#revolution may seem like a good idea for someone with high ideals

[stellocchia]

There is one thing I sometimes mention in my rants about c!Dream’s and c!Tommy’s relationship that I never expanded on, which is c!Dream assiging c!Tommy an almost divine value, well, that changes now! 

Turns out I just cannot write short and concise analysis it seems, so I put everything under the cut...

/rp

I’ve talked a few times before about how Dream in his mind gives Tommy added value (again, Tommy has value as a human being already, but Dream most definitely doesn’t see that), but I want to go a bit more in depth about it. 

So, we know by now that Dream has been obsessing over Tommy for quite a while now, though it really worsened with the beginning of season 2. 

It is important to note that, at that point, Tommy himself was back on the idea of there being a friendly rivalry between him and Dream for the disk that was still in Skeppy’s possession, nothing more then that. He most definitely didn’t hate Dream yet (although their relationship has always been complicated) and he shouldn’t have posed much of a threat to Dream, right?

We also all seem to recognise that Dream would not have let up until Tommy was exiled, but I haven’t seen many people discuss the WHY of it. Why was it so important to him? Did he just do it because he hated Tommy? Did he do it because he was bored and wanted chaos? 

Well, I think it’s because Tommy DID pose a threat to Dream. He WAS a threat to Dream because Dream had seen him during Pogtopia. He had seen him rally the troops, he had seen him keep people’s morale high even after Wilbur detonated the tnt and Techno released the withers, he knew what Tommy could do if Dream threatened L’Manburg while he was there, even while not being president (I mean, he still managed to lead a revolution against Schlatt even while never being the official leader). And Dream wanted to get rid of L’Manburg because of what it represented, because L’Manburg represented freedom from him, freedom from his rules. L’Manburg was a HUGE problem, so he needed to take out what kept L’Manburg together and that was Tommy.

But that’s not the only thing. If Dream only wanted Tommy out of the way, he could have just let him unalive himself or he could have killed him himself and pretended it was an accident. Heck, he could even have pushed for an execution in the first place instead of the exile! But he didn’t... and later on, during the Season 2 Finale, he outright refused to kill Tommy even in self defence. So for Tommy to have so much importance that Dream needed to keep a constant eye on him in exile and keep him alive, Dream’s mentality of Tommy being sort of the “key” to power must have already been in place when he formulated the exile plan (perhaps it was there from before then, but we can’t know this for certain). 

I mean, he also ordered a whole prison that could have been meant to hold Tommy from the start (it has been confirmed by Sam out of character that it was made with c!Tommy in mind and the only indication that it wasn’t comes from c!Dream in a converstaion with c!Tommy, which we really shouldn’t trust at all) and a curious thing to notice on that, if that was the case, is that the prison itself is called “Pandora’s Vault”, why calling it “vault”? A vault is something that’s supposed to hold valuable items. It’s supposedly a secure location where you hide away your most precious things. Why calling a prison that? Anyway... that was just an interesting tid-bit I’ve been thinking about. 

Back on the main tangent now! 

So, what does Dream think of Tommy exactly? 

“Listen Tommy, since you joined the server, you’ve been a headache! Okay? You’ve brought war, you brought terrorism, you’ve brought bad everything! But! But! The cause of all the wars, of everything, was attachment, alright? Your attachment to the disks, your attachment to Henry, to pets, to friends, to land, to countries, to items, right? (...) That’s- That’s the one good thing that you’ve done. The one good thing you’ve done is that you brought attachment to the server. So it took me a LONG time to realize how important attachment was, but, when I did, you know? It made me stronger, and I realised that you- you’re- you’re important, right?”

This is a quote directly taken from the season finale. I know it’s a long one, but it’s seriously important. Because Dream, with this quote, just asserted that Tommy is the reason attachments exist at all, even if that isn’t true of course (the whole disk war was kickstarted by Ponk getting mad when Sapnap retaliated to his prank by burning down Ponk’s lemon tree because he was attached to it), but to Dream it is. 

Tommy, a normal human teenager with no “main character powers” (you know, like being a life and death god, or silk-touch hands, or having the brains to create nukes or being able to bring yourself back to life out of spite, basically he has nothing normally considered “special”) is deemed the reason why people are able to care at all. THAT is the added value I’m talking about. Dream doesn’t see Tommy as Tommy, he never did, he sees him as his own idealized version of him. And in Dream’s mind Tommy has so much importnace that, without him, attachments would just stop existing. “How do we know that” you ask? Well, why else would Dream have been so adamant about needing Tommy ALIVE? He already did his thing if bringing attachments was all the value Dream assigned to him. Now attachments exist, surely Dream can get rid of Tommy, right? Well, no. Because, as I said, to Dream Tommy is the embodiment of attachments. 

I mean, he admitted so in that quote, didn’t he? He starts by telling Tommy that HE is the cause of everything: of war, of terrorism, of everything. But then, then he says that those same things are caused by attachments. How can we have both be true at the same time? Easy, make Tommy the concept of attachment personified!

“If I can control the things people are attached to, then I can control the server again!”

All we said before kinda puts this more in perspective. THAT’S why Dream is in constant need of controlling Tommy. If Tommy is the embodiment of attachment in Dream’s mind, then he is the embodiment of control and power as well. Because, if controlling a singular attachment gives you control over one singular person, then controlling the embodiment of everyone’s attachments gives you control over the server right? 

“Look, it’s not fair! But Tommy listen: I need you, okay? I need you to keep bringing attachemnt to the server, because without you people weren’t really attached to things, but then you came and you brought ‘friendship’ and ‘countries’ and ‘things’ people can be attached to, right? And you brought that! And you’re- you’re the KEY, right? You’re the key to unlock the full potential of the server and power and everything”

Can’t get much more obvious then this... Dream literally described Tommy as “the key to everything”, that’s A LOT of extra value put on a random 16 yo. It would be a lot of value for ANYONE to have. In case it wasn’t clear, what Dream is saying is that controlling Tommy basically makes you a God. And, if it wasn’t clear enough yet, let me grab a quote from Tommy’s 3rd canon death stream:

“Tommy your life is literally IN MY HANDS, does that piss you off? Does that make you mad? Does it make you soo mad that I- you can’t kill me... I MIGHT AS WELL BE A GOD TOMMY! You can’t kill me and I can kill you!”

So, here’s the thing: killing Tommy is not that hard. A LOT of people on the server are stronger then him, even with the same equipment. At the same time killing Dream IS very hard. He’s literally one of the 2 best pvp-ers on the server. So why would this situation make Dream a “God”? Well, that’s because, based on his own philosophy, having Control over Tommy is what makes someone a God (it’s what gives you power over everything after all) and he here is fully in control. Not only because phisycally he is the stronger one, but also because Tommy admitted himself that he can’t kill Dream (Dream may wrongly assume that that’s because Tommy still has some attachment to him, which gives him another layer of control, truth is he’s just not much for killing people, the kid got too much empathy), which means he’s in control of Tommy’s mind and emotions as well to a certain degree. 

And here’s the thing: wouldn’t Tommy need to be somewhat godly himself to be the ONE THING that can grant people the ability to become a God? Dream, by now, has elevated Tommy to a point where Tommy himself might as well be God. That’s why Dream was so eager to become immortals together, to study the powers that make Dream now think even more that he is a God, together, because, in his mind, they’re already on the same level, albeit in a very skewed way (and I say a “skewed way” because Dream still doesn’t see Tommy as a person, he still sees him as a tool, only he is a tool that grants people godlyhood apparently). 

My theory on why c!Dream has this kind of perception of c!Tommy is because Tommy is his only remaining attachment. Dream got rid of all his attachments in order to gain absolute power, so he has to somehow justify to himself why this one particular attachment still doesn’t make him weak. Why still hanging onto Tommy (albeit in the most scewed up way possible) actually makes him stronger. He needs Tommy to be something more then a random 16 yo he once picked a fight with.

@ladycatland pretty sure you’d be interested

#dreamwastaken #tommyinnit #dream smp #/rp #tw abuse #character analysis #my post #I could go on so many rants about them... #but this one has been swirling around in my brain for a while now #tl:dr local green blob is convinced that a random 16 yo is god #said 16 just really wants therapy...

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

Mod, who are your top 10 favorite characters and top 10 least favorite?

//I have actually been wanting to discuss something like this, so I’m glad someone brought it up to me.

//I’ll go through with this, but I won’t be discussing my least favorites, since I don’t want to bring any negativity, and to be honest, I enjoy writing pretty much everyone in this blog. I also fear if I share who my least favorites are in the main series, said characters won’t get as many asks, and I don’t want any unfair bias. I can definitely admit to hating Haiji though, because...well...he obviously won't be receiving any questions anymore. Besides, I doubt many people will disagree with me.

Honorable Mentions:

Makoto Naegi

Mahiru Koizumi

Kirumi Tojo

Kaede Akamatsu

Tsumugi Shirogane

Shuichi Saihara

Iroha Nijiue

Mikihiko Koyasunaga

Yoruko Kabuya

Tsurugi Kinjo

Uchui Porosen

Kibin Hatsudoki

//Though to be honest, everyone may as well be an honorable mention because I love writing every single one of these guys. Also, like I just said, don’t let this top 10 affect your asks. I love every character in this blog and I’m happy to make asks for each and every one of them. It was really hard to narrow it down to 10

#10: Tenko Chabashira

This might seem a little surprising, given that Tenko hasn't had a whole lot of screen time and story relevance so far. She's only been prominent in two arcs, Deadly Harmony and Novoselic Revolution, both of which she didn't have as much screen time as most of the other characters. However, not to spoil anything major, I have big plans for her, and what I've pulled out of her so far is something I'm proud of. My main goal is mainly to give her a bit of development, and tone down on the sexism element of her character. Not remove it entirely, mind you, because let's be real, Tenko unfortunately isn't Tenko without it, but basically to not do what the DR dev team did and make it the forefront of her character, while her other exceedingly good traits are just at the back until later on in the story.

#09: Kokichi Ouma

Kokichi is one of, if not, my favorite character in the original DR series. My main goal of him in this series is trying to grapple with his constantly changing attitude, mainly towards the DRV3 cast besides himself. At first he's glad to see them, then he turns spiteful towards Shuichi and Kaede when they try to fight him, then he straight up just abandons them and attempts to cut off contact. As he is right now, he's conflicted about how to feel about everyone. Sure, they all still hate him, but during Cabaret Kyojin's they came to his defense when he most needed it. That whole arc might've seemed pretty pointless and acted as needless filler, but my true intention of it was to flesh out the characters involved, mainly Kokichi and Kuripa. Speaking of which, that's another plot point that I'm looking forward to branching upon: the little companionship those two have going on right now.

#08: Monaca Towa

Monaca is a character I actually tend to struggle with in the grand scheme of things. The reason being that, arguably, she in canon is the second biggest antagonist in the series behind Junko. What I tried to do with Survivor though, is not make her an antagonist, but make her slowly become more and more redeemable, despite her actions. The reason why I went with this approach is mainly due to Monaca's last appearance in the series, where she states to Toko and Komaru that she's kind of just done with everything to do with Junko and Despair. I don't think it would be easy to bring her back as an antagonist because of THAT fiasco, and that is legitimately one of favorite scenes of her...which is funny because it's from DR3 and I kinda hate the anime. Her whole presence in Survivor is based around the idea of trying to seek redemption, but she doesn't outwardly want to admit this, nor does she really think she's worthy or deserving of said redemption. She's an adult now, and she grew a conscience. A guilty one that weighs her down and makes her come back to earth to basically settle things and make peace, and though it's been difficult, I love how she's turned out so far.

#07: Akira Tsuchiya

I understand many have their reservations about Akira after what he did this arc, but he's still legitimately one of my favorite villains in this blog because despite the fact that he's a psychopath who kills and ruins people all just for causing Despair, he's just kinda super relatable. He constantly lives with the attitude of just being done with everyone's shit, and I know a lot of DR fans can relate to that. He's also the kind of guy who marches to the beat of his own drum, which is obviously a very slow beat. He rarely ever does what Tsumugi tells him to do, unless the plan interests him or gives him something to do, and his character in general is based around the idea of "Shut-in NEET who just so happens to have a power complex." Overall, what makes him unique to me is just how normal he is, especially when he's compared to the chaotic sea that is the Danganronpa Villains.

#06: Mikan Tsumiki

Novoselic Revolution had the very important role in the story of mending Mikan. Without her efforts and the sacrifices she made in that arc, there's a high chance that the group would have failed to retake the kingdom from Angie and Mikihiko. It goes without saying that the screentime Mikan got in this arc was some of my absolute favorite moments on this blog from a writers perspective. A lot of people in DR dislike Mikan for her actions and character change in the third case of the second game, which I really don't think is fair. Mikan was just the character chosen to be afflicted with the Despair Disease. Nothing else would have been changed had it been a different character, so her role early on in Survivor is mainly her trying to come to terms with her actions, as well as things like making things right with Hiyoko (and Ibuki by extrension) and reevaluating whether or not she's a good person. Mikan is an emotionally and mentally broken child, and it's my full intent in my writing of her to heal her wounds like she does for so many other people.

#05: Narumi Osone

Easily my favorite Zetsubou villain in the blog. During Novoselic Revolution, I really buttered up how much I enjoyed writing Mikihiko, but in reality, I was just waiting for the Rebirth Duo (her and Akira) to burst onto the scene. She didn't make for as great a twist villain in Life and Lies of Akeru Yozora as I would've liked her to be, but even now, I still feel like she left an impact. I mean, she committed quite the number of atrocities. The main reason why I like Narumi though, is how she diverges from the rest of the Zetsubou group. While most of them are doing their evil things for reasons that constitute to causing as much Despair as possible, she does it for almost the complete opposite reason. She absolutely despises Despair, and the only reason she's with Organization Zetsubou, is so that she can patiently await and watch as the Hope that stems from the people fighting back. It's also plays into her ideal. Narumi is so obsessed with Hope that she believes that anyone and everyone who is without hope, and gives into Despair, doesn't deserve to live (and ideal that also allows her to easily hit it off with Nagito). To name the best example: The UUV. Their revenge fantasy is based around the Despair they feel post Ayumu and Marin's deaths, and not around the Hope of their goal of reforming society, even if by force. When Narumi notices this, is angers her so much she murders all of them in cold blood, believing them to be beyond redemption. As a final note, Narumi's violent nature and lust for bloodshed (and lest not forget her weird obsession with Makoto) is also made all the more tragic when you remember she's literally just a 14 year old kid with not a lot of life experience. For someone to be this far gone at such a young age is pretty depressing, but it also provides me with a lot of great writing opportunities, and god damn it she isn't a fun character to write.

#04: Mukuro Ikusaba.

I could pretty much just copy/paste the basic things I said about Monaca's personal conflict for Mukuro, but on a much more extreme level. This is something that I plan on actually branching on later down the line, but Mukuro's backstory and reason why she has a presence here is briefly mentioned by Sayaka in one post. To sum up what she said, when the Foundation were first starting to use the machines to bring back the victims of the first killing game, Makoto was the one who suggested possibly bringing Mukuro back, something that understandably, his classmates initially were against. However, at the time, Kyoko was still new to being the Foundation Chairwoman, and Makoto very much pressed the issue with her. Kyoko eventually agreed to the resurrection, but in exchange, any and all actions committed by the soldier, most notably any treacherous or bad ones, would subsequently be Makoto's responsibility. Of course, as you can imagine, Makoto accepted these terms, and Mukuro was resurrected. For a while afterwards, many were very wary of her presence, and most didn't outright accept her as a member of the Foundation, even when the Remnants of Despair officially signed up. What you have to remember is that Mukuro wasn't really brainwashed into helping Junko, at least not in the same way that the Remnants were. Most of what she did for Junko is what she did willingly, but Makoto felt that in reality, Mukuro was just another one of Junko's victims and she'd never known Hope in her life, which is why she turned out so chaotic, so his whole intention of reviving her was to redeem her honor, of which he was pretty much successful. The main trait of Mukuro's though that I tend to focus on, is arguably her most serious: her PTSD. Of all the characters who could have been hit hard with PTSD, it makes the most sense for it to be a soldier, and since the beginning of her revival, Mukuro has been cursed by the lingering ghost of her dead Despair sister. Junko's presence in her mind less drives Mukuro insane though, and simply makes her doubt herself and her presence, wondering if it was worth being revived, or whether or not she truly deserves to live. But regardless of how she feels, she's duty bound to the end, and still supports everyone unquestionably, especially towards those in her own branch being Makoto, her boss, the man who saved her, and of course her undeniable love interest, and Kuripa to whom she disciplines, but also acts as a mother/big sister figure to.

#03: Hajime Hinata.

It might just be me, but I feel like Hajime in particular is the fan fav in this blog. I feel he's shown up in more posts than any other character, which is fine by me given he's also one of my personal favorite characters, and is probably my favorite protagonist (it really changes depending on my mood, honestly, I think they're all as great as each other). The remnants of Despair's conflict is an obvious one that you commonly see in post-game fics such as this one, and in Survivor, and my personal opinion, Hajime is undoubtedly the one who has it the hardest. However, out of all of the characters in the series who HAVE trauma (and let's be real, that's undoubtedly a LOT of characters in both DR canon, and this blog) he's also undoubtedly the one who handles it the best. However, there is a limit to how much pressure he can take, and that causes him to lash out (like he did with Mahiru during Misfortune's Revenge, which I know we don't like to talk about but its the most notable example). He's been through a whole load of shit and the pressure is constantly crushing him like a gigantic boulder, yet he still forces himself to carry it. Outside of my own writing, Hajime has so many conflicting thoughts and trauma in other fics, and in Survivor, I don't intend to flat out copy them, but I do desire to live up to them. The reason why Hajime has so many burdens placed upon him, and as of Misfortune's Revenge now has double as many, yet is still able to keep going strong, is because he's no longer allowing himself to be weighed down by events that are in the past and out of his control. What makes his ideal unique, is that he has power, almost limitless amounts of it, but instead of focusing on what he can do with it, he's more conflicted and focused on what he CAN'T do, and changing the past is one thing he can't, and as of such doesn't focus on it. He only ever focuses on the present, and the future, and worries about that. And you've got to hand it to the guy, while it's definitely been better, his life is actually super good right now. He has at least 15 really great friends/found family members, a home on an island resort, an AI companion in his phone who will always help him out and support him, a smoking-hot red-haired girlfriend, a pretty good job and a lot more. For him, it's not simply a matter of abiding by the Foundation and fixing the chaos that he indirectly caused. It's also about the fear of losing what he has, and wanting to protect it.

#02: Ayumu Fujimori.

I've said this one or two times before, but I think Ayumu turned out spectacular, and when I eventually had to kill him off, I felt really bad about doing so. The main reason why I removed him, and why I currently don't have any plans to bring him back, is due to my future plans, having him around would make little to no sense. He serves mainly as a catalyst for the new phase of the story, a much darker one, and with his death, we enter that phase. I know many people are worried about it, but it's not just Ayumu's reason for being in the story that makes him great. While it isn't obvious right away, the main character that I was trying to portray with him, is that he's basically the darker side of Hajime. The two of them share very similar traits in character, personality and backstory. Some notable points would be

Both of them are incredibly self-doubtful, and that self-doubt caused them to become Ultimate Hopes.

Both of them once held huge admiration for a powerful group of people. For Hajime it was Hope's Peak and for Ayumu it was the Japanese Government

Said power called them useless, which led to their transformation

Both have pretty sad backstories, which involve two different types of cruel parents and family's.

They both have a best friend who likes to sleep.

Said best friend ended up dying horribly right in front of them, with them both unable to do anything about it, which eventually leads them both to go insane and make some bad decisions.

Though their methods differ, ultimately, they both want the same thing: a brighter future for their friends and the people they love

Ayumu might be a threat, and an antagonist, but he doesn't really count as a "villain" per se. At the core, he's basically just a misguided young man, who the world treated like shit, so he just wants to get back at it. He's also an influential figure, pulling many people into his fight, and gaining many supporters outside of his friends in the UUV. For the short time he was on the blog, he was an absolute BLAST to write, and you can damn sure bet I'm going to miss him.

#01: Kuripa Kurafto.

This is undoubtedly the riskiest part of this list, especially since we're talking about an OC here, but I also think a lot of you guys saw this coming. I can understand why some of you might disagree with me on this placement, but I'll tell you now, if you're unimpressed, trust me, I am barely scratching the surface of Kuripa's character. As of such, I have to go on this based off of what's already known about him. His whole character I feel comes full circle at the end of the Ultra Despair Gang arc, in which the first monumental event in the blog actually happens: him killing Haiji Towa by stabbing him in the gut and sending him falling to his death. This is then followed by a speech to Makoto, Komaru, Toko and Byakuya, which basically lays out the key part of Kuripa's character, being his ideals. Every protagonist in Danganronpa goes by a certain ideal that contrasts that of their enemies. For Makoto, it's Hope, for Hajime, it's Future, and for Shuichi it's truth. Kuripa is the complete reverse, being a protagonist that represents Despair. He's not outright a villain, or even a generally bad guy, but he definitely has some apparent darkness to him, and is also incredibly violent when at the peak of rage. Of course, it all stems from a huge event in his life, the murder of his little sister Kotoko by the hands of Matta Gyalusetsu, which has led to his over-arcing conflict: his desire to find Matta and kill him as revenge. I tend to hate characters in stories who have the "My Sister is Dead" archetype or trope, but the main reason is because most characters who have that JUST have that, and for Kuripa that's something I'm trying to avoid. One of the most important parts of Kuripa's character is the contrast between his dark, almost psychopathic side that believes murder is a suitable way to indefinitely solve a problem, and his regular self, who to put simply, is a complete and total clown. He's like a walking meme, and makes a total fool out of himself, either through just being a mindless tomfool, a playful perv, or a loveable idiotic otaku. Still, his presence is indeed important to everyone around him, especially seen through his interactions with Makoto, Kibin, Mukuro, Uchui, Kokichi, The Kyojin's and the High Roller staff. This is another thing in regards to Kuripa's conflict that is quite saddening to. Similar to Hajime, as things currently stand, Kuripa has an excellent life. He's a successful animator who makes a lot of money from his work, he enjoys his time at the Future Foundation and really looks up to both Makoto and Mukuro who both treat him with a reciprocated amount of respect, he gets to work in tangent with his best friend, he has many pals, some of which are part of an anime club, and on top of it all, he has a cute girlfriend who playfully flirts back and forth with him all the time. He has everything a guy could possibly ever want, but due to his one track mind, he can never be satisfied knowing Kotoko's killer is still out there, and he will do whatever it takes to avenge her...even if he needs to cut a few people down to get it...

//Doing this kind of self-reflective character analysis is pretty refreshing and fun to be honest, although, doing it makes it sound like I have a big head, and am complementary of my own writing where I know many might disagree with my techniques and opinions. You're free to, believe me, but please keep any criticism constructive.

-Mod

#tenko chabashira #kokichi ouma #monaca towa #akira tsuchiya #mikan tsumiki #narumi osone #mukuro ikusaba #hajime hinata #ayumu fujimori #kuripa kurafto #self reflection

[farchanter]

Steven Hall: Maxwell’s Demon

It’s an unsettling business, when you really look at it.

Unsettling to think that when we read a novel, we’re burning through years of a writer’s life in a matter of hours. Unsettling too, though in a different way, the realisation that a reader will rarely have any sense of the temporal disparity at all. From a reader’s perspective, the words invite movement across a page at an obvious pace, sometimes racing, sometimes ambling, sometimes moving with a slow, deliberate creep, and for all the world as though the writer is right there alongside the reader, that the two are in this together, tiptoeing, then sprinting, then pausing for breath at one another’s side. But none of that’s true. The truth is, it took me forty-eight minutes to get from writing the words ‘It’s an unsettling business’ to here, to build that little road with its various curves, slopes and rises. To work it over, to stamp its surface as flat as I possibly could, to do my best to ensure you wouldn’t trip or stumble along the way. How long did it take you to go from there, to there, to here?

