#she had permanent screws put in around her missing cheek so she could use them as anchors for the stitches holding it together

[wishing4nuclearwinter]

another quick art fight reference, this time of Jean

#realized I haven't ever shown the left side of her face (or at least publicly posted it) #she had permanent screws put in around her missing cheek so she could use them as anchors for the stitches holding it together #that way she can remove the stitches as needed but doesn't have to re-pierce the skin every time #you can see the tendons as well as bits of teeth/bone depending on the angle #fallout #fnv #ghoul #fallout ghoul #body horror #(maybe?) #jean tag #drawing4nuclearwinter

[checked-windows]

Stupid Smug Prefect Face

Also cross posted on ao3.

Spencer Reid x trans male reader

We see dad!hotch cause man is total dad material.

Warnings : swearing, suggestive themes, tw for depressive thoughts and I think that's everything!

Strauss was introducing a new agent today and emotions varied, they knew very little about them only that they were fresh out of the academy with one of the highest scores that they had seen. Rossi was almost vibrating with excitement when Strauss had accidentally let your name slip to him but had sworn him to secrecy.

They had gathered in the round table room in order to wait for her to bring you and she did. You walked next to her with your head held high, not a hair out of place, not a wrinkle on your dark grey suit. They started profiling you immediately. You were uncomfortable in the suit, it wasn't your usual atire and you were just wearing it to make a good impression. Age range was 20 to 35 roughly. You held yourself to high standards and would not allow for any sloppy work. As much as you stood tall you also had a slight hunch in your spine from what looked like years of slouching over.

"Stop profiling me" your voice snapped them out of their heads "Seriously, I'm an open book just ask me what you want to know."

"Tig" Rossi greeted taking your face in his hands kissing both of your cheeks before pulling you into a hug. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and squeezed.

"It's good to see you Dave" you said into his shoulder. Dave was only just taller than you but enough that he could see over your head.

"Sorry I'm late, budget meetings" a very familiar voice came from behind you. Your released Dave and spun around grinning.

"Suprise!" you exclaimed jumping at him. Aaron caught you easily smiling, wrapping you up in a hug, out of both men he had always given the best hugs.

"(y/n)!" he said laughing. Smiles on Hotch's face had come few and far between after Haley's death but he happily smiled at you "You never said anything"

"I wanted it to be able to surprise you for once" you answered shrugging finally letting him go. Aaron's hand stayed on your shoulder as Strauss introduced you to the rest of the team with a faint smile on her own face.

"This is Agent (y/n) (l/n), they'll be here for a while" she said and you snorted.

"Oh no you're stuck with me now. Please just call me Tig. These two do" you said pointing between Aaron and Dave or Hotch and Rossi while you were in the office. You had been there a few days before your first case, you had been at home with Aaron and Jack and hadn't quite managed to change out of the pants and shirt you had worn into work, due to the excitement that Jack brought with him, so that's what you wore back in, just with the top button undone and your hair pointing in everywhich angle from Jack playing with it while watching whatever movie it had been. Staying the night at Aaron's had started as a weekly occurance a year or so after you had met him, and you had moved in permanently after you had graduated from college and joined the academy.

"Ooh walk of shame, tiggy" Morgan called. You weren't entirely sure when he had changed your nickname but you rolled your eyes and smirked while Penelope went about flattening your hair back down in order to look more presentable.

"Aaron you should have said we were doing that I would have turned off the cartoons you said and got an eye roll from said man. The teams eyes widened comically." I'm kidding, it was movie night with Jack and I hadn't got changed yet"

"Was it the one with dragons again?" Dave asked.

"Yes" Aaron answered as you shrugged, he looked at you with a raised eyebrow.

"Your child had his hands in my hair I wasn't paying attention" you said with a lopsided smile which got you a shake of his head. Penelope gave everyone a run down but you felt your eyelids getting heavy about half way through. You weren't entirely sure how you got on the jet but there your were curled up on a chair next to Aaron, your face pressed against his arm, falling asleep to the voices around you. Completely missing the glare a certain doctor was sending you. The case went almost without a hitch. Almost. The unsub wasn't going down easily, you had profiled him as unorganised (the team had agreed) but he wasn't. He had led you all into a trap and when you had figured it out chose suicide by cop. Everyone else was getting ready to leave, which had left you and Reid to clear up the teams borrowed space.

"Well that could've gone better" you said trying to initiate conversation as well as lighten the mood.

"No thanks to you" Reid snapped and your eyes widened "I didn't realise you were that bad I don't know what Hotch was thinking getting you in here"

"I don't understand" you said meekly wringing your fingers.

"Everyone knows you're sleeping with Hotch to get here" Reid spat and left the room with an armful of boxes. You stared behind him tears pricking your eyes. You angry wiped at your eyes with your shirt sleeve and grabbed the other box. You sat shotgun next to Aaron on the way back to the jet only to seclude yourself as far away as possible when you got there. You should have known better than to get on a plane full of profilers upset but it was too late by this point. Aaron moved to sit opposite you laying a hand on your knee. You snatched your leg away from him.

"What's wrong?" he asked softly.

"Nothing. It's fine" you almost snapped at him, he raised an eyebrow but you shut down refusing to hold eye contact.

"(y/n) what's going on?" he asked again. You shook your head, hiding things from Aaron had never been easy, but he knew not to push too much. "We'll talk about this at home"

There was really no choice in the matter and you caught Reid's scowl this time. The conversation at home was just as bad as you imagined it would be. Aaron was furious at the accusation, he was shouting. Not at you just about the subject, demanding to know who had told you that. You never told him. You just said that it had been brought to your attention. You tried to keep it together but tears were streaming down your face. Out of both sadness and humiliation.

"Oh honey. Come here" Aaron stuck out his arms and you slid into them. Physical contact was your love language and hugs were like air for you, as well as being comforting for the situation. You slept in Aaron's bed that night but changed up your entire routine, arriving after him in the morning after making a flimsy excuse, not visiting his office randomly during the day when it was quiet, not joining him for lunch no matter how many times he asked. Aaron noticed immediately but didn't say anything instead he went to Rossi who gave him the obvious answer but that would open up a whole new can of worms. So he allowed you to distance yourself for a couple days. You just hoped he didn't notice the glares you and Reid shot at each other or the hurtful snarls of insults in passing or currently you unscrewing his chair as payback for him putting the sugar on the top shelf where he knew you couldn't reach it. Was it petty? Yes. Did you care? No.

You successfully got two screws out before Morgan knocked the desk in warning. Bouncing up from the floor you dropped the screw driver in your bag and the screws in your pocket. Reid sat at his chair and it creaked but did not give way, you frowned and put the two screws on his desk watching in almost delight as his face fell and horror replaced the relaxed features.

"(l/n), where are these from?" he asked sitting impossibly still.

"You figure it out genius" you said smirking, after a particularly hurtful comment about your intelligence you used the term genius more and more.

"Tig, please stop tormenting Reid" Aaron's voice sighed from your left but you just beamed at him. Not spending time with him was hard and seeing him with the same exasperated look he gave you when you had taught Jack the macerana was enough to make your day. Especially when you had worn a short sleeve shirt to work forgetting that your tattoo was now visible to everyone, Morgan and Penelope had persistently asked what the Roman numerals signified you had answered with 'one of the best days of my life' and left it at that. Aaron put a coffee cup and a small gift bag in front of you before kissing the side of your head gently.

"Happy anniversary" he said quietly and went back to his office. Leaving you beaming like an idiot at your desk. You took a sip of the coffee and opened the bag, you raised an eyebrow at the manilla envelope but opened it slowly. You scanned the pages, mouth dropping open and happy tears forming. You jumped up from your chair taking two stairs at a time to Aaron's office barging in ignoring the looks behind you.

"Are you being serious?" you almost shout and he just grins at you. Then nods.

"You just need to sign the forms and pick a date" he said and your behind his desk in seconds wrapped around him like a koala.

"Thank you" you whisper followed by another several thank yous and a declaration of love which he returns stroking the back of your head gently. The door opens and Dave pokes steps in quickly.

"Meltdown?" he asks quietly. You sniffle and laugh.

"No but I do think I've just won person of the year award" Aaron laughs and you are just happy to press your face against his shoulder. Dave must have known Aaron's plan because you could hear the smile in his voice.

"And here I was thinking (y/n) would throw a fit for you spending this much money" Dave pointed out because he had offered to pay and you had lectured him about being self sufficient for 25 minutes while Aaron had cackled in the corner.

"No more boob" you murmered into Aaron's jacket which earned you two lots of laughter "No more sore ribs" Aaron's hand was rubbing your back at this point over the material of the binder hidden beneath clothing. A kiss was pressed to the side of your head again.

"Just so you're aware. The blinds are open" Dave supplied.

"It's OK they all think I fucked my way here anyways" you mumble but haul yourself off Aaron's lap, even as he sighed at your comment "Thank you again. I'm surprised you remembered the date"

"As if I could forget it's one of the days of your life" he responded and you went back to your desk after kissing both of them on the cheek, Dave only got one cause he was blocking the only exit and refused to move until you gave him one.

Aaron decided that hosting a party at the house was a great way to integrate you into the team more, both of you had spent hours the night before prepping dishes while fending off Jack trying to eat them. Then you were fending off Aaron's attempt at eating parts of them and swore down that they were the reason you had grey hairs so young and promptly kicked both of them out of the kitchen. Aaron let you sleep in even while the team were arriving, as far as he was concerned you needed it.

Dave had been last to arrive with the excuse that cool people were never on time.

"Where's tigs?" he asked Aaron who was pouring coffees.

"Still asleep, actually Jack do you think you could wake (y/n) up?" Aaron asked and the boy nodded.

"Is he in your bed?" he asked and it was Aaron's turn to nod. The boy darted upstairs to wake the beast.

"Long night?" Dave asked and Morgan wiggled his eyebrows. Aaron sighed.

"Same nightmare again, he woke up screaming twice" he answered and Morgan's face fell.

"Pretty boy why don't you give him some sleeping tips, surely that big brain of yours knows something to help" he suggested and Spencer scowled at him but before he could answer you shuffled into the room wearing a pair of Aaron's shorts and an oversized hoodie. Spencer glanced at you before looking away completely, he hated that his brain supplied that you looked adorable or that you should be wearing his clothes instead.

"Good afternoon" JJ said with a grin and you looked at the clock on the fridge.

"It's 11:58 so still morning, you psychopaths are here early" you said and Aaron passed you a cup of coffee "Oh I love you and you love me"

"Yeah I do" Aaron said as you sat next to Emily at the table.

"I was talking to the coffee" you said smiling into the mug which earned you a gentle slap upside the head.

Aaron and Dave were taking things outside when your phone started buzzing on the table. You picked it up mentally preparing to answer it.

"Aaron! It's shot day" you called, shutting off the alarm "I'm gonna do it myself, I'll shout if I need you" you heard a shout of agreement back and downed the rest of your coffee in order to hunt for the box on the cupboard. At some point during cleaning Aaron had put it on the top shelf which meant to you to climb to reach it, cursing him the entire time. Morgan had stood behind you ready to catch you if you fell.

"Just being safe Tiggy" he had said and you bounced off the work top.

"Oh I've fallen off way worse" you responded "Walls, trees and a person that one time"

You smiled at the looks they gave you and finished out one of the needles and the vial of testosterone. A shout from the back yard drew your attention away.

"Screw you! I'm more than capable of stabbing myself with a needle" you shouted back only to hear Aaron and Dave laughing.

"Yeah dad!" Jack called and you ruffled his hair on the way past, Jack was happy enough to wander around and talk to everyone. You were glad he was becoming the social butterfly that you and Aaron were not.

You on the other hand had been sitting on the edge of the tub for 15 minutes trying to work out how to put the needle in your leg without looking at it.

"(y/n), everything OK? Hotch sent me up to check on you" Spencer's voice called through the wooden door.

"Yeah. Yeah I'm fine" you says before shaking your head "Actually could you get Aaron?"

You heard a faint grumble but couldn't make it out and Aaron was in the bathroom moments later helping you with your shot. Not long later you found yourself sitting between his legs on the concrete patio. Refusing a chair no matter how many times he offered.

"So how long have you been on hormones?" Penelope asked, you touched your tattoo gently.

"Four years" you answered and they realised what one of the best days of your life had been. The conversation flowed from there and Aaron seemed happy you were opening up to them, occasionally he would card his fingers through your hair or try and plat the short strands. You had rested your head against the inside of his thigh as Dave recalled your first meeting and all the meetings afterwards.

"If we had found you when you were 6 Aaron would have a criminal record for aggravated assault and I'd have a child to babysit" Dave pointed out after you and Reid had partially compared childhoods, his parents were neglectful out of illness yours were out of malice.

"We were 13 years late to the party, but I think it was worth it when we finally did arrive" Dave finished. Then the team realised that you had been 19 when your had met Aaron and Spencer looked disgusted but you ignored him.

"Of course I didn't start coming over until I was 20, I moved in after I graduated UVA " you said thinking back on it being 25 and knowing the men for this long was mildly amusing. Even Haley had welcomed you in with open arms after a while. The rest of the day went without a hitch until Jack had thrown a water balloon at you and you had tried to smother him with your now wet shirt. In taking it off you had revieled the rest of your tattoos to the team. Haleys birthstone under your collarbone, Jack's name in cursive on your upper arm, a fish on the opposite shoulder and another date across your heart. You didn't mind, they were a big part of you.

If anyone had asked you that morning your day had been going great, that was until Spencer Reid swooped in with all his stupidness. Hell broke lose when you went to get a coffee and Anderson bumped into you which caused you to bump into Reid.

"Sorry!" Anderson called as he escaped the room.

"Sorry Reid, domino effect" you tried to apologise but he spun on you.

"Watch where your going" he growled and you rolled your eyes at him. Everyone in the team bar Aaron and Dave had witnessed you both butting heads at least once and each of them had assured you that Reid would chill out eventually and that he just didn't like change very much and of course a new member of the team was a big change.

"Get a grip" you snarled at him "Anderson bumped me into you and we've both apologised, genius"

"Don't call me that" he snapped and went to walk away but stopped "Sex in the office is a new low even for you"

He was clearly referring to the two hours you had spent in Aaron's office that morning trying to work out the logistics of time off for your surgery.

"Excuse me?" you snarled.

"Also studies show that you should never tattoo an anniversary on yourself due to pressure it desolves the relationship faster"

Reid walked away after poking you in the chest over the tattood date and you watched him with wide eyes before growling and stalking after him.

"We've got a bad one" JJ's voice broke through your need to punch the doctor in his stupidly perfect face. You froze briefly, perfect?

You shook your head slightly and moved to the round table room making sure to slam your shoulder into Reid's for good measure. He scowled behind you but you sat between Dave and Morgan in order to be as far away from him as possible.

The case was not going well in the slightest, the local police were unhelpful and there were 5 teenagers missing with no leads. This is where you had the advantage, you looked younger than you were and the right outfit would take a good couple years off. Aaron had been very against the idea from the start and had sat on the bed of your hotel room grumbling as you got ready.

"This is a terrible idea" he said as you pulled on one of his spare tshirts which always made you look younger. Making sure it was sitting right in the mirror.

"Aaron, you are being a mother hen. If this was anyone else it would be fine" you said before spiking up your hair.

"That's not true" Aaron said crossing his arms over his chest, you raised an eyebrow at him and he glanced down at himself. Unfurling his arms only to recross them "I worry about you, the others have more field experience, and you're still my baby"

"Jack is your baby. I'm the one you picked out of a line up" you laughed and felt his hands on your shoulders.

"You are both my babies. Also I think we should talk about Reid" he said and your eyes widened "Later, when we are home but I know you don't think I've noticed, the way you look at him and the constant tormenting. You know what they say about little boys pulling pig tails in the playground"

"I have no clue what your talking about" now it was you crossing your arms "I want to punch Reid in his stupid arrogant smug pretty face"

Aaron was grinning at you, the one that rose his eyebrows and showed his teeth.

"Yes" he said as your eyes widened.

"No. NO no no no" you said, half an hour later you refused to make eye contact with anyone while your were dropped off at the park with the instructions to look like a kid walking around. After the slight argument with Aaron about your own emotions you had the sulky teenager look down to a fine art. You had told him it was possibly a silly crush at most and that it would go away in time. Then everything went pear shaped quickly, there was a cloth covering your mouth and nose and a hand around your throat. You passed out with the faint noise of Aaron calling your name through the comm. The next few hours passed in a blur, the unsub, Dean Wertim, had originally started out as almost kind then he had snapped when you couldn't answer his questions. Your head was still spinning from the force of his punches. You weren't sure when you had passed out again but gentle hands on your face and someone calling your name brought you back around.

"Drk" you slurred when Morgan's face filled you vision, someone was behind you untying the ropes from your wrists "Wrs arn?"

"Hotch went into a different room he's on his way here. I promise" Morgan spoke softly, two sets of hands were helping you to stand and stay balanced. You knew Morgan was one of them so you swivelled your head to look. Reid was looking back at you and he didn't look happy, in the slightest. Part of you wanted to request a new rescuer. Light reflected off of something to your left and it took a few seconds to realise that it was a gun pointed at you. You kicked the back of Morgan's knee sending his sprawling and tackled Reid to the ground as three shots filled the air. People were shouting but all you could concentrate on was the pain in your side and the almost soothing voice coming from under you.

"(y/n), come on listen to me. You need to breath" the voice said you tried to nod and were rolled off of the boney figure under you. Hands were pressed roughly to your side "(y/n). Come on don't you dare close your eyes"

"Spencer?" you asked his face finally coming into view, he looked grim, his lips forced into a straight line.

"(y/n)!" Aaron's face was also above you now but all your could do was blink at him and hiss in pain with Reid pressed harder. You tried for a smile but the two men didn't return it even as your eyes slid shut.

Aaron's heart had been thundering in his chest since he saw you dropping to the ground, Reid had broken your fall but the whole team could see the panic spread on his face after the gunshots. Dave had threatened the medics with bodily harm if they didn't hurry up and they had all felt useless waiting in the hospital waiting room. Spencer had wiped his hands clean of blood while the man had just stared at them and they had all huddled close. Dave was trying to comfort Aaron who was slowly working himself into a panic seeing Haley all over again.

"Agent Hotchner?" a nurse asked, he was on his feet in seconds moving towards her "Mr (l/n) suffered from minor internal bleeding after we got the bullet of out his side. It was a fight for a while to get him stable but he is now." she said and Aaron was nodding alone.

"Can we go see him?" he asked and the nurse shook her head.

"Immediate family only" she said looking between them. Aaron frowned.

"We are his family" he said slowly then nurse opened her mouth to argue but Aaron's wasn't having any of it "Let me see my son, or so help me I will be on the phone faster than you can say 'wait'"

The teams eyes widened but Aaron was too panicked and frustrated to care. They eventually let him through to see you once they had hunted through your file for the copy of the adoption certificate. By the time you had woken up the whole team had managed to get into your room.

"Dad?" you mumbled when you finally focused enough to see his face. His fingers tightened around your hand.

"I'm here. You can go back to sleep" he whispered and you did.

Getting out the hospital was a small affair, Dave and Aaron had taken you home and you had spent the rest of the day curled up on the sofa with them and Jack refusing to release your grip on any of them. Aaron became even more protective of you but you had assured him as much as you loved him that the BAU was just as much your dream as it was his and you weren't leaving no matter what. It took a month of constant puppy eyes before you managed to even set foot back in the office. Spencer avoided you like the plague and your couldn't get the rest of them to leave you alone. The doctor had successfully avoided you for 5 hours before you finally managed to corner him in the men's restroom.

"OK spill, what is wrong with you?" you snapped at him, there had been no jibes or pranks. Nothing.

"I'm sorry" he answered and you stopped to look at him.

"For the past three months I've been insinuating that you were sleeping with Hotch, I didn't know he was your dad"

"Aaron adopted me years ago" you said shurgging "Not long after I met him when he was doing a presentation for the criminal psychology class I was trying to sneak into, I owe a lot to that man. But I let you think what you wanted and so did he because correcting you would bring up the 'oh your only here cause your dad's the unit chief' and honestly Spencer that sucks"

"I shouldn't have been such an ass about it" he said.

You blinked at him before a smile crawled onto your face. The hallmarks were on there and you were sure how you hadn't put it together quicker.

"Spencer were you jealous?" you asked and he tried to barge past you but you stopped him with a "Spencer" and a hand on his chest. His eyes avoided yours but you gripped his chin and grinned, his eyes dropped to your lips before going back to your eyes.

"Hotch is too old for you" he mumbled and the grin never left your face.

"He's my dad" you respond "And you were jealous!"

You weren't entirely sure what happened but Spencer's lips were pressing against yours, you gripped the front of his vest and pulled him in closer. He pushed you against the sink, his lips never leaving yours. You pulled away to breath.

"Me. You. Date?" you breathed. Spencer laughed and nodded ducking his head once more to kiss you.

The date had gone well, you had picked Spencer up and taken him to a restaurant that Dave had helped you get a reservation for as much as you refused to tell him who the date was with.

"Does Hotch know we are on a date?" he asked when you were driving him home.

"Nope" you said popping the p "You've been in an interagration with Aaron. Do you want to be on the receiving end?"

"Good point" Spencer responded after a second. You pulled up outside his apartment complex. "Do you want to come up?"

"Spencer Reid, on the first date" you said with mock scandal, his face flushed red and he started stuttering "I'm kidding. Let me park then I'll come up"

That's exactly what you did before following Spencer up the stairs with his hand in yours.

"We could totally just make out on the sofa like teenagers?" you suggested only to be pulled forward by your shirt. Well Dave's shirt that you had stolen. Somehow Spencer had ended up in your lap, your arms wrapped around his waist his fingers clinging to your neck and jaw as your mouths moved together. His tongue chased yours between your mouths, your own fingers dug into his hip bones. He whispered your name into your mouth and your flipped him over so you were pressing him against the cushions and hovering over him with one knee between his thighs.

"Hi" you breathed looking down at him. His hair splayed like a halo around his head, your hands pressed into the plush material, his on your shoulders.

"Hello" he whispered back, and that tongue that drove you crazy when you had first met him peaked out to wet his lips. You bowed your head pressed a chaste kiss to him lips, he chased you as your tried to pull back his hands on your face again holding you still.

"I should go" you murmered against him, he tried to hold you where you were "Seriously Spencer. If I don't go now we are going to do something neither of us are ready for"

That seemed to resonate with him cause his grip on you loosened.

"One more for the road?" he suggested and tugged you back down to meet him. One for the road turned into your shirt on the floor and his hanging loosely off his frame, Spencer had a necklace of bruises across his chest and one that would just be covered by his shirt collar. Yours were less contained sporadically across your chest, even under the straps of your binder and one on your ribs. You finally left almost an hour later after hunting down your shirt and leaving a last lingering kiss on his lips. You were pleased to see the lights off in Aaron's House when you arrived and tip toed through the house to get a drink from the kitchen, you were moving back to the stairs when a light caught your eye and you froze glass half way to your lips.

"And what time do you call this?" Aaron asked marking his page and closing the book on his lap. You felt like a teenager being caught sneaking out after curfew. Then remembered that you were an adult and you could return at anytime.

"I" you started then froze again because Aaron was smirking at you.

"How was your date?" he asked when you dropped down on the sofa next to him, curling up against his side.

"It was good. Really good" you murmur against his arm before it was moved and wrapped around you to pull you closer. You heard him sniff and realised you definitely smelt like Spencer. "Don't start"

"I'm just working out who he is" Aaron said with a laugh "Maybe if you told me his name"

"So you can have Pen do a background search?" you asked looking up at him.

"No" he answered "yes"

You sighed opening your mouth to bite the bullet but his phone was ringing. You briefly heard the conversation but the gist of it was a case. You called Jess while Aaron got ready and he drove you both to the office. The conversation was briefly forgotten until you reached the elevator and were heading up.

"We'll continue this conversation later? If you want" he suggested and you smiled at him your agreement.

Clearly Spencer had time to change because he wasn't wearing what he had been only an hour ago. You on the other hand were still wearing the same outfit that wasn't quite work appropriate, the shirt itself was thin and ridiculously expensive.

"Oh tiggy, did we interrupt a date?" Morgan asked leaning forward with a grin on his face.

"Nope" you answered and took the t-shirt the Aaron offered, Spencer shifted in his seat to rest his chin in his hand accidentally showing the hickey you had left on the side of his neck.

"Oh pretty boy got some lovin'. What's her name?" Morgan asked and Penelope squeeked from next to him. You went to move away to change your shirt but JJ stopped you.

"Get changed here. We need to go through this case" JJ said handing out folders. Your eyes widened but you couldn't think of an excuse without it looking suspicious. You unbuttoned the shirt as she started talking aiming to get it off and replaced as fast as humanly possible, you thought you had succeeded but you managed to get stuck in the t-shirt in your haste. The briefing stopped and you managed to pop your head through the hole. Everyone was looking at you then to Spencer who was flushed red and you decided to just take in his features before Aaron murdered him.

The case was a quick one however, Aaron wouldn't leave you and Spencer unattended for any period of time. It was on the jet back when Spencer finally broke.

"Don't mind him, he's being a helicopter parent" you responded throwing your legs over Spencer's thighs, he wrapped a hand around your ankles to keep you steady.

"Don't anger him, please" Spencer almost begged and you folded an arm behind your head with a grin blowing him a kiss.

"No PDA one the plane" Aaron snapped and your grinned more swinging your legs off Spencer's lap to stand up, you leaned down an pressed a quick kiss to Spencer's lips before dropping down next to Aaron.

"Do you want to talk about it?" you asked leaning against him, Aaron glanced down briefly before going back to his file "Dad."

"Why Reid?" he said then looked at the doctor "No offence"

Spencer waved a hand to show that it wasn't taken to heart.

"Why not Reid?" you retorted "Would you be like this if it was Morgan and Pen? Or Emily and JJ? No. You would not"

"They are not my kids" Aaron spoke slowly and you shook your head, he sighed "Maybe I'm being a little over protective"

"A little?" you scoff "Dad I promise I'll keep you up to date on everything"

Which got you a resigned nod.

"So we went on a date, I was very gentlemanly. Pick him up, pulled out his chair for him. Had a lovely meal" you said then smiled widly "Then the lovely doctor invited me up to his apartment"

Aaron's eyes widened briefly and his head snapped around to you and his mouth opened.

"Nothing happened, I promise" you patted his arm before moving to sit next to Spencer once more.

"That's not what those bruises say" Emily pointed out, you winked at her as you sat down. Aaron was watching you with narrowed eyes, you gave him your best smile and pulled out your phone to play online scrabble.

"We'll put a tie around the door knob" you said typing and Aaron nodded before it finally caught up in his brain.

"No. There will be no such activities" he said pointing at Spencer, you wiggled your eyebrows. Spencer nodded like he was wholeheartedly agreeing with him and you cackled.

Life continued as normal, cases, killers. Your relationship with Spencer flourished even with the tight leash Aaron was keeping you on. On the fourth month mark your were getting ready for another date while Aaron followed you around your room giving you the safety lecture. You stopped and whirled on him taking his face in both hands.

"It's just Spencer. I'll be fine, you're helicopter-ing again" you said pressing a kiss to his forehead, he sighed and nodded.

"Do you need anything?" he asked and you cut him off.

