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#ok no one cares delusion move on

oceanxveiined · 8 months

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Genshin Verse Side Muses:

*Mentions of abuse, dysfunctional families, manipulation, torture, violence, experimentation, ableism, transphobia, and death, not necessarily all present/to various extents depending on each bio, ahead.

1) Chang Da’Lun (500+/appears 23): Half-Adeptus, born some time before the Cataclysm. He can shift into a smaller birdlike form at will, though it does take a bit out of him to switch back. It doesn’t stop him from shifting into it on his own or a friend's whim though.

His father was a Yaksha named Wuye, alias Caligo, who had inevitably become consumed by his karmic debt and became more akin to a malevolent demon. Though admittedly, the adeptus had already possessed quite the cruel streak, even long before he’d fallen. Being driven mad by the karmic debt meant his slaughters turned to fellow adepti and humans alike, which had also grown to be far more frequent and brutal. Each consumed opponent led his power to grow as he’d absorb their vitality and any abilities they possessed.

By contrast Da’lun’s mother, Anhe, had been fully human, having been with a group of treasure hunters who’d taken her from her family in ransom when they’d strayed too close to the maddened Yaksha’s territory. When they had realized and tried to sneak away, she risked her life to draw Wuye out and betrayed them all in a desperate bid for freedom and power. She offered them all to be slaughtered and devoured by the corrupted Yaksha, as well as to offered to lure more to satisfy his bloodlust for incentive to make him spare her own life. She even offered to be his consort as well, to let herself be used by him as he saw fit, sparing no expense to give anything and everything she could to ensure she survived this encounter. He conceded out of convenience, taking her as promised and continuing his slaughters about Wuwang Hill with her aid.

Anhe delighted in having his favor, even with how terrified of him she’d been at first, growing more and more sadistic herself with every massacred he’d rend, every death scream that filled her ears while she remained unscathed. The thrill of power and having a mate so powerful to keep it was too alluring and far too intoxicating, she would never dream of ever parting from him.

Only for her to end up alone and powerless anyway when the former Yaksha was killed shortly after the birth of Da’Lun.

Much of his childhood had been Anhe relentlessly tormenting him, using him as a scapegoat for how her life had fallen apart and due to having been affected by his father’s karmic debt as well ( both in her continued presence alongside him up until that point and in stubbornly lingering at his lair where the miasma was all concentrated rather than returning home with him gone ). Da’Lun took the abuse without protest, wholeheartedly believing her and his own guilt. He spent his whole life striving to ‘make up’ for his existence, in bringing her gifts and attempting to make her life easier every way he could. To protect and provide for her as his father had intended.

It all came to a crashing stop when his mother at last succumbed to the cursed energy infesting their home. Or so he tells himself and anyone who ponders of her fate, not wanting to admit he himself had killed and devoured her. It had been when she’d tried to end his life first and the resulting corruption of them both had his adeptal nature spiraling out of control during the struggle. His Electro Vision had been what had ultimately murdered her, bestowed upon him during his struggle as she denounced and cursed him, which he hadn’t realized until the morning after.

Plagued with guilt and fear, and knowing he must have taken on her share of the karmic debt's influence, his father's ability considered, he traveled Teyvat to distance himself from his former home for a few years. For 500 years, he witnessed beauty and horrors alike throughout it all, before he decided to settle some time in Sumeru. His main aim had been to learn all he could on humans and their histories ( learning from each Darshan over the course of the centuries he’d spent there, changing his appearance every time he’d reapply ), as well as to pass the time in a way that would not aggravate lingering traces of his father’s influence. It was while he learnt from the Amurta Darshan when he met Danae. With time to spare, and admittedly intrigued by the utter madness of her ideas and her equally frenzied determination to see such impossible fantasies made reality, he signed a contract to assist her in any endeavors she may undertake for them, as she would his own, per its terms. They would maintain it dedicatedly before briefly parting ways when her illicit studies were discovered.

He himself remained at the Akademiya mere weeks before deciding his life had dulled too much without her odd ideas and eccentric ( not to mention at times exceedingly cruel ) methods, setting off to travel again in search of her. Traveling through his homeland, he would come to meet Ozzy, whom he would follow to Mondstadt, after he’d found him interesting company, especially when the man would encourage him to not feel so wary of the karmic debt’s influence. There, he would become a founding member of his gang when it resulted that the man’s interest had been likewise piqued and thus given him the invitation to stay.

Ozzy was able to locate and drag Danae into his business thanks to Da’Lun’s scheming and using the terms of their contract to rope her in.

What could he say? He would be a fool to let one of his favorite pieces go. Just as he would the chance to see what would come out of putting so many volatile little components together.

Surely the end result would be most spectacular indeed.

Oswald “Ozzy” Beauregard / Ásvaldr Bjornsson (appears early 20s): One of the remaining survivors of Khaenri’ah, though he keeps that card very close to his chest. Only Da’Lun is actually aware of said fact, due to their shared longevity and closer bond compared to many of the others. If asked of his origin, he will always give the half-truth that he is of the Sumeru region.

Stricken with immortality, Ozzy tends to push the limits of what said immortality will do for him, especially since his perception of pain and danger has been skewed severely by his curse. For the longest time, he had wandered about the desert and Sumeru’s forests, picking fight after fight using the very Abyssal energies he’d been corrupted with. Even with no formal combat training outside teachings he learnt as apprentice mage, his frenzied manner tended to allow him to prove a match for the hilichurls, Eremites, and Treasure Hoarders he encountered, leaving brutalized corpses and wreckages in his wake, and plenty a scar to mar his own body. Some of which healed worse off than others due to his inability and lack of real want to properly care for himself. Eventually, he would be found and formally taken in by the Fatui when he had too grievously injured to fight them off.

Not that he would have wanted to even if he could, considering how much they piqued his interest.

He had been with them long before Danae had joined, having willingly surrendered himself to be experimented on by Dottore out of boredom and curiosity to see what the man could get out of it. As well as a vain hope to possibly stave off his Erosion and keep his mind with the Abyssal energies eating away at it. Needless to say, Ozzy’s sanity still had taken quite the toll throughout the centuries he’s been alive, and the outright torture he faced through the time he’d been with them had truly not helped in the least. Especially not while being injected with god remains steadily twisted up his mind, more and more. The Abyssal energy he’d already been afflicted with had ironically been what helped keep himself through it though, allowing him to fully assimilate the god’s lingering energy into himself and steady his condition.

When Danae had decided to desert the Fatui, she broke Ozzy out from containment and left him an experimental Delusion to have him serve as a diversion so she could escape, figuring he would have some exploitable grudge that would prompt him to seek vengeance. And he served his purpose well, slaughtering Fatuus after Fatuus he encountered with the three tail-like, bladed chains he could manifest from it. He did so with great delight and utmost zeal, damn near like an animal in frenzy. But in truth, he really cared not for getting even. He rather merely wanted enrichment, as he called it.

While Danae had figured the Delusion would simply kill him in the end, his own longevity and the god remains he’d assimilated allowed him to use the Delusion so freely without truly permanent consequences, though still at certain cost to his body after particularly prolonged usage. It severely aggravates the place with the god remains had been injected, low at his right side where the Abyssal energy was at its highest concentration. Due to it also being the place of his most severe wound and one of the ones that truly never healed properly, it leaves him feeling as though something had been gouged right out every time he’d stop its use. Still, in the moment of that first use, all he could think of was the thrill of the fighting and being able to run about, free at last. To this day, that very thrill is what keeps him using it, even knowing the painful consequences.

The euphoric high he felt back then lead him to completely destroy the location all together, both in his own kills and in tampering the delicate machinery that would consume the rest of the location along with it in the ensuing explosions. He himself made his getaway before the destruction caught him up along with everything else, after finding and bringing along a fellow victim ( not that he consciously saw himself as such ) of the Fatui experiments.

After hearing tales of Monstadt, her homeland, the idea of a nation whose Archon had no real say in its ruling appealed to him greatly, Thus, he would hijack and man a Fatui ship to gain leave off Inazuma, heading to the Southern side of Liyue, and making their journey back to Mond that way.

Ozzy’s aim in making the gang had solely been to collect interesting people to surround himself with, nothing more nothing less. Something to help stave off ennui and keep his mind sharp; a little pet project he could maintain or ruin at his leisure when the time came. It only became a formal organization incidentally, but he finds it a decent pastime to run it and especially the business he and Da’Lun came up with as a front.

Due to past experiences, he has a mild to severely violent visceral reaction to fire based abilities; which is only worsened by his love of deliberately avoiding triggering his own phobia and habit of gambling with extreme stakes, typically involving fire in some way.

What sort of gambling man would he be if he let something like that stop him, after all?

Elisabeth “Eliza” Merrimack (18) - A Mondsadt-born girl whose family lineage traces back to the Imunlaukr clan, after the clan had broken up due to a schism. Originally Visionless, she would gain a Dendro Vision ( chronologically set late in the events of the Sumeru Archon Quest ) and take up Catalyst-based combat.

The eldest daughter of her main family at the time, she had a horse riding accident in her youth that left her paraplegic, exhibiting little to no movement in her legs even after treatment at the church. The fact that it had taken them some time to get her there, seeing as she had been lost for days, was probably behind it. Regardless, her family despaired at the incident, frantically trying everything they could to heal her, even as the church insisted nothing could be done. Even as she herself tried to reason it was alright; that she didn't need to be, having accepted their verdict when her family could not. And they never truly did.

When she was fifteen, the Merrimacks ultimately accepted an offer from the Fatui to aid them ( though in hindsight, Eliza couldn’t but wonder if it had been seen as an excuse to have them take her off their hands ), and carted her off far from home. Betrayed at her family giving her away so easily, especially after she realized they would not check up on her or visit, Eliza at last fell into despair after seeing what awaited her at the hands of the Fatui. Her parents had been lied to, after all–Eliza had not been taken in to receive care, instead becoming subjected to experiments with god remains like every other subject they got their hands on.

And no one would be aware of that to come save her. Assuming they would even care to try if they did.

Things began to change years later after meeting Danae, who was assigned to oversee her. To be precise, Danae had at first been in charge of her post-op treatments, ensuring the effects of the experiments didn’t disrupt her vitals and in keeping her alive overall. They began to know more of each other and interact after the then Fatuus had been promoted and would have her as an exclusive subject, due to her ideas and personal project.

Even with how callous Danae could be, she and Eliza eventually came to get along well due to Eliza coming to understand Danae’s wordless gestures and tough-love care after the former had begun to get attached to Eliza. Said care usually being in the form of snuck treats and material comforts. It wasn’t until later on in their friendship that Eliza learned it had been because she reminded Danae of her younger brother, that she had specifically requested to oversee her treatments because she wanted to help her like she'd intended to help him. Learning why and how she intended to do that did embitter Eliza rather than endear her though.

That said, they truly became each other’s first real friend and confidante after Eliza had been–even if gruffly–encouraged by Danae to start speaking up for herself and the first thing Eliza did was tell her off for thinking she ought to ‘fix’ her and any other person, for that matter. It had been a gut reaction based on Eliza’s own resentment of how her family regarded her as well as the god remains in her acting up due to her agitation.

Still, even while the burst of temper had startled Eliza, it had been enough for Danae to not only respect the girl, but also to begin to doubt her own goals. Most notably, it was enough to prompt the Fatuus to pick up her old ideas anew rather than continuing the original experiment plan she’d had altogether, choosing to help make amends in fashioning Eliza a special wheelchair to take her out for enrichment. Not that Danae would ever admit that’s what it had been for, even in present day, but Eliza understood all the same.

The day Danae broke out, she had actively tried to reach Eliza to bring her along, but was unable to in the chaos she’d wrought and severely underestimated. Thinking her dead, she prioritized her own survival and left without a second thought.

Eliza hadn’t realized she’d been abandoned once again, rather had been merely confused by the happening and chaos around her. She patiently awaited Danae to come, trusting the Fatuus to soon fill her in and protect her if need be. Instead, it was the newly freed Ozzy who had found Eliza and offered to bring her along after having slaughtered her guards and hearing her request to see the stars outside before he ‘put her out of her misery’ had moved him.

And especially because she then tried to cut his throat the instant he got close enough to carry her.

After convincing her he did want to bring her along, not kill her, she at last conceded and let him take her away from the wreckage of the lab. Eliza's tales of her home nation had been the reason Ozzy had chosen to settle there, and she was more than happy to return with him, though flares ups of the god remains in her did pose some problems both were unsure of how to handle. Not that he trusted anyone in Teyvat to be able to take care of her as they should, especially considering how she’d ended up in the Fatui’s hands in the first place.

Still, she is grateful he took it upon himself to allow her to stay by his side as his ward, even while she couldn’t offer him much in return in terms of fighting skill, money, or knowledge besides that of her home. When he founded his gang, she did find purpose in aiding with the logistics aspect of running the front for his gang, using the learnings of her youth. Without her, it would have fallen apart from the start, Ozzy would always say, leaving her giddy with excitement and her heart full. After finding and enacting a solution to quell the god remains in her ( taken place post-Sumeru archon quest, story-wise ), she would start taking a more active role in the gang as aid to their resident healer. In addition, her wheelchair would be adapted for combat, to suit her needs and her Vision’s abilities.

She is well aware that elemental concentrations worsen her flare ups, but she still constantly insists upon staying with everyone else in the gang and utilizing a soothing device relying on Elemental energy anyways. She’d rather spend it in comfort and with her friends, even the lot of them encourage her to when she frets what could come out of it. Once the traces of god remains in her would be sealed off enough, she is able to head out with them with her wheelchair from that point on, as well as set at ease her fears of hurting them. She still feels chronic flares up of pain due to her affliction, but with less risk of it going out of control, she can bear it a lot easier.

After all she’d been through, this was nothing. Nothing, in the face of being able to smile and delight in her life to the fullest once more.

Tyonna Durene (19): Hailing from Natlan, Durene is essentially a demigodess, born from the union of a mortal man, Jevaun, and minor goddess Oloku, whom he had ensnared with a talisman along with several of his friends and fellow warriors when her tempests had threatened their home village.

Bound to human form, Oloku had been content in their union at first when the man had been kinder to her than the others, up until her husband began to get exceedingly paranoid and possessive of her following being imbued with several of her blessings. She began to grow miserable, cursing Jevaun and unable to do much to fight him as her powers had become considerably weaker, especially after Durene’s birth. And it didn’t help that it was especially so because the man kept her away from the sea, an important source of vitality for her. Still the goddess did not fault her daughter upon her birth, teaching Durene the ways to be a soothsayer and healer so she could properly go through the initiation process and her actual training in the village once she was of the apt age.

Durene took to her learnings quite well, eager at the thought of being able to contribute to village this way. She particularly excelled in serving as an herbalist and healer, though she did work hard to improve her skills when it came to divination to impress her mother. It always did seem to put Oloku in a far better mood whenever she did, as well as when she would listen to her mother’s tales of gods and places she’d been, of her life prior to being confined to mortal form. Of their Archon, and her great deeds. More than anything, she loved singing for her mother, songs she learned from her and the others in the village, seeing how her voice seemed to bring the goddess some semblance of solace, when she felt her weakest.

At twelve years old, Durene learned the full story of her mother’s plight. Horrified and moved, she would elect to repay her mother all she’s taught her in concocting a clever plan to gleam out from her drunken father the location of each piece of the talisman needed to complete the needed ritual and free the goddess. With this knowledge, Durene was able to find and bring them to her mother, who would aid her in completing the necessary steps. As her bonds would break and her strength returned, Oloku lamented being unable to take her child with her. Promising to return with a means to ascend her as soon as she could, the goddess would transform into a pillar hundreds of crabs that would scatter into the sea and leave Durene standing alone at the outcropping. Bittersweet and all-too brief as their parting was, she felt content in knowing her mother would be happy at last.

The good mood would not last long, as Jevaun flew into a deadly rage in realizing what had happened when he awoke to the sounds of a howling sea storm after she returned home.

His rage did not frighten her, even as he demanded answers. Did the she not care about their village? Of what the goddess would do to them, now that she was free? Of why she’d been confined to mortality in the first place?

Durene truly cared not, insisting Oloku had borne and suffered enough under his suffocating hold. If they were all to be destroyed in her vengeful wrath, it was for the slight they’d done against her, and thus truly fair.

Her answers would brand her a traitor in the eyes of her father and, to his claims, their people. To ensure the goddess wouldn’t completely destroy them, he locked Durene away and made sure the goddess could never find her, and no one would in turn ever think to help free her.

She couldn’t say how much time had passed since he’d left her there. Days went by languishing in her prison, in the presence of no one else but her father, whenever he would stop by to bring her food. If her refusal to concede to his pleas to betray her mother and attempts to break out didn’t enrage him enough to leave her to her own devices the next few, that was. It wasn’t until she’d exhausted every attempt at escaping that Durene formulated a plan to escape.

