#on GOD bro.

[mielmoto]

twenty goddamn years go by and i still get so emotional over kingdom hearts i feel like i want to destroy something with my bare hands

#violent adoration in its purest form. #on GOD bro. #ooc. #shoutout to my homies writing the characters which mean The Most to me.

[payasita]

being a manager sucks balls half the time but the cashier kids im in charge of trust me enough to dick around in front of me so ive been keeping a running list of the shit they say that makes me laugh randomly: -"guys, is it cheating if you play fortnite with your ex" [4 seperate others, immediately]: "YES" -"there must be like… infinite sentences" -"bro what bro what the fuck bro what's that mean bro why'd you say that bro what" <distraught response to a girl randomly greeting him with 'hey there big boy' in an old timey transatlantic news reporter accent

#personal #text #gonna miss these kids lol #theres more i cant remember rn but i swear to god some of them do it just to make me crack up when im the only one in charge #infinite sentences kid and bro what the fuck kid are the same kid #he could not give less of a shit about this job it's so fucking funny

[starchaserfanatic]

My Friends/Family: Hey can I see your phone? I need to look something up.

Me, closing like 80+ Ao3 Tabs as fast as I can:

#that’s all fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic #ao3 funny #ao3 #it’s private bro #what I read is between me and god stg #jegulus #wolfstar #ao3 fanfic #drarry #aziracrow #james potter #marauders fic #marauders #james x regulus #regulus black #remus x sirius #sirius black #remus lupin

[torubeth]

degradation taken too far (mature content 18+)

context/warnings : it’s smut, so kids shoo! hell of a lot of degradation. they’re so mean i hate them. (swearing, words used : slut and slutty) angst to i have no idea what. pls do lmk if i missed any tws. and as always, its not proofread :p gojo ver.

ryomen sukuna ‘is that all you can do? all your yapping earlier about ridin’ me was just talks? answer me’ his sudden shift in demeanour has you feeling really small. sure he is a rude ass prick but not to you. never to you.

‘no- i can take it. i really can ryo’ tears sting at your eyes as you struggle to take in his full length. his hands giving your waist a small squeeze.

‘yeah and that’s all you’ve been saying for the past goddamn fifteen minutes. either you take it like a good girl or i’ll just have to find someone who will. trust me, i can’ he eyes held no remorse of the words he just spewed and that’s when you break.

correction, you shatter.

somewhere in the back of your head you knew he’ll never leave you but him wording it out makes it seem like it’s bound to happen.

and so tears stroll down your cheeks, your hands and legs giving out on you, your body going limp against his and you whisper the same thing over and over again.

‘don’t leave me ryo. i’m sorry. didn’t mean to upset you. i’m so sorry. don’t leave’

quickly his arms wrap around your body protectively, your face between his shoulder blade and neck, wetting the area with fresh batch of tears.

‘i could never leave you. you’re-’ you’re it for me. ‘you’re always the one that keeps me sane. there’s no way i’ll ever leave you. i’m sorry baby, forgive me. i didn’t mean a word of what i said’ he says.

when he didn’t get a response from you ‘look at me’ he whispers. slowly you leave the comfort of his neck and meet his eyes.

‘i didn’t mean it. you could leave me on deathbed and i still wouldn’t mean it’

‘i can’t leave you ryo. i love you way too much’ you sniffle, new tears threatening to spill so you go back to huddle against his neck.

god. he knows you mean it. and that’s what makes him feel like a dickhead.

‘me too, i- i lo-’ he struggles, just as your palm reaches up to cover his mouth.

‘i know ryo, i know’ you whisper, placing your forehead against his, both of you basking in the quietness of the surrounding.

geto suguru ‘fuckin-! ah shit! some insane grip you have on me baby. can’t move if you clench and lock me up like that’ he smirks against your neck.

‘and a bit quiet today ain’t ya? you sure had a lot to say to satoru earlier heh’ he remarks.

‘we were just catching up suguru, nothing-! nothing more’ you whine.

‘catching up you say? does catching up require smiles and touches? do they angel baby?’ he raises his eyebrows.

‘no..’ you avert your eyes away from his.

‘that’s what i thought. so for that, now you pay’ he pulls out suddenly, and pushes all the way back in making you yelp out loud.

‘sugu! ah fuck, i don’t think i can go another round baby. s’too much!’ the pressure was starting to get to you and you were starting to lose stability.

‘hah, i know you can baby, this slutty pussy’s all you’re good for anyway. fuck, doesn’t matter whose it is, as long as you’re filled. am i right?’ his words pierced straight through your heart.

since when did he-?

out of reflex, your hands reach out to touch his face to make sure that this was a dream nightmare. otherwise there’s no way he-

‘don’t touch me with those filthy hands’ he spits but makes no effort to push your hand off.

‘do you really think that’s all i’m good for?’ your voice is soft, filled with pain, and suddenly it’s like he’s broken out of his trance.

what the fuck am i doing, he thought.

slowly he pulls out, all whilst holding your hand against his cheek.

