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1nyourdr34ms · 2 months

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make you happy

+18, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

pairing: insecure bf mark x fem!reader

synopsis: mark becomes insecure about your sex life, so you decide to show him, how much you care for him.

warnings: giving him a blow job.

you and mark are the quintessential power couple - living proof that true love is no fairy tale. but sometimes you don't even realize how you managed to snag this man.

first, you were close friends at university and now after uni you've become lovebirds. he comes from a picture-book family, super elitist and with endless money, while you see your biggest flex as having put the uni scrap behind you.

sometimes you really wonder what he sees in you to call you his girlfriend, whereas he had the choice of so many super hot girls at uni who were also in his league and would be a better match for him.

even his brother, jisung and his cousin, jaemin are totally on your side and rave about your relationship with mark. it all feels like a dream.

in comparison, your family was more of a nightmare - with parents who are characterized by mental health issues and emotional immaturity. they were always very strict, controlling and afraid of losing you. but somehow you managed to convince them to let you move out of your parents house.

you wanted to stand on your own two feet, take life by the horns and grow up. plus, you wanted to spend more time with mark, which was quite difficult with your parents at home.

your parents had no idea about your thing with mark. you were not sure how they would see him, or what mark and his family would think of yours. it was clear to you that if your two worlds collided, it would probably be the end of your love.

so you kept the thing with mark under the radar. you thought that at some point the puzzle would fall into place and that would be the perfect moment to let the cat out of the bag.

of course, mark had wanted to meet your parents for a long time, but at first he couldn't understand why you were constantly trying to get him to let go of this intention. but he slowly started to get suspicious.

when it came to moving in to your first own apartment, mark, jisung and jaemin were there to lend a hand. after around 1.5 months, everything was in place, perfectly furnished, just as you had always imagined.

as a thank you, you invited mark, jisung, jaemin and minji to dinner. minji was your only best female friend since high school.

dinner took place in a cozy atmosphere. the tv is ran in the background, but no one really paid any attention to it.

jaemin couldn‘t hide his admiration for your cooking skills. his eyes lit up as he looked at the various dishes on the table and finally slid a large piece of homemade lasagna onto his plate. "it all looks so incredibly delicious, noona."

jisung, who watched jaemin out of the corner of his eye and couldn‘t help but smile. it was the familiar atmosphere that made him giddy. jisung's smile widened when he saw jaemin's indulgence and he leaned back, taking in the scene.

at the other end of the table, you were chatting animatedly with minji. you swapped stories from your university days, laughed about past misadventures and planned future adventures.

"do you remember that crazy trip to barcelona during the spring semester?" minji interjected, her eyes twinkled with amusement. "and how could you forget that guy you used to see… what was his name again? mingyu?"

your heart stopped for a moment. mingyu was a name that mark was completely unfamiliar with.

you glanced quickly at mark, who is drinking a glass of beer. his face remained unreadable, and he set his glass down without showing any movement that would indicate he was paying particular attention to your conversation.

"ah, mingyu…" you began cautiously, trying to hide your surprise and quickly change the subject. "that was nothing serious. let's just remember the good old days, shall we?“

minji nodded, perhaps realizing she's broached a touchy subject, and deftly steered the conversation in a safer direction.

you continued chatting, jumping from one topic to the next, but yours and marks thoughts were circling in the back of your minds around another topic.

as a matter of fact, your family wasn't the only thing you were hiding from him.

it was also mingyu. your former fuck buddy. you and Mingyu had met in high school and were immediately strongly attracted physically without any feelings for each other.

it was absolutely instinct-based. you learned a lot from him about sex. he was already much more experienced than you and whenever you were bored or horny, he was always ready for you on the other end of the phone.

the thing with him continued even after you met mark. but as soon as you became an official couple, you stopped seeing him.

unfortunately, mark didn't know about it and thought you were always an angel. in the sense that he was your first real relationship (which was actually true) and also the first man you had your first sexual experience with (well, that wasn't quite true after all).

you were unsure how he would react or which secret was worse for your relationship: that your family is mentally ill or that you used to have a fuck buddy?

after the others had left, mark stayed behind to help you with the washing up.

you stood next to each other in the cozy kitchen, which was still filled with the aroma of dinner. the soft lighting cast a warm glow on your faces, and the gentle splashing of water from the tap underscored the silence that spread between you.

mark handed you the last of the plates, you took them with a smile, dipped them in the dishwater and began to clean them carefully. the silence stretched on a moment too long and you felt mark clear his throat, a sign that something was on his mind.

