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#that she's trying to sort of distance herself from the depths of her own feelings in case this DOESN'T work out
itspileofgoodthings · 11 months
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one of my favorite things about pride and prejudice is that in the last third of the book Elizabeth’s internal monologue about Darcy is her admitting that she’s in love with him but also putting all sorts of qualifications around that statement that kind of ...tamp down the level of emotion (the “feelings, if not as tender as Jane’s for Bingley, at least as just” line, even the whole thing about her and Darcy being well-matched objectively speaking) and as soon as she’s engaged you get the unbridled joy in the narrative about her own joy, cc: “I am happier even than Jane; she only smiles, I laugh.” 
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missfrieden · 4 days
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Tech as a father Chapter 45
It is short, but I am not the best at writing good byes.
Masterlist
Chapter 45: Strange siblings
As the troops packed up their equipment and prepared to leave, the tension in the air was palpable. Tech had to take Orion away from Amanda once again, and the heart-wrenching moment of saying goodbye weighed heavily on them. They couldn't show any emotional connection in front of the troops, despite the fact that they were now married. What felt right, despite the dangerous secret it is.
Tech held Orion close, his little son nestled against his chest, and looked at Amanda with a mix of love and sadness in his eyes. Amanda tried to maintain her Jedi composure, but her eyes betrayed the sadness she felt. "Until next time," Tech said softly, masking his emotions. Making sure only Amanda heard it. "May the Force be with you," Amanda replied in a formal tone, struggling to hide her own feelings.
Most troops filed into the transports, while some stayed back being stationed on the planet, and the Bad Batch prepared to leave Callo. As the ships took off, Tech watched the planet recede in the distance, knowing that they had to maintain the secrecy of their connection for Orion's safety. Taking the small package Amanda handed him, with a smile he looks at the content, a simple ring, engraved with just two letters, the aurebsh T and A.
Amanda, standing alone on the ground, watched the ships disappear into the sky, a mix of emotions swirling within her. She knew she had made the right choice to protect Orion, but the pain of separation was difficult to bear. Once the ships were gone, she turned and walked back to the rebuild the Jedi Temple, where the echoes of their time together still lingered. Amanda knew that the love she felt for Tech and Orion would always be a part of her, even if they could only be together in stolen moments like these.
As Alma rushed towards Amanda through the newly rebuilt Jedi Temple, her face flushed with excitement and her big grey eyes shining with joy. She couldn't contain her enthusiasm any longer. "Amanda! Amanda!" Alma called out, reaching her mentor.
Amanda turned towards Alma, her expression a mix of surprise and curiosity. "What is it, Alma? Why are you so excited?" Looking at Alma’s usually soft pink cheeks, which are now way darker, be it from running or whatever mystery she wants to share.
Alma took a deep breath, trying to compose herself. "I know it's against the Jedi code, but... I can't help it. I feel attached to Orion. He's like a little brother to me. I can't explain it, but every time when I held him, it was like a connection, a bond."
Amanda smiled warmly at Alma's confession, understanding the depth of the emotions that had developed between her Padawan and Orion. She reached out and placed a hand on Alma's shoulder. Amanda always considered Alma as a sort of daughter, knowing that most likely she projects her feelings, but she accepts them. "Alma, the Force works in mysterious ways," Amanda said gently. "Sometimes, it forges connections that go beyond our understanding. Your attachment to Orion is not something to be ashamed of. It's a sign of compassion and love. Just remember to find balance in all things, as the Jedi teachings guide us."
Alma nodded, her eyes shining with gratitude. "Thank you, Amanda." Amanda squeezed Alma's shoulder and gave her a reassuring smile. "You're welcome, Alma. Now, let's continue your training and honour the Force in all we do." As they walked together through the rebuilt Jedi Temple, the bond between Master and Padawan grew stronger, and Amanda couldn't help but feel grateful for the unexpected connections that had brought her, strange family closer together.
Chapter 46
Reblogs are very welcome and I am open for feedback, as english is not my first language, so maybe my sentences may be weird sometimes, or I write a word wrong even with google, or I use a wrong word for an item.
Tag: @spectacular-skywalker @aalizazareth @neyswxrld @clonethirstingisreal @sleepycreativewriter @moonwreckd
One more episode... and honestly I am not sure if I would even be able to write about Plan 99. Or what will happen. I have a general idea for when my beloved Tech may not return... but it feels so overly used.
Also I am cooking up some short Hunter drabble, hopefully it does not stay a wip
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ladylyra · 23 days
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I'm ngl I've been dying to ask about them and I love when you talk about your characters so I was wondering if maybe you'd be interested in talking a lil about Lucille, Lihue, and Souta? I'm kinda curious about their dynamic but also just them as characters so it's up to you how you want to answer!! Thank you!
i'll talk about them independently and then their dynamics!! thank you for asking!! sorry i talked a lot not a little
lucille is a very others-focused person; if she has the opportunity to help someone out, she will. she enjoys feeling like she is doing the right thing, of course, but she also craves the praise and attention that comes along with it. she's very expressive and silly, which can make her 'funny' to observe, but she's got a different sense of humor than someone like souta; i can't really imagine her ever making a habit of serious jokes at someone else's expense. she really just wants everyone to feel welcome and like they have a place. her greatest weakness is probably her lack of focus and her need for external validation; she has a lot of ideas in her head of what she feels is right and what she should do, but heavily relies on the discipline of others around her to help with implementation and "streamline" her goals and formulate concrete plans. She's gotten better at doing this on her own with age and experience, though, so she's been able to be more independent and an effective leader. she's constantly trying to see the best in others, and their potential, so she can get caught down rabbit holes of situations she may be better off abandoning.
lihue is all about self improvement and efficiency. she hates wasting her time and if she's involving herself in something, it is usually because she feels like there's something she can learn from it. to her, skill acquisition is how she gains self-sufficiency; relying on others too much makes her uncomfortable and she has huge issues with vulnerability. she tries to approach all emotions from an analytical lens and can come off as insensitive as a result. while this emotional neglect impacts others, it has also impacted herself greatly; she is normally very decisive, but her reluctance to pay mind to her emotions has left an experience gap, making her hesitant, scared, and unsure in vulnerable exchanges she considers far outside her depth. rather than wade through her emotions, she holds others at a distance. this is her biggest fault, and something she is actively working on; despite her attitude, which can sometimes come off as if she thinks herself better than others, she is highly self critical, and she doesn't feel like she can ever do enough to distance herself from her past actions.
souta can come off as a "just here to have fun" sort of guy on the surface, but he's far more deep than he lets on, and he takes a lot of enjoyment in seeing others try to understand him. a lot of the things he says and does are to see how others respond, noting their patterns and behaviors, information he stores for use later. because of this, it comes off like he always has a reply to whatever is thrown at him--some detail said offhandedly in a previous convo? he probably remembers that. some nervous tick? he saw that, too. as you may expect, he has a teasing problem, which can make serious conversations a struggle to attain; sometimes, this is just him getting caught up in conversations he sees as games he can win, other times it is a deliberate effort to obfuscate since he does have, to a smaller degree, vulnerability issues like lihue. because he has no memory of his life as a human, he places a great value on his current life and works to carve out a unique identity and purpose; whether that past person was good or bad, he does not want to define himself or be defined by others as someone he doesn't even view as himself. he likes to maintain a sense of independence and control over his life--he loathes ever feeling obligated to do something, and he would rather everything be a product of his own choice. to him, that makes his loyalty worth even more, right?
OKAY NOW THE SEPARATE DYNAMICS
lucille and souta have definitely gotten the most time together. he finds her authenticity and self-sacrificing nature admirable and she's very fun to watch. she's expressive and doesn't tend to hide her thoughts, so it's instant gratification whenever he does something. i don't see him as someone who is super approval-seeking normally ( he's pretty confident on his own) but i think he is a little desperate (won't admit it) for lucille to like him and to find him funny. she was definitely the one most interested in learning about his past life / backstory. the attention was a feeling he got hooked on and got really into baiting, until the point that it began to make her overthink things and for him to start feeling not seen for who he was in the present. they both enjoy being around someone they can have fun with, so they can sometimes forget to GET SERIOUS but they have some good serious moments too (she makes him more committal and honest, he makes her more introspective, both start to think a little more long term because they want the other person there, ect). i didn't plan them from the start, and i only began to explore them after lihue had left. i think comparing them as lucille's 'options' is natural as a result. souta offers a lot that lihue never did; he's a little evasive when hes a tease, but he also doesn't hesitate to validate lucille when she needs it, and he finds her reactions as a result just as satisfying. his decision to follow her also means a lot to her; she's someone who values loyalty highly, and it is difficult for her to let people she loves go. with him, she doesn't find herself questioning loyalty or if he loves her, which means a lot to her.
lucille and lihue were far more planned early-on. i feel their personalities compliment more obviously: high extroversion vs high introversion, lucille is more head-in-the-clouds, lihue is more practical and efficient. lucille's warm and accepting, lihue is critical and severe. with them, i think a mistake would be to believe that lihue was somehow the more mature one. lucille is more upbeat, seemingly "gullible", and allows her herself more vulnerability, but this permission to feel isn't immaturity; it is an acceptance she may be hurt, but she'll take the risk because she wants the chance to connect with others. lihue runs from situations she is scared of and hurts people like lucille as a result. even as she learns this to be wrong, she feels she can never recover from what she has done. it's a game of lucille forgiving and giving chances, and lihue feeling she doesn't deserve the chances or isn't ready for anything lucille has to offer. there's some merit to this; lucille shouldn't have to tolerate being hurt because she is living for someone's potential, but she truly does want lihue in her life, whether it be as a friend or something else, so she's just working on being a good person and someone lihue can rely on once she allows herself that vulnerability. another thing with them is sorting through if you still like a person or if you like your memories of them, since they did originally like each other when they were younger, and a lot of time has passed since then; they are trying to navigate this as more mature people. definitely a big hurdle is that lihue's past behavior does make lucille paranoid about the future, but she's managing this by just being realistic with her expectations and accepting she can't control lihue, only herself.
well well well……….souta and lihue. souta does not feel threatened by lihue at all; he sees her as highly predictable, easy to run circles around, and definitely easy to poke fun at. he'd probably be more inclined to be 'harsher' to her than to lucille because lihue wants to act tough all the time. since she's so self-critical, she'd probably expect that he'd be more confrontational toward her over lucille (she deserves it right?) but he isn't actually. he talks to her about it casually or just makes small jabs about it, but nothing that would start a fight. serious fights aren't his vibe and he thinks lucille can voice her feelings herself. lihue might feel a little jealous that he offers a lot that she feels she cant. BUT BESIDES THE LUCILLE FACTOR. i did intend them to be friends early in the comic. they often appeared more as a pair before lihue left the team. lihue sees him as someone who is highly intelligent but who wastes his time on things that are too inane. she doesn't see the logic in his behavior and feels he wastes a lot of time on things that don't matter. like lucille, he's distinguished from lihue by his extroversion, but he's less silly; he's also a little bit more intimidating because he doesn't see the need to be careful with her. likewise, she also doesn't waste time sparing his feelings, so i can imagine their exchanges coming off as incredibly harsh or direct, and potentially off-putting to outsiders. i think they have a 'bite' to them which has its own appeal--i think she'd eventually catch up to his teases and try to be just as ruthless back.
i definitely have my personal biases for what i feel is 'best' for certain characters and what is most narratively satisfying (whole separate conversation), but i enjoy exploring them all and think they've got interesting drama. i think about them a lot. they have a playlist. i have songs. theyre always on my mind
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bunnygirlwhore · 10 months
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Royalty kink
Your queen seems worried about something as you help her out of the ball gown.
"Is there something on your mind my queen?"
"Oh, nothing. I was just hoping one of the potental suitors at that ball would be of interest to me."
"My queen, you know that the kingdom cares not if you are wed."
"Oh, my precious maid, I had a compltely different sort of interest in mind."
You aren't sure what she meant by that, so you continue to help her out of the dress but you pause before leaving the room... It couldn't hurt to ask... "My queen, is there anything I could do to be of assistance?"
She looks at you, her gaze piercing. She seems to be taking stock of you almost. You feel like a cornered prey animal for a moment and then she beckons you closer, "I think so, just one last thing I need to check. Come here."
You cautiously move closer, keeping a respectful distance. She moves closer, placing her hands on your shoulders. She gently pushes you towards her bed, sitting you down. Your heart is racing. You almost ask what she's doing and then she pulls you into a kiss, her tongue plunging into your mouth and pressing down on yours.
When she pulls back you're left reelinng, she gives you a brief command. "Strip."
You start to do just as she commanded, she starts doing the same. You're too focused on getting off your uniform to notice her finishing getting undressed before you. She takes a moment to watch you fumble, her royal ten inch rod fully hard and dripping with pre. Then she bats your hands away and starts swiftly undressing you the rest of the way herself, the process is slow and sensual. Her hands frequently take breaks to admite your form, gently squeezing your hips, running a thumb over your lips, grinding against you from behind. "Do well enough and I just might have to make a wife out of you... Im shocked I never noticed my own maid was so adorable sooner than today."
"Thank you, my queen." A blush that had already appeared on your face intensifies greately.
She sits down on the bed with you in her lap, her hands on your hips, "Tell me, you've always been so very loyal. How much would you do for your queen?"
"A-anything for you, my queen.."
"Then sit still while I grope this ass of yours." Before you know it she has your face shoved into the bed and her hands are gowing to town on your ass. You can't help but moan. She gives your ass a rough smack. "I said no moving, that includes making sounds."
After ten long agonizing pleasurable minutes of sitting still while your queen goes to town playing with your butt to her hearts content she says "You may moan now," then slams her length into you up to the hilt all at once. You moan so loud and so whorishly that Angels hear you from heaven and that Demons are impressed by the depths of your lust. She lets out an amused breath and then starts thrusting, rough and fast. Her hands are gripping your hips, roughly, painfully. You try to say something but its drowned out by more of your own moans.
"Gods above you're such a good fuck! You're my consort now, understood slut? You live to worship me, and my wife once I find one, whenever we please and however we please."
You manage a simple, "YES!" as she slams into you and starts to pump you full of her royal seed.
"Oh you are going to serve your queen so well~ Now then, get ready for your second load of the night." And without any warning she starts up again. You'll be a perfect consort for your queen.
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portaltothevoid · 2 years
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For Whom the Bell Tolls - Chapter 3 - Chains of Misery
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Pairing: Eddie Munson x OFC (Kat Ramsay), sequel to Foolin’
Summary: Details from Kat’s past are revealed. Tension between her and Eddie leads to an interesting revelation. 
Warnings: established relationship, angst, fluff (if you squint)
Word count: 2.2k
Chapter song: Chains of Misery by Iron Maiden
Tag list: @munchabunch @madaboutmunson @michele131 @riffcrusader @idiot-parade @prettyboyeddiemunson​
 “Alright, so this is what’s called a sensory deprivation tank. This will allow your mind to expand and you can see into the past and present. Once your body relaxes, I’m going to play some security tapes of that day and hope it will bring back the memories of what happened,” Hank instructed.
Kat nodded as she got into the salt water pool that had overtaken her garage. The space heaters at every corner of the room did little to keep out the biting winter cold. Hesitantly, she got in. Luckily the water was at a bearable temperature. She floated on her back, took a deep breath, and closed her eyes. The TV powered on in the distance, the whirring of a tape being put into the VHS player filled the room. She lost herself in the white noise.
When she opened her eyes, she looked down at her body. She was a lot smaller and in a hospital gown. “Where am I?” she wondered aloud. There was no response. The children all around her were keeping to their own devices, keeping themselves occupied with various activities. Glancing around the room, she saw a rainbow lining the wall as well as the floor. 
A middle aged man wearing a suit walked into the room. He sat down next to her as she was by herself. “That’s your favorite, isn’t it?” he asked.
As confused as she was, she went with the flow. Sitting in a chair, she realized she had a Magic 8 ball in her hand. She didn’t respond to the man’s question. When he was fully seated next to her, he asked another, “How are you feeling today?”
“Okay…” she replied slowly.
“Are you up for some more lessons?”
In response she shook the 8 ball. They both looked at its answer: “Signs point to yes.”
“Alright then,” he said getting up, “let’s go.” He held out his hand, which she took. She was led through the doorway and down the hall. On the way to wherever they were going, the pair passed a woman with another child.
“Dr. Ellis,” he greeted with a nod.
“Dr. Brenner,” she returned with the same gesture.
The man, this doctor, brought her to what seemed to be a testing room of sorts. He put a device on her head that measured her brainwaves. It was here that she realized her hair was buzzed. Wherever she was, she was calm. In the back of her mind, in her current body, the anxiety was creeping in.
She sat patiently, her eyes closed. The man cleared his throat. She heard the scratching of something writing on paper. “Okay,” he started, “what do you see?”
Her eyes moved back and forth rapidly under her closed lids. It was as if she was searching the depths of its darkness for an answer. 
“Don’t force it. Let it come to you, just like we practiced,” he encouraged.
A simple, crayon drawing of a sun flashed through her mind. “It’s…” she started still trying to hold on to the information that was rapidly showing itself to her. “A yellow circle? A sun! It’s the sun.” 
“Very good, very good,” he commented. She heard some movement on the table. “Alright, let’s see…” He paused a moment before speaking again, “Okay, now what do you see?”
This image was harder for her to decipher. The man was clearly a scientist as his artistic abilities were lackluster. She furrowed her brow. “Um… a cow?”
“It’s… supposed to be a dog.”
She smiled in amusement, “It looks like a cow.”
“It does, doesn’t it? I never was much of an artist,” he admitted with a laugh. “Let’s try something a little bit more challenging. Is that alright with you?” he asked as he scribbled something down on a notepad. She nodded her hand. “I want you to find Dr. Ellis. Can you do that?”
