#or was it bitter ? whichever one i used it was my one and only

[hxlda-hxlda]

snippet! tagged by my darling @fiddleleafedfig <3

“Alright Loony–”

“Fuck you, Crouch.”

“Lupin, darling,” Barty drawls, tongue curling along his teeth, “don’t threaten me with a good time.”

Remus catches the sound of Sirius huffing an irritated scoff.

“Fuck, marry, kill,” Barty goes on with a hum, surveying the room in what can only be a sign of trouble. Remus prepares himself for the worst. “Potter, Pettigrew and,” he stretches the syllable out, “Black.”

Regulus punches Crouch in the arm, hard enough for him to cry ‘Oi!’.

“They’re already at each other’s throats as it is, you idiot,” Regulus hisses.

“It’s an innocent question!”

“Remus, you don’t have to–”

“No, no, it’s fine.”

Remus clenches the beer resting on his thigh, deciding to drain it in one long gulp; weighing his options. He feels bad, almost, for the way James has been fidgeting uncomfortably for the last thirty minutes - something that has only increased since the game began. For Lily’s grim look that shows she thinks there are much better ways to spend their limited time.

Not, however, for the way Sirius glares pointedly at him. No, Remus relishes that part, actually.

“Fuck James,” he says.

Remus’ eyes flick over to him but James hardly acknowledges Remus, staring down into his own beer.

Evan raises his drink in apparent concurrence.

Remus scans the rest of the circle before coming back to look at Sirius Sirius. Always fucking looking at Sirius. Well, it pays off this time, when he catches the slightest of flinches after annoucning:

“Marry Peter.”

A cackle of laughter that can only be Barty. Remus can feel Regulus’ own glare now. He’s being purposefully bitter, petty, whichever other synonym you might enjoy putting here. If only he cared.

“And kill Black.”

The game continues, must do, but Remus cannot make out the jumble of words. Not with the deafening way Sirius is still, silent, angry – so, so angry. Remus can hear it in the pump of his heart, a beat he would recognise anywhere. He told them he’d forgotten it (he was lying).

It becomes a staring contest then, in a way. Unwavering, steely grey eyes. Those fucking grey eyes.

They used to do this, Sirius and Remus, Padfoot and Moony.

Slum dogs in the depths of a darkened alleyway. Fierce, as though in a stand-off, they growl over the last bone. The meat is already rotted, but what else do they have?

“Just gotta let him know he’s boss, that’s all the big puppy wants. I just roll over, show him my tummy and voilà, there you have it. No need for a big fuss. Besides, Moony always remembers me.”

“I’m impressed you can handle that. You hate not being the one in charge.”

“Yeah, well, I always make the exceptions for you. Don’t I, Moons?”

Sirius snatches his eyes away first, to his lap, to James, briefly at Regulus. It breaks whatever spell that held them both there. Conversation resumes, time resumes, it could have never happened in the first place.

“I’ll fucking kill you, Black.”

“You know what, Remus? I finally fucking believe that.”

open tag to anyone who wants to share a snippet!! i have hardly been writing while overseas, so here is something i wrote quite a few months ago (and am still rather fond of). it’s from the death eater remus fic, if you’re curious!!

#fic: i won’t believe you #writing tag #marauders #sirius black #remus lupin #wolfstar

[yusukenui]

aether is the doormat twin if anything, argue with the wall

#from the drafts #this is purely shower thoughts but 😭 #mainstat def aether vs atk lumine is actually so important to me #because it honestly sets a path for me to characterize them since canon gives us the same lines for whichever twin u chose #aether has that... younger even if by a minute energy. the energy where hes kinda aloof and sociable but still a bit of an awk kid #but lumine has the kind of stubborn daughter energy. where she just goes head first into an issue and just plans from there #i feel like current traveler interactions are more accurate to lumine than to aether because theyre only now starting to become more_ #- passive aggressive #aether would take it reluctantly without voicing annoyance vs lumine that does get the job done but id bitter about it the entire trip #another thing i really like :( is those showcase videos where they put the twins fighting styles overlapped #and the way that they fight covers for each others gaps :( #where lumine goes in ruthlessly and aether covers for her weak points... their dynamic as siblings is SO important to me #i wish there were more backstory to them more of when they traveled other worlds more from when they were twin starts... anything!!! #their characters are so neat but quest wise we dont even have crumbs where threading w cells dawg 😭 #anyways #genshin impact #i want u to know that the thing thats got me thinking about them rn is how i got xiao x aether as my assigned ship in that one buzzfeed #quiz #and i was like... xiaoae works but i dont see them being anything with lumi #and now that we're on that topic #i feel like a lot of traveler x character ships work with aether and not with lumine or they have a completly different dynamic #based on... well basically everything said earlier about their dynamics as siblings #xiao and lumi would never work because for lumi finding aether has no rock that will be left unturned #xiao has a duty with liyue... if lumi has to turn to darkness to save aether she will do it and she will not take betrayal lightly #aether would understand xiaos duty to liyue... he has a duty with lumi afterall. he bargains. #lumi on the other hand rejects #doormat dynamics 😃👍 #i have two more drafts to make before the coffee wears off 😮‍💨👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 #this is in the queue as well LOL

[transgaysex]

reminder to look up the shiny of the pokemon youre hunting or the shiny evolution if such is your goal

#wind howls #shiny hunted charcadet and managed to get 2 shinies ! #but i did not look up the armarouge and ceruledge shinies beforehand. i was foolishly and ignorantly hopeful that theyd be better #they are not. #so now im rather disappointed... that was my only spicy herba mystica..... #or was it bitter ? whichever one i used it was my one and only #anyway i didnt find a single shiny for 25 minutes and then found 2 blue eyed bitches standing right next to one another #sigh.... i need to look at cool shinies and hunt those

[lostinforestbound]

AHHH YOU'RE THE BEST THANK YOU FOR DOING MY REQUESTS 💖💖 YOUR WRITING IS TOP NOTCH

can i come at you with another request, if i could? can i request a human!tav/reader that has never seen a tiefling before the grove, and they get curious about rolan?

- 💛

Aww thank you for the compliment! I'm glad you like my silly little writings! This request was a lot of fun!

Rolan With a Tav Who's Never Seen a Tiefling

When Tav first arrived at the Grove and stared at him in a strange way, he immediately thought the worst. Great, another human who will look at them all in such disdain.

Worst of all, they convinced his siblings it would better for the trio to stay and help the other refugees. Now not only are they irritating, they butted into his family affairs.

He's snippy, when they go to speak with him. Of course he is, he's bitter. How dare they insert themselves in a private argument? How dare they look at him with that weird face? They don't deserve his time.

He doesn't realize that look is wonder until they manage to speak civilly.

They explain, while a bit embarrassed, that they've never actually seen a Tiefling before. Whether it's living a sheltered life, never coming across them, or only seeing them in illustrations, they've just never come across them.

Their weird looks finally make sense to him: they were just curious about him.

When they become a little more comfortable with each other, they'll ask simple questions if he'll allow it. Are his horns heavy? Does his mouth feel crowded with his sharp teeth? How about his ears, are they sensitive? His tail?

He'll answer in vague terms, sometimes because he's annoyed with the questions, other times he's just embarrassed about explaining Tiefling biology.

No, they're not allowed to touch any of his traits.

Sometimes he wonders why him? Why not Zevlor? He's probably more than comfortable explaining their unique traits. But no, they want to talk to him.

Lia and Cal know exactly why, giving each other amused looks anytime those two talk. They love their brother, but sometimes he's an idiot; they hope he figures it out, for all of their sakes.

Writing Blurb

"So the base of the horns would be more sensitive than the tips? Would that apply to the tail as well?"

Someone please kill him.

He feels as though they're driving him into insanity. Why are they even interrogating him with these questions? He was sitting peacefully with shitty wine before they decided to saunter over. Why him? Zevlor would be more receptive. What is their game?

They don't seem discouraged by his lack of response, chatting away as he stares longingly at his now empty wine bottle. "How about the ears? I actually heard Elf ears are sensitive at the tips and use that advantage during foreplay."

He wants nothing more than to sink into the ground. Or get drunk, whichever comes first.

"What about-"

"Can you not ask your Tiefling friend these questions?!" He shouts, dropping the empty wine bottle.

"Oh, I could."

"Then why don't you? Surely she would be happy to explain things to you."

"I want to hear it from you!"

"I'm not answering these idiotic questions of yours, you absolute degenerate!" He hisses, not noticing how flushed his face is, "Gods, it is not helping that you're asking these so damn loudly."

"Would you answer them if I get you another wine bottle?"

"No."

That makes them burst into a laughing fit, and Rolan's blush gets even worse. He's embarrassed, ashamed, pissed, and flustered all at once. They're clearly making fun of him, and he doesn't appreciate it one bit. He's tempted to bare his teeth at them but they manage to calm down their laughter.

"Sorry, sorry! I didn't mean to embarrass you."

"Clearly." He states sarcastically, tail thrashing in his irritation.

"I mean it, I swear. I enjoy talking to you. A lot."

He looks at them in confusion, almost exasperated. "What?"

"I like hearing you talk."

Before he could respond, they gave him a sweet kiss on the cheek, which silenced him on the spot. He had no idea what to say, and they didn't even give him a chance to speak before they got up. "Let's talk later, yeah? I have plenty of questions for you."

As they walk away from him, he idly touching the place they kissed. Hells, he's done for. He internally prays any god willing to listen for their strongest alcohol as he goes to search for another wine bottle.

#rolan #forest-writes #rolan x tav #bg3 rolan #holy rolan empire #rolan x reader #rolan bg3

[blushstarot]

PICK A CARD: a message from my deck to you (timeless)

Pick whichever picture you feel more attracted to and skip to that pile.

Pile 1

queen of swords, the star, ten of pentacles (reversed).

In your past you went through a lot of bad situations, and probably were suppressing a lot of pain and suffering because of it. I see someone calling you out, a feminine energy, for bottling up all of your problems, or it might even be yourself snapping out of it, and working to get yourself to a better headspace. The past, although it hurts, have taught you a lot of valuable lessons, and when you look back to it, it feels like right now you are in tune with the universe. Maybe you are involved heavily in spirituality, and this has brought you peace and healing, making you feel all the issues that plagued your mind are now gone; however, you still have some more to learn and a long path to go. There may be some problems left for you to face, some that could involve your family, this could rock your foundations, specifically of the way you think and the things you believe. This changes might be sudden and cause you to break with traditions in dynamics in your family, but don't fear it, take this changes as something positive, and as an opportunity to learn and grow.

**As in all the PACs, just take what resonates and leave what doesn't, this is for entertainment only, so have fun with it!

Pile 2

page of swords (reversed), queen of cups (reversed), queen of wands.

You used to be one of those persons who claim to be brutally honest and direct on how you talk to people, but ends up just coming across as blunt and abrasive. This might have caused you to be seen as someone who is being defensive, cold, vindictive, cynical and that thinks is better than everyone else. Maybe some of you spread gossip about someone else, with ill intentions, and even manipulated (knowingly or unknowingly) someone closed to you. I would suggest working in your communication skills if you aren't doing it already. Right now, you might feel ashamed by your old ways, shallow and even directionless, but take this message as a warning to avoid becoming bitter with how you used to be, specially if now that you are trying to change things don't go your way. Sometimes you might still come across as sensitive, needy or clingy, as well as self-centered and with a lack of empathy, so watch out for when you unknowingly repeat the same mistakes you did in the past. If you keep going in this path of working on yourself, you future seems bright and optimistic, you might keep your chaotic energy, but I see a lot of growth and success in what you want to achieve.

**As in all the PACs, just take what resonates and leave what doesn't, this is for entertainment only, so have fun with it!