The next time Jevaun came to see her, he found his daughter seemingly unresponsive. The man freed her from her bonds and frantically attempted to wake her, only to find his daughter conscious after all, taking advantage of his closeness to grab hold of him. The man was only able to catch a brief glimpse of her newly bequeathed Anemo Vision mere moments before she would sap the breath from his lungs. Her face twisted in every trace of hatred and resentment she felt towards him was the last thing he’d ever see as he would succumb. Durene would hold no remorse for her actions, even as the village people would come to find her and try to seize her in retaliation.

Escaping their clutches and leaving them to the mercy of her mother’s wrath, Durene would take to travel about Teyvat as a wandering soothsayer, making a pretty coin on divination and healing. Truly, that whole time she had been seeking a way she may ascend to join her mother, sparing no expense wherever she may go. She'd even forged a binding vow for herself, giving up her tongue, and thus ability to speak in exchange for power. Through her journey, she fostered a particular resentment born in her in Sumeru and the way the Akademiya had gone about managing knowledge at the time ( the reason for having rejected entry for her, thinking her to be of the desert folk ). Which lead to her resolving to ensure that place would be the first she may pay a visit to once she reached her goal, to tear it asunder for the offense, seeing as its god would surely not be able to match her when the time came.

It was in being found by Ozzy in Liyue and being requested to come with him, Eliza, and Da'Lun along the way that she came to have company once more. The final founding member of his gang, she would happily settle in Mond with them. But by no means does this mean she had given up on her goal. With Da'Lun and his influence, as well as the addition of Danae later on, Durene would find use in the team’s members to further seek the information she required for her own ultimate goal. Who knew, perhaps she would just need to be a little more patient, just a little bit longer.

Well, fine by her. That, she had plenty practice in.

Jaeda Purmizra (18): The daughter of an affluent family in Sumeru and the most recent addition to Ozzy’s gang. She joined them after running away from home and continuously hitching rides on caravans then later merchant ships that guided her to Mondstadt, where she’d been caught stealing from Ozzy’s tavern. Danae had nearly left her bound and at the complete mercy of Treasure Hoarders as punishment, had Eliza not intervened and personally pleaded her case to Ozzy. He accepted only because he knew it would piss off Danae in the process, and because he was intrigued by her Vision in particular,

Born male and then named Jahar, she had been the family’s sole heir and was raised into the role accordingly ( read: impossibly strict ) by her mother. It was thanks to a young servant girl who tended to her every need that she even began to experiment with and realized her actual gender identity. All because the girl had wanted to play dress up and needed a friend to help her, not realizing all the decorum she was breaking in daring to ask the heir, of all people, such a thing.

It had been quite the relief in realizing it, though, even when she hadn’t been actively searching for it. But to her, it meant everything from then on. And it meant despair, as she continued to masquerade as her mother’s precious only son and heir. She didn’t want to upset her mother, after all, especially since the woman banked so much of her bid for power as head of the family upon her. So she kept that her little secret, playing with the girl and growing up happily alongside her over the years.

Up until she and the girl had been caught playing.

The girl had been punished severely for her ‘crime’ and Jade was forced to bear witness to the bloody ordeal for humoring her. Only after the girl was left near death did Jade face her own punishment, the horrid humiliation her mother enforced upon her before an audience of the woman’s closest friends and advisers.

The anger she felt in seeing the life dwindling in her friend’s eyes and the cruelty she faced ignited a single-minded determination to make every last person in the room pay for her beloved friend's pain, enough to for her to black out, coming to only when her mother had screamed.

Snapping back to consciousness, Jade felt bloodcurdling horror and cathartic relief in realizing she’d burnt her mother’s lovely face beyond recognition, every other cruel person who’d participated in her torment left as naught but charred corpses in her wake. In spotting the gleaming, blood-red gem clutched tightly in her hand.

She didn’t stay long, stealing her friend away and running away from home with an intent to bring her along. They could make a life together away from them now, she was sure of it. She had a Pyro Vision after all, she was no longer powerless to protect them!

With the severity of the girl’s wounds though, her friend had little time left. With her last breath, the girl made her promise to live life for the both of them and to be happy. To stay safe, and never let anyone dictate how she may live her life ever again.

That day, Jahar died along with the servant girl. In his place and bearing the name of that girl to carry on her memory, Jaeda would set off to find that happiness she’d promised.

Mako du Raie (16): A Visionless young heir to a prolific merchant family in Fontaine, and the member who had joined the Snake-Eyes gang before Danae and Tua had. His father, Benshi, had been a doushin from Inazuma and met Mako’s mother, Marie, while she learnt the trade from her father, prior to the Sakoku Decree being fully enacted. Mako is their illegitimate child, though he was claimed to be his mother’s younger brother to save face for the family. As such, he was raised primarily under the strict watch of his grandmother and even stole the title of heir to the family from Marie, due to the story they’d given him.

He took to his studies like a fish to water, being quite bright and precocious for his age. And in his eagerness to pursue his grandmother’s approval, he went far above and beyond the efforts his mother had ever put into her own. The family agreed he was definitely a far more suitable heir than she as a result, though he avoided his mother’s jealous wrath by asking she be involved in everything he did. Like this, the woman’s temperament was appeased, her going as far as to even take credit behind his talent and boast of him to all who would meet them.

In all honesty, he would have been content enough handing her the reins of the family, had a business venture to Mondstadt not changed his mind entirely. His mother’s boasting lead to drawing Ozzy’s attention, the man having been seeking a nice, convenient little liaison for his gang’s front. With the boy being as young as he was, not only would he be easy to exploit, but his talent and influence would absolutely prove worth the effort to draw him in, just as he'd hope.

As such, Da'Lun would be the one to meet and gain his trust. To persuade him to join Ozzy’s gang as their merchant contact. And, to ensure Mako’s position and control over his family’s affairs, Da'Lun would even go as far as to encourage Mako to eliminate each and every family member that could possibly stand in his way of managing it all himself.

Mako couldn’t help but give in, even with how complacent he’d been before. All it took was being given the affection and doting he always wanted, rather than praises for his potential, stolen credit, and empty words he knew better than to believe. It took one friend, who cared and spoiled him so, to make him turn his previous wishes before and pursue a more ruthless ambition without a qualm. Even as he gazed into his mother’s dulling eyes, he would only feel a strong sense of satisfaction as Da'Lun would ruffle his hair with praises aplenty before carrying him back to Ozzy’s little haunt.

He knew full well he was to be used by Ozzy’s group, having realized it early on in Da'Lun’s attempts to worm his way into his heart. But once he’d met with the others and Ozzy himself, there was no longer a single trace of lingering doubt in his heart. Looking at the lot of them gathered to see him, all varying shades of proud of what he’d accomplished, no matter how horrific, he determined the excitement and validation that came with what they did was a lot better than living his life within conventional rules.

Where else could he feel like he was at the top of the world like this?

Tusitala / Tua (20): Originally hailing from a coastal village in Natlan then migrating to and settling in Liyue due to his father’s relentless pursuit of riches and lack of interest in the wars that ravaged their nation, Tua had been a Treasure Hoarder well before his coming of age. He is rather proud of the fact, often boasting of his own successes compared to other factions, especially after he’s fought his way through a group of them.

At first it had been at his father’s urging that he joined and stayed with the Treasure Hoarders they’d joined up with. It was only to serve as something to make for a side hustle while his father took care of other business dealings at first ( taking care of logistics for that gang while Tua himself got to take on the more dangerous aspects ), then it became Tua’s obsession as his own greed grew, right along his addiction for every victory and bounty he secured them.

He was quite content with this life, thinking himself the luckiest man in the world to have this chance. Even if he did have to surrender near all of his share of the spoils to his father, to quell the man's avarice. But with what he was allowed to keep or what he squirreled away to pass off as such later, Tua would take to decorating himself handsomely to show off his successes. As such, he’s got several piercings ( many of which he did himself ) along his body, as well as bits of gold embedded in his skin, particularly about his shoulders. He also has a few tattoos to commemorate his victories and his comrades, which glow whenever he uses his Vision.

Speaking of, his Geo Vision came to him in a show of his conviction to protect his Treasure Hoarder ‘family’ by all means and any costs. In this case, it had been in protecting them from a squadron of Milileth by the skin of his own teeth then later its aid, having chosen to cover them on his own to ensure they could make off with a particularly rich score. Because of it, he became quite popular among them, with the lot thinking he would lead them to great success and eventually become their leader.

The thought strongly appealed to him, enough that he resolved to make it a reality. As leader, he would have a greater right to a bigger share of the spoils, and he could be independent enough to break away from his father, too. And of course, being able to protect his comrades and look after them with greater responsibility and authority. That was his greatest desire above all else, one he would swear before them during the celebration of his blessing by the Lord of Geo.

Though he did eventually fail to keep his promise to them when a conflict with Fatui, and severely underestimating them, left his group all slaughtered or near death, himself included. With his last lingering traces of full consciousness, he lamented not being strong enough to protect them all, and expected to meet his shameful end along with them.

However his survival had been ensured when Danae had stumbled across the massacre. Though initially focused on eliminating the injured and resting Fatui and with her own hatred of Treasure Hoarders having her near ready to ditch them all as it was, it was due to her having determined his potential usefulness upon noting his Vision that prompted her to nurse him back to health.

Deliberately leaving all the others to their fates, as she didn’t need them.

When Tua would ask later after awakening, she would swear they were all goners by the time she had found him. That Tua had supposedly been the only one strong enough to survive because of his Vision.

Grief would take hold, but he wouldn’t linger on that feeling too much. Not enough for it to consume him, anyways. Not when his savior made him an offer to come with her, a suggestion to carry on in his comrades’ names and honor their memories in continuing to plunder and seek the treasures they'd so craved. Feeling both indebted to her and a thrumming need to protect someone once more now that he was without a family ( he dared not return to his father nor join up with a new Hoarder faction after such a harrowing defeat ), he would choose to follow Danae to Mondstadt.

Along the way and upon reaching their destination, they would take up mercenary work and end up wrapped up in the group they currently associate with now, after participating in an attempt on the young head of the Snake-Eyes gang alongside others like them. Said hit actually having placed by the young head, Ozzy, himself, using it as a ploy for recruitment to test if Danae had been worth Da'Lun's recomendation to his group. Tua likewise making it out alive alongside her and having demonstrated his immense strength and capabilities had been the icing on the cake. He was more than happy to accept the offer to join after that, no need for incentives or anything.

Well, okay, maybe the pay grade and further chances to seek riches while with them was a pretty good incentive. That, and being able to take part in a whole new gang he could protect and grow stronger with. Those who didn’t need to depend wholly on him and could defend themselves should his strength fail them. But he refused to do so again, swearing the very same oath he gave his late comrades before.

He will protect his newfound family, with all he has. Whatever it takes.

Mason Ennosigaeus (17): Sidon’s actual biological child. He was stolen away from his family by Morjena when she had found out of his existence, snatching him during the chaos she'd set off after tricking Eremites into looting the caravan the man's wife had traveled with on her way to the main city. It was a move meant to ensure Danae had no competition to being the man’s heir, especially after the woman and her attendants had been killed in the ensuing struggle. Danae was supposed to kill Mason upon being left with him, as Morjena had thought she’d thoroughly beaten the heart out of her. When it turned out the she hadn’t and even wound up with an attachment to the boy, Mason became an opportunity for Morjena to ensure Danae stuck around.

Mason was frequently abused by Morjena while Danae was gone and quickly came to rely on the latter for everything. Not that it necessarily meant he was entirely helpless. His weak constitution left him helpless as it was, sure, but in truth, Danae never failed to endlessly dote on him every chance she was home to see him, even going as far as to sacrifice her own meals for his sake. She would even forgo sleep to guard him against Morjena as best she could, and when she did, she would deliberately sleep in a way that if the woman pulled anything, she would be the one to take the brunt of her mother’s abrupt assaults. Every little thing he could ever want or need and THEN some was his at his command, and without hesitation. He need only ask. She couldn't offer him comforts like reassurances and gentleness, but this, this she could do for him. And he was wholly all for it, appreciating the one good thing he had amid the horrid life he was stuck in.

Inevitably, her boundless devotion and their environment twisted him up as badly as it had her, albeit in a different way. The one who truly wound up heartless and cruel, through and through, just as Morjena was, had been him.

He may come off as shy and unassuming but in truth, he is twice as vicious and self-serving as Danae, behind the gentle demeanor. He is the one person who can ask of her to do anything at his whim, no matter what it is, no matter how hurt she would end up in the process. And he's used that, time and again to sic her on whoever it was he so chose, be it strangers for his own amusement or even people he's realized she started to get a little too close to, in selfish need to ensure she wouldn't start giving away her loyalties. To test that she truly did mean her loyalties to him, and act accordingly if she hesitated or doubted. He still needed her to survive, after all.

At the same time, he is also the person others could use to strongarm Danae into damn near anything if they hold him captive, as any threats to him lead her to be all to eager to comply for his safety ( though woe betide those who lose him as a bargaining chip at any point during ). He is the One and Only Thing she has left to lose, but the feeling is not mutual. It hasn’t been from the moment she’d left him at the Akademiya on his own.

Even having been left in the lap of luxury when she'd been forced to flee, being torn from her side and the endless doting, from his greatest asset, left him stewing in a resentful rage. His bitterness and broken heart earned him a Cryo Vision amid the enraged outburst within his room, gleaming enticingly within the wreckage of her final gift to him. That Vision, however, he deemed the greatest gift of all, and one he thoroughly believes was the Tsaritsa’s personal wish to him and show of support.

As such, as of earning his Vision, he swiftly abandoned the idea of staying at the Akademiya. Instead, he sought to join the Fatui, using his power as incentive to be kept of use to them alongside the Cicin Mages. Though he was sure to mask what he did, telling Danae he got to travel for his studies so she never suspects. So her constant stream of money and gifts from afar never end, having them brought to him by agents he roped into his whims that happened to be stationed in Sumeru.

In learning she had also once joined the Fatui only to abruptly disappear, he never once believed her dead as many assumed her to be. Knowing her well and the lengths she would go through to survive and how much she loved her freedom, he assumed she truly ran away. Though he keeps this fact to himself. He has full intentions to help hunt her down and make her face her the full consequences for abandoning him. And the Fatui, too, of course. But if possible, he would like to be the one to bring her end himself. To look her right in the eyes as he would use his Vision to make of her a pristine statue for himself to keep.

Maybe then she’ll actually keep her promise to never leave his side.

#hc #v; intertwined fates (genshin verse)#long post for ts #//Ok; lots of notes on this one #For Da'Lun: Ironically; staying w the gang makes the influence of his father’s karmic debt worse; esp the more he kills for em.#Working with Danae yielded the same result; he didn’t realize it then; but when Ozzy made him aware he just #tends to conveniently Ignore that fact; thus he’s become more tempered and sadistic than he was before meeting her.#Absolutely Not making him a ticking timebomb at the rate things are going; No Sir. Luckily; Durene’s there to keep him balanced. Sometimes.#For Oz: If it's not clear; Oz’s Delusion weapon is basically akin to a xenomorph tail kjfnkfjg. Bc YES.#He scarcely uses the Abyssal abilities he has after getting his Delusion. Considers the thing a lil' gift from one of his favorite allies.#Only uses those powers in Emergencies; esp bc he doesn't want to reveal his heritage. Not out of real secrecy or anything.#Bc he wants to wait for the right TIME to drop it on his gang. Like the dramatic bastard he is.#To clarify for Eliza; she really had been baiting Ozzy to get him close to defend herself; not actually resigned to die.#That aside; I like to think her wheelchair post-Vision resembles comes to resemble like #The sealchairs in Witch Hat Atelier. Has one that looks & works like a regular one; then uses the sealchair-like one for missions.#Deffo uses her Vision to move about without help once she gets it; not too frequently bc it does take energy to manifest the vines and such #But being able to do so makes her happy even still. In regards to Durene:#She is their BACKBONE. They would all fall apart or Mcfreakin’ DIE without her around. Is also v fed up with them all & v fond all at once.#When she ascends; she has no idea if she’d rather smite or bless them; when all’s said and done. She'll figure that out then.#For Jade; None of the group know she is trans except for Durene/Danae; both due to accidents. Durene bc Jade accidentally hurt herself and #needed the treatment; Dani due to Jade accidentally admitting it over misunderstanding. Both keep it a secret; which she is v grateful #Aight; Mako time: He’s the youngest yet that makes him no less unhinged than the others; Jade learned that the hard way #Has an unrequited crush on Da'Lun but isn’t fazed about it bc the guy still spoils & indulges his every whim when he gets the chance anyway #He’s usually w them; leaving the family business to be run by two of Oz’s associates. Keeps frequent contact to ensure it doesn’t go under.#Occasionally travels back to deal w things. Like getting tickets to a certain magic show in Fontaine when they all decide to visit.#//Extra Tua notes; he was briefly infatuated with Danae after they began traveling together & she Definitely used that to her advantage.#After getting to know her & the kind of person she truly is; it’s since died down & he even has become more wary of her intentions.#Notably; he is right up there with Eliza & Durene as the group's sweetheart. Even w his avarice; he truly cares & is kind to them.#Mason. Oh boy Mason. He essentially is a Cryo Cicin Mage. Genuinely chose it bc it was easier to move about; being one #Dani wouldn't be Aware of him until around Fontaine. The resulting fallout will Not be pretty. The lad would make Sure of it

