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#no offense to any following me <3
daenerys-targaryen · 1 year
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i actually don’t think i have the patience and energy to argue with people who say “gif making isn’t work” to excuse stealing / reposting them without credit like. dude grow up are you fucking 12 or something.
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Dude, you're in idiot. The club q shooter is trying to say he's nonbinary in order to avoid hate crime charges. The people around him have stated that he's gone on multiple homophobic and transphobic rants and that they wouldn't feel safe having a gay person around him. Not that this matters to you, since catholics can't read. But you're an idiot
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received first hate mail! all they did was call me an idiot! on anon! and say that Catholics don't know how to read! which is hilarious! considering the reason that we have so many influential philosophical works is because of Catholics and our annoying habit of reading and writing!
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postanagramgenerator · 5 months
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since ahmeds gofundme seems to finally be giving him his money, the following now applies to those who follow the instructions at https://gazaesims.com/ to buy esims and send the unactivated qr codes to [email protected]. some notes that arent included on the website:
the app airalo is having a 40% off sale on all palestinian esims and is the cheapest option ive found, especially with the $3 referral code discount you can apply. you can get one for the middle east region for 50% off, but the ones specific to palestine are still cheaper.
my referral code is MANFRE5384. using these discounts i was able to get a 15 day esim for under 6 dollars.
it may be somewhat confusing to find the qr code itself. once youve bought the esim, click view instructions. the app will make you click through a tutorial, but once youre done it will show you the code, which you can then screenshot and email to the proper address.
here is a limited-time offer: send me a screenshot proving you got an esim-- either along with the text you want anagrammed or in a different ask/submission-- for an almost-guarantee ill do it. i say almost because i do want to set a few rules
the more you donate the longer the text ill anagram, at a rate of 2 letters per dollar. ie, 10 dollars will get you 20 letters, 20 dollars will get you 40. if you want me to actually anagram you cant fight the homestuck youre probably going to have to singlehandedly fund the rest of the campaign i cant really apply this rule in any hard sense to the esims but the general spirit still applies. more and longer-lasting esims = more leeway on text length
no slurs or otherwise offensive content
ill get around to it when i get around to it
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sunkissed-zegras · 11 days
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𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐅𝐔𝐋 𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐔𝐌𝐁𝐋𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐊𝐄𝐓𝐁𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐄𝐑 ─ PB⁵
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౨ৎ ─ summary | request -> "Could you write a Paige bueckers x Fem Reader pls! where they’re enemies but everyone is always teasing them (everything’s regular, like she plays for UConn and the reader can be a cheerleader or something idk). It can lead to smut or just a super cute story. Ofc you don’t have to follow the plot!"
─ word count | 1.8k
─ warnings | teasing obviously, kinda mean paige but not really, cheer coach being mean, mention of coach's weight (i had to im sorry), hurt/comfort (my new fav trope omg)
─ taglist | @xocherishxo @iienstein @yazmunson @eupheteral and here's a link to my taglist if anyone would like to join!!
─ ev's notes | my requests are closed rn but if yall wanna send in some concepts, please do i'm willing to indulge (trust me this more of a gift to me than anyone)
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"OH THERE SHE GOES AGAIN, THE DRAMA QUEEN!" PAIGE MOCKS as you feel your cheeks get red in embarrassment.
KK and Azzi exchange glance before looking back at the two of you. You let out an irritated scoff as Paige drank her water, her eyebrows raising as she awaited your response. You knew she was trying to get a reaction out of you, to see you stumble over your words and get embarrassed.
"Oh shut up," you landed on the simplest response as you rolled your eyes. Paige laughed as she shook her head in amusement as KK stifled a laugh.
Paige's mocking tone grated on your nerves, sparking irritation that simmered just beneath the surface. You shot her a pointed glare, your jaw clenched in frustration as you fought to keep your composure.
Paige smirked, clearly relishing the opportunity to ruffle your feathers. "Oh, did I hit a nerve, sweetheart?" she taunted, her voice dripping with sarcasm as she took a sip of her water, her gaze never leaving yours.
"I'm not a drama queen," you scoffed. "And I wasn't even talking to you! I was talking to Azzi!"
"Well you should've spoken quieter." Paige quickly retorted as your nose flared in utter irritation. "Oh nice jersey by the way," she added as she glanced down at the jersey you were wearing.
You rolled your eyes and huffed in frustration. You were a cheerleader and your team had decided to add some extra support for the girl's basketball team, so they made all the girls wear someone's jersey.
Now this wouldn't be a problem if they would've chosen any other girl on the team, but no. Somehow you ended up with Paige's and now you're sure, you'll never live it down.
"I'll speak however I want, thank you very much," you shot back, your tone dripping with sarcasm. "And as for the jersey, it's not like I had much of a choice in the matter."
Paige's smirk widened at your response, clearly reveling in your annoyance. "And here I thought cheerleaders were supposed to be graceful."
You scoffed, resisting the urge to roll your eyes at Paige's jab. "Graceful or not, at least I'm not the one tripping over my own ego," you fired back, your tone sharp with irritation.
Paige let out a melodramatic gasp, placing a hand over her heart in mock offense. "Ouch, that stings," she replied, her smirk never faltering. "At least I can back up my ego."
You arched an eyebrow, unimpressed by Paige's attempt to deflect your jab. "Oh, please," you retorted, your voice dripping with sarcasm. "Last time I checked, being able to shoot hoops doesn't make you a saint."
"Oh, but twirling around in the air with little pom-pom's does?" Paige's laughter echoed as you rolled your eyes. "I'd like to see you try and shoot a 3-pointer."
You couldn't help but chuckle at Paige's retort, her laughter infectious despite the underlying tension between you. "Fair enough," you relented, a playful glint in your eyes. "But I'd like to see you try and nail a perfect pyramid."
Paige raised an eyebrow, a challenge dancing in her gaze. "You wanna bet?" she replied, her smirk widening into a grin.
Azzi finally cut in and the both of you snapped out of it, remembering that it wasn't just the two of you at the table. "No, Paige, you're not going to be doing any tricks until the season is over."
You and Paige exchanged a knowing glance, the teasing atmosphere still lingering in the air between you. "Damn it," Paige teased, shooting Azzi a playful pout.
Azzi simply rolled her eyes, unfazed by Paige's antics. "Someone has to keep you in line," she quipped, a hint of amusement in her voice.
KK chuckled from beside Paige. "I actually wanna see Paige try and do that little trick in the air, uh... what is it called?"
Paige shot KK a playful glare, her competitive spirit reignited by his challenge. "You mean a basket toss?"
Your eyebrows furrowed as your lips curved into a smile at Paige's response. "How did you know that?"
"You always talk about how can't nail a basket toss, what can I say? I catch on." Paige shrugged as if it was nothing as you exchanged a playful smirk. "Can't be that hard."
KK started laughing as she shook her head in amusement. "Dude, it is hard."
"It can't be that hard. Maybe for Y/N..." Paige teased as you shot her a glare. "But not for me."
"Okay, let's bet. How much?" You glared at the blonde as she laughed. "50$."
"Only 50$? Please, let's see... 100$." Paige raised an eyebrow, her competitive spirit igniting at the mention of a bet.
You exchanged a glance with KK and Azzi, a mixture of excitement and annoyance bubbling within you. "Deal, let's shake on it."
"Okay, I'll give you 100$ if I can't land it and if I can, you'll give me it." Paige explained as she accepted your handshake with a smile.
"Yeah, that's how betting works, P." You teased as Paige's grip tightened slightly, a playful glint in her eyes as she shot you a glare.
"Shut up."
"You first."
"I asked you first,"
"Technically, not really-"
KK scoffed in amusement, interrupting your banter with a shake of her head. "You two are like an old married couple," she remarked, unable to hide her amusement. "Just kiss already."
"Oh shut up!" You guys both said union, Paige's blush obvious on her cheeks as she groaned.
──
The basketball game unfolded on the court, while you stood on the sidelines, cheering on your team with all your might. The gymnasium echoed with the applause of the crowd, the energy palpable as you did your usual routine.
But tonight, everything just felt like a haze. Every cheer felt forced, every move seemed to lack the usual grace and precision that defined your performances. Maybe it was the lack of sleep or finals that had finally been getting to you, but you were exhausted.
On top of all that, your coach was watching you like a hawk, his expression disapproving. With every misstep, you could feel his disappointment weighing heavily on your shoulders, adding to the burden of exhaustion that already consumed you.
Each word felt like a blow to your confidence, leaving you feeling hurt. You tried to maintain your focus, to push past the exhaustion and perform at your best, but it felt like an uphill battle.
Your coach's voice rang out above the din of the crowd, his words sharp. "Y/N, what was that? You call that a toe touch? I've seen better from a beginner! Jesus Christ."
Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as you fought to hold them back, to maintain a facade of composure in the face of your coach's harsh criticism. But inside, you were crumbling, your confidence shaken to its core.
Paige's head turned at that, she was sitting on the bench as she watched the exchange between you and the coach. Sensing your hurt, her expression softened, a flicker of concern crossing her features.
And as the final buzzer sounded and the game drew to a close, you excused yourself from the team and practically ran to the bathroom. You sniffled quietly as you let the tears out freely, feeling the weight of the entire night crashing on your shoulders.
After a few minutes, you cleaned up your running make-up and made your way back to the court to get your stuff. As you made your way towards the exit, you heard a familiar voice call out to you from behind. Turning around, you were surprised to see Paige running tp toward you, her expression softened with concern.
"Hey," she said softly, taking a step closer to you. "Are you okay?"
You nodded, forcing a small smile despite the lingering traces of tears on your cheeks. "Yeah, I'm fine," you replied, your voice wavering slightly.
She gestured for you to keep walking and you did, she walked up next to you. "You don't look fine," she remarked, her tone gentle yet firm. "Tell me what happened."
"Nothing," you replied rather defensively as Paige shot you a glare. You knew she was just trying to help so you sighed, trying to relax yourself. "It's not that big of a deal."
Paige narrowed her eyes slightly, clearly not buying your attempt to brush off the situation. "If it's bothering you enough to run off like that, then it's definitely a big deal."
You sighed, realizing that you couldn't hide your feelings from Paige, nor did you really want to. With a slump of your shoulders, you relented. "Fine, it's just... Coach was being really harsh on me tonight,"
Paige's expression softened, her concern evident as she listened to your explanation. "Yeah, I figured. I'm sorry." She paused, feeling slightly awkward as she shifted her weight from one foot to another. "If it makes you feel a better, I don't think he twirl in the air like you. Or just in general, 'cus you know, he's like 200 pounds."
Your lips curved into a smile before you even knew it, rolling your eyes as a laugh escaped your mouth. Her awkwardness melted away as she joined in your laughter as she watched your expression closely.
"No but seriously." Her smile softened as she gazed back at you. "Don't let him determine your worth. I already know you're gonna go pro." Paige paused as she took in her words, shaking her head as you let out another laugh. "Can you go pro in cheer?"
"I don't think so," you replied with a grin, shaking your head. "But hey, who knows? Maybe I'll be the first."
Paige chuckled, her smile widening as she playfully nudged your shoulder. "Well, if anyone can do it, it's you."
You felt her gaze locked on you as your lips began to hurt from grinning. You felt your cheeks warm up as her blue eyes held yours, a warmth spreading through you at the intensity of her gaze. It was as if time had slowed down, the bustling gymnasium fading into the background as you found yourself captivated by the depth of Paige's eyes.
Unable to tear your gaze away from hers, you felt a flutter of something unfamiliar stir within you—a warmth that spread from the depths of your being and settled comfortably in the space between you and Paige.
With a soft smile, Paige broke the spell, her laughter ringing out once more as she playfully nudged your shoulder. "Come on, let's get out of here."
"Where are we going?" You laughed as Paige's hand naturally fell on the small of your back to lead you to the exit.
"To celebrate with the girls." Paige smiled. You didn't need any more convincing, you were down for whatever. "You still hate my cocky ass, or whatever?"
You let out a breathless laugh as you shook your head, she always had to ruin the moment. She opened the door for you as she led you to her car, her hand lingering on the small of your back.
"Of course. You still think I'm a drama queen?"
Paige nodded as she smirked. "Always."
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↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !
↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡
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vaspider · 20 days
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Hi there! Hope you’re having a good day mama spider. Just dropping by to ask for some info on an addition to a post about Judaism you made. I chose to ask you and not op because i’ve sent you an ask before and know that you answer them. So real quick, why did you type out G-d rather than God or god? Does it have something to do with Judaism? Is it just for the faithful to follow and not goyim? As an atheist who was formerly Catholic i just wanna learn more and be respectful of others’ religions whenever i can. I know next to nothing about Judaism, even though they’re a good portion of my county’s population. Hope this ask isn’t insensitive in any way, and thanks for taking the time to read this <3
This isn't insensitive to ask. It's actually a great question, and I'm glad that you asked if you're curious.
Since those articles cover your asks pretty well, I'm gonna give you some free bits of info to help your quest for respectfulness, which is pretty rad, btw: we don't really use phrases like "the faithful" bc Judaism doesn't require faith in G-d. There is no conflict between Judaism and atheism & there are a lot of Jewish atheists and agnostics. Judaism is an ethnoreligion and a people in a way that a lot of religions aren't, and in fact, the symbolism for one of my favorite holidays emphasizes that we are not complete without all kinds of Jews:
The functions of the four species are defined by both their smell and taste, or lack thereof, along with some interesting imagery from the Midrash (Vayikra Rabbah 30:12): The etrog has both taste and smell, representing people who both perform good deeds and have Torah (knowledge). The lulav has taste but no smell, representing those who do not use their knowledge to perform good deeds. The hadass (myrtle) has smell but no taste, representing those who perform good deeds but lack the knowledge to excel at them. The aravah (willow) has no taste and no smell, representing those who lack both.
"Good deeds" here doesn't just mean "being nice to your neighbors" but refers directly to performing mitzvot/mitzvahs, the 613 commandments that observant Jews observe to varying levels of specificity and intensity.
It's not offensive to use a phrase like "the faithful," just isn't ... correct, you know? Instead, you'd just say Jews or Jewish people. If you're trying to refer specifically to Jews who are religious or believe in G-d... there isn't exactly a phrase for that, I guess you'd say "observant," because there are a lot of Jews who are observant but also atheists, since observant Jews may be observing mitzvaot for any number of reasons that have nothing to do with belief in the existence of G-d.
Anyway, there you go, with some bonus info. As always, I don't speak for everybody, 2 Jews 3 Opinions, etc.
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hyunjilicious · 10 months
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[bf!felix x reader]
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Summary: a chill evening on the couch turns into you and Felix exploring a new kink because tiktok is never a good influence. (SMUT-ish) 2.3k Warnings: SPIT KINK (tons of it, it's the main thing, so if you're not into that, don't read this), mentions of oral (m receiving) and other minor things like hair pulling or like Felix sucking your fingers. There's no actual smut in this, just two idiots who take turns spitting in each others mouths, I'm sorry, I have no shame. 18+ PLS!!!
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A soft grunt escaped your lips as you shifted around in place for what was probably the 5th time in the last 3 minutes. Your back was sore and you could barely feel your left foot, as it was already 6pm and all you did throughout the day was lay with Felix on the couch, talking and watching movies. Right now however, the room was silent as you both scrolled on your phones, the only forms of interaction between the two of you being the obscene number of kisses Felix would plant on your forehead every other minute, the way he played with the sleeve of your shirt, that one time you bit his chest just because you could and obviously, the tiktoks you decided to show one another.
Your feed had been fairly entertaining yet nothing out of the ordinary, until one specific video earned a reaction from you, in the form of a disgusted gagging sound. 
Felix didn't bother to speak up or ask what it was that you just watched, instead he just removed one of your earbuds and put it in his own ear as you angled the phone so that he could also see the video.
"I don't get it" he looked at you.
"It's gross"
"Is it?" he softly asked, looking at you as if he was too shy to tell you he took it as a personal offense.
"Yes? Of course? Who in their right mind asks someone else to spit in their mouth?"
He didn't answer and silence settled again. Due to the way you were completely pressed into his side, you couldn't see his face, so as one too many seconds passed where he failed to answer, you couldn't help but push yourself up onto your elbows to face him. "Felix?"
"You wouldn't ask me to do it?"
"No!?" you responded, offended.
"Not even if you knew I was into it and wanted to do it with you?"
His question made you stop. This wasn't hypothetical anymore. Now it wasn't just a random thing from the internet that you were chatting about; now it was about Felix, and something he personally wanted to do. With you. You swallowed thickly, the way your view on the topic shifted completely in under one minute making you question your morals. 
"I- I don't-" you mumbled, eyes cast somewhere over his shoulder, at the bookcase behind him. "It's not the same thing"
"How come?" he sweetly asked, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. If you didn't know any better, you'd have thought he played you. But he was just honest with you and you were just that in love with him. 
"Lix, don't do this to me!" you whined and pushed yourself up into a sitting position. 
He followed you. "Do what? Baby, I'm not trying to-"
"No, you're not trying to anything, but now I kinda wanna try it and it's gross. Are you happy?" you dramatically exclaimed, making him giggle. 
"Happy with what? Princess, what did I do?"
"You looked at me with those eyes and now I want you to-" you pointed to your phone, "do that to me"
That made him grin, "You want me to spit in your mouth, baby?"
Fuck, you squeezed your eyes shut in embarrassment. And the worst part of it all was the way your core reacted, making your thighs involuntarily rub against one another. "...maybe"
"I can do that if you want to" he softly said and placed a hand on your cheek as he leaned in to peck your lips. "I'd love to do it, actually. But only if you're sure"
"I am sure" he hurriedly answered, voice shaky and not at all as confident as you had hoped. It made him smile, it had been quite a while since he'd seen you this flustered and he had absolutely no idea how badly he missed it.
"It's ok" he reassured you and closed the distance between the two of you with a gentle kiss. His plush lips enveloped yours and your heart rate slowed down on the spot, you melted in his arms - your safe place; your anxieties dissipating by the second. Lips still locked, Felix helped you crawl into his lap, his hands remaining on your hips as the kiss consumed itself in the most intoxicating way possible. 
When you pulled away, you had to take a deep breath to calm your dizzy mind, and when you looked back at him - at his lazy and hungry, yet warm and understanding eyes, the words just flew out of your mouth. "Felix, please?"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes!"
"Ok then" Felix smiled. 
He straightened his back and grabbed your chin, pecked your lips one more time and then gently tilted your head back. "Open your mouth for me, sweetheart"
With your heart again beating out of your chest, you followed his command - opened your mouth wide and fixed your stare on his.
"That's right, doll. Stay like that for me for a second, baby. So beautiful"
All you could do was blink and bring your hands up to the sides of his neck for support - mental support, because with your knees on either side of his lap, there was physically no way for you to alleviate the growing pain between your legs. 
"Push your tongue out for me" he instructed further, and nodded in approval when you did as told. "So good for me, my pretty baby."
The anticipation was killing you, and you nearly moaned out loud when Felix titled your head back even further - so that he was now fully towering above you. 
For a split second, your stare traveled down to his lips and the instant you saw them part, you looked back up into his eyes.
"Are you ready, sweetheart?"
You nodded, eagerly this time, your head bopping against his hand - gesture which made him smile. But he fought against it, repressed the grin, and closed the distance between your bodies before shamelessly spitting directly onto your awaiting tongue. 
Shivers ran through your whole body and you remained there for a second, frozen, until he used his thumb on your chin to slowly close your mouth. "You can swallow for me, baby"
And the second you did, another wave of shame washed over your body, making the pressure between your legs even more intolerable than before. You then licked your lips and shook yourself, your head instantly dropping, your stare fixed between your bodies.
"Hey, hey, don't do that-" Felix cooed, and gently got you to face him again, "Please don't hide from me, angel, ok?"
"Ok" you mumbled and pushed yourself closer to him. Even though you were already basically pressed flush against him, Felix still wrapped his arms around your waist to help you settle closer. 
"How was it? Did you like it?"
"Yes" you cringed. "I did"
"Good, my baby" he pecked your lips ever so softly, "You were so good for me. I liked it too, a lot" 
Despite your interaction with him being the cause of your embarrassment, his mere presence was also the only thing that could ease your mood. So, as a shy giggle left your lips, you hid your face into his shoulder. "Weird…"
"What's on your mind, hm?" Felix questioned, "I can hear the wheels turning"
"Um…" you laughed but failed to give him an answer. He, however, didn't need one. He knew already.
"Y/n?"
"Yes?" you looked up and met his warm glance.
"Yes, baby. You can do it, too. Isn't that what you wanted to ask?"
"Was it that obvious?" you chuckled, resuming your position in front of him. "Am I really that easy to read?"
"Not all the time, just sometimes. What else could've gotten you like this? You were never this shy around me"
"I'm sorry"
"Stop it, don't apologize. I think it's cute, I love seeing you like this. But I want you to be comfortable, ok?"
"Talk me through it?" you shyly asked, pushing your hair back as you got into position. This made Felix throw his head back as his eyes fluttered shut. He was riled up already - this whole situation didn't only affect you, but he kept his calm and remained composed for the sole purpose of offering you safety and confidence, but there was only so much he could take.
His cock was shamelessly stretching the fabric of his sweatpants, pressing directly against your heated core. It was less than ideal for him.
Fighting against himself, Felix grabbed your hips and pushed you up, so that now you were the one towering above him. His head was leaning back against the couch, droopy eyes studying your every feature. 
"Ok, baby, ready?" he patted your ass.
You nodded.
"Come on, then. I'll do whatever you tell me" he tried to encourage you, but the way you blinked let him know very clearly you had no idea what he meant. So he continued, "Tell me to open my mouth. Tell me how you want me. Show me. You can do anything you want with me, love. I'm yours to do as you please"
"Ok, but like-"
"Y/n, it's me. There's no need to be this nervous"
"But what if I'm awkward?"
"Baby-" he took a deep breath, "Half the blood in my body is in my dick right now. You couldn't be awkward if you tried. And even if you could, I probably wouldn't even be able to tell. You know I'm wrapped around your finger, princess"
"Ok, ok" you giggled and got into position. "I can do this"
"Yes" Felix smiled proudly, "Of course you can"
You took a deep breath to gather yourself and then looked at him, "Lixie?"
"Yes, baby"
"Keep your eyes on mine, baby, ok? At all times"
He obediently nodded and licked his lips while squeezing your body closer. Everything inside of you burned as you placed your palms on his cheeks and your thumbs on his chin. He watched you closely, carefully awaiting instructions and showing absolutely no intention of stepping out of your word.
"Can you open your mouth for me, Lix? Just a little bit. A tiny bit"
He faintly nodded and parted his lips - not as much as you wished, but you worked with it, placing your pointer and middle finger on his bottom lip. "Will you suck for me?"
This time he didn't bother to nod. He had been waiting for this and wasn't about to waste any more time. One of the hands that he had until now been resting on your ass circled around your wrist, pushing your fingers deeper into his mouth. He sucked eagerly, his plump lips close to your knuckles as he watched you - pupils dilated and his face all red - he wasn't holding back. 
"So good, just like that" you whispered, caressing his bottom lip with your thumb. And for that, he only went harder, hollowed his cheeks and brushed his tongue along the pads of your fingers, sending shivers in waves up and down your spine.
Seeing him like this awoke something inside of you, and the moment he bucked his hips up into you, you knew it was time to stop. Without warning, you retracted your hand which earned you a soft, pained whimper the moment he was left with his mouth open and empty.
"More" he cried.
But you didn't listen. Instead, you brought your fingers to your lips and licked them, closing your eyes to emphasize the pleasure it gave you. "You taste so good, Felix" 
"Angel, please"
"I don't know what you want" you teased, "Tell me"
Your roles might have reversed, but unlike you, he never shied away from letting you know just how needy he was. "I need you to spit in my mouth for me, my love. Please, baby, I need it"
"You need it?"
"Yes" he whined in desperation. "Spit in my mouth like you spit on my cock before you blow me. I need to taste you, baby, please"
"Anything for you" you smiled and wrapped your fingers around the roots of his soft, blonde hair. When you yanked his head back, a moan escaped his lips but it didn't make him falter, he had no shame, he didn't care how pathetic it might look. He just craved you and thrived on the fact that you could so easily tell just how desperate he was. He loved being weak for you. 
With his head held in position, you leaned down to give him a soft, little kiss, and with your lips still pressed against his, you whispered, "Open"
He obeyed your command, while still remembering the first one. No matter how hard he was able to feel his pulse inside his balls, he kept his eyes trained on yours as you did exactly what he asked - spit in his mouth like you spit on his cock. 
"Fuck" he threw his head back as he swallowed, but his bliss was painfully interrupted when you unknowingly lowered yourself back onto his lap. "Shit, baby!" Felix hissed, "careful"
"Oh my god, sorry!" you hurried to move to the side and plop down on the couch, only to see him pull at the cotton of his sweatpants, or underwear, in a desperate attempt to relieve some of the pressure the material was causing him. 
"So I did ok?" you questioned, blinking at him as you awaited his response.
But he could only scoff. "Ok!?" Felix laughed, "Ok!? Baby, you made me suck on your fingers"
"You didn't want to?"
"Angel, you blew my mind. Fuck, I need a shower-" he breathed, getting ready to stand up before you stopped him.
"What? I can do it"
"No, I'm all gross" he wiped the beads of sweat off his forehead, "But you can join me"
"I don't want to join you in the shower, Felix. I want to suck your cock here. Now"
"Jesus Christ, baby, you'll be the death of me"
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tip-top-cloud-surfer · 4 months
Text
Never Have I Ever - Hangman
Pairing: Hangman / Civilian Contractor! Reader (Callsign: Dove)
Length: 3.2k
This work, all my works, and my entire blog are 18+ Only
Warnings: Female Reader with a Callsign, but no Physical Description or Name; Not Necessarily Healthy Decisions/Coping Mechanisms; Shy! Reader; Lots of Jokes About Innocence; Slow Burn; Coworkers to Friends to Lovers; Oblivious Idiots; Excessive Pining
Summary: Dove is tired of being stereotyped as the nice, quiet girl who's so innocent it hurts. So, who does she call to help her? Hangman.
Part 2 Part 3 Part 4
Master List
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It was always the quiet ones, they said. It was always the ones that you least expected. And Dove, the Dagger Squad’s resident civilian contractor, was just that. 
She was quiet, shy, and had taken several weeks to actually accept an invite out to the Hard Deck with the rest of the squad. But now that she was standing in front of him with a determined, hardened stare, Hangman knew that he was going to get a headache. Or maybe have a heart attack. Or both.
And here he thought that he would get to enjoy his whiskey in peace on his first night of leave. 
“You want me to do what?” he asked as he furrowed his eyebrows. 
“I want you to teach me how to be like you,” Dove replied, like it was a common request. 
“An asshole?” 
“I guess, sort of,” Dove stated softly. “I know that I have a rep of being a . . .”
“Goody two shoes?” Hangman offered with a teasing smirk, taking a sip of his drink.
“Yeah,” Dove replied a bit tensely. Straightening up, she added, “And I’d like to change that.” 
“Why?” Hangman asked, setting down his glass. 
He looked her up and down, only finding more evidence to prove his point. She wore jean shorts that were perhaps a little short—for a nunnery. Her shirt was a plain graphic tee, leaving everything except the very top of her collarbone to the imagination. And whatever make up she wore didn’t make her any less innocent or doe-eyed.