Pile 3

Eight of cups, the sun (reversed), knight of cups.

You feel like someone you care about abandoned you in the past, even if it didn't physically abandoned you, it could be more of an emotional thing, were they weren't present when you needed their support. This might have lead you to feel disappointed, lonely and looking for ways to escape your reality, making you overthink too much. Right now you probably still feel sad about feeling abandoned, and are refusing to see the positive things in life, making you cling to this negative emotions and use them as a way to filter how you view life and make decisions based on fear. I also see you trying to break free from this and starting to look for guidance, probably the main reason on why you ended up reading this PAC. You trying to change how you feel and expressing it is a good thing, take this message as an encouragement from me and my deck to start doing what your heart wants, and become who you want to be. One bad experience doesn't define you, you define who you are and only you can decide how to live your life. When you feel ready and safe enough, try to reach out to someone you trust about your feelings and your problems, I promise you're not a burden. If you continue this path I see gentleness, affection and warmth in your future, and exciting news too, the type of news you've been hoping to have for a while.

**As in all the PACs, just take what resonates and leave what doesn't, this is for entertainment only, so have fun with it!

Thanks for reading, let me know what you think of your message!

You can find more of my readings on my master list, and if you have any topic you want me to do, you can send me an ask requesting it. I have another reading coming out later, hopefully today, so when it's out I'll link it here.

Bye byeee ✨

#pick a picture #pick a card #free tarot #tarot reading #tarot #tarot community #tarot cards #pac #pick a pile #tarotblr #tarot reader #a message #blush'starot

[astrologylunadream]

How They Want to Spend the Holidays With You 🛷⛄🧣 (Pick a card/Tarot love reading)

Happy holidays!! It's Lunadream🥰 We're getting in the festive spirit with how your person imagines spending the holidays with you.🍫🤍 hope you find your message~✉

Notice: Only take what resonates because the most important thing is your own judgement!♡ If anything doesn't resonate, don't worry! It's not your message right now <3 (Entertainment purpose only. All rights reserved)

Now, shall we begin~? ^w^ Think of the spending christmas with that special someone, and pick whichever pile that fits the energy you're feeling~♥️

Pile 1🎅🏻

Pile 2📍

Pile 3🎧

Pile 4☕

Take your time and choose carefully with the heart~♡

On to the readings —> 🍫♡

Pile 1🎅🏻

Sign energy: Conflict, Lesson, Cold, Message, Reality, Mercury, Fire, Scorpio, Vertex, North node, 🚷🩹🧎‍♀️🗡

🧣Your person's energy: Alright for your person there are some very distant vibes, I feel like they don't get along with others the best. They have an intimidating way about them that others fear slightly, your person could easily start arguments with people accidentally🙊 They have a lot to learn when it comes to connecting with others through words, and the universe plans for them to learn many lessons most likely the hard way and through trial and error🥺 Virgo, Gemini and Scorpio could be possible placements. I'm getting that your person can be more cold with what they say, definitely don't sugar coat much.🚫🍰 Very straightforward and heavy attitude, which makes them very captivating though.🥴 Your person may have issues facing reality or dealing with matters that affect their future, they have a lot of inner conflict in their heads⚔💭💥 Now I'm totally seeing that this person is very forceful in their approach to communication, they tend to be very intense or blunt. But even though they tell it like it is, they aren't one for over sharing. Like, they have more of a "back off" mentality, and prefer to keep things to themselves. Could be introverted for some of you, I definitely see they aren't fond of many people but a few. For my pile 1's I'm seeing that your person seems to push you away and then pull you back strangely, very hard to read indeed🔍😳

🛷How they want to spend the holidays with you: Vulnerable, Competition, Crown, Comment, Jealousy, Libra, Chiron, Saturn, Juno, 3rd house, ♂️🍁🍋♨️ Okay my pile 1's this person is really possesive over you I just had to mention😭❤ They don't want anyone to take their place with you this year. Canada may be a place they want to spend the holidays with you, definitely dates I'm seeing. Your person imagines stepping foot in the snow with you all dressed in thick clothing, and briefly mentioning proposing to you as either a joke or a little hint🤭💍 I think your person really wants to spend the holidays with you knowing you could be committed to them, they want that deeply♥️ They honestly would hate it if any other potential love interests came in the picture for this time, they are very vulnerable to jealousy and possessiveness over you. They get very bitter and hurt if they feel like 2nd place to someone else I'm hearing. My pile 1's your person is very competitive to win your commitment, so they may imagine doing so during the holidays like finding cute and fun activities to impress you with.💗🤗 Omg like going to christmas cafes, shopping and driving you around to see the christmas lights together.✨ They want to become more successful and stable during this time simply to seem more like dependable/marriage material to you and also so they can buy you lots of gifts!!🥰🛍 I'm also hearing they want to be very hot and attractive for you haha like they're working on their body or appearance maybe as your little christmas present lol♡🎁😳

📮Messages from your person: Thinking of you, You must be desperate, You're mine forever, I'm always supporting you, I worry what people will think of us, I can't stop looking at you, You're too pretty to be sad this christmas, How are you so pretty? (AHH🤧♥️ So sweet oml) Extra cards: Foreign, Finger, Love letter, Explosion, Jawbone

Thank you my pile 1's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!♥️

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 1 with the santa emoji~🎅🏻 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading🥰

Pile 2📍

Sign energy: Affection, Name, Violate, Care-taker, 9th house, Aquarius, Leo, South node, Uranus, Moon, 😰🧚‍♀️🧩🤚

🧣Your person's energy: Okay so the first thing I noticed is that your person could have a unique name, one that isn't common or spelled differently. They are pretty smart I'm hearing, and their method of learning things is quite odd but effective. This could be aqua moon but over all Aquarius placements, Sagittarius, Leo, and Cancer.😌 Your person is very sweet and kind, they empathize with others often. I feel like they are the kind to cry at the strangest time in a movie like it wasn't even that sad??😂😢 But their emotions work differently than most people's, like their reactions may be delayed or odd reasoning. Your person is so caring though♥️ People may tend to invade their personal space or business I'm getting, but they don't say anything to be nice.🥺 Definitely over empathize with people, I think more so in the past. Also the way they show love may be in strange ways, like they may study you if they find you interesting also being overly friendly buddy-buddy with you haha😂 I feel like that is how they express their love or interest in someone they like. Omg and people buzz around them like flies I'm getting, they may have people oddly involved in them. You may start out as friends with this person or that is the dynamic you would have, like friends who really care for eachother I feel like they really care for you!! Now your person may have put a stop to something that they used to do.. I'm called to say being too nice or letting others use them. People definitely took advantage of your person in the past or it feels that way to them. I think they allow invasive behavior they shouldn't out of pure sympathy for those people, they might be putting a stop to that now or at least trying.✊😊

🛷How they want to spend the holidays with you: Unheard, Cute, Inspiration, Violence, Practical, 10th house, 4th house, Pluto, Venus, Leo, 🎤☔👑🧛‍♂️ Ahh so your person wants to spend the holidays with you doing cute cozy things like decorating and spending quality time together😫😭 This is so cute, they would want to go somewhere nice and fancy but also very pretty!! Like somewhere iconic or recognizable from a movie📽♥️ Think grand and unforgettable. My pile 2's your person definitely wants to do cute stuff with you like making snowmen and all the old fashioned traditions🥰 I feel like they imagine a romance movie between you two like this is so much sweetness. My pile 2's they want to be inspired and unlock their creative side with you, aww I bet they want to write you a card too. Somewhere familiar and cozy like a cabin would be their dream with you, sipping on hot cocoa by the fire.☕🔥 They imagine watching cute vintage christmas movies and cuddling together, and then waiting for the perfect moment when you least expect it so they can hush you quietly and push you down to steal your kiss.💋 Now things would probably get really spicy between you two if it were up to them but we won't get in to all that😅😳 They really want a moment like that with you, somewhere quiet and well thought out. Like they would plan it all so perfectly for you, and they're just waiting to create those soft memories with you.🥺💌♥️ I think they currently feel it isn't achievable in some ways, but if there is ever the chance to do what they have in mind they would take it without hesitation. My pile 2's your person wants to make it real for you😍

📮Messages from your person: You leave me wondering, I left a mark on you, You are not alone, Stay positive, Soon, Calm down, What are you hiding? It's love at first sight. (Pile 2 yess!!💋) Extra cards: Cupid, Note, Star, Head, Top

Thank you my pile 2's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!♥️

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 2 with the red lollipop emoji~📍(it's actually a pin but y'know it had to match😂)Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💫

Pile 3🎧

Sign energy: November, Side effects, Home, Less, Nose, Taurus, Gemini, Venus, Lilith, Pluto, ♍🎸🤕🪓

🧣Your person's energy: Okay for my pile 3's your person sure has a lot going for them♡ May be born November or fall, Taurus, Gemini, Libra, Virgo or Scorpio placements. Very prominent Taurus energy for this pile!! Your person may have a noticable nose, I feel like they are insecure about their nose but it actually looks really good on them🥺♥️ They have a very clear and soothing voice, but also hot oml🥵 Like they could do ASMR and everyone would be obsessed😭😭 For some of you this person may not have family or a "safe place", they feel lost in some way. I feel they look really good in plaid, they may enjoy rock music or grunge. Listening to music heals them I'm hearing, they find it very pleasing and calming to their chaotic mind.🧠🎸 Your person may be harsh on themselves, also they take a lot of hits in life like they've been through so much.😢 Now my pile 3's your person has such an intense energy about them, it definitely makes them very attractive too. They have a huge effect on people's minds, especially feminines. People get obsessed easily with this person, and they don't even ask for it😫 I'll just say people definitely think your person is hot, they have this dark side to them that is so mysterious and eye catching. People talk about them behind their back and all. But what your person is really looking for is a safe place, something that is home to them.🏠

🛷How they want to spend the holidays with you: Fear, Outfit, Decision, Zoo, Limits, Sun, Eros, Pluto, 2nd house, Fire, 🥳😴😎🦴 Ohh they really want to go christmas shopping with you!! I'm surprised, like they are actually really sweet for my pile 3's🍫 They wanna buy matching outfits for the winter, letting you choose and all. But they do have their limits to what they can and cannot wear so they wouldn't just let you pick out everything for them.😂 They may want to go see winter animals with you like penguins, huskies and snow bears🐧🐺🐻🤍 Spending money on you is something they want to do, because it's truly their choice. I'm definitely seeing that my pile 3's you turn them on like they are actually so attracted to you omg!! They are secretly afraid of this attraction to you because you make them so obsessed.😳 Like just as they are intimidating to others you are intimidating to them😰♥️ Definitely a hot attraction to my pile 3's. They may stop themselves from fantasizing of you otherwise they could fall too deep into it, they really want to have control over you and your experiences this christmas. They wanna visit winter gardens with subtle slow music so you two can dance together, ohhh but they would definitely imagine feeling all over your body with that chance.😫🧤 Omg and they would want to see you in a classy white dress that fits you well, they're wanting neck kisses by the fire~💋 Eating out at a nice candle restaurant with expensive food to celebrate the season, ooh and enjoying a christmas party with you🍷 They have a fear of disappointing you, perhaps you have many expectations when it comes to the holidays each year so they feel it takes a lot to impress you. But trust me when I way they really would put in the effort if they could for you because oml they just want to make you pleased♥️

📮Messages from your person: If it's what you want, I can't stop, We're apart this christmas, I won't let you be with anyone else, Everything is real, I can't control you, It's awful, Tell me your secret wishes. Extra cards: Compliment, Cafe, Self love, Signs, Luck

Thank you my pile 3's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!♥️

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 3 with the earphones emoji~🎧 (idk why there isn't an earmuffs emoji yet but yeah🙄) Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading😘

Pile 4☕

Sign energy: Summer, Fluff, Touch, Creativity, Captive, Pluto, Fire, 3rd house, Mercury, Venus, 💔🦚🗻🚨

🧣Your person's energy: There is so much softness to this pile♥️ Okay we have some creative vibes for your person, they have a very artistic mind. This could be someone you met in the summer, or ended the relationship at that time. For others this person may be born in summer☀️ Scorpio, Virgo, Gemini, Taurus, and Libra Libra placements. Possible mercury-Venus aspects. You are stuck on this person, and they may be stuck on you. Long distance or something is keeping you apart, but over all they are distant with you. My pile 4's for some reason your person is agitated that you are thinking of them, because they want what's best for you. Part of them hopes for you to stop loving them for your sake, but they also don't want to let go.😢 You think of their touch sometimes and it causes you to overthink. (They have a siren's touch)🤯❗ Your person is very magnetic and their love captivates you, but your attraction to them can take you over sometimes. They are cute and gorgeous, but they also make you lovesick I'm hearing.🥺♡ They have a soft touch to them, may be more soft spoken or at least with you. My pile 4's are a little obsessed with this person, but you can't help it!!😫😭 You love the way they speak, like they word things in such a pretty format💕 Your person may have specific feminine's obsessed with their beauty and charms. They have very kissable lips I'm hearing. Often wear outfits that stand out and may enjoy wearing fluffy winter clothing.

