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ckiine · 1 year

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Their secret (#Dove in the bedroom 1)

A/N - Hello everyone. Please read the previous post to understand the title. It has potential for follow up chapters. Please let me know if you guys want a follow up!

Why does this keep happening to us Shinichi?

Ran pondered. She was leaning by the window sill. It was way past midnight but she couldn't fall sleep. Her eyes were moist and full of tears.

Why are you so mean to me? You liar.....

The more she though of him the more upset she was becoming.

It's not good for me to feel depressed like this, I should go to the park for some fresh air tomorrow.

Ran wiped off her remaining tears and gulped some water and went to bed. It felt cold and desolate.

He is not here to warm me up.

Ran sighed hopelessly feeling her resolve crumble within minutes, a few tears slipped from her eyes but she managed to fall asleep. It was not very restful and she kept waking every hour or so but in the early morning hours sleep had completely overtaken her and she had finally dozed away till noon.

Ran woke up to a grumbling stomach, completely disoriented, sluggish and slightly feverish.

I really need to eat something. It has been a quite a while since I last ate.

She trudged to the kitchen and whipped up some omelettes for herself.

Currently after a huge fight with Shinichi, she was staying at the now semi-vacant home, her mother's residence.

After Shinichi and Ran had gotten married, her parents had taken a rather mature decision, it was to get back together and surprisingly, irrespective of their stubbornness the two were living quite well and even managed to work on cases as well. But not surprisingly, they would still get into fights and sometimes Eri would come back to her old apartment to 'cool off and mentally rejuvenate herself. '

Currently it was Ran who needed it. After her fight with Shinichi, she was the one who needed space. It had been three days since she came here, but she just couldn't seem to control her feelings this time around.

I also need to go to the doctor.

She looked at the watch and it was quarter to one.

I should book the appointment for 2:30 I guess.

******

Ran wrapped herself in her woolens and went to the Beika hospital. It was a cold and windy November. The roads were quite clear as the lunch hour was mostly over. On her way to the clinic she thought about her fight with Shinichi, going over it for the nth time now.

"Why didnt you tell me?!" Ran asked anxiously.

"It really was not much to tell, honestly, I swear, it happened only two or three times." Shinichi tried to talk in a placating tone.

"Two to three times?!? Ran wanted to yell at him but she could only manage a whisper as she paled considerably at his statement and her feet wobbled under her. Shinichi cringed and rushed towards her.

He gently held her and made her sit on the couch and kneeled in front of her so that they were on eye level. Ran had lost all her strength.

"You promised me! You promised me that you will tell me. Why would you hide something like this?!" Ran broke into tears and softly pounded on his chest.

"I was going to tell you, but I also first needed to understand the situation myself, that's why I didnt say anything." Shinichi said slowly, wiping away her tears, his own face a little somber, serious but most of all sincere.

"Why can't I bring myself to believe you?" Ran asked him sadly.

"You will tell me, but only when it is done and over with." Shinichi flinched at her statement, but couldn't argue back.

"Kudo Shinichi, my darling husband, one day might have randomly died, leaving me a widow and I may be the last one to find out." Ran's eyes were blank and glassy still free flowing with tears.

Shinichi's face completely reflected his heartbreak but his body couldn't even move under her grief-stricken gaze.

"I am tired Shinichi." She spoke softly. Ran felt a little dizzy but she went in the bedroom and tried to fall asleep. Shinichi kept kneeling at his place for a while but eventually went back to the bedroom. He looked at her sleeping form, her eyebrows were furrowed and she looked even more pale.

Shinichi bit his lips in distress and his face was shadowed but eventually got in the covers.

I missed you Ran. I wanted to come home to you as soon as possible. But why is it that I make you cry so much when the only thing I want is to see you smile brightly?

He pulled her in an embrace, their warmth mingled and Ran's expression eased up well. Shinichi gently kissed her forehead and they both went off to sleep. Shinichi had woken up late the next morning to an empty bed and an empty home. But the most painful was his terribly lonely heart and he himself was to blame for that.

