#seriously i lov all these songs so much

[alwaysmicado]

Sink or swim

12.3k | fwb!Joel Miller x f!reader | pt. 8

WARNINGS: 18+, no outbreak AU, implied age gap, emotional hurt/comfort, flashbacks (toxic relationship, bad mental health), mention of miscarriage & surgery, smut (nothing too graphic), Tommy Miller x f!reader SUMMARY: You reminisce about the late-night conversation that changed your life forever. Joel shares a secret. A/N: Guys, it’s finally here!! This part was hard for me to write, but I’m beyond happy with how it turned out. We learn so much about reader’s past and her relationship with Tommy, and I can’t tell you how excited I am to share it with you. Have fun reading (even though it’s a bit sad) and please let me know what you think! I wanna know all your thoughts!! 🤍 Dividers by the wonderful @saradika-graphics.

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The ocean stretches before you like a vast expanse of liquid silk, its rhythmic waves kissing the shore with a gentle insistence. The sun, now in its descent towards the horizon, casts a warm glow, painting the water and sand in hues of amber and gold.

You’re perched on a weathered bench, sneakers softly tapping against the sand, lost in thought as you watch the waves roll in.

Dressed in yoga shorts and an oversized t-shirt, with an ice cream cone in hand and sunglasses shielding your eyes from the brilliant rays of the setting sun, you blend seamlessly into the serene scene before you.

You appear inconspicuous, just another person soaking up the sun and breathing in the fresh air. No one can see the anguish gnawing at your heart, the tumult in your head, or the pain in your hand that makes you want to scream.

No, no, you look far too calm for that, too composed, too happy.

Besides, what would someone like you possibly have to feel bad about? Seriously. You just love to wallow in your own sadness, don’t you? You haven’t changed at all. You’re still your insecure, annoying, unlovable self. God, even your inner voice is irritating. Do you hear how pathetic you sound? Of course he wouldn’t lov–

Shut up. 

You focus on the waves as they dance and sway, their melodic rhythm a soothing balm to the cruel thoughts echoing relentlessly in your mind.

The ocean’s song, a symphony of calming whispers and gentle sighs you’ve loved ever since you were a little girl, envelops you in its embrace, drawing you deeper into a state of quiet reflection. The cool breeze dancing through the air brushes against your sun-kissed skin, carrying with it the salty scent of the ocean and the promise of new beginnings. 

With a gentle tilt of your head, you take another lick of the strawberry soft serve you bought at the ice cream stand near the boardwalk, feeling the familiar comfort of the cool creaminess dance across your taste buds. It’s been a few months since you last indulged in this particular treat, sharing it with Joel after a rough day at work.

As the cold sweetness melts on your tongue, bittersweet memories of that afternoon flood back with vivid clarity. You can almost hear Joel’s infectious laughter as you scarfed down the icy treat a little too eagerly, his eyes crinkling with amusement at your inevitable brain freeze. But it wasn’t just the shared laughter and playful banter that made this memory so special. 

It was Joel’s genuine interest in hearing about your day, about you, his calming presence grounding you and making you momentarily forget all your troubles. He provided you with a warmth that seeped into your bones, a connection that felt effortless yet profound. Like it could be more.

Reflecting on it now, perhaps that should have been a hint that things were more serious than you wanted to admit right from the beginning. Oh well, dwelling on it is futile now. Because you did finally admit it, didn’t you? And not only that, you basically shouted your feelings from the rooftops last night, laying your soul bare.

Fucking embarrassing.

How are you supposed to come back from that? How are you supposed to ever look into Joel’s eyes again? 

There’s a reason why you stopped psychotherapy after a few months, there’s a reason why you don’t have any close friends beside Tommy, there’s a reason why your dating life has consisted of a series of superficial hookups over the past couple of years.

“Fear of intimacy,” your therapist called it. “A response to sustained trauma.”

You walked out of that session and, fueled by defiance, decided to fuck the first guy who caught your eye, just to prove to yourself, and to your therapist, that you were very well capable of intimacy.

Lying in bed that night, lonely and empty, you couldn’t shake the truth of her words. You hated her guts for forcing you to confront your inner demons, but she did have a point in everything she said.

It’s an uncomfortable truth.

There’s nothing in the world you fear more than people knowing what’s going on inside your head, knowing what you feel, knowing your vulnerabilities and weaknesses—knowing the real you.

And last night, that fear came true.

Your innermost thoughts and feelings were on display for Joel to see, leaving you exposed and raw. The memory of your outburst, of his shocked face, weighs heavily on your mind and heart, filling you with a deep sense of shame and regret.

For a moment in that bathroom, you felt yourself transported back to all the times you’d scream at Simon for whatever he did to fuck with your feelings that day, just for him to laugh in your face or call you manipulative when you’d inevitably start crying tears of hurt and frustration. 

Does Joel see you differently now, knowing the depths of your insecurities? Will he even want to look you in the eye after witnessing what the real you is like? Have you lost your chance with him, and, did you ever even have one?

You sigh deeply and lick around the top of the ice cream cone to catch the drops threatening to run down, humming at the deliciousness.

You haven’t eaten anything else today, too nauseous from your meds and the knot in the pit of your stomach to find food appetizing. You haven’t slept for more than two consecutive hours, too agitated to find any real peace. You also couldn’t stay home this morning, as your apartment suddenly felt like a cage threatening to suffocate you.

Instead, you’ve spent your day off window shopping, aimlessly wandering from one coffee shop to another, your hands now jittery from too much caffeine on an empty stomach. You’ve ambled down the boardwalk, taking in the sights and sounds surrounding you, before finding yourself drawn to the familiar comfort of the ocean.

From the corner of your eye, you catch the display on your phone lighting up with Joel’s name, the device resting on the bench beside you alongside your bag.

You know you’ll have to take his calls and talk to him like an adult at some point. And you will. But this moment, this moment right here, belongs to you and your thoughts alone.

And to the hermit crab making its way through the sand just a few feet away from you. Your lips curl into a smile as you watch the determined little creature, impressed by its resilience in such an unforgiving world. Maybe you would’ve been happier if you’d been born as a hermit crab. Who knows.

As you swallow the last bit of your cone and lean back, feeling the sun’s gentle warmth on your skin, you can’t help but think of the first time you found yourself on this bench, watching the sunset. It feels like that was an entire lifetime ago, and yet, you vividly remember the overwhelming exhaustion that weighed you down, the sense of loneliness that engulfed you—how utterly lost you felt.

You allow your thoughts to drift, captivated by the soothing cadence of the waves lapping against the shore.

Three years earlier

The sun is down.

Staring into the void, you’re consumed by solitude, the cool breeze coming from the water a thin barrier against the weight pressing on your shoulders. The world seems distant, the murmur of the ocean a mere backdrop to the thoughts swirling in your troubled mind and the beat of your empty heart.

This is it. This is where you were always supposed to be.

You take a deep breath and close your eyes, quietly drifting through the corners of your memory. With each passing moment, you meticulously comb through the fragments of the past few months. They offer no solace, only a stark reminder of how you reached this point.

In the stillness of the evening, you find a strange sense of calm, a numbness that dulls the edges of your emotions. Tears refuse to come, leaving only the echo of relief at the resolution of it all.

You open your eyes again, fixating on the endless mirror of the sky before you. The ocean has always held a special place in your heart. The salty tang in the air, the rhythmic melody of the waves, the laughter of birds mingling with the gentle lull of the breeze—everything.

You dig your naked toes into the sand, relishing the connection to the earth beneath you. The sensation is grounding, peaceful, almost–

“Hey there, sweetheart. Is everything okay?”

A man’s voice, rugged yet gentle, breaks through the silence, interrupting your thoughts. His words dance in the air, pulling you reluctantly back to the present.

Are you kidding me?

With a slow and deliberate movement, you lift your gaze from the horizon, meeting the eyes of the stranger who has disrupted the sanctuary of your thoughts. You rest your elbows on your knees and sigh deeply.

“Oh my fucking god,” you murmur, rubbing your temples in annoyance and disbelief. “The sun’s been down for two minutes, and the first creep’s already here.”

“Wha–” 

You look up at him. “Do you have like a radar or something where you get a notification every time a woman sits alone on a bench somewhere?”

The dark-haired man blinks in surprise, his expression caught between confusion and amusement. His brow furrows, his mouth slightly agape as he processes your words. After a moment of absorbing your outlandish accusation, his lips curve into a wry smile.

“Darlin’, I’m just–”

“Look, dude. If you’re here to murder me, could you at least spare me the whole blah blah you’ve got planned and just do it? Thank you.”

You look at him with a raised eyebrow, his eyes crinkling at the corners. He’s not entirely sure if you’re joking, but your sarcastic tone tells him you’re at least not scared of him.

He chuckles softly, shaking his head. “I assure you I got no such plans. Just thought I’d check in on a fellow soul contemplating the mysteries of the universe.”

You roll your eyes, unimpressed by his attempt at humor. “Yeah, well, I prefer to contemplate in peace.”

When he doesn’t budge and just…stares at you with those big, dark eyes of his, you take a moment to size him up. 

Your gaze drifts down from his eyes, tracing the contours of his muscular chest visible beneath a fitted white t-shirt. It lingers briefly on the obnoxiously large belt buckle adorning his waist, then travels down the length of his denim-clad legs to his cowboy boots. Despite the surreal encounter, you can’t help but notice how incredibly attractive he is. 

God, what’s wrong with you?

“Look, sweetheart,” he says calmly, his voice a blend of warmth and reassurance. “I’m not trying to get into your business or anything, but it’s gonna get pretty chilly out here soon.” He tilts his head and studies your face. “Do you have somewhere to stay?” he asks. “We could go grab a bite to eat if you want, and my place is right arou–”

“How subtle,” you scoff, crossing your arms in front of your chest. “I’m not going home with you, dude.”

“Fair enough, but at least let me call you a cab and wait with you until it arrives, hm?”

His soft voice and patronizing tone are starting to grate on your already frayed nerves. You’ve been sitting here, not taking up any space, minding your own fucking business, and even that wasn’t good enough, apparently.

Okay, world. Hint taken. 

“What the hell is your problem?” you blurt out. 

“What do you mean? I’m just–I’m trying to help you.”

“Why?” The question bursts from your lips like a dam breaking under pressure, laced with frustration. “Do you see me holding up a sign where I’m asking for your help? Huh? Or is this more about you and some, I dunno, bullshit white knight fantasy you’re acting out?” 

Your eyes narrow, fixing on him with a challenging glare, daring him to justify his intrusion into your solitude.

“No,” he responds calmly, his furrowed brow adding gravity to his words. “It’s because I’ve seen enough shit in my life to recognize when someone’s in need.”

The sincerity in his gaze catches you off guard, rendering you momentarily speechless. It’s as if this…stranger is peering into the depths of your soul, seeing past the walls you’ve erected to protect yourself. 

His face softens, the lines around his eyes relaxing as he meets yours. “Mind if I take a seat?”

You shrug indifferently, though a flicker of curiosity dances behind your eyes. “Suit yourself.”

He smiles warmly as he settles beside you. “I’m Tommy, by the way,” he offers, extending a hand. You hesitate for a moment, but eventually, you decide to reciprocate by telling him your name and shaking his hand with a soft sigh.

As his hand envelops yours, there’s a brief surge of something unspoken deep inside you, a connection allowing two disparate souls to briefly intertwine before returning to their separate paths again as soon as he lets go.

“Well, it’s very nice to meet you, darlin’,” he says with a twinkle in his eye, his mustache curling slightly as he smiles at you.

The faint scent of his cologne drifts towards you, mixing with the salty aroma of the sea air. As you gaze at him, your eyes trace the lines etched around his eyes and mouth, evidence of a life fully lived. Strangely, there’s something comforting about his presence, something that makes you feel a little less alone. 

You give him a subtle smile before turning your head back towards the ocean, mesmerized by the rhythmic crashing of the waves against the shore.

Out of the corner of his eye, Tommy watches you silently, noticing the vacant look in your eyes and the way your gaze seems to be fixed on some distant point beyond the horizon. He furrows his brow slightly, a flicker of concern crossing his features as he contemplates how lost you appear in that moment.

“What are you doing out here, sweetheart?” Tommy’s voice breaks the silence, his tone casual yet curious, as if striking up conversations with strange women on the beach is a regular occurrence for him.

Well, it probably is, you think to yourself.

“I, uh, wanted to watch the sunset,” you answer softly.

“Hm. It’s amazing, isn’t it? Should’ve been here and seen it too instead of wasting my time at that damn bar.”

“Oh? How did you waste your time? Can’t have been that bad, judging by the lipstick stains on your face,” you murmur.

“What? Where?” Tommy blurts out, his eyes widening in surprise as he hastily rubs at his lips and cheeks, searching for any traces of lipstick on his fingers.

You stifle a laugh. “I’m just fucking with you,” you deadpan, shooting him a quick glance. 

He stares at you in mock offense for a moment before his lips curl into a wide grin. “Touché,” he says, thoroughly entertained by your dry humor. “But yeah, things didn’t go the way I would’ve liked them to.” 

“What, she didn’t wanna go home with you either?”

“Very funny. But no, things were going well.” He sighs dramatically and rubs his forehead. “But then her husband showed up and kinda threw a giant monkey wrench into our plans.” 

“Wow, tough break,” you scoff, shaking your head in mock sympathy, “not getting to fuck a married woman. I hate it when that happens.”

Tommy chuckles. “Alright, alright, I didn’t know she was married, for the record. She wasn’t wearing a ring or anything.”

“Sure,” you say, your tone dripping with sarcasm as you cast a skeptical glance in his direction.

“What are you up to, then, darlin’? Hm?” he asks with a raised eyebrow.

“Besides not making out with married women?” You hear Tommy’s laugh beside you and wiggle your toes in the sand. “Just enjoying the ocean, I guess. I’ve missed it.” 

“You’re not from here?”

You shake your head. “No, I’m not.”

“Hm. You’re gonna love it. There’s lots of cool things to see and do, especially for young people like you.”

You furrow your brow. “Why are you talking like you’re ninety years old and I’m your estranged grandkid?”

“I dunno,” he sighs, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “I guess…turning forty did something to me.”

“Married women apparently still throw themselves at you. You’re gonna be fine.”

He chuckles, a deep, resonant sound that seems to echo across the beach. “Yeah, I guess you’re right about that.”

You’re both quiet for a moment, punctuated by the gentle sound of the ocean and the occasional cry of seagulls wheeling overhead. 

“What brings you here, then?” Tommy asks, observing your profile. You look tired.

“I told you, watching the sunset.” 

“No, I mean what brings you into town? Vacation or family or something?”

You turn to look at him, tilting your head slightly as you study his expression. “Why do you care?”

“Just making conversation,” he says with a smile, a glint of genuine curiosity shining in his eyes. “You don’t have to tell me. We can talk about something else if you want.”

“Like what?”

“Like did you know it’s illegal to own just one guinea pig in Switzerland?”

Your bewildered look amuses him. 

“It’s true. You’re required, by law, to get your guinea pig a little guinea pig friend. They won’t sell you just one. Isn’t that the cutest thing you’ve ever heard?”

You stare at him, shaking your head slowly. “What kind of women do you pull if this is how you flirt?”

Tommy raises an eyebrow. “Who says I’m flirting?”

“Uh-huh,” you say with a smirk, then turn your head back towards the water. “But what if they want to be alone?”

“Hm?”

“What if you get a guinea pig in Switzerland and you have to buy a second one to keep it company but the first guinea pig actually just wants to be alone on a bench and then some other guinea pig with a mustache shows up and asks weird questions? What then?”

“Well,” Tommy starts, happy that you’re seemingly warming up a bit. “I think the first guinea pig would quickly realize that the other, dashingly handsome guinea pig isn’t that bad and just wants to be friends. And then they’d be friends and run around together and eat hay or whatever.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, and you know, I think us humans aren’t that different from them. I don’t think we’re meant to be alone either.”

You look at him. “Is that why you came to talk to me? Because you don’t want me to be alone?”

“Would that be so bad?”

“I guess not,” you murmur softly, your gaze drifting to the patch of dry skin on the back of your right hand. “And I’m, uh, not here for any special reason. I just…needed a break from home, I suppose.”

“And you have a place to stay, darlin’?” Tommy’s voice carries a gentle concern as he leans slightly closer, trying to see your eyes. 

“Yeah, I booked a hotel room a few minutes from here,” you lie smoothly. “With sea-view and everything. Just haven’t checked in yet.”

“Where did you put all your stuff?” 

“My stuff?”

“Yeah, your clothes and teddy bears and whatnot.” 

You nudge the backpack sitting on the ground next to you with your naked foot. “This is my stuff.”

“Oh.” You must have really wanted to get away if you traveled this lightly, Tommy contemplates silently.

He used to do the same, packing a bag and escaping, seeking solace in the open road. But he learned the hard way that you can’t outrun your problems. They always find a way to catch up with you, no matter how far you go.

He gives you a sympathetic smile. “Have you had dinner already?”

“I had a bagel at the airport this morning,” you say nonchalantly.

Tommy’s brows furrow slightly, his eyes widening in disbelief. “Are you serious?”

“Yup.” If you had even the slightest bit of energy left inside of you, you’d find his shocked face amusing.

“Okay, that’s just unacceptable. Wait.” He retrieves his phone from his pocket and opens a food delivery app. “What kind of pizza do you want?”

You shake your head. “I don’t want pi–”

“Yes, you do. I’m not gonna have you starving on my watch.”

You raise an eyebrow. “On your watch?” 

“Yeah, on my watch. Now, what kind of topping–”

“Pineapple.”

“Excuse me?”

“Pine. Apple.”

“Oh, but I’m the weirdo,” he mutters, shaking his head and giving you the side-eye as he reluctantly adds pineapple as a topping to your pizza. “Anything else? Anchovies? Corn? My tears?”

“Jesus, don’t have a heart attack. Are you Italian or something?”

“No, just not a complete monster.”

You can’t help but chuckle, your smile lighting up your face for the first time in what feels like ages. Tommy’s eyes linger on you a moment too long, captivated by your sudden radiance, before he tears his gaze away as your smile fades once more.

Clearing his throat, he shifts his attention back to his task, fingers tapping away as he types the description of your location for the delivery.

“Should arrive in twenty minutes, the app says.” 

You nod and lean back, fiddling with the hem of your shirt as you watch the waves again. 

“When did you decide to fly out here?”

“Last night.” 

“How? Why?”

“Simple. I took out a map, closed my eyes, and this is where my finger landed. And as for the why…well, home just didn’t feel like home anymore, you know?”

“Hm. I know that feeling.”

You turn your head and look into his warm eyes. “You do?”

“Oh yeah. It took me almost a decade after retiring from active duty to feel home again, or like I was safe, or like I belonged. It’s, uh, not easy to get that feeling back once you’ve lost it. I’m sorry you’re going through that,” Tommy says with a somber tone. He really is sorry. 

You look at him for a moment and give him a tired smile. “It’s okay,” you say with a shrug of your shoulders. “It wasn’t home to begin with. Not really.”

“Whatever your reasons are, you’re brave for leaving.”

You scoff. “Yeah, sure, I’m brave for running away.”

“Sweetheart…”

“Look, it’s okay. You don’t need to try and make me feel better ‘cause I’m not sad. But I’m also not gonna act like I’m not a coward who accepted far too much shit for far too long ‘cause I’m very much not brave.”

You sigh deeply. “I should’ve gotten the fuck out of that miserable town and relationship years ago. But now it’s too late.” 

Tommy furrows his brow and opens his mouth to say something, but you cut him off.

“Are you married?”

“No, darlin’, I’m not married.”

“Girlfriend?”

“No girlfriend.” 

“So there’s no one special in your life right now?”

“Nothing serious, no. No attachments for me.”

“Hm. No attachments,” you murmur. “That sounds nice.” 

Tommy nods. “It is, most of the time at least. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss being in love.” 

“You’ve been in love before?” You tilt your head and look at him with genuine curiosity. 

“A few times, yeah.”

“And the women you were with…they loved you?”

“Yeah, they did.” The soft smile lighting up his face tells you he has pleasant memories of his former partners. How nice that must be. 

“Do you ever wonder why it didn’t work out?”

Tommy’s expression turns introspective, his gaze drifting towards the horizon as if searching for answers in the distant waves.

“I have,” he admits after a pause, his voice carrying a hint of wistfulness. “But I guess that’s just how life goes sometimes. People drift apart, circumstances change, life changes...”

“Do you think it’s possible to hate someone you love?”

Your question catches him off guard, and the look in your eyes concerns him. “Well,” he says calmly, carefully choosing his words, “I can’t say I’ve ever had that experience, but I could imagine that’s how my brother felt about me back when I was spiraling and he had to watch me make bad decision after bad decision. He loved me, I know he always has, but he also hated me for what I was doing.” 

“Sounds like a good brother,” you say, mustering a smile. 

“He really is. Do you have any siblings?”

“Yeah, but I don’t talk to them,” you say, your tone betraying a hint of sadness before you quickly mask it with indifference. “My, uh…best friend was like my sister though.”

“Was?”

“Yeah, you know,” you murmur, the smile on your lips not matching the bitterness in your tone, “that friendship kinda ended after I saw her sitting on my boyfriend’s lap, shoving her tongue down his throat.”

“What the hell? When was that?” 

“Hmm, about a month ago. And you wanna know the real kicker? They’ve been fucking for like half a year. My best friend and my boyfriend. Laughing their asses off behind my back. Hilarious, isn’t it?”

“I’m so sorry, darlin’. They’re shitty people for doing that to you. You didn’t deserve any–”

“How do you know that?”

“Know what?”

“How do you know that I didn’t deserve it? You don’t know me, you don’t know anything about me.”

“I may not know you,” Tommy says gently, “but I know that no one deserves to be treated like that, especially by the people they trust. It’s hard sometimes to see things objectively because we’re our own worst enemies, but I’m telling you, you didn’t deserve that.” 

“I’m not sure that’s true.” 

“What makes you say that?”

You look into his eyes, and the pain he can see in yours breaks his heart.

“Because, I fucking loved it. Everything he did to me, all these years. I loved it. I could’ve left him after he cheated on me for the first time, the second time, the hundredth time, but no. I loved how he came crawling back to me time and time again, promising me the world, telling me he only loved me.”

You pull away, hands resting on his chest as you try to find your words. Simon’s intense gaze has your mind swirling with conflicting emotions, and your heart pounding in your chest. “I can’t do this anymore,” you whisper, your body trembling as he presses you against the wall with his body. “You–you say you’ll change, you say you’ll never do it again, you say you regret hurting me. And I forgive you. Every time. But nothing ever changes. You do it again and again, not caring how much you hurt me.” He places a hand on the wall next to your head, pushing your shirt up around your waist with the other, his touch on your naked skin sending a shiver down your spine. He looks down at you with a hint of amusement, a devious smirk appearing on his face as he searches your pleading eyes. “I’m serious, Simon,” you insist, unsuccessfully trying to convince yourself of what you’re saying. “I’m done.” Leaning in, he traces your neck with his nose, your heavy breathing and the way your tits press against his chest making his cock twitch in his jeans. “Is that so?” he murmurs against your skin before softly sucking and kissing on your flesh. “Why are you doing this?” you breathe, instinctively wrapping your arms around him, your fingers gripping his shoulders as you draw him closer. His leg between yours presses against your core, and you can’t help but whimper desperately at the feeling. “I love you,” he whispers, his warm breath gently caressing the curve of your ear, his words piercing your heart like a poisonous dart. “No, you don’t,” you murmur, your voice heavy with sadness, your eyes betraying the turmoil raging within you. Despite the ache in your heart, a part of you still yearns for the comfort of his touch, the familiarity of his presence, the illusion of affection he gives you. You need him, need to feel him, need him to love you—even if it kills you. In this moment of vulnerability, you surrender to the torrent of emotions flooding your senses, pressing your lips against his in a desperate attempt to drown out the pain, to silence the screams that plague your mind—eagerly drinking his poison straight from the source. Tangling your fingers in his hair, you pull him closer, offering yourself up to him with each rough tug, fervent kiss, and harsh bite to his lips. He matches your energy, gripping the back of your neck with a bruising hold as he hastily opens his jeans to free his cock. “I hate you,” you choke out, the words laced with bitterness and the raw intensity of your need for him as your heart races and your vision blurs. “Whatever you gotta tell yourself, baby,” Simon murmurs with a smirk, his words a cruel reminder of the tangled web of emotions that binds you to him, even as you struggle to break free. With a deft movement, he pulls aside your panties, sliding his hard cock through your wet folds as he holds your leg up around his waist. “Oh fuck,” you moan as he pushes inside you in one harsh thrust, your fingernails reflexively digging into his scalp. Overwhelming pleasure mingles with the anguish of your body betraying you, even as your mind screams in protest. Your walls clench around Simon with fierce intensity, his repeated thrusts against your G-spot having you close to orgasm within a minute. “Tell me, baby,” he pants, his eyes gleaming with triumph and satisfaction as he watches in real time how his poison travels through your entire body, your mind, intoxicating your very being with his essence. “Tell me how much you hate me while you come on my cock.”

You tilt your head and give Tommy a tired smile. “Isn’t that the most pathetic thing you’ve ever heard?” 

“No, sweetheart, you’re not pathetic for wanting to be loved. You’re human and our feelings can be…complicated, irrational, dangerous. But you got yourself away from a toxic situation despite your feelings and that takes a lot of strength.”

“Hm.” You draw shapes into the sand with your toes, your heart heavy in your chest.

“Is he…why you left? You had to get away from him?”

“Surprisingly, no,” you say pensively, lost in thought as you fold one leg beneath you on the bench. “Things weren’t that bad after I decided not to care anymore. You know you can just wake up one day and realize it hurts a lot less to just not care about anything? Amazing. So yeah, that’s what I did.” You shrug and rub your left thumb with your right one.

“Of course, he didn’t like that at all, not being able to emotionally drain me anymore. He even told me I was depressed or some shit, acting like he cared, when all he actually missed was me giving him the reactions he wanted,” you scoff, bitterness dripping from your lips. “Coincidentally, that’s when he and my best friend started fucking.”

“I’m so sorry, darlin’, that’s beyond fucked up. Do you, uh, have someone to talk to about all this?”

You raise an eyebrow. “You mean apart from handsome cowboys in too-tight jeans late at night?”

“Did you just call me handsome?”

“Don’t think so,” you give him a playful smile, then turn your head to watch the waves doing their mesmerizing dance. Despite the light-hearted banter, a hint of sadness flickers across your face. “But no, I don’t have anyone left.”

Tommy’s expression softens, his eyes reflecting a mix of empathy and concern as he listens to your words. He reaches out, but catches himself before his hand comes to rest on your shoulder.