“Because no offense, Dove, but you really live up to your callsign.” 
“So do you, Hangman,” Dove replied, staring him down with a defiant expression. 
He sighed, slowly rubbing his hand down his face. Well, here comes the headache. Taking another sip of his whiskey, Jake turned to Dove, trying to read her. Sure, he had made a few comments about how she could live a little. Loosen up and enjoy herself for once. But he had a feeling that her request wasn’t just a one-night proposition.
And that quietly unnerved him.  
“You want me to help you stop being so innocent?”
“I’m not innocent,” she snapped back. 
“Alright, but you are a goody two shoes,” Hangman drawled and Dove didn’t move to argue with that point. 
“So, do you have any ideas?” Dove asked after a moment, resting her hands on the table. 
“You heard of Never Have I Ever?” 
“Of course, I have,” she scoffed.
“Alright, well, we’re going to play a game of Never Have I Ever.” 
“That’s your big plan?” Dove questioned, not looking impressed. 
“You wanted my expertise on the subject,” Hangman reminded her, getting up and leading her in the direction of the Dagger Squad.
“And how many times are we going to play that?” Dove huffed, following after him. 
“I don’t know. Ten?” 
“That’s it?” 
“One hundred then,” Hangman stated, turning to face Dove, whose eyes widened a fraction as he turned to face her. His smirk widened and he leaned in a little closer, hoping to unnerve her to back out of this ridiculous idea. “Unless you think you can’t handle it?” 
“I can handle it,” she growled with determination shining in her eyes.
“Then let’s begin.” 
~~~~~
#1 - Smoked a Cigarette
“Are you sure about this, Dove?” Bob asked, opening up his pack. 
They were standing outside the Hard Deck together. Hangman hung back a step, there to be a witness and a fireman, if necessary. Bob shared a concerned look with Hangman, who shook his head in response. Turning back to Dove, who was glaring at the floor, Bob tried to reason with her.
“You don’t have to do this.” 
“Just hand me a cigarette, Bob,” she demanded, holding out her hand. 
Bob tentatively handed over a cigarette to Dove, who took it quickly but seemed to pause when Bob took out his lighter. Bob lit up his own cigarette and took a drag before handing the lighter over to Dove. She took it firmly but seemed to struggle to light a flame. And Hangman could only watch her struggle to light her cigarette so many times before he finally stepped in. Taking the lighter from her, he lit it with a flick of his thumb before holding it out to Dove. 
“Don’t hurt yourself,” Hangman told her. “Just copy Bob.” 
Dove held the cigarette over the flame and slowly brought her lips to the other end of it. She took a drag like Bob did, but unlike Bob, she immediately started coughing. Hangman sighed and took the cigarette from her hand as she continued to cough. 
“You alright?” Hangman asked her, putting out the cigarette. Pulling out a cup of water, he placed it down in front of Dove.
“How are your lungs still functioning?” Dove coughed out, directing her question at Bob, who shrugged in response. “Jesus Christ!”
“Well, one down, ninety-nine left to go,” Hangman stated calmly, typing away at his phone. “What’s next?” 
~~~~~
# 2 - Done a Shot of Tequila
“You’ve never actually done a shot of tequila? You’ve spent the last five years of your life in the Southwest,” Hangman pointed out, causing Dove to give him a sharp look.
“She’s never actually finished a shot of tequila,” Bob explained, causing Dove to sigh. 
“I don’t like tequila, alright?” she mumbled quietly.
“Then why are you drinking it?” Hangman asked her as Penny placed a shot glass down. Leaning forward a bit more, he added, “Don’t do this stuff if you don’t actually want to do it.” 
“I do want to do it,” Dove stated firmly.
“You just said—” 
“—I want to do this.” 
Dove and Hangman had a bit of a staring contest before he sighed and broke it off. Penny filled up the shot glass and placed a saltshaker on the bar before handing Dove a wedge of lime. She offered Dove a small smile before shooting Hangman and Bob warning looks to watch her before heading off to serve more customers. 
“You don’t have to do this,” Hangman reminded Dove gently.
“I need to,” she replied quietly.
Dove stared down at the shot for a moment, resting her hands on the bartop. She looked like she was going to walk away for a moment until she suddenly grabbed the shot glass and knocked it back. Wincing and gagging, Dove shoved the lime into her mouth, sucking on the tart wedge dramatically. Jake leaned over the bar and grabbed a few more lime wedges, which Dove took gratefully. 
“Alright, what else can we do here tonight?” 
~~~~~
# 3 - Stolen Toilet Paper
Dove stepped out of the womens’ bathroom and held up a roll of toilet paper, shooting Hangman an annoyed look as he gave her a thumbs up in return. 
“This is the best that you could come up with? Really?”
“I’m working on it. Trust the process.” 
Dove sighed and handed him the roll of toilet paper before walking off, shaking her head. Hangman set the toilet paper down before walking after her.
“We need some help,” Dove stated, heading towards the Daggers. 
~~~~~
# 4 - Gone Commando
“How do you feel?” Phoenix asked as Dove stepped out of the womens’ room.
“Like I should have worn a different pair of shorts for tonight,” Dove replied, awkwardly pulling at her jean shorts. 
“Just do a lap and put them back on,” Hangman suggested, causing Dove to nod. 
She walked off to do a lap of the bar, allowing Phoenix to turn to Hangman with slightly narrowed eyes. Hangman promptly ignored her gaze, watching Dove as she walked around, making sure that no one messed with her. There was no way that Dove would actually be able to talk her way out of most situations in her current state.
“What’s going on with her?” Phoenix asked quietly.
“I don’t know what’s going on with her.”
“So, why are you doing this then?”
“She asked me to help her and because I’m a gentleman, Phoenix, I decided to help her,” Hangman replied, shoving his hands into his pockets. 
“If you’re planning on humiliating her later—” 
“—And why would I do that?” Hangman asked Phoenix defensively, causing Phoenix to purse her lips together. 
“You made fun of Bob in the beginning. And they’re pretty similar. Except Dove doesn’t hold her own as well as Bob does in situations like this.” Phoenix turned forward again as Dove began to walk back over. “I just want to make sure that she doesn’t get hurt. She’s obviously going through something.”
Hangman didn't respond to Phoenix and simply stared ahead until Dove walked back over.
“I’m never doing that again,” Dove sighed, heading straight to the bathroom. 
“Did you want to do the same with your bra just to knock another one off the list?” Jake suggested, but Dove shook her head. 
“No, I can’t.”
“Oh?”
“I’ve done that before. Plenty of times,” Dove explained, opening the door to the bathroom. 
“Oh.”
Phoenix glanced up at Hangman, who did not meet her gaze once again. 
~~~~~
# 5 - Eaten Food Off of Someone Else
“Don’t look at me while I do this,” Dove pleaded with Hangman, who stared up at the night sky. 
“It’s just a French fry, Dove. And you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.”
“No, you’re right,” she sighed. “It’s just a French fry.”
Hangman kept his eyes focused on the stars. Dove leaned down and took the French fry that he placed on his bare stomach between her teeth. She seemed to struggle to pick it up without actually touching him and Hangman could see her squirming a bit before she finally grabbed it properly. Standing up, she chewed the fry as Jake sat up. 
“You want to switch?”
~~~~~
# 6 - Had Someone Else Eat Food Off of You
Dove struggled to swallow her squeak when Jake swooped his head down and ate the French fry that she placed on her stomach without hesitation. Casually pulling out his phone as he chewed the French fry, Jake typed the latest challenge onto the list. Dove slowly sat up, pulling her shirt back down bashfully.
“You’ve done that before then?” she asked quietly, standing up from the couch. 
“Yeah, a few times,” Hangman dismissed with a shrug of his shoulders. “What’s next?”
~~~~~
# 7 - Touched the Bar Floor with Your Bare Foot
Dove balanced herself with a hand on the table and slowly placed her foot down on the bar floor, cringing as she felt the sticky surface. Even most of the other Daggers were cringing as she held it there for a moment. 
“That was so gross,” Dove huffed, pulling her foot back up. Leaning on the table, she shot the man who came up with that challenge a glare. “You’re dead to me, Fanboy.”
“My actual suggestion was lick it so—”
“—You are disgusting,” Payback cut off his wizzo. 
“Come on, the beach shower isn't too far from here,” Hangman offered, holding out his hand, and helping Dove hop on one leg out the side door. 
~~~~~
# 8 - Flashed Someone
Phoenix and Dove returned to the Dagger table from the bathroom. 
“I can confirm that she does, in fact, have breasts,” Phoenix stated calmly, causing Dove to grow bashful and avoid eye contact with the other Daggers. 
~~~~~
# 9 -  Shotgunned a Beer
“Alright, just hold it like that for now,” Jake instructed Dove as he handed the beer can to her. “Now, when you’re ready, you’re going to turn it vertically and drink from the hole that I just made and quickly open the top while you do that.”
“Okay,” Dove agreed, running through the steps in her head. “Do I just go then?”
“Here, I’ll show you,” Rooster offered, stepping onto the sand beside Dove. 
Dove watched Rooster with an edge of apprehension as he easily shotgunned his beer, growing only more nervous. It was like he was drinking water. And Dove wasn’t convinced that she would even finish half of it. She stared down at her own beer for a moment before glancing up at Hangman with a bit of a tentative look. 
“Bradshaw was just showing off,” Hangman scoffed, shooting Rooster a look before turning back to Dove. “Don’t worry about it. Just do what you can.”
Dove nodded and slowly brought her mouth to the beer can before tilting it on its side. She struggled to open it while drinking for a moment, but eventually managed it. Dove took a few gulps before she quickly pulled the can away from her mouth, letting the remaining beer pour out onto the sand. Jake took the beer can from her as she wiped her mouth and neck. 
“You alright?” Jake asked her. 
“Yeah. It’s a good thing that I don’t like this shirt though,” she sighed, pulling at the fabric. “And that it’s not seethrough right now.” 
“Yeah,” Jake agreed, trailing off quietly. 
~~~~~
# 10 - Played Darts
“Alright, now this isn’t like throwing a baseball. There’s no big wind up. It’s just a flick,” Hangman coached Dove, who listened closely. “And I won’t tell you how to aim too much because I’m sure that you’re already calculating gravity and air resistance and all of that in your head. So, just try it out.”
Hangman handed her three darts and motioned for her to take a throw. Dove stepped up to the line and prepared to make her first throw when two men walked over. 
“Can you teach the Girl Scout how to throw later? We’d like to play,” one of them stated gruffly, causing Dove to lower her hand slowly. 
“You can wait or go to a different bar,” Hangman retorted back. “We were here first.”
“She obviously doesn’t even know how to throw. We want to play an actual game.”
“Congratulations,” Jake replied sarcastically. “We were still here first.” 
Dove was about to tell Jake to just drop it and let the two men play to keep the peace, but he was prepared to dig his heels in. 
“How about the man who scores the highest on one throw gets to stay?” the man suggested with a smirk. 
“Fine by me.”
Handing over a dart, Hangman tilted his chin up with a challenging expression in his eye. The man took his shot first and Dove watched the dart land on the board. It wasn't in the center, but it must have been a decent shot because the man turned to his friend with a smirk before turning back to Jake. 
Hangman glared at the man and stepped up a little bit before throwing the dart without looking. Dove couldn’t help the sudden and extremely warm feeling that came over her when she saw it land dead center. Holding her darts to her chest, she glanced over to see the men staring a bit dumbfounded at the board. 
“Now, move along,” Jake warned them. 
After they walked off with their tails between their legs, Jake collected his two darts. 
“Go ahead,” he replied, as if nothing happened. 
Dove nodded and turned to the board again. A bit unfocused, she tossed the first dart and winced when it bounced off the wood with an awkward clack. 
“Don’t tell Penny about that.”
“Just relax. And loosen your stance some more.”
Dove let out some of the tension in her body and focused on the dart board. Lining up her shot, Dove ran through some quick calculations in her head before she tossed her second dart. It landed on the board and Jake stepped forward, nodding in approval. 
“Not bad at all. But you need to turn more.”
Dove held her breath a bit as Jake quickly and methodically moved her hips and shoulders into place. She looked down at her feet as he moved her left foot back with his own, her grip on her dart tightening just a bit more. 
“Alright, now try again.”
The whack of the dart hitting the wall caused Dove to grow a bit embarrassed for a moment. But she let out a breath to steady herself and lined up another shot. Taking a moment to center herself, she tossed the dart and smiled when it landed on the board. 
“Land one more and you’re done,” Jake stated, handing her another dart. 
Licking her lips, Dove lined up her last shot and threw it, landing on the board once again. She held up her hands victoriously and laughed before turning to Jake, who offered her a kind smile in return.
“Thank you,” she whispered out, giving him a quick hug. 
“Any time.”
Jake released her from the hug and Dove moved to collect the darts to put them away. Clearing his throat, he looked at the floor before turning back to her as she walked back over. 
~~~~~
# 11 - Not Tipped
“I feel bad about this,” Dove sighed, signing the receipt. 
“It’s three dollars. I think that Penny will forgive you this one time,” Jake assured her. 
“I’ll forgive you,” Penny stated, walking over to them. “Especially since you’re tutoring Amelia in math. And you refuse to take a normal rate for it.”
Dove nodded with a small smile and passed the receipt over to Penny with an apologetic expression. Jake got called over by Coyote for something, leaving Penny and Dove alone for a few moments. 
“You sure that you’re alright, Dove?” Penny asked her softly. 
“I’m fine, Penny.”
“You sure? You’re a nice girl. And there’s nothing wrong with being a nice person. I don’t have to throw people like you out of the bar, for one thing.”
“People take advantage of nice people,” Dove replied quietly, putting her card away. 
“Just be careful, alright?”
“I will be.”
~~~~~
# 12 - Danced on a Table
Dove took Jake’s hand and stepped up onto the table. It was after hours at the Hard Deck and Penny had allowed her to dance up on the table for a little bit before they all headed home. Dove turned to face the Dagger Squad and grew a bit shy with all of them staring at her. Looking around like she didn’t know what to do, Dove nervously played with her shirt. 
“Now what?”
“Hold on a second,” Rooster replied, jogging over to the piano. 
He played a familiar tune and Dove started to do an awkward dance for a few seconds. But when people started clapping, she folded and quickly moved to hop off the table. Jake offered her a hand as she stepped down onto a chair. 
“Alright, safe travels home everyone,” Penny called out, officially ending the night. 
“We’ll pick up again tomorrow?” Dove suggested to Jake, sliding on her shoes. 
“Yeah, just text me when you’re ready.”
“Thanks for doing this again,” she replied, getting to her feet.
“Don’t mention it.”
She nodded and smiled at him before turning to head out with Phoenix and Bob. Jake watched her go for a moment before moving to head home himself.
Part 2 Part 3 Part 4
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jinnie-ret · 1 month
Text
cigarette duet
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poly!stray kids x ninth member!reader
genre: angst, fluff at the end
content warnings: smoking, mentions of rehab, mentions of recovery
word count: 3k
summary: you get hounded by your boyfriends after they catch you smoking. how will they react when you disappear and go off the radar?
requested: @ihrtlix
It has been a while since I've written! I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get around to the requests for this event but I'm getting back into the swing of things! Hope you enjoy! Please don't take offense to any opinions presented in this imagine. Enjoy! And if you want to be tagged in anything I write please lemme know! <3
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MAIN MASTERLIST
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Perhaps you had smoked one too many cigarettes last night. Waking up the next morning after battling your stresses with the addictive feed of nicotine, your throat felt dry, hoarse, scratchy even.
"Baby, are you sure you're not sick?" Felix fussed, placing his hand delicately on your forehead to gain an idea of your temperature. "I mean, you don't feel hot, but maybe you're coming down with something?"
"I'm fine, love, just need some water," you kiss his hand that was pulling away from your face, offering a reassuring smile after clearing your throat.
And in your mind, that was enough. You didn't notice the little things that your boyfriends did however.
"Binnie, what are you doing? You look like a perv haha," Hyunjin giggled at the sight of Changbin rummaging through the laundry basket and sniffing your hoodie.
"Ssshhh, keep it down. And plus, it's not being pervy, people in relationships do it all the time. It's comforting smelling each other's clothing," Changbin righteously pointed out to his boyfriend, puffing his chest before adding, "well, normally it is..." he sighed.
"Woah that's mean, you can't say our girlfriend smells," Hyunjin pushed Changbin's shoulder, laughing again but with wide eyes this time round.
"No, no, you've got the wrong idea anyways. I think... I think Y/N's been smoking. I can smell it on her hoodie," Changbin sighed, tossing the white hoodie of yours back into the washing basket that was full to the brim. He was about to continue his spiel of conspiracies until he jumped when your arms wrapped around behind him.
"Aw, babe, are you doing the washing? Thank god for that, I was worried it would never get done," you squeezed him tightly once more before kissing him on the cheek and continuing your venture into the kitchen, Felix trailing behind you.
"I think she's getting sick, I'm gonna see if we have any meds in the cupboard, or some throat sweets at least," Felix pouted as he walked past his two boyfriends, Hyunjin ruffling his hair on the way.
Changbin threw a meaningful look at Hyunjin, alarms going off in his head because it only added more fuel to the blazing fire of thoughts in his head.
"Look, we don't know that she is smoking for sure. Maybe she's just been around some friends that are?" Hyunjin whispers hurriedly, yet this caught Seungmin's attention, and his ears too.
"Huh? What are you talking about?" Seungmin casually stood between the two, grabbing laundry detergent and capsules from the cupboard to act natural yet because practical at the same time.
"I'll explain later, to all of you. I'm just a bit concerned," Changbin sighed, rubbing his hand across his face before actually making a start on the chore at hand.
It was an escape for you, much like it was for other people who smoked cigarettes. And plus, you hadn't been doing it for long. You thought what could the harm be when you didn't do it a lot? Plus, it was handy that none of your boyfriends batted an eyelid in the studio when you said you wanted to go outside for some air. In fact, it gave the opportunity for Changbin to lay out his thoughts to the rest of your boyfriends who hadn't yet heard his observations.
"Y/N... I don't think she'd do that, I can't picture it," Jeongin shook his head, shaking his hands in confusion because the picture being painted in front of them seemed very unlikely and it wasn't a nice one to think of.
"And she knows it's too risky. First of all we're idols. I hate to say it but we have to think about that first in situations like these. Even when we're drinking we've got to be careful. If you're right about this, Binnie, then..." Chan groaned, leaning back into his seat with a huff.
"But she did just go out 'for some air'," Han added on, brows furrowed as he thought what Changbin was saying was quite plausible.
"Ok. We'll go check then," Minho shrugged as he stood.
"What?" Felix too stood up.
"We can't sit here and keep worrying. Let's go check and see for ourselves. If we're wrong... And I hope we are... Then it's fine," Minho grabbed his phone and shoved it into his pocket, scanning around the room for his boyfriends' reactions.
"And if we're not wrong, then what?" Hyunjin voiced his concerns.
"Let's just hope we're not," Chan was first to walk out the door, the rest of Stray Kids following along after him like ducklings and their mother. Apart from this time it wasn't the cute, adorable scene you'd hope for, especially because they could smell the smoke and see your lax figure as soon as they rounded the corner to the back of the building.
"No. Y/N you've got to be kidding me!" Chan snatched the cigarette out of your hand and immediately stomped it out.
"Chan I-" you fumbled on your words, eyes wide as you had all eight of your lovers stood in front of you. And the way they looked at you made you stomach twist into knots you were sure you'd never felt.
Disappointment. Anger. Concern. Indifference.
"Let's talk about this inside," Changbin wrapped an arm around your shoulder as he spoke quietly to you.
Your heart was racing faster. They were going to think the worst. But you had a way out of this. It wasn't even that bad. Sure, over the past month maybe you'd have been spending more money on packs of cigarettes, yet on the inside you felt as if there were worse things you could be doing to yourself.
"Sit," Minho bluntly said, face unreadable, tone void of emotion.
And so you did.
"We'll just have a conversation about this, nice and calm, ok?" Felix nudged Chan in particular with his leg.
It seemed however that it wasn't a conversation, but more of an intervention. A heated one, at that.
"I can't be nice and calm, Lix! Our girlfriend is destroying her body, and for what?" Chan's voice rose ever so slightly, hands squeezing the arms of the chair he was tensely sat in.
"It's just a cigarette," you feebly replied. That backbone of yours was slowly wearing away the more and more anger you felt radiating off of your partners.
"Don't be ridiculous," Seungmin scoffed, "think of the damage it's doing. Think about your career."
"It's more than just the odd cigarette, right?" Changbin prodded, wanting answers to the millions of questions he had. After all, he was the first one to notice how you gradually stopped voicing your concerns to him but still sometimes had the habits that showed your anxiety.
"Well, yes, but-" you began but were cut off.
"No buts. That's... It's, you're hurting yourself, hurting your lungs. Why are you doing this, baby?" Jeongin took your hand in his, concern not the only thing glistening in his eyes, which broke your heart.
"It's just a nice distraction, that's all. It won't go on forever, I'll just stop when I want to," you shrug your shoulders, squeezing his hand to show you meant what you said.
"It's not that easy. Nicotine. It's addictive. You think you can just stop like that?" Hyunjin frowned, shaking his head.
"I know I can," you firmly said, urging them with your voice to trust you.
"I don't know what planet you're living on," Chan shook his head.
"Channie..." Felix bit his lip, feeling torn. On one hand he didn't want your boyfriend to be so tough with you, but he also disagreed with the choices you made, the ones you were making.
"No I'm sorry but Y/N, babe, you've made one of the stupidest choices you could make! Seungminnie is right, Jeongin too. It's damaging for your body, let alone your career. You keep this up, you're not going to be able to sing as well as before. And then it'll get to the point where you can't breathe as well anymore," Chan ranted, fiddling with the bracelets adorning his wrist as he didn't take his eyes away from yours, not once.
"I just told you it's not going to go that far!" your face contorted to one of disbelief.
"That's out of your control," Minho sternly redirected your attention to him.
"Wow. It's like you don't even trust me. I'm not some kid. I can make my own decisions. So what if I'm doing this for a little bit of stress relief? For a bit of fun. It helps me," your voice almost turns to pleading, wanting them to hear you out, hear your reasoning.
"It hurts you, baby. And when it hurts you, it hurts us as well," Han bit his lip after shakily speaking up. He didn't like this situation, not one bit.
"I'm not doing it to hurt you. I'd never do that," your voice wobbled, throat feeling as if it was closing up from the sob that was lodged down there.
"Too late. I mean just look," Chan emptied your handbag, empty packets of cigarettes and some not, falling out onto the floor of the studio.
"Y/N, that's a lot," Hyunjin gasped, clutching a hand on his chest.
"It's not. It's not that bad..." you denied as you knelt on the floor and tidied up the mess.
"You're in complete denial," Seungmin rolled his eyes.
"I'm not! I'm well aware of my actions thank you very much!" you shouted suddenly, causing everyone to freeze at the volume you had just reached.
The guilt set in. It was never meant to go this far. It was just meant to be for stress relief. Something to distract you from the aches and pains, physical and mental. It wasn't long until you'd be performing a special fanmeeting and relearning old choreographies and a cover had you feeling like you were being worked down to the bone. Even iconic dances like God's Menu were hard to remember, and you felt like you had no chance. No choice. It was like it fell into your lap so easily.
The first time you had stood outside to catch some air, it was for that genuine reason. And you weren't alone. You didn't know if the person worked at your company, if you knew them, whatever. But their hand offering you something that could bring you temporary bliss was a solution you were grateful for. Only now, you were seeing that it was short term.
"You need help. Seriously..." Chan spat, grabbing his backpack and storming out of the studio.
"Find a way to end this, Y/Nnie," Felix mumbled, stroking your hair gently before following Chan out with a rush.
"You're all just going to go?" your voice cracked. Were they leaving you now?
"We just need some time," Changbin sighed. And then he was gone too.
"You're leaving me?" you sniffled, standing up to face your boyfriends that were still in the room.
"Not like that, baby. We're just giving you time to think about how you can stop this, ok?" Han stroked your face as he made sure you knew this wasn't the end. And then he left too, Minho, Hyunjin, Seungmin and Jeongin leaving too.
All alone. Perhaps it was what you deserved. You relied on the cigarettes more than your boyfriends. And they were all you had left for the moment. That was when it sank in. You had to make a change. You had to stop this habit form taking over your life, from pushing away the people you love most, and from taking your life away.
•••
"She's sorting herself out at least... that's got to be commendable."
"I guess so. Let's just hope it doesn't get out that a JYP idol is at rehab for smoking."
"It won't. And she's doing well from what I've heard..."
This was the only time Han was grateful for the staff gossiping. Immediately, he felt calmer. Considering the boys had spent the last few days blowing up your phone and worrying where you went, it was an oddly relieving feeling hearing you were at rehab. They had tried asking JYP himself, asking the manager of the company where you were but all they said was that you were safe.
"I know where she is!" Han bursted through the apartment door, slamming it shut behind him as he panted out of breath.
"Woah, woah, ok, deep breaths, let's sit down," Chan, with the darkest circles around his eyes yet, gently sat Han down on the sofa. He felt awful. He thought he had driven you away from them all. From the group. From the relationship. And that had been eating him up inside. It was a wonder he could act so calm with the news of you going into rehab.
"Rehab? For smoking? I didn't even know that was a thing," Seungmin hummed in thought, his arms crossed.
"I didn't either, but I overheard the staff. They say she's doing well. It's a good thing, right?" Han's eyes stared through the souls of everyone gathered in the lounge, begging for some sort of confirmation that things would get better.
"I mean, at least we're a bit more in the know then our own fans about why our girlfriend is on hiatus," Changbin brushed his fluffy, dark hair out of his eye.
"Can't we go and see her?" Felix wondered, lifting his head up from where it rested on Minho's shoulder.
"We shouldn't," Minho quietly sighed.
"Why not?" Jeongin quickly turned to him, mouth parted in shock that he didn't want to see Y/N.
"No, he's right. She's gone there for a reason. To get better. It's what we all said to her, isn't it? We'll see her soon. And when we do... It'll all be better," Chan helped everyone see sense. He was right. You had listened to them. You went and got help and were solving the problem. If they suddenly ambushed you and got in the way of that... You'd be back to square one.
•••
Today was the day, you were finally going back to the boys. You spent a good 3 weeks at rehab, and had been advised on some good coping mechanisms to take your mind off of smoking and how to create some healthier habits. You had shown good progress and it was deemed acceptable for you to leave and spend time back with your loved ones. And you couldn't lie, you were incredibly nervous. You had dropped a text without reading the spam that littered the groupchat, notifying your boyfriends what time you'd be returning, but after that you once again did not read anything else that was sent.
"Oh my baby, I've missed you so much," Han was the first one at the door, pressing kisses all over your face as he took you into his arms, holding you lightly.
"I've missed you too," you cried immediately, despite the weight off your shoulders.
"You're good now, right, darling?" Seungmin softly tugged you away from Han, both of his hands cupping your face whilst his thumbs wiped away your tears.
"I'm better," you nod through tears, Seungmin pressing a kiss to your head and giving space for your other boyfriends to soothe you and reunite with you. It had only been three weeks, yes, but 21 days had never felt so long.
"I'm proud of you, come here," Changbin scooped you into his arms and lifted you slightly, making you giggle before your feet touched the ground once more.
