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#there are people that I'll never see again because of my sexuality
somerandomdere · 3 days
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Yandere! actor x crew member! g/n reader
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tags: fluff, slight? yandere themes (duh), you can tell I don't know much about how hollywood scandal works, it's my first fic pls feedback
Fame was everything to Gabriel, it's been his whole life. He was a nepo baby, he has seen the cameras the moment he was born. Blessed with a good face, filthy rich parents, and a flirtatious personality, he was everything ladies wanted in a man.
Until everything came crashing down.
He got into a huge scandal he wasn't even aware of. He was accused of sexually harassing a fellow co actress, when in fact he never laid a finger on her. Sure, he was a well known celebrity and has a history of sleeping around, but that doesn't mean he will force himself on someone without consent!
The scandal got so big he was defamed everywhere. His sponsors withdrew, his parents and friends wanted to cut ties with him, and his girlfriend cussed him out before leaving.
It wasn't him! But at this point, no one believed in him. He started being depressed, having suicidal thoughts, and contemplating on quitting his dream career.
Enter you. Beautiful, radiant you.
After a long day of carrying heavy sets and helping out around the set. You were exhausted, so you went out to breathe some fresh air and smoke. As you lit up your cigarette, the main actor of your current show, Gabriel, seemed to be crying. You wanted to smoke, but you couldn't just leave a crying man alone! and you did want some privacy while taking a puff
"Hey... you alright?" You genuinely asked.
You didn't know much about Gabriel's scandal, since you weren't very interested in the affairs of celebrities and thought that fans should just mind their own business.
And you were just here to make extra money, what's the worst that could happen? You'll be gone in no time anyways. He'll just quickly forget you.
"Hey um..." You started awkwardly, and cleared your throat. "I may not be the best person that can comfort, but you can talk to me. I'll listen."
You thought he would be suspicious of you, because of his celebrity status, but he ranted to you and cried. How he was misunderstood. How the people closest to him never believed in him. How he felt so hopeless after he lost everything.
You reached out to touch his hand. You let him know you understood. How painful this period of life will be and how it will all be fine after.
You told him to take a look around him. Look through a different scope, see the people who actually cares for him. You told him how your uncle never believed any of those rumors and took advantage of this to hire him.
He teared up, not from self pity this time, but from realisation. Maybe he should abandon those people who never saw his true self anyways. For the first time, he looked into your eyes. The sunlight danced over your eyes, it reminded him of the warmth his parents used to give him, before they got too busy.
Maybe that's when he fell for you. He couldn't really point out when he fell head over heels, but he can kinda figure he feelings sprouted here.
He came back, stronger than ever. His acting caused your uncle's movie grossing to skyrocket. It hit the box office, everyone was talking about his movie through social media, how he so accurately acted his role, to the point they shivered. He decided to take this opportunity to clear his name. Due to the how overwhelmingly successful his new movie was, people decided to believe him.
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"Y/N! My name was cleared!" He squealed into the phone. You sincerely felt happy for him and offered to celebrate with him.
He wouldn't let this opportunity go without a waste! He immediately said yes. He wanted to see your beautiful face again, and finally ask you out.
He will finally be yours, and you will finally be his.
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My inspos on how to write fics (and my fav fic writers!) PLS PLS PLS PLS GIVE ME FEEDBACKKK
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koa-z · 3 months
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I like girls.
I wish I didn't.
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ineffable-romantics · 9 months
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Some thoughts on why and how I believe Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship would incorporate sex/why I do not read them as wholly asexual:
This is something I've seen the most discourse about in this fandom, and I've had a few thoughts of my own that I really wanted to expand upon in a full meta/character analysis post. I do understand that this can be a contentious topic, so first, let me clarify a few things:
First of all, this is going to be long. Tbh it probably won't be that organized either. I ramble and I'm not very good at editing, so just... you know. Be warned. (*Hi, it's me from 2 days after writing this; I'm really not kidding, it's LONG)
These are all my own thoughts. They might not be hot takes, because recently I've seen more than a few people come to the same conclusions on a lot of these points as I have. But I've also had these notes in my drafts for about a week and a half now, and have been continuously adding to it as things have occurred to me. This post is essentially just somewhere for me to collect the separate but related meta I've been kicking around in my head.
I fully respect anyone who does see and prefer an asexual reading of this relationship. These are my own thoughts and interpretations as someone who is not asexual. I am in the LGBT+ community, so while I do know a few things about the asexuality spectrum, I am by no means an expert.
This is NOT something I expect, need, or even necessarily want the show (or, God forbid, Neil's tumblr ask box) to address. Tonally, it's just not that kind of show. Newt and Anathema's sex scene was very much played for laughs, and it worked for that reason. If the show found a way to address it in a way that was both appropriate for the tone of the show and ultimately satisfying, then great! But there is so much more to this relationship than sex, and I didn't need a kiss to confirm their love, so I certainly don't need a sex scene. As immortal beings (as I assume they'll stay) there is so much of the rest of their lives we'll never get to see. You can headcanon them as asexual and potentially be right. I can headcanon them as not and be equally potentially right. Again, these are just a collection of my own thoughts, because I think the question of sexuality (or lack thereof) is just as interesting a facet of these characters as any other.
Note: Tbh I've been second-guessing this whole post and debated deleting the whole thing several times for being silly or unnecessary, bc I don't want anyone to think that this is the only thing I care about when it comes to this story/characters. But if nothing else, it's inspired me to write in a way that nothing has in a very long time, so I've decided it's worth continuing, if for no other reason than that.
This is going to be a mixed bag of textual reading, subtextual reading, and a full-on reach or two. It's been a while since I've been in an English class, but if my teachers expected me to find a deeper meaning behind blue curtains, you can expect me to read too deeply into the symbolism of a loaded rifle or an ox rib. (This is probably not what my professors had in mind when grading my literary analysis papers but oh well) My point is, if it feels like a reach, I'm as aware of it as you are. I am in no way saying that all (or even any) of my points made were deliberate on the part of Neil or the actors or the writers or the directors. I am no longer the delulu Apple Tree Yard child of my youth, I promise.
If anything said here is in any way offensive or hurtful to anyone in the asexual community, please do not hesitate to message me or comment and let me know exactly what it was. I promise you it is not my intention to do so, and am happy to clarify or outright edit anything that reads that way.
With all that being said, let's talk about why I think Crowley and Aziraphale would absolutely fuck nasty incorporate sex into their relationship.
Note: I am out of practice with essay writing, so I think I'll just go down the bullet points of notes I have been making, and expand on each as best I can
Food
Where better to start than with Aziraphale's introduction to Pleasures Of The Flesh? (Just a heads up, this entire post may feel very Aziraphale-heavy, and with good reason).
This might be the least hot take here. We've all seen the Job minisode. We've all seen That Scene.
Whether this was intentional or not, the symbolism here is off the charts. Eve was tempted by an apple. So why not go a similar route and tempt Aziraphale with another fruit, or cheese, or bread, or literally anything else for his first experience with food? Instead, we go with a huge, glistening slab of fresh meat that he proceeds to absolutely go feral upon, moaning and gasping into his meal while Crowley watches with what definitely doesn't look to be disgust or even satisfaction with a good temptation. There's surprise at the ferocity of Aziraphale's appetite, certainly. But ultimately he looks to be intensely fascinated by it, while the thunder crashes, the music crescendos, and the earth literally shakes around them.
(It's also interesting to note how very little it takes for Crowley to tempt him with the ox rib. One murmured suggestion, a bit of unwavering eye contact, and vavoom Aziraphale immediately meets him in the middle.)
Cut to Aziraphale devouring the rest of the meat with Crowley splayed back on a makeshift bed, drinking wine and continuing to watch him indulge through half-lidded eyes. Outside a thunderstorm rages while they're learning secrets about each other in warm flickering firelight. It's cosy, it's intimate, and if they'd thrown in a bearskin throw blanket, it might as well be a post-coital scene straight out of Game of Thrones.
The next time (chronologically) we see them discuss food is when Aziraphale "tempts" Crowley with oysters in Rome. So Crowley first tempts Aziraphale with meat and then Aziraphale tempts Crowley with what is widely regarded to be an aphrodisiac. Interesting.
And then chronologically after that, the Arrangement begins to form, which has always reeked of a friends with benefits situation. Just to throw that in there.
It's What Humans Do
In the very first episode, we're shown Gabriel's obvious disgust and bewilderment towards Aziraphale eating sushi, calling it "gross matter" and being proud of the fact that he does not sully his body with it. Aziraphale initially tries to defend his own enjoyment in it, before passing it off as something that humans do, as something he simply has to do in order to blend in (which we know very well is not the case).
He does this again in season 2, passing off Nina and Maggie being in love as "something humans do". But it isn't, is it? Angels are beings of love, and can sense it, and understand very well what it is... up to a point. Even romantic love is obviously within their wheelhouse, given what we now know happened between Gabriel and Beelzebub (we'll come back to them).
What the "humans do" that angels wouldn't understand is messy, physical forms of love.
But here's the thing: Aziraphale and Crowley love doing what the humans do. They love drinking, they (or at least Aziraphale) love eating. They love music. Crowley loves driving and sleeping and watching rom-coms and sitcoms. Aziraphale loves reading and doing magic and earning little licenses and certificates for achievement in his various hobbies. They love to playact at being human so much that they've stopped playacting and started building a genuinely human lifestyle for themselves and with each other.
Once together in an unambiguously romantic sense, why do we think they wouldn't also want to explore one of the most prominent, intimate, powerful human expressions of love and desire with each other?
Angels, Demons, & Asexuality
Here's where I really want to clarify that in no way do I mean that sex is necessary for a healthy, fulfilling, and loving romantic relationship, or that the lack of desire for sex makes you any less human. Asexuality is a sexuality as valid and human as any. What I would say is that it is definitely in the human minority compared to allosexuality.
Angels and demons, on the other hand, are predominately asexual. Sexless/genderless unless Making An Effort. (Which, btw, is a concept introduced as early as the original book; why even bring it up as a possibility? Why not keep angels/demons being sexless/asexual as a hard and fast rule, if not to open up the potential for later use? Chekhov's Effort, if you will. And isn't that something that Aziraphale in particular is shown to do time and time again? He makes an effort in French and driving and magic, doesn't he?)
And this is why I don't believe Aziraphale and Crowley necessarily need to be asexual, narratively. There is already a huge amount of ace rep within the angels and demons (and no, not just the horrible ones. Muriel also doesn't "drink the tea" and has no reason or desire thus far to Make An Effort, and there are certainly other angels and demons who aren't horrible like the archangels seem to be who likely wouldn't Make An Effort either).
The central conflict for Aziraphale and Crowley is that they are on their own side, the ones who went native, the ones who are so different in so many ways from their respective hives. It would make sense for them to also break away from traditional angel/demon asexuality.
I say "traditional angel/demon asexuality", because I would also like to note that I would absolutely not rule out demisexuality for either of them. This post is being written to as a response to people who specifically believe that they (like the rest of the angels/demons seem to be) would be sex-averse in a relationship, and that it wouldn't be a factor in their relationship. I could easily read them as demisexual, but I do think there would be no real way of verifying this, because they've never been able to form as close an emotional relationship with anyone else but each other. Certainly not in heaven, and I can't imagine they would be able to form that kind of attachment with any of the humans, who they love and emulate but ultimately regard as the separate species they are. So yes, they could either be allosexual or demisexual, in my opinion.
Then again, now that I think about it, Making An Effort itself could be a great metaphor for demisexuality, since they would be entirely sexless/asexual until they have enough of an emotional connection with someone to consciously manifest otherwise. Since the other angels and demons don't generally form those types of emotional connections with anyone, there hasn't been a precedent for it.
Except...
Brielzebub
We do have a precedent for it now, don't we? Gabriel and Beelzebub fell in love. They are a direct foil for Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship, speedrunning right through their courtship and finding their happily ever after on the other side of things.
For being such a 1 to 1 comparison, it feels deliberate that they did not kiss. They held hands, they were gooey with each other, but they did not kiss. That feels like such a deliberate thing to omit when you know what's to come at the end of the episode between Crowley and Aziraphale.
And going back to the food = sex metaphor for a moment, let's notice how even as they fell in love over the years, even when pints and crisps were there on the table in front of them, they never felt the desire to reach out for them. They didn't need to. It's a date (love story) even if you aren't eating dinner (sleeping together).
Yes, I know Jim liked hot chocolate. No, I am not counting it because I don't consider Jim and Gabriel to be the same person with the same proclivities, and Jim was highly suggestible at the time anyway.
Gabriel and Brielzebub's big happily ever after moment (as of now) was one between two asexual supernatural beings. They did not need to kiss to drive the point home. They showed what Crowley and Aziraphale could have, if they would only acknowledge it.
Crowley & Aziraphale's Dissatisfaction
But they do have that already, don't they? If you really think about it, what do Gabriel and Beelzebub do with each other that Crowley and Aziraphale don't already? They hold hands, they spend time together, they create little rituals, they give gifts, they're visibly and verbally affectionate with each other, etc. They are more or less already in a romantic asexual marriage relationship with each other, aren't they?
And it doesn't seem to be enough for either of them.
At the beginning of the season, Crowley is immediately shown to be unsatisfied with the way things are. Obviously part of it comes from living in his car, but it seems to be more than that (especially since Aziraphale makes it clear that the bookshop is just as much Crowley's as his, implying that he could have been living there the whole time and is choosing not to, for some reason?). You could argue he's feeling unmoored without Hell telling him what to do, but isn't that what he wanted? Isn't that what he still wants, by the end of the season? All season long, he's never indicated the desire for a new job, or a new project. He stopped the apocalypse because he wanted the freedom to openly spend time with Aziraphale, to spend his time on Earth however he sees fit. Until Gabriel arrives, he has exactly that (minus a flat).
So where does the dissatisfaction come from? And if it represents anything to do with his relationship, what does he want out of it that he isn't getting already?
I think Crowley only really comes to the realisation of what he's missing when Nina names it for him, not only putting them in the category of romantic, but physical (outright asking if they are sleeping together). These two posts [1], [2] go into more detail about what I mean, but I think it really pushes him into acknowledging that their relationship is more human than either of them have stopped to consider, and what that might mean as far as everything a human relationship can entail.
After all, Nina and Maggie only advised that he should talk to Aziraphale, make clear his feelings. The decision to kiss him, to tip them over the edge from nonphysical to physical, that was all him. And no, kissing isn't sex, but I wonder how taboo even that might be in the kind of all-encompassing asexuality most angels seem to identify with. (If they're disgusted by food and drink, I can only imagine what they think of snogging, much less sex.)
Aziraphale doesn't have this moment of someone observing their relationship from the outside. He loves Crowley, and as of 1941 probably even knows he's in love with him in a way that Crowley doesn't understand yet. Which makes sense, since love is technically his job, he'd be more likely to recognise it for what it is.
However, Aziraphale's reference for romance and relationships is Jane Austen. It's chaste. It's dancing and dinner and doing sweet things for each other and roses and candles and handholding. He contextualises his love for Crowley in that soft fantasy sort of way, where it's there, it's obviously there, but it's neat and easy and unspoken. Not to quote Glee in this, the year of our lord 2023, but it's all very "the touch of the fingertips is as sexy as it gets".
Someone should tell that to Aziraphale's face, then.
I'm not going to pretend I know what Michael Sheen's script notes were, but there were definitely some Choices™ made. Because yes, there were plenty of moments in both seasons with Aziraphale looking at Crowley in a sweet, loving, smitten way. And then there were moments that were yearning.
But yearning for what, exactly? All of those sappy Jane Austen tropes already apply to the two of them. So why are there moments where Aziraphale is looking Crowley up and down like the last eclair in the window and licking his lips and visibly exhaling like he's trying to get in control of himself (see: Bastille scene + Crowley telling Muriel to ask him if they have any other questions about love)? Why is Aziraphale not only unconcerned when Crowley shoves him bodily up against a wall in s1, but staring at his lips and a beat too late in noticing Sister Mary's arrival? Why are some of his lines so suggestive? I'm sorry, but the car ride after the church explosion might as well have been the beginning of a Pizza Man porn with a really weird Blitz theme. If even my mother picked up on that vibe, I can't imagine it wasn't intentional on part of both the dialogue and the delivery.
(This section may feel like more of a reach/joke, but I'm really only 20% joking. These are writers and actors who are EXTREMELY good at their jobs; they know what they were doing here.)
More importantly, I don't think Aziraphale is even aware that there is more to what he wants. He lives in the Jane Austen fantasy and it never even occurs to him that he might be interested in anything further. It never even occurs to him that, as an angel, there is anything further to be interested in in the first place. Until Crowley forces it to occur to him. Just like I believe Nina forced Crowley to confront the idea that romantic love is what he's been feeling all along, I believe Crowley forced Aziraphale to confront the idea that physical intimacy is something he's been wanting, without even realising.
Aziraphale's Hedonism
Expanding on Aziraphale for a moment. We talked about his relationship with food, but we all know that Aziraphale is defined by his love of things that Feel Good.
It isn't just that he and Crowley love human things. Aziraphale loves the best of the best, or at least his version of it. He doesn't just love food, he loves going to fancy restaurants. He doesn't just love clothes, he loves soft, cosy, warm, plush clothes, or shiny, flashy, bougie fashion. He loves the warmth of tea and cocoa, loves getting drunk, and sitting in a comfy chair in the sunlight. He doesn't just experience, he indulges.
Given the emphasis put on things that Aziraphale loves just because they Feel Good, it feels narratively strange to assume that he wouldn't enjoy the feeling of being touched, or that he wouldn't be willing to try it, at least once, with someone he cared very deeply for. And just like the ox rib, I think that once he gets the first taste of things, he would absolutely tip over into complete and utter self-indulgence.
Dancing
I also think that dancing could be construed as a huge metaphor here. After all, we're told flat-out that angels don't Dance. Except one.
I would argue that Aziraphale, in fact, Made An Effort to learn how to Dance. He threw himself into the gavotte with delight (at a Victorian gay club; noted) and worked hard to be good at it. He's chomping at the bit to Dance with Crowley, working up the nerve to ask him with undeniably romantic intent and eagerness. So, angels don't Dance... unless they Make An Effort to do so.
We are told that demons, on the other hand, do Dance, but not well. Makes sense, since they're the ones who would want to encourage a deadly sin like lust, but have as little understanding of human love and physical intimacy as the angels. Crowley, however, is shown to be an excellent dancer at the ball, especially in his compatibility with Aziraphale.
(But Aziraphale WandaVisioned the ball so everyone knew how to dance! Yes, he did. However, the rest of the brainwashing doesn't seem to affect Crowley in any way, and they did actually live through the time period where this sort of dancing was a social norm; I'd be surprised if he never needed to learn. After all, the demons can't spell either, and Crowley is at least functionally literate, as far as we know.)
As of today, it's also been confirmed that when Aziraphale asked Crowley to dance, Crowley replied with "you don't dance." Not "WE don't dance". So going along with the metaphor, Crowley is just now discovering that Dancing is something Aziraphale is interested in at all, much less with him, and not denying that he himself is interested in Dancing. In his defense, I believe he was asleep for a few years while Aziraphale was learning the gavotte, so he wasn't exactly aware of Aziraphale's hot girl summer.
Love Languages
I want to expand on that; Crowley and Aziraphale's compatibility. Specifically in regards to their individual love languages.
We all know Crowley's love language is Acts of Service. I don't think there's any debate there. He loves it, Aziraphale loves it, they're both aware of it, we're all aware of it, God and Satan are aware of it, no surprise there.
You may disagree with me, but I believe Aziraphale's love language is Physical Touch, for a number of reasons. One of which being his aforementioned hedonism. Aziraphale likes things that Feel Good, remember? He likes soft clothes, and well-worn books. Neil himself has said that they like holding hands. And any time he is taken by surprise (Brielzebub getting together, the wave of love in Tadfield, etc.) what is the first thing he does? Reaches out for Crowley. He stops him with a hand to the chest in the pub. He leads him by the hand to the dance floor. He guides him by the waist in the graveyard. He reaches out during the entire Brielzebub scene, whether he can reach Crowley or not. Despite his own turmoil, he grasps at Crowley's back during the kiss.
The one time Crowley reaches out for him (not counting the kiss yet; we'll get there), he is aggressively pushed against a wall (by someone he loves and trusts) with a complete and utter lack of concern (and perhaps some interest, depending on how you read it).
And when he isn't reaching out for anyone, or there isn't anyone to reach out to? Well, he's wringing his own hands together, squeezing his own fingers, as if to find that physical comfort in himself.
So. With that theory in mind, we have Aziraphale (Physical Touch) + Crowley (Acts of Service). Throw in 6000+ years of deep love, cherished companionship, and forcibly repressed longing, and there is a very real potential of this combination resulting in fierce sexual compatibility. Where Aziraphale would want to touch and be touched, to indulge in physical pleasure with someone he adores, in the same the way he indulges in every other fine thing in his life. And where Crowley would want to indulge him in return, to give him everything he wants, and to take pleasure in Aziraphale's pleasure, in the same way he enjoys watching him take joy in food everything else.
