#something about those vibes that really chill 'i will give you exactly one chance to fix this :)' vibe. just. *shudders*

[hyunfilms]

blue side of the sky (lmh) | 12.5 [cloudy days] chan

♡ spotify playlist | series masterlist

—12.5 [CLOUDY DAYS] chan's thoughts

—WORD COUNT: 0.9k

—ON ROTATION: w.a.y.s - jhené aiko

Chan remembers the first time he met you. He was playing around with some beats on his mini turntable, while Seungmin was organizing his side of the room. There was a bathroom that connected their room to Minho and Jisung's room, and they always left those doors open when it wasn't in use— just to help both rooms get acquainted over time. He could hear your voice echoing through the bathroom, loud laughters erupting from you, Jisung and Minho. Chan doesn't like to be in people's business, so he continued to play around with his beats. It wasn't until you popped into the room a few minutes later, ripping Chan's attention away from his laptop.

And he remembers that twinkle in your eyes just like yesterday.

☁︎ FLASHBACK

"Y/N! Come back and stop bothering them!" Jisung harshly says from their room.

"Chill out, I'm just gonna say hi to your suitemates and come back." You bite back.

"Babe. They might be busy." Minho adds, making you sigh and roll your eyes as you continue your walk through the bathroom and into Chan and Seungmin's room. Chan's eyes immediately land on you, while Seungmin adjusts his shirt after reorganizing his shelves.

"Hi! I'm Y/N. Jisung's bestfriend, Minho's girlfriend." You smile brightly, eyes holding the galaxy as you look at them with warmth. "I thought I'd introduce myself. Hope I'm not a bother."

"No, not at all." You giggle and turn back to Jisung and Minho with a quick 'see.' "Chan." Chan reaches out to shake your hand.

"Seungmin!" Seungmin waves. "Heard lots about you already."

"Good things, I hope."

"Do you live on this floor, too?" Chan asks.

"No." You chuckle. "Two floors up." 

"Nice."

"Well, I'll probably be in their room a lot. Hope you don't mind me popping in from time to time." Chan laughs and shakes his head.

"No, not at all."

"I heard you working on some beats though, maybe you can show me some next time?"

"R-really?" Chan stutters a bit, surprised at your interest in what he does.

"Yeah, of course! I always thought it was pretty cool."

"I can show you a bit of what I'm working on now, if you aren't busy."

"Not at all! I'd love to hear it." You smile and lean onto Chan's bed, listening to him explain what his thought process has been.

☁︎ END

Ever since then, you've always graced him and Seungmin with your presence— bringing them food to eat, or simply greeting them with enthusiasm and positivity. It's one of the things he really liked about you. It was easy to click with you and get along with you. Whenever he was hanging out with you and Minho, he never felt like a third-wheel; which, surprisingly, is something that bothers Chan because he just wants to be able to hang out with his friends without feeling like he needs to excuse himself. You were always down to do anything and everything, always accompanying him on random fast food runs, grocery runs, always sending him good vibes before important milestones.

You always had that huge, beautiful twinkle in your eyes.

He does believe in people making mistakes. After all, everyone is human and deserves a chance to do learn and do better. But, he would be lying if he said he wasn't disappointed in Minho. Of course he was. He was disappointed in Minho for letting Kat get in the way. He doesn't know every single detail about your relationship, but he was sure there were other ways to fix things instead of giving up and running to another person for.. what, exactly? Consoling? Validation? Especially while you were in the hospital— Chan will never understand it, but who was he to dictate how Minho lived his life? He could hate his friend for it, but he could also continue to hope and push for him to do better.

He is sad for the way things turned out. 

Everything is sad, unfair; sadly unfair.

Even then, you never really lost the twinkle in your eyes. Even when Minho hurt you, even when you've questioned your worth and where you've gone wrong. You never lost the twinkle in your eyes, and Chan is thankful for having you; a constant that has adapted in ever-changing conditions.

Chan is still sad for the way things are turning out.

He wishes he could do more to be there for you, to help you, to bring back that twinkle in your eyes. The twinkle in your eyes isn't necessarily gone, no— moreso just a little lost, a little misguided. And there isn't anything wrong with that. He just hopes it'll fully come back. He hopes you'll still have the same twinkle in your eyes when the boys finally tell you what has happened, he hopes you'll still have the same twinkle in your eyes when you find out the hurt you've been through, the mistakes that have led to everything now.

He doesn't really know where to place himself. Every day, he feels lost. Torn. Not sure which way to turn when it comes to you, to Jisung and to Minho. He keeps quiet and tries to distance himself enough because he feels lost. Though, he understands Jisung's need to keep this tucked away until you're ready. He understands the feelings that are resurfacing for Minho. He understands why he, himself, is going along with this. He is doing this because he hopes you find that twinkle in your eyes again. 

He hopes you will find it in yourself to pull through and find the strength to continue on when the truth comes out. He hopes you will find it in yourself to forgive everyone for trying to help you— help you find that same twinkle in your eyes before the accident, before all the pain, before all the hurt.

Everything is just.. unfair. Sadly unfair.

But, he hopes you find the twinkle in your eyes again.

♡ taglist: @ppiri-bahng @jihanlovic @meloncremesoda @sweetlikecherry @asjkdk @hoes4lino @skzddicted @skzho @edgaralienpoe @harui-zen @bestleeknowstan @havenwithleeknow @septicrebel @heesdazed @borahae-reads @yoontaethings @pearbunny @bintific @lukeys-giggle @ajxreads @everglowdaisies @allaboutsan @endzii23 @leeknowsramen @heres-your-ramen2000 @morningstardada @mal-lunar-28 @downbadreading @lilysophie @feelikecinderella @urmomma0324 @ddazed-lhs @djeniryuu @melanctton @i8rsie @maru-matt @sleepyleeji @taerifin @nattisbored @jisunglyricist @m111nho @drhsthl @nixtape-foryou @arminseas @guiltycoco @syuuji @sulkygyu @cadihyo @reianagarcia @leeknowyah @smndjdufuehr @dprkbyn @xxibreinaxx @mxnsxngie @reiheis

#lee know series #lee know fanfic #lee know fanfiction #kpop fanfiction #stray kids x reader #stray kids fanfiction #stray kids series #hyunfilms: blue side of the sky

[schlagerkopf]

Ableben

On paper, I’m supposed to despise Naftaly Bennett, very much so. But I don’t. I think he’s a solid dude. His external look gives me some kind of chill vibe. He’s got that Cheshire cat look. He’s the type of person I want to dance with, soaked in sweat, in a wedding or a big event.

Maybe it’s not Bennett I should despise, but his manager – the genius who came up with the elections slogan “Something new is happening”. This insanely transmittable slogan that showed on buses and other random places I’ve been and went these last few months has kept reminding me that terrible moment in which I was given the bad news that “something new is happening”.

It happened today exactly one year ago. Friday night, 15th of June 2012. I was 26, two months and four days. Lying on my bed, my old N95 phone from 2007 was stuck to my left ear. My airconditioner was making noises of working, hardly making anything cool – I wasn’t cool in any way, not the situation, not me. On the Friday night news in the living room, my parents were watching the panelists laughing about something, while I was slowly dying in my sinking bed. The room was lit only by the hour on the digital counter on the TV cable transmitter – eternalizing the hour in which love died. I won’t be 100% true if I will argue it is exactly what she said – “something new is happening”. Maybe it was “something is beginning”. Her stream of words continued without pause, her voice sounding as if she is a little unsure, trying not to hurt – but knowing how much it hurts, how much pain it brings about.

“He’s not sleazy, he’s really sweet”.

And then started my elegant pleas for another chance:

“I love you”

“Give love another chance”

“Please”

And the likes.

That also had a pretty built-in response, that was pretty much based around “too little, too late”.

“It’s over Amir, you do not hear how many ‘No’s’ I’m giving you in this conversation”.

Then: “Good luck in the exams”.

That’s it. Alles ist vorbei. I’m left alone, shocked, crying like a baby with my old ass phone, while everyone’s already got smartphone, and she’s probably going to kiss him and do other deeds that I will never ever do again with her in this dimension.

She tapped that long red thingy on iPhones to end the convo. For me it was a simple “END” button. And when they were hit, that’s it, it was over. One year and ten months. 18 months overall. 547 days. And that’s it. A little button is pressed, a little dance of a finger, and we turn from actuality to history. A notable part of two people’s lives has ended. One, as it seems, only wants to forget it. The other, good god, a 26 year old and 4 months man, crying like a baby.

  Yeshayahu Leibowitz was an Israeli public intellectual who said interesting things. On one show in 1994 he was asked if he missed old Israeli politicians, from the age of those who built up and founded Israel. He answered with his special accent that hints he was not born in Israel himself, that he does not understand the question.

“I do not understand the question. What does it mean to miss a person?”

The person who asked the question tried to sharpen, resulting in Leibowitz simply saying:

“All of these – they were right for their hour. And we are dealing in this hour”.

I watched this some sad evening and it lifted me up immensely. Here’s a role model. What is it to miss someone, at all? What good does it do? It helps nothing, it’s not constructive. What was once, was. What matters is now.

If Leibowitz indeed didn’t miss anyone, he was a superhero of sorts, and the strongest one. Superman can fly, yeah, sure, but doesn’t he miss someone? And Spiderman? Doesn’t Batman miss his parents?

Missing is my kryptonite. It makes me weak. Especially when I am in my bed, full of memories and so empty, and especially if it happens in a late-night hour.

Missing is a sort of alchemy. It’s not something real, existing, it’s not something you can touch or smell. Mine is the worst kind of longing. It’s for something that was but isn’t. I believe the Portuguese call it “Saudade”. You can miss your friend but you know you’ll see them next week. And you can miss your lover, knowing you’ll never see them again.

  It’s hard to write about breakups. I wrote her a letter two weeks after the breakup. It was six pages and I’ve included some chocolate and a flower. It didn’t help. Because writing about breakups is futile, in a sense.

It’s hard to write about breakups because seemingly there isn’t much to say. I mean, yeah, ok, there is, but what will I say? It’s a paradox seeing that I’m in the midst of writing a long piece about breakups. It also doesn’t go with the fact that if it weren’t for breakups, most music we would be listening to nowadays would be instrumental. So, let’s agree that there’s a lot to say about breakups but at the same time there isn’t – life is complicated like that. I can say that I am hurting so much but how will I transmit this pain to you, the reader? The longing, the pain, the regret, the heaviness on the chest at 2am, when you wake up from a dream where she still loves you, and you realize reality is here and she doesn’t anymore. She used to, a lot, but no anymore. No more “good morning” text messages.

And what can you say anyway? “Time heals”. “Many fish in the sea”. I spent all of summer 2012 depressed in my room, what a waste. Sleeping on the pillow she bought me for my 25th birthday. A 90s boombox she once found and gifted me on a random morning where we said goodbye with a kiss, five months before she dropped the bomb on me – if to quote the Gap Band.

On the morning of June 5th 2012, after she spent the night over at my place, we just kissed and she got into her car and left to work. It was just another goodbye. How was I to know it was the last one ever? That it’s the last time I ever see her? The last time I see her in a world where she loves me? In a world, in a galaxy, where she has love for me in her loving heart? I thought about this moment for so long, about our last kiss – not knowing it is our last kiss. Maybe she knew already? Just a kiss and she left. I was clueless. Like I always am.

  In university, I studied about Martin Heidegger the philosopher. The professor talked about a word in German named “Ableben”. Like many others in Deutsch, it has many meanings, one of them is “Came to an end.

I see the word as the following: “An idea that came to an end. An idea that died. The idea that was between her and me, love, has come to an end. Suddenly, one side decided it is over, and the other side must deal with that.

And that’s something I learnt about breakups in the sad year that I had since she said the words that ended up meaning “it’s over”. Breakups are TOTAL. That is why they are so hard to accept, why it’s so hard to let go. If you don’t accept the breakup you’re not in tune with reality. But reality doesn’t ask you. It’s a madness, like The Stranglers called it in their song “La Folie”. It’s crazy to think and cry about someone all the time, dedicating all that brain power to someone who, maybe on a good day, dedicates you two neurons. Why don’t you do something better with your time? It’s like dancing on a grave.

And here is the realness of “Ableben”. It’s not like somebody died. It’s an idea that died. It’s so abstract. No more good morning and night texts. No more emails that come in the right time in the middle of the day, filling you with love and hope. No more I love you’s, no more kisses and hugs. This all came to its bitter sad end at a certain moment.

I thought a lot about the moment in which love dies. I understand it’s a long process, stopping to love someone who you love dearly. You don’t stop loving in one second. But it feels like it’s some epiphany, some inner switch that you go to sleep loving Amir and you wake up not loving Amir anymore. And it’s so hard for me to fathom how you can stop loving someone you’ve shared so much with, that you were such close friends and lovers.

And it’s crazier that I lover her still, as I write these lines. Of course, not as strongly as I loved her last year, but I still love her. I’ll always love her, even if I don’t know who she is right now, she’s changed. I can feel closer to the woman in the grocery shop than her. And even though I am mad at her and understand that breakups exist and it’s part of life. I still can’t understand how you do that to someone who you call a friend. I stopped caring about the singing of the birds in the morning, and that’s the greatest loss.

And the memories, my my, the memories. They keep playing. It’s like self-torture. Some streets I won’t dare walk through in Tel-Aviv. The bench from August 2010 here we kissed on our first date. When something new was happening and nothing was ending. I still miss her and who she is and what we were. Our long hugs every time we met. And I regret my actions that led her to another’s arms. And still I bite my lips whenever I pass by that garden where we shared our first kiss and look at the empty bench and grass and try to understand that feeling that is so amorphic, knowing that something is dead and that something else, new, has begun, and that new thing is the most beautiful thing in the world but you’re not part of it, you’re dead in the water; for me the new thing died, and I continue staring at the “Game Over” screen.

#writing #love #heartbreak #sadness #romantic

[amaya-writes]

Dating A Yoshida: My Little Monster x Reader

Day Three of The Underrated And The Unwritten

Notes: I swear I'm going to read the manga one day lol but for now, this is solely based on the anime

Warnings:

Characters involved: Haru Yoshida, Yuzan Yoshida, Misawa Mitsuyoshi

Gender-neutral reader

Haru Yoshida

Haru can be a pretty fun person to date, mainly because he's always planning new things and finding ways to hang out with you.

It's not that he's trying to be overwhelming or constantly around you, but just that Haru is the type of person who is always doing something in life, whether it be adopting new pets or going on fun little missions with his friends.

He just wants you to be in on it, wants you to never feel like you're missing out.

Haru is the type of person who doesn't let insecurities hold him back, which is why he isn't really the shy type. It's not like he actively does PDA or anything but just that he's comfortable with being affectionate with you.

For example, he doesn't really get that kissing in public is something that people would normally be flustered by because he isn't the type to mind it.

If you are the type of person who doesn't like PDA he'll definitely steer away from that, but you should probably get used to him always holding your hand and being constantly surprised with back hugs.

He's the type to take you on a date at 5am to see the sunrise or get ice cream in the middle of the night because he read somewhere that it's romantic.

Haru would also find an abandoned animal and name it after you, even talking about how it's your child.

Yuzan Yoshida

Yuzan is the type of partner who loves being a nuisance.

Unlike Haru, he does it on purpose. Choosing to constantly embarrass you and annoy the heck out of you every chance he gets.

Whether this be by sudden PDA or being loud and dragging you all around the place buying one sweet after the other.

Yuzan can either be serious and sort of mean or playful and childlike, there isn't really an in between. While he reserves the latter for you, there are also moments where he gets hotheaded like his brother.

But unlike Haru his relationships have a sense of balance.

He likes planning out his dates and having a schedule, taking you to a ton of different places to try out sweets and just chill together.

It's not like he's against spontaneous dates but Yuzan does love knowing what the two of you are going to do.

Plus, his dates are wild enough as it is. He can make things like shopping or walks in the park go unexpectedly because of his troublemaker ways.

Yuzan also loves teasing you by making you flustered in public, which is why your dates can often end with him laughing his head off while you rethink why exactly you fell for this endearing idiot.

Misawa Mitsuyoshi

Mitsuyoshi can be quite the gentleman when it comes to relationships.

You wouldn't really associate that with someone with his vibe, but once you get to know him a bit you can easily tell that he's just a sweetheart who cares deeply for those close to him.

He probably can't make as much time for you as the others, and often finds himself opting for dates at home with you in his arms and a movie on, but Misuyoshi tries his best to always be there for you.

Is your number one supporter! Seriously, he loves hearing you talk about your classes, work, any projects you're doing, and will just silently smoke a cigarette and watch with a small smile as you ramble on.

Loves spending time with you at the arcade! He even taught you how to bat properly and was amused to see you slowly start using batting as a way to relieve stress.

He loves just chilling with you after a long day and often finds that it's easier to fall asleep on the couch with you on his lap and a cigarette between his lips.