"Thank you... I'm sorry. I didn't realise what I had done... How far it went, you know?" you began, looking down at the floor as Hyunjin came and wrapped his arms around you from behind, his long arms securing you to him.
"We're just happy to see you here, honey, healthier," he whispered into your ear soothingly.
"And please talk to us in future. We had time to think after that, moment, and we know you were doing it as an escape. But we're here for you," Jeongin pecked you on the lips, your heads pressed against each other for a moment before he too moved away.
"Always, we're always here," Felix reiterated what Jeongin preached, and kisses you as well, noses rubbing against each other as he moved away, a cute expression on his face.
"Come here," Minho opened his arms, and you reluctantly left Hyunjin's arms only to be happy again in the warmth of your other boyfriend's embrace.
"Thank you for waiting, all of you," you swayed with him in his hug, until you pulled away and it was only Chan left.
He stood a few metres away, back to you, shoulders shaking ever so slightly.
"Channie... babe," you sighed, tugging his hand to turn him and face you. His words had hurt you the most but it was also a huge wake up call. "Please, look at me, I'm not mad. I'm so grateful."
"I was too harsh with you," he bit his lip, hard, not wanting to let any tears escape.
"I needed it. Look at me now, I'm here, I'm better, and I've got habits I can stick to instead. Ones that won't hurt me. And they won't hurt you guys either," you looked up at him, one hand running through the hair at the nape of his neck and the other cupping his face.
"I'm so glad you're back... We were worried... Lost without you," Chan admitted, staring up at the ceiling before kissing you deeply, expressing all the emotions he had held back whilst you were gone.
"It's all good now. Plus, you should all be proud of me-"
"We are proud of you, baby," Jeongin cut you off stroking your hair.
"Well, be even prouder because I know how to bake an amazing carrot cake if I say so myself," you laughed, sharing a new skill that had occupied your stress and been taught whilst you were away.
"You can bake with me now! Oh my gosh! It's a miracle!" Felix cheered, tugging you into the kitchen as the other boys chuckled from behind you both.
"I didn't think you meant this very second!"
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
tagged: @skz-streamer @kiraisastay @hannahhbahng @kpopmenace143 @sakufilms @kailee08 @arloo00 @dunno-wut-to-do @splat00z @cheesemonky @his-angell @turtledove824 @2minstan @royal-shinigami @yangbbokari @skzoologist @crabrangoongirl25 @atinyniki @writingforstraykids @minholing @lilmisssona @astraysimp @lixie-phoria
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starberryes · 2 years
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don't you (forget about me) | steve harrington x reader
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“Oh, great, she’s here,” Steve says, stepping away from the door.  "First of all, Harrington," You scoff, glaring at that mop of hair with all the rage you can muster. "I have a name. Second of all, we are talking here—” Steve rolls his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, whatever—" "You did not just roll your eyes at me—” Dustin sighs. "Here they go." (or: You've always thought Steve Harrington was a weirdo. When you find out you might be in terrible danger, he might be just what you need.)
pairing: steve harrington x fem!henderson!reader (she/her pronouns used), lots of henderson siblings bonding <3
words: 13.9k
a/n: gif by @dailysteveharrington. thank you all for being patient and i hope you all like it<3 i loved this season and i love steve so i hope you enjoy this lil enemies to lovers fic. this fic is a one shot, but let me know if you'd like a sequel once vol 2 is out bc its a bit of an open, ambiguous ending ;) also some fun facts before this fic starts: dustin's dad appears at will's funeral in s1 and there are several theories about him-- officially, he and dustin's mother are divorced in canon. i'll explore that in this fic. ST4 SPOILERS. this is set in season 4 ep 3 "the monster and the superhero" and follows vol 1 canon also sorry if this doesnt follow canon pretty well i mostly did it from memory cause the wiki still isnt fully updated 💀
disclaimer: this fic discusses the topic of an absent parent, please proceed with caution if this is hurtful to you. also warning for canon typical violence and cursing. english is not my first language so please let me know if there are any mistakes.
📼 NOW PLAYING: Don't You (Forget About Me) by Simple Mind
Your mother had always been slightly overbearing and fearful, but the murder of Chrissy Cunnigham you think might actually kill her. Or at least will force her to lock you in your bedroom and flush the key down the toilet.
“You can’t go anywhere without telling me,” your mother tells you over breakfast, worriedly overcooking her bacon. “You hear me? I don’t want you running around town without me knowing. Or better yet, don’t go anywhere at all!”
You glare at Dustin’s chair, where your brother is munching on toast and eggs, hoping your mother takes the hint. She does, and so she shakes her head and says, “Dustin’s different.”
“You’re kidding me, right?”
“Maybe this killer has a thing for pretty girls,” your mother shakes her head, shivering. “Chrissy Cunningham was such a nice and pretty girl, right your age.”
“You don’t know what that killer was thinking!” You groan. “Why can Dustin leave but I can’t?!”
“Dustin’s not an eighteen year old girl with an easily breakable neck.”
“He’s easier to man-handle!”
Dustin frowns, finally looking up from his breakfast. “I’m not!”
”Besides, do you even know where he was last night?” You ignore your brother’s protests, choosing to point at him as he scoffs in offense. “I bet you don’t, because he’s always sneaking out!”
“I’m not always sneaking out!”
“I try my best with you, Dusty,” she sighs, finally sitting down. “But your sister is right, you’re difficult to keep track of. You’re always running around, like those little legs have minds of their own.” She points the spoon she was using for her coffee at your face. “Don’t you throw that in my face, (Y/N).”
“Mom, you’re right,” you nod, sipping your orange juice, trying to appeal to her soft spot. “He is difficult to keep track off, and there’s a dangerous killer on the loose. How about I keep track of him? Make sure he’s not getting into any trouble, hm? I’ll make sure we’re always safe, together.”
Of course, you were planning on bolting as soon as you were out of your mom’s sight. You mom’s cat Tews meows somewhere across the room, as if he knows not to trust you. That damned furball.
“What the fuck? No!”
“Dusty! Language.”
“Mom,” Dustin says, exasperated. “I don’t need a babysitter. Much less a babysitter that’s also my annoying older sister.”
“No, you have Steve Harrington for that,” you mutter under your breath, and Dustin manages to kick you under the table. You glare at your little brother, then turn to address your mom once again. “I promise we’ll stay together. I know— no, I understand that it’s scary out there right now, but I can take care of myself. And Dustin. You have to trust me.”
“I trust you. It’s the murderer I don’t trust.”
“Mom—”
“Let me finish,” she stares pointedly at you, and you promptly shut up. “I don’t want you two sneaking out. But, it’ll make me feel better if the both of you are together.”
Dustin covers his face with his hands. “Shit.”
“Yes!” You squeal. You stick out your tongue at him, and he rolls his eyes. “Guess you’re stuck with me, Dusty.”
“Screw you.”
“Dusty, it’ll be fun. (Y/N), don’t taunt your little brother,” your mom scolds both of you into silence. “It’ll be like old times, won’t it? Aw, you two used to be thick as thieves back then.”
Dustin sighs, picking at his toast absent-mindedly. “Was there a murderer on the loose back then too?”
📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼
After breakfast, you give Dustin a ride until you arrive in a neighborhood that is most definitely not Lucas Sinclair’s like he told you it would be. You turn to stare at your brother before you unlock the car’s door, confused.
“Where are we?”
Dustin looks at your shoes. “I told you. Lucas’s.”
“Okay, you might lie to me whenever you want, just not to my actual face, Dustin.” You roll your eyes, and he mirrors you. “Seriously, why did you make me come all the way down here?”
“Why do you care?”
“I know we’re doing this to get mom off our backs, but there is actually a killer on the loose,” you say. “So, excuse me if I’m also a little wary about dropping you off at unknown locations, or whatever.”
“Fine,” Dustin sighs. “I’m here to see Max and Steve.”
“Steve?”
“Harrington.”
You blink at him. “Fucking Steve Harrington?”
“See?” Dustin rolls his eyes again. “This is why I didn’t tell you! You are extremely uncool about Steve, you know.”
“I’m not!” You try not to dwell about how defensive you sound even to yourself. “I’m extremely cool about him. I’m extremely cool about the fact you hang out with that douchebag with stupid hair.”
“He’s not a douchebag! I don’t get why you hate him so much.”
Because you remember him and his friends making fun of you all throughout High School, his sneering and stupid stares. Like your brother, you’d never fit in— you never liked going to parties or drinking and you never made an effort to be liked by him and his group of popular dorks, instead you spent most of your days in the library, reading, hiding from Steve and his friends. Whatever honorable things Dustin saw in Steve Harrington you think he might have imagined them.
Now, in your last year of High School and with Steve becoming a social pariah, you don’t have to hide the fact that you still dislike Steve as much as you did back when he was still King Steve. Steve, for however much Dustin insists that he’s changed, upon first meeting you had tried to sweet talk you as if he didn’t know who you were. And you had barely kept it together enough to tell him to fuck off. Ever since then, you and Steve Harrington had hated each other’s guts. Your mutual dislike of each other is not lost on Dustin, who continues to mostly ignore it and tiptoe around it as best as he can.
“He’s not not a douchebag,” You murmur. “Why is he hanging out with two fourteen year olds during spring break? Isn’t the barf bag, like, supposed to be in college, going to frat parties, having a life of his own?”
Dustin doesn’t appreciate the way you talk about him, clearly, but he still replies, albeit unhappily. “He’s helping me with something.”
“With what?”
Before Dustin can respond, someone knocks on Dustin’s window. You jump, surprised, but it’s just Steve and Dustin’s friend redhead Max, looking bored and impatient. You groan and reach over Dustin’s seat to roll the window down.
“Do you mind?” You say to Steve. “We’re talking.”
“Oh, great, she’s here,” Steve says, stepping away from the door. 
"First of all, Harrington," You scoff, glaring at that mop of hair with all the rage you can muster. You ignore Dustin’s groan. "I have a name. Second of all, we are talking here—”
Steve rolls his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, whatever—"
"You did not just roll your eyes at me—”
Dustin sighs. "Here they go."
“I did not roll my eyes—”
“You absolutely did!”
“There was something in my eyes.”
“That something was lies!”
“Jesus fuck,” Steve finally throws his arms up in exasperation and turns to your brother, ignoring your insults. “You done talking to your lovely sister there, Henderson? We got a counselor to see.”
“What?” You frown at Dustin, irritation immediately melting into concern. “What’s he talking about?”
“Steve, shut your mouth,” Dustin glares at Steve, who shrugs and finally steps away from the car. “Nothing, (Y/N), seriously. See you later?”
“No.” You shake your head. “What does he mean a counselor? Are you seeing Ms Kelly?”
“Nothing’s wrong, I promise. It’s—” he looks like he’s scrambling to think of an excuse, then his eyes land on Max. Something flashes across her face and she speaks next.
“It’s for me.” she says, “Chrissy died in my neighborhood.”
“She’s kind of freaking out,” Dustin says, and when you finally turn to look at Max you realize how tense she is, her shoulders square, with her lips forming a straight line.
“Oh. That sucks. Hey, Max.”
“Hey,” she greets, awkwardly. It’s part of her charm, you think.
“See?” Dustin asks. “Can I go now?”
You nod, a little shaken up for some reason. Maybe Chrissy’s murder still made you feel slightly ill, and the mention of it made you feel even worse. You couldn’t imagine what Max might be going through. It didn’t help that they had found another body this morning, either. 
“Ye— yeah. Sorry. I hope everything’s alright, Max.”
“Yeah,” she nods.
Dustin nods to the door. “Can you unlock the car, then?”
You wordlessly comply, and as your little brother steps out of your mom’s blue Ford Cortina, you talk to Max once again. “Ms Kelly is great help. I’m sure she’ll make you feel better. She really helped me this year, you know, she’s a great listener.”
“Yeah, I know,” Max says. “I’ve been thinking about seeing her for a while, a—actually. I’ve heard she’s well… you know… fine, or whatever.”
“Hey, there’s no shame in that,” you shrug. “Lots of people go to see Ms Kelly… Actually, now that you mention it, Fred Benson, the guy they found this morning, was seeing Ms Kelly too. And Chrissy Cunningham.”
Dustin pauses before closing the car door. “What do you mean?”
You blink, slightly confused as to why you’d even bring it up. “I’ve seen them in Ms Kelly’s office before. I’m not sure why I’m even mentioning it, sorry.”
“No, no, (Y/N), that’s…” Dustin says, then doesn’t finish. “You’ve been seeing Ms Kelly too?”
“Yeah,” you nod, a little ashamed. You think about telling Dustin about everything that’s been going on, the nightmares, the guilt— but then you glance at his friends looking expectantly at him and cower. So you don’t continue.
It’s Steve who breaks the silence. “Henderson, chop chop, let’s go.”
“I’ll see you at home?” Dustin says, a little softer.
“Yeah, yeah. I was gonna go to Dinah’s near Ave Park, but do you think you’ll need a ride later?”
“Steve’s got his car,” he says. “Don’t wait up, okay?”
You nod, watching him leave.
📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼
It’s around eight PM, and Dinah is painting her toenails as you skim through one of her books, the soft hum of the TV in the background, entering through the open bedroom door. Her parents are watching the news, the news anchors are urging people to stay home and to lock their doors to be safe of this new serial killer.
Dinah’s house is your usual hangout spot beside your own. You don’t have many other friends, and there’s only so many times you can force Dustin to watch The Breakfast Club before he’s fighting you for the remote.
“It was all Matty could talk about,” Dinah continues to rant. “I can’t stand this murder talk any longer! I can only hear about Chrissy Cunningham’s missing eyeballs so many times, (Y/N), it’s way too fucking gruesome, but it’s all everyone in this town seems to care about.”
“It’s a pretty pressing issue,” when Dinah glares, you shrug. “I’m just saying! You know I agree with you. I don’t want to hear about it anymore.”
“Chrissy was always so nice, wasn’t she?” Dinah shakes her head, putting her nail polish back in her nightstand, then wraps her arms around her legs, hugging herself. “And Fred had a future in front of him. It’s so unfair. They had a family that loved them.”
“Dinah, I really don’t wanna talk about it,” you say, feeling yourself shiver. You don’t want to think about poor Fred or Chrissy, or the families mourning them. You try to focus on the book in your hands, but the words start blurring together, becoming harder and harder to read. 
You blink, confused, then realize Dinah is still talking.
“It’s the truth, isn’t it? I think about their dads too. Chrissy’s dad was crying so much at her wake. Do you think your dad would ever cry for you like that?”
You finally snap to look back at your friend. She’s staring at you like you’re small, like an insect she could stomp on. You’ve never seen her black eyes seem so soulless, so empty.
“Maybe they’ll be tears of joy, don’t you think? After all, weren’t you the one who made him walk away?” She tilts her head to the side, a sneer forming in her lips. “They could be a family without you.”
There’s something wrong in Dinah’s eyes. There’s something wrong about all of this, but you can’t point to what, where are you, when, why…what…?
When you blink, Dinah’s eyes look normal again. 
“(Y/N),” She asks, frowning. “Are you there?”
You shake your head. What the fuck was all that? 
“What?”
“You were staring at me like you weren’t all here,” she explains, grimacing. “Where did you go just now?”
“Sorry…” When you speak you feel a dull ache around your temple, and you lift a hand to rest against it, trying to soothe the pain aimlessly. “I think I need some painkillers or something, my head’s killing me.”
“Again?” 
“Yeah,” even before spring break you had confided in your friend about the headaches and the nightmares— you never told her why, but she at least knew you were seeing Ms Kelly. 
Dinah stands up, careful not to stain the carpet with her fresh black nail polish. “I’ll ask my dad for some Tylenol. Stay here, I’ll be back in a sec.”
Before Dinah is out the door she’s interrupted by the doorbell, which rings once, twice, three times and more. Dinah frowns, as her dad yells I’m coming, Jesus!
“Someone’s impatient…” you murmur, hand still resting on your temple.
“Hey,” Dinah, who has always had great hearing, says. “I think it’s your brother.”
You frown, and when Dinah’s father confirms it’s your brother by yelling out that It’s little Henderson!, you and Dinah head downstairs to find a heavy breathing Dustin, Max, Lucas and even Steve Harrington, looking as if they just ran a marathon.
Dustin’s eyes land on you. “(Y/N)!”
“Dustin?” you say, “What are you doing here? You need a ride ho—?”
Dustin runs to hug you by the waist, almost knocking the air out of you.
“Are you okay? Do you have a headache? Is your nose bleeding? Do you feel—?”
“Woah, Dustin,” you don’t know what to do with your hands— you and Dustin hadn’t hugged since he turned twelve and he and you both deemed it lame. “What’s going on? Did something happen?”
Dustin finally lets go of your waist to grab you by the face and inspect it properly. He roughly pulls your face down and tries to pull up your nose to look at your nostrils. “No nosebleed yet?”
Steve tries to stop him. “Dustin, buddy—”
Lucas adds a sustancial, “Dude.”
“Dustin!” you push his hands off your face, feeling your cheeks heat up when you notice everyone looking at you. “What the hell are you doing?”
Your brother opens his mouth to speak, but then seems to notice Dinah behind you and seems to think better of it. “We need to talk,” he says instead, “Like, right now.”
“Right now?” You ask. “I already told Dinah’s mom I’m staying for dinner. Dustin, what the hell is going on with you?”
Dinah clears her throat. “I’m… just gonna go get that Tylenol.”
“Tylenol?” Dustin asks when she walks away. “What for?”
“I have a headache.”
“Shit,” Max says, still by the door frame with Lucas and Steve.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Dustin curses, deep in thought. “It’s already started.”
“What?” You ask as Dustin starts pacing back and forth.
“We need to find out how to stop this right fucking now,” Dustin starts pacing back and forth. “Think, everyone.”
“Maybe Robin and Nancy found something in the library,” Steve offers.
“Yeah,” Lucas nods. “C’mon, man. Let’s go find them.”
“Okay, yeah. Okay, okay.” Dustin calms himself down, manages to stop his pacing. “Let’s go wait for them at the Wheeler’s. (Y/N), let’s go.”
You throw your hands up in disbelief.  “Can someone tell me what the hell is going on?”
“(Y/N),” Dustin says, his voice unfaltering. Dustin is never serious about much, and this renders you speechless. “I need you to listen to me for once in your goddamn life, okay? We need to go. Now.”
“Okay, Jesus,” you say finally. “Dinah’s mom is making Lasagna so this better be worth it, Dustin.”
📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼
On the way to Nancy Wheeler’s house, you learn two things: One, Dustin knows where a serial killer might be hiding, and two, your brother thinks you’re cursed and are going to die in, give or take, twenty four hours.
You glare at Steve Harrington in the rearview mirror. “What the fuck have you been giving him?”
“I’m serious!” Dustin yells. “I knew you wouldn’t fucking believe me.”
“I’m sorry,” you say, because he looks genuinely frustrated, but a second dimension and a supervillain? Does your brother think you’re stupid? Just how many movies has he been watching? “I just think D&D might actually be getting to your head, Dustin. There’s no way what you just told me is real.”
“Lucas and Max know it’s real too!”
Both of them nod furiously.
“Are the other two fourteen year olds your only source?”
“Steve too!”
Steve winks at you through the rearview mirror.
“Even worse,” you say.
“Listen,” Lucas tries to reason when Dustin groans in frustration, cursing under his breath at you. “I know this sounds absolutely crazy, I wouldn’t believe it either. But I promise you it’s all true, and if we don’t do something soon about it you’ll end up like Chrissy and Fred.”
An involuntary chill runs down your spine every time you think about them. 
“Guys,” you say, slowly, “I know things are scary right now, but I’m sure there’s a logical explanation for the murders besides a demon supervillain.”
“I didn’t believe it at first either,” Max shakes her head. “Not until I saw it with my own eyes.”
“Didn’t Ms Kelly’s file say the others who were cursed were also having hallucinations?” Steve asks the kids, looking for a place to park. “So, have you gotten any weird visions lately?”
Hallucinations? You think back, but can’t seem to pinpoint anything similar to that. Except tonight at Dinah’s place, before Dustin and the rest had rung the doorbell. Suddenly you grow a little paler, uncomfortable at the memory being brought back. That had been weird, but you were exhausted and knowing a serial killer, Eddie Munson, who apparently your brother knew, was out there still was making you restless.
“I wouldn’t really call them visions,” you murmur.
“Shit,” Dustin breathes, looking at you with wide eyes. “It’s spreading faster.”
“Listen, Dustin, I may be going through some shit lately, but I promise you I’m okay. I just need some painkillers for my head, seriously.”
“(Y/N)!” Your brother takes you by the shoulders and shakes you. “Your life is in imminent danger! You don’t need painkillers!”
“I do if you keep shaking me like a ragdoll!”
“Listen,” Lucas says, grabbing Dustin and prying him off you despite his protests. “Just stay with us tonight, okay? We’ll sleep at the Wheeler’s and it’ll make Dustin feel better, right? We’re all tired.”
“Dude—”
Lucas cuts Dustin off and whispers, “We’ll wait for what Nancy and Robin have to say and then figure out how to convince her later, yeah?”
Dustin sighs. “This was so much easier when El had her powers.”
“So yeah? You’ll stay the night?” Lucas asks, hopeful.
You see all three of the kids staring at you and cave in. “Yeah, yeah. Okay.” You say, at the same time Steve parks right in front of the Wheeler residence. Before you can even step out of the car another car pulls over by the garage and Nancy Wheeler and another girl you don’t know step out of it.
“Nance, Robin!” Steve exclaims as he stops the car and steps out. “Had fun at the library? I sure didn’t.”
“It went well, I think—”
“We have a situation,” Dustin is quick to interrupt, reaching over your space and popping his head out from the open window. “It’s my sister. We think Vecna cursed her.”
“Whatever that means,” you mumble, getting out of the car, Dustin trailing behind you and slamming the door shut.
“She doesn’t believe us,” Max explains.
“Well, I personally would be more weirded out if she did,” The girl you don’t know shrugs a little. You recognize her now— she worked with Steve at Scoops Ahoy last summer before the fire at Starcourt, and now works at Family Video. You’ve spoken a bit with her before.
“She’s been having visions, headaches, nosebleeds,” Dustin continues, “like Fred and Chrissy were, according to Ms Kelly’s files. I think Vecna is preying on vulnerable people, people dealing with...” he looks at you for a second, then back at the girls, settling on saying: “Some shit.”
“We found some articles about Victor Creel at the library,” Nancy says, then motions at the house with her chin. “Let’s talk inside.”
📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼
Nancy and Robin turn out to be as crazy as the rest of them— they tell the story of Victor Creel, infamous in Hawkins for murdering his entire family, and about how he was supposedly possesed by the devil according to some conspiracy newspaper. They want to talk to Victor, but the problem is that he’s now a patient at Pennhurst Mental Hospital and completely unreachable to the public. They plan to go first thing in the morning and the rest of the group seems to agree. 
“We’ll need a disguise,” is Nancy’s big plan.
You never quite get that Tylenol, because the strongest thing Ms Wheeler has is green tea. You think everyone’s lost their goddamned minds.
“So what do you want me to do while all of you plan?” You ask, sitting on the couch. Nancy and Robin leave to Nancy’s room. Max and Lucas are by the desk in the corner speaking softly, Dustin is pacing around the room impatiently as he usually does when he’s this restless, while Steve is sitting on the couch beside you, playing with Dustin’s (or is it Mike’s?) walkie-talkie. “Am I allowed to eat something? Because I’m starving.”
Dustin snatches the walkie-talkie from Steve’s hand. “You’re gonna break that.”
Dustin’s, then.
“We don’t know yet,” Lucas says, walking over to where you are, holding Max’s hand gently. “We’re hoping the girls find out something from Victor. In the meantime…”
“You can eat,” Steve concludes. “... Right?”
“Right,” Max nods.
“We have to do something soon,” Dustin’s the most anxious you’ve ever seen him, even before you took him to see The Empire Strikes Back. “We don’t know how much time you even have once the visions and all the hallucinations start. We said twenty four hours but we can’t be sure.”
“If it helps, they started today. At Dinah’s.”
“You snapped out of it, right?” When you nod, Steve shrugs. “Henderson, I think we have time to order some pizza, at least.”
“And a movie?” You ask, finally relaxing into the couch. You toss away your shoes and hug them to your chest. “Does Mike have The Breakfast Club somewhere around here?”
“Not that movie again,” Dustin groans.
You throw a pillow at your brother, who manages to dodge it easily. “It’s a great movie!”
“It lost its charm after the thirteen time you forced me to watch it with you.”
“The Breakfast Club?” Steve asks aloud. “(Y/N) Henderson is obsessed with The Breakfast Club? Is that why Dustin is always renting it at Family Video?”
Dustin huffs, offended. “Why else would I want to rent that stupid movie?”
“Molly Ringwald,” Steve answers, at the same time you yell out, “It’s not stupid!”
When Nancy comes downstairs she informs you that sadly no, she doesn’t have The Breakfast Club, but that she should. She does have the soundtrack, however, and you think about asking to borrow it tomorrow before she goes back upstairs to order a pizza.
A while later it’s almost midnight, everyone around you is tired, except maybe for Dustin, but the majority wins and you all decide getting some sleep is the best option. You agree, but know that you’re probably not getting any sleep tonight, either; you’ve been having nightmares every night for the past few days and you don’t believe today is going to be any different.
When the lights go off and everyone is already starting to doze off, Dustin is quick to turn his flashlight on.
“Dude! Turn that off!” Steve moans, launching a pillow straight into his face. Dustin doesn’t dodge this one this time, much to Robin and Steve’s satisfaction, who chuckle lightly.
“C’mon, Dustin, what the hell?” Lucas groans.
“Shut up! I’m trying to see if I can find something else in Ms Kelly’s files!”
“Dude,” Max sighs, “you’ve read them each four times already.” 
“You won’t be able to find anything if you’re exhausted,” Nancy tries more softly. “Just try to sleep for a bit, okay?”
“Dustin, c’mon,” you reach for his hand— it’s a bit uncomfortable from your position on the couch and his on the floor, but you do it anyway. That seems to soothe him slightly, to see you still offering comfort, like you’re still yourself. He manages a weak nod, and he squeezes your hand slightly before turning the flashlight off.
After a few minutes, Dustin starts snoring loudly. Steve, who you’re unfortunately stuck sharing the couch with, chuckles.
“He’s a good kid,” he says.
“Yeah,” you can’t help but agree. You wouldn’t trade your dork brother for anything. “He’s great. When he was little, he used to wet his bed all time after watching scary movies with me, and he’d wake me up to change his sheets so my dad wouldn’t yell at him for ruining them.”
“Steve raises a silent eyebrow at you, sounding amused. “And you actually did that?”
“I forced him to watch them. I felt bad,” you smile at the memory. “He would offer to wash the dishes for me, though.”
“Your moral compass is stronger than mine,” he hums.
“You know, he…” you start, unsure if Dustin would be upset if you shared this, then decide it’s not as embarrassing as telling him he used to wet his bed, and continue, “he really admires you. God knows why, Harrington, but he worships the ground you walk on.”
“Henderson?” He asks, a little in disbelief. “I don’t know—”
“I’m serious, Harrington. He loves you,” You hoped you didn’t sound jealous. There had been a time where you thought Steve was almost a replacement for you as an older sibling, but as time went on you realized how important Steve was to him. 
“Well. I’m pretty loveable.”
