#no spoilers BUT THE MOVIE WAS SO GOOD!!!!! i’ve already seen it twice and i hope i get to see it again after work!!

[see-arcane]

OJ and JJ: Why Jean Jacket Let the Haywoods—Especially OJ—Get Away with More Than Anyone Else in “Nope”

I’ve seen Nope twice now. While everyone I saw it with enjoyed it, I heard a few cries of foul when it came to OJ and the others’ improbable good luck with all their near misses interacting with our favorite terrifying gulch-haunting UFO. I call foul back and say plot armor had nothing to do with it. Some luck, yeah, otherwise we’d have no protagonists. But that was hardly all.

Spoilers for Nope below

To be clear, I am absolutely not painting this as the same delusional ‘friendship’ Jupe assumed he had with Jean Jacket. Neither he, nor OJ, nor anyone else is a miraculously endowed animal/alien tamer with an automatic ~*~special bond~*~. It’s one of many points Nope goes out of its way to illustrate. You can only train (or disrespect) an animal so far before they lash out, especially predators, and especially island-sized UFOs with the munchies. But, insomuch as there is any ‘safe’ way to coexist in close proximity with something like Jean Jacket, OJ Haywood is shown to have pulled it off with flying colors. And he did so almost entirely unaware to begin with by dint of his character traits.

That and a combination of Jean Jacket’s own instincts are what likely put him and the people around him in the tiiiny pocket of special allowance JJ deigned to give them over the course of the movie.

Let’s roll back to the first scene with the Haywood Ranch and the death of Otis Sr. A death by falling nickel that happened six months before the present-day events of the film. Just before this, father and son were curious about the screaming in the clouds—a fresh snack of hikers about to be squelched—followed by the rain of inedible bits. We can assume this was Jean Jacket’s first time flying in the gulch, and he chose the Haywood Ranch as The Spot for Purging; just like the hills next to the ranch were chosen for his ‘nest’/hiding place/resting spot.

While Jupe was methodically feeding JJ fresh horses and imagining the big guy trusted him, Jean Jacket kept going home to his actual favorite spot right next to OJ and his horses—a man and his big juicy animals out training in broad daylight, day after day, without ever pestering them. No missing horses. No missing OJ. Despite JJ clearly having opportunity and a taste for both species by that point. Why?

The obvious answer is that OJ kept his head down. Literally. Eyes always on his work, under the shade of his hat bill, maybe glancing at the clouds now and then…but always too far away to agitate. For all that time, he was unconsciously respecting Jean Jacket’s rules. Plus, he was in JJ’s purging/nesting territory first; yes, Jean Jacket was calling dibs on the whole gulch, but if the locals already there aren’t bothering him, fine, sure, they can stay.

The place’s importance to Jean Jacket, OJ’s head-down habits, and the amount of time spent coexisting with each other sans trouble all combined to put OJ and the alien into as close to a neighborly setup as could ever be expected. Don’t fuck with me, I don’t fuck with you.

Then things start picking up. Too much activity, too many new skyward glances from OJ, too many hackles raised with the Star Lasso Experience. And yeah, JJ did almost vacuum OJ up—he infringed on their ‘arrangement’ and looked! The nerve! And after JJ let him get away with hiding under a roof the night he stared up at the dust devil that took the fake horse! How ungrateful!

…A move that, in hindsight, plays almost like a Strike 1 offense, paid back by slurping up the actual horse. OJ’s staring at the Star Lasso arena was likely Strike 2. After snapping at OJ and causing the accidental knockout against the ceiling, JJ flies off without him or Lucky.

Off JJ flies to the Haywood Ranch again, full of screaming people and detritus and huffy extraterrestrial chest-pounding. And what does JJ do? He drops a big bloody purge waterfall directly onto the Haywoods’ house—OJ’s territory-within-JJ’s territory—like the giant alien version of an animal hiking its leg and marking all over a lower-tier animal’s spot.

This is a warning. This is my place. I rule here.

Then, as if holding onto the statue for last (hell, that may have been the real Strike 1), he moves his big flying Roomba self over to OJ’s truck—which I’d bet JJ definitely recognizes after six months—and just hovers. Hovers. Hovers.

Making sure OJ is paying attention. Then he hacks the statue out like a bad loogie right into the windshield. Assuming it didn’t kill his ‘neighbor,’ it would be a fine lesson:

You are on thin ice. Do not cross me again.

Come morning, what do we find out? Not only is Jean Jacket smart enough to know the humans will react when he moves enough to let the electricity fizzle back on, he immediately moves back overhead to stare down at OJ. My guess? It was a test.

You know better, neighbor. What do you do when I am here? What very smart thing have you done in all our quiet time side by side?

And thank God, it does dawn on OJ in time. Do Not Look. No Eyes On JJ.

So he ducks his head. And, even though he caught a very obvious peripheral glimpse, Jean Jacket still lets that slide. Jean Jacket lets OJ, his sister, and Angel—probably his family/pack in JJ’s POV—scurry away in their silly rolling box. We can’t even say it was because Jean Jacket was still full; the big guy looks like he has whole miles of gut to chow down with.

No, he lets OJ and company off with a few warnings, because the arrangement renewed. And off he goes to settle in his cloud again.

Cut to the run.

I sincerely believe that if it had been any other person on the horse, any other person goading Jean Jacket along the run, they would not have lasted a minute. No, not even with their head down. We’ve seen by now just how fast JJ can move, how quick he can flip from zero to I-Will-Knock-You-Back-Like-a-Shrieking-Tic-Tac. And nobody can say they didn’t clench up when they, like OJ, realized Jean Jacket was hovering right behind him like the world’s most ominous frisbee. Ditto the part where JJ slurped up the TMZ jerk barely a yard away from him and Lucky.

Thiiis close to sucking him up. But no. The dust devil got Mr. TMZ with the precision of a straw.

Then we get to the run—OJ on horseback, JJ being JJ, going fast…but almost at his version of a canter. A brisk walking pace.

That much might be owed to the fact that, unlike all his other prey, the people/horses have gotten a good look at Jean Jacket, then turned to run. With OJ’s staring hoodie, he’s retreating while still looking at/challenging JJ. That’s new! That implies Jean Jacket’s neighbor has his hackles up even as he moves away!

So Jean Jacket gives a comparatively leisurely chase. Then, just when he gets fed up and goes for the vacuum maneuver—surprise! Flags everywhere! Jean Jacket freaks out as expected, twisting away rather than risk gulping up another bad meal. What the hell, OJ, why didn’t you warn JJ you were a statue this whole time?

And, finally, the climax.

OJ looks at Jean Jacket dead on, still sitting on the flag-strung Lucky. This is when Jean Jacket has completely unfolded into what looks like a full intimidation display. These tiny two-legged things have turned into a big flag-covered, barbed wired headache for Jean Jacket. Perhaps even a threat. It’s down to a fight for the territory in JJ’s perspective. Someone has to go. And OJ, the one he ‘knows’ best, the one that had respected and been respected by Jean Jacket most, like two sullen predators in the same cage mutually agreeing not to bother the other, is the one metaphorically baring his teeth first.

Even as he flexes all his freaky jellyfish anatomy, Jean Jacket hesitates.  

Does he think this is OJ warning him away? Or is he really instigating a fight to the finish? …Is there a chance OJ could win?

Even when, finally, OJ does begin drawing him along, away from Em’s bike, we never see JJ strike out with his appendages or make another dust devil. He’ll match OJ’s staring contest, he’ll creep closer, but he does not lash out.

It’s only when Em revs up and takes off for Jupiter’s Claim that Jean Jacket gambles on pursuing what he (mis)takes for the less worrisome Haywood. Simply because she looked at him and fled? Because JJ wants another warning to spit up for OJ later? No way to know.

All we see is that OJ, by a mix of hair-thin good fortune and animal training experience, managed to live with, counter, and psych out Jean Jacket enough to earn the man-eating megafauna’s tolerance and enough respect that it edged near worry.

tl;dr: No, OJ was not a magical horse/alien whisperer. But he did gain enough of Jean Jacket’s esteem to give him the best odds of survival, cohabitation and manipulation, simply by being himself, being respectful of the ‘rules’ once he knew them, and being cool as hell while everyone else fell apart or got slurped.

#hope you like text walls #anyway I love it when directors don't spoon-feed the details but leave them there for you to pick up yourself #OJ Haywood #Jean Jacket #Nope 2022 #Nope #horror #jordan peele #spoilers

[oathkeeperoxas]

TOP GUN / Icemav fic recs

After recently bingeing so so many fics in the TOP GUN and specifically the icemav tag, I bring to you all a selection of some of the finest below. Many many more are so very good, but there’s only so much I can fit in one post, so I’ve tried not to duplicate authors. If they’re on here, please check out an author’s profile and also give their other works some love!

The Next Step https://archiveofourown.org/works/4229682 by thedevilchicken

When he takes a job as an instructor, Maverick has issues to deal with. Ice shouldn't be the one to help him.

Posted in 2004!! Icemav shippers are the real ones, this fic has layers of guilt and grief and shower sex and complicated relationships and is so so so chewy.

Twice the Speed of Life https://archiveofourown.org/works/39694146/chapters/99373488 by Winterotter

Maverick spends the weekend with Iceman after training Rooster and the rest of his Top Gun class, and things take an unexpected turn. An AU set after the events of Top Gun: Maverick. Beware spoilers for the new movie in this fic.

Icemav get together after the events of TGM what can I say but yes. Ice’s trauma and PTSD is handled so well, and the way that Mav and Ice are FRIENDS has just. It’s got me. I love when they are friends with each other as well as loving each other 🥺

Fire or Clear https://archiveofourown.org/works/21742234 by weshes

Ice peeled his shades off and looked at Mav, and the smirk grew just a tiny bit. "You've got a little something on your face." He gestured to his own face, the side of which was perfect and unbruised, unlike Mav's. He knew this from a long, wincing examination in the mirror that morning. But at least his eye was open and working now, and he could roll it at Ice, so small mercies.

HURT COMFORT MY BELOVED!!!! Again, Icemav are such FRIENDS here and I love that for them, the hurt/comfort goes both ways and is so delicious, oh and the sex is hot af too

A Shared Cup https://archiveofourown.org/works/24314623 by @susiecarter

It was only a training exercise. It was only supposed to be a training exercise.

Literal agony trying to choose just one fic from this author when they’re so so so good. Reccing this one as I've already rec'd the (incredible, amazing) gift I received from this author!! This is rivals to lovers, accidental soulbond, telepathic sex… what else could you want from a fic. The accidental soulbond and the way it shows how focused Ice and Mav are on each other even in the beginning of their time together at TOP GUN ohhhholyyyy shit. Yeah that’s the good stuff

Lead Me On (To The Other Side) https://archiveofourown.org/works/20485757 by @boasamishipper

Goose talked to him most nights. His choice of conversation was normal — movies he’d seen, music he liked, stories about his wife and son — and sometimes Ice almost forgot that Goose was dead at all.

Ghost!Goose acts as icemav's matchmaker. Cracky premise, heartbreakingly amazing fic.

Walking into the sky https://archiveofourown.org/works/44164918/chapters/111057325 by @kerbyfullyloaded

Pete Mitchell was fourteen when his daemon settled. It took him a few years to join her in the sky, wings on his chest and steel all around him.

Daemon AU fuck yes!!! The daemon and human interactions here are sooooo much, the way they add so much flavour to the retelling of the og Top Gun is so very very good!!!

Dreams of Impact https://archiveofourown.org/works/42588693/chapters/106977687 by @icemankazansky

Maverick's trip in Darkstar takes him further than he ever imagined possible.

Another author which was almost impossible to choose just one fic from. This dimension hopping story about how Maverick’s flight in the Darkstar shows him what could have happened if things went a little differently in the 90s blew my socks off!

All In https://archiveofourown.org/works/19849111 by @icemankazansky

An A/B/O retelling of Top Gun. Maverick, an alpha, meets Ice, an omega, at TOPGUN, and knows instantly they're mates. Then there are complications.

I had to include this series because omega!Ice has me by the throat I will NOT lie… the little moments throughout this make my head spin, they are so in love!!!

Like a thursday https://archiveofourown.org/works/23324872 by @academicgangster

Hey, you get dumped or somethin'? I won't tell.

When I say I cried. This was written pre-TGM release and has MCD, but is written so heart breakingly perfectly because of it.

Am I your baby tonight? https://archiveofourown.org/works/46775455 by jiangwanyinsimp

Five times Iceman thought Maverick was sweet-talking him but it was one of their vehicles, and one time Maverick actually was sweet-talking him. Or, a glimpse into thirty years of marriage.

Soft, sweet, perfect.

Vortex https://archiveofourown.org/works/28000056 by @m-madeleine

Ice loses his ring, Maverick finds it. Things get interesting.

The complicated relationship and the back and forth here!!!! So much going on!!!!

Honey Lungs https://archiveofourown.org/works/43471734 by ReformedTsundere

"Did you want a drag?" Maverick's eyes snap up to Ice's and he sees a crease of confusion there, probably trying to work out why Maverick had been staring so intently at his lips. Even though Maverick is sure he's said he doesn't smoke before, saying no would only inspire more questions, so Maverick swallows instead and tries to smile. "Sure."

Well you see. The thing is, I am not immune to icemav smoking.

When We Get Around to Talking About It https://archiveofourown.org/works/41275461/chapters/103487754 by @compacflt

Goose has been dead for a week and a half when Iceman loses his first wingman in a dogfight with six Soviet MiGs over the Sea of Okhotsk. Goose has been dead for thirty years when Iceman loses his second wingman to a surface-to-air missile on the tail-end of a mission he's responsible for: he's sent his family on a suicide mission to destroy a uranium enrichment facility in Siberia. This is the story of those thirty years in the middle. (Or: Tom Kazansky rises through the ranks while trying to stay a good man. If he ever was one to begin with.)

I can’t have an icemav rec list without including this fic, THE icemav fic of all time!!!! I adore slice of life, definitely my favourite genre, so getting 30 years of icemav development and love and ups and downs written as perfectly as they are here obviously catapulted this up into being my fav icemav fic. Please give it (and the sequels) some love!!

#when i say i could literally make 20 of these rec lists I am not joking. so so many good fics out there!!!! #icemav #top gun #top gun maverick #fic rec #rec list #tg #curated for adi and definitely the best way i could have spent my wednesday morning

[listentothelittlebird]

so I watched Nimona with some friends a while back! Spoilers below while I ramble about it:

(First scene with ballister and ambrosius) Friend: so are they friends? Me: (knowing what’s in a few seconds) uh… (they hold hands) Friend: OHHHH

(Halfway through, Friend starts googling voice actors) Friend: oh the Try Guys!

Me every time the Director is on screen: gaslighter!!!!

(Netflix buffers twice during the movie)

The movie was great!! I enjoyed it a lot, it has light-hearted moments but doesn’t downplay the seriousness of heavy moments! The animation was used in a lovely way to exaggerate movements (and the movements are so fluid!) and scenes (ambrosius in full armour during the prison break)

One of my favourite moments is the scene with the Director and ambrosius in the flying taxi(??), where the Director asks ambrosius what’s on his mind. The rant going from normal into frenzied into downright manic and then immediately cutting off into silence with “I’m fine, Director” was just such a great way of portraying ambrosius’ inner emotions without having him voice those thoughts to the Director, who is his superior and not someone he would confide in.

Another thing I liked: when Nimona was being attacked in Gloreth’s time, the reason the village caught on fire was because one of the villagers threw fire at Nimona. And in the present time, yes, Nimona did destroy some of the buildings and cars, but the knights fired a missile at Nimona that then bounced off and destroyed the nearby building. It is partly the actions of the people who fear Nimona that causes the destruction of their own homes. (And most obviously, when the Director chose to fire the cannon into the centre of the city.)

The foreshadowing about the “dragon” and “monster” imagery through a cereal ad of all things is a good touch as well. It seems like such a dumb light-hearted thing to show, and it continues to be treated that way as Nimona turns into the specific cereal dragon from the advertisement while the jingle plays in the background, and then it all screeches to a stop with that little girl and Nimona in cereal dragon form staring down at her. And even in the ad you can see how the people have learnt that they should “slay the dragon”, that they should pick up a sword and point it at a monster.

And then Nimona turns into a Phoenix, and while flying towards the cannon flies past a mural of the dragon against a knight, and it’s both a rebirth of what people think of monsters and a retelling of the original myth.

I guess I’ve already seen a lot of posts about the movie, so I was prepared for a lot of the underlying themes and such. Because I was a little prepared, I suppose I could really appreciate the movie that much more.

I really really liked the movie <3

#nimona #nimona spoilers

[ventu-ru]

My Venture Bros Movie Thoughts (SPOILERS) scene by scene

I’ve watched this film twice already, and I’m about to put it on again for a third time to write my thoughts on it.

For context, I started watching the Venture Bros in January of this year. I was mostly putting it on the background for the lulz but when I saw the season 1 finale, I was hooked. With many of the people in the community saying it gets better with every season, I eagerly watched the series, before finally reaching the finale of season 7 around April/May.

Then, I joined the rest of the community in grieving the Venture Bros’ cancellation because I understood how well written and engaging the story was building up to this point.

Nevertheless, we were able to have a finale in the form of a movie, and I will be going scene by scene and laying down my thoughts because I figured it’d be a pretty cool time capsule of my thoughts.

Scene 1: Finding the homeless Hank decoy. So this was basically the teaser for the movie so I was familiar with this scene, but I think they added some lines that weren’t there before. I’m sure we all saw it coming that it wasn’t going to be Hank, especially now that we know its the first scene in the film.

Opening Credits

Scene 2: Sheila asks Rusty for a simple cheek swab to confirm his relation to Malcolm, but Dean comes in to interrupt them, saying OSI is quitting the search for Hank. Its funny, in a cringe and pathetic way, that Rusty still thinks Sheila likes him. I don’t even like Rusty that much anyway, so it works for me, haha. Dean comes in, complaining that the search is off, which gives Sheila a chance to get Rusty’s coffee mug for DNA sampling before being on her way. The interaction between Dean and his father here tells us what we need to know about why I dislike this man LOL. While Rusty has a point that Hank does weird and zany stuff like this, his nonchalant attitude still bothers me. He doesn’t have clones of his sons anymore so, uh, he should be more worried when they’re in danger, right?? Anyway, Dean has every right to be worried, but Rusty is more worried about his bank account. Billy comes running in after Dean leaves to tell Rusty about the problem with the new product.

Scene 3: Sheila spots Malcolm and Gary spying on her and she has a talk with them before dropping them off at the train station. Malcolm doesn’t want to wait around for DNA tests in order to arch Venture, but it’s under Guild protocol that he does. Sheila gets an emergency call from the Guild and drops Malcolm and Gary off at the station. I’m totally understanding of both sides of the situation. I also love how Gary is literally sitting in the middle of all this despite them having the entire limo space to sit. He’s literally playing the audience surrogate right now. Anyways, I’ve always loved Malcolm and Sheila’s relationship and I really hate to see them fight, but luckily nothing’s been escalated to that extent.

