all the big reveals that come atthe end.

I hope it’s okay if I try and use this ask as a way ofclarifying a little bit more on Chapter 4! I know I’ve done a lot of thatalready yesterday, but I still want to try and help clear up any other matterson the chapter that people might still be fuzzy about.

What I can say pretty firmly is that while Miu’s actualreasons for picking Ouma specifically are unclear, her motivations are (likehalf the DR cast) pretty much about self-preservation and wanting to get out ofthe situation they were all in.

She did not actually want to “save the group” in any way.The VR world was never supposed to be a world free from killing, or a peaceful,fun place to relax and live happily ever after. I know people became confusedon this point for the most part because Miu doeslie to the group and say she’s going to “save them” shortly after the beginningof Chapter 4—but this is unmistakably a lie, as she then proceeds to holeherself up in her lab and set about programming and creating the VR world.

She programmed the entirety of it, everything from thehammer (despite telling the group point-blank that there were “no weapons whichcould kill people” in the VR world), to the mirroring of the two halfs of thescreen to create a secret way across that only she could use, to setting herown avatar status as an “object” instead of a “person,” so that she couldutilize the mirrored path I just mentioned.

None of thesethings were objects or “glitches” added by Monokuma. The only thing Monokumaadded to the VR world was the remember light, and he told Ouma the location ofit. Everything found around Miu’s body in the VR world was part of her own verycalculated, methodical plan to commit murder, and she lied about the VR worldbeing entirely safe in order to lull the group into a false sense of security.Her plan to force Momota’s avatar to log out earlier than the rest and to sethim up with the poison in Ouma’s chair was because she wanted to make it appear asif Ouma had been killed in the real world, specifically because she wanted all of them to believe that murder wasimpossible in the VR world. It was her “perfect plan” for getting away withmurder scott-free.

Of course, her plan backfired because Ouma became curiousabout why she’d been holing up in her lab for so long. He noticed her programfor creating the VR world (and it’s not hard to guess that he also wanted tosnoop around her lab for the sake of his overall investigation, since we knowhe was carrying one out from the state of his room in Chapter 6), and when hedid a little digging into the program, he discovered the settings she wasprogramming into his avatar: that whenever she touched him, he’d be renderedcompletely immobile. Therefore, he guessed that she was setting up a plan tomurder him and set up a counter-plan in action, having to work around both thefact that he couldn’t touch her himself, and that she could literally log anyof them out or change their statuses in the VR world at any time she wantedusing her cell phone.

Again, I just want to clarify: the plan to kill him was notsomething Monokuma told him directly or fed him information about. He andMonokuma struck up a deal to “keep the killing game entertaining,” and when therest of the group catches on to this in the trial, they accuse this of being anunfair helping hand. Monokuma specifies that it’s not actually a violation ofthe rules as long as he doesn’t interfere with or assist in any actual plansfor murder, since those are something the students themselves have to carryout.

Everything happens rather quickly at the beginning ofChapter 4, so we can only really speculate as to what pushed Miu over the edgeto the point that she’d be willing to commit murder. But given the themes ofthe chapter, and how Gonta was similarly pushed over the edge by the rememberlight, I’d say the best theory is that the things they saw right at the startof the chapter, with the first remember light, are what cracked her resolve andmade her desperate to leave the school.

It’s worth noting that she was one of, if not the most visibly upset member of the groupafter seeing “the state of the outside world.” She was so visibly distraughtthat many of the others even commented on it, and it was only after seeingthose things that she decided to stay holed up in her lab and put her plan intoaction. She only really mentions “needing to be back in the outside world” and “wantingto change the world with her inventions,” so my guess is that, like Kirumi, shemade a very cold, pragmatic decision that she would rather be outside andinventing things for as many people as possible, rather than stuck inside theschool any longer. She was perfectly willing to kill not only Ouma, but also tosacrifice the rest of the group at the school trial if it meant getting herselfout.

As for why she picked Ouma specifically…well, I mean, sheprobably (mistakenly) thought him an easy target. No one in the group liked himexcept perhaps Gonta and Saihara, so there would be plenty of motive for justabout anyone. And she singled Momota out as the one she wanted to pin the blameon too, meaning she also probably considered the fact that he had had such aloud and outspoken hatred for Ouma beforehand, and wanted to try and paint itas something that would make Momota look suspicious.

Ouma was physically small, so that might also have added toher decision. Himiko would’ve been the other single easiest target, physicallyspeaking, but there would have been pretty much no incentive or motive foranyone in the group to kill a small, cute girl like Himiko. Plus, I’d bewilling to guess that since Ouma was, in fact, constantly talking down to Miuand referring to her the exact same way that she talked down to everybody else,she resented him enough to the point that she thought she’d get somesatisfaction out of it by killing him off herself.

Really, her plan was pretty brilliant. She utilized her SHSLtalent to the fullest in order to try and pull it off, and I think if she’dbeen dealing with anyone who wasn’t as perceptive as Ouma (or anyone who didn’tlike to snoop around so much), she’d have succeeded probably.

I hope this helps clear up some of the confusion! Contraryto a lot of rumors and false information, Miu was not acting in the group’s owninterest. She’s never, ever tried to be a group player, actually. Every timeshe’s modified Kiibo, it’s because of her own interest in mechanics and robots,and she’s constantly belittled and talked down to those in the group shethought of as weak or easy targets (mostly Himiko, but also Gonta, and Kaedewhen she first met her).

