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thegayhimbo · 1 year

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Stranger Things SIX Review

Warning: The following review contains MAJOR SPOILERS from Stranger Things Six, as well as Stranger Things Season 4.

Out of all the tie-in comics, this is the one that caught my attention just by the cover and premise. When it comes to Stranger Things, I’ve always been invested in its mythology (i.e. the Upside Down, the monsters, the secret lab, the kids with special abilities, etc). So a comic like this, which centers around Hawkins Lab and Dr. Brenner (who’s one of my favorite villains from the show) was something I was looking forward to.

And the results have been..............mixed.

The story focuses on a girl named Francine/Six who came from an abusive home where she was exploited by her parents for her gift of seeing into the future. One day, she meets a boy named Ricky (AKA Number 3) whom she ends up developing a friendship with. After finding out about Francine's situation and how her dad beats her, Ricky introduces her to Dr. Brenner, who encourages both Ricky and Francine to come to Hawkins Lab under the guise that their gifts could help countless people if they were given an environment to develop their powers. However, during their time at the Lab, they realize Brenner and the people working under him don’t have their best interests in mind, and are attempting to weaponize them and the other kids. Meanwhile, Six/Francine begins having visions of a monster (AKA the Demogorgon) from the Upside Down. While she doesn’t understand what the monster is, she fears it’s part of a dark future for her, which only motivates her desire to break out of the lab before it’s too late.

Observations:

As far as comics go, it’s adequate. The artwork is decent, and the plot moves at a brisk pace. It should be a fast read for most people.

The characters aren’t as fleshed-out as they could be, but it’s still cool to see other psychokinetic kids get expanded upon besides El, Kali, and Henry/One/Vecna. Ricky/Three is the boyfriend of Francine/Six and has the ability to emotionally manipulate others into doing what he wants them to do. Jamie/Nine is gifted in pyrokinesis/heat generation. Jamie also has a twin sister named Marcy, who isn’t gifted but was brought to the lab since she and Jamie are orphans and as another way for Brenner to keep control over Jamie.

Francine/Six’s visions about the Demogorgon turn out to be a red herring. She never physically encounters the monster, nor does she ever discover the mystery behind it or the Upside Down. It’s mostly there to serve as a call-back to the show, and as one more motivator for Six to escape the lab.

There’s an implication that Six’s powers, as well as the powers of other psychokinetic kids, may be connected to the Upside Down. This is something that’s also explored in the novel Stranger Things Suspicious Minds where Alice Johnson (one of Terry Ives’s friends) was being experimented on at Hawkins Lab and began having similar visions of the Upside Down and the Demogorgon. I’ve had a theory for a while that the Upside Down is somehow linked to the powers that individuals like El, Kali, and Henry/One/Vecna harness. I especially think it could be true in Henry’s case when he moved into the Creel House with his family and began developing his abilities. I don’t know if there was some sort of crack between the Creel House and the Upside Down (not big enough that anything like a Demogorgon could get through, but small enough that a malicious presence on the other side could have influence a young Henry) but I believe something happened that activated Henry when he was near the clock, which allowed him to start using his powers.

I also find it convenient how El later banished Henry/One/Vecna to the Upside Down of all places once she tapped into her full strength.

I don’t know whether or not the Upside Down is directly responsible for these kids having gifts, but I believe there's a link between them. I wonder if season 5 will expand on this, or if it’s just a theory that won’t come to fruition.

The comic itself takes place in 1978, about a year before Vecna’s massacre. It's mentioned in an interview by the Duffer Brothers that when they first began writing the show, they already had the idea that all of the kids with special abilities (with the exceptions of El and Kali) were dead prior to the start of season 1:

MATT DUFFER: We always knew that the other kids with the exception of Eight were dead. We always wanted to explore that and exactly what happened. It became a challenge because we knew we wanted to tell that story but it’s basically an origin flashback story. How do you keep that feeling relevant to what’s happening in the season, so when you cut to it, you feel like there’s some sort of forward progression and a connection? We knew it was going to connect ultimately to One.

There was also this tidbit regarding the comics and Henry/One/Vecna:

ROSS DUFFER: It’s funny, because there are various comic books and side merchandise and whenever they come to us with those ideas, we would say, you can take any number but you cannot take One. One is ours. So, that’s been ongoing for the seven years we’ve been working on it, that just don’t do anything with One. We’ve been protecting that [revelation]. It is a relief to finally get him out into the world.

Based on this, I assume the Duffer Brothers told Jody Houser and Dark Horse Comics that if they were going to do a story focusing on the psychokinetic kids at the lab, it had to be set before 1979.

This remark from Jamie/Nine caught my attention when I was reading:

The implication I took from her "babies" comment is there were different generations of gifted people at the lab........which makes sense. It's been mentioned Brenner founded the MK Ultra program in 1953. Henry Creel would later fall into Dr. Brenner's care in 1959, Terry Ives and her friends wouldn't be experimented on until 1969, and El wouldn't be born until a year or two later. I'm assuming there were separate age groups in the 25+ years since MK Ultra was started, and that the "babies" Jamie/Nine was referring to were a group of special kids younger than them.

On top of that, the comic presents the idea that not all of the kids at the lab were kidnapped the same way El and Kali were. Ricky was initially a willing participant in the program, Francine was persuaded by Dr. Brenner to join them, and both Jamie and Marcy were taken in after a fire destroyed their home and killed their parents.

Brenner also claims that the United States isn’t the only country developing programs like the one at Hawkins Lab:

I'm assuming Brenner was thinking about the Russians when he said this, and (incorrectly) believed they also had kids with dangerous powers who were being weaponized against the U.S. It adds another layer to his motivations for pushing the kids at Hawkins Lab beyond their limits.

There is a major continuity error that bugs me: At the end of the comic, Francine, Ricky, and Marcy attempt to escape the lab. The reason they're able to is because Terry Ives (El's mom) breaks into the lab on the same day to rescue El:

The problem is that people who’ve worked on the show, such as makeup artist Amy L. Forsythe, have confirmed that Terry's failed attempt to rescue El took place in 1974. This is also supported by the twin actresses who played El in the season 2 flashback being about 3-4 years old when they filmed that scene (which canonically lines up with how old El should have been during that year). I can't tell if this was a screw up from the comic book writers, or if it's a retcon that came from the show. Regardless, it’s still a glaring plot-hole.

There’s also the fact that in season 4, all the kids (with the exception of Kali/Eight) are accounted for. Numbers 3, 6, and 9 are different from the ones presented in the comic. This is Six from Season 4:

And these are what the other test subjects on the show look like:

So unless Brenner somehow replaced Ricky, Francine, and Jamie with other kids who would take the positions of Numbers 3, 6, and 9 within a year before Vecna’s massacre of the lab, the implication is the events in this comic (as well as its sequel Into the Fire) never happened.

And this brings me to my biggest problem with Stranger Things SIX: Because it’s likely not canon given the direction the show went in season 4 (as well as the continuity errors present in the comic itself), it makes it hard to get invested in the story. Characters like Ricky, Jamie, Marcy, and Francine aren’t going to play any important roles in the show, and it’s doubtful they’ll appear in season 5. It’s possible to view this story as some sort of existing legend surrounding the lab if you’re looking for a way to tie this comic into the overall franchise (similar to the folklore stories present in the novel Hawkins Horrors) but that’s about it.

I do think it’s important to view this comic more through the lens of what it tells us about the ideas the writers had surrounding Hawkins Lab, Dr. Brenner’s treatment of the kids at the lab (which is just as abusive in the comics as it is on the show), and whatever connection supposedly exists between the psychokinetic kids and the Upside Down. On top of that, the Duffer Brothers have stated they plan to give more insight into the MK Ultra program under Brenner in season 5:

DEADLINE: Did Dr. Martin Brenner not know that this kid killed his family and framed his father, or did this kid’s sociopathic potential offer Brenner an opportunity to really mold a weapon without a conscience?

MATT DUFFER: The second, really. He knew what this kid did and also what he was capable of when he was young. Brenner’s going, how can I mold this character, but not just into a weapon? That’s really how he sold it to the government, but for him as a scientist, it’s like, what other worlds can this kid show me about how our universe works? So, he’s really just that scientist who’s not really thinking about the consequences. He just keeps pushing, pushing, pushing, and he’s using the government’s money by saying hey we can fight the Soviets with this kid. It’s something we will get into in Season 5. What happened to that program once Henry became involved and how Brenner evolved it into including multiple kids. We’re going to go back and see some of that in Season 5.

I am definitely looking forward to that.

Overall, I’m glad I read this comic (though I wish I’d gotten it for a cheaper price), but it’s not my favorite.

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pxgblog · 11 months

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5 Tips for Flying with Your Favorite Set of Golf Clubs

Traveling with your golf club sets always feels a little daunting. Whether you’re just flying to visit family for the weekend and want to play a couple rounds with Dad or you’re traveling to Scotland for a tour of centuries-old courses, you want your clubs to arrive in perfect condition. There are plenty of ways you can make sure this happens. Here are five tips to help make flying with your clubs simple.

Use a High-Quality Travel Bag

As perhaps the most important part of traveling with your custom golf clubs, your bag is the first line of defense between your clubs and the rigors of airline travel. You need a bag that’s lightweight, easy to carry, and capable of protecting your clubs all at the same time.

You’ve got two options: hard cases and soft cases.

If you choose a soft case, make sure it’s made from tough material like ballistic nylon fabric and uses straps to keep your clubs nice and snug. If you go for a hard case, it should still be easy to carry with plenty of room to fit all your favorite clubs.

Attach a Tag with Your Contact Information

We’ve all heard horror stories of airlines losing baggage. Whether it’s happened to you or someone you know, you want to make sure lost luggage doesn’t happen when you’re flying with your favorite set of clubs.

Attach a contact information tag to your travel case. For extra peace of mind, you can attach a second one to your golf bag itself. Write down your name, phone number, and address on the card. That way, airline workers will know who to call if your clubs end up misdirected during a layover.

Pack an Extra Sweatshirt or Towel with Your Clubs

Why would you pack an extra sweatshirt or towel with your clubs when you have a suitcase? Good question.

No matter how good your travel bag is, you can guarantee your clubs will experience some jostling in transit. Your clubs are going to shift and move. Fortunately, you can take steps to stop them from rattling around and hitting each other inside the bag.

If you have extra sweaters, towels, blankets, or other soft items, wrap them around your clubs. Stuff them in the gaps (only clothes you aren’t worried about wrinkling). It’s the equivalent of bubble wrap to make sure no damage occurs during the flight. It’s a super easy way to keep your clubs safe so they reach their destination in pristine condition.

Use a Packing Checklist to Remember Everything

The only thing worse than reaching your destination and realizing you forgot your toothbrush is unpacking your clubs and realizing you forgot your tees.

When you fly to your destination planning to golf, you want to pack everything you need. Write down a list of all the gear you use anytime you hit the links. Your golf shoes, glove, tees, balls, and a towel are must-haves. For longer trips, you’ll probably want to add your adjustment tool, groove cleaner, and maybe even replacement spikes for your golf shoes.

Double-check your list before leaving for the airport, and enjoy some peace of mind when you arrive.

Remove the Clubheads if You Can

Finally, if your clubheads are removable—most commonly drivers, hybrids, and woods—take them off and store them safely in another component of your bag. The connection between the shaft and clubhead is the spot most prone to breaking. By removing the clubheads, you’re keeping the entire club safer during the bag-handling process.

When you arrive at your destination, your clubs will be safe and ready for your first tee time.

About PXG

The right golf clubs can take your game to a whole new level. They help you play to your strengths and give you the best experience possible, from the tee box to the green. PXG makes high-quality clubs with the most advanced technology, custom fitted to each player, so every time you step up to the ball, you can swing with confidence. Whether you need hybrid golf clubs with extra forgiveness to cut down on slices or players irons with ultimate workability to put the ball right where you want it, PXG has you covered. Their clubs offer unmatched distance, feel, and durability. Plus, with custom fittings at the best golf store Houston, Chicago, and cities across the country have to offer, you get one-of-a-kind clubs perfect for you. You’ll be shaving strokes off your handicap in no time.

Find the best clubs for your next trip, plus great bags and traveling cases, at https://www.pxg.com/

Original Source: https://bit.ly/43vbTSq

#golf used clubs

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wutheringmights · 3 years

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I just read the newest chapter and I loved it! ♥ ♥ ♥ I was wondering if you had some hcs about the engineer that you could share?

Awww I'm glad you like it! I just spent 5 minutes trying to figure out what "HCS" meant before realizing I'm a tired idiot who can't read lol

But yeah! I got some headcanons for the engineer/Spirits I can share!

These headcanons are a mix of things I generally believe for any iteration of the Hero of Spirits and a few things exclusive to CTB. It's pretty obvious which are which.

Technically this is slight spoilers since most of this is not mentioned in-story, but Warriors is a such a self-centered asshole that I'm not sure when I can get him to explicitly ask about Spirit's backstory lol

This got super long and kind of just became me talking about Spirits's entire backstory, so enjoy:

Spirits is sixteen during the course of Spirit Tracks, mostly because that was the vibe I got from him when I first played the game (I made him younger for CTB)

He's not descendant from Wind (who I maintain disappeared instead of settling in New Hyrule); instead, he's Aryll's great grandson

His family name used to be Outset, but when everyone who originally immigrated from Outset island took on that last name, they changed it to Aryll to reflect the family matriarch

So Spirit's full name is Link Aryll, though there is a branch of his family that uses Macaryll instead

The Aryll/Macaryll family is huge; everyone has at least six aunts and uncles on all sides of the family and they can trace back how they are related to Aryll

"I'm Grandma Aryl's third son's second daughter's fifth child." -someone Spirits is related to, probably

He actually never met his great grandmother; she died before he was born.

Spirit's dad was full-blooded Lokomo while his mother was Hylian; his mother passed a few months after he was born after never truly recovering from childbirth while his father died in a fishing accident when he was eight

He went to live with an aunt and uncle who owned a general store; their relationship was polite at best. The aunt and uncle told Spirits upfront that they intended to give the store over to his cousin when he was older so Spirits needed to come up with his own life plan

Spirits didn't necessarily mind since he never wanted to work in a store for the rest of his life, but the ultimatum made it clear that they didn't care for him like a son

To this day, their relationship isn't strained and he doesn't hate them. But whenever they meet, he's overly polite; they're more acquaintances than family

He's cool with his cousin though. They have different interests so they aren't best friends, but they're okay.

Spirits also always had his spirit-sensing abilities. It's really like a sixth sense to him, as normal and automatic as seeing and hearing; he actually didn't realize this wasn't normal until he was a little older

His abilities at this point are limited to sensing vague ideas of a person's spirit (if they're light or dark, etc.), and seeing ghosts (which are really rare. You have to have a lot of power yourself to become one)

(Note: I'm not the only one who headcanons Spirits as having spirit sensing abilities; if you know who can up with the idea, please let me know so that I can tag/credit them!)

The elder of his village told him that select Lokomo had minor spirit sensing abilities, and those who did were traditionally made elders of their villages; being more of a follower than a leader, Spirits adamantly dismissed that idea and refused to be trained on how to hone his spirit senses. He also never learned any of the religion behind it

Which was a little worrisome since his abilities are way stronger than most

Besides, he's always liked trains and it's been his dream to travel around the kingdom as an engineer; being some town's elder would get in the way of that

Anyway, Spirits had to pass a written exam before being accepted as an apprentice engineer, so he's very studious and has a lot of drive (pun unintended?)

He went to live with his Uncle Niko during his apprenticeship in another town; Niko isn't related to him, but he's been a friend of the family for so long that everyone secretly thinks he's actually related to someone and they just forgot who

Niko is his real family, hands down. Those two are as thick as thieves and bring out the wild side in each other

A preteen Spirits used to think Niko was a little lame and kind of embarrassing, but now that he's older, he's all for Niko's weird old man-ness and has even picked up on some of his weird old man-ness himself

That being said, they're both disasters. Neither can clean or cook or do any kind of housekeeping and their shared house is cluttered with Niko's art projects and Spirit's half-finished tinkering

Growing up, Spirits had no idea he was related to the legendary Hero of Wind; Aryll died before he was born, but even in life she was filled with too much grief over her missing brother to discuss it often. Within the family, being related to the Hero of Wind is a rumor at best.

Of course, Niko knows but keeps it a secret from Spirits; once he got back from his LU-adventure, Wind told Niko about the curse of the Hero's Spirit. Then he went missing post-New Hyrule's founding, which really drove the terror of the curse home. Niko thought he could keep Wind's family from falling victim to it by not inadvertently encouraging them to follow in Wind's footsteps

So Niko kept it a secret

And obviously, that didn't work

Spirits' quest to save New Hyrule resulted in him realizing that he needed to embrace his Lokomo heritage and get a handle on his spirit powers; Anjean gave him a little training during his quest but afterwards he traveled around the kingdom to find as many people as he could with abilities like his

They were all really excited to teach him what they knew, especially the religious aspects of the abilities; Spirits is still not the most religious person, but he at least understands and embraces the cultural significance of what he is able to do

This is where he learned how to read a person's Spirit to get an idea of their life experiences and the kind of person they're like; he can also detect where a person is without having to put much effort into it

At Zelda's encouragement, he also got more sword training from the Castle Guard. She offered him a place among them, but he turned it down in favor of remaining an engineer. He still helps around as a swordsman when he can and will act as Zelda's body guard

Speaking of which, he and Zelda are 100% in love. Their relationship started out as puppy love but over the years as matured into a deep connection built on mutual respect

When he's working on designing new engines or parts for his trains, he occasionally brings his drafting materials to the castle gardens so that he can work alongside Zelda; sometimes she falls asleep leaning against his arm and he has to be careful not to shake her awake as he works

Whenever she need to go anywhere in the kingdom, she rides in his train and teasingly criticizes his conducting; he takes a lot of pride in his conducting, but he lets her get away with it since her critiques are objectively hilarious

He keeps a tiny pictograph of her taped to his dashboard

But there's a bit of a problem with their relationship, and it's that he doesn't know if he wants to be the prince consort or not. He does love her, but that would mean giving up being an engineer in favor of being stuck at the castle all of the time

Plus, he's doing great as an engineer; he's saving up to open his own garage that produces his own train designs

Eventually, he leaves for the War of Eras

His experiences with Warriors leaves him more sure than ever that he doesn't want to be the prince consort, resulting in him ending his relationship with Zelda shortly after he returns home

It hurts for a long time to be around her since all of his old feelings keep coming back, so he keeps his distance for a long time; it takes a few years for him to go back to hanging out with Zelda as friends

But now she's approaching marriage age, and he spends a lot of time when he's on body guard duty super jealous of these princes and ambassadors from foreign kingdoms who try to court her

But again, he knows he can't be in a relationship with her so he respectfully and silently pines over her (I'm just a sucker for pining, okay?)

