#my dm tip for all of you is spend as little money as you can and make hilarious cardboard minis

[ukiyowi]

Channelled Messages 💌

Channelling messages from your: Future Spouse, Closest Friends, Spirit Guides, and Future Self

Note: Please DM me if you want a reading I am going to be putting a discount on all my readings because I am in a rough spot financially and need to pay money for my room which I was not aware of earlier and could be kicked out if I don't at the earliest. Book a reading || Tip me! (Ko-fi)

♡ Future Spouse

♡ Closest Friends

♡ Spirit Guides

♡ Future Self

Future Spouse

💌 Pile 1

My Love,

I imagine us walking hand in hand through the seasons of life, supporting each other through every victory and challenge. Together, we will create a collage of memories, painting the canvas of our shared life with love, laughter, and endless adventures.

I promise to be your biggest cheerleader, your confidant in times of doubt, and your unwavering support through thick and thin. I vow to cherish and respect you for the unique individual that you are, appreciating both your strengths and your vulnerabilities.

You are scarred right now but theres no reason to be. You are so filled with love and light and everything good, just because someone else cannot see it does not mean it doesnt exist. If I could bring you the moon and the stars I would in an instant. I don't think there has ever been or will ever be someone who is as bright as you.

Please take care of your health, you cannot make excuses for bad habits and keep living life like that, no matter how stressful work or life is please make time for yourself. We still have a while to meet so take care of yourself for both you and I.

Song: It's a Shame - The Spinners

💌 Pile 2

Hey Darling,

Our connection, I believe, will be deeper than words can express. It will be built on trust, respect, and a genuine desire to see each other flourish. While I can't predict the future, I am steadfast in my commitment to cherishing every moment we have together.

We have met before, I don't think you remember me, but I do. your beauty had me stunned and so did your mannerisms. I admire the way you carry yourself, with so much dignity and poise, as if the personification of grace itself were standing in front of me, sweeping me off of my feet.

I will shower you with anything you want, praise, adoration, gifts, love, time, energy, and be there whenever you need. Life is probably fun for you right now, unfortunately for me the road is a little rocky. Enjoy this time with your friends and family, your loved ones truly care about you and want what's best for you even if they can't articulate it well.

Stay strong butterflly and look for me in your dreams, I promise to be a frequent visitor. hope you likfe sunflowers, lillies, and magnolias angel.

Song: Mango bananas - Flyana Boss

💌 Pile 3

Hi sweetheart!!

I have a feeling that when we finally meet, there's going to be a bell that rings making us instantly know like it did in Your Name, also hope you like animation because I love it, I also really like drawing and art, do you? Please say yes!

Life seems to be going too fast for you right now so you need to make sure that you don't lose yourself in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Calm down and do things you enjoy, maybe you'll like pottery!

But beyond the laughter and silliness, I want you to know that I'm dead serious about creating a remarkable life together. We'll support each other's dreams, even if they involve opening a cat cafe or becoming professional trampoline testers (hey, it's a thing, right?). We'll navigate the ups and downs of life hand in hand, and I promise to be your rock when you need it most.

Song: Glue Song - beabadoobee

xoxo

Closest Friends

💌 Pile 1

Life has been quite the rollercoaster lately, filled with its usual ups and downs. I've had my fair share of challenges, but there have also been some incredible moments that I wish I could have shared with you in person.

I often find myself reminiscing about the good old days when we used to spend hours talking and laughing about anything and everything . Those memories are some of my most cherished, and I truly miss you.

Please know that no matter where life takes us or how much time passes, you will always hold a special place in my heart. Your friendship has been a source of strength, laughter, and endless support, and I'm incredibly grateful for that.

Let's make a promise to catch up soon, whether it's over a cup of coffee or a long, heartfelt phone call. I genuinely look forward to hearing how you've been and sharing all the stories we've missed out on.

With love,

Initials may include: R, P, W, Q, L

Song: Window - Still Woozy

💌 Pile 2

Leaving behind the place we've called home for so long is both exciting and bittersweet. While new opportunities wait and adventures call, it's hard not to feel a tinge of sadness at the thought of being farther away from you.

Although physical distance may separate us, please know that you will always hold a special place in my life. Our bond is not defined by geography but by the strong connection we share.

And the internet exists so we'll be fine right? You promise to not lose touch with me even when we're both busy? I promise I will remember to call you, if not daily then weekly, please don't forget me.

I wish you could join me and we could embark on this together but life has its ways of separating the best people we've met so that we are forced to widen our horizons and social circles lol, hope it's not too much for either you or me.

Will miss you,

Initials pulled: A, J, M, S, K

Song: Missin something - Zach Templar

💌 Pile 3

I love the days we've shared and I wish to share so many more with you in the future, god I am so so so excited for everything thats to come!

Do you remember that time we decided to go on that impromptu road trip? No plans, no GPS, just a car full of snacks, good music, and an unshakable belief that we'd find our way eventually. We got lost more times than I can count, but it was so much fun and truly unforgettable.

And how about those late-night conversations that somehow turned into early-morning confessions? We've solved the world's problems over a cup of lukewarm coffee more times than I can recall. The neighbors must have wondered if we were running a 24-hour café.

As I sit here reminiscing about these and countless other memories, I can't help but smile. Our friendship has been a rollercoaster of laughter, silliness, and genuine connection. And I wouldn't trade a single moment of it for anything in the world.

Sending you a virtual high-five and a whole lot of fond memories, here's to hundreds more, and don't forget about the promise we made about the weddings okay?

Your platonic soulmate,

Initials may include: G, H, B, L, T

Song: Right Here, For Now - Bakar

xoxo

Spirit Guides

💌 Pile 1

Embrace change with an open heart and a curious mind. Life is a series of shifts and transitions, and it's in these moments of change that growth and self-discovery thrive. Trust in your ability to adapt and evolve, for you possess the resilience needed to navigate uncharted waters.

As you progress in your career, always remember that your passion and purpose are the compass that should guide you. Pursue work that aligns with your values and fulfills your soul. Don't be afraid to explore different paths and take calculated risks. Each experience contributes to your growth and wisdom.

Learning is a lifelong journey, and each lesson learned is a stepping stone to your personal and professional development. Stay committed to your goals, and never underestimate the power of continued learning.

There may be moments of doubt or uncertainty along the way, but listen to your heart's desires and the quiet whispers of your soul, for they will guide you toward your true purpose.

Above all, be patient and compassionate with yourself. Success is not defined by a straight path but by the lessons learned along the way. Embrace each setback as an opportunity to grow stronger and wiser.

Song: Everything Has Changed - Taylor Swift

💌 Pile 2

In matters of the heart, we see the longing in your soul for a deep and meaningful connection. First and foremost, we urge you to be patient with yourself. Love is a delicate dance, and it often takes time to find the right partner who truly understands and appreciates you.

As you seek love, remember the importance of self-love. Nurture your own well-being, both physically and emotionally. Don't be insecure about your quirks and imperfections, for they are the qualities that make you beautifully you. When you love yourself wholeheartedly, you become a magnet for the love you desire.

When it comes to romantic relationships, let go of preconceived notions and allow yourself to be pleasantly surprised. Love can appear in unexpected places and forms. Stay open to meeting new people and exploring connections that may not fit your usual "type." Sometimes, the greatest love stories are the ones that defy expectations.

Communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship. Be brave in expressing your feelings, needs, and desires. Equally important, listen to your partner with an open heart. True intimacy is born from understanding and genuine connection.

Whoever, you're thinking of, is not the one, set the standards high and do not settle for something that does not align with what you can give as well.

Song: Scared - Jeremy Zucker

💌 Pile 3

Know that you are never alone. We are always by your side, watching over you, and guiding you in subtle ways. We see your potential and your inner light, and we are here to help you recognize and nurture these gifts.

Trust in your intuition, for it is the voice of your soul and the channel through which we communicate with you. In times of uncertainty, turn inward and listen to the whispers of your heart, for they will lead you toward your true path.

Embrace the lessons that life presents, for they are opportunities for growth and self-discovery. Challenges are not obstacles but stepping stones on your journey to becoming the best version of yourself.

Surround yourself with positive influences and kindred spirits who uplift and support your journey. Let go of relationships that drain your energy and hinder your growth. Create a circle of love and support that nurtures your soul.

Find joy in the simple pleasures of life. Take time to savor a cup of tea, watch a sunrise, or feel the grass beneath your feet. These moments of presence are where true happiness resides.

Song: July - Noah Cyrus

xoxo

Future Self

💌 Pile 1

Darling, I cannot even start to tell you how good life is right now for me, and eventually for you. I know you are currently going through a rough patch, and as cliche as this sounds, I want you to know that every storm you're weathering now is bringing you closer to the sunshine that awaits you.

In my time, I've seen how the challenges you're facing today have shaped you into the resilient, compassionate, and wise person I've become. The setbacks you're experiencing are not roadblocks; they are stepping stones leading you to the life you've always dreamed of.

You may feel lost, uncertain, and at times overwhelmed, but trust me, these moments are your greatest teachers. They are guiding you towards a deeper understanding of yourself, your purpose, and the incredible strength that lies within you.

One day, you will look back on this period of your life and realize that it was a transformative journey, a cocoon in which you underwent a profound metamorphosis. You'll emerge from it stronger, wiser, and more in tune with your inner self.

The relationships you're nurturing now, the lessons you're learning, and the self-care you're embracing will all become pillars of the beautiful life that awaits you. You'll find yourself surrounded by a supportive and loving community that cherishes you for exactly who you are.

Song: See you Again - Tyler, The Creator

💌 Pile 2

I am sorry, but things are not going the way you would have hoped they would. However, rejection is just redirection, okay? Although things are looking rough for me right now, which, for you, is in the future, I want you to know that this tough phase will lead you to a place of strength and growth.

Life can be incredibly challenging at times, and I wish I could spare you from some of the hardships I'm currently facing. But remember, every setback, every disappointment, is an opportunity for growth and learning. It's through these tough moments that we discover our resilience and develop the wisdom to make better choices in the future.

I want you to hold onto hope, even when it feels like all hope is lost. Believe in yourself and your ability to overcome adversity. Surround yourself with supportive friends and loved ones who will help you weather the storm.

Stay patient and kind to yourself. It's easy to be critical during challenging times, but self-compassion is crucial. Treat yourself with the same love and understanding that you offer to others.