Again, she nodded as she pulled her eyebrows together in concentration. Her eyes darted back and forth under her lids again. Clear as day, she was able to see the woman from the hallway.
“Have you found her?”
“Yes.”
“What’s she doing?”
“Lessons with 006 in his room.”
“What kind of lessons?”
“006 is trying to move a block, a red block.”
“Can you hear what they’re saying?”
It was as if she was in the room with them, a fly on the wall. She was in the corner watching, listening to them. Her breath became short, her heart rate increased. Looking around, there was blood on the walls. The lesson was cut short by a threat. “Something’s wrong…”
“If you’ve lost the visual just let it go. Try to reorient.”
“There’s screaming,” she divulged as she heard the distorted sounds in her mind. An impending feeling of doom was slowly creeping up her body. “He’s coming.”
“What? Why are they screaming?”
Her palms began to sweat. Her heart felt as if it was going to beat out of her chest. She could feel the warm crimson liquid drip from her nose as she tried to stay in the room, watching. 
“010?” The man addressed her as the alarm simultaneously rang through the building. He jumped up immediately, going straight to an intercom. “Peter? Alec? What’s going on out there?” 
“Sir, we’ve got a situation,” a voice responded. The connection was weak as it was coming in and out, breaking up.
Her eyes fluttered open. Fear etched on her face. She looked over at him. “006… Dr. Ellis… they’re… they’re dead. They’re both dead. I saw… He’s coming!” she repeated.
A loud thud could be heard from outside, followed by a scream. Kat immediately pictured a surge of impenetrable energy surrounding her body, encasing it like a bubble. Slowly, the doctor moved toward the door. He inched closer and closer to the constant screams coming from the other side. He was scared. He couldn’t even hide it. Another drop of blood leaked from Kat’s nose as she kept the forcefield around her. 
Then the door was blown open.
It knocked Dr. Brenner out, he laid flat on his back. Kat’s eyes widened in sheer terror. With the force of the blast she flew backwards, knocking over the monitors and other lab equipment in the process. She felt nothing as she was protected by her own energy. She also knew it was invisible to everyone else, but her. Tightly shutting her eyes, she let herself fall to the floor.
The sound from the TV cut out and she thrashed in the water as she pulled herself upright. Her breathing was labored and heavy. She looked around for Hank. “What the fuck was that?” she demanded.
“You were reliving a memory,” he said simply. “That’s enough for today. I have this feeling once you fully unlock what happened that night, the rest will come back and you won’t have to go through this.”
“You’re out of your goddamn mind if you think I’m doing that again,” she said curtly as she got out of the pool.
“Kat, it’s the only way. You may still have your powers, unlike 011, but you don’t understand your full potential. In order to beat whatever is coming, you need to know what you’re capable of.”
– – – – – 
“Munson! Turn that fucking shit down!” They heard someone yelling outside the trailer. It was a tight squeeze, but the weekend following band practice, Eddie convinced Kat to buy a drum set and set it up in his trailer. They pushed as much furniture as they could against the walls, leaving just enough space for him to play his guitar against the kitchen counter that separated the two areas. 
“What? Turn it down?” he mocked as he went over to his amp to increase the volume. Kat laughed as he started to play the “Master of Puppets” guitar solo. She followed suit jumping in with her drums. 
The music wasn’t enough to hear the shooting of a gun not too far off in the distance. They immediately stopped. Eddie just hung his head while Kat wasn’t sure if she should be scared or not. 
“Uh, that’s gonna be it for tonight?”
“These fucking drunk hicks just can’t mind their own goddamn business,” he said with palpable irritation. 
“I can go fuck ‘em up, if you want?” Kat offered, getting up from the stool.
Within seconds, Eddie had a vice grip on her arm. “No.”
“But I–”
“It’s different when there is a shitfaced asshole with a gun, Kat,” he warned, tightening his grip even further.
“Ow, okay! I got it,” she said, forcing her arm out of his hold, “I got it, Mr. Protective.” She eyed him wondering what the hell had gotten into him.
He left the room to put his guitar back in its rightful place. Wordlessly, he then dragged his amp back into his room. Kat, also silent, broke down the drum set.
She handed the last bag to Eddie as he expertly arranged them in his closet. “There. Fits pretty perfectly for a shoe box,” his tone terse. He knew taking out his emotions on Kat was the last thing he needed to be doing, but he was so fed up with himself having been left to his own devices for most of the day. The neighbor was the last straw; he couldn’t hide what he was feeling.
He worried about her. She wasn’t even trying to hide the smoking around him anymore. When he made a comment, she just shrugged it off and switched to joint after joint. He couldn’t help her, because he didn’t know how and it was eating him alive inside.
“I didn’t mean anything bad by saying that yesterday…I didn’t know it was gonna bother you so much,” she said meekly, clearly aware his mood had gone sour.
“Yeah, well, how was I supposed to know that through your bitchy sarcasm?” Immediately he winced once the words were out of his mouth.
“I– Excuse me?” she said, taken aback by the venom in his voice.
Instantly he deflated when he saw how hurt she looked, letting out a sigh. He rubbed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose for a second. “I’m sorry I… I’m scared too, okay?” he admitted as he sat next to her on his bed.
“What? Why are you scared?”
“Because I see what’s happening to you. How you’re coping. And I…” His voice dropped to a whisper as he avoided eye contact with her, “I don’t– I know I can’t help you. There’s nothing I can do…”
“Hey,” she murmured, reaching up to gently turn his head so he was looking at her, “just being here with me? Just jamming with me? That helps more than you know. I don’t have to hide from you like I do everybody else.”
He nodded even though that would never be enough. If he knew how to take her fear and her pain away, he would. That’s all he wanted to do. But he was powerless. His face puckered when he remembered, “You never told me what you were working on with your Uncle last month.” 
“Oh… That… We were– He was helping me remember…what happened the last time I lived here…” she struggled to get the words out. The silence was deafening around her. She feared even just mentioning it could bring about something catastrophic. He grabbed her hand, encouraging her to go on. “I blocked a lot of it out, but it never affected my powers. Or so I thought. Um, but yeah… Remembering what happened helped me discover more about myself, I guess. And then we worked on strengthening what I can do until he got called back to Nevada.” Now it was her turn to avoid his gaze.
“So you’re even more of a badass than we thought, huh?” he smirked as he lightly bumped her shoulder with his. 
“Yeah,” she let out a laugh through her nose, “you should see me when I’m sober.”
Any lightheartedness flew out the window when she made that comment. The pain returned in Eddie’s eyes and Kat’s gaze was far away. Blinking quickly, she brought herself to look at him. “Look, I’m gonna be okay. This… this is nothing compared to how I was just before I turned sixteen or even last July. I feel crazy, but not that crazy. I just…hope it doesn’t get to that point…I haven’t had another nightmare, so… Maybe this just has to run its course.” She tightened her grip on his hand, anchoring herself to him for comfort.
“Well, if it does, you’ll tell me?” 
“Probably. Unless you’re gonna stop me, then… probably not,” she winced at her own words.
“At least she’s honest,” he said, ruffling her hair and wrapping his hand around her head to pull her close to him. “Wait, you turned sixteen in ‘83 right?”
“Yeah? Why?”
“That’s when really weird shit was happening here. Like really weird. Like the Byers kid went missing and then was found dead, but somehow that was a mistake and he was alive. And then July… there was some really weird mall fire at Starcourt. Brand new mall just totally went up in flames. A bunch of people were there too somehow after hours? It never made any sense, but what if…”
“What if it had to do with what my dreams are about…” she finished for him, pulling away to look at him. Shock dawned on her face.
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greyias · 2 years
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Prompt: "Can-can you hold me?" "Yeah, yeah, I can do that. Of course, come here." Hiya! Idk if you're still doing prompts but I saw this on Pinterest and thought of you and the F!JK x Theron ship. I thought it was such a good prompt for possibly newly married Theron x JK full of feels and fluff 🥺. Ty! 💕 -athunter99 (I really need to get a Tumblr and start writing fanfic myself 💀)
Hello there! Good to hear from you again! This prompt response is definitely more in the spirit of the prompt, rather than the exact wording. Hopefully that’s okay!
Takes place after the events of the “Secrets of the Enclave” Flashpoint, and is partially me grousing to myself about some of the odd writing choices foisted upon the player character.
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As a Jedi, some things should have been simple to summon.
The ability to calm one’s own mind and find peace within the Force, or the power to focus one’s thoughts on a task to the point where there was no thinking of anything else—those should have been simple. However both calm and tranquility seemed out of reach after the events deep within Enclave’s ruins. Her nerves felt nearly on fire — not in the electric, literal manner she had felt when she was electrocuted on Iokath, but in a far more unsettling way. It was as though something had seeped into her bones during their voyage to the depths under the old Jedi Enclave. Something dark and angry and foreign that made her skin crawl and left her adrift.
In these moments, a Jedi should take a minute to breathe and connect to the Force in order to anchor themselves in the present. Unfortunately, the pervasive sense of wrongness accompanied her every time she tried to sit motionless, close her eyes, and reach out to the all-encompassing thrum of the universe surrounding her. If she tried to bring herself back to the moment as she faced off against the Imperial colonel down below — it was as if whatever darkness that clung to the walls of the Enclave invaded her mind, and the anger would bubble back up within her.
That anger pulsating within her veins, pounding within her head, driving out reason. It was at once foreign, and yet a part of her. Like some invisible puppeteer had been pulling at a string, and her baser instincts had responded immediately. Even now, with time and distance between the Enclave, it was hard to sort out if everything down there had been just her, or if some outside machination had been working her like a marionette.
She opened her eyes to take in her room on Odessen, letting out the breath she’d been holding as a long, tired sigh. She sat cross-legged in the middle of the room, her normally tamed hair mussed and askew from too much time spent in bed, on the floor, and every position in between to try and find some peace. Despite the late hour, the lights above gleamed brightly because right now darkness felt at once too metaphorical and yet also too physical and altogether too suffocating.
For not the first time tonight, she glanced at the empty bed with a sense of longing that had little to do with the yearnings of the flesh, at least, not in the most lascivious sense. In some circles, it might be sacrilegious, but in recent years she had come to find that connection to the Force came in many forms. It was more traditional to find solace in meditation, but sometimes when the mind could not be tamed, the physical embrace of another was as much a balm to the soul. For if the very nature of the Force was connection, then in some ways, it could be the basest form of meditation.
Grey ran fingers over her face as those thoughts ran through her mind, briefly distracting her from darker concerns plaguing her mind. Stars, if some of the stricter cudgels back from her Padawan days could hear her thoughts, she was fairly certain they would have been apoplectic at the notion. The barest hints of a smile quirked at the corners of her lips at that thought — even half a galaxy away, somehow Theron could still manage to distract her.
He was still back on Coruscant on one of the rare moments of his time off, visiting with Satele. An even rarer occurrence, as they had only reconnected in the past few months after years of silence and separation. Theron repairing the strained and troubled relationship with his mother had been one of her secret desires, perhaps in some way, a twisted wish fulfillment on her part. Living vicariously through him what she could never have. 
It was inevitable that visiting Dantooine and its Enclave would drag her thoughts in that direction. And perhaps that was the true reason for her unsettled state. In the most normal of circumstances, a visit to Dantooine had a tendency to stir the festering wound in her soul of what had happened to her parents. Everything there seemed almost designed to remind her of the happy memories and life that had been shattered when her parents had been taken from her and her brothers. 
This time, her short exhalation turned into a snort as she yanked her thoughts out of the vortex that threatened to drag her deeper into the dark mood that was threatening to overtake her. She needed movement, action, to cut this off at the pass.
Heaving herself off of the floor, she trudged to the large holoterminal in the corner of the room. Her fingers hovered several inches away from the keys to operate the device as she worried her lip between her teeth, debating on whether she should actually use it. Her hesitation stemmed less from the time difference between Odessen and Coruscant, and more from not wanting to shatter any peace Theron had achieved during his absence.
After everything that had happened with Theron on his undercover stint, and all of the fallout and healing they’d done together and separately, they had made a promise to each other to be more open with their struggles. It was inevitable that he would find out about the mission to Dantooine — the man was practically addicted to his datapad and intelligence reports. The relevant reports would arrive in his inbox probably before the morning. While as the leader of the Alliance, and a grown woman, she had no need to check in with her husband nor get permission to undertake her duty. Nor would he ask her to shirk it.
But he was a protective man by nature, of her perhaps more than anyone else. He more than anyone else understood the hold her past had on her, despite her best efforts. He had unfortunately been a witness to her breakdown during a relatively simple mission on their last visit there. If he were to find out from a report that she had gone back, and had said nothing to him… she could only imagine the look of hurt that would cross his face.
And that imagining had her finishing the call before the thought even finished.
The blue light in front of her flickered as the connection met on the far end, and the hologram shimmered to life in front of her. A familiar visage met her, although Theron’s features seemed to pass from inquisitive to concern in almost a millisecond.
“Hey,” she said casually, even though a million thoughts and worries had already churned through her mind. In some ways, the appearance of his face was a relief of its own.
“Hey yourself,” he said, although she could see his eyes narrowing, as if taking everything in. Even though the fuzziness of the image over the long distance left a lot to be desired in terms of clarity, it seemed that he could still make out enough to jump to a few conclusions. “Not that I’m not always happy to see you, but… isn’t it a bit late on your end of the galaxy?”
“I…” she hesitated, before deciding to plow ahead before she could talk herself out of the rest of the conversation. “I had a long day, and just wanted to see a friendly face.”
“Ah,” he said, and she could already see the concern still etched on his face, even though he tried to hide it. “What happened? Everything alright?”
“We found Malgus,” she said after a moment’s hesitation. “On Dantooine.”
A moment of silence passed, his expression clouding over as he seemed to process that. “I’ll be on the next flight back. Satele will understand—”
“No,” she said quickly, “you don’t need to—we already… I already went. And came back.”
“What?” The question seemed to have come out sharper than he intended, because he winced right after the word left his lips as if an apology of sorts.
“Everything happened so fast,” she explained, but the words sounded like a hollow excuse to her ears. “We couldn’t let the trail get cold.”
“No, no. You’re right. It’s just…” He let out a sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. “I would have gone with you. You shouldn’t have had to go there alone.”
“Arn was with me.” It was said lightly, an attempt a humor and to forestall him trying to place any accountability on his shoulders for a situation that was out of his control. “And Aryn Leneer.”
“Who? Wait, never mind, I can pull that up myself in a second. How are you?”
That was the question of the moment, wasn’t it? As she tried to reach for the words, to try and find a way to explain everything that had happened in the Enclave, that inexplicable anger and darkness that had pervaded not just it, but seemingly into her, this call almost seemed to be an exercise in futility. Perhaps this was just a ploy of her subconscious to assuage the lingering guilt and doubts plaguing her. Or even worse, pass it on to him without intending to.
“I am,” she drew the statement out, still unable to articulate her issue at hand, “unsettled.”
That prompted a deeper frown. “In what way?”
Her resolve to continue the conversation was rapidly waning. In person, perhaps this would have gone the same way, except she could have found her cheek pressed into his chest. Could breathe in his scent as she tried to gather her thoughts, feel each beat of his heart like a steadying metronome. The intervals between her words would be filled with continual reassurances of his presence, rather than unpleasant silences.
“It’s difficult to put into words,” she said after a long pause. “Force stuff,” she added, a feeble attempt at humor in response to his grimace.
The deep set look of concern didn’t falter, if anything, his lips pressed together in a familiar brooding expression. Even when they were in the same room, she had a hard time trying to decipher whatever thoughts went behind that mask. Worlds apart, it was impossible.
“I can get all the details of what happened from the report, which I will read on the flight back,” he said. “But that’s a secondary concern right now.”
She dropped her gaze as she fidgeted, her voice coming out smaller than she liked. “You do not need to return on my account. I do not wish to pull you away from your visit with Satele. Your time together is already short.”
“You’re avoiding the subject,” he admonished gently. “And considering Malgus is our top priority right now, I’d be on my way back regardless of whatever my stubborn bride says.”
She fixed him with a look, which he just returned with an arched brow.
“Besides,” he added, “I can always schedule another visit. I’m pretty sure my boss back on Odessen will give me the vacation time. I think she likes me.”
Despite herself, that elicited a snort of amusement. He always had a way of defusing tension with just a sprinkling of dry wit, and in a way, it helped loosen her tongue. “I am having a hard time sorting through some pieces of the mission. Everything down there just felt… wrong.”
“How?”
She shrugged helplessly at him. “I don’t know, the Force was… not right. Everything and everyone was just so aggressive and angry and—I do not know if Malgus did something to that place or if it was just me and…”
Theron reached out through the hologram, as if on instinct, and then dropped his hand when he seemed to realize his error. “You’ve got history there. It’s understandable for that to get mixed up into everything.”
“No, no, it’s not just that. There was this Colonel for the Imperial Reclamation Service there. We fought and disarmed him and—I was going to strike him down. It was like I didn’t even think there was another option.”
That frown returned, lips setting into a thin line as he regarded her from the other end of the holo. “I’m booking my flight now. I’ll be en route in less than an hour.”
She opened her mouth to argue one last time, but his stern expression silenced it before it even left her lips. “Okay.”
“It’s late,” the sternness in his voice gentled, “you should get some rest.”
“I tried,” she admitted quietly. “Didn’t work.”
“Go get a sleeping aid from the infirmary,” he said. “You need rest.”