Okay, more random headcanons that are a little less sad

Spirits likes super spicy food, but since he can't cook to save his own life, he just eats whatever he can get his hands on

He's super dirty all of the time, just the epitome of scrappy; there's always a smear of oil somewhere on his person

He actually really hates bathing and only keeps his curly hair in check to comply with train safety regulations

He's really polite and a little shy, but once he loosens up, he gets talkative and personable

He's also very contemplative; he likes conducting so much because he gets to spend long stretches of time alone with nothing but his thoughts

His trauma/stress response is to shut down; he goes quiet, loses energy, and sleeps for longer periods of time

He tends to gravitate towards socializing with people who are older than him, which gets him labeled as being no fun by his peers (despite having someone as cooky as Niko for a uncle)

Post-adventure, his best friend is Linebeck III. They're drinking buddies. Neither can really explain why they even like hanging out as much as they do

(I just like the idea of Linebeck accidentally getting attached to one kid and his whole bloodline getting forever tangled with Wind's; they're bros for multiple lifetimes)

Not only is Spirits good at designing and building new machinery, but he's great at tinkering; he can fix almost anything and will buy broken things on purpose just to have something to fix

No one really knows he's a hero; he doesn't like the attention and, at his request, Zelda did her best to keep his involvement with Malladus a secret

Because not many common people know about his adventure and records of New Hyrule are very rare, he's considered in Warrior's time to be a forgotten hero; some scholars believe that a Hero of Spirits may have once existed, but if he did, no one really knows who he was or what he did to serve the bloodline of Hylia

#god this got long but i hope you like reading them anon!#I just have a lot of thoughts about spirits #so many thoughts #linkeduniverse #linked universe #lu #lu headcanon #lu spirits #loz st #legend of zelda #spirit tracks link #zelink #ask #anonymous #me rambling #lu ctb #loz

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benevolentbirdgal · 3 years

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A “brief” reference guide to modern Jewish denominations / Jewish Writing Advice / Jewish Identity / Jewish Reference Guide [graphic at bottom]

Writing a Jew or Jewish family? Aware that Judaism is not a monolith and want to honor that? Great! Need help with that? 100% cool - I’m here as your friendly (virtual) neighborhood Jewish professional to help. Just want to know more about Jewish denominations in comparison to one another? Also great! Fair warning - this is a long one. At least I included a graphic at the bottom?

Quick notes to acknowledge: As always, this is an American and Americanish perspective (and denominations as discussed here are MOSTLY relevant in the U.S. anyways). Additionally, the modern denominations as we think of them today really sprung from Ashkenazi communities in the 19th and 20th centuries. Most extant U.S. synagogues, day schools, and groups follow Ashkenazi customs and align with a denomination born of Ashkenazi tradition (aligning with the approximately 90% of Jewish-Americans who are Ashkenazi or Ashkenazi plus another community). Sephardi, Mizrachi, and other Jewish communities have their own traditions and jurisprudence. Most organized non-Ashkenazi communities in the U.S. identify as nondenominational but most closely compare in practice to orthodoxy, and many non-Ashkenazi Jews (especially outside of major population centers that may have other specific subgroup’s synagogues) are members of and very involved in Ashkenazi-originating movements, institutions, and synagogues.

For the purpose’s of today’s discussion, we’ll start in the 19th century, because Karaites vs Pharisees vs Sadducees is a (his)story for another time. This also isn’t a history of how these denominations came to be-with the exception of some ultraorthodox groups, which may have sprung from the shtel a little earlier, all the below movements popped out of the nineteenth and twentieth centuries. I’m also going to list approximate percentage of the American Jewish population, and I’m going to (kinda) go in order from most to least strict/traditionally observant.

Ultraorthodox (aka Haredi): The strictest, more traditional and expansive observance of the Torah, Talmud, and minhagim (customs). About 1% of American Jews are ultraorthodox. Ultraorthodox is not a unified movement.

1a. Haredi, Satmar, and most other groups generally isolate themselves from the wider Jewish world and secular world.

1b. Chabad is also ultraorthodox, but specially seeks to interact with less observant Jews. I wouldn’t call it proselytizing, because they don’t seek to make gentiles Jewish, but they do try and find less observant Jews and bring them closer to Judaism, also establishes small synagogues around the country and world in isolated place.

1c. Ultraorthodox are the most visibly Jewish attired group, wearing Kippahs for all men and boys and tichels (headscarves) and/or wigs for married women. Very modest attire for all. In Ashkenazi Ultraorthodox communities, men also tend to only wear black and white, hats in addition to their kippah (for grown and married men), and wearing tzitzit (a garmet with four corners with strings attached worn under a shirt with the threads sticking out).

1d. Most likely to speak Yiddish or Hebrew as first language.

1e. No gender equality, very strict kosher, and intense community adherence to particular brand of Judaism.

1f. Communities generally led by a Rabbi and a Rebbetzin (Rabbi’s wife) as pair (rabbis are generally expected to be married).

1g. No female Rabbis, same-sex marriage, or intermarriage. Lots of children. Pretty much all boys have Bar Mitzahs, rarely do girls have Bat Mitzvahs.

1h. Services entirely in Hebrew (except maybe the sermon).

1i. Only count matrilineal Jews and converts-Jewish father and gentile mother doesn’t count for them.

1j. Very strict observance of prohibitions and commandments pertaining to Shabbat and holidays.

Modern orthodox: Orthodox, but with some adaptations to modern life. Roughly 9% of American Jews. Also some division within modern orthodoxy (with some congregations being more liberal than others, particularly in regards to women and LGBTQ+ folks), but there are a couple of major organizations that most modox rabbis and congregations affiliate with one another through larger denomination movements (i.e. the Orthodox Union and the Rabbinical Council of America).

2a. Modern orthodox Jews regularly interact with other Jews who are more liberal. They tend to live in more Jewish communities but no issues with interacting with outside world.

2b. Modest clothing and men wear kippot everywhere (when safe). Married women also usually cover their hair (with wigs or tichels). Men also typically wear tzitzit.

2b. Gender roles, but progress being made. Handful of female rabbis emerging in 2010s/2020s. Whether women count in a minyan depends on the specific congregation and many modern orthodox shuls will have separate women’s prayer groups. The prevalence of Bat Mitzvahs also varies wildly congregation to congregation.

2c. Like ultraorthodox, communities are typically led by a Rabbi and his wife the Rebbetzin. Some acceptance of homosexual individuals as members of the community, but no same-sex marriage (some alternate ceremonies emerging). Like one out gay male rabbi. No intermarriage.

2d. Very strict adherence to kosher, would likely not eat at someone less kosher’s home.

2e. Usually have on the higher end of a “normal” amount of children. Services entirely in Hebrew (except sermon).

2f. Only count matrilineal Jews and converts-Jewish father and gentile mother doesn’t count for them.

Less traditionally observant than this is often known as “liberal Judaism” - around 90% of American Jews.

2g. Very strict observance of prohibitions and commandments pertaining to Shabbat and holidays.

Conservative: Brands itself as middle of the road Jewish movement. about 18% of the American Jewish population. No connection to conservative politics, most Conservative with a C Jews are liberal or moderate politically. Often called “Masorti” outside the U.S and hypothetically a unified movement under several connected organizations (i.e. the Masorti Olami and the Jewish Theological Seminary).

3a. Gender equality. Female rabbis and LGBTQ rabbis definitely an acceptable thing, but not as common as with Reform or Reconstructionist.

3b. Formally sanctioned ceremony for same-sex couples to wed under Jewish law since 2012 and affirmation ceremonies since 2006.

3c. Modesty in synagogues but comparable to regular American attire otherwise.

3d. Generally comparable family size to other American families.

3e. Kosher, but not as strict as orthodoxy. Many Conservative Jews have kosher homes but are willing to be more lax when eating out. Synagogues are always kosher.

3f. Services mostly in Hebrew, sermons and some prayers definitely in local language.

3g. Intermarriage is frowned upon, but many otherwise Conservative Jews will be married by a less traditional rabbi or justice of the peace to non-Jewish partners. Although Conservative rabbis do not perform interfaith marriages, many interfaith couples are in Conservative synagogues. In the 90s/2000s it was way less friendly to interfaith couples/families (laughs in having a goyish dad) but that has improved in the past 3-5 years substantially.

3h. Observance of prohibitions and commandments pertaining to Shabbat and holidays is regulated but less strict than orthodoxy. Varies a bit by community. A good example to illustrate this is getting to synagogue on Shabbat:

By the book (not necessarily reflected by attendees): Orthodoxy says you have to walk there (no driving), Reform says it’s no issue to drive on Shabbat, and Conservative says you can drive but only to get to shul and back.

3i. As with orthodoxy, only matrilineal Jews count. Most interfaith families with non-Jewish moms (or moms who converted post-birth of the kid), particularly those who want to participate in Conservative communities will convert the child as a baby so they can have a normal Jewish upbringing (beyond an extra blessing/prayer in the Bnai Mitzvah process and social awkwardness that oft accompanies interfaith families in Jewish spaces).

3j. Most dress comparably to others in geographic area (synagogue notwithstanding, see my other post). Men on the higher end of observant might also wear kippahs all the time as well. Outside of explicitly Jewish contexts, similar lifestyles to surrounding populations. Around the same number of children as in gentile families.

Reform: Not at all traditionally observant. About 35% of American Jews. More or less a cohesive movement linked by organizations (i.e. Women of Reform Judaism and the Union for Reform Judaism).

4a. Reform Judaism is the largest group. It generally views Judaism through the lens of social justice, repairing the world, and cultural heritage as opposed to religious mandate.

4b. Very big on personal choice in what one observes, I like to call it “choose your own adventure” Judaism.

4c. Keeping kosher is uncommon. Some shuls aren’t even kosher.

4d. Reform services use the least Hebrew, although this is changing in some places.

4e. Reform’s standard of Jewishness is 1+ Jewish parent(s) and raised doing Jewish things, regardless of which parent is Jewish.

4f. Very feminist/egalitarian and welcoming to LGBTQ+ folks. Highest number of not-straight rabbis and female rabbis.

4g. Intermarriage very common and can be performed by Reform rabbis.

4h. Reform Judaism was way ahead of the curve in terms of LGBTQ+ rights and religion. The movement has had members advocating for homosexual rights (protection in housing, employment, civil marriage, and other nondiscrimination protections) since 1965 (finally passing formal resolutions in 1977), began proactively including/welcoming out gay rabbis in 1990, created same-gender marriage Jewish ceremonies in 1996/7, and has made resolutions explicitly including bi and trans people as well since 2004 (stuff earlier than that generally specified “gay and lesbian”). An additional resolution was passed in 2015 regarding trans and nonbinary inclusion, alongside guides to help congregations do so.

4i. See #3j - also applies here.

Orthodox, Conservative, and Reform, are the biggest and “standard” movements people will most typically list and identify with, most likely to appear in surveys and studies, are older than everything listed below. Modern Orthodox, Conservative, and Reform all started in the 19th century and some Ultraorthodox groups trace back further than that. I’ve outlined some practical differences, but the basic theoretical difference is that Orthodox considers traditional Jewish law (Halacha) binding and you can’t change it, Conservative believes it it’s binding but the community can change it, and Reform believes that it’s nonbinding.

Some smaller movements:

Reconstructionist - Newest even remotely well-known and organized movement, founded in the 1920s as an offshoot of the Conservative movement. I would describe it as “build your own adventure but Halacha matters (or at least some of it).” The first thing almost every recon Jew I’ve ever met has told me when describing reconstructionism is that they invented the bat mitzvah in 1922, which basically translates to “tradition matters but also egalitarianism.”

Maybe 2%-5% of American Jews today self-ID as Reconstructionist, but I would argue that a lot of nondenominal practitioners have philosophies fairly aligned with the recon ethos.

Jewish Renewal: very small and relatively disorganized movement started in the 1960s. Attempts to bring Jewish tradition and modern sensibilities, hippie Jews who care about Halacha. Big on mysticism and music, doing Jewish enthusiastically, and a tendency towards more traditional observance in conjunction with progressive politics. Kind of the laid-back cousin of reconstructionism, although neither sprung from the other.

(Cultural) Humanistic Judaism: “Non-theistic” Judaism for atheist Jews who still want a connection to their history, culture, and celebrations.

Nondenominational - Nondenominational and post-denominational Jews are the fast growing group. Variety of liberal/non-traditionally observant beliefs and practices, but most will still contextualize themselves around the denominational scale.

#writeblr #jewish writing advice #jewish writing help #writing jewish characters #writing jewish spaces #jumblr #jewblr #writing advice #ref #reference #jewish ref #jewish reference #jewish denominations #judiasm #another long one still not sorry #info dump

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itsmeevie01 · 4 years

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Bio!Dad Bruce Day 9- Last Name (Wayne)

ok, so, if youve paid attention, the you know that i can’t write dialouge for the life of me lol.so today…i bring you dialouge in the form of texting :)

Marinette didn’t make a big deal about who her father was. Of course, when she had just met the man, she had relied on her friends to help her navigate the tricky situation. Since then, the teen had gotten good at only saying what she needed to. Chloe knew. Nino knew. Kim ands Alix knew. Max knew. They all knew and didn’t bring it up. They knew that she had processed it and moved on. To her, Bruce Wayne was just her father. She didn’t talk about the money, or all the work her father did. Marinette made a point to just be herself, and not worry about what names were attached.

At school, of course, she was Marinette Dupain-Cheng. On her ID? On her ID, she was Marinette Cheng-Wayne. Only those who needed to know knew. That how Marinette liked to keep it, at least, if she could help it.

When Marinette was 14, a new girl joined her class. The girl was sweet, if a little delicate. She said she had a lot of different injuries and conditions, but who was Marinette to judge? When the girl started to cling to one of the boys, Adrien, Marinette got a little worried. It wasn’t the end of the world, if he had offered to help, but he looked uncomfortable. When she mentioned this to Chloe, the girl had snarled. “That leech has been worming her way into his head. If you could hear what Gabriel was telling him to do- “her friend shook her head. “If I step in, want to help?” Marinette felt a smile crawl its way onto her face.

“gladly.”

Over the next few weeks, the girls watched what their new classmate, Lila, did. By that point, Nino had brought up his own concerns at fit far too well with theirs. Finally, Chloe decided it was time to take action. The blond stormed into the class and settled into her seat with a scowl. When Sabrina hurried over to join her, Chloe shook her head. Marinette took pity on the redhead and tugged the girl to the back of the class with her, whispering a quiet “watch”. When Nino and Adrien came in, Nino made his to the back, where he plopped down next to Kim. Alix and Max sat across the aisle, and all of them were ready for the explosion that was bound to happen. As Lila and Alya slipped in together, chatting and giggling over some story, the others exchanged glances. They had all been pretty close for years. Because of that, it was hard for others to join their group. The newest addition was Sabrina, and that was only because of her tendency to hang around Chloe. A ding on Kim’s phone drew the groups attention, making them all glance down at their own phones. In the group chat, Alix had sent a video linked to the LadyBlog.

Alix: saw this, this AM. Might be worth looking into. (video attached from the LadyBlog, Titled The Secrets of the Wayne Family)

Mari: wtf

Mari: what is she trying to do

Mari: her ass will get lawyered so fast

Max: she obviously hasn’t thought this through

Kim: is she claiming to know them????

Chlo: oml

Chlo: SLANDER

Chlo: please Mari, please tell me that she doesn’t know your family?

Mari: I mean

Mari: she might? But I think her family name would have come up when Tim and I were planning world domination if she did.

Max:!

Mari: don’t worry, its been put on the back burner. Dad has a new kid that keeps trying to stab Tim w/ a Katana lol.

Nino: Mari, aren’t you supposed to go visit soon? Maybe you should just stay here, dudette.

Chlo: ITS SHOWTIME

The friends hurriedly stowed their phones away and returned their gazes to the front of the room where Lila had approached a confused Adrien. The boy had been deposited next to Chloe in the first row, confusion evident in his green eyes. The Italian girl leaned over the desk, trying to garner as much attention as possible. “Adrien, why don’t you come sit with me? I was hoping you could help me keep up with the lesson.” The dangerous flash of her eyes was so fast that most would have missed it. Marinette narrowed her eyes in suspicion. It looked like Chloe hadn’t been exaggerating about what was going on behind the scenes. Moving before things could get out of hand, Marinette skipped down to the desk.

“I can help, Lila! Literature is one of my favorite subjects!” the anger that glowed behind Lila’s eyes was worrying, but Marinette wasn’t worried. She grabbed the other girl by her elbow and tugged her towards the seat the brunette usually occupied. “I’m sure that Alya wouldn’t mind sitting next to Sabrina!” as Marinette settled into the new seat, Lila folded herself onto the bench and pulled out her notebook, shunning her new seatmate. As Marinette got her own supplies ready, she mentally prepared herself for an hour of clod anger directed at her.

After the bell rang, Marinette slowly started to collect her things. The girl next to her was moving faster than the noirette expected. For a girl who was supposed to a wrist injury, Lila sure wasn’t trying to avoid the pain. Shaking her head, Marinette finished collecting her stuff and went to join Chloe where she was waiting at the door. As they linked arms, Marinette realized that there was a sharp voice behind her, crying. “Oh Alya, it was awful! Marinette wouldn’t answer any of my questions, and told me that if I didn’t understand it, I should keep my mouth shut!” Chloe sniggered next to her and strode away towards the lockers, pulling Marinette with her.

