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pomegranates-and-blood · 3 years

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Love, fear, peace.

My Masterlist

Pairing: Ivar/Reader

Summary: “I wanted to request an imagine where the reader and Ivar have a 4-5 year old daughter. And while Ivar is usually very cruel, he'll do anything for his little princess. And she asks to paint his nails and have him join her for a tea party, so he does, as long as it's a secret between them but the reader ends up seeing them and her thoughts on it? I'm in a big mood to read Ivar fluff”

Word Count: 2.6k

Warnings: A lil bit of angst, my best attempt at fluff, just soft stuff all around, probably ooc

A/N: My friends, may I interest you in an AU where all five sons of Ragnar are alive and happy? We call it ‘denial’ where I’m from, but yeah, in this universe they’re all alive, Sigurd married off to some Saxon Princess, Ubbe in Dublin, Ivar King of Kattegat and Hvitserk with him with a family of his own goddamit, Björn fuck-knows-where avoiding commitment like he was born to do, and that’s it. Ta-da.

Ástríðr is a name derived from the Old Norse elements áss "god" and fríðr "beautiful, beloved"

Taglist: (If you wanna be added or removed lemme know!) @youbloodymadgenius @xbellaxcarolinax @1950schick @ietss @peachyboneless @encounterthepast @maggiescarborough @chibisgotovalhalla @receptionistfromhell

Hvitserk greets you with a kiss on your cheek, and you thank the gesture with a smile, though your eyes are scanning the main hall.

“Where’s Ivar?” You ask as he walks at your side, greeting a few people with false smiles and courteous nods.

Hvitserk only shrugs, “I thought he was with you.”

“No, we were supposed to talk with one of the earls about the effect of a high tide, but he wasn’t there.”

“And how was it?”

“Dull,” You reply sincerely, “But I have an idea of where my husband is.”

The other man betrays a smile, “Can you blame him? It is hard to say no to her.”

Oh, you know that. She has him -and you- powerless to deny her anything since she first came to this world.

Try as he might to deny it, to keep the idea of the ruthless king that loves nothing alive, to mantain the façade of how nothing makes Ivar the Boneless falter; your daughter is an adorable force to be reckoned with, capable of making even the King of Kattegat surrender.

It is no secret, for you or any soul that encounters your husband, that Ivar loves his family, his wife and daughter, like nothing else.

The world will never forget the battles he’s won and lost, the wars he started, the kingdoms he reduced to ash, the lands he conquered. The world will never forget of all he did in the name of his ambition, in the name of his fame.

But the world will never forget what he did in the name of love either. Countless deals made, countless fights, countless plans devised and even more sacrifices made so that he could grant his daughter the safeties she deserved; so that he can give her the world and, when time comes, have her step sure, knowing the very earth and the very skies are hers.

You don’t know how much time has passed when you blink past the sleep that weighs on your lids. You find yourself as you were, resting comfortably on a seat that has progressively become just a pile of pillows and furs since the start of winter.

You still feel the comfortable weight of Ivar’s head on your lap, and you can make out his voice speaking quietly. Looking down you find him talking to the small bump on your stomach, the evidence of your child growing inside of you.

At the feeling of your fingers running through his hair, Ivar looks up and offers you a smile, before scooting even closer to your stomach.

“Tell your mother to go back to sleep. You and I aren’t done talking, Princess.”

A part of you is tempted to taunt him about how the might Ivar the Boneless is so smitten by a child not even born yet, but you choose instead to bask in the softness in his expression, in the happiness that curves his mouth.

Still, after a few moments, you offer, “They could be a Prince. Ivarsson.”

Your husband hums, presses a kiss against your stomach and settles again on his back with his head on your lap.

“We will have sons, I know,” He tells you, smile faint as he closes his eyes, “But first, we will have a daughter.

He speaks with such certainty that you cannot help but huff a laugh. Still, it is a nice thought, to have a Princess to call your own, a little girl, blessed by the Gods.

“She will be just like her mother, and she will be ours to spoil and take care of.”

“You speak as if you wouldn’t spoil our sons, Ivar. Someone else might believe that lie, but not me.” You tease, eyebrows lifted.

“Mhm, but a father grows jealous of his sons, and their fame, their triumphs.”

“No daughter of mine, or of yours, will be content without her own triumphs and conquests.”

“I know,” He replies without hesitation, proud smile widening and eyes opening to gaze up at you, “Like I said, she’ll be just like her mother.”

It was never a secret, a surprise, for you to witness Ivar love your child before she was even born; to feel his joy and his anticipation and his love in the way he spoke of that daughter you’d have, and all the sons and daughters that would come after.

You learned to love him years ago, and found beneath the cruelty and venom and bloodthirst a man that loves intensely, that willingly gave his heart to you to keep safe the day he made you his wife. So his love doesn’t surprise you, his devotion to his family doesn’t make you falter.

There were still many things that made you falter, that made you see everything with new eyes, during those months while you carried Ástríðr and in the years you’ve been fortunate enough to have her.

One of them was how the sons of Aslaug, much to your surprise and despite all their other failings, had been raised to be utterly devoted to their families. Hvitserk was almost giddy at the possibility of a niece or nephew that he could keep close to him, unlike Ubbe’s children all the way in Dublin. Ubbe, always the father figure, visited more than once and kept watchful eyes not only on you and his brother, but on everything, as if from Dublin he could look over all of you like he did while growing up. To your surprise, even Sigurd, past the animosity between him and Ivar -and all the disagreements he has had with you over the years, of course- sent word from Northumbria wishing you three the protection of the Gods.

Another of those discoveries, sadly not as heartwarming, was to witness the burden your husband carried and not being able to do anything about it. The more easily-soothed fears, like what your daughter would think of him, or whether she would be born healthy, were quietened by your voice promising him over and over that any child of yours would love him like no other, or by the soft kicks of your daughter against where his palm rested on your stomach, making tears shine in Ivar’s eyes every time.

There were deeper fears, and fears that plagued you too, that you couldn’t so easily soothe. The whisper in the back of his mind that happiness is nothing, that everything you love eventually you lose, that all his cruel ways and his mistakes would one day cost him what he holds dear. The blue eyes of the man you love, so used to seeing what others cannot, so used to planning ahead and seeing the world like his enemy does, seeing a world where at any time his fame and his conquests could cost him your life or your daughter’s.

For a man as cruel and vicious as Ivar, it is easy to forget he is not something otherworldly, some demon like the Christians say, some beast like your own countrymen claim. Sometimes, in all his rage and all his chaos, it is easy to forget he is a husband, a father, a man.

And like any man with a beating heart, especially a heart so wholly owned by his wife and daughter; Ivar fears.

Ástríðr blinks big and strikingly blue eyes, and you smile widely, unable to keep yourself from bringing your daughter closer and pressing a kiss on her head, delighting yourself in the familiar and comforting smell of your baby.

“Good morning, little one.” You whisper, and she coos in response, as if she understands.

“Is she…is she alright?” Ivar asks, moving closer to you and looking at her over your shoulder.

“Of course she is,” You smile down at your daughter, your finger tapping the tip of her tiny nose. “Our beautiful girl, she’s more than alright. She’s perfect.”

“She was…coughing.”

“That’s something babies do, Ivar, she’s fine.” You reassure him, only slightly bothered by the fact that he woke you up because your daughter coughed. You adjust your grip on Ástríðr, let her nuzzle against the column of your throat and find her sleep again.

Ivar drops his head to your shoulder, sighing against your skin and laying quite a bit of his weight on you. You sit there, your daughter against you and your husband letting you hold him up as he releases a tension you didn’t realize was there, and feel a pang of something in your heart.

After a few moments, you hold back a sigh, you try biting back your worry, and whisper, “You should sleep, love.”

“Mhm,” Ivar mumbles, but it is an argument, even if he doesn’t find the words to voice it yet. “Later.”

He has taken the awful habit of not sleeping at night. Each night when you settle in bed with Ástríðr nestled close to you, and Ivar holds you both close in his embrace; he remains awake, vigilant and expectant, watching the shadows for ghosts and enemies. You’ve noticed him faltering during the day, worsening his pain by not letting himself rest like should.

And it has only been worse since Hvitserk has been gone.

You know there are few people Ivar trusts fully, even fewer he entrusts the safety of his wife and daughter to. With just being here, Hvitserk granted his brother a peace nothing else can, a certainty that there was someone’s back to lean his own against, a promise that he could lower his guard and rest assured he wasn’t alone.

It is just a matter of days before Hvitserk returns, but you refuse to let Ivar run himself ragged.

So, you use your and not holding Ástrídr to wrap around his waist, and slowly move the three of you, as well as you can manage, back to lay on the bed.

With a slightly startled breath Ivar opens his eyes, focuses almost frantically on you and Ástríðr. You sigh again, but make use of the loss of his weight against you to settle against the pillows, holding your daughter better against your chest, your hand covering her back and holding her gently.

When you’re certain she’s comfortable, you lift your free arm and run your fingers through Ivar’s hair.

“You’ll rest.” You order, your eyes on your husband’s. He wants to argue, you know he does, a war between exhaustion and stubbornness, but it seems the pull is strong enough to even make him cave.

Ivar settles on your opposite shoulder from your daughter, his hand warm and rough as it settles over yours on her back. You chase tension off his back by running your hand up and down his back, and as both he and your daughter sleep safe and warm against you, you allow yourself a whisper of gratitude to the Gods.

You never knew what the Seer had meant when he told you so many years ago that ‘he can only use one hand and chooses to hold the sword, and for that you’ll need to hold the shield’, but now, as you hold your world close against you, you dare think that you understand the Ancient One’s words.

Eventually, the fear of something stealing her in the middle of the night passes. It always returns, that irrational fear he has that he will lose it all, that frantic paranoia that if he doesn’t plan, if he doesn’t prepare, they will take you both from him.

But as Ástríðr grows healthy and lively, the fears dwindle, or maybe they just change. And for a man that scorned the very uttering of the word, Ivar finds peace.

Through the halls, you follow the familiar sound of Ivar’s war cry, though quieter, and the adorable giggles of your daughter. Walking into your rooms, you make sure to remain hidden as you watch Ivar on the floor, holding himself up on his arms, mocking a taunt towards your daughter, daring the little shieldmaiden to attack.

A part of you is glad that this is a secret, a side of your husband, of your family, that the world will never know of. The world needn’t know of how easily Ástríðr makes her mother and father cave to her every wish, the world needn’t know of how fiercely and uncondicionally she is loved; only she needs to know of it, andn you and Ivar have made sure she lives a life knowing how loved she is.

You lean your shoulder on a pillar near the door, arms crossed over your chest but still betraying a smile.

Ástríðr brandishes a wooden sword at her father, big eyes strikingly alike Ivar’s when she focuses and finds her determination.

“I will defeat you!” She exclaims, the seriousness in her expression making your chest warm.

“You’re just a shieldmaiden, you can’t defeat me!” Ivar replies without missing a beat, faking a monster’s swipe with a hand that tries grabbing at her small foot.

Your daughter jumps out of the way with a squeal, but quickly furrows her brow adorably and lifts her chin, stubborn and arrogant.

Gods, Ivar is right, she looks so much like you.

“I am Ástríðr Ivarsdottir, I’ll always win!”

“Ah, you will, won’t you?” Ivar teases, letting go of the role of whatever beast he was supposed to be, grabbing onto your daughter and falling on his back with her in his arms, lifting the girl up and making her giggle. “Mighty shieldmaiden you’ll be, my sweet.”

“I know.” She replies without hesitation, startling a laugh out of you.

Two pairs of blue eyes turn to you, and Ástríðr wastes no time in calling out for you, squirming her way out of her father’s grasp and skipping towards you.

You kneel on the ground and welcome your daughter’s enthusiastic embrace, even if it was only this morning you last saw her.

“Did you defeat him, little one?” You ask her, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.

“Of course I did, mama.” She replies, almost offended. Of course, look whose daughter you’re asking about a victory in battle, imaginary or not.

You catch Ivar’s eyes and whatever intent you had on chastising him for leaving you to deal with the earl alone vanishes at the softness in his gaze at he looks at you both.

Not many know of Ivar the Boneless’ love. Even fewer know of his fear.

But there’s only a few lucky ones that have seen his happiness, his peace.

You two share a look, a look that speaks not only of gratefulness for one another, but of gratefulness for this perfect blend of the two of you, of your stubbornness and his drive, of his eyes and your hair.

Ivar betrays a small smile and his eyes go to the discarded wooden sword at his side.

“Oi, shieldmaiden!” He calls out, and Ástríðr turns to him without hesitation. “You never leave your weapon behind. It is the one thing, besides your mother and me, that you can trust blindly in this world.”

Ivar motions for the sword, and your daughter dutifully goes to pick it up, only to be ambushed on the way, Ivar’s eyes trapping her to his chest.

She is startled, and lets out a loud and adorable laugh as her father once again drops to the furs at his back, his smile blinding.

“You see? If you’d had your sword, no monster would have gotten you.”

Ástríðr grumbles an argument, but Ivar only snorts a laugh. His eyes lift to yours, and he lifts his hand, calling for the touch of yours, calling for you to join them.

You sigh, but still walk to them and stretch on the furs near the fire, accepting the embrace Ivar offers you when he lifts his free arm.

You nuzzle your nose against his throat, reaching with your hand and taming Ástríðr’s wild hair.

“Do you think one day I could defeat a dragon, like the warriors you tell me about?”

“Mhm, of course. You’ll be the most famous shieldmaiden who has ever lived.” He promises her, pressing a kiss against her hair, his arm tightening and trying to bring you closer even if it is impossible.

___

I struggled a lot writing this, I don’t really know why bc it was a lovely request. I tried my best :)

I hope you liked this, lovely anon! And I’m sorry it took me so long to get it done! I love you!!

#ivar the boneless x reader #ivar x reader #ivar the boneless imagine #ivar the boneless #ivar

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proudfreakmetarusonniku · 3 years

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Can we get more fae!Dream and witch!Tommy?

Of course! :)

Tommy is one of the few who know the hidden secrets of witchcraft, having learnt them ever since a strange musician found him after his “parents” left him in the woods to die. Ever since then, he’d learnt the ways of magic from a man far more ancient than he appeared.

Everyone knew the forest was fae territory, most of it anyway, and the small family were one of the few humans who ever dared step foot into them. Humans might not even have been correct- Philza's eyes had the brightness seen in those fae-touched, and Tommy had started to doubt the feathered wings that sprung from his back were human magic in origin, and he was pretty fucking suspicious the giant pink haired man with piglike ears and blood red eyes that avoided iron like the plague and had seemingly no sense of morality might just flat out be a fucking full blooded fae, which was… terrifying, but he supposed the fact he was undyingly loyal to Philza was a comfort.

Tommy had grown up being taught the dangers of the fae. Never telling anyone your true name was something he learnt alongside not touching hot stoves. He probably wouldn’t have, anyway- Tommy a nickname for some pretentious Greek myth name Wilbur so cruelly gave him- but knowing the dangers giving it brought sobered him. No one in the little family gave their true names except to each other, and even then it was so seldom spoken that you could believe the winged man was truly called Philza, the fae (?) Technoblade, Wilbur really bore the last name Soot.

While Philza's magic lay in the animals that populated the forest, Techno's illusion and glamour, and Wilbur's in the tunes he made with his guitar and his voice, what Tommy was adept was in the art of brewing potions. Unfortunately, all the best herbs and reagents lay in the areas carved out by the fae. Tommy was fine with that normally, honestly. His potions did their job even if they weren’t the best.

That was, until Wilbur, his beloved big brother Wilbur, came down with a fever sure to kill, leaving him pale and clammy like a living ghost, drowsy and confused and distressed on the rare occasions he was awake, hair paling from black in locks. None of what Philza and Technoblade's magic could heal a malady this strong, nor could any mundane medicines. Yet, Tommy had heard rumours of a rare flower blooming deep in fae territory, able to brew potions able to heal even illnesses this dire.

So it was with a heavy heart and great fear Tommy entered the dangerous areas of the forest that skirted the boundaries of real and fake, with the singleminded devotion of saving his brother.

Meanwhile, the de-facto ruler of the forest, a powerful fae going by Dream, became aware of a human entering his territory for the first time in so many millennia. They’d stopped coming after he’d claimed the last one, a mortal assassin who gave up his true name too quickly and become his foreverafter. George was more interesting than most mortals like that, ones he’d toy with and let perish from boredom. Despite his lack of knowledge of the fae, he was useful in his assassination skills and interesting to converse with, so he’d kept him. He still cried almost every night for his long-dead family, which was wonderfully amusing.

Either the new human was stupid enough to go into fae territory or ignorant enough that they didn’t know what they were getting into. Either way, he assumed the mortal was one of the boring ones he’d play with for a few weeks before leaving to perish. He sent off the young faun Tubbo and sylph Ranboo to deal with the mortal, while observing him in case he was smart enough to escape a confrontation with inexperienced fae.

Tommy was more than adept to brush through the awkward tricks of the young fae, avoiding their offerings and honeyed words, and managing to trick them into revealing the area of the mythic flowers by the knowledge fae must always repay a favour. The two of them always seemed to occasionally be around a corner for the rest of his journey, gaining an interest in this strange clever mortal, but not as much as their leader Dream ever did.

The flowers were in the grove of Hannah, a powerful dryad, though Tommy was unaware of this. However, Dream was, and he knew he couldn’t allow Tommy to arrive there- Hannah hated people picking her flowers, and there’s no way this interesting new mortal would survive. He appeared to Tommy in his true form, trying every trick to get him to stay, and more than that to get his True Name and gain eternal power over him.

Tommy, of course, attempted to avoid this clearly very powerful and obsessive elder fae, but found the roads twisting in ways that made no sense, all leading to the palace of the Fae King Eret, the land around becoming impenetrable, forcing Tommy into the castle filled with tempting food, soft warm beds, all so tempting for a weary traveller. Still, he refused to give in, and found himself face to face with Dream again, who managed to find out the crucial detail of why Tommy was in the forest. Of course Tommy knew it was a bad idea, but he was so desperate for the cure to his brothers malady he was half tempted to give over his true name for it. And Dream was so desperate to own this interesting mortal he was willing to offer him and his family far, far more than just a simple cure in exchange for a greater deal, the true names of the four of them for all the luxury he could give. After all, his love for this strange, clever mortal was worth sacrificing much for.

If anyone else wants to send in some more AU ideas it’d be lovely and I will make them heavily involve c!primeboys no matter what and again that’s a challenge.

#dream smp #Dsmp #dream smp au #Dsmp au #c!primeboys #c!tommy #c!dream #tw isolation #tw kidnapping #tw manipulation #tw obsession #tw possessive behaviour

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salenakingston · 3 years

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Mystery March Day 21 - One of Us

(This is by far the most involved prompt I have done for Mystery March, and so I hope it turned out alright. There will be some more detailed author’s notes at the end of the writing, as there’s no possible way I can fit them all here before it. Just let me express how much of an inspiration you all have been! ENJOY!)

I said, even if I told ya

It all started with an idea, as most every work of art does. Concepts were put in place, branching off from that one base idea. From there, others came together to help get this little project off the ground. Characters were fleshed out, just as the world they lived in where. The team worked hard on everything planned, a true passion project.

When the first video dropped, we were all invested. We fell in love with the characters, story, and music. We couldn’t wait to see more, and despite all the time having to wait, it has always been worth it. Great works take time, and even with a team as dedicated as this one is, they fueled our own passions with previews, updates, character and worldbuilding, merch, and as of the most recent video, a branch into another medium to further tell their story. Their group continued to grow, bringing on more talented individuals, including voice actors.

Fours videos under the belt and one more still to come, they pour their heart and soul into this series, though they are not the only ones who do so. There’s a theory in our world known as the ‘multiverse.’ It is said that all these universes living side by side with one another create everything that exists. Can the same not be said for this team and all the fascinating works of art that came out of this one little series of four videos?

They've been looking for you and only you

It’s a tale of three friends and their dog, all stemming from a terrifying incident inside a cave. One lost their life, one lost their memory, and one lost their arm. What of the last member of their group? He lost his identity. Karma for his trickery would come back to haunt him. Guilt came to consume another, and the last to make it out alive was left wondering what was even going on.

Revenge fueled the one that came back, determined to get back at the one ‘friend’ that managed to cut his life short, and reunite with the love of his life. What started with a chase through a mansion led to the appearance of a tree woman searching for the trickster. The ghost refueled hijacks a truck, gunning down for the familiar van he once drove for all of them.

The woman catches up, shattering the glass wall protecting those in the front seat. The ghost blows the back tire that causes the van to crash. Two encounters branch from this point, one shrouded in the past, and another in the pursuit of revenge. Blonde and blue-haired humans nearly falling at the hands of their captors.

But they survive.

The dog’s true form revealed, the battle commences, blood spilling. As one disintegrates, an opening is left over for a familiar evil to take hold. White became black, demonic nature taking over the once noble being. The three friends left being the ones to bring him free of this grip. What are they to do? It’s all left to be seen...

Darkness is my signal

Not too much is known about this blonde, though despite the change to his physical appearance, there are parts of what defined him that have not changed. He’s had to adjust his lifestyle, but seems to have made the most of his new life. He may have even found some comfort in a bit of an unusual source. Anything to keep him from the self-isolation he seemed content to bring upon himself because of his condition.

So what are you to me, what are we to you?

The cave incident plays out like normal, there is one major change in the timeline of events. The blonde is sent tossed over the cliff along with his best friend, the entity that caused all their problems still trapped inside his body. When the ghost reformed, his anger was washed away at the sight of his friend suffering the same fate, or so he believed. Once free, it was nothing but a rough struggle to hold onto sanity, not just for one of them, but both.

One to keep calm, helping his friend to try and stay lucid.

The other fighting the terrifying entity inside him for control, while changing his body to fit the demon’s needs.

The blonde won, but at what a cost? Green skin covering his body, feet and hands sporting yellow-tinted claws. The posture of his own feet changed, causing him to have to learn how to walk all over again. A tail with a tuft of orange hair, and two large wings attached to his back. Last of course, were the horns on his head, and the blacked out eyes with amber pupils. He was in despair over the turn of events.

At least he had his best friend to help him. He wouldn’t have been able to do this without him. Well, this, and the series of events that came to follow. The two were eventually united with their final friend, but their not-dog wasn’t convinced of the blonde’s mind. It didn’t matter that he didn’t act like a demon, as he still looked like one, accepting the pain brought on him.

Drastic measures were taken to ensure freedom of the ghost, no matter how unnecessary it was. Adjustment takes time, and a good talk was what the four of them needed.

But are you one of us?

Are you one of us?

What seemed like a simple task, well maybe not simple, but one that was plausible spiraled into a long drive across the country in search of a cure for the ghost’s condition. All it took was one ingredient: werewolf blood. Seven weeks after the start of their trip, two were starting to lose hope, the last of their trio determined as always. A blur running across the front of their van was enough to bring their hopes back up, chasing down what looked like a big wolf.

