Legilimency of the Heart
Description: A story that delves into the life and regrets of Severus Snape, following his childhood and subsequent fall to the Dark Arts and Lord Voldemort.
Chapter 1: The Flowers Near Spinner's End
Severus had tried to ignore it. The signs were mere hallucinations of his longing to return to his world. She was just a girl, another girl. No, he told himself glumly; there were no other wizards in this town, save for himself and his mother. No one else shared their gifts, their inherent oddness, their magic.
Except, that day shoved all doubt from his mind.
He had been walking down his street, Spinner's End, with no particular aim in his wandering. That is, perhaps why they called it wandering. Cokeworth was, after all, nothing more than a large industrial town; its inhabitants were mostly factory men, working merely to put bread on the table, not wanting much beyond that. Its streets were lined with mortar and brick houses, once handsome and proud, now dilapidated and deserted.
In other words, it was a Muggle hovel.
Severus trudged up the lane, pulling at the collar of his shirt nervously. No matter how many times his father instructed him in the manner, he never quite got the hang of dressing as a Muggle, least of all with a limited selection of outfits. His ratty trousers and buttoned shirt seemed to work today, however, as most of the passersby didn't look back.
He entered the main road and looked up and down the street; it was the end of another long day for the Muggle workers, as they shuffled out of their factories to head back home. Unwilling to get mixed within the bustling crowd of laughing and jeering men, Severus made to turn back home, when he heard a distinct boom of laughter emanate from the crowd.
'Oh Lord, Biggins! You need to come over for supper more often, the wife would certainly love to hear that tale!' roared a man walking on the sidewalk. Unlike the men that preceded him outside, he didn't wear grimy overalls and thick woollen caps, but a handsome, black, tailor-made suit that was probably worth a year's wages from the men he employed. Severus' heart skipped a beat as he recognized the manager of the factory: John Evans. He'd seen him walking with her and another girl, buying trinkets from local shops, laughing with the lot of them. He was her father. The girl who flew from the trees.
Severus had to think quickly. It was around eight o'clock, his father worked a late shift, however, so he'd be home by nine. His mother didn't give a Kneazle's arse as to where he was. He had an hour before consequences struck.
He started sprinting.
Most men of Evans' status would use cars, but fortunately, he seemed to live close enough to the factory that he deemed it was walkable. He continued up the lane, merrily chatting with his co-workers in similar suits of varying shades until her turned a corner and bid them farewell. Severus followed him discreetly. The pair had finally reached a neighbourhood that screamed wealth and prosperity; tree-lined streets leading to large Tudor-style houses with expansive yards behind them. Evans had reached the last house on the block and walked in. Swiftly, Severus found a bush right outside a window and crouched, watching, waiting.
He could hear indistinct voices within the house, a grown woman's and a girl's. Peering behind the leaves, he saw a girl with short black hair and an unusually long neck setting the dinner table, while the woman with red hair and a round face (who Severus assumed was her mother), brought out dishes from the kitchen and set them down on the table. Next, John Evans walked in, his suit replaced by a t-shirt and trousers. They had all sat down, prepared to eat when they noticed they were a member short. Her mother hollered up the stairs (or he assumed she did, as he couldn't hear anything), and there she was. The girl.
It was hard to decide why he felt so drawn to her. Perhaps it was her wavy ginger hair or her silky sundress. But Severus' focus landed on her eyes. Even from such a distance, he could see their striking green pupils, reminding him of forests and nature and places he wished to escape to. They danced with laughter, each so distinctly hypnotizing that he almost exited the bush to watch closer, but chided himself into staying within the confines of his hiding spot.
Watching the family eat dinner was a rather mundane show, but he'd sat there, waiting patiently, to see even a sliver of magic escape from her. Severus didn't know how much time had passed; he had no watch, no need of one really, because he never needed to be on time.
