#or the cake was just ok but he loves me so much that he’s gonna make me feel like he really liked it 🥺
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How many TLG Outlander incorrect quotes have I done? Here’s more anyway
Sumu: I know over 200 ways to kill a man
Kuumwa: You could glue an open jar of rats to his face and then blowtorch the other half of the jar so the rats have to eat their way out through his face :)
Sumu: …..201
Alternatively
Kenge: I know over 200 ways to kill a man
Sumu: You could glue an open jar of rats to his face and then blowtorch the other half of the jar so the rats have to eat their way out through his face
Kenge: …..201
Cheezi: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake? One, two, three-
Cheezi and Chungu, in unison: Chocolate cake peanut butter frosting with chocolate chunks!
Goigoi: Our turn, Sumu! One, two, three- vanilla!
Sumu, deadpan: I've never had cake, what is cake.
Mzingo: Looking left cause you don’t treat me right
Janja: Looking right because you left
Reirei: Looking up cause you let me down
Kiburi: Looking down cause you fucked up
Jasiri: What is wrong with you guys
Janja: Hah! 69! You know what that means?
Cheezi: What?
Mzingo: That you're a child.
Chungu: HOW'D YOU GUESS MY IQ!?
Sumu: Can I be frank with you guys?
Goigoi: Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help.
Chungu: Can I still be Chungu?
Tamka: Shh, let Frank speak.
Kenge: Why are Shupavu and Njano sitting with their backs to each other?
Sumu: They had a fight.
Kenge: Then why are they holding claws?
Sumu: They get sad when they fight.
Janja: How did none of you hear what I just said?
Chungu: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.
Cheezi: I got distracted about halfway through.
Nne, as Tano nods: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.
(Royal Mjuzi au)
Kiburi: Are we really going to let Nduli keep Mwamba?
Neema: We kept Tamka.
Jasiri: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life
Mzingo: Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years!
Kiburi: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this!
Janja: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!
Reirei: My moral code, is that you?
Jasiri:
Jasiri: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk my mother left me but do you guys need a hug?
Tamka: I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff.
Wakali: I witnessed the dumb stuff.
Neema: I recorded the dumb stuff.
Nduli: I joined in on the dumb stuff.
Kiburi: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!!!
Janja: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.
Reirei: Janja no.
Kiburi: Mistlefoe.
Reirei: Please stop encouraging him.
Ucheshi: If you had to choose between Makuu and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose?
Kiburi: That depends, how much money are we taking about?
Makuu: Kiburi!
Ucheshi: 63 cents.
Kiburi: I'll take the money.
Makuu: KIBURI!!!
Kiburi: I trust Janja.
Reirei: You think he knows what he’s doing?
Kiburi: I wouldn't go that far.
Janja: Don't worry, I got a plan.
Reirei: Alright.
Janja: TraitorSayWhat?
Kiburi: Excuse me?
Janja: What?
Reirei:
Janja:
Janja: No wait-
Goigoi: Reirei, what do IDK, LY, and TTYL mean?
Reirei: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later
Goigoi: Ok, I love you too, I’ll just ask one of the kids.
Chungu: What if mayonnaise came in cans?
Cheezi: That would suck cuz you can’t microwave metal
Janja: Good morning to everyone except these two furbrains
Ucheshi: The real treasure was the memories we made along the way.
Makuu: I almost died.
Kiburi: That... was my favorite memory.
Reirei: I dare you to kiss the next person who walks into this room.
Janja: Screw that, I’m not kissing any of you.
*Jasiri walks in*
Janja: Fine, I’ll do it. Rules are rules you know.
Janja: I am so cool. I am an absolute Chad. I am the epitome of coolness and awesomeness—
Jasiri: Hi.
Janja: *melts down in a flustered heap of softness*
Kiburi: I'm not doing too well.
Pua: What's wrong?
Kiburi: I have this headache that comes and goes.
*Makuu enters the room*
Kiburi: There it is again.
*Kenge and Sumu are planning to break in somewhere*
Sumu: We need to distract the guards.
Kenge: Right.
Sumu: What are we gonna do?
Kenge: I'm going to break their elbows while you poke their eyes.
Sumu:
Kenge:
Sumu: Deal.
Human/Zootopia-esque au: trying to use the family/Kiburi’s computer
Dogo: “Password clue: Favorite child”? Oooh, ah, ouch…sorry, sis. This is awkward *types in their name, but gets denied* What?!
Kijana: Really??? *starts dramatically crying tears of joy* This moment is so much bigger than me! I would like to thank my parents and my manager— *gets denied*
OR
Tamka: “Password clue: Best friend”? Oooh, ah, ouch…sorry, man. This is awkward *types in their name, but gets denied* What?!
Nduli: Really??? *starts dramatically crying tears of joy* This moment is so much bigger than me! I would like to thank my parents and my manager— *gets denied* Aw :(
The Outlanders trying to draw Jasiri:
Janja: I think I made one eye bigger than the other
Mzingo: I was going for a feeling
Reirei, with a perfect drawing: Honestly, I can’t even draw a circle
Kiburi: *shows his picture*
Janja: Okay Kiburi, you just drew yourself
Kiburi: I like me
Jasiri: Dammit, Janja!
Janja: What?! It wasn't me!
Jasiri: Sorry, force of habit.
Dammit, Mzingo!
Mzingo: Not me either.
Jasiri: Oh... Then who set the Outlands on fire?
Njano: *whistles*
Janja: We need to get through this locked door. Reirei, give me your credit card.
Reirei: Here.
Janja, pocketing it: Thanks. Kiburi, kick down the door.
*The group is getting into the car*
Janja: I’m driving.
Cheezi, out of view: Shotgun!
Chungu, turning to face Cheezi: Aww! But you had it on the way here-
Everyone except Cheezi: WOAH-
Cheezi, holding a shotgun: No! I found a shotgun! And I want the front seat! *Pumps gun*
Fuli: What do you think Bunga will do for a distraction?
Kion: He’ll probably make a noise or throw a rock. That's what I would do.
*Explosions and several car alarms go off*
Kion:....Or he could do that.
Goigoi: And now it’s time for... WHAT’S. IN. TAMKA’S MOUTH?
Never try this game. Ever
Tamka: Agahhhagg
Nduli: oh oh oh! It’s those napkins from that one chicken wing place!
Tamka: Uh uh
Chungu: Oh! It’s the entire country of China!
Tamka: *spits the thing out* No! It’s a piece of dental cotton!
Cheezi: From five weeks ago?
Tamka: Uh huh!
Cheezi: And now it’s time for Janja’s poetry beat
Janja: Eh, I don’t wanna
Chungu: But it’s your thing!
Janja: No, it’s not!
Cheezi: Yeah, it is. That’s why it’s called “Janja’s”, emphasis on “Janja’s” poetry beat!
Janja: Why don’t one of you do it this time?
Chungu: You don’t like my poetry!
Janja: Sure, I do! Come on
Chungu: Okay.
I sat down on the ground today
Baobab ball I was to play
But instead of rolling north or south
How’d it end up in my mouth?
Janja: You’re right. That sucked
Chungu: Will Shakespeare my butt
Kiburi: (on one line) Hello?
Tamka (on the other line): Hey, what’s up?
Kiburi: I need a little help, can you come over?
Tamka: I can’t. I’m buying clothes
Kiburi: Alright, well hurry up and come over here
Tamka: I can’t find ‘em...
Kiburi: What do you mean you can’t find them?
Tamka: I can’t find them, there’s only soup
Kiburi: ...What do you mean “There’s only soup”
Tamka: It means there’s only soup
Kiburi:Well, then get out of the soup isle!
Tamka: Okay! You don’t have to shout at me! (walks into another isle) There’s more soup
Kiburi: What do you mean there’s more soup?!
Tamka: It means there’s just more soup
Kiburi: Go into the next isle
Tamka: (goes into the next isle) There’s still soup!
Kiburi: WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW?!
Tamka: I’M AT SOUP!
Kiburi: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE “AT SOUP”?!?!
Tamka: I MEAN I’M AT SOUP!
Kiburi: WHAT STORE ARE YOU IN?!
Tamka: I’M AT THE SOUP STORE!!
Kiburi: WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE?!?!?!
Tamka: FUCK YOU!!!!!
Kenge: I’m not worried about silly things like labels. Animals can call me whatever they want. They could even call me little…..
Kenge: NEVER CALL ME LITTLE!!!!!
(Nduli leans in towards a sleeping Tamka)
Nduli: Tamka..Tamka...Tam-zebra.
Tamka: (wakes up) Gimme the leg! I want the leg!
Makuu and Ucheshi: (staring into each other’s eyes)
Kiburi: (rips the leg off of a kill)
Makuu: We’re having a moment
Kiburi: I’m having a snack
Goigoi: The good news is I named my nickel “Phillip!”
Janja: What’s the bad news?
Goigoi: It’s a girl nickel! :D
Janja: YOU BET ME FOR A NICKEL?!
Cheezi: But it was a shiny nickel!
(Hodari saves Njano’s life)
Njano: Bro... 🥺
Hodari: Bro... 🥺
Kenge: Can you guys stop making out and go get the chimps?!
Neema: [Could I give Tamka a -2?]
Tamka: For what?
Neema: [Just for being you]
Jasiri: You assaulted a 94-year old animal!
Kenge: He sassed me
Mzingo: Ooh, you have some pie! Would you mind if I have a piece?
Janja: Uh, sure. (gives Mzingo a piece of pie)
Mzingo: Can you pass the cool hwhip?
Janja: What’d you say?
Mzingo: You can’t have a pie without cool hwhip!
J Cool hwhip?
M: Cool hwhip, yeah
J: You mean cool whip
M: Yeah, cool hwhip
J: Cool whip
M: Cool hwhip
J: Cool WHip
M: Cool hwhip
J: You’re saying it weird! Why’re you putting so much emphasis on the h?
M: What are you talking about? I’m just saying cool hwhip! You put cool hwhip on pie. Pie tastes better with cool hwhip
J: Say “whip”
M: Whip
J: Now say “cool whip”
M: Cool hwhip
J: Cool WHIP
M: Cool hwhip
J: COOL WHIP
M: Cool hwhip
Janja: YOU’RE EATING FUR!
Actor AU: Deleted scene with Scar and Jasiri
Director: Action!
Scar: Are you saying I’m stupid?
Jasiri: No…
Scar: Do I look. Stupid. To you?
Jasiri: *starts laughing* I’m sorry 😂😂
(Cut to next take)
Scar: Are you saying I’m stupid?
Jasiri: *starts wheezing* I’m sorry! *recomposes herself* I got it. No no, just do it again. I’m fine
(Cut to next take)
Scar: Are you saying I’m stupid?
Jasiri: *pointing* YES! *laughs*
Scar: This is the fifteenth take, I cannot work like this. I will be in my trailer…
Jasiri: I need a break
#damn long post#i have too many quotes that fit them dndbbdgd#a lot of these work in a zootopia/human au#i don’t think the outlanders are okay-#i had to do something with the actor au it was too fun#i don’t talk about mzingo too much so i wanted to include him more#tlg outlanders#the lion guard
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*paces the room*
So I just finished season 5!