"babe, when can i finally meet your parents?", his voice was soft, but you could detect a hint of uncertainty that caught you off guard.

your heart began to beat faster and you could feel your hands shaking in the dishwater. you tried to mask your excitement and focused on the plates as you frantically searched for an answer that would change the subject.

„you know, the weather's supposed to be lovely this weekend. maybe we could go on a trip, just the two of us?", your attempt to change the subject was obvious, you felt mark's eyes on you.

"are you all right?", his voice sounded more concerned now and you felt cornered, unable to avoid the direct confrontation. your mind was working at full speed as you searched for a plausible lie that would stop mark from asking any more questions about your parents.

"i… my parents are on a long trip at the moment", you lied, your voice shaking slightly. "they're very adventurous and often hard to reach. i don't want you to get a bad impression because they're not there to meet you", you hoped your words would convince him, avoiding looking him straight in his eyes.

mark seemed to hesitate for a moment, but suddenly you felt his arms wrap around you from behind and pull you into a warm embrace.

his kiss on your neck made you forget all your worries for a moment, so you leaned into his embrace.

but the peace didn't last long, because he broke the silence with a soft, almost innocent murmur, "and who is mingyu?"

this question hit you like a blow. your heart stopped for a moment. the warmth of his embrace suddenly felt suffocating as you struggled to catch your breath. your mind raced with thoughts of how to navigate this new turn of events without hurting ,ark or jeopardizing your relationship.

you pretended that his question did not upset you and tried to stay cool.

with a slightly forced smile, you turned slightly to him and asked, "how did you suddenly come up with that name?", your voice was light and casual, but inside you were seething.

mark continued to mumble into your neck as his eyes fixated on you doing the dishes.

"i heard you and minji talking earlier," he confessed quietly, "and you looked kind of uncomfortable with the name 'mingyu'. is he someone you should be uncomfortable around?", his words were gentle, but you sensed the meaning behind them.

you pondered for a moment as you turned off the water and slowly turned to face him.

your eyes search for an excuse, but the truth pushed itself inexorably to the forefront of your mind.

mark encouraged you with a gentle gesture. he placed his hand over your forehead and ran his fingers gently over your cheeks. "you can trust me, baby," he whispered, and there was a depth in his eyes that showed you he meant it.

despite your uncertainty, you let yourself be reassured by mark's assurance that he won't judge you or be angry with you if you tell him the true story. you asked for a promise.

deep down, you knew that this was the moment to open up, but the fear of losing him weighed heavily on your heart.

mark became uncomfortable as he sensed that what you have to say might be probably unpleasant. his jaw muscles tightened, but he nodded and said firmly, "i promise“,

with a deep breath that took more courage than you ever thought possible, you finally released the words you've kept hidden for so long.

"mingyu, he.. he was my… fuck buddy during college", you confessed softly, almost whispering, as if the softer mood might soften the harshness of your words.

every word was hard for you to say, as if you were destroying a piece of the image mark had of you.

mark's reaction could not be hidden. a shadow of shock and horror flit across his face, a sight that broke your heart.

the fear of looking him in the eye as you made your confession stopped you from seeking his gaze. instead, you focused your eyes on the wet tea towel in your hands, which you unconsciously twisted as if you could wring out your nervousness with it.