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forestmothsystem · 14 days

Text

reasons we are pro endo.

the first, and most important, is that i genuinely do not care what goes on in your head. system developed without trauma? ok. system developed with trauma? ok. system created on purpose? ok. more than one of these? ok. something more complicated? ok. i support you.

other reasons include that anti endo stuff seems to be very intertwined with fakeclaiming. i suppose not all of them do this, as there seems to be more than one way to be anti endo, but one way i see a lot is the very simple statement “endos actually don’t exist and all of them are faking”. of course, there are the other varieties, such as “endos are just traumatised and don’t know it” and “endos are delusional” (genuinely fuck off if you tell anyone that they’re delusional as an insult). probably some others that i’m missing. i also see these same people saying that they’re anti fakeclaiming, or having fakeclaimers in their dni. do they know? did they simply never think about what they are doing?

i don’t like fakeclaiming. i have trauma surrounding similar things to it. if someone fakeclaims me, i can shrug it off (mostly. there are some things that will trigger me.) but if someone fakeclaims someone else, that almost always triggers me. i cannot stand someone being fakeclaimed. there is an intrinsic pain in being told that you are lying, that your pain is not real, that what has been happening to you is just a lie and the product of a child’s overactive imagination, and i hate the idea of that happening to someone else, because *nobody deserves it*. it hurts to see that people hurt other people.

and telling people that they are traumatised will not do anything good. firstly, one is assuming that they haven’t already tried searching for their trauma. what if they have, and can either confirm that they do not have any, or that it is not intertwined with their systemhood? or what if they haven’t, and one’s pushing makes them unearth trauma that they were not ready for? this can cause actual harm. it has real consequences.

and telling people that they are delusional is a shitty move. firstly, having delusions is not something one can throw around to insult people with. it is a genuine condition and if someone is actually delusional, reality checking can cause them harm. and saying that someone is delusional just seems to be a roundabout way of telling someone that they’re faking. i actually do hate people who tell other people that they’re delusional. delusional people do not exist as a way for one to be an arse to other people. they are people who have a condition. delusions are not automatically evil, despite the fact that they have been demonised.

and endos do not exist to harm people, despite the beliefs of some. plurality/systemhood is not an exclusive club that only people with severe trauma can access. even though i could access this hypothetical club, i don’t want to be in it if it automatically excludes people. plenty of endos still have trauma even if it does not intertwine with their systemhood. this is to say nothing of mixed origin systems, who are always excluded from this discussion. if they are not purely born of trauma, then would they be prevented from accessing spaces for trauma survivors who are systems? i do think there should be spaces for trauma survivors, but saying that they need to be endo free is a bit assholish to those who are mixed origin systems.

those are my main reasons, among others.

-rant from a traumagenic system who is so tired of having to read about others being fakeclaimed.

#plural #plural system #pluralgang #endo safe #plurality #pro endo #traumagenic #traumagenic system #tw fakeclaiming #cw fakeclaiming #tw syscourse #cw syscourse #syscourse #tw swearing #cw swearing

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shooting-love-arrows · 5 months

Note

Your aesthetic is just so beautiful dear!! i love how you organize everything, how pretty you write !!

Can i request maybe a yan! mortician? I don't really know the word in english waaa (⁠´⁠;⁠︵⁠;⁠`⁠)

kisses. mwah mwah take care of yourself ok?? 🎐

Dear Anon,

Thank you, dear. It’s really nice of you to say. Your english is very good so no need to worry. Sending you lots of kisses and thank you for the patience. P.S I’m reminding myself to drink water regularly :)

@shooting-love-arrows

𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄! 𝐕𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐀𝐍! 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐍

PAIRING: 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝐕𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐧! 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐧 x reader [gender not mentioned/specified/implied] SYNOPSIS: General headcanons/some concerning habits of his. Tw. yandere walking red flag, creepy yandere, intentional poisoning, delusion, attachment issues (?), nudity but not nsfw.

𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

Who treats you like a corpse rather than a living, breathing, human being. 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝐕𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐧! 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐧 is so used to being surrounded by dead that sometimes he forgets you are in fact alive. It shows during those moments when he starts doing most simple things for you, like dressing you up before you wake up; when you stay still for to long, he’ll carry you around bridal style because he forgets that you can move on your own or forgets to prepare you a portion of food, because corpses don’t eat. Those moments scares you the most, because you’re never sure if he snaps out of it.

“Hm…? Oh dear…” 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝐕𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐧! 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐧 muttered and tilted his head when he realized he’s been carrying you around the funeral parlor for a while. “It seems like I have done that again.” Not that he was complaining. After all, he’s got to hold you in his arms.

Who regularly poisons you. He adds small doses of the earlier crushed pills he originally brought in the pharmacy to your food. Just enough to make you sick, weak and confused. 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝐕𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐧! 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐧 feels his heart squeezing painfully everytime time he sees you in this state but at the same time, he believes that what he's doing is for a good cause. You must stay in the house. It’s not safe in the stress! Not to mention those people who could harm you (or worse, take you away from him!). This just can’t and won’t happen. He’d rather be the one to bring harm to you and nurse you back to health. Your place is here, in your shared house, with him.

“It seems like you are ill again, sweetling. Lay down, you need rest.” 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝐕𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐧! 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐧 proceeds to tuck you in and kiss your sweaty forehead lovingly. “Let me take care of you, sweetling. I will make everything better.” He whispered into your skin decorated with glistening pearls of sweat, smiling softly.

Who always has to carry a piece of you on him. He just can’t part with you. Be it before or after you’re officially his. He has a silver locket with a coil of your hair in it, a ribbon that fell out of your outfit tied around his wrist or a photo of you (especially the one he took of you). Those are few examples but anything that belongs to you he’ll gladly take to carry around. This way you can always be with him.

“What beautiful hair you have, sweetling.” 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝐕𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐧! 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐧 laughed in glee. He was in his funeral parole, staring at the coil of your hair he secretly snipped off when you were asleep. It was placed neatly in a pure silver locker he always carried around his neck. “The prettiest.”

Who has a habit of photographing your nude body. It depends on his mood whether it’ll turn sexual or not, but what doesn’t change is that he’s always in awe of your body. 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝐕𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐧! 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐧 saw many naked bodies, more or less beautiful. But you…you are perfect in every way. He feels like it’s his obligation to document that beauty. So usually, you’ll find yourself lying in the coffin panelled with silk, naked as the day you were born. And so the photo session continues. And when he’s done…? 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝐕𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐧! 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐧 will lean over you, looming like a grim reaper ready to whisk you away into the underworld, and whisper sweet nothings, prizes and compliments to you while his eyes admire every inch of your body.

“Keep still, sweetling.” 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞! 𝐕𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐧! 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐧 adjusted his trusty camera so it’ll focus on you. You kept shivering from the cold that keeps nipping at your skin. Not even the silk you were laying upon helped to ease your worries and shame for you had no choice but to be vulnerable and exposed towards your captor. “Perfect. Close your eyes and stay in this position.”

Who kisses the spot on your chest where your heart beats. It happens first thing in the morning and the last thing at night. When you’re laying in bed, in your nightclothes, he’ll lower the front of yours and gently place a kiss above your heart. He imagines that it’s his way of pouring his undying love straight into your heart. It always sends a pleasurable shiver down his spine.

“I was born to love you…” kiss “I am breathing for you…” kiss “I am living for you…” kiss

All of the published posts on this account/blog belongs to @shooting-love-arrows. I do not consent to my works being: translated, stolen, published or reposted on this and other sites. Likes, reblogs, comments are highly appreaciated. Thank you.

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justsomefluff · 10 months

Text

Ateez as Types of Everyday Fluff

Hongjoong: the type to kiss something off of your lips rather than wipe it away with his hand

Joongieeee

I know that he is one of the members who hates kisses the most

but not with his partner

just thinks kissing the members is cringe

anyway if you two are eating together or maybe having a snack while sitting on the couch

doesn't care if it's in public or not

if you get something on the side of your mouth and dont notice it?

swoops in so fast to kiss it away

and you'll just kind of stare at him dumbfounded because he's not much for PDA

and he'll just smirk and shrug while licking his lips

"you had something there. but i got it for you :)"

Seonghwa: the type to say "but what about me" when you're cuddling a plushie

picture this

you're sitting on the couch waiting for Seonghwa to bring some snacks to the living room for movie night

and you got a squishmallow (lol my real life mixing with my delusions get me outttt)

and you're hugging it and stuff bc soft

and when he comes back he stops and stares at you

one because it's super cute, but two because... where he gon sit?

will literally drop all the snacks on the table and pout at you

if you ask what's wrong he's literally just gonna rip the plushie from your hands and fling it (lmao yk the video of him throwing the bean bag)

but then lowkey feels bad and brings it back to you

will allow the plushie to remain on the couch but it must watch as you snuggle him instead

Yunho: the type to pull you closer in his sleep

YUYU SWEET BOY

whenever you two share a bed he's gotta be touching you

swears he won't fall asleep if you don't snuggle

when he does fall asleep though, I feel like he's the type to roll around and fidget a lot

and if you move away or he moves away?

he might not wake up but he's gonna grope the bed until he finds you

just kind of flopping his hands and arms everywhere until they land where they should

he won't pull you to him though, he'll pull himself to you

and just nuzzles his lil nose in your neck and it tickles because he's snoring and letting out lil baby puffs of air

Yeosang: the type to bully you

bullies you in the cute, cringey way

like will take you to the aquarium and point at the wolf eel and be like omg your twin

or if you walk by a garbage can he's like omg it smells like your morning breath

omg this reminds me of you (hands you literally the ugliest shirt you've ever seen)

curses your own two ears with his insults

but he's also so giggly and cute about it

it's impossible to be mad

and he always makes sure you know he's joking

whether because he's scared he'll hurt your feelings, or because he's scared you'll hurt him

the world may never know

San: the type to give you his plushie to hold

polar opposite of Seonghwa

if you're sitting together playing a video game or watching a movie or just chilling

and he has to get up for some reason

he doesn't like the idea of leaving you by yourself even for one minute so he'll be like

baby i'll be right back hold Shiber

and when he first does this it's kind of like ???? lol ok????

but then you realize that he just wants you to have company

he always wants you to know that he's thinking of you even when you're apart

does that mean i have to think of you going to the bathroom rn

NO DONT THINK ABOUT THAT

WELL YOU SAID TO HOLD SHIBER WHILE YOU PEE

lmao

Mingi: the type to feed you the last bite of his food

you guys are getting to the end of a meal together

and he's noticed you eyeing his food the whole time as if you didn't have your own

he'll be super dramatic about it and be like

OH WOOWWW

IM SOOO FULLLLL

SO FULFILLING

I COULDNT POSSIBLY EAT ONE MORE BITE

and will look at you, and stretch and yawn and rub his tummy

and then offer you his fork

"finish it for me?"

Wooyoung: the type to do nothing with you

i know that sounds weird

but he just enjoys your company

does not care if theres an activity involved or not

just wants to be around you

you two could just lay together and talk

or even lay together and say nothing at all

i know he's our hyperactive boy

but since he runs a million miles a minute he really loves when he can savor the slow, peaceful moments with you

Jongho: the type to drop you off at work

wants to be there for you even when you don't need him

also enjoys the little time he can spend with you, even when you're half asleep in his passenger seat

likes to be the last person you see before you go into work

he likes to think that you'll have a better day that way

like he's some sort of good luck charm (he is)

also sees himself as an acts of service kind of guy

loves to do things for you

little things you'd never complain about, but still appreciate when they're done for you

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wannaeatramyeon · 7 months

Note

it is most definitely jakey hours!! i love that man sm <3 can i request something where jake has a famous s/o?

I am so sorry. This is just crack man.

Jake Kim x Idol!Reader: That's my girlfriend!

F!Reader. Crack.

"That's my girlfriend."

"What, really?!"

"Yep!"

Lua's jaw drops, grains of rice falling from her mouth.

"This one?" She signals with her chopsticks, smearing the food across her laptop screen but she doesn't care. She needs to make sure.

"That one." Jake nods, a proud smile on his face.

"But she's super famous! She's got millions of subscribers." What Lua means to say is, how on earth did you bag her?!

"Yeah..." He agrees, eyes looking dreamy and glazed. "I'm one of them."

"Huh," is all Lua can say. She sees no reason why Jake would lie but... She takes one more look at the screen, and then glances at Jake. With his over slicked hair, the greying shirt, the corny smile, the dwindling bank account, and-

Wow. Talk about punching above your weight.

"Look, Jerry!" Jake thrusts his phone in his No. 2's face. "That's me and Y/N at an awards show last night. Doesn't she look great?"

"Yes, boss." Jerry refrains from sighing. Thinks about how much he respects and loves Jake. How happy you make him.

Jerry can put up with how insufferable he is.

"She's so creative and talented!"

"Yes, boss."

"That's my girlfriend, y'know."

It's a small price to pay, Jerry thinks to himself over and over. It's a new mantra.

"I know, boss."

"That's your girlfriend?"

"Yep!"

Sinu grabs Jake's phone, yanking it closer to inspect the person currently being interviewed at some talk show or another. "Are you sure?"

"Yep!"

Sinu glances at Jake's beaming face, then again at the girl talking and pulls a face. He thought he was the one losing his mind after being drugged and the whole ordeal with Workers for the past year.

Who would have thought Jake Kim would be off his rocker too. Full of delusions about being with some starlet.

Sinu should have a word with Yeonhui and Jerry.

"Sure, Jake!" Sinu plasters on a fake smile and throws his arm around Jake's shoulder, giving him a gentle pat. "I'm really happy for you!"

"Thanks. She makes me really happy." Jake smiles. It's softer and more sincere than Sinu has ever seen.

Sinu hides the frown tugging on his lips. Maybe Jake's sanity has snapped from the pressure of last year.

"Let me just-" Sinu edges away, moving toward the door. The quicker he seeks help for Jake, the better. "...I'll be right back. Don't hurt yourself, ok?"

Jake tilts his head in confusion as Sinu swiftly exits. What's up with him?

#lookism #lookism x reader #lookism webtoon #lookism manhwa #lookism fic #jake kim #jake kim x reader #kim gimyung x reader #kim gimyeong x reader #wannaeatramyeon

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thegnomelord · 7 months

Note

Hi, I want to start off by asking how you are doing, and that I loved the monster task force 141 × reader fic and the cyber-punk sagau headcanon’s.

Ok, now into the ask. Can you do a smut fic with Childe where the reader is a sub top and Childe is a dom bottom where Childe whorships cyber-punk readers body running his hands all over readers joints which are bonded so reader can’t touch him while overstimulating and orgasm denying (is reader able to be overstimulated and have orgasm's... if not then forget about those 2 kinks.

Sorry for the long ask.

Kink list to make it clear:

- Body whorship

- Bondage

- Overstimulation?

- Orgasm denial?

Heck yeah my peep, I'm doing better, and it's great that you liked my other stuff, sorry it took this long, med school is a bitch. Hope ya like it:DD

P.S: ya'll are always free to ask me/give me ideas of what to write, i'm gonna be trying to write more from now on.

Pious Worship

CW: NSFW, body worship, bondage, overstimulation, orgasm denial, mild electro play?, SAGAU au! Cyberpunk reader!, Sub Top reader, Dom Bottom Childe, riding, Dom/Sub dynamics, Worshipper Childe, Bondage. NOT proof read lol.

It had taken you a long while to convince him to do this. For all of his devotion he had been... hesitant; To please you was the highest form of reward anyone could dream of receiving, but what you had asked of him felt wrong — the thought of binding you like the heathens who'd fallen for pretty lies made him physically sick, the thought of chaining you, his guide, his light, his Steel Forged God...he couldn't even come up with the proper words to describe the sickening disgust he'd felt in his very bones.

But you are his light, his guide, his merciful creator, so how could he possibly refuse?

Childe is insatiable.

He rides you with wild abandon like a beast in heat, too caught up in the desperate chase for release and the need to please you to care about the strain in his muscles or his burning thighs. He slams his entire body weight down on your cock, moaning and babbling about how perfectly you stretch him out, how you fill him up so perfectly he can feel you in his throat, how happy he is to be the one who pleases you like this.

His heart flutters as you watch him, drawing pleasure from his pleasure rather than from how tightly his body grips you, your arms tied above your head with the finest silk. The corp remade you for warfare, not pleasure. Steel is unfeeling, it can survive more than living flesh, and with your enhancements you barely feel anything besides the hot tightness of his body.

He drinks up the little rumbles of your synthetic voice box he manages to pull when he takes you fully, driving his body to bounce faster on you, racing towards his second release while you are nowhere near your first. He moans whorishly, his fingers dig into your shoulder joints, cock twitching as sperm and electro shoot from his body.