So MUCH happened I swear going back to look at the episodes synopsis’ for this post I was like… wait that was in this season too?!? I stayed up ALL night TWICE watching this season because I just couldn’t turn it off! It’s crazy that people didn’t like this season (like vehemently didn’t like it at least on Reddit… BUT they say they don’t like s6 because its Buck centric and he “needs to be more of a background character” sooooo clearly I won’t read too into their nonsense)
ANYWAY this season is possibly one of my favorites! From the hackers the gps wrecks and tower scare, the zoo breakout (THE ZOO BREAKOUT OMG… THE ALPACAAAAAAAS! And Buck being scared LOL) to Jeffrey escaping and then Athena’s whole story line following! I was terrified for her and for Harry and ACK!!!!
Maddie’s PPD and leaving arc was so heartbreaking and frustrating at the same time! And I felt so bad for Chim (and Buck) and baby Jee!
OMG the homecoming parade crash and the mixup I was so Heartbroken for them! :(
Claudette… :/ hated her and her ending… but mostly her
Of course Lucifer (spn) shows up as an extremely bad guy but he wants to play dad of the year (ok the guy here at least is thinking of his kid more than himself… but still PARALLELS!)
MICHAEL AND DAVID! I hated to see them go! And that montage had me all teary eyed during one of my all nighters!
Toni’s little love story <3 and the girls from the oil spill! <3<3
Eddie’s panic attacks and leaving the 118 was so sad! But I get it… I also know he will be back because I came from season 7 *shrugs* so it wasn’t too sad, yanno?
I love that everyone still came together for Christmas tho, i was like poor Bobby and Athena </3
Madney reunion… sort of </3 but again…. I know how this ends lol. Also JJ and Kate reunion (criminal minds)
The kiss might be the one thing I truly disliked from the season because it doesn’t really do anything beyond being annoying.
WHY DOES EVERYONE USE BOBBY’S PAST AGAINST HIM WHEN THEY ARE ANGRYYYYYYYYYYYYY :(
Well I have a fear of sauna’s now (and stop signs… and exercising)
The mom that falls saving her daughters had me BAWLING!
Bobby and May’s relationship is everything to me! And ack I knew I didn’t like Jonah
I take back my original assumption of Buck having the worst luck. It’s Chimney. What the hell. Give this man a raise and a vacation… some amazing life insurance and some bubble wrap. How he is alive is beyond me!!
THE LAST EPISODE
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH <3
Toni getting married, and the drama about her missing Hen and Karen’s wedding. Buck’s face when Maddie texts Chim first. Bobby </3 was not ok, but EDDIE CAME THROUGH! And when he poured the whiskey out I was whooop whoooping out loud! THEN THE WEDDING I love Toni so much omg and everyone coming! PLUS no more Taylor :) hahahaha (sorry i just never liked her)
(Omg the maggots in the hair might have too the cake as the worst thing to happen… at least visually… for me)
SEASON SIX HERE I COME! You better be all about Buck like the pissy people on Reddit said you are! And y’all, send me strength for that mid season finale i have seen it dozens of times but this is gonna be different and I have never been so prepared to be unprepared for something in my life! O.o
#911#911 abc#911 fox#911 show#911 spoilers#911 season 5#911 fandom#118 firefam#bobby nash#athena grant#evan buckley#eddie diaz#hen wilson#chimney han#maddie buckley#911 cast#five days to the new episode you guys!#and I have a whole season plus half of the current one to keep me occupied
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Graduation Jitters
summary: You and Steve celebrate passing your final class
wc: 0.6k
warnings/tags: gender neutral reader (but let me know if you notice otherwise), established relationship, mostly fluffy i think, characters are each at least 22 here, no y/n
*********
The digital clock may as well have been analog the way you felt the seconds tick away. Your heart kept in time. Steve took longer than usual to return home from work. Anticipation filled your feet, lifting you from your seated position, now pacing in the living room. There was no use distracting yourself with TV or a book. Your mind raced with the news of your day.
The doorknob shook, pulling your attention from your thoughts. The door opened revealing your boyfriend. His eyes met yours, and a smile lit his face.
“Hi, baby,” he said. He closed the door with his foot, an arm staying behind his back.
“I did it,” you said. “I passed! I’m actually graduating! I’m getting my degree!” You couldn’t contain your excitement, the energy expelling from the balls of your feet as you all but skipped toward him.
Steve put his arm out for a hug. You gladly accepted, nuzzling into his chest. “I’m so proud of you.” He spoke quietly as if his message was only for you to hear. “I knew you could do it. Which is why I got you these.” He pulled his hiding arm around and revealed a bouquet of flowers.
“Steve, you shouldn’t have!” Your voice wobbled, and tears welled up in your eyes. Your sudden burst of emotion surprised both of you. You laughed despite yourself. “Sorry, sorry.”
He set the flowers down and pulled you even closer, lifting your chin to look up at him. “What’s wrong, baby?”
“Nothing, nothing at all. I’m—I’m just so thankful that you’re here with me.”
“Of course, I’m here. You didn’t think I’d just ditch you after all this time, did you?” He chuckled and wiped your tears from your cheek.
“I guess not. It’s just that…so much has changed. Nothing is how it was when I started. It was so hard, Steve.”
“I know. Which is why I know how much this means to you. I know how hard you’ve worked, even if I haven’t been there for all of it. I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere, ok? So, you better believe that I’ll be right there with your parents cheering you on when they call your name.”
You huffed out a breath you were holding in. “You’re pretty great, you know that?”
“I had a feeling,” he teased. His expression switched from smug to uneasy. “They do know about me, right? It’s one thing to introduce yourself to the parents, but for it to be a surprise—”
“Of course, they do!” you laughed. “You’ll do great. My mom will welcome you with open arms. My dad, well, he’ll do his best. I promise. Just don’t tell them that we live together because they don’t know that yet.” You winced at your own words, waiting for Steve’s response.
Steve’s face contorted to one of horror. “You’re joking, right? You didn’t think that would be necessary information?”
“They can piece it together when they get here.” You shrugged.
“What am I gonna do with you?” Steve asked, fondness painting his voice. He pulled you in for a kiss, feathery and light, but loving, nonetheless. “Oh, gosh, I almost forgot!”
“What is it?”
“Your other gift,” Steve smirked. “I’ll go set up your flowers. Go to my car in the backseat, and you’ll find a little treat.”
Your eyes widened as the smile beneath your nose grew. Without another word, you dashed out to his car. A “Congrats” cake sat in the backseat, and you smiled to yourself. You were so thankful to have such a thoughtful man in your life.
#steve harrington#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington fluff#steve stranger things#stranger things#steve harrington x gn!reader
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i need to draw o/ff characters again and post hcs abt them to my blog. oogoog
#i dont particularly like the popular hc that en/och eats his els/en. it feels weird to me for multiple reasons#KEEP IN MIND THIS IS ALL PERSONAL THINKINGS OK ok here i go#ik i said id post em on the blog but im abt to go to sleep so imma say it here#but like. mahybe im just crazy or looking too deep into things. but i dont see any reason for en/och = eats his els/en besides the fact#that hes fat. and like thats it from what i can rememebr.#like id ont. remember him saying any dialogue that would insinuate it??#OK hold on clarifying = eats them alive/eats their bodies and NOT just eating burnt ashes/sugar#OR it could also be something that like was thought of bc of the horror element of the game +#the zone is a zone that is like Heeyyyy everyone eats everyone here :) so obvs it could just be like a horror hc to go with the theme#or environment of the zone#so like obvs im not gonna like. be upset over ppl liking the hc like to most people it seems just canon to them#but i do not like it....not one bit. he WOULD gaslight and manipulate his workers. absoltuely. but he would NOT eat them alive.#i feel like en/och is too much of like...he has high standards for his foods (chef it up. he can make the fanciest of meals and the nicest#of cakes). so i feel like he'd be like. insulted like ummmmmm no lol that is NOT very presentable. and gross. put their ashes in it and#dress it up and maybe ill eats it then :] yk????#IDK. maybe im just thinking waayyyy too much into this. but i kinda dont care i love this game and i love en/och.#i dont need to fix him hes perfect as he is (manipulative and a cannibal but not like that way. ok?)#cant you let her win for once ?????#ok ok im done for now but for this game? my dear friends. i am ALWAYS open to talking about my thoughts#ow.file
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Man 🥺 I had a dream that it was James’ birthday, so I made him a cake and he really loved it 😭💕
#food tw#ren’s dream journal#lost in your eyes#it was a two layer cake; one layer vanilla and one chocolate#with chocolate buttercream between the layers and all around the cake#and everyone else at the party; which was some people I knew and some people from lost; was kinda. being mean about the cake shfkfl#I mean they were discussing it like I wasn’t there. saying things like ‘it’s ok but Claire’s birthday cake was better’#but James was just. scarfing it down and telling me it was the best cake he’s ever had afhkl#he ate like 3 big helpings and before I woke up he had gotten up to get some more adfhjkl#and I was just glowing with happiness because either he reeeeally liked it and that made me happy#or the cake was just ok but he loves me so much that he’s gonna make me feel like he really liked it 🥺#and either way it felt amazing!!#I was sitting across the table looking at him; catching his eye every once in awhile#and he’d shoot me a wink and a smile and my face would just go red ahfjfl#gosh in my dreams he really does love me so much 🥺💕#I feel so lucky..#ren speaks
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Hmmmmm I love being mentally ill
#manager told me yesterday 'i really need you to work on greeting people'#so i finally said smth about my anxiety#(i haven't said anything in the last few weeks he keeps bringing this up but i have told him a few months ago)#but i said basically 'i know and im trying but i have bad anxiety and its been getting worse the last few weeks'#and he said. pretty much. 'ok yeah i get it. just do it anyway tho.'#which is basically what he said before#like??? bro i would LOVE to just do it. just get over it and deal with it. that's not how it works tho#he was like yeah well you dont have to talk much just say hi welcome#YEAH MAN!!! maybe that would tell you how bad the anxiety is!!! bc ive been struggling with that!! that is apparently so simple and easy!!!#so he hasn't said anything yet today. not many customers have been in yet.#i asked one person who was looking at the case if they wanted anything#and ik he saw me do that#and someone else came in and i looked up and smiled and he said hi to me first and i said hi back#which is still not what im supposed to do lol but its a lot for me#but i dont think the manager saw that#so :)) apparently he stayed late yesterday so hes leaving early tomorrow#hey king why dont you leave early today#also. my ingredients are ordered but not here. so im just making stuff that hasnt been ordered#again. not what im supposed to do. but what else am i gonna do??????#ALSO. yesterday i thought i was running low on cake boards. so i ordered them. today i find them in the back#i went to take it off the order. they already bought them. whatever ill use them eventually#but that was why other stuff didn't get ordered soon enough bc i could've sworn there was more. then i realize there's not#so this time i assume there's not more. then there is. and now we're gonna have a bunch extra#WHATEVER!!!#i have to go back now ive been in the bathroom too long skfhks#she was a baker girl
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all u need is a platform x | ln4 smau
PAIRING: lando norris x fem love island contestant!reader
SUMMARY: y/n makes a one-off comment about lando norris being her type in a confessional, and the internet rolls with it all the way to lando norris' twitch stream.