Since I committed to reading more books a few years ago, I’ve read some outstanding work. My favorite discovery, however, is likely Steven Hall’s debut The Raw Shark Texts. It’s a literary laser-beam targeted right at me— it’s an ambitious, cerebral, maybe even somewhat pretentious horror story built around the idea of the transformative power of communication. It lives in a space adjacant to Mark Z. Danielewski’s seminal House of Leaves, and comes closer to that mark than any fiction I’ve read since. I don’t know that it’s strictly the best book I’ve read on this journey, but it’s such a big story— such a titantic swing for the fences— that I couldn’t help but fall in love with it and its warts.

So, when it came out that Hall’s second novel— this, Maxwell’s Demon— I was both excited and nervous. Nervous, because when an author succeeds with a book as high-brow and artsy as The Raw Sharks Texts, that tends to give them the license they need to turn their next work into something even more into the avant garde— and this jump is particularly difficult to do well. After all, House of Leaves was followed by Only Revolutions— despite that novel’s success, I found it so prose-y as to damage one’s ability to consume the story.

It came as quite the surprise, then, that when Maxwell’s Demon was finally in my hands it came across as much more restrained than The Raw Shark Texts.

Thomas Quinn is a writer living in a shadow. His father, Stanley, was one of the most celebrated journalists and poets of his generation. When his mother passes away, his father all-but vanishes from Thomas’s life, too— but not from the public. In fact, Stanley takes up a protégé— a fiction writer named Andrew Black who goes on to write Cupid’s Engine: in-universe, one of the most popular and world-changing novels of all time. And right there, on the cover, is the glowing accolade of Stanley Quinn.

Once Stanley passes, however, Black and Thomas strike up an unusual relationship. On one side is Black, one of the most venerated popular English novelists of all time. The literary press styles him as Stanley Quinn’s stylistic son. On the other is Stanley’s actual son, an author struggling to make ends meet. Yet, through Stanley, they are bound— one bitter of the other’s relationship, the other curious in turn. That strange partnership leads Black to send Quinn a mysterious photograph of an unsettling black orb. In investigating, Quinn starts down a rabbit hole of people who believe in a magical power of the written word— not magical in the sense that one’s eighth-grade English teacher would use it, but instead a literal supernatural force with the power to change reality.

In many ways, Maxwell’s Demon is an extension of the philosophy Hall explores in The Raw Shark Texts— the idea that humans don’t simply write down things that happen to them or wish would happen. Instead, the act of writing has a real ability to prescriptively recontextualize and alter the world around it.

If The Raw Shark Texts is that philosophy viewed through the lens of the horror genre (and particularly a House of Leaves lens), then Maxwell’s Demon is that same philosophy presented as a mystery novel (and, especially, it makes no pretense about what it owes The Da Vinci Code).

There’s a lot to like here, and once the book hits its stride you find yourself on a fun pendulum: you’re fully willing to accept a supernatural cause before Hall slowly presents evidence to walk you back to a mundane explanation, right before another shocking moment which casts the entirety of that mundane explanation into doubt— and the cycle begins again. Once we got there, I couldn’t read through the story fast enough.

There are two problems, after a fashion, with Maxwell’s Demon. I mention in the previous paragraph that the story has a good pace once it gets rolling, but it takes a while for that to happen. Relatedly, it lacks the “popcorn movie” feel that defines Dan Brown’s writing, the “pageturnability” that leads you to plow through Angels & Demons in one night. Brown is an expert at ending each chapter in a particular way to compell you to continue, to read just one more, which Maxwell’s Demon doesn’t do. This may be a deliberate choice— I’ve heard other writers refer to Brown’s technique as “cheap tricks"— but between the relatively slow build-up of the relationship between Black and Quinn and Hall’s predilection to philosophical explainers, I don’t think he quite nails the difficult highwire act between high-concept metafiction and mass-market pop culture he was shooting for.

There’s a truly startling twist ending here, and it achieves the same thing that a lot of modern mystery stories do— it’s so shocking it overpowers the part of your brain that would ordinarily realize that it makes no sense. If one were coming to Maxwell’s Demon purely as a mystery, one would find it disappointing. The careful layering of evidence and use of negative space which defined, say, Agatha Christie is absent. There’s no real plausible way to deduce what’s really going on from a plain reading of Maxwell’s Demon, and that would bother genre fans.

But, to my mind, this isn’t really a mystery story— it wears the clothing of a mystery, but those trappings are a vehicle for Hall’s metaphysics more than a sincere adoption of the genre per se. As someone who enjoys those metaphysics, I similarly enjoyed Maxwell’s Demon.

There’s a recurring theme of inadequacy in the story, and it humanizes Thomas Quinn to the point where it’s painful and upsetting to read. He holds an idealized version of himself— he is Thomas Quinn, novelist— but over the course of Maxwell’s Demon that ideal is slowly burned away. He is a man undergoing an identity crisis, and it feels so personal that a reader’s heart goes out to Quinn. He comes to realize that he is failing as a writer— on the verge of financial catastrophe. His wife is a successful scientists chasing down her dream, and he comes to realize that he is inadequate as a partner to her— that he is failing her romantically and sexually. He carries the weight of losing both parents, and of his father’s seeming discarding of him for Black. These bitter pills lead Quinn to make some very poor choices— but, with the care Hall takes in painting these inadequacies as the background for Quinn’s character, we can’t help but understand why he makes them. The outstanding humanization of Thomas Quinn, the careful characterization, is what carries the novel.

After two books, it’s fair to say that Hall has difficulty writing women. In both The Raw Shark Texts and Maxwell’s Demon, the characters have brilliant wives who work tirelessly to pull their husbands out of the mud. But they don’t necessarily have a ton of depth of their own— in the case of Maxwell’s Demon’s Imogen, her primary role is to shine so brightly that we both can’t look at her directly and cast all the darker Thomas’s shadows. She is the Guide on Thomas’s Hero’s Journey, but she does not seem to grow otherwise.

Possibly a spoiler in this next paragraph, although I’m going to endeavor to not spoil the entire mystery.

In fact, Hall’s tiny cast of women serves as an interesting literary device here. The moment the mystery ends, where the ending begins, involves the use of a "she” where we were expecting to read a “he”. Because there are so few women in the story— and every one of them is accounted for at that moment, save one— that single change of pronoun, that single added character is enough to collapse the wave function of the mystery into its only possible remaining solution.

So, all that to say: Maxwell’s Demon is more thoughtful than it is engrossing, but that thoughtfulness— the idea of writing as a literal magic— makes for a fun read.

#books #completion list #todo #review #steven hall #maxwell's demon #mystery #horror #metafiction #the quarantine list

[chelseamount]

Carpool Karaoke - Tom Holland x Reader

BEFORE YOU READ IMPORTANT 

when there are songs

cursive is you

BOLD is James

and This  is both of you

this story was requested by @tomsirishgirlx​ 

---

"Thank you so much for helping me to work today the traffic is crazy" James

"yeah no problem," I say

"you wanna listen to some music?"

"let's do it"

"Are we gonna have a problem?

You got a bone to pick?

You've come so far why now are you pulling on my dick?

I'd normally slap your face off And everyone here could watch But I'm feeling nice Here's some advice Listen up beeyotch"

"I like"

Lookin' hot

Buying stuff They can not

"I like"

"Drinking hard Maxing dad's credit card"

I like

Skippin' gym Scarin' her Screwin' him

I like

Killer clothes

Kickin' nerds in the nose

If you lack the balls You can go play dolls Let your mommy fix you a snack(whoa)Or you could come smoke Pound some rum and coke In my Porsche with the quarterback (whoa, whoa, whoa)

Honey, what you waitin' for? Welcome to my candy store Time for you to prove you're not a loser Anymore And step into my candy store

Guys fall At your feet Pay the check Help you cheat

All you Have to do

Say goodbye

To Shamu

That freak's Not your friend I can tell In the endIf she Had your shot

She would leave You to rot

Course if you don't care Fine, go braid her hair Maybe Sesame Street is on(whoa)

Or forget that creep And get in my jeep

Let's go tear up Someone's lawn (whoa, whoa, whoa)

Honey, what you waitin' for? Welcome to my candy store You just gotta prove You're not a pussy Anymore And step into my candy store

You can join the team

Or you can bitch and moan

You can live the dream

Or you can die alone

You can fly with eagles

Or if you prefer

Keep on testing me

And end up like her

Honey, what you waitin' for?

Shut up, Heather! Step into my candy store

Time for you to prove You're not a lame-ass Anymore And step into my candy store

It's my candy store It's my candy It's my candy store It's my candy It's my candy store It's my candy store

"I think I just got chills there," James says as we laugh "so Y/n it's so great to have you here"

"it's so great to be here it's like a dream come true" I smile

"y/n you are a Broadway singer and actress"

(all of these musicals and movies don't really make sense with the years they were made in but just imagine that they fit the age the reader is if that makes sense"

"yes that's correct"

"so what was your first role like ever"

"ever was Jan in grease"

"really" James looks at me

"yeah I was so happy"

"that's amazing and you were how old"

"fourteen"

"wow and what was your first broadway musical"

"that was heathers as the role of heather chandler as we just heard"

"I love the heathers songs and you are still in contact with some of your co-workers right"

"right I am really close with Barret who played Veronica but we don't get to see each other too much but when we do it's amazing"

"but you two played in mean girls too right"

"right I played Regina George and she played Janis, and that was probably one of my favourite musicals I have been in because obviously mean girls was like my favourite movie when i was younger"

"yeah so what was your favourite song from mean girls"

"oh totally world burn I think it's amazing"

"My name is Regina George And I am a massive deal I will grind you to sand Beneath my Louboutin heel This is what I get for helping Helping someone lame fit in Cady Heron, enjoy your temporary win" I sing "My name is Regina George "Regina is a fugly cow." Hey Cady, how ya like me now? I wanna watch the world burn I got the gasoline I wanna watch the world burn And everyone get mean I wanna watch the world burn I got the gasoline I wanna watch the world burn And everyone get mean Cady, time to watch your back Cady, time to turn and cough Because you took me down But you didn't finish me off My name is Regina George And in case you're keeping score Cady may have won the battle But I will win the war, for I wanna watch the world burn Trang Pak is a grotsky bi-otch! I got the gasoline Ms Norbury is a drug pusher! I wanna make the world burn Janis is a space dyke! Regina is a fugly cow Regina is a fugly cow And you can quote this Ohh. Woah-oh-oh! Who wrote this? Who wrote this? Who wrote this? I wanna watch the world burn I got the gasoline! I wanna watch the world burn And everyone turn Mean So mean! Mean So mean! Mean! I wanna watch the world burn Who wrote this? Who wrote this? I wanna make the world turn So mean! I wanna watch the world burn!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"y/n you were in les misérables too"

"yes I played fantine which was amazing but it hit hard you know it was very much touching

There was a time when men were kind When their voices were soft And their words inviting There was a time when love was blind And the world was a song And the song was exciting There was a time

Then it all went wrong

I dreamed a dream in times gone by When hope was high and a life worth living I dreamed, that love would never die I dreamed that Go

d would be forgiving Then I was young and unafraid And dreams were made and used and wasted There was no ransom to be paid No song unsung, no wine untasted

But the tigers come at night With their voices soft as thunder As they tear your hope apart As they turn your dream to shame He slept a summer by my side He filled my days with endless wonder He took my childhood in his stride But he was gone when autumn came And still, I dream he'll come to me That we will live the years together But there are dreams that cannot be And there are storms we cannot weather I had a dream my life would be So different from this hell I'm living So different now from what it seemed Now life has killed the dream I dreamed

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

"that literally just made me get tears in my eyes," James says as he points to his eyes

we laugh and talk for some time when the thing I have dreaded the most comes up

"so y/n I have to ask you this because everyone wants to know encluding me"

"oh no gosh I know what it is already"

"are you dating tom holland"

"oh god Tom and I are just good friends"

"really because your two have been spotted a lot of times holding hands"

"friends do that"

"sure"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

"Regina George is the queen bee

She's always dressed up She always wins Spring Fling Queen We're just drones that work for her And then die"James says as he turns on the radio

"My name is Regina George

And I am a massive deal Fear me, love me Stand and stare at me And these, these are real I've got money and looks I am, like, drunk with power This whole school Humps my leg like a chihuahua the prettiest poison you've ever seen I never weigh more than one-fifteen My name is Regina George And I am a massive deal I don't care who you are I don't care how you feel"

-------------------------------------------------------------------

"so y/n, let's get a little serious"

"yes" I say

"in this song, you sing 'i never weigh more than 115' but you said something in a video that Regina doesn't have to be that and that you aren't and i found that amazing"

"thank you I really don't think that she has to be that and I am not and will never be near that and I'm proud of that you should be proud of how you look"

"I love that. you're also in a musical right now hamilton"

"yes I am in England"

"so any plans for what you are going to do after hamilton"

"yes but it's a secret for now

"Okay but you play one of the Schuyler sisters"

"yes I play Eliza"

"and you're amazing in it I saw it some time ago and I love it as I wrote to you"

"it still warms my heart"

"but my biggest dream is being in hamilton but as one of the Schuyler sisters"

"mmm-hmm" I laugh

"I wanna be angelica"

"you can be James"

There's nothing rich folks love more Than going downtown and slumming it with the poor They pull up in their carriages and gawk at the students in the common Just to watch 'em talk

Take Philip Schuyler, the man is loaded Uh oh, but little does he know that His daughters, Peggy, Angelica, Eliza Sneak into the city just to watch all the guys at

Work, work

Angelica!

Work, work

Eliza!

And Peggy!

Work, work

The Schuyler sisters

Angelica!

Peggy!

Eliza!

Work!

Daddy said to be home by sundown

Daddy doesn't need to know

Daddy said not to go downtown

Like I said, you're free to go

But—look around, look around The revolution's happening in New York

New York

Angelica

Work!

It's bad enough Daddy wants to go to war

People shouting in the square

It's bad enough there'll be violence on our shore

New ideas in the air

Look around, look around

Angelica, remind me what we're looking for

She's looking for me!

Eliza, I'm looking for a mind at work (work, work) I'm looking for a mind at work (work, work) [x2] Woa-oah

Woa-oah

Work!

Ooh, there's nothing like summer in the city Someone in a rush next to someone lookin' pretty Excuse me, miss, I know it's not funny But your perfume smells like your daddy's got money Why you slummin' in the city in your fancy heels? You searchin' for an urchin who can give you ideals?

Burr, you disgust me

Ahh, so you've discussed me I'm a trust fund, baby, you can trust me

I've been reading Common Sense by Thomas Paine So men say that I'm intense or I'm insane You want a revolution? I want a revelation So listen to my declaration:

"We hold these truths to be self-evident That all men are created equal"

And when I meet Thomas Jefferson (unh!) I'mma compel him to include women in the sequel

Work!

Look around, look around at how Lucky we are to be alive right now Look around, look around at how Lucky we are to be alive right now

History is happening in Manhattan and we

Just happen to be in the greatest city in the world In the greatest city in the world!

---------------------------------

"All my dreams just came true," James says as I laugh at his comment "okay now time for something a little different"

"oh gosh," I say "what is it"

"we're going to take a lie detector test"

"nooo"

after some time I'm all strapped up while a man is on a computer checking whether I speak the truth or not

"okay let's start out by some to test if it works"

"okay"

"is your name Y/n"

"yes"

"true"

"are you currently in hamilton"

"yes"

"true"

"did you play Regina George"

"yes"

"she's telling the truth"

"Great let's start easy so...Y/n"

"yes"

"Which one of your castmates is your favourite"

"Barrett"

"true"

"great, y/n am I your favourite host"

"oh absolutely"

"true"

"yes you had to get that right, okay this one is the best one are you dating tom holland"

shit

"no"

"lie"

"YES I KNEW IT I KNEW IT OMG YES" he smiles

"no that's the truth," I say

"you can't lie on accident"

"well fuck me then"

"how long"

"not long"

"lie"

"okay five years almost"

"WHAT," James says in shock

"I'm sorry we just didn't want our relationship the get ruined by hate"

"five years"

"yeah"

"When were you going to tell everyone when you had seven kids"

"haha no I don't know when but I guess it's out now"

"well some people are going to get heartbroken, someone gets hurt"

-----------------------------

Ice queen, that's what you see It's what they all expect from me But it's all show Face it, you used me You saw the sexy clothes My supermodel pose But did you know?Was I a game to you? Was I way to be cool? I truly cared Was I the fool? It's fine for you It's fine to flirt It's fine 'Till someone gets hurt 'Till someone gets hurt

----------------------------------

"Y/n it was amazing to have you here"

"it was amazing to be here James, even tho I now have to go home to Tom and tell him the news, gosh this is so fucked"

"wait you guys live together too"

"bye James" I run out the door

--------------------------------

"Baby I'm home" I smile

"hi love," Tom says as he walks over to me and kisses me, gosh I missed him

"I missed you," I say

"I missed you"

"you love me right"

"more than anything my - wait what did you do"

"well"

#tom holland #tom holland imagines #tomholland #tom holland imagine #tom holland au meme #tom holland fanfiction #tomhollandimagines #tomhollandxreader #tomhollandxyou #tomhollandimagine #tom x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #peter parker #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker imagine #peter parker headcanon #peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #peter parker imagines #broadway!reader #tom holland x broadway!reader #harrison osterfield #harrison osterfeild imagine #harrison osterfeild x reader #imagine #imagines #marvel

[readingsbylibramc]

aspects chart reading for @starflowersx

hello! welcome to your reading. I’m gonna give you a quick overview of what I’m going to analyze about your natal chart. feel free to ask me anything if something isn’t clear, of course. you’ll find out your dominants’ influence on your persona, your physical appearance, impression on others and the way you approach the world; your ego, identity, the real you; your reactions, your desires, inner emotions; your way of expressing your feelings, your mind and ideas; your desires and approach to love; your energy tank, instincts and temperament; in-depth analysis of each house with their rulers and analysis of heavy aspects; love life + soulmates/karmic partners interpretation; your relationship with your friends; your family life; your approach to career and work in general + possible jobs suggestion; your style, fashion sense analysis; life purpose and past life description; basic transits’ analysis to describe your current mood and, last but not least, your secret skills, how to make the most out of your soul and manifest what you desire based on your birth chart.

🦋 chart shape, dominants

your chart is a bucket shape, with the moon as the handle of the bucket. your moon is in the 8th house, hence matters regarding transformation, death and spirituality will be your priorities in this lifetime. you also have clear ideas about your future and who you want to be. even though you may have different passions and talents you’re capable of only sticking to one and mastering it, giving your all.

your dominant planets are mercury, pluto and jupiter. you are a very intelligent person, you're probably extremely open-minded and you have a philosophical mind. you could have a knack for writing, and you may be particularly good at it. you're also interested in foreign cultures, you may be able to speak more than one language and you could interact with people from all over the world throughout your life. you're also very intuitive, even though you could be a bit moody sometimes.

your dominant sign is scorpio. you may have trust issues and be quite of a loner, yet once you commit to someone, you'll be in for a long ride. you are very deep, both mentally and emotionally. you may struggle with power control, as you may have the perception that people are trying to take advantage of you due to your insecurities. because of that, you may also get quite possessive and bossy.

your dominant element is water. you're very intuitive and empathetic, you care a lot about others, and you may seem like a healer to people you know. in fact, you always try to help them if you can, almost in a therapeutic way. you're also very spiritual, and you're attracted to anything related to discovering your higher self and soul purpose.

🌎 ascendant in virgo, 24° / 3rd decan ruled by mercury and venus

you have a practical approach to the world. you’re kind of logical, it’s hard for you to improvize. you always want to keep everything neat and organized, at least in your mind. you could have a natural coldness to your face. you may seem a bit older than you are, or at least very mature and responsible, even though you may be more outgoing than you look due to your many gemini placements. with your attentive eyes, you pay attention to every single detail you see. you’re a perfectionist, and you always want and try to be at your best state. I would say you’re quite competitive when it comes to your goals, but you don’t really do it to be above others. you do it because your obsession for details kind of stresses you out. improving and proving yourself is a way to boost your self-esteem, you feel fulfilled when you can achieve your goals. you are extremely intelligent and logical, you’re always up for a deep talk or simply for an occasion to gain more knowledge. you like being smart, you always want to know about everything. even the latest, trendy meme counts for you. your nature is very cautious; you’re rarely impulsive, you always think deeply about your decisions, as you don’t want to commit any mistakes. because of that, you can be particularly picky. not only with material things such as movies, books, food etc. but even with people. it’s hard for you to open up to someone you don’t know at all. you take things slow, both in friendships and in relationships, just to preserve yourself. you may come off as kind of snobby, but you’re just misunderstood. you don’t like flaky bonds, you need security in your life. physically, as I’ve already mentioned before, you have this kind of strict look on your face. your eyes may be almond-shaped, and you could have a natural feline gaze. overall, you have something smaller about your features; you could have thin lips, a small nose, small eyes… you could have a smaller frame with thin bones. you may be of average height, and I’ve noticed that most virgos tend to have pretty long legs? no matter if they’re tall or not, their legs will still be longer than their bust. you may also have very dark hair and / or eyes, as well as a defined facial structure with high cheekbones.

virgo ascendant trine taurus moon: you appear way more sweet and approachable than your scorpio sun, virgo rising, which is obviously very beneficial for you. you can read people's mood very well, it's easy for you to understand whether someone is sad, angry, happy... because of that, you always try to make people feel at ease, you're always kind with people, and that makes you extremely likeable. also, since the moon makes a pleasant aspect to the ascendant, you're probably a very genuine person. it's hard for you to hide your real emotions, and even if you wanted to hide them you wouldn't be capable. you could also have frequent mood swings. you have a strong sense of family and comfort to you, and hence it's extremely essential for you feel at ease to truly be yourself. let's suppose you're with a group of friends, and they suddenly bring someone with them that isn't very nice; you would probably get very stiff, and your mood would immediately go down. you also tend to be like a mother / sister to others, you hardly ever have superficial bonds.

virgo ascendant square sagittarius jupiter: you probably learn a lot from people around you. you're most likely surrounded by wise, spiritual and possibly foreign individuals in your life. they help you to grow up, both spiritually and mentally. this placement also softens your rough scorpio image, making you look more outgoing and approachable. you're also very open-minded, and you rarely have prejudices. the downside to this placement is that you may be depend too much from your friends or lovers, especially when it comes to your beliefs. you're easy to influence, and you may change your mind often if others disagree with you. you could possibly have high expectations from others, creating a false idea of those who surround you. at least, you're aware of your abilities and you have the potential to make the most out of them, but you're modest about it. you don't come off as bossy, as other jupiter - asc aspects would.

virgo ascendant square pisces saturn: you may be shy and have self-esteem issues, especially during your early years. because of that, you may often appear as insecure to others, or even unreliable. you have a strong desire to be with someone and commit to them, you despise supertificial bonds, but at the same time you may find yourself being too shy to approach others, especially during your early years. you don't feel much comfortable around other people, and others can sense that; your insecurity is exposed to the world, and some may take advantage of that to hurt your feelings. you're afraid of being judged, whether it's for your appearance, or maybe because of your ideals or interests. hence, you end up becoming reserved. this is something that will be solved through growth and time; the older you get, the easier you'll be on yourself. also, thanks to this aspect, you're a responsible person with defined values. to cope with this placement, I'd suggest you to do what makes you feel the best. there are different ways to boost your self-esteem, so maybe you can work on that and then start expressing yourself freely; if you do it without the fear of being judged, you will shine even more.

virgo ascendant trine capricorn neptune: you appear as a very genuine and honest person. you have a reassuring aura about you, which could attract people to you. in fact, you seem and sound like a healer, hence broken people may find comfort in you. you’re an hopeless romantic, and this may make you look sort of naive, almost childlike. you feel the need to revolution the world, there’s an hidden rebel in you that needs change and justice. yet, you struggle to take action. it’s like your assertiveness is stuck deep inside of you, and you can’t take it out. hence, you cope with this through escapism; you may oversleep, overwork, drink, daydream, do drugs… anything that allows your mind to travel away from your sense of justice. you always want to be seen likeable, hence you may act differently based on the situation you’re in. identity issues are also common when the ascendant aspects neptune, as you may feel the need to be part of a group, yet you can’t. you’re too complex to be part of only one category, you can’t classify yourself. in addition, you may often be, or at least look, sleepy, absent, as if you were from another world.

virgo ascendant trine capricorn uranus: you are very independent and open-minded, you hardly ever judge someone from its appearance, for example. you are fond of friendship, it's most likely more important than love for you, but at the same time you're more of a loner. you'd rather spend the day in watching your favourite show on the couch than going out and partying. your self-esteem most probably fluctuates a lot: some days you're very confident, especially in your skills / abilities, and maybe as well in your appearance. other days, though, you start feeling pretty insecure. you're very unpredictable, not only from this point of view, but in your life in general. you strive for freedom, you don't want to force others into thinking the same way as you do when it comes to shallow opinions. your life philosophy is most likely 'live and let live', everyone is free to do what they want for you. on the other hand, you're most likely an amazing friend, as you know what it means to support and help an individual or a group. you're an ideal leader, basically.

virgo ascendant sextile scorpio pluto: you see the world as a place full of dangers and malice, hence it’s hard for you to trust people. this may be translated through fear; you’re either scared of other people, and hence you look more vulnerable, or maybe you’re the one who prefers to look intimidating to avoid problems. you can sense others’ emotions very well, so they have no secrets for you. you can perceive any single emotion in people just by looking in their eyes. while this is good, as you understand who’s best for you and you’re aware of the dangers you may face, pluto in contact with the ascendant tends to make one take advantage of this and be a little manipulative. this awareness of the world makes you look mysterious and secretive, as if you always know something more than others (and you probably do). pluto is also the planet of transformation, and you might experience a lot of rebirths throughout your life, both physically and emotionally. you might lose/have lost a big amount of weight, for example, which makes you look like a different person. or maybe, you like dying your hair of a different colour, giving you a different vibe.