She had been desperately waiting for him to come back. Shinichi had been called to investigate a case in Sapporo. He was gone for two weeks and in that two weeks Ran had been delighted to find out that she expecting a little guest. She was overcome with joy but held back on telling him on the phone. She wanted to see, the look on his face, she wanted to throw her arms around him and sink into his warmth. Share a gentle and a tender kiss on this newfound knowledge of their upcoming parenthood. She couldn't wait for him to come back.

But it didn't go that way, because she found another thing Shinichi had hidden from her.

The drugs (the poison and the antidote) that he had ingested, sometimes wrecked havoc in his body. Shinichi had randomly started to suffer from phantoms pains, severe fever, muscle spasms and shivers. He would also have dizzy spells and breathlessness. He had discussed it with Ai-chan who had sent a primary investigation report. It was only by chance that Ran came to know about it.

She was stunned and horrified to read the report especially when it listed the possibility of paralysis and necrosis and even death if the cause and symptoms are not dealt with. She had been unable to breath after reading the report, the crippling pain in her chest had completely paralyzed her in fear.

To top it all off when she had confronted him about it, he tried to show nonchalance over the entire thing and tried to brush it under the carpet. Somehow she was so exhausted and tired that this time around she went away from him. Shinichi needless to say had found her in half a day and pleaded her to come home but this time she needed time. She had understood his reasons the last time but she was not ready ready to forgive him this time or maybe because she was too high on her pregnancy hormones. Shinichi settled on giving her some space.

It had been three days since then and he still didn't know about the pregnancy. Ran reached the clinic. It was full of women in their various stages of pregnancies. With a pang she noted that most of them were accompanied by their spouses. Ran sat down in the corner waiting for her turn. When it was her turn to go in a woman screamed. All the patients got worried and the attendant came running. They moved her to the emergency section and proceeded with the emergency procedures to stabilize the woman and the baby. It was close to 3:15 when it was Ran's turn thankfully she had packed some snacks with her so she was not hungry.

She went inside the cabin, "Good afternoon Ayako-sensei." Ran spoke politely.

"Afternoon. Sorry about the previous patient, she has a complicated pregnancy so we are being very cautious with her."

"Oh not at all. It was an emergency. I understand."

"So how have you been feeling?"

*******

After her consultations Ran was a mix of elation and misery. She was very extremely happy but she had to talk to Shinichi and sort this out. She went to a nearby café and warmed up with hot chocolate. With chaotic thoughts coming to her mind she eventually settled with having a proper chat with him. Ran affectionately rubbed her belly thinking of him.

He is such a reckless idiot but I know more than anyone else how much he loves me. Little baby, papa is going to be very happy. I cant wait for all of us to be together again.

She got up and decided on a light stroll in the park near her home and then go back. Due to winters it had gotten dark already though the park was well lit, it was quite and empty. Ran felt a sudden chill down her spine and decided to leave. As she turned towards the exit, she heard footsteps behind her. Ran's instincts kicked in telling her that it was not a 'friend'.

"Hand over you cash missy." Came a gruff voice behind her. It has strongly smelling of alcohol but Ran was frozen because even under her thick coats she clearly felt the sharp edge of the knife digging in her back.

"Ran-san. last time you told me that your husband had taken some very strong unprescribed drugs and we dont know how that has affected his reproductive health."

"Women need to be careful in the first three months of pregnancy but I advise you to take extra caution. Try to be as carful as possible with your movements."

Ran remembered Dr. Ayako's words and stilled. But even before that a motherly instinct had ferociously overtaken her.

I must protect the baby.

"Take whatever you want, but please let me go." Ran spoke with a tremor in her voice.

The man behind me is drunk but aggressive if I do something suspicious he might get violent and randomly attack me.

"Turn around slowly with you hands up in the air." He ordered.