To just miss it. It seemed like another dead end for their search.

Until the blonde was all alone.

The wolf jumped out of the shadows, teeth sinking down into flesh. Were it not for the arrival of the kitsune, who knows what would have happened. The injured one was brought back to his friends, patched up, and taken in for proper treatment. A headache marks the night of the full moon, a night when werewolves are said to be forced to transform. What will happen for them? Most left to the whim of try blue ghosts deemed as blueberries. We shall see where their questions and actions take this new werewolf and his friends.

Tell me, are you one of us?

Said, are you one of us?

Tales of legends are passed down, but come from a place of truth. Those that speak of a king gifted a sword with a beautiful, glowing, purple gem just before the silver of the blade. This is a gift from the Lady of the Lake, and one not to be taken lightly. It comes as a surprise when the weapon turns out to be sentient, and the two not always getting along.

Sometimes the king can be a little harsh on his partner.

And sometimes the sword can refuse to work in situations where his help would be greatly appreciated.

They must learn to work with one another if they hope to overcome the obstacles placed in front of them. The question is can this be done, or will they continue to bicker with one another?

I know that this sounds crazy

An unfortunate case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time causes the members of the separate mystery solving groups to be body swapped with one another. A kid stuck with adult hunters that deal with magic, as well as otherworldly dangers, and an adult stuck with a bunch of kids that seem like they may be in way over their heads. The ultimate goal is for the two groups to come together, and find a way to swap the souls in each body back to their original home.

Easier said than done.

One gets to learn the truth of a horrifying incident, something that tore friends apart, and damaged the people of their group beyond some repair. A kind heart is offered to them despite all this, helping to try and ease the burden even if he has nothing to do with them.

The other sees first hand what kind of trouble a group of kids can get themselves in. His own problems arise, and in typical fashion, does not wish to push them onto anyone he’s been stuck with. It’s a little harder to convince some of this new group of the world he has seen, and learned from; but, if there’s one thing he can do, it’s to still help those around him, and lend a hand when a mystery comes along their way.

Two outsider perspectives looking in, and it’s a matter of what adventures they will have before and after they come together again.

Waiting for this moment, can you see me?

A whirlwind of emotions, pushed only further at the hands of abuse, a blonde is left to flee from his own home to try and preserve himself. He fled through the states, ending up at another corner of the US. His mind might have been broken, but that didn’t stop one person from becoming the most important in his life, nor the three that came to follow from their union. The haunts of old were constantly clinging to him, no matter how careful he was so that none could find him, and even when those fears returned, he never let them get in the way of his family. There was an understanding between them.

But all that fear came crashing back when one single letter was hand passed to him by his former friend’s father.

Even terrified out of his wits, he found the courage to pack up some of his family to return to his old home. The past came back in full force, as well as the reveal of a curse that only seemed to have the power to vanquish. The people that treated him the worst came back to him for help. The same blue-haired girl who’s father delivered the father nearly brought the end of three children with her partner in crime. The wraith that made his life a living hell came back trying to act as if there was something he could do to make up for what he had done.

And the demon that caused all this to happen in the first place was now roaming free...

'Cause I know that you're out there

Almost as if the reset button had been hit, the blonde wakes up thrown into the past, a time when his best friend was still alive, but… it wasn’t the same. The blonde was still the same one from the future, and new friends that his past friends would know nothing about showed themselves. How was he meant to be like his old self when anytime he looked at the purple wearing man, all he saw was the vengeful ghost out for his life?

Events aren’t meant to play out the same way, and they don’t. Despite this, some things can not be changed. The demon still found his way to the same host, though what he chose to do was different. Even with all the chaos, at least the one man didn’t lose his life.

And he gets a front row seat to what his blonde friend had to go through in the future he once came from. It hurt. Emotions still rang high, even if the circumstances are not the same.

This darkness is my signal, come and find me

Sometimes the past can be changed and have one new timeline play out, but what if that same man from the future was now thrown into multiple iterations of the same events, each one spent trying to make it a perfect outcome for all four of them? Well… after a few rounds it didn’t matter if he got to be part of their ending. All that mattered was fixing things for the other three. That was his assigned duty.

Death ended each try, waking the man back up in his bed, whether that be at the hands of someone else, or himself. He just needed more time, plan, and make sure he got it right. He could do it, he was determined to do so.

No matter how much it was tearing him apart.

And when enough was finally enough, it was up to the three left to try and convince him that even with pain, they could continue on with their lives. He didn’t have to keep fighting anymore. He could take an ending that hurt, but one they could heal from, rather than spending so many years trying and trying, all to end with a repeat.

As having to remember all of that hurt.

Are you one of us?

What started out as just another night of sleepwalking led the blonde to the steps of a very familiar mansion. Fleeing from an unseen threat caused him to swallow his fear, taking the first step inside. There was no greeting this time, save for the slamming of doors behind him. The only light provided was a light purple of three candles, lifted by the only hand he had. A journey up a flight of stairs and down the hall, coming to a plaque with his name on it.

Entrance strangely granted to him with the twist of a knob from a hand that wasn't there.

The night spent in a bed, waking up to find he had become a prisoner. It seemed death was what would come to him, whether it be at the hands of his former best friend, or by his own. After all, there was a reason his room was on the second floor. Revelations come to light with the appearance of a certain green arm… wearing a familiar, black wristband.

Friendships ruined, for another reason than before. Another friend found searching for him. Both started for selfish means, but it was selflessness that sent him back into the house, even though an evil from the past threatened them once more.

Tell me, are you one of us?

Said, are you one of us?

It’s not everyday that some dive into the past of these character’s lives, but what would happen if one young, scared blonde came across an ancient tree? One that was alive in more ways than one. A strange feeling washed between the two of them, a bond made from the day the blond fled into her woods to hide from the one hunting him. He came to her more than once, and yet every time he did, she sought to rest his soul.

And soon, the tables had turned. Now she was the one in need of rest, though she did not realize it yet until she got the same comfort she once gave to the blonde. His pack adopted her, and he took care of her rot. Names of a powerful thing to these beings, and they knew each other by that power word.

This was not the end of their story. The three friends and dog were reunited, of course the blonde being the one to decide to choose the home where his wooden friend resided. There’s no denying that he was still healing, but he found the courage to try and seek it for himself. The bluenette grew curious about the tree in their backyard, and the final finds an outside source to try and round his curious status.

Are you one of us?

The once ghost only turned out to be half deceased, but the hatred still remained. Whether he liked it or not, the blond was at fault; but, he had a plan. One that was sure to fix everything. Find the true cause of their misery, proof that he was just as much a victim.

It was a plan that split their group apart. The dog chose to go with the man on his search, while the bluenette stayed with their half dead friend. The hunt is on, but who’s to tell how the story is to go on from here. Will they each succeed with their goals? We shall see.

Are you one of us?

Said, are you one of us?

The ghost finds himself in the company of others like him. Not ghosts, but skeletons from various worlds. The logistics of how this came to pass is a mystery, though he does not seem to find these details too important. Separated from his ‘friends,’ he finds new ones in this strange group of individuals. They seem to naturally bounce off one another, though some still have trouble catching the ghost’s triggers to his anger. Thankfully, most situations involving this aren’t left to fester.

Their local hang out at Manny’s place is full of stories, interactions between these liked characters. Some funny, some more serious. Whatever the case may be, even if he’s not in the same place as most other ghosts like him, he’s found a place where he can fit in.

Are you one of us?

A prince and a noble of green came together, an unholy union that was meant to lead to a prosperous life. Perhaps, but only for one half of that pair. Concerns were dismissed, comfort was sought by an evil man from the one he supposedly loved, and the other tried to find what little comfort there was in his constricting hold. It took the support of two outside his kingdom, and two strangers that wormed into his life to stand up to the terror in his life.

And yet… even with their help… and his desire to lend his help in return…

It wasn’t enough.

A life ended, but the king came back. He was not about to give up on the kingdom he always poured his heart and soul into. Years he seemed to be alone, though one by one, four beings came into his company. He still had those that aided him in life, but now he had more to add to his family. A pink rabbit, golem, a purple imp, and a dark girl with a skull marking. Each had their own story, and a place with him.

And he would see to their safety as much as anyone else in his kingdom.

Tell me, are you one of us?

Said, are you one of us?

Some characters are unique to the world, not all always branching off the main four. Of course, that doesn’t mean there aren’t some made with connections to them in mind. Each is special, and built with as much care as anyone else…

Whether it be a cousin to the blonde, gray with orange highlights rather than the way around, a darker aesthetic, but still similar style to his cousin. A tattoo pattern along his left arm.

A green haired ghost, one met when the group of friends were out together. Something seemed about ready to suck her inside, the ghost reaching out to save her. She seemed to stick with them since.

A young woman dressed in red, blue, and brown. Golden pearls hang from her neck, and a black shawl wrapped around one shoulder. A brown cat accompanying her and group at times, and one that seems to have a power of her own hidden just underneath.

Are you one of us?

Some characters branching off the core four, and even some of those that were created as their own entity for this series chose to build their stories and characters with one another. Their worlds cross over to one another, relationships naturally build, and so too do the special elements and plots to separate them from one another. Each one of them is equally unique.

Whether it be from the multitude of different colored ghosts, each of them centered around their own story and emotions.

A blue-haired girl with one strand that is lighter than the other. A snowflake twinkled in her left eye, and a roller derby team she has been dedicated to for years counting on her.

The same mechanic, though with more visible scars to the incident in the cave. So much love and care to give, even to those in other worlds, even if the gray faes take a little too much pleasure in bringing him grief.

A black robed king, living far beyond the grave, glowing locks of hair flowing through the air. He’s been seen before, but this one on another plane, a chance to interact with others outside his grown family.

Are you one of us?

This amazing group of people, as well as many others come together over a series we all love and cherish. We create our own works of art, but not without credit to the original source. From this point and on, we only seem to grow as a collective, continuing to create as we wait, and surely even after the series comes to a close, it will hold a special place in our hearts. So long as we are all here, we shall continue to spread our joy over mystery skulls animated, supporting one another, no matter how small or big someone may be.

We extend our open arms to one another, and to those new to this fandom...

“Said, are you one of us?”

-----

(Author’s Notes: Seriously, this fandom has been an amazing inspiration, and I’m so happy to be able to take part in Mystery March. There was no other good prompt to really do this for, and I thought this would be a clever way to give tribute to the many amazing people and ideas/stories they have come up with. I tried to keep things short and vague for some, as there are some things I don’t want to give away, so you can check them out if you haven’t. I know there’s no possible way I could get everyone, but I tried to get as many as I’ve fallen in love with and not repeat anyone twice (even though I think I broke that rule twice). Again, thank you all so much, and I hope you enjoyed this.

Credits: (In order of appearance)

@mysterybensmysteryblog, @heilos, @artsyfeathersartsyblog, and the rest of the amazing team!

@lottafandoms (Vampire Arthur)

@ectoimp (Demon!Arthur) / @providentially-demonic (The Devil and the Dead Fic)

@askmysteryskullswerewolfarthur (Werewolf Arthur)

@heilos (King Arthur)

@phantoms-lair (Mirror’s Gaze Fic)

@braveskyered (Knights Fic)

@pi-cat000 (Time Travel Idea Fic)

@thefandomcassandra (The Future Fic)

@tyigra (House of Strays Fic)

@hecallsmehischild (Rest Nestling/Explain it like I’m a Tree Fics)

@neversleepagainau

@atomi-cat (Boneheads)

@ask-twoyearsafter / @kanaiekla (The Cruel Irony of a Prophetic Love Fic)

OC’s: @nerv0usm3chanic (Lucan), @binaconfusa (Frog), @lauritanaomystery (Laurel)

RP Blogs: @splatterlewis, @lamentinglewis, @frenzys-furnace, @bluescarfvivi, @punsandfuturekingsmen, @diviinc)

#MysteryMarch2021 #mystery skulls animated #msa au #my writing #my submission #long post

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curiosity-killed · 3 years

Text

hua cheng, the accidental person

okay this is for @bodhimcbodeface because i can’t shut up and make this concise enough for discord. spoilers ahead yeehaw

this is...not comprehensive. i’ve written 11 tgcf fics and am generally a bit fixated on Hua Cheng as a character so. there’s definitely things missing but i tried to hit the main points that i thought of while writing? also obviously this is just my interpretation! i do not expect anyone else to be like “ah yes curio the sage is so correct i have changed my thinking on this” like go live your life with your own versions of hua cheng! this is just the hill upon which i have firmly planted myself and from which i refuse to be budged. as u do.

anyway, LONG explanation of my very niche and very uh self-indulgent, not-necessarily-support-by-canon hua cheng apologism LMAO

tl;dr: (this is really Too Long i’m sorry) I think Hua Cheng reluctantly becomes a person during his 800 years of searching, starting from a point where he views Xie Lian not as a person but as an immutable god and focus of devotion and developing into a person who doesn’t really acknowledge that he’s a person because realizing that you want to live and do things for yourself is scary and overwhelming at times, and he ultimately falls in love with Xie Lian during the novel itself as he recognizes and is in wonder of the humanity of Xie Lian instead of his divinity or absolute judgment.

POINT 1: Hua Cheng doesn’t actually fall in love with Xie Lian till the ox cart

but curio! you say, “my beloved!” he calls him his beloved! and the land of tender!!

shhh. IMO Hua Cheng is more Wuming than Hua Cheng for those 800 years. By which I mean, for most of that time he’s, at his heart, a nameless soldier trying to find and serve his crown prince/general/god. He still views Xie Lian as this perfect and immaculate figure—a sculpture, a painting, a work of art that is untouchable and immutable. And he’s utterly and wholly devoted to that figure but devotion is not the same as love

So Hua Cheng is searching and trying to serve Dianxia all these years and then His Royal Highness finally ascends and is a god again and Hua Cheng shows up in all his glory to give this power and strength and wealth to serve him and—

and he’s met not by a powerful and reckless martial god or an unstoppable calamity but by a young man dressed in bridal robes who lets Hua Cheng lead him up a darkened mountain, who doesn’t lash out with spiritual energy or a sword but instead, only eventually, with the cursed bandage he was carrying back in the darkest part of his life.

and i think that throws hua cheng. like he’s had this image of his god all these years, this divine painting made over and over and over again—and he carries that belief and devotion with him, but there’s a crack in the sculpture and the stone is starting to flake off to reveal a human underneath it

so he puts on an approachable, malleable, unassuming skin and finds xie lian collecting scraps and being a lil awkward, a lil bumbling, generous and kind — and i think hua cheng, after 800 years of knowing everything, having everything — I think he looks at this discovery with wonder

Bc tbc this does not mean Hua Cheng views them as equals. For him it’s like, dianxia has even more to him, is even more than I knew. He’s seen Xie Lian as the flower crowned martial god in all his glory and as the white-clothed calamity in all his horror — and now here he is, wonderful, multitudinous, and human

Meanwhile I don’t think Hua Cheng even views himself as a person really, much less a human.

also i mean. the internet & allo ppl prove time and time again that you don’t need love for horniness so. land of tender’s right out as proof on that

POINT 2: The Live For Me thing

so obviously and undeniably, using one person as a reason for living is....not healthy. Not going to argue that. but my take on it personally is that, when Hua Cheng’s a kid who really, actively wants to die and sees no reason for living, Xie Lian gives him a reason to keep going. he doesn’t have to live for himself—that’s too much, that’s too big of an ask—but he’s been given a command and purpose by the one person who’s been kind to him/whom he respects. it’s a little like... “My life has no meaning but my cat needs me to feed him and clean his litterbox and so I need to keep getting up and taking care of him even if I don’t see a larger intrinsic purpose to my life.”

and i think like...it’s easy to forget that for all of books 2 & 4, Hua Cheng is young. He doesn’t live past 18—he’s still like...a kid. And that’s not to say that teenagers/young adults can’t make moral and rational decisions but I’m going to be honest, when I was that age I contemplated joining the Air Force because of tuition assistance and the snazzy uniform despite the fact that I was a vocal pacifist and repeatedly got into arguments with teachers about school rules and conservative politics. It’s not like. The Most Rational and Mature Age, lbr.

so Wuming is absolutely capable of looking at what Xie Lian is doing and being like “hey maybe war crimes aren’t a great idea” but he is young and traumatized and the one person he believes in, the one person who gave him a reason to keep going, is deadset on this task which tbh I don’t think either of them (or...necessarily...the society in which they live) views as war crimes in the modern sense (which isn’t to say that we as readers should view it any more lightly bc i think the narrative directly and firmly contradicts that idea) but as revenge, as an eye-for-an-eye. so, bad, but character-wise, I think it’s more nuanced than we sometimes consider

anyway back to the fixation on xie lian. i stand by the assertion that in those 800 years, hua cheng wasn’t exclusively focused on xie lian. like was finding and serving him his top priority? oh god yes. undeniably. there is no other version of this story. BUT eight hundred years is like....a lot of time. and i think in that time he started doing things for himself, even if under the guise of serving xie lian. hua cheng is curious and adventurous—he clearly likes to learn even if he plays it off as nbd—and i think he starts to realize that about himself in those centuries even if he doesn’t allow himself to acknowledge or consider it.

POINT 3: Mt. Tong’lu in General

“okay, sure but what about the thousands of sculptures and murals of xie lian, curio. what the fuck about them.”

Yeah. FINE. okay we will DEAL with this. dealing with this is the entire reason i wrote “(like i do) in the tall grass.”

disclaimer: this is probably not supported by canon! i also. Do Not care. My Ghost King Now.

so I have two general avenues I take with this:

going back to the devotion > love — when Hua Cheng reaches MTL, he’s seen xie lian beaten and cast down. what do gods need to survive? worship! we see throughout how important divine statues/portraits/etc. are throughout canon. in this interpretation, the cave is a concentration of all that worship in an effort to support and serve xie lian and hua cheng doesn’t view himself like...as part of it. the sculptures could have been carved by any hand so long as they are xie lian and the worship and devotion that goes into their making can support and bolster him.

my personal favorite version: amNESIA IN THE CAVES —okay i don’t have the text pulled up rn but y’know how Guoshi says Hua Cheng was almost dispersed, in terrible condition, etc., when he reached Mt. Tong’lu. so if baby boy is in terrible condition, barely hanging on, etc., then my immediate favorite option is that he doesn’t, at that time, have even the...uh threadbare sense of self he did in life/as Wuming and is running on only a vague and urgent sense of Something driving him—something he has to do, someone he has to serve—and in that case, the paintings and sculptures are part of his trying to piece together and process his memories as he can grasp them and figuring out who he is/what his purpose is. Is this canonical? PROBABLY NOT. and yet here i am. firmly planted on this hill

Also w/ MTL I think a thing that’s often skated over is the mortals, creation of E’ming, and his ascension. Which is important from a meta lens of Hua Cheng and Xie Lian vs Jun Wu but that’s not the point of this rambling monstrosity and i’m trying not to get too distracted. ANYWAY I think this is one of those times when Hua Cheng does something that he would probably excuse as like “well His Highness would’ve wanted me to” or “His Highness wouldn’t have been willing to sacrifice the mortals” because Xie Lian is still largely his moral compass—but it also is a peek at the complexity Hua Cheng doesn’t acknowledge within himself.

uh i got distracted anyway and no longer know what point i was making here. Hua Cheng Ascension Important....maybe i will remember this at some other point...

POINT 4: Live For Me (Revisited)

I sort of got distracted writing that point but anyway coming back to it now: I maintain that although Hua Cheng’s primary pursuit is protecting and serving Xie Lian he also does develop/realize his Accidental Personhood throughout his 800 years. this includes a lot of things, as previously stated, that are under the guise of serving Xie Lian (I’d put learning the Banyue tongue, finding out about the Gilded Banquet, collecting swords, beating the 33 officials etc., in this category) and things that maybe could be but...are not really (e.g., his friendship alliance with He Xuan, Paradise Manor* in general, the Gambling Den, learning the Wuyong tongue, bullying Qi Rong*, bullying FengQing*, playing with gold foil palaces, etc.)

(*these are ones that like...could be said to be for Xie Lian and I think he might say are for Xie Lian but also have a personal element that is just for him.

Like yes Paradise Manor is a lavish and well-stocked residence fit for a god or crown prince...but it’s also a luxurious and extravagant collection of all the things he couldn’t have in life. it’s like giving a kid a credit card with no limit and letting them run wild through uh. Fuck. A Fancy Department Store.

And sure Qi Rong was awful and turned on Xie Lian in pretty damning ways, but I also genuinely think part of Hua Cheng’s grudge with him is from the childhood abuse and from just...hatred that Qi Rong is around and looks like Xie Lian and gets to be there when Hua Cheng can’t find Xie Lian (which is about Xie Lian but for Hua Cheng).

Similarly with FengQing, sure a lot of his hate is for them abandoning Xie Lian—but he doesn’t even know till Book 3 when they abandoned him, and consider how much more he hates Mu Qing, the guy he blames for kicking him out of the army, etc. Some of it is totally “in service” to Xie Lian but some of it is because Hua Cheng carries a grudge like a goddamn pro and finds catharsis in beating the shit out of immortals who bounce back and can’t stop tripping over themselves and onto his blade.)

#hua cheng #tgcf #tgcf meta #long post #i'm sorry i cannot be concise or clear with my thoughts :<#this is why i write fic #bc i can just mash these interpretations through prose and then they turn out more clearly #....i think #i hope anyway bc this sure as fuck isn't that clear

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houndsharkk · 3 years

Text

alright alright, do yall want my dreamSMP headcanons?? keep in mind that i only watch a few of them

/dsmp

Possible TW's: trauma, manipulation, death, suicide, overdose; the basic dreamSMP stuff, unfortunately.

ok here we go:

Dream - a separate entity from DreamXD, though they are related; perhaps XD is from another universe? anyways, Dream was possessed by a 'Dreamon' at a young age, making him think that things like manipulation are ok simply because he didn't know any better. he says he's trying to get better, but is he? no. this is just another trick to make Tommy think he can change. Jacob Sheep horns are slowly growing (sheep-hybrid thanks to his mother, Cpt. Puffy). Him becoming family with George and Sapnap made him realize that he can make his own family, an idea which he twisted and turned into manipulation. In his words, paraphrased, he "did a bad thing but for good reasons" which were "bringing the server together"; he wanted to be a family with him in control, a dictatorship, a hivemind.

Drista - Dream's sister, more related to XD than Dream is. somewhat OP but has morals unlike her brother.