A strangled sound leaves your lips before your body shuts down without notice, voice box giving a mechanical screech as it glitches, every artificial muscle in your frame contracting from the sudden flood of electricity.

"My Grace! Are you- no, no, no, no- please don't be-”

You hear his worried whimpers when your audio receptors finally come back online, your optics shuttering open yet barely able to see anything with the sea of blinking warning screens in your view. You feel his calloused hands on your cheeks, the usually dull sensation now making you shudder as your combatting systems had turned every synthetic sensor up to 11.

“My Grace, please tell me you’re okay, please, I couldn’t have- I didn’t mean to- I-, I-, I-”

He hiccups, and you manage a glitched warble from your frazzled voice box as you assess your internal diagnostics— his electro delusion had shocked you enough to lock your joints in place without damaging the vital life support systems in your core. You should be able to move again when the electricity wears off, your body geared to survive stronger EMP bombs. You tell him such, reaffirming that he hadn't harmed you.

"Oh, my Grace, I am so sorry, please, forgive me!"

He says, tears prickling his eyes as he rises off your cock, pulling a surprised gasp from you when that small sensation nearly makes you cum on the spot, your cock — your whole body — sensitive to the smallest touch.

And Childe gets...giddy.

Not like a child with a new toy, but like Dottore when an experiment is successful.

Childe hung on every sound leaving you, eyes growing wide; Had you thought of this? Had you prepared just for this to happen? For his electro to make it easier to feel, to make it easier for him to worship you? Yes, that must be it!

“My Grace, you are beautiful like this. Thank you, thank you, thank you-”

His voice was a hoarse whisper as he slunk down your body, carefully holding up your leg with steady calloused hands. His lips are dry as he places reverent kisses the metal surrounding your exposed ankle joint. Your metal parts taste no different than the tips of his arrows, like blood and war, but the soft sounds you make from the odd sensation has him wanting to give more.

He doesn't even notice when he cuts his lip on a sharp edge, but aren't you proud of him? Who else would bleed for you like him? His tongue delves into tight little cracks between your pistons and wires where only the smallest of ripperdock tools had ever come. His tongue isn't as small, nor as precise, but the sheer eagerness in his movement has him touching and pressing on the sensitive sensors all the same.

You jolt, or you would if you could, overcome with sensations your body isn't built to process. More warning screens flash in your sight, static pleasure/pain buzzing along faux synapses. His heart all but leaps from his chest as he listens to the sounds you make.

So he redoubles his effort, clever little tongue licking at sensitive sensor arrays, mouthing and sucking on cables until soft frazzled sounds leave your glitched voice box. He can taste coolant on his tongue, his lips tingling with electricity, blood and spit mixing together in his mouth and making your metal parts glisten in the light. He polishes your ankle joint until it shines, before moving up towards your knee, tracing the edge where metal plates meet faux skin.

You're internal cooling system has started at this point, body shaking as best it can. Your sensors don't know how to interpret the sensations, corp augs having been geared for warfare and not worship, so the processors don't even try to categorize the new sensations into neat boxes. Instead you're hit with the full force of it, the feelings flooding your mind, zapping through every neural cell and artificial link.

He's at your hips now, eagerly sucking you off as his clever fingers busy themselves worming and rubbing delicate hardware and artificial ligaments beneath inside your hip joints. You feel like you're on the edge, your release so close you can feel it burning at the base of your cock.

But something is wrong, like a knot or a rock inside your stomach, something that's keeping you from cumming, forcing you to experience these overwhelming sensations. You sob, barely able to think, and his heart soars at making you feel this way, making you feel this pleasure.

He's quick to finish polishing your cock and even quicker to climb up and sink down again. But that only makes the maddening heat burning in your loins worse, every nerve in your augmented body feeling like it's on fire with no sight of release. You can barely see him through the cracks between different warning screens, sensor arrays screaming at you with information your body can't interpret any other way than pure sensation.

"Please, let me do this your Grace."

You watch — you can do nothing but watch — as he takes one of your limp arms. His muscles bulge beneath his skin as he has to work hard to move your arm now that your motors and pistons are momentarily inactive. He smiles at you, mouth opening wide before he puts your fingers in his mouth. Little jolts of sensation run through your body every time his tongue flicks between different joints, teeth scraping along faux skin and metal plates.

He continues to bounce on your cock, unaware of what blissful Hell he's making for you when he pulls your spit shined fingers from his mouth, urgently but carefully pawing at the plates which cover your hidden weaponry in your forearms.

"Your Grace, I'm a fool to demand this of you, but please, let me see them, let me worship you like you're supposed to be worshiped."

He says, eyes wide and pleading, laying desperate kisses at your wrist joint, lips almost burning from how hot your metal parts are becoming. He needs to worship you, all of you, especially the part you usually keep reserved for the battle field and nowhere else.

Your voice box is back online to the point where you can talk, and you know that if you told him, he would happily continue bouncing on your dick until you were finally able to cum, with all notions of his own need forgotten.

But you don't.

For as much as your systems may be screaming at you. For as much as your cooling systems struggle to keep you from overheating. For as much as you desire to cum... you want to please him — the first character you ever wished for, the first you ever mained, your favorite.

The look on his face when you manage to get your weaponry unlocked melts your heart despite the lustful heat in your chest. Your combat systems are blissfully unaware of your true intentions as they power on the pistons and gears in your weapons, making them extend to their proper configuration.

"Thank you, thank you your Grace!"

He breathes, immediately reaching out to trace the sharp points of your weapons with his tongue before he latches on the first joint that connects your weapon with your arm. It makes sensation, neither pain nor pleasure but pure feeling, rush from your arms right down to your dick still balls deep inside him.

Your vocal box glitches a second time, your head moving just an inch as you're subjected to his torturous worship again, and you can only pray that your body is able to move again before you loose your mind to the pure sensations.

#centerpieces of the hoard #x reader #male reader #top reader #dom genshin x sub reader #sub reader #dom Childe #Dom tartaglia #genshin impact smut #cyberpunk sagau #genshin cult au #top male reader #childe tartagalia #bottom childe #genshin impact x reader #answering asks

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wonjns · 2 years

Text

uncanny i. ∯

🖇️° pairing. . . lee heeseung x male reader

🖇️° genre. . . smut (w plot)

🖇️° summary. . . heeseung may not have been able to move on when his girlfriend dumped him, but he sure finds satisfaction when he takes particular notice of her twin brother.

🖇️° includes. . . bottom!reader, horny bisexual hee !!!, minor size kink, finger sucking, blowjob, dacryphilia, dry humping, orgasm prolonging, unprotected sex ( dont irl !! )

🖇️° WC. . . 6.2k

° AN. . . literally my longest work yet, and quite literally the most random ass plot that came up in a random dream i had in a car ride!??!! except in my dream it was just full fledged cheating & while some fic plots are spicier that way i didn’t wanna romanticize cheating on ur partner bc thats icky LMAO. NOT PROOFREAD!! hopefully i can find time to come back and do so 😭

. . . .% Part 2 ♡ % . . . .

ㅤ

you and your sister were extremely alike in nearly every way possible.

ㅤ

being fraternal twins, you the younger by only mere minutes, the two of you obviously weren’t identical - although most acquaintances and family friends would disagree. everything from your hair, eyes, physique, personalities, and even mannerisms... there was definitely no denying you were two of a kind.

naturally, being so alike allowed you two to kindle a pretty close relationship.

you both got along surprisingly well for a brother and sister, unable to remember the last time that you fought - quite the rare occurrence even for twins. even when you realized you weren’t straight, your sister was the first one to help you during the coming out process to your family, which was something you’d value forever.

your relationship was simply healthy and effortless, and you never hid things from one another. whether it was friends, food, fresh gossip, and sometimes even clothes; you shared everything.

ㅤ

well, almost everything.

ㅤ

the one thing your sister had that you didn’t, was her boyfriend, lee heeseung. and you’d be lying to say you weren’t a tad bit jealous.

heeseung was tall, tan, polite, kind, and had the most luscious, always-perfectly-styled hair. his jawline was sharper than a butchers knife, and his hands were big yet so, so soft. his legs were long and he had a prominent adam’s apple that moved in such a seductive manner when he would laugh or talk. god, he was the most beautiful man you had ever seen.

ㅤ

ok, you were more than a tad bit jealous.

ㅤ

and that jealousy would only sky rocket to unbelievable lengths when you would hear the two of them fooling around in your sisters room, whose was just across the hall from yours. you weren’t exactly eavesdropping since your rooms were so close - you just couldn’t help but listen in as they would make out passionately, hearing a mantra of heeseung’s name being sung in between a sea of moans and giggles.

you fought every urge to touch yourself during those moments out of respect for your sibling, but Lord have mercy how badly did you want to be her in those moments.

feeling her boyfriend’s pillowy lips endlessly explore and tease your body; completely under his control. you would constantly have to snap yourself out of your delusions, putting your earbuds in and blaring the loudest song you could find in your library to drown out the never ending sounds of pleasure in the next room.

despite your raging crush on heeseung, you were over the moon with joy that your sister had someone like him watching over her and even taking care of your family from time to time.

they’d been together for around a year, and he would always bring over snacks and gifts to the house when he would visit. on days that he didn’t bring anything, he would cook dinner or simply take all of you out and pay without a second thought. your parents absolutely adored him. heeseung also always made it a point to be sweet to you, almost making it seem like he was dating you just as much as he was your twin. it wasn’t the best for your weak heart, but he would get you gifts, invite you to tag along on trips with them, help you with your homework, etc... he was beyond dreamy, he was just perfect.

ㅤ

however it seemed your sister started to think differently as time went on.

ㅤ

unaware of your blooming feelings for heeseung, she eventually started whining to you about his annoying tendencies, which in your opinion weren’t even that bothersome. just a few pet peeves here and there, differences in life goals after college, and other things of that nature. but according to your sister, it was mostly his apparent possessiveness that started to turn her off.

possessiveness?

no way. not heeseung.

at least not in the toxic way, right?

perhaps your sister was speaking some truth, or maybe she was just dramatic. either way, you knew you were biased towards heeseung regardless due to your irrational feelings; and the saddest part is that you were so whipped that you were okay with it.

ㅤ

and then it happened - they broke up.

ㅤ

ironically, it seemed to destroy your world more than it did your sister’s.

although it wasn’t an ugly breakup and they ended things on pretty good terms, you felt distraught. way too distraught for someone who wasn’t even a part of the relationship. at one point, you even resulted in begging your sister to get back together with him, playing it off as seeing heeseung as ‘a good older brother figure’.

truthfully, you just felt sick at the thought of not seeing him anymore. an entire year’s worth of the beautiful boy who graced your family with his presence would suddenly just disappear.

or so... that’s how a regular break up would work.

you started to grow a little confused when heeseung didn’t stop coming around.

it was sort of as if the breakup hadn’t even happened. you definitely saw him less, but there were still many days you would catch him freely roaming around your house and hanging out with your sister.

she claimed that they were still close, as they decided it would be best for them to just go back to being good friends. the rest of your family still held heeseung sized pockets in their hearts, so everyone was more than okay with him still being present in daily life.

you had no idea how they managed to return to normalcy after a year of not dating, but it really was like he remained big part of the family.

in reality, you were starting to see some of the possessiveness you were told about through his odd persistence. heeseung was obviously more in love with your sister than she was with him, and although it was a sad fact, he refused to move on. he had gotten used to this life, and wasn’t planning on switching things up anytime soon. he couldn’t let her go, and you could tell from the way he would still sneak adoring glances her way when she wasn’t looking. the metaphorical hearts never left his big, gorgeous brown pupils.

ㅤ

it’s crazy how even after their separation, you still found yourself jealous.

ㅤ

for so long you’ve wished that those glances would be sent your way. in the midst of wanting all of the older male’s fondness to yourself so badly, you started to imagine that your very own being was his object of admiration.

but it seems you were much better at imagining than you thought, because then it started.... actually happening?

you thought you were seeing things, but one night when heeseung and a few of your other friends were all over for dinner, you looked up from your plate to attempt sneaking yet another look at heeseung. you were obsessed with how his strong adams apple bobbed up and down while he drank - yet your attempt to discreetly cop a stare ended in you immediately locking eyes with him. you darted your gaze elsewhere in order to play it off, but you saw from your peripherals that he maintained his stare on you.

you lightly coughed, praying that your blush of embarrassment from getting caught wasn’t too obvious... although you were sure he had been looking at you first. when you built up enough bravery to look in his direction again, you were met with the view of him eating his noodles as if nothing happened at all. you were puzzled, but convinced yourself that you were making something out of nothing.

you were wrong - it was very much something.

over the next few weeks you would constantly catch heeseung’s heavy stare on you, and he even started looking smug the more your glances would catch each other’s. he’d consistently offer you the same god-forsaken smirk whenever you’d fail to disguise your flustered state each time.

one afternoon, you were in your room sitting criss-crossed on your bed, typing away an assignment on your laptop. as usual, your door was open, and you suddenly felt a presence step up to the doorway. when you looked up, your stomach tightened at the sight.

heeseung and your sister were also gym buddies, and had just gotten home from another one of their workouts. they were heading to relax in the living room, but during the small journey heeseung stopped at your door in all of his sweaty, toned glory.

his wet hair stuck to his forehead and his glistening biceps were exposed thanks to his tank top. you were drinking in his whole body, from his muscular calves to his chest peeking through the tight fit shirt. it felt like manual labor to drag your eyes back up from his grey basketball shorts, where his naturally large bulge practically sat in full display. he just stood there, staring you down with yet another smile while your mouth was damn near watering.

“w-what? do i have something on my face?” you finally said aloud in a joking tone.

“nah.” was all he said before chuckling lightly and walking off.

you were weirded out, but couldn’t take your eyes off the muscular back that his sweaty shirt clung to.

⊱────────────────────────⊰

these strange encounters had somehow become part of the daily routine, and it was driving you crazy. you never understood why or how heeseung managed to leave you a hot and bothered blushing mess with such minimal effort.

now, a couple days after the awkward post-gym moment, you were perched up on your kitchen counter. your parents had left to go on a business trip that they claimed would last a couple days, and they asked heeseung to play babysitter. although you and your sister were capable young adults, you did both have admittedly clumsy tendencies - nearly burning the house down on several occasions due to being home alone together.

after lounging around all day in nothing but a huge hoodie and your boxers, you realized it was getting dark and you hadn’t had any food at all. your sister would’ve taken initiative to cook something before she left for her night classes, but she seemed really stress about an exam she had that evening. even more inconveniently, you didn’t have the slightest clue where heeseung was in the house - what an amazing babysitter he was. you decided to take matters into your own hands and make yourself the only thing you knew how,,, waffles.

you had managed to whip up a pretty good batch, but discovered that someone had finished off the last bottle of syrup. so, you were forced to climb up the counters in order to reach the new bottle that your genius father had to keep at the tippity-top of your cabinets.

just as your hand was about to grab the bottle, you heard chuckling erupt from behind you. you whipped your head around, seeing heeseung for the first time all day.

he was standing at the other side of the counter with an amused smile on his face. it looked like he was lounging around for most of the day too, his hair slightly disheveled (but somehow still perfect). the tight fit sweater he wore was also tad wrinkled, but hugged his broad chest all too well.

“well look at you, little lemur. you really do remind me of your sister, you know? she does that same climbing shit.” the older male chuckled at your position. “one of you are gonna get hurt one day.”

“well i wouldn’t really have to worry about that if my caretaker would do what he was here for. i’m starving.” you huffed, sitting your butt on the counter and crossing your arms playfully.

heeseung calmed his laughing fit and prodded his tongue on the inside of his cheek when he noticed your short boxers peaking from underneath your hoodie. he was silent as he walked up to you, his confident sauntering causing a wave of nervousness to rise in your bones.

when he finally came face to face with you, he reached a hand up to the cabinet above your head. he didn’t drop his intense eye contact with you or the smirk plastered on his painfully handsome face. he easily grabbed the syrup bottle, lowering it to pop the cap off and place it in your hands.

“you could’ve just asked me for help. it must be a twin thing to be stubborn.” he spoke almost in a whisper, not backing away from you despite finishing his task.

you slowly took the bottle from him, and placed a hand on his chest to push him away out of fear that he’d see your reddening face. but your efforts were futile as heeseung didn’t budge an inch, his pearly whites only revealing themselves more as he grinned. you scoffed a little bit and tried to push again with more force this time, but your smile instantly dropped when he enveloped your hand in both of his, forcing you to maintain your touch on him.

“and now you wanna fight? so you’re both spunky, too.” he quipped, but this time the tone in his voice almost mimicked a sense of wonder as he studied your face.

“....you’re dumb. anyways,, thanks for the syrup...” you try to dismiss, attempting to hop off the counter.

you barely get to move an inch, though, before heeseung released your hand and grabbed both sides of your waist, pushing you farther back on the granite countertop. the sudden movement caused you to jolt, squeezing the opened syrup bottle in shock. you whined seeing the sticky sweetness oozing around your hand. your eyes shot back up to your sister’s ex, your eyebrows furrowed in more confusion than annoyance.