"Don't finish that sentence" you warned earning a smile "Seriously, OK stop worrying. Spencer's a gentleman if anything you should be more worried about him than me"

He finally released you into Spencer's car.

"You look lovely" Spencer greeted with a kiss.

"Not so bad yourself" you responded. The movie was great from what you actually saw between Spencer kissing you. That's pretty sure how you both ended up sprawled on his bed covered in sweat and panting heavily. You reached out to tangle your fingers together, then both your phones started ringing.

"We have a case" JJ's voice flowed through the speaker.

"We'll be there in 30" you said stroking Spencer's knuckles.

"You sound out of breath" she pointed out with glee in her voice.

"He sounds what!" you heard Aaron shout and you hung up the phone quickly.

"How attached are you to your balls?" you asked Spencer and he paled. Aaron was trying not to show his emotions but when you both had shown up with post-sex hair, he had almost exploded and you had just laughed. Then 3 weeks later everything went to hell, you and Spencer had a massive fight and you had went back to Aaron with your tail between your legs and tears streaming down your face. Who had just held onto you while you cried out your feelings. Then the case went wrong and you had gone in without a vest or backup. Not on purpose, you had been in the area as the unsub had started brandishing a gun. Aaron was yelling at you, well more like screaming and you were taking it like a champ. Standing still, hardly breathing probably looking like a scared child. Yeah like a champ.

"If you die how does that look on me. You are my responsibility (y/n)! Just because your my kid doesn't mean that you can just ignore my orders" he shouted. Your heart thumped in your chest when he stepped forward and you were no longer seeing Aaron, you were seeing your biological father. "You don't listen! Why do you have to be so reckless?"

Your brain didn't quite pick up the rest of the lecture, every word felt like a slap to the face. Actually you would have rather the slaps. Then you heard the words "worthless" and "waste of my time" and your heart shattered in your chest.

"Aaron" Dave said from behind you but you were too busy trying to push your way out of the office.

"I'm going home" you stammered, struggling to see through tears and the pain in your chest. Dave made an effort to stop toy but you were already out the door.

"(y/n) wait" Aaron called from behind your as you continued your path towards the exit. Then Spencer tried to stop you after seeing the worry of Aaron's face as he tried to chase you.

"Fuck off Reid" you snarled shoving him away. You keep walking, stabbing the down button in the elevator which shut just before Aaron got there. You left everything at the BAU, car, phone, bag. You cried as you walked hugging yourself around your stomach. It really was only a matter of time before they got fed up with you, Spencer had been right all along you weren't cut out for the job and Aaron, the man had adopted you at almost 20 so that you had some resemblance of a family after your own had thrown you to the curb after you had come out. If you had been home, where you were supposed to be, Haley would have still been here, but no you had been at extra tutoring for your masters. Then you realised you didn't know where you were, so you kept walking until you saw something familiar. The park was empty bar a few dog walkers. When the libraries opened tomorrow you would email your resignation letter, parks were probably going to become your new norm. You were too busy trying to plan anything and everything that you missed the stranger sitting next to you.

"Thought you'd be here" Dave spoke softly snapping you back to reality. You didn't even look at him.

"Go away Dave" you sighed. There was no fight in it. Not really.

"Sorry Tigger. No can do" he replied, you wanted him to leave. Your life was over, there was a bridge not far away. It was high enough to take care of all your problems. "Come on, let's get you home" he tried to coax you to your feet.

"I don't have a home" you whispered "Just go Dave, Aaron probably needs you for something. A lawyer maybe to reverse the adoption, I'm sure you know someone to help him"

Dave must've realised your plan because he moved closer to you and wrapped you in his arms. Tightly.

"No. Kid I know what's going on in your head and that's not the answer. We've hit a snag that's all. It can be fixed" he said his grip tightening.

"Doesn't matter. He's got you and the team and his son he doesn't need me. I wasn't there when he needed me" you whispered "I could have saved her for him"

"(y/n), listen to me you are as much of his son as Jack is. He loves you just as much as he does Jack. And you're Jack's big brother, don't let that boy lose another family member" he whispered and the tears were flowing again "Haley loved you too, she didn't show it very well but she did. If you had been there Foyet would have killed you both"

You turned your head into his jacket and he stroked your hair.

"Spencer loves you too. You know that? The past few months he's been walking around with a boyish glee written all over his face. Relationships are hard you just have to put the work in. I love you, you're my nephew. The team loves you, especially Aaron. Aaron's who's sent everyone in opposite directions to find you when he realised that you weren't at home. Aaron who is probably pacing a hole in the floor worrying because he knows that he was in the wrong, he knew he should have stopped when he noticed that you weren't with him any more, when you where in your head nad only hearing part of what he was saying. Aaron that refused to leave his house incase you went home and there was no one there. Who sent Spencer to his apartment incase you went there. Who has Garcea constantly watching for any of your cards or movements to ping her systems. Who has Morgan, Prentiss and JJ patrolling the streets looking for any sign of you. Who sent me here hoping that maybe you'd come to this bench" Dave was panicking, you could hear it in his own voice, trying to get everything through your skull. You nodded slowly, Dave was picking up your broken pieces and showing you that they weren't broken at all, they had just come lose for a second. Then the shame flooded you. Shame of what you had been thinking about. It just made you cry harder, Dave basically carried you to his car tucking his jacket around your shoulders carefully when you had cried yourself to sleep. He sent out a mass text to the team informing them that he had you and that you were being taken to Aaron's for a long chat about your headspace, which sent cold shivers down both Aaron and Spencer's spines.

You woke up in your own bed with the headache from hell, you didn't want to go downstairs. Downstairs meant facing Aaron.

"Bite the bullet" you whispered to yourself and pulled on one of the sweaters you had stolen over the years ignoring the pain that shot through your ribs from sleeping in your binder. You snuck down the stairs, Jack was in the living room watching cartoons so you assumed Aaron was in the kitchen by the slightly clanking sounds floating through. He was cleaning up the worktops but stopped when he heard you pad into the room.

"I'm sorry" you whispered barely loud enough for him to hear. He was moving towards you and you briefly expected a slap but instead you were wrapped up in his arms and held onto like you would disappear if he let go.

"I was so worried" he whispered in your ear "And I'm so sorry I should have been paying attention to you instead of yelling. I'm so sorry (y/n)"

You clung to him as sobs tore through you, your fingers digging into his back as your knees buckled sending you both to the floor. Aaron was leaning against the island in the middle of the kitchen with you wrapped around him. He didn't press he just let you cry into his chest. Jack must've poked his head in to see what the commotion was because Aaron's voice rumbled in his chest under your ear. You tried to apologise again but he was shushing you gently.

"I want you to talk to someone, it can be me or Reid or Dave or someone outside completely. Just someone that can help you, you're not OK and I should have seen it sooner." he said and you agreed. You spoke to him eventually but you ended up going to the beauros own psychiatrist to talk. Maybe it was time. Time to put ghosts to rest.

Aaron had arranged it for you and you had gone willingly then next day still having not spoken to Spencer. Until you bumped into him walking through the corridors after your appointment, his hand wrapped around your arm to steady you.

"Hi" he whispered.

"Hi" you whispered back reminiscent of your first date with him "Spencer, I'm sorry"

"No. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed, if you want to keep living with Hotch that's ok" he said resting his hand on your jaw. You leaned into the touch.

"I'm done hiding" you said turning to kiss his palm. He smiled softly "I'll tell you everything over coffee?"

He took your hand in his own and lead you back down the corridor, prattling about a coffee shop that you would love. You let him.

Aaron and Dave were looking at the file the psychiatrist had dropped on Aaron's desk.

"This feels like the biggest invasion of privacy ever" Aaron grumbled with his arms crossed and Dave agreed.

"We can't help if we don't know what's going on" Dave pointed out and got a resigned look in return. "I'll read it therfore you don't have a guilty conscious"

"Still feels wrong" Aaron pointed out but allowed Dave to read it anyways.

"We know his name, age blah blah blah" Dave started flipping through the pages "Agent (l/n) has taken on the personal blame of the murder of Agent Hotchner ex wife Haley Brooks. (l/n) stated that he should have been home at the time and that Agent Hotchner also thought he was there at the time but in fact had been 45 minutes away on campus getting extra help on a thesis paper. He was aware of the dangers posed by George Foyet however insisted on not changing anything about his life. (l/n) clearly stated that he feels as though he could have saved her had he been home, where he was supposed to be and that it is his fault 'The love of Aaron's life is gone and that Jack doesn't have a mom'. He also informed us that he had also been on the phone when Haley Hotchner was murdered however the call was not terminated at the same time as Agent Hotchner and had let it be known that he did indeed hear her take her last breathes and still does to this day. Agent (l/n) also let himself into the property afterwards to hunt for a stuffed toy for Jack Hotchner but admitted that he went to the room were Haley Hotchner was murdered"

"He told us the toy had been in his car. He didn't say he went back to the house" Aaron breathed, he didn't know whether or not to bring it up to you. You had planned to go see Haley with Jack that evening and Aaron wondered if he should go too.

And life continued again, you saw a shrink every few weeks, cases allowing. Aaron had started dating which allowed you a Spencer more time alone at your place instead of his. Which is how you ended up watching Jack while Aaron went out with Beth, not that you minded. Jack was asleep leaving you and Spencer on the sofa with a movie playing lowly in the background. Spencer's hips bucking into yours when your fingers dipped under his shirt while your tongues tangled. You were working his shirt over his head while trailing kisses down the column of his throat coaxing whines out of him as you did so. In doing so you never heard the front door open or the two voices coming towards you.

"If that shirt goes any further up Reid's body I will personally shoot you both" Aaron's voice cut through your current task, Spencer yelped and pulled his shirt back down before hiding his face in your arm, you shimmied back cause Spencer to try stifle a groan.

"Let the kids be kids Aaron" Beth said kissing Aaron's cheek, he huffed as you climbed off of Spencer.

"Is good to see you Beth" you greeted "I'd give you a kiss on the cheek but Spencer will start a lecture about germs and I'm really not feeling it tonight"

She kissed you on the cheek instead and you hauled Spencer to his feet. Guiding the shocked and mortified doctor up the stairs to your bedroom.

"Remember Jack's in bed" Aaron called up after you but you just continued pushing your boyfriend forward.

"Hotch heard me whine" he whispered with wide eyes and you laughed "I was almost begging. My boss almost heard me begging" you laughed even harder and knocked him onto your mattress straddling his hips once more.

"He'll hear you screaming in a minute too" you breathed against his ear and Spencer's face turned scarlet. Life was good.

#aaron hotchner #criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer x reader #spencer reid x reader #Trans male reader

[disasterfandoms]

This is Your Home Now ~ The Ryders x teen!reader imagine

@atjafshelby​ requested: “Okay so I was thinking maybe a teenage reader who was like Judd as a child, gets in trouble and needs help and stuff. But maybe she lives on her own so Grace and Judd take her in and try to help her? No rush though, thank you!!❤️”

A/N: I appreciate you sending me a complex ask. I’ll be honest, I had no idea how i was going to write this one when I first saw it. I tweaked it a tiny bit, and instead of being on their own the reader is in a group home. This may be part 1 if anyone is interested in part 2?

TW: foster care, mentions of violence, mentions of therapy.

Your POV:

Sitting in the principal’s office, you began to take in the various lame quotes around the room. “You miss 100% of the chances you don’t take” sure, whatever.

“You have to look through the rain to see the rainbow” this has to be the worst one of all. What rainbow? and why go through hell to be able to see a prism of light in the sky?

The door shuts loudly, pulling you from your thoughts. You roll your eyes when you see your social worker walking in with the principal.

“So, Y/N, you’ve been getting into more fights recently, including earlier today when you struck another student in the face for saying something about your family,” your principal read from the file, then looked up at you, “Anything you’d like to say for yourself?”

”yeah, they deserved it,” you scoffed, rolling your eyes at him again. Everyone here should know by now the topic of your parents is off limits, especially what he said about them. 

“Just because someone says something you don’t like doesn’t mean you can assault them.” Your social worker scolded, probably hating her life for having to deal with you. 

They went on lecturing you for another 20 minutes, but at that point you zoned out, focusing on the view out the window behind your principal. It was sunny outside, the trees on the outskirts of school grounds blowing slightly with the wind. You could see people walking out there, and instantly wanted to be anywhere but here, supposedly listening to how you’re a screw-up and if you “don’t get your act together” you’ll “never have a future.”

“Y/n, what do you think about the compromise?”

You snapped your head to the principal, trying to figure out what all you missed in the last few minutes so you could figure out to answer appropriately. You studied his face, before deciding agreeing would be the quickest road. How wrong you were, you wouldn’t have the faintest idea until an hour later.

“Sounds good to me, as long as I can go back to class. Ms. Neal is teaching about the wage gap and I want to see conservative boys lose their ever-loving mind.” you smiled, hoping they buy it for now. They both nod their heads, then you stand up to leave. 

“I’ll see you after school, Y/N,” your social worker spoke confidently, seemingly proud of herself for her part in the supposed compromise. With that, you left the two adults to work out the details amongst themselves.

Going to Ms. Neal’s class quickly, you started to wonder what you agreed to. It had to be something significant if you weren’t getting in trouble for giving the star of the baseball team a black eye, which he deserved, by the way. 

Class went by as a blur, your attention focusing in and out on class, except when it came time to debate your stance on the issue of the class. You loved to argue, especially with privileged, snotty teens who don’t know how well they had it. You were good at it too, you could be a lawyer if you had any shot of a successful life.

Sooner than you’d like, class was over, and you started to get up and leave. You were too occupied with making sure you had everything that you didn’t realize you were making a beeline into your social worker.

“Oh, I’m so sorry!”

“Hey, watch it!” You both say simultaneously, backing up and looking at who ran into you.

“Oh, there you are Y/N! Come on, I’m driving you back to the home to pack up your things” She signaled with her hand to come with her, and you obliged, confused.

“Pack my things? Why?” You asked while walking to your car. You know you’ve been in trouble recently, but being kicked out of the group home seemed a little extreme.

“Did you listen to the compromise at all when were talking about it? Before you agreed to it?” She asked, already knowing the answer.

“Not really, just figured agreeing would get me in the least trouble,” you replied, and you could see her smile a little as she shook her head at you.

“This last fight isn’t going on your permanent record, as long as you get anger management classes, and move out of the group home and into a foster situation with two loving people who know how to handle situations like yours,” 

“Crap, I really should listen more.” You sighed and leaned your head on the window. You didn’t see how moving you out of the group home would help at all, it’s more change and more adjustment, and you were tired of both.

“Want to know about the couple?” You social worker asked you, but you barely heard her. You shook your head and put a headphone in, hoping this wasn’t a mistake.

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Judd’s POV:

“Are we sure about this, Gracie?” Judd asks, pacing between the living room and the kitchen, pausing every now and then to look at his wife. He stopped, turned to her, and rubbed his face before putting both hands behind his head, cradling it as he thinks about everything that could go wrong with this.

He knew they both wanted kids, and adoption seemed to be their only hope due to ther infertility troubles. But still, he argued to himself, a teenager? With this kid’s anger management issues, stubbornness, and troubled past, this isn’t what he necessarily had in mind.

“Yes, Judd, we’re sure. This kid needs our help, and a stable home to thrive. I understand you’re nervous, I am too, but we’ve been doing our research and interviewing with child protective services for months, and now they’re gracing us with a child that needs us.” Grace had walked over to him at this point, and taken his hands into hers. He looked into those beautiful, rust colored eyes of hers and took a deep breath. He knew she was right, she usually is, but he was still nervous.

He wrapped his arms around her, leaned down to kiss her on the cheek. “I love you,” he whispered. She looked up at him, grabbed the nape of his neck, and kissed him lovingly. After a few seconds, she broke away, and whispered, “I love you too, handsome.”

Before anything could further along, the doorbell rang. The two looked at each other, took a deep breath, and walked to the door. Grace opened the door, and they both saw the social worker, Malia, with a teenager that looked less than happy to be on their doorstep.

Judd quickly scanned the teen, noticing the frown on their face and the bruised knuckles they were sporting on their right hand. They had a suitcase in the other hand, and looked short in stature. Everyone looks short to Judd, though. 

“Hi Malia, Y/N, please come in.” Grace states, welcoming their guest and their now-forster child into their home. Once the social worker guided Y/N in, the pair sat on the couch while Judd and Grace sat on the other, clasping their hands together and looking at the child who’ll be staying with them, being nurtured by them, for next couple years.

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Your POV:

The house is nice, you thought to yourself as you sit on the couch, waiting for someone to speak to you. You look at them, whose names you aren’t aware of yet, and study their features. The man was tall, and you can tell he’s been working for a while due to his build and the scratches and burns on his hands. The woman is much smaller, and seems softer, but you can tell they love each other just by the way they can’t keep their hands off each other.

“Judd, Grace, this is Y/N. Now, I know the department have given you their file, but do you have any questions about their history, or anything I can answer?” Malia asked, putting her hands in her lap. At least you know their names now, you thought to yourself.

“I don’t think so, ma’am. You’re welcome to stay for supper, though. Y?N, is there any allergies or diet restrictions we need to know about?” The woman, Grace, you remind yourself, asks. She smiles at you as she asks, and she has a pretty smile. You start to wonder why they wanted to take in someone like you.

“No ma’am, thank you for asking though. Can one of y’all show me to my room, though? I’d like to unpack and start on homework before supper.” You try to be polite, not knowing who they are once the social worker. Better to be safe than sorry, right?

“Of course, I’ll show you up there, and let you get settled.” Judd offers, standing up to guide you to where you’ll sleep.

You go up the stairs, and are impressed by what you see. This is better than the group home, at the very least. You head down the corridor he’s taking you through, and walk into a moderately sized room that had a full-sized bed, two nightstands, a dresser, closet, desk with a chair, and a door to what you assume is a bathroom.

“Take all the time you need to settle in. This weekend we’ll all go shopping and you can buy decorations for your room. Once supper is ready, we’ll call you downstairs to eat, get to know each other better. Alright?” He asked, looking as if he expected you to answer. You quickly nodded, and got to putting away your things and taking in the space. Maybe you actually belong here.

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Once supper was ready, you were called down, you stumbled down the kitchen, washed your hands, and then took a seat at the table. Malia had left, hopefully to bother another kid and leave you alone, and you sat there quietly, eating the dinner they prepared.

“So, Y/N, is there any hobbies you enjoy? Anything we can look into getting you, like an easel or a video game?” Grace asks, making conversation.

“Why do you care? It’s not like I’m your kid,” You rolled your eyes, then looked down and played with your food. You wouldn’t let yourself get attached to the idea of having people truly care about you, especially not now.

“Hey, you-” Judd started to raise his voice, but Grace cut him off with holding her index finger up to him, then spoke.

“Y/N, I know this is all too new for you still. You don’t know us, you do not know our intentions, and you’re past makes it especially hard for you to believe anyone would love you and care for you. But, and I mean this, this is your home now, Y/N, and we will not abandon you, no matter the obstacles ahead,” she paused, and looked to her husband. Judd nodded, and took a deep breath.

“Y/N, I was just like you when I was your age. I was going through somethin’, and it left me violent and not knowing who to trust. We want you here so we can help you through the hurt you’ve been through, and make you into the young adult we can already see inside you. We have two rules, don’t disrespect us, and be honest with us. Got it?”

“Got it,” you spoke quietly. The rest of the dinner was quiet, and afterwards you went upstairs to your room, lying on the bed, thinking about how this is going to be good for you. Maybe, just maybe, everything will be okay.

#grace ryder x judd ryder #judd ryder #grace ryder #teen!reader #reader insert #writing #9-1-1 lone star #911 lone star #the ryders x teen!reader #grace x judd #apologies if this is god awful

[the-silentium]

Quits

Masterlist

Pairing: Five Hargreeves x Reader

Words: 2200 words

Warnings: TUA season 1 and 2 spoilers, violence, blood, swearing.

Requested by: Anon!

Hi!! Can i get a five x reader where the reader gets shot or stabbed or something but doesnt tell anyone and ends up passing out? Thanks!!

A/N: I’m back at my requests! Thank you Anon for this sweet lil’ idea and I hope it lives up to your expectations as it does with mine  ❤ Requests are still open!

You remember a time when you took pride in your capacity to make the right choice at the right time. When school asked you what you wanted to do in life, you chose the right one from the start unlike the majority of your friends who had to change classes multiple times and were now a happy veterinarian. When life put on your path the incarnation of your perfect partner, you decided to take it slow to see where it went. Fortunately for you, you quickly saw through his facade and kicked him out before he could create more permanent damage to your heart. 

Your life was full of important decisions that were though at the time. Sometimes you had to take some days to think about it when other times it took you hours. They were all risky shots that could end up badly for you in the end so you liked to take your time to think about it. 

This is why when Five Hargreeves, your childhood closest friend, knocked at your door one day and asked for your help to stop the fast-arriving apocalypse, you didn't think twice and immediately accepted. How could you make the bad choice by helping him save the world? If he failed you would die, he would die, everyone would die and this is obviously the bad end of the story, right?

Well, as of right now, you were starting to doubt it. After failing to stop 2019's apocalypse and after Five had time-traveled every living Hargreeves plus yourself in the 1960s, you found yourself in two precarious situations: one, you were back in your 13-year-old self and two, you were not fighting two crazy hard-ass Commissioners, but three crazy hard-ass IKEA mafioso! 

It was a miracle that you survived the raid on the Hargreeves Mansion unscathed. You had thanked your luck for allowing you to live another day, although you regret ever doing so. Clearly, you had jinxed yourself, for surviving the Swedes ambush at the Mexican consulate wasn't as painless as the raid. 

A very well-sharpened knife had managed to pierce your skin, getting in your abdomen all the way to the hilt before you managed to kick the white-haired man down a nice flight of stairs. Your medical instinct pushed you to hastily insert some absorbent tissue into your wound to control the bleed and allow you to check it later. 

Sadly, one thing led to another and you were now sitting with all six Hargreeves who were currently trying to formulate a plan of some sort while Diego was focussed on his JFK conspiracy and you were literally bleeding out. 

The once pristine washcloth you had stolen in the kitchen was completely soaked, staining your blue shirt with dark red spots. Speaking of spots, hundreds of tiny black ones were now dancing in your line of sight like dark fireflies. 

"Has anyone here done anything to screw up the timeline?" 

You lifted your hand hoping to get the attention of the others, obviously working when Luther asked what you'd done. 

"Anything yet, but would it screw the timeline if I died here?" 

You saw Five frowns in confusion, his mouth opening on a question before yelling your name when you couldn't hold yourself up anymore and fell to the ground. Strong arms lifted you from the floor and you landed on a comfy cloud. You smiled in contentment, it has been a while since you had a proper night of sleep. This cloud will be perfect for a nap. 

Tiny slaps on your left cheek forced your eyes to open and meet a concerned blue gaze. 

"So pretty." You mumbled, still focussing on the blue eyes frantically scanning your face. 

Oh did I mentioned earlier that you had a crush on Five? Because you do and it is not small if after 15 years your heart still accelerates when you merely meet his gaze. 

"Don't sleep okay? Keep your eyes open!" You laughed at his command, it is the same thing you told him the day he lost consciousness at Leonard's cabin. You had a snarky remark at the tip of your tongue but it died on your lips when darkness forced its way upon you. 

………………………

Even before your mind was operational enough to create thoughts, your brain was already running full speed and relentlessly reminded you that your abdomen was on fire. The pain was a great ally into your mission to wake up and open your eyes. Maybe you would be able to ask for some painkillers. 

The harsh neon light shining over your head made you tear up the second your eyes opened to assess your environment. You tried again, slower this time, and found yourself confused by your surroundings. 

Many times in your childhood you had passed time in this room, planning pranks, doing homework, reading, or just hanging out. Nothing had changed excepted the walls that were now covered in equations and names. 

Groggily, you attempted to seat up, your abdominal muscles screamed in agony at your movements forcing you to stay on your back. The groan that erupted from your throat alarmed a passer-by who raced to the door, opening it so fast that it collided with the wall. 

"She's awake!" Klaus shouted in the corridor when he saw your wide-open eyes. He only had time to put a foot into the bedroom that a blue light appeared out of nowhere announcing Five's arrival. Your heart was beating too quickly by the time Five had pushed Klaus out of his room and slammed the door shut behind him. 

“What were you thinking?!” Five's anger caused you to frown. What did you do? You searched your mind for an answer and quickly found one in the vivid memory of a knife diving into your flesh. 

You opened your mouth to talk your mind but nothing came out of the desert that was your throat. Noticing your problem, Five caught a water bottle from his nightstand, cautiously brought it to your lips, and let you drink small sips of the freshwater. Satisfied, you coughed once to prepare your throat. 

“Now you know how it felt so we are quits.” You answered, referring to the time in Leonard’s cabin where you felt like the world had stopped when Five lost consciousness. You took care of him as best as you could despite your field of expertise being animals you had a basic understanding of the human anatomy, so with your trembling hands covered in his blood while desperately trying to not notice how much there was, you worked as effectively as you could to keep the love of your life alive. 

"This is not a game! You could have died!" You would have believed his angry eyes if only his hands weren't shaking so much. You were friend with Five for long enough to know how to read his temper and now, he was scared. 

"But I didn't." You tried to calm him down with your calm voice. You remember jumping at his neck the second he woke up that time he passed out, why couldn't he do the same instead of yelling at you? 

You watched him open his mouth a couple of times before closing it, clearly thinking through what he was going to say. When he finally chose, his voice was barely audible. "Selfish." 

You blinked in confusion at his statement. "Me? Selfish?" With each word now, your voice was raising until you reached the point where you were yelling at the blue-eyed 30 years old man. "Everything I did was to save the damn world from the apocalypse and you call me selfish?! I took a fucking knife to the gut and dealt with it for the sake of the world and you call me self-" 

"I wasn't talking about you." Now this stopped you good. You frowned in confusion, not seeing where he was going. "I was talking about me." 

Your head tilted to the side, searching your brain as to why Five would call himself selfish. All he did was for his family, he never acted for himself, so why?

"I almost let everything down to make sure you made it back alive. I almost let the world end for you because I can't imagine living another 45 years where you're not there." His words were soft, a tone that you weren't aware was used exclusively around you. His gaze fled yours, switching between the scribbles on the walls and the foot of the bed. 

Color rushed to your face for his words definitely sounded like a confession to your ears. Your childhood self had waited for so long to hear something of the type, so long that you thought the friendzone was the ultimate area that you would be welcome in. You accepted that your feelings were strong enough to be pleased by his happiness even with someone else. 

A smile formed on your lips causing Five's heart to miss a beat in its rhythmic pumping. "I-"

"Guys they are doing it!" Klaus' loud voice on the other side of the door cut you off. 

"Doing what?" Allison had joined her brother at the door, confused of his antics. 

"Admitting their undying love for each other!" At this point Five had opened the door swiftly, his murderous gaze fell on his siblings, daring them to say something more. It was at this moment that Klaus realized how scary his brother was in reality, he wasn't the little Number Five anymore, but a grown-up man who could easily murder him in a thousand ways possible. 

"Oh heck no!" The words fell off your mouth against your will, the embarrassing situation making you nervous so your brain tried to defuse the situation by stating the opposite of what Klaus wanted. From your point of view, you totally missed the way Five's eyes lost their deadly rage, instead showing his pain at your words. He was quick to hide his feelings once more, but his siblings had enough time to acknowledge his true emotion. 

