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pitifulbaby · 2 years

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business as usual ⤿ eight

THE PHONE

pairing: mob!bucky x reader

chapter warning: n/a

a/n: listen i am so sorry for taking so long to get this chapter out, i get into these moods where i am like ‘yes, writing!’ then i get the days of having no ideas. i really am trying so please dont think i am abandoning this story! i am still very new to writing stories, in WDB thats the furthest ive ever gotten in writing a story. on top of this all, me and @youlightmeupfinn have started doing some christmas prompts and the requests are open if you are interested in that! also i have made up a little faceclaim list right here! once more characters are introduced i will post another list. happy reading!

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James stared down at your shattered phone in his hand, after you had ran off he realized your phone was still on the ground. He wasn’t just going to leave it there, so now he was seated in the car, staring down at the phone.

The Mercedes Benz he drove was parked, biting at his bottom lip as he never took his eyes off the small device. Your phone was an older version, it ran slow and couldn’t hold much on it, but it was all you could afford. His thumb gently grazed the cracked screen. He knew he needed to get this back to you, but he couldn’t just show up to your house again.

Especially after what just happened.

He was soon pulled from the moment once the phone in his hand started ringing, his eyes widened as he read the name across the screen.

MADDY

It read with an array of random emojis, in a panic his hands started to fumble. As he fumbled he accidentally pressed answer, without thinking he let out a curse before grasping the phone in a tight hold before pressing the red end button. His heart was racing fast as he breathed out heavily, placing your phone into the cup holder before resting his forehead against the steering wheel.

Soon enough messages started pinging on the phone, the screen lighting up with your background. The photo was of a landscape, causing him to smile ever so at the photo. But the smile slowly vanished as his eyes scanned the messages that kept coming in from Maddy.

‘I hope you didn’t actually mean to hang up on me!’

‘I’ll fight you, I have no worry about losing against you’

‘Stop ifnorjn me!!’

‘Ignoring lol anyways call me back rn!’

His brows furrowed in nervously biting at his bottom lip. Truth be told he didn’t know what to do in this situation, and Bucky always knew what to do. He softly frowned at the phone, groaning as the messages kept coming in. He resisted the urge to keep reading the messages, huffing as he turned the volume down low to cease the ever so constant ‘ping!’

James sighed softly before picking the phone back up, turning it over in his hand a few times before huffing and placing it back in the cup holder.

From where you lived and the age of your phone, he kinda figured money was tight for you. And he has this strong and strange urge to just pay for everything for you. He was confused, that’s all he felt lately.

You were currently at home, typing in the passcode to your laptop. You were planning to contact Maddy through skype. She used her laptop at least twice a day, so you have a good chance of her responding tonight. Well, that is if her date didn’t go well and she went back home instead of to some randos house to bang the night away and then never talk to him again.

Finally the laptop is fully on, quickly you sign into your Skype, typing as fast as you could to your best friend with slightly shaky fingers. Once the message is sent you start to nervously bite at the sides of you finger nails. It didn’t take long to get a message back, and the message you got was slightly unsettling to say the least.

‘You mean you werent the one who asnwered the phone??’

You ignored her typos, she was probably drunk.

‘No I wasn’t?? Did they say anything?’

With a sigh you await her next message, moving to grab a throw blanket to wrap around your shoulders.

‘just som curzsing! It does make sense it wasn’t you tho, the voice was vrerry manly lololol’

Your brows furrowed at that, a manly voice. Of course the first person you think it could be is Bucky, would he do that? How would he have even found it? How did you even forget your phone, you had that thing on you at all times.

With a sigh you think back a few hours, trying to figure out where the phone was last at the bar. First it was in your purse, then you were playing on it, then that dude was there, then the entire deal. You had it in your hand.

You dropped it and accidentally left it on the bar floor. As much as you hoped that the bar was still holding onto your phone, praying that a kind stranger picked up the probably now shattered phone and turned it in. You know the chances were slim. It was New York after all and most people here weren’t the nicest.

So you knew the chances of getting the phone back were slim to none. But the chances of Bucky having your phone were a little better. And honestly you didn’t know which you would prefer, it be stolen and in the hands of a stranger. Or in the hands of one of the scariest mob bosses of New York who has a weird fascination with you.

You ignore the incoming spam of messages from Maddy, she was going on about her date and you just weren't in the right mindset to read her basically incoherent string of sentences. It didn’t make you a bad friend to ignore her messages, you would respond in a few minutes.

Huffing, you rub at your eyes before you let out a groan. You hadn't taken off your makeup so you had just smeared the black eyeliner. You send a quick ‘brb’ to Maddy before getting up from the seated position you had on the floor. Making your way into your bathroom, your blanket had fallen from your shoulders at some point on the way into the bathroom. Before getting there you had grabbed a set of pajamas to change into.

You wanted out of the dress and makeup that felt caked on from the hours of wear. Opening the medicine cabinet you grab out the makeup remover and the face soap.

After a few moments your face is cleared of the makeup and clean, a thin layer of moisturizer across your skin. A pair of shorts and an oversized sweater over your body. Your mood had lifted ever so slightly from just cleaning yourself up.

You shuffled back to the living room, grabbing the discarded blanket on the way. You once again threw it over your shoulders, plopping down onto the couch. Once you were seated you pulled the laptop onto your lap, eyes widening at all the messages Maddy had managed to send in ten minutes. With furrowed brows you read through her messages, having to reread a few of them being as the spelling was so off in her drunk state.

Before you could even respond, the sound of the skype incoming call interrupted your writing. You quickly answered it, and soon enough her face was popped up on the screen. Her makeup was smeared a bit and she was still clad in her red dress that you helped her pick out, gold jewelry accenting her tanned skin.

Her dark hair was pulled up into a messy bun. She was a beautiful mess.

Her lips turned up into a bright smile at the sight of you. "Have you read my messages?” She asked, she spoke quick with wide eyes. Her cheeks were slightly flushed from the alcohol taking its course in her body.

“Yes I did, I assume you had a good date?” You questioned, shifting on the couch. She let out a giggle, nodding her head. “Oh it was the best! He was so sweet and handsome.” Maddy said happily with a sigh, resting her chin in her hand. From what you could tell she was in her kitchen, leaning against her counter.

With an arched brow you slowly smirk, “Do you think there will be a second date?” You questioned her, pushing some of your hair out of your own face before you leaned to grab your glasses on the table. Once the frames were in your hold you glided them onto your face. Blinking a few times to adjust to the lenses.

Your eye doctor said you needed to wear them all the time, but you forgot to wear them. He recommended contacts but you felt like you would forget about them and leave them in your eyes. And that just didn’t sound like something fun.

Maddy rants on and on about her date happily, you try and listen but the events of the day weigh you down and cause exhaustion to make itself present. With a yawn you cover your mouth, causing Maddy to stop her ranting.

“Am I boring you?” She questions, no sign of an attitude or joke in her question. You shake your head no, moving your glasses to rub your eyes. “No, never. Just, had a long day. And I'm upset about my phone.” You brush off her question. You honestly felt bad for seeming uninterested in her date, and you aren't! You are always interested in anything she says and does, she wouldn’t be your best friend if you weren't.

She pouts softly before taking a swig of her water bottle, pushing away a few fly away hairs that seemed to slip out of her updo. “I’m sorry babe,” She mumbled out, but you only shook your head with a smile.

“Don’t worry about it, really! Now, tell me more about this date.”

business as usual tag, ( wanna be added? use the form! ) : @youlightmeupfinn @writing-for-marvel @sarahm2003 @badasseddy @l0st-in-reality @vickybelle @daddys-minty-princess @i4maybank @stillthatbetch @terry2227 @emily-roberts @bideckersdiamonddoll @cxddlyash @boofy1998 @calwitch @striving4averagegirl @stuckybarton @speedysimp @chloe-skywalker @everythingiloveandcherish

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artificialqueens · 5 years

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Not Nineteen Forever (15) (Branjie/Scyvie/Ninex)- Ortega

a/n: oh u thought the worst of the angst was over? it’s only just begun. apologies in advance hnggggggg. love is always appreciated here or over on my blog! love and hugs xxxxxxxxx

please note: this fic contains young adults often behaving in irresponsible/unadvisable ways with regards to alcohol, drugs and sex. if you are someone who feels as if they could be heavily influenced by fic and incorporate what happens in the plot into ur own life, pls steer clear!

summary: Brooke, Yvie and Nina are three flatmates who forged a friendship in their first year of university and picked up some other waifs and strays along the way. Now in their final year, there are feelings that need to be unravelled and confessions to be made whilst navigating drunk nights, hungover mornings, takeaways, group chats, library meetups, cafe gossiping, and the small matter of getting a degree.

last chapter: Scarlet helped Vanessa deal with the aftermath of the breakup, aided by lecture-skipping and the prospect of a pink-haired rebound. Monet was gearing up to ask Nina to be her girlfriend in the most elaborate of ways, and Scarlet and Yvie finally said the most important three words to each other since “let’s get takeaway”.

this chapter: it’s Valentine’s Day, Brooke is a living flip flop, and something happens that nobody saw coming.

***

“Ayo. We’ve got a mouse.”

Brooke finally got her jacket off that she’d been struggling with and faced Yvie, who was lounging on the sofa in their little living room in front of the TV. “Well isn’t that a romantic Valentine’s Day greeting.”

“Well we do,” Yvie shrugged, Brooke leaving her bag on the kitchen table and joining Yvie in front of Coronation Street. “This storyline has been going for about a year, I swear to God.”

“Should you not be out doing romantic shit with Scarlet?” Brooke asked, hearing how monotone her voice was but unable to take it back now. Yvie looked across at her and raised an eyebrow.

“She’s got uni. I’m picking her up from her flat at five, we’re going for drinks and then out to the restaurant.”

“Picking her up with what, your bare hands?” Brooke let out a small laugh, Yvie chucking a couch cushion at her and snorting.

“Shut up. I’ll get an uber. I might even get an uber exec, really push the boat out,” she quipped, Brooke laughing again. As her laughter died down, Yvie tilted her head. “So what’re your plans for tonight?”

Brooke groaned and tilted her head to the ceiling. “I’ll be fine. I’ll stick on some films, eat some chocolate. Maybe skype my parents. I’ll be fine.”

“You said that twice.”

“Well I will be.”

Yvie made a click with her tongue. “And we all know the hallmark of a person who’s fine is if they have to repeat it about twenty billion times.”

“Yvie Oddly, ladies and gentlemen, queen of exaggeration,” Brooke said sarcastically, Yvie giving a sarcastic flourish of her hand right back at her. In the conversational lull, Brooke checked her phone. All over her instagram page there were couples; disgusting, happy couples who really were just making an embarrassment of themselves with their totally cringeworthy captions. “Happy Valentine’s Day to my number one” with every heart emoji under the sun, “happy vday baby i love u” beneath a picture of someone’s boyfriend pulling a silly face, and the worst, “he’s ok”, the understated caption contrasted by the horrendously soppy picture of a couple that Brooke knew from back home kissing for the camera.

Brooke had a cheek, she supposed. She’d made her bed- breaking up with Vanessa, as difficult as it was, was supposed to make her happier and make everything go back to normal. But it hadn’t. Knowing how much she’d hurt Vanessa brought no happiness to her at all, nor did it make her life any easier. Seeing her post sad, slow R&B song after sad, slow R&B song to her instagram story didn’t alleviate her guilt, nor did her radio silence on the group chat. Brooke had seen her only once since the breakup- across the square on campus when Vanessa didn’t realise Brooke could see her, flanked by Silky and Akeria, wearing baggy clothes and not a scrap of makeup, her face and eyes puffy and red. There was nothing about Brooke that was relieved; she desperately wanted to be there for Vanessa, to dry her tears and talk shit about herself. She had the deepest desire to be a friend to her through the breakup she had been the cause of, because ultimately she still cared about her. Brooke didn’t know if that was normal or not. She was past caring or trying to figure it out.

What was she going to do tonight? Yvie was out with Scarlet, Nina was at Monet’s right that minute. Plastique had told her in the library the other day that she was going for drinks with Ariel (“the most casual of drinks”, she’d said, although Brooke knew it would be anything but casual). She didn’t know what the others would be doing. Akeria would probably drag Vanessa on a night out and Silky wouldn’t need much encouragement to go either. It looked like Brooke was in for a night by herself after all.

Mid-scroll, one of the uploads caught Brooke’s eye- a photo from months back at Vanessa’s birthday night out of all eight of them together, dressed up and smiling with their arms around each other. It was only a few seconds later that Brooke realised she was smiling at it, completely unaware that her facial expression had changed. She wished they could all go back to October. She would exchange all the hurt and the guilt and the sadness that she’d caused in exchange for pining for Vanessa for the rest of her days. Her eyes drifted down to the caption, and her stomach plummeted when she realised who it was posted by.

missvanjiemissvanjie Happy Valentine’s Day to my day ones! Best bitches I could ask for in my life. Love you!! 💓

Brooke scanned the photo again. She hadn’t been cropped out, even though she was on the edge of the photo- the curse of being tall, Nina had called it. Her heart began to spring to life. This was a good sign. Vanessa clearly didn’t hate her, and somewhere deep inside her was a want to be friends again and go back to how things used to be. Injected with optimism, Brooke clicked on Vanessa’s messages. She paused for a moment, looking back at the last ones they’d sent- the day of the breakup, Brooke asking to talk, Vanessa wondering if everything was alright. It felt like a harpoon to her stomach.

Trying to stay positive, Brooke typed out a message.

B: Hey. Hope you’re doing okay. I know we said we still wanted to try and be friends so I was wondering if you wanted to maybe hang out tonight? Just as friends obviously. Since everyone else will be busy. Let me know.

Brooke’s finger hovered over the “x”. She decided against it. Hitting send, she found herself waiting anxiously for a reply.

“How do you know we have a mouse anyway?” Brooke asked Yvie, her words suddenly registering. Yvie shrugged.

“Ran across the worktop about five minutes before you came in.”

“What the hell are we going to do about it, then? I don’t want to even imagine what Nina’s reaction’s going to be if she sees it,” Brooke shuddered.

Yvie laughed. “No, Scarlet’s going to be the same. I don’t know, she looked like a nice lil’ fucker. I think we should get a cage. Put a block of cheese in it and then keep her as a pet."

Brooke felt her phone vibrate twice. Picking it up to check it and seeing that both the messages were from Vanessa, she nonchalantly carried on the conversation. "So Scarlet would be fine with that, would she?”

“Scarlet isn’t here all the time.”

“No, just 99% of it,” Brooke raised her eyebrows, opening Vanessa’s messages.

V: lmao

V: Are you on crack. You broke my heart two weeks ago and now you’re trying to be my friend already. Have you never heard of a thing called a healing process?

Brooke felt her stomach tense. She hovered her thumbs over her screen to reply, but nothing she thought of seemed to make sense or be the slightest bit appropriate. Despondent, she was about to close her phone when another message shot through.

V: And I’m busy anyway. So it still would have been a no.

Well, that was that. Vanessa was out with Silky and Akeria, and clearly she wasn’t invited. That was fine. Brooke could have kicked herself. She instantly wished she’d never been so tone-deaf. It had been a stupid suggestion. Of course Vanessa wasn’t going to be best friends with her a fortnight after they’d broken up.

Brooke couldn’t help the fact that she missed her, though. Even just as a friend.

“Hey, panini head? Are you listening to me?” Yvie suddenly yelled, her best Gordon Ramsay impersonation catching Brooke off-guard.

“What?”

“I said, would you look after Mrs Tibbs if I went home for the weekend?”

Brooke rubbed her temples in confusion. “Who’s Mrs-”

“The mouse! Jesus, Brooke, have you been on this earth for the past five minutes?” Yvie laughed, then gradually a frown spread onto her face. “What’s wrong?”

Brooke hadn’t realised she’d been showing her guilt and disappointment on her face. She sighed. “It’s nothing. I just still feel bad. About Vanessa, you know.”

Yvie furrowed her brow. “Listen, girl, I know dumping someone is hard and it’s unpleasant. Shit, I would know, I’ve had to do it enough times. But there comes a point where you’ve got to stop beating yourself up about it. I mean you ultimately did what was best for the pair of you. It wasn’t fair to string her along if you didn’t want to be with her. It hurts her now, but it’s better in the long run.”

Brooke nodded. Part of her couldn’t help but wonder…

…it didn’t matter.

Brooke’s phone vibrated again. She hoped and prayed it wasn’t another text from Vanessa to berate her for her shitty idea. What was to come would actually make her feel a hundred times worse.

Okay Then: happy valentines day fuckers!!!!!!! even though im out being soppy tonight i still want u all to know that ur my main bitches and number ones and i love u all sm 💖💖💖

Akeria Sainsburys Bag for Life: You’re disgusting. Love you too hoe xxxxxx

Yvie’s Bitch: Awwwwwww Plastique!!!!! We love you too!!!!