“tsk, tsk, tsk, your parents were right, you really are a clumsy boy... so messy.” he commented, gently but firmly grabbing the wrist of your syrup covered hand.

your body felt a warmness surging through it from his touch alone, but you tried to keep your cool as his eyes intensely examined you. however, nothing could have prepared you for the unstoppable heat that surged through you when he sucked a couple of your fingers into his mouth.

you gasped, sitting there in utter shock. you felt paralyzed and speechless, unable to look away as heeseung’s mouth cleaned your digits of the sugary substance one by one. the feeling of his tongue swirling and prodding against the pads of your fingers was enough to make your cock twitch in your underwear.

your lips were parted in a silent breath as you tried to process what exactly was happening. just before you could snap back to reality and call his name in disbelief, he hummed around your fingers before releasing them from his warm mouth.

“i see the way you look at me,” heeseung murmured in a low octave, drawing closer to your face. “it’s how she did when she still loved me.”

you felt a lump in your throat, knowing he was referring to your sister. you could only offer breathless babbles while your mind began hazing over from your close proximity. you could already smell his addicting cologne invading your atmosphere.

“wha....what? hyung... i don’t know what you’re talking about but-“

“those eyes. those beautiful fucking eyes... they’re the same. i just wanted to make sure.” he continued.

you still felt immobilized as he softly nudged your nose with his, butterflies erupting in your stomach. he brought one of his large hands up to cup your jaw. his thumb lightly rubbed back and forth on your cheek, and you had to fight the urge to let your eyes droop closed and lean into his touch.

“your skin,, just as soft as hers... no, softer.”

you could only sit there nervously while he stared you down in a drawn out silence that had you squirming under his attention. he was making all these insane comparisons between you and your twin, but you were too enthralled that his attention was finally on you to care. this felt like one of your dreams- but you knew for sure this wasn’t a dream state when you felt your cock harden at the sight of heeseung’s eyes rolling back to the sound of you whimpering.

“you even sound the same... prettier... oh god, you really are just like your sister.” heeseung all but moaned, not wasting another second before smashing your lips together.

you couldn’t believe the feeling that overcame you.

you groaned into his mouth from the unexpected turn of events, causing him to kiss into you harder. the force of the kiss caused your head to bump into the cabinet, eliciting another whimper from you. this was something you’d been fantasizing over for a year, and the only thing that kept you from passing out in that moment was your need for him, not wanting to miss a second of it.

his plush lips worked into yours with an intensity that made you tighten your thighs around his waist, an action that only solidified his bulge. he hummed into your cavern, his grip on your face tightening as he licked his way into your mouth. the sensation of tasting the syrup he cleaned with his eager tongue was almost too much to bear, causing your hands to land on his wide shoulders.

heeseung couldn’t seem to stop releasing sounds at every little action you took. the way your body reacted to him perfectly mirrored how your sister’s did in the past, and it was turning him into a mad man. he was getting aroused, and fast. you tried to break away from the kiss for air, but he swiftly grabbed behind your head and forced your lips back together in a millisecond, drawing another long whine from you.

he groaned at how you clung even tighter to his shoulders, his tongue deliciously exploring your mouth and memorizing its grooves. you’re pink muscles ran over each other as he licked stripes along your teeth, your thighs involuntary pulling heeseung closer to you.

you felt heeseung begin suckling on your tongue when he felt your erection press up against his torso. his mouth happily swallowed your deep moans from the pleasure his abs provided your member even through the layers of fabric. his hands lied steadfast on your hips and encouraged you to grind against him - you complying a little too quickly, chasing that pleasure by messily bucking your hips forwards.

heeseung probably felt you going lightheaded, since he finally allowed you to break the kiss when you felt like your insides were burning.

you panted heavily, dropping your head low as you refilled your exhausted lungs. heeseung’s hands quietly moved underneath your large hoodie, running over the soft expanse of your bare torso. he massaged your waist and lower back as he studied you with hooded eyes, becoming even more horny at the sight of you recovering from your attempts to keep up with him.

you looked back up at him with an expression of disbelief mixed with pleading for more, your glistening and swollen lips looking even more kissable than before. you still couldn’t process everything that was happening, but your body was aching for him too much to think.

“h-hyung,” you stutter repeatedly as your eyes fell shut, only being able to focus on his relentless hands caressing you.

they felt like large clouds gliding across you, soothing your hot skin. his continued touch felt comforting, but also teasing. it was like he was drawing you in, daring you to want more. your eyes were glossed over, mind running ramped with all of the things you wanted from him in that moment now that you were sure this was all real.

“yes, y/n?” he spoke with an innocent tone as he looked down on you.

you couldn’t find the words. you opted to only grind into him more with a desperate hope he would get the message. his hands may have been gentle on your body, but they were only working you up more.

the tall male chuckled before dipping down to peck your lips a couple more times and grip two handfuls of your ass. you moaned at the sudden strength, moving as he urged you against his covered core. your mouth fell open at the friction of your stone hard bulges running along each other and his solid chest pressing tightly against your own. you immediately wished all the layers of clothes weren’t in the way.

“hee, please.... please” you moaned mindlessly as you continued chasing the sensation.

“please what, baby?” he cooed, watching you cling and rub against him like a needy puppy.

he almost lost his mind out of his own rising need, but he wanted to be fully present and in control of this moment. he wanted to catch every second of his ex’s twin brother fulfill the desire he still craved so badly.

before you could answer him, his hands continued to snake up underneath your hoodie and grip the nape of your neck, holding you still as he recaptured your whiny mouth. he was drunk on the way your smaller figure fit perfectly in his hands. the sound your pairs of lips made together during their tango was intoxicating. you swore you were floating among all the stimulation you felt. it was no wonder your sister couldn’t control herself whenever he was around - this man was addicting.

you actually did start to feel a bit of guilt once your mind shifted to your sister and what she would think if she saw the two of you like this. but it definitely wasn’t cheating, right? she broke up with him. although it technically wasn’t wrong, and certainly did feel all too right, your conscious felt heavy.

however, your body once again betrayed your mind’s attempt at rationalizing; you were just too lost in heeseung’s touch.

the deal was sealed when the tall brunette started nipping at your bottom lip during your make out, forcing every other thought that didn’t have to do with his lips fleeing your head at super sonic speeds. there was no where in the world you wanted to be more than in between his teeth.

heeseung traveled to start sucking and licking on the sensitive skin of your neck, the building desire inside of you finally giving you the strength to form a proper sentence.

“more, more, please heeseung.... ‘need you...”

heeseung smirked into the crook under your jaw, having heard what he wanted. he littered the column of your throat in a few more kisses while grinding his hard-on teasingly against your hip bone, causing your hands to tangle in his perfect locks. before fully standing up again, he scooted you backwards until your head rested against the top cabinet once more. heeseung was so content with himself so far, admiring how good you looked with your already fucked out expression from just a bit of his foreplay.

he slowly reached forward, lifting up the oversized hem of your hoodie and pulling on the bands of your boxers. you both looked down to witness the small wet patch of precum that had left a stain.

“such a needy boy... you’re my needy boy now, aren’t you?” he asked while grinning almost sinisterly at you.

you only whimpered and nodded, doing anything to earn relief for your now throbbing length. heeseung’s golden boy demeanor had changed in just a few short minutes, and you couldn’t fathom how hot it was.

he then shimmied your boxers down until they hung loosely around your dangling ankles. he then sunk to his knees, eye level with your exposed member. you squirmed again under his intense gaze, feeling vulnerable. he looked up at you with those bambi eyes, giving you a reassuring smile as if he could read your mind, and started kissing up the inside of your thighs.

“don’t be nervous, little one. you look so fucking good.” he mumbled between kisses, sucking the thin skin of your thighs between his teeth the higher he got.

you labored your heavy breathing, silently pleading for him to just touch you already, but he seemed so content covering every area except where you needed him most. each of his kisses were sending static through your sensitive skin, and the sight alone of him leaving marks on you was enough to make you moan while continuing to rub your hands through his hair. but you still needed more.

heeseung then teased the underside of your shaft with short licks, causing you to babble gibberish pleas out loud. but no matter how hard you pathetically tugged on his hair, he was determined to go at his own pace. his kitten licks felt like they lasted an eternity while he massaged both of your bare thighs. but once he was content with your whines he finally gave you one strong lap from your sensitive testicles to the head of your cock, taking all of it in his mouth with ease.

your eyes screwed shut when you felt his skillful tongue massage your length while he sucked slowly and passionately. you physically couldn’t stop his name from flowing out of your mouth upon feeling all the pleasure.

heeseung only worked you for a minute before he released a deep moan from how your fingers kneaded his scalp. the vibration caused you to twitch, and heeseung had somehow managed to read your mind again - and he wasn’t going to let this moment end so soon.

he released your cock from his plump lips, much to your disdain.

“hyung, please. please. i was so close, i was so so close.” you pant, pulling at his forearms when he returned to his feet.

the older male couldn’t stop himself from smiling sweetly at your shameless begs, his own neglected cock tight in his shorts.

“i know, angel, i know. but my pretty boy didn’t want to finish in my mouth so soon, right?” he cooed while stroking your marked thighs.

but you did, you really did. you wanted to feel his warm cavern around your begging cock forever. his baby talk also didn’t help your growing frustration of having the man of your dreams tamper with your sensitive state.

your hands wrapped around his neck to pull him into another kiss, but he jerked his head backwards before your lips could touch. he loved watching your furrowed brows of frustration - it reminded him so much of your sister it was insane, but he was starting to think about how much cuter it looked on you.

you tugged on him again like a toddler with their mother at a toy store.

“hee, look, I just-”

and then you both heard it, the front door opening.

your sister was home from class. you felt your face go pale, and heeseung felt all his blood rush south. if his erection wasn’t already as hard as humanely possible before, it definitely was now. his widening grin only scared you more, and you almost shrieked when he effortlessly scooped your bare bottom off the counter, hauling you to your bedroom.

you clung to him tightly, too petrified to even utter a questioning peep to him as you heard your sister’s keys jingle while making her way through the house.

once you reached your room, he slammed you against your door.

“oh my god, what are you do-”

and suddenly you’re down three unfinished sentences, heeseung’s pillowy lips molding with yours. this kiss wasn’t quite like the others, as its passion caused your air suspended toes to curl. you could feel your eyes cross and your legs squeeze around his waist as he kissed your breath away, one of his hands reaching up to hold your neck in firmly place. he ground his hips into yours, a mewl threatening to escape.

you didn’t dare let out a sound, though, especially after hearing your older sister’s footsteps quickly approach your door. she rapidly knocked on the wood that your back was pressed firmly against, you being able to feel the worry through the vibrations.

“y/n?! are you alright? what was that banging I just heard?” she called in a panicked tone.

heeseung released your lips, gawking at your attempt to come back to your senses. his hooded gaze on you was intense, and you knew he was ordering you to answer her. your blood rushed through your veins in adrenaline, and you were so aroused you weren’t sure if you could even speak. but you had to.

“y-yeah!” you stuttered, pacing your breathing. “i’m good, just tripped trying to rearrange in here.”

you pray she can’t hear your panting from the other side as it increases with nervousness, and with the way heeseung was smirking at you. he tightens his grip on you as he leans in and licks a slow trail from your collarbone to your earlobe, causing your jaw to hang open and press your hips forward.

“oh, ok?” she replies skeptically. it then goes silent.

you and heeseung scan each others eyes, and you wanted to beg him to stop, but you couldn’t bring yourself to. you didn’t know how much longer you could last, but the whole situation had the fire in your stomach only growing hotter.

heeseung took the initiative and enveloped your mouth once again, grinding into your bare hips torturously slow in order to not rattle the door. it took so much strength to stay quiet that you swore you were losing your sanity. you started to care less and less about getting caught as heeseung sucked on your bottom lip before his tongue started tracing shapes into the roof of your mouth. you almost allowed a groan to escape your throat before you heard your sister speak up from outside again.

“wait?? where’s heeseung at? i saw his car in the driveway.”

you panicked, your heart sinking to your gut. you looked at heeseung questioningly, pleading for an excuse. he simply rose his eyebrows at you with no solution, diving back in to nibble at your earlobe. you couldn’t believe he was leaving you to deal with this.

“uh-... i don’t know?” you called back, rummaging your brain for details. “i think he walked over to the neighbors to ask if we could borrow... um,, syrup.”

heeseung smirked into your skin, nearly chuckling aloud. he adjusted his hold on you and in seconds you were zipping through the air again, being hauled back-first onto your bed.

“the neighbors??” she replied, sounding in disbelief. “but these waffles out here look fine... can I have some if you’re not gonna eat them?”

“sure, go ahead.” you mumbled as heeseung triumphantly nipped at your collarbone, your breathless tone almost giving you away.

you relaxed as you heard her finally shuffle away from your door. you released a deep sigh and your hands frantically helped strip heeseung of his shirt. your breath hitched at the sight of his perfect body - all of his time at the gym were clearly paying off. your hands immediately ran over his warm abs and solid chest, nearly drooling at the smoothness under your touch.

this only made heeseung smirk with pride. after letting you have your fun, he caught your hand and started littering kisses from your wrist, up your forearm, and past your biceps. you felt his tongue drag across your limb ever so lightly, and it made your head spin.

heeseung, hovering over you, had just started sucking harshly on the crook of your neck before your sister’s shrieking voice rung again, causing you both to jump.

“AND Y/N!!!!! how many times do i have to tell you to STOP leaving your underwear laying around the house?!!”

you gasped, forgetting how you were stripped and whisked away before being able to clean up anything.

you offered a weak apology, trying your best not to mewl as heeseung licked slowly over the red marks forming on your body.

“oh baby, if only she knew you won’t be needing those any time soon.” heeseung whispered devilishly in your ear, causing heat to rise to both your face and manhood.

after waiting for the coast to finally be clear, heeseung made sure both of your clothes were removed, except your hoodie, which he simply bunched up around your chest. you didn’t know it, but it was exactly how your twin looked when he claimed her for the first time - and seeing the same thing done to you made his member twitch uncontrollably.

heeseung could’ve prepped you, but the both of you were so desperate after all of the build up he knew neither of you could handle it anymore. now, he just wanted to make an utter mess of you.

he grabbed a gentle hold of your member, stroking as he aligned his hard-on to your bottom.

“is my baby boy, ready?” he questioned, in which you could only eagerly nod.

he began pushing himself into you, and the stretch had proven to you that he was so much larger than you even expected. you bit on to your knuckles to prevent from crying out, knowing that your sister would 100% hear you from the kitchen.

heeseung watched you contently as he continued to push into you, absolutely reveling in your contorted face. while you were fully focused on taking him, he could see you holding back tears and cries, and he didn’t like it. he needed to hear the same angelic noises that he had pulled out of you earlier, he was high on them.

he bottomed out in you, and froze, allowing you to adjust. your arms wrapped around him and pressed your bodies together as if your life depended on it. when you signaled for him to move, he remained still, drawing another soft “please” from you.

instead, he craned his neck down slightly and bunched your hoodie up higher, pressing his tongue flat on one of your nipples.

you let out a gasp, much too loud, at the electricity you felt. once heeseung started sucking your hardened bud, you swore you could climax from that alone. you pathetically bucked your hips, tears starting to brim at your eyes as heeseung switched back and forth between your extremely sensative buds. he lapped at your nipples like they were candy, and you were absolutely begging for him to start thrusting into you. you wanted to feel all of him so bad, and swore you were going to evaporate if you didn’t come soon.

heeseung looked up at your tear strained face, and felt like he was in heaven.

“ah, there’s my weeping angel.” he cooed, dragging his tongue up your cheeks to catch your salty tears.

he groaned, kissing you on your nose gently before he finally gave you what you wanted. with a strong roll of his pelvis, you felt a wave of pleasure and pain take over you. you were sent into the stars as heeseung progressively picked up speed, and you could feel your legs quaking. the taller male pressed his body harder into you, cradling your head in both of his hands while his thrusts continued. he was obsessed with how your adorable face looked amidst the overwhelming pleasure, and he swore you were the most precious thing he’d ever seen.

the way your walls clenched around his large cock made him moan, also too loudly, but you two were much too far gone in each other to care.

“you’re doing so good for me, prince. oh my god, you’re so pretty.”

you chocked back sobs, running your hands up and down his defined back.

“s-so, big,” was all you could mutter, yet still it made heeseung’s heart burst with even more confidence.

he saw your attempt to keep speaking, and gently hushed you with kisses to your lips. he savored the taste of you, your entire essence running wild through his senses. you two lived in the euphoric moment for a short while longer, before you moaned at the overwhelming feeling of your cock brushing against heeseung’s abs.

“i’m-.. heeseung, i’m gonna...” you gasped just above a whisper, your hold on him tightening.