So Aziraphale is an angel who is insecure about his own less-than-holy desires, who would want to treat Crowley like a luxury to be touched and cherished and adored. And Crowley is a demon who has, over the millennia, been unhappy about how they've been forced to deny even their friendship with each other, who would want Aziraphale to feel comfortable and safe and encouraged to indulge in earthly delights. That sounds like a stunning recipe for sexual compatibility to me.
"You said 'trust me'" / "And you did"
Just like the Job minisode, the Blitz is RIFE with symbolism (intentional or otherwise). This one will be quick, but I did want to touch on it because I thought it was interesting. Maybe I'm reaching at this point, but I'm assuming you read the tin.
First of all, Crowley not wanting to admit to never firing a gun before; comes off as someone who very much does not want to admit to their crush that they're a virgin ("You must have done this lots of times!" / "Umm.... yyyyyeah.")
(You could make the argument that Aziraphale having a firearms license and a Derringer in a hollowed-out book is symbolic of him not being a virgin while Crowley is. I disagree, for reasons I'll go into later, but it's a valid reading. However, I see it more like keeping a condom in your wallet; it's there in case you need it, but the opportunity has not yet risen no pun intended.)
More importantly, the theme of this entire minisode is trust. We already know they trust each other with their lives against the rest of Heaven, Hell, and the world. But specifically, this is about the importance of having complete trust in your partner in a charged, physically vulnerable, intimate moment, where the only danger is between the two of you.
Aziraphale needs to believe Crowley would never hurt him if he can help it. Crowley needs to trust Aziraphale's unwavering blind faith in him. Frankly, it all feels very symbolic of two people deeply in love losing their respective virginities with each other.
The trick is a success, and they share an intimate candlelit dinner in which they reaffirm their faith in each other. Aziraphale also begins to voice his agreement with Crowley, that maybe Heaven's rules shouldn't have to be as black and white as they are, and that there are benefits to... blurring the lines, shades of grey, wink wink (at which point even my mom was like, whoa guys, this is a family show).
Btw also: Can we all agree how much it looked like Crowley was getting ready to get a lapdance in that one scene? You know the one.
Also also: "Aim for my mouth"? Come on.
The Birds & The Bees
Now that I think of it, there's also something to be said for the fact that Crowley and Aziraphale are both obviously familiar with where babies come from (how they're made and how they're born) while the other angels aren't.
Something something Aziraphale and Crowley fundamentally understand sex and reproduction in a way the other angels (and probably demons) very much do not, nor have any desire to.
Probably not important. Just thought it was worth mentioning.
The Kiss™ & Religious Trauma
The Kiss. Where to even begin?
This has definitely been the hardest one to start, because there is so much going on here that I definitely won't be able to cover it all, and will certainly miss a few things here and there.
Aziraphale's reaction to the kiss afterwards is the most interesting to me. And I don't mean directly after, I don't mean the "I forgive you" part. I mean the way he touches his lips when Crowley is no longer in the room and he no longer needs to save face, when he is completely alone. Had it been directly after the kiss, it would have been rightfully read as horror, or disgust, a shield to discourage further action.
It's not. It isn't just a touch, it's a press. As desperate and angry and unexpected and imperfect as the kiss had been, Aziraphale is pressing it into himself, recreating the feeling as best he can. Beneath all the poor timing and shock and hurt from their fight and fallout, I think it's fair to say that it was something he enjoyed. Something he doesn't think he should enjoy, something that Feels Good that he only allows himself to indulge in when completely alone.
Remember, Aziraphale's idea of love is Jane Austen and gentleness and courtship and fantasy. If he'd ever even considered kissing an option, it might have been gentle pecks, cheek kisses, forehead kiss, hand kisses. Soft, safe, chaste affection.
Crowley's kiss turns all of that on its head. He introduces physical intimacy in a very real, very messy, very human way that I don't think Aziraphale ever even considered could apply to them. Considering what other angels are like and what they look down on, even Aziraphale's Jane Austen fantasies probably would have been considered taboo.
So for their first kiss to be rough and desperate and passionate in the way it was, of course he was confused and in shock. It was deeply physical, and as overwhelming and awful as it was in the moment, it Felt Good. Enough that he grasped at Crowley and kissed back, if only just for a moment, before stopping himself. Enough that he actively pressed it into his lips afterwards, in private, to remember.
I adore how Neil has decided to evolve these characters past the first book/season. More so in this season, Aziraphale and Crowley have both become such interesting allegories for queer people on either side of the spectrum of toxic religion. Aziraphale in particular obviously, because he is the side that so desperately wants to believe, to make a difference, and to unlearn all of the propaganda he's been fed over such a long time. Just like so much of organised religion, there is so much that he is told, time and time again, that he should not want, that he is silly or stupid or outright wrong for wanting. It reminds me so much of the severe Catholic guilt one might feel for wanting/engaging in sex for the first time, and the stigma of being queer layered on top of that.
What is so critical to Aziraphale's character is that he goes on wanting, and more than that, actively pursues. He was convinced to go up against Heaven and Hell and stop all of Armageddon because he wanted to go on listening to music and eating lunch and reading books and enjoying the simple company of the person he cares most deeply for, even if that person is supposed to be the enemy.
All this to say that if angels are as generally asexual/sex-averse as I believe them to be, narratively speaking, it would make sense for Aziraphale to be singular in that regard as well. Mirroring his first experience with food, it would make sense for Crowley to be the one to first introduce this new messy, physical, human dynamic between them, for Aziraphale to hesitate (obviously we are at the Hesitation phase at the moment), and then (eventually) for him to dive in wholeheartedly, to absolutely glut himself on this new thing that Feels Good. It would make sense for his character development to show him overcoming his metaphorical Catholic guilt and pursuing the sexual intimacy most (if not all) of the other angels would scorn.
(I can't help but remember that plot idea Neil described from the unwritten sequel, with Aziraphale in a hotel room trying to watch a full porno by way of the free 2-minute teaser clips so he wasn't technically sinning by paying for it. I so hope this is used in season 3, because gosh, I wonder why Aziraphale would suddenly be so interested in observing human physical intimacy after 6,000 years. Lonely and doing a little surreptitious research there, angel?)
Crowley, on the other hand, is the queer person who has broken free from his toxic religion. He prides himself on being his own person, on their his own side. He doesn't have the hang-ups Aziraphale does. He doesn't worry that he's going to be judged or cast aside for wanting things he's not supposed to. So it only makes sense for him to be the first one to suggest/initiate physical intimacy. It makes sense for him to be the one who "goes too fast" (another fantastic example of this dynamic beginning as early as s1; what is that conversation in the car meant to represent, if not Aziraphale being overwhelmed by the intensity of their relationship, and his fear of succumbing to it when he believes he shouldn't? It's also interesting that this is the first conversation to take place in Soho, just after watching Aziraphale realise he's caught feelings for a demon, with the red glow of lust serving as the backdrop).
Do I think the kiss in and of itself was sexual? No. I think it was a passionate and devastating last-ditch effort on Crowley's part to convey the way he feels for Aziraphale. Not just that he loves him, but that he loves him in the most human way possible. But I do think that the kiss represents how they can move forward from here, and what they might want to explore with each other once they feel free enough to do so.
In Conclusion
I am sure, deep in my bones (unless we are explicitly told otherwise), that this was both of their first kisses no, I'm not counting the gavotte, and that neither of them have ever thought to do anything else physical with the humans while they have been on Earth. Like I said before, they adore the human race and lifestyle in general, but ultimately view them as a separate species altogether, and they seem mostly happy to keep to themselves and each other, unless otherwise necessary. I just can't see either of them being drawn enough to a human to pursue anything close to sex. If Crowley in particular has had anything to do with sex in the context of temptations, I'm positive he would be inciting lust amongst the humans themselves, not involving himself directly. At least not that directly.
So, like every other human experience they've had on Earth, sex is something new that they could explore together, just the two of them, on their own side. A deeply intimate, tangible declaration of their love and everything they've gone through to earn it. A visceral finger to give both Heaven and Hell. A renewed appreciation for their corporations and for each other's. A enjoyable method for immortal beings to simply pass the time in each other's company. A new and exciting way to Feel Good, and all the variations that come with it.
You might agree with this post, or you might not. Whether this is something that is ever addressed or not, it doesn't matter to me. This is a brilliant love story either way, and I genuinely feel so privileged to witness it.
But I just can't find it in myself to imagine, given everything we know about these two characters, that sex isn't an experience they would both consume with wholehearted enthusiasm, curiosity, and profound, ineffable adoration.
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Bonus feature: the very silly notes I made to myself that inspired this post
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calisources · 2 months
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𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐔𝐀𝐋 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐒𝐄𝐗𝐔𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐐𝐔𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒.
All these quotes are taken from different works of fiction and depict sensual, sexual tension between two people in different scenarios. There are some that are suggestive while others are more detail so this meme is nsft and usft, please tag accordingly. Mentions of jealousy, possessiveness, sex, fantasies are all here. Change pronouns, names, locations as you see fit.
I knew the first moment I saw him that it was going to be raw, it was going to be ugly, and I was going to enjoy every damn minute of it.
You're still looking.
You make it hard to look away.
I'm over here keeping my hands and memories to myself because you asked me to, that’s not fair.
If you'd just man up and admit there's something between us, I would strip down to my skin so you could see every single inch of me.
How long are you going to make me wait?
How awfully presumptuous of you to think I'd let you.
You missed my arrogance almost as much as I missed your impudence, little one.
You said not to fall for you. Did you change your mind?
We both needed to blow off some steam, and we did, right?
They say the colour of a lady’s lips is an exact match to another region on the body?
You're too soft.
Can we go back to making out now?
You sound jealous.
Then tell me this is what you truly want. Swear you want this more than anything else and I'll never mention it again.
If you want me to play the bawd, at least give me the benefit of your advice.
Tell me how it's done. Do you think she'd like it if I came to her like this, if I looked deeply in to her eyes?
And then like this? Is this how I ought to seduce her?
You're wet, aren't you?
You drove me mad.
She asked me not to be gentle with her, either,I would have been gentle with you, though.
I would have had you moaning my name throughout it all. And I would have taken a very, very long time, Feyre.
I'm all yours to look at, you know.
You need to let me go, darling, before we start something I intend to finish.
Feel free to touch, darling. It's all yours.
. . .I hate you.
Say it again.
Grind it. Nice and fine.
I gave him a few smiles and he handed over a family heirloom. I bet he'd give me the keys to his territory if I showed up wearing those undergarments.
Why shouldn't I? You seem to have difficulty not staring at me day and night.
Am I supposed to deny, that I find you attractive?
Is that a challenge, Feyre?
Do you think it's fair that you have seen every inch of me, and I have seen none of you?
Move with me now.
Touch me anywhere you please.
I want you to make love to me.
Do you know what that truly means?
You do know? You know that I will be inside you and that I will move inside you, until we are both mad from pleasure?
I want you inside me.
You have three minutes to get ready now.
I did dream about you. I didn’t want to, but I did.
What was I doing in your dreams?
Someone is watching us through the window.
All the more reason to put on a good show.
You're not in a position to make demands.
The best things are found in the most secret places.
And you are a beautiful, sexy temptress who is about to be fucked by a man who wants her so desperately he's willing to do anything to have her.
When I'm with a woman, it's not me doing the begging.
You're rubbing yourself all over me. What did you think was going to happen?
I thought you were all about self-control.
I remember how powerful those thighs are.
You are more beautiful than I imagined.
And your skin... Christ, it shimmers like gold.
I'm naked underneath.
Tell me----did it get you off knowing I was watching?
I want to take you under the moonlight.
Please, don’t stop.
Oh, so I shouldn’t? That would be cruel of me, wouldn’t it?
I am the cruelest man you will ever meet, but, I will make you feel so good, you will not care.
I’ve never been with a man before.
You do bad things to me, Carrie. Very bad things.
And you, Miss, are no lady.
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emilybeemartin · 2 months
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A whopping, like, 2.6 people have expressed interest in my recent adventures in watching Bean films, which is all the encouragement I need to present to you:
An Incomplete Guide to Sean Bean Roles (Investigation Ongoing)
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Our guy has a vast filmography, and I'm not even close to being halfway through it, but I've watched a lot of his significant ones in the past few weeks thanks to a perfect storm of illness, injury, and lapses in client work. Crucially, I have created superlatives for a variety of them and present them here for your benefit. Disclaimer: many of these films are violent! Or have butts and/or tits! Some have dick! Some have dated bits that didn't age well! So, if you have triggers or are watching with young viewers, do your research first! Also, these are just the opinions of one solitary millennial! Nothing is objective! Nothing is real! I care not!
Okay, CYA done, let's begin. I'll get the two most obvious ones out of the way up front, otherwise they'll dominate half the categories:
ACT I
Greatest Bean: Fellowship of the Ring. I've said it before and I'll say it again, he achieved more pathos with Boromir than a lot of his other roles have allowed for, and every note he hits just sings. No debate.
Best Bean for Your Buck: Sharpe. For the best confluence of quantity, quality, physicality, emotion, humor, and action, you can't beat Richard Sharpe.
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Favorite Dramatic Bean: Time; he earned that BAFTA fr
Softest Bean: The first date scene in Stormy Monday, where Brendan shyly gets to know Kate, slow dances with her, lends her a shirt and strokes her back after she asks if they can just go to sleep instead of have sex.
Most Dashing Bean: Vronsky in Anna Karenina, that uniform cuts, damn
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Swooniest Bean: I know I'm supposed to say Chatterley, and he is undeniably sexy as Mellors, but there are parts where his character is actually kind of off-putting. I'll lay a good chunk of the blame on the weirdly ominous score, the very of-the-time depiction of dubious consent, and Joely Richardson's tendency to look like she's having the worst time of her life while shagging the hot gamekeeper. No, I'm giving this category to Stormy Monday again. He's just so gentle and genuine in this one, without some of the obligatory "heartthrob" overtones of his nineties stuff. He never raises his voice at Kate or manhandles her. He really does feel like some kid who just wants to be sweet to his girlfriend.
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Laddiest Bean: When Saturday Comes, specifically the strip club and bathtub scenes.
Favorite Sad Bean: As a collective, he has some great grief scenes in World on Fire, but! The railroad track scene in When Saturday Comes?! That was RAW.
Favorite Mad Bean: Black Death; there are plenty of movies where he doesn't smile at all, but unlike some others, his grimness and anger felt proportionate to the story, rather than just rage because he's good at rage.
Favorite Bad Bean: There are so many great Bean villains (Goldeneye, obvs), but I think my favorite is Patriot Games. Bonus points for all the different hairstyles he has in this film (long locks-shag-shag ponytail!-buzz-wet spiky buzz). Also HUGH FRASER AAAA
Favorite Dad Bean: Wolfwalkers, where Bill Goodfellowe literally turns his own convictions and beliefs upside-down in order to protect and support his daughter.
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INTERMISSION
A note on GoT: I haven't watched it. When season one was first coming out, it was during a time where I really couldn't handle watching any kind of sexual assault onscreen, and while I have a higher tolerance now, I just... don't want to. I like seeing gifs of Ned Stark and appreciate that it's one of his great roles, but I just can't make myself take the plunge.
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ilysm you grizzled dead wolf man
ACT II
Favorite Costumed Bean: Odysseus in Troy: curls, leather, thighs.
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Favorite Un-Costumed Bean: He strips in quite a lot of his films, so let's give it to Lady Chatterley for sheer screentime, exertion, and the bonus of being naked and wearing a flower crown. Honorable mention to When Saturday Comes for the totally not homoerotic amount of butts and also dick in the locker room bathtub scene.
Hurtin'est Bean: Bravo Two Zero. Oof, don't watch this one if you have an aversion to seeing pain, although---you're a Sean Bean fan, and we all know one of his MOs is being GREAT at pain. This one was directed by Tom Clegg, who directed Sharpe. Also lol at the sickle-shaped wound on his shoulder, which is covering his 100% Blade tattoo (he gets a lot of sickle-shaped wounds on his left shoulder).
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Best Inside References: The Frankenstein Chronicles, where he plays a former Peninsular soldier, and every reference to his service is a reference to Sharpe, including shots of his greenjacket, pistol, sword, and flogging scars. Honorable mention to The Martian for the Council of Elrond line.
Most Unsettling Bean: Cleanskin for moral grayness, The Frankenstein Chronicles for body horror
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Most Inefficient Use of Bean: Black Beauty. Despite getting high billing he's only onscreen for about two minutes and I'm convinced the long shots are a body double. Criminal.
Biggest Missed Opportunity: We were robbed of a Sean Bean Odyssey. R o b b e d
Funniest Bean: Deploying Bean for comedy is woefully underused, but he made full use of his ~15 seconds in The Vicar of Dibley ("Spring" episode). He's also hilarious in Wasted, though I haven't watched the show, only the clips he's in on YouTube, where he plays a mock version of himself serving as a spirit guide for a stoner. IMO, though, Sharpe gives him the most room for humor.
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Favorite Character Quirk: In World on Fire, when Douglas is having WWI flashbacks and really coming apart, he kept putting his hand to his mouth. My modern brain first read this as talking into a phantom radio, but of course that wasn't right, and then I realized--he was reaching for a phantom gas mask. CHILLS. AMAZING. (Honorable mentions to the Mouth Rub and the Tongue Thing [pictured above]).
Most Nostalgic Bean: National Treasure. The concept may be utter silliness, but you have to admit, this is a fun movie to watch.
Best Dismount from a Horse: Henry VIII, he goes pshwing out of the saddle
Best Swordplay: You may think there's no possible answer to this, but there is---two moments, specifically: the preparatory sword-spin he does at Balin's tomb just before the goblin attack in Moria, and the four lunges he does at 1:26:22 of Sharpe's Battle. It's just facts.
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Prettiest Bean Film: Wolfwalkers, hands downnnn
Favorite Bean Death: All right, you knew we had to eventually end here. It's Boromir, obviously--- nothing tops that. But if we're looking at other roles, I think Patriot Games is my favorite, followed by Goldeneye.
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So! That concludes this installment of Bean films, though I'll be continuing the labor, and I hope you will, too. What are your favorites?
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neptuneiris · 6 months
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True Intentions | (One-shot)
Be the only one or be an 'sometimes'?
pairing: modern!aemond (best-friend brother) × fem!reader
summary: even knowing his reputation, you've always had a little secret crush on the most popular boy in school, Aemond Targaryen, until it becomes impossible to hide it when your brother Cregan makes friends with him and you begin to see him more frequently.
word count: 9.0k
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I'm very excited about this!
I hope you really like it, I loved writing this even though it took me a while, but here it is finally:) comments and reblogs are appreciated beautiful people, thank you so much for reading!❤
warning's: language, slight angst, mention of alys, sexual content, spanking.
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You always hated it when your brother Cregan brought his friends over to your house when your parents were away, whether it was to watch soccer games, play video games or have some fun at the pool.
You especially were never the type of sister to bring friends over, rather you were the type of sister who preferred to go to friends' houses, as you never mentioned your house as an option.
It just wasn't comfortable for you.
And apparently it wasn't enough for your brother and his friends to see each other almost daily at school that they also had to go to your house.
But you couldn't really do anything, he's the older brother and it wouldn't make any difference to accuse him to your parents since logically there's nothing wrong with him inviting his friends over, besides they work almost all the time and probably wouldn't make a big deal out of it.
So you can only lock yourself in your room with food as a provision, put on your AirPods and wait for them to leave.
And that's what you do, all the while Cregan and his friends prowl around your house. But you reach your breaking point when again Cregan plans a pool party.
"Are you serious?" you inquire, clearly annoyed, "I swear to God, Cregan, this is not going to happen again."
"Oh come on," he gives you a tired look, tossing balloons and animal inflatables into the pool, "Live a little, sis."
"No! You always do this, the same old shit!"
You reproach him as you follow him back into the house, where at the kitchen island is a stack of beers that he begins to store in the fridge completely disinterested to your clear dissatisfaction with it all, as he just doesn't care.
"Last time everyone was coming into the house like it was nothing to leave the whole floor wet, they also left a mess all over the kitchen, pool and garden," you remind him annoyed, "Not to mention we had complaints from the neighbors for all the fuss you made."
"Fucking Hell, will you relax? I'll take care of everything," he says looking at you wearily, only increasing your anger more, "The guys won't be long and I needed everything to be ready."
"That's what you always say but I'm the one who ends up cleaning everything up in and I'm the one who deals with the neighbors because of you fucking fault!"
"Fine!" he exclaims in exasperation, looking at you, "You have my word, I'll take care of everything this time, yeah?"
He looks at you seriously to get back to dealing with the beers, but you don't believe half a word he says.
"Now do you want to help me turn on the pool lights? Also lock the upstairs doors, just in case."
You slowly shake your head in his direction with your arms crossed with your completely serious and annoyed look in his direction.