George - Mooshroom hybrid!! Has a little mushroom crown and cape because he thinks of himself as royalty (he isn't) - has little horns and a little tail. Misses Dream the most out of the Dream Team, but somewhat afraid of him. Wants 'the old dream' back, which was partly a persona and partly Dream learning about found family. He tries not to get involved with politics or the server after the events of the first wars, because he's scared. Sleeps through things as an excuse. Awesamdude's kid - doesn't tell anyone.

Sapnap - Dragon hybrid - has small horns and a tail, with burn marks at the base of them. His hands and feet are clawed and burnt. He also wants their Dream back, but understands that he was always corrupt and has mostly gotten over it. Wants to help with the Egg but, like George, doesn't like getting involved with big things on the server. He's ashamed of his dragon heritage, covering up his head burns with a headband and covering his horns with his hair; he hides his tail under a cape and wears gloves as well. Sapnap has unnaturally orange eyes, which he would change with contacts, if they didn't melt anytime he tried. Battle-scarred and hungry to start fights and sever friendships out of boredom. Badboyhalo's child.

Callahan - Cervitaur (deer-centaur). Distantly related to Puffy, Captain Sparklez, and Schlatt. I will admit, I have never watched him, and I don't think he's ever been too involved in server politics? Just a simple deer man trying to live his life.

Awesamdude - Creeper centaur thing (he and Callahan are... cousins? i guess?). Incredibly insecure about his morality and the fact that George doesn't talk to him much. Thinks he's a bad person. He becomes a father figure to Tommy through his Sam Nook persona - slowly gaining his confidence back through his real estate and his (illegal) adoption of the gremlin. Badass. Runs the prison by himself because he feels the need to prove himself, and he doesn't know anyone that would be up to the job.

Alyssa - inactive :[ probably human

Ponk - Human!! One of the few humans on this server, actually! He quite likes building and terraforming; he makes very aesthetic builds (see; war campsite). He and Sam are close friends. Ponk is also a parental figure to Tommy, but is closer to the fun uncle. The three of them steal together and then Ponk and Sam cover for Tommy because who could accuse them of lying?? Hesitant to join in with politics.

BadBoyHalo - Demon. Very, very tall demon. Large. Pretty wholesome. I honestly don't know what else to say about him lmao I haven't been paying attention to the Egg much. He and Skeppy are a thing though. Wishes his son would stop killing people's pets to start wars.

TommyInnit - He doesn't know what kind of hybrid he his, but he isn't human. His eyes change color with mood, going from a light grey to an extremely vibrant cobalt blue. He believes he may be part raccoon, or part bird(?) on Philza's side. Phil wasn't around during his childhood; Tommy only knew him as the hero from the strories that his older brother Wilbur told him. Philza killing Villain!Bur cemented his heroship, which is why Tommy sees him as a father figure. Wilbur never told him that he (Phil) was their father. Tommy is actually part siren, but his gills and fins haven't appeared yet. His PTSD is triggered by Dream, blackstone, tnt, people asking for his armor, and a few other things. An extremely traumatized kid. Best friends with Tubbo.

Tubbo - Sheep hybrid. His horns started coming in during Schlatt's presidentship, making him think he was a goat and following in his footsteps. In reality, he's Captain Sparklez's son; related to Schlatt yes, but not at all like him. He likes headbutting the people he loves, including his best friend Tommy. Wholesome, but still a chaotic being of destruction. He and Ranboo are also very good friends!

Fundy - Fox shifter; unlike most of the other hybrids on this server (other than Techno), he can turn into an anthro fox. Canonically transgender! Son to WilburSoot and Sally the Salmon (another shifter). Wilbur was an amazing father while Fundy was small, but started neglecting him during the Presidency, when he really needed a father. The two grew apart further during Pogtopia, and Fundy still tries to refuse his father's attempts at redemption. Despite this, Fundy and Ghostbur, even though they've had arguments, have a better relationship. Fundy is even one of the people who are attempting to bring back Wilbur. He sees Phil as a somewhat father figure despite him trying to be bitter towards him. Very involved with L'manburg and DreamSMP poilitics, but has taken a step back since his dad's death. Fundy also canonically misses Schlatt and wants him to be proud of him. He picked up smoking from him.

Punz - gonna be honest, I have never watched Punz.

Purpled - Enderdragon hybrid. Like Sapnap, but purple lol. Use to have a healthy rivalry with Technoblade, but doesn't talk to him anymore. A bit reserved. I don't watch him either idk if you could tell.

Wilbur - Bird hybrid, like Philza; his wings were clipped by Dream when he first began fighting for independence. Good friends with Technoblade. Wilbur was an idealistic person, and he was probably the most loyal member of L'manburg. He was so upset about the betrayals, he thought of them not as betrayals to the country, but to himself. When Schlatt took over, he began to panic. His perfect nation was being ruined, his nation, HIS nation. He thought of it as his and his alone; all those other people? They were side characters. L'manburg his unfinished symphony wasn't his anymore. It scared him. He began planning to take the country out because, well, if he can't have him, then no one can. He manipulated Tommy, making him go along with his plan, slowly becoming more insane and destructive. Deep down, Wil still loved his family, and his country, and his lost lover, but that didn't matter to him anymore. After blowing up L'manburg (the first explosion), Wilbur broke down. He realized what he had done, he'd become a bad guy; he'd worked with Dream. He asked his father to kill him. And so Philza did.

Ghostbur - Wings work again. Ghostbur pretends not to remember, he pretends that he's changed in death, but he remembers all of it. The bad memories hurt him now, more than ever, and he just can't deal with it; so he doesn't. Water makes him melt, and that includes tears. He's trying so hard to be a good person, he's trying so hard to be a good father, a good brother, a good friend. But it isn't working. He's still, though unintentionally, hurting people, and he feels so bad about it.

Schlatt - Ram hybrid. Brother to Puffy and Jordan (Sparklez). Schlatt is a smoker and an alcoholic, and a power hungry dictator. Or well, that's the persona he puts on. Schlatt, in reality (still /dsmp) genuinely does not give a fuck. He didn't care what happened, because he knew that people disliked him. He knew for a fact that he would be killed. This is why I believe he offed himself. He planned his stroke, or heart attack, the fandom doesn't seem to know which. He probably ingested some bad protein powder or poison or something, maybe he drank himself to death, maybe he OD'd and then drank, we don't know. But it seems unlikely that someone like him would let his body give out like that without a reason. Oh yeah, and he and Quackity were married at some point, but it was too short to really mean anything.

Ghlatt - Ghlatt, though still addicted to alcohol and various drugs, feels bad about being a bad person in his life. He thinks that it's a good thing he died, that the server benefited from his death, and that he shouldn't have become a ghost. He's right, of course, but I like to think that he's regained morality. Maybe now, in the afterlife, he can work on himself. Ghlatt isn't strong enough to take a physical form, so he borrows Ghostbur's occasionally.

Skeppy - Some sort of Diamond Ore man?? I think he's human. He and BBH have a thing. I don't think I've ever watched a Skeppy DreamSMP stream. Uhh Egg?? Egg. Badlands boys woo.

Eret - Herobrine is his cousin. Like. Yeah. That Herobrine. Anyways, they're a king, and they're more of an Awesomedude morally grey type character. Her only interest is survival, and I respect that. I haven't really paid much attention to him though. Their crown has bi flag colored gems on it :]

Jack Manifold - Jack Manifol! Jack Manifall~~ Jack Manifall.. off bridge!! Jack Manidrown :} OH SHIT- (i dont watch him)

Niki - Human. Wears Wilbur's old coat. Though she did go through a tough spot after Wilbur's death, she now runs a flower shop with Puffy. Dyes her hair often. I don't watch her either.

Quackity - Duck hybrid; wings were clipped upon his joining the server. His face scar was canonized :] Alex genuinely liked Schlatt, but realized he was being mistreated so he joined Pogtopia. He felt bad about it though. I don't have many headcanons for him to be honest.

Mexican Dream - ok am i the only one that wasn't into this arc?? i didn't even watch any of it. i saw him like once and was like "oh this is just a bit" and left wtf. was he important???

Karl Jacobs - Time Traveler man; human. Karl is slowly losing his memory due to his travel between timelines. The more he does it, the more he loses. I look forward to seeing this progress. Are he, Sapnap, and uhhh someone else actually engaged?? I like that headcanons :] I don't remember who the other person is though.

HBomb - Cat maid.

Technoblade - Piglin shifter. Techno is softer than he seems, and he genuinely enjoys the company of Ranboo and his friend Philza. Technoblade met Phil after saving him from wither skeletons in the Nether, making short visits to the Overworld until he built up an immunity. He likes the cold because it's the opposite of his terrible home dimension. Techno really did want to help Tommy, but their ideals clashed too much for it to work out. Very destructive anarchist. Though, he is pretty chill nowadays.

Antfrost - Cat shifter. So I lied, there are three. Uhh wizard!! I like that HC!! Wizard catboy go brrrr. In reality, I don't watch the Badland Boys often and I haven't seen any of the Egg plot so idk what's up with him lol. I like to think that before the Egg, he and Fundy were friends.

Philza - Wings were beat up during the explosion; he tried to protect Wilbur with them, but still ended up failing. He's the father to Wilbur and Tommy, with Techno being an old friend of his. He canonically really likes cobblestone. Phil tries his best to be the dad, but his morals are all over the place. Lately, he's unofficially adopted Ranboo, helping him with his uh. Issues.

Connor - Human in a Sonic onesie idk i dont watch him

Puffy - Sheep Hybrid. Sister to Schlatt and Jordan, mother to Dream. I really don't know tbh; she's everyone's adoptive mom. She's what Philza and Awesamdude wish they could be.

Vikkstar - Human. Has he?? Done anything?? Ever??

Lazarbeam - Isn't he a gingerbread man or something.

Ranboo - Half Enderman Half [REDACTED]. I dont have headcanons for him tbh I just accept his canon. May be related to XD?

Foolish Gamers - A literal god. He can revive people, but it takes one of his lives. Uhhh he's really good at building what.

Hannahxxrose - I don't watch her :[ I should though

Slimecicle - CHARLIE SLIMECICLE. Slime hybrid obviously. New to the server, very scared [/j] and confused. Doesn't know what's going on and that's ok because he's funny I like him

I got really tired of this towards the end oops

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poormeowmeowcollector · 3 years

Text

Let me give you my life

Pairing: Loki x Tesseract

Warnings: Major Character Death, Mourning, delusions, mental illness, alcohol, Original Character Death, Odin, fantastic racism

Summary: After Frigga's funeral, Loki starts hearing a voice. It changes their life completely.

Chapter 3: Verse 3

Chapter warnings: math, fantastic racism, death (not graphic)

Chapter summary: the orders

Previous chapter, AO3, next chapter

If I'm a pagan of the good times / my lover's the sunlight

Loki storms the library once again, this time searching everything about the Tesseract and this Entropy they call him all the time.

Entropy still remains a mystery, but there are even more writings about the space stone than the ones they've seen before.

"It says here that they worshipped you," Loki says, but only internally. He's in public, speaking to the walls would make him appear mad.

"People express loyalty in different ways," they answer, always softer since the deal.

"Is that what you want? Loyalty?"

"Among other things, yes. But mostly trust that I will not hurt you, cause I won't," they promise. Loki already knows this.

Can't break something that's already in pieces.

"Brother!" Thor yells as he walks in. Loki's shoulders tense, this idiot never warns them.

"Tho-thor," he answers, eyes on Thor as they drab a chair and side beside him. "How come you be i-i-in here? You ha-ha-hate books," they raise an eyebrow at their brother.

"I'm here to see how you're doing. You've been acting oddly lately," he answers, those blue eyes scanning Loki.

"People grie-grie-grie-grieve in different ways, Th-thor. I a-a-a-assure you, I'm fi-fine," he hums, turning back to the book.

"Loki. After all this, just remember that I'm here for you, eh? You needn't face anything alone," Thor insists, placing a big and steady hand on Loki's shoulder.

Loki's body nods, and smiles, watching as Thor smiles back before leaving. Loki's mind wonders if this is all a mistake. Thor was, is grieving too. Maybe this is all too much…

But Thor wasn't there when Gæirasson offended Loki, neither time. In fact, Thor has been a ghost since Frigga's death.

"You have my trust and loyalty, until the end," Loki decides, feeling in their core how relieved the Tesseract is by the answer.

"Allow me to show you another secret then. Look at your hands but don't touch anything and don't let it spread," they answer.

Loki lets the book and brings his torn from the picking hands under the table, always watching them. Black ropes start appearing and tangling themselves on their fingers, creating a calming sensation and demanding more ground, but Loki doesn't allow it. Out of all kinds of magic, this is by far the most powerful one he has ever seen.

And the most chaotic.

To keep the Goddess on my side / she demands a sacrifice

Like every day, the official Tesseract session is late at night, while Loki should be sleeping. Signs of their decreasing amount of sleep are becoming more and more visible, but they don't care.

"The o-orders?" he asks.

"You need to know some things first. In order to keep you from dying, King Laufey made a deal with one of us. Your life for acts of service. You need to do some things before being free," they do speak like they did on the first days, but somehow still softer.

"Acts of s-s-service?" he questions. So, the stone just needs hands and will borrow theirs?

"Yes. There are things that will keep the stones safe from those who seek them to do harm. Asgard has two, and you need to make sure that some things are set to their protection. It's just one thing, really. But you need to use your new powers to do so,"

Loki nods, the movement small and cut, like a soldier's.

"Ready to-to comply,"

Drain the whole sea / get something shiny

"First order. Free yourself from everything, good and bad," the Tesseract says. Loki blinks in confusion.

"H-how?"

"What bad do you carry into you? The possessiveness, the jealousy, this ego you named pride, all this fury… you don't need them from now on. Let them go," they insist.

"L-let them go?"

"Act as if they don't exist, don't give them your attention. The same thing goes for your bright side. You faith in your moral compass, your deep feeling for everything you care about. Both of those sides will keep you from moving on. You mustn't listen to them anymore," they explain, as if it's something easy.

"So… y-y-you want me to be-to be your li-little m-m-minion?" he raises an eyebrow. Is that what they agreed on? Being a tiny pawn but just on a different chess board?

“No. Not exactly. You are not to abandon them for my own good, but for yours. The acts might hurt these sides of you, you need them in one piece,” their voice softens.

Loki takes a breath, in and out as slow as possible, and nods again. “What-what sh-sh-should I-I do?” even though the stutter stays, he refuses to let his voice break.

They swear they can feel the stone smiling.

“Listen to me, and don’t act upon them. Also, learn how to control possibility magic,”

Possibility magic? Is that what the black ropes are?

“Learn how Midgardians think of possibilities. It’s close to how your new abilities work,” they advise him. So, this is what being under the orders of a stone is like? Homework and pretending? it’s nothing they don’t know how to do for hundreds of years…

“And after the-the week?”

“the fun starts.”

Loki smiles wide, wider than he has ever smiled even before Frigga’s death.

something meaty for the main course / that’s a fine looking high horse

The week passes peacefully. Loki doesn’t have to worry about how to do what, the Tesseract is there to help them with it and lets them just decide how to do what and, oddly enough, the Midgardian science was calming.

At least, more calming than war theory. And less graphic.

He was chilling on the training grounds and working on the newfound magic, until the Tesseract came.

“It’s time,” they say moments before a blinding blue light covers Loki.

With the blink of an eye, they’re at a castle’s yard, hiding behind a bush.

“Prevent the war, you know how,” the Tesseract says again.

On the contrary, Loki has no idea where he is and what he has to do.

At least not until a guard passes by, near the bush, their armour bearing Gæirasson's symbol.

They smirk, moving from shadow to shadow and into the castle, where they cast an invisibility spell to navigate without worrying about getting caught.

What you've got in the stable? / We've a lot of starving faithful

In the grand hall, Loki finds the old lord. They're discussing an attack, in which he is the main character, of course. They're to strike tomorrow evening.

Loki has to hold himself not to laugh. Instead, they sit and wait. Wait until Gæirasson ends the council and heads to their bedroom. And Loki follows. Until the corridors make a room, with six doors to navigate through.

It would be such a shame if they suddenly closed shut, locking the two foes inside.

The old fool chuckles. "I know you're here, Frost Giant. I can smell your people's blood," he looks around.

Loki chuckles back and drops the spell, standing right in front of the man.

"Is it this? Or do your aged joins hurt with the cold?" he titles his head, showing his signature mischievous smile.

"Why are you here? To negotiate? We've been past this part," they growl. Loki doesn't break the smirk, but lets a glow pass their eyes. Green, but with icy blue undertones, and a pitch black shadow.

"No. We are here to talk about monsters. For, as you can smell, the blood of my siblings who you slained are screeching for it"

That looks tasty / that looks plenty / this is hungry work

"Do you know anything of my people's belief regarding the Norns?" Loki asks, circling around the man like a predator waiting to strike.

"Why should I care about the opinions of monsters?" he spits, trying to mimic the glare.

"Oh, because it's interesting. We believe in the norns, like you do. But they don't create the strings, they knit them. Twisting and turning and combining and separating people, and letting us choose where to go on each knot. Fascinating. Oddly enough, the mortals have a similar way of thinking, at least the ones who are closer to science. They name it possibilities, and write it with numbers,

"Let me give you an example. There's a fifty percent possibility that I will continue this conversation with my normal face," Loki speaks, letting the Æsir glamour fade and rising to his Jötunn height. "But I won't choose this path because your ceilings are low and I would have to bend my neck," they continue, after walking a few steps and letting their horns scratch the ceiling. The glamour appears again, bringing him to his Æsir skin.

"And there's always the possibility that you die, because of your old age and the stress of the war you created. And the only reason people remember you is as an example of why not to piss me off," he grins, the black ropes tangling around his wrists.

"And the possibility, in Midgardian terms, is one hundred percent," they leap closer and grab the old man by his collar, staring right into the fear in his eyes.

"I have a message for my people in Hel, deliver it when you see them. Tell them to rip this old cunt apart, yet keep one piece for me for when I arrive," he spits, watching as the ropes tangle around their throat and mummify them in front of his eyes, making the fear and anger burn out.

They throw the corpse on the floor and open the doors as the Tesseract casts another light, revealing Loki's chambers as it fades away.

"You shouldn't have scratched the ceiling with your horns," they say, worried.

"And? I laughed at the face of one old fool already, what's a second one? And if I am to join my family, let at least my exit from the hypocrites be dramatic," he laughs, ready for the guards to storm in and take him to the dungeons.

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bts-ficrecs · 4 years

Text

Namjoon angst fic recs (no smut)

@ephyra16 asked:

Hey...! Your blog is of so much help to me, thank you for all the hard work you do... I wanted to ask if you know any long Namjoon oneshots or series which mostly have angst but no smut...? Namjoon centered fics are really hard to find. Thanks!!

yes hello for some reason tumblr hates me and idk why everything gets wonky when i try to answer asks so i’m making a new post <3

1) as a jin stan i feel u. is hard to find fics for our mans but that just means when we find one we devour it and cherish it 4 ever lol

2) jsdflajsd you might have more luck asking someone else for straight up angst cause i can barely stomach angst LOL. I tried my best to find some heart breaky fics for you! :”) A majority of these I have not yet read so we will both be riding the emo train together.

As you requested, most of the oneshots are long fics, over 5k but! There are several honorable mentions under 5k are also listed cause they’re great

Thank you for your patience and I’m glad you’re enjoying the fics I reblog! :D so many great stories out there. as always, if there’s a fic that any of you readers think should be on this list lmk!! 🧡🧡 Enjoy!~

A Little Bit Of Sugar by @lthyl

Summary: Namjoon is well aware that some, well actually most people could find his hobby not exactly common, yet he still considers himself to be a man of tasteful words and higher intellect - someone who managed to understand the true, deepest meaning of beauty itself. And so he doesn’t really care if his methods of collecting pretty things end up being darker that expected, once you peek under the surface.

Almost Love by @joonary

Summary: You think you’ve got your life all figured out—after all, you found your soulmate already, and you’re lucky enough to have found him in your childhood best friend. You suppose that maybe, now that you’re older, your luck has begun to run out.

Better To Have Loved by @rkivenamu

Summary: Love, Namjoon had found, wormed its way though people, consumed them whole until it left nothing of the people they had once been. It became a weapon to be used to wound the other. Love, it seemed, was the worst thing that had ever happened to him.

Bloom by @hobidreams

Summary: Family is who you kill for. Who you die for. In this society, you and your kin are shadows, clinging to the darkness to obey orders absolute. But when such orders command you to abandon what little honor remains for wealth and notoriety, you find yourself lost in lonely uncertainty about the only vocation you’ve ever known. That is, until you meet a man with gentle hands, a poet’s heart, and a love for coaxing the world into bloom.

Note: okay, this has smut (there are 2 smut scenes) but… it is too good for me to not add to this list

Breathless by @personawife

Summary: Jungkook was eleven when it had begun. At first, he didn’t realize what was happening to him when he had miraculously coughed up a flower petal. He thought that maybe it had accidentally blown into his mouth with the wind, but then he realized that there were no cherry blossom trees around his house.

Pairing: Namjoon x Jungkook

Catching Fire by @namjoonchronicles

Summary: “If you didn’t want to go, then you should have told me. I wouldn’t have taken you here.”

Cut by @chimchimsauce (>5k)

Summary: Namjoon always hated soulmates.

Chasing Perfection by @shuaffeine-rkive

Summary: Kim Namjoon is the only kid in AP Bio that is smarter than me, and I will make it a point to destroy his perfect record.

Emancipated by @imagniation

Summary: CEO!Namjoon is a hero time and time again when your father takes the villain role.

Five Times by @lordofassgard

Summary: Five times you wished you never met Namjoon.

Sequel (of sorts): Part 2 - Namjoon's POV

For All the Petals by @rosaetae (>5k)

Summary: A story in which you met him in the spring, fell in love with him in the summer, but he left you in autumn and how you missed him in the winter.

Forget Me Not by @fairyjeons

Summary: She fell apart that day. An all white day with crowds of adoring friends and family to see them make the most happiest decisions of their lives, to choose to be together. She chose yes. He chose different.

Ghost In The Machine by @jimlingss

Summary: Kim Namjoon is your android that’s modified to become the best serial killer in all of existence. But when he starts to learn about humanity, he begins to threaten your goals.

God of Destruction by @jimlingss

Summary: Everything he touches breaks; except for you.

Jealous by @btssmutgalore (>5k)

Summary: Namjoon remembered the day you left clearly.

Lit Me Up by @floralseokjin

Summary: You find yourself becoming captivated by a mysterious, handsome author, but you may have bitten off more than you can chew…

No Goodbye by @floralseokjin (>5k)

Summary: Even if you’re the one who ended things, you can still feel pain. Your heartbreak is valid. Your sadness for the past is a grieving process…

Noble Gain and Loss by @jaeminlore (>5k)

Summary: You are a person of nobility preparing with your tutor for your royal debut. The two of you fall into a forbidden love.