Scene 4: Billy and Pete show Rusty what the problem is with the new HelperPod. It starts floating out of nowhere and can unexpectedly drop when turned off, endangering babies and other smol creatures. My dude is literally not gonna stop the launch because of the new bug and expects Billy to fix it overnight, which Billy explains is not possible. H.E.L.P.eR. sees this new product and runs off, thinking that it’s being replaced.

Almost 5 scenes in and we are off to a good and efficient start! We got 4 plot lines started with Rusty’s product launch, Sheila’s investigation with the Guild, Malcolm’s discontent with the inability to arch, and Dean’s discontent with the OSI’s effort to look for Hank. While the movie’s been efficient so far, we can already see how much is packed in here- and we haven’t even seen Hank yet!

Scene 5: Malcolm and Gary run into Debra at the train station, where its revealed that she was Malcolm’s ex and now she runs ARCH, which piques their interest because they are not associate with the Guild.

Scene 6: The Guild of Calamitous Intent review an unauthorized arching by BrickFrog. Sheila says that this isn’t an isolated event and needs more investigating. A pretty short scene, but sets up that Sheila is trying to investigate this crime and we get Guild banter.

Scene 7: Dean goes to Dr. Orpheus for help finding Hank. He gets attacked by a clothes golem that we find out is Al’s ‘creation’. They recently moved into a new HQ in New York so that’s pretty cool to see. While him and Jefferson kinda play fight with it, Dean talks with Dr. O, who tells him that he’s able to faintly track Hank through visions of past, present and future. Dr. O asks Jefferson if they can use his vehicle, and he agrees, only if Jefferson is the one who drives. This sets up the use of the golem in a scene later that I did not expect.

Scene 8: We finally get to hear from Hank, who is writing in his journal on a train heading to Denver, Colorado. He is also switching to his different personalities as he’s describing his escape from the hospital, to setting up the decoy from the first scene, to traveling around New York before hopping on a train. I questioned the fact that he uses a check signed by himself that traces back to the Venture bank account, but no one else brings this up as a way to track him... so it might have happened the day after OSI dropped the search for Hank? Anyways, I also noticed that the alter-egos come out when Hank is dealing with a lot of grief or danger or just in intense situations. For example, when he was giving up his stuff to the homeless people, he is grieving over letting go of his materials and running away. He was in his batman alter-ego. Then, right after he recalls the betrayal by Sirena and Dean, he imagines all of his alter-egos. This just shows his way of coping. On a side note, when I first saw this scene, I misheard Detective-Hank saying, “There’s only ever one dame who ever left ya...” as “There’s only ever one (Dean) who (never) left ya...” and because they were going to Colorado, I thought he was going to go make a clone of Dean or something, that woulda been WAY CRAZY. So out there, that it would prolly only happen in fan fiction or something crazy like that.

Scene 9: Gary and Malcolm talk about ARCH and eventually look into the business card Gary was given, leading the ARCH ship right to their hideout. I thought it was funny that Gary was making a big deal and drew the connection that Malcolm hated Rusty for stealing his gf, but Malcolm says that thats merely near the bottom of the list of why he hates Venture.

Scene 10: OSI cleans up the crime scene shown back in scene 6, Red Death and Sheila go to do some forensics. YAY SHORELEAVE. I love the little banter of them thinking about Brock vs Red Death. That is definitely something for the fan base to debate over till the end of time. Red Death steals a phone from one of the hennchmen to get to the bottom of this.

Scene 11: Debra leads Malcolm and Gary through ARCH HQ, explaining that ARCH is a global organization that is quiet and efficient. Stuff like this makes me really really REALLY sad that this isn’t going to be continued because it shows the potential for this series to grow and and go in different directions and naturally increase the stakes. Finally, she shows off the different gadgets they can have if they join ARCH.

Scene 12: Now, we’re back to Jefferson, Dr. O and Dean’s road trip to Colorado! Jefferson makes a stop back at his old place and we finally FINALLY get a peak of his life behind the scenes. I’ve been wanting this for forever now cuz he’s been one of my fave characters since I started watching. He states that if they get a head start tomorrow morning, they’ll be with Hank by mid-day tomorrow. It kinda sucks that this was the only time we really got to see more of Jefferson in the whole series, but I’ll take it!

Scene 13: Hank reached the Venture compound at night, but it has been demolished. Feeling dreadful, his detective-Hank alter comes in and tells him to look again. This starts off the sequence of flashbacks throughout the Venture compound that genuinely made me smile in sweet nostalgia (despite seeing the whole series a few months ago) that I bet hit hardest to the people who’ve been with the series day one. It ends with Hank getting a reality check before immediately remembering his coma-dream, where he recalls his ‘mothers’ name- Bobbi St. Simone. Then, he is spotted by Dermott, who believes he still works under OSI.

Scene 14: Rusty is still working on his launch for tomorrow morning, setting up the panel and everything. Billy and Pete head out to get ready for an all-nighter to work on the bugs of the HelperPod. Pretty short scene again, Rusty being narcissistic as usual. “Well, hide the thing under your coat, there might be paparazzi outside.”

Scene 15: Malcolm and Gary sneak into the lair at night to check out the new costumes. I think I liked the old costumes more... but I’m glad that they’re enjoying them and their new features. Malcolm and Gary have the best dynamic, it’s great.

Scene 16: We get a 1960′s trailer for a movie that starred Bobbi St. Simone. Dermott recognizes her face and name because there was an old photo of her given to Rusty that she signed. Dermott’s been hoarding a bunch of the Venture’s stuff LMAO for ‘security purposes’ but Hank isn’t convinced by the excuse. They get interrupted by ‘Mr. Potter’/Ben who wants a polyphase Venturilium converter from Dermott... which idk why he would have that? My guess is that Dermott thinks the gadgets just look cool. Maybe he secretly wants to be included in the Venture Bros’ adventures? idk. Hank watches a PSA from Bobbi and finds out she’s at a zoo of some sorts.

Scene 17: Dr. O wakes from his sleep, seeing the vision of Hank hanging out with Dermott and wakes up Jefferson and Dean to head out. They get ambushed by Jefferson’s enemies and unfortunately, magic doesn’t work on them, so no Jefferson and Dr. O co-op fight scene :( Dean thinks he got bit by one of the vampires. Prolly one of my favorite lines: “Did that sum-bitch just bail on us?” They’re able to escape when they release the golem on them. I bet if this was a season-long, the group would be able to track Jefferson, leading to another fight scene either at the zoo with Hank and Bobbi or with Dermott at his place.

Scene 18: Gary and Malcolm go to arch Venture with their new gear. Also short, not much to say... I love how it starts with Gary exclaiming, ‘Its the Police!’ referencing a band name rather than the actual police.

Scene 19: This scene sort of confused me when I first watched it, but basically, Red Death, Brock and Shoreleave find evidence that frames Sheila as the culprit of the crime sprees and give her the chance to run away.

Scene 20: Back with Gary and Malcolm continuing Scene 18, Debra abandons them in the Venture compound. Luckily, they just have to deal with Sgt. Hatred, not the wrath of Brock, so they’re relatively safe. Debra then sets off the HelperPods through the bug that Billy and Pete were investigating. This makes them all release their own magnetic fields and gravitational forces and make the building float up into space.

Scene 21: Brock sees the building flying out into space and calls Rusty to tell him what’s going on. Rusty finally looks outside and realizes that the building is exiting the earth’s atmosphere. I’m surprised he hasn’t heard the music from the bots yet.

Scene 22: Billy and Pete try to get the HelperPod down, but is only taken down by getting shot at, which Billy tells Rusty in a call.

Scene 23: Red Death’s horse, Daisy guides Sheila to Debra because they believe she’s been the one who framed her.

Scene 24: Dr. O goes to Dermott and asks him about Hanks’ whereabouts. Another one of my fave lines: “Liar! Pants aflame!!” This scene also showcases how scary and physical Dean can actually be, especially when someone he cares about is in danger. (But also when he believes that he’s turning into a vampire). I would have loved for this to be explored in a later season or something because there’s some stuff there that would make Dean a much much more interesting character (imo the fans seem to gravitate to Hank’s character rather than Dean cuz he’s just had more interesting character moments. So I think a storyline tackling this side of Dean would be a great direction for his character).

Scene 25: Hank finally reaches the old zoo where Bobbi is. All his alter-egos come out, skeptical but curious as to who the mother is. He gets attacked by a gorilla, but is saved by Bobbi. When she hears that him and Dean had a falling out, she says that, “Family is- it’s everything, really.”

Scene 26: Billy and Pete finally figure out the vulnerability and call Rusty to explain the situation. They tell him to manually turn off the robots. Shooting them is one way of doing that, but before Billy can communicate the issues with that approach, they lose connection. I kinda liked this scene, since Rusty admits, “I was happier as a middling super-scientist in the middle of nowhere!”

Scene 27: Hunter Gathers decides that they’ll have to shoot down the Ven-Tech building to save people on earth. Brock tries to talk him into saving them, to no avail. I think Brock was tryna go for a ‘Venture may not have a lot but they got me!’ kinda speech, but it falls flat and they laugh at him lol. But then he brings up that Sheila is behind the scenes trying to talk to Debra, and has faith that she’ll put a stop to it.

Scene 28: Sheila and Daisy reach Debra’s apartment and Daisy jumps to a bunch of conclusions about Debra’s plan before she can explain herself. It’s pretty funny because with every conclusion Daisy came up with, I found myself thinking of it as a possibility, but Debra was having none of that LOL.

Scene 29: Bobbi finally gets to explain her story and once again, we get Hank intervening and jumping to conclusions about her being his mother. I think it was pretty amusing, but having it back to back like that and being the same kinda joke (character jumps to ridiculous conclusions after getting a few bread crumbs of info) might get stale after a few viewings. Bobbi finally explains that she isn’t his mother, sending Hank into a confused spiral of emotion, and into another coma. So I think these coma trips have been happening whenever he’s had an emotionally traumatic moment and needs to escape reality. Dr. O and the gang finally reach them and offer to help.

Scene 30: Meanwhile, Malcolm, Gary and Rusty and Sgt. Hatred all agree to work together to take down the HelperPods. Even H.E.L.P.eR. comes to help. Unfortunately, their mission to take down the Pods ends TERRIBLY. It was pretty horrifying to see what happened to the characters because it looked more severe than the usual cartoon injuries they’ve endured in the past. But in retrospect, nothing too crazy for Venture Bros.

Scene 31: Hank sulks in the coma-dream while all his alters come out to play. Dr. O comes to him and tells him that they’re there to rescue him. Hank doesn’t believe he has a place to go back to.

Scene 32: Back in the real world, Bobbi makes it clear to Dean that shes not his mom and he says he already knows, but doesn’t remember seeing her before.

Scene 33: Meanwhile, Debra tries to convince Sheila to join her in ARCH. Sheila defends herself that she’s happy where she is and she chose this life. Debra reveals that she is Force Majeure’s daughter. She also had previous contact with Rusty. “And I gave [Rusty] my...stuff I wasn’t planning on using.” At first, I thought that this was just gadgets or something but now I think its some DNA and reproductive stuff that helped create Dean and Hank? They finally come to an agreement and she turns off the HelperPods that are making the Ven-Tech building up in space.

Scene 34: I think this is the first scene where I can sorta see... the limitations in production. But its only speculation. Back in the Ven-Tech building, the four guys make it through the vents and into a safe space to recuperate. They notice that they are in free fall and need to get on a space ship out of the building to get out safely. They start floating upwards, but then the screen gets dimmer and dimmer implying there are not lights in this part of the building. But it also helps cut down on animation. But they find the mecha, Ventronic, from Season 3.

Scene 35: Hank and Dr. O talk and Dr. O guides Hank back to reality before Dean accidentally stumbles in the dream, gets beaten by Hank’s alters before being saved by Hank. I really really wish this was expanded on in a bit of a more creative and engaging, sorta adventure type of way. I see a lot of potential. I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I saw Puss in Boots 2: The Last Wish, but I was hoping it would be similar to that. I loved how Dean accidentally got himself tangled up in that for a few seconds before they exited the coma dream... but similar to my last sentence, I truly wish that it was expanded upon. It didn’t feel as satisfying, especially with how hurt Hank was by this betrayal. Furthermore, while Dr. O was a pivotal role in getting to Hank’s coma-dream, I wish it was Dean who brought him out by directly talking to him. Even when they did talk...

Scene 36: They bring Hank out of the coma-dream but notice that the Ven-Tech building is falling from the sky. I’m prolly gonna get into a whole discussion on how to fix this later, but this scene is one of the furthest things from satisfying to me. Which sucks. Hank gets out of his coma-dream and apologizes to Dean about his alter’s beating him up. Dean said he kinda deserves it. But Dean doesn’t apologize to him??? uhhhhhhhhhhh. He wrote a whole ass letter and read it to his brother when he was in a coma, but he never heard any of it so like... even a short sorry would have been something? Or like ‘hey I wrote a letter about the situation and thought you should know. I read it to you while you were in your coma but you probably didn’t hear it, so let me just say I’m sorry...’ IDK it just didn’t sit right with me that Hank was the only one who apologized. Maybe he was going to go into it, but Hank asks about their father and Brock, and then they get interrupted by the falling building so...

Scene 37: This sequence is a call-back to that one episode in Season 3. It was unexpected, but welcome! I enjoyed it at least. The Ventronic and OSI save the building from crash-landing on earth. Instead, it safely lands right where the old Ven-Tech building used to be in Denver, Colorado. Where Jefferson, Dr. O, Hank and Dean are able to go.

Scene 38: Malcolm climbs out of the robot and is crushed by the statue of Jonas Venture, needing immediate medical attention. Ben rushes to the scene, claiming that he can help.

Scene 39: Invisible Debra and Sheila analyze the DNA test results from Malcolm and Rusty- confirming that they are clones instead of brothers. I’m not sure why they chose to be invisible?? Another budget saving technique maybe.

Scene 40: Rusty and Malcolm get the news that they are clones and Rusty’s donation of blood helps Malcolm’s operation succeed. Malcolm is bummed that hes a clone and Rusty is more non-chalant and chuckling, saying that he should have expected this.

Scene 41: Brock, Sgt Hatred, Gary, Jefferson, Dr. O and even H.E.L.P.eR. 2 hang out in the living room area when Ben comes in to deliver the news that they are clones of Jonas. He also notes that Malcolm has 25 baboon in his DNA to counter-act balding, but it made him more aggressive. His code name was also ‘R-22′ meaning there was more than 20 other versions of Rusty. Speaking of which, he comes in the room, looking for the twins so that he could ‘blow their little minds...again.’ His reaction seems a lot more upbeat and light-hearted.

Scene 42: Malcolm sulks in his operation bed until Sheila comes in through the window, still invisible. She cheers him up and this is prolly one of my fave scenes of them, they’re awesome together. Nevertheless, I still felt like it was a short scene of one of my fave duos on the show.

Scene 43: Ben gives Hank a watch that Jonas gave him before Rusty was born. He also tells Hank that “Blood doesn’t choose your family, love does. Your grandpap knew that.” Its a very interesting quote, because it tells a different side to the Jonas Venture we’ve learned about throughout the series. Like, I kinda find it hard to believe Jonas would do such a thing LOL. Anyways, this is a really nice moment. I wonder why they included a watch with 2 different time zones. I’m soooo curious to the back story of the watch. Nevertheless, I still wish we had more closure to Hank and Dean’s plotline.

Scene 44: Dean talks with Rusty and asks him who their mother is. Rusty doesn’t give him an answer, saying, “I don’t even know who my mom is!” Before assuring him that, “All you need to know is that the person who gave birth to you loves you.”  And Dean hugs him. I don’t like Rusty but moments like these give me hope that if the show continued, we’ll have more human moments for him. Rusty’s dad prolly never hugged him, so I’m glad Dean’s getting at least a lil more hugs. Unfortunately, none from Rusty to Hank :(

Scene 45: Malcolm’s return. Malcolm enters the room, announcing that he will continue arching Venture, using the revelation of his bloodline and genetics as fuel for his hatred. But first, Brock gets him an Uber.

End Credits

Scene 46: Post credit scene. This scene is set in the past, showing Rusty using a synthetic womb to carry Hank and Dean when they were fetuses. H.E.L.P.eR. is in the background singing a lullaby and preparing cribs for the babies[This single-handedly makes me appreciate and love H.E.L.P.eR. even more <3] Rusty’s watch goes off, saying ‘Wake the boys.’ And he says that the boys are ‘about done.’ This basically implies that he’s the one who technically gave birth to them, despite Debra giving him the other reproductive stuff he’d need to create them.

End of Movie Notes

Yeah, so... that was that... Again, the movie just had too much to pack into it, which was just a result of the unfortunate limitations. I truly wished that they had at LEAST 2 hours to make the whole thing, then we would have had much more satisfying character moments. I was the most disappointed with how Hank and Dean’s storyline played out, but considering the limitations the writers had on this project, they did a fantastic job. It could have been much much worse and handled poorly. All in all, it was a good send-off. Too good, since its leaving the fans wanting more. If there’s any way to petition or write physical letters to an organization or anything, I would support that in a heartbeat. I’d send a letter a week or whatever it takes to show my undying support (as you can see, I write a lot, so these letters would be long AFFF). As you can see, I’m still a big fan and would love to see Venture Bros continue, there’s just too much unexplored territory in this story, it’d be a shame for it to go to waste! Depending on my schedule this week, I will write a follow up to this, writing about how I would go about concluding the story for Dean and Hank.

Go, Team Venture!!

#venture bros #venture bros movie #spoilers

[roninkairi]

Quick Review- "The Super Mario Bros. Movie" (SPOILERS ALERT)

Anyone who knows me already knows how much of a Mario fan I am. Hell, my family could probably tell you some wild tales about my Super Mario Bros. addiction during my grade school days. But even the announcement in 2018 that Nintendo was going forward with Illumination to make an animated feature length film based on their flagship franchise made me more that a little overly cautious; after all their previous effort (the live action 1993 film) did not exactly do them ay favors either (and while were at it, the TV shows, while memorable, still leave much to be desired). This also is not the first time that the Mario Bros. would be in an animated film (Back in 1986, there was an anime called “The Great Mission To Rescue Princess Peach!”, which never got a US release. Doug Walker actually reviewed it so if you want you can look it up)

Fast forward to now. The movie has now made about $600 million at the time of this review and has yet to be released in Japan. I have a feeling though that after it is released it will make a lot more. And I’m not just saying that because I’ve personally seen this movie twice. That’s something I very rarely do as far as my movie theater habits go  and if I do that its most assuredly a sign the movie in question is worth my time.

