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jamestrmtx · 3 years

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Fairytale Complex - [Undertale | Sans x Reader]

[Gender Neutral, Frisk's Parent Reader | Slow Burn]

Chapter Twenty | Ooo (Part 1 of 2)

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Alternate Chapter Title: Before the Clock Strikes Midnight

• • •

Knock-knock.

However common, the sound makes you jolt. You stop everything you're doing to check on your schedule, needing to consult with it first to better establish yourself into reality. It takes a few pages and some seconds of reading for you to determine you don't expect any visitors today.

Knock-knock.

"One moment," you shout; stress spikes as you fail to wrap things up quicker, having to bring the stew into a boil before turning it off.

You're not sure what to anticipate from the one waiting at the door, nor why it's worrying your thoughts as much as it is. A knock was nothing to be afraid of, as wasn't receiving a surprise visit if you were to consider how tidy your home was and how up-to-date you were with your responsibilities. Regardless, the sound of the door opening sends all meditating techniques aside and panic replaces your search for serenity and reasoning. You rush off to the living room and get ready to face whoever's there, though not without letting that alert state show through your posture and the way you hold on tight to the knife you used for cutting the vegetables.

"Who's-"

Warmth leaves your body the second you see who the person is; the knife almost falls, yet the visitor rescues it by its handle and gives it back to you afterwards. Your offensive stance vanishes and you find yourself incapable of storing the weapon away without making yourself seem like an anxious mess. The man stares at you throughout -- making matters worse, no doubt.

"G- God, I'm sorry!" you blurt out, frowning. "I thought you were-"

"I've had worse welcomes into strangers' homes," Bubbles says, remaining unfazed. "Though that still doesn't excuse the… oddity of your actions." He greets Frisk -- now closing the door of the living room -- with a nod and a smile. He then takes a small step forward and closer to you, cornering you in place without doing much about it. "Is there something wrong, (L/N)? You appear different from the first time we met."

You gulp tension away and attempt a smile.

"It's been a rough couple of months, so I've grown... worried about bad things happening," you reply, taking a breath. "N- Not even those two months without Frisk were as scary as these new changes. Back then, I had little to lose -- I'd already lost my own child; there wasn't much left around for me to keep living for. No reason for it. Frisk wasn't with me anymore, and… And I destroyed all my other relationships, so -- in the end -- I was alone and I didn't have anywhere to go." You huff and follow it up with a shudder. "But now… Now I've got plenty to lose and barely any ideas on how to prevent that from happening. I don't want to lose the progress I've made until now, and I… I don't want to keep screwing up so much, either."

"You should seek some sort of counseling, if so."

He takes a step back and sits on the couch when Frisk offers him to.

You copy the man's actions, choosing the recliner opposite to his seat to maintain eye contact with him.

"There's a fine line between fear and paranoia, and I believe you're crossing the latter now," he adds, frowning. "Or do you consider it normal to come running all the way from the kitchen to the living room, pointing a knife at me -- and looking as on-edge as you were just a moment ago?" He stops for a minute. "I understand you're being cautious, and that you're worried over Frisk opening the door to anyone who knocks on it, but your reaction just now was much different from the first day we met -- in a few ways positive, but in most ways not."

"I… I'll try to find some help, then," you reply, sighing. You then bring a hand to your forehead and rub at your temples, brow creasing in the process. "But... May I ask what's the reason for your visit? I thought our next meeting would be by the end of the year," you stop yourself at the feeling of being impolite, "...Not that I mind you visiting! I just… I thought I had more time to research more about monsters."

He keeps quiet for what feels like an eternity, heightened by the loud ticktock of the clock hanging nearby. "I can answer, but only if you promise me you'll be true to your word, and if you provide thorough evidence the next occasion we meet -- both with your counseling and research."

"I already have some on my research," you say, smiling. "Could I show it to you?"

"You should," he replies, impassive.

"E- Excuse me for a moment, then."

He nods.

Nodding back, you walk off to your room and clear your throat on the way there in an attempt at gaining some strength. You can feel your resolve debilitating with each second, likely product of the surprise visit, but undoubtedly influenced by factors beyond it. The bunny notepad gifted to you was still a work in progress. You'd barely just managed to cover half of the ten main people Frisk was associated with. Toriel, Papyrus, and Sans were the three you'd learned most about, while Undyne and Alphys had been left behind with the whirlwind you'd been pulled into since the monsters arrived at the Surface. It's difficult to admit you'd rather go back to how things were before Frisk ended up at the Underground, yet -- at the same time -- there's plenty of things that outweigh that desire, varying from the help and friendship both Toriel and Papyrus offered you, to the 'friends with benefits' sort of relationship you shared with the latter's older brother.

You brush those thoughts aside when picking up the notepad; priorities are rearranged as you step out and make way back to the living room.

No matter what, you weren't about to lose your child simply for allowing them to keep spending time with a group known to have hurt them first. Something had to be done, even if it involved you becoming an antagonist. As lovely as the monsters were and are, there are some sacrifices you're not quite ready to make yet -- however selfish some of these make you feel.

The routine of breathing in and out is kept in mind as you arrive at the living room, where -- true to his word -- Bubbles is still at. He's still sitting on the couch, but at a different spot as he leaves space for Frisk, who's showing him the hundred-piece puzzle they're more than halfway through finishing. A smile can be seen on his face, and he doesn't have his sunglasses on anymore, making him appear much more approachable now. That -- however nice of a sight to see -- changes when he looks up from the puzzle and stares down at you, smile changing to a firm line and eyes narrowing when meeting yours.

"Is that all your evidence?" he asks, gaze going further down to stare at the bunny notepad in hand. "Forgive me for saying this, but I'm afraid that doesn't seem like much, at first glance."

It isn't.

Bile forms in your throat and you're urged to squeeze the notepad tight, too anxious to let your muscles relax and too nauseous not to grow irate. "It's possible it might not be much," you confess, frowning. You then bite on your lower lip to prevent your voice from lowering. "I've had a tough time deciding, and…" You sigh and loosen your shoulders afterwards. "And then other things got in the way, but... Judging by the situation, I should wait until you ask me what these things are, shouldn't I?

"That would be preferable," he replies, gaze and mouth softening. "Care to place that notebook on the table? I'll only need a few minutes to look through it."

"Of course."

With that final agreement, you approach the coffee table and set the evidence down. An instinct to flee from the scene while he reads overcomes your senses, though you remind yourself of the severity of the situation and what lies ahead. You sit back down on the recliner and tap your foot as you wait for him, an action you can't bring control over with how shaky your entire body is. Even so much as keeping yourself in one place feels like a challenge you're not exactly ready to overcome presently. Regardless, you comply and distract yourself by looking at Frisk, who's still finishing with their puzzle.

"It's been months, and yet this is the only information you've found?" Bubbles asks, fixing the sunglasses now resting on his head as he brings the notebook closer to him. "There's hardly ten people on this list, (L/N)," he adds, face scrunching as he reads through the list again. "Just what have you been up to this entire time?"

A combined sense of guilt and embarrassment take over, causing an overall inability to stare at him, already hard to do with the intensity of his gaze. "I've been touring the Underground," you begin, bracing yourself with a breath. "I was also hospitalized for a while, and then there was some... personal trouble with my ex-husband the day after I, well…" Your face burns at the thought. "Spent the night at a hotel with, uh… monster number three."

Bubbles eyes the list again and stops immediately.

"Serif?" he asks, showing you the notebook and pointing at his name. He then looks back to it and skips through a few pages. A subtle curve shows up on his mouth, almost making him appear as if he's smiling. "I assumed as much, judging by how much there's written about him." Sighing, he closes the notepad and stares at you again. "But spent the night in a literal sense, or-"

"Literal!" you exclaim, too stressed to bear listening until the end. "We're not dating, but…"

"You wish you were?"

"Uh… Kinda?"

His neutral expression changes to a subtle frown. "That doesn't answer my question, unfortunately."

"I'm not sure," you elaborate, huffing as you furrow your brow and grimace, headache returning. "We've… We've called each other nicknames a couple of times, and we almost kissed once, but, well…"

"Wasn't he the one troubling you the most?" he asks, frown growing more prominent. "While I do not wish to question you over who you befriend, this is the same man you informed me about a few months ago, who -- quote: 'threatened Frisk with death and did very little to help them out in the Underground'." He stops to breathe in deep, huffing just as loud after. "Can you sincerely admit to me you've developed a crush on him ever since then -- cross your heart?" he adds, forehead wrinkling and hands folding over the notebook. "Has he shown any repentance over his actions for you to be forgiving him so easily?"

"That's exactly why ren's not dating him officially yet!" Frisk intervenes, standing up from their seat like a lawyer would do when defending their client. "They-"

"Please, do not interrupt us. It's for your own good, Frisk (L/N)."

"But it's true," they state, persisting. "I-"

"It's been roughly three months since I last gave this home a visit, and yet I've seen little progress made with the only task I assigned to you, (L/N)," he says, standing up straight. "You were meant to determine and establish which monsters are safe to have around Frisk, and which ones aren't, but -- so far -- the only information you've given me's going stagnant with how long it's taken you to make a decision."

You're the one to stand up next, against letting yourself feel weaker.

"That's what I've been doing, even if it looks like I haven't made any progress," you reply, fists clenching. Your heart races faster with each moment that passes, making you seek some calm through the reminder of how fragile your current physical state is. "I- I've toured half of the Underground with that same man, I've settled an agreement with Toriel as to how much time she's allowed to spend with Frisk, and I'm... I'm trying to understand number three's intentions by-"

"By dating him."

"Please, let me finish."

Bubbles chuckles and crosses his arms, staring down at you afterwards. "Alright." He sighs and loosens up as he massages the bridge of his nose. "Then, would you be kind enough to explain to me what you've learned about him so far? And just why haven't you made a decision yet, if you happen to know him that well?"

"He's, uh…" You hesitate with a frown. "He's difficult to understand, but he... He means well, and I trust his intentions better these days."

"This is the same man you were accusing of being a hypocrite the first day you met him."

"And now it's been months, sir." You harrumph when noticing the sudden rise in your tone. "I've learned enough now to know he doesn't mean any harm."

"And to what extent would you say your trust towards him goes?" he asks, uncrossing his arms and softening his gaze. "Is it enough for you to accept his and Toriel's offer of having you and your child in that new school? Or enough to still hesitate when asked about the nature of your relationship with him?" His stern mouth turns to a frown, revealing whole-hearted concern. "How can you trust him enough for one thing, but not the other -- if one is much more weighted than the other?"

You take a second to think and calm down some more. His questions make rounds about your mind as you weigh the pros and cons of not only your relationship with monster number three, but with everyone else, as well. Finding an answer proves difficult the more you stay quiet to reflect on the heaviness of both sides. Either way, consequences would soon follow, and you were required to act fast -- judging by Bubble's words. If you wanted to let Frisk keep their relationship with the monsters and for you to maintain your own, you needed to speed things up more than you would want to, given how much willpower you have left.

"Because even then, they're still different things," you speak up, breaking the silence. "Accepting that job offer and letting Frisk go to Toriel's school isn't the same as opening my heart out to someone new, when I screwed up big time seven years ago with a different guy."

Bubbles takes the notepad and gives it back to you. Then, he fixes his attire and looks at the time. His expression is hard to read with how serious his eyes and mouth have become, though his calm tone reveals he's neutral over the situation when he replies with, "Who you date is none of my concern, so long as it is done with another consenting adult, and so long as it doesn't bring any harm upon Frisk. The same goes for your friendships, but time's running out, and I need you to start making decisions soon." He stops to slip his sunglasses back on, masking his gaze, smoothened by sympathy for what seems like a split second -- if not less. "It's either that, or I'll have to make them for you." He sighs. "And as I'm sure you know, these aren't the best for you or your child. It's what the department requires for the safety of Frisk, above anything else."

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• • •

Stay tuned for a Pride Month related notice after the next update is out.

As always, take care, stay safe...

...And Happy Pride! 🌈😄

• • •

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#sans x reader #undertale x reader #lgbt #lgbt themes #gender neutral reader #male reader #female reader #mother reader #father reader #parent reader #chubby reader #long fic #romcom #adventure #mystery #platonic relationships #slow burn

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ayamari-no-goshi · 3 years

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Verboten 11 | (T)

ff.net | AO3

Fandom: Danny Phantom (DP)

Summary: AU. When Danny was five years old, he went missing for 2 weeks. In the years that follow, his family tried to make sense of what happened, only for the truth to be discovered years later.

Warnings: rated T for violence, mentions of death, language. Be prepared for some very weird things

Chapter warning: child kidnappings mentioned

Parings: Danny/Sam

Notes: originally uploaded to Ff.net. Cross-posted to AO3 and tumblr. This fic is very heavily inspired by folklore surrounding mysterious wilderness disappearances

Chapter 11

The return home was nothing but a blur. Sam’s mind couldn’t make much sense of anything until she focused on flashing lights in the darkness. Panic gripped her as the possibility those skeleton creatures followed them, but voices soon filtered through the dark trees. She called out to them in a raspy voice. At first, she thought her voice was too faint to reach them, but someone heard her.

One of the rangers came into focus as he approached her. After flashing his light over the area, he tried asking her something. His question didn’t make much sense to her, so she attempted to tell him she was okay, but the others might be hurt. Her vision swam as the ranger contacted someone on his walkie-talkie. The last thing she heard before blackness took her was the ranger trying to keep her conscious.

…

She woke up to find herself staring at a pale gray ceiling. Confused, she turned her head to get a better idea of where she was. The white walls, a single chair where Tucker was sleeping, and an IV which was attached to her clued her in that she was in a hospital. Why was she in a hospital? After glancing at Tucker again, she determined the better question was why was Tucker in the hospital? He hated them.

He roused himself after a few moments. “Hey, you’re awake!” After allowing himself a moment to stretch, he moved to her side. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired.” Her throat felt like sandpaper. “How’d I get here? Where is everyone else? Where’s Danny?”

“I was told the Rangers called in ambulances after we were found. We and the A-listers were taken here. We were actually the least injured – just some scrapes and bruises. The doctors said you also had a bad bump on the head. Some of the A-listers are in critical condition, but they should make it.” He glanced around before leaning closer so he could whisper, “When I was released earlier, my parents told me Danny had been found and taken here, but they’re not allowing visitors. He’s being questioned by the police because he was found in a different location hours after us and relatively unharmed. Mom said the doctors seem worried about his vitals.”

“But he didn’t do anything!” She tried to sit up only to have Tucker gently stop her.

“Hey, the only way your parents let me in here was if I promised to make sure you didn’t get up if they weren’t in the room. I’m not pushing my luck after everything else that happened.” Once he was certain she was done trying to move, he went back to the chair and wrung his hands. “Trust me. I know he didn’t have anything to do with what happened, but it looks weird to the cops that he wasn’t found with us.”

Sam wanted to argue with him just so she could vent. Danny didn’t deserve that suspicion. He was probably most affected by what happened. Remembering him in that ghostly form, she hoped he would be okay being in the world of the living. He was back there with them, so she guessed he would be okay.

She tried to question Tucker for more information, but her parents interrupted them. After a boisterous show of relief from her mother, her dad had enough tact to politely ask Tucker to give them time with their daughter. She glared at Tucker’s betrayal as he gave a half-hearted salute before he exited leaving her to try to block out her mother’s piercing voice.

….

After a barrage of tests the next morning, the doctors were confident she could be released. However, her parents wanted them to keep her for another night as a precaution. Since the doctors gave her a clean bill of health, the police came in to take a statement from her. She told them what she felt she could – that someone who called himself Youngblood killed Lester and took Mikey, and after she and her friends got separated from the others, were hunted down by someone called Plasmius. While the police seemed skeptical, they did admit her story matched up with her friends and what they could get out of Dash and Lucas.

Her annoyance at the police lessened when Tucker brought her news they were allowed to go see Danny. Her nurse was fine with it as long as she returned to her room after a couple hours.

Danny’s room was on a different floor so it took them a few minutes to get there. After knocking and entering, they found Danny sitting up on his bed and chatting with his sister. After greeting them, Jazz excused herself after giving him a searching look.

“What was that about?” Tucker questioned as he glanced back towards where Jazz disappeared.

“You know her and her psychobabble. She’s convinced I’m traumatized need to talk to someone.” Danny’s tone seemed light, but there was a notable frown on his face. “I can tell she knows I’m withholding information.”

“I think the police also think that. The cop I talked to earlier seemed upset I didn’t give him more information,” Sam admitted before she moved forward to give him a quick hug. “How are you doing considering…?” She gestured vaguely to his body. “You still owe me a date, you know.”

A chuckle escaped him. “I know I do, but they need to let me out of here first. Then we can play it by ear.” He brought his hand to his chest. “Some of my vitals are wonky because of… what happened, so the doctors want to observe me for a while still.” His eyes grew distant as he continued, “Overall, I think I’m okay, but this place makes me so uncomfortable. There is so much emotion, and… I think they’re remnants of people who died. They might be ghosts, but they seem so wispy compared to what we saw. Clockwork told me that place corrupted ghosts over time, so maybe that’s what it is. The ghosts here aren’t corrupted.”

“Dude, I feel you about hospitals being creepy. The only reason I’m here is to visit you two,” Tucker admitted as he removed his hat and wrung it. “But what do you mean by emotion?”

There was a green tinge to Danny’s eyes as he glanced at them. “I can feel… maybe taste… the fear and grief in this place. I don’t like it.”

After sharing a concerned look with Tucker, Sam gently patted Danny’s shoulder. “There are old stories that say ghosts seem to respond to strong emotions. Maybe that’s what it is.”

“Maybe.” His reply was half-hearted.

“So, how exactly did you get back? And how did the visit with Clockwork go?” Tucker questioned as he sat on the only chair in the room, leaving Sam to rest on the end of his bed.

“Frostbite brought me back after we got the report that you were attacked, he led me to a different portal as the one you went through already closed.” His head tilted as he thought about it. “Clockwork was very unsettled by the events. He’s the ghost of time, by the way, and I don’t think I ever want his job.” After catching their confused stares, Danny launched into a hushed explanation of what Clockwork told him.

“You’re telling me the ghost of time missed seeing that weird thing?” It was Tucker who finally broke the stunned silence after Danny finished. “He’s not very good at his job, is he?”

Danny shook his head. “I don’t think it’s Clockwork’s fault. From what I caught, it seems what or whoever is employing those things, they are able to move in his blind spots.”

“You said something about how those things are looking to steal kids. Do you think we have to worry about them?” Although Sam wasn’t too worried about herself, she did have small cousins that while they were brats, she had no desire to see them harmed.

“I’m not sure. I wasn’t given too much information about them, and I don’t exactly have a way to try to find a way to find out either.”

“Hmm… When my parents finally allow me out of here, I’ll go through my collection of folklore and mythology. I know it’s a long shot, but maybe there’s a mention of something like what you described.”

“Oooh! That’s a good idea. Why didn’t I think of that?” Tucker smacked himself on the head as he brought out his PDA. After a few quick button pushes, he held it up. “I now have a program running to see if there are any recent reports of those things? It might take a bit of filtering to get around CreepyPastas, but I think it’ll work.”

Danny gave them a trembling smile. “Thanks guys.”

Their conversation soon drifted to more mundane things like school and imagining Sam’s parents going on a rampage against the school district. Their conversation came to an end after Danny’s parents entered the room, a little more excited than normal. They clearly wanted to discuss something in private, so Sam and Tucker excused themselves. Tucker then walked Sam back to her room, where her nurse was waiting for them.

xxxxxx

The next day, Danny was release from the hospital under strict orders he needed to be carefully monitored. His temperature and blood pressure were still on the low side, but he seemed to be healthy. Uncertain whether or not that was his new baseline, they figured his parents would return him to the hospital if he took a turn for the worst. So, he would be allowed to stay home from school for about a week.

If he was honest, he didn’t think he parents would be too motivated to keep an eye on him as they had a new toy to keep their attention. While he, his friends, and classmates were lost in the world of the dead, his parents managed to punch open a hole into that very place with an invention they had been working on for decades. Most of their waking moments were spent hovering around it and taking measurements.

He didn’t understand why they would make such a thing. Its energy infected everything in the house. He doubted his parents or sister were able to feel it unless they stood in front of it, but that energy thrummed in his very core. It wasn’t exactly a comforting feeling, but it seemed to calm the constant fighting between his human and ghostly forms. He supposed he should be at least thankful for that as it helped prevent slip ups around his family.

That had been the most nerve wracking aspect of his changes. His energy often surged without warning which triggered some sort of ghostly ability that both Frostbite and Clockwork neglected to mention to him. His body parts liked to inappropriately pass through solid objects or disappear for a few minutes at a time. It often went away after a few frantic moments of trying to fix the problem. He had yet to tell his friends about it.

For the most part, he kept to himself and in his room while he was under this surveillance period. However, he still had bodily needs. So, he would venture to the kitchen for snacks.

A couple hours after dinner, he went downstairs for one such snack. He found his sister in the living room watching breaking news regarding a disappearance of a teen. As he listened to the reporter, a strange chill ran through him. That chill worsened after they showed a photo of the girl – she was an underclassman at his school.