I am working on something thats a dream of ours right now, and I am seeing signs that it may end up succeeding soon or at least kick off, and I still love designing and art as much as you do right now, although I barely have time for myself right now.

Song: Not in that way - Sam Smith

💌 Pile 3

Okay, so maybeee we should reel it in a little with how much you are overworking yourself because it is having a bad effect on me, aka future you. Yep, I'm here to tell you that all those late nights, skipped meals, and stress-induced hair-pulling moments are not doing us any favors down the line.

I get it, you're hustling, chasing dreams, and making things happen in the here and now, and that's commendable. But trust me, I've been there, done that, and I can assure you that I'd appreciate a little less burnout and a lot more balance in our past.

You see, life isn't just about reaching goals; it's about enjoying the journey too. So, let's make a pact to take breaks, breathe deeply, and relish the simple pleasures. Remember, it's not all about the destination; the detours and pit stops are just as important.

And don't worry, I'm not trying to cramp your style here; I just want us to have the best possible adventures together, full of energy, laughter, and great stories. So, let's find that sweet spot where hard work meets self-care, and where the future "us" can look back and be happy about the past "you" for making wise choices.

Also please stop pulling all nighters its not doing any wonders for our skin, and even an extensive 10 step skincare routine does not do as much as a good nights sleep can.

Song: While we're yound - Jhene Aiko

xoxo

#pick a card reading #pac reading #pick a pile #tarot daily #tarot #intuition #pac #readings #intuitive readings #intuitive #tarot readings #tarot cards #tarotblr #tarot reading #divination #daily tarot #tarot spread #🩵 PAC 🩵

[gojos-thot-patrol]

Now Loading...

Some more supplementary material for the Frat Boy! Au, this time starring blorbo of the hour: Kento Nanami

Because he’s been heavy on my mind. Starting with his basic info!

Nanami grew up very middle class, not as poor as Suguru or Ryomen, but nowhere near as well off as Satoru.

He’s a business major not because he wants to, but because he feels he has too. If he had it his way, he would be a culinary student. But according to his father, there's no money in being a line cook, so accounting it is. 

Still, he hopes to use his degree to open his own restaurant one day. His father would never approve of a line cook for a son, but maybe Nanami could sell him on a business owner for a son. 

He says the main reason he joined the ABO frat was to try and make business connections, he knew that some people would hire one applicant over another just because they were alumni of the same fraternity. In reality though, he’d have more room in the frat and unlimited access to the kitchen. 

His room is full of plants. Plants of all kinds everywhere, including some herbs. It used to kinda annoy Ryomen (his roommate) but, he’s grown to actually kinda appreciate it. It makes the room feel less dead. 

Phenomenal cook who can not bake to save his life. Cooking is an art but baking is a science and somewhere along the way he fucks it up every time. Be it mixing the batter too much or too little, not letting it sit long enough or letting it sit too long- he doesn't know. He can handle box cake mix that’s about it. 

Now if you want a steak cooked to perfection with perfectly roasted veggies and the creamiest mashed potatoes you've ever put in your mouth on the side he’s you’re guy. If you want an authentic lasagna with homemade everything including the noodles and sauce, he can do that for you. Do not ask him to make bread. 

He’s also insanely good at fighting games. Every version of Nanami in my heart is a God when it comes to fighting games, there is not a universe in which Nanami exists where he doesn’t dominate at Tekken, argue with the wall if you don’t agree.

Adding to that, he’s also in love with D&D. He’s a forever DM that spends hours of time planning campaigns, hours he should be spending on his school work but shhhh. If you really want to make him swoon, offer to let him be a player in a campaign. He’d pull out a ring on the spot. 

That being said, I think it’s time to get into some relationship headcanons ;)

HE’S A TSUNDERE! Look at that man, he has such big Tsundere energy.

Out of all his frat brothers, Nanami is probably the one that gets laid the least. Not from a lack of opportunity, nay nay, women (and men) throw themselves at him all the time. He’s just picky and not a fan of being touched by stragers. 

You though? You’re different (of course you are, you’re the main character!) The two of you really started to click after you had to work on a pretty big project together. Little things you did softened his heart for you.

Small things like asking him more about his D&D campaign plans, excitedly showing him pictures of the plants that you kept in your dorm, and offering to help him out in the kitchen. Little moments of quality time and tenderness while you were working on this project together nurtured his small crush into full blown butterflies when you were around.

He finally admitted to himself he was in love with you when you beat him in Street Fighter. He wasn’t used to losing at fighting games. You bragged about using his tips against him (you listened to what he said) and laughed about the weeks you spent training to destroy him (otherwise known as taking a genuine interest in his hobbies.) 

He asked you out on a date that night and you were taken completely off guard! You had no idea the fool even liked you! He was cold on the best of days, spending more time scowling at his notebooks than listening to what you said (or so you thought.) He never contacted you unless it was in regards to your project, and most of the time you spent hanging out outside of it was just because you had become friends with his frat brothers and happened to be at the house. You mean he liked you?! 

Of course you said yes, if for no other reason than to see where the hell this goes. You were 40% sure it was a prank, but hey- a free meal was a free meal. It helped he was hot as hell, what was the harm in one date?

You saw a whole new side of Kento Nanami that night. He was warm and attentive, and fucking hilarious when he wasn’t just keeping all of his jokes to himself. 

It was a simple date. A moonlit picnic in the nearby park, one where he brought his laptop and used his phone hotspot so the two of you could watch movies together. 

That was the night when you found out Kento Nanami considered himself to be a hopeless romantic. 

When he took you back to your dorm, he walked you to the door and actually asked if he could kiss you goodnight. 

And now you’re both smitten! 

Once you’re officially his girlfriend, You’re gonna find out he’s genuinely pretty chill. Happy to give you your space and recognize you’re a person outside of your relationship. That being said, let some asshole start getting a little too comfortable with you at a part and he’s quick to throw hands.

You would think nerdy little Nanami wasn’t that good in a fight, but nay nay, he was forced to play football in highschool and will leave a bastard concussed. 

He says he’s not a cuddler, but every time you sleep in his bed you wake up with him cuddled close to you. 

Nanami loves kisses, and is always planting them on you when you’re in kissing range. Your lips, cheeks, forehead, everything is fair game. 

You’re the only person in the world other than like, his parents that can call him Kento. He’s always gone by his last name, to the point that his first name makes him feel like he’s in trouble. Only authority figures use it when they’re pissed off at him. But it hits him different when it comes from your lips. When you say it, it feels tender and intimate. It’s the closest he gets to liking his name.

He always tries to make time for you and your relationship. Even if that sometimes means that your date nights are just study dates, he always strives to make you feel like a priority. 

He’s a soft guy that falls in love easily. You may not know it yet, but he has full intentions to marry you after graduation. A fact his frat brothers are quick to tease him about, while also making him promise to make them groomsmen. 

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #nanami kento #nanami x reader #jjk frat boy au #frat boy! nanami #frat boy nanami #nanami headcanons #kento nanami #nanami fluff #nanami x reader fluff

[returnofgentlel0v3rz]

About Me <3

hi yall my name is faye greens and I am a 24 year old cam model and 18+ content creator here on tumblr <3 I love horror movies, halloween, and anything spooky! Tumblr sadly got to my other blog @/gentlel0v3rz

I am transmasc nonbinary and I use he/they pronouns please refer to me in masculine terms but I am okay with stunning beautiful and gorgeous :)

I have many hobbies including roller skating, pole dancing, spending a lot of money on food and smoking oui’d

This blog is strictly 18+ no minors or ageless blogs will NOT be allowed here and you will be blocked

Chronic likers will also be blocked too, if you support me reblog me, it’s free and the least you could do

I currently stream on 3 websites and I will post when im live under #gentlel0v3rz

I’m also on Onlyfans as well I have a free and a VIP OF that is $4.99 for the rest of 2023!

I am a k1nk friendly queer s3x w0rker and sometimes I sell content in the dms (you should def check it out)

I cater to findom femdom humiliation CEI and many other things

my hard limits are anal, sc@t, AHEGO, race play, age play, cnc, bl00d, knife play, anything involving me extensively hurting myself for your pleasure and sissification

you can find me on all my social media, spicy sites, wishlists and cashapp here

To see my sexy little self look under #gentlel0v3rz and if you ever need music recs go to #what is Faye listening to?

You can always tip me on cashapp if you’re really enjoying my blog :) $fancyfae

#gentlel0v3rz #about me #18+ content #onlyf@nz #alternative #tattoos #what is faye listening to?

[alucardownsmyass]

Hey beautiful! Got some headcanons on Alucard with an extremely shopaholic lover? I am a serious serial shopper and can't save money even if it meant saving my life LOL! Could be him and her just  spending time at the mall together 🏩🛍👠👜👗🥿

aaaa! i can very much relate to this one! 😩 i love fashion and currently am in the process of restarting my entire wardrobe! fr dm me if you see this and i'd love to show you all the shit i have in my wishlist cart! 🤣 it's ridiculous!

i'll add some interactions with some of the other characters as a bonus!

♡︎ ♥︎ ♡︎ ♥︎ ♡︎ ♥︎ ♡︎ ♥︎  ♡︎ ♥︎ ♡︎ ♥︎ ♡︎ ♥︎ ♡︎ ♥︎ ♡︎ ♥︎ ♡︎ ♥︎ ♡︎ ♥︎

⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ᴄʜᴏꜱᴇɴ ꜱᴄᴇɴᴀʀɪᴏ: ꜱʜᴏᴘᴀʜᴏʟɪᴄ 💌

⠀ ⠀

you had a really bad habit of being unable to save your money for long periods of time. as soon as you saw something you liked online, you were just as quick to insert the address of hellsing manor, add your credit/debit information, click 'pay now', and that was that! sure, you got a more than decent amount of income from working with the organization, but you know what they always say: "just because you have the money to spend, doesn't mean you have to."

⠀ ⠀

and integra definitely agreed with that statement.

⠀ ⠀

"(Y/N)!! what on earth is it that you've ordered this time?!" she yells as she watched a clearly exhausted fedex worker throw the 20th box by the entrance of the manor near the rest of the pile, curisng under their breath as they walked back to their truck when they were done and drove away angrily.

⠀ ⠀

you knew you shouldn't spend so much, and choosing days to shop out with seras wasn't much help with solving that problem, either. she enjoyed fashion almost just as much as you. regardless if she was a vampire or a former officer, she still had a teenager's mindset, so whatever clothes you picked up, she always encouraged you to get them, cheerfully complimenting you along the way.