Not The One by @personawife (>5k)

Summary: Maybe you should’ve realized early on then, that something was bound to go wrong. Meeting your soulmate at sixteen and living happily ever after? No one’s that lucky. But you refused to believe anything else.

Paracosm by @jimlingss (>5k)

Summary: Namjoon’s always known he was your second choice. He was a substitute for someone who wasn’t there. So when you’re on your deathbed, he intends to reconstruct your memories and remove your regrets.

Press Play by @out-of-jams

Summary: You didn’t mean to. Didn’t intend to fall in love with a dying man.

Submerged by @myfeelsinink

Summary: Kim Namjoon is the man of your dreams; or rather, from your dreams.

Suspended Soul by @justimajin

Summary: A silver ring, a live long promise, and an eternity of happiness. All of which, he had managed to break.

The what Ifs by @ellieljade (>5k)

Summary: You would be able to handle the relationship between Namjoon and your best friend if it weren’t for all those damned “what ifs”

Wishf-oo-l by @sseudanym (>5k)

Summary: To fulfill a good man’s bad dream.

Worshipers of the Soul by @jimlingss

Summary: The King of the Underworld was denounced and exiled from Heaven as a god. But with your help, he may rise to power once more and claim his rightful throne.

You’ve Got That by @mikrksmos

Summary: After making a life-changing decision for your career, you’re unsure of how exactly to bring it up to your boyfriend after your relationship and communication has not really been in sync. Namjoon is ready to take this relationship to the next stage, and he is sure that what he needs to ask you will be the solution to all the problems you have been having. Both know this next move is the right idea, but are unaware of how parallel those ideas really are.

Confirm Or Deny by @dinoyoongi

Status: complete series (6/6)

Summary: You’re a member of the rising group FRNZEE. You’ve been dating Namjoon for years when Dispatch releases an article exposing your relationship. Your company confirms the relationship. Big Hit denies it.

Deeper than Ink by @whoajeon

Status: discontinued series (2/?)

Summary: Should you fall in love with someone, even in the slightest, your skin becomes marked with vibrant colors that depict the story of your emotions. A tattoo, per say. However, should they or you fall out of love, the bright hues dull to black and the feelings you once had for each other melt away. To many, it’s a blessing to not have to live with the pain of your past. But what’s the point when you have too many reminders–say 27?

His Deaf Stars by @jooneos

Status: discontinued series (1/?)

Summary: When Namjoon turned 20 he had been excited to finally find his soulmate. He hadn’t anticipated that finding them would prove to be such a long journey. Now, more than 500 years later Namjoon still hadn’t found them.

Note: ok, yes it’s discontinued and only 1 part is up but still… please read it. It’s an interesting read regardless!

Inked by @kookswife

Status: complete series (6/6)

Summary: The day Namjoon entered your life was the day you were a bit more than utterly fucked.

Monster by @wordycerty

Status: ongoing series (1/?)

Summary: Namjoon as a vampire and you’re locked in a basement with him. For you to escape, he first needs to feed.

Noble Heart by @agustkive

Status: ongoing series (1/?)

Summary: Unrequited love can destroy anyone, and in a society where it could literally do so, it made it difficult to want anything more. Being among the population with Hanahaki disease, you battled with doing what you loved without actually feeling it. That is, until a new florist by the name of Kim Namjoon came into your life to remind you of what it actually felt like.

Reality by @thoughtssilent

Status: ongoing series (11/12)

Summary: Namjoon can’t deal with himself anymore, and to make things worse, BTS is disbanding.

Pairing: Namjoon x OT7

Regrets by @nightbts

Status: complete series (3/3)

Summary: When his eyes met yours, you felt your heart squeeze in your chest at the familiar brown eyes that you once used to know at the back of your hand. The very ones you’d wake up to every morning. The very ones that would gaze at you with so much affection as the words I love you spilled past his mouth during the most random moments of your day. It was him, your ex-boyfriend, the very Kim Namjoon.

Solanacea by @softjeon

Status: complete series (10/10)

Summary: There was something between them that neither could deny. It was like this from the first day they had met.

Pairing: Namjoon x Jimin

The Heiress’ Son by @jimlingss

Status: complete series (3/3)

Summary: Love is never enough. It could never feed you, protect you, stop death from taking you. It chains you down. It compels forgiveness unconditionally. It is dangerous. While it is the most intense of feelings, love is not enough and it will never be. Love never helped anyone.

What If I Said by @thoughtssilent

Status: complete series (3/3)

Summary: If no one is there for him, Namjoon won't be there for them. Or, a collection of sad stories.

Pairing: Namjoon x OT7

#namjoon angst #namjoon fanfic #bts fic recs #rm angst #bts angst #ephyra16 #g recs #g replies #f:knj

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aloneeedra · 4 years

Text

Mint 2 B pt. 2

This is part two. Thank you for reading!

Japril fanfic| Disclaimer: All rights belong to Shonda Rhimes, I only own my version of the ending

One Year Later

April hurried across the parking lot of the elementary school, not having a chance to stick around to here the sound of her car alarm locking. She could feel the cold rain slowly penetrate through the layers of fabric she wore, but she didn't pay any attention to the feeling since a much bigger one took up her mind. She pushed pasted a parent holding tightly the hand of a little kid. "Sorry," she yelled, but she didn't look back. Her heels hit hard against the tile floor, and she felt that harshness against her toes as she ran past three hallways and finally took a left turn into the fourth. She ran past more parents with their kids, never giving them the smallest bit of attention, her eyes on one class the entire time. She thrashed into the open classroom, crouching over to try to get some air into her lungs before she even had a chance to see who was in it.

"I'm so sorry I'm late. The traffic...it's...it's a nightmare. I left an hour early, believe it or not and yet, it still wasn't enough. It crazy, really. It's ridiculous, actually." She raised her left wrist close to her eyes. "But, really, I'm only like 47 minutes late. So it's not that bad." She finally stood up, her red curls flying around her face, before her soft brown eyes widen. She looked at Ms. King, Harriet's kindergarten teacher, then she looked at the two parents sitting in front of her across the desk, with a child sitting on of their lap's. All three adults looked at her like she was crazy. Even the tiny human had her mouth gaped open.

"Ms. Kepner, you have not missed your meeting. As you can see, I am currently with another family, so if you mind waiting out in the hall?" Ms. King asked, looking at April like a teacher would like at a 5 year-old.

April felt her checks burning. She nodded her head, a fit of laughter due to awkwardness fall out of her mouth. "Of course I can wait," she giggled. She threw up her hands up in finger guns, playfully, making the situation from awkward to absolutely horrifying. She quickly dropped her hands. She pointed towards the hall she had come in so wildly. "I'm going to be out there. Waiting."

"Sounds good."

"Okay." April walked out of the classroom, for the first time allowing the fact that she was covered in rain sink in. She dropped her head, her eyes closed tightly as she involuntarily played the scene in her mind. She was so caught up with the idea of missing Harriet's parent/teacher meeting, that she didn't really give herself time think logically. That always happened when Harriet was involved. April consider herself a person that thrive from organization and calm thinking. She was a trauma surgeon for Pete's sake, yet just the thought of Harriet and any logical thought flies out the window. She started to rub her face almost like doing so would make the memory go away. She stopped when she heard laughter. April slowly lifted her head up, her eyebrows pushed together as she spotted who was laughing.

Jackson had his mouth cover, but he didn't look like he was trying to hard to cover his laughter. He was sitting on one of the many chairs against the small halls of the elementary school. His green-blue eyes stared at hers unafraid as his laughter began to gain fire. No one else was there beside empty chairs and a sleeping Harriet sitting against her dad's shoulder.

April raised her hands up in disbelief. "Were you there the whole time?" Then, when Jackson nodded, she added, "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I called out your name, but I guess you were in such a hurry speeding past me you didn't hear me." He continued to chuckled. As much as April was irritated by this, she found herself laughing along to the entire situation. Jackson moved his head towards the free chair next to him. April sigh, before taking the few steps towards it to sit in it. Each step felt like she was inching her feet into a wet carpet, the sound of slush following. This made Jackson laugh even harder.

April placed her bag on her lap. Hating the feeling of pressing against the plastic chair, she avoid leaning back. The rain made it feel cold. "I totally made a fool of myself," she said.

"I highly doubt that."

April crossed her legs. The wet fabric of her skirt made a sound similar to her heels when it moved. Jackson looked towards where the sound came, this time holding in his laughter. His eyes shifted from her crossed legs to her face. "You're all wet."

April looked at him with such with sarcastic smile. "What? Really? Thank you for letting me know."

"You have a raindrop on your cheek," he said, before he brushed his thumb across her cheek.

It had been a year since April and Jackson put away any kind of romantic interest for each other into a box and decided to move on. Not soon after, April found herself married at a wedding that wasn't hers originally with Mathew, someone she somehow reconnected with. The past year, Jackson and April were doing pretty good at just being co-parents of Harriet and friends, like before. They, however, did not hang around each other much of the time. April blame it on have two different jobs, two different lives. Of course they couldn't spend much time together when they were constantly living their own individual life, only seeing one another when they dropped off Harriet for the week. Only say five to nine words, before go back to their piece of living.

But then Jackson does something like brush off rain from her cheek, or look at her for maybe a little too long, and April wonders if maybe the 'having two different lives' reason was crap. Maybe the real reason why they didn't spend so much time with each other nowadays was because it was hard to act like before. They have a way to make simple, very innocent gesture intimate. It was a slipper slope that they found themselves in and it was just easier for both their different lives if they didn't spend time together.

Jackson dropped his hand quickly, looking forward. He cleared his throat, but didn't say anything anything.

"You didn't have to come," April said. She was already aware that what they do best is act like nothing happened. It happens every time they saw each other. You would think it would have lost it's effect on her. She would think that too. "I thought I took care of parent teacher meetings?"

"They called me when you didn't show up. I was at work."

April looked at Jackson's scrubs. "You didn't have time to change?"

"I have to go back right after this." Jackson smirk. "Like you're the one to talk." She could feel his eyes on her outfit. "You would look nice, if you weren't dripping the forecast."

"I can't control the rain, Jackson."

"You ever heard of an umbrella?"

"I didn't think I had time. I hurried out of my car and into the school without much thought. I thought Harriet was here alone. Thank God, she's fine. Has she been sleeping the whole time?"

"No, when I came here she was playing in the playground with her friends. She has a lot of them. Our daughter is very popular."

April smiled proudly. "Of course she is. When did she fall asleep?"

"Maybe a few minutes before you showed off your running moves, or your lack of." He paused to laugh. April rolled her eyes. "She must of have tired herself out." Jackson had his right arm wrapped protectively around Harriet. Her small head resting against the side of Jackson's side as her small open mouth out let out soundless snores.

"No, it's because of you. She always falls asleep much faster when it comes to you. It's a little annoying."

He pushed his shoulder against her playfully. "Jealous?"

"No," she lied. "Okay, yes. Of course." This made Jackson laugh again. He always seemed to happy whenever they did see each other. April wanted to believe it was because of her. "You can leave if you want. Since I'm here now. There's no need for both of us to be here."

Jackson seemed to think it over for a moment as he used his other hand to carefully push back the baby hairs sticking out of Harriet's braid, only for them to reappear once his hand left. He then rested his left arm on April's chair. The idea of leaning back become more intruding. She hated that such a small act of affection drove her mad. Jackson made her feel something that she couldn't get anywhere else. It was ridiculous. "No, it's okay. I want to hear all the good things that my daughter does. It not like everyday you get to hear someone that's not family brag about her."

"Yeah, it is a pretty good feeling." April looked forward as they sat in silence. She wanted to lean back against her chair. Was that crazy? Was she crazy? Something in her core urged for it. She could feel every muscle in her body, hear every mediocre sound like it was right against her ear as she very slowly leaned against the plastic chair. She first felt the wetness from her blouse touch her back, but then their was this feeling when she realized she had done it. She couldn't feel his arm, just the atmosphere it was creating by just being their, hovering over her, as a sort of affection.

She could sense Jackson tense up beside her, but she refused to look. She waited for him to remove his arm, but when he never did, it was like they both knew something that neither one of them could ever share, maybe because there was no words for it. To a normal person walking by, his arm was resting on the chair that she was sitting in. It was no big deal, but for April, it meant something. Something more than she would ever admit and deep down she hoped that it meant something for Jackson too, but she knew that was unlikely.

It was strange. They had gotten closure a year ago in Jackson's car, yet, though April was happy with Mathew and she was happy for Jackson and Maggie, her feelings for him didn't disappear like she thought they would. They still lingered in her like some kind of ghost that would become alive whenever Jackson was close. When she thought about it, it was silly to think that the feelings she had for Jackson could ever disappeared. Maybe this was just how it was. Maybe there were a bunch of people who were still in love, but could never be, and they all act like those feeling weren't there, but they were.

The family she had interrupted earlier walked out of the classroom, and soon followed Ms. King. The sight of people made April sit up quickly and Jackson take his arm off her chair. It was as if the kindergarten teacher had caught them doing something. She looked at them weirdly, before stepping aside. "Now, it's time for you parent teacher meeting," Ms. King said.

Jackson began to laugh again. April completely over it, stood up and walked into the classroom. Jackson followed soon after with a sleepy Harriet into his arms.

It had become nightfall when the small broken family walked out of the large elementary school. April was clearly upset, blowing hot air out of her nose as she rambled on. "Violent? She called out daughter violent?" She cried out.

Jackson rolled his blue-green eyes as he followed her to her car. He held an awake Harriet in his arms, close to him, as she played with the collar of his blue shirt. "She didn't say that."

"She practically did."

"No, she said that Harriet has shown violent behavior towards her classmates. She didn't call Harriet violent. Though, April, we need to take this serious. It's not okay for her to be hitting other kids."

April threw a nasty glare as Jackson, reaching her car. She opened the car door next to the car seat, before grabbing Harriet from his grip and placing Harriet safely into the seat and buckling her up. "Kids hit. That's what they do."

"No, it's not. Don't try to write Harriet's behavior off. She needs consequences for her actions."

April gave Harriet a small smile, before closing the door. She walked past Jackson and around her vehicle, with him following closely behind. "I'm not trying to write off her behavior."

"You kind of are."

April turned around, crossing her arms over her chest. "Okay fine. I'll...take her toys away for the weekend. Happy?"

"You need to talk to her about why what she did was wrong."

"Why do I have to talk to her? Why can't you talk to her?"

"Fine, then I'll talk to her." Jackson made a move to get into the car, but April put out her hand to stop him.

"Fine. I'll talk to her," she said. She got into the driver side, shutting the door and turning on the car, before putting her seat belt on. Jackson stood outside her window. She waited for him to leave, but then he knocked on it. She sighed, before putting it down. "What now?" she asked, her shoulders slum. She just wanted to go home.

"We should also think about what she said regarding why Harriet is acting this way."

"You mean when she accused us of fighting?"

Jackson nodded his head.

"I don't know what she talking about. That's ridiculous."

"So are you saying that you and Mathew don't fight?" Jackson asked.

April opened and closed her mouth a couple of times as she looked at the large tree she had parked in front of. She didn't know how she wanted to answer this. It was normal for couples to fight, healthy even, but admitting that it was happening to Jackson seemed too vulnerable. April didn't understand why, but she wanted Jackson to believe she was happily in love all the time, even if she wasn't. Eventually, she looked at Jackson with his eyebrow raised and ended up asking, "Are you saying Maggie and you don't fight?"

His expression changed. He looked down to his shoes. "No, we don't." For a split second, April wonder if Jackson felt it too. The need to pretend like everything was okay with their love lives. They were adults, full adults with a kid now, so admitting that maybe they weren't where they wish to be seemed almost like a failure. But that idea went straight out the window with his next set of words. "Actually, Maggie and I broke up, so."

April eyes widen. She sat closer to the window, her hands grasping the ledge . "Jackson, I'm so sorry. I didn't know." He brushed the idea away with his hand. "When did you guys...?"

"A little more than a month ago."

"Oh." April pulled back her hands. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Well, it's not something you just announce during a ten second conversation and that's all we've been having lately. I was going to tell you when time was right, it just never seemed right."

"Right." She wanted to ask why they had broken up. She wanted to ask who had broken up with who, but she didn't want to pry into his business. She also felt she wanted to know for the wrong reasons. "Well, I'm really sorry it didn't work out." She thought that was the end of the conversation and smiled at him kindly, before about to press the window button.

"What about you?"

She removed her hand from the bottom. The conversation was still alive and running. "What do you mean?"

"Mathew and you? Do you guys fight?" he asked.

April didn't understand why he was asking when he clearly knew the answer. If Jackson and Maggie aren't together to fight, that only leave April and Mathew to be the reason behind Harriet 'violent' behavior. She looked towards the backseat to see Harriet playing with her favorite toy, before looking towards the radio. She made sure the air was on, before getting out of the car. She shut the door behind her before crossing her arms over her chest once more to bring some kind of comfort.

"He got a job offer in California," she said.

"Oh. Are you going to move to California?"

"He wants us to, but I don't want to. My life is here. You're here." April paused and watched as Jackson eyes looked at her like they did before. It brought feeling to her stomach as they kept eye contact. The air around them felt thick. She quickly looked down. "I mean, you're Harriet father. I don't want her growing up with her dad being miles away." Jackson stayed silent. "Anyways, we've been arguing a lot about it. Him trying to convince me that it's a good idea to go and then getting upset when I tell him I don't want to." Mathew also usually turned their argument into something having to do with Jackson, but April didn't bring that up.

"Do you want me to talk to him?" Jackson offered.

April made a face. "No, no, that's okay. We'll figure it out."

Jackson looked down to the ground. "He doesn't deserve you, April." He said. April eyes widen. Before she knew what she was doing, she slapped him. Jackson quickly touched his check, his eyebrows pressed together. "Ow. What was that for?"

April covered her mouth with her hands, surprised that she had done that too. "I-I'm so sorry, I am...but how could you say that? You encouraged me to married him." Jackson held his check as they looked at each in the dark. When she realized that he wasn't going to say anything, she turned around, opening the car door once more before getting in.

Jackson quickly stood in front of the down window, his eyes lingering on her as she placed her seat belt on. "I'm sorry. You're right. I shouldn't have said that. I don't know why I did."

April placed her hand on the stick, but felt Jackson hand on her shoulder. She looked at Jackson. She could clearly see some red on his face and immediately felt ashamed for her own actions. "I'm really sorry," he said.

April grab the hand on her shoulder, before carefully pulling it off. "Good night," she told him before finally raising the window up and putting her car in reverse.

3 days later

April tossed candy into goody bags as she watched Harriet jumping on the bounce house. She had been talking to herself for a solid minute, asking herself what she could do if she saw someone be mean to Harriet, but whatever plan she had come up with was never used since Harriet didn't seem to get pushed into that situation.

April sighed alone, as she sat in the wooden bench as parents around her had their own conversations. Her eyes would shuffle between watching Harriet play in the bouncy house and Jackson make a bunch of parents laugh as they stood by the grill. Jackson was always so charming and had a way to attract people, something April clearly couldn't do. When Pete had invited her to his kids party, she never in a million years thought he would too invite Jackson. She had no idea their relationship went past patient and doctor. Jackson always seemed able to connect with people in a way April couple.

She watched as a very flirty mom placed her hand on Jackson arm. April rolled her eyes, unable to watch people gape over the existing of her ex. She placed the reminder candy in one bag, before standing up and walking into the house. She smiled politely as people she only kind of knew, before reaching the kitchen. She let out a large breath of air once she was finally alone. That didn't last long.

"Are you okay?"

April turned around to see Jackson slowly walking to the kitchen. Her eyes widen. "Did you follow me? Who's watching Harriet?"

"She'll be fine," he assured her.

"No, Jackson, she might not. There's a lot of people here who we don't know." April started walking out of the kitchen towards the backyard, but Jackson stopped her. He had his arm out. She stopped walking, looking out towards the backyard.

"She'll be fine," he said.

April could feel his eyes on her. She chose not to meet his eyes as she turned around back further into the kitchen. She stood in front of the island, using it to keep distance from Jackson. Ever since she had found out that Jackson is single, things had been weird between the two. Jackson has become more forward towards her, looking at her like she was made from the sun itself without any shame or even trying to hide it. It was different than before. Though April allowed small moment of affection, she thought there would never be anything more. Now, though, it felt possible and that scared her.

"What are you doing in here?" he asked.

"Oh, you know, just...cleaning," she said. She grabbed an open bag of bread, beginning to close it.

Jackson leaned against the island. "Are you sure you're not trying to avoid me?"

"What? Of course not. What makes you say such a silly thing?"

"I don't know. Maybe the fact that you can't look me in the eye." April tried to look him in the eye, but quickly looked away. "See," Jackson said.

April let her shoulders drop. "Well, maybe I could look you in the eye if you stopped looking at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like the way you do, Jackson. Don't act like you don't know what you're doing. I was married to you, remember? I know that look."

"I don't mean to. It just kind of happens when I look at you, April."

April burst out laughing. "Really?"

"What?"

"It just happens when I look at you, April?" she mocked. "What the hell does that even mean?"

"Don't act stupid."

"I'm not."

"You know what that means."

"I don't. I really don't. So, please explain it to me."

"It means I like you, April," Jackson hissed.

April dropped the bread on the grown. "Shit," she mumbled, before bending down to start picking up the fallen bread. Jackson quickly walked around the island, bending down next to her. He started to help her pick up the bread, but she quickly took the bread out of his hands, dropping it to the floor. "Stop it. I don't need your help," she said.

"What's your problem?"

"You are Jackson! You're my problem! You like me? What the hell are you trying to do here? I'm married!"

"I'm just telling you how I feel. I don't want to hide it."

April eyes widen. "Yeah, well, you're telling me a little late, don't you think?" She picked up all the fallen bread, putting it back on the island, before standing up. She should just throw away the whole bag. Maybe buy Pete a bag of loaf bread.

Jackson stood next to her. "You don't think I get that? I was stupid, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear? That I should have tried a little harder before getting a divorce? That I was so focus on how I felt right in that moment that I didn't realize that it would eventually pass. Everything passes."

"Yeah, maybe."

"Well, I'm saying it now. I'm sorry, okay. I didn't know then the stuff I know now. I was so hurt by everything that I just wanted to make it stop, even if that meant giving up on the things I love. On giving up on you. But the more time that passes, the more I realize that my feelings for you aren't going to stop, April. I waited and waited, and they are still there. I constantly think about you. It's frankly annoying. I don't want to. I know you're married. I get it. I don't want to feel this way, but I can't help it."

April finally looked at him. "So what?" She asked.

"What?"

"What the hell do you want from me?"

Jackson looked around, before shrugging his shoulders. "I don't know? To say you like me back, I guess?"

