#mutual aid networks

[chronicallycouchbound]

How To Support People

Sometimes, when someone is struggling, we default to giving or offering what support we would want in that specific situation. We don’t mean to, but it can cause harm to someone who we are trying to help.

So what can we do instead? I would ask people: “How can I support you?” But it was often too open-ended. My loved ones didn’t know what they needed.

Mental, emotional, and physical are support types that can be used to give personalized offers for support! Sometimes, people need specific offers of support, usually a mix of types.

Mental support could be:

Facts

Wisdom

Constructive feedback

Solutions

Advice

Solutions

Resources

Mentoring

Guidance

Pros and cons

Advocacy

Reminders

Logical steps

Planning

Some examples can look like: - “I complied resources for you” - “Let’s make a support plan together” - “When I was in a similar situation, I did…”

Emotional support could be:

Validation

Venting

Commiseration

Solidarity

Affirmation

Listening

Check-ins

Distraction

Space

Comfort

Praise

Motivation

AITA?

Some examples can look like: - “Tell me what’s bothering you” - “I think it’s reasonable that you feel this way” - “You got this!” - “Do you need space?”

Physical support could be:

Housework/chores

Physical touch

Mutual aid funds

Body doubling

Acts of service

Gifts

Flowers

Food

Cards

Transportation

Some examples can look like: - “I finished your to-do list for you” - “I made you your favorite dinner” - “Let’s do this together” - “Can I make a fundraiser for this?”

We all have various needs and capacities, but I hope we can all find creative solutions to help support each other. Keep caring.

#chronically couchbound #support #mutual aid #mutual aid networks #helping #caring #compassion #empathy #boundaries #self help #community care #aid #supporting others #supportive #how to guides #how to #guides #how to help #ways to help #fundraising #autistic #actually autistic #autism #neurodivergent #neurodiverse #neurodivergence #neurodiversity #neurodiverse stuff #neurospicy #audhd

[inkjette]

So at my workplace, we fund a Food Is Free shelf. It's the basics: take what you need, give what you can - our town has a high level of poverty, there's a cost of living crisis, be the good you want to see in the world etc etc.

Today we had a guy knock on the door and ask if we had a plastic bag he could use to carry a few things - I said sure, got him a plastic bag, and he started packing up his 2 rolls of toilet paper, his 3 or 4 foodstuff items. He said he'd been to a funeral out of town (1500 kms away) and spent his paycheck on fuel - he was only broke till Friday, he said.

And I said, well I'm glad we could help, it's why we have the shelf. We want the community to use it.

And he said:

But people ABUSE it! I've seen people take heaps of stuff from it - and they don't even have kids or anything. And it's fair enough, some people are struggling until the next paycheck, but other people just ABUSE it. You need a sign that says TAKE ONE ITEM ONLY or something. I've taken something from here maybe twice, but I've seen people coming round every week! I've even put stuff on the shelf! Yeah, you need CAMERAS or something. People abuse it.

So here is a man who is actively utilising a public resource that we created to support our local community...And yet he is so brainwashed by capitalism into thinking that people don't deserve basic needs - if they're not working hard, or maybe they're struggling but they don't have it As Bad as others, or they're using a FREE RESOURCE more often than HE thinks is acceptable. He thinks that we should use security cameras to crack down on people "STEALING" from the Food is FREE shelf. Like he's more worthy, like he's a better person, because he doesn't need as much help as others might.

Sometimes, when something is free, people might abuse it. But isn't it better to offer the support to people who need it? To offer an opportunity for people to get back on their feet (even if they're only broke till Friday)? To provide help, no questions asked and no conditions needed?

So what if people abuse it - isn't it worth it if helps someone?

#capitalism can die in a hole #people are fundamentally good and all they need to do is the basic resources they need to survive #still cannot get over the fact that we need CAMERAS to stop people from *checks notes* using a food pantry for its intended purpose? #anticapitalism #solarpunk #mutual aid #community aid #community networks #food is free #food pantries

[donnerpartyofone]

There is a cute amount of people at the bar. Not too crowded, not too empty, just a cute amount of small groups enjoying each other's company.