„it was before i met you," you continued, your voice shaking with every word. "i was young and… and i didn't really know what i wanted. mingyu was just… there. it was never emotional, always physical."

you felt the distance between you, though physically unchanged, became an unbridgeable gap emotionally. mark's silence was deafening. you didn't dare to reach for his hand.

in the oppressive silence that had spread between you, you almost didn't dare to speak, but the question escaped your lips like a whisper, "are you okay, mark?", your voice was so quiet that it was almost drowned out by the sound of the water still dripping slowly from the tap.

mark looked as if he was pulling himself back from a scene, as if his mind has been far away and needed to find his way back to reality. he blinked once or twice before turning his gaze to you, his eyes searching your face as if looking for an answer he couldn't find in your words.

"is that all?", his voice is calm, but there was a depth to it that left you confused.

your brows furrowed, confused by his question. "what do you mean?", your own voice sounded strange, as if you were speaking from a great distance.

mark took a deep breath, as if he needed to prepare for his next words. "was this dude all he was to you?", his question was direct and you sensed how important the answer was to him.

you nodded, the confirmation came quickly and without hesitation. "y-y-yes, he never meant anything more. i never loved him", you said emphatically, your voice stronger than before.

"you're my first real love, mark. i love you more than anything, and mingyu… he's just someone from my past", your words were honest, and you put all your feelings into each sentence, hoping he could see the truth in them.

mark looked down at the floor for a moment, as if he was weighing your words and considering what they meant to him. the silence stretched out, becoming another actor in this scene, charged with tension.

"are you angry?“, your voice was barely more than a breath, a mixture of fear and hope resonating in it.

mark forced a smile onto his lips, a faint sign of understanding, and shaked his head slowly.

"no, i'm not angry", he finally said, his voice firmer, as if he needed to convince himself of his words. "you said he is in the past. and your past won't change anything about my love for you", his words were like a balm for your torn soul, and you felt a weight fall from your shoulders.

touched by his generosity and understanding, you overcame the last distance between you and hug him tightly, „thank you“.

although mark assured you that evening that he wasn't angry and that everything was fine, you noticed a noticeable change in his behavior in the days that followed.

he seemed more distant than usual, his answers were short and his usually lively eyes often seemed absent.

it was the little things that you noticed: how he sometimes paused in the middle of a conversation, as if his thoughts took him to distant worlds, or how his smile, which used to be so warm and sincere, now carried a hint of melancholy.

one evening, when you had snuggled up together in your bedroom to watch a movie, you became particularly aware of mark's changed mood.

you two lay snuggled up close on your bed, the soft comforter wrapped around you, and the flickering light from the tv cast shimmering patterns on the wall. but despite the supposed closeness, you felt a distance between you that weighed heavier than ever before.

during the movie, you noticed that mark was barely paying attention to the action.

when you asked him a question about a scene, he didn't respond, his gaze fixed on the screen, but his thoughts seemed far away.

you felt his arm tight around you, his fingers occasionally tracing gentle patterns on your bare thigh or waist, but these touches, once so full of affection, now seemed mechanical and lacking the usual warmth.

in the middle of the movie, you pressed pause and suggested to take a short break. mark just nodded, his gaze still absent, and got up to go to the bathroom. his reaction left you puzzled.

you had hoped that he would take the opportunity to talk to you, perhaps even talk about his obvious inner turmoil. but he chose to escape into the solitude of the bathroom, leaving you alone with your worries and the oppressive silence of the room.

when Mark returned from the bathroom, he grabbed the remote control without hesitation, as if he just wanted to pick up where you left off.

but you were quicker, snatched the remote control from him in one swift movement and put it aside. mark looked at you in astonishment, obviously surprised by your decisive gesture.

"there's something wrong with you", you said, your voice firm and determined as you looked directly at him.

"you have to speak to me. now.", your words were clear and left no room for evasive maneuvers.

mark avoided your gaze, his shoulders slumped a little. "it's nothing, really," he tried to deflect, his voice flat, as if he wanted to end the conversation as quickly as possible and return to the apparent normality of movie night.

but you didn't let up. with a mischievous twinkle in your eye and a playful tone in your voice, you jokingly threatened him, "if you don't open up now, i'll ban you from kissing me for the next two weeks", your attempt to lighten the situation carried a serious message: that he could trust you and open up.

mark hesitated for a moment, seeming almost shy, before asking the question that had obviously been on his mind for a while. "are you… happy with me?", his voice was quiet, almost uncertain, as if he was afraid of the answer.

your confusion was obvious. why was he suddenly doubting your relationship?