🛷How they want to spend the holidays with you: Off, Purpose, Special, Break, Reality, Chiron, 12th house, Aquarius, 6th house, 11th house, 🆕️🤵🍒🦴 Ohh okay so your person is really worried about your hopes this year, they don't want to let you down. But they definitely have something in mind with you♥️ They want to break routine and spend the holidays in an abnormal unique way, I'm definitely seeing that your person wants to facetime with you for christmas.🎄 They wish they could send you cute messages and tell you "happy holidays!"🤗🎉 They want to spend christmas with you even in separation, if only to connect on a soul level to spend this special time with you.✨ It is hard for them to know you miss them, and want to spend the holidays in their presence. They really want your wishes to come true, to be there for you.🥺💝 They want to spend the holidays connecting on a higher level, through spiritual contact can they give you their warmth and love for christmas. Who knows, maybe they may even appear in your winter dreams as a little christmas gift to you~💌 How sweet, They want to do something meaningful for you. Something that will heal you, and keep you going. Spending the holidays at a festive gathering with you, giving you hope and cheer is all they want to do. They want this year to be a fantasy for you, and they imagine making christmas crafts, immersing yourselves into christmas movies, and exploring the winter wonderland together.☃️☁️🤍 I'm melting like a snowman this is so cute.

📮Messages from your person: Things aren't going that way, I don't look at other people, I'm mad at you, I hate that I love you, You should stop, Would a kiss be enough? I love when you get shy, I want to be with you. (Aww😍💕💌) Extra cards: Kabedon, Structure, Mermaid, Phase, Endless

Thank you my pile 4's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!♥️

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 4 with the hot cocoa emoji~☕ Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading🤗

Wanna see more readings like this? Check out my tumblr for accurate readings for you!💗🌊🌸

Thanks for reading! \(*^w^)/💌 -Lunadream <3

#pick a pile #love reading #love tarot reading #daily tarot #tarotblr #astrology reading #pick a photo #tarot pick a card #tarot #free tarot #tarot readings #tarot reading #love tarot free #pac tarot #tarotcommunity #divination #tarot reader #tarot love #future lover #tarot pac #pac reading #pac future spouse #love pac #christmas reads #christmas #festive #holidays #merry christmas #xmas #christmas tree

[meyousing]

𝐵𝓎 𝒴𝑜𝓊, 𝐹𝑜𝓇 𝒴𝑜𝓊

𝓶𝔂 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓮𝓼: today (february 1st) is my birthday, and i wanted to write something special for the occasion! ᵔᴥᵔ happy birthday to me!

𝓼𝔂𝓷𝓸𝓹𝓼𝓲𝓼: your yandere captor surprises you on your special day, in such a sentimental way.

𝓼𝓽𝓸𝓻𝔂 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓮𝓼: this is meant to be an insert of whichever yandere character x reader you want! sfw, slight hurt to comfort, fluff. not super proofread, too excited to get this out on time :P

Never could you have imagined living to see the day where you’d find yourself alone in bed, cuddled up with a book, and dearly missing your captor. Uncharacteristically, he had awoken you this morning with a soft kiss, telling you that he had a lot of plans and errands to run today; he would not be home until later that night, likely when you’d be sleeping. He ensured that you had your usual entertainments and devices nearby before taking his leave, but not before tenderly telling you that he loved you, and that he hoped you would have a pleasant day in his absence. If you had to admit it, pushing all of your feelings aside–he had never mistreated you. Aside from the whole kidnapping and controlling everything that you were allowed to do, of course. With those aspects not in mind, you could only say this was uncharacteristic to an extent. 

He was always showing you distant affection, holding you very gently as if you were something fragile, and letting you go when he could tell that you wanted to be detached and alone. Today, he was acting more affectionately with you than he usually did; so thoughtfully, what with the kisses and sweet wishes. Could it be that he knew what day it was? He hadn’t said anything, though…maybe he was just in a particularly good mood, from some other reason that he felt wasn’t important enough to mention. 

You chose not to dwell on it for too long, as wondering for an extended period would only allow your mind to run free, and too far. You knew that you would start to recall bitter memories of your past birthdays, of your so-called friends and uncaring family who would respond to your rhetorical inquiries of “Do you know what day it is today?” with “...Wednesday?” Not to mention how, the older you grew, they would only hum in response to you telling them that it was your special day, or they would think you were joking, telling you that this attempt at gaining their attention was so odd, such a weird excuse to use.

Ah, see? You let your mind run off again… you did not want to remember any of that. But you continued to think about it, to let it eat away at you; too occupied inside of your own mind as your eyes scanned over the first sentence of your book’s current page over and over again, not really taking any of the words in when the ones being spoken in your mind were too caustic and distracting. It wasn’t until something fell down onto the page that you blinked out of this self-induced stupor. It was a wet spot… oh, you had started crying. 

You began to contemplate your feelings as more tears fell, and the more that you did, the more you were able to reassure yourself these memories were just that: memories. Figments of the past, things that have been said and done, that were no longer a problem for you now. So why were you so upset? 

Perhaps it was due to the fact that the one remaining person in your daily life had not done anything to change these recollections for you. He who claimed to be so devoted to you, to know everything about you, to have your best interests at heart and would do anything if it meant a benefit to you… had also forgotten your birthday. And what made you feel so much worse was how badly you craved his company right now, in such a disquieted moment, whereas on any other day you would banish him from trying to look at you when you were in such a state. 

“Y/N? I’m home.”

His voice was distant, you had time. You lifted a quivery hand to your face, clumsily shooing the tears off of your cheeks and wiping that same hand on the pillowcase beneath you to dry your fingers. What impeccable timing he has, you thought to yourself. 

As you heard the door grate open and his footsteps as he entered the room, you looked up to his frame in the doorway and could only pray that your eyes were not bloodshot, that your nose was not too swollen following so many sniffles. He returned your gaze after closing the door behind him, trekking over to you--he had not yet mentioned anything about your face looking different, and it didn’t seem like he would be once he gave you a soft smile. Safe, you told yourself. He sat down on the bedside by your feet, resting his hand on your blanketed knee and giving it a light squeeze.

“Did you have a good day?” 

How could you answer him without giving away the truth? You were sure that honesty would lead to endless questioning about what he could do to make you feel better. Anyone else would certainly appreciate that, but in a moment where you were made so sad by a topic so vulnerable, you only wanted your own company to cope; perhaps it was the countless years of being left alone on this day that made you crave loneliness. 

He squeezed your leg again, bringing your attention to the lingering silence in the air upon your lack of an answer. You blinked a few times, mustering a phoney smile in return to his as you nodded your head. Your response being nonverbal shouldn't have been anything he wasn’t used to, but it didn’t stop him from gazing at you for a bit longer than what seemed acceptable in that moment. Oh no, could he tell something was off? 

You had to restrict a deep sigh of relief when he turned away from you briefly, once more indicating that you were safe from his hounding since he had said nothing else. But when he turned back around, your body tensed on the spot.

“This is for you.” He almost sounded awkward, his eyes downcast as he slid a small, hand-sized box in your direction, stopping when it bumped against your hand. 

Was this… a gift? It took you a second to rip yourself away from the shock-induced paralysis of seeing what looked like a present being given to you today. Surely you were getting ahead of yourself, you couldn’t get too worked up over this just yet, even though your hands moved to unwrap and open the box faster than you could process the velvety feeling of it in your palm.

Inside was a delicate bracelet. And not just any bracelet, this was the one that was given to you earlier on in your life. It was the only gift you had ever received from your family, even though you had received it when you were an infant. It had sentimental value; the memory of an experience you had never felt since then. 

When he had torn you away from your everyday life, forcing you into captivity at his side, you were forced to leave behind all of your personal belongings. Not only was this bracelet important to you, but it was the first item you had touched from your old home in over a year. Could he understand just how much this meant to you? Did he even realize what exactly he had just returned to you?

“I remember the story you told me about it.”

Oh, right. You had spoken about it once before, when you were in a mood to open up to him. You wound up crying into his arms and falling asleep in them, something that you pretended never happened when waking up the next day, since it had still been so early on in your time here. 

“I’ve had it in this home since the day I brought you here, but I wanted to give it to you on your birthday to make the reunion special. Sorry for making you wait so long…” his words were almost cheeky, the grin he shot at you holding the slightest hint of guilt. 

The way that your eyes and nose appeared to him now could no longer concern you, they were going to become bloodshot and swollen once more as tears welled up on your waterline. Your body acted before your mind could, a sob from your chest wracking both of you as your arms met around the back of his neck in an uncoordinated hug. 

“You remembered,” you whimpered into his shoulder, pressing into him as tightly as you could. At first, he didn’t make any moves to return your embrace, but you knew that he must have been momentarily surprised by your sudden lack of apprehension towards him, for once. His arms found your waist seconds later, welcoming you to him by pulling you closer and nudging his cheek into your neck sweetly.  

“Of course I remembered. I just wish I could have spent my day here with you. I could hardly stand the image of you being alone in here all day long, on your special day.” 

Such words made your heart flutter, you could barely believe them. Nobody had ever wanted to spend time with you on your birthday, especially by their own choice. As your eyes dampened his shirt the more you let out such joyful tears, a feeling swelled deeply inside of you that you never could have imagined experiencing towards him, had it not been expressed by him in the first place. He only made it known that your feelings would not be unrequited. 

You could swear that by him and for him, you felt love. 

© meyousing 2023. do not share/export my work on to any other platforms. do not translate my work. 