Yvie’s Bitch: What’re everyone’s plans for Valentine’s Day?????

Scarlet’s Bitch: i don’t know i’ve got plans with this weird girl called……Scarface? idk i’ll probs cancel on her

Yvie’s Bitch: Suck my clit x

Akeria Sainsbury’s Bag For Life: Children PLEASE

incongruous silkworm spiced praline: HAPPY INTERNATIONAL DAY OF FUCKING

incongruous silkworm spiced praline: ME N KIKI GOING OUT ON THE TOWN LOOKING FOR THIRD DIVISION FOOTBALL PLAYERS

Okay Then: oh bitch aim high? second division xo

Brooke’s heart dropped twenty storeys when she saw who was typing. Their names on the chat had been quietly changed back, but Brooke still knew who it was.

cursed SatNav voice: Happy Valentine’s Day hoes 💓💓💓

cursed SatNav voice: Even though all you couples can suck a bag of dicks

Scarlet’s bitch: gladly, bitch 💜

Okay Then: Vanj are u not going out with Silk n Kiki?? bc if not ur welcome to join me n Ariel!! it’s just casual!!

incongruous silkworm spiced praline: YES PLASTIQUE IM SURE SHED LOVE TO THIRD WHEEL U AND UR HONEYMOON PHASE FLATMATE

Akeria Sainsbury’s Bag for Life: anna ou

cursed SatNav voice: 💓 That’s sweet but I’m busy tonight!! Thanks though boo

incongruous silkworm spiced praline: SHE GOT A DATE ANYWAY

Time seemed to freeze. Brooke couldn’t move. Couldn’t even breathe. All she was able to do was blink at her phone screen as the chat blew up around her. It was only after a few moments that she realised Yvie was looking at her.

“Hey. You okay?”

“Um. Yeah, no, I’m fine,” Brooke stammered, nodding and putting her phone down in a futile effort to seem relaxed. Yvie gave a laugh.

“Brooke, you can’t break up with her and then get mad she’s going on a date with someone else.”

Brooke bristled. “No, that’s not it, that’s not it at all.”

There was a small silence as Yvie typed away at her screen, her eyebrows raised in a defiant show of disbelief. In the silence, Brooke gathered her thoughts.

“I’m just kinda…I don’t know. Not hurt, but…I mean I thought she cared about me a bit more than to be over me in the space of two weeks.”

Yvie gave a gasp, clutching at her heart. “Oh! The fragile ego of Miss Brooke Lynn Hytes. The wings of a moth cannot compare, nor the web of a spider!”

“You know, you can be a really shit friend when you want to be,” Brooke spat, getting up without a second thought and storming through to her bedroom. She threw herself down on her bed and curled up into a small ball, wishing the world would give her a break.

Her ego was hurt. Her pride was battered and bruised. She supposed she’d been so used to being revered and cared for in the eyes of Vanessa that she found it odd for that to no longer be the case. Brooke sighed. Yvie was right- she wasn’t supposed to care this much, she was supposed to be happy. Fuck, shouldn’t this have been the ideal outcome? Vanessa had moved on already.

So why did Brooke feel absolutely gutted?

She sat on her bed in the cold of her room, stewing in her thoughts, trying to figure them out and failing. She didn’t know how long she’d been there for but it had clearly been enough time for Yvie to make a cup of tea, as Brooke found when her flatmate gave a gentle knock on her door and shuffled in with the Sports Direct mug in her hand.

“Hey,” Yvie began, crossing the room and putting the mug down on Brooke’s cluttered bedside table. She sighed and lay down on top of Brooke in what could have been a cuddle or an attempt at smothering her to death. “Brooky, I’m sorry-”

“Don’t. She used to call me that and…” Brooke began, sighing when she couldn’t figure out why she had an issue with it. “I don’t know.”

Brooke wrestled an arm free from under Yvie’s stomach and brought it to rest over her back. It felt more like a cuddle now.

“I knew she was going on a date, by the way. Scarlet told me the other day. I just didn’t think you’d give a fuck,” Yvie said quietly. Brooke exhaled and felt her ribcage deflate.

“I didn’t think I would either,” she said, feeling small. There was a pause. “What’s her name?”

“Monique. The girl from Monet’s party with the purple hair,” Yvie said. It felt like a stab through Brooke’s chest. She remembered Monique, she remembered the way Vanessa had laughed at her stories and the way Monique had looked at her and the obvious chemistry between them. “If it helps, Brooke, I don’t think it’s going to be anything serious. Scarlet said that apparently she literally gave Vanjie her number and was like ‘In case you ever want a rebound’. They’ve been messaging all week. Tonight’s more of a 'fuck Valentine’s Day’ drink than anything else.”

Brooke thought about Vanessa’s perfect body, about her touching Monique the way she used to touch Brooke, talking to her like she used to talk to Brooke, someone else making her come apart the way Brooke used to. Brooke rolled out from under Yvie, grabbed her pillow, and buried her face in it, letting out a long, loud groan.

“Do you feel like you fucked it?” Brooke heard Yvie’s voice ask matter-of-factly. Brooke brought the pillow off her face and whined.

“No! No, I made the right decision. I didn’t want to be Vanessa’s girlfriend. It’s just fucking…weird. It doesn’t exactly fill me with glee thinking of her with somebody else, you know?”

Yvie smirked. “Because you know Monique’s going to fuck her better?”

Brooke launched the pillow at her flatmate, Yvie giggling. “Sorry! Sorry! Fuck, okay, point taken. Inappropriate.”

There was a silence. Yvie’s joke still hung in the air.

“Well, as long as you feel like your decision was correct,” Yvie smiled gently, patting Brooke’s thigh. “Then that’s the main thing. And it’s natural to get a little jealous.”

“I’m not jealous.”

“Sure, Jan,” Yvie raised her eyebrows and began to slide off Brooke’s bed. “Look, I’ve got to go get ready for dinner. You sure you’ll be fine?”

“Well I said it about twenty billion times, remember?” Brooke deadpanned, earning her a laugh from Yvie. “Just go. Go have fun. Have the best night, baby. You two deserve it.”

Yvie leant down and gave Brooke one last little squeeze before leaving her bedroom and going back into her own. Now she was alone with her thoughts Brooke wanted desperately to silence them so she grabbed her laptop and shoved on the least romantic film she could think of- Kingsman. As she sipped her tea and watched a man get completely sliced in half from skull to anus, she thought that would only be slightly less painful than what her emotions were currently putting her through.

As Taron Egerton refused to kill his dog, Yvie shouted a goodbye to Brooke.

As Colin Firth went absolutely mental in a church and killed everybody single-handedly, Brooke grabbed her phone and deleted all of her messages with Vanessa.

As the end credits rolled, Brooke wondered what the fuck she’d done. Two and a half years of friendship gone and deleted in the blink of an eye. But maybe it was for the best.

Brooke had been scrolling Netflix searching for something else to watch for what could have been an entire hour when she heard four things in rapid succession- the heavy bang of the front door, a scurry of hurried footsteps across the hall, the bang of Nina’s fire door and then a rapid sobbing that poured out of whoever was in the room and through Brooke’s wall. Brooke’s previously lethargic body sprang to life and she shot off her bed, took three quick steps to her door and hurried out into the hallway where she knocked on Nina’s.

“Nina? What’s happened?”

The sobbing continued from inside, Brooke unsure if the girl had even heard anything. Hesitantly, she pushed on the door.

“I’m coming in, okay?”

With no response other than more sobbing and a snuffle, Brooke entered Nina’s room. There was her usual organised dressing table with her makeup strewn all over it, indicative of a rushed getting-ready process. On her usually tidy floor was a mess of tried-on-and-rejected clothes, and there on the Aristocats-patterned duvet curled up with her stuffed teddy was Nina, absolutely crying her eyes out. Brooke practically vaulted the end of her bed to get to her flatmate who was squashed in between her pillows and the wall in the foetal position.

“Hey, hey, hey! What’s wrong?” Brooke asked her, pulling her close and wrapping her arms around her. Nina batted her away weakly.

“Don’t, Brooke, don’t, fuck, getting held is just going to remind me of her and I don’t-” Nina descended into another burst of sobs, Brooke completely and utterly confused.

“Monet? I thought you guys were fine? Oh my God, Nina, she didn’t break up with you?!” Brooke asked, scared and trying to fight the sinking feeling taking root in her chest. Nina elegantly wiped her nose on her teddy and pressed the heels of her palms into her eyes, rubbing harshly and leaving her looking like a human panda.

“She didn’t break up with me,” Nina sniffed, finally seeming to calm down.

“Oh, thank fuck.”

“I broke up with her.”

This was at least twenty times worse than what Brooke had feared. Pulling away, she fixed Nina with a look of complete incredulity. “You did what?!”

Nina rubbed at her eyes again, this time with her fingers. “Yeah, because obviously I can’t have anything fucking half-decent in my life without completely sabotaging it or making it go to shit, can I? I broke up with her, I’m a fucking idiot. Happy?”

Brooke could only blink in response as Nina leaned back and let her head hit the pillow, her stare boring into the ceiling. Her thoughts were all colliding. This was the most sudden and unexpected event, and it had completely knocked her for six. “Rewind. I thought you and Monet were fine?”

“We were fine,” Nina sighed so deeply that Brooke wasn’t sure she would have any air left in her lungs. “I was so fucking happy, Jesus. But there’s always a catch, right? Nobody can stay that happy forever, it’s always got to come to an end at some point.”

She stopped and sat up, propping her head against the headboard. Not looking Brooke in the eye, Nina continued. “She started being really distant with me. Not replying to texts for ages, being really deep in thought when we were together. I’d ask her what was wrong, but…she’d just always say nothing was. I was over at her flat the other night, we’d had a nap together and I woke up and she wasn’t there. I went into her living room and she was there with two of her flatmates. They stopped talking the second I got in, honestly I might as well have caught them all in the middle of a massive fucking orgy,” Nina laughed humourlessly. “And then it clicked. It all started after I told Monet about you and Vanessa. Nothing bad…just about how you weren’t sure, and how it’s better to just break up with somebody if you’re having second thoughts about them. It all made sense. Her being distant, always seeming off, obviously talking to her flatmates about it and having to stop because I came in. She didn’t fucking want me anymore, Brooke.”

Shocked, Brooke could only put her arms around her friend as she leaned into her chest and began to cry again. Nothing about it seemed to fit. Monet was absolutely head over heels for Nina, anyone could have seen it. It all seemed so out of the blue and sudden. Brooke tried to think about the last time Monet had been over at the flat. It had been about a week ago and Monet had seemed fine- although, now that Brooke thought about it, Monet had seemed a little quiet. Almost nervous, Brooke considered. But she was still cuddling Nina and giving her small kisses and paying her attention. It didn’t make any sense. Brooke frowned. “Nina, are you sure she actually wanted to break up with you?”

“I wondered it too. Because I didn’t want to believe it, of course. But then yesterday we were just lying in bed doing nothing. She was on her phone and my head was on her chest. I saw what was on her screen just for a second and she’d fucking-” Nina sighed, cutting herself off. “- typed this guy’s name into Google. Obviously some guy she’s met and she’s trying to find him on social media. I actually felt like I’d been stabbed, Brooke. Obviously she saw me, because she only got as far as the first name and then closed her phone. But I know what I saw, you know?”

Brooke’s frown only got deeper. “But that makes no sense. Why would she look someone up on Google, what is this, the fucking 90’s?”

“Brooke, you weren’t there. You should have seen how quickly she shut her phone off, and she was instantly all over me and telling me how lucky she was and-” Nina’s speech was interrupted by a bubble of a sob. “Oh fuck, it hurt so much. And today she woke up with me and was all "Happy Valentine’s Day!” and all that shit. I couldn’t do it, Brooke. I couldn’t make myself look like an idiot any longer. I suggested going for coffee and while we were out I just…I just fucking did it. Oh my God, it was so so bad, Brooke. She looked so fucking destroyed and she was so pissed off with me that I thought it was all a mistake but…fuck, I didn’t know what to believe. I don’t know. I don’t even know what I’ve done.“

Brooke sighed, desperately not wanting to believe it was over between the two girls. "But didn’t she explain herself? I mean what did you actually say to her? Did you confront her?”

“Jesus, no! No, I didn’t want to make it look like I was this poor, lovesick, pining idiot who was making a fool of herself over her! I jumped before I was pushed. I pretended I was the one whose feelings had changed, that it wasn’t working for me anymore. It was all a crock of shit, but she obviously believed it.”

Brooke bit the skin at the side of her thumb. There was a silence. “But didn’t she try to make you stay? Didn’t she fight for you?”

“She-” Nina cut herself off. Brooke looked down and saw tears pouring down her face, and her heart broke. “- she just sat and looked at me. Something in her eyes just…shut down. They just went all glassy, like those black marbles you got as a kid, remember? Anyway I said my piece and she just…ugh, she just nodded. She just nodded and went "Right. Got it.” in the most cold voice and then she got up, put on her coat and left. And I let her.“

With that, Nina swept her hands under her eyes and heaved a gut-wrenching shudder of a sigh. Brooke was at a loss of what to say. She had thought Nina and Monet were made for each other, and the fact that Nina had thrown it away for the sake of what Brooke was sure had to be a misunderstanding was gutting. She heaved a similar sigh to Nina’s.

"Look at us. It’s Valentine’s Day, we’re both single, we’re both here regretting breaking up with someone-”

“Wait what?” Nina asked suddenly, eyeing Brooke with suspicion. It was only then that Brooke had realised what she’d said. Startled, she backtracked.

“Well, I mean, not regretting breaking up with her, just regretting causing her hurt,” she said, Nina nodding quietly. Although Brooke was still spooked. Why had that thought popped into her head, let alone out of her mouth? She didn’t regret breaking up with Vanessa. It was the ick, just like Plastique had said. She had changed her mind. She couldn’t exactly change it back.

Could she?

“Why don’t we watch a film? I’ll bring my laptop through, get snacks from the kitchen. You don’t even need to move from this room. Or this bed,” Brooke suggested, ignoring the dangerous thoughts swirling round her mind. Nina gave a sniff and a silent nod.

“21 Jump Street?” she offered hopefully, Brooke unable to help the small laugh that escaped her mouth at the suggestion.

“This from the queen of Disney?”

“Disney’s too happy for me right now,” Nina moped, wiggling underneath her duvet cover. Brooke screwed up her face.

“Too happy? C’mon, you’ve seen Bambi. And Lion King. And Big Hero 6. And-”

“Brooke I swear to God if you don’t go get your laptop and stick on 21 Jump Street,” Nina warned, not finishing the empty threat. Laughing, Brooke did as she was told. She could only hope that the film would be enough of a distraction to her and to Nina for the next two hours.

She had no idea what they’d do once those two hours were up.

71 notes · View notes

dreamgloe · 5 years

Note

22 with seokjinie please? 💗💗

prompt: long distance / 22 (this prompt list here)

words: 2.68K

warnings: fluff, tears, light implied sexual content

notes: lord i literally wrote most of this today and i’m s o f t for one kim seokjin who’s idea of a romantic date is eating his weight in black pork with his girlfriend and being cheesy af. also i tried to edit so excuse any slipped mistakes.

tags: @sjtual (hope you love bebe xoxo)

“I’m so, so sorry, babe,” you heard your boyfriend say through your earbuds. His image on screen was a little grainy with your horrible wi-fi connection and old MacBook Pro.

“It’s fine, Seokjin. You don’t have to keep apologizing. I get it,” you said smiling, trying your best to assure your boyfriend that you are indeed ‘fine.’ It wasn’t his fault schedule changed at the last minute. Of course, you were still sad that you couldn’t spend one of the designated days of the year to be a complete, hopelessly romantic idiot with the man that you loved.

“But seriously, honey, I’m sorry we have to spend Valentine’s Day over skype. We were supposed to head down to Jeju tomorrow… All that black pork…uneaten,” he said, looking away and clutching his heart. You couldn’t help but laugh with your whole body. He always knew how to make you smile.

“Another time,” you said despite the fact that you were really looking forward to spending some time alone with Seokjin. The last thing wanted was for him to feel sad.

“You have the food, right?” he asked. Yes, you had the food….when you texted him that it had arrived. He ordered from your favorite restaurant down the street and had it delivered. You picked up the takeout bag from the ground and put it on the table in front of you so that Seokjin could see.

He picked up his bag, the emblem being that of your absolute favorite restaurant in Seoul, one that you’d often go to together. It made you smile and you really felt that even though the two of you were separated, that the two of you were close. You had made the trip up to Seoul a few weeks ago when he had a small break in his schedule but the two of you spent most of the time either at the dorm or in his apartment. It wasn’t as though he spent a lot of time in the villa he purchased for himself when you weren’t around but he claimed it was nice to have for “alone time.” It was sparsely decorated but homey and great for when you wanted peace and quiet with Seokjin. However, you had always been more than welcome at the dorm, the kids always vying for your attention.