⠀ ⠀

with you owning a monstrous amount of clothes, you're only bound to have some all over the floor of your room, causing walter's eyebrow to twitch. perhaps he's reached the end of his sanity. you always begged him to tidy up your room with the offering of a generous tip on the side if he did so. he agreed to in the end; you're lucky he cares about you so much.

⠀ ⠀

alucard didn't much mind the thought of venturing to the mall when you asked him to come along, and though he always did recommend less consumption, he still let you get whatever you wanted. it was your money at the end of the day, and in his eyes, you could do as you pleased with it.

⠀ ⠀

integra, nor you, trusted the vampire enough to drive, so you took that task instead. you giggled when he climbed his way into the passenger seat, for it was quite a strange sight to see such an ancient creature inside of a modern day machine. "how are you enjoying the car so far, alu?"

⠀ ⠀

"it may take me a while to get comfortable, my dear. a man of my time would agree that there lied more room inside even a dungeon cell." you took your eyes off of the road for a mere second to see what he was talking about, viewing that his knees were pretty much pressed up against his side of the car's dashboard due to how tall he was. you forgot to tell him that the seats were adjustable. oops!

⠀ ⠀

when entering the stores, it of course takes you a while to look around at everything, but alucard didn't complain, nor did he rush you. he's existed for 590 years and most likely has hundreds more to look forward to. he definitely has all the time in the world to wait. in fact, he liked to look around himself and recommend what he thinks would appear gorgeous on you. you learned he has very expensive taste, but what did you expect for someone who used to be of royalty?

⠀ ⠀

the lingerie shops grew to be his favorite places to go with you, and it was quite self explanatory of why. from little g-strings, to embroidery-embellished bras, to satin nightgowns, to straight up bdsm pvc bodysuits is all of what he ended up carrying on his gloved finger by the hook of their hangers, a huge grin on his face when he showed them to you. when you asked if you should try some of them on in the dressing rooms, he surprisingly denied. "as much as i would be delighted to see that luscious body at this moment, it'd be a much truer gift to first behold such a thing between the sheets of my bedding. wouldn't you agree, my sweet?"

⠀ ⠀

the shopping wasn't all just about you, either! you loved taking alucard into men's wear sections. it's not like he sees the need to shop for himself since he can simply summon garments of his own with the use of his shadows, but sometimes he'll indulge in the realism of the activity, especially when it means being with you.

⠀ ⠀

"you'd look so handsome in this! quick, go try it on!" you shoved the outfit you picked out for him into his arms and ushered him into a dressing room stall, waiting patiently on the outside. no sooner is when he came out in khaki shorts, a hawaiian shirt, flip flops and a large sun hat to match with a "you've got to be kidding me" expression scribbled onto his features.

⠀ ⠀

"what? i think it looks great on you! don't be such a debbie downer!"

⠀ ⠀

he raised an eyebrow. "oh really? and just where do you think i will be, dressed in this?"

⠀ ⠀

and that's how your next vacation was planned.

⠀ ⠀

you tried to hold back your laugh. you were being truthful, though; he was oddly one of those men that could actually pull off anything he wore, especially considering he donned a maid's outfit one time.⠀ ⠀

#alucard #alucard x reader

[skzkkun]

― commissions ˚ ༘♡

## intro ―

→ hi lovelies !! if i haven’t said it enough already, thank you so much for 1,000 followers– i love you all so much & your support and engagement means so much to me !! ヾ(๑❛ ▿ ◠๑ ) → i’ve received a lot of asks wondering why i haven’t been as active as i used to be, and i wanted to answer that now, especially bc it ties into why i decided to open up commissions. → i won’t be too explicit, but this year has been rough. disability struggles, escaping an abusive relationship, university stress, familial estrangement, impending homelessness… it’s been a lot. but !! this isn’t a post for sympathy― i’m feeling hopeful and i’m in a much better place mentally now. despite this, though, these struggles have led to me being dead broke, so i'm here asking for additional help. → i did manage to secure myself a place to live. i just need to earn money for basic necessities, like food and rent. and i figured i would try and earn money the way i enjoy spending my time anyway: with writing !! → if you would prefer just to help out w/ a tip, my ko-fi is always open.

( read more for more info )

## process ―

→ if you are interested in a commission, feel free to message me via tumblr or twitter dms !! → commissions will be opened with a slot-system. five slots will be open at a time (first come, first serve); when i finish a commission, a slot will be opened up !! → i can either post your commission here on tumblr, post it on ao3, or send it directly to you !! just let me know what you would prefer <3

## rules ―

→ i mainly write for stray kids and tomorrow x together, but i stan so many groups (ateez, seventeen, bts etc.) and would be willing to write for anyone !! → if you give me enough details, i'm willing to write for any ocs you may have, though i may contact you frequently with a question for accuracy. → aus and nsfw are OK. depending on your request, i may be willing to write gore and horror. i will refuse to write r*pe / noncon, scat, incest, extreme gore, sexual ageplay, abuse. you must be 18+ to commission anything that is nsfw.

→ when requesting, please tell me:

if you want to personalise the fic at all (i.e., your name and description of you), tell me a little bit about yourself !!

the pronouns you'd like to use.

what member(s) you want to include, and any relationships they may have with you and/or each other (i’m willing, but less inclined, to write member x member fics).

the number of members involved in the main relationship (i.e., poly including 3+ people) may affect pricing.

## payment ―

→ the pricing is as follows: ~ 500 words: £5 ~ 1k words: £10 ~ 1.5k words: £15 ~ 2k+ words: £20 → for longer fics (2.5k+ words), it would be an additional £5 for every extra 500 words. → there is no extra charge if i write more than requested― if you wanted a 1.5k fic and i wrote 3k, there would be no additional cost. → all payments should be sent to my ko-fi !! if you would prefer, i also have cashapp and paypal. → if you have any questions, i'd be more than happy to answer them ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡

#writing commissions #kpop fic #kpop commissions #skz x reader #txt x reader #ateez x reader #svt x reader #bts x reader #stray kids x reader #tomorrow by together x reader #skz smut #bts smut #txt smut #svt smut #ateez smut #kpop smut #kpop x reader #kpop fanfic

[madeofcc]

Monthly Update ♥

Hey everyone ! As May is starting (it's gonna be May ♫ anyway ...), here's some life and blog update with some important changes for a short time for the blog so feel free to read or ignore it.

Also enjoy the new header !

Hope you're all safe and feeling great ♥

As my life update impacts the blog one I'll start with a little life update.

Life Update then :

As you may know, I was unemployed from January since this week. I was living on my savings but now I'm struggling a lot with money, I have to call my bank in order to negociate some kind of credit extension before I get an advance on my first pay but I will only get it after May 15th. That means I totally depend financially on my roomate which is not the best situation. In order to be able to buy food for the next couple of weeks, I sadly decided to introduce the tips option here. This is not meant as a cry for help, my roomate is actually okay to help me, but it's a solution for now (even though I feel already terrible to do it U_U). So, what will happen to the blog now that tips is optionnal ? I will delete the tips option mid May when I'll get my finances on track again.

Blog Update :

Well, nothing will change :)

As mention above, this is totally an option and if you follow me, you already know that all my content will always be free. As I don't have time for cc making right now, I won't do early access content or else. You can tip only if you want and mostly if you can (like you're a super rich heir who don't know how to spend daddy's millions .... If you struggle like me, keep your tip to treat yourself please ♥) Basically it's like donating to an author you like to read or a singer you like to hear I guess.

For the content of May I've planned to continue DH2. Episode 1 is ending this week (probably today as I'm working on the next parts) and episode 2 will start. I've also planned more edits and maybe lookbook as I've been enjoying doing these a lot lately. I've also planned to reblog more stuff and I'm working on a ressources page (finally !).

I hope you're all fine and well, surrounded with love ♥ if you ever feel the need to talk, interract or just vent, feel free to dm me anytime.

Meanwhile, take very good care of you :)

#Month update #Monthly update #May 2022 update #so much going on lately #sorry for not being that active #trying my best to work more on DH I swear #longer chapter #better plot #I'm planning a little challenge to include you all in the plot :)

[fyeahnix]

hello um i got a question how do i commission someone idk what to say do I describe what I would like in details or do I send them some references of it I'm just nervous to ask and I don't want to seem stupid or rude

Don't worry about it! It's initially a scary thing, but you'll get it.

When I first commissioned someone, I was ADMITTEDLY kind of an asshole about it. I won't go into detail but once I ordered my second commission from someone else, I changed my entire attitude and approach to it, and it's been immensely helpful.

I've ordered a ton of commissions over the last couple years and here's what I've learned:

First off, be nice! Cannot stress this enough lmao. You don't wanna come off as an entitled asshole demanding work because if you end up loving the piece and want to work with the artist again in the future, the artist likely won't wanna work with you again.

Before anything, research and see if their commissions are open. Some artists will have carrds, others will have tweets/pinned tweets saying they're open. If in doubt, just DM them and politely ask. Some artists may be busy or not taking any at that particular time, or some may not take commissions at all, and while that might suck or be a bummer, it is what it is! So find out first if they're even open.

Find an artist that matches the style you're looking for. Not every artist will fit your idea, and that's no shade to artists. Sometimes you have a certain idea in your head and someone's art style may not mesh well with that. Figure out what they're good at or willing to try by looking at their past work and commission info page.

When you find an artist's style you like, and their commissions are open, message them, introduce yourself, and say you'd be interested in ordering a commission. Usually I like to combine this with figuring out if they're open like "Hey, I'm Nix and I love your art. I was wondering if you take commissions and if so, if you have any slots open."

Check their prices before you ask tho, that should be on their commissions page. If you genuinely cannot find it, politely ask them where you can find the info. Make sure they're within your price range for what you want. You should absolutely factor a tip into this total price.

HAVE REFERENCES. I neglected to do this for a large chunk of my commissions and I have mentally kicked myself for this before. Artists are not mind readers and sometimes descriptions are hard to read or imagine. They're likely a professional artists and may have a MUCH different idea of what you want in your head. Get some photos of the characters you want if they're not familiar with them, get some poses together and locations if applicable.

In addition to references, draw up what you want in paint or something. I neglected to do this as well until recently but trust me when I say artists LOVE this shit because it helps them see exactly what you had in mind instead of guessing. This is an embarrassing part for me to do because my reference drawings of what I want end up supremely shitty looking but I do the best I can and add little harmless funny comments in the pic too to take a little embarrassment out of it for me (comments explaining parts of the piece may work here too).