“The Super Mario Bros. Movie” serves as an origin story for the two Brooklyn born plumbers, the plot being straightforward and simple much like the mainline Mario games: the two siblings somehow find themselves whisked away into another parallel dimension and get separated, with Luigi ending up in the Dark Lands and Mario landing in the Mushroom Kingdom. Mario enlists the aid of Princess Peach and, along with Toad, sets off to save Luigi from Bowser, the king of the Koopa tribe, who just acquired the Super Star. The group journey to the Jungle to enlist the aid of the Kong Army, led by Cranky Kong and his son, Donkey Kong.

As I mentioned before, the plot is pretty straightforward and to the point: at 92 minutes there is quite a bit going on and it comes at you fast. Not too much time is spent on character development for certain individual members like Luigi and DK. We get a revelation about Peach’s backstory (not being from the Mushroom Kingdom is certainly an eye raising reveal) and hints about the relationship between DK and his dad, but its not really a focus. You get the sense that Nintendo wanted to play it safe with the story, but at the same time you want just a little bit more. Thankfully the story is enjoyable as it is, and has enough humor, action and equally touching moments to sustain itself. A lot has been said about the choices for casting in the film and for me, while the choice of Chris Pratt was very questionable when I first heard about it I was glad I took a wait and see stance to it. He did quite a good job in the role and so did Jack Black as Bowser in all of his evil, kinda hammy. Scene chewing role. Of course, his demeanor changing whenever the subject of Princess Peach being brought up is also VERY notable. I mean dude practically sung a love ballad about her (TWICE) and stole the damn Super Star just to try to impress Peach. I can understand that though, given how she is in the movie. Princess Peach, voiced by Anya-Taylor Joy, serves as Mario’s guide and possible love interest in the movie and instead of being the person who has to be saved for most of the adventure, is the more action oriented and confident character accompanying Mario. If the prospects of Peach jump kicking Bowser, using power ups and generally willing to throw down with a gang of Koopas at a wedding reception seem to be alien to you or out of character, I will assume you have never played Super Mario Bros. 2…

…or Super Mario RPG…

…or Super Paper Mario…

…or any Mario Party games…

…or Mario Strikers…

…or Super Smash Bros…

…or the Mario + Rabbids games.

You’re lucky I didn’t even mention the stuff she did in the Super Mario Adventures manga! Anyway the point is, she is pretty darn awesome in this film. Fred Armisen’s take on Cranky is…well…ok why does he sound like Larry David? I half expected to hear "Frolic" by Luciano Michelini play when he got caught oy the Para Koopas on Rainbow Road.

Visually, the movie is animated very well and does a great job of animating the worlds in great detail, including familiar locations from across the games that you may immediately recognize. There are also TONS of audio and visual easter eggs and references not just from Mario history, but Nintendo history as well. (Quick show of hands, who found the Wave Race reference? The Hidden N64 Controller? Who found Mr. Game and Watch or recognized Disk Kun) The movie happily, and with no shame, throws in all of these nods to Nintendo’s past and I have no issue trying to find them all. Which says a LOT about my attention span. There are 4 different licensed songs used in the movie though but their inclusion doesn’t really detract from the enjoyment. (Ok 5 songs. One of them is directly tied to Chris Pratt and another certain movie series he is involved with.)

The movie is not exactly perfect and that’s ok. I was not expecting a huge scale thought provoking movie that makes me question the motivations of humanity (I’ll save that for whatever DC movie comes out next) I just wanted a fun adventure anyone and everyone can enjoy. And this movie certainly delivers on that.

#the super mario bros. movie #movie review

[drowning-moonlight]

My review for Shazam! Fury of the Gods

transcript below the cut

Shazam 2 was fine, you guys are just mean.

I thought it was good. Not really, really good. But good. I really liked the first Shazam. I liked it enough to see it three times in the theaters and even buy the DVD. Yes, people still watch those. And while I liked Fury of the Gods, I’m not sure if I would buy the DVD. I saw it twice but I don’t have plans to see it another time. Maybe I will, maybe not. I’ve seen a lot of people and critics really not like it but I don’t think it was that bad at all. Just not as good as the first one. I’m going to get into some spoilers so if you haven’t seen it yet and don’t want to know what happens, click away! So something I didn’t care for with this new Shazam was how little screen time the young actor for Billy received. Like Asher Angel was in maybe five scenes in the entire movie, which I think was a shame. Young Billy was there towards the beginning of the movie and a few scenes at the end but not hardly at all in the middle. I just would have liked a better balance between adult Billy and teenage Billy. Also, one of his struggles in the movie was his fear of aging out of the foster care system, meaning that once he turns 18 in a few months, Victor and Rosa won’t get checks from the government anymore, which will make him feel like a burden the way Mary does. This is only mentioned briefly like twice and I thought it could make for some interesting conflict so I was a little disappointed that that was resolved so easily. I mentioned Mary and her conflict was about her feelings about being an adult and wanting to get a job to help support the family. In the first movie, she wanted to go to college but expressed doubts about that when Billy saved her from getting hit by that truck. She wanted the campus experience but felt bad about leaving the family. But in this movie, she didn’t go to college at all but still studies textbooks. I don’t understand why they didn’t just have her get an online degree. You can go to school completely online nowadays and not have to move so that seems like a simple solution to her problem so I don’t know why that’s such a conflict for her in the second movie. I mean it’s not that much of a conflict because it’s only mentioned two or three times, but still. This is definitely what I liked about the first movie far more for is that it was more character driven, for the most part. Fury of the Gods is definitely more plot driven than character driven. Okay the first one was plot driven but also had a lot of character driven elements as well. If you take out Sivana from the first Shazam, even if you take out all of the magic stuff, there is still all of the conflict with the family and Billy trying to find his mom and all of that. If you take the magic and Daughters of Atlas out of Fury of the Gods, well there’s not much more to the movie, because a lot of the characters’ conflict between each other is only briefly mentioned a handful of times. I just wish it focused more on Billy’s fear of aging and Mary wanting to actually feel like an adult and Freddy wanting to be more independent and so on and so on. The other three kids didn’t really get much of an arc. They showed Eugine trying to map out the magic door room which I thought was cool and Pedro finding cool stuff like Steve the pen in the library. Darla got a cat named Tawny, you know like the tiger from the comics. I did like that they unequivocally confirmed that Pedro is gay. So in the first Shazam, there’s a scene where they go to a strip club and he says that’s not really his thing. Many fans took this as a hint that he could be either gay or asexual. Well in Fury of the Gods, he comes out as gay to the family and they all say that they already knew and that they loved him and that scene was very heartwarming and it still makes me smile. Especially with how wishy-washy a lot of films - especially superhero films - are when it comes to confirmed lgbt characters. Anyone remember how Marvel refused to confirm Valkyrie as bisexual in the third Thor movie? (I know there was a gay man in Eternals but I didn’t watch that movie sooo…) I’m just glad Pedro was able to flat out say, “I’m gay” to his whole family and the audience, leaving no room for misinterpretation or denial. Anyway, I don’t really have a whole lot more to say. I like the movie but I didn’t really like the movie, you know? This didn’t end up being much of a review but whatever. Oh wait! I did want to mention that Wonder Woman showed up! And not just as a headless cameo like Superman at the end of the first Shazam. (although there was a dream scene where Billy goes on a date with Wonder Woman but it never shows her face) Anyway, at the end of Fury of the Gods, Gal Gadot herself shows up and sort of brings Billy back from the dead. It was nice to see her again but I have to wonder how this might play into the new DCU that James Gunn is planning. Is Shazam - is this particular version of Shazam - going to be in Gunn’s DCU in the future?? I don’t know. I know the actor for older Billy, Zachry Levi, said that it would most likely depend on how well Fury of the Gods does at the box office so… unfortunately it doesn’t seem likely that we’ll see him again actually.

#shazam! #shazam fotg #shazam fury of the gods #billy batson #dc comics

[munchflix]

MUNCHFLIX - HELLRAISER (2022)

IMDB BLURB: A take on Clive Barker's 1987 horror classic where a young woman struggling with addiction comes into possession of an ancient puzzle box, unaware that its purpose is to summon the Cenobites.

WARNINGS: Gore, sex, butts, flesh suits, drug use, addiction themes, and general Clive Barker levels of weirdness. GIFs under the cut contain gore-type stuff

RATING: HAWT.

Munch: I've already seen this twice. I would happily see it six more times. And I might.

Biscuits: We have already both seen this, we watched it together but we're gonna watch it again for Munchflix and pretend we haven't seen it.

M: And Biscuits is gonna play with slime and combat his crippling margarita addiction.

B: I'm not an alchoholic.

M: Denial is the first stage. We open in Belgrade, Serbia. I don't know why.

B: I don't know what Serbia has to do with it. There's a lady picking up a mysterious package from a random guy. She's shopping on behalf of Mr. Voight. And then we're at some weird party which is being put on by Mr. Voight.

M: And then there's this hunky twink guy. I think he's possibly a sex worker. There's some people just fucking in the corner. He comes and talks to the mystery woman from earlier, we can't tell if he's just really into cougars or just really out of place at the party. They establish that Mr. Voight would be really happy to meet this guy.

B: He's into twinks, apparently.

M: Or murder! Probably murder, this IS a Hellraiser movie.

B: And if you DO drugs, you go to hell before you die.

M: The twink gets access to the super secret puzzle box vault and we see the Lament, which is fucking BITCHIN' in this movie. It has so many cool ass phases and for once, c-gen is on my side, even though most of the effects on the box look practical. I'd love to know which it is. Either way, I love it. It's really cool to see the box get to do something more than just rotate once and then shoot out cheesy electricity.

Fun box, oh fun box, small and square and dark.

B: The Twink is like hey this is a really cool puzzle box thing you have, mind if I tinker with it? The Twink is like - hey if I solve it do I get a prize? and rich guy is like, I do! And this sets off NO red flags for this twink guy. He gets stabbed. UH OH.

M: Well that's what he gets for playing with demonic puzzle boxes in basement of a rich weirdo's mansion. I mean...the warning signs were here. Now he's going on a magical drug trip and the box is reconfiguring, and oopsie daisy...there's chains coming out of a hell place.

B: Is it inappropriate to put Fleetwood Mac's The Chain on a hellraiser playlist?

M: I'm not sure there are like...a lot of appropriate songs to put on a hellraiser playlist, but I put Rub Some Bacon on It on a Hannibal playlist so...I might not be the right person to ask.

B: He should've just rubbed some bacon on the Lament.

M: I wonder what would happen if you just like....used fake blood on it. Like stab a pig with the Lament. Would the Cenobites be like super pissed or just like, well - gotta take this pig to Hell!

B: *makes a margarita anyway* so Voight is praying to what we assume is the cenobite god, Leviathan, while the twink slowly perishes in the background and OH SEX.

M: This line kills me though...How's my speed? Is it good? WHO ASKS THAT DURING SEX? So we're introduced to Riley and her boyfriend Trevor who we kept calling Tim. And her brother and his boyfriend and their nondescript roommate.

Note: Munch specifically requested that I not make a gif of him saying this line, so I took a screenshot of it instead :)

B: Her roommate...exists. And there's Colin - fuck, Colin is such a gay name. Might as well have named him Sebastian. Or Preston. Francis. I can say this because I'm gay.

M: Okay but Colin is a mensch, he deserves better than what he gets but no spoilers.

B: Riley's overprotective brother Matt doesn't like Trevorimothy, because he seems like a junkie dude and Riley is a recovering addict.

M: These two obviously have a very healthy relationship. Riley blames everyone for her problems and Matt is a controlling douche so...

B: But Matt is right. No spoilers though. Timmy is bad. So Riley goes to hang out with her shitty boyfriend Tyler but he has an IDEA. They're gonna go steal a thing. And make lots of money. He knows of an abandoned storage unit that has a billionaires shit in it.

M: This is not at all suspicious. This part of the movie really confused me. It will make sense later but right now it's like, why did they ever think this was cool.

B: This guy looks like Chris Evans if they turned the Chris Evans slider down to like...50 percent.

M: *laughs* You right...you right.

50% opacity Chris Evans

B: Riley looks SO much like this girl I went to high school with, it's bugging me out.

M: Riley immediately abandons sobriety and starts boozing it up right before they go break into this storage unit, because that's a stunningly good idea.

B: The first step of a good heist is getting shitfaced.

M: So inside the storage unit, there is a single storage container. Which contains a single tiny vault, and inside that vault there's a BOX and inside that box there's another box but it's THE box. And again, none of this seems at all weird to Riley.

B: As the old saying goes, that's a bit sussy.

M: So hey here's the Lament, and we're gonna just take this. I'm sure it's worth something. It does have this like vantablack spot on it that I love because it just looks like a portal to nothing.

B: Matt and....Colin, are laying in bed, tits out, reading poetry to each other. This is what gay men do. They lay in bed and read Byron. But Riley is back.

M: And Matt is NOT gonna let this go. He's gotta go out there and yell at her. She's obviously drunk and lying about it but there's gonna be a fight.

B: Shitty apartment? This doesn't seem like that shitty of apartment! There's five bedrooms, Riley! But he's like, I don't care that you broke your elbow, and he kicks her out.

M: Colin is like, no don't go but Riley is outskie. She's gonna go make some BAD DECISIONS, that are gonna involve beating up her car, taking drugs and messing with a hellbox.

B: It looks like she walked like...a block away. She walked down the street to her car. Get out of my house! Okay fine! *walks down the street* She finds her secret stash of pills and pours them on the street and then is like, no wait I want my drugs.

M: Way better to be high while you're summoning demons, right? She downs three pills of unknown substance and goes and sits in the kiddie park a block away from her apartment to be all high and solve the Lament.

B: Ooh, the parts move. It's a puzzle! At least in this movie it does stuff.

M: I'm obsessed with this thing. Riley worries that she broke it but then immediately twists it up again. A blade pops out but somehow she avoids getting cut by it. This is gonna make some cenobites very unhappy. And then whoooooo the drugs kick in. For the record, if you haven't taken something in a long time, like say percocet, and then you pound three at once, you're gonna get high as shit. And not in a fun way.

B: And then pinhead is here and is like - that was your blade. This is my blade! It was meant for me! And then they literally open a hole into Riley.

M: I actually thought this was really cool. Basically turning her into a human Lament.

B: And the chains shoot out and grab Matt but nah, he's okay. Then he's like I gotta go find my sister. I don't gotta call her, she's only a block away from the house.

M: She literally is! Her car's right there! Oh shit there she is on the merry go round! That was easy. He grabs the box and accidentally stabs himself.

B: I don't know how he didn't notice the giant blade sticking out of it. Then he's like - I gotta go wash my hand right now in this stank ass bathroom. Oh yeah the box like, absorbs the blood in this one and then it starts moving on it's own.

M: We will later learn it is reconfiguring itself for a reason, because there's like 7 levels you gotta get through to get the cracker jack prize but no spoilers.

B: Oh yeah there's blood coming up out of the drain like that scene in IT, and then whoops! Hell.

M: Matt is seeing walls move around and Riley's still too stoned to know wtf is going on and then Matt SCRAEM. But she runs into the bathroom and he's gone.

B: The cops come and are like - you're high as fuck on drugs. Nothing seems out of the ordinary tho. Riley's like - oh, I know nothing. I was dead at the time. Leave me alone. Also hey there's my puzzle box.

M: Colin and roommate....Nora? Laura? Who knows. Anyway, they really wanna know where the fuck Matt is but Riley is telling them about hallucinatory monsters and bleeding hands and he went into the bathroom and just disappeared!

B: No spoilers but the roommate chick isn't that important to the movie.

M: Riley makes another good decision to run away to Treve's apartment but he's showering all sexy like so it's time for some more banging!

B: She's like no we must have sex immediately. She didn't even bring her stuff in.

M: Timbo is wildly unconcerned about his speed this time but it's moot because she's seeing cenobites.

Chatterer likes to watch

B: The one hallucination in this movie, but at least there's NO DETECTIVES.

M: I would not have loved this movie so much if there were detectives. I don't care if they were the coolest most well written detectives in the world.

B: Riley is like - hey check out this box we stole and Timmy is like - OH FUCK NO because he's a bad guy but no spoilers.

M: So they decide they gotta go figure out things about the box so they go this like hospice place to talk to Serena, the cougar from the beginning who got the box for Voight.

B: She's got cancer now or something now? We don't know why. They're like - we'd like to talk to you about our lord and saviour jesus christ.

M: But not really, they found a box and they'd like information, now! Too bad they're not detectives, they could be sitting this woman at a metal table with a single lamp playing good cop bad cop. It'd be epic. Best hellraiser movie ever.

B: But Serena does kinda know because she worked for Voight and she's like - no that box is pure evil. Trombo is being super rational right now and being like - Riley no we should really not be getting mixed up in all this box shit but Riley does not care.

This shot of the box moving inside the bag is pretty cool though.

M: Serena is harbinging really hard right now, telling them all about Voight seeing things and doing some evil shit. And then Serena is like - hey I'm just gonna take this hellbox because it's bad but then they fight over it and it gets turned again.

B: And then Serena gets stabbed which means she's gonna get dragged to hell now because that's how it works.

M: I actually have so many questions about how it works. Getting stabbed just sentences you to hell no matter what kind of person you were? There's no nothing, just helldeathpain forever because you got a cut? That's kinda fucked up.

B: I mean, the rules were pretty loose in the other films.

M: They never really do explain it very well in any of the mythos tbh. Draw your own conclusions. Meanwhile! Serena is about to have a very bad time because in this movie, getting stabbed means you goin' to hell. Riley and Tilda have fucked off to do..something else. And we get our first FUCKING TERRIFYING LOOK at the cenobites. This wheezing motherfucker is so scary to me. This death rattle noise and the exposed lungs, oh my god.

Nice lungs!

B: But the rotating torture pillar is back. And more cenobites!

M: I love that they are still very bondagey but they're literally clothed in flesh, it's honestly just the neatest thing to me. I love the look of the new ones.

B: She's looking up information about Mr. Voight on a search engine that looks like google but totally is not and she finds out that he disappeared under mysteeeeeeeeeerious circumstances, because of course he did. And a picture of his freaky millionaire house. Trevor is outside having a uh...phone call.

M: Apparently Voight was kinda kinky too, but we're not really surprised to hear that. Serena has also mysteriously disappeared.

B: It's been a minute since I had alchohol! When we did hellraiser revelations I was so drunk. Riley has deduced that the box is up to something. Colin is calling! Colin's callin. *snort laugh* Nobody appreciates my dad jokes. Colin is like Riley come back but she's not gonna because she's a woman on a mission and that mission is to uh....uh...do some shit with this box.

M: She accuses Trimothy of not believing her but he does, and he really does because he's fucking sus, and I'm kinda mad because I was rooting for him the whole movie. He's like the only dude who makes any sense in this movie.

B: Riley naturally drives all the way out to this crazy kinky ass millionaires sex mansion because that's a good idea.

M: She's made only good decisions this entire movie. I get that there's some allegories here about addiction but also, this box is obviously bad news and this millionaire guy was also obviously bad news. Riley just happens to find the one tiny window into this creepy lament configuration looking metal maze around the entire mansion. Natch.