“let it go, baby. come for me,, right now.” he spoke, trapping your lips completely in his.

you moaned into each other’s mouths, you spilling your love liquids along his torso while he emptied into you. he ran his fingers along your hair, massaging into your scalp while you both rode you highs.

after finishing, heeseung collapsed next to you, keeping a hand attentively behind your neck. you lied there for a minute, completely on cloud 9, before you looked over to see heeseung watching you with a fond smile. his bare chest, slightly covered in your arousal, rose and fell theatrically with his breaths - and if you weren’t so spent, the sight would’ve worked you up all over again.

you rolled over to your side and held your arms out to him, and he didn’t miss a beat to pull you in closer to his embrace. you sat there and exchanged affectionate stares through your mutually beautiful eyes, and you couldn’t help but giggle.

“hyung, i’ve wanted this for a really long time.” you murmur timidly, softly stroking his bicep with your smaller hands.

heeseung’s signature grin grew on his face once more.

“i had no idea how bad i wanted it... but now that i have you, don’t expect me to ever let go.”

#heeseung x male reader #enhypen x male reader #enhypen male reader #enhypen smut #heeseung smut #enhypen hard hours #enhypen x male!reader #kpop x male reader #kpop x male!reader #kpop male reader #kpop x reader #kpop smut #male reader smut #heeseung #kpop lgbt #kpop imagines

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jennay · 5 months

Text

Honey Bee

Jolly Master List

PART ONE/PART TWO/

You feel your throat tighten, a knot forming as you hold your phone to your ear. You feel your chest constrict, your breaths becoming shallow and ragged. You feel your eyes well up, your vision blurring. You feel your mind racing, your thoughts spinning out of control. The amount of anxiety you felt today was enough to make you leave.

Noah will know how to help you and make you feel better. He gives you honest and practical advice without judging or blaming you. He'll support you, tell you you're not alone, and always be there for you.

You hate that you feel this way, out of place. What a change from yesterday when you fully felt you were where you were supposed to be. You hoped for a different outcome, but now you knew how Jolly felt and were thankful for it, but you also felt shattered. Why couldn't life be kind for just once and let you have what you wanted?

You hear Noah's voice on the other end, but it's not the friendly greeting you hoped for. "It's only been three days, Y/n. Why are you calling me? Shouldn't you be focusing on lover boy?" He jokes. "You must be calling to thank me, right?"

You sigh and roll your eyes at his sarcasm. "Noah, please, this is serious. I need your help."

He laughs and says, "Oh, I see. You want to come back home to me, right, cause you feel bad for leaving me for so long? Well, too bad, honey. I'm taken."

You groan, "Stop it. I know you're not dating anyone, and when I come home, it won't be to YOU because we were never together, dumbass." You giggle, "You've hit full delusion without me there, huh?"

"I mean, I've had a lot of time to myself, and I've spent a lot of it in my room talking to George." He chuckles, "Anyway, what can I do for you, buttercup?"

As you walk through the tiny backyard, you admire the vibrant flowers and herbs that Jolly has grown in his garden. He's away at his mom's place, but you still feel nervous when you speak out loud. It's like you are afraid once the words come out, they will be true, and once you admit it to Noah, there is no turning back.

"I need to come home." You say, biting your lip. "I can't be here another day." You feel yourself choke over your words.

You hear him close the door on his side, and the phone crackles as he moves it closer to his mouth. "What do you mean?" He asks, sounding more concerned now. He clears his throat and lowers his voice, "Did something happen?"

"I can't talk about it at the moment. I already feel like I'm going to puke." You say, sniffing back your tears.

You can tell that Noah is getting anxious. "Did he hurt you?" He asks, his voice hard and furious. "Cause I'll come there, and I'll sort that shit out immediately."

You shake your head, even though he can't see you through the phone. "No, he didn't hurt me. Not physically, anyway." You pause, wondering how to ask him for a favor. You hate to impose on him, but you have no other option. You need to get away from this place as soon as possible. "I was just wondering if maybe you could help me out with the ticket." You whisper, hoping he won't get angry. You know you can't afford a last-minute flight back home.

Noah sighs, "Yeah, I'll see what I can find for today." The line goes silent for a moment, and when Noah speaks again, he's more gentle and kind, "I don't know what happened, but I want you to know it's going to be OK." He sounds sincere and caring, and you feel a sense of gratitude.

You feel your eyes water, but you quickly wipe them away. You don't want to cry in front of him, even if he can't see you. You want to be strong and brave like he always says you are. "I'll talk to you later." You say, trying to sound cheerful. You hang up the phone and take a deep breath. You hope he can find a ticket for you. You could really use a Noah hug about now.

Jolly sank into the recliner, facing his mom on the couch. He couldn't look at her; he felt too embarrassed and conflicted. He kept replaying the events of last night in his head, wondering if you hated him. He knew you were hurt; you barely said a word to him for the rest of the night. He saw you lying on the couch, pretending to be asleep, but he could see your eyes flickering and your body tensing.

He wanted to tell you how much he wished things were different. He wanted to kiss you and make you feel loved and be your hero and protector, but he thought he had no right to do that. He felt like he was trespassing on something that belonged to Noah.

He thought he should back off and let you sort things out with your best friend. He couldn't shake the feeling that you had hidden feelings for Noah, even though you denied it.

You and Noah seemed perfect for each other. You had known each other for so long, had your own jokes and secrets, and shared many interests. You spent a lot of time together, and Jolly knew when you did stay the night at their place, you were always in Noah's room. He couldn't help but imagine what you did behind closed doors.

"Joakim," His mother says, breaking the silence. "Is this about that girl?" She asks, noticing his gloomy mood.

He doesn't look up, afraid of what he'll see in his mother's eyes. He knows she's worried about him, but he doesn't want to disappoint her. He continues staring at the floor and nods slightly, "I should have listened to her and kissed her. I think I ruined everything." He leans forward, resting his face in his hands, and sighs.

"Tell me what happened." She urges, moving closer to him on the couch. He sits up and crosses one leg over the other, finally meeting his mother's matching irises. "I messed it up." He groans. "We had this fun day, and at the end of the night, she leaned in for a kiss, and I turned her down."

She nods, listening, "Why, I thought you liked this one?"

He shrugs. "I do. I have, for a long time."

"What is the problem? Did you forget to tell me she was married or unavailable?" She asks, growing concerned that her son has fallen into a trap.

Jolly shakes his head, "I think she has feelings for Noah, and Noah has feelings for her, but they won't admit it." He tells her, feeling the pain crushing him all over again.

"Joakim Oskar Patrik Karlsson, I love you, but you're not very bright sometimes." She laughs, "She came all this way to see you. She wanted you to kiss her. Isn't that enough evidence?"

Jolly's eyes widen, "But Noah-"

"What about Noah? She said she doesn't have feelings for Noah. You need to believe her, and if this is what you want, why aren't you going after it?" She sighs, growing slightly frustrated, "Men." She mutters. "I raised you better than this." She stands up, walks to the front door, and opens it. "Get out."

Jolly looks at his mother with confusion, "What?" He stands up, "You're kicking me out?"

"Go talk to her. Tell her everything because if you don't, she will move on, and there will be others, and you will regret this forever." She was right; he needed to tell you before it was too late.

He kisses his mom on the cheek as he exits the cozy house. He feels nervousness and excitement; he'll do it. He needed to tell you everything: how he thought about you, dreamed of you, and wanted to be with you. He rehearses what he will say but knows words are not enough. He needs to show you how he feels.

Jolly clenches the steering wheel as he drives to his house, his heart pounding in his chest. He dials Noah's number, hoping to hear his voice and clear the air. He doesn't want to lose his best friend over this. He wants to explain himself, to apologize, to make things right. But when he calls, the phone rings once and goes straight to voicemail. He hangs up and tries again but gets the same result.

Anxiety washes over him. He wonders why Noah is ignoring him, and then a horrible thought crosses his mind. You must've called Noah first.

"Fuck." He curses under his breath.

This was going to be the worst drive home ever.

He pulls into his driveway and parks the car, but he doesn't get out right away. His chest tightens when he thinks about facing you. He doesn't know what to say to you, but he hopes his feelings will show through. Jolly finally gets out of the car and walks up the driveway. He takes a deep breath and reaches for the door handle, calling out your name as he opens the door. But he stops when he sees you walking toward him with your bags packed. He feels a jolt of shock and pain as he looks at you, his eyes wide and incredulous. He can't move, he can't speak, and he can't breathe. He stares at you as you approach him, dragging your luggage behind you.

The sound of your bag hitting the ground jolts him out of his trance. "What's going on? Where are you going?" He asks, his voice cracking with emotion. He tries to catch your eye, but you avoid his gaze.

You avert your eyes from him and clamp your mouth shut, suppressing the sob that wants to break free. You wish you had left before he came back.

"Something came up at work, and I need to go home." You lie, hoping he won't hear the quiver in your voice. He knows you too well; he knows you're lying.

"Oh," he says softly, knowing at this moment there was nothing he could do to make you stay. "Let me at least take you to the airport…"

You shake your head and adjust your backpack on your shoulder. You pull out your phone and glance at the screen, "My cab's here." You say, feeling guilt in your chest. You see the pain in his face, and it breaks your heart.

"You were going to leave without saying goodbye?" He asks, his voice barely audible.

You bite your lip and look around the room, trying to find something else to focus on—anything but him: anything but the memories you've made here. "I'm sorry, Jolly. I have to go." You say, walking past him.

He grabs your arm and hugs you tightly, holding you close.

He wants to tell you how he feels. He wants to beg you to stay. He wants to kiss you and make you forget everything else. But he can't. He loves you too much to be selfish and force you to stay. He has to let you go and hope that the two of you will reunite and things will be different.

"Be safe, Honey Bee." He whispers in your ear, then gently pulls back, looking into your eyes. He sees the tears that are about to fall. He wipes them away with his thumb. He tries to smile, but it doesn't reach his eyes.

You nod your head and pick up your bags, "OK." You whisper, leaving him in the doorway as you drag your bags to the cab. You look back at him one last time and see him standing there, watching you go. You feel a surge of emotion and want to run back to him, but you know you can't. You get in the cab and close the door, feeling the finality of your decision. You drive away, leaving him behind.

He lets out a soft sigh, feeling disappointed and empty. He enters his room and sits on the bed, his heart heavy with regret. He kicks off his shoes, hoping a nap will help him forget the pain. But as he looks around the room, his eyes fall on the bedside table, and he sees it: the ring he bought you, a black band with your favorite stone in the center, sitting there, mocking him. He grabs it, holds it in his hand, and tilts it back and forth, remembering how happy you were to receive it, the smile on your face, the joy in your eyes, and your sweet smile. He feels the cold metal against his skin and wonders if you were intentionally hurting him as a form of payback. He shakes his head, not sure of how he feels. He sets the ring back on the table and lays down on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He feels so angry, knowing that this could've been prevented if he just would've kissed you. His heart aches with longing, and he wishes he could turn back time and make things right. But it's too late now, and all he can do is lie alone with his thoughts and regrets. He hears the clock ticking on the wall and counts the seconds, hoping they will pass faster. He closes his eyes, trying to block out the image of you walking away from him. He wonders if you'll ever forgive him, and he wonders if he'll have to watch you fall for someone else or if there is still hope for him when he returns home.

When you arrive at the airport, Noah greets you warmly and offers to help you with your bags. "You doing OK?" he asks, his voice laced with concern. He sees the sadness and exhaustion on your face, and he knows you've been through a lot.

You nod, "Yeah, just wanna get home." You say, forcing a smile. You don't feel like talking; you just want to forget everything that happened. Noah nods in understanding and leads you out of the airport, where his car is waiting. As you walk, Noah glances over to see you staring at the ground. It's dark and cold, and you haven't yet asked him for his jacket, which surprised him. He knows you're always cold and usually lends you his jacket whenever you're together.

"Hey," he says, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and pulling you close. He tries to comfort you, to make you feel better. "You wanna talk about what happened?" He asks, hoping you'll open up to him. He wants to know what went wrong, what Jolly did or said to make you leave so suddenly. He wants to help you, to be there for you.

You feel a pit in your stomach as you think of the events of the last three days. You shrug your shoulders and nudge Noah's arm off you. You open the car door, still remaining silent. You're confused and angry.

Noah starts the engine, his lips pressed together as he watches you stare out the window. He feels like he's partly to blame for what happened. He was the one who encouraged you to go see Jolly, to confess your feelings, to take a chance.

"I'm sorry things didn't go how we thought they would," he says, his voice heavy with sorrow. He watches the road, purposefully missing the turn to keep you in the car a little longer. He wants to spend more time with you, to make you laugh and forget.

"Noah…" You groan. "I don't want to think about it anymore. Jolly made his choice, and now I need to move on." You lean your head on the window and watch as the rain droplets slide down the glass. You feel like they're a reflection of your tears and pain. You wish you could wash away everything that happened, everything that didn't happen and will never happen. "Please stop missing turns. I know it doesn't take this long to get home." You say, feeling impatient and restless. You want to get out of the car, out of this conversation, out of this mess.

Noah's grip tightens on the steering wheel, not out of frustration but worry. He sees the tears in your eyes and the pain on your face. "You wanna stay the night with me? We can watch a movie, and I'm sure George would love to snuggle you." He suggests, hoping you'll agree.

You shake your head again, closing your eyes and pressing your lips together. You don't want to stay with Noah, you don't want to watch a movie, you don't want to snuggle George. You just want to go home, to your own bed, to your own space, to your own misery. "I'll get him in the morning, Noah. I just really want to go home." You say, growing frustrated. You hate to sound ungrateful, but you can't stand being around anyone now. You just want to be alone.

The rest of the car ride is quiet, and it's not until you reach your apartment that you remember Noah has a key to your door.

You unbuckle your seatbelt and turn to face him. "Give me your key." You say, holding out your hand. You don't want him to have access to your place, check up on you, or bother you. You want to cut him off, at least for tonight.

Noah looks at you, shocked. "What?" He asks, "No." He says with wide eyes, "You said it's for an emergency, and right now, I'm worried you might have an emergency." He's afraid of what you might do. He cares about you more than you know, and he can't stand the idea of losing you, even if it's only mentally.

You stare at him with disbelief, "Noah, give me the fucking key. I just want to sleep peacefully without you annoying me because you're worried." You snap, losing your patience. You don't care about his feelings, and you don't care about his fears.

Noah can't believe you're pushing him away like this after everything you've been through together. He clenches his jaw and pulls his keys out of the ignition. He grabs the key and drops it in your hand. "Fine. Take it...just promise you'll come get George in the morning."

You force a smile and get out of the car. Noah pops the trunk, and you grab your bags, avoiding his gaze as you walk into your apartment.

You feel a twinge of guilt for how you treated Noah, but you can't help it. You're angry at him for making you believe that Jolly had feelings for you when he clearly didn't.

You drop your bags by your door and head to your bedroom, passing by one of the pictures you cherished of you and Jolly. You push your fingers under the frame and knock it off the wall, letting it fall to the floor. You hear the glass shatter and glance at the broken edge, feeling pain in your chest.

You stare at the photo of you and Jolly, your faces glowing with happiness. It was from the Fourth of July, the night you celebrated with fireworks and laughter. Noah was your photographer, capturing every moment with his phone. He teased you for being too scared to light anything but sparklers, but Jolly didn't mind. He thought you were adorable and joined you with his own sparkler. He wrapped his arm around your shoulder and kissed your temple as the sparks flew around you. It was a perfect night, and you felt nothing could go wrong.

You shake the thoughts as you walk away, not bothering to clean it up.

Reaching your room, you strip out of your clothes and turn off the light. You crawl into bed and reach for your phone, squinting at the bright screen.

You see a text message from Jolly. Did you make it back safe?

You sigh and turn off your phone. You don't want to talk to him. You toss your phone aside and lie on your back, staring at the ceiling, feeling lost and confused. You can't believe you fell for Jolly after holding him at arm's length for so long; you should've trusted your instincts. How did you miss the clues that he was only being nice to you? Maybe you missed the friendly signals because of how he held you the other night in his bed, making you feel safe and serene, or was it how he would wrap his arms around your waist or rest his hands on your hips when he spoke to you? Or maybe it was the ring he gave you, telling you he wanted you to think of him whenever you glanced at it.

You roll on your side and pull the blanket over your head, muffling your sobs. You hate feeling this way. You wish you could erase him from your mind, but you know you can't. He's a part of you, and you can't let him go. You close your eyes and drift into a restless sleep, dreaming of what could have been.