Learn what your artist's timelines are, but be flexible and upfront about the work. If you seriously need the artwork soon, ask them if that's okay. Some artists will charge a rush fee to get it out sooner. If not, just ask for a general timeline, but don't be surprised if you get delays. Life happens and the world sucks.

Don't be entitled to times but don't also be a doormat. If your artist said you'd get a piece by a certain timeframe (like a month or something) and it's been a month and a half and they haven't said anything, ASK THEM FOR AN UPDATE. You're spending money on this and they should be doing the bare minimum of communication.

COMMUNICATE. The best artists I've worked with have taken literal MONTHS to complete pieces for me, but I've been fine with it because they've communicated when delays are expected to happen.

When the piece is finished, ask them what their usage terms are. Sometimes this will be on their terms of service page if they have one, but if you can't find it, ask them. Some artists are completely fine with you reposting the art as long as it's the watermarked version and tagging them or using it as a pfp, etc. Some are not.

If you love the piece, TIP THEM. I like to tip all my artists like 20% or more.

I think that's about it for the process!

#commissions

[thetragicallynerdy]

DM-ing in person (hoorah!!) means that I get to make fun terrible minis again 😂

Behold, the dreaded ancient dragon!! White on one side and black on the other so it's multi-purpose and I can use it again (and also because I scribbled badly and filled it in to fix my mistake)

In all seriousness though - there can be pressure as a DM to have expensive minis and maps, but you can make almost everything you need with some cardboard, some pens, and some paper. I have a $15 cardboard map I've been using for over 5 years now, and some round plastic stands (that I use for cardboard minis like this) that were hand me downs. Plastic dollar store animals and Lego people work great too. Make DnD props with what you have!!

And besides - it gives you very fun and hilarious minis like these ones!!

[ID: two images of a light skinned hand holding up a square piece of cardboard with a poorly drawn dragon scribbled on it in sharpie. One side has just the outline of a dragon, making it look like a white dragon, while the other is coloured in to make it look like a black dragon. End ID.]

#dnd #dm tips #dm stuff #dungeons and dragons #my dm tip for all of you is spend as little money as you can and make hilarious cardboard minis #art #described #rambling

[etherrreal]

“the things you do for charity”

Pairing: kenma x gn!reader Genre: fluff Summary: kenma's always been a private person, but it was getting increasingly harder to keep his partner off his streams while you live together; so, he decided to join his two loves together for a 24-hour charity stream extravaganza. Word Count: 3,408 Warnings: some swearing, i suppose there are some spoilers from the manga about adult kenma's job? A/N: i'd give my left tit to play some minecraft or mario kart with kenma tbh -Luna

Kenma's career as a popular streamer was one of the many facets of him that shocked you when you’d started dating two years ago. The two of you had first met in an Animal Crossing discord for your city meant for trading and making friends.

After you had gone over to his island to adopt Raymond from him, he let you keep all of your Nook Mile Tickets with the stipulation that you kept in contact with him to "give him updates" about how the cat villager was doing in his new home. His dorky way of trying to flirt with you was what made you pursue him in the first place, and somehow it had led to a very fulfilling relationship.

It was revealed early on that he was a streamer, but he never expanded on it regarding the actual numbers. Curiosity got the best of you one night, and you decided to google him. Besides also learning that he was a YouTuber, you found yourself in awe at the numbers he managed to accumulate across all of his social media.

And if that wasn’t enough, he was also apparently the CEO of his own business.

Once you moved in together around the one-year mark of your relationship, you got to properly witness the amount of work put into streaming and maintaining a social media presence. This also meant that you got to read the wild comments that were left on all of his platforms–and see the occasional surprise nude picture whenever he opened up his DMs around you.

Because of this, Kenma sat you down to have a conversation about your potential appearance on his social media. You both decided by the end of it that his audience would get to know that he was in a committed relationship, but you agreed it would be best to not show your face or reveal any identifying information of yours.

It had been a year since having that conversation, and you’d both stuck to the agreement closely. The most his audience had ever seen of you was your hand whenever you refilled his water bottle for him.

Of course, it was hard sometimes, especially when you had to remain extra quiet around the house and refrain from yelling out a 'baaaabe' whenever you needed something from him, but since he had his own soundproof office, it lessened the room for any accidental error.

Overall, you were content with never showing your face to his audience for the rest of his career. You knew how nasty the internet could get because of their parasocial relationships with influencers and streamers alike, especially when they discovered those influencers and streamers had a partner who wasn't them, even if they knew they never had a chance. You weren't sure your skin was thick enough to deal with rabid angry stans.

Which is why it was so shocking when Kenma decided one day to nix the agreement.

You were in your shared bedroom answering some emails when he came in. He was dressed in a baggy hoodie, sweats, and tied-up hair; his typical look for a stream.

After some time, you noticed that he was still standing in the doorway, not saying anything. When you glanced up at him, you found him awkwardly toying with the strands of hair that had fallen out of his bun, looking down at the ground like he was just waiting for you to notice him.

"Is there something you need, baby?" you asked. "You're just standing there all adorably shy."

"Yeah, so, um, I'm going to be doing a 24-hour stream this weekend to raise money for charity."

"Oh, really? Cool! I guess that means I'll be going to bed alone that night," you joked.

"Yeah, I guess. Um..." He started before scrunching up his face like he was uncomfortable with what he planned to say next.

"What is it? Do you need me to stock up on snacks and energy drinks? Just send me a list. I can pick  them up tomorrow."

"No, that's not it. I was thinking of making a stretch goal be you coming on stream so we can play Minecraft or Mario Kart or something...I mean, I totally understand if you don't feel comfortable. I could always replace it with something else. I know they've been wanting to see me dye my hair a bright color and dress up like an e-boy, so--"

"Really!?" you nearly yelled.

"What? That they want me to dress like an e-boy? Yeah, Kuroo said it would–"

"No, I mean..." You tried to fight the confused expression that was growing on your face, but your squinted eyes gave you away. "You really want me on your stream? Like face and all?"

"....Yeah, I really want to be able to share this with you. But don't feel like you have to do it just to make me happy."

It was a large ask when looking at the full picture. Kenma had his fair share of fans and "stans" who lacked boundaries, as seen from a select few who visited your home several times this year, or the handful that found you on social media already just from seeing a glimpse of your college ring on the hand wrapped around Kenma's water bottle.

There could be a chance you could receive direct hate on your social media just because you were a person who dated a popular streamer. You would then be in the public eye with little privacy and have a magnifying glass on all of your actions and words. Anything you did would then reflect on Kenma.

What if you messed something up and then Kenma lost viewers? Would they try to cancel you or him for it?

You backed away from all the negative thoughts before you could spiral and looked at the metaphorical 'pro' column.

If you agreed to appear on his stream, you would no longer have to sneak around your house in fear of being heard or showing up in his face cam. You both wouldn't have to feel guilty playing games off-camera with each other because you knew Kenma could be streaming it instead.

And who knew? Maybe his fans would like you. You had to admit, it would be a nice ego boost knowing that you were accepted by so many people.

And, most importantly: you could physically ask him in person what he wanted for dinner instead of texting him and waiting an hour for a break so he could respond, while you sat in the next room, starving, stuck in an endless cycle of wondering whether you should make a snack or if you should just hold off for dinner.

Maybe this was a good idea.

"Okay,” you decided, “I'll do it."

"Oh... alright. Cool." Kenma was trying his hardest not to show how excited he was that you agreed. When he saw the contemplative look on your face, he was sure you would decide that it'd just be too much work and say no. But hearing you agree made him giddier than he would ever admit to.

Despite the cool and collected façade he thought he was putting on, you saw the smile that threatened to break through and the red tips of his ears. You wondered if he felt the same weight being lifted off his shoulders as you did, knowing that, after this weekend, you'd both be finally out as an official couple to the world.

And, of course, the nausea of having to do all of it live in front of thousands of people. No biggie.

Saturday afternoon came and at 12pm sharp, Kenma began his grueling 24-hour charity stream. The bar had an overall goal of $150,000, and it began filling up at a constant pace right from the start. Donations ranging from $5 to $500 were flowing in rapidly, and you were trying your best not to feel nervous.

You both agreed that if he reached $50,000 within 5 hours, you would join him for an hour or two of Minecraft later that night. Part of you hoped that the donations would slow down and plateau for a bit, but when you saw Kuroo had donated $1000, specifically with the message that he hoped to see you on stream soon, you realized that it was a pipe dream.

So, you had to be your own hype person for now, to get prepared to show your face to thousands of people and not disappoint Kenma.

Whether it was the promise of your face reveal or the people who genuinely adored charity, it took only four hours for Kenma to break $50,000.

When he saw the number update live on stream, the viewers witnessed the most amount of expression Kenma had ever shown: eyes wide as saucers, mouth slightly agape, body frozen. You could see the gears struggling inside his head struggling to turn and comprehend what they all managed to do so early on in the stream.

"Thanks so much, everyone, for being so generous today... I guess this means we'll be having my partner on later tonight," he announced. You watched his chat explode with excitement, his special emotes flying in the chat.

You picked up your phone to shoot Kenma a quick text.

[you]:: hope you're ready to put our minecraft beds together in front of thousands of people 😏

Unsurprisingly, he left you on read. But dating him for this long meant you weren't even a little bit afraid of double or triple texting.

[you]:: maybe we can kiss under the light of an exploding creeper 😫

[you]:: or have a romantic walk through our rainbow sheep while a phantom looms overhead 🥰

It was after the third text when you finally saw him pick up his phone to text you back. You eagerly awaited his response, only to cackle when you read it.

[my sugar daddy]:: im going to replace you with hinata as my partner if you dont stop

Instead of annoying him any further, you set your phone to charge on your nightstand and went into the bathroom to get ready for the stream later.

Once you emerged, you picked up your phone to check the percentage and noticed a text from Kenma stating that he'd have you on at 8pm. You decided to spend the time until then cooking up some dinner for the both of you.

It seemed like time flew by because by the time you were done eating your food, it was 7:45pm. Only fifteen more minutes before you were live in front of all of Kenma's supporters. You refilled your water bottle and sat on the couch, staring at the blank T.V. as you practically dissociated from reality until Kenma came out of his office to retrieve you.