B: *back with another margarita* what's happening?

M: *dies laughing*

B: She got into the mansion, okay. We got the house in a cage, we don't want it to get away.

Despite all its rage, it is still just a house in a cage.

M: Gotta keep my sex dungeon safe. Riley does what anybody in a horror movie would do and immediately just starts messing with shit. What does this switch do??? What does this one do??? Oh that one opens and closes weird doors. This one opens the skylight to Leviathan, god of Hell! Nifty.

B: Now she can unlock the front door. For reasons. She's gonna be like, yo Travis you gotta come see this shit. Oh yeah and she finds his creepy study which is totally intact and full of weird drawings of cenobites and tons of information just laying out about the box and hell for her to find.

M: Serena cleaned out his estate but not very well, apparently. We learn that Voight is well aware of the cenobites and box and all the configurations of the box. Each level represents a favor of some sort that can be curried from Hell if you get it throught all six configurations but no spoilers. I'd really love to see what all of these looked like.

B: And then she sees her dead brother but I guess she doesn't really know he's dead. He's just disappeared.

M: But it's not at all weird that he would also just be hanging out in the rich weirdo's mansion, but apparently he's missing some flesh and she's like OSHIT but then Colin and Troy and Roommate have all showed up.

B: How convenient. Riley is not leaving though, and Colin's gonna give her a pep talk. Riley wtf are you doing running off and running around abandoned mansions? Oh and Tony and ...N..ora are gonna go fuck around for a minute but this is actually important.

M: We know this movie is kinda slow, but believe me, the payoff at the end is fucking amazing. Stay with it.

B: Stuff happens. Trust us. Colin notices that Voight has a fuck dungeon. That's not really relevant. Now Nora is gonna do what people in a horror movie do and just press all these random weird switches! What could possibly go wrong! While Todd is drinking in the bathroom.

M: Nora opens a secret passage, because of course he has that. Colin is getting a quick overview of the lore.

B: The box offers a reward to whoever finishes it. Life, knowledge, love, sensation, resurrection, power. Long ago the six nations lived together in harmony....

What’s your pleasure, sir?

M: I'd really love to know like...what any of these are. Is knowledge just like infinite knowledge of pain? Is life just like eternal suffering? Wtf does resurrection do?

B: Who knows but if you have the final configuration the cenobites are like - what you want fam? And you're like uh....McDonalds. What if the guy...he...like..uh...

M: You good?

B: I was trying to come up with a joke. Riley was like - hey maybe the box can resurrect Matt - and Colin should have been like - wait, Matt's dead? Nora is trapped in the creepy secret tunnel and Taylor is like wtf. Nora's just like - hey just flip those random switches until it opens up again.

M: Again with the really good decisions. Riley has LOST THE BOX. That's probably bad. Someone else has it. It's Veidt. I meant Voight. He stabs Nora in the back with the box, and again I have some questions about how this box thing works. Who is it working for? Voight? Riley?

B: I think it's just working. I don't think it cares who gets stabbed and who's doing the stabbing, it's just like BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD. Everyone is like Nora are you okay and she's like NO I GOT STABBED. Colin pulls it out and now she's bleeding profusely because that's what happens.

M: Nora is like - there's a man in the walls btw, but they gotta get her to the hopstita. Riley of course, grabs the box. Because i'm sure it'll be helpful. Everyone piles into Tate's van and they get going. But not really. Because portals are opening behind and in front of them and suddenly the road is going nowhere because that's how Hell do.

B: They don't know where they're going, or they do but it doesn't matter. Meanwhile, Nora is fucking dying.

M: I love this elongated shot effect to show that the doors to the other realm or whatever are opening. It's very effective for an old trick. Nora is suddenly very alone and not in the van. Oh and there's cenobites. MY BOY.

B: Lookit this dude. It's the teeth chattering guy from Hellraiser. The most overrated cenobite ever.

M: You're gonna get some hate for that.

B: He's overrated as fuck. They had to put him in like every movie. But also, the other cenobite everyone knows. That one with the pins in their head.

M: Excuse you, her name is HELL PRIEST. Also she is cool as fuck. She looks amazing. Girl, your glow up. I really enjoy the changes, they're much like the book versions. Pinhead is playing this girl's throat like an instrument by sticking her head pins in there and making Nora scream, which is really fucked up and also very cool.

B: Oh yeah, blood, and then Pinhead looks directly at Riley in the mirror and then Nora's entire back falls off, all of it, just blech. And now Nora's gone, she exploded into blood in the back of the van. How you gonna explain this to the police??? Why is all her blood in the back of your car? Uh...we don't know.

M: Riley blames herself but Ted is like, listen this is not the most pressing issue right now. Maybe we should go back to the house, because otherwise it's the wilderness or the endless road. Colin and Terrance are getting into an argument while Riley just runs off and is like HEY FUCK THIS BOX I'M GONNA THROW IT.

B: Pinhead's like, no don't. Also have you given any thought to resurrecting your brother? Who we killed. Because we could do that.

M: Just kill two more people and we'll totally give your brother back, it's cool. But Riley is like no that's bad so Pinhead makes the box stab her so now she's gotta or she's gonna go to hell.

B: Sacrifice some more bitches or it's you! We're super short on bitches down here. Not enough motherfuckers. Also you've got two homies left right here!

M: I do feel for Colin, he really just like got dragged into all this shit and now everyone is dead and Riley might be coming to kill him. Also the earth just opened up and the 10 foot tall Chattery boy is now after them so they HAVE to run to the mansion and Colin is busy failing his wisdom save.

He’s one hell of a unit.

B: Meanwhile the chatterer dude is pinning Tanner and Riley behind a gate and Riley is like, well I could kill Tanner but she stabs the chatterer instead.

M: I love Pinhead's tiny tiny malicious smile there. This surprised the hell out of me. So it's goodbye chatterer because apparently it really doesn't matter who you are as long as you get stabbed. Meanwhile the box is assuming it's second to last form.

B: Colin is like WTF DO WE DO NOW. Also Tucker got his arm half bit off so he's kinda bleeding out all over now. Colin at least has the wherewithall to close the door.

M: The cenobites cannot pass through the magical bronze gate things in and around the fuck mansion for some reason. I don't know why, they're magical beings.

B: Magical anti cenobite properties. They tourniquet him to stop the bleeding, and we've talked at length about the dangers of those things. Riley conveniently finds very strong drugs right next to where Trent is bleeding to death but she's gonna let Colin hold on to them. Seems like it should be a Chekov's gun but it's not. MA THERE'S A WEIRD LOOKIN' CENOBITE OUTSIDE.

M: Blink, motherfucker. Some of them don't even have eyeballs, I mean....but they are just standing there....menacingly. Outside the mansion. Waiting for...something. Riley is gonna come up with a plan. Plans are neat.

B: Oh but here's the part where we get the plot twist, Travis was actually a BAD GUY! Voight is here and he's got some weird ass device going through him. Just straight through him.

M: On my first viewing, I was like that is hokey as FUCK but then we find out it's literally playing his nerves like a music box and that's honestly hardcore as hell.

B: All you had to do was follow the plan! You gotta do the box thing for reasons, Toby, you should have opened it yourself. The point here is that Theo was siding with the bad guy all along so now we can't root for him anymore.

M: He did kinda orchestrate this whole thing and put like, tons of people in danger and get a lot of people killed. Riley is just like - well it worked on Chatterer so we're just gonna stab more cenobites with it. But first we gotta figure out how to let only of them inside the mansion so we can stab it. Riley and Colin still don't know that Tyson is bad and he's sitting there on the floor bleeding to death.

B: I don't know why he's sitting on the floor, it's his arm that's injured. So they're literally just gonna open the front doors and Terry is gonna flip switches so they can let in just ONE cenobite. Colin's like - this is a bad idea, which probably, yeah, it is.

M: Riley's just gonna walk out there and be like psspsspss, come here cenobite. Come on! Just one of you tho! She tells Pinhead to take her and honestly, SAME. I am down. S tier forever.

B: Oh yeah this guy's arms just FUCKING OPEN UP, they just split in half. Nice, brutal, grody, I like it! But somehow only the gasping dying wheezing cenobite is coming inside.

M: Not at all sus.

B: They definitely don't know it's a trap. We'll just sacrifice this guy, nobody likes him anyway.

M: His breathy asthma noises are just keeping them all awake.

B: It seems very innocuous but then it suddenly breaks it's arms out of it's spine cage and takes off like a Romero zombie, but then it gets caught in the door and it's skin just PEELS OFF. This movie is nasty.

M: It so is and it's glorious. Also Riley dropped the fucking box outside of the door where the wheezing cenobite is caught all bleeding and gross so now Colin has to go get it but someone stabs him! It's Voight.

B: And suddenly Thaddeus is upset with him but Voight is like I don't fucking care. I like how he took the time to go put on a suit jacket. Get all dressed up for his meeting with Leviathan.

M: Riley is like WHAT THE FUCK, TRISTAN YOU USED US AND PEOPLE ARE DEAD and he's like - sorry.

B: Voight's gotta give us some exposition. What happened is obvious? It is NOT obvious, sir. He's like hey I'm rich and I've had like all the experience on the planet so I called up the cenobites and they were like hey so we're gonna put this device right through you to tear up your nerves for eternity.

M: He was seeking pleasure but he KNEW what the cenobites were so honestly...who's really at fault here.

B: You made a deal with the devil. After his entire monologue the configuration finally decided to change.

M: It was just being polite. Also, can I just say, maybe making ANOTHER deal with the devil isn't your brightest idea, eh?? Riley is screaming at Colin, who has been fucking stabbed, to get up and get going and Tyrone is like no stop.

B: All the blood coming out of the box and gravitates towards the weird Leviathan sunroof. I don't know why but it looks cool. Things running up always look cool.

Stuff running upwards always looks sick: known fact.

M: Meanwhile, actual Leviathan is descending on the fuck mansion, and Colin is running away.

B: Go back to your room young man and wait for the cenobites. I don't know what's going on with this mask guy. He doesn't have a head! This other cenobite shows up for like one scene, what's up with that?

M: Pinhead is like, well...guess it's time to go in now. Door's open, oh wait. No it's not.

B: Mister fucking bad guy closed the doors, and cenobites are like vampires apparently, you gotta invite them inside. And Voight is like pretty patties turned my face purple! Also I'm gonna try and hold the cenobites hostage.

M: Seems like a solid plan. Also yelling and cursing at them.

B: Riley manages to squeeze through the gate the wheezing cenobite is stuck in so it must not be closed that hard and she's got the box and she opens the doors which is bad for Voight but also Colin.

M: Exit stage left, pursued by cenobite. The gasp is now here and she's like well I have to kill you because you got stabbed by the box, no hard feelings.

B: She wraps some wire all around him that digs into his flesh, Riley hears him screaming and she's like no don't kill Colin!

M: Voight is trying to bargain with Pinhead to take the nerve device out of him but Pinhead is like, yeah nah. We worked hard on that thing.

B: Cenobites don't accept returns, but they do accept exchanges. No store credit. Like Gamestop, but Fleshstop. This scene has weirdly erotic undertones. Maybe overtones.

M: I don't think they're undertones at all. I think it's pretty intentionally erotic. One of the things I like about this Pinhead, she comes across as little bit more weirdly sexual.

Bark bark bark woof woof... respectfully

B: Riley is like well I gotta stab Tex to save Colin, and she does. Meanwhile Voight is having his device removed. He's throwing up blood and metal bits.

M: It's honestly hardcore. He's got a whole...hole through him but they magically knit him back together and it's a neat effect. It looks practical. Pinhead is like hey about that wish......and a gigantic chain comes down through the sunroof and impales him.

B: Meanwhile fuckin' Trombone is getting kind of flayed alive by the gasp cenobite but he was sus so it's okay.

M: It's no less than he deserves. Voight is getting pulled into the hellosphere and Pinhead finally says the iconic line. I would've loved to see more of the weird leviathan shit. Or just see the milkman show up but nobody's gonna get that reference unless they read the comics.

B: Read the manga, you fool. Riley and Colin are just...gonna leave I guess. Now that my horrific incident of terror is over, how about some breakfast?

M: Oh nah she's got a wish now too because she murdered her boyfriend.

B: I think it's like a bit of genie situation. Bit of a monkey's paw.

M: Ya think??

B: She sees her dead brother again.

M: After everything she's seen tonight, she's gotta be like nah. Just nah. And she does. And Pinhead is like well, your choice. Now you gotta live with the consquences of your actions!

The council will decide your fate.

B: You have selected casual bongos.

M: If I had to listen to casual bongos for eternity that might be hell. So Riley's punishment is just to go on living and be riddled with guilt and feel bad. Which is honestly kind of brutal. Reality is the harshest punishment. Way worse than being flayed alive for an eternity.

B: Riley and Colin do the morning after walk out of the mansion and Colin is like wtf just happened and she's like I made a choice and he's like NO I MEAN LIKE WITH ALL THE FUCKING FLESH MONSTERS AND SHIT HELLO?!?

M: He doesn't really but he should have. And now we see Voight and his penis all sacriligiously laid out inside what I assume is Leviathan getting his skin pulled off and all fucked up because apparently power means you're a cenobite now. I guess it beats the alternative? And Leviathan is just a big glittery diamond thing from inside.

B: His eyes turn into cenobite eyes.

M: Little bit of blasphemy but it's a very cool look. And the movie is over! Yay! I hope they make more. I want to know what some of this other shit does, yo. I want more fucked up flayed cenobites.

B: I want more...Pinhead. More of Jamie Clayton as pinhead. I'm gay but like....it's just an androgynous hell creature, it's fine.

M: Yes. I love that they didn't try to fucking emulate Doug Bradley and just let her do her own thang. It's very similar type of thing, very serious but also a little fucked up.

B: Her appearance is much more similar to the book versions.

M: It's wonderful.

B: I went into this movie thinking, when I saw Pinhead and I saw that they cast a woman as Pinhead, I thought maybe they were going back to the Kirsty Cotton lore but it didn't work out that way. It would've been kinda cool.

M: I actually wish they would've used some of that shit for the movies, ever, where Kirsty and Pinhead have this epic showdown and she becomes the Hell Priest. But instead we got detectives.

B: No detectives in this movie, 10/10. I am interested to see what the other gifts are from the configuration. I wanna see what cenobites think love is. It's not a perfect movie, but compared to some of the other Hellraiser movies, this shit is TOP TIER.

M: It's gory, it's got some twists that I didn't even see coming, it's fun and sexy and I loved it. I do think the cenobites were a wee bit overdone, but I like that they were clothed in flesh and so much of it looked practical. I like the scarification thing and I like the pieces of the lament kind of showed up in their designs.

B: I was kinda sad that they didn't bring back my boy butterball. Gasp was kind of based on the female cenobite but still.

M: That wheezing cenobite tho, ugh. It takes a lot to unnerve me but that thing did it. Still, 10/10, totally fucks.

B: Nonbinary Pinhead can get it.

M: It is here for the taking, baby. I'm gonna end this before it devolves into just us talking about how much we would bang the new Pinhead.

B: They horny for this one!

M: Munch and Biscuits out, yo.

#hellraiser #hellraiser 2022 #cenobites #jamie clayton #pinhead #lament #lament configuration #review #humor #munchflix #chatterer #gasp #hell #hell priest

[mage-hecked]

Alright I’ve been on that MODOK brainrot for over a month so I’m an expert now and need attention so here’s how I would’ve put him into the MCU.

•Personality-wise, a loser. An integral part of MODOK is that he is a loser. He’s still a genius in a too-smart-for-his-own-good way, and is egotistical, but has a solid sense of morality. His original name is George Tarleton

•Was working under Darren as a technician, is mentioned in the first movie and we get a scene in the second one(didn’t watch it, it had no MODOK so is irrelevant.) where he announces that he’s taken over the company and tells Hank that they’re gonna get his wife out of the Quantum Realm.

•Spoiler alert, Darren wasn’t the only shady motherfucker at the company, and George already started experimenting with minor ways to make himself smarter, so it’s not hard for shady people(Possibly Maria Hill if she doesn’t already exist in the MCU.) to get him to volunteer for an experiment to make him into a human computer.

•They assume he’ll die but he lives. He makes mobility aids so that he can get around and is honestly fine until they try to kill him when he’s in the lab. He panics and grabs an unstable shrink device, sending his ass to the Quantum Realm.

•Gets found by Kang and becomes MODOK both out of necessity and because he doesn’t trust anyone, his poor sense of judgment having gotten him screwed over twice. Never shows his real face and keeps his cool mask cause we don’t need to see his face to know he’s fucked up.

•Idk still dies but doesn’t claim to die as an Avenger cause that’s stupid. Has a thing of realizing he’s exactly like Darren now and has to change. Says something like “Let me die as Tartleton, as MODOK never should have lived” or something.

(I haven’t seen Quantumania cause I can’t bear to watch my boy get massacred. I’ve been studying him out of rage, but please please please correct me if i got something wrong or just throw in ideas cause I wanna imagine a world where things are good and CGI artists for big movies are all unionized and treated right and perhaps characters can properly evolve without being hastily thrown in to pretend the writers planned this shit.)

(We still see MODOK’s ass. The actor was so excited to add MODOK’s ass and I don’t wanna take that away.)

#MODOK #mechanical organism designed only for killing #george tarleton

[strangelock]

Taika Waititi Video Club [YouTube]

This is a partial transcript of the linked YouTube video; I wanted to grab the list of films for watching later and wanted his notes handy when I did.

Her Smell (2018)

- Elizabeth Moss. I haven’t even seen this movie but she’s got a small part in the film that I just shot in Hawaii [Next Goal Wins (2022)]. She’s a pretty good actor.

Leave No Trace (2018)

- Thomasin McKenzie, who’s in Jojo Rabbit (2019). She’s fabulous. You must see her. You’ve got to see it.

Stalker (1979)

- This is one of my favorite films. Fun fact: they had to shoot this film twice […] everything got destroyed by accident… maybe not?

Memories of Murder (2003)

- Bong Joon-Ho, Korea. Master director. One of my all time favorite films. […] Now he’s returning to his roots with Parasite (2019).

Akira (1988)

- (Aw, didn’t happen did it? Too bad; might still happen…)

Old Boy (2003)

- Excellent film; Park Chan-Wook, one of the greats; very disturbing twist in this film

Let the Right One In (2008)

- Young boy, who’s bullied a lot at school, discovers a strange girl who doesn’t have any where to live, doesn’t have any friends either, and she’s awake all night. You know why, she’s a vampire. Spoiler for you.

- A film that Jemaine and I always loved and it inspired us a lot when we were doing What We Do in the Shadows (2014).

- It’s also an inspiration for the relationship in Jojo Rabbit.

Fawlty Towers (1975)

- My favorite TV show, from England, one of the great all-time great comedies.

This Is Spinal Tap (1984)

- Had a big influence on What We Do in the Shadows.