“Why did you leave?” he asks gently.

“I saw her.”

“Who?”

“Laura. My best friend,” you say, shuddering at her name. “I came out of the hospital yesterday, stood at a red light, and then I saw her. Looking right at me from the other side of the street. We hadn’t talked since before I almost died a month ago, ‘cause she never bothered to answer any of my calls or texts…and there she was. Daring to look at me with those fake-ass tears in her eyes like she isn’t a fucking sociopath.”

“What did you do?”

“I just…looked at her, knowing I could never see her again. I walked away, went to mine and Simon’s apartment, grabbed a few things, and went to the airport.”

“And now you’re here.”

“And now I’m here.”

The weight of your experience hangs heavy in the air, casting a somber shadow over the conversation. Tommy nods thoughtfully as he absorbs your words, until he suddenly shakes his head, chastising himself for his own stupidity.

“Okay wait, I’m sorry, but did you just say you almost died? What the hell happened?”

“Oh,” you scoff, a wide smile spreading across your face, its brightness contrasting sharply with the dullness in your eyes, “it’s nothing. One of my fallopian tubes burst ‘cause my dumbass gynecologist failed to diagnose an ectopic pregnancy, so I was hemorrhaging and had to have emergency surgery to get it removed.”

Tommy’s reaction is visceral: his eyes widen in shock, and his mouth falls open slightly, a silent gasp escaping him as the gravity of your words, spoken with horrifying casualness, hits him like a punch to the gut.

“Jesus Christ, darlin’...”

“But hey, the doctor said I’m completely fine at the check-up yesterday, so I guess that’s what I am.” You shrug and smile at him, but your attempt to lighten the mood falls flat.

“Darlin’, I’m so sor–”

“Don’t, please. It’s okay,” you interrupt softly, shaking your head. “My ex told me to have an abortion when I told him I was pregnant, and I wouldn’t have been a good mom anyway, so it’s best for the baby that it wasn’t born into the shitshow that is my life.”

“Dar–”

“I swear to God, Tommy, if you say ‘darlin’’ in that stupid, sexy accent of yours one more time,” you cut him off with a playful glare. 

He smiles at you, though worry lingers in his eyes and tugs at his heart.

“I’ve always wanted to live near the ocean,” you muse, welcoming the breeze cooling your hot face down. “It’s kind of poetic that my journey ends here.”

“It really is beautiful here, I’m sure you’d love livi–” Tommy starts, but you’re not hearing him.

“You know, I have this recurring dream where I drown, but instead of feeling panicked or scared I just feel peaceful, light. Like the weight of the world is lifted off my shoulders. I don’t thrash or struggle, I just…let the water take me under and I can finally breathe.”

Concern flashes in Tommy’s eyes, but he quickly masks it with a calm expression, not wanting to alarm you.

“That sounds intense,” he responds gently, choosing his words carefully. “Dreams can be strange sometimes, but that one sounds like it’s trying to tell you something. Maybe it’s your mind’s way of processing all the heavy things that’ve been weighing on you."

He shifts slightly closer to you, his tone soft and reassuring. “But you know, maybe it’s worth exploring with a therapist or someone who can help you unpack it. Sometimes talking about these things can bring some clarity and relief.”

“Yeah, maybe,” you say absentmindedly. 

“Darlin’, please look at me,” Tommy’s voice breaks through the haze of your thoughts, his gaze penetrating through the fog of your mind. If you had any tears left to cry, the sincerity in his eyes would surely coax them out right about now. 

“About what you said earlier…you–you don’t deserve people treating you badly, or any of the bad things that happen to you. You never did, you hear me? You were supposed to be loved, protected and cared for, but you weren’t, and that’s not fair, and most certainly not your fault.”

You tilt your head, studying his face intently. Why does he care? Why couldn’t he just leave you alone? But hey, he’s trying to be nice, and it’s not like you’re ever going to see him again. So, you’re trying to be nice back. 

“Thanks,” you say softly, mustering a smile. “But enough about me and my dumpster fire of a life.” You shift in your seat, untucking your leg and stretching it out in front of you. 

“I’d rather hear about you and how you get your hair to be this healthy. I can never get mine to look that good. Do you think it’s because I just eat garbage, don’t drink enough water and don’t get enough sunlight?”

Tommy chuckles and nods understandingly, recognizing your attempt to shift gears, and decides to play along until you both hear the pizza guy calling for you.

Your insistence to pay for your own pizza and drink falls on deaf ears, so you begrudgingly accept Tommy’s invitation and thank him for ordering food. Surprisingly, you find yourself ravenously hungry after taking the first few bites of your pineapple pizza—that you originally only wanted to mess with Tommy. But even he has to admit it isn’t half bad after you make him eat a slice.

As you’re eating together and the night deepens around you, the street lamps along the boardwalk spending enough light, you ask Tommy about his life. 

He shares his journey of enlisting in the army as a teenager, grappling with PTSD upon his return, and navigating through troubled times. He tells you about the unwavering support of his brother and how therapy helped him cope with his demons. You delve deeper, asking him about his wishes for the future, about his hopes and dreams.

You enjoy hearing about his life, about his experiences that are so different from yours. It’s comforting to get lost in someone else’s story for a bit. It’s a refuge, a welcome escape from your own tiring existence. 

Pizzas devoured, you sit side by side, enveloped in the soothing melody of the ocean’s whispers. Time seems to lose its grip as you share both laughter and quiet, the minutes and hours slipping away unnoticed like grains of sand carried by the tide.

As tranquility settles between you, the world around you seemingly forgotten, a question gnaws at your insides, its weight palpable in the silence. It’s a question you’re reluctant to voice aloud, knowing it will rupture the delicate bubble you and Tommy have found yourselves in. Yet, it persists, demanding acknowledgment, refusing to be ignored.

You take a deep breath.

“Tommy?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I ask you something?”

He gives you a reassuring smile. “Of course, darlin’.”

“Why won’t you go home?”

Oh. Tommy looks deeply into your eyes, his own filled with turmoil, and finds that he can’t lie to you. 

“I can’t,” he admits softly, turning his gaze towards the distant horizon.

You nod slowly, turning your head towards the water as well. “You know why I’m here.”

“Yes,” he says simply, his acknowledgment laden with a quiet understanding.

You steal a glance at him, your eyes searching for comfort in the weary lines on his face. With a tentative gesture, you place your hand on the bench between you, a subtle invitation for connection.

Tommy, sensing your unspoken plea, catches the movement from the corner of his eye. His gaze meets yours as you turn your head, and in that shared moment of vulnerability, he understands. Without a word, he responds, reaching out to cover your hand with his own. 

His touch is protective, a silent promise that you’re not alone. 

“Do you…do you think that makes me a bad person?” you whisper, your voice trembling as you lay bare the depths of your fears.

“No,” he responds softly, his gaze meeting yours with unwavering sincerity. “You’re not a bad person for feeling the way you do.”

For the first time since your miscarriage, tears glisten in your eyes, shimmering like fragments of shattered dreams under the moonlight. Tommy’s words offer a glimmer of solace, touching your broken heart. 

Silence settles between you two, heavy with shared pain. You sit like that for a while, two strangers finding kinship in the gentle embrace of this summer night.

Gently squeezing your hand, Tommy turns to look at you after a few minutes. “I need you to do something for me,” he says, his voice tinged with urgency. You look into his eyes, finding comfort in the warmth of his presence.

“Please stay with me tonight,” he pleads, his fingers tightening around yours, anchoring you to the present moment as if afraid you might slip away into the night. 

“We can stay here, we can go for drinks, we can go dancing, we can break into the zoo—whatever you want, sweetheart. We don’t have to talk about anything, and I promise I won’t bother you anymore if tomorrow you decide that’s what you want, but please give me a chance to show you that I ca–”

“Okay.”

“Okay?” 

“Okay.”

As the gentle breeze around you whispers secrets of hope and renewal, you find yourself nodding in agreement, a silent promise to give him the chance he so earnestly seeks—to let him show you the light that flickers within the darkness. 

Tommy is momentarily stunned as he searches your face for any sign of hesitation. But there’s none to be found—only a quiet resolve that speaks volumes. A wave of relief washes over him, and he can’t hold back the wide grin spreading across his face.

“So, there’s a place a few minutes from here where we could dance, or there’s the bar I went to earlier, or we could–”

“Tommy?”

“Yes, darlin’?”

“I’m tired. Could we maybe…could we go home?”

Tommy’s face lights up even more. “Yes, yes, of course, darlin’. My place is right around the corner.”

“Great,” you say with a small smile. 

You put your socks and sneakers back on, your movements slow and unsteady after hours of sitting. As you stand up for the first time, your legs wobble beneath you, but Tommy is quick to react, reaching out to steady you with his hands on your waist.

“Sorry,” you mumble, cheeks heating up as you realize your hands are gripping his shoulders for support.

“That’s alright, darlin’. I got you.”

“You’re so cheesy, you know that?” you say with a playful roll of your eyes before removing your hands and taking a step back. 

“Look me in the eye and tell me it’s not working,” he teases back with a smirk.

“Whatever. Can we go?” You raise an eyebrow, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

“After you, my lady,” Tommy says with a gallant flourish, gesturing for you to go first. You shake your head with a theatrical sigh, but play along and start walking.

He falls into step beside you, eager to lift your spirits with an array of random animal facts he’s accumulated over the years, and, much to your amusement, with some particularly funny stories about failed hookups, like the one from tonight.

As you draw closer to his apartment, he suddenly sucks in a sharp breath and comes to a halt.

“What’s wrong?” you ask. 

“I’m so sorry, I forgot to ask if you need anything.”

“Like what?”

“I dunno, tampons, make-up wipes, solution for your contacts, hair conditioner, lotion—I don’t think I have any of that at home, but there’s a convenience sto–”

“It’s okay,” you reassure him, touched by his consideration. “I got all my essentials in my backpack and really don’t need anything fancy. Thank you, though.”

“Are you–”

“Yes, I’m sure,” you interrupt softly. “Thank you.”

Arriving at Tommy’s apartment, you’re struck by its elegant yet welcoming nature. It’s spacious and tastefully furnished, with a modern aesthetic that speaks to Tommy’s discerning taste. You can’t help but wonder if his job as a contractor affords him such a nice living space or if he’s secretly a trust fund kid—or a very successful drug dealer.

“Must be nice,” you think to yourself.

As Tommy ushers you inside, you’re enveloped in a sense of warmth and comfort as the space feels distinctly homey, with its wooden furnishings and cozy accents that evoke a rustic charm. The polished hardwood floors gleam under soft lamplight, casting a warm glow throughout the living room.

Tommy assures you that you’re welcome to make yourself at home as he heads into the kitchen to get you a glass of water.

Despite its hominess, the apartment remains impeccably clean and organized—a testament, perhaps, to Tommy’s meticulous nature. Every surface is spotless, every item in its proper place, reflecting a discipline that may well stem from his army training.

As you explore further, you do notice small touches that hint at Tommy’s personality—framed photos of him and his friends, a worn but well-loved armchair and couch positioned opposite the TV, horse figurines on the sideboard, and a few potted plants scattered throughout, adding a touch of life to the space.

Your eyes are eventually drawn to the record player nestled in one corner, surrounded by a collection of vinyl records. The sight brings a smile to your face, appreciating the nostalgic feeling it gives you. You’re pretty sure you used to have the same model in your childhood home.  

“Here you go, sweetheart,” you hear Tommy’s voice behind you as he hands you the glass of water with a knowing smile. “You like Jazz?”

“Thanks. And yeah, I guess?” 

“Okay, wait a sec.” He moves with practiced ease, flipping through his collection of vinyl records until he finds the one he’s looking for. With a gentle touch, he carefully removes the chosen record from its sleeve, handling it delicately as if it were a precious artifact.

You sip on your water and watch in fascination as he places the record onto the turntable, the soft click of the needle finding its groove. As the first notes of a smooth jazz melody fill the air, you can’t help but smile, the music enveloping you in its warm embrace.

Tommy catches your eye and grins, nodding in approval as if to say, “See, I knew you’d like it.”

You roll your eyes and nudge his arm with your elbow. 

“Want me to show you around?”

“Sure.”

“Okay, so this is the bedroom,” he says, leading you down the hallway and into the room where you’ll be sleeping. The bed sits neatly made, its dark sheets promising a restful night ahead. “I’ll change the sheets for you in a bit, okay? And I’ll be sleeping in the living room on the couch.” 

“I, uh,” you murmur, but stop yourself, shaking your head. “No, forget it.”

“What is it? It’s okay, you can tell me.” He searches your eyes as you meet his gaze, waiting patiently for you to answer him. 

“Could you maybe…not change the sheets?”

Tommy’s eyebrows raise in surprise, but he doesn’t make it awkward. Instead, he nods understandingly and immediately assures you, “Sure, I’ll leave the bed as it is then.”

You offer him a grateful smile and as if sensing your need for comfort, he asks, “Do you need a shirt to sleep?” Without waiting for your response, he retrieves one of his shirts and hands it to you.

“Thank you,” you say quietly, taking the shirt from him and holding it close. It’s soft and smells nice.

“And here’s the bathroom,” Tommy continues, leading you through the space. “Feel free to take a shower if you want. Spare towels are here, and there’s a new toothbrush in the cabinet here. Toothpaste is over there. I even got fancy face masks if you wanna try, they’re in here. You think you got everything you need?”

“I think so,” you smile at him before leaving the bathroom to grab your backpack. 

As you’re about to head back, Tommy slips in ahead of you. You watch as he discreetly removes all the razor blades, a silent but clear gesture of concern for your well-being. You understand what he’s doing, and although it stirs a pang of humiliation and shame inside you, you don’t say anything and act like you didn’t see it.

After he leaves the bathroom, you take a moment to compose yourself before closing the door, peeing, taking off your clothes, and catching a glimpse of the small surgery scars on your belly. They appear to be healing well, already looking much better than even a week ago.

With a deep breath, you turn on the shower, allowing the warm water to cascade over your body, soothing away some of your tension. As you lather up, enveloped in the steam and the rich scent of Tommy’s body wash, there’s a knock on the door, interrupting your thoughts.

“Darlin’?” Tommy’s voice sounds through the door.

“Yeah?”

“Just wanted to check if you were okay.”

“I’m okay. But you seriously need to start buying body wash for adults, dude. I’m gonna be smelling like a fourteen-year-old boy now, and I don’t know how to feel about it,” you tease. 

“Ha ha, you brat. Enjoy your shower.”

You smile to yourself and appreciate how clean Tommy’s shower is as, in your experience, that is not something you can count on with men who live alone.

As you lather shampoo into your hair, you close your eyes, allowing yourself a moment of peace amidst the chaos of recent events. It’s all so surreal.

Once rinsed, you step out of the shower and wrap yourself in one of Tommy’s plush towels, the soft fabric hugging your body in a tight embrace. With the steam still lingering in the air, you take your time cleaning your face, brushing your teeth and detangling your wet hair, these simple acts of self-care something you’ve neglected in the weeks prior.

Luckily, your past self decided to pack a fresh pair of panties and a pair of soft yoga pants you can change into now, Tommy’s shirt completing your pajamas for tonight. 

Slowly, you step out of the bathroom, the soft light of the living room floor lamp casting a warm glow on the scene before you. Tommy’s sitting on the couch, bathed in the gentle ambiance of the record player’s music.

With a glass of whiskey in hand, he seems lost in thought, fingers rhythmically tapping against the glass, his eyes focused on the spinning vinyl. As you approach, he looks up, a small smile gracing his lips as he welcomes you to join him.

“Okay yeah, I get it,” he quips, his tone playful as he notices how perfectly his shirt accentuates your eye color. “You look better in my shirt than I ever could. There’s really no need to rub it in.”

Chuckling, you settle into the cushion beside him, feeling the warmth of his presence. It feels oddly comforting to be close to him again, his cologne a familiar scent.

But as you sit beside him now, something shifts in the air, a subtle change that you can’t quite pinpoint. It’s as if a newfound awareness has settled between you, casting a different light on the space you share. And as you steal glances at Tommy, you start to feel restless, your heart rate quickening.

Oh.

The realization dawns on you slowly, creeping in like the first light of dawn, illuminating the depths of your emotions. You find yourself unable to tear your gaze away from him, mesmerized by the way he sits on the couch, his posture relaxed yet undeniably confident. 

Your eyes trail over the breadth of his shoulders, down his strong arms, his sculpted torso, and settle on his spread thighs, the subtle flex of muscles visible beneath the fabric of his jeans. Each movement, each shift of his body, only serves to deepen the intensity of your attraction to him.

You’re in trouble. 

His handsome face holds a certain allure, drawing you in with its rugged charm—especially with those warm eyes and the beautiful facial hair. As you look at him, really take him in, you can’t deny the flutter of arousal stirring deep within you.

A flutter that’s enough to urge your scrambled brain to make a move.

Tommy catches your prolonged stare, and his brows furrow slightly, a hint of curiosity flickering in his eyes. You gather the courage to ask for a sip of his whiskey, unwittingly biting your lip as you wait for his answer. 

“Of course, darlin’,” he agrees, leaning in with a broad smile, bringing the glass closer to you.

As your fingers brush against his on the glass, you feel a surge of electricity pass between you. His pupils dilate ever so slightly, his gaze locked onto yours. You take the glass from him, your fingers lingering on his for a moment longer than necessary.

Raising the glass to your lips, you take a slow sip, relishing the smooth warmth of the whiskey as it slides down your throat. Your eyes never leave his as you lick your lips, the gesture not lost on Tommy as he watches you intently.

The flicker of desire in his eyes tells you that he’s captivated by your silent invitation, but as Tommy accepts the glass back, a faint frown tugs at his brow, his expression suddenly tense.

“Darlin’, don’t look at me like that,” he murmurs, his voice husky with restraint.

You raise an eyebrow, feigning innocence as you ask, “Why not?”

“Because,” he breathes out, “it’s making me want to do things I shouldn’t.”

“Hmm, but what if I told you that I want to do those things, too?”

Tommy swallows hard as you scoot closer to him, his eyes never leaving yours. His pulse quickens, evident in the subtle rise and fall of his chest, his mind racing with a thousand thoughts, unsure of what to do or say next.

When your hand lands gently above his knee, his body tenses at your touch. His lips part slightly, as if he’s about to speak, but all he manages is a heavy breath.

“Tell me to stop,” you whisper, your voice barely audible as you lean in slowly, searching his eyes. You can see the conflict raging within him, desire warring with restraint, and you wait for his response.

With a shaky exhale, his gaze drops down to your lips, his entire being filled with longing and uncertainty. But as your palm wanders up his thigh, drawing closer and closer to his growing erection, his resolve begins to crumble like sand underfoot. 

Unable to resist any longer, he leans in, closing the distance between you, his lips meeting yours in a tender yet fervent kiss. His hand instinctively finds the back of your neck, his fingers threading through your wet hair as he pulls you closer, deepening the kiss with a quiet urgency.

Feeling you so close, feeling your soft lips against his, he surrenders to the moment, to the sweet sensation of your embrace, letting himself be consumed by the taste of you.

And yet, in the back of his mind, he’s painfully aware of the circumstances of your meeting.

“I don’t think…this…is a good idea,” Tommy mumbles breathlessly against your lips as you whine needily for more.

“I don’t care,” you breathe, pulling back for a moment to hold onto his shoulders and straddle his lap. His cock twitches in his jeans as you scoot forward, your warm core putting delicious pressure on it. Smiling, you put your hands on his chest and lean in to kiss him again. He cups your face with his hands, kissing you back deeply before nudging your nose with his. 

You open your eyes and meet his gaze, his pupils so dilated his brown eyes are almost completely black. 

“Let me look at you, baby” he murmurs, his voice barely above a whisper, sending shivers down your spine. With a smile, you straighten up and place your hands behind you on his thighs, giving him a great  view of your spread thighs and torso.

“Is this okay?” Tommy asks softly as he traces your thighs with his palms, his touch sending tingles of anticipation through your body.

You nod your head yes, and his lips curve into a smile as his eyes roam your body and face with adoration. His hands wander over your hips, under the shirt you’re wearing, along your waist and further up, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. 

“You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen,” he murmurs, his eyes piercing yours as his hands come to rest on your waist. 

“I’m sure you say that to every girl willing to sit on your lap,” you tease with a smirk, putting your hands on his chest. You can feel his heartbeat under your palm. 

“Yeah, but with you I mean it.” His words carry a weight of sincerity as one hand reaches out to tenderly caress your cheek, while the other glides over the soft skin of your back. “C’mere baby.”

As you lean in, his lips capture yours with an almost desperate hunger, his kiss rough and deep, as if he fears you might vanish if he doesn’t hold onto you tightly enough. His hands glide to your lower back, hovering just above your ass, hesitant to go further yet craving to pull you closer, to feel every inch of you pressed against him, to consume you whole. 

“You don’t have to be so gentle. I won’t break,” you say softly, leading his hands down to your ass. You hum in satisfaction as he grabs it, feeling the strain of his arousal against your aching pussy.

“Tommy,” you whine quietly against his lips, begging him to understand how desperately you need him.

Lost in the moment, you both sink deeper into the kiss, the world around you fading away until there’s only the heat of each other’s bodies and the rhythm of your shared desire. Your fingers tangle in his hair, pulling him closer as his hands roam your back, igniting sparks of pleasure with every touch.

But as the intensity of your kiss grows, so does the weight of uncertainty. Tommy pulls back slightly, his breathing heavy as he searches your eyes for reassurance.

“Are you sure about this?” he whispers. “We don’t have to…”

“I want you, Tommy,” you purr, your eyes glazed. 

Your hips rock against him, trying to relieve the tension that has grown between your thighs, eliciting a deep groan from him. His hands move to your waist, helping you grind against him. 

“Oh shit,” he pants, reveling in the needy moans leaving your lips. “I don’t wanna hurt you, baby,” he admits with a soft shake of his head, looking at you with wide eyes, still moving you against the bulge in his jeans.

“You’re not gonna hurt me,” you breathe, leaning in to kiss and suck at his sensitive neck, leaving purple marks behind. You feel his grip tighten, his restraint slipping as he responds to your touch with a low groan.

Lost in the overload of sensations—feeling your warm body, your soft lips and wet tongue, your urgent movements on him, hearing your moans and whispered pleas—Tommy is ready to give you what you both want.

But right as he’s opening his belt with deft fingers, he inadvertently turns his head and catches his reflection in the window. Watching you writhe on top of him, clutching his shirt, his own face twisted in ecstasy, a sharp pang of guilt shoots through him.

This isn’t right. He shouldn’t be doing this.

You move to kiss his lips again, but as you do so, you catch the concern in his eyes, and your heart sinks. “Hey,” you whisper, your brow furrowed, an anxious smile on your lips. 

Your fingers trail gently through his hair, seeking reassurance, but when his movements cease and his touch withdraws, panic floods your senses.

“No, no please don’t stop,” you beg, your desperation evident in every word. You press against him, your hips moving with urgency, aching for the connection you crave so deeply. “I need you.”

Your hands gently cup his cheeks, your pleading eyes flitting between his. 

“Please? Tommy?”

Feeling something bump against your leg, you’re called back to the present.

“Oh, hi there, buddy,” you coo, looking down at the toddler who just faceplanted in front of you. You lean down and offer your hand to help him up. “What are you up to, hm? Just running around?”

He looks up at you with wide eyes, his face breaking into a toothy grin. “You wanna sit up here and wait for your mommy?” You lift him up, putting more pressure on your bandaged hand than you should, and set him down beside you. “Great view, huh?”

He babbles something unintelligible, his little arms flailing as his excited laughter fills the air. “You’re so right, buddy,” you agree, following his gaze to the sparkling blue, “the ocean is beautiful.”

“Benji? Oh, there you are,” a lady in a swimsuit calls out, walking towards you with a relieved smile. “I’m sorry for disturbing you,” she says to you, her tone apologetic. “Benji, how many times have I told you not to run away, hm?”

The toddler giggles in response to his mom’s reproach, his little arms reaching out for her. You can’t help but laugh along with him. 

“Think twice before you decide to have kids,” the lady says with a deep sigh, lifting her son onto her hip. “They’re not always as cute as they look.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind,” you chuckle.

“Say bye to the nice lady,” she prompts, her voice warm and gentle.

Benji turns to you, his eyes bright with innocence, and waves enthusiastically with his chubby little hand.

“Bye Benji,” you coo, returning his wave with a big smile, your heart warmed by his adorable gesture.

You sigh and look at your phone. You have two new messages from Tommy.

Maria says she can’t wait to see you tomorrow. And that she’ll personally drag you here if you decide not to show up. 

You’re family and there’s nothing you can do to escape us ;)

You swallow hard and can feel your puffy, irritated eyes starting to water behind your black glasses. What the fuck did you ever do in your insignificant life to deserve this kind of love?

Your phone lights up with another text from Tommy. 

just accept it <3

You snort and shake your head. You’re so grateful for his friendship. It has changed a lot over the last couple of years, of course it has, especially after he started dating Maria, and more recently since you started…seeing his brother without telling him. 

But the fact that you’re still honoring your yearly tradition to have your late-night talk on this very bench, is a testament to the depth of your bond. It’s a cherished ritual, marking the anniversary of your first meeting. You meet here, under the evening sky, exchanging stories and laughter, and indulging in pizza after sunset.

Two years ago, Tommy told you he met someone before you left his apartment the next morning. 

“Sweetheart?” “Yeah?” “I, uh, I got something to tell you.” “Shoot.” “I met someone.” Your fingers halt as you’re tying your shoes, the world around you suddenly still as his words sink in. You stare at the floor, tension building in your heart. “We’ve only been on two dates, but I–” “Really like her,” you finish his sentence as you tie the laces into a knot, straighten up and meet his gaze. “Yes.” That’s it, then. You’ve been replaced. “Does that,” you clear your throat that feels incredibly tight now, your voice shaking, “does that mean we can’t hang out anymore?” Tears well up in your eyes as you feel a rush of panic flood through you. You look down and try to blink back the tears threatening to spill over. “Of course not,” Tommy says, his tone gentle yet firm. “Nothing and no one in the world could ever keep me from spending time with you.” “Okay,” you manage to choke out, your voice barely above a whisper as you hastily wipe away a tear with trembling fingers. “I’m sorry for crying, I–I don’t mean to.” “Hey, you don’t need to apologize for that,” Tommy says softly, closing the distance between you two. His hands find their place on your shoulders, offering a gentle squeeze of reassurance. “Darlin’, look at me.” You lift your gaze to meet his, your eyes brimming with fresh tears. “I mean it,” he says with a comforting smile, looking intently into your eyes and cupping your face with his hands. “I promise I’m not going to leave you. I will always be here for you.” You study his face and tell the nagging voice in your mind to shut the fuck up. This is Tommy. He deserves love, he deserves happiness, he deserves someone who can give him everything he wants.  And that’s not you. You give him a kiss on the cheek and a sincere smile. “I’m really happy for you, Tommy.”