You noticed that he looked just as nervous as you did, despite his face not showing it the way yours did. His shoulders were up to his ears with tension, and his hoodie drawstring was pulled almost all the way through due to him fiddling with it.

He turned briefly to you after he brought you into his office, gesturing to make sure you knew to wait until he gave you the cue. He sat down, unmuted himself, and took down the 'away' screen he had for his audience.

This was it. Everything was going to change in literally ten seconds.

"Well, everyone...please welcome my partner, (Y/N)."

You walked cautiously around his large gaming chair and sat next to him in your modest desk chair that he had rolled into the room for the occasion.

Okay, you thought to yourself, now don't fuck this up.

"Hi, everyone."

Nailed it.

There was a painful moment of silence before the stream finally caught up, and you both heaved a sigh of relief when you saw nothing but declarations of excitement. Amongst the 'AHHHs' and spam of emotes were sweet comments about your appearance and how cute you two looked as a couple. You peeked over at Kenma and saw the ghost of a smile on his lips, elated to know that he was just as relieved as you were.

"Okay, let's start with the gameplay while we answer some questions," he said.

The questions and gameplay started out mild; when did you both start dating, how did you meet, who asked the other out first. They even asked a few simple questions about you specifically, like your favorite anime and your star sign. And while you did see a few bans in the chat after some inappropriate questions –no, you will not tell them the color of your underwear– most were easy and simple enough to answer.

Then they started to get a bit spicier.

"Bokutoslefttit donated $69.69 and asked, 'what is your main pet peeve with Kenma?'" he read, muttering a 'wow' under his breath at the username.

"Ooh, how can I be polite when exposing you?" you pondered while beating a cow to death with your sword. "It's probably how loud he gets whenever he's playing games with his good headphones on."

"I don't get loud," he defended.

"Oh yeah, you do. I've had to come in here several times to tell you to shut up like I'm your mother. I did it literally two days ago when you were playing with Lev."

"... Next question."

You rolled your eyes at his lack of comment but glanced over at the chat to pull up a new question. You stifled a laugh when you read, "Girlboss420 asked 'who has a fatter ass, Kuroo or (Y/N)?'"

"I'm not answering that."

"Come oooon, this is a Q&A. Can't have the Q’s without the A’s."

"Nope."

You were about to start reprimanding him for implying that Kuroo's ass was fatter than yours when you noticed he ran past you with a group of pillagers following closely behind. You turned to head into the house but when you opened the door, you noticed it was blocked off by obsidian.

"You are the absolute worst!" you exclaimed.

You made a break for it, sprinting past the shooting pillagers and around to the front of the house. You made it inside with only 2 hearts to spare. You turned, in real life, to Kenma to see him tight-lipped to avoid smiling about his betrayal.

"I'm moving my bed downstairs for the rest of the stream."

You both carried on with the stream without another incident, turning to the chat every now and again to answer some questions. Kenma even apologized to you by bringing home a horse that was named "I'm sorry."

It was about an hour and a half after you sat down when Kenma decided that he needed a bathroom break. Your heart fell to your ass when you realized that you'd be all alone to entertain his chat. You considered saying that you needed to pee as well, if it meant not having the spotlight on you.

Instead, when he got up to pee, you smiled and asked him to bring you back a snack and a refill. Oh, how the turns have tabled.

In the meantime, you decided to scroll through the chat and some of the donations to pick out another question to answer since Kenma was gone. You were initially looking for a funny or vulgar comment when you saw one that had a completely different vibe.

"Kermithateblog donated $25.00 and asked, 'what's your favorite part about being with Kenma?' Wow, that's a really sweet question. Let me think for a moment."

You paused to reflect on your relationship with Kenma over the two years you’d been together. You'd had your fair share of highs and lows like any other couple, but, in the end, you both learned how to work things out so you were both equally as happy in the relationship.

"So, as you guys know, he's a busy boy with streaming, creating content for YouTube, and also being a CEO of his own company, which all takes up the majority of his time," you began. "But when he finally can shut off his screens and crawls into bed late at night, I know that he's 100% there with me at that moment. He is able to give me his undivided attention and make me feel like his love for me comes above his love for gaming."

You gave a pause, trying not to get too emotional. You rarely got the chance to gush about Kenma because you knew how much he hated having attention on him, so if this was going to be your only opportunity to do so for a while, then you were going to take it.

"What y'all don't know is that he is the biggest baby when it comes to cuddling," you laughed. "He is absolutely the little spoon most of the time, and he loves when I stroke his hair and love on him all night. In a weird way, it makes me feel special and loved knowing that he trusts me enough to be vulnerable with me. I cherish the amount of time we have together because of that."

What you didn't know was that he had come back from refilling your water bottle rather quickly and stood outside the doorway to hear your speech. His heart almost burst when he heard your tender words describing how he made you feel. He knew that you rarely got to hear how much those quiet moments at night meant to him because he was guarded with his feelings.

Which is why he started into the room on a mission.

You smiled as soon as you saw him. "Welcome back, babe, we were just talking about--"

He approached you swiftly and leaned down to press a gentle kiss on your forehead. You hardly even got to bask in the moment before he was pulling away, setting down your water bottle as he sat back down with his controller in hand like he didn't just expose to his audience how much of a softy he really was.

It was in that moment when you realized how glad you were that you’d decided to appear on stream because you'd be able to look back at that clip over and over again to relive the intimate moment.

Noon on Sunday came at last. Kenma would finally be free from the prison of his office. Not to mention he could finally get off his ass and stretch.

Between your official appearance on stream and the sign-off, you popped in a few more times to say hello to the chat when you brought him some snacks and drinks. You stayed up through most of the night, although you accidentally napped for a few hours during the dead of night which gave you a little boost in energy.

In the end, the stream was a monumental success. Kenma had even managed to blow past his goal of $150k and make it to over $200k, which meant that he'd be getting the full e-body makeover for his next week of streams.

By the time Kenma came into your bedroom after freshening up and having a small snack, you were already dead asleep with your laptop propped open to show his now offline stream.

He tip-toed around the bed quietly, closed your laptop, pulled the covers up and over your curled-up body, and slipped in himself. As he settled, he felt you shift and grab at his worn t-shirt, opening your eyes slightly just to confirm that it's him.

He pulled you against his chest tightly, his body finally able to relax. He was sure it wouldn't be too long before he completely fell out.

"That was more fun than I thought it'd be," he heard you utter quietly.

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself." His fingers gently danced across your shoulder blades as you mushed your face into his clean shirt. "I can't believe we raised so much today so quickly."

"I'm so proud of you, baby. You worked so hard on this."

"I also donated $2000 anonymously to speed up the process," he mumbled sheepishly, pressing a gentle kiss on the crown of your head in hopes to lessen the blow of his secret.

It was quiet for a moment, and he wondered if he’d genuinely pissed you off before he felt the vibrations from your laugh against his chest.

"...I can't wait to ruin your hair, e-boy."

Written by: Luna

#kenma x reader #kenma kozume x reader #haikyuu x reader #kenma imagines #haikyuu imagines #kenma x y/n #kenma x you #haikyu x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu!! #our writing #kenma fluff #haikyuu fluff #luna writes

[imsebastiansta-n]

PR Stunt - Part 1

Warnings: lots of fluff to start with, bit of bad feelings, sebs management being money grabbing assholes, I think that’s it?

Word count: 770 

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Requests are open 🌟

Tag list form ❄️

 A/N: Okay so I wrote this bc I have an opinion and so do others. Please don’t comment/reblog talking shit, bc quite frankly I don’t want to hear it. I think the whole ‘relationship’ is bullshit and all she’s looking for is fame and money.  

If you don’t want to read this, that is absolutely fine, just keep scrolling and carry on with your day.

If you read it and have stuff to say and think its horrible? Don’t say it. Keep it to yourself.

If you read it and have your own opinion, great let me know. Just don’t say awful stuff, say your opinion and leave.

If you read it and have the same opinion as me, great let me know. Again, dont be horrible.

Either way, everyone has an opinion whether it be good or bad. As long as I don’t get death threats and little, teeny boppers in my dm’s going all keyboard warrior, go nuts. 

PS: before anyone says it, I’m not a ‘jealous’ fan. I just care deeply for Sebastian’s wellbeing and mental health. Something a lot of people seem to forget about.

PPS: thank you for 600 followers. You’re all so great 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was 3:40 am and you and Sebastian where currently at JFK airport waiting to board a plane to Ibiza.

It was your 4th anniversary, and with Seb working hard on making movies and you studying for your (your Uni) course, neither of you had time to really spend time together. Sure, you went to bed together, but Sebastian was usually awake at 5:30am to get ready for work, while you went to Uni. When you both came home, you were both too exhausted to do anything other than sleep.

 It was starting to take a toll on your relationship, so you and Sebastian both decided a nice holiday was what you both needed to rekindle it.

With your semester ending, and Seb’s current movie being rapped up it was perfectly timed.

So here you where, currently leaning on his shoulder trying to hold back a yawn and failing as your eyes fluttered shut.  

“It’s okay, babe. We’ll be called for our plane soon and then we can sleep.” Seb whispered into your, giving you a small peck.

You hummed in response causing him to chuckle and lean his head on yours and started to people watch.

It felt like minutes when you were softly woken from your nap by Sebastian.

“Baby, come on you gotta wake up. Our flight was called.” He gently shook you awake; you squinted your eyes from the airport lights being too bright and slowly sat up, taking a big stretch.

“Ooh big stretch.” He cooed making you giggle. You both grabbed your suitcases and carry-on bags and made your way to your gateway.

As you were both walking to the gateway, an awful feeling appeared in your belly. Like you knew something bad was going to happen, but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it.

Frowning to yourself, you tried to rack your brain for anything you may have forgotten. You locked the door, made sure all the lights were turned off, made sure your shared apartment was tidy.

So then what was it that gave you the bad feeling?

Sebastian noticed you frowning and frowned himself.

“What’s going on in that head of yours, sweetheart?” he softly asked as to not startle you.

“I just have this really bad feeling in my stomach, and I don’t know why. Its not the flying, we’ve flown so many times now that it’s practically a breeze. I’m trying to think as to what it could be.” You pouted, still trying to figure out the feeling.

Sebastian swallowed hard, thankful you didn’t notice.

He knew the bad feeling you felt, and he knew it well.

