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#so this is going to sound selfish and stupid and probably entitled and all the other bad things but im tired of pretending
centralperkchenford · 3 months
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Tim finds an old valentines letter/card Lucy wrote but never sent whilst he was with Ashley 🥰🥰
First Valentine’s Day story 💗. I hope you like this!
Tim finds an old valentines letter/card Lucy wrote but never sent whilst he was with Ashley 🥰🥰
Love letters straight from your heart
Tim grumbles as he rummages through the drawers. He’s looking for a flashlight and his girlfriend apparently doesn’t have one or one that has batteries. He makes a mental note to update all her emergency items. Just in case.
He pulls out a stack of papers and puts them on the counter, shaking his head and peering into the drawer but there’s no flash light. He picks up the stack of papers and puts them back in making another note to organize this drawer. And maybe the other ones too.
Something falls to the floor and he bends down to pick it up. It’s a Valentine’s Day card with a cheesy saying on front. He furrows his brows wondering if it’s from an old boyfriend or something.
His curiosity takes over even though if it’s from Chris he might puke. It’s bad enough Lucy dated him for so long. The thought of Chris writing her a Valentine’s Day card makes him shudder. But it’s not from Chris. In fact it’s not any ex boyfriend. It’s from Lucy to Tim.
He sits down on one of the stools and reads.
Tim,
This is stupid and I know you are with Ashley and are probably spending Valentine’s Day with her. But this is my way of getting my feelings out, I know I ruined things when we were in Vegas and I’m sorry. I am. But I lied. It did mean something, that kiss was everything and I know it’s my fault but it hurts me seeing you with Ashley.
When you “proposed” to her my heart broke. And I didn’t want to show it so I didn’t and I thought I could move on but.. then that kiss and the next kiss.
I know I’m too late you are happy with Ashley and I should be happy with Chris. I should move on like you told me too but…
It doesn’t matter you will never see me that way, it wasn’t pretend to me and I hope you can forgive me.
I don’t know if this letter will ever get to you but.
You will always have my love.
Lucy
Tim stares at the words on the card, his mind racing. His heart feeling like it could be right out of his chest.
It wasn’t pretend to her. She lied.
He had a feeling she wasn’t telling the truth in Vegas but he didn’t want to push her too much. So he didn’t and he really wish he had. They could of had what they had now sooner.
He rereads the letter and shakes his head at the Ashley part, the fake proposal was suppose to be a joke and nothing more. He never meant to hurt Lucy. He wasn’t happy with Ashley back then he just wasn’t ready to admit it. She was a guard for his feelings for Lucy. She was selfish, self absorbed and entitled. She really thought he would retire for her. She wasn’t the one, he loved his job and would never give it up.
Until Lucy. Because she was worth the risk.
He didn’t regret not even a little bit, and he would do it all over again for her.
He’s so into rereading he doesn’t hear the door open and he doesn’t hear the voice calling his name.
“Tim!” Lucy’s voice rings next to him. He looks over to see Lucy staring at him, her eyes full of concern. “Are you okay?”
He swallows and picks up the card, and her eyes go to it. “What’s that?” She asks but by the time of her voice, she knows exactly what it is.
“I found it.” He says gesturing to the drawer. “You don’t have any flashlights.”
Lucy lets out a laugh although it sounds a bit weak. “Sorry.”
“Lucy.” He says and he steps closer to her. “Did you have feelings for me in Vegas?” Lucy swallows and looks at the card again and then at Tim.
“Yes.” She says. “But I didn’t realize it until it was too late.. I’m sorry I lied Tim. I just didn’t know how to handle it and—”
“Luce.” He says softly. “Baby, it’s me. You could have told me.”
“I couldn’t Tim! We were both in relationships and I didn’t want to mess up what we had!”Lucy says and she sounds frustrated. “You are the most important person in my life. And I wasn’t going to ruin that.”
Tim smiles softly and tucks some hair behind her ear. “Remember what I told you Lucy? You deserve someone who is worth the effort. And even when things get tough I know we will put in the effort.”
Lucy smiles too though it doesn’t quite meet her eyes. “I know and I love you for that. But I can’t help but think if I hadn’t lied..we might have stopped being stupid sooner.” She says softly.
“I thought of that too.” Tim admits. “But I think we did it right Luce. We got together exactly when we were supposed to.”
Lucy smiles again and this time it’s more of a her smile. “Yeah I guess you are right.” She takes the card out of his hands and tosses it aside and then kisses him. He kisses her back, and lifts her up putting her on the counter.
“I love you.” He says. “I wouldn’t have it any other way than the way we are right now.” Lucy leans forward to kiss him her legs wrapping around him.
“Yeah me neither.” Lucy says softly. And he pulls back to look at her. She’s beautiful and glowing and all his.
“So how many letters did you write to me?” He asks teasingly his hand going down her back and pulling her closer.
“Just that one.” She says against his lips. “Or maybe I have more you will never find them though.”
He laughs pulling her off the counter and walking them back towards her room. The abandoned card on the ground. The search for the flashlight forgotten. They didn’t need to write secret love letter anymore. Tim thinks as he lays Lucy down on the bed, they could say everything out loud and that’s exactly what he was going to do.
Tell her how happy he was that they took the risk. The jump.
How he loves her, and he’s going to do that hopefully for the rest of their lives. And he’s perfectly content with that.
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depresseddepot · 5 years
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I don't know how to make a keep reading post on mobile so don't read the tags if you don't want to read a vent lmao
#so this is going to sound selfish and stupid and probably entitled and all the other bad things but im tired of pretending#every single oc i make that has depression or every single character i like that has depression has always had a reason#like nobody knows who any of these fucking characters are but hear me out anyways#aepsthis has depression because his mother figure died#my Self Insert TM has depression bc her mother was abusive and her father absent#vaughn has depression because she was sexually assaulted three times before she was old enough to know what that meant#vanessa has depression because her father sexually abused her for years and when she finally met someone who didn't equate sex with (1)#violence he died and their baby was born a miscarriage.#the only character i have that ORIGINALLY didn't have a sound reason for being depressed was emil#but even now ive altered his backstory to make the depression part make more sense#here comes the selfish part uwu#i dont have a reason to be depressed?? like we were poor but my parents never showed it. my dad was scary and threatening but he wasn't mean#my mom would have sat and listened to me if i wanted to talk about something#nobody that i was super close to has died except for pets (dont get me started)#my cousin molested me when i was young and that sucked sure but i was so young that i didnt know what was happening so like#i can't blame all of my problems on that one occurrence#bc the ones i have and the ones that develop after that sort of thing are only minimally connected at best#i give all of my ocs tragic backgrounds to try and make sense of the reason why they have depression#but i dont even have a reason for having it#like im so convinced that im faking it or that other people will thing im being a whiny bitch bc nothing bad has happened to me#im white my parents are still together i can afford things i work at a job i like#i did and still do good in school i have pets and at least a couple hobbies#so im really super fucking confused lol#like i cant just be like#hey i have no reason to be depressed my life is great but hahahhaa i think i have depression uwu#because everyone will think im doing it for attention#idk i know my depression is still valid despite not having any traceable reasoning but#i feel like asking for help just takes up space that could be used to help people who need it more#and i cant ask for help when i feel like their talents would be better spent helping a kid who actually needs and deserves it#neither of the futures i can see for myself are ideal and i dont want to choose between a lesser evil or suicide
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akookminsupporter · 2 years
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What is bts doing ?
All other groups, 4th gens, are getting the US labels, a 4 year old group charting #1 in billboard 200 with a minialbum, another getting a grammy interview, a 2nd gen top group coming back.
I know you don't talk about other groups and I'm not asking about any of them. So please consider answering. I really need one.
Im asking about bts. It's been 14 months since they've released an album and almost a year an ot7 bts song. All their achievements are being taken over by others and they are sitting and selling some merches and games ????
Where's the bts I stanned ? Where's their music? Where's the passion all members were filled with ?
I'm really done, atleast release a single and don't worry anymore you have army who will do all the hardwork so you can bag all awards right ? Atleast released a album with all leftover songs so it will be charting everywhere and get nominated in those year end k awards.
Im done Rosie. They better know what's their job and release their music or else everything they did or everything army worked for will soon be taken over by others.
This message is frankly stupid and entitled.
Are you so selfish and honestly naive to think that no other group besides bts would ever achieve things like joining a US label or getting on the billboard charts?
What is BTS doing?
Preparing for 4 sold out concerts in Las Vegas. Plus they are rumored to be doing concerts in NY as well.
Getting ready to attend and perform at the Grammys.
Preparing for their next album
Preparing probably individual mixtapes.
Enjoying their personal lives, probably for the first time since 2013.
If you're done anon, you can go.
And maybe this sounds harsh and rude but I'm tired of messages like this. I'm tired of fans believing and wanting BTS to be a machine, to just dance and release albums or songs every 3 months. That they think they MUST win everything because if they don't it means they don't care about their work anymore or worse, that another group will win instead of them, the horror!
Personally, I'm glad they are taking their time for EVERYTHING. That they are enjoying the process and are working on lighter things. I am happy that they have the opportunity to go out or visit friends, to go on holiday. To just rest.
BTS will release a new album or song when they think it's the perfect time.
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h2bakugou · 3 years
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Hi! Can I please request some headcanons for Izuku, Katsuki, Shouto, and Denki with an s/o who doesn’t like getting into arguments and will always try to avoid getting into one with their boyfriends either by compromising and/or just throwing in the towel and just admitting that whatever their boyfriend said is right and it’s because they didn’t have a great home life growing up and want to avoid becoming like their parents and the boys finding out and their reaction to that? Thanks!
a/n: hiya!! of course hun! i did a similar argument hc a while ago, but this one is vastly different in a few ways!! thank you for the request love!!
headcanon: them reacting to their s/o’s refusal to argue with them
key: (y/n) - your name / (f/n) - first name / (l/n) - last name / (e/c) - eye color / (h/c) - hair color / (y/q) - your quirk
warnings: fluff, swearing, some angst, one mention of sky high, endeavor is trying™
;cut for length;
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izuku midoriya
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Surprisingly enough, there are a good number of times you’ve had an argument arise with Deku.
Not the ones where you playfully tease him about not sitting with you on the long trips you took as a class to places.
But the ones where you’d find him training for hours on end with no text or call to let you know that he’d be running late for a date, or a study session.
The ones where he’s so caught up in everything else that he doesn’t really make time to focus on your relationship.
Which wouldn’t be that big of a deal, had he just told you upfront that he was busy. But with the promise of always finding a way to make time for you, you were beginning to feel like maybe there was someone else, or maybe he didn’t really like you, like you thought he did.
But even when you were upset or angry, and Deku cornered you to talk about it, you’d shut him out and tell him it was fine, and that it really wasn’t his fault. It was yours for being so devoted to a relationship during such a serious time.
But Deku knew it was more than that.
Every time you seemed upset, or angry, or frustrated by something that seemed like something he’d done or may have had a part in, you always shut him down, telling him you’d get over it like an adult, and handle it.
“You don’t have to handle everything by yourself, let’s just talk about it, why are you feeling like this? You can talk to me, you know I’ll listen.” Deku’s comforting arms wrapped around you, preventing you from leaving this time around.
He’d spent maybe a few too many hours trying to learn some new moves and forgot that he was supposed to text you after the first hour to check up on you and your studies.
And when he finally came back after a shower, he realized you’d sent him a few texts asking if he was okay and if he was going to be done training soon.
“It’s fine, Izu’. I have some work I have to finish-”
“It’s not fine. I upset you, I’m sorry. But please talk to me. Why are you always trying to dismiss what actually happened?” Deku tried to capture gaze, only to find your lashes sprinkled with tears as you gave a shaky breath.
“I just don’t want us to end up like my parents. All they did was fight and argue.” You’d never really told anyone about that. Let alone anyone you’d been in a relationship with. 
In that moment, all Izuku could do was hold you closer, laying his head in the crook of your neck.
“I’m sorry. I should take your feelings into account when I make promises to you. I apologize for not keeping those promises.” Deku pulled back and looked into your eyes.
“And please don’t be afraid to talk to me. I know that’s scary to think about, but if I make you upset, just talk to me, we don’t have to scream or fight, we can have a civilized conversation together about something, and if you feel like we can’t, we can always have our friends help if you’re comfortable with that.” Izuku smiled softly, swiping his thumbs over your cheeks to wipe your tears away.
You pushed a small smile onto your lips, resting your face back on his chest as he held you close.
“I’m sorry too.” You apologized.
“Don’t be, it’s okay. Why don’t we watch a funny movie and relax? I can make us some popcorn!” Izuku was ready with some cheesy hero movie on hand, probably one about some superhero high school with a magical flying bus and a protagonist whose parents were the top heroes, a plot you’d begun to see more and more often these days with the progression of hero society.
“Sounds like a plan.” You giggled.
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katsuki bakugou
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Bakugou argues with you because you won’t argue with him-
On a serious note, most of your ‘arguments’ start because he feels like you don’t trust him enough to talk to him about your feelings.
If you are upset with him for something, or if you feel an argument coming on, you’ll dismiss yourself, your feelings, say he’s right, and just back down.
And we all know Bakugou will not go down without a fight example a, the sports festival.
He gets defensive, if not a little more agitated when you don’t tell him what’s going on. Not that he’s entitled to know how you’re feeling constantly, but because if he’s going to be in a relationship, he wants communication between the two of you.
If there’s something you can’t communicate to each other, then it doesn’t need to happen or there’s a problem somewhere.
Which is why when you say that it’s nothing, or that you aren’t upset when he knows that that’s utter fucking bullshit, he gets angry. 
He won’t take his anger out on you, he’s not that kind of asshole. 
Even though he hates the assholes, he sometimes drops little clues to Kirishima or Sero.
But overall, he just wants to talk it out with you. He wants to understand what’s going on, why you’re feeling the way you are, what-if there’s anything-he can do differently to help you feel better or to prevent this feeling from happening again.
It all crumbles apart when Bakugou said he’d help you with some math homework that you’d be struggling on.
Only for him to be four hours late because he was sitting in detention for sparking a fight with some shit-talking smartass from a support class.
That night you had struggled to answer the problems on your homework, only to bomb the pop quiz on the same subject the next day. It was a mess, and you were upset.
Your grades of course were not Bakugou’s responsibility, but his responsibility was to at least give you a heads-up that the study session would’ve been moved, or cancelled.
Instead you stayed up way to late trying to understand problems that weren’t making any sense, and now your grade was sitting in a hole.
So you were upset. 
But when Bakugou questioned why you were so quiet around him, you just shrugged your shoulders.
“What gives? You not talkin’ to me or something?” Bakugou wasn’t exactly sure why you were mad at him until you packed up your things at the common room table, your low grade on the pop quiz and homework proving why you were in a bad mood.
And then Bakugou realized that was the homework he said he’d help you with.
“Shit, that was due Tuesday wasn’t it.” Bakugou grumbled.
“Yeah.” You mumbled.
“Hey what’s wrong with you? Did I do somethin’? Why you fuckin’ ignoring me and shit?” Bakugou’s fowl language was something you were used to. He wasn’t angry, he was confused, though his vocabulary could’ve fooled you.
“It’s nothing, you didn’t do anything, I’ve got to study to get this grade up, I’ll see you tomorrow.” You pushed on without another word, trying to escape back to your dorm.
At the mention of the word study, Bakugou then remembered the promised study session.
“Hey wait! I was supposed to help you do that shit, let’s go work on-”
“It’s fine, I got it. Go do whatever you want.” You didn’t look at him.
“No, now cut the bullshit let’s go study.” Bakugou tugged you up toward his dorm.
Inside you stood holding your things, your emotions beginning to bubble over as you watched him look for his bag, a stray bandage over his cheek from the punch the kid had thrown at him. Just staring at it made you upset.
“Why did you do it?” You asked quietly, your voice wavering.
“What? Do what?” Bakugou responded.
“I just wanted you to help me and...you-” You stopped yourself, realizing it was selfish to think it was Bakugou’s job to help you exceed in class. Shaking your head you held your things tightly and turned to leave.
“I’m sorry, I’m not feeling well-”
“Bullshit, what the fuck is goin’ on with you? You’re upset, I know you are, what’s the problem?” Bakugou stopped you from leaving, almost forcing you to sit on his bed and explain why you were so distant.
“No- it’s not fair to you, I can’t do this, I can’t argue with you over something so stupid, I don’t want to end up like my fucking parents.” You were crying at this point, tears flooding from your eyes as you dropped your things, your books scattering across his bed as you fell into his arms.
“Are you talking about the fight? You have to communicate with me if you want me to help you. Can you at least tell me what you’re feeling?” Bakugou wanted to help, but with no information, there was little he could do.
“I was just so frustrated, because I was looking forward to studying, and then I found out you were in that stupid fight and I felt like I was all alone, like you’d deserted me and so I just tried to do it on my own and I messed up, and I felt like it was all your fault. I know it’s not. Had I just talked to you we could’ve studied and I would’ve done fine.” You broke down, sobbing into his warm embrace.
“I’m sorry. Just call me out on my bullshit, okay? It’s not right that you gotta’ be affected by my own stupid actions.” Bakugou tugged you back from him to place a gentle kiss on your forehead.
“Why don’t we try and do a few practice problems to help you better understand the material?” Bakugou offered, stroking his thumb over your cheeks to wipe your tears.
“Yeah, that sounds nice.”
After some silence of Bakugou helping you work through the problems, you thanked him silently with a long hug, just resting your head on his chest. He didn’t ask any questions about the comment you’d made, he knew it was probably a sensitive topic.
But he’d be there when you were ready to talk about it.
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shoto todoroki
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Todoroki doesn’t really like to argue, not like full on yelling and screaming at least.
If he’s having an argument, he’ll try his best to be civil about it, but sometimes he can get a little heated and possibly raise his voice.
He’s always been fairly outspoken, having to usually bide by someone else’s rules that he barely thinks for himself, but as of late, he’s doing himself a favor and being his own person, living by his own rules, and sometimes that means bucking up against others when they’re incorrect.
But when it comes to you, he can’t really see himself arguing with you, at least over little things.
However, he des find it rather upsetting that you didn’t mention you’d ran into his dad a couple days ago.
You’d just been out shopping and happened to bump into the pro and you said your hello’s, conversed for a few second about school before both continuing on with your day.
You didn’t think it was all that important, and for the most part you’d kind of forgotten about the entire incident.
You’d met Shoto’s father a few times before, which is why he recognized you as his son’s significant other.
So when Enji just so happened to mention the little meeting at a ‘family lunch’ on the weekend, Shoto was a bit surprised, and a bit concerned about the run-in.
Considering the first time Shoto introduced you to his father as his significant other, Enji was a bit opposed to the idea of his son having a relationship, but eventually he grew fond of you, thinking that it might be a good idea for his son to have something normal like a relationship, and go on dates, and live like a teenager.
Worried that he might’ve said something rude, Shoto brought it up in his room after eating lunch.
“Why didn’t you mention running into my father?” Shoto asked bluntly as he sat on his bed, watching as you straightened out your sweater.
“I didn’t really remember it when I came back to the dorms, it was quick, just said hi and talked about school for a few seconds before we went our separate ways.” 
“If it happens again just tell me, I don’t know what he’s thinking, just because he says he’s okay with us together doesn’t mean that’s what he really wants.” Shoto was almost dismissive of the fact that his father had actually just seen his son’s s/o in public, stopped to say hi and then get back to his busy day.
“It wasn’t anything like that, he seemed fine. He was busy, if he was upset it was probably just because he’d had a long day.” You lowered your voice, bowing your head before speaking again.
“I should’ve told you, I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad at me.” You were on the offense now, leaving your old statement in the past.
“What? Be mad at you? I’m not mad, I’m just concerned.” Shoto stood up and walked over to you, quickly noticing how emotional you’d become.
“Hey did I say something wrong? Please don’t dry, what’s going on, talk to me.” Shoto lifted your chin only to see your eyelashes coated in tears.
“I’m sorry! You’re right I should’ve told you-”
“Hey, hey, shhh.” Shoto hugged you, his warm arms wrapping around you as he held you close.
“You don’t have to side with me, if he was nice I believe you. Are you alright?” He asked pulling away to wipe the tears from your cheeks.
“I just-I didn’t want us to argue or fight like my parents and I just didn’t want you to be mad-”
“Hey, it’s okay. I’m not mad, and we don’t have to argue, we’re just talking, we’re not arguing, okay? It’s okay.” Shoto comforted you, allowing his hands to rub your back.
“I’m sorry.” You cried softly as he led you back to his bed to sit.
“Don’t apologize, it’s okay to feel differently than me, it doesn’t mean I’m mad or upset at you. I’m here to listen when you need me to, please don’t feel afraid to talk to me.”  
Lifting your head to look at Sho, you pushed a small smile onto your lips.
“Your hand is cold.” You nudged his right arm, his hand touching your skin under the hem of your shirt as he held you close to him.
“Sorry.” He smiled, wiggling his fingers to tickle you.
“Hey! They’re cold!” You laughed through your tears, trying to get away from his icy fingers.
“I love you.”
“I love you too.” You pressed a small kiss to the back of his right hand, his cool skin resting against your lips.
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denki kaminari
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Kaminari doesn’t argue- at least not with you.
He’ll accuse Kirishima of cheating on some first-person shooter game, or yell curses at Sero for blue-shelling him in Mario Kart.
But he’s never really argued with you about anything.
That doesn’t mean you’ve never had opposing views. Most of the time, Kaminari just listens and tried to understand how you feel.
But more recently, as you progress through school, he’s been doing weird things.
Training longer, forgetting to text you-and he always texts you.
It hurts your heart when you see him smiling and goofing around with Kirishima when today was your movie-night.
You’re not angry at him, you don’t own him for the day, he’s allowed to do other things, but you feel upset. You feel like he doesn’t care about your feelings.