Part four

Tags: @blackveilomens @xxrainstorm

@somewhere-diamond @cookiesupplier

#jolly karlsson x y/n #jolly karlsson x you #jolly karlsson one shot #jolly karlsson fanfiction #jolly karlsson fic #jolly karlsson x reader #jolly Karlsson angst #bad omens fanfiction #bad omens fic

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fernlessbastard · 5 days

Note

im the psychotic wilbur anon (forgot to note im paranoid schitzo and i see myself so much in him ANYWAYS) BUT CWILBUR BPD FOR THE WORLD. (< ALSO BPD.) hottest take is that him and quackity are bpd4bpd and a huge part of their relationship is a learning curve figuring out how to navigate communication with each other and each others splits and such. i also think that wilbur tends to black split on HIMSELF more often, and quackity tends to black split on OTHERS more often. i also think that wilbur white splitting on quackity would be a whole nother thing they have to deal with, with wilbur suddenly being like "you are literally god to me and the only person who loves and cares about and understands me you are the greatest human being alive please let me worship you i love you so much" and quackity just being like "woag dude" LIKE. also im so so so for real wilbur has so much paranoid schitzo swag i dont know how to explain that this man is fucking TEXTBOOK paranoia and he has so many paranoid anxiety habits that make me feel insane. i think he always makes sure to lock the door and check the lock like six times when he comes home and he cant sleep at night if hes alone in the house so he barely slept in paradise and didnt sleep right until he moved in with quackity, i think he has really severe paranoia about imposters and intruders and also barely slept and was constantly on high alert in pogtopia and he could only really sleep when quackity visited or if tommy or technoblade shared a mat with him, i think he also has delusions of grandeur that he has to deal with a lot and reality checking him can be really dangerous especially coupled with his bpd because he then SNAPS to black splitting on himself so hard he makes himself sick, ohhhh cwilbur my sickly man i adore you so sorry for being insane in your inbox

The first ask in question

(Ok so as a disclaimer obviously headcanons are personal and there's no wrong ones and you're valid for reading it this way)

With Wilbur I very much agree, but I don't see bpd in Quackity tbh. It more so looks like ADHD alongside shit like abandonment issues, being invalidated his entire life, being generally overworked and having no healthy outlet for his feelings, having trouble identifying said feelings in the first place, etc - all of which are very common in/characteristic of ADHD. I don't remember him ever splitting. His shitty love life makes sense with ADHD too - deficiency of dopamine makes it very easy to mistake the dopamine boost from "new person to talk to" for a crush (believe me). Hypersexuality is also common in ADHD, as well as emotional dysregulation, alexithymia (difficulty/inability to identify one's own emotions), overstimulation, shutdowns, etc, which can occasionally resemble splitting, but is very different, and works through exhaustion and frustration rather than delusions. Various types of paranoia as well as heightened irritability are also very common, especially when your senses are clouded by sensory/information/emotional overstimulation. And especially the splitting outwards part just doesn't sit right with me - maybe i missed a stream or sth but I haven't seen anything like that in him. Furthermore I'd actually say he generally points negative feelings/breakdowns etc inwards for the most part - and when ADHD is being pointed inwards it usually leads exactly to developing/heightening shit like paranoia, rejection sensitivity, hypersexuality, emotional dysregulation, alexithymia, etc. He can snap and isolate himself, but it's very different to splitting. ALSO - very important part - Quackity doesn't exhibit mania episodes. He occasionally exhibits the type of hyperactivity and excitement representative of ADHD, but it's never this state of delirium with feelings of grandeur, delusions, etc. Wilbur does exhibit mania episodes - pretty heavily at that - and the contrast makes it pretty apparent that Quackity's case is different.

THAT BEING SAID I don't have bpd, so for a perspective from someone who does, here's a rant from @octobre-ackedia: <<On so many levels, Quackity doesn't show bpd symptoms. Not all abandonment issues are borderline personality disorder. I don't think I need to say it, but bpd takes over the entire life of a person, it's not just trauma. And I don't really have much to elaborate on with the ask, mostly showing Wilbur's bpd traits but that's for an entirely different rant, and I need to chill out. Quackity doesn't black split on others. It was not shown a single time. He slowly loses trust in people, he builds walls, but that's not splitting. He doesn't start to irrationally hate everyone around himself, think that people are just cruel and bad, and more importantly don't care about him, suddenly becoming aggressive towards them. He backs off a little bit more with each disappointment in people around him, ending up not so much hating, as avoiding human relationships. And he doesn't have a favourite person, not even Slime who was just so perfectly there to be an example of that. Quackity learnt how to trust the guy, building a friendship, but never became truly "obsessed" with him. He grieved his death, tried to save him, but FFS, that's not a favourite person, that's how human relationships work (or more so, hybrid relationships haha). He doesn't get manic. You could say he becomes strongly confident, hypersexual or overworking himself, but the important part in it is the reasoning. He doesn't start believing he is some sort of a saviour for the world and can build a perfect country, or that he doesn't need anyone for that. He starts a project and might go overboard with it, but it's never this... aggressive as with bpd. With the 9 most visible symptoms, he has maybe 3 of them, which are all clear reactions to specific situations. Unstable relationships? Schlatt became an abuser, Karl and Sapnap abandoned him, he never really influenced any of that happening. The abandonment issues and feeling of emptiness are simple reactions to that trauma. His moves are calculated, he doesn't really show any mood swings, he has a quite clear image of himself, he doesn't experience any suicide ideation or shows extreme examples of self harm/putting himself in danger. And what about the part of splitting when he pushes people away after getting scared of becoming too close? He always stays, in the end. Even when he tried so hard not to get attached to Slime. Where's the white splitting? Where's anything, really. I still stand with the headcanon of them having to navigate a hard relationship, with both of them experiencing severe mental issues, but it's not bpd4bpd. Q is my depressed ADHD bitch, who struggles with trauma.>>

Also I'd say Wilbur's heavily autism coded too - as a bonus it does frequently "strengthen" bpd cause of the type of trauma autistic people experience. Q I see as very much ADHD but I also low-key hc him as somewhere on the spectrum too, though I'm not as heavily set on that

Tldr while Wilbur absolutely clearly has some severe mental issues, Quackity's seem (to me at least) to be more easily and consistently explainable by a combination of ADHD (maybe low support needs autism) and some (pretty damn severe (canonically - looking mainly at all the abandonment + sa hints)) trauma

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pumpk1n-writes · 1 year

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Tell Me All About The Dark Places You Hide ~ Part Eight

➥ in which the reader figures out that their best friends are the infamous Woodsboro Killers and decides to help them rather than turn them in. {ft. boring chapter (I swear the next one is better), Stu being an idiot, Billy being an idiot, Billy in love, mention of Sidney’s attack}

Part Seven | Part Nine || Word Count ~ 1.07k words

Taglist ~ @wasawattpadkid @katie-tibo @laurajmcmanus @sparklyphantom @minkyungseokie @misscaller06 @juda-the-simp @severuslovebot @asdorlia @billysbae @lilac-fangirl @bloody-delusion-expert @rubyroscoe1 @honeynicoole @ok-boke @thatonetallweirdo @ren-ni @fictionalcharacterslut @ennycutie

There was no doubt about it anymore. Billy was completely in love with you. It was like a sickness, spreading from his heart to his head, poisoning his mind. After that night when you’d shown that you were truly as messed up as they were, Stu and Billy had been spending as much time as they could with you.

It was because of this that you were currently smiling to yourself, still riding the high of the other night. The school had been buzzing with fear and anticipation of who the next murder would be. The boys had filled you in on their plan and you had to laugh every time you thought about it. They had no idea what was coming.

Lunch was fairly uneventful, and Sidney didn’t seem to notice the fact that Billy kept scooting the two of them closer to you. Stu, being his usual touchy self had been practically attached to you at the hip, and Tatum didn’t even care. Randy was going off about some new movie he’d seen a thousand times already, and for a moment everything seemed almost normal.

Normal, at least until the bell for fourth period rang and Billy jumped up to walk with you a little too quickly, drawing a strange look from Sid. She shook her head and moved on, interlocking hands with Tatum and leading her to their math class.

You laughed to yourself. “You realize that in order for your plan to work, you have to make sure Sid doesn’t break up with you first, right?”

“She‘s too caught up with her attack last night to even notice,” Billy rolled your eyes.

“She was attacked last night!?” You hissed out the question. For a moment Billy wondered why you didn’t say something more along the lines of ‘you attacked her last night?’ But then he realized that you were just being more careful than him and smarter than him in case anyone was listening.

Billy nodded hesitantly, not knowing where this conversation was going.

“You guys are moving faster than I thought you were. What’s next?”

He shrugged. “I figured that if she gets attacked in the bathroom, school would get cancelled and Stu would throw a party. And that’s where we’d… well you know.” He cast a furtive glance around them.

You hit him. “Stop being so loud! So what, you want me to do it? Since you can’t go into the bathroom?”

Billy shook his head and scoffed at you right as Stu came up behind the two of you, draping an arm around both of your shoulders. “Watcha talking about?”

You shrugged. “We’re just discussing Billy’s brilliant plan to sneak into the girls’ bathroom after Sidney.”

“Billy,” Stu looked affronted. “You can’t just do that. There’s rules, you know. And they might scream if they see you.”

You nodded happily, proud that Stu had taken your side.

“I actually have a better idea,” the gleam in Billy’s eyes scared you, and you hesitantly looked towards Stu for reassurance. You were rewarded with the same look from him. Clearly he’d caught on faster than you had.

*divider (this is the best divider guys)*

Crushed into the tiny bathroom stall, the wall at your back and Stu at your front, you grumbled about the “plan” for the thousandth time. “No one is going to buy it, Stu,” you whisper-yelled, but you couldn’t fight off the shiver that sprinted down your spine at the lack of space between the two of you.

“We don’t have to do anything, Val. It’s just a cover.”

You shrugged. “You have a girlfriend for now and you want to be on your best behavior for what comes next.” You winked.

Stu smiled down at you mischievously. “Don’t worry, I’ll won’t get distracted.”

“I’m more worried about you getting carried away,” you snorted, shoving his shoulder as best you could in the tiny space.

You heard the door open and then two stall doors slammed shut. A discussion about Sidney faking the whole thing ensued and you pressed your hand against Stu’s mouth. He batted it away and cocked his head questioningly. You nodded and leaned up to meet his lips. It’s all part of the plan. His fingers were tangled in your hair and he bit your bottom lip, clearly trying to sell the act. Selling it to you or the people outside?

You heard the door open again, and peeked through the crack in the stall. Once you saw that it was Sidney, you tapped Stu’s shoulder twice.

“You’re pathetic,” one of the girls from earlier said with a lilting tone. You could hear as they exited the bathroom, and then Sidney leaving her stall. Stu pulled away, and you couldn’t help the disappointment shining in your eyes. You watched as Stu changed into the Ghostface robe and slipped the mask on, and then waited for Billy to whisper Sid’s name through the vents. (You’d laughed out loud when they’d told you this part of the plan.)

But you could see through the stall that it was working and Sidney was looking around frantically. You saw her get down on the ground to look under the stalls and you gestured for Stu to stand up on the toilet seat lid with you.

He waited another beat until he stepped slowly off of the lid, his cloak coming down next. Another moment and he burst out of the stall, lunging for her. You cringed when you heard a literal sink fall off of the wall. You heard her run out of the bathroom and quickly made your way towards Stu, practically ripping off his robe and mask.

“Damn, girl. If only you were always this eager to get my clothes off.”

“Shut up. We can’t let anyone see you like this.”

“Like what? Hot and steamy?”

“If you don’t shut your mouth I’m gonna cut your fucking tongue out.”

“Hmmm,” Stu winked. “Feisty.”

You glared at him, finally able to stuff the costume in your backpack and rush out of the bathroom right as the the intercoms came on, announcing the new curfew and cancellation of school.

You and Stu grinned at each other, the adrenaline rush of what was to come coursing through both your veins.

He swung an arm around your shoulder, whispering the next words right next to your ear. “Show time.”

#billy loomis scream #scream #scream 1996 #billy loomis #scream 1996 smut #fluff #poly!ghostface #stu matcher scream #stu macher #stu matcher x you #stu macher my beloved

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nightgoodomens · 5 months

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OK, so somebody may have already had this theory, but I haven't seen it elsewhere yet. Is there a version where Aziraphale knows exactly what he needs to say to prevent Crowley from following him to heaven and that's why EVERYTHING he says in the last scene is so completely wrong and awful? Where Crowley being alive and safe is so much more important than Crowley being happy that Aziraphale will break his heart rather than let him be endangered? That Crowley staying himself is more important to Aziraphale than having to solve the Second Coming problem on his own? And it's hard and he almost can't do it. But he does it.

I think I’ve seen variety of this theory here and there and to be fair I quite like it. It seems to be getting backlash because oh fans want Aziraphale to have the character development and it makes sense with things he previously said and people keep on talking about his trauma BUT…

1. I think this trauma talk is overdone. Ok he was brainwashed because he’s an Angel. But he also spent 6 thousands years on Earth with Crowley who never forced any ideas on him but it’s shown that he kept on showing him reality. Also traumatised by what? It’s Crowley who was kicked out of his home and tortured for asking questions instead of blindly following. If anyone can have any trauma here it is him. And trauma gives no right to Aziraphale to act like an ass, to be fair, especially to the only creature there that was 99% of the time kind to him. Crowley is incredibly kind considering the shit he went through so what excuse does Aziraphale have? There comes a point when you’re choosing your delusion. But maybe talking without thinking is just part of his character? Nobody is perfect.

2. This whole trauma talk doesn’t make sense to me because Aziraphale is clearly shown being head over heels in love with Crowley and wanting to be with him open and proud - he doesn’t care what Heaven or Hell has to say about it. That bitchy cocky eyebrow gave me life. Or he’s at least secure enough to think that Heaven and Hell wouldn’t care to check anymore. Or that he and Crowley have been acting like a couple for years now and Heaven and Hell did not do anything so let’s call it what it is. I don’t think him flirting with Crowley thorough S2 is trying to find out if Crowley loves him back - he knows he does - this is just trying to make them official and slowly easing Crowley into it, testing the waters - if he will have a problem with it. I think feelings have been made clear in 1941. This is just making them official after saying “you’re too fast for me, Crowley” - Aziraphale is making the move because he stopped them last time.

3. Aziraphale made some not the best comments thorough the years but let’s remember these were the times when they were meeting once every many, many years. Now compare to S2 - he threw a bit of a fit when Crowley didn’t do what he wanted - that IS that one thing I believe he needs to snap out of (character development wise), because he has such a God way of bashing Crowley if he doesn’t do what he wants. BUT. Apart from it Aziraphale has been a gem to Crowley. He’s looking at him like at a picture, he’s touching him, talking about their existence together, he’s saying my bookshop is your bookshop, let’s share Bentley too, he’s so happy when he’s back from the trip and sees Crowley (and gets shoved plants in his face whoops). And checks out Crowley’s butt. We all saw that. He keeps on showing Crowley that they’re together. Crowley keeps on underling that they aren’t because I think he’s so set on “you’re going too fast for me Crowley” that he dissociated himself from the idea of them being together and Aziraphale knows that’s why he’s trying to show him it’s okay now. Is Aziraphale absolutely perfect in everything he does/says? No, but nobody is perfect. What’s important is that he’s trying and it’s so obvious he’s trying to make them official and how much he loves Crowley.

4. And then suddenly bang. After 6 episodes of basically screaming “I love you” we’re back to BE AN ANGEL. BE MY SECOND IN COMMAND. YOU ARE THE BAD GUYS. And I just… holy shit what the fuck happened?

5. Now, Crowley is gobsmacked because he didn’t hear that bullshit in a long time. I’m pretty sure he expects Aziraphale to at least know him well enough to know that he’d never go back to Heaven. Yet Aziraphale is shaking from excitement and then spews all the other bullshit AND even ignores Crowley’s CONFESSION - that he waited so desperately for!

6. There is no way. No chance. It’s like Aziraphale did a 180 turn suddenly.

7. Oh but he thought he’s doing the right thing! He just wanted Crowley to be safe in Heaven - now we can be split here - On one hand Aziraphale is no idiot, but he also can be foolish when it comes to Heaven. Ok maybe that’s it. BUT.

8. Then we will have to agree that Aziraphale is really foolish enough to think Metatron is trustworthy after everyyyyyything. But I don’t think he trusts him. You know why?

9. Aziraphale looks terrified when he walks away from Metatron. His brain is working on overdrive. Why isn’t he jumping in happiness on the way to Crowley if it’s such a good news?

10. Why does Aziraphale keeps on looking towards the window? If he trusts Metatron so much, why is he looking “behind his back”?

11. Aziraphale can be seen as excited and happy or maybe he’s really talking shit and pretending to be happy, like others noticed he acts the same as during the scenes where he lies.

12. So maybe he is using all the things that he knows will hurt Crowley to make him leave.

13. But, but… There is that moment he kisses back and nearly tells Metatron to fuck off so he can run after Crowley and kiss him again. Maybe for a moment he thinks ah fuck making Heaven better, he just wants Crowley. But he bites his tongue and chooses his duty.

14. On the other hand if Aziraphale said all of it because he simply thought Crowley will be happy… Maybe he really is still too deep in Heaven. Maybe that’s why he thought wrong. I don’t think he thinks of Crowley less because he’s a Demon because he was ready to marry him on the spot when becoming an Angel wasn’t an option. But the things he said, from Crowley’s side, really could have been taken so wrong. Did he actually mean for them to be though?