“Noona, did you see that kill?” Jungkook would shout over his shoulder while playing Overwatch. Taehyung and him then argue about who was actually ahead.

You could tell from the background that Jin had made his way over to his own place for privacy because in the dorms he still shared a room with Yoongi.

“It’s like we eating together,” he said earnestly, starting to unbag everything. He had obviously had been hankering for pork, the container you pulled out of your bag…well, you’d have leftovers for a few days. “This is so much pork, Seokjin,” you said, “How am I supposed to eat all of it?”

He looked mildly offended. “No lady of mine backs down from pork. She takes the challenge head on and wins,” he said, with a look of seriousness that you couldn’t help but burst out laughing at. He was always cooking for you and making sure that you were eating enough. It was never usually a problem because you loved to eat. You’d sometimes tease him, saying “Yes, halmeoni, I’ll eat more.” He’d huff a little to continue the joke but you were certain there was a little pride in there too.

“So how is everyone?” you ask, “Staying out of trouble?” You opened the container, grabbed your metal chopsticks and quickly dipped the pork into the soy bean paste before shoving a whole piece into your mouth. You groaned a little. “So good. How’s yours?”

Seokjin was in the middle of digging in as well and his smile beamed brightly the moment he took a bite out of his. “Everyone’s fine but wish you were here to eat it with me,” he said, with his mouthful, “Our favorite.” The two of you fell into your comfortable conversation of his and your work. He asked you about your job at the TV station and you asked him about any down time he had on tour and if he got to have any good food. One of your favorite conversation topics just happened to be food.

“Cheers,” he shouted, holding up his wine class to the screen. You reached over to grab yours to the same. It wouldn’t be dinner with Seokjin without something to drink.

One of the best things about your relationship, you thought, was your ability to talk about practically nothing but still have a good time. The two of you loved to roam around and see sights, even close to home, in addition to eating your way through cities. It was only a matter of time before you felt the food baby form. Leaning back in your chair, you put your hands on your full stomach and sighed heavily.

“Me too,” your boyfriend responded, already knowing without you haven’t to say anything verbally. “Ugh, I wish you were here. I wish I was there,” he said, pouting. Your heart melted at the sight because even through skype, your boyfriend had an irresistible pout.

“I promise I’ll make plans to come up soon,” you say earnestly, “Whenever you want, whenever I can.” Part of you wants to cry. While you were hellbent on acting like everything was fine, you really missed him sometimes. Moving away to Busan had been a hard choice but Seokjin encouraged you, knowing that it would be good for your career. You didn’t plan on staying for too long, using Busan as a way to bolster your goal to be a full-fledged on-air producer.

You felt yourself moving your face even closer to the camera in your laptop, as if that would bring you closer to him. He did the same, leaning in closer to the camera, kissing the air at you and causing you to giggle.

“Don’t worry, honey,” he said, waving it off, “We’ll make your next visit work out no matter what,” he said, “Don’t stress.” He said this while waiting his arounds like he was stressed. You felt a few tears prickle at your eyes, hoping they wouldn’t show up on the poor visual connection of your skype.

“Sorry, you have to deal with my schedules all the time,” he said, pausing before chucking, “Don’t know how you put up with me…it’s just for my looks, isn’t it?” He said, the mock offense all over his face.

You laughed so hard that a few tears ended up falling. “Yeah, I’m only dating you for your looks, Worldwide Handsome,” you said, a hit of a scoff in your voice. He winked at you, his upturned lips opening to show his pearly smile. With the slightest gesture, he could make you feel like an idiot crushing school girl all over again.

Feeling your cheeks heat up a little, you shifted back to the topic at hand, “If I deal with your schedule, I get to put up with you,” you said, the biggest smile on your face and your voice starting to crack, “I consider myself very lucky.” The thought didn’t help the verge of your tears and finally, you had to do something about them. You tried to pull it off as stray eyelashes but your boyfriend knew better. As goofy as he was, he was incredible gentle and often claimed that for you…he was a complete mush.

“Babe,” he cooed through the laptop screen. You put your hand up to stop him, dropping it to cover your face. You hated him seeing you like this. Making him feel bad was the last thing you wanted to do. He couldn’t help his schedule and you never wanted to ask more of himself than he could give at the moment. But he was a wonderful boyfriend. He called, texted, and sent funny jokes, memes, and emojis enough for the two of you. You were just happy to have him in your life and that he loved you too. Maybe you really were a sappy, romantic, Happy Valentine’s Day, gushy-gushy, flowers-and-chocolates, stuffed animals as big as the room kind-of person.

Kim Seokjin could do that to a girl.

“I hate worrying you,” you said, “I’m fine. I just miss you and…I’m glad I have you in my life.” At this point, you stopped trying to stop the tears. They prickled gently at your cheeks and you smiled at him, trying to convey that you missed him but you were indeed fine.

“I love you, honey,” he said heavily, no ounce of of a joke on his lips or in his eyes. The two of you sit in a comfortable silence for a few moments before Jin did what he does best.

He lightens the mood.

“Go get the box from the fridge,” he says, clapping his hands together, an eager smile on his face. He had you pick up a box from your favorite bakery. “Doing a lot of my own Valentine’s Day errands, aren’t I?” you asked, cocking your eyebrow.

“Just go and get the box,” he whined. You sigh with a smile and get up to do as he says. Taking the medium-sized box out, you brought it over to your set up. Placing it down in front so Seokjin could see, you give him a pointed look.

“You got the card I sent you?” you ask and he immediately holds in front of him so you can see…shaking it for the camera. You sent him a card a few days and told him to hold onto it since you knew you weren’t going to get to spend the day together. You promised one another not to get anything too crazy. A cake and a card with a romantic–and maybe slightly sexy–coupon book seemed reasonable.

“1, 2,…open!” your boyfriend exclaimed. On “open,” you opened the lid to what you assumed as a cake. It was and it was the cutest color of baby pink and you knew from the sprinkles that it was your favorite. In hot pink lettering, it said, “Wish I was there. Xoxo Jin.” The classic funfetti flavor from your favorite bakery in Seoul, which just opened a storefront in Busan, not far from your office. You had picked it up one the way home from work, per Seokjin’s request.

“Seokjinie…” you said, your eyes big and your tears threatening to fall again. He opened yours, pulling out the stapled booklet you had made him. Each page was handmade and customized. He held it up too, laughing with his whole face, like he always does.

“Don’t spend it all in one place, honey,” you said, chuckling and wiping away your tears.

“Too late,” he said with a mischievous wink. He flipped through and started to list a few. “Hmmm….one back massage….one spa or hot springs date…one ice cream date…one…..Y/N…you dirty girl….” You felt your face heat up. You never felt particularly risque or sexy by yourself but your boyfriend had a knack for bringing out all your facets.

“I will for sure be splurging,” he said, holding the book to his chest for a moment before gingerly placing it on the table next to him. It was easy just to stare at him through the screen but it was even easier to wish you were looking at the real thing, touching the real thing. You’d give anything to grab his cheeks and kiss him breathless. You also wish that you could talk into the wee hours. However, it was getting close to midnight and according to the schedule he sent you, he had an early start tomorrow.

“I don’t want to cut our date short, sweetheart, but you have a 7:00 AM call time tomorrow…” you said, a frown for sure on your face. His face mirrored yours and he nodded solemnly.

“I love youuuuu,” he whined, leaning the side of his face into his hand.

“I love you too,” you said, “Call me tomorrow when you are on break.” You blow him a kiss and he one ups you with a ‘flying kiss.’ You giggled because your boyfriend was cutest and he knew it.

“Will do,” he said with a small wave. You were the one to disconnect the call because you knew if you didn’t do it then, it would happen. Just sitting there, staring at him is almost enough for you.

The rest of the night was slow moving, but Jin texted you a few times before he fell asleep. And with an emoji depicting a sleeping RJ with hearts, you knew he was done for the night. You texted him a few emojis before crawling into your bed and eventually falling asleep.

It felt like only a few hours that you had been asleep when you heard a knock at your door. You looked at your phone, it was 8:00 AM. Wow, that was some food baby, you thought to yourself. You pulled on some sweatpants because it was cold out and made your way to the front door. You couldn’t see anything through your door camera so when you opened the door to see your boyfriend standing there, huffing and puffing, you were startled.

“Jin…” you trailed off. What? How was he here?

He quickly pulled the coupon book out of his pocket. “I’ve come here to collect,” he said, that big stupid grin on his face.

“First of all, what are you doing here? Second of all, calm down and come inside.” You opened the door to let him in and he didn’t even bother to take his shoes off.

“My…schedule was cancelled early this morning so I hopped…on to the first train to Busan,” he said, doing the best he could catch his breath. You saw two suitcases in his hands.

“What in the hell, Seokjin!!!” you said, not being able to believe him.

“Kiss first, please. Anger later,” he said, still out of breath and a little needy. You sigh with a ‘fine’ and grab him by the collar of his coat, planting a firm kiss to his lips. God, you missed that. You gave him a second, softer one for good measure. After pulling away, your face was back to its previous state.

“You should have called,” you said.

“I wanted it to be a surprise…” he said, “I felt so bad about before—” You stopped him in his words with another kiss. This time, you wrapped your arms around his neck, letting yourself sink into the feeling of being in front of him again.

“You are too sweet for my heart to handle,” you said against his mouth, not bearing the idea of pulling away from him.

“I would love to stay here and keep you here to myself all day but we have a ferry to catch in an hour….I never cancelled our plans.” he said. You groaned and he gingerly hands you one of the suitcases. “For you?” he said slash asked. You took the suitcase and dragged him by his hand to your room. On the way, you gave him a few orders. Five pairs of socks, five bras, five pairs of underwear. While you honestly didn’t trust him doing any of your packing, you’d rather him pack the skimpiest underwear you have instead of anything you’d actually be wearing out in public.

The two of you managed to get a bag packed and were out the door in less than 30 minutes.

“Jin?”

“What?” he said from in front of you.

“Don’t forget this,” you said, grabbing the coupon book he left on the small ledge by your door. You held it out to him and he took it but not before giving you another kiss.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, honey.”

“Happy Valentine’s Day.”

And with that, the two of you were off.

167 notes · View notes

xz017 · 5 years

Text

oof. okay so imma do the latest tea???

got out of shower to hear my mum talkin to Agnes spillin the tea abt their friend/coworker

the one with that Kid my mum wanted to have a playdate with or whatever the annoyingly studious and clearskinned halfasian lookin girl i really envied.

her mum has a live in boyfriend who is basically like...an alcoholic mental case rip god i hate alcohol and i hate people who drink it like i only do it so i hate myself more and die but like this guy basically playin with knives n guns in the house and the kid who is like 19 idk why im callin her kid is so Over it like apparently she hasn’t been coming home and like

basically me in 2016 era when my mum was too generous n Helpful lettin ppl back into our lives and our House so i spent christmas morning 5am walkin in the cold n watchin 3 films until it got dark and stuff like that

girl be actin homeless---mood

so it came to a head today so Agnes is spillin the tea n her husband in the bg(omg it weird hearin him rip he was my military hs instructor wild) n my mUM is so selfrighteous n mad like

‘blablahblah well rosalie is being dumb she should put her daughter first she being sick in the head it her Choice’

n im like eavesdroppin havin warflashbacks of the dumb hypocrisy she has DOne lmao

‘has she no thought like what if Tyler gets raped/sexually abused by that man she’d let her daughter be in that environment???’

i mean it wouldnt be fair of me to be like...eyemoji on this cos she technically doesn’t know? but 19 may 2018 never4get lmao

anyway so my mum’s like our room is for rent and it’ll be far cheaper they dont even have to pay rn!!!

cue me being like...um...Money...generosity...i dont...LIke

i was conflicted here like idk i met the girl like 3-5 times im envious of her work ethic n her better asian disposition than mine cos she obviously prettier but she has better prospects and that’d suck if her life be like that

but also??? like...life be like that it was like that to me like who saved me?????????????????????

um...no one

like why is that on me or US TO BE NICE n helpful im so tired like damn which is relevant to the next point anyway

cos earlier had a convo with my mum i was eyemojing healthcare profs i was like ‘pls stop bein on ye phone pls tell me info on ye opinion on respiratory therapists...what abt PA’

n deadass she be eyemojing me like STICK TO YOUR COURSE

n i was like...-ugly pleadin emoji eyes- n i was tryin to explain that i didn’t want to be so focused on one thing that if i decide this medical thing is what i want to pursue i’d need 1-2 years just for the PREREQS which is like 5 classes and 1000 clinical hours or minimum 6 month healthcare paid job. like if i decide i want to go to school for that i already have the Stuff and just Apply.

n she was like...you had your chance i bothered you to be a nurse a few years ago you were stubborn if you did as i said you’d be earning good money now but you wasted time

n i was like...oof i can’t say anything to that it’s tru. it real life tea it fax i wasted time n im old n im ruunnin out of time i hate myself alot i hate hate hate

and idk we got to talkin abt money n life cos she was like you have to find something you can learn to LOve

n i was like??? WHY I GOTTA SETTLE N FOOL MYSELF TO DO SO im super annoyed abt that mindset

cos the thing about a bloody Arts degree is there’s too fuckin many broad possibilities n they all aint even that good. like deadass if i was a STEM major ugh like if i was a Bio major prospects are so clear: forensics, research, premed,labtech. Meanwhile polsci for example: uhhh teacher? prelaw? politician? uhhh government work? n there’s like 111 different subdivisions of that n it’s like??? wat the fuck

deadass what am i gonna do with international security is that even gonna pay well like...the fuck do i know is it relevant ??? Doubts

n she was all like...PEOPLE JUST GOTTA DO WHAT THEY HAVE TO TO SURVIVE YOU GOTTA FIND YOURS N STICK WITH IT

n i was lowkey panique n frustrated cos i really REALLY hate being stuck in 1 ting n im like i HAD ACTING YOU SAID NO

n she was like pFF i wanted you to have something REAL cos if you dont make it in acting you’d be on the STREETS

n i was like...lmao lil did she know imma be on the streets next year smh this year actually

n she was like talkin abt the harsh reality of the workforce and how you gotta make do at how ppl treat you (patients) n how you might not even like your coworkers but you gotta deal with it because that’s what ppl do to survive

n she was talkin abt undeserving patients with no healthcare n i was like did you just hear yourself so you want them to die cos they dont got money and she was like

no??? why get hooked up in the ICU when you’re braindead wasting government money taxes we payed for you don’t understand cos you dont have a job and dont get your salary cut cos of taxes and these people come in acting like they got something to give when they yell at your face acting like they know what they’re talking about they act entitled when they have nothing homeless ppl getting money and illegal immigrants are selfish bringing their kids to be hurt here

n im like...theyre life is ...shitty what are you talkin about n she was like so? why dont they stay and make it better??? one of my very first patients asked me why i was in america and i said i come from a poor country and they said why didn’t you stay and try to make it better? and i couldn’t say anything cos u know what they were right why dont illegal immigrants do that??? n im like...

cos theyre literally...RUNNIN and they want ppl they care abt i.e. children to be far away from that as soon as possible bruh ye think imma wait for change deadass there a reason why we suffer duterte he actually get shit done??? we dont have to wait for change the same way ppl who speak nice n are polite do but is stuck with bureaucracy and lowkey bein corrupt deadass stay in ye lane

n she’s like well i hope you’re right im done bein an idealist im a realist now i believed in good i wanted to help the world now no more

n im like...no you’re not a realist, you’ve just been hangin out with a republican

and she gave me a sideeye

but deadass im ...scared like i really hate the empathy because when she was being serious n talkin n being honest abt things for once i started to unwillingly see things from her point of view i really felt it n i was scared i’ll be like that im scared she’s right

im scared i’ll end up Real n selfish like...i already am ? n bitter? like i care about so very few Personally and am willin to let others suffer to keep it safe n prioritised?

im scared.

like especially with racism all these years my mum’s been telling me it’s not that im racist just wait til you work with them they act so entitles and loud and make everything about race

n i almost told Her abt it earlier i skyped w her earlier we had a tea spillin moment about our ethnic relations bein racist but then idk we talked alot i guess the text got buried or unseen

like i said i was scared n didn’t get to unpack it like im scared because ive been livin with my roomate and like...ive been excusing it as a personality thing and that if it were anyone else different skin colour id still hate them just the same which i still maintain is true but like?