So you head up to your room early, not even bothering to say goodbye to him.
Only about thirty minutes go by when he’s knocking on your door asking for you, asking if you’re feeling okay and why you went back to your room so early.
“I’m fine.” You lie, your expression was more than telling of that factor. You had a pout on your lips, your brows weren’t up and happy, and your eyes didn’t sparkle at the sight of your handsome boyfriend.
“You’re not! What’s goin’ on shawty?” Kaminari always uses humor to make you feel better, that’s just what he’s good at. He can be serious too, but he likes putting a smile on your face before he gets all serious.
“It’s nothing, you were having fun with Kirishima, I don’t want to interrupt.” And without meaning to, you’ve spilled exactly why you were feeling so upset.
Kaminari stares at you with his wide golden eyes, shaking his head as he practically tackles you through your dorm-room door frame into a hug.
Wrapping his arms around you he hugs you close and smiles.
“I didn’t ignore you! Kirishima just talks a lot.” Kaminari is quick to assume you were slightly jealous.
“I-I, no no you’re fine! Go have fun!”
“No. I’m staying with you.” Kaminari’s voice is a bit rougher this time, forcing the fact that he was going to spend time with you now.
After speaking he realized you’re crying. He quickly starts panicking, wondering if his stern ‘Bakugou’ voice scared you.
“Hey, hey! Why are you crying? What’s wrong?” He’s rubbing your arms and trying to wipe your tears away as they flow from your eyes.
“I didn’t want us to argue-I was just feeling weird and left-out and I-I’m sorry for being so jealous over something so little and stupid, please don’t be mad at me, I don’t want to fight and bicker like my parents do.” You don’t realize Kaminari’s expression softening at the mention of your fear, becoming like your parents.
“I’d never yell or argue with you over something like that. It’s okay to feel jealous or hurt, just talk to me about it okay? I can’t help you if I don’t know how to. We can converse like this about things, it doesn’t have to escalate.” Kaminari is soothing surprisingly. His touch is gentle even though it wanders.
Holding your hands is a nice feeling, and he enjoys holding them. Rubbing his thumb over your knuckles relaxes you as you lean in to rest your head on his chest.
“I’m sorry.” 
“Don’t apologize. I love you.” Kaminari kisses the top of your head and hugs you tightly.
“How about you pick out the movie this time! If it’s scary, you get the pleasure of cuddling into me!” Kaminari wiggles his brows.
“You were the one terrified to turn the lights off last time.” You giggle, lifting your head to wipe your eyes.
“I don’t remember that at all.” Kaminari teases, walking over to your bed to get comfy while you looked for a movie to watch.
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masterlist
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miraculouscontent · 3 years
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Didn’t Need Burrow (August 7th-September 13th)
Anonymous asked:
Didn’t Need Burrow: Ladybug and Chat Noir will be asked to participate in judging a competition that Marinette and Adrien are both a part of. Ladybug will want to vote for herself as Marinette, but Tikki will tell her(once detransformed and while she is snacking) that she can’t because then people will know that Marinette is Ladybug. Chat Noir, meanwhile, will freely vote for Adrien with no repercussions or drawbacks, and Adrien will end up winning the competition. Marinette will admit that she was “so silly” to even think of voting for herself, especially since “Adrien needs the award more so that I do” despite being rich, white, male, and “perfect”(oh, I’m sorry, “purrfect”!), since all of Marinette’s legitimate problems of anxiety, dyspraxia, and the like get thrown out the window because the writers’ perfect sunshine boy incel stand-in has a “saaad home life!”, and Marinette needs to give him pity and put his feelings above his rather than wish for her own success. Cuz Girl Power.
tbh, given the leaks script, I’d reverse that and saying that Adrien voted for LadyNoir as Couple of the Year.
Anonymous asked:
Didn’t Need Burrow: Marinette and Adrien will reveal their identities, and Marinette actually WILL be disappointed that the boy who goofed off in fights and didn’t take no for an answer is none other than her perfect modeling celebrity crush. However, rather than this being a point towards Adrien needing to learn how to improve himself and accept Marinette’s feelings, this scene is used to make HER look bad(because of course it is) and she is blamed for expecting Adrien to be perfect(despite being encouraged and told to see him as such), and told that she should be happy that Chat was hitting on her even when she didn’t like it or it got in the way of battle plans, likely by Alya, because it was her true love under the mask all along. Eventually she “learns her lesson”(ick) and comes to accept Adrichat for who he is, warts and all. Bonus if she has a flashback to when Chat said “if you saw me without my mask you wouldn’t be able to resist me” as she realizes that he was right.
Didn’t Need Burrow? More like “Didn’t Need to Think About This”
i hate it
Anonymous asked:
Don't Need a Burrow: Luka will be Chat Blanc "2.0"
But Luka doesn’t have Chat-level favoritism going so Bunnyx won’t be there to defend him from consequences.
Anonymous asked:
We will have Ladybug!Alya in Marinette's akumatization episode. Obviously everyone would think that she is "better" than "old" Ladybug. (Bonus points if Ladybug!Alya don't "alienate" Chat Noir, mostly by catering to his whims)
Oh, of course! No one will miss the “old” Ladybug.
Anonymous asked:
Don't Need a Burrow: Bob Roth is akumatized into Rip Off, a supervillain with power to copy anything he sees (including powers of heroes)
Okay but that’s genius.
(I know we already had it in “Miraculer” but I like this more.)
Anonymous asked:
DNB: Now that Luka knows their identities, he will push the Love Square in a romantic manner. Stans would be totally fine with this because it doesn't interfere with their endgame :)
Well, obviously!
I’m just waiting for them to basically say that the secret identities don’t matter and, because they like one side, also means they like the other side.
Because forget nuance, am I right?
Anonymous asked:
Don't Need a Burrow: In the end, (after Adrienette gets together) Narrator reveals himself (herself?) as Alya with words "that's how I helped my bestie [Marinette] get a relationship with love of her life [Adrien]" or something similar.
wait, Alya, are you filming a Ladybug biography
why did you include all the humilation
why
That explains her making herself look good though.
Anonymous asked:
Don't Need a Burrow: Luka will finally reveal that he knows Heroes' secret identities... to Alya, who obviously decide to hide from Marinette that Luka knows her identity (Bonus Points if reason provided by Alya why she is doing this is utterly ridiculous)
AAAAAAAAAAAA
I guess Luka would have to realize that Alya knows. Bonus if he tells her Chat’s identity too so love square shipping can commence.
Anonymous asked:
Don't Need a Burrow: "Knitting Fairy" will be name of Marinette's akumatized form.
Can you say “reused design”? I certainly can, we’re used to it.
Anonymous asked:
Didn’t Need Burrow:
Luka keeping his knowledge about the identities (esp. Ladybug’s) will somehow blow up in a way for the writers to paint him in a bad light, probably ending with Marinette not trusting him. (As well as no hint of irony that Adrien did the same thing for completely selfish reasons in Chat Blanc).
MiraculousMX: Platonic soulmates!
us: Source??
Anonymous asked:
DNB: If LS gets reversed, Adrien complains about Marinette having other friends. Not just being friends with Luka or any other guys, but friends PERIOD, showing the same jealousy/desire for his 'love interest' to be isolated as Chat Noir. These MASSIVE RED FLAGS are treated as Just More Innocent Sadrien Things, because he's sOoOoOo Sad and SoOoOoO Lonely~
Oh god, now I had an awful thought that this is where Adrien getting jealous of Luka, and Luka feels bad/”knows what’s best” so he either ditches Marinette/finds an excuse to leave or makes sure that Adrien gets his time with her.
Because it’s the love square so it’s “important” that Marinette spend time with Adrien.
Anonymous asked:
Dnb: assuming the Senti-Adrien theory is true, in the season finale, Viperion joins the fight, stops SM from using the ladybug an cat miraculi by going back in time only to use them by himself, wishing for Adrien to be a real boy (and love Marinette). Of course Luka needs to give something in exchange, worst case scenario, his life.
That got really dark.
Though tbh with how much they push Luka and Marinette around, one of them will probably have to give up something huge for Adrien (they both already sacrificed their relationship, so--).
Anonymous asked:
Don't Need a Burrow: If Chat Noir joins Shadow Moth then he is treated by both Gabriel and Heroes as his greatest asset, even through he is still complete joke that is defeated by rest of Heroes faster than Mr Pigeon in "Timetagger". (Bonus points if Heroes defeat him by "Backhand Offhand", Offscreen or he is defeated by "Friendly Fire" from Akuma of the Week due to his own stupidity)
tbh I could probably do more sad math with “how often Chat Noir/Cataclysm is useless,” bonus if it’s put up against characters/Ladybug stroking his ego.
Anonymous asked:
DNB: Adrien's fears concerning Ladybug are made more explicit through a nightmare/vision (possibly akuma-induced) of Ladybug calling him unreliable/saying she doesn't need him anymore because she has partners she can actually COUNT on. Naturally, this is treated as Pure Sadrien Hours rather than a fair critique. Bonus if he ditches/forces her to beg for his assistance AGAIN to soothe his poor bruised baby ego.
*“Malediktator” flashbacks, but Adrien instead of Chloe*
Anonymous asked:
Didn't Need Burrow: Adrien/Chat Noir skips out on a fight/akuma attack for some spiteful, selfish reason or another. Ladybug handles it without him, either completely through her own skill or with help from Rena/other heroes. Adrien then angsts about 'not being needed', with Marinette's 'Mistake of the Day' being that she didn't cater to his pity party due to being too busy DOING HER DAMNED JOB.
me seeing that one leaked script where they talk about how Chat/Cataclysm would make things easier: *sigh*
Anonymous asked:
Didn't Need Burrow: Plagg will encourage Adrien to act even more selfishly, skipping more battles and being even brattier. This is so his stans can blame Plagg for being 'a bad influence' on their perfect angel, even when it's clear the two of them are on the same wavelength. Oooh, he's twisting his rubber arm; how AWFUL--! Adrien would NEVER do all these Awful Things he's already done if he didn't have Plagg~! What a bad kitty~!
“rubber arm” jdfkgjndfjgfg
tbh Plagg already is super laidback and doesn’t really like transforming/complains about going into battle, so this isn’t much of a stretch.
Anonymous asked:
DNB: "Gabriel Agreste" or other episodes will reveal that Gabriel flew many, if not ALL of the same Red Flags his son displays on a regular basis. The narrative treats this as though this makes Gabriel more 'sweet, sad and sympathetic' rather than illustrating that both of them are dangerously entitled and generally awful.
This sounded really intriguing as a sort of “apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” thing until that last sentence kicked in.
That’s damn accurate to what they’d do too, ugh.
Anonymous asked:
DNB: Plagg is the one that discovers that Gabriel is Hawk/Shadowmoth, but is forcibly sworn to silence by Adrien. Bonus if Adrien somehow gives this command without learning what Plagg is trying to tell him -- i.e. he get irritated and orders Plagg to shut up in a way that bars him from EVER saying what he was attempting to say -- so that Adrien's stans can claim it was all a big misunderstanding and blame Plagg entirely for it. Or Marinette. Somehow.
Oh oh oh!
Alternatively, Adrien silences Plagg without realizing that he has that kind of power (like saying, “you can’t tell anyone!” and we see the magic hit Plagg’s mouth), so the fandom can say, “HE DOESN’T KNOOOW THAT HE DID IT.”
Anonymous asked:
dntb: Luka is gonna be villianised in some way for not telling Marinette he knows the identities of both of them
Meanwhile, Alya, slipping the bouncer her free pass.
Anonymous asked:
Don't Need a Burrow: After one of the kwamis ​​makes one snickering comment too many, Marinette snaps and tells them all to shut up (with obvious outcome). Narrative obviously equals it to scene between Gabriel and Noroo from "Sandboy" (Bonus Points if Narrative deems Marinette worse than Gabriel, because "Gabriel forbid Noroo from talking as joke")
oh my goooooood
Marinette: *snaps because she’s stressed out*
the fandom: SHE SO MEAN!!! ;o;
Anonymous asked:
Don't Need a Burrow: Adrien's reveal as Sentimonster just for additional souce of "sad points" for him
this DNB: i am inevitable
mystic-lionroar asked:
Didn't Need Burrow: The writers' Status-Quo allergy kicks in when someone very pointedly implies Chloe, Lila and/or Gabriel work for Hawk Moth with how many Akumas they tend to cause... only to get reminded point blank that "Hawk Moth is the sole one responsible for this mess, no one else". Cue two episodes later, both the characters and the writers' memories of this scene are erased. What erased it? ╰( ・ ᗜ ・ )╯Why, Marinette can be held responsible for this one, of course! (Me: (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻)
╰(‵□′)╯
OH MY GOOOOD
“Crocoduel” also basically already blamed Marinette for two akumatizations so at this point we’re just waiting.
Anonymous asked:
DNB: To further cement the whole 'destined to be' shlock, after the shock of the eventual reveal wears off, we get a call back to how frequently Chat Noir told Ladybug that they were meant for each other and that she 'was the only one who didn't see it'. Marinette agrees that she was silly and foolish for not recognizing it sooner, parroting Adrien's bullshit in order to further cement the notion that she's HAPPILY accepting her 'fate' to be nothing more than his personal prize.
You can’t see it but I have my head in my hands in grief.
Anonymous asked:
DNB: Adrien's gross sense of entitlement towards Ladybug will become even more explicit, with him angrily ranting about how he DESERVES to 'get the girl'. No matter how awful and nasty he gets, the narrative continues to treat him as though he's 100% right to be pissed off at her for DARING to have agency or thinking she has a say in things. As clearly, the biggest mistake Marinette has ever made is thinking she gets to have Opinions or make her own decisions. G-girl power...?
Marinette needing to be constantly told what’s best for her by other people and it’s okay because she needs to accept+follow all opinions.
end me
Anonymous asked:
DNB: The double standard between Adrien and other characters will be more noticeable. Adrien will still be put on a pedestal.
Because no one will notice Adrien if they didn’t put him on a metaphorical and physical pedastal.
Anonymous asked:
Don't Need a Burrow: Foxy Cat and CaraBug
omg Fox Adrien.is one of the worst hero choices I’ve ever heard fjdgjfjdglfkdg
I could at least see why Marinette thought that Adrien fit the snake since the narrative gushes for him so hard.
Anonymous asked:
Didn’t Need Burrow: As a result of being written by a straight white male writing team, the show starts to use Marinette’s girliness against her. From her love of pink being mocked to the kwamis admitting(in the spirit of another DNB) that they don’t respect Marinette because she’s “too girly”, to her fashion designing being treated as a cutesy but ultimately fickle pastime(in the spirit that all teenage girls’ interests are treated), the show absolutely throws Girl Power out the window in favor of giving Marinette absolute hell for daring to present herself in a traditionally feminine way, treating her femininity as the butt of a joke that no one is laughing at. Bonus points of someone says(or even outright tells her to her face) that she’s “such a girl”, as if that’s supposed to be an insult. Alternatively, this happens to Rose instead of Marinette, as she’s just as girly if not more so than her, or it happens to both of them(regardless of whether or not it’s at the same time).
WOOOOW
I mean, honestly, yeah.
Anonymous asked:
Didn’t Need Burrow: Things other characters did that were bad will be retconned into things that Marinette did instead, or will otherwise be retconned into being her fault, no matter how improbable or contradictory. Meanwhile, bad things characters did to Marinette or good things characters did FOR Marinette will be retconned into nonexistence.
I MEAN THEY BLAMED MARINETTE FOR “SILENCER” SO--
MATTER OF TIME.
Anonymous asked:
Don't Need a Burrow: Simultaneous Akumatization of Manon, Chris, Ella and Etta, obviously when they are babysat by Marinette, because otherwise ML Writers wouldn't be able to paint it as Marinette's fault
oh god
please no
I mean, not even just to blame Marinette for it, but I can’t even stand these kids when they’re on their own, MUCH LESS TOGETHER.
Anonymous asked:
Don't Need a Burrow: If Adrien gets akumatized, then it would be just Chat Blanc with shoulder pads and crown
Is this a reference to my Miracle Queen post?
Because yes.
Anonymous asked:
Didn't need burrow: In Hack-San Chat Noir will pull a Sentibubler and refuse to listen to Alya with the Ladybug Miraculous as he doesn't have a brain unless he can progress the not so progressive four-sided Hellfire, which is actually still the best-case-scenario. I mean he could just not come at all, since he's only there to flirt with and seduce Ladybug with unfunny jokes.
Anonymous asked:
DNB: Adrien causes problems because of Alyabug.
ugggggh
Anonymous asked:
DNB: Alya will immediately have access to things like the creation of charms despite how long it took for Marinette to be able to do that.
Wait--
If she doesn’t, did they literally just give Alya the ladybug miraculous because they knew that Markov wouldn’t have a way of hiding the amulet on him and they didn’t feel like putting it on his model???
Anonymous asked:
Didn’t Need Burrow: Alya’s Ladybug name is “Coccinelle” aka “Ladybug” in French. Or something equally lazy such as The Red Spotted One or the Scarlett Beetle. Even if it sounds cool at first glance, it will ultimately boil down to a plain and obvious name, because apparently EVERY superhero’s name has to so blatantly relate to the animal their Miraculous is based off of. For some reason. Somehow. -_-
fhkgjfdkgdfg okay but “The Red Spotted One” made me laugh.
Anonymous asked:
Hack-San DNB’s:
• Chat Noir will be upset that Ladybug trusted her miraculous to someone else.
• There will be a comment on how Alya was a just as good, if not better Ladybug than Marinette.
• Alya’s performance as LB will be used as another instance to show Marinette made the ‘right choice’ telling her her identity.
• Using the Horse to teleport back instead giving the earrings to Alya will not be mentioned as an option.
• Scene of Adrichat being sad about ‘feeling replaced’.
Especially on that “comment that Alya is just as good, if not better,” one, it probably won’t even be used as a reassurance for Marinette like, “oh, that’s good to know that I’m not the only one who can be Ladybug,” it’ll just be praise for Alya.
Anonymous asked:
Hack-San DNB: Chat Noir gets angry with LB for not telling him she was leaving & she has to apologize for it.
(Despite making sure there was a backup Ladybug to protect Paris, unlike Chat in the NY special who left the city completely unprotected).
Convenient.
Anonymous asked:
Don't Need a Burrow: "Dearest Family" (episode where both of Marinette's parents are akumatized) will be about Marinette learning "true value" of Chat Noir
Either that or incorporating Adrien into the family.
Anonymous asked:
Don't Need a Burrow: Psycomedian will be blatant Joker rip-off
You can just say “all akuma in the season will either be rip-offs of themselves or past akuma,” it’s okay. :P
Anonymous asked:
Another DNB for Hack-San, since we see Jagged Stone in the trailer, so if they show it..:
The “most precious possession” of Jagged’s will be Fang and not, y’know, either of his children.
I missed that trailer.
Honestly there could be some funny moments with the concept, but if Jagged is the only joke made about it then yes, I will be very bitter.
Alternatively, Jagged picks his guitar instead.
Anonymous asked:
DNB: In the Alyabug episode, Alya will either be Practically Perfect In Every Way™, or will royally screw up in a way that will somehow lead to Marinette. Either way, Cat Noir will flirt with the new Ladybug, or pull a Sentibubbler. Or both. There may or may not be a comment about how Alyabug's costume is so much better than Marinette's despite being a fashion designer.
dkfgkjdfgjf I adore how this whole thing is just, “there’s so many ways it could go wrong!”
53 notes · View notes
xjoonchildx · 4 years
Text
guarded | jhs x reader | chapter five: italian leather gloves
Tumblr media
summary: you’ve tried to separate yourself from your infamous crime family, but a new case has your carefully-constructed world crashing down around you.  now you have to figure out how to heal old wounds and handle the new man who enters your orbit.
pairing: hoseok x reader
genre: mafia AU, E2L, slow burn, tsundere, smut
rating: 18+
word count: 6.0K
A/N: so the smut warnings start to go into effect in this chapter, guys! i can’t believe how many kind messages i’ve gotten about this story. please just know that i read every single one and i promise they all make me so happy.  i really hope you guys like this chapter and i hope it answers some questions.  of course i must thank the squad @ladyartemesia @taetaewonderland @ppersonna for being an amazing support system and kick ass beta readers.  love you guys.
Chapter 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | EPILOGUE
****************
Everything hurts.
The moment you open your eyes, you wish you hadn’t.  Late morning sun streams bright and unforgiving into your bedroom, making the ache in your temples even more pronounced.  You spend a good ten minutes lying flat on your back, staring at the ceiling and remembering everything that went wrong last night.
So terribly, terribly wrong.
Your punishment today -- apart from the pounding headache and sour stomach -- is that despite doing your very best to drink yourself to blackout, you remember every minute of last night in painstaking detail.  There’s a cruel clarity to the way your mind replays the awkward dinner with your boss and the confrontation with Donghyuk.
And your fight with Hoseok.
Shame curls in your gut when you recall the nasty things you’d said to try and get a rise out of him. The nasty things he’d said in return when your goading finally worked.
“People like me do the dirty work so people like you can impress rich assholes at stupid parties.”
It’s not like you didn’t already know Hoseok saw you as some kind of entitled rich bitch -- but that didn’t make hearing the words spoken out loud any easier.  It didn’t make the anger you provoked in him any less jarring.
And it didn’t make the moment he saw your scar any less humiliating.
That’s when you feel like you might be sick -- when you remember the way Hoseok went completely still at the sight of your damaged skin.  The way he’d tried so hard to look like he wasn’t staring and failed.
You get out of bed and slip an oversized sweatshirt over your head, take a few deep breaths to try and calm the wobbling sensation in your stomach.  
That’s when it hits you. 
You don’t smell coffee.
****************************
Kim Seokjin looks like he’s made himself quite at home when you finally work up the nerve to leave your bedroom. He’s reclined deep into your couch, long legs propped up on your living room table, tablet in hand.  He looks up from the screen to take in your bedraggled appearance with wide eyes.