#waiting for the raffle drawing from the barnacle parade #supporting the local mutual aid network #i love my new neighborhood so much

[crimeronan]

funniest thing is people just unanimously deciding that characters are siblings and despite it not being canon like at all, if anyone ships them together it's literally incest and they're all disgusting freaks who should be burned at the stake. it's SO silly

i remember when i first looked into luz-hunter art i was super startled to see how insistent the siblings thing was in wider fandom, and even MORE startled to see that romantic shipping was often treated as incest. it wasn't until i remembered that most people ship things monogamously that i realized the ENTIRE "luz/hunter is incest" thing Literally Only Happened because of luz/amity shippers feeling threatened & needing to make luz/hunter Problematic. and that to make luz/hunter Problematic, they had to reach for incest because luz & hunter have in common literally all the same things that luz & amity do.

like i legit FORGOT that monogamy was a thing and was sitting here like "but..... but hunter/luz/amity just MAKES SENSE......???? WHY ARE PEOPLE SO ANGRY....."

bitch. it's the compulsory monogamous ship wars.

Duh.

#replies #toh #fun fact: if you ever see a fandom behavior that makes very little sense to you based on the source characterization/story #look at it thru shipping goggles. it's literally fucking always about shipping. #hopefully not using the common ship names will keep this from showing up in ship tags bc i try not to tag like. anything discourse-adjacent #luz/amity shippers: he tried to kill her... no god dammit we can't use that one uh #he's a cutthroat asshole and mean person. NO SHIT. uhm uhm uhm he'll never understand luz's love of books- FUCK ME #like guys it's fine. you can polyship and you can also leave people alone. relax. #the assumption that shipping something non-canon means that you hate the canon and want gay people to die has done like #so much damage. to wider fandom. relax. go do some real life activism. find local mutual aid networks. give a few bucks to someone in need

[windsails]

escapism gets a bad rap but i think we can actually use it proactively to build a better world and simply enter that world. if the escapism fantasy is realistic enough, there’s no reason why we couldn’t actually treat the escapism fantasy as a blueprint and manifest it materially. we just need resources proportional to the scale of the escapist fantasy itself

to be completely honest nobody should have to live in a world they don’t want to live in, there should be social tools to distribute realities to each according to their needs, within reason. each world could have its own constitution initialization program, a server instance

we’ll still have to all do work to maintain the infrastructure of such a system but, that could be accounted for! personally i want to live in a peaceful reality with hiking and beaches and books, and computers

i want to spend my days simply appreciating every single moment and making art. and i don’t mind helping out with IT infrastructure and some light gardening

#escapism #fantasy #science fiction #philosophy #worldbuilding #computer science #video games #life #blueprints #architecture #network architecture #game design #system sillies #magic system #it infrastructure #gardening #community building #mutual aid

[violexides]

the American education system needing to be improved and more accessible because as it stands a lot of people lack access to adequate schooling and it has the potential to address really important subjects and provide social support for people

coexists with the idea that societally we should not be trying to pull every piece of information from the American education system because it is not equipped even remotely to address the knowledge that can come from a person's individual lived experience nor provide the information (en masse) that goes against the state that created it.

this is something i thinka bout a lot and try to re-articulate a lot because i am resistant to answering the question "why are you only studying abolition now, through a university?" but i think a lot of things can come out of that line of questioning. because it's not just about academia it's about the people forming those communities to have those dialogues and that is key that is critical. but that doesn't negate the fact that we should have school as a starting place, and a meeting place, for all of that.

#ides.txt #my instructor for my abolition course led a discussion about abolishing the university #and it was one of my least favorite classes because they appraoched it from a pessimistic perspective #and it became a really fraught class environment because they weren't really expanding on shit #but anyway despite that it's one of the classes that has stuck with me #because it really highlights that like. yes university is a really good thing. this should not be The Thing though #we should not have a society that relies on a pricy university to connect you to mutual aid networks #i don't know now we're deviating from the point but i guess people frustrate me when they talk about education #also i know that this is easier said than done and i'm still trying to figure out where i myself partake in all of this #because i do dickride for being a college student and i don't think that's bad but i do think that's important to acknowledge #and figure out what that means as someone who also is attempting to learn more about what an abolitionist univeristy resembles #it's a complex privilege thing because i have the privilege to love univeristy #and some people lack the privilege that would allow them to access it and thus really desire it #but then kind of within that spectrum is the whole. hey but why are we desiring it. what about it do we desire #is it just learning things? because that's what university is for me but that doesn't just have to be there #anyway i'm rambling and i'm so underqualified for all of this but #you get a glimpse into my frequent leftist crises that will go unresolved until i talk to some more people about it