“How long have you been standing there?” Jazz demanded after she realized he was there. Had he really been that quiet?

“Long enough. What exactly happened to her?” He moved to sit down on the couch with her.

“After what just happened to you, I don’t think you should listen.”

He rolled his eyes. “Jazz, I’m fine. Besides, I already heard enough to know she went missing around the same time me and my classmates did.”

Jazz narrowed her eyes as she seemingly examined him for some unknown sign. When she didn’t find it, she sighed and caught him up. “She and her family went on a normal hike on a short trail outside the city. When she didn’t come back at the designated time, a search party went looking for her. She was found unharmed near a bend the creek that follows that trail.” She paused as she scratched her head. “It doesn’t seem too unusual, but something her parents said in an interview is bugging me. They said she seemed like an entirely different person after she was found. I’m trying to get more information to see if I have any information that might be able to help them.”

“You probably shouldn’t stick your nose in it.”

The expression she shot him went from offended to sheepish as she backtracked. “Well… I wasn’t going to directly get involved. I was just going to send a message to their doctors if I could find a psychological change that could help with their prognoses. I wonder if they’d let me do a case study on her for my class.” Jazz had received special permission to return home for a couple weeks to make sure Danny was fine. However, true to form, she had promised to work on any potential projects due the time period.

“Jazz… I’m serious. You shouldn’t get involved.” When Jazz looked like she was going to argue with him, he gave her the most intense glare he could muster. “You have no idea what might have happened to her. Getting involved when you shouldn’t, might make it worse, or you might get yourself involved in something you’ll end up regretting.”

She floundered as she tried to find her words. If he didn’t know any better, she almost seemed afraid. “I don’t understand you,” she eventually told him. “You’ve never taken such an interest in any of my previous projects.”

Danny just rubbed his temples. Jazz didn’t tend to back down from anything unless she had a sound argument. “Jazz, I’m telling you, there’s something wrong here. Don’t approach her.”

“Are you implying that her temporary disappearance has something to do with what happened to you and your classmates?”

“I know it sounds crazy, but call it a gut feeling.”

She gently patted his shoulder. “I know what this is about.”

“You do?”

She gave him a pitying look. “Because your situations are so similar, you’re projecting your fears and experience on to her.”

“What? That’s not it at all!”

“You just keep telling yourself that, little brother.” With that phrase, she effectively dismissed anything else he had to say.

Still unsettled, Danny excused himself and went back to his room to see if he could find any more information as to what happened to the underclassman and to alert Sam and Tucker to the information. While he was able to get little more than the information he heard on the news report, the feeling something else was wrong wouldn’t leave him.

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rosesvioletshardy · 4 years

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life as we know it - b.h. chapter 2

finally this is done. it’s a little shorter than last chapter but i can’t promise it’s better? anyways i might take a little while on the next chapter because exams are coming up and i need to study so i just hoping y’all don’t give up on this i have started writing chapter 3

masterlist

summary: when their two best friends die, it’s up to people to take care of their goddaughter and face the challenges that come with it

# of words: 2305

warnings: little bit of swearing, both characters being dicks to each other, fluff and cuteness

late september 2016

over the months, everything went smoothing. ben went back to filming and y/n went back to running her bakery. when christian and lennon came back, they had the post wedding glow but at the same time lennon had the pregnancy glow like every other pregnant woman would. nothing would stop that woman from teaching and decided that at her 8 month mark she finally decided to stop and go on maternity leave until she was ready to go back.

Because of this, y/n and ben have been on high alert and making sure that their godchild and mother and father were okay. it was revealed that lennon was going to have a girl and everyone was so happy for her and christian. her due date was halloween and no one was shocked seeing it was lennon’s favorite holiday. earlier in the day, christian had sent lennon, his mother, and her mother all for a spa day so that him, ben, and y/n would be able to work on the nursery seeing that it wasn’t done besides the crib. the only problem was that arguments started all over again

“no, why can’t you help christian with the changing table and i actually paint. i’m the only one here who is at least creative and can draw and shit, no offense christian.” y/n told ben already rubbing the sides of her forehead knowing that her headache won’t go away

“none taken, and she’s right jonesy, we can’t draw for shit let alone paint without screwing up.” christian said not even looking up from the changing table instructions already tired of the two adults fighting and acting like children

“are you joking? how would you, of all people, know i can’t draw? maybe i’m good at it and it’s a secret talent i have?” ben told at her

“yeah, and i’m a world class gymnast that can do everything perfectly without screwing up!”

“can the both of you just literally shut the fuck up and paint different sides of the room the colors we picked out please?” christian practically yelled the two adults before continuing

“look, i know you both want to be the best godparents there ever is and make sure you make lennon and i happy, and that this baby gets everything handed to her perfect. you’ve already done that just by helping us with everything else and by being our best friends and family, but just for this one time, i need the both of you to do something where it seems like she won’t be the adult and you two are the children. now, she’s going to be back in about 2 hours and i promised her we’ll get at least half the room done and we’ll finish the rest either tomorrow or the day after or whenever. just, do whatever we have planned and that’ll be great. thank you.” christian told them

“fine, maybe i could lay down the tape and you can paint i’m tired of this already. i got somewhere to be soon anyways.” ben said grabbing the tape

The three continued to work on the room and filming some memories for baby wakes up until christian got a call from his mother telling him that lennon’s water broke in the middle of a facial

“i thought she was supposed to give birth next month?” ben yelled searching frantically over the couples house for the stuff they needed

“she was, the baby just decided to come out early i suppose.” christian told him not being able to find where he put the baby bag for lennon when she gives birth and y/n noticing causing her to react

“chris, why don’t you go to the hospital and we’ll meet up later with some of the stuff you’re going to need afterwards. okay? just take a deep breath, in and out. good, now go be a dad.”

“congratulations you got this we’ll see you as soon as she’s born.” ben told him hugging him

“okay, see you guys soon. I’m going to be a dad!” he yelled as he ran to his car

“i’ll get their stuff ready, you can go wherever you need to go. i’ll call you when lennon gives birth.” she told him as she started to walk to lennon and christian’s room and grabbing one of their bags

“are you sure? i can call and cancel and reschedule? i don’t want you to always be the one doing the work, especially in times like this.” ben said to her

“yeah, i’m fine. your meeting sounded important, like for a new movie or something. just go ben. it’s fine.”

“alright then, um, just text or call me if anything happens. bye.” ben said leaving the room and headed towards his car

y/n next spent the next few hours fixing up some stuff to take for them and fixing them some food to eat that can feed a whole army knowing that they’ll have their hands full for a while

according to christian, lennon still hasn’t given birth but she’s close, so y/n decided to head down there in case.

as soon as she left, ben entered the house again, feeling guilty that he left without helping her with everything and deciding to finish building all the furniture. when he was finished, he sat in the middle of the room thinking about how life can suddenly change for two people as another one came into their lives. he snapped out of his thoughts when his phone started to ring, he answered it without looking at the caller ID and he got his with someone yelling in his ear.

“SHE’S HERE! BABY WAKES IS HERE! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE!” y/n yelled before she hung up causing ben to quickly get up and run back down to his car and to the hospital.

When ben arrived at the hospital after stopping at the store to get a few stuff, also known as a giant teddy bear and a couple of balloons, he saw y/n pacing back and forth waiting for christian to come and get them. she saw that he had gotten the exact same teddy bear as her and she wanted to call him out but it was normal for people to do this kind of stuff and plus their goddaughter was just born so they didn’t want to fight at the moment.

“i would yell at you right now and be mad and annoyed that you got the exact same thing as me, but since we are in a very public space i won’t.” she told him

“thanks, have they said anything?” ben asked her as he sat down

“no not yet, christian came out to tell me everything was fine though, they just needed to clean her up and do some tests, and then are allowed visitors.” “okay. i really can’t believe that they’re parents now. it’s really unbelievable, when i was growing up with christian, never would i think that guy would be mature enough to become a father, let alone a lawyer, and now he’s both. jesus it’s crazy.” ben said shaking his leg with excitement

“same here, lennon was basically the wild child in college but she somehow is a schoolteacher. everyone thought i would be the first to get married and have a kid, but wow how have the tables turned.” she said finally sitting down

“so why haven’t you settled down or have kids? if you’re comfortable answering?” ben asked her curious seeing that she seemed like the type to settle down by their age

“um, i guess i just haven’t found the right person yet. i thought my ex would be the one, but the douchebag cheated on me.” y/n told him looking down at her hands

“i’m sorry that happened. i also want to apologize for earlier this year when we tried to go on the date they set up. i really should’ve been more presentable and nicer-” ben started

“and not take a booty call in front of me?” she said cutting him off

“and not take a booty call in front of you.” he finished laughing a bit

“it’s okay, really. i’m actually seeing someone and i think he’s great.” y/n told him

“that’s amazing, i’m really happy for you.”

“what about you? what happened to the brunette from their wedding?” y/n asked curiously

“nothing. she didn’t seem like my type-” ben began before getting cut off by christian telling them they could come in

“hey, you guys can come now.”

ben and y/n followed christian to their room and they couldn’t be more excited. as they entered, they saw lennon in her bed cradling their daughter and the two godparents couldn’t have smiled bigger at the sight.

“hi guys, we want you to meet charlotte lucia wakes, charlie for short” lennon told the two before continuing

“do you want to hold her?” she asked

“uh, yeah. she’s so small.” y/n said taking the baby from her best friend as christian pushed a chair for her to sit in, cradling her head

ben walked over to where y/n was and looked over her shoulder. she lightly ran her finger over the baby’s face before she stopped at her hand and charlie tightly wrapping y/n’s finger in her tiny hand.

“hi baby, i’m your auntie y/n, i’m going to make sure you have some fun in your life and not be trapped with your parents all the time.” she said in a whisper

ben looked at her holding the baby and wondered what it would be like to be a dad. he was snapped out of his daydream when y/n asked him if he wanted to hold her

“ben, hello, earth to ben?”

“yeah? sorry what did you say?” ben asked snapping out of his thoughts

“i asked if you wanted to hold her. you okay?” she asked him

“yeah i’m fine, just thinking.” he told her as she gave charlie to him making sure he was holding her head

the next few hours consisted of the four adults talking about the process up until lennon had to feed charlie and ben and y/n decided it was a good time for them to leave seeing that it was already late and visiting hours were almost over.

the pair said their goodbyes to the new parents and headed on their way out. when they got to the entrance, y/n pulled out her phone to order an uber since she didn’t take her car when it happened. ben noticed and decided to offer her a ride home seeing that it was nighttime and no one knew if the driver ended up being a creep or not.

“hey, do you want me to give you a ride?” ben asked her putting his hands in his pockets

“you really don’t have to, i just ordered an uber. thanks for offering though.”

“it’s really no problem, you still live in the same place right?” ben asked still unsure if she had move in the past several months

“i still live in the same place, yeah. are you sure though? i really don’t want to bother you.” she told him

“you're not bothering me at all and it’s really nothing. just please let me do this one nice thing for once. i sort of don’t want something to happen to you because you never know what’s going to happen.”

“ben jones, are you going soft on me? fine. i’ll let you drive me home.” she asked him while crossing her arms before opening the uber app once again, canceling her ride.

“no, i’m not. i’m just trying to be a nice person, don’t think charlie wants to grow up without an aunt and only have an uncle.” ben told her trying to avoid eye contact

“yeah that’s why.”

“okay enough let’s go.”

y/n laughed as she followed ben to where his car was. when they entered the car it felt a little awkward. why was ben all of a sudden being nice to her?

The drive to her apartment was too quiet to both of their tastes. neither one of them knew how to strike up a conversation, not even how their day was before lennon gave birth but they knew that already, or what they’ve been up to. they kept quiet until she broke the silence,

“so, how was your meeting today?”

“it was fine, just some acting stuff that’s all” ben answered before continuing

“how’s the bakery going?”

“it’s going good, thinking about renovating it a bit, you know changing the place up, trying new recipes”

“That sounds nice. hope you get to do it.” ben told her stopping at the light

“yeah, it does but it’s also expensive so it’s on a hold until i can figure out something.” y/n told him as she looked at the window

“you know i can always help, just have to ask. it’s no big deal.” ben said as he pulled up to her apartment complex seeing the familiar gates

“no. i can’t take advantage of you, ben. it’s your money and you do what you want with it. i know you’re trying to help but i really don’t need to be seen as a charity case. please don’t try to argue with me.” she told him in a pleading tone

“fine. i won’t help you then. goodnight y/n.”

“i’m sorry. goodnight ben.” y/n told him, her voice barely in a whisper closing the door

as ben drove off, the two can’t help but feel a sense of guilt in the way they both acted to each other a few minutes ago. ben, because of the way he started to act after she rejected his offer, and y/n for the way she rejected his offer.

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coeurdastronaute · 4 years

Text

Either/Or: Hands 2

Previously on Hands

The sun wasn’t a fair representation of the absolute drudgery of the entire day and the feelings that hung heavy in the hospital suite. Spring didn’t care about the bitterness that festered and stewed despite all the best intentions, and so it shone brightly and left streaks of yellow across the bed and floor, warming the sterile hospital bed.

None of that mattered until a certain doctor breezed into the room and threw open the curtains, not letting the beauty go wasted.

Lena didn’t move when the lights flooded her room. She didn’t blink or look up, but rather stared at her hands as they laid on the pillow in her lap. The scars were starting to heal, the faint red lines becoming pink, the hardware being removed. Sometimes she was afraid to move them, not because they hurt, but because it didn’t feel the same as it did before.

“I’m glad you’re up. You get so grumpy when I wake you.”

Only then did Lena look at the stranger in the room and roll her eyes.

“I’m not grumpy.”

“You are frequently grumpy.”

The stare that she gave didn’t really support her position that she wasn’t grumpy, but rather expressed a resigned kind of deference, wherein she knew that her grumpiness would be coddled and tolerated and eventually lightened by the girl who came in with the sunshine behind her.

“I have a lot to be grumpy about, if I actually was grumpy.”

“Why? You still have your hands, you’re not terrible to look at, you’re a reasonably good conversationalist--”

“And I can’t even play Twinkle Twinkle,” Lena interrupted.

“Yet. I will say,” Kara nodded, as she pulled up the stool and sat beside Lena’s bed, “that you are insanely bad at patience.”

“Give me a time then. You won’t give me a goal.”

“I had to see the progress and healing, wait for the hardware to come up, factor in any subsequent surgeries.”

“But I’m all done with that and being discharged today.”

“Yes, you are,” she nodded and pushed up her glasses.

Gingerly, Kara cleared her throat and reached forward to take Lena’s hand as she was now growingly increasingly good at doing without blushing. She blushed often when she was in a certain Luthor’s suite, and even more so when she touched her.

Lena watched her face with interest, something she was known to do frequently, unable to stop herself. She didn’t want to. Desperately, Lena wanted to sulk and let bitterness eat her alive and to hate life, which was made exceedingly difficult by a girl like Kara.

So instead of watching Kara’s intense eyes, Lena looked down at her hand because it was a safe place, even with Kara’s hands on her own.

To and fro, up and down, pushing against tightness and waiting to gauge Lena’s reaction, Kara went about her work professionally. She didn’t betray anything as she did the usual tests, which was unbelievably frustrating to the patient who thought herself getting used to the small tells of her brow or lip or eye.

“How does it feel?” Kara asked, still not looking up.

“Better. Hurts sometimes.”

“You’ve been doing the exercises and stretches I told you about?”

“I have been. All day. But I’m careful.”

Kara nodded and smiled to herself before setting down the hands in her own and taking a deep breath. She met Lena’s eyes and cocked her head to the side. It felt like an eternity and Lena waited eagerly.

“Two months until you’re doing scales. Six months until you’re getting very frustrated by your body not doing what you want it to do, and getting mad that I can’t make it work quicker.”

“I am going to have to learn to play all over again.”

“No, that skill doesn’t just disappear.”

“It does.”

“I don’t believe it, but if you do, do you think you can get it back?”

“I hope so.”

“You have to do more than that. Are you in this with me, Lena? Even if you end up hating me, even if you think you’re never going to get back, you have to believe you’re going to be the girl that blew me away when I watched you play on old videos.”

She didn’t think there’d be a hesitation, but something about the earnestness in Kara’s eyes made Lena really think over how much she meant the words and how tough the journey might be. When her voice failed her, she just nodded, slow and steady at first before quickly picking up the pace when the determination, and what some might call stubbornness, peaked its head. Kara grinned and nodded as well.

“I’m in it too,” she promised. “Whatever you need.”

“I’m going to put up a fight.”

Kara snorted a laugh and sat up, pushing away from the patient.

“I wouldn’t expect anything less, Ms. Luthor.”

“Ugh, don’t call me that.”

“Call you your name?”

“Yes. You know I hate that.”

“I’ll refrain as best I can.”

“It’ll be easier when I’m not a patient.”

“You’ll be my patient for at least six months, didn’t you hear my timeline?”

With her back turned to the hospital bed, Kara jotted down a few notes while Lena stared at her shoulders and debated what it would mean to leave. She wasn’t sure, suddenly, what it would mean to be without the sunshine in her life.

“You’re going see it through with me?”

“I plan on being front row of your next big concert. Complimentary tickets and all.”

“I can arrange that.”

Lena soaked in the smile as Kara made her way toward the door.

“I’ll see you before you leave, okay? Behave.”

“Yes ma’am.”

XXXXXXXXXX

Halfway through her day and Kara had too much to get done, just like every other day. A neverending barrage of patients and follow ups kept her bouncing around, keeping it together as best she could, but by lunchtime, it was already a long day she couldn’t wait to escape.

She didn’t want to think about the fact that her favorite patient was leaving. That wasn’t something that felt real because she couldn’t remember a time before Lena. It didn’t seem right. So Kara avoided that wing and she didn’t have lunch with Lena like she normally did. In fact, she kept checking her watch during sessions, afraid of what the end of the day might mean.

When she got the call to see the head of the department, she genuinely had no idea what it meant, but she wasn’t eager to do it.

“You wanted to see me, Cat?” Kara asked quietly as she tapped on her bosses door before being ushered in.

“How is it going with the Luthor?”

“To be expected, honestly. She’s coming along well enough.”

“The Luthors have requested your services, so I’ve split your cases to the department, and your focus will be on the youngest and her recovery.”

“I have patients though. People I’ve worked with--”

“And you’ll continue to work with them, but I need you focused on her recovery.”

“I am, but I have--” Kara furrowed and shook her head.

“This isn’t a request, Kara. This is what your schedule is going to be geared toward over the next few months.”

While she wanted to open her mouth and argue, and while she wanted to get more specifics, the look on her bosses face was disinterested enough for Kara to know that the conversation was over.

“Thank you. Please shut the door on your way out.”

As soon as the door clicked, Kara furrowed, even more confused about the rest of her day and aware that she didn’t have to parse those feelings about the youngest Luthor just yet, because even though she thought she’d see her often enough in physical therapy, it seemed like now it was going to be more often.

XXXXXXXXXX

With vaguely the same level of apprehension as she felt the very first day she read the folder that had Lena Luthor’s name on it, Kara found herself awkwardly shifting between her feet and re-reading the piece of paper with the address and passcode for the fancy high rise downtown, still unsure of how she got herself into this situation. Surely there were world-renowned doctors and specialists that money could have bought that would have done the same thing she was about to do.

The nerves didn’t leave her as she got onto the elevator she was directed toward, nor when she punched in the number and code for the penthouse but for just a moment, when all was quiet and she was somewhere halfway up the tall building, she took a deep breath.

The door opened to a well-lit space, open and inviting, and oddly almost exactly what Kara would picture for Lena, if she allowed herself to think about her. But she didn’t want to think about her friend that way, or rather, her patient.

From the quiet, a noise came, the soft twinkling of some piano keys, not particularly a song, but just a few key strokes, the same sound methodically before it changed to another. There wasn’t a melody, but Kara followed it anyway, moving through the open area toward a room bathed in sunlight. She passed a tall wall filled with shelves of books, with vines of green plants dripping down the sides. Plants covered almost everything, greenery seeping into the rather minimalist decor.

So naturally, Lena sat at the piano bench, the large grand, as if she was part of it, as if it was her natural habitat. Fingers ran along the keys.

“You’re jumping ahead a bit in my rebah schedule.”

“I don’t think I can go a day without touching the piano,” Lena smiled as she turned her head to greet the visitor. “Even if this is all I can do.”

“We’ll get you there.”

“I sure hope so.”

“Well, your family has effectively booked me to be your personal trainer for the next foreseeable future, so I’m all yours, Ms. Luthor.”

Lena just smiled and rested her hands on the keys, nodding to herself. Shyly, Kara sat beside her and looked down, afraid to touch such an expensive and important machine. But she moved her hands and began to play the notes, not making any sense, just making noise. And Lena followed, trying her best to add some sort of rhythm to the cacophony. All Kara was doing was echoing what she imagined a piano player would do, and as she stretched her hands, she focused on the movements, and realized just was was asked of the tendons and muscles. She was lost to the sound and picked up only on the movements, flexing and testing and knowing full well that things were even harder than she imagined.

Though she stopped all of a sudden, Lena followed Kara’s lead and took a deep breath, laughing as she finished the song.

“That was fun. You’re a natural.”