A/N: just bc i love me some love island 😌
Love Island UK
Twittter
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yourusername
liked by yourbestfriend, landonorris, yourfriend and 105,830 others
yourusername alright guys, public voting is open! go, go, go!! make sure to vote for the person you want off your screens, so don't vote for y/n!!! tell your friends, family, everyone! we don't wanna see our girl go home anytime soon!! thanks u guys 🥰🥰
#LoveIsland
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username she's one of my favourite islanders🫶 stunning girl
landonorris so if we vote for her she comes OUT you say?👀
yourusername don't you dare🤣
username LMAOO LANDO U BETTER NOT SABOTAGE💀💀
username ugh she's so annoying she needs to stfu🙄 hope she goes home on friday
username he's in the likes👀 ohhh the show's just getting started I see🍿
username I've voted babes! (not y/n of course)
(liked by author)
username I'm sry but I'm gonna have to vote for my girl y/n BUT HEAR ME OUT it's bc there's a better man by the name of lando out here for her I think 😃
username sooo valid (I'm doing the same lmao)
landonorris 😊
yourusername uhm- you guys😭😭
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loveisland
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loveisland The public has voted, and that means goodbye to this firecracker! 🧨👋 By the looks of it, it seems Y/N might not need to do much searching for fish in the sea though... 👀
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username ok lando pack it up, jack fowler is in the likes😩
username ugh jack is so fine🫦
username LMAO NOT TOO MUCH ON MY BBY LANDO NOW😭
landonorris 🐠
username lmaooo ENOUGH
username help he's so real😭
username finally the bitch is gone
username uhm... chile anyways so
username ppl need to stop putting her up there with maura, amber and the lot cause she's absolutely nowhere close bffr. I rlly don't see the hype🙄
username she's literally the first to break 1 million followers lmao the hype is very much alive even if u don't wanna see it😌
username yeah and how many of those are lando fans hm? exactly
username oooh u sound bitter babe xx
username lando and y/n better freaking date soon tho cause if I find out this was all in vain I'm literally gonna flip😭
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thesun
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thesun Popular ex-Love Island contestant, Y/N L/N, has arrived in the UK to a warm welcome at Heathrow Airport, where she was greeted by family, friends, and a horde of fans.
Speculation about a potential romance between her and the famous F1 driver, Lando Norris, has been rife on the internet for the past few weeks. Many believe this could be the reason for her sudden dumping from the island, as fans allegedly orchestrated her exit in hopes of pairing the two together.
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username lando can do so much better than some trashy reality tv star 😑
username i got a pic with her!! she was such a sweetheart❤️
username im so excitedddd omg
username let's see what happens now then...😁
username 👀👀
username omg why are ppl still talking about her smh
username i voted for her so it better pay off🙏 i'm looking at u lando
username me and you both 🤝
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yourusername
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yourusername back in essex and straight to catching up with my lovelies xxx
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username lando norris dating announcement when 😃
username lmaooo her bed in the villa ain't even cold yet😭😭
username real! he should've picked her up from the airport smh chivalry is so dead😞
username telling you all about lando i hope
username and the fact that it's all lando's fault that you were voted off 😋
username LOL DON'T PIN THIS ON HIM NOW
landonorris welcome back y/n!
username loool what happened to ur free shoulders 🤣🤣
username JACK FOWLER STAY TF BACK 🤺🤺🤺 we're team lando + y/n here!!!
username IKTR😌
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f1gossipofficial Lando Norris has been spotted once again in the company of ex-Love Island contestant Y/N L/N, marking the fourth time in the past month the pair has been seen together in London. This time, fans observed them enjoying dinner together, appearing particularly close as they laughed and had their arms around each other.
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username real ones know y/n from the first ep of love island😌🫶
username I've been summoned🫡
username love island is bottom of the barrel trash smh anyone who enters that show is a dumbass
username lol okay.... anyway they look cute together🥰
username ahh u guys remember when y/n was in the villa and we'd all wait for lando's tweets during love island🥹 those were the times
username i wanted them together but now it's like when you watch a film in the cinema and then reach its end like what now?🧍♀️
username fanpage babe. u make a fan page trust me x
username ew keep her away from lando🤢
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username AHHH FINALLY IVE BEEN PRAYING FOR THIS🤩
username what do u wanna bet she only has 2 gcses🙄
username well that's a whole lot better than lando's 0 🤣
username @/yourusername i need ur game card RIGHT NOW cause i want mason mount 😩
yourusername all u need is a platform x
username brb gonna apply for love island now🏃♀️💨
landonorris I think you missed a few spots baby
yourusername lol xxx
username oh he's whipped lmaooo
username WHO VOTED Y/N OUT?? WE FUCKING DID ITTTT
username present🫡
username the way we had a vision and look at us now😌 we love to see it
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yourusername ly bby xxx
1:06 ──ㅇ────────── 4:11
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OK you know what, if we're gonna talk about Bake Off then fuck it, let's do this.
It used to be this wholesome, lovely show! We used to watch it for the bakers! And the learning! And the light banter and occasional bit of coy innuendo! What happened?
Channel 4 happened. When they bought the show they made a number of changes, most of them Not Good™️. Not just in the sense of them resulting in a lot of 😬 and 🫠 moments, but in the sense of how they changed the show's purpose, atmosphere, and brand.
Look, I know most people are just like, "whatever, it's just a baking show," and yeah, sure. But it's one of the UK's most successful TV exports, and where it once shifted the tone of reality competition to being wholesome and supportive of contestants, it's since moved towards creating tension at the contestants' cost. So aside from the fact that most people watching it signed up to watch a nice show, it has also shifted the goalposts of what that even means. And that, lovelies and gentlefolk, is some bullshit.
I decided to break my rant analysis into four main parts: theme weeks, the hosts, the judges, and the bakers. Let's get to it!
Theme Weeks:
If you watch Bake Off, you know the show's always had a specific theme for each week. The staples that come up in most seasons are:
cake
biscuit
bread
pudding/dessert
pastry
patisserie
Less common but consistent are things like caramel and chocolate week.
Then there are the fun episodes! When GBBO was on the BBC, this started out with things tea week, tarts, pies, tray bakes, basically little tangents still focused on emphasizing specific baking skills. In Series 6 (still on the BBC) they had their first nation-focused theme week with French week -- fairly innocuous given that a lot of patisserie is French, France and England share much more culture than either cares to admit [Norman Flag dot gif], and it was a nice change from watching Paul make the bakers do recipes that involved boiling things while talking about how wonderful boiled doughs are (are they, Paul? Are they?).
The show kept mixing it up with innocuous themes like advanced dough and alternative ingredients weeks, European cakes, Victorian week, batter week, and botanical week. And while it was frustrating to watch Paul Hollywood mispronounce things like the Hungarian Dobos Torta and lecture bakers on babka when he clearly knew nothing about it (or about Jewish baking in general, go off Past Me), the show's general attitude was that the judges had their own opinions, which were separate from the immutable facts around the chemistry of baking (more on this later) and shouldn't affect how bakers are judged.
After the show moved to Channel 4, the number of themed weeks increased and more of them focused on specific countries. In 6 seasons on the BBC, there were only two country-focused theme weeks, and in 5 seasons on Channel 4 there have been five. And while they've also had themes like vegan baking, roaring 20s, the 1980s, spice week, etc. the show has really started to go hard on exoticizing other cultures in outright disrespectful and racist ways. There's been Italian and Danish week, German, Japanese (it wasn't, it was East Asian week), and now Mexican week (which doesn't touch on interspersed Jewish bakes that didn't get a theme week, like versions of bagels and babka set as technical challenges that were borderline hate crimes and mansplained by a guy who has no idea how to make either and once wrote in a cookbook that challah was traditionally eaten during Passover). Each time the hosts played up the theme with racist bits and jokes that can be used as evidence in court if your case is "why should shows with scripted content have a professional writing staff."
Which touches on other issues the show has now...
The Hosts:
When GBBO was on the BBC, the show was hosted by ✨Mel Giedroyc✨ and ✨Sue Perkins✨. They encouraged the bakers! They'd hold stuff for them sometimes! They were interested in them! If a baker had a breakdown, they would start singing copyrighted material to render the footage unusable! When the show moved to Channel 4, they left, though I'm not unconvinced that Channel 4 offered them impossible to accept contracts to force them out so they could rebrand the show. They replaced them with Sandy Toksvig and Noel Fielding. Sandy was a lovely host in the vein of Mel and Sue, and she and Noel had a relatively sweet rapport, but she left a few seasons ago and was replaced by Matt Lucas.
Noel Fielding is mostly known for his quirky brand of comedy, a sort of British Zooey Deschanel who's goth from the neck up, an upperclass British gay divorcee from the neck down, and basically an early 60s Beatle re: trousers. Matt Lucas has almost definitely never watched a single episode of GBBO and his most redeeming quality is his thinly veiled contempt for Paul Hollywood.
The two treat the baking tent as their personal playground. Far from the supportive attitude of Mel and Sue, they tend to get in the bakers' way during the most stressful moments, especially when they try to do hilarious "comedy" bits (I can't not put that in quotes) like Noel's talking wooden spoon thing, or Matt talking over Noel to do time calls. During theme weeks like Japanese and Mexican week, they do culture-specific bits that are both racist ("just Juan joke" and "is Mexico a real place?") and unsurprising, given that both Matt and Noel did blackface on their respective sketch shows and absolutely could and should have known better because it was already the current fucking century.
All this to say, there's now a separation between the bakers and the hosts, as if they're on different shows. The hosts are doing their own thing and the bakers are doing GBBO. The show has gotten meaner to the bakers, and the hosts aren't there to support them anymore, they're just there to be comic relief. Because when you refocus your show on stressing the bakers the fuck out, you need a forced laugh I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.
The Judges:
First of all, a sincere congratulations to Paul Hollywood who managed to squeeze I jUsT cAmE bAcK fRoM mExIcO aNd YeT sTiLL pRoNoUnCe PiCo De GaLLo As 'PiKa De KaLLa' and I aM aN eXpErT oN s'MoReS wHiCh aRe MaDe WiTh DiGeStiVe BiScUiTs AcCoRdiNg tO mE, aN eXpErT oN s'MoReS, just two in a giant pile of astoundingly wrong hot takes, into a short enough time span that they all aired within Liz Truss's term as Prime Minister. A true man of accomplishments.
In the interest of fairness, I need to preface this with a disclaimer that, due to the fact that I've been watching Bake Off for most of its run, I'm biased. Specifically, I can't stand Paul Hollywood's smarmy, classist, egomaniac ass because he's proven time and again he's more interested in looking smart than actually knowing what he's talking about. Since the show moved to Channel 4, they've changed the occasional handshake Paul would give bakers to the HoLlYwOoD hAnDsHaKe™️. It's gone from being an emphasis of someone's skill to a goal, a reward, and one that emphasizes the judges' place above the bakers.