[honestlyvan]

👀👀love how you analyze the xc3 cast, any chance you want to talk about juniper and tau?👀👀

Yeah for sure, Tau is definitely the place in the plot where we start getting a sense of scale for the futility of the war, I think. They're sandwiched between a Silver Keves colony and the Castle, in terrain that pretty much nobody is gonna bother traversing unless they have to, and even though they are properly equipped to fight there, that's not gonna matter if no enemies show up to feed them. Their Flame Clock is a huge penalty on the colony, that otherwise has been finding ways to survive -- I wouldn't call it quite thriving, but we see significant development in their infrastructure the moment they stop needing to worry about meeting their hunting quota.

Tau is losing the war by winning at peace, essentially. They've got the potential for being self-sustainable, they've got more than enough work in their hands in Matktha as active parts of the ecosystem, they've even got an alliance with the Tirkins that could lead to a permanent peace treaty and even cooperation, but because the mechanics of the war don't care about that, they're starving to death. In what world does a war that punishes those fighting the least the harshest have any meaning to it? Tau's situation, especially when paired with Colony 5 in the same region later in the game, really reveals that win or lose, the purpose of the game is to die.

Juniper being handed a losing battle and being told in no uncertain terms that their duty is to just see it through to the end with grace really fucks up their ability to lead their colony from the start, y'know? The blithe way they initially dismiss the idea of being freed from the Flame Clock, the weight of the old ways being a shackle that stops a lot of progress in Tau being made, I really got the sense that Juniper was expecting to end up the last person standing at Tau, and that there was fundamentally nothing they could do but to prolong the suffering, because that's all anyone at Tau had ever really amounted to.

And it makes sense! Because under the Flame Clock -- under a system where nothing matters except how many bodies you put in the ground -- none of Tau's solutions were working, and without being able to imagine a world without the war, it was hard to judge whether that was because their novel solutions were bad. Juniper's temperament being of the watchful, patient sort only compounds the problem, they see that progress should be made but it isn't, so they're clearly doing something wrong. It's easier to go back to a former flawed method on the idea that someone somewhere must have just thought about it more. There's no way to build confidence under such circumstances.

I wish we had seen more of Juniper after their Ascension quest, because I think it's interesting how U plays to their fear of the novel, her clear condescension and treatment Juniper as if they're a helpless idiot child who can't think for themselves playing into Juniper's learned helplessness and lack of confidence. Juniper being given the opportunity to rebuff that was good, but I think the way the missions can come out in almost any order on the player end means that we kind of get stranded in the climax of Juniper's character arc without a denouement.

#van's answers #Xenoblade Chronicles 3 #Xenoblade 3 spoilers #Juniper (XC3) #Juniper's denouement really comes in Colony 9's plotline #which is WEIRD because I think the majority of people are gonna be playing through that one first #Juniper being able to shrug off Kite's hostility #and being able to commit to working with them for new solutions #always came across as them being like 'I too have fallen prey to the sunk cost fallacy' #Juniper is overwhelmingly competent compared to the way self-effacing way they talk about themselves #they're just not competent at WAR #and if they'd had a bigger role in the midgame where the Aionios Mutual Aid Network is being established #it would have been clearer #like I really wish there had been some other colony that had decided to try to form and alliance with the local beast tribe #based on the success Juniper had had with Tirkins #or something #as it is it's a little half-baked

[tsukihigui]

deleted my twitter app (not account) bc i really can’t handle the intense no-nuance high-stakes takes right now. not that here is all that much better but it’s definitely less of a time sink