Slapping Klaus behind the head, Allison got a hold of his shirt and pulled him away to let the two of you clear this out. Everyone knew you two were pinning each other when you were younger. Even when fighting the two apocalypses! It was clear as day for the rest of the family, however, it wasn't the case for the both of you. 

The door slammed back in place once more making you jump and hiss in pain when your abdominal muscles contracted. In your field of vision, you noted that Five had tensed before closing his hands in tight fists and made his way to his desk, the only place in the room you couldn't see because of your incapacity to turn around. 

You knew what you said must have hurt him, it clearly seemed like you had rejected him. Stupid defense method. 

"Five?" No answer was given, his heavy breathing being the only sound resonating in the room. "I didn't mean that." A scoff fell off his lips. 

"You think I'll believe that?" The venom in his voice told you just how much you had hurt him, squeezing your heart in shame. 

"When you disappeared 15 years ago I developed a system to protect myself from new heartbreaks. It hurt way less to force myself to believe that my feelings for you were nonexistent than acknowledge them and continue living without you, Five." Water appeared in your eyes, pooled down your cheeks, and soaked your new shirt. "I was so used to deny my feelings that-" Your voice broke when a sob forced its way out of you. 

Hands found your cheeks, drying the wet trails before pulling you into a firm chest. You managed to slip your hands around his waist and cried for as long as needed. The exhaustion of the last endless days caught up to you along with the fact that the subject of your love was very well alive and here to stay, fueling the flow of tears falling down your eyes. 

"I really didn't mean it." You managed to croak out between sobs. 

One of Five's hand went to your hair, stroking your head tenderly. "I know." Your grip onto his shirt tightened when a kiss landed on the top of your head. 

Slowly, he pulled away to lay you back down onto his bed and snuggled to your side when your anxious eyes found his. One of his arms went under your head while the other took care to not accidentally touch the general area surrounding your wound when snaking around your waist to keep you as close to him as possible. 

His body heat was very much welcome, you snuggled your way into the crook of his neck in search of comfort. 

"Rest. I'll be there when you wake up." He whispered into your hair when his button-down crumpled in your hands. 

You sighed, allowing yourself to relax in his embrace. "I love you Five." You had to get it out before you let yourself fall asleep for you were scared that later would be too late. 

"I love you too." Delicate patterns were traced by his skilled fingers onto the bare skin of your waist making you shiver. Your heartbeat accelerated at his chuckle before stabilizing when you fell into a peaceful slumber.

#five hargreeves #five hargreeves x reader #number five #the boy #tua s1 #tua s2 #the umbrella academy #my fic #the swedes #fluff

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

Satisfied, Part 18

First

Previous

Next

~~~

The entire bat family looked surprised.

“But -- but you didn’t try and kill Hawkmoth!” Said Red Robin after a few minutes of giving her a wide-eyed stare.

She rolled her eyes. “That’s because I couldn’t. We’re pretty much indestructible in these suits and Chat wasn’t able to bring himself to cataclysm him. It took four years, do you really think I wouldn’t have preferred to just take out a gun and fu --.”

“Y’know, just once I’d like one of my future children to say ‘oh, hey, actually I think murder is a bad thing’. Is that too much to ask?” Batman said, squeezing his eyes shut.

She raised her eyebrows. “’Future children’? I don’t want to be adopte --.”

Nightwing rested a hand on her shoulder. “Shhh, it’s going to end up happening, it’s better if you just accept it.”

“I love her,” said Red Hood with a wide grin. “Lay off of her guys. I’m mentoring this one.”

Red Robin sighed. “Not happening.”

“Do I get a say in any of this?” Marinette said, shrugging the hand off of her shoulder and rubbing where it had been for a bug of some sort. Nothing. At least they weren’t that bad. “It’s the best option.”

Batman held his hands up for silence, and then turned to her and spoke slowly, as if hoping it would stick better if he enunciated every letter: “If we kill him then we’ll be just as bad as him.”

She stared at him for a long time after this, doing mental gymnastics to figure out just what his perspective could be. “Okay, first of all, Kant --.”

“Don’t bother with bats,” said Red Hood, striding over and slinging his arm around her shoulders. “He’s not going to listen.”

Robin seemed especially bitter about the whole ordeal, stewing between Nightwing and Batman, until he finally snapped his fingers. “Oh! But you didn’t kill Hawkmoth when you took his miraculous!”

The bat family reeled back in shock and stared at their youngest like he’d grown a second head.

Red Hood seemed particularly offended. “Did bats get to you, too?”

Robin shook his head. “I just think she’s being inconsistent and a hypocrite.”

“Alright. First of all: the reason I didn’t bother with killing him afterward is because the guy relied so much on his miraculous that it was obvious he wouldn’t be able to do anything. If he broke out of jail he’d have a little bit of fight training and a secretary. Second of all: screw you!”

Red Hood pretended to wipe away a tear. “Best new sister yet.”

She grinned and finally leaned into him. “Thanks. I try.” Her smile dropped as she looked at the rest of the bat family. “As the only one to permanently defeat anyone, don’t you think I should get a bigger say in this?”

Robin raised his eyebrows and gave her the first smile she’d ever gotten from him, though it was gone quickly. Nightwing brought a hand to his mouth to stifle a laugh. Red Robin wasn’t even trying to hide the fact that he was laughing.

Batman seemed less amused, eyes narrowed. “How about we put it to a vote. Everyone who agrees with Ladybug, stand next to her. Everyone who agrees with me, stand here.”

Red Hood remained at her side, but Nightwing and Red Robin stepped closer to their father. Everyone’s eyes fell on Robin, who was looking between the two sides with a conflicted expression.

Then he took a spot by Red Hood.

Three on three. Great.

Marinette sighed. “This is why you don’t do votes with even numbers.”

They all looked at each other awkwardly. What do you do when you say you’re going to vote and then tie? It doesn’t really happen a lot, and even less so when it came to topics such as murder.

She sighed. “Fine, fine. If you can give an actually good option that doesn’t involve murder, I’d love to hear it.”

“We throw him in Arkham.”

“Arkham?”

“Yes.”

“The asylum where he’s broken out of a million times?”

“Yes.”

She rolled her eyes. “Great idea, but maybe we need something more permanent.”

“It’s not going to work, Ladybug,” said Nightwing with a shrug. “Man always comes back. I killed Joker myself once, Batman saved him, you just kind of have to accept that the man isn’t going to die.”

“Well, maybe if he didn’t save him --!” she began.

“We won’t be killing him and that’s final!” Said Batman.

All the kids looked at each other warily. The man’s voice had a dangerous sense of finality to it.

Marinette sighed and bit the inside of her cheek. “Fine. If we do it your way we’d have to lock up every major criminal in Gotham to make sure he couldn’t get out. Do you have some sort of plan for it?”

Red Robin raised his hand. “I do. You’re pretty new and no rogues have any clue what you sound, or even really look, like.”

She raised her eyebrows. “My ladybug costume is pretty recognizable.”

“True, no one else would wear something that tacky,” said Robin.

She stared at him for a second, anger flickering in her eyes. “Have you seen yourself, Mr. Traffic Light?”

Before they could argue any more, Red Robin cut in: “You mentioned taking Hawkmoth and Mayura’s miraculi. Try using one of those instead.”

She bit down on the inside of her cheek. Those were notoriously hard to corrupt and use for evil, and she didn’t want to put them through that again so soon. “I’ll think of something else, but fine. I’m going to become someone else so I can... have a different outfit?”

“We want you to get close to the Rogues.”

After another hour of going through their plans, then an extra few minutes to make sure everyone jotted it down, they finally knew what they were going to do.

Then she was handed a small black object. She blinked and looked up at Batman. “Um...?”

“It’s a way to communicate with us. Just press down and we’ll hear both you and whatever you’re hearing.”

“Is it bugged?”

“No. Nightwing tried, but if you want your privacy then you’re allowed it.”

She spun the small orb between her fingers and slowly placed it in her ear. She pressed down. “TESTING!” She yelled and watched everyone wince and hold their own ears. She smirked. “Great, I love it, thanks.”

“I don’t know what you were talking about, Robin, she’s great,” said Red Hood with an even wider grin once his head had stopped twanging painfully.

“Aw, he talks about me?” She cooed, resting a hand over her heart.

Red Robin grinned, still rubbing his temples a little bit, but he would never miss out on a chance to mess with his brother, so he spoke up: “Hardly ever stops, to be honest.”

“Ladybug this, Ladybug that. It got annoying,” said Nightwing with a small smirk playing across his face.

Then everyone finally broke into laughter as the poor kid began to flush bright red. “That’s just because she sucks! Stop making it sound like that!”

Needless to say, they only laughed harder.

With that they began to break off into groups. Red Robin and Robin went to arguing over who knows what. Nightwing and Batman were discussing the logistics of their plan. Now she was alone with Red Hood, who’s smile didn’t waver.

She glanced around to make sure no one was within earshot. “Gun?”

He gave her shoulder a small squeeze. “Gun.”

~~~

My brain at 3am: Miraculous But Actually Good

My current fic: ??

~

Taglist

@comet-kun @thatonecroc @trippingovermyfeet @swiftie-miraculer13 @nickristus-dreamer @moongoddesskiana @i-am-ironic @indecisive-mess-named-me @thebooki3h @insane-fangirl-of-everything @deepestobservationwombat @theymakeupfairies @fatimaabbasrizvi @clumsy-owl-4178 @fanofalittletoomuch @iamablinkmarvelarmy @nathleigh @lilkymilky @silvergold-swirl @dino-lovingreen-angel @thestressmademedoit @kissa-chan @ladybug-182 @alysrose-starchild @t1dwarrior-of-earth @spyofthenightcourt @rowanrouge @nik-nak-3 @momothefemur @aestheticnpoetic @labschaos @our-preciousss @mochinek0 @eliza-bich @mythogaychic @severelyenchantedwonderland @sashakoi @smolplantmum @bluesimani

#for those of you who don't know #immanuel kant #is a dick who thinks there's a strict code of right and wrong #timinette #timari #marinette dupain cheng #ladybug #tim drake #red robin #satisfied #maribat

[thelastspeecher]

A New Inconvenience

Wrote some more for the Marriage of Convenience AU.  Enjoy.

—————————————————————————————— 

              Ford walked through the front door.  He smiled at the already familiar sight of Stan playing with Orion and Iris in the living room.

              “Hello, my dears,” he cooed, kneeling by his children. Orion and Iris promptly latched onto him, embracing him as tightly as their tiny arms could manage.  “Did you have a good day with Uncle Stan?”

              “Miss Dada,” Orion mumbled.  Ford kissed the top of his son’s head.

              “I missed you as well.”

              “Uncy Stan took good care of ‘em, don’t worry,” Stan said breezily.  Ford scowled at him.  “What?”

              “How many times must I tell you to stop using improper language?”

              “I didn’t swear!”

              “No, you just completely butchered a word.”

              “You act like me calling myself Uncy Stan is gonna permanently screw up the way they talk or something,” Stan scoffed.  Iris tugged on Ford’s shirt.  Glad for the distraction, Ford smiled at his daughter.

              “Yes, Iris?”

              “Mama sad.”

              “…Pardon?”

              “Oh, yeah,” Stan said, nodding.  “Angie came in a bit ago, looking pretty upset.” Ford’s blood ran cold.

              “She had a doctor appointment today,” he said quietly.  Stan’s eyes widened.

              “Shi- shoot.  Maybe she just hates the doc?”

              “No.  She’s very upbeat after doctor’s appointments.”  Ford rose to his feet.  “I’m going to speak with your mother, continue playing with Uncle Stan.” Orion and Iris looked disappointed, but toddled back to Stan.

              Ford strode quickly down the hall, past the twins’ nursery and the guest room Stan had officially moved into, until he arrived at the room he shared with Angie.  The door was ajar.  Ford slowly opened it.  Angie sat on their bed.  To his relief, she didn’t seem particularly distressed, the way he’d imagine she would if she got bad news from the doctor.  She looked more conflicted, as though she hadn’t decided her feelings.

              “Angie?” he said tentatively.  Angie looked up.  She managed a weak smile.

              “Stanford.”

              “Stan told me you seemed upset after your doctor’s appointment.”  Ford crossed over to the bed and sat next to his wife.  “Is everything all right?”

              “Depends on how you define it.”

              “Angie, please don’t beat around the bush.”

              “Remember what we were doin’ ‘fore Stan showed up?” Angie asked, ignoring Ford’s request.  “How we were plannin’ to add more to our fam’ly?”

              “Yes.  But we stopped after Stan arrived.”

              “Well.  It didn’t make much of a dif’rence.”

              “Oh.  Oh, no.” Ford’s heart sunk.  “No.  You’re-”

              “I’m pregnant.”

              “We were only trying for a week!”

              “That’s all it takes, sometimes.”  Angie was maddeningly calm, but then again, she wanted a big family.  Ford pushed back the reminder that, before Stan showed up, he had also wanted a third child, hoping that having another baby would improve his marriage like the twins had.  “All I can say is I hope it ain’t twins again.  I love Orion ‘n Iris, but carryin’ two babies at once is rough.”

              “How could this have happened?” Ford moaned, putting his head in his hands.

              “You know.  You were there.”

              “Why are you taking this so well?” Ford snapped. Angie crossed her legs, tilting her head thoughtfully.

              “Well, I figure, can’t do much ‘bout it now. Stressin’ will only make things more difficult on me and the baby.”

              Yes.  Stress was the source of some of her complications with the twins.  Ford closed his eyes, terror suddenly surging through him.  Angie’s first pregnancy had been difficult for them both.  It might make me a coward, but I don’t know if I can do that again.

              “Stanford?”  A hand was gently placed on Ford’s back.  “Talk to me.”

              “I…”  Ford stood up.  “I think I need to go for a walk and clear my head.”

              “All right.”  Angie continued to be infuriatingly level-headed.  “But durin’ this walk, please don’t grab one of yer cigarettes that ya think ya keep hidden so well from me.  I can barely tolerate that smoke smell when I’m not pregnant.”

              “I recall.”  Ford frowned at her.  “You knew I picked up smoking again?”

              “Oh, darlin’, yer not nearly as sneaky as ya think ya are,” Angie said with a smile.  Ford managed a small smile of his own.  He leaned over to kiss Angie on the cheek.

              “I’ll be back shortly.  And I won’t smell of cigarette smoke.”

              “Thank you, dear.”  Ford left the bedroom and headed for the front door.  Before he could leave the house, however, Stan, still supervising the children in the living room, spoke up.

              “What’s going on, Sixer?”

              “Oh.  Well…” Ford looked over at his twin. Stan was uncharacteristically nervous.

              But then again, he’s quite fond of Angie.  Who wouldn’t be?

              “Angie’s fine.  She just got some unexpected news.  I’m going to go on a walk.  I’ll be back in about ten minutes.”

              “Oh.  Okay. Uh, have a good walk, I guess.”

              “I’ll do my best.”  Ford walked outside, down the front steps, and began to make his way down the street.  He hadn’t even gotten a block away, however, when there was a shout behind him.

              “Hey, Ford, wait up!”  Ford looked over his shoulder.  Stan had left the house as well and was jogging to catch up with him. “Figured you could use a walking buddy,” Stan said once he was by Ford’s side.

              “The children-”

              “Angie said she was gonna watch ‘em.”  Stan cocked his head curiously.  “You seem pretty high-strung right now.  What’s going on?”

              “I…”  Ford sighed. He stuffed his hands into his pockets and began to walk again.  Stan began to walk as well.  “Angie’s pregnant.”

              “Oh.”  Stan blinked. “Okay.  Not what I was expecting.  But why are you in the same boat as me?  I thought you said that the only reason you and Angie knock boots is to have kids.”

              “You showed up, resulting in us ceasing our…conception attempts after only a week.”

              “Ford, it only takes one time.”

              “I know!” Ford burst out.

              “Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Stan said soothingly. He put his arm around Ford’s shoulders. “Do you not want another kid?”

              “I honestly don’t know, Stanley.”

              “You clearly wanted one at some point.”

              “I…”  Ford’s head drooped.  “I didn’t. Not really.”

              “Then why the hell were you trying to have one?”

              “…I don’t want to tell you.”

              “C’mon.  I’m not gonna judge you.  You have the authority to kick me outta your guest room.”

              “I thought it would benefit my marriage,” Ford mumbled.  Stan came to a sudden stop, staring at Ford.  Ford stopped as well.  “What?”

              “You- you wanted to have another kid because your marriage was on the rocks?” Stan whispered.

              “Well, to be fair, the conclusion was rooted in evidence.  Angie and I struggled a lot our first year of marriage, but when Orion and Iris were born, our relationship became much better.”  Ford shrugged.  “Recently, we started arguing over minor matters, becoming frustrated, even sleeping in separate beds.  I merely decided to revisit a potential solution that I knew worked.”

              “Stanford, you decided to have a baby just to save your relationship.  That’s- that’s fucked up.”

              “What happened to not judging me?”

              “I said that ‘cause I didn’t think you’d do something so damn stupid!  You wanted to make another human being.  Because you were fighting with your wife.”

              “What’s done is done, Stanley,” Ford snapped.  “I can’t reverse it.”  He could feel hot shame pulsing through his body.  Until Stan had pointed it out, he hadn’t considered how careless the decision to have another child was.

              He’s right.

              “I mean…”  Stan rubbed the back of his neck.  He looked away awkwardly.  “It’s early enough that if you want, you could reverse the baby.”

              “You- you mean Angie terminating the pregnancy.”

              “…Yeah.”

              “Even if I wanted to do that, which I don’t, Angie never would.  She’s not against others doing that, but she personally won’t.”  The issue had come up when Angie was pregnant with Orion and Iris. The doctor voiced some concern over Angie’s low weight and nutrient levels, and suggested they reduce the twins to a singleton.  Ford had to stop Angie from slapping the doctor.

              “Fine.  What about adoption?” Stan suggested.  “I bet there are a lot of people out there who would love to have a smart, cute kid. I know I would.”

              “Give up my child?”  Ford thought back to the day that Orion and Iris were born.  The surge of love and happiness at seeing their extra fingers and toes.  How thrilled he’d been to see the distinctive birthmark on Orion’s back that resulted in his name.  Running his fingers through Iris’s bright red hair for the first time.

              If I gave up my child, I’d give that up, too. Like a prophetic vision, images came to Ford’s mind.  A newborn girl with Angie’s nose and his eyes, wispy brown hair, and a laugh that could melt the stoniest of hearts.  Tears sprang to Ford’s eyes.  I can’t even stand the idea of missing out on my third child’s life. When the day comes, I’d never be able to place her or him for adoption.

              “No,” Ford said finally.  He shook his head.  “No, I can’t do that.”

              “Sounds like you made up your mind, then,” Stan said.

              “Heh.”  Ford managed a small smile.  “I suppose I did.”  He looked at Stan.  “Thank you, Stanley.”

              “Hey, I’m here to help you and Angie out,” Stan said with a shrug.  “This is just part of that.”  He grinned. “And if I get a new niece or nephew outta this, I’m not gonna complain.”

              “Even though, as the live-in nanny, you’ll be responsible for her or his care once Angie and I run out of parental leave.”

              “Eh, I can handle it,” Stan said confidently. Ford raised an eyebrow.

              “Newborns are very different from toddlers, you know.”

              “Angie can show me the ropes before I ever get left alone with the kid.”  Ford bristled instinctively.

              “Angie and I split responsibilities evenly. Just because she’s a woman, I won’t be saddling her with the majority of childcare.”

              “Whoa, I didn’t mean it like that!” Stan said, holding his hands up in defeat.  “I just- Angie’s- Angie’s pretty great.  And- and maternity leave is longer than paternity leave anyways, right?  She’ll probably be spending more time at home than you.”

              “Yes, she will have more time off than I,” Ford confirmed.  Stan nodded.

              “Yeah, that’s what I was getting at.”  Stan cleared his throat.  “Anyways, uh, we should probably get back.  Orion and Iris get fussy around this time.”  Ford nodded.

              “That sounds like a good idea.”  He and Stan turned around and began to walk back home. “Angie and I will have to come up with some names.”

              “Easy.  Stanley.”

              “What if it’s a girl?” Ford asked, genuinely concerned about what Stan would say.  The answer was immediate.

              “Staniella.”

              “And you claim Orion is bad.”

#jafnskldfna the title I went with for this ficlet. I'm a big fan lmao. #Stanford Pines #Stanley Pines #Angie McGucket #Marriage of Convenience AU #ficlet #my writing #speecher speaks

[thedigitalnativee]

do mi ti. (fred weasley x fem!oc x theodore nott)

summary: during the spring of ‘96, fred and george weasley departed from hogwarts. but fred didn’t just leave hogwarts behind, he left his beloved lena too. while fred was gone, lena made a mistake that is now threatening to come to life.

warnings: ANGST, mentions of death, mentions of cheating, like super slight nsfw (literally will miss it if you blink), i think that's it but let me know if i missed anything.

notes: i split it into two parts and i will post part two as soon as it’s finished. lena’s name is pronounced LEH-na (the european way, not the english way) and her house is ravenclaw :)

Lena face claim:

•••••••••

It had been six months since Fred and Lena had been reunited.

She had been at The Burrow with Mrs. Weasley, waiting for the seven “Harry’s” to return. She had no idea Fred was on the mission until she saw Harry’s boy-ish face transition into Fred’s freckled, masculine one.

It was the first time she’d seen him since he and George left Hogwarts.

Since that night, Lena had been attached to Fred at the hip. She never wanted him to leave the way he did again.

But there was something she was hiding. Something that she planned to take to her grave.

~

December 31, 1996

Lena’s hands gripped the expensive fabric of Theo’s white dress shirt, pulling him into her. His hands roamed across her back gently. Both of their minds were slightly hazed by the amount of alcohol both of them had consumed. The sound of the other’s ringing in the new year echoed down the hall where they were.

Theo pressed Lena against the cobblestone of the dungeons. Her legs wrapped around his waist and she felt his manhood rubbing against her sex. Lena tilted her head back and let out a breathy moan as his lips attacked her neck. “God, you’re so beautiful,” Theo whispered against her skin and she felt a chill run down her spine.

Lena’s nails dug into his back as she heard him begin to unbuckle his belt. She peppered sweet kisses down his neck, her moans vibrating through his skin as he pushed her panties to the side.

He very slowly lowered her onto him, letting each inch of himself sink into her. Lena breathed out as he bottomed out inside of her. Theo buried his face in her neck, grunting as he gripped her hips. “Theo,” She breathed.

Lena gently moved up and down to meet his thrusts. A delicious swoon came over her as Theo pulled her top down to reveal one of her breasts. His soft lips wrapped around the sweet bud and sucked lightly, swirling his tongue over the sensitive skin.

She didn’t want to admit it, but he felt better than anyone else she’d been with.

He even felt better than Fred.

Months of yearning for each other. Stealing glances from across the library and potions classroom. Their passion had built up, boiling over and burning them. Just the touch of Theo’s fingers on her sent the young witch into a tizzy. The way he kissed her and held her so tenderly was so unlike Fred, but it was oh so good.

Theo lightly bit down on her shoulder as both of them came to their climax. Lena cried out as her orgasm hit her in waves. Each of Theo’s thrusts sent shockwaves through her. His eyes screwed shut as he spilled into her warmth. “Fuck, Lena.” He said lowly.

Moments later, after the fact, the guilt consumed her. She could feel the tears and the panic rise as she and Theo stood in silence.

She had cheated on Fred.

How could she do that?

She loved Fred, Fred loved her. She had no reason to be unfaithful, right?

It had just been so long. Lena hadn’t spoken to Fred in nearly a year. She craved a man’s presence, the feeling of someone else’s weight on her. And Theo was handsome and intriguing and he wanted her as much as she wanted him.

It would never happen again. She didn’t need Theo when she had Fred.

She loved Fred and didn’t want anyone else. She’d chalk up her encounter with Theo as a moment of weakness. Fred was her soulmate, and that was all.

~

July 27, 1997

Lena’s head rested against Theo’s chest. Theo played with each of her fingers

The war was beginning to rage and so was Lena’s anxiety. Not only did she have no clue where Fred was, but she knew Theo wanted to fight.

Theo was stubborn and still had that Slytherin determination as if he had something to prove. Ever since he defected from being a Death Eater, he had this horrible chip on his shoulder. He wanted a fight, he looked one for everywhere he went. He’d settled a little bit, finally, after Lena convinced him to go into hiding. She thanked the gods every day that Molly agreed to take him in until Tonks found somewhere permanent for him to stay.

Theo often mentioned the idea of running away. Just her and him, moving from place to place before they settled once all of it was over. But Lena refused. She had to see the war through to the end. But in all honesty, the idea was tempting. Especially if it meant that Theo would be safe.

Their affair started as a way for her to cope. Fred was gone and she craved companionship. She desperately needed to feel the weight of a man on top of her, holding her. But it turned out that Theo was too good at his job.

She started to feel more for him very quickly. And she swore that the moment she started to feel soft on him, she would never lay with him again. But then it kept happening. Before she even realized it, she was kissing down his chest as her hands roamed across his broad back.

And now, here she laid on his chest, overwhelmed with anxiety over his well-being.

Part of her felt guilty. Technically she was still with Fred. But she hadn’t seen Fred in a year.

When Fred and George left Hogwarts, they truly left without a trace. No one, not even Molly, had heard from the two boys in ages. The last thing Lena heard about them was that they were traveling across the continent selling products from their business.

But she was also angry. If Fred truly loved her as much as he claimed, why hadn’t he written to her? Why hadn’t he called? Was he so busy that he couldn’t even be bothered to pass along a message or send a bouquet of flowers on her birthday? The fact that he was able to continue in life so easily without her hurt.

“We could still run, you know? I could make a portkey that’ll have us in Iceland by morning.” Theo smiled down at her.

Lena chuckled lightly, “The answer is still no, Silly. Now come, Molly must need help with dinner for Harry and the others when they touchdown in a few.” She said as she got out of bed.

They’d been keeping themselves a secret from Molly. Though Theo was fairly certain that she had her suspicions. Nonetheless, Lena made sure she entered and exited his room as discreetly as possible.

She got dressed and placed a sweet kiss on his cheek. Before she could walk away, Theo caught her wrist. She turned back around and looked at him with confusion.

Theo’s face looked grim as he swallowed harshly. He gently pulled her down to sit next to him. He sat up slowly and cupped her face in his hands, his hands flattening her hair. Lena’s brows furrowed as his eyes ran across her face. “What’s the matter?” She placed her hands on his wrists.

He shook his head and let his thumb rub her cheek, “Nothing. Just let me look at you.” He caressed the top of her hair and forehead.

Lena closed her eyes and let herself feel his touch. She tried to ignore the guilt racking through her.

Fred, Fred, Fred.

What’s wrong with you? You love Fred.

Fred is who you want, remember? Your loving boyfriend who would do anything for you?

Theo’s hands drew patterns across her cheeks. He connected the beauty marks on her skin with lines and squiggles. He drew stars above her eyebrows before letting his fingers ghost over her lips. And just as he leaned in for a kiss, Lena cleared her throat and stood.

“Dinner,” She said, “We should go help Molly with dinner.”

Theo fell back onto the bed with a sigh, his bare chest glistening. “I’d rather stay here and have an obscene amount of sex with you.” He smirked and Lena felt butterflies soar through her stomach.