15. So anyway… who the fuck knows honestly.

#NightGoodOmens answers

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samheughanswife · 1 year

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🎥 📸 💯 📍 🇬🇧

Answering the DM’s who have told me I OWE this dash the photos that were sent to me of the protagonists and child just make me 🤣

Taking a trip down memory lane and I recall that I gifted this space photos. I was subsequently pilloried - even though I owned my actions.

I’ve been off this space for awhile now. Why? Because I have confirmation and I’m satisfied.

This dash is filled with hypocrisy and entitlement. Gimme gimme. But then fuck you when it doesn’t fit with your agenda/narrative/delusions.

Let’s just look at the collective reaction to Sam’s appearance on WWHL. The pearl clutching and horror at the discussion and answers. Sam asked about oral sex and his answers and supposed discomfort. Jesus, such provincialism and hypocrisy.

Need I remind you all about the salacious glee of the gifs from S1 especially. The references to full English breakfast - Jamie giving Claire oral sex. Claire giving Jamie oral sex. The pornification of the sex scenes. The outrage when in following seasons the sex scenes were no longer as graphic and intense. The endless discussion on that tent scene and whether Sam/Jamie had a hard on 🙄

Apparently it’s ok to be sexually explicit here. It’s ok to sexualise Sam, but god forbid someone else does. The infantilism of Sam by most is again 🙄 Sam is grown man who knows exactly what he is doing and why. He can sit beside his female co-star and be sexually risqué. He had the brief, he knew the audience he was playing too. Sam had the right to be as dirty and smutty as other male guests on WWHL.

I have said this to many over the years, the attempt to Americanize Sam - fit with American culture/politics would ultimately slap you all in the face. In the beginning he worked hard to create the impression that he belonged to the North American book purists. Then the large Sam only’s in their various factions. The shippers, the neutrals. And of course the king of men for the horny grannies , JAMMF/ Sam one in the same unless he moved off the fantasy script. And then he just said fuck it, ENOUGH. Which is exactly what happened with Andy Cohen. No one forced him to do that show. Not the nefarious HW overlords. Not TPTB. He has agency. It’s S7/S8. Both Sam and Caitriona are looking at the END and they do not care.

I literally cringed reading the comments and the endless brow beating.

Eish 🥱

TL;DR.

There are at a minimum at least a 100 women who know that I have the goods, having been in groups that benefited from both my anons and information shared that came from serendipity and luck.

Loose lips sink ships - “The practice or characteristic of being overly talkative, especially with respect to inadvertently revealing information which is private or confidential”

Been there done that!

I’ve shared with a couple of friends. I thank you for your confidentiality 💙

Sláinte

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denalidear · 11 months

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Soft

a/n: here to feed your delusions once again. this one could be a two parter if anyone is interested. let me know :)

summary: drunk words are sober thoughts

word count: 1032

warnings: drunk will, mention of girlfriend and drinking, an appropriate amount of angst

- - -

It was hard; being his best friend right now. Every night for the past month or so around 12:30 am you’d get a call. Most of the time he just wanted to talk about his stream, how many viewers he had that night, what he’d done. Other times he asked you to come over. Those were the nights he hadn’t streamed. The ones he reserved to go out with Tommy and you. He’d always cancel plans about an hour before you’d meet - give some lame excuse about how his girlfriend wanted to stay in or he had to edit a video. Those were the calls you were dreading because you knew how you’d find him when you went to visit.

It was 2:49 am, this night. Your phone lit up with a photo of you two in central London you’d taken months ago, before he started dating this girl, but just after he broke up with the last one. Your eyes barely opened to make sure it was a call worth answering, but since it was him, you rolled onto your side and tapped the green button.

“Will, are you alright? It’s late.”

“She left me.” He mumbled, the wine or beer he had certainly been drinking almost seeped through the phone screen. “She left angry and texted me to say we were done.”

“Can I come over?” You were already slipping on shoes. A blurry ‘yes’ came through the speakers and you left your flat. Thankfully he was only around the block, and you kept him talking as you sped to him. “I’m here, come let me in.”

“It’s open. I’m up in the bedroom.” He spoke through the phone, sounding a little more aware than he had only ten minutes ago. It calmed the worry in your gut a bit, but the fact he’d left his doors unlocked while he was inebriated kept the knot in your stomach tight. Once you were inside you hung up the phone and shouted up to him.

“I’m just taking off my shoes!” carefully lining them up next to his - where her’s would normally be. You could hear a little shuffling upstairs but nothing that added to your concern. That is until you heard glass hit and shatter on the floor. You almost slipped as you raced up - soft socks and hardwood stairs not a good mix. “Will?”

“I’m ok.” He shouted from his room. “-is just my glass.” He was sprawled across his bed, arm outstretched to reach the table that had an open bottle of wine and now cup-less coaster. At least he cared for his furniture. His hair stuck to his forehead and you could tell he hadn’t gotten up in at least 8 hours, the blankets around him flattened from his long stay in bed.

“You’re not hurt?”

“Physically, no. Emotionally?” He smashed his face further into his pillows instead of answering.

“How much have you had to drink tonight?” You ask, carefully picking up the largest pieces of glass shards that had scattered across the floor. You grimaced at the small spots of red that had spattered on the light walls, making a mental note to clean it up when he was feeling better.

“We were drinking a bit at dinner. Something red that she’d wanted.” He curled his long body into himself as he recounted the evening's events. Wilbur was a sad drunk, but also a chatty one, so his story went on for a few minutes while you finished cleaning the glass. His eyes followed you as you moved about the room and he pulled his head up a bit once his story was finished.

Once the mess was cleaned, or at least the sharp shards put into the trash, you sat yourself by the edge of his bed and leaned your head in close to his. “How can I help you, Will?” You whispered to the man. He shrugged so you offered a few options. “Do you want me to make you something to eat? Maybe while you shower and sober up a bit?”

“I’ll shower but will you just sit outside? I don’t think I wanna be alone right now.” He whispered the last bit. You nodded and helped him up. Once he was sitting on the edge of the bed, you standing in front of him, he wrapped his long arms around your waist and tucked his head into your stomach. Your hand pulled his head in, running your fingers through his hair.

“We’ll get through it. I know we will.” You spoke as he clung to you. “And hey, this means Lovejoy will get some really good songs after this, huh?” You teased as he pulled away. That put a smile on his face as he stood and lumbered to the bathroom. You took your place on the floor near the bathroom door and listened as Will rambled about whatever had happened on his last stream. You could hear the water hitting the floor as he washed his hair. Soon enough he was out and changed, pulling you into another hug.

“Better?” You asked him and he let out a deep breath.

“Yeah. Definitely still drunk though.” He mumbled into your hair. “Will you stay with me?”

“Do you think I have anything better to do at three in the morning?”

“Maybe.” He shrugged and pulled you into the bed with him. Once you got comfy he arranged his long limbs over you, resembling a starfish. A longboard sigh left his lungs as he nuzzled a little into his pillow. You realized at this moment this isn’t what best friends do. Best friends don’t cuddle or wait for the other to get out of the shower. Will’s breath steadied next to you as your mind began to swirl with thoughts as to what could cause that girl to leave such a soft and sweet man.

“It wasn’t ‘cause of me, was it? The argument I mean.” You asked into the dark room, expecting an answer. Instead, you heard a quiet snore and realized that Will had fallen asleep, head tucked into your neck. Guess that conversation will have to happen tomorrow.

#wilbur x reader #Wilbur soot #blurb #fic #two parter #wilbur soot x fem!reader #wilbur x y/n

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the-crimson · 7 months

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Ok so after writing my observations yesterday on q!bbh’s delusions about the egg photos and reading this post by the wonderful @kadextra I started thinking about the relationship between q!bbh’s self harm and his delusions.

Both are coping methods for the immense pain of losing the eggs and q!bbh’s failure to protect them. Gonna put an early cut cuz I’m gonna be talking about self harm and suicide idealization so if these are triggering topics, take care of urself and read at ur own pace.

There are hundreds of different reasons (often subconscious) why people commit acts of self harm but some of the more common ones are cries for help, externalizing internal pain, and punishing oneself. I think bbh’s self harming tendencies steam from all three, in addition to a general lack of self worth but that is nothing new to mr I popped 25 totems no big deal.

The eggs are bbh’s world and he failed them. When he first fed himself to the vultures, it was only a couple days after the eggs had vanished. Long enough for the hope that they’d return to fade and for the reality of the situation to sink in. They are gone. He failed them.

Bad may have justified it to himself that he was continuing Dapper’s work but deep down he was punishing himself for failing by physically destroying his body in addition to externalizing his internal pain. Now what do I mean by that? Internal/emotional pain can feel irrational and helpless because it’s all inside. Physically hurting oneself gives a person an element of control over their pain and a justification for why everything hurts. It makes it easier to manage even tho this is incredibly dangerous and unhealthy. When life or emotions feel out of control, self harm can feel revolutionary and like you are taking your agency back. Brains are weird.

Bad fed himself to the soul vultures for two weeks before he stopped. At first, he was in their spawning area seemingly collecting soul hearts - even though there was no need because Dapper collected over a stack of them. Then, he moved to Ron’s cell where he allowed the vultures to eat him while Ron watched/listened. In both instances, bbh has a “logical” reason for doing what he’s doing but the moment you think about it for two seconds his reasoning falls apart because the true purpose is self harm. Dapper already collected a bunch of the hearts and there are a million different ways bbh could psychologically torture Ron besides actively hurting himself as well.

All of this is also a desperate cry for help. Bad doesn’t hide the wounds the vultures left and even after he stopped letting them eat him, the wounds continue to get worse. Whatever the vultures did to him/bad did to himself has left a very visible indication that he is deteriorating quickly. Everyone has told him there is something wrong and he doesn’t try to hide it or cover up what has them worried. Bad doesn’t notice because he can’t, because he doesn’t care, because he doesn’t matter. But it is a clear indication to others that something is deeply wrong and he needs help even if he’d be kicking and screaming trying to resist.

Another common reason for self harm occurs when someone has severe depression. Depression isn’t just “I’m sad”. Depression is “I feel nothing”. My mom once described it as literally the world loses its color. When Foolish lit bbh on fire and Bad said something along the lines of thanks I can feel something - it was played as a joke but that is a legit thing. Some people commit acts of self harm just so they feel something. Feeling something is better than nothing. At least then you know ur alive. I can also see this being a factor in bbh’s self harming practices.

What interests me the most is when Bad stops letting the vultures eat him: when he starts indulging in his delusions about the eggs in the photos. He trades one coping method for another.

Instead of externalizing the pain and punishing himself, he enters a fantasy where the pain doesn’t exist because the eggs are right here. He gives himself a moment of respite from the pain so that he has the strength to continue carrying it. But as we saw, this eroded his ability to tell reality from fiction and lead to a full blown dissociative mental break down.

Then what happens a couple days after his break down? We see him once again allowing a vulture to attack him. He’s leading it around like a pet in broad daylight. Yesterday was incredibly triggering for bbh because he was forced to face the dead eggs as well as his eggs that are missing/may wind up dead any moment. If Aypierre hadn’t accidentally triggered bbh’s break a few days ago I definitely think this would have triggered it. Not only talking to the dead eggs but being faced with the possibility that Bad might be digging seven more graves soon would be more than enough to break him.

Bad’s self harm in this instance was a grounding method. To keep him here, in the present. Who knows how long he spent on the church roof preparing himself for visiting the dead eggs. He was literally sitting there trying to stop himself from dissociating because he knew how important it was to keep the egg’s memory alive. He knew how much it meant to Dapper.

The fact that bbh risked everyone finding out about Dapper’s soul vultures just so he could keep himself present enough to visit the eggs is insane. His priorities are so incredibly skewed and we see this in everything he does. He is both completely blind to the consequences of his actions while intensely aware of the spiderweb he’s weaving across the island. He doesn’t care if anything happens to him and fully expects himself to die at some point. He doesn’t care about potentially spilling Dapper’s soul vulture secret because he’s already let the cat out of the bag on scanners. He doesn’t care if Dapper hates him for revealing their secrets. All he cares about is Dapper coming back safe and sound - with or without Bad.

I honestly think a part of Bad wants to die. This whole experience has hurt him so much that I don’t think he thinks there is a way back. Even if the eggs return, his failure remains and all the drastic measures he’s taken can’t be erased. Tragedy follows bbh everywhere he goes. He has painted history with blood. Maybe he thinks dying to save the kids will redeem him in some way. I doubt bbh will actually die or die permanently but the character definitely plans on sacrificing and potentially dying one way or another. All he needs to do is hold out long enough for his plan to come to fruition which means employing what ever coping methods he can to survive his grief, but once it’s done… idk and I don’t think bbh knows either.

Now we’ll just have to see what bbh does next. If he continues self harming with the vultures or indulging in delusions or tries something new and more desperate/dangerous. I trust at the end of all this cc!bbh will give us a happy ending but it’s always darkest before the dawn and I feel like we’ve got a lot of night left.

#qsmp #crimson speaks #tw self harm #tw suicide mention #q!badboyhalo #I am both terrified and excited to see what happens next #he’s only gonna get worse

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littleeggrock · 5 months

Text

long drabble about the events of purgatory day 14

mainly a Jaiden pov watcher but i was tuned into Phil for awhile today just to get a good sense of what was happening, and i needed something to fill the Jaiden shaped hole in my head. i went in with good intentions and hope for the future and came out with angst and a desire to write. drabble under the cut

Philza doesnt know what to think about after today, so he thinks about Bolas.

he thinks of Jaiden, still passed out, broken, beaten, unconscious curled up in their old base like she has been for the past week. the sole reason for the teams name and the heart of it all. he hopes she was far enough underground that the meteors didn't hurt her. but even if they somehow managed to miss, the earthquake would have gotten her anyways. still, he has hope, Jaiden's always been resilient, bouncing back up after every death since the first day they met. bobby's death took a toll on her, broke her, some could say, but even still, in purgatory, literal hell, she thrived. screeching across the coms as her death messages filled the communicators, laughing to herself as she was killed over and over again, knowing that its for the good of the team. god he hopes shes ok, wherever she is now, she deserves it.

he thinks of Baghera, a broken woman,clinging to the child she couldn't save. purgatory broke her, she was damaged before the eggs, before everything, Pomme's disappearance was the catalyst, but Hell was the straw that broke the camels back. he recalls howling around the campfire of their corpses, and in the heat of the moment, and to the shock of the others around her, she exclaimed that the watcher could kill Pomme, and she wouldn't even care. Phil knew then that it wasn't true and now, more than ever. so she stayed back, willing to sacrifice her life, possibly for good this time.

he thinks of Cellbit, a man pushed to his limits. people are made without purpose, but Phil thinks that if anyone has one, Cellbits is to love. he loved his husband, even on the battlefield, when they both killed each other multiple times and came out stronger in in their relationship than ever before. he loved Bolas, maybe not in the same way but loved them all none the less, because they were a team, and nothing could take that away from them. they fought together, killed together, ate together, slept together, and sometimes that creates the strongest bonds of all. and if he started the trend of calling Phil dad, even as a joke? well, who is he to complain. he loved Richarlyson more than the world itself. his one true confident, the only one who knew mostly all of his plans. the egg that was taken from him. the egg's disappearance that drove him to start killing again. the egg that kept him killing through hell. the egg that he died trying to save, perhaps an attempt to provide a sacrifice to the watcher so he would return his son to him.

he thinks of Foolish, who made it on the boat with him. Jaiden was the closest anyone on the island had ever gotten to Foolish, asides from Bad maybe. his cheerful exterior finally cracked, just like his totem body, he sits silent, and Phil knows he isn't taking this well. he cant remember the last time he saw him this still.

he thinks of Charlie, and knows the code seems to have spread. it's licking at his shirt now, spreading to his biceps and moving across the frames of his glasses like an oil spill. he knows that he and Baghera were close, remembers the two singing in tandem at karaoke, the goldfish joke, and hes heard the horror stories of The Big Swell. Phil doesn't know what to do about charlie, so deep in Codeflippa's delusion that he doesn't think he could pull him out no matter what he did. with over half of bolas gone charlie is vulnerable, and Phil silently vows to not allow him near "Flippa" alone ever again, lest it take advantage of him. if he cant stop the spread, maybe he can slow it until something or someone else can.

he thinks of Etoiles, and its difficult to get a read on the stoic warrior. however, he knows hes probably feeling guilty over it all, his duty, as hes stated many times during many different occasions, is to protect. he could hardly save himself, much less others this time, and Phil doesn't know what to tell him. he moves to sit over next to the warrior, and hopes Etoiles appreciates the closeness.

#qsmp #qsmp philza #qsmp jaiden #qsmp baghera #qsmp cellbit #qsmp foolish #qsmp charlie #qsmp etoiles #qsmp bolas #qsmp team red #qsmp red bolas #words of a broken woman #im sure phil is devastated abotu the eggs as well but i wanted to write about people lmao #first time writing and posting something big like this #i miss jaiden #hopefully she gets some Big Lore soon

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