Ran complied and turned to face him. The knife was now digging at her throat and she felt a faint pain, most likely her skin was cut.

"Hand over your phone and the wallet."

Ran complied and handed it over. The phone looked nice and expensive but the robber wanted to check for the cash but for some reason he felt threatened by the woman in front of him.

She was somehow looking afraid and fearless at the same time.

Tch. I better take care of her, she looks like bad news for some reason.

He pocketed her phone and the wallet and glared at the woman in front of him. He felt his pride hurt that the young missy in front of him was keeping eye contact and had not broken down in tears

"Please let me go now."

His glare intensified and Ran flinched when she felt his intension. On instinct she moved back and to the side but the knife ended up slashing her on her upper arm but the man didn't stop there. In a frenzied state he kept attacking Ran. Ran kept one hand on her, protectively on her belly and the with a her other hand kept blocking him with her outside block. The parries continued for a while but now the robber had his vicious gleam on her stomach. Ran felt the danger and before she could think she curled protectively and desperately called out to him.

SHINICHIIII!!!!!

The knife missed her by a hair's breath and Ran took a tumble to the ground where she lay breathing heavily and now shaking in fear. The robber was about to stab her again but suddenly sensed some movement in the bushes and fled. Ran was lying on the ground and took deep breaths to calm herself but it was not working very well.

I need him. I need to talk to him. Shinichi, I really want to see you.

Somehow that thought pushed her and she got up. Her arms and legs felt like jelly and she was trembling all over. Ran took a moment to calm herself and decided to hurry up. If the robber decides to come back and attack again or is waiting for another opportunity to attack her then it wont end well this time.

Pale faced and trembling Ran somehow made it out of the park and managed to reach a convenience store.

"I was attacked, may I please use your phone to call the police?"

"Oh dear of course." It was a middle aged lady in there and when saw Ran she rushed towards her and guided her to sit down and brought a phone.

Ran knew she was supposed to call the police she even knew the number and a lot of police officers too but the one she dialed was someone else, a number she knew by heart.

She heard the ring and she felt her heart throbbing painfully.

"Hello?"

She heard his voice, it sounded slow, cautious and guarded. This was Shinichi's private number and a very few select of people had this number. So a call from an unknown number made him wary.

Ran couldn't speak, her throat was burning and her eyes were glassy. Ran felt that not talking to him and putting distance was definitely more of a punishment to her.

"Hello?" He called again this a time a little louder.

"Shinichi~" Ran called out in a small voice.

"Ran?!?"

"How? Where are you? Which number is this? Are you alright? Is something the matter? Do you know I have calling you, why are you not picking up your phone?"

She heard the worry, the anxiety and the desperation in his voice and her heart ached to be near him.

"Shinichi, I-I-I was robbed in the nearby park and-"

"You were robbed?!?" He nearly yelled. Ideally that should have surprised him because Ran was strong enough to fight off against even armed gang members but his mind always went haywire when Ran was involved.

"Where are you right now? Are you safe? Are you hurt? Is someone with you? I am coming right away."

Ran reassured him, mentioned the address and waited for him. The lady chatted with Ran for a while trying to ease her nerves and gave her a first aid to the slash on her arm. Thankfully it was not very deep due to her thick layers of sweater and a coat.

Little baby, papa is coming. He is going to be here soon and you and I will be safe and warm again.

Shinichi arrived in 15 minutes of the call. God knows how he drove but he came huffing and puffing. Shinichi looked pale and haggard. He rushed towards her and engulfed her in a tight hug, Ran finally breathed in a sigh of relief as well.

"Let's go to the doctor." He declared.

"No let's go home. Please." She spoke softly.

"Of course, Ran. Let's go." Shinichi hugged her tightly again.

Shinichi kept his detective side in check on their way back. and quickly drove home. It was cozy in the car and filled with his familiar scent and before she knew it, Ran had dozed off.