The judges used to function as teachers, imparting their skills and insights to the bakers. When the show was on the BBC, the voiceover leading to a judging would focus on the bakers' work being finished, saying how it will now be evaluated based on their skill and how well they met the brief. The voiceovers now, on Channel 4, focus on the judging (literally saying something along the lines of, "the bakers will now be judged by Prue and Paul"). There is a clear distinction Channel 4's producers have made, to mark that the show is now about whether or not the judges approve, not whether the brief was understood and executed well. On the BBC, it was irrelevant whether the judges liked a particular flavor, as long as the bake was well-made. Now, the bakers are expected to know the judges tastes and cater to them, which is frankly bullshit. A judge doesn't have to like a flavor to know whether or not it was executed well, ie. is it carrying a bake and was it meant to etc.
The judges have been turned into a brand. Cynically, Channel 4 knows that by building them up and focusing the show more on them, they can exploit their image more for profit. In the process, they've become much more biased and their own biases have come out as well. Most recently in the flaming dumpster fire that was Mexican Week, Paul Hollywood tried to intimidate a baker by telling them he had just gotten back from Mexico (which must have been a fruitful learning trip if he couldn't even learn how to pronounce pico de gallo correctly). Where do I even start with this? Here's an amateur baker from England (the show specifically casts middle and lower middle class bakers for the most part??) who likely can't afford trips to Mexico, who lives in a country with incredibly limited access to Mexican cuisine, who is expected not only to understand the cooking and baking traditions of a completely different culture but to do so well enough to play with it and do something creative with it. On top of which, one of the judges is now using his privilege of traveling halfway around the world as some kind of leverage, as if this were a bar that any amateur British baker could clear.
Prue, meanwhile, has openly asserted her biases against cultural flavors and textures, prioritizing her own personal preferences over them, as if they were in any way relevant to the skills and knowledge necessary to execute the tasks she sets to the bakers. She has also been consistently elitist, criticizing bakers for choices they made that were clearly informed by their experiences within income brackets that are too low and foreign for Prue to comprehend. She once had a go at a baker on a Christmas special because his Christmas dinner themed bake didn't have a turkey, even though it was clear from the stories he shared of his own Christmases that his family likely couldn't afford one. "It's not really Christmas dinner without a turkey," Prue said into the camera angrily while sitting on a chair made of live orphans and telling the ghost of Christmas Future to come back when he had another museum gift shop necklace for her to round out her collection.
The show is no longer about which baker has the best skills. It's become about which mortal can appease the gods of Mount Olympus, ie. the judges.
The Bakers:
Remember when the show was about them? Channel 4 doesn't! Because this is a reality competition show, the bakers are chosen both based on their skills, as well as cast-ability. They're cast as characters, distinct from each other, from different areas, age groups, ethnicities. All of them are amateurs. All of them are middle or lower middle class. They've ranged from college students to supermarket cashiers to prison wardens to scientists.
Something I noticed when the show moved to Channel 4 is that the baker who goes home in the first week is always wildly behind the rest in skills. I have no proof of this other than my eyeballs and deductive reasoning skills, but I think that Channel 4 deliberately casts a ringer each season who they think will be an easy send-off in the first week, just to get the audience's feet wet.
Anyway, like I said, this show used to be about the bakers - about them building skills and learning, and having walked into the tent with a self-taught foundation and understanding of the processes and chemical reactions involved in baking. When the show was on the BBC, the end of each round had some (often brief) moments of tension - will they finish in time? Will they get their bakes on the plate before time is up? Did they forget to add sugar to their batter and only remember at the last minute? In the end, they usually managed to finish and we'd all breathe a sigh of relief and think, yeah! You go, Bakers Who I'm Rooting For!
Now, on Channel 4, the end of round drama has been stretched to be so much longer that they've composed extra music for it. The bakers often seem out of their depth, whether because the instructions for the technical challenge are too vague (bake a lemon meringue pie??? As if anyone in the UK under the age of 60 has had one in the last decade???), or because they were expected to bake something that required a more than a basic foundation they weren't told of. Often it seems like they just aren't given enough time, a tactic used by reality competition shows to manipulate contestants into giving the cameras more dramatic content. On top of all this, the hosts get in their way, instead of helping them plate their bakes. As has been pointed out before, when everyone fails the challenge, the real failure lies with whoever set it.
In conclusion:
The show no longer exists to teach the bakers - and the audience - skills or knowledge. It now manipulates contestants for dramatic effect and prioritizes showing conflict over wholesome content. Channel 4 sees the bakers as social media content they can churn out season after season, and don't care about them because in a few months there'll be a new batch to exploit. Meanwhile, the judges are also out of their depth, co-opting recipes from other cultures and butchering them horrendously, while the camera gives them nothing but status as they hold bakers to the expectation that they learn how to make things very much the wrong way. If you saw any of the tweets about Mexican or Japanese week, or read my post on how Paul Hollywood isn't allowed to go near babka ever again, you'll understand.
So what would fix all this? Scrap the current judges and the hosts altogether. Bring back Mel and Sue, and replace the judges with expert bakers who have a love of their craft and want to share it with others. The draw of GBBO used to be its warmth and comfort - if Channel 4 isn't going to start its own version of Master Chef For Bakers, then it needs to stop trying to find a balance of how it can insert that vibe into GBBO. It can't. That's not a thing. Stop trying.
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PAC: “i just wanna be your favorite…” ⭐️🎀💍
• which fictional characters is your person most like?
disclaimer ✩: 18+ mature themes. take what resonates, leave what doesn't. i also just wanna say thank y'all from the bottom of my heart for the support <3 it means so much to me. enjoy!
pile 1 💸 —
"i can't wait 'til i get you on the floor, good-looking. hey, going hot, so hot, just like an oven. and ow! burned myself, i just had to touch it. but it's so fire, and it's all mine."
hiii pile 1! let me start off by saying your person is one fineeee m'fer! they look straight out of an old hollywood movie. suit & tie by justin timberlake ft. jay z won't stop playing in my head lol, their vibe is literally that song. they're gonna love taking you out to fun events and showing you off to people hehe i heard "trophy wife." this isn't in a superficial way by any means, they just really love how you look and how bright your personality shines. you have a mesmerizing appearance and an extraordinary personality to match. i feel like your eyes or their eyes is another main focus that will garner lots of compliments. ok, wow. back to the topic at hand! the characters i channeled were jay gatsby from ‘the great gatsby’, lon hammond from ‘the notebook’, and napoleon solo from ‘the man from U.N.C.L.E.’ now of course your person may not exactly look like these characters but the ✨vibes✨ are very much there. you're gonna have the time of your life with this person lol they are so damn fun and charismatic. i can hear them teasing you and and saying "don't be a brat, baby." with a sly smirk on their face LOL they're gonna make you feel so tingly and giddy inside ahhh. i feel like it was hard for them to settle down before you came into their life pile 1. they wanted to have their cake and eat it too. i mean this person could honestly have whatever they want, but you actually make them work for this relationship and they're not used to that. people (romantically and platonically) just fall for them at the drop of a dime because they are just so damn sexy, and it doesn't help that they're good with their words and actions. i just heard smooth operator by sade and ego by beyoncé at the same time lol this person is seriously a charmer! they can't help it though, they just love to socialize and have a good time. on the flip side, this sometimes weighs them down. the constant attention and socializing can make them feel overwhelmed at times. i'm thinking of ‘the great gatsby’ when jay kept throwing elaborate parties and inviting thousands of people to attend them, so that he could eventually catch daisy's attention. i'm hearing "when you're happy, they're happy!" random thought, but for some of you…your person could be from the UK/have a thick british accent. i also feel like your person is funny af, they've got jokes for dayssssss. they honestly take nothing serious…like if either of you had a bad day at work or just in general, TRUST that they will find a way to turn it around. like it'll actually amaze you how they just go through life vibing and you'll just be like how??? and i can hear them saying "i don't know, babe. i just got it like that." lol they're so cocky (but in an annoyingly hot way) you will never be able to stay mad at them. like if you were being petty and giving them the silent treatment for whatever reason…i can see you getting ready and they'd come up all close behind you, arms around your waist, kissing your neck and they'd be like "you still mad at me, baby?" and your brain would literally malfunction like €|>~€\€,\!|!]€]€YESNOYESNO.!:!,&:’ i'm crying this is hilarious. never a dull moment with them, pile 1. i'm telling ya!
other channeled messages:
theme from new york, new york by frank sinatra, gene kelly, tuxedo, her way by partynextdoor, sophisticated, expensive cologne, j'adore dior, pearly white teeth, cartier watch, swarovski crystals, meet me on the dance floor, babydoll by mariah carey, british, sprinter by dave & central cee, love island, damson idris, i'll make it happen, ballin’ by partynextdoor, diamonds are a girl's best friend
pile 2 💣 —
“who wants that perfect love story anyway, anyway. cliché, cliché, cliché, cliché. who wants that hero love that saves the day, anyway cliché, cliché, cliché, cliché.”
okayyyy pile 2, i see y'all with the bonnie and clyde vibes! let's buckle down and get serious though. i already feel like your person is very misunderstood. they might've had a rough childhood growing up or possibly struggled with connecting to their family. they feel like they fuck things up? they kinda think to themselves "why should i even try to be in a relationship, i'm a mess. i mess things up." it's actually sad because i feel like they're a great person (very soft and gentle) and when things go left/don't work out they immediately blame themselves because the blame was always put on them as a child. i'm hearing it's a "trauma response" :( aw pile 2 i feel like crying…your person really takes it on the chin and keeps it pushing. i can see them sitting on porch steps, gazing at the skyline and kinda just shrugging saying "that's just life i guess." they tend to self-sabotage before things even go into motion but before you two meet, they'll be pushed to confront their problems/fears. they have this cool, in-control, idgaf type of vibe on the outside but internally it's the opposite. i'm hearing pretty little fears by 6lack ft. j cole wow pile 2 they'll really have a soft spot for you. the characters i channeled were damon salvatore from ‘the vampire diaries’, luke glanton from ‘the place beyond the pines’ and tyler durden from ‘fight club’ which are some pretty complex personalities whew. your person is a loner by default, they feel like they really can't depend on many people. they've been left out in the cold so many times it's like they had no other choice but to become independent fast. when they meet you, pile 2…you're going to awaken them. i'm hearing j cole's verse in pretty little fears, “i'm loving your light, vulnerable. letting your guard down is honorable. 'specially when the past ain't been that friendly to you, but…there's magic in that.” it's gonna be insane to them how someone like you could display so much love, care and devotion towards them. i can see them keeping a really cute picture of you (or you two together) in their wallet/bag and just staring at it with a small smile on their face. you give them so much hope pile 2. they never knew they were capable of such strong emotions; love, happiness, joy. i can see you two laughing about something…you have this big grin on your face and when you turn your head to look at them, you just see them with a dopey smile on their face and a glint in their eyes just staring at you in awe. and you're just like "what?" but you don't even know how much you really mean to them in that moment. I'M ABOUT TO BURST INTO TEARS PLS I CAN'T. they're not used to anything stable, but you give them hope and anticipation for their future…with you. y'all are going to have to have so many enlightening, deep and forward-thinking conversations. i see them holding your hand and kissing your knuckles, taking random drives at night together while blasting music and going to the movies and talking/debating afterwards about what you hated and what you loved. k i'm crying, bye!