You did continue spending time together—Tommy kept his word and didn’t abandon you—but as more and more time passed, you would see him less and less as his relationship with Maria deepened.

You expected that to happen, it didn’t hurt any less though.

One year ago, he told you he was going to propose to her, and you spent all night brainstorming ideas on how he could do it. After she’d said yes, they both let you know one day over dinner that they were going to elope, just the two of them, and you were the only person they’d tell beforehand. 

A few weeks ago, Tommy beamed with pride as he shared that they were trying for a baby, the twinkle in his eyes warming your heart. Despite the joyous news, you couldn’t resist teasing him for planting that image in your mind.

After you’d shared your stories, and your pineapple and pepperoni pizzas, he very casually asked you if you were seeing anyone, and you said, “No.” 

“You’re a horrible liar, darlin’.” “I’m not lying. I don’t like anyone except you.” “Stroking my ego’s not gonna get you off the hook, baby.” “Hmm, I’m pretty sure it’s working though.” “The longer you deny it, the more obvious it gets, you know.” “I’m not seeing anybody, Tommy.” “You really wanna play semantics with me?” “Alright, alright. I guess I’m…kinda seeing someone.” “Why just ‘kinda’? Does the guy not realize what a lucky bastard he is?” “It’s not him. It’s, uh…you know me.” “Yeah, and that’s why I know you’ve caught feelings.” “Ew, don’t say that.” “Well, it’s true. It’s written all over your pretty face.” “You suck, you know that?” “Yeah, it’s part of what makes me so charming. Does he know?” “I dunno, probably not.” “Are you gonna tell him?” “Uhh, I don’t think so.” “Why not? All this time I’ve known you and I’ve never seen you in love before. You can’t just…ignore it.” “Tommy…” “Don’t even try it with the puppy eyes, I’m immune to them.” “Liar.” “Give me one good reason why you shouldn’t tell him.” “Easy. If I never tell him, it’ll never hurt.” “That’s not how it works.” “You just couldn’t let me live happily in my delusions, hm?”  “Sweetheart. I know you’re scared, and you have all the reason to, but…sometimes you gotta take a leap of faith, you know?” “I’m not sure I can.” “What does your gut say?” “My gut says he’s too good for me and that he wouldn’t like me if he knew who I really am.” “As someone who does know who you really are, I can assure you that it’s a privilege I wouldn’t miss for the world.” “I just…don’t wanna mess things up, Tommy.”  “Look. Nothing lasts, but nothing is lost if you try. Everything changes and everything is alright.” “Wow, that was beautiful…you’re really starting to feel that rum and coke, huh?” “You know I’m right, baby.”

It’s funny, really. 

You actually entertained the idea that Tommy might be onto something, that perhaps opening up to Joel could bring some semblance of peace, that perhaps you could be happy together. Yet here you are, back where you started, the familiar ache of loss settling in your heart, whispering that everything is far from alright.

As the sun dips below the horizon, the sky transforming into a canvas of vibrant colors,  reflecting off the rippling surface of the water, you take your shoes and socks off. You sink your toes into the soft, grainy sand, relishing its comforting texture. 

Closing your eyes, you take a deep breath, allowing the rhythmic sound of the waves to soothe your racing thoughts. With each exhale, you remind yourself that you’re safe, embracing the tranquility of the moment as the colors of the sunset dance across your eyelids. 

You feel grounded, peaceful, almost—

“Hi, darlin’.”

“Jesus, you scared me,” you startle with a gasp, snapping back to reality as Joel’s voice unexpectedly breaks the silence.

“I’m so sorry, I thought you saw me,” he says with an apologetic smile on his lips, his big puppy eyes looking puppier than ever.

You sigh exasperatedly and take off your sunglasses. “I didn’t.”

“I’m sorry,” he begins, his words stumbling over each other, “I didn’t mean to intrude, I just...I thought I–I mean, I wanted to...”

“Joel,” you interrupt him, too exhausted—physically and emotionally—to beat around the bush. “What are you doing here?”

His brow furrows slightly and his heart plummets as he sees your bleary eyes, a pang of concern settling heavily in his stomach. “I wanted to see you, darlin’,” he confesses softly.

Your gaze sharpens with curiosity and suspicion as you ask, “But how did you know I was gonna be here? And can you please sit down? You’re making me nervous.”

Joel hesitates for a moment, then sits down beside you, his movements cautious as if afraid to spook you. With a nervous glance in your direction, he clears his throat, his voice low and hesitant.

“I, uh,” he begins, his words faltering slightly, “I went to your place after work to see if you’d maybe talk to me in person. But you weren’t there. And then I went to your office to see if you were working late, but I saw Kristen and she said it was your day off. You could have been anywhere at that point, so I went to Tommy’s and…told him.”

His eyes flit between yours, anxiously searching for your reaction. 

You blink slowly, processing Joel’s words with a sense of resignation rather than shock. A heavy sigh escapes your lips as you realize that, at this point, nothing surprises you anymore. With a tired nod, you acknowledge Joel’s actions, feeling too drained to muster any significant reaction.

“How’d he take it?” you ask quietly.

Joel exhales deeply, a wry smile on his lips. “He isn’t too happy with me right now, but I think he’ll get over it.”

“Hm.”

“Darlin’, I’m sorry,” he says, his voice wavering with emotion. “I know you probably don’t want to see me right now, but after last night, I just…I couldn’t bare the thought of you not knowing how much you mean to me.”

As Joel speaks, you keep your gaze averted, unable to meet his eyes, your focus fixed on the sand beneath your feet. You hear every word he says, each one echoing in the silence between you, your heart pounding in your chest. Despite your reluctance to face him, Joel’s unwavering gaze remains fixed on you, his eyes silently pleading for understanding.

In the midst of the tense silence, a sudden clarity washes over you, and your heart speaks before your mind can catch up. Just as Joel opens his mouth to apologize again and explain further, you interject with your own question, the words tumbling out softly into the stillness.

“Do you ever feel like there’s something missing...like a piece of your heart is somewhere else? And no matter what you do, you’re always gonna be incomplete?” 

You meet Joel’s gaze, your eyes searching his, peering into his soul with a vulnerability that lays bare your deepest feelings. 

“I don’t feel like that when I’m with you,” you whisper.

Joel’s brows furrow in a mixture of surprise and tenderness as your words sink in. His lips part slightly, his expression softening with understanding as he processes the weight of your confession.

“Would you, um,” you clear your throat, “would you hold my hand and just sit with me for a bit?”

Joel’s eyes beam with adoration as he gently envelops your hand that’s clutching your shirt, delicately prying it away and intertwining his fingers with yours. With a soft, reassuring smile, he places your entwined hands on his thigh, the warmth of his touch seeping into your skin.

As you both gaze out at the vast expanse of the water, the waves lapping against the shore in a mesmerizing dance, you feel a sense of peace settle over you like a warm blanket.

You still carry the weight of unresolved issues and uncertainties in your heart, acknowledging that they loom on the horizon, demanding attention. But for now, they can wait.

Your hand in Joel’s feels right, and in this shared moment right here, that’s enough.

Thank you for reading! 🤍

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[muzicgenerator]

Hey, can I request an angst story with Bill and reader (the reader is female) abt crazy fans please? Like them (Bill and the reader) admitting somewhere (idk maybe in an interview for a magazine) that they almost broke up because of that (maybe reader's fanbase is known for being "too much" sometimes like following the reader everywhere, being so in love with her etc)

(Also could the story take place in the 2000s please?)

Goodbye 👋

i like this one im actually excited abt writing this one shot

btw im so sorry for late reply AHSJHFKDHDK please expect ill take like AT LEAST a week to answer yalls request bc im busy as hell w school 😭😭 love u guys pls understand

and again this aint entirely proof read

⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒⭒

Too Much?

✮

Pairing: Bill Kaulitz x Fem Reader

Genre: Angst, Mostly fluff

Warnings: Stalking, mention of nonconsensual touching, very embarrassing storytime from bill

Request Status: closed :(

✩°｡⋆⸜ 🎧✮ I'm Not Okay (I Promise) : My Chemical Romance

(Time set back in late November of 2007)

Being a famous actress since as a child was unbelievably tough.

You had worked so hard and expertly; you didn't even have time to spend your childhood properly.

Just at the age of 19 and you've finished numerous movies and series. A true self-made millionaire, really.

You and your ravenette boyfriend are currently doing an interview for a night show.

"So ____, wow! After a long pause from doing films you're finally gonna have one showing soon! How is it like? Being back and all; being the talk of the country."

In the past one and a half year you hadn't done any projects since you've decided to take a break for yourself. And now you're once again busy taping with film staff and directors for your new and upcoming Teenage Romance movie.

Rest assured it's not your typical boy-meets-girl or vice versa and they do sappy sweet stuff and get together kind of film; it has its own uniqueness that will surely be called as "One of 2000s greatest Teen Romance movies of all time."

"Oh, I feel great Hanna. I had a deserving break and I'm back to doing one of the things I love most. I'm even happier because I got my lover and his band to sing the theme song for the movie." You truthfully answered and chuckled by the end of your statement.

"How about you Bill? How are things with your band?" Hanna included Bill to the conversation.

At that, he smiled politely. "Everything's great with us y'know, we're still together and all. Which I'm grateful for."

After a few more minutes for pep talk; the blonde interviewer finally decided to get onto the exciting part of the show.

"And now, for the moment we've all been waiting for! Dunk Tank!" Hanna smiled widely at the selected crowd.

"Where in this game; you will pick someone from the crowd who will accompany you with this game.

Your selected teammate will ask any question they want; to which you will answer, and if you don't want to then they'll get a chance to throw a ball on the target. Where if they hit it, you'll fall down the tank."

Hanna excitedly announced despite having done this for the nth time.

"____ and Bill, play Rock, Paper, Scissors to see who goes first."

You knew you'd beat Bill since every single time you played it - he'd miserably lose.

"Oh, I'm confident in winning this one!" you proudly say.

"Just because you've beat me all the other times we played this, doesn't mean I'll lose now!" Bill accepted your challenge and laughed.

He was right. He won for the very first time.

"Oh my God! Did I seriously win?!" your black clothed boyfriend exclaimed.

"I only let you win this time because I felt sorry." you playfully rolled your eyes with a smirk.

"Whatever, I'm gonna choose now." he giggled and stepped closer to the crowd.

His fan girls were screaming at the top of their lings, begging to be chosen by him.

No, you weren't jealous. Not one bit. Sometimes Bill would even complain about you not being possessive of him from time to time and would think you're not as in love as he thought.

It's cute, really. Then you'll show him how much you love him through actions rather than words.

Bill chose a girl who seemingly looked two or three years younger.

The joyous girl screamed in surprise; "Oh my god! What?! Me??! SERIOUSLY??"

It made Bill giggle, "Yes, you! Now get down here!"

A body guard helped the girl down; and when she was no longer at the stairs she rushed Bill to hug him but abruptly stopped. "Hi oh my god you're more beautiful up close! Can I hug you?!" she says excitingly.

It made your heart flutter just how kinder your boyfriend's fans are compared to yours.

To say your fan base is crazy is an understatement. Many would harass you through nasty words or touching you with no consent; it didn't matter if they did that out of how much they "love" you, it was still disgusting.

"Um, yeah. Sure!" he hesitantly looked at you; his eyes asking for permission. To which you subtly nodded.

Again, your heart melted by how he's making sure you're okay with it. Honestly, you very much understood that being famous would mean people wanting to hug you or any form of physical contact. Plus, it's not like you can say no to Bill from hugging a fan; you'd be a scandal. And you knew Bill wouldn't have any other choice as well.

He wrapped an arm over her shoulders while she fully embraced him. Okay, you're a teensy bit jealous especially by the way she's holding him like he's her man.

But that was soon washed away when she turns to you.

"Hi! What's your name sweetie?" Hanna asked and put a mic on her mouth.

"My name is Pauline!"

Before Hanna could say anything further, Pauline beat her to it.

"____!! I'm such a big fan of you too! I've been watching your movies since forever." saying she's over the moon is definitely an understatement! This will definitely be a core memory.

Almost immediately you wrapped your arms around her back and squeezed her. This girl is definitely one of the most respectable and sweetest fan you've ever met.

Was it really low? Yes.

The audience cheered by how sweet you and Bill had been to the girl and by how jealous they were.

As Bill and Hanna chattered about God knows what; the girl leaned closer to you in order to ask a favour which no one can hear.

"Can I ask you to shout out my brother? He has a huge crush on you!"

"Sorry darling but we're in the middle of a show right now. How about later I ask the staff to send you to the backstage? Then I'll give him my magazine with an autograph, and if you have a camera with you - you can video me saying hi to him!" you came up with a resolution.

Was it over the top? You didn't know and you didn't care. You're just fleeting with joy by how this girl isn't like any other of your fans.

"Seriously? You'd do that for me and my brother?" she gasped.

"Well, yeah. I mean it's not always that I have such nice interactions with people who are a fan."

"Okay lovebirds what are you two talking about there?" Hanna teased with a smirk and Bill playfully pouted.

"Nothing, nothing" you laughed and held Bill's arm as the crowd laughed and cheered.

"If you say sooo." she replied. "Alright, your turn to pick!"

You carefully looked around the crowd and walked five steps of the stairs to get a better view of the people on the back. A fifteen year old boy was holding a banner stating "Bill's No.1 Boy", it was cute, really. So you planned to steal your boyfriend's fan! (this a joke dont hate reader pls)

"The ginger at the back with the banner please." you said to the mic.

The boy squeeled in delight and threw his banner somewhere before running down to you. Your arms opened for an embrace which he immediately jumped into.

"What's your name?" you put the mic to his mouth as you both carefully went down the stairs and back to the stage.

"Sam, I'm Sam! My name is Sam!" his rather high pitched voice said.

"Okay, Sam. I know you're Bill's fan so I'm gonna have to steal you, that okay?"

"Hey, no fair!" Bill patted the boy's head and shot a smile at him.

This moment for him is definitely a core memory and will brag about it to every living human he sees.

"Now, who wants to go first in the tank?" Hanna asked.

"I'll do it" Bill says excitingly.

They agreed and the staff helped him get up. Once he were seated and adjusted in the circular surface; he challenge you.

"Ask a good one!"

"Ohohoo, we definitely will!" you smirked.

You turn to Sam and ask him without the mics near your faces; "What're you gonna ask your idol?"

"Oh uhmm, I don't really know." he says bashfully.

"Maybe his most embarrassing moment?"

"That'll work, definitely." you smile supportively and fist bumped him.

"Bill, you read?!" Hanna exclaimed.

"Born ready!!"

"Alright Sam, ask away!"

"What's the most embarrassing thing that's happened to you?" Sam asked with twinkles in his eyes.

"Oh, definitely when me and ____ weren't dating yet; she threw a sleepover party and she invited me and my mates, and there were three bathrooms, right? The three were being used and in one of those bathrooms it was Tom using it, and I had to rush him because I really needed to take a shit, like I couldn't hold it any farther!

So he went out really pissed and I pushed him off the door and quickly shut it and went right into business."

Bill paused and tried to compose himself as the crowd started to get louder.

"And when I washed and pushed the flush button - It wouldn't flush! So I got really scared because I just shit in my crush's toilet and I can't let anyone know that I'm the one who did it. So i looked around and saw a pack of pads so I took one of them; and forced myself to dip my hand down to grab it and I almost puked!

I look around and see there's no trash bin. So I panic again, and eventually decided I'll just rush down to throw it in the garbage in her garage. I quickly make a run for it and almost bumped into ___"

He now covered his hands in shame and embarrassment. "And she saw the pad in my hand! So she asked me like, 'Is that a pad?' and I'm like yes and so she asks whose it is...... and I said it's mine....."

You know of this story long ago; and it just gets better and better whenever you think or hear of it.

The audience and interviewer roared with laughter; as well as the staff behind and securities who tried to contain their smiles.

"I wish I never asked!" Sam wiped his tears from laughing too hard.

"Get down here Bill! That was too much!" Hanna's cheeks started to hurt, "Sorry to the viewers who are eating."

Bill went down immediately and squeezed the living life out of you. He does this whenever he's feeling embarrassed or nervous, and calls it his "Physical Support" from you.

"You should've let yourself get thrown in the water!" you giggled and hugged him back before he pulled away with a red face.

"Next goes ____!"

Once you were seated and made yourself comfortable on the seat; you tell them you're ready.

It was Pauline's turn to question whatever she wishes. "____, what do you think of your fans?"

She asks sincerely; she must've noticed something by the way you're like to your fan base and to Bill's. A part of you wished she hadn't asked but you've been dying to let the creepers out there know that whatever they'd been doing to you for a long long time - greatly affects you, especially as a young stat growing up in this sort of industry.

You rarely held any meet and greet, rarely had photos with fans where you look actually comfortable and where they weren't touching your waist or hips or near your ass - and ones where you do look comfortable it was mostly with girls or kids, which was not as often as when you do with the rest; who are pedophiles and creepy boys.

Of course you've always been nice when interacting with them; you didn't want to be rude and only wanted to be kind.

Definitely, there were times when you couldn't take it and couldn't do anything about it - other than cry and complain in your lover's arms.

You're forever thankful to have someone like him; he'd always listen to whatever you say and support everything you do.

Not realising; you zoned out quite a bit and snapped out of it when Bill called out your name with worry that he's trying to mask from everyone.

"Oh-, well, obviously I love them so much, if it weren't for them I wouldn't have succeed this much - of course the people who helped me get up in this industry as well.

I truly do appreciate their love and support, seriously. But quite the number of them are uh, how do I say this." you nervously chuckled as everyone listened intently to the tea you're telling.

"Crossing my boundaries? Yes, uh- that." you say not quite satisfied with the word you chose. It was evident that it's worse than just that but the safest.

"We all know people would cross it by taking unsolicited pictures of you, that's given because you're a celebrity, but are there some other ways they would? If you don't mind me asking of course." Hanna carefully asked.

You smiled softly, "Well a few have stalked me to my house - which I dunno how the hell they did so and took pictures of me and they'd send it to me and tell me how they thought of me. Some leave love letters, flowers, food in front of my gate, sent death threats to my exes when I was dating them and even now to my Bill." you left the worse parts out since you didn't want half of the world to be talking about your most private part of life. What you're even telling them now is a whole lot.

"Wow.. we all knew your fan base could get a bit crazy judging from all the videos we see and the news, but not by this much!" Hanna says empathetically.

"It happens, I guess." you try to laugh it off. However, Bill looked at your hues with his that sent the message of "Are you okay?"

In which yours replied with "I'm not okay."

✮✮✮

The game went on a for it was Pauline's turn to the dunk tank, then Sam's.

You continued your cheery self through the whole taping and told yourself you'll regret what you said later in your dressing room. Bill kept his distance close to you and would caress your hand or shoulder as a sign of support - as well as slipping a "How're you holding up?" every now and then.

If there were billions of ways to show gratitude to this man; you'd do every single one of it to him.

After the agonizing show was over; you and Bill kissed Hanna's cheeks as a goodbye and thank you. To which she said back to you both as well and wished to see you soon.

As you made your way to the dressing room in silence with your fingers intertwined with Bill's; you abruptly stop in your tracks.

"I almost forgot I have to sign a magazine for Pauline!"

Your lover looked confused for a second "What? Why?"

"I kinda promised Pauline I'll just sign a magazine for her brother because she asked me to shout him out while taping." you let a small huff and loosened your grip on your boyfriend's slender hand. "How about I'll see you later in the van? You can wait for me there instead if I haven't been back by five minutes."

Bill smiled, "Of course sweetheart, I'll see you later. Love you." he pecked your lips and lovingly looked into your eyes for a moment before heading to his dressing room.

Quickly; you asked a staff to bring Pauline to your dressing room to give her an autograph - to which they agreed to. Thankfully.

While they did that, you strided to your room and grabbed your magazine and marker - which immediately after doing so, a knock was heard on your door.

You hand held the paper as the other gripped the violet ink marker. When you did, you were greeted by a Pauline smiling widely with a camera on her right hand.

"Hi!" she says excitingly.

You greet back and quickly hugged her, "I see you have a camera with you."

"Oh, yes, uhm.. I was wondering if i can take a video of you signing an autograph? So my brother would believe me that it really is from you." she nervously giggled. "I might or might now have pranked him once by giving him a fake autograph."

"Yeah, sure. What's your brother's name?" you say softly.

"It's Percy." she answers as she readies her camera.

"Alright, is it rolling?" you ask with a smile on your face. Pauline says yes with a grateful smile; grateful for being how considerate and kind you are.

"Hi Paul! So I heard from your sister that you're a fan? Too bad you didn't come with her." you looked behind the camera to Pauline.

"And I heard she gave you a fake autograph of mine? Well now, you're getting a real one, and this is the proof." you say still giggling as you signed the magazine.

"There, and keep the pen. I gotta go now, bye and love you!" you say as you waved goodbye and gave your iconic kiss blow alongside a wink.

Once Pauline returned the camera back to her bag; she immediately thanked you.

"I'm serious - thank you thank you sooo much! And uh.. I'm really sorry if what I asked earlier was too personal. I really am. I was just curious and didn't thoroughly before it slipped my mouth." she noticed the change of the atmosphere long ago. Even if she's just fifteen, she knew how to read the room well.

"Aw, sweetie.. it's nothing." you pat her shoulder, "It's fine I tell ya, also I better get going - you should too, it'll get dark in just two hours. Bye bye and stay safe!" you wave goodbye as she still exclaimed thank you's as she walked backwards towards the exit.

(that footage is definitely gonna go viral after many years)

In a light speed; you gathered your essential belongings and had your personal assistant help you carry your other belongings to the van; to which Bill noticed through the windows that you're carrying back pack and a purse and immediately helped you despite having it under perfect control.

He opened the door for you and let you in first before him and closed the door. Your personal assistant sat in the passenger seat next to the driver, while you and your beloved were at the very back despite the space up front.

You rested your head on his shoulder and he put his above yours while he held your hand with both of his; tracing every outline, massaging it, and kissing it once in a while.

"R'you okay now?" Bill mumbled and kissed your head.

"Yes, hon. I'm great actually.. thanks so much for being there, I love you so much." you turn your head to face his and pecked his lips.

"I love you more than you'll ever know, I'm glad you're okay." he smiled genuinely and kissed you deep and passionate.

You returned to your head's original position and fell to sleep; not caring if tomorrow, you'll be the town's talk.

#tokio hotel #tokio hotel x reader #bill kaulitz x reader #bill kaulitz #tom kaulitz #george listing #gustav schäfer #fluff #light angst #tw stalking #sorry

[imfiguringitoutlovely]

HI HELLO HOWDY I just saw ur quirk requests and I gots one hehe

Unicorn

This quirk gives the user some attributes of a unicorn (horn, ears, and a long tail with hair on the end) as well as stronger legs, specifically enhanced agility speed and strength! The quirk also gives them the ability to remove toxins/poisons from water and to a greater extent people, although it's much more difficult. However, they do have a poison/toxin resistance due to the purifying part of their quirk

They aren't related to anyone in Canon but the stronger legs part of their quirk is similar to Mirko!

Platonic 1A please!!

And extra info is he/they pronouns and idk if you write trans reader but if you're comfy doing so that's be awesome :D, also their vibe is pastel himbo JDHDBSND

I lov ur writing and I hope ur having a good day/night!!!!

Unicorn in a UA Uniform

pairing: platonic!class 1a x reader (he/they, trans)

genre: fluff, sillies, LIGHT angst

warnings: mentions of femenization/fear of transphobia (doesn't aftually occur, just a fear of) + mentions of jerkwads

author's note: i was blasting mlp songs while writing this. ALSO***, for future ref, as a trans person, im more than happy to write trans rep!

(also dont like how people made scary edits of this song :( )

(Ik this isn't unicorn themes exactly but it made me :]:]:]:] happy bc its bright and pretty like unicorns :])

you're warm. you're bright, and everything about your quirk should be an automatic eyestrain warning, but it's not because there's something about who you are as a person that balances.

you're not coolheaded or laidback, but you're not eccentric to the point where it comes off as forceful. you're you, yourself, a proud unicorn himbo, and nobody in your class can bring themselves to think anything negatively of that whatsoever. even people like bakugou embrace it (a few weeks in) and though it does perplex him, he doesn't look into it much.

so your first impression as a person? GREAT!

the next issue though was how people saw you as a peer. well, moreso from a professional stance.

because of your power to remove toxins paired with your ability to watch your own ass, you're typically quickly labeled as a support hero or told you should pursue rescuing. at first you just took it as a compliment because there's nothing weak or bad about being a support hero or rescuing! they're difficult fields of work and arguably some of the most important!

but when you realized it was a backhanded way to tell you that you weren't suited for prohero work, it started to bother you.

the way people told you, too, was just so condescending. they always said it with a bit of a bite in their tone, a second slap in the face once you realized they were also treating you like an outright idiot.

"have you ever considered... alternative career paths? heroes are always looking for sidek- er- support."

"you're no cat, but i'd imagine the pussycats are always looking for back up crew. the pay is good and well... it'd probably save you your...mental energy."

it wasn't just random people. no, it was some people even at SCHOOL who were telling you this, people who youd considered friends since middle school.

and it was tough. trying to act as though you didn't understand their intentions was TOUGH. but considering the alternative, which was losing your only "friends", you decided to play up the whole clueless, starry eyed dreamer act.

this was until you got your first praises from aizawa.

training was great. difficult and tiring, and it definitely pushed you to your very limits, but great. you were treated seriously and that was all you'd really wanted.

wearing pastel clothes, being a bit vacuous and having a unicorn quirk did not make you weak. it didn't make you less of a person, less of a guy, or less of a hero, and it was great to finally be treated that way with nobody trying to take it easy on you out of any pity.

your 1a peers weren't going to hold back and neither were your teachers. after the first two months of school, as the class started becoming better acquainted, compliments started rolling in more often. they were commonly shared amongst everyone with genuine and vibrant admiration for the diverse skillsets amongst the group, but what was rare was for them to come from aizawa.

it wasn't that he couldn't tell someone when they were doing well, but he hardly ever left it at that. it wasn't a bad trait, really; his ability to maintain a professional front despite caring so deeply about his students in order to provide the best feedback possible was an asset to the school staff. in the same way it drove everyone towards progress, though, it left many yearning for more assurances. however asking for it was going to be seen as selfish or needy regardless of who it came from.

it's still school, after all.

but this is why, 4 months in, when aizawa compliments you, genuinely compliments you, you finally get that improvement in self image that pushes you to stand up for yourself.