"You're unbelievable, you know that?"
You don't wait for him to say anything back nor do you say anything else, you just annoyingly turn around and walk upstairs to your room, preparing to be another long night confined to your four walls.
And this is what happens every time your parents aren't home, having to put up with the liberties Cregan takes to do whatever he pleases around the house.
It's not until one day when you get home from your music lessons at almost seven o'clock that when you open your front door, you hear a lot of voices and laughter.
During the week he usually doesn't invite anyone over, except for a few times he invites the Velaryon brothers, Jace and Luke, over to play video games after school.
The weekend is when it really bothers you that he throws big parties without your parents knowing.
You close the door hard enough to announce your arrival and look into the living room as you head for the stairs, when then, you see them.
And they see you too.
With handsome faces and infectious smiles, besides their unusually silver hair and blue eyes that steal the breath of every girl in the school, Aegon and Aemond Targaryen, the kings of the whole school and also the most players, are in your living room having a few beers and smoking with Cregan.
And Cregan is the first to react.
"Guys, the lady of the house is here," he says, "So let's take this to the pool, shall we? Before she starts screaming."
You watch him with a completely serious look on your face as you see Aegon let out a small chuckle to himself. And without a word, you avert your gaze and continue on your way to the stairs, feigning disinterest.
And just like all the other girls at your school, you can't help but feel equally captivated and attracted to him, Aemond.
However, you don't leave without one last look at him, Aemond Targaryen.
From your single couch and with a cigarette between his long fingers, gives you back an intense and burning look that makes you feel a strange sensation all over your body.
But it's not something you really go around telling everyone, let alone something you want your brother to know now that he's apparently become friends with him.
However, you should have expected him to notice.
And it happens when Cregan again throws a pool party with all his friends and him too, where you don't confront him much about it like previous times and that's what gets his attention.
"Which of the two is the one you like?"
He asks you suddenly with a curious expression and a hint of suspicion in his voice, making you watch him with confusion on your face.
"What are you talking about?"
Your whole body tenses up completely upon hearing your brother's words and you inevitably start to feel terribly nervous, as well as your heart starts to beat too fast, especially because of his suspicious look on you.
"The Targaryens."
He points at you with his gaze, crossing his arms and looking at you again attentively and suspiciously.
"You haven't caused a scene since the two of them have been coming around often and you certainly don't look upset when it used to be a problem with anyone coming around, so you definitely must like one of the two of them, so tell me, which one?"
But you feign innocence and confusion, only to stare at him with your most incredulous face of all and try to evade him.
"You're talking nonsense."
"Oh, am I?"
"Cregan," you observe him seriously, "Have you ever seen me talk to either of the two of them here or at school?"
"Hmm," he says for a moment, thoughtfully.
Still he doesn't look entirely convinced and analyzes you with a completely intent and penetrating gaze, making you feel more nervous but you control him well.
"Still I find it odd that you don't complain about them when they come."
"Then maybe you should think about the fact that I just got tired of telling you the same old thing over and over again," you persuade the subject, "No matter how many times I complain, you'll still do what you want," you tell him seriously, "Besides, you assume that as if I didn't go to the same school as you and didn't know the Targaryens."
"That's exactly why I'm telling you," he says instantly, just as serious, "Do you think I'd like to see you start dating one of them?"
"And why do you care?"
"Why do I care?" he repeats incredulously, "I'm your brother, of course I care."
"As if I care about the girls you date," you tell him just as incredulously.
"Well, at least I have a good reason here," he insists, "I know them, both," he clarifies, "And I don't want you to get hurt, that's why I'm telling you."
"Stop being ridiculous," you tell him with your clearly annoyed tone, starting to head to your room, "And even if I will start dating one of them, it's none of your business."
You sentence to finally leave him behind, leaving a tension in the kitchen, while inside, you finally stop feeling tense and nervous, but Cregan continues with his suspicion.
He almost had you, almost.
And after that conversation, automatically the Targaryens come to your house more often, even more than usual.
Even after school, Cregan invites them over, the two of them and also the Velaryon brothers, where they all together invade your house and you start to witness the personality of him that he is mostly known for.
And it happens one day you're making yourself food and you hear them all talking from the living room.
"Oh, this fucker is texting Savannah," you hear Aegon's excited and amused voice.
"What!? Savannah Williams!?"
"Yeah, since yesterday. I saw her name on his phone when she texted him."
"So what do you say, dude?"
"Not much, actually," you hear his voice.
"But haven't you gone out with her before?"
"Yeah, but you know, it was casual," he explains, "Just now she told me her parents aren't home."
"Oh dude, if I were you, I wouldn't waste the opportunity," your brother says excitedly.
"But what happened to that girl at the party last week? What was her name? Emily, I think."
"Ah Emily… yeah, we had a thing but it was casual too. We only met once after that party."
"She was so hot, but Savannah is hot too."
"Yeah, I know," you hear his nonchalant voice.
"So will you go see her?"
"Yeah, I think so."
You hear them continue to talk, but you tune out and sneak off to your room unnoticed.
It's not the first time you've witnessed these conversations, though. It also happens when they are in the pool and you find yourself back in the kitchen preparing food.
But you can't concentrate because through the glass of the huge windows you see Aemond's bare chest marked. This is a distraction but you try to ignore it as much as you can, but to no avail.
When then the movement and sound of him emerging from the water catches your attention and that of Cregan and Aegon.
"Where are you going?"
"To Cerelle's," he announces, with his phone in hand and his towel over his shoulder.
"Yo! Cerelle Lannister!?" exclaims Cregan in surprise.
"She's so sexy," Aegon says, grining.
"She told me she's home alone and wants me to come over," he explains, as you watch him quickly move his fingers across his phone screen.
"Good luck, dude!"
Even though you know his reputation and how you are aware of his numerous 'adventures' with other girls, you can't help but feel a knot in your stomach and wonder if he might ever be interested in you.
You feel another pang of disappointment when you hear all this and also when you see how he smiles and starts to make his way over here without taking his eyes off his screen.
This immediately makes you react to quickly go to your room so you don't cross paths with him.
Not in that way, since you really don't want to be another girl on his huge list, but be something more genuine and real to him.
But that's totally ridiculous and impossible.
You tell yourself in disbelief, seeing the reality, as it's clear he's not looking for something serious and you don't want to be a 'one night stand' for him if you'll be ignored, forgotten and to some extent humiliated afterwards.
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One day, taking advantage of the fact that Cregan is not at home on the weekend and neither are any of his friends, much less your parents, although that is actually no surprise, you decide to make this day for yourself, relax and enjoy your own company.
You decide to stop paying attention to your phone and with your towel in your arms, you leave your room and go down to the pool.
But just as you finish walking down the stairs and are about to turn down the hallway, the doorbell rings.
You stop with a tired expression as that alone has slightly disturbed the zen zone you now find yourself in, but having no choice, you turn around and head to open the door, thinking it must be Mrs. Arryn to ask you for sugar, as usual.
But when you open the door, it is not Mrs. Arryn, but rather you come face to face with Aemond, taking you by surprise and takes your breath away for a moment.
If he is surprised to see you, he doesn't show it, just raises his eyebrows slightly and you notice how he shamelessly runs his eye up and down you, making you embarrassed and nervous as you remembers your outfit, which is a cute black two-piece bikini.
And you quickly try to cover up a bit with the towel in your hands, although in reality this shouldn't embarrass you, since you're at home and you didn't expect to see him, besides this bikini doesn't leave much to the imagination.
Or so you think.
"Hey."
He says to you dispassionately in greeting mode, with a look that you can't really describe but that makes you feel more nervous and you feel your heart beating too hard.
"Hi," you try not to stutter, "I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else."
Aemond watches you with a little mischievous smile barely visible and a spark of amusement in his eye.
"No worries," he tells you in his soft tone.
"Hum…" you place your confused face, "My brother is not here," you let him know, still finding it strange that he doesn't know that.
"Oh," he is silent for a moment, watching you intently, "He's not?"
You shake your head.
"He said he was going to Alysanne's, but he left hours ago," you explain and he hums in understanding, "Did you tell him you were coming today?"
"No, although I should have, I was just passing through and decided to come," he explains to you as well, shoving his hands into the pockets of his silk jacket, "I left my wallet here last night," he tells you later, getting your attention more, "That's why."
"Oh," is all you say, not knowing what else to say for a few seconds, "Well, I'm not sure what time Cregan will be back. But if you want to go up and get it, I'll be at the pool."
You allow him passage, as it's not as if he's a complete stranger and it's not as if he doesn't hang around here often either, it's as if he and Aegon live here too, being the brothers Cregan wished he had.
"Okay, thanks," he tells you as you step aside and make room for him to come in.
"Just close the door when you leave," you tell him, still feeling your heart beat too fast against your chest.
Aemond turns his gaze back to you, nodding in your direction.
"All right."
You give him a small smile and without saying anything else to him, you walk past him, hurrying to get out of his sight and urgently needing, now more than anything else, to get your whole body into the warm water of the pool that will make you stop feeling so tense.
And this is why you don't feel Aemond's piercing, burning gaze on you as you pull away, admiring your bare skin and having a perfect idea of your naked body to the imagination.
And with that alone, he feels himself getting hard at the sight of your smooth, long legs, as well as getting a good look at that ass of yours jiggling as you pull away.
He wets his lips and with a little grin, finally makes his way to Cregan's room, thinking about little things since you're here alone…. now with him.
Meanwhile you, wanting to forget that Aemond Targaryen is in your house right now, submerge yourself completely in the water, where you immediately feel a sensation of freshness and relief.
The water caresses you and envelops your body completely, while you let out a small sigh of pleasure and begin to get used to the new temperature, letting the revitalizing sensation envelop you completely.
Then you emerge with a slight jump, remove your wet hair stuck to your face and begin to swim elegantly, where your arms and legs move at a steady pace and the water takes you in all directions.
You submerge again for a moment and watch the horizon, as your house is on a hill and you can see the lights of neighborhoods below, being a beautiful sight when the sun sets and also when the sun goes down.
However, again your zen zone is disturbed when you hear the movement of the kitchen glass doors sliding, so you turn around in confusion and again feel all your nervousness wash over you.
Aemond makes his way over here, but what strikes you more than anything else is how he has clothes in his hand and also one of the many clean towels Cregan has in his bathroom.
You look at him confused face and he looks back at you with his intent gaze.
"Do you mind if I join you?"
The words get stuck in your throat, watching him still confused, feeling really very nervous and not understanding what he is doing here since he was supposed to go get his wallet and then leave, while he stands at the edge of the pool, watching you.
"Hum…" you say not really knowing what to say, "Are you going to wait for Cregan?"
He averts his gaze from yours, then drops the towel and clothes on a chair with dispassionate movements, to return his gaze to you.
"Yeah, I can do that too."
"And what are you actually here to do?"
You watch him warily and with a slight distrust, but not in a bad way, it's simply nerves.
He looks at you slightly amused.
"To keep you company, of course. Unless you don't want me to," he hastens to clarify.
And here your dilemma begins.
Being alone here with Aemond, in your house, in your pool, was a scenario you longed for and feared at the same time. You longed for because that's how your mind works when you're attracted to him, but feared since anything could happen.
And knowing his reputation, maybe when the moment happens, if the moment happens at all, you don't know if what will come next will be bad or good.
Also, you don't know if Cregan will arrive at any time or even later, so if he arrives in a couple more minutes and sees you alone here with Aemond, you don't even want to imagine the scandal he will make.
You don't know if Aemond has considered that possibility too but if he has, he doesn't seem to mind.
"So?" he looks at you expectantly.
But you again, can't utter words.
You let out a long breath and swallow hard before responding, trying to hide your excitement and nervousness.
You don't want to look bitter by telling him no, that it will be best for him to leave, but you also can't find another way to politely decline.
And on the other hand… there is that inevitable emotion in your being that begs you to invite him into the pool with you.
"Hum… yeah, sure, if you want," you say acting nonchalant, averting your gaze from him and distracting yourself with the water.
Aemond can't help but put on his smirk again and right in front of you, wanting to give you a show, he takes off his shirt, to which you watch him helplessly out of the corner of your eye and make sure he doesn't catch you admiring the view.
He's wearing that usual silver chain around his neck that makes it stand out against his skin, making him look only even sexier when he doesn't have a shirt on and God, you don't know if you can survive this, thinking it's a bad idea.
Then you watch as he pulls on a pair of Cregan shorts, secures his hair in a low bun and finally steps into the water.
In a nonchalant way you make yourself more towards the shore, unobviously avoiding getting too close to him as he swims towards the center of the pool, making it more impossible for you not to watch him as it's getting dark and the last orange rays of the sun beautifully illuminate his skin that glows slightly from the water and his face.
And then feel his intense gaze on you, while you try to distract yourself with your eyes, trying to focus only on you.
But it is genuinely impossible.
However, he doesn't make any effort to talk and neither do you, which you are grateful for, to continue to feel the calmness and relaxation throughout your body, although it's a little hard for you being here alone with him.
And it's a bit awkward since neither of you are talking, but is there anything to talk about?
He's one of your brother's best friends and you're just the sister, the two of you don't really know each other, so it makes sense. But still you feel the slight tension between the two of you and you don't even know why.
You wonder if he feels the same way too when suddenly his low, amused voice almost makes you startle in your place.
"I've always wondered why you're so quiet when Aegon and I come over."
You look at him with a slightly surprised expression, not expecting that, feeling again how your heart is beating too fast from nerves, for what are you supposed to tell him?
You should tell him that you have a crush on him and that your brother warned you about him?
"I know it's your house and I come with your brother but… you look like you hate me or something."
Oh God.
You think, only making you feel more nervous, especially since it's really impossible not to see a part of his torso and pectorals that looks almost glowing from the water and sunlight, not expecting to hear those words either.
And you force yourself not to turn your back on him anymore to watch him while they talk, adopting a relaxed and confident attitude, just like him, when actually inside you are shaking with nerves.
"You just said yourself, you come with my brother, not me," you say softly.
And while he watches you and listens attentively, he also struggles just like you not to see too much of your breasts confined in that black bikini of yours that makes you look too sexy, especially the way the wet fabric looks and your skin on your chest and collarbone too.
"And I don't hate you," you clarify, slightly amused and absurd, "We just don't talk, that's all."
"Because you haven't given me the chance."
You look at him expectantly.
"I don't remember a single time you ever tried to talk to me."
"That's exactly why," he tells you softly, "Because you run away before I can try."
Now it is you who watches him completely attentively, while you feel your heart beating like crazy and you look away from him for a moment, not knowing what to say or do since he is right, feeling really very nervous, especially when he starts to swim slowly towards you, with a determined look.
And you for insisting, you start to back away, watching his slow and calculated movements with some trepidation, having an idea of what he intends to do and you know it's not a good idea at all.
"See? You're already running away," he points out to you with his amused and satisfied look.
And you don't miss his determined look, how his head is slightly tilted as he continues to slowly advance towards you, with the corners of his lips twisted upwards in a small smile and his blue eye glowing, while his prosthetic eye remains the same as ever.
And you still don't want to agree with him.
"That's not true, I'm not doing anything," you defend yourself in a weak and pathetic attempt.
"Oh no?" he raises his eyebrows expectantly at you.
And you start to lose it all when he's already in front of you, cornering you.
"Aemond," you call him in a sigh in warning mode, fully alert, leaving his name in the air as you become very nervous of his intense, dark gaze on you.
"What's wrong? Are you afraid of me?"
You watch him with a slight expression of surprise and even more nervousness, as you press your lips together and try to say the right words.
"No," you reply softly, "But I know you're no good either," you confess.
And he frowns, watching you interestedly.
"What do you mean?" you are silent for a moment, as you give him a sad look, serious and obvious at the same time.
"We both know what," you tell him softly, without much detail.
And at this, Aemond can't help but feel annoyed, immediately noticing how you clench your jaw and look away from yours for a moment, serious and thoughtful.
You know he shouldn't have to be upset with you for implying a truth you both know, especially him, but still you can't help but hold your breath, hoping that maybe you haven't gone too far.
All the while thinking that maybe you've ruined the first chance you've had to talk to him by telling him that he's no good by reputation, since that's not your concern, but at least you make it clear that that's not what you're looking for now.
"And you don't even want to try?" he asks you quietly, turning his gaze back to you, attentive and completely willing.
You stare at him, completely speechless, as you feel your whole body tense and your eyes are slightly wide open, your lips parted, not having the slightest idea what to say at the same time as a million questions invade your mind.
And just at that moment, Cregan's words come back to your mind.
"I know them, both. And I don't want you to get hurt, that's why I'm telling you."
So you know.
Aemond is not like you and the only thing he wants is to fill his list, no matter with whom, not even if it's the sister of one of his best friends, who are supposed to be 'forbidden', somehow.
And that's why you decide to answer him truthfully, no longer caring if you hurt his feelings, even though you doubt it very much.
Not wanting this to go any further, since you knew all along that letting him stay was a bad idea, you move as fast as your body in the water will let you, walking away, wanting to keep your distance again.
"And be just another girl on your list that you never speak to again and suddenly pretend she doesn't exist anymore? No thanks."
But just as you pass by him, he's faster and you feel his big hand grab your arm and twist you in a demanding motion back towards him, slamming his chest against yours, locking you in his arms, making you gasp in surprise.
His face is above yours, completely close, causing you nerves and you try to free yourself from him, but he doesn't let you, even having that determined, attentive and dark look.
"Do you ever stop running away?" he asks you in a low, husky tone.
"What do you think you're doing?" you hiss nervously.
"You're not even letting me explain."
"There's nothing to explain."
"Oh no?" he asks, "Did I say I only wanted you for one night?"
"That's what you do, Aemond, with every girl," you say absurdly, "Am I suddenly going to be the exception? How am I supposed to believe that?"
However, any further protest gets stuck in your throat as Aemond grabs one hand from your cheek and the other places it on your bare waist, pulling you closer against him in a possessive grip.
And you know you're losing the battle when he brings his face closer to yours, where your noses brush lightly and your breathing becomes more rapid, having no idea what's going on.
But Aemond does.
And as he strokes your soft, wet cheek with his thumb, watching you intently and with understanding, his next words make you reconsider the situation completely.
"You won't be just another girl on the list," he murmurs softly to you, "I won't hurt you. I promise."
You shudder completely at his words, but also at his touch and closeness, being impossible not to look between his violet eye or his full lips, which Aemond notices, also peering between your eyes and lips hungrily.
And you don't even think or discuss it anymore when he leans his face towards you and kisses you with need, without even giving you time to react.
You moan into his mouth in surprise and he pulls you roughly to him, lowering his hands to your body where he makes you wrap your legs around his torso, then makes room between your lips with his tongue, making you gasp.
You immediately bring your arms around his neck and deepen the kiss further, a passionate kiss, where you barely give each other time to breathe properly before desperately bringing your lips together again.
A slight tingle of desire is felt between your legs as you move your body and legs to hold his torso tighter, where you perfectly feel the hardness of his cock under your ass.
You moan as you feel one of his hands grip your thigh and the other caress the skin of one of your ass cheeks, making you gasp against his mouth, closing your eyes in delight as he pulls his lips away from yours and begins to leave soft kisses on your neck.
"I fucking knew it," he murmurs in delight too in his husky voice, running his tongue over your sensitive skin, "I knew you wanted me too."
You squint completely as the hand on your ass reaches lower and nonchalantly rubs his palm over your covered, moist center.
"Aemond," you moan.
"I know, baby, I know," he coos, smiling in the middle of your lips as he kisses you again.
But it's there in that moment with his hand caressing you right at your nerve center that your brain for an instant seems to react, realizing what's really going on and you stop kissing him abruptly, watching him in surprise and slight fear as he watches you slightly confused.
"W-we can't," you say in a trembling voice, "We can't do this, t-this is wrong. Cregan—
"We can't do it or we can't do it here?" he inquires expectantly.
You let out a sigh.
"Both," you say with a certain embarrassed tone, "But I'm more worried about Cregan. If he sees us, he'll go crazy."
"Come on, Y/N, you're not a little girl anymore."
"I know but he warned me about you and your brother," you tell him hopelessly, "And you're one of his best friends."
Aemond is silent for a moment, watching you and nothing else, where he is aware and so are you of the hardness in his shorts, while in his thoughts he bets that you too must be spilling your juices between your legs.
Honestly he understands your concern, but he also understands that Cregan is really no one to tell you who you can and can't date, as the decision is totally up to you.
He doesn't want to have problems with him either as he also considers him one of his best friends but you... you simply drove him crazy with seeing you in this black bikini and now he is even more so for you, wanting, needing more of you, no matter the consequences.
"Then we have to be careful and not to say anything to him," he tells you softly, in solution, "Only if you want to," he clarifies, "But if you want to stop now, just tell me and I will, before we take this any further."
But you don't really have to make a decision when you are already here, in his arms, feeling how much he wants you and you also recognizing how much you want to keep touching and kissing him, no matter what.