other channeled messages:
west coast by lana del rey, west side, successful relationship, turning tables by adele, cigarettes out the window by tv girl, well my boyfriend's in a band, ultraviolence album, someone like u (interlude) by ariana grande, toxic upbringing, scorpio moon, aries, smoking weed, american psycho, it's a forever thing
pile 3 🐚 —
“every little thing you do got me feeling some type of way. when you gimme that thunder you make my summer rain.”
welcome to your reading pile 3! idk why i wanted to say pile 333 hehe let's take that as a sign that you're about to meet your person soon. your person is so easy-going…like their energy feels so carefree and warm; like a nice summer breeze (i feel like some of you that chose this pile watch/really love the summer i turned pretty) i can see your person adjusting their sunglasses and saying "i'm just happy to be here." they're such a vibe lol. ok and why did i just randomly hear "no you're cute jeans." their sense of humor is so sjhfjdjcjdsn y'all are gonna have a lot of inside jokes together; internet memes especially. that "i'm sorry, i'm just in a silly goofy mood" shemar moore video just popped up in my head LMFAOOOO your person is hilarious pile 3. i channeled johnny storm from ‘fantastic four’, chad meeks-martin from ‘scream vi’, stefan salvatore from ‘the vampire diaries’ and conrad fisher from ‘the summer i turned pretty’ which are all pretty different but i see the vision pile 3…i see the vision. i feel like your person has just gotten back to themselves, because for awhile they weren't this upbeat and silly. i feel like this has to do with a past hurt/betrayal from either a friend or an ex-lover…that person took them for granted and made them feel small. i just randomly heard "katherine pierce" so maybe that person was very sneaky and never had good intentions in the first place. when they're with you though, they feel like a moth drawn to a flame. best friend by 50 cent just came to mind, "if i was your best friend, i want you 'round all the time. (i want you 'round me all the time) girl, i'll be your best friend if you promise you'll be mine (girl, promise you'll be mine)." i see you both posting funny photo dumps of you two together on instagram/instagram stories. i feel like y'all will be a PDA couple, and even if you aren't one of those type of people that likes all that…they're definitely gonna make you so happy that people visibly see the love between the two of you. i can see them kissing the side of your head, you slightly leaning into them…them giving you their hoodie/jacket to wear when you're cold. it's subtle things like that 🥹 so so so cute. you two have a very sacred, beautiful and divinely protected relationship. your person will be very generous with their time, money and love when it comes to you pile 3.
other channeled messages:
there goes my baby by usher, one in a million by ne-yo, connie baby, it's your world i'm just living in it, positions by ariana grande, unlock it by charlie xcx ft. kim petras & jay park, right my side by nicki minaj ft. chris brown, long walks on the beach, forever boy, vintage camera/digital camera, breakin’ my heart (pretty brown eyes) by mint condition, taylor swift, peter parker
pile 4 🌹—
“moment of honesty. someone's gotta take the lead tonight, who's it gonna be? i'm gonna sit right here and tell you all that comes to me. if you have something to say, you should say it right now.”
heyyy pile 4. i'm kinda stunned rn cause your person is sooooooooo captivated by you. like they wanted to skip all the bullshit and get right into it, and honestly…i #respect it. they think you're an absolute badass, you handle tough situations with so much grace. i'm hearing "you're better than me." lol they play no games pile 4, especially when it comes to you! i'm hearing that you've been through a lot, and it hasn't been easy for you to get to the point in your life that you're at now. they just wanna kiss you and make everything better. kiss it better by rihanna just started playing, "kiss it, kiss it, better baby." yeah your person is sensual af pile 4, it's givingggg taurus vibes. this is random af but i feel like they really love your back? if you wear a backless top or a backless dress, they will go absolutely FERAL. like fingers ghosting down your spine, their lips kissing down your neck…and don't get me started on the eye contact. their gaze is INTENSE. i’m hearing lyrics from nobody by selena gomez, "no kiss, no lips, no feel, no rush can keep me high, i swear no one…can love me like you do. can love me like you do, no." the characters i channeled were tobias eaton from ‘divergent’ and anakin skywalker from ‘star wars prequel trilogy’ which is so on brand. those 2 did not play about tris and padmé, ok?! you are their whole world pile 4. if it's not you, they don't want it. they feel so relaxed around you…like they can finally breathe. i can see them standing in a serious stance (obviously tense af) pondering about something and you just come behind them and wrap them in a big bear hug and they just…melt. they finally take that deep breath that they didn't even realize they were holding in for so long. they usually keep their feelings to themselves, but you create such a great safe space for them to be so open, honest and vulnerable; and vice versa. i'm also hearing that they are a very hands-on type of person, so whatever you need done/fixed, they sure as hell will find a way to do it for you. i can also see you two chilling/relaxing together a lot. don't get me wrong this person will always find something for you two to do, but there's something about that downtime (watching a movie while cuddled up with you on the couch, spending time with you and your loved ones/friends or taking a late night drive with you) that makes them think to themselves, "damn i really love life." 😮💨 you've got them locked in pile 4. it's so sweet & amazing.
other channeled messages:
1 of 1, peppers by lana del rey ft. tommy genesis, skywalker by miguel ft. travis scott, adore by cashmere cat ft. ariana grande, it's us against the world baby, 90210, pisces, dream guy, sauvage cologne, miss dior, sagittarius rising, virgo's groove by beyoncé, 1:11, best i ever had (remix) by drake & nicki minaj, all i want is you by miguel ft. j cole, bouquet of flowers, tennis bracelet, wild thoughts by dj khaled ft. rihanna & bryson tiller, cpr by summer walker
#pac#pac reading#love pac#pick a card#love reading#intuitive reading#tarot reading#pick a pile#energy reading#tarot pac#pick a card reading#p1utofairy
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࿔*:･ 𝐎𝐁𝐄𝐘 𝐌𝐄 — 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐏 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐀𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐄𝐏 ࿐
notes — [ mdni / 18+ ], fem reader, pet names, dirty talk.
𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐑 takes it very seriously when you can't sleep. "lucifer, i'm fine, is this really necessary?" he rubs your feet as you sip on the tea he made you, just a little honey and cream the way you like. "yes," he states matter-of-factly, "you aren't feeling well," he frowns, "i wish you'd tell me what's on your mind." the tea is making you a little more relaxed, "it just gets to me sometimes, luci," you pause, "seeing everyone fawn over you at RAD." he sighs, halting his ministrations on your feet, "it's only because i'm in charge, they think they'll benefit if they befriend me," he looks at you with all the love in the world, "it's you i really want, that won't change."
𝐌𝐀𝐌𝐌𝐎𝐍 is the reason you can't sleep, he's pissed you off with one of his get-rich-quick schemes again, and the argument you had before turning the lights out is enough to have you ruminating, thinking about the things he's said to you. you wonder, will he ever grow more responsible? although he seems to be sleeping soundly, mammon is contemplating the same things—why does he keep disappointing you? he wants to be better, for you. "hey, ya sleeping?" if you're awake, he's hoping you'll be open to talking. "i'm sorry, i know yer mad, but i'm gonna be more responsible from now on, gotta make you my wife someday, i wanna take care of you, please let me."
𝐀𝐒𝐌𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐔𝐒 naturally, thinks sex is the answer when you can't sleep. he'll slip his hand around the back of your hair and pull you in, immediately slipping his tongue into your mouth. he's a bit of a pervert, so he doesn't waste time in asking you if what he's doing is alright, "this ok, love? let me help you sleep," he nibbles on your bottom lip as you nod, urging him to continue. "i'll fuck you to sleep, let me please you, you and your beautiful body. . ." he mutters to himself, trailing a hand down your stomach before slipping his fingers under your panties, "you'll only have good dreams tonight, honey, i promise."
𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐋𝐙𝐄𝐁𝐔𝐁 has never told you before, but he always waits until you fall asleep before he lets himself drift off. he just likes to know you're safe and comfortable before he can relax, and seeing you tucked under his arm, looking so peaceful since he is the one protecting you, is worth more to him than any gourmet cuisine. however, when you can't sleep, he's naturally excited to share his favorite snacks with you—cookies and cakes, probably far too much sugar for a late-night meal but it honestly does make you feel a little better. "see? i told you," he smiles and snuggles into you, "you're feeling better now, i can tell."
#— love notes: [obey me] ୧ ‧₊#obey me x reader#obey me x mc#lucifer x reader#mammon x reader#obey me smut#asmodeus x reader#beelzebub x reader#obey me fluff#obey me x you#obey me x y/n#obey me headcanons
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hi !! just curious because i was looking at your adventure time episode guide and i love hearing other peoples adventure time takes !! how come you don't like finn's characterisation in together again?
I've talked about it before here and here!
But also I'm gonna say more and share some art I did in 2021 for a rewrite comic that I never got around to doing
So again to reiterate: Adventure Time is usually VERY good at making it feel like time passes, even when you're not watching. It's something about what they don't show that tells you everything you need to know.
Together Again did not do this.
It really really felt like they were avoiding showing Finn as an adult, as if they wanted to leave his post-show life ambiguous. Which, now that Fionna and Cake has shown us literally that, it makes Together Again feel even more wrong?? Like. imagine you have to pick a moment from your life that represents You™ the most. Together Again said that Finn, after living his whole life and dying as an old man, feels most represented by how he was at 17. I do not buy this. I am 25, and I cannot fathom identifying by my 17 year old self. I was a completely different person then, I was still cooking. I can imagine most people feel the same. And ok, so maybe Finn DOES for some reason feel stuck at 17? Explain to me why!! What needed to happen to him that made him feel that way?
And before you just say "it's because Jake died," there's still too much that was left out. How old was Finn when Jake died? What was Finn like, at that point? What else had they accomplished? What was he doing at the time that was on the forefront of his mind? Where/with who did they spend most of their time? Where were they living after the treehouse got destroyed?
It was like,,, it was like the story Together Again actually wanted to tell was about Finn's grief, and how poorly he copes, and how too much of his identity is tied to Having Jake, and how he struggles to move on. But that's not the story we got. I honestly think-- as interesting as it was-- everything with New Death and Tiffany and Lich just did a disservice to the focus, which was Finn trying to get over Jake.
I think Together Again should have gone like this:
Finn and Jake had always planned that whoever died first would wait in the dead world for the other to die so the two of them could reincarnate. Jake dies first. Jake would be able to "watch over" Finn as he lives the rest of his life, so Jake wouldn't miss Finn as much as vice versa, since he'd feel like he's still there with him.
Eventually, Finn dies.
Finn's appearance would change with his emotional state. I thought it'd be interesting to show different phases of his life through the stages of grief.
There'd be a room where they could watch Finn's memories. Finn would walk Jake through the events of his life. We SEE exactly how Finn dealt with grief, with heartbreak, with love, with friends, with community. All the good and all the bad.
By the end of it, Finn is quiet.
"Jake... when we reincarnate, will we.. lose all of this?"