#✧meyou #✧musinghxhmasterlist #chrollo #yandere chrollo #chrollo x reader #chrollo lucilfer x reader #chrollo lucilfer #phantom troupe #hxh #hxh x reader #hunter x hunter #hxh chrollo #hunter x hunter x reader #chrollo x y/n #chrollo x you #yandere x reader #yandere boyfriend #yandere #sukuna #ryomen sukuna #sukuna ryomen #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #sukuna x y/n #sukuna x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #jjk x you #sukuna x you #jujutsu kaisen ryomen

[userparamore]

i agree that paramore should have raise awareness on palestine a while back and that their recent statement seems performative and weirdly gaslighty to make it seem like we all knew that their save the children donations in December were for Gaza specifically when it was really unclear when i tried to look into it

But, i think them turning off the comments on insta now just seems like whichever social media manager was running hayley’s account is now running paramore’s now too ever since they left Atlantic. Hayley had her comments off since 2022. I just find it weird cause the comments of people asking them to use their platform for Palestine was respectful whereas after Hayley called out Desantis, she was getting numerous harmful death threats under paramore’s account for weeks from repubilcans and their social media manager just let it happen

If I’m wrong then it’s bizarre that their social media manager was fine with death threats and people sharing links to Hayley's nudes but drew the line at people asking for a political band to speak on genocide. I’m glad that this fandom is rightfully calling out the band and hopefully all of the lashings they’re getting on twitter will make them continue to amplify Palestinian voices instead of just a 24 hour story

there isn't much more for me to add to this tbh bc i agree with what you're saying. i think it's strange the way they've fronted themselves as 'political' and hayley saying she's 'very fucking comfortable talking politics' and then stay silent on palestine for as long as they did. when i read their story i had to dm @paracunt and ask her what support they showed in december? i could not remember ever hearing about it, and according to ivie it was only posted on twitter, but the post got nuked when they deleted all socials. which again... only on twitter? so most people didn't even see it. and then this story? they couldn't commit to a grid post? it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth i'm not gonna lie. i'll redirect you to ivie's post here which goes into it a bit more bc i think she hit the nail on the head.

i can't speak on their social media manager bc i don't know who that is or if they in fact have one. but them turning off comments on their post makes no sense to me either- like you said with when they turn them on and off. hayley said in the ig reel yesterday that they are missing a direct line to paramore fans... but they shut down every oppurtunity there is to communicate with them. comments are off on everything and today they announced the discord is being deleted. i don't get it.

i don't want this blog to turn all negative about the band, but their choices lately have been strange to say the least.

#ask #anon

[friendofthecrows]

OK I need to talk about something unhappy (long post, but I have Something to Say):

(TW medical; TW weight discussion)

When I was in the hospital, not one but TWO nurses complemented how skinny I was. I was in the hospital because I was bleeding into my intestines due to a crohn's flare-up, and I found out while I was there that I was also extremely malnourished.

One nurse, while injecting a med intended to prevent blood clots, said, "your tummy is so flat and perfect, I feel bad injecting it."

...to a patient literally starving because they aren't absorbing the nutrients from the food they eat.

A common side effect of the most recent and popular class of crohn's meds (biologics) is weight gain, and unlike for steroids, this weight gain is mainly because of symptom relief and levels out over time. And yet, when you look it up, you find article after article about how to control your weight while on whichever biologic you're taking.

When I was 11 and I should've been gaining lots of weight during puberty, I started losing it instead, and when I insisted I had no idea why, my doctor told me I had anorexia. I didn't even know what anorexia was yet, and my dad tried to step in and inform her that I ate a lot. WELL over what most people my size ate. I ate as much as him, a 6'2 and heavy-set mountain of a man. So the doctor said I must be throwing the food up after eating, and asked how long I spent in the bathroom after meals. If the doctor hadn't already decided that my being underweight was a vanity thing, maybe the answer would've been a sign that they should refer me to a GI clinic. Instead, she insisted that I weigh every morning, naked, with my dad's supervision so I didn't lie, and that he check the toilet after every time I used it to make sure I wasn't secretly throwing up. This went on for a year and instead of gaining weight, I kept losing it, and faster. My dad brought up my obvious GI issues, but the doctor's advice at this point summed up to, "We don't know what's causing it if not an eating disorder, so we will just have to see if fixes itself." I got down to 69 lbs at 5'4 before it began to "fix itself." Though, I stayed underweight. I got scouted for modeling three separate times, and my mom told me I shouldn't make that decision so young because the industry is exploitative. I got endless compliments. I still do, and when I do sex work, how skinny I am is a frequent line of praise people tell me.

I decided some people are naturally skinnier (true, and I have a narrow build on top of that), and that since people liked it, it probably wasn't that big of a deal. It wasn't bad enough to look sick, after all.

Lying in a hospital bed trying to keep down an Ensure that my body did NOT like, only to be complemented on my tiny waist by the nurse that gave me the Ensure, it really just settled in.

There is no looking sick enough for people to stop praising thinness. There is no valid enough reason for gaining weight for people to stop writing fear-mongering articles about how to lose it.

I want to gain weight so that my body has enough energy to do things like "stay awake for an entire day" or "go for a 15 minute walk." If I do so, I throw away being desired (not entirely, but much of it). Ultimately, it isn't a choice at all. I want to feel like an actual living thing and not land in the hospital again. But it is absolutely fucked that our society makes it a trade-off.

And if I can indulge in some bitterness, I hope that every doctor who saw my thinness as a sign that my health was "not too bad" instead of a warning sign either learns and changes or dies of some sort of wasting disease.

#medical #health #fatphobia #rant #beauty standards #chronic illness #tw weight #hal rambles #sorry if this post isn't well written #I've been thinking of saying something about this experience and it finally boiled over #i just can't put up with how much people seem to value my body for being thin alone #while I'm still losing weight even on steroids and eating as much nutrient dense food as my stomach can physically handle #I'm really trying my best here #and all I'm getting are compliments #glad you like my body but I'd really like to live.

[romantamsxiangshi]

Translation of Anita Mui's 1991 "似是故人来" (It Seems an Old Friend has Returned)

My first sapphic translation! Anita Mui, the Madonna of Hong Kong, has a very special place in my heart. She sang many Golden Age anthems, starred in just as many Golden Age dramas, and was named the "big sister of HK's music industry." Though she never disclosed her sexuality, she was named a queer icon for her androgyny, sexually explicit lyrics, and performance of genderqueer roles. (Think Lady Gaga.)

似是故人来 is the theme song of the 1991 双镯, or "The Two Bracelets," a lesbian love story set in the countryside of southern China. The movie was adapted from the novel of the same name by Lu Zhaohuan, and was directed by Huang Yushan. 似是故人来 was composed and produced by Luo Dayou, with lyrics by Lin Xi, both of whom operated under strict censorship and limited knowledge of the film's plot. According to Luo, Anita Mui was 2.5 hours late to the recording session (which I think is kinda gay), but finished the recording in 30 minutes.

Translation:

同是过路 同做过梦 We walked the same roads towards the same dreams.

本应是一对 We were supposed to be a couple.

人在少年 梦中不觉 I was too young, I didn’t know I was dreaming.

醒后要归去 Now I’ve awakened, and I wish to return.

三餐一宿 也共一双 Three meals, one house, the two of us together.

到底会是谁 Who will you be in my future? (1)

但凡未得到 但凡是过去 I don’t think you’ll ever understand. It’s in the past, after all. 

总是最登对 But I’ve always loved you. (2)

台下你望 台上我做 You’ll watch me from the audience, I’ll perform for you onstage.

你想做的戏 I’ll give you whichever story you wish. (3)

前事故人 忘忧的你 Old friend, you who forget your sorrows,

可曾记得起 Do you ever remember me? (4)

欢喜伤悲 老病生死 Joys and sorrows, life and death: 

说不上传奇 What are those stories next to ours? (5)

恨台上卿卿 或台下我 I hate those lovers onstage, and I hate myself offstage. (6)

我不是我跟你 I hate that I am not with you. (7)

俗尘渺渺 天意茫茫 This land is so barren. Heaven knows no shame (8)

将你共我分开 To separate you from me. 

断肠字点点 风雨声连连 My broken heart beats in my every word. This storm will never end.

似是故人来 Old friend, I thought you were coming back. (9)

何日再在 何地再聚 When will we be here again? Where shall we meet again?

说今夜真暖 This evening was so warm.

无份有缘 回忆不断 We don’t share a destiny, but I’ve never stopped thinking of you. (10)

生命却苦短 This life is so short.

一种相思 两段苦恋 One lovesickness, two bitter hearts.

半生说没完 I’ve spent half a life spent describing you to others. (11)

在年月深渊 望明月远远 Each year is an abyss, I wish upon the moon. 

想像你忧怨 And I remember all your sorrows.

俗尘渺渺 天意茫茫 This land is so barren. Heaven knows no shame

将你共我分开 To separate you from me. 

断肠字点点 风雨声连连 My broken heart beats in my every word. This storm will never end.

似是故人来 Old friend, I thought you were coming back.

留下你或 留下我在 Did I leave you behind? Or did you leave me behind,

世间上终老 To grow old in this world? (12)

离别以前 未知相对 Before we parted, did we know how much we loved each other? 

当日那么好 Those days were so lovely. 

执子之手 却又分手 I hold your hand, just to let it go again.

爱得有还无 I don’t know where to find our love. (13)

十年后双双 万年后对对 In ten years, we’ll be together. In ten-thousand years, we’ll be together.

只恨看不到 I only wish I could see it happen.

十年后双双 万年后对对 In ten years, we’ll be together. In ten-thousand years, we’ll be together.

只恨看不到 I only wish I could see it happen.

Translation notes:

(1) 到底会是谁 translates directly to "Who will it be, really?" When placed in conversation with the previous line, this line could mean, "Who will be my partner?" (referring to a love interest the speaker does not yet know/recognize) or "Who will you be?" (referring to the speaker's uncertainty towards their current love interest, and how their love interest seems foreign to them now). The lack of subjects, objects, and pronouns leaves a lot of room for interpretation, so I chose the angstier version.

(2) 总是最登对 translates directly to "Always the right one," or "Always correct." I take this to mean that the love interest has always been the right person for the speaker--hence, "I have always loved you."

(3) 你想做的戏 translates directly to "Whichever play you want to see," referring to the previous line concerning the actress/audience interaction. I chose "I'll give you whichever story you wish" because it sounded better (subjective?) and felt congruous to a number of lines besides just the previous, as well as to the song's meta context. This song was part of a broader love story/movie, after all.

(4) 曾 (ceng) implies something ancient: translated literally, the line is "Have you already remembered?" or "I/you/[subject] already remember." Considering how the protagonists of the movie view their queerness as a sorrow that must be forgotten/left behind, I decided to place this line in conversation with the previous, and go with "do you remember me?"

(5) 说不上传奇 translates directly to "They can't be considered legends," which I believe is a line meant to minimize life/death/old age/illness next to the speaker's love. I thought it was a bit awkward to refer to life/death as legends, so I used the term "stories" and added "next to ours" to match the full effect of the line and its relationship to the previous line. I converted this line into a question because a simple sentence in English doesn't quite have the same power as a short sentence/fragment in Cantonese. Questions do, though, because they feel more accusatory.

(6) The 卿 of 卿卿 (qing qing) can be translated any number of ways: "ministers (of the law)", "wives/ladies," or "lovers." There's a certain heterosexual rigidity implied in the word, which I think any English translation loses.

(7) 我不是我跟你 is the line that confused me the most, because it defies both Chinese and English grammar structures. I tried translating it literally at first: "I am not me with you," or "I am without you," or "Without you, I am not me," before deciding to go with the laziest route. Let me know if there's a better translation, please--I'm still confused.

(8) 天意茫茫 translates to "Heaven's will is wild and vast." The original line implies unknowability, but I used a pretty heavy hand in choosing the word "shame" instead. My academic justification is that shame, accusation, and frustration echo throughout this whole song, and my translation pays tribute to that. My honest justification is that I liked the angst.

(9) There is no object in this line--the speaker just says, "I thought an old friend was coming back"/"It's as if an old friend is coming back." But I liked the addition of an object.

(10) 份 (fen) could mean "to share" or "to separate" or "to share by separating" (e.g. splitting food between people). In this case, I thought it would sound strange to write "splitting a destiny."

(11) 半生说没完 translates to "half a life is not enough." The speaker doesn't clarify what they need the time for: whether to spend with their lover, to talk about them, etc. "Describing you to others" was a big creative liberty of mine, but it's also something that feels very sapphic, and emphasizes the speaker's loneliness.