Lena rolled her eyes playfully, “Haha, very funny.” She put her hair up. “Try to do something though. Even if you don’t come downstairs and help with dinner. I hate how you stay locked away in this room. Read one of Percy’s old books, or ask Ginny if she’ll go for a round of quidditch.” She suggested.

“You’re right, I should do something. Come here and keep me busy.” He said suggestively.

Lena stopped at the door and chuckled, “Always a cheek one, You.”

She raised her hand and twirled her fingers lightly. “Amorcaptus.”

The spell lightly flowed towards Theo. Pink and crimson hearts danced through the air, dissipating once they got to him. A smile came to both of their lips. “What’s this?” Theo asked her.

“Amorcaptus. It’s a lesser-known spell now, but it was really popular in Germany when my mother was young.” She explained to him.

Her mother taught it to her when Lena was very young. “With love” is what it meant. Her mother told her that it became popular in Germany during World War II when many Jewish witches and wizards cast it as a final goodbye to one another before they were separated.

Lena couldn’t tell Theo she loved him. It was wrong and a horrible thing to do to Fred. So she said it with her magic instead, hoping it would be enough to get the message across.

She shrugged, “It’s the only wandless magic I know. Maybe one day I’ll teach it to you.” She smiled and then she was gone.

Later that night, Lena helped Molly set up the extra rooms for when everyone touched down at The Burrow. And after practically begging him, Lena convinced Theo to read one of Percy’s books. He settled on 1984 by George Orwell.

As Lena fluffed the pillows on Ron’s bed she heard the familiar crack of thunder sound off outside. A moment later, Molly called up to her to tell her that Hagrid and Harry had made it back safely.

Lena ran down the stairs and outside to the front lawn. “Harry!” She smiled and wrapped her arms around his short frame in a hug. “You’re okay?”

Harry nodded, “Has no one else come back?” He asked.

“No, you two are the only ones so far.” Lena told him.

Harry’s skin paled slightly before he put on a smile as to not worry Lena. But Lena could see the thoughts in his head swimming.

Ginny came outside, followed by Theo. Lena felt her breath hitch at the sight of him, still stunned by handsome he was after all this time.

Harry ran to Ginny and lifted her into the air. “I was so worried,” Ginny said as Harry spun them around.

Theo’s eyes caught Lena’s and he slowly strode towards her with a slight smile. Lena saw Harry’s face drop at the sight of Theo, his jaw clenching with contempt.

Lena was well aware of how Harry, Ron, and Hermione felt about Theo. And she loved her friends, but she couldn’t tell them about her and Theo. They didn’t even understand why she was nice to him at all. To them, he was just another Death Eater that defected to avoid prison. She couldn’t imagine how they would react to her and Theo being together.

Everyone was focused on Theo discreetly linked his pinky finger with Lena’s. His ice touch made her gasp slightly. It was the most public display of affection they had ever shared, though it was still so small.

Lena closed her eyes while Theo’s eyes scanned over her sculpted face. As he stared at Lena he took in every detail. How the moon beat down on her freckled skin. The way the wind blew her raven-colored hair across her face. Her fluttering, silken lashes and the soft champagne pink of her cheeks.

His lips parted slightly as he tried not to let his thoughts get away from him. But he couldn’t help the way his thoughts ran wild.

Theo cleared his throat, “Lena, I-”

Almost as soon as he opened his mouth, another crack of thunder came down. Lena’s eyes shot open and she didn’t even realize that Theo had said anything.

Her body reacted before her mind fully registered that it was him. At the sight of his fiery hair and tall frame, an electric current soared through her.

He looked up, his downturned eyes looking towards The Burrow. That was when she knew it was him.

Lena didn’t think twice before snatching her hand away from Theo, running towards Fred with a sob. Theo winced and tried not to show his disappointment on his face. He rubbed the back of his neck to hide his reaction.

Fred’s eyes found Lena as she ran to him with her arms outstretched. A feeling of pure euphoria came over him when she hauled herself into his arms. Her legs wrapped around his waist, her hair forming a curtain on his shoulders. He felt her tears staining his clothing as she violently sobbed.

“Oh, my love.” She cried into his neck before pulling back and kissing him on his plump and slightly bruised lips.

A year. That’s how long it had been since their lips touched, since she had held her face in her hands and looked at him so closely.

Fred smiled against Lena’s lips, “Hello, Lovey. Missed me, I assume?” He asked into the kiss.

Lena almost felt like slapping him harshly across the face. How could he be so nonchalant about disappearing for a year? It was like their time apart meant nothing to him. He didn’t even shed a single tear. “What are you- What are you doing here?”

“George and I decided to surprise everyone. We got the message about the mission and showed up at the Dursley’s. Quite a shock for everyone when they saw us.” He explained.

Theo wasn’t even a thought in her mind anymore. That was until she saw him again, and her feelings for him flooded through her all over again. Her love for him hit her like a tidal wave. She hugged Fred but she couldn’t tear her eyes away from Theo.

You fool. Theo thought. What did you expect? You both always knew that this arrangement was temporary.

Fred set Lena down and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. He saw Theo standing a few feet away and smiled at him. Theo tried to put on a smile to be polite. “Nott, it’s good to see on the right side.” Fred nodded at him as he walked towards the house with Lena.

“Thanks, Mate...” Theo acknowledged.

Fred patted his shoulder, “Yeah, no problem. It feels good to do good.” He said to the younger wizard passive-aggressively.

It feels good to do your girlfriend, you fire-crotched bloke. Theo couldn’t help but think.

Theo felt like tackling Fred and slapping his smug smile off of his face. He knew how the Weasley’s felt about his Death Eater past and heritage. He knew that most of the Order of the Phoenix looked down upon him. He was tired of putting up with the staring and the whispers and the backhanded comments.

But instead of slamming Fred to the ground, Theo just nodded. “Yeah... feels good.”

Lena felt like her heart was nosediving into her stomach. Her two lovers were interacting with each other. Their alpha-male personalities were clashing slightly. She silently hoped that one wouldn’t say something to set off the other, fearing where confrontation may lead.

Fred kissed the top of her head and Lena eyed Theo guiltily. Theo just stared back at her with an unreadable expression.

“Come on, Lovey. Smells like Mum’s made beef casserole.” He said and Lena smiled slightly at his keen sense of smell.

Theo watched the pair of them saunter towards the house, Lena’s hands running through Fred’s hair and her soft lips peppering kisses across his face.

Lena tried to focus on Fred and how he was finally with her again. She tried to force herself to feel that joy she should have felt after seeing him so long. But she could tell that she was only happy to see him because she felt obligated to. And she also realized that she would have rather been kissing Theo.

~

August 1, 1997

Fred and Lena laid in bed together with nothing flowing between them, despite having just made love to one another.

They had tried to restore what they once had. They spent all of their time together, they tried different ways of showing their affection to each other, they even tried new things in bed to see where it may lead. Nonetheless, Fred and Lena were at all standstill.

Fred could tell from his first night back that she was apprehensive. But he just thought that it was because they hadn’t met for a year. He figured her wariness around him would go away with time. But after nearly two weeks, something was still plaguing his witch.

It wasn’t that she didn’t love him anymore. She’d checked after there was no spark when they made love that first night. She did still love him with all of her heart. But she couldn’t escape how much she missed Theo. She craved his lips and his touch. She craved it so much that Fred’s lips and touch felt like nothing against her skin.

So, she had come to realize she loved them both.

Lena pulled the covers over her chest as she cleared her throat. “The wedding is gonna start soon. We should get ready.” She said and he nodded.

He didn’t know if he should ask her if something was wrong. He could be opening a can of worms without even realizing it. But he wanted her to look at him the way she used to. Like he was the best thing in the world.

“Lena,” He started as she began to get dressed.

Lena turned away from him and scrunched her face. She recognized that tone in the older wizard’s voice. She tried to pretend like she didn’t hear him say her name. Perhaps he wouldn’t try to call to her again if she ignored him.

“Lena,” He said more firm, “we need to find time to talk today.” He stated.

Lena winced internally but said nothing but, “Alright.”

She left almost immediately after, deciding to spend the rest of the day with Fleur and the other bridesmaids. Being around her cousin had been effective in distracting her from Fred and Theo. Plus she could always talk to Fleur considering she was the only person that knew about Theo.

Lena would have told Hermione, but she knew the Gryffindor Princess wouldn’t understand no matter how hard she tried to. She hated that she couldn’t even tell her best friend.

At the wedding reception, Lena tried her best to avoid Fred. She knew it was the perfect time for him to pull her away and speak to her. She just wasn’t ready to confess to him.

She tried biting back that slight pang of jealousy she got when she saw Fred talking to Angelina, his ex. She knew when she and Fred started dating that he would always have a bond with Angie to an extent. Plus, she rationalized that she couldn’t be upset considering Theo.

About an hour into the reception, Fred finally approached his girlfriend. He came up behind her and gently wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his chin on the space between her shoulder and her neck. He placed a soft kiss on her neck, “You look gorgeous in blue.” He smiled and so did she.

Lena closed her eyes and silently prayed he wouldn’t bring up wanting to talk with her. “You look good in orange, but we already knew that.” She giggled.

“Do you want to dance?” He asked.

Lena titled to look at him before she nodded apprehensively. Fred smiled a bit more as he took her hand and led her to the dance floor.

Theo watched from outside of the tent. He would have joined the others, but he wasn’t sure if he was welcome. Despite Bill and Fleur saying he was more than welcome, he still felt like an outsider. But it wouldn’t have mattered or hurt nearly as much if he had Lena.

He had kept his distance from her since Fred’s return. He didn’t want to complicate things even more for her. But he had to admit that he missed her, and being away from her was agony.

He watched Fred and Lena dance together. Her head rested on his chest as they swayed. Fred’s fingers gently raked through her dark hair as he kissed the top of her head. Her eyes fluttered closed in contentment.

Theo cursed himself for the ache in his heart. What a foolish, sorry sack you’ve become. He thought.

He had had his share of conquests. He, Blaise, and Draco had flipped the skirts of many dames in their time as young men. He’d even had an affair with the daughter of the caretaker at his parent’s home in Greece. So, he wasn’t able to understand why the thought of not having Lena anymore pained him.

Never had he ever felt for a girl the way he felt for Lena. He felt like a fool, stupidly in love with a girl who used him. But he couldn’t help but love her. Who wouldn’t fall in love with a girl as beautiful and kind and intelligent as Lena?

Oh, how he wished that he could dance with her publicly. Or do anything publicly, for that matter.

He wanted her, he wanted her in the true way. Not in the way of sneaking around, kissing in empty dark rooms, and linking pinky fingers. He wanted to hold her hand as they walked down the streets of Diagon Alley. He wanted to sit with her in a sandwich shop and talk the way they did in private. He wanted her to read him in the mornings as he made her coffee just the way she liked it.

He just wanted her.

“You could go inside if you’d like.” He heard a girly voice from the side of him.

Theo turned and saw the infamously quirky Luna Lovegood. She had a slight smile on her lips and her eyes gaped just like always.

“What?” He asked the strange girl.

“I’m sure no one will mind if you go inside. I think Lena would enjoy seeing you.” She said as if she could read his mind.

He wanted to scoff at her. How naive of her to think that the situation was so black and white. But he held his laugh in, remembering how Lena told him that Luna didn’t have very many friends.

“It’s a bit more complicated than that, Luna.” He pushed his hands into his pockets.

A giggle escaped her, “That’s not very Slytherin of you.” She shrugged absently.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” He said, slightly offended.

He was so sick of the other three houses looking down upon Slytherin. As if they were the only house to produce dark wizards and Death Eaters. And being constantly surrounded by Gryffindors, Ravenclaws, and Hufflepuffs made him the outlet for almost everyone’s animosity towards Slytherin.

“I don’t mean to offend you. I only mean to say that my favorite quality about Slytherin house has always been your drive and desire to get what you want. It’s not like you to walk away from something you desire.” She explained.

Theo’s defenses came down slightly as she explained herself. He should have known better. Luna Lovegood would befriend a Dementor if she could.

He looked down at the dress shoes Arthur let him borrow, “She doesn’t want me.” He said quietly.

“Sure she does. I’ve seen how you look at each other. She’s just scared is all. But I’m fairly certain she’ll feel better once you tell her how you feel.” Luna assured him.

He felt her place her hand on his shoulder. The two of them stood there in silence, staring at the jubilant scene in the tent.

He’d always dismissed the eclectic Ravenclaw as daft. She did tend to go off on irrelevant tangents. And she did come off as an airhead at times. But Luna Lovegood was actually quite insightful. And she was pretty good at giving advice.

Theo heard a rushing sound from above, a small blue light visible out of the corner of his eye. Both he and Luna looked up and saw a blue sphere flying past them and directly towards the tent.

“Well, that’s peculiar,” Luna said as Theo pulled her away from the tent with him.

Lena heard gasps from around her and felt Fred’s grip on her tighten. She opened her eyes just as the Patronus landed in the center of the room. Fred pulled her behind him to shield her from any potential danger.

Everyone backed away from the Patronus, which Lena now recognized as Shacklebolt’s lynx. Lena peered around Fred and spotted Hermione across the tent. She felt someone grip her hand and looked down to see Fleur’s manicured hand.

“The Ministry has fallen. Scrimgeour is dead. They are coming.” The Patronus announced cryptically.

Lena felt her blood run cold. Without The Ministry, there was no form of government to keep the Death Eaters at bay. The Death Eaters essentially had the will to do whatever they pleased.

The Patronus disappeared and the entire tent went into a panic. Everyone began to either run or disapparate as far away from The Burrow as they could.

Bill and Fred kept Fleur and Lena behind them as they found their way to George and Ginny. Death Eaters began to invade the tent, casting killing curses almost as soon as they apparated in.

Lena’s mind raced.

We’ve lost. We’ve lost the war.

My parents don’t know if I’m safe. I don’t know if they’re safe.

Harry. They’ll kill Harry. He’s our only hope.

Theo...

Theo!

Her thoughts stopped running about when his name came to mind.

Theo. She thought. He’s still at the house. They’ll kill him and hang him for all to see if he’s found.

She began to feel sick. She remembered how Theo told her that his father vowed to kill him himself for abandoning the Dark Lord’s cause. And now, possibly an army of Death Eaters were on their way to The Burrow.

She couldn’t leave him, she wouldn’t.

Theo couldn’t die.

He can’t die! She panicked internally.

Not after they worked so hard to protect him. Not after he made her love him.

Lena stopped running, gently pulling Fleur back. Fleur turned and looked at her like she’d lost her mind. She didn’t even think before she began tugging her along again. “Lena, let’s go!” Fleur yelled.

“No! No, Theo is at the house still! We have to go get him!” She said to her cousin.

Fleur gave Lena an apologetic stare, “We have to go, Lena. When we get somewhere safe we’ll send a signal to let him know where we are.” She tried to pull the younger witch along again.

“No!” Lena insisted.

Before she could protest anymore, Bill intervened. He gripped Lena’s other hand in his, making sure the hold was tight. Instinctively, Lena gripped his hand back. She didn’t realize what he was doing until it was too late. She saw Fred and George’s hands on both of Bill’s shoulders. Ginny had her arms around his waist tightly. As soon as Lena tried to pull her hand away, Bill disapparated all six of them out of the tent.

Theo and Luna watched as people began rushing out of the tent.

Theo’s feet immediately started carrying him towards the tent, towards Lena. But Luna pulled him back before he got too far.

Xenophilius rushed out of the tent and frantically searched for his daughter. Luna spotted his floral waistcoat and his ice hair. “Here, Dad!” She called to him.

When Theo saw him, he knew that the man had to be Luna’s kin. They were dressed almost exactly the same and he had the same silver eyes as Luna.

Xenophilius came to the two young wizards, “Thank the gods, you’re alright.” He hugged his daughter. “Come, we must leave immediately. We’ll stay at your grandmother’s until everything settles.” He added and Luna nodded.

Xenophilius’ eyes landed on Theo. He recognized him as the boy the Weasley clan had taken in. The defected Death Eater. He held no prejudice towards the young boy. After all, he was just a boy and not much older than Luna. He couldn’t leave him.

“You are welcome to come too, my boy,” Xenophilius said to Theo.

Theo didn’t know why, but Xenophilius’ invitation shocked him. He knew that much of The Order didn’t care for him. He had expected to be left as Death Eater bait. He hadn’t expected Xenophilius or anyone to offer him asylum.

Xenophilius saw the wheels turning in Theo’s head. “It’s alright, Son. Any friend of Luna’s is a friend of mine.” He said sincerely as he offered Theo his hand.

Theo swallowed harshly, Lena’s sly smile and freckles coming into his mind. “Lena,” He strained out.

“Lena Humphries?” Xenophilius asked recalling how Lena had been something of a role model for Luna. Theo perked up and Xenophilius nodded, “She’s safe, I believe. I saw her disapparate with the bride and groom.” He reassured Theo.

A Death Eater soared past them and Xenophilius pulled Luna closer. The Death Eater landed and cast a killing curse at one of the guests. The sight of the green beam shook Theo to his core.

“We must go!” Xenophilius said to them and Theo nodded, finally taking the man’s hand.

Theo closed his eyes to shield himself from the chaos around him. He wondered if his father was among the Death Eaters attacking the wedding. He felt his body separating as Xenophilius disapparated them. The last image he saw being The Burrow up in flames.

#fred weasley #fred and george #fred weasley fanfiction #fred weasley fic #fred weasley imagine #fred weasley one shot #fred weasley x ravenclaw!reader #fred weasley x oc #theodore nott #theodore nott imagine #theodore nott x reader #harry potter #harry potter fanfiction #ravenclaw #fanfic #weasley family #draco malfoy #malfoy family #deathly hallows #gryffindor #slytherin

[mochegato]

Covert Marriage

Covert Dating     Covert Romance     Covert Wedding

Prompt sent in by @redscarlet95 - what happens when Marinette’s family and friends find out about the wedding?

“Okay… are you ready for this?” Before Jason could respond, Marinette continued her decent into rambling madness. “Am I ready for this?  Oh God, I’m not ready for this.  We are not ready for this.  This is going to be terrible.  They’re going to hate me and kick me out and I’ll be homeless.  Homeless, Jason, homeless!”  Jason gave her a bemused smile and grabbed her hand with his free hand, his other hand loosely gripping the rental car’s steering wheel.  She had been catastrophizing over telling her parents about their sudden elopement on and off for the last few weeks, ever since they got back to Gotham from their wedding.  

“Pixie, Love, Light of my Life, we have our own apartment and you’re already making it into a beautiful home. You won’t be homeless.  And they won’t hate you.  They love you.  They will still love you after this,” he assured her.  Marinette looked at him doubtfully, her mind still racing with all the terrible possibilities her anxiety had convinced her were inevitable.

He knew somewhere in her mind she knew he was right and he would be more concerned about the reveal of their marriage to her parents if she hadn’t reassured him on multiple occasions, after she had calmed down from her panic attack, that it would be fine, really.  Her parents were amazing and they might be surprised and maybe a bit disappointed, but they would still love her and they would welcome him with open arms… eventually. So, he let her panic run its course for the time being, with only minor interference to keep it from going too dark, and instead focused on the road ahead of them, occasionally squeezing her hand to offer silent support.

Marinette looked down at their hands with a small smile before her eyes widened in horror, “Oh my God, my ring!  They’re going to know as soon as they see the ring.  I should… we shouldn’t… You know what?  We should ease them into this instead.  We should… You should be my boyfriend first.  Yeah!  I should take off my ring so they… so it will all be okay.  They can meet you as my boyfriend first… or just a friend.  Maybe you can walk by and we can pretend we are meeting for the first time?  We can tell them about the marriage in a year or two… we’ll have to have a second ceremony, but that should be fine.  We just have to let your family know not to mention anything whenever they finally meet. We’ll have to sedate Dick, but that’s for the best for everyone really.  How long do you think we can keep him sedated before causing permanent damage?”

Jason laughed before giving her a gentle look, “Marinette, no.  As much as I love the idea of tranquing Dick, it will all be okay.  Please don’t take your ring off.  Your parents would be more upset if they found out you lied to them and especially if everyone but them knew,” he said calmly trying to reason with her.  “They love you.  They can handle this.  So can we. We will be fine, Pix.  And I will be there right next to you the whole time, yeah?”

“Yeah?” she gave him an uncertain look.

“Yeah,” he said running his finger along her cheek with his free hand.  “Come on, you’ve taken on a city full of zombies. You can handle this.”

She gave him a firm smile, “Right.  We can do this.  We’re a team. We can handle anything.  Okay, recon report: Sabine Cheng and Tom Dupain.  Marital status, married… to each other.  Occupation, bakers who own their own business, a very popular boulangerie and patisserie in Paris.  One child, a daughter currently in this rental car with you, who got married to you without their knowledge.  Age, you don’t need to know.  

“Psych work up, Sabine has a glare that would put Batman to shame and although capable of messing you up, she won’t actually, physically hurt you.  She may make a vague threat on what she will do to you if you hurt me and she’ll make you feel like you disappointed her, which… which is worse honestly.  But, after everything she will give an amazing hug to make you feel better and offer you food and something to drink casually mentioning that you are part of the family after all.  

“Tom looks like he could crush you with one arm but is actually less threatening than Batcow.  He’ll follow Sabine’s judgement, but he is likely to scowl at you until he decides for himself.  He will continue to be suspicious of you even after my Maman welcomes you to the family. If you talk about how you just want to make sure I’m happy and feel loved, it will ease his suspicions.  If you add in that you really want to start a family with me someday but you want to make sure I’m in a place where I feel like I’m ready and you’re letting me take the lead on the decision, he will start calling you ‘son’.  After he accepts you into the family, he will cry.  Brace for it now.”

Jason took his eyes from the road to look at her quizzically before shaking his head with a chuckle.  “You’re not allowed to hang out with Tim anymore.”

Marinette rolled her eyes, “yeah, I’ll be sure to tell him that when we’re hanging out next week.  It might delay it by a whole hour… because he’ll be laughing so hard.”

Jason shook his head and looked at her in fake severity, “I’m serious.  It’s too dangerous to allow you two to hang out together.  Your combined forces could take over the world.”

She smiled back at him, preening at his faith in her abilities.  “Yeah, but a nice takeover, a benevolent tyranny, if you will.”  Jason barked out a laugh and grinned at her.

“I can see it now.  By royal proclamation, everyone must have a hamster, nobody is allowed to wear checks and stripes at the same time, peanut butter and jelly is strictly forbidden, and nobody wakes up before noon.”

She hummed in response, “Now that is a monarchy I can get behind.  But my plans for world domination are going to have to wait. We’re here,” she said pointing to the corner store just ahead of them.

Marinette used her key to open the exterior door and led Jason up the back stairs to her parent’s apartment.  

“Okay, how do I look?” she asked nervously, her anxiety ramped up again now that they were outside her parents’ door.

“Like you’re trying to make it hard for me to focus on anything other than getting you back to the hotel,” he answered with a sultry look.

“Good, it wasn’t too subtle,” she gave him a wicked look.  “Remember, you aren’t allowed to grab me while we’re in there.”

He growled at her and grabbed her tightly, “We’re not in there yet.”  He gave her a deep kiss, pulling her flush against him.

She pulled away breathlessly and nodded at him with a resolute look on her face, “Okay, let’s do this.”  She turned to knock on the door.

The door had barely opened before a huge man had reached out on the landing and grabbed Marinette in a bear hug.  The man was so large, Jason couldn’t even see Marinette anymore. “Sweetheart!  It is so great to see you.  Oh!  Who is this dear?”

“Papa, remember I said I was bringing someone for you to meet?  This is Jason.  Jason, these are my parents, Tom Dupain and Sabine Cheng,” she said indicating her father who was still holding her close and her mother who Jason couldn’t see behind Tom.

“Welcome to our home, Jason,” Tom said with a wide, welcoming smile.

“You might need to move so they can get in dear,” Sabine commented with a kind smile.

“Of course, of course.  Sorry. Please come in,” he moved to the side and made a sweeping motion welcoming them into the apartment.”

“Thank you, sir.  It is very nice to meet both of you.  Marinette speaks of you often.” Jason shook Tom’s had with a big smile.  As he went to shake Sabine’s hand he noticed her flick her eyes up to his eyes from wherever she had been looking, a glare settling in her eyes.

“Yes, welcome, Jason.  Funny, Marinette hasn’t mentioned you at all.” She said coolly.

Jason chuckled awkwardly, “Huh… how about that… uh…” He floundered for what to say next, but Sabine’s glare never wavered.   Her eyes bore into him like they could see every secret he had, even the ones he tried to hide from himself.  Every self-doubt, every insecurity, every failing that haunted him was exposed.  Everything Marinette had been helping him to recover from was suddenly laid out for Sabine to examine and judge.  Jason stood paralyzed under her stare until Marinette grabbed him what seemed like hours later and pulled him away from her mother.  

“Come on, Jason.  I’m dying to show you the view from my balcony.  I’ve missed it so much since I’ve been away.  You don’t mind, right Maman?” Marinette was pulling him up a set of stairs before her mother could give her “Of course not dear,” response.

Jason didn’t even take in what her childhood bedroom looked like before whipping around as soon as the door closed, “Okay you were right.  Take off the ring, we’ll do it later.” He prompted her hurriedly motioning toward her hand.  

“Oh, it’s already too late.  She’s seen the ring.  We’re committed to it now,” Marinette said direly.

“What? Why would you wear the ring?” he asked exasperated.

She gave him a deadpan look, waiting for him to come to his own conclusion.  

“Why would you listen to me?  You know better.  And that glare!  I feel like I’ve never done anything right in my entire life.  How long was she glaring at me?”

“I think it was about 5 seconds before I could get to you,” she smiled sympathetically and cupped her hands around his face to stroke his cheeks.  “She does that.  It’ll be okay.  I mean, I’m not going to lie it’s going to be really terrible for a little bit but then it’ll be like Miraculous Ladybug sweeping all the pain away.  Also, it wasn’t my ring she saw.” She gave him a chaste kiss on the lips.  “I love you, Jason Todd.  They will too.  They are scared for me right now because they don’t know you.  But when they get to know you, they are going to be your biggest supporters, a second, and actually functioning, family for you.”

He let out a stressed sigh and pressed his forehead to hers.  “I just don’t want to screw this up.  And your mom is intimidating as hell.”

“You can’t screw this up.  It isn’t possible.  And yes, I know.”  They heard Marinette’s mom calling to them that lunch was ready.  “Relax.  You’ve taken down crime lords, you can handle my parents.

“Something tells me I’m not allowed to just shoot them though.”  He muttered under his breath.  Marinette gave him an unamused look as she made her way toward the door.  “What?  I said ‘not allowed’.”

“Lunch smells amazing Maman and Papa.  I’ve missed your cooking so much!  I’m going to have to rub this in Adrien’s face tonight.  He says hi, by the way.  He was planning on stopping over tomorrow if that is okay.”

“That’s nice, dear.  He knows he’s always welcome.  All of your friends are,” she said pointedly, looking sharply over to Jason.

“Thank you so much for letting me tag along with Marinette.  I am really glad to finally meet you after everything I’ve heard about you from her.” Jason tried to lighten the heavy mood with pleasantries, but Marinette’s mom was not following the lighter tone.  She seemed to have perfected the art of a biting remark with a smile.  She would do wonderfully at one of their Galas.