Life of Brian (1979)

The Meaning of Life (1983)

- RIP Terry. So, the Monty Python was a thing that I would watch a lot when I was young.

The Producers (1967)

- Of course, this one here. More even than the film is this man: Mel Brooks was a big inspiration for what I was trying to do with Jojo Rabbit.

The Great Dictator (1940)

- It’s people like Chaplin and Brooks and Lubitsch [see, To Be or Not to Be (1942)].

- I’d already seen these films before and I’ve always loved them and always wanted to do something that had some humor and satire in it that was around WWII but what I decided to do when I came to make the film, and even when I was writing it, I decided not to watch any of these films. So I guess in terms of me being influenced, yes, and inspired, definitely, but inspired by the people who made the films

Jules and Jim (1962)

- This is why France is great. I’ve stolen the opening of Jules and Jim - the little moments with their montage and their history.

The 400 Blows (1959)

- Another big influence on Boy (2010) and my very first short film, Two Cars, One Night (2003).

Intouchables (2011)

- […] there was a little bit of an inspiration on my football film, Next Goal Wins.

Next Goal Wins (2014)

- It’s a documentary and I’m adapting it with Michael Fassbender, and Elizabeth Moss, and a bunch of friends of mine from New Zealand, and a lot of really great Polynesian actors from Hawaii, and from mainland America, and also from New Zealand, Australia—and it’s about them; it was like an ultimate underdog story of triumph of the will.

Green Lantern (2011)

- . . . . . . .

Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore (1974)

- So, Scarlett Johansson’s character in Jojo Rabbit is based a lot on Ellen Burstyn in this film because I think she’s one of the great single mothers of the cinema in that movie.

Hugo (2011)

- No one talks about this film to talk about Martin Scorsese. They talk about Hugo. I think this is one of his greatest films. And I think that was true what he was saying that he surrounded himself with a lot of women for his heads of department and the crew and everything because he didn’t know anything about women so he wanted to try and understand them.

This is England (2006)

- Shane Meadows. Bam, yes, I just absolutely adored and the only reason, I think, this film is what it is, is because of this kid.

The Graduate (1967)

- One of the great pornos ever made. Anne Bancroft, Dustin Hoffman, Katharine Ross in Mike Nichols The Graduate and I would say it’s consistently been in my top 5 films.

The Black Stallion (1979)

- This is an absolutely beautiful film about a boy and a horse on an island - you can imagine what happens.

Big Trouble in Little China (1986)

- Kurt Russell is what makes American cinema great. (I’ve never met him; maybe I don’t need to; they say don’t meet your hero’s and I don’t think I need to meet him but I want you guys to know: this is the guy.)

- One of the inspirations for Thor: Ragnarok (2017) was this film; we loved just the fun nature of that character and that’s something we wanted to try and emulate in Thor with Chris’s character.

Terminator 2: Judgement Day (1991)

- This is another inspiration on JoJo Rabbit—a little boy and his imaginary friend.

Time Bandits (1981)

- Terry Gilliam. Incredible film, very imaginative (maybe I’m doing something with that property as a show? Who knows.)

Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992)

- Most of the effects, if not all of them were in camera—silhouettes, shadows, animatronics—yes, the old-school, good old-fashioned special effects and it’s a beautiful story. I don’t know if you know about the story, but he went to battle, she thought he was dead, so she jumped out a window. He got back too late—she was dead—so, he blamed God.

Bottle Rocket (1996)

- The film that put him on the map.

Punch-Drunk Love (2002)

- Let me get it straight for you, ok, this is probably, for me, Adam Sandler’s great, great film—his best role. (Uncut Gems (2019), though, he turns it on its head; he’s incredible.)

- And for Paul Thomas Anderson, this is not the film that you’d really consider to be his, you know, his masterwork or what he’s known for. What am I saying? I guess I’m saying that I like the things that, you know, not so obvious.

Paper Moon (1973)

- Absolutely incredible; also father and daughter: Ryan O’Neal, Tatum O’Neal; and she won an Oscar for this role in this film. He didn’t turn up to the ceremony (jealous).

Harold and Maude (1971)

- By the great, Hal Ashby. He is one of the top American filmmakers—see everything he did.

The Last Detail (1973)

- One of my favorite one’s of his is actually the Last Detail with Jack Nicholson. Not many people, except people in cinema, of course, know about it, but it wouldn’t be the one that people automatically go to.

Coming Home (1978)

- Also one they don’t automatically go to is Coming Home, the least Hal Ashby of all of his films but it is the most beautiful.

Heavenly Creatures (1994)

- By order of the government, we must talk about Peter Jackson movies all the time. And Heavenly Creatures is, in my personal opinion, I think is his greatest film. (Not to take anything away from Lord of the Rings or those trilogies but this film, which also stars my very good friend, Melanie Lynskey—). This is one of the most inventive and incredible murder thrillers that I’ve ever seen; it’s very suspenseful and very disturbing but in a very cool way.

Goodbye Pork Pie (1980)

- A real New Zealand classic. It’s a great—I want to say road trip film—but it’s about a car trying to get from the top of the North Island of New Zealand to the very bottom and the cops are after them and it’s like Smokey and the Bandit and all those sort of car chase movies from back in the 70s and 80s; it sort of shares a lot of that.

Badlands (1973)

- This has inspired pretty much everything I’ve ever done.

Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (2003)

- (Can we just talk about Russell Crowe for a second because he is the greatest actor.) Consistently makes my top 10 list. Why? Because of Russell Crowe. It’s the way that he managed to take the audience and look after them just like he’s looking after his crew and you feel safe in his hands, you feel like you’re being looked after, you feel like you’re part of the crew and that you’re really out there on that boat.

- And I also think it’s a testament to Peter Weir’s filmmaking skills as well. He takes us on that journey and makes us feel that we’re actually there and that the stakes are high on the high seas.

- (I mean, I think I’ve seen Gladiator and Master and Commander probably a 100 times… Russell, Russell, Russell, I love you.)

BONUS: As Guest Curator for HBO Max, Taika picks:

Similarly, this was an Extra for S1E1: Pilot of Our Flag Means Death.

Happy Together (1997)

- By Kar-Wai Wong, a classic. Shot by the wonderful Christopher Doyle. I’ve always loved this film. I’m a huge fan of Kar-Wai Wong’s films. And Happy Together was one of the first ones I watched (yes, before In the Mood for Love (2000)). And it’s a love story—two guys are in South America, and they’re a long way from home, and it’s a very beautiful story about the pain that we put each other through when looking for love.

Princess Mononoke (1997)

- One of my favorites, if not my actual favorite of Miyazaki’s films. Show it to your little ones. Fun for the whole family.

The 400 Blows (1959)

- Classic Truffaut! This film is Truffaut’s first film—quite autobiographical. Absolutely beautiful story about a young boy navigating his way through the world and trying to find his place in this world and figure what he wants to do in life. Which as we all know from the times when we were young—it’s very hard. It’s very hard to know what you want to do. I still haven’t figured that out.

Clueless (1995)

- Another classic; one of my favorite films ever—sort of a modern take on Emma. About a girl that’s so great at matchmaking and great at bringing other people together and creating love between other people [and] has not left anything for herself.

#taika waititi

[the-underworld-aes]

Mafia 3

Okay so I’m gonna take the L and admit I’ve never played the other 2 games, I just watched the cut-scene movies on YouTube, and while I enjoyed the story and characters of the first 2, when I watched Mafia 3′s it DID something to me. So I actually went out and got the game so I can play it all myself.

First things first, I’m gonna wonder why people seem to hate this game so much until the day I die, sure it’s glitchy but not as bad as any Bethesda glitch I’ve seen and nothing game breaking, more or less just funny stuff like “lol that cop car exploded in the middle of the street. I’m gucci tho.”. I really like the time-period cause I actually like learning about the 60′s in American history because SO MUCH important stuff was set in motion back then. Others seem to not like how it’s nt focused on the Italian Mafia anymore and...sure?? I guess?? I mean they’re still there, you’re allied with some Italians while taking out the bigger Italian crime family (I think they’re mad that the protag is black and it’s an important part of the game tbh) And another complaint I see a lot is the games too repetitive, I think that’s the lamest excuse personally. I played this after I beat Far Cry 6, and honestly? It was NICE! I like being able to sneak and take people down, or just blow up everything!  Maybe it’s cause I’m autistic perhaps (ASD gang rise up!) but having a pattern was nice for me, I have a specific way of playing and it was fun. Hell, I’ve beat the game twice already cause it felt nice to play.

I know this game came out in 2016 and I’m way late to the party, I became aware of the Mafia series in 2021 and finally played Mafia 3 in March 2022. And I need to be physically restrained from playing it a third time lol.

Anyways onto the story and characters (SPOILERS BTW)

The story is so 😩👌💦💕 I love crime stories, I love historical fiction (sometimes...), I love seeing racists get CRUSHED, I love the time period, I love the music. It’s just AAHHHH so good!!!

Sure I guess a black Vietnam vet cruising around in 1960′s New Orleans isn't what you’d think when you imagine “American Mafia” but that’s a you problem at this rate, I’m having a great time.

I did like Tommy Angelo, and Vito Scaletta too, but Lincoln Clay is honestly my favorite of the 3 and I wish people looked at him and appreciated him more. Imma say something real controversial here: I know Vito is the fan favorite, he’s unofficially the face of the series now and while I DO LIKE HIM, I think... he makes a better side character in Mafia 3 (also low-key irritated Lincoln gets thrown to the wayside while everyone rushes to Vito). That’s just my personal opinion... also my man aged like milk, how is he 10 years younger than the Irish man dying of liver cancer and yet Burke has his hair color still while Vito looks so chewed up? lmao anyways yeah I do like Vito, when I pick up my kickback from him I always leave saying “Bye Peepaw!!”

Anyways, Lincoln comes back home from Vietnam and is ready to see his adopted family again, Sammy and Ellis Robinson (Father and Brother), Father James Ballard (Raised him in the orphanage before he got adopted and sticks around) and his other friends, Danny Burke and Giorgi Marcano. Without getting too much into it, Giorgi is the son of Sal Marcano, boss of the Marcano Crime Family (Which has power over Sammy Robinson and his Black Mob). Giorgi was friends with Lincoln, Ellis and Danny, but this whole time Sal had him playing the long game of eventually screwing them all over. It ends with Giorgi, Sal and an associate of the Dixie Mafia betraying them all after a job they did together (For Sammy to pay back Sal). Giorgi shoots Lincoln in the head, leaves him for dead, kills Danny, Richie Doucet (Dixie mafia) stabs Ellis to death and Sal shoots Sammy in the back. They burn down Sammy’s bar and in the flames Father James ran in looking for survivors and found Lincoln clinging onto life. Lincoln survives, but he lost his family, friends and was betrayed by someone he thought he could trust. And now he’s got the scar to prove it.

This ignites his revenge quest to wipe out the Marcano Crime family, and all the damage they’ve done to him, his community (Delray Hollow) and eventually the mess he’s made for his soon-to-be under bosses. And while he’s doing that he’s sworn to build up a crime family of his own and needs people he can fully trust.

When he’s recovering from the gunshot wound to the head, he tells Father James to call his old friend and contact from Vietnam, Donovan, who is currently working for the C.I.A. He drops everything and shows up willing to help Lincoln with his goal (btw their friendship is so great, it’s so sad Lincoln lost everyone but he’s got Donovan still and the writers did so great with their chemistry *chefs kiss*). While Lincoln’s recovering, Giorgi lets the Dixie Mafia move into Delray Hollow and turn it inside out. Donovan tracks down possible allies for Lincoln to get in touch with by the time he’s recovered.

The Under bosses:

Delray Hollow: Ran by Cassandra and her Haitian mob. (She’s also called the “Voodoo Queen” btw and she runs a Voodoo shop) You meet Cassandra  first and it’s a shaky start, Sammy’s Black Mob has been fighting with the Haitians beforehand so she has many reasons to not trust Lincoln, but since then now the Dixie Mafia took over, thanks to the Marcanos and is greatly harming the community with human trafficking and she wants them wiped out and she can’t do it alone. Cassandra has some painful history with the Dixie Mafia and she wants nothing more than to see them all dead.

River Row: Ran by Vito Scaletta and his Italian mob (that's loyal to him at least). After everything that happened in 2nd game, Vito found his way down here and had to work with Sal Marcano as one of his lieutenants, Vito’s miserable and Sal hates him but can;t do anything about it cause Leo Galante put him there. Sal did put Grecco, his nephew, into River Row to mess things up from the inside and make it look like Vito’s fault so Sal can finally have an excuse to put a hit out on him to not anger the Commission. Being screwed over and wanting to get back, Vito agrees to help Lincoln because this is personal for him too.

Point Verdun: Ran by Thomas Burke and his Irish mob. He did have a deal worked out with Marcanos prior, but at some point there was a failed shipment of Burke’s end and that made Sal insert someone else to take over his rackets, Barbieri, who brutally took over a crippled Burke’s leg. And after Danny, his son’s murder, Burke’s been spiraling into alcoholism and constant grief. He wants nothing more than to make Barbieri suffer for what he did to him and for the Marcanos to burn for murdering his son. Which makes him eventually side with Lincoln.

Thoughts and extra on the bosses: They all got folks that work under them as their own lieutenants, Cassandra has Emmanuel Lazare, Vito has Alma Diaz and Burke has his own daughter, Nicki Burke.  Unlike the other 2, Lincoln is actually friends with Nicki and they all used to hang out together. She’s mourning the loss of her younger brother and it’s clear there’s some tension between her and her father.

Nicki’s actually a lesbian and comes out to Lincoln, she even has a girlfriend. Burke already kind of knows somehow and does not approve of it, but they still have to work together, so it causes inner personal problems. ALSO SIDENOTE: It was kind of refreshing seeing gay characters in a crime based video game, Nicki is a lesbian, Lincoln is a supportive ally (may or may not be bi/pan himself cause of his response to Nicki after she asks him about his thoughts...) and in one of the DLC’s, there's a side character named Oscar who’s a gay Vietnam vet and Lincoln gives him a job at the renovated Sammy’s bar.

While they may be side characters, I still appreciated it, and because of that dialogue between him and Nicki, it does strongly suggest he might be bisexual, so I’m def taking it and running with it. You can play a bi protag at least and I love my bisexual headcanons.

The Main Antagonists:

Sal Marcano: Sal is the Don of The Marcano Crime family. He does have a pretty interesting history and how he got to where he is now. I won’t deny that, but he’s a master of fucking over people he works with just because they were deemed useless. He did it to Sammy, once Sammy was having problems with the Haitians and short on his kickback, that was his death sentence along with his sons. He was doing it to Burke, who had a shipment go missing and that was a sign he needed an immediate replacement. Working on Vito, who just hated him and was willing to mess up his whole rackets just so he can be allowed to put a hit on him. And let’s not forget his racism at all, he knowingly works with the Southern Union and the Dixie Mafia that do lynchings/hate crimes and specifically target the black folk in New Bordeaux. He keeps using slurs when talking about Lincoln. So...yeah. This dude sucks lol.

Giorgi Marcano: Sal’s only son and the Under boss of the Marcano Crime Family, unlike his dad, he was given his life on a silver platter and is a typical spoiled rich kid with a gun who thinks he owns everyone. Hey may have been Lincoln’s “friend” at one point, but either he was playing a long game or that friendship was truly one sided if he could be fine with shooting him in the head when the time came. (I’m looking at everyone sideways who stan him btw). He worked with Ritchie Doucet, the leader of the Dixie Mafia and let them take over Delray Hollow to abuse and traffic folks in the community there after he thought Lincoln was dead. Racist little spoiled brat with access to weapons and a Daddy’s boy. I hate this rat. In his dying breath, he could have tried to make peace with Lincoln and apologize or something, but it was clear he never saw Lincoln like that at all.

YES I AM LOOKING AT PEOPLE SIDEWAYS IF I SEE PEOPLE STAN GIORGI, SHIP HIM WITH LINCOLN OR TRY TO SOFTEN HIM UP IN ANYWAY. I’VE HAD IT, YOU’RE ALL ON A LIST NOW!...anyways. There’s a whole lot of Capos and Lieutenants that work under them but I’m not really gonna get into em all.

There’s other characters and the DLC’s now I can get to instead.

Father James Ballard: Ran the orphanage before it got shut down and has known Lincoln since he was a child. Kind of an Uncle figure. WW2 Vet and kept close to the Robinson’s. Now....why I understand why he doesn't want Lincoln to go down the path he does go down....cause seeing a loved one do that kind of stuff is painful... I also...REAALLLY...don’t like him.  A whole family got wiped out, Lincoln lost so much and is scarred from it, the people that did the killings are also ruining the Hollow and making it worse. If Lincoln did just, after healing, decide to listen to Father James and not do anything, things would have been WORSE. The Marcanos would have full control, the Dixie Mafia would have free reign, The Southern Union would have gotten stronger. AND IT’S DOUBLY INFURIATING IN ONE THE DLC’S: THE SIGN OF THE TIMES! Lincoln’s adopted family was killed, Father James knew them, sure they were a mob but they were still individual people who loved and cared for each other. And yet he wants Lincoln to let go of his revenge and just leave. BUT THEN THERE’S THIS CREEPY ASS WHITE SUPREMACIST CULT THAT FUCKS UP A WHITE GIRL WHO’S A COMPLETE STRANGER AND THE JAMES IS LIKE “Okay Lincoln, take them out.” AND IT’S JUST SO-...no diss to the white girl though, Anna, she was a victim and it’s tragic what happens in her story, but idk man. James bothers me.

John Donovan: I already talked about him a little bit, but him and Lincoln met in Vietnam where Lincoln was assigned to work with him on an ops mission for the C.I.A. Lincoln learned a lot, including psychological warfare which he uses against the Marcanos later. They eventually got really close, to the point that John dropped everything and ruined his C.I.A career to work with Lincoln in building his own crime empire. He’s a fun character, he’s very chaotic, and him and Lincoln bounce off each other really well, no wild card/straight man dynamic, they’re both wild cards in their own right. I think the game is trying to frame Father James and Donovan as the Angel and Devil on Lincoln’s shoulders and, like, sure, okay, Father James is like “Don’t do it!” while Donovan is like “LETS FUCKIN GOOO!” and neither character really likes each other. James is priest and John is an atheist so the usual clash there too. I’ve made my thoughts clear on James. Donovan though is just willing to do the most for Lincoln and in a DLC he asks him for his help with his own problems that’s started before they even met. And Lincoln gladly helps him. It’s a real “I’m here for you and I hope when the time comes you’re here for me” kinda friendship. Anyways, despite leaving the C.I.A and becomes involved in criminal organizations, John is dead-set to find out who really organized the JFK assassination and finds that Sal Marcano has ties to politicians and others in the country to he goes off on his own manhunt. It’s a fun time. Good time. Don’t watch live political hearings on TV at the time though cause you might see someone get blasted.