🌞 sun in scorpio, 14° / 2nd decan ruled by pluto and neptune

you're quite of a loner, you prefer spending time alone rather than with others. you're extremely intuitive, and you can read people like a book; they can't lie or keep secrets from you, you'll surely find out. you're pretty charismatic, and paired with your wise intellect it's hard not to agree with your ideas. you're basically a leader, a very demanding one. you have high standards regarding everything: clothes, food, goals, people... you're always striving for the best, you don't want to settle down. on the other hand, even though it may take you a while to find someone worth of your affection, once that someone shows up you'll stay with them forever. you're deeply loyal, and also caring in your own way. that's because you value feelings, you can easily smell when someone isn't trustworthy. you're probably very protective of your friends and loved ones in general, sometimes even too much. this could even escalate and become a more serious issue, as scorpio is also the planet of obsession, after all. it's common for you to feel your emotions x2, as they're too intense to handle. you know everything about others, but you don't show off and gossip about it. actually, you keep the info for yourself and use it when you need it.

scorpio sun opposite taurus moon: you're the type to start lots of projects, always feeling like you need to transform yourself or your routine. you're very self-aware of your identity, as you're constantly in contact with your feelings. you may even appear as too emotional, as the sun brings all your emotions out to see. this placement most likely makes it hard for you to make choices, you are very indecisive; on one side, your taurus moon wants comfort, you crave security, almost laziness. your scorpio sun, on the other hand, wants change, transformation, and hence you tend to struggle with balance. as a result, you may change your mind often, and people could possibly picture you as shallow or unpredictable. you're interested in knowing more about your roots, your childhood, and also about having a family in general. when you were young, you probably were even more energetic than now. you could be the type to look nostalgically at your old pictures, and you care about your mother a lot. you're also very interested in your own culture; you're not afraid to show the world your interests, reactions and opinions. the problem with this opposition is that the individual may become so self-sufficient at the point that doesn't let anyone interfer in their life. it's obviously a good thing to do when someone tries to hurt you, but there's the risk it may happen even with people that are trying to help you if not well-developed. last but not least, your parents' relationships might have had impact on your growth. maybe they're divorced, and one of them had to compensate for the missing parent; perhaps, one of them was highly influenced by the other.

scorpio sun conjunct scorpio mercury: you express your ego and identity through your words and ideas. you’re very opinionated and you protect strongly your beliefs. after all, you probably came up with your ideals after thinking deeply about them, you were too precise to be wrong. you’re also probably an avid reader, and you could do well in writing yourself, as you’re able to properly convey your ideals with your words. also, your heavy virgo dominance makes you naturally good at writing poetry, or even philosophical quotes. your mind is very active, and you feel comfortable letting all your thoughts out. it’s actually a way to relieve stress. you also have a wide vocabulary, and you’re capable of making a formal speech if you have to. you have a memorable way of speaking, as your words are very sharp. it’s hard for you to be ignored for your intellect.

scorpio sun trine pisces saturn: you're an extremely ambitious and hard-working person, you put a lot of seriousness in your goals. you aspire to be the best, not only for yourself, but also to be recognized. you don't do it to brag, though. you just want to feel fulfilled, being good at something boosts your self-esteem. in fact, you're quite insecure about yourself. you're a perfectionist, you always want to be at your best state, and that could pressure you. since you were a child, you always took care of your responsibilities, in fact you probably didn't find yourself at ease around your peers at school. you get along more with older people, or that are at least as mature as you, as you grew up sooner than other kids, with a strong sense of duty. you tend to be a bit too materialistic; for example, when thinking about a gift, you immediately think about something material that costs money, not something handmade, for example. money is very important for you, and you aspire to achieve a great status in life. you're also quite pessimistic, you never set your expectations too high, mostly out of fear. you're constantly afraid that things could turn out the way you don't want them to be, as you always want to have everything under control. because of that, you may even appear as bossy or snobby, as you may have the impulse to control people as well. you don't do it out of malice, though, it's something very subconscious that comes from fear. fear of not being able to achieve your goals and being criticized by others.

🌙 moon in taurus, 20° / 3rd decan ruled by venus and saturn

the moon is exalted in taurus, so it's definitely a good placement! you're very peaceful, you try to avoid conflicts when you can. taurus' most striking feature is that they crave stability, whether it's financial, in love etc. you must be very stubborn, as taurus is a fixed sign, this placement, paired with your hard-working scorpio and virgo energy, makes you settle on making your ideas concrete, and it's very beneficial. it makes you capable of achieving any goals in your life. you're also very artsy, and you may fancy particular art styles. you have a good eye for aesthetics, and you care a lot about the looks of your house, body, clothes etc. you have excellent concentration, and that is another thing that helps you achieve your goals and make your ideas concrete. last but not least, you're amazingly patient, and that makes you a great friend. probably, they vent a lot of their worries to you, as you're also a great listener.

taurus moon sextile pisces saturn: you’re very reliable and mature, almost serious. you always want to be seen as a point of reference, yet you tend to shy away from the spotlight. even though you may desire it, you feel too shy and pressured being in the centre of attention. you don’t like talking about your feelings; even if you do talk a lot, you prefer talking about news, hobbies etc. you don’t want to be the subject of the conversation. because of this, you tend to repress your emotions, as you don’t want to be seen as vulnerable. you’re a nice listener, your friends can rely on you when they need to vent without wanting an advice, as you’re probably not the best at finding a solution to their problems. you may find yourself wanting to follow a schedule, otherwise you feel as if you’re too relaxed and you’re not being productive. this is also a placement that can indicate coldness in your family environment / childhood. maybe your parents were quite strict, but overall it was nothing too serious that hurt you deeply. actually, you might have had a pleasant childhood, you have a nice memory of it.

taurus moon trine capricorn uranus: you’re the type to change your mind often, probably because you’re constantly coming up with new thoughts and theories since you’re so intellectually active. you seem emotionally cold, and you may actually be like that. in your case though, I see that with your heavy water energy, you feel so much all at once that at one point you need to detach from reality to calm down. even though you have troubles showing this side of you, you’re deeply quite sensitive. you’re very creative and intelligent as well, you come up with original ideas very easily. this placement, considering that it also forms a trine with your neptune, makes you extremely spiritual. you may have some sort of psychic talent, or at least you’re just very intuitive. you’re interested in finding out the truth in the world, and you’re willing to dive deep to uncover it.

taurus moon trine capricorn neptune: you care a lot about others and you treat others' problems as if they were yours, you get totally immersed in them. you have quite a vivid imagination, you're able to idealize and picture anything you want. while this placement gives you an incredible amount of creativity, it can also make you uncomfortable. in fact, you may actually find yourself imagining every detail of every situation, even the worst ones, and combined with your pessimism it isn't really the best thing. you have the soul of an artist; you have very enhanced emotions, and you're able to express them through artistic outlets. you could be amazing at writing poetry, books, art, music... also, your particular empathy of human's intellect can also make you an amazing psychologist or actress, as you're able to understand others' feelings and make them your own. you're extremely spiritual, and if you don't feel like that, you just have yet to have your spiritual awakening. you may be able to talk to spirits, for example, or perhaps you have very meaningful dreams. or maybe, you could literally predict the future through them. you're also most probably an avid daydreamer, you tend to get distracted easily because you're too busy thinking about random scenarios in your head. seriously, you could even make a movie out of them. you're also an hopeless romantic, and you dream of finding not just your spouse, but your literal soulmate. to make it simple, you want all of your daydreams to become reality.

taurus moon opposite scorpio pluto: your emotions are so intense that they almost scare those around you. in fact, you're prone to accentuated mood swings; when you're happy, you start smiling and laughing joyfully. when you're sad, you're the type to cry, scream, even throw up in some cases. that's how far you go with your emotions. maybe, you also feel repressed to express your feelings exactly for this reason. you probably also have a conservative/possessive mother (or just any member of your family), with whom you don't feel at ease expressing your emotions. or maybe, your mother was absent throughout your life. on the other hand, you can understand others' feelings, but be careful not to use it to manipulate others. you could also be very paranoid, and might develop addictions and anxiety disorders, especially with your virgo rising. if you don't feel comfortable speaking to someone you know and there's something you need to talk about, I'd suggest you to do it with a therapist. don't be afraid to face your emotions, you'll only be able to control them if you get know them.

🗣 mercury in scorpio, 5° / 1st decan ruled by jupiter

you're extremely blunt and straight-forward, you may actually hurt people with your words. you probably lack diplomacy, and you're very realistic. the thing is, you speak the truth, but not everyone can accept it. that's why your behaviour is so controversial. you speak fluent sarcasm, and that could annoy people who don't understand your sense of humor. you're probably good at lying, and even manipulating people. you may often make others change their mind just with your own words, but be careful not to use this skill to hurt others, or you'll only experience a sense of guilt and overall the bad sides of it. on the other hand, you're an extremely captivating speaker, you'd be successful at anything that involves the use of words and voice. you're truly intuitive, and it's easy for you to understand when someone is being honest or is lying to you. last but not least, you're very secretive as well. you're probably the type to know everything and anything about others, while you remain a mystery.

scorpio mercury square capricorn uranus: you have a very distinctive way of thinking and speaking. you don't like being like others, you don't follow trends. you're probably the trendsetter, and you may find confidence and pride in your ideas and opinions. some may even define you weird, but you have very strong beliefs that could actually be helpful for the world. you're quite 'ahead' of others from this point of view, you're able to find beauty in things without being influenced by others. for example, you may follow a fashion trend before it gets viral. you are able to come up with very innovative ways of solving problems, you're extremely creative. you may even be the type to invent your own words, or perhaps you love learning and reading new words, you have a wide vocabulary. you're also probably interested in science and any darker or logical topic, you want to use your words and theories to change something in the world. you want to leave an impact, maybe even help others through your mind. you have a very witty sense of humor, you most likely speak fluent sarcasm and you're also very astute. the problem with this harsh aspect is that you may come off as a know-it-all, especially with your virgo rising. you're proud of your intellect, you can't help but show it off, but obviously others may be jealous of you or feel attacked. for your voice, I assume you have a very particular tone, maybe even a nasal voice. you're also very intuitive, but sometimes you may be too proud of your intuition and jump fast to conclusion, even though I assume that your virgo rising makes you also look at the details, not just at the bigger picture.

❤️ venus in sagittarius, 5° / 1st decan ruled by jupiter

people may consider you flaky, as you value freedom above all. you may be the type that likes making new experiences regarding love, and you often date your crushes. yet, you feel too limited in a relationship. you don't enjoy committing to someone if that someone isn't perfect for you, you're only completely loyal to the one you consider your true love. you can't give up your freedom, your thirst for adventure and experiences for someone else. basically, your ideal partner would be a risk-taker, someone loyal but not too clingy, that is down to go on a road trip in every moment. someone impulsive, that could help you stepping out of your comfort-zone. you're probably into those youthful love stereotypes, e.g. high school dates. you want your relationships to be filled with excitement, you despise boring, traditional and cheesy things. you may also find yourself being attracted to unavailable people; that is, you could fall for people that are already taken, or maybe they're physically unavailable, e.g they live abroad or in another city in general. you're also attracted to foreigners, and people that have a wise, yet bubbly aura around them.

sagittarius venus conjunct sagittarius mars: you are very serious when it comes to love. you seek intense, long-lasting relationships, filled with both romance and passion. ironically, you tend to attract people that are the opposite, who are only looking for fun and casual romance. that could afflict your self-worth significantly, as you feel unlucky in love. this is also another placement that indicates that one of your parents, probably your father, or still anyone of the opposite sex probably influenced your approach to romance and sex. there are different scenarios I have in mind, but I'll talk about it later in the family life section.

sagittarius venus conjunct scorpio pluto: this placement is extremely intense; you have very high standards when it comes to love. you're a passionate, loyal lover, but at the same times you also want and need a lover that is willing to go as far as you go with your feelings. you may often test your partner to see if they're worthy of your love, for example. you have this sort of self-destructive behaviour that makes people stressed, just because you have extreme trust issues and you feel the need to control everyone, especially if 'everyone' is your lover. you find yourself being more attracted to 'darker' types; that is, you may be into bad boys / girls, someone with an edgy / grunge aesthetic. you're probably into the idea of that passionate, even kinky love, despite being quite afraid of opening up to others. you despise too much intimacy, especially since you may often attract and / or fall for self-centered players that don't care about the intensity and purity of your feelings. you may have a few trust issues that lead you into being extremely jealous and / or possessive. you could even get quite stalker-ish at times, but in the best way possible of course. that isn't because you want to take over your partner's life, but you need to feel secure and understand whether you're dedicating your time and your heart to the right person or you're just wasting yourself. a betrayal would hurt you deeply, as you'd literally die for the one you love.

☄️ mars in sagittarius, 13° / 2nd decan ruled by jupiter and mars

you are driven by a strong sense of justice that makes you want to discover the truth. you hate lies of any kind, you want sincerity from those around you and you're the first to be constantly honest. you value your freedom a lot, your life motto is most likely 'live and let live'. you think everyone should live their lives by their own standards, without feeling afraid of being judged or criticized. you're a very pure and genuine person, you hardly ever judge a book by its cover, and you're also extremely open-minded. you're thirsty for knowledge of any kind, you're always up to learn something new. you may also be interested in foreign languages and cultures, as well as philosophy, literature... anything that can teach you something new about the world. you may be quite impulsive, and when you get angry you tend to be very blunt. you may say things that hurt others, as you're brutally honest, even though that wasn't your intention. you may also appear as flaky, since you don't like feeling tied to something or someone. you could often change your favourite colour, food, singer... you despise boredom, and your need for freshness may also manifest in your relationships.

sagittarius mars conjunct sagittarius jupiter: this aspect enhances your sagittarius energy even more; you are very strong and bold, you are a very curious individual and you want to explore everything about your surroundings, making you almost a risk-taker. I find this a good placement, as it helps you being less practical as a virgo rising, living more in the moment but not too impulsively. you have high expectations, and with this placement you are assertive enough to make your dreams come true. you are very brave, and even if you get scared to still seem collected; the problem with this placement is that you may be quite impulsive, you may say or do things that could hurt others and you could feel guilty about it, as you may often find yourself in unpleasant and / or embarrassing situations. you may also tend to get physically violent when you get really angry, or at least you feel the need to vent your anger phisically.

sagittarius mars square pisces saturn: this is another placement that indicates that something or someone is trying to restrict you, they're trying to prevent you from following your dreams and taking your own choices for your life. that someone is most likely an individual that has a lot on impact on you, it's someone very authoritative. or perhaps, it may even be a bully or abuser of any sort. as a result, you either rebel and get extremely angry, or you hide all of your disappointment inside of you. but soon or after, all of your intense feelings are going to eat you alive if you keep going like this, it's a very unhealthy behaviour. you could find it extra hard to achieve your goals, as when you try you always come across some hardships. what matters the most, is that you try to be more positive, you could even try manifesting more patience or serenity. you can't hold onto anger so much, or it will just fill you with negativity that could damage you. let it all go, focus on your goals and try to understand how to be more patient. in fact, you may often feel like you need to do everything as soon as possible, when it's not like that. you can allow yourself to be more calm and live life as it comes, it will make you feel much better with yourself and you'll also get more mature, which is crucial to learn your saturnian lessons and increase your self-confidence.

⭐️ other aspects

sagittarius jupiter square pisces saturn: you have lots of sagittarius energy in your chart, meaning that you are a very intelligent and creative person who loves exploring the world. yet, with saturn making a square to your sagittarius jupiter, you are restricted from showing this side of yourself. you try to be optimistic, you want things to go well, but you always end up being afraid of what could happen, making you question your fortune or even your own choices. you may come across very important opportunities, for instance you could get an offer for a very successful job, but saturn makes you constantly doubt yourself, restricting you from taking the risk and making new experiences. to cope with this placement, I'd suggest you to start living more in the moment, don't try to plan everything out in your life. all you need to do is keep a positive mindset, as your jupiter energy makes you naturally lucky. you have nothing to be worried about.

sagittarius jupiter opposite gemini midheaven: this placement indicates that your jupiter, aside from being opposite to your midheaven, is also conjunct your sagittarius ic, making this energy even stronger. as a result, you probably had to travel a lot during your childhood, you must have a foreign background. it could be that you grew up in a different country from where you were born, or maybe you were always close to foreign cultures or languages. you were probably also a very diligent student, you used to get good grades. because of this natural broad-mindness of yours, you naturally aspire for success. you have tons of ideas for your future, and you're determined to make them become concrete. this is mostly a beneficial placement, as it guarantees you luck in your career, even though you may experience lots of 'almost winner' situations. you may often be not satisfied with your career or even with your life in general, and as a result you don't enjoy what you have. you probably always aspire for more, and as a result you may take your opportunities for granted.

pisces saturn sextile capricorn neptune: this placement is quite beneficial, as it makes you able to turn your dreams and imaginations into reality, something concrete. in fact, many people with creative jobs, such as writers, singers, etc. have their saturn aspecting neptune. you may have an artistic talent that you could possibly even turn into a career, as you're able to get in touch with your deeper self easily. you are able to fantasize and daydream, you have high aspirations in life, but at the same time you also naturally know how to stay grounded, without having your head in the clouds. because of that, you are able to see both sides of an argument, you're probably equally logical and spiritual.

pisces saturn square gemini midheaven: saturn squaring your midheaven indicates that, when you were younger, you probably had quite a few difficulties you had to endure during your childhood. it could be that your parents were particularly strict, and as a result you couldn't express yourself properly. or perhaps, it may even be that your parents are divorced, or maybe one of them is absent, emotionally or even physically. as a result, you had to learn how to take of yourself since a young age, you've always been a responsible person. it could also be that you had problems outside from your family, you most likely were a shy child who had problems socializing with others, and you could have even been picked on because of that. becoming independent would be a sort of revival for you, you'd finally achieve success and you'd become very confident. you could finally have the opportunity to express yourself and understand who you are. this placement also indicates that you're going to be a very important figure in your workplace; you may work as a teacher or as a leader or boss of any sort.

capricorn uranus conjunct capricorn neptune: this placement usually only shows up when you are working with groups of people, when you're trying to lead others. you are a visionary, you dream of a perfect future and you'd do anything to actually turn thay future into reality. you are very sensitive to global causes, such as feminism or blm, and you aren't afraid to show your support towards minorities. you are a very sensitive person, you have an innate awareness of the world to you that makes it easy for you to understand what is right and what is wrong. you are also very intuitive, and you most likely have some sort of psychic ability (or you may awaken one if you started a spritual awakening). you are highly aware of both the 3D and the 5D, the material world and the spiritual realm, and as a result you have thousands of interests, from philosophy to more 'superficial' things, such as fashion for instance.

capricorn uranus sextile scorpio pluto: this is another placement that indicates that you want to fight for the underdogs and against unfair social laws. you aim for a transformation that will make everyone, regardless of ethnicity, gender and sexual orientation, feel accepted and safe. you are highly concerned in social justice and human rights, you are a trend-setter and, because of this natural open-mindness of yours, you may even be seen as eccentric or rebel. this is also another placement that makes you naturally good at leading, I definitely see you having an important position in your job, you may even pursue politics.

❤️ love life, soulmates

in love you attract pisces, sagittarius, gemini, aquarius and capricorn placements. your future spouse will most likely have some of their planets in gemini or capricorn; they’ll be well-balanced, with a stable job and finances. yet, they won’t be too much of a workaholic, as they’re also most probably a chill individual who loves relax and vacation as well. they could also be foreign and very open-minded. yet, they could be quite impulsive and chilidish at times. your children will have aquarius placements, as well as pisces and cancer traits too. they’ll be extremely open-minded and intelligent; they could be a bit rebellious, but in a very woke and revolutionary way. they'll be very creative and emotional too. also, this placement indicates that you may get pregnant unexpectedly, so be careful to that.

👶🏻 family life

your mother was probably very outgoing, sociable and open-minded. she was probably very intelligent too, and she could have been a successful student. she was basically the perfect, nurturing mother. yet, she probably was too emotional, she could have even been quite possessive or moody. she probably has sagittarius and / or pisces placements in her chart, as well as 9th, 12th house placements. you could have also had to travel a lot during your childhood, perhaps you moved abroad or maybe you're bilingual. your father, on the other hand, was probably less strict than your mother. he had a complex personality, he most likely used to act different based on the situation he was him. but you most likely used to play a lot with him, you had fun together. he could have been very sociable and intelligent too. he may have gemini or virgo placements in his chart, as well as 3rd and 6th house placements. if you have siblings, they have scorpio or aries placements in their chart, as well as 1st / 8th house placements. you might have fought a lot when you were young, there were many control issues and your bond is very intense. yet, you're still very affectionate, and your bond will probably get better as time goes by. they may also have taurus, libra, pisces and / or sagittarius in their chart.

📊 career

your future career will most likely involve communication of any kind; you could have to interact with other people, and hence you may work in a place that allows you to communicate with others and that can get quite crowded, like a shop for example. you'll most likely start from these small jobs, like working in a cafe for example. yet, your gemini midheaven indicates that you can handle way stronger careers; you would do amazing as a writer or journalist for example, or perhaps you could even become an amazing teacher / professor. I also see you working abroad or in contact with foreign people. you may become a translator of any kind, or maybe a stewardess, anything that will put you in touch with other cultures. you will start from simple things, but as time goes by, you'll be able to become more independent, maybe even a leader. you probably won't have to depend too much on other people.

👚 fashion sense, style analysis

your sagittarius energy screams grunge! you probably love 90s/00s aesthetic, with fishnets, black, burgundy, belts, leather jackets... all of this stuff. also, oversized clothes are a must for you. you may especially be fond of wearing tight tops with baggy jeans or viceversa: tight pants, possibly leggins, with big, long sweatshirts and t-shirts. it's very comfortable, but you still make it look trendy and particular with your charisma. you may also love printed things, especially graphic t-shirts. for shoes, I'd say trendy sneakers and boots are a must in your wardrobe.

👁 past life, life purpose

during your past life, you probably didn’t have as many challenges as in this life. you most likely used to depend on someone else; perhaps, you married someone rich, hence you didn’t really have to work for your resources. this lifetime, you need to step up your game and become independent. your path to luck and abundance may be long and steep, but your venus being conjunct the north node indicates that you may achieve great personal success in this lifetime. you just need to work on your self-esteem and have stable finances, you shouldn’t over-indulge. to boost your security, you could try using loa, as well as the advices I gave you above.

🤔 major transits analysis / may 3rd

a few unpredictable, possibly painful events may occur in this period of time, as transit uranus is in your 8th house almost conjunct your natal moon. there could be an unexpected loss of money for example, or even death. maybe also an issue surrounding your family life, or something metaphorical. something will happen that will surely change your view of things and will help you have a major transformation.