She absolutely, 100% was willing to get the entire groupkilled if it meant getting the hell out of there, and she was certainly notabove relying on underhanded tactics in order to do it. There was nothing inher plan about “survivable comas” or “letting the group live happily in the VRworld.” She really, truly was just planning a good-old-fashioned murder.

However, as I’ve said many times before, self-preservationand wanting to survive no matter whatare constantly motivating many of the characters in DR. Miu being willing tolie face-to-face to the entire group and tell them that she’d made a super fun,super safe world to play around in is really not all that different from the motivesand objectives of plenty of other culprits we’ve seen before.

Again, thank you for stopping by and asking!

#ndrv3 #drv3 #new danganronpa v3 #miu iruma #iruma miu #ndrv3 spoilers // #my meta #okay to reblog #in fact please reblog this actually it might help stop a lot of the fake rumors about chapter 4 #anonymous

[thewickedbohemian]

Friendly reminder that even if some elements of a fictional dystopia come true in our world, that doesn’t mean we’re literally headed for the future the dystopia depicts because how could something exist in the past as fiction and the future as reality at the same time (even if it was used as a guidebook, how could they exactly predict the way the dystopia was taken down since you’d think they would plan for something that specific)?

1. Juggalos marching on Washington does not mean we’re headed for a Homestuck future because A. iirc they’re on the wrong side for it to mirror that particular future and B. even if I remembered that part wrong, Homestuck’s gone a lot meta over the years but never meta to the level where characters in the comic could be reading the comic within the comic (even if the characters who were reading it weren’t reading about their own adventures) and to have it so that, in order to avoid that, the “main characters” of this “real life Homestuck” would be people who haven’t heard of the comic and still fit the “requirements” (13 years old (or however old the Alpha kids are), only child, one parental figure etc.), would require almost ridiculous levels of machinations to set everything up for that future and I doubt anyone who’d have the power to do that has the Homestuck knowledge to do that unless something is going on that’s a level of weird that would make Homestuck’s plot look like Dick And Jane.

2. We aren’t in the dark timeline of Back To The Future because A. Trump didn’t make any part of his fortune on sports bets, B. Biff wasn’t based on him but on one of the studio executives who Zemeckis didn’t like (iirc the name of the guy was Rick Tannen) and C. The movies couldn’t exist within any of the realities they take place in unless e.g. everyone has different names in each version and they’re some sort of universal constant but if that’s the case, A. someone in the movies would have mentioned how familiar what they had to do sounded and B. I think we should check if we’re in some sort of absurdist Simpsons-esque cartoon first because a movie series plot seems like a weird thing to have as a universal constant.

3. Speaking of Simpsons, The Simpsons did not predict this unless you think that either the family depicted on the show is real (and therefore everything that happened to them is a real thing in whichever Springfield is theirs) or some other woman named Lisa Marie Simpson will run for (and win) the presidency in 2020 and appoint a nerdy childhood friend of hers named Milhouse Van Houten as her Secretary Of The Treasury. I don’t know about other cases of “Simpsons predicted it” because I make an effort to not really watch the show but I felt this needed refuting both on its predictive power and the predictive power supposedly meaning that world is real in this particular instance.

4. No matter how many social media memes I see about it, we are not headed for the future depicted in The Hunger Games because A. comparing Trump to President Snow implies that the games have been going on for at least a generation (since he wasn’t the first president of Panem); B. For all I know, the statements that his election etc. is what led to the Hunger Games are just posts by supporters of his who want to keep us from rebelling to get him out of power by making us afraid that us trying to stop him is the rebellion that the Hunger Games are because of. C. Suzanne Collins would have to be either God/an avatar thereof (which blows Christianity all to hell), a precog (who for some reason hasn’t claimed the James Randi Foundation million-dollar prize) or a time traveler (and for some reason in our/their universe, time travel works so weirdly that her traveling back in time to publish the book didn’t change/potentially erase the future she came from and cause a paradox because it would do that even without anyone heeding its warnings) to explain the books’ simultaneous fictionality and reality; D. If a future regime (whether or not it’s his) decides they want to literally copy the dystopia depicted in The Hunger Games and that’s why it’s our future, they’d need to build in safeguards against the way the dystopia was taken down that aren’t completely obvious (e.g. illegalizing the name Katniss); E. That meme that seems to imply that the Hunger Games will start in 2018 overlooks the fact that in order for that to happen, everything including the institution of Panem/the district system and the rebellion would have to happen this year, and, unless that was the Trump administration’s goal, I don’t see that happening.

5. We do not live in the 1984 future because, A. Even if it could somehow exist as fiction in the past and reality in the future, it would be banned for being too subversive (and there would be no way that it would sell out like it’s done on Amazon because it wouldn’t be sold anywhere), B. The surveillance etc. isn’t as deep as people think it is and C. The parts of the future that are like 1984 were around long before Trump so he’s not to blame.

6. We do not live in Idiocracy not just because of the obvious things like not having a president who open carries assault weapons on his person at all times or a reality show called Ow! My Balls but because A. For reasons previously discussed in earlier points on this post, it is impossible for something to be a “documentary from the future” and still have that future have happened in reality, B. Just because we have a stupid president does not make him Camacho, and C. IQs are actually rising over time, look it up.

7. Not just the current storyline but any Magic: The Gathering storyline that has already been out can’t be an allegory for our current situation (though in the Magic The Gathering tag on my blog, there’s an interesting theory of mine as to how Earth could exist in that universe and still have that game exist) because A. The only villains in that universe who aren’t too smart to be compared to Trump are either that universe’s version of Elder Gods (who are actually somewhat too mindless to be compared to him) or weren’t villains of their own free will (which I doubt is the case with him unless the section of the conspiratard crowd that’s actually against him are right) and B. In order for the story to have been an allegorical prediction like a lot of people are saying, they would have had to know the election results beforehand and unless Wizards Of The Coast are actual wizards...