“Rough night, huh?”
“Something like that,” you say quietly.  You make your way to the kitchen in search of a glass of water and Seokjin stands up from the couch to follow you.
“Hoseok, uh --”, he pauses for a moment, rubs one hand across the back of his neck,  “ -- said he needed a couple of days to take care of some personal stuff.”
You pour lukewarm water into a glass, take one tentative sip and say nothing.
“So you’re stuck with me,” Seokjin continues slowly, “For a little while, anyway.”
You stare into your glass, unwilling to meet Seokjin’s eyes.  It shouldn’t surprise you one bit that Hoseok took off after what happened between you last night.  It probably shouldn’t hurt either.
But it does.
The little water you’ve managed to get down feels like it might come right back up.
“You okay?” Seokjin asks after a long pause.
“No,” you admit.  “I don’t feel good.  Probably going to stay in bed for the day, so it’ll be a quiet one for you.”
Seokjin nods sympathetically. 
“You know what’s good for when you’re feeling sick?” he asks.  “Samgyetang. I found some in your fridge.  It’s pretty good too, kinda --”
Your stomach lurches at the mention of that goddamned soup.
You leave Seokjin mid-sentence to retch in the privacy of your bathroom.
*****************************
The next time you open your eyes, it’s to complete darkness.
You wake disoriented, not sure if you’ve slept for hours or for days.  The last thing you remember after getting sick was barely getting down some painkillers and a little more water before crawling back into bed.  
Then it was lights out.
Physically, you feel better.  The hammering headache is gone and the motion sickness is gone with it.  But as you lie awake in the darkness, there’s no way to escape your tumultuous thoughts.  The ones that keep going back to Hoseok and that fight.
“People like me follow orders so people like you don’t have to.”
No doubt the story of how you left the Gajog has been distorted over the years, passed between gossips in some twisted game of telephone. No doubt the story that’s told now is not about the scared teenager desperate for any semblance of stability; it’s about some spoiled little girl who decided she was too good for everyone else.  
“People like me stay behind and handle our responsibilities so people like you can walk away from yours.”
That was definitely the worst blow of the night, though.  
There is just enough truth to that accusation to make it stick, to make it sting.  You did walk away. You did leave your brother behind.
You run a hand through your hair and reach for your phone to check the time.  9:30 PM.  
You feel almost human by the time you get out of the shower and walk out into the living room to find Seokjin dozing on the couch.  You feel guilty for rousing him, but it’s his job.  You know this is something you have to do right now.
“Jin,” you call out, nudging him gently.  His eyes blink back, unfocused as he tries to get his bearings.  
“Yeah?” he’s alert at once, looking around.  “You okay?”
No, but I’m going to be.
“I’m alright.  I need you to take me to see my brother.”
****************************
Namjoon has a beautiful penthouse on the water, a luxury apartment high above the Han River.  But there’s no wife, no children waiting for him at home.  Nothing in that place but echoing walls and modern art.
So he spends most of his nights at the office.
Seokjin called ahead, just in case -- but you knew your brother would be there.  He’s still dressed in his suit, a tumbler of scotch in hand when you arrive.  Seokjin doesn’t have to be asked to leave.
“You don’t look well, Amsaja,” he says quietly as you sit in the chair opposite his grand desk.
“You are not the first person to allude to that today,” you say with a humorless laugh.  You look down at your giant sweatshirt and jeans, and shove a hand through your still-wet hair. “Message received.”
His eyes are soft with concern.  “Tell me what’s wrong.”
“Nothing,” you say, blowing out a heavy breath.  “Everything.  I just -- I just needed to see you.”
You were still a little girl when you learned the hard way that tears were futile and pointless and only served to make you a target. But you feel them welling in your eyes anyway.  The reflex feels foreign and rusty after so many years of disuse.
“I’m so sorry, Namjoon,” you choke out, voice thick.  “So, so sorry.”
Namjoon sets his tumbler down on the heavy wood of his desk, walks around it and over to you. When he gets down on one knee and reaches out a hand to brush your cheek you don’t see the grown man at the helm of Seoul’s largest criminal empire.  You see the brother who took care of you when no one else would.
Despite your best efforts to stop them, the tears come anyway.
Namjoon holds you close, strokes your hair while you cry into the jacket of his expensive suit.  He doesn’t say anything for a while, just waits for your body to stop shaking with the force of your sobs and for your breathing to even out. 
“Why did you let me leave?” you ask once you’ve managed to regain some control.  “Why didn’t you ask me to stay?”
Namjoon sighs, standing to stretch his legs.  He grabs his drink before walking over to the window to peer down at the lights streaking by below.
“One of us deserved to have a choice,” he says quietly.  “It was never going to be me.  I didn’t want the same for you.”
Your heart breaks all over again, hearing Namjoon say those words out loud.  Your brother, born into a legacy he never asked for and a responsibility he could never run from. Your protector who let you walk away from the life he couldn’t escape.
“You saved me,” you whisper.  “He would have killed me if I hadn’t left Seoul.”
“I know that,” Namjoon admits, “I saw it coming, too.  The worse his drinking got --  I couldn’t let that happen.  I refused to let that happen.”
You stand out of the chair to walk over to the window.  Your brother’s profile is illuminated by the passing lights, mouth set in a grim line.
“You forced him to let me go.”
It’s not a question. Namjoon nods.
“I told him I would disappear if he didn’t let you leave.  And then what? He’d have spent his entire life grooming me for nothing.  He was just weak enough from the drinking to agree. He couldn’t fight me on it anymore.”
You shut your eyes against the fresh tears that come.
“I’ve been so selfish.”
“We’re all selfish, Amsaja,” he sighs.  “We all want things we can’t have. That’s human nature.”
It makes your chest squeeze -- how desolate that admission sounds.  You think about your brother’s massive, empty apartment.  Who takes care of him? Who does he have to talk to?  You swallow past the taste of guilt in your mouth.
“We could leave all of this behind, Jaegyueo. Start over.  Make our own choices this time.”
Namjoon huffs a sad laugh into the rim of his glass.
“How I got here is not the point anymore,” he says.  “You think if I dismantled this organization right now that all of this would just stop?”
He turns away from the window to look you in the eye.
“There would be ten syndicates ready to fill the hole we would leave overnight. And I promise you,” he shakes his head, “None of them would conduct business as neatly as we do. This organization keeps everything from going to shit. This is our way of balancing the scales.”
You wrap your arms around yourself and look back out the window, out to the lights that make the city glow at this time of night.  You know your brother is right.  
This is his destiny.  
“You talk about being selfish,” he continues quietly,  “How’s this for selfish?  No matter how much you’ve suffered in the past, I still want you here by my side.  I still want you to come back.”
Your heart squeezes in your chest.
“Namjoon, I --”  He interrupts you with a raised hand.
“You don’t have to defend your stance.  You have every right to leave this all behind you forever. Just know that you are the only person on this Earth that I trust without question.”
The ice in his scotch tinkles in the quiet of the office as he swirls the contents of the glass.
“Just know that there is a part of me that will always be waiting for you to come back.”
*********************
HOSEOK
Hoseok had to get out of there.
He had to put space between you and him or he was going to lose his mind.  
Thankfully, Seokjin didn’t ask too many questions when he’d phoned in the middle of the night asking to be relieved for a few days.  Seokjin didn’t press too hard when he asked about how you were doing and Hoseok nearly took his head off.  And Seokjin hasn’t asked why Hoseok is texting him every day to make sure you’re alright.
Sometimes -- rarely -- Seokjin knows exactly when to shut the fuck up.  
Hoseok knows he should be using this time to get his shit together. 
He knows he’s this close to doing something stupid.  He knows he’s got to figure out a way to release the pressure building inside of him before he explodes.
He thinks about how satisfying it would be to put his fist through Kang Donghyuk’s face.
He stares down the stone-and-glass entrance to Kang’s apartment from the driver’s seat of his car, one hand tight around the steering wheel.  He tightens his grip on the wheel and loosens it, over and over and over.
A call comes through.
“Hey, it’s Jimin.”
“Yeah,” Hoseok says flatly, eyes never leaving the entrance to that apartment building. “What’s up?”
“I already briefed Namjoon but he wanted me to call you, too.  We finally got a hit on Lee Hyejin.”
Hoseok sits up straighter in his seat.
“What did you find?”
“We got access to her accounts.  Regular payments, every two weeks -- coming through an offshore wire.  Started about three months ago.”
“Shit,” Hoseok says under his breath.  “A Ssijog account?”
“We’re still working on confirming that -- but yeah, like 99% sure.”
Hoseok scrubs a hand down his face.  
Who gets to break the news to you that your only friend has been fucking with your case -- fucking with your entire life? He thinks back to how blank and despondent you’d looked the night of the snake incident, how withdrawn you’d been the night of the charity dinner. 
How much more of this pressure can you withstand before you explode?
“What about the guy?” Jimin asks, after the line is silent for too long. “Any news on him?”
“Not yet,” Hoseok murmurs, tightening his grip around the wheel again.  “But it’s coming.  I know it’s coming.”
“Okay.  Tae is still trying to get a complete list of accounts linked to that offshore one.  If we find out more, I’ll make sure you know right away.”
Hoseok ends the call just as another call comes in.
He takes one look at the screen and rubs his fingers across his tired eyes before sending it to voicemail.
He knows he could have handled the situation with Dae with more care. He knows he could have done more than end their casual arrangement with one call.  Dae had been furious, demanding he give her some kind of explanation so she could understand why it was over.  
Hoseok hadn’t been lying to her when he said he didn’t know why.
But as he sits in the dark -- staring at the entrance of Kang Donghyuk’s apartment building -- he considers for a moment that he might have been lying to himself.
His phone rings again.
“Jung,” Namjoon’s voice comes over the line. “You in the middle of something?”
“Nah,” Hoseok lies easily.  “Just relaxing.  What’s up?”
“Come have a drink with me.”
*********************
It’s nearly midnight by the time Hoseok makes it across town.
Namjoon appears to be in a contemplative mood tonight, glass of scotch in hand, long body leaned back into his plush chair.
“You’re off-duty tonight,” Namjoon says, taking a sip of his drink.  “Scotch?”
Hoseok makes a face.
“Definitely not.  Have any whiskey?”
“Yeah, I think I’ve got a bottle around here somewhere.”
Namjoon picks up his desk phone to reach his assistant, who makes quick work of finding a bottle and a clean glass.  She delivers both with practiced silence before slipping out of the room.  
Hoseok can’t help but notice his boss’s gaze lingering on the pretty young woman as she retreats. He keeps his mouth shut because he’s not an idiot.
Once he has a tumbler of whiskey in hand, Hoseok leans back into his own chair, undoes the top buttons of his dress shirt.
“Something specific you want to talk about?” he asks, sipping his drink.  
“Just checking in,” Namjoon says quietly.  “I’ve barely seen you these past few weeks.  Want to make sure everything’s alright where you’re concerned.”
“I’m fine,” Hoseok says.  “Jimin called me about the shit he found on the Lee girl, though.”
“Yeah. I don’t think my sister’s going to take that news well,” Namjoon murmurs.  “She’s not exactly the trusting type.  A betrayal like this -- ”
He trails off, abandoning one thought for another.  
“Does she talk to you?”
Hoseok clears his throat. 
He tries not to think about the last time he saw you and the terrible things you’d said to one another.  He tries not to remember the look on your face before you turned away from him.  
“Not really.  Keeps to herself a lot.”
“Yeah, well.  She’s had to put up with a lot of shit over the years,” Namjoon admits, rubbing his fingers across his lips. “She keeps things close to the vest.”
Hoseok sags deeper into the plush chair and takes a drink, welcomes the burn that comes with it.  He already knows Namjoon is not looking for some kind of dialogue tonight.  Namjoon is looking to unload.  
Hoseok keeps quiet and lets him do just that.
“My sister has been punished for things beyond her control since the day she was born,” he continues.  “My role was clear from day one and hers much less so.  My father was too ignorant to figure out how to raise a little girl without a mother and too disinterested to even ask for help.”
Hoseok’s fingers tighten around his glass.
“She spent half her time trying to get his attention and the other half regretting when she finally did.”
The image of that scar comes into Hoseok’s mind, unbidden.  The jagged lines of it, the deep indent of it.  All of the tiny details that speak to the brutality behind the wound.  
“He hurt her,” Hoseok says quietly, looking past Namjoon to stare out into lights outside the window.
“A thousand different ways,” Namjoon sighs, shoving a hand through his hair.  “I did what I could, but I couldn’t keep her from all of it.”
The ice in his glass tinkles as he empties his drink.
“I know what people say about my sister, Hoseok,” Namjoon exhales.  “None of them know what they’re talking about.  She was going to be damned either way.  She did what she had to do to survive.”
Hoseok swallows the last of his whiskey around the knot in his throat.
************************
He almost took the night off.
Hoseok’s body could have used the rest, and his mind certainly could have, too.  But every time he closes his eyes he sees you, hears your brother’s words.  
The pressure inside him keeps building.
He woke up this morning thinking about that photograph inside Namjoon’s desk -- the one taken inside your apartment.  The one taken while you were sleeping and at your most vulnerable, inside your own home.  
Every cell in Hoseok’s body is telling him that Kang Donghyuk took that picture.  
That’s why he’s in his car tonight, following Kang home from the office again.  That’s why he’s pulled into a space just outside the man’s high-dollar highrise prepared for another night of waiting and watching.  
Fuck, he’ll do it every night until he gets the answers he’s looking for.
A call comes in from Seokjin.
“Hey,” Hoseok answers on the first ring.  “Everything alright?”
“Yeah, yeah,” Seokjin sighs.  “Quiet.  She’s busy working in her room or something.  Why do I have the feeling you’re not at your place taking the personal time you said you needed?”
“Mind your business,” Hoseok mutters. 
Seokjin laughs.
“Honestly, I just called because I’m bored.  Wondering if you ever plan on coming back to your post.  I’m going out of -- “
“-- Shit,” Hoseok interrupts, sitting up straight in his seat.  “I gotta go.”
He ends the call before Seokjin can ask why.
Hoseok squints against the dark when he sees Kang Donghyuk walk out of the entrance to his building.  Kang stands on the curb, hands shoved into the pockets of his dress pants.  Even from a distance, Hoseok can see he’s looking up and down the street.
He’s waiting for someone.
Hoseok’s entire body is tense as he watches a sleek silver car pull up outside the building’s entrance and Kang slip into the passenger seat.  The car takes off and Hoseok’s pulse picks up.
This is it.
He waits until the sedan is a few hundred feet ahead to pull out into the street.  He’s careful to keep pace with the surrounding traffic so he doesn’t give himself away.  And after a short drive, the silver car parks outside a run-down warehouse in one of the shittier parts of the city.  
Hoseok pulls into a dark space, cuts the ignition and hides the bright display of his phone.
He watches Kang Donghyuk get out of the passenger seat, followed by the driver of the car.  A man Hoseok recognizes as Ssijog right away.  The men have a short conversation in the street before disappearing into the warehouse.  
Hoseok’s hand tightens around the steering wheel, then loosens.  Again and again and again.
He knows the protocol.  He knows he should have called this in five minutes ago.
He hasn’t.  
He won’t. 
Instead, he reaches into the console to pull out his favorite pair of Italian leather gloves.
*************************
Dressing the part has always served Hoseok well, even in this line of work.
Tonight -- his meticulously chosen suit and tie are his ticket inside Kang Donghyuk’s secure high-rise apartment building.  Hoseok walks right past the security guard on duty so casually that the man barely looks in his direction.
It takes him only a few minutes to find the door to Kang’s apartment and the entrance to the service elevator nearby.  Hoseok stands back into the recess and balls his hands into fists.  He concentrates on the stretch of his leather gloves.
Then he waits.
Kang Donghyuk doesn’t keep him waiting long.  
Just a short while later, he’s at his apartment door, fumbling with his keys.  Hoseok waits until he nudges the door open before making his approach.
One firm hand to the back of the neck and one firm shove is all it takes.  
Kang Donghyuk falls through the entrance to his apartment just as Hoseok is closing the door behind him.  He rolls onto his back on the floor, eyes wide and sputtering.
“What the fuck man?”  
Hoseok doesn’t bother to answer that.  
He pulls out his pistol and points the barrel at the cowering man.  Kang’s pupils blow wide and Hoseok feels a pulse of satisfaction at his obvious fear.
“Start talking,” Hoseok says, voice low and controlled.
“About what?” Kang squeaks -- voice slipping out an octave too high.  
Hoseok clicks the pistol’s safety into place and off again just to ensure Kang hears the sound.  The coward reacts immediately, covering his face with his hands.
“Alright man, I’ll talk.  Just chill -- “ he wheezes.  “I’ll tell you whatever you need to know.”
“I need to know everything, Kang,” Hoseok says between clenched teeth.  “Start fucking talking.”
Donghyuk sits up slowly, hands raised and eyes fixed on Hoseok.  
“They came to me a few months back.  All they said is they wanted her to fuck up the case.  That’s all, I swear.”
There’s no feeling of satisfaction for Hoseok when he hears the words spoken aloud.  There’s no victory in confirming the guy he thought was a piece of shit all along is actually a piece of shit.  
The pressure inside him continues to build.
“You’re working with the Lee girl?”
“Yeah,” Donghyuk admits miserably, eyes unmoving from the barrel of Hoseok’s gun.  “She would help me make copies of her keys and shit.  She knew where the important files were, too.  I mostly had to keep her out of the apartment when they needed to get in and -- ” he clears his throat, “ -- other stuff.”
Hoseok sees red. 
Fury ignites inside of him at the innuendo packed into those two short words.  His pistol seems to warm in his hand. 
“You took that picture,” he whispers, finger tightening around the trigger. Donghyuk winces, swallows so hard Hoseok can see his Adam's apple jump in his throat.
“Yeah,” Donghyuk admits, curling in on himself.  “They asked me to.”
Hoseok turns the gun in his hand so fast Donghyuk barely has the time to put his hands over his face again.  He cracks the butt of his pistol against the side of Donghyuk’s skull and the man whimpers as he rolls over in pain.
The pistol whip should have been enough to take the edge off of Hoseok’s rage.  
But it’s not enough. 
He holsters his gun and Donghyuk stares up at him from the floor, terrified.
“Get up,” Hoseok hisses.  
Blood has started to seep from a gash on the side of Donghyuk’s head but the man complies.  He stumbles to his feet just in time for Hoseok to take him off balance again.  He wraps one hand around the man’s throat and squeezes tight, pushing him back against a wall.
Donghyuk’s eyes bulge as Hoseok pins him to the wall with that hand.
“Never, ever --” Hoseok spits the words, grip crushing the man’s neck,  “-- go near her again.  Do you understand me? That’s not something I have to repeat even for someone as stupid as you, right?”
Donghyuk’s face is mottled, features frozen in fear as he attempts to nod his agreement. 
 Hoseok tightens his grip and the man starts to turn a satisfying shade of red.  The color deepens as Hoseok squeezes harder and all he can think about is how easy it would be to end him, how just a few more seconds of this pressure could cause his windpipe to collapse. How one more hard press of his fingers could solve the problem of Kang Donghyuk forever. 
But protocol.
Hoseok finally releases his grip on the man’s throat and Kang immediately slumps down the wall, into a pile on the floor.  He gasps, hands clutched to his chest as he fights to regain his breath.
Hosok stands back, straightening his coat and adjusting his jacket underneath.  
He gives Kang Donghyuk one last glance before walking to the door.
“Don’t do anything stupid,” he warns quietly.  “I’d hate to have to pay you another visit.”
Hoseok waits for the door to click closed before pulling out his phone to call Namjoon in the quiet of the hallway.  He’s a little breathless when his boss picks up on the first ring.
“Regarding Kang Donghyuk,” he murmurs. “There’s been a development.”
**********************
Namjoon’s call comes late the next afternoon.
“Hey,” Hoseok breathes into the receiver, balancing his phone between his shoulder and ear.  He drops his hand back into the bowl of ice water at his side.  “What’s up?”
“I need you to come in,” his boss says evenly.  “So we can discuss next steps.”
“Be there in ten.”
It’s a little pathetic, the way Hoseok perks up at having somewhere to be.  
Even meeting with his boss to explain how he broke protocol and nearly choked a man to death beats sitting in his apartment, icing his sore hand.  It sure as hell beats sitting on his couch, staring at the TV and trying not to think about you.
Namjoon takes the news of Kang’s involvement and Hoseok’s insubordination surprisingly well.  
He’d listened to Hoseok’s account of how he’d tracked Kang to the warehouse and ambushed him outside his apartment with quiet calm.  Maybe it’s his imagination, but Hoseok could swear he almost saw Namjoon smile when he described pistol-whipping Kang inside his apartment.
Yoongi -- pragmatic as ever -- laid the options out plainly.  
He argued that the Gajog could get rid of either Lee Hyejin or Kang Donghyuk, but not both.  Killing both, Yoongi reasoned, would put an entirely different kind of target on your back.  Both Hoseok and Namjoon agreed with that assessment.  Yoongi has always had a mind for strategy, even if his delivery leaves a bit to be desired.
Namjoon promised to think over the options before dismissing them both.
*************************
Hoseok’s hand still aches.
He’s been driving around the city for more than an hour now, not ready to go home and not certain which move to make next.  Each turn of his steering wheel sends a throb of discomfort through his grip.
Fucking up Kang Donghyuk was satisfying, no doubt.  But it’s not enough.
Hoseok doesn’t feel the sense of relief he’d expected to enjoy after choking that man to within an inch of his life.  There’s still a dull ache inside his chest too insistent to ignore.  
He tries to focus on the street signs that come and go, the traffic lights that glow against the backdrop of the setting sun.  He drives until the night takes over completely and then he drives until he parks outside of your place. 
