#sorry if this posts 3 times i tried it twice on mobile and mobile said not today gurl

[illufinch]

#da boys!! #sorry if this posts 3 times i tried it twice on mobile and mobile said not today gurl #big fluffy cat is cinnamon black cat is tyler #its almost cinnamons bday! he will be 12! #or 13? one of those

[wordsandrobots]

IBO reference notes on … the Gundams (part 1)

[Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Addendum 1]

Or: a spotter’s guide to the Calamity War.

[Note: I tried to post this twice today before figuring out that one of the images was causing it to be consigned to Tumblr oblivion. Apparently a shot of Lt. Crank's gloved hand was too racy for this site. Yeah.]

I said at the time that the fanfic Of Obsessions and Erotemes was written as an alternative to writing an essay expanding on my thoughts regarding the Gundams in Iron-Blooded Orphans. This is probably not strictly accurate, however, and I've been struck by the urge to take a figurative walk through the canonical examples out of the 72 Gundam frame type mobile suits.

I want to focus on the Gundams as they started out during the Calamity War, as far as that is possible, and what this says about the nature of the conflict. I will probably follow up at some point with notes on the mobile armours too, since they are the flip-side of this narrative. As I’ve had cause to mention before, I’m generally content with not knowing too much about the historical event that serves as the basis for IBO’s world-building. I think that adds rather than subtracts from the story. Still, it is fun to play with what we get and piece together an impression of what happened three hundred years prior to the series’ beginning.

For the purposes of not writing a post ten thousand words long, I’ve split the Gundams into three groups based on numerical position in the master list, which is of course taken from the Ars Goetia. Here, I will be drawing on Crowley’s edition.

All images shown here are either borrowed from the Gundam Wiki or are my own screenshots.

As with all my posts like this, spoilers are present for everything.

The Gundam frame

Let’s start with what is under the hood, to whit: the Gundam mobile suit frame.

I covered some of this in my post on the aesthetics of the mobile frame concept, but the most important detail about the Gundam type is how human-like its proportions are, in both limb structure and eye placement. Unlike other frames, this is intended from the start to be used with an Alaya-Vijana system, so designing it to more closely approximate the human form makes a great deal of sense.

At the same time, there is something fittingly demonic about the skeleton, down to the claw-like fingers. However it must be noted that this is specifically Barbatos’ frame; the talons on on the feet are not reflected on the others. Indeed, based on the design work for Kimaris and Flauros, the feet are the part that varies the most from machine to machine.

A Gundam’s power – both in the sense of motive force and superior strength – comes from the twin Ahab reactors making up its torso. It’s the only mobile weapon in Iron-Blooded Orphans confirmed to have multiple reactors, with the implication that this boosts the output beyond simply adding the two together. Indeed, when operating at full capacity against a mobile armour, Barbatos seems barely able to contain its own energies.

Ancillary material states Ahab reactors are made ‘on a plant near a fixed star’, implying a difficult process to begin with (or at least a factory in orbit of the sun). Synchronising the reactors so they run in parallel is adding extra complexity on top of that, which is one of the reasons Gundam construction is a lost art. These things are the peak of mobile suit design and have never been equalled since they quite literally saved the world.

A Gundam, then, is not merely another weapon. It is the maximisation of human capacity, allowing a pilot to exceed their bodily limitations to destroy an inhuman enemy. We don’t know for sure the Calamity War pilots ended up in the same sorry state as Mikazuki (though the taleof Agnika Kaieru’s spirit residing inside Bael carries some interesting implications). But we do know the Alaya-Vijnana places extraordinary pressure on human physiology by its very nature, and the Gundams themselves come with competing limiters as a result. One that disengages in proximity to a mobile armour, allowing the full force of the reactors to be unleashed; another that switches on at that point, to stop this burst of power immediately overwhelming the operator. Only by accepting the danger can the pilot proceed with their attack.

It’s a duality of ultimate strength and ultimate risk that makes the Gundam frames seem like suitably desperate creations. They are the demons that prevented total apocalypse, while consuming their pilots body and soul.

ASW-G-01 Bael

The first king of the Hell, and therefore presumably the first Gundam to have been constructed. From latter machines, there is the suggestion that deployment order did not match the numerical codes, so it isn’t entirely clear if we can solidly say they are numbered in the order they were built. But it seems reasonable to assume that this represents the start of Gundam operational history.

If we can take Bael to exist in the present exactly as it did in the War, it is a relatively simple affair, sporting nothing more flashy than a pair of wing-like boosters (I say wing-like purely because they are not functionally wings; they’re more an elaborate jet-pack). From a design point of view, Bael otherwise matches exactly to the template set by the series’ hero machine, Barbatos: the armour and thruster placement is identical and we may take this to be the default.

The combat philosophy behind this machine appears to be the same too: strike fast and strike sharp. It follows that Agnika Kaieru was the kind to lead from the front. Indeed, kit manual text makes it clear he was self-sufficient in battle, taking down mobile armours solely with his twin swords. Given McGillis holds his own against an entire fleet for a while, this doesn’t feel like a stretch and it certainly explains why the man became such a legend.

The symbol on Bael’s left shoulder is the original Gjallarhorn logo, which more directly presents the source of the organisation’s name: the horn that sounds Ragnarök. This would later be elaborated into the flag used in the present while remaining as a some sort of badge/pin or medal on officers’ uniforms. I find that fitting, that something simple would be built up over time into a grander image, disguising the root truth. In many ways, that sums up Bael’s place in history.

From the Ars Goetia:

The first Principal Spirit is a King ruling in the East, called Bael. He maketh thee to go Invisible. He ruleth over 66 Legions of Infernal Spirits. He appeareth in divers shapes, sometimes like a Cat, sometimes like a Toad, and sometimes like a Man, and sometimes all these forms at once. He speaketh hoarsely. This is his character which is used to be worn as a Lamen before him who calleth him forth, or else he will not do thee homage.

Notably, the sigil used for Gundam Bael’s interface does not simply replicate the 'canonical’ seal from the Ars Goetia but rather reinterprets it.

Clearly OG Gjallarhorn had graphic designers on staff. Also, Bael’s main console screen is of a uniquely narrow design, in a rather elaborate housing. It would seem the cockpits were refined for later models, simplifying things towards a standard pattern seen in Kimaris and Gusion that would itself go on to become the standard for Gjallarhorn 'suits.

ASW-G-04 Gamigin

Pretty much all we know about Gamigin is that it exists, it was originally piloted by Kalf Falk and it made it out of the Calamity War in one piece. Oh and someone in the armoury department was having a laugh the day they issued this Gundam its weapons.

Seriously though, if Bael is the default, this is a heavy-duty model. Gamigin looks a hell of a lot less manoeuvrable, even accounting for the extra thrusters built into its skirt, and its standard-sized arms appear positively weedy compared to the heft of the body and legs. Clearly though, that was a trade-off deemed acceptable for the sake of destructive capacity.

The giant Gatling gun speaks for itself, but the revolver axe is the more interesting item here. As silly as it looks, it’s represents the (presumed) earliest incorporation of Dàinsleif weaponry into a Gundam frame mobile suit.

'Dàinsleif’ is a term used to refer to anything that launches javelin-like projectiles at high speed with the intent of puncturing nano-laminate armour. It’s unclear if the present ban on their use extends to smaller-scale versions like this, which is a point-blank deployment of the technology.

The blunt side of that axe is designed to strike an enemy and fire a spike straight through it. Crude but effective. Or so we can assume given this machine was piloted by one of the first Seven Stars and therefore must have destroyed a great many mobile armours.

From the Ars Goetia (Samigina/Gamigin):

The Fourth Spirit is Samigina, a Great Marquis. He appeareth in the form of a little Horse or Ass, and then into Human shape doth he change himself at the Request of the Master. He speaketh with a hoarse voice. He ruleth over 30 Legions of Inferiors. He teaches all Liberal Sciences, and giveth account of Dead Souls that died in sin. And his Seal is this, which is to be worn before the Magician when he is Invocator, etc.

This is one of several demons with multiple names listed in the Ars Goetia. There doesn’t appear to be any pattern to which was picked as the ID for the corresponding Gundam.

ASW-G-08 Barbatos

Teiwaz are stated to have restored Barbatos to its original state so we can assume the 4th form represents the version that fought in the Calamity War. Given this, it likely used a katana in battle, as the sword Teiwaz provides bears the same logo as the 'suit and we know from their work on Flauros that Gundams store information about their own weaponry (see also Mikazuki’s sudden competence with it when he connects deeper to Barbatos).

Intriguingly, with the retroactive introduction of predecessor designs, it appears Barbatos takes cues from both Bael and Gamigin, which ties these three low-numbered models together nicely. It is also relatively unspecialised in comparison, lacking the features that mark out the previous two. When found, it had a small buckler shield built into a gauntlet on its left forearm, similar to those the 5th form in the series would use. However, there’s no indication if this was used as a mount for mortars like the later version, leaving us with a machine that appears to have been a simple melee combatant.

The absence of gimmicks showcases just how powerful Gundams are in comparison to other mobile suits, at a baseline. In any given fight during Season 1, Barbatos is faster, stronger, and more adaptable than its opposition, and while we see it built up with add-ons over the course of the series, those often seem to get in the way or provide only passing advantages.

Since my focus is on the Calamity War, I’m not going to go into any detail regarding the Lupus and Lupus Rex forms. But I will posit the idea Barbatos’ original pilot was of a different temperament to Mikazuki. If it is indeed their 'ghost’ who comes to his aid in Edmonton – some trace left behind in the system that allows him to understand the katana in the nick of time – they seem to have been a master of that weapon, favouring lethal precision, in stark contrast to Mikazuki’s gradual transformation into an animalistic, living weapon.

(The mace that Mikazuki leads with seems to have been something Maruba bought for possible use if he could ever get Barbatos running, rather than a relic of it previous operations.)

From the Ars Goetia:

The Eighth Spirit is Barbatos. He is a Great Duke, and appeareth when the Sun is in Sagittary, with four noble Kings and their companies of great troops. He giveth understanding of the singing of Birds, and of the Voices of other creatures, such as the barking of Dogs. He breaketh the Hidden Treasures open that have been laid by the Enchantments of Magicians. He is of the Order of Virtues, of which some part he retaineth still; and he knoweth all things Past, and to Come, and conciliateth Friends and those that be in Power. He ruleth over 30 Legions of Spirits. His Seal of Obedience is this, the which wear before thee as aforesaid.

Again, we see a redesign of the seal for Gundam Barbatos’ start-up sigil.

I like the choice to make the lines more dynamic.

ASW-G-11 Gusion

We don’t know if this is what Gusion started out looking like. Gusion was found in a debris zone and passed through various hands before it reached the Brewers, and we know the Brewers’ Man Rodis are custom jobs, more heavily armoured than standard Rodi frame models. On balance, this is probably something they cooked up to fit their requirements.

But gives us an idea of the limits of a Gundam frame’s flexibility. The arms and legs have been stretched outwards from the main body to accommodate the armour load-out. You can see a glimpse of the piston that operates the hip joint under the skirt in the image above, providing a sense of where the legs have been moved. Quite how this works is unclear since we only see the head exposed when the Turbines start deconstructing this form. The fact it does work emphasises just how far the Gundams can be reconfigured. The Turbines even go so far as installing extra arms into the Rebake version given to Akihiro, seemingly with no issues at all.

Gusion also provides an example of the fate suffered by quite a number of the Gundam frames: that of being lost and forgotten after battles during the Calamity War. The figure provided for how many frames are known to have survived is 26, but it’s unclear where that sits in the timeline of IBO canon, throughout which several Gundams are uncovered from previously hidden resting places. Certainly it appears only a minority of such 'suits remain in Gjallarhorn’s custody. While some have most likely been destroyed outright, many may still be drifting among debris fields or buried at the sites of battles from three hundred years ago.

It’s a neat conceit, leaving fertile ground for fanfiction or spin-offs to play on, and underscores that these machines belong to a bygone era most have forgotten about.

From the Ars Goetia:

The Eleventh Spirit in order is a great and strong Duke, called Gusion. He appeareth like a Xenopilus. He telleth all things, Past, Present and to Come, and showeth the meaning and resolution of all questions thou mayest ask. He conciliateth and reconcileth friendships, and giveth Honour and Dignity unto any. He ruleth over 40 Legions of Spirits. His Seal is this, the which wear as aforesaid.

The connection between the machine or pilot and the Ars Goetia descriptions is somewhat variable throughout this list. In some instances there’s nothing obvious at all. However, I love that Gusion bestows honour and dignity because of how beautifully it ties into Akihiro’s arc. This said … I don’t actually know what a 'Xenopilus’ is. My first thought was 'Xenopus’ and a frog motif certainly would explain Gundam Gusion’s appearance. But I don’t think that’s right? Answers on a postcard, please.

That’s where we’ll leave things for today. I will probably post the next instalment sometime tomorrow.

Other reference posts include:

IBO reference notes on … Gjallarhorn (Part 1)

IBO reference notes on … Gjallarhorn (Part 2)

IBO reference notes on … Gjallarhorn (corrigendum) [mainly covering my inability to recognise mythical wolves]

IBO reference notes on … three key Yamagi scenes

IBO reference notes on … three key Shino scenes

IBO reference notes on … three key Eugene scenes

IBO reference notes on … three key Ride scenes

IBO reference notes on … the tone of the setting

IBO reference notes on … character parallels and counterpoints

IBO reference notes on … a perfect villain

IBO reference notes on … Iron-Blooded Orphans: Gekko

IBO reference notes on … an act of unspeakable cruelty

IBO reference notes on … original(ish) characters [this one is mainly fanfic]

IBO reference notes on … Kudelia’s decisions

IBO reference notes on … assorted head-canons

IBO reference notes on … actual, proper original characters [explicit fanfic – as in, actually fanfic. None of them have turned up in the smut yet]

IBO reference notes on … the aesthetics of the mobile frame

IBO reference notes on … mobile suit designations

#gundam #gundam iron blooded orphans #gundam ibo #tekketsu no orphans #g tekketsu #gundams #gundam frames #reference #notes #ars goetia

[goosetrainer]

Mari's Last Minute Tera Raid Guide #4 - Delphox

HI I'm back and this time it's not even that last minute!

Ngl this Delphox would probably be 300% easier if you used a flash fire Heatran, but not everyone has access to other games/people who will trust them with legendaries so I'm keeping this post common-pokémon friendly.

The best non-transfer solo here is Armarouge, with Ceruledge coming in a close second. This means that violet players with no access to internet/scarlet playing friends are at a disadvantage, but it's not impossible! You just have less wiggle room and need more tera shards(/sheer luck in tera raids).

That said, ANNOUNCEMENT:

now that scarvio have Home compatibility, I can let people temporarily borrow my own pokémon. I have a steel tera Armarouge you can use to defeat your Delphox, the only thing I ask for is that you keep it just the time strictly necessary for the fight, then return it. Just in case someone else needs it. (Home software on Switch and Home app on mobile necessary - sorry I still won't pay Nintendo for the privilege of using my own internet)

It's common knowledge that axes are super effective against mages :3c hehe

Foreword, since there are effectively 3 builds, let me give you a summary of Delphox's moves so that I don't have to repeat myself. She'll steal your tera charge every x turns starting from turn 4 (this is important for Ceruledge). She has an early, fairly long shield (appears either after you got her life down a bit, or after 2-3 turns); she wipes her own stat changes towards the middle of the shield and then never again; uses Nasty Plot once around the same time (I don't think on the same turn, I've seen it happen 2 turns after her stat wipe); right after her shield is broken, wipes your own stat changes and uses Magic Room, just once. After the Nasty Plot she may act twice in some turns.

She's got a timid nature (268 speed) and high special attack and special defense, offensive moves are only special. Her Will-O-Wisp and Fire Blast are effectively useless because of the following options having Flash Fire (which should be neutralized at the end of the shield but for some reason the AI never made her use her fire moves in that turns, when I went? Meh), Dazzling Gleam is by far her least dangerous move, with Psychic being the more dangerous one, because of the chance of lowering your special defense.

Magic Room renders held items useless for 5 turns, but by the time it happens you should be ready to kill in 3. Just be mindful of the Shell Bell healing not working.

NPC allies don't do much, the best you can hope for are probably the ones that can paralyze her (dudunsparce, umbreon... bellibolt I think?).

Delphox's hidden ability does not work in raids, so treat it as if it didn't exist :3

-----

Armarouge lv.100

Tera Type: Steel (preferred) or Fire (cheaper)

Ability: Flash Fire

Nature: Modest/Mild (Quiet could work too if you don't wanna waste a mint)

Held Item: Shell Bell

IVs: max in HP, sp. atk., sp. def., maybe speed

EVs: 252 sp. atk., 252 sp. def., 4 HP

Moveset:

-Calm Mind (level up)

-Mystical Fire (move reminder)

-Acid Spray (TM)

-Flash Cannon (TM) (only with steel tera type) OR Flamethrower (level up) (only with fire tera type)

Usage:

Two options here because tera shards are hard to find, if you don't already have enough. Steel tera works better both offensively (super effective stab) and defensively (with Flash Fire, terastallized Armarouge resists the fairy and psychic moves, and is immune to the fire ones). Fire type is just easier to find, any Charcadet you meet in the wild will have that. I would have kept that one if I hadn't caught a steel one in the event, some time ago (don't worry I still tried a fire one without saving, just to be sure it's doable). A bit more difficult because you lose some fire power (heh) and the psychic resistance, but it worked. Strategy: Calm Mind x6, some random offensive moves until Delphox nullifies her stat debuffs, then you can use one or two Mystical Fires to make her special attack drop before the Nasty Plot, so she ends up neutral at best (optional for steel tera, recommended for fire tera - because of Psychic, and especially if she already debuffed your sp. def. once or twice), then 3x Acid Spray, then Flamethrower or Flash Cannon. Important: make sure you use the 1-2 Mystical Fires and all 3 Acid Sprays AFTER she nullifies her own stat changes, or you'll have to reapply them. Use Y to check her status if you lost count, she should have at least the 6 red downward arrows on special defense before you break her shield. Also important: on terastallizing. You can terastallize as soon as it's available if your Armarouge is a steel tera, but if it's a fire tera wait until after you're done debuffing her (making it a pure fire type will make it lose its innate psychic resistance, exposing it to more frequent Psychic the move, which will hit harder). ONLY after you're done setting up and terastallizing, break the shield with Flamethrower/Flash Cannon (or Mystical Fire if you're scared), watch her wipe all your Calm Mind boosts :') but don't bother reapplying those since her weakened special defense should still be there. You won't be able to heal now, so focus on spamming your Flamethrower/Flash Cannon until the end. Flash Cannon kills in 1-3 turns depending on randomness, Flamethrower takes a bit more. A fire tera Armarouge may benefit from using Mystical Fire in the first turns just to make sure it doesn't die, but Flamethrower hits harder - just make your calculations based on how your defenses are looking. You COULD go KO once while still having enough time to win, actually it's better for the fire tera (you get your psychic resist back!). Worst case scenario you try again~

TL;DR: Calm Mind x6, random attacks until enemy's stat wipe, then:

-fire tera: 1-2 Mystical Fires for survivability, Acid Spray x3, terastallize, Flamethrower until broken shield, then Flamethrower or Mystical Fire until death. May die once, don't worry, keep attacking.

-steel tera: (Mystical Fire optional) Acid Spray x3, terastallize as soon as you can, then Flash Cannon till the end.

PROS:

-somewhat common pokémon (appears mostly in set locations)

-can use the default tera type

-only one regular ability so you can't get it wrong (unless you caught it in a tera den and got the hidden one)

-innately resists the entire moveset of the opponent and has options to improve own survivability

CONS:

-functionally Scarlet exclusive

-no healing at all during Magic Room :(

(Hard to tell, but the Armarouge on the right is a once-dead fire tera)

-----

Ceruledge lv.100

Tera Type: Steel (this time it's mandatory! I tried with Fire but I kept dying)

Ability: Flash Fire

Nature: Adamant/Lonely (I wanna say Brave too but speed actually helps a bit here. I wouldn't risk it)

Held Item: Shell Bell

IVs: max in HP, atk., sp. def., speed

EVs: 252 atk., 252 sp. def., 4 HP

Moveset:

-Swords Dance (level up)

-Bitter Blade (level up)

-Clear Smog (level up)

-Iron Head (TM)

Usage:

SO. I had to tinker with this one a bit and it lowkey sucks when compared to its redder cousin, did it just out of love for the violet peeps. You deserve good things too Ceruledge has a couple of big drawbacks against this particular opponent: no way to boost its own special defense at all, and no psychic resistance. Bitter Blade's healing kind of offsets these, but the fact that the only move it doesn't resist at the start of the battle is Psychic means that Delphox will keep using THAT, dealing quite some damage AND almost certainly lowering Ceruledge's special defense at least once. For this reason, your number one priority is TERASTALLIZE INTO STEEL ASAP You have no choice but use 3 offensive moves in the first 3 turns. If you wste just one turn you're getting your tera charge stolen and need to use one more turn to recharge while you get mercilessly Psychiced and probably die. At least 2 of the starting moves will probably need to be Bitter Blades, to keep your health up and out of KO zone. Better do that before the shield goes up, as it'll make your recovery worse. When you're safe behind your newly acquired steel-with-fire-immunity type, you can take a breath and set up your attack with 3 Swords Dances - watch your HP, especially if you saw your special defense drop, use a Bitter Blade to heal in between the Swords Dancing if necessary. You don't have stat-lowering moves so the opponents mid-shield wipe doesn't affect you, but keep an eye on it nonetheless because shortly after that she'll use Nasty Plot and that does affect you - if your health is low use Bitter Blade to heal and then Clear Smog, if not do Clear Smog right away. When you're not healing or keeping that fox's special attack at bay, and after you've used your 3 Swords Dance, use Iron Head to break the shield. Once the shield is broken you're: -back at square one with your attack boosts -technically with no Shell Bell. This is where you alternate Swords Dance and Bitter Blade and Iron Head - 2 Swords Dances in total should be enough, Bitter Blade to heal if needed, Iron Head when your attack is at least at 4+ (4 green upwards arrows on the status menu, equivalent to 2 Swords Dances) and not in immediate KO danger. Remember that Iron Head won't heal you at this point. You have the option to use Hang Tough cheers to help with the defenses I guess - but never before you terastallized, don't waste time. Also in my limited experience focusing on Swords Dance is better, more attack means more absorbed HP with Bitter Blade.

TL;DR: 3x offensive moves (Bitter Blade preferred) right away, terastallize ASAP, 3x Swords Dance with Bitter Blade in the middle to keep HP up, Clear Smog ASAP after Delphox's Nasty Plot, Iron Head when safe until shield broken. Then max 2x Sword Dance with Bitter Blades to heal when necessary, again Iron Head(s) when safe. Be aware of the possibility of having to try again if you get your special defense lowered too much.

PROS:

-somewhat common pokémon (appears mostly in set locations)

-only one regular ability so you can't get it wrong (unless you caught it in a tera den and got the hidden one)

-innately resists fairy and fire

-actually has a recovery option during Magic Room

-fast attack boosting

CONS:

-special defense can only go down :(

-no psychic resist until terastallized

-non-default tera type needed

-attack boosts needs to be reapplied

-functionally Violet exclusive

#pokemon #pkmn #tera raids #guides #gen 9 #pokemon scarlet violet #pokemon sv #delphox #it seems counterintuitive that ceruledge is worse since it hits the enemy's lower defense but holy hell was it a chore to keep it alive #reminder that the event returns July 14-16th - or you can still do it if you didn't connect to the internet after getting it last time #ah ps steel armarouge and ceruledge can also use tera blast in place of flash cannon and iron head #but iron head has an extra chance of making the opponent flinch so I'd prefer that one.

[lubdubsworld]

Better Man. ( Taehyung x OC)

Chapter 1    Chapter 2

Rated 18 +

Post Divorce, Getting Back Together, Second chances, Angst.

Chapter 3 ~ The problem with marriage is this  : it isn’t worth the pain of divorce. 

Denial isn’t healthy.

 But sometimes it helps you stay sane , at least long enough to get your act together. When you’re in denial, you kind of keep yourself together a bit. You process things a bit more slowly. Take your time examining the facts. 

It helps you make a delayed but possibly more informed decision.

 Impulsive decisions never end well.

 So it’s good to stew in denial for a while ( a short while) and then slowly begin processing what happened, think about it, think how its gonna affect you and then make a choice. 