8. This is not Star Wars no matter who Trump is in that allegory because if he’s Vader, that means the only ones who can take him down are his long-lost twin children; a son who is living somewhere in the desert with distant relatives and loves to fly, and a daughter whose adoptive parents are either other politicians/royalty (of an opposite political alignment) or celebrities (because they are also kinda “royalty” of a sort) and if he’s Palpatine and we’re in the Revenge Of The Sith phase because Beyonce is pregnant with twins then I’m not sure which thing that “has to happen” (according to this metaphor) is more unlikely; either Jay-Z accepting a cabinet post or Kanye both being the father of the twins and the winner of the 2020 election, Beyonce dying in childbirth and her twins being given up for adoption (with one ending up among her fellow elite and one in some desert flyover state), or Trump (or whoever succeeds him) ruling until said twins are teens/young adults. 

9. This isn’t like Divergent for reasons that will be obvious if you’ve read the third book or seen the third movie but I refuse to mention them because I refuse to accept those particular plot twists as canon but also because the Trump administration isn’t smart enough to be Erudite or selfless enough to be Abnegation (the faction that actually made up most of the government in the Divergent universe)

10. This isn’t Brave New World not just because of the point I keep reiterating about sci-fi not being able to exactly exist as both fiction in the past and reality in the future in the same universe but because corporate-owned TV and lack of social mobility, while sucky, don’t equal biological castes and conditioning from “birth” and, while a lot of people are a bit too football-crazy for comfort, liking sports/games and/or pop culture shouldn’t be something worthy of shame and junk food/drugs, though bad for you in some respects, aren’t freaking soma!

11. This hopefully can’t be Harry Potter (or at least a similar universe) because that means that at best (if he’s the Umbridge in this metaphor with our country being Hogwarts) we have to set up some kind of shadow government that actually makes the decisions (as a DA parallel) while leaving him and his “Inquisitorial Squad” just a puppet government and at worst (if he’s the Voldemort in this metaphor) we have to track down all deaths he (whether directly or indirectly) caused and find out if there’s any scenarios where the parents were killed and a kid survives living with relatives (and if there’s multiple, choose the one that looks the most like a young him) and gradually guide that kid from a distance to achieve his destiny and make sure he gets into some exclusive private school where he ends up meeting his two best friends and saving the world from Trump pretty much every year before finally taking him down in seven years (after this hero kid has lost pretty much everyone he cares about who’s older than him and one or two people the same age).

12. This can’t be Game Of Thrones even though George RR Martin joked about having written 2016, and not just because it isn’t set in the past (although that would be cool yet sad if Game Of Thrones was our history and reality is just an endless chain of similar events occurring, say, once every couple centuries) but because we have far fewer than seven major political families competing for power and because he has been compared to so many characters from that series that if he were somehow all of them mashed up into one fulfilling multiple roles (which helps with the lack of families etc.), he would have killed himself by now (because he’s been compared to so many people that there’s a good chance one of them has killed another one of them) to fulfill the parallel

#anti idiocracy #1984 #anti brave new world #the hunger games #magic the gathering #back to the future #divergent #star wars #the simpsons #homestuck #anti trump #notmypresident #harry potter #game of thrones

[mtg-weekly-recap]

MTG Weekly Tumblr Recap - Volume 1, Issue 1

Wanted to doodle something silly!  Saheeli prob love cats <3 

Original art by @isharton | Please support them at their Patreon!

Welcome to the very first issue of the MTG Weekly Tumblr Recap of the new year! For those unfamiliar with what we do, the MTG Weekly Tumblr Recap is a gathering of some of the most notable posts and trends from within the MTG Tumblr community for a given week. For this issue, we will be covering the week of January 8, 2017 through January 14, 2017. If you are interested in joining our writing team, please PM any of our writers and we will add you to our Discord group chat.

1. Banned & Restricted Update Discussion

Original image posted by @sarkhan-volkswagen

Wizards of the Coast announced bannings this past week, and I can’t say I’m surprised. Emrakul, the Promised End, Smuggler’s Copter, and Reflector Mage were banned in Standard, while Modern bans were simply Gitaxian Probe and Golgari Grave-Troll. There have been mixed feelings about these bans: many people were annoyed and upset that their favourite cards were banned, while others were quite relieved.

Emrakul, the Promised End, the final titan to be released, and the first to be banned. According to WotC, Emrakul was “created to be scarily powerful,” and “delivered on that promise too well.” @ugin guessed that “if an Emrakul hit the field, I would guess that approximately 90% of the time that person would win.” Scarily powerful indeed, and this was made even more scary with cards like Aetherworks Marvel. As a counterpoint, @life-is-short-for-us said that it isn’t unbeatable, but didn’t suggest how to actually beat it. Instead, he simply said that for Standard, it isn’t about “banning cards that are too good, but banning cards that are so good they are damn near impossible to beat and your only hope is playing the mirror match and they are like 70% of the field.”

This brings us to our second card banned, Smuggler’s Copter. While I don’t play much Standard, this one annoyed the hell out of me, and now that it’s banned, I’m kinda relieved. For this one, Wizards says that it was in too many of the top decks and was restricting creativity. I agree, as does @queen-marchesa: “The one that is least surprising is the Copter. It really was too omnipresent in Standard to allow for exploration or creativity.” I have always thought that the Looter Scooter was too powerful for a turn-two artifact, which helped turn the format stale.