🧿 manifest what you want, secret skills

with your water placements, you probably have a 6th sense. you’re able to manifest what you want if you subconsciously predict it, even though it may be hard. you’d have to get in touch with your higher self to do so, and hence I would suggest you to light up some candles and meditate for a bit before manifesting, in this way it will be way more effective. you may manifest something while daydreaming, for example. or perhaps, you can also try listening to your own affirmations while you sleep, as you won’t be consciously aware of that. it’s probably the most effective way.

and this is it! thank you again for booking a reading, hope it resonated with you :)

- libramc xx ♎️

#astrology

[ears-awake-eyes-opened]

Haymitch, Effie, and Hayffie

(Musings, character analysis, my headcanons about their backstories and forward stories, especially about their relating and relationships. I felt like I needed to think through some of these ideas before writing more fics. These reflections got incredibly long, and I considered just keeping this in my drafts for myself, but maybe something here will resonate with someone else too, so here we go.)

I’ve been writing about Hayffie for a month, and I have some thoughts about their relationships/sexual histories both individually and together. It’s film-Hayffie that I’m into, so some of my ideas might conflict with what’s canon in the books, which I haven’t read in nearly a decade. When I eventually reread the books, I may feel differently, but these are my musings for now.

Haymitch:

We know Haymitch had a girlfriend when he won the second Quarter Quell at age 16. Snow had her murdered along with Haymitch’s mom and younger brother, so I’m guessing Haymitch loved her, otherwise Snow wouldn’t have bothered to have her killed since Snow always kills with intention.

Haymitch I imagine has probably always been good-looking-enough, but not extremely handsome. (I say this despite the big crush I have on Woody). I can see Haymitch as a kid having been witty, reasonably athletic, reasonably popular, a class clown and fairly obnoxious. As a teen without a father present/alive, home would have been a place of hard work, so school was likely Haymitch’s primary outlet for fun. I figure that particular girlfriend may have been his first serious love (and probably his only love).

I think he and she had some experience with sex but not a lot. They probably explored each other and discovered things together. They may have had sex only soon before the reaping, just in case the worst happened and one of their names was pulled. I’m remembering the guy I dated when I was 16. I loved him, but I didn’t want to have sex with him. However, if it had been the feeling of the end of the world, I probably would have slept with him. So, logic tells me they did.

Fast forward. Traumatized post-Games Haymitch wouldn’t have been with anyone else for a long time. I think it may be canon that he refused prostitution because he had no loved ones left to lose, but even if Snow did prostitute him, it would have been maybe once when Haymitch was still a minor, like Snow’s last nail in the coffin of crushing him. But Haymitch would have ultimately proven himself to be too much of a loose cannon/liability for Snow to use in that way.

So I imagine Haymitch has some history of sexual trauma. First in the intensity of sex with his beloved girlfriend within the feeling of coercion (let’s do it now or maybe never). Then with being prostituted to likely some wealthy middle aged woman. Rather than being the prostitute of a man, I think Haymitch would have killed the man or killed himself, depending on his trauma state at the time. So I don’t see sex with men, forced or otherwise, in his history.

It’s canon that Haymitch is basically a loner/shut-in who doesn’t like people in his house and sleeps holding a knife (when he’s able to sleep). I see him having the potential to be quite desirable to women and the potential for being a player. But trauma put a damper on those potentials. I think he could have sex whenever he feels like it, but for a couple of decades after his Games he just doesn’t very often (on average over those years once or occasionally twice a month maybe) because women are too much of a hassle, and they aren’t the love he lost. Alcohol is strongly his drug of choice over sex.

When he does have sex, I believe it’s one-night stands or casual sex with women who are players themselves and probably who he mildly dislikes. He steers clear of relationships that seem at all likely to become emotional. He firmly does not want to get attached to anyone again. Liking people is something he perceives as risky. Loving people is something he perceives as suicidal.

Haymitch is perceptive. Over the years, he’s learned some basics about what feels good to women physically. Pleasuring women has never been his first priority during sex, but I see him as the kind of guy who gets off on them getting off, so he would have made an effort to experiment a little and pay attention to the results. Unfortunately, alcohol often gets in the way of really focusing on women while he is with them. Which is one of the reasons Effie likes him better sober...

Effie:

I like to imagine Effie in early life, 0-9 maybe, with a very old great-grandmother in her 80s-90s. This great-grandma had memories of growing up in a free-er nation before the dictatorship gained in intensity, before the first revolution, before tyranny. I imagine she told Effie folktales that Effie remembers as bedtime stories. Those appeared to be fictional but were filled with archetypes and the roots of humanity. Her great-grandma was careful to protect the family, so she never spoke openly against the Capitol, but she understood and communicated deeper truths which shaped Effie’s heart/unconscious mind. I like to imagine Great-grandma offered Effie a reflection of the girl’s authentic self and offered her a small taste of empowerment. “Never forget you’re more than a pretty, well-mannered girl. Your wit is sharp. You have the capacity to be so much more than a face and a body bending to someone else’s will.”

To Effie’s controlling parents, and even to Effie herself in time, the great-grandma would seem eccentric. I envision her telling Effie that a woman doesn’t need a man to please her or to achieve greatness, and teaching her that she can please herself in all ways including financially and physically. Those lessons sunk in. I see Effie’s great-grandma having possibly been widowed young and surviving on her own awhile, with kids including Effie’s grandparent. In many ways Great-grandma was a self-made woman in her time.

Effie lost most of that connection to antiquity and to her authentic self when her great-grandma died, and she had nothing substantial to shield herself against the tight control and will of her family and Capitol life.

I imagine Effie mostly complied with that control but claimed autonomy in subtle ways. I think she had sex throughout the second half of her teens and throughout her 20’s, always being discerning, discrete, and selective about partners, rather than *sleeping around.* She had an intention behind each conquest. These conquests often had to do with aspects of self discovery, the desire for validation, and facilitating what she wanted in life, especially the ability to project a certain image in order to get where she wanted to go.

Did Effie fall in love with some of those young men? Probably, because underneath her thick facade, Effie has a tender heart which the facade protects like armor. Did she ever have her heart broken? Seldom. For the most part, she inherited and practiced ways of staying in control of her emotions within relationships. Most men thought of her as a desirable pain in the ass, but worth the high maintenance because she knows how to pleasure a man, she gives that focused attention during significant times including sex.

Did she ever experiment with sex with women? Possibly at some point out of curiosity and in seeking validation, but I don’t see women as her jam. Pretty and popular in childhood, she got along with girls in school. Later in her teens and adulthood, women mostly resented her natural beauty, fashion sense, drive to achieve, ability to attract attention, and her perfected facade. I see Effie feeling wistful at times for the quality of connections she had in youth, but her understanding of survival in Capitol society dictated that image and career-based connections were more important than purely emotional ones.

By age 30, during her years as an escort, Effie is quite singularly driven. She knows her body well, but there’s a veil over much of her inner self. The facade she’s built up is so thick that she doesn’t know much anymore about the vulnerable self beneath it. Haymitch can see the softness in her, whether he’s sober or drunk. She is both terrified and thrilled by his capacity to see the self she hides.

Hayffie:

I picture Haymitch as one of the first crushes Effie can remember having. I think of her as 8-9 years younger than him, so she would have been 7, nearly 8, when he was in the second Quarter Quell. She would have been quite taken with the way he held Maysilee’s hand as she died. Just as Effie was genuinely touched by Katniss caring for Rue as she died.

I see Effie having only been an escort since maybe the 72nd Hunger Games — long enough for the District 12 folks to know and mock her, but not too long. She had ambitions to move up in the districts, and she was on her way to proving herself as an effective tool of the Capitol: looking, sounding, and acting the part she was playing, and keeping herself veiled to the injustice of the Games and of tyranny in general. She was brainwashed by a lifetime of coercive propaganda, not because her mind is weak, but because the propaganda was so prevalent and multifaceted, including coming directly from her primary caregivers.

I think she probably expressed interest in Haymitch early on in their work together, seeing him as his idealized younger self. I think he turned her down then, in part because there was something about her that he enjoyed too much, even though he may not have been able to pinpoint what it was, because in the beginning he perceived her to be mostly ridiculous.

I see Hayffie playing cat and mouse for a few years — teasing, taunting, holding each other at bay and not doing much beyond tormenting one another during games 72-74, and learning each other’s nuances along the way. Effie would find Haymitch’s uncoothness off-putting and his wildness tantalizing. He would find her poshness annoying and the woman underneath all those layers a sensual curiosity.

The third Quarter Quell effected a personal transformation for each of them. Haymitch accepted the reality that he was caring about people; he couldn’t stop those emotions, even with alcohol, and he really didn’t want to. Effie’s eyes were opened to the injustice of the Games through her deep affection for her team of victors. Her armor came down enough to experience heartbreak — a related heartbreak to what Haymitch was experiencing as he lost old friends, like Chaff and Mags, and as he cared for Katniss and Peeta and helped launch a revolution.

I see this as the vulnerable time for Hayffie when their personal games of cat and mouse would pause, and intimacy would creep in and feel scary. They’d banter it away for a while but by then they’ve seen each other’s heartbreak, and the contents of a heart once seen, can’t be unseen.

In the absence of liquor for him and in the absence of facades for her (i.e. in District 13), hiding authenticity from each other would be tough. The taunting chase would continue in spirit, but physically they’d be ready to catch each other and play with that physicality if for no other reason to provide distraction.

“Let’s keep this casual,” they’d say. “No strings.” But the tapestry that had been weaving so long would take shape nonetheless. Strings would be everywhere, drawing them together faster than they could cut them.

Sex between them, after years of avoiding it with each other, would feel easy and alive, like breathing. Their bodies would fit well, so neither would have to work too hard to pleasure the other. I can see that sex between them has the potential to be very rough at times, though always with mutual consent. They both would be this interesting mix of selfish and giving. Their parting and coming together I see going on for years with feigned casualness. Cat and mouse again. The lightness would become more and more of a lie. Sex with other people would eventually whittle to nothing without much discussion about it.

They’d meet themselves in time as free individuals, and they’d realize they had fallen for each other all along, despite everything and because of everything. They would keep trying to stop it, and they’d keep failing miserably until finally moving into acceptance.

I don’t picture them ever married. Haymitch would want no government or religious bullshit in their personal business. But I see them eventually sharing their lives with increasing intimacy, how ever that might show up. I’m not sure yet how it would show up, though I like to think that several years down the road, Effie will move to District 12 “as the place becomes more civilized,” and when she perceives that there is meaningful work for her there. I also believe Effie’s perception of “meaningful work” will shift in time, initially out of necessity and then organically as she reconnects with her deep self and reclaims it.

I don’t picture Hayffie with kids. Okay, that’s a lie. I totally picture them with a kid and would have a blast writing the humor, affection, and angst inherent for them within that choice, but I don’t think that choice is in character for them. If they conceived a child, that would happen inadvertently. They’d both be terrified of parenthood, given their histories individually and together. Most likely Effie would terminate the pregnancy, but she’d be conflicted. And the more opportunity Haymitch would have to think about it, the more conflicted he would be as well.

The Hunger Games takes a toll in both ways. Kill a fetus to keep it from being born into a world where they’ve participated in and witnessed the killing of children? Or let the fetus become a baby with traumatized dysfunctional parents and hope for the best? I think they’d see it as a lose-lose, but also would feel so much tenderness about the possibility, especially if it happens years down the line in the feeling of “let’s do it now or maybe never.” Sound familiar? There’s some trauma reenactment there.

Trauma bonding and secure attachment:

I think that Hayffie could fall easily into reenacting trauma with each other. Here are some ways I see that playing out...

Haymitch experienced severe attachment trauma while still in early life, losing his parents and everyone he loved. This was on top of the trauma of being hunted and killing and witnessing death within the Games. This trauma was inflicted directly or indirectly by the Capitol. Haymitch has a lot of unresolved anger at the Capitol. Without integration there’s no healthy way for someone to cope with that severity of trauma. Hence, his addiction/alcoholism.

From the perspective of dysfunction, I can see him drawn to Effie because she’s a Capitol girl, controlled/controlling and emotionally abandoning. She doesn’t show up all warm and fuzzy and “talk to me, honey.” She shows up with open criticism and disdain for him. On the surface, she has those fundamental qualities in common with the primary abuser throughout his life (Snow). So through the lens of trauma reenactment, it makes perfect sense that he’d want to fuck her.

I imagine Effie experienced early life trauma that was more subtle but still impactful. She grew up in a place where one misstep could lead to her family’s ruin. She grew up with parents who likely demanded no missteps and were emotionally unavailable, being so focused on achievement over emotional health. To keep her parents’ approval Efffie needed to do everything precisely: appearance, manners, attitude, performance. When she didn’t exceed par, I imagine she was criticized and chastised. When she exceeded par she was praised. (Intermittent reinforcement.) Throughout her early life, she marinated in rigidity with constant reminders of what happened to people who were imperfect. Effie became an attention seeker and a people-pleaser. She sought validation from not just the masses, but also specifically from people who were the most critical of her and dependent in some way upon her *performance.*

From the perspective of dysfunction, I can see her drawn to Haymitch because he doesn’t offer her consistent validation. Even his *compliments* are teases, taunts, and mocking sarcasm. His alcoholism makes him emotionally unavailable and at times intermittently reinforcing. In moments, he’ll look right into her with unmistakable genuine attraction, and she’ll feel high when he does. The high comes because the attention is intermittent and unpredictable. In that state of emotional drugs flowing through her, it makes total sense that she’d want to fuck him.

Their potential for trauma bonding will make their relationship at times explosive and volatile, not overtly abusive but with sharp tongues and intense physicality that at times borders on punishing. Their desire for each other grows like wildfire, their bond tightens, and sex between them is compelling and delicious in a way that I don’t think either of them has experienced before.

I like to believe their potential for trauma bonding is only part of what draws them together.

I think Haymitch’s compassion in the second Quarter Quell touched young Effie’s heart very genuinely, and her young heart was also shaped by her great-grandmother’s unconditional love. With that heart, she in time grows deep affection for “her victors,” not just as validations of her self-worth, but as people who are truly deserving because of who they are, not what they do.

I think Haymitch has the capacity to see through Effie’s walls of makeup, clothing, and attitude to the heart of the girl who has watched him kill but doesn’t regard him as a murderer, rather she sees him still as the boy who held his friend’s hand in death. I like to think of him seeing that core aspect of himself through her eyes. Each time he sees it, he forgives himself a little more for the responsibility he feels for the death of his loved ones and everyone he ever killed in order to stay alive, and evey tribute who died under his mentorship. Haymitch carries impossibly heavy burdens on his shoulders, hence the alcoholism. Effie’s regard for him as a victor, a victor who showed compassion to Maysilee, to Katniss, to Peeta, and so on, lightens more and more over time the burden he carries.

I think their relationship is an interesting mix of dysfunction and healing. It’s raw and messy, and Effie desperately needs raw and messy, even though she fights against that a long time. Their relationship also has the capacity for deep tenderness and connection, and Haymitch desperately needs tenderness and connection, even though he fights against it a long time.

I so want to see Effie raw and messy. I so want to see Haymitch tender and connecting. That’s the unfolding I write for them together. It’s tough not to rush it, because it’s so interesting, and I want to see it all so badly.

After all these years, I am adoring Hayffie in this unexpected way. This ship is surprisingly intricate and beautiful.

P.S. If you made it this far, wow, and thanks for caring about the characters enough to read my extended ramblings. Comments welcome. I love to hear other people’s thoughts about Hayffie.

#hayffie #hayffie musings #effie x haymitch #haymitch x effie #effie trinket #haymitch abernathy #thg #hunger games musings #the hunger games #hunger games #character analysis #trauma reenactment #attachment trauma

[starry-knight-skies]

Title: Nonstop Ambition Summary: New York was a place of new beginnings, especially to Roman Hamilton. After growing up with nothing, he found himself surrounded by new friends, new opportunities, and potential new love. He fought passionately for what he believed in, and found himself rising up and making something of himself. But enemies lurk around the corner and he's faith in others may just end badly for him. Hamilton Au -coop story I’m writing with @fanatic-kay) Chapter 2 summary: Introducing the Schuyler Brothers! Chapter written by me) Chapter 1 

A warm summer sun shone down, the sky dotted with fluffy clouds and making it the perfect weather for people to go out and run their errands, visit with friends, or gather in the square downtown to gossip about the upcoming war. Horse drawn carriage traversed up and down the streets and normally no one would pay them any mind, but as one came to a stop, people turned to watch. The carriage was polished and seemed to shine in the sun, an emblem on the back with an S meant it could only be the Schuylers. Phillip Schuyler was a man who was loaded with cash and his three children were always the talk of the town so everyone was eager for a look.

Remy, the oldest of the three, was the first to step out of the carriage. His dark hair cropped short with a carefully crafted look to make it look like he’d just rolled out of bed, blue eyes, and charming smile had many a man and woman tripping over themselves to talk to him. A pair of thin-framed glasses were perched on his nose and his clothes were a stylish combination of dark colors. An easy-going grin stretched across his face at the passing people and he stepped to the side to let the others out.

Patton hopped out next, a spring in his step and a large grin on his freckled face. He was the youngest of the three, not quite in his teen years yet, with thick-rimmed glasses on his nose. His blue eyes sparkled as he took in the nearest shops by them, eager to begin exploring. His curly blonde hair was past his shoulders and he quickly pulled back into a ponytail to try and keep the curls contained. A few escaped still despite his efforts. His clothes were brighter, more vibrant, with a man’s top and jacket combo, a flowing skirt to finish off the look. Some people gave him odd looks, but he was used to it and it was easy to ignore.

The Schuyler’s were never ones to bend to social norms, nor would they bend to gossip or rumors. This is the most obvious as the last brother stepped out of the carriage, just a couple months shy of turning eighteen. Long dark hair that trailed down to his waist, mismatched eyes with right eye blue and left eye green, a dark purple dress flowing around his legs as the door to the carriage shut behind him. Virgil, a bright and optimistic young man, was unfortunate to be born in the wrong body at a time where fixing it wasn’t an option. He wasn’t going to let it bring him down though, nor would he let it damper his love of skirts and dresses to stop wearing them. He can easily deal with the looks and whispers as long as people acknowledge the fact that he's a man. That’s all that mattered to him.

“Daddy said to be home by sundown.” Patton reminded as the three started off down the street. He turned to give the carriage driver a little wave goodbye, knowing he’d be waiting for them to return at the designated time.

“Daddy doesn’t need to know.” Remy shrugged, flashing a grin and a wink at a group of girls, lifting his head higher at the sound of their giggles. He wasn’t much interested in girls, but a little flirting never hurt anyone and it made them feel good, so there really was no harm.

Patton’s gaze flickered to a sign that said they were going into what their father referred to as ‘the bad part of town’. “Daddy said not to go downtown…”

“You’re free to go wait in the carriage, or head back home.” Virgil gave playful smile, grabbing his hand and swinging it between them, knowing he wasn’t going to go anywhere.

Remy was walking ahead of them, and he stopped, spinning around to face his brothers with a sweep of his arm. “Look around! The revolution’s happening in New York!” He could hear people talking about it from all sides, some for it, some against, and he was so eager to learn more about it.

They started walking again, Remy and Virgil, chatting quietly and both looking around curiously. Patton gently retrieved his hand from his brother’s hold to wring his hands together nervously. Even though he tried to stay optimistic, but all this talk of war and fighting made a ball of uncertainty twist in his stomach. “It’s bad enough daddy wants to go to war.”

“People shouting in the square!” Virgil came to a stop on one of the walkways overlooking the downtown square where a crowd had gathered. He wondered if they could find their way down there to better hear what was going on.

Patton wrung his hands together nervously, glancing down at how large the crowd was. So many people shouting for war left an uneasy feeling in his chest. He never did like fighting, and a small part of him was glad to be so young so he wouldn’t have to fight. “It’s bad enough there’ll be violence on our shore.”

Remy threw an arm over Patton’s shoulder, gently leading him away as they continued on again. “There’s new ideas in the air! It’s exciting, isn’t it?” Virgil made a sound of agreement and Patton reluctantly agreed as well, small hand swinging out to link with his brother again as they walked. The plan was to eventually wander down to the square to hear up close the ideas from the revolutionists, but they rarely come to this part of town and they popped in and out of various shops along the street. - There was nothing like summer in the city, people in a rush next to people looking pretty. Logan liked to stroll downtown and people watch, the various types of people mingling was rather fascinating to watch. What was the most interesting to watch when people from high society come down to look around, and Logan spotted someone he’s had several run-ins with in the past. He made his way over to the figure leaning against the wall by a shop selling scarves, idly watching the people walking past.

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t Remy Schuyler.” Logan greeted, the corner of his mouth tugging up when Remy looked at him. “What brings someone like you downtown? Searching for an urchin who can give you ideals?”

His tone was flirty but there was an underline of condescension that he always seemed to carry with him, and Remy rolled his eyes. “Burr you disgust me.”

“Oh, so you discuss me.” Logan pressed a hand to his own chest, leaning forward ever so slightly. “I’m a trust fund baby, you can trust me.”

Remy rolled his eyes again, looking like he wanted nothing more than to walk away without another word, but with his brothers in the store looking around, kept him rooted to the spot. He’d never walk away without telling them. He crossed his arms, looking over Logan’s shoulder, not wanting to look at him directly. “I’d literally rather do anything else.” His gaze flickered in towards the shop window, trying to will Virgil and Patton to hurry up so they could leave.

Logan pressed a hand to his chest, a look of faux hurt on his face. “You wound me. Here I thought we had something between us.”

Remy huffed out a laugh, shaking his head. “You thought wrong.” Patton chose that moment to pop out of the store and Remy felt relief twist through him that he wasn’t alone with Logan anymore. “We almost ready to go?”

Patton nodded, a small bag in his hand containing his purchase. “Virgil’s finishing up now.” He turned to look at Logan curiously, but before he could say anything, Virgil was stepping out of the store, stumbling into Logan in his rush.

“Oh sorry!” Virgil quickly apologized, hands fluttering over Logan, straightening out his tie before turning to his brothers. “The lovely lady inside said there’s about to be a big rally in the square. We need to go now so we can get close to the stage.”

Remy was glad for the chance to leave and he grabbed hold of Virgil and Patton’s free hands and started off without looking back. None of them did. If they had, they’d have seen the dazed look on Logan’s face as he watched them walk away, gaze locked on Virgil’s retreating form, and looking like he’d been struck by cupids arrow.

--

Hamilton taglist: @viana-dascolli @amintyworld @dunebugger @octobergothyc @brain-deadx0 @massivebiscuitshepherdpie @a-deceit-salad @the-mexican-hug-cartel @kittylikesflowers @lulahood

#virgil sanders #remy sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #hamilton au #my writing #endgame prinxiety so #prinxiety

[stormyreadingsxx]

The WHO and the WHAT

Giving understanding your chart a chance:

Planetary Alignments

Taurus, Pisces.... Even knowing your sun is a Cancer and your rising in Aries is all good and well. But planets add a whole other layer over the way you may function in a sign (or a house but that’s for another post I guess). It’s easy to remember traits about zodiac signs (like fiery elements and the differences between cardinal and fixed) but do you know what sign a given planet is in? If it is in strength or at a weakness? These observations can turn a non-believer of astrology into an advocate.

My Venus is in Virgo (also my sun and moon sign and of course in fall or working against it’s placement) meaning for ME, finding someone who has the capacity to understand my love language or not take advantage of my mutable big three has been hard. I notice a trend of retreating inward without knowing it (when my emotional needs aren’t met), and others need to see and hear things to know... And there is the disconnect. 

Mercury: ☿ The Messenger ~ The clear ruler of communication (and why the retrograde is so fantastically catastrophic, but more on that later), how we take in, let out, and process information is important. Your sun, moon, & rising should be taken into account separately from this. A sun in Scorpio may mean you’re mysterious, emotional (even if you hide it), and a bit brooding but a Mercury in Leo could mean you explain and express yourself with unexpected flair. Understanding this aspect in your chart can help you be a better listener, talker, or find out what kind of people you want to interact with in the long run. 