Unfortunately for Taehyung and I... I wasn’t in denial. 

Maybe I should have been.

 The time between Taehyung turning up drunk and the me leaving the house was less than twelve hours. Taehyung showed up drunk and I just told him I was leaving. That we needed a break and I didn’t know when I’d be back. 

Terrible choice.

 In the first twelve hours, the hurt is so potent and strong , the wound so raw and fresh that you can’t think beyond the pain . Your instinct is to repay the pain, to retaliate and make the other party feel exactly what you’re feeling. So you think of the thing that would hurt them the most and you go ahead and do it. 

Like move out of your shared home of eight years, take away the son he adored and possibly rip the ground right out from under his feet. 

And then after the first twelve hours, reason begins to catch up. 

I had wanted to go back. 

I had wanted to go back to him but I was scared. 

Scared that I was being weak.

 That if I didn’t stick to the choice I made, Taehyung would forever see me as a pushover. That he would take it as some sick permission to do it all over again. That he’d just think I was too weak to walk out on him. 

And i couldn’t have that. I couldn’t have him hurting me and not facing the consequences of it. I just couldn’t.

So I stayed away. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I worked on the seventh floor of a high rise in Gangnam, probably a twenty minute drive from Taehyung’s agency. It was an electronic/ tech company that dealt with everything from mobile phones to home fittings . As the  assistant director of Marketing I dealt with branding and keeping up the image of the company. Annual budgets, endorsements, campaigns and what not. 

I was good at it and i enjoyed it . everyone agreed that i did a good job because the numbers spoke for themselves. But I think the main reason I got the job was because I was married to the biggest brand ambassador in the country. 

“ I need the reports on consumer trends for this month and I want to meet with Social media team before lunch. There’s a drop in our web traffic and that needs to be fixed.” I told my assistant, accepting the hot coffee and muffin that he held in his hand before moving to the corner office, my strides faltering just a bit when i noticed that  someone  was already inside. The figure had his back to me but I could vaguely recognize the broad shoulders and muscular arms. 

“Mr. Jeon’s been waiting for about ten minutes now.” Mingyu said with a smile and I nodded. 

“That’s fine , I’ll handle him.” I waved my assistant off and moved to the  door, unlocking it and stepping in. 

“Morning, Jang Mi.” He smiled, eyes flashing with ill concealed delight and I inhaled to calm myself down. . 

I could already feel a headache coming on. 

“Jungkook.” I said curtly. “ To what do I owe this very early visit?”  I glanced at my table finally taking the bottle of champagne in the small ice bucket. 

“Thought we’d celebrate you finally being free.” He grinned. 

Jeon Jungkook was handsome, intelligent , and annoyingly good at everything he did.

At 34,  He was one of the youngest CFO’s in the industry, and everything he touched turned to gold. I didn’t report to him and he had zero reasons to be in my office at any given time. But , unfortunately he had never gotten that particular memo. 

“I’m not in the mood, Jungkook.” I sighed, moving to the back of my desk and dropping my bag on the small ottoman on the side and my keys in the desk. I plugged my phone into the cable on the side and then went to open the blinds. 

“Come on... You know how sick I’ve been of two years of  hearing ‘ I’m sorry, I’m married.’ .... you’re gonna have to come up with  a better excuse the next time i ask you out.” 

“No. No is a whole entire sentence that you should be able to accept.” I said evenly, fixing the cushions on the couch only to have him plop down on them immediately after. 

“One date. Dinner anywhere you like. i can fly you to Paris if you want.... Macua? Jeju Do? Tell me what you want and I’ll get it done. ?” 

i stared at him. 

“I want you to fire Kang Yeseul from the Social Media team.” I said with a shrug. 

He frowned. 

“The new girl? Why?” 

“She’s been posting nudes that she took in my office when I was on leave last week. My name plate is literally visible.”

“Jesus fuck...these bitches get dumber by the minute.”

I couldn’t even deny it.

“I’ll take care of it.” He said swiftly. “ Anything else?”

“Web traffics gone down and I’m gonna find out why. It’s probably time for us to work out the budget for the Christmas Carnival. I think we should go for something new this time. If you can set up a meeting with all the department heads we can brainstorm a few ideas...” 

“I can’t forget about that night.” 

I froze. 

God. 

i turned around to stare at him as he lounged on the couch. If Kim Taehyung was the most handsome man I’d ever seen, Jungkook was definitely the second.

 He was disconcertingly good looking and where Taehyung’s image was always the clean cut gentleman with the perfect character, Jungkook had a reputation as a bit of a delinquent. Simply because he had a penchant for leather jackets and liked to ride around Seoul on his motorbike on days off. 

Which was ironical because in truth, Taehyung was far from a saint and Jungkook was relatively more put together 

He was also a divorcee and a single parent. His daughter Jennie was easily the cutest two year old on the planet.

His wife and him had fifty fifty custody but she had cheated on him with his best friend. Jungkook had no patience for her. They had a very volatile relationship but he was fighting for full custody and rumor was that he would most certainly be granted it, soon. 

A marathon runner ,  he didn’t drink or smoke.  

Jungkook liked to paint and volunteered at an animal shelter once or twice a month because he loved dogs but couldn’t keep one because of his busy schedule. 

So all in all , a pretty solid candidate if I was looking for a guy. 

Honestly, if it weren’t for the fact that I was completely and utterly done with relationships for the rest of my life, I would actually give the guy a chance. 

But , it is what it is. 

“That sounds like a  you  problem. “ I shrugged. “ It was supposed to be  one  night  with no strings attached. And by string I meant awkward conversations three months later .” 

Jungkook groaned and sat up straighter, legs spread and shirt sleeves riding up to show a very sparkly watch. Rich men and their vices. I smirked a little. 

“Come on... its just dinner. I want to get to know you, that’s it.” he held his hands up. 

“There’s nothing to know Jungkook. I’m actually more boring than i appear, which is saying something. I’m not going to be the girl in the leather jacket clinging to your waist when you’re joyriding that motorbike of yours through Seoul. That’s not me. I would hate something that” 

He chuckled. 

“Are you sure? You ever tried it?”

I stared at him in disbelief.

“That’s not the point.”

“I’ll buy you a jacket. Join me this weekend. We’ll go a ride. Then you can make a decision.” 

I opened my mouth to argue when the phone rang. I grabbed it quickly.

“Hello?” 

“This is Lee Taemin from the Advertising Department.”

“Yes?”

“We have a Mr. Jung from HYBE on the phone. They want to talk to us about a possible candidate for our Christmas Campaign.... “

I blinked, surprised. 

“We haven’t even decided on a theme yet. “

Choosing the right actors to endorse stuff was usually the last step. 

“I know but he’s saying they want to talk about Mr. Kim Taehyung as a possible candidate?”

I felt my entire jaw come unhinged. 

I turned to Jungkook stunned. His eyes widened at the look on my face and he mouthed a ‘ What’ 

“Please tell him I’ll call him back in fifteen minutes.” I said quickly.

“What’s wrong?” Jungkook demanded. 

“Taehyung’s manager...he... he wants to make him the face of the Christmas Campaign.” I said dully, mind ringing. I was utterly stupefied. 

Taehyung was the face of Gucci and Versace . He was so far out of our company’s league it wasn’t even funny. 

Jungkook stared at me in disbelief.

“No.” He said quickly.

I gaped at him.

“What?” 

“No... we can’t have that. He’s.. he’s obviously doing this to get back with you...”

I shook my head.

“that can’t be it. He’s the one who gave me a divorce. He’s the one who wanted to end it. “ 

It was the shock of what I’d heard. There was no other explanation for why I said that to Jeon Jungkook. 

Jungkook gave me a look.

“Really? But you wanted one too right?”

“Of course I did.” I lied easily, waving him off. “Anyway that doesn’t matter. We can’t say no to him, Jungkook. Our sales would skyrocket if we get him onboard.” 

Jungkook swore.

“Fuck, you’re right. The Ceo will probably piss himself in excitement. You sure you’ll be okay with it?”

Jungkook looked worried. 

“You forget that Taehyung and I are actually quite good friends.” I said gently. 

He grimaced.

“That's just unnatural. If you can stay friends with an ex it clearly means that either you’re still in love with each other or....”He shrugged. 

“Or what?” 

“Or you never loved each other in the first place.” 

I swallowed the remark hitting a little too close to home for comfort. 

“Schedule that meeting Jungkook. We’ll come up with a campaign theme that would fit Taehyung’s image. I’ll take to Hoseok and Taehyung.” 

“You’re going to call Taehyung?” Jungkook asked casually.

“Hoshi’s with him today. I’ll probably go over to his place after work and talk to him in person.” 

“Lucky bastard. He gets to hurt you and yet  still have you.” Jungkook said bitterly. 

I rolled my eyes.

“He doesn’t have me.”

“Doesn’t he? Why else would you turn down dates with anyone who asks? its one date.. a dinner... If you’re not still hung up on your ex husband why wouldn’t     you just go on one date with-”

I’d really had quite enough of it. I threw my hands up in sheer exasperation. 

“Alright fine.” I yelled, “  I’ll go to dinner with you...can you just stop psycho analyzing my relationship with my husband?” 

Jungkook’s smile told me that I’d been played like a fiddle. 

“excellent. Go see your husband after work and I’ll come pick you up at eight.” 

“What...no wait...”

“I know where he lives. Don’t worry about it. I’ll schedule that meeting and maybe after lunch we can go over the kind of budget you’ll want. Okay?”

I felt a little like I’d stepped into quagmire. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I didn’t go see Taehyung after work. 

I didn’t have to. 

An hour before I was due to finish my daily report, he turned up at the office with my son. My assistant let him in and I could only gape at him.

“What are you guys doing here?” I asked , completely thrown. 

“Mama I had ice cream with strawberries and sprinkles in a hundred colors.” Hoshi looked excited, eyes shining the way they usually did when he was with Taehyung. 

“That sound incredibly exciting....”

“We missed you mama....can we go again?” He said excitedly.

“I’m sorry honey, Mama’s a little caught up with work...”

“Why don’t we wait?” Taehyung said cheerfully, “ Mama likes blueberry scones so we can get those for her...” 

I stared at him.

“Okay...” I sad carefully, staring him down. What was he doing really?

“Okay... Can I go see the fishies....” Hoshi waved at the large fish tank built into the wall in my office and Taehyung laughed, letting him down.

“Sure bud.. go see how many of the fish you can identify...” He said brightly. 

“ Since when do you pick me up for blueberry scones after work?” I asked briskly and he shrugged.

“Let the kid be happy , Mia. I heard Hobi hyung already spoke to you.”

“What is that all about, Tae?” I said tiredly. 

“All the other offers i got are out of Korea. I want to stay with Hoshi during the Holidays so i thought this way , we could spend some time together..”

“By we, I hope you mean you and Hoshi.” I said drily.

“Of course. I could’ve picked another mall or something but i thought it could be a good thing if we worked at the same place... we can keep Hoshi with us and there wont be all the commuting back and forth nonsense....” 

I nodded. 

“I suppose you’re right. “ I sighed. “But be warned, you’re probably not going to have a very exciting time. 

“I’ll enjoy it nonetheless.” 

I nodded. 

“I won’t tell you how to live your life And I most certainly won’t look a gift horse in the mouth. My Ceo might just give me a huge pay raise for this. He’s been waiting for it since the time he hired me.”

Taehyung gave me a smile.

“I would have done it the minute you asked. You never asked.” 

I shrugged. 

“Like I said, I won’t tell you how to live your life.” 

“Jang Mi?” The knock on the door made us both look up.

Jungkook stood framed in the doorway, jacket off and slung over his arms . He looked bigger than usual, muscles straining against his button down and hair mussed. 

He stepped in casually, holding a hand out to Taehyung.

“The golden boy of Korea. in the flesh. A pleasure to meet you Mr. Kim. I’m Jungkook. Jeon Jungkook” 

The pair of them shook hands and I felt that I would rather be anywhere in the world than there. 

“ Nice to meet you Mr. Jeon.” Taehyung smiled politely. 

“We still on for tonight?” Jungkook asked casually, turning to me with a bright smile. 

This is why i hated men. 

Taehyung’s eyes snapped to me so fast that i was sure he must’ve got whiplash. 

“Sure. I’ll call you.” I said shortly. 

“What’s tonight?” Taehyung smiled, face neutral and smile still in place but his eyes flashed and his voice carried a knife edge to it. 

“Business dinner. We’re going over the budget for the Christmas campaign.” 

“Oh... where?” Taehyung asked with the same smile and I frowned.

“We’ve not decid-”

“I thought I could cook for you. i make a mean steak dinner and I thought I could pick up a bottle of your favorite wine on the way. You have my address right? ” Jungkook smiled. 

Taehyung went still next to me, his entire body taut . 

“A little inappropriate for a business dinner, don’t you think?” he snapped.

Jungkook glared back at him, eyes narrowed. 

“Well, you know what they say about all work and no play-” he began but I’d had enough. 

“I think this conversation needs to end now.” I said loudly. 

They  both shut up but glared at each other.

“I’m gonna make a reservation at the Hyatt for tonight. I’ll meet you there at seven thirty. “ I said, glaring at Jungkook. 

He nodded.

“Pleasure meeting you Kim Taehyung.” He nodded curtly at my ex husband before moving away. 

The silence he left behind was pretty awkward. 

“Bit too much of a douchebag than your usual type.” Taehyung said casually. 

I groaned.

“Don’t start.” 

“ I won’t if you don’t date him.” 

I opened my mouth to argue but then stopped. 

“Lets just get that ice cream ? “ I said tiredly. Hoshi reappeared from the inside room, looking excited and happy and I smiled despite my weariness. 

I could use a little sweetness in my life after a bitterly exhausting day. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s note : Feedback is welcome . Probably going to be a long , terribly angsty fic with a lot of pain for everyone involved. I still haven’t decided who ocs going to end up with so we’ll see... what do you guys think? 

#taehyung smut #taehyung fanfic #taehyung fics #bts smut #bts fic #bts fanfic

[unforth]

So, English-Speaking Danmei Fandom... (Part 2!)

...you saw my post yesterday and you’re like, “okay, I made a JJWXC account and now I know how much the thing I want to support costs, how do I do the actual money thing?”

Here, I’m figuring it out right now, let’s do it together. I AM STILL RELYING ON THE GUIDE BY SHOKO TRANSLATES. YOU SHOULD USE IT TOO. I have only the most basic idea wtf I’m talking about, and I only have that much because of this guide. That said, it seems to focus more on mobile, and I’m using desktop, so if you’re also on desktop my thing here might help you?

One, go to the payments page. Fortunately, they’ve made it pretty easy to find...

...by making it the one on that list that’s in RED. Handy, right? No, I don’t know what it actually says. Again, I don’t speak a lick of Chinese. I have some Japanese so sometimes I recognize characters but that doesn’t get me far, ha.

Once you click that (you have to be logged in, of course!) it’ll open up a new screen, with a list of payment options on the right. As far as I can tell, this is what the choices are:

I’m gonna take a stab at international credit card, since that’s...the only one of these I have??? I tried to figure out what the “shenzhouxing” prepaid card is but basically got no where.The Shoko Translates guide does NOT have instructions on this part, at least not for desktop? And the pages look pretty differently on desktop. Anyway. Here goes nothing...I’m mostly relying on C&P and Google translate. *sweatdrop*

So, there are two tabs, but I can’t C&P them and I have no idea what they say. However, the one on the right doesn’t have any boxes for entering stuff?? So I’m gonna stick with the left...OH. It’s a page for doing security questions. Oh god, um.

Alright. So. Put your password in the top box. For the security questions, what they say is basically irrelevant, except it’s worth noting that the default option is apparently not a question - it’s just “select one.” If, like me, you don’t know Chinese...just pick whichever questions, and put in answers you’ll remember. It doesn’t give a damn if your answers are correlated (though, the first one on the list has something to do with dad, and the second on the list has something to do with mom, I recognize those characters, ha. It doesn’t let you pick the same questions twice...and there are two near the bottom that I THINK might be “father’s birthday” and “mother’s birthday.” And one about elementary school. Sorry, I’m distractable. The point is, the questions don’t matter as long as they accept your answers! Yes, it accepts English ones, and no it doesn’t have anyway of knowing if your answers correlate to the questions at all. TAKE A SCREENCAP OF YOUR CHOSEN QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS AND SAVE IT BECAUSE YOU’LL NEED THEM AGAIN!!! Do your pattern match thingy, then click the green button, and there’s another page which looks like it’s asking me to re-enter the same answers.

Click the green button on that second page, and there’s a new page with a single line of Chinese text:

“恭喜你，密保设置成功，点击此处跳转到用户基本信息页面”

which, according to google translate, is

“Congratulations, the secret security setting is successful, click here to jump to the user basic information page.”

Guess I’ll click the thing.

ALRIGHT. So, after doing all that, it takes me back to a home page? Awesome. Whatever. As long as it worked. Click on that red one in the navigation bar again, and NOW when you go to the “international credit card payment” one...

AHA THIS IS VERY PROMISING, lol. So, based on Shoko Translate’s guide, that place drop down menu with “17″ written says “USD” after it, and that it’ll get me 10,000 points. It looks like it processes payments through Paypal; based on my experience with Paypal, that means you may not need an actual Paypal account? But I’m honestly not sure, and I’ve had a Paypal account for 20 years, so I’m just gonna, ya know, use that.

A little window pops up that I’m assuming (blind guessing) is a “this will take you to another page/open a new window, is that a thing you want?” and I clicked the option on the right, and yep, it opened my Paypal. I’ve got a card on file, so...I’m just doing that. (I’d...better make sure I actually have $17 in my account... *another sweat drop*...okay yes I have like $80, wooo...oh, crap, I accidentally paid from my business account, sigh...well, there was def money in there but I’d better pay myself back...ANYWAY.)

Do the payment thing!

It redirects back to JJWXC!

It says something in big bold letters and I have absolutely no idea what! But then it loads, and it’s all the Chinese that I now recognize as my personal account page, and when I scroll to the bottom and...

...well I have no idea what any of that says but it sure as hell LOOKS like victory. Now to see if I can actually, ya know, buy a thing! I can’t afford to get everything I’d like to at once - I’m pretty broke - so I’m going to start with Tian Guan Ci Fu. It’s my favorite danmei novel, and one of my favorite books of all time, AND it’s by MXTX so even though I can’t buy MDZS on here, I can still support her. I linked to it yesterday in my previous post (which, again, is here).

Author: 墨香铜臭 

Title: 天官赐福

Direct Link:

https://href.li/?http://www.jjwxc.net/onebook.php?novelid=3200611

Now...

1. scroll down to the chapter list and click on the first one that says [VIP] next to it. Click the chapter title.

2. the circled button is “select all”

3. a pop up checks if you actually meant to do that. click the one on the left to confirm.

4. scroll to the bottom, and...

5. ignore those two check boxes, you might think they’re a ToS confirmation or a “are you sure” but they’re actually about subscribing to the book (which is pointless, since it’s finished) at least according to google.

6. ...uh...shit...now I have to figure out which of these buttons actually does the thing...um...oh thank God, it’s in the Shoko Translates Guide. So, there are five buttons right below the line saying how many points I have. The first is “confirm purchase” so, ya know, just ignore the other ones and click it.

7. A dialog box popped up! It says how many I spent and how many I have left and a bunch of Chinese and two mystery buttons...thank God, again, for Shoko translates, apparently they’re “read now” on the left and “read later” on the right. I’m gonna “read now” just to see if it worked...

8. Well...it sure looks like a book??? I have the PDF translations (a copy from before it was removed, and no, I won’t share it), and, um...okay, so the first unlocked chapter is 21...oh hey, I see San Lang (三郎)! That’s, like, the only thing on this whole page I can read! lmao. Anyway, comparing, like, pagination, and the placement of the exactly one thing I can read, YES, this definitely worked!

SO.

This has been your second installment of “disaster dumb white person who speaks no Chinese liveblogs their way through figuring out how the HELL to buy danmei on JJWXC.” If this has been helpful to you, please REBLOG, SIGNAL BOOST, and more importantly, SUPPORT YOUR FAVORITE DANMEI AUTHORS!!!!!!

(I own TGCF. I’m so happy omfg. 😭 😭 😭 😭 )

(and as a reminder: I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing. If you have a question that requires that someone know what they’re doing, DON’T ASK ME. Instead, try the Shoko Translates guide I linked at the beginning!!! Here, I’ll even link it again. USE IT. DO THE THING.)

#unforth rambles #tgcf #mdzs #svsss #2ha #erha #guardian #hell if remember what else i tagged yesterday #here guys i did the thing #now it's your turn #and now i've gotta go do my actual job

[aperrywilliams]

New blurbs-series: 10 days to my birthday!! (Day 3)

(Not my gif)

Author Masterlist - Series Masterlist

My birthday will be in 3 days from now. So I’m going to celebrate myself with 10 Spencer Reid’s blurbs. Enjoy!. Well, this can´t be called a blurb... maybe I need to change the name series to “mini-fics-series”.

Day 10 | Day 09 | Day 08 | Day 07 | Day 06 | Day 05 | Day 04 | Day 03 | Day 02 | Day 01

Day 03: Spencer Reid says he loves you for the first time.

Through the time you have worked at the BAU, your skills in the field improved considerably. In the beginning you avoided having physical contact with the unsubs - if you weren't trying to persuade them by negotiating, your best tactic was to point a gun at them. But as the months go by, melee fights were no longer a problem for you. You understood perfectly why Morgan liked to kick doors so much. Deep down inside you felt as you liked kicking asses. Which seemed to be a contradiction in itself but at the same time a good strategy: people seeing you would not think that you are a person who would opt for a hand-to-hand fight.

That earned you several injuries: after two years working at the BAU you had already been stabbed twice, shot in the leg once, shot in the shoulder twice, and earned some contusions on the head. You didn't consider yourself an reckless person in the field, just that sometimes the job demanded more exposure.

That was something your now three month-boyfriend Spencer didn't like at all. Whenever there was an operation in the field you could see how his body tensed just thinking what could happen to you this time.

“We have to use a bait, otherwise we won't be able to catch it,” were Hotch's words as you discussed your options during a case in Denver.

“Well, how do we do it?”. Rossi asked.

“We need to come back to the victimology,” Prentiss stated. Hotch nodded.

“White women, in their thirties, with an attractive personality...,” JJ began to describe. Spencer immediately shook his head.

“…With the same hair and eye color as (Y/N). No guys, that's not going to happen. We won't use (Y/N) as bait,” Spencer rushed to say. You immediately looked at him with a disapproving expression.

“Excuse me? I remind you guys that I am here and you are talking about me,” you said with some exhaustion. “And Spencer, I suppose it's a decision for me to make, right?”

“(Y/N) is right, it's her decision. But the way I see it, it seems like our best option,” Morgan stated.

“Okay, let's think about the pros and cons. What can go wrong?”. You asked to the team.

“Everything!”. Spencer started to raise his voice. “How can't everyone see it? Didn't you see the photographs of the victims? Do you realize what he did to them? He could do the same to (Y/N)!”. Spencer ran his hands through his hair in disbelief that no one would notice the impending danger.

“Reid, we know of your apprehensions, but it's the best we have right now. Besides (Y/N) won't be alone, we'll be covering all the entrances to the place and we'll have agents stationed inside too,” Hotch tried to reason with Spencer, but he only had his eyes fixed on you.

“Are you going to do it?”. He asked you. Spencer knew what your answer was going to be, so he knew perfectly well that he was cornering you in front of everyone.

“Yes, I will do it”, you told him without hesitation. Spencer got up and left the room without saying another word.

You really understood Spencer's concerns about your safety a lot, but that's what this job was like and when you took it you knew there could be situations like this. Furthermore, Spencer was not the example of self-care in the field: he had also been shot and beaten on more than one occasion. In addition to his inability to keep his bulletproof vest on.

Before starting the preparations for the night's operation, you tried to talk to him. Neither when you started to be friends nor now that you had been in a relationship for a few months have you both been upset with each other for long.

You found him sitting on a bench outside the station. When he saw you, he barely made eye contact with you. He preferred to look at his shoes again. You sat quietly, trying to find the right words to start that conversation.

“Spencer...”

“Yes, I know. I understand this job works this way. I have also done the same before. I’ve never doubted your capabilities (Y/N). If you felt that I'm sorry...,” he said without taking off his eyes off the floor.