Our final Standard banning was Reflector Mage. There’s not much to say about this one, really, and I think it was one of the odder bannings. Wizards says that, “Our data showed the White-Blue Flash deck was too powerful against the field,and Reflector Mage has been on players' lists of most-disliked cards, since the days of Collected Company.” I suppose when you take down decks with Emrakul and Copter, W/U Flash would be the one to dominate. Tumblr users agreed, with one stating, “The card ended up being very effective in this format.” Others thought it was a surprising ban, but seeing that it’s stuck around for so long, “makes sense.”

As for the Modern bans, let’s start with Gitaxian Probe. This one is one of the least surprising to me, as it takes some skill out of the game. According to @jurou-tenshi, “Git probe has had it coming for a long time. It enabled too many degenerate strategies.” @avatar-of-woah states, “Probe’s actually a real issue in infect because it takes play skill out of the equation. Instead of trying to read your opponent and what they could have that would beat you, you just pay two life,” and proceed from there. According to @urzas-raven-armour, “With the probe ban, storm is even less playable now.” I would assume that this ban also hits Delver decks, but I don’t know enough about them.

The final ban released this week was Golgari Grave-Troll, and from what I have found, people are glad to see it go. One user said that “Dredge is a silly silly deck that has proven to be too powerful for Modern,” and with the Delve mechanic brought back in Khans of Tarkir, I agree. Golgari Grave-Troll is a creature with Dredge 6, and it enters the battlefield with counters equal to the number of creatures in the graveyard. You can also pay one generic mana and remove a counter to regenerate it. Now, that seems extremely powerful to me, especially in the late game, where you’ll most likely have a lot of creatures in your graveyard, but it is definitely the Dredge 6 that puts it over the top, enabling way too many graveyard shenanigans.

--- Connor S, @solemnly-mystifying

2. This Past Week’s Magic Story Review

Kari Zev - playing around with a doodle. | Original art by @sketchydoodles​

In this past week’s new Kaladesh Story “The Skies Over Ghirapur,” by Ari Levitch, we were introduced to the feisty teenage pirate captain, Kari Zev. In this story Kari Zev and Jace Beleren team up to assist the renegades, first by going on a heist to obtain aether, then to help the renegades take on the Skysovereign after they lost control of the Aether Hub in the story “Burn.”

The Tumblr community met this story with overwhelmingly positive reviews. The community adored the tenacity of Kari Zev and her sidekick, the monkey Ragavan. Tumblr user @zomburai claimed that the story was a delight. Others, like @abzanascendancy, were most excited about sky pirates. They also applauded Kari Zev for being 15, yet also being able to “pilot, command and crew her own ship.” Community members were even more excited about pirates then they were already, and some probably hope that a pirate-themed block will come along in the not-too-distant future.

With only three stories left in the Aether Revolt storyline, the MTGcommunity is anxiously waiting to see what happens next, with the Gatewatch’s final confrontation with Tezzeret and the Consulate, and what else that is in store for the plane of Kaladesh.

--- Chelsea W, @chelsea-beleren-vess

3. General Magic Story Discussion and Speculation

Deploy the Gatewatch | Original art by Wesley Burt

This week has been rife with Magic Story metadiscourse, from speculation for the future, to reflection on the past. Fans discussed Nissa’s shift toward tolerance in Magic Origins, and whether or not this made her a “Mary Sue”, prompting @commandtower-solring-go’s analysis of the term and its relationship to Magic [x]. On the other side, @chelsea-beleren-vess compiled potential points of civil war foreshadowing [x]

Prior to her Origins revision, Nissa, like most elves, believed that elves reigned superior over other races, and moreover her band of elves above even other elves. When her backstory was updated, these biases were no longer present. Lots of fans were upset by this. They missed their little racist, which is a little distressing, honestly. It’s important we ask ourselves why it’s so important for her to be hateful. This led one user to ask @markrosewater why the Gatewatch was composed of “Mary Sues.” By and large, “Mary Sue” is a term used to degrade a character for being all-powerful or infallible. This term really doesn’t describe the Gatewatch. Take Gideon, who was too proud and got his Irregulars killed, then repeated the mistake on Zendikar. Look at Jace --- neglectful of his duty as the Guildpact, and by even his own admission, annoying and pretentious as all hell. Liliana is, well, Liliana. Chandra has consistently been short-sighted and rash; she has consistently endangered the lives of the people she cares about, including the Gatewatch (see “In This Very Arena” and “Burn”). Nissa has been altoether aloof and unable to relate to her teammates, and was made to suffer immensely over the course of the Battle for Zendikar storyline.

Wizards could be setting the stage for a civil war within the Gatewatch, ala Marvel. In this hypothetical confrontation, Gideon leads one side, while Jace rallies his allies. Who will side with whom is anyone’s guess, but I’m personally partial to Chandra, Nissa, Gideon, and Ajani squaring off against Jace and Lili, but this is clouded by my distaste for Lili and her relationship with Jace, so take what I say with a grain of salt.

--- Nick D, @nick-dowdle-jeskai-judicator​

4. Incoming WoTC President Chris Cocks’ Digital Tease

Glimpse the Future | Original art by Andrew Robinson

Last Thursday, the President of Wizards of the Coast, Chris Cocks, released a public statement regarding the future of WotC’s IP, concentrating on the following points:

Reimagining digital versions of Magic and other Wizards games.