Grey nodded before the hologram flickered out, and she was once again left in the darkness of her room. She stared at the spot where his image had been for a long moment before turning away. He was probably right about getting a sleeping aid to knock her out, but just the thought of something else taking away another shred of control was a bit too much. If she couldn’t meditate, and she couldn’t sleep, and wouldn’t take something to sleep, then just needed to keep moving.
With nothing else to do, she planted her feet in the center of the room, and began to work through a series of movements that she’d seen Theron do on many a late night when sleep evaded him. The Matukai form of moving meditation was all about creating balance and harmony between the spirituality of the Force and the physical body. Even if her husband could not wield the Force as she did, he still seemed to find some sort of comfort and solace in the movements, and so she moved through the complex positions and dizzying movements, over and over again until her body was moving on autopilot and her mind was finally, blessedly, empty.
She wasn’t sure how long she’d been standing in the middle of her room, but the soft swish of the door opening behind her brought her back to reality. Her muscles protested as she turned to see Theron standing in the doorway, a weary look on his face.
“I thought I told you to get some rest,” he said as he stepped into the room, dropping his travel bag to the floor unceremoniously.
“Got a little distracted,” she protested weakly.
“I’m also hazarding a guess you didn’t visit the infirmary.” At the silent shake of her head he let out a wearied sigh. “You are so stubborn sometimes.”
She was a bit too tired at the moment to argue against that so she just shrugged.
“Come here,” he said, somewhere between exasperation and fondness, holding out his arms.
It was a long moment before she managed to make her feet move, but when she did she rushed into his arms, pressing her face into his chest. The simple act of having him nearby calmed her, and she wrapped her arms around him and held on tight. The warmth of his embrace was a balm of its own, and she practically felt herself melting into it. She took a deep breath and then another, letting everything else fall away around her. It was easy to become lost in him, in the scent of him, the sound of his heartbeat. When he spoke next, she could feel the rumble of his words against her cheek.
“C’mon, let’s at least get you off your feet.”
As if in a trance, or maybe just pure exhaustion, he led her to the bed. She felt the weight of the world fall away as she sank into the mattress, and the act of crawling under the covers was an almost insurmountable task. He slipped into the bed next to her and pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her and pressing a kiss to the top of her head. The warmth, both of the blankets and his body was a cocoon, and she could feel her jumbled thoughts begin to loosen into actual words. 
His fingers trailed through her hair as she relayed her experience, until slowly the words and syllables began to run together, and didn’t even notice when she finally succumbed to sleep mid-sentence.
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Text
“You’re lazy and rude and you’re a good for nothing little shit-”
Eddie wants to scream in her face, wants to tell her to go fuck herself, but he doesn’t. That numb feeling washes over him, it sinks through his bones. It’s not a good feeling but it’s grounding, keeps him from losing his shit. He stares at her, his face blank, trying to get lost in his own mind so that he doesn’t have to be here.
He tries to tune her out, his ears ringing with the effort or maybe from how loud she’s yelling. Eventually she loses interest, unable to get the reaction out of Eddie that she so clearly craves. 
It’s disgusting, he thinks, how she seems to fucking delight in getting to yell and scream and parade around. Like making me feel small makes her feel bigger, more in control. Fuck her.
She’s stormed off into a different part of the house, still screaming and carrying on but far enough away that Eddie makes a break for it. The creaky door swings shut with a slam that resounds and she must hear it because he hears a roar of anger from the house, like she’s some sort of murderous dragon in the depths of a rotting castle. He rushes down the steps and grabs his bike, swinging onto it and peddling for his fucking life. 
He knows she’s followed him out but he doesn’t look back, not once. He still can’t block out the screams of, “get back here! Get back here right fucking now you useless…”
Eventually the sound falls away or Eddie gets far enough away, he’s not sure, he just pedals and pedals and pedals until the stitch forming in his side becomes too much and he has to slide to a stop. That’s when he realizes he can’t hear the screaming anymore. He gets off his bike and walks next to it, pushing it through town where he’s found himself. The bike clicks as its wheels turn, turn, turn.
Eddie spots it in the distance, a safe haven. 
Eddie hides his bike in the alleyway and enters the little record store. The cashier eyes him like he always does, as though he’s sure Eddie will try and steal something. Just because he’s a brat with a shaved head and looks like he doesn’t have any money to buy anything. He doesn’t but that’s besides the point. 
Eddie wanders the aisles and feels the tightness in his chest ease as his eyes take in the hundreds of covers, records, tapes, everything you could ever desire and more. His eyes land on something that makes his heart stop in his tiny miserable chest. The new Metallica album, it came out this past week. He hasn’t seen it anywhere until now. 
Eddie stares at the small compact cassette that holds, he is sure, pure awesomeness. Eddie glances at the cashier who’s too busy picking at a pimple to notice him when he slides the tape into his pocket. When another customer goes to the door, Eddie follows behind, running on pure adrenaline. 
When he makes it out into the sunlight he can’t believe it, he runs to his bike and grabs it, climbing on. He rides all the way home, praying his mom has decided to go into work today and by some miracle as though Eddie is the luckiest boy alive, when he arrives in the driveway her shitty car is gone. 
Eddie carefully puts his bike away and races up the steps. Slamming the creaky door on it’s shitty hinges in his excitement and running to his room. If you can even call it that, it’s more of a matchbox with a mattress in the corner. Eddie gets onto his hands and knees next to the mattress and rummages under it until he grasps his only treasure, a secret he keeps just to himself. He pulls out the cassette player he’d saved for and okay maybe stole some money out of his dad’s wallet when he was drunk and would never notice but it doesn’t matter. Eddie worked hard to get this small little item in his hands, that would surely be destroyed if he were to let onto it’s existence. So he hides it carefully and it’s worth it because of moments like these. 
Eddie slides the tape out of his pocket and puts it in the player. For the next 45 minutes and 27 seconds, Eddie is transported out of his shitty room into a world of his own. For now he can forget about the yelling and the screaming, and lose himself in another world far, far away from here and now. He can’t wait until the day he’ll have enough money to buy all the tapes he wants, hell he could even buy a guitar and learn to play himself. The possibilities are endless, but Eddie is sure of one thing, he’s not going to be here forever, one day he’s going to get out of this shit hole and he has the strangest feeling that that day is sooner than he thinks. 
Nineteen days later his uncle Wayne comes to get Eddie like he always promised. His old job as a trucker meant Eddie couldn’t live with him but now that he found this new job and a place in-
“Hawkins Eddie, I think you’re really going to like it there.”
Eddie grins at his uncle who glances form the road to look at Eddie. He leans over and ruffles Eddie’s hair that’s started to grow back in and turns up the dial on the radio, letting the car fill with music from the tape he bought Eddie as a gift. Not a stolen tape, a real tape that’s entirely Eddie’s. He’ll treasure it forever. Eddie couldn’t fight the smile on his face even if he wanted to, he just leans on his arm where it’s resting on the open window and takes a deep breath of freedom.
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danses-with-dogmeat · 3 years
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could you write the sensory overload prompt with fallout new vegas companions as well (including benny)? and maybe butch deloria if thats not too much ^^
Romanced! FO3 & FONV Companions React to Autistic!Six/Lone with Sensory Overload Anxiety
Whoops, I ended up doing all of the companions from FO3 as well, my bad 🤷‍♀️
But here they are! Thank you so much for the ask, and I hope you enjoy!
This prompt with FO4 R!Companions
FONV
Arcade:
The doctor would want to help, would actually know how to help, but he may just get overwhelmed as well. He tends to focus on Six themself, rather than the situation surrounding them, that’s where the panic tends to get to him. But Six, he can deal with. If possible, he will try to remove his companion from their stressful surroundings, but whether or not he is able, Arcade tries to stay calm, using his voice, and breathing techniques and exercises he’s read about to try and deflate their rising anxieties. He tends to make sarcastic comments in the aftermath, more so to expel his own pent up anxiety than to help Six, but they don’t need to know that.
Benny:
He's scared out of his mind the first time it happens. Six is pretty much invincible in his eyes, so this… just being around loud noises and such? That's what's rustling their jimmies? Wack. For a small moment, he feels like it's his fault, and even after the courier informs him that this is just a part of who they are, that they have always been this way, he still feels another dizzying pang of regret, knowing that a couple of bullets to the brain probably couldn't have helped their preexisting condition in any way. Over time, he'd get better about helping to calm his partner down, but he starts out rather overbearing, touching them too much, talking too quickly, having a panicked reaction that tends to only escalate the sensory overload they're experiencing. At least Six wouldn't have to worry about their safety in a combat situation with the Ben-man at their side. He's one of the best shots in the Mojave (if not the best). No one is getting past him. He may be an old hat when it comes to injuring Six, but he'll be hot diggidy damned if he's gonna let someone else lay a finger on them under his watch.
Boone:
First off, the sniper would try to prevent Six from entering into any stress-filled situations at all, reminding them that he is more dangerous from a distance anyway. However, he knows that, in the Mojave, avoiding dangerous or overwhelming environments altogether is damn near impossible, so he’ll try to be prepared. He’s dealt with his own vicious bouts of PTSD long enough to have developed coping mechanisms to help him, and has actively used tools like sunglasses and ear plugs in his time with the 1st Recon, which he would recommend to them as well. Boone would approach his partner in their time of need, trying to refrain from being overbearing, but ultimately his support wouldn’t waver as he helped Six try to come down from their state of panic.
Cass:
She honestly doesn't understand how Six has been able to survive in this world with their sensory overload anxiety, and she respects them even more now that she knows they have managed to. She may not be the best at helping them handle their stress, so she usually leaves Six to their own devices while she works on removing anything that could be causing her partner's apprehension. Once the threat is gone, she'll stand nearby until Six has managed to calm themself down, just to cover them and keep an eye out. When it seems to be over, she likes to bring them somewhere to unwind; and enjoys simply sitting with them and maybe having a drink or two as they recover their strength, and bearings.
Raul:
He’ll talk them through the whole ordeal. Is he nervous about their state of panic? Probably. But his partner doesn’t need to know that. The ghoul doesn’t know a lot in terms of dealing with meltdowns, but for Six, he’ll try. Whatever sort of exercises they start to engage in to get their anxiety under control, he’ll be beside them, trying to participate, to help them through it if they seem to be struggling. He’ll get better at dealing with it over time, but it always scares him a bit to see his partner this way. Evidently, he will become more and more aware of his surroundings the more they travel together, and will try to keep them away from the situations he finds tend to set them off.
Veronica:
Whatever it was that seemed to have Six panicked, Veronica would seek to expel it in whatever way she can (but she's most enthusiastic when it involves punching). Her physical assault of the enemies responsible would be relentless, but should the episode be caused by something else, Veronica would be less comfortable dealing with it, but she’ll be damned if she doesn’t try. She mostly leaves Six to figure out their meltdown on their own, maybe going through breathing exercises with them and sticking by their side, but letting them calm themself of their own accord. Her involvement with the Berotherhood has taught her enough to know not to add any pressure to someone enduring this amount of stress. However, when they do eventually tell her that they are through the worst of it, she would try to give them some form of physical contact to help reassure them that she’s there for them, if they are comfortable with it.
FO3
Butch:
He’s known Lone a long time, and since they were kids, he’s been learning about the sort of situations that set them off. Now that they’re together, he’ll try his hardest to think back to all the times they were overwhelmed, and would attempt to keep them from these types of environments as best as he can. That doesn’t always work though, given the differences between the vault and the unpredictable outside world. Despite this, he also tends to remember the way their father used to help them when they became panicked like this, and will try to replicate these actions in order to best help his companion. Once he's succeeded in helping them calm down, they might have to return the favor, as their panic tends to do a number on Butch. Though he has seen them in such a state more than a few times, that doesn’t mean he likes it one bit, or will ever be truly used to it.
Charon:
Calm and collected as ever, Charon would systematically eliminate all stressful factors that could be affecting Lone. When he had seen to that task, he would turn to his partner, standing by their side and waiting for direction of how best he could help them. If they can recover on their own, he’ll be nearby to cover them, but if they are in need of his assistance, as long as they tell him what they need, he will oblige. In the aftermath of Lone’s meltdown, Charon would keep his blue eyes locked on them as his worry wears away at his stoic exterior. They will need to tell him that they are okay, or else he will refuse to carry on with their travels. Until he knows they can handle it, he won’t allow them to set off again.
Clover:
The poor thing would do everything wrong in this instance. She would try so damn hard to help her partner in their time of need, but ultimately she would prove to only add to the list of overwhelming factors surrounding Lone. As soon as she saw the panic wash over her companion, she would be by their side, speaking to them quickly, and as quietly as she could, but her own anxiety would cause a high pitch to sound from her throat as she tried to talk her companion down, running her hands over their arms as she does her best to support them, her frantic touches only serving to quicken their heartbeat further as they felt trapped by her concerned caresses. Once Lone finally does manage to settle down, Clover would be almost hurt by their lack of reciprocation when she tried to aid them; that is, until Lone explains to her that there are better ways for her to help. Now Clover just has to remember this for future instances...
Cross:
She’s been a soldier long enough to know how to deal with stress on the battlefield, but it’s somehow different when it’s her partner going through the ordeal. She’ll be uncharacteristically tender as she takes them through the motions she was taught to use in order to calm her fellow soldiers’ nerves. Her voice would remain soft, her touches gentle, her brows knitted together in concern until Lone finally showed signs of calming down. The paladin would release a long breath, as though finally expelling her own apprehension at the situation, and then would straighten herself up, returning to the seasoned soldier she was in order to face whatever was left of the situation at hand.
Fawkes:
The super mutant has a difficult time with subdelty, and would be worried about overwhelming Lone from his own loud tendencies. Should they start becoming uncomfortable while in his presence, he would actually distance himself from them, trying to turn away any additional factors that could be playing a part in their overload. Once they appear to have calmed themself, Fawkes will check in, apologize, and ask if there was anything he could do to prevent such occurrences from happening while they are in his company.
Jericho:
Fucking hell. We live in the Capital Wasteland. The whole damn place is just one big ass stressful situation. Are they serious?! He’d be confused, and a little pissed off, but if he has a soft spot for anyone, it’s Lone. Dammit. He won’t really know what to do, but he’ll try his best to cover them and keep them from harm’s way as they attempt to calm down and deal with their overload. Afterwards, he’ll gruffly ask if they’re okay, telling them that what they did could’ve gotten them killed, his expression would be a combination of sternness and annoyance, but his body would betray him as it shook in relief at the sight of his companion standing uninjured in front of him. Jericho would nod for the pair to continue on their way impatiently, but his eyes wouldn’t leave Lone as they set off in front of him, concern shining in their depths when he knew no one was there to see it.
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writerfreak001 · 3 years
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#5 (hiccstrid) for the Kiss prompt pweaase😚
5. Angry Kiss
Hiccup was silent the entire way back, and Astrid could barely stomach the guilt swarming inside her gut. Not only did he strictly ordered everyone at the Edge to lay low and not follow Viggo and Ryker's ship after spotting it in the distance, but she knew he expected much better from her after she deliberately went behind his back to do exactly what he said not to.
She thought she could handle a simple stakeout to discover where they were going, but against her better judgement, she had fallen straight into the brothers' trap, almost losing her life and Stormfly's in the process.
Thankfully, though, Hiccup discovered she was missing not too long after she and Stormfly left and wasted no time in flying after her. If it wasn't for Toothless' quiet speed and Hiccup's determination to find her, she could have drowned into the depths of the ocean.
Astrid was in no shape to fly back home on Stormfly after the injuries she sustained from Ryker's gruesome interrogation so she had no choice but to hang onto Hiccup as he flew Toothless away from Viggo's blown-up ship with Stormfly following behind. Halfway to the Edge, Hiccup lowered Toothless onto a small island.
Astrid finally spoke. "Hiccup?"
The Chief's son slid off of Toothless' back and helped Astrid down before answering her in a quiet, clipped voice. "We're stopping here for the night. We're both exhausted, and I can tell you're about to pass out, and I absolutely don't need to fish you out of the water again.... so... we'll camp out in that cave over there," he pointed past Astrid's shoulder. She turned around to see what he was talking about and quietly nodded, not wanting to upset Hiccup any further.
She slowly trailed behind him with Stormfly as her walking aide as he marched forward with Toothles next to him. Astrid had almost stumbled a few times, but Stormfly was quick to keep her from flying forward.
When they were closing in on the cave, Hiccup sent Toothless in for some reconnaissance to make sure the cave was free of threats. When Astrid stabilized herself with a large boulder, she also sent Stormfly in to assist Toothless should he need it.
Without warning, Hiccup stormed towards her, planting himself a few feet in front of her. After a chilling, quiet moment, the Shield Maiden finally took courage and met her boyfriend's angry, fiery eyes.
"What were you thinking, Astrid?" His tone was short but measured as if he was trying to keep himself from shouting at her. She wished he would, though. She deserved shouting. When she didn't answer him, he continued. "For the life of me, I can't understand why you would deliberately disobey my orders and go after Viggo and Ryker. You're my second in command. You should have known better!"
"I know," was all she could say.
"Then why? Do you... Do you just think I throw orders around for the hel of it?"
Astrid slowly shook her head.
"Then why?"
Astrid inhaled a sharp breath and winced from the twinge in her ribs. "Because I didn't think I would get caught. I know, it was stupid and foolish, but I honestly thought I had a chance to see where they were going without compromising my position."
Hiccup gritted his teeth and clenched his fists to keep his anger in check. "Sneaking off isn't like you Astrid. You have never gone against my orders before so why now? Why are you so desperate for attention?"
Astrid balked. "D-Desperate for attention?!" She clutched the throbbing pain in her side as she moved away from the boulder. Almost falling over, she braced herself against another rock form. "You think I put myself through this for attention?! You're out of your mind!"