“Please, look at me,” you asked almost in a whisper. It hurt to see him like this. He hesitated but did what you asked. “Spencer, I know you are worried about me and I’ve never wanted to contribute to that concern, but you’re right when you say that this is the way this job is. We all risk something more than once. It's not the idea, but sometimes it happens...”. You subtly tried to hold his hand and he let you.

“I know, but... but now it's different...,” he muttered trying to avoid your gaze again.

“Why do you say that?”. You asked him.

“Well, at least for me it's different. I mean, I've always been concerned about the safety of the whole team, but... thinking about the times you've been injured in the field and now that we're together... just thinking that something could happen to you... I don't know. Maybe it's selfish of me, but I wouldn't know what to do if something happened to you...,” he rambled.

“Spencer, for me being with you these three months has been one of the best things that has happened to me and of course I want to have the opportunity to continue discovering things with you...,” you tried to reassure him.

“You don't understand... it's not just that we're a couple... it's more than that…,” he trailed off.

You looked at him strangely. What was disturbing him in this way now that you hadn’t seen in the previous months? In the short time you guys had been in a formal relationship, you both made the decision not to rush things. And so far everything was working out fine. You were sure you loved Spencer, but you never told him precisely because you didn't want to overwhelm him. You knew that Spencer liked to take small but safe steps. And you were fine with that.

“So tell me, what is it about?”. You asked him to elaborate. At the time that Spencer was going to develop his idea, Prentiss with JJ approached where you were.

“(Y/N), we have to get you ready for the night,” Prentiss told you. You looked at Spencer who was silent again. Whatever he was going to say to you, it was no longer the time.

“Okay. We can talk about this later, right?”. You spoke to Spencer. He just nodded. You got up and went with the girls inside the police station.

The plan was simple and risky at the same time, but it seemed effective. The idea was that you were in a specific bar that they knew was frequented by the suspect. Given your resemblance to the victims, the bet was that you attracted their attention until they could make a safe arrest. As Hotch had promised, there were agents posted outside the bar and some undercover inside as well.

“Hey, I think I see the unsub,” you muttered into your earpiece, as well as described his appearance so that it would be known to the agents.

“Good job (Y/L/N), now you must get his attention,” Hotch instructed. That's how you approached the bar, right next to the unsub and ordered a drink. According to the profile that you had all developed, the subject fit perfectly. After engaging in conversation with him, you agreed to go with him to the alley behind the bar. You didn’t count on the fact that the unsub was not really ‘the’ unsub, but rather a bait of the real murderer whom you had not seen all night and of whom no one had a description. ‘Fuck!’, you mumbled when you felt a blow to your head. Hotch started calling you and when you didn't answer, everyone mobilized. The unsub dragged you to a property next to the bar, further from the alley which quickly filled with police officers and your team.

When the unsub was about to drag you inside a truck, you felt someone yell.

“Stop! FBI!”. You were dizzy but could immediately recognize Spencer's voice. The unsub turned around and pulled a knife from his vest which immediately pointed at your neck. Trying to recover you only saw Spencer's panicky face. This was one of the results that he had surely calculated and that could end very badly. In a second of thinking and not thinking at the same time, you elbowed the unsub in the stomach, who before releasing the knife managed to graze part of your skin, ripping it. Free from your captor's grip, you ran towards Spencer. He had lowered his gun without realizing that the unsub was pulling a revolver out of his boot, pointing and firing rapidly in Spencer's direction. Again, with the adrenaline pumping, you retraced your steps and jumped on the unsub, making him fall and dropping the gun. You hit him a couple of times for good measure until he stopped struggling and passed out.

Spencer's whines brought you back to reality. When you turned around you saw he was on the ground and was holding his arm in pain. The bastard had hit him on the shoulder. You ran in his direction again.

“Spencer!,” you knelt in front of him and began to inspect his wound.

“(Y/N), are you okay?,” he told you. Why he asked you that since he was the one who was shot? There you realized your white blouse was stained with blood, thanks to the cut made with the unsub's knife near your neck.

“Yeah… yeah. It must be superficial. Sorry, I screwed it up. I didn't realize it was a trap...,” you started to sob and ramble. Spencer tried to calm you down.

“Hey, it's okay. We'll be okay...”

The next few minutes were confusing. The police arrived at the scene, along with the entire team. Two ambulances also arrived: in one they brought Spencer up to check his wound. They took you to the other to see the cuts on your body. The unsub was arrested and taken to the station. The paramedic who checked you cleaned up and patched your cuts. When you were ready you went to the other ambulance to see Spencer. The shot had been shallow and the bullet only grazed his shoulder, so cleaning and bandaging would be fine.

“Hey...,” you said as Spencer got out of the ambulance and fixed his vest over his patched shoulder.

“Hey...,” he replied. “You're good?”.

“Yeah. You?”.

“I'll be fine,” he told you smiling. He knew you were stressed and needed words of encouragement.

“Spencer, look... I know things could have gone very wrong today and you had your apprehensions, and I respect them... and you were right, I never doubted it was risky, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry you got hurt. And thank you for saving my life again. If you hadn't been by my side, maybe the result would have been different...,” you began to ramble.

“I love you,” Spencer told you taking your hand. You stopped your speech immediately and looked at him dumbfounded.

“What…?”

“I love you. That is what I was trying to tell you this afternoon. It's not that I worry just because I have my apprehensions with everything and everyone. With you it’s different because I love you. And it scares the shit of me that something happens to you and lose you. I'm terrified (Y/N), because bad things happen to the people I love and I can't do anything to stop it. And if I hadn't told you this before, it's because that means I have to admit that I'm afraid...,” he trailed off. Your heart was about to explode. You was thrilled to know that Spencer loved you but it hurt he felt so vulnerable to confess it.

“God Spencer. I love you too. So so much... I didn't tell you because I didn't want to overwhelm you. We agreed to take things slow and I was fine with that”. You told him hugging him tight. He buried his head on your shoulder.

“And I know you are scared. I must confess that I am too. I have never felt this for anyone and it also scares me to lose you... I may not say it or not show it, but it is the truth. But, you know what? We can do this together. We can face our fears together. Would you do that with me?”. You asked as you pulled away from his embrace slightly to look at him.

“The truth?... I'm willing to do anything as long as it's with you, (Y/N),” he told you leaning down and sealing his vow with a deep kiss which you reciprocated with equal intensity.

That was the first time Spencer Reid said 'I love you' to you. The first of many. It was also the first time you pondered more strongly the importance of balancing self-care at work with duty. Both, you and Spencer, would have a lot to learn about it, but you would do it together.

——

Permanent Taglist: @dreatine​​​ @andiebeaword​​​ @paulaern​

#spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid blurb #spencer reid #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x reader #10 days to my birthday #aperrywilliams #criminal minds #mini series

[movie-guy49]

Hey everyone,

The subject of this week's blog and yes I know I'm two days late but believe me this is going to be well worth it especially to the men out there here on Tumblr the ones that are single let me ask you a question have you been talking to women lately that seem a little peculiar to you they say they miss you they love you all this and that and you've only talk to them like once or twice you ask for their phone number they avoid it completely or they just make a big excuse why they can't give it to you asked to go meet them they don't that they say okay fine come you know you give an address and then you completely gets stood up because they just don't show this is an MO or otherwise known as a method of operation for these women sometimes it even as much as the first conversation or the third they will start telling you start giving you a sob story like I'm having to come out here from another country or I'm having to move to this state because I'm having to take care of sick relatives or they don't have no food or anything like that and if they want to meet if you want to meet them you have to give them gas money and no that's part of the scam then they start asking for things like gift cards $20 $40 $100 gift cards some drnominations don't even exist on some of the gift cards Google Play and steam gift cards are the most common if you have fallen prey to these women and I have twice and I'm glad I did because that was money well spent because I got to learn all kinds of shit from these people and then I'm giving you all that I have right now here are some of the red flags that show up during these conversations:

1. Their language is all wrong they'll say things like instead of saying like what did you have for breakfast to say did you take breakfast or they'll say something to the fact of their grammar being so messed up you have to like think about it before you understand what the're trying to tell you some of these women are coming from Russia some of them are from Africa some of them are from Mexico and they are all here in the United States typically in the states of the Northeast New York New Jersey there are some out west in California there are a few here in Texas and there are some just scattered everywhere.

2. They start telling you they need food but they need you to get them a $40 $50 or $100 or whatever it is gift card most commonly known as Google play or Steam do not do it because what they're doing is is they're taking the cards and selling them on the black market or on these websites that operate and they are turning in for money they're getting less than what they're supposed to get so that's why you have to give more to cover what they're not getting

3. They start asking you questions like your bank account they want you logging information do not give it to them their social security number they want to verify you through ID me id.me is legit so that would be fine except the safer way for you to do it is go ahead and go on id.me and do your own verification that way you don't have to give them nothing the less information they have on you the more likely they're going to just pass you up.

4. They ask you who you're with your cell phone number is and who your mobile carrier is this is to put you in on dating sites and for them to subscribe you to advertising that they get money for okay this is a different type of identity theft ring it is identity theft to a point but they're not using the information necessarily against you they're not even really taking a lot of money out of people's bank accounts they're only taking money out of the bank accounts that they can't get any money other ways so that's why I said do not give them anything.

5. Do not confront them either because they will always deny that they are scamming you they do that so that way they can bring you in closer to them so they can get your trust.

6. When you ask where they work and stuff besides are the probably going to tell you there they either don't have a job or it's some kind of job that's actually ridiculous for them to have they're not good liars folks they really are not you just got to learn this read between the lines with these people and like I said the biggest clue right there is the language you know things that should be plural or not plural things that are misspelled or misspelled badly the wording is confusing and I think I already said this once.

7. Always remember guys if it is too good to be true it probably is.

8. If they ask for your bank account information for the purpose of depositing money they will deposit money into your account but then they will take it and more if they tell you you can spend some of it do not touch it because that's how they get people just don't touch it call your bank tell them what's going on they will close your account and they will inevitably beginning investigation and once that happens everything they will be frozen you will not be able to have access to nothing unfortunately by extra step go to the police department I mean I know this part is going to be a waste of time because they're not going to be able to get your money back but at least let them know so that way there's some record of it.

9. Screenshot everything write everything down take notes even if you are in the middle of one of these conversations now go back as far as you can from the beginning tell you know screenshot your conversation if you need to that's fine but this is got to stop guys and we're the only ones who can fight back the FBI will help you know they they can do the Justice part they can they can make the arrest and go to court and everything but they can't do it without our help.

10. Now I will be turning people in in groups of five or more that's why I said turn the information into me as soon as I get five or six people together I will go turn them in I do have a contact there and he told me just to wait to have that many just because it would just be easier to just do them all at once so just one by one by one by one

So now you know what is going on so how you stop it that's very easy you do one thing and one thing only you make a decision and you stand by it you stand your ground you do not weaken your position at all do not show that you're weak do not give them even an inch because if you give them an inch they will not just take a mile they will take a whole football field and then they're going to tighten the grip on you and then you can't get out if you're in this position Now message me immediately and let me know and I will give you I will give you instructions this blog this this post I will I am asking everybody who reads it's please please reblog this over and over and over and over again I don't care how many times this has got to get out cuz this is very serious so far these women just in the past two and a half years have gotten over a hundred million dollars from Men 100 million definitely more than a price of a cup of coffee in the guys and the thing is it could have all been prevented.

Now for the fun part things that I have tried and has worked to oeel these women off your back besides Im no of course.

1. If you should give them your PIN number or you already have tell them that you had to get that you received a piece of software from your bank or whatever you want to lie to them if you got to every time they use the PIN code a new one is put in its place at random only you know what the new PIN code is going to be because it's going to be email to you if they ask to see proof of the emails tell them that's classified you can't show that just doesn't allow you to screenshot it because Android phones I know especially I'm pretty sure probably the same as iPhones you cannot screenshot certain screens especially on banking apps or anything has to do with money I sensitive information

2. Okay if you've given them your bank account info or your PIN number already tell them that you got notification from your bank that to be safe they're charging you an extra save $5 for the purpose of enrolling you in a new service that will automatically change your PIN number every time you use it or if you want to you you can tell him that you came across the piece of software on the internet that does the exact same thing I just told you about whichever it doesn't matter this will make them back off of you a lot because then they know that you're on to them they'll start not talking to you like they were or they'll say you know they'll be in a conversation just leave get offline you know because they know that you're on to them and they're panicking they don't know what to do so they have to call their boss to find out what to do and he has given them no answer no we do not know who the boss is by the way or where this is all being based out of I will tell you also that.

3. Okay I'm sure you're probably wondering who all these women are not 100% sure but most likely they probably were kidnapped at some point in time brainwashed and part of a human trafficking ring or a sexual tracking trafficking ring before they ended up doing this they probably don't even know who they really are but yet they managed to play in the end you know with our society because you know our society is pretty much stupid in itself I'm sorry guys but it's true and I count myself apart that

I don't think I have forgotten anything else like I said be vigilant Be watchful and do not lose your ground make a decision you stay with it cuz otherwise you're just going to put more money in their pockets I mean it's very possible that you know you know they figure well we're on to them so they're going to go ahead and just give up and close shop and move on to the next country you guys some of you I know work very hard for your money now I'm not sure if men are doing this to women or not but for you ladies if there is anything like this the same the same thing applies I mean I don't see why there are in any man involved or probably should be.

Finally it took a lot for me to admit what I admitted to you tonight I'm not very proud of what I did I'm not very proud of the fact that I let somebody well actually left2 somebody's get by me I'm usually pretty smart but that's how they operate and I will tell you tonight I have a possible number six so I don't know if number six will turn out or not she's doing a lot of the same things but she's been taking more of an actual normal approach as to the relationship part of it I'm not letting myself get involved you know emotionally or anything I'm just kind of just playing a role right now and she's not getting any money from me so I will keep you updated on that like I said anybody guys I don't care who you are I will not ask questions I will not judge please help me get these people may we may not get them all but hell we can at least put a big big enough Dent and shut down and they'll leave but we got to act quickly and we got to keep acting quickly hell I would say it's pretty ballsy if you go decide to go ahead and start seeking them out just to get them I mean you can do that if you wish unfortunately there's no reward or no money being paid but you know you are kind of owe it to your fellow neighbor your fellow just your fellow person you fellow man all right you guys good luck you got a lot of work ahead of us y'all have a great week and I'll update you as I get more information if you have any questions do not please do not hesitate to ask if I don't have the answer I will contact my person at the FBI and he will answer them for me and I will get back to you as soon as possible thank you guys have a great week.

[a-little-slice-of-fandom]

The Queens on Holiday part 3/?

Before I start, this is just a casual reminder that I now have an insta account (@we_stan_six)! Go follow me if you like the sort of stuff I post here :)

Anyway, sorry this third installment took so long to get around to. Personal life caught up with me and I really don't want to half ass any of my headcanons. It just doesn't feel right, ya know? (Also I can’t do the read more thing on mobile IM SORRY OKAY?)

Parr shouts for help because that bag has all of her clothes, shoes, the medical kit and three signed books in it

Problem is, they’re in Italy and no one can understand the tiny woman with curly hair shouting madly in a language they don’t speak

Aragon isn’t helping as she’s just sort of flailing her arms about wildly and screaming in Spanish

Jane grabs what looks to be a security guard and tries desperately to explain the situation to them

Cleves goes full on superwoman and breaks into a sprint

Boleyn drops her bags and follows on her heels

Boleyn’s heelys finally come in handy as she zooms through the crowd

The two catch up with the man and wrench the bag from his hand

He just stands there, dumbfounded and confused

There’s a few whispers coming from onlookers in the airport

“Why is no one applauding our valiant act of heroism?” “I mean it wasn’t that-” “we risKED OUR LIVES” “Boleyn it’s not-“ “WHEN WILL JUSTICE BE SERVED”

The other four queens rush up to the scene

People are starting to call for security

Howard quickly smiles at the man and, to the other queens surprise, the two begin to converse in Italian

“You never said you spoke Italian” “no one ever asked” “Never mind that, why was he trying to steal my bag?”

The two continue to converse

All the colour drains from Howard’s face

Turns out, the man is partially blind and genuinely thought Parr’s bag was his. He started running because he saw the time and realised he was about to miss his connection flight

His wife comes up behind them, holding her own bag and an exact copy of Parr’s bag except this one has a different name tag on it

The other queens all start trying to profusely apologise in a variety of different languages. English, French, German, Italian, Spanish.

Parr accidentally slips into Korean once or twice in her flustered state

The couple just sort of back away from the queens and run to get their flight

The six of them all take a quick breath and let the adrenaline drain from them

“Uh, queens”

Aragon is pointing over their shoulders

An army of buff security guards are questioning a few witnesses to what just happened

All fingers are pointing to the queens

“What does that mean? “IT MEANS RUN”

So the queens leg it out of the airport and pile into the nearest taxi without warning

Howard is in the front so she can translate

There’s only three seats in the back, so the other five queens are all squished together in a mess of limbs

“Are we there yet” “for the sixth time-OW” “Oh come on Parr that couldn’t have hurt that much!” “Im delicate okay?” Who the hell is hurting my goddaughter?” “Guys I can’t feel my legs anymore” “are we there yet?” “NO”

Since the queens missed their original flight, they’re really behind schedule

They can either miss their tour of the Vatican and go to the hotel to drop their bags off, or they can do the tour and miss the hotel’s dinner

Aragon is DETERMINED to see the Sistine chapel

Cleves and Boleyn also seem pretty interested in doing a tour of the Vatican

Cleves explains quietly to Aragon that yes, she might have been raised a Lutheran but she converted to Catholicism at Mary’s request. The least she could do was tour the place that Aragon’s daughter loved so much

Aragon is incredibly touched

Boleyn just wants to try and find the angel that’s giving the medieval version of the finger thats painted on the ceiling of the Sistine chapel

The queens decide to spilt up.

Aragon, Boleyn and Cleves will do the tour, while Seymour, Howard and Parr head on with the bags and check into the hotel

Just as Seymour hops out of the cab, she gives the trio a long list of instructions on what to do and what definitely not to do

The not to do list is directed solely at Boleyn

Only Aragon actually listens

Seymour turns to Parr and Howard

“Was I right? In letting them go by themselves, I mean?” “Absolutely, mum” “No they’re definitely going to d-I mean yeah”

So they check into the hotel without much of a fuss

Seymour still can’t believe that Howard speaks Italian and never mentioned anything about it

Howard is more surprised that Parr didn’t join the others at the Vatican

Turns out she just wanted to make sure she got the better room at the hotel

So Seymour, Parr and Howard all reward themselves for actually getting to italy by taking the bigger room with the queen sized beds, balcony and mini-fridge

Seymour insists that they only took this room so Boleyn wouldn’t cost them a small fortune by raiding the mini-fridge and definitely not because this room as a jacuzzi bath

“Should we really let Aragon and Boleyn share a room for a week?” “That can be Cleves problem”

So the they go to dinner

Seymour and Parr share a bottle of wine

Parr gets emotional when tipsy

*Hiccup* “you guys...you guys know how much the show means to me right? And you queens are so *hiccup* amazing and I’m so glad the producers raised us from the dead”

Howard eats so much Italian gelato she can’t even look at it for the rest of the week

Seymour’s phone begins ringing just as the bill for dinner arrives

It’s a number she doesn’t recognise.

She answers anyway, and to her surprise, it’s Aragon

“Jane! Thank goodness, now you need to listen to me really carefully it’s incredibly-GET OFF ME ANNA-

Jane can hear some faint shuffling as Cleves takes the phone

“Hey, Seymour. How are things? Good? That’s great. Now the thing is we’re sort of in a bit of trouble right now and-”

Cleves shouts a string of curses so colourful they could put even the pride flag to shame as the phone is snatched from her hand

Now it’s Boleyn

“JANE FOR GOD’S SAKE GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE AND HELP US THEY’RE GONNA KILL ME!”

Howard and Parr can both hear the other queens bickering with one another over the phone

People are giving them strange looks

“Mum, turn speakerphone off” “it is off!”

Jane sighs and returns to the phone call

“Queens, calm down. I can’t understand you when you’re squabbling like children. Now what’s wrong?”

Jane can barely believe their response

“WE’VE BEEN ARRESTED!”

BONUS

Meanwhile, back in London, the Ladies in Waiting and the three alternates are having a quiet week to themselves all things considered.

Howard’s service dog may have terrorised a family picnic or two when Joan took it for a walk but other than that things have gone well

Maggie suggests they all have night in together

Before Maggie can even finish her suggestion the alternates are ordering pizza

While Maria runs out to pick up their order, the others decide to play a game of monopoly

Within about thirty seconds Bessie and Joan and are no longer on speaking terms and one of the alternates has already been in jail six times

“Huh,” another one of the alternates murmurs, concentrating intensely on the news broadcast and trying to block out the brewing row “apparently some idiot just set the Sistine Chapel on fire...”

#six the musical #six #anne boleyn #sixthemusical #katherine howard #catherine parr #catherine of aragon #jane seymour #anne of cleves #anna of cleves #sixthemusical headcanons #six headcanons #headcanon #headcanons #six headcanon

[msephy]

Upbringing chap 10/13

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9

Cross-posted to AO3

Earth 53 - Jason Todd

This region of the Himalaya outside of Lhasa, Tibet, hadn’t changed much compared to Jason’s memories, that’s to say, it wasn’t very different from what it looked like in his world. It wasn’t that surprising. After all, the mountains dated from long before the moment when their world diverged and not much could leave its trace on them.

Was it even how it worked? Possibly not. He didn’t know that much about the multiverse.

“Are you sure this is the way?” Bruce asked for the tenth time.

Or the hundredth, if you counted all the times he’d asked before they’d landed the plane. The mountain surrounded them, the trail bumpy, icy, and generally dangerous. They’d had one other signal from Talia, four hours ago, that had thankfully confirmed the accuracy of their direction but, still; they might in fact ben pushing to another hideout. Who knew how many Ra’s had.

“You can see the tracks in the snow ahead of us, can’t you?” Jason answered, annoyed. Also, trying to drive the damn bat-luge or whatever the name of this thing was. “Anyway, we’re late. They are about, what, twelve hours ahead?”

“Those aren’t tracks. Those would show over the snow. Those impressions are hidden underneath…”

“Sure, sure. Who cares. Nobody lives around here, except ninjas.”

“Ninjas are Japanese,” Bruce corrected automatically.

Jason swallowed back a snapping answer. Bruce was real talkative, also real nervous. The last snowfall, the one that had covered the depressions, had indeed fallen half a day earlier. They were late. And there were only a couple of hours left before dark.

Damnit.

As he thought about that, they finally reached a pike that their bat-snow-mobile wouldn’t be able to climb. Jason stopped the motor then, bracing himself for the cold, opened the door. They wore special armor but it was still fucking freezing.

And they were on their own, against the League of Shadows. There was no reaching for Dick from here, not that the kid would have been able to help much, from back in Gotham.

“Those dents,” Bruce thought out loud. “Old tracks made by a snow leopard, probably moving to a higher ground in search of food.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Just, let’s, alright?” And let’s hope the opening he knew about would exist here. And that Damian would be there. And that they’d manage to fight off the fucking ninjas.

They moved silently. Then they had to throw a line to move up the pike, when it became too vertical to be climbed, which accelerated things a bit. Once they reached the top, Jason grabbed the edge to pull himself up – and had to let go with a squeal as someone tried to stab him.

Jason had dropped the line but got out a knife and stabbed it into the rock, once, twice, until it found a weakness and got it. The shock almost dislocated his shoulder. Shit.

He could hear fighting noise, way up. Bruce hadn’t even tried to catch him. Was it trust in his abilities or him not giving a crap? Bit of both, most likely. And, damn, Jason was hanging by a knife he wasn’t going to get back. How was he going to climb back up now?

Then he noticed the line, still dangling there. Aaalright. He extended an arm, slowly, and – yes, he could reach it. He tested it but nobody had cut it just yet. They sounded too busy to have checked that he hadn’t fallen to his death, so he was going to trust nobody was going to cut it just yet.

It was much slower to do this by hand. When he reached the edge again, he couldn’t hear a sound anymore. Though if those had been assassins, he had faith in Bruce beating the hell out of them. Still, Jason didn’t want to take chances.

He launched himself up, rolling in the snow, his knives ready. He ended up right next to an assassin and didn’t hesitate, stabbing him in the shoulder from behind. Another tried to jump at him, giving some air to Bruce. Good.