“You’re being too kind.”

“No no,” Lena laughed. “All you need is about 17 years of training.”

“I wasn’t meant to do this. You were though.”

“How can you tell?”

“You made chaos sound beautiful,” Kara explained. “That’s a gift.”

“I don’t believe in gifts, just practice.”

“You should. You have at least one.”

Normally, she’d fight it, but Kara was smiling and honest and sitting right there so that there shoulders were touching, and Lena found herself blushing at the idea of someone admiring her ability, so she just nodded.

“I’m sorry my parents did what they always do.”

“I can’t say I’d do anything different,” Kara shrugged. “If I had the money, I’d never stop demanding the best for my family.”

“I find it hard to believe you’d behave that way.”

That earned a snort.

“Maybe. But I’d want the best. I get it.”

“They’re overwhelming and overbearing, but they mean well.”

“I’m just honored they deemed me worthy of pulling strings.”

“You’re the only one I might listen to,” Lena informed her, shifting and walking away from the bench. “I have problems with authority. My father says it’s because I’m smarter than most in the room. I don’t think it’s that, just a very long stretch of my teenage years being obsessed with British punk.”

“Really?”

“Did you think I only listened to Mozart and Bach?”

“Kind of.”

“Sorry to burst your bubble.”

“Are you ready to get started?”

“Do we have to?”

“We should. I want to hear you play, and I’m not going to stop until I do.”

The renewed burst of purpose made Lena feel empowered enough to agree, and despite herself, she thanked her parents for knowing exactly what she needed.

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minervahopebeyond · 4 years

Text

Blood Petals.

Hi!! I’ve been dying to write this chapter 💕I hope you like it!

Ps. Sorry if you find any errors (from grammar or vocabulary)

Chapter 15: After the game.

All bad things happen fast. Harry had learned that from a young age. So fast, that one could only stare as they happened before your eyes. The problem was, that bad things were always happening around him. He was cursed.

He took the dive as fast as he could. It was not enough. And he saw it all.

The coughs. The way that Malfoy was grabbing his own throat. The red face from the suffocation. Blood. How fast he fell. How fast he hit the ground... how hard the boy hit the ground.

He got to the floor a few seconds later. But that was the thing with bad things: they only took seconds. It didn’t matter if someone was ‘almost there’ of avoiding them, they didn’t wait for the hero to come in. They happened.

He kneeled next to the blond boy. Something yellow covered in blood was scattered all over his chest. Harry took Malfoy’s face between his hands and tried to wake him up.

“Come on! Don’t do this to me, you competitive git! I told you it was too high!” He knew that he was yelling, but the prat wasn’t waking up.

Suddenly, someone was pulling him away from the boy. As he was fighting to free himself, he heard his father’s voice.

“Stop, Harry. They are going to take him to the hospital wing.” He could feel the arms around him, hugging him. “He is going to be fine, Dumbledore and Snape casted something so that the fall wouldn’t be as-“

“What about the blood?” His voice came out strangled. “There was so much blood on his chest.”

All the professors were around Malfoy, trying to move him without hurting him further. Harry just wished they would let him get near.

Sirius suggested to wait outside of the hospital wing so they walked over there. Harry felt like everyone was moving too fast.

They were the first to get there, then his best friends followed; and lastly Parkinson and Zabini, with Snape by their side.

“Someone from St Mungo’s is coming. They don’t want to move him, and Madam Pomfrey needs help.” Said the potions professor.

Harry just nodded; his best friend, on the other hand, was freaking out.

“But What does he have?”

“Ron, stop. They clearly don’t know yet.” Hermione touched his arm and something in the redhead relaxed.

His dad and Padfoot had guilty expressions on their faces. Harry didn’t like that. Then Padfoot spoke.

“Actually... we know.”

Snape turned to where he was with a wild look on his eyes. His godfather casted a muffliato and kept talking.

“A few months ago, Draco told us what the deal was... He didn’t exactly knew what it meant, but I did. He asked us not to tell.”

“And of course you two listened to a sixteen year old. Because you are unable of thinking about the consequences.” He snarled.

Their faces were full of guilt. They didn’t even tried to argue with the man in front of them. Then, Snape asked them what it was.

“It’s Hanahaki disease.”

Harry saw how fast the face of the man changed, from pure rage to unbearable pain.

At least this time, Harry wasn’t the only one who didn’t know what was going on. Parkinson, Zabini and his friends were all asking questions, demanding to know what this disease was. Snape was the first to speak, voice strangled.

“It’s an awful, rare, disease caused by unrequited love. Flowers grow in the patient's lungs until the roots reach the heart and strangle it to death. Unless the feelings are reciprocated, which almost never happens.”

Harry’s glasses broke right then. He was having problems to control his magic, he could feel it radiating off him. Hermione slowly took off his glasses.

“Oculus Reparo.” She murmured and gave them back to him.

“Thanks.” He said in a low voice.

“We didn’t know it was this bad already. We asked, almost daily... He kept telling us that the was only having the coughing fits.” His dad was worried, he could hear it in his voice.

“Of course he lied, Potter. He knew he would be treated differently.” Snape sighed.

Ron, Zabini and Parkinson were frantic, saying that they should have taken him to the hospital wing by force, while Hermione seemed to try to calm them down a little.

Harry could only stare. He felt so guilty. To think that, at some point, he thought that ‘the deal’ was just a lie that Malfoy had come up with... But, no, it was true: the boy was dying.

Not only was Malfoy dying but he was dying from love itself. The boy loved so desperately that his own feelings were making him sick.

He just kept seeing the boy falling in his head... or lying on the floor, not moving. Fuck.

“Hello, I’m Healer Jones. I need to speak with the family of Draco Malfoy.”

The man looked young. Harry wondered if it wouldn’t be better to have a more experienced professional, since the life of a teenager was at risk.

Snape and Padfoot talked to the healer. Harry could get some things from the conversation and none of them were good news:

1. There wasn’t any treatment, except maybe a potion to ease the burning from his lungs after a coughing fit.

2. With time, everything would get worst.

3. He highly recommended to avoid quidditch. Yes, no shit.

Apparently the most worrying thing right now was the fall. Malfoy’s body had shut down because of the traumatic events, the combination of suffocating and falling from his broom, had taken his brain into the edge of what it could handle... Long story short, the useless healer, couldn’t do anything to wake the boy up, they just had to wait. Harry hated waiting.

“Just wait? Did you see the state that he is in?” He said with a harsh tone. His father was trying to pull him into a hug to calm him down. He pushed his arms away and walked to where the healer was.

“You are telling us that he has a terminal disease and that he is not waking up, all at the same time? With such ease”

“Mate, it’s not his fault...” he heard Ron say behind him. He ignored him.

“Do you have any good news?” The healer was staring at him, dumbfounded, his mouth opened to try to formulate a response but nothing came out.

Harry let out a groan, pushing his hair back with his hands, frustrated. His dad grabbed him by the shoulders and dragged him away, so that Sirius and Snape could finish talking with the prick of a healer.

“Harry! Stop, the man is just doing his job!” He turned to look at his father.

“He didn’t do anything!” He yelled. Something in his voice was cracking, breaking “Nobody understands, I saw him fall. I should have been faster. I just keep seeing it in my head over and over-“ He felt the tears coursing down his cheeks, he didn’t care.

Why did bad things always happened around him? The more people he cared about, the more people got hurt. He can’t save them, he is not good enough. He couldn’t save Hermione from getting petrified. He couldn’t catch Petigrew to freed Padfoot. He couldn’t save Cedric from getting killed. He couldn’t save his friends from Umbridge’s torture. He couldn’t catch Malfoy as he fell. He sobbed, tears continued to flow from his eyes.

He felt being pulled into a hug, the familiar smell of nicotine filled his nose as he kept on crying. His godfather kept whispering into his ear ‘It wasn’t your fault’ ‘Breathe,Harry’ ‘We love you so so much’. He could hear his father asking if they were allowed to see Malfoy now. He blinked, clearing his eyes.

“Yes, normally I wouldn’t recommend to be allowed so many visitors but given the situation...” The healer looked at Harry then, guilty expression on his face. “I’m sorry that I couldn’t do more than explaining the situation. The only thing I can tell you is that his magic is still strong, kiddo.” He said with a kind smile. “ He is a powerful young man, his magical core decided to shut him down so he could recover after the trauma. Otherwise he would have lost too much energy trying to stop the coughing episode. When his magic feels that he is healthy again, he is going to wake up. That’s a promise.”

Harry hated promises. They were almost, always, lies that people told to ease bad news. He really hoped that this man was telling him the truth, though.

—————-

Dumbledore said that his dad and Padfoot were welcome to come everyday to see Malfoy if they wished. They tried to get in touch with the boy’s mother but Snape said that it was likely that the letters were being intercepted by Lucius Malfoy. Harry hated that prick.

All of them had to keep attending their classes, which he thought it was bullshit. Who cares about transfiguration? There is a sixteen year old boy in a coma . Parkinson agreed with him; in fact, she got detention for talking back to Snape about the way that they were handling the whole situation.

As soon as the scholar day ended, the five of them would go to the hospital wing and stay until curfew. They ate together there, studied and talk about trivial things... Waiting for the bloody boy to wake up at some point, to call them out on the stupid things they said.

Padfoot and his dad came to the castle everyday, but they stayed outside of the hospital wing when Harry and the rest of them arrived.

It was the fourth day that they were living like this. It felt surreal. Being with the Slytherins, next to Malfoy’s bed...

They heard someone outside, talking with his father and Padfoot. Harry frowned and started walking to where they were. The voices became clearer.

“I just want to see him for a minute. I promise I won’t be long.” It was Nott.

Before he could say anything, the prat was already inside of the hospital wing, walking towards Malfoy bed.

“Where the hell do you think you are going? Leave.” The way he said it caught the attention of the rest. Suddenly the room was filled with yelling, telling the boy that they didn’t want him here, to leave the blond boy in peace. Nott didn’t take the hint, though.

“Nobody wants you here. I don’t even want you near my father or my godfather. After what you said to Malfoy the other day, I don’t want you near him either.”

Nott rolled his eyes and looked directly at him.

“You don’t know shit about Draco and me, Potter. Move or I’ll curse you.”

“If you do something to him, I swear-“ That was Parkinson, high pitched tone and everything.

“I know how this works, Pansy.”

Harry didn’t like it. There was an understanding, apparently. He thought that they all hated each other... But Zabini kept looking at him like he was going to murder him, so maybe he wasn’t so wrong in thinking that.

Parkinson offered Nott a few minutes alone with Malfoy. Ron and him protested, saying that they didn’t trust the git, but Zabini and the girl dragged them away from the infirmary.

“That’s the friend that Draco told us about, right?” Padfoot asked to the Slytherins. “The one that he was fighting with.”

Harry felt a pull on his stomach, he didn’t like that he had talked about Nott with them. The prat didn’t deserve the boy’s friendship. He saw how Malfoy was with Ron or with Parkinson and Zabini. He was sure that Nott didn’t deserve that.

“That’s Theodore Nott. They known each other since they were in diapers.” The girl crossed his arms. “He is probably the worst person on the planet, which of course means that Draco sees the good in him.”

“Of course he does.” Said his father.

Harry rolled his eyes and then he heard something from inside of the room. Malfoy’s voice. He widened his eyes and ran inside.

The blond boy was awake, looking really tired. Soft smile on his face. Harry felt like a weight had been lifted. The rest of people outside followed him and froze. Suddenly, Parkinson was screaming bloody murder.

“ What did you do, you stupid fucker? The doctor said that he had to wake up by himself!”

Malfoy closed tightly his eyes and frowned.

“Pans, stop yelling, my head is killing me.”

His dad and Padfoot stood next to the boy. His godfather put a hand on Malfoy’s forehead to check his temperature.

“How do feel, little cousin?”

“Like I fell from the top of a building, Sirius.” He said with a lazy smile.

Nott chuckled. Harry couldn’t see how he found that funny. Then the grey eyes were on him, tired but happy...

“I won the game.” He said with a huge smile. “It was on my ‘to do’ list, you know? To beat you at a game.”

Harry could feel the rage flowing through his veins. He took a deep breath, restricting himself from yelling at the boy.

“ Are you telling me that you almost died on Saturday for the stupid snitch?” He hissed.

“I’m dying anyway, Potter. I’m sure you heard.”

Something inside the room shattered. He heard bottles breaking and liquid spilling on the floor. Everyone was looking at him, worried eyes on their faces. The only one who didn’t care was Nott, he only arched an eyebrow and returned his eyes to the boy on the bed. Something shattered again. He couldn’t control the magic around him.

“...Okay” His father put his arm around him and started to walk him towards the door. “Let’s go take a walk, Harry. I could use some fresh air.”

He looked over his shoulder to see Malfoy. The boy was frowning at him, confuse look on his face. Harry couldn’t blame him, he didn’t understand half of the things that happened in the last few days.

#drarry #fanfic #fanfiction #prongsfoot

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mollies-mad-moments · 3 years

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Update 07/01/2021

Hello lovely followers. Thought it was about time I gave you guys an update. Up until now I haven’t really had the energy or motivation or concentration.

So. It started on Boxing Day. I was shivery and hot and cold and felt like I had a heavy cold. That night I hardly slept and just coughed the whole night away, used my blue reliever inhaler so frequently that I had palpitations. I contemplated waking my carer but I thought I’d wait til a reasonable time. 7am came and my baby woke up. I got him ready for the day, after which I had no energy left and could hardly breathe. My temperature was very high at 39•C. The carer called 111 and they dispatched an ambulance. The paramedics were absolutely lovely to me. They inserted a cannula and gave me IV fluids, along with oxygen because my sats were low at 93%. They said not to pack too much to take with me, mainly because of the corona virus but also they said I might be able to go home with antibiotics and steroids. So I grabbed my handbag and off I went. I deteriorated on the way to hospital so when we got to A&E I was rushed straight into resus. They put me on high-flow oxygen and used my phone to ring my carer and my Mum (my next of kin), to say that I was being moved to Intensive Care and that I might have to be intubated as my body was fighting so hard to breathe; sats at 87% on oxygen. Thankfully, my COVID test came back by the time I got to ICU as negative but I was still very poorly. They took several arterial blood gases, then inserted an arterial line. I was given IV antibiotics, steroids, carbocisteine, magnesium, potassium, paracetamol and fluids. I had a catheter inserted and had an NG tube to feed me temporarily as I was too weak to even eat.

I lost track of time in ICU, it’s a very strange place. The lights are always on, all day and all night, and each patient is on constant 1:1 with a nurse, with very close physical observations, hooked up to all sorts of monitoring.

Eventually I was out of the woods and moved to a High Dependency bed on the respiratory ward. The nurses there were amazing. By this point I was struggling mentally as well as physically. Although I had still been having all my regular psychiatric medications, the admission was taking its toll, I felt paranoid and agitated and I was given PRN diazepam several times to help with this.

NG tube remived, I was eating normally but the antibiotics gave me terrible diarrhoea. I had to use the bedpan, and had to be cleaned up by a nurse, which was a humiliating experience, but the nurses were so kind about it all.

Thankfully I was only in HDU for 48 hours, then moved to a normal bed. And that is where I am now.

I am now completely off oxygen and my sats are stable at around 95%, and only drop to around 93% upon exertion. My catheter was removed, sadly I have a bladder infection now but I’m being treated with MORE antibiotics for that. Also, as usual for me on antibiotics, I’ve developed thrush (TMI sorry!). I’ve also put on over a stone of weight since being here, courtesy of high dose steroids making me ravenous at all times. Today, with the help of the physiotherapists, I’ve managed to get out of bed and into the chair, and have used the commode to empty my bowels and pass urine.

I’ve been having daily visits from the hospital’s Psychiatric Liaison Team, which has been really helpful. I know most of them already because they used to work on one of the psych wards I spent a long time in as an inpatient. They’ve quite literally kept me sane, and gave me the time and space to talk through all of my many worries and keep me company since nobody is allowed visitors.

I have missed my little boy terribly, but once I was well enough I was able to talk with him on FaceTime before his bedtime every night. I held it together every time I was speaking to him but afterwards i always cry. It’s so hard.

The plan now is to continue with antibiotics and steroids, keep seeing physio to strengthen my body again, and hopefully I’ll be home in 2-3 days!!

Thank you to everyone who has read this far, sorry if I’ve bored you.

Stay safe, stay golden, you’re all amazing x

#mental health #recovery #mental illness #schizophrenia #inpatient #psych ward #positive #hospital #pneumonia #poorly #paranoid schizophrenia #psychiatric hospital #update

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kaiju-z · 3 years

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Seon Adventures, Episode 34: The Journey to Tutum

When last we left off our adventurers, the party had prevented a duel to the death between Mournimar and a duelist, hired by his ex-boyfriend, follower of Potencia Lazarus, rescued a talking Celestial Warlock Dog named Samson by brutally overkilling a group of deserters from the war and reached the border of Aetorumia and the neighbouring lands.

In the evening, while Malak confronted Luctan over his past behavior and gifted him an Orb of Direction, Samson the Corgi nearly escaped with his life, avoiding a fight with the spirits ithat dwelled within the well he attempted to steal money from. In the morning, Malak would express his displeasure in the party’s actions against the ex-soldiers, empasionately as Malak would allow himself demanding that they could and should do better than this, before also gifting them items of their own.

A Pipe Of Rememberence for Jun, a Handy Spice Pouch for Belli and a Pot Of Awakening for Mournimar. He would then finish his meal outside, before the five + Samson would reconvene on their journeys...

To everyone’s surprise, however, at some point, while Malak bought a map, Luck made a 7 gold coin offering at the shrine and the rest restocked any provisions they might have sacrificed on the journey so far, Samson had trotted off on his own little adventure. A one dog army~!

After paying the Innkeeper handsomely for her food and donating for her establishment’s futue, the party would get in their carriage and, led by Kevin and Killer, make their way out the border town, their eyes taking in the massive expands of sands and dunes. No structures in sight, Malak being quite familiar to it. Having known this shit and the thought he’d said goodbye to it coming back to haunt him.

Before the group could leave on their weeks long journey, a laugh would catch their ears and as they’d turn their heads in the direction of the amused fellow, they’d see an aged orange haired man with a shit eating grin, making japes at the group for traveling as they appeared. In plates and leathers and all that sort of stuff.

Questioning the scarred man’s attitude, the party would note that he appeared off-proportioned in a way. Somewhat dwarven, but much taller. A Half-Dwarf!

While Jun asks him if he could guide them, which he planned to offer his services for the very pricey 2 PIECES OF GOLD FOR EACH SIDE OF THE TREK, Malak would recognize his colors as being of the Galorum army. Old enemies of Aeterumia, during the war. But to Malak, that was old news. Yesterday’s enemy was today’s ally and all that.

With a wooden leg and a confident demeanor, Arryn, as he introduces himself to the party and they back to him, appeared to be the kinda guy who just hopes for work. And work he finds as the party accept him on this long journey, to guide them and keep them from walking off the path.

It pretty quickly sets in on the team just how hot it can be in the desert. And the air itself was so thick. Extra THICK, even! It felt like there was led in the air or some thing at later evenings they’d spend out in the open. Temperatures being like under a blanket, but also nasty and humid.

The guide would mention it being left over bad energy from the war. The area is inflicted with the worst vibes. The vibes that took Arryn’s leg.

Days would pass. Weeks even as the group advanced through the dunes, past hills and rocks and rocks and small mountains around them, generally peacefully, with the exclusion of any foul business. Sure enough, Arryn was a trusted guide through these parts, getting them through the sands, to some more solid areas of rock and gravel.

The walk was a lot more even and paced from there, with the obvious dunes carrying on in the distance, but something would catch the travelers’ attention. Bones. They’d see lots of bones. Almost like a trail of them, leading to this sheer clear cliff face.

Investigating them, Malak would note that they were weirdly in tact, some of them. Dead and untouched. But there’s kind of a little curve around the corner, where the bone trail leads… He’d pick up a skull and cast “Speak With Dead”

“EYY!” the awoken skull would commence.

And the questions and answers would begin.

1. “How did you die?”- “Well, I was walking, right? And then there was this hot and cold stuff. And then it was just everywhere and it was really hot? And there was this big flappy beast behind me.”

2. What were you doing out here?” “Me and my friends were following a trail of bones and figured whatever did this’gotta be guarding some good shit.”

3. “Were you being guided by a peg legged man?” –“No, we didn’t get a guide. We thought it was a waste of treasure and had to share.”

4. “Did you have anything on you?” “I mean, we had our weapons and armor.”

5. “Is there anyone you’d like informed?” – “If me mate Chaz made it, he’s probably back at Havik by now.”

With the air of life leaving the skull, Malak would update the crew on his findings. From there, Jun would elect to poke the distracted Bard and suggest she send Orion to investigate the inner sanctum of the bone yard.

Orion slinks off and his body shrinks into the size of a normal cat, much to Belli’s amusement and the rest’s shock and awe.

He sneaks around the corner. Belli looks through his eyes. What happens is that he turns the corner and there’s this huge mammoth bone. Think elephant graveyard. He walks under that and he does a perceive... He steps out into the open, looks back where he came from and then Belli notices that the ground gets further away.