Mitsuyoshi likes unwinding with you after a long day, he also likes texting you between work or giving you updates about anything eventful.

Has probably introduced you to the other Yoshidas and even talks to you about drama within their family.

#haru x you #haru x reader #haru yoshida #yuzan yoshida #yuzan x you #yuzan x reader #mitsuyoshi misawa #mitsuyoshi x you #mitsuyoshi x reader #my little monster x you #my little monster x reader #my little monster drabbles #haru headcanons #yuzan hcs #mitsuyoshi hcs

[satansaidmyturnintheh3llscape]

Everything Right/Wrong with Ninjago “Rise of the Serpentine” E9: The Royal Blacksmiths

Can’t wait to get flooded with hate comments from certain platforms for some of the things I say in this. This episode is gay as hell (and so am I); change my mind. Anyways, disclaimers: Show owned by LEGO. This is not a professional review/critique - it’s mainly intended for comedy.

Reblog, comment, like and/or follow for more!

- Theme ✅

- Why do the spikes stop before hitting the ground? Seems counter-productive ❌

- Yeah, no. There is no way Lloyd survives all of this. The only possible explanation would be - Idk - the world keeping him alive because he needs to fulfill some divine destiny or something, but it’s not like THAT would ever happen… ❌

- Also how does Lloyd get back to the Serpentine after this? His only path is blocked off by rocks ❌

- “His name was something like Dutch… no Clutch! Clutch Powers!” I understood that reference ✅

- Idk why but I hate the way that phone looks❌

- “There’s no such thing in Ninjago…” Wu says, as if Garmadon’s never lived in Ninjago?? ❌

- Wu has a katana strapped to his back yet still chooses to fight with whatever this thing is ^ ❌

- “What? You too good for the doorbell?… Use the bell, son!” I can’t f*cking breathe ✅

- Jay simply vibing to the music ✅

- “Is this why you came?” No, they already said they were here for the research paper ❌

- The way Jay got so excited to sing💀 ✅

- Also Kai and Zane just joining by instinct ✅

- “If my ears weren’t attached to my head they’d be running away!” Jeez dude chill

- “Kai: Love the energy, hate the hair.” This is exactly what I imagine runs through the mind of your average Kai stan

- “He’s worse than Sensei Wu!” At least he gives actual advice and pointers and is direct about them. That’s more than I remember Wu doing. ❌

- “Many professionals have dare try, but it’s never been successfully completed.” Why would someone create a dance move that even they couldn’t pull off??? ❌

- “It’s cuz Twinkle Toes here couldn’t deliver the goods,” Jay is a d!ck ❌

- Also, Jay VA appreciation ✅

- “I’m starting to think we can win this thing…” You’re a group of 4 teens who have a day to train and you’re going against teams of professionals that have been practicing for probably months now. In what world do you stand a chance? ❌

- Wait, why are they practicing outside now? ❌

- “Though we live in two different worlds, I still see good in your heart brother.” I love that Wu says this mere seconds before getting punted off a cliff ✅

- Also, why did Garmadon push him? Dramatic effect? I mean it’s not out of character but it still seems excessive. ❌

- ^Why does this one building look like a LEGO figure stuck upside down? ❌

- How inconvenient of Cole to loudly explain their entire plan in this room filled with people ❌

- Also, how is Lou the only one to hear this? ❌

- Trans masc Cole is real ✅

- “I’m not going to wait around to watch you make a mockery of our family’s legacy!” Imagine telling your dad that you’re a firefighter or something and he tells you you’re a disappointment because he wanted you to become a freelance artist ❌

- ^ You know those images that “cure depression?” Well, this is the opposite ❌

- “Treble Makers?” Look, I know this probably wasn’t a Pitch Perfect reference… but I’m still gonna treat it like it is ✅

- Aaaaaaaannnnddddd v*re is canon ❌

- “I have butterflies in my stomach!” “Oh, that’s just nerves!” “No. I really do have butterflies…” “… Oookay, glad he got that out of his system.” I’m sorry but I can’t even sin this I legit can’t watch this scene without laughing ✅

- I know some people think it’s cringey but this performance scene gives me so much dopamine I can’t not win it ✅

- ^ this image ✅

- Zane moon walking ✅

- “Rawr…” Well this definitely made some fans choke on their drinks ✅

- Look, there’s nothing gay about hugging your homies after winning a talent show… BUT there IS something gay about hugging your homie while affectionately nuzzling your face into their side. Anyways, make Lava canon 2022 ✅

- Also, Jay winks at Cole? Gasp! Is Jay a lava shipper? ✅

- How convenient of Pythor to write the 0 so off-center that it makes it very easy for someone to write a 1 directly in front of it ❌

- How long was this dude’s arm?!?!?! ❌

- True potential scene ✅

- It’s cool that they won the competition and all, but I still think it would’ve been funnier and more realistic if the ninja lost completely and just stole it anyway. ❌

Sentence: *clears throat* Gayyyyyyyyyyyyyy-

#ninjago #lego ninjago #ninjago kai #ninjago lloyd #ninjago memes #ninjago jay #ninjago nya #ninjago zane #ninjago cole #lloyd garmadon #ninjago wu #ninjago lou #lavashipping #ninjago lavashipping #kai x cole #ninjago sins/wins

[cozylittleartblog]

everyone has different ideas on how this will go down but somehow i find the 'calm, stern anger' take the scariest of them all. drawing this gave me anxiety ♥

#toh #the owl house #emperor belos #hunter #the golden guard #lil rascal #art #doodles #fanart #dont touch that bird or that boy you rat fucking bastard ♥ #ive been surviving on toh fics and let me tell you #there's a million 'belos throws a FUCKING tantrum' fics but only a few 'give me the palisman hunter :)' fics #and those ones actually scare me #i get tense reading them #something about those vibes that really chill 'i will give you exactly one chance to fix this :)' vibe. just. *shudders* #anyway #cancelbelos2021 #also im. slightly mad about how dark the colors ended up being cuz i REALLY like what i did with the hands #CRIES #cant win em all #highlight reel #captioned

[andsheloved]

hello madeline:) I have a little fic idea but I think you’re best at turning little ideas into balls of fluff :) If you vibe with this idea and don’t mind, pretty please write something where reader seeks out steve for comfort but he’s busy being a hero. When she gets ahold of him, she wants him to turn off his hero persona. Like, she wants a hug, but she doesn’t want a hug from captain america, she wants a hug from her love steve :D I hope that makes sense! Thanks so much! Congratulations on your milestone! Muah🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

hello friend!! thank you so much for being patient with me on this one!! i do love a good steve rogers hug so this just made my heart so :))))) i hope you enjoy it my dear!! mwauh!! and thank you so much mwauh i am giving you the biggest hug right now mwauh

pairing ~ steve rogers x f!reader

word count ~ 1.5k

warnings ~ angst, fluff and a happy ending i promise, sort of touch starved reader(??), steve rogers needs a hug and so do you, pre-established relationship, dare i say, steve is an emotional himbo (endearing), not good self talk, relationship doubts (but just because steve is a silly man!! he loves you so much don't you worry!!), mention of cheating (no cheating happens are you kidding steve loves you too much), crying, hurt/comfort.

You had thought you had stopped counting the days sometime along the way, but you knew that in your heart that if someone had asked you how long it had been, you'd be able to tell them, maybe down to the minute.

Regardless, it had been too long.

Too long since he had softly knocked on you door frame, leaning his shoulder on the molding while taking you in. His sleepy, raspy voice letting you know exactly what sort of state he was in before you even turned to face him.

"Hey, sweetheart...." You could almost hear his weighted, tired footsteps trudging across your floor as you pictured the scene. "Missed you..."

You could almost feel him wrapping his arms around you as he fell with a heavy thump onto your bed, leaving his duffel-bag and now removed boots by your door, long forgotten until the two of you finally managed to untangle yourselves in the morning.

Thunk.

Your shot your head up from your pillow, the sound ripping you from your daydreaming as you spun your head towards your door.

"Steve!" You all but squealed, pushing yourself from the bed with break-neck speed as you ran to your doorway.

"Sweetheart..." He mumbled, and you tilted your head in confusion, something about this wasn't the same, there was something so tense, so formal, in the way that he spoke to you that had a pit settling in your stomach.

"Is everything okay?" The words fell from your lips before you even had a chance to really think about them, you knew that that was probably the last thing he wanted to be asked after a mission that long, but you knew that it would only cause you more sleeplessness than you already had if you didn't at least ask.

"Tired." He grumbled, offering you a soft smile before quickly shouldering past you, rushing towards the bathroom before just as hastily shutting the door behind him.

Oh.

So it was one of those nights.

You knew the job, you knew that being a hero wasn't all that it was cracked up to be at times, and that sometimes he needed a moment from being Captain America and have time to simply just be.

And some nights that meant being alone, no matter how much torture it brought you to not reach out and touch him when he finally crawled into your bed, you knew that it would be worth it in the end. He would get his time to recharge, and you, well, distance only makes the heart grow fonder, right?

The next morning, you awoke to an empty bed, your wandering hands grasping only sheets as you reached for him.

"Steve?" You called out, your voice still slightly broken and heavy with sleep. "Steve?" You called again, the cold flooring that hit the bottoms of your feet sending a chill up your spine as you stood.

You continued to call out his name through your apartment until you could smell the familiar aroma of his favorite, bacon and eggs, wafting through the hallway to your kitchen.

"G'morning" You sleepily mumbled, wiping your eyes of any remaining fatigue as your eyes adjusted to the bright lights of the kitchen.

"Morning." His response was quick, almost biting, and you quickly shot your head up from your sleep-laden stupor to the fridge.

It was then when you finally noticed his attire, not the mismatched pajama set he would usually have on at this hour of the morning, no, but jeans, definitely not pajamas, and a tee shirt, a navy blue jacket thrown over it as he casually slid his eggs onto his plate.

"Where are you headed?" You asked cheerfully, still attempting to remain as nonchalant as possible in your tone.

"Tower." He replied, his answer just as jarring as the last, "Tony wants all of us to be there when all the reports are filed."

You only hummed in response, trying to think of something you could possibly say to him when your brain had suddenly been so filled with far too many intrusive thoughts for this time of morning.

Before you could even begin the sort the words out, the front door slammed closed.

You swallowed, still trying to process his responses to you, let alone how abrupt his leaving was. Your brow furrowed as you slowly closed the refrigerator door, not even remembering what you had gone in there to look for in the first place.

You slowly ambled to the kitchen table, plopping unceremoniously into one of the wooden chairs, a loud creaking sound coming from it as you adjusted yourself.

He would have made that same dumb joke about it if he were here.

But he wasn't.

And you weren't sure if you'd feel less lonely even if he was.

You weren't sure how long you had just shuffled from room to room, looking for something to occupy your mind as you waited patiently for him to come back to you.

You noticed that you didn't feel the same excitement you once did at the thought of him finally coming through your front door.

So you just went about your day as if he wasn't coming home to you. You made your tea in a single cup, made your lunch for one, you even managed to go to the grocery store, just as you had when he had first left you.

Maybe if you imagined he wasn't coming home it all, it would hurt less.

You changed back into your pajamas almost the instant you stepped foot into your apartment.

On any other night, you might have maybe gotten dressed up, maybe you would've cooked a nice welcome home dinner, or if things went south, you new his take out order by heart.

But tonight, you just found yourself perched at the end of your bed, waiting for both someone and no one all at once.

Maybe he had finally gotten tired of your enthusiasm, greeting him with nothing less than the biggest of smiles and the widest of arms.

Or maybe he had met someone else.

Your ever-betraying mind whispered to you from the back of your thoughts, maybe you wouldn't blame him if he did. You weren't any type of super human anyway, maybe he finally found someone more his type.

The soft sound of trudging footsteps broke you from your spiraling thoughts.

"Hey, sweetheart..." His voice was warmer, kinder this time, though you still found yourself sulking, lifting yourself begrudgingly from the bed as you made your way to the bathroom.

"Hey, Steve." Your own response surprised you, and if you had a moment to think about it, you probably would have smirked. Good. A taste of his own medicine. But you were too caught up in your own melancholy to care.

You could almost hear how his breath caught in his throat at your tone.

He finally replied after a beat of silence, "Is everything okay?" You could hear how he inched closer and closer to the bathroom door frame, and with every step, you could feel the lump in your throat grow tighter.

He must have noticed the tears before you did, a soft "What's wrong?.." Slipping past his lips.

A hushed whimper escaped you as you finally threw your head into your hands, shoulders shaking as you sobbed.

Your breath slowly returned to you though when you felt his hand brush against your shoulder, beginning to rub calming circles onto your back.

You could hear him sigh as he watched you, you'd be lying to yourself if you said it didn't feel good to finally feel the warmth of him finally on your skin, but no amount of small touches would be able to replace the rest of him.

"Tell me what's wrong..." You heard him whisper, "I missed seein' my best girl..."

Your breath shook as you hastily whipped your eyes, lifting your chin slowly to face him. Your lip quivered when you finally did speak. "I missed you."

His brows furrowed instantly, his eyes flooding with concern and worry as they scanned your features, flickering back and forth across your face, and he finally replied with a quiet "Oh."

He gently grabbed your hand, leading you out of the cramped bathroom to stand in the dim light of your bedroom.

"I'm sorry I just-" He cut himself off with a sigh, giving you a sad sort of half smile before he continued, "I didn't wanna put all that on you, I didn't wanna bring it home, and I guess-" He huffed, frustrated with his own inability to explain himself, "I didn't want you to think anything was wrong, so I just-" He closed his eyes, taking a deep, steadying breath before continuing, "I'm sorry."

All that just because he didn't want to bother you.

"Steve..." You sighed, shaking your head. You had a thousand words in your throat, but none of them able to be spoken. Your thoughts bounced from one corner of your mind to the next, dodging your grasp as you tried to form something coherent to say to him, but it was no use, so you said the only thing you could, it was the only thing that mattered anyway. "I love you."

Any distance that had existed between the two of you disappeared in seconds as his heavy arms finally wrapped around your shoulders, holding you flush against him as you both took shelter in the steady sounds of each others breathing.

As he smothered you against his chest, it finally felt like you could breathe again, the weight that had settled itself on your weary shoulders dissipating the instant he pulled you against him.

"Missed this...." He finally whispered, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head, "Missed you."

:') i cry, it's been a minutes since i've done a steve rogers drabble and i missed my soft lil golden 40s man!! and just so you know everyone reading this deserves the biggest most wonderful hug from steve rogers, and if hugs are not your thing, the most wonderful, loving, encouraging speech from him is currently being sent your way because he loves you :) i hope i captured something along the lines of what you were looking for my anonymous friend!! and i hope you all enjoyed!!

as always, likes, comments, and reblogs are always, always appreciated!!

want more steve rogers? check out my masterlist!!

#madeline's drabble tuesdays! #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers x f!reader #steve rogers x female reader #steve rogers fan fiction #marvel imagine #captain america x reader #steve rogers reader insert #steve rogers fic #steve rogers drabble #captain america x you #captain america x f!reader #captain america x female!reader #chris evans x reader #chris evans x female reader #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers angst #steve rogers comfort #steve rogers comfort fic

[lightsovermonaco]

Speed and Stress: Part 2

Masterlist

Thank you to @acollectionofficsandshit for betaing, your comments on this one were unhinged gold 

Word Count: 3.1k

Recommended Vibes: “Perfect Day” by Tundra Beats

Part 1

Your brother was late. Not that anyone was surprised.

“Got the time mixed up,” he says as you climb into his absurdly tall truck. Living in Texas for three years had turned him into somewhat of a country boy, though not enough that he forgot his upbringing. He was still a blue blooded Los Angeles boy, just with a love for trucks and longhorn cattle.

“At least I wasn’t waiting for an hour this time,” you say and sling your bag to the backseat. Deciding to get right to the good stuff, you clasp  your hands together. “So! I have some news.”

Hunter grins at you. “You finally found a job?”

You roll your eyes and shoot him a pointed look. “No, dipshit. Better than that. I got us paddock passes for the whole weekend.”

“WHAT?” He jerks the wheel, horns honking at you as other drivers swerve. You grab the dash to steady yourself, laughing at his outburst. “Do you know how hard it was for me to get general admission tickets? How the hell did you get paddock passes?”

“May have met someone pretty high up at McLaren in Los Angeles,” you say, examining your nails.

“Like, Zak Brown? You met Zak Brown?” Hunter was such a fan boy, you had to laugh. His love for McLaren ran so deep he practically bled blue and orange. The only reason you watched the sport was because of him shoving it down your throat for years, but damn if you weren't glad for it.

“Daniel Ricciardo.”

Hunter choked on air but managed to stay in his lane this time. “And you waited until now to tell me?”