“Of course, sweetie.  So, how did you two meet?”

“We meet at a coffee shop.  We started talking and… here we are,” he faltered.  They hadn’t actually discussed how they were going to tell her parents and he figured she would want to be the one to say it.

“Well, we are really glad to meet you.  You must be really important to Marinette if she brought you home.” Tom offered only scowling slightly.

“He is Papa.  He is really important to me,” she paused to take a deep breath and look to Jason who gave her an encouraging nod before reaching for her hand to entwine their fingers. “He is so important to me that we decided to get married a few weeks ago.  We’re married.  He’s my husband,” she said quietly holding up her left hand to show her ring.  

Tom sucked in a breath but Sabine’s eyes went steely.  “I see,” she said in a deceptively calm voice.

“Sweetheart, are you… are you sure that was the wisest decision?” Tom hedged tentatively.

“I am, Papa.  We know it was sudden and impulsive, but we know what we’re doing.  It might not look like it, but we do.  We love each other, but we know that isn’t enough,” she looked over to look into Jason’s loving eyes.  “We know we are going to have to work at it and we are ready to do that.”

Marinette’s father opened his mouth but before he could say anything Jason continued where Marinette left off, “We know it is going to be hard at times and we’re not fully prepared for whatever is coming, but we are ready to fight for it, together.  We want a future together.  We want a family together, at some point, when Marinette is ready, little kids with Marinette’s eyes and creativity and my hair and determination, or my eyes and her smile,” his eyes softened as he spoke about their future children. Marinette grinned at the future children he pictured.  They had never spoken about kids and it was warming her hear to hear his vision.  

“I know you’re worried about me and this was a huge surprise to spring on you out of nowhere and for that I am truly sorry, but… but you need to trust me that this is what is best for me.” Marinette added timidly.

Her parents looked at one another in silent conversation for a while before turning back to Marinette and Jason.  Sabine reached across the table for Marinette’s hand, “Okay dear.  If this makes you happy, then we are happy for you.”  She was smiling at the two of them but the smile was cautious, uncertain.

“Welcome to the family, son,” Marinette’s papa said standing with a strained smile to give Jason another bone crushing hug.  “We’re so glad to see our little girl happy again and if you were the one to do it, then we are beyond happy to have you in our lives.”

The lunch continued as Marinette’s parents asked questions about Jason and his history.  After lunch they kept talking about Gotham and Marinette’s career and Jason’s family. A few hours later, Marinette and Jason were finally able to take a few moments for themselves to recover from the stress of the earlier reveal.  They were enjoying the view from her balcony, Marinette was reveling in the feeling of Jason’s arms wrapped comfortingly around her and the steady rise and fall of his chest against her back as he breathed.  “I don’t think I’d mind just staying here like this for the rest of the night,” she said quietly as she melted into his embrace.

Jason leaned down to kiss her temple.  “It’s just your friends though, right?  That one should be easier, shouldn’t it?  Less stressful?  Then we can go back to the hotel and just lay down wrapped up in each other’s arms for a while.”

Marinette winced slightly, “God that sounds amazing.  Yeah, tonight should be less stressful but… you brought your Kevlar vest right?  You might need it, Kim is going to be there.”

Jason chuckled lightly, “Sounds like my kind of people.  I should fit right in.”

Marinette hummed at him “I think you…” before she could finish her sentence Sabine made her presence known.  “Marinette, sweetie, your father wanted you to pick what you wanted to take over to Luka’s house.”

“Okay, Maman.” She looked over to Jason with a raised brow asking him if he was okay or if he wanted her to get him out as Sabine made her way onto the balcony.  Jason smiled at her and nodded toward the door, reassuring her he would be fine.  His wife’s mother wanted to have a talk with him and she deserved to have her say.

“I’ll be right back,” she said, looking at Jason to reassure him that she wouldn’t be gone long and giving him a kiss on the cheek.

Once she left, Jason looked to Sabine waiting for her to start the conversation.  When she continued to silently watch the sun makes its way toward setting Jason started getting uncomfortable.  Finally after a few minutes, Jason decided to break the awkward silence.  “You have a beautiful view, Mrs. Cheng.  A beautiful home as well.”

“Sabine, please.  You’re a part of our family now after all,” she said kindly but with an edge to her voice.

“Sabine, thank you.  And thank you for being so calm about this… about us.  Marinette has been panicking about telling you since we got married.  She is really terrified about disappointing you.  I know this must have been a shock and hard to accept for you.”

“It is.  You have to understand, it’s nothing personal, but she will always be our baby and we just want what’s best for her.  This is an unknown, you are an unknown so we aren’t sure how to react yet.”

“I do understand.  I don’t take it personally.  And I fully understand wanting to protect Marinette.  I’m not going to try to force you to like me. I’m just happy Marinette is happy and doesn’t feel like she disappointed you.”

Sabine watched him for a few moments.  “I can see the way you two look at each other and I can see how much you two love each other.  But I can see something else.”  He raised his brow at her.  “I can see the way you need each other.  I want to make sure you aren’t just using each other.”

Jason sucked in a breath and glanced away. That was not the observation he had been expecting.  He didn’t think either of them was that obvious about how they interacted.  He looked back to her, impressed with her insight. “You’re very observant.  We are using each other… but that isn’t necessarily a bad thing.  We both offer something the other needs.  But neither of us is willing to take more than the other can give,” he reassured her. “And we really do love each other. We want the other to be better, to be happy.  We rely on each other and we need each other but, isn’t that the way marriage is supposed to be?  I mean, I don’t have very many models of a good marriage… or any, honestly, but that’s the way Marinette describes it.  And that is what I want, a happy, healthy marriage.  But more than that, I want her to be happy.  I’m not going to do anything that will cause her more pain.”

Sabine’s eyes softened as she gazed at him.  “I think she was right… about marriage and about you,” she reached up to pat him on his cheek.  “I’m glad you found somebody who helps make you feel complete. I’m glad you both did.  Do you mind if I give you a hug?”

Jason shook his head, too dazed to use words. “Here, let me just…”  He knelt down so he was closer to her height, “There. That’s better.”

“Ah, I see it now.” She smiled as she hugged him with a gentle but firm hug, making him feel like he was welcome and accepted.

“What’s that?” he pulled back curiously.

“Why my daughter fell in love with you.  She always did appreciate a smartass.”  Jason barked out another laugh and hugged her again.

Marinette popped her head through the trapdoor. “Well that seemed to have gone well.”

“It did, sweetie.  Now, you guys better hurry or you’re going to be late for your party. But I want you guys here for brunch tomorrow with the wedding pictures.” Sabine said with a smile, leaving the two to prepare for their next confrontation.  “Oh, and dear?” she called back before disappearing through the trap door.

“Yes, Maman?”

“This family you guys want to start, I’m won’t be finding out about it after the child is born, right?” she asked with a calculating smile.

“No, Maman.”

“Jason?” she prompted him.

“No, Ma’am… uh, Sabine.”

“Good.  Just making sure dear.  Now, have fun tonight kids.” She said with saccharine sweetness.

<><><><><> 

The party seemed to already be in full swing as Jason and Marinette approached Luka’s new houseboat.  They could hear the music and laughter from a block away.  “Just a quiet, little, friendly get together, huh?” he asked with a raised brow.

“Yep. Just like your quiet, little, friendly family dinners.  It should be a familiar environment.  You okay with it?”

“No, I mean, no, it isn’t a problem.  I’m definitely not complaining.  I like this better.  More witnesses if someone does something.”

“That’s cute.  You think we don’t cover for each other,” she gave him a wicked smile, dragging her finger along his jaw before walking ahead of him, swinging her hips for him.

“Oh, you’re in for it,” he laughed, running up behind her, picking her up, and throwing her over his shoulder without slowing down.

“Hey,” she squawked at him, laughing uncontrollably.  “Let me down, you big goof.”

“Huh. Did you hear something?” he said confused spinning around and getting smacked by the bag of pastries she was carrying.  “I could have sworn I heard something.  Nope nothing there.”

“Jason!” Marinette called slapping his firm ass.

“Oh! There.  I heard it again,” he grinned suddenly switching the direction he was spinning getting smacked by the bag on the other side.

“You are such an asshole.  You’re going to ruin the pastries,” she laughed even harder.

“Ah, it must be my loving wife,” he said setting her down in front of him with a loving smile.  “I would recognize that description of me anywhere.”

She huffed in mock annoyance at him, “Why do I put up with you?”

“Hmmm,” he hummed moving his face closer to hers and letting his hands roam up and down her sides, pleased with the contented sighs she let out.  “My charm, my amazing personality, my devilishly good looks, I believe.  Plus, I’m the only one who could survive the coming onslaught that is your friends.”

She smiled comfortingly at him, “Don’t worry, my friends are going to love you. I mean, don’t get me wrong, they’re going to threaten you, but after that, they’re going to love you.”

He rolled his eyes, “Why is it everyone you know is coming up and threatening me if I ever hurt you but everyone I know is… also coming up and threatening me if I ever hurt you?”

“Because they think I can’t defend myself,” she shrugged.

“Have you ever thought about telling them who you are?  So they know you can defend yourself?  I mean, not everyone but a few people you trust.”

“No, I don’t think it’s that.” She looked down to consider how to word her thoughts.  “It’s… it’s how we deal with things.  You lash out. I take it out on myself. Everything I do only affects myself. I withdraw from people and things, I lose my appetite, I get more tired, I lose my passion for things.  Those things don’t affect anyone else, at least not directly.  But you lash out.  You yell, you hit, you get drunk and say cruel things, you try to hurt them as much as you’re hurting.  It… the way we deal with things, makes me look weak and you look dangerous.”

He looked at her with sad eyes.  She was right and he felt comforted knowing she knew him so well, but it also upset him that she was right.  That is how he responds to negative things but he never wanted her to experience it firsthand.  “I don’t ever want to do that to you.  I won’t ever hurt you,” he promised sincerely.

“You will.  And I’ll hurt you.  We won’t mean to, but we will.  But we’re going to talk about it, right?  Instead of brooding or detaching?  We promised... and we’re fucking adults and that’s what adults do.” He chuckled but nodded, hugging her closely as if protecting her from their future fights. He pulled away just far enough to press his forehead to hers.  “I love you, wife.”

“I love you, husband,” she looked up at him adoringly, wrapping her hands around the back of his neck.

“WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST HEAR?” they heard screamed from behind Jason.

Marinette and Jason froze, “Shit,” Marinette whispered out, peeking around Jason to see Alix standing close enough to have heard at least the last part of their conversation.

“You got married?” she exclaimed only slightly less loud this time.  

“Uh, yeah.  This is Jason… my husband.” Marinette awkwardly indicated Jason.

“When did you get married?” Alix asked hugging Marinette and eyeing Jason suspiciously.

“A few weeks ago.”

“Does Alya know?”  Marinette’s pained expression was enough of an answer for Alix.  “Shit.  Well it was nice I got to see you again before your funeral.  Good luck.  Hand over the pastries.  I don’t want them destroyed in the mauling.  I get to be there when you tell her, right?”

“I’m telling her as soon as I get there,” Marinette nodded as she handed over the bag she was holding.

“Sweet.  I’m sticking by you.  This party is going to be more interesting than I thought it was going to be.  Does Sunshine know?”

“Yeah. He was there… Don’t tell Alya that part,” Marinette added quickly.

“Oh God no.  Two murders is enough for tonight.  Well, let’s get to it.  I’d like to dig into these pastries and get some drinking done tonight.”

“Thank you, Alix.  It’s good to see you.  What have you been up to?”  They chatted amicably as they walked toward the boat.  Marinette’s hand held tightly to Jason’s as she walked.  She looked over her shoulder, giving him a tight lipped smile, betraying her nerves.  A few friends called to her from the boat as she got close.  She waved and called back to them with a genuine smile.  As soon as she stepped foot on the deck there was a rush of people each trying to give her hugs and find out about her life in Gotham.

“Back off everyone.  She needs to breathe,” Alix yelled at the crowd, causing them to back up a bit.

“Thanks,” Marinette whispered to her, smiling consolingly at her friends.

“And she needs to make an announcement,” Alix decreed with an evil smile.

“Bitch!” Marinette hissed at her.

“You reap what you sow.  Shouldn’t have snuck off.” Alix smirked at her.

“I was supposed to tell Alya first,” she hissed through her teeth.

“Ohhh, yeah.  Good point. My bad.  Oh well, too late now,” Alix shrugged and stepped back so Marinette could take center stage.

Jason stepped up behind her and wrapped his hand around her waist to let her know he was there for her.  She took a deep breath and gave a fake smile to her friends.  “Everyone, I’d like to introduce you to Jason Todd… my husband.”

Everyone stared at them slack jawed for a few moments.  The boat was so quiet they could hear the water slapping against the bow.  Finally the quiet was broken by Adrien squeezing through and hugging Marinette and shaking Jason’s hand, “Good to see you guys!  How are your parents?  Jason, I’m so glad you made it.  Max over there was just saying Shakespeare was overrated.  We need your expertise, man.  Well, no what I actually need is someone who knows what the fuck their talking about to destroy him.”

Marinette smiled gratefully at Adrien who just winked in response.  “Go savage, man.  Let the heathen have it,” Adrien encouraged, slinging his arm over Jason’s shoulders and gesturing to a man in glasses in front of them.  Jason looked back to Marinette for confirmation.  She nodded to him with a wry smile and leaned over to Alya who had finally made her way over to Marinette, “Watch this.”  She grinned proudly as Jason proceeded to give a solid 5 minute literary critique of Shakespeare’s works, the prevalence of the themes he wrote about, and the effect he had not only on his time but on future writers.

“He’s passionate about Shakespeare.” Alya observed.

“Yeah. Our place is filled with classic literature.  You should see him talk about Jane Austin,” Marinette looked down to her hands for a moment before softly saying, “I’m sorry, Alya.  I wanted to tell you first, in person.  It was very sudden.”

Alya nodded.  “Does he make you happy?”

“Yes, very,” she nodded vigorously.  “He makes me feel… again.” She looked over at Alya uncertainly.

Alya nodded again and looked away as Jason returned with a grin.  “How did that feel?” Marinette asked with a knowing smile.

“That was awesome.  I never get to geek out like that.” He said hugging her.  “You must be Alya,” he held out his hand.  “Marinette talks about you constantly.  I feel like I know so much about you already.”

“So how did you meet?  When did you know you needed to get married?” Alya nodded her head in acknowledgement as Kagami joined them.

“We met when she kicked someone’s ass and I knew I needed to marry her when she handed Batman’s ass to him in a verbal smack down for the ages after he interrupted our date.” He grinned proudly down at Marinette.

“Marinette!” Kagami chastised her as Alya smacked her in the chest.

“It was the second time our date had been interrupted!  I was pissed.  And he tried to pull that glare on me like I did something wrong.”  Marinette defended herself.

“Ooh, that was a mistake.” Alya shook her head with a laugh.

“I know, right?”

“Marinette, can I speak with you a bit more privately?  I have some concerns I’d like to address with you.” Kagami spoke sharply looking only at Marinette.

Marinette looked between Jason and Alya and for the second time they had a silent conversation about if he was okay with being left alone.  He nodded to her and motioned for her to follow her friend.

As soon as they were out of earshot Alya started her shovel talk, staring directly in his eyes.  “You understand that you are an exceptionally lucky man and you will never meet anyone as amazing as her again, right?”

“I do.” He nodded sincerely.

“And if you ever hurt her, there will be no place to hide.”

“I understand.”

Alya nodded at him but her eyes didn’t soften.  “Okay.  My girl has been miserable for a really long time.  None of us know what caused it except Adrien, but we have our suspicions. She hasn’t allowed herself to feel anything, good or bad in years.  But she finally looks happy.  With you in her life, she finally seems back to her old self so…”

“So?”

Alya squinted at him and pursed her lips, “So, I will allow it.  I will allow you to stay married to her.  But if that changes, if she becomes suddenly unhappy, they will never find the body, understood?”

“Understood,” he nodded at her.  “And just so you know, I think there’s a line now.  I think you’re after Sabine, Adrien, and Fang, not to mention several members of my family.”

“Oh no, we work together.  I do the tool supplying, Kagami does the killing, Sabine does the cutting up, Adrien does the feeding, Fang does the eating, Kim does the alibiing, and Max does the cover up.  If your family wants to get involved, we can assign jobs.”

Jason looked at her curiously, “Should I be concerned that you seem to have thought this through?”

“Not if you treat her right.” Alya gave him a pointed look.

“Which one is Kagami?  I don’t think I’ve seen her yet.” He scanned the crowd.

“That’s her skill.  You won’t see her coming,” she sent him a devilish smile before pointing to a woman leaning against the balcony railing having a serious conversation with Marinette, “Kagami was the one that was over here earlier, the one that currently is interrogating Marinette.  You’re lucky I’m the one doing this and not her.  She still might actually, but she should know I’ve already done it.  I’m higher in the hierarchy.”

“There’s a hierarchy?” he looked at her with a raised brow.

“You think you’re the first one to get this talk?  We protect our friends and we all know who gets to give the talk to who’s significant other and who is second up in case that person is unavailable.  In most of these scenarios, Marinette is the one doing the digging.  We don’t usually have the option of Fang.  You didn’t wet your pants so you’re doing better than most of the significant others.”

“Thanks.  Have you ever had to enact it?”

“Not that anyone has been able to prove.” She shot him a finger gun and a wink.

“Hey, new guy!  You look like you’re in shape.  You’re getting in on this, come on.” A large man with frosted tips tugged him to one of the ship’s two masts.  Jason looked back at Alya who just gave him a thumbs up.  “It’s a race to the top.  Whoever sits on their mast first gets a prize.” The man announced excitedly.

“What’s the prize?”

“If you win, we let you stay married to my little sister.”

“I’m not your sister,” Marinette yelled from her spot at the railing.

“She says such hurtful things,” Kim mock whispered to Jason, his hand held sadly against his chest.  “If I win, you buy the alcohol at the next party.”  Jason nodded at him and looked over to Marinette with a wink.

“Winning this one for you, Pixie.” He gave her a dashing grin and a wink.

“Show ‘em what you got, Red.  Mulan that bitch.”  Marinette yelled back.

Marinette looked over as Adrien threw his arm around her shoulder, eyeing him suspiciously, “Hey, awfully convenient you guys were talking about Shakespeare when we got here.”

“Awfully wasn’t it.  Couldn’t get Max talking about anything else.” Adrien shrugged with a false nonchalance.

“Right, classic lit.  Max’s favorite subject,” she rolled her eyes.  “Thank you.”

He gave her a tight side hug.  “Don’t know what you’re talking about, Bug.”  He shifted his focus to the center of the boat as Jason and Kim’s race started. He soon doubled over laughing as Kim slipped and fell from about half way up the mast all the way back to the deck, landing on his ass with a thump, followed almost immediately by Jason losing his footing and smacking his face against the mast but managing to keep his lead.  “You married that.  That’s yours now.  You own that.”

“Yeah, but have you seen him without his shirt on?” he shook his head.  She looked back with adoring eyes and a wicked smile at her amazing husband, engaging in dumbass challenges with her friends, “Worth it.”

Covert Pregnancy

#maribat #jasonette #Covert Jasonette

[amethystpath-writes]

Hola, mademoiselle! Would you mind continuing "Drugged hero" PLEASE?! Danké !

I love that there’s four languages in just three sentences. Amazing.

I need to change the title to Drugged Angel. Oopses. As a pre-cursor...Hunter and Marcy are now going to be considered OCs. This, and the previous one explore the basics of the characters, but I can also do random tropes with them as requested since the basis is Marcy being- cough, cough- tortured. Having said that, heed the tags.

@whatwhumpcomments @daydreamed-snippets-2nd-blog

******

A weight on Marcy’s back woke her. It was an odd sensation, one she hadn’t felt in months, but immediately recognized. It was the weight of her wings. She couldn’t brave opening her eyes and turning her head back.

Tears pricked her eyes, spilling out of the corners and running warm down her cheeks, chin, neck, and into her shirt, which was tight against her throat. If Marcy reached back to feel her wings, she’d feel the fabric of her shirt being pulled back with them. She was thankful, at least, that she wasn’t choking. But maybe she shouldn’t feel thankful for that. Maybe dying was better than…

The realization that Marcy was in Hell struck her like a wave of fire. A cry raised in her throat, but she kept her eyes screwed shut. Opening them meant facing reality. Opening them meant being fully aware of her situation. It meant taking in the bars Hunter always kept her in, and taking in the wings- once white, now a dark grey and leathery with few feathers- on her back, the ones that made her feel so impossibly heavy.

Eventually she would have to open her eyes, but for now Marcy had to tell herself she was dreaming. In her reality, she was laying in a human bed- not an odd nest in a cage- and she had the television on because otherwise her ears rang loudly from the noises of her past. There was a nightlight in her room that would be active despite the tv being one because it was behind her bed, cloaked in shadow if not for its own light. Marcy tried to imagine herself being that little light- one so small, but so capable of staying lit. Darkness used to be a comfort to her because it meant she could admire the glow of her own skin. In the light, there was nothing special; everything looked the same. But in the dark, Marcy’s skin glowed an orange-yellow, and she felt glorious- holy.

Darkness didn’t have the comfort now that it did then. Now it was just a place where Marcy could be found- could be touched- by any beings of the night, since that’s where they manifested. Of course, it was always night at Hunter’s home, and he didn’t mind visitors, especially since it was only ever to see his pet- to see Marcy. Not many demons had succeeded in turning angels into fallen by simply presenting them a choice.

An image of a writhing human flashed across Marcy’s mind.

There was only one. If there had been two or three, she might have been able to redeem herself, but Hunter only gave her one dying human. It didn’t work out quite as Hunter planned. Marcy was supposed to finish the job, and then she’d earn her freedom. Instead, she comforted the human while it died. Marcy should have known it was a trick, then and there, when Hunter still let her go. But as he said, “You could have healed them. You did not. Leave.”

Marcy hadn’t thought twice about leaving when granted her opportunity. She spread her white wings, she glowed, and she was gone.

But then she was falling from the sky, wings useless as her body darted towards the ground. Marcy saw her white wings shrouded with grey tendrils. Even as she fell, she could feel those shadows pushing and pulling her wings, stretching them, and tugging the feathers away before settling. Her wings were grey, and they weren’t like those of a bird anymore. They weren’t like anything known to creation. Marcy’s wings now belonged only to the Fallen. She wasn’t granted access into her holy lands. She was banned.

Becoming one of the Fallen was easier than she anticipated. Marcy didn’t glow quite as much as when she was an angel. And the small amount that she did was a different colour- blue. It allowed her to blend in with the humans. When a human questioned her glow, she said it was ‘glow-in-the-dark paint’ because apparently that was a thing. Either way, Hunter wouldn’t find her. But he did. Marcy didn’t know that the blue glow attracted demons whereas the orange-yellow repelled them. After just a few months, Hunter slipped something into Marcy’s water, and now she was kneeled in a cage with her eyes screwed shut, and her fallen wings permanently sprouted behind her.

Ting. Ting. Ting.

Marcy jumped at every sound, taking ragged breaths. It’s a flagpole. I’m in bed and- and someone put a flag up. It’s just metal hitting metal. Not a tail on a cage.

A hand brushed her wings and she felt what few feathers there were still attached to the top bristling. A breeze. The A.C. must have kicked on.

A fist clenched around her two wings, tightening, tightening- she pulled them away, both of them, as she found they were pinned together by something. Her eyes opened, but she casted her gaze to her knees while she sat knelt in the twig and mud nest. She hated this nest.

“There she is, my pretty bird.” Hunter’s hand found her wings again and this time she knew not to pull away.

Marcy opened her mouth to speak but closed it again. It was pointless to say she wasn’t an angel. To a demon, she’d always be considered one. Even if she became a demon herself, they’d always value her as being a pet from the holy lands. The demons loved to acknowledge they made something so pure fall from grace.

“You shy away from me again. You didn’t miss my little touches?”

She remained still but took notice of the light illuminating her cage. Hunter only ever used a light when he wanted Marcy for himself. When the light was off, the other demons swarmed in. Marcy swallowed. “You said you would let me go, Hunteriaysa.”

“Using my full name? You’re hopeful, today, aren’t you?”

“I-” Marcy shook her head, finally looking up and over her shoulder. She could barely see the shadowy figure which was Hunter beyond her wings. But she did see the claws, could see how they barely missed touching the flesh of her wings. “You said you would let me go,” Marcy repeated.

Hunter laughed, and his claws finally skimmed Marcy’s left wing. She whined, but otherwise did nothing as he began to speak. “And I did. You didn’t think it was permanent, did you? Certainly, after you created your own option when given mine, you knew I’d come after you again. There are no loopholes in my deals, and every time you try to find one, you’ll be punished for it. This was your warning.”

This time, Marcy did rip away from the demon’s grasp, and in the process his claws left red gashes. Hopefully, it would scar, Marcy thought. Hopefully, she could make herself less beautiful to the demon, to Hunteriaysa. “I have fallen because of what I did under your demand, and that wasn’t punishment enough for you? I can’t go home, Hunteriaysa.”

“One, it wasn’t a demand. You chose freedom over a human’s life. According to the committee of the holy lands, you deserved your fall.” Ting, ting, ting. Hunter’s tail clanked against the cage as he rounded to the front, where Marcy began looking. She looked down when he came in front of her, looked down at his clawed feet- like a gargoyle’s. “Two, if you call me by my full name again, I will rip those precious feathers out from the tops of your wings. Once a week. I know they grow back.”

She couldn’t let him do that. It wouldn’t make her fall anymore- she’d already done that- and it wouldn’t turn her into a demon, but the feathers that remained were to serve as a reminder to former angels of their fall. Though one of the Fallen couldn’t technically fall again, they’d feel the pain of landing each time a feather was ripped out. Demons were happy to pull them, all angels and fallen knew.

If Marcy could have tucked her wings, she would have done so now. Better yet, if she could hide them, she would. “Don’t you remember being holy, Hun-Hunter?”

“We all do, but you know what I remember more than that?” Hunter reached into the pockets of his white trousers- which contrasted greatly against his midnight skin- and pulled out a key.

Marcy hated that key. She stood on wobbly legs that barely had feeling and backed up against the opposite end of her cage. She suddenly felt very hot, but her skin was riddled with goosebumps. Her breaths were deep, but they didn’t feel like they were reaching her lungs. The panic Hunter sent her in was uncontrollable, especially as he threatened to pluck her feathers, though in truth, she would have been panicked before the threat. He was a demon, and he acted like one for as long as he had captured her.

“Don’t,” Marcy whispered as Hunter opened the door. He kept it wide open as he stepped in; he always did this to give his bird a false hope of escape. She utilized the opportunity twice, both times ending in her own bloody skinned- and screaming humans to top it off. “Hunter, please. I’m sorry.” He hadn’t said what it was he thought of, but Marcy knew. Hunter dangled it over her head like fresh meat over a weak lion- tauntingly.

He stepped closer and Marcy’s hands found themselves wrapped around the bars behind her, clenched. Her wings passed through, out of reach from the demon stepping towards her.

“I let you fall,” she said. “I’m sorry. If I could have brought you back, I would, but you know I would have only been casted away with you. But I came to you, Hunteriaysa. I came to you to help, and I wasn’t allowed, but I did because I loved you and I was willing to put my grace at risk for you. You brought me here against my wishes.”