You roll your eyes. “Sure.”
“He’s pretty loveable, too,” Steve says after a few beats of silence, more softly now. “I don’t have any siblings, did you know that? So it’s… uhm, really cool to have him around. Even if he’s kind of a little shit sometimes.”
“Such a little shit,” you agree.
The rest of the group seems to be asleep already, or maybe they don’t care about the conversation enough to join you. Steve starts telling you about the time Dustin burrowed his hair gel and almost set fire to his bathroom, and you have to cover your mouth to stifle your giggles.
It’s not long before you start to feel abnormally cold, and can’t keep your body from trembling. Steve’s gentle voice is gone. The room is dark around you, and realizing that you must’ve fallen asleep while talking with Steve at some point, you hug yourself trying to seek some warmth. You try to grab a blanket from somewhere. Jesus, it’s spring for fuck’s sake, it shouldn’t be this cold. But you realize that despite the darkness you can see, and when you look up at the ceiling, you find a grandfather clock that most definitely doesn’t belong in the Wheeler’s basement.
“(Y/N).”
The voice calling your name is unfamiliar and it makes you feel ill almost immediately, like your stomach has turned into nothing but knots. You try to speak, to ask who it is, but nothing comes out, you can barely even breathe.
“Do you think you could ever keep living with this guilt?” The voice asks, somehow you feel as if the voice is right behind you, whispering into your ear. It’s like nails scraping against chalkboard in your eardrums. “Knowing what you did to your family?”
You want to turn around and find the voice, but you can’t, you can’t, you can’t. The clock is ticking, haunting you, calling for you. You want nothing but to run away from it, but you can’t move— you’re glued in place somehow, maybe in fear, you can’t tell. Everything is uncertain, except for the clock. The clock, you know, it’s real. 
It’s counting down. You know what it’s trying to tell you. It’s coming for you and you can’t escape it. It’s only a matter of time now.
“Soon, (Y/N)...” It whispers. “Soon, I’ll come for you, and no one will be able to help you, (Y/N)... (Y/N). (Y/N)!”
You open your eyes with a gasp to find Steve’s arms around your shoulders, shaking you slightly. His eyes are wide, a little frightened. When you look around you find Lucas and Max draped all over a chair, their chests rising slowly, asleep. Dustin is in a sleeping bag on the floor, near Robin and Nancy, hugging each other tightly in their sleep. Steve is the only one awake.
“Shit,” you say, placing your hand in your heart. “Did I wake you?”
“We were talking and then you just went somewhere,” he says. “You don’t remember?”
You suddenly feel very cold. “I thought I was sleeping. I saw…” You think about telling Steve, but it seems pointless now, almost. What would you tell him? You saw a clock? “I think it was one of those hallucinations you guys keep talking about. You’re really freaking me the hell out, you know.”
“Fuck, I think Dustin’s right,” he says.
“About me being cursed by a being from another dimension? Are you kidding?”
Steve does manage to look apologetic. “I know it sounds bonkers, but that’s because it is. I’ve seen it.”
“What? This other dimension?” You were starting to think Dustin and his nanny were just trying to play an extremely elaborate joke on you.
“The Upside Down, but no,” he shakes his head, and then his eyes land somewhere around the room, focusing on one of Mike’s many posters. “The monsters.”
“Vecna?” 
“Others,” he says, then murmurs, “Haven’t had the pleasure just yet.”
“The demoger…? What was it?”
“Demogorgon, yeah,” he grumbles. “The Mind flayer too. It’s all real. I wish Will and Eleven were here to actually explain this stuff; they are the ones who actually know their stuff about this.”
You have never seen Steve actually sound so… serious, before. It’s all actually starting to freak you out, you decide, and you aren’t sure if you actually want to find out if it’s all actually real or not. You stay silent for a few moments, sleep escaping you. You figure Steve’s fallen asleep until his voice startles you again.
“You okay there, Henderson?”
No, you want to say. You can’t shake the feeling that the voice is watching you, waiting to catch you by surprise. “Yeah,” you mumble, sleepless, scared.
Steve doesn’t seem to buy your answer however, because you feel his body shifting near your side of the couch, sitting right beside you. When you give him a look (he’s so close he can actually make it out) he clicks his tongue.
“See, I don’t really believe you, Henderson. So, I’m gonna stay near you, just in case you get another vision. Or if you want to hold my hand.”
“Screw you, Steve,” You glare, turning to the other side so that your view is Harrington-less. If you do feel better with him beside you, that’s between you and maybe Vecna, if he’s actually inside your head.
In the morning, when you wake up and Nancy and Robin are both gone (probably visiting a murderer in a mental hospital) and Steve is tangled up beside you, you decide you’ve had enough. 
“So we’re just gonna wait around to see what happens?” Dustin argues, as Lucas and Max try to reason with him.
“What else can we do?” Lucas asks, frustrated.
“Literally anything else, dude! My sister might die!”
“Okay, Dustin, you need to stop and we need to go home, now,” you tell him, looking around the basement for your jacket.
“No!” he points at you. “You’re not going anywhere until we know what to do.”
“Dustin. I’m four years older than you,” you glare, placing your hands on your hips. “I’m the older sibling. I’ve entertained this enough already, but I left mom’s car at Dinah’s and we need to go get it and then get our asses home before mom loses her shit.”
“(Y/N)! Listen to me!”
“No, Dustin!” You finally snap, taking Dustin’s walkie-talkie from his hand and shoving it into your bag despite his protests. “I’ve had enough about monsters and other dimensions and whatever other nonsense Eddie Munson has been feeding you! We’re going home, now!”
“I can’t believe I’m actually trying to help you!” Dustin screams, “You suck!”
“Well, you’re stuck with me!”
“I wish I wasn’t,” he says, his eyes cold. “I wish you weren’t my sister.”
The chills return like a slap across your face, making you stumble backwards slightly. The room around you turns dark immediately, the only person left is Dustin in front of you. But it’s not him, it can’t be, his eyes have never looked this lifeless.
“You took his chance away, didn’t you?” The unfamiliar, bone chilling voice returns. “His chance of having a real family, or at least a father figure. He’s right in wishing you weren’t his sister. He deserves someone better.”
Again you want to scream, but it’s like your mouth is taped shut. Around you Mike Wheeler’s basement seems to fade away into blue, and suddenly you’re standing on your front porch, watching your dad walk away. You’re saying the hardness around your eyes, your lips drawn into a tight line. You don’t look like yourself; you look older, and tired, and disappointed, more like a woman than the girl you were when this happened, the girl you must’ve been.
“Don’t come back again,” you tell your father’s retreating form. But your voice is distorted, so far away. 
“How many times has Dustin needed his father?” The voice asks. When you blink you’re somewhere else; not Mike’s basement, not your home. There’s splinters of wood scattered by your feet, like a house just destroyed. Everywhere around you is red, like blood, like the blood in those horror movies you forced Dustin to watch because he made them less scary when he squealed. “Are you proud you broke up your family?”
“I was a kid,” you manage to say, and only now you realize you’ve been crying all along, the salty tears wetting your dry lips. “I didn’t want Dustin to know what he did. I would take it back if I knew he wouldn’t actually come back.”
“But you did it anyway. You did.”
I did, I did, I did, you think, over and over. You close your eyes, hard, ignoring how it almost hurts.
“You miss him too, don’t you? Despite everything. You’re sadder about the fact that he left you, too. He left his daughter behind.”
“Who are you?” You hiss out, through your anguish.
“I’m part of you, (Y/N). Whether you want to or not.”
You’re not alone. When you open your eyes you see him — a monster, vicious even in looks, like someone slowly peeled away his skin, and all that was left of him was muscle and meat, not even blood. Vecna. Around you there are two different bloody columns, and you’re quick to notice they’re holding Chrissy and Fred’s bodies, like morbid museum displays, tokens. He was right, Dustin was telling the truth about everything, and now you were going to die because you didn’t listen to him.
“No,” you want to say, you want to scream. But you’re not strong enough, you can’t—
Hey, hey, hey, hey
You blink through your tears. You manage to recognize that melody in this unfamiliar place. You want to run towards it, but you’re not sure your legs can even respond to your commands right now.
Vecna seems to think something’s wrong, too, because as the song progresses he grows more impatient. “You think you can escape like this?”
Tell me your troubles and doubts
Giving everything inside and out and
Love's strange, so real in the dark
Think of the tender things that we were working on
His hands— his claws are stroking your cheeks, an aborted tender gesture, like he’s trying to soothe his prey before going for the kill. It’s over, you think, there’s nothing but this certain death. But then; you think of the hundreds of times you forced Dustin to watch this movie with you; of you both playing with Tews until he scratches one of you in annoyance; driving Mike, Lucas, Dustin and Will to the movies; getting ice cream at Scoops Ahoy and guggling when Steve gets rejected once again; putting Dustin’s hair in braids and practicong makeup on him when he was younger; asking Will Byers what he was sketching at the park; Dustin and you laughing during dinner because of some stupid joke. You think about last night, sleeping beside Steve, and the way he made you laugh.
Don't you, forget about me
Don't, don't, don't, don't
Don't you, forget about me
You can’t give up. You can’t leave Dustin.
Somehow you manage to pull Vecna off you with a shove, and you run. You run, you run as fast as your legs let you, as your jeans stain with what looks like blood, as Vecna screams at you. You run like you've never run before.
And then you gasp and you’re falling.
“Shit, fuck, shit!” Someone’s arms are around you, and it takes you a second to calm down to realize it’s Steve, and that you’re in Mike Wheeler’s basement and you’re alive, somehow.
“Holy fucking shit,” Max is saying, but you can barely hear her over the rapid beating of your own heart— erratic, but unquestionably alive. 
“God, god, (Y/N),” Dustin’s voice stands out from the others, and when you look at him there are tears streaming down his eyes, and you can barely process anything before you’re trying to reach for him despite feeling like you’re not even in your own body.
“I’m okay,” you tell him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders, Steve letting go of yours. “I’m okay, I’m okay.”
“I thought you were gonna die,” he whimpers.
“I’m here,” you breathe out. “Oh my God, I’m here thanks to you.”
You realize that the song is still playing, only to notice the headphones in your ears. You see your scattered bag around the room, and the walkie-talkie that Dustin must’ve been looking for already on the floor. Don’t You (Forget About Me) slowly fades to an end before the next song on the soundtrack starts.
“I’m sorry,” Dustin says into your shirt. “I’m sorry I didn’t notice you were going through something, I should’ve noticed. I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault.” You shake your head, holding your little brother even closer. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. And I’m sorry I didn’t believe you. Fuck, Dustin, I’m so sorry.”
You stay like that for a moment, hugging Dustin on the carpet, Max and Lucas hovering near, and Steve’s hand on your shoulder, grounding you.
📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼
When you explain to Nancy what happened and what you saw once she comes back from Pennhurst she’s quick to pinpoint the house you saw when you met Vecna as Victor Creel’s house. All of you grab your things and head to that location. You try to not feel so dreadful, and Dustin forcing you to listen to Don’t You the entire car ride and holding onto your jacket sleeve helps soothe your nerves, at least a little bit.
But Victor Creel’s house is something out of a horror story, dark and abandoned as it is, and the only light source in the house seems to be the hole Robin made when she smashed the window.
“Let’s split up,” Nancy offers, and everyone seems to comply much to your dismay.
Lucas and Max leave to investigate with Dustin (reluctantly parting from your side) trailing off behind them, Nancy and Robin head upstairs and you and Steve are stuck together and instructed to stay downstairs by Nancy, the only thing illuminating your way being your flashlights.
You wander through hallways, staring at ruined wallpaper and dusty portraits. Victor and his family seemed so happy in their pictures, and you wonder why nobody, family or not, ever came to look for their things. The house seemed frozen in time, like one day the family had decided to get up and leave everything behind, the house nothing more than ghosts.
“I hate this place,” you comment, trying to hug yourself tightly to keep the cold at bay. “Thinking that people died here is…”
“Horrible,” Steve finishes for you. “Yeah… Fuck this place, man.”
When you turn to a corner, you freeze in place.
“Steve.”
“Yeah?”
“You’re seeing this, right?” You point at a clock with your flashlight, unmoving. It’s the same clock from your visions, the one you saw before meeting Vecna.
“Yeah,” Steve frowns. “Real old. Why?”
“I saw it,” you try to explain through the rapid beating of your own heart. “In my visions, I mean. This clock was in them— well, the second one, mostly. In the Wheeler’s basement last night.”
“Shit…” Eloquent as ever, Steve Harrington. “Has to mean something, right?”
“If anything it proves Nancy and Robin were right. It all started here.” You finally force yourself to look away and continue forward, ignoring the way you feel your skin crawling. You hold up your cassette before re-starting the song.  “What would happen if I suddenly got tired of this song? Will it no longer work? Does this mean Vecna will… come back for me?”
“Listen, I— I’m not a genius at this like your brother, or like Nancy, or even Robin,” Steve admits, very honestly. “But I promise we’ll find a way, even if that happens. Besides, Dustin told us how much you love this song. Seems kinda impossible you’ll ever get tired of it if you listen to it every day. And listen, I gotta ask. Breakfast club?”
“What?” You feel heat rise up to your cheeks, embarrassed. You start walking away from the clock, trying to get rid of the chills that had gotten ahold of you just a few moments before. “It’s a great movie.”
“Yeah, absolutely,” Steve says, and even though you can’t really see him in the dark, you can hear his smirk, picture his smile. He’s teasing, and you’re kind of glad for it. It helps. “I just didn’t think it would be your thing, is all.”
You raise an eyebrow. “Oh? What’s my thing then?”
“I don’t know. You seem like a Dune fan, maybe.” He wonders out loud, your flashlight lighting the way. 
“I do like the book.”
“See?” Steve points at his temple. “I knew it.”
“I think working at Family Video is finally getting to you.”
“I’m good at reading people,” he says, and you raise another silent eyebrow at him. He continues, “I’d always thought of you as a little brainiac, and that you’d liked movies that were kinda difficult. You were always reading in school. I didn’t think you’d like teen flicks and Hughes.”
“Dune is not difficult. And maybe you don’t really know me enough to know what my thing is,” you shrug. “... Or maybe every girl is a little bit in love with Judd Nelson.”
“Yeah,” Steve actually laughs. “Can’t beat that hair.”
And you can’t help yourself, you smirk. You think you might actually be dreaming, or maybe this curse made Steve seem more tolerable than usual. “You give him a good run for his money.”
“We’re still talking about hair here, right?”
Now you point your flashlight at Steve and elbow him.
“I’m just asking!”
“It was a stupid question. And just so you know, there’s nothing wrong about liking teen flicks,” you say, continuing to walk and not waiting to see if Steve follows. “Pretty in Pink is my new favorite movie and my GPA is still 3.5.”
“Oh wow. Pretty in Pink?” He whistles. “You have a soft spot for Molly Ringwald.”
“Who doesn’t?”
He hums in response.
You stay like that for a moment, walking through dusty hallways and trying to avoid spider webs. Even with the flashlights the place looks abandoned and lonely, and there’s a coldness running down your spine that you can’t shake off no matter how much you try. You focus on trying to catch the sound of Steve’s breathing to somehow ground yourself to reality. It feels like ever since meeting Vecna your grip on reality slowly fades away, like someone is unraveling the carpet from underneath you, trying to catch you by surprise. Like you’re falling into an abyss of darkness and you can’t hold onto anything— because nothing around you is truly real. And so you bite your lip to keep yourself from reaching out to Steve and holding on. You can’t think of a moment you’ve felt as uncertain as you do now; but Steve��s teasing and your bickering back and forth is normal, makes you feel like you’re not actually in immediate danger. You figure if there’s a different dimension called the Upside Down, then you can most definitely forgive Steve Harrington for being a jerk in High School. He has more than proven himself to you. 
Because the truth is that maybe Vecna will win. Maybe you will never beat this curse. And you’ll end up like Chrissy Cunningham, like Fred Benson, like Patrick McKinney; just dead bodies along the trail.
“Hey, Steve,” you call, slowing down to walk beside him. He turns to look at you, but you can’t bring yourself to look at him. “Uhm. If something… like, happened to me—”
“Woah, woah, wait,” Steve shakes his head. “Nothing will. We beat the curse, remember? With the song?”
“Yeah, but we didn’t actually beat it, did we?” Now you do turn to look at him, and his big eyes almost render you speechless. You don’t know what to call the look on his eyes, but it makes you want to look away from him; makes you want to run. “Listen, Steve, I just— I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize,” he says, quickly. You think he’s noticed how embarrassed you feel, and you look away, embarrassed. “You’re just scared shitless like the rest of us.”
“It’s not that,” you shake your head. “I’m sorry for being such a jerk around you and picking fights with you. You’ve— you’ve been there for Dustin when I wasn’t, and I guess you’re not actually a bad guy. So… I’m sorry I judged you. And thank you, I guess. For being there for Dustin. And… me.”
Steve doesn’t say anything for a second. You’re still looking anywhere but him, now focusing your eyes on a spider in one of the many spider webs in front of you. You feel embarrassed and stupid, but a little bit better. You know you’re doing the right thing by apologizing— you know Steve now, better than you’ve ever thought you would. You finally dare to take one look at him and his eyes are still on you, and when your eyes lock, he smiles softly.
“You’re apologizing for that?” Steve asks, and when you nod matter of factly, he tilts his head to the side. “Huh. Never thought I’d see the day Henderson’s sister apologized to me.”
“Don’t let it get to your head, Harrington,” you roll your eyes, but can’t help the small smile forming on your lips. “I’m only doing this because I might die.”
Steve chuckles, nodding. “Fair enough,” he says. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry too, Henderson. To be honest, I think I kind of deserved it. I was an asshole in High School, so… yeah. I, uh, I’m sorry it took me getting kicked off the clique to realize you’re not half bad.”
“Well,” Now it’s your turn to laugh. “It took me almost dying to realize you’re not half bad either. I think we’re even.”
Steve stops in his tracks, making you stop, too, a little confused. You turn to look at him, and you don’t think you’ve ever seen him look quite so… earnest, maybe. You can’t name the look on his face, but you can’t look away, can’t seem to be able to keep walking. You’re frozen in place.
“You’re not gonna die, Henderson,” he says, determined. “I won’t let you.”
Your mouth goes dry. All you can do in response is nod. You want to say something, but the words escape you, and so you stare at each other for a few seconds, neither of you saying anything. You wonder if Steve can hear the rapid beating of your heart, if he can make out the way your eyes drop to his lips for a slow second despite the darkness around you both.
Then you hear Dustin yell out, “Guys!” and the moment fades away.
📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼
Finding Eddie at Skull Rock seems to be harder than it should be, and once you find him you’re made to follow Dustin’s apparently broken compass. You feel like you’re wandering through the desert, with no clear path in mind. Dustin is at the front, with Lucas and Max following closely behind, Eddie (who you now have a hard time believing would ever be able to kill anyone), Robin and Nancy in front of you and Steve.
You find yourself time and time again choosing to spend more time with Steve, that he seems to be the one able to actually make you feel grounded, like you’re not gonna die in the next three seconds. You feel like yourself around him; but different. Steve is different. This whole experience is making you rethink everything you’ve ever known.
You can’t help but wonder in the silence about Dustin and the others, guiding the rest of you through the night time in the forest. Despite all of them being younger than you, they don’t seem to need your help, especially Dustin, who you think is completely in his element leading the way.
After a while of walking in silence, Dustin announces that the compass seems to be going even crazier. At this, Robin pries it off his hands to confirm that it’s true. Eddie and Dustin argue for a second about following the compass and make another Lord of the Rings reference that has you smiling.
“He’s not half bad,” you comment. “Eddie, I mean.”
“I still don’t know what the hell Modor is,” Steve mumbles under his breath.
You don’t try to explain Lord of The Rings to him— you don’t think there’s even enough time. But, maybe one day, when Hawkins isn’t in imminent danger and Steve still wants to hang out with your uncool self for whatever reason.
“What do you think we’ll find wherever this stupid compass is taking us?” You ask him, trying to avoid accidentally stepping on some poison ivy. Just your luck to get cursed and also poisoned on the same week. “You know more about this than me.”
“I’m actually more like, the, uhm, action guy of the group.”
“So you’re telling me you don’t know where we’re going,” You conclude.
Steve nods. “No damn clue, Henderson.”
“Great,” you chuckle lightly. 
“All I know is that it’s probably a portal Vecna opened after killing someone.”
“A portal. To the upside down?” When Steve nods in confirmation, you sigh. “I still can’t get used to how crazy this is.”
“The third time you do this you kind of just start going with the flow of things,” Steve admits. “Russian spies, MK-Ultra, different dimensions, monsters— it all just kind of starts to sound like background noise.”
“Dustin and the kids seem to really know about all of this.”
“They do,” Steve nods. “Dustin is like, their leader. Our leader, I guess.”
“My little brother… fighting communists and monsters.” You shake your head. “Yeah, I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that. How did Nancy? With you and Mike?”
Steve stops for a second to frown at you. “With me?”
“You know, with Nancy and you dating.”
“Me and Nancy?” he asks, then shakes his head. “No, me and Nance just… we go way back, but she’s with Jonathan. That ship sailed a long time ago. We’re friends now. Besides, she’s the one killing more monsters than me.”
“Oh.”
There’s no way to ignore the way your heart skips a beat at this, or the hopeful glint in Steve’s eyes. The rest of the woods disappear and it’s only you and Steve and your rapidly beating heart. The others are lost to you, in their own little world, searching in the dark with their flashlights like fireflies.
“Yeah,” Steve scratches the back of his neck. “And, just in case, me and Robin are not a thing, either. Just friends.”
“Platonic with a capital P!” You hear Robin yell out in front of you.
You can’t help the laugh that bubbles out of you at Steve’s blush. “Yeah, yeah, think she got it, Buckley, thanks.”
“You’re welcome!”
“That’s… good to know,” you comment.
Steve raises his eyebrows at you, then scratches his chin. “Is it? Good to know?”
You nod slowly, avoiding his gaze. “Maybe.”
“Maybe. Okay. Maybe is—” he breathes out. “Maybe is cool.”
“Maybe is really cool,” you allow yourself a small smile.
“Really?” Steve inquires, and when he notices his smile he gifts you one of his own. “Okay. That’s great. Maybe is really cool. Cool. Cool beans.”
“Yeah?” You bite your lip, finally daring to look at him.
Steve follows your movement with his eyes. “Yeah,” he says, breathless.
“Hey guys,” Dustin’s voice rings out, the moment gone. “I think we found the portal!”
You both follow Dustin’s voice until you reach a lake, where Eddie explains Vecna killed Patrick when he was running away from Jason and the rest of the basketball team. 
“So the portal is… what?” Robin asks, “Underwater?”
Dustin shrugs. “Worth a shot.”
He starts climbing up the boat, and you’re quick to grab him by the sleeves of his shirt to stop him.
“Just what do you think you’re doing?” You ask him.
“Looking for the portal,” Dustin says, matter-of-factly.
“You told me this portal is supposed to teleport you to another dimension, one Will Byers got stuck in,” you reply, pulling him away from the boat. “You’re not going anywhere near that portal. None of you kids are.”
“Who died and made you the boss?”
“Three people died,” you note.
“I made her the boss,” Robin quips. “Well, Nancy might technically be the boss, actually. Nance?”
Nancy blinks at Robin’s words. “Uh, yeah. Sure.”
“Nance says yes.”
Eddie frowns. “Yes to being the boss or yes to—”
“Let’s just go,” Nancy urges, gesturing at Steve to help her drag the boat offshore. Steve complies, and helps Nancy climb into the boat, followed by Robin and then Eddie.
“But what about the curse?” Dustin wonders, looking at you.
“I have this, remember?” You hold up the cassette player, and wink at your brother. “Don’t worry about me, okay? Look after Lucas and Max. Nancy might be the boss, but you’re their leader.”
“Okay, yeah,” he nods, sounding more like he’s talking to reassure himself than anything. 
“Compass, please,” you tell him, and Dustin complies unhappily. You can’t help yourself from grabbing him by the cheeks and kissing his forehead like you did when he was younger. Despite being a good leader, a fighter, he’ll always be little Dusty, who steals your waffles and makes really bad coffee. “See you soon.”
Steve offers his hand to help you climb the boat and you take it with a tiny smile.
The trip on the boat is short and dark. Even with Steve using his flashlight to try and light the way, it’s barely enough to keep you from being engulfed in the darkness of the night. When was the last time the moon shone down in Hawkins? There are almost no stars above, the view chillingly dark. You fear what you might find. Nancy stares at Dustin’s compass, trying to give any semblance of direction when the compass starts going crazy.
Steve starts pulling off his socks. 
“Steve,” Nancy says slowly, “what are you doing?”
“Somebody’s gotta go down there and check this thing out. Was one of you four Hawkin’s High’s swimming co-captain and a certified lifeguard for three years?” He figures, already working on his other shoe. “It’s gotta be me, no complaints, alright?”
Eddie chuckles nervously. “Hey… I’m not complaining. I do not wanna go down there.”
You watch as Eddie takes something off his pocket and throws it on the boat’s floor. You want to stop Steve somehow, irrationally, because as far as you know Nancy, Robin and Eddie can’t dive, and you can barely float — but the words die on your throat when you look up and Steve is peeling off his shirt.
“Here,” Eddie says, and you realize now he had wrapped a plastic bag around a flashlight and is now handing it back to Steve. “Good luck.”
“Thanks,” Steve says, taking it from his hands.
“Steve,” Robin rasps out before he dives, and Steve stops to look at her. “Don’t… die?”
“Gee,” he scoffs. “Thanks for the encouraging speech, Robs.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Don’t die, seriously,” you manage to tell him, wanting to reach for his hand but stopping yourself. “Or I’ll kill you.”
Steve nods. He looks like he wants to say something else, but keeps his mouth shut before diving underwater.
The silence on the boat almost kills you, as it rocks quietly, everyone holds their breath waiting for Steve to come up once again. Your heart is in your throat, Don’t You still playing softly in your eardrums, the cassette player still on, a constant to remind you you’re still here. Miraculously.
“He’s…” Eddie whistles. “He’s got balls, King Steve.”
“Yeah,” you nod, looking at the water like you’re hypnotized, waiting for his soaked head to pop up.
“Not what you’d expect,” he adds, a little quietly.
“No,” Robin says, and the way she says it— so fond, so genuine. You couldn’t agree more. Steve is so much more than what you’d expected him to be. “Not at all.”
You stay silent for a few more seconds, all of you waiting for Steve to come back. When he does he emerges with a gasp for air, startling the rest of you. Eddie screams so loud you hear it perfectly well over the music.
“Found it,” Steve claims, holding onto the edge of the boat.
“You found it?” Nancy repeats.
“It was pretty wild,” Steve explains that he seemed to have stumbled into the portal, like an open gate illuminating the bottom of the lake and tinting it red. “It was pretty damn big—”
Before he can continue, Steve is pulled into the water once again, and you jump up instinctively, trying to reach for his hand, but he escapes your grasp quickly. He emerges again and you breathe a sigh of relief— but it’s short lived, because Steve is dragged under once again and he’s not coming up.
“Steve!” you yell. “Steve!”
“What the hell was that, man?!”
Between all the screaming going on, the only thing you can think about is Steve, Steve, Steve—
And so you stand up.
“Wait, (Y/N),” Nancy starts, “What are you—”
“You’re not going in there!” Eddie screams, trying to grab you by the arm.