The DLC’s

Sign of the Times: A creepy cult called the “Ensanglante” infests the burned remains of Sammy’s bar and Lincoln and Father James discover this on their way to pay the old place a visit. A young girl runs out terrified and men chase after her. After James takes the girl to a safe place and Lincoln investigates what they were doing in the bar. The learn the girl is named Anna McGee and the cult was doing a ritual in the bar because of the past human suffering in there, the murder of Lincoln’s family. The Ensanglante preforms rituals in places where people have suffered, like old slave market areas, a middle school that burned down, a plantation house etc. It’s run by a woman named Bonnie Harless who indoctrinated Anna into the cult through manipulation and promising she’ll be loved. It just left Anna abused and out of her own mind and miserable. This side story isn't really crime orientated, but it’s taking down a creepy racist cult and it gets really trippy sometimes. In my Father James bit I said a little about this already. Bonnie is a creepy bitch and off her rocker, Anna’s story is so tragic what happens to her. The cult does get wiped out and after that Lincoln meets with his aunt Lily and they restore Sammy’s bar into a functioning club again and as a memorial to Sammy and Ellis. 

Faster, Baby!: You go to Sinclair Parish, a sun-down town outside of New Bordeaux that’s run by a corrupt Sheriff “Slim” Beaumont, who wants to keep the town white, even if that means making people who oppose him disappear. There’s civil rights activists who are ran by another of one of Lincoln’s allies in the main game, “The Voice” (Charles Laveau). One of their members who was carrying the evidence that they compiled against was murdered by the sheriff and they need to get it. The Voice’s daughter, Roxy joins and works alongside Lincoln to take down this entire corrupt police force with the help of her friend, M.J, another Vietnam vet who just wants to see his hometown become better. A pretty fun DLC, a lot of car chaos and destruction, brings ACAB to a whole new level. Lincoln and Roxy kinda got a thing going on (I think Lincoln likes girls who bully him lol), and it is pretty cute, especially near the end of the story, Lincoln hears something he really needed to hear to give him comfort and it’s pretty sweet (WELL IT WOULD BE SWEET IF ROXY DIDN'T IMMEDIATELY LEAVE BACK FOR GEORGIA RIGHT AFTER SHE GOT SOME DICK FROM HIM 😭). Not crime focused either, but a lot of fun and with M.J you can actually grow weed and make new strands to actually sell to the districts you take over in the main game. Roxy’s cool, even if it does kinda hurt if I think too much that she just said all the right things to get into Lincoln’s pants but....I’m not gonna judge her either cause he really...👀💦. She’s got a really cool car you get when you beat the story. M.J is cool, Vietnam vet, turned pot smoking/growing, racism fighting hippie. You also get a hippie van from him later when level up the grow operations, and I love me some hippie vans.

Stones Unturned: Donovan calls onto Lincoln for his help once someone from his past starts showing up in New Bordeaux and stirs up some shit. You meet one of Donovan’s old allies, a former C.I.A agent now turned bounty hunter Robert Marshall and he joins in the hunt down for Conner Aldridge. You learn more about John and Connor’s history, they used to work together and be friends but Connor turned his back on America and started feeding intel to the NVA. Eventually John found out and they had a violent falling out. Aldridge’s face got scarred and Donovan’s hand got really messed up. Aldridge’s main goal is to sell information on the U.S to all their enemies, from Vietnam to Cuba. There’s a lot of heavy weapons in this DLC and military grade vehicles. You even leave New Bordeaux to somewhere in Cuba to infiltrate a bunker to get the warhead and hunt down Aldridge. Very much more of a war/action plot than a crime plot, even though I guess John’s brand of shady is better than Connor’s brand of shady (??), still very fun to see more interactions with Lincoln and Donovan. Lincoln even forces him to open up more, that’s how we learn more about Aldridge (I still think he’s hiding more from Lincoln cause that anger felt more visceral...hmm). You first reach Cuba and it’s BEAAUUTTIFULLL, the water is so blue omg it’s so pretty. Robert Marshall is a weird guy, I see why him and John are friends. He’s a little unhinged but over all he’s friendly??in his own weird little way. You actually get bounty hunting missions from, only 3 though, once you’re back in town, and he offers this pretty handy sniping service. Connor as a villain is something alright, not saying he’s a bad character but I do wish there was more information you could have uncovered with Donovan. And he’s pretty nihilistic about the war and America and stuff and as someone who personally is pessimistic about how America is now...uhh...can’t say I blame him. Though selling weapons to people who wanna blast us to the Fallout Universe, that’s not cool. Nooo nope no sir, don’t like that. Anyways, the DLC is a good time. Less of a heavy story than the other 2 which is good cause I don’t wanna feel totally miserable lol

The order in which the DLC’s came out isn't an indicator of a timeline either, there’s no real set timeline in the game. Just the main plot begins during Mardi Gras in 1968, Lincoln needs his time to recover, and the only other indicator is on Anna’s gravestone so I’m assuming at least Sign of the Times is the first one and takes place when Lincoln’s trying to get his under bosses together. That’s a me thing tho, I’m a stickler for timelines and stuff like that.

BUT ANYWAYS I TYPED A LOT SO MUCH OMG I JUST WANTED TO GIVE MY THOUGHTS ON THE GAME AND THE BASIC RUN DOWN OF THE STORY AND CHARACTERS LOL

MAYBE I’LL SHARE MORE HEADCANONS LATER AND SHIZZ CAUSE IT’S SUCH A HYPERFIXATION RIGHT NOW AND EVEN ON MY ART BLOG I MADE SOME FANART K BYE

#mafia 3 #mafia iii #lincoln clay #john donovan #vito scaletta #mafia series #mafia definitive edition #2k games #hangar 13 #video games #thoughts #review #headcanons #rambling #this is my favorite game i wish people loved it as much as i do #also lincoln clay is the only fictional man i've ever turly loved U<U

[msponies]

literally my favorite siblings EVER!!!!!.bmp

#zipp storm #pipp petals #ms paint #mlp #no spoilers BUT THE MOVIE WAS SO GOOD!!!!! i’ve already seen it twice and i hope i get to see it again after work!! #also sorry if the quality is weird on this one i’m posting on my phone 😿 #msponies #my art

[letaliabane]

request for battinson!!!

sort of like how bruce and selina met at the club, but the reader and him had a previous fling when bruce was a teenager.

the reader is trying to find some information on falcone at the club when she bumps into batman and at first he doesn’t recognize her until she calls him bruce and he corners her outside of the bar

you can decide how to continue

always been you

bruce wayne x reader/batman x reader 

spoilers for the movie (do yourselves a favour and watch the film!!)

genre: slight angst/fluff

a/n: It’s been so long since someone has requested something so thank you anon! I’ve tweaked the story just a little bit if you don’t mind! If anyone would like a batman/bruce wayne request feel free to ask! Also I hate tumblr for not saving this and had to rewrite it twice lol

You grunted as you squeezed your way through the crowd of bodies as they moved and pressed against one another to the beat of the music, sighing when you finally reached the staircase and made your way back up to the bar. 

You had been working at the Lounge for over six months now. Having left the life of a socialite behind after leaving your parents home meant no money was given. But you didn’t care, especially if it meant that you could live a life made of your own choices than being dictated to be the perfect daughter.  

However life in Gotham wasn’t as easy as that. Finding a job was a struggle, especially when no one got back to job requests or was willing to give a chance, until someone recommended the Iceberg Lounge. 

You knew its reputation. A foul place, and yet a gold mine of discovery in your eyes. With the socialite circles you had previously been apart of, the gossip of the infamous Falcone had always been present, especially the rebirth of his drug business. 

This was something that caught your interest more than working at the Lounge itself. You couldn’t watch this go by. You had seen too many good people be taken by just a small bit of powder, how much more pain it caused than relief.

So you gave in your name, and was quickly swept up as a waitress. It was hard putting up with sleazy men and gangsters on a nightly basis, but the ladies of the lounge made it a little bit easier to handle. 

On the subject of Falcone, there was indeed a drug business going on in the shadows, but nothing that led back to him to show his involvement. You needed something more concrete if you were going to take this to the cops, and that would take time. 

‘Ayo Y/N! Oz wants his usual drink and any of the payments you’ve managed to collect! Get to it!‘

With a quick nod to the bartender, you pull out the wads of cash you had collected through the night from buyers before playing it on the silver tray already heavy with his drink before making your way to the backend of the lounge. 

Just as you pushed through the beaded curtain, you froze. Standing over you, tall, clad in thick black armour from head to toe, cape adorning his large frame, was the Batman. 

Or as you knew him, Bruce Wayne, your former lover. 

‘Nothing to be afraid of Y/N!’ 

You jumped at the sound of Oswald as he chuckled, beckoning you over. ‘Vengeance here ain’t gonna hurt ya! He’s here on official business!‘

Your eyes remained glued to the crystal blue eyes that stood out against the darkness of the cowl, glazed and almost stunned as they roamed your face. In a matter of seconds (or was it minutes?) you finally found feeling in your legs to move once more, giving Oswald a brief smile as you lay the tray down and removed his drink. 

If he recognised you, you couldn’t tell. Batman remained silent, unmoving, just watching as Oswald bundled up the money and placed those stupid coloured packets of powder on the tray in return. As quickly as you entered, you left the room. 

Rushing back to the bar, you let the tray fall to the bar top before retreating into the ladies room, making sure it was empty before gasping, leaning against the counter. 

It had been sometime since you had seen Bruce, let alone the Batman. 

He had told you about this ‘vengeance’ he wanted to place upon Gotham. Not too long after the end of your relationship, the vigilante the city called Batman appeared, and you had a hunch of who it was beyond the mask. 

It had broken your heart when he called things off between the two of you. Having grown up together you’d always shared a strong bond, the same mission to bring about change within Gotham. You even stayed at his side when his parents died when no one else would (besides Alfred of course). 

But you knew he struggled with loss, it was unimaginable, and even though his methods of coping were - extreme to say the least - but with all that you thought he’d see how much care you had to give him-

You shook your head, quickly releasing the taps, dabbing some cool water to your cheeks, glancing up at your reflection. Now was not the time, and neither was this the place for any of that. You needed to focus. 

With one last deep breath, you turned on your heel and returned to work. 

Travelling through the streets of Gotham was never safe at any hour, but one does what they have to do to survive. And it just happened to be the night that a bunch of guys hanging around the front of your apartment. Just perfect! 

You quickly paid the taxi driver before slowly making your way towards the familiar building. Quietly, you weaved your way past, ignoring them as they whistled and called after you. That was until you felt a sharp tug on your arm, immediately cringing at the intense smell of alcohol on his breath. 

‘Looks like we have ourselves a little bird boys! You lost your way honey?’

‘No in fact I was just on my way into my apartment so if you don’t mind-’ A gasp forced itself from your lips as you slammed against the man’s chest, his face inches from your own. 

‘Hey hey hey what’s your hurry doll? Stay with us for a little while! We haven’t felt the-gentle touch of a woman for some time now ...’ 

His fingers had barely touched your cheek before you pulled away, slamming your head against his, sending him flying back into his friends. 

‘You fucking bitch!’ 

Lights blurred your vision as you shook your head, only able to throw a decent punch into a guy coming your way before a firm shove sent you straight to the ground. 

You raised your head weakly as one of them pulled out a knife, a chill running through your veins as he twirled and weaved the blade between his fingertips.

Suddenly a large swarm of black slammed down in front of you, an eruption of shouts and screams disturbing the night. 

Struggling to your feet, you turned as Batman stood over the men that now lay unconscious. He glanced towards you, almost gliding as he came to stand in front of you. 

‘Are you alright?’ 

You nodded, eyes glancing wildly towards the men then back to him. He was watching you carefully, turning to look up and down the street. 

‘We shouldn’t talk here. Get inside I’ll meet you up on the roof.’

Without waiting for your answer, the whistle of his grappling hook released before he disappeared out of sight. You rushed up the stairs into your apartment building, taking the elevator up all the way to the roof. Exiting you found his silhouette facing the city, like a demon overlooking its prey. 

Even when you made your way to his side, he remained quiet. Finally he turned to you, taking you in once more. 

‘It’s been a long time,’ You said, breaking the tense silence that surrounded the two of you. 

You stuttered as his gloved hand caressed your forehead over the new bump that was forming. You stood frozen as his hand glided down face, down your cheek, down you arm before holding the tips of your fingertips, examining the damage. 

‘You have to be more careful Y/N, I don’t like seeing you hurt.’

His voice had deepened since you’d last been with him, and though many would say he was nothing but empty shell, you could hear his voice riddled with worry. And it wedged that knife just a little bit deeper into your heart. 

As he continued scanning your body for injuries, you couldn’t help but watch him. The sheer glaze of tiredness over his eyes, the rigidness of his large stature. Some would call him a monster, and yet here he was, treating you with such gentleness as one would with the fragility of glass. 

‘How long have you been working at the Iceberg Lounge?’

His question withdrew you from your thoughts, blinking momentarily to find him staring down at you curiously. 

‘A couple of months now. What were you doing there tonight?’

‘Working on a case.’

‘The Mayor’s death? Does it connect to the club?’

He ignored your question. ‘And you’re working at the lounge for more than just the job. Falcone I’m guessing? Could never let it go, could you?’ 

You gave him a smirk, crossing your arms. 

‘Says the one dressing as a bat and fighting crime in Gotham every night!’ 

The corner of his lip rose before he returned to his cold demeanour. 

‘Be careful Y/N, I don’t want you getting hurt and caught up in all of this.’ 

You rolled your eyes. 

‘You can’t stop me from going after Falcone even if you wanted to. If anything I can provide you with more information! I doubt Oswald or any of the guys will like you snooping around anymore than you have already.’ 

He grunted, looking back out towards the city where the bat signal burned through the darkened clouds that filled the night. You sighed, beginning to make your way back to the elevator when he called your name.

‘It-It’s always been you ...’

Your heart leapt. 

You didn’t have to ask what he meant when he said that. The overwhelming feeling to rush to him and embrace him came to mind briefly. But instead, you gave him a smile. 

‘Don’t be a stranger Bruce.’ 

Giving the briefest of nods, he dropped from the roof, disappearing into the shadows of the night. 

sequels - undercover | stay

masterlist - robert pattinson masterlist

requests are welcomed in the ask box if anyone would like one

#the batman #batman 2022 #the batman 2022 #batman imagines #bruce wayne imagines #bruce wayne x reader #bruce wayne imagine #bruce wayne #selina kyle #battinson #dc imagines #matt reeves #dc imagine #robert pattinson #robert pattinson fanfiction #catwoman #the batman imagines #the batman imagine #the batman x reader #the batman movie #rob!brucewayne #rob!batman #batman x reader #batman #selina kyle x reader #selina kyle imagines #selina kyle imagine #Pattinson!Batman

[javier-pena]

alone

Chapter 1 of The Hunt

Pairing: Din Djarin x fem!reader

Word Count: 4.4k

Rating: Mature (for now but that will - spoilers! - change eventually)

Summary: When your best friend and companion is abducted by a group of outlaws, you hire a Mandalorian to help track down the men and get your revenge. What seems like a simple enough task stretches into a month-long trek through inhospitable terrain while both you and the Mandalorian are trying to come to terms with events in your past you cannot change. Set after Season 2.

Warnings: mentions (and short descriptions) of death, murder, and torture | a lot of hurt and no comfort | mentions of loss | mild to moderate language | a lot - and I mean A LOT - of talk about Din’s hands lmao

Notes: This is my first attempt at a Mandalorian fic and the first time in months I’ve written anything. It’s vaguely inspired by my favorite western movies, True Grit (1969/2010), The Quick and the Dead (1995), and The World to Come (2020). So yes, this is going to be very much like a western. I also want to - again - thank Dani @javierpcna​ who was like “are you writing Mandalorian stuff?” about a month ago and has, since then, read through this chapter more often than me and encouraged me to continue to write it and offered so much valuable insight whenever I came to her with an idea ... seriously, Dani, this fic wouldn’t exist without you and I hope I can find a way to repay you! Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this first chapter (I’m already working on the second one) ...

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The day the Mandalorian arrives on Alvorine is the day you lose your best friend. You’re still busy putting out the fire, running your soot-blackened hand across your face, where the dirt mingles with the tears you’re too tired to stop from streaming down your face, when you hear the thrusters of a spacecraft roaring above you. You barely glance up; you can’t be bothered to. It could be the remnants of the Empire looking for recruits, it could be the New Republic looking for the remnants of the Empire, or it could be the bandits coming back for more. But what do you care? They already took away the one person you care most about in the galaxy. You just grip the shovel tighter and drive it into the soil so you can choke the fire underneath moist stones and dirt.

While you exhaust your body with physical labor, you occupy your mind with thoughts of revenge. Revenge as dark and quenching as the soil beneath you. With every load of dirt you heave onto the searing flames, your plan gains another sharp edge until all you can think of is driving the cutting edge down onto the throat of the man who gripped Brea’s arm and pulled her onto the speeder bike. Maybe his head would come off right away, maybe your tool would just obstruct his windpipe as you watch the life drain slowly out of his eyes. And even that would be too good an end for that monster.

It’s not just in your mind – those thoughts aren’t simply there to ground you while you continue your work in the ruins of what was once your home. It’s not pure fantasy, something to give you back a feeling of control. You are determined to follow through on it; you are going to hunt down these men who burned down your farm and stole Brea from you. You will not rest until they are all dead by your hand. And if you should die in the process … then you won’t go out without a fight, without taking as many of those bastards with you as you can. They have sealed their own fate by coming here today.

You know Brea isn’t dead; they won’t kill her unless she tries to kill one of them first. And she wouldn’t do that, she is too gentle for that, too docile. She would rather turn the other cheek. They should have taken you instead; she doesn’t deserve the fate that awaits her. You would’ve at least put up a fight, make them pay for what they did. And Brea? She would just die.

For now, she’s alive. But whatever you set out to do once you’re done here won’t be a rescue mission. You aren’t under the illusion you can save her. You know that even if you were to leave right now, even if you had your own speeder bike, you would never find her in time. No, this possibility hasn’t even crossed your mind. All you want to do is cause these men more pain than they caused you. You know it is impossible because you cannot imagine anything worse, but you sure as hell will do your best.

You straighten your back, drive the shovel into the ground, and use it as support while you try to catch your breath. The air burns in your lungs, and not just from the cold. There is also the steadily rising black smoke that makes breathing hard; your throat stings, so do your sides, and there is a bitter taste in your mouth. But you’re almost finished here, you’re almost done putting out the fire, so it won’t endanger the surrounding forest. And with every flame you bury, you also bury a piece of your soul until you feel like there is nothing left that makes you human, until all the pain and despair you’re feeling since listening to Brea’s screams grow quieter and quieter until they were swallowed up by silence has turned into a cold, brazen cry for revenge. But you’re glad this has made you less forgiving, less kind, less … human. Those things would only get in the way of the task ahead of you.