my RM is loud n she makes everything abt race like deadass me n my FM be just eating dinner and she passes by us and goes on a rant about harvard asians being a Blok to black ppl from getting There n im like...im tryna have dinner so i can get energy to deal with this stressful ass school

n she always talks like she knows what she’s talking about like ‘jewish ppl control the federal bank’ n im like...it 1am in the dark quiet of our shared room deadass i dont wanna tell the binch thats antisemitism cos she gonna be like im black how can i be racist smh

im!!! scared alright like i hate my roomate for proving my mum right when i try so hard to set things right like maybe that’s why i dont tell anyone about my situation other than Her. i never told my parents about the berkeley livin situation they already warn me enough to be careful n i just keep tellin them thats racist

i have so much........THOUGHTS n........DILEMMAS...n FEARS but like i just have this blog i cant trust anyone else to talk abt it n the only person i am willing to talk to abt it will be busy and im so ashamed abt these things but she was so sweet about givin me the heads up about her schedule

like i hated that i had to get an ugly ass haircut today cos she came back to me n we couldve talked so i guess rip she was complacent n did stuff cos she replied late from then on like that dumbass haircut was 15 minutes ugh. our talkin pattern today was like...dashed lines timereply wise? i asked her if she packed earlier (pre haircut)n she said yes but rip a few hours later she was like...I need to pack

wat is the truth rip

the tablet bein emo like...mood but my child rip.

my love be packin n spendin time with fam before leavin for london tomorrow

n even after that she doin...Stuff. rip.

which is ye know good for her rip.

i just hope she dont go iceskatin deadass one slip n she can crack her head open or break her neck or paralyse her spine like...??? why do humans wanna do dumb activities

like omg she admitted to me today she a serial jaywalker and WORSE with music n headphones like

binch thats why i didnt wanna enable you further by gettin ye airpods deadass bye

n she was like??? tryna equate it with my risky risk like ummm

mine is for science n validity

hers is just carelessness n chosin lazy convenience over idk...the responsibility of self vigilance like...

bruh ppl shouldnt promise someone 91 years if they be continuin to do dumb stuff consciously oof rip

but other than that like...im...really proud of this resolution she be undertakin officially on the 14th?

im nervous abt it cos i really want it for her too. i want her to get the proper sleep n i always hated her givin excuses like ‘IM FINE ON 4 HOURS OF SLEEP’ ‘I NAPPED 3 HOURS 38293820 HOURS AGO IM FINE I MADE UP FOR IT’ um...blokt. get proper sleep binch i love you tf???

prioritise work cos ye gonna regret not givin it yer all??? n ye payin for this???

what fun??? we capitalists now we want that money rip.

i see that shift you know rip i saw it comin a year ago.

that dont mean we republicans rip we still care about others n the inequality? but like i foresaw us getting acquainted with the harsh reality of the world n how difficult it is to get a job--which she experienced along the way.

n rip she wants many things bookmarkin them n honestly same rip

i want a stable warm home for this family n a shiny diamond to get disassociated by extra im a simple man

meanin im selfish n im ready to prioritise meanin im ready to make the choice for others to fall apart/behind if it means puttin This first rip

god pls dont make me a republican this so ugly

# 1 she’d hate me #2 i’d hate me

now im sad

im dead.

omg rip earlier too as she said goodbye i told her i loved her and she was like ‘i love you more’

DEADASS I WAS LIKE LMAO!!! girL i dont think you understand im literally Ready to put you and our possible future First like...im not messin around what skitrips with rich ppl what friends my love is potent n extreme n COncentrated like im sorry ik you feel love for me but you cant top This rip she not ready

like the um ‘partially wanna make my life’s work abt knowin what might hurt n kill ye so i can kill it first or blok it well’ kinda love

the ‘im already savin for at least HALF a first month deposit in an overpriced london in case you wanna settle down wit me Mayhaps n im not touching it for ANYTHING’ kinda love

the ‘im thinking of a winter home in the tropics so you suffer less n im plannin the floorplans already rip just in case’ kinda extraness

but anyways the gall of this cute lovely human rip ‘i love you more’ ummm try Again smh

bruh i love her too much i bet that’s scary for her rip it might be a Burden tbh she so young rip

meanwhile im old n ready to rot but like...

i wanna be mortal wit ye before i do

but ye know wat lads i saw myself in the mirror today like 5 times OOF. this meatform...keepin me...Humble.

bitter but like...humble

‘like of course sHe not ready not only is my personality like dis but also...my outward form how could she introduce me as a Spouse’

‘wow i look like that oof it good i remembered i am undeservin of full intense love like in the films n fanfiction they always between attractive ppl after all it only 1/2 it not Equal’

‘wow bruh ye really upset she spendin time n resources elsewhere when you be lookin like That? ye dont have much to offer bro take the L’

oof so that’s the personal tea i can think of?

had a meghan marke talk rip i can’t believe i was right??? i had twin vibes!!! but i was hoping for like a variety situation rip im worried a lil abt the whole birthin Late ting but she can afford the highest care rip it fine she rich.

my love was talkin abt how pretty MM was n i was like rip is she triggerin Her a lil rip worrirooni

rip speakin of babies like she was showin me this smol gummybear n im like same das me heart n she was like :( n i was like it only fits you

n she was like so no children then:(

n i was like!!! rip if it Ours of course that Counts n i was a lil shook like rip she said she didn’t want them Really so i always get guilty when i talk abt the future or realise i mentioned kids or carelessly name drop Hyaline n Benzion like...im dead rn just typin that like what if she read this big shame bro

but ye know what this is already long n she gonna be busy maybe that’s the key. TOo Much puts ppl OFF so ye mayhaps we sneaky ! ?

anyway i was tryin to get her thoughts on it rip but like she was all iDK ASK ME IN 13 Yrs n i was like...

sighemoji + sandemoji + resignedemoji

rip we talked FAaC a lil. cos she Dared!!! to liken me to her brother just cos i showed her my cheap youth boy shoes smh

At first i was super offended n disgusted but then i was like rip eyemoji if ye into that

then she was like ew nO

then i was like um ye already play the ‘daddy u like me young huh’ card

which is like idk is like technically? joking but it’s like that post ye know abt ppl bein ‘whether or not im actually jokin or flirtin depends if you into it’ but also like schrodingers racism like ‘it was a joke bro!!!’ but they actually bigots.

so it DIFFICULT for my brain to Confirm rip like...eyemoji what is the truth

but like??? im rip. willin. rip. to. rip. Try. rip.?

really i am rip. it Her. bruh. im only hopin she dont have a golden shower kink but. trust i...Will follow thru.

nO IM REMEMBERIN THE DOO DOO POST DESPAIR

rip anyway that whole thing reminded me of FAaC origins which was porn n then somehow sHe was like imagine if egggsy was a singer he’d sing like ‘age is just a number’ shit n i SPILLED THE TEA ABOUT A TING IN PT 3 im so weak sand

i miss the gays

i wanna give them justice n happiness but the 2027 excuse is rl nice for my ugly procrastination issues oof but i wish them well

add: rip had another talk with my mum i really wanted her to understand my thought process about wanting to get the prereqs for medtraining done beforehand

n she was like...I UNderstand but Normal people--

n i was like ‘IM NOT NORMAL I DONT KNOW HOW TO CHOOSE I HAVE NO IDENTITY’

n she’s just like SHOOKE n mad n clearly dont understand that im fukt up in the head ‘...IC AN’T BELIEVE YOU!!! iF YOU’RE ABNORMAL YOU WONT GET HIRED N YOU WONT HAVE A NICE JOB’

n im like...well i mean what can i say to that it’s not like it’s not tru rip

Big sand honestly.

it gonna be a long few days imma do my best to leave her alone she needs her time rip i love her so much rip sand

i feel like a dumb ugly dog god fljækadfkøad h8

#personal tea #read more only #entry

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mini-pretzel · 5 years

Note

alright dude yea EVERY NUMBER FOR SWEETHEART ASKS

… what have i signed up for?

//cracks knuckles

grab a juice box, grab a snack.

we’ll be here for a while. what have i gotten myself into

1. Talk about your first love.

oh jesus. i actually recently found my old journal lol

from way back when. 2009 i think? i was 13 or some shit. jesus. ok. so my first love was actually over the internet.

yeah, i know. nowadays we’re spoiled with tinder n shit, but back in 2009, all we had was myspace and msn and i met this fucker on skype.

i was so ahead of my time.

anyway, it was october 25, 2009.

here’s a snippet from my journal entry:

well i met a guy on skype. he’s a month younger cause my b-day is on oct 14 and his is on nov 18. but i don’t mind it.

yoooo i was into younger guys even at 13, jfc hahhaa //kill me jk hmu

and then on the next page hahahhaa omg

december 2, 2009

well me and ___ are no longer together. well we never began. he broke my heart two times already. going in depression. please don’t bother. first love, ha!

omfg damn, two months. yeah, that lasted long. also old me: ur so dramatic lol

also i was a feisty lil fella, jeez.

2. What’s the most beautiful songs you’ve ever heard in your opinion?

this one

3. How’s your heart feeling right now?

a lil stressed. im like, hoping i can get through all of these questions without my computer crashing. pray 4 me.

4. What kind of self care is your favorite to do?

ok, first thing to note, i fucking love self care. like, too much if im honest.

baths with bubbles and nice smelling scents, lotions, a face mask, taking my time with washing my face and hair and putting on the cutest clothes after. also snacks, always snacks.

when im feeling like spending money: massage. full body. best thing ever. i treat myself to it at least once a year for my b-day.

5. What’s your skincare routine?

ok so i just got a new skincare line. it’s from nature republic. i have a cleanser, a toner and a moisturizer. it’s fairly simple (unlike 9 steps in korean ahhahha, but like i’ll probably get there in time) also i have a peel mask that smells like bananas that i put on twice a week to get rid of dead skin cells. oh and sometimes i do korean face masks, too.

6. How did you get to be so beautiful?

answered that q here

7. Do you have any stuffed animals?

NO! //hides them all away

8. Best trip you’ve ever been on?

thailand. my parents took me w/ them on their honeymoon.

lol idek why either. trust me.

i was just there for the swimming, riding elephants, getting food poisoning and downing two banana splits in one afternoon. good times.

9. Favorite thing about your room?

i live in a jungle. but also in an art gallery cause my mom buys paintings online and resells them, but it’s become such a habit for her they are literally EVERYWHEREE I CANNOT.

also sorry mom i keep forgetting to water the GAZILLION plants THAT YOU HAVE MOVED INTO MY ROOM FOR SOME REASON. they’ll be dead by the time ur home. srry ilyyyyy.

also tae hmu if u want some paintings. i got way too many.

10. Opinion on love?

dude. idk. i mean. it’s definitely not something one can describe easily or fully grasp.

im still waiting for my big love to come along, so like, we can talk about that when we get there.

otherwise, i’ll say this quote that i heard in a song:

give your heart, but keep your head.

11. Are you affectionate?

with certain people. im weird.

with some people im like no, don’t touch me pls. i bite and scratch.

and with others you cannot get them out of my death love grip.

12. Who do you look up to?

i look up to bts a lot. they’re doing a lot of good and they’re very respectable artists.

but i also look up to a lot of writers on here because i want to create worlds and writings like them. i won’t tag them cause rip them trying to find why i tagged them in this long ass post haha.

13. Favorite poet?

@psycho-slytherin

lol sorry bae

ur gonna have to scroll to find out why i tagged u. and then go red and yell at me. hahah.

i also like silentium! by Fyodor Tyutchev

also everything by pushkin (esp ‘i loved you’ fuck that one gets me every time). seriously. that man isn’t called the golden poet in our country for nothing.

i actually don’t read a lot of poetry nowadays unless its my own or my friends’

but im open to recommendations

14. Song that makes you happy? How about one that calms you down when you’re in a bad place?

answered here!

15. Do you play an instrument?

lol no. i was almost taught the piano (lol rip me, i wanna kill my younger lazy ass self) and i dabbled into learning the violin. but that’s like a whole story and a half hahahaha.

16. Do you do art? Using what (pencil, watercolor, etc)?

i used to pencil draw, nothing special tho. a lot of naked ppl lol. butts n boobs were my fave. also pecks whoo.

17. Do you dance? What style of dance?

i don’t! but i want to. i’ve been looking into dancing schools. i might do hip hop n stuff. see if i have the rhythm, i can’t tell from just jumping around my room lol

18. What’s your zodiac sign? Do you believe in astrology?

im a libra yo. diplomatic and indecisive af.

i kinda do? there’s some sense there, but it’s too vague. i think ppl need to look into their charts to really grasp their character.

and for some it may not be true at all, so like. idk. we’re all just doing our best here.

19. Favorite old film?

a russian film that i always watch over the new year. my mom would always joke that the new year doesn’t start till we watch it lol

the irony of fate

20. What’s your hairstyle?

idk

tell

21. What weather is the most beautiful, in your opinion?

cloudy but warm. so there’s not too much sun but u can enjoy a nice walk outside without getting rained on.

22. What upsets you most about the world?

i only have two hands but there are so many cats and dogs. i cannot pet all of them.

23. Are you in love right now?

answered ;)

24. Do you have a crush? If so, talk about them!

here u go

25. Do you have pets? Talk about something sweet about them!

i don’t! but i wish i did i would shower them with my love.

but @the-trth-untold dogs are the cutest and @psycho-slytherin cats make my day. pls spam meeeee. also i love @paristae cat too.

26. Do you have a lucky number?

yup. 22.

27. Have you ever wished on a star? What about on a fallen eyelash?

i’ve never seen a fallen star, so no.

but i’ve wished on a fallen eyelash, always.

28. Do you believe emoji spells to work?

emoji spells??

bruh i’ve never even heard of it till this ask wtf is that shit

bruh i mean if it works for ppl all power to them??? idk i never tried it

29. Do you believe in magic in general?

i believe in magic tricks. but magic died for me when santa stopped existing.

30. What’s the most beautiful thing in life, In your opinion?

here

31. Opinion on the color pink? What about baby blue?

gorgeous colors. i quite like mauve pink and deep dark blue tho.

but baby blue looks amazing on some folks. oof.

32. What instrumental sound is your favorite?

piano. always.

33. Do you like the sound of wind? What about the sound of rain?

answered :)

34. Who makes you happy?

bts and all of my mutuals

35. What makes you happy?

sleep, food, music, writing, cuddles. and forehead kisses.

also more listed here

36. Imagine your ideal life, the life you wish to make, what will that look like?

i live in a nice apartment. doesn’t have to be expensive, just nice and clean with wooden floors and spacious windows.

i have all the necessities that i need and im never lonely.

i have also touched countless hearts by my books and am able to live comfortably just from my works.

haha. you said ideal, right?

also have someone to spend it with. someone i’d write poetry about daily. a bestfriend first and foremost before a lover.

37. Do you wear makeup? If so what’s your favorite type of makeup or specific makeup product? Favorite store to buy makeup?

answered this fella here

38. Do you wear dresses? If so what’s your favorite dress you own?

i used to have dresses. but not anymore.

i liked the long sleeve sweater black one i had with a low cut. it was gorgeous. i dont have much of boobage but i always felt like i was sexy in it.

39. Ever been heartbroken? How do you deal with it?

yep. you just kind of take it one day at a time. some days will be better than the last. some days you’ll cry a little harder and some days you move on a little further. it takes time. make sure you have good people around you so you don’t fall into depression.

40. Who’s your closest friend? What do you love about them?

ah, to be honest i don’t have a closest friend. i’ve always been the kind of person that always had friends around her but never anyone too deep. and i kinda wish i did. i just don’t know who would come to fill that spot. people always leave, so i kind of gave up assigning that spot. i think the people that want to be in that spot will show themselves and tell me. otherwise i will not assume or assign.

41. Introvert or extrovert?

introvert. but i have my moments. i can be charming and friendly when i want to.

42. Do you like MBTI? What’s your MBTI?

i had to look it up cause i forgot what it was lol

i took the test a while back: im infp.

there’s not a lot of us, apparently. which is cool. shout out to all infps out there!

43. Would you be a fairy, a mermaid, a vampire, a siren, or an angel?

hmmm. what kind of fairy tho? lol

maybe vampire? idk i’d be a sexy immortal lady that’d bite innocent boys and girls that just want to have a good time lol

44. What’s the best song a friend has ever introduced to you?

this oneee

45. Parlez-vous français?

no~

46. Most beautiful place you’ve been to?

butchart gardens

47. Where/when do you truly feel at home?

here

48. Does smiling put you in a better mood? Try it right now, you’re smile is gorgeous!

kdjfalkfjdlkdsaf //hides

this ask is flirting with me…

well that’s as much action as im going to get this new years eve lol

49. Favorite shoe you own?

my sweet rose gold kicks, yo.

50. Can you walk in stilettos? Do you like them?

lol no. i cannot. and i do not. im not made for heels. im tall enough as it is.

51. Do you feel loved?

every time i talk to my mutuals yes //cry

52. How do you express love to those you care about?

by saying cute words and by clinging to them like a koala.