Every part of April's body stopped. Was this it? Was this what she wanted? All those small gestures of middle school affection, craving for a moment when her skin could touch his, turning the most innocent thing into some kind of forbidden act. Was this what she was longing for all those times?

April began to laugh. She laughed so hard that her stomach began to cramp.

"Why are you laughing?" Jackson asked.

April looked at him with amusement. "Jackson, I love you." He began to smile, but April quickly threw her hands up. "No, you don't get it. I love you, but you like me. Don't you see? You treat me horribly. I bet you have feelings for me. I don't doubt them at all, but you are so unsure of what you want and you're so impulsive about it. I gave you my heart and you encouraged me to give it to someone else. And then a year later, that's when you tell me you like me? After treating me like nothing?" April looked downwards, in her thought for a moment. "And I was pathetic trying to get any affection off of you. Like trying to get leftovers. I was settling for leftovers." She looked back at him. "I deserve more than leftovers."

She grabbed the bag of bread from the island, throwing it away in the trash as she walked out of the kitchen. She could hear Jackson footsteps as they followed her. He quickly stood in front of her, his hands out wide.

"You're not happy with Mathew. I can see it."

"You're right. I'm not," she said. He raised his eyebrows at her, like she had proven his point. "So?" she asked.

"I want to be with you, April," he said.

"And I want to be with you, but that's not enough. I don't want to do this if you're suddenly going to feel like this isn't right and dump me on the side of the road again to find yourself. Having feelings for someone is not enough of a reason to be with them forever. I want to be with you forever, Jackson, but if you don't 100% want the same thing, then there's no point. There just isn't."

Jackson stood very still. "You're the only person who makes me feel alive," he said. He moved his face closer to her, their nose almost touching.

April gave him a sad smile. "Those are awfully big shoes to fill, don't you think?" She kissed him on the check, before walking around him to the backyard, where she scooped Harriet from the bounce house, and they headed towards their car.

6 hours later

April had her cover up to her chain as she looked at the fan above her in the dark. It went around and around. She thought back to Jackson and their conversation, thinking it over and over again, with new topics popping in her head. Things she wished she had said. The whole thing seemed messy and gave her a headache.

She could feel the bed dip towards her right as Mathew got into it. The cover on top of her slip towards her right as he moved around, trying to get comfortable. April eyes never left the fan above her as she spoke. "You should accept that job offer."

"Does that mean you're okay with moving?" Mathew asked the dark.

"No," she said, "It means I think we should get a divorce."

Five Months Later

Having a house warming party was never the plan, but April hated how quiet the apartment was when Jackson had Harriet. She however, did not think ahead about the mess that was going to be left afterwards and was starring at large amounts of food and plates left everywhere once everyone had gone home. Everyone except Jackson.

"Harriet is asleep," Jackson said as he walked into the living room. He took a look at the living room and pulled his sleeves up. "Wow."

For some reason, Jackson had come over to the house warming party with Harriet. Turns out mentioning an event can be confused as inviting the person. Ever since his confession, Jackson and April had agreed to keep their relationship strictly co-parents. They only talk about Harriet when drop off Harriet. That was their relationship. At first it was awkward, but with time they had found the perfect place they needed to be where Jackson could walk into a room and April could look at him without feeling completely heartbroken.

"Yeah," April said. She started to pick the dirty dishes collecting them one after the other, placing them on top of each other to make a sort of tower. She saw Jackson doing the same thing and quickly spoke up. "You don't have to."

"It's okay. I don't mind."

April nodded her head as a thanks. They did for a long time in conformable silence. April ended up in the kitchen, in front of the sink, scrubbing off the food as Jackson stored leftover in the fridge before joining her. He dipped his hands in the sink beside her and started to wash off the plates April had scrubbed off. They shoulders were touching. They did this in silence too for a while, before Jackson spoke.

"The party was great," he said.

"Thanks." Silence again as Jackson tried to balance all the dishes on to the small plastic dish dryer. "Thanks for sticking around, too. I would probably be stuck doing this all night if it weren't for you."

"No problem. I actually want to tell you something."

April lifted her eyebrow at him. "Are you going to confess your love for me again?" she asked.

Jackson chuckled. "No."

She looked back to the sink. "I'm just teasing."

"I'm sorry about that. I really didn't think it through, to be honest. I mean, I meant what I said, but..."

She cut him off. "It's okay. I forgive you for...everything. I wasn't completely in the right either. We were both wrong."

Jackson smiled. "Yeah we were."

"What's the thing you wanted to tell me?"

"I am dating this girl. She is a firefighter and I think it's becoming serious."

April thought her heart was going to sink. She thought that something in her would break. She waited but it never came. After she divorce Mathew and made friends with people at her church, she started to see things in a different way, almost in a bigger way. She didn't understand at first how five months could make her feel so new when years past and she felt the same. She realized thought with the help of her friends that it not really about how much time, but what you do with it.

"That's really great, Jackson. I'm really happy for you."

"Thanks. Also, I've actually decide that I want to go to church. Try it out."

April smiled. "Really?"

"Yeah. Do you think your church would mind if I...?"

"No, they wouldn't mind. They would love to have you."

"Awesome."

After they washed the dishes, April went to her trash can, about to grab the bag to dumb it outside. She stopped her actions though, her eyes looking intensely at the trash. Jackson stood by her, wiping his hands off a rag as he looked at the trash too. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"I, uh, I think someone threw away my bread." April reached down and grabbed her almost empty bag of loaf bread in the air, before looking at Jackson. They held eye contact for a few seconds before both of them burst out laughing.

Nine Months Later

April sighed deeply as she entered yet another speed dating event. The first she had ever entered one it was because her friends had forced her into it. Now, however, she found it fun meeting so many different people and even met a guy once. They only lasted a month, but she really enjoyed that month a lot. She was worried that have two divorces under her belt was going to make it hard for people to date her, but it turned out, it wasn't as big as a deal as she made out to be. She realized that everyone has had heartbreak.

She had become a regular at the speed dating in a way, this being her third time. She even greeted the host. April was completely surprise though when she saw Jackson with a name tag, hold a glass of champagne as he stood by the table of sweets looking like a spend dating virgin. Spotting him first, April quickly went over to him with a large smile. "What are you doing here?" she asked.

"April, hey! I guess the same thing you are," he laughed. They shared a hug.

April grabbed one of the drinks, before smiling back at Jackson. "You are the last person I thought to see here." April knew Jackson and his firefighter had broken up and he was dating again, she just never imagined to see him at speed dating.

"Yeah, this really isn't my thing, is it?" he said. April shook her head. The host cut the music and began to clap his hands, getting the attention of all the single adults. Jackson looked overwhelm as the host started signal people to get in their seats.

April started to walk towards the tables when she noticed Jackson wasn't following. She walked back to him, her eyebrows raised. "You coming?"

Jackson looked down at his drink, before he shook his head. "No, actually. I don't think this is for me."

April looked back to the people waiting for her to meet, before looking back at Jackson. "You wanna go to the bar across the street instead?" She asked. Jackson's blue-green eyes met hers, before he nodded his head. April left her glass of champagne on the table she got it from, before taking his hand and leading him to the bar. It only took half an hour until the pair was laughing over nothing, letting the alcohol over take them.

"Can I admit something silly?" April asked him.

"Sure. Go ahead."

She smiled, but then started to shake her head. "No, no, never mind."

"No, now you have to say it." He gently pushed her shoulder with his. "Come on spill."

April gave him a look, before looking down at her almost empty drink. "Fine. Do you remember that time when we were in your car, after you read my letter, when I said that maybe we weren't meant to be?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, I kind of hope that you would have told me I was wrong or something. This is gonna sound a bit silly, but I always kind of thought that God made you for me or something."

Jackson shifted his body towards her. "April, I didn't know."

"I know, but if you had felt that way, then you would have said something, wouldn't you? I guess it all worked out in the end, anyways. We both have good jobs, we're stabled. We can survive without being together." She took the last sip in the glass.

"Would about when I confessed to you that one time in Pete's kitchen? When you turned me down. Did you want me to tell you you were wrong then too?"

April shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe? I don't know. It doesn't matter now."

"You should have told me. If I had known," Jackson paused. He shifted his body forward, facing the bar. His blue-green eyes looked at his drink. "I thought I was causing you more harm than pain. You told me I was being awful to you. You told me that we weren't meant to be together. I thought I was doing the right thing by backing off. You should have said something. I can't read your mind. If I had known-"

"Jackson, forget it. I mean, you're right. I have this tendency to not say anything. To just assume you should have just figured it out. It wasn't fair to you, but hey, it all worked out." April looked at him with a smile.

Jackson didn't smile. "If I had known, of course I would have told you were wrong about us. I encouraged you to marry Mathew because I thought that's what you wanted. I got my stuff together and made an effort to become the man you could with forever after you divorced Mathew, but then you told me we should strictly be co-parents. If I had known, April, maybe things would have been different."

April gave him a kind smile. "Maybe they would have, but honestly I needed to know that I could be alone. I think you needed to know that too. All these maybe's and if, we should let that stuff go. We're here. We should allow ourselves to be."

"Allow ourselves to be?" Jackson question. He couldn't help but let a small chuckle escape his mouth, before taking a sip of his drink once more. He watched April order another drink, before swirling the small amount of liquid left in his glass. "You know, I'm willing to try again if you are."

April looked at Jackson with disbelief. "You aren't serious."

"I am. All those times before clearly weren't the right time. I think this is the write time. We are both single and we are both grown. We have become better people. I'm not saying get married. We should take it slow. Just start off with dating and see were that goes."

"Date? Again?"

"Actually, when you think about it, we never did that. We were never just boyfriend and girlfriend. Let me take you out on date, April. Let me buy you flowers and lets just go to places and talk for hours and text like we're teenagers." He titled his head to the side, a cute smirk on his face. "What do you say? Wanna try again?"

April open her mouth just when the bar tender told them both that they were closing. They both hopped off their stools. April rampaged in her purse to pay for her drinks, but Jackson stopped her.

"I got it covered," he said, before putting a few bills on the bar.

April still pulled out the little cash she had and set it next to his money. "He deserves a good tip," she said. They eyes were stuck on each other. "I had a lot fun tonight. I didn't think this is how my night would be, but I'm glad it turned out this way."

"You haven't answered my question," he said.

April smiled at him. "Good night, Jackson." She walked past him, but his hand shot out, catching hers. She looked back him, her eyebrow raised.

"Come to my place." Before she could say anything, he added. "Come on, just for some drinks. 'Let's just let ourselves be.'"

She was silent for a moment, before nodding her head. "Okay."

34 minutes later

April thought Jackson's apartment lacked a lot of decoration. He lived in a one bedroom apartment that only had pictures of Harriet , his mom and him with April's face in a few of them. April headed to the bathroom as soon as she entered his apartment. She had to go through his room to get to the bathroom and stood in front of the mirror for a couple of minutes, asking herself what she was doing.

She didn't know how to feel or what she wanted. She never expected this to happen. It felt almost sprung on her. When she asked Jackson if he wanted to go to the bar, never did she imagine it would lead her to going to his apartment for something not Harriet related.

Eventually she had to get out of the bathroom. She took note of his room as she walked through it, accidentally bumping into the end table. The plant on it slip from the surface and crashed onto the floor. "Shit," April mumbled. In panic, she opened the drawers to find something that could help her clean up the mess she made. Dirt was everywhere and she thought that maybe Jackson had some kind of rag or something, but instead in the lower drawer, she found her letter.

She quickly left it there and closed the drawer when she heard footsteps. Jackson walked into the room, an amused smiled on his face. "You broke my plant."

"No, I didn't. I just broke what was holding your plant." She began to gather dirt in the middle with her hands.

Jackson bend down next to her, starting to do the same thing. They finger brushed against each other a couple of time.

She could feel his eyes on her. April met them. She felt something beautiful shiver through her. She thought back to the bread she had dropped once when he confessed to her. How awful everything felt. It was fast, and her thoughts were jumbled. They weren't now. She looked at him, and it was calming and smooth and she felt like she could breathe. It felt natural and obvious when he looked from her eyes to her lips. Like of course he would. Of course this is where they should be.

He stood up with the broken pieces of the pot. April followed his lead, her hands covered in dirt. She looked down at them. "I should wash my hands," she said. Jackson nodded, setting the pieces on the end table. They went into the bathroom. The water turned on. April placed soap on her hands and Jackson did too. They washed them then dried them then looked at each other in the small bathroom.

They stood close to each other. Jackson leaned his head down towards hers. Their lips so close a small moment would make them touch. April could feel his breath as he spoke. "We should take it slow," Jackson said.

"Okay." April said.

She leaned in. She pressed her lips gently against his. He wrapped his arms around her, bring her closer. She locked her hands behind his neck. Then, after a while, she pulled away. "I have to go. Harriet's babysitter is probably worried."

Jackson let her go. "Right. Then...I'll call you? Ask you out on our very first date?"

April pecked his lips. "Okay" She walked past him out the bathroom, feeling like all the pieces had finally fallen together.

She reached his door with her purse in hand when he called out her name. She turned around only to meet his lips again. He pushed her against his front door, before pulling back. "I'll see you tomorrow." He creased her check.

She closed her eyes at the touch before leaning upwards and kissing him again. "Okay. Don't forget to call me."

Jackson nodded his head. "I won't."

April peck his lips one last time, before wished him goodnight, and leaving his apartment with hopes of tomorrow.

#japril

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saezutte · 4 years

Text

yuletide letter 2020

Dear Yuletide Writer,

Oh, hello again. I didn’t see you there.

This year, I have transcended earthly desires and struggled to find any fandoms to request. I want nothing. I wish my cat was nominated as a Yuletide fandom so we could all write stories about her life.

Nonetheless, I have some small requests!!!! I believe you can make me happy in ways I’ve never been happy before. I trust you. Happy end of 2020, the cursed year, I hope you are blessed with rest.

My AO3: saezutte

My public twitter: juncassis

My tumblr: here but I do not use tumblr much anymore, sorry.

Do Not Wants

[note: I have no actual triggers, nothing you can write for me will make me any more depressed or anxious than I already am]

Death (of major/important/beloved characters)

Suicide attempts, self-harm

Rape (outright; OK with dub con, manipulation, noncon short of violent-rape-for-violence-only)

Eating disorders, body shaming

Angst without a happy ending, really too much angst at all

Established relationship

Cheating

Actual Unrequited Feelings

Pregnancy (the actual process; breeding kink is fine)

Scat or watersports

Hard BDSM or any kink complicated enough that the characters would have to discuss it ahead of time

Homophobia as a plot device

Excessive attention to identity or politics, sometimes known as “issue fic”

Note on AUs: I am ok with the usual popular AU tropes but I do not want them combined, e.g. A/B/O is fine and coffeeshop is fine, but I don’t want an omega barista getting his scent all over the lattes he makes for some alpha lawyer who comes in every morning. (Ridiculous example, but you get the point.) For AU/modern settings of fandoms with magic, I often like it when the magic is still there in the AU setting. I also like AUs which maintain the general outlines of the character’s relationships, like if the characters are childhood friends in canon, I like to keep that intact.

General preferences:

I am a pretty basic bitch when it comes to fanfic: I like it when two clueless boys pine for each other through some shenanigans and then lock eyes/lips/dicks.

If you fed a neural net every fanfic written in Stargate Atlantis fandom between 2005 and 2010, the result would probably be some nonsense I’d enjoy.

I love many tropes. Tropes! Bed-sharing. Sharing an umbrella. WASHING EACH OTHER’S HAIR? Confessions where they are having an argument and then one of them yells “Because I love you!”

I love situations where characters are forced to spend time in close proximity and find themselves with feelings.

I love fakeness: fake dating, fake marriage, arranged marriage, marriage of convenience, fake lust induced by sex pollen or heats, aliens make them have sex, whatever.

I love porn, if you want to just write me some quick porn, that’s great. I do prefer (per the established relationship DNW above) that it be first time or get together porn. I know that can make it hard to just write porn, but I don’t need much to be convinced of sex.

Nirvana in Fire (TV)

Requested characters: Mei Changsu, Xiao Jingyan

Note: I also love Lin Chen so if you want to write some MCS/LC or LC/Fei Liu or LC/MCS/JINGYAN OT3??? go for it. I am also a Nihuang/Xia Dong shipper so if you want to put that in… somehow… my gay little heart would be happy. I also like Nihuang/MCS/XJY or MNH/MCS + MCS/XJY but I’d like the focus on the men in that case!

I watched this show because someone recommended this show to me as, like, Chinese Game of Thrones but good. I think it’s genuinely one of the best TV shows I’ve ever seen. I love plots and revenge and good people doing bad things for justice. Even the ending is good for me though obviously it left me unsatisfied on several points.

I am deeply into sickly doomed genius MCS and every time he got even more deeply ill, I fell deeper in love. Every time he coughs up blood, my heart would race. I love his terrible schemes and stupid self-sacrificing choices. I find watching this show very soothing because I knew he would always come out on top in his schemes. I trust him. I love handsome clueless Jingyan and how he’s just so good (it’s terrible.) I love his mom and how much he cares for her. I love him but he is useless, he needs his Xiao Shu and I need fanfic to restore him to him.

Note: So my limited research on this says that male/male sex practices were accepted and well-known in this time period in history, so I really don’t want them thinking “oh no what are these weird gay feelings.” There are other barriers to them being together, like a ruler or official being overly attached to one person was considered very bad. I am also a big supporter of the socially-approved polygamy of this time period, so I don’t need Jingyan to refuse to sleep with his wife or something out of loyalty to MCS—he has to do it! Or all their plans are ruined! And he can enjoy spending time with her or the concubines without affecting his feelings for MCS—you could explore that complexity in fic if you like.Prompts:

Mei Changsu isn’t dead, he’s hiding again, Jingyan searches for him

They start having sex during the series, the ending is averted [somehow]

Post-canon, MCS is alive and Jingyan hides him in the palace with his consort/concubines to keep him on as an advisor without anyone objecting

omega verse where MCS was an alpha before he “died" but an omega after he came back.

AU where male/male marriage is customary (maybe aristocratic men are expected to have one male and one female consort?) and so MCS decides the best way to influence and help Jingyan in the capital is by becoming his wife or one of his concubines

anything just get them together and happy.

Tokyo Babylon

Characters: Subaru, Seishiro

I read Tokyo Babylon as a child and I imprinted on it deeply, now I love politics, ghosts, stalking, age differences, magic. Within the CLAMP canon, I love TB for its episodic focus on smaller stories, the commentary on contemporary society, and Seishiro being an outright creep. I love onmyojutsu and exorcism and Subaru’s innocence getting ruined. I love the city of Tokyo (where I currently live! but do not be intimidated, I don’t know the city well because we’ve been in quarantine most of the time I’ve been here and won’t judge you for details.) I’m open to fics that comply with X canon or not.

With Seishiro/Subaru: It’s bad but I love that predator/prey dynamic where the predator ends up being hopelessly entranced/obsessed/in love with the prey. My read was always that Seishiro lost the bet and couldn’t admit it—he’s just, you know, killing twins to avoid dealing with his feelings! Relatable! (?!?!) Subaru, I love particularly in his evolution from innocent to adult in love to betrayed. I’d prefer post-TB fic to during-TB fic (so Subaru knows Seishiro’s deal and loves him anyway.) I am also a fan of Hokuto and you should feel free to bring her back to life to troll if you desire.

Prompts:

AU or reincarnation plot where they are Heian period rival onmyoji

Because this is such a heavily place-based series, if you are a writer who likes to play with details of real life locations, I’d be interested in versions of different “Babylons” if you have an idea for it.

Tragic first times post-TB lol

Seishiro is a virgin the first time they have sex

I’d probably love some fucked up dub con for this, however you want to play it

Honestly, do whatever you want as long as you don’t fuck me over like CLAMP did.

プリティーリズム | Pretty Rhythm

Characters: Hiro, Koji

Pretty Rhythm came to me at a weird time in my life. I lived in a house of spiders in Yokohama and did nothing for eight weeks. King of Prism cheer screening transformed my life and I didn’t even know what it was. Then I got weirdly deep into Rainbow Live and the Pretty Rhythm franchise overall. I am a scientist of prism theory. Idk why I like it, it’s just wholesome and crazy and there are penguins and DJ Koo. I love every TRF song because I’m a 90s gay at heart. It’s truly the end point of all media development. The prism world represents the fearsome power of virtual/digital+real hybrid life. Yes, I know I’ve lost my mind. I went to one of the real Prism Stone stores, the one in Harajuku.

Hiro Hayami: one time a fujoshi asked me to describe what types of anime boys I like and the first type I listed was “prince but bad” and my example was Hiro. Hiro is the crazy gay stalker disaster of my heart. He overcomes great hardship to achieve his dreams and foolishly falls in love along the way and he does everything wrong and Koji keeps leaving him. The moment when Hiro is crowned King of Prism in Pride the Hero was one of the top ten moments of my life. I made friends who don’t even know Japanese watch the movie unsubtitled with me on my birthday.

With Koji, I’m a bit guilty of “I want to give the character I love the most the character he loves the most” so I do like him less (it would be impossible to like him equal to how much I love Hiro). But he has many good points that make him perfect, like how he also sucks underneath his chill exterior. I love to see him go apeshit.

I also love everyone else in Rainbow Live, no exceptions. I love all the girls. If you do write the girls, I would prefer they not be paired with the OTR boys. I would prefer they be paired with each other, any combo is good.

Prompts:

this is the sort of pairing where I love fic where they split up and then 15 years later meet again as washed up has-beens but there’s still time for them to find each other

Canon-compliant companion piece showing the “background” of them getting together romantically over the course of the series.

AU where Koji is a prism world fairy sent to inspire Hiro but Hiro is kind of a mess

dirty, dirty porn… let Hiro get fucked

I have a lot of doujinshi with multiple copies of Hiro (a la the Mugen Hug jump) but I’d like something where Hiro gets overwhelmed by many Kojis

They start fake dating as a publicity stunt and have to keep doing it… especially good if it starts when Koji is at max hating Hiro level

Ring Fit Adventure

Characters: Dragaux, Ring

Keeping this one simple: I like to be encouraged to exercise by a storyline and a trainer that never mentions weight loss, lol. The world is fun and pretty and I love that buff dragon.

AND THEN THE PAIRING. I’m sure Nintendo has some market research that told them a certain subset of users are very motivated by enemies who seemed to once be lovers or best friends. I am that user.

What is up with these two? They were so in love! Now Dragaux is a horrible swole bro (not in a good bro way) and Ring is training me instead? I can’t compete with their love. It’s the only time the game makes me feel inadequate.

You can keep Dragaux and Ring as dragon/ring-like as you like. Obviously I’m down with dragon fucking but you can also make him a human fucker too. I play with Ring on the masculine voice setting for maximum BL vibes as I exercise, but, you know, it’s a ring, I don’t think it has gender. Feel free to incorporate the player or other random characters too.