“Honestly, Mari? I wish you had told the brat to shut up, maybe then she would be scared of you.” Marinette rolled her eyes at her best friend.

“your only scared of me, because you’ve seen me with Tim, and know that we already are on the path to world domination.” Chloe shook her head and closed her locked with a soft thud.

“Mari, you are worse than all of your brothers, simply because you don’t use your fathers name to back you up. If you did that, then you would have the same royal brat rep I do.”

Chlo: so, is anyone going to put a stop to the liar’s yapping?

Adrien: wait what? Chloe, who are the other numbers?

Chlo: Adrien, please.

Chlo: do you really not have these numbers saved already?

Nino: yeah dude, that’s a little mean

Mari: lol yeah, I’m insulted, Adrien!

Adrien: Wait, Nino?

Adrien: who…is in this chat?

Alix: Me!

Max: Markov and myself

Kim: and me, man

Adrien: that…doesn’t help.

Chlo: oh honesty!

Chlo: you idiot, its Mari, Nino, Max, Alix, and Kim.

Chlo: you are Ridiculous

Chlo: UTTERLY RICICULOUS!

Mari: Chloe, chill. I don’t think he’s been in one of our…unique chats before.

Max: affirmative. Adrien usually spends time with Nino, Alya, and Lila if he isn’t with Chloe and Sabrina

Chlo: back to the topic at hand!

Chlo: the brat has to stop

Mari: I mean…she hasn’t done anything we can stop her with yet.

Nino: we need solid proof

Alix: are we just going to forget this AM? (video attached from the LadyBlog, Titled the Secrets of the Wayne Family)

Adrien: is someone going to tell me what’s going on?

Mari: we can’t drag them into this, Alix. it’ll make it worse, not better.

Alix: M, are you sure? we could shut her up real fast. Your fam, mine, Chloe’s?

Max: theoretically, it would be the path of least resistance.

Mari: THEY ARE A LAST RESORT

Mari: I AM NOT LETTING JASON MOCK ME FOR THIS

Mari: bc that ass totally will.

Adrien: ok, but what’s going on?

Max: Lila is trying to use you to catapult herself to fame

Kim: haha yeah, its not going to work if we have anything to say about it.

Chlo: also, very happy Mari never brought Alya into the fold

Mari: fuck no

Mari: do you see the way that girl doesn’t research anything. She latches on and never lets go.

Nino: so, you’ve said, Mari. I still think your over exaggerating on that one, lol

Mari: lmfao

Mari: Nino, she thinks I have a crush on ADRIEN of all people.

Mari: sorry, Adrien, bc you’re my friend? But she latched onto something and won’t let it go

Alix: shit I remember that. She tried to get us to set the two of you up. Those plans SUCKED.

Mari: remember how I kept sabotaging them lol? She just thought that fate was against her

Max: logically, shouldn’t that be a sign that you two aren’t meant to be?

Mari: haha I wish. After that, she tried to set me up with Chat Noir.

Chlo: WAIT

Chlo: that’s what Lady Wi-Fi was about?

Mari: yesssssssss

Adrien: um…should I be concerned about this?

Kim: I mean…no? its normal at this point.

Max: Chloe, plan #3 might work for taking down Lila? We wouldn’t need Mari’s family to join in if we do that.

Mari: if that fails, I’ll call Tim.

Mari: but ONLY if #3 fails, and we can’t make say…#5 work.

Chlo: you got yourself a deal, Marinette.

When the group entered the classroom together the next day, Chloe and Marinette were chattering excitably together. Adrien and Nino were talking about something on his phone while Max was keeping sore for whatever competition Kim and Alix had going on. When Lila approached Adrien and tugged him over to her seat, the others tracked her movement wordlessly.

When Alya came in and found them watching, she smirked at them. “those two make a cute couple, don’t they? Lila was practically glowing earlier when she was talking about the date they went on last night.” The friends exchanged telling glances but otherwise brushed the girl off as they dispersed to their seats. As she made her way to the seat she had claimed at the back at the beginning of the year, Marinette paused by Lila’s desk.

“Lila, do you need help again today? I know that the topics we’re covering are a little difficult if you’re not familiar with them.” The brunette scowled up at her.

“sorry, Marinette, but you can’t really keep up with the help I need.” The smaller girl shrugged.

“I’m sorry that you feel that way, Lila. If you ever need help, feel free to ask.” as she made her way to her seat, Marinette could hear Lila say loudly

“She’s just jealous that I have connections like the Wayne’s and Jagged stone and she’s just a little miss nobody.”

Mari: fuck it, it’s on bitch. I’m calling Jagged and Clara. These are slander charges now.

Chlo: should I expect your family’s lawyers too?

Mari: hell no. Tim is a last resort.

Mari: dad’s friend tho? THEY are defiantly going to be getting a few phone calls.

Mari: hey Jagged, Penny. I have just a tiny question.

Penny: Marinette! We were getting ready to contact you! What’s going on?

Mari: what kind of slander would be bad enough to sue over?

Penny: why?

Mari: this (voice file attached. Label reads SeNd To JaGgEd ASAP)

Jagged: little lady…where did you get this?

Mari: I recorded it during class today

Jagged: this liar is your age?

Penny: Marinette, would you mind if I send this to our lawyers?

Mari: go right ahead.

Tim: so…

Tim: would you like to explain why Jagged Stone is ranting to B in the entryway about a “little lying brat” who is in his “favorite niece’s class?”

Mari: wat

Mari: idk what you’re talking about

Tim: Little Bit, you can’t possibly think he hasn’t name dropped you yet.

Mari: WHAT.

Mari: fuck

Tim: ummmmmm

Tim: WHEN DID YOU START CUSSING?

Mari: tim. Please remember who my brothers are.

Tim: OH neverminded

Tim: why didn’t you get me involved?

Mari: theres no reason for Marinette Dupain-Cheng to know the Wayne fam

Mari: also, we wanted to use #3 and #5 first. If they didn’t work (they are) we were going to rain fire lolz.

Tim: fine. When your ready for the power that comes with the name, lmk

Tim: aslo, I insist on being included in the planning.

Mari: also*

Tim: fuck off

Tim: I wan to be ready for whatever damage control might be needed with the press

Tim: also, I live the kind of chaos that you and Chloe create together lolz

When Adrien turned to Marinette during lunch that day, there was clear confusion in his eyes. “Mari?”

“what’s up, Adrien?”

“who was that guy…Tim? That Chloe kept mentioning?”

“oh? She didn’t tell you?” the blond shook his head, looking worried. Marinette smiled ruefully and sighed.

“he’s my older brother on my father’s side.” When Adrien furrowed his brow, Marinette elaborated. “My father lives in the United States and runs a big corporation. He spends a bit of time in the limelight, but he keeps us all out of the press.”

“the…Dupain family?” Marinette laughed before smoothing over her friend’s confusion.

“no, Tom is my dad, but Bruce is my Father. He lives on the east coast, and I spend most holidays and breaks with my siblings over there.” Adrien nodded and smiled at her.

“I guess that makes sense. Its really cool at you get to spend your time with both sides of your family like that. What is your father’s last name then? I don’t think I’ve heard it.” Marinette winced.

“My father’s last name is Wayne. Anywhere except school, I use the name Marinette Cheng-Wayne.”

ok, thats a wrap. for once, this could be read by itself with almost no context. this will fit intothe overall storyline, but i had to go back and set the stage (this) for when Mari is 15. here, its the begining of the school year that she turns 15. (her b-day is in April bc i want to mess wiht cannon even more than i already do.)

#b!dbwm2020 #b!dbwm #miraculous ladybug #marinette dupen chang #chloe b is my fave #if you cant tell #My writing #maribat #mari is as smart as tim #fignt me on this #she is a queen #ml x dc

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athenagrantnash · 3 years

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Gunpowder Milkshake review

There are four elements to a film that, when all are achieved, can elevate a film from “good” to “great”; and any film that can achieve at least two of these elements is certainly a good and enjoyable film.

These elements are (in no particular order)*:

Aesthetic

Cast (charm, likeability, acting skill, etc)

Characters

Writing (story, script, dialogue etc.)

*While all four elements are important, writing is in my opinion the most important of the four.

So does Gunpowder Milkshake achieve all of these elements? Let’s discuss. (not a spoiler free review)

1) Aesthetic

I cannot say enough good things about the aesthetic of this film. The lighting, the camerawork, the set design, the costumes, it is all top notch. There is never a moment where what you are looking at isn’t visually engaging.

One of my favorite elements is how much is said about each character based on their costumes.

Karen Gillan’s Sam wears an orange jacket for the majority of the film - a jacket she stole because she didn’t like the clothing provided for her. Early in the film it’s established she doesn’t quite know what kind of assassin she is - she is as undefined as her jacket. But there’s a sportsmanship about her, as she won’t kill the three stooges when they aren’t trying to kill her, and she draws the line at ever letting a child be in danger.

Chloe Coleman’s Emily spends the entire movie in a yellow coat - representing the optimism and joy that comes with childhood innocence, an innocence that at the end is marred by the blood red handprint across the back of her coat.

The clothes worn by Angela Bassett’s Anna May, Carla Gugino’s Madeleine, and Michelle Yeoh’s Florence are all very similar, but specific to each character.

Anna May wears dark blue - signifying depth and power - and she has more layers than anybody else - Madeleine has the sweater/jacket, Florence has the vest, and Anna May has both. And just like her clothing, she has layers. You can sense the power and ferocity, and anger that lies rippling just below the surface, only just barely kept in check.

Florence wears green - signifying serenity - , and her outfit has nothing loose or soft about it. She is exactly as she appears to be - exactly as a tiger stalking its prey appears to be - quiet, contained, serene... deadly. It’s her serenity that keeps Anna May’s ferocity in check, but don’t mistake that for safety.

Madeleine wears pink - signifying kindness - and instead of Florence’s vest or Anna May’s vest/suit jacket combo, she instead wears a soft sweater. She is kind, trusting to her instincts, and protective of Emily. But her kindness is not weakness - just look at her weapon of choice if you disagree.

And while everybody else is wearing bright and/or striking colors, Sam’s orange jacket, Emily’s yellow coat, Anna May’s blue suit, Florence’s green vest, Madeleine’s pink sweater, Scarlet - completely at odds with her name - is wearing colors that are practically nondescript. She has isolated herself from the other Librarians, and that’s shown in a beautifully subtle way through her clothing. And yet, in a further note of subtlety, she is wearing soft oranges, showing her connection to Sam (also in orange) and how that connection is what brings her back from her isolation. Her clothing is loose, but not soft, reflecting a deceptive casualness, which matches her personality perfectly.

I’m not even going to touch on the visual brilliance of the lighting, set design, and camerawork because words literally will not do it justice. You just have to watch and see for yourself.

Additionally, an argument can be made that, since “action” is not its own category, that would fit into this section too - and while it’s literally impossible to top how visually engaging the lighting/set design/camerawork/etc. are, the action is certainly on par with it. The fights are all incredibly fun and creative, and they take advantage of the setting they are placed in, the road blocks or handicaps the characters have to work with, and at no point ever feel stale, repetetive, or boring.

So where does this movie rank in aesthetic? 5/5

2) Cast

There is not a weak link in this entire cast! Karen Gillan, Lena Heady, Angela Bassett, Michelle Yeoh, Carla Gugino, Paul Giamatti - every single one of these actors has proven time and again how much talent, charm, and onscreen charisma they have. Relative newcomer Chloe Coleman legitimately holds her own, even among such a star-studded cast, and is simultaneously sympathetic, charming, likable, and absolutely adorable.

Even bit players like the three stooges that Sam takes out, Emily’s dad, the doctor, and Jim McAlester play their roles to perfection.

As a side note, am I the only one who was a little bit disappointed that McAlester’s first name was Jim? It would have been hilarious if his first name was Kevin, and then we could have drawn our own conclusions about the criminal turn Kevin McCallister’s life took when he truly embraced his childhood propensity for chaos.

So where does this movie rank in cast? 5/5

3) Characters

This is where the movie starts to falter a little bit. Every single character is likable, but a lot of that can be attributed to how excellent the cast is.

Most of the characters are fairly cookie cutter, and while there is nothing about them that is particularly annoying or stereotypical, none of them have enough depth to truly be “great” characters.

The closest any character has to having any sort of depth or complexity is Nathan, who - while he doesn’t hesitate to send an entire army after Sam - sends her a private message and provides the only help he can.

Not that any of the characters are bad - I think my analysis of the lead lady’s clothing proves my opinions on that pretty conclusively - but they could have been better

Additionally, at just under 2 hours there is barely enough time to develop them properly. Florence in particular could have been much further fleshed out in ways that are not solely inferred through the costume design and acting.

The relationships between Emily and Sam, Sam and Scarlet, Scarlet and Anna May, Sam and Madeleine, Anna May and Madeleine, and Madeleine and Emily are done fairly well. I understood each dynamic and how it worked in the larger story that was unfolding. Florence had none of that - to the point that (if not for the inferred analysis based on clothing) I’m still not entirely sure if she or Anna May was the de facto leader of the librarians. If they had added something - either her legitimately having a moment where she takes charge or (even better) establish a rivalry between Florence and Anna May over who is in charge that would have done a lot, but unfortunately as it stands Florence didn’t get the development that Michelle Yeoh deserved.

So where does this movie rank in characters? 3/5

4) Writing

If the movie started to falter a bit when it came to its characters, it faltered even more when it came to the writing. In fact it’s the writing that can be blamed for the characters not given the development they should have gotten, even if these are two different categories.

And yes, it’s an action film, so technically the plot takes second place to the fisticuffs and gunplay - and while I’m not going to hold the genre against the film, even as an action film the script could have been a lot stronger.

Most importantly, the movie should have been at least thirty minutes longer in order to allow more growth and development for each of the characters. One scene that should have been in the movie was one of Emily while she was captured by McAlister. He should have tried to turn her against Sam, not realizing that the revelation that he had killed her dad had already done that. But Emily is smart, and the more he talks the more she realizes she’s directing her anger at the wrong person. Then when Sam turns herself in so that she’ll be safe it solidifies it for her - Sam might have pulled the trigger, but she’s not the heartless killer that she should be angry at.

And that is just one example of how a longer runtime and a few more rewrites could have given the story and characters a lot more depth.

Now onto the white elephant in the room.

“There’s a group of men called the firm” (yes, I’m going there... somebody has to).

I get what the film was going for, but this is the most perfect example of why it needed one or two more rewrites. 1) If it’s a group of men, why is Sam working for them and why is she recognized as the best at what she does? The movie is trying to imply inherent sexism, but because it felt the need to slam us over the head with that line all subtlety was lost.

Sam could have just called it “a group” and then we the audience would see that while men and women work for them, the ones calling the shots are all men. And then to turn around and show how much more prepared, professional, and competent the Librarians are would make this point in a much more subtle and compelling way. There is a lot more power in using that kind of storytelling than in explicitly telling your point to the audience in so many words.

However, while most movies that go this route make all their male characters useless or stupid, Gunpowder Milkshake did manage to not do that. Other than the three stooges, which Nathan chose to send after Sam because he didn’t want her killed, therefore by design are supposed to be useless, all of the people that our mains go up against feel like legitimate threats.

And I’m glad, because as a woman I do not like the recent tendency to turn men into useless idiots and then imply that is the only way the women managed to defeat them. I want women going up against men who are at their best, and still win. And this movie did that.

Additionally, I will say that the whole “group of men” thing is a minor quibble on my part, as it doesn’t fall into the pitfalls most other movies who are making this point fall into. But it is unfortunately an example of why the writing could have been much better.

Add in some awkward dialogue that only worked because of how ridiculously charming and likable everybody in the cast is, and we unfortunately have writing that is sub par and does not live up to the standards set by the other three elements. The aesthetic, the cast, and even the characters deserved better writing.

As a side note: Where do these people get their milkshakes that they manage not to melt even after three hours? Because that’s some circa 3000 level galaxy brain and I want it.

So where does this movie rank in its writing? 2/5

Conclusion:

I said at the top that for a movie to be “great” it has to meet all four elements, but to be "good” it only has to meet two, and Gunpowder Milkshake definitely meets two of the elements.

Where it begins faltering and falls short of being “great” is in the characters and the writing, which is a shame because the brilliance of the cast and the genuinely engaging and breathtaking aesthetic deserved to be in a movie that can be called great.

I would love a sequel to this movie that does flesh out the relationships better, provide more depth to the characters, and allows for the writing to match the quality of the cast/aesthetic.

So what is my total ranking for this film? 3.5/5

It’s good, and I will definitely watch it again and recommend it to people, but it so easily could have been great.

#gunpowder milkshake #karen gillan #lena heady #angela bassett #michelle yeoh #carla gugino #look at that I managed to actually be professional and write a whole interview that didn't include simping over A ngela B assett #y'all should be proud of me

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strawberrielarrie · 4 years

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Music Industry Stunts and why they happen

Stunts are a big part of the music industry, you may not know it, but they are. The purpose of stunts is to push a certain narrative to the general public. Now this could mean many different things, PR relationship; coverups; or to peak the publics interest. Why? You may ask, why would the artist do this, why wouldn’t they just be truthful? Well, many don’t have a choice, the music industry is a place that I wish no one would have to be in, it is a cruel and awful place to be if you don’t know how to get around it, or if you don’t have the correct connections. In the past (and still now), many big brand music industries, such as Sony Music and Warner Music have controlled artists immensely.

George Michael

As a legend in the music industry, George Michael is a well-known name in the average household. From his time in the hit duo “Wham!”, Michael’s music was distributed through CBS, but in 1987 Sony took over and that’s when things went downhill. Michael reveled in the popularity of his hit album “Faith” in 1987, and so did Sony, because he was earning them money.

But that ended quickly with the news of his next album “Listen Without Prejudice” in 1990, Sony refused to promote the album and appear in the music videos for it. Michael in turn, disputed his contract with Sony, but he could not do close to anything, because Sony possessed the power of approval over everything that he put out. Meaning, George Michael could not release music without it going through the board of Sony, and if he did, he could get sued and fired.