“I didn’t know it was him when I met him! He was on a motorcycle and I stopped to help film a tiktok and then-”

“Of course you’d stop,” he mutters, shaking his head. “You’re a sucker for bikes.”

“Yeah well, lucky that I am, cause all I had to do was flirt to get us those passes.”

Your intention had never been to take advantage of Daniel. It was more the opposite in fact; you were just living in the moment and capitalizing on the once in a lifetime opportunity to flirt with your celebrity crush. You had to admit, it turned out better than you'd ever thought it would.

“I can’t believe you seduced Daniel freakin’ Ricciardo,” he says, shaking his head. “You astound me.”

“I didn’t seduce him!” You protest.

"Sorry my bad. You charmed him. That sound better?"

You roll your eyes. "Whatever. I damn near had a heart attack when I figured out it was him but he was kind enough to let me brush it off."

"Well, thank god for your two-wheeled obsession because without it, we would be watching the prix from the nosebleeds."

You laugh and shake your head. Hunter tended to have a poor filter when he was excited and tended to spew whatever was on his mind. "Just watch your tongue this weekend, alright? I'd rather embarrass myself than have you do it for me."

Hunter gives a mock salute. "Yes ma'am."

**********

You'd stuffed five different outfits in your bag in preparation for the grand prix weekend. In theory, it shouldn't be hard to decide what to wear. But Friday morning you changed clothes so many times you lost count. No matter what combination you tried you weren't satisfied.

Finally, you give up and settle on a McLaren polo and denim shorts. Simple and comfortable, but form fitting enough to catch Daniel's eye should you run into him.

You knew you shouldn't, but you pull out your phone to text him anyway.

Thanks again for the tickets. Let me know if you've got any free time so I can properly thank you!

You hit send before your brain has the chance to overanalyze the message. You check your phone obsessively the entire drive to the circuit, only half expecting a response. You tuck your phone in your pocket when you get to the gates, determined not to let it get to you. Daniel warned you he would be busy, and you knew that responding to you was likely on the low end of his list of priorities.

Hunter gets you to the circuit a half hour before they let fans in and you have to listen to him ramble about driver stats the entire time. Normally you don't mind; guessing who's most likely to win each Sunday is something of a competition in your household. But today, you couldn't focus enough to put any thought into your prediction, instead just blurting Daniel's name.

"You're only saying that cause he's into you," Hunter says, grinning savagely. "He struggles in Austin and you know it."

"So? He's in a McLaren this year. You saw his pace in Bahrain, and that was with a damaged floor! He'll podium for sure." You cross your arms and return his grin. "Besides, he's motivated."

"Oh, is he?"

"I told him I'd buy the winner of the United States grand prix a drink. Up to him whether it's him or Verstappen."

"Oh my god you have a date with Daniel Ricciardo?"

"Dude, chill out. It's not set in stone. Honestly, he's probably forgotten that I exist."

"Has he texted you?"

You glance down at your phone and are greeted with an empty inbox. "No. Not after the initial time so I could have his number." You shrug and pick an invisible piece of lint from your arm. "But he said he'd be too busy anyway."

"Guess we'll see once we get to will call, huh? If he's forgotten about you."

"Yeah." An odd feeling rolls through you. It feels a bit like nerves mixed with hope, but you stamp down on it. You were here to enjoy yourself. The trip of a lifetime had been handed to you on a golden platter and you were wont to let something as trivial as nervousness ruin it.

Bells chime as you step into the blissfully cool will call office. A blonde woman with a bit too much blush dusted on her cheeks greets you with a smile. 

"What can I do for you?"

"Picking up some tickets that were left for me by a driver?" You try, unsure of the proper procedure. "I don't have a paper or anything."

She waves a hand in the air as if she expected as much. "All I need is your identification. They should be under the name."

"Oh uh, of course." You motion for Hunter to hand over your wallet and show the woman your driver's license.

"Great. Wait here and I'll grab those for you."

You drum your fingers on the desk while waiting for her to return. After what feels like ages she re-emerges empty handed.

"I'm not seeing anything here with your name on it," she says, her plastic smile at odds with her sincerity. "I'm afraid your tickets aren't valid until Sunday."

"Can you double check? Daniel said they'd be here-"

"So sorry. There's no record of anyone dropping tickets off for you."

You blink, holding your tongue in the face of her blunt response. "Okay. I guess ill try and get it sorted out."

Hunter breaks the tension. "Can't you call him?"

"I can't just call him, I'm sure he's busy."

"Either that or we don't get in. Just do it, he gave you his number and specifically told you to let him know if there were any problems, didn't he?"

Yes he had, but that didn't mean you wanted to disturb him. He was probably knees deep in some sort of race weekend press conference or drivers meeting and heaven forbid you interrupt.  But it was either that or you slink home disappointed and empty handed.

"Fine," you grumble, pulling out your phone with deliberate slowness. Hunter crosses his arms and tips his head to the side, a smile playing on his lips.

"Well?"

"It's dialing, you good for nothing busybody-"

"I was wondering how long it would take you to call," Daniel answers, voice radiating sunshine.

You cut right to the chase, not giving yourself a single second to evaluate how your heart skips. "Look, I don't wanna distract you on a race weekend but I'm at will call and they're telling me they can't find any passes left for me."

"Let me guess," he starts, raising his voice to be heard over the pneumatic tools in the background, "You're dealing with Jenny?"

Your eyes fall to the name on the woman's lanyard. She shifts under your gaze like she knew exactly who you were on the phone with. "Yep. Spot on."

"Kinda figured she would be a problem. She's got a huge crush on me and does this every time."

You fight back the strange sensation his offhand comment brings to the surface. "Oh, really?"

"I'll be right there. Give me ten minutes or so."

"Oh you don't have to-"

"Hey, no big deal. I gotta go that way anyway."

"Uh, okay. See you soon?"

"Yup. On my way."

You hang up and stare down at the phone, stunned.

"Well?" Hunter asks.

"I guess he's coming here to sort it out himself."

He blinks rapidly and shakes his head. "Hold on. Are you telling me that I get to meet Daniel? Like right now?"

"Can you relax?" You laugh lightly. "Honestly you're gonna freak him out."

"Uh, yeah sure. No big deal, just meeting one of my favorite drivers in the minus five minutes and I'm completely unprepared. It's fine."

If you roll your eyes any harder they'd pop out of your head. "Relax. He's laid back, but I don't want you to freak out and embarrass us both."

"Excuse me," Jenny breaks in, her distaste clear. "Please move aside if you're not picking up passes."

"Er, yeah. Sorry." You shuffle awkwardly off to the side to wait. Cheesy elevator music plays and Jenny shoots you glares until the door squeaks open and the human incarnation of the sun steps inside. Your breathing stutters when the Australian shoots you a wink and a grin before sauntering up to the counter.

"Why hello there Jen," he says, and she giggles coyly. 

"Hi Daniel." She lays a hand on his forearm, the touch light and flirty. "What can I help you with?"

Daniel leans into her, whispering conspiratorially. Whatever he says has her bold smile faltering, replaced by a mask of professional cheer. Daniel shoots you another wink as the woman retreats to a back room, returning moments later with your supposedly missing passes.

"Thank you," Daniel says sweetly, taking them from her and turning to you. "I think these are yours."

"Thanks." You take the passes and hand one off to your awestruck brother. You nudge him and he comes to his senses in time to shake the hand Daniel sticks out.

"You must be the brother," he says. "I see you're a fan."

Dressed head to toe in McLaren colors, there was no other conclusion for Daniel to draw. For once your brother is the one stunned into silence so you answer for him, "Yeah, only a little. He was crushed when you left Red Bull cause Max is his other favorite driver and now he has to split his loyalties between teams."

Dan's laugh snaps Hunter out of his trance. "I know you're busy but do you think you can sign something for me?"

"Of course. How about this?" Daniel snatches the hat from Hunter's head and produces a sharpie from his pocket, signing the brim with practiced efficiency. 

"He'll be texting the group chat about that as soon as you're gone," you tell Daniel who laughs along with you.

Heat rises to your cheeks as Daniel's assessing gaze sweeps you from head to toe. "McLaren orange looks good on you."

Channeling his easy confidence you flash him a grin. "Not as good as it looks on you."

He smooths the hem of his soft shell jacket, smile turning bashful. "Anyway. I gotta run. See you Sunday after I win!"

Your eyes follow him as he jogs back through the paddock until he's swallowed by the crowd. You sigh, shifting your weight from foot to foot. God, he was gorgeous. And he had such a big heart. It was a shame someone hadn't snatched him up yet, but then again, that meant you still had a shot, even if it was a slim one.

"So where exactly do these get us?" Hunter toys with the lanyard now placed around his neck. "It doesn't say."

"I'm guessing the McLaren lounge," you say and point to the logo on the passes. "Above the garage."

"That's the perfect vantage point for practice."

And it was the perfect view- before getting in the car Daniel walked out into the pit, suited up in his cobalt racesuit and minty helmet and glanced up. You weren't sure if he saw you or not when you waved but he gave a little salute nonetheless.

Hunter was practically glued to the bank of floor to ceiling windows for the entirety of free practice, immersing himself in the experience. You found yourself glancing at the timing tables every lap, silently hoping to see the RIC tag move up. By the end of the second session he had been fourth fastest, a few tenths behind both Mercedes and the Red Bull of Verstappen. 

By the time you make it back to Hunter's house, you're both exhausted from a full day of running up and down the paddock. The pair of you had been determined to soak up every second of it, sneaking into whatever offices you could and stealing bites off the buffets and cups of coffee. 

Saturday’s free practice and qualifying session pass in a blur of color. Daniel drags his McLaren up the ranks to qualify fourth, his best starting position so far this season. He had a decent shot at the podium- Bottas should be easy pickings and if Verstappen and Hamilton made any mistakes, Daniel might even have a shot at the win.

The excitement in the air is palpable as you both flash your badges and head back up the now familiar path to the McLaren lounge. An hour before lights out, the v6 engines rumble to life below. You venture out onto the balcony, watching and waiting for a glimpse of Daniel.

The Aussie does you one better by walking out, race suit on and helmet in hand. He chats animatedly with Michael before stopping and craning his neck upwards. Michael nudges him with his elbow but Dan ignores him, answering your tiny wave with a wink. He mimes taking a drink and you roll your eyes.

Dan throws his head back and laughs, audible over the cacophony below. He gives you one final salute before Michael drags him back into the garage.

Ten minutes later cars begin streaming out on track, Daniel taking the fourth grid place as his mechanics once again swarm him. Tire blankets are secured, keeping them warm and pliable ahead of the formation lap. Thirty seconds before the boys are released, they're peeled back off as everyone scrambles off the pavement. Verstappen leads them away down the 3.4 mile track for the formation lap. Dan does a few small power slides before taking his place on the second row.

One by one, the red lights illuminate and disappear quicker than your blink. Daniel gets away clean while Bottas stumbles out of the gate, leaving himself wide open for Daniel's overtake on his right side. Cheers erupt around you, your brother going so far as to lift you off your feet.

Maybe Dan had a shot at winning after all.

A nail-biting 38 laps pass without a change in the order of the top three. Finally, a mistake in Max's pit stop sees him return to track third, just behind Daniel. The McLaren driver puts up the fight of his life, late braking at every corner and defending his position for all he was worth. Lewis was twenty seconds ahead- he wouldn't be winning but he could defend his second place spot.

Lewis Hamilton, race winner for the seventh time at the Circuit of the Americas!

Daniel Ricciardo crosses the line second, Max Verstappen takes home that last podium step for Red Bull. An astonishing fifty six laps here today in Austin!

The box erupts around you, a roar of cheers making it impossible to hear what else Crofty and Brundle were saying. But it didn't matter as Daniel raises his fist when he swings back into parc ferme, jumping out to be congratulated by his team. It was his first podium for the papaya team and you can tell it means the world to them.

"Looks like you're taking Lewis out for a drink," your brother teases. "Told you he wouldn't win."

"He almost won," you counter. "But hey, I'm not above asking Lewis on a date. Could you imagine? I mean, he would never agree, but still. It would be a hell of a date."

If you crane your neck from the balcony, you can just barely see the podium. Everyone goes quiet for the anthems and erupts again when the champagne is sprayed. The McLaren team chant for a shoey, which Daniel obliges. He sits to unlace his mint green boot and pours champagne into it, drinking from the boot before passing it to Max who joins in on the fun. 

Just as quickly as it began, the celebrations ebb. Daniel is the first to leave the podium which seems odd, given that the PR department surely wants his first big win for the team to be well documented.

Your phone buzzes a second layer. You fish it out of your pocket, a Cheshire grin splitting your face.

"Shouldn't you be busy celebrating?"

"I am," Dan starts, sounding breathless. You can barely hear him over the sound of the crowds chants behind him. "But I want to celebrate with you. I know I didn't win, but how about you let me buy you a drink instead?"

You barely hear anything beyond his first sentence. I want to celebrate with you. Were you dreaming? There was no way this was real.

"Um, I'm sorry, you want to celebrate by going out with me instead of your team?"

"If you'll let me. Hey- just text me okay? I can barely hear you over everyone screaming my name. It may be going to my head."

You laugh, drawing the attention of the vip's nearest you. You give an apologetic smile and move further from the crowd. "I'll text you an address. See you later, second place."

#daniel ricciardo #daniel ricciardo x reader #formula 1 #formula 1 imagine #formula 1 fanfiction #formula 1 fantasy #formula 1 fanfic #f1 #f1 fanfic #daniel ricciardo fanfic #reader insert #my writing #speed and stress

[13uswntimagines]

Things *Good* Alphas Do (Alpha!Becky x Alpha!Alyssa x Omega!Reader)

Request: Alpha Alyssa and Alpha Becky/ Omega reader where she’s newer to the team and really shy, especially around alphas and Becky and Alyssa come up with elaborate plans to spend time with her (with the teams help) and omega reader slowly falls for them especially when they protect her from a push alpha when they’re out somewhere?

Alyssa watched you from across the bar. Tracking every movement you made as you ordered your drink next to Mal. The other omega was leaning heavily on you, and she made a mental note to give Rose a heads up. 

The team paid little attention to her protective stare, more than used to her and Becky’s possessive (but carefully restrained) behavior around you. They understood the delicateness of your situation. 

You weren’t just shy, that much had been overwhelmingly obvious since you had joined the team about six months ago. When you first arrived, you were skidding beyond belief, flinching every time an alpha so much as looked in your direction. Even around the two women who were destined to be your mates. 

It was a slow process but the omega’s on the team had eventually gained your trust, and in turn began their plan to get you to accept your alphas. 

*****

Attempt 1 - one month in

Christen was the first person you trusted. Her quiet, calm nature resonated with you and you found that her alpha, Tobin’s, chill vibes didn’t set off warning bells in your brain. 

You loved hanging out with her (the team joked that you followed her around like a puppy for those first weeks), and morning Yoga together had quickly become an integral part of your routine. You didn’t like it when people messed with your routines. 

“I didn’t know you two did yoga,” You mumbled, raising your eyebrows at the two alphas shifting awkwardly from foot to foot. 

“We wanted to try something new if that’s ok with you?” Becky asked hesitantly, reaching out to carefully run a hand down your arm. 

“We thought it would be a good way to enjoy the view,” Alyssa shrugged, the only indication she was nervous of your answer was her worrying her lip between her teeth. 

You glanced worriedly at Christen. You had come to look forward to yoga. It helped you to relax and center yourself before having to deal with the craziness of the team. 

She nodded encouragingly at you, a small smile playing on her lips as she released a bit of her soothing scent (your alphas did too, but at a much lower rate- afraid that overwhelming you with pheromones wouldn’t work well in their favor). 

“I’m sure they’ll be fine, our routine isn’t too complicated,” 

“And they’re going to be over here by me,” Tobin added, gesturing towards two yoga mats a little ways away from the ones you and Christen were going to use. 

You were pretty ok around Becky and Alyssa (your inner omega definitely recognized them as her mates), but no one wanted to push you too fast too soon. You eyed the spot Tobin had pointed to and your alphas respectively. It wasn’t that you didn’t trust them, it was just that the previous alphas in your life hadn’t made you feel confident that they would treat you as an equal. That they wouldn’t push you to accept them before you were ready too. 

“We respect your boundaries y/n,” Becky said softly, her finger still rubbing your arm, her soothing scent getting just a little bit stronger. The lines for what you and your inner omega were comfortable with were set, and neither alpha was going to overstep it. 

“We just wanna be close to you,” Alyssa added, equally as soft. 

You paused, looking for any hint of dishonesty (unaware of the apprehensiveness leaking through your fledgling bond to your alphas). 

You nodded when you didn’t find any. “You can do yoga with us,” you smirked, feeding off of the excitement they were sending your bond“if you can keep up that is,”

Tobin cackled at your sudden surge of confidence and the wide eyes of your mates. They hadn’t gotten the chance to see your sassy side yet, and she knew that they were going to have their hands full. 