"of course i am," you replied reflexively, but mark didn't let up.

"again, are you really happy with me? can i satisfy you?“, his questions now came more fluently, revealing the deeper insecurities that were tormenting him.

the atmosphere in the room had changed.

what had just been a cozy movie night had turned into a serious conversation. the soft comforter that enveloped you and the flickering light of the tv in the background created an intimate setting for this unexpectedly profound conversation.

your mind was racing. where did his sudden doubts come from? was it because of your past with mingyu?

mark's voice carried a seriousness that made you stop and really listen.

"i don't want you to feel like you're missing anything when you’re with me or that anything is falling short", he said with a candor that touched you.

"please tell me, if i can do anything better to keep you happy."

as you processed his words, you were still trying to understand why he suddenly felt that way. "of course i'm happy with everything in our relationship", you assured him, putting all your conviction into those words. "i'm overjoyed with you, mark."

but mark didn't let up, his uncertainty was still palpable. "are you sure? are you… satisfied with our… sex life?", the way he said 'sex life' made him seem almost vulnerable, as if this was the core of his insecurities.

your first reaction was to giggle - not in derision, but because the phrase was so unexpected and somehow sweet. how could he possible come to the conclusion that you would question it? it never once crossed your mind.

you moved closer to him, grabbed his face gently with both hands and looked him straight in the eye. "i'm more than pleased with our sex life", you said with a mixture of tenderness and emphasis. "you are everything i could wish for and more."

the intimacy of that moment, the closeness and the honesty in your words seemed to touch mark.

there was a sparkle in his eyes that you had missed for so long. the cool distance that had built up between you began to melt away.

with a gentle tug, you moved so that you were now sitting on his legs, your knees gently wrapped around his sides. your hands, still cupping his face, gently pulled him closer to you.

mark responded to your invitation, his hands wrapping around your waist, gently, yet with a determination that betrayed his longing for closeness.

your first kiss that night washesitant. but with each subsequent kiss, which beame deeper and more passionate, the last trace of doubt dissolved.

a whimper escaped your lips as you felt his hand on the back of your knee, pulling you closer to him.

his other hand wrapped around your jaw, tilting your head and deepening the kiss.

your lips moved towards each other as your breathing quickend. your whole body was electrified.

mark pulled you even closer to him. you gasped as you could clearly feel how hard he had become beneath you.

you moaned softly as his lips moved sensually on yours and his mouth penetrated yours.

you've been playing with his hair the whole time, playing and pulling, now you ran your hands over his chest and even deeper until you were stroking his hard member.

mark let out a soft whimper.

you continued to stroke his member while he leaned his head back against the edge of the bed, breaking the kiss.

he looked so hot at this moment. the veins on his neck made him look so sexy everytime when he breathed out or swallowed, that you wanted to see more. you wanted to make him happy first.

"let me spoil you now, baby", you whispered in his ear.

then you reached for the hem of his pant, but before you could pull them down, you felt mark's hand on yours. "are you sure?", he asked with a shaky voice and innocent eyes.

you knew he was going for it. mark always liked it when you sucked his cock. you knew that he was just asking you out of politeness since it was in his nature.

you smiled and grabbed the hem of his jogging bottoms tighter without hesitation and pulled it down.

his member was literally crying out to be freed from his boxer shorts.

so you released his hard, pulsating cock from his boxers.

you bend down and gave him a little kiss on the tip before licking him from bottom to top.

you took his cock in your mouth and started bobbing your head up and down.

mark couldn't help but moan while he closed his eyes, his head still leaning on the edge of the bed.

"baby… this is… crazy…. fucking…", he moaned.

you moaned too as his cock rubbed against the inside of your mouth, filling it perfectly.

"yees… you're driving me crazy… you feel so… so… good…", he groaned.

your room was filled with your moans and the wet sound you made as you sucked mark's cock.

suddenly, mark started thrusting into your mouth.

he kept thrusting, touching the back of your throat.