A pause. And poof. He’s gone.

Mournimar sneaks in, next, with a rope around his waist and careful maneuvering, feeling unseen as he makes his way through the yard, while Malak casts Aid on Arryn and the ladies. As the low armored part of the team.

With a careful eye, Mournimar sees the source of all these corpses. And as the Rogueish Ranger would raise his head up, the others would follow suit. And sea an Adult Blue Dragon, staring confusedly at his clawed mits, wondering where his quick little meal went. A great big fuck off blue dragon.

Electing to avoid a fight with the dragon, for now, the group would carefully maneuver their way back to the carriage and do a big twist to avoid being directly seen by the dragon as they’d carry on and cross a river, along the way..

One evening, during shifts, Luctan taking the first... the disguised tiefling would wake Jun and ask her for her presense during his watch. The two would hold a private conversation, regarding Jun’s offer to hear him out, where they’d discuss the matter of trust, personal insecurities and pain, the understanding of pain and treatment of pain... Capping things off with a genuine interest in learning how to carry on, after a tragedy, something which the unmasked red tiefling had trouble getting to terms with.

By the end of the 1st watch, Luctan and Jun would come to an understanding and carry on with talks when the time allowed it. But until then, Luck would wake Mournimar to follow through with the second sentry outlook, while he rested.

Mournimar’s watch would be uneventful, compared to what had occured in his dreams... Something he’d share with Belli, when the first signs of morning would come up.

The enthusiastic cook would poke for information, which the Tiefling Ranger would share, regailing Belli with a tale of his dream, wherein he was visited, or more like... found himself in Jorzoth’s office. One of the Archdevils had brought him in for a 1 on 1 pow-wow, where in he’d inform the archer of Lazarus’ intentions with the duelist.

Lazarus had intened, through this duel, for Mournimar to best his contractor as a means to check in on his ex.

...

To say that this is a weird way of checking on your ex, would be an understatement. And yet, that was the story he’d tell, through bites of an omlette.

In Mournimar’s own words, the break up and Potencia really changed him. Lazarus? He’s someone in need of praise. He used to be good and he was never like this before Potencia. There were... clear regrets there, in Mournimar’s mind and heart.

But Belli would protest to this thinking as you can’t change someone, who doesn’t want to change. While Mournimar doesn’t want him to be like how Mournimar was as a child, Belli reminds her friend that Lazarus is an adult, It’s his choice to make.

Breakfast is had amongst the group and Arryn remarks that this is the best hospitality he’s had. Ever.

From there? They’d venture forth and Malak tries to call Chaz. With a D100 he Sends a message to the dude. He gives him the full story, as best as possible. Chaz is sad, but the funeral was done already. He regets the nasty stuff he’s said over the year. But is greatful. Godspeed!

Drawing near to a river, Luctan would give Belli her pot. Like. Literal pot that had been in his posession for about a month now, give or take. Within one of the ceramic pots there were 10 silver ball bearings, each spelling a letter in Belli’s name.

And in turn, Belli would give Luck 5 smoke bombs. And she’d even show him her stash of a variety of bombs. Which she had been planning on using with the help of Orion as a dive bomber.

Stupified by his friend’s madcap ideas, Luck would be quiet for the most part during the next part of the journey as they’d cross over the river on a bridge and go through a town, populated by kobolds of different scales.

Initially weary of the group, they’d soon enough relax and observe, even follow them along as the party carried on through the town, when Malak appied his knowledge of the Draconic tongue, holding a friendly conversation with the locals, while Luck used his Prestidigitation to create funny images and smells for the kids.

As the town of Odum generally doesn’t generally get visitors, the party are kind of a treat to them. Through the talk, a kind of friendship forms with the Kobold settlement and the party learn that the dragon of the desert was quite the nasty one. Every time they’d send someone over to check what his demeanor was, they’d have to send another one, to check as well, because no one ever came back.

Mental note.

In the midst of this conversation, Jun would make friends with two of the littlest kobold kids, who’d climb on her and ask her all kinds of questions. Like why her face was the way it was. She’d happily use her shapeshifting power to appear like a Golden Dragonborn, much to the kids’ amusment.

With friendship in their heardts, the party would eventually carry on, venturing forth! Arryn would warn them that the next week is just gonna be desert. There’s a lake at some point, but that’s our lot.

While the week’s travel carries on, Belli shows off her vocal skills as she speaks in a few new languages she had picked. Among which was Dwarven, much to Luck’s shock. And frustration. ‘cause it took him 3 years to learn that on his own!

(”What? Like it’s hard.”)

Arryn, however, upon hearing Belli speak in Dwarven turns pale. When asked if he’s ok, the half-dwarf would reveal that anyone’d be shocked on hearing a nearly dead language.

In one day the dwarves and dragonborn in the area died off. Green evil magic took then down. Arryn survived, because he is part human. Malak knows this to be the effect of the Blight spell, but on a major level.

Jun suggests Steamroot to help with the pain. Her partner was hit with that spell and it had helped manage that. Arryn’s greatful for the suggestion.

They’d venture forth, once more, parallel to the main road. Mournimar asks about why we’re not on the main road. Bad things, ghosts, appear on the main road. Ghosts of the Dragonborn, particularly dangerous spirits. Spirits are his expertise and avoiding them is where the expertise is at.

One particular night, deep into their expedition, Arryn asks them over a warm evening meal where exactly they were headed. Not to Tutum itself, right?

The party reveal some of what they’re after, but that seems to be more than enough for Arryn to put 2 and 2 together.

“Of course, it’d make sense for them to eventually send someone to clean their tracks.” he’d remark, which in turn would push the party to question him on what he meant.

Arryn would say that it was never confirmed, but implied that the Council was involved in what happened to the dwarves and dragonborn. According to him, as he’d elaborate on events from the battle, as he was a soldier at the time, two dragons were in on the plan. One was dragged off to Guan and the other slain by the King’s Blade, which was burried within the tomb, onward.

Before anyone can stop her, a furious Belli’d send a message to River, demanding answers that she wasn’t even sure of the Halfling would have.

A hurt River would reply back with as much as she claimed to know, which was that this was a private job being done for a benefactor she couldn’t disclose. Upset, she’d question if Belli mistrusted her now?!

A debate is held on how to proceed.

Ultimately, the party agree to go talk to the sword and get the facts straight. From there they’d see where they’d go..

Arryn would remark with surprise on how quickly they’d trust what he had to say had any truth to it.

As the journey continued, they’d avoid the ghost town. Like. Town of ghosts. And keep going and going to a cave with funky carving.

There are carvings of a Tiefling with a big, big chonky sword. Fighting a dragon. An outline of an army that kind of fades and half of them disappear...

Underneath this is this really fine intricate dwarven lettering and runes. As we get to the shrine, we end the session.

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avengerscompound · 5 years

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The B-List Avenger - 2

The B-List Avenger: A Hawkeye Fanfic

Series Masterlist // PREVIOUS

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing: Clint Barton x F!Reader

Word Count: 2694

Rating: E

Warnings: Action, Injuries, Angst, Pregnancy, Smut (vaginal sex)

Synopsis: After an explosion in your building, it’s up to Hawkeye to get you and your daughter to safety. There might be worst ways to get to know someone.

Chapter 2: Upstate New York

You were in the hospital for two weeks. In that time your mother flew in from out of town to take care of Alexis. You had received significant bruising on your spine that was exacerbated by the amount of time it took you to run to the evac point. The leg injury had required sixteen stitches.

Most of your friends had been affected by the sudden attack by HYDRA too so apart from when your mother brought Alexis around to see you, you didn’t have any visitors. That is, except for Clint Barton.

Clint had come in a day after you were admitted looking like he hadn’t been shot at all. You knew for a fact that he had. You’d seen wound with your own two eyes.

“Avenger’s get the good insurance.” He’d said when you’d asked about it.

Every day for two weeks he came in to see how you were doing. Sometimes he was there when your mother was visiting with Alexis. When that happened Alexis was just obsessed with him. He took it with good humor. Letting her climb in his lap and held conversations with her like she was a full-grown adult and not a one-year-old.

Your mom was developing quite the crush. If Clint was there when she was, she always spoke animatedly with him and praised him for how good he was with Alexis. Or for saving your life. Or for just general Avengers things. If he wasn’t she took to speaking about him to you. How cute he was. How great it was that he kept stopping by. How he looked like he’d be such a good father.

It would be annoying, and you tried very hard to pretend it was, except that you thought the same thing. He was cute. And hilarious. And he was really amazing with Alexis. Not to mention his arms were amazing. You really, really wanted this to not just be him taking pity on you.

Only the signals were as mixed as if they’d been put through a blender. When it was just the two of you he’d respond to flirting like it was a second language that he spoke fluently. Always knowing just the thing to say that would make your mouth dry and other parts of you much moister. If Alexis was around though he flicked between being potential future husband candidate of the year, laughing at your mother’s jokes, being affectionate and caring to your daughter and smiling and joking with you. Or he was all business-like he’d stopped by out of some moral obligation and had no desire to even make friends with you.

On the day before you were due to be released, he came to see you while you were alone.

“Checking out tomorrow?” He asks, leaning in the doorway of your room.

“Yeah. The doctors said I still need to take it easy. I’m not allowed to pick Lexi up for another month.” You explain. “Also, I don’t actually have a home anymore. Or a job. So that’s gonna be fun.”

Clint grimaces and walks over, sitting on the end of your bed. “What are you gonna do?”

“I’m gonna go back home and live with mom until I get back on my feet. It’s pretty shit. But there’s not much I can do about it.” You answer.

Clint looks crestfallen. His shoulders slump and he looks down at his hands. “Where does your mom live?”

“Upstate New York.” You answer, poking him with your foot.

He looks up at you with a smile on his face. “That’s where I live.”

“I know it is. It’s a little hard to miss.” You say.

“How far away?” He asks.

You chew your lip and look at him. “Like two towns over. Maybe half an hour or so? Forty-five minutes tops.”

He scoots a little closer to you. “So you think we could hang out sometime?”

“I’d really like that.” You agree.

It’s another couple of weeks before you see him again. You were busy having to talk with insurance people, buying clothes and settle down into a new routine. Alexis was pretty thrilled to be spending so much time with Grandma. She’s even more thrilled when Clint shows up to pick you up for your first date.

“Cwint. Cwint. Come.” She squeals as she stands at the end of the hall bouncing up and down on her chubby little legs.

“Hey, kiddo. Just give me a minute to say hi to your mom.” He says, kissing your cheek. “You look beautiful.”

“Looking pretty good yourself, Barton.” You say. Which is not a lie. He’s wearing a suit that’s color isn’t quite gray and it isn’t quite blue. It doesn’t quite fit him right, but just something about him in it makes you want to get him out of it.

He follows Alexis to her bedroom where she shows him all the new toys that have been bought for her since the move. He lets her show him everything before ruffling her hair and telling her he is taking you out. She doesn’t take it well. Almost immediately breaking down into tears and throwing herself on the ground.

“Aww… kid. You’re killing me.” Clint says, crouching down beside her and patting her back. “Tell you what, next time we can all go out.”

That doesn’t help. At all. She just becomes more hysterical. Thankfully your mom comes and saves the day. Taking her into the living room to watch TV while you escape with Clint.

“I’m so sorry. I think after the incident, she’s gotten really attached to you.” You say as you follow him out to the car. It’s a lavender Volkswagen Beetle. You try not to look as surprised as you feel about him driving it.

“That’s what we’re calling it? The incident?” Clint asks as he opens the door for you.

“I don’t really know what else to call it.” You say when he climbs into the driver’s side.

“The incident is fine,” Clint says. “And don’t worry about Lexi. I always say that I hate kids. But I think actually …” He trails off and groans.

You turn to look at him as he drives. “What’s wrong?” You ask.

He whines. “Can’t talk about deep stuff.”

“Does dating someone with a kid scare you?” You ask.

“Yes.” He whines. “But only marginally more than getting serious with anyone. I’m not good at it.”

You start to nervously strum your fingers on your leg. “Clint. I’m not trying to push you into anything that you’re not ready for…”

He grabs your hand and holds it still. “You don’t have to say it. I’ve told myself it a million times now. You can’t lead this chick on. She has a kid and you and your fuckin’ problems with … whatever … will hurt them both. I like you though. A lot. I get it if I’m too high risk, but if you could give me a chance.”

“Is the ‘whatever’ intimacy issues?” You ask, linking your fingers with his.

He nods his head.

“If you do this and they get the better of you, you’ll break both our hearts you know?”

He nods again. “I know. I can’t promise it won’t. I can’t even promise we won’t break up for other reasons. I just feel like maybe I can do it with you. In a way, I haven’t with anyone else.” He lets go of your hand and runs it through his hair. “Normally when I think about someone I … like or whatever…” He shakes his head. “Even if it’s just for a one-time thing. I have an expiry date in my head. One night. Two weeks and three days. Six months and she cuts up most of my clothes. With you, I don’t see a time.”

You sigh and turn and bite his shoulder. “How serious are you about trying?” You ask.

“Pretty serious.” He says. “Maybe I should grow up a little.”

“Just a little though.” You tease. “Would you consider going to therapy?”

“Aww… therapy?” He whines. He pulls the car into the parking lot of a steakhouse and looks at you. His blue eyes doing that sad puppy thing. “Yeah. I guess I could probably use it, given I don’t sleep.”

“Alright. If you’re willing to do that I’m willing to try. I do have one more question though.” You say.

“Yeah?” He says sounding nervous.

“How do you feel about putting out on the first date?” You ask.

He smirks and squeezes your leg. “I am in favor of it.”

“That’s good because I am dying to get laid.” You joke.

Dinner goes fine. He really does have a way of putting you at ease even when he’s slightly panicked and overthinking everything. After dinner, he takes you up to a lookout that looks over the town and takes in some forest and the Avengers compound in the distance.

You sit side by side holding hands, your head resting on his shoulder and his cheek on your head. “It’s really beautiful up here.” You sigh.

“Yeah.” Clint agrees. “I always see things best from high up.”

“I think they call that being far-sighted.” You tease. “You can get glasses to correct it.”

Clint digs his fingers in your sides. “You think you’re so funny.” He snarks, as you squirm away from him.

At some point his hands move from your side to your back, pulling you tightly against him. You wrap your arms around his neck and you’re kissing before you even know what’s happening. It’s hungry and desperate. You claw at each, bite at each other’s lips. Your tongues swirl together and explore each other’s mouths.

His hands move down to your hips, dragging you closer and then up under your skirt. You break the kiss panting. “We should - we should go somewhere - less public.” You pant.

Clint teases along the line of your panties. “You sure about that?”

You whine a little and nod. “Pretty sure.”

“Your place or mine.” He asks, helping you to your feet.

“We gonna have a sleepover?” You ask as you head to the car.

He falters for a moment and you watch as the gears turn behind his eyes. “Yeah. Yep. Sleepover. That’s what couples do.”

You pause at the door and look at him. “Clint?”

“No. It’s good. I want this.” He says with a smile.

You laugh and shake your head before getting in the car. “My place then.”

As soon as you’re back at your mom’s house you’re all over each other. He kisses at your throat and tugs up your skirt. You somehow manage to get through the door and he pushes you through it and up against the wall. Your hip bangs the side table by the door and the vase sitting on it tips over with a clatter.

“Shh… Clint.” You whisper. “You need to be quiet.”

“That’s going to be a problem for you. You’re not going to be able to stay quiet.” He whispers back.

You drag him into your room. “Because I’ll be laughing so hard?” You tease.

He pushes the door closed and pulls his shirt off before wrapping you in his arms. “Such a smart ass.” He smirks, unzipping your dress. He pushes it down off your arms and you start to kiss again. Moving slowly towards the bed, shedding each piece of clothing one by one. He picks you up just before you reach the bed and tosses you on it.

You move back and he stalks up after you placing slow deep kisses up the insides of your legs. When he reaches your inner thigh he’s pulling your soft flesh into his mouth and sucking on it hard enough to leave small bruises. His nuzzles at your pussy and you spread wider for him. He flattens his tongue and swipes it up your folds before placing a large open mouth kiss over them. His tongue swirls around, tasting everything it can reach and he pulls back sucking your clit into his mouth.

Your hips buck up. “Holy shit.” You hiss. He smiles up at you and rolls his tongue over your clit.

You arch back tilting your hips up to his face. His fingers tease at your entrance before he thrusts them into you. You gasp clenching around his digits. He finds your g-spot almost instantly like he’s targeted onto it and when his fingers push against it he curls them like he’s beckoning someone to him.

He fucks you with his fingers as his tongue continues to work your clit. It isn’t long before you’re a whimpering mess under him. Trying to keep quiet as your legs shake and your core muscles clench. You pull his hair and clutch at the sheets as you completely come undone. Your orgasm hits you hard. You twist under him, trying to escape it as it surges through you and you drag your pillow down to your face crying out into it.

He strokes you through it and then reaches for his pants, pulling his wallet free. You take the pillow off your face and watch as he pulls a condom out of it.

“You think you were getting lucky tonight?” You ask sitting up and taking it from him.

“If the boy scouts taught me anything it was always come prepared.” He says smirking.

“Nice pun,” you say, tearing the packet open. “But it’s ‘be prepared’.” He starts laughing and you put the condom between your lips and crouch down placing the condom over the head of his cock and using your mouth to roll it in place. He lets out a strangled moan and his hands bunch in your hair. You bob your head a few times, loving the sound of his soft moans, but he takes your jaw in his hand and guides you up to him. Kissing you hard and pushing you back into the mattress.

You feel his cock press on your entrance as he lines himself up with you and with a roll of his hips, he sinks into your cunt. You both groan as he fills you and you adjust to him. He starts to thrust. You wrap your legs around him, linking your ankles at the small of his back.

He kisses down your throat to your breast sucking your nipple into your mouth. Your hands roam his skin, running your fingertips up his back at a feather touch before digging them into his firm biceps.

Your skin prickles and flushes with heat. “Oh fuck, Clint.” You groan as you feel the pressure of your orgasm weighs you down.

“Me too.” He groans.

His fingers dig into you, he picks up his pace and you come. You arch up and just as you let out a cry his mouth is on yours smothering it. You each moan into the kiss as you find your release.

He comes inside of you, you close your eyes and focus on the pulse of his cock as he empties. For a moment you just stay like that kissing, as the last of your orgasms shudder through you.

“Fuck.” You sigh as he slips from inside of you and rolls off. “I needed that so badly.”

Clint salutes you. “Happy to be of service, ma’am.”

You go clean up together and dress, you in flannel pajamas with dogs on them, him in his boxers, before climbing into bed. You rest your head on his shoulder and he wraps both arms around you. “Just a little warning. I sleep like shit.” He says, pressing his lips to your forehead.

“That’s okay. I’ll sleep through the TV if you turn it on. Just keep it down for my mom.” You say, closing your eyes.

You fall asleep quickly, cuddled up to him. In the morning you wake as the sun comes through the curtains. Clint is deep asleep on his side facing you and sprawled out on her back between you is Alexis.

“I’m doomed.” You sigh, pressing a kiss to your daughter’s forehead and closing your eyes again.

// NEXT

#clint barton #clint barton x reader #hawkeye #hawkeye fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #reader insert #smut #b-list avenger #upstate new york

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azritesx3 · 4 years

Text

“A Devil’s Love” Chapter 4: I Shall Be Your Nurse

Description: Chloe’s best friend is back, and Lucifer’s charm can’t seem to affect her either. Is she also a miracle child? Or something…more? [Story starts during S2 Ep4, Female Reader Insert]

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AN: Updated March 14, 2020 - Grammar AN: Updated July 15, 2020 - Grammar

Rating: Teen Warning[s]: Swearing

Show Timeline: Season 2 after episode 11

Spotify Playlist /// AO3 Fanfiction Net Wattpad DeviantArt

Tag List: @ayanna-wild, @anushay1998, @emiwrites3reads, @i-am-canada-13, @heart-of-pots-and-pans, @tinyybiceps, @jessicarene99, @lucifersnipnips, @givemebooksorgivemedeath, @sailor-earth-1

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The Goddess of all creation stood in the shadows of her son's nightclub parking garage. She had been waiting for hours, but it would have been hours well spent.

How can she compare waiting a few measly human hours to having her Lightbringer back home? Up in the Heavens where he belonged.

For her to have her family back.

The Goddess watched as Lucifer pulled into his parking space. To her disappointment, he led her target up the elevator with him. That's fine. What're a couple more minutes?

But those minutes turned into a few more hours before her prey exited the elevator. Alone.

It's impossible to explain the excitement flowing through the Goddess.

She opened the cap to the trigger, and-

"Mother!"

The Goddess whirled on her heels to come face to face with her son, Amenadiel.

"What are you doing, Mother?"

"I'm about to eliminate the problem that is keeping Lucifer here!"

"What problem?" The Goddess motioned her son's attention to her prey, who now talked on her phone.

Her son's eyes went wide when he saw the trigger, "Mother no! You can't kill her!" He went to grab the trigger, but the Goddess ran back, "Mother, Lucifer will stop at nothing to find out who killed her, and if he finds out it was you-"

"But why?!" The Goddess could not help the desperation that escaped her voice, "She's just a human! Humans die! How could he want to stay here with them?! With her!"