Bringing their characters and worlds to other games and experiences.

Making people’s Wizards experiences more efficient, connected, and convenient.

What most Tumblrs seemed to latch onto was the idea of Magic: the Gathering or Dungeons and Dragons branded video games, and many people wanted to share their thoughts on the matter.

@simic-initiate said, “I’ve no doubt irritated many friends by consistently insisting that Magic has a criminally underused mythos and cast of characters. Wizards does SO much world building each plane that just, hardly gets used again if ever.” [x]

@planeswalkerwithtardis suggests, “Persona JRPG with MtG characters as the personas, color combinations replace arcana. It would also hedge Wizard’s bets by crossing their customer base for that product with the ever hungry Persona fan base.” [x]

@youknowwhatscrewyou went a different direction: “I would love an mtg fighting game, similar to smash bros or something, so that is not too competitive and allows for some fun, crazy stuff.” [x]

@mixingmetaphorsoup also thinks MMOs are a hiding to nothing: “What? Throwing spells at a Planeswalker in an MMO? Surely you mean MOBA. As I’ve said before, Magic fits perfectly into a MOBA shell.” [x]

What video game genre do you think would make a good Magic game?

--- Liam W, @coincidencetheories

BONUS! “LILIANA VESS - MAGIC THE GATHERING.” Original art by @lunardays22

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Thank you again for reading this week’s issue of the MTG Weekly Tumblr Recap. If you are interested in contributing to the Recap, either by keeping track of notable posts and trends throughout the MTG community on a given week, or writing a short blurb on a specific topic, please PM our main editor @the-burnished-hart or any of our staff writers.

#mtgwtr #mtg weekly recap #mtg weekly tumblr recap #weekly tumblr recap #mtg recap #saheeli rai #isharton #felidar guardian #mtg banned list #b&r update #emrakul #smuggler's copter #reflector mage #gitaxian probe #golgari grave-troll #standard #modern #magic story #mtgaer #aether revolt #kari zev #ragavan #jace beleren #gatewatch #magic story speculation #liliana vess #chris cocks #mtg mmo

[decepticoncoward]

((More headcanon memes! This one you can find here.))

What does their bedroom look like? It’s messier than you’d think. Sure, it’s not an absolute disaster zone like some rooms in the WAP, but it’s still cluttered and disorganized. He’ll often have miscellaneous junk that he was tinkering with strewn about. Most of it just clutters his desk, but some spare parts will roll down onto the floor or get lost in his berth after he took them there to play with, but fell asleep before returning them. Most of his personal items are condensed into one drawer, but the whole room is littered with pictures.

Do they have any daily rituals? He always listens to hear someone else moving around the WAP (or wherever they are) before he goes into recharge. Their life can get pretty unpredictable and maintaining a ritual can be hard, but the one constant is that they usually go places together.

Do they exercise, and if so, what do they do? How often? Nope, at least not in any organized way. If the Scavengers find themselves running away from the hostile native species that they probably pissed off on a planet then, sure, there’s that, but Cybertronians don’t really need exercise the same way people do anyway.

What would they do if they needed to make dinner but the kitchen was busy? He’d just shove his way in and start cooking. That’s how it’s done on the WAP. He’s actually a good cook and baker too.

Cleanliness habits (personal, workspace, etc.) Not grimy or dirty, but overall disorganized. He generally keeps things cleaned, like wiping up any spills or washing the dirt off, and he doesn’t mix food with his stuff. Crumbs are irritating to clean out. But as for Neatness? There’s not a lot in him. Data pads get strew over desks, parts knocked to the floor, bed is rumpled. He jumps from project to project a lot.

Eating habits and sample daily menu He’s not very organized with this either. He mostly cooks and eats whenever he’s hungry, not at any specified time. And, despite being a good cook, he usually opts for something quick and easy to make. Sometimes he’ll take into onto the couch in the other room or somewhere more comfortable/private, but he always cleans up after himself; crumbs are annoying. As for what he eats, it’s not really how you can use energon for cooking, but what he eats would mostly be the equivalent of energy drinks and instant rice.

Favorite way to waste time and feelings surrounding wasting time As far as Fulcrum’s concerned, there is no wasting time. This is what he wants to be doing, and every second he’s doing this is time well spent in his book. Seeing new places with the Scavengers is good with him, no matter the place. However, he is pretty anxious over the concept of wasting time. He doesn’t want to throw away what little time has been gifted to him. He’s usually level headed and will be the one pitching to stay longer at a place he thinks is cool or mysterious. Plus, even just spending time lounging around with the other Scavengers is good with him. But as soon as something gets repetitive or they visit a place he doesn’t care about (like Earth), he gets restless fast.

Favorite indulgence and feelings surrounding indulging He loves to indulge. That’s what life’s for, right? Might as well enjoy it while you can. One of his indulgences is hogging the TV to watch comedy shows.

Makeup? He doesn’t wear it. They are called the Scavengers, after all, The name conjures up certain images, might as well embrace it instead of prettying up. Besides, he doesn’t like covering up his K-Class markings.

Neuroses? Do they recognize them as such? Some PTSD from his time in Styx as well as having to face his own death as a K-Class. And there’s some guilt and shame at having run from B’lhar 39, especially leaving behind a few who was close to there. They ended up dying in the ensuing fight. And some paranoia about the DJD eventually finding them, but he’d claim that’s not paranoia if he knows it’s going to happen sooner or later. Usually he doesn’t think about these things, but was reminded of them after Krok came clean about his clicking.