“Let’s get started then,” Christen laughed. This was going to be a fun morning. (And if Tobin got to watch your alphas fall all over themselves to get you to feel comfortable around them, then this was going to be a fun courtship to watch). 

*****

Attempt 2- 3 months in

“I wasn’t built for this,” Alyssa huffed as her head popped back above the water, whipping the hair from her face and clinging onto her surfboard for dear life. 

“And you think I was?” Becky grumbled, paddling over to her alpha mate, while still trying to keep an eye on their omega who was heading out past the breakers with Kelley in hopes of catching another massive wave. 

You had taken a long time to warm up to the feisty omega (you were still incredibly hesitant around her rambunctious blond alpha). They were happy that the omega’s on the team were starting to really crack your shell. It helped that most of them were into the same crazy activities you were. 

The team was trying to take advantage of your love of surfing as a way to help your alphas bond with you, but it wasn’t exactly going to plan. No one had accounted for the fact that neither of your alphas was particularly good on a surfboard, or in the water for that matter. So they had spent the majority of the day watching as you, Kelley, Tobin, and Alex had basically swum circles around them. 

“Looks like you two got yourselves a daredevil for a mate,” Emily snorted, coming up beside them. Her watchful eye never left where her mate was moving next to you. 

The two of you had a knack for finding trouble, but she hoped that didn’t extend to the waves. 

“I don’t know how you all do this,” Alyssa huffed, finally pulling herself up on her board. 

Emily shrugged with a giggle. It was hilarious the lengths your alphas went to spend time with you. “Lots of practice my friend. At least you have more patience than the rest of us,” 

Becky and Alyssa shared a look as you paddled after a giant wave. It seemed that you were definitely going to give them a run for their money. When you were more comfortable and you had finally accepted them as your mates, they were going to have to set some boundaries for sure. 

“I didn’t know she had it in her,” Ashlyn cackled, joining the group watching the two omega’s shred that monster wave. 

Your alphas jaws dropped in awe, excitement and pride surged both ways through your (slightly stronger) fledgling bond. 

“We might wanna duck dive,” Emily mumbled just before she disappeared into the water. 

“What?” Becky asked, glancing at Ashlyn who also dove under. She turned back towards Alyssa, her eyes widening when she saw the giant wave coming right for them. 

Alyssa’s gaze followed hers, 

“fuck” she hissed, just as the force of the wave took them, tossing them around like socks in a washing machine. Their boards flew out from under them in the watery barrage but surprisingly didn’t become untethered from their ankles. 

Both alphas made it back to the surface with minimal sputtering, dragging themselves the rest of the way inland. They were very much done for the day, but it appeared you weren’t. 

Your head popped up above the water with a huge grin on your face. Kelley’s wasn’t too far behind you. The two of you shared several words before hopping on your boards and heading back out through the surf to do it all again. 

The alphas shook their heads. 

“We need to convince her that cuddles and movies are just as good,” Becky grumbled, and Alyssa nodded in return. The yoga was hard, but at least it hadn’t almost killed them. Hopefully, whatever plan the team came up with next didn’t involve more extreme sports. 

*****

Attempt 3- 6 months in 

You stood there with your arms crossed, glaring daggers at the two alphas in front of you. You were sure they could feel the frustrated pheromones rolling off you, and your agitation leaking through your evergrowing bond. 

You were fairly comfortable with the women who you knew were your mates, but you weren’t quite ready to take the leap and admit your feelings. You also weren’t really fond of this little surprise they had sprung on you for your team-bonding night seating arrangements. 

Every seat in the hotel room was taken except for the one in between your mates on one of the queen size beds. 

“Are we going to pretend that you two didn’t plan this?” You growled at the alphas, who were shrinking back into the bed. 

“We didn’t!” They exclaimed, Becky, holding her hands up in surrender while Alyssa seemed to tuck into herself (which was completely hilarious because of how big she was). They both released a little bit of their scents (along with several members of the team), hoping to appease your very unamused inner omega. 

“Well, it’s one hell of a coinkydink that the only open seat is between you,” You huffed, not buying the innocent act they were playing up. 

Your alphas sent a pleading look towards the ringleader of this particular attempt, “They had nothing to do with this short stack. It was all Sammy’s idea,” Kelley shrugged. 

“Hey!” Sam exclaimed at the same time Mal giggled out a “Right under the bus,” 

You glared at the omega’s who had become your friends over the past several camps. “You all need to stop meddling,” 

Kelley rolled her eyes. You were utterly adorable when you were trying to be grumpy (Kelley was sure your alphas would agree- if the looks they were giving you were anything to go by). “Yeah, yeah. Just sit down already,” she said, kicking your butt from her place cuddling into Emily on the other bed. 

You tipped forward, landing in Becky’s lap with a huff. She steadied your shoulders as you scrambled from her lap (ignoring the way your inner omega preened at the attention). 

“You alright darling?” Alyssa asked, watching carefully as you wiggled in between them into a more comfortable position. 

“Mm fine,” You mumbled, sighing when you finally found a comfortable position (completely ignoring the fact that it had you pressing into Alyssa’s taller frame). She smiled indulgently at you, slowly working her arm behind both you and Becky to make herself a more comfortable pillow for you. 

Becky’s hand came up to rub soothing circles on your arm, working her way very slowly up your shoulder and towards your neck. You hummed lightly, sinking further into Alyssa. 

You couldn’t help how relaxed you were around the women. How absolutely safe you felt. Your eyes slowly dropped shut. You guessed the warmth of your mates (the soothing pheromones they were releasing) was causing your exhaustion to finally catch up with you. But you still didn’t want to fall asleep. It would make you a perfect target for a joke from the other youngins. 

“Just relax, we’ll take care of you,” Alyssa whispered into your hair, placing a very sweet kiss on your temple. 

“Promise?” You asked, quaking an eyebrow. They had gained your trust over the last six months, but you still needed to make sure before you let go completely. 

“Always,” Becky nodded. You hummed in agreement, finally giving in to the pull of sleep, confident that your alphas would ward off any unwanted pranks. 

*****

You were having the best time ever. You were never really a fan of bars or dancing, but here with the rest of your team, you were having a blast. 

Mal leaned heavily into your side “How do you do it?” She asked, her words still clear despite how many margaritas she’d had. 

“Do what?” Your eyebrows furrowing. You had no idea where this conversation was going, but if the shift in pheromones was anything, it wasn’t going to be a place you wanted to actually talk about. 

“Resist the urge to mate for so long,” Mal snorted, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

You felt heat flood your cheeks, traveling all the way up to your neck towards your ears. You didn’t have a lot of good experiences with alphas, and in the beginning, the quiet stillness of your mates had unnerved you. You wondered when they would drop the calm and patient act and try to take what they believed was theirs. 

Over time, you learned that they never would. They would never cross a boundary you weren’t comfortable conceding. You learned how to trust them, how to finally let yourself begin to lean into the feelings your inner omega so strongly believed in. You were getting closer and closer to finally being ready for them, it had just taken you longer than most (something your alphas assured you they were fine with). 

“I-... I don’t,” You stuttered, but it seemed like Mal didn’t even realize your internal spiraling. 

“I was barely able to hold out for a week with Rosie. We met and it was like bang- insta-heat,” she rambled on leaning in very close to your ear, her head lolling to the side on your shoulder. “they love you, you love them, so what’s the holdup?” 

You sighed. You did love them, and your inner omega yearned to finally take them as your mates, but it was just so overwhelming. You didn’t want your relationship to be dictated by instincts, but you wouldn’t deny that you were slowly falling for the women who had worked their way into your heart. 

“I’m trying to get-...” You started, only to get interrupted by a new presence right over your shoulder. 

“Hey ladies, what are two little omegas doing here by their little lonesome,” He said, flashing you what you assumed was his most charming smile as he pumped out his cloying scent. 

Your nose wrinkled involuntarily- his calling pheromones were absolutely disgusting to the earthy sweetness your mates sometimes used to help you calm yourself down. 

“We’re not alone. Thanks,” You mumbled, pulling Mal tighter to you. She may act like your protector for the most part, but that didn’t mean that you wouldn’t step up.

The alpha chuckled, stepping closer to you and placing an unwanted hand on your arm. “Oh contrare. You can’t fool me with that omega on omega shit,”

More of his disgusting scent pressed over you, calling for your submission. You steeled yourself, fighting against the urge. You had raced worse on the soccer pitch from opponents far more dominant than this duchbag. He didn’t deserve the honor of your submission. 

“Don’t touch me,” You growled, staring him defiantly in the eyes and shrugging his grip off your arm. 

His lips twitched as though he was amused by your defiance. “Come on baby, quit playing so hard to get,” he said, his hand returning just a little bit higher on your arm. You winced at the tight hold, opening your mouth to respond, only to be cut off from a low and dangerous growl from behind the man. “I believe she said to let go,” Alyssa said.

“Now!” Becky added, and it felt like something in your chest loosened. Their pheromones drowned out his scent, wrapping around you like the world’s softest blanket. Like everything would be alright now that they were here. 

The alpha smirked and shot a low growl back at the two enraged alphas. “Whoa, calm down. She’s just playing a little hard to get. Now get lost, I was here first,” 

Becky stepped forward, gripping the alpha’s forearm so tightly you were sure his bones were straining under the stress. “You will take your hand off our mate before we remove it for you,” She rumbled, the sound resonating in her chest, as Alyssa stepped in between you and the alpha, acting as a shield. 

“Fuck you guys,” The alpha hissed, finally letting go of you and storming off to go harass some other omega’s. 

That when you noticed everything was shaking, or maybe it was you that was shaking? At some point during the exchange, Rose had come to retrieve Mal, dragging her away from the cloud of angry and dominant pheromones. 

Alyssa turned and pulled you inter her arms, and you buried your face in her chest. Becky hugged you from behind, encapsulating you in their warmth and protection. 

“You alright, babydoll?” Becky asked as Alyssa started to purr to soothe you. 

“Hmm, just hold me,” You hummed, your omega finally calming down. The arms of your alphas tightened around you. You were safe with them, and they would always be there for you. You knew that. 

“Always darling,”

#uswnt x reader #uswnt imagine #uswnt imagines #Becky sauerbrunn x reader #Becky Sauerbrunn imagine #alyssa naeher x reader #alyssa naeher imagine

[my-white-canvas]

No Dilf yet just a new character Unlocked

-------------

After the emotional drama that happened you asked Violet some questions that revolved around your head for some time while Mother was stroking your hair with you on her lap

"Alright, I need you to answer a few questions"

"Very well, however only for 5 minutes"

" Wah! Whatever you say, Why do we have to learn breathing techniques when you gave me a multi element vision? I'm not complaining tho"

"Well I allowed you two to learn breathing techniques so it'll enhance the elements from the techniques so you have more chances of taking out multiple people with visions"

"Ok but why didn't Mother get a physical human body until just recently?"

"She asked for one just 5 years ago so..."

"Then how about my body?"

"The both of your bodies were made differently because yours was made for a human soul but Teyvat's was made for an entire will of this world so her body needed a longer process"

"How long exactly?"

"10 years"

"Then-"

Violet was looks little distracted from your conversation so decided to get to the point because she probably needed somewhere to go.

"Ok I'll get straight to the point, other than just a child for Mother what exactly do you need me here?"

Mother was surprised at the question, she started to frantically wonder if she wasn't a good mother and you wanted to go back to your home world or you just no longer wanted to be her child, she stopped stroking your hair from fear of you getting annoyed from her or when you liked her better when she wasn't physically annoying, she was on the verge of tears from those thoughts.

"Don't get me wrong I love it here, like Mother, Selena and the little children I can talk to outside the main cities but why am I wanted from just my looks? Or there is someone that.. you know, on a high horse that ain't there's?"

Mother was relieved to hear that you were just confused from Violet's lack of explanation and really did care about her and the whole of Teyvat (except for the "you getting wanted" stuff) and those worrying thought were just over exaggerations.

You noticed her tears were falling down to your hair, you were quick to comfort her to whatever she was crying about.

"Well to answer your question lets just say there's an idiot who claimed to be the god of Teyvat because of some easy won luck"

"Whoever that is seems to be more than an idiot telling people that their 'GOD' but what's really surprising is that-"

"THEY ACTUALLY BELIEVE THEM"

"The people of Teyvat seem DUMBER than how I purposely made them"

"Mother what do you think about your people"

"Humanity is evolving, but backwards and everyday they just stray further away from god"

You couldn't help but giggle at what Mother said, that touch of comedy and when you looked back at Violet she was gone.

"Damn she could have told me times up"

---------------------

A few hours pass after Violet left and You wanted to catch up Mother on what happened but you expected her to already know.

You and Selena sat next to Mother like a lil of pile of meat and bones, you snuggled closer to Mother but you noticed something unsettling.

"She slept with her eyes open"

But you tried to ignore it and went back to sleep as if you saw nothing but it felt like you were looks at a corpse with their eyes open.

When dawn arrived the two puppets came to alert you that an intruder has been found in the premises but you were in a deep sleep from your traumatizing meeting with the grim reaper last night so Selena took action and left Mother to protect you.

She arrived at the last place the intruder was spotted and found a certain ginger headed Shneznayan that seemed looking for a fight.

"The rumors surrounding this place seems false from what I've seen, there aren't even any hilichurls here"

"Pardon my intrusion but I must ask of your intentions of this place"

"Ah are you also here from the rumors"

"Rumors?"

"You know that this place gives a chilling vibe, that of which surpasses Wuwang Hill"

"I see"

"It's quite the hot topic in Liyue and Sumeru, it's impressive you haven't heard of it"

"Hmm well thank you for the information but I ask that you leave this place, and tell none of this conversation"

"I would but I'm looking for a challenge at the moment so what about a little fight with you and me, if you win I'll leave but if I win you need to tell about this place"

He has spotted Selena's weapon from her waist and assumed she was able to fight with it.

"Very well, if it means they are safe I will duel with you"

The ginger smirked and summoned his hydro blades and thrusted towards her at full speed, as he continues to slash his opponent she kept dodging in a clam matter, Selena was purposely dodging to get a feel of the ginger's fighting style.

Selena saw an opening so she backed up and jumped at and incredibly high height that no amateur fighter could jump and unsheathed her blade to reveal a needle like sword unbuilt to cut, the ginger thought she was an easy target but then she said:

Dance of the Butterfly: Caprice

Then in an instant he wan in an illusion with a kaleidoscope of butterflies and one landed on his finger then the next thing he felt was a sting in mulch vital parts in his body in a split second then he was knocked out cold.

When he woke up he saw a tall woman at the corner of his eye, incredibly tall that no human could be as tall as her and she was giving him a look that said ' why the fuck are you here ' then one of the puppets entered the room but the ginger mistook them for a child.

"Uhm excuse me but is there a white haired girl with a ponytail and caries a peculiar sword"

"You must mean Lady Selena, she is currently busy at the moment and does not wish to be distributed"

Then the child gave him some food and left while the tall woman was still at the same spot but looked calmer than before and approached the Shneznayan.

"You must be apart of the 11 idiot harbingers"

"D- did she just insult the fatui"

"Pleas to not misunderstand, from my knowledge fatui means idiot does it not?"

"I don't really know what fatui means but certainly doesn't mean idiot, wait did she just ream my mind"

"Worry not Ajax, I do not wish to be on bad terms"

The tall woman said that in a joking matter so the ginger didn't take her words seriously then caught someone peaking from the he door.

"Who's that at the door? And how did she know my name"

"Ah sorry to interrupt but I need Mother for a sec"

"Ofcourse is there anything you need?"

"A lil something happened and I need your"

------------

I am officially ded for this one

#genshin impact #genshin #genshin oc #genshin impact sagau #genshin sagau #sagau #childe x reader #tartagalia genshin impact #tartagalicious #genshin x reader #genshin childe #childe #childe tartagalia #tartagalia x reader

[iluvyou-xoxo]

high

suna x reader

wc: 2.2k

you were completely in over your head. sure, you had the occasional blunt at a high school party or kickback, but never have you been to something like this.

your senior project about the film industry was just proven wrong as the girls next to you snorted a line off the kitchen countertop. in your suburban neighborhood, the parties portrayed in television or cinema were only that: something that directors and script writers created as they continued to fetishize the high school experience. your paper talked about how odd it was that films focused on the loss of innocence during those four years of hell and how extremely inaccurate the portrayal was.

but here you stand at your first college party since attending university for only about a month now. it was exactly as pictured in every movie that you once would have called “stupid as fuck", and now you wish you had paid more attention. 

everyone seemed to of had experience in these types of gatherings while you stood next to the sink with a red solo cup filled with only water. your roommate had dragged you to this frat house because she had to meet with her dealer and would much rather do it in a public setting. her smart decision was only your downfall as she had begged you to come too, yet ditched you fifteen minutes ago to go find him even though she said she'd be back in five.

a tall lean figure walked past you but it wasn't his perfect physique that got your attention, it was the strong scent of weed that clung to the cotton of his hoodie. once you looked up to see the ethereal face of rintarō suna, you immediately recognized him as your roommates plug and decided to ask him if he has seen your roommate that seemed to have gone m.i.a. while looking for the person only a foot away from you.