*I used my Leo Mercury as an example. I go through introverted, critical, and anxious bouts as an overthinking earth sign, but I’ve always had a knack for telling stories and only recently have I discovered this connection. Using humor to cope is comforting to most people, I guess. lol

Venus: ♀︎ The Lover ~ I will admit to using Sailor Senshi to remember my planetary themes, but yes this one is known emphatically as The Lover. In addition to your sun, moon, and Mercury this can give you insight to how you love, your own love language, and how best someone might receive you. My Virgo Venus has doubled down on the earthy acts of service as mine. I’ve always wanted to make sure the people I love and care about are fed (finishing my food if I cannot) and their lives easier (tidying a room, folding laundry etc...). Somewhere along the way, this became easier than words. 

That’s nice and all, but my criticalness and Mercury-ruled energy (A sharp Virgo way with words that can be weaponized and unfocused Gemini-ness that at best is spacey) it’s hard for me to get through to people at times. Understanding yours (or someone else’s) Venus is their approach to romance (so how much more emotionally intelligent do you feel understanding how you communicate and how you approach love ?). 

Mars: ♂︎ The Warrior ~ If Venus is our feminine ~love~ energy, then Mars is obviously the opposite (at least in symbol). What grinds your gears? Turns thoughts and ideas into action? Mars is about expressing (our anger) and how we get what we desire. What is that cost?

Our drives and our passions.... Mine happens to be in Gemini. I love my ability to go with the flow and appeal to all sorts of people, professions, and hobbies. But this energy (even with my earthiness) is unfocused. Lots of thought and brain action (and typing at 3 am asfcgsd) but harnessing it is not always an easy thing for me. If we can be honest here, it never has. 

I can be easily bored (although I will say I’m crushing boredom in quarantine for the most part) and my mercurial ass is actually exhausted and borderline in distress when I’m bored. My mind races and it becomes anxiety. Even hyper-vigilant criticisms of myself. I’ve turned to bottles, pills, and risky behavior to avoid it! Now that I see and understand this cloying longing to feel like I belong everywhere and the way chaos manifests in my space if I’m not well, I begin to understand and fix that. 

I must find balance in the doing and the not doing but I can’t let my mind get bored. I’ve always been a fidgety person and talked with my hands (my massaged cat and friends can attest to both). And I often take on many projects and only the strong survive.... I used to not understand my Gemini rising but the more I talk, the more it make sense (since it is ruled by the Mercury communicator and the area of the hands).

Jupiter: ♃ The Sage ~ Now here’s something maybe everyone can get into. Luck. Jupiter has to do with a lot of luck in our charts, how we improve our lives and show generosity throughout it. For me, though my Jupiter comes in the same sign as my sun and moon (New Moon babies unite), its is actually at it’s detriment or not working as strongly as it could be (a trend I’m noticing with my Virgo placements lmfao).

Investigation will show that I’ve always been good at being persuasive and using warm graces to win someone over. That’s why from customer service to [REDACTED] (rhymes with.... h*x w*rk), I make a good front of house. My need to see a tangible result of progress (in video games, typing things like this out, or reorganizing all my things, creating art) can be attributed to this. For a day dreamer, I have a very grounded chart. 

Saturn: ♄ The Taskmaster ~ Saturn, Saturn, Saturn.... Known of course by the infamous return, the one denoting when different clusters of generations ‘grow up’ (and I’m pretty sure I’m about due for AND going right through mine but I deleted co__star lmao), some associate with death. The end. Saturn is associated with restriction and limitation. Boundaries. This all sounds negative, but Saturn brings with it structure and meaning. A good relationship and understanding yields great things for life!

“Saturn is often associated with our fathers or father/authority figures. In childhood, the discipline, rules, and regulations imposed on us by our authority figures–from parents, teachers, and the like–were not always pleasant, but they actually helped us to understand the world around us. Similarly, Saturn’s lessons actually help us to grow.”

Ouch.

I will try to let this speak for itself and not project TOO much of my own chart as if you care, but I’ve only recently seen so deeply into what makes up who I am astrologically. I’ve always had a bit of a struggle with boundaries. Initiating them. Holding my space and comfort over others.

I was born during a New Moon and at LEAST one retrograde. 

Saturn.

I can condemn myself for that or I can keep going, deeper and see why and how going forward I don’t fall into the same pitfalls (or maybe give myself a little compassion seeing that others have struggled my struggle). It does kind of feel like the whole world is on it’s Saturn return right now, though. 

Uranus: ⛢ The Revolutionary ~ My Uranus was also in retrograde during my birth. I do feel conflict at this time of riots, protests, and rampant and unrepentant police brutality. People who look just like me die in the streets, in police custody, somewhere in strange circumstances. Vulnerable to covid and staying to help my parents, my place isn't at protests even if it feels like my heart is. I do my part to speak my mind and perspective, donate and raise awareness. Support my allies on the lines in the ways I can. 

I cannot lie and say the present doesn’t scare me. Or being tear-gassed, detained indefinitely, thrown in jail or court, or disappeared. All of it. 

“Uranus is quite at home in the eighth house of resurrections. You are naturally open and support change. “Change is good,” is your constant motto. Re-inventing yourself from time to time sounds like a good idea to you. You couldn’t possibly have it otherwise. Life would be boring without change. Your style and pace of bringing about change though may leave others dazed and breathless. The style of change that you prefer can be destructive to those around you. Your good intentions are never at doubt though. It’s just that you are addicted to your ideas and you sometimes overlook human emotions. Your natural impatience with status quo drives you to move fast leaving the staid behind.”

Maybe I jump ahead getting to houses, but I wanted to switch it up. Though Uranus was essentially moving backwards when I was born (and that seems to not bode well), the house (which can speak to a best way to reach the potential of your placements) seems to have kept me from losing all discernment and ability to adapt. 

On the topic of revolution among other things, I feel conflicted. Helpless. Futile. I’m finding my way through that, but it is almost awe-inspiring to see a struggle mapped out in the charts while I go through it. 

Neptune: ♆ The Dreamer ~ Didn’t I say earlier I’m a bit grounded for a daydreamer? A lot of my daydreams (and borderline escapism lol) are rooted and threaded in reality (especially since covid and damn near martial law have changed everyone’s perceptions of such). I have some far out dreams, but the content in my head could be shockingly close to reality sometimes. I love playing Animal Crossing and other general life simulations and always have.

Your vision of an ideal world may center around respect for rules, order, responsibility, and morality. You need to believe in the realizability of your dreams, and this means that your fantasies usually have a very realistic thread to them. There is a conservative, possibly somewhat cynical element to your nature. Because general optimism/faith does not typically carry or motivate you, energy levels may not be high when you don’t believe in what you’re doing, and inspiration is not easy to find in the first place. However, you can turn a dream into reality more easily than most. Your vision is practical but also doable.

I really am this optimistic-pragmatic-realistic but hardworking ???? person. My Neptune was also in retrogrograde during my birth. It has not hindered my creativity but even that is met with rigid expectations and an expected method for madness. I could stand to be dreamier and I work to inspire a calming, soothing, dreamy atmosphere (essential oils, Virgo 4th house things). But this may be why I always have my brain never too far in the clouds. Not without stimuli. 

Pluto: ♇ The Transformer ~ Ah, Pluto is the Ruler of Scorpio. A deep cut in my chart but I have always had a bad habit of falling deep, deep into the well of a watery Scorpio even though I should know better. Renew and Rebirth hits my experience with them on the head. At it’s worst, these planetary placements can promote a hedonistic greediness. ‘Everyone is bad so I must be too’ and a real commitment to harming those before you can get smited (because we’ve all been smited). 

I don’t have a lot of water in my chart personally, but this can help account for my intensity in search of connections (and why unlike a lot of my peers I pull away for long periods and go all in again, almost cyclical in a place where everyone’s always booed up).

Pluto in Scorpio may try to remain positive so strongly that they find themselves in denial, finding out when it is too late about all that was happening right under their noses.

Bingo.

Being strong and able to deal comes with a certain detachedness, a wall others cannot or will not try to breach. Understanding this will help me bring some of it down, right?

Are you interested in hunting down your birth time now? Try paring some of these tidbits or do your own planet research and pair it with the rest of your chart. You might start getting answers. 

#Astrology #Astrology Chart #Zodiac #Planets #Planetary Zodiac #Natal Chart #Planetary Natal Chart #sensitive #readings

[imagesofthegreatgull]

Hybrid Rainbow

Joy has always been a rare and precious commodity. I would argue, though, that in the developed world (Wherever, exactly, that is), it has become somewhat less rare in recent times, as standards of living and education continue to go up. That’s an absurdly privileged thing to say, I realize, but I’m trying to start this thing as evenhandedly as I can. I understand about suffering and poverty; I’m reading A Tree Grows In Brooklyn right now, even! Okay, saying we’re closer now than ever to utopia is going to smack of ignorance no matter how you phrase it, but it also strikes me as undeniably true, in the grand scheme of things. I think most people--aside from the fascists--would refuse a one-way trip in a time machine to any previous era, or at the very least, would recognize that it wouldn’t improve much of anything for them. As unruly as our age is, it’s still probably the best one we’ve gotten thus far, and as the boot-heel of oppression starts to ever so slowly ease up its pressure on the necks of the long-suffering masses, the question has begun to enter into the collective consciousness: what is to be done with joy when it begins to fall, unbidden, into your life with something like abundance? What is to be done if moments of joy no longer must be pried with great effort and sacrifice from the rockface of life, but lie strewn liberally throughout our days, needing only the will and lack of embarrassment to seize them?

Thus far, the latter-day generations have faced up to this problem with decidedly mixed success. The idea that expecting anything other than the very worst leaves one vulnerable to the universe’s cruel whims has been stamped upon the human brain for centuries, and has left many sadly unable to recognize their own privilege (Which, by the way, is a big part of why a whole lotta white folks refuse to admit they have it better than anyone else and continue to dig their heels in against progress because to them it looks like cutting in line). It is still widely accepted that constantly finding joy and peace and purpose in one’s own life is the purview of children and children alone, that it is a naivete to be grown out of. We have the impulse always within us to be hard, to be warlike, to show the world that we’re not weak and frivolous but monsters to be feared, without emotions to be appealed to or ideals to be fallen short of.

Remedying this problem has turned out to be one of the primary functions of counterculture. If it is often unhelpful to simply look at the entire value system of one’s parents and say “Fuck that”, as it tends to foster a rather negative self-definition, still, if part of that value system is a deeply entrenched distrust of happiness, “Fuck that” may be exactly the response called for. The beauty of “Fuck that” is that it leaps past the slow loss of faith in something and arrives immediately at a flat rejection of it, and since much of the history of civilization has been bound up with blind faith in arbitrary and harmful things, the ability and the courage to flatly reject something, to give it no credit for however widely accepted it is but to dismiss it as bullshit from the ground up, is a step forward in human consciousness tantamount to the reinvention of the wheel.

The great irony of the end of the sixties is that all the hippies were miserable for no reason: they won. Rock n’ roll did change the world, it just didn’t immediately transform it on every level into an unrecognizable nirvana. For all the apparent emptiness of its utopian dreams, the basic thrust of the thing worked out just fine: that particular cat will never be put back into its bag, and those ideas are now out in the ether forever, always waiting for someone to find them and be inspired to change their own life and the lives of those around them for the better. The same goes for the punk rock revolution a few years later: they may not have brought the bastards down, but they did successfully bring personal liberation to a lot of people, and poured exactly as much gas on the fires of populism as they intended to. Culture, and in particular art and in particular music, cannot, unassisted, change the world, but it can change your world, and has been changing small worlds all over the frigging place at least since those mop-topped Brits set foot on American shores and probably since Johnny B. Goode learned to play guitar just like a-ringin’ a bell. 

The thread can get lost, however. Culture is always a reflection of the people, and the people still spend a lot of their time bored, frustrated, and terrified of letting on that they have feelings about stuff. Young people especially, formerly the eternal pirate crew waving high the flags of “Liberty” and “Up Yours”, in recent times have often capitulated and resigned themselves to no more than a few stray moments of fun pilfered from the fortresses of the almighty Money Man-Kings, usually in the form of drugs, sex, and reckless self-endangerment. The cost of the hippies and the punks giving up their battles is that the counterculture lost its intellectual leadership, at least until the resurgence in political literacy in the 2010s. In the wasteland following the 70s, there were no John Lennons or Joe Strummers to look to for guidance; even the people who were elected to speak for their generation seemed adamant that there was fuck-all they could really say. Yeah, it’s nice to know that someone else feels stupid and contagious, but that’s not really a direction, is it? The generation-defining message Kurt Cobain and his peers sent out was “We’re all way too fucked up to do anything about anything”, and that introspective moodiness pervaded American underground rock music from the invention of hardcore at least all the way up to the moment Craig Finn watched The Last Waltz with Tad Kubler and said “Why aren’t there bands like this anymore?” and set out with rest of the Steadies in tow to remind everyone that music can save your immortal soul and that hey, that Springsteen guy was really onto something, headband and all, and together they all successfully ushered in the New Uncool and now we’ve got Patrick Stickles wailing that “If the weather’s as bad as the weatherman says, we’re in for a real mean storm!” and Brian Fallon admitting “I always kinda sorta wished I looked like Elvis” and everything’s great, except it’s not, everything’s fucked, but rock n’ roll is here to stay, come inside now it’s okay, and I’ll shake you, ooo-ooo-ooo.

The point of all this is my belief that even with the responsibility rock music has to provide cathartic outlets for dissatisfaction, is has an equal or greater responsibility to provide heroes. I think it’s time we all got over pretending that we’re better than the need for heroes, because we all insist on having them anyway, imperfect roses by any other name, and we’d do a hell of a lot better selecting them if we just admitted what we were after. We don’t just want particularly talented comrades, we want King Arthur, Robin Hood, Superman, Malcolm Reynolds. Damn it all, they don’t need to be perfect, they don’t even need to be all that great really, and yeah, Arthur dies, and Robin never gets Prince John, and Superman can’t save everyone, and the war’s over, we’re all just folk now, and John Lennon beat women and Van Morrison is a grumpy old fart and John Lydon’s a disgrace, but it’s the faith that counts. The faith that there’s something greater than ourselves that some people are more keyed into than others, and that whatever they can relay from that other side is what’ll see us through. All the best prophets are madmen, and madmen aren’t always romantic fools; sometimes they hurt people, or fail at crucial moments due to a compulsion they can’t control. Let he who is without sin etcetera, right? Why not cast aside realism and sincerely believe in something or someone, huh? 

I believe in the Pillows. I don’t know hardly anything about them; my expertise of Japanese culture and history extends to the anime I’ve seen and that “History of Japan” YouTube video that made the rounds a while back. I can’t locate them within the Japanese music scene; all their western influences seem obvious to me, and the rest I know nothing about. They’re the only rock band from their country I’ve listened to any great amount of, I don’t speak the language they mostly sing in, I don’t even know their career very well. The particulars of any experiences they might have had that motivated them to make the art they make are not ones I could possibly share in, so, saying that I “Relate” to their work sounds a little preposterous. They ought to be a novelty to me, a band that clearly likes a lot of the same bands I do despite hailing from a foreign shore, marrying that shared music taste with a cultural identity I have nothing to do with, a small, nice upswing of globalism pleasing to my sense of universalism but not having any kind of quantifiable impact on me.

Yet I, like a good many other westerners, believe in the Pillows. I’m a little buster, and my eyes just watered as I wrote that. In fact, it’s likely because of the barriers of language and culture that exist between us that my belief in the Pillows is so strong. Pete Townshend, someone else I believe in, once opened a show by saying “You are very far away...but we will fucking reach you”, and though the Pillows are both geographically (At the moment) and culturally miles away from me, Lord strike me down if they don’t fucking reach me. They reach me in a way many of their American college rock peers, many of their biggest influences in fact, never have. Dinosaur Jr, Bob Mould, Sonic Youth, the Pixies, Nirvana--all these artists speak directly to the American adolescent experience, but though they have all moved me to one degree or another, none of them have produced a body of work I can so readily see myself in as that of the Pillows. Maybe it is the novelty of it, maybe I’m fooling myself and it is just my sense of universalism carrying me away, but there’s something I hear in the Pillows that I don’t hear in those bands, and though the obvious candidate for that thing would be the foreign tongue the majority of the lyrics are written in, when it comes down to it, I think that thing is joy.

Joy, to me, is the possibility glimpsed by rock n’ roll. Not hedonistic pleasure, not a sadistic glee over the outrage of authority figures, but real, true, open-hearted, “Freude, schöner Götterfunken/Tochter aus Elysium”--type joy. Buddy Holly had joy. The Beatles, The Who, the pre-fall Rod Stewart, they had joy. Springsteen’s got joy to spare. Those people have such profound love for their art and their audience that just the continual recognition of the fact that they have a guitar in their hands and they’re being allowed to play it is enough to make them ecstatic, and whenever they want to actually express something serious they have to get themselves under control to do it. Yet, whether it’s the unfashionability of those utopian dreams, or the simple fact that rock music has become accepted by mainstream culture and is now a commonplace, unremarkable thing, but half the people who have picked up an electric guitar for the past few decades don’t seem all that excited about it. From Kim Gordon snarling about how people go down to the store to buy some more and more and more and more, to Thom Yorke moaning about how he’s let down and hanging around, crushed like a bug in the ground, even up to Courtney Barnett asking how’s that for first impressions, this place seems depressing, it’s not really a given anymore, if it ever was, that people who make rock music are very joyful in what they do. 

Of course, I’m not demanding that our artists be empty-headed fluff-factories; far from it. The Pillows write sad songs and angry songs same as everybody else. But the important thing is this: every song the Pillows play is played with an exuberance and abandon that is immediately striking, regardless of the emotional content of each song. Channelling that kind of revelry into rock music is both to my mind the initial purpose of the genre in the first place and something which has become so rare as to be remarkable. A veneer of detached cool, a howling ferocity, a whimpering woundedness--these have become the hallmarks of American rock music, and they are nowhere to be found in the Pillows.

At the same time, the Pillows are the very antithesis of artlessness. Joy of the caliber they deal in is more commonly found in folky rave-ups, a lack of musicianship giving way to trancelike festivity. But the Pillows are skilled song craftsmen like few others; their sound has evolved throughout the years, but they tend to settle in the neighborhood of power-pop, abounding in glorious hooks and surprising structures. A hundred unnecessary, perfect touches seem to exist in every song; a pause, a solo, a bassline, all deftly elevating the song into a perfect expression of something sublime, something that always--always--takes ahold of the musicians themselves and imbues their performances with power and purpose the likes of which most little busters can only dream of feeling. It should be testament enough to their brilliance that upon first listen to a song I never know what most of the lyrics mean, but whenever I look up a translation, they always turn out to be exactly what I felt they must be; their songs are so musically communicative that they all but lack the need for lyrics. 

This dual nature is why I believe in the Pillows: by so utterly failing to neglect both the highest possibilities of musical composition as an unparalleled tool for capturing emotional nuance and the unrestrained id-like rush that is the province of rock n’ roll, they successfully attain the lofty realm that is--or ought to be--the goal of music in the first place. Never once is there a hint of straying into the realm of primitivism nor into overthought seriousness, and instead they locate themselves somehow exactly center on the scale between punk and prog, lacking the weaknesses and gaining the strengths of both. They make rock whole again by finally disproving the tenet initially laid out by their heroes, your heroes, and mine, The Beatles: the notion that growing up means having less fun. The viscerally exciting early work of The Beatles lacks any of the depth and vision displayed by their later records, but those records are so carefully and expertly crafted that they tend to lose spontaneity, and constantly second-guess themselves where the juvenilia they followed forged unselfconsciously ahead. That legendary career path has laid out a false dichotomy that every proceeding generation of kids with guitars has chosen between, save for the few who could see past it, the ones who heard the wildness in “Revolution” and the wisdom in “Twist and Shout” and realized that they were of a piece, were one and the same, not to be chosen between but embraced fully. Pete Townshend. Bruce Springsteen. Joe Strummer. David Byrne. Paul Westerberg. The Pillows. The real heroes are not those who champion one side or another but fight all their lives for peace between them, knowing that we have not yet begun to imagine what could be accomplished if that were made possible.

Just as they bypass the divide between what Patrick Stickles termed the Apollonian and Dionysian tendencies of rock (I prefer to think of the usual battle as being between the Dionysians and the Athenians, with the true devotees of Apollo being most of those heroes I keep referring to, except Dylan, who might be a Hermesian), so too do the Pillows bypass the Pacific frigging ocean. And the Atlantic, to boot. Their music quotes the Pixies and The Beatles directly, and obviously owes much to Nirvana and all their college rock predecessors who spent the entire 80s desperately stacking themselves until the doomed power trio could finally vault over the wall. Their first record is practically a tribute to XTC. They do speak a lot of English, too. I’m informed that much of western culture is seen as the epitome of coolness in Japan, which might explain their obsession with Baseball, and apparently sprinkling a bit of the Saxon tongue into the mix is far from uncommon in the music scene(s). Regardless, there is something ineffably touching to a distant fan in a foreign land about hearing Sawao Yamanaka spit “No surrender!” or exclaim “Just runner’s high!” It looks from here like a show of mutual effort to understand me as much as I’m trying to understand them. They’re generous enough to have already walked to the middle where they’re asking me to meet them, a middle where it doesn’t matter that I don’t have a suffix attached to my name or that they don’t wear shoes in houses. The invisible continent that all forward-thinking and sensitive people come to long for is where the Pillows are broadcasting from, because they’ve realized that its golden shores and spiraling cities are attainable. They’re attainable with joy, with the fundamentally rebellious act of refusing to let the fascists bring down even your globdamn day, because who the hell gave them that power other than us? I know enough about Japan and America to know that either one accusing the other of being imperialist and socially conservative to a fault is a fucking joke, and to know that we’ve done a lot more wrong to them than they’ll ever do to us and the presence of the Pillows amounts to a “We forgive you”, not an “I’m sorry”. Having watched a decent amount of anime, which is basically the result of Japan’s mind being blown by western media and then proceeding to show their love by often almost inadvertently surpassing their inspirations, I know that the only way to save our respective national souls and everybody else’s too is to put our knuckles down, have Jesus and Buddha shake hands like Kerouac tried to explain that they would anyway, and embrace each other’s dreams and passions and adopt them into our own. 

It takes better people to inhabit that better world, and in case that sounds like fascist talk, I mean we’ve got to do better, not be better. It’s no physical imperfection that holds us back, nor a mental imperfection exactly, as we all have our own neuroses and if we expunge those then we’ll be kissing art and lot of other vital stuff goodbye. No, it’s our discomfort with ourselves, our world, our neighbors, our aliens, that keep us from seeing that crazy sunshine. If we can’t even acknowledge the greatness around us, that surplus of joy I mentioned a while back that we just seem to have no idea what to do with, then we have no hope of ever achieving further greatness, of ever quelling man’s inhumanity to man down to an inevitable fringe rather than the basic order of the world. 

There was always more to do 

Than just eat and work and screw

But now that there’s time at last to do those things, we’re still afraid to, afraid that we’ll come up empty, that the search for fulfillment leads only to disappointment, better to hang back and play it safe, better not to risk becoming one of those people I shake my head at and pity and will secretly envy until I die. It’s a new world, and we must learn to be new people. I believe in the Pillows because I believe they make excellent models for that new kind of person. The way they behave in the studio and on the stage is the way people behave when they’re truly free, and we’ve all been set free already or will be soon, so if we’re going to try and learn what the fuck is next from anyone, I think we might as well learn from the Pillows. At least, that’s one of the places we could get that insight. There’s a lot of art and a lot of philosophy and political theory to sift through to in order to put together a workable 21st century identity, and the Pillows are hardly the only people to have begun making the leap. But because of a silly thing like the size of the earth, the infinitesimal size of the earth even compared to the distance between us and the next rock we’re gonna try and get to, not everybody is getting their particular brand of free thought and action, and I happen to think that’s regrettable, and it’s my will as a free individual to rectify it as much as I can.