Hunter was a step away- too close, much too close. “You said my name.”

Her eyes widened and she shook her head wildly. “I didn’t mean to. I didn’t mean to, Hunter. Hunter. Understand me, please. I loved you, and I came for you. Why do you do this to me?”

“Because…” Hunter brought a hand to his bird’s face, stroking a thumb across her cheekbone gently. She almost nestled into his touch. “You betrayed me. I killed that human to save you from what I am now. You told the council. You damned me.”

She whimpered; eyes closed. “I didn’t want to, Hun- I’m sorry. I’m not meaning to use that name. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.” His hand was warm on her cheek and it reminded her of when Hunteriaysa was an angel. He was so sweet, then, so loving and kind, and he loved Marcy more than anything. He protected her against a demon ready to capture her. Hunteriaysa killed a human to protect Marcy…and she turned him in for it out of fear for it being found out and that she might be in trouble for keeping it secret. “I’m sorry. I loved you, though. You have to know that, Hunter.”

His finger turned sharp against her cheek and she gasped, pushing her head back and to the side, her other cheek pressed hard against the bars as she tried to get away. “And what about now, Marsielia? I found you looking for me, and when I brought you back, you tried running away. Tell me, is that how you love?”

Marcy understood now why hearing an angel’s full name was so distasteful to demons- apparently it was to the Fallen, too, as she felt it herself. Her brain was struck like a gong. Her name was as forbidden as she was in the holy lands now. She swallowed, and Hunter dug a claw into her cheek.

“Forgive me,” Marcy whispered. She peered at her old lover with only her eyes, no turning of the head, or else Hunter’s claw might strike bone. “I had been scared. I was selfish, and I should have fallen with you then.”

“Is that truly what you believe?”

Despite the claw, she nodded, not believing she could admit it vocally.

“Then join me. Allow yourself that final plunge into darkness and be one with me.”

Her breath shuddered. “Become a- a demon?”

“Yes.” Hunter’s voice was a smooth hiss. “You’ve already fallen, and you can’t return to the holy lands. Submit to the darkness, Marsielia, and become it. I will forgive you then.”

Her body jolted as he used her name again, his claw pushing in further. “You’ll continue to hurt me if I don’t,” Marcy said. “You don’t love me anymore; you just want your revenge. You have changed entirely.” She nearly dared to speak his own name but remembered his threat.

“Of course, I changed, dear. I was betrayed.” His claws retracted, his fingers brushing over the hole he made in Marcy’s cheek. “I was betrayed by the bird I loved most. Do you understand that your betrayal hurt worse than my fall? I didn’t even flinch when my kind found me, ripped my feathers out over, and over, and over again. It didn’t hurt like what you did to me. I loved you, Marsielia. I fell for you so you wouldn’t be taken and tortured by my kind, and you turned me in.”

He brought a finger to her chin, hooked it, and forced her to look at him. “So, what will it be, Marcy? Will you be with me or should I turn the light out?”

Marcy shook her head. “Don’t. Please don’t. Hunter, you know what they’ll do- what they do every time.”

“Rip out your feathers? Tear your wings? Scratch and prod at you with searing talons? Take your precious lips with their own? It isn’t so bad, is it? It can’t be worse than becoming one of them, right? Like becoming me?”

“You can’t do this. Hunter, please.”

Hunteriaysa took steps back and back until he was grasping the door, watching as Marcy’s face fell deeper into despair and fear. “One day, you’ll submit, and you’ll love me again. And then? You can never betray me again because you have already fallen, and you will have nothing else to lose.” He shut the cage door, locking it with the key before placing it back in his pocket once again. His tail dragged along the floor, and he said, “Until then…I heard some of my kind have begun using their tails as whips. If my visitors tonight don’t, maybe I’ll try it out myself. Or maybe I will do it either way. Goodnight, my love. May your screams derive from Hell- which they will.”

The light turned out, and not a moment later, Marsielia’s skin glowed blue, and she saw the shadows dance with the light. “Hunter!” But Hunter wasn’t there, and the demons were excited to see such pretty white feathers, no matter how few.

#new OCs #wing whump #domestic violence #ish #captive #captivity #noncon touching #(non sexual) #noncon kiss #(just mentioned) #drugged mention #drugged whumpee #caged whumpee #angel #demon #angel x demon #angel whumpee #demon whumper #fallen angel #marcy x hunter #creepy whumper #intimate whumper

[angstysebfan]

Did I Take A Step Too Far Part 9

Pairing: Bucky x reader

Summary: You and Bucky were best friends, but one night you took your relationship to the next level. You you want to continue moving forward, but Bucky acts like he regrets it, and even tries to move on.

Warnings:

“Ashley, I am sorry. I haven’t been fair to you, and I should have stopped this so long ago.” Bucky said softly. Ashley was sitting on a chair on the roof, looking down at her hands. She shook her head. “Bucky, I knew you loved her. I hoped it would work out for us, but I shouldn’t have kept this up. I knew.” She said looking at him.

Bucky felt so much guilt for how everything had gone down. He knows everything was his fault. “I wasn’t honest with you. You asked me if I could love you, and I said yes. I.. the fault is mine.” he insisted. She smiled warmly at him and stood up. Walking over, she took his hands, “Just promise me you wont screw this up. She loves you, and I know she has Jeremy now, but that was just to get over you. Talk to her. Tell her the truth, and both of you need to stop being stupid.”

Bucky laughed and hugged her. “You deserve the world on a silver platter,” he whispered in her hair. He lead her to the elevator and brought her down to the main floor. She had called an Uber, which was waiting for her. “Take your time with getting your stuff, make this right first.” She said giving him a kiss on the cheek. She got into the car and left without looking back.

Bucky watched the car leave the Tower, before he turned back toward the doors to head back into the party. When he walked in, he immediately found you slow dancing with Jeremy. His stomach was in knots, hoping you hadn’t completely given up on him. Your eyes met his and you saw the guilt and sadness in them.

Jeremy held you tightly as you danced, almost like he knew he was about to lose you. “You okay?” he asked. You didn’t know how to respond, because you weren’t sure if you were okay. Bucky wanted back in your life, which is what you wanted more than anything, but at the same time, Jeremy has been amazing and made you feel so good.

“I’m honestly just very confused.” you said looking into his eyes. He nodded and lead you off the dance floor, toward the bar. He grabbed you drinks and you both sat at a table off to the side. “Yeah, I figured, but can I just say one thing.” You nodded in encouragement. “I really like you, and I know you like me. I also know you have feelings for that guy, deep ones. I don’t want to lose the chance to continue what we have, but if he really is the one, then you need to tell me.”

Your heart was caught in your throat and you felt the tears starting to pool. “I really like you too Jeremy. I had every intention of continuing this, but I just don’t know if I can. I really just need some time to think of everything, if that is alright?” you say quietly. You were worried Jeremy was just going to reject you, but he put his hand on yours. “Take all the time you need. I will be here when you are ready. If it’s not me, than I will accept that, but I secretly hope it is me.”

You laugh and nod, tears spilling from your eyes. Jeremy leaned in and kissed your cheek, lingering for a moment before downing his drink and heading out. You abandoned your drink, just wanting some time alone to your thoughts. As you make your way through the party, you can’t help but feel Bucky’s eyes on you. 

You are thankful when he does not come onto the elevator with you, as you really need time alone. You make it back into your room and quickly jump into the shower where you allow yourself to once again sob. You hated feeling so torn. Your thoughts were everywhere and you hated that no matter who you choose, someone you care about will get hurt. You didn’t want to think about anything else at that moment, but you knew that a decision would have to be made and soon.

After you change into sweats and a tank top, you plop onto your bed and stare at the ceiling. You were magically hoping that the answer would appear in front of you, but nothing. Suddenly you heard a soft knock, and you prayed it wasn’t Bucky. When you opened the door, the man of the hour was standing there looking worried. 

“Look, I know you might not want to talk to me right now, but I just want to say one more thing before I leave you to think about everything.” he said pleading. You allow him into your room, and you would be lying if you said you didn’t want to just be in his arms. You know thats a pro for Bucky on your list you were making.

“Okay, I shouldn’t have listened to you when you told me to go for Ashley. Hell, I should have forced you to let me in when you distanced yourself from me. I gave up to easily, which was wrong. The man who loves you should fight to the death, and I want you to know I am fighting now. I know you like that Jeremy guy, and I see the way he treats you. He would be a great fit for you, but I know deep in my soul, you and I are endgame.”

“You are the missing piece I have been looking for. I went through all my torture and 70 years of hell to bring me here and now. It was because you are here, and you are my soulmate. We are meant to be, and I know you feel it too but you are scared. I hurt you, and I want to hurt myself for doing that, but I promise I will make it up to you for the rest of our lives. So, that’s all I wanted to say. I love you, Y/N. You’re the love of my life, and no one will ever take me from you again.”

You didn’t even realize you were crying until you lunged at him and felt his embrace. He just made this whole thing so much harder. Bucky kissed your head and let you cry it out. Once you calmed down you pulled back and looked into his eyes. You leaned in and kissed him. When you finally pulled back he nodded, kissed your forehead and left the room. 

You laid back in your bed thinking about everything Bucky said. You always felt that he was meant to be with you, but why was something telling you to stay with Jeremy? Yes, you liked Jeremy, but you loved Bucky. Wouldn’t you be doing to Jeremy, what Bucky did to Ashley? You were so confused and didn’t know how to make this decision.

--

A week has passed since the party. You barely came out of your room, and when you did it was for food or to work out your frustration. You didn’t speak with Bucky or Jeremy. You needed this time to yourself, though Nat and Wanda did help you talk things out on a nightly basis.

Bucky had officially moved back into the tower into his old room. He respected your privacy and made sure never to eavesdrop on your conversations with the girls. He also tried to see you once a day, even if for a moment. He hoped him giving you an encouraging smile would help. Honestly though, he was scared to death.

One day he was sitting in the common room with Sam and Steve when he heard the elevator ding. Jeremy came walking out and into the common room. “Hey guys, is Y/N in her room? She called and asked me to come over.” he said. Bucky’s heart dropped. You made your decision, and it looked like it was Jeremy. 

Bucky said nothing, and walked out of the common room and to the elevator. He didn’t want to hear your rejection after you talk with Jeremy. He decided to go for a walk around the city. He had a chance with you and he ruined it. He only had himself to blame. 

He lost you.

--

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Going to make this a 10 part series. Feedback is appreciated.

Taglist: @jessyballet​ @captainchrisstan​ @matsumama​ @book--butterfly​ @fresa-luna​ @ilovesupersoldiers​ @collette04​ @pinknerdpanda​ @bloodyproudpotterhead​ @wtfevenismypage​ @dora-the-grownup​

Permanent Taglist: @hailmary-yramliah​ @tuiccim​ @comedictragedy​ @cap-n-stuff​

#Bucky angst #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes x reader #Bucky Barnes #bucky x reader #Avengers #heartbreak

[scarlettwitcher]

The Funny Thing About Life

Summary: Dean struggles with the aftermath of a difficult event in his life involving reader. (It’s super vague I know, but if I literally explain anything, it’s all spoilers. I swear it’s good)

Characters: Dean, Reader, Sam, Cas, OC!Leu, mentions of Ellen and Jo

Word Count: 5,300

Warnings: Angst up the wazoo, mild description of wounds, also some of the warnings are spoilers so I’m putting them in the tags lol

Author’s Note: Here’s this fic that I wrote a few weeks ago. I haven’t had a chance to post it till now. I was inspired after watching a youtuber play a game based on this concept. If anyone’s curious about the theme I was going for, let me know. I’m very glad to explain. I hope you guys like it, I haven’t written Dean in years lol. I apologize in advance if it’s bad, I’m not good at angst.

Death was inevitable. Dean knew that, Sam knew that, even Cas knew that but given the type of life they lived, they didn’t know when it was going to be permanent or if it was just a never ending cycle of lost heartbeats and gasps for air. Sometimes death was permanent and there was nothing they could do about it, watching countless friends and family pass away right under their noses. Sam and Dean somehow always found a way to cheat death though. Come back and walk the earth as if they hadn’t just been lifeless moments ago. Deal after deal after deal trying to protect each other from what was the inevitable end for the brothers. It wasn’t until you had just danced your way into their lives that they started to value life for what it was without trying to die. You traveled with the brothers for years, keeping them company in the back of the impala, cracking horrible joke after joke, offering your candy to a grumpy dean, or just sleeping the previous hunt away. To the outside world, it probably would’ve been weird just how comfortable the three of you became in a short amount of time but you just understood each other. The brothers had already lived a long and hard life before you came into the picture. They took their necessary precautions when it came to you but in a few short months, you had become one of their own. 

Living a life with the Winchesters was tough and sometimes downright impossible but you proved loyal to them every moment you could, sticking by through their hardest moments. Dean became attached not only to your beautiful face and appealing form but to your kind soul, your caring nature, your inability to give up. If he was to be completely honest, he fell in love with you the moment he first met you but he’d never admit it. He’ll never admit how much your smile can brighten his days instantly, how your laugh is his favorite song over Zeppelin and Jovi, how every moment with you is his favorite. He always had it bad for you since the moment you joined his misshapen crew. Dean could never understand how lucky he got that you even glanced in his direction, let alone fall in love with him too. He was terrified at first. He knew he had destructive habits, moments of lost clarity where he wasn’t himself truly. Having traveled with Dean for years before finding the bunker, you understood this, understood him. You were patient, loving, and Dean would never say it, but in a way you were his salvation. You showed him how to love himself first and how to better improve for himself and not only did he grow and achieve that, he learned how to truly love you. 

“Dean. Dean? Hey!” Dean snapped out of his thoughts of you to look up at Sam as he waved his hands in front of Dean trying to get his attention. Dean looked at Sam emotionless as Sam sighed, flipping his computer around to show Dean some camera footage. “There was a sighting of a man and a woman in New Mexico and caught police attention. Here they are passing through a gas station.” Dean clenched his jaw as he watched the tape play, the man they had been tracking for weeks walking across the aisle, motioning towards the girl to grab food for herself. The girl looked timid, almost broken as she grabbed a few bags of snacks, and water. Even though the tape was grainy and just a bit laggy, he could see the shake in her hands, the tremble in her body, the way her eyes looked everywhere in desperation almost as if she was waiting for someone to save her. The girl looked up at the camera, her eyes wide and teary, one eye clearly bruised up, cheek swollen, lips parted from what only looked like constant abuse. Dean felt the anger boiling inside of him as he pushed the laptop back at Sam, a bit more forcefully than he meant. Sam only let out a quiet click of his tongue as he took his laptop back, scrolling through a few more camera feeds. 

“When?” 

“Two weeks ago.” Dean grabbed the whiskey bottle as he filled his cup back up, throwing the glass back, the amber liquid burning his throat. Dean let out a quiet hiss before moving to refill his glass once more.

“Dean, how much have you drank?”

“Does it matter?”

“You know she wouldn-”

“Dammit Sammy, she’s not here is she?! She’s not here to tell me I shouldn’t.” Dean growled out loudly as he stood, chest puffed out as his breathing became more ragged and hard with every breath he took. Sam said nothing as he stared his brother down, trying to get his thoughts together. Dean was tense and if Sam pushed him, he’d probably break and take it out on him and that last thing they needed was to waste time they could be using to find you. 

“We’ll get her back, Dean. I know it’s only a matter of time but she’ll be home soon.” Dean only shook his head as he grabbed the whiskey bottle, leaving his cup on the table as he made his way towards his room which really was his and yours. Dean walked in, looking around, almost as if he was searching for you from instinct, searching for any movement, smell, any indication that you were in the room, hiding from him like you always did. He clenched his jaw, knowing you weren’t there and he felt the tension building in his bones again at the reality of the situation as he took a large sip from the bottle, trying to drown everything with the golden liquid. He wanted to drown his memories of you, thoughts of you, the smell of you, and forget. Forget you’re gone, out of his reach, forget that he didn’t protect you like he promised and had failed you. 

A month had passed since you disappeared. Dean couldn’t find you and after a week of no contact, he grew increasingly worried. It wasn’t like you to leave without a notice, without a call, or a note, or even a text. Saying that Dean was losing his mind was the understatement of the year. No one had heard from you and not even Cas could tune into your location. Dean denied it. He denied any idea that you had abandoned him, that you were fed up with your life with the Winchesters. He denied the thought that you didn’t love him anymore. Sam reassured him constantly that there was no way you had left him, that you were just as love sick as Dean. 

Another week passed and nothing. That was until Sam found something, or in this case, he was sent something. A video. Dean threw up after the first few minutes of watching the video and he couldn’t stomach watching the rest, leaving Sam to have to watch it, searching for any clues that could aid the brothers. The video was of you, bound and bloody, screaming into a mouth gag as the hooded man carved into your skin, making you sing songs that Dean would gladly never, ever listen to again. You looked like you had gone through hell and back. The man laughed in the video as he finally showed his face. “Hello Deaaanie! You’re probably wondering who I am. You can call me Leu.” The man chuckled as he moved closer to your exhausted form, wincing  as he grabbed your chin hard, making you face the camera. “Say hello to your dear husband sweetie.” 

Your tired eyes fluttered for a few seconds before focusing on the camera. Your lips parted slightly as you took a deep breath. Your throat was sore, like you had swallowed knives from all the screaming. “Dean, baby, don’t.” That’s all that you managed to say before the man slapped you hard, knowing the few specs of oxygen out of your lungs, leaving you almost breathless as you tried to breathe. 

“Well that was lame, I was expecting something more heartfelt. Oh well. Come and find me Dean.” The video went dark after that, Dean’s solemn and terrified face staring back at him. He grimaced and looked away, feeling the shame building inside of him more and more as the seconds passed by. He should’ve protected you better, should’ve been a better partner to you. Your blunt statement started ringing in his ears as he remembered what you said. Don’t. He knew exactly what you were talking about but he couldn’t bring himself to listen to you. How could you tell him not to when he had to and would. Sam had begun to do everything he could, tracing the video, searching for the mystery man in all of the databases, and unfortunately, re-watching the video for anything he missed, anything that could tip him off about your location. 

Dean laid on his bed as he stared at the bottle of whiskey, his anger boiling inside of him, his inability of being able to find you, adding gasoline to the fire burning inside of him. Sam had found a lead though and it seemed promising. He was about to take another sip but the loud call of his name had him running down the bunker, towards the main room where Sam was typing away furiously into his computer. “Dean, look at this.” Sam was about to show him another video feed before the video was interrupted, the skype window filling the whole screen, someone trying to call them. The name showed ‘Unknown Caller’. Sam sighed as he pointed towards the screen. “This is the third time this person calls.”

Dean grunted and clicked on the answer button ready to tell whoever was on the other end to go screw themselves but before the video loaded, there was a soft moan from a woman, one in pain, one Dean recognized all too well. The video loaded in and Dean was face to face with your broken body and the so-called Leu beside you. He had a large grin as he moved closer to the camera. “Finally! I really thought you were ignoring me for a second. Wouldn’t want to make our dear Y/n worry.”

“Son of a bitch! I’ll kill you!” Dean roared out, almost tempted to punch the computer screen but Sam was very ready to contain his brother.

“Now now Deano, don’t be so rude. We have a guest.” Leu walked closer to you, poking you with the knife in his hand. You stirred slowly, groaning as he touched another wound on your skin. You looked thinner, you clearly lost a lot of weight and that really worried Dean. “Don’t you dare touch her.”

“A little late for that remark. I really think I’ve created a masterpiece. So many different hues of blue and purple but my favorite is red.” Leu began to drag his hand across your arm, pulling grunts of pain from you before chuckling quietly as he walked back towards the camera. 

“What do you want?” Sam chimed up when he realized all of Dean’s focus was on you, watching as you struggled to breathe and move. Your bones ached with every movement and there was a point where you just stopped moving, the uncomfortable position better than the burning of your skin. 

“I want you to suffer.” Leu smiled wide as he turned and motioned to you. “It’s pretty easy really. The cycle of life, if you’d like to give it an official name. ”

‘You will pay for this. You will suffer as much as she has and worse.”

Leu let out a full belly laugh as he looked at the camera, wiping away fake tears. “Oh wow I’m definitely trembling in fear.” Both the brothers stared at Leu. If looks could kill, Leu would’ve been assassinated gruesomely. “ You can’t hurt me but I can hurt you. Enjoy this moment because after this, you will never see her again.” Just before the camera cut out, Leu blinked his eyes portraying the black eyes that constantly mocked the brother their whole lives. Demon. 

Dean felt his jaw clench and as he opened his mouth to speak, say anything, the call ended. The screen was blank and that was the last time he ever saw you just as Leu promised and that drove Dean just a bit closer to insanity. Dean didn’t waste a single second before moving back to his room and hastily packing his bag, shaving any clothes he could get his hands on in it. He grabbed his weapons and anything else he needed before moving back towards the main room where a confused Sam sat, typing away at his computer. He looked up as Dean dropped his bag on the floor, moving towards the bookshelf looking for something he also needed. 

“Dean, don’t.” 

“You can’t stop me Sammy.”

“She wouldn’t want this, you know that.”

“I’m leaving.” Finding what he needed, Dean grabbed his duffle bag from the floor before he hastily made his way to the garage. Sam knew better than to try to even reason with Dean. When it came to you, he would move heaven and hell a million times over to get to you. As Dean entered the garage, he threw his bag in the back of the impala, before slipping into the driver’s side, speeding out of the Bunker, a man on a mission. He knew the way to the crossroads like the back of his hand. He had done this countless times, he knew the drills. Crowley was no longer an option and he had to resort to old ways. Pulling up to the location, he moved on autopilot. He opened the trunk and pulled out a tin can, already prepared. Dean double checked it before making his way towards the middle. He set the trap in place before he dug the hole, burying the box.

“You know, we had a bet going to see how long I’d take for you to appear here.” Dean turned to face the Demon. Dean’s expression never faltered, if anything it became more menacing. The demon smirked as it watched Dean, walking around in the circle as she sighed, clearly already bored.

“Then you know why I’m here.”

“Yes… I do.” The demon moved closer to Dean, almost taunting him as her eyes flashed black. She chuckled quietly before clicking her tongue. “Unfortunately for you Winchester, I can’t make the deal.”

“Then get me someone who can.”

“That’s the thing pretty boy, we can’t.” Dean felt his lip curl in anger as he tried to stay composed but it was getting harder with every second that passed that he wasn’t getting what he needed. 

“I don’t want time, trade me for her.”

“I’m sorry Dean but no can do.” The demon was clearly amused and not an ounce of sympathy was in her actions. Dean licked his lips as he nodded his understanding. He rubbed his chin with his thumb before quickly turning and stabbing the demon straight in the gut. The demon flashed as it died on Dean’s blade but Dean showed no emotion. It didn’t matter how long it took, he would find someone who could give exactly what he wanted and what he wanted was you, safe at home. 

Demon kill after demon kill, Dean was relentless. Weeks and weeks of capturing and torturing any demon he could get his hands on. Then, they stopped appearing completely. The demons stopped appearing and Dean was losing his mind. He never had felt so out of loss of control as he did in that moment. He was sitting in his motel, staring at a photo he had of you and him. You were sitting at the bar table with Dean at your left side and Sam on your other. You all had chosen to stop at Ellen's for the night. Sam had gotten up to go to the restroom and left you and Dean at the bar. Dean thought it would be smart to say something funny and you were laughing hard as Dean watched you with a huge smile himself. Jo was working the bar and thought it was a cute sight and snapped a quick photo with her phone. Looking at the photo now, Dean realized this was when he really started falling in love with you. It was super obvious in the way he was smiling in the photo, watching you as you laughed your worries away. Dean ran his fingers across the creases the photo had from the wear and tear of being in his wallet. That moment felt like it was a lifetime ago when it really only was a few years old. 

Dean took a deep breath as he gingerly put the photo back into his wallet before tossing it on his bed. He grabbed the bottle of whiskey he had bought earlier, popping the lid, and taking a big swig of it. The amber liquid burned his throat but he didn't care. He welcomed the pain. He welcomed any distraction from his reality. Dean was no stranger to depression and feelings of inadequacy but this was a whole new level of low. Everything he promised he would and wouldn't do, he had done and that wasn't his biggest failure. His biggest failure was keeping you to himself when he knew you were worth more than someone like him and here you were, paying the consequences for his inability to admit that to himself. Dean felt the anger slowly dissipating, being replaced with the sorrow your absence created. He never wanted to know what life was like without you and now he did. He hated it. 

Dean never stopped looking for you. The days passed and he kept looking, pouring himself into his work, but each day, it was harder and harder for him. He'd drink his pain away, resort to the devil's liquid to get through his days. He became an empty shell of himself. Sam stopped calling after a few months of Dean ignoring his calls. Dean knew his brother deserved better too. It wasn't just losing you that affected him, it was losing his best friend, his hunting partner, his wife. Till death do you part. The few days he was conscious, those words rang through his head. Were you even alive? Had you escaped and just not come back? Was your body at the bottom of a lake? In a ditch? He didn't know and that's what sent him down his dark path. 

After a year passed, his depression got worse but he knew he had to return home. He wasn't Dean anymore and he didn't think he would be again. He felt numb at best. Walking back into the bunker by himself, was a new slap to his face. This was it. He had to accept that you were gone and you weren't coming back. Sam heard the door and made his way to the stairs, staring at what was left of Dean. Dean was thinner, he had new scars, he looked like he hadn't slept in months, and his eyes were just different. "Hey Sammy."

Dean would like to say it happened quick, that he was okay within a year, but that would be a lie. It took him years before he could even say your name again. Sam had finished making dinner and they sat in the library in comfortable silence as they ate before Dean pulled out his wallet, pulling out the photo of the two of you, dropping it between the two on the table. Sam looked at the photo with furrowed brows before looking up at Dean silently asking about it. Dean cleared his throat as he tried to organize his thoughts but in reality, he didn't want to. He was tired. He just wanted to talk. 

"Remember when we stopped at Ellen's? Y/n was just whining and whining about how much she missed her and Jo? She drove us crazy that whole drive?" Dean chuckled quietly as Sam nodded. 

"She said she wouldn't be your friend anymore if we didn't stop there."

"I couldn't believe she had even said that. Thought I was having a nightmare." 

"I mean, we both know she was just fibbing. Had she pushed just a bit more, you would've caved anyways."

"Yeah, she did have me wrapped around her finger, didn't she?"

Sam scoffed and smiled as he stared at the photo. "Since the first day we met her." Sam felt his smile falter a bit as he nodded towards the photo, his eyes flicking up to watch Dean, being careful with how he approached his next question. "Do you miss her?"

Dean felt his eyes water. He wasn't one to cry but when it came to you, the tears always flowed freely. "Always. Every day. I don't think I ever stop missing her."

"You haven't said her name since the day you came back."

"I know. I think I'm ready."

"To talk about her?"

"To let her go." Sam didn't need to ask what Dean meant. He knew exactly what it meant. Sam nodded his understanding before motioning for Dean to finish eating. 

By the end of the day, both boys had organized everything they needed, standing in front of the Hunter's funeral they had created. They didn't have a body to burn but had replaced it with all of your favorite things, everything that made you you. There was a plate with your favorite food, your favorite shirt, and little things you loved to collect. Dean stared at it all. This was it. Sam waited for Dean to ask him to stop. When the minutes passed and he said nothing, he threw the lighter onto the wood, watching as it all engulfed in flames. Dean accepted your death and hoped that you were in heaven, enjoying yourself. You deserved it. 