Shinichi was restless the entire day today for some reason. His stomach had been churning ominously as if something bad was gonna happen. He kept pacing in the house because he wanted give Ran some time to think but resisting the urge to bring her back home. But half an hour his anxiety got even worse and then suddenly he felt Ran calling out to him. It was such a desperate plea that he nearly lost it and called her continuously but no one answered making him even more worried. When he heard her small voice on the phone, he couldn't stop himself from trembling in fear.

Now his beloved was dozing off in the car seat next to him. He finally breathed a sigh of relief.

*******

Ran woke up to swaying motion. She opened her eyes to see the side profile of her handsome husband and a sleepy warm smile graced her face. Shinichi gently lay her down in the bed, he sat down next to her and gently caressed her face.

"Ran, I, you-you can be mad at me, ok? You have all the right to be mad at me but please don't go. Stay here. If you don't want to see me then I wont come in front of you but please don't go somewhere else." Shinichi mumbled softly.

"I didn't hide it from you on purpose. I-I just, you get so worried for me and I just end up worrying you even more. I don't want that. Seeing you in pain is just..."

Shinichi stopped talking, unable to finish the sentence, even the thought of it terrified him. His eyes shown a rare vulnerability. It was an expression which he showed only to her.

Ran sat up on the bed and pulled him in a hug which he immediately returned.

"You are such an idiot." Ran mumbled softly. They pulled apart a little and shared a tender kiss. They rested their foreheads against each other, feeling peaceful and content.

"You will be okay, wont you?" Ran asked with a whimper. Shinichi cupped her face with his hands and rubbed his fingers soothingly on her cheeks.

"I promise. I dont know what might happen but I will never ever leave you. I made a promise to you didnt I? Even if I die, I will come back, no matter what." His eyes were shining with utmost sincerity and assurance. Ran didn't look away from him. She placed her hand on top of his brought it to her lips. She kissed the inside of his palms, brought his hand down and placed his hand with hers on her chest over her heart.

"Ok. I believe you." She smiled at him which he returned.

"One more thing-" She added. and rested his hand on her stomach. Now is the time. "-make a promise here as well."

For a detective, it took a while for him click but the moment it did Shinichi burst in incredulous joy and swirled Ran in a exuberant hug making her laugh brightly. His happiness knew no bounds and in this rare moment Shinichi was the one with tears in his eyes while Ran merrily smiled away.

#dc #gosho aoyama #shinran #kawaii #longing heart #trust #promise #marriage

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vse-trainofthought · 2 years

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adlcrz · 2 years

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While waiting for the Episode 15 & 16 of Big Mouth and Episode 11 & 12 of If You Wish Upon Me, I started watching Longing Heart or My First Love starring Lee Jung Shin of CN Blue, this show was aired last 2018 and it has 10 episodes. I am currently on Episode 4 😊

#Longing Heart #My First Love #Lee Jung Shin #CN Blue #Korean #RomCom

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hamletthedane · 3 months

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I was meeting a client at a famous museum’s lounge for lunch (fancy, I know) and had an hour to kill afterwards so I joined the first random docent tour I could find. The woman who took us around was a great-grandmother from the Bronx “back when that was nothing to brag about” and she was doing a talk on alternative mediums within art.

What I thought that meant: telling us about unique sculpture materials and paint mixtures.

What that actually meant: an 84yo woman gingerly holding a beautifully beaded and embroidered dress (apparently from Ukraine and at least 200 years old) and, with tears in her eyes, showing how each individual thread was spun by hand and weaved into place on a cottage floor loom, with bright blue silk embroidery thread and hand-blown beads intricately piercing the work of other labor for days upon days, as the labor of a dozen talented people came together to make something so beautiful for a village girl’s wedding day.