Prompts:

AU where Dragaux and Ring owned a gym together and Dragaux sold out to a big chain of gyms

What happened between them when Dragaux was still captured, pre-game? Bondage… literally??

Ring is always bossing me to train, but I’m really doing all the work. Why doesn’t he fight Dragaux on his own for once?? (because the sexual tension is too powerful.)

Tragic flashback to their dramatic break-up ending with their present day reconciliation.

Player/Dragaux/Ring threesome??? I’ve unlocked the sexercises???

With all fandoms, you are free to disregard the prompts and do your own thing. If you’re not sure about me, you can probably dm seriesera on twitter, she knows what I’m into.

Well, I suppose that’s all for now. Please stalk me online to get more details on my bullshit. I hope you have a nice time.

Best,

Caitlin

#yuletide

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littlefeatherr · 5 years

Text

"The fuck you doing out here alone, wolf bitch?" He snorted. "Or should I say, the hero of Winterfell?" Clegane's deep growl broke the silence of the Wolfswood. "The dragon queen sure knows how to blow smoke up you Starks arseholes., I'll give her that."

Arya maneuvered her mount beside him. "She does indeed. Sansa spotted it first. Jon wouldn't listen."

"And why not?"

"He was just being stubborn." Arya didn't care to further share her feelings about Jon.

"Too taken in by the queen's Targaryen cunt, more like. Bloody green boy." Clegane spat on the ground for emphasis. "Word of the lady's sparring reached the soldier's barricks."

"So Gendry said."

"Your brother could stand to learn a few things from the little bird. She's grown wolf's fangs for true. Glad of it, though not the way she became that way."

"She's suffered much since you left her." Her voice wavered, the admiration and regret in the way he spoke of her sister touched her in an unexpected, uncomfortable manner.

"I offered to take her with me. She refused." Clegane rasped, lower than normal.

"I know. She told me." Arya glanced at him. "It was Tyrion who spread it around, I'll wager."

Clegane nodded. "Another man too foolish to listen to Sansa."

Startled, Arya gaped at Clegane; he never used Sansa's name as far as she could recall. What changed?

"You didn't answer me," he went on, "you made it back to your family. Why'd you leave them and Baratheon's bastard behind to go south is beyond me."

"I left my family to kill Cersei," she snapped, "it's the only way to make sure they're safe."

"Heard about Bronn, did you?"

Arya allowed a satisfied smirk. "Ghost and I convinced him to abandon his plans."

"You should have driven that little blade of yours straight through his black heart. Unless you meant for him to tell Cersei you're coming."

She had no intention of explaining herself, but the Hound would sniff out the truth of the matter. It had become a damned inconvenient habit of his during their time together, and yet she couldn't deny his instincts were, as always, right on the mark.

"And why are you here?" Arya shifted in her saddle. "You're brother's dead."

"I've unfinished business in King's Landing."

"Whatever that thing is Cersei has by her side, it isn't Gregor."

He didn't answer.

"You have unfinished business in Winterfell, with my sister."

Clegane scoffed, but much to Arya's gratification, neither did he deny it.

"I saw the lovesick looks you two were giving each other last night."

"Bloody hells! You've lost your mind." He sputtered, much to her amusement. "You weren't even in the fucking room!"

Clegane's face flushed under her scrutiny, egging Arya on.

"I had to sneak out before I threw up and shamed Sansa in front of the queen and all of the North!" She laughed, and despite his swearing protests, Sandor followed her. "She's missed you. You should be with her, not chasing your undead brother to the Seven Hells."

"You're one to talk, with your list. Fuck off." Clegane remained uncharacteristically quiet, and Arya let him think on her words.

"And you should stay with your mooning blacksmith, not still after the names your bloody list, " he finally replied, his voice rough. "But what the fuck would I know about it?"

"You must know enough, judging by the look on Sansa's face last night." Arya tread carefully. "We haven't seen her smile much, and you had her positively glowing."

He raised his brow at her. "Yeah, I'm a regular Daemon the Dragonknight."

"No one's more surprised than me, Clegane, believe that!"

Abruptly Clegane pulled up on the reins, causing Arya to follow suit.

"I'll make a deal with you, wolf bitch. I'll put aside Gregor if you set aside Cersei and your list. We can both give up on King's Landing. Move on from here." Sniffing, he looked off into the distance, though she noticed that his knuckles were white from gripping the reins.

Frowning, Arya started to protest when Clegane interrupted her.

"I don't care to die in that stinking shithole. I've seen enough men burn to death, heard their screams." Bruskly he brushed his cheek. "You don't want that either, so stop fucking lying to yourself."

Was he really trying to convince her to simply give up and go home? That didn't sound like the Hound she knew.

"Let the dragon queen send both of them to the Seven hells, or feed them to her dragons, one."

"But what if Danaerys doesn't kill Cersei?"

Clegane snorted. "Targaryens don't take prisoners, girl. I thought you'd know that after your grandfather and uncle."

Though angered by his cruel reminder, Arya had to admit that he spoke truly. Still, her training refused to allow her to entrust the queen to Danaerys.

"But what if she marches north?"

"Cersei, get through these icy woods, all the way to Winterfell? Your mind's addled. She bitched all the way to Winterfell in the royal wheelhouse, you recall."

"Yeah, Tommen told us."

Clegan's mouth twitched, "What, with your army of wolves, your fucking Three Eyed Raven brother, not to mention the bloody cold - you really believe that she'd survive both Danaerys and the north?"

In her heart, Arya knew that he was right. But it was a scary thing, to abandon the last name on her list; to abandon death for the future - a future with Gendry. And Arya knew that if the very idea scared her, it must positively terrify him to do the same for Sansa.

And yet here he was, asking her to make the leap with him. She knew he loved Sansa, the big ugly brute, but something dramatic must have happened, to bring about such a change in the man during their time apart. Something that Arya wasn't quick to dismiss.

"Alright, let's say that I agree to go along with this plan: you owe me one last thing."

"Buggering hells. Out with it, then."

"You tell Sansa the truth."

"I've always told her the truth." He answered weakly.

"You know what I mean. Tell her that you love her, that you always have." Arya challenged him. "I've already broken the ice for you."

"What in the Seven hells-"

"I already told her that you wouldn't bloody shut up about her the entire time you held me. That every night it was "your pretty sister" this and "the pretty bird" that and when you were dying, you said - "

"Alright ENOUGH! You're going to be the fucking death of me yet." Clegane's voice scattered the ravens perched above them. "I'll speak to her."

"As soon as we get to Winterfell." Arya insisted.

"Yes! Bloody fuck! The northern gods cursed the Baratheon boy with you!"

Arya laughed out loud. "And they cursed Sansa with you! Now enough of your fooling, let's go home."

"Aye, lass. To home, then."

#sandor clegane #arya stark #gotsandorclegane #sansan #got s8 fix it fic #ficlet

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nightowlfandom · 5 years

Text

The Kings’ Pet Princess- Royal! BTS x Reader Series Part 3- Jungkook 1

REQUEST FROM PROMPT LIST- RIGHT HERE! (I do anime stuff toooo)

READ PART ONE | READ PART TWO (NAMJOON)

SURPRISE!! THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO COME OUT TOMORROW BUT DECIDED WHAT THE HECK

YOOOO CHECK OUT THIS SICK AF COVER. I SCREAMED WHEN I SAW TO BE HONEST LOL! THIS COVER WAS MADE BY @kpop-ruined-my-social-life

AAAH thank you thank you THANK YOU. Okay I gotta stop fangirling and get to the writing but AAAH LOOK AT IT IT’S SO COOL I LOVE IT!!!

Leggo!

...

You peeked around the corner, making sure the coast was clear before you bolted down the next hallway. All you had to do was make it to your bedroom then you would be fine.

You could still feel the effects from earlier’s...sequence of events seeping in and all you wanted to do was take a bath and clean the guilt from your body.

You also might need some tea due to all the screaming.

You shut your bedroom door behind you, letting out a harsh exhale. You squeezed your legs together. You were a bit twitchy, off edge. What were you thinking?! You let yourself submit to that...beast!

So what if his finger’s were that of a god, so what if you could still feel his lips burning every area of your body. So what if-

ARGH GET IT TOGETHER.

“I need a bath...or a flamethrower.” you scolded yourself. “From now on, no allowing yourself to get seduced! ...No Matter no good it might feel.” you crossed your arms.

....

The next morning, you awoke not feeling any better. Before you could sit up, there was a knock on the door.

“Who are you and what do you want?!” you groaned.

“It’s me.” you heard Rina’s small voice. Upon hearing her, you sat up. “Good Morning Y/N! I was told to inform you that breakfast starts soon.”

You rolled out of bed, feeling your head pounding as you rubbed the sleep from your eyes. “Great.” you mumbled. You didn’t know how you were gonna face Namjoon, especially after your little activity from yesterday. You had made sure to literally soak yourself in the bathtub for a good while, just to wash away the guilt...not that it worked but it was the thought that counted.

You pulled a sweater over your head, hoping to cover the newly made marks and bruises that were now your new body decor.

You readied yourself to head down to the dining room, crossing your arms and staying completely silent. It looked like you were the first one awake, so you chose the seat closest to the exit where you could book it for your room need anything happen.

One by one they all walked in. It gave you a chance to really study their faces. You looked back down at your fingers, just wanting this to be over.

Curiously, just out of wonder...you looked to your right. Jungkook was staring at you with a smug and wistful look on his face, as if he has an idea. Almost as if he had a plan slowly unraveling in his head. He smirked as soon as your eyes met and gave you a wink, making you look down at your plate. You felt your cheeks heat up. He was really close, so your that if you had moved a little, your leg would brush against his knuckles.

Jungkook had intimidated you and he knew it. Ever since you laid eyes on him, you knew that he had made sure to establish his dominance over the kingdom, especially seeing that he was the youngest king, he had to show out more. Of course you would be the youngest queen, but also the only queen...with seven villains to call your kings.

You were quiet, you couldn’t be bothered to respond to Hoseok’s snide remarks about the type of queen who would wear jeans shorts as day clothes. Or Seokjin taking some more of your favorite side dish off your plate.

“Y/N...What’s that on your shoulder?” Jungkook got your attention. You had looked down. Your sweater had fallen off your shoulder a little and right there was a bruise. Fuck! Think damnit! You felt his fingertips ghost over your exposed skin, leaning his face in to get close.

“I uh-...er...I tripped?” you trailed off. “Yeah I was walking to my room and I...just fell?” You didn’t believe your own words because you know good and well how you got that bruise.

You could still feel the imprint of Namjoon’s teeth sinking into your flesh, it made your toes curl.

“Is that so?” Namjoon, who had been sitting across from you smirked. “Perhaps you should be more careful next time, you never know what else could happen if you aren’t careful.”

“Thanks for the tip.” you clenched your teeth. “So thoughtful.” you mumbled. “If you guys are finished making fun of me for my clumsiness, can I go now?”

“You may.” they all chorused.

Little did you know, Namjoon had kept your diary, and had passed it along to the next man who wanted a taste of your secrets. (As if the title wasn’t spoiler enough smh) and who planned on using to to his advantage.

...

“I’m sorry what?!” you stared at the horrible eyesore of a dress Rina held up in front of you.

“It’s for your Welcoming Party.” she repeated herself.

“No I know what you said but I refuse to wear that!” you shook your head at the floor length midnight blue gown, “That think doesn’t look like it covers anything!”

Apparently there was a gala tonight to celebrate the merging of your two kingdoms as allies, that part you were fine with, but the dress that was made for you to wear...

“It’s backless, it’s supposed to look like this. “ Rina giggled at you. “It’s definitely dramatic, but it was specially tailored for this event.”

“YOUR POINT BEING?!” You stared at the eyesore. It didn’t look anything like any of your dresses, especially with the unsightly slit going up one of the legs. “Rina I can’t wear this...look at that then look at me.”

“Come over here.” she grabbed your hand and pulled you to the mirror. “Imagine you stand at the edge of the stairs, everyone is waiting for their new queen to arrive, they look up and they see your in your new custom made crown and this bad boy.” she held up the dress. “ With a little bit of jewelry and the crowd won’t be able to resist you.”

“...Are you sure about this?” you sighed, although you admit the dress did look familiar, like you’ve seen it in a dream before.

“Trust me.” she put an arm around you. You and Rina seemed to have already become good friends, and while you thought the idea was crazy, you trusted her. “I may be a maid but my family owns a dress shop, I know what looks good on someone and Midnight Blue is one of those things that any woman and wear and feel amazing in it.” she held it up to your body. “Plus this thing cost almost as much as the room you’re standing in so for you not to wear it would be an insult to the dress maker.”

“Okay then.” you nodded.

...

“Y/N stop moving!” Rina scolded you.

“Listen the earrings I can deal with, but is the choker necessary?” you asked as a thin leather strap was placed around your neck.

“You’re gonna look fine, calm down.” Rina rolled her eyes at you. “Are the people from your kingdom all like this?”

“Well I don’t really wear a lot of dark gowns...I never got the chance to-”

Rina pushed you in front of the mirror. The woman staring back at you was wearing black strappy heels. Your dress was tight around the waist and did and Rina said it was and almost completely backless. Your hair was decorated with a diamond encrusted hairpin that matched the single pendant hanging from four necklace choker.

“Ah! I have just the thing to make this even better.” she grabbed a jar and what looked like a thin paint brush. “This is called magic tattoo ink, it’s almost like henna but instead of waiting and crumbling it off, this goes right into the skin.”

“What are you thinking of doing back there?” you asked in horror as you felt a cold sensation wash over your back.

“Covering up your bruises with flowers.” Rina casually commented. “Flowers are a huge thing here in Bangtan, especially red and black roses. How did you even get so beat up anyways?”

“You wouldn’t believe me.” you shook your head, almost shuddering. “How many people are showing up to this party anyways?”

“More than half of the kingdom and some people from neighboring ones too. Everyone’s dying to see the girl who is going to end this big feud and you...are going to wow them. They’ll be expecting the least of you, so you have to show them way more than you think.” she replied. “This is course is your welcoming party.”

“More like pity party” you mumbled.

...

The men of Bangtan welcomed their guests as men of their stature do. They casually made small chats with their friends from other countries.

“Where do you think Y/N went?” Jimin whispered to Jungkook and the rest of the boys.

‘Probably hiding from us.” Jungkook scoffed, allowing an obnoxious laugh to rip from his throat. “I don’t think these kids of parties are herstyle.

“Do you think she’s not gonna come?” Taehyung whisper. “Maybe she’s hiding under her bed while the maid convinces her to come outside.”

“I wouldn’t say that.” Seokjin’s jaw dropped, pointing to the stairs.

The lights dimmed slighted and everyone averted their eyes to the stairs. You stood at the top, gazing over the scouring the room. Rina was right, there were so many people here. They were all looking at you. Rina had done a fantastic job using that ink stuff to cover up the bruises Namjoon had made on your skin. Your hair, neatly styled almost shimmered against the hanging lights. You stood at the bottom of the stairs, not knowing where to go. Everyone was staring at you. They definitely didn’t expect someone, especially from YOUR kingdom of all places to dress as you were dress right now. You shyly walked down the little aisle that was cleared for you. Geez had no one seen you in a dress before?

“Looking for someone?”

You turned around to find Jungkook standing in front of you, a smile etched on his face.

“Not really?” you scratched the back of your neck. You took note of how he was dressed head to toe in a black tuxedo. “I don’t think...”

“Well then will you do me the honor of giving me the first dance?” he held out his hand for you to take. “Come now, I wouldn’t do anything sneaky. We’re in public after all.”

Jungkook led you to the middle of the floor. Other women seemed to stare at you, beating themselves up for not thinking to wear such an eye-catching number. It seemed as you were the only person wearing that very color in the room.

“I think this is a good damn to mention I can’t dance” you narrowed your eyes at Jungkook who placed his hand on the curve at the bottom of your back. “It wasn’t in my studies.”

“Then shut up...and follow me.” he whispered in your ear. Slowly you let Jungkook lead, until it began to feel eerily natural how well you could follow. “You sure know how to make an entrance.”

“You sure how how to pick a dress.” you mumbled as Jungkook dipped his head into the crooked of your neck and inhaled, your back froze and you felt a sting shoot up your spine.

“You’re wearing perfume, it’s nice.” he commented, letting his nose linger to inhale your scent even more.

“It’s native to my kingdom.” you replied. “It’s rare amongst my people since only 14 have ever been sold and I just so happen to have six of them.” you chuckled. You were taken aback when Jungkook began kissing up your neck. Since you two were so close, it might have only looked like he was leaned his head on your shoulder. You felt his teeth graze against his skin and you didn’t dare move. His hips hovered over your ear.

“Seeing you look like this makes me wish we could do more, but I’d prefer us be alone when I take you.” he whispered. Your eyes widened and his fingertips traced up your back. His lips traced up and down your neck as you two moved against each other. You tilted your head to the side a little, almost mocking him.

“Oh really, you don’t enjoy PDA.” you said in a joking manner, but you were only referring to his inability to keep his hands off your exposed back. “Are we done here?”

Suddenly you were turned around and your back hit his chest. His arms wrapped around your waist as you two moved.

“Not really.” he chuckled. Your ass was right up against his groin. “Although,” he began. “I think your fellow kings are a bit jealous...I wonder what would happen if I kissed you right in front of them, do you thing that would driv em crazy?”

“What makes you think I’d let you?” you seethed, glaring at him the best you could.

“You haven’t tried to push me away yet.” he replied.

“I would comment but I’m sure that would cause a minor disturbance.” you shook your head, only wishing you could fire back. “I really wish I could kick you right no-”

Jungkook’s teeth sunk into your neck, making your gasp and shake under his touch. How bold was he?! He tongue glided over your newly formed bruise, making you shut your eyes. You were turned towards him, meeting his dark eyes as he connected his lips with your, sliding his tongu ethrough the gap in your mouth for dominance.

He didn’t care about the stares he received, or the head shakes of disapproval. This was his castle damnit, if anyone had a problem he would kill them without another word.No one dared comment, or try to pull you away. The kings of Bangtan were very territorial and it would only be a matter of time before you were marked by the rest.

“This feels right.” he commented. “You belong here...in this castle, in my arms while everyone stares in envy.” he whispered into your ear, his lips hovering over the shell of your ear. you could hear a mocking pout in his voice. You could feel the eyes of the other kings on your. Jealousy laced their gazes seeing you melt into Jungkook’s touch so naturally, Lucky bastard, not only did he get the first dance of the night, but you looked like you were enjoying it no less! Jungkook looked up at he friends, making a shrugging motion.

“I wish I could see the look on your face right now” you almost growled.

The party didn’t bore you to no end like you thought it would, you actually ended up meeting a few people who seemed nice enough. However the evening was going on and your feet were starting to hurt. You decided to make yourself scarce to avoid being told how ‘brave you were’ for the 27th damn time. You ended up walking into a strange room away from the festivities. As soon as the door closed, it got completely quiet. It felt nice, the silence was relaxing. You could finally sit down and breathe-

“I thought I’d find you here.” a voice made you turn around. Before you could react, your back had found a wall. You looked up and found Jungkook towering over you. “Not having fun?”

“I wouldn’t say th-” you stopped yourself from speaking when you noticed Jungkook getting closer and closer to your face. “i don’t know.” you mumbled.

“Hm, then how can I make tonight exciting for you?” he raised an eyebrow in interest, a smirk teasing his lips as he waited for your answer. He would have to remember to thank Namjoon for loaning him your diary that you seem to love leaving in random places. ”Because I might have an idea” he replied, tilting your head up with his fingertips.

“What are you ta-”

Jungkook kissed your lips, trapping your body against him and he wall. The slit up the side of your dress gave Jungkook the perfect opportunity to slide his hand up your thigh, digging his fingers into your flesh. You leg had hooked around his hip, which caused you to feel the pressure of his groin right up against your stomach. Absentmindedly, you had grinded against him, sending a low groan ripping through his body.

“Hm, while I’d love to rip this dress off you right now, I’m sure people are wondering where we’ve went, but something tells me you wouldn’t mind.” he breathed, pressing himself further against you.

“Um, I can’t confirm nor deny.” you tried to make yourself sound convincing, and Jungkook’s tongue traced down the length of your neck. Jungkook hiked up your dress even more. he gathered the fabric in his fist, his knuckles turning white.

“Since you’ve been so well behaved tonight.” he grabbed you leg and hooked it around his hip. “Why don’t I treat you to something.”

“Like?” you trailed off. To be honest, you were a fool. As if your escapades with Namjoon didn’t teach your anything, you were totally oblivious to Jungkook’s words.

“Hm, well let’s start by-” Jungkook ripped the slit up your dress, making the slit stop at your hip instead of your thigh, once more inch and your dress would be completely opened at the seams. “Getting that out of the way. “

“Umm don’t you have a party to get back to?” You asked, whilst your movements when against everything you were saying.

“Oh Y/N....the party is just getting started between us.”

(It took me a while and I skipped a night of sleep but I DID IT, I am not 100% proud of this, but I plan on redeeming myself in the next part. Also yes, no smut, but only because I am preparing for something and it might make sense later on, it might not, who the fuck knows but just wait for it.

We’re only on part 3 and we have a long way to go.

I’m thinking about making this more than 8 parts, so like two rounds of imagines for each guy in this series, so that gives up 14 parts in all not including the prologue. That good with y’all, great because I was doing it anyways.)

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gunnerpalace · 4 years

Note

So how would you rewrite it? I think you said something about doing that?

That would be the subject of Hyperchlorate Part III. (Part II again being detailing everything that went wrong, and Part I being going over what made the story unique.)

In essence there are the four major changes I would make to Bleach:

Radically expand upon (and show, don’t tell) character relations in the story. We are repeatedly told that so and so are friends, or family, or colleagues, or whatever, and we essentially never see it (outside of Tatsuki and Orihime at the very beginning). It’s critical to caring about and interlinking the characters and seeing them grow and develop. For example, someone made a point that the Xcution arc demonstrates Ichigo’s bonds with Soul Society are stronger than with his own friends. That’s true, and you can see it in the Japanese cultural context of him using their first names (even for Toushirou!) whereas he keeps calling Uryuu and Orihime by Ishida and Inoue. There’s a definite social distance there. But it’s a subtle thing. And it really needs to not be subtle. There needs to be a lot more interactions between characters; plenty of characters literally never interact at all, and plenty of characters look fucking terrible for their apparent gross negligence that serves zero point other than to maintain the Mystery Boxes (here’s looking at you, Isshin, Ryuuken, and Kisuke).