"now, [last name]. their focus on getting to the target never made him lose focus of damage control. he supported mina when necessary and kept open communication to allow her to do the same for them. that's what a good teammate is supposed to do with any hero they're working with. adapting to a situation includes adapting to who you're working with. he made sure they stayed on track even when facing massive interruptions in plans."

and he moved on. three days later, you confronted your "friends" and decided you weren't going to take any shit about your career choices.

OK AS FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIPS W GROUPS IN THE CLASS-

deku won't outright ask you to do it, but it's clear he's curious and you're more than happy to help him with his notes. it's not everyday you have a friend that's so genuinely interested in your abilities. (basically you test how fast you can purify water and he figures out how to calculate how that'd translate to your ability to purify toxins in people based on previous trainings and he uses that in order to-)

as mentioned earlier, bakugou doesn't mind you. todoroki doesn't either. they're not closest to you, and same goes with iida, jirou, sero, and momo, but it's moreso a difference in interest over anything. none of you are just very close and thats all good! you still care about each other and respect each other v much.

KAMI AND KIRI ARE ALSO HIMBOS AND YOU THREE HAVE SUCH DIFFERENT AESTHETICS THAT HONESTLY NOBODY EXPECTED YOU ALL TO BE SO CLOSE BUT YK SLAY

after hanging out in the dorms, you end up with black nail polish, kami ends up with pastel nails, and kiri ends up with a mix of vibrant red and pastel red that he honestly does not mind. you and kami also make fun of his croc obsession, all in good fun, but then kiri makes fun of your obsessions with sticking to your aesthetics and yall are 😶 /lh

you were honestly scared that uraraka, mina, and asui would femenize you because of your aesthetic + your quirk. you were scared of others doing it as well, but for some reason especially nervous about their reaction, especially after telling them your pronouns,, BUT THEY RESPECT YOU ON ANOTHER LEVEL OK? 👹 and when mina told you they go by she/they, everything was honestly great. you all get alone very well and often times help each other find clothes (you insist on helping uraraka pay for new clothes).

you're not that close to the other girls of the class, but that isn't to say you dont get along!

the same goes with teachers, really, though mic often times asks about something you're wearing, whether it's a bracelet, necklace, or even the nail polish. you notice sometimes that layer in the week, either him or shinsou is wearing something identical or near the same to what he asked about.

its become somewhat of a habit now, you staying two minutes late to trade information about where you get accessories.

but yes. overall it's a good time. you keep learning, not just about the prohero field, but about your value. you have a place in the world, in prohero agencies, in UA, in 1a. and nobody is ever gonna be able to take that from you. you're truly 1 in a million.

#x male reader #xmale!readerblog #nonbinary #x nonbinary reader #trans reader #x trans reader #mha x reader #x class 1a #my hero academia #chat with me lovelies #bnha #fanfic #boku no hero academia #he/they #mha #read with me lovelies

[parcequecestnotreprojeeeet]

Hi, it’s me, Fanfic Anon #2. This is inspired by her 12 coups de midi appearance. She said not to read anything into her song choice other than she likes it, but … Hope you all enjoy!

He let a huge sigh of relief as he stepped through the door to their apartment as he felt the heavy weight of the day slowly slip off his shoulders as he entered their sanctuary. He was home - he was safe and loved here, whole here, himself here.

He could hear her in the kitchen, could hear the movement of pots and pans banging together, muffled a little by the melody he could hear playing from the speakers she had set up in there to allow her to listen to music while she worked. He smiled as he got closer to the kitchen and was able to identify the song - "Je suis venu te dire que je m'en vais." She loves that song, he knows, knows how much she loves poetry, in books, in his letters, in music.

He stopped in the doorway to watch her work, watching as she waltzed to and from the fridge to the stove to the countertop where she had prepped out their ingredients and back again, looking like a master at work. He also wasn’t embarrassed to admit, as he was staring at her barefoot and in a very tight pair of jeans, he was enjoying the show.

He stepped back into the next room to make his entrance again, loudly so as not to startle her.

"Chérie! I’m home!" he called out.

"Dinner’s almost ready!" she called back. "Come grab yourself a glass of wine, and sit down at the table to wait for me."

"Or," he said slipping in behind her and wrapping an arm around her waist, "I could wait here with you until you’re done."

"Dinner is going to be late if you keep doing that," she warned, not really protesting, as she leant back into him.

"That’s okay. I’m not really hungry, for dinner, right now anyway," he whispered in her ear before pressing a kiss to that one place on her neck that makes her knees weak.

"I need," she tried to get out as he kept up his ministrations, "to turn the stove off."

He reached around her and turned off the flame, "done," he told her grabbing her hand and pulling her out of the kitchen.

Later, much later, when they’re both finally able to think straight again, he dared to reveal, "you know, when I first walked in, I could hear what you were listening to, so I took a sneak peek of you in the kitchen."

"You sneaky man!" she lightly smacked him in rebuke.

He places an appeasing kiss to the top of her head. "I like watching you when you think no one is around. I mean I always like watching you, but there’s something so beautiful about you when all your walls are down and you just simply let yourself be."

"You think I have walls up around you?" she asked both concerned and a little offended.

"No. But I know this job comes with stress and responsibilities for you too, and, well. It’s been a while since I was able to watch you sing and dance barefoot in our kitchen," he smiled weakly.

"Emmanuel, you have seen every single piece of me, at my best, at my worst. The deep, dark corners of my mind, the glowing joys in the corners of my heart. Every fear, every doubt, every wish, every hope, every dream. You hold my soul, bare and completely open before you in your hands. As I see it, there is no distance, no wall, nothing between you and me."

"So you’re not going to come one day and tell me that you’re leaving me?"

"Chéri, what brought this on? Is it that song?"

"Yes. No. I don’t know!" he paused before asking, "Are you happy?"

"You are asking me that after what we just did?" she teased, making him blush pink. More seriously, she turned over in his arms to look him in the eyes as she gave him an answer she hoped would quiet whatever part of his soul was worried. "Yes, I’m happy. Sure, I never would have seen this coming in a million years, and sure, I would have preferred just one term. But for over 25 years now, you have taken me on the best, most unpredictable journey. You have given me my life. So of course, where you lead I will follow, happily, lovingly. Forever.

"I will never come to tell you I’m leaving, because I am never, ever leaving you. And if you ever doubt that, I want you to look down at your hands. Those two rings are perfect circles, they have no beginning and no end. Just like you and me."

Helloooo fanfic Anon #2! ❤️

Hahaha after the interview, Brigitte cooking seems to be the new trend 🤩 (still waiting for messy Manu in the kitchen too hahaha).

Manu watching her is just one of the most beautiful sights ever 🥰 hahaha and of course he just couldn’t help himself and want “dessert” before dinner 🤭😏 🔥

But bless him for having doubts (and fears) over the song and it’s meaning... Brigitte reassuring him was so beautiful and touchy 🥹🥰

Thank you so much, fanfic Anon #2! ❤️❤️❤️

#fanfic #fanfic anon 2

[astradis]

omg can i please request a stranger things matchup??? you’re writing style is so pretty <333

and could it please be one of the fruity four???

my name is florence but most people call me flo or other nicknames. i’m a tanned 5’4 slim girl with long curly gold hair that i typically hold off my face with a ballet pink coloured ribbon. i have eyes that are constantly switching between blue, green and grey. my face is littered with freckles but i don’t have a lot on my body. i’m bisexual.

i’m extremely physically affectionate. my friends irl will tell anyone that because i’m nearly always holding their hands or looping my arms with theirs. i also get told that my personality reminds people of miss honey or cinderella. so i guess that means i’m pretty soft spoken and kind. i’m very quiet when i first meet people but once they probably know me i can ramble for ages about my hyper-fixations.i can be kinda naive but only because i always wanna see the good in people!!! i don’t really get angry or when i am angry i just end up crying.

i really love classic literature and vintage books!!! along with vintage movies (especially audrey hepburn movies, i’m literally obsessed with her) i love alternative music from the 80s. think the smiths, blondie, echo and the bunnymen. but also i thrive listening to vintage love songs. i dress in a very typically feminine way with ditsy floral patterns and lace being a staple in my wardrobe. i love pressed flowers and journaling.

ok i think i’ve rambled about myself enough. but seriously thank you so, so much for doing this it really means a lot to me!!! <333

YOU ARE ONE OF THE SWEETEST SOULS I WILL PROBABLT EVER INTERCAT WITH ON THIS APP. I LOV EYOU FLO 😭

you know who else would love you too?

NANCY WHEELER

you and nance would have such an adorable romance. you know how i imagine it’d go? nancy has probably thought of herself as straight for a while. she knew she thought girls were pretty, but she felt something change in her the moment she laid eyes on you. it was like the attraction she’d felt toward steve, but… more? she felt the need to be by you all the time as soon as you two had your first conversation. she chalked it up as she now had a friendship she could equate to barb, but it was almost like it was more than that. with nancy, there’s a lot of realizing it’s more than platonic. it’s more than just, ‘florence is the most gorgeous girl i’ve ever seen.’ it is definitely more than ‘i’d probably kiss her if she was a guy.’ she would kiss you how you are now, and that’s what set off her crush for good.

you two would be the cutest couple. nancy would be a lot more in her masculine when she’s around you. she feels a need to protect- even though she knows you can protect yourself. your dates would consist of making your way to fields and putting flowers in each other’s hair and proceeding to roll down hills together and kiss at the bottom. you two would hold hands as much as you could, admiring the paint that adorned your nails that was put there by the other. you knew your relationship couldn’t be public for a while, but you wanted to love her just the same. you wanted to love her like your love was normal, as did she.

-

Nancy pulls you by the hand, her skirt flowing behind her as she rushes up a hill with you trying your best to catch up.

“What’s the rush, Nance?” You ask, a giggle leaving your lips as she looks back at you with a raised eyebrow.

“‘What’s the rush, Nance?’ More like, where’s the pep in your step, Flower?” There goes the sweet nickname you came to love, making your heart skip a beat and your face flush.

The stars above you twinkled brightly, lighting the path up to the highest hill in Hawkins, Indiana. Before you was the bird’s eye view of the carnival below, and you suddenly realized why you two were here.

“The fireworks?” You asked bashfully, your hand squeezing hera a bit more tightly now understanding aforementioned rush. “Nance, how did- But, didn’t the others want to watch them all together?”

“Flower…” She started. “We have the rest of our lives to spend with those dorks. We don’t know how long we both have… I want to love you now. Not later, never ever later.”

As you smiled and she pulled you in for a kiss, the first firework lit the sky.

#nancy wheeler #nancy stranger things #stranger things #stranger things x reader #nancy wheeler x reader #nancy wheeler matchup

[queen-boudicca]

Next up in the nuwho rewatch, the end of the world!

I've also decided to add two things to each post: whether the episode passes the bechdel test (in anticipation of the moffat era bc I'm petty) and whether it makes me cry. For this episode:

Bechdel test pass: yes

Makes me cry: no (but almost though)

The end of the world

"I know exactly where to go" *takes her to the destruction of her planet* good job nine

"You lot. You spend all your time thinking about dying. Like you're gonna get killed by eggs or beef or global warming or asteroids. But you never take time to imagine the impossible. That maybe you survive" help

The music is so beautiful help

This one has some bits a little like Martha's theme

"Mind you, when i say 'the great and good', what i mean is the rich" ily so much nine

Jabe!! I love her

The adherents of the repeated meme [insert ah bit like you then]

"I give you, in return, air from my lungs" he's so smooth omg

"Ladies and gentlemen and trees and multiforms" the four genders

'The Arctic desert' — is that a commentary on global warming or Cassandra being a liar

If there were only a few songs that survived the destruction of the earth and were what people remembered us by, tainted love and toxic are pretty good bops I'm not complaining

God the way they introduced the time war and destruction of gallifrey are so fucking good

Nine's offhand mention of fighting in the war in the previous episode, the way jabe scans for his species and doesn't believe it, etc

It's so well done!!

The way Rose doesn't talk at all to any of the fancy rich people at the party but happily (and more comfortably) strikes up conversation with the workers she meets on the station!! Such good characterization you love to see it

She asks Raffalo for her name immediately and emotionally opens up to her

"Thank you for the permission. Not many people are that considerate" they really said fuck the rich

Rip my girl, Raffalo. You were super sweet and i miss you

"They're just so alien! The aliens are so alien. You look at them... and they're alien" ily rose

And he's like evading her questions about who he is and where he's from and when she doesn't stop he gets angry and ugh his arc is so good

And she can tell it's a sore topic for him so she breaks the tension w a joke

They're so good for each other

ROSE'S THEME MY BELOVED

Love how there's a button on his keyboard that lowers the sun filter and instakills anyone inside

Maybe they shouldn't have added that when they did the designs

Jabe and nine besties

I want an au where she and Raffalo survived and traveled with nine and rose and are their respective besties

Not sure I'm a big fan of the implications that cosmetic surgery makes you less human/real

"I just wanted to say how sorry i am" and she's touching his arm and comforting him and aagh the tears in his eyes and he's touching her hand too and WE COULD HAVE HAD IT ALL RTD WHY DID SHE HAVE TO DIE i know why it's bc (a) he would've invited her to come with and they didn't wanna deal w that (b) we needed the first person we see comfort him to die saving him bc he's not allowed to be happy and neither am i

Seriously though they've been really good this episode about making you care about the minor characters that die (i mean most of them. Not very torn up about the steward)

TOXIC

Such a bop

That's why they had such bad special effects; they blew all their budget on song rights

I mean the heat in the room would've killed her way before the direct beam of sunlight would've but oh well

The spider robots are really kinda cute shame they're evil

Really polite of her to monologue her entire plan

Great design, putting the important switch on the other side of all the fan blades

Nine baby if you hadn't argued with her and just ran there probably would've been time

DON'T TURN AROUND AND LOOK AT HER JUST GO

oh damn rip the moxx of balhoun ig

JABE NO

Nine's theme my beloved

Wow the earth kinda looked like an eye while it was exploding

Angry nine is so good i love it

The definition of people is a technicality the courts will argue over? Oh please

First of all they're not even speaking English and there's way the doctor would've used a word that didn't mean like sapient beings or some shit

Also c'mon like there aren't laws against killing sentient beings by the year 5 billion regardless of what word you use

Rose's theme again my beloved

"You think it'll last forever. People and cars and concrete. But it won't. One day, it's all gone. Even the sky." I'm fine

Nine's theme again my beloved

I'm beginning to think they didn't have that much music composed for this

Next up, ghosts and Charles Dickens and Gwen's great great great grandmother!

#nuwhorewatch #ninth doctor #the end of the world #doctor who

[k1nky-fool]

Switchblades my beloveds - 10 (can be a pair or all), 20, 29, 32, 51, 52, 57

Mita and Pepper i lov them so much - 2, 7 the answer better be yes :(, 20, 30, 44, 60

Devo and dead twink walking - 2, 7, 20, 42, 49, 55, 60

Also that polycule you and Puffer got going on I don't know you know the one - 7, 13 between Rosie and Eddie, 20, 27 (funny), 29, 48, 57, 60

And extra questions that can be used (they do not have to be but if you want to use them you can because you said i could)

They walk in to their favorite meal on the table made by their partner(s)! How do they respond?

What's their favorite "cancelled" media to consume? (Bad content creators, music, etc)

A Tumblr or Twitter post they would make

This isn't a question I just ur great :)

I gotchu bro

10.Describe their first date.

Well, Maeko and Kugo took Kazu to an amusement park and they call that their first date, but with Ahmya, the three of them went out to a cute dinner and only got into one fight at the beach. A fan of Kugo's wouldn't leave him alone, and Ahmya was the one to size him up and try fighting him. It was kind of like watching a chihuahua scare off a much larger dog. Kugo didn't stop her, but it's what impressed Maeko most since their first meeting.

20.Choose one song that perfectly describes their relationship.

Bang by AJR

29.Who is more likely to jump in an elevator? Who freaks out?

Kugo is the most likely to jump, just because he knows it freaks the fuck out of Maeko.

32.Who's the better storyteller?

Maeko by default, only because Ahmya says very alarming things in passing, and Kugo often forgets key parts of the story and has to backtrack.

51.What’s a non verbal way they say I love you?

Maeko really only jokes with people she loves, so any amount of humor from her is a silent 'I love you.' She also gives love in the form of teaching skills or giving information, even if it's just gossip or how her day was.

Kugo is very protective of the people he loves. In general he likes to have his wives in his line of sight or even better, he likes to have physical contact. Usually holding their hand or an arm around their shoulder or waist.

Ahmya cooks as a love language. If Ahmya brings food, she's either trying to say she loves you, or trying to poison you. It's a toss up, but for her spouses, she just wants to let them know she loves them very much.

52.Describe their weekend getaway?

You, you, me gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course!

In all seriousness, a weekend getaway is stressful to set up. Finding someone to babysit the kids, finding a place to go, and being able to either check in on the kids, or someone they all trust enough to handle things on their own is all difficult.

If they manage though, a cruise ship would be heaven for these three. A long weekend on the ocean is peaceful for Kugo, Ahmya enjoys the atmosphere and probably the alcohol, and Maeko can't get enough of the food.

57.Whose the serious one when grocery shopping and who likes to toss random things in the cart?

As much as you'd expect Kugo to be the one taking the lead here, it's actually Maeko. Ahmya is everywhere and she goes missing for a little, only to come back with her arms full of her favorite snacks and obscure ingredients that caught her eye. Kugo could eat his weight in seafood, and Maeko has to stop him from buying everything in the refrigerators and freezers. Maeko brought her list, and while she's willing to compromise on some things and grab a few new things to try, it's like herding cats with her spouses at a grocery store.

Mita and Pepper

2.What would they do if the other woke in a manic state after a nightmare?

Pepper was warned before they ever started sleeping in the same bed that this was a possibility for Mita. She was well prepared with a soft voice and welcoming arms. Mita's gotten better about calming down over the years, but sometimes it's not so easy. Her time as the four-eyed creature is not as common of a nightmare topic these days, and while losing Vander hurt, in the last ten years, she's been coping with it as well as she can be.

Now her nightmares are about Ekko, Sketch, Scar, or even Pepper being hurt. But Pepper is always ready to listen and care for Mita. There's a certain softness to Pepper that very few people get to see.

Pepper also has nightmares, but Mita has learned that it's better to give a comforting touch before saying anything. The sense brings Pepper back to reality and it takes very little time for her to hide herself in Mita's hold. Her nightmares tend to come from times she felt weak and scared, so having someone there to help her feel protected is valuable to her. She usually doesn't talk about it, but that's because it's usually the same every time. She'll fall back to sleep resting on Mita's chest.

7.Would they build a pillow fort together just because?

They wouldn't come up with the idea themselves, that's for sure. While Mita and Pepper are not the type to build a pillow fort, Ekko and Sketch are, even well into their adulthood. If they're invited, Mita and Pepper will join their kids in their pillow fort journey.

20.Choose one song that perfectly describes their relationship.

Raise Hell by Brandi Carlile

Both of them have this energy ngl.

42.What's their favorite type of weather to enjoy together? (getting snowed in together, watching thunderstorms, etc.)

Springtime storms are their favorite.

49.Does either of them have a hard time being away from the other?

Both Mita and Pepper are pretty good being independent, but if they haven't seen each other in a second for reasons outside their control, it's bound to make fuses short.

55.Do they like watching clouds or star gazing?

Once upon a time Devo gave Mita a crash course on a few stars and how to spot some cool stuff in the night sky. Mita absolutely loves pointing them out to Pepper now.

60.Who pulls the other closer when they’re sleeping?

Occasionally, when Mita is asleep, she'll accidentally reduce Pepper to a convenient teddy bear. The amount of times that Pepper has woken up with Mita hugging her for dear life should be alarming, but Pepper just finds it endearing.

Create Your Own! - They walk in to their favorite meal on the table made by their partner! How do they respond?

I think I've mentioned before that Mita can't cook, but Pepper has some food that can knock her out in five minutes. If Mita were to come home to Pepper having some food for her, it would be a slice of heaven. Pepper's getting whatever she wants for the next week.

Devo and Viktor

2.What would they do if the other woke in a manic state after a nightmare?

When Devo wakes up from a nightmare in a manic state, she tends to have a habit of just leaving the room before she can get her bearings. Most of the time she'll come back after a few minutes and she'll just cuddle up to Viktor to get to sleep.

On really bad nights, she'll just sit on the couch, trying to deal with it alone. It doesn't take Viktor long to realize she's not in bed, and he'll go find her out there. By then, it's usually a lost cause for her to try getting back to sleep, so Viktor will just make some tea and stay with her until she's alright. Viktor also has plenty of distractions, but the easiest one is getting Devo on an astronomy rant, or they'll start working out some hextech problem together. Admittedly, Devo is lost on the engineering part of it, but she has some occasional insight.

Viktor is less prone to nightmares, but it's not like he's never had them. Growing up in the undercity in general is going to have some lasting effects on one's sleep schedule. A common visions of his nightmares are his disease taking his life and leaving Devo and Jayce alone and occasionally Rio. He knows he shouldn't compare trauma, but he doesn't feel like he's allowed to complain to Devo about it when he knows she's seen much worse days than he has.

Devo shuts that train of thought down before it leaves the station. She knows he's comforted by touch, and talking it out helps him get back to sleep. Devo feels like he has more than enough to be scared of, and that he handles it better than she ever could. Viktor usually falls asleep again in her arms.

7. Would they build a pillow fort together just because?

Yes, and they don't care that it's impractical. It's gonna be cozy as fuck.

20.Choose one song that perfectly describes their relationship.

Curses by The Crane Wives

42.What's their favorite type of weather to enjoy together? (getting snowed in together, watching thunderstorms, etc.)

While Devo and Viktor both have some level of disdain for thunder and lightning, heavy rain can be appreciated by them. It means Devo has to take a night off anyway, and usually Viktor comes home early on rainy days, but this is usually the cause of a very cozy night in.

49.Does either of them have a hard time being away from the other?

I know it doesn't sound super romantic, but both of them are pretty good on their own, and sometimes it's even preferable. That doesn't mean they hate being around each other, but both of them are very passionate about their work.

55.Do they like watching clouds or star gazing?

When most people mention cloud watching or star gazing, they mean it as just a relaxing activity that isn't usually supposed to have a function.

But Devo is an astronomer so of course she's going to take this very seriously. But remember how I said she'd often hang around the Hextech lab just to keep Viktor company without really doing anything together? Well, Viktor does that too, but the logistics of stargazing make it possible for him to participate with her. She'll ramble about what she's doing and observing, and she'll also show Viktor and explain in detail what he's looking at.

I don't know if I'd say it's relaxing, but it's more like a date that's more focused on Devo.

60.Who pulls the other closer when they’re sleeping?

I understand the urge for writers to say Viktor is a warm bedmate. However I fully believe that this man is made of actual ice. Devo is a furnace, and it's always Viktor reaching out for her when he's sleeping

Create Your Own! - A Tumblr or Twitter post they would make.

Devoan: I've come to make an announcement Marcus The Sheriff's a bitch ass motherfucker, he pissed on my fucking wife. Thats right, he took his Enforcer quilly dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife, and he said his dick was "This big" and I said that's disgusting, so I'm making a callout post om my Twitter, Marcus the Sheriff, you've got a small dick, it's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller, and geuss what? Here's what my dong looks like: PFFFT, THAT'S RIGHT, BABY. ALL POINTS, NO QUILLS, NO PILLOWS. Look at that, it's like two balls and a bong. I fucked my wife so guess what? I'm gonna fuck the Earth. THAT'S RIGHT THIS IS WHAT YOU GET, MY SUPER LASER PISS! Except I'm not gonna piss on the earth. I'm gonna go higher. I'M PISSING ON THE MOON! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, HEIMERDINGER? I PISSED ON THE MOON YOU IDIOT! YOU HAVE 23 HOURS BEFORE THE PISS DROPLETS HIT THE FUCKING EARTH NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT BEFORE I PISS ON YOU TOO.

anonymous asked: do you think ghost hunting is ableist?

Viktor: AGAINST WHO M? T HE GHOSTS??!?

The Babysitter Squad (Rosie Calhoun, Eddie Munson, Viola Anderson, Steve Harrington)

Note: while I do have stories planned for Rosie x Eddie, as well as Viola x Steve, the Babysitter Squad is mostly a playground that I mess around with alongside a good friend of mine. I don't have plans to write the polycule as a full story, but I could be convinced to write it into my set stories or separate stories depending on how the first two go.

7.Would they build a pillow fort together just because?

Yes, but Steve would be the one saying it's childish the whole time, but still happily participating.

13.Who’s the bigger tease? (Between Eddie and Rosie)

Eddie by default because as big as Rosie talks, she can't tell Eddie no to save her life.

20.Choose one song that perfectly describes their relationship.

The name of the upcoming fic is a song title, so it'd have to be Save Our Souls by Mötley Crüe.

27.Who is the light weight that needs to be taken care of after a party?

Viola has the alcohol tolerance of a small dog, and she starts stealing things. Not that she intends to steal things, she just keeps picking shit up because it looks interesting and she forgets that she's holding it. She also gets very brave and will climb anywhere that doesn't have barbed wire protection. The amount of times that Steve and Eddie have found her in a tree or on a roof has got to mean something.

29.Who is more likely to jump in an elevator? Who freaks out?

Eddie jumps, it scares the shit out of Steve. (Elevators and Steve are not friends).

48.Who's the better driver?

Rosie is the best driver in the sense that her skills are unmatched, not necessarily in the sense that she follows traffic laws. She has active methods and plans that go into effect the second she sees police lights behind her, and she hasn't gotten a ticket for anything in the last five years despite being a menace to cops on traffic duty. You choose her as your getaway driver, not if you want your son to get to school on time. Unless you're ok with her teaching him a thing or two about disrespecting law enforcement.

If you're looking for road safety, ask Steve.

57.Whose the serious one when grocery shopping and who likes to toss random things in the cart?

Steve is the most serious, Eddie is the least serious. Viola and Rosie fall somewhere between them.

Steve brought a list and will grab a few things for everyone to try. Viola has very specific tastes, but her autism makes it fun for everyone to see how she reacts to certain new things. Rosie doesn't bring a list, and will forget half the shit she needed and she'll also grab a few extra things that catch her interest. Eddie should never go to a grocery store alone if you actually need something. Eddie will come back with so much junk food, but this also means he's the perfect person to send for late night snack runs.

60.Who pulls the other closer when they’re sleeping?