When Hoseok cuts the ignition, it’s like he’s just come out of a fog.  He looks up at your high-rise and takes a deep breath before climbing out of the car.
******************
Seokjin’s bag must have already been packed.  
After a quick debrief he’s out the door in seconds, leaving Hoseok alone inside the quiet apartment.  He sinks down onto the couch and stares at your closed bedroom door.
He should knock, he thinks to himself.
He should get the apology sitting on the tip of his tongue out of the way so the two of you can move forward from what happened the other night.  He should apologize for the way he’s treated you and he should beg for your forgiveness.
Hoseok scrubs a hand down his face before resolving to do just that -- at the same time your bedroom door opens.  He watches you walk to the kitchen without so much as a glance in his direction and then he hears the sound of running water.   
He follows you.
Hoseok worries for a split-second that you might drop the glass in your hand when you finally spot him.
“Oh,” you breathe, “It’s you.”
Hoseok thought the last time he’d seen you -- when you’d worn that incredible gown and pulled out every stop -- he thought that was the most beautiful you’d ever looked.  But somehow that pales in comparison to how you look right now, figure swimming in an oversized sweatshirt, hair loose and framing your bare face.  He can’t even bring himself to look lower because you’re wearing those godforsaken shorts.  Has Seokjin seen you in those things?
His brain derails and it takes a moment to get back on track.
“Sorry,” he says slowly.  “Yeah, it’s me.  I’m back now.”
“Okay,” you exhale, setting your glass of water down. 
“I’m sorry.”
Hoseok had planned on saying something a bit more heartfelt, something with a bit more depth.  He had not intended on blurting out his apology the moment he saw you.  
“I don’t want you to feel sorry for me,” you say softly.  “I don’t want your pity or anyone else’s.”
Hoseok steps closer and you tuck a piece of hair behind your ear, a nervous gesture.
“That’s not what I said,” he insists, shaking his head. “I’m not sorry for you, I’m sorry for me.  I’m sorry because I’m a fucking jerk.”
You blink back at him.  “What?”
“I’m sorry -- ” Hoseok takes another step forward, “ -- that you have to put up with assholes like me who think they know everything about you when they really don’t know anything.”
Hoseok ignores the voice inside his head warning him not to press you too hard, not to take this too far.   
“I’m sorry anyone has ever tried you because I promise you they are going to pay,” he vows, stepping even closer.
You lean back against the heavy stone of your kitchen island, eyes wide. 
“And fuck -- ” Hoseok practically chokes the words out, “-- fuck, I am so sorry for wanting you as badly as I do when I know I have no right.”
There is a moment after those words tumble out when Hoseok thinks he may have just fucked everything up for good.  A moment when your mouth drops open but you say nothing and Hoseok is certain you’re going to make him leave.
But you don’t.
So he kisses you.
Hoseok swallows the sound of surprise you make when he slants his lips over yours.   You reach your hands around his neck to pull him closer and go up on your tiptoes to make up for the difference in height. Hoseok groans into your mouth when your nails scrape against the back of his neck.  
Any moment now -- any moment now he’s certain you’re going to come to your senses.  You’re going to demand he take his filthy fucking hands off of you.  He braces for it.
But you don’t.
Instead, you melt into his touch and whimper into his mouth and what’s left of Hoseok’s sanity evaporates. The sounds of panting and groaning echo off of the stone in the kitchen as you meld your body to his.
“I want you so much,” he whispers, gripping your waist to lift you onto the counter.
It’s easy to ignore the way his hand aches in protest when you’re wrapping your legs around his waist and sinking your fingers into his hair.  His cock is so hard in his pants he feels like he might explode.
You pull away from him, breathless, to lift your sweatshirt over your head and Hoseok’s chest tightens at the flash of doubt that crosses your features.  The heat that creeps into your cheeks when your scar is bared and on display.
He leans close to brush feather-light kisses against it, lips soft against the rough skin. ��Every inch of you is perfect,” he whispers, sucking gently at the indent in your collarbone. “Just the way it is.”
You suck in a sharp breath and release it with a strangled sigh as your fingers grip the back of Hoseok’s neck.  He trails kisses from your scar, slowly down your breast, onto one aching nipple.
“Hoseok -- please,” you beg.  “I want -- “
Your plea breaks apart he takes your nipple into his mouth, teeth teasing at the straining bud.
“Tell me what you want,” Hoseok murmurs, burying his face into the soft skin between your breasts, “Tell me and I swear to God, I’ll give it to you.”
Your fingers fumble for his belt and Hoseok groans when you work it apart.  There’s no way he’s ever been this hard -- ever.  He’s certain he could come just from rutting against the counter with your voice in his ear.
“Hoseok,” you whisper again.  “Hoseok -- “
He doesn’t catch on to the panic in your tone until you go rigid in his arms.
“There’s someone at the door,” you whisper, eyes wide. 
“Shit.” 
Hoseok shuts his eyes, leans his forehead against yours.
You slip out of his hold and he leans over the kitchen counter, arms braced against the stone while he tries to collect the last remaining scraps of his self-control.  You pull your sweatshirt back overhead and run quietly to the door.
You’re back only a moment later.  
“It’s my brother,” you whisper.  “And Yoongi and some guy I don’t know.”
Holy shit.
Hoseok grits his teeth, takes a deep breath, and silently wills his rigid cock to stand down. Thinking about Kim Namjoon’s face on the other side of that door helps, actually.  It helps a lot. 
The door knocker thuds again loudly and Hoseok can hear Namjoon’s voice coming from the hallway.  You wait until he’s managed to straighten his shirt and secure his belt before opening the door.
He can see your brother’s frown from ten feet away.
“Hoseok should really be the one to answer the door, Amsaja,” he says, eyes narrowed.  “Is he not here?”
“Yeah, I’m here,” Hoseok calls out, hoping like hell that his voice sounds even.  “Sorry. I was just -- uh, in the middle of something.”
Actually, I was trying to be in the middle of something.  That something being your sister.  That’s not going to be a problem, is it?
Yoongi looks between you and Hoseok and Namjoon but says nothing.
“So what’s going on?” Hoseok asks, desperate to move the conversation along.  “Something wrong?”
“Jeon is going to stay over tonight,” Namjoon says, pointing to the youngest man on his team.  Jungkook walks into the apartment and bows to you before taking a seat on the couch.
Namjoon nods at Yoongi before turning to Hoseok.
“The three of us have somewhere to be.”
**********************
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ineedglasses · 4 years
Text
VK Character Analysis: Rido Kuran
Rido is a complete, messed up, SOB, but I still like him as a character because he is simply such a fun villain. If I were to place him in that alignment chart thing, he would be “chaotic evil” without a doubt.
While he is generally seen as a creepy, sister-obsessed, maniac, I really believe he was different earlier in his life. 
This analysis is based off the Rido we see in the manga and the light novel, NOT the Rido in the anime, since the anime was trash and deviated from the manga when it came to his arc. Anyway, at the start of the post, I will go over the info from the light novel and manga, next will be my headcanons of him as a young man and at the end is my interpretation of him when he was crazy, as we see him in the original series.
                                                               XXX
The Deranged Love story in the Fleeting Dreams light novel talks about Rido’s obsession with Juri and gives some info on their past. However, when compared to the original VK series there are several points that don’t add up, and some parts of the light novel simply make no sense.
First, Both VKM and the light novel mention that Rido killed his parents and presumably devoured them to take their powers. That makes sense, it seems like something he would do. What doesn’t make sense to me is the timeline. When exactly did he kill his parents? 
All the light novel tells us is that he killed them immediately after they engaged him to Shizuka. Is this around the time Haruka and Juri got married? I always assumed Haruka and Juri have been married for a while, like at least 1000 years. If this is the case, within that time period, how can they not notice that their parents are dead and that their brother killed them? 
Or does their murder occur closer to the time Juri got pregnant? But this doesn’t make sense either because Rido referred to Shizuka as a “small child” when he killed his parents, and by the time Juri was pregnant with Yuki’s real brother, Shizuka was probably already at least one or two thousand years old. Unless Shizuka is much younger than we thought? So when exactly Rido kills his parents is quite the mystery.
Secondly, How did he kill his parents? 
I assume the older a pureblood, the more powerful they are. So how can he, by himself, kill his parents, both of whom are older and more powerful than him? I doubt his dad was a weakling because as former king of vampires, he should be quite powerful. In the light novel, it seems his parents were already wary of him and wanted to keep him away from Juri. Thus they wouldn’t completely let their guard down around him. And its not like Rido could carry around a hunter sword with him without it being noticed. Even if he was carrying something small like a dagger, his parents should have been able to overwhelm him in a fight since its 2 vs 1. 
Kaname has commented that “purebloods have equal powers, so they would only exhaust each other in battle”; basically it is hard to kill another pureblood unless you have some advantage (e.g. Shizuka being already wounded by Zero’s hunter gun). So the only logical way Rido can kill his parents is if he catches them off guard, such as when they are taking a centuries long slumber in the family mausoleum, basically doing what Sara did to Hanadagi. 
Thirdly, another point that makes no sense is that Rido in the light novel says:
“My parents had taken my precious Juri far away from me and made it so that we could never meet.” 
How exactly did his parents take Juri away and stop them from ever meeting again? Send her abroad with no intention of ever letting her return? And yet the manga clearly contradicts that, because Rido is still in contact with Haruka and Juri, he was there to see their firstborn baby!
Fourthly, this is a small detail that has always irked me: In the manga, when Yuki’s brother peed on him, Rido mentions that he used to change his siblings’ diapers when they were babies. 
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However the light novel kind of contradicts that, because young Rido upon being called in to meet his baby sister says: “I will confess that newborns seemed very uninteresting to me at that time”; does this sound like an older brother that would change his younger siblings’ diapers? It sounds like a guy who would leave baby care to the nannies and stay far away from soiled diapers. 
Finally, we get to the biggest illogical point in the light novel: Rido was a psychopath that just randomly developed an obsession upon seeing the newborn Juri.
“ It was in that moment – somewhere in the depths of my being – something abruptly flared to life. […] I was overwhelmed by the urge to devour her.”
No normal person just out of the blue feels the urge to consume a baby, only crazy people do. The rest of the light novel story continues depicting Rido as a psychopath. Their parents notice there is something wrong with their son because the mom slaps Rido and starts to keep him away from Juri. Adding on to this portrayal of him as batshit crazy, after he (somehow) kills his parents, he says the following:
“That’s what you get for getting in my way, you naughty things…” 
LOL, who in their right mind would call their parents “naughty things”?
My issue is this: I highly doubt Rido was crazy from the start, because it would make no sense. If Rido was crazy, how the hell could Juri and Haruka not have noticed for over 3000 years?! Even the dumbest person would get a clue that their brother was crazy after just 30 years, much less 3000 years. They trusted him enough to let him hold their baby, so they clearly believed Rido was not crazy. There is no way that Juri and Haruka were that stupid and blind. Thus, I doubt that Rido was crazy at the start of his life. So, this aspect of the light novel is just total BS to me.
IF Rido really was crazy from the start, then his mom and dad were bad parents. Yes, it makes sense to keep Juri away from Rido if he really were a psychopath, but their other actions were just extremely irresponsible and selfish. If you know your son is dangerous, maybe you should address this issue properly. After all, he is a pureblood and if you don’t deal with the problem, there will be huge repercussions for everyone given the destructive powers of purebloods. 
But instead of taking their son to see a mental health professional like any decent parent would do, Papa and Mama Kuran decided to solve the problem by engaging him off to a “tiny child”. I’m no parenting expert, but I’m sure if your son has mental issues, you definitely should NOT marry him off to any girl. Even if they didn’t get him some help, they should have at least locked him up like Shizuka to ensure he didn’t harm anyone... but they just let him roam free.
If this is the extent of their problem-solving ability, then it’s for the best that they ended the monarchy because they must have been cruddy rulers. But who knows, I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt, maybe they believed the “tiny child” they chose for him has a PhD in psychology and can provide their son with the help he clearly needs. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Anyway, I consider the light novel to be only pseudo-canon since it was inspired by Hino but written by someone else (Ayuna Fujisaka), so I will just ignore the parts that don’t make sense and keep the parts that do.
                                                              XXX
This following section is what I believe Rido to have been like when he was a (sane) young man, based on the info in the manga and the few bits that do make sense in the light novel.
Since Rido was the oldest son and born in a time when the Kurans were still the ruling family, he probably grew up with a lot of pressure and expectations as he was the crown prince. Given these conditions, he was most likely serious and hardworking, doing his best to live up to those expectations and preparing to be the next king (kinda like Eins in The Royal Tutor LOL).
He was also probably a bit older than Haruka and Juri (because according to the manga he has experience changing their diapers and taking care of them). And since he was probably busy with his princely duties, he did not spend a bunch of time with his siblings and thus Haruka and Juri were naturally closer to one another than Juri was to him. She probably saw him a respected older brother but not as reachable and easy to connect to as Haruka.
Rido was probably arrogant, possessive, and entitled even at the start (though at much milder levels than towards the end), which makes sense given his background. Not only was he a pureblood, but the crown prince too. And since he was prince, he probably had to deal with the dog-eat-dog world of politics from a young age, so that probably made him more cynical and darker than his siblings who had much less pressure and responsibility. It would almost be shocking if he was a humble and kind person instead.
Anyway, according to the custom of primogeniture, both the throne and Juri should have been his. Since it was tradition of the Kurans to marry their siblings, it only makes sense that as the oldest son and legitimate heir, he was the one that Juri should have married. Yet for whatever reason, their dad decided to end the monarchy, which must have been a huge blow to Rido who spent his whole life preparing to be the next king. He probably drove himself to despair questioning why and if there was something wrong with him that his father would pull such a move.
Then Rido probably got another big slap to the face: Juri choosing to marry Haruka instead of him, with his parents probably giving them their blessings. So not only has he lost the throne, he also lost the fiancée that should have been his according to precedent. And Juri choosing Haruka probably made Rido lose face among their society, since people would naturally wonder why Juri spurned tradition and married the second son instead.
(Actually, it wouldn’t matter if the monarchy getting dissolved took place first or if Juri choosing Haruka took place first, the point is both happened and it screwed him up.)
Rido most likely didn’t love Juri, but simply believed he did. He probably conflated Juri with what he lost/ what should have been his by birthright and became unhealthily obsessed with the idea of her. It didn’t help that the one Juri chose was Haruka, who we know has a mild and kind personality. To someone like Rido, those are traits probably considered “weak”, and thus he probably never thought of Haruka as his rival. Therefore, the fact that he lost to Haruka of all people shocked him, and there might have been some anger and sorrow at being betrayed by a sibling. So anyway, Rido’s emotions as well as his ego got clobbered.
But fate is not done with him yet! His parents most likely decided to engage him to Shizuka “without his consent” around the time that Haruka and Juri got engaged/married. They might have rushed to engage him off to whoever was available at that time (unluckily for Shizuka it happened to be her), hoping to get him out of the way of his siblings’ happiness. Rido probably was pissed, since not only does he not get to choose his new fiancée, the one chosen for him hails from a clan with a history of supposedly going insane, instead of someone with a less problematic pedigree. His parents really doing him dirty lol.
I think he really had some deep-rooted problems with his parents. Sometimes parents just don’t like their child, because of personality and ideological differences…Anyway, they were definitely in a strained relationship which would explain why Rido could go so far to kill his own parents and feel no guilt over it.
                                                                XXX
Finally, towards the end of his life he really just lost it.
Rido probably tried to keep up appearances and act like everything is okay and that his world is not falling apart, thus allowing Juri and Haruka to still trust him. But over the years he just stewed in his anger against his parents, his siblings and the world in general and turned into a very bitter and hateful person on the inside. And although he probably tried to suppress his growing darkness, his bad traits got amped up while his better traits died. It was probably extremely infuriating for him to see his siblings so happy in their pink glittery world while he himself was drowning in darkness.
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(Even Kaien was annoyed by Haruka and Juri’s “pink world”, imagine an already salty and bitter Rido seeing this type of scene for centuries and just frothing with rage on the inside LOL)
So Rido became a sadistic ass towards the end, taking his anger out on people that have nothing to do with it. He tried to make Shizuka miserable and force her to be docile and had no luck with that but succeeded in breaking Senri’s mom and driving the poor woman crazy. Though if you think about it, in a way he did succeed in breaking Shizuka too… he caused her lover’s death and when she lost her lover, she basically lost her will to live.
Hino showed how talented Rido is at antagonizing others. While he possessed Senri, he intentionally hurt Senri’s body to toy with Takuma.
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Even after his death, his dregs were tormenting Kaname by pointing out all his inner concerns, taunting Kaname about how he has no hope left. 
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In VKM, Yuki mentions Rido as someone “with overwhelming desires that only plunge the world around [him] into misery.” Overall, Rido probably got his giggles by making others miserable.
Besides getting high off ruining the lives of other people, he was just a bastard in general. He used everyone around him as tools, even his own sons. Unlike Shizuka or Kaname, he did not care about his subordinates at all, to him they were just “appetizers” and expendables. He also had zero reservations about forcing lower vampires to submit to his will.
Anyway, Rido probably was already a bitter jackass but he really snapped when he found out Juri was pregnant and would start a happy little family with Haruka. Maybe he was idiotically holding onto hope that as long as Juri didn’t have a kid, he still had a chance? Regardless, it was at that point that he gave up any vestiges of humanity he had left and decided to just pursue power instead.
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With no hope left he just decided to give in to his primitive instincts and lust after power, at the expense of family ties. In a way, he might have felt betrayed by his family, and reasoned with himself that unlike the throne and Juri, at least power won’t be stolen away.
BTW, I think his decision to sacrifice Yuki’s real brother to ancestor Kaname was spontaneous and not premeditated. After all, crazy people are unlikely to plan things in advance and just do as their whims dictate...
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Maybe it came to him right when he stared at Juri holding her newborn. 
“It’s such irony that this baby was named ‘Kaname’ like you. That’s what got me started thinking of this.”
Because his plan (if he had one) sucked. He should have known that the famished, revived ancestor would attack him, since the blood of a tiny baby was clearly not enough. And yet he made no preparations to fend off such an attack and ended up getting drained by Kaname.
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As a side note, Haruka could have killed Rido right then, when Rido was badly wounded by ancestor Kaname. 
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But he didn’t, and chose to have Rido imprisoned by the Senate instead. Haruka should have known that Rido would never give up on destroying his family as long as he lived, so the logical thing would have been to kill him. Even Rido mentions this later when he returned for Yuki.
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While Haruka’s pacifist nature played a part in this, I think he also restrained himself from giving in to vengeful rage partly out of the fact that they are family, and more likely out of guilt. Perhaps Haruka had always felt guilty for marrying Juri and realized that he was partly responsible for driving Rido insane.
Anyway, Rido crossed the line by killing a helpless baby and basically burned all his bridges. At this point he didn’t really give any fucks anymore. 
Asato mentions how Rido was like a child, even though he has lived so long. I think the analogy fits, because Rido acted like a child throwing a tantrum, trying to destroy everything and doing whatever he pleased with no regard for consequences or others.
In a sense, like Shizuka, Rido had already lost his will to go on living. The only thing keeping him hanging on was the need to lash out. Even though he acted like he was pursuing greater power, aiming to consume Kaname and Yuki to become more powerful, he wasn’t actually trying. 
If he was serious, he would not have gotten easily distracted, suddenly deciding to have Yuki replace Juri instead of continuing with the plan to devour her. Rido also didn’t bother trying to fight seriously at the end and Zero comments on this.
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Otherwise Zero and Yuki together could not have beaten him, given how Rido is much older/powerful and consumed at least 2 other purebloods. Even Sara said that Rido was acting foolishly reckless, saying he was just having fun.
                                                             XXX
Overall, given this interpretation of Rido, I actually feel bad for him. I believe that he drove himself crazy wondering why his parents ended the monarchy instead of letting him be the next king, and wondering why Juri chose Haruka over him. Those questions probably haunted him for centuries.
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That feeling that you tried your best, did everything you were supposed to, but still ended up with nothing is something I can relate to. Sometimes one just wants to watch the world burn given how unjust life usually is (even though logically we know it is wrong to feel this way). So yeah, these are my headcanons and analysis of Rido, who I prefer to see as a deeper/more interesting character than just a sis-con psychopath LOL.