(12) 终老 has the implications of taking care of one's parents when they are old: a duty, and an emotional labor. Growing old alone, without anyone to take care of you, is a very sad thing in Chinese culture.

(13) 爱得有还无 also translates to "I don't know whether this love exists" and "I don't know whether I have this love." But considering the importance of location, and the importance of journeying/coming/going, I chose "where to find."

#anitamui #anitamuitranslation #anita mui #cantopop #cantopoptranslation #cantopop translation #hong kong #golden age hong kong #Spotify #translation

[captain-lessship]

Trick

Growing up meant changes, one that upset you was the assumption that you were no longer allowed to trick or treat on Halloween. Even though you could probably get away with it if you took a younger cousin, you decided it wasn’t worth the hassle.

It wasn’t all bad though. Not trick or treating meant that you could spend Halloween at your boyfriends house.

That’s exactly what you were doing. Dressed in your slip dress and worn makeup from your long day at work, you breathed in the comforting air of Eddie’s trailer. With a lit cigarette, You looked at the VHS tapes, looking for a good horror movie while Eddie was getting the snacks ready.

“Eddie! Do you want to watch Poltergeist or Christine first?” You called to him, looking at the only two titles that intrigued you as you balanced your cigarette on the brown glass ashtray.

“Whichever you want, babe.” He answered back. You huffed, that was unhelpful.

“I think we should do Poltergeist first, Christine is less scary.” You said as you pulled it from the shelf and slipped it into the VHS player.

“Don’t you hate the scene where the guy peels his face off in a hallucination?” He asked, walking into the living room from the kitchen while holding a bowl of popcorn in one hand and two drinks in the other.

“Yeah,” you took one of the drinks from him before sitting down on the couch, “But you’ll put your hand over my eyes so I don’t have to see it.”

Eddie sat down beside you, nestling the popcorn in between the two of you. “Will I?”

“You better.” You smiled as you put your head on his shoulder.

You were almost in Eddie’s lap due to fear, you know what was going to happen but still. A loud knock jolted you up and broke Eddie’s attention from the TV.

He looked at you, “You did tell your parents that you were here, right?” Even though you were grown, it was common courtesy to let them know so they wouldn’t think you were dead in a ditch.

“Yea.” You said, trying to get your nerves under control.

After removing you from his lap, Eddie got up and walked to the door, opening it slightly. A recognizable voice came from the other side.

“Henderson? It’s getting late, what’re you doing?”

The poor boy was breathing heavily, “I thought this would be our last year of trick or treating…” he huffed, “And it was good til that guy who lives in the end of Seventh Street-“

“Mr. West?” You asked, now up and walking to the door.

“Yeah.. him.”

You rolled your eyes, “He’s always been a bitter old man. One year, he put a candy apple candle in my bag. Imagine my surprise when I bit into wax.”

“Sounds like a delightful guy.” Eddie said, “Well, we got a couple options.”

Dustin walked in the trailer, standing beside you as Eddie walked back to the kitchen. You looked at him, “Ever egged a house?” You asked.

“No?”

You grinned as you grabbed you jacket and picked up your shoes, “It’s never too late to learn.” You zipped the jacket up halfway and slipped your shoes on

Eddie walked back into the entryway, armed with a carton of eggs, “It’s all I got on this short notice.” He handed them to Dustin as he reached for his own shoes.

As you walked to your car, you quietly talked to Eddie, “Are we bad influences?”

“Well, I mean look at us. You bleached your hair with peroxide in a gas station bathroom and I sell weed.”

“True.” You said as you opened the drivers side door. The car started up and you pulled out of Eddie’s driveway.

You had to admit: you were not a lawful driver. Speed limits are just suggestions. You zoomed down the backroads, only slowing at the places where you knew cops liked to hide. Poor Dustin, your back seat didn’t have seat belts, all the poor boy had was the ceiling ‘oh shit’ bars.

You slowed to a stop a few blocks from Mr. West’s house, looking at the two boys. “Okay, we can walk from here. Got the eggs?”

#fanfic writing #fanfic #romance #x reader #october #halloween #halloween fanfic #fanfic 2 #stranger things fandom #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #Eddie Munson x female reader #horror movies #dustin henderson #bad drivers

[onedaughterofman]

Heyoo! how are ya doing? Im unsure if you take requests because i can't navigate tumblr to save my life, but, if you do, could i ask for some Ghost bc x reader birthday comfort fic? like,,, hurt to comfort? yesterday was my birthday and i had a rlly bad day, like, boss screaming at me, ppl forgetting abt it, etc. Can be with anyone, the ghouls, papas, whichever flows better :) Gn reader if possible. If not thats ok! Hope you had a good day!

Hi! Listen, I'm not taking requests anymore BUT I had a draft laying around that could work with this, so I made some changes here and there. It's not perfect, but I hope you like it.

I know your birthday was some days ago, so happy (really) late birthday! ♥ I'm sorry to hear you had a hard time. Here is my gift to you.

Papa Emeritus II x g/n reader. Birthday fluff!

Summary: Secondo is a soft man at heart, with a secret talent he puts to good use for your birthday.

Tags: Rated T, kinda fatherly Secondo, fluff, platonic relationships.

A/N: Look at Papa doing his silly little dance!

“What’s that?”

Papa’s hand hangs in front of your eyes, a big white ceramic plate resting on it. “Torta paradiso,” he replies, delicately swaying the place to one side and then the other. “All'arancia”.

Alright. That you can see and smell. The delicate yet strong fragrance of the orange permeates the air, making your mouth salivate. The cake looks simple, barely decorated with a bit of powdered sugar and orange zest on the top.

However, you don’t understand why Secondo is placing it right in front of your face, making it serpent like it’s tempting you to sin. “I can see that,” you continue, sitting straight on the couch. The heavy blankets fall around your waist and the cold air hits your skin, sending shivers down your arms and legs. “Where did you get it?”

“I made it myself.”

Oh.

That’s… something you didn’t see coming. A man like Secondo, who always looks angry and intimidating, doesn’t seem to be the type to spend any time in the kitchen baking something as delicate as a cake. Even more, he not only made it, but now he’s proudly displaying it to you.

“I didn’t know you could bake.”

“Can’t an old man have a hobby?”

Tripping over your words, you hurry to reassure him that it wasn’t your intention to question him. Secondo only laughs, a bitter but somehow calm sound that fills the air with warmth. He takes a sit next to you, motioning to move away the blankets. The ceramic plate is placed on the little coffee table.

For a few seconds, Secondo stares at the TV. There’s an old movie there, a cartoon you used to watch when you were years and years younger. This movie always brought comfort to you, awakening memories of hot beverages and butter cookies, of old friends and cozy socks.

Life used to be simpler before. Then, shit happened. Shit always happens, but it hits harder on days like these.

On your birthday.

No one remembered it. This day was just another day, only heavier on the heart. Maybe it’s all your fault. You are fool, as you have constantly been. Year after year, you hope for things to be different, better somehow.

A certain type of sadness fills your body and soul on your birthday. A sadness that walks behind, hugging your back and whispering heavy words in your ears.

No one cared.

No one celebrated it.

No one.

To your left, Secondo sighs. The sound halts the tears that were beginning to form on your eyes. In a swift movement, you hurry to clean any remnant of it, hoping he doesn’t notice it.

If he does, Papa says nothing. He merely reaches out to the plate, cutting a slice of cake before carefully placing it on a napkin. His gloved hand extends in your direction, leaving no place to deny him. You take it.

His gaze is intense and expectant, full of an emotion you can’t quite discern when you take the first bite. Is he nervous? Is he anxious? He’s looking right into your soul, analyzing every little twitch of your eyebrows and searching for any reaction.

The sweet and fresh taste of the cake fills your mouth. The texture is soft, airy and delicate, and the taste of orange and vanilla is comforting. You nod, a smile on your lips. “This is so good!”

“I’m happy to hear that,” he says, letting himself fall on the couch. For another long moment, he stays in silence. His eyes absentmindedly look into the TV, before closing as he exhales. “Happy birthday, kid.”

“You remembered it?”

“Isn’t it a Papa’s duty to remember this stuff?”

Right. A duty. It’s foolish to think a busy man like Papa Emeritus II went out of his way to do something for your birthday, out of the kindness of his heart.

Maybe it’s the way your gaze obscures, or the heavy lump on your weary shoulders, but he hurries to continue. “I mean, I care about every Sibling. I know most of us don’t fit outside this Ministry, but we are a family here. If we have nothing else, at least we have each other.”

The strange softness in his eyes makes you swallow dry. Papa is a stern man, someone who mostly keeps to himself when he’s not surrounded by women. And yet, there’s something deep inside his pupils, a dark veil of emotions that tells you he understands.

Papa is a sad, sensitive and lonely man at heart. “Do you really like it?” he questions, after a beat. “I wasn’t sure if I wanted to make this or a torta caprese.”

“I liked it,” you repeat. Papa smiles, reaching out to wipe a bit of powered sugar from the corner of your mouth.

“So, what are we watching?”

Excitement filling your voice, you explain. Papa listens, nodding a few times in an effort to encourage you to keep talking. When the movie continues, his eyes remain on the screen for a few minutes before you detect the faint sound of his snores.

Oh, well. Papa is also an exhausted, old man. Leaning closer to his body, you wrap the corner of the blanket around him. Head on his shoulder, you take a deep breath and close your eyes too.

#ghost band #ghost band fanfic #papa emeritus ii #papa secondo #papa emeritus ii x reader #my writing #my fics #ask box

[neverenoughmarauders]

Why are the long marauders fics so rarely about four friends?

I thought I'd go and make myself a bit more unpopular still!

As prompted by a wolfstar discussion, I wanted to share two knuts on my biggest frustration with long marauder fics - it was definitely one of the key drivers which led me to start writing When We Were Up To No Good.

TLTR: I used to believe I didn't like long marauder fics because of wolfstar, but I think that is just a symptom, rather than the cause. I would be equally disappointed if I opened a long fic and Sirius/Remus or James/Remus weren't close friends - and I do get disappointed everything Peter is treated like he wasn't their close friend.

This was a story of four boys - but it's often boiled down to one close friendship between two of the boys. Having said that: we should read and write stories we like: which is why I started writing :)

The Marauders is a story of friendship: of trust and loyalty, but also arrogance and betrayal

The marauders is a story of friendship done right, and friendship done wrong. The support Sirius and James and Peter lends to Remus is immeasurable. The role James and his family plays in Sirius' life is likewise. Remus looking after the underdog and making sure James and Sirius takes in a young, shy and 'slow' (and clearly cunning and not that slow) boy - while having a bitter aftertaste - is a show of compassion true to Remus' nature. We get told that the Marauders would have died protecting each other (minus Peter). These are good friends (mostly)!

The story is one of caution too, though: Sirius and James' arrogance and bullying means they attract people to them that will later be attracted by greater bullies (yes, Peter, you). Sirius and James trusts the wrong friend, and it's at least worth asking the question of how well they truly knew their friends to get it so wrong, caught up in their own cleverness.

There are many quotes I feel summarises aspects of the Marauders (eg. 'no friendship is an accident' / 'let us live, since we must die') but none more so than this:

'The saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies'

That doesn't work if Peter is just thrown aside in the story and constantly ignored by the three others?!

I was attracted to the story because of the four friends - which is what I often miss in these stories

I was attracted to the Marauders for two reasons:

Sirius and James' friendship - sure (but they aren't the only bromance in Harry Potter and yet it's the Marauders I fell for);

the incredible friendships between the four boys and the ultimate betrayal

My firm belief is that they were all great friends. Yes, it's canon that Sirius and James were 'best' friends, joint at the hip and inseparable (and I love them for it so much <3), but the Marauders too are collectively described as inseparable as part of Remus' story on the Wizarding World (and yes I am being a hypocrite because I ignore parts of what's written there - but still).