(Sony is a whole other world of fucked up, they fucked MJ up so badly, Sony Kills)

During this whole time, George came clean, saying that the board of Sony, used many different homophobic slurs against him, and wouldn’t let him release any music that seemed to allude to the fact that he was gay.

George Michael brought Sony to court in 1993, claiming that between 1987-1992, he had made worldwide profits of £7.35 million ($9.8 million) compared to Sony making £52.45 million ($70 million). Ultimately, the case lasted till June 1994, and Michael had lost, the judge claiming that it was fair. Michael retaliated saying how Sony is “Professional Slavery”.

Suzanne Kessler, Entertainment attorney at Bone McAllester Norton and former in-house attorney at A&M Records and Universal Music Group stated, “There are two sides to this tale,” she said. “The music business is a relationship business, and he was uneasy with what was happening. A label often wants an artist to continue to trade on their established brand with the public. But after “Faith” Michael was trying for a new direction, to be taken more seriously as an artist instead of just as a pop star sex symbol.”

This brings me to my next point,

Closeting in the Industry

(Now I could go on for day about closeting in the music industry, but I will only give you the basis and then I will link another post that goes further in depth.)

Closeting is not a rare thing in the music industry, it in fact happens more than you might think. Many different artists have come forward, saying how their management said they should remain closeted to the general public, in order to maintain the brand that has been established. A popular example of this would be Sam Smith, they were offered multiple times by their management to have a beard. More closeting in the industry comes from Colton Haynes, who has been open about how his management closeted him because he “could not be gay and work in the industry”.

Colton link

Beard: A woman or man who fake dates a person of the LQBTQ+ Community, to hide their real sexual orientation or identity

The Types of Stunts and Stunt Songs

“Pap Pics”

Stunts are common, we all should know that. From the amount of staged paparazzi pictures and videos that get posted to twitter on the daily it is not surprising that stunts happen. One of the main reasons stunts happen is for publicity, I can tell you now, living in LA for as long as I did, the paparazzi aren’t at every corner just waiting for a celebrity to walk past. They are called to meet at a place where the celebrity is going to be, in order to get pictures. This call is made by the artists management normally, and many times it is done against the artists will.

“Relation-shit”

These types of stunts are the relationship stunts, normally it is two popular celebrities dating to gain publicity for a movie or song that they are doing. A popular reference to this would be Joe Jonas and Demi Lovato, Joe was approached by a head of Disney, who asked him to date, at the time, co-star Demi Lovato. This stunt was to push the new Disney movie that both were starring in, Camp Rock 2: The Final Jam. Now at the time Demi was unaware that Joe was approached to do this, so when Joe and hid dad approached her about it… wow that must have hurt.

Another example of a relation-shit would be Shawmilla. Now before you attack me for this, let’s look at all the facts. Everything that relationship has done has been staged, let’s look at the timeline.

August 2015

- the first time they publicly hung out (at the 2015 VMA’s), sparking rumors of them dating

September 2015

- pictured together at the iHeart Radio Festival, sparking rumors of Camila branching off of Fifth Harmony

November 2015

- “I Know What You Did Last Summer” was released and performed many different times, Camila was still in Fifth Harmony at the time

June 2016

- Shawn and Camila win an award for IKWYDLS and accepted together

- Camilla ultimately starts her solo career

December 2017

- Shawn is pictured with Hailey Baldwin (Bieber)

February 2018

- Camila is in a serious relationship with Matthew Hussey, confirmed by a trip to Mexico together

April 2018

- Shawn and Hailey go to the Met Gala together (Iconic)

December 2018

- Camila hints at music between her and Shawn on twitter (6 months before Senorita)

https://twitter.com/Camila_Cabello/status/1070381510740598785?s=20

May 2019

- Matthew and Camila last spotted together, returning from a vacation in Italy

- Met her family on May 14th

June 20th, 2019

- Senorita is released, now this had been in the works for over 6 MONTHS, so this was all very planned out

- On release day, the Senorita music video was also released, which is literally soft porn, I do not know how it is still on the internet, gross

- But, Camila? Aren’t you still dating Matthew? Why would you release this very VERY touchy music video with Shawn, if you are still dating Matthew?

June 21st, 2019

- Shawn and Camila in V Magazine, still very touchy

June 26th, 2019

- Breakup articles about Matthew and Camilla, Weird since he met her family only a month before.

July 3rd, 2019

- Staged photos of Shawn and Camila out and about

4th

- more staged pics

5th

- Camila at Shawn’s Concert

6th

- Shawn denies that him and Camila are dating

https://twitter.com/PopCrave/status/1147700409919778816?s=20

7th

- Shawmila in San Francisco all day

12th

- That god awful making out pics that shook the entire internet

- More pics in SF

Ok you get the point, they are pictured together only when one of them has music to promote, In this case its Senorita. Now for more recent proofs of this entire relationship being a sham. Shawn just released an album called “Wonder” and guess what we wonder Shawn? Why do you not post any pictures of Camila until you have an album to promote? And now you have a puppy? Pulling an Elounor are we?

Senorita is a total stunt song to “prove” to the public that they are together.

“Style”

Now this type of stunt gets its name from the queen of stunt songs herself, Ms. Taylor Swift. The notorious song Style, supposedly about “Ex” Harry Styles, is probably one of the most stunty stunt songs I have ever heard. Like come on! “James Dean Daydream look in your eyes” if you didn’t know, here is a short recap on the icon himself James Dean.

Taylor has time and time again written amazing songs, I would be lying if I did not call her one of the greatest lyricists on the 21st century, the woman can write extremely well. So why would she put a nod to James Dean, a famous actor, who was a closeted, RAGING bisexual in a song so clearly about Harry Styles? She knows what she is doing.

Talking more about the “Haylor” stunt, can we please end that? It was a 3-month PR stunt that happened 5 years ago, please just get over it, they never really dated. And to the hardcore Haylor fans, there is no chemistry between them.

Haylor; The Stunt

“I hate you because I’m getting paid to!”

Now I do not go into this one much, but basically it is when you see two artists publicly fighting and releasing diss tracks. A popular example of this would be, Machine Gun Kelley and Eminem, with their songs called “Rap Devil” and “Killshot”. Their “beef” was totally staged to boost views on both sides, its even more prominent because they have the same record label, INTERSCOPE.

Eminem v. MGK

I will be adding to this the more things happens, but it you have and questions feel free to ask them!

#I cantbelievesispent3daysonthis imsotired imgladadderallexists #Stunts Taylor Swift George Micheal Haylor Larrystylinson James Dean shawnmendes shawn mendes camilacabello harrystyles #harry styles #ihateithere #idontknowhowtagswork

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kaypeace21 · 3 years

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DID theory part 3: St novels/comics/spotify list analyses

*read part 2 of DID theory-first! You’ll be lost otherwise, seriously XD. First, I’ll say -I find the ST comics/ books as canon as the st movie inspirations . I don’t consider the books/comics ‘literal canon’ (cause they contradict the show ( like Max and billy meeting a year before s2 in runaway max - but meeting as little kids in s3, or El’s age being wrong in suspicious minds, in the d&D comic Will’s friends instead of him /Jonathan building castle byers, etc) .

So I think we shouldn’t take it literally - but more like the st movie lists - filled with foreshadowing/symbolism and other eastereggs (That the Duffers may have told them to add). So here’s some more (possible) alter / DID hints...

‘Suspicious minds’ novel

- Brenner equates k*lling rabbits to h*rting kids. And he’ll hurt (kid) Kali (the bunny in the analogy) if Terry tries running away from him . I wonder if Lonnie used a similar threat against jonathan? Jon could be giving only a partial truth to why he cried for a week (about the bunny story)?

-Kali “hops” like a bunny then talks about tigers obsessively (linking her to rabbits/tigers similar to the other alters/Will/Lonnie). Terry also imagines tigers and kali says to Alice they can all be tigers together.

- one of the only male psychic experiments (who can see the future) is gay

- Terry is into lord of the rings, like Will. Has her and her boyfriend dress as sam & frodo (m/m ship). Terry calls her and her friends “the fellowship”.

-when Terry/Alice were injected with d**gs -they hallucinated rainbows.yikes.

- Alice (like Lonnie) is a car mechanic. She can see the future like Will the wise and says “monsters of course my mind has them as long as they stayed in there, everything would be alright? Wouldn’t it?” (in her visions she saw the demogorgan).

(completed) graphic ST novels (by Jody Hozer) so far (+ other st comics).

*Jody Hozer writes all the graphic novels (every novel is 4 chapters each) - the will byers comic, number 6 comic , into the fire comic, and at the moment she’s writing the d&d series and the summer camp series (which isn’t done yet). Then there’s the occasional 1 chapter st comics not written by her.

- Number 6 has (the ability to foresee the future like Will the wise/Alice) and has an ab*sive dad.

When having a nightmare of the demogorgan ...she says as she wakes up “screw you dad” (another hint the demogrgan -aka in d&d means ‘deep father’ ...is Lonnie).

- when number 6 and others run they say they’re’ “rabbiting”(which yes technically makes sense but I found such an uncommon phrase odd.)

- The (summer camp and d&d graphic novels aren’t completed yet) but they establish d&d creatures are based off real life people the boys don’t like in real life. Or that d&d is used as an outlet to explain true events from their pasts -but they just give the true stories a d&d fantasy slant.

- Which brings me to the halloween oneshot(not by Hozer),taking place before s1. Will tells a scary story told to him by Jonathan, and originally told to him by Lonnie. Says the boys have to keep it a secret cause it was something he was never supposed to tell to anyone. Mike says he has to finish the story he started. It’s about a “ch*lld-eater” monster first attacking a boy near the quarry (like where Will was found) and attacking kids in a library (where Will was also found in s1).When the child sees the sheriff she bangs on the library door begging for help-he ignores her , walks away, and tells the other cops to never speak of what they saw as she screams for help. Because the previous sheriff was in kahoots with the monster. It def had some ... uh questionable imagery too 0_0

The vine in the mouth is also like the one in Will’s mouth (when Joyce found him in the library).And of course Dustin asks whether or not something like that could be covered up.

- In the “bully comic” (about troy) also not by Jody. We focus on Troy and his ab*sive dad (who encourages him to fight/ditch his best friend). The dad has a drinking problem (gets fired), calls Troy a “mess” , pushes him, and constantly encourages Troy to be vi*lent/macho. He pretty much tries sabotaging the relationship Troy has with his friend (which I could see Lonnie doing in the future with byler).The dad/troy is framed similarly to when Billy gives Max a ride home- after both ab*sers give bad advice saying not to hang out with their friend (after witnessing them fight in the school parking lot). Dad also laughs about almost k*lling a squirrel (a trait we see troy mimic)- and we see El feel guilty about k*lling a squirrel in s2. At the end of the comic- Troy (like Will) after making up with his bff james- moves leaving his best friend behind.

- (into the fire) Twins: (one was normal with no powers living in the real world and the twin with fire powers is trapped in a dark sunless “cold” world styled like a psych facility/medieval fantasy) . pics in link.She hated her reflection cause it reminded her of being betrayed by her normal non powered twin who left her behind in the ‘cold’ place. She’d call herself a ‘hunter’ who would defend herself and attack others to never be hurt again. Her powers being unleashed were described like opening “a door.” And she loves her twin deep down and just wants friends . And fire twin goes to the “other side” to reunite with her reflection and find happiness in the real world. *also there’s sunflower/bunny symbols which she lights on fire-which can relate back to Will/Terry/Lonnie etc. The twins = Will & Will the wise (mf)

Mirrors also connect to Will and Will the wise via the canon spotify playlists too.

Will playlist (song: mirror in the bathroom)-Mirror in the bathroom Please talk free.The door is locked -Just you and me.Mirror in the bathroom recompense for all my crimes of self defense.Cures you whisper make no sense!Drift gently into Mental illness.

Demogorgan playlist ( from perspective of Will the wise aka the mf) (song: are you dead yet? )-”polluted soul through a mirror I behold.Throw a punch, shards bleed on the floor. tearing me apart. but I don't care anymore.Should I regret or ask myself are you dead yet?Wake up, don't cry. Regenerate to deny the truth. The fiction you live in blindfolds your eyes. Disclosure, self loathing, this time you've gone too far.Or could it be, my nemesis, that you are me?

(*st ‘into the fire’ comic. the fire powered twin’s thoughts echo the song)

*I think this foreshadows the later plot points of mf (will the wise ) and Will interacting via mirrors. The fire-wielding twin and the non powered twin had a lot of mirror imagery. Including the fire powered twin (Who denies reality/and imagines herself in a fantasy world) punching her reflection because it reminds her of her non-powered twin. Here’s some cover art from the novels showing how much they emphasize mirrors.

*And in s4 movies Black swan - “the black and white swan twins (two halves of the same person-Nina)” had creepy mirror imagery. In long kiss goodnight the women with DID talks to her “ (supposed)dark 1/2″ via a mirror (in a dream). in ‘the visit’ the teen girl who’s dad abandoned her when young- refuses to look in the mirror (and it’s never explained why she hates her reflection). So yes I think we’ll see this in s4 or 5. We already see the mf take on the appearance of Billy when talking to him.

- Will in “zombie boy” comic is afraid he’s a monster.

also lets appreciate the lil byler moment of Mike and Will being the only zombies and mike comforting him. honestly , though, the characters were pretty out of character for most of this 1 ch comic (until the end) tbh.

- in the “d&d comic” mf is (possibly) described as a “protector” (aka like how i said the mf is probably a perpetrator alter- which are misguided protectors).

*update now that it’s finished... hinting Will created everything subconsciously.

‘Runaway Max’ novel (before s3)

(I didn’t get time to read this book unlike ‘suspicious minds’ -so can’t show screen shots of everything others talked about. May read it eventually)

-Max compares Billy to ‘her monster’ and a ‘shadow’ that will attack anyone that comes close (mf parallel).

- Dart k*lled a cat, El’s papa tried to force her to k*ll a cat. And Billy when seeing a d*ad cat lights it on fire for a “viking funeral”. A connection to WW (who has fire powers) and El & dart.

-Max and Billy both are into cars and bond over fixing them (similar to Lonnie’s interest in fixing up cars). And since Lonnie tried to brag to Jonathan about fixing a car up and Will is into tech it wouldn’t be a stretch that Lonnie and Will were into fixing cars together (like Max/billy who would hang out at a autoshop in Cali) . Similar to Will ,max says hanging with Billy wasn’t always so bad- which made things more confusing to her.

- Max compares Billy being beat up by Neil: to ‘punching a pocket of a baseball glove’. This is interesting since this book was pre-s3 which was when they established the connection of billy and his dad to baseball (similar to s1 saying Lonnie taught Will baseball).

-Billy’s friend is a nice ‘music snob’ . He tries distracting Max with music while Billy is burning the cat. Which reminds me of Jonathan trying to distract Will from their parents fighting in the next room-with music

- Max’s bio dad is a criminal who takes her to shady bars, and Max fears he’d ‘get bored of her’. Max also ran away from her mom to her dad’s 2x.Which reminds me of Jonathan thinking Will ran to Lonnie’s in s1.

-Max mentions how Billy misses his friends after moving out of Cali. And he starts acting even worse-after the move. Which will probably be the case for Will (at least a bit) when moving to California.

-Billy tells Max Neil isn’t his ‘real dad’ either because Neil can’t be a father to anyone.

-Billy also tells Max who (at the time ) is 12 years old not to act “easy” and breaks her best friend’s (Nate’s) arm over someone joking he was Max’s boyfriend and also cause Nate tried to get in between Billy bullying Max. Eventually all her Cali friends ditch her cause they’re afraid of Billy.And Ugh- why could I see Lonnie doing something like this in the future with Will/his new friends.

- Creepily Max says Billy doesn’t fool around with her like other girls not because of her age or being family. But cause she wasn’t ‘attractive’. This whole excerpt gave me the heeby jeebies,on so many levels, honestly. Almost like he’s jealous- and controlling her cause he doesn’t want Max to have any love interests. Maybe i’m just missing the context? But ugh... excerpt:

Will byers secret Files

-Hopper gets scared by a pumpkin-scarecrow. And in Will’s canon journal when talking about the mindflayer and his nightmares draws the same scare-crow , Hopper saw. There’s also a lot of s4-5 foreshadowing in the book... but that’s a post for another day.

Darkness on the edge of town (Hopper novel)

*didn’t get time to read this (except the preview)

I think it’s more foreshadowing for future seasons though- cult/supposed ritual k*llings, people being wrongly blamed for those crimes-like the hellfire club , most likely. (similar to the guy number 3 in the number 6 comic) saint john in the novel also has the same brain control powers as 3- similar to the mf. .” When a blackout plunges the boroughs into chaos, Hopper must escape the the mobs in the streets to make sure his family is safe and stop Saint John from fulfilling his prophecy.” I already talked about here- how the next few seasons would start having more religious symbolism/a future apocalypse (based on what we’ve seen in the show/s4 movies). Although, i think there’s quite a few differences between (the novel’s) saint john and Will the wise. Hopper is also a star wars nerd like the boys (alter hint)

Canon spotify songs (posted after s2/before s3) hinting at DID/ alter /lonnie stuff-

Will and Will the wise (aka the mf) being an alter

*Used Will and the demogorgan playlist (which i think has perspectives of Will the wise aka the mf, demogorgan, and Lonnie).

Besides the mirror songs previously mentioned...

Will (cold inside)-Doctor the problem's in my chest.My heart feels cold as ice but it's anybody's guess?Doctor can you help me cause I don't feel right?Better make it fast before I change my mind. Doctor can you help me cause I don't feel right?Better make it fast before I change my mindWell it's cold, cold, cold, cold inside. Darker in the day than the dead of night Cold, cold, cold, cold inside...Counselor give me some advice Tell me how hard will I fall if I live a double life?

El (ghost)-your ghost, the ghost of you.It keeps me awake.My friends had you figured out.Yeah they saw what's inside of you. You tried hiding another you.But your evil was coming through... living in the shade Your cold heart makes my spirit shake.