53. Favorite term(s) of endearment?

sweetheart, dear, idk im just like anything honestly. love, baby. go crazy.

i also love mean terms like idiot and stuff. or nicknames that hold inside jokes, something between the two of you only.

54. Most romantic thing someone’s ever done for you?

hasn’t happened yet. so yeah. any takers? lol

55. When is the happiest you’ve ever been?

reading a good book for the first time. or just experiencing something new that i end up loving for the first time. nothing can replace that first feeling.

56. Are you happy right now?

happy im almost done hahhahahahaa. ha.

no but srsly i am

57. What makes you smile?

stupid jokes. puns. someone laughing and showing themselves fully.

58. Do you laugh a lot?

i mean. i think so? i try. i make jokes a lot and laugh at myself if that counts?

59. What’s your favorite kind of aesthetic?

ughhhh comfy bf aestheticcc

60. Do you want to marry for love or for some other reason (like money)?

i have a sour view on marriage. so only if i love someone hard enough. but even then i don’t know if i’ll do it. it hurts too much to think about marriage and wedding rings for me.

61. What would your dream wedding look like? Do you want to get married?

see above.

62. Favorite flower?

orchid.

63. Favorite artist?

claude monet.

64. Favorite music artist?

bts lol

no surprises there.

65. How kind do you think you are? Is kindness important to you?

its not something for me to decide. i try to be kind to everyone, but how it is interpreted is different for everyone. i’d like to think i’m kind.

and yes, very important. especially being kind to yourself.

66. Ever made a playlist for someone?

yes i have. i love making playlists for people. i don’t get asked that enough.

67. Do you have anything you do to physically comfort you when your sad? Such as a favorite blanket? Or a relaxing bath?

music. music always helps. and tea.

ideally i’d love for someone to massage my scalp, but hahah no one’s been able to do it the right way. when it’s done right i melt and forget about everything.

68. Early bird or night owl?

night owl.

moonchild, lol

69. Morning routine?

wake up, look in the mirror, look away from the mirror, go back to bed.

70. Night routine?

SHOWER N NICE SMELLING LOTIONS. AND SKINCAREEEEEE OOOOF.

also fresh sheets.

71. What is the most lovely quality a person could have in your opinion?

answered here

72. Do you cry often? Does crying help you get the emotions out? Do you feel better after?

i only cry when i watch or read something. and it does help. i always feel better after. but i tend to keep my emotions hidden away, the negative ones at least.

73. Do you like hugs?

i love hugs. come hug me, bro.

u must smell nice tho.

74. When was the last time you kissed someone?

august.

75. Are you small or tall?

tall. 175cm.

76. Do you like wholesome memes?

answered

77. Favorite thing about the past?

cd players. chia pet commercials. flip phones. mom jeans.

78. Do you ever wonder about the future?

all the time. esp mine. i have no idea what the fuck im doing.

79. Have you ever lived in a different country than you currently live in?

yep. i’ve lived in america and canada before. and traveled a lot.

80. Do you like plane flights? Airports?

i don’t mind flying. and depends on the airport. some are better than others.

81. Sunrises or sunsets?

sunrises. every day is a new day~

82. The beach or a forest?

bitch- i mean beach. :)

83. What time of day do you tend to be in the best mood?

any time i am eating. or sleeping. or reading.

im so close to being done omg. this is fun tho.

84. Do you push yourself to act together and in a good mood even when you aren’t?

always. ain’t nobody gonna deal with that baggage lol

85. Favorite kind of tree?

japanese maple tree

86. Do you care about the health of the Earth?

i mean i don’t even care about my health that much tbh, i need to work on that.

87. What did you like most about your childhood, if anything?

that i got to travel and learned english very young.

88. Do you read a lot? What’s your favorite book?

answered here

89. What are you most nostalgic for at the moment?

old school disney

90. What’s your favorite personality trait you have?

answered this bad boi here

91. List at least ONE thing you love about your appearance.

eyes. have to work on my ass tho. squats baby.

92. When was the last time you truly felt calm, without much of anything to worry about?

after a massage.

93. Do you worry a lot?

eh, i worry enough, i suppose. there’s just some stuff you can’t control.

94. The dazzling lights of the city or the relaxing countryside?

dazzling lights of the city. especially in the evening. and in the winter. ahhhhh. someone hold my hand and walk with meeeeee.

95. Ever changed the shoelaces on one of your shoes? For what reason?

no i haven’t had that pleasure, lol

maybe next year

96. Favorite pastry?

BUTTER. CROISSANT.

97. Do you like doing little acts of kindness?

yes. uwu

98. How’s your day/night going?

well im finally done with this ask holy shit, and i need to resume writing my namjoon fic so… fantastic. i also have noodles. whoooo.

thank you for reading this whole damn mess of an ask.

ily

#ask #asks #the-trth-untold #klsfjflksa #omg i can't believe i did all of that #holy shit #lkdsjflkda #about #seriously

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taehyungiestummy · 5 years

Text

Summer Dreams -- Chapter Twenty-One

Masterlist Previous Next

Warnings: None

Word Count: 2801

| Taehyung: Sorry that we have to wake you girls up to do this, but we have to see your faces!

I squint at my phone, the brightness as low as it will go is still to much for my eyes that just opened in the early hours of the morning.

“Are they ready?” Emily yawns, setting up the laptop for our Skype date.

“With how much planning went into make sure we could do this,” I pull my desk chair in front of Emily’s desk, taking my seat. “I hope so. Having to wake up at the ass crack of dawn is like when we had jetlag, but now I’m tired.”

“Hopefully jetlag isn’t as bad going home, as school will be just days away when we get back,” Emily leans back in her seat, waiting for the Skype call.

“I’ll text them to say we are good to go,” I hold my phone up, shooting off the text to Taehyung.

| Me: We are ready for you to call us, so don’t leave us hanging!

| Taehyung: Calling right now!

A split second later, the Skype ringtone causes both Emily and I to jump. Emily shakes the nerves off quickly, answering the call.

“Ah, it is so good to see your faces,” I lazily smile, knowing that I must look like a tired dork.

Namjoon and Taehyung look to be sitting on a hotel bed, but it is hard to tell when all I want to do is focus on their faces.

“We miss you,” Taehyung slowly says in Korean.

“I don’t think they can have a conversation in Korean this early in the morning yet, Taehyung,” Namjoon pats the younger boy on the shoulder, saying the sentence first in English and then Korean.

“I miss you,” I feel like I slur the Korean words.

“Just talk slowly,” Emily’s Korean sounds like a baby trying to speak. “Our brains our waking up.”

“I’ll just translate,” Namjoon switches us back to English.

“You are so lucky that we don’t have anything going on today,” I yawn, rubbing my eyes with the heel of my hands. “I never wake us this early for any reason, so consider yourselves important to me.”

“I would hope that Taehyung is at least important to you, Amber” Namjoon chuckles.

“You’re important to me, Namjoon,” Emily blurts out. “Just as long as this never happens again. I can’t wake up this early too much.”

“We’ll figure out a better system, I promise,” he runs a hand through his hair. “There will be a better time to do this when you are back here, and we are back there.”

“That’s what you say, but the time zone gap is big,” I bring my legs up onto my seat to cross them like a pretzel. “As long as we get to keep seeing your lovely faces.”

“I was afraid there wouldn’t be a time where we could all Skype,” Emily leans into me. “That your schedule would be too hectic, and there would never be a break for us to do this.”

Taehyung rattles something off in Korean, but my brain can only catch a few words.

“What?” Emily and I shake our heads.

“He said that we will always make time for you girls,” Namjoon slightly grins. “As long as you make time for us.”

“Look who is becoming the romantic,” I chuckle.

“Is it lunch there now?” Emily asks to stop any gushy moment.

“Yeah,” Namjoon nods. “That’s how we were able to take sometime to call you, but I don’t think that we can talk for much longer.

“I miss you,” Taehyung pouts. “I don’t like this feeling.”

“Aw, Tae,” I feel my heart clench with sadness. “We’ll have to get used to that feeling. I hate it too, but we can power through.”

“We’ll be leaving in a couple weeks or something,” Emily adds.

“We’ll be back to see you off,” Namjoon nods a few times. “I can promise you that.”

“You are coming back, yes?” Taehyung asks. “Next summer?”

“Yes, next summer,” I smile, feeling the pull on my cheeks. “No doubt about it. Nari loves us so much, she wants us to come back more than anyone. We just have to ask her and confirm that we can come back.”

“Ask her soon, so we know to look forward to seeing you again,” Namjoon grins.

“I don’t think that Nari will be the one that will prevent us from coming back here,” Emily grips the hem of her pajama shirt. “It is our parents that will take the most convincing.”

“They let you come this year, so why wouldn’t they let you come again?” Namjoon’s eyebrows scrunch together.

“Out of the list of places they would have loved for me to go, this was at the bottom.” I shrug, “But I fell in love with the area, and then Nari just sealed the deal. She’s young, caring, and wanted to get to know Emily and me. She was unlike any of my other relatives, so I had to come here.”

“Nari seems almost perfect for Jin,” Namjoon comments. “She sounds sweet, caring, and when we went over for that party she loves to cook. Seokjin loves to cook, and I’m sure that’s what he would look for in a girl along with sweet, caring, and cute.”

“She would love to hear that,” Emily giggles.

“Are we setting up my cousin?” I chuckle, thinking of how my cousin is sleeping peacefully in her room. “I mean, she just said the other day that she would be okay with being set up.”

“She did,” Emily taps her feat on the floor. “Could you imagine if they liked each other? Or if it went pass us setting them up?”

“Would he even go on a blind date?” I see that Namjoon is catching Taehyung up.

“Possibly,” Namjoon shrugs once he’s done translating. “We can try it, but that means we have to get together for sure before you two leave. It would make more sense if you both were there.”

“I agree,” Emily nods. “We need to do it before we leave.”

“Sounds fun,” Taehyung smiles.

“Right when we get back,” Namjoon glances at his phone. His face falling into a frown as he must realize the time. “We need to get going soon, girls.”

“Aw,” I pout. “Try to Skype again soon. We went too long without seeing you, or hearing your voices.”

“Yeah, we miss you as much as you miss us,” Emily lets a yawn escape her lips.

“We will do our best,” Namjoon grins, firmly nodding.

“Bye jagiya,” Taehyung smirks at me.

I feel my cheeks slowly heat up, “Bye Tae.”

The other day I finally came to the decision that I did want to make it official with Taehyung, and while I would have like to do it in person, he and the group had already left for the United States. I had to settle for a message over text, but it worked out all the same. His excitement was evident in all the exclamation points and emojis that he was using. I was a blushing mess, wishing that I could hug him to make it feel even more real.

“Ah, so you two are dating?” Namjoon teases. “I had a feeling that it might have been made official, after Taehyung couldn’t get a smile off his face.”

“It was all up to me, and I had to think about it,” I let my fingers dance over my knees.

“About time you two committed,” Emily wraps her arms around me. “You two are so cute.”

Taehyung chuckles, “Thank you.”

“Okay, enough of this,” I wiggle out of Emily’s embrace. “You boys have work to do, and I have some sleep that I want to resume. We’ll see you again soon.”

“Bye!” Namjoon and Taehyung smile, waving at us.

“Bye,” Emily and I smile back before ending the call.

“Well, that went better than I expect,” I stand up, pulling my chair back to my desk. “I don’t think that I can make it back to my bed though,” I feel the tiredness wrapping around me like a blanket.

“The beanbags,” Emily closes the laptop, standing up to fall into a beanbag.

A yawn escapes me as I pull a blanket from my bed, curling up in the empty beanbag seconds later.

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me that you are now Taehyung’s boyfriend,” Emily tiredly giggles.

“I wanted it to be a surprise.” My eyes close against my will. “Surprise.”

“You are adorable.”

I open my mouth to respond, but the words get lost in my throat. Sleep descends on me, and I greet it with open arms.

********

“I can’t believe you are just going to leave the books that you buy today at my house,” Nari smiles as she looks at me with my arms full of books.

“Yeah, that’s the plan,” I nod, shifting the books around my arms to be more comfortable. “Then we have to come back. I mean, we already have a ton of things that we have to leave here, so we’ll be coming back.”

“And we love you so much Nari,” Emily slides another book off the shelf. “We are coming back to be with you and not just the stuff we are leaving behind.”

“And of course, your boyfriend,” Nari pats my shoulder. “No need to beat around the bush. I know that he calls you jagiya, and I am so happy for you.”

I awkwardly giggle, feeling the blush creep onto my face, “Yeah, I know, it is too cute to handle. I’m happy that he wants to call me his girlfriend, and I can’t believe that I get to call him my boyfriend.”

Emily steps up to me, “Speaking of them. They want to set you up with someone. Blind date with one of the members they believe would be perfect for you.”

“You’re kidding,” Nari grabs some of the books from my arms. “I mention one time that I would be okay with being set up or whatever, and you are already planning it.”

“They think you’d be perfect for him. Plus, you live here and speak Korean, so you can see him and communicate with him better than Amber or I will with our boyfriends.”

“Am I his age?” Nari looks between us, holding up a hand, “Hold on a second though. Did you just say boyfriends?”

Emily’s face is as red as a strawberry in seconds, “Um, well, you see.”

“The answer to your question is yes,” I speak up for my best friend. “However, she is saying that for convivence because the do aren’t really dating yet.”

“Still, super cute, and I hope that all goes well,” Nari pats Emily’s shoulder. “Now, is the member they want to set me up with around my age?”

“How old are you again?” I sheepishly smile. “You’d think I would remember, but sometimes I forget how old I am.”

“I will be turning twenty-two next January,” Nari answers, gently pinching my cheek. “You have too much information swimming around your head, that I’m surprised you stay sane. I’m not surprised that you don’t remember my age, though. I don’t talk about how old I am, as it doesn’t matter.”

“You are not old, you are young,” I grab a book from the shelf.

“That is very sweet of you, cousin,” Nari chuckles. “Now, what is the answer to my question.”

“The answer is he is around your age,” Emily nods. “That narrows down who it could be, but we will not tell you.”

“I will let it be a true blind date, but what if he says no? Will you tell me then?”

“The boys don’t believe that he would turn down a blind date after they explain what you are like,” I reply.

“And how would they describe me?”

“I’m sure that they would stat by saying that you love to cook, which is accurate. You’ve cooked for us a lot while over here, and we would Skyped a lot while you cooked.”

“Then they would talk about how sweet and caring you are,” Emily picks up for me. “That you are letting your cousin and her best friend stay with you for the summer because they asked. Hoping that they have a great time in your home, and feel like they are welcome to come back.”

“And of course they can’t forget to mention that you work at a daycare, so you are patient but stern when need be. That you are a hardworking girl that can take care of herself, but is open to a relationship and having some fun.”

Nari is widely smiling as the little speech about her ends. “That is very sweet of you to say girls, and I am so glad that is the perception that I give off. Even if he says no, or we find out during the blind date that it just won’t work out, at least I know I did good with the two of you.”

“I think that it will go perfectly,” I feel a slight cramp forming in my arms. “I also think that we should check out, and then head to a clothing store to get some outfits to take home.”

“To show off?” Emily tease, bumping her hip against mine.

“Well, I mean, that isn’t the goal,” I lead the way to the check-out counter.

“You don’t care what other people think though.”

“I say that you girls find your back-to-school outfit today,” Nari places the books in her hand on the counter first. “Then I can make sure that you will for sure be showing off to those back home. The ones that you want to, anyway.”

“Now that’s the attitude that I like to her,” I smirk, placing my books on the counter, handing money to Nari.

Emily and I stand back as Nari talks with the lady at the counter.

“We are so close to being like that, but I still have to piece a lot together when in a conversation,” I sigh. “It is still a lot of guess work, and I am not that confident with my own pronunciation.”

“For just starting to learn the language at the beginning of the summer, I think that we have come pretty far and should be proud of that,” Emily says.

“I am proud, but I wish that we could talk more with the boys, and do what Nari is doing.”

“That is the goal for next summer, and we will be able to do it if we keep working hard,” she grabs my hand, swinging our arms.

“Don’t let Taehyung know that you held my hand,” I chuckle. “He’ll get all sad because he wants to be the only one that holds my hand.”

“He really likes you. I still can’t believe how close you two have become over this short time.”

“He’s like no other boy that I have ever been confident enough to talk to. He makes me feel important, and all the compliments, and he’s just too sweet every time that we are together.”

“The perfect boy for you, that is for sure.”

“Alright girls,” Nari steps up to us, handing a bag to Emily and then me. “We still have more shopping to, so I say we stop to grab a snack, and then we can shop for a couple more hours.”

“I normally hate shopping, but being with you, Nari, makes it so much better,” I let the older girl lead the way out of the bookstore.

“I’m glad that I can bring some joy to something that normally drags you down,” Nari holds the door open. “Your reward will then be a nice home cooked meal.”