Intellectual pursuits? He’s mostly interested in engineering. He likes to tinker around with things and see what he can do. It’s a nice way to pass the time too. But if he’s serious about something, he’ll bulk up with research. Whatever data pads pertaining to this field that they come by are claimed by him. He rarely takes on big, long-term projects, though. And he has no interest in pursuing a formal education.

Favorite book genre? He loves science fiction! The wonders of the Universe entrance him. But, all the frankly mind-blowing, improbable things he’s seen with the Scavengers are probably closer to fantasy than sci-fi. Like I said before, he also likes engineering, so any non-fiction books on that he enjoys too.

Sexual Orientation? And, regardless of own orientation, thoughts on sexual orientation in general? Fulcrum is open to anyone as long as they’re not organic; however, he has a strong preference towards Cybertronians and a preference for simple frames that aren’t over-embellished. He doesn’t care what a bot’s orientation is as long as their attraction stays within the Cybertronian species. After that, if their attraction strays too far from what he considers “normal,” he’ll judge them hard for that. This is especially true when it comes to relationships/attraction to organic species. He finds that downright weird and even revolting, if the species is gross enough to him.

Physical abnormalities? (Both visible and not, including injuries/disabilities, long-term illnesses, food-intolerances, etc. Since he’s K-Class and his explosive charge has been removed, his atlmode is useless. He might as well be a monoformer because of this. There’s no point in transforming into a dud bomb unless you’re trying to bluff, but, chances are, they’re gonna figure out his bluff pretty quickly after he hits the ground and, you know, doesn’t explode. He also doesn’t have any interfacing equipment, and his spark chamber’s been welded shut. Honestly, I don’t really think transformers have interfacing equipment in canon, but, at the very least, it’s a popular idea in fanon, so I’m using this headcanon. I got that headcanon straight from this lovely fic. As Fulcrum puts it in that fic, he was made K-Class as a punishment, they don’t want him living it up before the big jump. This part’s not taken from that fic, but for that same reason his fuel intake moderation chip has been permanently enabled. So, he can’t get drunk. He can also be considered a bit of a germophobe when it comes to organics and their “fluids.”

Biggest and smallest short term goal? He just wants to cram as much adventure, fun, and mystery into his life while he still can. A day where he’s with the Scavengers, avoids the DJD, and sees something new is a success to him. Hell, he doesn’t even have to see something new. Spending all day lounging on the couch watching reruns of old, pre-war sitcoms is okay with him too.

Biggest and smallest long term goal? This is a tough one for Fulcrum. He doesn’t have any long term goals because he doesn’t expect to have a “long term.” For now, he’s trying to enjoy whatever life throws at him while he still has one. If he believed he had a future, his long term goals wouldn’t be too different than what he’s doing now. He genuinely enjoys exploring all the bizarre wonders of the universe with the Scavengers. He’s seen a lot of weird things in his adventures with the Scavengers, but he’d like to stick around longer and really understand these weird things, not just experience. He wants to unravel a mystery. He considers this a far-fetched hope, but he’d also love to find some way to stop or kill or hide from the DJD. It’s not a hope he often entertains, though.

Preferred mode of dress and rituals surrounding dress Cybertronians don’t really “dress.” The closest he gets to this is just draping a blanket around himself when he gets cold. Or using his holomatter avatar with a species that does get dressed. His outfit would look like something some wear and tear in it in that case. Cybertronians can spruce up their frame and change their colors, though; however, Fulcrum prefers to stay as he is.

Favorite beverage? When he became K-Class, they permanently enabled his fuel intake moderation chip, just to make sure he knew this was a punishment and couldn’t live it up before the jump. Because of that, high grade has no effect on him, so he doesn’t bother drinking it. His favorite of drinks are any type of fizzy, cold drinks. It’s that little, extra, over-the-top touch that he likes.

What do they think about before falling asleep at night? On a good night? Fantasizing about whatever their latest mystery/adventure was and what it could all mean. On a bad night? When the DJD will catch them, what the DJD will do to them all once they catch them, what happened in Styx, falling towards the ground as a K-Class, stuff like that.

Childhood illnesses? Any interesting stories behind them? “Childhood” isn’t something Cybertronians have, and it’s certainly nothing Fulcrum had. The Decepticon movement was going hot and looked promising, so he jumped right into the war soon after being forged. He never even left the planet before he joined. He would have been somewhere between the lower-middle caste anyway. But first planet he went on to cyberform, he stepped in the wrong puddle and nearly rusted off his foot.

Turn-ons? Turn-offs? I’m assuming this means sexually? If that’s the case, haha, well this is a biiiiiiit awkward for him since he doesn’t really have an outlet for stuff like that. So he doesn’t try to explore what his turns-ons are since it would just end in frustration for him. But if he did? His turn-ons are whispering, dirty talk, and bondage and his turn-offs are tentacles and anything to do with food.

Given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen? If he has a little project he’s tinkering with, maybe sketching it out. But, most likely, some doodling and then folding up the paper into shapes.

How organized are they? How does this organization/disorganization manifest in their everyday life? Like I said, he’s not very organized. He likes to try to do as much as he can, so he’s often throwing things to the side and starting something new. Projects in varying stages of completeness can be found all around the WAP and his quarters. He also does a similar thing with places, getting all he can from one planet as fast as he can before hopping to another, but that’s also the nature of traveling in the WAP in the first place.  If he had more time to devote to one project, he’d be more organized, trying to complete it to its full potential. As it is, though, he doesn’t often take on big projects like that.