“I—” You start, but can’t seem to decide on what to say. You don’t know what you’re trying to do, but you know you’ll do it anyway. You have no plan, that much is certain, you’ve never fought a day in your life. “I can’t just stay here!”
“Are you insane?!”
Robin pales. “No, (Y/N), wait—”
With one last look at the rest of the guys, you dive into the water and swim. You’ve never been a good swimmer, but you find yourself swimming like you’ve never had, quickly finding the red portal Steve had mentioned before being dragged down here. What you find on the other side reminds you of when you met Vecna— when he showed you your memories, cold, distorted and dark. You briefly wonder if Vecna had managed to drag you all the way here then, but you have no time to dwell on it too much.
Steve is laying on his back, as some creatures bite at his abdomen incessantly, like leeches. They are choking him, curling their tails around his neck. You stand up and run towards him, only to notice the others have followed behind you, their wet footsteps a reassurance.
“(Y/N)!” Nancy yells, making you turn. She throws one of the boat’s paddles at you, keeping one for herself. 
You manage to catch it, God knows how. Steve is still struggling when you get to him, and the first thing you do is smack one of the things across the face, forcing it on its back and stopping it from further gnawing Steve’s abdomen. You see as Robin starts stomping on the one who has its tail curled around Steve’s neck, and Nancy takes on the other one.
“Shit,” Eddie murmurs when he looks up the sky and sees even more of them approaching.
One of them starts going after Nancy, Eddie trying to come to her rescue by grabbing Steve’s still working flashlight and smacking it as hard as he can manage. You help Robin by hitting the one she’s stomping on with the paddle, until Steve manages to bite its tail, forcing it to curl itself from his neck. 
With more coming, you are distracted enough to barely notice when Steve manages to behead it, his lips stained with pitch black blood.
“Jesus christ,” Eddie mumbles. “Jesus H Christ!”
The adrenaline pumping through your veins, your heartbeat going faster— everything seems to go for so long, when in reality it must’ve been just a few minutes.
“Steve,” you manage to rasp out, walking towards him, only looking at his wounds, unsure of what you can do to help him. “Shit, Steve, are you okay?”
“They only took about a pound of flesh,” he says, making you sigh. “But other than that… Yeah, never better.”
He stares at you when he says it, and you can’t help the way your breath catches.
“You’ll need bandages,” Nancy notes.
“Do you guys know if these bats have like, rabbies?” Robin wonders aloud. Aware that everyone’s eyes are on her, Robin starts rambling about rabies symptoms and death. You and Steve glance at each other.
Steve’s chest is still rising erratically, exhausted, when he asks, “What the hell are you talking about, Robin?”
Before Robin can go on any longer though, the sky is tinted red again, and the screeching of even more approaching creatures gets you on edge. 
“We need to get the fuck out of here,” you say, and the rest of the group seem to agree.
The five of you break into a run into the forest, as far as you can before Steve’s wounds start to appear more serious, and when Nancy deems it safe enough, you stop near a tree where Steve can lean against, still breathing rapidly. You remember that Nancy said he’d need bandages, and so you take the hem of your pants and start ripping them open.
“What are you—” Steve starts.
“Bandages,” you say. “I saw this in Indiana Jones.”
“Indiana Jones?” Steve asks with a chuckle, looking up at the sky, smiling. “Your movie choices keep surprising me, Henderson.”
You tie the cloth around his wounds as tightly as you can, hopeful that it’s a good enough job to keep him from bleeding out until you guys get out of here. The wounds don’t look too bad, but you have no idea how long you'll stay here for. Nancy, looking over your shoulders, seems to approve of your bandage work.
“Thanks,” Steve rasps out.
“Just don’t die on me,” you nod, staring at his eyes.
“I’ll try not to.”
He holds your gaze, your mouth going even more dry than it already is. “I’ll hold you to that, Harrington.”
You’re interrupted when Steve catches something behind you. It’s Eddie’s jean vest. When you turn, Eddie scrunches up his nose.
“For modesty, man.”
“We escaped now, but there’s more of those monsters than what we saw,” Nancy interrupts, walking around, trying to think. “They’ll come looking for us. We need to get out of here.”
“So,” Eddie starts, running a hand through his mouth. “What the hell do we do now? How do we get out of here, exactly?”
“We need to find another portal, right?” Robin replies. “That’s the only way to get out of here. But we can’t go back to Watergate, it’s probably full of those bats now. Those bats full of rabies!”
 “Right now, the most important thing is to defend ourselves,” Nancy says. “We don’t know what kind of monsters are down here. Maybe they’re even worse than that.”
“Hell,” Eddie breathes. “You think Vecna is here?”
“I don’t know… Maybe.”
A chill runs down your spine at the mention of Vecna’s name. Your hand flies to your ear, and only then you realize you’ve jumped in the water with your headphones on, and when you reach the player secured inside your front pocket it’s wet and broken. Through the adrenaline of the fight, you hadn’t even noticed that the song was no longer playing. 
“Shit,” Nancy breathes out, looking at your ruined headphones. “The player.”
“It’s ruined,” you lament, seeing the way it’s soaked. You toss the cassette player to the ground, near Steve’s feet, who pales even more, if it’s even possible.
“Fuck,” he says, breathless, the slight reassuring smile he’d been wearing disappears in an instant. He stands up straight despite his body clearly protesting against it. “We need to find another one before it’s too late.”
“Would it even work here?” Robin wonders. “If it’s one from the Upside Down, I mean. Things seem to be… kind of broken here, don’t they?”
“Then we need to get her out of here right now,” Steve urges, and when he starts trying to walk away it’s Eddie who stops him.
“Dude, do you want your intestines to hang out of your abdomen like some shitty Nightmare on Elm Street scene?” he asks, “Stay still! Those bats could be anywhere!”
“We need to move!”
“Steve, wait a second,” you urge after him.
“We could go to my house,” Nancy offers. “I have guns. We could use them to fend off the demo… bats, or whatever. And we need a player. We can use Mike’s, he has one he didn’t take to California.”
Eddie blinks. “You, Nancy Wheeler… have guns.”
Robin grins. “Full of surprises, isn’t she?”
Steve is already on his way despite his groans of pain, and even though the wounds had seemed pretty superficial to you when you wrapped them up, it doesn’t mean that they don’t hurt like a bitch.
“Steve, you’re just hurting yourself even more now,” Now Robin is sighing, exasperated. You briefly wonder how many times she’s had to deal with Steve like this.
“Let’s go,” he says, ignoring her.
“Steve...” you try to stop him, but he turns around quickly.
“Let’s go!” 
Robin scoffs, crossing his arms. “Where are we even going, oh great leader?”
“Nancy’s!”
You all turn to look at each other, unsure if following Steve is the best idea, but with nothing else to do and no other ideas, there’s only one thing to do.
And so you all start walking.
📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼📼
It’s a while before you arrive at the Wheeler’s, the five of you mostly exhausted from the fight, with Steve clutching his wounds but still leading the way, right next to Nancy. You’re all on edge the entire way back, but despite the lack of music you don’t feel different yet, and you don’t encounter any more demobats, as Nancy had called them.
Nancy’s house seems haunted in this place, just as much as the rest of Hawkins seems to be. Despite housing monsters, the Upside Down looks more like a ghost town than anything. You couldn’t help but wonder how tiny Will Byers had ever survived something like this so young… Nobody ever gives that kid enough credit. 
Nancy wastes no time climbing up the stairs; she almost seems unaffected looking at her house like this, so… dead. She hovers near a door and turns to look at you.
“This is Mike’s room,” she nods at it. “His cassette player should be in there. Me, Eddie and Robin will get the guns and look for the cassette in my room.”
You agree to it, and she disappears down the hallway along with Eddie and Robin. You and Steve enter Mike’s room, start rummaging through cabinets. You work in silence. You’ve never seen Steve this quiet, this focused. You wonder if he’s mad at you— he had to be. Now besides demobats and trying to escape, he had to help you too because you’d went and done something stupid and completely irrational.
Steve clears his throat, holding up something in his hand. “Found it,” he calls. “Think it’ll work?” He wonders aloud, as you close the closet door before walking up to him.
“Here,” You say, then pull your ruined flashlight from your back pocket. You hit the back of it against the palm of your hand and the batteries come off. You’re not sure if this might work since the flashlight got wet and stopped working once you jumped into the water, but once you plug them into the cassette player it seems to come to life. Steve sighs, relieved. “Thank God that worked. Let’s get that stupid cassette and get out of here.”
“Sounds good to me,” he quips. He wets his lips, looking around. “You don’t feel any different, though, right?” When you shake your head, he seems to be able to relax a bit. “When we were on our way here, Eddie told me you didn’t waste a second to help me.”
You wait for Steve to continue, but he doesn’t.
“I’ve never been much of an adventurer when we were kids,” you say. “Dustin wanted to climb trees and go camping, and I wanted to stay home and read books. We used to fight all the time because I never wanted to play outside with him, because I was scared of bugs and dirt and I just wanted to stay inside.”
Steve doesn’t say anything to that, but he’s near you, hoving near your hand, like he knows you need the comfort, unsure if it’d be wanted from him. 
“If I don’t make it out of this stupid curse, Steve,” you breathe out, legs feeling so shaky you want to throw up, “I need you to promise me you’ll take care of Dustin.”
“He’ll kill me before I let you die,” Steve says, trying t sound lighthearted but failing.
“Steve,” you rag out. “Promise me. Please.”
Steve nods, his voice soft in the way it does when he’s trying to be gentle. “Y—yeah. Of course. You know little Henderson’s like my own little brother.”
“I know,” you acknowledge. “You’ve been a way better sibling than me. I’ve been such a shitty sister and I’m… I’m really glad Dustin has you.”
“That’s not true,” he argues, reaching for your arm in the darkness of the room— you want to flinch away. “He loves you, (Y/N). Seriously, you should hear the way he talks about you when you’re not around.”
You ignore the sting in your eyes and berate yourself for tearing up.
“It’s my fault,” you whisper.
“What?”
“It’s my fault my dad walked away,” you shake your head, tearing your arm away from Steve’s touch, feeling cold as soon as you’re away from him. But you deserve it, you deserve the cold. “I told him I hated him after I learned he cheated on mom and that he had another family, and he never came back. I told him I never wanted to see him again. I’m the reason Dustin doesn’t have a dad now. But— but I was just fifteen, I didn’t— I didn’t know what I was asking—”
“Stop, stop,” Steve interrupts, and suddenly he’s pulling you close to your chest and holding you close.
And suddenly that’s all you need to break down, tears flowing freely down your cheeks. You feel embarrased, stupid for crying about something like this when the world might be about to end, horrifyingly guilty for everything— but for the first time you feel like something has been finally lifted off your chest and you can breathe, here, with Steve holding you. You’re glad Steve stayed behind with you. In truth, you think you might just be glad for Steve.
If someone had told you a week ago you’d be crying in Steve Harrington’s arms you would’ve smacked them. Life can change really fast, huh?
“Nobody is going to die,” his voice is so soft. You’d never thought you’d think of Steve’s voice as anything other than grating, but now you hold onto it like a lifeline. “I won’t let that happen.”
You breathe into his chest. You finally manage to let go of him, thanking God the others weren’t near. You miss the warmth almost immediately, as much as you don’t want to admit it. “Shit, sorry, your bandages.”
“You need to stop doing that,” he quips.
“What?”
“Apologizing so much,” he reaches for your arm again before walking, and you thank him silently. You have to bite your tongue not to apologize again. “Let’s go get that cassette.”
When you both step into Nancy’s room, the silence is almost deafening. 
“What happened?” 
“The guns,” Nancy explains, her eyes focused on her nightstand, not looking up at either of you. “They aren’t here. But so many things that shouldn’t be are. Like— like my curtains, and these— these toys I gifted my cousin Joanna. They haven’t been here since 1983.”
“We’re stuck in time, dude,” Eddie finishes for her.
“Three years, to be exact.”
“What?” Steve asks, confused. “Three years into the past?”
“... From when Will disappeared, you mean?” You question.
Nancy nods. “Yeah, I… think so. But, (Y/N), If we’re three years in the past, it means The Breakfast Club isn’t out yet,” Nancy swallows, hard, then finally looks up to stare into your eyes. 
“What do you mean?” Steve asks, his chest rising erratically. 
You bite your lip. “She means the song doesn’t exist, either.”
Nancy closes her eyes.
“I’m sorry, (Y/N).” 
“Fuck!” Steve yells, “fuck!”
He kicks one of Nancy’s nightstands with so much force he manages to force it into the ground, Nancy’s belongings following suit, scattering around the carpet, making Nancy flinch. 
“Steve,” you whisper, trying to reach for him. “Stop.”
Steve sits on Nancy’s bed, hand covering his mouth. He lets you rest your hand on his arm, and he breathes out another curse. He almost looks frozen in place like this, and it reminds you that everything in here feels like it is— ghosts, so many ghosts. You feel like you’re stuck in hell. 
“Maybe any song will work,” Robin offers a little desperately, going through Nancy’s drawers, pulling out different cassettes and soundtracks, Duran Duran, Madonna, Elton John. “C’mon guys, one has to work.”
Eddie scratches his neck. “Doesn’t it have to be her favorite song? Isn’t that what Henderon said?”
“Screw it,” Nancy shakes her head, taking in a shaky breath. “We have to try whatever we can. This is our only option.”
“Okay,” you nod, shakily, prying your hand off of Steve’s arm, reaching to cruch own next to Robin and look through the rest of Nancy’s cassettes. “Okay, let’s— let’s try it.”
Robin holds up Total Eclipse of the Heart. “You like Bonnie Tyler?” 
“Seems as good as anything,” you nod, taking it from her hands. As the first notes of Total Eclipse start playing, you gulp nervously, praying this might work, that you have at least enough time to get out of here alive.
Steve still looks miserable, but seems a little calmer now. “We need to get out of here right now.”
“How?” Robin sighs. “How did Will ever manage to get out of this place?”
“There has to be a way,” Nancy figures, then something seems to dawn on her. “Will. Will used to talk to Joyce with the Christmas lights while he was stuck in the Upside Down.”
“The Christmas lights?” Eddie asks, incredulously. “What are you talking about?”
As she explains, you can’t help but think that Nancy Wheeler is absolutely brilliant. You can’t blame Steve for falling in love with her before. She’s interrupted by Robin rather quickly though, when she claims she can hear Dustin’s voice— soon enough, all of you start to hear him, distorted and distant, but it's there no less. Quickly Dustin communicates that he thinks there might be another portal in Eddie’s trailer and that seems to be your best shot at an escape.
Robin and Nancy leave to get some supplies for the trip— whatever they can find to use as a weapon, while Eddie wanders off behind them, with the excuse of rummaging through little Wheeler’s action figures. Steve stays with you, as you stare at Holly’s Lite Brite, unsure on what to do. 
You trust Dustin and his plan, of course you do. Dustin’s done nothing but prove himself to you these past few days. Still, the thought that everything might go incredibly wrong is almost unshakable at this point. What was it Max said to you? Something about how Vecna’s curse made people feel hopeless and lonely.
“You okay, right?” Steve wonders aloud, searching your face. “You haven’t had any visions yet?”
You haven’t felt Vecna’s pull yet, but you don’t want to be overly optimistic just yet. “I’m okay, I think. Are you?”
You glance down at his bandages, but he only nods. “Yeah, they don’t hurt anymore. I’m more worried about you.”
Warmth spreads all over your cheeks and inside your chest, but now’s really not the time for all of these feelings, and so you try to squeeze them out, to focus on something else. 
“I just hope the plan works,” you mumble. “I want to get out of here.”
“You—” Steve shakes his head, looks at you with a look you can’t name. But he sounds frustrated, exhausted. “You just jumped in after me? You didn’t even think…” he trails off. “Eddie said you just jumped. Fucking jumped. You’re unbelievable, you know that, don’t you, Henderson? Absolutely fucking unbelievable.” 
You look down at your hands.
“It was stupid, I know, I—”
“Thank you,” Steve murmurs, honesty bleeding into every word he speaks. You look up at him, surprised. “You saved my ass back there.”
The truth is you hadn’t doubted one second— you hadn’t even stopped to think about what might happen to you. Helping Steve was more important to you than anything in that moment, and you didn’t regret it, how could you regret that? 
“You saved my ass first, back at the Wheeler’s,” you smile at him. “Even later, in the woods, and at Creel’s house. I don’t know if I could have kept going without you… so thank you.”
Steve stays silent for a few seconds, unsure of how to continue. You can practically feel him grow nervous now, when he clears his throat and begins speaking. “Listen, I know we are on the brink of life and death and maybe world threatening danger, but I kinda need some motivation to get out of here.”
“Yeah?”
“So, now that you know me and Nancy aren’t really a thing, and that me and Robin are platonic with a capital P…”
“Keep going.”
“And since you know, maybe is really cool,” you nod, trying to fight off a smile. “We should, maybe, go on a date together.”
“Hm…” you place a hand on your chin. “I don’t know. I’m not sure I can go out with someone who doesn’t like Pretty in Pink.”
“I’ve never said I didn’t,” he shrugs. “I just haven’t even seen it.”
“You haven’t seen Pretty in Pink, you monster?!”
“You know, I’m actively bleeding out here,” Steve gestures at your last minute bandages, his smile almost as handsome as him, even more so after tearing off a bat monster’s head off. Even more so now that it seems you finally have a plan to get out of this goddamn place. “You’re gonna make a dying man wait?”
“You’re not dying, Harrington.” You smack him gently across the shoulders. “I won’t let you.”
Steve chuckles, his hand finding its way to yours, almost nervous, scared of rejection. 
“So? What do you say?”
“I say that if we get out of here alive, and it seems like kind of a longshot right now…” you acknowledge, holding onto his hand and squeezing. “I would really, really like that.”
“Yeah?”
You’re smiling. “Yeah.”
You both might be the people with the worst timing in the entire world— you’re cursed by a demon villain from another dimension, and Steve is bleeding out while you’re both trapped inside the Upside Down, with no clue if you’ll be able to actually escape. Not to mention this is all happening in his ex's house. And yet you can’t help but laugh when Steve tries to reach for the back of your neck and fails miserably.
“I really want to kiss you,” he says, “but my abdomen still really hurts.”
“I have to do everything,” you tease, before closing the distance between you, your lips pressing against his with a sigh. 
Steve’s lips are chapped, bloody, raw, and yours must be equally as bad, salty, open and bleeding raw. But despite everything the kiss is perfect, as imperfect and uncoordinated as it is; the way your lips fit together, the way Steve cradles your cheek, and how you hold the back of his neck while Bonnie Tyler plays in the background of it all. Now, more than anything, you feel hope.
When you break off the kiss, Steve is smiling. 
“Let’s get out of here,” he says. And you just might.
11K notes · View notes
emyladia · 3 days
Text
I want you back... | L. Nr
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pairing : lando norris x f!reader
summary : you and lando had broke up a few months ago and you're just now moving on. Or so you thought... 'Cause that was before he decide to text you.
genre : fluff, slightly angst ?
warning : cursing, pretty sure that's all
a/n : I just loooove writting about lando. This is kinda shitty but it was fun to write hope you'll enjoy it ! Anyways taking request if you want.
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You were fine, of course the break up has been really tough for you but now you could say it loud and proud : you were over it.
What a lie...
All it took was a damn text for your world to fall into piece again.
"Hey"
It was 3 AM when you screen lit up, and now that single word was making you completly crazy.
What the hell ? Why would he be texting you ? Maybe a wrong number ? Was he drunk ?
Your head was just a huge mess at the moment, that's probably because of that that you decided to answer. You clearly wouldn't have if you were in your plain consciousness.
At least that's what you were trying to convinced you.
"Hey" You text back.
"It's been a while" He answered in less than a minute.
"WTF lando ?" You couldn't help but send, this wasn't making any sense.
He was the one to broke up with you, and he hadn't even try to contact you the past months. Why would he texts you ? And why now when you were finally moving on ?
"I miss you"
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You had turn off your phone after this text.
Like what were you supposed to say ? That you too you were missing him ? That in fact you were missing him so damn much it was hurting you ? That you were missing him so bad that sometimes you were calling your male friends by his name ?
You just couldn't answered that.
You were having lunch with your a few friends, yet the text just wouldn't leave your mind.
You had basically stared at it the whole morning.
"Hey, you're okay y/n ?" One of your friend asked.
"Oh yeah sorry I was just lost in my thoughts" You tried to brush it off, chuckling a little.
"You seem a bit off today, no offense but we've barely heard you" Another one of your friend spoke with a concern look on her face.
They were all nodding, as you sighed.
You should probably just told them, theywere your closest friends and it's not like you could keep that to yourself anyway.
"Lando texted me" You blurted out looking down.
A loud silence followed your confession as you saw all their eyes widened in shock.
"I'm sorry WHAT ?" One of them finally spoke.
"Lando in like LANDO ?" Another continued.
And they all followed, throwing questions at you.
You showed them the conversation, way easier and they all gasped at the last text.
"What are you gonna do ? You should probably block him" Your friend said, they seemed tp all agree.
"Yeah I should do that" You nodded.
They were probably right, that was the best things to do. They were the one who had picked you up piece by piece when Lando broke up with you.
You were gonna do just that, blocked him and he would be out of your life forever.
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God you were so weak.
When you went home and were about to block him another text illuminated your screen.
"Sorry, I shouldn't have said that, you're not mad are you ?"
You swear your fingers had just moved on their own.
"I'm not mad, I was just busy sorry" You replied, and you knew you had fucked up, that needed to stop and yet you were encouraging him.
"I'm so relieved to hear that ! How you're doing ?"
Damn why was he answering so fast.
"Just casual life nothing too entertaining, you ?"
"Pretty much the same"
It was gonna be fine, it was a simple discussion between two young adults. Nothing to worry about.
"The paddock feels empty without you" He added.
Shit. This wasn't fine at all.
"Is that so ?" You were kicking your feet like a damn teenager.
"Yeah, can't win a race without you" You knew, and he knew this was border, but to be honest you weren't caring at all.
"Can't win a race at all" You joked, you were giggling. God you've missed talking to him, even for simple discussion like that.
You shouldn't felt that way, or you were gonna end up sad again, but you couldn't help it.
"OFFENSIVE" He texted back, but you knew he was laughing.
You and Lando kept talking for hours, you were smiling at your phone like a maniac.
He was such a good talker, smooth, funny, full of charm.
He knew how to annoy you and how to make you laugh the most. He also knew how to hurt you the most.
You were currently laying in bed, watching 'pretty woman' when you got another text from your ex boyfriend.
"I really do miss you tho"
Here you were again, staring at the screen like it contained the answer to the greatest mystery on earth.
"Lando, stop that please" You eventually texted back after a few minutes.
"That what ?"
"That thing that you're currently doing, trying to make me pity you"
"Is it working ?"
"Lando..."
"Cmon y/n I'm serious, I fucking miss you, every minute of every day"
You were no longer paying any attention to the movie that was still playing on the screen of your laptop.
"YOU chosed to broke up" You remembered him.
"I know I made a damn mistake, and I'm sorry"
"You know what I don't even want to talk you anymore"
"Y/n don't do that"
"I should have blocked you already"
"But you didn't"
You were infuriating, completly messed up by too many emotions at the same time, you were sad, and angry against him, and against you too cause you were so weak for this man.
He was right, you didn't.
"Babe please, I just want you back" He sent you a few minutes later since you weren't answering.
"Should have thought about that sooner, and don't call me that"
"I'd do anything" He insisted.
"Claim me on TV and I'll think about it" You texted saracstically before turning off your phone.
You and lando had never been public, because fans could be crazy at some times and you were finding it absolutly ridiculous to brag on social media that you were in a relationship.
That's why you had said that, that wasn't making anysense. Maybe now he'll understand that this was definitly over.
Or so you thought.
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When you woke up your phone was blowing up with notification.
A lot of demands on instagram and hundreds of texts from your friends.
You were so confused until you clicked on the link your friend had sent you.
It was an interview of Lando that he hade just done but the views were already so high. Why would she send you that ?
Everything become clear when right before ending the interview Lando spoke :
"Actually I want to say something before leaving, I used to date a girl Y/n Y/l/n, she was amazing but I messed up with her cause I was a complete idiot... So if you're ever seeing this please come back, I know I've been an asshole. But I really want you back"
What.
In.
The.
World.
Was.
Happenning.
You grabbed your phone and dialed his number immediatly... No answer.
"What have you done ???" You tyepd agressively on your keyboard completly freacked out.
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shogunish · 3 months
Text
𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘀𝗶𝘀.
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synopsis. “you made me feel like i was a threat to you.”
contents. a bit of angst, comfort, miscommunication/lack of communication, implied friends-to-lovers, soft! satoru, takes place after the star plasma vessel incident, satoru's trauma response, unedited, something i whipped up on a whim lmao
wc. 1.3k
note. had a sudden urge to write this when i watched dazai edits and i hope i'll find more inspiration to write like..i just wanna be consistent for once 🥲
comments and reblogs are highly appreciated! <3
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the inverted spear of heaven was no more.
the star plasma vessel incident — mainly toji fushiguro — had carved its mark into satoru’s flesh. after satoru had killed the man, he had made sure to destroy the cursed tool until not even ashes remained of the sharp blade that used to spill the blood of innocents.
it was almost like the sorcerer wanted to destroy the things that could destroy him.
however, he failed to notice how he had almost destroyed his relationship with you, too.
no longer did satoru wrap you up in his bear hugs. no longer did he let you rest your head on his shoulder on movie night. no longer were you welcome in his space.
always were you kept at an arm’s length. satoru was close enough to admire but so far out of reach like the constellation of stars dotting the night sky. what you thought was no more than a phase turned out to be so much more until, in the safety of your bedroom and underneath your blankets, your vision blurred with tears.
if the sun wasn't there, the moon would remain hidden in the vast void of space. and without satoru, you couldn't shine, either. in fact, your smile dimmed until it was almost extinguished by the pain satoru put you through — but it wasn’t his fault. or so you'd like to tell yourself.
satoru had danced with death when he was meant to only protect a girl.
you couldn't possibly blame him.
after all, you could neutralize the only thing that kept him safe.
the ability to nullify any cursed technique upon touch was as convenient as it was, literally, cursed. with zero offensive abilities, you always relied on satoru or suguru to cover for you in case your plans didn't work out. one miscalculation and your head would roll — that much you knew.
among every student attending jujutsu high, you were the weakest while satoru was the strongest.
it was enough to tie your fate to satoru, weaving a web of complicated feelings which usually tasted like those sugary gummy bears the sorcerer carried with him. it was sweet and warm like his embrace, but the blade of toji fushiguro had effortlessly cut through the fine webs. nothing but a cold void remained where laughter and silly inside jokes about digimon danced along the velvety threads.
almost like a black hole that swallowed the constellation in the skies, leaving behind broken galaxies and lonely stars that swallowed moons to fill the loss of their companions.