What it also meant: in 1948, a young girl lived in a cramped tenement-like third floor apartment in Manhattan, with a father who had just joined them after not having been allowed to escape through Poland with his pregnant wife nine years earlier. She sits in her father’s lap and watches with wide, quiet eyes as her mother’s deft hands fly across fabric with bright blue silk thread (echoing hands from over a century years earlier). Thread that her mother had salvaged from white embroidery scraps at the tailor’s shop where she worked and spent the last few days carefully dying in the kitchen sink and drying on the roof.

The dress is in the traditional Hungarian fashion and is folded across her mother’s lap: her mother doesn’t had a pattern, but she doesn’t need one to make her daughter’s dress for the fifth grade dance. The dress would end up differing significantly from the pure white, petticoated first communion dresses worn by her daughter’s majority-Catholic classmates, but the young girl would love it all the more for its uniqueness and bright blue thread.

And now, that same young girl (and maybe also the villager from 19th century Ukraine) stands in front of us, trying not to clutch the old fabric too hard as her voice shakes with the emotion of all the love and humanity that is poured into the labor of art. The village girl and the girl in the Bronx were very different people: different centuries, different religions, different ages, and different continents. But the love in the stitches and beads on their dresses was the same. And she tells us that when we look at the labor of art, we don’t just see the work to create that piece - we see the labor of our own creations and the creations of others for us, and the value in something so seemingly frivolous.

But, maybe more importantly, she says that we only admire this piece in a museum because it happened to survive the love of the wearer and those who owned it afterwards, but there have been quite literally billions of small, quiet works of art in billions of small, quiet homes all over the world, for millennia. That your grandmother’s quilt is used as a picnic blanket just as Van Gogh’s works hung in his poor friends’ hallways. That your father’s hand-painted model plane sets are displayed in your parents’ livingroom as Grecian vases are displayed in museums. That your older sister’s engineering drawings in a steady, fine-lined hand are akin to Da Vinci’s scribbles of flying machines.

I don’t think there’s any dramatic conclusions to be drawn from these thoughts - they’ve been echoed by thousands of other people across the centuries. However, if you ever feel bad for spending all of your time sewing, knitting, drawing, building lego sets, or whatever else - especially if you feel like you have to somehow monetize or show off your work online to justify your labor - please know that there’s an 84yo museum docent in the Bronx who would cry simply at the thought of you spending so much effort to quietly create something that’s beautiful to you.

#shut up e #long post #Saturday thoughts #this has been in my drafts for a week haha #also this is the heart of why AI art feels so wrong #forget the discussion of copyright and theft etc - even if models were only trained on public domain they would still feel very wrong #because they’re not art. art is the labor of creation #even commercial art and art commissioned by the popes and kings of history: there is humanity in the labor of it #unrelated: I did not know living in the Bronx was now something to brag about. How the fuck do y’all New Yorkers afford this city???

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savagegood · 10 months

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"No matter what we do, we can't change the way people see us." "You changed the way you see me... didn't you?"

found family and some of the allegory in NIMONA (2023)

#firstly #long post #secondly... 'you're safe. we're home' ;___; my heart. that's her dad!!!! found family is my weakness #nimona #nimona movie #nd stevenson #nimonaedit #ballister blackheart #riz ahmed #chloe grace moretz #lgbt #lgbtq #transgender #nonbinary #genderfluid #nimona spoilers #*op

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hecatesdelights · 6 months

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"Longing"

#dark mermaid #sea longing #longing heart #mermaid art #mermaidcoreaesthetic #mermaid life #mermaid song #mermaid saga

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memesandmylife · 5 months

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it really is insane to me how in the mid 2010s netflix had a reputation of making cool, inclusive series as well as saving tv shows after their networks cancelled them, and now here we are today with every halfway decent netflix original show getting cancelled after 1-2 seasons and a bajillion episodes of bigmouth

#netflix #shadow and bone #six of crows #inside job #the get down #(the get down was a long ass time ago but that cancellation ripped my fucking heart out and i never trusted netflix again)#winsome’s wailings

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artsymeeshee · 25 days

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Been wanting to make something with Ford finding out about being aroace and who no better than Mabel. I feel like I could have elaborated more about it but there’s always time for that for future stuff!