Throughout the years I am sure the friendships varied in nature. James and Remus, as an example, is likely to have a very different friendship in year 5 when James is the top bully with Sirius, than in year 7 when James is Head Boy. Likewise I can see a case for Peter and Sirius, the two Marauders without any formal responsibilities in year 7, experiencing their friendship evolving that year.

This isn't really about one-shots or fics that focus on a specific moments, more that I cannot imagine reading a full Marauder length epic fic where I feel two of the four constantly feeling completely out of sync with the others, whichever pairing you throw at me.

But hey, that's why I've taken up the pen

Honestly, there's very little that gives me more pleasure than writing my own story. I cannot imagine writing anyone else's story and neither should anyone. We should write and read what we like!

This is especially true for long fics, which are by nature long (okay it's always true, but it's especially evident with long fics). If people get into the Marauders for one ship or one friendship I can see why that becomes the focus (no point writing or reading thousands of words about something that doesn't interest you).

#Marauders fic #canon marauders #James Potter #Sirius Black #Remus Lupin #Peter Pettigrew #marauders fanfic #anti marauders fanon #I post about Marauders canon so we need not bother them #Honestly I love the four (three) of them so much

[cushfuddled]

God, thank you for your Stede and Ed comments. I could MAYBE get past how much s2 made me hate their guts if a huge chunk of the fandom didn't seem to think Ed is a precious uwu babygirl who is always correct and Stede is his bland validation machine. But no, that and the insistence that "the ship IS the show" kills my ass dead. Glad show's dead, long may it rest in piss. Anyway bitterness aside looking forward to your vid!!

OMFG this is so validating! Yeah, the insistence that Ed did nothing wrong and that Izzy was his dastardly racist homophobic abuser blows me away. It's so difficult to understand how someone could look at the dynamic between Ed and Izzy and come away with such a black and white perspective.

Izzy fed Ed's demons. He made it very clear throughout season one that his love for Ed was conditional—that Ed wasn't safe as long as he behaved like his honest self. I would definitely call Ed and Izzy's relationship toxic (at the very least), but if we're like, turning this into the abuse Olympics, I think Ed wins the gold for feeding Izzy his own toes, shooting him in the leg, ordering the crew to kill him, then handing Izzy a gun and like, not looking the least bit surprised when he thought Izzy used it to kill himself.

I mean. The lengths antis will go to spare themselves the backlash of liking a problematic character...yeesh. Lads, if you find yourself fighting to prove your murderous comfort blorbo is actually a precious cinnamon roll (too pure for this world) because you're afraid any acknowledgement of their abusive behavior will upset your friends/cause your community to lash out at you...then frankly, you deserve better company. Please enjoy whichever characters you enjoy, abusive petulant assholes or nay, and if people get mad at you for it, then let the trash take itself out. Talk about conditional love!

I honestly wish Jenkins had been allowed to wrap up the show—not because I think he could've turned around and made me like the story again (not gonna happen), but because I know so much love went into Our Flag, and I'd like the cast and crew to get that catharsis. I know a lot of fans are desperate for closure as well. The only thing I'm salty about in that regard is, like, the fact that now fans can always claim the show would've gotten good again—that season two was just a "bridge" to a satisfying finale. I'll really never understand the idea that a middle installment's quality doesn't "count" just because it's packed between the start and the climax of a story...As if you can cut the entire middle third out of Freytag's Pyramid and get the same overall experience. Blegh.

#ofmd salt #our flag means death salt

[hopefulfuturenovelauthor]

Panic Room

Crowley x reader (gn) part 1

about 5,000 words. I hope you all enjoy and please do not copy my work, thanks!

Warnings: read through at like 1:00 am once so probably many mistakes, canon violence, the supernatural, angst (I guess), and language. Also slight warning, I’m planning on making this a 3 part/ maybe short 4th part mini series, but I take forever to write anything, this has just been sitting in my drafts for a couple of months.

Panic Room

Hell Raising

Hair Raising

I’m ready for the worst

So frightening

Face whitening

Fear that you can’t reverse

Welcome to the Panic Room

Where all your darkest fears are going to come for you …

Seven and a half months. For you a total of 75 years of brutal, unrelenting torture. Hell did not treat you well and to call you bitter would not only be offensive but also the largest understatement of the millennium. 

You loved humanity, you loved your life, and you loved those in your life. Despite this, anger was all you could feel toward the people that used to bring you the most joy. The ones that made you laugh, that made you a better person, and left you behind. You didn’t even know if they knew. 

You died. You died and as your deal had stated; you were going to hell. Readying yourself for the worst did nothing to help in the end. The place was so frightening at first, but with time you became used to the fear. It was nothing anymore. Your only goal in life was to never be afraid again. You knew what you needed, but more importantly, you knew what you craved.

You wanted them to pay. You made the deal for them. You made the deal with his crossroad demons. You took the price when the one that fucked up refused to take responsibility for his actions. 

You sacrificed everything. You lost your will to live and more. You didn’t want to hurt just anyone you wanted to hurt them. You wanted them to feel every moment of your torture and then some. You didn’t want revenge, you wanted justice.

“Belial, the wicked one, it’s great to finally see you, however, I had been hoping I’d be able to put a name to a face. Is the mask really necessary?” Crowley stalled.

“No, it’s not necessary, I just prefer it. After all, I did go back to get my face, and I wouldn’t want my old identity to get out there, now would I?”

“I suppose not,” Crowley led on, making his way around one of his numerous castle rooms in Hell, preparing the both of you a drink. “How do you like your liquor?”

“Well, more recently I’ve come to like a nice earthy aged scotch or whiskey neat. Whichever you think would be better. Either is much nicer than the cheap beers I used to drink. However, you still stick to the room temperature yeast water if I’m correct Dean and Sam. As for you Castiel, your grace makes it unnecessary to even try drinking unless you want a whole nother liquor store,” you turn slowly to look at the shorter hunter sneaking up behind you. 

Dean had stopped his stride as you started to speak of him. Sam carefully made his way out from behind a bookshelf to your left. Castiel walked with his usual cadence from your right, out of the darkness.

Crowley gulped as you slowly moved back to look at the King of Hell.  The brothers collected together on your left moving closer to the demon you were staring at. Castiel armed himself with an angel blade shifting to Crowley’s side. 

“It’s nice to see I’ve sent you into such a panic, my King. But all four of you, here, in front of me, it truly seems all of my prayers have been answered.”

“What are your grievances toward us?” Castiel questioned, as he held his position as a warrior of the lord.

“What the hell did we do to you?” Dean asked.

You chuckled menacingly, “Hell is exactly right, Dean Winchester. As for my grievances, I simply can’t move past the fact that I was left here to rot.”

“We don’t even know who you are,” Sam said, trying to ease the tension of the situation.

“I assure you, you know exactly who I am.”

“What is it you wish to do to us for our mistreatment of you?” Crowley did not seem bothered by your accusations. He was in fact satisfied with his work, but only because he did not know whose face lay under the cover of your mask and hood.

“I’m simply going to take you to where all your darkest fears are going to come for you.”

Crowley scowled at this. Castiel raised his blade. “You can’t hurt me, angel, you promised.”

“I have only ever promised that to one-“ Castiel stopped speaking. The look of sudden and horrifying realization dawned on his face.

“Cas, Cas, what is it, who are they?” Dean asked as Sam tried to get Castiel to share the information he had just come to understand.

“Well, I don’t care who feathers promised to protect. This is my kingdom, no one threatens me,” Crowley pulled out his angel blade only making it a step forward.

“Really, Crowl,” your voice sounded as it used to, no longer holding the facade of an old and ancient demon, “when have you ever beat me one-to-one? We could make another bet, you’ll have to finally take me to that one restaurant you're always raving about and saying you’ll bring me to.”

His face fell immediately. “No,” it came out of his mouth with a hint of denial, but his eyes begged for what he was thinking to not be true.

It was your turn to smirk at the demon. You did so as you took off your mask and slowly removed your hood.

“Y/n,” Sam’s voice came out breathy. You were unexpected. Dean’s face whitened entirely, finally understanding Cas’s silence. 

“We burned your body,” Crowley’s voice was breaking and eyes watering.

“You should have gone to Heaven,” Castiel stated.

“And I would have. If I hadn’t made a deal to save you lot from Lucifer,” your nostrils flared and your glare was directed at the Winchesters. “You were like brothers to me. I saved you! And you!” your gaze turned to Crowley, “I was given two goddamn years, by your crossroad demons. And my life ended up shorter than determined because I sacrificed myself to save all of you. And-and you, you let me rot in Hell.” Your voice broke on the last sentence you let slip.

Each of the men before you crumbled at the weight of your words. Not a single one of them could look you in the eye. 

“Do it,” Dean said. No one spoke out against this. “Do what you need to do, make us pay. Just, please, let Sam out of this.” The begging was something your demon side liked, but the human part of you was sickened by it.

You walked forward, reaching out to cradle Dean's face in one of your hands. “No,” escaped firmly from your lips that were stuck in a hellish smile, fully displaying almost pointed teeth, like that of the many monsters you had all killed together.

The fear that followed your statement caught you off guard. Sam, Cas, and Crowley all flinched at your answer and Dean fell apart. 

“Please,” the pleading returned. Dean looked about ready to beg you from his knees.

“I do not want revenge. I want justice. Congratulations, I don’t want to kill you any more than I want to kill anyone else at the moment. I want you to look at me and see what I am. I want you to know what you did. I want you to understand I screamed, and cried, and begged for each of you to save me. I want you to know that I held onto hope for so long,” the tears began to escape from your blackened eyes, “I thought you would come for me. I thought you cared! But you left me, never thought about me. You didn’t give any part of it a second thought. So this is punishment fit for the crime. I am a demon,” you looked at Dean, “I am not your friend,” you looked at Castiel, “I am not Y/n,” you looked at Sam, “and one day I rip this Kingdom from your grasp,” you looked at Crowley, and stepped back to view them all, “most importantly, none of this is personal. You left me behind, now I’m leaving you. You will forever recognize that you messed up and I will always be a reminder of your guilt. You are nothing to me, even if I am something to you.”

You began to walk off, reaching for the handle of the doors you had walked through earlier. You spared only one glance back before walking out, making one final blow, “goodbye boys.” After that, you simply disappeared.

—

“Your majesty,” the demon croaked out in fear.

“What?!” you snapped at your underling as you looked up from the scattered plans of hell and general paperwork. The demon shook under your gaze. It concerned you at times that your demons feared you so much. You were more of a force to be reckoned with than Crowley and he had been a demon for far longer than you had. The cruelty wasn’t what you wanted. You had hoped the damage done to your soul hadn’t changed you as much as it obviously did, but you supposed that was just your luck. “I apologize for my brashness, Anthony. I’m simply busy and stressed. Now tell me, what is the matter?” you looked at the demon before you with as much care as a demon can have for their personal assistant in a strictly platonic way.  

“I’m afraid the Winchesters wish to see you. The short one is in the palace with his angel,” he told you still wary of your scrutiny.

“Here… in Hell?” you questioned. Anthony nodded, swallowing down his hesitance. 

“They threatened to start killing your people if you refuse,” he said.

“Ahh, send them in then,” you told the demon, “make sure they know that if any harm comes to you I will be far less willing to even give them the time of day once they arrive.”

With another small nod, he walked off to collect Dean and Castiel. It had been a year since you had last seen any one of your old ex-friends. Hopefully, they would leave you alone if you showed little interest in their affairs.