"No, you were out of your mind!" Hiccup couldn't take it anymore as his voice exploded in anger. "I could tell Viggo and Ryker were setting a trap for us to follow the moment I spotted their ship taunting our line of sight, which is specifically why I told everyone - including you - not to go after them! Where was your sense, Astrid? Did you get hit in the head a few too many times? Are you bored with the Edge? I just need some sort of explanation that makes sense to explain why you snuck away behind my back!"
"Well I don't have one!!!" Astrid fired immediately. "Sometimes I have to follow my gut and just go. Granted, this time was against my better judgement, but I won't apologize for my instincts to follow them."
"You're instincts?!" Hiccup was incredulous. "What instincts?! YOU ALMOST DIED!" The Chief's son slammed his palm against a large rock, and she jumped a little from the sudden impact.
"But I didn't!"
"Maybe not today but what about the next time you choose to disobey my orders? If you are so keen on following your instincts instead of following my lead, then maybe you should rethink your position on my team!"
"FINE! MAYBE I WILL!" Astrid shouted back. She held her breath and, with all her strength, marched into the cave, called for Stormfly and grimaced as she climbed onto her dragon's back. "I"m going back to Berk. You obviously don't need my help!"
"Oh no you don't!" Hiccup grabbed Astrid's arm before Stormfly could lift off and pulled her down from the mount. "You're too injured to fly no matter where you choose to go. I"m not going to allow you to get into another position where you might drown from your injuries!"
"LET. GO!" Astrid elbowed Hiccup in the ribs and tried to climb back onto Stormfly, completely oblivious to her bleeding wounds. Hiccup wrapped his arms around her, locking her against his chest, but she tried fighting him. Fishbone Hiccup was no longer Fishbone Hiccup, but despite his overwhelming strength against her own, she refused to be manhandled by her so-called boyfriend.
"Stop struggling, Astrid! You're reopening your wounds!"
Hiccup knew his girlfriend was a force to be reckoned with and at full strength, she would totally send him flat on his ass, but even though she was struggling to get free from his stronghold, he too was struggling to keep her from freeing herself.
"Let me go, Hiccup! Please, just let me go!"
"NO!" Hiccup was out of options. Without thinking, he grasped Astrid's cheek a little too roughly than he wished and kissed her hard on the mouth, pouring everything he was feeling into it. Yes, he was angry. Angry at himself for almost losing the woman he loved. Sad for Astrid, that she couldn't trust him when it mattered most. Thankful for finding Astrid in time before she sank to the bottom of the ocean floor. And grateful... Grateful for being able to spend this moment with Astrid, no matter how difficult she was being. The mere fact that she was alive was relief enough.
Astrid eventually gave up, and despite her injuries, she eventually melted into her boyfriend's arms as she found a strange feeling of solace in his kiss. She could feel all the feelings he was feeling as he kissed her and she kissed him just as fiercely, wanting him to know just how sorry she was for not doing as she was told.
When his lips eventually parted from hers, he did not release her from his embrace. "I'm sorry," he whispered into his ear. "We all make mistakes. Please don't go back to Berk. I... I need you here... on the Edge... I... I can't do this without you."
"I won't go," Astrid muttered just as Hiccup released his hold on her.
"Oh thank Thor."
----
WriterFreak001: I know this feels a little unresolved, but I felt like the focus should mainly be what led up to the kiss. Regardless, I hope you like this short story. :)
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rhysanoodle · 3 years
Text
Between Light and Shadow
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(Banner by the lovely @sncinder​​ 💕)
Elriel’s story after ACOSF
Word Count: 2612
AO3
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3
Chapter 4
What was Elain thinking, giving both herself and possibly Azriel this tiny kernel of hope? But she couldn’t help herself. As much as her heart ached every time she had to face him, one thing was inexorably clear to her. She was not over Azriel, and it was growing harder with each and every day to keep up her mask of cold indifference.
Oh, she would still make him sweat because she knew—she knew—that his rejection had felt final, and that there seemed no way to reverse his decision. But … was there room in her heart to bring him back in as a friend?
Everything in her mind was just so muddled and frazzled as she sorted through her feelings for him while trying to protect her vulnerable heart.
Though he still maintained that haggard appearance which Elain had noticed was his constant companion since he came back into her life, Elain couldn’t help but recognize a glimmer of something else in his eyes as he greeted her this afternoon.
And that proper human lady still lurking within her had been unable to completely freeze him out. He had certainly worked some witchcraft on her with that offer of friendship.
So she had greeted him back, timidly, and avoided his gaze at all costs, lest his swimming amber depths threaten to reel her too far in and drown her. But she could remain in the same room as him and yet still keep enough distance for now to keep herself safe.
Elain perched on her usual seat on the couch, allowing Azriel to take up his own habitual lookout and began. She breathed deeply, emptying her head of all essence of herself, leaving behind only her desired target. Koschei. His lake across the sea. The girls he kept hidden there. His secrets.
It was a long and drawn out process, but finally, she found a thread to tug on, and she opened her mind fully to it.
She saw a dark shape of a man, vaguely humanoid but blurry around the edges. And he was raging, still pissed at Briallyn for squandering their hold over the Crown and their chance at obtaining the other pieces of the Trove. If only the woman hadn’t been so greedy, so prone to gloating … They could have ended that Archeron girl and the threat she posed along with her.
If only … If only …
Elain did her best to look around at his surroundings, for any clues as to where he was or what he was doing, but her head began to swim, the edges of the scene in front of her darkening until she lost vision entirely.
And she opened her eyes to find Azriel beside her, a map beneath her outstretched hand.
***************
There was something eerie about watching Elain fall into a waking trance. He had never witnessed her work before, though he had been notified of how she had located the Suriel for Feyre during the war.
The glaze which overtook her eyes threatened to unmake him, as did the preternatural stillness which took hold of her. Though he knew she was not in any true danger, it was difficult for him to reconcile that.
But none of that mattered as Elain’s hand began moving, inching its way towards the map sprawled on the table.
Azriel rushed to grab it, and brought it to her, lest she fall and injure herself. Wherever the Cauldron was guiding her, they needed to make note of it.
Her hand jerked about, as if she were unable to fully focus, but one thing was very certain. Whatever she was seeing, it fell somewhere in the middle of Rask. He took out a pen, marking faint dots on the map at each point where her hand deemed to pause.
And then suddenly, her body jerked in its entirety, and he saw the film lift from her eyes.
“What did you see?” His voice was edged with demand. Time was of the essence here.
“Koschei is angry.”
Azriel snorted. “I could’ve guessed that much. We have the Trove. We have the power of the Cauldron on our side. Briallyn proved to be a useless pawn.”
“Yes, but he’s still livid about losing them. Even all these months later.”
“Perhaps that’s why his leash is tightening on Vassa. We took from him, and he intends to force us out in the open. Otherwise, he has nothing we want. I’d be content to let him rot in his lake for the rest of eternity. What else did you see? What of his surroundings?”
Elain cocked her head, eyes tight with concentration. “Not much. Everything around him was blurry. It’s not like last time when I got a good look at the lake. I couldn’t for sure even tell you if he was there or not.”
Her eyes suddenly dropped to the map he was holding practically in her lap, and her hand jerked back, as if the nearness of his own burned her. Not that it should come as any sort of surprise to him. He did not deserve her. Her lovely hands, calloused and marred in their own way by her work, still were far too beautiful to be seen next to anything as hideous as his own.
He would always be shrouded in this darkness, and her own reactions to him were just a reminder that it wouldn’t have worked between them anyways. She perhaps saw his handsome face and lusted after it, but she could never truly love what lay beneath the surface, in the darkest depths of his soul. He would do well to remember that.
“All the markings. You were reaching for the map, pointing them out. Do they mean anything to you?”
Elain shook her head, her curtain of hair cascading over her shoulder, and jasmine and honey hit him sharply in the face. Not yours, the shadows whispered to him, darkening his mood even farther.
“Then I’ll just have to investigate what they mean,” he offered, rising from his seat.
“But didn’t you just say that he wanted to lure us out?” If Azriel hadn’t known any better, he would say that Elain almost looked worried about him.
“Time is of the essence. We’ll just have to hope that he was unaware of your intrusion.” Because Mother help them if Koschei knew exactly what power they had on their side … If he decided to go after Elain as he had Nesta … No, he couldn’t think about that right now. “Besides, it’s my job to take these risks. Yours is to stay here and continue to glean as much as you can.”
She frowned but complained no more, likely recognizing the safety he was at least leaving her in, appreciating the distance that would be put between them for a few days, a reprieve from Rhys’s orders. “Be safe,” was all she offered him before he spirited out of the room and up to the training ring above the House of Wind.
Cassian looked up from his mate, positively curious as to why Azriel was returning so quickly after his departure halfway through their lessons earlier. He couldn’t blame him. Usually, Azriel was done training with the Valkyries at eleven and off on other business for the rest of the day.
“I have business elsewhere for the next few days,” Azriel informed him, launching into a brief description of what he wanted the latest newcomers working on, as Cassian’s eyes hardened with the clear question, What dangerous shit are you getting into now?
Not that Azriel could mention it in front of everyone here. Even though they had no reason to distrust the priestesses or Emerie, some things were better left kept firmly in the Inner Circle, at least until the full extent of the threats posed could be discovered.
“Talk to Rhys,” he offered in a low voice. “We’ll debrief later.”
Cassian nodded, and Azriel began to descend into the House to gather a pack of supplies when a soft hand pulled him aside.
“Leaving without saying goodbye?” Gwyn quipped, following him down the stairs.
“Cassian is going to have you run an extra lap for breaking formation.”
“Oh, please.” The priestess rolled her eyes. “Nesta’s gotten away with much worse.”
“And you think that’s not because they’re mates? He’s only gone soft all over in the ring for her. I wouldn’t expect the same treatment.”
“A male can be more nuanced than merely panting after the female he loves.” Gwyn picked at her nails and fixed him in her gaze.
“I’m not so sure,” Azriel muttered. “My brothers seem to have lost their edges since mating. Perhaps it’s a burden more than anything.” He shook his head. Not to mention that he had gone all soft around the edges whilst pursuing Elain for the past couple of years. It hadn’t shown in his work, but … he didn’t think anyone would deny that his demeanor around her had been different, though he did his best to hide it when they were under prying eyes.
“It doesn’t have to be.” And Azriel swore he could see a glimmer of amusement in her eye before she continued. “Well, I just didn’t want you disappearing without a proper sendoff.” Her words may have been nonchalant, but there was a stiffness in Gwyn’s shoulders. “See you in a few days, Shadowsinger.”
She turned and made her way back up the stone staircase.
Azriel’s wings bristled, as he quickly grabbed supplies, filling Rhys in in the meantime.
Good work, Rhys responded.
It was all her. I just helped her with the map.
We’ll make sure she has some support while you’re gone. Be safe, Az. 
Azriel could feel the unspoken words there. His role monitoring their sessions was easily filled if needed. He had only been given it because he was the spymaster and would need to question her for his own needs anyways that his leash around her had been loosened.
Rolling his shoulders, he stepped out onto a balcony and launched himself into the sky.
***************
Elain supposed she shouldn’t have been surprised that Lucien and Vassa arrived the next day to join her. For some reason, everyone in this house still thought she needed to be coddled, that if she slipped into a trance, she wouldn’t be perfectly capable of awakening and marching up to Rhys’s office in order to relay her information.
She sighed, supposing that she would just have to continue proving herself. It did grate her that neither of her sisters seemed to live by the same rules. Hell, Feyre had saved Prythian from Under the Mountain, and Nesta had survived the Blood Rite. But Elain had killed the king, yet that didn’t seem to count for much anymore. Not when Nesta had taken the knife and severed his head.
She put it out of her mind. She didn’t want to think about that dreaded day. It still appeared to her often enough in her nightmares that she forced it down in her waking hours in order to live some semblance of a happy life.
And it fooled them all. Nobody tried to butt into her personal life if she appeared like she had it handled. There was no longer the constant watchful eye which had hovered over her when she was sick with longing for Graysen, refusing to eat or leave her room.
No, as long as she carried on with everyday life, no one batted an eye at the sweet little gardener who hid such agony within, forced down so deep that it would never emerge in front of them.
Working with her hands helped though. It also afforded her the space to deal with her emotions if a wave ever swept over her outside of the privacy of her bedroom. She rarely had company, and even if she did, pruning and ripping weeds out by the roots worked wonders for stress relief.
She could just pretend they were the King of Hybern, the Mortal Queens, those guards who had captured her, the Cauldron itself, her cursed mating bond. Nothing was off limits.
Elain filled them in on what she had seen the previous day, though she could tell by Vassa’s frown that none of the information was new to the queen.
How could Elain finally do something useful yet still have it feel so useless?
“And all these points on the map … Azriel is looking into them?” Lucien asked, something tight in his voice.
Elain nodded. “He’s over on the continent now. Do any of these mean anything to you?” She pointed her question at Vassa.
Vassa shook her head. “Not more than what we already knew. Koschei’s lake is somewhere on the continent, but he obscured the location even from those of us who were trapped there. I was winnowed in by Koschei himself. Somehow, your father walked in … but we were winnowed out, and I wouldn’t be surprised if your father had found his memory of his journey there lacking.”
Right. Her father. The man who had neglected them for so much of their lives had suddenly turned around the course of the war by hunting down this queen of fire. But he’d given his life in the process.
Elain steeled herself, knowing that she’d done her best to come to terms with it. It still stung though, that he would miss so much of their lives just as they were beginning. To think that her father would never get to know Nyx or any of her future children. Neglectful though he had been, Elain had loved her father, and his loss was still a dull throb afflicting her heart, worming its way through her chest.
“I’m sorry.” Elain must have accidentally dropped her mask because she found Vassa’s hand atop her own, rubbing soothingly with her thumb. “It was insensitive of me to mention him.”
“No, no. It’s good to talk about him,” Elain reassured her. “It helps preserve his memory. I sometimes forget that he means so much to you as well.”
“Well, he did get me out of there.” Vassa offered her a grin. “Now, it only makes sense that you’re helping to keep me out. And I’m not sure what this one is doing here,” the queen quipped, tilting her head at Lucien.
“Females,” Lucien grumbled, but the mood in the room had lifted, Elain finding her heart buffeted just the slightest bit by this queen who had a gleam in her eye and who brought energy back to this suffocatingly stuffy room.
Vassa burst out laughing, her laughter contagious, and Lucien’s cheeks heated, as he made some vague excuses about meeting with Rhys.
“Pity you couldn’t be here more often,” Elain offered, still on the verge of giggles. “If I’d known this was all that was needed to keep these stuffy males at bay, I would have insisted on your presence ages ago.”
“That can be arranged,” Vassa replied with a smirk.
“Would you like rooms here?”
“Oh, no. I still need to stay down south, but I’ll try to needle Lucien to bring me more often.”
“Please do. I can’t stand being trapped in a room with them everyday.” She huffed.
“Even your handsome Illyrian?” One of Vassa’s eyebrows cocked.
“Especially him. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we aren’t on the best terms anymore. If he squirms, then so be it.” Elain didn’t offer her any more than that.
“Oh, you and I are going to have such fun together.” The grin on Vassa’s face couldn’t be described as anything other than devious.
***************
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lfzyxf · 3 years
Text
My turn
Summary: It’s your turn to save humanity as you land on a foreign planet with Natasha and Clint.
Natasha Romanoff x reader, Clint Barton x reader
Word count: 1.1K (angst)
Masterlist
The three of you were standing before the ship, eyes looking around you, taking in the view. Under different circumstances you’d be happy standing there, the purple planet is beautiful, you hadn’t seen anything like it before.
Clint turns around, firing a Pym particle which makes the ship shrink. He walks towards it before kneeling and picking it up. An arm rests on your shoulders as you watch him, Natasha holding you closer to her, a bad feeling in her stomach.
“Alright, let’s go” the man instructs, moving pas the two of you. Natasha squeezes your shoulder shortly before following Clint.
“Really starting to regret my choice here” Clint speaks up as you see an archway of some sorts in front of you. “Yeah. I’m gonna bet the raccoon didn’t have to climb a mountain” Nat sighs, eyebrows narrowing. “You know, technically he isn’t a raccoon…” you look at her as you speak, a small smile resting on your lips.
“Whatever,” she rolls her eyes “he eats garbage”.
A sound makes the three of you silent, weapons are pulled from their places on your suits as you look around. A knife rests in each of your hands, gold lines adorning the handle.
“I assure you; you have nothing to fear from me” a hooded figure speaks up, face hidden from your eyes. “Creepy” Clint says, making you nod. “Welcome Natasha, daughter of Ivan. Clint, son of Edith. Y/n child of y/p/n.”
“Creepier” you whisper to the two older figures next to you. “Who are you?” Natasha asks, eyes narrow as she glares at the figure, one of her arms stretched in front of you, ready to pull you behind her.
“Consider me a guide. To you, and to all who seek the Soul Stone.” He answers, your thoughts racing, wondering who else had been here before you, why had they all failed?
“Great. You show us where it is, and we’ll be on our way.” Nat lets her guard down a little, moving more in front of you. The mysterious figure speaks up, “Oh, liebchen. If only it were that easy...” He removes his hood as he speaks. Revealing himself, a familiar face stands in front of you all. Your voice is soft as you speak “Red skull.”
All of you stand near the edge of the mountain, the view in front of you enchanting. “What you seek lies in front of you. As does what you fear.” Red skull speaks, something he must have said before.
Natasha looks at him, “the stone is down there?” “For two of you. For the other...” he smiles. “The Stone demands a sacrifice. In order to take it, you must leave behind that which you love.”
He points one of his thin fingers to the depth below you, “a soul for a soul.”