“excuse me,” you called out much louder than how you would usually speak, but the base of the speakers drowned out your voice. although suna had heard you, he didn't look around just in case you were trying to capture someone else's attention. when you timidly tapped the back of his arm with your index finger it was unmistakable you weren’t asking for anyone else.

he slowly turned around and looked down at you with a bored expression and a red flask in his left hand, “yeah?”

“i'm y/n, and I was wondering if you have seen himari; she's my roommate,” you quickly asked as you removed your hand from his soft hoodie that hid the hard muscle underneath.

“oh uh yeah...” suna said, unsure of what else to say.

“well, she said that she was supposed to meet with you quickly but it's been over fifteen minutes now and she hasn't responded to my texts.”

quickly he understood what you were asking, “we met up like ten minutes ago but right now I think she's hooking up with my friend aran.”

instead of responding, you looked down and a small frown pulled the edge of your lips in realization that the person that asked you to come for protection had left you even though she knew this was your college first party— hell, your first real party.

before you had the chance to decide on either waiting for himari to finish or to take your chances walking alone to your dorm room, suna lightly grabbed your hand and pulled you out of the kitchen. the two of you weaved through the bustling function until you reached the front yard that was littered with cups and bottles.

“aran said that he'd meet up with me as soon as they're done so we can just chill in my car ‘til then,” suna said slightly ahead of you with your hand still placed lightly in his as the two of you continued walking.

you were completely sober, yet his skin touching yours had your head spinning and all the danger signs that would have flashed in your head seemed of cut off when you were with him. although this was the first time you've ever conversed with suna, you had a slight crush on the middle blocker that you had seen in school games a few times.

the both of you approached a black car that flashed twice indicating that suna had opened the doors. to your dismay, he let go of your hand and walked to the driver's side as you made your way to the passengers. once inside he pulled out his phone to play some rap song that you had never heard of before and pulled up the middle console to reveal a mason jar with four pre-rolled blunts inside.

“you wanna smoke, doll?” the mysterious man asked.

“i don't have any money on me,” you responded quietly, shifting your gaze to the window next to you. a muffled chuckle interrupted your mile-a-minute thoughts and turned you to see suna show more expression than you had ever seen him hold before.

“baby, you don't need to pay if i offer it to you,” he explained with a light laugh at the end of his sentence. wow, his laugh is beautiful.

“oh, well okay then,” you reply timidly as you watch him take off the lid and reach over to pull a lighter out of the glove compartment.

he takes the first few hits, quickly putting your mind at ease in case it was laced or something, and then brings the joint to you. next, you take two pulls and pass it back, the cycle continuing until the car is filled with smoke and the blunt is near its end.

the silence between you two is comforting as there was no need for awkward conversation. it was just two people in a cloudy car, vibing to one of the many chill playlists that suna had. the weed had hit you full force and you suddenly started to chuckle while thinking about how happy you were that your annoying roommate ditched you, even though in any other circumstance you would be livid.

suna was just appreciating the calm that marijuana gave him until your laughter filled the car. his eyes that naturally hung low seemed to have deepened as he slowly looked over to you and poked your cheek with his pointer finger. “watcha’ laughin’ about?”

your smile didn't leave your face as you looked over to the most beautiful person you have ever laid your eyes upon. “oh nothing,” you said slyly as your smile seemed to only intensify.

“oh really?” he asked while slowly shifting towards you

“yep, really,” you said, but this time closed your eyes with a big smile still plastered to your face.

rather than saying anything else, suna only chuckled and placed a hand on your thigh while shifting in his seat so his head leaned back on the headrest. the small action made you're heart leap and eyes open again and you found suna with a calm look on his face with his eyes closed and head tilted slightly back.

his peaceful face made you realize that he has probably taken many people to his car for a smoke and called them endearing nicknames. rather than feeling dread, something you were sure to have experienced if you were sober, you came to terms that this would be your only chance to be close like this with him again. before you could even think twice about it, you reached over the middle console to grab his cheek and quickly brought his lips to yours.

either he had experienced this situation many times before or he had expected it, because he immediately kissed you back and not a single muscle tensed at the sudden move on your part. his lips slowly moved with yours and met your tongue with his own.

soon you got frustrated because even though you were making out he wasn't doing much else. you thought that by now he would understand that you wanted him to take you on the backseat, but he kept the pace slow and his hands stayed in safe places, one holding your mid-thigh and the other on the side of your neck.

you broke your lips from his and even though that pace had been slow, he somehow still managed to take your breath away. “suna, do you not want to touch me?” you asked with insecurity leaking into your tone unknowingly.

“baby, i don't fuck people unless they’re sober,” he said with a slight smile as he looked at you. although you completely understood where this was coming from, you couldn't help the frustrated whine that left your lips.

“then why did you offer to smoke if you knew we wouldn't do it afterward?” you looked down to his lap to he was definitely hard, but his face didn't give anything away.

“well i wasn't really looking to get in your pants just yet, but no need to worry babe, we can always pick up where we leave off,” next suna placed his hand on your cheek and began softly rubbing it.

three hard knocks on the driver's side window grabbed both of your attention. there stood a tall man with beautiful deep skin and you instantly recognized him as aran from the volleyball team.

suna rolled down the window and although most of the smoke had dissipated throughout your make-out session, the final bit remaining went out and drifted into the midnight sky.

“suna please tell me you're ready to go now. i can't keep stalling her forever,” aran said as he let out an exasperated sigh.

“where is she now?” suna asked with slight frustration.

“well, she was dancing with a few of her other friends so i decided to run out and see how you're doing out here. do you need more time?”

normally you would mind your business but now you seemed to let the thoughts you hold fall from your lips. “what are you guys talking about?”

“nothing baby, don't worry about it,” suna brushed you off quickly.

“c’mon suna, i can tell that this is going well since you’ve been in here for almost half an hour,” aran pressed. “i'm pretty sure you're going to have to tell her eventually anyway.”

“okay now i’m really confused” you replied.

suna stayed silent while glaring and aran, but aran only smiled at you while slightly shaking his head. “this boy has had me distracting your roommate while he tried to sneak in some alone time with you.”

the idea of suna, the most handsome boy in all of japan, creating a plan just to talk to you made you almost want to laugh at how farfetched it was. but shortly after glancing at suna to find him holding a slight blush on his cheeks and shooting his friend a glare, you understand that this was actually the truth.

there's an awkward silence between the three of you and aran was the first to break it. “well i'm gonna dip real quick, but i’m only stalling her for five more minutes so you better wrap this up.”

he quickly turns away and walks back into the party as suna rolls the window up again refusing to make eye contact with you.

“do you like me?” you cut quickly to the chase as your excitement can barely be contained.

suna has yet to meet your eyes but when he nods his head indicating yes you smile brightly at him and quickly place your hand upon his thigh to grab his attention. “you know, you should have just said ‘hi’ to me around campus or something; i like you too.”

when he looks up he holds a sheepish smile and is still dusted pink from embarrassment. “oh shut up and hand me your phone, we don't have much time and i need your number.”

wordlessly you hand your phone over once it's unlocked and on to your contact app.

“well your friend is waiting for you, aran should have already called an uber for you guys”

“well are you going to tell me how you knew id be coming tonight for this elaborate plan to seduce me?” you asked flirtatiously and in a teasing manner.

quickly, suna cupped your jaw and squeezed your cheeks together forming an adorable pout on your face, slowly making ‘tsk’ noises while swaying your head left to right.

“it's time for you to go now, sweetheart. i’m gonna text you later so we can plan a date and maybe ill let you know then.”

your eyes quickly light up at the word ‘date’ and you lightly nod with a smile forming on your face. as soon as he lets you go you lean forward to place a final kiss upon his lips and walk out of the car.

once you finally find himari, you get her into the awaiting uber, wave goodbye to aran, and tell the driver your address. the smile you hold doesn't seem to let up for the rest of the night and once you're tucked in bed at around three in the morning your smile only intensifies at the glow of your phone that holds two new text messages.

maybe: suna- hey, this is suna

maybe: suna- i have a game tomorrow and was wondering if you'd come..?

—————

date: march 18th, 2021

#haikyuu #haikyu x reader #suna rinatro #suna x y/n #suna imagines #suna x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x you #hq #hq x reader

[fyeah-bangtan7]

Jin: “I just hope anyone who likes me is happy”

When you’re trying to speak candidly with someone, it’s not always easy to be pleasant and considerate at the same time. Jin is all those things. “Butter” is staying on top of the Billboard Hot 100. How does it feel? Jin: I can’t really get a feel for what kind of response it’s getting since I can only go to and from work right now. Since all the awards shows are done remotely/have moved online, too, we can’t accept any awards in person or feel the vibe in person or anything. And I don’t use the Internet much, really. Consequently, I ended up feeling less pressure and I could enjoy the promotional period itself a little better. I’m just glad we’re doing well in the meantime.

In your last interview with Weverse Magazine, you talked about the pressure you felt after “Dynamite” topped the Billboard Hot 100, but it seems like you’re mostly over that. Jin: You could say that I cleared my mind, or that I worked through some things. I’m pretty sure I am doing better than then. I’m keeping a pretty regular routine now that I’m getting accustomed to commuting life, even though my schedule is sometimes a bit erratic. When I had to keep working without a single day off, I was sometimes really tired because I had things of my own to do after work before going to bed, but now after cycling through this routine for a while I’m a little healthier and I’m getting a little more sleep, too.

Before “Butter” came out, you released a solo song, “Abyss.” You were very forthcoming about the psychological difficulties you revealed in the lyrics and what you wrote about the song. What effect did releasing “Abyss” have on you? Jin: I felt a kind of relief. I want my fans to picture me as being happy and I don’t actually want them to know that I feel that way, but now and then I feel the need to talk about what’s inside me. It’s been a few years since I expressed it in a song or explained anything about it so I feel a tiny bit relieved.

Part of the lyrics say, “I want to know more about you today.” That overlaps with the line, “I hold my breath and enter my ocean,” to make a song that’s like you’re meeting your own inner self. Jin: Even I don’t know myself very well, and I was also depressed at the time, and that’s how I chose to face that part of myself. I never had a chance to meet myself, and I just feel like I was submerged in my own ocean and came back up to walk on the beach.

It’s not a perfect solution, but just the act itself of trying to go deep into the place with the answer appears to have had a positive influence on you. Jin: I’m trying. I thought that sort of exercise was right for me, but if this doesn’t resolve anything, I’ll try something else, and then something else. If I’m having a hard time, I can ask the label for some time off to do something else. I feel like just being able to do that, even, is a little bit helpful itself.

Is your style of singing in that song related to the message you wanted to convey? You tried to reveal the problems you had in a frank manner and solve them in some way, and the song disclosed your emotions as straightforwardly as the lyrics did. Jin: I handled the overall direction and composition of the song with Kye Bumzoo, one of the producers, and Pdogg, the other producer, directed while I recorded the vocals. We decided I would just go with my gut and not try to make it sound pretty or anything. That goes for the lyrics, too. I prefer songs that convey emotion in a calm, straightforward manner, both when I sing and when I’m listening to music.

Then what about “Butter”? Although it’s also straightforward like “Abyss,” the feelings it expresses are more pleasant. Jin: Seriously, sometimes I think how great it’d be if I could sing this kind of song exclusively—other than the chorus. (laughs) I mean, every song we sing is so high-pitched. If you take out the chorus of this song, I thought I could do this song live pretty comfortably, no matter how hard the dance moves are.

You sing the “Butter” chorus in a light, high pitch. You must have given a lot of thought about how to express yourself for that part. Jin: I felt pressure because the notes in the chorus are particularly high, so I put all my power into singing it, but I actually ended up putting too much power into my vocals, so I kept thinking I have to ease up and chill. When we were doing the first performance in particular, I forgot all of that and put power behind my vocals. I get nervous for every performance, but some make me especially nervous. I feel it sometimes whenever I do those performances. Inside I’m like, Right—Seokjin, you said you would ease up, remember? Anyway, it’s also nice that I get to show off a lot in “Butter.” You know I’m handsome, right? (laughs) It makes me happy that I can show off my handsome face to my heart’s content and show you everything I’m capable of. I wanted to show all of this off in a performance as quickly as possible.

“Butter” opens with you making gestures with your hands while looking cheerfully into the camera. I imagine you had a lot of fun preparing for the performance. Jin: Practice is honestly a burden, though. Usually when we practice, I’m slow at learning the moves. So I’m not very good at it. [And] when I practiced with [performance director Son] Sung Deuk, he was really worried at first. This is tough—can he pull it off? He worried a lot, right up until we got up for our first performance, but when he saw me again after two or three weeks of doing “Butter,” he said to me, Whoa, is this Seokjin, the guy getting all that hot feedback lately? (laughs) He said I was dancing great. At first I hadn’t seen the response, so I asked him if he was teasing me, but he said, “No, everybody’s saying you’re dancing great.” If that’s really true, it’s all thanks to him. (laughs)

In the “ARMY Corner Store” video uploaded to YouTube for FESTA 2021 in celebration of the eighth anniversary of your debut, you said you put a lot of effort into following the songs and dances. Aren’t you satisfied with how “Butter” turned out? I feel like the song was more enjoyable thanks to the character you’ve built up over time. Jin: Well, the song where I’m most satisfied with myself is “Butter,” because I’ve been honing my skills for a long time at this point, and “Butter” is our latest release. As time goes by and we come out with more songs, and if I improve more, my favorite song will be whatever is newest, and then “Butter” might not be as satisfying to me anymore. But it’s the most satisfying one for now.

In what ways have you gotten better? Jin: When I first started this job, I practiced according to the staff’s directions, and even now in the case of dancing I’m still striving to follow along, but it takes me less time to adjust than it used to. When I review after practice, I can see how it’s going and what I need to do. It takes a little less time to line myself up with the beat than before, and I think I’ve become able to refine it a bit better. I was also happy this time around when Hobi told me my dancing really improved.

How was performing for “Permission to Dance”? Jin: I really like the song, but when we perform it, I wish I’d had more time to prepare. We had a comeback in May with “Butter” and then a fan meeting concert in June, so we got ready for “Permission to Dance” at the same time we were filming performances of “Butter.” We didn’t have anything else we had to work on before “Butter” so we had plenty of time to practice it, but we had to practice “Permission to Dance” and get ready for the fan meeting simultaneously. Time’s always tight, but I think I could’ve done even better if I could’ve taken a little more time. I wish I had had more time to put a little more effort in.

The more time you spend practicing, the better the outcome, and the more ambitious you end up becoming. Jin: So, I’m not good at memorizing lyrics, for instance. I think some of the other members can catch on real quick, but it’s not like that for me. So if we do something like a new song or a special one at a fan meeting, I have to spend more time preparing than the others. When a new song’s coming out, I have to practice for at least 4-5 days to get the hang of it.

You performed the rap in “Daechwita” for BTS 2021 MUSTER SOWOOZOO, but it’s really rare to see you rapping. I imagine the process you went through to practice was intense. Jin: It was so hard. I had to do “Daechwita” and “Chicken Noodle Soup,” but it was only about a month before the concert when the set list was decided. During that time, I’d come home after finishing work, turn on the music for “Daechwita” and practice it for 15 minutes, then do “Chicken Noodle Soup” after that, and then go straight to sleep. The next day I’d wake up, go to work, come home and do another 15 minutes of “Daechwita” and more “Chicken Noodle Soup.” I kept repeating that for a really long time. I’m terrible at memorizing lyrics so that kind of took a while.

That’s a lot of time to keep practicing constantly like that. Your work-life balance must also be important, too. It’s difficult to practice beyond a certain amount of time every day without having some time to relax. Jin: Exactly. Like I said, my skills are lacking when it comes to memorizing lyrics, but I think I have other abilities that cover up for what I lack. In fact, I enjoy constantly memorizing things like that. My gift is my ability to enjoy practicing repeatedly, so if I somehow succeed before the deadline, I give myself praise. (laughs) Practicing takes me a long time, so I just decided to treat it as one big project. The way I do it is, when I say it’s time for a break, it’s time for a break, and I rest to my heart’s content.