“he's so stupid,” you muttered to yourself, threw the teddy bear in your arms into the corner of your bed and sat up to blow your nose.
the teddy bear was a polar bear adorned with button eyes and a red bow tied around its fluffy neck. it looks like you, you had mindlessly said during last year's summer festival. satoru had spent the entire evening shooting little rubber ducks to earn enough points to win the silly bear, but it was worth it for your eyes lit up like the fireworks that followed soon after.
the clock read two am when you poured boiling hot water into a cup of instant ramen, ripped open the package of spice and stirred the meal with disinterest written all over your face. not even the scent of cheap cup noodles made your tummy growl anymore. how could it when it was so full of dread, guilt and worry for the sorcerer who stole your heart and refused to give it back? it was an unfair bargain, really.
just a moment later, you heard a knock on your door. you considered ignoring it and pretending to be asleep, but alas, the lights were on and likely snuck through underneath the crack of the door to your dorm. what kind of idiot knocked on your door at two am?
satoru — the only idiot who'd knock on your door in the middle of the night and look like a kicked puppy.
“satoru? it's two am..,” you spoke first, standing between him and the warmth of your dorm.
satoru didn't look like satoru. even through the pitch black glasses of his shades could you see the storm brewing in those sky-blues of his. with a sigh, he rubbed his neck. “why does everyone keep telling me how late it is? ah, no matter.”
you wanted to ask, but decided against it.
“look, i know it's late, but i can't help but think you've been avoiding me for the last couple of what? weeks? months?” satoru shifted his weight from one fuzzy slipper to the other. “was it something i said?”
in that very moment, you realized you were doing the same things as he was. as soon as class was over, you'd go home alone. you'd have lunch alone. you'd spend your weekends alone. all those things once were shared with satoru in your space, but as soon as he avoided you..you avoided him, too out of fear of getting hurt.
“satoru..don't you realize that you've been avoiding me first?” your voice was quiet as you hugged your middle. “ever since the incident and the destruction of that cursed tool, you always kept me at arm's length. you no longer let me get any closer nor do you spar with me anymore. nothing..”
“you made me feel like i was a threat to you.”
a painful epiphany coiled in satoru's stomach like a snake. was he so busy destroying the devil's tools and refining his technique that he..forgot about about you? the person who'd steal his fries and snore on his shoulder on movie night? no, no way. he would never see you as a threat even though your touch could dissolve his infinity like sugar when it touched water.
“[name], that's not..” the words got stuck in his throat. for the first time in his life, he was speechless. “you are anything but a threat.”
“then why..” tears brimmed your eyes until they overflowed, ran down the apples of your cheeks and met the warmth of satoru’s thumb. it was not his stupid infinity wiping the tears away, but satoru himself.
to be touched by satoru felt like the first sunrays of spring gracing your skin. warm, familiar and hinting at the end of a long, unforgiving winter that had taken root in your belly. soft sobs bubbled in the back of your throat, rocking your shoulders and interrupting every word you wanted to say; how stupid he was, how much you missed him, how much you needed him.
“shh..say no more,” satoru whispered and took you in his strong arms so you could sob into his chest all you wanted.
satoru didn't care about the tears or snot wetting his shirt. all that mattered was the feeling of you in his arms, and even though it pained him to know that he caused those tears, this was better than receiving your cold shoulder and dismissive smiles.
quietly, you and satoru went back inside the warmth of your dorm where both of you shared some cheap cup ramen which satoru spiced up with some peppers, egg and a conversation which neither of you would remember in the morning to come. no amount of time seemed to have passed between you as you both laughed, bickered and exchanged glances like lovers-to-be would.
“what are you doing?,” you asked, long comfortable underneath the sheets of your bed — or you would be if satoru didn't hold them up and almost looked offended by your words.
“sleeping with you, duh,” he said like it was the most normal thing in the world and maybe it was.
ignoring your protests and pouts, satoru crammed himself into bed with you, one arm around your waist and the other one underneath your head. his broad chest gently pressed against your back, his warmth enveloped you like a blanket.
“you're stupid,” you smiled to yourself while a blush as red as roses crept up your cheeks.
“and you're lucky i love you,” satoru grumbled underneath his breath, blowing some strands of your hair away from his nose and mouth so he wouldn't suffocate while holding you so tight.
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taglist. @torusmochi, @cinnamonmon
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qlossytbh · 11 days
Text
𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐰𝐨 - 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐬𝐨𝐧
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𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 you get an unexpected visitor at headquarters after one of your old high school friends was murdered and rossi has ideas as to how to catch the killer.
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 usual criminal minds content, mentions of killers, mentions of a phsycotic killer :D, mentions of murder, mentions of underage drinking (if i’m missing anything pls let me know)
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 4.4k
𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 we’ve finally got our first flashback ;) i know it’s kinda slow but we will get more spencer x you content in the next chapter, pinky swear. also this is kinda wordy but whatever
𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭
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"Come on, it's not that bad!" You smiled, pushing at Spencer's shoulder as he took a sip of your coffee, face screwing in disgust. "You're such a baby."
"No," He disagreed, voice hoarse as he handed you your coffee back. "That is disgusting."
"Just because it doesn't have about 3 pounds of sugar," You taunted, looking down at his mug with disapproval. "All that sugars gonna' catch up to you one day you know."
"Actually," He started and you felt yourself beginning to groan. "White sugar is a type of carbohydrate that provides energy to the body so what happens is the body breaks down sugar into glucose that can be readily used for energy and to carry out various functions. It improves brain functioning—"
"Spence, it's eight in the morning," You said, resting your forehead on his arm. "As much as I care about you, you are not allowed to go wikipedia on me at this time."
He stifled a laugh, glancing down at you with a soft smile. He took no offense to what you were saying since he knew your favorite thing was to listen to him. You pulled away, taking a sip of your coffee. You looked up at him, opening your mouth to speak but being abruptly interrupted as the kitchen door burst open, causing you to jump and stain your white blouse with coffee.
You looked down at the shirt, hissing in complaint. "Are you fucking—"
You turned, face twisted with anger. Spencer shrank at your demeanor looking over at the door to see who was about to receive the latter end of your anger. He took a sip of his own coffee when he saw  Derek standing by the door. The anger in you began bubbling even closer against the surface. "Really Derek?!"
Just as you were about to scold him even more for being such a brute at eight am, you noticed the features in his face laced with an all too familiar tensity. Realization dawned upon you. He started "Looks like we've got a visitor,"
You watched him, glancing briefly back at Spencer before setting your mug down. "And they're asking for you."
The case currently at hand, although pinching a little too close to your past then comfortable, wasn’t overwhelming you. It made you fidgety and a little more anxious than usual, sure, but you weren't overwhelmed by it. All it did was irritate you, how you always tried so hard to keep your past out of your present, and the present away form the past.
All you wanted, was to find the UnSub and move on. Still, you sighed heavily, popping out of the nice bubble Spencer and you had isolated yourselves in. You left your coffee mug long forgotten as you followed Morgan out of the room and across the hall, Spencer following very closely behind.
"A girl who barged in here, asking for you," Derek explained. You continued your stride across the hall, wondering who could possibly be asking for you. "She said she doesn't wanna' answer any questions until she's spoken to you,"
"Does it have to do with our recent case?" You asked, knowing otherwise but still hoping the answer was no. When Derek's lips pulled into a tight line, you sighed in disappointment letting your shoulders slump. Just as you rounded the main hall, you saw a familiar mop of red hair ranting at Hotch in a blazing fury. You froze in your tracks, almost causing Spencer to knock into you. You watched as she pointed her finger at Hotch, stress, and anxiety written all across her face.
"Claire..?" You said, voice barely above a whisper. All the anger in her face untwisted as she turned to you, her features suddenly soft and all too familiar. She hadn't changed a bit in the ten years you haven't seen her.
"Oh my god," She said, relief flooding her voice as she rushed over to you, pulling you into a tight hug. You remained still, not reciprocating the affectionate gesture as Hotch eyed you from behind her with a questioning look. You shrugged slightly at him, remaining completely neutral.
"I can't believe it," She said, voice soft as she pulled away, grabbing you by your shoulders. You noticed the eye bags and the panicky look in her eyes and suddenly things started clicking for you.
Back in high school, you, Easton, and Claire had been each other's rocks, always going everywhere together and relying on each other greatly. The three of you were best friends and you had been for all four years of high school. After what happened during and after your senior year, you fell out with the two of them and continued your advanced studies, not necessarily making any time to ever see both of them again.
Claire had always been the mediator in the trio. You always felt closer to her than you ever did to Easton. Claire always listened, and she gave the right advice when you needed it. You would've loved staying friends with her after highschool, but since she was so close to Easton, it remained impossible. You'd be lying if you said that seeing her again after all this time didn't tug at the strings of your heart in the slightest.
"You haven't changed a bit," You said, giving her a small smile. She did look the same, all of her sharp features still in tact the same way they were back then. There was a silence. She looked behind you momentarily and you turned, realization hitting you. "Shit, uhm—“
You turned, causing her hands to fall from your shoulders. "This is SSA Derek Morgan, SSA Aaron Hotchner and Dr. Spencer Reid,"
You introduced everyone, pointing at each of your co-workers referringly, to which each responded with a small nod or smile. Her gaze lingered on Spencer, who stood closely beside you. She smiled politely at them all, apprehension still laced in her gaze.
"It sucks that our reunion has to be under such shitty circumstances," She laughed, hugging herself protectively. The humor hadn't quite reached her eyes which caused you to shoot her an empathetic look.
"How are you holding up?" You asked. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. She sighed heavily, reaching up to cover her face with her hands. She shook her head.
"I cant believe any of it," She sighed, looking like she hasn't had a single ounce of sleep in days. "It seems like just yesterday she was coming back from her honey moon and now, she just—“
You felt for her, you really did. Even if you and Easton had your own history, you knew her and Claire remained great friends after high school. You didn't know they had still been friends after all of these years though. "Were you at the wedding?"
"I was her maid of honor,"
Oh,
"We're very sorry for your loss," Spencer added. You looked over at him, smiling sadly and appreciating his efforts to be empathetic with her. You reached out, rubbing the side of her arm. She smiled at the two of you weakly. "I'm sure this is all extremely hard on you."
She reached up, rubbing her eyes rapidly, as if trying not to get sensitive in front of everyone. It was understandable, suddenly being surrounded by people she had no clue of, and losing someone close to you is not easy and it could be very overwhelming.
You looked over at Hotch before starting. "We're trying our hardest to figure out who could have done this to them,"
"Do you mind coming in for some questioning?" You asked. Claire looked over at Hotch apprehensively, clearly not approving of him.
"We think you can help us determine if there was anyone that may have wanted to intentionally hurt Easton and Michael—" You explained, trying to ease her up. "—And Sarah and Adam.."
She sighed heavily, nodding her head with acceptance "Yeah, that's fine.."
"I promise, we'll catch up afterward," You smiled as Hotch and Morgan guided her towards one of the interrogation rooms. You watched her intently as she walked away. With a beat, you looked down at your watch, huffing quickly and furrowing your brows.
"Must be hard for her," You stated. Spencer took notice of how unbothered you seemed, and he didn't skip out on calling you out.
"And what about you..?" Spencer asked curiously, shoving his hands into his pocket and staring you down from his spot next to you. You turned to him, tilting your head.
"What?" You asked.
He shrugged, looking to the side momentarily. "For a case hitting so close to home, it would be normal for this to affect you,"
You pursed your lips and responded truthfully. "It doesn't,"
Spencer looked you in the eye and did what he always tried doing when he suspected something was up with you. He tried profiling you, something that with time, you knew how to fight against, especially when it came from Spencer. His brows crinkled with a familiarity that was only present when he was worried about you. You reached up, rubbing your thumb against the furrowed skin of his brows and smoothing it out gently. "You worry too much."
"Haha." He shoved your hand away as you snickered to yourself. You were glad that with everything going on, you could still find the time to laugh. Spencer made that very easy.
"You," You reached up to link your arms with his as you began dragging him down the hall, all the way to Garcia's office. "Are going to accompany me to visit our lovely technical analyst,”
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You watched as both Easton and Claire downed whatever drink it was they had in their hands, music blaring loud and people waltzing around intoxicated at every turn you made. Not completely sober, but not all that drunk either, you found yourself feeling as if yet another Friday night had gone to waste.
"Can you believe we're already seniors?" Easton cheered, throwing her hands around both you and Claire. You stifled a laugh at her slurred voice, knowing the hangover she was bound to have tomorrow was going to be brutal.
"This year is going to be absolutely insane," Claire said, excitement laced in every syllable of her voice. You rolled your eyes and cringed internally, swirling your drink in your hands and debating whether or not you should throw it out since you weren't really in the mood to drink anymore.
You knew you had to get a lot of studying done tomorrow because you were taking some advanced courses that would get you ahead of certain subjects, effectively allowing you to finish the school year earlier and begin your college studies ahead of time.
You had always been very different from Claire and Easton, but you had never seen a problem with it. Claire cheered you on whenever you decided to focus on school work rather than go out on a Friday night, claiming that she could never have your willpower, but Easton always teased you and pushed you to 'let loose'. Of course, you went out with them sometimes, but you also knew when to stay in and focus on yourself, and you never saw that as a crime. It was like enjoying the best of both worlds.
Although lately, going out with Easton felt more like a chore than something you genuinely enjoyed doing.
"Are we finally going to attempt to loosen Y/n up?" Easton shouted over the blasting music, pulling you into a side hug. You laughed awkwardly, a very small feeling of annoyance bubbling in your stomach.
"Oh shush Easton," Claire slapped the girl's arm, rolling her eyes indefinitely. "We know Y/n is going to rock it this year in her own special way."
"Shoving her face into a book isn't my definition of rocking your senior year," Easton added.
"Well shoving my face into someone else's twice a week isn't my definition of rocking my senior year, but you don't see me shaming you, huh?" You bit back, deciding to defend yourself rather than let her step on your toes for what felt like the fifth time this week. You and Easton worked like that. Sometimes it was complicated though, since it was hard to draw the line between teasing and passive-aggressive comments.
"Not my fault you're a prude," You sighed, crossing your arms as she let you go. That's the complicated line you were talking about. Claire shot a disapproving look towards Easton.
"I'm kidding!" She shrugged innocently, holding her hands up in defense. "But like seriously, isn't there anyone that sparks your attention? Not even a little bit?"
You sighed once again, knowing this conversation was popping up. Easton was a very 'out there' person, to say the least. She had a very bad habit of agreeing to hook up with any 'hot man' that breathed. And being part of a private school, everyone seemed to be connected to everyone, somehow. If someone didn't know your business, it was someone else's personal goal that they did, and so the story goes on. And for some peculiar reason, Easton was very vocal and passionate about the fact that you didn't throw yourself at anything that breathed.
"No Easton,"  You set your drink down on the small stool that was available right beside you, not in the mood to drink at all anymore. "Just like I said last time you asked me."
"What about Henry? He seems cool," She pursed her lip in thought. Claire's face twisted with disapproval.
"Henry's a total jerk," Claire warned. Easton sighed in defeat and began scanning the room attentively. You watched her, unamused and annoyed, up until her face popped with excitement.
"Wait a second," She said, reaching out for your arm and pulling you in closer to whisper. "What about the guy in white, over by the kitchen aisle that's practically drooling at the sight of you?"
You deadpanned at Easton but looked in the direction she pointed to anyway. As you looked over, your eyes suddenly fell on a man in a white-clad t-shirt, who was in fact, looking over at you with deep curiosity. You suddenly, for the first time in who knows how long, felt nervous under the gaze of a man. He smiled at you softly from the other point of the room, to which you uncontrollably returned and your heart flipped inside your chest. Just as you opened your mouth to protest, the man began making his way over to the three of you.
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You had spent all afternoon skipping through file after file and picture after picture with Garcia and Spencer, while Hotch and Morgan interviewed Claire. Rossi, JJ, and Prentiss called you every few hours to dump more newly acquired information on the victimology report based on what they were seeing over at the crime scene. Your brain was practically about to melt out of your ears. The comfort of the conference room chair seemed overwhelming once you sat down, finally giving your back a break.
Claire had left headquarters just only a few hours ago which now left you all to lay out and create a new profile. Everyone sat at the table until Hotch and Morgan walked into the room.
"We've interviewed Claire Thomspon for more accurate victimology reports and further insight on our Unsub's possible motives for killing both pairs of victims," Morgan stated, rubbing his chin absentmindedly. "Claire declared that Easton had various romantic and sexual relations during high school and every relationship she started was as soon as she ended a previous one,"
"So enraged ex that most probably wanted revenge?" Prentiss said.
"But then what connection would Sarah and Adam have to the murders?" You asked, furrowing your brows in contemplation.
"His murdering methods reflect his psychological state and motivations. For example, if he meticulously plans and execute his killings with precision and calculation, which clearly isn't the case here, it could suggest a need for control and dominance, but since his methods are more frenzied and impulsive, it could indicate overwhelming emotions, and a lack of impulse control." Spencer explained, looking over at you. You nodded, glancing down at the file report and scribbling something across the side of it.
"Meaning Sarah and Adam could've just been collateral damage," You finished, looking back up at him from your seat across him. He nodded.
"If this is revenge, the Unsub may experience, intense feelings of powerlessness, and a need to exert control over others as a way to cope with his emotional pain. Slaughtering married couples could serve as a twisted form of retribution symbolizing the perceived betrayal and abandonment he experienced." Spencer continued, hands dancing around freely, something that always happened when Spencer talked on like this, he was very expressive with his hands.
"By targeting couples, he may be projecting his own feelings of envy and resentment towards those who have found happiness and stability in their relationships." You completed, giving Spencer a proud smile.
And this is exactly why Hotch thinks the two of you work best together, it’s as if your minds were synchronized and every blossoming thought was finished by the other.
"Do we have any leads?" JJ asked.
"We've asked Garcia to pull up some names of people who have a past with Easton." Morgan explained with ease, you looked down once again.
"That's gonna be a long list," You mumbled, low enough for anyone to hear.
It was true though. You weren't shaming her for sleeping around. It was simply a reality that she broke a lot of egotistical men and saw having sex with them as a way of feeling good about herself. You even heard her say once that 'men were just trophy's waiting to be collected by her'. It worked, she felt amazing about herself, and she truly had any man she ever wanted.
"So what would you say our profile is?" Rossi finally spoke up, being awfully quiet as he silently drew his own conclusions.
Hotch began. " We're looking for a 27-year-old male with an unremarkable, physical appearance, something that allows him to blend in with the general population."
You allowed yourself to think back on your past, dwelling if you remembered anyone that might fit the Unsub report.
"He maintains a fit or athletic build which helps him overpower his victims and he leads a relatively solitary existence, avoiding social interactions." He continued in a serious demeanor. "He exhibits narcissistic tendencies with a sense of entitlement, believing that he deserves attention or admiration. He's adept at manipulating others and his actions may be driven by impulsive, completely disregarding consequences, leading to reckless behavior."
"He also harbors a severe paranoia, showing irrational fears and suspicion leading to a heightened sense of vigilance and a tendency to see threats where non-existent." Morgan said, closing off as he sat back down into a chair. Rossi pursed his lips in thoughts.
That described about half of your class though— unfortunately. You rubbed your temples, lowering your head and processing the information, trying to rack your brain on anyone viable who gave you 'serial killer vibes' back in the day. You looked back up, and turned your gaze towards Hotch, opening your mouth to speak
"So wait, if our UnSub presents a lack of impulse control, couldn't that mean that he could strike again even if Easton is dead?" You asked. Hotch nodded and you felt your hands begin to grow clammy.
"We asked Garcia to pull out the names of the couples that have been married in the last year or so from the class of North Virginia High School,"
"How many married high school sweethearts are there in one graduating class?" Emily asked, looking over at you in disbelief. You leaned back in your chair and scoffed.
"Our class was compared to an orgy," You stated, an unamused stance settling your gaze. "That says enough,"
You couldn't even count all the people in your class that had either hooked up, had sex, got together or got married, with your two hands. You never understood what the desperation was at the time, apart from the raging hormones— and its not like your class was full of A-list celebrity lookalikes.
Easton had always wanted you to have your fair share of hookups with the guys in your class, but you had fortunately settled your low scale of bodies on a whooping number one. 
"So, we just—" Emily's brows were furrowed deeply. "—wait until our Unsub shows signs of attacking one of our couples?"
Everyone waited for an order. You didnt believe that was the smartest idea, because yet another two people could possibly end up killed if you didnt play your cards right. You felt uneasy as you waited for Hotch to put together a plan that you could all follow, but he even he was struggling to decide how to love on. Suddenly, Rossi's voice cuted through the air.
"No, that would be stupid." He hummed, narrowing his eyes in deep contemplation. "We need someone from the inside."
You stopped, peering intently at Rossi as you gave Morgan a quizzical look, slightly stupefied by Rossi's sudden intervention. He shrugged his shoulders at you, clearly just as lost as you were. Sometimes, it was hard to follow along with Rossi's thought process, which was surprising to say the least, since you completely understood Spencers.
"We could use you, as a decoy," He said, cutting his gaze over to you and pointing a finger. You froze in your seat, shrinking at the sudden call out. You choked on your own breath, being completely taken off-guard by him. Not because you didn't have it in you to go undercover but because—
"Uh—" You cleared your throat, coughing once or twice. "Sir, I'm not married..."
"Yet." Was all Rossi said.
You tilted your head, truly not getting a single word coming from this man's mouth "Come again?"
Everyone shared dumbstruck looks. When you looked over at Spencer, he was just as confused as you were. You shared a silent conversation but all you could answer with were confused shrugs. Hotch looked ahead, suddenly seeming to grasp onto Rossis implications.
"You mentioned Claire was still in contact with many of your ex-classmates, right?" Hotch asked. You pursed your lips, blinking slowly and turning to him.
"Uh, yeah, she mentioned something like that earlier—"
"So then you lure the Unsub in," He stated, explaining what Rossi's brilliant mind was getting at. You closed your mouth and narrowed your eyes just ever so slightly. "You and Reid go undercover as a newly wed couple, and you lure the Unsub in, making yourself the next posible target."
Your mind screeched to a halt as you straightened up in your chair. Suddenly, Spencer was heard choking on his own breath in his seat in front of you. You felt your minds racing hit a brick wall, silence and stillness hitting every fiber of your body. "You want me to—Huh..?"
You weren't even quite sure how to process anything that had just been said. Questions began dawning at you, because one, why you? And why Spencer? And why together— as a married couple?
"It'd be a complex operation, that would include meticulous planning but," Rossi suddenly pulled out papers and began scribbling down. "Comprehensive security measures would be implicated, and with Claire in the mix, you two can find ways to get yourselves to interact with the high schools graduate community and it's very probable that the Unsub, is baited in, especially with Y/n being an ex-classmate."
"Actually," Emily started, looking between you and Spencer, who both shared the exact, red painted look on both your faces. "Thats not a bad idea."
"Wait, wait— You want me, to go undercover as a married couple, with Spencer..?" You asked again. It all started slowly falling, like dominos. You finally allowed your minds gears to rear back into movement as you shook your head slightly.
"Yes,"
Pretending to be a married couple implicated everything being a married couple was. And Rossi was implying, that you pretend to be a married, romantic, madly in-love, head-over heels about each other, couple with— Spencer? Which meant living in the same house, sharing the same things, going everywhere with each other, hugging, touching, kissing, sharing the same bed?—
Okay, now you were overthinking it.
You felt a sudden patter in your chest, that traveled all the way to your skull and through your ears, pressing against your throat. You felt heat rush to your cheeks at just the thought of all of that, and if you weren't mistaken, you could've sworn you felt your stomach flip in circles.
Spencer was your best friend yet why did this feel so incredibly exposing..?
"If you think about it, Reid and Y/l/n would be the only ones able to convincingly portray a married couple..." JJ shrugged. You glared over at JJ wondering what the hell she meant by that.
Suddenly, things were moving all too quickly and all too suddenly. You dared yourself to look over at Spencer who was surprisingly, in the same shaken up state that you were. His cheeks were glowing red, and something in his gaze was silently speaking to you. You looked back at him, feeling an unfamiliar uncertainty begin to nip at you. You were too scared to speak up, and for the first time, you truly couldn't read a single thought behind those hazel eyes you had grown to care about so deeply.
"I—uhm," You said, voice hoarse and weak. "You really think this is a good idea?"
"I think it's our closest shot at catching this guy without anyone else getting hurt." Rossi stated.
"But we only do it if the two of you are a hundred percent willing to do so," Hotch reminded. You looked back at Spencer, not knowing what to think, or what to say, or what to do. His gaze relaxed, in constrast to your panicky one, and he gave you a small nod of encouragement. You swallowed thickly.
He looked over at Rossi, nodding slowly. "Okay, we'll do it."
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𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 @yondiii @r-3dlips @moonchildohh @rubyirene @sp3ncelle @alisyacsa @pleasantwitchgarden @landooscurls @chonkybonky
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fandomxpreferences · 1 year
Text
Kiss For Kiss, Heart For Heart (Part 3 of Heartbroke Bitch)
Series Masterlist
Pairing: Rafe Cameron x female!reader
TW:18+, smut, spitting, choking, angst, fluff, mention of depression, I think thats it?
Summary: Rafe is working overtime to win you back, and you fully intended on putting him in his place. Really you did, but whats a girl to do when she's peering into those blue eyes?
Word Count:3.2k
A/N: Rafe Cameron has a kink for spitting in your mouth and I will die on this hill
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Your eyes burn as they flutter open, swollen and red from incessant crying. It's been a week since the incident with Rafe and though you've ended your bender, it's been replaced with a depressive episode that has reduced you to a permanent fixture on your bed. 
The mattress has all but absorbed your body, only relinquishing its hold when you have to use the bathroom or eat to avoid passing out. JJ has been the most attentive member, the rest of them deciding to give you space. 
The blonde practically force-feeds you, and after four days he all but waterboarded you while shoving you into the shower.
Rafe has stopped by a couple times, only to be turned away by your friends. He's persistent though, sending texts every night until you finally just shut your phone off. 
Your body aches from being stagnant for so long and you heave a sigh before prying yourself from beneath the warm comforter to face the world. You take your time, feet dragging as if boulders are attached to them as you make your way to the door. 
You pad down the hallway, not bothering to fix your tangled hair or wrinkled clothes, and stop when you see everybody talking. John B notices you first and everyone quickly follows his line of sight. 
"She lives!" 
JJ practically tackles you to the ground in a hug and you can't help the small smile that creeps onto your features. The rest of the Pogues follow suit and before you know it, you have five sets of arms squeezing the air out of you. 
"Okay, okay! I'm alive but I won't be for much longer if you don't let me breathe." You laugh, and JJ's face lights up at the sound. 
You've barely spoken, let alone shown any joy, and he's elated that you seem somewhat like your usual self. They all let go and John B wrinkles his nose. 
"I love you, but you stink. Go shower."
You put your hand over your heart in mock offense but don't object before following his orders. 
The hot water is healing as it rains down on you, and you tilt your head back to soak it in. You take a while, making time to exfoliate and shave. The sweet smell of your usual body wash fills your nostrils and you savor it. 
Truthfully, you were getting tired of the expensive perfumes that smelled like someone you don't recognize and it's comforting to have your usual scent back. It's the first time you've felt like you're in your own skin, and it makes you grin. 
You're clad in an oversized t-shirt and shorts as you trek back to the porch, scrunching your hair with a towel to wring out the water. You stop in your tracks when you see someone walking away and a very confused JJ holding a massive vase of flowers. 
Your eyebrows pinch together as you make your way over and pluck the card that's poking out of the bouquet. 
'Pretty flowers for a pretty girl. -R'
You can't help the shocked expression that befalls you and show an expectant JJ the card. 