‘absolutely not. no. fuck, did not mean it angel. i promise. i- i don’t know what came over me-! didn’t mean it. please i’m sorry. next time if i ever lose my shit with you, i want you to take the nearest sharp object and plunge it into my chest’ he heaves out a guttural sigh.

‘you were really mean you know..’ you wipe your eyes.

‘i know baby, fuck. i didn’t mean it. i did not mean it. i’ll never do it again princess, ever’ he repeats.

his face lands on your chest, thanking all the gods and the stars out there for giving him another chance.

he’ll never screw up again and that’s a promise.

nanami kento ‘you really couldn’t wait for a few hours? just had to go and think with your cunt, right? have you no- ugh! no shame?’ his thrusts were sloppy as his hands were placed around your hips.

‘kento- slow down baby, i- i don’t think i can last’ you whine, hands clutching at the sheets.

‘no. you asked for this you little slut. so shut. the. fuck. up. and take it!’ each syllable was accompanied by a harsh thrust.

the usually composed, sweet and calm nanami was nowhere to be found. he’s never once called you a ‘slut’ and what caused this? you rubbing him through his pants and riling him up at his office dinner earlier tonight.

he warned you off multiple times but did you listen? no.

‘why are you so quiet now? i thought this is what you wanted’ his voice comes out raspy and cold.

a quiet but audible whimper escaped your lips, making him halt his actions.

slowly he pulled out, gently laying you on your back as your body shook with each sob.

‘sweetheart…? why are you…’

you look up at him, eyes puffy and swolllen ‘i’m sorry kento, it’s just that, you’re never home these days and i missed you so much’ a cry that’s sure to crack his heart leaves your lips.

‘i just wanted you all to myself for tonight but i didn’t mean to be a bother-’

his warm body hovers over yours, ‘you’re never a bother baby. always know that. you will always be at the top of every and any list i make. there’s nothing more i want than coming home to you everyday after work. and i didn’t mean to lash out at you. you didn’t deserve that, i’m sorry’ he leans down to press a kiss to your forehead.

‘you will always have me sweetheart, never forget that. now let me make it up to you yeah?’

#bro i’m actually so scared to post this cuz i’ve never written anything like it before god bless #jujutsu kaisen #jjk smut #geto smut #jjk x reader smut #jjk x reader #geto x reader smut #jjk angst #jujutsu kaisen smut #sukuna smut #geto x reader #nanami smut #sukuna x reader smut #sukuna x reader #nanami kento smut

[trashmakerarticle]

Everyone thinks that dick was the golden child when in reality it was Jason.

Clark: Bruce who was your favourite robin?

Dick: obviously it’s me?

Tim: it’s dick

Damian: I am superior robin, it will be me.

Bruce: it’s Jason

Everyone: WHAT?!?!???

Bruce: why are you so surprised? He didn’t jump on too my chandeliers which I had to replace each week

*everyone looks at dick*

Bruce: he didn’t drop out of school

*everyone looks at tim*

Bruce: I didn’t have to stop him from killing everyone who annoyed him

*everyone looks at Damian*

Bruce: in fact, he enjoyed school and handed all his homework in on time, we would spend hours in the library reading his favourite classics. He even helped Alfred with most of the cooking, He was my little boy

Jason: stop spreading lies, I hate you go away

Bruce: my precious little boy

#jason todd #Bruce Wayne #dick Grayson #Damian Wayne #tim Drake #clark kent #Batman #alfred pennyworth #Bruce: he my little baby #jason: I’m 6’2 and have the ability to kill you if I wanted #Bruce: my baby my little son #jason: GOD YOURE SO EMBARRASSING DAD #jason was probably the most behaved child before he went boom boom and I stand by that #he enjoyed school #most likey hated it when he missed it #and he loves classic literature??? #bros a huge nerd #yea dick is all smiles but probably gave Bruce’s near death heart attacks everytime he swung from chandeliers and rooftops #jason just wanted to live his life in the library reading his fav books and homework

[kuzakat]

Goddddd, the way Vox turned around and arched backwards into Val.... WHORE 🫵🏻 BOTTOM 🫵🏻🫵🏻🫵🏻

#I FUCKIN SCREAMED BRO #LIKE WHYD YOU DO THAT HUH??? WHYD YOU SPECIFACALLY PULL VAL INTO THAT POSITION HUH!!!! #god and the HEIGHT DIFFERENCE #vox deserves to get dicked down is all im saying #hazbin hotel #hazbin vox #vox #hazbin hotel vox #valentino #valentino hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel valentino #vox hazbin hotel #voxval #vox x valentino #valentino x vox #kuza talks #staticmoth

[lustwithoutlore]

Stephanie, clearly upset: I just spent $30 at the grocery store and all I got was eggs, mayonnaise, fruit, and pop.

Tim: Oh so prices have gone down, that’s good.

Stephanie: …. I really hate you sometimes, Tim. Really hate you.

Tim: Isn’t $30 for all that cheap?

Stephanie, calling Jason: I need an immediate extraction I’m about to kill Tim.

Jason: … And you need the extraction, why?