Recontextualize everything after the Soul Society arc. I am not opposed to certain places, people, or concepts (e.g., Hueco Mundo, the Espada, Fullbring, the Soul King, etc.) but the way they were introduced and handled was, frankly, garbage. Arrancar, at least, were set up rather early on. The rest… was a bunch of ex nihilo shit. It came out of nowhere with no setup. I also don’t really enjoy the thematic inversion of Hueco Mundo seemingly purely for the sake of subverting expectations. So, I would restructure everything that happens after that point in gross detail.

Refit, standardize, and clearly and consistently implement and allude to the grand plot. If there was going to be some grand purpose to the Bleach universe, it needed to be made clear textually, not just thematically, throughout the story. It needs to be set up to the reader, if not to the characters, very early on so they “get” what everything is building toward. That absolutely was not done.

Having a real ending that actually involves our protagonists making a substantive change. I’ve definitely been over this before.

That’s all well and good, right? So what sort of things would I actually look to change?

As an example of the high-level stuff… In terms of narrative, internal consistency, and plot, the whole Substitute Shinigami thing makes no fucking sense. It makes literally zero sense that Ginjou was the first one in several thousand years, and Ichigo was only the second. It makes zero sense that a technique to transfer powers to humans exists and is taught at the academy, can be known to have a “low chance of success,” and then made a crime when it’s happened a grand total of two times, unless it was all a long con just to catch Ginjou, and in that case it’s dumb because he doesn’t matter. (We’re supposed to believe Soul Society allows Hollows to run roughshod everywhere but they’re really obsessed about catching this one dude but not enough to actually task anyone powerful to go do it? No, none of that makes sense.)

It also doesn’t make any sense that there are only a grand total of 6,000 to 7,000 Shinigami to patrol its nebulously defined area of responsibility. (Is it the whole world? Is it just Japan? If the latter, are there other Soul Societies? If the former, where are the foreigners? Sure seem to be a lot of people who look foreign, but they all have Japanese names and speak Japanese in a manga that clearly at least recognizes Mexico. Why would foreigners accept a feudal Japanese afterlife? This is another small example of what I mean by the grand plot being fucked.)

It also doesn’t make a lot of sense that the only Shinigami worth a damn are Captains, Lieutenants, and the occasional Seated Officer. (This is canonical, by the way.) Almost all of them are total trash who would lose to the most basic bitch Hollow, let alone an Arrancar. Meanwhile, your average Quincy can mop the floor with all three.

You know what would make a lot more sense, and work better with what’s on paper? Here are some ramblings from my notes on this subject:

i think it’s sorta like… you wanna mirror the structure of the Hollows; Shinigami as a whole are like Menos, although they are almost all Arrancar (there could be some very low-ranked/new Shinigami who do not have shikai, these would be the “rookies”), whereas substitute Shinigami are like masked Hollows, with some overlap into Gillians/Menos Grande

- Captains (General Officers) are at the level of the Espada (with obvious differences among them correlating to Espada generated from Vasto Lordes and Adjuchas)- Lieutenants (Staff Officers) are at the level of the Privaron Espada and some of the stronger fracciones- Seated Officers (Officers) are at the level of most fracciones and wild Adjuchas [sometimes from the 4th Seat up are more on the level of the above, e.g., Ikkaku and Yumichika]- Unseated Officers (NCOs) are at the level of weak fracciones, or on the order of holding off a Gillian- Substitute Shinigami (Enlisted) are at the level of individual Hollows

Substitute Shinigami are basically what Soul Society sets up to deal with the Living World rather than directly intervening, because “they have better shit to do;” they’re probably set up like a secret society of beat cops, and yeah, if the Shinigami proper notice spiritually sensitive people while setting up new districts or maintaining their assigned ones, they shank'em and induct'em (usually these people attract Hollows anyway so it’s a “become one of our grunts or die” type deal; maybe if they refuse, the Shinigami kill them instead for shirking their duties?)Hollows aren’t the only spooky thing running around in the night either; they’re probably relatively rare, and other weird shit like revenants and ghosts are more common

i also have some notes here about how it’d be cool if Substitute Shinigami were like, an established thingand were expendable gruntswith actual Shinigami being rather more elite, even if they’re not seatedlike it’s XCOM with supernatural shithaving shikai should be a big fucking deal; even knowing kidou should be like, impressiveyour average Hollow should be equivalent to a Substitute Shinigamian unseated Shinigami should be like a Menos Grandea Shinigami good at kidou and a weak zanpakutou should be like a weak Arrancara seated Shinigami should be like a medium Arrancar and know shikai for surelieutenants should be like Privaron Espadaand captains should be like the Espada (or higher)

I could go on, but I think you get the idea. My first big change to Bleach would be dispensing with the concept of substitutes as being rare. They should be the main interface for the human world (and expendable, and have a high turnover rate). Rukia being there should be A Big Deal. (Have her sent there specifically to monitor things, like a Commissar? To look for Grand Fisher? Whatever.)

Ginjou, were he to exist, would then need a different backstory, but that would be real easy to build out.

As an example of additional character interaction, I’ve already detailed my idea that Kisuke and Yoruichi should be Rukia’s surrogate parents. (And solving the problem of when Rukia got the Hogyouku.)

As another example, it has never made sense to me that Rukia is the one that stays to fight Shrieker while she tells Ichigo to take Karin home. Rukia knows her powers are iffy at best, and should know better. She damn near almost dies (along with Chad) for no reason other than… ??? For dramatic tension and to reveal Chad can attack Hollows, I guess. Even Ichigo calls her out on it. It should’ve been flipped, with Karin revealing things to Rukia and learning about her, and that should be built into Karin repeatedly noticing the two of them (which was never, ever paid off in any fashion whatsoever). This is just one example of more moments of character interaction outside of fights.

As an example of reworking things, I like the ideas of turning the hunt for Aizen into something more like Apocalypse Now, that Aizen kidnaps Karin and Yuzu instead of Orihime, and that his hideout is deep in Rukongai instead of Hueco Mundo:

in one of these posts, @icchiruki was like, Aizen shouldn’t have run off to Hueco Mundohe should’ve run into Rukongaiand that’s geniusbecause it makes him more sympathetic because they have a legit reason to be aggrieved with Soul Societyand also lets us see the other side of the coinwhich, conveniently, leads toward my idea of the HM arc as being more like Heart of Darkness/Apocalypse Now, with Aizen as the equivalent of Kurtz out among the Montagnardsand also lets there be some spooky eldritch shit like whatever was going on with Ukitake and folk belief in TYBW, but less out-of-nowherebecause it’s pretty clear that whatever’s going on with the divine in Bleach is fuckin’ weird and Lovecraftianwhich can tie into that other bit of work i was doing with “where does all this come from anyway”so you stitch it all together and pull the seams snug and you get an actual expansive worldthen you keep the focus squarely on Ichigo, Rukia, and co., as they navigate through itthe further out into Rukongai you go, the weirder it should get; Shinigami should also routinely get sent to Hueco Mundo (both of these being the more important shit they gotta deal with) and recon and do stuff there; Hueco Mundo itself should be less empty wasteland, more kind of weird dark mirror of Soul Societylike a Kill Six Billion Demons type deal

These are just examples. I could go on.

tl;dr Make Bleach much longer and more personable and personally relatable, show your hand on some of the mysteries and backstories much earlier, and make it simultaneously more fuckin’ weird and more human.

#Asks #Bleach

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fangirlinsweden · 4 years

Text

Never Mess with Voodoo Part 2

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader

Warnings: Voodoo, magical things, money problems, angst

Word Count:

Square Filled: Fairytale AU for @star-spangled-bingo

Summary: Prince Steven visits New Orleans and gets tangled with a Voodoo Curse and running for his life. Y/N gets messed up in his curse and together they try to find a way to break the course and free their new friends they made during the journey.

A/N: New series for the @star-spangled-bingo. I think it will be about 5 parts. It is based on the Disney movie The Princess and the frog. But it is my twist of things.

Also today it’s been a year since Stan Lee past away and I wrote this series him in mind. So I have written him into the story, as a cameo.

I would like to thank @allaboutthebooz for her support and motivation. And I would also like to thank @kaunis-sielu and @banditthewriter for there insight in how they write and deal with things. If you have not read any of there work, you really should check it out!!

You had spent the last couple of days baking a thousand Beignets and now you feel exhausted, but you had promised Virginia to be at her masquerade and you kept your promises. Virginia had been so giddy when you met her the other day and so sure that Prince Steven would fall madly in love with her. You were not so sure. Not that Virginia was not lovely, but did love at first sight really happen? Maybe Prince Steven would become Virginia's husband in the future or her friend might make an ass out of herself as she goes after her dreams at becoming a real princess. You hoped for the first and if you could you would try and make sure that the last one did not happen. Your costume was one of a simple farm girl because it was a costume you found in your closet. No need to spend money on a new costume. The money needed to go to your dream and nothing else. You knew Virginia would not be happy with your costume, but that she would get over it.

You packed everything together and walked out to the car that Virginia's father, Robert, had sent to pick you up. Robert was a sweetheart and you knew that he was worried about you living in your neighbourhood, but you had refused to accept his help at living somewhere else. You needed to take care of yourself. It was a thing about pride for you. He had even offered you move in with him and Virginia at the mansion, but it was too far to your jobs from there. You greeted the driver and he helped you put everything in the car and then you were off to the party.

When you arrived at the mansion the preparations for the party was in full swing. Virginia was walking around all the servers in a beautiful pale pink ball gown and she had a tiara on her head that glistered in the light. It didn't surprise you that she was dressed as a princess. “Oh, Y/N,” Virginia said as she hurried over to you. “I am so glad that you are here.” She gave you a big hug. “Where else would I be,” You hugged her back. “I am just so nervous,” she admits and drags you towards the snack table where servers are plating your Beignets. “You have nothing to be nervous about,” You say and squeeze her hand. “You look beautiful, the part looks fantastic and you are going to meet a prince. What more can you ask for?” Virginia looks away and it sounded like she sobbed. “What is wrong?” you ask and she turns around. You can see the tears in her eyes. “I need to tell you something…” Virginia starts saying when her father comes over and interrupts. Virginia looks away from her father and blinks away her tears. “Y/N, you came,” He laughs and pulls you into a hug. “Hey, there Robert,” you laugh. “Or should I call you King Robert?” He laughs and realises you from his arms. “I am not the King until tomorrow,” Robert winks at you. “Then I will just wait until tomorrow,” You smile at him. Virginia is quiet, just standing there which was not like her. “Still nervous, my dear?” Robert asks his daughter. She smiles at her father and shakes her head. “Not now that Y/N is here,” she answers and lay her arm around your shoulders. “Although I wish she would have a more eye-catching costume on.” “You know the reason behind my clothes,” you look down at your feet, feeling your face heat up. You hated this. “I know,” Virginia pulls you a bit closer. “I just wish you would let me spoil you sometimes.” You make a waving gesture with your hand and they drop it. They know you well enough to know what you have said if you had continued talking. You wanted to be independent and not live on your friends. Yes, you could probably ask Robert for a loan for the restaurant, but it just felt wrong not to earn your own money. Robert and his family had worked hard for generations to have the riches they had now. You wanted to do that as well, without shortcuts. The band that was going to play at the party arrived and Virginia says she needs to deal with them, but that she would be back soon. “I think it is time that you change before Virginia comes back and scolds at you,” you smirk at Robert. He laughs a big belly laugh. “You are so right, my dear Y/N,” Robert looks around. “Save me a dance later on.” You promise and he walks up the stairs. You twirl around looking at all the pretty lights and feel better than you had in a while. Being with your friends always helped get your spirit up.

The party was in full swing around you. People were dressed as pirates, mermaids, ghosts and famous people. Robert was dressed as Julius Caesar. You were looking for Virginia because you had not seen her for a while. During the party, men had asked her to dance the whole night, but she had still not accepted a single one, that wasn't her father. She was no were to be seen as you walked around the party. Just as you were about to go ask Robert if he had seen his daughter you saw her standing away from people in the shadows. You hurried over. “Virginia, I been looking for you,” You say as you come closer to her. Her eyes were watery and there were watermarks down her cheeks. In her hand she had a paper tissue that has been torn and twisted. It was clenched in her hand. “Are you all right?” you whisper out. You knew Virginia would not want anyone to see her like this. “No. I am not. I can’t believe this. I am stood up by a man I never even met. I am stood up again,” Virginia brings the hand with the tissue up to her chest, not looking at you. “Maybe he will be here soon,” you try and make her feel better. Trying to figure out who could have stood her up in the past. It was not something you had heard about before. Virginia shifts her eyes up to the sky. “Please, please,” she whispers out as a tear falls down her cheek. You quietly dry it with your thumb. It did not feel like she was wishing for Prince Steven. “Virginia, I am sorry,” you say and take her hand. “I don’t think that will work.” “It always worked before,” Virginia said. “Or almost always.” She looks away from your eyes. The heartbroken look on her face over the wish that had not come true, that you wondered what it could have been? There goes a whisper through the party and someone announces that Prince Steven of Maldonia has arrived at the party. Virginia’s whip around with wide-open eyes. You can see her father walks over to the prince. She dries away her tears with her hand and looks at you. “How do I look?” she asks you and you give her a smile. “Beautiful as always,” you answer honestly. She gives you a big smile, but it does not really reach her eyes. She walks through the crowd and to her father and Prince Steven. You stand in the sidelines and look on as she bows to him and he kisses her hand. You had to admit he was gorgeous. You were not surprised when he walks out on the dancefloor with Virginia. They looked beautiful together. There is a small tug in your chest. You wanted to find someone to share your life with, but you wanted to be a successful first. Because who would want you as you were? A waiter with hardly any money that worked all the time. You did not have time for dating and falling in love not now.

Virginia was still dancing around with Prince Steven an hour later. They looked beautiful together and you would believe that Virginia would have a big smile on her face, and she had a smile on, but it seemed fake. To think of it, Virginia had not been herself the whole night and if she thought back to her friend had been acting kind of different for a long time now. It was as she was putting on a happy front for everyone to see. Her smile did not reach her eyes and her laugh was just a tone of. You turn around to walk over to the snack table. A group of men are talking loudly to the right of you and one of the men are eyeing you. It makes a cold shiver go through your body. It was as if he thought you were a part of the snacks served at the party. You take one of your Beignets and take a bit. It melted on your tongue, which made you really happy. It was a recipe from your father and it was going to be on the menu on your restaurant. You decide to take a glass of punch so you make your way over to the bar, but the men that been talking loudly start walking towards you, so you step to your side, but still one of the men walk right into you and you can feel a cold wet sensation over your upper body. It felt sticky as well. “Look where you are going,” you mutter at the partygoer that just dumped a whole glass of punch over you. “Sorry, I did not see you,” the man smirks and looks down at you. “Go along and give me a new glass of punch.” You ball your hands into fists. “I am not here as a server, I am a guest.” you grit your teeth, “Could have fooled me with that outfit,” the man snicker at you. You take a step forward. You hated when people looked down on you. Virginia hurried up to you and the man. “Y/N, come along with me now,” Virginia says and drags you away from the man. You don't see but she makes a gesture to two of your friends to escort the man from the party. “Let’s get you out of these wet clothes. I have the perfect dress for you in my room,” Virginia guides you into the mansion and up the stairs. You don’t fight her. “I am so sorry for that moron down there,” Virginia says as you walk into Virginia's bedroom. “It’s okay Virginia,” you look down at the floor. “Maybe I should just go home.” “Absolutely not,” Virginia says determinedly. “I need my best friend here with me tonight.” You nod and smile at her. “I saw you dance with Prince Steven,” you say and she looks down at the floor. “He is really something else,” Virginia mutters. “Not what you had thought?” you tilt your head to the side. “I.. I just..,” Virginia starts and walks over to one of her wardrobes. “You know you can tell me anything,” You say and walk over to her. “Please tell me what it was you wanted to tell me earlier.” Virginia shakes her head. “Not tonight,” she says and starts going through her closet. “I just can’t tonight. Can we talk about it after Mardi Gras?” “Of course,” You say and she hands you a beautiful light blue shimmering dress. “Just know I am here for you.” She nods hands you a tiara and begs you to get changed and come down to the party. You agree and she leaves you alone.

30 minutes later you stood dressed in the shimmering light blue dressed and a tiara that hat looked like it was made out of diamonds and silver. If you knew your friend it probably was. You were ready to join the party again, but something was holding you back. You look at your reflection in the mirror. Had you ever been dressed in something so beautiful before? You sigh and walked over to the balcony doors and opened them and stepped out in the moonlight. Maybe Virginia was right? Maybe all she needed to do was wish upon the brightest star in the sky and all her dreams would come true. It couldn't hurt to try, could it? You found the brightest star and closed your eyes and wished for your restaurant. After a while, you opened your eyes and nothing was different. How long until you knew if it worked? “Excuse me,” you heard a tiny voice. You looked around but saw nobody. “Down here,” the voice said and you looked down at the floor. You let out a yelp. On the floor sat a green frog. Was it the frog that had talked? Can frogs talk or am I going insane? I really must be tired, hallucinating. But then it happens again. The frog opens his mouth and says: “I am Prince Steven of Maldonia, but you can call me Steve,” the frog bows to you. You let out a scream and run into Virginia’s room. The frog hops after you so you take up the closest thing to you, which is Virginia’s favourite book when they grew up. A book full of fairy tales. “Wait, don’t hit me,” the frog screams out. You stop with the book above your head. “Give me one good reason why I should not.” The book is still over your head and you are ready to toss it at the frog. “I will not hurt you,” Steve said with his hands raised up in the air. “I don’t believe you,” you narrow your eyes on the frog. “And how can you be Prince Steven? Virginia is dancing with him right now.” “I don’t know who that is, I am the real Prince Steven,” Steve says still with his hands in the air. “Please, I just want to be a human again. I am not going to hurt you, I promise.” “Well, that is not something I can help you with,” you slowly lower the book and place it on a table. Because what could a frog do to you? Steve jumps up on the table. He looks down at the book. “Maybe you can,” he says and stamps on the book. “What do you mean?” you raise an eyebrow to him. “Kiss me and I will be human again,” Steve winks at you. “No, never!” You take a step back, scrunching up your face. “Oh, come on, Princess” Steve begs. “Just one little kiss, it won’t kill you.” “I won’t kiss a frog,” you cross your arms over your chest. “If you kiss me I will marry you,” the frog Steve told you looking up at you. “I don’t need a prince or a knight in shining armour.” You say and raises your chin in the air. “Then what do you need?” Steve asks and takes a slow hop closer to you. A sigh is heard in the room. Should you really tell a frog your problems? “What I need is money to open my own restaurant.” You look down at the floor, feeling defeated. “If you kiss me, I can get you all the money you want,” the frog answered, with what looked like a grin. “I am rich.” He looked almost proud if a frog could look proud. “So all I need to do is to kiss you,” you muttered. “Kiss a frog and get all the money I need.” The frog nodded. “This sounds almost too good to be true, but what do I get to lose?” You crutch down and pick up the frog. The frog is slimy and kind of gross. Are you really going to kiss a frog? Yes, you are. There was always soap and water to wash your mouth after. After placing Steve on the dresser you close your eyes and inches your mouth closer to the frog. Just as your lips are going to touch you open your eyes and see the frog up and close, so you jump back. “Juck, juck, juck,” you get out and when you look at Steve, he looks almost hurt. Can a frog look hurt? You don’t say a word, just steady yourself for the kiss. You close your eyes and promise yourself that you will keep them closed this time. You go down for the kiss and when your lips meet there is a light and then everything becomes black.

~ *~*~*~ *~*~*~ *~*~*~ *~ *~*~*~ *~*~*~

Taglist:

@kaithezaftig

@lumar014

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dehvastation · 4 years

Text

Unexpected Family Time (With @BrotherCuckoo)

Murh: I got off my bike, gently rubbing my back and ass. I was used to my bike and riding but on the last day of riding had been a long one since I refuse to stop longer than it took me to fill up the tank and get back on the road. I wanted to get to Caldwel before sunrise and preferably long enough before sunrise so I could stop by that place where they hosted the big yearly Glymera dinner. The idea of being in the same room as those snobs had chills running down my back but it had to be done so I could talk to Wrath. I knew Wrath wasn't pissed enough at me that he kill me on the spot but he might not throw me a coming home party either. This dinner was tonight and in full swing forcing me to keep riding until I got there, hence my now sore arse.

I looked across the street and at the large building and stairs leading up to the double doors leading into the hall and reception hall. I imagined they were all there, my brothers… my brothers in arms, at least they used to be. My heart skipped a beat, a nervous flutter of something ran through my body at the idea of meeting people I hadn’t seen in decades, well at least years. But I was looking forward to it. Over the years I'd become lonely and missed the crazy days of belonging having some sort of family and comradery, a place where you were a part of something. Even a loan ranger needed a place to call home from time to time.

As I stood there thinking of my once Brothers, thinking of family, I was reminded of my meeting with Dehv…. “Oh, shit...the long lost son…” or something all those years ago. It made me cringe a little of an uneasiness that I felt knowing I'd sired a son I didn't know. It wasn’t so much him per se but the fact that he was my blood. So weird, like awkwardly weird and how the fuck was that possible “a female going through her needing that is how, dumbass.” Yeah, that shit was hard to ignore even if better males managed to do so quite often.

Taking a deep breath I head for the door stairs taking them two at a time and taking me through the large doors taking me inside. It was late enough that the dinner was over and people were spread out talking, drinking and dancing. It was easy enough for me to sneak in unnoticed. Inside it was hot, the air smelling like food and expensive perfume. I walk deeper inside the large ballroom until it opens up before me and I stop and take in the sea of people dancing, drinking and having fun. The music is louder in here and pumping to the rhythm of my nervous heart that has some fluttery speed to it, jumping wildly at times only to slow down for a few minutes.

My eyes scan the room looking for someone or someones in particular and it isn’t until I see them and I let out a breath. A breath I didn’t know I’d been holding. The Brothers, not quite all of them but some and there are a few faces I don’t recognize at all and there among them all is not only Wrath but Dehv. The person I hadn’t thought of having to meet again when I decided to relocate back to Cardwell, a person I had no idea how to deal with or if I wanted to deal with him. I was /not/ ready to be a father and I wasn’t sure I ever would be.

Dehv: ~ I was still twitching and angry. Arguing with Qhuinn wasn’t how I’d wanted to start my day, but equally doing the meet and greet stuff wasn’t what I was used to doing. Not that I minded doing it, if everyone else was doing it. But while they were all armed to the nines, leather in place and game faces on. I was stuck in this suit with a smile on my face. A cane in my pocket should my eyesight crap out so I could find my way to the nearest wall and wait until it came back again. If there was a proper threat, I was to hit the ground or run with everyone else. No way was I allowed to help or get in the way. While that might not have been exactly what had been said, I knew that was the message. I brushed my hands down my tailored suit. It fit me like a glove and I knew that I probably wore something that was more expensive than have the dresses in the place. I didn’t care, I spent my money because otherwise it’d sit gathering dust. I could be pissy and still look good doing it.