Jason tackled him before he could reach him, punching him in the gut. The idiot had been staring at his blade. Jason threw it on a third to distract him; Bruce had two others on him still. The man faced Jason, grim.

Jason grinned. Then ran, plunging forward – and went entirely past the assassin, moving on the one who was on Bruce instead. Bruce turned, throwing another batarang to the one who’d faced Jason and, just like that, they were done.

Seven assassins down. Jason sheathed his remaining knife. Fuck, that had felt good.

“They’re still guarding the entrance,” Jason said.

“Which mean Ra’s might not be done yet,” Bruce completed.

Then he smiled at him. Fuck, that was weird. Yet Jason couldn’t help but to smile back.

“Let’s go get some demons’ heads.”

Bruce rolled his eyes. “There is only one…”

“I know, Jesus. Come on. It’s this way.”

This whole thing had slowed them down and now they were starting to lose visibility, fast. Thankfully, they were almost there. The entrance Jason knew of was a passage hidden in the ice and it was literally invisible. Even knowing it was there, it would be hard to find.

They finally reached the glacier and Jason put his gloved hands on the ice, searching.

“There is an optical illusion,” Jason explained. “The ice was deliberately cut that way, so it would look like a solid wall when it’s not. That’s what makes it hard to… Bruce?”

He looked around. No one. Panic gripped his gut. He had not left him there, had he?

“Over here,” Bruce’s voice called. “Hurry up.”

Jason closed his eyes and followed the noise and breathed in when he finally found the ice corridor. Bruce started to walk, briskly, as soon as Jason appeared. Jason followed, cursing.

“How the fuck did you do that?”

“Echo-location. Now hush. There will be more guards.”

And, of course, as he said that, they reached a big opened cave where about a hundreds of leagues were looking at a platform cut in the rock, where Ra’s was standing with a pale-looking Damian. The kid perked up as soon as he saw them.

“Father!”

“Detective,” Ra’s stated.

He looked terrible, his skin parched and tightened on his cheek, giving him corpse-looking features. His skull was almost bare, with only a few gray hairs remaining. Yet he stood as proud as ever in his green and gold regalia.

The assassins parted before him as Ra’s approached them. They didn’t attack, clearly having been told not to. Two of them stayed on each side of Damian’s. Jason noticed Talia, also surrounded by guards. She was kneeling a few paces away from her son, her arms bound behind her back. She was looking at him intently.

“Here we are again, face to face,” Ra’s said. Then, in this absurd way of his, he threw them each a katana, that Bruce and Jason both caught. Knowing the bastard, they were well sharpened, too.

Bruce didn’t waste time, lounging to attack. “But this will be the last time.”

Unfortunately for him, Ra’s was a much better fencer, even in this diminished state. Bruce was good, but he was still too young to face the Demon’s Head. What he could do, though, was distracting him while Jason walked toward Damian.

The leaguers let him pass, apparently surprised of how uninterested he seemed to be by the duel between Bruce and Ra’s. They had to think he was Jason Wayne despite the age difference; most of them wouldn’t know him well enough to realize.

They did stop him when he reached the platform where Damian and Talia were kept.

That’s when the metallic sound of a sword clattering on the rocky ground echoed in the cave. Jason didn’t have to turn to know it was Bruce’s: he could see as much in the assassins’ smug smiles all around him.

Jason smiled back, which seemed to surprise them. Then he jumped over the heads of the few who tried to bar his way, letting the katana go to unsheathe his guns, and started firing.

He didn’t actually touch anyone but they all rolled away by reflex. Reaching the platform, he threw one of his knives toward Talia, who’d taken advantage of the distraction to get rid of her guards. She cut away her bonds and ran toward Damian while Jason prevented anyone from getting close.

“You’re not my Jason,” Talia stated when they joined him.

“Nope, indeed. Hi, brat.”

“What are you doing here, Todd?” Damian asked in that belligerent tone of his.

“Saving your life. Thanks for the trail, by the way.”

“You’re very welcome,” Talia answered, nonplussed. She was frowning. Wondering where her Jason was, maybe.

“I meant, go help my father!” Damian demanded.

Right. Bruce had lost his sword again, and was surrounded by assassins. Apparently, Ra’s had decided to stop playing.

“Tell me you have an escape plan,” Talia whispered.

“Run very fast?” Jason murmured back.

He could throw a smoke bomb but the leaguers were used to those artifices as much as they were, and wouldn’t get distracted. Yet he had to get Damian out of there. Bruce would manage, if the kid was out of harm’s way.

And he had to act fact, before Bruce did something stupid.

“Let them go, Ra’s,” Bruce said in perfect timing. “You need a host body, take mine.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake…” Jason aimed. The assassins around him tensed. Ra’s didn’t seem to worry much.

“I know your code, Jason. Even with your brother’s life on the line, you wouldn’t hurt me enough to stop me.”

Jason laugh had a manic edge, one he knew well but which made Ra’s frown. Bruce was livid, beneath the cowl.

“Jason. Don’t.”

“Ah, Ra’s, I’m sorry to tell you, but that one, he’s not my brother.” Jason smirked. “And I really, really don’t care about his code.”

And he fired.

###

Earth 53 – Jason Wayne

In retrospective, showing up in the Justice League’s headquarters unannounced though a purple portal had maybe not been Jason’s brightest idea. He wore the same unmarked gear as Bruce, with black, generic mask; nothing to inform them by sight of his own appurtenance to the League, even if he had been a member.

Batman was, of course. But not his shadow.

“Call the goddamn Cave, you have a line,” Jason argued for the sixth time. “Robin will be there, he can confirm my identity.”

“Robin isn’t part of the Justice League, and even he can be fooled,” Orion answered calmly, in a tone that said he wasn’t going to take a kid’s word on this.

“Then call Kal El,” Jason growled, aggravated. “He’ll vouch for me, and I vouch for him,” he added, waving toward Bruce.

The other-world Batman was waiting, patiently, but tense. Of course, he wouldn’t like being surrounded by semi-hostile meta-humans. Jason kind of agreed with him.

“Once again…”

“I’m here, Batman,” Kal said, walking into the room. “I heard you arguing from afar.”

Jason relaxed, relieved. Had Kal been worried about him? Bruce certainly wouldn’t have asked to keep an ear out, but Dick might have.

“His voice records don’t match,” protested Orion. “The protocols…”

“There is more to Batman than you know,” Kal interrupted. “But I agree, we should add his voice to the database.”

“The hell you are,” Jason snorted. “Can we go? I need to get to the Cave and talk with, you know, Robin.”

Kal would know he meant Bruce. Kal nodded and started walking with them toward the exit, trying not to glance at Bruce too often.

“He contacted us a few days ago in order to start researching about the multiverse. We found a contact out-world who might have been able to help, but apparently he was called away in a rush.”

Jason felt himself pale. Had something happened to Bruce? To Dick? God forbid, to Damian?

“Do you want a lift?” Kal asked in a lower tone. “Gotham city isn’t that far, but…”

Jason glanced back at Bruce. The older man didn’t say anything for a couple of seconds, lips pinched, but then finally nodded.

“Thank you, Kal,” Jason said. “I’ll owe you one.”

“No problem.”

They departed in a rush of wind, Jason grabbing Kal’s neck from behind while Bruce sat very rigidly in Kal’s arms. In any other circumstances, Jason might have laughed. His brother would have been mad enough at the indignity, he didn’t imagine what his Bruce was thinking.

In any case, he did understand how worried Jason was. With a family like his, all vigilantes putting their lives on the line…

They arrived at the Cave in minutes. As they stopped, they were met by Dick, who jumped from the computer seat with the exuberant squeal of “Jason!” before suddenly freezing. “It is you, isn’t it?” he asked, suspicious.

Jason grinned, so, so relieved to see him. “It is. Come and greet me properly?”

The teenager jumped in his opened arms, laughing with relief. “You’re here! I’m so glad. The other Jason is a moron!”

“So, he was here? Where is he? Ah, wait.” Jason looked at Kal over Dick’s head. “Thank you, Kal. I think we’ll handle it from there.”

“Are you sure?”

“You know better than to ask that. Thank you for the lift, and for the research about the multiverse.”

“We’ll talk about this later. Don’t hesitate to call if needed.”

And, with a rush of red wind, he was gone. Jason hugged Dick once more, relieved beyond words to see his nephew again. Then he sighed.

“So, Bruce? Damian?”

Dick’s face fall. “A lot happened. Damian was taken.”

“Tell me. But first, call Alfred, and please warn him that we have a visitor. This is Bruce from the world I ended up in. I assume it’s the Bruce from your Jason. Jason Todd, right?”

“Something like that. He was much younger though, why is this Bruce older.”

“He isn’t my brother,” Jason explained. “Come on, go warn Alfred. I don’t want him to have a heart attack if he sees an old Bruce going around like this.”

Dick nodded then rushed upstairs. Jason removed his mask and gloves and turned on the kettle to make some tea. He’d installed one in the Cave a way back, persuading Alfred to go sleep at a decent hour instead of waiting for either him or his brother. They could take care of each other.

“I’d show you around,” he told Bruce, “but you’ll recognize the layout. There are only minor differences and, of course, a technological gap. Nothing too bad, though. I’ll add you to the computer so you won’t have to hack into it.”

“Not the best security protocol.”

Jason snorted. “I’ve lived in your house for several days, Bruce. I met your kids. I would have noticed if you were all supervillains. Damian isn’t good at pretense.”

He felt worry churning at his belly, but five minutes wouldn’t change the situation. Jesus, Damian. Who had taken him? It had to be Ra’s, which was bad news. If they went after him, Bruce and the other Jason could be anywhere.

Dick came back, followed by Alfred. They’d apparently taken the time to go to the kitchen first, because the old butler was carrying a plate of fruits and biscuits. “Master Jason. Glad to see you back home. And this mister would be another Bruce Wayne, from what I her?”

“Yes, the adoptive father of the Jason who was apparently your guest.”

“That young man’s upbringing appears to have been quite peculiar.”

Bruce actually winced at that. Jason snorted. “So I gathered. Thank you, Alfred. I don’t think Bruce will stay with us for long, he’s just here to retrieve Jason then head back home, but…”

“Life does tend to have its own ways,” Alfred agreed. “I’ll prepare a room upstairs.”

Jason put the tea to infuse, preparing the cups for later. He stole a biscuit then proposed them to Bruce, who accepted one, stiff. Dick was still staring at him.

“Dick,” Jason sighed. “Please behave.”

“But it’s Bruce, only older! Do you have a Robin too?”

Bruce hesitated at that. “I adopted someone called Dick Grayson, too, yes. He isn’t Robin anymore, though. He preferred to become his own hero.”

“Awesome,” Dick sighed.

“Tell us about what happened.”

Dick straightened, a bit pale. “I don’t think it has anything to do with Jason Todd, except the fact that Damian left the manor because he was mad at being beaten. Your son is not very nice,” he added, talking to Bruce, who nodded. “Anyway, when we realized we went to look for him, but, nothing. Then we found out the League of Shadows was in town! And Jason Todd said that Ra’s might want Damian’s body?”

Jason paled. “His body? Talia would never let him.”

“I don’t think she had a choice,” Dick continued. “We realized they were there because I spotted her on camera. Then after they left, I mean, Bruce and Jason Todd, well, she managed to send a signal so they could track them. But now, I lost contact. They were in the Himalayas and told me it would happen, but…”

Jason put a hand on his shoulder. “Thank you, Dick. And don’t worry. The mountains make it hard for a signal to reach, so it is normal.”

Dick nodded. No wonder he’d been relieved to see them. Left alone in the Cave like that… Maybe the other Bruce had had a point, having so many kids, even though it put them in danger. At least, they all relied on each other. They’d all come to the manor when Jason had arrived, to check on Bruce, to make sure he wasn’t a threat.

Jaso had always refrain from adopting any of the kids he took care of, at the foundation, because putting Dick in danger was already too much. Maybe he should think about this from another perspective.

“Do you have the path they followed?” Bruce asked.

Dick jumped back into the computer’s seat. “Yes, of course. I’ve tracked them down the whole way, until the signal was lost.” He opened a map. “The Batplan is there, you see? It hasn’t left. And they took the Batluge through this pass. I don’t know what happened next. I lost them around here but the signal had been patchy for a while.”

“I see,” Bruce said.

“Do you know where they are?”

“They might have gone to the same place I went to when it happened in our world. I was with Talia, though, not with your double. And it happened much later.”

Jason bit his lip. It was hours away. There was no point rushing there to intervene. Bruce seemed to think the same thing, because he thanked Dick without asking more questions.

“How did you get out of there in your world?” Jason couldn’t help but ask.

“Ra’s body was deteriorating quickly. He thought stealing another’s body was the only solution, but he wasn’t happy about it. I suggested an alternative.”

“Which would be?”

“To guide him to Nanda Parbat, a mythical city where the most pure of the Lazarus pit can be found. It would restore his body without him having to steal another.”

Jason nodded. Sounded like something that would work on Ra’s. However, his Bruce didn’t know about this place. What was he going to do?

But he had the other Jason, and possibly Talia, and Damian, despite his young age. They were going to make it. They had to. Right?

Right?

###

Notes

A lot of what is going on here follows the storyline of “The resurrection of Ra’s al Ghul” which includes Batman #670-671, Robin #168-169, Nightwing #138-139 & Detective Comics #838-840. I mostly took things from Detective comics #838, including some of the dialogs. I’m aware this doesn’t follow the timeline properly, but hey, it’s another world.

Reblogs, likes and comments are very welcome :)

#byme #upbringing #jason wayne #jason todd #bruce wayne #my fics #batfamily

[bluerene]

don’t think twice [bbrae]

hellooooo friends!! Happy belated Valentine’s Day! 

I had wanted to share a few one-shots for my tumblr valentines earlier this week, but after getting swamped with a paper and a surprise fever, I realized I would not be posting anything in time for the day of hearts :( That said, I still have some gifts to upload so I’ll be staggering these out over the next few days in celebration of my favorite ships and my favorite people on this website and in this fandom.

So, without further ado, my first Valentine goes to @fireflyxrebel , without whom my starx fics + writing presence here would not have existed. Thanks for always being down to chat, Ava, and being the sweetest + most supportive mom friend ever. You’re an astoundingly beautiful, creative, TALENTED human. Love you lots!

Please note - if you’re using tumblr mobile to read this, the formatting will be 100% fucked. I’m not sure why, but there are a lot of random instances of italicization + gross spacing. Sorry <3

Also, not to used cursed terminology, but it’s a tiny bit lemon scented. Or is it lime scented? That’s right, folks, we are BACK on the citrus scale. 

don’t think twice 

How did I live in a kingdom of thieves? 

And people who say things they don’t really mean?

You’re only everything I ever dreamed of.

You must be kidding me, did you really think I could say no?

- Don’t Think Twice, Hikaru Utada

It wasn’t until they had crossed the threshold, their limbs entangled as they landed on the bed, her veil askew and his dress shirt half-unbuttoned, that they realized what they had done.

“Wife,” Gar whispered, nuzzling her neck sweetly. He curled his body around hers, breathing a sigh of relief as they sank into the soft duvet of their bed. 

“It doesn’t feel real, does it?” She mused, studying the silver band on her finger with wide eyes, “after everything that’s happened, I didn’t know if things would ever work.”

He chuckled and pressed a gentle kiss to her temple.

“You had doubts?”

“You didn’t?” 

“Well, I wasn’t sure if you’d make it all the way down the aisle and still say yes.”

She elbowed him sharply, rolling her eyes. 

“Careful, it’s not too late to get an annulment.”

“You’d just do it all over again in two months like we planned,” he said cheekily. 

Raven smiled, raising her hands to cup his face. 

“Yeah,” she agreed, “you’re probably right about that.”

Her cheeks were pink when she leaned in, brushing her lips against his teasingly. He whimpered when she pulled away, catching her palm and pressing his mouth against it, watching her with dark eyes. 

“Help me get ready for bed?” 

The desire that had pooled in his stomach gave way to pure adoration. He nodded and clambered off the bed, bounding over to her side and scooping her up into his arms. 

She suppressed a giggle and wrapped her arms around his neck, allowing him to carry her to the bathroom. 

Gar flicked on the light and whistled, admiring the polished marble and crystalline glow that filled the room.

“Not bad for a shotgun wedding, huh?”

“We owe Kori big time, you know. She was ready to cry when I told her we wanted to elope early.”

“I’m surprised she didn’t follow us here.”

Raven snorted, patting his chest to let her down, “Believe me, she tried. I had to remind her several times that we would still be having a formal ceremony in December. This was her compromise - she insisted on booking the most expensive honeymoon suite in Vegas in exchange for her silence. I have no idea how she’s going to explain that gap in their finances to Dick.”

“Best sister ever,” Gar commented affectionately, nipping his wife’s ear, “okay, where do we start?”

She touched the top of her head and frowned, wrapping her fingers around the band of the veil that was half-attached to her hair. 

“There are some pins here that you could take out. And then start on the buttons on the back of my dress? I can take the choker off myself.”

“Sure.” 

Her hands went to the clasp of the white ribbon around her neck while his combed through her hair, unpinning the purple waves that were contained beneath the sheer fabric. He glanced around the bathroom, his gaze landing on the massive claw-foot tub that sat a few feet away from them. 

“Hey, Rae, how does a bath sound?” He murmured, sliding the veil off of her head and placing it beside the sink.

“Bubbles and all?” 

“I’m on it, can you finish your dress by yourself?”

She nodded, smiling at his reflection in the mirror.

“Just undo the first few buttons and I can do the rest.”

He took his time with them, not missing the opportunity to press his fingers against her bared skin. Her eyes fluttered shut while he did so, her mouth falling open when his breath warmed her flesh. 

“Don’t get distracted,” she warned.

“Me? I would never,” he teased, pressing a kiss to the back of her neck before seating himself on the edge of the tub. He turned on the faucet and placed his fingers beneath the flowing water absentmindedly, his attention fixed on her. 

Gar spent more than his fair share of time wondering how he’d been so lucky. How, after years of fighting and facing the worst of the world, he had wound up tasting heaven and claiming a piece of it for himself. Moreover, allowing himself to be taken time and time again by its allure, ferocity, and wit. 

Even in the weeks leading up to their wedding, a tiny part of him was certain it wouldn’t happen. It couldn’t happen. Arella would withdraw her blessing. Steve and Rita would blow them off in favor of a mission that required their immediate assistance. Something would get in the way. And as the first ceremony neared, Gar began to panic. 

On the sixteenth of October, two full months before their scheduled trip to Azarath and the subsequent white wedding they had planned to host in Jump, Gar asked Raven to marry him again.

She had only raised an eyebrow, shutting the novel in her lap and setting it aside on her bed. 

“I feel like we already had this conversation.”

“I mean, now. Like, now, now.”

She pursed her lips. 

“What about the actual wedding?”

Gar shook his head, bouncing with excitement. 

“Don’t you see? None of that stuff matters, Rae, not when we have each other, not when we want to get married and we’re ready to do it.”

Raven crossed her arms, eyeing him suspiciously.

“Okay, what’s wrong with you? I thought you were excited about doing a bigger thing. The whole Doom Patrol promised to be there, everyone in the Network is showing up, Vic’s been planning the ‘bachelor party of the century’ for ages. My mom’s even convinced the Head Priestess to let us bring the others to Azarath for our binding. We can’t just cancel on these people, Gar.”

“Is there something so wrong with me wanting to be with you for the rest of my life as soon as possible?”

She scowled.

“What is this, do you think we’re going to call it quits five minutes before or something? I planned on being with you for the rest of my life the moment I said yes to you. Isn’t that enough?”

“If words were enough, I wouldn’t have proposed at all.” He snapped, running a hand through his hair. 

“Okay,” Raven said sharply, rising from her seat, “I don’t want this to go any further. We aren’t fighting about this. So you can either tell me why you suddenly want to elope or you can walk away from this conversation, and we can pretend it didn’t happen.”

Gar squeezed his eyes shut and sighed tiredly, rubbing the side of his face.

“Sorry. That was too far, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I know.”

“You know I love you more than anything in the world.”

“I know that too.”

“I just, ah, I guess I’ve been waiting for something to go wrong,” he confessed, fidgeting nervously, “Vic and Sarah had to postpone their wedding twice because things came up. Kori almost died three weeks before her bachelorette party and Dick broke six bones saving someone else on their honeymoon. I’m so fucking tired of being afraid, Rae. I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want anything to get in the way. I just want you to be my wife.”

Her glare softened immediately and she stepped forward, circling her arms around his waist and pressing her cheek to his chest.

“I’ve been picking up waves of concern from you for weeks,” she confessed, “I just didn’t know if you wanted to talk about it. I’m sorry, Gar.”

He dropped a kiss on her head, rubbing her back soothingly.

“I got defensive. I shut you out. That’s my fault, not yours. But I still want to get married, right now.”

“Gar -”

“We don’t have to cancel our other plans, Rae, nothing needs to change! We can sneak off to Vegas tonight and get hitched and nobody would even need to know -”

She rolled her eyes, snuggling into his form.

“Bold of you to assume Kori wouldn’t find out.”

“- about us at the end of the day, right? I just want to be married to you. I want to call you my wife. No matter what goes wrong tomorrow or next week or the night before our marriage.”

“Okay.”

“So I don’t see why we can’t - wait, what?” Gar blinked and gripped her arms, pulling her away from him to study her face, “You mean it? We can go?”

She smiled and touched his cheek. 

“I love you, Gar. I would never say no to marrying you, no matter when you had asked. I just didn’t want you to make a choice you couldn’t defend.”

“So...we’re getting married? Tonight?” 

Raven nodded, gazing into his bright eyes. 

“Let me talk to Kori and see if she can cover for us. Go ahead and pack some stuff together.”

He morphed into a wolf and let out a loud howl, bounding around her excitedly before knocking her to the ground and licking her face enthusiastically.

“Down - boy,” she managed between laughs, scratching behind his ears. She rubbed her cheek against his affectionately and rose from the ground, adjusting her cloak and heading into the hallway. 

It would be a few days before they managed to slip away, having obtained permission and “the essentials that you must take with you if you wish for me to keep your secret!” that were so lovingly bestowed upon them by their dear sister. But in the end, it was absolutely worth it.

“GAR.” 

A loud shriek from Raven broke him out of his reverie, drawing his attention to the scalding water that was burning his hand. Gar yelped and pulled his hand away immediately, wincing at the stinging sensation on his reddened skin.

“Idiot,” Raven scolded, taking his hand in hers tenderly. She clasped her cool fingers around it and closed her eyes, breathing deeply.

“Azarath Metrion Zinthos.”

A gentle trickling washed over the injury, soothing it until the pain had faded to a faint tingling. 

“Thanks, babe. My bad.”

“Go and change out of your suit, I’ll finish making up our bath,” she ordered, shaking her head.

He obeyed immediately, loosening his tie and placing it with the growing pile of her discarded accessories. His suit jacket, dress shirt, and undershirt landed in a crumpled heap on the floor, his dress pants and socks following soon after. A fluffy robe hung invitingly beside the bathroom door and he couldn’t resist slipping into it.

“Done,” he chirped, approaching his new wife, who was also swathed in a fluffy robe identical to his. 

She smiled up at him, drawing her fingers out of the tub and shaking them dry. 

“It’s almost ready, though I’m tempted to just curl up in bed wearing these.”

“The goal is to get naked, not bundle up.”

“Maybe your goal is to get naked,” she shot back, “but mine is to be cozy.”

He grinned.

“We can get cozy and naked. Let me warm you up -”

“Oh look, the bath is full,” Raven said airily, smirking when his ears drooped, “I’ll add the bubbles, you can light the candles.”

“Do you plan on teasing me all night or...?”

She flashed him a rare grin, her dark eyes glinting mischievously.

“Would I really be your wife if I didn’t?”

Gar pouted and wrapped his arms around her waist, burying his face in her hair. 

“I love you.”

“I know.”

“I love you.”

“I know,” she breathed, placing her hands on his and lacing their fingers together.

“We did it. We’re married, Rae.”

His nose sought out her skin, his tongue tracing the shell of her ear slowly. Her dreamy sighs were music to his ears.

The jewel in the center of her forehead flared black for a moment, the lights around them flickering in tandem with each brush of his mouth against her body.  A growl rumbled from deep within his chest, the echoes of his inner beast stirring to recognize their mate. She smelled sweet and clean, like a burst of fresh air on the ocean breeze. 