You look at Clint and Natasha, the two of them staring down at the never-ending depth, the end for one of you.
You sit in front of Natasha, she herself sits on one of the many rocks around you. “Maybe he’s full of shit” Clint speaks up, he walks up to the two of you, closing the distance.
Natasha sighs “I don’t think so” “Why because he knew your daddy’s name?” “I didn’t.”
You take a deep breath before speaking up “Thanos left here with the stone, and without his daughter. You really think that’s a coincidence?”
Natasha looks down, “Whatever it takes…” she says under her breath, Clint and you look at each other before repeating her, “Whatever it takes…”
Nat stands up, walking to Clint “If we don’t get the stone, billions of people are going to stay dead” “Then I guess we both know who it has to be”.
You walk up to both of them, taking their hands in your own, “I’m starting to think we don’t mean the same person” you speak up.
“Natasha looks at you, before looking at Clint “For the last five years, I’ve been trying to do one thing get to right here. This is all it’s been about. Bringing everybody back.”
“Do not get all decent on me” Clint says, glaring at the woman in front of him. “You think I want to do it? I’m trying to save your life you idiot.” “And I don’t want you to,” “Nat. You know what I’ve done. What I am now. Your life’s worth ten of mine”
You don’t speak up; you don’t know what to say. The people you love the most are fighting over who is to die and who is to live. “I don’t judge people by their worst mistakes” Natasha says, he didn’t judge her past, why would she judge his.
“Maybe you should” “you didn’t.”
The two of them look down, sharing another moment. “You’re a pain in my ass you know that?” You look at Nat, watching as she relaxes, but just then clint sweeps out her legs, holding her down.
The two of them continue, a fight breaking out while you stand behind them. Eyes tearing up you make up your mind. You know what to do, it’s the only way.
Clint has a family; one you are considered a part of. You love all of them as if they were your one, and so do they. His children are waiting for him to save them, his wife is waiting for him.
And Natasha, she’s like a mother to you, always taking care of you from the moment you joined the Avengers.  She has never had a family of her own, not even knowing their names. Growing up being controlled and brainwashed, only to then be found by people she eventually called her family.
You cannot take that away from her. You can’t take it away from them. there is only one option, and you know it’s the right one.
So, you start walking, you start running. You run past the both of them, closer and closer to the edge. And as you stand there, ready to jump you turn around.
Two pairs of eyes are focused on yours, “y/n, don’t-” “I love you both, so much. Tell the rest I love them, I know you will save them, save the world.”
“No-” the simple word fades into a scream, quieter and quieter as you fall. Your eyes open, taking in the beautiful world in front of you.
As you near the ground you slowly close your eyes, one last breath before your eyes close one last time.
Clint and Natasha lay in some strange water, their eyes open slowly, looking around. In one hand, lays the stone. They did it, she did it.
@dpaccione
@capsnacklepop
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chaoticpuff17 · 3 years
Text
When the Chips are Down
part 10
masterlist
Warnings: arguing, smut, pregnant smut, lactation kink (if you squint) 
hello my darlings, so I did a thing, a thing I did not know that I was going to be doing, but enjoy!--- chaotic puff 
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She’d had some time with the other ladies after her appointment was over before Miss In ushered everyone out claiming that Y/N needed rest. Rest was well and good, but she would have preferred having company. She detested bed rest, but it was made better by the presence of a certain orange bundle of hate that had driven her regular fluffy white companion away. 
Hoseok had come to get Iyla, and he’d brought with him Chester. He shoved the cat into her arms muttering something about taking her demon cat back, but she couldn’t bring herself to care as she held the grumbly little cat. She couldn’t blame Hoseok for wanting him gone. Chester liked very few people. He liked her best and then Iyla. Jackson had been tolerated, but Chester was her little grump, a little grump who had set up shop half sprawled across her belly and refused to move, meowing unhappily anytime someone got to close. This was how Namjoon found her later that night. 
She was content as she could be given the situation, curled up a bundle of yarn and a crochet hook when Namjoon walked in.
“I’m sorry I was away so long.” he sent her a tired smile, crossing the room to kiss her forehead only to jump back as her little orange protector hissed at him. “What is that doing back here?” he asked, taking another step back to put a little more distance between himself and Chester. The cat might not have been in the estate for long, but everyone knew that he was a bad tempered little demon. 
“Hoseok brought him over when he came to get Iyla.” she hummed, gently scratching under Chester’s chin earning herself a contented purr from the cat. 
Namjoon sighed tiredly, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Can’t Hoseok take it back?” 
“No.” she huffed, sending him a dark look. 
“You have Moni.” 
“I also have Chester.” 
“Chester is a living horror.” Namjoon huffed, staring at the cat with distaste. “I  can get you a new cat, a better cat.” 
“I like Chester. Picked him up from the streets. He was a skinny little thing then.” she mused fondly, pausing the repetitive motion of her fingers so she could give the cat a little scratch around the ears. 
“No. No street cats. He could have diseases.” 
She scoffed, picking up the crochet hook again. “I’ve had Chester for years. He doesn’t have any diseases.” 
“I’ll get you a puppy.” he offered, practically begging her to send the nightmare of a cat back to Hoseok. 
“I already have a dog.” 
“A dog who is terrified of that thing.” Carefully, Namjoon approached the bed again, wary of the cat. “It’s a street cat. I can find you something better, something nicer.” 
Her hands stilled, her shoulders suddenly pulled back in a rigid posture that matched the incredulous look in her eye and the flash of ire in their depths. “So that means I’m free to go.” 
“What? Of course not...”
“I lived on the streets, so did Iyla. Who knows what kind of diseases we could be carrying? You can find something better.” 
He was silent, letting her words sink in, very quickly realizing the error of his words. “That’s not… I’m sorry, jagi. That’s not what I meant.”  She huffed, refusing to answer him as she kept her jaw set in irritation, picking up her project again, aggressively working through the next couple of stitches. “Jagi…”  He took a step closer, sitting down on the edge of the bed reaching for her only to draw his hand back as the cat took a swipe at him with an angry yowl. 
“Careful. He’ll get you.” she scoffed. “And you never know what sort of diseases we could be carrying.” 
“Jagi, I never meant…” 
“Then what did you mean?” she looked up, quirking a brow. “I think you were quite clear on your feelings about it.” 
“I would never… I didn’t mean.” he sighed trying to collect himself. “I could never find anyone better than you.” 
“Go to the bad part of town and you’ll find a dozen girls just like me, just like I was all those years ago.” 
“But they’re not you.” he urged sitting on the bed despite Chester taking another swipe at him. Joon had other ideas though. Quickly and carefully as he could, he removed the cat from her belly, earning himself some scratches in the process as the cat tried to take a bite out of him. 
“What are you doing?” she cried setting down her project again. 
“I’d like to talk to my wife without your little orange demon keeping me at arm’s length.” he huffed practically tossing the cat off the bed. As soon as the cat was out of the way, he took her hands in his, urging her to look at him. “I never meant to insult you or your past. I know how hard it was for you, for Iyla. If I could have taken you away from that, I would have. Marcus never would have laid a hand on you.” he reached up a hand to cup her cheek even though she turned away from  his touch. 
“You can’t change the past, and who even says I would have wanted you?” 
“I love you, jagi.” he promised, turning her face back to his. “If you would just let me…” 
“You’d what?” she asked, voice harsh and brows scrunched together. “You’d give up your business? You’d let Iyla leave? You’d let me have my freedom? What would you do?” 
“I would give you the world.” 
She huffed, rolling her eyes. “I don’t want the world. I never did. I just wanted my family to be safe.” 
“I can keep you safe. I will protect you and our family.” he urged. “Nothing will ever hurt you while I’m here.” 
“Except for you?” 
He tensed but forced himself to relax. “I don’t want to hurt you, jagi. I want you safe and happy, you and the baby.” 
“We were happy in Italy.” 
“Happy with me.” he amended, slightly annoyed by her mention of Italy. He was still silently fuming about having to release Mark, and he didn’t want any reminders of her time away from him,  not when they were so close to having their perfect little family. “I could make you so happy, jagi.” 
She rolled her eyes again, turning her attention back to the project at hand, taking her other hand away from Namjoon so she could get back to work.
“What are you working on?” 
“If all goes well? It should be a teddy bear.” 
“For the baby?” she hummed her assent. “How did the appointment go?” he asked, settling himself on the bed beside her. 
“Baby’s fine. I’m fine.” 
He wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her into his side as she continued with her stitches. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there. I have to get things in order for the birth, so I can be here with you and the baby. Did you get a picture?” he asked hopefully. 
“It’s over on the table.” she nodded. “Healthy baby. The doctor said that she should be here in about five weeks.” 
“Five?” He asked, turning his attention away from the ultrasound photo. “I thought you were due in six.” His eyes darted between her face and the belly, before he froze his eyes, wide as saucers, slowly settling on her face. “She?” he asked, voice barely above an awed whisper. “It’s a girl?” 
A bright smile spread across her features as she nodded. She couldn’t be mad when she was talking about her baby, her little girl, and she couldn’t deny his awe was endearing. 
“A girl.” he whispered, eyes drifting down to her belly in awe, hands settling on it as he bent down so that he was eye level with her bump. “Hi, princess. Your mom and I are so excited to meet you, but you need to stay safe in there for a few more weeks okay? You have to stop giving your mom and I such scares. You’re giving me gray hair.” he murmured, pressing a kiss to her belly. “You can do that for me. Okay, princess?” 
Y/N suppressed a laugh, and Namjoon looked up at her with a big grin. He was different now than when she left. He was less soft, more chiseled. His features had become sharper, and she could definitely see the muscles straining under his suit jacket. She had to admit, he looked good, a little tired, but good. Their time apart had changed both of them apparently. 
 “We’re having a girl.” 
“We are.” she nodded with a grin of her own, only to be caught off guard as Namjoon darted up and caught her in a deep kiss,  entangling his hands in her short hair. 
“We’re having a girl.” he murmured again once he pulled away before diving in for another kiss. “I love you, jagi.” he went in for another kiss, only to be shocked by the moan that Y/N released. He pulled away slightly looking down at her, the cogs in his head turning. 
Slowly, he slid a hand down to rest against her breast giving it a tentative squeeze and was rewarded by a gasp from his wife. “So sensitive.” he praised, feeling the weight of her breast in his hands. They were definitely bigger now.
“Namjoon…” she warbled, bringing a shaky hand up to his shoulder in a weak attempt to push him away. She would have been lying if she said she wasn’t horny. All the hormones rushing through her body had left her a little more than frustrated for a lot of her pregnancy, but Mark had taken care of some of that. Mark wasn’t here now though. Namjoon was. 
“Shh, jagi.” he purred, trailing kisses down her neck, nipping at her pulse. “Let me make you feel good.” 
“Namjoon… the baby!” she gasped, fingers clutching the material of his suit as he bit down on her collarbone
“The baby’s fine. The doctor tells me things too.” he pulled away to look up at her with a mischievous grin. “You’re leaking, jagi.” he chuckled, rolling her nipple through the thin material of her nightgown. 
“Namjoon!” she scolded, pushing against his shoulder again. 
“It’s good.” he grinned. “You’re getting ready for our baby.”  
“It’s embarrassing.” she hissed. 
“It’s natural.” he pulled down her nightgown to expose her breasts. 
“They’re sore.” she warned, trying to steer him away from her chest. 
“I can help with that.” he grinned, leaning down to take one of her nipples into his mouth, rolling the bud around with his tongue. 
“Namjoon!” she cried, her hands flying up to his hair. 
“You taste divine, jagi.”  he purred looking up from her breast. 
“Stop.” she gasped as he leaned down to pay attention to her other breast. “We should stop.” 
He paused, looking up at her with that same mischievous look on his face. “Why?” he asked. “You’re my wife, and I want to make love to my beautiful,” a kiss was placed on her neck. “Pregnant,”  Another kiss. “Wife.” by this point he had worked his way up to her face again, placing the final kiss on her lips. “Will you let me do that?” he whispered, forehead pressed against hers. 
“Okay.” she whispered.
She could regret it in the morning, blame it on the hormones or the rush of endorphins or just the general horniness she’d been feeling for months, but for now she was going to let a very attractive man make love to her and pretend like this was normal. She was going to pretend that she was happy and in love and celebrating her baby girl with the love of her life even if she wasn’t. She could regret it in the morning. 
Namjoon didn’t hesitate once he had her permission, getting to work relieving them both of their clothes, cursing himself for the three piece suit he’d chosen that morning. It had too many layers, too many buttons. This was the first time in months he was going to be able to touch her, to make love to her, and he was the idiot wearing a three piece suit. 
He’d noticed during their bath the changes to her body, but it was fascinating to see them up close, to be able to worship them as he should have been able to do from the beginning. There were stretch marks on her hips, extending up her belly, and he made sure to press a kiss to each one. Her hips were fuller, and her belly, god her belly, it was glorious, round and soft and all because of him. That was his child, his daughter, in there, the perfect little angel that he and Y/N had made. He still couldn’t believe it. A daughter, he was going to have a daughter. He could practically see her now. She’d have her mother’s eyes and his dimples, and she’d be quick as a wip. She was going to be beautiful, just like her mother. 
“I love you.” He murmured against her belly as he practically ripped her underwear from her. 
It had been a long eight months without her. Yes, there had been other women, but they couldn’t compare to her. No one could ever compare to her.
“Namjoon.” she mewled a tone of neediness in her voice that he had never heard before, and he swore under his breath catching sight of what waited for him between her legs. 
“You’re dripping for me, jagi.” he growled, rubbing two fingers over her slit. “Soaked just for me.” she whimpered, her hips bucking up a little in search of something more than the light touches he was giving her, and Namjoon was more than happy to give that to her. 
She was wet enough that he had no problem plunging two fingers directly into her heat eliciting the most enticing moan from her. He wanted nothing more than to bury himself in her right there and then, but he knew she needed to be prepped before he could do that. He didn’t want to hurt her, not again. The last time they’d been together had been traumatizing for her, and he didn’t want anything to hurt her during their first time together again. 
His thumb rubbed circles around her clit as he continued to pump his fingers in and out of her watching closely as she came closer and closer to coming undone. Just before she was about to fall over the edge, he pulled away, and Y/N cried out in protest.
“I want you to come around my cock, jagi.” He growled, flipping her over gently, helping her onto her hands and knees so that there would be no strain on her belly.  “Can you do that for me?” 
“Please, Namjoon.” she begged, resting on her forearms forehead pressed down onto the pillow as she stuck her ass out. 
“Anything for you.” he promised, pressing a kiss to the small of her back before lining himself up with her entrance. 
They both groaned as he sunk into her. “Shit, jagi. You’re still so tight.” he groaned, forcing himself to keep still as she adjusted to his size. “So tight for me.” 
He was careful as he began to move. He went slow, each thrust deliberate, enjoying the feel of her around him, enjoying the sounds she made. Slowly he began to pick up speed, one hand kept still on her hip while the other reached between them to play with her clit building her back up to the orgasm that he’d denied her before. He was reaching his own high embarrassingly quickly, but it had been so long since he’d had the privilege of being with her like this. 
He could feel her shaking, her walls spasming around him as she trembled on the edge of her high. “Cum for me.” He growled, his thrusts picking up speed. “Cum with me, jagi.” 
It wasn’t long before they were both crying out in pleasure as their orgasms ripped through them. Namjoon kept thrusting lazily into her, dragging out her pleasure as she shook like a leaf beneath him. 
Once they had both caught their breath, Namjoon eased out of her, carefully helping her back onto her side, wedging a pillow under her belly to help ease the weight of it. 
“I’ll be right back, jagi.” he promised as she whined reaching back towards him. “I need to get you cleaned up.” 
He was quick, washing himself up as swiftly as possible, and returning to her with fresh pajamas for both of them, and a wet washcloth to clean up the mess he’d left between her legs. 
“Joon.” she whined, flinching as he cleaned her up, and he whispered apologies knowing she had to be sensitive. 
Once they were both cleaned up and dressed, Namjoon settled them both down under the covers, pressing her back to his chest so that he could wrap his arms around her, so that he could keep both her and their daughter close. 
“I love you so much, jagi.” he whispered into her neck as she hummed sleepily. “So, so much.” 
part 11
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Text
The Only Living Thing
Billy Russo x Female Reader
Warnings: Language.
Synopsis: You’ve been friends with BIlly Russo for as long as you can remember. Then, on that one night in New York, feelings get mixed up with the liquor that burns and everything spins out of control. So much for being the only living thing that Billy Russo has ever cared about... Or is it?  A/N: This just sort of happened. I may be writing more if you guys want, I think I can definitely take this further? I have a pretty hectic schedule but I might make it happen x
Song : Adam French - The Only Living Thing
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New York, November 2019. 
 
Breathtaking. 

You are breathtaking, like the most beautiful view from atop the mountain or his biggest fear coming alive under his stare. 
 You’re a mix of excitement and terror, and you are enchanting enough to keep him on the tips of his toes, second-guessing everything, his every decision and every word... 
You are meant to leave him wanting more.
The night New York has never looked so good on a woman before.
Billy’s vision goes blurry for a second, his stomach hot and heavy.
You are glowing.
You radiate a kind of a warm sepia glow, so beautiful and genuine and so fucking effortlessy...
Smooth and unapologetic.
 

Messy strands of hair framing your face, your blushing cheeks, as you laugh your heart out, throwing your head back. Your pearl teeth flash in the dimness of the bar. Your thin black tights are torn at the thighs, your lips are red and irritated as you sink your teeth in, again and again.
Your laugh is flamboyant, intoxicating. Raw.
You are something else...