#i just. #ok. #i just think if ur gonna go scorched earth on prioritizing high minded ideals over outcomes ur not actually as morally pure as u think u r #and I also think if ur gonna do that u gotta say with ur CHEST the collateral damage you’ll sign onto #both by abstaining from concrete action now and by destroying infrastructure in the name of a brighter future #im not even gonna tell you ur wrong. but i want you to say who u think is worth sacrificing #i have awful news for you the folks who don’t make it thru the revolution are very rarely the rich and healthy and connected #it’s gonna be folks who are desperate enough to fight and folks who can’t handle more instability. #poor folks. sick folks. disabled folks. disenfranchised folks. unhoused folks. #you think you can build a functioning mutual aid network from scratch during a revolution serving tens of millions? #i know it’s a nice thought that the failures of US welfare programs are Just Capitalism. and that’s a huge chunk #but it’s also because IT IS DIFFICULT. and that’s WITH billions of dollars and a chokehold on the global supply chain #im not saying any of the options are good. but when u call for revolution u gotta acknowledge ur stealing from today for tomorrow #and look hard at the folks who stand to lose the most. say you’re fine with martyring them - whether or not they agree #I’ve got myself all worked up now and i wanna post about it. to maybe share some god damn perspective. #things are bad! things are not good. unsustainable trends abound. but wow for all ur whining online #about how everyone needs to know EVERYTHING about ALL ISSUES in EVERY CONFLICT or else you are EVIL #ur missing the forest for the trees my dude. takes are easy - policy is hard #get fucked. don’t get people killed.

[purrfectly]

everytime I step too far outside of my NPC script with others it never goes well. you can feel the :/ vibe.

its funny since im fine with it generally except for the fact that friendship offers life perks. just need to be better at not going off script to maintain access

#purrsonal #its annoying. #lots of mixed thougjrs about friendship and masking. about networking and study groups and mutual aid #about new scripts and reminders to interact but not that way and mental timers on hanging out with ppl #its all so. :|

[chronicallycouchbound]

What’s So Wrong With Having Heroes?

When I was a little kid, I wanted to be a doctor or a veterinarian. I wanted to help heal. And even as a small child, it felt like my calling.

Most kids dream of becoming a hero. The firefighters, the builders, the astronauts. The one’s who get medals and standing ovations. There’s many very monetarily successful movies and comics about all the superheroes we dream of. The people we want to save us. At one point, I thought I could be a hero. I wanted to be.

Being a hero wasn’t an issue for me though. People started to notice acts of kindness in me, and when they held that in high regard, I did too. I did everything I could to help others. It came naturally.

I bandaged my siblings and pets and strangers up. I gave advice like a wise old man, my aunt thanked me for helping her to leave her abusive husband when I was 8. I saved two people from drowning when I was 10. I talked friends out of suicide a dozen times. I became a street medic. I have saved dozens of lives, often under extraordinary circumstances. By definition, I fit the one for ‘hero’.

And I have so many issues with it. This isn’t a humble brag.

I genuinely think that we, as a society, put certain people on pedestals that shouldn’t be. I don’t think anyone should be. The hierarchy of heroes is inequitable and unrealistic. I think we should do the right thing because it’s the right thing, not to win an award or a badge of honor.

I see headlines all the time that are just ‘hero firefighter does their job!’. They’re paid to do this, of course they’re going to do it. As an abolitionist, I see cops hailed as heroes, usually for doing the objectively right thing, and it seems to magically erase the realities of what they do, the systemic harm they perpetuate. It’s the entirety of the ‘there’s some good cops’ narrative. And it causes great detriment to our communities because it makes it seem like the police do more good than bad.

Society particularly loves to paint white, cishet, abled, rich, educated, affluent men as heroes. The ones who can save us. Our hero.

And yet we ignore the people who are saving lives left and right, like people who use drugs who Narcan their friends. Or trans youth who stay up all night with their suicidal friends. Or the street medics who set up civilian ambulances for their under-served and neglected communities.

No one’s giving them medals.

Beyond that, people aren’t checking in on heroes. I’ve heard “you’re incredible!” and “thank you” a million times, but rarely do people genuinely check in on me after I’ve rescued someone.

And I usually need it. I’m at my worst mentally and usually physically after a rescue. It often takes months or years to process those events— they are traumatic for the rescuer too. Especially those of us without formal training or those of us who have attempted to rescue someone and lost them. We’re left to drift among all of these confusing and conflicting emotions, sometimes never understanding why.