Writing about music really is worthless, isn’t it? I haven’t said jackshit about what the Pillows actually do other than to vaguely qualify their genre and temperament, and the only more useless thing I could do than not describing their songs would be to describe their songs. If you don’t hear the bracing weightlessness in “Blues Drive Monster”, or the aching nostalgia in “Patricia”, or the soul-bearing cry in “Hybrid Rainbow” then nothing I could write about those would be more effective than “Little Busters is a really good album.” The better primer might be Happy Bivouac, from a few years later; it has the melancholic rush of “Last Dinosaur”, the ascended teenybopper “Whoa, whoa, yeah” chorus in “Backseat Dog”, and the intro that should make it obvious immediately that you’re listening to one of the best songs ever recorded which opens “Funny Bunny”. Those two, Runners High, and Please, Mr. Lostman are the classic era, selections from the former three immortalized in their biggest claim to western fame, the FLCL soundtrack, a brilliant use of their music that could warrant an equally long piece. Before and after those four are periods of experimentation and discovery equally worth your time, not all of which I’m familiar with yet. See, now I’m just an incomplete Wikipedia article; it’d be equally worthless to expound upon the individual bandmates, on the pure yawp of Yamanaka’s vocals, on the passionate drumming of Yoshiaki Manabe and the supernaturally faultless lead guitar of Shinichiro Sato, or the contribution of founding bassist Kenji Ueda, which was so valued by the others that when he left he was never officially replaced (They’re so sweet). I’m not here to write an advertisement or a press-release, I don’t really even know why I’m here writing this, but I know that I believe in the Pillows, that they’re important, and that people should write about them. I’m being the change I want to see in the world, get it? That’s all we can be asked to do.

It occurs to me that people believed in Harvey Dent too, and that didn’t turn out so well. Hell, let’s leave the comic book pages behind, people believe in Donald Trump, they think he’s a hero, and that’s all going down in flames as I write this. Having heroes can be dangerous, but I still believe it’s not as dangerous as not having heroes. “Lesser of two evils” sounds an awful lot like one of those false dichotomies between fun and intelligence or between misery and foolishness I mentioned earlier, so, let’s call it a qualified good. I’m not much of a responsible world-citizen if my only effort towards bringing the planet together is spinning some sweet Japanese alt-rock tunes and bragging about how open-minded I am, but if I do ever end up doing anyone any good, then I’d consider it paying forward the good done to me by the Pillows, among others. They helped me form my identity as an artist (Read: functional human being) and they made my adolescence a lot easier. Actually, that’s a lie: my adolescence was (And continues to be) pretty easy already, and the Pillows reassured me that I wasn’t avoiding reality by feeling that. While American bands sang about the downsides of being a mallrat or a non-mallrat, the Pillows offered a vision of teenagedome much like my own, one that was grandly romantic, in which suffering wasn’t a cosmic stupidity but a trial with pathos and merit, and joy was not an occasional indulgence but a constant presence, whether it was lived in or lost and needing recovery. 

That’s the old idea of youth, the youth of John Keats, the youth that makes the old miss it, makes it required that we explain to them that it’s still there, it never left, it’s a dream, a momentary affirmation, an attitude, a muttered curse word. So many of my peers, now no longer engaged in a constant race to stay out of the grave as their ancestors were, seemed intent on beating each other into their tombs, as if reaching walking death before their parents was the only way to outgrow them. There’s so much life just lying around and it’s just plain wasteful to let it lie in the sun and rust in the rain. There’s space enough to stretch, to not keep who you are awkwardly curled up inside yourself, to breathe the air and taste the wine and dig the brains of your fellow travelers in this loosely-defined circus. I found that space in the Pillows, having often suspected it was there, and while everyone is going to find that space in their own way--or not, still, tragically not--I have to think that experience was due in part  to some innate and unique quality of the music itself, not just a complimentary sensibility contained within myself. The Pillows are free, and that makes them freeing, it’s easy as that. Their liberation is plain as day; it rings in every chord, every snare-hit, every harmony; it’s up to us ascertain what we can do in our own limited capacity to hoist ourselves up to their level and give some other folks a boost along the way and a hand to grab afterwards. It’s the gift that art gives us, and the Pillows just give it more freely than most is all, which is why I think the suggestion to listen to them is more than just a solid recommendation. Like the insistence on listening to The Beatles, or The Clash, or any of the others, it’s a plea to save your soul, to learn the language of tomorrow and drink the lifeblood of peace and love and piss and vinegar, or else you’ll be lost, lost, lost. 

Can you feel? Can you feel that hybrid rainbow?

#music #rock #rock music #undeground #alternative #alternative rock #alt rock #indie #indie rock #jrock #japanese rock #flcl #flcl anime #little busters #hybrid rainbow #pillows #the pillows #pixies #the pixies #beatles #the beatles #rock and roll #rock n' roll #joe strummer #pete townshend #the who #bruce springsteen #springsteen #the hold steady #hold steady

[douchebagbrainwaves]

WHAT NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ABOUT SOMETHING

If you can make as good a bet a few months in. Where does it increase discontinuously? Far from it. I expected, but I don't think any would have traded it for a job in a cubicle. To see an interesting variety of probabilities we have to look at the problem from the other end. Frightening as it seemed to them, is practically nothing.1 If you're still in school, you're surrounded by potential cofounders. Fortunately the statistical approach is not usually the first one people try when they write more code. Remember, the original Silicon Valley startup, weren't even trying to start a startup doing something technically difficult, just write enterprise software. There's plenty of empirical evidence: armies, religious cults, and so far no spam that does.

And there is no way they can get around that. There's something fake about it. You need to work at something that pays the bills too, even though you don't need the money? In true startups, there are probably twenty sane ones who think Start another company? Raising money is not like applying to college, but boring. And the cost of checks may actually be increasing. And since it's hard to write a short comment that's distinguished for the amount of work that could be done in this area. Pictures of kittens, political diatribes, and so far no spam that does.

They think they're trying to convince investors. What's going on here? If you have a smaller pool to draw from this is not how to find a cofounder. I want to spend as little time inside the minds of spammers as possible. And in her typical quiet way she encouraged that illusion. That word business is an important one to remember. A job is the expectation that you're supposed to be there at certain times. Now I would guess that practically every Stanford or Berkeley undergrad who knows how to program has at least considered the idea of starting a startup and failed over someone who'd spent the same time working at a big company. And even within the world of content-based filters are the way to get started is to bootstrap yourself off your existing connections, be a good angel investor is simply to be a good angel investor is simply to be a single long stream of text for purposes of counting occurrences, I use the number of startups any one acquirer could assimilate, but if there is value to be had, in the summer of 2005, had eight startups in it. And odds are that is in fact the bullshit-minimizing option. Once they invest in a company with a high probability of being moderately successful. Why waste your time climbing a ladder that might disappear before you reach the top?

Suddenly a culture that had been more or less united was divided into haves and have-nots. Bad comments are like kudzu: they take over rapidly. Enterprise software companies aren't technology companies, they're sales companies, and the resulting hybrid worked well. And even within the world of content-based filters are the way to do this is through contacts. Their lives are short too. How do you do? Checks instituted by governments can cripple a country's whole economy.

There are already a bunch of big public companies doing search. If you start a startup, is start a consulting business you can then gradually turn into a product business. If you go to work for him unless he is super convincing. The thing that really sucks about having a regular job, you'll probably fail.2 The part of angel investing that the decisions are hard. Why do founders persist in trying to convince investors of something so much less speculative—whether the company is good. If you had a handful of the most successful startups are the ones you never hear about: the company that would be painless, though annoying, to lose. 9359873 managed 0. You don't have to explain not just the benefit but the cost. The reason the spammers use the kinds of things that matter: them. Not having a cofounder is a real problem. But it's important to remember we're trying to solve a new problem, because that means we're going to have to work at something that pays the bills.

Based on my corpus, sex indicates a. Ideally the answer is that it only recently became a good idea would be to accumulate a giant corpus of spam, or even triples, rather than their combined length, as the divisor in calculating spam probabilities. The most successful angel investors I know are mean. It has for me.3 As with the question of cofounders, the real lesson here is to start startups who shouldn't, I make my own life worse. When they think it's time to raise money, they try gamely to make the headers look innocent, but my guess is that it only recently became a good idea would be to accumulate a giant corpus of spam. And, by no coincidence, the corporate ladder had a value analogous to the goodwill that is a very real element in the valuation of companies.

Which means we will increasingly have to make their mails indistinguishable from your ordinary mail. And that's fine.4 If you develop ideas in a startup instead of within a big company. Creating such a corpus would be useful for other kinds of filters too, because it could be used to test them.5 Not opting out is not the long but mistaken argument, but the word madam never occurs in my legitimate email, and whatever was found on the site could be included in calculating the probability of the email being a spam. And only good people can ride the thermals if they hit them anyway. Here is an example of that rare bird, a spam that gets through the filters of someone who responds to a spam. 99. So you shouldn't do it if you don't have a good idea, because something changed, and no one has committed yet? How do you do? To some extent you have to put up with the bullshit forced on you, the more survives. They're saying He invested in Google.

One thing you learn when you get rich is that there are many different kinds of software being used simultaneously. The agreement by which you invest should have provisions that let you contribute to future rounds to maintain your percentage. Steve and Alexis. If they don't need you, it will stop working, and the most interesting fifteen tokens, where interesting is measured by how far their spam probability is from a neutral. They send spam because it works. Second, I think it will be accepted even if its spam probability is from a neutral.6 And the cost of checks, you can always write that book, or climb that mountain, or whatever, and then you realize the window has closed. Acquirers know the rule holds for them too: if users love you, you can do it on a smaller scale without moving. It occurs mostly in unsubscribe instructions, but here is used in a completely innocent way. Don't get hung up on mechanics or deal terms. The best way to get experience if you're 21 is to start startups, and explain which are real. That's why I love working on Y Combinator.

Notes

I'm not saying we should be working on what interests you most. 2%. The US is the discrepancy between government receipts as a single snapshot, but less than 1.

And I'm sure for every startup founder could pull the same work faster.

They then grant the founders chose? Think it's too late to launch. The undergraduate curriculum or trivium whence trivial consisted of Latin grammar, rhetoric, and journalists—have the perfect point to spread them.

That would be on demand, and partly because it consisted of three stakes. But when you had in grad school, because such companies need huge numbers of users comes from a mediocre VC. She ventured a toe in that water a while we might think it is very common, to the Bureau of Labor. People who know the combination of a rolling close doesn't mean easy, of course some uncertainty about how closely the remarks attributed to Confucius and Plato saw themselves as teachers of administrators, and some just want that first few million.

It is the unpromising-seeming startups encounter mediocre investors almost all do, so they had to bounce back. It is probably part of grasping evolution was to become one of the word wealth. The First Industrial Revolution, England was already the richest of their hands thus tended to be high, and Windows, respectively.

5% a week for 4 years. They would probably find it hard to grasp the cachet that term had.

#automatically generated text #Markov chains #Paul Graham #Python #Patrick Mooney #months #problem #companies #li #US #company #top #agreement #remarks #tokens #Silicon #sup #deal #ideas #option #someone #word #country #world #time #area #purposes #Stanford #Berkeley

[strangelittlestories]

Shadows of the Revolution

Dearest Oliver,

I write to you, not knowing who else I can spill these inky confessions to.

I know that, in all likelihood, they will never reach you. Indeed, if by some chance the words are swallowed up and carried to you by some hungry shadow, I imagine you are bored of my drunken prattlings and apologies by now.

This is not one of those, though. So perhaps this will be a pleasant change of pace for you. (In whatever Nightmare infested shadowland my failures left you in.)

In those days of revolution, when so many gained liberty or justice or other high ideals (while I lost hearth, home, family and … you), I always carried a little voice with me who said it was my fault.

If you had been a better noble, you would have fought against the corruption that ruined us...

If you had been a better man, you may have found a middle ground that was not so blood-paved...

If you had been a better soldier, you might have swayed the war one way or another...

If you had been a better son, then that night at the palace (as the shadows poured out of the basement) you would have died with your father.

But I was none of those things. All I had was our gin-soaked bohemia, our playground occultism, and our eventual half-hearted rebellion. Meanwhile, the revolution happened to us and I never imagined I would be - if I survived - of any significance to it. Except to be one more former-royalist who rather let both sides down by not caring or thinking or trying too hard about anything…

Imagine my surprise, firstly, when I found myself dragged from the bottom of the bottle, away from my laudanum stained spellbook, and tasked with the unenviable challenge of hunting demons. And, worst of all, finding that (when not scared of drunk out of my mind), I actually cared about it.

Imagine my surprise, secondly, when I discovered that perhaps I had someone to blame for that night at the palace, other than myself, after all.

Imagine my surprise, thirdly, to find that not only was there someone to blame, but that I found myself caring enough to do it.

What has become of me, my dear afternoon darjeeling, when I find myself weighed down with concepts like ‘justice’ or ‘responsibility’? All I can say is that while those two ideas are heavy as chains, I find that those bonds seem to lead me upwards unto the horizon…

(Instead of our customary gutters where we passed so many pleasant evenings)...

It is strange in a world now filled with ideas given life, that there should be no space for those lead us upwards. All the creatures who have crept out of the closet and insist on bumping in the night seem to be utter rotters. Vengeance. Shame. Fear. Why do the exemplars of our Dreaming Dead not find a way to walk amongst us?

Why should justice be such an ephemeral thing, when the things that sully us are so solid?

For I know what they will say. Such shadows are not things to offend the public’s panicked sensibilities. The foundations of the revolution cannot be undermined - we would risk all the progress and ideals we fought for, just to stick to … our ideals.

They will add too that the culprits in the Cadre of the Broken Fist have already suffered tortures for their crimes. That they, too, were wrecked by their foul workings. Their heads clouded by the tendrils of living shame that clawed like roots in their souls.

Am I supposed to pity them that their monstrosity brought forth monsters? To hold them less accountable for the butcher who fattened their guilt like a calf for winter?

What are these demons if not our own worst habits given form? What are feelings if not creatures crawling and swarming up space in our brains?

Do you think my head any clearer than those with Nightmares squatting in them?

Does my guilt have less a telltale pulse for not having a name?

Does my rage demand less of me simply because it was not birthed by a dark cult?

These are fallacies of course.

My guilt has a name. It is my own.

In its way, my rage was born in that same expulsion of sorcery and grotesque fairy tale in which this new world was born.

(A funny though, isn't that? That the revolution was conceived in light but took its first breath in darkness? Rather the opposite of the usual way of things…)

So do not tell me, Oliver my sweet dreamwind, that they suffer too. I know they do. And if I let myself, I would pity them the way I used to pity myself.

You think I do not understand them?

In the crucible they made, I killed my past in the hopes of running for the future.

But you can't reach the future by fleeing.

So, if I must, I will turn and face their past too. And drag the whole bloody and tangled mess of our sins into the light.

By all the Dreaming Dead, I swear, I will not pity them as the executioner's axe kisses their necks.

To do so would be to pity myself. I am done with that.

No, I hold more sympathy in my heart for the shadows this cabal dragged unwilling into the world than I do for them. Or me.

What does that say? For a hunter of Nightmares (as, despite my cowardice, I must admit that's what I've become) to pity those shadows he puts to blade and brimstone?

Does that make me more or less human I suppose? Who gets to decide which killers are worthy of sympathy?

I suppose my sympathy goes to those creatures that have not had the choice to be anything else.

I have none left for the wretches like the Fist. Or myself.

This may be the last letter I write to you, my beloved lost star.

As ever, I shall burn it with my one good candle, and hope the ashes reach whatever fade-swept place you now reside.

My love for you remains, as all things in my life, intoxicating, shame-fuelled and burning with a hunger that would devour the dawn.

All my love,

Billy

[fineillsignup]

Taking Chakra Nature to 11: some headcanons

Buckle up because it’s gonna be a long ride.

So one of the things that makes Naruto so attractive as a fandom (as opposed to as a franchise) is that there’s all this tantalizing potential that was never realized, just waiting for someone to pick it up and expand on it. In particular, some writers are worldbuilders by nature and some are just not. (Tolkien would be an example of a extremely worldbuilding-focused writer.) Kishimoto is in the “just not” category.

Chakra nature is a great example of a part of the Naruto world that could be taken up to eleven. Why? Well, there’s the good old “why not” reason, which is sufficient in itself, but also, people just love categorization. There’s a reason why people always want to sort themselves for Hogwarts houses, endlessly prattle about zodiac signs, and why the Naruto databooks include bloodtype. But they don’t! Include! Chakra nature!!!!

That’s frankly ludicrous. The chakra natures in the corner merely indicate which chakra natures that person can utilize, not which is their own nature; this isn’t very helpful because some people like Kakashi can use all five. Moreover, one of the very major characters of the franchise--the anti-hero, Sasuke--is shown to be fire natured yet to largely prefer lightning techniques, making it clear that chakra nature is not 1-to-1 correlated with someone’s most frequent jutsu.

And it’s not like Kishimoto would have had to do a huge amount of work coming up with chakra nature connections to personality and society, because these five elements already exist as a powerful Japanese cultural concept. 

He simply needed to connect that to the Naruto world and its characters.

But I guess I need to do all the work around here! :3c

Regarding kekkei genkai--I headcanon that even people with kekkei genkai have a primary nature, but you could also combine two natures instead.

Earth Nature (Earth, Dirt, Stone) 地 and 土

Examples of Canon Characters: ??? (I don’t think we’re ever explicitly told that a character is earth nature, although many characters use earth release) Examples of Headcanon Characters: Haruno Sakura, Oonoki, Deidara, Suigetsu, Sasori Personality Traits (not all found in each person obviously): Stable, stubborn, inflexible, endurance, short-tempered, wise, reliable, responsible, sense of perspective, patient, centred, literal Common Body Types: Mesomorphic (muscular); may be lean or broad; shorter than average (closer to hell); blunt fingers (but often surprisingly deft and precise) Climate Interactions: Earth natured people tolerate both heat and cold pretty well. When it’s cold they dress warmly and when it’s hot they dress for that too. Sensible. Japanese symbol: square; Naruto uses the kanji 土 rather than 地 for some reason; they both mean earth and the differences are too subtle to go into briefly Why does earth dominate water/water enhance earth? Earth stops the flow of water and can control its shape. Water can imbue earth with more weight and power, including fertile power. What does this mean for the Land of Earth? “That’s the way we’re going to do it. We’ve always done it that way.” The Land of Earth in my headcanon was the last and slowest great nation to centralize/organize, however, slow and steady may win the race as it has had very little internal conflict. Other Notes: Earth nature? In my Sakura? It’s more likely than you think.

Kakashi did the chakra nature test when Sakura wasn’t around and then, as far as we can tell, never even bothered to find out what hers was???? LOLsob. Tertiary materials like games usually make Sakura water natured, but I prefer earth nature for her. She definitely can use earth jutsu. Her personality, strengths and flaws, seems to fall along earth lines rather than water lines. In addition, I just like the balance of Team 7 when Sasuke and Naruto are fire-wind and Sakura is across the circle at earth; most of my headcanon teams follow that kind of pattern.

“Okay, but Suigetsu? Earth nature? Now you’re just fucking with us.” Not at all; I’m going after one of Kishimoto’s own weird choice to constantly remind us that Suigetsu is weak to lightning. Now I’m sure that Kishimoto just meant “if lightning strikes water you’re in for a bad time” and nothing deeper than that, but in the five elements pattern of domination, it’s earth that is weak against lightning jutsu.

There’s no reason Suigetsu can’t be an earth natured person who specializes in water jutsu, anymore than Sasuke’s fire nature stops him from specializing in electric jutsu. Perhaps, and this is all headcanon but it’s fun so just try and stop me, it is Suigetsu’s earth chakra nature that helps keep his body from completely falling apart and dissipating while he’s performing his unique ability to turn into water?

Water Nature 水

Examples of Canon Characters: Tobirama Examples of Headcanon Characters: Sai, Kisame, Hashirama, Kabuto, Personality Traits: Adaptable, flexible, progressive, curious, reactive, emotional, mutable, gullible, empathic, unstable, resilient, morose, sensitive Common Body Types: Endomorphic (soft, higher in body fat); taller than average; long-limbed with flexible joints; larger hands and feet with tapered digits Climate Interactions: Poor water nature people. They hate heat. They hate cold. They hate humidity. They hate super dry environments. Basically, they are volatile and easily bothered by all kinds of things, including temperature and climate. Japanese symbol: Circle Why does water dominate fire/fire enhance water? Water douses flame, obviously. Fire can turn water into steam, expanding its range and potential. What does this mean for the Land of Water? Oh my God, is the Land of Water ever volatile in canon! This can be bad obviously (hello, kekkei genkai genocide) but it doesn’t necessarily have to be so. The Land of Water went within about a dozen years from mass genocide of kekkei genkai to having a leader with two kekkei genkai (the criminally underused Terumi Mei). There’s no inertia here. You can’t ever relax, but you can potentially really change things, including people’s hearts and minds. Other Notes: none at the moment

Fire Nature 火

Examples of Canon Characters: Sasuke, Madara, Itachi, Obito, THE UCHIHA Examples of Headcanon Characters: Tsunade, Orochimaru, Jiraiya, Hiruzen (aka gee I wonder if drama will happen here); Guy Personality Traits: Passionate, reforming, self-righteous, ambitious, driven, creative, focused, confident, fragile, extreme, energetic, motivated, tenacious, greedy, proud, idealistic, resentful Common Body Types: Ectomorphic (lean); high metabolism; average height; great skin and hair (because of their great circulation); either super healthy or near death, no in-between Climate Interactions: Fire people are always hot. They are the people who wear shorts all year round and start a revolution with their tiddies out (yes I’m looking at you Sasuke). They are not particularly bothered by external weather. Japanese symbol: Triangle Why does fire dominate wind/wind enhance fire? Fire consumes air and becomes stronger, like canon tells us. What does this mean for the Land of Fire? I headcanon that because of its central location on the map and prosperity, the Land of Fire has the most diverse population in terms of chakra natures, so while fire nature is the majority there are still a larger number of other natures than most countries. (From a meta perspective, this also makes it more fun to write a Konoha-centric story.) However, the Will of Fire and Konoha’s idealism is a definite Big Mood and something that other nations notice. Other Notes: I imagine that this element is most likely to be the chakra nature of those whose bloodline abilities are strongly connected with Yang Release.

Wind Nature (Wind, Air) 風

Examples of Canon Characters: Y’already know who it is!!! (blaring air horn) Oh and Asuma. Examples of Headcanon Characters: Temari, Baki, Gaara, Chiyo Personality Traits: Free-spirited, distractible, innovative, unorthodox, open, relaxed, compassionate, empathetic, benevolent, charitable, loving, evasive, passive-aggressive, impulsive, withdrawn, avoidant, penetrating Common Body Types: Lean or muscular, average to short Climate Interactions: Throw on a shirt, and then a sweatshirt over the shirt and a cloak around the sweatshirt because wind people are always cold. “Cold hands, warm heart” often applies to them. They like heat and aren’t bothered by humidity or dryness. Japanese symbol: Crescent Why does wind dominate lightning/lightning enhance wind? Well, it doesn’t, because lightning as an element makes no sense. But void, on the other hand, does. Void is a vacuum, and air rushes to fill a vacuum without itself being harmed by the vacuum. What does this mean for the Land of Wind? Wind people have a lot of openness and caring but also voted Most Likely to Sulk for a Hundred Years When Things Go Wrong. The Land of Wind in canon appears to be the least naturally rich in the essentials of life (water, food, etc), and to have the most dickish daimyo, so it’s kind of unsurprising that the Wind leadership collectively got hella depressed after their one bad idea after another failed. Other Notes: They say in canon that the wind chakra nature is “rare” but I’m headcanoning that this just means “rare in the Land of Fire”.

Lightning (Electricity, Void, Vacuum, Nothingness) 雷 or 空

Examples of Canon Characters: Kakashi Examples of Headcanon Characters: Hinata, Neji, Shikamaru, Darui, Sakumo, Killer Bee Personality Traits: Mysterious, thoughtful, reflective, fatalistic, imperturbable,  spontaneous, quick, detached, aware, intuitive, selfless, passive, negative, wise, analytical, elegant, eccentric Common Body Types: Most diversity in body type Climate Interactions: The least bothered by external temperatures. Aware of them, but probably dresses however regardless. Japanese symbol: Jewel-shape Why does lightning dominate earth/earth enhance lightning? Again, it only makes sense if the element is void or vacuum. While air filling a vacuum is essentially unharmed, earth-y substances don’t handle decompression well. (Imagine if Lightning Release could be used for explosive decompression based jutsu... now that’s scary.) What does this mean for the Land of Lightning? “We’re talking about the issues but we’re keeping it funky” is a line from Flight of the Conchords, but it is also how I imagine a culture that is majority Lightning-nature people best functioning. Other Notes: none at the moment

All of the above is just some ideas to play with! And of course there’s the pondering about how chakra nature is passed on--is it genetic? Epigenetic (traits that can be switched on or off by environmental factors)? Do two people who have children together pass on the more dominant nature? Is that perhaps why Wind nature is rarest in the Land of Fire (because Fire and Wind parents will always pass on Fire)? What are the chakra nature patterns in the little countries?