El (monster Lead me home)-I don't know what, what I was afraid of, I was afraid oooof...Monster take me somewhere...We walk in shadow.Monster lead me home.Where there is no place to hide.Stranger on the other side We walk in shadow.Monster lead me home.

The’ innerworld’/ other hints Max, El, Hopper, and Billy are alters of Will’s

Max (Logical song)-I know it sounds absurd. Please tell me who I am, who I am, who I am, who I am?

EL(Buzzcut season)-I remember when your head caught flame It kissed your scalp and caressed your brain ...nothing's wrong when nothing's true. I live in a hologram with you Where all the things that we do for fun . Play along (make-believe it's hyper real) But I live in a hologram with you.

Billy (broken bones)-Broken bones.Stay alone. If I see only what I believe -reality's bound by what I conceive

Max (Why can’t i touch it)-Well, it seems so real.I can see it.And it seems so real-I can feel it.And it seems so real-I can taste it.And it seems so real-I can hear it.So why can't I touch it?

Hopper (breakers)-Just to keep me from losing my mind .It's so easy to drown in the dream.Oh, and everything is not what it seems This life is but a dream.Shatter illusions that hold your spirit down ...From the inside, so it seems.Oh, I'm telling you it's all a dream It's all a dream It's all a dream It's all a dream It's all a It's all a dream.”

Max (comfortably numb)-When I was a child I caught a fleeting glimpse out of the corner of my eye.I turned to look but it was gone.I cannot put my finger on it now.The child is grown.The dream is gone.I have become comfortably numb.

Max (Kids aren’t alright)-Still it's hard Hard to see Fragile lives, shattered dreams...What the hell is going on? The cruelest dream, reality.

El(team)-Livin' in ruins of a palace within my dreams. And you know we're on each other's team

Hopper (denial twist) ( just change ‘she’ to ‘he’)-Just because she makes you feel wrong she don't mean to be mean or hurt you on purpose, boy!Take a tip and do yourself a little service...by playing a different role Ya, by playing a different role, oh.The boat ya you know she's rockin' it.And the truth well ya know there's no stoppin' it.So what, somebody left you in a rut and wants to be the one who's in control.But the feeling that you're under can really make you wonder.How the hell she can be so cold?So now you're mad, denying the truth.And it's getting in the wisdom in the back of your tooth

El (the story)-You see the smile that's on my mouth.It's hiding the words that don't come out.And all of my friends who think that I'm blessed.They don't know my head is a mess.No they don't know who I really am.And they don't know what I've been through

El (hero) ( pretty much alludes to El being a construct of Will’s mind similar to his juju zombies in the d&d story he wrote )-Who knows what you'll find when you look inside (billy’s mind)?Haunted beach (billy flashback), roll the dice.The zombies in the corner aren't amused (d&d ref).Play the part of the blushing bride...Out of view, cloaked by night...My spirit dims, but I feel the force"No longer in my hands," (loses powers) .I say to you .I could've been a hero, I could've been a zero.Could've been all these thingsI could've been nothing, I could've had something.Could've been all these things.And if I am unable, tell him that I'll try but underneath the table will spin the wheel and hope for gold. Oh, and where it stops, nobody knows.

Max (it’s real)-I don't know who's behind the wheel.Sometimes I feel like I don't know The deal.But when I tell you how I feel-Believe me when I say It's real.I skated on a frozen Sea.It's real as far as I Can see?

Max (Halloween)-Because your role is planned for you there's nothing you can do.

El (White rabbit... alice and wonderland/lonnie ref)-And if you go chasing rabbits, and you know you're going to fall...When logic and proportion have fallen sloppy dead.

demogrogan(Dimensions of horror)-Gaze upon the ancient face you dread (lonnie)... Passing through the doors, into Dimensions Of Horror. Haunting visions from the past, rise once more.Realms of darkness, terror, death and gore.Scream in fear, your sanity is lost

demogorgan (SCHORCHED)-Terrorizing madness. Vivid dreams. internal. Hallucinating the unknown. Abstract entities prey.Through superhuman abilities.Fragments of memory erased.

demogrogan (Calling from a dream)-the shadow king...seven spirits (7 ref) Swarming around his head.Close your eyes.Listen to my call. Our bond will bring us together again.I will wait for you. For our hearts still beat as one.Listen to my calling from a dream. (integration?)

Maybe a coincidence or a hint at Will having both male &female alters?Billy (dude looks like a lady)- What a funky lady...Oh, he was a lady.Dude looks like a lady. Hopper (turn the page)-All the same old cliches,"Is that a woman or a man?" Max ( rebel rebel) (this was on her her pre s3 spotify list + post s3 “wrapped list”)- you got your mother in a whirl, doesn’t know if you’re a boy or girl?

SHIT DAD/ AB*SIVE FAMILY

*trigger w*rning ahead for dark themes like s**ual ab*se

demogorgan (my children)My children I never loved them.Why feel that way when their existence is my business?My children...feral vessals of my selfinterest...So don't lean on me man 'Cause I ain't got nothing to give.Don't lean on me man 'Cause I ain't got nothing to give.My children they're right behind you My children they're gonna beat you.My children if you let them Oh, oh, my children.

demogorgan (black dahlia-window): I’m not quoting the lyrics you can just look it up. it’s messed up.Based on the 1st person pov of Gilles de Rais -k**ler and p*d*rest who also kidnapped a cleric.

Will (creature comfort)-Some boys hate themselves.Spend their lives resenting their fathers... hate their bodies .Stand in the mirror (another mirror ref) and wait for the feedback.Some boys get too much, too much love, too much touch.

Jonathan’s Playlist- We’re happy family: “Eating refried beans (poverty). Gulpin’ down Thorazines (pills for a mood disorder). We ain’t got no friends (s2 ref). Our troubles never end. Daddy likes men. Daddy’s telling LIES.”

Jonathan’s playlist-Enter sandman: “Don’t forget my son. Sleep with one eye open. Gripping your pillow tight, Exit light, Enter night. Take my hand, we’re off to never-never land. Something’s wrong, shut the light, heavy thoughts tonight. Dreams of LIARS and of things that will bite, yeah. Hush little baby don’t say a word, and never mind that noise you heard. It’s just the beasts under your bed, in your closet in your head.”

Jonathan (The killing moon-guy sings this)-So soon you'll take me up in your arms. Too late to beg you or cancel it. Against your will!He will wait until you give yourself to him...In starlit nights I saw you.So cruelly you kissed me... unwillingly mine.

jonathan (haunted)-You and I both know that the house is haunted And you and I both know that the ghost is me. You used to catch me in your bed-sheets just a-rattling your chains.Well back then , it didn't seem so strange...In the midnight hour..I was busy trying to charm that snake. When the sun came up we had no place to hide...You and I both know that the house is haunted yeah you and I both know that the ghost is YOU! You used to walk around screaming, all slamming all 'dem doors Well I'm all grown up now and I don't scare easy no more But you and I both know.

Hopper (Confession)-Now I'm on the low Confession, to a virgin ghost Admission, force you know.

hopper (Tomorrow ) Yeah, and back when s*x and amph*tamines were the staples of our childhood physique.

Max (Last caress)-I got something to say.I k**led your baby today.And it doesn't matter much to me.As long as it's de*d.Well I got something to say.I r*ped your mother today.And it doesn't matter much to me.As long as she spread. (Lonnie pov? Neil?messed up song to be on Max’s list)

hopper House of the rising sun- And my father was a gamblin' man Way down in New Orleans... And the only time he's satisfied Is when he's on a drunk

Max Poor relations-An attitude, no patience, he's paper thin.Talking over everything you have to say...Don't correct the things he said, what's the use?Can't handle violence.Can't handle violence.Learning to love the abuse you can't live without.Your familiar oppression, your daily injustice...That loser man that belongs to you, he's ruling you.

el (sweet dreams are made of this)- Some of them want to use you ...Some of them want to ab*se you.Sweet dreams are made of this...Hold your head up.Keep your head up, movin' on.

Max (Alternative ulster)-They say they're a part of you.And that's not true, you know.They say they've got control of you.And that's a lie, you know.They say you will never Be free, free, free

max In bloom-”Sometimes at night I let it get to me.And last night it had me down and feeling NUMB...And thinking back upon those days Way way back when I was young.I was such a little shit.Cos I was always on the run.Well you know just what they say-Just like father then like son.Don't delude me with your sympathy.Cos I can do this on my own.And this will be the last time-That I break down and wanna crawl to bed. “(since Billy has a playlist I found this song choice being on hers instead of his interesting- in fact almost all of Max’s songs are from the 1st person perspective of a boy unlike the other gals.)

Max (comfortably numb)-The child is grown.The dream is gone.I have become comfortably NUMB.

hopper (numb)-Honey, here I go again Down that crooked road of sin.My momma locked me out again And hung me high to rust under the rain I am NUMB( 8x)....Little bluebird at my window Sing a pretty song for me Don't you know that you can fly, fly, fly away Don't you know that you can leave I am numb.

other psych songs

Hopper (life of sin)-Every morning when I rise I look in the mirror (another mirror ref) and despise the sight of everything and all that I've become. The level of my medicating some might find intimidating But that's alright cause' it don't bother me none.

Max (Moon over marin)- “Dive in my scalding wooden tub (connects to mf/el)...There, wasn't that a nice visit?Don't forget, a psychiatrist is on duty twenty-four hours a day in the blue room...Drink plenty of water when you take these.Now you can relax.” ( I wonder if stranger writers saying to “drink plenty of water” is secretly a line said by a psych person in s4?)

Max (Feeling ok)-My doctor says that I should take it -At least I won't have to keep faking.I know, someday I'll find it-Where I, I least expect it.Today I know I feel ok.

Max ( Going gets tough)-.No home since the fire.Me and the ash can't settle down...So I sink another round-Placebo for pain.And there's no one for to blame . I refuse to accept-That my work is all in vain...Still always remembering .When the going gets tough .That the labor of our love-Will reward us soon enough.

Max (Comfortably numb)-Hello? (Hello? Hello? Hello?)Is there anybody in there?Just nod if you can hear me.Is there anyone home?Come on now-I hear you're feeling down.Well I can ease your pain .Get you on your feet again.Relax // Now I've got that feeling once again.I can't explain . you would not understand.This is not how I am. I have become comfortably numb.I have become comfortably numb //Okay (okay, okay, okay)Just a little pinprick.There'll be no more, ah .But you may feel a little sick.Can you stand up?I do believe it's working, good.That'll keep you going through the show.Come on it's time to go// Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying.

Explanations of Why the mf (WIll the wise)behaves the way he does

demogorgan (ww) (Cowards starved)- friends think of me as a priest.I had to show them that the weakest hands Can still make impressive fires. (aka MF = will the wise)

demogorgan (ww) (Unmerciful):I will be reborn...Tranquil demeanor.Now devoured.Surfacing malice...I can't reconcile the torment others bring unto me.I will not take any reproach.Turning the other cheek.Relentless hatred consumes.Control released.Absolved of all compassion.I am free .Look into my hate filled eyes and tell me What do you see?Surging aura of my rage Paralyzing you in fear.

Demogorgan (ww) (bodies-Beaten why for (why for)?Can't take much more.(Here we go, here we go, here we go).One, nothing wrong with me,Two, nothing wrong with me.Three, nothing wrong with me.Four, nothing wrong with me.One, something's got to give.Two, something's got to give.Three, something's got to give now...You're all by yourself but you're not alone...Driven by hate consumed by fear.

demogrgan (ww)-Orbs used as transmitters carry electromagnetic beams from above (affecting magnetic fields in the show).Silence, manipulated, tortured ...How immune is your system of suffering?Its in the blood of suffering (familial ref).Its in the blood.

Demogrgan (Monster)-I shoot the lights out..Whoa, just another lonely night...None of who you get it, ain't nobody cold as this.A zombie (will ref) with no conscience .Everybody knows I'm a motherfucking monster. Everybody wanna know what my Achilles' heel is? Love I don't get enough of it.

#stranger things #will byers #stranger things comics #did theory

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fefipranon · 3 years

Text

Let’s talk about depression

In my latest book ‘The Power of Death’ I talk about this topic in depth. I will post the links to it at the end of this post if you are interested in reading it. If there is one part of the book that resumes the message that I wanted to transmit, it’s Mikasa’s (The main character) press conference at the end of the last chapter.

It’s okay if you don’t read the whole book, but at least, read the following extract from the book (some stuff removed to avoid spoilers):

Standing behind the podium Mikasa started the conference by saying,

"Paradis island doesn't have studies about the topic we are about to discuss, but other countries do. In the United States, in 2019, a total of 47,511 Americans died by suicide and an estimated 1.38 million attempted it. [2] What about other countries? you may ask, well, overall, suicide was in the top 10 leading causes of death across Eastern Europe, Central Europe, high-income countries within the Asia Pacific, and Australasia. Within regions and countries, though, suicide rates soared among people with lower social and economic status. [3] This data comes from research made by the Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation in Washington, Seattle. [4] This goes without mentioning that for every suicide, it is estimated that there are seven to ten people intimately affected."[8]

Mikasa stopped to take a sip of water and looked back at the audience to continue her speech,

"Untreated depression can, and possibly will lead to suicide, death. In biology, homeostasis is the state of steady internal, physical, and chemical conditions maintained by living systems. [5] Depression does have an impact on this. Research shows that the hippocampus is smaller in some depressed people. For example, in one fMRI study published in The Journal of Neuroscience, investigators studied 24 women who had a history of depression. On average, the hippocampus was 9% to 13% smaller in depressed women compared with those who were not depressed. The more bouts of depression a woman had, the smaller the hippocampus. [6] The hippocampus is not the only area of the brain affected by depression, the Amygdala, and Thalamus are also affected.[6] Depression is, and should be treated as, an illness that, if left untreated, can be lethal. Just remember the statistics I gave you about suicide at the beginning of my speech. With that data as the base of my argument, it is safe for me to say that depression is one of the top life-threatening illnesses having, in some countries, the top mortality rate overall."

A woman from the public raised her hand and when allowed to talk she said,

"How can you call an illness to something that can be 'cured' by just talking to a so-called doctor about your issues?"

Mikasa gave the woman a serious look and said, "Therapy, is not just talking. Psychotherapy stands over years of research and development going as back as the 19th century. There is extensive evidence of its effectiveness. Also, most cases of depression treatments include medication."

Then a man shouted, "So now doctors will give our kids a bunch of pills just because the child is feeling a little sad?!"

"Several tests are usually performed before a psychiatrist gives a diagnosis of depression. Tests like: physical exams, lab tests, psychiatric evaluation, and the country's manual of mental health like for example the DSM-5 which is the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders from the American Psychiatric Association, is applied. After that, the psychiatrist might do more testing to see if medication is an option. Because they are physicians, psychiatrists can order or perform a full range of medical laboratory and psychological tests which, combined with discussions with patients, help provide a picture of a patient's physical and mental state. Their education and clinical training equip them to understand the complex relationship between emotional and other medical illnesses and the relationships with genetics and family history, to evaluate medical and psychological data, to make a diagnosis, and to work with patients to develop treatment plans.[7] In other words, for a doctor to prescribe medication to your child, it has to first do an extensive evaluation on the kid before even start to consider medication in the first place. If in the end, medication is needed, then it would mean that your kid is not only 'feeling a little sad', it means that there is a deeper problem that needs to be addressed and the physician will have a lot of evidence to back up his claim.", Mikasa said.

She stopped talking and pinched the bridge of her nose out of frustration, then she looked seriously at the same man she was addressing before, and said, "Would you rather lose your child to suicide or seek valid, scientific-based help to save the kid's life?"

The man was frozen in place. He was not expecting to be put in the spotlight this way. Mikasa noticed the teenage kid who was seated next to him with his head bowed to the floor. Before he could answer Mikasa said,

"Do you even know how depression feels like? To have your own mind to conspire against you? To illogically feel worthless, alone, like nobody can understand you, or at least, nobody that hasn't been through the same darkness as you. Do you know how it feels when people tell you worthless crap like, 'get over it', or 'just stop being sad' like being sad is just an option you chose because apparently, you like to torture yourself? Have you ever contemplated to end your life out of desperation to get an out, a break, from your own mind?"

By this point, the kid was looking straight at Mikasa with tears pouring down his eyes. Mikasa knew she was getting through him. She grabbed the microphone and started to walk while resuming her speech,

"To feel like you are constantly drowning. To feel like an ungrateful ass because logically, you should be happy because you have everything. But you aren't... Thinking that there must be something really wrong with you for you to feel this way without an apparent reason. To feel lost, alone with this feeling that is eating you inside slowly until it gets to the point where you desperately want to rip your soul out of your body. When it gets so bad that causing physical pain to your body is an option since, at least, for a brief moment, your mind focuses on the physical pain which is better for you because the emotional pain is so much greater than a little cut on your forearm."

The man realized that she was no longer addressing him but the person seated next to him, his own son. Mikasa stood right in front of his son and looked at him in the eyes. She lowered the microphone and while brushing her fingers through the kid's scars on his forearm she said to him,

"You are not alone."

Then, she showed him her own scars and the kid stood up pulling her in for a hug while repeatedly saying, "Thank you"

Reporters were recording the whole encounter. It was real. Depression was real, and it was being recorded. The father of the kid sat back down while looking at his son in shock. Trying to find the words to say he just pulled him in for a hug while saying,

"I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"You never really asked.", the boy replied.

"I'm sorry. I will do better. You deserve better.", his dad replied with a broken voice.

Mikasa lifted the microphone again to talk and said, "Depression is a silent killer. It could be your child, partner, parent... it could be closer to you than what you think. So before you speak about the topic remember that. Your words could be hurting one of your own for your lack of empathy."

She walked towards the podium again to start answering reporter's questions,

"What would you say to someone who is going through this?"