The worst thing I hear: “I could NEVER do what you did”. It breaks me apart every time.

I don’t want to be doing this alone. I don’t want to have to save people over and over. I can’t save everyone.

I have to repeat that last one like a mantra sometimes.

I can’t save everyone. And so often, I still try to. I jump in without thinking. I throw myself into danger and worry about myself last, or, never. And it usually ends with me being seriously injured.

When I’d bandage up my siblings and pets it was after our parents hit us. I stepped in front of them as often as I could. I swallowed so much water while trying to save someone from drowning because they kept pulling me under that I puked. My 20-something-year-old boyfriend I dated when I was 16 stabbed me with the knife I had just talked him out of cutting himself with. He went on to keep caving my face in and choking me until I was blue. And of course, I’ve been seriously injured dozens of times during rescues. My body physically hurts so much afterwards, let alone the emotional toll.

I have to wonder: What would happen if I didn’t step in? Would it be so bad?

But of course, my brain always answers with a thousand of the worst case scenarios— or, just with what happened anyways. Sometimes people die no matter how much you try to fight to save them. And that has to just be what it is.

I think sometimes people live, and that just has to be what it is too.

But when we ascribe people as heroes, the message we send is that some people are heroes, some people aren’t. And I feel so strongly that this isn’t true. I believe that everyone has the capacity to help others, and so often, they do so in seemingly insignificant ways, and their deeds are not recognized.

Small acts of kindness are never small.

Life saving happens in everyday, ordinary ways. Sometimes what has saved my life has been something the other person will never remember or know. The Christmas cards from the elementary schoolers sent to the homeless shelter I lived at. The partners and friends who sat with me until I was safe on my own. My friends who held my hand as my heart beat dangerously fast, their presence being all I could feel, replacing the tightness in my chest. My cat cuddling me, purring until she snores. Strangers holding doors, strangers carrying my groceries, strangers checking on me. The dozens of items from my Amazon wishlists that have kept me alive.

I wish I could say how thankful I am to the community that’s kept me alive. How every time they’ve called me a hero, it’s because they made me possible. That they’re a hero just as much as I am.

I read ‘Mutual Aid: Building Solidarity During This Crisis (And The Next)’ by Dean Spade recently. In it, Dean describes “leader-less and leader-full” movements. It’s exactly what we need in the world. Hero-less and hero-full communities. We don’t need a select few— we need communities and societies structured around giving care. We need it to be standard, not extraordinary.

Personal responsibility can lead to community responsibility. We could have thriving, beautiful communities where we all care for each other so fully that no one single person is a savior, because we are all uplifted equitably.

I urge everyone I know to be more like the heroes they uplift. To think about what values they hold in high regard in others and to apply them to their own actions. To be what they already are, and acknowledge it.

You’re included.

#heroes #chronically couchbound #tw #hero #abolitionist #savior complex #white savior #white saviour complex #personal essay #leftist #anarchist theory #leftist theory #mutual aid #mutual aid networks #community care #feminist theory #inspiration #inspirational #inspiring heroes #everyday heroes #liberationist #equity

[feckcops]

“We can’t dictate policy without first changing the nature of society to be more democratic. We can’t get world leaders to listen to what is moral, rather than the interests of the ultra-wealthy.

“What we can do is build structures and communities of care beyond capitalism, while within it. Workers unions, yes, but tenants unions, mutual aid networks, and feminist collectives too. Organisations that help people manufacture the supplies they need for crises, like the Common Humanity Collective does with face masks and air purifiers. Collectives that take care of the needs of minorities in ways that the majority will ignore, like so many queer communities the world over, or the way the Black Panthers worked to provide free meals and education to children. Moreover, we need to reach out to our neighbours in ways that are flexible, acephalous and forward-thinking, so that even the unexpected can be mitigated. 