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cordeliaflyte · 3 years
Note
Would love to know your thoughts on the rutger bregman book when you finish it!!!
dearest merle! it took me months to answer this ask - something i'm ashamed of - but i finally got around to finishing the book today.
the below is a condensed version of the ten pages of notes i took while reading it, which are rather chaotic and repetitive at points - but in my defence, bregman repeated his own arguments too.
one of the main arguments that bregman makes is that "evil" or "immorality" - which we'll define as causing unnecessary harm - are rarely caused by the individual, but rather the society they live in. i agree - nothing exists in a vacuum. however, society, as a nebulous concept, isn't imposed on us by some imperceptible power - it is crafted by people. people in society have different levels of power, and the harm they can cause to others is directly proportional to said power - but be it on a micro or macro scale, our actions have an impact on others and while they are influenced by the society we live in, we must nonetheless strive to minimise the harm we cause - and few of us do.
bregman illustrates many of his arguments with heartwarming stories about people coming together in times of crisis - take, for example, natural disasters - and overcoming adversity, selflessly looking out for their neighbours. but crisis very often leads to the creation of divisions, an us vs them mentality, and a complete disregard for the safety of others. the current pandemic is a prime example - see the widening of class differences, the rise in racist hate crimes, and people refusing to take safety precautions because they are inconvenient to them.
another argument repeated quite often throughout the book is the fact that media cherry-picks the most sensationalistic and senseless acts of death and despair, because human suffering is simply more interesting that the mundane - people talking to friends, creating art, laughing and learning. again, i agree with him - many of the more tabloid-adjacent news outlets would have you believe that the everyday norm is dismembered heiresses being found on riverbeds and charming, precocious children being held for ransom in tiny basements. the news doesn't often focus on the mundane - but the mundane isn't just love and work and friendship and boredom and chores, it is also, for billions of people around the world, sexual violence, familial abuse, workplace and housing discrimination, etc. these things aren't sensationalistic either - they're frightfully common, frightfully boring, and thus, they're rarely reported on.
throughout his book, bregman mentions that when he told people what he was working on, they approached the idea that humans are good with a large dose of cynicism, simply because we are raised to believe humans are selfish (which isn't the case worldwide, not all cultures are individualistic). they pick the easier choice - accepting the image of the world and their fellow humans that they are presented with at face value. i'd argue that it is the tendency of humans to pick the easier choice, to obey, to avoid challenging their worldview that leads to - for a lack of better term - immorality (see definition in point 1).
often, when bregman presents his feel good stories about people cooperating in adversity, he also mentions troubling details that, again, show undue harm being done. one of the examples he used were six boys from tonga, aged 13 to 16, who were shipwrecked on an island, and instead of descending into a "lord of the flies" style madness, they built their small community on the basis of communication and cooperation, never resorting to violence, and acting mature beyond their years. after a year spent on the island, they were rescued - and promptly arrested, an event which was probably racially motivated. and the reason they were shipwrecked in the first place was attempting to flee their school, where, according to their reports, they were neglected.
bregman contrasted the example of the boys forming a peaceful society on a small island with the chaos that always ensues when adults in reality shows are put in similar situations. the contestants are pitted against each other by the show runners, who seek to frustrate them and make them lose control for the amusement of the audience. whenever contestants try to cooperate, form a mutually beneficial society for a short while - a radical idea - they are punished. "goodness" - i.e. harm reduction - and radical thought being punished just don't seem like particularly helpful examples for the "humans are inherently good" thesis
bregman seems to be a big fan of primitivism, constantly citing civilisation as a source of harm - a position i'm always sceptical about, because personally i love vaccines and dental care, but i know this is a knee-jerk reaction and bregman isn't plotting a return to a land without dentists. but what i do take ire at is the idea that humans are somehow "corrupt" versions of their natural selves and that our lives have grown too complicated, and only a return to "primitive" society can return us to the aforementioned natural selves.
tied to the previous point - his arguments remind me of the "noble savage"'... archetype? he seems to paint a picture of "primitive" indigenous people as role models for those "corrupted" by civilisation, who in turn must be saved by a return to their "purer" selves, instead of individuals with flaws and agency.
speaking on indigenous populations - bregman also invokes the inhabitants of the easter islands. for a long time, the world at large believed that a hundred years or so before colonization, the islanders effectively perpetrated a genocide, killing off a large proportion of their population - a claim which was later disproven. yay! humans can live in peaceful societies without committing genocide, and thus, are not inherently evil! disregarding the fact that european colonists later massacred a large part of the islands population, and sold most of the survivors into slavery?
i was very excited for one of the chapters, entitled "after auchschwitz". i was interested how bregman would reconcile his argument with the tragedies of the twentieth century - the holocaust, but also genocide, and to a lesser extent war in general.
(this chapter, i might add, was preceded by a quote by anne frank - you know the one, about the inherent goodness of people. i was hoping that bregman would comment on the fact that anne wrote the quote before she and her family were sent to a concentration camp)
so you can imagine my surprise when the chapter was not, in fact, about concentration camps or genocide. but rather about. unethical 70s sociological experiments.
no really! a chapter titled "after auchschwitz" was, in fact, primarily about the stanford prison experiment. an experiment that was, granted, inspired by concentration camps, but still. it's misleading to invoke "real", large scale violence, and focus instead on "simulated", small scale violence.
we all know that the stanford prison experiment was, as far as experiments go, rubbish to legendary degrees. it doesn't prove anything - but it does, perhaps, show that people under large psychological duress are capable of evil, even when they themselves are not "evil".
it is, i'd argue, the human tendency to obey authority and especially to conform to societies standards that poses the largest danger. disobedience is man's original virtue and whatnot.
and when he does briefly refer to concentration camps, bregman treats them like a very 1940s phenomenon, disregarding the fact that they have been around for much longer and still exist today.
in cases like that one experiment with electric shocks. you know the one. do not, perhaps, show an innate tendency to violence, but rather people succumbing to pressure. but history is full of unprovoked instances of violence, of pogroms and lynchings. there is usually an instigator, yes, but judging from reports, people in the right mindset don't need much persuading to butcher other people.
also re: electric shock experiment - those who thought they gave the assistant lethal shocks showed extreme guilt and some even cried but like... so what? what use is a conscience if it doesn't stop you from, to your knowledge, killing someone? are your feelings really more important than your actions?
he doesn't say this, but a lot of the arguments he presents do seem to boil down to "people aren't evil, they're just stupid!" which doesn't sound more encouraging, i'm afraid.
an alternative takeaway would be "people are good, unless they have power" - which isn't exactly a radical, revolutionary idea. most people have heard the maxim "power corrupts". but the thing is that almost everyone holds some amount power over others - the oppressed factory worker in a poor nation who works 12 hours a day for pittance might still execute power over his wife, who relies on him for money, and she in turn might hold power over her children, and so forth. and that power is often used to cause undue harm and exercise control.
he criticises machiavellianism, saying it doesn't reflect how society works, and one of his proofs is that his philosophies were espoused by bismarck, churchill, and stalin - hardly admirable figures in terms of (you guessed it!) causing harm. but i don't see how that discredits machiavelli? like all of the above were very succesful
and he keeps repeating the primitivism argument throughout the book which gets tiring. like i'm truly sorry you were born in the last 5% of human existence thus far when, in your opinion, humanity started going to the shits, but it's getting a bit tiring
he cites money and nations as concepts as harbingers of the current (negative) state of humanity, saying they're very recent concepts and have no basis in reality. they're artificial concepts, sure, but their effect is very much real, and while achieving a nation-less, money-less society is possible on a small scale, i think that at this point they are such large aspects of life that reigning them in seems impossible.
and invokes the noble savage again and again, showing himself in favour of tribal societies, depicting them as egalitarian - i'm sure many of them are, but many also have a strict hierarchy or like. practice fgm. once more he seems to treat tribal people as a monolith of goodness as opposed to... people.
he also cites prehistoric people, their egalitarianism and low rates of violence but. forgive me for my ignorance because i did not research this. how do people know. doesn't the definition of prehistory include a lack of records??
he also mentions that in small, tribal societies, conformism can be a good thing, as it makes people act for the communal good. this is another knee-jerk reaction of mine but i think of conformism as society's most significant vice, so this strikes very much against my beliefs
later on, he also says reproduction is another proof of humanities goodness. perhaps it's a controversial opinion, but i disagree. i find it hard to find reasons for reproduction that aren't egoistic. it's survival instinct, sure, but it's not an "inherently noble pursuit".
later yet, he brings up schools which grant large degrees of freedom to students and shows how they're good for developing their minds. this might be a me thing but i know from experience that when i'm granted freedom without structure, i do nothing - though perhaps that speaks ill of me, and not humanity.
there have, in fact, been many studies on schools like this being helpful to student development and i certainly won't argue with them - but let me nit-pick. bregman says that fewer students have adhd in these schools, as it is a condition caused by being locked inside a room all day which is not only offensive, but also just plain wrong
and also while showing how granting children freedom lets them develop (which i naturally agree with) he brings up that "dangerous playground" study. you know the one. this isn't a coherent argument, this is just my bias speaking , but as a child, i promise i had no desire to play with rusty nails in abandoned warehouses. i liked my boring playgrounds with wooden swings.
then there is a chapter on communism and how it could be a remedy to societies ailments. but bregman and i seem to operate on very different definitions of communism. he naturally starts with saying maoist china and stalinist russia and cambodia under pol pot weren't really communist which... sure, if you want to argue semantics, i'm all for it, but it's an old and essentially useless argument. if "real communism" has never been tried (as the author claims) - why?
and then we pass to perhaps the most bizarre fragment of the book. paraphrasing only slightly: "but why are we now so opposed to the word communism? when we pass each other salt at the dinner table, is that not communism? when we selflessly hold a door open for someone, is that not communism?" i.... no?? no it's not. that's not what communism is girl stop
he then also says facebook is actually communist in many ways since a lot of its value comes from photos people willingly share for free. i could not make this up if i tried.
i think that in most terms i agree with bregman on policy - direct democracy, school and prison systems, changes to the criminal justice system - and our reasoning is partially similar, but i don't think the information we both have access to proves that humans are inherently good.
and then come perhaps my least favourite arguments because i for one am a spiteful bitch but yes. it is time for christian ethics 101 and turning the other cheek.
he cites ghandi and mlk as examples of turning the other cheek working. i think ghandi went too far with his policy, what with saying "jews ought to have marched silently to their deaths or committed mass suicide to make nazis feel ashamed" and like. we do remember they killed mlk, right?
as an example of turning the other cheek, he cites humane prisons in norway, where prisoners are granted much larger freedoms than usual and are on equal footing with the guards, who aren't armed and act more as councillors. i don't really see how this is an example of turning the other cheek, though - the guards are not the victims of the inmates (it was a prison for violent offenders - many of them murderers). i agree with him that prisons, if they must exist, should treat inmates humanely and with respect, but i don't see how this relates to the turning of the cheek. statistically, many of these men probably murdered their mates in a drunken dispute, or killed their wives - and i don't think turning the other cheek would have helped their victims.
he also cites south africa in the sixties as an example of turning the other cheek, when anti-apartheid activists would meet up with pro-apartheid activists and talk - this included nelson mandela who had frequent talks with the leader of a white supremacist paramilitary organisation of afrikaners staunchly opposed to black south africans getting the vote. and it worked - the man, whose aim was starting a civil war, relented. but racism isn't a simple matter that can simply be solved by talking. and it is often a pragmatic policy which i don't disparage, but turning the other cheek and having to treat someone who refuses to acknowledge your humanity with an exorbitantly disproportionate amount of respect is inherently degrading.
skipping ahead, in the epilogue bregman lists ten rules he tries to live by, and one of them is, i shit you not, "don't punch nazis". and punching nazis doesn't stop them from being nazis, but turning the other cheek gets people killed
the rise of fascism is perhaps one the largest threats we are dealing with and fascists are not just isolated and misinformed (and in this day and age, ignorance is a choice). they are dangerous.
this is by no means an essay or an exhaustive list, just a slightly chaotic and much overdue collection of opinions which i don't know how to put under a read more. take care <3
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lollytea · 3 years
Text
Fearless (part 1/3)
(Ty/Louie fairytale au fic. i am simply a bitch writing about my au and my oc so it is all very catered to me personally and im aware not a lot of ppl will read it. but if you DO read it, i love u so much. i guess tw for blood/serious injuries relating to teen characters. nothing too graphic but be warned. Also if you’re curious, info on the au here, here and here.)
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[OCTOBER 22ND, 6:19PM] The sky was bleeding pink and orange and Louie tried to focus on it. Didn't take much brainpower to appreciate a sunset. He clung to the sight with desperation, muttering the simplest thoughts under his breath like a mantra.
It was pretty. He liked sunsets. He liked pink. He liked orange. The distraction wasn't working. The unpleasantness that was already writhing in his stomach churned. His finger was on his temple, idly tracing delicate circles against the tightly wrapped bandage. His head hurt. The point where his shoulder met his upper arm was also dressed. The stitching still had to heal up. That hurt too. Louie was pretty stupid. Which was not something he usually thought. But it was a real kick in the confidence when someone sharp-witted did something stupid. And it was a real kick in the heart when someone who didn't wanna hurt anybody ended up hurting somebody. This was stupid. He had already tried reading as a means of distraction. Too hard. Too many words. Way too much of a strain on his mild concussion. This was so, so stupid. Sitting by his windowsill, he hoped this dumb bandage would be gone soon. His forehead felt sticky and damp with sweat. He was stupid. He wished Webby were here. If she were, she'd be in the courtyard below his window sparring with Dewey. At least then, Louie could watch and keep his mind occupied. No. No, that wasn't right. If Webby were here, she would've attached herself to Louie by now, hugging him tight until his injury healed. If it had been any other incident, Louie would let her, crumbling into her arms and whimpering about the pain as his amazing, magical sister made it all ebb away. But this wasn't any other incident. If Webby were here, he wouldn't be able to accept her hugs. The very idea rubbed him the wrong way. If anyone was entitled to healing hugs, it wasn't Louie, it was--.... His face twisted up. Webby wasn't here. She was off on some quest with Lena. Probably wouldn't be back for days. So there was no point in dwelling over hypotheticals. Louie would heal on his own. They were both gonna have to heal on their own. The sunset was fading.
It was pretty. Pink... Orange.... He couldn't do this. 
Why was he doing this?! Louie always knew himself to be a coward but this was to a pathetic extent. Depraved even. He felt sick. 
He couldn't. He just couldn't. Every additional second he spent hiding in his room was weighing him down. It was suffocating. But he couldn't leave. He was too scared.
Freezing up just like always. Just stop being so fucking scared! He would have to confront what he did eventually. There was no way around it. So, why couldn't he just go now? Louie had far worse things in his life to be dreading. Far worse. A ticking clock of trepidation was seated deep inside him. A predestined future he couldn't rewrite which, on all accounts, should render him paralyzed. But he wasn't. This was the sort of thing to demolish him. Apparently. Stupid. This shouldn't be overdriving his other senses. This shouldn't be flooding his mind. He shouldn't be drowning right now. This shouldn't have his hands shaking. This shouldn't have him pacing the length of his room. This shouldn't be stealing the oxygen from his lungs. His brain was pounding against his skull, protesting his rapid back-and-forth movement. He was dizzy. He shouldn't be crying. Fuck it! He was always crying, who cares about that?! Just stop panicking, just stop crying, just stop being so selfish for once and just own up. Louie's back crashed against his door, gasping for breath. Stars were blotting his vision and he couldn't breathe and it was the end of the world. Okay. Okay. He was spiraling again. That was all it was, it would be okay. It would be okay. The prince's bed chambers, alive with the choking sound of contained distress, subsided to complete silence for just a moment. Inhale. Exhale. And then all to be heard was a small, crackling voice straining to sing himself a quiet little lullaby. ___________ [OCTOBER 22ND, 10:07AM] "Your highness, don't be an idiot. You can't just---Hey! Wait up!" "H'oh boy..." Louie's eyes flicked to the high heavens. Right now he felt like he was tasked with personally escorting this goddamn boy across this goddamn forest by the goddamn ankles. He whirled around impatiently, crossing his arms with a flourish. "Pick up the pace, Tiberius. We don't have all day." "Can you maybe not be a huge pain for like... I dunno, five minutes?" Snapped Ty, his dearly devoted retainer and most notorious pain-in-the-tail. "Can you maybe loosen up? Y'know it's a real mood killer when there's a paranoid guy on my case all the time, insisting that the whole world is out to get me. Being constantly reminded of my fragile mortality? Woo, talk about fun times." Scowling, Ty stumbled his way over a protruding tree root. "You've got a bad habit of attracting danger, you know that, right? I'm pretty sure it's a Duck thing." The remark slapped the annoyed expression right off Louie's face. Ty quirked an eyebrow. "What's that look for?" Before he could further analyse, Louie sharply turned on his heel and strode on. "It's a Duck thing." He said, keeping his tone even. Both of them knew it was a Duck thing. Ty just didn't know the half of it. "Your highness," He heard Ty gripe. "You know this is a bad idea. A prince shouldn't be out in the open like this without proper protection. And I'm unprepared right now. I can't--" If Ty weren't yakking so much, Louie wouldn't know if he was still there. He wasn't wearing his armor for once so the familiar clank and clatter of metal was nonexistent. "You got your sword, right? You can do a lot of damage with that thing." "Yeah but no juice. And I need juice. See, 'cause what if we get in a tight spot and you--?" "What do you think is gonna happen, Ty?! For the love of all that is gold, It's just a party." "It's never just anything." He grumbled. Ty jogged ahead a little, matching his pace to Louie's. His footsteps alongside him were purposefully heavy So, he was stomping now. Real mature. Louie rolled his eyes. He was fully aware Ty was pissed, he didn't have to go above and beyond to make his anger known. "You really think I'm an idiot who doesn't take safety precautions? I'll have you know keeping Prince Louie alive isn't just your problem. Prince Louie is pretty serious about that too." He gestured to himself. "If you haven't noticed, I'm incognito today. I've got no crown, no mantle, no status whatsoever. And look at these ugly peasant threads," Louie pointed out, tugging at the hem of his dull green tunic. "It's actually kinda depressing how drab I look. I'm never gonna do this again actually. But! See how committed I am right now? Who's gonna recognize me? As we're all aware, I'm pretty well known for my pizzazz." "Just 'cause you stop being a prince doesn't mean danger stops existing." "No but it makes you way less of a target. Now, are you really gonna spend your whole day off bitching at me?" 
The glare Ty shot him was petulant at best. "Well, I didn't wanna. But I got dragged along on this little adventure so guess I gotta." Louie pursed his beak, irritated. He did not drag Ty along anywhere. 