“You’re going to make me even more hungry,” I groan as we head to Nari’s car.

“She’ll let you know once she’s ready to tap out, so we better get as much clothes shopping in before then,” Emily settles into the back seat with me.

“It’s just clothes shopping you hate?” Nari starts the car up.

“I mostly hate trying every thing on, and not really know what I want going in,” I shrug. “With books or video games, I have an idea of what I want to get. With clothes, I could get anything. My style can be whatever I want it to be.”

“Understandable,” Nari nods a few times, backing out of the parking spot and then we are on our way to some clothing stores. “I think that is just you being an introvert, though.”

“Whatever it is, hopefully there is a snack place nearby, so I can recharge a little before we dive in.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Two chapters in one day, I am so proud of myself! This one is a little shorter, but it is kind of a filler chapter anyway. Hope you enjoyed reading! I am working on getting at least one chapter out tomorrow, so look out for that. The end is near for this. :D

#BTS fanfiction #BTS series #BTS x OC #BTS imagine #Jungkook x OC #Jungkook imagine #Taehyung x OC #Taehyung imagine #Jimin x OC #Jimin imagine #Namjoon x OC #Namjoon imagine #Hoseok x OC #Hoseok imagine #Yoongi x OC #Yoongi imagine #Seokjin x OC #Seokjin imagine #My OCs

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maris-a-writer-now · 6 years

Note

hello hello!!! could i request being bffls with mx in like bullet points!! please and thank you!!

For sure!! Thank you for requesting here, and request or whatever :))

(A/N // This is gonna be separated by member because I feel like that’s what makes sense here, if I’m not right let me know and I’ll change it!! :))

BFFL’s with Monsta X!

Genre: Fluff, maybe some crack (prolly some crack.. Its monsta x)

Warnings: None

Shownu:

So. He’s definitely more withdrawn than the other boys.

Most of when you two would hang out you’re watching tv

Maybe on your phones

He would show you videos he saw that he thought would make you laugh

He was alright right

You would recommend kdramas for him to watch on the road

He would skype you to watch the newest episodes with you

Always insists on paying for your food when you go out with him.

“Just let me pay. It’s not a big deal.”

He always said it with his little smile playing on his lips, so you couldn’t really refuse.

When you had a bad day, he was who you would go to first.

Definitely your favorite shoulder to cry on.

He would rub your back and not offer advice until you asked him.

Overall, reserved but loving. 11/10 need me a friend like Shownu

Wonho:

v e r y energetic. (not the same as minhyuk, but still pret energized.)

always feels like he has to be talking to you, if not in person then through text.

literally if you set your phone down for ten minutes you come back to twenty texts and a missed phone call.

“I thought you were ignoring me :(”

takes emojis very seriously

if you don’t respond with the same enthusiasm with emojis he thinks he did something to make you mad.

likes to carry you.

like even if you don’t want to suddenly you’re off the ground.

laughs at all of your jokes, even if they aren’t funny

most of the time when you hang out its watching him excercize

he can and will drag you to the gym so. be prepared.

overall just be prepared to exert a lot of emotional energy. he just wants to make sure that hes keeping you happy. soft lil bub

Minhyuk:

energetic pt 2

he will literally keep you doing anything his mind can think of for hours

loves to make you laugh, so expect him embarrassing himself and you in public.

clin g y boy

he really loves being close to people, so anything you’re doing hes got your arms intertwined.

“Just hold my hand! It’ll be easier to get around!!”

l o u d

you can hear him from a mile away so you always know when he’s close.

loves to sing to you

when you’re laying in bed, he’ll wrap himself around you and sing to you until you’re about to fall asleep

he really just has this soft spot for you tho

like he would throw hands with anyone who ever made you upset

overall a loving puppy who just wants to see you smiling. oof im soft

Kihyun:

So. Every one at all times compares him to being like. a mom, but i don’t agree at all..

hes definitely the dad friend. slightly detached from all situations, kinda awkward when it comes to your emotions, makes really old jokes, but really really loves you.

so with that comes him being slightly overprotective.

he has to make sure anyone that you want to take time out of your day to talk to is worth your time.

he likes knowing that you’re taking care of yourself.

texts you to tell you to sleep and eat, even if it annoys you sometimes.

he doesn’t exactly know what to do when you get upset, so he just starts making faces to try and make you smile

“Oh good.. I’m glad you’re smiling now.”

loves to hug you tightly so he can laugh at how you try to squirm out of his grip

he would definitely straighten up your living room if its a mess while you’re out doing stuff.

you would come back to him with your feather duster and music blasting.

overall just a dorky dude who loves you a lot, and makes sure you’re out there living your healthiest life. a whole mood.

Hyungwon:

to start off with there would be a lot of laughing. like a lot.

mostly him laughing at you, cause he just thinks its funny when you do things on accident.

You trip? Hes laughing. Drop your phone? He drops a giggle.

there would be a lot of sleeping over at each others houses.

like you would come home from work, and see hyungwon dead to the world in your bed.

you would shrug and just lay down next to him

i think he would really like to shop with you, to get your opinions, and also to spoil you lowkey.

like i feel like hes this guy who likes to buy the other members things that he thinks they would like, so he would definitely pass that onto you.

doesnt ever call you, but he will facetime you if you werent around.

mostly you two text, cause its a lot less effort on both of your parts.

definitely nights spent hanging out involve you cooking for him after he whines enough.

“I’m so busy, please cook for me~”

all in all, hes a pretty chill guy, just looking to laugh and hang out in a low maintenance setting. definitely me but like.. whats new ya know

Jooheon:

very ve r y s o f t

like i don’t know how to explain it other than that sentence.

he’s almost like the older brother you never knew you needed.

if you’re cold, he’s giving you his jacket, if you’re hungry he’s buying food right then. Raining? He’s holding the umbrella like.

definitely challenges you to rap battles just so he can outrap you.

invites you to hang out at his studio all the time.

has you track raps for him so he can hype you up

he always drives you to and from wherever you’re going because he’s scared of letting you walk alone.

“I’m not going to let you be in danger idiot.”

definitely uses idiot as a term of endearment.

texts you uplifting quotes to make you happy if you’re sad.

he acts cute when he wants you to smile, but you always end up pushing him away

overall the best hype man who also hugs all of your problems away. cause lets be real jooheon def gives the best hugs like oof…

Changkyun:

(This gif has nothing to do with this reaction, I’m just really glad I got the chance to use it lmfaoooooooooooo. Sorry Changkyun I really do love you.)

im just gonna say it. your text history is just you and him sending memes back and forth.

he definitely sends memes of himself, and you yell at him saying those weren’t allowed.

he loves to make fun of you gently to make you laugh, and of course you do the same.

hes def the type to call you at 3 am to be philosophical

and you always answer and listen because it always makes you happy

hes very helpful when you need advice

he always knows what to say and what not to

hes very spontaneous with how you two hang out.

sometimes hes making you hike, and sometimes you just lay on your kitchen floor after you two had a competition on who could eat the most cookie dough.

v sarcastic, but always knows when to turn it down for you.

l o u d pt. 2

he raps at you when he knows you’re already low key annoyed at him

overall hes just trying his best to make sure that you’re in your best mood around him. yes memes included.

I really hope you enjoyed this!

#anonymous #Anonymous #asks #monsta x #monsta x fluff #monsta x scenarios #monsta x fanfic #monsta x bullets #monsta x friends #i really had fun writing this wowowow #i really think all of them would be the best best friend #mx #ot7

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ellen-reincarnated1967 · 6 years

Text

Space

Written for: @spnangstbingo

Pairing: Reader x Jared

Warnings: self doubt, assumptions, condom (you’ll see), accusations (implied and not), cheating (implied), destruction of property, character death, unresolved issues…

Word Count: 1,508

Square Filled: Free Space

Summary: When the reader discovers something unusual in her night-stand, she begins to question her relationship with her husband.

A/N: Something personal I needed to flesh out- I tend to overreact and assume the worst in people and today it came to a head.

Something was niggling at the back of your head for what seemed like days. It wasn’t desperate to be sought out, however, it was making its presence known and the pebble in your stomach was becoming more like a rock as the sleepless nights passed.

You’d been married to the love of your life for roughly four years and together for over seven. Soulmates he had insisted; you were quick to quote Plato thus sealing you both together. To him, you were his unicorn: rare, special, and everything he had hoped to have in a loved one. He was everything you ever wanted in a man.

Relationships are tricky though- you read about them, your girlfriends talk endlessly about the ups and downs of their romances, you see what could only be pictured as too good to be true on the big screen. There were days that led to weeks that eventually seemed like months, where neither of you were intimate with the other.

His work schedule, your health, even the late night texts and skype calls were not enough. He constantly reminded you how beautiful you were; knowing you were having self doubts about your appearance. He would stare with such an intensity it was as if you were going to fade from his existence.

What any other woman would take to heart and be grateful for the attention, you were feeling trapped. His constant praises full of rightful intent were becoming trite to you, a necessity; his loving gaze into your soul was driving you mad as if he was hovering, frightened that you may break at any moment.

Jared had left early in the morning forgetting to set your alarm, which was usually a warm kiss to your forehead. Usually one to oversleep, your intuition woke you. There was that niggling feeling in your gut again. You had various phone calls to return, bills to pay, and by the time you realized you may be behind on one of the more important ones, regardless of your husband’s income and yours combined, the stress began to stir in your chest.

Tiny spindles threading together like a spider weaving a web; only this web was becoming tighter and tighter against your ribcage and the only thing it was catching was your breath.

Reaching into your night stand for your anxiety medicine, “to be taken as needed”, your hand rummaged around for the drugstore orange bottle, only to land on something you hadn’t felt, seen, or used in seven years.

A fucking trojan; its blue wrapper shiny and new, the label screaming, “lubricated for his pleasure” or something you couldn’t fathom, because, what the actual fuck, Jared, why is there a condom in here in the first place?

This was the last fucking straw to break your back and you did what any wife would do when she found something unusual; you took a damn photo of it on your cell phone and texted your husband,

Why is THIS in my nightstand?!

Breathe in…rage out…

It’s not even the ones we used when we DID use protection FYI.

There weren’t enough emojis to send and the ones you wanted to use would only ignite this further, so you inhaled, texted your best friend the screen shots of the on going message to your husband, and waited.

Dramatically, an eternity passed, but in actuality it was maybe two minutes top when Jared’s smiling face appeared on your phone, his text reading,

???I have no idea!!!!

We’re playing the husband without a clue card, you snarled through your teeth as you read the message again, as if there were a secret encoded reason as to why he was playing said card. You had nothing to go on so you became obsessed with the actual text itself. Who even uses that many exclamation points, you felt the anger boiling in your gut, your jaw clenching, teeth gnashing together, as you typed out your response,

Who is she, Jared.

Not a question; a full on accusation. You needed to see his face, so you pulled up the FaceTime application on your cellphone and it rang, its incessantly, high pitched, annoying tone, mocking you.

It rang.

Rang again.

Call has ended.

“Not on my end, you son of a bitch,” you threw you phone across the room and it shattered. Not bothering to pick it up, you hastily grabbed your overnight bag, stuffed whatever clothing you could manage, threw in your toiletries and makeup, and hightailed it toward the garage.

His metallic onyx Wrangler was taunting you while the keys to your own car, were gripped so tightly that they were pinching your flesh. Scratching a jagged scar into the driver’s side, you had hoped to trigger something, relief, you didn’t care, what aroused from the act.

You felt zero remorse, zero guilt; you felt nothing in that moment and it frightened you.

You stared at the flecks of paint on your pale and shaking fingers, looked towards the visible scarring on the truck, and only wished he felt an iota of the pain you were feeling. As you slammed your belongings into the backseat of your vehicle, you peeled out of the garage, and tore towards your best friend’s house.

As you sped, the limit on the highway, went out the proverbial window, you zigzagged in and out of the cars that were going too slow for your liking. That web that was building in your rib-cage was expanding more than it would allow you to exhale the anger that was making you see red; no, you weren’t seeing red, there were spots in front of your eyes, your breathing was becoming erratic, the sharp inhales of wanton breath leaving you for a lack of a better word, breathless.

They say when you die, your life flashes before your eyes, but in your case, all you saw were those flitting spots in front of your eyes as the tears blinded you to the red light in an intersection.

Hey, you’ve reached the voicemail of YN YLN, I’m either screening my calls or busy, guess you’ll never know. Leave a message after the beep.

Beep.

Jamming the phone into his back pocket, Jared was infuriated. A literal chicken without his head, he was running around the set, bumping into the PAs and cameras, as he dashed to his trailer, Jensen hot on his trail. He had shown his best friend the text messages and felt horrible about not being able to take your FaceTime call, but Rich was running a tight ship. As soon as he yelled cut and print, Jared had made haste to get Clif to drive him home.

Jensen, trying to aide his best friend with reminders of breathing techniques he had learned throughout his therapeutic sessions was doing nothing but setting Jared’s meltdown into overdrive.

Shoving Jensen out of the SUV, Jared’s eyes blown from worry, the tears building but refusing to fall down his dimpled cheeks, he looked him in the eyes and swallowed, this is my fault, Jensen, mine.

Jensen knew what Jared meant; tried to persuade him to let him tag along, but Jared insisted, slamming the door to the SUV with such force. He watched as Clif drove Jared home, the black vehicle becoming just a speck in the distance.

Jensen swiped his code into his lockscreen and dialed your number, but it went straight to voicemail.

Hey, you’ve reached the voicemail of YN YLN, I’m either screening my calls or busy, guess you’ll never know. Leave a message after the beep.

Jared insisted Clif drive faster but he was quick to be stern with the young man, reminding him it wouldn’t do him no good if he was dead before he got to ya. The road leading towards your house became packed, cars nearly at a standstill. Flashing lights could be seen in the forefront and as the cars stopped to stare at the wreckage, Jared attempted your phone again. His heart beat picked up as he saw the compacted metal of what used to be your favorite car, a body bag being zipped up alongside the road, and an ambulance leaving the scene of the accident. Clif immediately noticed the make of your car, locked the doors to the SUV, and sped like hell towards the hospital.

You never thought it would end like this; but here you were, lying on your back, hooked up to various machines, unable to breathe, speak, or think. Otherworldly it was, watching the scene unfold before you. You husband was sullen, his skin taut and gray in color, his beard had grown in, and he hadn’t showered in days. He reached for your hand, urging you, begging you, to squeeze just once. You would admit later on when you were met on judgement day, that you were tempted to squeeze back. The fight in you, however, had ended the moment you heard Jared’s voice crack and the phrase that left you hollow,

Baby, I never meant to…

Forever Tags: @uniquewerewolfsuit @wheresthekillswitch @oneshoeshort @hiddenwritingsintheworld @mrswhozeewhatsis @growningupgeek @authoressskr @meeshw777 @sandlee44 @xtina2191 @faegal04 @sis-tafics@smoothdogsgirl @iwriteshortstuff @dorky-and-i-know-it @hexparker@riversong-sam @atc74 @ruprecht0420 @20secspnfam4 @me-a-unicorn@chelsea072498 @skybinx-blog @d-s-winchester @deandoesthingstome @moonlitskinwalker @mamapeterson @feelmyroarrrr @sassysupernaturalsweetheart @roxy-davenport @becs-bunker @evilskank-inthemegacoven @spn-fan-girl-173-2nd @there-must-be-a-lock @emilyymichelle @tiffanycaruso @curliesallovertheplace @meganwinchester1999 @emoryhemsworth @supernaturalismylife @lessons-of-red@myfand0msandm0re @deductions-in-time-and-space (DSTB) @daughterleftbehind (Dibs) @maddieburcham1@poemwriter98 @lupine-princess @thinkwritexpress-official @smoothdogsgirl @sound-the-siren@mayasmedberg @iwantthedean @wonderange @just-a-touch-of-sass-and-fandoms @kas-not-cas

#jared and reader rpf #jared padalecki rpf #jared padalecki fan fiction #tw: self doubt #tw: cheating implied #spnangstbingo #spn angst bingo #free space #tw: cursing #tw: destruction of property #tw: character death #tw: car accident #tw: hospitals #tw: that ending though