#gravity falls #stanford pines #mabel pines #ford pines #sea grunks #grunkle ford #my art #comic #long post #sketches #ford & mabel bonding #aroace #aromantic #asexual #aroace ford has a special place in my heart #artsy’s attempt to write dialogue

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blueeyesfilledwithpassion · 4 months

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A Deep Feeling Indeed.

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lorehappy83 · 2 months

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"Grant me your wrath, my dear. For I've become unworthy of your forgiveness"

#cw blood #cw: blood #here we go again #ineffable angst #good omens #good omens fanart #aziracrow #aziraphale #anthony j crowley #crowley x aziraphale #the angel broke his heart #so now its his turn to do the same #there is a song perfect for this one #but i couldnt find it #long live angsty pieces #ineffable husbands #ineffable divorce

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burning-thistles-bt · 1 year

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New Chapter and One-shot!!!

Scourge Sees The Irony While Thistlestar Is Oblivious

then read Longing Heart!

oh! and there's only 3̸̧̜̪̼̗͈̪̠̩̅ left!

#lolling thoughts #bt chapters #burning thistles #burning thistles au #bt one-shot #longing heart #longtail #creekflower #princess #ear rip #ear rip ship #longcreek #creeklong #longprincess #princesslong #longtail x princess

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shadowtraveled · 2 months

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"mithrun is the only real monsterfucker in dungeon meshi" is objectively the funniest bit you can get out of his everything, but in all seriousness i think his attraction to his love interest is deliberately overstated—and that makes sense, because romantic jealousy is a classic and digestible motive, which is explicitly what kabru was aiming for in condensing mithrun's backstory, and also because until chapter 94, mithrun wasn't willing to admit to the true nature of his desires.

but because romantic envy is both classic and digestible, it probably isn’t a unique enough or complicated enough desire to tempt a demon’s appetite. mithrun’s wish, as far as we can figure from kabru’s reduced retelling, was to have a life in which he had never become one of the canaries, and that carries like 3857 implications and desires within it. that’s delicious. his love interest acts as sort of a red herring to his motivation for making it, though. (side note: i'm saying "love interest" here because, keeping in mind that i barely speak japanese on a good day anymore, "想い人" is something i'd usually take as just kind of an old-fashioned and romantic way to refer to a lover, but in context i wonder if both the connotation of yearning and the vagueness are intentional, and i think this phrasing gets those aspects of it more effectively. anyway.)

mithrun considered his love interest to be untrustworthy. there was a minute where i thought that comment might be about a similar-looking elf (yugin, one of his squad members), but comparing the two…

the "sketchy" arrow is definitely referring to the elf we know as his love interest—the bangs go toward her right, she only has the one forehead ornament, and, most notably, her ears aren't notched.

every time she’s given a full-body depiction in his dungeon, she’s drawn as a chimera, with the body of a snake from the waist down. (side note: the “what if a dungeon has chimeras before reaching level 4?”/“then the dungeon lord is unstable” exchange just being mithrun grilling his past self alive is so funny. he’s so. but anyway) there are a couple things about this.

first, the snake part of the chimera appears to be modeled after some species of coral snake mimic

which, in the biology-for-fun manga, i… doubt is a coincidence, especially with the added context of the “untrustworthy” comment. the dungeon’s conjured illusion of mithrun’s love interest was a harmless copycat of a venomous original. for whatever reason, he felt this person was a threat and made up a "safe" version of her to be in a relationship with, and while it’s definitely possible to be attracted to or even love someone you find to be toxic and/or intimidating, when you take that into consideration alongside the configuration of her body, you get some interesting implications.