You see, in the 4 years you and Sebastian had been together you’ve both been extremely private about your relationship. Neither of you post anything to social media, if asked by paparazzi the question either gets ignored or the subject gets changed. The same if Seb has to go onto a tv show.

What you don’t know, is that Sebastian had a meeting with his management a year ago. They wanted him to become more public with his relationship with you, so they could bring in the big bucks to their wallets. Thankfully, Seb refused to put you in the spotlight intentionally and told them no, in some not so nice words.

But because he told his management no, they threatened to drop him. They gave him an ultimatum.

He either puts you in the spotlight so he can get more publicity, which means more buck in the pockets for them, or he can dump you and be in a PR relationship.

He refused both options. 

Which then came back to then bite him in the ass big time.

They forced the PR on him.

And he never told you.

But he never lied. If you asked him what he was doing, he’d tell you he was meeting up with a friend.

And you never doubted him because you trust him with your life.

Because you’re in love with him.

Its because of your love for him, and his for you that he felt the guilt in the pit of his stomach. His heart stung every time he had to be seen with the blonde woman, it stung because if you saw it and asked, he couldn’t lie to you. He’d have to tell the truth and the thought of breaking your heart and the tears in your eyes would break him so bad.

So he never said anything.

He tried to forget.

Until you started to get the bad feelings.

Every time the blonde woman was somewhere you both were.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

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@shafverani 🌙 @buckys-fairy 🌙 @nevenabadr 🌙 @malikstan 🌙 @tiredwriter 🌙 @sea040561 🌙

#avengers preferences #avengers imagines #marvel mcu #marvel preferences #bucky barnes #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes imagines #bucky x female reader #bucky fluff #bucky x reader #bucky imagine #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes incorrect quotes #bucky barnes soulmate au #sebastian stan x fluff #sebastian stan #seb stan x reader #seb stan x you #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan imagines #avengers imagine #avengers masterlist #the avengers #marvel imagine #marvel

[modx-reborn]

helloooo again :] its ur favorite pansy, im gonna throw more worms in ur compost heap

imagine being like. a camboy/camgirl/porn livestreamer. and simpbur comes across ur stream when searching for. stress relief. and he starts just,, frequenting your stream. becoming more enamoured by you and stalking you outside of stream. on social media and if you live nearby in real life

maybe you have a po box where people can send you toys/things they want you to use on stream, and knowing simpbur he'd spend so much money spoiling you.

eventually you start wondering who's the anonymous donor sending you money and other items, you sort of want to give them a private show. after all, its just a small thank you for everything they've done for you.

you dm them after stream, trying to coax them to turn on their camera. ask them what they're into, explaining you want to know them a little more.

you tell him you want to get off with him, this is a personal show after all.

ill let you take it from here :) <3

-🍊

Oh ho ho 🍊, yes.

Your shows weren't site toppers or even top five on the days you do stream, and yet there are still quite a few regulars that you know off by heart, their screen names are written on something or other or maybe even on a schedule for a private stream after they had spent a certain amount of money during one of your shows and yet there was one that you only had as an anonymous account with a few numbers.

This particular person would donate, tip, and do paid votes often even sending things for you to wear or use in streams to your P.O box, mind you some of the things they write in the letters they send make you flush a deep red with how they seem to long for you and your attention.

Little did you know that your dear anon was beyond enamoured with you, knowing everything he could. Names, birthdate, home town and even your apartment complex (if not the actual floor, not the number not yet but he would get that sooner or later) all this information was tucked away just waiting for the day he gets his chance to be near you, to have you and be your only one.

After all, he could give you everything you ask for and then you would only do shows for him and him alone, or so his mind told him.

So after another one of your shows you put a plan in motion, knowing that your dear anon would sit and wait till the very last moment to log out, lingering in your room till you disconnected and the screen goes black. Using this little piece of knowledge you call him out, cooing for him to DM you and let you put on a private show for him, telling him it would be for him and him alone as thanks for all he has sent/done for you.

His message shooting through before you could finish your sentence, letting him hear a small laugh before the main screen goes dark and a small pop up tells him you're calling, a private call with you made his mind melt.

Your face filling his screen, and your voice streams from his speakers as you try to coax him to turn on his camera, wanting to see the person who had been so good to you. Even going as far as pulling some of the toys that he had bought for you into the frame, running your fingers over a rather life-like cast dildo knowing that it was most likely a cast of his own cock hoping that the sight would spur him into doing what you asked.

When he does, you're greeted with the bottom half of his face, lips parted and his breath shaky when it reaches his mic, a rumpled button-up shirt parted over unbuttoned jeans. One of his hands curled at his chin as the other grips his thigh, not wanting to move till you speak again, cooing over how good he looks on your screen telling him how this is for him and him alone and thus he could ask for whatever he wanted.

Finally getting to hear the voice of your top donator and loving the sound you hear, filing it away for future use as it was a delight to your ears even if he stuttered and stumbled over some of his words. Asking for nothing more than being able to get off with you, to watch you us the toy still being traced by your fingers, knowing full well that it had never been used in any of your shows, inadvertently confirming your thoughts on what it was.

"Oh, pretty boy of course I can, wanna watch me get off on your cock. Want to see how you touch yourself to my shows, knowing that right here, right now it's your cock in me, not some factory cast imitation? God, you are a big boy wonder how you would actually feel in me..."

Your words feeding into his obsession, especially the last sentence, his mind-warping the words into something like a confession of wanting him rather than just something cooed at him to help him get off.

#🍊 anon #c: simpbur #dsmp smut #mcyt smut #k: exhibitionism #k: toys #k: teasing #cw: sex work #mxad #anon response

[deepdonutkid]

Kismet

Requested: No

Paring: Shelby!Sister Reader x Isaiah

Words: 5624

Summary: For a year now, you had a secret relationship with Isaiah and even when he is still in the same room with you, you can’t stop feeling lonely. It’s not that you don’t love him anymore, it more about the weight of the secret you have to carry. But with Tommy as you big brother you can’t risk, telling the truth or your man might get shot.

Note:

I was in the mood for a Shelby!Sister reader x Isaiah and it turned out to be way longer than I expected it... and I even cut out dialog... So here it is!

It’s also flavored with Junior Peaky Boys fun at the beginning. And I was inspired by my homegirl’s one shot called star and my story is an addition to hers, it’s the same night, but Bonnie has some other adventures than the reader and Isaiah.

Somehow I feel like everybody is a little ooc, but I couldn’t correct it.

Requests and tag list are still open, feel free to dm me or send me an ask.

tagging: @bonniesgoldengirl​ @justalonelyslytherin​ @theshelbyclan​ 

Warning: swear words, drinking, binge drinking, gambling, a hinted smut and a sweet ending

It was one of those nights, nothing special, just the usual fellows around the same table in the Garrison.  You had fun nevertheless. All your friends were right there, you had enough to drink and you had a luck hand today. The cards seemed to work in your fortune.

Deviously smiling you revealed your hand. You just had won this round and it gave you unholy amounts of satisfactions. “Ha”, you cheered: “Suck it up.”

Your friend shrugged and shoved his coins in your direction. All he said was a very grumpy “There you go”, but it pleased you.

You took the money and peaked around the corner. Where was Michael with the drinks? He was like a brother to you, but he was just your cousin. Maybe it was because you were born just two months before his older sister, Anna. Even though, she was gone Michael came back to his real family and now you were closer than ever. You cared for him, more than your siblings did.

But that didn’t mean you wouldn’t hit him, if he just left the bar to fuck with some random girl. It was not about him having sex, more about leaving without telling anybody. Especially when he was supposed to get drinks for the table. You moaned and said: “Where is Michael?”

“Probably doing somebody”, Isaiah joked and lit a cigarette. Then he offered you one and you took it gladly. Actually, you bit your lip and gave him the side-eye, but you had to hide your smile in front of the others. Bonnie and Finny weren’t the smartest boys in Small Heath, but you wouldn’t risk it.

You had so much fun with Isaiah that you didn’t even know when it started. Months passed by, while you were completely caught up in your little game with him. Nobody knew it. That was mainly Isaiah’s fault. At first it amused you to keep your relationship with him secret, but now you were ready to tell your family about it. Your boyfriend didn’t like the idea.

Somehow you thought Michael started to notice. He gave you the glace, which said: “I know, dear”, but maybe you were just getting crazy. You just had to be more careful around others now and everything was fine.

The night was still young and you were keen to make Bonnie lose all his money today. He had won the boxing match earlier and the bruises were still visible, but unfortunately for him, he couldn’t win against you. It was just a card game, but it filled you with gleeful joy. This and the fact that Isaiah was sitting next to you. Sometimes he would brush your thigh with his fingers, which made you giggle even more.

“There he is”, yelled Finny while being so fucking drunk, like you never had seen him before. Michael arrived with messy hair and his tie was undone, but he had your drink and that was all that you care for. “Finally”, you fluted and ripped the glass of his hand: “Thank you, babe.”

And the whiskey was still cold, which meant he fucked the girl first and ordered the drinks afterwards. “How was she? Good?” you asked before you took a sip from your whiskey. You weren’t a lightweight when it came to drinking, maybe not as well as Arthur and John, but you could tolerate much more than Ada and Finny. Your little brother was so drunk, he looked like his head was all empty and yet filled with bullshit.

Michael sat down next to you and answered: “Mhh, she was okay, but she talked too much.” Then you felt the weight of a hand on your thigh again. A shiver rushed down your spine, but it was the wrong side. Your cousin had put his hand on your knee. “Everything alright, Y/N?”

You nodded. “Yeah, everything is perfect”, you blabbered hoping he wouldn’t keep asking questions, but he did. “Don’t be so worried, every time I’m with a girl. I know you’re still a virgin, but you can get some too. Tommy wouldn’t be against it.”

How wonderfully wrong he was. Neither were you a virgin nor would Tommy be okay with this. After all, you were his little sister and he wouldn’t accept the guy, you were sleeping with. Of course, Isaiah was a friend of the family, but after the whole thing with Ada and Freddie you had something to worry about.

The best snarky comeback was right on the tip of your tongue, but you couldn’t say it without letting something slip. ‘What gives you the idea I’m still a virgin?’ And yet you were silent as the guy who fucked you, sat right next to you. You felt trapped and decided to go straight forward. “Yes, he would. You know it and everybody in Small Heath knows it.”

“Oh whatever”, Michael mumbled: “Just drink enough and you eventually forget about it.”