“Beyond that, we should be ready for our communities to work together with others to build something bigger and better than the sum of its parts. If people do the things they can to prepare for what climate change is doing to the planet; organise in ways that withdraw from the sovereignty of capital and take care of each other instead; bring together and unite the fronts on which we are fighting; show enough people that the solidarity we have for each other is also a platform on which to build a better world – then together we could have socialism – on a planet with a wounded ecology, but with the supply chains and technologies both to provide for everyone and start to stabilise the damage capitalism has done to the planet.

“If that doesn’t happen soon, then conditions are going to get much, much worse. More and more people are going to become precarious. And I honestly think the most likely outcome of that is going to be socialism. It obviously doesn’t look like the world we could build right now – I’d call it ‘salvage communism’ after Tsing’s ‘salvage accumulation’.

“The communities of care that are already emerging and will continue to emerge as a result of precarity have the power to knit together people into a stable and secure society. Any states that first reckon with capitalism’s inability to deal with crisis and then undergo radical reform towards socialism will become a part of this that in some ways carries on the forms and structures of the world today. The states that try to protect the sovereignty of capital will be left behind by their own collapse, as more of their populations find themselves on the short end between the ever increasing gap between the ultra-wealthy and the working class. As for the states that resort to reaction and fascism, while it may not be a pleasing or reassuring answer, they have no endgame — fascism is a death cult.

“The overall emergent social relations of the next hundred years are going to be socialist, whether it means an abundant socialism now, or salvage communism in the decades to come …

“My perspective doesn’t preclude all melancholia. I walked through London and I burst into tears because I saw a cherry tree and the thought hit me like a bus – I really hope we save cherry trees. I soberly wonder if our sky will remain blue, or be blue more often than not. But as for human beings surviving, taking care of each other, living rich and meaningful leaves, we’ve been doing it the whole time so far; I can’t imagine why we would stop now.”

#doomerism #climate crisis #climate breakdown #climate #trade unions #tenants unions #unions #mutual aid #feminist collectives #solidarity networks #queer community #gay #trans #queer #lgbt #black panthers #capitalism #socialism #communism #fascism #Youtube

[kaphyr]

The Long Defeat - Ch 37

Chapter Summary

“Beauty provokes harassment, the law says, but it looks through men's eyes when deciding what provokes it.” ― Naomi Wolf, The Beauty Myth

Izuku helps. No one else seems to. Part 1.

Link on AO3: The Long Defeat

After a decade of separation, Katsuki and Izuku meet. They are both heroes but on different sides where it matters.

Eijirō has a lot of figuring out to do. He’s got OFA and no clue how to honour this legacy and is even more confused about the feelings he’s having for a middle-ranking hero.

Shigaraki is lost in the wake of AFO’s defeat and frustrated with the League of Villains and its partners’ progress. He’s got destruction at his fingertips and he’s itching to use it.

---

Or: The way too political dekubowl no one asked for.

[Updates every 2 weeks on Tuesday]

#bnha fic #mha fic #bnha #mha #the long defeat #bkdk #sgdk #sliding in mutual aid because we should all have such networks #bnha izuku #mha deku

[charlesfosterofdensen]

Please consider donating to Kentucky Health Justice Network’s Fund-a-Thon 2023! KHJN helps provide abortion access, gender affirming care, and more in a state that’s actively rolling back reproductive and trans rights. Help me help my fellow Kentuckians! Donation link is below!

#khjn #kentucky health justice network #trans rights are human rights #reproductive rights are human rights #fundraiser #mutual aid

[gayrobos]

getting WILDLY excited about the idea of setting a political drama in the lodestars of vos during the reign of galvanus prime, starring a baby new apprentice cityspeaker desperately trying to learn to navigate the wacko politics that are going on

#Ask Me About The Lodestars Of Vos #we can't publish paxonica yet so I'm daydreaming. #well writing rung's adventures in treasonous mutual aid networks and daydreaming

[joe-england]

Let's talk about dropping people in DC and a song from the 1990s....

#youtube #country music #dc #greg abbott #texas #migrants #beau of the fifth column #christians #christianity #1990s #pop culture #humanitarian aid #migrant solidarity mutual aid network #leftists #religion #churches #what if jesus comes back like that #collin raye

[clarafordahwin]

Haha, so like the world sucks 😅

#everyday its like heres 3 more bad things #got plugged into my local mutual aid network so that's good #shut up clark