Mikasa lowered her head lost in thought and said, "You don't need to have a traumatic event in your life to have depression. Depression is not just sadness and is not only caused by personality type or environmental factors. Genetics and biochemistry are also a big part of it, and those two have nothing to do with how much crap you've been dealt in life. What I am trying to say it's that, it's okay to not be okay, you don't need a reason to, and you don't need to feel worse about it for not having a reason. Being sad is not a right you earn after a certain amount of societally accepted shit has happened to you. Just seek help, see the situation logically, and not let people bring you down. If possible, educate others on the topic. Be the change you want to see in the world."

She paused, thinking of her own struggles with depression, and the stability and peace she finally felt once the pills started to work on her. Sure, dark thoughts still lingered at the back of her head, but, it was no longer unbearable, now, it was manageable. With time and therapy, she had managed to live with it, minimizing their negative effect on her. With this in mind, she said,

"Do not get frustrated if anti-depressants don't work at first, sometimes it takes a couple of tries with different types of medications to get the one that works for you. Researchers are exploring possible links between the sluggish production of new neurons in the hippocampus and low moods. An interesting fact about antidepressants supports this theory. These medications immediately boost the concentration of chemical messengers in the brain (neurotransmitters). Yet people typically don't begin to feel better for several weeks or longer. Experts have long wondered why, if depression were primarily the result of low levels of neurotransmitters, people don't feel better as soon as levels of neurotransmitters increase. The answer may be that mood only improves as nerves grow and form new connections, a process that takes weeks." [6]

She paused and looked at the crowd. Then, she said,

"In the meantime, stay alive, even if it feels against your will. Do not give a permanent solution to a temporary problem, because trust me, it DOES get better."

Stay Alive

Feel free to share this to raise awareness. This book has all the things I wish someone had told me in my darkest moments, and I hope, it can help someone out there who is going through the same painful path in life. Remember, it's not your fault, you are not alone.

Resources used in this part:

[1] Oswego City School District Regents Exam Prep Center. Archived from on 25 October 2012. Retrieved 12 November 2012. URL: homeostasis

[2] American Foundation for Suicide Prevention: suicide-statistics

[3] global-suicide-rates-study

[4] Global, regional, and national burden of suicide mortality 1990 to 2016: a systematic analysis for the Global Burden of Disease Study 2016: content

[5] Gordon., Betts, J. Anatomy and physiology. DeSaix, Peter., Johnson, Eddie., Johnson, Jody E., Korol, Oksana., Kruse, Dean H., Poe, Brandon. Houston, Texas. p. 9. ISBN 9781947172043. OCLC 1001472383.

[6] What causes depression? Harvard Medical School: what-causes-depression

[7] What Is Psychiatry? from the American Psychiatric Association. URL: what-is-psychiatry

[8] Lukas, Christopher; Henry M. Seiden (1997) [1987]. Silent Grief: Living in the Wake of Suicide. Northvale, New Jersey: Jaron Aronson. p. 5. ISBN 0-7657-0056-5.

Book Summary:

Mikasa is a woman suffering from clinical depression. There is one thing that she is sure of: she wants to die. But when she received some unexpected news that makes her death wish a reality, she starts to wonder if that was really what she wanted. She starts a journey to discover the truth about her biological parents that gave her up for adoption when she was a baby. This journey will guide her to cross paths with someone as broken as her, someone that hates her to death for what her biological family did to him. Will she have the courage to, for once, fight to live? or will she let him drag her to hell with him?

The book is tagged as an ‘Attack on Titan’ Alternate universe fanfic but honestly you don’t need to know anything about the anime to read it. The story has nothing to do with it so feel free to read if you haven’t seen it.

You can find the story in the following links:

Archive of our own:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30452145/chapters/75087657

Wattpad:

https://www.wattpad.com/story/264598251-the-power-of-death

#depression #Suicide #suicide awareness #hope #sad #sad thoughts #mind #psychotherapy #psychology #science

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honeysuckle-venom · 3 years

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hi! how’d your doctors and you decide you had schizophrenia vs. psychosis for other reasons, such as psychotic symptoms or episodes linked to dissociation or stress? What was the process of figuring this out like? How do you experience your schizophrenia vs. the DID and trauma symptoms?

Hi there! Thank you so very much for the questions!

There are many wonderful questions here and I like to talk about this stuff, so it's going to be quite long.

I'll start with the first question. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia this past September, although my therapist actually thought I had schizophrenia for a long time before telling me lol (which I'm fine with and understand in the context of my treatment). The actual DSM criteria for schizophrenia is pretty minimal, and most people with some form of psychosis could qualify for a schizophrenia diagnosis, but other forms of psychosis would need to be ruled out.

It's important to note that positive symptoms (delusions and hallucinations) are not the only symptom of schizophrenia. I experience positive symptoms of schizophrenia in the form of severe delusions and occasional hallucinations. I also struggle significantly with negative symptoms such as avolition and with disorganized thinking, speech, and behavior. Negative symptoms sometimes appear similar to depression, and in cases of schizoaffective disorder it can be hard to disentangle the two, however I do not suffer from depression and rarely feel sad or hopeless, yet I struggle significantly with daily tasks such as feeding myself, cleaning up, etc. I generally experience few mood symptoms, eliminating schizoaffective, depression with psychotic features, and bipolar as the cause of my psychosis as well. Disorganized thinking and behavior is also I believe more common with schizo-spec disorders than psychosis caused by trauma or dissociation. I have physical disorganized behaviors such as severe tics, being unable to move for long periods, and doing odd actions such as pouring water on myself when psychotic for no reason I can think of, so that points more towards classic schizophrenic symptoms than some other psychotic disorders as well. So the amount I struggle with negative symptoms and disorganized symptoms points towards a schizo-spec diagnosis, and my lack of mood symptoms eliminates schizoaffective.

My psychosis symptoms are also independent of my dissociation. Whether I'm highly dissociated or fairly grounded, I experience similar amounts of psychosis, indicating that the two are separate. Additionally, I've had DID my whole life, but while I've had some delusions since I was very young, I developed full blown schizophrenia after a severe psychotic break as a teenager, and that kind of psychotic break followed by years of negative symptoms and ongoing psychosis is typical of schizophrenia, not of dissociation-related psychosis. Also, my grandmother and cousin on my dad's side are both schizophrenic, and schizophrenia has a strong genetic component.

As for it being stress related, psychotic episodes within schizophrenia are often set off by stress, so those aren't mutually exclusive. The main suggestion for preventing positive symptoms besides medication is actually to reduce stress.

Now as to the question of whether my psychosis is trauma-based, my therapist and I actually don't have the standard medical view of schizophrenia. I believe that while schizophrenia clearly has a genetic and physical component, environmental factors play a more significant role thank many people think, and I believe my schizophrenia is actually largely caused by trauma. I may have had a predisposition towards schizophrenia, but I believe trauma is what caused it to fully develop. My therapist has a psychodynamic background, and psychodynamic theories generally view psychosis as the result of the treat of annihilation of the self, and I also approach these things mainly from a psychodynamic background. But my psychosis doesn't connect directly to my trauma, and trauma triggers aren't the main indicator of whether I'll have a psychotic episode or not, and the content of my psychosis is often very bizarre and pretty far removed from the realities of my trauma. That combined with the severity of my negative and disorganized symptoms and the genetic component mean that my experience is much closer to classic schizophrenia than to people who deal with occasional trauma-related psychosis.

As for the process of figuring all of this out, we figured it out fairly slowly. My therapist brought up the possibility of schizophrenia long after she first suspected I had it. She brought it up 7 years into my treatment with her, although she had suspected since year 1. She knew that I wasn't ready to hear it until recently, and she was right. She had a very long time to observe me and think about possible explanations for my symptoms, and schizophrenia was where she landed. After she brought it up with me and I started to do some research, so much made sense to me. I had struggled for a long time with feeling really inadequate because it was so hard for me to care for myself, and I I had known for a long time that I had psychosis but I didn't really like to think about it or know what to make of it. When the concept of schizophrenia was brought up as a reason, for about 5 minutes I was defensive and said "No way." Then I learned more and suddenly everything clicked and it felt like I finally understood what was wrong with me. It was a scary process, because a lot of what you hear about schizophrenia is scary and misleading and can make you feel hopeless. But it was also validating and a big relief to have an answer. Over the past several months, she and I have continued to discuss the concept of schizophrenia, how it makes me feel, and where to go with that diagnosis. Getting the right word was definitely not the end of exploring the symptoms or the diagnosis itself as a concept.

Your last question, how I experience schizophrenia vs DID and trauma symptoms, is connected to another ask I just got on the topic, so I’m going to stop this one here and answer that ask and talk more about the differences there because this has gotten so long.

#long post #about me #psychosis tag #s tag #answers #thank you so so much for asking!!!#i'm so happy to talk about this stuff #don't reblog

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rigelmejo · 3 years

Text

ok so i actually like cure dolly grammar i think. (link to the verb form video: https://youtu.be/GzEVLMDC8nw)

(with some major caveats: yes it looks odd, yes skip the intro and just tune out the parts about how ‘their method’ is great and others aren’t, and play the video at 1.5 playback speed or something Faster to make it a decent pace)

i watched 5 cure dolly videos and they were worth my time. while the train metaphor feels like just another way of making sense, i liked the comparison of ga to ‘it’ and how even in english we omit ‘it’ as children or speaking fast (my dad hates the word it he wished we were More explicit in english lol). i liked seeing the explanation of the ni particle, and how the verb or ‘is’ are one half of the core sentence and the ‘it’ is the other.

also how objects of verbs aren’t the point OF a sentence (which idk maybe is confusing to me from an english perspective?). Like in: she eats fish - kanojo ga sakana o taberu. i’m used to seeing it as NEEDING she(subject)-eats(verb)-fish (object). But the point is like... the main idea expressed in the sentence was “she eats” - the ‘fish’ is just a detail DESCRIBING the specifics of eat. that helps me idk visualize how adjectives and objects in japanese work better? because i notice often these things go before verbs or subjects but i couldn’t figure out a way to reason out the position? (and in english im glad i don’t have to learn now cause i’d struggle with adjective positions in english i already did with french).

mainly though the VERB explanation. how ‘taberu’ is really the ‘not-past’ tense, often about the future, and how in english we use ‘eat’ and other non-past tense words. we say “When i go to grandma’s house, i eat cookies” and things like that all the time. And in present tense we sometimes say “i am eating cookies.” In japanese, the te form plus “iru” is like “ing” on verbs. they are “doing” activity right now. i have NEVER seen the te form explained this way (and also the first time i see a reason why existence verb iru is present in those situations). i could only ever understand te form + kudasai means “X please” (maybe like the verb ending ais in french?). So seeing this explanation on how te form can form the “am doing” of verbs really is helpful. I see it SO much in japanese and always kept reading it as “verb te form” plus “exists” and going “wait what exists is the whole thing just a big descriptor clause of something existing in a room? i dont get how it connects??? is a cat in the room idk?). Also the video covered da/ta form, as past tense, and again it helped so much to see how the forms relate. When i first ‘learned’ them we only learned some verb endings per time (so not as one full unit), and overall i was just quite confused on when it was ta/da form or actually a different conjugation thing altogether.

So like. While in a way i don’t think the explanations are very different than any other material, i do think the way its presented is easier to grasp for me than some things i’ve seen. (Japanese in 30 Hours is an oldddd book but i also like how grammar is explained in that, especially adjectives).

#rant #april #japanese #april progress #cure dolly #japanese reference

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ourloveisforthelovely · 4 years

Text

Second Chance 5

Harry Potter AU

Pairing: Sirius Black x Reader

Link to Chapter 4

Rating: M- smut

________

After Remus and Tonks ushered Matilda and Harry out of the bar, Sirius went in search of the bottle of fire whiskey that Greyback had been holding. You, meanwhile, were still staring at the place that Matilda had been standing in. What was she honestly thinking about by going after that massive werewolf? If something happened to your daughter, you would never forgive yourself.

“Those two are going to be the death of us.”

Sirius’ voice pulled you from your thoughts. You turned in his direction as he downed a shot of whiskey.

You’re going to be the death of me too.

You thought.

“Yeah, they really have it in for us. Where did you go with Remus?”

Sirius’ eyes rolled up to meet yours. He knew that this was going to be an unpleasant conversation. You were not going to like his answer.

“I found out where Peter is hanging out. Malfoy Manor on Thursdays.”

“How did you find out?”

You asked, softly. Sirius winced.

“Before you go getting mad at me, know that I did it to find out the information…”

You held a hand up.

“Sirius, I don’t like conversations that start this way...especially from you.”

“I got the information from Sarah Meadowes.”

Sirius winced when the expression on your face darkened.

“Did she touch you?”

You knew all about what Sarah was up to now. Her career choice would make Dorcas roll over in her grave. Dorcas would die of shame knowing that her little sister was an exotic dancer.

“A little bit...it didn’t mean anything.”

Sirius’ nonchalant answer was 10 times more painful than if he had admitted it and begged for forgiveness. He stood behind the bar looking like it was no big deal. So what if he went to a strip club for some bitch, who wasn’t his lover, to rub all over him? It was no big deal and apparently, you shouldn’t be bothered by it...what a dream!

“It didn’t mean anything.”

Sirius shook his head.

“No. I didn’t get hard or anything. Now if it was you dressed like that rubbing all over me...you wouldn’t be able to walk straight.”

Your mouth dropped. What was he actually thinking? How did he even remotely think that you were going to be okay with this? Sure, he got info on Peter but at what cost?

“So why didn’t Remus go talk to her?”

You asked, trying to keep a grip on your temper. Sirius shrugged, still seeming clueless.

“Said something about Tonks getting mad at him...I wasn’t really listening.”

“Maybe you should worry about what your own girlfriend would have to say?”

Sirius’ head snapped up at that. Fuck, he knew that look. You were mad. Mad was probably putting things lightly.

“You’re my fiance not girlfriend. Big difference. I thought you trusted me.”

You shook your head before turning and storming toward the door.

“Fuck you.”

Before Sirius could get to you, you apperated from the room leaving him alone to piece together his wrongdoings.

Arriving back at Grimmauld Place, Sirius was trying to put together what his apology would consist of. Maybe he could make a case about how now you knew how he felt finding out that you were an auror or what would you do for information. Both didn’t sound too great and he decided to stay away from both of them.

The bedroom door was locked when Sirius tried to walk in. Matilda sat in the hallway hidden halfway by shadows.

“Mum doesn’t want to talk to you.”

Matilda said quietly. Sirius looked down at his daughter who looked grim.

“Yeah? Well, she is going to have to talk to me sometime.”

Matilda only scowled at him. She didn’t reply as she went back to the book that she was reading. The last thing that she wanted to admit was the fact that she heard what her parent’s latest argument was about. She wanted to tell her father that although his intentions were good; his handling of “getting information” was straight stupid.

“I see that you are mad at me too?”

Sirius questioned. Matilda only nodded.

“That was dumb...what you did.”

“How do you know?”

Sirius snapped, feeling suddenly annoyed. Had you gone and told the girl what happened?

“I could hear mummy crying to Uncle Remus. The two of you should know that you are both very loud and your voices carry.”

The expression on Matilda’s face reminded him eerily of the expression that Regulus would have whenever their own parents argued. Matilda was off in her own world and wanted nothing to do with anyone else.

“Tilley…”

Matilda stood up. She lightly knocked on the bedroom door to be let in.

“I don’t want to hear it. Things aren’t supposed to be this way. You are supposed to make mummy happy not make her cry. If all the two of you are going to do is argue then maybe you shouldn’t be together.”

She gave Sirius a final scowl as the door opened enough for her to slip in. The door closing left Sirius standing completely baffled.

Running a hand over his face, he felt worse than ever. Matilda shouldn’t be worrying about her parent’s problems and here she was doing it.

“That didn’t sound too good”

Sirius frowned in Remus’ direction. He wasn’t aware that his friend had heard the whole conversation.

“Yeah, I just got my ass handed to me by my 13-year-old.”

Remus rolled his eyes.

“I never told you to let Sarah give you a lapdance. I figured that the two of you would only talk.”

Sirius had enough of everyone in the house by this point.

“Lesson number 1, Remus, strippers don’t give you jack fucking shit for free.”

Sirius turned and stormed down the stairs without another word

An hour later, Matilda walked downstairs. She stopped the moment that she saw Sirius staring at the Black family tapestry with an expression of disgust on his face. After their argument a bit before, she was feeling a bit guilty.

Matilda didn’t have to look at the tapestry to know what Sirius was looking at...his blown off name. Walburga had at least added your name beside Sirius’ and below that put Matilda’s name.

“I think grandmama had a few screws loose.”

Matilda said, softly. Sirius didn’t move his eyes from the tapestry as Matilda’s arms wrapped around his waist. He absentmindedly stroked her hair with his free hand.

“That she did.”

Sirius replied. He had been trying to piece together what you did to gain enough favor in Walburga’s eyes to be added to the family tree. His best guess was having Matilda. He was thankful at the moment that Walburga had died. If the old bat was still alive to see her granddaughter sorted into Gryffindor; she would have probably blasted Matilda off of the tapestry for being too much like her father.

“Dad, I’m sorry about what I said.”

Sirius turned his attention back to his daughter.

“It's fine, Tilley. You come by that temper honestly. I need to talk to your mum.”

“Well, it's your lucky day because she wants to see you.”

Matilda said with a smirk before adding.

“Just don’t say anything dumb. She has calmed down.”

Matilda tried not to laugh at the surprised expression on Sirius’ face. She got the idea that he was still not used to a little girl that was brutally honest.

“I’ll keep that in mind, sugar.”

He said. Sirius was, in fact still, trying to get used to Matilda’s brutally honest personality. She was definitely the person to ask if you were curious whether or not an outfit made you look fat or not.

Sirius didn’t waste any time going back upstairs. The fact that you wanted to talk to him was enough to make Sirius rush to you.

“Close the door.”

You said as he stepped in. Sirius did as he was told before turning to face you. You sat dressed in a silk robe looking at him with that annoyed expression he knew so well. Sirius quickly put a silencing charm on the room. The last thing that he wanted was for Matilda and her eagle-like hearing to pick any of this up.

“Y/n, love, I promise nothing happened between Sarah and myself. You the only woman that I…”

You held up a hand silencing him with an icy expression.