But he still gives you that option, to make you see that he really doesn't want to hurt you and that he respects your decisions, since you are the one in control of all this and you are the one who puts the stop, at any time.
And when Aemond sees how you are watching him intently, with indecision in your gaze, holding back your true desires, thinking fast, he cocks his head to one side and watches you curiously.
"Or do you really want me as much as I want you, princess?"
Something snaps inside you and not just from hearing that nickname for you, but from having him so fucking close and his lips being a complete invitation to you and in fact all of him.
Soon enough, he is sitting on the edge of the pool and you find yourself sitting on top of him, your arms around his neck as you press yourself against the hardness of his shorts.
So you think no more and again crash your lips against his, resuming what you were doing before, to which Aemond responds with the same rudeness and fervor.
And then without stopping kissing you, he carries you to the edge of the pool along with him.
You move your hips in circles on top of him, rubbing your needy center against his hard cock, while he caresses your thighs, your ass and all the skin he blindly finds without stopping kissing you, feeling his breathing just as ragged as yours.
Then he brings his hands up and starts sliding the strings of your bikini over your shoulders, sending fiery electricity throughout your body.
"What was it you said? That we couldn't do this here?" he murmurs hoarsely against your skin, leaving wet kisses on your collarbone and neck.
You moan, as your bikini top piece is loosened completely by Aemond's fingers and you involuntarily wiggle your hips more intensely.
"You just can't resist, can you?" he asks you amused amidst all the sensuality.
"Shut up," you whine pathetically into his lips.
This time he kisses you again, softly and tenderly, deep, as he with his hand pulls away the piece of your bikini top that covers your breasts, freeing them, causing him to groan at the sight in front of him.
"Fuck," he murmurs, "Such a pretty tits, princess."
He says to you with his eye fully dilated and watching you hungrily, then you moan as he brings his mouth to your hard, wet nipple and begins to caress it with his tongue and lips, sucking on it, while he kneads the other one with his hand.
"Oh yes," you moan, pulling your breasts closer to his face.
You continue to move your hips on top of him, desperate and needy to feel the friction his cock gives you against your swollen clit.
When you least expect it, you begin to approach your limit, as your whole body tenses and his caressing hands only add to the pleasure.
"Mhm," he moans against your hard nipple, then gives the same attention to the other, still kneading them as he pleases.
"Fuck, Aemond, please don't stop," you say under your breath.
But that's exactly what he does, he releases your nipple with a wet sound and captures your lips in a sensual kiss, making you moan and groan at the same time from the attention on your breasts.
You arch your neck and moan, clinging to him completely, needing more of him, driving you completely insane.
And you sigh as he again distributes kisses all over your neck and his teeth grind against your sensitive skin.
You feel the moist heat of his mouth and hands all over your body, as if he wants to mark you with each firm, possessive touch.
"Remember we have to be careful, baby," he suddenly murmurs hoarsely in your ear, feeling his warm breath, "And we don't want your brother to see his innocent little sister getting the fuck of her life if he comes back, do we?"
Despite all the desire you're feeling and you're dripping completely for him, his words reach your brain and scare you a little, so you force yourself to be patient and you both go up to your room.
And soon enough you find yourself lying on your bed, with Aemond on top of you, spreading your legs for him, watching with his dilated eye and gently biting his bottom lip your wet pussy ready for him.
"Seven Hells," he growls, running his fingers all over your entrance, "Look at you, you're dripping, princess."
His cock pulses in pain for release, watching you in complete delight as you moan with every movement of his fingers that collects your juices, spreading them all over your pussy, making you wiggle your hips against his hand.
"Aemond, please," you cry, needing to feel it inside you, now.
"What is it, baby? Do you want me to fuck you? Do you want me to fuck this pretty pussy hard?"
He teases you, running his fingertips over your hole, making you moan, sigh and groan.
"Please, just fuck me, fuck me with your cock," you implore him.
"Yesah? Is that what you want?"
"Yes, please!"
"Only because you asked nicely."
He joins in, leaving you needy and trembling on your bed, spread wide open for him, watching as he removes his wet shorts and boxers, completely freeing his entire erect, heavy, hot, hard cock, just for you.
Your mouth waters at the sight and he proudly holds it in his hand, turning to make his way back to you, thrilling and scaring you at the same time as you've never had a cock like Aemond's inside you before.
"Do you take control pills? I don't have a condom."
"Yes, I take them, don't worry," you assure him instantly and he grins.
"Eager, huh?"
"Aemond," you groan and moan at the same time.
"Someone's acting like a little brat," he croons, starting to rub the tip of his cock against your pussy, making you shudder and moan, needing him inside you, "Behave yourself, princess. I'll give you exactly what you want."
"Stop teasing," you whine between whimpers.
When suddenly Aemond enters you in a single hard, firm movement that makes you release all the air in your lungs, moaning loudly at the rough intuition as he pulls it all out of you again.
"What did I say? Stop being a little brat and behave yourself," he warns you.
"Yes, yes, I'm sorry, I won't do it again, I promise."
You plead desperately and moan as he slams the tip against your pussy, to again enter you fully in a more careful and slower way, letting you feel all of him, making you moan.
"Oh fuck, Aemond," you moan his name, drunk with pleasure, closing your eyes tight.
"Yeah, just like that, squeezing me so fucking good, baby," he murmurs hoarsely in delight.
He leans fully into you, kissing your hot, sweaty skin, just like him, then slides all the way down to your bottom, where you feel every inch of his long, hard cock, moaning into his mouth, as your whole body trembles.
He stops once he's all the way inside you, letting you get used to his size, while you feel him pulsing inside you and all his heat flooding through you.
When he rolls his hips in a grunt and his tip touches exactly your swollen clit in need of release.
His hands run along your waist and thighs as he lifts both of your legs and places them around his torso, feeling him sink more easily inside you.
"You're so hot, baby. So fucking perfect," he growls against your lips, closing his eye and rests his forehead with yours as he begins his swaying hips back and forth.
"You're so deep," you moan, clinging to his back, lightly digging your nails into his pale skin.
This makes Aemond grunt and feel more desperation as he begins to penetrate you with more rhythm, all the way in, with hard movements that hit exactly that spot inside you that makes you squirm beneath him.
"Yes Aemond, right there," you moan.
"Yeah? Do you like it, baby?"
"Yes, fuck, yes."
You both gasp into each other's mouths, where then his dark gaze returns to your features and he watches you intently, never ceasing to slam his hips hard and deep against you.
"You're mine now, you know that, don't you?" he asks you in a low, husky tone.
His words only make you clench tighter around him and you feel yourself slowly reaching your limit, each onslaught sending delicious waves all over your core that soothes your needy pussy.
"Say it," he demands forcefully, only this time to plunge your cock back into your wet pussy with a hard onslaught that knocks the air out of you, "Say you're mine."
"Yes," you gasp, "Yes, Aemond. I am yours," you manage to say it, "I am completely yours."
He smiles complacently and contentedly, never ceasing to move for a moment.
"Yes, you are," he croons, "You. Are. Mine," he rams you hard to the hilt on every accentuation, not giving you time to anticipate it, making you moan loudly in pleasure and pain, "And I don't fucking share."
He brings his lips back to your skin, marking and sucking on your breasts and neck even with his heavy cock inside you, fucking you hard and grunting against your ear telling you how tight you are.
He takes you completely over the edge, where your mind goes blank with each thrust, filling you completely, swelling inside you, as both you and he begin to gasp for breath, but he doesn't slow down or change his pace, continuing to penetrate you and press you against your bed.
Until finally everything inside you explodes, you see stars behind your eyes and Aemond's warm semen fills everything inside you, coming with an almost painful grunt in your ear and with a last strong thrust that leaves you drunk with pleasure and makes you forget everything for a moment.
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Things didn't end with Aemond there, not at all.
He was honest with you when he told you that he wouldn't hurt you or make you just another girl on his list, just as he was honest in telling you that you are now his and he doesn't share.
After that day in your room, the little secret affair began.
When Aemond comes to your house along with Aegon, you both behave towards each other as you were before, completely indifferent.
However, you and especially he are not entirely patient, so once you reach your limit, he secretly intercepts you in one of the empty classrooms or labs and you take advantage of that little moment as much as possible.
You don't even speak to each other and avoid as much as possible to look each other, where no one suspects the two of you. And at school it's the same, although especially there you have to be more careful.
Even in the library, you both find a secluded corner between the shelves of books and can't keep your hands off each other, where Aemond makes you come on his fingers and sometimes you also dare to suck his cock, hoping not to be discovered.
As far as you know, he has not been seen with other and his usual girls, since almost all the time the two of you are texting each other and sometimes, when Cregan is not at home, you let him know and he comes as fast as he can, not missing the opportunity.
Already being in the four walls of your room, the two of you can do whatever you want without fear of being discovered, where Aemond fucks you against your mattress in all positions.
And sometimes, when things have not been in favor of either of you, he climbs through your window at midnight and unable to hold back any longer, he fucks you silently, silencing your moans with his mouth, hands or cock, since Cregan's room is at the end of the hallway.
And this lasts for a while, all in secret, where you look for small moments to share intimate moments, hidden caresses and soft whispers in your ear that only you and he can hear.
But of course, the good things can't last forever.
Jason Lannister, a friend of Cregan's, throws a Halloween party at his house and practically the entire school has been invited. So you see this as an opportunity to be able to be with Aemond for a few moments of the party.
Cregan dresses up as a wizard and you choose to dress up as a sexy sailor girl with a skirt that exposes your legs, a simple white blouse, you put on your tie and also your hat, and then you and Cregan head off to the party.
You immediately look for Aemond, but he is nowhere to be seen, even though you meet Aegon and his younger brother, Daeron.
However, not to be obvious, you start pouring yourself drinks and talking to your friends, starting to get into the same mood as everyone else because of the music with twinkling lights and also because of the whole decorated house.
You see Aegon talking to Cassandra Baratheon, dresses up as a vampire and she as an angel, then you see Alysanne talking to your brother, dresses up as a bunny, and then you keep looking around the party, not understanding where Aemond is.
You are about to send him a message, when you look absentmindedly towards the kitchen and then, there he finally is, only he is not alone.
Dresses up as a pirate, Aemond is chatting with his ex-girlfriend, the gorgeous Alys Rivers, dresses up as a witch.
You had been enjoying the party, but your mood inevitably changes and also without being able to help it, you feel a twinge of jealousy all over your insides, watching them intently.
They both talk, she occasionally laughs and places her hand on his chest, playfully smacking it, both of them too close, while you see Aemond's grin on his lips at all times, making the knot of jealousy in your stomach tighter.
And, you mean, you can't even blame him, she's Alys Rivers.
When then at that moment your gaze crosses his casually, who slowly wipes away his smile, but you quickly avert your gaze from him as you bite the inside of your cheek, trying to act nonchalant.
But too late, he's already noticed your annoyed look.
However, you quickly make room with Aegon, Cassandra and Daeron, simply to dissemble in front of them and him as well. Then Cregan and Alysanne join in and of course so does he, but you don't even notice him and continue drinking.
You notice how he wants to approach you slyly on a few occasions, but you don't let him, you continue to laugh with Daeron, ignoring him altogether, not wanting to talk or be with him anymore.
Until the hour starts to get late and taking advantage of the fact that one of your friends is already leaving, you ask her to drop you off at your house and she accepts. You just tell Cregan, who nods and you leave the party with your friend.
And once you get home, you take off your costume, take a shower and get ready to sleep, although you should have expected Aemond to start calling you, but you send it to voicemail.
He calls you a couple of times more where you don't answer and you also get severe messages from him that you don't read, to finally leave your phone on mute and try to sleep.
But you barely last a few minutes with your eyes closed, suddenly you hear some sounds at your window.
You sit up confused in your bed, looking at your window, instantly knowing what it is or rather who it is, since only one person has the habit of doing this and you let out a long resigned breath.
Reluctantly you open your curtains and the window, where the figure of Aemond stands down there, watching you confused and attentive.
"What are you doing?" you reproach him sleepily.
"You're not answering my calls or texts," he tells you with some anger in his tone of voice, "And you ignored me the whole party."
You press your lips together in anger as well.
"It semeed to me like you were too busy," you can't help but say with some bitterness.
He lets out a sigh, lowering his gaze for a moment.
"It's not what you thin—
"No matter. Go home. I want to sleep," you cut him off, intending to turn away from your window.
"I swear to God Y/N, I'm not leaving until you listen to me," he warns you.
"It's after midnight!" you reproach him.
"Open the door," he demands.
"No," you say firmly.
"I'm not going to repeat myself."
"I don't care."
"Y/N," he warns you again.
"Stay there all night, I'm not opening for you."
You sentence and finally move away from the window, close it and close your curtains as well.
Feeling no remorse, you settle back into your bed, ready to sleep again, but only a few seconds pass when you hear noise again.
And that's when you realize you should have locked your windows.
You startle and turn your head to watch how Aemond is entering through your windows with the same agility as always, with a serious and threatening look, jumping into your room and you look at him angrily.
"You're unbelievable, you know that?"
"You don't know what you just got yourself into," he says as he makes his way towards you.
"Fuck you," you spit back at him.
"Oh yeah, I just pretend to do that, princess."
"Alys wasn't available at this time that you decided to come and play with me?"
He lets out a long breath, rolling his eye.
"You're getting it all wrong—
"Oh I am?" you inquire, "She's your fucking ex, Aemond. I'm not stupid."
"In fact yes, you are being stupid right now, " he says, coming towards you.
And just before you can escape, he catches you, instantly grabbing you by both wrists, cornering you between him and your bed, climbing on top of you with a mischievous, menacing grin and his pupil fully dilated.
"Let go of me," you gasp, trying to shake him off.
"Listen to me—
"I mean it, get off me and get the fuck out of my house!"
He cocks his head.
"Where did this bratty attitude come from, hm?"
"Aemond," you plead, "Stop it."
"Oh baby," he croons, bringing his lips to your ear, "Can't you see? Can't you see how fucking crazy I am about you?" he murmurs hoarsely.
You try to fight your own urges, telling yourself that you shouldn't let yourself get carried away by him, that he can talk and fuck whoever he wants, while you are only exclusively for him and these are just empty words to convince you.
"Alys and I ended on good terms, we're just friends, it's nothing to worry about," he says earnestly in your ear, as your breath is cut short when you feel his knee make its way between your legs.
"Aemond," you whine.
"But if you want me to stop talking to her, fine, I will," he murmurs in understanding, only to feel his knee press lightly into your pussy, making you moan.
"Oh, A-aemond-" you try to say, feeling so good.
"Yeah, baby? What's wrong? Does it feel good?"
You can't formulate words, especially when he puts more pressure and makes you gasp more, just that making you feel good, only to then feel him drop almost his weight against you and now positioning himself between your legs, he starts rubbing his hard cock inside his pants against you, making you shudder.
Now he gasps along with you, as he lets go of your wrists and slides one of his hands under your shirt, kneading one of your breasts with ease as you sleep without a bra.
You arch your back against him and bite your bottom lip as he begins to leave soft kisses down your neck, never letting go of your touch and never stopping rubbing against you.
"Please, Aemond, please," you beg him, needing him.
He marks the skin of your neck, sucking and sucking, then brings his lips back to your ear.
You bring one of your hands to his face and turn him towards you, kissing him with need and depth where he responds in kind, where you are completely delighted by his caresses and words.
"Now do you get it, princess?" he says hoarsely, "You're the only one who can make me play this fucking game of hide and seek with your brother and everyone else."
He says honestly, making you moan as he puts more pressure on his hips.
"But you know what? I've had enough and I don't fucking care if Cregan bothers or not. I don't give a shit."
And that night Aemond fucks you from behind, hard and fast, while you hold the sheets tightly under you and avoid shushing your sobs and moans too loudly against the pillow, as every time you do, Aemond gives you a hard spank with his hand on one of your ass cheeks as a way of punishment for your bratty attitude earlier.
And he doesn't give you a chance to silence your moans as he gathers all your hair into a fist and makes your back arch, while his other hand takes it to hold your throat firmly and rests his cheek against yours to fuck you with more accessibility, fast and deep, bringing you to the peak several times.
And when it's all over, you melt into the arms of your perfect, official boyfriend.
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thank you so much for reading!❤
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megumisgirl · 10 months
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megumi boyfriend headcanons!
— when you guys first started dating, he was no where near the touchy-feely boyfriend. all you got were hugs, kisses on the forehead and sometimes, if you were lucky long deep passionate kisses that came out of nowhere. all in private of course, megumi likes to keep things that is between you guys between you guys, he doesn't tell gojo, yuuji, nobara, anyone.
— when you guys had your first fight, he was super furstrated. screamed a bit and let his hidden anger issues show (you can thank toji for that). in the spur of the moment, out of furstration and pent up sexual-anger he ran his hands through his hair, making you flinch. he immidietly stopped talking and just left the room. the topic you guys were fighting about wasn't cleared up, you both were obviously angry, and now with this, you both were going to have a conversation that none of you wanted.
— the next few days of the fight, megumi would try to talk to you but you would give him the silent treatment. it was a no-win situation, if you tell him you flinched for nothing, he'd feel horrible to even make you think that he was capable of hitting you. if you told him the real reason, a dark looming thought in your mind told you that maybe he wouldn't accept you for who you are. maybe he would leave you. people started to notice that you and megumi weren't together as much.
"meeeegumiiii" gojo cooed, making megumi roll his eyes, "did you and y/n have a fight? you can tell me. im basically your second father. not that im gay. i mean i could be, but like the sex-" "no." megumi stopped gojo, putting his hand in front of him, "we're not in a fight. and its a disagreement. we'll be fine." he'd already said too much for someone who says nothing. but he had too much in his mind, so the words just spilled out.
— after the intial conversation, at first, megumi didn't know how to comprehend what you just said to him. he never had to comfort someone and he was never comforted either, so he based himself on your position and did everything right. my man. he was sweet, gentle, and never judged you.
— megumi got comfortable with affection about seven-nine months into the relationship only because you were so touchy, other wise would've taken four years or smth. and his level of affection is holding-hands in public, and holding your hands above your head in private, if you catch my meaning...
— when he met your parents, he was PROPERRR. mans was dressed in a fucking suit, styled his hair right instead of the spikey usual hair, and showed the barest amount of physical affection to assure your parents their daughter is in the right hands.
— but when you met his, it was CHAOS lmaooo. toji was showing you all the embarassing baby pictures of megumi on purpose to embarass him. his step-wise called him embarassing nicknames like bubbles or pineapples or something and you couldnt believe why megumi was the way he was when they were like this.
truth be told, megumi was made for you (and me).
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NSFW cannons.
— i said this once and i'll say it again. MEGUMI IS A ROUGH DOM!!! man-handles you every chance he gets, whether it's spreading your legs apart so roughly that there are bruises on his hands on your thighs, or flipping you over to pound you from behind. he will do it all.
— favourite position, anything where he can see you. missionary, to some extent matting press? he loves to see you squeeze your eyes, arch your bag and whine inconsistent pleas. he loves to see the full of personality character that he's so into just dissappear as he pounds into you mercilessly. the perfect smart girl becoming a bimbo that he loves to use and fuck.
— has a thing for eye-contact. BEFORE U THROW TOMATOS AT ME... LISTEN OKAY..1!!1!! when you're giving head, he grips your jaw so he can see your eyes as he fucks your mouth, tears streaming down your face, getting mixed with the tastes of his arousal. when its you recieving, he is adamant about eye-contact.
he has been inbetween your leg for hours, absolutely devouring you while making you watch. your eyes are sore, your legs are sore, everything is sore. you cant move an inch without feeling sensitive and your entire body just shakes as he laughs at you, looking at you with his blue eyes. "look at me." he said, the vibrations from his throat hitting your soaked cunt as you whimpered, opening your eyes just enough for new tears to leave your face. making a thin smirk place on his lips. his tounge circled your bud, making you shut your eyes again. "eye-contact, or this stops."
— dirty talker. and not just any dirty talker, the sweet praise ones. "my little slut," "taking me so well, baby. you're such a whore, but.. you're my whore," FHBYIEDWUSOKPX
— ending on a positive note, he's good at aftercare, too. after an intense session, he will draw you a bath and just sit on the edge of the tub, drawing mindless circles on your arm as you rest in the warm bath. ocasionally stealing kisses from you as he watched you take a bath. he's just... perfect.
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tocomplainfriend · 3 months
Text
SEE!? THEY DON'T CARE!
TW: Rape, SA, Homophobia, Misogyny, Misandry
The specific censored word with "-", it's for my own reasons and comfort. It's not censored up and in tags due to filtering! Sorry if I made mistakes like forgetting of filtering or similar, I haven't used tumblr much before!
THIS IS A R-PE JOKE! THAT'S WHAT I HAVE BEEN FUCKING SAYING! ONE OF MY BIGGEST PROBLEMS WITH EPISODE 4 IS THE FACT OF "we want to write an empowering story about men getting sexually assaulted. Men victim don't get that attentio-" BITCH, YOU MADE MANY R-PE AND SA JOKES ALL THE FUCKING WAY THROUGH HELLUVA AND KNOW HAZBIN! You are the one making fun of scenarios where your male characters get assaulted or r-ped.