When suddenly, you see him, your black eyelashes fluttering as you wink at him. Billy’s chest feels too wide, too fragile and too hot. Do you see those unspoken words shining out of his drunken eyes?
When you make your way to him through the crowd, he’s paralyzed, afraid to move forward, afraid to scare you off, but mostly, afraid to let everyone see how desperate he is for your touch.
This is wrong, so fucking wrong, but why in hell when you come over, throwing your elegant arms around his neck, your cute perky nose touching his chest - it feels so. fucking. right?! Like you were custom-made for each other?...
Before he can stop himself, he slides an arm around your waist. You say something to him, something funny, for everyone around him snorts and chuckles, but his mind, his entire world - suddenly comes down to that spot just below his cheekbone where you plant a soft peck of your velvet pouty lips.
“Those twenty bucks we bet on? I win,” you half laugh, half exhale in his ear, your lips brushing against the lobe. “Madani is fucking obsessed with you”.
“Ah,” Billy smiles, both of his hands snaking around your waist now as he looks down at you.
...And I am fucking obsessed with us.
“And you just enjoy rubbing us - this! in her face right now, aren’t you?” he mutters instead, his temples buzzing with the gin and tonic he has been downing all night. 
God, he hopes you’re too buzzed to have noticed his slip of fucking epic proportions.
He promised himself he wouldn’t drink, not with you still around - because whatever it was that he felt for you mixed with liquid that burned equaled a very bad outcome. 
He might be well into the tipsy territory by now but Billy isn’t delusional. The chances that you would go back to his place or even kiss him back are entirely too slim.
Because friends don’t do friends.
Friends might as well become a new f-word for all Billy cares at this point.
When you throw your head back in an explosive laugh, Billy’s distracted. He gets an extensive view of your elegant neck, your delicate collarbones, but mostly - of the swell of your mouthwatering breasts, as your black silk top tightens over them. 
Fuuuuck him.
“Fuck you, Russo”, you echo his thoughts somehow as you wink at him once you’ve restored your breath, not stepping away from his embrace, however, letting him keep his hands on you. 
It’s always like this between the two of you. You’ve known each other for a while now - four, five years? After Billy bumped into you at a brunch at Liebermans’ and spilled his frappuccino all over your gorgeous rack. He wasn’t even going to come - but boy, was he glad he did - even though you wasted no time opening that sassy mouth of yours and verbally eviscerating him.
This wasn’t a love at first sight. 
 For you, at least.
“At least buy me a dinner first,” Billy barely manages, his vision a tad blurry.
He notices you giving him an unimpressed stare. Feeling stupid all at once, Billy blinks quickly and lets go of your waist...
Only to tremble on his feet and almost fall on his face.
“Heyyy,” he registers your breath on his cheek before he hears what you’re saying, your small hands holding him in place. Your touch burns through the fabric of his button down shirt as your palms slide up his sides to his shoulders. “You okay there, Russo?”
Billy squirms, chomping on his bottom lip as he grabs you by your elbows.
‘’M fine”, he says quietly, but doesn’t let go. When he lowers his stare to meet your eyes, he almost wants to cry. There’s concern in their bottomless depths, worry for him and desire to make it all better. He just wishes there was more heat there, and less of that f-word that ends with -riends.
“You don’t look fine, lover,” you retort, wiggling and pushing and pulling onto him until you’re snug under his arms and carrying his dead weight to the exit. “Let’s go get some fresh air, come on.”
Billy utters something half-heartedly, his head feeling like it’s filled with cotton. He didn’t even drink that much, as least he doesn’t think so. Must be your fucking intoxicating perfume, sweet but voluptuous and so fucking tempting...
Pure sin. 

Even drunk out of his fucking mind, he’s still the envy of every guy at that bar because he’s with a stunning, breathtaking, prettiest woman in the whole damn world that is you.
“If you were able to stand right now, that line might have gotten you laid,” you inform him with a laugh, basically carrying him to the exit on your shoulders.
Through the drunken haze, Billy realises he might have spoken those words out loud, but the terror is quickly replaced by...
“Are you shitting me?” He slurs, trying to stay vertical. “Are you saying you want me?”
By the time the words escape his mouth, you have pushed the exit door wide open and nudged him to step out. Losing his balance, Billy crashes into Frank, Stein and Madani, smoking outside.
 Dina’s eyes flash mischievously as you step out of the bar, immediately throwing your arms around Billy protectively, helping him to steady himself.
“Oh, so it’s common knowledge now, then?” Dina ventures, licking her lips bloodthirstily, her eyes never quitting yours. “You’ve finally admitted you want to drag that fine Caspian ass in your bed?”
The running joke aimed at Billy looking like a Disney prince feels out of place; all conversation is silenced out as you narrow your eyes at Madani, your grip around Billy’s waist instantly becoming tighter. Frank clears his throat in an attempt to defuse the awkwardness, but doesn’t intervene.
And Billy is... well, happy. Over the moon, actually, and still drunk off his ass.
Apparently, you have been wanting to drag his ass into your bed for a while now!
That does mean you see him more than a friend, right? 
What if... What if all this time you were just as hung up on him as he was on you, but neither of you had the balls to say anything?
In his picture perfect drunken world, Madani makes sense and his heart sings.
You want him.
If it were a Disney cartoon, animals would be singing and dancing around praising your couple. 
Frankie would have probably made a sick unicorn.
“Oh Dina”, suddenly your voice cuts right through Billy’s happy fantasy, and there’s way too much sass in that voice for it to belong to a Disney princess. “Just because your friend Sam here and your own desperate fan-girling ass carry a boner for some fucked up teenage fantasy that involves boinking Prince Caspian, doesn’t mean all women have that same one-track mind. Some of us can actually look past a dick and see a friend. So why don’t you lay off that Cosmopolitan and fuck off, vodka-cranberry sure ain’t making you brighter”.
Billy frowns, deep lines creasing his forehead.
Frank snorts with laughter, not even bothering to conceal his reaction. 
 
 You hold Dina’s hateful stare.
“Whatever, bitch” the latter one finally utters, throwing her cigarette away. “I never fucking liked you. Maybe after this your little fanboy here will see you for what you really are - a fucking coward and a tosser”, Billy’s stares at her in disbelief, his mind still foggy. Madani’s dark eyes flash dangerously in his direction. “Of all women, Russo... Karma is a bitch, isn’t she? Your little princess here only loves herself, lover. Get out while you fucking can”.
Smashing her shoulder into yours, Madani goes back into the bar, leaving equally dreary and awkward silence behind.
“What the fuck was that all about?” Frank isn’t laughing anymore as he folds his hands on his chest, giving you a questioning eye. 
You roll your eyes dismissively. 
“Well, she’s obviously shit-faced,” you shrug, sliding your hands off of Billy. “What, you’re surprised she hates me?”
It’s a whole another world there, in Billy’s head. Have you just distanced yourself from him after what Madani said? What, you thought he’s so drunk he wouldn’t fucking notice?
“...so just because I have basic restraint and actually appreciate a man as a friend, I’m a damaged bitch with a twisted sense of humour? Look, I don’t know, Frank”, you rub your eyes tiredly with the back of your hand.
“I do,” Billy suddenly chimes in hoarsely, his eyes bloodshot and dark, darker than usual, as they narrow at you. “Know. I know.” Billy stutters, then takes a deep breath. “That’s all I am to you then, sweetheart? A friend?”
Billy wavers a bit as he speaks, but his words are deadly. Your eyes pop wide open at his words, like Russo has just grown a penis on his forehead. Frank’s mouth forms a silent O.
And just like that, the tension is back.
“Well, of course you are my friend,” you say slowly, stretching out your hand in an attempt to grasp Billy’s wrist. Your eyes are searching his face, but he’s locked, like a goddamn prison cell. “You’re my friend and I love you”.
Wrong answer, if Billy’s expression is anything to judge by as he recoils  from your touch. His face is a mix of disappointment and anger, his lips a thin line as he turns away.
“Fucking idiot,” he mutters under his breath as he turns on his heels and makes a tentative step towards the bar. Only his body is ruled by gin and whatever shit he chased it with, so his feet get mixed up together. Billy trips over his own shoes. 
“Hey, easy there, tiger”, Frank, who’s been standing closer, grips Billy by his arm to help him keep his balance. “What’s gotten into you, man?”
Billy chuckles, throwing his head back, and that has got to be the most bitter sound you have ever heard. You shudder involuntary, watching Russo like a hawk.
“I would have given you the fucking world, you know that?” Billy stares you dead in the eye, grabbing the door handle in front of him. “You just keep fucking with my head like a fucking sadist, and I live by the shit you give me!” you blanch as Billy goes on with the program, hurt dripping from his mouth. “Must have always thought that should be some spectacular pussy you’ve been packing, totally worth all your shit”.
“Bill!” Frank calls him out sharply, his expression terrified. 
But the damage is done. 

Your eyes are brimming with tears, but you stay silent, unblinking. Your chest seems a little caved-in, but you hold your chin high as your trembling lips start to move.
“Fuck you, Russo”, you spit, “Fuck you, friend”.
The next thing he knows, Billy explodes in a fit of bitter laughter - even though all he wants to do is fucking cry.
This just goes to fucking show there’s no such thing as Disney fairytale in real life, is there?
“Oh don’t worry, friend, somebody will,” he promises you, swinging the door to the bar wide open. “Gonna go help Madani fulfil her teenage fantasy. While you can stay here, think about us fucking like rabbits and feel better about yourself”.
With those words thrown over his shoulder, he steps into the crowded bar, the sound of the door shutting behind him sounding final. 
Plot twist. Curtain falls.
Frank can’t even venture a look at you - he doesn’t even hear you breathing.
“He’s just piss off drunk, that’s it. He doesn’t mean it,” Castle attempts to do some damage control, even though he knows that that ship has most definitely sailed.
“Thanks, Frank,” he hears you say quietly, and as he raises his eyes, he catches the sight of you wiping your cheeks quickly.
You inhale slowly, closing your eyes and fisting your hands.
“Tell Karen and the guys I wasn’t feeling so hot, okay?” you ask, and there’s definitely pleading in your voice.
You never plead.
Before Frank can ever mutter anything about Karen having his head if he lets you walk away at night all alone, you wave at him dismissively. 
“I’ll see you”, you say as you collect your hair in a ponytail and walk off, your silhouette soon lost in the bustling New York night.
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siswritesyanderes · 3 years
Note
If it had been Jasper-Sadie or Alice-Sadie as the vampires and finding their third later, how if at all would any of the “prior” story (the Twilght saga proper) have changed?
This turns the timeline inside out, but Meyer was never great at those anyway.
(Hi, if you're from the Twilight fandom stumbling across this post without context, Sadie is my OC in a yandere Alice/yandere Jasper/OC fic that you can read here.)
Ohhh, so much potential there! I can't answer that in full, because doing so would spoil what Sadie's potential vampire ability is. (Super sorry about that. Feel free to ask again after that information has come up in Rule One!)
I can say that both Bella and Edward would take to confiding in her and seeking her counsel with regards to their relationship. Especially if it's a Sadie-Alice duo; Edward would be super close with both Sadie and Alice (like he's close with Alice in canon), and while he sometimes gets frustrated with Alice, he pretty much always respects Sadie. It's like, Alice would be Bella's best friend and Edward's partner in crime (since she's still the one who would agree to kidnap Bella, whereas Sadie would never), and Sadie would be Bella's confidante and Edward's moral compass. Both Bella and Edward would go to Sadie for advice about each other, and Sadie, though startled by their neediness, would always have something valuable to say.
(Picture Bella or Edward bursting into Sadie's room with a question, and Sadie, wide-eyed, putting down whatever she's doing and saying, "Alrighty then, have a seat.)
Edward trusts that Sadie wouldn't lie to him, so the urgency in having Bella run to him in Italy before he sparkles in front of people (lest he read Alice's thoughts and assume she's lying to him) wouldn't be a thing; Sadie just runs Bella to Edward with vampire speed and is subjected to that whole reunion as an awkward third wheel while Alice parks the stolen car.
Also, Sadie would tip every fight slightly more in favor of the Cullens, but she would also have a habit of really wanting to talk to the enemies instead of attacking them. This is good/useful with the Volturi but not so good/useful with Victoria and Riley.
Oh! Also, Sadie would realize that Victoria will probably follow Edward's scent, in Eclipse, and Sadie would accompany him and Bella in sitting the battle out, so that they have more backup against Victoria. Jasper and Alice wouldn't be privy to the fact that Victoria is coming; this is just a realization that Sadie has that Edward hears in her mind. (As far as Jasper and Alice are concerned, Sadie is sitting the battle out just to be safe, and they're happy that she won't be in harm's way.) This is where Sadie's need to talk to enemies would become a problem, because both Victoria and Riley are too far gone to listen to reason, but Sadie really believes in them and wants to convince them they don't have to die today. It still turns out fine, though. Sadie gets a little hurt, but she's fine. Alice and Jasper would be absolutely smothering, after. Victoria is lucky she's already dead, because they would make her suffer.
And Sadie would think to explain things to Irina before Alice realizes that Irina is going to the Volturi, so that whole misunderstanding never happens.
All of that being said, the thought of "Yandere Alice meets Sadie first" and "Yandere Jasper meets Sadie first" got really interesting to me. So I have to talk about those scenarios immediately.
I'm going to place Sadie sometime in the twentieth century in both cases, and I'm going to try to let the time period matter as little as possible, but feel free to imagine them in 50s or 60s attire, lol. (Or 70s or 80s; again, it doesn't matter that much; I'm just placing her in the twentieth century to keep the rough order of events the same, kind of.) I'm approaching this with the assumption that Alice and Jasper still become vampires in the same way/at the same time as they do in canon; they just meet at different times. I'm not dealing with the Confederate thing here, though, because I'll be dealing with it in Rule One.
I'm gonna go ahead and put it all under the cut. (And if your experience of Rule One is more invested in the potential for wholesome romance than the yandere aspect, maybe the rest of this isn't for you, because this is definitely more yandere-leaning, lol.)
Alice-Sadie
Alice knows three things: 1. Her own name. 2. That she is going to join the Cullens. 3. That Sadie, whom she has not yet met, is her soulmate.
Though she slips up every now and then, Alice does her best not to eat humans. She wants to fit in with the Cullens by the time she finds them, so she's accustoming herself to the animal diet. Anyway, she has a mate out there whom she will meet as a human, and she has to get herself under control before she can risk being around her.
The thing is, Alice knows about Sadie before Sadie is actually an option, so she has to kill time so that she doesn't meet Sadie too early. And Alice hates waiting, so she goes ahead and introduces herself to the Cullens before Sadie. She tells them all about how she'll have a soulmate soon, and how it's killing her to keep her distance but she knows things will be way better if she never meets Sadie as a child. She decorates her room with things that Sadie likes, anticipating that one day she'll be sharing the room with Sadie. Honestly, if it weren't for Edward's mind reading, the rest of the Cullens might think Sadie was an imaginary friend or something.
(Rosalie would normally take issue with Alice's plans to intrude on the life of a human she's never met just because of a potential future where they're in love, but she doesn't really take Alice's fantasizing seriously until it's too late.)
One day, Alice just sort of disappears from the Cullen house, and only Edward knows where she's gone.
Sadie is finally at the right age; it's time.
Alice appears in Sadie's life, and everything she says and does is perfect. She rockets from stranger to friend to best friend at an impressive rate, her precognition easily compensating for Sadie's hesitancy (and Sadie would start off more wary than she is in Rule One, due to the time period). Having left the rest of the Cullens, for the time being, there is nothing (read: no one) holding Alice back from being absolutely surgical about making herself important in Sadie's life and subtly isolating her. She gives expensive gifts, and comprehensive compliments, and she always knows what to say to make Sadie like and trust her more.
When Sadie starts to become suspicious about the evolution of their friendship, Alice drops the vampire bomb and the soulmate bomb all at once, showing Sadie her speed and strength and sparkles. There was no better way to do it. Alice checked; this was the absolute best set of circumstances for the reveal.
Sadie asks for time to process the information. She asks for space. Alice graciously allows it; she's practically living with Sadie at this point, anyway. (Not that Sadie knows it. But yeah, she's in Sadie's house pretty much 24/7 (minus her hunting trips), dodging notice with stealth and psychic powers.)
When Sadie is ready to talk again, Alice pours out every reassurance: how she will never stop loving her; how she would never hurt her; how she thinks about her all the time and loves her so much. Sadie isn't fully won over by the whole vampire lover concept, but Alice does convince her to come meet her family.
They go to the Cullen house. Alice shows her off to everyone, and Rosalie is stunned, and Emmett laughs incredulously. Edward and Carlisle make polite introductions, and Esme hugs her, just glad to see Alice so happy. (Esme has been so worried about her newest daughter, so flighty and constantly pining for someone who wasn't there. And then she disappeared, and anything could have happened to her! But now she's back, and she's brought someone lovely, and she looks happier than Esme has ever seen her.) Carlisle and Edward give Sadie a more in-depth explanation of how vampires operate and why the bond between mates is a big deal. Esme cooks her a huge meal. Before they know it, nighttime has come, and Sadie falls asleep in Alice's room.
She wasn't drugged or anything; Alice just perfectly orchestrated a set of circumstances in which she would be tired by this exact time.
When she wakes up, Alice is an utter angel, offering her breakfast and a bath and telling her that there's more to see, around the house. She hasn't seen Rosalie's garage, yet! She hasn't seen Esme's garden. And soon enough she's sleeping over again.
On that third day at the house, Rosalie pulls Sadie aside to say that she'll drive Sadie home, if Sadie needs her to. But Alice has done her job well; Sadie likes Alice, and she likes the Cullens, and most of all, she's so curious about vampires and the world thereof. She's willing to stay and learn, provided she can visit her friends and family, and provided Alice doesn't try to change her. She fills several journals with what she learns about vampires, all in the span of a single year. She learns so much, and she's never satisfied that she's learned enough.