"Well, do you remember anything from any of your other past lives?"
"No.. But that's the point. I don't want to forget you."
Finn, despite their promise, despite Jake waiting for him all this time, declines reincarnating. He doesn't want to move on, because that would mean forgetting everything. He wants to say with Jake!! He JUST got Jake back!!
“What if— in the future— what if they forget about us? What if they don’t know about all the stuff we did?”
We see Ooo in its current state. It’s changed, but it’s clearly been affected by the two of them. Every person they’ve saved, every civilization they helped build, every hero they’ve inspired. They’ve left their touch everywhere.
“They’ll know,” Jake says with certainty. “We’ll know.”
We see the future, with Shermy and Beth. We see the Finn Sword, and BMO with all their old belongings. Everything stays, but it still changes. Will happen, happening, happened. These have always been the themes of the show.
They reincarnate, together.
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OK but now I want to know who you consider the "most" and "least" bratty of all the characters. Like a tier list from "most" bratty ro "least" bratty.
I have a vague idea of what my tier list would look like, but I'm very curious on how you would create yours!
a/n — OMG THIS IS LITERALLY SUCH A GOOD IDEA. I’m gonna go from least bratty to brattiest though because like… suspense?
Also only doing characters on my list and not including Rosie or Mimzy because.. i’m literally stumped. I tried, and i’m stumped.
ok so charlie is not bratty at all like, let’s be for real. The most trouble she’ll give you is saying like “oh, I have more work to do!” but she doesn’t put up much of a fight.
Sir pentious is definitely not a brat, that guy lives to please. He will not dare do anything to cause degrading words, he’d rather die for a third time.
I feel like Vaggie wouldn’t put up much of a fight either but I think she definitely would have trouble letting go and relaxing. Like it’s not the concept of a lack of power she’d bitch about just more like vulnerability issues?
Lute would be the same way. Like the only thing she would really be a brat about is if this scenario involves a sinner reader. Because then she’d be higher up but she definitely has no problems with being taken care of that would be super comforting.
Alright so Lucifer is a tough one because on one hand, he’s the king of hell and can be incredibly smug, but on the other hand he literally craves validation so hard he’ll cry over it. The only reason he ranks over Lute is because I think he’s a little snobby and it would show.
Husk would also def have trouble letting go because I think he usually gives in the bedroom. So yeah maybe a couple remarks and protests here and there but once he goes into subspace he shuts up.
Now that we are getting into more bratty characters, Alastor would definitely piss you off on purpose. Only because he thinks it’s entertaining to see you mad and he especially loves it when you fuck the shit out of him later for it. But I also think he really wants approval especially from a femdom because mommy issues.
Velvette I think would definitely be a brat. Like she’s ordering people around all day, yes of course it would transfer. She definitely pouts and whines when she doesn’t get her way with you but like you know how to please her so she goes into subspace after a while.
This guys a wild one. Vox is such a fucking brat it’s not even funny. He has this terrible need for power and he always falls flat on his face because let’s be real he was not meant to dom. He will try his hardest though and when he inevitably fails, he will whine like a bitch about it.
This guys not even on my character list but I felt the need to include him because he’s literally the brattiest one here. Adam will not give in for sooo long. He will absolutely start crying before he stops bitching and then he’d probably get embarrassed and start bitching even more to compensate. Yea, he takes the cake for the brattiest character.
a/n — ANYWAYS, I don’t think I missed any that I wanted to do, unless i forgot which is very possible. But I am curious to see your list too oh my gosh so make sure to get back to me on this one!
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Bake Nights
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x female reader
Word Count: 1,709
Summary: Bucky starts to show some interest in one of your favorite shows and you couldn't be more excited!
Author's Note: So I'm a huge fan of the GBBO and since the finale was this last week I've wanted to write something fun with Bucky. The show really just brings me joy and I've needed it lately and pairing it with Bucky just makes it that much better! No real spoilers here for the latest season- just lots of fun! Thank you all so much for reading! Much love always! ❤️❤️❤️Divider by the lovely @firefly-graphics thank you Daisy! 🥰
Warnings: lots of sweet fluff and flirty fun
“Buuuuuckkkyyyy.”
“Yeah doll?”
“Have you seen my tea? Are we out?”
As you continue to search the cabinet you feel his hard chest press against your back. His arm reaches above you and he pushes the box of crackers aside, revealing your tea.
“Oh good!” you cheer. “I’m about to watch this week’s episode of Great British Bake Off and I wanted some tea and snacks.”
“Is that the UK baking show you’re always going on about?”
“Yes,” you say with narrowed eyes as you turn in his arms.
He gives you a lopsided smile before a kiss.
“Want to watch with me?” you ask with a hopeful tone.
“I’m finishing up the paperwork from this last mission and you know all the cooking shows do is make me hangry.”
“You’re always hangry,” you state with a pout.
“So are you,” he fires back.
With one more kiss he says, “when I’m done I’ll come in a sit.”
“Ok,” you huff. “Hurry!”
You make your tea and get situated on the couch with the blanket, snacks and Alpine curled up in your lap.
“You’ll always watch with me right buddy,” you coo as you pet the cat’s soft white fur. “Not like daddy…too busy and too hungry.”
“Heard that doll face,” Bucky chimes from the other room.
“Damn super solider hearing,” you mutter.
You’re fully engrossed in the show, waiting with bated breath as Prue and Paul judge the show stoppers, and when Bucky asks, “did she just say, ‘tell us about your Beaver?,’” you startle with a squeal and nearly drop a now very irritated Alpine.
“OH MY GOD BUCK!” you shout.
“She did, didn’t she?” Bucky deadpans. “What kind of baking show is this?”
You press pause and turn around to stare at him as he leans against the back of the ouch and peers down at you and Alpine.
“The best baking show ever! Now shush…it’s judgement time.”
He lifts his eyebrows and smirks. “Didn’t know it was so serious. I’m gonna grab some food and I’ll be right back.”
You hit play and continue watching, barely noticing when the couch dips and Bucky sits down next to you.
“Did the beaver win?” he asks through a mouthful of food.
“It doesn’t work like that,” you start to explain but clamp your mouth shut as you wait for Noel to announce the name of the baker that’s leaving.
“How does it…?”
“Buck, wait…this is the worst part,” you whisper as you nibble on a finger.
He shuts up and takes another bite of his sandwich.
“Oh noooooooo,” you cry when you hear who’s going home. “I hate when anyone has to leave.”
Once it’s over and you’ve shut the TV you sigh. “Have to wait a whole week for the next one!”
Bucky slides his arm across your shoulders and tucks you against him, silently offering you a bite of his sandwich.
You take it and then ask, “can we get some cake at the diner later? I’m in the mood for a big slice of something.”
He chuckles and takes another bite of the sandwich before offering you the last one.
“Sure doll face. I can always go for cake.”
“Time for baking again?” Bucky asks when he gets out of the bathroom and finds you on the couch snuggled up with Alpine.
“Yes! Want to come watch?” you ask excitedly.
His expression falls. “Aw doll. I’m about to go workout with Sam.”
You pout. Again.
He leans over the side of the couch and kisses it right off your lips. “I’ll try to be quick. Maybe I can catch the end…or you could wait for me?”
You stare at him and blink several times, warring with the need to watch the episode immediately and the desire to watch with him.
The corners of his eyes scrunch up as he smiles. “It’s ok baby doll. You go ahead and watch, I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
You nod and pucker up for another kiss which he happily obliges in.
By the time he gets back from his workout you’re watching Paul and Prue judge the showstoppers.
“Are we about to see who wins,” he says as he plops down next to you.
Alpine meows in frustration as the couch bounces and he goes with it.
“They’re still judging the showstoppers and it’s bread week…”
You say the last words ominously and Bucky shifts closer, bringing his lips to the shell of your ear.
“Why do you sound so scared doll?”
“Paul is the King of bread.”
“Paul…? Is that the guy with the bad fake tan?”
“HEY!” you admonish with a giggle. “Yeah…but he knows bread.”
“I know bread!” Bucky says more to himself than you. “I eat bread all the time. I love it.”
“Not like that you buttface,” you retort. “Like he knows how to bake the best bread.”
“Buttface…? Did you just…?” Bucky starts before he returns his focus to the bread.
“I’ll be the judge of that! Where can we get some Paul bread?”
“Paul bread?” you repeat. “Just…shush. Let’s watch.”
“You sure tell me to shush a lot when this show is on,” he grumbles.
“That’s ‘cause you talk too much while it’s on!” you reply.
“That’s it,” Bucky says and grabs you, hauling you into his lap as his fingers find purchase on your waist and dig in.
“BUCKKKKKKKKKKKY! That tickles, stop, OH MY GOD!”
You screech and squeal and kick and fight but it’s no use. He easily holds you in place while he tortures you with tickles.
Alpine hops off the couch with his tail turned up and gives Bucky a murderous glare.
“Please,” you whine. “Just let me finish my show!”
He finally relents and slides his hands along your curves, snuggling you against his chest while you catch your breath.
“You’re such a pain in my ass,” you sigh as you let out one last deep breath and snuggle closer.
After they announce star baker Bucky adds, “I like the guy with the eye liner. He’s really funny.”
“That’s Noel. He’s the best!”
You stiffen when they get ready to announce who’s going home and Bucky hugs you more tightly.
“I really hate that part,” you say when it’s over.
“Alright, it’s official. Next week we are watching together.”
Your frown instantly turns into a bright smile and you throw your arms around his neck, peppering his face with kisses.
“I’m so excited Buck! And I have to explain everything…so Paul and Prue are the judges…”
Bucky stops you with a press of his finger to your lips. “Can we discuss his over food? Sam kicked my ass today and then the baking and now I’m starving.”
You smile before taking his finger and giving it a nibble. “Of course. Come on, we can get pizza.”
“YESSSS my favorite,” he sings.
“Everything is your favorite,” you deadpan.
He scoffs and then his smile turns devious. “I take it back.”
Your hands land on your hips and pin him with a challenging glare.
He steps closer and takes you in his arms. “Pizza isn’t my favorite thing to eat…”
His lips trail along your neck, stopping just below your ear. “You’re my favorite thing to eat.”
With a hum of satisfaction you crane your neck back and sigh as he places soft kiss to your skin, tracing your jaw before he finds your lips again.
His stomach growls just as he kisses you and you both laugh.
“Pizza first,” you say.
“Then you for dessert,” he promises.
“Man those technical challenges are rough,” Bucky says as he runs his hand through his hair. “Shit.”
“I KNOW!” you agree. “I don’t know how they do it.”
“Show stopper now?” Bucky asks with a boyish smirk.
“Yep!” you say popping the p before giving him a sweet kiss. “And it’s pastry week! YUM!”
Bucky’s fingers sneak under your shirt and trace mindless patterns along your shoulder. You’re snuggled against his chest with your palms flattened on his chest and tummy.
He digs his fingers into your skin and asks, “why does Paul walk around and watch them like that!?! It’s so intimidating!”
“Because he’s a total pain in the butt and knows how scary he is!”
As you continue to watch each baker explains their flavors and design and Bucky’s stomach growls.