“Gar,” she murmured, stepping away from the tub, “wait.”

She pushed him off of her gently, biting her lip as she studied him in the soft lighting. His eyes were a warm, dark, emerald shade of green, filled with desire and happiness and longing. His shoulders had broadened in the last few years, complementing his added height and sharpened jaw. But beneath the figure of a man, she could feel the same boy who had called her weird while never truly minding her weirdness. His heartbeat always quickened at her touch. His gaze always brightened. His ears always twitched.

“I love you too,” she whispered, slowly loosening the belt around his waist and pushing the robe off his shoulders. She turned her head, and he followed her gaze, promptly stripping out of his boxers and climbing into the tub. Slowly, with a quiet hesitancy he hadn’t witnessed in a long time, she raised her hand, sending black flashes of energy to each candle that had been placed in the bathroom. Her eyes glowed, and the dimmer on the light switch lowered, leaving them in darkness lit only by gentle flares. 

He watched unashamedly as the robe slipped from her form, revealing a band of dark blue lace that hugged her breasts and hips tightly. A strip of white lace sat high on her thigh, looking strikingly bright against the smooth grey of her skin. 

“Something borrowed and something blue,”  Raven said shyly, “I figured we could keep things a little traditional.”

“Yeah,” Gar replied, mouth going dry at the sight of his near-naked wife in the candlelight, “Something old and something new?”

She neared the edge of the tub, bracing herself with his shoulder and climbing in. 

“The necklace was my mother’s. I’ll wear it again in December. As for the new...”, she stroked his hair gently, “I plan to keep my new husband on my body for the rest of the night. That counts, right?”

“Works for me,” he mumbled, running his hands up her legs. 

“Careful with the garter, that’s borrowed. Feel free to tear into the underwear as you please.”

She stood before him, sighing with delight when he gripped her hips and pressed a kiss against the curve of her waist. He hooked his fingers beneath the garter and slid it down her leg slowly, tossing it in the direction of his discarded clothes before focusing on the dark lace that curved around her ass.

“Hell yes,” he hissed, nipping at the seams with his teeth. 

Bathwater splashed over the edge as his enthusiasm overcame him. She giggled and thrashed in his hold, her laughter turned to breathless moans and pants and cries, some of which were so animalistic they rivaled his own. Waves rode out into a quiet stillness until there was only her body and his, two pieces wrapped together to form a whole. He stroked her skin gently, lavishing the parts that had been darkened by his relentless mouth. They toweled off and drained the tub, wrapped in their fluffy robes once more, and snuggled into their bed, rejoining their bodies over and over again.

When morning came, it was to bring forward the two lovers into the life they truly deserved. 

I want you for a lifetime, so if you’re gonna think twice, baby, 

I don’t wanna know, baby, I don’t wanna know.

Everything is just right, but if you’re gonna think twice, baby, 

I don’t wanna know, baby, I don’t wanna know. 

If you wanna take it to an even higher level, 

all you gotta do is say the word you know I’ll follow,

If you wanna take it to an even higher level,

I don’t, I don’t bite.

#blue writes #happy valentines day! #fireflyxrebel #avaaaaaa i hope you like this!!! #bbrae #lemon scented? #i hate the citrus scale lmao is this limey i dont fuckin know #beast boy #garfield logan #gar logan #raven #raven roth #rachel roth #teen titans #fanfic #don't think twice #this is so GODDAMN LONG #and i have like four more on the way whoops #i love you!!! i hope you had a great vday btw ugh #there are probably like 2000 errors here i was delirious when i started writing it

[firebirdsdaughter]

Hey…

… Hey, wireless?

F YOU.

Okay. Thank god for common sense. I accidentally lost my post bc my wireless conked out.

HOWEVER!

I was wise, and copied the contents. so we have lost nothing but the tags. Which weren’t that interesting any way.

So here we go!

In no order: (also, I apologise for any typos my fingers decided they wanted to type a mile a minute… DX)

Aw, Naohisa (still thinking I’m spelling his name wrong) is giving them science lessons…

That Melto loves and Asuna doesn’t get… XD It’s okay Asuna, I’m not sure I understand, either.

Melto’s so starry-eyed, gods love him. XD

ASUNA.

Aw, Tyramigo. It’s okay, Melto, he doesn’t mean it meanly. ^^

They’re really cute though. XD

I guess Kou got the idea to see the world in his head from watching tv…

But I feel like there are better places to get into the river than jumping over this railing…

THAT LITTLE BLINK BEFORE HE SAYS ‘209’ XD

He’s clearly got no idea why that’s shocking. ^^

UI DON’T JUST ACCEPT THIS! DX

I guess she decided that she couldn’t really tell a 209 year old what to do…

This episode officially made me conclude that Ui and Touwa are the smols. They’re the youngest of the siblings. Kou is next, then Melto and Asuna are like… Twins who are slightly older than him. No one can agree which one of them is older. Banba is obviously the eldest and stuck managing them. Maybe until Gold gets here. Unless he’ll have to manage Gold, too.

Touwa’s fast, but Banba outweighs him… A for effort, though, sweetie. <3

To continue reading foreshadowing in everything… I wonder if Touwa commenting he doesn’t think Banba can lose in one v one means we’re eventually going to see just that happen.

Or, potentially, maybe Banba did once lose to someone in one v one?

Or both?

Touwa, honey, I just want you to know I very much support the concept of you and the others just tackling your brother. Like Merry and Pippin w/ Boromir. Just jump him. He could use the hugs.

Banba gazes majestically off into the distance as he prepares to be angsty.

Banba: ‘People will always betray you.’

Me: ‘Who did this to you? SHOW ME SO I CAN STAB THEM W/ THIS FORK TEN MILLION TIMES???’

I so want whoever hurt him like this to be an absolute dickwad and I want to see them get their asses kicked, esp by some truly pissed off little sibs.

By Banba, too, absolutely. But I would kill for an ep where the kids find out what this person did and go on a roaring rampage of protectiveness for their big brother. TT^TT DX

Touwa definitely doesn’t know what happened… DX I think he knew Banba was distrusting towards others and very much a loner, but he looks so sad and confused that I don’t think he knew it went this deep…

I wanna hug my little green gremlin son, too! DX I WANNA HUG ALL OF THEM!

Eh. I’m sure she’s fine.

Mook suit actors, the unsung heroes of any and all Sentai. XD

Hey, Green final slash! And Black again. ^^

XD Touwa. Banba’s just like ‘irritated growl.’ ^^

I’m… Pretty sure Ui just insulted this guy…?

Okay, here’s the thing. I don’t see nobody glowing green and losing life force. So… Did they just decide not to put that effect in, or… Or did the Minusaur actually come from someone else?

Like… Tall Cheese?

Ahem. Sorry. I mean Fita.

Though she’s not glowing either… Augh. I dunno what I’m saying.

Why would they chain up Ui, but not Kou?

Well done, Kou. ^^ Boy’s clever is a fight. XD

… What the heck was that boise and dramatic shot of her face? Where they just trying to remind us she’s an idol? I think it happened when the brothers find her, too… Does it mean something? Hmm… I dunno.

Kou’s reaction is hilarious, though.

Ui’s neck is gonna hurt later… DX

Okay, but later the brothers wake her up just fine? I guess the effects were only temporary… That’s probably why they chained them up, so that they couldn’t escape even when they woke up.

And… Kou’s sense ends here. Why didn’t you call the others, you dork? XD

Hmm… I miss Tankjoh, but I kinda like the new guy’s music…

I think he’s meant to be a drastically different personality. Where Tankjoh was surly and serious, this guy is bombastic and childish.

These are the most badass children I have ever seen.

Actually, that’s not true, but, they’re up there.

I’m wonder if it’s an effect of the brainwashing.

I love that girl in the lavender sweatshirt who just goes for the spinning kick. XD

Touwa probably bothered Banba until he agreed to bring her here. XD Which may have been easier bc Banba probably didn’t want to have to deal w/ her…

Melto thinking ‘oh, crap, she’s pretentious, the only way we’re gonna get her to talk is… *sigh* okay, someone has to take this bullet, it might as well be me…’

Honestly, though, I think the only other person who would possibly be willing to do that is Touwa, and probably not. Asuna wasn’t taking well to getting ordered around, and Banba would never kneel to anyone (… Well… Actually, no comment). My interpretation is that Melto realises she’s rather high and mighty, and that she’ll respond to an act of 'reverence’ like that, and he knows no one else in the room is gonna be willing to do it w/out complaining. So he just steps in to save them all the trouble. Mom friend to the rescue.

Honestly, it’s very sensible of him. ^^

I need to write more w/ Melto… DX

Banba is the back modelling. Bc boy can���t be in a single scene where he isn’t posing in some way at every opportunity.

XD I WAS RIGHT. ^^

Sorry Short Cheese, Banba doesn’t care if you think he has manners (I wouldn’t be surprised if he tried to ditch her in the forest earlier XD). Touwa looks slightly miffed, but I think he’s less effected by it coming from you. The only one you’re offending is Asuna. And, actually, I’d advise against that.

Hey, isn’t Asuna also technically a noble?

Asuna’s like ‘First off, how dare you? Second, how dare you? And third… How dare you?’

XD This is even funnier bc of one of my casual ships. ^^

Melto hates this so much, but he’s willing to do it to find out what’s happening. XD Poor baby.

Oh, okay. So the mind control is just his thing.

This is so vague I can’t trust it… I mean, I guess most of it could be on the level, but… Hm. I gotta wonder if they were allowed to escape… And what exactly he’s got on them to have them still be doing this? (Bc next ep pretty much reveals they’re trying to trick the team) Is Short Cheese mind controlled? Is Tall Cheese? They repeat her ‘I would risk my own life to save her’ twice this ep, so I’m guessing Tall Cheese/little sister’s life is still in danger somehow…? I dunno. I guess we’ll learn this weekend.

So… What, you can just teleport? Why didn’t you do that when you were running before? SUSPICIOUS?

Also, I’m not sure I trust these flashbacks either, bc they’re from Short Cheese’s point of view, and next ep indicates she wasn’t being on the level w/ the team. I mean, she’s holding that orange rock in a bottle… But… Did it come from her planet? Is it something they stole from the Druidons? Or is there a part of this story that was left out (actually, that much is obvious bc Short Cheese didn’t mention the rock at all), where the Druidon gave it to her? Too many variables, even if I didn’t know they were up to something.

I should note that it’s pretty obvious they’re not actually evil and are being forced into doing this. They’re only here as guest stars and they’re being promoted as being idols (exhibit A, the abrupt song sequence coming up), so I HIGHLY doubt they’re gonna pull out the rug and make them outright evil.

And, anyway, the next ep preview practically confirms that. XD

Girl in the lavender sweatshirt is ready to kill something, I swear.

I also like the boy in the burgundy and white sweatshirt. XD He’s paying such good attention. ^^

Asuna’s offended, Melto’s somewhere else thinking about Wyzul, Banba doesn’t care and Touwa’s in. XD

Touwa clearly here thinking ‘dear god, I know I never want to go through that… O_o’

Honey, I am so sorry, but I make no promises. DX

That’s a very direct question, but no less then I’d expect from Banba. Though also… Kinda odd? What are you trying to establish here, sweetie? Why are you asking this?

This line is very important, clearly. They repeat it twice. Pretty sure it’s to make us understand that whatever is going on next ep, it’s bc the sisters are trying to protect each other. Like I said, I’m presuming that Tall Cheese is actually still in danger somehow.

WHAT WAS HE TRYING TO ESTABLISH W/ THAT QUESTION? And then he just accepts her answer? I’m confused…

I really can’t tell if he’s finding something odd w/ this, or if he’s accepting it bc he’s sympathising w/ her… DX Tatsuya is being unreadable too well! DX

And then she… Just starts singing? Like, I love this show, but… There could’ve been a better lead up to that.

Though I do love Naohisa reacting to the lights. XD

So… Was this just a random musical interlude, or… Was she doing something? I guess it was so that Kou could hear it and make the connection, but the execution could have gone a little better.

Banba takes that extra moment to pose. XD

Untransformed fight! ^^

I love how Banba just delays transforming to take off. :D

I needed to use a new emoticon.

Kou’s little ‘Ah!’ and pointing when the kids show up! XD

Girl in the lavender sweatshirt is going to cut something.

See, this is an effective use of the singing.

Uh… What. Melto, what does that… Whatever. Sentai logic.

Now he says ‘Okay, Tyra!’ instead of just ‘Tyra!’

SOMEONE TEACH HIM TOUWA AND BANBA’S NAMES!

Banba would be SO AWKWARD. XD

Oh, NOW you transform. XD Well, we wouldn’t have had that beautiful weapon toss if you had before. ^^

See? We bring up the line again, and there’s a weird sound cue? Does it mean anything?

Touwa sees the other smollest sib and must immediately go help her. XD

I do like the improve mobility of this mech. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely adored the clusterfuck of orbs that was the Kyuranger mecha, but… It’s nice to seem something more dynamic once in a while?

Kudos the new suit actor, too. Whose name still escapes me… DX

Convenient train tracks. XD Sentai logic.

Actually, just Toku logic.

I love MirNeedle and his honk and his spinning attack. XD

Could you be more tsundere in one sentence???

Touwa’s just like ‘stages of realising your brother is a tsundere, stage 3: acceptance’

Kou doesn’t mind, though. XD

I do think Banba is starting to kind of like the trio, but boy is very damaged and the concept scares him, so he’s trying to fight it as much as possible, even though it’s just kind of a slight, vague fondness at this point.

Like, eventually, he’s going to end up adopting them, it’s going to happen, he’s going to have at least four younger sibs, actually five. But we’re not there quite yet.

I would love a ‘we’re not each other’s only family anymore’ sort of thing from the brothers. Or maybe one of the trio telling them that. XD

One day, a Mosasaurus will be in that empty spot, I bet.

Melto and Banba on the same wavelength. ^^

So… The Minusaur host is dead now?

This is cute, but I already know there’s more to this.

XD Oh, Banba. You’re starting to like them, I know you are. You’re not getting out of this. Though I do get why you really don’t want that to happen.

Though I do think his getting emotional next week is a partially due to it. ^^ Like, yes, there’s the fact that he’s mad at Kou for being too trusting, and that it might be dangerous for all of them/earth, but… I dunno. Probably overthinking.

But I’m gonna wax on about that shot in the preview later, don’t worry. XD

Or worry, if you don’t want to hear my rambling. In… Which case why would you even be reading this.

Melto on point again. XD I really need to write more w/ you… DX

Though on the other hand, I guess there’s a possibility that she could have read it in Naohisa’s papers at the house, or he said it to her. But she didn’t seem interested in the research, and they could just ask Naohisa if he mentioned it.

Hm… Maybe they’re waiting to update the ED until Gold gets here.

Why does Kou have the inflation Soul activated?

… That sounds like he knows way  more about economics than he actually does. XD

As far as the preview, I like the drama that seems to be happening. ^^ Maybe they’ll finally give us some slightly more concrete info on what happened to Banba. Or just… Anything about the brothers’ past? And what about that hooded person? The sisters are up to something, but they’re obviously being forced into it somehow, Wyzul is definitely the sneaky type. We’re also heading into May, which means DimeVolcano and possibly Gaisorg/Gaisoulg? Though he wasn’t in any of the scans so even if his figurine is releasing, we likely won’t be seeing him until the very end/month after.

Pleasedon’tbeGoldpleasedon’tbeGoldpleasedon’tbeGold.

There are so many better possibilities. DX I know who I want it to be (even though I don’t strictly know ‘who’ that is XD), but there are other possibilities too.

And while I would like to see next ep, I am also curious about the arc coming after it. I really wanna know if my crazed visual analysis madness was right about it only being the kids who are trapped in Wonderland and Banba is trying to get them out. I wanna know.

Hm… Does anyone know where the ‘newspaper summaries’ come from? Like, we got the ones from 5 to 7… Are we gonna get ones for 8 to 11 at some point?

I am an impatient baby. DX ^^;

That’s all folks! Virtual chocolate eclairs for anyone who read all that. But, actually, that’s not all! I still wanna ramble about something—namely, and silly personal theory/hc of mine.

Bc of this face:

Okay, so. During that conversation where Banba did the whole ‘Kindness can make one weak’ thing, I mentioned that I found Kou’s reaction interesting? Bc it might’ve been in his characterisation to get mad and insist that kindness does not make people weak—esp since he clearly still doesn’t think that. But instead, he just looked a little hurt, and looked sad? Like… It seemed to me he was more saddened that Banba thought that way at all than being offended by the statement. Not ‘how could you think that?!’ but more… Like ‘that’s so sad that you’ve been made to believe that?’ If that makes sense? That somehow, Kou caught on that Banba has this view bc he was hurt terribly in the past? And then there’s this face here. Boy looks like a sad puppy. It’s totally my skewed interpretation bc I had that thought before, but to me it looks like he’s looking at Banba like… Empathetically? Like he pities him? So now I’m falling even deeper into the idea that Kou doesn’t find Banba’s distrust of others insulting of offensive in anyway, but is just sad for the fact that someone could come to think that way. Realises that Banba is like this bc he got hurt and is scared, and is just heartbroken by that? That someone could get hurt so badly that they lose faith in nearly all goodness in the world? I might like it if there’s a moment where Kou proves he’s more thoughtful than he seems (like, he can be thoughtful, he has his moments—though he is still an impulsive, goofy doofus) by, like, outright asking Banba what happened to him. That’d def throw Banba for a loop, I think. This is, of course, just my overthinking and incoherent rambling. But I do like the idea. ^^ Last note: my god Tatsuya has pretty eyelashes! DX

#Kishiryu Sentai Ryusoulger #Ryusoulger Spoilers #my precious Dino Children #and that #kids #is why you copy the text of your posts #^^ #as for the tags… #it was mostly just a repeat of what I had written up there #and I rambled about how I wanted to hug them all #so could they please hug each other #I would really love if—when they all find out about what happened to Banba #they just hug him #XD #y'all need some comforting and affectionate physical contact #so HUG EACH OTHER #DX #I love five (5) beautiful colourful Dino Knights #Birthday Sentai #Dino Dragon Knights And Their Cat

[crowecreates]

In regards to me being quiet and also my posts from a few days ago!! Thank u everyone for the kind words and support so here’s an update!

LOOONG POST sorry mobile users! tw: depression/ death/ abuse

This is basically my story from the past two years and also a big thing that happened two nights ago. Skip to the last like 3 paragraphs if you just want like the recent update thats fine!

To start with this has been like a really rough summer I’m so sorry to basically everyone for anything from ignoring messages/ taking like a million years to respond/ dropping the ball on plans and communications big time and stuff. I’ve kind of gone into autopilot and it’s not even a good autopilot I’ve just been like going to work, eating, and sleeping. The sole reason to this is that even though I know its been a few months but my best friend died april and im still struggling with depression and stuff ect ect I literally don’t think I’ve gone a single day without thinking about her so there’s that and I def have gotten a lot better overall but like. I think it will still take some time for me to really bounce back. 

I used to go to scad/ art school but when she was diagnosed and they knew she wouldn’t make it I came home because I literally couldn’t function living two hours away and knowing that she was dying and I was missing the last time we would get to spend together. It didn’t help that ALS took her ability to communicate even via text really early on so unless I was like physically with her I wasn’t able to communicate. Also before she was even diagnosed her father refused to take her to doctors visits/the hospital because he didn’t think she was sick so it was on me and our other best friend to literally pick her up (she couldn’t stand unassisted) and take her to these appointments. I was the one that took her to the emergency room when the neurologist said something was seriously wrong and her dad refused to do it like I came to her house and picked her up and walked her out the door as she said goodbye to her dad and he just sat on the couch ignoring her even as she said good bye again and again. I sat in the ER for almost twelve hours as we waited for a room like i held her so she could get urine samples and we watched vine compilations and stuff and laughed about it but after this i only lasted like a month at school before i had a huge breakdown and returned home to spend time with her permanently. 

WELL back to bad dads and tying this into what happened this week I am in $97k debt from having gone to art school. I will be well over 100k after I finally graduate. 

The only reason I went to an expensive art school is me and my sister used to have a college fund. Like enough to cover BOTH of our tuition's at any school. My dad spent it. On planes and boats and cars and motorcycles. Over and over again. BUT when I was crying in the living room about how I just wanted to go to art school because I wanted to be an artist he promised he would help me and we would be able to do it and he’d pay for it. 

Well! When I came home from school because like my best friend was dying I got an update on that and it was: he is not actually paying for it.

My dad cheated on my mom tons during their marriage. He was also (as I’m learning now) emotionally abusive and manipulative. Also he tried to steal my sister at one point?? Thats new information and I don’t know how to process it but. Anyways. After my parents divorced he moved away pretty soon after like two hours away which he wasn’t supposed to do he was supposed to stay close to me and my sister till we graduated highschool. He moved even further away and pretty soon we only saw him maybe once or twice a year. Sometimes he would pass through our town to go to a biking festival or something and he wouldn’t visit us. He might stop by for a single lunch but basically he singlehandedly seperated himself from us.

My dad is incredibly wealthy. He makes a three figure salary and lives really minimilstically. EXCEPT for the fact that he is . constantly. blowing thousands and thousands of dollars on cars and motorcycles. He grows bored of them and gets new ones every few months. He also puts thousands of dollars into tricking them out with surround sound systems and special lights that project pictures onto sidewalks and ect. Hes also constantly cycling through girlfriends and cheating on them as well. Even the moving thing is just because he grows constantly bored of everything and moves on as he pleases. He also complains constantly about spending money on me and my sister despite the fact that he goes on luxury vacations and is constantly buying vehicles and stuff. He once got mad that I said my mom spends child support on electricity bills. “That moneys not for her its for you guys” and i was just like “how do . you think she affords a house for us to live in”

Like I cannot stress enough my moms household was WAY living below the poverty line for almost my entire childhood to when I left for college and my dad is making over 10k a month and complaining about being poor. 

But heres’ the big thing. my dads anger issues made visiting him really stressful. I would honestly forget how bad they were until something would trigger him and me and my sister would like crawl away and wait it out. One time he accidentally tracked dog poop into the house and lost it so bad he closed me and my sister into the room and we could just hear him breaking things and yelling and like as a teen/kid that’s scary.

=

So with all that said here’s what happened Wednesday. We were in the car to visit fireworks. His current gf is a cop and while we were turning out of his neighborhood she made a really lighthearted joke about his driving (he has bad road rage and also drives poorly for fun) I don’t know why but this really pissed him off like. A lot. It escelated severely and Its hard to really paint the picture via text but his gf ended up in hysterics asking him to stop or she would jump out of the car. He was spinning the car out on the highway and alternating between literally ~100mph and slamming on the breaks for no reason. He was going all over all three lanes. The gf was like “stop your children are in the car” and he was just completely ignoring her. She then tried to back peddle and apologize and like hug and consul him but he still ignored her. We drove like that for 30 minutes and honestly it was terrifying and I genuinely thought we would crash (we almost did twice.)

At the fireworks he ignored us almost the entire time. He yelled at me once and pretended he couldn’t hear us. He drove recklessly on the way back. Me and my sister basically went to bed early and I decided we would leave the next day. He came in and realized we were packing to leave. At first he was angry and accused me of taking my anger out on him but I sat him down and basically confessed like. Everything he’s ever done and how me and my little sister are done. I’m tired of him getting so angry we get scared. I’m tired of him endangering our lives and pretending it didn’t happen the next day. I’m tired of him flaunting his wealth as me and my sisters household has lived below the poverty line our entire childhood. He started to cry and said he never gets to see us and I said that’s his fault. He said he barely has any family left and I wasn’t being fair. I pointed out its his fault he moved away. He goes on vacations across the country and goes on cruises but he can’t even be bothered to visit us when we beg him to as he passes through our town on his way to bike week. He went back to anger and said I was over reacting. Then he said it’s not fair that I have kept this all in  and never talked to him about it. I have tried! I’ve tried talking about it. I’ve tried ignoring it and forgiving it. I’ve even tried talking with him seriously about his behavior but he always pretends he can’t hear. Literally a few nights prior to this I confessed I wish I had never gone to art school and that he hadn’t lied about helping me pay for college and he ended the conversation by ignoring me and turning the tv up. I told him standing up to him is hard for me as his kid and even though I’m 23 its not any easier. And I can’t imagine how this is for my sister because at 17 I definitely would not have been able to have this conversation. My sister was crying and said she used to get jealous of kids who got to see their dads every day because hers wasn’t around. She later said she wanted to say more but it was too hard and she was still scared.