You seemed to be talking about the importance of time spent outside working hours in “ARMY Corner Store” when you said the measure of your satisfaction is the degree to which you can pass your day meaninglessly. As a member of BTS, you must not have that much time to spend as you please. Jin: Koreans my age have no choice but to self-improve these days. You have to improve your qualifications, learn things, and people even tell you your hobbies have to be productive, even though they’re hobbies. After being taught that way since I was young, I think I need to follow through on that somehow. I feel like I have to do something productive, even when I’m trying to take a break. But if I don’t do a single thing and just loaf around in bed, or do some unproductive, unnecessary activity, I actually end up feeling satisfied. Go from sleeping to waking up, waking up to eating, eating to sleeping again. Wake up from sleep and suddenly want to watch TV, and go watch it. If there’s nothing good on TV, play a game, then look at the clock, and if it’s late, sleep. I think everyone needs days like this.

That time must become all the more important when you’re busy being a member of BTS, since you don’t have much time to spend that way. Jin: When I’m not working, all I really want to do is something I enjoy for myself. In that case, people might wonder why you’re doing things that won’t help you in life, but I think that time’s important for everyone. Society is always seeking out the things that are useful. And that’s good, too, but for our own sake, I think we require time to find stability in our own minds, even if it looks useless in the eyes of others.

Speaking of which, you posted a picture of yourself eating with Bang Si-hyuk, the producer, on Weverse. It’s amazing that two people with so much influence and things to do can take the time to relax together. Jin: People around the office might feel he is unapproachable, but I don’t find him to be like that. (laughs) So I asked him in passing to have a drink and he suddenly said, “Okay, when are you free?” Most of the time, though, I only meet like that on a spur of the moment, so I said, “Uh, I’m busy right now. This day’s all booked up, too, and so’s this day.” (laughs) “Then just give me a rough time and I’ll make time when you’re done.” We talked back and forth like that and he came to see me the next day for dinner when I was all finished with work. And he said he’d cook for me and buy wine, too. Anyway, it was a nice meal.

You couldn’t have felt that comfortable with him before your debut (laughs) but as time passed, many things have changed. Everyone became so successful, too. Jin: You could say that I was in a position where I was looking for a job when I was a trainee. At the time, I thought people who got chosen seemed really cool, but by contrast I had no confidence. I don’t think it would’ve actually happened this way, but I thought if I talked to someone who found work, they would give me the cold shoulder, sort of. So I didn’t feel very confident.

I think you showed that you have confidence with the joke you told on tvN’s You Quiz on the Block about your older brother calling you Mr. Seokjin lately, or when you talked about the mood when an older relative gave you money for Korean New Years on V LIVE. That you can easily accept anyone no matter how they handle you. Jin: Right. If I don’t behave that way, everyone else has a harder time. People I know will say “the superstar is here” as a joke. If I say, “Superstar? What are you talking about? Don’t say that,” and give them a serious look, they’ll have no idea what to call me next time or what to talk about. Honestly, if someone who’s meeting me for the first time or doesn’t see me that often responds in that kind of somewhat exaggerated way, they might think it’s fun. I’m sure that’s the way I’d react if I met a really famous person. So if someone says, “Aha, the superstar is here,” I say, “the superstar has come!” too. As long as I don’t respond in a serious way so everyone can tell it’s a joke, the ice is broken.

Now that you’re a superstar for real—not a joke—is there anything you’d tell the old, unconfident Jin from the past if you could meet him? Jin: I don’t know what I would tell him. I want to tell him to keep his head up (laughs) but if I gave my old self too much to think about, he might end up feeling exhausted after practice and give up. I think it would be enough just to tell him to work hard.

Where do you find the ambition to keep working hard, even now? Jin: From ARMY’s reactions, of course. I’d say I’m trying harder and trying to do well without exhausting myself so I can see people on Twitter or Weverse saying I’ve improved or that I’m doing a good job. And these days we have to do the performances on film, and we shoot them in advance for the sake of quality. Because of that, we usually record the performances long before the songs get released, which means we have to change our looks for the recording. It’s hard to go public with my new look until anything’s officially released for that reason, or else there could be spoilers. That makes me all the more eager to show off the best parts of myself in our performances. If it weren’t for the current situation, I could instantly see our fans’ reactions, so it’s a shame they can’t see me working this hard.

What would you like to say to ARMY? Jin: I hope our fans don’t lose their laughter. I’m not really good at saying those kinds of cheesy things. It’s not in my personality. I feel embarrassed and cringey when I talk like that and I can’t take myself seriously, so I try to keep it to a minimum. But fans watch us as a hobby, you know? Hobbies are all about enjoying yourself and being able to laugh, so I want to look happy for them, not exhausted. I go out of my way to make funny posts or leave funny replies on Weverse to make them happier. I just hope anyone who likes me is happy. And I don’t want them to see anything bad. That’s how I feel about my work.

© source

#bangtan #jin #m:weverse magazine #210728

[kuroosweakness]

oikawa, iwaizumi, kuroo, bokuto, akaashi, tendou, and ushijima as part-time workers

how i imagine them as part-time workers :DD please like and reblog !! <3

karasuno version here !!

oikawa: starbucks barista

- i’m sorry but he just fits perfectly with starbucks lmaoo

- he’ll be a nice worker half the time but if he doesn’t like the vibe a customer gives off, he’ll purposely write their name wrong 

- he will CONSTANTLY be posting about the job on his social media. if you’re on his close friends, the things you see will be quite concerning ( in a funny way though lmaooo )

- he’ll definitely fake a british accent in the drive-through

- if his friends pulled up to starbucks, the chances of him switching the salt and sugar is kinda high ... but he often gives out free cakepops which is one of the reasons why his boss is always trying to have a talk with him 

- but mostly everyone loves barista oikawa and no one can get rid of him, not even the boss. he’s one of those people who you just can’t help but love :)) 

iwaizumi: a movie theater worker 

- all i’m imaging right now is iwaizumi in a all-black movie theater crew uniform... 

- the gays and girls don’t go to the movie theater just to see movies, they’re there to see him too- 

- the main reason why iwaizumi likes working in a movie theater is because the bond between the employees is tight and he just loves film in the first place

- iwaizumi glares at the people who don’t clean up after themselves in the theater. he doesn’t understand why throwing away a popcorn bucket is so hard. 

- he’ll always scoop the perfect amount of popcorn in the buckets and his candy recommendations are on point. however, if he sees people sneaking snacks in, he’ll ask what they’re sneaking in and if the snacks fits his taste, he’ll smile and let it slide :) 

- the movie theater is probably right next to the starbucks that oikawa works at 

kuroo: tutor or target worker

- i bet you saw “tutor” coming but TARGET WORKER ( target is a grocery store that also sells a good selection of toys and plants and furniture and clothes. the amount of teachers i’ve seen shop at target is uncountable ) 

tutor: 

- kuroo would definitely be the chill tutor who explains things so lightly and easily it’ll make you wonder how you didn’t understand in the first place 

- his handwriting is ... doctor’s handwriting... reading off of his paper is not easy and students have to ask him to explain what he’s writing all the time 

- students are intimidated by him at first but later he just turns into the “smart one” in the friend group :)

target worker: 

- okay but kuroo in that classic red shirt ...

- again, he’ll be the chill one who lowkey dances when shelving items. if a customer doesn’t know where something is, they automatically go to him because he will know EXACTLY what they’re talking about 

- the toilet paper with the cartoon bears on the packaging? it’s on the right side in aisle 4 on the third shelf level

- the grandmas who shops at target loves him. idk why they just do :D

bokuto: uber driver/ uber eats 

- yes. bokuto would definitely be the FUN UBER DRIVER. he’ll offer mints, water, snacks before he even asks for the destination 

- people will definitely find candy wrappers over the back seat and empty water bottles ... and spare chargers... (his car probably smells like a mix of chicken and the smell of brand new clothing)

- the songs he plays? YES, TURN IT UP. when bokuto listens to music while driving, he gets IMMERSED into the songs. he sings his heart out, he dances, he does everything except put both of his hands on the steering wheel ....

- but no worries !! bokuto’s driving is surprisingly stable and his memory of the roads is outstanding 

- he’ll lend a ear to the people who are big on conversations. bokuto is AMAZING at talking. he has conversations like strangers as if they’ve been friends since three. if you have drama you want to let out on your uber driver, bokuto’s your guy 

- as a uber eats driver, he’ll probably steal a fry... and sniff the food sometimes

- however, he’ll always grab extra sauce and napkins and sometimes even buys a random food item he likes and gives it to the customer for free lmao 

- “oh yeah i know you didn’t order cheese bagels but i thought you’d like them so i got them” 

akaashi:  medical assistant/ EMT worker

- akaashi is quiet and doesn’t speak his mind often but his mind is AMAZING and he has a passion for helping others 

- the people of the community loves akaashi ( as they should ) 

- he’s helped people with broken arms, kids who fell off of slides, etc etc. he also specializes in protecting the children he sees. the kids that akaashi aids LOVES him and feels so comfortable with him which is why akaashi always gets the tea that the kids tells him :)

- “akaashi-san, my mom almost fed me blueberries yesterday so i put legos on her bed :D. also can i have the dino band-aids this time?”

- when akaashi hears things like this, it makes his day :) he’ll smile and nod along. “what happened next?”  

tendou: life-guard

- not only is he a fun life-guard, but he’s also a hot one :D <33

- the kids at the pool LOVES HIM. tendou always throws the pool rings into the pool for the kids to dive for. he brings floaty toys too!! when the kids don’t know how to blow the floaties, he’ll teach them

- if it’s especially hot one day, ice cream is on him. 

- even with his fun side, tendou takes life-guarding really seriously and never looks away from the pool when he’s on duty

- there’s never a dull, boring moment with tendou at the pool :))

ushijima: florist

- yes. ushijima as a florist? yes. 

- flowers have a special place in ushijima’s heart. they’re his safe place. he has a really good eye when it comes to matching flowers to decor. 

- he makes flower wristbands, corsages, flower headbands, bouquets, all that. he has his favorite flowers and is always trying to recommend customers to buy his personal favorites :) 

- there’s small scars and cuts over his hands due to the thorns and pricks that some flowers have. his coworkers keep telling him to put gloves on but he insists on treating all the flowers gently and equal

#kuroo tetsurou #kuroo headcanons #hq kuroo #oikawa imagine #oikawa fluff #oikawa headcanons #oikawa #hq oikawa #bokuto #bokuto headcanons #bokuto fluff #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu x reader #kuroo x reader #kuroo tetsuro x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu #haikyuu job #ushijima scenarios #ushijima x reader #ushijima x y/n #ushijima headcanons #ushijima #shiratorizawa #nekoma #fukurodani #tendou #hq tendou #tendou headcanon

[sunnysviolin]

currently having so many thoughts about aubrey getting sick of her moms mess one day and packing her bunny into her carrier and just leaving... she drifts about friends houses for a while before basil braves up to ask if she's okay :(( she's all out of energy + too stubborn to go home so she doesn't bother arguing and lets him take her to see polly (sorry me again with aubrey ramblings pls tell me to shush if you dont vibe w it)

Wow....I love this so much so I’m gonna combine it with that ask I got the other day and noodle on this a bit. Hope you don’t mind me taking your idea and running nonnie!!!

This got really long and kind of intense, so I’m putting it under a Read More. There’s also gonna be way more ahead!! This AU has caught me. But y’all Serious warning for emotional child abuse and neglect. Aubrey’s mother is decidedly not a good person, and their relationship is very damaged. Read only if you know you mentally can handle it, and no shame in skipping this. This part of it is heavy.  TW: Child abuse and neglect. TW: Alcoholism TW: Running Away TW: Homelessness

In the end it’s the rain that does it. The rain, the drafts in their weary old house, and the bucket that sits in the corner of her room next to her half broken laundry basket

On the last night Aubrey spends in her mother’s house the rain is coming down in freezing icy sheets. It’s bitterly cold, and she is weary. 

The summer of her 16th year has come and gone, and they are firm into the grip of September. It was a summer that had changed everything in her life. A summer where she found her way back to her chosen family, while becoming more isolated than ever from her real family. She had spent almost every hour out of the house- riding scooters with her gang, reconnecting with Basil, finding her way back into Kel’s loyal heart, letting her walls down around Hero, even discovering a hidden strength within her to forgive Sunny.  

It was the best summer of her life, even beating out the perfect summers spent in her childhood with Mari. In those days Aubrey had been naive. She didn’t know what she had, she just assumed she would always have it. This summer she had seen every experience for what it was- a gift. 

Fall coming had been difficult. Really almost nothing had changed, except it had. 

Hero had gone back to college, promising to visit at every chance he could. Aubrey had pushed down the spike of jaded denial that had risen up inside her at his words, and put her arm around Kel who was misty eyed saying goodbye to his brother. 

Sunny had spent most days in Faraway at either Kel or Basil’s house over the summer, but now he only came on weekends. He had started school again, a new school where no one knew his name or his face. He didn’t say much about it, but he hadn’t stopped going yet, so Aubrey considered it progress.

Kel and Basil had stuck close to her, and she was thankful for it. Aubrey knew now that nothing would ever separate the five of them again, but there was still the irrational fear inside of her that they would all leave her sooner or later. Her gang must’ve seen something too, because they had been awkwardly affectionate in a way that both irritated and comforted her.

But her mother....

Her mother had changed too. 

By sixteen Aubrey knew her mothers rhythms like the back of her hand. She knew the cycles that played out. Her mother would circle through various moods- cleaning, ignoring, depressing, drinking, regretting, promising, and then cleaning again. 

The regularity of it all had numbed her to the terrible conditions of her childhood home, and Aubrey spent most of her time out of the house anyway. (She had never been so grateful for nine hours at school, four hours after school goofing off in a big group, and the usual invitation to dinner with Polly or Kel’s mother. Aubrey usually only went home to sleep these days)

But her mother had added and taken away from her cycle. There was a new cycle now, and it was impossible to deal with. 

Ignoring, Depressing, Drinking, Angry, Regretting. Rinse and Repeat. 

Angry was new. Angry was (terrifying)....Angry was new. 

Aubrey had never tried to disrupt her mother’s cycle before, but Angry was enough to get her to try. She would clean the house top to bottom, putting in an effort she had never put in before to make things nice. She had thrown away bottles, cleaned dishes, cooked food, on and on all in an effort to change what she knew was coming. It still came. Her mother still wailed like a banshee, shrieking and hollering loud enough neighbors had called. 

The calls were the worst part. The low humiliation that sat in her stomach as she assured these people who didn’t really care that everything was fine, all while her mother continued to scream in the background. 

With Angry, Regretting was also different too. Aubrey, never one to take things lying down, screamed back until angry tears burst from her eyes. She would break down and sob in front of her mother, her walls finally ripped apart brick by brick by the woman who was supposed to love her most. 

Then her mom would hold her tight and promise things would be different. Regretting had mixed with Promising, and as much as Aubrey wanted to shove away the confusing affection, she couldn’t bring herself to. 

Screaming at each other was the only time that Aubrey’s mother looked at her. Curled in her mother’s arms weeping was the only time that her mother had a kind word. Aubrey couldn’t resist what she always craved, and some sick twisted part of her even longed for the point where her mother would snap and start yelling, just because she knew the release of emotions was soon to follow. 

That last night in her house was one of those nights. Her mother was yelling, too incoherent for Aubrey to even make out the words, but the tone said everything. Her mother had lost it over the dishes in the sink piling up. Aubrey had done them this morning, yet somehow she came home to a sink full of chipped dirty dishes. Those dishes felt like an ironic symbol of her life. No matter how many times she wiped it away. The dishes would be dirty the second she turned around. 

Aubrey was already in tears, her fists bunched at her sides and her teeth grinding down against each other. Soon enough it would be time for her to start yelling back, and the cycle would go on and on and on. The dishes would never be clean. 

Aubrey didn’t want it to go on. Not even her mother holding her was worth how torn apart her heart was becoming. She fled upstairs, slamming the door to attic and locking it tight. It didn’t matter anyway. By this point of drinking, her mother could barely stand, let alone climb a ladder. 

The rain was slamming against her windows, a steady drip already starting in the bucket in her room. It was freezing cold, and goosebumps rose on her bare arms. Maribelle was sitting in her pen, her nose twitching as she watched her Aubrey. Aubrey brushed at her damp cheeks and picked her bunny up, snuggling the tiny white creature close to her chest. 

Maribelle was too cold. Her mother hadn’t paid the heating bill again. The rain was too loud, and the wind sneaking in wrapped Aubrey in a tight grip. Aubrey sat on the edge of the bed and rocked her bun, trying in vain to warm them both up. A single thought ran through her head over and over

This wasn’t worth it. This wasn’t worth the love she craved from a woman who couldn’t give it. This wasn’t worth her pride at keeping things together. This wasn’t worth trying to fix over and over with no results. 

The rain began to slow to a quieter drizzle. Her mother was silent below. In the cold wet of her tiny attic room, Aubrey decided. 

No. This really just...wasn’t worth it. 

Aubrey slipped onto her knees, keeping Maribelle close as she pulled her backpack towards her and began to empty it out. She kept only her English textbook and her history notes. Everything else she could get a spare of. in her bag went two spare shirts and one pair of jeans. She packed in underwear and socks into the smaller front pouch. Aubrey stood and pulled the false bottom out of her desk drawer, taking the cash and the pack of cigarettes she had pinched off her mom and throwing them in as well. 