"It's more than just her keeping him here, Mother. This will accomplish nothing."

Her son dashed at her. The two fought briefly, with her as the winner as she threw her son far from her.

She picked up the trigger, spun on her heel to see her prey looking back at her approaching Lightbringer and--

And an explosion went off.

The second son came up to her and looked on in horror at the scene playing before him.

"Mother, how could you?!"

But instead of pure joy from a job well done, the Goddess’s face was scrunched in confusion. She held up her trigger, which had yet to be pushed down.

"I didn't do that."

-----------------------------------------------------------

Darkness.

Always darkness.

You knew it. Everything. Everyone. It was too good to be true.

You could never escape. He was right.

You try to move, but feel that your body is tied down.

Of course it is. Time for more punishment.

But...something's different. You're laying on your back. He usually laid you on your stomach. He only did punishment on your back, where evidence of your crime, your betrayal, lay.

Did he finally damage your back enough? Was he going for the front now? Maybe he thinks that if he damages your whole body it'll change His mind.

You don't believe it. Nothing changes His mind.

You start to hear some...beeping? The more you hear it the more panicked you become.

What is he going to do to me?

As the beeping grows louder and more frequent you start to hear the voices, but these voices sound different from what you were used to.

Her heartbeat is rising too high! She's entering a panicked state! Get her in the room now!

You feel the table under you start to move then stop. Then there were hands on you and needles entering you.

The beeping grew.

The voices began to shout.

Sir! You can't be in here! Sir, you must leave! We're trying to save her life! Security!

But then all the voices cease, and you feel a warmth. You see a light in the darkness break through.

"Earth."

That voice...so familiar. So warm.

"My father isn't allowed to have you yet. Come back, darling. You're safe. I promise."

The warmth starts at your hand and spreads throughout your body. You run towards that warmth, that light.

"Open your eyes, love."

You slowly open your eyes. You have to blink a few times to adjust. Once you do you see you're in a room. A normal-looking room. With monitors, wires, a window, even a TV.

You see frightened faces in front of you, but to your right you see that warmth. That light.

"Hello, darling." The light smiles at you.

You try to smile back, but your face hurts, and you can feel something over your nose and mouth.

"Thank you for coming back to me, love. Now rest. I'll be here when you wake fully." The light squeezes your hand gently, and you succumb to its command.

Unknown to you, that light looks to the doctor and nurses and turns bitterly cold.

"Save her. I don't believe I have to say what will happen if you don't."

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Lucifer refused to leave the hospital until the doctor assured him that you were stable. It took a while, but Alice convinced him that she would call him as soon as any sign of you waking up showed.

Before he left, though, he made sure that you would be well protected.

"I have a job, Lucifer."

"Yes, well you're still pledged to me, despite your betrayal with my brother."

"You're still on that?"

"Protect K9 until I punish the pathetic human that tried to end her life."

"I am a bounty hunter. I can find this guy quicker-"

"No. Look Maze," Lucifer put his hands on his demon's shoulders, "you are the only one that I can trust to actually keep her safe."

Maze looks the Devil in the eyes, sighs and rolls them, "Fine."

"Wonderful. Now, let me introduce you to the lovely Ms. Green!"

As if on cue, Alice returns to your hospital door with vending machine goodies in hand, "Oh, hello!" She places her snacks on a chair, "You must be Maze! Lucifer told me to expect you."

Alice holds out her hand, but instead of shaking it Maze looks her up and down, taking in her floral dress.

"Um," Alice awkwardly retracts her hand, "Earth told me about your skills at that 'girls night'. Very impressive!" She fidgets with her fingers, "I agree with Lucifer. You're the best option to make sure this bomber doesn't get near her again."

"Well, I must be off." Lucifer waves behind him as he walks away, "The Detective needs my help to find the bastard. Ta-ta!"

"Sooo," Alice motions her snacks to Maze, "Want to raid my snack chair?"

Maze huffs.

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"What are you saying, Detective?"

"It's out of my hands."

"How could you?!"

"Lucifer-" Chloe looks around them and sees that their conversation was starting to attract attention. She pulls Lucifer into the forensic lab, knowing that Ella was still at the site.

"How could you do nothing?!" Lucifer shouts at her when the door shuts.

"It's not by choice, Lucifer! The FBI took this case over, and I can't do anything unless called upon."

"But she's-"

"I know, Lucifer! You don't think I'm upset too?!" Chloe's frustration clearly shows on her face, as well as the angry tears she kept in her eyes, "My best friend almost died, and I'm being forced to keep my hands off of it! I can't do anything!"

"Well I, for one, am not going to let anyone tell me what I can and can't do. I'll find this scum myself and do my own judgment."

"Lucifer!" But the door has already slammed shut on her.

The next couple of days Lucifer spent texting Maze and Alice, who seemed to be getting along fantastically. He also hired more guards and, despite the FBI agent telling him not to, he opens LUX back up. He received a couple of texts and calls from Chloe, but he ignored them.

He was currently searching for a new car for you when Alice called him.

"Doctor says she'll be up in a couple of hours!"

"I'm on my way."

Lucifer's on his feet and in his car faster than any human, of course. He first drives to the nearest florist and gets a dozen roses of various colors. He then goes to his favorite sweet shop and gets a box of chocolates.

He parks in the visitors spot and takes long strides to your hospital room. He smiles as he opens your door, but when he sees who's in the room his smile slightly dips.

"Detective?"

"Hey, Lucifer." She gives him a confused look at his expression, "What? You didn't think I wouldn't want to be here when she wakes up?"

"No, of course not." He brushes past her and gives nods of hello to Maze and Alice. He places the vase of roses on the table next to the window and keeps the chocolates in his coat pocket.

Chloe eyes the roses and hums to herself.

"Alright now, darling." Lucifer holds onto your left hand and looks at your face, "You've slept long enough. Time to wake up."

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You wake up in the darkness for a second time.

But this time the light is already here, waiting for you.

Your body feels...good. Well, different from how punishments usually go. The light reminds you, however, that this wasn't a punishment. That you hadn't imagined everyone. They were real, and they were waiting.

You open your eyes.

"Welcome back, love." Lucifer smiles warmly at you.

You give him a small smile back and look around you.

"Hey there, girl." Chloe takes the seat to your right and holds your hand. She's smiling, and you see the wetness in her eyes.

"Welcome back, Ms." Alice stands at the foot of your hospital bed, gripping the railings tightly to keep her emotions in check. You see Maze standing behind her in the shadows, but even there you can see the sparkle in her eyes. She's happy too.

You try to sit up and speak, but all that comes out is grunts. Lucifer gets you a glass of water for your dry throat and Chloe helps you sit up.

"Hey guys." You smile at the room after you down the water.

"There she is! Glad to see you haven't forgotten about us, K9." Lucifer smiles, teeth and all, at you.

"How are you feeling?" Chloe squeezes your hand slightly and looks concerned.

"Better. A lot better. What exactly happened?" You look back and forth between Chloe and Lucifer.

"Someone put a bomb under your car." Chloe starts explaining when Lucifer refuses to speak, "That's all I know. The FBI took over the investigation. Even Ella can't tell me anything about what she finds at the site."

"No one else got hurt, right?" You ask her, then turn to Lucifer, "You're ok right? You were there when…"

"No one else got hurt, and yes I'm fine." Lucifer gives you a small smile and squeezes your hand.

Chloe looks between the two of you, heart constricting. Her phone ringing snaps her out of the feeling, "Excuse me." She leaves the room and answers her phone.

"Try to get back on your feet soon, Earth." Alice playfully slaps your covered feet, "The clinic is all ready to go. Just waiting on you to cut the ribbon to officially open."

"Can't miss that!" You wink at her and she laughs.

"Your crew from the precinct and at the clinic wrote some cards for you. You even got one from the team back in NY." Alice points over to the table, but your sight becomes fixated on the vase of roses.

"Since you're up now I'm leaving. I got humans to catch." Maze starts to walk out the door.

"Thank you for being here, Maze!" Alice smiles at her. Maze looks at Lucifer and he gives her a nod, then she's gone.

"You're going to get hungry soon. Let me see what the hospital has for food, and I have to let the doctors know you're fully awake now." Alice waves at you then leaves the room.

"They're mine."

You blink at Lucifer, "What?"

"The roses." He gives you a sly grin, "I noticed you staring."

"They are beautiful. How'd you know roses are my favorite? I don't remember telling you that last night."

"Three nights ago actually, darling."

"...What?"

"You've been asleep for three days. Almost four."

"Oh…"

Lucifer squeezes your hand and smiles at you, trying to brighten you back up, "To answer your question, I asked Ms. Green. It seems a tradition for you humans to give flowers to those in the hospital. I wanted to make sure I got the right ones."

"Hmm," you hum at him, and decide to brighten up for him, "Well, actually, they still might not be right."

"...Pardon?" He was confused now.

"Do they still have their thorns?"

He looks between you and the flowers. Eyebrow raised, he stands and walks over to the vase. He takes out a red rose and inspects it.

"...They do not."

"Ah, damn." You snap your fingers in that "oh drat" manner, "I like my roses with thorns still on them." You raise your hand to him and press your index finger and thumb together, but with them barely touching, "So close."

He laughs at your sarcastic smile, "Pray tell, why do they need the thorns to be perfect for you, darling?"

"I like to think of them as 'beauty on the outside, danger on the inside', the opposite of the original saying. If you run up and pluck a rose from its bush you're likely to get pricked." You shrug, "Beauty isn't everything. You have to know what's inside too."

Lucifer hums in response, but looks at the rose, not you. He then comes back to your left side and smiles, "I see, but if they still have the thorns you couldn't do this." He puts the rose behind your left ear and pulls the stem around to your other ear. He sits down and holds your chin with his index and thumb.

"Beautiful." He smiles. You're stunned silent and probably as red as a fire hydrant. It didn't help that your heart monitor started beeping more rapidly.

You hear a cough and knock on your door and see Chloe standing in the doorframe, looking.

"Chloe!" You pull away from Lucifer and shove the rose under your hospital blanket. You tried to ignore the disappointing grunt that came from him, "How was your phone call?" You ask too loudly.

"Bad news for you, I'm afraid." She comes back to your right side, "That was the FBI agent in charge of this case. He's coming over now that you're awake. He has questions for you." She rubs your hand, "I tried to tell him that you just woke up and to come back tomorrow, but-"

"It's ok, Chloe." You pat her hand, "I'd rather get this done and over with."

"I'm back! And not with good food." Alice holds up a tray of that typical hospital food to everyone.

"Which is why I bought this!" Lucifer pulls out the box of chocolates and smiles devilishly.

"Lucifer, she just woke up! I highly doubt the doctor wants the first thing in her stomach to be chocolate." Chloe rolls her eyes at the man.

"It's alright, Chlo. I can suffer a bit more." You smile at her as you take the box from him and open it up to everyone, "I'll probably need this energy for that agent anyways."

For the next hour you, Lucifer, Chloe, and Alice share the food and chocolate while talking about various things. The doctor finally comes in to check up on you, and that's when the agent knocks on the door.

"Hello, Ms. Earth. I'm Agent Monroe." The man comes to stand beside Chloe and holds his hand out to you.

"Hello, Agent Monroe." You shake his hand.

Chloe stands and offers her hand, "I'm Detective Decker. I'm who you spoke with on the phone."

"Detective Decker." He shakes Chloe's hand.

Chloe motions to Lucifer, "And this is Lucifer-"

"Oh, I know who this chap is." Lucifer looks completely uninterested, "He's the one who told me to keep my club closed until this was over."

"And I see you took my warning in stride, Mr. Morningstar." Lucifer smiles at the man and pops a chocolate in his mouth.

"This is Alice Green. My business partner." You motion over to Alice and Monroe shakes her hand.

"I'm sorry I couldn't give you more time to recover Ms., but I feel it's best to let you know now what we have found and how we'd like you to go forward."

"Oh?" You look questionably at him.

"First let me start with the questions," he pulls out a notepad and pen from his suit coat, "Who, do you know, could have been around your car that night?"

"I gave my keys to the LUX valet. Other than him I don't know. Various clubbers I'm sure."

"And you've already interrogated my worker." Lucifer comments.

"Do you know anyone who could hold a grudge against you?" Monroe continues, ignoring Lucifer's comment.

You stayed quiet.

"Ms.?"

"Um, no. I don't believe so. Besides, I don't really see this as an attack on me."

Everyone stares at you now.

Oops.

"Ms. Earth," Monroe puts his notepad back in his coat and holds his hands together in front of him, "We have evidence to believe that this was an attack on your life." Chloe and Lucifer look at him. Alice's eyes remain on yours.

"What kind of evidence?" Chloe asks.

"The first sweep of the area we found only one bomb and it was attached to Ms. Earth's car." He speaks to Chloe, "No other bombs were found in the area. We even checked every car parked."

"I ordered a final sweep," he looks back to you, "and we did find another bomb, but this one hadn't been activated by a trigger. It was activated when the first bomb went off."

"Well if you found another bomb then-"

"Ms. Earth." He raises a hand to interrupt you, "That second bomb was also found on your vehicle, and it was of different make than the first one."

"Are you saying that-"

"Yes." He interrupts Chloe and stares hard at you, "Ms., I believe you were targeted by two different parties that night."

"What?!" Both Lucifer and Chloe gasp at the man. You immediately feel light-headed and start to sink into your bed. Alice rushes over to your right and helps to hold you upright. When Lucifer notices he stands to help raise you on your left.

"Mr. Morningstar, I'm going to need all security footage of the parking garage for that night, as well as a couple of nights before. Ms. Earth, I highly advise you to stay at one of our safety bunkers to keep a low profile."

"No." You take a shaky breath in and out, then stare at him with force, "I'm not going to let these people control my life. I will go home to rest, then continue my life like normal."

"Ms., that's not-"

"I don't care." You silence him, "It's what I want and it's what I'm going to do."

"If I may," your doctor, who had been standing in the hall waiting for the agent to finish, knocks on your door, "you'll need someone to take care of you for a few days. You are healing remarkably well, but someone should be with you to help you walk and apply the medication."

"You can stay with me, Earth. Trixie would love to be a nurse for you, considering how she's already worried about you."

"No no. You've already got Maze. Besides, I'd feel like I'd be putting you guys at risk."

"We're only a couple of doors down from each other." Alice chips in, "You can have your space and just call me when you need help."

"The lives of those in the building would be at risk." Monroe points out, "It's not a hard thing to bomb a small apartment building like that."

"It's settled then!" Lucifer claps his hands and looks like a kid on Christmas, "I shall be your nurse in my humble abode!"

Oh no. No no no.

"That does seem like your best option Ms. Earth. If you wish to continue your life and heal outside of this hospital, Mr. Morningstar's club is a smart idea. We've no reason to believe the attackers wish to harm anyone besides you, but that could be different if you were in a building with a dozen people versus a hundred. It'd be much more difficult to bomb that entire building, as well."

"Plus I've doubled my guard, and my walk-in shower has a seat for you to comfortably wash yourself." Lucifer gives you his flirtatious smile and wiggles his eyebrows.

Out of the corner of your eye you believe you see, and possibly feel, daggers coming out of Chloe.

Fuck.

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Lucifer left the room to call ahead his security team to have the footage ready for Agent Monroe. The agent bid you farewell and gave you his number in case you thought of anything. Alice left next after you forced her to go home and get some rest.

Chloe stayed behind.

"Are you sure you're going to be ok?" Chloe helps you get dressed and sit with your legs dangling over the bed, waiting for the release papers.

"Now that I'm stuck with him for a few days, nope."

Chloe chuckles softly and wraps an arm around your shoulder, "My offer still stands."

"And so does my reasoning." You sigh into Chloe's touch, "If there's someone, or multiple someones, after me I don't want to put your family at risk. Agent Monroe is right. These people probably don't mind if a couple of innocents get in the way."

Chloe's silent for a while, "Hey, um. Are you and Lucifer…?"

"Nope. No way. Not even in the slightest."

"Then...why did you go out with him?"

"I only agreed to the outing because Lucifer wanted it as repayment for him giving me that construction company. Apparently, helping to save his home wasn't enough." You turn towards her and look her in the eyes, "It was not a date. I swear, Chloe. In fact, I also agreed to it to make sure he was good for you."

Chloe smiles at you and hugs you, "I believe you, Earth. Always do. Thank you." She whispers in your ear. You hug her back the best you can with arms wrapped up.

"What are the chances that I can be in the middle of that hug, but with all clothes off?" Lucifer smiles as he walks back into the room.

"Only in your dreams, Lucifer," Chloe remarks.

"It's already happening there. Precisely why I'm asking about it now."

A nurse comes in with the release papers and instructions on the healing process. She explains everything to everyone, then hands the clipboard over to you and Lucifer to sign. You get Chloe to sign too in case Lucifer forgot something. You think it's evident that he will.

The nurse takes the clipboard then brings in a wheelchair.

"Oh no. I don't want a wheelchair. Just give me the crutches."

"I had a feeling you would say that, K9. Which is why I already took the liberty of putting the crutches in my car so you'd be forced to use the wheelchair out of here!"

"Lucifer." Chloe hisses.

"What? As K9's nurse, I want to push her around. At least once." He smiles like the trouble maker he is.

"Push me in a wall or down a set of stairs and I will kill you." You warn.

"Promises, promises. Come now, darling!"

Lucifer pushes you down the hall and outside. Chloe walks with you guys, and once you're secured in Lucifer's car she says her goodbyes and promises to call you tonight.

"Despite you being injured, I'm positively thrilled to spend more time with you, K9!" Lucifer looks sideways at you with a smile as he pulls out of the hospital, "I wonder what secrets I can coax out of you during these days."

You grunt, "Just drive, Lucifer."

"Your wish is my command, darling!"

#a devil's love #lucifer netflix #lucifer morningstar #lucifer morningstar x reader #lucifer x reader #lucifer #fanfic #fanfiction #azritesx3 #azookiex3

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jamestrmtx · 3 years

Text

Fairytale Complex - [Undertale | Sans x Reader]

[Gender Neutral, Frisk's Parent Reader | Slow Burn]

Chapter Twelve | Danger Mystery (Part 1 of 2)

[First] | [Previous] | [Next]

Today's the day, and though there's no going back now, one look at the last message your ex sent you makes you wish you could.

I'll 🐝 there in 30 ⌚, babe. 😘😘😘

💋💖🥺 Miss you. 🥺💖💋

The overuse of emojis topped off with him calling you ‘babe’ makes you regret so much as the thought of meeting him already.

It's hard to imagine a normal conversation with Jerry given how awfully long it's been since you last talked and how blatant you were being through texts, ignoring all the ones about the info he dug up on monsterkind and only answering his most recent message with a 'K'. You didn't want to hear his reasons behind his absence after how bad things were left between you, and even less did you want him to call you 'babe' in real life. Grateful as you are to have Toriel offer her home as the place for your meeting with him, you look forward to this as much as you do having to wake up at five in the morning every weekday. Her home is busy as a result of the upcoming visitor, with Papyrus trying to make himself look like the most sophisticated gentleman possible, Toriel fixing Frisk's hair into two short braids, Undyne freshening up after exercising all her own nervousness away, Alphys practicing her introductory speech, and Sans revising Frisk's homework.

Considering how much of a handful the last person has been, you decide to take that as an opportunity for you to bother him yourself -- not only as payback, but as a way to prepare yourself to confront Jerry soon.

You approach the couch he sits on and stand behind him, his sitting height and your standing one allowing you to grab a look at what he's doing with more detail. He's around halfway through correcting Frisk's Math homework, and their English speech is already set aside with a few marks and commentary on what they had left to work with. His revision stops when you hover a little closer, making him acknowledge your presence and set the notebook aside to turn around and meet with your eyes.

"How do I look?

That's the first question you ask him, a bit of confidence shining through with how your health's managed to improve a bit since your hospitalization. While you still have to use foundation to cover up your stress blemishes and you're far from being as fit as Jerry was, it's a huge difference from how you were at the start of it all. As a result, you smile, ready to hear someone else's view of you besides Frisk, Brenda, or yourself.

"'Fraid you're asking the wrong person, pal," he replies, gaze averting from yours.

"C'mon," you insist, sitting next to him on the couch. You then shift a bit closer to the skeleton and nudge his shoulder, pouting at him after that. "Please?," you add, facing him again. "You're… You're the only one I trust who won't sugarcoat how I look if you pointed out those 'love handles' I've got a while back."

He manages to keep his gaze and attention on the conversation, though you can see he tries to look elsewhere every so often, as if unable to stare at you for too long.

"So? I was just makin' a comparison between us, not callin' you out or anything."

"But you were still bold enough to say I had them."

You pull your hand back, noticing it's been kept on his shoulder for far too long. Then, you scoot away, growing aware of how close you are. "I don't want him to think I'm still hung up over him." You huff. "It's been almost six years now!"

"Are you still thinkin' about 'im, though?"

"Oh, hell no. He can go date whoever he wants."