“Sit down.”

Sirius quickly did as he was told and sat down in the vacant seat across from you. He had a feeling that you weren’t as quiet over his transgressions as once hoped.

“Do you want some whore to give you a lap dance?”

You asked, standing up. Sirius’ eyes widened as you undid the knot of the robe and let it fall. You stood dressed in only a black lace bustier that pushed your breasts higher. The expression on Sirius’ face was enough to let you know that you had him exactly where you wanted. He was putty in your capable little hands.

Sirius swallowed as his eyes fell down your body. The bustier was connected to thigh high stockings and a matching lace thong.

“Love…”

“Quiet.”

You said, sharply. Sirius gave you a shit-eating smirk. The outfit alone was enough to make Sirius do whatever you wanted.

“Come here.”

You shook your head. Sirius wasn’t in charge like normal. You were. You would be the one calling the shots and he was going to sit there like a good boy.

“I’m telling you what to do and I said to sit there and shut up. Be a good boy for once.”

You smirked as Sirius shut his mouth and looked at you as if pleading for one simple touch. His grey eyes had darkened as you plopped down on his lap. You gently pressed your breasts together as you reached out to unbutton the dress shirt that he was wearing halfway. His hands were squeezing the chair so hard his knuckles were turning white.

Sirius slowly reached up; desperate to touch you. If he could get just one touch in he knew that he could have you. Those blasted stockings were making him ache. Fuck, everything about the outfit was making him ache! Had he forgotten just how much he was a sucker for you in lingerie?

You quickly slapped his hands away. The surprised and offended expression on Sirius’ face was too amusing.

“I said no touching. Fuck up again and I’ll handcuff your hands behind your back and there won’t be any touching. You can sit there and watch me touch myself.”

Sirius was surprised by the comment. He had never heard those types of words leave your pretty little mouth...he liked it.

You stroked your finger down the center of his chest until you reached the point where his shirt was still tucked into his pants.

“Fuck, baby.”

Sirius groaned. You let the comment slip as you stood enough to spread his legs a bit. Straddling his right leg, you rocked your lower body against Sirius’s thigh.

Fucking damn, she ridding my thigh.

Sirius thought, trying to keep control of his own emotions. It was taking everything that he had not to pin you to the bed and have his way with you. Did you realize how much of a tease this was? He was beginning to become that needy mess that he used to be before the two of you became a couple.

You took Sirius’ hand and placed it on your lace-covered breast. His hand wrapped around the plump flesh basking in any chance he had to touch you.

“You’re killing me, love.”

Sirius said hoarsely. You gave him an innocent smile before reaching down and stroking his very prominent erection. Sirius bucked his hips into your hand.

“I see. You’ll be just fine though.”

You cooed, pressing tender kisses to his jawline. Sitting back up, you ran your fingers through his hair. Sirius groaned. Now you were really fucking with him. This little peep show was turning into one of the hottest things the two of you had done in a long time!

Grabbing a handful of Sirius’ hair, you yanked his head back for a rough kiss. He groaned against your lips enjoying the manhandling.

“I miss your long hair.”

“Come on princess, fuck me.”

He moaned against your mouth. You gave him a smile shaking your head. Instead, you slipped your breasts out of the bustier. Sirius’ eyes widened as he bit his bottom lip harder. If he could just get his mouth on you...

“Suck.”

You said in that authoritative tone that made his cock ache with need. Sirius didn’t have to be told twice to open his mouth and wrap his lips around your breast. His eyes closed as he took his time alternating between kissing, sucking, and nipping at your tender flesh.

“That feels so good.”

You sighed, relaxing that you were rocking your body against his again. Sirius smirked against your skin as his eyes fluttered open.

“Why don’t you get my cock out of my pants and make yourself feel even better?”

He suggested with a playful smirk.

“Soon.”

You said, patting his cheek. That wasn’t enough for Sirius. He needed something more physical than being allowed to play with your tits. You were letting him do that after a few weeks of dating. Sirius needed something more. Breast play was PG-13 to him. Sirius was ready for something with a XXX rating.

“Are you wet, baby?”

He asked, kissing your breast one more time.

“What do you think?”

You asked, coyly. Sirius leaned back in the chair taking on his cocky “Black” family scowl. You couldn’t help but think how sexy Sirius looked sitting there with his shirt unbuttoned with his hands at his side. His eyes were watching every move that you made with a hungry desperate expression.

“I think you should take those knickers off and let me have some time with your twat before I fuck you senseless.”

The exchange of power slowly began to shift as you obediently got off of Sirius’ lap and removed the lace thong. Sirius smiled, knowing that he was winning.

“Come here, baby. Let me taste you.”

You slowly stood up on the armchair that Sirius was sitting in. Sirius wrapped his hands around your waist and pulled you down on his face.

“Oh, Merlin”

You muttered as Sirius’ tongue licked over your clit. He lapped at you hungrily. Between drooling over your clit and fingering you painfully slow, Sirius worked on giving numerous love bites to your thighs.

“Sirius…”

You needed something to hold onto but there was nothing to grasp.

“That’s it, love. Say my name.”

He said with a devious smile and pressed his mouth back into your body. You remained in this position a moment longer before pulling away.

“I wasn’t done.”

Sirius said, coldly. The stubborn expression on his face reminded you of a four-year-old who had their blankie in the wash.

“You’ll like this.”

You said as he reached up and wiped your juices from his chin.

“I better. This whole thing has been a fucking tease. You’re lucky that I haven’t come in my pants.”

You gave him a grin as you reached down and unbuttoned his pants. Sirius quickly stood enough to push his pants down and move his dress shirt out of this way.

“There. I want what’s mine.”

He said. You did as asked and lowered yourself onto his throbbing erection. The two of you moaned at the wet heated pressure flowing through both of your bodies.

“Don’t move.”

You said. Sirius’ eyes snapped open. The poor man looked outraged. Just what were you expecting from him?

“I am fucking inside you and you don’t want me to move?”

You nodded, pulling him into another kiss. Sirius was annoyed but the kiss was enough to win him over. He tried to be good (he really did) but the pressure got the better of him.

Sirius wrapped his arms around you and carried you to the bed.

“Fucking take it. You’ve got me all hot and bothered. Time to get your prize. “ He put one leg over his shoulder while the other wrapped around his waist. You tried to keep your leg tightly around him. The last thing that you wanted was to lose the deep wet hold that Sirius had on you.

“Take it all.”

He growled focusing on keeping his entire length inside of you. Sirius could feel your body stretching more with each thrust and it was driving him crazy. He hadn ‘t even bothered getting the rest of the lingerie off of you. The thigh-high stockings and how your breasts bounced with each thrust was enough to keep him going.

“So fucking sexy.”

You, meanwhile, lay with your hands desperately grabbing at the sheets while trying to keep yourself from coming too early. In the beginning, you had all intentions of being the dominant one during this little romp, however, once Sirius took over you were fine with the power shift. You were happy to be his obedient little submissive if it kept your fiance plumbing you like this.

“Damn it, Y/n, you are going to have to come. I can’t keep waiting.”

You grinned, evilly. He wasn’t going to finish you off this quickly...or was he? With one touch to your clit, your body began to spasm. Two deep thrusts and circular motions to your clit was enough to have you coming apart as Sirius set up a near feverish pace.

“Fuck!”

Sirius gasped before filling you completely. He remained motionless for a moment. The feeling of full satisfaction was relieving.

“You know, if you want to throw me on a bed and do this again...I wouldn’t really complain.”

Sirius said with a smirk as he gently put your leg down on the bed in order to join you. You wrapped your arm around his chest in order to preserve any physical contact possible.

“I have always loved throwing you on the bed and having my way with you.”

Sirius lay with his eyes closed. He looked like he had won some super amazing reward.

“Maybe we need to invest in more lingerie?”

______

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#Harry Potter #Harry Potter AU #Sirius Black #Sirius Black x Reader #Remus Lupin #nymphadora tonks #tonks x remus #smut warning #peter pettigrew #malfoy fam #The Black family #walburga black #regulus black #ben barnes as sirius black #harry potter fan fiction #au story #harry potter reader insert #Second Chance #Second Chance update

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samanthalendo · 3 years

Text

Why I Almost Went To UT Austin; And Why I Didn’t

(As a preface: I will be speaking mainly in vague details about my personal life and the college I ended up choosing. This is for my own privacy and comfort. In addition, I am not bashing the UT system or anyone who choose to go there; I have loved ones going there very soon, and I have a lot admiration for the school and all the opportunities it can afford someone. However, these are the reasons I will not be attending and some reasons any school might miss out on students they might have otherwise garnered. As well, all photos are mine unless otherwise stated. Enjoy!)

Let me set the scene.

Choosing a college is hard. It’s freakin hard. It’s even more difficult in the middle of a global pandemic. You can’t actually go anywhere, can’t take tours or go to fairs or get a feel for the city you want to call home. I struggled a lot with really connecting to any of the schools I was interested in. Lots of apathy towards the whole process. Despite all this, I had one school I had been interested in since the end of sophomore year, and I thought that was the only place I wanted to go.

The University of Texas at Austin appealed to me for a few different reasons. In no particular order:

It was close to family.

I have tons, and I mean tons of family in Texas. This would have put me significantly closer to them and meant I had a support system when going to college. Making sure I would have a nice warm dinner and bath to escape to on crappy days seems pretty nice during global pandemics! Notably, however, it was not close to my immediate family.

It was in a big city.

Looking back I can laugh at myself and the idea I had for my college experience. At the time I was much more focused on the social and Instagramable side of the school I chose. Any time my parents suggested a school, the first thing I did was look for photos of it. If it didn’t have the feel I was looking for (young, new, hip, growing) I seldom looked further.

Austin was exactly what I was looking for. A city with a 32.4% growth rate in the last decade (1), it screamed new and exciting. I wanted to be apart of that vibe during college, especially when I thought my boyfriend and I would be going to the same place (we are still happily together and just going to different schools, btw). Anything less didn’t seem worth it or fun enough.

It’s a high ranking journalism school.

Rankings are subjective so it absolutely depends on where you look, but UT Austin consistently ranks within the top ten journalism schools in the nation, which is incredible. I’ve wanted to study journalism since about sophomore year and I was so excited that on top of the aforementioned attributes, this would be a reputable place to study and get a degree from. Truth be told, I didn’t do nearly any research into the actual programs, opportunities, or benefits UTA offered, #foreshadowing.

UTA was the first school I applied to, and as such it established my expectations for how applying to a big name school would work. Let me just say it, the application process sucked. I ended up writing two full-length essays, only one of which I used and extensively edited, and at least five different short answer paragraphs. I believe I also had to submit a resume when I applied for the Journalism Honors program, though that was additional. It was intense, and quite honestly didn’t seem worth it. Up until this point I was pretty much riding the wave of, “Yeah, UT Austin, that’s a school people will respond positively to when they ask where I’m going.” As aforementioned, I hadn’t done any in-depth research into what programs UT had to offer me, but from what little looking I had done, nothing was jumping out at me. With nothing spectacular being shown to me on a silver platter, enticing me to #golonghorns, the arduous application process felt taxing and stressful.

(A little side note on writing college essays: do not force yourself to write about something that doesn’t feel genuine to you. I don’t care if you think you have something that they’re bound to notice or admire; if you’re not passionate about it, you won’t get anywhere. As mentioned, I wrote two different essays when applying to UT. In my first essay, I wrote about leadership experiences in high school and how they shaped me. Important? Yes. Influential for me? Absolutely. But nothing I’m ready to rave about to anyone who walks through the door. That essay felt fake and artificial. I knew I didn’t like it or want it to represent me. So, I sat down and started writing about a situation that happened over the summer at my high school, one that really ground my gears. I couldn’t stop talking about how upset I was. I wrote all about the experience and how it made me want to be a better journalist and to always help to portray the truth. If anyone would like to know more about that story, let me know. The point is, I was passionate about the topic and it made it much easier to write believably. I didn’t just need this piece to represent me, I wanted it to represent me. I wanted the application readers to understand my frustration and feel all the emotions I felt in those moments. Pick something you feel that way about.)

I’m not going to BS and say that the application process will be fun if the school you’re applying to is the right one for you. All I’m saying is it should feel worth it, like all this hard work and effort is really going to culminate into your dream school. I definitely didn’t feel that with UTA, which was one of my first red flags. I felt very disconnected from the school, like I was just another fish in the pond of out of state applicants, hoping they’d like my bright colors over the next.

A little background: I am, for the purposes of Texas schools, an out-of-state applicant. I don’t have residency in TX and I didn’t go to a public high school in TX, and this contributes heavily to UTA admissions. I’ll link a great article going further in-depth on the admissions numbers and percentages, but due to the advantages granted to TX resident applicants, approximately only 9% of UTA students are out of state (2). That number is so low because TX students in the top 6% of their graduating class, no matter their test scores, are automatically accepted. This means that on top of great grades, out-of-state applicants for UTA have ACT scores that are between 3-5 points higher and SAT scores that are about 150 points higher than their average TX counterpart.

If you aren’t stressed out just reading that, teach me your ways because I was sure was.

This was sort of where the perceived animosity started between myself and UTA. I constantly checked my email and mailbox, hoping to get a letter or promotional email or something to indicate they were interested in me as a student. Seldom did they ever come. I got hundreds of emails from other schools and received nearly as much snail mail, but hardly ever from UT, even after I asked to receive their newsletters and an informational packet (which never came, BTW).

I quickly came to realize that all of this was likely due to the fact that I was so far away, out of the UT sphere of control or influence. Most of the emails I received were from schools in my neighboring states or in my state, closer with a higher likelihood of recruiting me. A school in TX, where I did not study or hold residency, would not seek me out.

Here’s my issue. They didn’t have to seek me out. That’s fine, whatever, makes sense. But I sought them out. I signed up for everything. I filled out their long application, sent it in early. I tried to tour the school in the throws of COVID, having to settle for a self-paced walk about an empty campus to satisfy my need to know more about this school, to learn more about what it could offer me. None of my efforts proved fruitful, and it didn’t feel like the school really wanted me there. I wondered whether this was really where I wanted to be.

By mid-November, while I wouldn’t have called myself discouraged, I would definitely have identified with the word antsy. When I sent in my application in September, they notified me that I would get my answer sometime in January or February. I can’t even explain how far away that felt. Especially being out of state, I wanted to know their decision as quickly as possible. The wait felt like an eternity.

My dad has always stressed the importance of not putting all your eggs in one basket. While I had shot my shot with UT and was waiting for the scoreboard to change, he was still exploring other options I had in the world of journalism schools. Without me knowing or really agreeing, he scheduled a tour with a school about two hours away from where we lived. It would be on a Saturday, just the two of us, and we’d make a day trip out of it. Honestly, I was more excited for the trip than the school itself. It had always been one I had turned my nose up at; to be fair, I did that with almost any school that wasn’t UT.

We were about five minutes late to the opening presentation at the school. Quickly shuffling into the only seats we saw, some in the very front row of the socially distanced conference hall, we settled in for a lot of new information coming our way. Though he had planned it, my dad didn’t know that much about the school either. We were both skeptical, a bit frazzled, and tired from having woken up around five o’clock that morning.

But with every slide, every question, every time the presenter opened her mouth, we were drawn further in.

It wasn’t just the feel of the school, or the location, or the looks. The facts didn’t lie. I won’t share too many so as to keep at least some privacy, but to say this school was my diamond in the rough wouldn’t be too much of an overstatement. Despite that, throughout the day and our two guided tours, I had a nagging feeling in the back of my mind, keeping me from getting too excited about this new school. I couldn’t help but think about UT and all of the emotional commitment I had already made to it. How excited my family was that I was hoping to go there, how happy my grandmother was that I would be closer to her. I thought of the teachers I had complained to about the long essays, the people who had edited those essays for me. I thought about the burnt orange hoodie sitting in my closet, towards the front due to how often I wore it.

The new school won over both my heart and my head. While I really felt at home there, I also would have to have been dead to overlook all of the opportunities it could afford me. I was close to my immediate family and the town I had gone to high school in. I could come home often, visit family and friends more frequently than if I moved states away. Everything seemed right.

In between our tours, due to the nagging I was feeling, I tried to schedule a tour with UTA, to at least give it a fighting chance. I figured, had I not had an in-person tour of this new school, I wouldn’t have given it a second thought. Maybe a real tour would make me fall in love with UT again. However, when I tried to schedule one, all of the tours for the rest of the semester were completely booked, and the calendar wasn’t yet available for the spring semester. I immediately called to find out more, only to be told that they weren’t sure the state of in-person tours upon return to campus after holidays due to COVID. Looking back, I know it was a sign. UT had, for all intents and purposes, closed its doors on me. It was time I accepted the willing arms of the school I gazed upon with wonder, truly in limbo as to what might happen next.

By the end of December, I was admitted and had committed to the new school. I wouldn’t find out about UT for another month, but honestly, I didn’t really need to. This new school had everything I could ever want, and UT had a fair amount of drawbacks. I didn’t and still don’t feel any remorse for committing without having known UT’s decision on me.

I received an email January 29th, over a month after having committed to the new school, that I needed to check my UT MyStatus page. I never really worried about getting in due to my test scores and grades, but I felt a level of anger towards the school that I thought I had gotten over, and finding out I had gotten in after all would bring up new emotions. I checked the page, and sure enough I had been admitted to the University of Texas at Austin’s class of 2025. I wasn’t elated or jumping up and down with joy or breaking down happy crying in my parent’s arms. I was pretty stoic, thinking about all that could have been had I felt any more like UT really wanted me.

(3)

All things happen for a reason. Because I didn’t feel much reciprocation in my love for UT, I instead found the school of my dreams, one that I know I’ll be much happier at. I wouldn’t change any of my decisions, except maybe stressing over the essays as much as I did.

My final thoughts would have to be this: I don’t blame the UT system for not focusing as much on its out-of-state applicants. I mean, I do, but I understand that it’s often simply not in their best interest. I do think that they should have reached out, sent more newsletters, have actually sent me the information packet I requested, anything to make me feel more connected with this place I was dying to call home. While I know they aren’t very focused on bringing in students from other states, I think they should be, especially for those that are going the extra mile to reach out to them.