When Alice asks her to let Carlisle change her, she chooses exactly the right conversation, exactly the right approach, and exactly the right time. Sadie agrees and becomes a vampire. (She kind of has to, for this prompt, lol.) Rosalie is annoyed, but she knows that Sadie thought the matter over thoroughly.
When the day comes that Alice sees Jasper in their future, she drags Sadie off to meet him, barely explaining herself beyond "We have another mate!". Sadie goes along with it because she's used to Alice's antics.
They meet this crimson-eyed, roguishly handsome vampire, and Jasper is pretty instantly enthralled with them both. He's curious about their golden eyes, charmed by Alice's forwardness, and amused by Sadie's mix of intrigue and wariness. The emotional flavor of Alice's joy and cheerfulness, and of Sadie's curiosity and uncertainty, are enough to pretty much have him wrapped around their fingers right away.
Sadie's reaction is more "Ohhhh, Alice, this guy eats people..."
Alice just goes, "It's okay. Jasper will be willing to change his diet if we ask him to. Won't you, Jasper?"
And it's so presumptuous, but also he's into it, because Sadie has already made it clear that eating humans is a deal-breaker for her, and he doesn't want this meeting to end.
He joins the family, and it feels like the best thing ever; he has two amazing soulmates, and he belongs to a large coven that will always be safe from strangers. The animal-eating thing is a downside, but there's no help for that.
The dynamic for the next little while is that Alice is already in love with both Jasper and Sadie, Jasper is already in love with Alice and Sadie, and Sadie is in love with Alice and polite to Jasper but isn't quite sure about him. Like, she's in a peculiar place of "We are soulmates, and I do like you and feel an attraction to you, and I understand how our personalities are good together, but I don't know how long it'll take me to become comfortable with your past", and Jasper is just falling over himself to earn her approval, but she's comfortable with allowing it to take time.
(Rosalie is secretly very entertained by the whole thing, and Emmett is not-so-secretly entertained.)
Unlike in canon, Jasper would never suggest eating any human ever again; even once Sadie is comfortable with him, he never wants to risk making her doubt him the way she did in the beginning.
Jasper-Sadie
So at this point in his life, Jasper is eating people. His eyes are bright red, and he is ruthless, and Alice isn't around to temper that side of him.
This is absolutely a kidnapping situation.
When he runs into Sadie (entirely by happenstance), he doesn't know immediately that he is in love with her; he just knows that he wants to follow her, so he does. He stalks after her like he has stalked lots of prey in the past. Her blood doesn't sing to him, though; after several hours of just tailing her, he realizes that he just likes to hear her breathe and speak and laugh. He likes to look at her. He likes to taste her emotions on the air. He likes this human.
Then he realizes that he's in love with her, as much as Peter is in love with Charlotte.
He never wants to stop looking at her, listening to her talk...
He manages to get her alone, and he introduces himself in a charismatic, gentlemanly fashion. He kisses the back of her hand (managing to ignore the feel and sound of her pulse so close; he shouldn't take a risk like that again) and says, "Good afternoon, ma'am. My name is Jasper Whitlock. May I ask what your name is?"
She notices the coldness of his skin and the redness of his eyes (and again, time-period-wise, this interaction is very weird), but he is sending her the most powerful waves of comfort and calm that he can. She is dazed and perplexed, but not afraid, as she answers, "I'm Sadie Gilder."
It's the most beautiful name he has ever heard.
He abducts her pretty much then and there; he leads her away with a request that she accompany him and a heavy layer of mood control. Sadie is able to break out of the daze (through sheer overthinking) after they've walked together awhile; by the time she asks, "Wait, where are we?", they've reached the secluded mansion of an old widow.
(Jasper doesn't need a place to sleep, but his Sadie does, so he quickly identified this place as the best option.)
The order in which Jasper eats the occupants of the house and brings Sadie inside the house is up to your imagination, as is whether or not Sadie ends up seeing any bodies or seeing him with blood on his face and clothes. Either way, just the kidnapping itself is enough to have Sadie panicking, and he hates to feel her fear.
He holds her, gives her calming energy, and whispers to her. "Don't be scared. I won't hurt you, Perfect Sadie. I won't eat you. You're too special. Just gonna keep you right here." (He's just eaten a lot of people, so he's okay with breathing right next to her, so that he can keep whispering to her.) She falls asleep in his arms. He doesn't stop holding her, and he doesn't stop whispering. (Also, remember how the first thing he says to Sadie in Rule One is that she's warm and soft? Yeah, he still says that, pretty much verbatim, in this scenario. I'm not putting it in quotes, because it sounds dirty in a kidnapping context, but he for sure says it.)
The next day, since he's keeping up the comforting vibes to keep her from being afraid, Sadie asks Jasper a lot of questions. He tells her everything he knows about vampires. He isn't fully versed in vampire mating, so he isn't able to really inform her that his obsession with her is, to some degree, an inherent vampire trait, but he is very good at conveying to her that he is obsessed.
With no one to tell him to cool it with his power, and with his diet of human blood making his power more potent than it would be on animal blood, Jasper uses it at pretty much full capacity every time, instead of subtle shifts in emotion. So, while Sadie does notice that it's happening, she can't keep herself from the effects of his power by self-awareness alone.
He generally doses her with the same kind of peaceful calm he uses when he meets strange vampires for the first time, instead of the lethargic calm he uses to keep prey docile. He uses the latter when he wants her to sleep, but for the most part he just wants her to be unfearful and communicative.
She eats the food that's in the house. When he's able to convince himself to leave her unattended (usually after he's put her to sleep), he picks up more groceries and abducts some humans for himself. He keeps them in the cellar, far enough away from Sadie that she needn't know they're there but close enough that he can still hear her when he goes down to eat them. It's actually very convenient, not to have to hunt often; he just has to pop down to the cellar and enjoy a few of the already-injured occupants. Having a steady home has its upside. It's a shame someone will eventually notice the widow missing and he'll have to move with Sadie. But there will always be another empty mansion, or a mansion that can be easily made empty.
(When it's time to change homes, Jasper carries Sadie to the new destination while she's sleeping.)
Partially due to the mood control and partially due to the upfront-ness of everything, there's honestly very little tension between them. There's fear, sometimes (The one time Sadie tries to leave the mansion while Jasper is eating, he runs up from the cellar to stop her, and he's still covered in blood, and she's terrified, and it takes him a lot of soothing to get her calm again. It upsets him when she's scared.), but no tension. Sadie would like to leave, but she gathers that she can't, so all there is to do is maneuver within the new situation and learn more about her captor.
And neither of them is inherently a romantic. Jasper loves her, but even he isn't under the impression that they're dating or something. As far as he's concerned, he's keeping her; as far as she's concerned, she's studying him. Jasper is ecstatic with the arrangement, and Sadie is as comfortable as the situation allows.
Peter and Charlotte follow Jasper's scent at some point, wanting to hang out, and Jasper socializes with them outside the mansion, explaining that they can't go in because there's a human inside whom he is invested in keeping alive, and he can't risk them eating her. When they learn that he's in love, they ask if he plans on changing her, but he says that he can't yet. His control isn't good enough.
One day, Alice shows up.
She meets Jasper while he's in town, gathering food for Sadie and himself. They still have the little "You kept me waiting" "My apologies" flirtation, but he's a little more guarded, because he has to get back to Sadie, and as much as he is already beguiled by this weird-eyed stranger, he doesn't want her following him home. She's a vampire, and no vampires are allowed near his Sadie.
Alice really wants to skip the wooing; she's already seen herself with Jasper and Sadie. But she knows that mentioning Sadie too soon could make Jasper defensive, so she has to sprinkle herself slowly into Jasper's life, meeting him when he comes to town and letting his instinctive attraction and fondness for her grow into trust over a span of months (even moving towns when he does). She doesn't say anything about him switching to an animal diet, either; she tells him that she eats animals, but trying to influence him at this stage could alter her chances of seeing Sadie. Better to just let him murder.
Once they're at the right place, trust-wise, she tells him that she is already as in love with Sadie as she is with him, due to her psychic visions, and she asks to meet her. At first, Jasper isn't ready, but after she's asked a few more times, he allows it.
Alice has to be extra careful, because she wants to just run and hug Sadie as soon as she sees her, but if she makes a sudden move, Jasper will react badly. (Especially since the speed that comes with her small frame makes her a genuine threat to Sadie, even with Jasper there.) Not to mention, she has to endear herself to Sadie, whose only experience with vampires has been abduction.
"Sadie Lily Gilder," Alice says, barely restraining her excitement. "I am Alice Cullen. I'm your other soulmate."
Sadie is mostly perplexed and a little exasperated, but Jasper feels suddenly as if the sun has broken through the clouds. (Which means a lot, since he was already happy before.) Alice's joy at finally getting to see Sadie seems to fill the room, and this is his first time hearing Sadie's middle name, and...
"I like seeing you together," he realizes.
For the next few months, Alice is allowed to visit Sadie every now and then, under full supervision from Jasper. He can feel that she loves Sadie as much as he does, but he's still got to be careful. Humans are so fragile, and he's used to only trusting himself. When she comes, Alice brings Sadie little gifts that she never thought to ask Jasper before. She brings a new spritely energy to the house that Sadie comes to enjoy.
The following few months, (and after Jasper has watched her hunt animals) she's allowed to stay over full-time. They watch Sadie sleep, together. She's able to answer more of Sadie's questions.
Alice introduces Jasper to the idea of joining a family she's seen in their future. He doesn't want that many vampires around their Sadie, but as always, Alice says just the right things: they're all animal eaters; she hasn't seen a single future where any of them hurt Sadie; and the eldest of them could change Sadie for them.
(She also has to convince Sadie to want to become immortal with them, since she knows that Carlisle and Edward would be against turning her against her will. It helps that Sadie has been captured by a vampire for a while, now, and being a vampire herself would give her a chance of exerting some control over her future.)
When they meet the Cullens, Alice acts like they're already best friends. Jasper is more formal in asking the patriarch if he can change Sadie for them.
Edward calls them out on kidnapping Sadie, but Sadie points out that, unless things come to blows between the Cullens and Alice and Jasper, the only way for her to no longer be kidnapped is by becoming a vampire.
So Carlisle changes her, and she stays with the Cullens so that she can have someone to help her overcome her thirst during her newborn years without slipping up and hurting someone. Alice and Jasper stay with the Cullens, too (and the Cullens tell Jasper that he has to switch to the animal diet if he wants to stay). Eventually, all three of them are close enough to various members of the Cullen family that they just sort of become part of it.
Having been kidnapped at the start of all this, though, Sadie exerts her autonomy in pretty much every way. In her newborn years, in which she is more temperamental (though that isn't saying much; she's still pretty mellow by newborn vampire standards), she confronts Jasper for what he did, and he pretty much just takes it; things have worked out pretty great for him, so it's only fair to let her get it off her chest. Sadie can feel the bond between her and Alice and Jasper, but she can also feel that he didn't have to do what he did. She goes to visit her human family, once she knows that she won't eat them; she and Rosalie go on lengthy road trips; she and Emmett go to football games; she goes volunteering and home renovating with Esme; she learns languages and musical instruments from Edward; she learns vampire history from Carlisle and even joins him on a trip to Volterra.
She lets Alice buy her clothes but overall gives Jasper a wide berth.
Alice, having gained full trust from Jasper, is able to convince him to allow Sadie her space for a while, as she comes to terms with everything that happened. Jasper agrees, since Sadie isn't so fragile anymore and he knows that Alice is keeping an eye on her. So long as they know where Sadie is at all times, and so long as she is accompanied by at least one of the Cullens, he can bear to spend uninterrupted one-on-one time with his newest mate, especially if doing so will help Sadie to forgive him.
The diet of animal blood makes him less wild (but more tense, as he can feel that he is weaker), and the newness of everything in Sadie's life raises her spirits. Maybe eventually she'll be willing to hang out with him again, but it'll take a few years.
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Text
(I hadn’t planned on writing a follow up to this fic, but I kept thinking about what would happen next and therefore this happened.)
It was later in the day when Beau finally caught up with Kingsley again, hangover mostly gone and jobs winding down on the ship. Things had proceeded as normal that morning outside of the initial outburst, but as the day went on Beau had noticed Kingsley getting quieter and quieter, already unusual on its own but downright concerning after what had happened last night and this morning. She had no idea what was even running through the tiefling’s head right now, but based on what he’d yelled right after waking up? It was probably an unholy mess. Just trying to sort it out made her head hurt, and it wasn’t even her head.
She really hoped he could be okay, at least.
“Hey,” Beau said as she came up next to Kingsley at the edge of the ship, resting her forearms on the rail and looking over at him. He didn’t acknowledge her at first, continuing to stare out at the ocean and arms crossed as he leaned on the rail. She waited. If he wanted to talk, he would, and if not, she could at least give him some company.
It was around six minutes before Kingsley finally spoke up.
“You know,” Kingsley said, voice soft and a little rough from disuse, “for as much shit as I give you, we make a pretty good fighting team. It went better than the last time like that at least.” He reached up and rubbed at the scar on his chest and Beau’s heart clenched.
Jumping right into it it seemed. Shit.
“You remember that?” If he was going to jump in she might as well too, but her stomach still lurched at that particular memory. Memories which he apparently had now too, with no warning what so ever. No wonder he’d been so quiet today.
“Yeah. I-I think so.” His hands were shaking slightly. “Remembering’s pretty different than reading your book.”
He threw his hands up in the air. “And I know we've had plenty of times fighting bad guys together. That was just the first time I've been...” He trailed off, seemingly unable to finish the thought out loud. Instead he just huffed, going back to the rail.
“How you holding up? That’s... a lot, man.” Understatement of the year, but how do you even start to address something like that? (Something niggled at her, that there was more to it than remembering dying, but she couldn’t quite place it. She put a pin in the thought for later.)
“Honestly?” He scrubbed at his eyes for a few moments before dragging his hand down his face. “No fucking clue. And... yeah. It’s a lot.” Kingsley blew out a long breath and then groaned, planting his elbows on the rail and burying his face in hands. “This sucks.”
“You got that right.”
Beau let him have another few minutes, watching as some seabirds wheeled overhead in the afternoon sky and a few wispy clouds drifted on the horizon. At one point Fjord caught her eye from another part of the deck and he almost came over but she waved him off, not wanting Kingsley to have to deal with too many people at once. Eventually Kingsley shifted to prop his chin on his hand and Beau decided she'd be the one to break the silence this time.
“Do you remember anything else? Besides-” she gestured to the scar on his chest- “that?” His reactions this morning implied that he did, but it'd be better to hear it from Kingsley himself. He glanced over, straightening up and rubbing the back of his neck.
“Some? A lot? It’s hard to tell when I don't know how much there is to begin with. It... matches what Yasha's told me at least.”
Beau’s heart rate sped up a little. Those comments he’d made this morning about suddenly having two names, about possibly making Molly his middle name now, she forced herself to actually look at that. That niggling thought she’d had earlier got stronger.
“Anything in particular you’re wondering about?” Maybe a bit on the leading side, but probably harmless (and she really wanted to figure this out). She leaned forward a little.
Unfortunately for her, Kingsley picked up on her weird vibe and gave her a confused squint, leaning back the same distance. Fuck. So much for harmless.
“Nnnooo? What the hell are you on about?”
“Nothing! Just curious.” That just made him squint at her even harder. Ugh, Dairon would have given her so much shit for this, she wasn’t used to trying to interrogate a friend. A second later Beau realized the ‘interrogate’ part was the problem and she forced herself to relax. She was here to try and help her friend out. And fuck, why did he have to look so much like a kicked puppy when he was upset? That should have been illegal. She let out an exasperated noise.
“Okay, fine, seeing you so quiet and moody is fucking weird. And I wanted to find out what was up.” There. She’d said it.
“Nice to know I usually have the emotional depth of a teacup,” he deadpanned.
“Oh fuck off. You know what I meant.”
Kingsley cocked his head, just staring back as she glowered and eventually he shrugged. “Alright. What is it?”
“Something’s obviously eating at you.”
“And?”
“Captive audience if you want to rant a bit.” Kingsley raised an eyebrow at the captive part and Beau rolled her eyes. “Not literally. I'll still listen.”
“You? Willingly listening to me?” Back to being an asshole. And an obvious attempt to deflect if she’d ever seen it.
“Yeah. Shocking.” She didn't move, the wind blowing a few stray hairs around her face and Kingsley’s hair tossed about as well while he thought.
“How about this.” He crossed his arms. “You guys going to treat me differently now that I remember stuff from Molly?”
Beau froze.
She wanted to say ‘of course not.’ She should say of course not. But she still remembered that morning, when confronted with yelling purple teifling and memories of the death match fresh in her head, she’d called him Molly.
“Not unless you want us to.” The wind picked up a little and she rubbed at her arms, trying to chase away the gooseflesh. Beau wasn’t sure if it was just the wind.
Kingsley gave her a flat look, red eyes unblinking. “Really.”
“Yes, really. You’re our friend. You.” She hoped that was the right thing to say at least.
“So you guys weren’t disappointed at all when you got me?” He looked at her while leaning his back against the rail, arms still crossed and tail lashing back and forth. Beau suddenly remembered that even if he'd never reached the uncanny level that Caduceus was at, Molly had still been surprisingly good at reading people. And, apparently, Kingsley was too. Fuck.