Finally there were the pictures. The frame of her photo of her and Kim had to be abandoned, but the actual picture was placed carefully inside her backpack. She had never been more happy to have her tiny carrier for Maribelle. The bunny happily hopped inside and burrowed deep in the soft downy blanket Aubrey put inside for her. 

It was depressingly easy to pack up her important things. Shockingly simple to write a note to her mother (I’m leaving. I’m not coming back. Two short sentences and that was it) It hadn’t even been hard to sneak out. After the hour or so it took to gather the rest of her necessities from the house and steal whatever money was in her mother’s purse, said woman had passed out on the couch in an alcoholic haze. 

Aubrey locked the door and stared at the silver key gleaming in her palm. She had only her backpack, a messenger bag, and her tiny bunny carrier. Her whole life fit into two bags. Aubrey left her key on the doorstep. 

She wouldn’t need it anymore. 

The rain had let up, but a harsh breeze whipped around her as she walked, pushing Aubrey to move faster. She took the sidewalks she had taken since she was little, letting her feet move as her mind went blank. Before she knew it she was standing on another street, one more familiar to her than her own. 

Aubrey spared a long look at Kel’s hosue. The lights were on inside, bathing their front yard in a warm golden glow. She stared at it for a moment, considering, and then the chill became too great. 

Aubrey bypassed Kel’s house and quietly snuck into the backyard of Sunny’s old home. The elderly couple that owned the house now was sure to be asleep. Kel said that they were quiet and almost never noticed anything going on. Perfect. 

Aubrey knew exactly where she was going. It was still standing. Faded and beaten down, probably rickety too, but it would be safe for her and her Belle. 

Besides only four other people even knew this treehouse existed. No one would ever find her here. 

#Very very long #sorry yall #I think I'm gonna call this #Runaway AU #Just because that makes the most sense #omori #omori headcanons #omori au #omori aubrey #mentions of #omori kel #omori basil #they'll be important #real soon #but yes #omori scooter gang #scooter gang #tw: homelessness #tw: child abuse #tw: child neglect #TW: alcoholism #If there's anything else #you guys thinks hould be tagged #please let me know #we're dealing with #sensitive subjects here #aubreys mother #omori aubreys mother

[hihellogoodbyebruh]

No Letting Go

Pairing: Angel Reyes x Black!Reader, Coco Cruz x Black!Reader (platonic)

Summary: Coco has been your best friend and rock since childhood. You’re having a problem learning to share him with the club, specifically a certain club member who happens to be your ex who you may or may not still be in love with.

Warning(s): 18+ only, smut (the sex!), foul language

Word count: 3,493

Author’s Note: This is for my fellow girls who’s love language is talking shit LOL. Also I’ve made this fic pre-season 1. EZ is in jail. This was two parts before I just decided to make it one fic. So it might be a little disjointed BUT just go with it okay? I’ve missed y’all and I hope you like this. Hopefully I’m not too rusty. Questions, comments, and concerns are always welcome. My inbox is open. Enjoy!

Your childhood wasn’t the most stable, drive by shootings and cracked out parents didn’t exactly leave room for normalcy, but there was always one constant for you and that was Coco. His mother was also an absolute train wreck. You guys kind of grew up taking care of each other. You remember Leticia being born while he was in jail and trying to talk some sense into Celia about giving the baby a better life. You remember when he got out of jail and joined the Marines. Just as you got him back, he was gone again. It was extremely hard not having him around, but it forced you to really take care of yourself. No more Coco to lean on. You only had yourself.

So after high school, you went to cosmetology school and got yourself a beauty license. You’d taken care of your hair for years and it’s important to you to teach others how to take care of theirs. Natural hair, wigs, weaves, braids, or whatever. You helped your clients with it all and showed them how to keep up with their hair. You got a job at a local shop and you were taking care of yourself. Things were good but you missed your best friend.

Then he was back. Coco was discharged from the military and you thought you’d have him all to yourself, but then he was telling you about joining the Mayans and you barely heard from him for months. Well, you weren’t just about to accept that shit.

You banged on the front door, “Coco open the fuck up! You know who it is! Open this damn door, Johnny!” You yelled, as you pounded your fist against the door.

The door whipped open and Coco stood there with an irritated look on his face. “What the fuck is wrong with you?! Don’t bang on my door like that. You know better.” The look on his face as well as the growl in his voice would have terrified anyone.

You just stared at him before breaking out into a smile. “I missed you.”

Some of the irritation left his face and he actually sighed at you. It was the closest to a pout he’d ever get. “Yeah, yeah. Get your ass inside.”

“I hear you grumbling, but this is what happens when you keep ignoring me. Imma stay on yo head boy!” You told him, walking into his living room before sucking your teeth when you saw who was there.

Angel. Reyes.

It was bad enough that Coco joined that damn club and was busy being their prospect. It’s been even worse since he’s basically become best friends with Angel, who happened to be your ex boyfriend. Well, maybe ex fuck buddy was better. He started to push for more and as someone who hated being cornered (and someone with serious reservations about his lifestyle) you broke things off with him. It was infuriating. You finally got Coco back, but he was taken away from you again and with the one person who you wanted to avoid. Feelings were still there, but you hid them by egging him on. Were you acting like a kindergartener pulling someone’s hair they had a crush on? Maybe. Using sass to hide your emotions? You’re a pro at that. Coco had no idea about y’alls past.

“Don’t you have your own place to live? Why the fuck you always over here?” You questioned, setting your purse down in one of the empty chairs.

“Hey! Don’t start Y/N.” Coco interjected, already knowing where this was going. It was equal parts exhausting and entertaining watching those two go back and forth.

“I do. I just like being over here. It’s more opportunities to run into you.” Angel replied from where he was sprawled out on the couch. He had a cap sitting backwards on his head, a gray sleeveless shirt on, jeans, and his legs spread wide.

“You giving off real scrub vibes right now.” You rolled your eyes at him before directing your attention back to Coco. “So where you been? See when you don’t return my calls you make me have to pop up on your ass. So wassup?”

“Nothing is up. You gotta chill. You know I’m prospecting with the club now. I got a job at the scrap yard and everything. I’m just busy living.”

“Mmmhmm...so you’re too busy for me now?” You asked, letting the spoiled brat come out of you a little before deciding it was safer to just change the subject. “ANYWAY, Leticia texted me.”

That caught Coco’s attention. “Why? What’s wrong? Is she okay? What the fuck did my mom do now?” He asked, worry clear in his tone.

You waved your hand to dismiss his concerns. “She’s fine. She has a school dance coming up and she wants me to do her hair. I think perhaps you should drop by and check on her, maybe have a small discussion about the birds and bees…” You implored, and he immediately began shaking his head.

“Nah. You should do it.”

“I’m not family.”

“Yes, you are. Plus you’re a woman. Y’all can talk about shit I don’t get.”

“It would still be good for her to have a male’s perspective. One to tell her how a respectable gentleman acts and better yet, shows her.” She has always pushed for Coco to spend more time with Letty. She knew it was hard from him, but she knew the girl truly loved her older brother.

“Who the fuck is Leticia?” Angel asked, clearly confused.

“His sister.” “My sister.” You and Coco answer at the same time. You both maintained eye contact as you basically glared him into submission. Your eyes conveyed the words you’d never let slip from your lips. ‘Spend some time with your fucking kid, Co’ was the thought written clearly on your face.

“Fine, I will stop by and check in.” He conceded and you smiled widely again. You loved it when you won.

“Y’all are so cute.” Angel teased, a small smirk on his face because he knew it would get under your skin.

The small smile on your face was quickly wiped away at his words. “Shut up. That’s my brother. Period.”

“I still have a chance then.” His smirk turned into a grin. He loved getting a rise out of you.

“Psh.” You scoffed, the retort leaving your lips quick and snappy. “A chance in hell.” 

“Then I’ll meet you there, sweetheart.” He always loved that fire in you. He missed not having it around as much. He felt bad about keeping the relationship from Coco, but he figured he’d bide his time for now. He still wanted you. He could remember the nights spent laid up in your bed as he watched you braid your hair or helped you lotion your body. His favorite thing to do was lather you up because it always led to him knocking your walls down.

You stood up from your chair and walked to where he was seated so you could stand over him. Your hands were on your hip and you just stared at him for a moment. He was so blasé about everything. You wanted to make him stumble just once. “Eat shit, Angel.”

“Only if it’s yours.”

You wanted to laugh so bad. He had such a quick wit and y’alls banter was something you have yet to experience with anyone else. Still, you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction so you turned away from him to keep your smile in check. “You goofy as hell. I don’t have time for this shit. I have appointments. Just needed to make Coco promise me to my face.”

“All that whining about me not returning calls or having time for you and you can’t even stay and hang? You’re so fucking fake.” Coco chuckled and you laughed as well.

“Don’t hate. I do what I gotta do. Walk me out bestie.” You grinned, walking toward the exit and grabbing your purse on your way out.

“Bye mamí.” Angel yelled at you and you merely lifted your hand to give him the finger. His answering laughter warms you up and you can’t help throwing him a look over your shoulder.

Coco walked you out the front door and closed it behind him.

“If you think that ‘tough bitch’ act is putting him off you’re so wrong.”

You stare at Coco with your eyebrows raised giving him that ‘you should know better’ look before going, “Who is acting?”

“Alright, Y/N.” He just shook his head and decided to let y’all figure it out. No way was he gonna jump in the middle of that. He knew it would resolve itself eventually.

xxxxxxx

The next time you got to see Coco things were an absolute mess. You don’t know exactly what happened but the gang got into a shootout. Coco was injured and your heart was beating against your chest so hard as you raced toward the scrap yard. This was out of your comfortable zone completely, but you needed to see that he was okay. 

Even though on the inside you were freaking out, you tried your best to keep a calm outer appearance as you came face to face with the gang. You went through the basic introductions and then you found yourself crouching in front of a passed out Coco.

“He always said he didn’t really have family so we didn’t know who to contact until Angel told us about you.” The president explained, as you studied the bandages on Coco’s chest. 

You tore your attention from Coco to look at Angel and saw him already looking at you. It was like he was studying you. You gave him a small smile, trying to convey your gratefulness that he contacted you. He just nodded back at you.

“Thank you all for everything you do and did for him.” You looked back at the president, Bishop, and all the other guys.

“He’s our brother.”

“He’s my brother too.” Your gaze went back to Coco, a soft look on your face that made Angel want to just wrap you up in his arms.

Luckily the bullets just grazed Co and nothing vital was hit. You could only sit still for so long before your anxiety got the better of you and you stood up, striding out of the door. You inhaled deeply once you felt the fresh air. 

You would have been so heartbroken if Coco had died. Just the thought made your hands start shaking. You curled them into tight fists and closed your eyes as you focused on slowing your breathing. Your eyes only shot open when you felt someone touch your elbow.

“Hey, you okay?” Angel asked, his eyes soft as he gazed at you so you diverted your eyes.

“I’m fine.” You replied, the sigh you let out in the end betraying your words.

“You want a drink?” He offered and you perked up a little.

“So badly.” You admitted. 

“Come on.”

He led you to the little trailer that was parked on one side of the scrap yard. You wanted to say something smart, but you’d been to his home and knew he didn’t stay here. Plus your heart just wasn’t in it at the moment. He grabbed two beers out of the fridge and opened them before handing you one. You immediately took a big gulp of it.

Angel went to lean back against the fridge and you saw him wince. It dawned on you that he was also in the shootout with Coco. You were so focused on your brother because they said only he was shot, but Angel looked hurt too.

“What happened to you? Don’t tell me you got shot too.” You set the beer down and invaded his personal space. You lifted up his shirt and noticed some bruising there and your head lifted back up quickly to look at him.

“I didn’t get shot. Just got the shit kicked out of me.” Angel explained, staring at you as you fussed over him. 

You let out a loud sigh. “Well you need to be icing it and resting. I can’t have both of y’all fucked up at once.” You murmured, eyes dropping back to his bruises for a moment.

“Are you admitting to actually giving a shit about me now?” Angel inquired and you immediately dropped your grip on his shirt and took a step away from him.

“Don’t start this right now.” You pleaded. It was easy when you two were bantering back and forth, but his face was so serious. You knew the conversation was going to get heavy.

“Don’t start what? So you still want to pretend we don’t know each other? That we didn’t spend nights wrapped around each other for months?” He stepped closer and closer to you as he spoke. “That you didn’t become mi corazón before you took it all away? I’m tired of pretending.”

As he stood directly in front of you, you felt your heart racing. You couldn’t look him in the eyes. You knew if you looked him in the eyes you would fold. He knew as well so his hands caressed your cheeks before bringing your face back up so you would look at him.

“I know you love me and I love you. We should be together right now.” He was beyond frustrated. This game has gone on for too long. He wanted you back.

“Why? For what huh? So in five to ten years you can get yourself killed and leave me a widow? So I can have another person I love ripped away from me? So all I’m left with is bittersweet memories? Nah. Coco is laying on a couch with bullet wounds at this very moment. Fuck that.”

“I never would have taken you for a coward.”

“I’m a coward for wanting to live my life with as little pain as possible? Fuck you, Angel.” Your eyes blazed at his words.

“No you're a coward because you’re scared to face the fact that you love me and want to be with me. I can’t promise nothing bad will ever happen, shit something could happen to you and it would absolutely break me. But I’m willing to take that risk. I promise to make you more than just comfortable. You deserve to feel loved, cherished, appreciated, and fucking happy. I wanna spend the rest of my life making you happy. Don’t you want that?”

Tears filled your eyes and you closed them as some spilled over. 

You weren’t ready to have that conversation with him. Not right now. You wanted to feel good. Your eyes met Angel’s briefly before you were surging up and connecting your lips to his.

His arms slid down your back to attach themselves to your ass, pulling your body against him. You felt every part of him. He wasn’t too muscular, but he was solid. It felt good to be back in his arms. The kiss got more passionate as your tongues tangled with each other. He was a fantastic kisser.

He turned you around and propped you up on the one table in the trailer. Your hands worked his kutte off and you let your fingers run under his shirt and feel his chest again. His kisses ran down your neck and you moaned as he sucked on that spot on your neck. You began unbuckling his belt ready to feel him inside you.

“Eager huh?” He teased, his lips at your ear. You pulled back to look him in the face and stopped what you were doing.

“Oh I’m sorry. Would you like to sit down and talk about our feelings more or would you prefer to feel this pussy wrapped tightly around you?” You asked cockily, one eyebrow raised.

Angel looked at you and smirked. “Continue.” Shit, who was he to turn you down? He never really could. You got his jeans undone and your hand was in his underwear and stroking his dick while kissing his shoulder before he could say anything.

“Ah, shit.” He moaned, as you stroked his dick and felt it harden under your hand. You squeezed it a little just to see if his breath still caught in his throat and you smirked against his neck when you heard the sound.

“Don’t get cocky.” He whispered, rubbing your pussy through your jean shorts. Your hips jumped a little at the contact and you felt your panties getting more wet than they were before. He kept rubbing; the friction of your jeans and panties rubbing perfectly between your pussy lips had you squeezing your thighs closed. 

You leaned your head back to look at him. “You’re gonna ruin my jeans, stop it.”

It was his turn to smirk as he took a small step back, your hand falling off him. “Then let’s take them off.” He peeled your shorts and panties down, spreading your legs so far apart that your right foot slid out of your pants. Your shorts and panties dangled around your left ankle.

“Oh baby, that pussy is still as pretty as ever.” He popped two of his fingers in your mouth, slipping them a little down your throat so he could hear the always beautiful sound of you choking before he stuck those fingers inside of you.

“Fuck..” You groaned, your hand squeezing his arm. 

“And you still feel like Heaven. I gotta feel you around my dick again. That’s what you want right? You want me to fuck that attitude right out of you.” He asked, though it wasn’t really a question. He was just talking. “I know what you need, mami. Always have and always will.” He let his pants fall and in a quick and smooth move he removed his fingers and replaced them with his dick inside of you.

He had both hands squeezing your thighs as he kept your legs apart. He had you open wide for him. Your nails were digging into his arm and your other hand was bracing yourself on the table. There was so much in those thrusts. It was all his feelings in one. He was conveying how mad he was, how much he missed you, and how much he loved you. 

“Angel,” you moaned, head thrown back as you got lost in the feel of him. You couldn’t focus on anything, but him. He still knew exactly how to fuck you and drive you over the edge. Your stomach was in knots as you felt your orgasm building. He could feel it too and he slowed his strokes down to more shallow ones.

“Look at me.” He demanded, and you tilted your head down until you made eye contact with him. “Look at me fucking you. Look at me giving you what you need. I’ll always give you everything. All you have to do is ask. Tell me, mi dulce. Tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you.”