You grinned and emptied your drink. “Fuck it, let’s play some cards. I’m not done with Mr. Gold over here.”  Then you took the cards and dealt them to start the next round.

Much later that night when you brought Finn back home and went straight back to the pub, in front of the entrance, you stumbled into Bonnie. “Is there a reason why you’re smirking?” you asked him. He was gleaming red and smiling like an idiot.

Then you remembered. “The singer, right?” Bonnie nodded and his grin got even wider. “You talked to her?” Again he gave you a silent answer. You grabbed his arm and pulled him back inside. He was a lot heavier than you thought, but then again, you were just a girl and he was a boxer.

Sometime it was weird to only have male friends, it just happened. Maybe it was because of your brothers. Maybe that’s why you never acted like a proper girl. Of course you felt like a woman and you liked your body, but in your eyes it was so much easier to talk to guys.

“Eyy, where did you found him?” Michael slurred and helped you to put your friend on a chair again. With your hands finally free you had the chance to explain. “Found him outside. I don’t know what he did there, but he talked to the singer.”

Both, Isiah and Michael nodded. It was only logical for Bonnie to freak out after it talking to her. He was there every Friday night looking for the singer and now his brain seemed to melt, just because she said something to him. But neither of you knew, what she said exactly. Maybe this was a problem for another night. It didn’t look like Bonnie was able to answer.

So you ordered some more drinks and sat back down again. In this separate room, which was reserved for your family, it was almost too tempting to get close to your boyfriend again. Isiah looked so good that night and it hurt to be unable to touch him… or to kiss him. But you would be satisfied with just holding his hand now.

It was a curse; you knew it soon after you realized that you loved him. He was handsome, charming and a loyal friend. There was no better man for you, even though you wished you could be together in public. And again you bit your lip and moved your chair away from him.

But you couldn’t think about this anymore, it was too frustrating and luckily somebody else caught your attention. It was Bonnie who mumbled very quietly: “I think she kissed me, but it could be a dream as well. It felt so surreal.”  You padded his shoulder and nodded to underline your compassion.

It was just the same with Isaiah. Whenever you two were alone, it was amazing and beautiful. He was so soft and romantic and he just made you happy. But every time you woke up and he was gone, the sweet scenery shattered. And out in public it was getting annoying to find excuses to be with him or getting away, so you could spend some time alone with him and you had to lie to your whole family about your whereabouts. Slowly it became exhausting.

There was nothing you could do about it, so you just drank your whiskey and talked with the boys about Bonnie’s singer and the girl Michael had. It was so easy for them to display their relationship in the public, but of course you didn’t have this privilege as a girl. Apparently, you needed to be protected. Or so it has been explained to you. You wasn’t concerned for your safety but for your freedom. Tommy said it was his job as your big brother to care for you, even if it felt like he was controlling you. You have always been the wild one among your siblings and everything was fine, until your mum died and your dad left. Then Tommy was in charge and sometimes his opinions would vary from yours, which led to fights. And yet you feared what he might do, if he found out about your secret.

All the sudden Bonnie fell from his chair and you groaned. Now somebody had to bring him home as well. First Finn and now him… but why they couldn’t take the whiskey today? You weren’t nearly as drunk as them, but still.

Isaiah stood up and picked his friend up. “I’m taking him home. I’ll be right back”, he said, before leaving.

Now Michael and you were alone. It wasn’t what you wanted. The only thing you could think of was smooching the sweet lips of your boyfriend. You were caught up in your little fantasy, when your cousin woke you up again. “Isaiah is acting weird lately.”

“Oh… really? I didn’t notice”, you replied: “He seemed normal to me.” Your hand grabbed the fringe of your dress. Talking about him made you nervous.

Michael moaned and fumbled for his cigarettes. He put them out, you took one and he turned his between his fingers, when he added: “I don’t know, maybe I’m getting paranoid, but I think he is hiding something from us.” Then he lit his cigarette and took a drag from it.

You inhaled sharply and stared into the void for a second, before answering: “Don’t be silly, he is just as loyal as ever.” Then you laughed and Michael joined in. “Yeah, you’re probably right. I just needed to get this off my chest.”

The rest of the conversation went just like usual. You chatted, you bickered and you had fun. While the bell already announced the new day, Isaiah came back.

In this tiny glimpse of a moment you couldn’t hide your smile and he reciprocated. Actually, you were just waiting for Michael to leave now. It was your plan all along, but patience has never been your strong suit.

It took three more rounds for Michael to say goodnight. “Take care of her, will you?” Isaiah nodded. When Michael finally grabbed his jacket and headed to the door, you felt unbelievably excited. Your fingertips slapped a melody on the table, while you watched him leaving. The door shut and now you had what you longed for all night.

You turned around and looked at him. Gosh, waiting felt like an eternity. Now you were the one smiling like an idiot. Slowly Isaiah came closer and his hand pulled you to him for a kiss. “Finally”, you whispered against his lips, before giving him what he wanted.

After you two parted you rested your head on his shoulder. Now you were getting tired as well, but you didn’t want to go to your bed. “I was waiting the whole evening for this”, he moaned and stroked your hair.

The smell of his perfume made you realized how much you missed him too, even though he was with you since you went to Garrison tonight. You moved closer to him and wrapped your arms around him to give him a tight squeeze. Then you signed: “I wish we didn’t have to hide” and buried your face in his shirt.

“Babe”, he replied: “We already had this conversation. It wouldn’t end well. Let’s just enjoy what we have as long as we can.” It hurt, but Isaiah was right. There was no chance Tommy was getting you off the hook, once he knew about it. And no matter how you explained it to him, he would still be against it. You were too young for stuff like that, as if he didn’t fucked Greta, when he was the same age.

You leaned back to see his beautiful face again. There was something in his eyes, a twinkle or something like that, but it always made you feel comfortable. A lick of your lip was enough to purpose the idea of doing something nasty. He knew you since you were children and it was like he could read your thoughts, especially the dirty ones.

Isaiah started giggling and asked: “Hey, babe, I still can cheer you up, right?”

Maybe it was time for some fun, different to the fun you had before with your friends. The word pleasure would describe it well and with his knowing look he gave you so many ideas. You laughed and nodded. “I think it might help when you do the thing with your tongue.”

“Oh”, he responded amused: “Like this?” And then grabbed you for a kiss and god, what a kiss it was. His tongue brushed your upper lip just to enter your mouth and explore it as if it was your first kiss. He even bit your lip playfully and kept going until you couldn’t breathe no more. Your knees started shaking and it was needless to say, he was the best kisser you ever had.

It took you a while to catch a breath again, but then you answered: “Yeah, just like this… But maybe we could go to your place and do a little more?”

He didn’t seem to be so sure about this suggestion. His thumb stroked your shoulder as he held you in his arm. Because he was so quiet for a second, you knew, he thought about this backwards and forwards. “But right when the sun comes up, you have to go back home”, he argued.

Again, Isaiah was right. You should take too many risks. Otherwise you might get caught and neither of you wanted that. All you could do was to shrug and agree: “Just don’t shoo me after we fucked.” There was bitterness in your voice. What wouldn’t you give to wake up next to him every morning?

The pub was almost empty, when you left. You couldn’t hold his hand on the way out. Everybody in Small Heath was Tommy’s spy. Back on the streets a cold wind blew. Now you had an excuse to go near him and he shared his coat with you. Isaiah was always so sweet and caring. You knew you wanted to spend your future with him. There was no other man and you wouldn’t get over him, not now and not in five years.

You even took off your shoes before entering the Jesus household and followed him on your tiptoes to his room. It was completely dark in the house and the silence was haunting, but good for you, you knew the way by now. The excitement made your fingers tremble.

Finally you arrived where you wanted to be the whole day, in his room. Isaiah closed the door as quietly as possible and started smiling. You walked up to him and started to unbutton his shirt. Now you didn’t want to waste any time.

And neither did Isaiah. He was ripping down your dress, which only worked because the straps were so thin. His hands were all over your body and you couldn’t stop kissing every inch of his skin. It felt like magic whenever he touched you. You moaned, when he played with your bare breasts. To silence you he put his thumb on your lips, which you took as an invitation to suck it. Maybe it was mean to tease him like that, but you were desperate for his affection.

An hour later you laid next to him, your head on his chest as he stroked your hair. “You should leave, before we both fall asleep, babe”, he whispered, which caused you to sign. Leaving now was draining, even exhausting. After this wonderful sex, you were too tired to move anywhere, not to the bathroom and certainly not back to your cold bed.

You pouted your lips and tilted your head, so you could give him your puppy eyes and a pretty please with cream and a cherry on top. “Just ten more minutes. Your bed is way comfier than mine.”

He laughed and kissed your forehead. “That’s just because I’m in this bed and you like to use me as your personal giant pillow.” Your fingers hovered about his belly. Even though his muscles weren’t tense now, you could still feel the strength lying beneath his skin.

While your index finger drew circles around his bellybutton, you whined: “Maybe… just maybe that is true, but I still want to lay here for a bit. Otherwise I start to feel like a whore, who only comes for sex and leaves silently afterwards.”  It wasn’t a knock against Lizzie or her job, but you didn’t like the feeling, when you got home and had to find sleep in your own bed. Even though you had a relationship with him, you still felt lonely. Especially when the sun was rising and nobody was by your side.

“You’re not a whore and you know that”, he argued looking a little concerned.

Then you turned on your back and stared at the ceiling. “No, I’m a Shelby and that is probably worse”, you scoffed.

Now Isaiah was silent and had no witty comeback for that. Maybe, because it was true. If you weren’t part of the family, you could be with anyone, whoever you wanted. Carrying the name Shelby was the only reason, why you had to hide your relationship with Isaiah.

After a while he mumbled: “Okay, stay for a while, but you should be back before they open the shop.” By that time you were already half asleep and yet his words made you smile. He wrapped his arms around you, the little spoon and purred like a cat. Just in this position the both of you fell asleep.

Loud steps were coming near the door, but they wouldn’t wake you up. The screaming of Isaiah’s name did. It was a familiar voice and it took you a couple of minutes to notice, it was your brother Finn who shouted and ran down the hall. Suddenly you were wide awake. You startled up and looked around the room. The sun was already up and shining through the window. Then you saw Isaiah, who was just as frightened as you were.

If Finn came rushing through that door, your secret relationship was no longer secret. “I locked the door last night”, he whispered, which was relieving to you, but still no perfect solution for this problem.