Sans grabs the area where you'd touched him; the sight of that makes you worry if you'd involuntarily crossed a line with him. You're not sure how to ask if you've made him uncomfortable, so you back off and shift further away in your seat, setting your hands on your lap and staring down afterwards. "He was… nice enough to wait until I finished my second year of college for us to call our relationship off and for him to leave the picture, so I can't really blame him too much for what happened." You take in some air and look up again, maintaining your pride. "But that still doesn't mean I don't want to look my best. I've moved on, and I... I really want all that to show today."

Appearing convinced, Sans nods once and sits up straighter on the couch. Whatever made him wary of eye contact vanishes and allows him to judge you without any bias, irises scanning your face for a moment. He carries on to your attire, though it's a quicker observation in comparison and a hint of embarrassment can be seen in his body language, from how stiff his shoulders get to how his grin feels forced and bashful. "You look good. Not much different from your regular self, I'd say."

"Please, be honest with me here, Serif. I know I didn't exactly... look my best when we first met, y'know? It's fine."

"But I am being honest." Again, he averts his gaze from yours, posture staying rigid as he faces the table and stares at the open notebook. "You don't need to try and look like you've moved on, 'cause it already shows -- And even more now that you look healthier, too."

Unsure how to approach his comment, you grab your knees and clench your hands around them, sighing after. "If you really think so, then I..." You breathe in, chest feeling tighter than the belt around your waist. "Thank you."

You stand up and fix your clothes for what has to be the twentieth time today. Your heart's racing just as much as your thoughts. Honest to goodness, you were nervous over meeting Jerry again, and not because of butterflies or lingering feelings, but for how much had happened since he last visited. At the thought of him meeting the monsters and learning all about the near two months Frisk was absent from your side, your worries heighten and anxiety eats right through your confidence.

Nervous, you gulp and look back to the couch again, offering the one still sitting there a smile. "Could you... follow me outside, please?" You wring your hands, clasping them as a subtle plead shows on your face. "I could really use your company right now."

Sans laughs at that, nodding again as he stands up, dusts off, and joins your side, winking when he looks up at you. "Thought you'd never ask, (Y/N)."

You still can't help feeling strange at the sound of him saying your name.

While you're fully aware it was nothing out of the ordinary and that he was now in closer enough terms with you to call you that instead of 'pal' or (L/N), there remains a sudden flip in your stomach whenever he says it. Whether it was due to how wary you've become around him or how incessant he was with his flirting, it's still impossible for you to acknowledge that and get over those feelings. No way were you wasting any of your time and energy thinking about that stuff, anyway.

• • •

The temperature changes as you both step outside.

In contrast to the warmth and coziness of Toriel's home, you're greeted by cold and unrelenting winds, along with the colder, occasional water droplets falling on your face. The hint of a downpour coming soon makes you dwell on your past visit here and how you were obliged to stay the night back then. You wonder if the same ending will apply for today, or if you would have to cut your reunion short as a consequence.

"Guessin' those months without the kid around were pretty draining, huh? You look way happier compared to when we first met." Sans breaks the ice, though his hands are kept in his pockets to shield himself from both the cold and any awkward body language. "When I think about it, it's… It's kinda hard to believe it's already been just as long since we left the Underground -- And that it's gonna be Frisk's birthday soon, too."

You face down at him, smiling when you meet with his gaze. "Has it felt like less or longer to you?"

"A weird mix between the two, actually."

You look away from each other at the sound of an engine rumbling from nearby. A familiar, red colour flashes before your eyes; the Ferrawrxd that parks at the sidewalk brings back memories, ones you try to push down. "Tori was already plannin' out somethin' for 'em by that time," the skeleton says, distracting you from the view. "Has she talked about it with you?"

"Not yet," you reply, facing your shoes. "But I wanted to ask her if she'd like to help out -- It's the least I can do with how much she cares for Frisk."

Despite your best efforts not to, you tense up at the sound of a person stepping down and a car door being shut and locked.

Now that you're actually about to confront your ex, it's hard for you to keep your confidence and face up at that sight. "You should do it, then." Again, Sans's voice helps melt your worries down. "I'm sure she'll be more than happy to join you in that -- And pretty much the rest of Frisk's friends, too." You can feel his gaze on you, though you don't look at him, still too anxious to move your eyes away from the floor. "And I'd be more than happy to help also, so just say the word if you need me."

The earthy scent of roses catches you off guard and makes you look up to see a large, white-and-red bouquet being offered out to you, ex-husband standing behind them. "How's it going, babe?" he asks, a smile present on his face. "I missed you."

You back up against the door to Toriel's home and face the man in front of you with careful eyes. Your breathing hitches with how different a greeting that is from your expectations; the sight of him having no companion around and the use of 'babe' makes it obvious as to what the bouquet means. It's even more than evident with the lull in his tone and the soft look in his eyes, though you don't want to acknowledge that. To counter, you step closer to the skeleton's side and look at your ex right in the eye, a firm look remaining in yours.

"I'm doing alright," you reply, stoic. You then take the flowers from him, paying little attention to them and ignoring his other comment. "This is Sans. Though I'm sure you've heard about him already," you add, gesturing with a hand over to him. Pretending you hadn't seen Jerry at the restaurant back at the very beginning of it all is the best you can do for now with how hard it is to lie about it. "He's one of Frisk's friends from the Underground."

The pair exchange a look, one you can only remain curious over when you remind yourself over the purpose for Jerry's visit. You glare sharply at him, wanting to stand your ground. "Why return after a whole year of not coming around to see your child?" Finally, you cross your arms tight and let your displeasure known through a grimace. "Frisk was gone for almost two whole months, and yet you never worried to ask if I needed help with that or not!"

You take a step forward, anger bubbling the more you let those words dawn upon you. "You came to visit us only after the hardest stage was over. The one where I needed you the most!" You hold yourself back, against letting your voice turn any louder or making a scene of any sort.

"Well, I..." he counters, gaze narrowing and frown showing. "I waited two whole years for you to start out college before ending our relationship, and I'm still paying child support to this day."

"And I had to divide time between taking care of a two year-old with work and college!" You huff out, trying to contain yourself. "This isn't a competition, Jerry. It never was." A sharp bite to the inside of your lip is what's necessary for you to keep yourself from exploding any further than you have already, against showing any more weakness in front of him. "I don't care if you decided to leave, I only wanted you to at least pretend you cared for Frisk. Not just show up and visit once a year like freakin' Santa Claus!"

He glares back at you, keeping it that way when he looks down at Sans, his height not only towering over the monster, but you, as well. "At least I'm not dating a Halloween decoration seven years after my divorce!"

Wham!

You shove the bouquet right at his chest.

Your nostrils flare and your hands ball up tight as you stare him down, frown changing for a deep and unwavering scowl. "Don't talk to him like that!" You pause and take another step forward, enough for him to do the opposite. "Don't call me babe, and don't give me flowers if you're just gonna assume I'm dating someone else! I'm through with you, Jerry, and it's been that way since six damn years ago."

Jerry's eyes lower back to the skeleton, who takes his hands out of his pockets and straightens up. He faces your ex, looking amused. "So this is the one you told me you liked, man?" he asks, brushing you aside to make way towards Sans. "Is this really the (chick/dude) you told me you were into? I thought we were bros!"

"Wait, what?"

Those are the only words you can say out loud as you watch the two confront each other, tension thick in the air. Jerry takes in all of it, while the monster keeps his cool, shrugging at his bro. "Sorry to lay it down like this, but yeah," he says, snickering. "They're who I'm into." He spares a quick glance at you, winking to further fuel your ex's anger. "I gotta admit, it's a bit awkward. Though I really dunno why you're so worked up over this if you had your time all those years ago. Ain't my fault you two broke up."

"They're my ex-spouse, bro!"

"Yeah -- I'm well-aware of that, pal."

You back away from the door when it opens, revealing a frowning Toriel behind it.

"Is everything alright out there, you two? Someone sounds angry." When she catches sight of Jerry, her eyes brighten and a smile overcomes her. "I see our new guest is here! Come along now. I cannot wait to meet Frisk's other parent!"

"Inna second, Tori," Sans says, grinning up at your ex. "Just havin' a talk with 'im first."

The goat lady nods, and a knowing look's exchanged between them two; she then closes the door after that, leaving you be.

Overwhelmed and in need of some painkillers for a future headache, you take a step back meanwhile, not quite in favour of getting caught up between your ex and a monster with a seemingly one-sided crush on you.

"What more could there be to talk about?" Jerry asks, scowling. "If I'd known it was (Y/N) you'd been talking about this whole time, I would've never told you to try giving it a shot!"

He storms off inside the house and closes the door shut, leaving you alone with the skeleton, who soon beckons you over with his irises, a look of caution visible in them.

"You okay, pal?" he asks, hands going back in his pockets. "Sorry I got ya mixed up in all this. I know you don't want any drama, but I really didn't think he'd figure me out like this."

You stand by the door and lean against the wall while you consider his words.

It doesn't take too long for a smile to show up on your face. You sigh, choosing to believe him for now. "It's alright," you say, dismissing his words. "The look you gave each other before this kind of... showed that." You pause, curiosity intervening. "How did you guys become friends, anyway? Didn't he pretty much hate your guts a while back?"

"Met 'im again while workin' at a hot dog stand, so we've been able to talk some more since then." Sans joins your side, similar to the day at Waterfall, but with an easier atmosphere present between you. "He came over to grab a bite, we found some stuff in common, and then we kinda just became friends from there on -- Surprisingly." He hums, a faint chuckle interrupting it. "We started talkin' about our love lives two weeks into gettin' to know each other. And about a month after you confronted me over at that restaurant." His hands leave his pockets, these placing themselves behind his skull as he further reclines against the wall. "I told 'im I'd met someone I was interested in, but when he asked for specifics, I said they weren't really into me. Told 'im they were a single parent, and that maybe that had somethin' to do with them not fallin' easily enough for my flirtin'."

He stops, though you still want to hear more. You nod at him, hope over him carrying on remaining. "Is... Is that all?"

"You'll get mad at me if I keep tellin' you what I told 'im about you."

"I can't promise I won't, but I'll try not to."

The monster takes in a breath, and his relaxed state is then replaced by a subtle mousiness he tries to cover up, mainly by remaining calm and casual.

"I told him your stubbornness and integrity were kinda just... hot, and that I had a thing for not only your looks, but just you, in general -- As a person, I mean."

"Do you still feel that way about me?"

You don't know what makes you blurt that question out, but it's far too late for you to dwell over it now of all times.

"Of course I do," Sans says, rubbing the back of his neck. "I told Jerry 'bout that last part just a few days ago." He stops again, breathing in deep once more. "I was, well, only doing it for fun back when it started. But now... Now I really mean it when I flirt with you, (Y/N)."

[First] | [Previous] | [Next]

• • •

Updates will be Mondays and Fridays starting after Part 2 of this chapter!

Not only will I continue working with my Mario (one-shots from my old account, featuring Princess Peach, Princess Daisy, Rosalina, and Pauline) and She-Ra (some drabbles I’ll be posting here later on) fanfics soon, but I've reached a personal milestone in terms of my studies, so I'll be celebrating that soon!!

• • •

Tag List (Comment or message me if you want to be added to [or removed from] it!)

@the-simp-express

@nektotersh

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haveuseenmylife · 4 years

Text

hello and welcome to hospital antics with charlie - day one

i try to enter the hospital, get asked questions because of covid and shit but everything goes fine, i get in

now i go to the check in, so i'm in the system

i do it at the machine i always use to do that

it doesn't work.

i go to another machine. it doesn't work

i go to do it in person. i'm sent to the machine. i explain the situation, the lady is understanding and sends me to the anesthetist's office

me, entering the room: 'hi' anesthetist: 'oooh a ravenclaw! i'm a hufflepuff' (i was wearing a ravenclaw themed shirt and my ravenclaw college jacket)

anesthesist: oh yeah you're allowed to drink as much water as you'd like up until half an hour before the surgery. you can also drink a black coffee in the morning that's fine (: (remember this)

i'm told to go to ward yellow. so i go to ward yellow. nurse at ward yellow: 'oh no, you have to go to ward green'

me, still at ward yellow, seeing my prior physiotherapist: 'HEEEY HOW ARE YOU' her, squinting: 'take off your mask so i know who you are' *takes of mask* her: 'HIIII HOW ARE YOU'

(she's an angel, she asked me about my knees and how i'm doing and we joked around it was great)

now i go to ward green. nurse at ward green: 'oh yeah we've been awaiting you. good good we're just gonna get you a room...'

spoiler alert: they did not get me a room

nurse, pointing at chairs: 'just sit down here we don't have a free bed right now'

i sit there for like 15 minutes until a nurse arrives. first thing he says: 'to start off: this ward isn't my ward, i normally work at ward red. everything here may seem a little chaotic but i don't care, this is not my ward'

he hands me the menu and tells me to fill in what i wanna eat. me: 'what if i don't fill in anything.' him: 'well then it's gonna be hard to get us to give you food' me: 'what if exactly that's the goal?' him: '...'

side note: i just hate hospital food, that's the whole story

me: 'so am i allowed to still leave campus today to go eat somewhere?' him: 'well you are allowed to have one (1) visitor' me: ...

aah yes remember what the anesthesist said about coffee in the morning? well:

me, filling in the breakfast menu: 'aah yes a black coffee for tomorrow' nurse: 'no.' me: 'huh? but the anesthesist told me...' the nurse, basically: 'no black coffee on the day of the surgery. jail, jail for you for a thousand years.' me: 'alright then' scratches it out him: 'ugh fuck it i have to order anyways just let it be'

update: it's half an hour later and i'm allowed to go eat after all checks are done :D

update 2.0: it is an hour later and i'm waiting

update 3.0: it is yet another hour later. still waiting for the checks

ooh i just got food from the hospital

it didn't taste good. put it back.

update 4.0: it's another hour later. i still don't have a room and i'm still waiting for the checks

update 5.0: the same.

AN HOUR HAS PASSED AND I HAVE A ROOM

my bed is too small for me

my roommate is chill

i'm waiting for a doctor to come do the most essential checks with me so i can go eat something

she was supposed to show up 6 hours ago

SHE FINALLY ARRIVES

everything's chill, nice

time passes, i watch musicals and write to kill time

it's 11pm and i'm in a call, my roommate is asleep

a nurse enters our room, looks at me and smiles sympathetically: 'you can't sleep?' me, in the middle of a laughing fit b/c of said call, nearly losing it, hurriedly opening ao3: 'oh no i'm... reading'

(side note i read for a few more hours after that lol)

i finnaly fall asleep at like 2 or 3 am

and i forget to ask someone to close the windows...

oh no :o a cliffhanger :o more is yet to come

#i'm bored can you tell

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hopelessromanticspoonie · 5 years

Text

To Keep You Safe

Title: I loathe it all! Every little trait, however small

Chapter: 2/?

Author: hopeless_romantic_spoonie

Summary: Life as the assistant to Tony Stark was busy, but boring. All of that changed when I touched something I shouldn’t have and woke up with strange new abilities. If I thought that trying to figure out my new place in life as an Avenger was tough, I had no idea what was in store for me once I ran into the frustrating God of Mischief, Loki.

Rating: E (later on)

Also on Ao3 here :)

Warnings for this chapter: Language

~~~

“Kid, you gotta wake up. C’mon, kid. Please.”

The voice whispered at the edges of the darkness, beckoning me to leave the inky comfort of unconsciousness. I couldn’t quite piece together who it belonged to, but the pain in the voice tugged at some identity just out of reach. The last thing I wanted was for someone else to feel any sort of discomfort because I was taking a nap.

“Her vitals are good, Tony. You have to give her time.”

This voice sounded so gentle. Warm. It didn’t seem to help whoever had spoken first, loud footsteps echoed loudly and a door slammed soon after. Concerned, my mind began to pick up other bits and pieces of information as I slowly roused.

There was a heavy, stable weight spread across my body. It felt soft and cool against my bare arms and legs. Wait, bare? I had been wearing a long-sleeved blouse and jeans. A steady beeping slowly picked up the pace as I focused on it. Whatever the sound was, it was really annoying. There was also a terrible ache throughout my body, but my head felt the worst. It was as if an angry Hulk had smashed me into the concrete several times. Fully registering this uncomfortable feeling brought a moan of pain through my lips; they cracked open after their long period of disuse.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y., let Tony know that she’s waking up.”

Unable to handle the dryness of my throat now that I was aware of it, I forced my bleary eyes open against the bright light of the room to search for some water. My hand tried to come up to shield my gaze, but it was stopped by a burning tug on my wrist. I settled for squinting at the blurry figure standing over me. Blinking several times revealed the man to be none other than Bruce Banner, the other local genius besides Mr. Stark. His hand reached out to settle over mine where the burning, tugging sensation was.

“Easy, Jen. You don’t want to rip this out. You’re banged up enough as it is and-”

“Kid! Don’t scare me like that!” Tony Stark, my boss, burst into the room. My tired brain managed to piece together that it was his voice I must have heard pleading with me to wake up, and then subsequently storm out when Dr. Banner tried to calm him down. He rushed over to sit on the bed by my hip. His haggard appearance, from rumpled clothing to a scraggly goatee, suggested I had been out for much longer than it seemed.

“Mr. Stark, Dr. Banner. What happened?” My voice was as raw and scratchy as my throat felt, nothing like the confident lower register I normally employed.

Mr. Stark shared an uncomfortable look with Dr. Banner, who excused himself after throwing a comforting smile my way. The remaining visitor, Mr. Stark, grabbed a cup of water from the small roll-up table beside the bed and held it to my lips so I could drink. Normally I was not one to accept such help, but my whole body throbbed in time with my heartbeat and I was exhausted simply from existing. The aid would be allowed for the time being.

“Watching back the tapes from F.R.I.D.A.Y., it seems that my tests yesterday for the new shields impacted the building more than I expected. You were trying to straighten up my lab, and, well…” His voice trailed off as he pulled the water away from me once I had my fill, setting it on the table again. Mr. Stark cleared his throat uncomfortably, unable to meet my eyes, choosing to stare intently at the wall across from my bedside instead. “F.R.I.D.A.Y., a little help.”

“Certainly, Mr. Stark.” The helpful AI projected the video footage from the day before on the wall, showing us what I struggled to remember. As soon as the bright emerald box was in sight, everything came flooding back: The explosion. The box falling. Picking it up and experiencing the most excruciating pain I’d ever felt in my life. I turned my hazel eyes away from the gruesome sight after I watched myself touch the box. I didn’t need to see any more.

My uneasy gaze landed on Mr. Stark. He finally dragged his eyes to mine when I shifted on the bed and let out a quiet groan from the discomfort the small movement caused. Regret, anger, and guilt were written in the depth of his brown eyes and the slump of his shoulders. It wouldn’t surprise me if he admitted that he hadn’t slept since F.R.I.D.A.Y. alerted him to the accident.

But that’s what it was, an accident.

“Mr. Stark-”

“Tony. After everything, please call me Tony, kid,” he interjected, a small grimace attempting, and failing, to resemble a smile tugging on his weary face.

“Tony.” That was going to take some getting used to. Was anyone else hurt? What is that thing? That box? How bad is it? I know Dr. Banner isn’t a real doctor, but I’m hooked up to these things so they must say something. Where is everyone else?” As my brain slowly caught up to speed and managed to tamp down the worst of the pain, my scattered thoughts couldn’t help but tumble from my mouth.

I looked around the room frantically, checking to see if any others were stuck in a hospital bed. The only other living things in the room were a few bouquets of flowers decorating the windowsill, looking worse for wear despite having theoretically only been in the room for a day. The sleek white walls and floors instantly placed me inside the infirmary of the Compound, so my injuries hadn’t been so serious that they felt the need to take me to true medical professionals. Although I wouldn’t put it past Mr. St-Tony--weird--to hire a doctor to come here instead. He had done so in the past for the Avengers more grievous injuries.

Tony patted my shoulder gently to bring my attention back to him. My darting eyes and the beeping of the heart monitor revealed the panic I had managed to keep from seeping into my voice.

“Easy, kiddo. No one else was hurt. Cap and Wanda and Point Break and all the others are all fine. Besides your mild concussion, we can’t find any lasting damage to you either,” he assured me, a tired smile flitting across his face briefly.

“As for the box, I’m still working on it. I shouldn’t have left it in there at all, but Carol dropped it off and asked me to look at it just as I was getting somewhere with the helmet and then F.R.I.D.A.Y. reminded me of a phone call I needed to make and my head just wasn’t there. All we know is that she picked it up off of some thugs when she was chasing down a lead on a new sect of Hydra. It busted when it fell and whatever was,” his hands fluttered over me, “inside it got to you,” he said quickly, as if saying the information as fast as possible would lessen the guilt written across his face. Tony hated not knowing something, especially if that something hurt one of his own. And me, I had been working for him for seven years. We were practically family at that point.

“Got to me?” I asked, my voice quiet as I worked to understand the underlying meaning behind his words. If it had only shocked the hell out of me he would have said so. Was I going to glow like a lightning bug now? “You’d tell me if I was a radioactive highlighter superhero, right?”

That at least coaxed a chuckle out of him, but the small bit of happiness died away as he glanced over my body. After his calculating perusal, he rubbed his hands over his face with a heavy sigh, his shoulders lifting and falling with the weight of whatever he was working through mentally. When his hand fell away, false cheer that didn’t reach his eyes tugged on his lips.

“Hey, I know that the gang wants to check on you. How about we get you dressed, pump a few more pain meds into you, and get you up to the bunkhouse? We can put on a movie, and I hear Reindeer Games is even sticking to his lair. It’ll be a load off of their minds,” he offered enthusiastically.

His sudden diversion was not lost on me. There wasn’t a chance in hell that the Avengers cared enough about me to be asking after my health. I was just the PA.

But a chance to joke with Natasha and ogle Thor wasn’t one to be passed up, no matter how much I felt like death warmed over. So, I hesitantly agreed. After another dose of pain medication for the agony surging through my body in tune with my heartbeat, I got dressed in loose pajama pants and a baggy t-shirt. Thankfully whoever had gotten me into the bed and placed the electrodes on my chest had left my bra and underwear on. The borrowed clothes weren’t from the extras in my office, which meant that the very captivating sandalwood cologne coming off of them most likely belonged to one of the Heroes upstairs. I cinched the drawstring on the pants as tightly as I could. I would have to hope that the simple knot and my wide hips would keep everyone from seeing my black granny panties. I inhaled the lovely scent from the shirt deeply when he wasn’t looking. Whoever owned this smelled amazing.

I pretended not to hear Tony when he insisted I take a wheelchair up to the second floor. I would, however, not turn down the elevator. After several tortuously long minutes of stubborn struggling and listening to Tony worry over me, I finally plopped down on one of the many couches in the shared living area of the second floor. There were various seating arrangements scattered about the modern white and black space, as well as a pool table and bar stocked with alcohol.

But the best couch, in my opinion, was placed in front of an obscenely large television and flanked by two loveseats. As soon as my ass hit the seat, the Avengers assembled. I was swarmed by a flurry of attractive, heavily muscled activity until Steve saw the panic in my eyes and made them give me a bit of breathing room. Besides, the IV pole that Tony had pushed along behind me the entire way needed to be situated so I could rest comfortably on the couch.

Avengers arranged themselves on the couches and loveseats around me, watching me with concerned frowns on their faces. Even though I rarely interacted with them all, they all knew of me from listening to Tony brag about my various tasks performed and had seen me around the Compound. Having the attention of so many powerful people was still heart-stopping. It only increased when Tony ignored my pleading looks for him to stay as he excused himself to go fiddle with the strange box that basically attacked me.

Taking a deep breath and training my eyes on the IV line I was fiddling with, I said quietly, “So, what do you do for fun around here?”

A large body fell into the couch beside me, and an arm bulky with large defined muscles rested on the back of the couch behind my head. My hazel eyes flicked up in recognition when the same scent that covered my borrowed loungewear hit me. Seems like I had loaner clothes from the God of Thunder lightly pressed against my side.

“Well, milady, a rousing sparring session is always good sport,” he rumbled, voice deep and full of mirth.

“But probably not the best for her right now, Thor. How about we watch a movie? It’s getting late, anyway,” Natasha offered, her usual sarcasm softening after she noted the fatigue pulling at my heavy eyelids. It was obvious that I wasn’t going to last long after the embarrassingly tiring walk up the stairs. Plus, the sun had set long ago.

“A film it is. Jennifer, you should pick,” Steve agreed, giving me a winning smile along with a brief nod. Even wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt, he still commanded the attention of all those in the room when he spoke. He oozed authority. It also wasn’t fair at all that he could be that attractive simply by existing. Well, from existing and from a terribly painful serum injection and diligent exercise. Still. Not fair.

“It’s Jen, if that’s okay,” I replied not unkindly, grabbing the remote the handsome Asgardian at my side proffered. I flicked the tv to my favorite movie, You’ve Got Mail, before settling into the couch. The various heroes sank more firmly into their positions around me, barely paying attention to the rom-com as they kept an eye on me. It was hard to ignore the constant attention directed my way, but concern for others seemed to be hardwired into their DNA. They were the Avengers, after all.

I drifted off within the first fifteen minutes of the movie. The familiar drone of the movie in the background and the mind-numbing blanket of the pain medication allowed me to get some much-needed rest.