I pushed from the room that the Brothers, trainees and the King had been given as a place to leave any unneeded stuff. Though there wasn’t a single thing left behind. No one bought anything out they couldn’t carry easily on their person. I knew that the atmosphere seemed tense to anyone who stepped into the place, and it was likely the persona that needed to be given off. The “we’ll fuck you up” message that no one could fail to notice. I looked around the faces, and then oomphed when Davidson stepped up beside me and Nhick slapped my back. Both of them looking at me and then over at Qhuinn, their brows rising in silent questions, the biggest one being answered when they tugged at my tie. “Yeah, we argued. As you are fully aware. And I am armed, just not as well as you lot. Rub it in. Once my sight is back properly I’ll be back to kick your ass in training.” Both laughed and shook their heads. The ‘you wish’ and ‘over my dead body’ was heard loudly in the quiet room. I snorted and shoved at them both before making my way towards to door. I glanced once at Qhuinn and then stepped into the main room to do my duty.

I did a slow circle of the room, checking all the windows and door mostly out of habit. Then I got to the main entrance. Everyone was dressed up and happily accepting the free alcohol as they entered. It was a real no expense spared kind of event and I could see almost immediately which groups and families stuck together. The glances, talking and random look around the place only shushed when Wrath was announced. I leaned against the door jam and watched as the King made his way to his table and the Brotherhood took up their stance. I barely noticed anyone else when Qhuinn came out with them, and I managed to catch Nhick’s eyes once. The mouth quirk and wink not missed. I rolled my eyes and turned away just in time to catch sight of someone else who I hadn’t thought I’d ever see again. I had his black daggers at home, unable to wear them with the suit.

I felt my mouth pop open and the party seemed to dim to a low buzzing around me. I wasn’t sure if he’d seen me or not. I hadn’t look at him while he was looking at me. But I’d thought he was dead, or gone or whatever. It wasn’t like he’d been my dad in more than biology. I had made it to the male I was without any input from parents or family. But it was still like I’d been slapped in the face. I was angry that he’d just turned up without giving some warning. Though that wasn’t in any way rational. I was halfway across the room before I even noticed what I was doing. When I almost ran into one of the females serving various nibbles before the main meal I pulled up short. Breath hammering out of me like I’d run a marathon. “Fuck, I’m sorry.” The gasp let me know that swearing wasn’t in the glymera code book and I lifted my eyes to the ceiling with a slow breath to calm myself. “I apologise, female. Please carry on. Let me know if I can do anything to help.” The change in tone seemed to do the job. I tried my biggest smile and watched as she dipped her head and then moved off to circulate. I focused my attention back on Murhder and decided to slowly make my way in his direction rather than beeline there. Seeing why he was here seemed like it would work in my favour rather than go against me. ~

Murhder:

My attention was drawn from Dehv to Wrath as he entered the stage ready to make a speech. It wasn’t Dehv’s lack of appeal so to speak doing it but the fact that still after all this time Wrath was one of the most intimidating and huge males I’d ever seen. He always sort of scared me back when. Rumor had it that after mating this Elisabeth chick he sort of mellowed down a notch or two, his darker days and kill first ask questions later, was bygones. Those were the roomers, seeing him I couldn’t say if I believed it or not he still looked just a huge and scary as fucking ever.

I swallowed once, then twice to get the lump in my throat to finally go away. I didn’t know what kind of reaction me being there would give me, but one could guess it most likely wouldn’t be all red carpet and hugs. I’d left, many times before, but the one time that counted the most which was decades ago when they needed me the most and never turned back. I knew they were aware of my coming and going the few times I’d been back in Caldwell in the past, it wasn’t like I hid it from them. I once trusted them with my life, and I still did. And I knew Dehv must have told them about our meeting…. And after all Wrath was the one to give my daggers to him too.

My eyes scanned across the stage taking in the faces of the males I once called brothers and somewhere inside I was hoping I could call this again. I was going to have to grovel and show I meant what I said, that I was back for good this time. I was prepared to do it.

I practised my speech many times and I knew this was it, the one thing that was missing from my life. The one thing that would help keeping the voices and ghosts abay.

I lifted my half empty glass to my lips and as I did, I could see from the corner of my eye someone moving towards me. I turned to look, my breath catching in my throat and my hand stopping halfway to my face.

“Oh, shit!” Dehv was moving towards me and the look he had on his face didn’t look like he was going to hug me and call me ‘old man’, nope it looked more like he was ready to kick my ass and maybe use my own daggers on me. “For fuck sake…” I muttered to myself. This wasn’t what I needed tonight I had other fish to fry but then again what did I expect. I knew he was a trainee, I knew from keeping half a track on his progress that he was doing really well too and if he was any blood of mine then backing off and backing down was not in his genes.

Keeping my eyes at him, I took a deep drink from my glass of whiskey, following him as he strode towards me, determination in his eyes. Damn this lad was going to chew me a new one.

Dehv: ~ I glanced once more at the man sitting at the bar. I knew he’s seen me too, I could feel his eyes in my back every time I worked through the room. It was my job, to ensure everyone was happy and had what they wanted. To check those coming through the door and make sure there was nothing suspicious going on. Then to report back if I needed to. I shot a quick glance at Murder and then moved towards the Brotherhood table, meeting Rhage part way when he stepped out of line and lifted a brow at me. “Something wrong?” I shook my head and jerked my thumb over my right shoulder. “Murhder’s here. Figured you’d already seen him, but I wanted to report back in case someone figured I hadn’t seen him.” I might have raised my voice just slightly at the mention of seeing him in order to antagonise Qhuinn. I saw the fact it wasn’t lose on Rhage. His face didn’t change, couldn’t have anyone in the crowd knowing the Brotherhood had a sense of humour. Instead his eyes fired with humour and he snorted almost silently. “Yeah, I’ll pass it on. All messages received loud and clear. Get back to work.” I nodded and moved away again. I made my way back to the door and checked in with the females taking invitations and checking off names as the elite of the glymera made their way into the event of the year. The fact Wrath was turning up wasn’t something that happened often. To also have trainees here along with the Brotherhood meant that many families could show off their young within the programme. It was the talk of a lot of the little huddles that I’d moved past. Not all the Trainees were glymera though. Some were older and had long ago moved out and were making their own way in life. But the programme hadn’t been available to them previously, so it was good fortune to many that they’d started taking trainees who were willing and capable. And I’d been given a bit of a step up when I’d found out my heritage, and I guessed despite the fact I’d only met him once, I really didn’t want a father. I’d done just fine without one. But I couldn’t turn away someone who might have ties to the Brotherhood and who might want their property back. So I sucked it up and made my way back around to the male. I was itching to ask why he felt the needs to disappear off the map. Make me think he was dead. Was he that fucking terrified I’d want to crawl into his lap for some father/son time. I mean, really! I snorted to myself and then planted myself beside him. I met his gaze and arched a brow before circling my finger to signal the event. “You figured now was a good time to rise from the dead? What are you doing here, Murhder?” ~

Murh:

I cringed a bit at the icy ton in his voice. I didn’t know what I’d expected, not that I’d expected much at all. I was a shattered brain half the time, especially when I had little to nothing to do, and that was the main reason I was here to find my purpose again, to get back in the game, shape up and move up; to take responsibility for my actions and the survival of the race once more and all that shit. For the first time in my life I felt lonely and I wanted to belong somewhere and to do that I knew I would have to deal with not just the Brothers scepticism but deal with Dehv’s...yes Dehv’s what. I was searching his face for any emotion that would give me a clue to what it was that he was feeling. Was it anger, disappointment, sadness, or simply if he wanted to kick my ass?

I prolonged my answer by taking a drink from my glass, letting out a sigh, oh fuck it, here goes. I met Dehv’s gaze, refusing to look away even if the kid did put the living fright in me. Few did, but he was one of them and for obvious reasons. I’d prefer meeting any of the Brothers pissed and ready to kill me in a dark alley any day. Meeting Dehv, my blood and flesh, in a lit up ballroom was scary as fuck.

“You mean there was a better time? At least here I won’t be killed at the spot. No one would make a scene at an event like this.” I was pretty sure that wasn’t the answer Dehv wanted and I was just as convinced that he would roll his eyes or contenplate knocking me out for playing stupid but really it was the truth. Was it cowardly of me to show up uninvited, sure, but really with my track record I was going to need all the help I could get just to get Wrath and the rest of the Brothers to talk to me and hear me out.

Yep, there was that ‘don’t be a crazy fuck asshole’.

“Ok, kid” his eyes narrowed at the nickname so I corrected myself “Dehv… look I know I haven’t given you any reason to like me or trust me but I’m not here to cause a scene.” I chose my next words carefully “I’m here to make amends and prove myself to you and them.” I nod in the Brothers direction. I wasn’t stupid enough to think I’d gone unnoticed. “So whatever it is that you need from me to feel comfortable around me, name it.” I swallowed, hell I done it now, offering over my life to be chopped. I took another swipe of my drink, well it was too late to take it back. Now I just had to deal with the consequences.

Dehv: ~ I felt my jaw drop. The emotions that played over his face, even his eyes were telling me more than I wanted to know. I didn’t hate him, I didn’t even really feel anything to connect us. I’d lost my family early in life, and while 100 years wasn’t all that much for our kind, it was still something that dulled the sharp edges of pain and suffering. When I found out that there might be more to my blood than what I thought, I’d been excited. I’d assumed maybe I’d have some family in Caldwell that I might get to know. Brothers, sisters, cousins, parents perhaps. I’d lived long enough in the human world to see just how close relatives could be. While we weren’t ever able to have siblings close in age, with the gestation time for a baby along with the fact pregnancy can’t happen unless a female is in their needing. Humans had it far easier when it came to procreation. Less lucky when it came to aging, and the less than impressive years that they had to live. Though I’d still enjoyed working my way up in their business world and making friends along the way. Even heartaches as they’d died hadn’t dampened my enjoyment of it. Matthew’s being the biggest so far. So that call to say that my blood had matched someone in the system when I’d first hurt myself once I’d arrived in town had really set my heart racing. When I’d found out that I was the blood kin of a Brother I’d not really understood the significance. Now I did, but the excitement had worn thin after we’d met and then I’d assumed he’d died. Now the asshole was sitting right in front of me as if nothing had happened. Usually I’d be pissed off beyond measure, in this case I was just resigned. I wasn’t about to ask for more than a professional relationship. He’s just confirmed it was what he was looking for, and I was more than happy to accept that.

I shook my head at the nickname, though I really wasn’t surprised. I didn’t take it as sentimental, I knew it was a turn of phrase. But I was glad when he changed it to my name. I wasn’t at a place where I appreciated nicknames from him. “You’re right, they’ll not make a scene here. I think even if you’d have turned up at the mase you’d have been given an audience. They seemed upset when they were presenting me with your daggers. Which I am assuming you’ll want back so you can use them to fight? I have them at home, I’ve looked after them.” I nodded. Hoping that if I was ever honoured enough to make it into the Brotherhood I’d get my own daggers. Though I wasn’t pushing for that. I liked where I was and the path I was taking. “I barely know you. But trust can be earned, and liking isn’t a requirement of that. I dislike plenty of the trainees, but I trust them. There’s no real need to prove yourself to me. You don’t want a kid, and I don’t need a father. Though as a Brother with a hell of a lot of knowledge and experience I’ll never turn down that.” I looked around at the Brotherhood, my gaze landing on Qhuinn briefly. I was still pissed with him for getting me benched, but I knew that I was drawn to him when I was thinking or uncertain. I could fake it well, but I was better at admitting he calmed me now. I breathed deeply and then blinked as my eyes started to sting. I almost turned away, almost decided I’d rather rush and hide, but instead I signaled to Rhage and then cleared my throat. “I was injured recently. I’m about to lose my sight, would you care if I joined you for a drink while I wait on it to pass?” ~

Murhder:

“Ouch! That hurt!” I could feel myself flinch a little at his straightforward reply “Tell them they taught you well, you sure know how to stab it right in and twist it good.” I said trying to smile as genuinely as I could to cover up the fact that his words actually did sting. I hadn’t expected anything else as a matter of fact I’d expected a far lot worse than I’d just been given yet still it bothered me that the only person alive that shared my blood I had no relationship too. He was right I didn’t want a kid, not per say, I wasn’t what you call father material but at the same time complete utter ignorance didn’t really sit well with me either. Fuck this family shit was complicated and I be damned if I could figure it out!

“No, no, keep the daggers. I like you to have them. I mean unless you are dying to get rid of them for some reason.” Maybe they carried no sentiment value for him and if they didn’t they were damn good daggers and I might as well take them back.

I followed his glance over to where some of the brother’s where standing, a male who looked a similar age as Dehv stood, I had never met him but if memory serves me right it had to be Qhuinn since I assumed the ginger next to him was Blay, he always was the easiest one to keep track of. I couldn’t help but wonder what was going on there, what was the story between Qhuinn and Dehv?” my glass was half way to my lips when he said he was going blind and he said it so matter of factly it almost passed me by.

“Wait! What? You’re what now, boing blind?! Why the hell for and wait for it to pass?!” I watched him as he slipped onto the bar stool next to mine. I signaled the bartender from across the bar “Ok, what are you having, Dehv, and tell me all of it from the beginning and while you’re at it why don’t you tell me what is going on between you and Qhuinn? And that is just because I’m being nosy.”

Dehv: ~ I shook my head at the sarcasm. I wasn’t sure if it was to hide something deeper, or just to rile me up. Whatever the reason, the reaction was the same. I growled slightly before I caught myself. So much to answer and so many conflicting emotions. To tell him about Qhuinn, about my injury or to kick his ass about the daggers. I figured I’d go in order and try to keep my temper in some kind of check. First I ordered a coke from the barman, since I was still on duty and then scrubbed my knuckles over my eyes. The vision in them already hazy as it started to go. “I am old enough to not need a father, but if you want to know about me, get to know me. I’ll not say no to that. Though I am unsure as to why you felt you had to make me believe a father I never knew I had, and had only met once, was dead. The daggers are special to me. A connection to a past I didn’t know I had. But I don’t use them often, I don’t want to lose them. I’m hopeful at some point I might get my own set too. I’d love to keep them, but I also know how much they mean to the other brothers, so if you want yours back, I can do that.” I wanted to offer the choice. I hated my inability to lie in that moment. I wished I could just say I didn’t give a shit and walk away. But I was stuck here until my sight came back, so I might as well make him as uncomfortable as I was.

Qhuinn was his next question, that wasn’t hard to answer. Even with the anger still burning in my gut. I bypassed my injuries. That was an easy one to answer and wasn’t something that was a bother. Qhuinn I liked talking about. It made me smile even with the want to punch him in the face all over again. “Qhuinn and I met a while ago. It’s a long and weird story, but we’re bonded. I grew up in the human world, so I haven’t had a huge education about all things our kind. I knew enough to get through my transition and have someone to feed from each month. I hadn’t expected to find him when I joined the trainee programme. And I’m probably older than most of the other trainees. But I can fight and I want to. Being of your blood didn’t hurt my argument either.” I tipped my head in the males direction. Fingers finding the glass in front of me hesitantly before I brought it to my lips. Tipping slowly so I didn’t dump the contents on my lap by going too fast. I exhaled slowly when I managed to get a couple of good mouthfuls and then lowered it back to the counter. My unfocused gaze drifting back towards Qhuinn, or where I thought Qhuinn might still be, despite not being able to see him. “My sight is a normal injury thing. I went out on a call, got caught up in something and because of that I’ve got damage to my eyes. It comes and goes, I think as my body tries to fix it. It’s getting better, but slowly. It just means that sometimes my eyesight claps out again. But I am looking after myself. I’ve not been able to train, so this is my first time out for a few weeks. I promised I’d get myself somewhere safe if my eyes stopped working and then work around that. I figure being here with you is safe, am I right?” I ran my fingers over the pattern inscribed on the glass in my hand while I spoke. Falling quiet after I’d answered the various questions. I wondered if he would ask for his daggers back, or if I was going to get some kind of talk about being bonded to another male. I never even thought twice about saying it, but not everyone was on board with our lifestyle. I waited a beat and then just asked, “You want back into the Brotherhood?” ~

Murhder:

I tried to pay attention to what Dehv was telling me and even though I heard most of it a lot of my focus was at where the brothers were standing. It wasn’t because what Dehv was saying wasn’t interesting but damn those were my brothers or used to be at least. And seeing them it did something inside of me that was a mix of pain and happiness mixed together feeling I wasn’t to intouched with. I hadn’t spent a lot of time the past years dealing with my feelings or rather I had the past year but the years before it had been filled with hiding and denial mixed with drinking. My reasons for disappearing in the first place was the same as staying gone and as Dehv was so keenly accusing me off pretending to be dead, I lost my fucking mind or at least that’s what it felt like. A lot of things had gone bad really fast, with Xhex, with the brothers and faster than I’d been prepared for things har spiraled down and shit blown up. The next thing I remembered I been on my bike riding out of Caldwell never to speak to anyone again. Years passed and soon years became decades. And suddenly here I was basically ready to get on my knees and grovel. Geeze. I put my glass of whiskey to my lips drinking down about half of it hoping it would calm my nerves some. And then there was the joker in the game, Dehv, I hadn’t thought about him being here or not wanting to think about it because that might have been the deal breaker of actually getting me through the door.

I suddenly choked on my drink as Dehv’s words passed through my conscience he was bonded to a male, no shit! I coughed, spurting part of my drink on my chin making Dehv’s eyes squint together in that you have something you like to say out loud. I held up a hand in the air while wiping off my face with the back of the other. “I’m sorry. You just caught me off guard.” Did I tell him I shared his attraction to the same sex even if I didn’t put to much thought into the sex of my partern at all and as I realized through out the years it was more a type of personality I was attracted to. “I don’t care that you are bonded to a male. I was just surprised the Brotherhood was that open minded… or rather she…” I waved my hand trying to find a way of mentioning her the larger being without actually using her name. She still put the freak in me, the Scribe Virgin… a shudder went through me but I knew I had to find a way to deal with that if I wanted a chance to get back in with the Brothers. “Congratulations to your mating” I offered with a smile raising my glass in salute.

“The daggers, they do mean a lot, but I like you to keep them but for fuck sake use them,” I tried for a joke “And when you get a pair of your own you have a good back up pair.” Right now I didn’t feel like I had the right to use them and for whatever strange feeling even if I had no dying need to be Dehv’s dad with whatever came with that title it was sorta nice knowing if this all went to shit he had something that meant a great deal to both of us that connected us. I wasn’t surprised when Dehv asked me about wanting back in with the Brothers. I turning to face him meeting his gaze. “Yes, I am. I know I left never to look back and stayed gone for the same reasons. I was wrong and want… no I need to come back.” Dehv was looking sceptical and I really couldn’t blame him. I swallowed my pride with the next sip of my drink. “I realized when I finally faced some of my demons that leaving in the first place was my biggest mistake. Being a Brother a fighter of our race is what keeps me grounded. I need it, I need them… all of you, to belong. I mean maybe if this all ends well” I nodded in the direction of them “you can teach me some of your fighting tricks and I can show you some of mine. How about it?”

Dehv: ~ I was sure my eyes widened in shock at the drink going haywire. I wasn’t really sure. I knew that I reacted more freely when I couldn’t see, mainly because I wasn’t able to react to the person in front of me. I didn’t know Murhder like I did the other brothers or trainees. I’d have been able to read them more freely. As it was, the drink going all over me, and I assumed the bar, made my stomach knot. I know I sure as shit frowned at the reaction. I licked over my lips nervously and waited. I wasn’t going to fly off the handle at the whole thing. But I did wait with baited breath. I might not have wanted a father in my life, but a Brother of his reputation was someone I still wanted some kind of acceptance from maybe? I didn’t want to look at myself too deeply, but it would seem that his approval was still something I was happy to take if it was given. Disappointing him would sting, even if it was something I wouldn’t change and would think less of him for having issue with.

I almost spat my own drink out when he congratulated me on my mating. I shook my head and cleared my throat. “Um, bonded not mated. We’re bonded. Mating hasn’t come up….we’ve not really gotten around to talking about anything to do with that. I sort of asked him to move in together recently, but past that I’m still learning. He’s busy with the Brotherhood and training. I think it’s the last thing on his mind right now.” I nodded and smiled before bringing the glass to my lips again. I swallowed down the dregs in the bottom of the tumbler and then settled it on the mat that I felt out with my other hand. I hated that little ring mark on wood, and that transferred to pubs, bars and other peoples homes. I’d hold a glass if I visited somewhere and they didn’t have coasters for me to put my drink on. Or fold my napkin if I was at a dinner table without the ability. I smiled at the thought of the dagggers. “I thought you were dead, so I was keeping them as a memento. But if you’re alive and well, and you don’t want them back, I’ll try them out. I know they’re designed just for you, so I might not manage to use them quite as well as you. But I can try.” I chuckled without too much humour. I’d never thought to use them out in the field. I’d heard rumours that had been confirmed when I’d been given the daggers after the announcement that he’d died. Vishous was a genius that would forge the daggers for each Brother as they were inducted into the Brotherhood. I really hoped that one day Qhuinn was part of that very specific group.

I laughed for real when Murhder started talking about needing the Brotherhood and wanting to spar together sometime. Honestly, I’d not even thought this would be more than a quick conversation and then off to never see him again. Not that I was seeing much of him as it was. I shook my head and then sobered the best I could. “I wasn’t prepared for that. But yeah, I can do that. Not that I’ve learned anything you won’t know, I’ll do my best to keep up. I’ll let you speak with the Brothers and then you will likely know the training schedule. Hit me up and we can work out a day when we’re both free to use the gym.” I nodded and inclined my head. “I better go and find a nice wall to blend into. I can’t look like I’m doing nothing after the pissing match I got into before I came here when they tried to bench me.” I stood and pulled the cane from my pocket. I tapped it a couple of times on the floor and then checked my bearings before pausing one last time. “Good luck with them. I hope you get what you’re looking for.” I smiled and clumsily patted his shoulder before making my way across the floor to the wall closest to the room where coats were being checked into. I slipped into the quiet space and breathed out harshly. The night wasn’t going at all as I’d expected. ~ #UnexpectedFamilyTime

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hizzalot · 4 years

Text

Murhder: 02. Unexpected Family Time by @Dehvastation and @BrotherCuckoo

Murhder:

I practised my speech many times and I knew this was it, the one thing that was missing from my life. The one thing that would help keeping the voices and ghosts abay.

Keeping my eyes at him, I took a deep drink from my glass of whiskey, following him as he strode towards me, determination in his eyes. Damn this lad was going to chew me a new one.

Murh:

Yep, there was that ‘don’t be a crazy fuck asshole’.

Murhder:

#BDB Murhder UnexpectedFamilyTime Dehvastation

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