"Dean?"

"Yeah Sammy?"

"Wake up." Dean furrowed his brows as he looked over at Sam. 

"What?"

"Dean, wake up!" 

Dean jolted awake, pulling the gun out from under his pillow, aiming it at Sam's head as Sam jumped back with his hands in the air. "Woah woah!"

Dean groaned out as he put the gun down, sighing as he rubbed at his eyes. "What's going on Sam?"

Sam sighed as he rubbed the back of his neck, hating what he had to do. "Dean, come on. It's today." Dean felt the blood run cold inside of him as he looked up at Sam, feeling the anger raise in his blood. 

"Is Y/n ready?" Sam swallowed thickly before nodding his head. He felt his throat closing up before clearing it. 

"Yeah." Sam didn't want to talk more as he made his way out of Dean's room. Dean let his head fall back into his pillow as he stared at the ceiling. What a fucking nightmare he just had. He looked over at the picture frame he had on the small bedside table. He picked it up and stared at the photo before taking a deep breath. 

"When I come back, I'll tell you all about the nightmare I had. You won't believe it. It felt so real." Dean kissed the frame softly before putting it back on the table. He got up and made his way to the closet, pulling out his fed suit. He remembered clearly that you had asked him to wear his best suit, he had to dress up fancy. You wouldn't accept anything less. He chuckled as he could hear your words echoing in his head. "You better look good Winchester or else you'll feel my wrath. I won't even make you pie for a whole month." 

This feeling in Dean's chest was heavy, it felt like he had swallowed bricks and they were sitting in his lungs, ready to suffocate him. He grabbed a red tie you had bought him just for this. You had to match, you told him when you gave it to him. He stood in front of the mirror, going through the motions he knew all too well. Once he was done, he walked over to his dresser, slipping on his wedding band, smiling at the relief the known weight brought to him. Once he was ready he made his way outside where Sam, Cas, and you were waiting for him. He felt the breath in his lungs be knocked out of him as his eyes fell on you. You were wearing a beautiful red dress, your favorite dress. Your hair was curled and you weren't wearing any makeup, your natural beauty shining through. Dean swallowed thickly as he kept his eyes on you, committing the memory to sight. 

Sam nodded his head to Dean before looking over at you, feeling the swell of emotions bursting in his chest. The weight of the lighter heavy in his palm. He took a deep breath and threw it, watching as you burst into flames from the moment it made contact with your skin. The three boys stood watch as you slowly burned away, moving on to heaven where you wouldn't suffer anymore. "Goodbye baby." Dean murmured as he watched the flames slowly die out. The sky trembled and within minutes, the rain poured onto the men but they didn't care. 

"I'm sorry Dean."

"It's not your fault Cas."

"I should've done better.” 

"It's what she wanted Cas." Cas took a deep breath before turning back to the burned embers of where you used to be, of what's left of you. 

"She deserved better than this."

"That's the funny thing about life isn't it?"

.               .               .               .               .               .               .

"What's your name Sweetheart?"

You chuckled as you pulled your knife out of the monster you had just killed. "Wouldn't you like to know sweet cheeks?" Dean chuckled as he licked his lips. Sam joined the both of you as you all made sure there were no more threats. "But if you really long for this information, I'll indulge you. It's Y/n."

.               .               .               .               .               .               . 

"Dean?"

"Yeah sweetheart?"

"This isn't a one time thing right?" Dean frowned as he looked down at you as you laid on his bare chest. The fact that you even had to ask him hurt his heart. He knew in that moment he wanted nothing more than for you to wake up everyday in his arms. 

"Of course not. It never was." Dean kissed your head gently and you hummed your appreciation, slowly succumbing to sleep in his hold. 

.               .               .               .               .               .               .

"Dean we need to talk."

"You can't break up with me. We're already married." You let out a choked laugh as you tried to think of the best way to tell him. 

"I need you to be serious with me for a second." Dean felt cold. Whenever you said something like this to him, it was never good news. He didn't say anything and you took a deep breath, unknowingly speaking what would be your demise. "The doctor called me today."

"And?"

"I tested positive."

.               .               .               .               .               .               .

"So when do you start losing your hair?" You chuckled quietly as Cas grabbed your hair, looking at it like it would attack him. 

"When I start treatment. Doc said it would be aggressive." Dean sighed as he held your hand and you looked at him with a soft smile. 

"There's still time." 

"No Dean besides, I'm okay with it. I'm not scared to die." 

"But I'm scared to lose you."

"I'm still here and I'm not going anywhere." As much as Dean would've loved to push you, he knew he needed to support any decision you made. He owed you that much as much as he hated it. 

.               .               .               .               .               .               .

"We should name it."

"Name what?"

"My sickness duh." Dean looked at you like you grew a second head and you laughed. "Don't look at me like that?"

"Why do you want to name it?" Sam was also looking at you the way Dean was and you rolled your eyes, poking at your food with your fork. As the time passed, it was getting harder and harder for you to eat but Dean pushed you, trying to get you to eat anything. 

"To make it normal. For me." 

Dean took a deep breath as he watched you poke your food before licking his lips. "Alright, I'll bite. What do you want to name it?"

"Well I don't want to name it something outrageous. I was thinking about Leu. "

"Leu?"

"Short for Leukemia. I thought it was clever."

Dean smiled slightly as he nodded. "Very clever."

.               .               .               .               .               .               .

"Dean?"

"Yeah sweetheart?"

"Promise me that if you see a girl in a bar and she's hot you'll go for it."

"Now's not the time for jokes." You coughed quietly as you tried your best to scowl at him. 

"I'm not joking. I'm serious. I want you to have a life after me, after all of this." 

"There's nothing after you."

"Don't be such a romantic and promise me you'll live your life when I'm gone."

Dean sighed and remembered his promise to support what you wanted. "I'll try."

"Good. You need some friends." Dean laughed as he moved to get comfortable. Sitting next to the bed where you lay, surrounded by tubes and wires wasn't the best place for comfort but he didn't care. Before he could respond, your nurse came in to check on you for the night. 

.               .               .               .               .               .               .

The day you passed away, Dean was in shock, numb to the world. He never thought it would happen. A whirlwind of doctors running into the room, pushing him out so they could try to revive you, except they couldn't. You signed a DNR. Dean was left with himself, having to watch as you took your last breath. The loud dinging of your heart monitor making him feel like he'd lost his hearing, forever cursed to hear that sound. He didn't sleep that night. He couldn't. Returning to an empty bed, a bed you belonged in, was the icing on top of the shit cake he was handed. He broke a lot of furniture that night. 

.               .               .               .               .               .               .

"Yeah, I guess it is." Dean felt his lungs cut off his air as flashes of memories of you played throughout his head. Sam patted Dean on his shoulder, relaying his silent support. Dean nodded towards him in thanks. The sound of Sam's boots crunching in the dirt sounded behind Dean as Cas moved to stand next to Dean. 

"Did you dress her?"

"Sam couldn't and asked me to. She picked a nice wig. It’s really close to her natural hair."

"Thanks Cas, really."

Cas stayed quiet as he looked at the burnt spot on the floor. He didn't want to leave his friend alone, not during his weakest moments. He knew Sam left because he didn't want to cry with Dean around, it wasn't about him, it was about Dean. Cas smiled slightly as he thought of you. "You can go inside Cas."

Cas nodded as he pat Dean in the back. "I'll be inside."

Dean stared at the floor, the rain completely drenching him. His hair was matted to his head and a slight breeze made his teeth chatter but he couldn't move. He had to stay around just a bit more. His eyes were glued to the ash on the floor. He took a deep breath as his fingers fumbled with his wedding band, trying to figure out what to say. “I know I said I’d tell you about my nightmare later but I think now is a good time. You’ll probably laugh but it started with me and Sammy..”

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[liliesoftherain]

hiii 💕 if u r interested could u do 52 and 58 prompts (can i kiss u smth like that and are you flirting with me?) it could be about y/n having a crush on bakugo (he likes her too) but she flirts way too much on him (in front of everyone at the dorms) in the weirdest moments (middle of class, 1a watching a movie, eating lunch) but ends in fluff IM SO SORRY IF ITS TOO MUCH TO ASK if u don’t like it i can write another one 😊

A/N: This had me so happy, you have no idea. Thanks for the idea, and you better give me more :b 

Title: Who said pickup lines don’t work?

Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x Reader

52. “Can I kiss you right now?”58.  “Are you flirting with me?”

Katsuki Bakugou!:

You were constantly getting away with embarrassing him, there were way too many times to count as it was practically a daily occurrence. You were always doing it in the most public places, like in the classroom:

“I’m lost.”

Bakugou looked up to see you hovering over his desk, a confused look on your face as you held your notebook. It was study hall, and Aizawa was fast asleep, leaving people to their own devices. He was originally studying by himself, until you came over to bother him that is.

“Dumbass, why do I care.” He huffed, hoping his face wasn’t spotting a blush as he saw you pout.

“Because you’re the only one who can help me.”

“Tch. Whatever.” He looked back down at his desk as you set your notebook down in front of him, pointing to a-

A picture?

“What?”

“Like I said, I’m lost. Can you draw me the directions to your heart?” 

You pointed at your drawing, in the middle of it it said ‘Your Heart’ in very fancy lettering. 

Bakugou knew that this time his face definitely was heating up as you gave him a big flirty grin. The snickers and coos from his classmates only embarrassed him further as he ripped the page out and exploded it in his palms. 

“I’M NOT GIVING YOU DIRECTIONS TO SHIT, YOU LOSER!”

All you did was sigh and shrug your shoulders, giving him a wink as you grabbed your book in hopes he wouldn’t burn that too.

“Maybe next time, firecracker~”

“SHUT UP!”

Or even during lunch for the entire cafeteria to hear if they were listening. He knew that most likely no one cared, but it didn’t help it when you did something so grand it felt like all eyes were on him.

“Oh Katsuki!” You yelled from across the table, voice so loud that even Bakugou wanted to cringe back from it.

“What do you want now.”

“So, in front of all these witnesses,” You pointed to the lunch table and the rest of the people in the cafeteria, “I need you to do something.”

“No.”

“But you have to! Listen, you’re smart so I need you to answer this okay?” You fluttered your eyes, and Bakugou felt his resolve cracking. You always knew how to get him to do whatever the hell you wanted, he was sick of it.

“What.”

Mina, Kaminari, and Sero started to snicker as you dramatically stood on the table. They must have known about your stupid plan, those assholes.

“SO EVERYONE IS A WITNESS- KISS ME IF I’M WRONG BUT, DINOSAURS STILL EXIST RIGHT?” 

Plenty of eyes found their way over towards the commotion, and Katsuki felt his temper flare. Feeling mortified as you blew a kiss towards him and began to walk closer from atop the tables. 

“STAY AWAY FROM ME YOU LITTLE SHIT!” He got up and sped away, hoping the red on his cheekbones wouldn’t become permanent. He wanted your lips nowhere near his, or so he told himself.

Even times where it was just you two, you never left him alone.

“I’m sorry, were you talking to me?” You questioned, looking up from the pot of water you set on the stove to boil.

Katsuki, who was cutting some vegetables looked up with a brow raised.

“No?”

“Well then, would you please start. I like hearing your voice.” You smiled while grabbing the noodles.

“NO!” Katsuki snapped his head away from you, putting more force into his cutting than necessary.

“No fair, your voice is too pretty to be kept quiet. Talk to me.”

“S-shut up already! I’ll fucking kick your ass if you keep it up!”

“Could I kick yours back if you do?~”

“LIKE YOU COULD! DON’T TOUCH MY ASS!”

There were times where you weren’t even trying, yet you still somehow managed to get to him. This time in particular is when he couldn’t hold back any longer, and that was the first time you were flustered by him.

It was right after school ended, everyone was exhausted by Aizawa’s intense training at the end of class. Everyone had made their way to get changed out of their uniforms when Bakugou had saw you lingering behind. You looked tired and worn down, having a rough session with Shinsou earlier. Katsuki was annoyed the entire time you were fighting, not because he thought you couldn’t handle yourself, but because you seemed distracted and were taking more hits than you should have been. 

Without even realizing it himself, he stopped to bend down, pretending to tie his shoes as he waited for you to catch up. Once you were by his side you looked down at him with a frown, what the hell was this?

You were always smiling at him.

“What the hell is up with you?” He huffed, standing to his full height.

“I’m just.. Tired, sorry.” You shrugged, bringing an arm to rub the side of your neck, looking away.

Katsuki just stared on in worry, although if anyone told him he was worried he would blast them into oblivion, because Katsuki Bkaugou was never worried.

“Tch, then get more sleep. You can’t keep getting your ass handed to you like that. Got it?”

You smiled, or well you tried to. It was small and didn’t seem to be real, and Bakugou felt a bit hurt cerep into his chest. He looked away as quickly as he could, hoping you didn’t notice the upset look in his eyes.

You hadn’t been pestering him lately and he was growing annoyed. You weren’t being yourself, and he had this nagging feeling he didn’t understand tugging on his heart. 

Picking up the pace to get away from you, he didn’t think you’d try to so hard to catch up to him.

“Bakugou-ooh!” During the match, Shinso had delivered a hard blow on your left knee, and now that you were rushing to keep up with your crush, your body wasn’t ready for the pressure. Along with the blow, and still being so tired from your match, you moved quicker than your body wanted and your knee gave out.

Katsuki quickly turned to see you tumble forwards, so he stuck out his arms to catch you before you fell face first onto the floor. You stumbled a bit more, but his tight hold on you held you up, allowing you to steady yourself in his arms. They were wrapped around your waist, holding on just enough to not be painful. You could feel his chest underneath your palms as they pressed against him, and you couldn’t help the slight blush at the thought of how strong it was. He looked far too handsome right now, and your gaze was stuck on him.

 His beating heart quickened as you looked up at him, your eyes were blown open wide and sparkling from the setting sun that was filtering through the large windows. It caused his breath to hitch as your lips parted open in awe, a light blush across your own cheeks. 

“Oh Katsuki.. I think I’m falling for you.”

Normally he’d fight you, push you away and yell at you for being ridiculous as always, but right now you were too beautiful to look away from. You smiled up at him, and it wasn't the same flirty smile you always teased him with.

No, this was a genuine smile that he’s never seen before and he couldn’t help but look at your lips.

He knew what that feeling had to be, he missed you. Your flirts, your presence, but most importantly;

That’s the smile he’s been missing all day long.

He couldn’t help it, the urge to speak was too strong and so he just followed through.

“I’ll sweep you off your feet for the rest of my life if you keep looking at me, just like this.” 

Your mouth dropped open, red roses blooming across your cheeks as your breath caught in your throat. He was just looking at you so intensely, like if he was absolutely lovestruck. You didn’t know what to do, so you just stuttered.

“W-what? I-I.. huh? Are you flirting with me?” This seemed to snap him out of his own daze, because his cheeks then matched yours as he backed away from you. Hands crossed over his chest as he yelled at you.

“W-WHAT!? YOU NERD, I DIDN’T SAY SHIT! YOU’RE HEARING THINGS! GO AWAY ALREADY.”

“But you said-”

“I DIDN’T.”

“Did you mean it?”

“I DID!”

“Really?” You bite your lip, happiness coursing through your body at the sight of his flushing face.

He eyes screwed shut while letting out a sharp breath, opening them slowly but keeping his gaze on the ground.

“I.. I did. I.. I fucking like you okay?”

“I like you too Katsuki, really really!”

“I hope so, otherwise I’d kick your ass for leading me on with those terrible liners.” He clicked the roof of his mouth with his tongue, uncrossing his arms to shove them into his pocket instead. 

You just giggled, closing in on him to wrap him into a hug. He went ridgid, not sure what to do, but calmed down as he heard your voice.

“They’re only for you, no one compares to you.”

“Damn straight.”

“Oh, hey.. Can I kiss you right now?”

“Damn straight.”

Later that night, back in the dorms, you were sitting on the couch, with your now boyfriend, when your phone buzzed. Pulling it up you saw a text from Kirishima.

“What does he want?” Katsuki huffed, receiving a text from the boy as well.

You opened the message and couldn’t help but smirk.

“Looks like he had a present for us, damn there must be something wrong with my eyes ‘cause I can’t keep them off of you in this picture. Who knew you could look this cute.”

Katsuki slammed his phone on the couch, jumping off while screaming out into the dorms.

“SHITTY HAIR!”

You only looked back to the picture, your heart squeezing happily as you did. It was from earlier, he must’ve been spying. It was after Katsuki hugged you right after your kiss, and while you couldn’t see his face at that moment, you could see it in this picture clearly.

You swore to yourself you’ll see it in person one day, the smile on his face was the most gorgeous thing you’ve ever seen in your life.

#bnha #bnha x reader #katsuki x reader #katsuki bakugou x reader #bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #bnha katsuki x reader #bnha katsuki bakugou x reader #bnha bakugou x reader #bnha bakugou katsuki x reader #mha #mha x reader #mha katsuki bakugou x reader #bnha requests #liliesasks #my hero academia #boko no hero academia #boku no hero academia

[bugsandchatons]

when you weren’t mine to lose (4)

Summary: Change is a scary thing, especially when it feels like nothing has stayed the same.

It’s been a year since Marinette became the Guardian of the Miracle Box - a year of struggling beneath a burden she never asked for, a weight that has her leaning on her partner more and more as the hours fly by, of letting him come to her, too, when he needs a soft place to land. A year of falling for the boy who takes on the world by her side with a smile made of sunlight, and fighting the growing urge to tell him what he means to her.

After all, they’ll have time enough for that when Paris is safe.

But when the unthinkable happens, Marinette learns the tragedy of loving someone quietly, and the lines she’ll cross to save him.

  [[AO3]] {from the beginning}

*****

[four: when I’ve got nothing but my aching soul]

The world around her keeps going, but Ladybug’s universe narrows to three things: Chat Noir’s frozen form, the shattered mirror at his feet, and her own hand, reaching in vain across the space between them. At some point, darkness must fall around her in earnest, as the sun dies behind the horizon. At some point, the akumatized victim must gather his strength and crawl away, finding his own way down the fire escape and leaving Ladybug to her vigil.

She doesn’t spare him a glance.

The beeping in her ears blares one last warning and the static fades, bringing the return of sound and with it, faint gasps that come in a rhythm.

It’s coming from her, Ladybug realizes. She can’t seem to find enough air.

There’s a flash of pink and she shuts her eyes against it. When she opens them again, Chat’s blank stare meets her. Her stomach turns, threatening to empty. “I can’t breathe,” she tells him, choking on the words. 

Still, he doesn’t move. 

Another sound finds her, be it mere moments or hours later. It takes too long to realize it’s her name.

“Marinette?” Tikki, exhausted and wide-eyed, is patting her cheek. “Marinette, what happened?”

“Chat, he -” she whispers, lifting a trembling finger. She can’t find any more words, but it’s enough. 

Tikki spins around and makes a strangled sort of sound before zipping over to him. “Chat Noir?” she asks, her voice clear as a bell. Marinette blinks, then sits up straighter and stares. If she can’t fix it, then Tikki will.

“Plagg?” Tikki tries, her voice jumping an octave. “Plagg,” she calls again, before her expression twists. In the blink of an eye, Tikki phases into the Chat statue, before reappearing with something that’s enormous in her hands but tiny when she brings it over and lays it in front of Marinette. 

It’s Chat Noir’s ring, the Black Cat Miraculous in a state she’s never seen it in before. It’s still black, but burned black. The signet face is blank, and the absence of the usual flashing green paw print is as glaring as a missing heartbeat.

When Marinette opens her mouth to speak, nothing makes it past the lump in her throat. She swallows, then tries again, her voice hoarse. “Where’s Plagg?”

Tikki makes a small sound, similar to that of an animal in pain. Everything about her droops. “I don’t know, Marinette. The Miraculous is broken.”

Marinette shakes her head, the movement slow and mechanical. She reaches out for the shattered hand mirror and stares at her own fragmented reflection as it looks back with broken accusation in her eyes. She whispers, “Why didn’t it work, Tikki?”

Tikki closes her eyes. “Lucky Charm has failed before when the Akuma's ability was able to impact it. This is…” she trails off, touching down onto the roof in front of Marinette, her eyes glassy with her own grief when she looks back up. “I’m so, so sorry.” 

It takes a moment for her meaning to land, the only sound Marinette’s harsh, hiccuping breaths. She looks from the black ring to the black statue of a boy whose name she never knew but wanted to learn. Her partner, her kitty, his eyes empty when they were always so bright, his mouth a gaping wound when it used to offer sunbeam smiles.

Marinette had lost him time and time again, but he’d always come back. She’d saved him, over and over. It was never supposed to be permanent.

She looks down at the mirror that failed her, failed him, screws her eyes shut, and smashes it into the rooftop. Glass shards fly free and nick her arms, her cheeks. Marinette does it again, then again. 

“Marinette,” Tikki cries, “you’re hurting yourself, please!” 

Was she? She couldn’t feel it. She gives in anyway, dropping the destroyed mirror and picking up the Miraculous ring instead. She shuffles closer to Chat, stopping just short of touching him. Her hand shakes as she closes her fingers around his ring.

She’s held it before, but she’s always been able to give it back. 

“Marinette Dupain-Cheng.” her name comes from a low, smooth voice behind her, belonging to someone who wasn’t there before. “In hindsight, I ought to have known it would be you hiding behind Ladybug’s mask.”

She feels Tikki nestle into her hair. Marinette fists her fingers and rises to her knees. She turns slowly, lifting her eyes to meet Hawkmoth’s as he stares down at her. Something inside her catches fire and starts to burn.

“Nothing to say on your behalf?” he asks. “No desperate denials?”

Marinette glares back. If he’s disappointed in her refusal to engage, he says nothing of it. He tips his head down in the smallest of nods. “I’m afraid I require your Miraculous, Mademoiselle.”

She lets out one harsh sound, too sharp and brittle to be a laugh. “Now you ask nicely?” 

Hawkmoth is silent for a beat, then another. He clears his throat. “It would be in your best interest, as well.” She stares him down as he inclines his head in Chat’s direction, but seems unable to fully look his way as he continues, “I can fix what has transpired here tonight.”

“You can fix him,” Marinette turns the words over in her mouth. They taste like ashes. “Why?”

Another silence. Hawkmoth seems to measure what he’d like to say carefully before admitting, “I have reason to believe he’s my son.”

“Your son,” Marinette echoes. The flames inside the cavern of her chest lick higher and higher, a blaze building to an inferno.

“I believe so, yes.” Finally, he turns his gaze to Chat, though any expression Hawkmoth might offer in the face of what he’s wrought hides behind his mask. Marinette’s fingers itch with the desire to claw his eyes out. “This evening, my son did not come home. No one has seen him for hours now, which is an anomaly on its own. He is typically obedient and does not leave our house without accompaniment, so his continued absence is highly unusual.” He pauses, his brow furrowing. “I...have wondered before about the possibility of him being Chat Noir. Now, between the timing of his disappearance and the demise of your partner, the coincidence seems too great to disregard. With your earrings and his ring, I can likely restore him.”

Marinette clenches her fist around the broken ring until it bites into her skin. It wouldn’t be granting any wishes, now. “Restore him,” she says slowly, venom slipping into the cracks in her voice. She rises; one foot underneath her, then the other. “You? You ruined him. You killed him.” 

Hawkmoth watches her, his face infuriatingly blank. Marinette takes a shaky step, putting herself firmly between him and Chat as her emptiness gives way to something vicious and blistering. “You put him in danger every day, and for what? Now he’s gone. You can’t save him,” she spits. “You took him away from me.” 

Her words echo, splintering the quiet of the night. Hawkmoth’s jaw ticks, the only outward sign of his displeasure. “If you’re quite finished with the dramatics,” he begins, “I am offering the chance to change it.” 

“No, you’re trying to get what you want. To take the Miraculous and use them for something selfish. If I were to do that, I wouldn’t need you, now would I?”

Hawkmoth’s lip curls. “You know nothing of me or my purposes. You run around playing hero, but you have no idea of the true power of the forces you interfere with. You are nothing but a child.” 

“Maybe,” Marinette admits, “but I’ve still managed to best you a thousand times over.”

“So you will not cooperate, then.” 

Marinette lifts her eyes to his. He could take the Miraculous from her, she knows, and easily. Tikki hasn’t eaten, and she can’t transform. Marinette doesn’t care. She dares him to take a step. She’ll burn him down and the world along with it. “No,” she says, “I will not.” 

His eyes narrow to slits. “We shall see, Miss Dupain-Cheng.”

She stares back, undaunted. His threats can’t touch her. There’s nothing more he can do that would be worse than what he’s already done.

He half-turns, waving his cane towards Chat. “And what are you going to do for him on your own? Give it time. You might find that you and I are not so different when it comes to losing those we love.”

Her breath catches in her lungs. The ring feels like a brand in her palm. Hawkmoth would trade a life to bring back whoever it was he’d lost. If she could, would she make the same choice?

“Go, Hawkmoth,” Tikki speaks up, her little voice colder than Marinette has ever heard it. “The Guardian will deal with you in due time.”

Silence greets her. It stretches on until Marinette hears his footsteps retreat, then fade. 

When he’s gone, she steps closer to Chat, shaking like a leaf in the wind. “Oh, minou, mon rêve,” she whispers. “Can’t you come back to me? I was going to tell you my name,” she lifts a timid hand and lays it against his cool cheek. “I was going to tell you I love you.” 

Ashes fall from his cheek like teardrops, staining her fingers. As though a mere touch was all that was needed, Chat crumbles, ashes falling at her feet and scattering on the wind. When dust is all that remains, something inside Marinette twists and breaks.

She drops to the rooftop when her legs give up, unwilling to hold her any longer. She screams, for Chat, for anyone, until her voice is ragged and nearly spent. She draws freezing air into burning lungs and screams some more, begging Bunnyx to come and take her back, back to when the worst thing she had to face was telling her partner the truth.

Tikki rides out the storm on her shoulder, her little hands pressed to Marinette’s cheek. “Bunnyx will only come if all else has failed, Marinette,” she murmurs. “At the end of everything.”

“Chat is gone,” Marinette whimpers, “Hawkmoth knows who I am. This feels like the end of everything to me.” 

Tikki presses her face to Marinette’s, her little body shaking. “There must be something, then. Something we’ve missed, another chance-”

Another chance. Marinette goes very still. “A second chance,” she gasps. She finds her feet, slowly. She swipes a soot-stained hand over her cheek and turns in the direction of home. “I need to get to my bedroom, Tikki. Without anyone seeing.” She fumbles for her purse and produces half a macaroon. “Please eat, if you can.” 

Like mismatching puzzle pieces, she forces together a plan. A convoluted one, a risky one, but a plan, none-the-less. As she strings it together, she finally feels like she can breathe.

“What are you thinking?” Tikki asks before taking a bite.

Marinette tells her.

 ****

The race to her terrace is a blur. Ladybug stumbles over her potted plants until she reaches the hatch and falls into her bed, then slides down the ladder. She drags herself on weary feet to the locked chest in the corner. Inside, buried beneath several layers of fabric scraps, is the Miracle Box.

Ladybug presses her thumbs to the buttons and watches as it springs open at her touch.