He immediately stopped being sad and went back to slamming the door and things around as soon as we left the room. We drove back home immediately after. I haven’t heard from him since and honestly I’ve been cycling through guilt anger and sadness. I can’t believe I finally got almost all of it off my chest. I feel guilty that I left him alone on a holiday. I’m mad that he didn’t do more. Whatever!! I guess! anyways but thank you all for you kind messages and distractions this has officially been the hardest year of my adult life but. I guess. Thats just how adulthood be sometimes.

Tl;dr dads anger issues scared me and my sister and i genuinely thought for a few seconds on wednesday night i was going to die so I finally stood up to my dad and called him out for everythign hes put us through but its still uhh hard to deal with on top of everything else

#long post #personal #sad #uhh #rant

[bpdmisadventuresandme-blog]

Prison....That caught your attention now, didn't it !?

PART ONE of TWO:

I consider myself to be a empathetic person with values and morals that are considerably higher than most ...and I ended up in prison.

In 2018 I suffered from one of the worst mental health breakdowns in memory, but it happened in such a way that I didn't get the ‘normal’ psych inpatient intervention which may or may not have stopped what happened next. I was admitted for two weeks when it really should have been two months tbf.

I think its safe to say I had many issues that combined to make my health shatter. I had an random attack happen on my doorstep, Members of my family lied to me and caused me significant distress, I lost regular access to my children through no fault of my own, I was recovering from a rape and I had been using drugs to minimise the pain , ie , making me actually feel worse :( 

I was seeing the local CMHT and was on near daily visits from my CPN. Id just managed to open up about the rape and to share with her how id gone to the local assault centre for texts and evidence gathering but was not coping with the flashbacks and triggering nature of this event and my past.  So there I was disclosing my deepest fears and this was the point when she decided to tell me I was no longer going to be under her care due to team shifts. Now I'm a severe BPD sufferer at the best of times, so I take rejection and things such as this hard , let alone when I'm in a fragile state and unloading huge personal feelings on to the only person id trusted in a long time. 

Its fair to say it wasn't a therapeutic way to change over my care. Time wise and the nature in which it was carried out.

Soooooo , that's the brief background to where I was as an individual when I did something bad.

As I've mentioned the rape happened at a point where I had reached my limit, it also was the straw that broke the metaphorical camels back. I remember saying to the solicitor assigned to me after the event that all my past roared up to meet me and thundered between my ears making it hard to think, see or acknowledge a reasonable amount of self awareness within myself. 

I attempted to hurt the person responsible for my rape. 

I handed myself into the local police station within mins of my criminal actions.

I cooperated at every stage.

I was kept overnight in my local police cells and took to court the following day. I was actually given bail with conditions of not contacting the witness (ironically also the perpetrator) until my court date and as such made my way home. When I was arrested my phone was taken to use as evidence and it was 3 days later when I was given my mobile back from the police as they had done what they needed to do with it. Its safe to say I prob would never have ended up in prison if the next part hadn't happened. Upon receipt of my phone and turning it on I received up to 5 text messages in quick succession from the perpetrator of the rape against me, the texts consisted of items such as “I'm sorry for what happened, please come see me” or “We need to talk, please come to mine “ . I lost it and replied with lines along “How dare you message me , I won't come near you again, you know what you did to me for me to attempt to hurt you” etc etc. Guess what I played right into his hands. Within 24 hrs I was back at the police station for breaking my bail conditions. 

Yep. Shitty. But technically I had done just that by replying. Another three nights in the cells on suicide watch as id informed them id rather die than be locked up for replying to antagonising texts from my rapist. Suicide watch and anti ligature clothing meant I made it through the night and back into court on the Monday. This time the judge said he had no choice but to send me to jail for breaking my bail. He took into account the circumstances but stated “court orders and bail conditions can't be broken and a punishment must be given”.

The numbness was a blessing as I was kept in the holding room under the court with a cup of something that resembled coffee.... or piss . Could have been either tbf. 

The trip down the motorway to the nearest women jail was long and bumpy. The ‘cells’ are all enclosed and with plastic slippery seating so I ended up on the floor once or twice. Always wondered since, how ironic it is that prison vans don't have seatbelts. Arrived at 6.35pm after being in court at 11am , registration begins and amounts other things this involves collaboration of information with a prison officer regarding scars and tattoos on my body. Fifteen tattoos and hundrends of scars later, a mental health checklist is shoved under my nose and its no surprise that I tick all of the “current issues” such as self harm, suicidal ideation, suicide attempts, ligature use, depression, anxiety and so on and so forth. This meant I was put on a ACCT, which was equivalent to an outside ‘care in the community plan’. This would eventually mean I had a case manager, Psychosocial team (SMPT) mental health team and a OMU (offender management unit team member) to ‘ensure’ I had the right level of support whilst in prison. I was allowed one call and I tried to reach my best friend (now my partner but that's another blog post!) but I couldn't which I didn't realise would mean id have to wait nearly 10 days before his number would be put on the prison calling system. I was fed. Microvawable meal which if I had known what prison food was like actually at mealtimes id have gobbled it all up but as it was stress and anxiety had made it hard to stomach.

Then I was taken to the “Newbies” wing , which consisted of two floors, the upper for prisoners suffering with drug withdrawals etc and the lower for prisoners without drug and alcohol issues. 

To be continued in Part2.... underestimated how much id have to say . Now that's a rare occurrence !!!!!

#prison #mental heath support #mental #mental health #bpd #bpdmisadventures #custody #arrest #trauma #trigger #thinline #whatisacriminal criminality

[ckret2]

The Door In Petrex’s Quarters

So there’s a cool new blog on Tumblr called @tfspeedwriting where they post a bunch of prompts on Saturday and you choose one and writing something! There’s basically no rule except that you have to do it in under two hours. So anyway this took me about four hours, which were spread out over a total of ten hours.

I’m good at this game.

(If you're on mobile, the readmore malfunctions, and you gotta scroll past all this, I'm sorry for your suffering.)

Prompt: Pick a music playlist on a device of your choice. The second line of the third song is your prompt. (“Song 3”—I swear the title’s a coincidence—by Stone Sour: “So I'll keep you close, and keep my secret safe.”) Continuity: made-up Shattered Glass AU for IDW continuity Ship: Prowl/Tarantulas, but you’ll wish it wasn’t. Wordcount: 5200-ish Summary: They say that Petrex, leader of the Autobot Justice Division, can’t feel love. Petrex prefers it that way. Or: how Prowl tamed his pet scientist. Tags: Angst, abusive relationship, all hurt no comfort.

They say there's a doorway in Petrex's private quarters where his berth is supposed to be.

It's an empty metal doorframe. The space where there should be a door is filled by cement mixed with strange, dark, multicolor rubble. They say that Petrex sleeps on it, curled up on his side, a hand pressed against the surface of the shut doorway like he wants to press through to the other side.

They say the door still works. They say it goes somewhere. They say all you have to do is turn it on.

They say a lot of things about Petrex.

They say the reason that he wears a cold white Autobrand-shaped mask is because he has a cold white Autobrand-shaped face underneath, and that he'd rather people think he's hiding his expressions than let them know he doesn't have any expressions at all. He is as icy, and as hard, and as unmovable, and as implacable as marble; and Terminus save your ember if you dare try to chip that marble.

They say that nobody has ever joined the Autobot Justice Division willingly—nobody except for Petrex, its founder, its leader, and its symbol. They say that every member of the Autobot Justice Division is someone who tried to flee or betray the Autobots, but who had potential, had a use; and so, as their punishment, instead of adding them to the AJD's list for retribution, Petrex added them to the AJD itself, chained them in service to himself, and turned them into essential cogs in the machine that grinds up other criminals and turncoats.

They say he's not a person, but a drone, a machine designed for order and logic and laws, capable only of understanding emotions in a theoretical sense, and then only far enough to determine how he might make use of them.

Petrex doesn't deny anything anyone says about him.

"Mesothulas. Mesothulas!"

Mesothulas started, almost dropping his welder. Terminus below, he wasn't expecting Prowl so soon—he wasn't supposed to come for another two weeks, was he? Why was he early? Had something gone wrong, had his latest offering malfunctioned? Part of him hoped desperately that it had; the rest of him dreaded the consequences of such a failure. Maybe Prowl had forgotten their schedule and come early? Mesothulas had never known him to do so before, but oh, if he had, if he was expecting Mesothulas's next work to be done today and it wasn't— Or, even worse, what if Prowl was right on time, what if Mesothulas had forgotten the schedule—

"I'm here!" He dropped the welder to the floor, ran for the stairs to the lab entryway, skidded an about face to go turn off the welder, and sprinted for the stairs—woe to him if he kept Prowl waiting a second too long. "I'm here, I'm here, I—I'm so sorry, Prowl, I didn't know you were coming. I was working, I'm sorry."

Prowl was standing, waiting, in the middle of the entryway. (Ostaros was so close to him, just a few feet to Prowl's left. Mesothulas's plating crawled—he shouldn't have left Ostaros out in the open like that. What if Prowl spotted him, decided after all that work that he didn't like the result? If anything happened to him—) His helmet was already off, tucked under one arm, and his red optics were so bright they were pink, nearly the same shade as Mesothulas's armor. Was he mad or happy? Mesothulas couldn't tell from the top of the stairs.

"I should hope you were working," Prowl said. "You've only got a couple of weeks left to finish the guilt extractor." So Mesothulas hadn't forgotten their schedule—that was a relief. But then why was he here?

"Yes, I know, I—I'm right on schedule, it'll be done in time." He stopped at the bottom of the stairs, and waited, his heels pressed up against the bottom step, not taking a step closer.

And then Prowl walked toward him. Mesothulas's ember jumped into his throat. The way Prowl moved—even in armor—Mesothulas could practically visualize how his joints moved underneath it. There was such control, such confidence, such precision in his motions; he radiated such strength that Mesothulas felt weaker just for being in his presence. Everything Prowl did made him feel weaker. His fuel tank fluttered, his ember guttered, his fans sputtered.

When he was alone, he told himself that it was fear—very rational fear, for more than once he and his slipped schedule had been on the receiving end of the infamous wrath of the Autobot Justice Division's Petrex.

("I'll teach you to keep on schedule," Prowl had said before; and it was both an indulgent offer to take him under his wing and a threat. "Every cog ticks in time around me. I make sure of it.")

Yes—Mesothulas told himself the weakness he felt around Prowl was born of fear. But when he was in Prowl's presence, he knew that was only half true.

When he was with Prowl, he was almost desperate to impress him.

Words tumbled out of him: "I'm—I'm almost done with the guilt extractor, actually. Ahead of schedule." It was risky business to tell Prowl when he was ahead of schedule. On the one hand, yes, he'd be immediately gratified with Prowl's approval—and oh, when Prowl approved of him, it was heavenly. For a moment, on the timepiece that was Prowl's carefully-wound life, Mesothulas was a jewel mounted in the center of its face, sparkling in the light of Prowl's delight. But Prowl never forgot a promise; and when Mesothulas promised a faster delivery, Prowl updated his expectations accordingly. If he fell behind again, it meant Prowl's wrath was twice as hot; because now, not only had he failed to meet Prowl's schedule, he'd also lied about getting ahead and maliciously stolen some of Prowl's approval.

(So Prowl made him feel, anyway. Sometimes Mesothulas nearly believed it.)

But the way Prowl's optics lit up made Mesothulas immediately forget the consequences. The consequences would come later. Today—now—Prowl's arms were outstretched, and he said, voice a little louder, "That's wonderful!" Prowl's tone of voice never changed; it only got louder or softer, and either direction could be good or bad; but whichever direction it went, it could make Mesothulas's ember flicker with fear or blaze with joy and longing for more. "I can expect it sooner, then. Would you say by the end of the week."

Without stopping to think, Mesothulas said, "Without a doubt," and immediately felt faint; although he wasn't sure whether it was from the monumental scale of this promise, or from the way Prowl's arms wrapped around him: one pressed to his upper back, pulling Mesothulas's face against the chest of his armor; and one pressed lower on his back, so suggestively low that Mesothulas's armor burned where Prowl's fingers touched him. Mesothulas's own fingers burned as well, itching with the urge to wrap his arms around the thick waist of Prowl's rad suit—but to do so without explicit permission was dangerous. Mesothulas had courted enough danger by promising the guilt extractor so soon.

"Good," Prowl said—his voice was so soft now, and Mesothulas's legs were weak. "I'll hold you to it."

Mesothulas's ember filled with dread, and he wanted even more to wrap himself around Prowl—not just physically, but spiritually, to bind himself to his... to his perverse muse, the walking inspiration for all the most wondrous things he'd ever created.

"But that's not what I'm here about."

... And the most horrible things. He tensed with the urge to pull back, but couldn't. Not until Prowl was ready to let him go.

"Oh, I've—" Mesothulas spoke quickly, "—I've been working on another project too, since I'm getting so far ahead on the guilt extractor—you'll be pleased, I'm sure—it's the one you thought up, to make use of all those scraps of reality I've got sitting around—"

"I'm sure I will be pleased." Prowl finally let go, and stepped back, and Mesothulas wasn't sure if that was a good sign or not. "But that's not what I'm here for, either." His head dipped down slightly, and not for the first time Mesothulas marveled through his fear at how much Prowl could express through nothing but the tilt of his head and the way his gaze came through his mask. "And I know a distraction when I hear it."

"I—I'm sorry, I just thought you'd want to—"

"Mesothulas."

"Yes! Forgive me! Y-you were saying? You're here about—?"

"Carpessa."

Mesothulas's fuel tank twisted. He had heard of the neutral city. He'd never been there before. He had no connection to it. Prowl had never mentioned it before. Mesothulas knew exactly what happened to it. "Th... The bomb...?"

"Worked flawlessly," Prowl said, and the bottom of Mesothulas's twisted fuel tank dropped out completely. "I don't know how you managed to cobble together a bomb out of pathetic Decepticon parts that has such explosive capacity, and yet can still be mistaken for something they made—but I must hand it to you, everyone was fooled. Even the Prime is marveling at their unanticipated savagery. This will throttle their chances to get any interstellar allies rallying behind their cause, when they can't play the poor innocent victims. A job well done, Mesothulas. For the most part."

Every word was an icicle through Mesothulas's ember. It took him several tries to choke out the word, "S-survivors?"

Prowl hesitated. "Too many," he said. "There were less than fifteen hundred fatalities. That's why I'm here, to discuss my requirements for the next model. Which I'd like you to get to work on as soon as possible. I was going to give you an extension on the guilt extractor so you could begin to work on the bomb immediately, but if you think you can be done in a week, then you can finish it first and get to work on the next bomb—"

"No."

He hadn't planned it. He hadn't meant to say it. And if he had the choice, he'd rather throw himself on Terminus's teeth than spend one more nanosecond watching in horror as Prowl's head slowly tilted down, and his optics blazed brighter.

Quietly, Prowl said, "No."

For a moment, the lab was so quiet, Mesothulas could hear Ostaros's vents cycling air. Ostaros. Never mind what Prowl might do to him—what might he do to Ostaros? Prowl could rip Mesothulas to shreds, but the mere thought of him scratching Ostaros's soft paint, the enamel hadn't even cured yet—

"Well," Prowl said, just as quietly, "if you'd rather keep to the original schedule, then—take the extension on the guilt extractor, and work on it and the bomb simultaneously..."

For a moment, the heavens opened up, a beam of light shone down on Prowl, and a holy chorus played. Prowl didn't offer second chances. Never. The Autobot Justice Division culled and amputated all limbs of the Autobot Army that no longer served what Petrex considered to be their appropriate purpose. Weakness was to be eradicated. Mesothulas should have been honored to be so indulged after wavering from the path Prowl had assigned him. All he had to do was accept it, and get back to work. Continue singing the songs his muse wrote for him. All would be well and beautiful, and if Mesothulas was good, every once in a while Prowl would touch him as kindly as he had a moment ago.

And there would be more Carpessas.

No. No, he couldn't, not again. Damn whatever Prowl might do to him—to them—oh, Ostaros, Mesothulas is so sorry—but Mesothulas and Ostaros were only two people. How many had died in Carpessa? He couldn't let it happen again.

His voice was barely a whisper. "I can't."

Prowl's optics flashed brighter, and Mesothulas flinched. "Excuse me." Yet another chance to correct his errant wording. Mesothulas was drowning in indulgences today. He wondered if Prowl had ever before been so lenient with anyone else. If he was smart, he'd take this chance.

But Carpessa. "Forgive me, I'm sorry, I—"

Prowl lunged forward, seizing him by the collar of his chestplate, and Mesothulas cried out, nearly sobbing. "You've always been so obedient," he hissed. "You've done your job so well. It's what I like so much about you." (Even now, ready to die, Mesothulas's ember blazed brighter at the praise. Terminus, Terminus, Mesothulas would do anything for Prowl—not just out of fear—but he couldn't do this. Over a thousand lives were already on his hands.) "After all that, you haven't suddenly developed a streak of naughtiness, have you."

"No! Never!" Mesothulas grabbed at Prowl's gauntleted hand. "I—I'm still useful to you, I swear! I can build you more troops—reliable troops—without waiting for Terminus to reawaken—"

"Surely you're not referring to your vapid pet project that smiled at me when I came in."

"He's not done. When he's finished—"

"I asked for a bomb!" He shook Mesothulas to emphasize the word. This time Mesothulas did sob.

"Wh-w-what about the guilt extractor? Or—or the project with the reality scraps? I've stitched it into a serviceable prison, I—I could show—"

Prowl shook Mesothulas again, and he fell silent. But Prowl said nothing. It was more terrifying than anything he might have said. Even a death sentence would end the suspense.

But finally—voice back at its usual volume—he said, "Show me."

Surely, no one in all of Cybertronian history had been shown as much mercy as the merciless Prowl had shown to Mesothulas today. "Oh—th-thank you—you'll be so pleased, I'm sure of—"

"Just move." Prowl let go of Mesothulas, and shoved him backwards. He tripped backwards on the stairs, crashed down, and for a moment in his panic actually tried to clamber up them backwards on his hands and heels before he managed to roll over and rush to his feet.

"This way!" He took the stairs two at a time, and heard Prowl following heavily behind.

He had to get out. He couldn't stay here, not like this. This would only work as a distraction, and Mesothulas couldn't risk Ostaros's life again. He'd done it in the spur of the moment, but next time he'd be weak, he knew it. It wouldn't be long before Prowl figured out he could get whatever he wanted if he threatened Ostaros.

He'd get through this. He'd hand over his prison if Prowl asked for it. And then he and Ostaros had to disappear.

"I call it the Noisemaze. It's—I-it's—" He'd had a description of it he'd been working on, trying to figure out how to convey what it was while leaving out all the words like horrifying and monstrous and unconscionable, all the little descriptors that Prowl didn't like to hear Mesothulas say; but the words failed him now, and all he could say about it was, "it induces sensory overload."

"Is that it."

"Extreme sensory overload," Mesothulas protested. Keep talking, keep talking, impress him. "The kind that—that completely fills your RAM. You can't think through it. It destroys all higher rational thought." He entered the room where he'd been working on the Noisemaze, looked around for something other than the doorframe to focus on—there was the welder he'd discarded, he should pick it up—and tried not to think about whether offering Prowl this torture prison was any less evil than bombing civilians. At least a bomb was quick. (Evil, that was what it was—that was what he was, now—he'd done evil. He'd done evil for Prowl.)

"How painful."

"I can think of nothing more painful." He set the welder on a workbench, and climbed up the two-step pedestal so he could flip the switch on the side of the frame. A hum, and the shadows of the room were stirred with soft, moving turquoise and orange lights. "It's—unending torment. It skips straight past the more fragile vectors for pain—limbs, nerves, all of them are things that can be destroyed, turned off, or burned out. But the Noisemaze attacks your mind directly. It harms you through your senses without harming your senses. Nothing you can do will turn off or block the barrage except destroying your own senses, all of them—but the Noisemaze would leave your mind too addled and overloaded on pain to even think of such a thing." It wasn't the description he'd meant to go for, but he was fairly certain he'd left out any words that would make Prowl tetchy. Prowl didn't care how awful it sounded, as long as Mesothulas didn't imply that to do it was wrong.

Prowl ambled around it, examining the controls. "And it's finished, you say. You certainly showed initiative."

"Well—the hardware used to access it needs some refining—the prototype is practically held together with hot glue and scotch tape—but the Noisemaze itself, it'll hold together indefinitely." He leaned an elbow on the doorframe to gaze into the Noisemaze. The landscape shifted and the sky spun, and even with the thin membrane of the doorway separating him from the maze, watching it undulate and roil made him dizzy. How many would Prowl put in here? Maybe he could find a way later to steal it back. Once he and Ostaros were out of here—he could get Ostaros with one of the neutral populations fleeing the planet, he could join the Decepticons, use his inventing abilities and knowledge of Prowl for good—

He heard Prowl climbing the doorframe's pedestal, right behind him; and yet, he still flinched when Prowl's arms wrapped, slowly, gently, around his waist. "It's beautiful." Prowl's voice was a whisper; and his fingertips grazed across Mesothulas's stomach so softly, so tenderly, it almost made him cry. "The perfect prison for the Autobot Justice Division's needs. The ultimate tool for reform—destroy their mind and remake it."

Mesothulas's abdominal armor trembled under Prowl's touches, and the Noisemaze spun nauseatingly before his optics. Oh Prowl, love him, praise him, use him, keep holding him just like that. Mesothulas couldn't leave, he couldn't leave. He'd get Ostaros away and bear the punishment for it, but he couldn't leave. "Is—is th... I didn't think the AJD focused on reform? Just punishment?"

"We reform a few," Prowl said. "The few cogs that aren't too broken or too dull to be of use, but rather would help the Autobot machine tick more efficiently, if only the rough edges could be sanded smooth." One hand grazed Mesothulas's waist, leaving a path of tingling light in its wake as it languidly circled around to the small of his back. "The ones like you."

Mesothulas's spark froze. "Wha—?"

He tried to twist at the exact moment Prowl shoved him. He grabbed Prowl's gauntleted wrist. "Prowl!" He hung by one hand and the tip of one foot in reality; his other arm and leg wheeled wildly in the Noisemaze, trying to help him keep balance, but he couldn't even tell which direction he was spinning them. A dozen directions at once. Prowl's mask melted and twisted in front of his optics. "Please! Don't— I— Take me— Ostaros—"

"When you get out," it looked like the Autobrand had melted onto Prowl's face, like it moved and shifted with his words, like he spoke through its mouth, "I expect your head to be empty of everything except thoughts of obeying me. If your Noisemaze works as well as you say, that should be no problem."

"No, no, no no no no—" He managed to get his other hand back through the portal, and the tip of his other foot, and he grabbed Prowl's hand. Prowl's optics blazed bright, the same pink as Mesothulas's armor. (Was it still pink? He couldn't see himself anymore, he was turning black, only his hands and the tips of his feet still looked pink.) "Please." He squeezed Prowl's hand. "Please."

Prowl stared at him, even as the edges of his face started to fall apart. And then he squeezed Mesothulas's hand back. Hope surged. Was he reconsidering? He was going to pull Mesothulas back in, this had just been to scare him, he still had one more chance—

"When you get out, you're going to make me an army, Mesothulas. Just like Ostaros." With his free hand, Prowl unlatched his gauntlet. It slid off and Mesothulas tumbled into madness.

The lab was dusty; the lights were out. Everything that Prowl could find an off switch for had been shut down months ago; everything he couldn't, had been left to run or burn out. Something had exploded. A couple of wings of the lab were rubble, now. Radiation from outside leaked in through a destroyed wall. Prowl had sealed all the doors he could between here and there, but he still wouldn't dare so much as take off his rad suit's helmet inside the lab.

A second suit was settled against the wall, waiting for a passenger, as Prowl ascended the pedestal to the Noisemaze's doorframe. Six months was long enough. Mesothulas was ready to come back.

Prowl pulled the lever to open the door.

Nothing happened.

He turned it off, and back on. And again. And again, more forcefully. "No." He looked down, getting off the pedestal, dropping to his knees to check the power cables. He grabbed every point at which they connected and twisted them together, tight, making sure the connections were secure. He risked exposing a sliver of armor under one gauntlet so he could hold his wrist against the cable, checking to make sure he could detect a flowing EM field through it. He latched his gauntlet back in place, and walked up to the doorframe again, to flip the switch one more time.