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HOW TF DO YOU PRETEND TO BE SOOO ABOVE PEOPLE (INCLUDING VICTIMS OF SA AND R-PE) THAT'S EXPRESSED HOW THEY FELT ON THE EXECUTIONS AND WHO WORKED IN EPISODE 4. WHEN YOU YOURSELF MAKE JOKES ABOUT IT????? For some context, Sir Pent is trying to get with Cherri, but always deflects first in case she rejects him. He offers her a drink, but immediately says it's because he'll buy a drink for everyone on the club. Then he asks Cherri if they can have sex- and deflects back (a repetition joke) "Because I'll have sex with everyone here". Then he gets dragged into a room by other people, yelling wait and no! And the door closes as you heard him scream.
Out of context in the screenshot, you might even think it might be a serious scene where something happens to Pentious. BUT NO! IT'S BRUSHED OVER REAL FAST AND PLAYED AS "HAHA SOMETHING BAD HAPPEN TO SIR PENTIOUS AGAIN LMAOO"- it's the punchline.
Then at the end of the episode he gets out asking "Where is Cherri" (who btw is having sex with a random guy).
And please don't say "Well, he asked for it"- you know how you sound. The whole point of the joke is that he is trying to get with Cherri and failing astronomically. The point here is that he really doesn't want to have sex with a bunch of random people, but he has to do it because he is getting dragged into a room. (Again, Pentious is like Moxxie Their joke it's getting trashed and bullied by the world or people around them).
You made a whole episode about dealing with a male character's sexual assault, abuse or r-pe. Saying how much you respect victims, and your episode, it's just perfect about the topic. BlaBlaBla- no, you don't. You made all this jokes since HB season 1. This new joke was episode 6 of HH. You never acknowledge power dynamics, or coercion. You never acknowledge anything bad in your show.
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Remember, as much as this shows go for LGBTQ+ representation and Queer media. As a ""Female lead show"". This jokes link back (not only to making fun of SA and R-pe itself, but to) homophobia and Misogyny. A scenario of where a man gets SA'ed or r-ped by another man or woman- leads to a scenario where the character is made fun of for not being "masculine enough" for being a victim or for not being able to defend themselves. In a scenario where this happens by a man to man, "It's funny because the victim is viewed as gay. As less masculine = gay and that's bad cause gay = weak and feminine and the idea of feminine = weak".
(There are a few jokes here and there, like Blitzo touching Moxxie's dick after making fun of him for having a baby penis.)
If you didn't notice, Moxxie gets attacked by multiple succubus, and that's apparently funny. KEEP IN MIND is not basic physical violence-no he comes out with lipstick kisses marks, the sounds effects are (ugh)... and Blitz tells him "Don't let them access any of your holes". In other concepts, I want to point out that the times when Moxxie is viewed as a bottom or feminine- he is made fun of. When Millie pegs him, he is made fun of because he is the man of the relationship, being implied as the bottom. When he wears the outfit of unhappy campers, he is extra objectified or made fun of even more than in any other episodes. He is also forcefully put on a dress in his wedding.
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He is made fun of for being SA'ed for being uncomfortable scenarios:
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These aren't jokes made by characters that "are bad because they are from hell". These are scripted jokes written by a person searching for the audience to laugh.
AND the reason why many audiences accept this jokes or even find them funny is because of some of these views (internalized or not) above. You'll also notice how all these jokes are directed at men (if you find an R-pe or SA joke directed at a woman in this two show, say something about it! POINT IT OUT!). People accept and write these jokes more because they care less about the idea of a man being a victim of such situation. More often than not- in the present, a woman getting assaulted or anything similar in any media gets noticed and called out. THESE JOKES OR THE NORMALIZATION OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT, ASSAULT, COERCION, OR SIMILAR TOWARDS WOMAN STILL HAPPENS!!!! There is an idea that men just tend to just want sex all times at any time. -And that a man getting SA'ed or r-ped by a woman it's just sex, cause "Why wouldn't you like free pussy". When it's a gay perpetrator is viewed as funny cause "that makes you gay or a woman" and that's apparently hilarious. Men can be r-ped no matter what. Men can be targets of all of these acts.
Remember that all the scenes of sexual abuse, harassment and r-pe in Poison are directed by the R2. Who, once again, is into r-pe porn- and they themselves said they are not an SA victim either. So remember, not even a victim trying to cope with their own R-pe or SA. This person draws and ships "R-pe ships", and tags it as "naughty men uwu" bullshit. Also, a person so obsessed with the character of Angel that they changed their name to Tony (Angel's real human name), make themselves look like him, and become a sex worker like Angel. They themselves looked at a comic of Val threatening r-pe and abuse on Angel as "thank good you have balls to draw something mean with these too, I was so bored" ???? (this stuff is in:) and cosplay and take photos of your Val x Angel ship
Congrats if you as a victim yourself thought that the scene with Angel was good. If it helped you be and feel seen. But remember the rest of the show, the hypocritical writers, don't care enough to view it as a serious topic to not joke about. Both HB and HH written by the same people (as in Vivziepop), take their sweet time to turn these topics into jokes.
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What pisses off more, it's the trying to make yourself be viewed as a sensitive person about such topic. Make it seem like you are a savior for writing about it in such "serious, powerful and not sugar coded" way. But then you drop that on the fucking ground to make a joke about it when you are tired of pretending you are so good. If you were so informed of SA and r-pe, you wouldn't be making these jokes. If you knew how much SA male victims struggle to get viewed as serious or their stories taken into account-you wouldn't be this shitty.
God, you are so proud of the joke too.
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My poor snake guy... one of the few characters that I like-
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blublublujk · 4 months
Text
bound 2 (falling in love)
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oneshot
word count: 6.5k
genre: fwb to lovers
pairing: yoongi x reader
summary:
You and Yoongi were okay with being friends with benefits... until you weren't.
warnings: i tried to focus on fluff (did you catch it or did i fail), explicit sexual content; unprotected sex (they make love to each other), choking and breath play (hello it's yoongi), multiple orgasms, slight overstimulation, crying (is it really my ff if there's no crying involved), creampie, very cute aftercare and i think that’s all, this is more sweet than anything lol
a.n: believe it or not this wasn't apart of my drafts i wrote this all one night because i couldn't sleep so thank my insomnia for this, it was about time i write about yoongi :D
also i noticed a lot of you are reading it was destiny and love always wins and i wish you guys wouldn't only because i plan to rewrite some of it and continue them at a further time (chaptered ffs are so hard for me rn since i don't have all the time in the world to dedicate myself to them but i promise to be back with those two series) thank you for everyone who takes time to read what i write it really means so much and your comments have been so motivating. thank you so fucking much for 2k notes on good girl, gone bad i havent seen numbers like that ever im so so grateful, thank you from the bottom of my heart. i'll try to be back one or two more times this month and happy late birthday to me hehe <3
—> m.list
—> welcome me on ao3 & twt
—-
It happened again.
Another failed date to add to the sad list of people that simply will never workout for you.
The list was growing longer as months passed. When you started this list, it was barely the start of a very hot summer. Probably the hottest it’s been in years, one can only assume the winter will not be any easier. 
And you were right. Winter was only beginning and it was brutally cold. The streets were moist from the previous night of harsh rainfall. 
What better time to date and settle down than now. When the world gives you rain, settle for the warm arms of a lover.
Unfortunately, you made a grave mistake thinking this would come easy. Ten first dates later and you are still very single and loverless. 
It is not easy to go out during a time like now, suffering at the sight of happy couples and their stupid happy lives. Really, it should disgust you. It used to. The whole concept of devoting your entire life to someone. The need to constantly feel the tender touch of another person. The desire to fall in love and do it all over again, you get it now. At least, you think you do. 
“I don’t think this is gonna work.” The words fall from your mouth in a quiet rush. The man across you sits in silence before he smiles in his loss. 
“Don’t worry, I figured. It seems your mind was elsewhere. I know you don’t want to pursue anything romantically, and that’s fine with me, but is everything okay?” 
Is everything okay? Well currently, yeah you’re okay. As for your heart, it’s heavy and strangely, you feel there’s a hole in your chest and it needs to be filled. That would fix things, you think. You have been single for so long that you forgot what it was like to love and cherish someone. Not that you have ever truly loved or cherished anyone, but you’ve gotten close. If a silly relationship you had in your sophomore year of high school counts. Then yes, you’ve totally been in love. 
“I’m okay. Thanks for asking. I didn’t mean to lead you on, if it ever felt like I did.” The apology seems bitter in your mouth. Another failed fucking attempt. How difficult can dating be? Have you really been this disconnected with the world around you? 
“Don’t stress it! Things happen. I hope you can find what you’re looking for. See you… around?” The man’s understanding response makes you feel worse. Maybe you should consider deleting Tinder and finding love naturally, if that’s still a thing in the contemporary life. 
“Yeah, totally!” And like that you’re off to the next. Giving yourself plenty of time to bathe in your disappointment and miserably cry about your failed attempts at finding what you’ve been missing. Who knew dating could be so difficult?
The walk back home is just as cold as the outcome of today’s date. Your date insisted he could drive you home and if not that then pay for a cab, but you didn’t live too far from the restaurant you both met at. Though he insisted, you figured this walk could refresh you after yet another failure. You were starting to regret it as the cold wind started roughly hitting your skin. Preserving the chilly weather, you genuinely couldn’t wait to get home and wrap yourself in a bundle of warm blankets and comfortable clothes. 
Cold hands struggle to open your door, you blow on them with warm puffs of breaths, soon making your way in and getting comfortable in your humble apartment. 
yoon: you up?
And that, that is what made this harder. The fact that you knew there was someone completely capable of loving and caring for you the way you desired. You have seen it with your own eyes. Every time you ended up in his bed, in his arms, you felt it. Deep down you know something is there and that something beats everything else. Maybe you’re just delusional, but you look for him in everyone else and you hate it. Hate because you will never be anything more than his personal little whore that comes at the sound of his call. 
me: yeah
Normally, you aren’t dry over texts, especially not with him so he’ll see right through you. You’re hoping for once, he can ignore it. 
He won't. 
yoon: you ok?
me: been better
yoon: wanna talk about it?
me: no, i'm ok
yoon: ok, wanna come over? 
Yes, because during a time like this all you want is the comfort and warmth of someone else’s touch and Yoongi has never failed at giving that to you. But he is not yours.
And you are not his. 
me: not feeling well. sorry.
yoon: sick? 
A white lie never hurt anyone. 
me: yeah, throat hurts
yoon: im sorry 
me: it's not your fault maybe another time.
Though you really shouldn’t say that. There should be no next time. That way you don’t suffer any longer and drag him down with you, considering everything you’ve been feeling and dealing with lately. It’s not fair to Yoongi, but especially yourself.
He doesn’t reply anymore and you can’t even hide your disappointment. You aren’t disappointed at him, okay maybe a little bit at him, but mainly yourself and your recently found complicated feelings. 
You and Yoongi started this whole mess a year ago, before you even realized what you truly wanted. It started off with subtle flirting here and there. They say not to mess with coworkers, given that it can complicate things at work and one should never play with their main source of income, but you did it anyway. You are still young and he only made you feel younger, like a teenage girl crushing over her forbidden crush at church. It was silly, but Yoongi made it easy. 
The flirting turned to one thing, then another. 
“We shouldn’t, not here.” Yoongi had you pinned outside the club you both worked at, leaving trails of wet kisses down your throat.
“Five more minutes.” His words were muffled into your skin as his hands explored your body. Yoongi’s touch was always way too soft for his own good and you fell victim to his deadly warmth. 
“If Mr. Kim finds out, he’ll kill us and fire us both.” That was a bit dramatic on your part and you swore you felt the taller smiling against your neck.
Yoongi drops one last kiss on your cheek as his hot breath hits your ear. “Not if I kill him first.”
You gasped, pushing him off you with a quick smack to his chest. “D-Don’t even joke like that.” 
Yoongi just laughed. 
“Okay, okay baby.” The term of endearment fell from his lips too easily and you melted into the dark night. “See you after work?” 
You only nodded, not being able to deny his temporary warmth and sweet presence. Then he dropped a kiss on your lips, leaving you just as quick as when he first found you. You were fucked.
From there, it only got worse for your sake. Your heart could only take so much. 
Really, you should blame things on him. It was his fault you fell in love with him and his stupidly soft hands. It was all his fault! He left you no choice but to love the feel of his lips against your skin, to easily melt under his soft gaze, and find comfort in his unnecessarily warm bed. Yoongi was perfect. Everything you could ever want. 
That’s why it was so fucking hard. Dating was hard enough, but after feeling Yoongi’s intimate touch, you were a complete goner. Though he was far from it, Yoongi touched you like you were his and he would fuck you like a lover would. Kissing and making love to you as if you were the most beautiful woman on Earth. It was all too much. 
Fuck, you really needed to get a grip.
The knock on your door makes you jump from your couch. 
Ten minutes longer and you would have fallen asleep exactly where you were lying. In outside clothes and all. You didn’t even bother taking off the outfit you had carefully planned thinking that this lucky outfit would have finally taken you somewhere. It didn’t. 
“Coming!” There’s not a single person that should be outside your door, especially at this hour. Your feet make their way to the door regardless and the blood from your face drains when you see the person standing behind the door. 
Quickly, you unlock your front door, rushing the taller inside. “Hurry! It’s freezing! What are you doing out here?” 
Yoongi’s cheeks are surely frozen, a pink dust decorates his cheeks and the tip of his nose. It almost makes him look cute. You were far more gone than you imagined. 
He hustles inside, carrying a fairly large brown bag with him. He brought… groceries? 
“Took you long enough.” The taller one makes himself at home, laying his bag on your coffee table. 
“What are you even doing here?” You ask again. 
He ignores you. “Thought you said you were sick. You don’t look very sick?” 
Yoongi looks at you with a questioning look, his eyes wander your outfit and guilt starts eating your insides. 
You cross your arms, an attempt to hide yourself in shame, but what’s done is done. “I- I had plans.” 
“Yeah, I see that.” He simply says, standing awkwardly in your living area. 
If this doesn’t convince you to delete that forsaken app for the sake of your dignity and shameful behavior, you don’t know what will.
“Anyways, w-what brings you here?” 
“Brought you some stuff.” His hand waves over to the bag he carried inside. 
“Stuff?” You question, a bit dumbfounded, planted still in your place.
“Tea, cough drops, some soup I made earlier this week. Oh and flowers.” Yoongi doesn’t seem at all embarrassed or fazed about the situation. Not that he should be, but he speaks with a puff to his chest, as if he wanted to ensure you understood his every word and action. Like any concerned lover would be. As if he was yours and you were his.
Oh.
This was so so bad. For you and your weak heart. Fuck.
“I-“ 
He cuts you off before you even get to speak. “I don’t know if you’ll like it. It’s just some plain seaweed soup. Usually helps me when I’m sick. I’m not sure what flowers you like, or if you even like flowers. Do you? Their tulips. I did a bit of research before. My mom likes tulips. I figured you might like them too.” 
He did research? Double fuck! 
Yoongi was nervously rambling, now he was slightly embarrassed. Pink flushes his cheeks and it wasn’t the weather’s doing this time. 
“Yoongi…” You start breathlessly and in disbelief. 
“What?” He nearly stutters, his hand is shaking. He’s nervous. Who would have thought? 
“Why.” Is all you manage to ask. 
“You were sick.” Is all he replies. As if things were really that simple. What next? Would he come rushing to the hospital if you suddenly fell ill? God forbid, but it was a valid question. 
What was going on? For a second, you entertain the idea. Maybe he fell in love between the blurry lines of this complicated relationship. Were the shared intimate memories too special for him to forget too? You weren’t sure anymore, but what did this all mean? Maybe he loves you, as much as you love him.
Thoughts keep spinning and you wish there was an easier way to turn off your brain. Not now.
“I know, but why? Why all this? Why for me?” Your vulnerability is showing and it makes you feel weak. Maybe your hands are shaking too. 
“I don't understand?” Yoongi searches for the answer in your glossy eyes, he’s tempted to reach out and comfort you. Have you in his hands, but he’s too coward. He doesn’t want you to feel the shiver of his touch right now. His vulnerability peaks through as well. 
Why not you? It’s always going to be you. 
“I-I’m nothing to you.” There’s a shiver again and then you break. 
Yoongi doesn’t care anymore. He’ll consider the consequences later. Right now, none of it matters.
His hands hold your face, ready to wipe the tears that threaten to leak from your precious eyes. He hopes his hands aren't cold anymore from standing outside for so damn long, but he couldn’t stop himself, in his selfishness and all.
His hands shake slightly, trying to stay strong as he lays it all on the table. “Y/N, you’re everything to me.” He whispers, eyes never leaving yours.
You lay your own hands on his, you feel so delicate around him when you wrap warm hands around his cold wrists.
“I-I am?” You ask between sniffles. His hands are still pretty cold, but they’ll soon warm up against your soft skin. Nobody knows how desperately you need to be touched until you are and then it’s like little fireworks spark inside your body. It consumes you in the best way possible.
“Of course. I thought I made that obvious.” His eyes are soft, different to how he typically looks at you, but you’ve seen these same eyes before. They are no stranger. It’s similar to the look he gives you when you catch him staring at you while you are deep in work. He pretends to look away as if he wasn’t admiring you from afar and you pretend that you don’t notice his curious eyes. It’s the same look he has after you both end up in heated makeout sessions, behind the rusty club you both work at. And it’s definitely the same look he has while he settles on top of you, whispering sweet words of praise and promise.
Nothing should feel different but it just does, there’s something in the way he looks down at you that lets you know that everything you’ve been searching for has always been right here. Right where you’ve been all along.
The taller leans in and you freeze struggling to keep your eyes on his. Yoongi’s thumb brushes against your cheek with a soft touch. You were fragile between his hands and he’s willing to do anything to keep his precious flower safe. “Can I kiss you?” 
“Yes. Please.” You whisper back in a hurry, scared that this would be nothing but a dream. It wasn’t time for you to wake up yet.
His eyes zero-in on your lips and then he’s kissing you. It’s not much different from other times. After all, you guys have shared plenty of kisses, probably more than you should have considering you guys were friends with benefits, at most. But this time, the kiss isn’t just a careless lust-filled doing, no this time the kiss is a promise. The promise to never again allow you to question his feelings and intentions towards you. 
If Yoongi has to spend his whole life making this up to you, he simply would because that’s how much you meant to him. He can’t believe he even let this go on for this long. He should have been more clear and careful, but he doesn’t regret a damn thing. Not when he has all the time in the world to repair the time lost. And especially not when his reckless actions led him to this. To you.
Yoongi’s lips are soft and bend with yours with ease. He takes his time, never in a rush. Especially not when he has you in-hand. 
The taller doesn’t escalate the kiss. He keeps it sweet and gentle, like he always has been. “I’m so sorry baby.” 
Kiss.
“For?” 
Kiss.
Yoongi has the whole world in his hands right now as he looks down into the sparkles in your eyes and he’s never been so sure about anything in his life. “For being a fucking idiot.”
Kiss. 
“It’s okay.” A kiss is shared again. “I was an idiot too. I was just scared that you wouldn’t want that with me.” 
“Want what?” The taller questions, fingers trailing your face, admiring the imperfections and all. 
“A relationship, I mean. You seemed content with how our relationship already was. I was afraid of losing that. Of losing you.” You admit, eyes fluttering at his touch. 
“Of course, I want that. I want that and more. I-I’m not the best with relationships. I’m only saying this because I want to be open and honest with you. There’s not a second you aren’t on my mind. While at work, you are all I can see. In a crowd of a hundred, my eyes always find yours. I don’t know how to explain what you do to me. But I don’t mind. I think if I ever lost that, I would lose my mind. So I’m sorry if I ever made you feel the opposite. There’s so much more I want to say, but I just don’t know how. I want that. I want that so bad. A relationship and whatever more you give me. I might not be the best boyfriend but I’ll do whatever it takes. I- I love you.” Yoongi’s words are heartfelt and he’s so relieved. One because he’s been keeping this in for so long, any longer and he would have exploded, but second because he’s been dying to say those three words. He really does love you and Yoongi doesn’t love many people in life, but if he had to choose, it’s always gonna be you. 
The tears that were creeping on your eye-lids fall prettily down your face, but Yoongi comes to your rescue. He’s quick to wipe them off your pretty face, tempted to kiss them away, but he keeps that in for now. “Y-Yoongi… I love you too. So much. I think I always have. You are so easy to love. The way you look at me, care for me, and always show up for me. That says more about you than anything else. I tried dating to get over what I felt for you, as you can probably tell, but nothing worked. It was so easy, Yoongi. So easy to fall in love with you. You’re perfect and I don’t doubt that you’ll be the best even after all this. I love you.”