"Come to think of it, I don't remember saying you had to follow me." Well, that came out as harsher than intended. Ty didn't seem hurt. At least, there was no sign that he was. No expression cracked his stone mask. "I've got a duty." Louie scoffed. Ty and his stupid duty. It was really starting to wear on his nerves. But not today, absolutely not today. On this fine, glorious day, Louie was intent on having fun. He would show up at this little forest shindig and he would drink and dance and schmooze and whatever else any carefree person at a party would do. He would forget about everything that was eating at him. He wasn't gonna let it consume him, he wasn't. He was gonna live. While he still could. His sixteenth birthday loomed closer. Six months left. "Sorry." Said Ty, unprompted. The shadows festering in Louie's head cleared out as he snapped back to the present. Ty had his eyes firmly downcast, a noticeable slump to his posture. "It's not like I wanna be running around killing the fun all the time. I really don't. But I gotta." Louie said nothing. His eyebrows rose in quiet astonishment as he studied Ty's side profile. He remembered when Ty first came into his life. Twelve years old, brandishing a sword too big for his body and grinning lopsidedly in an unmistakably trouble seeking sorta way. A real firecracker of a boy, loud and bright. Hungry for adventure and excited to throw himself head first into the action. He remembered one of Ty's earliest and most confident statements. When he lowered himself to bow to Louie in his uncle's throne room and declared that the prince would never fear for his life again. Because Ty would protect him and Ty was fearless. Louie believed him. Make no mistake, Ty had plenty of bite back then too. He had disliked Louie and the feeling had been mutual. But he never doubted that Ty had spoken the truth with his entire heart. Ty was fearless. When Louie was with Ty, he was safe. He believed that and he always had. Despite how they clicked as well as a dagger and a keyhole. Despite Ty being annoying. So annoying. He was still annoying. But it was different now. Louie couldn't pinpoint when that permanent glowing smile of his had dwindled and a thin frown had become Ty's default expression. His sword, something he always used to proudly haul around over his shoulder, now unceremoniously sheathed against his belt. Although Louie had noticed that his right hand never strayed too far from the hilt.   Protecting royalty with your entire being was an all-consuming duty and it seemed, at some point, the reality of such an allegiance had slapped Ty across the face. He had this distinct way of holding himself now. Always stood straight and rigid, coiled up with agitation. He was prepared to fight at a moment's notice but it was clear the thrill of doing so had been long since drained out of him. He still smiled. He still laughed. But only sometimes. Ty was annoying because he was paranoid. Because he was snarky. Because he was too stiff, too protective. And man, what Louie wouldn't give to have Ty's former brand of annoying back. At least never made him feel sorry for the guy. "Can I ask you a favor?" Louie finally spoke, pushing back a drooping tree branch so they could walk below it "You can try." Ty shrugged, his gaze still fixed ahead. "What if we just turn off this whole 'Prince and Retainer' thing today. Whadd'ya think?" He turned to him blankly, complete with a slight tilt of the head that made Louie a tiny bit weak. "Wha....?" Ty was simply not computing. He looked as though Louie was throwing out algebra equations and he was supposed to solve them right on the spot. And he was not a math guy by any means. The cute clueless expression was making it a little hard to focus. Louie swallowed. "Listen." He began, his thumb dragging itself across his sweaty palm as he struggled with how to phrase this. Louie had a way with words, always had. But he had a tendency to trip over his own tongue when Ty was involved. Especially when Ty was staring at him with his soft cande-light eyes and doing that stupid adorable head tilting thing and-- "You need a break." Louie blurted out. "You're stressed like constantly and it's getting kinda insufferable and I think your Dad would sick a dragon on me if his barely fifteen year old son suddenly kicked it 'cause of a paranoia overload so I think you should just forget about being my big strong hero for today and come hang out with me at this stupid peasant party and we can just be two regular kids instead of a royal and his bodyguard do you think you could give me that Tiberius?" It was only in the following beat of silence that Louie realized how fast he spat that all out. He struggled to catch his breath. One second. Ty blinked. Two seconds. A flicker of vacant eyes and then a rush of realization. And then disbelief. And then-- Three seconds. His brow scrunched together and a snarl crinkled his muzzle. His eyes flared. Oh, he was mad.... "Are you crazy?!" Ty shouted. He was beside himself with a malfunctioning mix of fury and incredulity that had him stammering his words. "You-You can't just--.....D-do you even-- you don't...do you realize how disrespectful that is? For you to say it? For-For me to do it?! I was given this duty by the King! The fucking King! To just suddenly "turn it off" would be--....I can't--!" Maybe "mad" was an understatement. "Ty--" Louie tried. He was cutting across Louie, treading back and forth on their forest path,. Not going further, not going back. Just walking to nowhere for the sake of being too scandalized to possibly stand still. Louie was attempting to get Ty's attention by grabbing his tunic but he kept shaking him off. "I'd be a disgrace! An embarrassment! I'm trusted by the royal family to keep--...to keep you safe! I-I can't just walk around with my liege like I'm on vacation and not be on guard! You don't even get it, you--" "Ty!" Louie said loudly."You wanna maybe listen for a sec?!" Frankly, he was surprised Ty halted his tirade. His eyes were blown wide, stunned and Louie wasn't quite sure why until he followed Ty's look, snapping down. Seems in his effort to get a hold of the guy, he had instinctively reached out and snatched Ty's wrist. They stood frozen for a moment, each set of eyes boring into the touch that tied them together. Louie's fingers began to uncurl. Then he decided no. His grip on Ty tightened with a purposeful squeeze. Ty met his gaze, looking....panicked? Confused? Didn't matter. He could besottedly dissect his unreadable facial expressions later. Louie inhaled, deciding to shoulder his dignity for just a second. No safety rails of snark this time. Ty might make fun of him for being sincere later but this was important. "Don't you miss being a kid with nothing to worry about?" Louie implored. "Because if we're being real, I don't think we're ever gonna get to live like that again." Ty muttered something to himself, shaking his head a little. "But listen," Louie continued, taking a step into Ty's personal bubble. Ty took an automatic step back. But since he was still holding his hand, Louie was led a step forward. It was difficult to tell with the pink fur but he could've sworn Ty reddened. "Look I know it's weird for me to be asking but....can't we just take a risk today? It's just a party in the woods. Literally the least likely place to find any danger in the whole kingdom." "We shouldn't--" "Ty, please." Honestly, Louie was a little surprised at himself. He hadn't even planned for Ty to accompany him anyway. But in the heat of the moment, everything had shifted upside-down. Turns out there was something inside him willing to beg. Something that wanted more than anything, for Ty come along. He just wanted a simple memory of just killing time with Ty. Separated from the castle and everything that reminded him of his fate. He would like to smile without a hint of dread for once this year. So, he said just that. "I'm not just trying to make you come along 'cause I'm stuck with you. That's not it." He swallowed. "You're--....you're cool. You're fun. I wanna have you around. You know, when you're not so worked up and you're just being yourself, I like hanging out with you." He tugged Ty's hand a little. Further from his sword and closer to Louie. "I want you to come with me. And I want you to try having fun too." He may as well just tell the idiot he thought about him every time he saw a sunset. The hand he was grasping flexed its fingers. Ty abruptly broke eye contact and glanced to the side, his tongue poking out to pierce the tip of his jagged tooth. His indecisive face. "I just--.....I dunno...." He muttered. "If something happened to you--" "Nothing's gonna happen to me." Said Louie immediately. "I've got a good feeling about this. And c'mon Ty, that coming from a coward?" "You're not a coward." He said, barely a whisper. He was now staring at the ground. "I promise." "Huh?" Louie smiled tightly as Ty looked to him questionably. "I promise nothing is gonna happen. I'm gonna be fine. You're gonna be fine. Now, can you do me this favor and maybe, I dunno, trust me?" The look Ty gave him was a little sad, but it was soft. And then with only a tiny twitch, it shifted into something else entirely. It was trust. Blind trust. Maybe stupid trust. A minuscule pang of guilt jabbed at Louie. Of course he wanted Ty to trust him. He needed him to if there was any hope of achieving his goal here. But objectively, he really shouldn't. Louie was hiding way too much from him. It wasn't fair. Then Ty broke the world, shattered orbit and played around with reality itself by cracking a smile and Louie forgot every coherent thought he ever possessed. He would never put on record just how long he spent pre-preparing jokes, gunning to get the corner of Ty's lips to flick upwards. Made him seem kinda desperate. Which he was not. Ty had that oh, so stereotypical "cute boy" smile. It was crooked, cocky, it was utterly obnoxious. Louie hated it. And worst of all, it was like a little spell to kick Louie's heart into high speed. Sometimes it dazed and confused him like a blinding light flash. But other times, it was warm and if he stared long enough, he'd fall asleep. Louie loved Ty's smile. Every time he tried to convince himself he didn't, he ended up dwelling on it too much and the way his mouth would quirk up would play in his mind on a maddening loop and then it would be too much to handle and the truth that he loved it would always overpower him. So, whenever that happened (like right this second.) he gave up and admitted it. To himself, anyway. He loved Ty's smile. He loved Ty. ......Wait. That last part was new, hold up. Rewind. But he didn't get the chance because Ty was talking now. Still a little dazzled, Louie didn't catch what he said but he figured it was good since he was still smiling. And then that smile broke into a huge grin, his eyes flashed with trouble and his hands were on Louie's shoulders and-- "Race ya!" Ty cried. With a light push, Louie was stumbling backwards and Ty kicked off into a sprint. For a brief moment, Louie could only gaze after him, stupefied. Love, huh? Like the real deal? That was crazy. But then he snapped out of as he recalled the audacity of this bastard. "You just pushed your liege!" He shrieked, receiving a loud "WOO!" from Ty as a response. And then Louie was grinning. He was giddy. He didn't quite know if he forgot about love in that instance or if it was the force powering him but he was tearing off after Ty, yelling about the latter's totally unfair head start. In hindsight, he should've figured it was love a long time ago. Who else would get him to run for no reason?
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wri0thesley · 3 years
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many many anons under the cut bc i didn’t want anyone to feel like i was ignoring them and i wanted to respond to u all! warning for small text too, it was so long i wanted to make it look smaller fgbnjkgkjn
Anonymous asked: NAT... you can write WHATEVER you want! It's your blog, and I hope that rude anons can learn to respect that. I used to be on your blog just for jjba content too, so when you started getting into jjk I was indifferent but eventually you dragged me into jjk so hard!! I already like bnha, so seeing you write for it only made me happier! I hope that you continue to write whatever make YOU happy:) ❤and yes, longer fics certainly doesnt mean it's better, quality over quantity
ahh i’m happy that you are here for all three!! i always feel so accomplished when someone is like ‘your constant screaming made me think about jjk <3′. all three of the fandoms are fairly popular and i tag everything v carefully so i hope people who do use the filtering find that useful!!! 
Anonymous asked: Goodness gracious. People really be out there thinking they're entitled to dictating what kind of content you should be making
i think part of it might be that i do take requests so people feel like they have like . . . a certain right to certain kinds of my content? i take requests mostly bc they keep me motivated, i like making content for ppl who cant find what they want bc i’ve Been There, but maybe people think i am a pushover? idk i am just trying to have a good time!!!
Anonymous asked: Hi. I only started following you a few days ago but please ignore that rude anon. People are so fucking entitled towards writers it's insane. I recently had someone throw a fit for "spoiling" something in my fanfic, even though the fic was about a manga-exclusive character, so what did they expect?? Overall I've really enjoyed your writing so random assholes coming to guilt you is just a shitty thing that happens. Keep going with what you wanna do.
ah gosh anon i’m sorry about that :(. i’m always super careful tagging spoilers and stuff but like, if someone clicks on a fic about say, naoya or the steel ball run boys and is mad that i spoil something they havent found out yet . . . yeah thats on them fgbnkjgfkjn
Anonymous asked: That...that anon had the nerve to say "we". The fuck?! No no no anon, YOU'RE the only one talking and you're just talking for yourself, don't you dare try and lump us other anons/followers up with you to make yourself look like you're right. We love you nat and we appreciate you. It's your blog, you're allowed to write about whoever and whatever. This brain dead anon just needs to either go read someone else if they're that salty or write their own stuff if they're that impatient.
gosh i WISH some of my mad anons would just write their own stuff honestly. idk if this anon thought they were talking for everybody but i guess they expected anons to agree with them and not be mad at them. i appreciate u anon ;_;
Anonymous asked: Just want to say that ily and you’re one of the best jojo fanfic writers in my opinion 💗 I don’t think you’re half assing jojo fics and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you being multi fandom. A lot of jojo blogs have started posting about jjk so it’s not as if you’re the only one. I’m not sure why you get hate like this but I think it’s just because you’re one of the popular writers and that makes people bitter for whatever reason. Keep being you and posting about the things that make you happy 💕
honestly after so long writing for jojo - i’ve written well over 200 jojo reader insert fics - sometimes it feels like i’m retreading stuff, and that’s when i take a break bc i dont wanna half-ass stuff!!! i love all of my fellow jojo friends who are posting about jjk too, i appreciate them <3. 
Anonymous asked: Hey my dude, ur writing has really grown since the jojo days and its better and awesome seeing u become happier to branch off and write in different fandoms 🤌🤌 those stupid anons are just boring farts that couldnt be bothered making their own content 😤😤 is it possible to block them to ease ur mind?
hello anon!! i run a statcounter for IPs but it doesnt always work for ppl who access through the tumblr app, i don’t think; a lot of the anon hate i get i just use the ‘block’ option, but last night got to me because i’ve been getting that kind of writer a lot which is . . . a bad look for the jojo fandom who are, as a whole from the ones i’ve interacted with, lovely!!! <3
Anonymous asked: People often forget, the person behind art or writing, is just another regular fan. You deserve to be happy with what you create and we should be thankful you share your talent with us. You also have right to change your main interests, and it's very normal thing. Jojo is one of the MANY things that you write for and all you get from that is a like or share. Its not your job. It's your fun thing to do, in spare time. You haven't betrayed anybody. That person was just rude, selfish and bored.
i am just a person doing my best!!! anime fanfic is one of many interests i have and i already devote a lot of time to it honestly, i love when people tell me they’ve enjoyed something i made bc it makes it feel worthwhile but equally it gets to me a lot when people are rude because i am usually trying my hardest. 
Anonymous asked: Bro that jjba anon... the entitlement🤮 Fam, you write whatever you want to write😤 -Saturday
dfnjbkjnkgf i find most fic readers are NOT entitled at all and are just grateful but when they are . . . oof. 
Anonymous asked: It's funny how people throw "we got you popular" and they think you start apologize and cry. Your writing and passion made you gain few numbers on a follow counter, nothing more. I think I'm too old for stuff like this, we are nothing more, but +1 on a number scale. You ow us nothing, we ow you nothing. Popular... Funny word. You just write for fun of it, fake scenarios about someone's manga characters. It's not that deep. Have fun and don't listen to people like this. I knew it's not that easy, but they are really not that important as they think they are.
extremely fun fact for people who think ‘popularity’ is important to me: i would 100% rather have 10 people who regularly comment, reblog my fics with tags and interact with me than 100 people who read my fic and either leave a like or simply move on. i think this is true for the VAST MAJORITY of writers tbh. i’m glad that people think i am a ‘popular’ blog (i am not in the grand scheme of things, one of my ex-best friends used to run a kpop reader insert blog with like 30,000 followers) bc it gives me an ego boost lmao, but i really just want people to read and enjoy the stuff i write!!! 
Anonymous asked: I followed you a while ago for jojo and when my friends started getting into jjk i was like...eh sounds like work...but now that I see you writing for it I feel really motivated to get into it!!! I really enjoy your writing and I want to be able to read the new stuff too!
ah anon i really hope you like it!!! it’s only one season rn if u wanna watch the anime and there isn’t too much of the manga to catch up on either but it is a lot of fun and it’s nice to be in a fandom that’s like, excited about a new chapter and new plot developments every week!
Anonymous asked: Pls dont reply if u dont want to! <3 I'm not sure if this will be of any help to you or not but this is the kind of thing that often helps me and is the only way I know to try comfort others so I wanted to give it a go~
Now im not gonna say 'dont feel bad pls' bc I know that's not really useful but what I do think is useful is just discussing why that anon and many others feel the need to respond that way. As someone who follows a lot of writing blogs myself and have done for a long time, i've seen my handful of favourite writers come and go for different reasons, lose motivation for a while, gain motivation for a while, go from multi to single fandom, or single fandom to multi. Often times as a reader it can be upsetting when things change but it's also important as a reader to understand that some things aren't in anyone's control, I can't control what my favourite writers become a fan of or lose interest of, I can't control things in their personal lives that may motivate or demotivate them to write, but what I can do is support them as long as they're active, and if they move on to do things i'm no longer interested in or i'm the one that changed interests, rather than being upset that they're evolving to do other things or that they're not evolving with me, I think it's important that I still feel thankful for the works that I enjoyed while we were still on the same page and this is how I personally deal with those negative feelings. I think the anons that lash out at you probably just dont know what to do with themselves, maybe they got attached to your works while you were still only a jjba blog and now that you're evolving they're upset, while I understand how they feel, they're going the completely wrong way about it. I've learned to take these things and turn them into something positive for myself or at least something bittersweet that I can move on from but the anons that lash out at you for whatever reason probably haven't learned this yet. Maybe it's because i've moved on and changed interests a lot myself that I know how these things go for both writers and readers but those anons maybe haven't experienced this as much so they dont know what to do with themselves other than complain that you've changed and throw insults at you in an attempt to get you to revert back. None of this is because of the quality of your writing like they want you to believe, it's literally just because you've evolved and while some of your old followers might not like the new content for no reason other than it not being their cup of tea, it's definitely not regressed at all. You are pumping out a lot of content right now but every single thing i've read has just been better than the last. Things that really stand out to me is how well you get characterisation down to a T and all of your dialogue is just on point and from the pov of a reader I think those things seem the hardest to get right so I am such a huge fan of your stuff at the moment and I can tell you're really putting so much thought and care into each and every fic no matter how fast you're producing it, I think the fact that you're also proud of what you're writing at the moment really shines through as well and I just adore the passion that radiates from every completed request as well as in the responses for the subsequent thirsts resulting from these works that appear in your ask box later (I know i've sent quite a few by now~)
Just to be clear i'm not defending those anons in any way, while I can understand what they might be feeling/why they're reacting in the way they are I still believe it's just so immature to be hateful online point blank. Even during a time where I still got upset with writers if they started doing something else I still never targeted that negativity directly to the writer and sending rude or hateful comments whether on anon or not never something i'd stooped low enough to do even when I still had an immature way of thinking, however, I hope that it might make it a little easier to brush them off if we try and understand what they're really upset about, and that they're just putting the blame for their negative feelings onto the wrong thing rather than coming to terms with change themselves.
hello anon!! i appreciate the long message. i do feel bad for people who have no interest in what i’m currently producing and i get that they feel upset about it; i’ve watched a lot of fellow jojo writers move on completely or just stop posting, honestly. this kind of thing is why i was so intense about asking people if it would be better if i made a separate blog but the resounding answer seemed to be ‘i’m just vibing with whatever happens and i’ll block tags as needed’. 
i often return to works by my favourite reader-insert writers who no longer write for the fandoms i like (and i read stuff bc it sounds interesting or i trust the person who writes it), but change can be difficult and i guess at this point i’ve - whether u like me or not lmao - been a fixture in jojo reader-insert tumblr for a While so it’s probably kind of jarring. 
anyway i really appreciate you and the nice words! <3 
Anonymous asked: hi nat! I just wanted to pop in and say that regardless of what fandom you write for, the love and care you pour into your writing and into interacting with followers who care about your work as well is really obvious. you're doing this for FREE and people should appreciate what you've given us so far, since ultimately this blog should be for you, whatever that means to you at any point in time. it's ok to jump fandoms! the important thing is that you feel good about what you're producing and that it makes you happy. everyone else is just a bonus - but, seeing you on my dash certainly makes me happy : ) I hope you feel better soon!
thank you anon! i’m feeling much better and happier today. birthdays are very difficult for me (i did not think i’d be alive at eighteen, much less 25!) so this event is definitely kind of a way for me to concentrate on something else, and i’m a little bit extra sensitive atm. i appreciate you so much, thank you for the kind words!!! <3
Anonymous asked: Hello! I just wanted to say, write what YOU want and make YOUR writings as long as you'd like. 💖 To the anon who is like "We mAdE yOu FaMoUs dOnt HalF asS iT" stfu, let people do what they wanna do. If you think they half do it, write something better and longer you asshat.
this is an open invitiation to that anon to send me a link to their writing blog and i’ll hype them up i promise <3 
Anonymous asked: nat i'm so so sorry about that ask please know that your older followers don't share the same opinion :( sometimes people forget about the living, breathing person behind the screen smh. you are not a machine. you absolutely should not restrict yourself to posting about one fandom forever. yes, we're first pulled in by your amazing content, but we stay for your wonderful personality and work ethic. please just keep being you, taking up projects you feel comfy with! <333 bless u
ahh thank u anon! unfortunately i actually am a writing robot, i’m sorry u had to find out this way. my jojo chip has been removed, please send it back so i can continue to not half-ass my jojo work. fgnjkbgjkfn thank you so much angel!!! i appreciate you ;_;.
Anonymous asked: i don’t think it’s fair for other people to say shit about what you choose to write about because on tumblr and other writing platforms, writers are constantly developing how they write and the fandoms that they write for. it’s not fair for someone to criticize that “you don’t care about jjba blah blah blah” because you can enjoy new shows/manga. and like you said you’ve grown so much!! proud of you nat and im glad that ive been able to read your works (sincerely other nat)
i am STILL waiting for you to come and fight me other nat fgnjkbnf. it’s nice to be enjoying different things! i am constantly learning new things and reading new works and making new friends and improving and i think that’s important. i do care about jjba - a lot! but i can care about other things too! <3 
Anonymous asked: I may not be one of your oldest followers, but i've been here for almost 3 years. Yes, i started following u for ur jojo content, but let me tell u, ur newfound motivation and enthusiam for other fandoms was honestly contagiuos for me. And i say this as a person who finds very difficult to move from one interest to another. Jojo is great, but so are other fandoms. Please don't let some faceless scum rob u that motivation. This is ur blog and u r always free to write whatever u want.
honestly, i have been there! i am autistic and i have special interests and watching other people move on to stuff i’m not vibing with has made me sad in the past, but i want people to be happy more than anything and sometimes that means new things and change! <3 
Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I saw that rude anon message & I just wanted to pop in & say that they're wrong. You're not betraying anyone & you should write whatever it is you want to write. I followed you for jojo & I'm not familiar with the other fandoms that you write for, but personally it makes me SO happy to see you enjoying new things! It's always good to find joy wherever you can, so keep writing what you're interested in. There a lot of ppl who want to see you happy and healthy <3
honestly the idea of it being a GRAND BETRAYAL is so funny, i am just writing anime fanfic here and thriving!!! tysm anon! <3
Anonymous asked: Those anons can piss off! They have no right to judge how long or how short your writing is. If they want longer content write it their damn selves. I think your writing has improved wonderfully and I originally followed for Jojo and I'm enjoying all the content period. I don't even watch jujutsu ( not my cup of tea personally) but I love seeing the creativity and the interactions. You write what makes you happy Nat and that's on that! You don't owe anybody anything! I know how hard writing is and when your consuming new content it's hard to make content for something else. That doesn't mean you don't like it any more your just doing something different for a while. Love you and your content and I'm enjoying the love your putting into your content whether long or short. ♥♥💕 Sending love your way!
honestly my idea of ‘short content’ is still over 1k words, i’m not good at reeling myself in! i guess it’s bc they see like, 1.5k jojo fic versus 5k jjk fic but it’s not that i didn’t enjoy the first fic, just that the point and the story came a lot quicker and so did the natural end! thank you anon, i appreciate you ;_; 
Anonymous asked: Hello! Just wanted to let your know that I think your writing is awesome, and that you should write for whoever and for whatever you want to! You dont have to stay loyal to one fandom or anything, and your followers shouldn't expect that from you! It's not like they are paying you to write, you are doing this for free, and because you enjoy it and it makes you happy! If they dont like your stuff, they dont have to follow you, they can go to other blogs that cater to their taste, and they definitely don't need to be sending you such hurtful comments, and they dont get to make you feel sad about your writing! Just because they followed you during your earlier stages of writing, doesn't mean you owe them some type of loyalty or compensation! You can write literally whatever you want as long as it makes you happy! That's what your hobby and your blog are for! I hope you know that alot of your followers love your work and think that you are an amazing writer and are down to support the work that makes you happiest! 💖💖
ahh thank you so much anon!!! i am always so bowled over by how many people are nice to me when something like this happens, i am sending you my love <3
Anonymous asked: don’t listen to them!! we love you as a writer no matter what you write, because you’re a good person and a talented writer!! you shouldn’t have to change what you write to please a bitter person, and if they only want jjba, they can go to another blog instead of bringing you down. you’re doing amazing and they should be thankful you grace us with your talents!!
to be totally honest, if i was half-assing or not vibing with content i was making i just. wouldn’t post it. like you’d be able to TELL when i was half-assing stuff just to get words out (source: i have re-read my own nanowrimo works). there are lots of great jjba blogs who could do with more followers n interaction!!! i hope they do find them and i hope they’re nice to them :(. 
Anonymous asked: Please don’t pay attention to that anon. People only have that confidence when they have anon turned on. Them looking through your blog despite feeling that way is peak fan behavior and speaks to how addicting your writing is. Naturally, you can’t please everyone and there will be people who are irrational and feel entitled to tell you what to do or what to write no matter what. Trust me when I say they’re a small minority and are more likely probably passing viewers rather than regulars. I check your blog about three or more times a day because I love reading not just your fics but also your takes, banter with other anons, or even random updates. Brainrot posts? LOVE TO SEE IT!!! Desk update? AMAZING!!! With that being said, don’t feel pressured to continue pushing out content for others. Write what makes you happy! You’ve been writing for JJBA for 4 years and it’s completely normal + healthy to get into new media. I’m not sure if it would mean much, but your love for JJK has gotten me excited to start it too!!
anon i really hope you enjoy it!!! sometimes these anons remember stuff i’ve posted and said better than i do tbh, i am living in their heads rent free i guess! 
Anonymous asked: I've been following you for a couple of years and honestly it would always be a joy to see when you posted. Your writing has improved and I'm very happy you're enjoying yourself ! I know it hurts hearing and seeing stuff like that but I'm happy you're here. I'm honestly blessed everytime you post. Your writing is phenomenal. I love reading it even if its characters that I dont care for. You capture their essences so well and weave an amazing tale within the prompts and whatnot. You're amazing nat!
wehh thank you so much!!! re: the improvement, i really don’t feel like it has and then i re-read something i wrote when i first started and i’m like oh my god maybe it has. did i really write about jotaro acting like that. 