“Are you sure about this, Marinette?” Tikki had asked, blue eyes wide and uncertain.

No. She wasn’t at all sure that this was the right choice, but she was sure that this was her best chance.

Ladybug selects the Miraculous she needs and slides it onto her left wrist. She tucks the box back away safe, stands, and grabs a hair ribbon from her desk. With it, she ties Chat’s ring to her other wrist, pressing the blank signet to her lips before something else catches her eye.

Her phone blinks insistently from the desk. There are a dozen missed messages - her mother, her father, Alya. One in particular grabs her attention, a short text from an unknown number.

This is Nathalie Sancoeur. Miss Dupain-Cheng, is Adrien with you?

She blinks. There are others - another from Alya, from Nino, even Chloe, all asking the same thing.

Is Adrien with you? 

Ladybug’s phone slips from shaking fingers. 

Between the timing of his disappearance and the demise of your partner, the coincidence seems too great to disregard.

Ladybug swallows. She breathes in through her nose and lets it back out. She’d fix it.

“One more time, Tikki,” she’d begged on the rooftop. “If this works, it...it might be awhile.”

Tikki had pressed a kiss to her forehead, determination clear in her eyes. “If it gives us a chance to save Plagg and Chat Noir, then it will be more than worth it. Good luck, Marinette.”

She digs an old, treasured charm bracelet out of her purse and dons it, too. She’d never had to ask for luck before, but now, she would take every bit she could get her hands on. 

Ladybug leaves her home as quietly as she snuck in. She swings down from the roof and slips into the park across the street, letting her feet carry her until she finds herself in front of the statue dedicated to herself and Chat Noir. The violent hole in her chest gapes open, even wider than before.

At least here, she can see his smile.

This time, when her eyes burn and her throat swells and her heart breaks, Ladybug lets it consume her. She lets tears burst through the dam she’d built and drowns in them. She lets the grief pour out of her until she’s choking on it.

Through it all, she waits.

She feels it, when it comes - in the shift in the air, in the chill down her spine. She lets out a ragged breath. “Tikki,” she whispers. “Sass. Unify.”

Then Ladybug reaches out and allows damnation and salvation both to land in the palm of her hand. “There you are, little butterfly. I’ve been waiting for you.” 

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug fics #ladynoir #ml fic #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #lovesquare #fic:when you weren't mine to lose #i appreciate you guys so much #every like and reblog sends me to a higher plane of existence thank you

[platypanthewriter]

Unless...? Ch. 2/4

Previous

The next Monday, Steve waited, twanging random chords, but Billy didn’t show up.  After another unproductive hour, Steve took the risk of driving by his apartment and knocking on the door, and Billy smiled just as bright, his eyebrows high and startled.  

“...hi,” Steve tried, and Billy laughed, shaking his head.  

“...we could get a pizza,” he said, looking from Steve into his apartment, and backing in to hold the door.  The light behind him gave him a glow of warmth, and Steve smiled, thinking how sad and lonely it was to wish Billy Hargrove was in his house to welcome him every night after work, like Billy didn’t have his own life to live.

Steve grinned and shook his head.  “Thanks,” he told Billy, and sidled in, keeping his hands in his pockets.  

Billy dropped onto the couch, watching him, and glanced at the TV.  “We could—we could see what’s on,” he suggested, and Steve nodded, laughing for no reason.  

His cheeks felt warm.  “Y-yeah,” he nodded, clearing his throat.  

They watched something with a hospital—Steve had no idea what—too focused on how feverish he felt, warm and restless, and yet cool enough that he twice caught himself leaning into Billy’s shoulder.  

Billy leaned into him, finally, and Steve let him.  

Steve couldn’t help wishing he was a kid, again, instead of a grown man—a kid that could curl close around Billy, and rest against his shoulder.  He swallowed thickly, and tried to focus on the TV show, and not the way its flickering light accented the tattoos across Billy’s stomach, or the way the pizza grease gleamed on his lips. 

After a couple slices, he got up to leave, and Billy blinked up at him, his smile cautious.  “You...don’t wanna stick around?” he asked, and Steve blinked, then couldn’t help a fond grin.

“I can’t stay for a sleepover, I have work in the morning,” he said, and Billy laughed, cocking his head.

“Maybe...this weekend?” he suggested, and Steve wanted to curl up on the couch with him again, but imagined the awful night he’d have, sleeping on the couch in his jeans—or buying pajamas, and a toothbrush, to stay the night in another man’s front room.  

“Uh,” he answered, trying to picture it.  “Maybe?”

“After work,” Billy said, leaning over the arm of the couch so his butt stuck out in his tight jeans, and Steve’s face felt hot as he looked away, embarrassed like he hadn’t been since middle school for wanting to stare at somebody fascinating.  

He remembered pretending to be Han Solo, and his face heated further—he’d posed in the mirror, his shirt open like Harrison Ford’s, but even once he got older and had some muscle tone, he’d realized, he’d never look that...magnetic.  “Maybe sometime,” he creaked out.  “After work.  I guess.  We could...do that.”

His goodbye was awkward, and he fled down the stairs without looking back, hoping Billy didn’t think he was insane for showing up at his apartment and mumbling replies while Billy watched TV.

 That Friday night the musical guests were Steve’s old friends, a group he’d played with in highschool and college, and he’d struck a deal to get them to come out after their European tour that involved way less bribery on his end than he’d anticipated.  “Sure, man,” Dalton said, laughing.  “We’ve been wanting to see how a band runs a bar.”

It was fun to see them, and they even wanted to play some of his old crap instead of just their new set, so he let himself get bullied into singing.  When he glanced over, Billy waved, and Steve waved back, like a dork.

Robin stared between them the whole set, speaking of dorks, and he was gonna tell her off, but she stomped over to wave her arms at Jonathan like they had some kind of secret conversation going on.

Steve took the high road and ignored them whispering, wandering over to the bar again. 

Billy slid him a shot of whiskey.  “Sounded good up there,” he said, coming over to lean in front of Steve, and Steve sat up straighter, so their faces weren’t inches apart.  

“I used to play with them,” Steve said, shrugging, and grinning.  He opened his mouth to explain and Billy snorted.

“I do listen, jesus.  Sounded like they were trying to, uh, lure you back, actually.”

They had been, and Steve was considering it—not permanently, but for a local event or two.  “Mmmn,” he said, sipping his whiskey.

“Do-d’you think you’d go,” Billy asked casually, grabbing his paring knife partly by the blade to cut a lime, and going still, his eyes clenched shut, as he cut his thumb open and squished lime juice in it at the same time.  He set his jaw, and he looked so long-suffering Steve started giggling.

“Shit,” he snickered.  “Wash it, I’ll get you a band-aid.”

“It’s fine,” Billy shrugged, stepping over to hold his hand over the sink, and Steve followed, taking Billy’s hand carefully in both of his and checking the sliced-open skin.  It was right inside the first bend of Billy’s forefinger, and he squeezed it, sighing.  It welled blood.

“Stop that,” Steve hissed at him, turning Billy’s hand in his to rinse it gently.  “Don’t make it worse.”

Billy let himself be tugged around, smiling.  “I’m not gonna bleed out, Harrington,” he said, and Steve rolled his eyes, and handed him a wadded up piece of paper towel to press against it.  “I’m gonna get you a band-aid.”

“Yeah, gimme a good one,” Billy told him, and Steve nodded, rifling around for fun band-aids.  

“We’ve got bug-eyed kittens,” he reported back, and Billy raised his eyebrows.

“...not even Power Rangers,” he said, and Steve grimaced, nodding, and suppressing a smile.  

“Not even Power Rangers,” he agreed with a heavy sigh.  “I’ll put in a complaint.”

“...I better at least get a kiss to make boo-boo better…fucking hell,” Billy trailed off into a mutter, screwing his whole face up like he’d bitten the lime.  

Steve laughed, glancing at Billy’s rapidly-flushing face, and then lifted Billy’s kittened finger and pressed it to his lips, and then he felt his face heating hotter than Billy’s, and slid a ten dollar bill across the counter for the whiskey.

Billy just stared at it, so Steve grabbed it and stuck it in his tip jar, instead.  Steve’s old band yanked him back up on the stage, and they’d brought him more whiskey, which he mostly doled out, but they seemed to think he should drink his own present.  

By the time the bar closed up, Steve was just lying on his back on the stage, his feet hanging off the edge.  The lights were refracting, like, four times as much as usual, he said to the air, and then Billy’s voice laughed.

“...Billy,” Steve said, rolling onto his side to look at him.

“Hey,” Billy said, crawling up on the stage to sit next to him.  “Uh, Robin—she said I should...take you home.”

“Ohhhh,” Steve said, then reached out to pat Billy’s knee, and missed, kind of, his fingertips brushing warm denim.  “You don’ gotta,” he said, “I’m...fine.”

“I think you’re pretty drunk,” Billy told him, and his voice sounded really nice, which Steve told him.

“You sound nice,” he sighed.  “But I’m okay,” he said again, stroking Billy’s knee, and squeezing it, a bit, so he wouldn’t lose it now he’d found it.  “I’ll sleep...here.  On the...on the microphone cords,” Steve announced, realizing he couldn’t feel them.

Billy caught his hand, laughing, and held it.  “Beds are better, though, huh?”  Steve watched his face, thinking aloud about how Billy’s eyes looked different under the lights, and Billy caught his other hand, when Steve tried to touch his mustache.  “Lemme take you home,” Billy whispered.  “Slumber party, remember?”, and Steve nodded, then narrowed his eyes.  

“...hey,” he mumbled.

“Hey, what?” Billy asked, pulling him up to sit.

“...tricked me,” Steve accused him, and Billy nodded slowly.

“Oh, yeah, I’m pretty tricksy,” he said.

“...that sounded unneesslarily sarcas...tic,” Steve accused him.  “Sarclastic.  I...conoclast.”

“Wow,” Billy told him, scooting him to the edge of the stage, and then jumping down himself.  “Okay,” he said, pulling Steve off into his arms, and Steve studied his face, rubbing both thumbs over Billy’s mustache, as Billy laughed, trying to yank his head away from Steve’s hands without dropping Steve on his ass.

“Heya, Tom...Selleck,” Steve told him.  “...your cheeks are really...really warm.”

“Oh my god,” Billy muttered, hauling Steve out past Robin, who just waved.  Billy finally stopped trying to keep him upright, and just scooped him into his arms, and Steve hugged him around the neck.  “Oh my god,” Billy repeated, as Robin laughed.

“You’re a—bad—traitor!” Steve yelled at her, waving a fist over Billy’s shoulder, and she gave him a thumbs-up.  “...bastard,” he mumbled into Billy’s collarbones.  “Sorry.  I don’t wanna...should’n be your problem.”

“You’re not a problem,” Billy said, trying to unlock his car with Steve’s legs across his arm.

Steve kissed his cheek and whispered “Thank you,” like he was five, and Billy nearly dropped him, scrambling to get the door open, and dump him inside.  He didn’t wait for Steve’s apology, either, slamming the door and pacing around in the parking lot making growling noises.  

When he yanked the door open and climbed into the driver’s seat, Steve opened his mouth to apologize, and then remembered to put his seatbelt on, but it caught around his arm somehow, and finally Billy leaned over to help, and Steve sat very still.  As the mechanism clicked, he reached up and rubbed his thumb over Billy’s upper lip.  “Hello Mr. Caterpillar,” he said, and Billy stared at him, then started laughing as Steve’s hands explored his mustache and jawline.

“Fold your hands while I’m driving,” Billy told him, and Steve nodded, crossing his arms as Billy started the car, and checked his phone.  “...kinda curious where you’d take us,” Billy said, backing out, “—but it’s pretty late, so—”

Steve nodded vaguely, studying Billy’s hand on the gearshift.  It was bigger than Nancy’s, and it’d been warm.  He liked it, he thought, but he kept his hands to himself as ordered, until they got to his house, and he thought about the artsy floating cement stairs his landlord had convinced him were cool.  “Billy,” he whispered, and Billy nodded, looking over.  “Um,” said Steve, trying to formulate a perfect sentence, and unbuckling his seatbelt, to lean in and watch Billy’s eyes widen.  “...Billy,” he started again, and Billy bit his lip, his eyes wide, as Steve whispered, “...I m-mustache you to help me inside.”

Billy burst into snickers, shoving Steve back against the door, then came around to help him out.  

“You should stay,” Steve told him, once they hadn’t died on the stairs, and Billy’d stopped swearing.  Steve’s arms hurt from Billy’s fingers digging in as he tried to keep them both upright, and Steve took his shirt off to rub at them, tottering into the kitchen to pull a bag of Reese’s peanut butter cups out of the cupboard.  

“...candy,” he said, waving it, and Billy laughed, scooping Steve’s shirt up off the ground, and laying it across the kitchen island.  “What are your tattoos,” Steve asked, pushing the bag at him.  He staggered over to yank at Billy’s shirt—and Billy let him, taking shallow breaths as Steve fumbled with silky blue cloth and tiny buttons, and slid clumsy hands over his chest.  He didn’t actually get any more buttons open, but Billy’s shirt was already open halfway down his chest.

Billy sat the bag of candy on the kitchen island too, catching Steve’s fingers as they slid around his sides.  He laughed breathlessly.  “What are you doing,” he asked, and his voice cracked, which was hilarious, until Steve’s fingers caught on a ridged scar.  He pushed Billy’s shirt away from his shoulder, ignoring the butterfly tattoo covering the rough skin, and spread his fingers to feel that it’d been a long, jagged cut.

“...what happened, no,” Steve asked, running the palms of his hands over Billy’s chest, as much as he could, with Billy’s hands gripping his wrists.  

“...just being a moron,” Billy whispered, as Steve stroked it more gently, feeling the skin under his fingers shiver.  His breath was warm.

“...why’d it...scarring so bad,” Steve asked, the soddenly drunk part of his brain unable to accept Billy wasn’t his, and he had no right to know.  “What—what happened.”  He leaned half against the kitchen island, and half against Billy, concentrating on his words instead of his feet.

“I just fell, I was drunk,” Billy said softly, and Steve nodded, watching his face, and waited, running the back of his knuckles gently over the twisted skin.  “I didn’t go to the hospital,” Billy whispered, finally, laughing.  “My uh, my Dad said if I was such a dumb shit, I could just bleed out.”

Steve bit his lips together, and nodded.  “...no,” he said, and Billy snorted a laugh.

“No?”

“You can’ do that,” Steve told him, fighting with his numb mouth.  “You can’t bleed out.”  

“Okay,” Billy said, smiling a little softer, and Steve brushed a thumb over his mustache again, and got his hand smacked away.

He stroked his hands up Billy’s sides, and stopped when Billy inhaled sharply.  Steve crouched for a second to brush his fingers around a bruise.

“Oh, that’s—” Billy laughed again, and Steve stood up again, staggered, and steadied himself against Billy’s shoulders.  “That’s just…”

Steve waited, muzzily, for Billy to say ‘I tripped,’ or something, but he tried to back away into the kitchen island, shaking his head.  “...what is it,” Steve asked.

“I’m dating somebody who knows I’m a dumb shit too,” Billy said, forcing another laugh, and Steve pushed away, stumbling a little as he yanked the freezer open.  “...whatcha doing?” Billy asked, and Steve groaned.

“Making coffee,” he muttered, looking over his shoulder, and nearly falling as his balance shifted.  “Can’t talk about this drunk.”

“We don’t need to talk about anything,” Billy said, clenching his fingers on the edge of the counter.  “I was just dropping you off—”

“The fuck are you dating, She-Hulk,” Steve mumbled, spilling ground coffee across the counter, and Billy elbowed him out of the way with a sigh, scooping the mess into his hand, and dumping it in the sink.  “...I thought She-Hulk was cool,” Steve told him, feeling bereft, and Billy started laughing again, leaning his face in his arms on the counter.  

“I’m not battered,” he laughed.  “I’m not a weakling.”

“No,” Steve huffed, tottering over to the cupboard with the coffee mugs.  “But...She-Hulk’s an asshole,” Steve announced.  “...treat you...right.”

“Holy crap,” Billy wheezed, cackling.  

Steve reached out and rubbed Billy’s back through his shirt, feeling him shake with laughter.  He felt solid, muscled and sturdy, and Steve’s hand lingered, thinking about the way Billy’s voice had shaken calling himself a dumb shit.  Steve stroked his spine like he was a cat, leaning against the counter next to him, and Billy just let him, leaning while Steve ran his fingers through Billy’s hair.

“Jesus, you’re so drunk,” Billy mumbled, his voice muffled by his arms.  If he’d been somebody Steve was dating, Steve thought, he’d have leaned over and kissed Billy’s nape, where his hair had fallen down past his chin, and the chain of his necklace showed against his neck.  Steve ran his thumb up and down the gap between Billy’s hair and the collar of his shirt, feeling bones through smooth, warm freckled skin.  

“Lemme play you a song,” Steve whispered, into the quiet of their breathing, and Billy twitched.  His skin was hot to the touch.

“...what,” he whispered back.

“Lemme play you a song,” Steve said, louder, smoothing his hand over Billy’s shoulder blades.  “Y’know...payback.  F’r—for me being, um, a pain in the ass.  I guess.”

“...you’re not a pain in the ass,” Billy said softly, and Steve yanked the collar of his shirt down and smacked a kiss there, as Billy made a weird noise like a Disney elephant.

“What the fuck,” he whispered, and Steve laughed, stepping back, and tucking his untrustworthy fingers under his arms.

“Sorry,” Steve mumbled.

“...okay,” Billy said, after a long pause.  He cleared his throat.  “...you, uh...you want me to make some coffee?”

Steve went still, staggered by the brilliance of the idea.  “...you’re perfect,” he said.  “You’re not a dumb shit.  I love you.”

Billy groaned into his arms.  “...go siddown, jesus christ.”

“I love you so much,” Steve told him, stumbling along as Billy put a hand on each of his shoulders, and walked him out to the couch.  “Let’s get married.”

“Yeah, sure, straight boy,” Billy told him, turning him in place, and shoving him backwards to sprawl across the couch.  

“Oof.  ...we could get straight people married,” Steve told the ceiling.  “For—for taxes.”  

“No one does that,” Billy called back, laughing.  

“We could, though,” Steve told him.  He could hear the water running into the coffee pot, and he sighed happily, then let himself roll off the couch with a loud thud.  The coffee pot rattled as it hit the counter, and Billy came running out of the kitchen as Steve sprawled in front of the couch, stretching to reach his acoustic guitar.

“What the fuck,” Billy said, dropping to sit next to him.  “Don’t just fall off the couch, I thought you’d died.”

Steve leaned back against the couch, strumming.  “You could live here/Sleeping next to me,” he sang, with the ease of finding notes that always hit when he was drunk off his face.  “I could write you songs/Make my drunk ass coffee.”

“Jesus,” Billy whispered.

“I don’t play music for dumb shits,” Steve told him, and Billy’s chin jerked up.  “So you can’t be one.”

Billy stared at him, then burst out laughing, as Steve tried a few more lines.

“Marry me, Bartender Billy,” he crooned, and Billy laughed harder, burying his face in his hands.  When the coffee beeped, he got up and brought Steve a cup, and sipped his own, sitting shoulder to shoulder with him on the floor, as Steve tried random chords.

“Weddings are fun,” he pointed out, and Billy coughed, then wiped his eyes.

“...friends don’t get married,” he pointed out, softly.  “Drink your damn coffee.”

“They could if they wanted,” Steve huffed, strumming, and leaning his shoulder against Billy’s.  “Marriage for frieeeeeends,” he sang.  “Fun never eeeeeends~”

“Shut up, nerd,” Billy snickered, leaning his head on Steve’s shoulder with a sigh.  “What about when you...if you meet somebody you—actually.  Want.  Want to, uh, marry.”

“I turned down like four dates in the last couple weeks,” Steve laughed, leaning to bonk their heads together.  “I mean.  I had plans, y’know?  With you.”

“...that doesn’t—”

“What would you wear,” Steve asked.  “I’m thinking...Las Vegas.  Hawaiian shirts.”  Billy started snickering, and Steve grinned at him.  

“Not getting married to anybody wearing a Hawaiian shirt,” Billy declared, and Steve idly strummed Your Song, by Elton John.  Billy sighed, his head heavy against Steve’s shoulder.  His voice was soft.  “You can’t even bother to dress up?”

“Oh, no, you want a tux?” Steve laughed, seguing into the Wedding March, and Billy snorted a laugh.  “I can wear a tux.  Or you want me in what,” he narrowed his eyes at the kitchen, thinking, then shot a thoughtful glance down at Billy.  “...you want me to wear the lace, huh.”

Billy spit his coffee, and scrambled up off the floor for paper towels, as Steve nodded.  

“Okay,” Steve nodded, the time since he’d drank, and the coffee, starting to help him string words together if he paid close attention.  “We talking, like, lace under the tux, or some kinda...man-dress,” he asked, squinting as he tried to picture it, and Billy yelled incoherently, stomping back over.  

“Friends don’t get married,” he hissed, dabbing at Steve’s carpet, and Steve switched to a note-by-note rendition of Pachelbel’s Canon in D, having spent long minutes at several weddings listening to it.  

“I don’t want you marrying somebody else, though,” Steve muttered.  “I bet she wouldn’t like slumber parties.”  

“...you wear a lace thong under a good suit, and I’ll marry you,” Billy said hoarsely, and Steve laughed, delighted.  

“That sounds uncomfortable as shit,” he declared.  “You’re on.”

“Oh my god,” Billy whispered, groaning into his hands, and Steve yanked him in close again, by the back of his shirt.  

“We gotta pick wedding music,” he said, switching songs again, and Billy glared at Steve’s hands on the guitar.  

“...are you playing the Scorpions at me,” he asked, and Steve shrugged.

“You recognized it, Mr. Hair Band,” he pointed out, and Billy sighed, settling in next to him.  “‘Course, really, I’d write you a song,” Steve told him, “—for our wedding,” and Billy sighed.

“You’re so weird,” he whispered.  He consented to write down their ideas, though, sitting there scribbling with a pen in one of Steve’s music-writing notebooks, and Steve snapped his picture.  It took about eleven tries, and finally Billy’s head was leaned back on the couch cushions as he laughed, his legs in a relaxed sprawl, and Steve set him as his lock screen. 

“What about a beach wedding,” Steve suggested.

“Mmm,” Billy snorted, his mouth quirking, and Steve took his picture again.  He looked tired, his head resting in his folded arms as he grinned.

“You don’t think I’m serious,” Steve told him, and he laughed.

“Nope,” he said, smiling.  “I think what you are is drunk.”

When Steve started to fall asleep for the third time, he scrambled to his feet—more clearheaded, but still clumsy—and drew Billy up with him.

“I should head out,” Billy said, and Steve grabbed his wrist and hauled him into the bedroom.  “...the fuck is happening,” Billy asked, in a weird thin voice.

“Slumber party,” Steve said, biting his lips, and looking as pleading as possible.  “I, uh, I’ve got some of those flannel pants, y’know.”

“You want me to sleep in your bed,” Billy whispered, blankly, and Steve stumbled over to his dresser, and poked around for the feeling of thick flannel.  

“Look,” he said, temptingly, “—they’re plaid.”

“I don’t give a shit if they’re plaid!” Billy squawked, holding his hands up, and Steve waved a pair in the air.

“They’re soooooft,” he said, coaxingly.  “They’re waaaarm.”

“Why are you doing this to me,” Billy groaned, but he held out a hand, and Steve smacked some flannel pajama pants into it.  

“Listen to your husband,” he said, and Billy smacked him with the pants, over and over, until Steve was laughing so hard he had to sit down on the bed, and Billy stomped out, through the kitchen, and into the bathroom.  Steve pulled his pajama pants on, and a t-shirt, remembered he hadn’t given Billy one, and looked up to see him hugging himself and shivering in the doorway.  

Steve could finally see some tattoos, in the dim light of the reading lamp—a smoking skull on one shoulder, and words along Billy’s collarbones.  He had his arms folded over his chest, though, and Steve drug his eyes away.

“Hey, bro, c’mere,” Steve said, waving his hand, and Billy sighed, then came in, and even crawled in the bed when Steve leaned way over and pulled the blankets back.  

Now he was shirtless, Steve kinda didn’t want to cover him back up.  He crawled closer to look at Billy’s tattoos, and Billy curled up like a pillbug, yanking on the blankets.  “Get off the blankets, you—fucking—bro,” Billy growled, and Steve bit his lips.

“...can I see your tattoos?”

“Jesus.  Some other time,” Billy muttered, yanking on the blankets, and Steve threw them over him, but he could still see the elegant black outline of the butterfly over Billy’s collarbone and shoulder, and he tried to lean and see more, subtly.

“...fuck are you doing,” Billy sighed.

“I like your butterfly,” Steve said truthfully, and Billy laughed sharply, reaching up to brush his fingers over it.  

“I was in this stupid group,” he muttered.  “I mean,” he said, rolling onto his back to frown at Steve, “--the--the women there weren’t dumb, it was stupid as hell I was in there.  I just went ‘cause—” he gripped the tattoo again, digging his nails into the scar, and Steve crawled closer, reaching out helplessly to squeeze Billy’s foot.

He laughed, unsteadily.  “They, um, they’d all had--way worse, you know, fucking--terrible shit.  Happened.  But the--um, the group leader lady would ask me shit.  And they’d kinda--they’d talk to me, after a while, I kept pretty quiet and they got kinda--brave, y’know, and they asked about my skateboard—” he pulled his arm out of the blankets, and ran his knuckles over the tattoo Steve had seen, on his arm.  “I told them about Max,” he said softly.  “She’s my sister, we got this dumb tattoo together, hers is a camaro—”

Steve laughed, lying down to listen, and Billy’s cheeks reddened as he cleared his throat.

“Anyway,” he said, reaching up and touching the butterfly, and the scar it concealed, “--they had--they had scars too, and one of them--she was rad,” he laughed, “--she said we should all get tattoos.  Sort of...reclaim the scars, she said.  They asked me about the lady that did ‘em.  We all went, we all got tattoos.”

“...that’s really cool,” Steve told him, reaching out, chickening out, and sliding his fingers between Billy’s, instead of touching his jagged scar.

“Yeah, we still meet up sometimes,” Billy said, watching Steve’s thumb rub his hand.  “I’m not very good at listening to them, I guess."

“That’s okay,” Steve told him, just wanting him to look less depressed, and Billy's mouth quirked.

Steve shivered, and Billy punched his shoulder.  “Get the fuck in bed.”

“Yeah,” Steve said, grinning, his stomach a little fluttery.  He crawled back to his side of the bed and switched off the light, then slid under the covers, reaching out for Billy’s warmth.  “Are you little spoon or big spoon,” he whispered, and Billy started laughing again, a little hysterically.  He shook with snickers as Steve slid both arms around him, hugging him close, and then he was stiff as a mannequin for a long second before muttering “God fucking damn it” and slumping back against Steve’s chest.  

Even after bartending all night, he smelled good, and Steve let himself drift.  He heard Billy whisper ‘Harrington,’ and then, ‘Steve’, but he felt weighted with drowsiness.  He felt Billy’s stubble brush his cheek as he drifted off.

Steve woke up refreshed and warm, on the wrong side of the bed, all by himself.

#harringrove #Just hugging as friends and hand-kissing as friends #Steve dying of confusion #Billy dying of gay #platypan #platypan fic