"Want me to toss them?"
You shake your head with a sigh and place them on the counter. You're met with another text that night asking if you liked the gift, but choose to ignore it. 
A week later, the flowers are wilting and you're met with a fresh replacement. You shake your head at the gesture and read the card. 
'Please don't forget me and what we had. -R'
Gifts from Rafe weren't a rare occurrence by any means, he spoiled you with expensive items all the time. It was common for him to see a diamond necklace or expensive dress and get it for you. 
But the next few days are a whole new level of love bombing. Every day, you're met with a new package. One day it's a diamond bracelet, the next a new designer robe, followed by a new bag that you know costs more than a used car. 
It's when you open an envelope to an all-inclusive resort vacation he booked that you reach your breaking point. 
"Okay, this is fucking ridiculous."
You stand with a huff and everyone looks up with a frown as you stalk toward the door. 
"Where are you going?"
You look over your shoulder at JJ and grab the keys to Twinkie. 
"To put an end to this."
You storm out before he can reply and you vaguely hear John B call out after you. 
"Sure, take the Twinkie. I don't mind."
You're fuming the entire drive to Tannyhill, set on giving Rafe a piece of your mind. Who the hell does he think he is trying to win you back by flaunting his wealth?
Rafe is already outside when you come screeching into the driveway, and he looks up with a smile when he sees it's you. His smile only grows when he sees your agitated demeanor, and he crosses his arms over his chest. 
He's always thought you were cute when mad, and watching you march across the yard toward him is downright adorable. He's got a considerable amount of height over you, and your head turns up to glare at him as your small hands shove against his broad chest. 
He barely moves and you refrain from stomping your foot like a child throwing a tantrum. 
"Who the fuck do you think you are?" 
Your finger is pointed in his face as you shout, and the way his eyes shine with adoration almost makes you slap him in his stupid pretty face. 
"What do you mean?"
He knows exactly what you mean, but you yelling at him is hot and he wants nothing more than to keep it coming. 
"You can't buy my love and attention, Rafe!"
He bites back a remark about how it worked for the other men and shrugs his shoulders. 
"Wasn't trying to. Just because we're not together doesn't mean I can't spoil you."
His smile is smug and you stare up at him dumbfounded. You're chest to chest now, your lungs heaving air in and out. 
"That's exactly what it means. How am I supposed to explain that to my next boyfriend? 'Oh, these are just my daily gifts from my rich ex, no big deal.' That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!"
His face falls at the mention of a new boyfriend and he steps impossibly closer to you. You try to ignore the way his cologne envelopes your senses or his breath that smells like spearmint fanning across your face. 
"When are you going to stop acting like we're not meant to be together?"
His voice is low and you suppress the shiver that runs up your spine. You roll your eyes hard enough to see stars momentarily and scoff. 
"When are you going to stop acting like we are meant to be together?"
Your tone is harsh as you snap at him, but it does nothing to deter him. 
"When it stops being true. You know that no one else can give you the life I can. I'm the only one that knows how to make you tick, the only one that can make you so happy you could explode."
Your eye contact doesn't waiver and you catch the flash of hurt when you bite out your response, regret flooding you. 
"No one else can make me so miserable that I cry myself to sleep and angry enough to throw lamps at their head either."
The two of you stay there for a second just staring each other down and panting, willing the other to break first.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. For the fighting, for the drugs, for the violence. I didn't love you the way you deserve, and I will regret that for my entire life."
For the first time, you're shocked into silence. Words seem to evade you as you soak in his apology. In a year of dating Rafe, not once has he shown remorse or taken accountability for his actions and how they affected you. 
You search his face for any sign of deceit, yet all you find is genuine sorrow and guilt. 
"I'm so sorry for all the pain I caused, and the danger I put you in with no regard for your feelings or safety. You stuck by me through it all, and I had the nerve to cast you aside. I'm not good with emotions, but for you, I'll try my damnedest."
Your silence and the contemplative look on your face scare him and he's just about to beg you to speak when your lips smash against his. 
He freezes for a second before melting into you, his muscles rippling as he crushes you against his firm body. After a second your brain catches up to your body and you recoil. 
His face carries so much love and hope that you find yourself believing him and sigh. You might regret this, but you know for certain that you'll spend the rest of your life wondering if you don't allow him to prove himself. 
"This is your last chance, Rafe. I mean it. No more fighting with my friends, no more yelling, no more drugs. Being away from you made me realize how much I was holding onto your potential instead of what's in front of me, and I can't do these games with you anymore. It's either all in or all out."
He doesn't hesitate before spinning you around and burying his face into your neck. He notices your usual strawberry shampoo and coconut body wash and feels like he's home. 
"No more. I promise. I'll do right by you this time. Losing you made me realize that I can't breathe without you in my life and I never want to feel that way again. I'll be better for you, for myself."
You nod into his shoulder and he pulls you into a searing kiss. His hand taps the back of your thighs and you follow his signal to jump, your legs wrapping firmly around his waist. 
He doesn't spare a second, carrying you inside and straight to his bedroom. He lays you gently on his bed and you rejoice at the familiar sensation of his sheets on your skin and body weight on top of you. 
He moves slowly, not wanting to rush you, as his lips leave a trail of fire down your neck and onto your cleavage. Every movement is deliberate, and you release a throaty moan when you feel his warm hands envelop your waist. 
You're not as patient though, and hastily yank his shirt over his head to toss it somewhere in the room. He seems to take the hint and follows suit. In a matter of a couple minutes, you're both naked under his comforter, bodies sharing heat and writhing in unison. 
Sex has always been second nature with Rafe. It seems the two of you are always in sync, anticipating each other's moves with ease. His cock rubs against your folds and you buck your hips up to try and gain more friction. 
"Slow down, pretty girl. I want to savor this. You know I'll take care of you." 
A whine slips past your lips and you pinch him when you feel him smirk against your throat. Rafe has always been a tease, he loves to rile you up to the point of begging before giving in to his desire. 
"Rafe, I swear to god if you don't fuck me in the next ten sec-"
You're cut off by a moan when he thrusts into you sharply, his pelvis hitting yours as he seats himself inside you fully.
"What was that, princess?"
You can't bring yourself to think of a smartass remark; your brain and body are overwhelmed by the feeling of him hitting your sweet spot.
In the span of your little bender, you found yourself comparing every man to Rafe and not a single one of them was able to fuck you right or draw out the sweet sounds he does with minimal effort. 
Your head falls back onto his pillow when he pulls out only to slam into you again and any remaining trace of thoughts are erased. He's all you can focus on. 
All your senses are consumed by him. His large hands that are wrapped around your thighs, pushing them to your chest so he can hit it at just the right angle only he can find. His cologne that smells like expensive whiskey and sweet tobacco making your head swim. His warm mouth sucking love bites onto every inch of exposed flesh they can reach. 
The taste of his tongue, a familiar flavor of gum mingling with afternotes of chocolate. The sound of him grunting right next to your ear, guttural moans choking him every few seconds. You missed everything about this, and suddenly everything else that's happened is forgiven and forgotten. 
Fucking Rafe is euphoric, an absolutely divine experience that you can't imagine never getting to experience again. He's sweet and rough at the same time, a perfect and mind-numbing push and pull of submissive and dominant. 
Nothing else exists in these moments, and you find yourself surrendering to him completely. Every touch and sound sends shockwaves through you, making your body buzz with excitement and pleasure.
You come to life beneath him, and it seems that your sole purpose for existing is to do this dance with him. He stares down at you, completely enraptured by the way your hair fans around your head like a halo, and zeroed in on the utter bliss of watching your mouth fall open to form a perfect 'oh'.
His pace is brutal as he fucks into you exactly the way you like, his body responding to yours in a way that can only be described as poetic. You fit together perfectly, the place your bodies conjoin coming together like puzzle pieces that have been searching for their match for eons. 
This is an out-of-body experience, two souls coming together in a way so beautiful and magical that you can't help but think the two of you have been together through many lifetimes. 
You cling to him as if he's the only thing keeping you from floating away, and in a way he is. He thinks you're breathtaking like this and makes a silent vow to never let you go again. 
Your hands find purchase on his back and he revels in the feeling of your perfectly manicured nails raking across his tan skin, no doubt leaving behind angry red scratches. Your voice is heavenly as delicious moans and gasps fill the room and bounce off the walls. 
The headboard crashes into the wall with rhythmic thumps, and at that moment Rafe decides the sound of wood on drywall mixed with his name rolling off your lips is his favorite song. 
Your chest arches into his as his fingers squeeze your throat with a delectable amount of pressure, and despite all the jewelry he's bought you, his hand is by far your favorite necklace. 
"Open your mouth, baby."
You do as he says without thinking, eager to please him in any way you can. You choke on a whimper when he spits into your mouth and a blissed-out smile carves itself into your face. 
Sex with Rafe is always filthy, and you know this is his way of making you his in every way known to man. It's a soul tie no doubt, but you figure your souls were intricately weaved together anyway. 
He shakes his head in complete awe at the woman he's in love with. The way you smile after he does something so raunchy drives him mad, but he loves it. He's insane in a lot of ways, but if having you like this is what drives him over the edge then he'll gladly wear the straightjacket. 
"Always so good for me. My perfect girl, I missed you so much. Missed your heart and body, missed the angelic sounds you make for me. I'm so in love with you."
His hand snakes its way into your hair and tugs at the base of your skull, desperate to have you so close your bodies simply morph together. You don't respond with words, you can't, so instead you kiss him with all the force and emotion you can muster. 
He knows it's your way of returning the sentiment. A testament to your unwavering love for him that even through the darkest times can never be fully extinguished. 
He can tell you're nearing the edge, your pussy pulsing around him and limbs quivering uncontrollably. He's right there with you, and when his arm wraps under your back with his hand gripping your shoulder to gain momentum, the two of you let go together. 
It's the eighth wonder of the world as you both succumb to the pleasure, teeth clashing and foreheads pressed together. Sweat drips down your faces as you both come back down to Earth, vision white and ears ringing. 
You're both disheveled with messy hair and flushed skin glistening, just basking in the afterglow. 
Rafe presses a tender kiss to your head before peeling his spent body away from you. You're paralyzed as you watch him go into the en suite only to return a few seconds later with a towel. 
He cleans you up and wipes your face before doing the same for himself, and crawling back into bed. You flop like a ragdoll as he maneuvers you so your head is on his chest, and the steady beat of his heart slowly brings you back to your senses. 
"I love you."
His voice is sultry, a significantly deeper octave after being consumed by the throws of passion. It drips like molasses, thick and slow. 
"I love you too." 
It comes out a raspy whisper, your throat raw from screaming so loud you're sure all of figure Eight could hear. You want to stay up to discuss your relationship and what the future holds, but the rise and fall of Rafe's chest as he breathes deeply lulls you into a meditative state. 
It's silent aside from your breaths and the sounds outside, and you can't bring yourself to break the solitude even if you could. You know there will be plenty of time to talk. 
These moments are almost holy to you, the musky smell of sex and arousal swirling around you. This room is inherently you and Rafe, the unique scent of strawberry and tobacco merging to create an aroma you wish you could turn into a candle. 
It's always bizarre to you how after committing downright sinful acts, the environment becomes something pure. It's something only you, Rafe, and these four walls know about. 
Your eyes sting as you fight off drowsiness, desperate to stay conscious and enjoy the feeling of being in his arms again.
Rafe seems to read your mind as his fingers trace up and down your spine absentmindedly, bringing a comfort only he can provide. 
"Go to sleep. We can go to dinner when we wake up."
As if all you needed was his permission, your eyelids flutter closed and a deep sleep overtakes you. Rafe lays awake for a little while longer, thinking of all the ways he can show you that you're the one he wants to spend his life with. 
Eventually, exhaustion becomes too strong and he drifts off, the two of you tangled together like vines.
@brooklynscherry-z @joselyn001 @writtenwordslover @craftyalmondghostflap @malfoytargaryen @dearreader03 @magnificantmermaid @disturbedbeautywrites
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catnipaddictt · 22 days
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I like you
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dbf!anakin skywalker x gn!reader
synopsis: Your dad's best friend comes round for dinner leading to some unspoken feelings being revealed
wc: 1.4k
tw: fluff, inappropriate age gap, kissing
comment: once again no beta reader so watch out for mistakes, this one goes out to @memoiich <3
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The smell of your dad's cooking filled the house as you made your way down the stairs from your room. From the extra pair of work boots at the entrance way you knew he was here. Entering the kitchen you see the ‘feast’ your father had placed on the kitchen countertop. Golden roast potatoes, tender meat, and colourful greens combined together for a symphony of smell. Your mouth watered just think about it. But it was nothing compared to when he walked inside. 
His golden curls fell around his face like a halo, making his blue eyes stand out. With him he brought the smell of cigarettes and car oil, something you were used to by now. Something you sought comfort in. You have known Anakin Skywalker for a number of years now. He and your father had been friends ever since you two had moved towns. After your parents divorce you and your father had packed up and left that life behind. A fresh start. 
That was 3 or so years ago now and you two haven't looked back since. You met Anakin in your last year of highschool and that's when your silly crush began. It started off when he began coming around more often for a drink. Which then turned into a weekly event. And then dinners. You definitely weren't complaining though. 
Saying Anakin was gorgeous would be an insult to him. He was perfect in your eyes. If only you were born early. Anakin, now in his 40s, had no business running around with someone as young as you. So you kept admiring yourself and the dairy you hid in your dresser.
He smiles upon seeing you “hey princess”. That nickname, one of the many he gave you, made you internally kick yourself. “oh hi Ani” you grab yourself a glass of ice cold water, feeling his eyes follow you. “Going to come join me and your old man?” He questions to which you nod, “wouldn't miss it.” You grab yourself a plate and serve yourself some food before waiting for him to grab another beer for himself. He follows you out the old sliding door onto the concrete patio. 
Plastic chairs sit around a circular wooden table, the side facing the wall occupied by your father. He greets you with a bright smile, making you feel guilty for harboring feelings for his friend. You pull out a chair against the side of the house before seating yourself in it comfortably. Anakin sits in the chair next to you. Placing your glass on the table, you half listen into the conversation happening between the two men. Something about Anakin's work as a mechanic. You hear your name being said, and feel Anakin tapping your leg under the table. 
“Not boring you to sleep are we?” he jokes, to which your father lets out a gruff laugh. “Of course not” you smile brightly at them before turning you attention to your father, “what were you saying?” 
“Anakin was just asking about your classes.” You turn to him before replying; “same old really, too much useless paperwork, not enough practical learning.” You had been attending the community college nearby for a fine arts course - something you had always wanted to do. Which also explained while you were living at home at the moment. “You should come by the garage for lunch someday, it's only a block or two away” Anakin speaks, “might be able to teach you a thing or two.” You roll your eyes playfully, “and get covered in grease? Yeah, no thanks.” 
Anakin fakes offensive before laughing it off. You continue eating your meal while your father starts talking about engines or something you don't completely understand. You try to focus on the conversation, but find it hard with Anakin right next to you. You can basically feel his laughter roll off him. You tell yourself off for thinking this way before getting up to put your plate in the dishwasher inside. Which is good timing as your father's work phone begins to ring loudly. He mouths a sorry before taking the call. 
“I'll come help you kid” Anakin says as he gets up and follows you inside. You place your dishes in the washer before turning around to meet Anakin's gaze. You look away quickly, moving to dash off to your room. But you are quickly stopped by Anakin's hand wrapping around your wrist. “Where are you running off to sweetheart?” He laughs and you turn a shade of red that you didn't think was possible. “Sorry” you blurt out quickly. “Something is wrong, you acting off today” he states, not as a question. “It's just class, I'm stressed” you try to play it off. “Okay, want to show me your work, I'm not artist, but I'm sure I could at least try to help.”
You nod and move your head in the direction of the stairs which lead to your room. You begin to regret your decision when you reach your door. If he doesn't think of you as a child now, he was surely about to. Opening the door to your room you are greeted by posters of singers and objects that hold too much sentimental value for you to get rid of. Your CD player makes music fill the room, you must have forgotten to turn it off before going to eat. 
He moves inside your room, looking at the walls. Even though you had known him for years, he had never been in this room, your sanctuary. He speaks before you do; “I know this artist” he mentions towards your CD player. “You know this?” You question. “I may be old but i'm not that old” he takes a moment before adding “and your dad mentioned you listened to them so I may have listened to a few albums” he shrugs. You let out a snort “I can't imagine you listening to this kind of music.'' He lets out a soft laugh before you hand him the piece you had been working in for school.
He takes a few seconds before he says “this is incredible, I knew you were good, but not this good” he looks at you as he compliments your work. “Oh thanks” is all you manage to reply. “Do you have any more I can see?” “Sure” you turn around to rummage through the pile of half done works on your desk. When you run around you almost jump out of your skin.
Anakin holds a small book in his hands. Your diary to be exact. You must have forgotten to put it back in its hiding spot. You try to take it from his hands but he doesn't let you. “Anakin please.” You beg him to give it up and back into your rightful hands.
After a few moments he places the book down on your bed gently before making eye contact with you. You immediately look away, embarrassed. Anakin either just read about a normal day or knows about your silly little schoolgirl crush on him. Guessing by his next action you guess the second option. 
He takes your face between his large rough hands, tough from years of work. You can smell his cologne as he moves his thumb against your cheek gently, like you might break. “Oh sweetheart” he tilts your chin up, forcing you to look at him. “I guessed but couldn't know for sure, '' he continued. “Your dad would kill me if he knew how I felt about his precious daughter” you blink at him confused. He seems to think for a split second before speaking; “fuck it, I like you” breath, “and I know I shouldn't” he acts before you can think. Leaning down and pulling you toward him, placing his lips on yours. 
You swear you feel fireworks erupt in your gut as he kisses you. You pull apart, breathing heavily. Anakin gives your hip a squeeze, “I should go before your dad starts to wonder.” Normally the mention of your father would cause feelings of guilt but you are still starstruck. Your only reply is a nod before he removes his hands from you. “Hey come by the garage tomorrow, okay?” Another nod from you. He moves to the door, shooting you a winning smile before he is gone.
You can't tell if that was the best or worst thing to happen to you. If one Thing was certain, Anakin Skywalker would not be leaving your mind anytime soon.
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maximumkillshot · 4 months
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I Can't Lose You-Part 12
Warnings: Tooth Rotting Fluff, mentions of doctors appointments, that's it!
Pairing: BangChan x Reader
Characters: All the boys except Chan, although Chan is mentioned, Reader
A/N: The reader needs a break!!! So here we are. This one is fluffy, it feels good to me. I hope you guys like it! Also, I am pretty sure I had two seizures in the last two days (At least). Thank you to everyone for being so patient. I will try to resume my Friday schedule. Thank you so much for your understanding and well wishes!!
ALL WORK IS UNDER ME AND MY BLOG. DO NOT TRY TO REPUBLISH OR STEAL MY WORK, AS THAT IS COPYRIGHTED UNDER ME AND IS CONSIDERED COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT WHICH IS A PUNISHABLE OFFENSE. 
ANY WORK THAT YOU SEE ON OTHER SITES THAT ARE MY WORKS PLEASE NOTIFY ME IMMEDIATELY.
I Can't Lose You Masterlist-CLICK HERE
Stray Kids Masterlist-CLICK HERE
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Bin POV:
“Everyone ready to go?” I asked. Early in the morning the psychiatrist came in to talk to Y/N. They asked me to come in for a few seconds with Han. They let us know that they really didn’t want her anywhere near the house and to stay with at least Han and I, but it was preferable for most if not all of us to be there for at least the first week. The trauma tied to the 3 Racha house is just too much at this point, the doctors were also worried about Chan making the recovery even worse than it already is. Y/N agreed wholeheartedly and with that she was given follow up appointments. Finally the latest blood tests came just before lunch and she was given a clean bill of health and an outpatient appointment for her OBGYN. Felix, Minho, I.N., and Hyunjin all went to the DanceRacha house to start prepping for us to head there. Felix texted me that he had a few surprises for her which made me smile, she needs a good surprise right about now. 
I’m still worried about Y/N. The DanceRacha dorms are a good option, but I know that for me, I still have memories tied to Chris there. I’m wondering if that is exactly what she is thinking. I can’t help but worry about it. “Remember the deal with the doctors is for you to be away from that house and with your support system. Are you sure you don’t want a place of your own? I want you to be comfortable as you heal.” 
“I don’t have the money for that,” Y/N smiled at me. It was a reassuring one, as if she could read my mind. She and I always had this connection. Whenever I was feeling down she would pop in to see how I was doing. 
I remember one time, it was maybe 3am and I was working on lyrics. They were risky, going double the speed of the song's beat, the technique is called ‘double time’ in rapping. Fast spitting rappers do it all the time, think Eminem and Busta Rhymes. It was my first time attempting it and I contemplated each and every syllable like a landmine. Writing it wasn't the issue, it was being able to deliver it while dancing. Those syllables take up a lot of air, not to mention the brutality that comes with dancing and singing at the same time. Our steps aren't insanely difficult, but they definitely take up oxygen like no one's business. So I'd get up, do push ups, jumping jacks, burpees, anything to get my heart rate up to about what it would be when performing, then I'd try to deliver the lines. Doing this is always painful, your body is screaming at you to stop talking, hunch over, and gasp for air. Obviously, we can't do that, so we try our hardest to build endurance. Some are like Chan, who sing while doing cardio (which is insane, by the way, I felt like I was dying when I tried it), some are like LeeKnow, packing on layer after layer of heavy clothing before and during dance practice, forcing the body to exert itself so much that when all of those layers are off, each movement and breath is a breeze (also insanity to do. It feels like working out in a sauna with a weighted, heated blanket on you). Me? I brute forced it. 
Anyway, Y/N noticed that I was really getting obsessed with these lyrics and doing them so that I was as close to the line of unhuman speed crossed with physical activity as possible. I'm the fastest rapper in the 4th generation and I wanted to show why I was. Y/N came into my room and said,“Binnie, you need to trust yourself. You know what's best, you have the best instincts I've ever seen. Remember, if you're about to dive in a pool, don't think about the height of the diving board, clear your mind, and jump in. Don't think, just do.” 
Even now, through all of this, you would think that a bond like that would be weakened, seeing her like that would make some pull away. It just brought me closer. I am in awe of her. The sheer will to live. The tenacity. The beauty in her broken parts know no bounds. It reminds me of ruins from ancient civilizations. Seeing the beauty in what was, and marveling at what is left. Only the strongest parts are left, the essence of that civilization. She is beyond anyone I've ever seen. Her capacity to love is beyond comprehension. 
That's why I am so happy to know her. To really know her. To be the person she reaches for, to ground herself. She trusts me to be there. And I will be. Simply because it’s an honor to love her. Money isn't an object for her. 
“Money isn’t a problem, would you like to be in a place of your own?” I asked again. I would spend my whole paycheck on her if I had the chance. She deserves to be spoiled.
“I still want to be at the other dorm, it’s familiar. For some reason I feel safe there. Is that okay?” She asked, looking at Seungmin. Little did she know that we had been talking about this for a bit before she woke up. We knew that pushing this topic on her would be too much, but at the same time, from what Seungmin told me, the doctors were never going to release her to the same house that Chris is in.
Seungmin chuckled, “Birdie, it’s not a problem, you have never not been welcome at my dorm, you know this,” he deadpanned. It is true…all of the boys over that house would get so excited as soon as they heard Y/N was coming over. They’d want to spend the entirety of the visit with her, a lot of the time they would start to pout if they felt she wasn't spending enough time with them. So when the idea came up their eyes lit up. Anywhere she goes, I'm not going anywhere. 
“Okay then it’s settled.” I smiled at her, combing a stray strand out of her face. I’m happy that she’s finally getting out of here. She has been through so much in such a short amount of time. She needs to be left alone. I am scared for her. I want her to be safe, and worries keep on popping in my head. How do I protect her? What if saesangs get a whiff that something is wrong? What if the company tried to force her to stay with Chris? What if she takes him back? That part hurt. Seeing how badly she was hurt simply because he was being an asshole. Simply because he treated a diamond like sand on a decrepit shore. The thought made me shake with rage as I looked at the woman in front of me, she looked at me with furrowed brows, that brought me back to her.
Y/N looked into my eyes at that moment, like she was tapped into my brain. She gave my hand a squeeze as she said, “Binnie? What's wrong, talk to me…” she shyly played with my fingers. Her touch was feather light given the bruises that formed on my knuckles. I wanted to tell her the truth about them. My impulse to be honest, making the words bubble in my throat. Right behind the truth of what I'm feeling.
I wanted to tell her I love you, I wanted to tell you for so long. The minute I met you I fell for you, your soft voice, your booming laugh, your corny jokes. All of it. Not just the you before but the you now. I know life is going to be hard for you, I want to be there. I want to stand next to you and catch you whenever you need to collapse. I will give you everything I have. You deserve to know what real love is. I know Chris isn't good for you. You don't need this pain, this heartache, you don't deserve to be treated like an option. You are the one and only person I ever loved and will continue to love for the rest of my life. I want you to be happy, and if it's not with me that's okay. I just want you to know that he isn't the only option. I am just one person, I am sure thousands of men would line up and down city blocks just to see you, let alone have a chance with you. Instead I said “ just thinking.”
There is a time and a place for everything. Telling her right now could confuse her more, make her feel like I just want something from her. That couldn't be farther from the truth. The only thing I want is for her to be happy. The fact that she has been used like this and thrown to the side, expected to all of a sudden tolerate the people that did that to her. 
I saw the opportunity to draw attention away and I took it as I said “Seungmin, you have everything?” “Yeah, we should be ready to go soon,” he said as he kept packing all of the random hoodies that were used as pillows when we stood overnight with her. It's been years since most of us slept in the same room as the others. Every few hours a nurse would come in to check on Y/N, sometimes startling her. Everytime that happened Seungmin and I would wake up. We aren't light sleepers in particular, but it was more reflexive than anything. The nurse would quietly remind her that she's safe and all of her boys are with her. No one is going to hurt or sneak up on her. It'd still take a little time for her to go back to bed. Seungmin and I would refuse to even close our eyes until her heart rate went back to resting and her body would be completely relaxed and limp. 
Now that things are starting to simmer down I am wondering why Seungmin had this reaction. He's been very strong through it all and he is even going against his nature of just observing. I am wondering what it is that I don't know. I just want to be filled in. Seungmin isn't known for physical affection, instead opting for annoying people he loves until they inevitably get closer to the edge of insanity. It's an odd way to show love, but Seungmin has never been known for traditional methods. 
So why is it that he’s calling her pet names and smiling at her that way? Did he always smile at her like that? It’s so comforting, almost endearing. More than anything she is sharing the look. Something definitely happened but I have no clue what. 
“Angel, you have all the appointments and all of that?” I looked back to her and she smiled at me saying, “Yup, I just want out of here. It’s been crazy. I just want to cuddle with my boys and watch a movie.” I could feel the sincerity in her words. 
It wasn’t too long after that when Han came with the wheelchair saying, “You’re chariot awaits.” I am still really worried about her. She still says the cramps are no joke. Her cravings are still everywhere too. When she asked the attending about it they explained that her body is still going to have those pregnancy cravings for at least a few more weeks. I could see the hint of sadness in her features when hearing that. The only thing I could imagine herself feeling is that it’s another reminder. A reminder of what could’ve been. 