Feel free to play with my ideas, expand, change them, whatever! No need for credit if you do.

#chakra natures #naruto #naruto analysis #headcanons #long post #like really long #worldbuilding

[nmshostclub]

Macthup!156 cm/Sagittarius/skinny awkward nerd+rectangular glasses. Waist length almost black hair in braid. Skin=light-tan/big dark brown eyes. Humorous with friends/quiet with strangers/spaz by myself, making jokes+memes. My hobbies=drawing+obsessing over favorite fandoms (Voltron/anime/videogames)+voice acting. N00b at love, I'd be very clingy/giving many hugs+cuddles+compliments. I want love by hugs/cuddles+massages. For a date=black skinny jeans/high boots/white shirt/black blazer.

-Senpai:  Ai-senpai ships you with  . . . Jae-senpai!!

-A lucky item:  A silly mug. It can be Where Waldo or a saying like “Space Dad is best Dad.” Or one that says “ Shark Wars “ from a aquarium.  A simple, strong mug that would be washed daily to be filled up again with coffee or tea after a night filled with watching a whole season of a new series.

-First encounter:

    You watched enough anime, read enough manga and fan-fiction to get a ideal first encounter from the man of your dreams. Thoughts would swim in your head as you thought about how easily someone could meet the one.  Like a gamer could meet their match in a game chatroom or maybe a anime discussion forum?

    However you found found ‘him’ somewhere you thought you would never enter again….. gym class.

  Personally you just imagined the fact that you could be munching on snacks as you read the latest Voltron fan comic or doing something better than sweating and running. Yet, much like most things, the school board had to ruin that blissful moment. They thought it would be unfair for you not to get your fair share of a whole class period doing nothing but working out. 

    That’s not even the worst part, you couldn’t even take gym with the guys. Since you’re unable to change since the locker rooms are filled with teenage boys and other reasons that teachers seem to come up from. You’re forced in dance club. 

Luckily, you played enough Dance Dance Revolution and watched Yuri On Ice!!! twice, so you got this. Well, you thought you did.

  In the first meeting you went to, they were trying to randomly pair with the members to practice a dance routine.  Many of the members (Old or new) hoped to get paired with you. In the end, a  second year student was your partner. One that seems to be excited to get paired up with the cafe girl, but later terrified in the end after one round.

   So... maybe DDR isn't the best way to learn how to dance but just how to stomp on target when told to. Let’s say he won’t be walking if he dances with you again. 

       That wasn’t much for you and Jae to get to know each other but it lit a spark. One that began to burn as he spoke about you to Hideki after coming out of one of their classes. Jae would go on about how she stepped on the guy's foot and got so nervous when he yelped in pain. She apologized a million times as he assured her it was nothing. His face told everyone that wasn’t so.

    Hideki would laugh telling him if he thinks she's that bad then to give her private lessons for her to get better.  Jae just chuckled at that idea as he punched Hideki’s arm. Telling him she wasn’t bad, just a bit of a beginner to dance. Betting that she get way better in the next week of dance club.

-Interactions:

 Many interactions happen through dance club, since the only reason you keep going is to keep your grades up.  After some meetings, you got a bit better, you still fell when trying to do some moves. But instead of blushing red at your mistakes, you smiled. Brushing it off with a joke. Making Jae laugh as he helps you up.

 Jae soon gets to know the real you. The dorky nerd side of the girl that would step on people’s toes in dance practice.  Falling into a small crush for his student.

Later the attitude you and Jae had for each other would transfer in the cafe, which he came to more often with the more lessons you took. Sadly, his orders would always be to-go because of his busy schedule, but you would take this moment to write little jokes or drawing faces on his cup. Always making Jae smile.  

-Confession:

 When Jae said the words, “I like you”, you backed up for a minute. Which worried Jae to have that kind of reaction to his confession, later a sigh of relief paired with a small smile was painted on his face. Caused by the fact you asked if he was telling that to you or maybe a really hot ghost by you that you couldn’t see.

 The confession happened by the park after you met up with Jae outside of his band’s studio. They’re on break, but it doesn’t mean they don’t hang out or just practice for fun.  

 “Nope, I like you.” he said confidently this time. Only to get a small pit in his heart that quickly made him turn white if you didn’t say anything that was around the idea “I like you too,”.

 “Oh.” You huffed, tugging on your braid.

   “I guess I maybe- could have like a small. . . or huge thing for you too.” You blushed. Trying to hide your face with your hair.

  Jae couldn’t help but to find your behavior cute, he never saw your blush like this before.

 “Well,” He moved his arm around your shoulders. “I guess that maybe we could have like a thing for each other.”

“I guess we do.”

-First date/type of dates frequented:

As much as you think staying indoors, going out is quite a adventure, now that Jae would ask you to go somewhere with him wherever he has the chance. Dates in internet cafes, anywhere with wifi really, the café, even the mall where half of it is filled with pop culture shops. He always manages to buy that one tee you have your eye on since you came to the mall. Like seriously, you hadn't been near it the whole day and here he is handing it to you after looking at soaps in ‘Above the Home’ (The new ‘Hello’ collection smells wonderful, I may add).

 You guys always end your trip by heading over to the food court. Sharing a large order of cheese fries. In moments like this, they would often laugh about life and their interests. And memes. How could I forget about the memes?

FIRST KISS-

 Jae was about to pass out due to his nerves. Good nerves. Feeling giddy, like slowly cranking up a roller coaster kind of nerves. The simple kiss came quick and chaste. Then, with the realization that they’d done it. They shared a laugh. Both fumbling their hands as Jae was the one in shock as you couldn’t believe you had made the first move. Plus, not to mention the fact it was unexpected for both of them. For you, it happened due to the fact you noticed how close your faces were.  Later than moment would be ruined when one question floated in the air.

  “What was that?” Your eyebrows scrunched up, making you ask what he meant. He later explains if this was going to be a ‘thing’ now. Making you laugh. Later answering his question with another peck on the lips.

-Long term relationship:

 You were very ‘blush-ish’ at first.  Jae would tease you a bit because of this, wanting to lighten the mood. As time past you feel  more comfortable, letting cuddles and kisses get introduced to the relationship. You still have your fair share of fights but it just takes someone to say something funny to make it better. Or just someone pushed someone’s button in a way where they can’t help but burst into laughter.

You stopped going to dance club after a semester.  Since it was the maximum you needed to do for the rest of high school.  Jae couldn’t help but get bummed when hearing this news. Nevertheless that doesn't stop him from asking you to be his partner when he want to try a dance routine out. In return he would play a multiplayer player game with you. Making it worth your wild, as he picks the most stupid usernames. Getting to it little fits whenever he dies at an unfair point in the game.

Maybe even watching some of your shows with you, getting him struck in the plot. You caught him watching it late in night, telling you that he couldn’t stop now. You have to let him finish the fifth season at least before you tell him to go to sleep.

The relationship is a sweet friends to lovers kinda scene. People will think that you're just friends, only to be pushed off a cliff and drop down to a pool clarity when you tell them that that isn't the case.  

#yes someone into voltron #season 8 killed me #match UPS #match up #jae #breakdance senpai #ask #anon

[magus-of-the-color-pizza]

Tarkir--Broken and Bowed

I think it is past the time for me to answer a very important question. A question that’s hanging from everyone’s lips, here in the mtg fandom. A question so fundamental, so omnipresent in our lives that someone just oughta do it. Someone has to step up and take a shot. And I guess that someone’s gon’ be me, for once.

You already know what I’m talking about, so let’s dive straight in, shall we?

“What will happen next on Tarkir?”

Ahhhh, we’re back again with this wonderful plane. I don’t plan for this to be a very long piece (Narrator: “it ended up, in fact, long as f***”), I’m just going to give a few thoughts of mine. And don’t worry, this post isn’t going to go near the so-called Dragonlord Discourse (because, spoiler, they’re all bad), we’re talking about events here, not morals.

There are a few things to consider. Firstly, let’s talk about the current state of Tarkir: The Dragons rule the 5 clans, having reshaped them to their will and desires. The humanoid condition is worsened overall on the plane in varying degrees across the clans, but humanoid submission to Dragons within their clan is absolute, there is no current, direct struggle in the internal hierarchy, but there are humanoid behaviors that get directly and mercilessly punished by the draconic overlords. So to say that there is no friction between the two “orders” (I can’t really say species since Humanoids are made up of a variety of species) even within the same clans is wildly incorrect.

Given this situation, though, there are reasons to believe that a fight could break out between Dragons and Humanoids, with the correct circumstances and timing. Let us not forget that Sidisi is brewing poison to kill Silumgar, Anafenza’s spirit is aiding humanoid soldiers and perhaps will inspire some to research abzan necromancy (the same way Oret did), Narset has discovered The Truth (Jeskai records about the past and the Khanfall), Surrak openly states that he only respects the dragons because they’re stronger (read: if I could kick their butt I would), Arel, a temur shaman, is rediscovering the clan’s lost magic and desires a world without dragons, and Zurgo... well, he ain’t doin’ much at the moment, but luckily we have a former Mardu member in Sarkhan. So we have some potential for rebellions across the clans. In addition, both Narset and Sarkhan are planeswalkers, so they could potentially call in some help on this one, and last we saw of them they were going to meet Ugin and then head to the lands of the Atarka to find out more of their past (did I mention Arel already?). And, of course, there are many other elements to consider, such as the Silumgar Infallibles and their questionable loyalty, the Rakshasas, the Temur elementals... you get the idea.

Before we talk any further about where this could go, though, we must acknowledge the elephant in the room. Or rather, the Spirit Dragon:

Why talk about Ugin, even though he’s not currently on the plane? Two reasons: 1) he is directly responsible for the Dragon Tempests and 2) with his obsession over balance, the Planeswalker would/will most likely interfere if things weren’t going his way. So, what can we do now?

Firstly, we need to speculate a little bit. Unfortunately, in Unbroken and Unbowed, the story where Sarkhan finally meets Ugin and they try to piece together what has occurred, Ugin does not explicitly state what he thinks of the current state of Tarkir. However, since it seems as though he did not intervene (aside from the Dragon Tempests, I mean) in the Fate Reforged balance (both Orders alive, in conflict with each other + the other clans), we can presume that he found that situation acceptable or even ideal (for whatever reason). In addition, while it is fairly obvious that Ugin wishes for the existence of dragons on the plane (since he creates the Tempests), he also appears to wish for Humanoids to exist, since, to quote Shu-Yun, “He gave us concealment magic, the last time the dragons seemed to be gaining the upper hand.” Therefore, it seems as though both the Khans and the Dragons timeline would not suit his desires for the plane.

So! Let’s take a look at the possible results of the Dragon/Humanoid conflict:

1) Both species exist, locked in an endless conflict (Fate Reforged);

2) Humanoids win and exterminate the dragons (Khans). To be noted, this outcome is only possible if Ugin dies or interrupts the Tempests; and

3) Dragons win and submit the clans and the humanoids (Dragons). Also to be noted, this result was brought about by the sharp uptick in Dragon Tempests (which Yasova states have increased “fourfold”).

With Ugin against options 2 and 3, and his influence over the plane not to be underestimated, what will happen next? Will he try to pit the two Orders against each other again, in order to return to an FrF-like state? My guess is, probably. And with the seeds of rebellion we’ve seen spread across the plane, the conflict is sure to break out. But the real question is, is Wizards going to make Tarkir go back to an FrF state? Or is there another way, a mysterious fourth path?

You’ve probably already guessed it so there’s no need for me to beat around the bush so much: Coexistence. “Wait but what about the conflict you wanna have a world with no c-” The 5 clans can still go at each other’s throats, what I’m talking about it coexistence between humanoids and dragons of the same clan/brood.

Is there still conflict? Check. Brand new relation at the basis of Tarkirian society? Check. Would Ugin support it? ... maybe. We know that he would not refute it simply on the balance he seems to strive for, since both dragons and Humanoids would be alive, kickin’, and not subjugated. Is it possible to achieve? Perhaps. There are a lot of variables to keep in mind. I’m sure Sarkhan could come around to this idea rather quickly, as the dragons would still be treated with much respect among their clans, they just wouldn’t be a part of a racist oligarchy. But Sarkhan is only one man (although a very powerful and, on this plane, potentially influential one), would it possible to get the clans and the dragons to agree on this? As far as the clans go, I’m going to say... I think it’s possible. We have an element that was previously (in FrF) unavailable, and that is that Dragons are now entrenched in the society of the clans. Back when the shift to Khans happened, Dragons had never been anything more than enemy. Now, while they are dictatorial, it is very difficult for Humanoids to envision a clan completely devoid of them. In some cases (particularly in the Dromoka and Ojutai, somewhat rarer in the Atarka and Kolaghan, quite rare in the Silumgar), there are positive interactions between the two orders and there are Humanoids that view their Dragons, or at least some of them, in a very positive light.

So we’ve potentially got Ugin and the clans on board. Now comes the crux of the issue: what about the dragons themselves? After all, didn’t they fight until they all died in Khans?

Well, you make a good point. Do we really think that the Dragons, and, specifically, the Dragonlords, would (eventually, and only if they were on the losing side, of course) agree to such terms or would they keep fighting until the end? Do these five look like they’d come to terms with that?

The answer is, well, no. After a thousand years of being the undisputed rulers of their clans, these gals (and guys) would most likely not accept that. So, uhh... what we do?

But ah, my good friend. The answer often lies in the question itself, and the best answers are the ones that solve multiple problems at once. After all, while the Humanoids may be willing to accept Dragons in general in their new clans, I have a really hard time seeing them become a part of it, even if they wished to. Aside from the massive power imbalance having them be in the clan would create (Who’s the real leader? Some dude that has been khan for a few years or millennia old ex-Dragonlord?), the five can be seen as a personification of draconic rule over the Humanoids (which they basically are), and will therefore be instrumental in the Humanoid rebellion/revolution/whatchamacallit. In what role? Ask question, get answer!

Killing the Dragonlords accomplishes three critically important things:

1) It gets rid of them. It seems obvious, but, as stated above, they would be a problem. So, it’s good to point it out;

2) It gives Humanoids a sense of purpose and a common enemy (before killing them) and it awards them a significant milestone which will/would be instrumental in ending the war without genocide; and

3) the five are not only tyrants of the clans, but they are the leaders of their broods. By eliminating them, the remaining dragons will be in disarray and more likely to accept some sort of compromise rather than to fight without purpose.

So, to summarize my ingenious plan, what has to happen is: Humanoids get some extra leverage against dragons (that’s where Ugin/Sarkhan/Narset come into play), the already present seeds of rebellion are allowed to grow and flourish until conflict breaks out, which ends with the death of the Dragonlords and a deal between the clans and their respective broods, leading to Dragons and humanoids coexisting.

Then it’s every clan for themselves again, as per usual... but now, with dragons!

If you’ve read all the way so far, thank you so much! I’m glad you found my thoughts interesting enough to do so. I apologize if it got kinda messy at some point but it’s nearly 1am here and I’m quite tired from today. Feel free to reblog or comment with any thought you have on the matter, I’d love to hear them and I’d love to get a conversation started! 

See you all next time, planeswalkers, and heed my advice: dragons may act high and mighty, but remember this?

Yeah. Take that, you oversized lizards.

#tarkir #mtg #magic the gathering #dragons #khans #dtk #ktk #frf #dragons of tarkir #khans of tarkir #sarkhan vol #ugin the spirit dragon #narset #dragonlords #speculation #vorthos

[geopolicraticus]

The Red Pill for Philosophers and Scientists

On the Possibility of Living in Truth for Those Who Hold Truth as an Ideal 

“The Red Pill” has become a pervasive metaphor since the 1999 film The Matrix, in which the protagonist is offered a choice between taking a red pill and a blue pill. The red pill has come to signify difficult and unpleasant truths, while the blue pill has come to signify the comfortable and comforting lies with which most people are pacified. 

There is a relationship between the idea of the red pill and Vaclav Havel’s conception of “living in truth.” An individual may not be able to change a dishonest society, but one can still choose to live in truth in the midst of a dishonest society simply by refusing to go along with the lies that others are willing to tolerate. There is a cost—often a high cost—to living in truth, but it is always an option for us, even if it is a difficult path to walk. “Taking the red pill” is in many contexts essentially the idea that one is living in truth, that is say, that one has recognized and acknowledged the unpleasant truths that others try not to see, and one thus lives in the full consciousness of that knowledge. 

Havel’s conception of living in truth had a further implication, and that is the idea of a parallel polis: that the extant social order is so corrupt that it is beyond reform, so that the only option left for those who have chosen to live in truth is to opt out of the extant social order and create a parallel social order, a parallel polis, in which the false and failed social order is simply ignored, and one lives and acts as though living in a parallel society in which one is not forced to assent to lies—the parallel polis is a society in which all live in truth.  

While Havel’s concept of living in truth remains an inspiration, the parallel polis never grew to a scope at which it had to be reckoned with (i.e., it never became a power in its own right), and, after the Iron Curtain fell, the institutions of civil society in regions where the parallel polis seemed to be the only option for those living in truth mostly retained their legitimacy and transitioned to remain viable under a new political dispensation. In many nation-states formerly behind the Iron Curtain, the only institutions that were permanently and irretrievably forsaken were the ruling communist parties in these states and the secret police apparatus of each.   

In other words, the compromised institutions of state, education, industry, and so on, were reformed and are now largely considered to be institutions in good standing, their past collusion with communist dictatorship notwithstanding. This is an important and a sobering lesson for us today. We can live in truth at our own expense, but the initiative to create a parallel society is not likely to be successful, because institutions have an enormous weight of social inertia behind them—so much that even profoundly corrupt institutions are more likely to be salvaged than to be junked.

This, then, is one “red pill” for scientists and philosophers who wish to live in truth (and, hopefully, the majority of scientists and philosophers do want to live in truth) but who also wish to be in the good graces of institutions that are in a position to grant status, opportunities, career advancement, and remuneration. Moreover, when it comes to the lifework of scientists and philosophers, institutions not only confer benefits upon the individual, but also confer benefits upon the ideas of individuals, so that a well-placed individual is in a position for their ideas to be transformed into a scientific research program with institutional backing, meaning that these ideas will transcend the life of the individual and will become a social and cultural legacy. That is a powerful inducement to cooperate with institutions, no matter how corrupt they are.

There are, however, many red pills, including many red pills for philosophers and scientists contemplating life-altering choices. There are many red pills, recognized in different communities, as each community has its own bête noir and its forbidden fruit and its unspeakable realities that inevitably attract the curious no less than the malevolent. And because the red pill has become such a pervasive metaphor, there is predictably a reaction against it, as in any social milieu there will be decent people and jackasses alike on both sides of every issue. Thus there are decent people who refuse whatever red pill is offered, and bad actors who see the same red pill as an opportunity, which they eagerly embrace. Thus it has been quite easy to tar with the same brush all those who have taken the red pill as being deluded opportunists who believe themselves to have grasped a Truth that others have not the courage to see.

The most painful red pill that philosophers and scientists have to swallow is this: no one is on your side. You have no side, other than other scholars, and many of those other scholars will be your rivals who are invested in scientific research programs you may consider pointless or harmless at best, or pernicious and malign at worst. It’s like the old Quaker saying: everyone is queer except me and thee, and sometimes I think thee is queer.

The rivalry for funding alternative scientific research programs means that scholars who might agree in principle that science should be funded, cannot agree on who exactly should receive this funding. If it were my call to make (and it’s not; I am utterly powerless), I would require that ten percent of every large grant for research (everything over some given dollar amount—say, a million dollars) go to adversarial research. Someone would have to be put in charge of funneling money to the scientific rivals of grantees, including those (especially those) whom the grantees sincerely believe to be mistaken, if not mentally defective.

If it is mostly true that scientists have no allies and are well and truly alone, it is indubitably true for philosophers. If you think that someone is on your side, you are deluded, plain and simple. No one is. You have no tribe; you have no people. As a philosopher you are a wanderer in the wilderness, and you cannot return to society from the wilderness without compromising yourself. Philosophy’s entanglements with power have not been to its credit. Plato’s mission to Dionysius of Syracuse, Aristotle’s education of Alexander the Great, and Seneca’s tutelage of Nero all speak to an admirable desire to have a beneficent influence, but it could be argued that the least effective of these and such efforts were also the least harmful.

Since the nineteenth century philosophers have been transforming themselves into academics, and have gained a measure of bourgeois respectability by this path. Many philosophers today get married, have families, and own a comfortable house in the suburbs with a white picket fence and a reasonably new car in the driveway. This is all well and good for personal fulfillment, but philosophy is not about personal fulfillment.

Perhaps the historical dialectic between being an isolated eccentric and being a respectable bourgeois citizen is the philosopher’s version of departure and return, for we have been here before. Once universities began to be founded in western Europe, at a time when no distinction was made between philosophers and scientists, philosophers were at the center of this development, and philosophy was ensconced within university institutions for hundreds of years, until the scientific revolution and modernization so transformed the landscape of thought that the whole tradition of professional medieval philosophy—Scholasticism, as it is usually called—was largely abandoned. Much of the logical work of late medieval philosophy only came into wide recognition again in the twentieth century, so completely was it disregarded after Descartes.

This same early modern period dominated by Descartes and the epistemic turn in philosophy was a time of great social turmoil in which philosopher’s lives were on the line with each pronouncement. A book or a pamphlet could result in a literal death sentence. During the sixteenth century, pretty much every western European philosopher spent some part of their life in Holland, because the Netherlands at this time was wealthy from their seaborne trading empire and they were tolerant, meaning that they allowed philosophers to live mostly unmolested, even if they wrote unorthodox books—a rare thing in early modern Europe. Spinoza is perhaps the most obvious example of this, although Descartes, Locke, and Hobbes were also part of this philosophical diaspora. 

Spinoza, enjoying the quiet life in Holland, received a letter from I. Lewis Fabritius, Professor of the Academy of Heidelberg, and Councillor of the Elector Palatine, offering him a professorship at the University of Heidelberg, saying: “You will have the most ample freedom in philosophical teaching, which the prince is confident you will not misuse, to disturb the religion publicly established.” Spinoza replied with a letter that is a classic, hopefully known to all philosophers: “…I do not know the limits, within which the freedom of my philosophical teaching would be confined, if I am to avoid all appearance of disturbing the publicly established religion. Religious quarrels do not arise so much from ardent zeal for religion, as from men’s various dispositions and love of contradiction, which causes them to habitually distort and condemn everything, however rightly it may have been said.” This was true in Spinoza’s time, and it remains true in our time.

Spinoza knew he had to be cautious. Even sheltering in the Netherlands, he was several times under threat. He wrote that he long deliberated over the offer, and we have no reason to doubt the sincerity of this claim. We know that Spinoza was a thoughtful man, and he probably thought through all the advantages and disadvantages of accepting the position, ultimately deciding against it. Others might have decided differently; there are no right or wrong answers to questions like this. One chooses a path, and makes the best of it that one can.

There may well be further departures and future returns for philosophers and scientists as historical circumstances temporarily push them toward the center of events, and then the shifting currents of history push them away from the center to the outer periphery again. Whatever the currents portend, whichever way the wind may blow, for scientists and philosophers, life must be a cautious and continuous negotiation with the powers that be, and by “the powers that be” I do not mean only political regimes, their enforcers and their office holders, but also custom, tradition, social mores, and the tendency of the mob to riot when they are exposed to anything that lies outside their competence. Taking some public stance on a controversial issue is mostly foolhardy, especially if it gets one killed and therefore marks a sudden end to one’s research. Philosophers and scientists need to keep themselves alive, but they also need to avoid needless entanglement with institutions that can only compromise them. This is not an easy balancing act, but it is the highwire act demanded by those who would hold truth as their ideal.