Is there one subject of study that they excel at? Or do they even care about intellectual pursuits at all? Engineering small devices and machines is what he’s interested in most. He’s previous altmode would make him good with larger scale construction, but he doesn’t have that altmode anymore. But he never had any formal education, and he’s not interested in getting one now.

How do they see themselves 5 years from today? Best case scenario: Still aboard the WAP with the Scavengers just living life. Most probable scenario: Dead at the hands of the DJD along with all the other Scavengers.

Do they have any plans for the future? Any contingency plans if things don’t workout? Yeah, again, Fulcrum doesn’t expect to have much of a future. In his mind, the DJD will catch up with them eventually, so he doesn’t have a long term. He wants a long term, but he’s not optimistic about it. One thing he’d really like, though, is to go back and find out what was really going on in that Decepticon ship they found before the DJD showed up. In his mind, when the DJD show up his one, last-ditch hope is to have a real bomb to use against them. He’s hoping that after their last encounter, they won’t be expecting explosives to work. But since he’s not expecting to make it, he’d really need a contingency plan for if he did survive. He doesn’t have one, other than stick with the Scavengers if they’re okay too. If they’re not okay? Then he’s really lost.

What is their biggest regret? Probably leaving his amica endura and friends behind when he bailed on B’lahr 39. At the time, he would regret abandoning the Decepticons and the Decepticon cause, but not anymore. He also regrets not acting in time to save Flywheels.

Who do they see as their best friend? Their worst enemy? The Scavengers are all his friends. Out of all of them, though, he’s closest to Krok and Misfire. The DJD would be the obvious answer for his worst enemy, but enemy seems to imply a mutual hatred. The DJD certainly think lowly of Fulcrum, but he’s no threat to them. He’s not someone they’d consider a great enemy. He’s made quite a few other enemies with the Scavenger’s shenanigans, though, but most of them he doesn’t give a second thought. But he’ll never forget the mech he had his ruthless DDR showdown with (Fulcrum won).

Reaction to sudden extrapersonal disaster (eg The house is on fire! What do they do?) He’s pretty good at keeping his head on straight. He may be yelling about what a disaster something is, but he’ll be yelling while he’s doing something about it, even if that something surrendering or running away. He doesn’t panic the way he did when the DJD first showed up. He’s faced them, and now he’s a bit reckless with his life. Things don’t incite that fear and panic the way the DJD did to him.

Reaction to sudden intrapersonal disaster (eg close family member suddenly dies) This is harder for him to deal with. The Scavenger’s mean a lot to him, and he’s gonna do what it takes to keep them together and keep them happy, even if that’s fighting to keep Grimlock with them or going to Earth to meet Crankcase’s internet boyfriend. He’s pretty open about discussing other people’s mental health, and was pretty forth coming about his past. He’d try to reach out to the other Scavengers to talk about it, but not all of them would be willing to have a serious discussion about that.

Most prized possession? He doesn’t have that many possessions. Everything from before he was a K-Class is lost. He likes to remember his adventures with the Scavengers through pictures. His DDR champion cup bestowed on him by the Scavengers is up there, though. He was also able to snag a bit of his explosive charge from Spinster.

Thoughts on material possessions in general? He enjoys experiences more than owning possessions. He does, however, like saving little objects as ways to remember the experience. He’s really big on pictures because of this, he has loads of pictures saved internally and thrown around his room. I’ve mentioned this a lot before, but because he believes it’s only a matter of time before the DJD kill him, he doesn’t feel the need to collect many possessions. The Scavengers already have so much junk aboard their ship anyway, though, so he’s okay with throwing spare parts about. If the threat of the DJD wasn’t an issue, though, he would collect weird objects both as a knickknack to remember the experience by and as something to study and unravel. He also enjoys rummaging through the junk the Scavengers have collected to see what’s there and what can be made from it. He enjoys tinkering.

Concept of home and family? He would have called the Decepticons home before. And he had close friends before Styx. He had an amica endua. But after he was convicted of cowardice, he lost all those things. Now, though, he has a new familiy and home he’s intensely loyal to. He didn’t expect to develop these strong feelings after first meeting the Scavengers either, but, after spending so much time with them, he has. They’re his family and the WAP is his home. They’re an odd, cobbled together group of misfits, but they’re loyal to each other, and they sure as hell care about each other.

Thoughts on privacy? (Are they a private person, or are they prone to ‘TMI’?) There’s not a lot of privacy aboard the WAP. He’s learned to adapt to this and got used to the fact that almost nothing he does on that ship is a secret. He won’t casually blurt out personal or “tmi” things, but if the subject arises or someone asks, he’s not shy about sharing. A handful of subjects aren’t discussed, like his friends he abandoned or the details of what went on in Styx, at least not casually anyway. But, he does value the time he can spend alone in his room. If anything, the lack of privacy on the WAP only made him appreciate this more. Sometimes it’s nice to meditate alone.

What activities do they enjoy, but consider to be a waste of time? There isn’t a lot Fulcrum considers a waste of time. Even sitting, eating on the couch can be wonderful to him, as long as they’re moving on the WAP. Only when they're stuck on doing the same thing over and over without any new payoff does he get restless. Sight-seeing, exploring, shopping are all fun to him. A repetitive job would be a waste of time to him. He USED to consider vandalizing Autopedia a waste of time, but Misfire proved him wrong there,

What makes them feel guilty? Feeling like he failed or let down someone he cares about. Betraying someone he cared about would/does really eat away at him. And, sure the Scavengers aren’t exactly lawful, but cruelly taking advantage of someone is on his list too.