He saw them finally finishing their pudding, and getting up. Suddenly, he notices the girl and her sister pulling at their mother's dress, obviously begging for something. She sighs, and responds. Delight spreading across their faces, the girls run out of the dining room. Curious, Severus creeped out of the bush and flitted to the other end of the yard. Craning his neck, he could see both girls running outside, one chasing the other. He hid behind the tall fencing and watched.
"Can't catch me Tuney!" yelled the girl. Tuney. Her sister's name.
"Get back here Lily!" her sister yelled back, panting as she tried to keep up with the pixie-like girl.
Lily. Severus tried the name on his tongue. Lillllyyy. Lillllyyyy Evaaaannssss.
It was beautiful.
Then, he heard Tuney scream. Whipping his head, he saw Lily running fast. Very fast. Faster than any normal person could run. And then she was flying. She ran so fast that her legs carried her off the ground and she ascended into an ark, gracefully landing on the roof of their deck.
"Get down from there Lily! You'll get hurt! Mummy said no!" Tuney screamed at her.
"You just want to tag me don't you?" Lily countered, giggling madly.
"Get down or I'm calling daddy!" Tuney hollered back. Apparently, this was a larger threat than Severus first thought, as Lily, poutingly, jumped back down to the ground, smooth as a dandelion. Ignoring Tuney's look of mixed rage and horror, she stalked back into the house. Fuming, her sister followed her.
That was it. The proof. She was one of them. a witch. A witch who had surprising control over her powers, considering where she came from. Severus couldn't stop grinning. He glanced back at the house, realised that he probably won't see her again today, and started the walk home, a little bounce in his gait.
***
It was dark out by the time Severus reached the edge of Spinner's End. Streetlights flickered feebly above him as he walked down the lane to number 56. He hesitated. He didn't know what time it was, though, by the sky above him, it was clearly late. Not wanting to risk it, he ran to the side of the brick building and unearthed a rusty, ancient ladder. Carefully propping it against the wall, he carefully climbed the rungs, skipping the ones that squeaked and creaked, until he reached the window of his room. He slowly raised the glass, his lean, malnourished frame easily slipping in.
Severus had just sat on his bed, humming to himself (which, were it not for the circumstances of that day, would have been extremely abnormal), removing his trainers, when a woman Apparated in front of him.
Were it not for the fact that this had been a regular occurrence since his birth, Severus would have screamed in terror. Regardless, he flinched as his mother glowered at him.
"Do you have any idea," she hissed through gritted teeth, "how late you are, Severus?"
Severus looked at her, unmoving. He had long since stopped trying to please his mother, and today was no different. He looked back at his feet and started to peel his socks off.
Her eyes narrowed to slits, before she slipped her wand out of her gown and flicked it to the door, muttering "imperturbus". Severus gulped. He knew what was coming now.
"DO YOU HAVE THE FAINTEST CLUE WHAT TIME IT IS?" she screamed at him. She flicked her wand again and light blazed through his cramped room, illuminating the clock hanging above the door. Eleven-thirty. His heart was hammering now.
"WHERE ON EARTH HAVE YOU BEEN YOU DIM-WITTED IDIOT?" she screamed again. Her bosom was heaving. Severus glared defiantly.
"I fancied a walk," he said. He knew it was stupid, but he was too tired to make a believable excuse. His mother looked at him, anger and disappointment dancing in her eyes. Then, she let out a long-suffering sigh.
"No dinner. Brush your teeth and sleep. And you're grounded for the rest of the week."
Severus didn't argue. It was, by a large margin, more mercy than she ever showed him. He looked at her shrewdly.
"Dad's drinking again, isn't he?" he asked. His mother gripped her wand tightly, her fingers whitening over the black wood.
"Brush. Sleep."
Then, a loud banging emanated from the thin wall of his bedroom. His mother's face paled, and a moment later his did as well.