~~~

Early in the morning, the effects of the waning pain medication pulled me from my dreamless sleep. Sleeping curled into a ball on the couch might not have been the best decision for my healing body. At least someone had been nice enough to cover me with a blanket, warding off the chill of the large recreational area.

“Fuck,” I hissed, opening my eyes and immediately rubbing at them with my stiff fingers. My whole body, even down to my fingertips, ached from staying in one awkward position for so long. As soon as my hands fell I was face to face with the last person I wanted to see in this godforsaken Compound: Loki. A brief flash of anger flew across my features before the pain that pulsed through me shifted my attention back to the more pressing needs of finding more pain medicine and crawling into a comfortable bed.

“Language, mortal. What are you doing here? You are not one of the Avengers,” his steely voice spat condescendingly. Piercing green eyes trailed over my body slowly, likely categorizing my injuries for weaknesses to later exploit. He wouldn’t be a God of Mischief if he didn’t look for every opportunity to mess with his prey. Even with him standing several feet away, my heart still threatened to explode from my chest in a twisted mixture of fear and hatred.

“Fuck off, Loki. The others invited me here and apparently went to bed after I fell asleep,” I replied, making sure to lace my words with as much distaste as possible. It wasn’t hard.

With a grunt I pushed the soft blanket from my body, only wincing for a second as the motion pulled on the now-empty IV line attached to my wrist. My eyes left his towering form briefly to inspect it, and I used my free hand to slowly pull it out with a grimace. As soon as I was free of it my wary gaze flew right back onto Loki. I wasn’t going to allow the Trickster God to leave my line of sight for a second. Who knew what he was capable of when alone with an injured woman? Not that I was helpless, but he was, well, him.

“What are you doing here, god?” I mocked, adjusting my clothing around me as I readied myself for the surely-arduous process of standing up.

I already knew the answer. Nothing happened in the Compound without my knowledge, as Tony generally thought of the big ideas and then had me carry them out. Loki, even after his assistance with his brother on Asgard, was not fully trusted. And rightfully so. As such, SHIELD and the Avengers agreed that he should be kept under constant surveillance to see if his change of heart was merely another trick up his sleeve.

Glaring at him from underneath my lashes, I slowly scooted across the couch towards the end in hopes of using the sturdier armrest to propel myself into a standing position. And if that didn’t work, I could always throw the decorative plant on the end table at his face. That wouldn’t truly solve any of my issues concerning him, but it would make me feel better.

“That is none of your concern. It is not for a mortal to know the plans of those above her station. Or to use such foul language in the presence of royalty,” he chastised, straightening up to his full height and clasping his hands behind his back as he watched me struggle. A glint of recognition lit up his dark gaze as he watched me shuffle my way to the end of the couch for freedom.

“That is my brother’s clothing. Were you intimate with him and then cast aside in the aftermath? For shame,” he smirked, eyes twinkling mischievously as his head tilted to the side. “Tsk, tsk, little mortal.”

I glanced down at my clothing and then back up at him, feeling my temper grow with each second I spent in his presence. His smooth voice dripped with disdain and mockery, and I wanted to smack that smug look right off his arrogant face. My glare was the only answer he was going to get to such a ludicrous statement. Even if I had slept with his brother, Thor would never do something like that. Of course Loki’s mind would go there first, as he probably assumed all human women were only good for were using and then tossing to the side.

“Come, let me take you wherever you are trying to go. If I allow you to go alone it will be morning before you are even off of these cushions. I have business to attend to and you are interrupting it,” he stated suddenly, interrupting my train of thought and pulling my mind from the kind, golden Son of Odin to the paler, slinkier version before me.

“I can do this on my own,” I sneered. I couldn’t stop the jump in my pulse as he bent toward me or my body from instinctively pushing back into the couch cushions to put as much distance as possible between us. I would rather die and ruin this very expensive couch with my rotting corpse than accept help from the likes of him. “Go skulk off and do whatever evil deeds you get up to at night. I don’t need you.”

Even as I finally looked away from Loki to figure out how I was going to get off the couch and back to my office where I had a bed, I was aware of his penetrating gaze following my every sluggish move. It was unnerving to be the sole focus of his attention. His pajamas of a fitted black t-shirt and loose black pants did nothing to dissipate the lethality that emanated from the incredibly still man. It was the measured stillness of a predator waiting to ensnare its prey just as it got comfortable.

Not on my watch.

Gritting my teeth and bracing myself, I used the couch to propel myself up into a standing position. It was shaky and I felt less than confident of my ability to walk to the elevator, but it was a start. Just as I attempted to take a few steps in that direction, Loki gracefully sidestepped into my path.

Frustration pulled a heavy sigh through my flared nostrils. “Loki, for fuck’s sake, move.”

His lips pursed slightly and his silver tongue clicked a few times in his mouth as he loomed over me. He was at least a head taller in bare feet, if not more. “Such a mouth on such a fair lady. That isn’t how one should speak in mixed company.”

“Good thing I’m not in mixed company, asshole. Just trying to get by a jerk who has nothing better to do than irritate a random stranger,” I bit back with a sarcastic smile. My eyes tightened into what I hoped was an intimidating glare aimed up at him as I swayed on my feet for a moment before settling into a more steady stance. “Are you going to move or am I going to have to make you?”

“Oh please, do try to force me,” Loki purred, his eyes gleaming as they raked over my body. There was a sensual undercurrent to his words that forced the hair on the back of my neck to stand on end. Whatever his game, I wasn’t keen on playing.

“Get. Out. Of. My. Face. Now,” I seethed through my teeth, standing as tall as I could muster when all I wanted to do was curl in on myself. My breath was ragged from a mixture of pain and fear, making me feel lightheaded in combination with the throbbing burn that had settled uncomfortably in my leaden limbs. If I dared breathe any harder our chests would touch on each inhale. This close I could smell the spicy scent he favored, so different from his brother's. I refused to admit that it smelled amazing. But his mocking words meant nothing to me. While I instinctively shied away at any sudden movement, my stubbornness and pride didn’t allow me to totally back down from his challenge. Even if that would have been the smart thing to do in the face of the God of Mischief.

“Now is that what you truly want, kitten?” Loki asked, his voice velvet. He seemed determined to push any button he could until he found the one that set me off the most.

One of his large hands reached out to brush up my arm and I jerked it back quickly. Without thinking, my open palm connected with the smooth porcelain skin of his cheek with a crack that resounded around the room. Only the sting of my palm seconds later coupled with the look of astonishment and then fury that tightened his sharp features brought me back into reality. A reality where I had just slapped a very powerful, brutal, and intimidating god in the face.

Good one.

A flare of fear shot through me at his furious gaze, and suddenly the houseplant on the end table flew off of the smooth glass surface and shattered against the wall. My eyes flitted to it in alarm briefly, but I attributed it to some trick from Loki meant to get under my skin.

“Milady! Are you well?” A concerned shout echoed throughout the living space, drawing the attention of Loki and myself away from our current standoff. Thor, in nothing but a pair of loose plaid pajama bottoms, rushed into the room. His worried gaze fell onto his brother and then myself. The tightening of his one blue eye as he hastily looked me over spoke volumes for how incompetent I must look standing up to his calm and collected--I would go so far as to say bored--brother.

Thor wasted no time and pushed himself between us, placing his back to me so he could face his brother. The jostling of his large frame between our close bodies was enough to knock me off-kilter, but he quickly turned around and wrapped a steady arm around my waist before I fell. He searched my face silently for any sign of injury, physical or mental.

“Your asshole brother was just grilling me, but it’s okay. He can’t touch me here,” I reassured him, glaring around his massive body to sneer at Loki as I put a gentle hand on his brother’s massive bicep. The warmth it held and strength it promised helped to soothe my racing pulse, if only just.

“Oh, my dear, don’t be so sure of that,” Loki warned, his silken voice weaving into my thoughts without my consent. His instantly innocent smile and relaxed posture at the sight of his brother fooled no one, but it was a battle not worth fighting.

“Stay the hell out of my head, Loki,” I threatened, my bravado stronger now that I had the literal God of Thunder on my side.

Thor’s concerned expression turned to anger as he looked to his brother over his shoulder.

“Leave her be, Loki,” he commanded. The timbre of his deep voice vibrated through his body to my hand and sent a shock of fear through me. It took a second to remember that his fury was directed at the wraith of a man before me and that I had nothing to fear.

Thor’s face melted back into a look of deep concern as he turned back to me after I released his arm. I had let go to worry the golden necklace that always hung around my throat and dipped down into my shirts. I managed a weak smile of gratitude for his care to let him know that I was okay. He returned my smile with a lovely grin of his own before steering me away with his firm hold around my middle. The altercation with Loki had been more draining than I cared to admit so I was again willing to accept his assistance.

“Come. Tony told us that you would be staying with us until you’re more fully recovered. He left some remedies in the room chosen for you as well,” he instructed softly, taking his time guiding me at my own snail-like pace to the bedroom he indicated.

“This isn’t over, darling,” Loki promised, his voice slithering into my mind. I managed to use my free hand, as the other was currently around Thor’s back to balance my uneasy steps, and flip Loki the bird as we shuffled away.

Thor helped me into the bedroom assigned to me. He was spouting off about the features of the room in a kind attempt to distract from Loki and my ever-growing pain, but my mind was stuck firmly on the pale, lean Son of Odin we had left behind. I hardly noticed as he handed me my medicine to take with a glass of water from the bathroom, before carefully lifting up my slender body and cradling me briefly to his bare chest before depositing it beneath the soft blankets he had turned down upon our entrance. Now that I did notice. I was injured and exhausted, but I wasn’t dead.

“Goodnight, fair maiden. I will see you in the morning,” Thor promised, clasping my shoulder firmly before leaving to return to his bedroom for the evening.

I offered him a tired, pained smile before he disappeared. After the door automatically slid shut from his departure, my eyes darted around the room to take in my surroundings. I hadn’t ever seen the luxurious suites that the guests of the Avengers Compound were afforded. Tony didn’t live here, he had a small house with Pepper just off-base, so I hadn’t visited one before. With contrasting black walls and white floors, the general feeling of the room was similar to that of the kitchen and rec room just outside her door. Modern and expensive, but without much personality. Large windows made up the entirety of the outside wall, revealing the stars that blanketed the night sky. The decorations were sparse, without even a throw pillow on the expensive couches in the small sitting area in the room. I couldn’t see into the private bathroom with the door closed, but I knew it was similarly styled. Tony had a certain aesthetic, and while it wasn’t what I would have personally chosen, it was more familiar and comforting than the room in the infirmary I had occupied earlier. That feeling of comfort might also be attributed to the many extraordinarily gifted and strong men and women just outside the door that would be willing to assist me with anything at a moment’s notice. The omnipresent F.R.I.D.A.Y. also helped calm my rattled nerves.

With nothing left to do but rest and allow the drugs to tackle my aches and pains, I settled back into the devilishly plush bed. I was out before I could tell F.R.I.D.A.Y. to dim the lights.

#to keep you safe #loki #loki fanfic #loki odinson #loki laufeyson #loki friggason #marvel #marvel fanfiction #marvel fanfic #loki fanfiction #loki/ofc

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crazyperfectsense · 4 years

Text

4/30/20/1

god April was 5 minutes long and I’m going to spend all 5 of them writing this post

this is honestly probably far too personal to put into the public of the internet, and perhaps I’ll take it down before anyone really sees it, but Tumblr is comforting because it is almost a graveyard and the people who remain (who I see in fleeting posts in passing, hi) I trust (or just will not see this because they do not care or the algorithm does not favor long text posts), whereas Facebook is horrifying and Instagram is worse, and this is likely going to be too long to hold anyone’s attention for the whole thing, but I also want to get some notes down for whenever I finally get to talk to my therapist again, so here we go

I woke up at 6:30am naturally (horrifying!), leapt out of bed because I realized how much work I had to do (hate when a nap turns into just...sleep!), and got a text from my dad 15 minutes later that my maternal grandfather was in critical condition, and somehow still managed to do work for the next six hours out of necessity

it briefly brought back flashbacks to 2012, where my dad didn’t tell me for a week that his father died because I had finals my first semester of college, but told me right after he picked me up as we were driving across campus to pick up a friend that we were taking back home, so I had about 3 minutes to compose myself before a 2 hour car ride (horrifying!)

my grandfather died around 1pm, and I had the truly unique (horrifying! ! ! !) experience of finding out via text while I was on a Zoom call as the TA, where I was the only person sharing video other than the professor (my advisor!), and I had to keep my composure while simultaneously finishing creating the homework that I was behind on making while also trying to figure out what to respond to this text notification of mortality, because I don’t know how to say any sort of condolence really in Chinese, but my dad was handling communications and just texting in English anyway — and I don’t know, it’s the kind of thing where I probably could’ve ditched the call and made excuses later, but the effort to preserve even the slightest tinge of normalcy in this moment seemed right, and I did my very best (and succeeded!) to not spontaneously burst into tears on camera, even though I did about 0.03 seconds after I hung up

an aside: thank god that my advisor was sharing screen and people were hopefully focused on him / in speaker mode or something, because my neutral face is....poor! not entirely sure because I avoided making eye contact with my virtual self aside from brief checks to make sure that I was still alive, still functioning as I flickered from screen to screen across my two monitors

I had a meeting scheduled with my advisor afterwards, and he was all ready to move into it, but was so extremely understanding the second he saw my message I had sent 50 min earlier that was effectively “can we push this back a bit because my grandfather died and I need to call my fam lol” and suggested (as any normal person with emotions would) that I take the time to formally postpone and regroup if needed (needed!) rather than just pushing back a half hour or so like I naively thought would work

I had to desperately cry for about 20 minutes (horrifying!) before I felt ready to call my family, even so

I hate hearing my mom sad! it’s the fucking worst! but it was a relief for 2 seconds to exist over a phone line with someone who also couldn’t talk straight without needing to take a few gasping breaths

another aside: i didn’t write about this in February because, well, everything was on fire in my life already, so briefly: my mom was supposed to be in China through mid-March, having gone there in October. things obviously went to shit, given *gestures at COVID-19 and the world*, and we booked her an early return flight, given that the senior living facility my grandparents were in had already closed to visitors out of precaution. my brother, dad, and I collectively freaked the fuck out (my brother started crying in the middle of class and had to leave, I barely held it together in mine but paid negative attention) when flights back from China started getting cancelled (and for those like, terrifying few hours where Trump was going to ban foreign nationals since my mom’s not a citizen and they didn’t make it clear that immediate family of US citizens were fine), but we somehow made it happen

so, back to the phone call: I just let her talk and she had so many regrets about leaving China when she did, and it just made me feel like the shittiest person for wanting her back home in America when it deprived her of the chance to see her dad one more time. my uncle and mom luckily got to take my grandparents out of the senior home for one night to celebrate Chinese New Year the day before the facility closed to visitors, so they had one last dinner together as a family but thinking about the what ifs makes me want to cry all over again. my mom just kept saying how she wished she could’ve done more, how she wished they had gone to the hospital earlier for a check-up, and the most I could helplessly contribute was “coronavirus concerns were already rampant and it could have been even worse, given airborne contagion,” even if I said as many other things as I could, about how dialysis was painful as hell and my grandfather, the former doctor, said he didn’t even want to be in the ICU at the end years before his passing

I learned what the Chinese words were for “depression” today, when my mom said my grandfather said he had it and they had gotten him some medication for it a few months ago, and I was so stunned that it was “depression” and not some strange disease I was unfamiliar with that I couldn’t say anything for 30 seconds, and I can’t really write more on this point because I will just start crying, but perhaps I should really think about how aging research is largely focused on non-Asian populations and how perhaps, I’m uniquely equipped to contribute a bit to the field here (but, that is true for so many things, and I am tired!)

my grandfather was great. he was quiet, but stubborn as hell. he was a doctor, and he loved routine. he cared so, fucking, much about me and my brother. he always insisted on taking my brother and me on walks to the same few places that he liked to visit — I remember visiting this community center that had a ping pong table — and him going out of his way to find me internet access, since my grandparents’ apartment didn’t have it for most of the years I visited. he loved taking me and my brother to KFC, because he thought it was the height of Americanized cuisine in China, and was so proud of how much better it was than American KFC (which he hadn’t had, but he knew, and he was right. we would eat every single bite of a two-piece meal each. even the ketchup was better). he once cut out a newspaper clipping ranking UT as the #2 college on this huge list of colleges (I think it was referring to research endowments, but anyway) and saved it to show me almost a year later. he told me in 2013 that he would probably live to see me finish college, and he lived to see me two years into grad school, dying when I was halfway through year three. he was 89. I loved him so much, even if we didn’t get to talk much at all.

I’m so mad at all these fucking people who, in the land of the free and the home of the so-called brave, are being idiots in this time and not social distancing. I’m so mad at every single friend who posts a large or small gathering to their story, at everyone who is so thirsty for social connection that they’re willing to put everyone they’re in close contact with at risk to hang out with another person for just a few hours (horrifying!). humans are social creatures who need engagement and connection to live — having written 22 pages about health and social relationships across 12 hours a few weeks ago, I understand this point so saliently that it’s painful. but seeing such....levity when my mom is crying over not being able to even go back to China to properly say goodbye because they won’t admit anyone from the US (and the US has banned travel to China, like that was necessary in this xenophobic environment) makes me want to punch a wall. suck it up! call your friends over Zoom or FaceTime like the goddamn rest of us!

grief is so strange, and grief is encapsulated in every molecule of this new normal — the strangeness of missing the life that once was, even if the past wasn’t something that I thought I’d miss. I remember feeling so, so guilty for traveling twice in February because of the studying for comps that I should’ve been doing, and now I marvel at my foresight. (and have so many regrets for the people who I told “I’ll see you in April when I’m back after comps are done!!”