Now Finn arrived at the other side of the door and was knocking on it like crazy. “Isaiah, wake up! Y/N is gone. Nobody can find her and Michael said you were the last one with her in the bar”, your brother yelled. You could hear the panic in his voice, but you couldn’t get caught. Not now.

You stumbled out of the bed and collected your clothes, when you heard Isaiah ask: “What are you going to do? You can’t go out there. He will find out.” And you knew your boyfriend wasn’t concerned about Finn, more about Tommy.

The tension in the room was immense. You had to come up with a plan or your brothers would shoot your lover in front of your eyes.

Suddenly you knew what to do. You pushed the pile of clothing to your chest and squeeze it thigh, when you explained in a lower tone: “I’m gonna hide in the wardrobe and then you open the door and go with Finn away. Afterwards I can come out and then I go to the betting shop and tell the others I have fallen asleep on a bench or something.” It was not the best plan, but yet your only option.

Isaiah nodded and you climbed into the cabinet where he stored his shirt and jackets. The second you entered the small wooden space, you knew it was all going down. Call it intuition, call it divination, call it whatever power Polly owned, but you felt it rushing through your body. He closed the door behind you and then you could hear him stumble into his pants.

Only half clothed he unlocked the door to let Finn in. Isaiah was still sleepy. He wasn’t the morning type of person and before he hadn’t had his breakfast he wasn’t really available. Finn strode up and down. You heard is nervous steps. “Everybody is freaking out right now. Polly thinks somebody kidnapped her or worse. I mean, she has always been unratable in her doings, but this time my sister is really going of the edge. It’s already past lunch and nobody has seen her”, Finn explained: “This morning her bed was empty and I thought I shouldn’t worry, but now I’m afraid I should have said something sooner.”

The cabinet was very uncomfortable and yet you tried not to move or to make a noise, which would cause Finn’s attention. However, being in Isaiah’s position didn’t seem to be pleasant as well. He had to lie to his best friend about the whereabouts of his missing sister, knowing she was sitting right here. Isaiah patted his friends shoulder and said nothing.

Finn didn’t calm down and seemed to be upset, Isaiah wasn’t panicking like him. “C’mon, get dressed. We have to look for her. She might be lying somewhere in the dirt. We shouldn’t waste even more time, standing around.” Then he walked to the closet and opened just the door where you had been hiding.

Butt-naked you fell down to the floor and looked up to your younger brother, who had the same face expression as the one time you told him where the babies were coming from. Some when later you would look back at this moment and would have a good laugh about this, but right now it felt like your world was collapsing.

He should have seen you like this and it took you a whole minute to gather the mental energy to get back up at your feet and greet him like it was the normal thing to do in a situation like this. “Hey, Finny, there I am.”

Your brother froze mid movement and stared at you as if you were the first pink elephant the world has seen or a bear riding a bike. Then he broke the silence. “What?”, he winced. There was no anger in his voice, just total confusion.

Finn looked to Isaiah and then back to you. “You screwed my sister?!”

There was no answer to this question.

“How long?” Finn asked: “How long did you hide that from me?”

You glared over to you boyfriend as if you were asking him for permission to say something. Isaiah signed and nodded. There was no point in denying this anymore. It was over.

Now you had to tell the truth. “A couple of months, maybe a year or so”, you croaked and your voice sounded strange. Like it was not your own and even though you dreamt about finally opening up, it shouldn’t have been like this.

Your brother yelled: “A year?! A whole fucking year? Damn, I should be proud because apparently you two are excellent liars with no moral issues… you two deserve each other.” You heard the disgust and disappointment, when he spoke and it broke your heart. Back then, when the whole thing started you though he might be the only one of your brothers to understand you. How wonderfully wrong you were.

“No”, you said under your breath: “Don’t fucking do this to me. I would have told you, if you wouldn’t have run straight to Tommy after you knew. Everybody knows you can’t keep a secret. So don’t act like it was my fault or my mistake, because it’s not. I would have gladly told everybody, I’m like him very much, but you and Tommy and Arthur and John made it impossible for me to even talk with a guy who is not part of the gang. You can’t turn this around and act like you are the victim in all this.”

It was time for you to stand up for yourself and your decisions… and time for you to get dressed. You didn’t seem as responsible as you were when you were still naked and in front of the closed you have been hiding in. Now you knew how wrong it was to lie and hide your relationship, because it wasn’t their concern. It was your life, your body and your choice. Nobody could take that from you and certainly not your brothers. You weren’t afraid of them. All your life you saw how your brothers treated women and you said nothing about it, but this should change right now.

So you stood there, furious and filled with rage, put on your dress and your shoes and said one last thing, before leaving: “This madness has to end.”

You stormed out of the room- not caring for Isaiah or Finn- and heading for the King of Small Heath to throw him out of his high throne. Your hair was a nest and you smelled like a bar after a dirty old night, when you entered the betting shop. Nobody was there, just the regular family members.

Everybody seemed to be relieved to see you again and then came close to hug you. Ada was right next to the door and the first to greet you. “Oh my god, you’re back, sweetie”, she muttered.

Next was Polly who examined your appearance for cuts and other injuries. Of course you had none, besides the hickeys Isaiah gave you. She tried to take a closer look of your neck, but you pulled away, which caused her to ask: “What happened? Where were you all night?”

Now Tommy was coming up to you. His steps were slow, but fierce and the glare in his eyes was pinching. “Just from the smell I would guess, she was with a guy this night”, he scoffed: “She probably had a lot of fun, but now she should say, who that guy was, so we can take actions.” You knew he was addressing you, even though he didn’t phrase it like that.

“I don’t think, this is your business”, you replied with a grin on your face. You wouldn’t back down. Not this time. “But yes, I was with a guy tonight. So you don’t need to worry. I’m completely fine.”

Your older brother led out a little laugh, pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head. “Well, well, well, I don’t care what you think. I’m your brother and it’s my job to make sure you’re safe”, he explained: “And now you tell me who he was.” Ah, past tense, a hint of what was going to happen.

You crossed your arms and tiled your head to give him a dismissive look. “Who said it was your job?” was your comeback, but your brother wasn’t remotely impressed. Neither of you would let the other win. You were too stubborn for this gesture of insight.

Others, including Arthur and John, were somehow intimidated by Tommy’s behavior, but not you. Actually, you learned too much from him to take his shit.  He taught you to help your head up high and how to outsmart your enemies.  Now you could use the same strategies against him.

“Ever since our father left and mom died, you act like you are in charge, but you’re not. We are your siblings, not your pawn, waiting for your command”, you hissed: “I have my own life and I make my own decisions and who I meet shouldn’t concern you.” Slowly your anger grew. It was a boiling feeling in your gut, like you were fueled with fire.

Tommy was getting gleaming red. You had hit the right spot and you knew you would hurt him with your words, but otherwise he wouldn’t understand. The words were stuck in his throat as he killed you with his looks.

Patiently, you waited for his answer. He wouldn’t give you the satisfaction, but silencing your brother was the best thing ever, since he was the reason why you felt miserable lately. “No comeback? No arguments, dear?” You loved to poke his wounds and you did it with a huge smile on your face.

“As if you would listen to me… You even said it yourself. You wouldn’t take my advice”, he responded and bid his lip. “But I don’t need to talk to you to teach you a lesson. You’re too young to fuck around town and I’m going to find the bastard who did this and kill him.”

The door was opened behind you and soon Finn entered the room. You gave your little brother the death glare you were known for. He shouldn’t get the idea he was allowed to talk about what he found out.

You should be raging right now, but all you could do was laugh. His empty threats weren’t as daunting as he thought. With nothing but spite you whistled: “I would love to see you try. I kept this a secret for over a year now and you noticed nothing. And now I can wait another year for you to find him… or I could run away… whatever you prefer.”

Now you’re pushing your luck. Finn could ruin everything, if he just said one wrong word. The palms of your hands were sweaty. It was a dangerous game you played there, but it was not like you could back out of it now. This was road of no return.

Tommy seemed to be more surprised than fuming, when he asked: “You slept with some geezers for a year now?” He respected your talent to keep it under the radar. Everybody who could shirk his rules deserved acknowledgement for putting up with this risk. Maybe he was finally realizing how much you had grown. You weren’t his little kitten anymore.

“No, not geezers, just one guy”, you corrected him: “But yes, that is true.”

You watched Tommy as he walked around the table, heading for the whiskey, while he nodded understandingly. “Mh, so you would say it’s love?”

A sign came from your lips. You already knew the answer, but you weren’t so sure, if you should say this out loud. After all, you didn’t even have a proper talk about this with Isaiah. Silence was filling the room, while you calculated your risks. If you said, you loved him and Isaiah wasn’t as serious about the relationship, you would look like an idiot. Good for you, he didn’t come to the betting shop to witness the fight between you and your brother. Finally you decided to tell everybody: “Yes, I do.”

“Good”, Tommy mumbled while he poured his whiskey: “Then you should have my blessing. Just give us the name now.” He took a sip and seemed to be amused by your embarrassment.

Talking about Isaiah, while he wasn’t present, was weird, but you knew why he stayed in the comfort of his own room. You weren’t mad at him for not running after you. This was your fight and not his. And after all your brothers were a little scary, when it comes to stuff like this.

But you had Tommy’s word now and nothing should happen to your man. You shrugged and rolled with your eyes. The fuss they made about this was still annoying.

Ada patted your shoulder and encouraged you to speak. “Do we know him?” The answer was yes, but it was also the reason, why you struggled to say it out loud.

Even John chimed in and kept pushing: “Yeah, what’s up with this fella?” He was smiling to let you know the mood had changed. Nobody was against you anymore.

“It’s…”, you started and fumbled for the seam of your dress: “It’s Isaiah.”

At first it was dead silence, while the others processed the information, then Arthur and John burst out in laughter. Finn seemed to be relieved, because he would have hated it to keep a secret like this. Your older sister was hugging you a little too tight and even Polly was smiling.

Tommy had a smug on his face when he muttered: “If that’s the case, then you should have your happiness.”

“Isaiah is a fine fella. You will be alright”, hummed Arthur. Apparently everybody was happy with your choice. You just had to stand up for yourself.

It felt like a huge weight was lifted off your shoulders and then you could laugh about it too. But suddenly you remember that Isaiah was still waiting for his death in his room. “I should go and let him of the hook”, you fluted and already went to the door when you heard Tommy said: “Don’t get pregnant or he has to marry you.”

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