As quickly as he left, Anthony seemed to return. Dean and Castiel were in tow, following behind the demon. You raised your brows at your loyal subject asking him if he was alright. As always Anthony kept it short with a brief nod before gesturing toward the door. You responded curtly back. Neither of you needed words to truly understand the other when it came to such dealings. 

“You seem to be doing well down here,” Dean said, rocking on his feet, a telltale sign that he was uncertain and needed to calm his nerves somehow.

“Yes, I suppose us demons just have a knack when it comes to Hell,” Dean paled at the distance of your voice. It still destroyed him that this was you now. All he saw was your body, but it wasn’t you inside, not the you that had been like a younger sibling to him.

You asked Dean what he was doing here, but he did not respond.

“Dean,” Cas said.

“Yeah.”

“I asked what you wanted,” you said again, this time he was actually aware. 

“Oh,” Dean was certainly out of it. Even Cas seemed to be affected by your voice. He tried to show it less, but Dean looked struck. If you had any empathy for them you would have felt bad. But you had none.

“Look,” you turned to actually face them, abandoning your work, “I’m not unreasonable, and I doubt this is a social call. I know that most of what you do tends to keep newer, larger, and more concerning players off the board. So what can I do for you so I can get back to my job and you can get back to yours?”

“We need help,” Dean replied.

“We need to find the angel tablet,” Castiel said. He seemed off somehow, even just slightly. He felt off too. It could have just been your new keen magic skills. You had recently been looking into seer magic and empaths.

“Oh,” you let out, leaning back into your throne, “Sorry, little above my level at the moment. I can get you a referral though. May I ask why you need this specific artifact?”

“So you’ve heard of it?” Dean pressed, stepping closer. Your eyes flitted black and he took a cautionary step back.

“I’m afraid I don’t let demon hunters and their angel friends too close, out of self-preservation. As for hearing of it, yes, I have. Let’s just say some information trickled down from Crowley’s kingdom.”

“Is this not all his Kingdom?” Castiel’s head cocked to the side.

“For the moment. It’s always healthy to have some respectable competition.”

“Who would this ‘referral’ be?” Dean used air quotes awaiting his likely disappointment.

“Ah,” you sighed, “I had a feeling you would ask that. Sadly, Crowley would likely know more than I would.”

“Crowley isn’t going to let us anywhere near him,” Dean argued.

“Well, that isn’t my problem. I’m not the one mucking around in other people’s business, now am I?”

“Y/n-” Cas started.

“It’s Belial or your majesty, angel,” you barked.

“I apologize, Belial,” Cas looked devastated. Fuck, what was that pang in your heart? Why did it hurt so much?

“He won’t talk to us. Not while he has the demon tablet,” Dean tried to present his case.

“Yes, and that has to be the one thing he is actually doing well at the moment, keeping it away from you, good for him. Now if that is all then respectfully, get out of my palace.”

“Thank you, Belial.”

“Cas we can’t just-”

“We can and we will, Dean,” the angel as always responded firmly and apathetically. Castiel placed a hand on Dean’s shoulder ready to fly out of your throne room.

“Castiel,” you said, your voice louder than it had been before that it echoed around the room.

The angel did nothing more than look at you expectantly. “Be careful, I don’t believe any of this is going to end well for you.”

“I will be fine,” he said.

“No, angel, I mean it. I have this feeling, watch out, please,” this was the closest you had ever been to who you used to be.

“Okay.”

—

“You, you helped me, why? I- you said you wouldn’t,” Crowley fumbled as you freed him of his restraints.

“Trust me, it’s not personal. You’re just easier to overthrow than Lucifer. So, as many say, the enemy of my enemy is my friend.” The locks clicked, releasing the demon crouched beneath you. You dropped the chains to the floor and pointed back and forth between the two of you, “This little alliance will only last till Lucifer is back in his cage. After that, I will go back to ignoring your existence, other than me trying to take over Hell.”

“Well, I can’t say that isn’t logical. I suppose I’ll make do,” Crowley rubbed his wrists.

“There is no making due. Neither of us wants Lucifer in charge of anything. That would be bad for both of us.”

“Why is that so bad for you?” Crowley looked at you with curiosity in his eyes, “You want to ignore me forever. You wish the same for the Winchesters and Castiel. So why would joining Lucifer and letting him kill us to be so bad?” 

“I-” your loss for words was concerning to Crowley when it came to this form of you. The demon you was hard to throw off their game.

“Well?” He egged you on.

“How could you ever think that I want you dead?” your voice was low, as was your gaze. You avoided looking at him. Keeping your voice steady was harder than you expected.

It was Crowley’s turn to be at a loss for words. From the start, he had thought you wanted revenge as much as you claimed you didn’t. You were a demon after all, and you thought he and the others had wronged you. He fully expected you to fantasize about each of their ends.

Finally, your eyes found his face. He never thought he would see them as broken and hurt. The glossiness of your tears was begging to spill over. “You scare me. But never, ever believe that I want you dead. I can’t trust you. I can’t be around you, because I am afraid. Because I know if I have to I’d do it all again. Seventy-five years of torture to make me hate all of you, and only three to make me care for you enough to screw myself again. Fear is an incredible tool for motivation. So yes, I’m afraid of what Lucifer will do to me, but I am just as afraid of what Lucifer will do to you.”

——

“So you're the little demon ex-hunter Fergus is obsessed with?” the red-headed witch mewled.

“If you are asking rhetorically then you likely already know,” the answer was monotonous.

“I see why he likes you so much, this body of yours is most certainly a looker. You’re also far more mature and intelligent than the other demons.”

“Back off posh female Ron Weasley.”

“I’m afraid I don't know who that is.”

You rolled your eyes as she followed you like a dog seeking attention.

“Now, as I’m sure you’re aware, your son and I are not on speaking terms. Whatever he says to you about me does not pique my interest or concern,” you turned to walk away from the witch.

“What about the fact that there’s a human pregnant with Lucifer’s child,” her voice was smug, but her words made you stand straight. “I see that caught your attention, darling.”

“You have 10 minutes to tell me everything I need to know before I leave,” you growled at her, your black eyes attempting to bring fear into her soul.

“Well, that should be more than enough time. Once I finish with all the boring stuff, we can chat. My name's Rowena by the way. You should probably know that considering how much Fergus talks about you. With his enthusiasm I’ll one day be your mother-in-law.”

“I doubt it, considering,” you mocked her and gestured to your eyes. “Either way, as much as Crowley may talk about me, he most certainly talked about you.”

“All good things I hope,” she smiled at you. It was as if every gesture of hers and every action was manipulative by nature. You understood his hatred for her, she didn’t have a genuine bone in her body. You hoped for Crowley that would change, but at the same time, you wished she would finally let him go. He was far too caught up on the woman that never loved him the way she should have. But you would never tell him that, or anyone for the matter.

“Nope, even if there was any good to share, it would never have mattered, not based on everything else he told me about you.”

“Well,” she looked at you, for once appearing less devious, “I hope I can change that.”

“You can’t, and even if you technically could, it wouldn’t mean anything, because once more, I don’t care and I never will.”

———

Juliet nudged your leg. You were situated at the table in the bunker’s library. For the past year, you have riddled yourself with vigorous research and learning. You had been impressive before all of this, but with the extra reading and practice on spells, you were more powerful than you ever really imagined. You were more powerful than Sam, Dean, or Castiel ever expected you to become. It wasn’t necessarily healthy, but considering the track records of each of your respective companions, you were doing much better. 

The gorgeous black-coated supernatural dog whined a little to fully grasp your attention away from the article you were reading titled, He-Wolf/She-Wolf: a Study of Werewolf Transgenderism. You had honestly been curious about the intersectionalities of the two, but after a couple of pages in the read became more of one for pleasure than one for research. As much as you found it interesting it didn’t aid you in any of your studies. Still, you thoroughly enjoyed it, even bringing it up in conversation with the Winchesters and Cas when they talked to you. 

Placing down the paper you looked up at the adorable now one-year-old you had taken under your demonic metaphorical wing. Jack was the sweetest little antichrist you had ever seen.

“Hey kid, whatcha doing?”

He didn’t look happy, in fact, he looked unhappy and a little guilty. It made you sad to see him upset, after all, he was your one and only nephew, and you loved him dearly. He was the only reason you stayed around so much. The others you could care less about, but you’d damn yourself again for the boy before you. Juliet could sense his emotions as well, and ventured slowly over to the son of Lucifer. She gently brushed against the kid's leg. Without a thought, the boy petted the Hell Hound.

“Jack,” your voice was laced with concern, “is everything okay? Did something happen?” The boy looked away with sad eyes and the slightest pout, “come on kid it’s your birthday, you can’t wallow in your negative emotions with me around, not today.”

“Do you blame me?” he asked, looking back at you with tears in his eyes.

“Jack,” your voice broke as you stood up to embrace him, “of course, I don’t, whatever would I blame you for?”

Before you could reach him, he stepped back.

“Jack,” with every second you grew more worried.

“Because it’s my fault. Crowley would be alive if I had never been-“

“No,” you said firmly. But Jack only flinched. You didn’t waste time this go around, immediately engulfing him in a hug. “Don’t say that kid, don’t say that. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. I could never blame you, and either way, it wasn’t your fault. It was Lucifer’s and mine and Sam’s and Dean’s and Cas’ and Crowley’s. We all knew what we were up against, but you kiddo, you couldn’t possibly be at fault for anything that happened that day. I just got a little unlucky alright, the best thing that ever happened to me occurred on the same day that one of the worst things that have ever happened to me did. I love you, Jack, I love you, and I can tell you without a doubt none of it was your fault, but most importantly, none of it was your responsibility.”

“I’m sorry,” he cried into your shoulder as he gripped you right.

“Shhh, shhh, you have nothing to be sorry for,” you patted his head softly.

“I just-I just know how hard today must be for you. I know how hard it is for Sam and Dean to look at me- I” 

You pulled away, but only slightly. With precise movements you wiped the tears in his cheeks away, “It could never be hard for me to look at you, unless,” your voice cracked, “unless something happened to you, I- I love you, Jack. You're my nephew, you're the person I care about the most, okay? You could never make me truly mad or upset with you.”

Jack nodded the tears in his eyes finally slowing down, “I never wanted anyone to get hurt.”

“I know, Cas knows, Sam knows, Dean is getting there, and he should have already gotten there okay? Dean- Dean just- don’t let him get to you kid.”

“He has every right to-”

“He has no right,” you said clearly to Jack, “he has no right.”

“Thank you,” he sniffled.

“Always, kiddo.”

“I um- I found these,” he showed you the old photos of you and Crowley before you had become a demon. You carefully took them from his hands, avoiding looking at the photos of the two of you. It was a mystery as to how Jack found these, considering that you hid them away from prying eyes because you yourself refused to look at them. 

———

“Get off my throne,” you growled at the witch.

“Ah,” Rowena smiled brightly, “Y/n, I’ve been waiting for you to show up. How have you been?”

“I was doing fine until I heard you're quite non-demonic arse was sitting on the freaking throne of Hell! You are not a demon, Rowena, what in the name of my goddamn sanity are you doing?”

“Just filling in the position. No one else took a grab at it,” her nonchalance was really starting to piss you off.

“Fuck off, Rowena,” the witch gasped shocked at you and your words.

“That is no way to speak to your, Queen, or a friend for the matter,” she held a hand to her chest.

“Get off the throne,” you spoke through gritted teeth, eyes blackened, and voice course.

“Darling-” Rowena had yet to move.

“Get off his Throne!” your voice amplified at your outburst. Dark magic encircled you, inky black coils, spreading out from your body. Tears escaped your eyes with the same fervor and enthusiasm as Lucifer escaping the cage. 