#steph: *cocks gun* time to eat the fucking rich #tim: thank god if I get killed I can finally rest #steph: *lowers gun* uh…. you good bro? #batfamily #batman #jason todd #red hood #batfam #tim drake #stephanie brown #batgirl #red robin #dc comics #dc comics funny #incorrect batfamily quotes

[jessiesjaded]

Losing my mind at seeing Twitter Discourse where a girl talks about being a waitress and how sometimes people don't acknowledge her or reply to her at all when she speaks to them and how it feels dehumanising and all the people in the replies are like UM. SOME OF US HAVE /SOCIAL ANXIETY/ You're literally an evil person for wishing people would treat you with bare minimum decency :/ like idk how to tell you this but if a waitress asks how your evening is while she's taking you to your seat in a restaurant and you're gonna pretend saying "Fine, thank you" is a horrific arduous task like. Maybe you're just a massive cunt? Maybe you're just an insufferable fuckwit?

#i loveeeeee when people use social anxiety as an excuse to be rude like lmao #i get anxious sometimes and i can be awkward as fuck #but a two word 'Good. Thanks.' really is not that fucking difficult good god #especially since she stated theres been times when multiple customers will totally ignore any greeting and bark orders at her like. #youre just rude bro thats all that is

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

oh no bro whatdya do to your moral compass character? it's all out of whack.....did u overwhelm it with the inconsistencies and contradictions of the world? aw bro. bro please tell me u didn't expose it to false dichotomies. did u expose it to false dichotomies? bro

#well shit ya better get yer moral compass character recalibrated bro #in the mean time dear god keep that thing away from college philosophy classes

[turtleinsoup]

I love Donnie & Mikey LIKE AGH, just consider:

Mikey: *distressed yelling*

Donnie: *tells him to let go*

Mikey: *lets go*

LIKE THERE'S A 700 FEET DROP BELOW MIKEY AND HE LETS GO INSTANTLY, JUST BECAUSE DONNIE TOLD HIM TO, LIKE, DO YOU REALIZE HOW MUCH HE TRUSTS HIM

I CAN'T

THEM

#THOSE TURTLES #god i love the dynamics between the brothers so much #Donnie would protect his lil bro with his LIFE #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt #rottmnt donnie #tmnt 2018 #tmnt #donnie rottmnt #mikey rottmnt #peanutbutter & jelly duo

[ministarfruit]

stardew valley marriage candidates

#stardew valley #oh dear god character tagging. ok here we go #sdv alex #sdv elliot #sdv harvey #sdv sam #sdv sebastian #sdv shane #sdv abigail #sdv emily #sdv haley #sdv leah #sdv maru #sdv penny #it's like memorising an entire homeroom class #I JUST WANTED TO SEE HOW THEY'D TRANSLATE INTO MY STYLE #bros the concept of this town full of bisexuals that could want you is so funny #like I have mostly just been farming but it makes me laugh when I remember #ah yes. bisexual town #obv that's an umbrella term in this context and you're free to HC them whatever you wish #I just think bisexual town has so much potential for shenanigans

[naariel]

Halsin, my heart 💚

#halsin #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #it's he #my bear man #it's my first serious painting of him and gods I hope I did him justice #all the others were kinda just for funsies just whatevers #but this one was serious bro and oh my lawd im sweatin im nervous #my art

[cheekylittlepupp]

oh my fcking god Halsin you big hunk of treasure

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 spoilers #halsin #bg3 halsin #god this man is too precious #the duck #the goddamn duck bro :") #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate iii #halsin baldur's gate 3

[bishy437]

👨‍👨‍👦‍👦

#wangji goes jiiiiiiiiiii #yes i altered the ages im allowed to do that bc i am the god of my canvas #nielan #nie bros #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #nie huaisang #nie mingjue #lan xichen #lan wangji #mine

[shybiii]

Computer Johnny, violently shoving the other two computer ghosts aside the second he hears Celia coyly listing The Entities: OH MY GOD FUCKING MOVE!! CELIA!! CELIAAAAAA!! HERE'S A STORY WITH A RECOGNIZABLE PLACE NAME ABOUT SOMEONE WHO TAKES OVER A JOB POSITION AFTER THE PREVIOUS MANAGER PASSED AWAY AND IT ALL GOES TITS UP AFTER THE WIZARD CABAL MOVES IN AND SETS UP SHOP!! CELIA THERE'S PARA-MILITARY GOVERNMENT INVOLVEMENT NOW!!!!! IT'S ALL GOING TITS UP CELIA!! DO YOU GET IT?? DO YOU GET IT?? CEEEEELIAAAAAAAAA!!!!

#tmagp spoilers #tmagp #the magnus protocol #the magnus protocol spoilers #celia ripley #bros he is trying SO FUCKING HARD BRO OH MY GOD #i would alos be freaking the fuck out #my man has been trapped in that fucking desktop for god knows how long #GET HIM OUTTA THERE

[time-woods]

i imagine they had a few learning moments when first sharing the cube

#adventure time #fionna and cake #prismo the wishmaster #scarab the god auditor #prohibitedwish #imagine how strange itd be just one day having someone on the same plane as you when ur so used to it just being you #like bro any sensation would be so wack #like wtf ? ? ? what was that ? ? #physical sensations are such a weird thing