Sparks flew from the frame. Prowl stumbled back as something popped, and smoke spewed from behind the switch. "No!" He waved the smoke away and stormed up to the frame again, flipping the switch over, and over, and over. "No, no, no—" his voice got louder with every word, "—give him back, give him back. This is incarceration, not an execution!"

Nothing. He waved an arm wildly through the doorframe, ducked through it, quickly examined the doorframe from the other side, circled around it, circled around it faster. "No! Dammit, he's—he's mine, he's—give him back! Give him back to me!" He grabbed the frame, shook it—the lever coughed out a sad puff of smoke—and he leaned through it again. "Mesothulas!" As though the Noisemaze was still right through the doorway. "Mesothulas!" As though he could reach him from here, if only he was loud enough.

There was silence in the abandoned lab.

Prowl's hand slid off the doorframe. He dropped to his knees in the middle of the dead portal to the Noisemaze, cradled his head in his hands, and rocked back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.

They say that the doorway in Petrex's room goes somewhere—or it would, if only somebody knew how to turn it on again. They say that it's a prison; they say he keeps something terrible locked away, and woe to anyone who's there when he unlocks it. They say that when Petrex sleeps on his doorway, hand pressed to its cement-and-rubble surface, sometimes something on the other side will scratch at it, desperate to get out; and sometimes, in his sleep, Petrex will scratch back.

They say many things about Petrex. A few of them are true.

Here's what they don't say about Petrex, but perhaps they should: he is icy, and hard, and unmovable, and implacable in public; but in private, he screams, he rages, he cackles, he dances, hot and explosive as a fire raging through a fuel refinery. You can see his optics behind his mask, wide and wild and red, but sometimes they're white-hot, and at those times his mask doesn't look icy but white-hot too. Here's what else they don't say: nobody has ever joined the Autobot Justice Division willingly; and most of those who join are criminals and turncoats that Petrex has reassigned to more important functions; but a few, a few are those who he has not chained to himself with invisible ununtrium links, but rather tied to himself with sinewy red threads. A few are those that he's loved too much to ever let escape.

Nobody says that about Petrex because nobody knows that he can feel love.

Petrex prefers it that way.

"What's the point of all this, Tarantulas."

Even when Prowl was on the ground and Tarantulas—what a stupid name, a grotesque alien name for an animal, a name that clattered and chattered against the back of Prowl's teeth, t-t-t—Tarantulas was pulled up high, huddling like a fearful creature against the wall—even at this range, Prowl had mastered the art of tilting his head just so, so that the way his mask framed his optics made it look like he was glaring down at Tarantulas. And he was glaring down at Tarantulas. Because no matter what a putrid beast he'd made of himself, no matter what a lowly bug he was now compared to Prowl, no matter all Prowl had achieved or all the power he'd amassed or all the soldiers at his beck and call—Autobot and Decepticon alike, now—the truth was, Tarantulas had blackmail, and Tarantulas had an invisible army, and Tarantulas had a prison in a pocket dimension where he'd trapped Prowl and where nobody knew how to find Prowl—and Prowl was terrified. And he would never, ever let Tarantulas know that.

"The point?" Tarantulas drew back, visibly surprised, and Prowl was pleased by his confusion even if he didn't understand it. "I—Isn't it obvious?"

"As obvious as you are pink." Tarantulas wasn't pink, anymore. He was black, all but for red biolights and the cotton candy pink on his feet and the filthy fuzzy tips of his new spidery limbs. Tarantulas flinched, looking down, self-consciously running a—it wasn't a hand, was it?—a hairy sausage over the black fur on one thigh, and Prowl made note of the insecurity to exploit later. "So what is this. Explain yourself."

"This is..." For a moment, Tarantulas wilted, visibly bewildered. "This is... what you asked me for."

Prowl stared at him, just as bewildered but much less visibly. "Explain more."

"You... you told me to empty my thoughts of everything, except obeying you." Tarantulas crept down the wall, his many legs squirming agitatedly. "You told me when I got out, I'd make you an army. And I—I have. I am."

Prowl stared at Tarantulas, as he lowered himself back to floor level. "You don't mean the Chimeracons. I thought they forced you to make their meat suits." The damage they'd left Tarantulas with was still visible, the melted and matted fur, the breaks in two of his spider legs. Of all the mysterious affairs surrounding Prowl's kidnapping, Prowl still couldn't figure out why, when Tarantulas commanded the Noisemaze and could shrink to the point of invisibility, he had put up with their abuses. Perhaps Prowl had trained him to tolerate too much. "They've already kidnapped me. They'd have tried to kill me if you hadn't intervened. What kind of army is that."

And once on the floor, Tarantulas kept lowering himself, kneeling at Prowl's feet. "I had to let them use me, to get the resources I needed to get close to you. They're irrelevant—they're only the start. Now that I've perfected the technology, I—I can pick up where I left off with Ostaros—y-you remember Ostaros, don't you?—just like you wanted. Making your army from scratch. Yours to do with as you please—overthrow the Prime, vanquish the Decepticons, reorder Cybertron to your specifications—all yours, Prowl. All of it. All—all of me." Prowl's ember leapt into his throat.

So he grabbed Tarantulas's. "Don't play with me."

Tarantulas flinched, but he didn't even try to pull back. "I'm not." His voice was shaky—Prowl couldn't see the fear on his face, he didn't know how to make sense of his new features yet, but he could hear it. "I'm not, I would never. I—Prowl, you're—you're all I thought about in the Noisemaze. When I could think. I—I was wrong to challenge your orders. I'm sorry. You're everything to me. You're my muse, my inspiration, my life, I—I'm yours. Anything you want from me, it's yours."

Prowl stared at him. And swallowed hard, trying to put his ember back where it belonged. He squeezed tighter. Tarantulas's visor widened, but he didn't even grab at Prowl's hand.

"Anything."

"Anything," Tarantulas whispered. It was the most beautiful word Prowl had ever heard.

And funny. Because Prowl remembered how it had been "anything" before, too—up until suddenly Mesothulas changed his mind, and then it wasn't.

Last time, Prowl had been too soft on Mesothulas—he'd liked him too much. He'd eased him into his new duties, slowly escalating the amount of energon he had to spill. That worked on most people. They'll commit any atrocity you ask for, as long as it's only just a little bit worse than the one before.

He wasn't making that mistake this time. While Tarantulas was still malleable, still vulnerable, still dizzy with adoration and desperate to regain Prowl's approval—Prowl had to make him do the worst thing he could imagine. Something so awful, that nothing else Tarantulas could possibly do would ever be worse.

"I do remember Ostaros." Prowl let go of Tarantulas's throat. Tarantulas swayed forward, following Prowl's hand, as though he wanted to be choked again. Pathetic. Gorgeous. "I took him with me. He's an Autobot now."

"He's—still alive?"

"He is. He's named Springer, now. 'Ostaros' was a stupid name." (Tarantulas flinched, gaze wavering, but he didn't argue.) "He'll be coming to rescue me as soon as he figures out where I am, I'm sure. You'll get to meet him."

Tarantulas's visor practically sparkled. "Oh! I—"

"When you do, you'll kill him."

Tarantulas stared at him. His strange rows of mandibles were frozen at irregular angles, as though he'd been caught with his mouth hanging open. "I... I don't understand, I..."

"I will not have divided loyalties." Prowl cupped Tarantulas's face in his hand, running a thumb along a ridge over his cheek. "If you're mine, then you're mine. No part of you will belong to anyone else."

Prowl could see the exact moment Tarantulas decided he would obey Prowl's order. It was the moment a light behind his visor died.

"... What does he look like, now." Tarantulas's voice was as hollow and toneless as Prowl's.

Prowl tilted his helm in just that right way to imply a smile. "I'm sure you'll know him when you see him."

The Noisemaze was falling apart. From Prowl's vantage point in Debris, he could see it convulsing and collapsing on itself. With one hand, Prowl stroked Tarantulas's head, as Tarantulas sobbed brokenly. Tarantulas's arms were flung around Prowl's waist, filthy claws clutching pitifully at whatever kibble he could latch onto, rocking back and forth as he wailed. Prowl had heard the wail of a grieving parent before, but never from a Cybertronian. He wondered if Tarantulas even counted as a Cybertronian now.

With his other hand, Prowl carried Springer's head.

Prowl was sorry for Tarantulas. He truly was. Prowl had always hated hurting him the most. But after this, everything else would come so much easier.

The Noisemaze was nothing but shreds and void by the time Tarantulas's sobs grew silent and his convulsions reduced to mere trembling. Only then did Prowl speak.

"Welcome to the AJD."

Tarantulas was silent.

After a long moment, he said, hoarsely, "I—w-we... we're named for our hometowns, aren't we? In the AJD. I... I was... truly... truly born in the Noisemaze, s-so... so, I guess..."

"No," Prowl said. "No, people get names. You're no longer a person. You've turned yourself into a beast."

Tarantulas didn't even wince. Something in Prowl shuddered at it—had he gone too far?—but he consoled himself: maybe Tarantulas was beyond pain, now. Everything would be easier from here on. Everything would be easier.

After another long silence, Tarantulas asked, "Then... what...? What's my...?"

Prowl rubbed a thumb affectionately over one of his horns. "You're my Pet."

Now, they say there's a monster in Petrex's private quarters that lives under his berth.

It's as black as Terminus's gaping maw and has just as many fangs, and it's just as likely to kill you. It's a freak that used to be Cybertronian, but now it's made of meat and metal, the metal rotting the meat and the meat rusting the metal, and it shambles around in the dark on too many legs, and it climbs the walls and ceiling and nests in the corners like a ghost trapped in the room where it died, trying to get free.

They say that Petrex can love; but his love is cruel, and cold, and it will suck the life out of you and leave you a husk of the mech you used to be before you caught his fevered gaze.

They say that when he finds somebody he wants, he chains them to himself with invisible ununtrium links, or ties them to himself with sinewy red threads, or, in one special case, webs them to him with sticky white silk.

They say that Petrex sleeps on a doorway, filled in with cement—a door that doesn't go anywhere. He presses his hand to it when he sleeps.

Sometimes, something scratches on the door from underneath.

Also on AO3.

If you want a tiny fic/story, buy me a coffee and leave a prompt in the comments!

(Feel free to reblog/add comments)

#prowl #tarantulas #transformers #maccadam #shattered glass #prowlrantulas #my writing #tfspeedwriting

[sebspocketsquare]

Hook, line and sinker.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Story Summary: Takes place after the events of Civil War - Bucky is living in an apartment in the City - one of the conditions of Tony and Steve’s new truce. Bucky seems to develop a soft spot for his neighbor across the hall.

Warnings: Language, fluff, flirtation, I think that might be it.

A/N: I’ve had this sitting in my drafts forever and I’m finally posting it. I hope you enjoy it! Also, I had to edit this on mobile, since my laptop took a shit(hopefully I’ll get a new one for christmas!)

The first time Bucky heard you sing, he knew he had to get to know you.

‘My lover’s got humor, she’s the giggle at a funeral.’

He was sure you couldn’t hear his light footsteps coming down the basement stairs, the washer and dryer that you shared was always making an awful knocking noise. He hadn’t ever met you face to face before, he’d only ever heard your voice.

You were more beautiful than he had imagined.

‘Knows everybody’s disapproval,

I should’ve worshipped her sooner.’

Each note that you sang made his heart race more and more. He was sure that at some point, it would jump right out of his throat and run straight to you.

‘If the heavens ever did speak,

She’s the last true mouthpiece.’

His remaining descent of the stairs happens in a daze. He feels like he’s floating as he watches you sway to the music he can’t hear, emotion evident on your face, even with your eyes closed.

‘Every Sundays getting more bleak,

Fresh poison each week.’

He sets his basket down beside him, crossing his arms over his chest as you continue folding your freshly cleaned clothes. He decides he loves seeing you like this - no makeup, hair in a messy tie on your head, sporting sweatpants and a loose tank-top, a grey hoodie hanging off your shoulders.

‘”We were born sick.”

You heard them say it.’

He has to resist the urge to come up behind you, wrap his arms around your waist and bury his face in the crook of your neck, that beautiful neck. He’s completely infatuated with the freckles that dust your skin; he wants nothing more than to study each and every one until he finds constellations.

You close your mouth momentarily, still humming along to the tune as you find the match for each of your socks. He’s completely enamored with the curve of your lip, the dimple in the corner of your mouth.

‘Take me to church,

I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies,

I’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife.

Offer me that deathless death,

Good god, let me give you my life.’

Hook, line and sinker, he’s yours and you don’t even know it.

He gets so caught up in the sway of your hips, the random strands of hair that fall around your face, he doesn’t even see the basket in front of his feet, gracefully tripping and ripping you out of your blissful state. He looks up from his heap on the floor to see your wide eyes staring down at him, a mixture of amusement and worry in your features. You pull your earphones out quickly, taking a few steps closer to the strange, handsome man in your laundry room. “Shit - are you okay?” You ask, reaching down to help him, his arm muscles feeling taut under your fingertips. “Yeah, sorry, I.. It’s pretty late, I didn’t think anyone would be down here..” He muses, running a gloved hand through his hair once he’s upright once more. Your lips twitch into a nervous smile as you straighten out the ratty clothing you now realized you were wearing. “Yeah, uh.. I usually wash my stuff in the morning, but.. Cleaning is a stress reliever for me, so..” You trailed off, trying to keep your eyes from exploring each and every inch of the man before you.

There’s a pause in the conversation before he thrusts his right hand forward in greeting. “James. or Bucky. Apartment 3B.” He tells you, and you smile softly, resting your hand in his. He makes you feel so small. “Y/N. 3A.” His eyes light up at this, “You live right above me, then?” You nod in response and a huge grin takes over his face. “You-you’re the one with the dog, yeah?” Your eyes widen in fear. “Oh-oh god, I’m so sorry.. Selene can be pretty.. talkative at times, I’ll try and keep her more quiet.” You tuck your hair behind your ear nervously, but he just shakes his head with a quiet laugh. “No, no.. Not a problem at all, I just.. I love dogs. What kind is she?” He wonders, his heart hammering in his chest at how easy you are to talk to.

“Husky. Do you have a dog?” You ask, feeling comfortable enough to turn away and continue to fold your clothes as you talk to him. He comes to stand beside you, leaning back against the washer so he can see your face. “No, no.. I’m away for work a lot.. I’d feel terrible for leavin’ the little fella by himself all day, y’know?” You smile at this, an accent slipping through in his words. “And what do you do for work, James or Bucky?” You wondered, flirting with him the tiniest bit. He’s quiet for a few moments and you look up at him in confusion. His eyes are focused on the floor, a far off look on his face. “James?” You prompt, taking a step towards him. Before you can say anything else, he looks up at you with a forced smile. “I’ll come back in about an hour. You should be done by then, yeah?” He says hurriedly, before turning and darting up the stairs, going so fast that he even forgot his clothes.

You watch him escape from the conversation, and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t a little hurt at how he’d just ran away from you. “Well..” You mumbled to yourself, going back to your clothes. “That’s the last time I try to flirt with anyone.”

It would be a whole week before you saw Bucky again.

You were stumbling into the apartment building, bags upon bags of groceries in one hand and an overly large bag of dog food in the other. It was the beginning of November and you’d managed to break a sweat from the taxi to the elevator, only to find an ‘out of order’ sign on the door. “Mother fucker.” You hissed, trying to balance the bag of dog food on your hip as you turned towards the staircase. You’d have to climb 3 flights of stairs to get to your apartment and you weren’t looking forward to it. “Well.. Mama didn’t raise a quitter.” You mumbled to yourself before making your way to the stairs. A voice from behind you stopped you in your tracks. “Can i help you with those?” Turning slowly, you saw none other than James standing behind you, bundled up in a leather jacket, scarf and beanie, gloves on both of his hands today. You shake your head slowly, clearing your throat. “I think I can manage, thank you.” You say softly before turning back to the stairs.

“I work for the government.. Security mostly..” He says quickly, making you cease motion once more. “I can’t tell you what department.” He adds, voice timid. “So.. you’re like a cop?” You ask, turning your head with your eyebrow raised in inquiry. He shrugs. “Not really - well… Sort of.. I guess.” He chews his lip nervously as he waits for you to say something, anything at all. You let out a small sigh, beckoning him forward with the nod of your head. “C’mon Officer James, you can help me this one time.” You tease him, and a shy smile forms on his lips. “Sergeant, actually. Its Sergeant James.” He tells you with a wink as he takes a few of the grocery bags and the dog food from you. “3A?” He confirms, before taking off up the stairs in front of you. You’re stunned. Where was this shift in behavior coming from and - goddamn, how could a man have such a nice ass? You have to tear your gaze from his jeans as you follow him up the stairs.

“Thank you, James, I.. I really appreciate it.” You tell him when you reach your floor. You can already hear Selene whining before you approach your door. “It’s no problem, ma’am. Glad to help.” He replies, that same, shy smile taking over his face again. When you reach your door and dig your keys out of your purse, Selene lets out a bark and Bucky looks at you, eyes wide with excitement. “Is-is that her?” He asks, and you nod, putting your key in the lock and turning it. “You can come in and meet her, if you’d like.. I can’t promise she won’t jump on you or lick you.” He just nods excitedly, waiting for you to open the door. As soon as you walk inside, Selene is on you. “Hi, girl. Hi. I know, I missed you, too.” You giggle as she desperately tries to reach your face to give you the affection she’s been holding in the entire time you’ve been gone. “I know, I know.” You whisper, hearing the soft sound of Bucky placing your groceries on the small island in your kitchen.

Selene’s attention is suddenly grabbed, ears perking up as her head snaps in his direction. “Selene, this is my friend James.” You tell her, keeping a hold on her collar in case she makes to leap at him, too. Bucky takes a few steps forward, a warm smile on his face as he holds his hand out to her to smell before he tries to touch her. She sniffs, once, twice, three times before trusting enough to nuzzle his hand, making his smile grow even more. “Hi there, pretty girl.” He coos, slowly kneeling so he’s closer to her height as he begins scratching behind her ears. Her eyes closed in contentment and you feel your heart soar. She loved him already.

You let them have their moment in peace, taking the time to unpack and put away your groceries, trying to hold back your smiles as you hear him talking to her. “You’re such a pretty girl.. and so soft.. I wish I had a dog like you.” You hear Bucky let out a loud chuckle and your head snaps in his direction. Selene has managed to knock him over and is currently assaulting his face with her affection, slobber everywhere. “Oh, Selene, knock it off! Thats rude!” You chastise her, quickly coming over to shoo her away. She retreats to the safety of her dog bed, a small whimper leaving her as she tries to reason with you without words. She just wanted to love him.

You offer Bucky your hand to help him up, which he gladly takes, dusting the dog hair from his jeans once he’s standing. “Oh, she’s alright. I don’t mind.” He informs you with a soft smile.

There’s a beat of awkward silence between the two of you as he looks around your apartment. “I like your setup.. Is that what I think it is?” He asks, eyes lighting up as he notices your record player in the corner of the living room. “A record player? Yeah.. I may or may not collect vinyl.” You tell him, walking over to the device and motioning for him to follow you. “It’s beautiful.” He whispers, running his fingers over its edges and knobs. “Thank you. It was my father’s.. I inherited it a few years back..” You tell him, suddenly feeling sadness well up in your stomach. Bucky’s eyes dart over to you, sympathy evident in his gaze. “I’m sorry..” He breathes, slowly retracting his hands from the player. “It’s alright..” You shrug, making your way back to the kitchen to finish your chores. “We knew it was coming, really..”

Bucky doesn’t say much else, just watches the way you move, trying to understand how you could be so collected when talking about such a tragedy. When you look up after a few moments and meet his eyes, he offers a small smile. “Well.. I guess I should be going.. I’m expecting company here soon.” He tells you, and for some reason, you feel a twang of jealousy in your chest. Who were you to get jealous? He wasn’t yours. You barely knew the man. “Sure, of course..” You say softly, nodding as you wipe your sweaty palms on your sweater. “Selene, come say goodbye.” Selene trots over, immediately jumping up on Bucky and resting her head against his torso. He scratches the top of her head lovingly, humming softly. “I’m sure I’ll see ya around, pretty girl.” He muses, and before you can stop yourself, the words just fall out of your mouth. “You’ll have to come back sometime. I could make dinner - or-or we could watch a movie.” Your cheeks flood bright red when you realize that you’ve practically just invited him on a date, but he doesn’t seem too phased, just looks up at you with a bright smile. “Yeah.. I’d really like that.”

When Selene hops down, you walk Bucky to your door, awkwardly shoving your hands in your pockets. “So… I’ll see you around, then.” You tell him as he opens the door and stands in the doorway. “I hope so. Get in touch with me about dinner, yeah?” He replies, tucking a strand of his hair behind his ear. You notice that he’s still wearing one glove. “Sure, yeah.. We’ll have to do it soon.” You say quickly, chewing the inside of your cheek to keep from saying anything else that might be embarrassing. “Soon. Sounds great.. Catch you later, doll..” Your heart flutters at the pet-name, and then drops into your stomach as he began to walk away. What was with the rollercoaster of emotions you were having around this man. “Oh, and Y/N?” He calls once he’s about halfway down the hall. You look up, a nervous smile on your lips. “Thank you.” That’s all he says before he disappears into the stairwell again.

TAGS: (I didn’t know who to tag so sorry) @plumfondler @mindingmyownbusiness @breenieweenie @dianelogan @buckyshattergirl

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes #bucky fluff #dog lover!Bucky #james barnes x reader #james barnes

[october31st1981]

Jily AU: Your photos keep showing up on my iPhone, and the internet helped me track you down. Now we’re kind of celebrities, and also I think you’re hot. (Inspired by "I Followed My Stolen iPhone Across The World, Became A Celebrity In China, And Found A Friend For Life" on Buzzfeed)

The article can be found here. I recommend it. It’s a wild ride. Some liberties were taken with the prompt. 

Because James is a fucking idiot, his phone gets stolen.

He knows he’s a rowdy drunk and he knows the three word mantra any university student needs when they go out (‘phone-cash-keys’) but Sirius has bet that he can take more Jägerbombs than James and he’s never been able to back down from a challenge. He doesn’t even think twice about whether his phone is in the pocket of his jeans or his coat, the latter of which he leaves at the table. He swears Peter is sitting there when he leaves, but when he comes back ten minutes later and a whole lot dizzier, the table is empty, coat and all.

He and Sirius find Peter later, crouched over a toilet and heaving with Remus patting his back. James has the decency to wait until his friend is done vomiting to ask, “Pete, d’you have my phone?”

If possible, Peter gets greener. “Sorry,” is all he gets out before shaking his head and clutching his stomach.

Peter ends up feeling worse about the whole thing than James does. James is upset to have lost all his pictures and apps, and he’s livid at the wanker who decided to grab his phone, but ultimately, he can afford a new phone and he can take new pictures, so in a few months he’ll likely get over it. But Peter insists that because James left his phone with him, it’s Peter who owes him a new one.

James attempts to refuse. Peter doesn’t have the kind of money to replace his phone, and James isn’t about to put that on him.

“My friend Dung knows how to get an iPhone for dirt cheap,” Peter claims, and reluctantly, James agrees.

And so it begins.

x.

True to his word, Mundungus Fletcher has an iPhone of the same model as James’s that seems to be in decent condition and that he’s selling for far less than a reasonable price. James doesn’t exactly trust Dung, but he trusts Peter, so he accepts the gift. 

It works out fine for a few months. He’s constantly filling up his camera roll, so it’s not immediately obvious when a few pictures crop up that he can’t remember taking. But one day, he’s scrolling through his phone looking for a selfie to post when he notices several selfies he has never seen before. Namely of a girl who is redheaded, gorgeous, and completely unfamiliar. 

At first, James doesn’t think too much of it. He’s been to his fair share of parties and it doesn’t take much prowess to access a camera from a lock screen. She’s probably just someone who knows one of his mates. He ignores the picture without even bothering to delete it.

But then it happens again. 

The same red-haired girl, standing in what looks like a grove of oranges. There are at least a dozen pictures of her in a place he has definitely never been.

“I think I’m being hacked,” he says, as he shows the boys the newest set of pictures. 

“Why would a hacker put things on your phone?” asks Sirius. “Wouldn’t they just release your dick pics to the internet?”