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girlwithlandscape · 6 years

Text

“art in america” - Sophie Robinson

at dusk each day i like to think of all my new friends in different parts of the city jerking off running baths vaping weed getting sober running their mouths & reading poetry aloud to one another. alice says i have the right to repeat myself so i do alice says you can cry if you need to so i do she looks away scrolls pictures of dogs on instagram & we watch the traffic dancing towards the bridge everybody on their way somewhere i want to go far— jameson says i know u know it will get better i nod closed mouthed in a gesture i believe to convey quiet bravery (too little too late) it’s so hot & close u can almost lick the weather’s face today steam rises off the east river in a film god kills herself by removing her own intestines i don’t have the guts to watch it jameson’s poems are so rangey on the bench like a godhead my mother’s arm is broken & strapped to her side on skype my dad calls me baby in a text when he’s drunk i don’t know what this means god’s suicide scene at the cinema last night we didn’t understand a thing but were so happy just to be there not on our way anywhere. i want to go far far — the film said loving someone was the only thing to do & in it one of the characters described the music he listened to as soupy it’s a bad translation cori laughs & made a joke in french. un soupçon — the film begins & ends with a woman covered in blood & andrew said maybe we are supposed to understand it all backwards i guess that’s how love works too it’s all faith until the end & then you see it later for what it is or wasn’t or what it coulda been the whole trick when i see your face or hear your name i want to pass out from love from sadness from shame & from regret. when i arrived in america i wished simply to drown in feeling & forget about work but then i got so wet i had to start swimming. steam rises off the east river. john giorno says it’s not what happens it’s how you handle it— i chew on language here: philly cheesesteak rockaway park taconic state parkway restroom sidewalk mama i’m so tired some days i take secret photographs of americana & feel like a normal alien alice & i talk on a bench whilst the sun sets & watch the lights in the apartment building opposite turn on one by one. last week i drank bourbon & cried for four nights solid soaking through my sheets my t shirts & the mattress. over & over. fevery dream in which i see a drunk woman (me) doing shots & snorting coke from a key. i tell her let me help you & then i open a wound on her arm & remove from the wound a giant plastic egg. i crack the egg to reveal a small wooden sphere & from it emerges a large white rat. don’t ask me how. i put the rat on a leash & walk it back to my apartment. i go to sleep in my dream petting the rat & wake up feeling good. i give the rat breakfast which she eats happily. i kiss her head. i go back to the bar & find the woman (me) sicker than ever. thin, sweating, with two black eyes & a purple arm. i say hey what happened & she says you shouldn’t have taken what you took the way you took it. you shouldn’t have taken what you took the way you took it. you shouldn’t have taken what you took the way you took it. i leave her on the floor to die. what do i care. i have my rat. alice says i have the right to repeat myself so i do. on the hot drive from hudson cathy gets me to do impressions of different british accents and describe the city i come from. when I get back to my apartment i vomit in the kitchen sink then the bathroom sink then the toilet then again in the shower. pink ribbons of bile & wine. I am the only person at the john giorno installation in hell’s kitchen on a wednesday afternoon & i cry for twenty minutes watching him speak on a twenty foot projector screen. thanks for nothing america i did it all without you i sometimes wish a lesbian could be given this much room. to do anything. you don’t love me & the feeling of not being loved comes in waves steam rising off the east river i kiss my rat’s head. i am such a bad peach. seeing it all backwards. the world is so big! desire alone makes it small there’s nothing funny about being a lesbian today on my hands & knees like juiced fruit in prayer position at the gallery the cinema the bathroom floor you shouldn’t have taken what you took the way you took it when i got back to the apartment the rat was drunk when i got back to the apartment the rat jerked me off when i got back to the apartment the rat was me jameson gets me to stand on stage at the amphitheatre by the river to take a picture steam rises i lose sight of him for a second & it’s just me & the water & the bridge & the dog gently pissing [self help / fake rumi poem says only when i quit believing in myself did i come to such beauty] there’s a power in loneliness i need to channel there’s a freedom in not being loved i need to channel it’s not what happens it’s how you handle it — i came to america to be a solid gold flower floating down the river & now reduced to repeating my own name out loud, my DOB, where i live the things i did today. splashing my face in the kitchen sink over & over honestly i am sick of helping jesus count days my mother’s limp white arm. the things she gave & took. mama i’m so sad america begins & ends in blood i want to go far far far — sometimes i get off on meanness the holding back the love that’s bucking against the gate penny arcade says when she came to new york she saw a sign at a head shop saying you are a daughter of the universe this city is mine just as much as it’s anyones! today is my 32nd birthday. i wish i had never been born. andy warhol was a fraud. fame is a kind of violence. ambition makes me sick. i want to close every door. i don’t care about kathy acker. i don’t care about anything anymore. there’s no art in america, it’s all sugar & war. i shouldn’t have taken what i took the way i took it but listen: wherever in the world if i never see you again always on your way somewhere i will love you gently the whole length of my life i want nothing for you but endless poetry easy ppl slow morning strong coffee dynamic emoji time to read dancing dog uncracked screen mountain bunny a million years deep sense of peace & somebody who loves you for free when she sees your animal grace your swagger the way you open fruit </3 o! i am glad to have known you my devastating weakness my white rat my river of gold & my old wild american heart xxx

#poetry #poem #sophie robinson #beauty #love #getting over it #unrequited love #art in america #sacred texts #quote

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uniquedonutfest · 3 years

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Bible Download For Mac Os X

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inbl0om · 6 years

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2017: year in review

As per my own personal tradition, here is my tumblr review of my 2017:

January Law school and I ended up not working out. Cue existential crisis. What the fuck was I going to do now? Depression consumed me, worthlessness and existential failure drowned me. Also, my baby Takala passed on. My mother got me Truffles the tortoise to cope, and I started seeing my current therapist.

February Truffles died after a mere 3 weeks due to an overdosage of de-worming medication from the vet. I turned 23 on Feb 17. I was mega upset that a huge rainstorm prevented about 80% of the people invited to my birthday party from attending (LA freeways flood), but I decided to go to San Francisco with a friend and her roommate on a whim. I then met someone who is now one of my closest friends. Henceforth, the four of us called ourselves the “Bay Baes.” I also received my tortoise Turbo as a belated birthday gift :)

March I went to the OC for a friend’s birthday weekend, and slowly but surely felt myself becoming “me” again, whatever that means. I traveled to New Orleans with my friends from university. It was an over all fun trip, but at the end of the day it was kind of awkward to be the only person in the group who had not slept with someone else in the group. Finally, I got my first post-grad job, at LB. And my baby Speedy came into my life!

April I thought that I was finally starting to like my role at LB. I liked that it was small enough that everyone had at least seen everyone else’s faces, and I liked that my role meant I got to know half the company. I also began to recruit interns, which is what I do now currently at WMG. More on that later. I also spent Easter weekend with my “Bay Baes.”

May Intern recruitment for LB became in full swing, but I was beginning to feel an uneasy air about my workplace. I suddenly didn’t feel as psychologically safe. I also visited New York City/my friends there for the long weekend. It’s always nice to be back in my home-away-from-home, but it left me as existentially despaired as always as I cried in the back of my Lyft: did I really make the right decision in moving to LA? Should I move back to NYC?

June This is when my dating frenzy began. I suddenly needed a reason to be in LA that was more than just my family or the significantly lower quantity of friends I had (compared to NYC). I dated left and right, and even got used by a guy because I was easy access to weed, or so he thought. This is also when I started to hate LB. No, not LB itself... rather, my own leadership team. My interns slowly starting one after the other was a good distraction.

July At this point, all of the college students I had helped to recruit were finally altogether. And soon, as my relationship to them started to deepen, they became the only reason why I wanted to come into work any more. I was not psychologically safe and had learned that LB was planning on replacing me. After a bunch of tears and wallowing in my own self-pity of not being good enough, I cracked my knuckles and began to apply to jobs elsewhere. WMG contacted me, and my interviews began.

August 10 different interviews (including 3 different in-person locations and a few Skype/phone calls) later, and WMG offered me the job I currently have--and love! I said goodbye to LB on my interns’ last day. I traveled to Indiana and Wisconsin to visit my sister & brother who attend universities there. I also met a guy who was as sweet as he was quiet--which was very much so, as I have never ever dated an introvert with that much social anxiety. But he was nice to me regardless and still wanted to hold my hand in public.

September I started working at my current job at WMG. And I love it. I’ve never felt this fulfilled before and never felt so...valued. Professionally, anyway. Also, said guy from above ended things with me towards the end of the month. I guess it was for the best, since we never spoke. Just made out. My baby tortoise Speedy turned a year old, and I began graduate school at USC.

October I met Alex J. the day after I went to a Chance the Rapper concert. Our first date was at a coffee shop in our shared hometown. He is the kindest, gentlest person I have ever met. What he lacked in self confidence he made up for in his sincerity and genuine enjoyment of my company. I was in Nashville for work when he told me that he “fe[lt] a lot of love for [me]” and then asked me to be his girlfriend on the 23rd. No one had ever said “I love you” to me like this. I’ve never been so overcome with emotion.

November I visited my friends in New York City again for a weekend. For once, I didn’t cry when I left. I realized, then, that Alex J. had become my home. Yet... Just as fast as our whirlwind romance began, it came to a halt. Alcoholism is a beast and addiction is a disease. He had to do what was best for his health... and my sanity, as I came to understand after weeks of meditation and beating myself up for it. Having the rug pulled from under me like that shattered my heart in an instant. He asked for space, and it was space I gave him.

December My 90-day mark at WMG came and passed, and I was happy. I had successfully recruited 75 interns and made wonderful friends at work. I felt like myself for the first time since he told me it was over when I stayed out until 2am when I attended the company Christmas party after party with said office friends. Especially since what was left of my heart combusted when he started dating an older woman he met at AA literally two weeks afterward.

But then, he did the cruelest thing: asked for me back. I don’t know what the future holds for him and me, but I sent him the book on Buddhism that he had mentioned earlier he wanted to read to help him with his own journey to sobriety. He cried when he received it, and I cried writing the note that accompanied it. We exchanged “I love you”s and left it at reciprocated heart emojis. I had no one to kiss at midnight. Instead, I looked up to the sky and asked the powers that be to keep him safe.

2017 was the year of my rebirth. I went from an aimless college graduate/law school dropout to a working woman in love with her job and career. I also felt a little better about my decision to stay in Los Angeles rather than return to New York. LB was an extremely toxic environment, but I learned what I wanted from a workplace, team, and career. Alex J. broke my heart, but he showed me that I can be loved, despite my insecurities all these years of feeling like I couldn’t be. I’ve been studying basic Buddhist principles and have been applying those meditations to my life. I know who my true friends in LA are and now I know more than ever what it means to love myself and to do everything with kindness.

Hopes for 2018 I’m coming into 2018 with the faith and optimism that I can make things go my way, once and for all. I’m finally staying on track to get my body healthy, and now I’m trying to improve my mental health in order to fully achieve a content state in my personal life. I’ve been feeling lonely since even before I started dating Alex J. and really want to meet people who make me feel like I’m home. Yet, it’s hard to put into words the modest confidence and overwhelming humility I have about how this year is gonna be. I’ve learned more than ever how true the phrase “mind over matter” is.

I also learned this: Love is patient, love is kind. Love is freedom. Love and understanding are one in the same. The combination of love and space is called letting go. Apply one more than the other, and the answer may just surprise you.

#personal #2017 #year in review

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wineanddinosaur · 4 years

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7 Virtual Happy Hour Activities and Drinking Game Ideas to Fight Isolation

If you live with roommates or family members, call yourself lucky to have a built-in social network during these times of social distancing — and in that case, you can play pretty much any drinking card game. But if you’re living alone, you may be feeling an urgent need to connect with friends and family, and to have some fun, while in-person visits are on hold.

Fortunately, staying entertained and connected while at home isn’t as difficult as it may seem. And there are many ways to connect in a meaningful way, beyond FaceTime chats. Here are seven virtual happy hour ideas, plus specific recommendations for each, to try while you’re socially distancing.

Classic Drinking Games to Play Online

Start, of course, with a drink in hand — for more see tips on how to have a virtual happy hour here. Sign onto Zoom, Skype, FaceTime, Google Hangouts, or your preferred video calling app with a small group of friends. Then, try playing one of the classic drinking games below.

Never Have I Ever

Never Have I Ever is an easy game to start with. The rules: Each person starts with five fingers held up (your other hand should be free to hold your drink). Taking turns, each person says something they have never done. Those who have done that thing have to put a finger down and take a drink.

Helpful tip: Have a moderator or host call on each person to take their turn, since not everyone appears in the same order on the grid on different video apps.

Some Never Have I Ever statement suggestions to start you off: Never have I ever lived through a pandemic (everyone drinks). Never have I ever bought an entire case of La Croix. Never have I ever argued with someone in the grocery store over toilet paper.

Power Hour

A Power Hour is another easy way to gather friends near and far while socially distanced. All you need is to find a previously prepared playlist of one-minute songs like this one, or prepare a playlist that one person will play and monitor over the hour, changing songs every 60 seconds. How to play: Take a drink every minute. It’s that simple.

As one Twitter user told us last week, “My friends and I did a virtual power hour last Friday, round 2 this weekend.” How did he do it? “One person in charge, dozen people from around the country synchronized over Slack.”

To get some face time into the mix, organize the game as a video call so you can see each other and chat in between — see if you can keep up!

Beer Pong

As Alyson Shontell, editor in chief of Business Insider, tweeted last week, “Virtual beer pong is possible, you just need four phones and FaceTime.” Each couple sets up two phones, one facing them and one facing the set of cups they’ll be shooting at on the opponents’ side. A little advanced, sure, but for those desperate enough to put in the effort, why not?

Possible roadblock: You’ll need to have at least 12 cups and ping pong balls on hand, which seems unlikely in an apocalypse. But maybe you’ve stocked up.

This weekend I did my first virtual hangouts and saw friends we rarely get to see for happy hours. I can also confirm that virtual beer pong is possible, you just need 4 phones and facetime – one on each couple, one on each set of cups. pic.twitter.com/Uhpz8cVP6l

— Alyson Shontell (@ajs) March 23, 2020

Virtual Trivia & Puzzle Games

People around the internet have been touting the Jackbox Party Pack, launched in 2014, as “the perfect excuse for rounding up friends, family and fellow gamers for a few hours of gaming delight.” This delightfully old millennial and generation X-era product’s resurgence is perfect for bringing trivia, drawing, and word games like You Don’t Know Jack (a trivia game like Jeopardy), Drawful (a drawing game like Pictionary), and Word Spud (a fill-in-the-blank word game like Mad Libs) into a virtual happy hour.

Although designed as “local multiplayer” games (as in, playing in the same room), they can be played virtually with remote players via a streaming service. The party pack costs a one-time fee of $24.99 for most platforms (Playstation 3, XBOX One, Nintendo Switch, Apple TV and iPad, and Amazon Fire TV), and at press time, $12.49 for a Steam Code or PlayStation 4.

Detailed directions for how to play Jackbox games remotely are available here.

If game platforms and signup fees seem like too much effort, consider using Zoom or your preferred video platform to play Charades, Pictionary, Trivia, Bingo, or Code Names. The virtual world is your oyster!

Video Game Drinking Games

Online Multiplayer Games

If you have a game system or even a really strong laptop, you might be surprised by how many video games can be turned into drinking games you can play with friends. Popular titles like Overwatch, Fortnite, and even Wii Sports have many drinking game iterations floating around the internet. All you have to do is start up Zoom, agree on your preferred game and rules, and you’re good to go.

VinePair’s director of marketing and resident low-key gamer, Jeff Licciardello, recently riffed on a Super Smash Bros. drinking game for a socially distanced version with two friends.

“While playing online with each other, we had Zoom up in front of us. We [VinePair] have a drinking game article on Super Smash Bros. on our site, so using those rules, I played with one friend on FaceTime and my roommate joined me on the couch for the drinking portion of the game. In terms of people, it’s up to you how many people you can wrangle. But basically … whenever you die you drink, when you’re waiting to fall off the platform after re-spawning, you drink, etc.”

Ideally, players will be fighting each other, but in a pinch (a.k.a. if you can’t get the private room to work), setting up Zoom in front of each player “at least provides a sense of camaraderie as you stream each other fighting random people on the internet while drinking wine,” Jeff says. “And my roommate, who doesn’t play video games but was stuck dealing with me hogging the TV, picked one of the opponents I was fighting and drank for them.”

Another pearl of Jeff’s drinking-while-gaming wisdom: “For the ultimate Mario Kart drinking game that doesn’t require a whole lot of thinking, simply drink every time you are hit by an item (shells, banana peels, lightning bolts, etc.) or every time you fall off the course.”

Online 1-2 Player Games

Although video game drinking games can be created for almost any game, try picking one you and your friends are playing right now (Animal Crossing: New Horizons, anyone?). You can set up FaceTime or Zoom on your phone, tablet, or laptop to see and hear each other while playing. And all you have to do is come up with five to 10 “rules” that will require taking a sip of your drink while playing.

To stay with the Animal Crossing example, players might take a drink every time you find a bug, donate to the museum, or acquire a new item for your house. Then, you can add a little more complexity to the rules: For finding your first bug, take three sips; for each subsequent bug, take one sip if it’s a bug you already have, three sips if it’s a new bug, and four sips for donating to the museum (it will make sense once you get going.).