Are they more analytical or more emotional in their decision-making? He’s more emotional. Although he does think things through, it’s usually emotions that motivate him. He jumped to protect the Scavengers, he advocated for Grimlock to be a part of the Scavengers, he jumped at Thunderwing so he, Krok, and Crankcase could run away, etc. 

Would they consider themselves a Type A or Type B personality? Type B. He’s not competitive or aggressive, and usually follows, not leads. He’s patient and can adapt to changing situations. He’s okay with exploring and failing. However, he can be too dismissive of his failures and let them pile up until he gets stressed and overwhelmed with a sense that he’s wasting his time.

What recharges them when they’re feeling drained? Hanging out on the couch with the other Scavengers can be a fun, chill time, but even they can get a little much, and he could use some time alone. Hot showers are cleansing. Fidgeting around with some parts is also relaxing. He’s not building anything, just using his hands.

Would you say that they have a superiority-complex? Inferiority-complex? Neither? Both? He views the Cybertronian race as a whole as superior. But himself personally? In comparison to other Cybertronians? He’s no one important and shouldn’t even be alive anyway.

How misanthropic are they? Hah! He’s as human-hating as they come! Humans are disgusting, stupid, and overall inferior beings as far as Fulcrum’s concerned. But is he misanthropic in terms of Cybertronians (cyberthropic?)? When comparing Cybertronians to other species? No. He doesn’t dislike Cybertronians at all. It’s quite the opposite really. As I mentioned before, he views them as the superior race. But when comparing Cybertronians to themselves? He’s disappointed how a lot of them lost their way sometime during the war (like the DJD), but knows there’s still good in the Cybertronian species (like the Scavengers).

Hobbies? I mentioned it before, but he likes tinkering with things and playing with technology. He can fix up machines and computers and scrabble together some devices fairly well. Since the WAP is littered with junk, he has some fun digging through it an seeing what he can make. He also likes to tune into different frequnecies and see what random transmissions he can pick up. It’s kind of like flipping through the local radio stations. Sometimes it’s fun stuff like music or half of someone’s gossip, sometimes it’s banal stuff like requests to dock or a manifest of a ship’s cargo, and sometime’s it depressing stuff like a year-old distress signal or a hastily sent goodbye message. He also love adventuring. Exploring adandoned ships? Decoding creepy cryptic messages? Walking around a ship full of brains, skin, and partially formed cybertronians? He eats that shit up. He’s also quite the dancer.

How far did they get in formal education? What are their views on formal education vs self-education? He never had a formal education. He didn’t bother to get one before the war, and he’s not gonna bother to get one now. He thinks a formal education is unnecessary to living a full life and, at least right now, he’d rather be out, learning as he experiences things, rather than stopping his life to go to a school.

Religion? He doesn’t have one. No god out there is gonna save him or stop bad things from happening. If there is one, they’re not watching over him. He’ll make his own life.

Superstitions or views on the occult? He’s not superstitious, but he’s not dismissive of the occult either. He’s open to the existence of pretty much anything, but he’ll view it in a more scientific light. Sure gods, ghosts, and myths can exist, but there’s gotta be an explanation behind them too.

Do they express their thoughts through words or deeds? Words. He has no qualms about voicing his opinion, and usually confronts people when he notices something is up. He doesn’t seem to shy away from sensitive subjects or get embarrassed about talking about things like feelings or mental health. He can put a little too much faith in his ability to use words, though.

If they were to fall in love, who (or what) is their ideal? Misfire. Hah, okay, my shameless shipping aside, someone to be by his side and share in his excitement is who he’d fall for. And, someone who not only enjoys their adventures, but creates more would be ideal. He’d also strongly prefer a Cybertronian. He’s also a massive sucker for people who show genuine concern in his well being. 

How do they express love? Fulcrum’s a talker. He’ll be sure to charm the person with frank compliments. He also goes out of his way to help them out if something means a lot to them, even if it’s an inconvenience to him. Like how he made goodies and flew to Earth so Crankcase could meet his internet boyfriend. He also reaches out to them if they’ve been acting weird, like he did with Krok. Basically what I’m saying is he loves the Scavengers and shows it.

If this person were to get into a fist fight, what is their fighting style like? He’s not much of a fist fighter. He’s not that big, and he’s pretty light, so he could easily get overwhelmed if it was just a contest of strength. His tactics are more stun then run: hit the opponent with a sudden, big attack then flee once they’re stunned.

Is this person afraid of dying? Why or why not? Fulcrum’s kind of a paradox with this one. The short answer is yes, he’s terrified of dying. He doesn’t want to die. It’s not that he’s afraid of what will happen to him after he dies, it’s that he’s had so little time to live (by his standards anyway), and, now that he’s enjoying life, he doesn’t want it to end. However, Fulcrum acts like he’s not afraid of dying. To him, dying is guaranteed, and it could spring on him at any moment. Because he views his life as so expendable and temporary, he’ll act unafraid in dangerous situation and take risks. To an outside observer, it’d look like Fulcrum is unconcerned whether he lives or dies. In a way, he is. The way he views it, he’s going to die either way, but at least maybe he can die on his own terms, doing something he loves and by the people he loves. It’d certainly be a less painful death than the one he’d receive by the DJD, that’s for sure. He won’t throw his life away, and likes to go in with a plan, he’s just okay if that plan is riding into certain danger.

#ooc #headcanon #meme