“I love you too, I love you. Fuck, I love you.” Yoongi kisses you again and this time he isn’t as gentle. His lips are still soft as ever as they curl around yours. His tongue comes out and you immediately allow access, letting him explore your mouth. The taste is much better now that there isn’t anything you both are holding back. Everything down on the line and you couldn’t be happier. The hole in your heart was never empty, it was just waiting for this exact moment to remind you that you’ve always had it all. 
“Yoongi.” In between breaths you call his name and Yoongi feels his knees lock. “Take me to bed.” 
Yoongi just nods in a trance with the way your tone drips of arousal. A long strand of hair falls on his face when he picks you up with ease off your feet. He takes you to the place he’s had the honor to visit a hundred times before, but it’s different this time, much different. 
In the process of it all, something falls and it causes you both to laugh until you run out of breath. 
“I can’t believe that just happened.” You laugh into his ear. “You owe me a new lamp. My mother bought me that, you know. House-warming gift.”
“Fuck, sorry.” Yoongi mumbles near a whisper as he grips you harder like he’s afraid he might drop you next and the idea makes you giggle because you know he would never purposely hurt you. “I’ll apologize to your mother directly. Buy you and her a new lamp, whatever it takes.”
“What makes you think you are meeting my mother?” You tease with a smile on your face, watching the blush rise on his cheeks. 
“Well, I figured we could, you know, if you would like–” Yoongi doesn’t often get shy about many things but he can’t keep calm around you and that kills him softly.
“I’m just teasing you.” You say and he bites his lip. “Of course you’ll meet my mother and my father and my nosy ass family. I hope you like annoying, persistent grandma’s that stuff you full. My grandma’s the worst of her kind, but she’ll love you.”
“I would love to.” Yoongi simply replies, still whispering as if you guys had to keep quiet or else you’d be in deep trouble. 
“Why are we still whispering?” You whisper back, roaming fingers through his long, gorgeous hair. He needs to remind you to thank his mother personally for insisting he keep his hair long because it made him look pretty and you could never disagree. Yoongi’s so pretty. 
“I-I don’t know.” 
You both smile at each other before sharing another kiss. It’s so sweet and if you weren’t already off your feet, you would be floating by now. He’s gentle when letting you drop into the sheets below, he finds space between your legs and you wrap them around his hips. Lips still in contact, never losing the plushy feel. 
Everything starts to feel hot. Your hips start to slowly grind against his begging for any sort of friction. But the kissing doesn’t stop. 
Not when you start whining against his lips. 
Not even when Yoongi starts trailing his fingers down your waist and around your curves. He teases his fingertips against your waistline, soft to the touch. 
It’s not until you mewl loudly into his mouth, skillful tongue playing with yours, as you feel him start unbuckling your pants, button-by-button. 
Yoongi’s eyes are heavy-lidded, his gaze burning fire. “Gonna take care of you now, is that okay?” 
You furiously nod, coming up to kiss him once more, both your lips are raw and sensitive, but it gives you more of a reason to fix it with even more kisses. 
He drops one quick kiss onto your mouth before he trails down your jaw. Yoongi breathes in the sweet scent on your skin, wishing he could feel you even closer. “Smell so damn good.”
His voice is raspy against your ear and it makes you blush, while you feel his hand finally touch you where you had been aching with need. “Wanna hear you.”
Breathing lightly, you whisper. “Make me.” 
And of course, Yoongi makes you regret how fast you said the words because he delves his fingers forward with little resistance. Two fingers stretch you at the same time, gasping at the sudden sensation. 
By now, you were molded to fit Yoongi’s fingers. On days where you were really in need, you would take four, all at once. Yoongi was best at reading every expression, every crease and scrunch to your face, especially emotions. He knew exactly how to curve his fingers, the way to build you up, and bring you back down. Yoongi knew it all and he was so lucky too. 
He never anticipated it would have gone this far. It was just sex to begin with. But who were you both kidding, it was always much, much more. 
Yoongi curves his fingers in the way he’s used to and watches your mouth drop, sweet noises soon leaving your lips. “Feels good?” 
There’s no need to ask because he can tell. Your expression tells him everything he needs to know. That and the fact that you are dripping around his fingers but it’s sexier hearing it from you. 
“Yeah… f-feels so good.” With his other hand he tugs your clothes off, leaving you bare on the bottom. Remembering the first few times is a bit embarrassing, but Yoongi always made sure to take his time and make you feel comfortable. It was special and memorable in its own way, and Yoongi felt it too. 
This is unlike any first time, but it was technically the first time you could officially make love to each other until you fall lovesick and that had to be impossible around someone like Yoongi. 
“Hold your legs open for me, flower.” You try to ignore the warm feeling that buzzes in your chest, but you are sure your face says it all. Without another word, you spread your legs open, tucking both hands behind your thighs.
“Flower?” You breathe out with a bit of a struggle as his two fingers continue to pump deep inside you, brushing repeatedly against your g-spot. 
“Do you not like it?” Yoongi smiles slightly, biting his bottom lip while he watches you start to tremble, making the prettiest sounds. 
“I do. Why the new name?” Voice a bit unsteady but it does the job. Yoongi thinks of all the times he thought you were as pretty as a flower, which really was all the time. Especially, in the way he has you right now. Pretty, pretty as a flower. 
“I’ve always wanted to call you that. You’re pretty, sweet, delicate. Just like a flower.” He justifies his reasoning and you melt into puddles. 
“Yoongi.” Voice sweet as honey. 
“Yes baby.” He replies with ease.
“Make love to me, Yoongi.” 
There was a time in his life where Yoongi believed he could live without love. How foolish of him to think so. When he met you, it was a complete three-sixty. Suddenly, Yoongi started to look forward to his shit job. He looked forward to that time between breaks where he could admire you from the back like a pinning loser. Yoongi even started to like the walks he had to take to get to work because he knew that the path would eventually lead to you. He started looking forward to tomorrow's and to the bright future that led ahead. His mom would often complain that he was wasting his life away waiting for it to start, but Yoongi thinks life truly started the day he met you. 
It was a bit awkward because you couldn’t even look him in the eyes, intimated by the staff and new environment. You had previously worked in different bars so you assumed it would be no different and it wasn’t, but the intimidation of a new job was there nonetheless. Yoongi was there every step of the way. He had a crush on the new employee and you needed help on fitting in. Either way, your friendship was very platonic until it wasn’t. 
Yoongi knows he should have said something along the lines “hey, maybe we shouldn't be doing this anymore. I’m in love with you and I have been since you started working here” but the stupid words never made it out. He felt it would be too much to hear and it would only make him look like a complete loser. 
And you felt the same. It was silly really, because everyone around you knew it and there was no reason to fear someone as easy going and non-judgemental as Yoongi, nonetheless it brought you both here. After many failed dating attempts, you were finally happy and in the arms of someone who you truly love and want to be loved by. 
There was a time in his life where Yoongi believed he could live without love, now Yoongi believes your precious, sweet love brought him back to life and he wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. 
Clothes now discarded on the floor, heavy breathing filling the room, and Yoongi could get wasted on the smell of your intoxicating perfume. “Breathe flower.”
Yoongi felt you shiver at the sound of his words, throwing your head back as he thrusts you full of cock. He pushes inside you with gentle movements, struggling to keep himself up while feeling the tug of your warm velvet-like walls. 
You gasp feeling him hit your cervix in a calm, slow pace. It was breathtaking regardless of the gentle rhythm. “You’re so deep...”
“I know flower, breathe baby, breathe.” He is struggling to keep from coming inside you, overwhelmed by his own emotions as your eyes roll back, feeling the pressure rise in your belly. Without a condom, everything feels so different from other times, feeling every ridge and crease fold inside your drenching heat. You take him so nicely, like you always have. Like you’ve always belonged to him. 
You don’t even notice you stopped breathing until you start feeling lightheaded and desperate for fresh air. Breathing just as much as necessary so you don’t faint, you shake your head against his hold, his eyes watch yours, observing with curiosity. 
“No?”
“Mm, n-no.” You shake your head again, whimpering when you feel him kiss your cervix with his swollen tip, over and over and over. “Can– can you…”
“Can I what, pretty flower?” Yoongi rolls his hips a bit faster, feeling his orgasm build too quickly. He wishes he could have days with you like this always. Days to love and worship you from head to toe.
“Choke me.” You manage to say. “Don— don’t wanna breathe.” 
Yoongi growls deep, increasing his speed even more, desperate to fill the deepest part of your glistening folds. He feels you tense underneath, the sounds coming from your mouth are loud enough for your neighbors to hear, but Yoongi stopped giving a fuck about everything around him. 
He places a hand on your throat and squeezes gently, not blocking off your airways completely, but leaving you just enough air to work with. It drives you insane. The more you breathe, his rough thrusts take the air out from your lungs and the process repeats. It feels so good.  
“M-more. Harder.” You barely hear your own words, but Yoongi seems to understand because his dick is moving rapidly inside you, nearly splitting you in two. You wrap both hands around his wrist, loving the heavy weight against your chest. It’ll end too soon and it disappoints you in a way, but you have all the time in the world to make this up. “G-Gonna come.” 
Yoongi nods, concentrating on the way your face scrunches with pleasure. With love. The way your eyes tell him a story. God, Yoongi’s madly in love. “Come, my precious flower.” 
With those final words, you come on his bare slick cock, blossoming in the blissful afterglow. Yoongi doesn’t stop thrusting inside you, but he takes his hand off your throat, kissing your face gently when he sees tears start leaking down your cheeks. 
“It’s okay, you’re okay baby. Breathe for me. Slowly.” Yoongi’s words bring you back down and you throw your arms around him, crying against his shoulder. You don’t even know what invoked this strong emotion to sob your eyes out, but Yoongi allows it, caressing the back of your head. Yoongi doesn’t judge, he only holds you until you settle down. “It’s okay baby, let it out. Breathe, pretty flower.” 
“C-Come inside muh-me, please.” Even after all that, you still beg for him and Yoongi wants to laugh but for your sake and the fact that it’s endearing to him, he delivers accordingly without further questions. 
Right as he’s going to paint your walls white, he pushes himself up with one hand, still holding you with the other. “You sure?”
You’re confused about the sudden question, the tears still decorate your face but then you understand. “Birth control. Just come in me Yoongi, fuck me, fu-fuck.”
Yoongi doesn’t hesitate to regain his brutal pace, fucking you with purpose. Not that he doesn’t want kids in the near future, but he sure as hell doesn’t want any right now. He’s glad you are on the same page but maybe one day the conversation would spark and he wouldn’t want the mother of his kids to be anyone else but you. You were perfect for him. 
“Gonna come.” That’s the only warning you get, then he’s emptying himself inside your tight walls. He doesn’t stop rolling his hips, his slit leaking puddles, until he’s pumped himself dry. With one last thrust, he groans and carefully pulls out. 
He brings you with him, head falling against his chest as he continues to play with your hair, leaving kisses into your bare shoulders. “You okay baby?”
“Perfect. Feel so good.” You mumble into his skin, feeling around his waist. “I’m leaking your come into the sheets though.”
“I’ll take care of it, pretty flower.” You nod sleepily into his chest with a quiet ‘thank you’, feeling completely sated and satisfied, aching with exhaustion. “Sleep baby, I got you.”
With that, you fall deep into the shackles of sleep. Yoongi rubs your back until you completely fall asleep in his arms. He struggles to unwrap himself from your hold, but when he finally succeeds, he tucks you in and kisses your cheek a few times before getting up to clean up after the mess you both created. 
He’s light on his feet, bringing a warm towel to your slick folds and wipes as best he can, being gentle so you could continue to enjoy your sleep. Even like this, you look so beautiful and Yoongi is an extremely lucky man. 
Yoongi makes sure to also pick up the lamp he dropped from earlier as well. He blows out a breath of relief when he notices that the damage is nothing big and nothing that can’t be fixed. He’ll make sure to fix that as soon as he can. 
While he’s out there, Yoongi places the tulips into a vase and fills it with water, placing it near a window where it could grow and blossom beautifully near the sunlight. He even cuts the tips into slants because he had heard somewhere online they last longer that way, making sure to get rid of any dead leaves and petals. Yoongi couldn’t be happier.
After he’s done with the light cleaning, he washes his hands and feels the exhaustion hit him tenfold. He’s careful when placing himself back in bed, lifting your arm and placing himself underneath you. The man smiles when he feels you curl yourself around him, sleeping soundlessly. 
“I love you.” He whispers and even though you don’t say it back Yoongi feels it with the way you melt into his arms. Yoongi falls asleep easily that night. 
“Baby.” Yoongi hears someone call him and he ignores it. Sleep calls his name louder and he doesn’t feel like waking up right now so he groans and cuddles deeper into the bedsheets below him, unaware of the life around him. 
“Baby wake up.” You keep calling sweetly and it’s tempting but he persists.
“No. Don’t wanna.” Yoongi grumbles like an old man and you can’t help but to laugh. “Just ten more minutes.”
When you woke up the next morning, you were so thankful Yoongi had kept his promise. Your apartment was flawless and you were as clean as you could be. The tulips looked prettier today as the sun shined on the delicate petals. You even had time to warm the seaweed soup he brought from home and you couldn’t wait to get a taste. The smell alone is delicious and it warmed your home up nicely, you truly couldn’t wrap your head around the fact that this was no longer a dream but your reality. You could definitely get used to this. 
You drop kisses onto his warm cheeks until his eyes flutter open, almost similar to a cat. “There you are.”
Yoongi pulls you into his arms again with quiet noncoherent grumbles and closes his eyes once more. “Give me ten minutes.”
“It’s already been ten.” You whisper lightly laughing. 
“Oh. Ten more then.” You get comfortable on his chest and cuddle for a bit longer because you can’t say no to his cute sleepy self. 
Yoongi starts to sniff the air with curiosity. “Is that the seaweed soup I brought you?” 
“Mhm.” You hum. “Better get up soon before it burns.” 
That manages to be convincing enough and Yoongi forces himself up, with you in his embrace. 
“Wanna wake up like that forever.” He says, voice filled with sleep. 
“You can.” 
Yoongi snaps his heavy eyes towards you. “Are you–”
“Move in with me, Yoongi.” Yes, you skipped every step to this, but nothing was ever to code between you and Yoongi. One thing you were so sure of and that was spending the rest of your life with him. “Please.”
“I- yes, of course.” Yoongi wraps his arms around you for a tight hug, kissing your temple. “I love you. I love you and I’ll prove it to you every single day.” 
“I know, I love you too. I love you.” Those three words come out from your mouths so easily and it’s nice that you no longer have to ever hold back. The man of your dreams is in the palms of your humble home and he’s in love with you. This was better than any dream. 
“Let’s eat?” He says after some time of hugging and kisses being interchanged. 
You nod, letting him take you there. Your kitchen is filled with the cruel aroma of food and your tummy rumbles as you sit comfortably while you wait for him to serve you a bowl of the warm tasty soup. 
“I should be doing that. I’m a terrible host.” Yoongi shakes his head while smiling, the fluff of hair moving with him, then your phone dings. “Hold on, give me a second.” 
Your heart drops when you see it is a Tinder notification from a man you promised to get back to. You look over to find Yoongi serving your bowl, making his way to the table. He leans in puckering slightly and you immediately lean into the sweet sudden kiss while he places your meal in front of you. This Yoongi is new because it wasn’t often you could act domestically towards one another, however this was perfect and just what you needed. 
“Everything okay baby?” Yoongi asks while caressing your soft cheek and you immediately nod in his palm. 
“Yes, everything’s perfect.” You reply in awe. “Thank you Yoongi, for everything.”
For letting me love you and for loving me back. 
The older man just smiles and joins you for the meal. 
It turns out you didn’t need Tinder after all. 
You quickly delete the app off your phone and start to eat with the love of your life, conversation flows while you enjoy each other’s presence and fall deeper in love. 
Alike Yoongi, you couldn’t imagine it happening any other way. You were bound to fall in love, one way or another, but that man was meant to be yours as you were meant to be his.
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sunsetreid · 7 months
Text
christmas gift [ s. reid ]
— part two !
part of the ‘ back to school night ‘ series
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find part one here !
pairing : teacher!Spencer Reid x single mom!reader
summary / prompt : three months after she begins to see him, (Y/N) wants to tell her daughter about her and Spencer’s relationship … but Spencer isn’t sure that he’s ready to tell Cassia
requested : kinda
genre : smut, fluff, and angst (the trifecta !)
warnings : age gap (8 years), mentions of body and self esteem issues, language throughout, angst (with an eventual happy ending), explicit sexual content, oral (m receiving), p in v protected sex, pet names during sex
【 18+ CONTENT BELOW (minors dni !) 】
Sneaking around is hard enough, but sneaking around with an 8-year-old child in the house is a whole other level. Especially for three months.
(Y/N) hates feeling like she’s lying to her daughter and that she has been since early September.
There are two days until Christmas. It’s been three and a half months of sneaking around and coming up with lies about why she has to stay at her dad’s for a few extra hours after school.
Cassia is young and loves her dad enough to not ask questions or be suspicious of her mother’s behavior. (Y/N) is at least grateful for that.
(Y/N) and her daughter are in the car on the way to Cassia's father's house on Christmas Eve Eve. According to their custody agreement, Cassia is to spend the night of the 23rd into the 24th with her father while spending the 24th into the 25th. Her father is always welcome to join them to open presents with their daughter on Christmas.
"Mom," Cassia says from the backseat. "What do you do when you drop me off at Daddy's?"
She blinks and looks in the rearview mirror at her daughter. "I stay up really late and have a couple of adult drinks," she replies. It's not a complete lie. Sometimes she has a guest over ... in her bed.
"Daddy lets me stay up late," Cassia says.
"I know he does," (Y/N) replies when she pulls up and parks out front of her ex's house. She turns in her seat to look at Cassia. "I've told him not to multiple times but he never listens to me. Anyway, we're here. Grab your backpack."
An excited Cassia grabs her backpack while her mother helps her out of the car. She runs up to the door and knocks on it. (Y/N) is right behind her as her father opens the door.
Cassia's father leans down and picks her up. "Back again, Munchkin?"
"Mom is going to stay up late and have adult drinks," Cassia tells her father. "She's so boring."
"Ouch," (Y/N) laughs before snatching her back from her father. "I'll be back for you tomorrow, squirt. Now go play. I have to talk to your father."
She runs up the stairs. Cassia's father, Mateo, leans against the doorframe. "I'm not in trouble, am I?"
(Y/N) shakes her head. "I just wanted to know how you told Cassia that you were dating someone," she replies. "Because I have no idea how to do that, especially because it's someone she knows."
Mateo says, "I gave her ice cream and told her about Jenna when she was at her happiest. She seemed happy, but she didn't meet Jenna for a few more weeks. She would ask me so many times a day when she would get to meet her so I eventually caved in. If she knows the guy you're dating then she shouldn't have much of an issue."
"So give her ice cream and tell her about my boyfriend," (Y/N) repeats. "Sounds good. Thanks. I'll be back around one tomorrow to come get her."
When she turns around to leave, Mateo says, "Hey, I don't get to know about your new boyfriend? I told you about Jenna when we started telling people about our relationship."
(Y/N)'s cheeks heat up. She still isn't used to calling Spencer her boyfriend. That title is only about six weeks old, but they've casually been seeing each other since back-to-school night.
“It’s still kind of new,” she admits. “I don’t think we’re ready to tell people yet, except maybe Cassia. I have to talk with him when I see him later.”
Mateo wiggles his eyebrows. “Later,” he teases. “Have fun later.”
“Shut up,” she playfully snaps. “I have to go get his gift so if you’ll excuse me.”
He lets her go this time. (Y/N) walks to her car and starts it up when she’s inside.
It’s a half-hour drive back to her apartment from Mateo’s house that he and his now fiancé share. She’s quick to get inside and get Spencer’s Christmas gift.
The gift isn’t exactly something that Spencer can unwrap, so she throws on a trench coat on top of the lingerie set that she bought so Spencer can “unwrap” her.
The set is red and lacy since it is Christmas. The bra is pretty much see-through and hides nothing. The panties are the same way. She’s practically naked.
She curls her hair, puts on some red lipstick to match the set, and then gets back in her car to head to Spencer’s.
Her hands are shaking as she drives the ten minutes to Spencer’s apartment. She’s never done anything like this for anyone, not even Mateo. They were together for years and she never put on lingerie to surprise him.
Needless to say, (Y/N) is extremely nervous. She has no idea how Spencer is going to react to his “gift”.
(Y/N) sits outside of Spencer’s apartment building for a few minutes when she pulls into the spot next to his car. She has completely lost the confidence she had when she bought the set a few weeks ago. She even contemplates going home to change really quickly and grabbing the actual gift that she was going to give to him after Christmas the next time she saw him.
Her plans to flee and change are quickly shut down when Spencer texts her.