which brings us to our second point: if we assume that mithrun was not in fact fucking a snake, then sexual attraction, at least, was so far removed from his idea of a relationship with this person that he did not even bother to keep her dungeon copy human enough to maintain the illusion of the option of a sexual relationship. this is somewhat echoed in the depictions of their interactions, which also imply a frankly unexpected romantic distance. she kisses his cheek and he doesn't seem to react; she's at the edge of a narrow bed with only one set of pillows, on top of his blankets while he's underneath them.

the kiss is particularly interesting because it seems to contrast the text. kabru's narration tells us this was everything mithrun could have asked for, but mithrun is there looking unreadable to pensive, likely because this is right before the panel that makes it clear things in the dungeon are beginning to go wrong.

walking through this backwards for a minute, we have the physical barrier of his bedding and the spatial separation inherent in a bed made for one person, the emotional barrier of his mounting anxiety getting in the way of his ability to enjoy the affection he sought, and... the snake, which historically carries the connotation of temptation, yes, but also mistrust, barring physical intimacy. okay. ok. if a dungeon reflects the mentality of its lord, all of this might suggest that mithrun was not able to have any real desire for a relationship with this person. his unwillingness to be vulnerable or let another person in was insurmountable. but in that case, why was she such a focal point that she remained to the end, after his dungeon had stopped creating iterations of his friends to come and visit him? why would he get so upset over her meeting with his brother that he became lord of a dungeon about it?

well. mithrun's brother was also interested in her, probably genuinely. and mithrun had to win.

you have an older brother who your parents completely ignore, probably in part because he is chronically ill/disabled and almost definitely in part because he received a ton of recessive traits that resulted in rumors that he was an illegitimate child. you are aware, most likely because those same parents fucking told you, that you actually are an illegitimate child. but they keep you around because you had the good fortune of looking just like your mother. what can that possibly teach you but that you, like your brother, are disposable?

it's utterly unsurprising that mithrun, under these circumstances, developed a pathological need to be better than everyone around him. people don't keep you otherwise. i'd argue this is also why he says he looked down on everyone he knew while milsiril claims his dungeon reeked of feelings of inferiority—he sought out people's worst traits and prioritized them in his mind to protect his already extremely fragile sense of self-worth, and all the while he tried to be as likable and high-performing as he possibly could be. his parents disposed of him anyway, but even then he tried to keep up the performance. he was kind to everyone. he never once lost to a dungeon.

when he saw his "love interest" meeting up with his brother, what he saw was himself being replaced by a person his parents had always treated as worthless, and if that was what they thought of the child they'd kept, what value could anyone possibly see in the bastard they'd given away to die? mithrun and kabru tell the story like he wanted to win this unnamed elf's heart, but it was never about being with her. it was about cementing his worth, proving that he didn't deserve to be thrown away.

and so it's particularly cruel that his demon discarded him, too. but maybe it's also particularly gentle that, in the end, there was someone who refused to even consider giving up on him.

kui laid it out in three panels better than i could hope to.

yeah. it's love. you wanted to be loved, even when the only way you were able to understand it was through the desire to be wanted, and you wanted that so badly that the idea of being consumed felt like the promise of finally mattering to someone.

#dungeon meshi spoilers #mithrun #dungeon meshi #this has been rotating for a while but i wanted to check my evidence before getting into it thanks user angelspenance for posting that meme #half of this is just the text and the other half i'm sure has been said before but it's making my brain [radio static] so here this is #someone did for sure mention this but i do find it very cute that in his fucked up conjured world meant to portray his ideal reality #his teammates came to visit him. like part of the fantasy was then explicitly that they cared about him and were his friends. even though #he says he tried to see the worst in them.#hm it does feel important to note that i do also believe 100% in mithrun suicidality--his desire to be eaten does seem to focus a lot on #wanting it to be Over. wanting not to be left incomplete and empty anymore.#but that loops back around a bit to the hole in your heart that appears when you feel unloved. it's many things and the same thing at once #snakes #long post #severe problems #meshy

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