“I-I wanna cum Angel please.” You begged, barely able to get the words out. You knew that he knew he had you right where he wanted you.

He kissed your lips and sped back up his thrusts as the pressure built back up in your stomach. He kept kissing you, his tongue tasting every inch of your mouth as he fucked you. With a shaky hand, you reached down and rubbed your clit to push yourself over the edge.

You moaned into his mouth as he fucked you through your orgasm. As you clenched around him, the tightening of your walls around him helped to trigger his own release. 

Angel tucked his head in your neck and placed kisses there and along your shoulder as you both came down from the high. “Will you let me take you to dinner, mi dulce? Por favor.” He pulled his face from your neck so he could look in your eyes.

You didn’t shy away from his eyes this time. You held his face in your hands as you gazed at each other. His words echoed over and over in your head.

“You deserve to feel loved, cherished, appreciated, and fucking happy. I wanna spend the rest of my life making you happy. Don’t you want that?”

Mind blowing sex and one beautiful love declaration does not fix everything. You still had your reservations about the relationship. You were still scared. You were still worried. You were still unsure. But when you looked into his eyes you saw nothing but his love for you and his certainty. He was so sure it was you for him. You could picture a wedding and children in your future. Maybe even growing old together. Suddenly, you knew you wanted to try.

Don’t you want that?

With all that in mind, the answer was simple:

“Yes.”

#angel reyes #angel reyes x black!reader #hhgbyebruh fics #no letting go #black!reader

[ifuckinglovestvincent]

St Vincent: “Pour a Drink, Smoke a Joint... That’s the Vibe”

Ding dong! Daddy's Home

By Johnny Davis

19/03/2021

Annie Clark, known professionally as St Vincent, picked up a guitar aged 12 after being inspired by Jimi Hendrix. During her teens she worked as a roadie and later tour manager for her aunt and uncle, the jazz duo Tuck & Patti. Originally from Oklahoma, she moved to Dallas, Texas when she was seven and later attended the Berklee College of Music in Boston, Massachusetts for three years, before dropping out.

Clark worked as a touring musician with the Polyphonic Spree and Sufjan Stevens, before releasing Marry Me, her first album as St Vincent, in 2007. By her fifth album, 2017’s Masseduction, she had become one of the most celebrated artists in music, the first solo female artist to win a Grammy Award for Best Alternative Album in 20 years.

She became unlikely Daily Mail-fodder around the same time, thanks to an 18-month relationship with Cara Delevingne, and later Kristen Stewart. Her ever-changing music, dressing up-box image and head-spinning well of ideas have seen her compared to David Bowie, Kate Bush and Prince. To complete the notion of her being the "artist's artist", in 2012 she collaborated with David Byrne on the album Love This Giant.

Indeed, she is surely one of few performers today who could stand in for Kurt Cobain with what’s-left-of-Nirvana, performing “Lithium” at their induction into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in 2014, as well as cover “Controversy” at a Prince tribute concert in 2020, with such guitar-playing fireworks its author would surely have approved.

Following the glam-influenced pop of Masseduction, St Vincent has performed another stylistic handbrake turn. Complete with a new image – part-Warhol Superstar, part-Cassavetes heroine – she has mined the textures of the music she loved most as a kid: the virtuoso rock of Steely Dan, the clipped funk of Stevie Wonder and blue-eyed soul of mid-Seventies' David Bowie, on her upcoming album, Daddy’s Home.

The title refers to Clark's own father, locked up in Texas for 12 years in 2010, for money laundering in a stock manipulation scheme, one in which he and his co-conspirators cheated 17,000 investors out of £35m. It is also, in typical Clark style, a bit of saucy slang.

Back on the promotional trail, Clark Zoomed in from Los Angeles one morning recently – fully caffeinated and raring to go. “My vices?” she pondered. “Too much coffee, man…”

What question are you already bored of being asked?

There’s not one that’s popping out. There’s no question where I’m like “Oh God, if I ever hear that again, I’ll jump off a building.” I’m chill.

I mention it because prior to releasing your last record you put out a pre-recorded “press conference”, seemingly to pre-empt every inane question the media would throw at you.

It’s so funny. It didn’t really occur like that. Originally that was supposed to be a legit green screen conference. Like, “I’ll just answer these questions ‘cos when they need to have me on ‘The Morning Show’ in Belarus they can have this and put their own graphics behind it”. But then when my friend Carrie Brownstein [collaborator and Sleater-Kinney vocalist-guitarist] and I started writing it and it became very snarky. For some reason it didn’t occur to me that “Oh, that might be off-putting or intimidating to journalists” I just thought "This is silly”. So anyway… I understand.

We're curious about your dad and the American legal system.

I have had a lot of questions about that. For some reason it didn’t occur to me how much I would be answering questions about… my hilarious father!

How do you view his time in prison?

Just that life is long and people are complicated. And that, luckily, there’s a chance for redemption or reconciliation, even after a really crazy traumatic time. And also anybody that has any experience with the American justice system will know this... nobody comes out unscathed.

You recently presented an online MasterClass: "St. Vincent Teaches Creativity & Songwriting". One of the takeaways: “All you need are ears and ideas, and you can make anything happen”. Who’s had the best ideas in music?

Well, you’ve got to give credit to people who were genuinely creating a new style – like if you think of Charlie Parker, arguably he created a new style. This hard bop that was just absolutely impossible to play. It was, like, “Check me out – try to copy me!” So, that’s interesting. I think Brian Eno, for sure, has some great ideas about music – and obviously has made some of the best music. Joni Mitchell – completely singular. I mean: think about that. There are some people who are actually inimitable – like, you couldn’t possibly even try to imitate them.

It’s a brave soul who covers a Joni Mitchell song. Although, apologies if you actually have.

No, I have not. And there’s a reason why not. Come on – Bowie. Bowie never repeated himself. David Byrne also didn’t repeat himself. He took all of his influences of classic songs and the disco that was happening at the time, and the potpourri of downtown New York music from the mid- to late Seventies… and synthesised it into this completely new, other thing. I mean, that’s impressive. Those are the ones we remember.

How hard is it not to repeat yourself?

It’s whether people have the Narcissus thing or not. Like, it’s always got to be a balance where you’re, like, “Well, I need to believe in myself to make something and be liberated. But I can’t look at that pond of my previous work and go ‘Oh you! You’re gorgeous!’” So I don’t go back and listen to things I’ve done. I finished Daddy’s Home in the fall and it was, like, “This is done” and it felt great. I loved the record and it was so fun to make. But what I did immediately afterwards was to write something completely different. But then I don’t know, ‘cos there are people who do the thing that they do just great. And you just want to hear more songs, in the style of the thing that they do great.

Right. No one wants an experimental Ramones album.

Exactly. Or, like, or a Tom Petty record. I don’t want a tone poem from Tom Petty! I want a perfectly constructed, perfectly written completely singalongable three-chord song.

The new album has a very “live” Seventies feel. I’d read that some of the tracks are first takes. Can that be right? It all sounds very complicated.

That’s not right. I should say [rock voice] "Yeah, that’s right, we just jammed…" But, you know, I’ll be honest. There are some vocal takes in there that are first takes. But it really is just the sound of people playing. We get good drum takes. And good bass takes. And I play a bunch of guitar and sitar-guitar. And it’s the sound of a moment in time, certainly. And way more about looseness and groove and feel and vibe than anything else [I’ve done before].

Amazing live albums, virtuoso playing, jamming – those were staples of Seventies music. Have we lost some of that?

I mean, I can wax poetic on that idea for a minute. In the Seventies you had this tremendous sophistication in popular music. Stevie Wonder, Steely Dan and funk and soul and jazz and rock…. and all of the things rolled into one. That was tremendously sophisticated. It just was. There was harmony, there were chord progressions.

What else from that decade appealed to you for Daddy’s Home?

It reminds me of where we are now, I think. So, 1971-1976 in downtown New York, you’ve got the Summer of Love thing and flower children and all the hippy stuff and it’s, like, “Oh yeah, that didn’t work out that well. We’re still in Vietnam. There’s a crazy economic crisis, all kinds of social unrest”. People stood in the proverbial burned-out building. And it reminds me a lot of where we are today, in terms of social unrest, economic uncertainty. A groundswell wanting change... but where that’s headed is yet to be seen. We haven’t fully figured that out. We’re all picking up pieces of the rubble and going “Okay, what do we do with this one? Where do we go with that one?” Being a student of history, that was one of the reasons why I was drawn to that period in history.

Also: that’s the music I’ve listened to more than anything in my entire life. I mean, I was probably the youngest Steely Dan fan. It didn’t make me that popular at sleepovers. People were, like, “I want to listen to C+C Music Factory” and I was, like, “Yeah, but have you heard this solo on [Steely Dan’s] ‘Kid Charlemagne’”? That music is so in me. It’s so in my ears and I feel like I never really went there [making music before]. And I didn’t want to be a tourist about it. It’s just that particular style had a whole lot to teach me. So I wanted to just dig in and find out. Just play with it.

Is there a style of music you don’t like?

That I don’t like?

You're a jazz fan...

I love jazz. Are you kidding me? I was that annoying 14-year-old who was, like, “Yeah, but have you listened to Oliver Nelson’s The Blues and the Abstract Truth?”

I love jazz. Are you kidding me? I was that annoying 14-year-old who was, like, “Yeah, but have you listened to Oliver Nelson’s The Blues and the Abstract Truth?”

That does sound quite precocious for a 14-year-old.

It’s annoying. Just insufferable. [Thinking aloud] What music don’t I like….? Here’s what can happen. And I feel like it’s similar to when an actor has some lines in a script and they’re not very good – not very well-written – so they overcompensate by making it very dramatic and really overplaying it. I would say that is a style of music that I don’t really like. Where somebody has to really oversell it and it all feels… athletic. Instead of musical or touching.

Did you put your lockdown time to constructive use?

If you need any mediocre home renovations done, I’m your girl. It was fun. I did – let’s see now – plumbing, electrical, painting. Luckily there’s YouTube, so you can more or less figure it all out. I did a lot of that stuff and I have to say it was such a nice contrast to working on music all day. Because when you’re working on music you have to create the construct of everything. You’re, like, “I need to make this song. But what is this song?” Everything is this kind of elusive castle in the sky thing. But then, if you go and sand a deck, you’ve done something. It feels really good. And it’s not, like, “What is a deck? And who am I?” You’re just, like, “This is a task and I get to do it and I can see how the mechanism works I understand it it’s not esoteric – it’s simply mechanical". I can do something mechanical. I loved it.

Which bit of DIY are you most pleased with?

Painting the kitchen cabinets. That’s a real job. We’re talking sanding. We’re talking taking things off hinges. We’re talking multiple coats. The whole lacquer-y thing at the end. That. I’m, like, “That looks pretty pro”.

What colour did you go for?

Oh, you know, it’s just a sort of… teal. But classy teal.

Of course.

Yeah. The wallpapering wasn’t as successful. But, you know, that’s fine. So that was really fun. And then I also went down a history rabbit hole. I realised I had some gaps in my knowledge about the Russian Revolution and life under the Iron Curtain and the gulags and Stalin and Lenin. So, I went down that hole. And then I was like “Oh I forgot – I haven’t read any Dostoevsky”. So I have been working on his short stories – which are great. And then Solzhenitsyn I really liked – I mean liked is a strange word to use for The Gulag Archipelago. I read Cancer Ward… All of them. I recommend all of it. And then, before that, it was a big Stasi kick. I can’t remember the last time I had time to brush up on the Russian Revolution.

There’s a lyric on “The Laughing Man”, “If life’s a joke… then I’m dying laughing”. It’s also on your new merchandise. What do you think happens when we die?

Nothing.

This is it?

Yeah. I mean, I understand that it would be comforting to think otherwise. That there might be a special place. It would be nice! The thought’s never really been able to stick for me. I would say that we are made of carbon and then we get subsumed back into the Earth and then eventually we become life again – in the carbon part of our makeup.

Well, that sounds better than an endless void.

I don’t think it would be an endless void.

In what ways are you like your mum and dad?

Let’s see. Well, my mother is a precious angel who has unwavering optimism. She is incredibly intelligent and also very nonjudgmental and able and happy to explore all kinds of possibilities. Saying that, though… it’s sounding not like me at all. I’m like my father in that I think we have very similar tastes in books, films, music and a very similar sense of humour. My mother’s so kind that it’s hard for me to… Her level of kindness and decency is aspirational to me.

How famous are you, on a scale of one to 10?

God, I mean, like, “TikTok Famous” probably a one, right? I’m gonna say – I don’t know about the number system – but I’m going to say I-occasionally-get-a-free-appetiser-sent-over famous. Which is a great place to be.

What do you look for in a date?

It’s been so long since I’ve been on a date. You know, I once read something, it might have been something cheesy on a card, but [it was]: if you don’t like someone, then the way they hold their fork will bother you. But, if you like someone – or love someone – they could spill an entire plate of spaghetti on your lap and you wouldn’t mind.

You play a zillion instruments. What’s the hardest instrument to play?

Well, I can’t play horns or anything like that. The French horn is supposed to be really hard. I don’t like to blag… but I’m an incredible whistler. Like, I can whistle Bach.

Is Bach a particularly tough whistle?

I think… yeah. It’s fast. And noodly.

What’s the first thing you’re going to do when we're out of lockdown?

I’m gonna get a manicure and a pedicure and a massage. Massage from a stranger. Any stranger.

What about a night on the tiles?

I will probably attend a dinner party.

That sounds quite restrained.

It sounds hella boring. Sorry.

Clubbing?

No, I don’t really go to clubs. I think in order to go to clubs you have to be a person who likes to publicly dance. And I don’t publicly dance. I mean I would feel too shy to dance at a wedding. But for some reason I will dance on stage in front of 10,000 people.

That’s why alcohol was invented.

Exactly! But I swear I would reach the point of alcohol sickness before I would be drunk enough to dance.

The effects of drugs on creativity: discuss.

Unreliable. Really unreliable. Sometimes after a day’s work in the studio you’re like, "I’m gonna have shot of tequila and then sing this a few more times, and then play". It’s okay but you peak sort-of quickly. You can’t sustain the level without getting tired. And then I would say that weed just makes me paranoid and useless. Every once in a while some combo of psychedelics can get you someplace. But, for the most part, you either come back to [the work] the next day and you’re, like, “This is garbage” or you get sleepy or hungry or distracted and you’re not really doing anything. I’ve never had opiates. Or coke or whatever. So I don’t know. I can’t speak to that. But with the slightly more G-Rated [American movie classification: All Ages Permitted] thing, it doesn’t really help.

What do you have too many of in your wardrobe?

I’m not a hoarder. I tend to have one thing that I get really obsessed with and then I wear it every day. Some people, having a whole lot of things gives them a sense of safety and security. It gives me anxiety. I can’t think if there’s too much visual noise. If there was a uniform that I could wear every day I would absolutely do that. And at certain times I have.

Like Steve Jobs?

Or, oh God, what’s her name? The Theranos lady… Elizabeth Holmes!

The blood-test-scam lady?

Well, I guess it was unclear how much of it was self-delusion and how much of it was, you know, actual fraud.

Another black turtleneck fan.

And – again, this is unconfirmed – she also adopted a very low voice like this in order to be taken seriously as a CEO.

Like Margaret Thatcher.

Did she have a low voice?

She made hers “less shrill”.

Oh yes. Yes!

What movie makes you cry?

The Lives of Others

That’s a good one.

Right. I rewatched that during my Stasi kick.

I’ll be honest, your lockdown sounds even less fun than everyone else’s.

I mean… Look, I had to educate myself. I went to a music college [Berklee College of Music] where I tried to take the philosophy class and the way that they would talk about it… it was taught by this professor who was from one of the neighbouring colleges in Boston. And it was very clear that he really disliked having to talk Kierkegaard to a bunch of music school kids. He was just so bummed by it. I’m trying to learn, “What’s the deal with Kant?” and he felt he had to explain everything only in musical terms [because he assumed it would be the only thing music students could relate to]. Like, “Well, you know, it’s like when Bob Marley…" I’m, like, “No, no, no! I don’t want that!” So I had to educate myself. This is where its led me.

Where should we ideally listen to Daddy’s Home?

Put it on a turntable. Pour yourself a glass of tequila or bourbon – whatever your favourite hooch is – and smoke a joint and listen to it. I think that’s the vibe.

Daddy’s Home is released on May 14

#have u covered Joni mitchell? Annie clarkson: ​‘I have not’ #OKAY MA’AM WHATEVER U SaY MA’am #st vincent #annie clark #interviews #marfa was a dream #Apparently #and that one time she posted her singing jm in the car #also that time at Newport folk festival with doveman #‘maybe that’s her shtick this time around’ #’to be full of shit?’ #’yah’ #that’s hot