This can also apply to social interactions in the game. When you receive a gift, take one sip; when you give a gift, take two sips; when you meet a new in-game friend like Bill (the duck) or Reneigh (the horse) or that crazy squirrel chick, Caroline (a personal favorite), take three sips; and when you visit an IRL friend’s island, finish your drink.

Have a Watch Party

Playing drinking games while watching movies or series is a popular choice, and an easy one to replicate in the virtual world. In March, Google Chrome launched an extension for Netflix Party, a new feature that synchronizes video playback, allowing you to stream and watch movies and shows simultaneously. It also adds a group chat so you can message each other throughout.

Choose a theme to make the experience easily repeatable. Oscar movies or zombie flicks, for example, are readily available. For groups of friends whose anxieties are assuaged by horror, now is a wonderful time to marathon appropriately themed works depicting hyperbolized disaster and trauma.

Try a topical double-feature of “Pandemic” and “Parasite”; a home invasion pairing like “The Strangers,” parts one and two; or a triple-feature of “Cube” or “Purge.” Or, make it a week-long marathon and stream every episode of the nation’s new Netflix obsession, “Tiger King” — it’s a seven-parter!

You can turn any watch party into a drinking game. For example, as VinePair’s Licciardello suggests for one of our staff’s favorite series, “Schitt’s Creek,” everyone has to drink any time Alexis says, “Ew, David!” If you’re not in virtual earshot, you can also use the group chat to direct when it’s time to drink. Along with text, the chatroom supports screenshots, emojis, and GIFs.

Another angle might be (and we’re biased here) taking turns choosing content about wine, beer, and spirits — such as the just-released “Uncorked,” which VinePair contributor Julia Coney describes as breaking new ground for black wine drinkers.

Have a Dance Party

Let off some steam and pent-up energy by hosting a virtual dance party. You can do this in any video conferencing app, or use a platform like Houseparty.

As in real life, a dance party can take many forms. Perhaps it’s a dance-off between you and one very energetic friend. For a group together, invite friends you used to go out dancing with every weekend, and recreate a playlist you would have been sloppily sipping and dancing to at a club or bar.

Crack some glow sticks (if you’re the type of person who has stocked for a dance-party emergency), sip on some easy-to-make cocktails, and dance like no one’s watching. Because chances are, even if your neighbors can see you, you likely won’t encounter them in person for a very long time.

The article 7 Virtual Happy Hour Activities and Drinking Game Ideas to Fight Isolation appeared first on VinePair.

source https://vinepair.com/articles/best-virtual-happy-hour-games-ideas-activities/

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artificialqueens · 4 years

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When I have you, wanna leave you (when you go, that's when I need you) (branjie) - writworm42

A/N: For sohytes, who asked for jealous Brooke. MERRY CHRISTMAS BINCH <3 I know it’s early, but I started this today and COULD NOT STOP. Thank you Holtz for beta-ing and barbie for making sure my Spanish was correct fhdjskh

Title from Waves by Normani ft 6LACK

Jose is having a fine time without Brock, and it’s killing him.

Brock knows that he shouldn’t have looked at Instagram. Not today. He should have given his phone to Steve, should have holed himself up with his family, focused more on that than on his social media feed. But the fans wanted a Christmas Eve message, and so he went live to wish them all happy holidays and torture them with an ugly sweater look sure to make them groan for weeks, and then, well. If he has his phone, checking others’ stories is just automatic.

Only then Vanessa goes live. Not as Vanjie, but as Jose, on his private, personal account. Jose spins the camera around in his usual erratic, enthusiastic manner, shouting and screaming at the hectic family scene unfolding in front of the lens.

“ Live and in colour, the Cancel family Christmas dinner, hoes–Hey! HEY! MAMI! BAJA EL CUCHILLO–”

Brock is the only person viewing; he can see it, the ‘1’ in the corner of the screen speaking for itself in terms of displaying what a pathetic, desperate loser he is. What a pathetic, desperate loser he looks like. Jose probably knows that ‘1’ is Brock, too; it’s a thought that adds insult to injury, yet he can’t bring himself to look away.

Just then, the ‘1’ changes to a ‘2,’ and Brock relaxes–he’s not the only one watching. He’s not the only one who cares what Jose’s doing right now. Sure, he still has no business caring in the first place, but at the very least, he’s not the only one.

His relief is short-lived, though, when Jose’s attention is pulled back on-screen.

“AIDAN!!!” he screams, his voice high-pitched and excited, just like it used to be whenever he saw Brock’s name pop on his screen. “HOW YOU DOIN’, BOO?”

Brock doesn’t wait for Aidan to write anything back, or to request to join, or for Jose to say anything else; he just closes the window and throws his phone onto the next available surface, disgust washing through him like a wave.

Jose has said time and time again that he and Aidan aren’t a thing; that they’re just friends, just like he and Brock are just friends. It’s an expression that’s far from comforting for Brock, considering that every time he and Jose are in the same room, electricity still crackles like it did a year ago, their eyes lingering on each other like the first time they de-dragged in front of each other and smiles plastered on their faces like every other time they’ve been together, laughs rolling and love palpable between them.

None of that has changed, so why does it hurt?

Maybe it’s because it’s their first Christmas without each other, like really without each other, not calling or skyping or texting, bouncing between I love yous and I wanna see yous and other things that Brock likes to think about when he’s alone at night and can’t sleep. Maybe it’s because Brock misses Jose, wants him back by his side as more than just a friend.

Or maybe it’s just because he can’t stand Aidan, and just because he and Jose aren’t together doesn’t mean he’s not still Brock’s.

So he’s a little possessive; sue him. Sometimes, things are worth the agitation.

He plans to leave the phone there, to just go and spend the rest of the night with his family like he should have in the first place, when it vibrates from its place on Brock’s bedside table, so suddenly he almost jumps in surprise.

J: Hey, merry Christmas!

A second text pops up a moment later, a string of orange hearts and Christmas trees that should make Brock smile– would make Brock smile, if it weren’t for the sound of Jose screaming Aidan’s name that kept replaying over and over again in his mind.

He has two options. Be forgiving, or be petty. Be the bigger person, or get down to Jose’s level whenever Jose himself is mad and decides it’s time to give Brock the silent treatment. Kill him with kindness, or kill him with indifference instead.

Hell, he should just kill Aidan instead, maybe that’d solve all his problems.

He shakes off the thought, inhaling sharply before clicking on the text window to type his reply.

Just a Santa Claus emoji; that’s all Jose deserves, so that’s all Brock is gonna leave. One little image, on theme, saying everything he’s feeling without letting it pour out directly.

He picks up the phone again within five seconds and types out a follow-up before he can stop himself.

B: How’s Aidan?

The three dots pop up almost instantly, typing furiously before the texts start to pour in, as mile-a-minute as anything that would have come out of Jose’s mouth.

J: Bitch, really?

J: I told you. We ain’t nothing.

J: Shit.

J: You was on that live too, and we ain’t foolin around rn. So how u know me & Aidan are???

Brock’s breath hitches in his throat, his cheeks suddenly burning with shame. Jose is right; he doesn’t know that Jose and Aidan are fooling around. But he’s also sure that Jose knows why he was on that live in the first place; isn’t it possible that Aidan was after the same thing?

B: I also didn’t get a shoutout like he did

It’s petulant and childish, but he can’t bring himself to care. Not now, not when Aidan gets to hear his name on Jose’s lips and all Brock gets is a lousy text.

J: I woulda but I barely had the chance! You left the minute I said his name, bitch

He should go. He should abandon this fight before he loses it, because he knows he doesn’t have an argument or an excuse. He has no right to be jealous, especially since he can tell that Jose isn’t lying; that isn’t Jose.

But then another text comes through, and Brock can’t help but look despite the fear of what might it contain.

J: what do u want from me, Brock?

J: we said we wouldn’t do this no more.

You said we wouldn’t do this! Brock wants to scream, but he can’t—that’s not him. No, as far as he and Jose are concerned, he’s the adult; he lets things go when Jose won’t. And Jose begged Brock to let go, because he couldn’t.

Maybe Brock isn’t as grown up as either of them thought he was.

Fuck it. Brock licks his lips and coughs, suddenly realizing how dry his throat has become. Exhaling shakily, he squeezes his eyes shut and presses a button on the screen, and then the phone begins to ring.

“What, bitch?” Brock’s eyes snap open to see Jose’s face, and even though he looks pissed as Hell, Brock feels relieved.

Now if only he knew what to say. He starts with the only thing that can come to mind.

“Jo, I’m–I’m sorry.” he sighs, closing his eyes again, hoping to block out the world again. But his world is on the other side of the FaceTime call, and he’s waiting for an answer, so Brock looks again, looks back at the unamused face and the hint of concern, of caring, that still lingers Jose’s eyes. “I shouldn’t have gotten jealous. I–I just… I just…”

I need you so badly. I want you here. I’m a stupid, selfish child and I can’t stand the thought of not having you to myself. I need you more than anything else right now. I don’t want to be alone. I don’t want to let you go.

“I miss you.”

Brock stares at Jose in shock, his heart suddenly torn between speeding up and stopping altogether. Jose rolls his eyes and sighs, covering his face in his hands.

“Brock, look… I just can’t do this no more. All this up and down and back and forth. Me gettin’ jealous and you… You barely seemed to care a lot of the time.”

I do care! Brock wants to yell, wants to make Jose understand just how wrong he is, but Jose isn’t done, and Brock knows that. So instead, he bites his lips, forces down the argument bubbling in his throat, and listens.

“To tell you the truth, only reason I shouted Aidan out was ‘cause I knew you was watching.” Jose confessed. “I wanted to see you get jealous, ‘cause… ‘Cause I knew you’d call.”

What? Brock feels a pit open up in his stomach, one that’s quickly swallowed up by a rush of fire. All of this was just a game, a stupid ruse to mess with Brock’s head, get him up in his feelings, as if Jose didn’t know that he could have just said he wanted to talk to Brock, just fucking called him if he wanted to hear his voice or see his face. It’s inexcusable, and Brock can barely contain the dizzying anger coursing through his veins as he finally chokes out the one question on his mind.

“Why didn’t you just–”

But he doesn’t get the question out–he doesn’t get the chance.

“Because I told you to stay away, and I was too proud to be the one who cracked!” Jose yells, cutting Brock off completely and continuing to speak so fast and breathlessly that Brock couldn’t regain control of the conversation if he tried. “I’m always the one who cracks, Brock. Always. I’m always the one who wants you back. Just once, I wanted you to be the one who was begging for me.”

Brock isn’t sure what to say to that, so he hangs up without a word.

Jose keeps texting him for the rest of the night, but he doesn’t bother responding. Not because he’s angry–he is angry, angry that Jose is always the one to cut things off, then always the one to bring things back together. But at the same time, he’s strangely… Well, maybe happy isn’t the right word, but in an odd way, he’s almost… Hopeful. Hopeful that Jose wants him back as bad as he wants Jose. Hopeful that if he plays his cards right, this time, things will stick.

So he doesn’t ignore Jose because he’s angry; he ignores Jose because he’s thinking, looking at his cards, deciding what hand to play.

He wakes up the next morning with a hangover and a buzzing phone.

“Merry Christmas.” he croaks, rubbing sleep from his eyes.

“We got unfinished business.” Jose hisses, his voice gravelly and tired, and Brock realizes with a pang of guilt that the man hasn’t slept. “I been trying to get you to talk to me all last night.”

“I’m sorry.” Brock forces himself up, sighing deeply. “I wasn’t ignoring you, I was just–”

“I know. You was trying to think. I get it.”

“Yeah.”

There’s silence, heavy and suffocating, when suddenly, Brock finds his words.

Not the words he practiced; only the ones he feels.

“I miss you a ton.” he confesses, cursing himself for going off-script, but knowing that whatever happens, he absolutely can’t stop. “Like, more than anything else. You already know that. I just–I wanted to do what you wanted, Jo. You’re always so strong and–and sure of what you want. At least, you look that way. And when I see that, when I see you getting so passionate and advocating for yourself like that… I just love you too much, Jo. I can’t stand not giving you what you want. Even what you want isn’t me.”

More silence, and Brock’s chest tightens with fear that he might have said too much, or said the wrong thing, and that Jose is even more upset than when he first opened his mouth. But then Jose laughs, hollow and short, and somehow, Brock knows he’s finally done something right.

“I really have made a mess, huh?” Jose keeps laughing, though his voice is remorseful, maybe even apologetic. “I’m sorry, toes.”

“I know.” Brock feels himself relax for the first time since the night before, tension leaving his shoulders and back like hundred-pound weights being lifted from his body. “I’m sorry, too.”

“So… we gonna try again now? Is that where this is going?” there’s an edge of hope to the question, and, just for a moment, Brock can’t help but get caught up in it too, can’t help but imagine finally being able to hold Jose in his arms again, say what’s always on his mind again.

Only then he hears stirring in the house, his family finally waking up and filing into the kitchen, and he’s brought back to reality again.

“I’m not sure we’re ready yet.” he sighs, because he hates this, hates being the one to let Jose down again , but he knows without a doubt that he’s right. They’re not ready yet–not if this time is going to be the last. There’s too much pain, too much debris from their last attempts that they’ve still got to clean up first.

Jose says nothing, and that’s all the confirmation Brock needs to understand that Jose knows it, too.

“So what, then?” Jose asks, noise beginning to sound in the background on his end of the line, too. Fuck. They’re almost out of time, and they’ve only just started to actually get somewhere. Typical.

Someone calls Brock’s name, and he’s about to rush out of his room to answer them, when suddenly, something snaps, and he finds his feet rooted to the ground. Maybe it’s the adrenaline; maybe it’s some kind of bravado; heck, maybe it’s Christmas magic. Or maybe, just maybe, it’s just the knowledge and hope that finally, he and Jose might do things right. For whatever reason, Brock decides that he’s finally going to break the chain, finally going to stand his ground, even if it means everyone else is waiting for him to start breakfast.

Because sometimes, things are worth getting in trouble with your family for.

“Maybe we start with a few more phone calls, then a date?” he suggests.

“A few more phone calls then a date sounds good.” Jose agrees, and Brock swears he can practically hear the smile that he’s sure is spreading on the other man’s face. “We’ll take it slow, get to know each other again.”

“Sounds good.” Brock nods. “So…”

“So merry Christmas, Brock.” Jose laughs, “Don’t screw up this time, alright?”

“Alright.” Brock grins, his heartbeat picking up. “Merry Christmas, Jo.”

“Talk to you later, toes.”

“Bye.”

He doesn’t say I love you; not yet, it’s not the time. But that will come later.

For now, he’ll savour the gift of a second chance.

#rpdr fanfiction #brooke lynn hytes #vanessa vanjie mateo #branjie #angst #holiday fic #for writworm42

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johnboothus · 4 years

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7 Virtual Happy Hour Activities and Drinking Game Ideas to Fight Isolation

Classic Drinking Games to Play Online

Never Have I Ever

Helpful tip: Have a moderator or host call on each person to take their turn, since not everyone appears in the same order on the grid on different video apps.

Power Hour

To get some face time into the mix, organize the game as a video call so you can see each other and chat in between — see if you can keep up!

Beer Pong

Possible roadblock: You’ll need to have at least 12 cups and ping pong balls on hand, which seems unlikely in an apocalypse. But maybe you’ve stocked up.

— Alyson Shontell (@ajs) March 23, 2020

Virtual Trivia & Puzzle Games

Detailed directions for how to play Jackbox games remotely are available here.

If game platforms and signup fees seem like too much effort, consider using Zoom or your preferred video platform to play Charades, Pictionary, Trivia, or Bingo. The socially isolated world is your oyster!

Video Game Drinking Games

Online Multiplayer Games

VinePair’s director of marketing and resident low-key gamer, Jeff Licciardello, recently riffed on a Super Smash Bros. drinking game for a socially distanced version with two friends.

Online 1-2 Player Games

This can also apply to social interactions in the game. When you receive a gift, take one sip; when you give a gift, take two sips; when you meet a new in-game friend like Bill or that horse or that crazy tiger chick, take three sips; and when you visit an IRL friend’s island, finish your drink.

Have a Watch Party

Try a disease double-feature of “Pandemic” and “Parasite”; a home invasion pairing like “The Strangers,” parts one and two; or a triple-feature of “Cube” or “Purge.” Or, make it a week-long marathon and stream every episode of the nation’s new Netflix obsession, “Tiger King” — it’s a seven-parter!

Have a Dance Party

Let off some steam and pent-up energy by hosting a virtual dance party. You can do this in any video conferencing app, or use a platform like Houseparty.

The article 7 Virtual Happy Hour Activities and Drinking Game Ideas to Fight Isolation appeared first on VinePair.

Via https://vinepair.com/articles/best-virtual-happy-hour-games-ideas-activities/

source https://vinology1.weebly.com/blog/7-virtual-happy-hour-activities-and-drinking-game-ideas-to-fight-isolation

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