As the last flames go out with a wet hiss, one of Alvorine’s three blue white suns vanishes behind the treetops. You know the other two will be quick to follow. And you don’t have anywhere to spend the night. You wouldn’t mind sleeping with your back propped against a tree. You’ve done it often enough. But it’s winter, and the air is already cold and will be even colder once the other two suns set too. And you just lost every blanket, every single piece of fabric that could keep you warm in a small inferno. You know this is just an excuse, a comforting lie you tell yourself. The truth is you cannot spend a minute longer on this clearing, even if that means you have to walk the four miles to the next settlement. You’re so exhausted you cannot feel your legs, but you don’t care. Anything is better than spending the night here, even collapsing in the middle of the dark forest.

You leave the shovel where you stand and walk to the edge of the clearing, swallowing around the lump in your throat, trying to hold down more tears that are threatening to spill over and down your cheeks. Once you reach the edge of the forest, where the air is a bit clearer, you take a deep breath and turn around to look at the ruins of your home, now nothing more than a black pile of rubble. You have nothing, nothing but the clothes you’re wearing, not even a small trinket to remind you of Brea and the many happy hours you spent here tending to your fields, sweeping the front porch or sitting around the fireplace sharing supper. Even remembering how you worked on menial chores now feels like the most precious memory, one you will hold onto until your last breath. Because even though they have taken everything from you, they can’t take away the memory of Brea’s laugh.

***

They stare at you as you enter the inn. They stare and then look away. They can’t bear your presence because it reminds them of their own guilt. Not one of them came to your aid this morning, not one of them came afterwards to offer help. And you ignore them too because there is nothing left to say. All you want is some food and a dry place to sleep before you turn your back on them forever.

You sit down at a small table in a dark corner. The patrons around you either turn their backs to you or stand up to move their meals and conversations someplace else. It’s as if you’ve been marked. If you had any strength left in you, you would call them out on their behavior. Shit, you would wreak havoc, and only stop when the last one of them is on their knees begging for forgiveness. But you’re glad you’re too exhausted because your sudden hatred for everyone and everything scares you. The villagers don’t deserve to fall victim to your rage. There is nothing they could’ve done. They are just as defenseless and helpless as you. Would you have come to their aid if your positions were reversed? You would like to think so, but just because it gives you a false sense of moral superiority. Deep down you know the truth. Deep down you know you would hide too, praying that you would be spared.

As you dig into your bowl of soup, you realize how hungry you are. Even though everything tastes like ash in your mouth, your stomach is glad to have something to clench around when your thoughts stray to this morning’s events again. And you know there’s no need to punish yourself by refusing your body the nourishment it needs. The opposite, in fact – you know you’ll need all the strength you can get if you’re really going after them.

As you swallow one ashy bite after the other, you let your eyes wander around the room, looking for something that will distract you from your thoughts and your feelings of guilt. Everyone avoids your gaze; everyone acts as if your corner is empty. Everyone … except one stranger.

He sits in a booth close to the bar, his arms crossed over his chest, his gaze on you. Or at least you think he’s looking at you – he’s wearing a helmet that covers his entire head, the kind you’ve seen twice before in this corner of the galaxy. He’s a Mandalorian, a bounty hunter, and his presence here doesn’t really surprise you. Even though actually seeing one is a rare occurrence, stories about them are countless.

Alvorine is a planet without laws, a planet that lives by its own rules, so many criminals decide to hide out here while they wait for their crimes to be forgotten. There is no military presence on the planet, no judicial system, no one to catch and punish the wrongdoers. The planet follows the rules of whoever is in charge, which changes frequently, but none of the powerful people have enough resources to enforce those rules anyway. Disputes are often just settled by the parties involved in whatever way they see fit. Only the Mandalorians, who are hired by people on other worlds, by people who have never experienced what it is like to live on Alovrine, are brave enough to get involved in those disputes. You have to admit you do feel a tiny bit curious as to why that particular Mandalorian is here ... who hired him? And who is he hunting?

You tentatively let your gaze wander over his stoic body, over the beskar covering his arms and chest, over the bandolier wrapped around his upper body, over the visor hiding his eyes. If you had one like him on your side, you wouldn’t need to worry about getting your revenge. He would catch those men in the blink of an eye. And if you paid him enough, he would do to them whatever you wanted.

He would cut off their limbs but keep them alive long enough to feel it.

He would make them run for it, give them the illusion of hope, only to crush it like their bones.

He would let you watch, let you choose whatever punishment you saw fit.

You shift in your seat because you can almost smell the blood, you can hear a faint echo of their screams, and it makes you feel light-headed and nauseous, but also elevates you, lifts a weight off your shoulders, even if just for a brief moment.

But he’s not here to do your bidding. And when you lift your head again, he’s gone.

You finish your bowl of soup and then decide to rent a room upstairs for the night. You don’t have a place to stay anymore and it’s too dangerous to start your pursuit while it’s dark. The forest belongs to dangerous creatures during the night, more dangerous than any man out there. And you’re planning on staying alive for just a little while longer.

You stretch and yawn and move to get up when your path is suddenly blocked. It happens so fast you don’t register anything at first apart from the cold, hard beskar chest plate that is level with your face. Its unexpected appearance makes you lose your balance and you fall back down onto the bench you’ve been sitting on. The Mandalorian extends his hand, his fingers closing around thin air. It’s a half-hearted attempt to stop your fall, and it comes too late – your backside has already painfully collided with the hard wood.

“May I join you?” His voice sounds distorted through the modulator in his helmet. He sounds like a machine, not like a being with a heartbeat.

You want to tell him no, want to tell him to fuck off, but for tonight you have no fight left in you. So you nod.

He sits down and you expect to hear the clink of his armor, expect to feel a tremor when his heavy body comes to rest on a stool opposite you. But there is no sound, no movement, and the lack makes you sit up straighter. This isn’t just another cowardly villager you can get rid of by glaring at him … this is an apex predator.

You swallow with some difficulty. “Can I help you?” you ask, your voice level, your eyes resting on his glove-clad hands lying on the table. You figure you’re safe as long as you can see them.

At first, he doesn’t say anything. He just looks at you. Or at least you think he’s looking at you. You cannot see his eyes behind the tinted visor. No matter how uncomfortable the situation makes you feel, you try not to move … you try not to show any sign of weakness, to give him any excuse to lunge across the table and strangle you.

Finally, he answers. “I’m looking for work.”

Now you cannot help but move. You exhale sharply, and with that release of breath comes a release of tension as you slump backwards, your back hitting the wall behind you. You cross your arms over your chest. “I can’t help you,” you say. You don’t have any work to offer him, no work worthy of the skills of a Mandalorian who usually hunts down important people, kings, merchants, people who influence the course of the galaxy’s history. Following a few lowly bandits is not the work he’s used to. You don’t even want to tell him about it because you know he’d take it as an insult. And even if - by some miracle - your quest for revenge would be deemed a worthy cause in the eyes of the Mandalorian, you couldn’t afford his services.

The slightest movement of his helmet is the only reaction your answer gets out of him. Whether he shifts because he’s surprised or because he’s angry, or whether his scalp itches under the metal you cannot tell.

Still, you feel the need to explain yourself. “I’m sorry, I don’t have any money.”

Shit, that’s the wrong thing to say. It implies you have work for him, but that you’re too poor to pay him. For all you know, this could be a grave insult in Mandalorian society.

His fingers on the table clench around thin air again. “What can you offer?” he asks.

He doesn’t want to know about the job, the quarry as you know they call it. No, he just wants to know how much he can earn.

“240 credits,” you answer. It’s all you have. You won’t need it anymore.

He tilts his head and you expect him to refuse, but then he says, “That’s enough.”

You’re taken aback, surprised. He’s caught you off-guard. You were fully prepared to see him walk away at hearing the ridiculously low amount of money you just offered. “You don’t even know what the job is,” you protest. The last thing you need is a Mandalorian hunting you down because you’re not paying him enough.

“They told me,” he says with a nod behind him.

You follow the movement with your eyes and see heads whip to the side, gazes wandering downwards, you notice conversations being picked up again. White hot fury fills you, more powerful than the flames that destroyed your house.

“They had no right,” you press out through clenched teeth.

The Mandalorian doesn’t say anything. He sits still like a statue, unwavering, as you fight a small battle with yourself. You should leave without looking back. Messing with a Mandalorian is even more dangerous than the task ahead of you. But he’s offering you something invaluable, something no amount of credits can get you: a chance. If you go alone, you’ll be dead in about a week. There’s no use pretending you’ll get out of it alive. But if you accept the Mandalorian’s help – his services, you have to remind yourself – you might make it through two. You might get to see your dreams of revenge become reality.

You sigh deeply as a heavy weariness settles over you. You’re exhausted, and now that all the adrenaline has left your body, you can feel all the small cuts and bruises today’s labors have left behind. And you feel empty … cold and empty, and utterly alone.

The Mandalorian still doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t defend the villagers, he doesn’t tell you what he knows about you or the job, he doesn’t try to persuade you to take him up on his offer, nor does he walk away from it. He just sits there and waits for you to make up your mind, as if it’s all the same to him. And it probably is. Either he goes with you and earns some money, or he doesn’t and looks for work elsewhere. He is completely detached from the whole affair. There is no emotional investment, just a job that needs to be done.

He doesn’t care if you live or die, he just cares if you pay him or not.

This realization is what finally helps you make up your mind. “I want to hire you,” you say, your tongue heavy in your mouth. All you really want is to sleep.

There is no reaction for the longest time but then the Mandalorian nods. You’re not sure if you’re supposed to say something, give him details or explain the specifics of the job to him. But before you can decide what to say next, he stands abruptly.

“I’ll be back in a few days,” he says before turning around.

Your brain needs a moment to catch up but when it does, you’re already on your feet. “Wait,” you say, and to your surprise the broad, steel-clad man listens to you.

He doesn’t face you, but he stops.

You briefly consider asking him if you can accompany him, but you don’t. You don’t have to ask, you get to decide.

“I’m coming with you,” you tell him.

You tell a stranger, a dangerous one at that, one who makes his money by making other people’s lives a living hell, that you will travel with him through dark, deserted forests where no one will stop him from taking what he wants from you instead of earning it, where no one will come to your aid should he not honor the deal you apparently just made with him. And you don’t care. Because no matter what he will do to you, it can’t be worse than what has already been done.

But all your worries and fears focus in on just one tiny aspect of this whole, fucked-up situation when he says, “I work alone.”

You don’t want to negotiate. This shouldn’t even be up for debate. You’re his employer now, you get to decide how things are done. But if you insist on this, he could just walk away from you. And you cannot let that happen now that you’ve had an idea of what it would be like to have a Mandalorian on your side.

“We’re not a team,” you say. “Think of me as an interested party. As someone who is fascinated by your work.”

You’re not sure if that is the right thing to say. His shoulders move, but he still doesn’t turn around. When he speaks again, you know it was the wrong thing to say.

“I work alone or not at all.”

You don’t want to accept that. You want to be there when those men are punished for what they did. You don’t want to wait around for the Mandalorian to come back, not when you don’t have anywhere to wait around in. You’ve lost everything. Had he talked to the villagers as he claims, he would know this. Or maybe he does. Maybe he knows you lost your home today but doesn’t care. He doesn’t even know the definition of the word home. It means nothing to him.

You take a deep breath. “Then I won’t be needing your services.”

This finally makes him turn around. Everything in you screams for you to take a few steps back, to put yourself out of his reach. You can feel the atmosphere between you shift – he draws back his shoulders, makes himself even taller than he already is. And you know, you just know, that refusing his offer, that backtracking on your agreement is the worst mistake you made tonight.

You’re pretty sure that not honoring a deal is the worst insult to a Mandalorian.

“Going alone will be your death,” he says when you cannot bear the tension a second longer.

“What’s it to you?”

The words are out. They are a challenge, one you didn’t mean to make, one you shouldn’t have made, but it’s done now. Your hand begins to tremble, and your feet grow cold with fear as you prepare yourself for his reaction. You don’t know if he will hit you, tie you up, torture you, or just kill you on the spot. He could do all of these things without having to fear any repercussions. You curse yourself for not having been more careful, for making this fatal mistake, because now Brea will go unavenged. Just because you couldn’t keep your damn mouth shut, just because you’re stubborn and hot-headed and oh so stupid.

But to your surprise, the Mandalorian shrugs. He lifts his broad shoulders, then lowers them again as your eyes follow the movement. But he’s not giving you anything more: He doesn’t insist on going alone, he doesn’t turn around and leave, he just keeps standing opposite you, motionless, emotionless, until you’re convinced you imagined the shrug.

So you decide to make the next move by removing yourself from this situation before he changes his mind and drags you back to his ship to do whatever he wants to you. You take a deep breath and start to step around him, a movement that is almost impossible to complete in this small space you’re both in. But you attempt it, nevertheless. When you’re level with him, doing your best not to brush up against him so you won’t enrage him, you hear his voice. It’s just one sentence, four words, but for some reason it sounds so much more human than it did when he was opposite you. Maybe it has something to do with the distance between his helmet and your ear, maybe it’s the angle from which the sounds hit your eardrums or maybe it’s because you feel light-headed, dizzy with the realization he hasn’t killed you yet and probably won’t.

He says, “Have it your way.”

You stop right next to him, staring ahead at a group of three men who do their best not to look at you. But you don’t see them anyway. In fact, you don’t see anything at all because the rushing sound in your ears drowns out everything else, even other senses.

“You can come with me,” he says, and it’s the first time he has spoken two sentences in a row. “But you do as I say.” Three. “If I tell you to run, you run.” Four. “If I tell you to get out of the way, you do so.” Five. “And if I tell you to kill, you kill.” Six.

Then nothing, just the faint sound of his deep breaths through the modulator.

Your thoughts are racing, tripping over their own feet like children running down a hill, and they’re unbearably loud. Everything is loud suddenly, from the sound of the barkeep filling a glass to the way that woman over there is chewing her food. The only thing that’s quiet is the last one you would have suspected to be so: the Mandalorian. Now he is waiting for you to say something and as he does, he balls his hand into a fist and then releases the tension again, over and over like a nervous tic, like he needs an outlet for the tension in his body, the tension you have no idea he is feeling until you see his arm flex beneath the fabric covering it.

But, once more, you’re at war with yourself. You don’t know what to tell him. There is still that shimmer of hope on the horizon, the light that makes you believe you stand a chance if you bring him along. But his terms … you’re not sure if you can accept them. He doesn’t know Alvorine or the men you would be hunting half as well as you do. And you’ve never been one for following orders. So if you feel that his assessment of a situation is wrong, you’re not sure you’ll be able to run just because he tells you to.

You have a feeling that defying his orders would be the most dangerous thing you could ever do, even more dangerous than hunting down a group of ruthless bandits who like to torture and kill for fun.

“All right,” you say finally.

His fist unclenches one last time and he exhales slowly.

“But when we find them,” you swallow hard, once, but your mouth is completely dry, “I get to decide what happens to them.”

The Mandalorian turns toward you so abruptly that you almost lose your balance. You lean back and hit your elbow on the wall behind you. The pain makes you curse under your breath.

“Agreed,” he whispers. He sounds like a machine again, as if everything that makes him human is shut away beneath that cold, hard, invaluable beskar steel. You too feel cold suddenly, cold and afraid. “But until then you do as I say. Understood?”

You nod, not trusting your voice. He is too close to you, and drowns out everything else, even the sounds that you considered to be too loud mere seconds ago. If he wouldn’t be wearing a helmet, you would be able to feel his breath on your cheek. He takes up your field of vision almost entirely. You’ve never felt more on display, and yet more hidden. And you know that if you say the wrong thing now, it will have terrible consequences.

So you just nod again.

“We leave in the morning,” he tells you, then turns around suddenly and leaves, his cape trailing behind him.

All sounds come rushing back at once, as if you’ve just emerged out of a pool of water. You release your breath quickly, only now realizing you’ve been holding it. Then you slump back against the wall, a shaking, quivering mess.

***

tag list: @bella-ciao​, @filthybookworm​, @frannyzooey​, @khalysa​, @leannawithacapitala​, @mothandpidgeon​, @mrsparknuts​, @mxsamwilson​, @piscespussybabe​, @something-tofightfor​

#the mandalorian #din djarin x reader #din djarin x you #the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian x you #mando x reader #star wars #din djarin #pedro pascal #fanfic #the hunt fic #yes i've queued this #yes i'm asleep right now #and yes i'm too much of a coward

[destinyc1020]

*****🚨 ⚠️NWH Spoilers (just in case)🚨 ⚠️  

Omg!!! I really enjoyed NWH so much!  😃  It was way better than FFH imo.  I loved how the movie took me on an emotional rollercoaster all throughout. It was fun, exciting, nostalgic, funny, sad, emotional, and intense all in one!  I loved it.  ❤️    I’ve already seen the movie twice!  😂

I liked how we got to see a little bit more of MJ and her personality. We even get to see her in her room lol.  I liked how we got to see some backstory on Ned, and even got to see his grandmother.  I liked how the teachers did NOT get much screen time in this movie (no offense lol) like they did in FFH.  I also liked how the movie was a bit more serious this time around, and wasn’t just a bunch of jokes (I kind of felt like FFH was a little too much joking/trying hard to be funny at times).   I loved seeing Peter and MJ’s development as well!  And I felt like they had way more chemistry this time around when they were no longer being anxious, awkward teenagers around each other lol.  I loved seeing the softer side of Michelle as well. She’s really come a long way since the first movie! 

I was heartbroken about Aunt May’s death, and it really was gut-wrenching, but I’m kind of curious to know how Peter is going to navigate his life going forward now.  I kind of feel like Marisa Tomei’s character was kind  of wasted in this franchise (jmho), but she did a good job with what she was given.  

I LOVED LOVED LOVED seeing all of the old villains and Tobey and Andrew come back for this!  Sooo many memories! Omg...I squealed in the theater when Andrew popped up lol.  😂  And I cheered even more when Tobey appeared lol.  I KNEW IT!  I always said to myself that when a rumor just won’t go away, it usually means that there’s some TRUTH to the rumor lol.  I’m just happy that now the cast doesn’t have to lie anymore lol!  😂 Remember back when Jimmy Kimmel was asking Zendaya what kind of food Tobey and Andrew like for Thanksgiving, trying to trick her into spilling some details lol??  🤣  Anyway, I was shocked at how much screen time they got tbh, because I figured they would only get a quick cameo, but they got a LOT of screen time!  And seeing Tom being able to share the screen with those two who came before him must have been SUCH a huge moment for him!  My heart welled up with pride when I saw them all onscreen together, and the group  hug...Omg....  😭 😭 I know Tom must have cried on set lol.  What an honor....  I was so happy for him when I saw that scene.  🥰  I’m assuming this is “the scene” he was referring to that was a huge moment for him in his career.  Just a guess lol. 