Anonymous asked: Hi Nat. I recently became a follower of yours and I'm really saddened to see you get hate. You seem like a genuinely sweet person with amazing talent! I'm a writer myself and, unfortunately, get the same kind of comments. And when you get those comments, it doesn't leave you feeling motivated. People need to understand that people can and will, at times, grow out of fandoms. (1 Not just that but you're doing all of this for free. Again, I'm sorry you got such a comment. But please know that I'm proud of how far you've come. I'm proud that you're living a life that makes you happy. And no matter what fandom you may find yourself in next, I will always enjoy your writing. Take care of yourself. (2 end
HELLO NEW FOLLOWER I LOVE YOU (i get a lot more a day now than i used to and i feel guilty about not being able to look through so many blogs but i do try and follow back other writers for my fandoms!! ;_;). i’m sorry you get the same kind of comments! i’m always just happy to see people i like enjoying new things, even if i have no interest in it (hello to all of my mutuals who write for hunter x hunter and haikyuu, not interested but i’m sure you’re having a great time and i support you!!!). 
Anonymous asked: I'm sure you're getting a barrage of supportive messages now (at least I hope so) but I figured I'd add my voice, because I'm a longtime follower. Your writing is, and always has been, wonderful. I've been so happy to see you and Haz get to a place that works for you both. Idk if it's obvious for everyone, but you seem like you're emotionally in a pretty good place most of the time these days, and it makes me really happy to see that. I followed years ago for JJBA content, but I stayed because regardless of what content you put out, I find your wit delightful. And I'll stick around even if you move fandoms entirely, because whatever content or editorializing you produce is going to be worth reading, regardless of what it's for.
ahh, anon!! thank you for sticking around so long, sorry if you’re old enough to have been around the vore and jorts and spider rohan fiascos! <3 i am definitely a lot more stable than i have been and - barring the Pandemic Related Mental Health Issues - happier! i’m glad that it’s noticeable! <3
Anonymous asked: It actually makes me mad how entitled some people are. Nat, you're not a content creating machine and those who expect you to be are not worth wasting a thought on. Your love for something is not measured in word counts and for you to write every day without getting burned out in the slightest you really must have a burning passion and huge dedication to your craft. If others decide to send hate then allow me to send admiration because I can feel your love and hard work in each post you make!
i try and write every day bc it’s super good for my little ocd/autistic brain to have routines and distract itself, so i’m glad other people can enjoy them because that makes me motivated to carry on! like, i write for myself mostly bc the content i want i sometimes get find, but filling requests and writing for other people also leaves me with happy warm fuzzies too! i appreciate you!! <3 
Anonymous asked: If people only care about your writing for the jojo porn that’s on THEM, not you. Your writing was amazing when I followed about a year ago, and it’s only gotten better and will continue to get better! I think it really comes through when you enjoy what you’re writing and it adds a whole other layer of worth to it, because not only are you making free content but you LIKE that content and we can all gush about it together!!! More than just fans, I think you’ve created a community here and we don’t just stick around to read smut, I promise you that. -Reronon
i do miss having a discord community bc it was nice to talk to everyone in real time but it was hard work, i am glad that people feel like they can just come into my askbox and gush! i’m not very friendly in real life and people tend to think i am cold and stuck up so i work very hard to try and seem friendly and approachable online, which is much easier for me because i get to think and re-draft before i type! <3 
Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I’m sure you’re getting a lot of messages like this right now but I just wanted to say for what it’s worth that, as a person who originally followed you for jjba content and hasn’t watched/read any of the other series you’re currently writing for, I’m honestly still along for the ride. This is your blog and you’re allowed to do what you want with it and put out what content you feel like writing. Sometimes??? People acquire new interests??????? Shocking! I know absolutely nothing about jjk or bnha but out of curiosity still read some of your posts about them and even though I might not Get It, I still enjoy them because I think you’re a very talented writer! Honestly, as long as you’re still writing, I’m still down to clown, and whenever you take breaks (which are important!) I’ll still be waiting for your return or supporting and respecting your decision to stay away longer. Don’t let the entitled assholes get you down. Utilize YOUR blog and YOUR space however YOU choose. Your talent and kindness speak for themselves. Love you!!! ❤️❤️❤️
anon i care about you and i am so appreciative of you and everyone for sending me such nice messages! i am running out of ways to say it but it’s true, it really does mean a lot to me ;_; <3
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princess-rosie · 4 years
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Hi, @sophiexteresa ! You sent me a prompt a while back, can I interest you in some simple Moceit hurt/comfort? Really hope this is ok!
Warnings: cursing, emotional repression, crying, just a whole lot of Patton angst
Ship: Moceit
Characters: Patton and Janus, Roman is mentioned only very briefly
(Human au)
A/N: Really sorry this took so long!
Janus had had an awful day at work. He loved his job as a lawyer, but saying it could be tiring sometimes was a huge understatement. The opposing lawyers and others involved could be pushy, self-entitled and as someone with a low tolerance for people’s bullshit as it was, Janus could get very frustrated at his job sometimes. And today had been one of the worse days.
Patton’s day had been no better. Being a pre-school teacher was a job of many ups and downs, and helping these kids to learn and socialise was something Patton wouldn’t trade for the world. But it could be exhausting, having to put on a mask of happiness for the children, even on his most saddest days. Sometimes Patton was just sad. He didn’t know how, or why, he was just sad. And there was nothing anyone could do- nothing could make him happy again. He wanted to curl up on the couch and cry when he arrived back home, but he knew that his boyfriend Janus would be home soon and he could sense Patton’s bad moods a mile away. Yet, every time, he still tried to hide it, his acting getting more convincing with each attempt (maybe he had learnt something from that one time he went to the play rehearsal of his and Janus’ friend, Roman.) He tried to do some baking, holding out (most likely false) hope that this would cheer him up a little. He put on some music, slow and sad, as he made his way around the kitchen, trying to throw together the ingredients for cookies.
Around twenty minutes later, he heard the sound of a key turning in the lock and he immediately stopped what he was doing and dashed to turn the sad music off, at the same time plastering on the biggest, most fake grin he could manage. He flinched as Janus practically slammed the door, and could almost feel the anger radiating from him. He always found that, after developing a close connection with someone, he could feel their emotions, to some extent. And it was extremely evident that Janus had had a crappy day too- that gave Patton all the more reason not to bother him and just pretend everything was fine.
“Hi, Janus!” he said breezily, taking the cookies out of the oven.
Janus was frowning as he entered the kitchen, but his scowl reduced significantly once he saw Patton.
The one nearer the oven turned away, knowing that if he met Janus’ eyes for too long the other would see right through his facade. He placed the tray of cookies on the counter and cast his boyfriend a sympathetic glance.
“Work that bad?”
“Terrible,” Janus practically spat. “Patton, why are people so exhausting?”
“I don’t know, honey,” Patton said quietly, fiddling with his apron as he looked anywhere but at Janus.
“I swear,” the one in the bowler hat continued, “if one more whiney idiot comes to me today with some stupid, petty problem, I may just completely lose it.” He snatched a cookie from the tray, although they were just out of the oven it didn’t burn his gloved hand.
What Janus just said completely settled it- Patton was not going to talk to him about how he was feeling. Just like he was used to doing, he pushed down the sadness and cheerily asked,
“What do you want for dinner? Guess I already made dessert, but we should probably eat a main course other than cookies, hehe.”
“Make whatever you want, Patton. I’m going to go upstairs and put my work things down, call me when dinner is ready, ok?”
And he ascended the stairs without another word, leaving Patton alone with his sadness once again.
Dinnertime passed without much conversation, the sun began to dip below the horizon and the sunset faded into a starry night. Patton wished he could just enjoy the beautiful sky, but the swirling negative emotions inside him begged to differ, and made him feel like he was about to burst. Janus had gone to bed early, and Patton was stood in the bathroom, brushing his teeth when he finally let the tears fall, almost silently, careful not to wake his boyfriend. At least now, he could cry it out in here, then slip quietly into bed, hopefully feel a little better tomorrow and Janus would never have to know. More tears fell, Patton finished brushing his teeth and put his hand over his mouth to quiet his sobs, finally finding at least a way to vent his sadness. Not comfort. Just an outlet. But it was fine! This was all going exactly according to pla-
“Patton?”
Well, shit. There really was no covering this up now.
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying? Patton, you have to talk to me-“
As Janus bombarded him with questions, Patton only started sobbing more, curling up into a tight ball on the bathroom floor. Janus wrapped his arms around the smaller man and picked him up. Patton instinctively clung to Janus as he was carried to their bedroom and placed down on the bed. When his tears finally subsided, he looked up with those bright eyes and Janus’ heart practically melted.
“You’re going to have to tell me why you were crying,” he bluntly said.
Patton sighed, defeated. “I know. I’m sorry. I have no reason to be sad, I can’t help it! You always seem to find out, I was trying so hard to hide it this time, I swear! I didn’t wanna bother you, I-“
Janus placed a finger on Patton’s lips. “Stop right there. Patton, I love you. I never, ever want you to think you have to hide your feelings from me, you understand?”
Patton slowly nodded.
“What in the world made you think otherwise?”
“You said earlier, you didn’t want to be annoyed by anyone today...”
“Patton, I didn’t mean you, I could never mean you. Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry. I should never have let my bad mood make you think your feelings don’t matter to me. I... you listen to me very carefully. Whatever you’re feeling is perfectly normal and valid. Please, you have to try to talk to people about your emotions- it isn’t selfish, you have to look after yourself. Bottling it all up like that is very unhealthy. I hate to see you suffer, I only want to help. Alright?”
Patton sniffed. “Ok, Jan.”
“I think it’s time you got some sleep, my love.”
Only then did Patton realise just how exhausted he was, and he clambered into bed. He couldn’t guarantee that he’d feel better in the morning, but now he knew that he wouldn’t be going through this alone. Patton knew nothing could fully cure these bouts of sadness and apathy, but there were a few things that made him almost forget his sadness altogether- and cuddles from loved ones was one of them. As he fell asleep in Janus’ arms, he knew that no matter what happened, he’d always be loved and supported by his boyfriend.
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minaminokyoko · 4 years
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I know I’m screaming into the void here, but
Can we talk about the lack of HarriKarri content in Peace Talks?
Spoilers for Peace Talks below. Also, a very long rant.
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Disclaimer: Recently, the reading community has been having conversations about expectations related to professional authors backed by one of the Big Six or equivalent traditional publishing companies. The points I’m about to bring are not me being entitled. I understand that Jim Butcher is not obligated to give me everything I want. I will not demand that he do so. I just want to have a conversation about something I feel is oddly dissatisfying about the content in Peace Talks related to Harry and Murphy, which is my own opinion, and said opinion isn’t going to be slung at the author or anything distasteful like that.
Right, so, to give some context, I’m not a fan of Peace Talks. I read it once and then just sat on my couch for several hours after trying to figure out what to even do with myself because I waited six years for what I consider to be an underwhelming book that was mostly just set up for Battle Ground. I mention it because I admit that if we get Battle Ground in September and all the content in Harry and Murphy’s relationship that was missing in Peace Talks is in Battle Ground, fine, I’ll retract my statements. Some fans have already expressed that they can’t really review Peace Talks or give opinions on it because it feels so much like a companion piece that you can’t evaluate it until you’ve read Battle Ground, as the book seems to be nothing but the precursor to Battle Ground. It doesn’t stand on its own very well, at least not in my eyes, but let me get to the point.
The reason I’ve been feeling angry and betrayed by Peace Talks’ lack of HarriKarri content isn’t just because I’m the Queen of the Harry/Murphy trashpile. I’m not speaking strictly as a shipper this time. Y’all know me. I mean, look, I’ve written 185k words of Harry/Murphy fanfiction, most of which was written during the incredibly long wait between Skin Game and Peace Talks. Yes, I know, it’s hypocritical of me to say I’m not writing this post because I’m a big dumb shipper queen. I do mean it that I sincerely think it’s outright bizarre that we got so little insight into how these two best fire-forged friends and lovers are doing in a romantic relationship.
Let me make my case here. Okay, so the first thing is that romance is a huge element in this series. Harry’s love life is important not only to him as a character, but it actually plays directly into the plot, from Susan’s selfish stupidity to Elaine’s mistrust to Luccio’s mysterious manipulation to Lasciel’s Heel Face Turn. If someone wanted to argue the reason we didn’t see much of Harry and Murphy together as a couple is because romance isn’t the primary focus of the series, that’s not going to hold water. The connection between Harry and his paramours has always been a large element in each of these books in various ways. That’s probably the first thing that signaled that something was off about Peace Talks.
Think about the previous books. Harry’s relationships are both a source of comfort and conflict for him, allowing him to learn and grow as a character, and none moreso than his relationship with Murphy. I have so many of their scenes vividly memorized by now because of how important both friendship and love are to Harry and to Murphy as well. There are milestones that they’ve reached starting from Storm Front onward. I would honestly argue it is the most developed relationship in the series, in terms of how much these two trust and respect and love one another and understand where they fit into the other person’s life. I remember reading that bit in White Night where Bob says they swapped souls through a hug and that left a huge impression on me because I think that’s what soulmates would look and sound like in real life (wouldn’t know, I am single af and going to die an old cat lady.) It’s to a point where, in my honest opinion, there is no Harry without Murphy. She is the other half of his soul. Where he is weak, she is strong, where she is weak, he is strong, and they move forward through every conflict knowing that about each other. And I think the reverse is true. We saw how Murphy took Harry’s disappearance and death—it fucking broke her. Her entire personality and beliefs came crashing down and while she was still able to function in his absence, she was just as much a ghost as he was.
So why the fuck wasn’t there anything in Peace Talks illustrating just how vital this relationship is?
I’m not keen on reading the book again, but from what I remember, we were given roughly three significant interactions between Harry and Murphy that had anything to do with their romance: Harry at the house while she’s recovering, the scene where she takes the casts off, and then her talking to him after Ebenezar almost kills him. And…that’s it. Do they still interact in the book? Yes. But it’s nothing memorable, aside from the threesome suggestion (in all fairness, that was hilarious, and it was even more hilarious to me that both Harry and Murphy didn’t outright say no).
Why is that weird? Because I can seriously name book by book how many significant conversations and scenes that Harry and Murphy have that develop their dynamic, sexy, fun, beautiful relationship…and yet the book where they’re actually together, after sixteen goddamn books, has almost nothing.
And it shouldn’t be like that at all.
I know my own bias. Really, I do. I’ve written so many Harry/Murphy fics that I was bound to be let down when we actually got the canon relationship, but the difference between me being let down and me feeling betrayed is that it feels like it’s for no reason. There are plenty of spots in the book considering it’s kind of short where Butcher could have given us insight into the way they hooked up for the first time. I know I don’t speak for the entire fandom, but I do know there are enough of you who like me wanted to know about their first “official” date or seeing how the people in his life reacted to them finally getting together after so many years. That’s not just shipper trash. That’s satisfying storytelling payoff. It is extremely important to us as readers and to the actual narrative itself that we see what it’s like for Harry and Murphy to be in a mature romantic relationship. Both of them have been longing and pining for each other for ages, and yet Butcher doesn’t give us the meaty bits we’re dying to chomp our teeth into. For God’s sake, Harry was hung up on the little things about Murphy, like her riding her motorcycle or her cute nose and ear lobes or the way she smiles or how she gives him the sass right back to his face. Yet we don’t get any indication of the momentous event of the first time he actually got to second base (or more) with her. We don’t see any of the things that we were clamoring for because these are two best friends giving in to serious feelings and that’s a huge deal since they’ve both pretty much been smitten since Storm Front.
It’s not a matter of appeasing shippers at this point. This relationship is a huge change that is important to both of them, and we didn’t get jackshit about the transition from friends to lovers. Hell’s bells, there’s an entire genre of fics in every work of fiction devoted to this trope and yet Butcher just skipped over it. I swear I’m not making mountains out of molehills. It doesn’t make sense that all the previous books with the exception of Dead Beat (since Murphy was out of town) have significant moments between Harry and Murphy that build on their friendship and partnership yet the moments in Peace Talks are way too short and aren’t anything groundbreaking or memorable. And this is them canonically together, heading for the iceberg, being with the person they love dearly. I want to know what that’s like because I care about them and it feels inorganic that it’s brushed off for plot or other things instead.
I don’t get it. I truly don’t. If Butcher is waiting to unleash the content I want in Battle Ground, I guess that’ll help, but after so much build up, why in God’s name wouldn’t you explore all the things we want to know about how their romance is going? Harry and Murphy have been through literal hell together, for God’s sake. They’re both cagey and in extremely stressful situations—especially poor Karrin—and yet it’s just brushed aside time and time again. It would keep us grounded to see how they handle it as it is one of the few nice things in their lives that they have left.
Those of you who know Butcher know that he’s one of the sadist authors. I know that too. He thinks it’s funny to make us angry and frustrate us and he may have already said it in an interview or a podcast why he chose not to go into detail about the romance (feel free to link me if he has) but for the first time in my life, I think that’s not good enough. It’s not a good enough excuse for Butcher to giggle and intentionally not give us the content we want just because he thinks it’s funny. Yes, as the author, you choose what you write, but this is a slap in the face to people who have been reading these books for so many years and rooting for Harry and Murphy to get their shit together and be happy. We know how the series is gonna end—fucking bloody as hell—so these precious moments are that much more important. If he’s said he didn’t include romantic elements in this book because “haha trollface,” then he can fuck off. We’ve invested time in this series. We care about the relationship and there are so many creative, fun things that could have come out of seeing them together after all this build up.
And yeah, I know, I can write another 185k words of fix it fics and missing scenes. I probably will anyway. I’m frustrated because this isn’t just some shallow checkmark romance in an urban fantasy series. These two are incredible characters and it’s a negative reflection on the work itself when Butcher spent all the time in previous books building up the sexual tension and the pining and the deeply felt affection only to just cut to curtains fluttering when they’re about to get to the hanky panky or just have a quick “I love you” in the tub or the brief talk about family at the end. There are so many conversations they could have had. There are so many scenarios with the potential for romance even with their chastity belts firmly in place due to Murphy’s injuries. This isn’t about sex. This is about fulfilling a precedent that Butcher purposely set up and then just seemed to wave it off for some reason. I’m not saying the book is bad because we didn’t get the content; I’m saying it would’ve been a lot goddamn better if we’d gotten that content. 
Butcher’s gonna Butcher. No one can change it. I can’t make demands. My fifteen bucks doesn’t mean I get to call the shots and tell the man what to write.
But I just want to note that I thought it was a pretty shitty choice to exclude it.
Sigh. See you guys in Battle Ground, I guess.
And also AO3.
I’m gonna write a fuckton of missing scenes and no one can stop me.
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Suspicious With A Side Of Concern
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Words: 3.9k
Warning: a little cursing and a tad bit of suggestive themes. seriously, just a smidge. this is v mild and v soft
A/N: uhh hi there 😊 it's been awhile heh but it's San's birthday (one of my ults) and I managed to write this! it's probably not that great and it's not edited (bc it's after 5AM 👍🏻) so I'm sorry if it sucks or is full of mistakes, I may come back to it and fix them if there's a lot. but uhh yeah! I love my sweet boy so much and I'm so proud of him and I'm feeling v mushy lately hehe 🤭 and yeah, yeah, I know I’m not funny but I make myself laugh and that’s all that matters right? lol also this is pretty self-indulgent (hmm I’m noticing a theme in my recent works haha) but I hope you enjoy it anyways! happy birthday Sannie!!! I love you to the moon and back ❤️❤️❤️
San was suspicious. And a little concerned, too. The kind of 'suspicious with a side of concern' that can make feelings of offense and being forgotten crop up. In other words: not good. And what time could be worse to feel 'not good' than the days leading up to your birthday?
OK, so that clearly was not your intention when you had initially conjured up your plan for your, frankly, rather significant and audacious gift for San's birthday this year. Typically, you go all out with anything you get or do for San because he's just fun to spoil like that. Like in past years, you'd taken him on mini vacations or got him lots of small gifts and gave them to him over a period of a few days. And you always spent the entire week celebrating, not just the day of. So, logically, if you had actually formed a plan instead of just devising the end result of said non-existent plan, maybe you would have thought of how San might react to things being so different than years past. But 'foresight', what's that?
When you noticed San was more moody and petulant than usual, you tried your best to make things seem as normal as possible, not wanting him to catch on to your surprise. You had found him pouting at the kitchen table late one night, a few days before his birthday. "Sannie, baby. It's three in the morning, is everything OK?"
"Are you mad at me?" he blurted out unexpectedly, not answering your question. When he saw your confused expression, he continued, "I mean, did I do something wrong? Something to upset you? I swear it wasn't intentional and I'm sorry that I don't know what it is. I-"
"Of course not, babe!" you cut him off, "I was just worried because I rolled over in bed and you weren't there when I tried to cuddle up to you. But what makes you think that I'm mad at you, lovebug?"
You slid into the seat next to him as he sighed deeply. "I don't know, I just… God! This is gonna sound so stupid and selfish and spoiled!" Taking his hand in yours to silently reassure him, you squeezed his fingers slightly and softly rubbed your thumb along his knuckles. He took a deep breath before he tried to explain himself, "Umm, this whole week has been different than other years? Like, usually we do lots of stuff for my birthday and this year we haven't done much of anything and I'm not complaining because it's not that I expect a lot of presents or a vacation or something and I haven't said anything because I don't want to sound spoiled or like I think I'm entitled to a lot of big, expensive things, it's just that I'm not used to it I guess and I think it's making me feel like I did something wrong to upset you so you aren't treating me like you usually do as some sort of punishment, not that I think you'd actually do that to me because you're the sweetest thing in the world and I know you love me and I love you so much and I just-" San let out a frustrated groan and dropped his head to the table with a loud thud. He sighed again and lowered his voice to almost a whisper, "That did not come out like how I wanted it to."