#red pill #blue pill #Vaclav Havel #living in truth #parallel polis #Spinoza

[readingsbylibramc]

birth chart reading for @lemoncakelynx11

hello! welcome to your reading. I’m gonna give you a quick overview of what I’m going to analyze about your natal chart. feel free to ask me anything if something isn’t clear, of course. you’ll find out your dominants’ influence on your persona, your physical appearance, impression on others and the way you approach the world; your ego, identity, the real you; your reactions, your desires, inner emotions; your way of expressing your feelings, your mind and ideas; your desires and approach to love; your energy tank, instincts and temperament; in-depth analysis of each house with their rulers and analysis of heavy aspects; love life + soulmates/karmic partners interpretation; your relationship with your friends; your family life; your approach to career and work in general + possible jobs suggestion; your style, fashion sense analysis; life purpose and past life description; basic transits’ analysis to describe your current mood and, last but not least, your secret skills, how to make the most out of your soul and manifest what you desire based on your birth chart.

🦋 chart shape, dominants

your chart is a locomotive shape. this means that you're a very ambitious person, with a lot of energy. the moon has a big influence on you, and your life revolves around understanding your feelings and emotional growth. the empty part of your life is what you have to develop, hence your family, financial life and also your communication and thinking style.

your dominant planets are pluto, mars and jupiter. you are a very ambitious person, you probably have big goals for your life and you're strongly driven to achieve them all. you are very open-minded and intelligent, you could be quite spiritual and you may believe in fate. you could experience some karma in this lifetime, you may have ti endure some challenges to pay some karmic debts from your past lives, but once you learn the lesson you'll become very positive and optimistic.

your dominant sign is scorpio. you may have trust issues and be quite of a loner, yet once you commit to someone, you'll be in for a long ride. you are very deep, both mentally and emotionally. you may struggle with power control, as you may have the perception that people are trying to take advantage of you due to your insecurities. because of that, you may also get quite possessive and bossy.

your dominant element is water. you're very intuitive and empathetic, you care a lot about others, and you may seem like a healer to people you know. in fact, you always try to help them if you can, almost in a therapeutic way. you're also very spiritual, and you're attracted to anything related to discovering your higher self and soul purpose.

🌎 ascendant in pisces, 1° / 1st decan ruled by neptune

you appear as a very genuine and honest person. you have a reassuring aura about you, which could attract people to you. in fact, you seem and sound like a healer, hence broken people may find comfort in you. you’re an hopeless romantic, and this may make you look sort of naive, almost childlike. you feel the need to revolution the world, there’s an hidden rebel in you that needs change and justice. yet, you struggle to take action. it’s like your assertiveness is stuck deep inside of you, and you can’t take it out. hence, you cope with this through escapism; you may oversleep, overwork, drink, daydream, do drugs… anything that allows your mind to travel away from your sense of justice. you always want to be seen likeable, hence you may act differently based on the situation you’re in. you’re kind of a chameleon. in fact, pisces usually adopts some characteristics from all the signs, that’s why it’s considered confusing, or even fake. identity issues are also common with this placement, as you may feel the need to be part of a group, yet you can’t. you’re too complex to be part of only one category, you can’t classify yourself. you may often be, or at least look, sleepy. your eyes have a very dreamy look on them, and they’re probably very big and round. possibly, they’re also hooded. your skin may be naturally pale, or at least there’s something light on your face, even like some tiny sparkles in your eyes. you may also have a naturally good skin, and I’ve noticed that pisces rising people tend to have distinctive hands? for example, you may have long fingers or beautiful, natural long nails.

pisces ascendant conjunct pisces moon: this placement makes you look even softer than the typical pisces rising. in fact, you're kind of a cancer rising for some traits: you can read people's mood very well, it's easy for you to understand whether someone is sad, angry, happy... because of that, you always try to make people feel at ease, you're always kind with people, and that makes you extremely likeable. also, since the moon rules over feelings and the inner you, you're probably a very genuine person. it's hard for you to hide your real emotions, and even if you wanted to hide them you wouldn't be capable, you're not fake. you could also have frequent mood swings. you have a strong sense of family and comfort to you, and hence it's extremely essential for you feel at ease to truly be yourself. you may also resemble your mother more than your father.

🌞 sun in scorpio, 22° / 3rd decan ruled by pluto and the moon

you're quite of a loner, you prefer spending time alone rather than with others. you're extremely intuitive, and you can read people like a book; they can't lie or keep secrets from you, you'll surely find out. you're pretty charismatic, and paired with your wise intellect it's hard not to agree with your ideas, especially considering that your moon is in pisces. you're basically a leader, a very demanding one. you have high standards regarding everything: clothes, food, goals, people... you're always striving for the best, you don't want to settle down. on the other hand, even though it may take you a while to find someone worthy of your affection, once that someone shows up you'll stay with them forever. you're deeply loyal, and also caring in your own way. that's because you value feelings, you can easily smell when someone isn't trustworthy. you're probably very protective of your friends and loved ones in general, sometimes even too much. this could even escalate and become a more serious issue, as scorpio is also the planet of obsession, after all. it's common for you to feel your emotions x2, as they're too intense to handle. you know everything about others, but you don't show off and gossip about it. actually, you keep the info for yourself and use it when you need it.

scorpio sun conjunct scorpio mars: with this placement, you may be way more straight-forward. you are very impulsive and honest above all, you say things as they are. you're able to be very brave when you want to, and even if you do get emotionally hurt, you know how to stand up for yourself again. you strive to achieve your goals and make your dreams come true, you're an hard-worker. some may call you impatient, and you may actually be, but in reality you just can't wait for things to happen. for example, let's suppose you're going to the mall to buy the playstation you always wanted. you'd start only thinking and talking about that playstation until you actually get it in your hands. you get easily excited. also, this is another placement that indicates that is hard not to notice you. you have a very strong charisma that makes others stare. you strive to be the number #1 at whatever you do, you're a serious competitor and you'd do anything to win and achieve your goals.

🌙 moon in pisces, 6° / 1st decan ruled by neptune

hands down my favourite moon sign! you're extremely empathetic and sensitive, you care a lot about others and you treat others' problems as if they were yours, you get totally immersed in them. you have quite a vivid imagination, you're able to idealize and picture anything you want. while this placement gives you an incredible amount of creativity, it can also make you uncomfortable. in fact, you may actually find yourself imagining every detail of every situation, even the worst ones. let's suppose you hear of a rape at the news; you literally start imagining the scene detail by detail, and it makes you extremely uncomfortable. actually, it literally ruins your mood, as it's as if you actually lived that scene. going back to the creativity matter, you have the soul of an artist; you have very enhanced emotions, and you're able to express them through artistic outlets. you could be amazing at writing poetry, books, art, music... also, your particular empathy of human's intellect can also make you an amazing psychologist or actress, as you're able to understand others' feelings and make them your own. you're extremely spiritual, and if you don't feel like that, you just have yet to have your spiritual awakening. you may be able to talk to spirits, for example, or perhaps you have very meaningful dreams. or maybe, you could literally predict the future through them. you're also most probably an avid daydreamer, you tend to get distracted easily because you're too busy thinking about random scenarios in your head. seriously, you could even make a movie out of them. you're also an hopeless romantic, and you dream of finding not just your spouse, but your literal soulmate. to make it simple, you want all of your daydreams to become reality.

pisces moon square sagittarius mercury: your thoughts and feelings are constantly in contrast with each other. your sagittarius mercury desires freedom and social interactions, your pisces moon wants intimacy and privacy. this results in indecisiveness, you change your mind pretty often, and that can cause you conflicts due to communication problems. you're also pretty opinionated, you don't hide your feelings when you act by impulse, even though you may feel guilty about it: you are very sensitive, you want to treat people well, but you could be impulsive or sarcastic and hurt people. at least, the positive side of this placement is that you're probably very intellectual, capable of taking in consideration both the subjective and objective side of an argument.

pisces moon opposite virgo jupiter: you enjoy making different experiences and living your life to the fullest, making you also a risk-taker. you may lack self-control. with this trait you get bored easily, and you may have a reputation for being flaky. you tend to overindulge; you may spend too much money, or even develop eating disorders like binge-eating. at least, you're able to build your life again and have a fresh start, but you risk to get stuck in this cycle. you have the potential to master different talents, but you may struggle to develop them due to this placement. you're a procrastinator, and you find it hard to focus on more things at the same time. you may also attract people with different beliefs and ideas from you, causing you to fall out with them easily. there are also positive sides to this placement, though! you're probably naturally lucky, even though luck may not always be by your side. you have a nice sense of humor, making you more likeable to contrast your scorpio rising.

🗣 mercury in sagittarius, 14° / 2nd decan ruled by jupiter and mars

you say things impulsively, you're bluntly honest, and this could often hurt people around you. in addition, you like having the last word, despite being proven wrong sometimes. you have a knack for wisdom, you love being and looking smart. you're the type to spend the whole day reading and analyzing philosophical quotes and then make them your own, applying them to your life. you want to be and feel experienced, hence you may inform yourself about a variety of topics just for the sake of knowing them, perhaps you're not even that much interested in them. you could go from talking about politics to astrology, your mind is quite messy but still very full. you may possibly have a youthful voice, and sometimes you can speak in a loud volume without even realizing it. you may also exaggerate your words a lot, for example you might have got a single scratch on your cheek and call it a gash. you could possibly also be the type to joke over your own feelings, and then obviously get mad at others when they do the same with you.

sagittarius mercury square virgo jupiter: this placement emphasizes your intellect. your mind is so broad that you can come up with different theories and philosphies, making you a sort of genius. you're probably good at memorizing things, and you could even have a photographic memory. yet, with this aspect, you may have troubles being consistent with your ideas. you may overestimate your needs and thoughts; for example, you may promise yourself to get all As in maths, then you get tired and bored and you end up getting Cs. same goes for your handwriting, for example: you may start writing in the best way possible, then you get lazy and end up writing in a sloppy way just to take notes. you also overthink a lot, and that causes you self-esteem issues. on the other hand, you're very open-minded and objective, as you look at the big picture. you'd do very well as a journalist, for example, or perhaps also as a judge of any kind. you may also be naturally skilled at foreign languages, you can mimic accents pretty well. you're probably also very poetic and / or wise, you're like a teacher for your friends.

❤️ venus in libra, 6° / 1st decan ruled by venus

love this placement! you're very romantic, especially with your heavy pisces energy. you're not looking for a partner, you're looking for a whole disney prince(ss). you do care about looks when choosing a lover, but not necessarily a conventionally beautiful person. they have to appear perfect to your eyes, and this usually depends on the way they treat you. in fact, you despise vulgar, rude people. people that act like that immediately become unattractive to you. you're also very picky, exactly because you're looking for the perfect lover. you're probably the type to cry at movies. you're also quite of a cliche; you're into roses, romantic dinners, sunsets... anything romantic that you hear about in fairytales. the problem with this placement is that you may overestimate the people you frequent, ending up having different expectations from reality.

☄️ mars in scorpio, 20° / 3rd decan ruled by pluto and the moon

you’re an extremely goal-oriented person. you want to be the best at everything you do, not only to be better than others but also the best for yourself. you’re very astute, it’s impossible to trick you, and you always find a way to be in charge and get what you want. yet, you can get quite obsessed about your goals, that you could do extreme things to get what you want. in fact, people with this placement can even manipulate others, as they’re totally capable of doing that. in addition, your venus being in libra makes you extremely charming. people are naturally attracted to you, you have a way with words, and hence you’re always able to convince others into giving you what you want. but luckily, this doesn’t turn into manipulation, you probably don’t even realize this skill of yours, and hence you don’t use it to damage others. you are very persuasive, but you don't do it on purpose, you could actually be a little naive. when you get angry, you could actually get scary, though. your emotions are very intense, it’s hard to calm you down. mixed with your sagittarius mercury, you may be very sarcastic and aggressive with your words. you could hurt people, but you don’t do it on purpose. most of the time, you don’t even mean the things you say. you may also vent your anger with physical action, hence you could slam doors, punch or break things etc.

🏡 houses

your 1st house is in pisces. you are like a chameleon, you're able to detect others' vibe and act in a pleasant way for them, you probably get along with strangers easily. you're very sensitive, but also slightly insecure. in your first years, I assume you had troubles embracing your appearance. you may have felt ashamed of it, and you self-esteem was low. you may have amazing artistic talents and a large imagination. yet, you may often live too much in your imagination. with the moon sitting here, you're also very sensitive about other's feelings, you tend to absorb their energy and hence it's exhausting for you to socialize. you're also a very genuine person, you don't hide your feelings, you show it all on your face. the ruler of the 1st house is in the 11th house: people may see you as very friendly and original, maybe also mysterious. you may also seem very distracted, perhaps even a bit moody. you have a poweful vibe around you, and you may also have a sixth sense or acute intuition.

your 2nd house is in aries. aries is ruled by mars, the planet of action. placed in the house of money and self-esteem, you could make money easily and fast. you could find yourself receiving money from others quite often, or perhaps you're able to get jobs that allow you to earn a decent income. you may also react easily to diets, workouts, but also when you overeat. you may both gain and lose weight easily. possibly, you could speak very fast and / or loud and you may even suffer from hyperthyroidism. the ruler of the 2nd house is in the 6th house: your future career will allow you to earn a great amount of money. you could be quite wealthy already, or perhaps you'll get so wealthy that you'll gain a reputation for it. you may work with money, so for example as a notary, or even with food or aesthetics / arts. you may also make money from helping people, therefore you could work in the health field for example, or even with animals. you may even come from a wealthy family, or perhaps you're going to get an inheritance. you may possibly marry someone rich as well.

your 3rd house is in taurus. this placement makes you extremely good at making your ideas concrete. for example, if you have in your head the melody of a song, you don’t just hum to it, nor you daydream about how it may turn out. you actually write it down and play it, and it’s good for you to have such a placement with your heavy pisces energy. you can also gain money from these hobbies. the ruler of the 3rd house is in the 7th house: your job may involve communication, you'll most probably interact with other people in your future career. or maybe, you might write stuff, hence you could be a writer, a journalist, etc. possibly, you would do well as a therapist too. also, you could often have to do short trips to reach your college / work place, perhaps in a bus for example.

your 4th house is in gemini. you’ve always been a smart kid, that’s probably what your childhood revolved around. you most likely were a diligent student, and your parents took a lot of pride in your marks. you might have been really chatty with your friends, and maybe you used to get scolded because of that. your parents could have been a little strict with you, therefore you probably used to argue often, but nothing too serious. I don't see you having any kind of trauma from your home environment. the ruler of the 4th house is in the 10th house: you could find your career thanks to your family, or perhaps you're going to pursue the career you desired as a child. you may also work with your family, you may have a business with them, or at least you are going to find a job in your natal city/country. you may also meet your future spouse at work.

your 5th house is in cancer. when it comes to light romance, you mainly look for someone caring and affectionate who can help you to grow up and make new experiences. you’re attracted to hobbies that let you express your feelings and emotions. e.g, you may create very personal art or poetry. you may also prefer spending your spare time by yourself at home rather than going out with your friends. it's your way of relaxing and expressing your feelings, you may have hobbies that meet your emotional needs. you may have spiritual hobbies, that is meditation, yoga, tarots, astrology, religion, etc. you're also most likely an homebody, you don't like clubbing and going out, you prefer staying by yourself or with your loved ones.

your 6th house is in cancer. you may find yourself often having diseases around the stomach, breast area. your periods may be quite painful, too. this placement also indicates that there might be someone in your family that works in the health field, hence there could be a surgeon, a nurse, a therapist, a nutriotionist, a vet, etc. you may choose a career that allows you to work from home as well, or perhaps you may work with children, families or houses in general. going back to health, you may also struggle with mental health throughout your life. you may fall into depression for example, or you may suffer from an eating disorder. generally, you have a better physical health than mental.

your 7th house is in virgo, with also venus and jupiter placed there. when it comes to love you’re quite picky, and you want your future spouse to match your definition of perfection. hence, you may start losing interest in them as soon as they commit a mistake, even if it’s not serious. because of that, you may often experience break-ups, or even separation/divorce, even though I don't think it's your case; mercury is both well-aspected and well-placed, so I wouldn't worry if I were in you. you're definitely more romantic than the typical scorpio sun. as your pisces moon confirms, you need to feel tied to someone to function at your best. you want everybody to like you, you fear rejection and being humiliated. your reputation is very important for you, and that could lead you to be extremely insecure when others judge you negatively, you're easy to influence. you could fall in love easily, you may experience love at first sight often, therefore you may sometimes struggle to commit, but thanks to your pisces energy you're not a player. lastly, you could find yourself often thinking about your relationships with others, and also you try to be extremely kind with your words.

your 8th house is in libra, with also your mars and pluto conjunction there. you have a very balanced approach to matters like secrets and sex. for you it’s all about giving and receiving; for example, you may only open up to a friend when they also reveal their deepest secrets to you. you don’t want to feel below them, it’s a sort of mechanism to feel as if you have control of the situation. possibly, you may also experience a lot karma around your relationships. you could date people from your past lives for example, hence your soulmates. or perhaps, when you do something wrong in a relationship, it'll most likely come back to you. yet, these moments help you becoming more mature and transforming into the best version of yourself. at the same time, when someone hurts you they'll also have to learn a karmic lesson. as a scorpio mars, you may tend to hold a grudge, but you really don't have to wastw your energies like this. the universe will handle it for you.

your 9th house in scorpio, with also the sun sitting there. you literally gave all of yourself in school, even though you might have had some troubles. maybe there were a few bullies/mean girls that caused you troubles, or perhaps your parents influenced your studies too much and you ended up choosing something that you didn't like. yet, scorpio here indicates that school helped you transforming and growing up. you probably learnt a big lesson in school that helped you appreciating yourself more for who you are. overall, you went through major transformations during your school life, which helped you to find who you are today. maybe, you’ve changed class/school often, as you frequently changed your mind about the subjects you wanted to study. with the sh here, you’re an open-minded person who’s probably into history, literature/poetry, philosophy etc. you may also have a knack for studying different languages and travelling a lot, as they help you increase your creativity and hence your inner child. you are an extremely wise person, and you believe strongly in your beliefs. you rarely change your mind, but most of the time you’re an open-minded person. you love learning about anything, and you may also have a good memory. in fact, it’s common for you to be the one who explains things and possibly even leads a group, and this could unluckily make you seem as a know-it-all. you do take pride in your wisdom, indeed. your deep way of thinking is also where your desire for freedom comes from, as you wish to be able to expand yourself through travelling and new experiences. you may also be attracted to foreign things, such as foreign literature, fashion, art, music etc. it’s another way to travel and open your mind, without actually having to leave your house when you’re busy.

your 10th house is in sagittarius, with also your mercury placed there. you may gain a reputation for being very joyful and open-minded. you could possibly work abroad, speaking a different language. you may also have the chance to work in a school environment, and deal with people from any country or culture. you find pleasure and energy in work, it's your way to feel free and independent, even it you may work under a boss. it's also where you put most of all your energy, you're very goal-oriented and you strive to be the best at whatever you do. your future career will most likely feel very light to you; you could use your creativity to work, hence you could be a singer, a stylist, an artist, a writer... perhaps, you could even work with children in some way, maybe as a teacher since your mc is in sagittarius, or maybe you could work as a stylist as well. anything that allows you to interact with others would be suitable for you.

your 11th house is in capricorn, withalso neptune and uranus sitting there. you’re very picky with your friends, and you tend to be quite serious in friendships and social interactions. you may crack some jokes, but you take loyalty very seriously. at first, you may also find yourself not having many friends. you only started to get to know new people while growing up. the 11th house is also the house of goals, and you work hard to achieve them. you're very assertive from this point of view, you'd do anything to make your dreams come true. you love working in groups, especially if you're the leader. once someone becomes special to you, you'll do anything to protect them. you're an hardworking person who dreams big, you may be fond of manifesting and you hope to achieve all of your many goals.

your 12th house is in aquarius, with also your saturn placed here. there's an hidden rebel inside of you who has the desire to change the world. yet, you can't seem to free this part of yourself. you're a very spiritual person. you may have the natural talent to read tarots, birth charts... you may also have strange, prophetic dreams. in addition, you may feel uncomfortable diving into your feelings at first, you may tend to be a bit too rational and cold during your first years. you may keep your feelings for yourself, but growing up you'll learn that it's fine to show your true self to others as well, and you'll value your mental health more. you may often find the answers to fight your fears into spiritual outlets, such as astrology for example.

❤️ love life, soulmates

in love, you attract virgo, taurus, libra, sagittarius, capricorn and cancer. your future spouse will most probably have capricorn and virgo placements. they could be quite self-centered at first, they'll have an exceptional charisma and they will care a lot about their reputation. yet, there's an hidden side to them that is quite insecure and unstable, that wants to find someone to trust. basically, you'll see eye to eye on a lot of matters. you could meet in a fun situation; it could be at a party, for example, or any kind of social gathering. maybe, you may even meet them online. they are most likely from abroad, and they could be a good friend of yours as well.

👶🏻 family life

your mother is a very intelligent person, she's probably very talkative and witty, and she also has a nice sense of humor, even though she could be a bit immature or self-centered at times. she most likely has gemini or sagittarius placements in her chart, together with pisces and / or virgo. your father is also very funny and sociable, he's probably quite extroverted even though he might be more strict than your mother. he’s probably interested in foreign languages/culture. he may be an aquarius, a sagittarius, a gemini or libra. if you have siblings, they probably have taurus, libra, or earth placements. probably, you have an amazing relationship with them, you hardly argue and you're all very mature.

📊 career

as I've already mentioned above, you're going to pursue a career that will allow you to interact with others. you would probably do amazing at a job that requires you to help people, you could make a great nurse, therapist or psychologist for instance, you're going to be a very nurturing figure for others. you may also work as a teacher of any kind, not necessarily a professor or school teacher. I definitely see you being successful in whatever you choose, you could become very independent and financially stable thanks to your job. possibly, you may also have a business with your future spouse or family. you could also work with children or for family, as a counselor for example. anything that allows you to interact with and help others would be great for you, as it would make you more empathetic and sensitive to the external world.

👕 fashion sense, style analysis

you’re very traditional about your clothes, maybe even basic. you’re the type to have lots of essential clothes in your wardrobe, e.g a white shirt, white t-shirt, jeans etc. you love wearing sophisticated, elegant fits. for example, you may be fond of wide leg jeans, or maybe flare trousers, boatneck sweaters, tiny jewellery… things like that, that are always a must have. you may fancy pastel colors, or even neutral shades like black, white, grey, beige etc. you’re also the type to follow fashion trends.

👁 past life, life purpose

in your past life time, you didn’t have a specific priority. you just enjoyed wandering with your mind and creativity, allowing yourself to relax with your friends. you used to depend on someone else, not really on yourself. this lifetime, you need to establish your independence AND solid boundaries, not just those you used to daydream about. don’t be afraid to let your inner child out; go to amusement parks, binge-watch netflix, date your crushes, have an hobby, play videogames… you could also play with actual children. anything that brings fun out of you, and that puts a genuine smile on your face. yet, don’t forget that this lifetime of yours revolves around accomplishing your goals.

🤔 major transits analysis / july 17th

transit moon is currently conjunct your libra venus in the 7th house, while transit pisces jupiter is also making a conjunction to your ascendant and moon. you may be feeling very positive and energetic in these days! you are more optimistic than usual, you could be feeling well both physically and mentally. you may feel more sociable, you want to spend time with others or at least with your closed friends. yet, be careful not to be too impulsive, don't spend too much money to cope with your problems. focus on nurturing your feelings and relationships, it's the perfect time to do that.

🧿 manifest what you want, secret skills

with your water placements, you probably have a 6th sense. you’re able to manifest what you want if you subconsciously predict it, even though it may be hard. you’d have to get in touch with your higher self to do so, and hence I would suggest you to light up some candles and meditate for a bit before manifesting, in this way it will be way more effective. you may manifest something while daydreaming, for example. or perhaps, you can also try listening to your own affirmations while you sleep, as you won’t be consciously aware of that. it’s probably the most effective way.

and this is it! thank you again for booking a reading :) hope it resonated with you!

-libramc xx

#astrology