Everybody wants to cuddle Rosie. Steve is a close second, but Rosie just has a certain softness that's like crack to everyone else. The bed situation for them is usually a pairing up situation, but they'll switch around depending on how they're feeling that night. They have been known to fight about who gets to cuddle Rosie, and she'll usually have to break it up by choosing someone based on a rotating schedule she keeps in mind. Any time they fight, she'll just choose the next person in the rotation.

Create Your Own! - What's their favorite "cancelled" media to consume? (Bad content creators, music, etc.)

I'm going with modern!au because I can't be bothered to research problematic media from the 70s and 80s for this.

Viola - She watches those god awful animes from the early 2000s because she thinks they're so bad that they loop back around to being funny. Something about a terrible reverse harem can be very entertaining.

Eddie - You can't tell me this man did not read Twilight and you especially can't tell me he didn't enjoy it to a certain degree. He does rant about how awful the majority of it is, but there are some things he defends to a little too much to be considered normal. Stuff like the sparkling, seems to have resonated with him in a strange way.

Rosie - Consider that she wouldn't watch old cancelled youtubers, but she would watch those 1-2 hour long video essays that deep dive the whole story. She never even vaguely liked prank channels, but she will watch jaubry go into extreme detail on the rise and fall of the daddy-o-five channel.

Steve - Even in a modern!au, Steve can't get enough of dramatic and/or romantic movies. Like, he knows Heathers is supposed to be a satire on the old high school romance trope, but it's a damn good story, and he wouldn't ever date someone like JD, but he can admit out loud the social outcast is a hot look while he's avoiding eye contact with Eddie.

#arcane oc #arcane fanfic #viktor x oc #viktor x devoan #oc x oc ship #pepper x mita #switchblades #kugo sakamata x oc #kugo x maeko #kugo x ahmya #maeko x ahmya #babysitter squad #steve harrington x oc #eddie munson x oc #stevia #steddie #reddie #flower powers #roste #stress mess

[himbolesbian-archive]

tagged by @ammewnition !! thank u so much i love doing these kinds of things

rules: spell out your URL using song titles and tag as many people as there are letters in your URL !

h - hate rain on me - ajj

i - i will never forget - kimya dawson

m - motion in the ocean - nana grizol

b - beers again alone - jeff rosenstock

o - overpassings - french quarter

l - land locked blues - bright eyes

e - even winning feels bad - bomb the music industry!

s - sad pony guerrilla girl - xiu xiu

b - brand new city - mitski 

i - i am a baby (in my universe) - daniel johnston

a - all these nights - antarctigo vespucci

n - now that im at the top of my game - ajj

i tried to make this as on brand as possible, i hope it still has flow too but i didnt listen to the whole songs one after another so idk. also if u listen to all of these i love u but pls listen to overpassings and land locked blues if nothing else. and im sorry my url is rly long so i gotta tag a bunch of u :pensive:

@hydrangeapng @dykespacenine @succubused @lesbinya @azaleatwn @busridetohell @botticellibutch @wotsukai @woodfrogs @himboholhorse @diavop and @theaminugovernment !! if u want me to untag u just lemme know and i will

#tag games #long post #music #seriously i lov all these songs so much

[that-september-in-the-rain]

September in the Rain | George Weasley

notes: George Weasley x genderneutral!reader, fluff, friends to lovers, set in ootp, inspired by the song September in the Rain by Dinah Washington, the bold are the lyrics to the song

The leaves of brown

Came tumbling down,

Remember

In September in the rain

Autumn was always a beautiful season, the lush green leaves changing colours to vibrant oranges and reds, then falling to ground, to prepare their trees for the harsh winter. Autumn was an even more beautiful season when you could spend it with, or staring at, the person you’re in love with, it makes the colours of the leaves seem brighter, the temperature drop becomes more bearable, and the rains that come and go make you fantasize about kissing them in it. The person that unintentionally made your world lively was George Weasley, your best friend since first year, when you met him and his twin on the train, and you quickly fell in love with George, with the way he laughs at his own jokes, with the way his smile grows when he gets a letter from his mum, with the way his eyes light up when he talks about opening up a joke shop with Fred, with every single little thing he does.

 You were sitting under a tree, trying to do some school work, ignoring the light rain coming down, but it became difficult to read the book Professor Umbridge gave your class, when all you could think about was George. So caught up in your thoughts, you didn’t notice him coming up to you. “You’re not actually reading Umbridge’s book, are you?,” George’s voice scared you out of your thoughts, “merlin Georgie, you scared me,” you said as closed your eyes and clutched your chest, not noticing the way he blushed at the nickname. ”And yes, I am actually reading this book, after you told me what that woman did to you in detention I don’t want to risk getting in trouble with her.” You both grimaced at the memory of George meeting you in your common room, near tears and with a scarred hand, that’s something neither of you would ever forget. He sat down next to you and grabbed the book out of your hand. Then he threw it away. “I refuse to let you read that book,” George said as he sent you a wicked grin. ”George!” you shouted “That beldam will seriously kill me if I don’t do my homework,” you stood up to get the book when he grabbed your wrist and pulled you back down “Oh, no need to be so dramatic Y/N, you can just read it later,” you glared at him “Besides, I would never let her hurt you,” he spoke as he stared into your eyes, your face softened at that, “You don’t mean that” you said as you turned your face to look at the castle straight ahead, George put his hand on your cheek, guiding your face to look directly in his eyes “I absolutely do mean that, I lov-,” but he didn’t get to finish his sentence as strong autumn wind came by, blowing leaves off of the tree above the two of you, and both of you closed your eyes and waited for the wind to pass. After a couple seconds the wind stopped and you both opened your eyes, and started giggling like children at the amount leaves stuck in each others, slightly wet, hair.

The sun went out

Just like a dying ember

That September in the rain 

You two stayed under that tree, just enjoying each others presence, watching silently as the sun started to set. The rain had started to get a bit heavier but neither of you cared, you both wanted this moment to last for as long as possible. You had completely forgotten about George’s unfinished sentence, but he couldn’t stop thinking about it. He wanted to tell you so bad how much he loved you, how much he wanted to be with you, and he had finally plucked up courage to do so, especially after Fred threatened to tell you himself if George didn’t say something soon, but then the wind stopped him, he almost thought that was the universe telling him that you’ll reject him and never speak to him again, and thought of you never speaking to him again nearly killed him on the spot, he couldn’t lose you , that was the reason he hadn’t said anything sooner, but Fred had told him that you definitely felt the same. “What’re you thinking about?” you asked, “Nothing, I’m just enjoying the sunset,” he lied, it’s not like he could say that he was thinking about how madly in love he is with you, he hoped you’d believe it but you didn’t look convinced “What makes you think I’m thinking about something?” “Because you’re making that face,” “What face?” “The face you make when you’re thinking about something,” George scoffed at that “How would you know what face I was making? Were you staring at me?” he started grinning, It was your turn to scoff now, you absolutely were staring at him, but you weren’t going to admit that “I was not, I just took glance in your direction and noticed your face,” “Oh yeah, totally.” You shoved his arm as you spoke “Oh just shut up Georgie,” and he did shut up, not because you told him to, but because he wouldn’t have been able to form a sentence after you called him ‘Georgie’. You went back to sitting in silence as you watched the sun gracefully go down, as you watched the sky slowly turned from the bright orange and peachy pink, to a calming blue and purple, then you watched as the clouds started to cover more, and more of the sky, and started to turn into darker greys.

To every word of love

I heard you whisper

The raindrops seemed to play

A sweet refrain

There was a bright flash of lightning followed by a loud boom of thunder, signifying the heavy rain about to come, you both looked up at the sky and then the rain started bucketing down, cold drops of water enveloped the both of you, George realised that you might catch a cold if you stay out here, so he grabbed your hand as he stood up, pulling you up with him, ”What’re you doing?” you shouted to him, “Getting you inside so you won’t get sick,” he yelled over his shoulder. You got halfway towards the castle when you stopped him as you remembered something, “George, I need to back get my book!” He turned around to face you when he started laughing, “You stopped us from getting to shelter just so could read a book? You are one of a kind Y/N’” he said as he smiled, took a step closer to you and put his hand on your cheek. Neither of you realised that you were both slowly leaning in until your noses touched, “I know” you said through a giggle as you put your hands on the back of neck and he put his other hand on your waist, you looked down to his lips covered in rain drops then looked up into his eyes, and he did the same thing to you. “Can I kiss you?” George said softly, “Yes” you replied barely above a whisper, but he still heard you and closed the small gap between your lips. He was a beautiful kisser, and had the softest lips you’ve ever felt. You could hardly believe that you actually kissing George Weasley, the person you were in love with ever since you were 11, and that he wanted to kiss you just as much as you wanted to kiss him. You both eventually pulled apart to breathe and when you did you rested your forehead against his. “Y/N, I love you so much,” he whispered to you as the repetitive sound of the rain comforted you, and the coolness of it keeping your face from heating up, “I love you too, Georgie,” you whispered back.

Though spring is here,

To me it’s still September

The school year was nearly over, with only about a month left, and you couldn’t be more excited for the year to end, your boyfriend George wouldn’t be graduating with you as he and Fred dropped out of school a while ago and you missed him a lot, but it was a Hogsmeade weekend, so you and George decided to meet at The Three Broomsticks to catch up, as you did every opportunity you got, and that’s why you were sitting in a booth next to your boyfriend giggling at some stupid joke he made. You both stared at each other with bright smiles on your faces, when George put his hand on your cheek and leaned in to kiss you, and it reminded you of that beautiful night in autumn when you first kissed and confessed your feelings to each other. “You know, Georgie, you still owe me a book.”

That September in the rain

#george weasley fanfiction #george wealsey x reader #george weasley #george weasley x y/n #george weasley x you #george wealsey imagine #george weasley imagines #fred weasley #harry potter #harry potter fanfiction #george weasley fluff #fanfic #fanfiction

[waybrights]

sats au

this is kinda inspired by @tr0yb0lt0n0ffici4l social media au

so basically sasha was craving thai food

anne didn’t want to cook

so logically sash contacted anne’s parents

cause what else would she do ? she wants thai food DUHH

and they…just..came ?? and started cooking ??

(with sash and marcy helping around the kitchen of course ! )

marcy : don’t forget to add seasoning lol

sasha : don’t forget to burn the kitchen down

marcy :

they also kinda neglected anne lol

it didn’t bother anne tho cause why would she care that her two lov-BEST FRIENDS

would rather hang out with her parents or that her OWN parents like to talk to her friends more

she’s not jealous !!! she’s NOT !! seriously !!

not. totally. jealous. 

i just think those two would really love anne’s parents

given their (not so very good ) relationship with their own

anyways the boonchuys ended up spending the whole day there

and later that night while they’re all chilling in the living room sash just,,,brought a guitar ?? out of no where ??? and started singing ???? to anne’s parents??? (marcy joined in too lol )

anne internally: wtf is going on,,,y’all seein-what the f- huh??

basically sasha (and marcy ) kinda dedicated a song to them

titled : boonchuy (yeah not the most creative)

with lyrics like :

i didn’t like being 13

but i’d be 13 again

if it means

i’d get to hang out

at your restaurant

each day after school

you cooked my favorite food

you knew all of my interests

you asked about me

and not all the other stuff

you hugged me so tight

i think this is what love is ?

it wasn’t a totally finished song ( more so a demo)

they ended up refining it later

even preformed it on stage !!

specifically the show her parents attended

and obviously anne knows about the song and it’s lyrics

she heard them practice it ton , for frog sake !

she however wasn’t aware of one specific lyric

they only included on their live performance

one that caught her off guard

“thanks for giving us anne ( boonchuy) “

the idea came to me a week ago and

i kinda wrote it while half asleep

if i didn’t stop myself i would’ve wrote a whole ass song LMAOSJSJSJ

anon... anon omg im a Wreck... this is such a cute hc!!!!

i 100% feel like sasha and marcy are super close to anne's parents because their parents both Suck. and writing a song for them is definitely a way for them to thank them for everything they've done!!!

and they only perform it live fully once for anne's parents... omg thats so sweet <333 i feel like it would be one of their more emotional songs, and sasha does cry when singing it (it's like one of the only times the fans have seen her cry).

anne being so confused through the whole saga, but going a long with it anyway >>>>>

(she also got choked up when sasha and marcy sung that line, like i feel like that's when she realised that even after everything, they love her sm and she loves them just as much)

#ANON THIS IS SUCH A CUTE IDEA!!!!!! #all because they wanted thai food <333 #but YES I SAW THAT POST TOO!!!! UGH MANY THOUGHTS!!!! #that au btw <3333 beloved <333 #anon #you ask i answer #sasha and the sharps au #amphibia #anne boonchuy #sasha waybright #marcy wu #marie.txt

[all-my-love-for-harry]

Make the day better.

summary: Y/N's son turns five and Harry doesn't know what to give him.

word count: 2.5k

Based on these requests:

"could you do artemis first bday with harry or christmas??"

and

"Love your writing. I have a request please, celebrating a birthday, could be Y/N, Harry or Artemis birthday"

and

"Can you do a blurb in the single mom series where Artemis is watching videos on YouTube but he sees harry in his 1d days and watches those vids and Artemis really likes and thinks one of the 1d boys are cool and stuff so harry does stuff to make Artemis happy, like maybe call that member or something? Sorry if it's trash I don't mind if you just throw it in the bin😂"

and

“I have an idea! For my shy little boy, could you do something about the moment that makes Harry realize he wants to keep y/n and Artemis forever and decides he’s going to marry her and hopefully adopt the little boy one day? Love your writing!!”

you can find more of my shy little boy here

a/n: saw these pictures and immediately thought about our little family. enjoy!

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞

December, 2018.

Artemis has discovered something new.

He has discovered old videos from Harry from when he was in the band. At first, he was confused as to why Harry wasn’t alone in the videos he watched like in the ones he was used to see. So Artemis did what always did when he was confused: ask.

Conveniently, Harry was invited to dinner at their house, and the first thing Artemis did when he crossed the door, was tell him. “Harry, I saw you on the TV!”

“You did? Did I look good?” He asked cheekily, sitting next to him on the sofa.

“Watch!” He turned on the television and pointed to it.

Harry chuckled when he saw his young self in the Best Song Ever music video along with the rest of his former band mates. “That’s you!” He said excitedly, clapping with his small hands.

“Yeah, buddy. I was in a band before.” Harry was happy Artemis seemed interested.

“What’s his name?” He asked, pointing one of the guys.

“The blonde one?” Harry questioned, receiving a nod from the small boy beside him. “That’s Niall.”

“He’s so cool.” He commented, kicking his legs back and forth on the couch. “He does music like you?” He asked.

“Yes, he does, mate.”

“He’s my favorite.” He decided.

“Oi! I am supposed to be your favorite!” He pretended to be offended, taking him in his arms and tickling him and making him let out a belly laugh.

“Stop! Stop!” He said in between giggles. “Harry, I’m gonna pee!”

“Say I’m your favorite.”

“You’re… you are… I can’t talk!” He laughed again and Harry stopped but didn’t let him go. “You’re my favorite, Harry.”  

Harry smiled, pleased with himself for getting the validation from an almost five year old. “Go wash up, it's almost dinner time." Artemis ran to the bathroom in the hallway as Harry walled towards the kitchen where Y/N was.

"I was a little behind but it's ready now."

"I'd help you, but you banned me from the kitchen the second i got in." The curly-haired man wrapped his hands from behind around Y/N's waist, resting his chin on her shoulder.

"It was because Artemis has been wanting to tell you he saw the band on the TV all afternoon." She giggled, putting the knife down and turning around to face him. "He asked why your hair looked weird."

"Wha'?" He asked, his accent getting noticeably thicker. "What was wrong with me hair?"

"He didn't like the long haired look." She passed a hand through his now much shorter curls.

"And apparently Niall's his favorite, can you believe?" Harry asked in a fake offended tone.

"Artemis likes blondes because he has blonde hair, kid's logic."

"Should i dye mine?" Harry's tone now was playful, grabbing a couple of his curls.

"Please, no."

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞

A week after dinner, Harry was scrolling down his phone desperately, trying to find the perfect gift for Artemis.

He had invited Harry to his birthday party, and although he was nervous to meet the rest of Y/N's relatives, he was more excited to spend this day with his girlfriend and her son. It would be the first time he was there to celebrate Artemis' birthday, so he wanted it to be perfect.

And a perfect day required the perfect gift.

He just didn't know what to buy. "Doesn't he like Legos? Buy him a set." Mitch said, trying to help. They were currently in a break from a writing session and almost everyone was out to get food.

"There isn't a set he doesn't have." Harry groaned, running out of options.

"What else does he like?"

"Books, robots, music..." He paused, suddenly getting an idea. "He likes music!"

"Buy him an instrument or something." Harry rolled his eyes, letting out a he's five to Mitch. "So?! Better start them young."

"Perhaps. But for now i think i have the perfect idea." Mitch looked confused, but Harry’s smile only grew bigger.

He wrapped up the session early and called a friend to see if they could catch up while having some drinks. His right leg shocked in anticipation, looking around trying to find that one familiar face he hasn’t seen in a while.

“Styles!” Harry smiled at that unmistakably Irish accent. “It’s been so long!” The pair hugged each other.

“Far too long. How have you been?” They took a seat on the table Harry was previously sitting on.

“Pretty great actually, tour ended a little while ago but stills feels very fresh.” He sighed. “What about you? Heard you’re dating someone.” Niall sent him a smirk, wiggling his eyebrows playfully.

Harry breathed a laugh, touching the bridge of his nose. “I am, met her at the beginning of the year. Her name is Y/N.”

“Look at you, you’re blushing!”

“Stop it!” Harry giggle, followed by Niall. “She has a kid, he’s great. They’re great.”

“I’m happy for you, H.” The blonde man gave him a genuine smile. “Is it serious?”

“Pretty much. So Artemis, Y/N’s son, is turning five next Saturday and I’ve been trying to get him the perfect gift.”

“Any luck so far?”

“Not really.” He shook his head. “That’s why I wanted to talk to you.”

“How can I help?” He readjusted himself on his seat.

“Well, I wanted to ask you a favor.” He paused. “The other day he found the band and said, for some reason, you were his favorite.”

“Ooh, and that how made you feel?” Niall teased him, knowing he didn’t like to be second in anything, especially talking about his girlfriend’s son.

“Delightful, next question.” He rolled his eyes playfully and Niall let out a big laugh.

“So want do you want me to do then?”

“Are you free next Saturday?”

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞

Niall's appearance was a surprise, even for Y/N. He'd arrive later than Harry, just in time to sing happy birthday to Artemis. In the meantime Harry had to make sure everything else was perfect.

He was in charge to pick the cake up from the shop before heading to Y/N's mums' house. He already knew Ally and Ella, and they seemed to really like him so he felt a little less nervous.

Y/N told him a bunch of her friends were gonna be there, including Adam and his family so that was also nice. Harry wasn't very familiar with all of her friends but from what she always tells him, they're good people who care for her and Artemis.

Harry didn't have a key or anything so he knocked the door with one hand while holding the cake with the other. Ella opened the door, grinning at him right away. "Harry! It's so good to see you, love."

"Likewise, Ella." The woman pinched Harry's cheeks before letting him in. "Where should I put this?"

"In the kitchen! There's kids running around and we don't want them to drop the cake."

He did what she said and walked towards the kitchen, finding Ally decorating some cupcakes. "What do you think?" She took one out of the plate and showed it to him.

"Looks great. You've been practicing with the fondant." The cupcakes had a little whale on top of them, made with blue fondant.

"I made turtles, whales, crabs... Oh! Look at this little octopus!" Ally was so excited every single decoration turned out perfect, as her designated was getting the pastries done. "Y/N's changing Artemis's clothes in the guest room if you want to go upstairs with them."

He nodded, heading out of the kitchen and taking a quick look to the backyard. There were some people sitting on tables and a couple of children running around, but no one he knew so he listened to Ally and went up to look for his loves.

He knocked the door and heard Y/N say 'come in!' so that's what he did. "Harry!" Artemis exclaimed, trying to run towards him but Y/N stopped him.

"Stay still, baby. I'm trying to tie your shoes." She was knelt down in front of him, putting his shoes on. “Hi, honey.” She looked up at Harry as he bent down to give her a little peck on her lips.

“How’s the birthday boy?” Harry sat next to him on the bed and wrapped his arms around him gently.

“Did you see everyone, Harry? They’re here for me!” He said excitedly. He might be say, but he sure as hell likes the attention of his loved ones.

Harry chuckled, messing up his hair a little. “Happy birthday, mate. Couldn’t wait until it was time to open the rest of the presents, so here’s mine.” He handed him a small box wrapped nicely with a bow on the top.

Artemis took it excitedly and was about to tear the wrapping paper apart but Y/N took his hand gently. “What do we say to Harry, darling?”

“Thank you, Harry!” Artemis threw himself at the older man. “Can I open it?”

“Of course, it’s yours.” Artemis offered him a toothy smile, opening the box. Inside there was a package of professional colors, there was one in every shade. “I know how much you like your color books, and these are the best colors ever.”

“Wow, thank you, Harry. I love them.” The small boy hugged him one more time. “Look, mummy!”

“I see, they’re so pretty.”

Artemis hugged Harry once more before hopping off the bed. “Can I go with nana Ally now?”

“Yes, but leave your gift here, okay?” He nodded before handing his mum the box and running out of the room and off to find his nana. “Did you seriously buy professional colors to a five year old?” She asked with a smile, shaking her head in disbelief.

“What? He loves to paint.”

“Thank you.” Y/N said, kissing Harry’s cheek. “It was very sweet of you.”

Harry gave her a dimpled smile. “You look stunning, love.” Y/N was wearing a long, white summer dress with little sunflowers on it, paired with some heels.

“So do you.” She gave him another kiss. “Let’s go, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

Going around greeting everyone, Harry had a hold on his phone all the time making sure Niall had the right address to get there in time. Y/N’s mums made a perfect job decorating the backyard, there were balloons everywhere and the tables had different marine animals on the center.

Artemis loved the ocean a lot, considering he lived in London and there wasn’t many beaches to go, he liked watching pictures and documentaries of it. So Y/N thought that instead of taking him to the ocean, she brought the ocean to him.

“Harry, sweetie, would you take the cake out of the fridge and bring it to the table?”

He nodded and went inside again. At the same time he was crossing the door, someone rang the doorbell so Harry went straight to open it, eager for Niall to arrive. “Didn’t want to show up empty handed so I bought the lad a little something. It’s a train set.” Niall said as soon as Harry opened the door.

“I’m glad you made it, mate.” They hugged and Harry closed the door behind them. “We’re about to cut the cake, he’ll be so happy to meet you.”

Harry was so excited for this surprise, ever since Artemis ‘discovered’ his band, he’s been obsessed with Niall so the curly-haired man couldn’t wait to see the look in Artemis’ face when he sees the blonde man walking into his party. He grabbed the cake before leading Niall outside where everyone was.

Y/N was the first one to notice the new man walking in, and her eyes grew wider when she recognized him. She walked towards them with a confused smile on her face. “Harry?”

“You must be Y/N.” The Irish man said with a grin. “Hope it’s okay that I’m here.”

“Uh, yeah. It’s great. Nice to meet you.” She offered him her hand for him to shake.

“I brought Niall to surprise Artemis.” Harry said proudly.

“Oh my, he’s going to be so happy, let me bring him over here.” Y/N went off to find her son. She’d never expect Harry to actually bring Niall for Artemis but it was a very sweet, thoughtful thing. “Honey, come here. There’s someone who wants to meet you.”

The five year old stopped running and walked towards his mum to take her hand and let her lead him to where Niall and Harry were. When he spotted Niall, he got all shy and hid behind her legs, like he always did when he got nervous.

Niall noticed it and crunched down to his eye level. “Hi, bud. A little bird told me you liked my music.” Artemis looked at him with big doe eyes, curious to know what was in the box Niall was holding. “Happy birthday, mate.” He handed him the gift and Artemis shyly took it from him.

“Thank you, sir.”

“Oh my god, he’s adorable.” Niall said, looking up to Y/N and Harry. “Call me Niall, okay? It’s nice to meet you, buddy.”

Artemis finally smiled at him, letting go of the hold he had on his mum’s dress. He came closer to Niall and started talking, Y/N and Harry looked at each other as she took one of his hands in hers to intertwine their fingers.

It was time to cute the cake and Artemis was stood on a chair behind it with Y/N by his side and everyone around him. She motioned Harry to come stand with them and he gladly did so. They sang happy birthday to Artemis and the boy had a big, toothy smile on his face the whole time.

Eventually the guests started to leave, but Artemis didn’t let Niall go before giving him a big, tight hug before making him promise they’d see each other again. Just before all the guests left, Artemis fell asleep and Harry had to take him upstairs to the room Y/N’s mums had for him. When he came down again, everyone was gone and his girlfriend was just finishing picking up some things outside so he went out to help her.

“Did you see how happy he was the whole day?” She said.

“Yeah, he enjoyed it.”

“It was really thoughtful of you to bring Niall, you know?” Y/N walked towards him and wrapped her arms around his waist. “He was very excited for it.”

“It was my pleasure, love to see him smile.”

“Thank you.” She told him, cupping his face with her hands.

“For what?”

“Today was good, but you definitely made it better. So thank you.”

Harry smiled happily before leaning down to capture her lips on a sweet kiss, making her smile against his lips. It was good to finally feel he belonged somewhere, and slowly started to feel they were becoming his own family. He’d never deny the way his heart skipped a beat every time Artemis laughed, or when Y/N smiled. Harry found himself wanting to be forever there for the two of them, for every single birthday, anniversary, everything.

He was in love not only with Y/N but with Artemis too, and he knew that feeling was never gonna go away.

☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁

taglist!!

@myfavfanficsever @odetostep @la-cey @cock-a-doodely-doo @awkwardbullfrog @mellamolayla @moorgannn @bagtan-serendipity @awesomebooklover17 @finelineribs @sunnybusiness @beanholland @sweetenerstyle @cronias13 @vhsharry @maisley @seasidecrowbar @stylesfics-xx @autumnpauley20 @fineline-hs1 @stephaniemalvie @immajustreadwritereblog @jadert15 @iguessweallcrazyithinktho @abundanceofsoph @harrysthicccthighs

#harry styles imagine #harry styles #harry styles imagines #harry styles one shot #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles fluffy imagine #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfiction #dad!harry #stepdad!harry

[icecreamkink]

watched all of the untamed / cql in two weeks after my friend 1 told me abt mdzs a hundred years ago and my friends 2 and 3 tried to get me into cql for like two whole years and there are.

feelings.

very first scene is a very dramatic death in the middle of nightmare battle on sith planet land . i will forget abt it in the next tenish episodes and then will be very surprised when it becomes Extremely Painful

anyway magic flying gays and possession and human sacrifice! we are off to a great start

in retrospect, chaos goblin wei wuxian must have had a blast pretending to be so cRaZy and be as disruptive as he could as mo xuanyu lbr

listen. why is fire always evil coded. cant a magic clan wear red, black and orange and have flame motif while being wholesome?