"Ellie? ELIIE? OPEN THIS DAMN DOOR!!" a man screamed from the other end. Severus knew he just tried to ram himself into the door, but his mother's Imperturbable Charm was too strong, and he heard him knocked down, cursing loudly. His mother, looking petrified, muttered something and flicked her wand to the door again. She lifted the Charm. Severus looked at her, betrayal etched on his face. But she didn't notice; she only had eyes for the man who just blasted his way into the room.
He had greasy, unkempt black hair, which hung over his face like a veil. His large nose and seedy black eyes completed the look of a man who looked dangerous when provoked. Severus could see a bottle in the man's left hand and cursed silently
"You," Severus' father drawled. Severus scurried to the corner of his room, his fists bared in defense. It was pointless, however, as his father took a fistful of Severus' hair and slammed him into the wall. Severus saw stars circling his head.
"Shoulda dropped you off at the firehouse when I had the chance!" he roared into Severus's face, spittle coming out of his mouth, "Where were you, freak? Where were you?!
"Not at a friend's, surely," he said with a wide grin, "Made sure of that didn't you Sevvie? Made sure you were dirty and rude and quiet, made sure my lot never saw you as nothing more than an insolent little brat. So I ask again, where were you?"
"B-B-Burbury Lane," Severus stammered, eyes still wide on his father.
"Burbury Lane," his father slurred, trying to process it, "You went 6 kilometers from Spinner's End in the dead of night, to what? Watch the daisies bloom on those mowed lawns?"
Severus didn't say a word. His mother looked at him, her eyes boring into his, like she was trying to view his soul. Her eyebrows raised a bit, but she didn't speak.
"All right. I've had enough of this," his father said. He dropped the bottle with a clunk and unlooped his belt. Severus blanched. His mother made a strangled move towards his father but he gave her a look. She backed away into the wall.
He looked at Severus, eyes burning with hate, before he whipped his hand and sent the belt at Severus' cheek. He yelled and brought his hands above his face. Then a scream echoed across the room.
It wasn't Severus.
He opened his eyes to see a shallow cut across his father's cheek, red dripping from it. Severus stood there, unharmed. His mother's eyes darted between them in shock, her wand nowhere to be seen. His father looked murderous.
"You dare use those freak abominations against me boy?" he asked in a deadly tone. His mother finally spoke up.
"T-Toby, I told you he can't control it. No wizard or witch-"
"WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT USING THOSE WORDS IN MY HOUSE?" Severus' father roared, and he slapped his mother hard across the cheek. She stared at him, tears welling in her dark eyes.
"But, if you're so proud of it Ellie," his father drawled, a maniacal, drunk gleam in his eye, "why don't you show us how witches and wizards punish their children."
Severus didn't seem to understand. No more, it seemed, than his mother.
"Dear?" she asked tenatively. Severus' father walked towards her, with an almost tender grace. He twined his hand into hers, and pulled out her wand from a pocket in her dressing gown. With his hand still twisted in hers, he pulled the wand up and pointed it at Severus. His mother gasped, and started violently shaking her head at him.
"No, NO Tobias I won't!" she cried. He looked at her appraisingly.
"You won't, Ellie?" he said dangerously. With one hand, he casually wrapped it around her neck, and gently squeezed, "You won't?"
Severus' mother looked like she was about to cry. Her hand shook, and she looked Severus dead in the eye. It wasn't a look of apology, or fear. It was resignation. She couldn't help it. She had to do it. For them. For him.
Severus' father tightened his grip on her neck, and she closed her eyes, and muttered something under her breath. A bolt of yellow light shot from her wand onto Severus' face. He roared in pain as his face burned and swelled, making him look bloated and unnatural.
"Good girl," he heard his father croon. He couldn't see a thing, his large cheeks obscuring his vision. A Stinging Hex. He heard loud, racking sobs from his mother. The sound receded as presumably, his parents left the room. The light in his room was also extinguished.
Severus stayed on the floor like that for at least ten minutes, before resigning to the fact that his mother wouldn't return to un-hex him. He stood up, and felt his way to his bed. Without undressing, he fell on the covers, and sobbed till daybreak.
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