‘ Almost here ? I’m ready for my present :) ‘
‘ just pulled up. give me a second. patience, dr reid ‘
‘ Finishing up some grading so just come in ‘
‘ got it. see you in a few seconds ‘
With a sigh, (Y/N) gets out of the car. Her heels click on the pavement as she walks into the building. She gets on the elevator because Spencer just has to live on the top floor, and she is not walking up six flights of steps in heels. That sounds like torture to her feet.
In the elevator, she sees herself in the mirror which is the wall of the elevator. Her hair still looks nice. Her lips are a rosey red color. Her eyes are bright and she is glowing.
She looks good. Who cares what a boy thinks?
Her confidence rebuilds itself just as the elevator dings and the doors open.
After a short walk down the hallway, (Y/N) knocks as she opens the door to Spencer’s apartment. “Spence? Where are you?” she calls as she sticks her head into the apartment.
“Office,” a faint voice calls from somewhere. “Be right there.”
As she closes the door behind her, a slightly disheveled Spencer Reid appears out of the hallway that leads to two bedrooms, a bathroom, and an office. He smiles when his eyes meet (Y/N)’s.
“Hi, my love,” (Y/N) greets him. Spencer leans down and presses a chaste kiss to her lips. “How is grading going?”
“Well, I’m grading spelling tests in cursive so it’s only a little frustrating since the kids are still learning how to write in cursive,” Spencer tells her. “Cassia’s writing is beautiful, by the way. Wonder where she gets that from.”
She smiles and wraps her arms around Spencer’s neck. “I taught her well,” she replies.
Spencer brings one of his hands up and traces her jaw with the back of his pointer finger. “A child’s first teacher is their mother,” he softly says. “No wonder she is insanely smart.”
“Stop trying to flatter me,” (Y/N) laughs. “You already know how much I like you. You don’t need to flatter me anymore. Not that you did much of that to begin with.”
He laughs in reply. “Give me ten minutes to finish up with grading then I am all yours,” Spencer tells her as he presses another quick kiss to her lips.
“Go be a teacher, Doctor Reid,” she replies. “I’ll be right here while you finish up.” There’s a hint of mischief in her voice and a smug smirk on her face. Spencer notices but he doesn’t ask any questions. He just raises his eyebrows at her.
Without another word, Spencer turns on his heels and heads back down to his office. She doesn’t hear a door shut, which she knows he likes to do when he wants to be left alone in his office.
She gives it five minutes before she puts her plan in motion and slowly makes her way down to the office. She walks very slowly and tries not to make any noise.
(Y/N) pushes the door open slightly and pops her head in to see her boyfriend hard at work. He has on his cute little glasses and looks concentrated on the paper on his desk. His head rests in one hand.
It would be a lie if she said that a focused Spencer is very hot. Especially when he goes into what she calls “teacher mode”, like he’s in right now.
He writes a letter on the paper that is in front of him before he puts it to the side. Spencer glances up to see (Y/N) standing at the door. He takes a second look.
“Sorry,” she says. “Couldn’t resist coming down and watching you work for a few minutes.”
Spencer laughs and shakes his head. "You would find a way to come watch me work," he replies as he leans back in his chair. He puts his glasses down on his desk. "I just finished though. Come here."
She smiles and walks further into the room. "I like watching you work, Spence," (Y/N) tells him as she leans against the desk with her legs between his knees. "You look so focused and cute. I can't help it."
"You know," Spencer slowly says. "I've noticed you haven't taken off that jacket yet when you usually get comfortable within seconds of walking in here."
(Y/N) sucks her bottom lip between her teeth. "Maybe your present is under the jacket," she tells him. Spencer raises his eyebrows. "Why don't you find out?"
He stands up, his legs between (Y/N)'s knees. She leans back on her hands on his desk so he can easily untie the tie that's keeping the jacket closed.
Her entire body shakes as Spencer undoes the tie around her waist. The jacket falls open and Spencer's eyes widen as he gets a look at what's underneath the jacket. "Fuck, (Y/N)," he mumbles under his breath. "You're going to kill me."
"Well, we wouldn't want that now, would we?" she says as she goes to close the jacket again.
Spencer shakes his head and almost shouts, "No, no, no!" He pushes the jacket off of (Y/N)'s shoulders until it pools around her wrists on the desk. She smiles when his hands slide to her waist and rest on the bare skin above the waistband of the panties. His thumb plays with the waistband itself. "I like it. Actually, I love it."
She smiles and feels her cheeks heat up. "Glad you like it," she says. "Merry Christmas."
"I like my Christmas present," he mumbles. (Y/N) has noticed that his eyes haven't left her body. "My pretty girl."
Her nickname that Spencer only uses when he wants sex or is turned on causes her cheeks to overheat.
She doesn't know how but she pulls her hands out of the sleeves of the jacket to reach out and cup Spencer's jaw. His warm eyes meet hers, and she sees a darkness in them. The same darkness he has when he craves her. (Y/N)'s hands slide down his neck and chest. Her fingers work at untying the tie around his neck.
"I don't understand why you always wear a full suit and tie," she tells him. "What have you done today that made you put this on."
"Faculty meeting at the school this morning," he replies as she gets the tie undone. "You've gotten better at untying ties, baby."
Using the tie, (Y/N) pulls Spencer close to her. He smiles. "I have a really good teacher," she teases.
As soon as the last word passes her lips, Spencer closes the space between them. His lips attack hers and he bites her lower lip. (Y/N) hums and uses her heels to pull Spencer even closer to her.
His hands come up and his fingers find a home in her curls. His fingers curl in her locks, not letting her go very far.
The tie drops to the floor, the jacket follows shortly after. (Y/N) begins to work on unbuttoning the shirt he's wearing. She untucks the shirt and shoves it off his shoulders to the floor.
She hooks her fingers into the waistband of his pants and turns them around so Spencer is the one against the desk. She kisses her way to his neck and mumbles, "That was only part one of your gift." She undoes the belt around his waist. The metal clangs together as she undoes it. Quickly, she pushes his pants down. "This is part two."
Before Spencer can reply, (Y/N) slides down to her knees in front of him. "Oh, fuck me," Spencer breathes out.
"That's going to be your job," she teases as she takes his semi into her hand. It doesn't take very long for the semi to get fully hard after she begins to stroke him. "Right now, I want you to fuck my mouth."
Spencer gnaws on his bottom lip as (Y/N) wraps hers around his dick. Her tongue swirls around the tip before she takes him in her mouth. She looks up at him with her eyes and finds that his head is thrown back. His lips are red and kiss-bruised from the rough kisses they shared earlier.
(Y/N) hollows out her cheeks and Spencer groans. “Oh my God,” he pants. He slowly begins to thrust his hips into her mouth. She stops moving her head and lets Spencer completely take over.
She feels Spencer grab a fistful of her curls. When he pulls slightly, (Y/N) lets out a soft groan around him. He looks down at her and she notices his eyes darken.
“You look so pretty like this, baby,” Spencer tells her. “You’re so pretty on your knees for me.” His hoarse voice goes straight down to her already soaked core.
When (Y/N) looks up at Spencer, she isn’t ready for the sight above her.
His hair has fallen into his face as he looks down at her and it moves very slightly as he rolls his hips. He tries to push it out of his face but it falls right back into place. His lips are still swollen. He looks at her like he is addicted to her.
He might be. She definitely is.
By her hair, Spencer pulls her off of his leaking dick. “As much as I want to come in that pretty mouth of yours,” he begins to say as he helps (Y/N) up to her feet. He pulls her against him and continues to talk in her ear. “I’d rather get you naked in my bed and fuck you until you can’t walk tomorrow.”
His words make her shiver with excitement and anticipation.
Spencer kicks his pants completely off before he grabs her hand and leads her out of the room. They completely abandon their clothes in the office as they walk down the hallway.
As soon as they pass the threshold into Spencer’s bedroom, his lips are on hers. His hands are back on her jaw and she’s reaching behind her to unclasp the bra. It falls to the floor before Spencer’s knees hit the bed and he sits on the mattress.
The kiss breaks when Spencer hits the mattress. He looks up at (Y/N) with eyes that have something different than lust in them. She doesn’t recognize the feeling in them.
She slides off the soaked panties before crawling onto his lap. She straddles his thighs and Spencer attaches himself to her neck. He kisses her neck and collarbone while she runs her fingers through his locks.
Honestly, her fingers are in Spencer’s hair so much, she’d be upset if he cut his hair. It gives her something to grab on to when he rails into her.
Spencer cups one of her breasts and flicks her nipple with his tongue. She shivers under his touch and rolls her hips against his. “Baby,” she breathes out. “What happened to wanting to fuck me?”
“In a second,” he mumbles against her skin. “Let me show you how beautiful you are.”
She can’t help but smile at the comment.
(Y/N) has told Spencer about all of the body image and self esteem issues that she’s had over the years since she had a baby. She told him about how she hates how much her weight fluctuates since she had Cassia and about how she’s hated how her body has looked since.
Now he makes it his mission to remind her how beautiful she is every time they fall into bed together or when they take a bath together. Every time he sees her naked, he tells her how beautiful she is. He always makes it a point to kiss all of the stretch marks across her stomach because she is always so insecure about them.
Spencer rolls them over and (Y/N) scoots closer to the pillows. He goes into his bedside table to retrieve a tiny package. She watches him rip the package open with his teeth and roll its contents onto himself.
Almost like he could hear what she was thinking about two seconds ago, Spencer leans down and presses soft kisses across her belly. She giggles and runs her fingers through his hair.
The kisses trail up her belly and between her breasts until he’s hovering on top of her. (Y/N)’s legs fall open so he can get comfortable between them. He lines himself up with her and meets her eyes. He doesn’t dare move. He hasn’t asked yet.
“You’re so beautiful, (Y/N),” he whispers. “So fucking beautiful. You know that?”
“I know,” she replies, voice soft. She reaches up and runs her thumb over his kiss-bruised lips. Spencer kisses the pad of her thumb. “You’re pretty too.”
Spencer laughs and leans down to kiss (Y/N) so softly that her heart flutters in her chest. It happens every time he kisses her like this.
She runs her thumbs over his cheekbones and pulls back from the kiss. He looks between her eyes and asks, “Can I?”
“Absolutely.”
He smiles and she looks down to watch him push into her. The sudden pressure causes her to gasp and close her eyes. It’s a familiar and welcomed pressure as he fills her.
“Spence,” she breathes out. “For the love of God. Move.”
A soft laugh comes from above her before he begins to slowly move his hips into her. A soft hum comes from (Y/N) as his movements speed up and he thrusts deeper into her.
The bed begins to freak beneath them as Spencer moves faster. The sounds coming from (Y/N) grow louder the deeper he moves into her. She bucks her hips up at the same time Spencer moves into her. She matches his speed.
Spencer’s hand holds (Y/N)’s waist, helping her. He leans down and presses his forehead to hers. The tips of their noses touch every time Spencer thrusts into her.
A knot forms at the bottom of her stomach. It threatens to come undone every time Spencer moves.
She opens her eyes and looks at Spencer above her. (Y/N) feels the world around her freeze and her heart skips a beat in her chest.
It’s cliché and she knows that, but it truly does feel like they are the only two people in the world at this very moment. All she can think about is Spencer and how she is falling in love with him a little more every second they spend together.
Spencer’s fingers on her clit end up bringing her back to reality. “Fuck,” she moans. “Fuck, Spencer.” She bites back louder moans.
“Don’t do that, baby,” Spencer breathes out. He pulls her bottom lip out of her mouth. “I want to hear you, pretty girl. I want to hear everything that comes out of that pretty mouth of yours.”
His words cause the knot in her stomach to tighten.
“Spencer,” she whines. “Please make me come. I’m so close. Please.” Her pleas sound like she’s begging him.
It sounds almost like a challenge, and that’s how he takes it.
He pulls almost completely out of her before he slams back into her. It only takes a few times before the knot comes undone and (Y/N) clenches then comes around Spencer’s dick. She cries out his name and sees stars. Her entire body goes limp as she hits her high.
Her climax hit her so hard that she loses touch with reality. She doesn’t feel Spencer come into the condom, pull out of her, or notice when he goes into the bathroom.
When she comes to, she’s still panting and Spencer is walking back into the bedroom. “Welcome back,” he says when he sees that she has come back to reality. “Thought I might’ve killed you for a second there.”
“Imagine that on my tombstone,” she replies. “Death by Spencer Reid’s dick.”
Spencer wipes away the layer of sweat that has covered her body and says, “It at least has to say ‘Dr. Spencer Reid.”
She lets out a breathy laugh and looks over at Spencer as he falls onto the bed beside her, the cloth discarded somewhere on the floor. They’ve both found their way under the blankets. She rolls over to she’s facing her boyfriend.
(Y/N) is quick to notice the little box in his hand. She raises her eyebrows at him. “I know we said that we were going to give gifts after Christmas but I didn’t want to wait any longer before I gave you this,” he tells her.
“What did you get me?”
She takes the box that’s being offered to her. She pulls it open and gasps at its contents.
Inside the box is a little silver necklace with an ‘S’ on the chain.
“Something to wear when you miss me,” he tells her as he brushes away a strand of hair that has fallen into her face. “Or when we don’t get to see each other for a few days.”
“It’s so pretty,” she replies as she pulls it out of the box. “Help me put it on?”
He nods and (Y/N) hands him the necklace. She sits up with the covers under her arms and gathers her hair into a ponytail so it’s easier for Spencer to get it around her neck.
She looks down and smiles as soon as it’s secured. She lightly touches the ‘S’ and lets her hair drop. Spencer pushes it to the side and presses a soft kiss to her shoulder.
“Like it?” he mumbles against her skin.
“Love it.” She turns and faces him. “Thank you.”
Spencer mirrors her smile and she leans down. She presses a soft kiss to Spencer’s lips before settling back down in his arms.
As she falls asleep, she makes note of two things she wants to talk to him about in the morning.
She wants to tell him that she wants to tell Cassia about them … and that she’s in love with him.
· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·
(Y/N) isn’t sure what wakes her up the next morning. It could be the sun that’s shining in through the window. It could be the smell of bacon. She doesn’t know.
She rolls out of bed and grabs one of Spencer’s shirts as well as a pair of his boxers. Tying her hair up into a messy bun on top of her head, she leaves the bedroom and follows the smell of cooking bacon.
In the kitchen is Spencer Reid. He has on plaid pajama pants and a loose fitting t-shirt. He whistles to himself as he cooks breakfast. (Y/N) sees the plate of pancakes beside him on the counter. The keurig is also making some coffee.
“Good morning,” (Y/N) says, her voice still slurred with sleep.
Spencer turns around and smiles. “You were supposed to be in bed,” he tells her as she walks up to him. “This was supposed to be breakfast in bed.”
She gets on her tiptoes to press a soft kiss to his lips. “I smelled bacon and I needed to come investigate,” she replies. “Sorry.”
“You’re forgiven because of how good you look in my clothes right now,” he says. “Glad to know you still like bacon.”
“Duh.”
(Y/N) sits at the kitchen island and looks at her phone.
Mateo sent her a picture of himself and Cassia in a matching pajama set. A second message sits under it that says ‘ hope you’re wearing more protection than we did ‘.
She shakes her head and tucks her phone away when Spencer brings over breakfast.
“This looks really good,” (Y/N) says as she helps herself to the pancakes and bacon. Spencer sits a cup of coffee down in front of her. “You’re my hero.”
“I know that coffee is really the only way to your heart.” He kisses the top of her head before sitting beside her.
Breakfast is quiet. She enjoys Spencer’s presence as she eats the perfectly cooked bacon and fluffy pancakes that he made for them.
The entire time, she’s nervous. She’s nervous about bringing up telling Cassia and she’s definitely nervous about telling him that she loves him. Hopefully it doesn’t show how nervous she is.
Not only does Spencer make breakfast, but he does the dishes too. He goes back to humming to himself as he cleans.
Now seems like a good time to bring something up.
"So, I've been thinking about something," (Y/N) cautiously says. He turns his head and looks at her at the kitchen island. "I don't like the fact that I have been sneaking around my daughter, especially since she knows you and likes you. I wanted to what you think about maybe telling her about our relationship."
Spencer turns the water off and uses a hand towel to dry his hands. "I didn't know you wanted to tell her," he replies. "Last time we talked about it, you weren't too keen on being with me and now you want to tell Cassia about us. What's changed?"
She shrugs and looks down at the countertop. "I mean, I feel like I'm lying to her," (Y/N) tells Spencer. "Yesterday she asked me what I do after I drop her off at her father's house and I lied. I don't want to keep doing that to her, especially since I've told her how bad lying is since she could understand what lying was. I feel like a hypocrite."
He walks over to (Y/N) and she spins around in the chair so she's facing him. "I don't know," he sighs, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. "I don't want her to think of me as anything but her teacher right now. It's only been a couple of months since we started seeing each other. It's still kind of new and I'm enjoying this little bubble that we have created for ourselves. I'm not sure if I'm ready for that bubble to burst just yet."
"If you don't want to tell her then that's fine," (Y/N) assures him as she wraps her arms around his waist. "I just wanted to get your thoughts on it."
"I don't want to tell her then."
That was a little too quick. "Wow, okay," she replies as she drops her arms. "I didn't think you felt that strongly about not telling Cassie."
"It's not that I don't want to tell her," Spencer explains with a sigh. "I just don't know if I'm ready to be someone's father."
(Y/N) sits back in her seat. "You're not her father, Spencer," she tells him. "She has a father. You're her teacher right now. If anything, you'll be more of a father figure and best friend to her if we were to tell her. She isn't going to call you 'dad' if that's what your worried about."
Spencer runs his fingers through his hair and sighs. "I'm not sure if I want to just butt into someone's family, (Y/N)," he admits. "Telling your daughter would make this almost permanent and it'll be that I'm butting into your family."
Okay, ouch.
"You don't think this his permanent?" (Y/N) questions. "Do you think this is a fling or something? Is that the reason you really don't want to tell my daughter? Do you not see yourself as a permanent part of our lives? Trust me when I tell you this, Spencer Reid. Cassia adores you. All these facts that you tell her and all of the lessons that you do with her, she commits those to memory because she enjoys being around you. You've already become a permanent part of her life. Sorry to break that to you."
"That's not what I'm saying-"
"That sounds exactly like what you're saying," she interrupts. "I want this to be permanent, Spencer. It's why I want to tell Cassia. You've already become such an important part of my life and an important part of my daughter's life in different ways. She gets off the chair and sighs. "If you don't want this to be a permanent thing, just tell me. Don't drag me along because you drag my daughter along too."
When Spencer doesn't say anything, (Y/N) grabs her jacket from his office and pulls it around herself before she walks out into the cool, Christmas Eve air without telling him that she loves him.
She isn't sure that she should love him anymore.
· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·
a/n - oops. sorry. this is what happens when i turn things into a series sometimes (remember y'all wanted this)
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hsgucci94 · 8 months
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Office hours
Summary: Harry Styles is your part-time boss and full-time boyfriend, which makes office hours interesting.
Word count: +2k
Content warning: fluff and sexual content and more fluff (m receiver)
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"I need these tasks by the end of the day, you think you could do that? They are urgent.” Your boss, Mr. Styles, asked you, standing against the doorframe of your office. You momentarily looked up to see the small pile of files in his hand, right before looking down at your computer screen and nodding with compliance.
"Sure. I'll start once I'm done with this."
"Good, thank you.” He flashed you a funny smile.
He found the sight in front of him quite endearing. You were so focused on whatever it was on the other side of your computer screen that your nose scrunched and the glasses that rested on top of it looked like they would slip off anytime soon. Although you were in no hurry to put them back up again.
Harry used your lack of attention to his advantage and proceeded to look behind him and around the corridor before entering your office and closing the door behind him. He left the files on one corner of your desk and walked over to your side. His hand stretched enough to grab the armrest of your chair and pull you to him, his body flexed forward so that your faces were at the same height. He had now fully entered your field of vision and the playful smirk on his lips told you he was up to no good.
"I'm working...,” you mumbled.
He chuckled, "So? It's not like l've never stolen a kiss from you at work."
You shook your head, smiling, and indicated for him to move forward.
He definitely did not make that cheeky move for just a kiss, but he was getting just that until your working hours were done.
There was no way you were risking it.
He might be your boss and so your chances of getting fire for something like that were void, but your reputation was just as important. And no woman who hooked up with her boss gave off any good impressions in the business world.
Harry did as indicated and closed the space between you two. He pressed his mouth to yours in a sweet and slow kiss that made you all giggly. Nothing quite like the touch of his lips to forget about all the excels and transactions that still required your attention. In that precise instant you wished you could give it all of it to him. Push your work aside and give all your attention to him.
When he pulled away, he had a big smile on, one of those that showed his adorable dimples, which were enough for you to want to keep on kissing him until your lips became red and sore. But you were at work, and anyone could come in at any moment and find out about you two.
That would be a disaster.
Ever since you started dating some months back, almost a year now, you knew your relationship had to be hidden or your position at the company would be compromised. Not because relationships between colleagues were forbidden, but because you had to maintain a standing that was worthy of respect, and if people knew you were involved with your boss in any kind of way, it'd be very difficult for you to do so. Harry understood that, and so he made sure to make things easy for you at work most of the time. Today being an exception, apparently.