For Legal Reasons These Are Not Zombies

i wish the politics of the sect were a bit clearer, especially at the beggining when the wen clan had sm power, was wen ruohan the chief cultivator? is that why they were so slow in responding to the attacks? im v confused by the pre yiling patriarch politics

fighting in the roof by the moonlight as way of flirtiiiiiiing. as i understand this is a wuxia/xianxia trope and honestly...... thank u for ur service

slight bullying and being a nuisance in general, as a way of flirting we love to see it

wwx: if i drink on the rooftop, thats not inside the cloud recesses! hmmm check and mate :D lwj: i will fuck u up so help me god   wwx: :0

i lov them

through hell or high water (quite literally) wei wuxian rem ains a trashfire gremlin till the end and i love him with my whole heart

in the pt subs wei wuxian calls jiang cheng a stubborn duck and i dearly wish that had come back

my opinions on almost every character goes from love to hate u - Hmm Me Like U - BABY. ILY. and i am Very Pleased w that. its been a while since i loved such a complete cast so much i think

no really. i WONT go into a detailed rant abt what i love about each of these characters and each of their relationships to each other. but i COULD. 

some lan disciples in the loudest whisper ever: YEAH THATS THE JIN BASTARD MENG YAO HEARD THE GOT SUPER HUMILIATED BY HIS DAD LOL SURE HOPE HE DOESNT TAKE SLIGHTS TO HIS CHARACTER TO HEART

lan xichen, immediately: i must Love him 

being into problematic ppl is in the Lan genetics, we come to realize

wen qing deserves so many awards for so many things but not snapping and just stabbing wen chao is at the top 

that scene at lan qirens class where wwx talks about using resentful energy to fight a violent spirit. exquisite.

 It establishes Good Student lan wangji, wei wuxian as curious and questioning and not afraid of taboo,  lwj sees that wwx is not, in fact, a dumb ass hes just a Dumbass,  shows us the audience (esp. a western audience) how shocking the idea of disrupting the dead/dying and controlling resentful energy actually is,  the theoretical foreshadow arguing, everyone else like ‘shUT UP’,  “and how could you ensure that the resentful energy would obey you and not hurt other?” “well i havent thought that far” and of course, lan qiren just straight up lobbing a hard object at wwx head,. chefs kiss

fellas is it gay to bother the hot rule obessessed nerd from ur school and make drawings of him with flowers in his hair and then hide gay porn in his book to antagonize him and ask him to hold ur hand and be ur friend and talk to him all the time and get him drunk and give him bunnies bc you know he likes them and give him a lantern and always want his attention and dedicate yourself to getting him to smile-

and after all of that wwx rly said oh i Admire him, aksd like yeah we all were there in high school buddy

i have Learned. caves = gay.

 accidental marriage +beint physically tied together with the sacred married ribbon+ gay panic+foreshadowing+bunnies! in the cave (1)

the story abt lan yi and baoshan sanren tho. i would like to see it

early days wen bros pull my heart strings like a guqin 

EVERYTHING about the lantern scene; disaster hets jiang yanli and jin zixuan; how wwx made lwj a bunny lantern. how soft and touched lwj was. wwx gleefully pointing out he was smiling and lwj IMMEDIATELY PULLING HIW SWORD ON HIM LMAO. tragically foreshadowy promises to do right by pepople, living without regrets. lwjs 'oh no do i love him??' face. just. all of it. 

i have it on good acc that in the novel lwj is explicitly Repressed Gay Panicked Big Horny which is delightful and rly Adds to the performance

 baby lwj is really just conceal dont feel dont let them know u have EMOTIONS (derogatory)

jiang cheng rly went "why dont.u go play with HIM if u like him so much"

jc and wwx have big BIG annoying sibling energy dont think too hard abt it or youll cry

lotus pier is soo pretty :((((((((((((((((

up until episode 13 you could think this could be a magical ancient chinese gays pride n prejudice w swords and shenanigans ................youre just not prepared for the game of thrones of it all

seriously ha ha ha i cried so much w this show my eyes genuinely swelled up . like. physically. fun timez fun timez

that being said, its hilarious that wen xu goes to cloud recesses like 'come out or ill kill all these hostages' and then DOESNT WAIT FOR AN ASWER AND KILLS THEM ALL IMMEDIATELY. do u know how blackmail works sir

 would like to make it recorded that from day one i was like 'CALL A GODDAMN CULTIVATION G20 THIS ASSHOLE SECT IS LITERALLY MASSACRING YALL!!' and it took them like 3 or 4 massacres to do anything and they STILL sent their heirs into their territory  LIKE

when wwx cites the gusu lan rules to wen chao tho. that rebel/attention whore/cutie pie 'look lan zhan i DID memorize the rules after all' ‘also a big fuck you to the wen sect :D :D’ sweet spot that scene achieves . delicious

all the cultivator young masters being petty af even though they are practically prisoners at the cave is hilarious and i love them

hurt and comfort + gay mistunderstandings + watsonian gay declaration music + accidental evil acquisition! at the cave (2)

its like where do i start? the fact theyre both trapped and kind of heavily injured inside an isolated cave with a murder turtle? wwx gay panicking lwj into coughing up bad blood? lwj being jealous as wwx babbles abt mianmian? telling him he shouldnt play with people and wwx saying he never played him? wwx going Oh. I See what is happening. YOU like mianmian, and lwj absolute done face ??? (iconic) wwx touching the sacred married ribbon Again? the telepathic communication? the sword? WEI WUXIAN ASKING LAN WANGJI TO SING TO HIM AS HE IS PASSING OUT AND LWJ SINGING HIM. THE SONG. HE WROTE. FOR WWX. AND THAT HE CALLED. THEIR SHIP NAME????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

they are SO insufferable pleeeeease

in the words of my friend 1 : “CQL is so gay we were all amazed how it got past the censors Ofc unfortunately it can't be novel level gay But they did their best And we love them for it”

in the theme of songs THIS OST. WUJI HAS BEEN LIVING IN MY MIND RENT FREE SINCE I FIRST HEARD IT the whole ost is so so sO beautiful.

 the costuming in this is also soooo exquisite. the embroidery? the fabrics? the details? how every sect and clan has a distinct style and architecture? (also ik they based each off of dif periods in chinese history which is REALLY fucking cool) just chefs kiss

the direction too!. i enjoy the unusual camera movements and i think they give it that Vibe, also their composition is PARTICULARLY good when it comes to telling the subtext through position of camera/position of character (like nhs off to the side in scenes he at first glance doesnt need to be/ how lwj is often centered when hes Jealous Yearning at wwx being affectionate w other ppl, wwx return from burial mounds etc)

ik madam yu is like Badass Milf Check and shes not getting any mom of the year awards but im delighted at how messy she is. IMAGINE that woman on tiktok

you better have enjoyed gay cave (2) bc its Just Pain from here on out! 

jiang fengmian and madame yu win the Most Dramatic Way to show they do care about each other, actually ..... ever :)

i thought jiang yanli jiang cheng and wei wuxian forcing themselves to escape yunmeng barely holding on after their parents are killed was going to be the height of pain in this show. ha. 

the family dynamics in general on this showwwww, both blood/ adopted/ found families, brotherly bonds and lifelong friendships just. rly. truly. fucked me up. theyre all so important and complicated and well rounded and beautiful and tragic

and beyond being a Win For the Gays im so glad the relationships w wwx and jiang yanli/ wen qing were NOT changed from platonic bc they are so much better like that imo. like maybe if we didnt Live In A Society it wouldnt be so, but the fact wwx and others can love and value them so much and theres nothing romantic or sexual abt it is like. so refreshing. especially @ jyl, with the way he and jc are overprotective of her and shes such a nurturing/care taker figure for them, it would just not vibe as well if they made it romantic

i love that this is a story abt Wei Wuxian, the Yiling Patriarch aka Actual Satan/Boogey Man/Village With/Public Enemy Number One , my dude is literally a necromancer who only dresses in black and has evil smokey black tendrils wafting out of him, but the really edgy one is still jiang cheng, pastel purple fashion icon

and speaking of best/worst siblings wei wuxian and jiang cheng *immediately starts crying* 

The Golden Core Transfer i just. no thots only tears 

wen qing and wen ning putting themselves in so much danger just.... to help them. wn saving jc from wen chao. wq finding a way to get wwx to transfer his core. like thinking about the monumental work these two did to help wwx and jyl and jc... jyl trying so fucking hard to be strong and keep on moving and giver her little brothers comfort after losing everything... jiang cheng. losing his parents and his home and his ability to do anything abt it and his complete desperation and lack of self worth and turning on them with agression  when he didnt realize all that they did for him ... hhhhhhhhhhhhh

me, pointing at the whole cast “i just LOVE them mom!!!”

its sad tho, that BARELY ANY of the women have like.... actual important conversations let alone relationships with each other at all in the story. and like wq and jyl have stayed at the same place for extended periods of time, where wq actively took care of her TWICE,  and still! not one measly convo, nothing! ................ .𝓌ₕᵧ

everyone in this show need a good sip of Self Worth and Stop Sacrificing Yourself juice 

ngl the sword flying looks very dumb 

“a-cheng, please bring a-xian back.” “i will, i promise.” ;-;

the whole calling each other by the More Intimate Version of the name, first as teasing and later as true intimacy. mmmhmmm yes

untamed where everythings the same but wwx evil flute song is eoeo

related that scene when wwx comes back from the burial mounds for the first time w demonic cultivation and he acts all formal and calls lwj hanguang-jun and keeps being evasive and distant and mean and soooooo................. facetious 

and how hes kind of desperately trying to keep intense lwj at bay (A FIRST) and avoiding actually talking to either of them and its all tension ughhh and then he MOCKS his and lwjs relationship, he jokes w him in this like... mean echo of their usual ~banter~ oof 

 and like!!! uncertain but so relieved jc who just HUGS him w no reservations for once and its not like he isnt just as worried as lwj abt wwx and what hes doing, but he chooses in that moment to enjoy getting him back first and mmhmMMMmMm yes (maybe my favorite scene in the whole show? MAYBE SO. ) 

highkey hurt me but also. i might be into mean wwx. i will take no criticism.

lan zhans sad eyes tho :((((((((( 

on one hand i wish we could have seen what happened at the burial mounds but on the other the timeskip adds so much flair to his return so im hnnn

also i love that hes been missing for 3 months reappears kinda melancholic and bloodthirsty and knowing malign tricks and jc is like 'so. are u sad bc of lan wangji'

when ur bae survived the war but he thinks ur evil/ might be evil so you cant kiss :///

hmmm talking at the rooftop under the moonlight not mentioning everything that stands between usssss

they are the two jades of lan and we’ll be the two heroes of yunmeng is the type of line u dont even need to know whats gonna happen to know thats gonna be sad

when they fight wen ruoshan at the nightless city i thought that was the battle we see at the first ep and its not and its so easy and theyre all like ‘yayy we won go wwx!’ i was just. SCREAMS WHAT is gonna HAPPEN

so like. post burial mounds/sunshot campaign pre yiling patriarch wwx is like. ultra arrogant, ultra mocking, peak lil shit and it gave me e v e r y t h i n g i wanted

even tho having the wen prisoners at the targets at phoenix mountain and still having wwx and jzx shooting the arrows was???? so.... tone deaf 

wwx: fucking w demonic energy   jyl: he has never done anything wrong in his life, ever <3 <3 (mood)

the parallels between meng yao/wei wuxian (and even xue yang a bit?) are Seen and they are Valid

wwx post burial mounds: can yall SHUT UP abt the goddamn sword (suibian left the chat)

LIKE truly, we talk abt the angst and yearning with wangxian. but what abt wwx and suibian. xianbian / xianqing angst and comfort 100k

take a shot everytime someone coughs up blood

zidian is simply the coolest spiritual weapon rip to suibian and chenqing and bichen and sendou and baixa........ but tis the truth 

cons: everyones families died in a nightmare war! everyones homes burned to the ground! everyone is traumatized! pros: everyone gets cooler clothes and weapons!!

wen ning and a-yuan and yanli bestest babes squad dont touch me rn

everyone: brooding and fighting                                                                wq and jyl: why dont you try some acupunture/drinking some soup and calm down huh? how abt that bitch?? 

showing the battle/massacre at the nightless city first was genius actually bc then everytime we have a cute scene w yunmeng bros and theyre like 'we'll be together forever! uwu' youre like oh. oh no. oh no no no. 

justice vs lawfulness vs means and ends 👁

jc: stay in the right path and practice the art of the sword                        wx: yeah thats not gonna happen chief

my reaction to wwx renouncing to the sect politics to help the wens was just that elmo burning gif in succession

the dramatic rain. wen qing desperately calling out to wen ning. the ghosts/puppets killing the guards. how terrifying wn actually was while wwx was controlling him :( lwj goeing after him to try and stop him and then he just; he Sees him and understands him even if he cant actually do anything about it other than let them go. 

“there must be somewhere in this earth we can go to :(((((((((”

"IF I HAVE TO FIGHT THEM, I'D RATHER IT BE YOU. DYING BY YOUR HANDS WOULD AT LEAST BE WORTH IT." oh my god oh my god oh my goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooddddddd

also lwjs umbrella is white w black smoke.. .  . nice

yiling patriarch / demonic farming burial mounds settlement is like one of my favorite concepts. they an "EVIL" FARMING COMMUNITY LED BY THE VILLAGE WITCH COME ON

they planted TURNIPS and LOTUS FLOWERS and ONE (1) baby and made lanterns and a common hall :(((((((

wen qing and wei wuxian, baddest bitches and genius science best friends i absolutely LOVED to see it. they rly went ‘is anyone gonna sibling/project partner that’ and didnt wait for an answer

both wwx and jyl getting lotus ponds at the burial mounds and in lanling bc they miss lotus pier ;;;;;;;w

;;;;; wish jyl had actually gone into the burial mounds. we were robbed of jyl and wq meeting again and jyl meeting a-yuan and seeing the settlement and the homes and all ;w; at least jc did go, stab wounds and broken arms and all

wwx like... having thrown his whole life away to help the wens (yeah the sect leaders and jin guangshan in particular wanting his stygian tiger amulet was an Element but still) and not.... necessarily regretting it, but grappling with all of the consequences of it... becoming moody and drepressed at times, missing his family and lotus pier and his friends and probably simply missing being around people and causing trouble, extrovert that he is, lashing out at the wens and at a-yuan, just in general the whole messiness of that experience

the way the resentful energy does affect his temperament is rly nice bc its not too in your face,(i mean outside of the Shaky Hands of Rage) but like he clearly has a much lesser control on his anger and impulsivity (tall order) than both before bm and after hes ressurected

on that note A-YUAN BABIEST BABY BOY BEST BOY

lan zhan being like oh hey there wei ying fancy meeting u and our son here. just passing by u know how it is hmmmmMm and then PLOT TWIST having defied orders to go see him and being punished for it. oof;;

 they habent seen each other in like? a year? and now theyre tgt 10 seconds and are already parenting a child together

also lwj rly kneels down in the snow way too much to be healthy

wwx: calm down guyssss i wont lose control of demonic cultivation omgggg  .   spoiler alert: he loses control of demonic cultivation

did u enjoy cute children? good bc now the Real Pain Begins

jiang yanli and jin zixuan rly out there APROPRIATING both disaster gays AND bury ur gays huh ;w;

i KNEW jin lings birthday was gonna fuck something up but the GASP that left my body when wwx lost control of wn and killed jin zixuan .. . . 

im sorry and thank you aaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAaAAAAA 

when wen ning and wen qing were telling wwx their plan i was saying NO NO NO NO NO NO out loud in despair 

also can we talk abt how wq is definetely talking about only the both of them surrending themselves but then? everyone else just surrenders w them? IT MAKES NO SENSE LIKE WHY WOULD THEY what would be the Point

 sometimes there are some pretty gaping jumps in logic and continuity that are just like                     ?          ?

wwx: oh so when you try to murder me its justified but when i survive through dark magic and murder all of you its a "war crime"

unsurprisingly, his most feral, most spiraling moment talking to the sect leaders on the roof and attacking them and even fighting lan zhan is among my favorite scenes... its like, so painful to watch but also   so       thrilling   (and maybe my wen bbs dying arose some resentful energy in me what can i say) 

and its JUST, all they ever wanted was to do good but then... war. and trauma. and hubris. 

jiang cheng on the ground clearly thorn between what to do and feel is a Mood, lets just say

i was already crying when jyl showed up, but if i wasnt-

 i suffered SO MUCH through this series trying to figure out WHY jc would kill wwx. and when i understood. its somehow not as bad as i thought and also MUCH MUCH WORSE

a look into my group chat during the last flashback episodes:

SO ANYWAY. after the BLOOD BATH and RIPPING YOUR HEART OUT and FEEDING IT TO YOU  the untamed goes ‘ayy back to the present!! tu du dud ud du’ 

literally it ends a quarter into an episode and then KEEPS GOING i had to pause and stare blankly at the ceiling for an hour

babie cultivators and detective soulmates . i do need some cute after All of That 

(not that the pain is over LOL)

lwj is significantly less emotionally repressed in the present and its delightful. hes just ALL IN with wwx. and not just in the ‘i would and have killed various men and risked my reputation for you’ but also ‘ur tired here have a drink i brought it up cause i know u like it and it want you to be happy, always’

“when everyone praised me and wanted my power, you were the only one that challenged me. now that everyone hates me and wants me dead, youre the only one that stands by my side.” hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnn 

and just filling in the blanks how lan zhan searched for him. for all of those 16 years he searched for him and was punished for it and raised a-yuan, the only survivor of the burial mounds settlement, as his own in gusu......

and jiang cheng.  being the tough love uncle . having raised the yunmeng jiang clan from the rubble all alone, his whole family dead, some of it on the blame of his own brother, his siblings, his closest friends gone.......and only jin ling there needing his guidance. 

THE PARALLEL BETWEEN JIN LING BEING A LIFELINE FOR JIANG CHENG AND A-YUAN FOR LAN WANGJI AFTER THE BATTLE AT THE NIGHTLESS CITY  

great now i made myself sad

and like . the fact! that lwj and jc dislike each other!!. jc projects blame onto him for wwx both “leaving” him and indirectly causing their families deaths and when hes so consumed by it he makes wwx an enemy, lwj is there now? trying to protect him?? and lwj, who can never understand the pain that wwx , indirectly or not put jc through, but who was right there when jc tried to kill him and will never allow him to hurt wwx again. and how they like. in a way project blame of their tragedies onto each other while dealing with some type of survivor guilt and in their own way still loving wwx through it all???  amd in way its kind of fundamentally selfish but also tragically understandable? and like when u put it against the fact that after he disappears during the sunshot campaign they were looking for him together and fought together??

JUST. THE CHARACTERS. AND THE RELATIONSHIPS IN THIS. MAN. UGH. GOD. 

and like i think thats what makes it so good? its such a sad and painful and violent story, edgy even, but its compelling bc at the center of it there are all of these relationships and different types of love and hope and. :( i love it

enough crying lets talk abt wwx sleeping at the jingshi with lwj and wearing his under garment for a minute 🙏

 jin ling just has that Was Raised by JC energy tho lmao i love him

babie cultivator squad is the perfect ammount of cute and comedic relief while still bearing the weight? of the narrative in a way, both from sizhui and jin lings existences, and also. like. how do i put this. they feel hopeful? they were born after a war, they came of age at a time of relative peace, they dont hold on so closely to the resentments of their parents/father figures, they are specifically shown as more accepting and open minded. and its like.... Hope for the future  

one of the ?? things  i love the most is the fact that the main cast are often in situations where theyre hunted/running but they like. never wear disguises... just going around in their gorgeous expensive clan clothes and hair ornaments and distinctive spiritual weapons.... maybe w a straw hat on, just for kicks

wwx teacher 🥺🥺🥺

so this is why its called Yi City Misery huh

a-qing is such. an icon. im so sad. my girl even knew to leave xys dumb self rotting by the road but no one listens to her thats why theyre all dead or sad 

her and xue yang measuring each other up was so entertaining lmao

 its the funniest thing when hes like. HERES MY SAD STORY. FOR WHY IM A SADISTIC MURDERER. I BROKE MY HAND ONCE. 

like ok someone broke his hand in a horrible way, and like Poverty, i get it but also like.......... that lost the brunt of a proper sob story like, 50 sadistic murders ago bby

and i love that xingchen does not entertain that for a second hes like ‘not ?????? good enough???’ and the best thing is he wasnt even like 'u hadto be the bigger person' or sth but ' well then break that dudes hand back, rip his arm off for i care, what do the rest of us have to do w anything???” 

anjo sensato :(

xue yang is like..... the sexy sadistic evil version of a himbo..... a meanbo...

the fucked upness of xy’s feelings for xxc/ xxc and sl feelings for each other... like my dude literally gave his bf HIS EYES. and xy getting so attached to xxc .... the fucked up fake domesticity.... having him hurt sl..... then desperately trying to bring him back ...................... oof

song lan........... literally had his eyes AND tongue removed, his bfs eyes put in place, was almost killed, turned into a puppet by his bf unknowingly, manipulated by xy, sees his bf killing himself in despair.... and STILL finds the strenght to get up from there, and keep on traveling and helping people and attempting to fix xxcs soul.......... like, my man. damn. 

wangxian looking at songxiao and seeing an Actually more painful parallel for themselves. ft. that Color Coding. 

THE A-YUAN/SIZHUI REVEAL PUNCHED ME IN THE HEART but in a good way for a change

should have know that he would be the Best Boy the cute one w all the braincells

the butterfly AND the bunny lantern. i see how it is

u know is very convenient that no one can see the stark black veins on wen nings neck, ever 

BAT WEN NING 

wns face when lwj comes into wwx room like ‘:0 omg did u two finally get your shit together? good for you master wei good for u’ 

(they didnt) (yet)

DISASTER DRUNK LWJ. JUST. THRUST SOME CHICKENS TO SHOW UR RESSURECTED BAE THAT U LOVE THEM.

i have absolutely no idea WHY they gave lwj the same punishment for fighting his own sect/allies to protect the burial mounds as when they got drunk on cloud recess class days.... like? its such a ... emotional continuity error again

also is lwj gonna get an actual friend besides wwx , ever

mianmian marrying and having a family and a cute life after saying FUCK U AND UR SYSTEM TOO in a much less unhinged and dramatic way than wwx......... fills me w joy

also lol the idea that like. her husband not knowing that shes friends w satan/the boogey man/the village witch is hilarious

i love nie mingjue bc hes the resident Though Guy but also the most dramatic bitch in this show and thats Saying Something

jin ling cant have one uneventful relative can he

the fact that everyone present already knew “mo xuanyu” was wwx at the stairs is so funny, their faces are like ‘oh............ wow. that. sure is a development. shock” 

in the tradition of extremely loud whispers wwx tells lwj with twelve guards standing like one meter away from them: HEY PSH LAN ZHAN PRETEND IM FORCING YOU TO STAY W ME DO IT

oh my god oh my god

the absolute Yearning on his face when he leaves wwx and a-yuan at the burial mounds and refuses to stay for dinner was already Enough but the fact?? they brought it back?? to this declaration of love?? their expressions??????? strike me dead right now just go ahead

lFor Legal Reasons We Cant Kiss but we will have a very sappy declaration of love and trust and look at each other in way that is the actualization of 💞💘💗💖💓💘💞💗💖💘💗💖💕💞

also icb all the sect leaders and guards are standing there watching them say they like like each other with a dozen swords pointing at their neck

i enjoyed the depiction of the fickle public perception and how easily it can be used to scapegoat people. when the sect leaders turn on jgy and wwx knows thats its more for convenience than anything else...

poor lxc is literally like 'oh so when YOUR problematic boyfriend gets called evil its a misunderstanding but when its MY problematic bf-'

ok like i cant get over nmj let jgy play a song that messed with his temperament at all, like maN u KNEW he might be shady wth

wwx: “hey dont say anything bad abt lan zhan hes not an arrogant dick, thats just his face. 

ME ON THE OTHER HAND"

the cultivators as wwx is poking holes in their narrative is literally *nazaré meme*

"wei wuxian-!" "what did i break your leg, too?" not to be problematic but i laughed so hard

not as hard as "you dont have the rank to talk to me " tho

i Enjoy that, over the course of story, wwx sees that... theres nothing truly to Do, but move on. he saw how his arrogance and his mistakes hurt others, and hes trying to fix what he can, but he already did die for his mistakes and there are things he cant fix and that's. just how it is. even towards jgy, the narrative doesn't go gleefully and completely with "lets make THEM pay bc theyre the big bad" bc its not that simple, and it wouldn't lead anywhere but more pain...

re him and jiang cheng and the wens and kinda. isnt that what nhs did? scheming to displace jgy out of revenge more than any justice and doing so in the most painful way?

idk if that actually makes sense im truly just babbling

i thought the scene at the lotus pond would be CUTE but the context was PAIN again

jiang cheng finding out about his golden core and his conflict with wwx at the guanyin temple .... destroyed me but in a nice way kinda.... same way it destroys him look at his face oh god

and. the fact??? he sacrificed himself for wwx?? first?? and he'll probably never tell anyone much less wwx???? keeps me up at night

i havent decided if the neckbreak transition between jgy does sth super Evil or does he he does OR Does He yes he does O R does heeeee is sth i dislike or not

jin guangyao and wei wuxians most interesting parallel is that... theyve both seen 'hmm hey this system is fucked up' and wwx went 'so fuck it all i will renounce it and challenge it' and jgy went 'so fuck it i will use all of it to my advantage and manipulate it to my goals and whims'

the fact jgys mom was actually great and he loved her and his whole issue w it was more than simply being ashamed of being a bastard kinda got me ngl

never trust a dude with a fan.

nhs and jgy: the first rule to a convoluted and decades spanning violent revenge plot is to have fun and be yourself! 

when a-yuan finally FINALLY remembers ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; wen ning has someone in his family back and a-yuan has someone to talk abt his wen family and wwx has him back bc he survived and lwj raised him anD HES THEIR SON. THEYRE MARRIED AND HAVE A SON. UGH.

and theyre allowed to heal. everyone is allowed to try and recover and be happy

netflix put all of the 3 endings on top of each other and it looks kinda weird actually BUT I DONT EVEN MIND :’’’’’’’’’)

the gasp that left me when lwj says ‘wei ying’ and wwx turns.........

there was also a screen with ‘thank you mxtx for creating these characters, we hope their wishes come true’ and i might. have cried then too. maybe. 

that was . a ride. as is proven by this behemot of a ramble clearly i just really needed and Outlet. i am currently trying to convince dumb monkey brain to not consume the other medias of mdzs immediately bc i REALLY need to like. live. a life. and take care of real responsibilities.  *longest oh boi ever*

#m. #ANYWAY #ENOUGH TALKING #THIS IS SO LONG #LOL #but whatever this is MY performative journaling i do what i want #rambling impressions abt what i watch is a thing i do now? apparently?? #cql #untamed #the untamed #fun fact that chat is named 'k keeps on babbling abt the untamed' and it STILL wasnt enough #also it took me 15 episodes to realize lwj was yibo #IT WAS V SHOCKING #i did not recognize him at a l l #but in retrospect he WAS the perfect choice

[matronaa]

pretty boy - the neighbourhood

pairing: dabi x reader

word count: 1,425

genre: fluff angst

warnings: none other than the fact that this isn't edited :’)

The song if you haven’t heard it: here

a/n: I cant get this song out of my head and I just know dabi probably listens to the neighbourhood so ya here you go 

au in which dabi clears his criminal record by helping the heroes take Eri from Overhaul so he can live a life in peace with you. however, overhaul finds out its dabi who leaked very important information and had eri taken from him. Overhaul is now coming for dabi, planning on taking y/n as revenge. 