“I’m so hungry,” he whines.
“You’re so cute,” you answer. “We just have to get through judging then we can eat!”
“Ok,” he says quietly as he pulls you closer.
“That’s amazing!” he says excitedly as one of the bakers brings up their showstopper. “I hope it tastes good!”
When the bakers are lined up in their chairs waiting to hear who star baker is and who’s leaving the tent, Bucky sucks in a breath, clearly on edge.
“Yes!” he cheers when they announce star baker. “I called that one!”
“You did,” you say as you pat his chest with a smile.
When Noel is about to say who’s leaving the tent Bucky drops his head and mutters, “ugh, you were right, this part really is the worst. I like them all! I don’t want anyone to leave.”
“Just wait until it gets down to the end and there are only a few bakers left…” you warn him.
The show ends and you both give each other a sad look.
“Do we know what the theme for next week is?” he asks.
“Botanicals!”
“Like flowers?” he asks with a confused look.
“Yes,” you smile.
“Wow, can’t wait for that!...heyyyyy why don’t we bake something doll?”
You do a double take. “You want to bake?”
“Yeah! I mean why not? I’m sure we can make somethin’ good.”
“OK! I’m sure we have the ingredients to put something together.”
You hop off the couch and head into the kitchen, opening a drawer to pull out two aprons.
“No way!” Bucky says when he sees what you’re holding up.
“You have to Buck! PLEAAASSSSSSSEEE…all the bakers wear one!”
“Fine,” he relents and takes it from your hand. “But I’m getting second dessert after this.”
He waggles his eyebrows as he looks you up and down.
“What are you a Hobbit?” you tease.
“A horny Hobbit!” he exclaims.
@hiddles-rose @lizette50 @buckysdollforlife @blackwidownat2814 @goldylions @randomfandompenguin @kmc1989
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes fanfiction#great british bake off#bucky barnes imagine#bucky x reader#sebastian stan x reader#sebastian stan#gbbo
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I’m jumping in to submit a request! I love it when people draw one of the caballeros cooking. I think they all have their strengths and weaknesses. Personally I feel like Panchito is a dream in the kitchen. Part of me wants to make a joke about Donald burning water but he can probably at least make a good fucking sandwich. Zé…. Man I have no idea. He is a mystery to me.
I ended up rambling about headcanons OTL but! I’d love to see you draw a cab of your choice cooking or something like that!
OK SO,, Zé has been shown cooking in his comics and apparently he's pretty decent at it (his nephews do like his food) but, as everything in those comics, it all depends if it's gonna be relevant to the plot.
José might not be a chef but I'm sure he can make the Brazilian classics like rice and beans, strogonoff (the Brazilian remix), pasta with sausages, farofa de ovo, canja, bake a cake AND OF COURSE he can work a grill for churrasquinho of whatever mystery meat he can put his hands on. He doesn't do much cooking because it's "ARGH... work", but for his nephews and when it comes to showing his friends what Rio's cuisine is like, he will do it. Also, I think if he's feeling truly inspired and has people helping him, he can make a traditional feijoada, just... don't criticize it. like, EVER.
Traditional Feijoada is supposed to be rich, it's not supposed to be spicy/hot!
#the three caballeros#donald duck#panchito pistoles#josé carioca#ducktales#duckverse#requests#I think Panchito's pepper obsession would get on José's nerve at some point but only if it's abt his cooking#“YOU'RE NOT TASTING ANYTHING I DID !! STOP PUTTING HOT SAUCE ON EVERYTHING”#Brazilians are very protective of their cooking and extremely passive agressive you have no idea#you sly dog you got me monologuing#polisenaart#brartist#brazilian artists#ask#zerotwo
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Ok hear me out. Reader and Daryl go on a run for supplies with a few other people. Reader makes a mistakes and almost gets seriously hurt/ near death experience. Daryl gets pissed at reader, maybe yells at her. Reader laughs it off and acts like she doesn’t gaf. Daryl later finds reader all shaken up and crying by herself. Love if you don’t, love if you do!
stay with me
daryl x fem!reader
wc: 2k
warnings: typical twd gore/violence, mentions of death, mentions of trauma/ptsd
a/n: absolutely love me some good fluffy angst, thank u nony❤️ i hope you like it:))
As much as you tried to prepare yourself for the inevitable situations runs would put you in, the blood-chilling reality of it never got any easier. No amount of mental prep could stove off the sounds and smell of the dead, nipping ravenously for a taste of your sweet living flesh.
Of course, over time you’d learned just to shut your brain off and fight. Fight as hard and tirelessly as you possibly could, but mistakes could still be made. Shit happened, whether it was your fault or not.
Hours earlier, a group of you went a few miles east of the prison; Daryl having spotted a little strip a few days prior, not too overrun that he thought might be loot-worthy.
It was a simple run really. Keep close, hit a few shops in and out, then head back home. That’s it. Follow the plan, get as much useful shit as possible, and get the fuck out of there. You guys had it down to a science at this point, runs becoming so second nature it was almost too easy to let your guard down nowadays.
“Hey D, I’m gonna go check the storage room back here. Might have something we could use,” you voiced to your partner a few isles down, still keeping your tone as low as you could.
“Gimme a sec, I'll come help ya,” you heard him say but you kept moving. You two had already cleared the main area, you could handle a walker or two if there actually was any behind the small door. You figured you would’ve heard something by now, some sort of banging or grumbling to announce their presence, but there was nothing, the coast presumably clear.
You should have waited.
Crossing the few miscellaneous isles you reached the back door, giving it a small rattle. Still complete silence, not even the faintest groan or shuffle. Knife at the ready, hand clamped over the cool metal handle, your heart rate picked up a notch as it always did before opening into the unknown.
“You got this, come on,” you muttered to yourself, before throwing the door open, bracing for attack. The door flew wide, only to reveal a dark, empty room. Squinting through the dimness, a few high, dusty shelves were visible, stocked with all sorts of canned goods. Fuck yea, that was certainly useful.
“D! Come look what I found!” you rasped, dropping your knife into its holster and shuffling in. You unslung your backpack from your shoulders, digging through it for a flashlight excitedly. It’s been so long since you’ve found this much canned food, surely enough to keep the group well stocked through most of the winter that was approaching. A loud creak from the left caught your attention as you sped forward. Hands finally finding purchase on the flashlight, you flicked it on, scanning across the room to the sound.
Dust caked the air, making the already dark room fuzzier and your eyes took a minute to adjust. You took a few smaller steps closer, peering wearily ahead and then you saw them.
Beady, soulless eyes staring back. A whole rickety staircase of them, heads turning one by one to the light source in your hand.
“Oh fuck.”
There had to be at least 10 of them that you could see, the top of the stairs pitch black and unrevealing.
Your feet stumbled backward, hands desperately reaching for the knife at your hip, dropping the flashlight in the process. It rolled and caught under your heels, knocking you on your ass as the corpses advanced, jaws snapping.
These were those moments. When you felt your heart in your throat, brain stuttering on action. Time moved so slowly that the fragments were almost visible and every thought screaming in your mind sounded like gibberish. You know you should move, is that what it was screaming?
The first one got to you, grabbing your leg trying to crawl up and finally, you were kicking, scrambling, grabbing onto the knife and slamming it into its skull with a loud squelch.
“Daryl!” you yelled. You needed him. Now.
3 more dropped before you, slinking towards you and you were trapped — the first corpse lying heavily over your midsection.
“Yea, yea girl. I heard ya,” you heard him respond, still sounding a few isles away.
No no no, this was not how you were gonna die. Not today. Please.
You kept stabbing, each kill taking everything out of you as you struggled against the body weight atop you. They just kept piling, you could hardly feel your legs anymore, the circulation surely cut off below your knees. And more were coming, a never-ending stream of hunger.
Another one landed before you and you had just enough time to catch its shoulders before it was inches away, snapping at your neck. Your arms burned, tears welling in your eyes as you realized this could be it. You didn’t know how much longer you had before they gave out and rotting teeth would be sinking into you, tearing you apart.
The walker kept snapping, so close you could see the layers of rotting flesh peeling from its face. You had been close to walkers before, had stared into the lifeless eyes too many times to count, but this was different. More were coming and the face in the reflection of its eyes was barely recognizable — terror painting every feature you’d known on you distorted.
The bones cracked in its left shoulder and it dislocated, dropping down to centimeters from your skin.
“No,” you sobbed quietly. Daryl wasn’t going to make it, you knew that. He was going to walk in and find his girl as dinner. You hoped he just booked it, and didn’t waste his time trying to save what would long be gone.
The walker fell limp in your arms and you flinched harshly, expecting excruciating pain to follow as it bit. But there was nothing.
“The fuck are ya doing! Get up!”
Daryl was suddenly right before you, ripping each body off your aching limbs and you were now acutely aware of the larger pile by the stairs, all with arrows and stab wounds littering their heads. When had he gotten in here?
You didn’t hear his words, adrenaline coursing so loudly through your system that all that could be heard was a loud, shrill ringing.
“Goddammit girl, wake the fuck up!” he shouted, grabbing you by the shoulders in an attempt to lift you. Your brain caught up then, as he harshly placed you on your feet. Walkers scattered the floor around you, and a grumble at the stairs announced it wasn’t the last of them.
Daryl reached down, grabbed your dropped items, and shoved them in your dumbstruck hands. “We’re gettin’ outta here, now,” he seethed, dragging you along and slamming the door behind you both, crossing the lines of isles quickly to the front entrance.
The fresh, afternoon air hit your nose in a gust and the last of the fuzz chipped itself from your senses slowly.
“Hope yer fuckin happy with yerself. Can’t ever listen to a goddamn word’a mine, can ya?” Daryl quipped beside you. His eyes were slits as they dug into you, so fuming you could see the heat radiating off his skin in the early autumn brisk.
He was angry at you, you knew that. But you also knew it was because he was scared. Hell, you were fucking terrified to stone back there, but if you wanted to calm him down at all, you knew you had to act unfazed.
Gathering any remaining wits about you, you took a deep inhale, “I’m sorry, I wasn’t expecting them.”
He didn’t respond, wouldn’t even look at you anymore as he began to pace the graveled parking lot.
“Hey don’t stress Dar. I’m alive, we’re good,” you attempted to soothe further.
“Don’t stress? Yer a real piece a work, y’know that! Always fucking up everyone’s shit cause ya don’t wanna use yer brain, huh?”
Well, that did not go as you expected.
The rest of the group had started shuffling out of the other shops around you, making their way to the vehicles.
“Jeez, you need to lighten up,” you brushed past him, head high. You couldn’t let his words affect you, not with all the other emotions coursing as well. You didn’t understand what he meant. You had never put anyone other than yourself in danger, how could you possibly be fucking over everyone else?
You decided to wait in the car as the rest of the group went back for the cans, tag-teaming whatever walkers remained. The loot had decently filled both trunks and everyone was happy to call it a day and head back.
Your eyes followed Daryl as he jumped into your car, eyes trained on the windshield, “Ya alright at least?” he muttered glancing at you briefly while shifting the car into drive.