She sighed and looked down. It felt crappy to admit, but she had to be honest. “Yeah, that'd be a bit of a lie. Still wouldn't justify taking it out on you though.” Her fingers dug into her upper arm. “What matters is who you are now. Trying to force you to be someone you don't want to be is just shitty.” She looked back up at him.
A few more connections came together in her head. She had to know.
“Do... you still consider yourself and Molly to be two separate people, now that you have the memories?” Beau knew as soon she said the words out loud that she’d finally hit on the crux of the issue and Kingsley outright flinched. She mentally scrambled backwards. Shit fuck shit- “You don't have to answer,” she added on quickly, “it's not my business.”
Kingsley hugged himself tightly, looking down and tail coiled around his leg. She felt like her heart was about to beat out of her chest.
"I don't know," he said, so quietly that Beau almost missed it. He didn’t look up.
“You don’t have to,” she said. “It’s okay to not know. And like I said it’s none of my business.” (And yet she’d still asked the question. Great job, Beau.)
“It’s just-” He let out a frustrated noise. “This morning, right after I woke up, with all the yelling?” His heel tapped on the deck, jittery. “I was him, mentally. Probably why it didn’t bother me then. But then of course I had to have a bunch of time to fucking think.” Kingsley hunched over a little, looking smaller. “Now it just scares the shit out of me.”
There it was. The answer to why Kingsley had been so out of it all day, and all it did was make her feel like a nosy asshole.
Beau let out a shaky breath, taking another moment to look at the ship around them. For better or worse they were completely alone right then, save for a couple of the seabirds still flying over head. Think. What could she say right now that might be able to help? She’d just exposed some terrifying personal bullshit on accident, so... maybe she could let him see some of her own personal bullshit? Even the scales a little.
“I know it’s not really the same situation, but...” Inhale, exhale. It was okay to talk to him about this. “I’ve talked to you about my shitty dad before, right?”
Kingsley nodded. “Yeah, I know about the shitbag. Still think he could use some extra stabbing.”
Beau couldn’t help but smile a little at that. They really were all ride or die for each other.
“Not gonna disagree with you. The reason I bring him up is-” She sighed. “Main problem he had is he wanted me to be someone I’m not. So focused on the ‘should have been’ and the idea in his head that he ignored the person right in front of him. Well. Still payed enough attention to be awful.” Kingsley was quiet, listening, and Beau gathered the rest of her thoughts.
“Guess what I’m trying to say is I know how awful expectations like that can be. And that’s the last thing I’d want to do to you, okay? And I’ll fucking deck anyone who does that.”
“Even if that person is me?”
What.
Beau was left speechless for a moment, completely unprepared for that response. That was. What??? “Okay, you’re gonna have to explain that one to me. The fuck?”
He shrugged. “Are you gonna deck me? For having unreasonable expectations about myself?” The end of his tail tapped against his boot and Beau just stared at him. “That sounds like what you’re saying.”
“That’s not what I fucking- ugh!” She gave a frustrated tug at the hair on the top of her head, some of it coming out of her hairstyle. “What I’m trying to say you asshole is that the only thing that matters is who YOU want to be and that’s the end of it! Fucking hell!” Her words caught up with her and Beau deflated a bit. “Ahhh shi- fuck-” her face screwed up. “I’m sorry. That came out completely wrong. Sorry. Shit!” Why did she have to be so bad at this?
“N-nah, I get it,” Kingsley said, looking away and cheeks flushing. “And I was pretty shit with what I was trying to say too.” He scratched the back of his head. “And, uh, thanks. For saying that. Really.”
He leaned back, propping his elbows on the rail behind him and hair partially falling in his face. “I guess what I was trying? To say? Is that other people aren’t the issue for me. It’s my own head that’s the mess.” He sighed.
“I like being me, you know? I’m happy. But...” He went quiet again, chewing on his lip.
“But?”
He looked directly at her.
“What the hell am I supposed to do when I can’t even tell what ‘me’ is?”
Just hearing that made her go cold.
“That’s... fuck, dude.”
“You think?” He lurched up and started pacing next to the rail, Beau watching as he went back and forth, tail swishing side to side and one hand gesturing, the other tangled in his hair. “I went to bed as Kingsley Tealeaf, that’s me. Fine, dandy! Then last night we fight in a death match, and there? Mollymauk Tealeaf! Also great! But now?”
He stopped pacing, hands falling to his side. Slumped against the rail. “I don’t know. If I think about picking, ditching one of them, I’m terrified. Not a conscious thing, just thinking about it, makes me scared.” Hugged himself. “But I’m also scared that trying to hold onto both might make me lose ‘me’ anyway. I just. I don’t know.”
He was quiet for several more seconds, eventually raking both his hands through his hair at once and staring up at the sky. “What the fuck am I going to do now?” he breathed out.
“You want an actual answer to that, or you just thinking out loud?”
It slipped out before Beau could stop herself and she had a small moment of panic. This was the kind of stuff Caduceus was good at, not her, but at the same time? She was the person who was actually here right now. And she still wanted to do right by her friend. Somehow.
Kingsley blinked and then barked out a laugh, one hand staying tangled in his hair and the other going back to the rail as the looked over to Beau. “Do you have an answer Scribbles? Or are you just bullshitting?”
“Psht, that’s your job,” Beau said, rolling her eyes, and she noticed him relax a little at the jab. Good. “But, honestly?” She thought it over for a moment. “You do what you want to. And I’m not bullshitting you,” she said, raising her hands in front of her at the look he gave her. “You do what you want. It doesn’t have to be complicated.”
He blinked at her a couple more times. Dread squirmed in her stomach, wondering if she’d fucked up her advice giving again, but she forced herself to calm down. “Just think about it. What you might want to do next.”
She could practically see the process of him thinking for the next few minutes, holding still and his eyes distant. Eventually he made a thoughtful noise, hands coming up to steeple in front of his chin and a glint coming into his eyes.
“Does that mean whatever I want?”
“Okay, now you’re just being an ass,” Beau said and Kingsley broke out into a grin. Maybe she hadn’t completely fucked this up.
“Takes one to know one Scribbles.”
“You know what, I might just deck you anyway-”
“I’d like to see you tr- actually, no, you definitely could,” Kingsley said, backpedaling and raising his hands in front of him as his brain caught up with his mouth and seeing Beau raising a fist. She couldn’t keep it up however and soon enough she was grinning too, Kingsley breathing a sigh of relief. At which point she socked him in the shoulder.
“OW!” He hissed out between his teeth, rubbing his shoulder. “Did you have to do it that hard?”
“If I meant to hit you hard, you’d know.” Beau held her fist in the air. “Trust me.“
He eyed the raised fist. “You guys are still terrifying.”
“Hey, that includes you, don’t sell yourself short.” She paused, mulling over her next question. It’d be better for her to know, she decided. “The memories you have from the death match, of... earlier Molly stuff. Do you want me to refer to that as happening to you? Or someone else?”
Kingsley’s face screwed up like he’d bitten into something sour. “Case by case I guess? Death match is okay since it just happened, not sure on the rest yet.” He gave helpless shrug. “I’ll let you know later.”
“Good enough for me. Cause you in the death match? Definitely in the terrifying camp. Like I said, don’t sell yourself short.”
The glint returned to his eyes, along with a toothy grin. “I admit, it was pretty satisfying.”
“Aaand case in point right there, just that expression is terrifying. Fucking hell, dude.”
“I do have a future reputation to build,” he said airily, which somewhat ruined the expression. It also made Beau have to muffle a laugh, and she had to work even harder to muffle it when she saw Kingsley pouting.
“Now that’s just rude.”
“Sorry, sorry,” Beau said, waving a hand in the air and breathing deep to calm the laughter. “This about the pirate idea?”
He nodded. “It is indeed! You should know that I have plans.”
That glint was back in his eyes again, even more worrying than before. Maybe she should warn Fjord about it.
...
Nah, he could find out on his own.
Beau stretched, rolling her head and resting her palm on the back of her neck before looking at Kingsley again. One more question she needed to ask.
“Any updates on the name?”
There was a pause, a long pause, and then he shook his head. “I’ll stick with Kingsley for now. And what I said with the middle name this morning... I’ll keep thinking on it.” There was still some hesitancy, but overall? He actually looked okay.
“Fine by me. And hey, you wouldn’t be the first of the Nein to end up with a different name.” She shrugged. “Caleb and Veth did. Hell, even Jester picked her own name.”
“Really?”
“Yeah! You should ask her about it sometime.” Beau looked back out over the ocean, sun getting lower and the last of the sea birds flying off. “And I think it'd be good to talk Jester and Fjord about stuff in general. I’m not the best at this life advice thing.”
“Noooooo, really?”
“Oh eat a dick.”
“Sorry, can't, you don't have one.”
Beau paused.
“You know, ask Jester about some early Xhorhas disguises we had. I think you’d get a kick out of it.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Color me intrigued. Any reason you can’t tell it?”
“Don’t want to rob Jester of the experience.”
“Now I’m really intrigued.”
“Beauuuu! Kingsleeeey!”
The two of them turned and looked up, following the voice to find Jester in the crow’s nest and waving down at them before cupping her hands around her mouth for the next shout. “We’re having dinner in 10 minutes! Be there!”
“Sure thing, Jes!” Beau hollered, waving back.
“Don't eat all the pastries before I get there!” Kingsley shouted.
“No promises!” Jester shouted back, before she gave one more very enthusiastic wave and started climbing down from the crow's nest.
Beau looked back to Kingsley, stretching then placing her hands on her hips. “Well, I think that’s our cue to get back to civilization.”
“You call this crew civilized?”
“Point. You know that includes you, right?” she said as the two of them started to walk.
“I know what I’m about,” Kingsley said, grinning.
“Suuure you do.”
“Yep!” he said cheerfully. He bounded ahead, tail swishing animatedly before spinning on one foot and throwing his arms out wide. “One uncivilized teifling, right here! And sorry, you’re stuck with me.”
“No refunds?”
“Nope!”
“Well damn. Sucks to be me I guess,” Beau deadpanned, but as she did she came up next to Kingsley and threw an arm around his shoulder, and her friend continued to grin.
“Come on. Let’s go show the rest of this uncivilized bunch what they’re missing.”
(Part Three)
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Opposites attract (Paul Lahote x Reader) Chapter 4
Warnings: Swearing?
Word Count: 1.7k
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Life had a round about way of giving you what you had longed for all along.
You had spoke to Paul for hours up on the mountain side, the world around you quiet as the only thing you could focus on was him. You sat side by side, invisible sparks crackling between warm skin as he told you everything there was to know about your new found wolfiness. He reassured you that even though you were mates, it didn’t mean you had to feel pressured into anything, an imprint was there to be anything for their other half, a friend, a lover.. You shivered at the sound of being Paul Lahote’s lover, you had to stop yourself from pinching yourself a few times.
It was dark by the time you made the descent down the frosty mountain, in normal circumstances you would have most likely died of hypothermia by now, but as you’d established, life was anything but normal.
You were laughing at something Paul had said when you heard a twig snap in the distance, it caught Pauls attention to, he tensed, pushing you behind him. Your face scrunched against his back as a foul smell invaded your senses and that’s when it happened.
A flash of red hair was all it took for your body to start quivering.
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“So that was a vampire?” You were changing back into clothing, your other stuff shredded in the shift. “I thought they would look… less human?” Your nose scrunched up when you thought about the vampire stench that came off the one they called Victoria.
You looked towards Paul who was tense with a capital T. He was mad that he didn’t sense her approach sooner, hating the fact that you were newly shifted and still had much to learn about being a wolf. What if something had happened to you? Luckily the red headed vamp disappeared when you and Paul started chasing her, the pack had followed behind in a second, your link alerting them to the threat nearby.
You walked closer to him, scared that he might be too angry. His back was rippling and his muscles tensed. Your small warm hand reached up to touch the space between his shoulder blades and it was like magic. In an instant he relaxed as invisible electrical current crackled between your skin.
He turned slowly and looked down at you, his gaze warm and calm when he looked into your eyes. He took your hand and pulled you into him, your bodies colliding in a much needed embrace, his chin resting on the top of your head. You sighed and snuggled your face into his toned chest as his arms came around you like a cocoon of safety.
“Yes Y/N, that, was a vampire. The only reason she’s here is because of the fucking Cullens and their pet project.” You felt his jaw tense on the top of your head, your hands rubbing small circles on the lower part of his back.
“What do you mean their pet project?” You hadn’t found out about Bella yet and her involvement with the Cullens. Vampires were your natural enemy now, but some part of you still found it romantic that a blood sucking demon fell in love with a human. A human that you didn’t really know, had only met in passing when she was little and used to visit the Blacks. Since then, you’d never seen her again, but by the sounds of things, you’d be seeing her very soon.
Sam had agreed to helping the Cullens. The pack had a treaty with them but it was unheard of for Wolves and Vampires to help each other, at least that’s what you were told anyway, you were still trying to wrap your head around the fact that when you got angry a bushy tail would maybe appear.
Alice, one of the Cullens, could see the future? Honestly things were still feeling like a dream. Anyway, she could see the future and had a vision of a big bad newborn vampire army appearing from the watery depths below and invading forks. Naturally the Cullens would have handled it on their own if they could, but the numbers predicted were too many and they needed help. That’s where you guys came in. They would never see you coming.
“So were going to learn how to fight these newborns?” Paul had sat down while giving you the lowdown, his arms never leaving your waist, he just plopped you on his knee instead. You felt him tense again.
“Paul if you tense anymore you’re going to break a bone.” Your fingers found the back of his head, playing with and twisting the dark hair at the nape of his neck.
“You’re not going to learn to fight anything.” That made you halt your finger twirling. You looked at him with a scowl and he raised an eyebrow as if saying “try me.”
“Im a wolf like the rest of you now, just because i’m your soulmate doesn’t mean I shouldn’t know how to defend myself or learn how to.. you know… be a frikin wolf! What if you weren’t around and some vampire came about and boom, Y/N doesn’t know how to defend herself, then what?” You stood up from his lap, pacing slightly in front of him.
“I’ll never leave your side so you don’t have to worry about that babe.” That made your heart flutter but also angered you at the same time.
“As much as I love that Paul, it’s not realistic, what if Sam sends me off with other members of the pack or what if something comes up and you’re just not around? You can’t guarantee that you’ll always be around.” You watched Paul huff. Actually huff life a child would when they were told off.
“Awh come on you big baby, i’ll be fine!” You were interrupted by Sam and Emily coming through the door, Quil, Embry and Jake following behind, Leah coming in seconds after the rest.
“Who’s fine where, what?” Leah grabbed a cookie from a bowl Emily put out, she still want gotten over the feeling of betrayal when Sam left her to go to Emily, but you thought you saw a glimpse of… something there. Maybe she was getting used to being around them and the guys more. You’d like to think it would help now that you’d be around too, she had a confidant, a shoulder to lean on. You’d have to talk to her after, when you were both alone, find out if she was okay with everything going on. It’s not exactly like you could help it, but still, you wouldn’t be a good friend if you didn’t at least check in.
“Nothing, Paul is just worried about me learning to fight with the rest of you guys, you know, for the big, impending doom of the vampire army.” Sam frowned.
“I have to admit, I kinda agree with Paul on this one.” Leah stopped munching on her cookie when Sam finished his sentence. Embry and Quil looked around awkwardly and Jake wasn’t really paying too much attention.
“The training starts in two days and you’ve only just turned for the first time today, it might be too early for you to gain control over your wolf.”
You couldn’t believe Sam was siding with Paul. What the hell was the point of you turning and being chosen to be a Wolf, being told you’d have to give up everything you’d been working towards, for you to then be told you can’t fight and do what the fuck you were designed to now do.
“This is bullshit. I was perfectly fine being a normal girl, studying, working towards something I’d been dreaming of my whole life. Now this happens and you tell me i’m not ready. Whatever.” Leah stood at the same time you did, you heard Paul’s chair scrape back.
“Babe come on, it’s not like that.” You glared at him.
“Then what’s it like Paul, because i’m sure if I was a guy and didn’t have an imprint and the roles were reversed, i’d be training with the rest of you, newly shifted or not.” You grabbed your phone and house keys and made your way to the door, Leah walking beside you, most likely knowing exactly how you felt.
——————————————————————————————————
The next morning you woke to 20 missed calls and 40 texts, mostly from Paul a couple from Sam, one from Emily and even one from Jake. You snorted as you turned over in bed, noticing Leah sprawled out like a starfish, mouth hanging open, hair in every direction. Same old Leah.
You opened the message from Emily, wondering what she would have to say, she wasn’t someone you’d really spoke to before because of the whole love triangle but she seemed nice.
“I spoke to Sam about how unfair it was for you to miss out, all sorted ;)” .. what the hell did that mean?
Then you read the messages from Sam. “Training starts tomorrow at 8am, don’t be late, sorry about what happened the other day, i’m not used to having a pair of imprints in the pack.”
You could see where he was coming from. As the leader it was probably hard to always please everyone and Sam was obviously siding with Paul because he’d been part of his pack longer, friends when they were younger and he knew what it felt like to have the need to protect your mate. Still, they would just have to get used to it.
Leah soon woke and then left, pack duties. You would be put on duties soon enough, but first, you needed training. So that left you with a day of doing nothing, well, that was until you heard a knock on your.. bedroom window?
You grabbed the first thing that was closest to you for protection, a hairdryer. You hadn’t opened your curtains yet so couldn’t see what horror awaited, what if that red headed vamp followed you, but wait, wouldn’t you smell her? Or are your abilities not heightened enough yet? You got closer to the window when there was a knock again. The closer you got the happier you felt. Frikin Paul. Curtains pulled back, balcony door opened, your soulmate stumbled through wearing nothing but shorts.
“Babe, you’re a werewolf, were you seriously going to attack me with a hairdryer?"
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