The apartment shook as Dabi slammed the door behind him, causing you to stand from your place on the couch. 

“Pack your shit, we gotta get out of here.” He said before he quickly stalked back to your shared bedroom.

You were confused, to say the least, but the rough condition he was in made you follow close behind you. He was visibly shaking, his breath coming out ridged. You watched as he pulled out a pile of duffle bags and backpacks from the back of the closet. The sight of him quickly shoving his clothes into one finally got you to snap out of your shocked daze and speak.

“What happened?” You questioned. He didn’t respond, his actions never even slowed. “Dabi I need you to tell me whats going on.”

He finished packing most of his clothes and pushed past you back towards the living room. You followed him, continuing to question him only to get no response. He sat the bag by the door before turning around to go back into the bedroom. You stopped him, stepping in front of him and putting a hand on his chest. He looked down at you with worry in his eyes. You reached up your hand and cupped his face.

“Baby...” He was definitely starting to scare you. You couldn’t imagine what could have happened that made him so frantic. Ever since he worked with the heroes everything was supposed to be fine, right? 

After you and Dabi got together, he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. You were his number one priority. He wanted to protect you at all costs, and he couldn't do that if he was running out with the LOV. So, after a long discussion with the group, he finally left the LOV. There was still one problem though, he was still wanted. There was still a high risk he could be taken from you. So he called his old friend, Hawks. Hawks helped him meet with the police force, UA, and the other pro heroes in the case of Overhaul. Since he was in the LOV and Shigaraki was going to team up with Overhaul, he knew where their base was, and the best way to infiltrate it. He told them what he knew of Overhaul’s plans, of course leaving out details that would put LOV at risk. In return, all his charges were dropped. Of course, he did have to abide by some rules to make sure he was trustworthy. He was to stay in custody until the mission was completed, to ensure he wasn’t leading them into a trap. After the mission was a success, he was free to leave. Although he would be kept on high surveillance and was to help the police force with any villain incidents he might be linked to. You both were finally out of the woods. You were safe. You could finally go on normal dates with your boyfriend apart from the nervous stares, and you weren’t scared that you might never see him again every time he walked out the door. You were safe. At least that's what you thought.

That's what Dabi thought until he received a call late this morning while grocery shopping. It was Hawks. Dabi shrugged as he answered the phone. Sure, he didn’t talk to the bird brain all the time, but it wasn’t unusual to check up on each other now and then.

“What’s u-”

“He knows it was you.” Hawks said in a serious yet rushed voice.

“What are you talking about.” Dabi chuckled. He was thoroughly confused. Who is he talking about?

“Overhaul knows you sold him out. He’s after you.” Dabi’s heart sank.

Why? Why him? Why can’t he get a break? All he wanted was to be with you. Why can’t he just get one good thing in life?

Your voice snapped him back to reality, out of the flashback to earlier. He looked around, taking in the messy living room and a half-eaten sandwich left on the kitchen counter. He looked back down at you, feeling the hand on the side of his face and relishing on the sight of you bright e/c eyes. He sighed as he grounded himself, his nerves calming as he reminded himself everything was fine as long as he had you.

“Y/n,” The world seemed to slip away as he slowly leaned in, softly pressing his lips to yours. He huffed in disapproval as you pulled away.

“Talk to me,” you whispered, “What's going on?”

“Overhaul knows and he’s after us.” Your eyes widen in shock. “He told Hawks to tell me that since it's my fault Eri was taken from him, he’s going to take you from me.” 

The way his voice shook broke your heart, so you pulled him into a tight hug. His forehead resting on your shoulder, arms wrapped around your waist. You could tell he was panicking from the way you could feel his heart beating out of his chest. 

“It’ll be okay, he’s not going to take me away from you.” You reassured him, softly scratching his back with one hand and using the other to run your hands through his hair. “Do you have a plan? Did Hawks say anything else?”

“Yeah... He said he has somewhere we can stay until they catch him.” His muscles began to relax under your touch.

“See? Then we’ll be okay.” You pulled out of his grasp to cup his face in both of your hands, flashing a small smile. 

Your attention turned towards the tv as you heard a familiar tune begin to play. You had been listening to music before Dabi came home, and you forgot to pause it. Your smile widened into a grin as you recognized the song, and you turned back to Dabi to see a small smile starting to form. It was your song, Pretty Boy by The Neighbourhood. The song that played as you said your first I love yous. 

 Sitting in his car, eating stale Mcdonalds fries and drinking the weirdly addicting sprite. Like seriously whats up with Mcdonalds drinks. The song started playing through the speakers, and you could hear Dabi begin to hum along. When the chorus came along, you sung the first part aloud, looking at the handsomely burnt man beside you. 

“Pretty boy, you did this with me, boy Now it's all about to end”

He smiled at you before singing the second half of the chorus.

“Baby girl, look where we made it, girl Hmm, now we're falling”

You sang along with each other through the rest of the song, never breaking eye contact. As it came to an end, you continued staring into each others eyes until he finally broke the silence.

“I love you.” 

God knows how long you’ve wanted to hear those words. 

“I love you too.”

There you were, 6 months later, swaying to the melody of the song. You had your arms draped over Dabi’s shoulders, and his arms wrapped around your waist. Dabi leaned in to press his forehead against yours, staring into your soul until he closed his eyes and began to hum. You did the same, relaxing into his presence and just enjoying the moment. You wanted to stay like this for as long as possibly, knowing eventually you will have to face the reality of the danger you were in. Much to your dismay, Dabi began to pull away. You started to whine until he pressed a hand to your cheek, the warmth silencing any protests you had. 

“Even if my heart stops beating, you're the only thing I need, ooh, with me,” He sang softly, his thumb caressing your cheek. “Even if the Earth starts shaking, you're the only thing worth taking, oh no, ooh, with me “

“Even if the sky's on fire, got you here, it's alright, ooh, with me,” You smiled as you sang back to him, meaning every word. “And if it's all over, I'm taking this moment, ooh, with me,”

“Wherever I'm going,” You both sang, “I'm happy you're coming, ooh, with me,” 

You stayed together through the end of the song, swaying in each others arms as the music faded out. You pressed your head on his chest, listening to his now calm heartbeat. When the song completely faded out, you looked back up at him. 

“We’ll be okay, okay baby?” You said, squeezing him extra tight. 

“Yeah,” he smiled down at you, “We’ll be just fine.”

#dabi #dabi headcanons #dabi x you #dabi x reader #dabi fluff #dabi angst #dabi bnha #dabi imagine #dabi oneshot #dabi drabble #mha headcanons #mha fluff #mha angst #dabi mha #mha imagines #mha oneshot #the neighbourhood #lyrics #song inspired

[thisdreamplace]

Im sad nd m feeling hopeless byond woeds. i feel directionless , alone nd..... very upset about everything in my life

Like yesterday i tried to talk to my mum abt somethng that was bothering me nd instead, she gets so much madder like she has high bp and her bp went up from yelling the crud outa me, like the only explanation other than eiyoo is she got defensive nd felt i was being ungrateful, i mean everyone else in the family stays silent and dont step forward i feel abandoned sometimes like maybe they're secretly glad shes not mad at them? Im sick of feeling this way. Idk if u know this feeling? Im not talking abt her my mum but i mean abt life in general? One real reason my mum is harsh is cuz im not doing well in life, like im not going places i want to (not literal places like metaphoricaly) bcuz of fear and social anxiety that no one ariynd me has a teeny idea of what its like. So im aware that she wants the best for me cuz i understand the everyone is u cincepf a bit. Even then its been years of same things nd issues repeating with me. For example m feeling like im gonna crack one day and when i break forever i don't even want to pick up my pieces!

Im so happy to hear ur doing wonderfully. Nd a part of me felt angry at it for a short while lol honestly like how come things are effortlesly going for u as u say, why cant i how can i experience it too, even tho my inner place is a nightmare place 😆 not a dreamplace like urs. I actually lov ur blog nd you lol dont mind me im just throwing out my thoughts, nd I fully understand how things weren't easy for u in the beginning nd everything u say on ur blog. Wish i could be brave nd not in my mind only

💀 nightmare place

i feel sad that you feel so down because life seems like its against you and you're feeling hopeless. its truly the worst to be in that sort of mindset, and i truly know you can find your way out of it. i'm glad you felt safe throwing out your thoughts here.

the truth of the matter is... the law can be difficult in the way that you really have to be willing to take responsibility for yourself. you really have to be willing to stop feeling sorry for yourself. you really have to be the one to pick yourself up and say, "enough is enough, i cant live like this anymore — i have to do better for myself." the truth is you have to want it more than you want to stay in your comfort zone. because if you dont, your comfort zone will always be waiting to invite you back in. and you will always answer the call. i would know, i lived like that most of my life. because the old way of life is comforting, its what youve always known so it makes more sense to you. you rationalize it, "this is the way things have always been." well guess what. it doesnt have to be that way. but i cant make you change your mind. only you can take that leap of faith.

you have to be willing to change before anyone and anything else does. no more waiting for life to treat you better so that you can finally feel good, you have to feel better with or without the help of the 3D.

when you say it made you angry to see how i'm doing well, i understand. i used to be similar. success stories were bittersweet. i felt happy for the person, but upset that i couldnt relate. why was everyone else able to make the law work in weeks and yet it had been months for me, and things just didnt seem to work ? why me ? that's the way i used to think.

well one day you'll look back at this type of moment and it'll all make sense. you seriously cannot keep being the same person, thinking the same thoughts and same feelings you have for years, thinking you'll get a new result. it's the opposite of what the law teaches us to be true. you've got to change and i mean really change. you must let the old story die and let the new story become your life, entirely.

you can brush off my struggle easily, but realize this. everyday i wake up and make the conscious decision to wake up and have a beautiful experience. a month ago i literally hit rock bottom; everything in the 3D i cared about so much seemed to fall apart. and i had to face that and still find the strength to say, "you know what, fuck this — i can't keep living this way." without the help of the 3D i had to pick myself up everyday, even when i felt like crumbling. i had more than my fair share of crying all day, of feeling like my heart would literally come out because of how hard i cried. considering that maybe life isnt for me after all, and perhaps i would be better off ending it there. i didnt have anything in the external world to give me hope. i had to find hope within myself. i had to look at a world that made me feel so ugly and decide its actually a beautiful world, despite the illusion. i had to take the law seriously, i had to surrender to the teachings, i had to make the art of imagining a daily practice because i decided i deserve better. and only i can give that to myself. the world cannot provide me with anything i refuse to provide myself with — this is the basics of the law. and through persistence, through not giving up on myself on the hard days, i am now singing a much more beautiful song.

when you fully accept that 1) imagining creates reality and 2) you are the only cause for all you experience... it becomes difficult to not take this more seriously. because you know how whatever you are/have within, is your experience. but you have to surrender to those truths, its up to you. i'd recommend listening to the podcast 'feeling twisty' if you're interested in what i'm saying here. mike is really the one who's explanation of the law helped me learn the importance of taking responsibility for my inner world.

im rooting for you sweet, dream place. behind the illusion of the nightmare, a dream awaits. 💖

#i am

[tryingsomethingoutidkyet]

Christmas w/ the bakusquad: what are their jobs/ skills

Kaminari:

- kami loves Christmas,it’s one of his favorite times of the year. he has friends, food, family and gifts.

- what’s not to love?

- for reasons that don’t need to be explained,he’s in charge of lights display

- you know those competitions they have during the holidays to see which house has the prettiest lights display?

- kami has been doing those with his family since he was like 4

- he’s a fucking pro and he will always have the prettiest house

- once made a nightmare before christmas theme and embarrassed all of his neighbors

- compliment him on his skill and he will get so happy

- when they first got to the dorms he insisted that UA got a Christmas lights budget because he wanted to decorate the 1A building

- the first person he went to about it was aizawa and aizawa sent him to principal nezu because he wasn’t dealing with that shit

- to aizawa suprise he got his way

- kaminari’s secret? threaten to do an in depth interview with the press about how many times his class alone had to fight villains

- yes he had evidence and yes he had bakups

- kaminari is a little shit

Sero:

- BITCH

- Y’ALL DONE HAD Y’ALL FUN IT’S HIS TURN NOW

- he fucking loves the holidays because it’s his time to shine

- no one appreciates him like they should

- so when his name is suddenly in everybody’s mouth he gets a little smug

- he helps wrap presents

- and decorates the dorms

- and with the help of uraraka,keeps kaminari stable on the roof when putting up lights

- he’s super good at all three don’t worry

- he takes his contributions to Christmas very seriously

- he puts so much effort into wrapping presents and they always turn out so nice and neat

- which is half the reason why everyone comes to him for present wrapping

- because he wraps presents he knows what everyone is getting and he won’t tell no matter how many times kaminari asks

- when it comes to decorating this man goes all out

- he’s had a plan for months and it will be followed to a T

- makes the everything feel so joyful and festive

- you can’t help but feel at home when you enter the dorms

- seriously everything is so nice

- pls let him know

- sero is a big reason why Christmas is wonderful at UA🥰

Bakugou:

- you mean he gets to spend all day surrounded by friends and family?

- wack

- he really doesn’t like the holidays and feels like everyone is more annoying than usual

- if he hears jingle bells one more time he’s going to commit murder

- every part of Christmas pisses him off. the holiday music, the decorations, the commercials

- besides the gift giving

- don’t tell anyone but he actually looks forward to exchanging gifts with everyone

- not because he secretly loves his friends and family or anything

- he does but that’s not why

- bakugou likes exchanging gifts with everyone because he’s really good at it

- like this man is a gift giving legend

- knows exactly what to get you without having to ask

- I feel like bakugou kinda sees it as a competition for who can give the best present

- so of course he’s gonna put a lot of thought and effort into what he gives everyone

- some may call it being a good friend but bakugou calls it pure fucking talent

- he gets so smug every time someone opens his gifts because he knows it’s gonna be great

Jirou:

- as casual as she tries to be about it, christmas is her favorite holiday

- when she was her parents always gave her the coolest instruments for Christmas and would teach her how to play them

- which is why she’s such a prodigy now

- Jirou is in charge of music

- I feel like she explores different genres of music so she definitely has no problems finding unique christmas songs so things won’t get repetitive

- much to bakugou’s relief

- she finds songs for Mina to do christmas caroling

- she gets shy when sharing the things she likes with other people so it makes her happy that everyone appreciates her music taste

Mina:

- Mina has loved Christmas since she was a kid

- as a child she would always do a cute song and dance for her family on Christmas

- and her performances only become more elaborate as she gets older

- I feel like Mina has younger siblings and she 100% makes them be the backup dancers to her performances

- putting on a show has always been minas thing

- which is why she is now in charge of the class 1A Christmas carolers

- no you’re not allowed to back out

- she’s wants to do caroling to unique christmas songs and only trusts jirou to find songs good enough to perform

- has everyone ready in about two days

- don’t ask her how she did it just know she did

- and stop asking why bakugou’s now afraid of extension cords because he’s not allowed to tell

- but seriously, Mina always puts on a great show

Shinso:

- shinso doesn’t really care about christmas

- it’s not for any particular reason, he’s fine with the holiday all in all

- he just doesn’t prefer it

- but since he’s been taking mineta’s place in class after he got kidnapped for ransom by the LOV(they can’t afford to get him back it’s not in the budget)shinso has been adopted by the bakusquad

- and now he must “contribute to the family” as Mina says

- he decided to do something simple and just give everyone a piece of candy everyday for the whole month of December

- there’s no effort and not much though but he is contributing so everyone can leave him alone about it

- but hooooo boy he didn’t expect that people would actually care

- after his first three days of just leaving candy on everyone’s desk before class every just started giving him gifts back

- he shows up on the 4th day and sees his desk covered

- he gets like 4 thank you notes, some really cozy socks, a pikachu plushie and a box of fancy cheeses

- he cried a little but don’t tell anyone

- he showed up on the 5th day with cupcakes

Kirishima:

- kirishima loves christmas, it’s the best time of the year for him

- everything feels so festive and kirishima being the naturally happy person he is always gets sucked into the holiday

- the best part of christmas for kirishima was always the stocking stuffers

- his favorite memory as a kid is sneaking out of his room at night to take treats from the stockings and run back before he was caught

- his parents always knew but kirishima was such a cute kid he just got away with it

- kirishima’s made personalized stockings for everyone in 1A to open up on christmas eve

- he worked so hard on it pls

- and he’s not good with gifts either so this man was stressed

- he’s running around all month trying to find something that everyone will like

- after he tried to fight a 12 year old in the middle of a department store for a mini puzzle he had to stop and evaluate his life choices

- honestly y’all he thought he failed at getting everyone the perfect gift so he just hoped they wouldn’t be too harsh about it

- he beat himself up over it so much because he just wanted his peers to know he appreciates them

- imagine his surprise when he managed to get everyone something they’d enjoy

- really it was just a fluke but everyone seemed to enjoy what he got so he lets it go

- a few honorable mentions for his special gifts are a pocket knife he got bakugou which he seemed too happy to have, the sleep mask he gave aizawa, and $20 dollars for uraraka ( he gave up at that point but she seemed happy so 🤷🏾‍♀️)

///////////////

Can you tell I rushed through halfway? Honestly I’m not very happy with this but I’m posting anyways because it took forever to finish.

#bakusquad #shinso hitoshi #jirou kyouka #sero hanta #mina ashido #kirishima eijirou #kaminari denki #bakugou katsuki #uraraka slander #is so funny to me #sero headcanons #sero simps hmu

[edendaphne]

“Discordant Sonata”- Ch. 15

Have some quarantine reading material!!

>>Read it here on Ao3<< >>Read it here on Wattpad<< 

CHAPTER 15: BRAVURA

Music glossary:       Bravura - (from Italian “bravery/spirit”) Style of music in which the performer plays boldly, requiring exceptional agility and technical skill in execution.

 (Mood music: “For the Love of a Princess” - James Horner )

Sunday Evening

Marinette knocked on the guest bedroom door, or rather, on Chat Noir’s bedroom door, as it had now officially become.

“Come in! It’s open,” she heard from the other side.

Marinette’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

Odd, she thought. For someone who was supposed to be guarding a secret identity at all costs, one would think that Chat would always keep the door locked. First the “bathroom incident” and now this? She wondered what his aversion to locked doors was all about.

Marinette peeked her head into the room and saw him at his desk, writing in a notebook.

“Hey Kitt–uhh, Chat Noir, dinner will be ready in a minute. Would you care to join us?”

Chat’s cat ears perked up. “I’d love to! Thanks! I’ll help set the table in a sec.”

“What are you up to?” she asked, sitting at the edge of his bed.

Chat swiveled his chair around to face her. “Oh, it’s...” he grimaced, rubbing the back of his neck to ease the stiffness there. “I was doing some calculations, figuring out a monthly budget and that kind of thing. Trying to figure out how much all my bills will cost.”

“Me-owch,” Marinette cringed. “Sounds suuuuper fun.”

“Yeah, definitely,” he replied with matching sarcasm. “It’s actually been more complicated than I thought.”

“How so?” she asked.

He let out a long sigh. “Well… this is gonna sound weird, but my father as a civilian is, uh… pretty well-known. There’s a lot of people who would recognize me. Any potential employers would be getting in contact with him, asking him questions, or even give him an idea of where to find me. So I can’t apply to jobs as my normal self.” He ran his gloved hand through his hair in exasperation. “But where could I possibly get a job as ‘Chat Noir’?? ‘He’ can’t start a bank account, has no birth certificate, driver’s license, address, phone number. I’d have to get hired under the table, but I might run into some shady people. They might take advantage of the situation, and there’d be nothing I could do to contest them. Or they might try to use me to get free advertisement, and then my father would know where to find me anyway. Ugh, it’s all just a mess,” he groaned. “Anyway, thanks for letting me vent. I’m sure I’ll figure something out, so don’t worry.”

Marinette hummed, thinking. “Well, actually…” she said, tapping her chin. “Since the school year’s starting up again, a couple of our full-timers are switching to part-time to accommodate their university schedules; so the bakery will need some extra help. Obviously you wouldn’t be able to work at the front of the store, attending to customers and whatnot. But there’s still cleaning, washing, and heavy lifting that needs to be done behind the scenes. So if that sounds alright with you, we can talk to my parents about it. I’m sure they’d be happy to have you aboard.”

“Really??” Chat’s head shot up and he chirped excitedly, accidentally dropping his pen in the process. “Th-that would be great! I’ll work really hard, promise! Are you sure it would be okay?”

“Don’t worry, I’m sure they’ll say yes! My mom’s already taken quite a liking to you; she’s always talking about how polite and sweet you are.” Chat’s ears perked up and his cheeks reddened upon hearing this, which she found much too adorable. “And I’m sure my dad’s slowly coming around; I can tell, even though he’s stubborn.” She reached over and squeezed his hands. “I’ll put in a good word for you,” she said with a wink.

“You will?!” he replied with a laugh. “Best job reference ever!!” He hopped out of his chair, then bent over and wrapped her up into a tight hug. “You’re the best, Marinette. Seriously.”

She shook off her initial surprise and squeezed back, smiling wide.

“Anything for a friend.”

Dinnertime went over even better than Marinette had hoped. When the subject of a job was broached, Marinette’s mother took to the idea immediately and, citing the need for some extra muscle, eventually managed to win over her father.

Thus, they hired Chat Noir on the spot for part-time work, adding a few extra household chores in lieu of charging him rent. Marinette could hardly contain herself when she saw Chat’s face as he heard that; he looked like he’d won the lottery. And if anyone else had noticed how his eyes got misty and his voice began to quiver as he thanked them, nobody had mentioned it.

After dinner, Marinette invited Chat Noir upstairs to her bedroom, saying she needed help picking out the perfect outfit for her first day back to school. Truth be told, she really did need to choose an outfit; but it was mostly an excuse to hang out with him and serve as a distraction from his stressful circumstances.

Behind his cheerful smile and never ending stream of jokes, he always carried such a lonesome air about him. She’d never noticed it until that first night; the night they danced during the ballroom akuma attack. Or rather, she’d never allowed herself to open up to the possibility that he might be suffering. It would have made fighting him much more difficult had she known.

But as they swayed to the music that night, she could feel the melancholy in his voice, how it seemed to be yearning for more, and she couldn’t ignore it anymore.

It was shocking to her; mind-blowing, even. Not the same shock as one might get from a slap in the face, but rather like she’d woken up from a deep sleep. And yet, even then, she never could have anticipated how things would’ve unraveled from that day forward. They had come a long way, and there was still much more ahead of them.

In any case, he was sure to appreciate an evening goofing around with his new roommate, to get his mind off of both his superhero problems and his civilian worries.

“So, what do you think?” she asked as she peered into her closet. “Classy? Trendy? Girly? Vintage? Boho chic?”

Chat furrowed his brows, cocking his head in uncertainty. “I dunno… You’d look great in anything! Just close your eyes and grab something, and voila!”

She wrinkled her nose at him. “What if I grab my fuzzy, pink bathrobe?”

“You’d look great in that too! ‘Comfy chic’, the newest trend on all the cat- walks!” he grinned cheekily.

She rolled her eyes. “Oh come on, you dork, be serious! I wanna look good!”

“But you already look good!” he said, lifting his arms and motioning up and down her entire length for emphasis. “You’d even look good in a burlap sack. I mean it! You’re really cute, Marinette! Besides, it’s not like you need to impress anybody. Everyone already loves you.”

She felt her cheeks warm up at the praise he gave so freely. “I-I… th-that’s sweet of you to say. B-but I wasn’t trying to fish for compliments or anything. I just… want to look a little extra nice. Maybe even stand out a little bit, that’s all,” she added more quietly, fiddling with the hem of her shirt.

Chat paused and forward on the chaise. “Hang on,” he said, narrowing his eyes at her. “Marinette... ARE you trying to impress someone? Someone special, maybe?”

Marinette made a startled noise that would best be described as a squawk and whipped back around to face the inside of her closet. “Uhh, NOPE! Nope, nope. Not at all! What makes you say that?!”

Wow, Marinette, very convincing, she groaned inwardly.

Despite her stammering and weak attempts at protesting, Chat exclaimed with a gasp, “So there IS someone!”

He hopped off the chaise towards her, trying to get a peek at her reddened face. “So who is it?? Would I know them? Are you in the same grade, or just the same school? Do they already know you like them? How did you two meet?”

Marinette let out a long screech, rushing away from the closet towards her vanity desk and plopped down on the chair, dropping her head onto the table with a small thunk.

Chat practically glided across to where she’d sat and put his hands on her shoulders, squeezing gently. “Our little Marinette has a crush on someone~!” he crooned in a sing-song voice. “That’s so romantic! You’ll invite me to your wedding, won’t you?”

Marinette let out another long, muffled groan, which only spurred him on, becoming giddy like a small child who’d been given a pile of candy.

He’s never going to stop now that he knows, is he? she bemoaned, cursing her inept, awkward self.

Foregoing any further attempts at denial, she decided to just be honest with him. After all, Alya knew about her crush, and so did her other gal friends. She could confide in Chat too; especially since they were going to be living with each other from now on. Surely there was no harm in him knowing. It’s not like he’d go around blabbing it to anyone. She knew him better than that.

She sighed heavily, not bothering to hoist up her head, which felt like it weighed as much as a boulder at the moment. “He’s a classmate,” she replied in deadpan.

“A classmate, huh?” Chat repeated, voice full of wonder. “That’s so adorable! What else can you tell me about him? Is he cute?”