On our way to the house I could feel her excitement ramp up. I could hear her giggles as she listened to the radio. She waited and bounced at the redlights. I looked behind me and I saw everyone else in the car smiling lopsidedly as she giggled. Y/N wasn’t known for very big displays of excitement unless it was for something that she really really wanted or missed having. 
I could see the color in her face, knowing that if Hannie and I didn’t do what we needed to do, this would not have been the case. Instead, I get to see her smile, feel her laugh a little more, and be thankful for every moment, I always was but now? It’s like I have a deeper love for her. She was already a part of me, but now she is like a vital organ, as odd as it sounds. 
As I was in my own thoughts I heard a song play, it was one that I knew she loved. Immediately I felt her hand grab mine, which was on the shared arm rest. Usually if she wanted the armrest she would just nudge me until I relented and shared, but this was different. She laid her arm on top of mine, her hand interlocking with mine as she sang along to the song. I couldn’t help but think it belonged there. Touches are a part of her expression of comfortability. It’s how she communicates, which I happen to know all too well. This had more weight to it somehow. She felt like she knew that no matter what she’d be safe. Which was and still is true.
When we pulled around the corner we were met with balloons in her favorite color on the doorstep. Her eyes lit up as she said, “What’s this?” I just shrugged as I said, “I don’t know, Lix told me that he was up to something but I didn’t really know what.” As soon as we parked Y/N bounced as she waited for one of us to come around and help her. 
I think that she was surprised at the fact that we had done anything, period. I know that she has a complex. She tends to feel like she isn’t worth the time. That was something that she told me in confidence one night. Every night she would cry herself to sleep for the better part of 2 and a half years. Hannie and I did not catch it until we started spending weekends with her. 
One night I heard whimpering from their room, when I knocked I heard sniffles. I gently pushed the door open, I found her curled in a ball, crying looking at her phone. When I asked her what was wrong she just handed me the phone. On it was a text thread. 
Y/N: hey are you coming home? It’s Friday and I wanted to watch a movie with you. Channie❤️: Not this again, Y/N. I’m working, I don’t have time for this. Y/N: You promised you’d take some days off every week, so you don’t burn out. You even said that those days are our days.  Channie❤️: Y/N the more you talk to me the longer I have to be in the studio. So you are causing me to be away longer because you can’t be patient.  Y/N: I haven’t seen you in weeks, Channie. You are always gone, I miss you and I feel alone… like you don’t care.  Channie❤️: bingo! You are right. I don’t care. My phone is getting turned off. Maybe then you’ll get the message that I don’t have time for you. Get some sleep, trust me, don’t wait up. 
I held her all night that night, I dried her tears as she clung onto me for dear life. Like I said before, her love language is touch, so to literally be starved of that for weeks from her husband made me feel enraged. More than anything, I wanted to make her comfortable. 
I wrapped her in a fluffy blanket of which I called ‘the Y/N burrito’. Then I picked her up while she giggled and placed her on the couch. We watched whatever she wanted. Early into the morning she started craving her favorite snack so we went out in pajamas, got the snacks, and had a movie marathon. It’s one of my favorite memories with her. She started off that night crying and ended it safe in my arms, snacks surrounding her as credits rolled on the T.V. 
I brushed her hair back as I stared at her sleeping so peacefully on the couch. The credits created a dim and timid light as I wiped the chocolate from the corners of her mouth. It was about 6am when Chris walked in. He looked annoyed and just walked past us as if we were ghosts. 
I recounted this as I saw the balloons, thinking that whatever is inside, she is going to love it. 
Han was first to grab her. When Seungmin unlocked the door with the overnight bags slung over his shoulder we could hear a little gasp and some talking. Han held her hand as we walked. 
“This is so sweet you guys didn’t have to,” she stopped at the balloons, looking at them as if they were the most precious diamonds she has ever seen. Then when we walked in she started sniffling. 
Sitting on the couches were 6 pillow sized plushies, and one giant plushie. Y/N loves plushies, their textures calm her. What got her to cry though, was what each of them represented. The one giant plushie was an angel. The other 6 were a lioness, a crown, a bird, a sunflower , Anya, and the National flower of Korea, the mugunghwa, the symbol of eternal beauty, that one has to be Minho’s. 
I have no clue where he even found some of these. Especially the lioness, that one represented I.N.’s nickname for her. Whenever anyone tried to mess with us he always said, “if you think the wolf is bad wait until the lioness hears about this.”
She started crying, “they…. They’re all my nicknames. The ones you gave me.” She immediately went to the angel and grabbed it, hugging it tightly as she cried. 
My heart broke and swelled at the same time. She should never have to feel like anyone is going to abandon her. It makes me so sad to know that she was so scared of losing us. All because of one foolish and egotistical man. He deserves nothing, especially not her love. Yet she loved him anyway. That is the type of person that she is. 
Felix came up to her and said, “I figured if one of us had to go out and you missed us, now you’ll have a piece of us with you. You won’t be alone, and we’ll always come back to you. So when we leave, you can hold on to them really tight and know that soon we’ll be there.” I could see the tears about to leave his eyes.
If anyone was able to do something this sweet for Y/N, it would be Felix. The way that he cares for her, comforts her, it’s like they share one mind. He knows that she loves plushies. Ones that are so soft she can just sink into them. Chris never really liked too many things in his room. So he always discouraged her from decorating with plushies. He also felt that, although they were cute, they had no place in an adult’s bedroom. Especially not a leader’s bedroom. Most of her plushies found residence in my room. 
I had no problem holding onto them for her and sometimes she would even decorate my room with them. Every movie night, before Hannie and I came home, she would grab the plushies and throw them on Han’s bed. She’d decorate with them, with Hannie’s favorite holding a bag of Hannie’s snacks. She’d also have her favorite, she named it Ollie, and Gyu on the bed, with popcorn in the middle. 
That always made me smile. That wherever Ollie went, so did Gyu. Whenever I would sleep in the same bed with her, I would grab Ollie and Gyu. One night she asked if she could hold Gyu for a bit. Usually I don’t let anyone touch him, but she isn’t anyone. Without hesitation I handed her Gyu and she handed me Ollie. I remember hearing her sigh with comfort as she talked to Gyu about me. How lucky Gyu must be to fall asleep next to me every night. She thanked him for comforting me and for allowing me to sleep soundly. Even on every tour, she would pack Ollie and Gyu for me to sleep with. The first time she did it, she wrote a note with it. ‘I’m going to miss you, but so is Ollie. I may not be able to go with you but Ollie can! Sleep well, have a great tour, I’ll see you soon Binnie!-Angel.’
She looked up at Felix, released the angel, and hugged him as she whimpered a bunch of tiny little “thank you’s” into his chest. I think she realized that all of us know that she is scared. We may not say it but we do. We know and we all love her so much. We are here for her. Even if we may not be there in person, there is no place we would rather be than being with her. 
Felix held her and pulled back after a few minutes. He wiped her tears and he said, “come on sit, take a load off. The brownie batter is almost done… unless you want to help?” He smirked at her. 
She practically dragged Felix to the kitchen and Minho yelled, “Yah, I’m not done in here!” She giggled and asked what he was doing. I came into the kitchen to see Minho tying tenderloin together. She was watching curiously as he worked. He said, “it is your first day home and we should celebrate that. I’m making beef wellington, and don’t worry I left out the mushrooms, replaced it with onions and carrots for you.”
“Really? Thank you Minho! This is going to be the best dinner, thank you!!” She bounced and kissed him on the cheek. His ears turned red as he said, “okokok go over there with Lix’ you guys can have the oven first since this needs to chill,” he kissed her forehead right before she bolted to help Lix. I couldn’t help but giggle at her as she breathed life into the room. 
I could see that she was really touched that he said, ‘your first day home’. Those words meant that now she is home. This is her space as well as theirs, that will never change. I could see her trying to hold back tears as she baked. Once things were baking Lix’ plugged in the switch and we had a blast playing games while we waited for dinner to come around. After everything was baked and made, we all sat down for a nice dinner, like we used to in the shared dorms.
Right before we all sat down Y/N smiled and said, “thank you. To all of you. This experience was hard. It was the hardest thing that I have ever been through to date. It’s because of all of you that I made it. All of you mean so much to me. The thing that really scared me after all of this was what would happen if I lost you guys? My boys. I cherish every single memory with each of you. I love you boys so damn much, you are all my family. Seeing what you did,” she looked at me and Hannie, “Being so strong. Crying with me, holding me through it all.” I grabbed her hand and kissed it. Resisting the urge to nudge into it like I always do.
She looked at everyone else, “The fear that each of you must have felt. I know I wasn’t the only one mourning and coming to terms with things.” I saw her look directly at Seungmin for a split second and went back to scanning the table, “I want to thank all of you so much. This experience was horrific. Because of all of you, I made it out. I love you boys so much. Thank you for welcoming me home.” With that, she sat down and leaned into me, I could tell she was either too nervous or embarrassed.
As we were eating and laughing she looked around the table. I sat down right to her left and Hannie was on her other side. I could tell she was doing her best not to cry. I think it was the same for the boys. Two days ago that wasn’t the case. She was fighting for her life around this time. To think that we would all be here, together, a family. It made me want to cry. This is the family that she deserves. Everyone she loves, at home, on time, together. She was so happy and before dessert came out Hyunjin said, “Yongbok-ah phase 2.” Then Felix went running to his room. He came out with a giant comforter and plopped on the living room floor. He then ran to Minho’s room, grabbed his comforter and plopped it down as well. At that point I.N. said, “Movie time! Everyone on the floor!”
Immediately everyone moved to the living room and got a spot except for me. I was helping wash dishes with Minho. When I walked in I could see Minho tearing up as we heard her giggle. I patted his back as I said, “what can I do to help, hyung?” He just shook his head a bit and asked me to help him with the drying. By the time we were almost done with that I heard Y/N calling my name and asking me to sit. I told her that I had to change into my pajamas first and I could hear her ask Lix if she could change in his room quickly. He of course obliged. 
Slowly but surely everyone started changing and pretty soon everyone was sitting on the comfy comforters. I didn’t really know where to sit and Y/N looked at me saying, “I know you aren’t thinking about sitting away from me.” I didn’t want to make it seem like she needed to be next to me all of the time, thinking that I would come off as clingy but it’s nice to know that she craves my touch as well. 
I sat down right next to her and everyone’s faces had giant smiles. I looked at her and she smirked as she held onto my bicep curling into me. This is one of my favorite places to be. Just next to her as she clings onto me like a Koala. 
She was giggling as Felix handed out the brownie sundaes and everyone got comfy. Y/N decided on a comedy for the first movie and out of nowhere she asked me, “You guys were never going to leave me, were you?” 
I just smiled at her and said, “Not in a million years. We love you, we always will. Nothing and no one will get in the way of that.” She gave me an indication that she wanted to be closer so I lifted my arm up, that way she could scooch closer to me. I could feel the tears through my sleep shirt as I held her. 
“Thank you for not leaving me.” She said as quietly as she could. The truth is, she is someone that I need, someone that we all need. She is a unique type of person. After about two movies most had abandoned the comforter pile. By the early morning it was just me and Y/N. We were laying down on her new plushies. She took her place on my chest. Much like that night from years ago, I wiped the chocolate from her face and watched her form as she slept, credits rolling on the T.V. I smiled as she slept. I kissed her forehead and she intertwined her leg with mine. A few minutes later we fell asleep, with the promise of better days ahead.
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zapreportsblog · 8 months
Note
(I don't know if you do smut and or poly ghostface and if you don't then just ignore this <3)
the reader and stu and billy have all been in a relationship together for a while but have yet to have sex (they've done just about everything else tho ;)) because the reader is a virgin and stu and billy have been respectful of that because they love her. Anyways, she tells them that she's ready to have sex and stu and billy are excited. When they have sex stu and billy are quite sweet with her but are still very much stu and billy.
(I'm so sorry if that made no sense and if you don't understand that's totally ok. I just wanna see stu and billy being a little nice during sex <33)
I do indeed write smut and for poly ghostface
❝movie night❞
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✭ pairing : billy loomis x reader x stu macher
✭ fandom : scream
✭ summary : (y/n) is secretly dating her two best friends Sidney and Tatum boyfriends behind their backs and after movie night, the night takes a turn in interesting way
✭ slashers masterlist
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You were in the living room with Sidney and Tatum for the weekly movie night at Stu's place, it had been something the small friendship group has included you on upon moving here a few months back but during those months of moving here interesting things have happened.
You ended up in a secret affair with boy boyfriends of Tatum and Sidney and though you felt wrong about being with them behind the two girls back but at the same time it was exciting.
Stu and Billy stood in the kitchen, they were getting some popcorn and drinks for not only themselves but for the girls as well. “How long is the popcorn gonna take?” Stu whined.
Billy as usual paid the tall boy any mind, “In a few more minutes,” he says for what felt like the hundredth time.
The boys could hear the giggles from rooms away, “What they laughing about?” Billy asks as Stu comes up behind him and plants his head on his shoulder. “Who knows? Maybe it’s stupid girl gossip,” stu mumbles. All he wanted was the fucking popcorn.
"Wait what!" Tatum almost shouted out if it hadn’t been for you shushing her to keep her volume low so no one else heard, but the boys were officially intrigued.
“What you think she told Tatum to make her react like that?” Stu silently questioned billy who didn’t reply instead seemed to be listening out for more information for they kept silent with their ears open.
"No way, there's no way at all! No offense." Tatum said slightly shocked at the news given to her.
"I just never got around to it, that's all.” You sounded embarrassed now, now they were really curious what could have caused you to feel that way.
"There's no fucking way that you are a virgin!”
“Shush!”
Billy and Stu whip their heads towards one another, and now since they were looking at each other they could make out what the other was thinking. It was like they were having some weird bro conversation in their minds, talking with their expressions.
They had to have misheard her. You, the girl who wore skimpy pajamas to bed with them and short dresses, the same you, was apparently a virgin? No way.
But at the same time it would make sense on certain things. Like why you only every made out with them and let them touch your boobs but when things almost went further you would stop them with flushed cheeks telling them not tonight.
At first they thought you were just being a tease and they were all here for it, they could wait a little bit but upon now learning of this information. Oh the night just got a little better
"What's that supposed to mean?" You were a bit offended at what Tatum said.
"Well, to be honest, we all thought you had sex with Randy." Imagine the look on your face when she said that, “What?! No way, ew! Randy and me are just friends.”
“Yeah but like, he follows you around like a lost puppy." Sidney interjects with her arms crossed over her chest, cheeks flushed from the whole sex talking happening right now
"He does not!" You said, flustered. Sure Randy was a bit clinging but it was because you were the only one who really paid him any mind or gave him the time of day.
Sure he hung out with others, others being your friendship group when you all were together with one another but no one’s really hung out with him alone, you took time out of your day to do that. To make him feel included.
"Randy's got a massive crush on you, (y/n).” Tatum states. “How you let that go over your head, I’ll have no idea,” she laughs.
At that moment, Stu and Billy decide to enter the room, causing all three girls to immediately stop talking about the whole topic and start watching the movie.
“Thank you,” you say taking the bowl of popcorn from Billy’s hand, fingers crossing against one another’s briefly.
“Thanks babe,” Tatum said taking her drink from Stu’s hand.
Throughout the whole movie, it was the Thing playing by the way, a really good movie at that. Billy and Stu couldn’t focus though, their minds elsewhere.
Billy thinks of all the things he could do to you, to ruin you for any other man (or woman). He wasn’t sure if you were bisexual like Stu or experimental like some people.
Billy sits at the farthest part of the couch from the TV, Sidney leaned against his side and Stu is at the other end, with Tatum on his side. You lay between them, your back pressing up against Billy's side, with your feet draped across Stu. The only real people watching the movie intently at this point had to be everyone else but Billy.
Before long Billythe movie is over and Tatum and Sidney are grabbing their stuff and making their way towards the door. “It’s been fun but my stupid brother says I have to be home after the movie otherwise he’ll drop me off at school in the cop car for a whole week, like ew!” Tatum says.
“Yeah and my dad says he doesn’t want me out late with everything happening, you know.” Sidney says sheepishly.
"Bye Tatum, Bye Sid." You say getting up from your spot to walk both girls to the door. “I’d probably crash here like always,” you laugh, you had decided you would stay for just a bit longer to hang out with the boys. You could’ve went home but what was the point of going back to an empty house.
The boys bid their goodbyes to Sidney and Tatum, giving both girls a hug and a kiss - after all they were their “girlfriends” so had to keep up appearances as loving boyfriends to the pair. But once the door was closed, all bets were off they table and they were free to be who they truly were with you.
Stu is the one to close the door, and you had already walked back to the living room and plopped yourself up onto the couch, sprawling out across it.
“I’m bored now!” You groaned.
"You want some food?" Stu asks from by the doorway with Billy at his side. “I noticed you hadn’t really eaten much -“
"Yeah sure!" You yell back, staring at the tv. The end credits from the thing were still playing but you knew it would be off shortly so you didn’t really care all that much
Billy and Stu headed towards the big kitchen, as Billy looks through the cabinets searching for some form of food that you may want.
"So what are we gonna do about the elephant in the room?" Stu asks quietly, leaning against the counter next to Billy.
“If by elephant you mean finding out that (y/n) is a virgin then yeah, I’m working something out right now in my head.
“Well are we just going to ignore it or go with the original plan."
The original plan had been for them to take her as ghostface forcefully because man was it such a turn on seeing her eyes wide with fear and lower lip quivering as she tried to keep her voice silent.
"No way, this changes everything.” Billy replies pulling out a box of cereal from the pantry.
“It does?” Stu says grabbing a bowl and spoon from the dishwasher.
“Yeah, if anything we’ll make our move tonight and make it special in the process.”
Stu and Billy return to the living room with a bowl of your choice of cereal, and hand it to you. “I couldn’t really find you anything you might want right now,” billy says.
You nod in their direction as a thanks, whiles they were gone you had taken to putting on another horror movie and now you were way too engrossed in the movie to realize that they were now sitting on either side of you.
Trapping you like a fly in a spiders web.
But what you do notice is that Billy lays a hand on your soft thigh. Stu immediately takes notice of how your breath hitches at the unexpected touch and how you suddenly are clenching your thighs together.
Stu looks towards Billy from the corner of his eye and then puts his arm around your shoulders.
Billy takes this as a sign, and slowly creeps his hand up your thigh as you attempt to hide how your breathing picks up and your face grows red from his touch.
He had this effect on you, both boys did and they knew it. Bastards were toying with you now that both girls were gone
Billy’s hand come to a stop, but he is now dangerously close to your clothes vaginal area. He’s so close he can feel the warmth radiating off of it. God he wanted to take you right here and then.
At this point, you aren't paying any attention to the movie, anymore. No you’re far to occupied with your breaths that are coming out in deep pants. When Billy goes to move his hand even closer, your hand rests on top of his, stopping him.
"B-billy?” Your voice is scolding and shaking, this behavior isnt anything new from him.
"What- what are you doing?"
Stu stays cuddled into your side, his own hand - his much larger, longer fingered hand at that moves to your thigh as well.
"What's the matter, sweetheart? Uncomfortable?" Stu teases, and you can’t help but to squirm under their watchful gaze. It’s like they are enjoying how nervous you are right now.
"N-no, it's just that-" You swallow the lump in your throat. "We are watching a movie." You squeak out as he dips his head down to lay opened mouth kisses on your neck.
“No baby girl, you got it all wrong. You’re watching the movie, stu and I are watching you.”
"Yeah princess, you can continue to watch the movie whiles billy and I continue what we’re doing," Stu says it like it's the simplest thing in the world. And you gasp, when he slides his hand underneath your dress, and makes his way into your underwear.
You hadn’t thought much about putting on the shortest white dress you could find in your closet, after all you were going to be hanging out with your friends - minus Randy, he had work tonight and plus it was comfortable and freeing and cute.
You moan embarrassingly loud when stu’s pointer finger swipes across your wet cunt. Stu laughs against your neck, and pulls away to smile wide at Billy.
"Dude she's so wet." He says and watches as Billy is shivering with excitement.
“Oh is she, well I guess I’ll just need to have a look and feel for myself." Before you can even scold them for talking about you like you aren't there. Stu dips his fingers into your underwear once more as well and slides his fingers across your cunt once more. Again you find yourself moaning at his touch, again.
This time Billy joins in and moves to rubbing slow circles around your clit.
It all feels like too much and not enough at the same time. And you're so confused, why are they acting like this? Tonight of all nights too?
"Billy, Stu." You whimper. "Why are you doing this?”
"It's okay, beautiful." Billy starts, as Stu continues to gently rub his finger against your cunt.
"You're ours remember, and as ours we just want t9 touch you and make you feel good."
“Yeah princess, don’t you want us to make you feel good?”
"wha-" You begin to speak, but Stu is quick to shut you up by slipping his long finger into you. Billy pulls his hand away, and you unintentionally whine in protest.
“God your so tight,” Stu practically growls out.
Billy can’t help himself, and without much thought he pulls you up into his lap. He’s now grabbing at your hips and even pulls you down to rub against his confined cock.
“Fuck,” you cry out from the pleasure you were feeling.
"J-jesus." He stutters, the feeling of your warm clothed cunt against his clothed length is heavenly to him. "She's so warm, Stu."
Stu hums in approval, coming up to stand in front of you. His hands slide underneath your white dress, pushing it up and over your tits.
You're basically naked now, sitting on Billy's lap with his cock pressing against your virgin cunt. And you're shaking mostly from arousal but also from confusion and anticipation.
‘It feels so good’ you think to yourself.
"She's shaking like crazy." Billy laughs at you, taking pleasure in the way you are feeling and it’s all their fault.
"I can tell." Stu responds, his hands massaging your tits as he gives them his absolute focus.
One of his hands goes to play your nipple, pinching it harshly. Stiffening it up as you whimper at the feelin, but a few seconds later you’re moaning loudly with Billy's lips wrap around the opposite nipple.
You’re back in bent in a odd way for billy can have access to your tits but it’s not uncomfortable.
Billy sucks on one, grazing it with his sharp teeth, and Stu takes the other inbetween his fingers, pinching and pulling on it. “You have such pretty tits princess.”
“Yeah she does,” billy pulls away to speak before going back at it with sucking on them.
You're so distracted by the pleasure you don't even notice Billy has now found a way to take off his pants and underwear. You gasp loudly when he presses himself against you. God he was so hard and god he was also so fucking big.
"Billy." You pant. "I can't -“
"Why not, sweetheart?" Billy tilts his head at you, and pouts his fingers once more playing with your tits.
He looks at you waiting for an answer that he already knows, asshole just wanted to hear you say it."I'm a virgin." You wince when you say it, expecting him to push you off and tell you to get out, somewhere in your head you’ve always feared their reaction to learning that you were a virgin.
He laughs, and Stu giggles, laying wet kisses across your neck.
Billy pulls you into another kiss, it's open mouthed and down right dirty. It leaves you aching and wanting more. One hand grips the side of your neck, and squeezes and you can feel yourself choking back a moan into his mouth. His other hand is on his cock, gently rubbing the tip against your still clothed clit.
You're rocking your hips, rutting against his dick.
Stu’s no longer on your tits, no now he’s sucking dark hickeys along the sides of your neck that Billy's hand isn't on. Before you can comprehend what’s happening, you feel it.
And that causes you stop all together when he moves his dick to your hole, your panties are still on, blocking him from entering but will it really be enough to stop him?
"You can't.” You’re begging now and Billy think's it's absolutely adorable. Stu laughs, his hand going to your hips to hold you still.
"Shhh, it's okay." Billy attempts to confront you. "Just the tip? please baby."
"But we don't have condoms." You gasp, as he begins to push in.
“No you’re right, but your panties are in the way so it’s alright.”
"I'll pull out after a few minutes,” He promises, but he knows he won't. He's got you exactly where he wants you. He wants to see you round in the belly area with his and Stu’s baby. He wants to feel the swell of your cunt when him and stu return home every day from killing horny teens. He just wants you all to himself, stu too.
So if you think he's going to miss out on the opportunity to cum inside of you? Oh you have another thing coming.
You begin whining even more when he gets the tip in. "It hurts." You murmur, tears welling in your eyes.
"Oh babe. Stu says, mockingly sympathetic as he rubs his thumb across your cheeks feeling the wet substance.
Billy moans at the feeling of your pussy clenching at the intrusion. He groans when he notices the tears falling from your eyes too. “Fuck,” he breathlessly mumbles out.
"Fuck man, she's crying." Stu moans out watching as billy pushes just a little further inside of you.
"Billy!”
Oh now you’re squealing, he's more inside you than just the tip as promised, and you're a little upset that he lied to you but are you truly?
"C'mon baby, just a little more. I won't go any further than that" Billy says, pushing in just a little bit with each word.
Your hands go to stu’s shoulder and you attempt to hide your face in his neck. But Stu grabs your own shoulders and leans you forward to pull you into a heated kiss. Suddenly, Bill grabs your hips and slams them down, pushing all the way into you. You cry out, pulling away from Stu.
"Damn, You're gonna break her," Stu laughs watching the scene with excitement, your panties are still on causing you to feel extra stuffed but they seem to be tearing at the sides now.
"If you could feel how tight she is you'd do the same thing." Billy groans, and you babble to yourself about something they can't seem to understand. He's hitting something so deep inside of you that you that you can't speak properly.
"Awww, look at her." Stu mocks. "She's so cock drunk she can't even speak."
You instinctually start rocking your hips, and Billy pulls out a bit, “Stu take her panties off quickly” he commands and Stu never one to displeasure billy listens, billy once more is shoving back inside of you and this time you moan, really loud at that.
Stu seems entranced, staring at where you and Billy are connected.
"You’re doing so damn well, sweetheart." Billy grunts, pressing into you and then pulling out, just to repeat the action all over again.
“You're so fucking beautiful." You moan at the praise.
There's a tightness in your stomach, and it seems to be getting tighter by the second.
"Look at, you’re so fucking dumb." Stu says, lips next to your ear now, “You thought that if you let Billy and me fuck you raw he wouldn't use the opportunity to cum inside you?" He laughs as if he’s just told them funniest joke, “Look at you now. So cock drunk, our sweet, dumb little whore."
"Huh?" You say, confused. "What?" You moan again, squeezing down on Billy's cock.
"Listen closely princess, Billy boy here is is going to cum inside you, and then i'm going to fuck you, then I'm gonna' cum inside your fucked out cunt. Me and him are just going to keep fucking this cunt until it’s all used up and sloppy from both of our cocks.”
You whine in protest, trying to pull away from Billy but when his dick starts twitching inside you and Stu reaches down and rubs at your clit, gently pinching every now and then before rubbing it again. That tightness in your stomach snaps, and you cry out, clenching around Billy’s dick as you shout out, “I’m cumming!”
You quiver in Billy's lap, waves of pleasure flowing through your body. You can now feel warmth flooding your cunt as he spills inside of you, filling you up with his every being.
You whine again, panting some more as Billy pulls from out of you, his cock softening but still twitching as it rests against your exposed cunt that drips with his cum.
"Yes, you are sweetheart." Stu says watching as you twitched slightly coming down from your high, “But now it’s my turn princess." Stu pulls you from off Billy's lap, slamming you down on the other end of the couch and positioning himself in between your legs.
“Don’t worry princess,” stu says noticing the look of fear in your eyes, “this is going to hurt some” - he says before slamming his way inside your used cunt.
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