“I’m good, you big grump,” you huffed with a tight-lipped smile. “That much food will last us a long time. I believe a thank you is in order, don’t you think?”
You were not good. Not at all, but there was no reason to worry him anymore, putting him through enough today as it was. Your hands were shoved tightly under your thighs, so he couldn’t see the tremors racking through you.
You had smelt death so many times it didn’t bother you much anymore. Today you had smelt your own. Saw your life in that walker's eyes, mere seconds away from demolition. It was safe to say you were shaken to your core.
The journey back was silent, both not in the mood to chat for very different reasons, and the whole time you were trying to keep each breath of yours steady.
You helped unload as much as you could, before slipping away discreetly to your cell. You didn’t want anyone to see you like this, you felt kind of pathetic honestly. This was life now, it had been this way for a long time now, you shouldn’t be so shaken up as you were but the terror just wouldn’t leave your body.
Panic washed over you once again as your eyes hit your dim cell. Your mind was quickly slipping back into those last moments, the darkness and dust all too similar. The fear you had felt coating your veins icily and your breaths started to become agitated. There was nowhere else to go though. If you left the cell someone would see you.
Subconsciously, you backed yourself into the corner of the room, crumbling down to the floor with your head in your hands. Deep down you hoped your hyperventilating would knock you out. You didn’t want to think anymore — see it anymore. Tears were burning the back of your throat as you held down sobs, feeling the walker's hands and weight atop of you all again.
A small yelp escaped you when the hands became real. Pressure on your shoulders and waist and your head snapped up from its hiding spot, reflexes already prepared to fight whatever presence was with you.
“It’s jus’ me, hey, hey,” you heard through your panic, his blue eyes just recognizable through blurry tears. “S’okay, relax.”
You couldn’t calm down this time, vicious sobs finally breaking their way out of your frame. Running was your first thought; you didn’t want anyone to see you like this, Daryl or not. Emotions were never a strong suit of yours and would always find yourself dealing with them in private, away from sympathetic words and pitying eyes. But Daryl was never like that, he drew you in and held you tight, uttering no more words other than the ones to confirm it was him. If you asked him to say more, he would, but he knew this was what you needed. Someone to ground you back onto Earth and out of whatever images tormented your head.
So that’s what he did. Held you for hours as your body expelled all its terror and lingering adrenaline. He’d give quiet coos through each wave of shakes, grabbing a blanket to warm you through the cold sweats. And finally, once the fear faded to exhaustion, he scooped you up off the stiff concrete and into your soft cot.
“Stay with me?” you rasped, throat parched and raw from crying.
It wasn’t a second thought for him. He was never truly angry with you, and he knew you knew that. He needed you safe with him.
“Always.”
#daryl dixon#norman reedus#the walking dead#daryl dixon drabbles#daryl imagines#daryl dixon smut#twd drabbles#daryl x reader#fem!reader#twd daryl dixon#twd#daryl twd#twd daryl#twd fanfiction#twd smut#twdedit#daryl dixon x reader#daryl fanfiction#daryl dixon fanfiction#the walking dead daryl#daryl dixion imagine#daryl x you#daryl drabbles#daryl x female reader#daryl x y/n#the walking dead x reader
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karasuno boys - dating headcanons (pt. 1)!
a/n: sen here!! heyy obsessing over our haikyuu boys are we <3 yes i am i'm only on season two right now though, almost season three!! i'll be doing aoba jousai, nekoma, and fukuroudani gakuen! enjoy!
characters: hinata shouyou, kageyama tobio, tanaka ryuunosuke, sawamura daichi, sugawara koushi (suga-san🥹), tsukishima kei (TSUKKI🥹) [pt. 1], yamaguchi tadashi, takeda ittetsu (just me and one of my favorites), ukai keishin [and in that order] {pt.2}
pt. 1 || pt. 2
notes: in this au, kiyoko can't be married to tanaka...yeah. they're still in highschool, btw
gn!reader
↳ ❝ [ 日向翔陽 HINATA SHOUYOU ] ¡! ❞
-this cutie omg
-probably the first to confess
-gets all blushy when you're around at the start of the relationship
-you love ruffling his hair
-if you watch him practice until the end, he treats you to meat buns!! if he doesn't have enough money, he'll just share one with you
-kageyama is jealous omg and tsukishima is just like "the chibi got a girlfriend??"
-loves you so very much
-his love language HAS to be words of affirmation and physical affection
-you just can't help but return the affection
-if you don't know how to play volleyball, he's gonna teach you!!
-if you know- he's going to ask you to talk to him
-dates will be chaotic and affectionate
-often cooking dates!
-you love his family especially natsu
-also love them amusement park dates with him
-he's so fun loving and all
-kisses are very innocent, close to no spice at all except when he's feeling super annoyed or something
-loves cuddling with you when it's bedtime <33
-does NOT have a specific schedule rest assured
-calls you his dove (aww)
-you love calling him sunshine <333
-HE'S JUST SO BRIGHT
-I SWEAR
↳ ❝ [ 影山飛雄 KAGEYAMA TOBIO ] ¡! ❞
-a sweetheart actually
-he's so cold on the outside but lights up when you're there
-kisses have a little bit of spice
-he's too prideful to confess first ig so you make the move
-loves it when you come to his practice to support him
-at some point he has requested you to become a manager because sometimes ukai thinks you're a distraction for him so asks you to walk out for a bit to let kageyama concentrate
-you bet he has worried over it because he didn't know where you went
-ok onto the main shit
-dates are always somehow sport related (HOW DOES HE KEEP FINDING THEM)
-sometimes an outing or two when he's actually free and not busy with volleyball stuff
-you'd think he isn't clingy...WELL IT'S THE OPPOSITE ALRIGHT.
-he actually craves YOUR attention and YOURS ONLY
-i think you two would have a cat together (named it NOTHING after the other volleyball players you know :/)
-loves your cuddles too
-WAIT WAIT HEAR ME OUT
-YOU KNOW HE BUYS THEM DRINKS RIGHT
-HE WOULD BUY LIKE HUNDREDS FOR YOU IF YOU WANT
-aww the little (wait he's tall) guy
↳ ❝ [ 田中龍之介 TANAKA RYUUNOSUKE ] ¡! ❞
-the hot-headed guy just can't get enough of you
-you sometimes make fun of him for being almost bald-
-but he's okay with it because he loves you (as long as you dont do it that often)
-okay so firstly like kiyoko WHEN HE SEES YOU HE CONFESSES TO YOU ALMOST IMMEDIATELY
-one second he's dumbfounded by your beauty, the other he's confessing to you already
-like you reject him first few times
-AND THEN AND THEN YOU START TO FALL FOR HIM
-THEREFORE YOU ACCEPT WOOOOO
-it's uh "Y/N-SAN! I LIKE YOU CAN YOU GO OUT WITH ME?!!!" and then you're just like "ah- yeah. mhm."
-he's just like :o WHAT
-okay that's it for the confession
-dates are always what you want
-if it happens you want to make cake, go for an ice cream shop, an amusement park- whatever, you name it and he can afford it? YOU'RE GOING
-they're all so sweet...
-he's also needy at some point when you're dating
-so...MORE IN MY NSFW LATER
↳ ❝ [ 菅原孝史 SUGAWARA KOUSHI ] ¡! ❞
-i'm gonna bet 100 dollars that he's the one confessing
-STEP ONE: get you as his girlfriend
-firstly he's going to ask you to meet him during lunch in the morning
-second when you're both there he confesses
-to his surprise you accept to go out with him and one date turns into two, into three and ON
-STEP TWO: MORE DATES TO COMEEE
-always ice cream dates and baking dates
-always appears to get flour in his fluffy hair
-ALSO ALSO YOU LOVE PATTING HIS HAIR AT ALL TIMES IT'S LIKE COMFORTING YOURSELF
-sometimes picnics too <333
-STEP THREE: there is none for now but THERE WILL BE SOON. SOON ENOUGH.
-his way of giving you affection is by kissing you, cuddling, and giving you praises...
-do you have a praise kink (nvm forget i asked that)
-cuddling in bed is one of his favorite ways to go to sleep
-you stroking his back is too
-you guys are always the talk of the karasuno vb boys group when you guys get together for gatherings (the perfect couple?!?!?!?!)
↳ ❝ [ 澤村大地 SAWAMURA DAICHI ] ¡! ❞
-he's definitely the one to confess first being the big boy man he is <3
-literally will kiss you when you accept
-so taken aback you felt like you were going to faint
-his kisses are so gentle help
-ok maybe not sometimes but we all know when that is
-love playing with his ears mayybe?? i know there's nothing different with the rest, but i just feel like it's with daichi
-your first date is an amusement park one ✨✨
-p.s. you shared the cotton candy lmao-
-he literally walked you home and your parents invited him in for dinner
-they like him very much thank you
-relationship has been approved now your parents are urging him to marry you even though it's only one week into the relationship-
-now HE'S the one that pats your head every time he passes you in the hallway or whatsoever
-when you move in together LITERALLY EVERYTHING IS YOUR CHOICE NOW
-you can choose the flat, the decorations, the vibes, the furniture- EVERYTHING
-loves you that much yes
-the sweetest guy ever NO DEBATE
↳ ❝ [ 月島蛍 TSUKISHIMA KEI ] ¡! ❞
-SALTY SHIMA. THIS MAN IS SO SALTY
-i swear bro
-he has rizz though that's for sure
-he confesses to you first (it was during lunch you remember the day like it was yesterday)
-his kisses are half spicy (igg since tsukishima is that kinda person)
-the mean to the public and only kind to you kind of person <3
-dates are usually home dates (he's an introvert (i headcanon))
-perhaps if you can persuade him (it's a 50/50)
-first date was a movie date
-then you went home with him (you went to his house)
-and met his parents
-they liked you very much <33 now treat you like their daughter
-the next time you went on a date, you brought him to yours and he made a good impression but they don't love him as much as his parents do to you
-i will write the time skip arc for this because i am biased and you literally can't stop me (but tell me if you want more i'll reblog it with more hcs)
-you were so happy for him when he joined the sendai frogs
-cheered for him on every game (LIKE THE SHIRT AND THE SIGNS AND STUFF)
-facepalmed himself out of spite ya bet he got a scolding for that
-"KEI KEI KEI GANABTTE," that was you, screaming at the top of your lungs at your HUSBAND.
-"oi, tsukki, who's that?"
-tsukishima facepalmed himself, earning a glare from you, "my wife."
-"EHH?? TSUKKI HAS A WIFE??"
-lmao the most normal occurrence
-after that koganegawa would often come to you and ask for dirt on kei (screw him for facepalming)
-saltyshima (in the public) → sweetieshima (in front of you only)
©marikosenwrites 2024-25 all banners, dividers, and work. please do not steal. i own none of the HAIKYUU!!/ハイキュー！！ characters mentioned. reblogs, likes, and comments are welcomed. <3
#sen's works#haikyuu!!#haikyuu#haikyuu fluff#hinata shoyo#kageyama tobio#sugawara koushi#sugawara daichi#tsukishima kei#hinata x reader#kageyama x reader#sugawara x reader#sawamura x reader#tsukishima x reader#marikosenwrites
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