“Gorgeous,” she replied, with perhaps more emphasis than she intended. “And thoughtful and gentle and kind. A little awkward and nerdy, but friendly and optimistic to a fault. He’s practically perfect. At least, perfect in all the ways that matter to me, anyhow. I’ve known him for a few years, and I’ve been in lov– I MEAN… I’ve had a crush on him pretty much since we first met.”

Sensing her shift in tone, Chat dropped all the playfulness in his voice and asked in earnest, “W-wait… D-did you say… in love?”

Marinette let out a long, pitiful whine, grabbing the hair by the sides of her head and covering her face with it like a tent, trying to hide her eternal shame.

“I can’t believe I just said that…” she moaned wretchedly, very much wishing she could shrink to the size of a mouse right now. “Can you just cataclysm me and pretend you didn’t hear that, please?”

“Wait, so that means…” Chat interrupted, his brows scrunched. “He doesn’t know how you feel about him?”

She shook her head, or rather, kind of shuffled it back and forth on the table’s surface. “I’ve always been too afraid to say anything to him. I never wanted things to become weird between us, so I’ve always just… not taken the risk. He always just kinda… seemed to need a friend more than he needed a relationship, y’know? And I didn’t want to take that away from him. From us.”

Chat paused for a moment, pondering her words. “But what if he feels the same way?” he countered. “Wouldn’t you rather get it off your chest and find out for sure?”

Marinette hesitated, turning her head sideways. “Have you ever liked someone you were too afraid to lose?” she replied quietly.

She could hear Chat’s breath hitch, but he didn’t respond. She wondered if that was something he’d been worrying about as well. He’d never confessed to Ladybug about his own crush; but was that merely due to shyness, or from not wanting to complicate their relationship and their duties as superheroes? Would he jeopardize it?

Chat was a romantic at heart; of that she was certain, judging from his taste in media and books, from their late night conversations, and especially from what Plagg had told her a few days ago.

However, despite his playful flirtatiousness towards her as Ladybug, he’d never verbally expressed any serious interest in a romantic relationship. She could only assume he wanted to keep things as friendly and professional as possible, in order to work on strengthening their relationship as a team, instead of risking a fallout.

Or, at least, that’s what she’d started to tell herself. Everything in her brain was a terrible jumble. Especially after hearing about Chat’s family situation the night before, after the akuma attack. Ladybug had finally learned about Chat’s mother, Hawkmoth’s wife, and things were way more complicated than she could have ever imagined.

Chat Noir had introduced a variable of unpredictability in her life, and she was still trying to sort out her own growing feelings towards him. Were these merely feelings of protectiveness, or was it something else? Had she been projecting her desire for Adrien onto Chat? She didn’t think so, and yet, she’d never experienced anything like this before. How could she know for sure?

Unrequited love felt awful, but at least it was fairly straightforward. Trying to figure out her thoughts and feelings when adding another person into the jumble was frustratingly confusing.

In addition, Hawkmoth’s cruel words from the akuma attack echoed in her head despite trying to dispel them countless times. They resonated within her, trying to worm their way into her brain to plant undeserving guilt and shame. Accusations of taking advantage of Chat; of blind infatuation; of festering doubts and lack of trust.

Not to mention the elephant in the room: the giant, seemingly impenetrable wall of having to hide their identities from each other, which prevented them from being able to grow closer.

Pursuing a romantic path with him right now would not be prudent.

Especially since she was still in love with Adrien.

UGH. She was in love with Adrien. Why had she allowed herself to fall for him?!? Why did he have to be so darn wonderful, so awfully talented, so ridiculously considerate?!

The uncomfortable feeling of embarrassment slithered down her spine once again, traveling all the way from her head to her toes. How could she possibly face Chat Noir now that he knew what a coward she was?

Moments passed and neither of them had broken the ice. She supposed she should be the one to do it, since she was the one that had made things awkward in the first place.

Before she could say anything, however, she felt Chat’s hands settle on her shoulders, and he gently pulled her up into a sitting position. He gazed at her reflection in the mirror, a kind smile painted on his handsome face that she couldn’t help but feel her face flush. His emerald green eyes were so piercing, so sincere, which caused a multitude of butterflies to swarm in her chest despite her having banned them.

Bringing his arms in front of her, he draped a colorful garment across her collarbones so it would cascade all the way down to her lap. Apparently she’d been too busy internally freaking out that she hadn’t even heard him rummaging around in her closet.

“How about this top?” he asked softly. “The cut of the neck will draw attention to your jawline, especially if you wear your hair down, so the sides can frame your facial features. And if you wear this necklace here-” he said as he lifted the accessory from her vanity table, “-it will emphasize your blue eyes very nicely. For bottoms, I’d either go with some dark-wash skinny jeans paired with low heels, or a skirt with a bright pattern and some close-toed flats. Keeping it simple is best, in my opinion. Clean and sophisticated.”

Wait… what?? How did he–

Marinette hadn’t even noticed her jaw had dropped until Chat closed it gently with his index finger, her teeth coming back together with a soft clink.

“You should ask him out. This mystery person,” he added. “You never know what’ll happen. He’ll either like you back, or he won’t. But at least you’ll know, and whatever happens afterwards, it’ll mean you can move on.”

She held the shirt in place with her own hands, but never broke eye contact with him through the mirror. “Would you do the same?” she asked quietly.

Chat looked away, cheeks darkening. He rubbed the back of his neck and sighed deeply. “Someday, perhaps. But… I’m not ready yet. Maybe once I become a better person. Somebody worthwhile.”

She turned around to face him, studying his expression. A weight settled uncomfortably in her gut, urging her to fix it, FIX IT!!

But fix what?! Fix it how?? She didn’t know; but she had to try regardless.

She stood up, setting the garment down on the chair, then practically stomped over to him. Chat looked a bit taken aback at how close she’d gotten, his eyes widening in confusion. She threw her arms around his torso, pulling him as close as physically possible without literally merging together. She laid her head on his chest, relishing the sound of his heart thumping in his chest.

“You dumdum. You’re already amazing. Anybody would consider themselves lucky to be loved by you.”

She felt him freeze up, unsure of what to make of this sudden and almost aggressive display of affection. But a beat later he relaxed, practically melting into her embrace and hugged back just as tightly.

He laid his own head on top of hers, a motion that still felt so comforting and so familiar; and yet she couldn’t figure it out. Whenever she would come close to making a discovery, the thought would slip away, as if by magic.

Or, come to think of it, most likely because of magic. His mannerisms and speech were so familiar, and yet she couldn’t place where she knew them from, or whom they matched up with. Chat had said that they knew each other outside of the costume, so surely that was why they felt so familiar. But the glamour of his miraculous was quite efficient in protecting his identity; therefore, despite teetering at the edge of her recognition, she still could not identify him. She supposed that was for the best, even if it was maddening.

“I wish I could believe that. I really do,” he murmured sadly, interrupting her train of thought.

She nuzzled her head into him. “Stop being so hard on yourself. Life doesn’t revolve around achievements or some arbitrary measurement of greatness. Being you is enough.”

“I... don’t really know how to stop thinking that way, to be honest,” he said with a shrug.

Marinette let go of him and took a small step back, eyes sparkling with mischief. “Well, it’s too bad you don’t have a choice, then. ‘Cause from now on, you’re officially enrolled in the Dupain-Cheng self-esteem boot camp, where you learn to be nice to yourself… or else, I’ll kick your ass!” she said, poking him lightly on the chest.

His eyes popped open for a moment, then he threw his head back and laughed. “I believe it!” he said, squeezing his arms around her once again. “I’ll do my best to meet your expectations and avoid all the ass-kicking, sensei! Bring on Du PAIN!”

She let out a snort and giggled, looking up at him from her lower height.

Her gaze softened once again, then added, “By the way... thanks for your help, and for your advice, Minou.”

Chat chuckled at the term of endearment, and Marinette’s brain froze.

How could she forget?? Again. She wasn’t Ladybug right now. Marinette didn’t have nicknames for Chat.

Before she could backpedal, Chat leaned down to kiss her forehead, then replied, “Anytime, Mari.”

She relaxed again and gave him one last squeeze, unable to contain a giant, satisfied grin.

She released him so she could return to the task of getting ready for school tomorrow. She asked, “Will it really be okay for you to go to school? Won’t it be risky, since your father will know where you are?”

Chat let out a thoughtful hum. “He’s a pretty powerful person, but even he can’t walk into the school and drag me out of there in front of everyone. I should be okay, as long as I’m always around other people.”

“Well… if you say so,” she said, crinkling her eyebrows. “You’ve got my cell phone number, so call me if anything ever pops up and I’ll be there in a jiffy, no matter where you are.”

Chat smiled at her fondly. “Thank you.”

She smiled back. “Come on. Let’s go watch a movie downstairs. It’s our last day to be certified couch potatoes and I’m not gonna pass it up.”

Chat winked. “Aye aye, Captain Spud! Lead the way!”

(Mood music: “The Chairman’s Waltz” - John Williams (Memoirs of a Geisha OST)

Monday Morning

Chat Noir landed on the roof of the school without a sound, eyes darting around the perimeter to verify that no one was present at this hour. Upon seeing that the coast was clear, he slinked towards the door that led inside the building.

He tried the doorknob. Locked, as expected. He detransformed, and without a word, Plagg phased through the door. It clicked, then Adrien slipped inside.

Heart thumping, he shifted his backpack and continued down the rooftop stairwell until he reached a hallway. It was empty, although that didn’t do much for his nerves. Getting caught on campus before the school opened would mean getting asked questions he would rather not have to answer.

Adrien wasn’t a rule-breaker. He was courteous, mild-mannered, and above all, obedient. He did things by the book. Or, at least... he did as Adrien . Chat Noir was another story altogether.

Trying to shake off his jitters, Adrien took a deep breath and tried to summon the playful part of him that enjoyed more mischievous types of activities.

There wasn’t much for him to do for the next couple of hours but to wait until people slowly trickled into the school. He decided to occupy himself by organizing his locker, so he stepped out into the common area from the dark hallway and carefully crept to the locker rooms downstairs.

As it turned out, it was a good thing he checked it before anyone was around, for the loud gasp he let out as he discovered its contents would have surely attracted the attention of the entire room.

Inside the locker was a duffel bag full of belongings– his belongings: his passport and birth certificate, his wallet, some clothes, his favorite blue scarf, a photograph of his mother; school supplies and stationary, a brand new laptop, and an indistinct burner phone.

There was no written note, no card, no name left behind. The only identifier provided was a picture of an black and red butterfly on it.

A butterfly? Surely this couldn’t be a gift from Gabriel Agreste. He’d never be this thoughtful, not in a million years.

He studied the picture, flipping it over for more clues, and found some small text on the back.

“Scarlet Peacock Butterfly”, the caption said. “A vivid red and black butterfly that ostensibly poses as another toxic species in order to deceive predators.”

Adrien gasped.

A fake.

Could it be…?

Adrien’s fingers trembled as he picked up the phone. It was an older model flip phone. He opened it.

It had a single phone number saved in its contacts.

He selected the number, fingertip hovering over the “call” button. With a shaky breath, he pressed it. And waited.

A few agonizingly long seconds passed. Then the ringing stopped; someone had picked up.

Adrien’s breath hitched and he gulped. He couldn’t help the crack in his voice as he whispered hesitantly into the phone.

“...Nathalie?”

(Mood Music: “L’Indifference” - Café Accordion Orchestra)

For once, Marinette Dupain-Cheng managed to make it to school on time, having set her alarm for an earlier time just to make sure. Tardiness always seemed to be her calling card, but she was determined to not let this happen today; not after all her preparations from the night before.

And so she walked into her first class, happy to see a room full of (mostly) friendly faces. Alya smiled at her from her desk across the room, waving her over enthusiastically. Marinette returned the smile and headed towards her.

She gave a wide berth to Lila and their teacher, who stood by the door. The new teacher listened, enraptured, about the stylish Italian girl’s most recent trip to the Malagasy islands and how she single-handedly founded a lemur rescue organization. Marinette fought the urge to roll her eyes and quietly passed them by, without challenging the validity of her claims.

Not today, she told herself. Not on the first day of school.

On her way towards her best friend, Marinette also walked past Chloe Bourgeois, her former bully. They made eye contact and gave each other a brief nod.

“Chloe,” Marinette greeted her plainly.

“Dupain-Cheng,” Chloe acknowledged in return, then turned her full attention back to her phone, vigorously texting someone with a dragon profile picture.

Marinette couldn’t quite call Chloe her friend, though they were definitely more than just acquaintances. They’d come to a sort of unspoken truce a couple of years back. They’d both done some growing up these past few years, and for that, Marinette was grateful. Especially since this arrangement made it possible for them to remain mutual friends with Adrien.

Marinette went up the steps to where her best friend sat, and they greeted each other with a hug.

“Hey, Alya! No Nino?”

“Nah, looks like we only have three classes together this year, bummer.” Alya shrugged. “But that means I get to sit next to my Mari-bean!”

Marinette noticed a markedly cheery-looking Adrien entering the classroom, only to be stopped by Lila at the door, who flipped her hair theatrically and batted her exaggeratedly long (and most likely false, hmmph!) eyelashes at him.

She decided to ignore it and turned around to fully face her wavy-haired friend. “So, how was your weekend? Did you and your aforementioned husbando do anything fun?” she asked with a knowing smile.

Alya’s cheeks darkened, but she tried to cover up her blushing by pretending to adjust her hair. “Well, we did get ahold of the new Super Pinguino III. You’ll have to play it sometime and try to beat our high score.”

Marinette giggled. “I dunno, that might be the one game where I’ll never be able to beat you.”

“Well, we’ll just have to see about that,” she gave her a wide smile in return. She exclaimed (rather loudly even by her standards), “By the way, Marinette! Your outfit looks AMAZING! Don’t you think so too, Adrien?”

Marinette’s eyes widened and she whipped around to realize Adrien was headed their way. Her face felt like she was sticking it inside a furnace, and suddenly she felt quite naked, wanting nothing more than to hide in a dark corner somewhere rather than display the outfit she’d meticulously chosen the night before. What if it was too much? What if she was overdressed? What if everyone could tell she was trying too hard? What if it was way too last-season and not avant-garde enough? Or what if it was too avant-garde and she should have dressed more conservatively?! What if–

Adrien’s eyes met hers and he gave her the brightest, broadest, most radiant smile, so stunning it should be illegal, so resplendent that it caused her brain to suddenly fizzle.

“Absolutely! You look beautiful, Marinette,” he said, his voice so earnest and sincere that Marinette felt she might combust on the spot.

Marinette wasn’t sure how long she’d been standing there, mouth agape, feeling like her feet were no longer touching the ground, when Alya nudged her with her elbow, coaxing her to reply.

And reply she did. Or at least, she tried; for only for a brief noise somewhere between a croak and a squeak managed to emerge from her throat.

“Uhh, I think Marinette means ‘Thank you,” Alya replied helpfully.

Marinette nodded enthusiastically. “Y-YES!! That’s right!! Th-thank you, Adrien!” she stammered, forcing the air out of her lungs.

Adrien beamed at her. “It’s great to see you guys again. I’m really glad we have our first class together this year. It’ll be a great way to start off the day.”

He waved goodbye to them, then walked to sit at the empty seat next to Chloe, who greeted him with a loud, happy squeal and friendly cheek kisses, then proceeded to talk rapidly about a subject way too complex for Marinette’s current brain-dead state of gleeful stupefaction.

And most definitely too dumbstruck to notice the daggers Lila was glaring at her from across the room.

(Mood Music: “Closer Than Sisters” - Abel Korzeniowski )

Marinette’s mind managed to rejoin her body sometime around halfway through their first period, and the remainder of her classes went by without a hitch. There was a lot of chatter and gossiping about Ladybug and Chat Noir, and whether they were actually working together or if it was some sort of elaborate publicity stunt. Conspiracy theories abounded, but for the most part it was merely curious conjecture. Ladybug had always worked alone, so what would this mean for the city? Would she finally defeat Hawkmoth now that she was no longer outnumbered?

Alya, of course, was utterly buzzing with excitement about these recent developments. Marinette wasn’t quite sure she’d be able to stand all her wild speculations and hypothetical questions; so it was both a shame and a relief that they only had two classes together this school year.

Despite the mental toll that hearing all these conjectures took on her, Marinette was still in high spirits by her last class of the day.

Or so she’d thought, until her absolute favorite classmate made her way over to her desk, giving her a sickly saccharine smile that would put high fructose corn syrup to shame.

“Hi, Marinette,” she lilted in a hollow sing-song voice.

Marinette brought out her phone and pretended to look busy. “Hello, Lila.”

“Did you have a nice summer?” Lila asked.

As if you care, she thought. “It was peachy,” Marinette replied curtly.

Lila pouted. “You don’t sound too happy. I don’t suppose you’ve already heard?”

Marinette sighed. Might as well play along. “Heard what, Lila?”

Lila leaned into her personal space, which made unpleasant goosebumps rise on the back of Marinette’s neck. “Well, I don't suppose you and Adrien are close enough friends that he’s told you all about his secret girlfriend, right?” she said more quietly.

Marinette’s brain screeched to a halt, but she forced herself to keep typing into her phone. “And I suppose he's told you?”

Lila giggled coyly. “Oh, well, I’m not one to blab secrets around, but the poor dear’s just not very good at hiding those hickeys. A scarf and concealer can only do so much, you know.”

Marinette felt sick to her stomach, but she refused to indulge Lila into thinking that she actually believed her.

“Go away, Lila,” she hissed through gritted teeth.

“Don’t believe me? I can prove it-” she replied, with that false cheerfulness that always carried a secret smugness to it. “-as soon as he walks through the door. He’s told me his schedule, you know… We really are very good friends, he and I.” She lifted her head to look around. “Ah, there he is.”

Adrien walked into the classroom with Kim, joking and laughing together.

Lila waved them over, and Adrien smiled as they both walked towards them.

“Adrien, I was just talking to Marinette about our plans for the school year. What does your modeling schedule look like?” she asked, as she thumbed the fabric of his scarf. “This is the year before we graduate. Is your father going to ease up on the photo shoots? I do so remember how very busy you were last year,” she lamented with another fake pout.

Adrien replied, his voice harboring a tinge of nervousness as she ran her hands up and down the length of his scarf, “Uh, actually, I won’t be- uh, modeling. This year. To… prepare for university exams and whatnot.”

“No modeling gigs, you say? That’s awfully kind of him,” she replied sweetly, as she slowly pulled back and forth on the two sides of the scarf like a seesaw. “Letting you focus on your studies and whatnot.”

Before he could reply, Lila tripped sideways with a dainty yelp, yanking the scarf along with her, and she fell towards him. Adrien caught her and she wrapped her arms around his neck securely, the scarf falling onto the ground, forgotten by all.

All except for Marinette, of course.

“Lila, are you alright?” Kim cried, and Adrien weakly echoed the question.

“Oh… clumsy me… I’m still getting used to these new shoes. I haven’t quite broken them in yet, you see,” she remarked as he helped her up. “I mostly wore combat boots over the summer while helping build schools in Bali for impoverished children, so I guess you could say I’ve gotten out of the habit of wearing heels.”

Marinette got out of her seat to retrieve the fallen blue scarf. The scarf that she had made for him almost four years ago for his birthday. Lila’s tugging had rubbed the fabric against Adrien’s neck, and the center was stained with make-up the same tone as his skin. She gulped heavily, then looked up at him.

And there they were, peppered all over his neck: various small bruises below the sides of his jawline, barely noticeable, but still visible if you looked closely.

“Umm, here,” Marinette said numbly as she handed him back the scarf. His hesitant eyes met hers, and he looked guilty, as if all his secrets had been laid bare for her to see.

“Thank you,” he said, almost too soft for her to hear.

“Why, Adrien!” Lila said, feigning secrecy but still speaking louder than she should have been, had that been the case. “I know you said you didn’t have to model anymore, but you really ought to tell your girlfriend to take it easy when you guys make out.”

Adrien sounded genuinely puzzled. “Wait… Girlfriend? What are you talking about?”

Kim’s features scrunched up in confusion. His eyes traveled towards where Lila was looking, then his face lit up with excitement. “Dude, you got a girlfriend?? That’s amazing, congrats! When were you gonna tell us??”

“Huh? I don’t have–” Adrien tried to interject.

“Oh, no! I’m so sorry Adrien,” Lila pretended to realize she’d said too much. “I didn’t know you wanted to keep it a secret. How silly of me! Surely your father would take away your extra free time if he knew you were spending it with a girl instead of studying.”

Kim pumped his arms excitedly. “Don’t worry, bro! We can totally keep a secret! Right, Marinette?”

Marinette smiled weakly, trying her best to look cooperative, and nodded.

“So, tell us about her, Adrien! Tell us about this girl you love so much,” Lila prodded.

Adrien’s cheeks turned bright red. “W-well, she’s not actually my girlfriend, b-but–”

Kim waggled his eyebrows. “But does she want to be?” he asked playfully.

Adrien laughed, voice high and skittish, “Uhh, I-I don’t know… Umm– w-we’ll see what happens. I-I want to take things slow.”

“Do you like her?”

Adrien’s head whipped around. It was Marinette who’d asked the question, her voice soft and curious.

Her eyes searched his, sincerely seeking the knowledge she both yearned and dreaded to hear. Her heart clenched painfully in her chest, knowing that his answer could change everything.

And yet, she needed to know.

Adrien’s face softened, the corners of his mouth crinkling with the ghost of a smile, and his cheeks gained a more subdued shade of pink, which contrasted with the embarrassed shade of red he’d worn earlier.

“A lot,” he replied breathily, like a wistful sigh, like he’d rather be with his loved one than anywhere else in the world.

Marinette swallowed heavily, and she forced herself to smile. “I’m happy for you,” she said as earnestly as she could manage.

After all, Adrien’s happiness was always paramount. No matter the source.

Their conversation was cut short by the sound of the bell, and the group scattered into the surrounding seats. Lila gave Marinette one last self-satisfied smile before walking away; not that Marinette even noticed. Her body felt too numb, too limp, too weary to see or care. All she could see in her mind’s eye was the way Adrien’s eyes lit up when he talked about the person he cared for. It had been brief, but it had been enough. She’d seen it. She knew now.

Adrien Agreste was in love.

(Mood Music: “No One Knows Who I Am” - (Jekyll & Hyde, the musical) Frank Wildhorn)

The last period of the day went by more sluggishly than any other she’d ever experienced in her life. Marinette’s mind replayed that conversation a seemingly infinite amount of times by the time the bell rang and it was time to go home. She lethargically packed up her belongings and left the classroom.

Before she reached the locker room, however, a hand gently tapped her on the shoulder, and she turned around.

It was Adrien. Of course. It just had to be him.

He meekly asked if he could talk to her in private. She agreed. They stepped into an emptied room, and he looked around to make sure no one else was present.

“I’m… sorry about the awkwardness from before, Mari,” he muttered uneasily.

“It’s okay, I’m just sorry you got put on the spot,” she replied, twisting her hands together, her shoulders tense with discomfort.

He seemed to squirm a bit himself as he continued, “D-did… Did you see…?” He gestured towards his scarf.

Marinette froze and her gaze dropped to the ground. She couldn’t get herself to speak, so she nodded.

Adrien took a deep breath. “W-would it be too much trouble if I asked you to not tell anyone? Things could get really difficult for me if- if people were to find out.”

Marinette’s head bobbed up and down quickly. “I-it’s okay! I won’t say anything! I-I don’t want to get you into trouble. Anytime you need help, I’ll be here.”

Before she knew it, she was being pulled into a brief hug. She willed her arms to hug him back, although she couldn’t really feel her body right now.

Adrien let go of her and put his hands on her shoulders in reassurance. “I promise everything is going to be okay. Everything is fine now. Trust me. Thank you, Marinette.”

Marinette’s mouth smiled back, and she heard her own voice say, “Anytime.”

Adrien thanked her again, and opened the door to leave. “See ya tomorrow.”

“S-see you,” she called back.

The door closed behind him, and Marinette was left alone. Everything felt like it was steeped in a thick haze. As if she was stranded in a vast fog with no discernable way to go. She felt hollow, yet heavy, which didn’t make a single bit of sense. A gaping, empty hole where her chest was, ripped away suddenly and without warning.

Is this... is this what heartbreak feels like?

Chat landed on Marinette’s balcony and knocked on the hatch five times, as they’d previously agreed. He listened for any of the code phrases or sounds that they’d gone over and practiced. There was no answer, which could only mean that she wasn’t home yet. However, since the latch was always unlocked for him now that they were roommates, he had permission to enter.

He felt pretty silly wearing a backpack as Chat Noir, so he didn’t dally in her bedroom, and instead went to drop it off in his own room.

Chat wondered what could be going through Marinette’s head after she saw his bruising. Had she figured out that Gabriel was abusive? She’d agreed to trust him, so maybe she believed he’d been able to work out his home situation. Did she think he still lived back at the mansion?

He plopped face down on the sofa. UGH, this all sucked. He didn’t want to lie to her, but he couldn’t tell her the truth, either. She was the nicest girl, and all he’d been doing lately was be dishonest with her. Not without reason, but still. He felt horrible about it.

And she’d looked so out of it at the end of school. He wondered what might have happened to her, since she’d seemed in such high spirits at the beginning of the school day. And what was that weirdness with Lila all about?

He didn’t have to wonder long, because a few moments later, his cat ears perked up as he heard footsteps that led to the front door. He sat up and turned around, excitedly awaiting her arrival.

Marinette opened the door and entered the living area. She closed the door and silently set her backpack down. He got up to greet her, but something was wrong. Her whole aura was different. Even in the dim late afternoon light, Chat could see the weariness in her expression, the sadness in her posture.

“Mari…?”

Several long strides later and he was there, in front of her, holding her by the arms.

“Mari, what happened?!” he asked more urgently. “Are you okay??”

She looked up at him, her glassy blue eyes becoming damp. Then she crashed into him, gripping him like he was the only thing keeping her from sinking into a sea of quicksand.

She cried, and he held her. He was desperate to know what had happened, but he waited, stroking her hair, running his fingers through it soothingly, not pushing her, but always willing to listen.

Finally, after a few moments, she spoke. “There’s someone else,” she whispered simply.

Then he understood.

Chat held her, and she sobbed quietly, and together they slumped to the ground. She didn’t need words of comfort, or any reassurance that she didn’t need this guy, or to be told that she was too good for him, or that there were other fish in the sea. She didn’t need to be told any of those things. All they needed at this moment was each other. And that was enough.

#Miraculous Ladybug #Enemies AU #Marinette Dupain Cheng #Adrien Agreste #Chat Noir #Ladybug #Discordant Sonata #fanfiction #Eden writes #Marichat #Adrienette #Ladynoir