The right school will have a lot of different things for every different person. For me, that meant being close to my immediate family, knowing I would have all of the opportunities I wanted, being financially secure, and feeling like the school wanted me, not just the other way around. UT didn’t provide me all of that. Finding the school that will is the most important thing. Your needs and wants may be different, but don’t toss all of your eggs in one basket. Don’t be afraid to change your mind and always keep looking for something better. For all you know, it may be out there.

(Thank you so much for reading! Links are below. This is just meant to be an opinion piece and is the first thing I’ve written for myself in a very long time. I hope you learned something and that this may be helpful on your college journey! Au revoir!)

1. https://www.austinchamber.com/economic-development/austin-profile/population/overview

2. https://magoosh.com/hs/college-admissions/ut-austin-admissions-the-sat-act-scores-and-gpa-you-need-to-get-in/

3. https://news.utexas.edu/2020/09/22/four-year-graduation-rate-tops-70-as-ut-austin-admits-one-of-its-largest-first-year-classes/

#ut austin #university of texas #texas #college #journalism #photography #uta #university of texas at austin #university #admissions #ut2025 #2025 #bell tower #writing #opinion #samanthalendo

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trashyswitch · 4 years

Text

The Ghosts of His Past

Part 2 to: Don't Release The Spirits! Link

William develops a relationship with the 5 ghost kids he originally killed. They spend time together, play games, and comfort each other when they're down. But another ghost comes out from the shadows, and immediately contradicts everything William had built up...

There is implied child murder, discussions about child murder, and implied suicide. If any of these topics bother you, you can either click off or read at your own risk.

It is still unknown whether a person’s soul lingers with their physical body. So far, the kids’ circumstance has proven it doesn’t. William had realized that despite the kids’ bodies being taken and properly dealt with for their funerals, their souls were no longer linked to their bodies long after being killed. The only body that still really existed within the Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria building, was William’s body. But that was only because his body was hidden too well for them to find. No one could tell that there was a body in that suit, unless they looked at the blood or actually opened the suit head. But William was a little nervous for that day to come. What if his soul was still linked to his body? And if so, then what would happen if he could feel the suit head being pulled off of him?! The thought terrified him.

It terrified him so much that he would spend some time just floating in the storage room, staring at the suit with blood surrounding it.

Today was one of those days where William would do this. He would just stare...stare until he couldn’t stare anymore. Soon, another ghost came floating through the door. “Hi William.” someone greeted.

William knew exactly who it was. “Hi Cassidy.” William replied. Cassidy was the only ghost that hasn’t called him Dad yet. She preferred to go by ‘Uncle William’ or ‘William’, depending on her mood during the day.

“Staring at your body again?” Cassidy asked. William gave her a slight nod. “Why? It’s just gonna make you feel worse.” Cassidy told him. “We didn’t spend hours looking at our bodies. Sure, we didn’t get to see them very much. But we didn’t dedicate time to stare at our bodies like you do.” Cassidy told him.

William sighed and rubbed his forehead. “I know.” William replied. “I know it’s just gonna make my thoughts whirl again. But...I’m nervous.” William admitted.

“Nervous you’re gonna feel your unconscious body’s pain?” Cassidy asked.

William looked at Cassidy and nodded.

Cassidy floated over to the body and dug her hand into the suit. William widened his eyes. “What- HEY! DON’T!” William shouted, before tensing up for the pain that was gonna hit him.

...But…

Nothing happened. William opened one eye and opened both when he realized Cassidy was still digging around. There was nothing. No pain. “...Wait…” William muttered, confused.

Cassidy removed her ghost hand and turned around. “See?” Cassidy revealed, showing her hands.

But...there was one tiny problem: her hands weren’t bloody.

“Why aren’t they bloody?” William asked. “And...If you’re a ghost, are you even able to interfere with my physical body?” William asked.

To further prove William wrong, Cassidy dug into the suit again and ripped out some wires and...Oh god...Was that-

William widened his eyes in horror and disgust. But...she was right. He wasn’t experiencing pain. “...Wow.” William reacted, looking down at himself. Nothing of his ghost body had changed.

“Now do you see?” Cassidy asked, throwing the mixed handful of guts aside. “No pain, no worries.” Cassidy replied. Even as she ridded her hand of the guts, her ghost hands were not covered in blood. Only the guts themselves were slightly bloody.

Cassidy floated to William. “Now come: You have a family to come home to.” Cassidy encouraged, grabbing his hand and floating through the door together.

Even though William’s body was still technically connected to the springtrap suit, William was still capable of moving away from the suit and onto the stage whenever he pleased. This stage became William and the kids’ shelter during their time spent in purgatory. So, that’s where they headed. William and Cassidy flew themselves through the stage curtains and observed the cute scenes within the stage: The kids had made 2 separate forts out of the worn out pair of torn red curtains that had been previously discarded in the storage room. They had multiple dining room chairs set up to keep the curtains up, and had half-deflated balloons as pillows for their forts. They had also hung up party banners as the fort curtain entrances, and used the leftover party hats to make their forts look more castle-like on the top.

“Sir Gabriel! The Mighty Men have broken our entrance walls!” Fritz told Susie.

“Oh no! I will start repairs right away!” Susie declared.

“But your Majesty! You’re the queen! How will you repair the walls if I’m fighting?” Fritz asked.

Cassidy smiled and grabbed the toolbox hammer. “Worry not, Soldier Fritz! I, The handy girl, is here to fix your walls!” Cassidy declared.

“Hallelujah!” Fritz declared.

Susie pouted. “I wanna fix the wall! Being a queen is boring. You can’t do anything!” Susie whined.

“You can help me, if you want to.” Cassidy offered. “I’ll let you hold the hammer too.” Cassidy offered.

Susie gasped and held her hands out for the hammer. Cassidy handed the hammer to her, and watched as the hammer weighed Susie right down to the ground. The hammer was just too heavy for her ghost hands to carry.

This ended up being a hilarious thing for William to watch: he let out a short laugh in reaction. Suddenly, Susie looked at William! “DAD’S BACK!” Susie shouted, throwing the hammer to the side and floating quickly to William. Cassidy yelped in surprise and tensed up for the hammer to hit her on the chest…

...Only for the hammer to float right through her body.

Cassidy opened her eyes and observed the hammer that was floating below her footless bottom. “...Oh.” She reacted. She had managed to forget she was a ghost and couldn’t actually get injured by physical objects.

William lifted Susie up and hugged her happily. “Hello Susie! Having fun?” William asked.

“Yes! We’re playing a game where a girl kingdom and a boy kingdom are fighting to take over the other!” Susie explained.

William giggled. “Yeah? Who’s winning so far?” He asked.

“THE BOYS!’ Jeremy yelled, sitting on the ‘throne’.

Fritz and Gabriel were doing a sword fight with wooden sticks and were being cheered on by Susie and Jeremy. It didn’t take long for the kids to throw their sticks back to their forts and for the kids to start wrestling.

“YES! SHOW FRITZ WHO’S BOSS!” Jeremy shouted.

“KICK HIM IN THE CROTCH, FRITZ!” Susie yelled.

“I CAN’T KICK HIM IN THE CROTCH! HE FEELS NO- EEK!” Fritz shouted to Susie, before being shoved to the ground by Gabriel.

“A-HA! I’ve GOT YOU NOW!” Gabriel declared.

“Not for long!” Fritz declared, before reaching her arm up to tickle him.

“Nope!” Gabriel declared, pushing her arm down. Fritz reached her other arm up. “Not happening!” Gabriel declared again, pushing her other arm down. But that didn’t stop the girl from leaning forward and blowing a raspberry on his neck! “BWAAAAHAHAHAHA!” Gabriel let go and floated away quickly. But Fritz was already up and chasing him! “WAIT! NO! FRITZ! STOP IT! EEEK!” Gabriel shouted amidst his quick ‘running’.

“Wow! For a person who’s part of the man side, you sure scream like a girl. Maybe you should join us!” Fritz suggested.

“NO! NEVER! I AM A BIG BOY!” Gabriel argued.

Fritz soon caught up to him and pinned him down. “About as big as a school desk.” Fritz replied with a smirk as she wiggled her fingers at him.

“Hey! That’s mean! I’m taller than a desk!” Gabriel argued.

“Fine. How about this: As big as a teacher’s desk?” Fritz offered.

Gabriel thought for a moment, and slowly nodded. “Okay. I can see tha- YAAAHAHAHAHA! EEEHEHEHEHEHE! FRIHIHIHIHITZ!” Gabriel shouted, laughing hysterically as Fritz drilled near his hips.

“Yes soldier?” Fritz replied.

“STAHAHAP TIHIHIHICKLIHIHING MEHEHEHEHE!” Gabriel begged.

“Do you accept defeat? Do the girls win this war?” Fritz asked.

“IHIHIHI…” Gabriel replied, not really sure what to do.

“DON’T GIVE UP, GABRIEL!” Jeremy called to him. “YOU CAN DO IT!”

“KEEP TICKLING HIM, FRITZ! GO FOR HIS NECK AGAIN!” Susie cheered on.

William was just giggling to himself as he watched the whole thing. If only the world wars had been fought like this...There would’ve been next to no bodies to clean up.

“OHOHOKAHAHAHAY! IHIHI GIHIHIHIVE UHUHUP! GIHIHIHIRLS WIHIHIHIN!” Gabriel finally gave up.

“Awwww…” Jeremy whined.

“YES! GIRLS WON! WE WON! GIRLS RULE! BOYS DROOL!” Susie shouted, standing up from her throne and jumping around.

William smirked and walked up behind her. “Now you be careful what you’re saying, Susie bear…” William warned with a hint of playfulness in his voice.

Susie’s cheering quickly paused as she realized who was behind her. Susie turned around and looked up to William. “...Oops.” Was all Susie said.

“Come here you!” William declared before picking her up. Susie let out giggles and quickly bursted out laughing as William lightly squeezed her lower ribs and skittered his fingers all over her belly. “Tickatickatickatickatickatick- atickatickatickatickatick!” William teased super quickly.

“EEEHEHEHEHEHAHAHAHAHA! DAHAHAHAD NOHOHOHOHO!” Susie laughed.

“Dad nooo? That’s cute. Looks like poor Susie should’ve thought about that before you said that boys drool.” William suggested.

“BOYS! THE TICKLE MONSTER HAS SUSIE! DOGGIE PIIIILLLLE!” Fritz shouted.

Suddenly, there was a war cry of 4 other kids floating up to him super quickly before kitty slapping him. Though it took Cassidy’s hand to get William onto the ground, the kids did manage to get William down so they could doggy pile him.

“Help! I’m being doggy piled! aaAAAAH! Hahahaha! Ahahand tihihickled! HAHAHAhahaha!” William fake yelled, quickly falling into giggles and laughter.

“TICKLE ATTACK!” Cassidy declared before tickling his ribs and sides.

William squealed and bursted out laughing almost immediately. The kids quickly joined in, tickling his armpits, his hips, his feet, and his neck. Fritz had started going for the abs as well, which ended up being the best choice she’s ever made. “HAHAHAHAHA! NOHOHO AHAHAHABS! NOHOHOHOHOHO AHAHAHAHABS!” William screamed.

“Oooh! A keypad!” Fritz declared. Fritz started poking and pressing roughly on the abs like a telephone keypad. “Beep beep beep, beep beep beep, beep beep beep beep!” Fritz teased. William threw his head back and bursted into cackles. Fritz made her hand into a phone symbol. “Hello? Oh HI! Is this the tickle monster?” Fritz teased, looking at William from the corner of her eye.

“STAHAHAHAP IHIHIHIT!” William begged.

“Perfect! He is here, and ripe for the tickling.” Fritz replied to the fake voice on the other line.

“COHOHOME OHOHON GUHUHUYS! IHIHIHI NEHEHEED AHA BREHEHEHEAK!” William begged.

Jeremy and Susie both bursted out laughing. “No you don’t! You’re a ghost just like us! You don’t need air!” Gabriel argued amidst his own laughing.

William looked at himself and realized: Yeah...he’s right. “BUHUHUHUT STIHIHIHILL! IHIHI’M GOHOHONNA GEHEHEHET YOHOU GUYS BAHAHAHACK!” William told them.

Susie giggled. “I know.” She replied.

Suddenly, Fritz started clawing and spidering her fingers all over William’s abs! “eeEEEEHEHEHEHEHE! HAHAHAHAHA! NOHOHOHO SPIHIHIDERIHIHIHIHIHING!” William pleaded.

“Is poor Papa afraid of spiders?” Fritz teased.

“AHAHAHA LIHIHIHITTLE.” William replied.

“Oh no!” Fritz reacted, looking at the other kids with a wink. “Guess we’d better get more spiders crawling around, then.” Fritz replied, wiggling her fingers like spiders to show the kids what to do.

William’s eyes widened in fear as he stared at the kids’ signalling. He knew EXACTLY what they were planning, and he knew he was gonna love it, AND hate it all at once. Suddenly, all 5 kids spidered their fingers all over William’s sides, belly, ribs, hips, armpits and neck. William was laughing and wiggling around absolutely everywhere! It was hilarious for the kids to see him wiggling around like a fish out of water, and even MORE hilarious watching him wave away the spiders that weren’t really spiders.

“Hmm? What’s going on?” a voice asked. The kids suddenly stopped their tickle attack and looked to their right:

There, rubbing their eye, was the ghost of a tiny girl with long brown hair, and a red wound on the right side of her right chest. The rest of the ghosts flew over to her.

“Hi Charlie!” Cassidy greeted.

“Sorry Charlie.” Susie immediately apologized.

William was still quite giggly from the tickle attack. He was holding himself in the fetal position and letting out the leftover giggles that were still in his lungs. He didn’t even realize there was another ghost on the stage.

Charlie smiled at the two forts. “I see you guys are having fun.” Charlie said to them.

“We were playing war kingdoms!” Jeremy declared.

“And the girls won!” Susie added.

Charlie giggled. “That’s great!” she said.

Soon, William finally calmed down enough to sit himself up. “Who’s he-” William paused his words when he realized just who he was looking at. She was completely familiar to him. He knew this ghost all to well. But...How did…

Charlie turned to look at William and widened her eyes as well. She backed up slightly gasped in fear. “Get behind me.” Charlie ordered the rest of the ghosts.

“It’s okay, Charlie. He’s-” Jeremy tried.

“Behind me. Now.” Charlie ordered again, glaring at Jeremy.

Jeremy, and the rest of the ghosts went behind Charlie before Charlie threw her arms out to the side to guard them from the murderer. “Uncle. William. Afton.” Charlie said slowly, her strong voice covering up the fear she felt. “Father to Elizabeth and Michael...Best friends with my Father...And Co-founder of Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza.” Charlie explained.

William snapped out of his thoughts. “I...Charlotte-”

“CHARLIE.” she shot back.

William backed up slightly in fear, and looked away for a moment. “Ch...Charlie.” He said, growing more and more afraid of her.

Charlie noticed this and lightened up her facial expression. “Afraid?” Charlie asked.

William nodded his head. “And confused. I killed you outside the building. Why would you cling to the building?” William asked.

“You think I had a choice?” Charlie asked. She looked at the music box and pointed to it. “My soul possessed one of your animatronics.” Charlie explained. “That kept my soul in the Pizzeria.” She explained. “These souls possessed your animatronics too.” Charlie explained.

She started pointing to the kids and stating which animatronic they became.

She pointed to Jeremy first. “Bonnie.” Charlie said.

She pointed to Gabriel. “Freddy Fazbear.” Charlie said.

She pointed to Susie. “Chica.” Charlie said.

She pointed to Fritz. “Foxy.” Charlie said.

She pointed to Cassidy. “Golden Freddy.” Charlie said.

And lastly, she pointed to herself. “Marionette.” Charlie said.

William’s eyes widened in horror.

Then, Charlie looked to the souls. “You guys were tickling him. Spending time with him. Treating him...like he didn’t end your lives.” Charlie reacted calmly.

William looked away.

Fritz stepped up. “He feels remorse for what he did.” Fritz told her. “He apologized for ending our lives. The reason why he did it was because he wanted his own family.” Fritz explained.

William tensed his face. Charlie frowned and looked at William. “You had your own family! What was wrong with the family you had?!” Charlie asked.

William looked away.

“And I still don’t understand why you killed me.” Charlie added.

Fritz’s eyes widened. “He killed you too?!” Fritz reacted.

“Yes. I was his first murder.” Charlie replied.

“...Oh.” Fritz replied.

“...Well, he’s dead now too.” Gabriel told her.

“How? And why here, surrounded by the ghosts of the children you killed?” Charlie asked.

William looked up a little, but still refused to look at her. “I springlocked myself.” He replied. “I triggered the springlock suit in the office, and...died.” William replied.

“Why?” Charlie asked. “Did you finally feel bad about all the crimes you committed? Did you feel like you couldn’t handle jail life?” Charlie asked.

William slightly smiled. “I ended my life because I had nothing else left to lose.” William replied. “My daughter is dead, my youngest is dead, and my wife is dead too. Michael is the only one living at this point. Living with the guilt of his family, and struggling to make his own life out of the rubble I left him in.” William explained.

Charlie lifted her eyebrows slightly. “And how in the world did all that occur? Hm?” Charlie asked.

William frowned and glared at her. “You don’t deserve to know.” William shot at her. “I want you to know that keeping your death nice and quick was a mercy move I purposefully made. Your murder could’ve been much more painful.” William told her.

Charlie’s eyes widened in surprise. Did...did he really just say that? “And how was a 3 year old supposed to know that the way you killed me, was ‘merciful’?! How would you feel if my father came up behind you with a knife and ended your life without a second thought?!” Charlie yelled.

William softened his expression a little and looked away. He knew Charlie would be hurt. He knew Charlie would be angry at him if they reunited. He knew this all along. But William didn’t know that Charlie had become one with the pizzeria. He never knew.

...Perhaps he should’ve...

#fluff and angst #ticklefic #switch!william #switch!children

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