Rowena wasted no time bounding from the throne and to you. You were so lost, so without focus. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay, Darling. I’ve got you. You’re going to be okay, everything is going to be okay. Shush child, let it out, let it out,” she tried to soothe you. To your surprise, it somewhat worked. She had calmed your angered state, but you were still a sobbing mess on the floor. With careful and caring intent she gracefully brushed your hair with her fingers, humming sweet melodies. 

It felt like hours, hours of Crowley’s mother combing your hair softly swaddling you and your grief. “It’s alright, Darling,” she cradled your face in her soft, deadly hands, brushing away stray tears that hadn’t been caught by the fabric of her skirt. “I suppose, well I suppose, Hell could always use another monarch, don’t you think? You would be a wonderful ally, you would make a wonderful leader.”

“Why couldn’t it be me? If I’d just- If I’d just told him that I, that I, that I lov-” your body broke down again, your throat aching for the sobbing to stop. Your eyes pleaded with you to stop mass-producing tears, but your heart couldn’t handle the hurt.

———

Your heart was doing better at handling it now. You sat beside, Rowena. Two thrones, two leaders of Hell, one King, and one Queen. All demons respected you, followed you, and were loyal to you.

You were the only demon that resented you for sitting on that damned throne. But that was only half the time. When you felt this way, it was often that those you still had around distracted you from those thoughts or blatantly told you how wrong they were. Sam often joined the both of you in Hell, enjoying his time with you and Rowena. Jack seemed to become like Rowena’s grandchild. She constantly taught him new things you had to reteach him about because of her adverse teaching style. Somehow out of the two of you, it was the demon that had the better grasp on morals. Castiel typically stopped by to grab Jack from your palace or frequented your palace with Dean. As always the two were as close as ever. 

Those two and Sam were practically Jack’s three dads. Dean had finally moved on from what had occurred between Jack and his mother. The idiot even apologized to Jack after all the shit he put the poor kid through. Like the bright little ball of sunshine he was, Jack forgave him instantly, despite you telling him that he didn’t have to accept the apology right away or at face value. Jack let your concerns roll off of him, telling you he knew Dean was being sincere.

It took you longer to forgive Dean. The hunter even tried apologizing to you. It left you a laughing mess because you couldn’t fathom what warranted his empty words. You had heard Dean say it himself, that he often apologized to Sam without even meaning it. With time and patience, you moved past his ignorance, realizing some of your own. It was often demons get bitter, your negative emotions heightened, and your positive ones lessened. One day when he and Castiel had come to pick up Jack you extended the olive branch necessary to replenish as much of your friendship as possible. Dean gladly accepted your offer, stating he would love to have your help on cases, whether it be research or the actual hunt. With a smile on your face, your gaze moved to the incredible Nephilim you had helped raise standing beside his chosen father. Your only last hope for all of them being that Dean finally confesses to Castiel as well.

The smile remained on your face for the rest of the day. Despite not needing sleep you were preparing to go to bed. The cell phone you had been gifted by the hunter brothers rang throughout your room just as you were moving aside your covers. Reaching over you received a nice greeting from Sam. It seemed Dean had told Sam what you had said earlier that day. Snapping your fingers, your cozy fleece pajamas were swapped for your preferred choice of royal attire. A quick swoosh and you appeared at the library in the Men of Letters base. 

———

You didn’t like this one bit. In fact, you dreaded this quite a lot. 

#Crowley #supernatural #supernatural x reader #dean winchester #sam winchester #jack kline #rowena macleod #fergus macleod #crowley supernatural #crowley x you #Crowley spn #crowley x reader #crowley spn x reader #Crowley supernatural x reader #King of hell #demon reader #mini series (hopefully) #angstish #let me know if I missed something #Castiel #i forgot castiel #How the fuck do I forget Castiel #He is my favorite character #Only just barely above Crowley #But oh my dear lord #Seriously #tell me if i missed anything #because wow #obviously I need sleep

[emotionallychargedtowel]

this bittersweet fragrance

I’m a bit of a fragrance nerd, so when the scent of tea olive/osmanthus started to be a sort of symbolic theme in Utsukushii Kare season 2 I looked into what osmanthus is supposed to smell like and how it’s been used in the fragrance world. Among other things, I was curious about how someone who doesn’t live in a region where tea olives generally grow might experience something resembling the smell of the actual flower. I thought I’d share what I learned here in case other folks were interested. 

The tea olive, or osmanthus fragrans, is a specific variety of osmanthus, and it’s the one that’s used in perfumery, so either term is correct here. Normally I’d use whichever term was more specific (in this case, “tea olive”), but in the perfume world, it seems the term everyone uses is the more general “osmanthus,” so that’s what I’ll use here.

Caveat #1: I’ve never smelled osmanthus in real life, nor have I smelled any perfumes that feature it heavily (at least, not that I know of--it wasn’t really on my radar before). I’d love to hear any thoughts from folks who’ve experienced it firsthand, especially if they know of a fragrance that captures the smell faithfully.

Caveat #2: I really am just a bit of a fragrance nerd, so apologies if I flub any details here. There are so many levels to this hobby that while I’ve been getting increasingly into it for some time now, I’m still very much a beginner. A couple more things to note first:

The processes for preserving the scent of osmanthus tend to result in an end product that is fairly different from the smell of fresh osmanthus. Of course, this is hardly unusual in perfumery. But the distinction matters if you’re curious about the scent that comes up in the show. (Personally, I went into this curious about both approximating the smell of osmanthus on the branch and about how the preserved form is used.)

Also, osmanthus mostly grows in East Asia but a lot of the biggest fragrance producers are based in the U.S. and Europe. So a lot of folks end up smelling osmanthus in a perfume context while having no way to tell if it resembles the actual plant. This means well-regarded osmanthus perfumes may smell good but not resemble the real thing much at all.

So, what do we know about what the tree in Hira’s backyard smells like? I mean, for those of us who don’t live somewhere where osmanthus fragrans is plentiful. There aren’t a ton of detailed descriptions of the smell of fresh osmanthus flowers online (or, not in English, anyway), but I found a few. It’s almost always supposed to have a jasmine-like quality as well as a sweet, fruity component. One person on BaseNotes described it as “buttery, warm, bright, only slightly fruity, with hay-like and wine-like qualities” (they seem to be in the minority in downplaying the fruity aspect). Some describe it as having a more noticeable green note than the osmanthus absolute used in perfumery, including a bitter greenness that could help to account for the “bittersweet” descriptor used in Utsukushii Kare. I also noticed that reviewers of osmanthus perfumes that are supposed to be on the realistic side often included references to suede, green tea, and/or soap, but I’m not sure how faithful those really are.

Then there’s the osmanthus absolute smell (or osmanthus extracted into other forms, like “concrete”). Not the fresh flower, but the scent that you get when you preserve it. People tend to describe it as having three main components. One is a fairly standard (and apparently, quite pleasant) white floral smell, similar to jasmine. The second is a fruity aspect. People usually compare it to stone fruits, especially apricot and peach, sometimes adding something about honey (e.g. “apricots in honey”) or even cream. The last of the three is a component people usually describe as “animalic” and/or smelling like leather. (”Animalic” refers to scents like musks that, when done right, stop just shy of actual stank and instead smell to us like sweat or a person’s skin scent, with all the affecting associations that come with that. In the past, the materials used to create those notes were usually from animal sources like civet oil, hence “animalic.”) This makes sense given that chemicals called indoles that show up in white florals are also often somewhat animalic (with the potential to cross into being downright foul). In addition to these three main aspects, osmanthus in its absolute form is also sometimes described as having green notes and/or woody notes, especially really resinous woods like oud.

If this sounds more complex than the average floral scent, that’s because (according to everything I’ve read, at least) it is. There’s a reason osmanthus is such a sought-after perfume ingredient. The complexity is a big part of it. Complex smells are just more interesting. Also, since it straddles a few different classes of scents (floral, fruity, and animalic), it’s useful as a note that can blend those types of notes together or place them in a more harmonious composition with one another. It’s also just more distinctive and novel than the typical floral scents we’ve all encountered time and again, at least to European and American noses.

Getting back to the smell of Hira’s tree, there are a few osmanthus perfumes that people say smell a lot like the real thing. Some of these are scented only with straight-up osmanthus, while others are sort of like collages, putting together a lot of different scents to create an osmanthus-like gestalt.

In one forum post I read, someone recommended the osmanthus balm from this China-based Etsy shop, saying that their wife, who was very familiar with the real thing, said it was the closest perfume she’d smelled to the real flower. It was also one of the most affordable options I saw. Some folks praised L’Occitane’s osmanthus line or the osmanthus soliflore oil from Dame Perfumery, but both have somewhat mixed reviews. (They’re also both on the affordable side, though the L’Occitane line doesn’t seem to be for sale from them directly in the U.S.) Inlé (Memo) is also supposed to be good, and on the realistic side. Osmanthus by The Different Company seems to have a big fan base, but also some detractors. The most well-regarded osmanthus perfume I ran across was Miyako (Auphorie). It gets great reviews and is supposed to have convinced legendary fragrance critic Luca Turin to come out of retirement to write about it because he was such a big fan.

In addition to all of these soliflores (single-flower perfumes) and perfumes where osmanthus is exclusively centered, there are a lot of interesting perfumes where osmanthus plays a notable role, but in a more varied context with other scents. A search on Fragrantica yields a long list of fragrances containing osmanthus, many of which sound promising. A few of the ones I ran across in my search made it onto my “to sample” list: Gucci’s Flora EDP, Serge Lutens’s Nuit de Cellophane, and Perris Monte Carlo’s Absolue d’Osmanthe.

Of course, while reading about all of this I got to thinking about what all these qualities of osmanthus might mean for Utsukushii Kare’s story. It has been brought up in a couple of ways on the show so far. The tea olive apparently blooms twice a year, in June and September, but it’s the latter that’s been referenced on the show. For Hira, it’s symbolic of the passage of time. Osmanthus represents his and Kiyoi’s “autumn of immaturity” that comes before “a winter of judgment.” He has a related belief, almost a superstition, that because he was separated from Kiyoi in the winter once before, it’s bound to happen again.

The bittersweet quality of the fragrance is also highlighted in the show. I think this is in reference to the combination of sweet fruity/floral and bitter green aspects some describe in the fresh flower scent. It’s fitting that bittersweetness, commonly a metaphor for ambivalence, is mentioned almost in the same breath as both Hira’s and Kiyoi’s contradictory feelings about their relationship.

Although the smell of osmanthus absolute is a further step away from what’s represented in the show, I think it has a kind of resonance with the story’s themes that is worth exploring. Basically, the combination of notes within the scent suggests youth, innocence, and sweet romance on the one hand and a kind of sweaty, dirty sensuality on the other. To break this overall picture down a bit: At the core is the jasmine-like white floral scent. White florals are associated with romance, femininity, and on the indolic end of the spectrum, a kind of heady, hypnotic sexiness. The apricot/peach aspect provides literal sweetness that mirrors the metaphorical sweetness of a loving relationship. The combination of apricot/peach and white florals is also often associated with youthfulness, even innocence. At the same time, the animalic aspect of osmanthus is sweaty and suggestive. When it links up with the indolic aspect of the white floral notes, they balance out the innocent associations with something more libidinous.

This combination could be said to be metaphorically fitting for any number of BLs or romantic dramas in general--what romance story doesn’t balance sweetness and sexuality?--but I think it’s a particularly good fit for Utsukushii Kare, in which a thread of somewhat warped sexuality is often intertwined with something surprisingly innocent and fundamentally sweet.

Well, I hope this is as interesting for others to read as it was for me to investigate. At some point I’ll probably give some of these osmanthus fragrances a try in sample form, and if folks are interested I’ll report back about that.

#utsukushii kare #utsukushii kare season 2 #utsukare #tea olive #osmanthus #perfume #BL smells