“I have never taken a dick pic in my life,” says James, scandalized, even though he definitely has. “What do I know about what hackers’ aims are? Maybe it’s some kind of psychological game.”

“That’d be more effective if they were using pictures of blood and gore instead of pictures of a good-looking girl,” says Remus thoughtfully.  

Peter inspects the phone, looking through James’s camera settings. “I’ll ask Dung, but I think this is normal. He says cloud errors happen all the time. Probably best to ignore it.”

And James shrugs, because his knowledge of how the internet works is pretty much limited to opening the app and typing in an address. When Peter gets a hold of him, Dung reassures Peter with a few fancy words which James thinks he’s memorized solely for this purpose, but in the end he’s no closer to an answer than before.

x.

It becomes a daily occurrence. James turns it into a game with the boys, making up a story about why the redhead ended up taking a picture of a hot pink motorbike and at least thirty dogs in the same day. There’s text in some of the background of the pictures, but it’s not in a language that he understands.

“You know, I think she might be in China,” Sirius says.

“How d’you figure that?” 

“The lanterns,” he says, scrolling through James’s phone. “Seems like it’s Chinese New Year.”

“Why would a girl in China be showing up on James’s phone?” asks Remus.

“Why did she take fifty-three pictures of fireworks when they all look the same? I’m not God, Remus.” 

When several months have passed and there are hundreds of pictures from this girl’s life flooding his phone, James decides it’s time to say something. He hesitates to take it into the Apple store, because knowing Dung, this phone is probably just a very good knock-off and he doesn’t want to get anyone in trouble. So he does what he does best, and tweets about it.

He takes a screenshot of the girl’s varied adventures and attaches it to his message:

@prongspotter: hey mysterious hacker listen ur very pretty and all but you need to stop taking over my camera roll

To his surprise, the tweet receives over two thousand retweets. His followers seem very amused by his apparent crush on the person who has somehow taken over his phone, and at least three different replies say, “I ship you and your hacker.”

He tries to joke about the situation, but that only brings more responses flooding in over the course of the week. He thinks he may be reaching meme status.

“This is ridiculous,” James says, as someone tweets him a picture of him and the redhead photoshopped together. “I don’t even know this girl.”

“You’ve seen her pictures. That’s about as much info as you get from Tinder,” Sirius offers, holding the phone out of James’s reach as he favourites the image. 

As James dives for Sirius, Peter sheepishly admits, “I think I may know what’s wrong.” 

James pauses mid-twist and Sirius takes the opportunity to send out, “I wonder if my hacker has seen my dick pics,” from James’s Twitter. 

Ignoring this, he turns to Peter. “Did Dung finally give you a real answer?” 

“Well, no… but he said something the other day, that made me think that the phone you bought might’ve been, er, taken.”

“Taken? The same way James’s was taken?” says Remus, raising his eyebrows. Peter ducks his head. 

James gapes in horror. “We replaced my stolen phone… with another stolen phone?” 

“I think so,” Peter replies, flushing in shame. “That’s probably why you’re getting those pictures. Her account is probably still in the phone.”

For the first time since getting this phone, James looks at the iCloud settings, and sure enough, there is an account name there that does not belong to him. He probably should’ve suspected this earlier, but he has a tendency to be overly trusting. Immediately, he logs out. Peter apologizes, but James doesn’t blame him. It’s not his fault that Dung misled him. 

The next day James purchases a new phone, from the store itself. He has an employee help him set up all his account details properly this time. Once he’s finished, all he wants to do is get rid of the other phone. It doesn’t feel right to just give it away since it belongs to someone, but he didn’t really spare a glance at the girl’s name so it’s not like he could look her up anywhere. 

x.

To ease his conscience, he sends out an apology to the general public. 

@prongspotter: it has come to my attention that the hacking is actually kind of my fault. wish i knew how to apologize to you directly. sorry

James probably should’ve known better than to give the internet the opportunity for a quest. His tweet gets more feedback than anything he’s ever said, with many people offering to help track her down. He doesn’t want anyone trying to release this girl’s personal information, so he politely declines. 

An hour later, however, he receives a tweet from @maremacdonald that says, “The girl from those pictures is my friend Lily! I’ll let her know about you.” 

He checks the account, and it doesn’t look like spam. He decides to wait on it. Sure enough, that evening, he gets a direct message from someone named Lily whose avatar is the redheaded girl, but a picture of her that he’s never seen before. 

Hi, I’m Lily. Your “hacker?” 

sorry about that!! i’m james. bought a phone off a friend of a friend and it turns out he probably took it off you. i logged out as soon as I knew

 Seems like I should be blaming the bloke who took it, not you. Needed a temporary mobile anyway. No harm done, besides seeing my face photoshopped onto what I *hope* is your body.

James grins to himself. 

the lads have been guessing where you’re from. my mate Sirius says China but i say Chinatown

Tell Sirius he’s right! I’m from England but I’m doing a year abroad. 

damn. i’d hoped to buy you an apology drink for inadvertently stealing your phone

 Should I be accepting drinks from strangers on the internet?

no more than I should’ve accepted a phone from someone named ‘Dung’ and yet here we are

 I guess bad decisions are catching. All I know about you is your twitter handle. 

google me? actually don’t. i’m not sure what you’ll find. 

Lily seems to take this as a challenge and sends him a screenshot of one of his profile pictures from Year Ten with his hair spiked up. He’s not wearing any glasses, so he’s squinting at what clearly must’ve been a mobile camera. 

that’s not fair ur last name isn’t on ur profile i can’t google you back

In reply, she sends him a screenshot of a status from 2009 which contains the entirety of the lyrics to “Remember the Name.”

James tells the Twitterverse that he rescinds his apology because Lily is The Worst, but that only encourages the following that this phone saga has accumulated. #OTPFlowerPots trends locally. 

It becomes a game between them. For every embarrassing post of James’s that Lily sends to him, she tells him something about herself. He learns that she grew up in a town called Cokeworth, that her ex-best friend joined some kind of anti-immigrant group and the whole thing fucked her up a lot, and that (and she’s not kidding about this, no matter how many times he asks) her sister’s name is Petunia.

is ur sister a 75 year old woman who lives in a shoe??

Do you really want to get into name jokes, Potty? 

you raise a fair point. my dad’s name is fleamont

Oh my GOD.

x.

After they’ve been messaging for a few weeks, James accidentally admits that he misses the daily guessing game of figuring out what her pictures meant. Lily teases him about it, but adds him on Snapchat later that day. His phone starts to fill up with pictures of her again, but this time it’s screenshots of her pulling stupid faces as she faceswaps with a cat.

“I guess my mess-up with Dung wasn’t that bad after all if James got an internet girlfriend out of it,” Peter muses as James sends Lily a picture of him with a flower crown.

“She’s not my girlfriend,” says James, but nobody listens.

Sirius shrugs. “I still think he’s mad to fancy someone he’s never met. Maybe she’s a bit of a loon and wants to set him on fire.”

“There are a lot of people who might want to set James on fire,” Remus interjects with a teasing smile. “That feeling’s not exclusive to people he has feelings for.”

“I don’t fancy her!”

Maybe he’s proving their point, but he cannot resist griping about his friends to her, so as his friends continue to take the mickey, he tweets at Lily. 

@prongspotter: @lilylaughing pls rescue me from my mates they are being v rude 

@lilylaughing: @prongspotter Sorry! Come visit me in China? 

James figures the suggestion is in jest, their followers seem to enjoy the idea. Their replies are flooded with people telling James everything from travel discounts to places to visit while he’s in China. This isn’t the first time he’s been caught off by the overwhelming excitement for their interactions, so he laughs it off. It’s Lily who brings it up when they are messaging that night.

Maybe I shouldn’t have invited you here in front of the whole internet. My phone has been going off all day.

it’s cool i know you were kidding. can’t help that the internet wants us #married 

Wasn’t completely a joke! If you’d like to come, it’d be nice to have a visitor. I’ve asked Mary to come but every pound she has is going directly into saving for a flat.

normally i like to get a girl’s last name before i jump continents for her

Evans. 

x.

And so, James begins planning a trip to China to see Lily Evans, a girl he’s been talking to for a month and only through social media. It takes them three full months to iron out the details, but between him and Sirius they manage to make up the difference to get plane tickets for Remus and Peter as well.

“Well, even if she is hoping to skin James and wear him as a coat at least we’re getting a fun trip out of it,” says Sirius as they board the plane.

James flicks him. “Evans is nice. And you’re going to get us marked off as a flight risk.”

Their journey is a long one, and feels all the longer when Remus falls ill halfway through the flight and the four of them attempt to squeeze into one lavatory to stay with him. The flight attendant gets a bit shirty with them, so they’re forced to take their seats. By the time they land, all four boys are so exhausted, James doesn’t immediately notice Lily standing at the gate near a bunch of photographers. 

“James?”

He turns, and several cameras flash so he has to blink. When his vision clears, he can’t help but grin. “Lily.” He reaches out to her, but then falters because he’s not sure what the protocol is.

She smiles and steps forward to pull him into a hug. Lily is smaller than he expects, so it’s half into her hair that he mutters, “I’m sorry I accidentally stole your phone and invaded your privacy.”

Lily laughs as she draws back. “You know, I was getting your pictures too, since it’s my account you were logged into. I just deleted them whenever they popped up.”

And James is absolutely fucking horrified not only because he inadvertently stole Lily’s phone and made a spectacle of it on the internet but because he remembers that horrific attempt at sexting that went on with a Tinder match back in March and oh my god this girl has seen at least twenty-eight pictures of his penis.

But Lily is still smiling at him, so clearly she is not as scarred by the memory of his genitals as he is. 

Instead of dwelling on this line of thought, James looks behind her at the flashing cameras pointed in their direction. “Care to explain the crowd? Are you some kind of celebrity?”

It’s her turn to feel awkward. “This is because of our…. fandom?” she offers hesitantly with red cheeks.

James’s eyes widen. “You’re joking.”

“The hashtag ‘Jily’ really took off over here.”

The boys stride up behind them as James and Lily attempt to smile for the pictures. Once most people have got their shot, the crowd dissipates. They’re left with one Chinese girl who looks about their age standing at baggage with a camera. 

The girl says something to Lily in what is presumably Mandarin, and Lily replies in the same language. “I’m Emmeline Vance,” says the photographer girl, extending a hand. “I’m a friend of Lily’s from school and I’d like to do a story on you two to submit to our host school’s newspaper. Would that be okay?”

James has to admit he’s bemused by all this attention. He’s willing to admit his own vanity, but it’s still a little bit surprising for other people to validate it. So it’s with Lily’s encouraging look that he says, “Yeah, alright.”

“This is going to make his head even more inflated than it is,” says Sirius with a laugh. 

“I’m thinking ahead,” says Lily, looping her arm through James’s. “If he’s filled with enough hot air, you’ll save on fare back to England.” 

Sirius grins, but it is Remus who responds, smiling knowingly. “I see it now.”

“See what?” says James, gaze returning to Lily.

“Me too,” says Peter. 

James opens his mouth to repeat his question, but Remus cuts across him with an introduction. “Sorry, we’re so tired from our flight that we forgot to introduce ourselves. Remus Lupin,” he says, extending a hand. 

Lily grasps it with her free one. “Lily Evans. And I know,” she says. “Sorry, is that weird? James talks about you three all the time. So that makes the other two Peter and Sirius. I haven’t actually seen Sirius’s face without the dog filter on it,” Lily adds, tilting her head at him.

James’s lips twitch upward. “Trust me, it’s apt. Oh, I brought something for you!” he exclaims, emptying his pocket. “It’s your old phone. I know you aren’t using it while you’re here, but it’s yours, and you should have it when you come home.”

She accepts the mobile and glances down at it slyly. “Did you leave your number in it?”

His smile is full-blown now. “Maybe.”

James thinks they could maybe stand there staring at one another all day, but after a few moments, Emmeline chuckles and says, “Come on, then, lovebirds, the boys need to check into their hotel.”

As they stroll towards the car, Sirius says, “So, Evans, if you were going to rate James’s dick pics on a scale of one to ten…”

James puts his hands over his ears.

x.

If James thinks that the bizarre celebrity that they seem to have attracted at the airport is the end of it, he’s wrong. 

“Lily’s been making videos teaching people English on Weibo,” Emmeline explains when they are once again met by press when they check-in. “Her followers really liked your story, and your ‘ship’ name trends every time she mentions you.”

He raises his eyebrows at Lily. “Do you mention me a lot?”

Lily makes a rude hand gesture, and he takes that as a yes. 

Apparently, their status gives them some kind of unexpected privileges. They’re given many offers of places to visit and speak, and the hotel manager wrangles a promise out of them to hold some kind of conference in the afternoon. 

The hotel has a set for engagement photos, and the staff makes the mistake of asking them if they’d like to have a shot at it. So they do. James and Remus ride some sort of bedazzled carousel together, and Peter and Sirius somehow manage to lift Lily above their heads in front of a giant heart flower arrangement as Emmeline laughs and takes a photo.

The poses that the group does range from odd to obscene, and it gathers the attention of the surrounding couples. At one point, Sirius borrows a veil from one of the brides to take a picture with James, and while the woman is laughing, her fiance is none-too-pleased. 

After their baggage is dropped off, the group goes to lunch, where the insanity continues. At least three people ask for Lily’s autograph, and someone hands James a baby at some point. 

“Do you have any clue who that child belongs to?” asks Remus as James bounces the kid on his lap.

“Not even a little,” he says. “I think I’m supposed to bless him.”

As he says this, the baby throws up on his shirt. Solemnly, Lily tells him, “Divine intervention.”

x.

Because the universe has decided to make this visit immensely strange, someone supplies him with a t-shirt that bears his and Lily’s faces on it. Lily’s given one to match, and they wear them as they walk back to the hotel for the conference.

Their fingers brush as they walk it occurs to James that this is the first time he’s had a minute alone with Lily since he arrived. 

“All right, Evans?” he asks, smiling down at her. 

Lily laughs. “Shouldn’t I be asking you? You’re the one who hasn’t had a chance to sleep yet.”

“I live purely through people assuaging my vanity,” he tells her pleasantly, “so I’m going to be awake for the next two days.”

She gives him a smile that’s entirely too devious. “I suppose we’ll just have to think of some way to keep you entertained.”

James gasps, holding a hand to his heart. If it’s beating a bit faster than it was a minute ago, that’s no one’s business but his own. “You know, I think you might be a corrupting influence in my life, Lily Evans.”

Lily pats him on the bum as they approach the door. “Feeling’s mutual, Potter.”

x.

The rest of the day is more difficult after that, because being this close to Lily has made him realize just how much he likes having her around. Without even realizing it, during their ridiculous press conference, he starts holding her hand as they answer questions. He doesn’t notice until they stand up to take photographs. 

Lily and Emmeline decide to go back to their residence for the night, and when James and Sirius get to their room, James flops down on his bed. “I have a problem,” he mutters into the pillows. 

“Being a Chinese celebrity who isn’t photogenic?” asks Sirius. James aims a kick at him, but he’s not within reach. 

“I think I fancy Lily.”

“I’m shocked,” deadpans Sirius. James feels the bed shift when Sirius sits beside him. “I’d gathered that when you made her your phone background, mate. I’m still offended about being replaced, by the way.”

“What am I supposed to about it?” he says, lifting his head up. 

Sirius pretends to think about it. “Well, James, when two people like each other very much–”

He doesn’t dodge the second kick. 

Because Sirius is having far too much fun at his expense, James turns to the other boys for advice in the morning. “She’s living in China,” groans James, head in his hands.

“We’re in China,” says Peter, blinking. 

His fingers pull at his already messy hair. “Only for a few days.”

Remus pats him on the back and he can’t help but feel condescended upon. “It’s a technological age, mate. I’m sure you could figure it out if you needed to.”

Sighing, James murmurs, “She might not even like me back.”

Peter snorts. “Didn’t I see her spank you yesterday?” 

Rather seriously, James tells him, “That doesn’t mean much. I have a very nice arse.”

x.

Lily has a nice arse too, if the shorts she’s wearing when she meets them is any indication. They plan on visiting a mountain today, and he hopes that she’ll end up walking behind him so he won’t end up ogling her behind. When he says this, Sirius reminds him that the alternative is her getting a look at his behind, and he’s not sure how he feels about that. 

In spite of the butterflies that keep plaguing him every time Lily smiles or laughs at him, he can’t help but appreciate the view as they reach the top of a cliff. 

“Thank you,” James tells her quietly, staring out at the landscape.

Lily doesn’t ask him why. “It’s funny. I thought you’d be stranger to me,” she says, leaning up against the railing.

He turns to stare at her. “I don’t know which part of that I should more offended about,” James says, but he’s grinning. 

She nudges him in the shoulder and stays there, standing close beside him. “Not everyone’s the same over the internet. Meeting you could’ve been very awkward.”

“I for one, am very uncomfortable,” he says, ruffling her hair. 

“So are we,” pipes up Emmeline, as the others join them on them at the peak. “Other people would like to see the view too, Lily.”

Lily sticks her tongue out. “Bugger off and get your own cliff. This is ours. Right, James?”

He nods, and Sirius makes a loud tsk. “Just like the British to come into a foreign nation and claim the land.”

James looks at his own brown hands and then blinks. “We’re all British, Sirius.”

“Sounds just like what the Queen would say.”

Before they leave the mountain’s peak, Emmeline asks them to take a picture together for the article. They decide on the Titanic pose, so James ends up with his arms stuck out while Lily wraps her arms around his rib cage. 

It is then Lily takes the opportunity to tell him, “You know, I’ve seen your penis.”

James chokes.

x.

That evening, they decided to go to a karaoke bar. The lighting in the bar is too dim for the same amount of journalists that have been following them around to be interested in their photographs. It’s a welcome reprieve, and it takes James about five drinks before he forgets to be nervous around Lily. He leans his head on her shoulder as they watch sit and Sirius and Remus belt out a song in completely incorrect Mandarin. “A toast,” he says, raising his cup. “To alcohol.”

“Can you toast something with itself?” asks Lily. 

“Sure you can,” says James. He wags a finger at her. “But the first rule of toasting is not to interrupt. I’m thanking alcohol for bringing us together.”

She leans her head on top of his. “Technically Remus brought us together. He chose the bar.” 

“Not here together. The universe, together,” James replies, gesturing around them. If I hadn’t gone and gotten plastered, I wouldn’t have lost my phone and got yours.” 

“So, really, we’re toasting stupidity,” says Lily, her own cup raised. 

“Not stupidity,” he insists. Her other hand is on his knee, and he covers it with his own as they knock their cups into one another. “S’ kismet.”

Lily hums, taking a drink. “I s’pose I can grow to tolerate destiny bringing you around,” she murmurs. 

“Liar.” James is confident. “I’m irreplaceable in your life now.”

She pokes him in the cheek. “What makes you say that?”

“We know each other.”

She laughs, throwing her head back and jostling him. “That’s all it takes, is it?” she asks, looking at him fondly. The light of the bar is purple, but he thinks his heart is whatever colour her eyes are right then.

“Yeah,” says James quietly. “That’s all it takes.”

x.

James doesn’t drink enough to forget how Lily looked at him in the bar, but he also doesn’t drink enough to forget that he’s leaving the continent in the few days, so in spite of his friends’ curious glances, he tries not to remark on their behaviour the night before.

Lily decides to take him to the grove of oranges that started this whole escapade. It turns out, it wasn’t some place out in the open but a giant indoor greenhouse. It’s possible the others have noticed their pull towards each other, because this time, they’re given their space. 

“Remember,” says Emmeline as James and Lily part ways with the rest of the group. “This is a public greenhouse.”

“There are children inside,” adds Sirius. 

Lily extends a hand out to James. Without needing to say anything, he hands her a tomato from nearest plant. It’s a shame Sirius is so quick to dodge. 

Still, when her hand is free, she does grab a hold of his. She tugs him along by the hand until they reach a tree in the centre of the grove. “I think I took the pictures right about here.”

He looks affectionately at the tree. “This is an historic landmark. The tree that began our friendship. I feel like we should memorialize this spot.”

Lily grins. “How about we just take a selfie?” 

James pulls out his phone. It’s hard for him to get her in shot without aiming directly above and missing the tree entirely, so he leans down a bit while she stands on her tiptoes, using his shoulder to prop her chin up. They press their cheeks together as they smile widely. It feels like they’re pushing some boundary after their strange sense of intimacy last night.

As they step apart, James can’t help but admit, “It’s been weird being so close to you.”

Lily raises an eyebrow at him. “Thanks.”

He pokes her in the shoulder. “You know what I mean. I’ve only ever seen you through a screen before two days ago. I was half-convinced you were somehow made up. Sirius thought you were luring me here for some kind of virgin sacrifice.” 

“Only if you play your cards right.”

“No flirting,” he admonishes, though the warmth in his cheeks belies this. “I’m only here for a few more days and we don’t have time to make good on it.”

“Sorry,” says Lily, edging closer to him. 

He can’t help but mirror her. “Are you?”

“Not even a little bit.”

James can’t say he is either, as he leans down to kiss her. Every bright feeling he got when he received a message from her is in his head and his heart all at once. He’s vaguely aware of his phone dropping out of his hand as he moves to cup her cheeks. 

A flash goes off, and they jump apart. When they turn, they see that Sirius has picked up James’s phone and caught them at it on camera. 

He convinces them to let him tweet it, and he does so, with the caption ‘I blame the internet.’

x.

It’s hard not to spend the better part of the next few days kissing her, and James does so whenever they can sneak a moment alone. Part of him is telling him he should savour this time with her to have the kinds of conversations they can’t have over the phone, but that part of him is quickly silenced when her hands slide under his shirt on his hotel bed.

“We should talk,” says Lily, straddling him.

James forgets every word he knows. “Um.”

“About this,” she prompts, leaning down to kiss him. “You were sort of right about us lacking time.”

“Give me half an hour,” says James, his hands on her hips. She swats at his chest. She raises an eyebrow at him, but he blames her entirely for any idiocy that comes out while she’s on top of him. 

“James.”

He sits up so he can look at her properly. And, because he can, he moves his hands up and down her sides. “Two months until you’re back,” he says, determined. “That’s all.”

She runs a hand through his hair. “That’s the rest of your summer gone. We might not feel so hot and bothered in England.”

“Good,” he says, laughing. “I’d rather not do what we did in the toilets yesterday somewhere where my mother might run into us. She’s got enough to embarrass me with as is.”

“I’m offering you an out,” she tries again, her hand moving to his cheek. “This doesn’t have to be anything more than it is.”

He kisses her quickly, because he wants to. “Shame,” says James. “Because it’s already quite a bit.”

“Yeah?” 

James nods. “Sorry, Evans. You’re stuck with me unless you ask me to go.”

She straightens his glasses, giving him a dubious look. “You don’t seem like the patient type, Potter. I doubt you’ve had to wait for much.”

“I play football, don’t I?” he counters, pulling her closer. “You know what that teaches you? Endurance. I can endure it, Evans.”

“Alright then,” says Lily, finally smiling. She moves her mouth back to his. “Let’s test your stamina.”

x.

As Lily walks beside him at the airport, the crowd that forms is even larger than before. But at moment, all he is thinking about is another airport, two months from now, when Lily will be back in England and he will be able to do more than just send poop emojis at her to show her how he feels. 

He takes her hand in his, and doesn’t need to feign a grin as a flash goes off. 

“Are you just holding my hand for the internet fame?” Lily asks teasingly, tangling their fingers together. 

“Oh, absolutely.”

Behind them, the boys start to prod them along, knowing that they are trying their best to prolong this walk. When they reach the gate, Sirius, Peter and Remus give Lily their farewells, leaving James alone to say goodbye. 

“Did you have a good time?” Lily asks, her hands at the collar of his coat. 

“Terrible,” he says, before kissing her.

She grins, pulling back. “Liar.” Reluctantly, she releases him. “You’ll let me know when you get back?”

James nods. “And you do the same,” he says, squeezing her hand. An announcement is made, and he knows it’s time to go. Sighing, he begins to walk away.

“Potter!”

“Yeah?” he calls back, glancing over his shoulder. 

Lily is holding his former cell phone between her fingers. “Call me.”

#james potter #lily evans #jily #jily* #marauders #i did minimal research here so let's just say they're in beijing #bc it looks like you can get there in a single flight from the uk #mine #anonymous #asks for ts #i'm sure there are 10000 typos i'm not seeing right now but enjoy