The gears in your head were turning as you stared fondly at your boyfriend, a small, sad smile curving your lips. You felt horrible that San thought you were upset with him because, after all, that's the last thing you want. San and his happiness and contentment is the most important thing in your life. You also weren't sure how you were going to explain yourself without revealing the secret you were working so hard to conceal. Winging it seemed like the best option at the time since you could tell San was getting antsy about your silence.
"Sannie, can you look at me, please?" you began. When he lifted his head, your eyes found each other's, while your empty hand searched for his. "I'm so sorry that I made you feel like I'm mad at you! I promise you that I'm not even the slightest bit upset with you. You did absolutely nothing wrong -- you're perfect, baby." Releasing one of San's hands, you reached up to gently push away some stray hairs that had fallen into his eyes before running your fingertips across his pretty cheekbone. "You should know that none of what you said sounded stupid or selfish or spoiled. We've built up a sort of routine and a sudden change to that can be kind of disorienting. You have every right to be confused and I'm not going to make up excuses for how different things have been the past few days, I won't do that to you. In all honesty, I've been preoccupied and a little distracted. But I'm sorry that I let that get in the way and I promise that it won't happen anymore. And I'm so sorry that I've already made this your suckiest birthday ever and it's not even your actual birthday yet! That's definitely a new record for me, ruining something before it even happens." You mumbled the last part, ashamed at yourself and silently hoping San wouldn't hear that bit.
He let out a small chuckle that sounded much closer to normal San, easing your worry slightly. "It's not sucky and you didn't ruin anything, which by the way, you know I don't like when you put yourself down like that," the evident pout in his voice faintly reddened your cheeks with embarrassment despite the fact that he wasn't even scolding you. You whispered a quiet apology and San brought your left hand up to place a kiss on your knuckles. "You said you're preoccupied and distracted but I'm not going to press because I know you'll tell me when you're ready." When you thanked him, he tilted his head and looked at you with pure adoration and you felt his gaze travel over the planes of your face. "Thank you for understanding me, even when my words are messier than all us boys in white shirts eating wings with no napkins."
Trying, and failing to keep a straight face, the two of you dissolved into fits of giggles. "I thought you were going to be romantic or something but you said that and-" you cut yourself off with another loud laugh and shook your head, smiling endearingly. "I love you, cutie! But you're saying weird things so I think we should head to bed. Not that sleep will actually help you but we can always try." San shoved your shoulder as you stood before scooping you up in his arms and peppered kisses all over your face.
San had been in a great mood the morning of his birthday, considering he had woken up to you bustling about the kitchen making his favorite breakfast while wearing nothing but his oversized t-shirt. Strong arms and the frigid tip of San's nose against the junction between your neck and shoulder startled you, causing you to drop the spatula in your hand. He giggled softly at the small squeak you let out in surprise and squeezed you a little more snugly into his broad chest. "Mornin'," he mumbled against your skin.
"Hi," you chuckled as you shrugged him off to bend down to pick up the utensil that had fallen on the floor. You knew he was pouting when he had to let go of you and you could easily imagine the smirk that made its way onto his handsome face as he came up with his next idea, smacking your ass before you stood back up to place the dirty spatula in the sink.
You gasped in false offense, "How dare you!"
"Well, when you look like…" San gestured at you, his stare sleepy but very interested, "That, can you blame me?"
"I most certainly can! No 'Good morning! Happy Birthday!' kiss for you, mister!"
The pout returned to his face and damn, you're really weak for that pout. You sighed exasperatedly and threw your arms around his neck. "Good morning! Happy Birthday!" you announced with feigned emotion before pecking him on the lips and making an attempt to return your attention to breakfast. San had other ideas. He let out a sort of growl before effortlessly tossing you over his shoulder and strutting back towards your bedroom. "Wait!" you shouted weakly on account of San's shoulder uncomfortably pressed against your diaphragm, "Breakfast is gonna burn!" He paused in his stride, seemingly to try to decide on what to do, before turning and rushing to the stove to switch it off and then made a beeline for the mess of pillows and blankets he had left only moments before.
That afternoon, San was sprawled out on the sofa, a dreadfully bored look etched into his features as he flipped through the channels. Finding nothing to watch, he switched off the TV and turned to stare at the ceiling. The oscillating fan sat on the small end table next to the couch ruffled his hair and thoughtfully provided an awful high-pitched squealing sound as background noise for the otherwise quiet living room. Nervously staring at the clock on your phone while draped over a chair opposite the couch, your mind was racing to come up with an excuse for leaving the house a few minutes later. You had an appointment to keep aka "The Plan". Making a disgruntled noise, you pushed yourself out of your seat and made a command decision on what to say, "Uhh, I'm gonna go to the store to pick up some stuff for umm, for later." Failing miserably at sounding natural, you gestured toward the door and faced it.
"Ooh!" San shouted and you heard rustling like he was getting off the couch. "Let me come! I'm so bored."
You couldn't help the mischief that made itself evident over your features as you turned back around. "But coming along will spoil the surprise, don't you think?" Pleading puppy dog eyes and his cutest pout decorated San's face in response. "Nuh uh, not even that will work on me today!"
Sam's expression morphed into a combination of astonishment and amazement as he plopped back down onto the sofa, "Shit, this is serious if not even the pout can sway you!"
You nodded ruefully, "It's a special day."
Ping! A message came through on your group chat with the boys, made specifically for this plan and thus excluding San, and when you went to read it, you heard San mumble under his breath but couldn't quite make out what he said.
Joong-bug: outside with Woo! let's goooooo!!
Several more text alerts sounded off and San eyed you suspiciously.
Woo 🐻: C'MON I'M SO EXCITED!!!!!!!! Joong-bug: aaaaaand this is why he's forbidden contact with 'The Target' until 'The Plan' is complete… You: Be down in a minute! Joong-bug: hurry up!! he won't stop whining and pouting 😣 Mingo Mango: getin' ready 2 bust the door down now 😈 You: Jongho, I'm trusting you to keep them from breaking things Hulk 🍎: You have my word 👍 Yeo-Yeo: Pfffft like that means anything 😒 Y'know: hey, i asked you to chop vegetables!! why are you on your phone?? 😡 Yeo-Yeo: You're on yours! Mars: ……….help
Suddenly, you could hear two rather loud voices outside, gradually getting louder as they made their way to your front door. "Ah, you're in luck, sweetpea! Here comes your entertainment now!" Without giving Mingi the opportunity to "bust the door down", you quickly threw it open and in he stumbled with Jongho trailing more gracefully behind him, chuckling. San's face lit up in excitement and he bounced gleefully over to his friends. Mingi shouted something about playing ball and San whooped in agreement, causing you to chuckle fondly as you snuck out the door they had just come through since your boyfriend was already well and truly distracted.
Hongjoong and Wooyoung quickly came into view as you made your way down the last of the stairs, the younger hopping around like an over-excited bunny when he spotted you. He called your name loudly and ran to squeeze you and consequently hang off of you, grin bright and eyes sparkling with enthusiasm. "Hi there, bear," you giggled and squeezed him back before turning to Hongjoong. "You said he was whiny but you didn't mention he was extra clingy, too." No hint of annoyance in your voice, Wooyoung nuzzled into your shoulder and sighed happily.
Hongjoong shrugged, smiling affectionately at the younger, "I thought it was to be expected."
"It is a little hot for cuddles though, Woo," you told Wooyoung honestly and he nodded in agreement, letting go and scurried towards the parked car, screeching about being late. Hongjoong shook his head as he watched Wooyoung abruptly fling the door open and sit in the passenger seat, eagerly bouncing in place and urging the two of you to hurry up. "Everything all set?" you asked the older as you walked side by side to the car.
Rascality twinkled in Hongjoong's eyes, "Yep! All the stuff is either in the back seat or the trunk, ready to go!" You smiled and scrunched your nose at him before you both joined Wooyoung in the car and headed off to your destination.
A couple hours later, the three of you returned to your house, San's birthday gift sat on the back seat next to you. Wooyoung was animatedly squirming in his seat, teeth clenched together in a wide grin in an effort to suppress his squeals of joy. "Good grief, Woo! It's gonna be somewhat of a let down if you're more excited about this than San ends up being," you teased him fondly, reaching for your phone to get updates from the group chat.
You: We're back!! 🤭 Yeo-Yeo: Lemme guess, Woo's about to piss himself from excitement You: 😂 correct. Update on 'the Target'? Hulk 🍎: 'The Target' is about to get in the shower, Mingi and I will head down now Y'know: you can't just leave him!! you gotta at least give an excuse!! Hulk 🍎: You can't see me but I'm rolling my eyes right now. Mingi told him we're going home to shower, which isn't an excuse, it's the truth. We'll just jump in with everyone later 👌 Y'know: you didn't give anything away did you??!! Hulk 🍎: 😒 yes. We told him every detail. Of course we didn't! Mingo Mango: all good! we made it seem like we were leaving 4 the night! told him happy bday and everything 😉 Y'know: … :/ … You: … I'm slightly concerned but alright. How's 'The Plan'? Yeo-Yeo: Yunho is worried out of his mind now but we're cool, just waiting on the cue Mingo Mango: you mean the Q 😉👍 Hulk 🍎: He tripped down a few stairs while he was typing that ^ Yeo-Yeo: 🖕 (deserved) You: Hwa? Still have your sanity? Mars: *sigh* … barely You: You replied so I'm courageously going to take that as a positive. You guys can head over as soon as Jongho and Mingi are ready. I'll text when it's good to come up. Yeo-Yeo: OK Y'know: k Mars: yes
Laughing at their insanity and tucking your phone away, you glanced up to find Mingi and Jongho walking towards the car so you got out and attempted to get a little more information. "You guys have fun?" you asked, smiling warmly.
The boys beamed and nodded. "Lots!" Mingi stated, bouncing on his toes energetically.
"San seemed really happy so that felt," Jongho paused and rubbed at the back of his neck, "Nice." You felt your heart squeeze a little, knowing just how much San loved and valued the boys no matter what. "And we didn't break anything, just like I promised!" Jongho added proudly, puffing out his chest a little.
You ruffled his hair fondly before yanking your hand away in disgust, "Ick! So sweaty! Go shower! I'll see you two in a bit." The youngest laughed brightly and gave you a wave before heading off with Mingi offering a salute and stumbling after him. Making your way around the car, you opened the car door and gathered the gift into your arms. "I owe you two," you smiled and Hongjoong shook his head and chuckled. "Thank you!" Wooyoung giggled as you resituated the present in your grasp. "Don't forget the rest of the stuff when you come up later, please!" Hongjoong gave you a thumbs up and you shut the door with your hip before making your way up to give your boyfriend his surprise.
Unlocking the door and being as quiet as possible entering the house in an effort to sneak up on San was quite difficult but you managed. Luckily, he had his back to you, actually sitting normally in a chair for once and humming softly to himself. Stifling a giggle with your hand, you brought everything inside and shut the door, impressed with yourself at how quiet you were and hoped the gift would be just as silent. Slipping your shoes off to avoid more noise, you took one gift in each hand and tiptoed toward San.
You instinctively held your breath as you neared your boyfriend and tried not to squeal or giggle. In that moment, you definitely felt Wooyoung's enthusiasm. Right hand gently setting one gift on the top of San's head and left hand reaching around the phone in his hands to place the other present in his lap, you heard him gasp in shock. "Happy Birthday, sugarplum!"
The small kitten on San's head let out a tiny squeak of a meow and the puppy in his lap timidly licked at his arm. San tried to say something but all that came out was broken words and stutters. He reached up to pluck the kitten from his head and you helped untangle a strand of his hair from the kitten's tiny claws before he set it next to the puppy on his lap and turned part way around to look up at you. Tears were already falling, the tracks they left glinted in the sunlight that came in through the living room window and his bottom lip wobbled slightly, "Y-you. B-but. What?"
You slowly walked around the chair and crouched down in front of San, beaming and a little teary-eyed yourself at his reaction. "What do you think, Sannie? Does this make up for the difference in these past few days?" He choked out a sob and nodded fervently, lip still trembling as he stared down at the animals clumsily perched on his thighs.
San sniffled and lifted the puppy up to eye-level. It leaned closer to him and licked at the salty streaks on his cheeks. San laughed wetly and set the puppy back down before lifting the kitten up the same way and nuzzling his nose into its soft fur. After admiring them for a few minutes and calming himself down, San glanced at you, "This is what you were preoccupied with?"
You nodded and hummed faintly, "But not just this!"
Your boyfriend furrowed his brow and groaned a little, "There's more? I don't know if I can handle any more! I feel like I've had at least a dozen heart attacks in the last 5 minutes already!" You chuckled adoringly as San pouted at his puppy and kitten, talking to them about how his heart wasn't meant for stuff like that. While he was distracted, you shot a text to the group chat.
You: 'The Plan: Part 1' = ✅COMPLETE! Commence 'The Plan: Part 2'! Woo 🐻: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Yeo-Yeo: 😒 Hulk 🍎: That emoji may imply that Yeosang is rolling his eyes but he's actually staring at Wooyoung with the most fond, loving look in his eyes Mingo Mango: heh Yeo just 🤜 Jongho in the 💪
You rolled your eyes and chuckled, waiting for the boys to come up and actually "bust down the door". Moments later, a cacophony of voices burst through the quiet room as the guys threw the door open.
"Happy Birthday! We brought food!" Yunho shouted as he muscled multiple grocery bags into your kitchen, followed by Yeosang and Seonghwa who were also carrying armloads.
At the same time, Wooyoung screamed, "Babies!" and headed straight for San and the puppy and kitten. The two boys giggled together and fawned over the animals while some of the boys loudly scuttled around the kitchen and the others went to greet the birthday boy and the new additions. You headed into the kitchen to see if you could help with anything.
Seonghwa looked less frazzled than you expected and his kind eyes lit up when they met yours. "Anything for me to do?" you asked him, going over to wash your hands in the kitchen sink.
He gave you a characteristic wonky smile as he bumped your hip with his, "I think you've had quite the day as it is!"
"Me? What about you? You sure have lots of beautiful hair despite dealing with so many children all the time!"
Seonghwa's smile was one of pure reverence, "I wouldn't have it any other way."
You tugged him into a tight hug. "I know," you whispered, "Thank you." Before he could say anything, you pulled away to look him in the eye, "And before you say 'You don't have to thank me' or whatever, thank you. I mean it and you have to accept it or I'll pout." He laughed heartily and nodded, eyes sparkling with joy as he went back to getting food put on the table.
You went around hugging and thanking the rest of the boys for all their contributions to San's special day and then gathered everyone up to sit at the table for dinner. The kitten and puppy played together peacefully and everyone glanced over at them once in awhile to coo at their cuteness.
Chatter was loud and warm, just the way it should be. San absolutely glowed with happiness and at one point when all the boys were laughing and carrying on together, he leaned over to you to whisper in your ear. "Have I ever told you how much I love you?"
"Only every day," you beamed, booping his nose gently.
He giggled and leaned even closer to press a sweet kiss to your lips, "Thank you," another kiss, "Times a million," another, "for making me," yet another peck, "so, so happy," and another, "I love you," and one more kiss. You grabbed his face so he couldn't pull away from the last one but it was a little difficult to kiss when you both were smiling so wide.
A chorus of "Ew!" and "Gross!" and "NOT AT THE DINNER TABLE!" echoed behind you so you reluctantly pulled away, giggling all the while.
"OK, OK!" you held your hands up in defeat before resituating. "Alright, on the count of three," San looked confused all over again but you sent him a reassuring wink. "One!
"Two!
"Three!"
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAN!"
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How about an AU where all the gym leaders +Hop, Marnie, Rose and Oleana 's personalities are completely reversed, like for example Milo turns into a savage and Bea turns into a human slaking.
That’s interesting. The Gym Challenge would probably be kind of unpleasant since the gym leaders would go from being kind of encouraging to rude and dismissive. This turned into a backwards bizarre world where everyone’s angry and evil. Also, I added Bede, even though you didn’t ask. I made myself sad with the misery that’s around this world.
Milo would be pretty lazy and not care about his farm at all. He’d be mean and selfish as well. Probably a healthy dose of hatred for pokemon as well. There’s a chance he’s only a gym leader for money or fame. He’s not humble at all, either.
Nessa’s confidence vanishes completely. She often wears clothes too large for her to cover her body up. She’s quiet and softspoken, and she’ll avoid people as much as possible. She’s probably only a gym leader because she has to be. She doesn’t like attention at all.
Kabu is ignorant and irresponsible. He’s reckless and careless. He disregards the challengers, and rarely takes them seriously. He doesn’t take his gym very seriously, and whatever happens, happens. He doesn’t care about the fate of his gym, and literally anyone who asks can be a gym trainer. He’s got no standards.
Bea is lazy and doesn’t care about her training. She became a gym leader because she was a prodigy from the start, and now she just thinks she’s the greatest. She disregards all of her responsibilities, and mostly just sits around. She watches tv and eats snacks all day, and she doesn’t care at all to meet new people. She’ll tell her fans to leave her alone pretty often.
Allister is a brat, plain and simple. He’ll say what he wants, when he wants, and he gets everything he wants no matter what. As soon as he hears the word “no” he throws a tantrum, because he’s a gym leader, so he should get everything. He disregards everyone who wants to meet them, and his advice to everyone is “don’t try, I’m a prodigy, and you can’t keep up with me.”
Opal doesn’t care about her gym. She handed it off years ago to some kid that showed “promise.” She doesn’t care about anything anymore. She stays in her house or goes to plays. She’s just a wicked old lady who uses her age to act entitled. She’s also ignorant about most things and whenever she talks the majority of it is just shit she made up to sound smart.
Gordie has no care at all about how people see him, and he doesn’t care about his fans either. He avoids them at any cost because his time and training are more important. He wants to be better than his mother, and he might have chosen to be a rock type trainer because he hates Melony. Their fight is over who gets to have control over the gym.
Melony is not a good mother. She is self absorbed and does things selfishly. She likes the fame and fortune of being a gym leader. She’s mad at Gordie, borderline hates him for betraying her and being a rock type trainer. And now he’s trying to steal the gym from her? The way she sees it, Gordie’s not her son anymore.
Piers is two sided, normally, so he’s be very flat and lack any sort of personality if it was swapped. He pretends to have quirks and personalities so people will like him and give him what he wants, but at home, he lacks any sort of interests. He’s pretty bland, and he’s exactly what he looks like, prickly and aggressive. He doesn’t get close to anyone, not even Marnie. He keeps to himself and doesn’t care about anyone else. His hobbies are absolutely zero, he’s just kind of existing. No feelings, heart empty. He also lacks any standards and will do whatever it takes to win a pokemon battle, including dynamax if he has the chance. Spikemuth fell to pieces long before Piers was gym leader, so he gave up on saving it. He’s only a gym leader because it’s he best source of income in the dump that Spikemuth became. It’s pretty much a landfill that poor people live in.
Raihan is shy and hides away from people. He runs away from fans when they recognize him, and he hardly touches social media because he’s scared. He doesn’t do any reading in his isolation, either, he just watches the pokemon version of youtube all day and trains somewhere where people can’t bother him. He hates being around the other gym leaders because he doesn’t care for them at all. He just wants his paycheck and his time alone at home.
Leon is boastful and has a serious superiority complex. He thinks he’s above the rest of Galar, including what in canon he would consider friends and family. He doesn’t associate with any “peasants” and he’s not afraid to tell off Rose or any associates. He thinks he’s right all the time and the world owes him their lives since he’s so skilled. He doesn’t bother with Hop, either, since he’s insulted that Hop thinks he can beat him.
Hop is angry and cold to everyone. It probably has something to do with his brother’s behavior, but he leaves no room for fun and games and works himself half to death. His only goal, really, is to rise to the top and crush everyone beneath him. Nobody is worth his time, and he has no interest in his growing fan base. He’ll get angry and ruse with anyone that interrupts him while he’s working, which he always is.
Marnie in canon hides a kind and loving personality behind a cold and serious exterior. So she’s now a cruel and vicious girl who hides her darker side behind a sweet facade. She can be manipulative and cunning, and will do anything to get what she wants. She learned it from watching Piers, from afar, since they’re not close at all. She wants to be powerful so she can take over Spikemuth Gym. She wants to snatch it from Piers and show him up so everyone can see how great she is. Of course, being the next champion would be even better. She wants to leave her shithole of a home in Spikemuth far behind if she can.
Bede is one of the only kind people in this backwards world. He’s just trying to be a good trainer, and thinks that his best chance is to be good and kind. He’s kind, but he’s not stupid, and no one can make him do anything he doesn’t want to. He’s got strong morals and will stick to them no matter what. He never gets to take over Ballonlea Gym because Opal handed it off a long time ago, so he’s trying to just become a gym leader by being strong and hard working.
Rose is the classic fat cat corporate. It’s all about money for him. He’ll do whatever he can to spend as little money as possible and gain as much as possible. He doesn’t care about quality or the people. He uses Leon for his own selfish gain, and Leon goes with it because he also benefits. Rose doesn’t care about Galar, he’s ruined the environment and the economy. Spikemuth is in even worse condition than in canon because it doesn’t profit. It’s basically a bunch of shacks in a pile of rubble.
Oleana worries about what Rose is doing. She can see people struggling. She sees the misery around Galar because all the gym leaders, the champion, and the chairman are awful. Everyone’s unhappy and that makes her sad. She’s kind to as many people as she can be, but people usually use it to walk all over her and exploit her kindness. She just wants to fix the damage that Rose and his lackeys have caused. And yes, the gym leaders and Leon are his lackeys. They’ll do whatever he says to get themselves ahead.
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