"Let me know when you're finished. I'll be in my office waiting to drive you home," he spoke, and kissed you on your cheek before walking out of the room.
Funny how he expected you to get back to work and concentrate as if nothing after an interruption like that.
By 9:30 p.m. you were finally done. All your tasks for the day were completed, so you grabbed your purse and the folder where you always saved important files, and made your way to Harry's office.
The entire floor was empty. You two were the only ones remaining there, which was the main reason why his door was fully open.
You were about to knock on one side just to inform him you were ready to go, but stopped mid-way.
His face had that one frown he did whenever he was on his peek of concentration. The first two buttons of his shirt were unbuttoned; the knot of his tie undone, meaning he had been a bit under pressure for the past couple of hours.
You stayed there a few seconds, quietly taking in the image in front of you, until he noticed your stare. He smiled before lifting his face to look at you. "All done?"
"All done," you nodded and walked towards the couple of chairs that were in front of his desk.
You left your purse and the files he had previously asked you for on his table. However, instead of taking a seat, you played your uno reverse card and walked behind him. When his back was to your chest you dug your fingers on his shoulders strategically to help him release the tension you knew he was feeling. He closed his eyes almost right away, finally relaxing after a long exhausting working day.
You had barely seen each other except for when he stopped by your office, not even to grab lunch or a coffee together, but you two preferred it that way to not arose suspicion.
"I've missed you.” You passed your arms around his shoulders and placed a suggestive kiss to his cheek.
"You have?" he murmured a bit distracted, finishing typing a few things on his computer. However, no matter how busy or caught up he was in his work, he could always tell your needs and intentions. He then put the screen down and turned his body around on his swivel chair so that he could face you.
You nodded, and proceeded to sit on his lap, your legs hanging on one side of his waist. You passed an arm around his shoulders, holding yourself to him, and took the chance to play with the curls on his nape.
The palms of his hands rested on your lower back and the outside of your thigh, pulling you to him, and it didn't take you long to kiss him, this time allowing your tongues to take part. The time of the day where you two reunited and shared your company had arrived, and neither of you liked to waste any second on getting as close as possible.
So you didn't.
Your fingers buried in the back of his hair, slowly pulling at it, and when a small moan escaped from his lips you realised you got the desired effect. You moved from his lips to his neck, dragging your mouth down his exposed skin, causing him goosebumps.
"Love...," Harry warned, as you felt him getting hard under you.
"Shh," you replied, kissing him on the mouth again, this time with even more desire.
Your hands soon traveled down his shirt and cautiously rubbed his crotch, causing another moan to scape from his parted lips.
You started unbuttoning his shirt from bottom to top, until he was completely shirtless in front of you, a few of his tattoos showing off for your eyes only.
He gulped, and then grabbed you by your elbow, stopping you. By the way he was looking at you, his eyes sparkling, his cheeks blushed and his mouth slightly opened, you knew he was feeling needy.
"No games, Y/N" he mumbled in a pleading tone, meaning he wanted you to keep going only if you were willing to go all the way till the end. He was in pain, and as much as he liked when you teased him, he physically couldn't get up and leave his office just like that, not after the boner you had caused him.
"I know, baby. I'll take care of it," you assured him, and started leaving kisses on his chest and all the way down to his waist, where you unbuttoned his suit pants. He slightly lifted his hips so that you were able to pull down both his pants and boxers in one go, which ended up at his feet. His pretty thighs were uncovered in front of you and, like every time you had seen them naked, you had the urge to kiss them. They looked so strong but soft at the same time...
"Love, please" Harry begged you, needing you down there as soon as possible.
"I'm going... I'm going, baby. Let me just enjoy your thighs a bit first," you replied, giggling. He silently nodded and closed his eyes to concentrate on the feeling of your lips against his skin rather than his aching erection.
You left small wet kisses all over them, your lips softly touching his skin, while he held his breath with every touch. He liked it a lot whenever you did that, it always turned him on, but his crotch needed you so bad right there and then that he was not being able to enjoy it as much.
Noticing his desperation, you soon replaced your lips with your hands and positioned yourself between his thighs, right before looking at Harry and giving him a quick glance, letting him know you were going in. He nodded, closing his eyes and tensing a bit until he felt your lips around him. You sucked on his sensitive skin while his eyes remained closed, his hands tightly grabbing the armrests to his sides, small moans coming out of his pink lips whenever he was not biting at them. If he continued to do so he would make himself bleed.
He was not very into talking or praising while doing intimate stuff, but his body language made sure to speak on his behalf. You were always able to figure out how he was feeling, if you needed to speed it up or slow it down, just by the way the muscles on his body tensed and his chest and hips raised.
The moment you felt his thighs trembling and his abdomen contracting, you knew he was ready to come. You gave a squeeze to his knee as an indicator for him to release, and soon enough your mouth was filled with his liquid.
"Fuck," he cursed, tilting his head back and fully resting it against the back of his chair. You gulped down the remains of him. An overwhelmed smile slowly made its way to his lips. "Fuck, baby. That mouth really does wonders." You couldn’t help but chuckle at his words of fascination. "Don’t laugh, it’s true. C'mere."
"Don't know if wonders is the word, but this mouth can definitely get you off."
"You wanna know what else it should do right now?" You rose both eyebrows, wanting him to continue. "Kiss me."
You shot him a giddy smile.
You quickly helped him get cleaned up and dressed again, and then he grabbed you by your waist and sat you astraddle on his lap, where he pressed your mouths together as soon as your faces were close to one another.
You stayed there, your arms around his shoulders while his where around your back once again; your face hidden in the crook of his neck as he kissed your hair every now and then, until it got pretty late and it was time for you both to go home.
You started making your way to the exit, leaving his office behind as you walked down the hallway.
"Come sleep at mine?" Harry softly asked you. His strong hand held yours, while the other grabbed his briefcase. You turned to see him. "I wanna be able to hold you all night," he continued, and graciously pulled at your arm to bring you to him so he could mischievously whisper in your ear: "Maybe even return the favour and make you come tonight."
"Mm-hm," you nodded, stupidly smiling against his neck as you accepted the invitation.
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Please, like & share if you liked it? it’ll help so much 🥺✨ thanks!! x
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cerastes · 1 month
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I was thinking about the "FUNNIEST VTUBER CLIP -> Sex" post (that OP deleted and that I hope it wasn't due to harassment) and I think a sizeable amount of people that dislike Vtubers don't actually dislike Vtubers, they dislike Vtuber fans.
Now, quick preface: I used to watch Vtubers, I don't anymore, but I don't dislike them or shit on them, I just moved onto other things, plus I don't like certain aspects of it as a culture on the corporate side. One of the biggest things I dislike, though, are the fans. I sincerely have never before wanted to not be perceived as something as much as I have with being a fan of Vtubers, not because Vtubers are cringe, but because being associated with Vtuber fans would legit lead to an ego death for me.
I obviously mean the ones that are the most infamous with that statement, if it wasn't obvious enough: The ones that seem to try and grasp at every chance to aggrandize, or, say, idolize Vtubers. You know the ones I'm talking about, the people that say "wow, normies fucking suck, they see Markiplier making weird noises and lose their shit, I don't get it" and 5 minutes later are laughing their lungs out at Amelia Watson making weird noises, the ones that'll see the Vtubers do something in a game and claims she's a Goddess Of The Game, The Best Player Alive At It, the ones that'll endlessly circulate clips of the Vtubers "using their real voice by accident" or "FUNNIEST VTUBER CLIP" (she said something sexual or burped) or "[Vtuber] is a FREAK?" (she said 'feet' or 'vore' or otherwise mentioned any other widespread milquetoast fetish), the ones that'll absolutely die on the hill of going to bat for the Vtuber or Vtuber corp they like (especially Hololive, Hololive shills are lab-grown weirdos with burnt out brains that you'd think are constantly in MK Ultra activation mode except just to defend Hololive at any cost and by any means).
This isn't every Vtuber fan, obviously, but this is what is known as the Vtuber Fan. This is what a lot of people think of when they think of "Vtuber Fans". And seriously, I find it hard to blame the talent -- in the majority of cases, because there's plenty of Vtubers that really lean on the so called "GFE", or "Girlfriend Experience", or "Really Fucking Vile Parasocial Shit", these ones can legit go explode and I support not giving them a platform -- because, see, streams are hours long endeavors for most streamers, and Vtubers definitely are expected to stream at least some good amount of hours per session. The majority of cases, these Vtubers are just making some jokes or commentary that may make reference to sex or involve more raunchy topics, which is completely normal for the average streamer, even non-Vtubers, but then Clippers (or Clip Channels), as they are known, clip only those parts, so for outsiders, Catgirl McTuber is known exclusively for making references to feet, piss, and saying the word sex a couple of times per clip, when the reality of the matter is, Catgirl McTuber only brings those up maybe twice or thrice every couple of streams. There are definitely Vtubers that leverage this, mind you, the whole "ehehehe if I say nipple and feet and imply being into this one obscure fetish, I'll get a shitload of views on my clips, which translates to new followers" so, almost as if on schedule like old Moistcritikal videos, suddenly they will unleash "uhhh yeah chat that health potion I just drank, it's so red and colorful, it looks delicious... Delicious like feet! Like a giantess' feet!" followed by a silence where chat goes "HUH?????" and they know that's going to be their clip, but again, that's not all of them, and some are really misrepresented. In a way, it's largely Clippers' fault that Vtubing in general is so often seen almost necessarily as this Thing For Perverts: Yeah, those clips get traction, from both enjoyers and detractors, and with those delicious views rolling in that aggressively, of course they'll replicate the formula more and more.
This, in turn, feeds into the usual view of the Vtuber Fan: It's easy for anyone not interested, not even hateful of the culture/craft, just uninterested, to view it as "Oh, vtubers? Those super perverts that only ultrafreaks like? Hmm yeah not really, no, I don't watch any of them".
And, again, the need, the compulsion, to aggrandize: "WOAH Pink Vtuber just dropped a new song! It's THE BEST!" maybe it's not bad, really, but it's definitely mid at best, and seeing people really push it as this breakthrough of music so aggressively because they jack it to the Vtuber's model, well, it doesn't sit well with Actual Music Fans of the genre. "WOW Dog Vtuber is FERAL!" she's literally doing much of what Markiplier-type streamers did and do, but she's got a cute anime model and is Female, so fans will go rabid, and other people will eventually find this behavior annoying out of principle.
See, these things I mentioned... Do they warrant hatred? Not really. A streamer can release a track and it can be mid and that's fine. A streamer can make noises and say "unhinged" things and that's fine. Streaming is about doing something you enjoy as much as it is entertaining a crowd, in my opinion. Going about it the way you want to go about it is always the right answer. But then you have these incredibly aggressively parasocially invested fans that make the visible, perceptible bulk of what a Vtuber Fan is, and that's when public opinion, well, it goes to shit, because it's not longer just "a streamer with an anime rig just chilling and doing their thing", it becomes "a streamer with an anime rig doing anything at all and this army of people with usernames like lolifeet9000 proudly proclaiming they are, in fact, the funniest feralest greatest internet supersensation alive, even though all she said was 'armpit' this one time in a 7 hour stream".
Mind you, there's plenty of legitimate gripes to have with Vtubing -- to name a few, the obvious clip fishing is annoying and especially the parasocial angle being intentionally leveraged sits VERY badly with me -- but these things are not universal, not all Vtubers are doing these bad things. I think Vtubers get a lot of unwarranted hate because they have the worst most annoying fans possible, and I would rather people make the distinction more often, if they hate Vtubers or Vtuber Fans (tm), because I think it's not fair to the streamers and I think you hate the Fans, actually, for very good reasons.
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avrmee · 4 months
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Insecure - Simon "Ghost" Riley x reader
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Summary: You have been hiding your body and just yourself overall from Simon the last month leaving him confused.
Warning: Sexual themes (but not smut), language, bodyshaming, angst?
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You were sitting in your apartment watching your favourite show when there was a knock at your door.
You weren't really expecting anyone since it was a Friday night. Most people were out drinking or clubbing.
You walked towards your door and opened it. You were about to close the door again when you saw it was your boyfriend, Simon, but he blocked it with his foot.
Sighing you just opened the door again and let him in. You knew this was going to happen eventually.
"What's wrong, love?" Simon asked once you closed the door. He was now standing in front of you. You felt small under his piercing gaze.
"Nothing, I don't know what you're talking about, Si" You replied with a frown. You began to walk away to sit on your couch but was stopped when Simon grabbed your waist and held you in place.
"Stop lying y/n. Why have you been avoiding me?" Simon asked with a hint of desperation in his voice. He hasn't been able to hold you or see you for that matter for the last two weeks. He was hurt to say the least. He kept thinking that he did something wrong or that you were planning to break up with him.
After a few moments of silence Simon asks again. "Do you want to break up with me?" He asked softly, he's voice cracking at the end of the sentence.
"What?! No, why would I want to do that?" You were confused on how he came to that conclusion. But you then realized why he would think that. You have been avoiding him but not for that reason.
"You've been avoided me for the last two weeks. Did I do something? Tell me what I did wrong and I'll make it up to you. Just please don't leave me" Simon was on the verge of tears now but he wouldn't tell you that. The thought of loosing you was tearing his heart into pieces.
"No Si, you didn't do anything wrong okay. I promise." You held Simon's face in your hands
"Then why have you been avoiding me y/n?" Simon asked you softly while pulling you closer to him.
There was a short moment of silence before you spoke up. You thought it was time to tell the truth. "Some of the women I work with have been body shaming me. It started a few days after you dropped off my lunch at work. They said that the don't know how you aren't disgusted everytime you see me. How you deserve someone prettier that me. Someone with a better body. They said that someone so goodlooking like you don't deserve an ugly girl like me. I'm sorry I let it get to me Si, I just couldn't help it" You looked down at the floor while tears started to stream down your face.
You knew you shouldn't have believed them but you couldn't help it. Your whole life you were bullied because of how you look and you're body. It was never enough for anyone. You were either too skinny or too fat. There was never an in between.
You felt Simon's rough hand under your chin as he lifted your head to make you look at him. He wiped away a few tears that escaped with his thumb.
"Love, everytime I see you, my heart skips a beat. You are the most beautiful person I have ever laid my eyes on. You are so, so, so beautiful. Never forget that." Simon reassured while he sat you down on the couch. He kneeled between your legs and kissed you softly.
"I love your eyes. I love your lips. I love your cheeks. I love your hair. I love your chin. I love your hands. I love you stomach. I love your thighs.-" Simon punctuated everything he loves about you with a kiss on that area.
"I love you. I love all of you, y/n. If something like that happens again tell me. I'll set them straight. Trust me love, they're just jealous of how gorgeous you are. They're jealous because you are beautiful on the inside and the outside." Simon said looking at you with love and admiration. He couldn't believe how you thought other wise. To him, you are the most beautiful thing in the universe. Argue with the wall.
Everything about you made him fall in love with you. How your eyes lit up when someone mentioned your interests. Or how soft your lips are. He loved how you laughed at the most dumbest things. Or your little dance when you finally eat something after a long day. He loved every single thing about you.
"Besides what do they mean by I'm goodlooking? They've never even seen my face. Who says I don't look like a rat?" Simon said jokingly making you laugh and slap his shoulder.
"I love you, y/n. More than anything" Simon said and captured your lips in his.
The kiss was soft and sweet. He has been waiting to kiss you for the last 2 weeks. He savored the taste of your soft lips.
You pulled away after a few seconds to catch your breath. Simon got up from the floor and layed down on the couch. He came here with sweatpants and a T-shirt on so he didn't have to worry about changing. He kicked his shoes off and held his arms open for you.
You layed down onto of him with your head on his chest. His arms were around your waist and he kissed your head every now and then. He whispered soft and sweet nothings into your ear while you drifted off to a peaceful slumber.
"My beautiful girl" Simon whispered softly before falling asleep with you safely in his strong arms.
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Divider by @benkeibear
Hellooo!!!
My requests are open💞
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kvtie444 · 4 months
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  ੈ✩‧₊ HOME 
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A/N: I luv this song smmm
Summary: after chris leaves reader for LA and blowing up, unspoken words are brought up again, 
Warnings: ANGST, drug and alcohol use, swearing, nsfw??
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Love. Everyone thinks love is so beautiful, but it's not. It's parasitic and inconvenient. I don't trust love. I don't like what it does to people. I don't like what it does to me.
Chris was back in Boston, and now that he was a big deal, every girl seemed to be throwing themselves at him. Before he left for LA, we had a thing - we literally took each other's virginities, and it meant a lot to me. He meant a lot to me. Then he blew up, moved away, and I watched it all happen from home.
He'd text me here and there, but it usually ended up being sexual. Of course, he was hooking up with new people - it was easy for him, being good looking and having a ton of followers. I watched him from a distance in the party, joint in hand, red solo cup in the other, chain visible, and some overpriced outfit on. I watched him as he was all over a girl, leaning down to her ear, her arms running up his body. It pissed me off.
"Are you good?" I'm snapped out of my thoughts by Kai, some guy I was talking to. He was nice, but boring. As bad as I feel to admit it, there was nothing interesting about him. I smile up at him, "Yeah, just need a drink." He smirks at me and grabs a bottle of Bacardi, taking a hefty swig. I look around the room, and my lips part slightly slack as I see Chris's eyes darting into me, his little fling whispering into his ear, her back facing me. I gulp and look back over at Kai.
"Pour me some straight in my mouth," I demand, smirking up at him. His eyes go wide for a second, but soon enough, he licks his lips at me as he cups my jaw. I open my mouth, sticking out my tongue slightly, and he pours around half a shot in. I grab his wrist, pouring more in. "Shit," he chuckles as we pull away. I swallow, gagging slightly. I look over and see Chris still staring at me; his eyes now seem a lot darker. I sigh and look up at Kai, whispering in his ear as I hold onto his bicep, trying to look as seductive as possible to make Chris jealous. You think he could just come back home and not say a word to me? No fucking way. "I'll be back in a sec," I say, moving my hand down his bicep. I get off my tiptoes and walk away, looking back and smiling.
I walk to a bathroom and shut the door. I walk over to the sink and sigh, looking at my reflection. I wanted to leave; seeing Chris was too much.
My attention is brought back to the door slamming open, green led light peaking through, and music becoming audible again before being muffled behind the shut door. It was Chris. I sigh and look back at the sink. "I was just leaving," I mumble before turning around, until Chris's arms cage me in between the sink.
"The fuck is your problem?" he scolds me. My brows furrow, "My problem?" I begin, but I'm quickly cut off. "I mean Kai? I'm gone for 2 months, and now you're fucking Kai?" he yells at me, leaning down closer to my face. "It wasn't just 2 months, Chris; it was the whole summer. Don't suddenly act like you care about me; you never cared. You didn't even bother checking up on me because you were preoccupied sticking your dick in other girls' mouths," I shout in his face. He scoffs, "It's not like we were together, Y/N," he replies, throwing his hands up. 
I breathe out a laugh in shock and anger. "I can't fucking believe you; you're a dick," I say, barging past his shoulder and stepping away. He's quick to grab my arm and spin me back around; my mind is telling me to slap the shit out of him and go, but my heart is telling me to stay. I can't resist those blue eyes and his pretty pink lips. "I'm sorry, baby," he mumbles. Baby? Are you kidding? "You know you'll always be my girl," he says, looking down at me, rubbing his hand up and down my arm. He leans in to kiss my neck, "You know how good I can make you feel. How good I can treat you," he mumbles against my skin, nipping at it. 
I gasp and run my hand through his hair. Despite my intentions, he always had this effect on me – I would just fold, and I hated myself for it.
"It's shitty to see Chris. You can fuck around with other people, but I can't?" I sigh against him. He looks up at me, his hair slightly messy from my hand. "You ghosted me," I continue. He sighs, "Let me make it up to you, baby," he pleads, leaning in to capture my lips. As expected, I give in and kiss him back, his lips tasting like Hennessy and weed. "My pretty girl," he mumbles against my lips as his hands move down to my ass, and mine reach up to his jaw. What am I doing? I'm just going to be another one of his fangirls. I push him back. "No," I mumble. "What's wrong, baby?" he asks.
"This, Chris, you ruined it," I reply, feeling my eyes tear up. I feel like shit. "What, so you didn't want me to move, didn't want what was best for me?" he scolds, stepping closer and leaning down at me again. "No, that's not what I-" "You deleted all those photos of us from your Instagram, acting like what we had didn't exist," he motions his hand between us.
 "You're a fucking dick, somehow playing the victim. I, for whatever fucking reason, stayed loyal to you when you were gone, didn't even kiss another boy. I'm such an idiot," I scoff, smiling at how ridiculous this situation is. "Whatever, Y/N," he mumbles, breathing out a laugh. I sniffle, attempting to control my emotions, and push past him, leaving the bathroom.
Fuck love.
・₊✧⋆⭒˚。⋆
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