I’m in this weird spot where I feel like I’m screaming at the people around me to care, and all of them are too busy with different social ties, and I’m watching my connections wilt and fray because everyone thinks I’m so stable and put-together (or boring and shy?)

an example: I was left off of a reunion Zoom call with some people I worked with in college that was widely talked about on social media regarding “love having shared all this time with these strong women” and all, and it felt very, idk, selfish and whiny (horrifying) to be like “how can you call this feminism when I, a real woman, am being left out of this call”! the following exchange, about the above, happened with in a group chat with a very blunt friend:

D: “Also, how does it feel to be left out of that [organization] Women zoom call, Amy?” another aside: (this....was a stupid question. but we’ll allow it, because boys will be boys.) me: “lol it honestly hurt my feelings but it's not like they weren't cliquey from the very beginning ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ to be expected I suppose” D: “Yeah when I saw that I was like “Why didn’t include Amy, she was there at the same time as they were”” me: “LOL thanks for thinking of me 🥺 they clearly did not”

(the other friend staying quiet, because it was tangibly awkward, even if I tried to play it chill, but my feelings remain hurt) perhaps if I cared more, or wanted to try and make people feel bad, I would’ve replied to a story with “tfti”, or laughed, or heart-reacted, or something “casual” that still implicates “where was my invite”, but....is it even worth investing the hurt and care and time when I’m not even sure it would spark embarrassment on their end? because perhaps they intentionally just do not...care about me and my feelings? at all? (horrifying?)

(I already know this to be true, even if the snub was unintentional, but I needed to muse about it anyway)

another aside: I still talk with plenty of people from this organization who I am MUCH closer with, and I shouldn’t feel snubbed to be snubbed by people who I never felt too close with in the first place! (and yet! horrifying!)

sent an extremely passive aggressive message earlier and yet, K tells me that the people in the chat might not even read it as passive aggressive! (horrifying!)

god. I don’t know! I feel so much sadness and anger, and yet still have a few hours of work to do tonight. it’s wild that even today, where my heart just hurts every few seconds if I think too hard, I still have my mind centered in needing to be productive and not lazy because I’ve already spent too much time procrastinating on my work (horrifying!). but the work is about Asian American collective action / media production, and I feel good about it, and I’m working with some badass Asian women, and I really hope it lands in this flagship journal, because that would be a win, and I kind of just need one!

oh if it’s not clear I finished comps and I don’t know if I passed yet but they’re done so...that’s something

also whoever fucking looked at Chicago style citations and thought “oh hmm, let’s make another type of Chicago style that is DIFFERENT and call it Chicago style documentation” is the literal fucking devil

ok this is enough for now bye. god this was long. (horrifying!!!!!!)

#ever spontaneously write 2000+ words

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ohlisaaaa · 4 years

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Old thoughts

July 23, 2018 I haven't felt this way for a long time. It feels familiar, yet new. And he definitely defies ALL the stereotypes of meeting someone online. Like, you date so much so you know the pattern right? He does the "moves" but doesn't follow the pattern. It's interesting, makes me curious and want to know more. Obviously he isn't perfect, cuz I'd be freaking out. But he's a good, good guy. Anyway point of this was since I deleted all our texts bec I thought he was being an asshole, I have to type out everything lol. Dude you know me and dating memorabilia. Don't think I'm using the word right but we are just gonna go with it. Ok when we first had coffee, he told me straight up he was sweating in the car before he met me lol. He was nervous and said it even in text. I think his last girlfriend was in high school... doesn't matter. He met me at the park while I got sushi and his mom was like what if she stood you up and he said no she doesn't seem like that type of girl and he was looking for me in the window haha. Also I jokingly asked him to ask his mom about coupling tips and he actually did. She said there was too many haha. He walked me back to my car (can't imagine a guy NOT doing that, Melody LOL) hugged x2 then he's like you wanna hang out tomorrow?! He texted me after the park and said it was nice meet June 28, 2018 Palliative was interesting because I've never seen it in person before. Only read about it. M on the other hand was amazing. Seriously, the visits were very insightful. I think I learned a lot. It kind of felt like a sales visit, but at the same time she didn't push the patient or their family towards anything. Just educating them on the levels of care that Residential has to offer after home care. Focusing on the goals. Educating on the importance of what YOU want and when it would be a time for the highest level of care which is hospice. Five wishes which is a form of advanced directives that can be notarized to be legal. DNR and the levels of resuscitation that you want. MPOA (medical power of attorney). The first lady we saw had a wedding that she really wanted to go to the following week and was working really hard with OT, PT to gain strength to be able to walk without feeling short of breath and getting used to her oxygen tank. Curative vs. comfort. Knowing when to stop curative treatments without it working. Getting the courage to be able to make the decision and say no more treatment. Recurrent hospitalizations, poly pharmacy. The diagnosis is leading to a decline. Both patients and their family members talked about how their doctors don't use layman terms and don't know when to stop. They don't listen to what the patient's want. It's not their fault, medical school teaches them to cure the patient. But there needs to be The Journey department was created to bridge that gap. Home care allows me to see what happens when something unexpected happens August 2, 2018 I just don't understand. I guess it's not for me to understand. It's not for me to dissect apart. It is the way it is. Why do I have to go through so much disappointment, so much heartbreak. My anxiety is through the roof. My mind is wandering aimlessly with no end. The voices in my head can't stop My heart wants everything to halt Dating filled my empty hole after my failure. I don't know how I'm going to get past it. If I ever do. It feels like I'm just moving through time, not really feeling. Not really tasting. Not really smelling. Not really hearing. Not really touching. Like all my senses have gone numb. This isn't who I am. Worst part is I don't know how to come up through this. Doesn't help that people in my life disappoint me one after the other. People are wishing Charles a happy birthday and how he's the best person ever and yes he may be the best father and nurse on earth but oh boy. Do they want to know his other side? Pisses me off. Can he actually be a man and tell me straight up? Nope, he just likes to ignore me while I tend to every beck and call. I have to be strong and not let him take advantage of me. Mistakes happen right? And Paul. I spent so much time with him. And he just ignores me. Why does everyone I meet in my life expect ME to save them? I wish the world could just quiet down. Just stop. Just leave me alone. Just leave me the fuck alone. And I know. I know the power to do it all is within me. I have to be strong. The only person that can save me, is me. The only problem is, what happens when I already ran out of strength? May 29, 2018 After the busy long weekend, I’m feeling so tired. Mostly emotional. Think I’m getting my monthly visitor. It is that time. I JUST DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO. Can someone just tell me what to do, step by step? I was thinking about it and dude this is my rock bottom. Like I can’t even sink any lower. I do have to say, I’m excited for my new job but that’s it. Graduate school went down the hole, it’s been a month but I don’t feel normal. Maybe I need a new normal. I just don’t feel motivated. LIU sent an email out saying they are unmatched cuz someone decided not to go. Annoyed emoji. I don’t even know where to begin. I wanted this for so long 😦 Oof shall we go into the romantic part of my life? I tell myself this is a fun thing but shall we face the actual facts? I think this will make me more unstable. I can’t not have feelings for things, you know? HE IS 37, WITH TWO CHILDREN + TWO, NOT ONE BUT TWO BABY MAMA’S. Laughing emoji. Dude, I know I can have fun but is this really the way? I really don’t think I can even have “fun” when I seriously can’t handle myself emotionally. Still in the process of loving myself. And when I justify having relationships with people who I normally wouldn’t go out with, it’s a problem. I don’t think I’ve made any sense, to be honest. So many racing thoughts. Ok, I shall use what Matt taught me and focus on one thought or I’ve noticed focusing on one object helps. And yes, I think I need a new normal. I think I will give myself one month (more) to just think everything through. I want to adjust to my new job too. And focusing on myself, no dating apps. Exercising and not overeating for the past couple days so that’s good. I want to be proud of my body and feel good. So since my main focus was school and it’s going to happen for some time, my mind needs a new distraction because obviously, my mind can’t sit still. So it just so happened to be Charles. But dude, I seriously wonder why the universe put HIM in my path. I’ve read a quote somewhere that says having daydreams is good because it motivates you to achieve your dreams and I use to daydream 24/7 about interviews and I got one from Michigan. And dating an older guy, Charles wasn’t exactly what I had in mind but yeah. I like to think it’s telling me that I have to focus on myself because he clearly isn’t the one so I shouldn’t fall head over heels with the first person who notices me. If I want something, I need to really want it. Also, I have to stop seeing the good in everyone. Some people just have bad in them. I have to grow thicker skin too. I know I want to sleep with him, buuuuuut I probably shouldn’t. The reckless side of me is saying do it, do it. But the responsible side is saying no, this will end badly (like the Jake situation, cough cough). Charles is cool, more like a friend though. Because I know I don’t believe this now, but I deserve better. I deserve better. I deserve better. Someone who puts me first Someone who is interested in what I have to say Someone who will go on midnight walks with me Someone who will hold my hand in alleyways Someone who will talk to me no matter what time of the day it is Someone who will support anything I do I’m not looking for anyone to complete me, someone who will love me unconditionally.

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feralquirks · 5 years

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Date Time

In Toshinori’s defense, he rolled a 1 on foresight and hindsight, but rolled a nat20 in lack of impulse control the day he was born. It was not his fault that his parents rolled the dice that day, alright?

Whatever, that was besides the point. The point was that they, ‘they’ being himself and Izuku, were royally screwed. And sitting in the hospital waiting for Izuku’s mother, AKA the harbinger of their inevitable death.

What were they doing there, one might wonder?

Well, in Toshinori’s second defense, he thought their first attempt would be more of a success than the last. They had been working on a few techniques they could try before Izuku would try using One For All again, but alas—The Snappening Part 2 had occured on the poor boy’s arm, and since Korosensei wasn’t here to patch him up (and honestly, he was a little glad for it because he knew for sure the octopus would skin him alive if he knew Izuku had tried to use One For All without his supervision yet again), their only option was to call for an ambulance. So there they were.

It was tense in Izuku’s room, just waiting for Midoriya-san to arrive so Izuku could be released. Soon enough, she had come in, almost blubbering as soon as she saw her son sitting on the bed with his arm held tightly against his chest. She cupped his cheeks, asking if he was okay, if nothing else was hurt, how did this happen?

“Um—Uh, M-Mom, I—u-um,” her son stumbled, appearing flustered all of a sudden. Midoriya-san paused in her own fretting to let Izuku gather his words. She was very patient with him, always.

“It’s okay, honey, take a deep breath and think about what you want to say,” Inko calmly encouraged, smiling at him. Izuku grinned back before nodding and swallowing, appearing to take his time.

“...Um… We, er, me an’—an’ Y-Yagi-sensei were, um… u-um, pra- practi—um… train- trainin’... Y-Yagi, um, ss-sensei?”

Toshinori perked up then as the woman turned around to look at him, realizing there was another person in the room for the first time. The blond stood himself up and gave a nervous smile, hands together. “Hello, Midoriya-sa—”

Suddenly, a finger was thrusted into his face, Inko’s red cheeks puffed up just below his view—oh. Yeah, she was pissed. “ You ,” she hissed. “You allowed this to happen?! You’re supposed to be supervising him!”

Toshinori raised his hands up in defense, face white in fear at the woman. She had tears streaming down her face, but the pro hero was certain it had to be because of pure rage and it honestly sent shivers down his spine and divolved the man into a puddle of stutters. “I— M-Midoriya-san, please, a-allow me to ex- allow me to explain—”

The woman took a step back, her stare ever strong and she took a deep breath to steady herself. Then, she crossed her arms and nodded for him to continue. “You better have a perfectly good explanation for this, Yagi-san, or so help me God.”

Toshinori swallowed thickly, feeling as though he had only about five minutes left to live if she didn’t like his reasoning. His eyes flickered to Izuku, who looked so devastatingly dead inside. The boy shook his head and brought his hand to draw over his lips. Midoriya’s foot tapping on the floor sliced through his thoughts and he just let it out, “We were training Izuku’s quirk.”

Midoriya’s face turned white, tearing halted, another step back— “He- He doesn’t—”

“Please, allow me to explain.”

The woman’s mouth slammed shut, and he heard the sound of Izuku’s undamaged hand slapping his own face. Blue eyes darted around the room, to the quiet hallway outside, then to the window. No, this was definitely not the place to be speaking about this… A deep breath in, and he looked back to meet Midoriya’s eyes. “This is… a sensitive topic to talk about in public. Please—allow me to make this up to you, both of you. I’m paying for Izuku’s hospital bill. Why don’t you come to my apartment for dinner? We’ll discuss it in full then.”

Midoriya was quiet for a moment just blinking, baffled by the offer. She shook her head quickly, trying to reorganize her thoughts, and her folded arms raised to her cheeks. “I- er- well, if- if it’s just to speak…” She turned to Izuku, sharing a look of confusion and concern. Slowly, the younger Midoriya nodded with a slant smile, as though to say sure? Midoriya looked back to Toshinori, then slowly nodded as well. “I… Well- fine. Thank you, Yagi-san. But this is strictly a formal dinner, and Izuku will be present as well.”

Toshinori cheered up a bit, bobbing his head up and down eagerly, happy she even agreed to it at all. “I wouldn’t expect anything less. Er, I’ll—I’ll give you my information, yes?”

---

Toshinori had his small dinner table set up perfectly, an extra chair set up in the middle for Izuku—he only had two chairs for his dinner table. He didn’t have many visitors, except for maybe Sir Nighteye, but that boat had stopped coming a long time ago. He was borrowing the third seat from his neighbor.

Toshinori clapped his hands once excitedly, a small smile tugging his lips before he began to align the utensils with each other. There were dishes set aside for the meal, and empty cups piled in one another like russian dolls, should they want anything to drink as well. The spaghetti was almost done as well—it was such a simple dish he learned to make while in America. Little thought went into preparing it, only that the noodles had to be whole-grain for the sake of his missing stomach. Lord, he hoped Midoriya liked it…

He wondered if he should have anything else out…? Music? Flowers? Oh, shoot, should he have gotten her flowers?! The hero bit his lip nervously, tapping against the kitchen counter. He looked at his watch—they should be here soon. Maybe it wasn’t too late to buy some for her? Antsy, the blond stood straight and made for the door, opening it to see—Midoriya Inko with her hand raised about to knock with Izuku behind her. He wore a semi-casual dress shirt while Midoriya-san wore her hair in a bun, elegant flower hair pins sticking out from it to keep it firmly in place. She wore a simple green sundress, one sunflower decorating the bottom of the dress hem. For a moment, Toshinori thought his heart had stopped.

“Oh,” Midoriya broke the teacher’s stupor, allowing him to blink away his surprise.

Instantly, Toshinori straightened his back and began to drag his hands over his shirt as if to flatten any folds after clearing his throat. “Come- uh, C-come right in! I-I was just about to, er, I-I had forgotten to buy flowers, erm…”

“Flowers? That’s awfully sweet of you, Yagi-san,” Midoriya hummed with amusement, her hand over her chest before flowering the blond man’s gesture to come in. Izuku gave Toshinori an odd look, which the older man reflected, gesturing silently what?

Izuku leaned up and whispered, “She knows about it.”

Understanding dawned on his face before he wiped it off and feigned ignorance. Just follow the original plan, Toshi, she’s only here to discuss things about Izuku. Clearing his throat again, Toshinori lead the two further into his apartment and toward the dining room. “You- er, you must forgive the mess. I’m not quite used to company…”

Midoriya waved him off as she took a seat in one of Toshinori’s chairs. “Please, Yagi-san, you haven’t seen my apartment if you think this is a mess. Your home is very cute.”

Cute? Toshinori thought he was about to throw up blood for a second, he was so caught off guard by the comment. “Er… Thank- Thank you! Uh… Would you care for- for wine or a drink?”

“Wine would be lovely, Yagi-san. Izuku, do you want anything?”

Toshinori caught the boy’s gaze, so timid and reluctant to ask for anything. The blond smirked knowingly. “I have apple juice, if you’d like, Izuku-kun.”

The boy blushed and looked down before nodding and mumbling his shy thank you. Toshinori beamed. Victory. He poured the drinks and set it for them. He couldn’t have wine, but he had gone out to buy a bottle for Midoriya, unaware if she was the type for strong beverages or not—and just in case, he had also bought some other alcoholic drinks in case she wanted anything different too. Thankfully, she didn’t seem very picky with her liquor.

“I’m not usually the type to drink,” Midoriya then hummed, taking a small, dainty sip from her glass. “But every once in a while, wine is good.”

Toshinori let a quick sigh of relief escape him as he smiled, turning back around with Izuku and his own drink in his hands. He had poured himself some apple juice as well. Sitting across from Midoriya, Izuku sitting in the very different chair in between him, discreetly texting his friends under the table while sipping from his apple juice. The pro hero then folded his hands together. “So,” he began slowly. “His… quirk.”

“Izuku spoke to me about it on the ride over, Yagi-san.”

He didn’t feign surprise, only nodded in response. “Then, you must know who I truly am?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Are you… angry? At me?”

She was quiet, setting her drink down. Her green eyes looked down at the table, her finger rolling against the glass. “No. In fact, I’m grateful. I’m glad it was you—someone he can trust. Considering…”

Toshinori smiled, nodding in understanding.

Midoriya then paused, and looked toward the kitchen. “Is… something burning?”

“Crap.”

---

The spaghetti had burned, so Toshinori had opted to take them to a restaurant downtown—something fancy for Midoriya, and then they could have a normal dinner instead of discussing One For All (though Midoriya had said she still wanted a full explanation), but Midoriya and Izuku had declined, saying they weren’t fans of fancy things—why not something simpler? Like a cafe or something family-owned, or other.

Toshinori relented and agreed to take them, just as long as they allowed him to pay for their meal since it was supposed to be him running the show. They sat in a ramen shop, mostly made for tourists, but they had good food anyway, and Mom could finish her wine without something trying to burn the house down. The two continued in friendly banter, each asking each other questions and seeming to enjoy the other’s company.

Izuku, on the other hand, felt absolutely and thoroughly mortified by the concept of his mother and teacher being seen out in public. He was glad they were at least… being civil with each other. Namely, his mother. And Toshinori still carried an air of nervousness around him, like he was scared of saying the wrong thing. Meanwhile, Izuku ate slowly, having only one available hand at the moment, which shared the responsibility of texting with Karma, Maehara, and Nagisa the entire time.

One Punch Boy: srsly i feel like im gonna explode at literally any moemnt

Womanizing Scumbag: hey take solace that it’s not korosensei

One Punch Boy: i literally hate that image

Jersey Devil: is midoriya-san even his type?

One Punch Boy: i actualy hate this Never speak to me again ever at all

Gender Snek: ewwwww

Jersey Devil: it’s not ew, it’s for science, we have to know okay

Womanizing Scumbag: the public needs to know

One Punch Boy: i will literally vomit in public if u dont stop

Gender Snek: eeeewwwwwww guys stop

Jersey Devil: sorry, sorry, i know youre going through a tough time what with your mom and teacher dating and all

One Punch Boy: whoa whoa whoa whoahwowhao no one NO ONE said anything a out them DATING

Womanizing Scumbag: didn’t you say she’s been laughing at almost everything yagi-sensei’s been doing/saying?

Jersey Devil: and he even got her a wine bottle before? and was about to buy her flowers too?

Gender Snek: you said you guys stopped at a flower shop on the way to the ramen shop, right?

One Punch Boy: literally none of that means they’re DATING. like it’s only one time.

Izuku paused in his slow one-handed typing to take a bite from his ramen, glancing up just in time to catch the tail end of his mother and teacher’s conversation.

“Er, well… did you, er, did you hear about the kidnapping at school?”

“What?! There was a kidnapping?!”

Toshinori waved his hands around quickly. “No, no, he’s alright! He woke up!”

Mom stopped, bug-eyed, and Izuku internally groaned at the poor joke, second-hand embarrassment flooding his system right before his mother burst into a tearful laughing fit—as though that was the world’s funniest joke ever. He resisted the urge to groan externally. He texted the group quickly with an update of what just happened before he reached for his soda on the table. Mid-sip, he glanced down grumpily at his phone—

Jersey Devil: dude that’s a date, like theyre dating, dude dude, theyre datting

Womanizing Scumbag: DUDE YOURE MOM LIKES HIM, OH YMG FOGD YAGI-SAN IS HITTING ON YOUR MOM!!! DUDE DUDE, HOW CAN YOU BE DENYING TNHIS

Gender Snek: dude, you’re chaperoning their first date

—and spat out his drink in complete shock, then began to choke horrendously.

Oh my god, All Might’s dating my mom.

#so anyway toshinko--#🐾 ━ drabbles #🐾 ━ toshinori; all might #🐾 ━ izuku; lucky foot #🐾 ━ inko; little spider

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