This was such a huge and emotional film for everyone, and I can’t wait to see it again!  Andrew is still a GREAT Spider-Man, and Tobey is still a good Peter Parker. It’s like, they have their strengths, and then Tom is like good at being both Peter and Spider-Man in an effortless way.  It’s like, I never forget who he is underneath the suit when he puts it on, which is what happens to a lot of actors when they play dual roles in superhero films.  

RE: The Press Tour...  I LOVED it!  I think they handled it beautifully! Sooo many cute and sweet moments between the two of them.  🥰  When you compare their NWH press tour, to their FFH press tour, you can tell that they were definitely going through a breakup in 2019.  😔  They just seemed sooo much more relaxed, chill, and comfortable with each other the entire time during this NWH press tour.  Sooo many sweet moments that we will probably be posting in gifs and pics for months to come lol.  Even Jacob seemed way more relaxed during this press tour lol. Everyone seemed less on edge imo lol.  

 RE: The NWH Ending... Oh boy, the ending was sooo bittersweet!  😭  I honestly didn’t understand why Dr. Strange had to erase everyone’s memories of Peter Parker. Why couldn’t he just erase the fact that people linked him to Spider-Man?  I just didn’t understand that lol... But oh well, maybe I’m not supposed to think TOO deeply about it lol.  I felt so sad that Ned and MJ acted like they didn’t even know who he was at the end of the movie.... But, at the same time I kind of wonder how MJ and Ned would have even ended up being friends w/out the Peter connection tbh lol...because let’s be honest, even though they were both on Decathlon, MJ was pretty closed OFF in HOCO, and barely ever made any friends lol. 😂 

Anyway, it was so sad that Happy and MJ didn’t recognize Peter at all, but MJ is still wearing the black dhalia necklace at the end of the movie, so hopefully one day she’ll ask herself where she got that necklace and how it got broken lol.  😂  I just have hope/faith that she will figure something out or start to remember something about Peter in time.  I’ll be honest though, I’m really excited to see where the next movie takes us!  I LOVED seeing that  Peter is now venturing out on his own, he’s got his own apartment now, he’s studying for his GED’s, and he’s making his own suit.  I feel like the movie basically undid all of the mistakes/issues that some of the fans complained about in the franchise (ie. Peter not making his own suit, everything being handed to him by “Mr. Stark”, Peter never having to struggle, etc), and this is Sony/Marvel’s way of sort of starting from scratch again, with an eventual ADULT Peter Parker in the future films to come! 😊 I’m actually REALLY excited to see what’s next for Peter and his friends, especially since hopefuly they will be graduating or in college by then, and I’m excited by the prospect of there not being any Avengers or mentors in the films anymore lol.  😂   It’s time for Spider-Man to shoot his webs and swing through NYC on his own!  I’m sooo EXCITED for that, and I can’t wait to see Tom take on this role in a 4th movie!  

#sorry for the dissertation lol #nwh #my review

[pla-teau]

WANDAVISION EPISODE 6 THOUGHTS

SPOILERS AHEAD. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED!

GOOD GOD I HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS

GIF NOT MINE

pietro maximoff as ‘himself’ | in the opening credits, pietro is introduced as playing himself? this just made me more suspicious about him and who he really is. it’s like wanda (since she’s the one broadcasting her show) trying to convince us, and herself, that this is her dead brother.

billy talking to us | i know tommy talks to the camera at the beginning for a brief minute but it’s mainly billy talking. i think this was a hint at his incoming powers. plus, in promo trailers for the ‘modern family’ episode, wanda’s the one talking to the camera. i bet we’ll see the kids talk to the camera in that episode but i just find it interesting that billy’s the one leading us through the beginning of the episode. plus, in rewatching the episode, pietro seems to be aware of billy talking to us and reacts to when billy talks about vision and wanda’s relationship going through a rough patch.

haydick hayward’s an ass | there’s no denying that hayward has something up his suspicious ass. first with showing the footage of wanda stealing vision’s body. then, putting in a missile and planning on killing wanda. yea, the five years were hard for everyone - no one’s denying it but there’s just something that isn’t right. we clearly see that he’s hiding something when darcy finds a file of sorts that only hayward can see and that he’s been able to track vision without telling the team. either he’s got a personal vendetta or he’s covering for something more sinister. personally, i think he’s just pissed that wanda, one of the most powerful beings in the universe, took away vision’s body when he needed it to create more weapons and whatever else he was planning. i wanted monica to punch him in the throat when he told her it was better that she wasn’t around when her mom died. bless monica for keeping her cool.

wanda’s interaction with herb | their brief interaction makes me believe that herb is just as aware as agnes (if she happens to be a victim in all this and not agatha harkness) about what’s happening. we got a hint about it in episode 3 when he tried to tell vision what geraldine’s purpose in westview was. we see him mimic agnes from the previous episode when he asks wanda if there’s anything she wants changed. he looks to her the same way agnes did when she was thrown off script. both these times involve vision throwing everything off. vision’s the one that’s been off script from the beginning of the episode this time around instead of after a weird event.

residents being in a loop or immobile | as vision gets farther from wanda and explores westview, it’s evident that there’s something off about the people. we get that shot of the woman and presumably her husband stuck in a time loop of hanging decorations and putting a pumpkin on the front steps. the woman not only sheds a tear but her hands look purplish presumably because of the cold or being stuck doing the same task for god knows how long. clearly, the woman’s in pain and is aware that she can’t break free. as vision gets closer to the loop, residents are completely immobile and stuck wherever they stand. it’s eerie and further proves that this may be wanda’s doing and wherever she is, it’s easy for the residents to be active or for her to control those near her. it could also mean that the closer you are to the hex’s border, that you become immobile as you’re farther removed from the fantasy life wanda has created.

yo-magic commercial | by far the creepiest and most disturbing commercial in the series. i’ve seen people theorize that this commercial is referring to wanda’s detainment on the raft in civil war. it would make sense since the yogurt could represent wanda’s powers and opening the lid should be simple and easy, just like using your powers. on the raft, wanda was detained with a straitjacket and a collar on her neck so she couldn’t use her magic. the island could represent the raft since it was in the ocean. ‘yo-magic, the snack for survivors’ could represent wanda being a survivor in many instances: strücker’s experiments, the battle of sokovia and the lagos incident.

pietro’s ‘part’ | when wanda questions pietro, he gets defensive about how he’s just trying to do his part: come unexpectedly, create tension with vision, stir up trouble with the twins, and ultimately give wanda grief. grief holding a double meaning. obviously, pietro did bring wanda grief when he died in 2015 but it also means to cause trouble which he has done since his arrival to westview. whenever wanda questions him about their childhood or tries to trip him up, pietro retorts with a question or makes rather meta remarks about westview.

the details are fuzzy | the comment pietro makes after a moment of silence between them. he claims he got shot in the middle of the street and next thing he knew wanda was calling her. i think when ‘pietro’ was brought into the westview reality, his memories mixed with those of wanda’s pietro or skewed them at least - it’s probably why things seem hazy to him and can see that wanda doesn’t believe him to be the pietro she remembers. pietro knows he looks different to wanda and it’s like a comment to us because even though pietro only appeared in one movie with wanda - we the audience know he’s not the same actor. this could also be mephisto really mind tripping wanda because she would remember what her brother looked like but the memories are remembered differently. enough to keep her on edge with him and make her suspect but not want to because he also says “i knew you needed me” no stranger would say that right? of course, siblings and family can tell when another member needs them. this episode really makes you laugh at pietro’s antics but go down a rabbit hole with every line he says.

the hex’s effects on people | when darcy explains to monica that her cells have been greatly affected by her entrance and departure from the hex, it doesn’t seem like monica is surprised. maybe this is hinting that monica already has her powers or simply mean that she’s putting on a poker face to hide her fear (or astonishment) at wanda’s level of power. it’s interesting to see if wanda’s gonna be responsible for birthing some mutants or at least awakening the x gene if it hasn’t already. does it mean that anyone can simply leave or that if you leave, you’ll come out with serious side effects that are possibly life threatening? monica states at the end that she’s seen cells in remission which makes me believe that this is hinting at the x gene. we’ve seen what the hex does once you go in, but what happens if an ordinary westview resident leaves?

agnes and vision | we see agnes in her car supposedly leaving town or as she claims, she got ‘lost’. when vision takes her out of her trance, agnes seems shaken and even questions if she’s dead. she also seems to confirm that wanda is the one controlling everyone because she doesn’t even let them think about leaving westview. we see more of where vision’s memory stands because he doesn’t remember (or know) that he was an avenger and that he died (twice). when she says that all is lost, she quickly starts laughing maniacally like a witch. this again makes me think that agnes knows more than anyone what’s going on. assessing what she got from vision, she’s probably laughing because it’s amazing to her that wanda’s gotten so powerful and maybe everything is going according to plan - she just possibly couldn’t overcome wanda’s control and only has a heightened awareness of the situation. there’s no mention of ralph this episode and you would think she’d bring along her husband to leave and go to her desired destination in town. i don’t know, i still think she’s got an ulterior motive and plays a bigger part in all of this.

the twins’ conversation | after sharing a sweet moment, pietro quickly calls out the obvious - the kids. only in episode 3 did children finally come into the show through billy and tommy. now, for halloween, all the kids are out and enjoying halloween. pietro, like rapid fire, remarks that wanda probably kept them peacefully asleep in their beds and didn’t wake them until now for the “occasional holiday episode cameo” so as not to traumatize them even more since she’s always been the “empathetic twin”. he seems to know that this is all in a television reality which gives him even more awareness than any other supporting character we’ve met so far. he even goes into assessing (and somewhat praising?) wanda’s handling of this whole westview reality as ethically possible. he knows that wanda wouldn’t rewrite everything: couples and families stay together and personalities aren’t far off from what they are. with this, it heavily hints that this isn’t the pietro we’ve known in the mcu or the peter from the x-men universe. to me, this furthers the point that this ‘pietro’ is just a puppet for whoever is behind all this (or just a multiverse version of piet) since he seems more impressed than anything by wanda’s powers. also, he’s been the only one to ask what we’ve all been thinking since the first episode: how the hell did wanda do this? once again, wanda doesn’t remember how all of it started which still makes me thinks she was probably taken advantage of by someone and earlier in the episode when recounting a childhood memory, pietro comments that she’s probably suppressed the trauma hence why she doesn’t remember it the same way. at the end, this could all be wanda’s doing due to her feeling so alone and grieving that she may have suppressed that memory of how this all started.

pietro’s corpse | again, us the audience and wanda are reminded that this universe’s pietro is dead. it’s another person closest to wanda that isn’t alive - harking back to her comment about feeling so alone and endless nothingness. this may just be that when wanda lets her guard down and is possibly at peace with a situation, this one being of her accepting that this is the pietro that’s going to be her brother that sticks with her moving forward, she’s reminded of the truth - none of it is real and she can’t bring them back.

vision’s breakout from the hex | as we’ve seen in promos, vision is able to break through the hex. what we were hit with was vision nearly getting killed...again. it seems that he can’t live beyond the hex either due to him just being parts when wanda recovered him or because wanda won’t let him go. either way, vision can’t live outside of westview. it physically seems like wanda can’t let him go because as he steps out of the hex and is being torn apart, the hex looks like it’s trying to pull him back into it. i know the hex was wanda’s doing but this physically makes it seem as if wanda can’t let him go and is holding him back. it’s kind of true because since vision became more aware, he’s been breaking away from wanda and she’s been trying to keep him in place and on script so that they can be happy together. in their fight in the previous episode, she says that all of this is for them as to say that everything she’s doing is for their happiness. it’s a twisted way of showing how vision can’t live without wanda since it seems that she’s the one keeping him alive.

wanda expanding the hex | wanda’s clearly gotten more powerful over the years and this episode really shows us how fucking powerful she is on her own. it’s hysterical that the base and the most of the agents are turned into circus acts such as clowns. i’ll admit i’m upset darcy got sucked in and not hayward. i’m very interested to see who monica’s guy on the outside is. with wanda expanding the hex, it’s becoming more evident that wanda may be the ‘villain’ of the show or if there is someone else behind all of this, we may not see them until multiverse of madness. still, i believe wanda is victim in some capacity - even if it means she’s fallen victim to her trauma and grief.

#wandavision #wandavision spoilers #scar’s theories #scar tries to piece together what she can each week #wanda maximoff #pietro maximoff #peter maximoff #vision #mcu #marvel #monica rambeau #jimmy woo #darcy lewis #billy kaplan #tommy shepard #speed #wiccan

[sophieakatz]

Thursday Thoughts: Marvel What If’s Fridging Problem

This blog post contains spoilers for the first seven episodes of Marvel What If and also some key plot points from the Ant-Man movies.

Time… Space… Reality… It’s more than a linear path. It’s a prism of endless possibility…

…but women leading happy, healthy lives, without a man’s feelings being the most important thing in her world? Nah, that’s too impossible!

I mentioned last week in my post about the animated Marvel series What If…? that this show has a fridging problem. If you’ve been following me for a while, you may remember that I’ve talked about the Marvel Cinematic Universe and the “fridged woman” trope before, in my Thursday Thoughts about Ant-Man and the Wasp, but let me summarize:

“Fridging” is a story trope in which a (male) hero’s (female) loved one is killed in order to motivate the hero to take action. This trope is common to superhero comics and films. The problem with this trope is that the fridged woman is more plot device than character. She exists to die; the male character’s emotions are more important than her life.

Now, Ant-Man and the Wasp provides a fascinating commentary on its trope. In the previous Ant-Man movie, Janet Van Dyne was a fridged woman – her only purpose in the film was to die so that Hank Pym would be motivated by his grief to choose Scott to be Ant-Man instead of his daughter, Hope. But Wasp gives Janet the chance to unfridge herself. She’s not only alive, but she plays an active role in her own rescue, and she is also essential to solving all the other conflicts in the movie.

If you’ve seen episodes three and five of What If, then you probably know what I’m going to say next.

THEY RE-FRIDGED JANET VAN DYNE!!! TWICE!!! AND HER DAUGHTER, TOO!!!

*takes a deep breath*

*lets it out again*

In Episode Three, “What If… the World Lost Its Mightiest Heroes?” we follow Nick Fury on the worst week of his life. Apparently, sometime before this episode began, Hope Van Dyne became a SHIELD agent and died on one of their missions. We don’t get to see this; we only learn that this happened when Hank Pym and Loki-disguised-as-Fury argue over Hope’s gravestone. Hope’s death drove Hank over the edge of despair, since he already blamed SHIELD for the death of his wife, and so he decided to ruin Nick Fury’s life by murdering the candidates for the Avengers Initiative.

We never learn why Hope decided to join SHIELD or what the mission she went on meant to her. What Hope felt or wanted does not matter to this story. Hank’s feelings matter instead.

Also, as if it wasn’t enough to fridge the Van Dyne women, there’s arguably one other fridged woman in this story. Remember how I said that this is the worst week of Nick Fury’s life? Everyone who dies in this episode dies because it will hurt Fury; they are plot devices in his story instead of the heroes of their own story. This includes Natasha Romanoff. In-universe, Hank Pym fridges her in hopes of hurting Nick Fury.

I was pretty mad about this. But at the time, I didn’t think it would get any worse.

*

Episode Five pits the Avengers against a zombie apocalypse. Now, would anyone like to guess the origin of this apocalypse? Who is the first victim of the zombie plague?

JANET. VAN. DYNE.

Because the writers of this show can’t help but shove her back in the fridge. And they can’t help but kill off all the women in this episode, too.

Now, I know what you’re going to say. “Everyone’s death is free game in this episode! That’s the point of the whole zombie apocalypse thing!” And, sure, you’re right. Pretty much everyone dies, and if you view this episode in isolation, there’s nothing wrong with that.

But I’m not talking about viewing this episode as an isolated incident. I’m looking at it as a part of a trend, and in this trend, superhero writers fridge their female characters. In this episode, the axed women include Sharon Carter, Okoye, and, once again, HOPE VAN DYNE.

I admit that Hope gets a great speech about her emotions and motivations before she sacrifices herself. She steps up and demands the right to be the hero of her own story. However, her death is ultimately framed as an emotional motivator for Peter – her final words are to tell Peter to “keep smiling.” Later, we get a second round of Hope’s death being about a man’s feelings, when Scott-in-the-jar sees and reacts to her giant zombie form, and Peter comforts him.

(Tell me, What If, why is it possible for Scott Lang to survive as a head in a jar, but not possible for any woman to survive this episode?)

I don’t want to spend too much time on this episode, but we could also talk about Wanda Maximoff. We don’t know what she wants or how she feels, since she’s, you know, a zombie. But her zombification provides Vision’s motivation for all the villainous decisions he makes in this episode. The show also makes a point of saying that zombie-Wanda is just too darn powerful, and so there’s no way for Vision to cure her like he cured Scott-in-a-jar. I guess fridged women just can’t get a miraculous cure.

*

Actually, wait – let’s talk a little more about this show’s claim that there’s no miraculous way to save a fridged woman.

Episode Four, “What If… Doctor Strange Lost His Heart Instead of His Hands?” is basically “Fridged Woman: The Episode.” It is stated in dialogue that Dr. Christine Palmer must die because her death motivates Strange to become a sorcerer. The whole point of the episode is that Strange cannot save her and that he is wrong to try. If Christine doesn’t die, then the universe ends.

This tells me that the writers of this show know what they’re doing. They know what fridging is. They can use the trope and even provide meta-commentary on it. But they don’t seem to have any interest in moving beyond it, even though they could.

Because here’s the thing – I know how Strange could have saved Christine. The Ancient One says that Christine’s death is the only reason why Strange seeks out the mystic arts… but that’s not true. We all know that’s not true. Even the title of this episode knows that that’s not true. Strange would be motivated to seek out the mystic arts if he lost his hands.

What if the Doctor Strange of this reality went back in time, ruined his relationship with Christine so she wouldn’t want to go with him that night, and got himself horrifically injured in the car crash? He’d be prioritizing her life over his own, making sure that she got to live her own life, and he would preserve the timeline by creating the events of the canon movie.

It could have happened. This show is supposed to be a prism of endless possibility. It could be a show about moving beyond tired tropes and exploring new options. But instead, What If doubles down on the idea that the woman must die.

*

At this point, you might say, “Okay, Sophie, but not every episode of What If fridges its women! Did you forget that the very first episode of this show is all about Peggy Carter?”

Here’s the thing: even when the women live, their feelings matter less to the plot than the men’s.

If you want to hear about that, come back next week. This Thursday Thoughts is way too long, and I need a break.

Be good to yourself, be kind to each other, and you’ll hear from me again soon!

#thursday thoughts #marvel #mcu #marvel what if #what if #marvel cinematic universe #fridging #fridged women #tropes #fridging trope #stuffed in the fridge #ant man #ant man and the wasp #janet van dyne #hope van dyne #doctor strange #nick fury #natasha romanoff #wanda maximoff #vision #zombies #zombie apocalypse #spoilers #media analysis #reviews