"ahh… damn… i'm c-… close, y/n…. you can stop now…if you….if…", he murmured.

you shook your head as you groaned. you knew he didn't want you to stop.

he thrusted deeper until his tip touched the back of your throat.

your right hand lightly massaged his balls as your tongue was swirled around his cock.

"shit…. shit…", he cursed as you slowed down a little.

then you kept going as fast as you could while your mouth became sore from sliding his cock in and out of your mouth.

you could feel mark tensing up in your mouth just a few seconds before he came in your mouth.

after emptying all his seed down your throat, he pulled out. "you're amazing, babe…", he said while he rolled his eyes back and smiled lazily.

the room was filled with both of your breathless gasps.

you swallowed his cum and licked your lips.

"was that satisfying?", you asked.

mark chuckled, still trying to catch his breath as he watched at you.

"come here.", he held out his arm. you crawled to his side as he pulled you into his arms.

"man, this is going to be a long night", he said. you raised your eyebrows. "why?" you asked, puzzled.

"because i'll do anything to fucking satisfy you twice as much what you did to me", and with that, he pulled you in for another kiss.

it was so ridiculous of you to think that mark would leave you because of your past. after he was so understanding about your past habit, you thought that maybe it wouldn't be so wrong to introduce him to your family.

that night, mark gave you the best sex of your life. it was a moment in which the emotional closeness and mutual understanding you felt for each other was expressed in a physical union that further strengthened your relationship and made you feel truly one.

#nct #nct mark #mark lee #mark lee imagine #mark lee x reader #mark lee x you #nct mark x you #mark lee imagines #nct dream #nct 127 #nct u #nct fics #nct mark smut #mark lee smut #mark lee x y/n #nct mark y/n #kpop #kpop smut

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atinystraynstay · 2 months

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One Day At A Time - Choi San

Synopsis: Work is a major source of anxiety for you. You try your best to leave the stressors of your job at work, but sometimes, the little voices in your head get louder the moment you walk in the front door. Luckily for you, your boyfriend San is there to rid of every worry you might have.

Pairing: Idol!Choi San x Teacher!Reader

Genre: established relationship, fluffy comfort

Warnings: contains descriptions of anxiety.

Always remember to take care of yourself, whether you have anxiety or experience any other type of mental health decline. You are stronger than your toughest days. My DMs are always open if you need to talk/vent!

Word Count: 1.7k

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Your shoulders were slumped as you trudged up the steps to your apartment. All you wanted to do was curl up underneath the covers of your bed and hide from the rest of the world.

This was an ongoing feeling when you came home from your job. Often, you give all your energy in the classroom so it is easy to disassociate because of the low energy level you had once you exited the classroom. You would give your 100% to your students.

Today, you began to question if it was worth it. Not when your principal viewed you as falling short of expectations. You always found yourself working on lesson plans, on PowerPoints, and on other deliverables. All you wanted was to give your students everything but it still seemed like it wasn't enough.

Slowly, you slipped your shoes off by the door and placed your pink backpack on the floor. Not even shrugging off your jacket made the weight you feel lighter.

"Baby? Are you home?"

Your heart fluttered at the sound of your boyfriend. San. Your wonderful, amazing San. He was the ideal boyfriend, almost too perfect. He was there to let you rehearse lesson plans with you, letting you practice your delivery over and over again. You always heard the first year of teaching was the hardest, but this felt impossible. Yet, San was not going to let you give up on your craft.

He was constantly cheering you on. When you came home tired from a long day at work, he was there with a glass of wine ready to help you decompress. Often, he slipped little notes of encouragement either in your backpack or in the lunch. It was as if he knew those notes were your encouragement to get through the hard days.

When you decided to become a teacher, you thought that your toughest obstacle would be connecting with your students and handling uncomfortable parent-teacher conversations. What you didn't consider was having passive-aggressive school leadership that made it difficult to approach.

Honestly, most of your anxiety from your principal. Every single time you saw her, you felt your chest tighten. She was just unpredictable. You felt like you were walking on egg shells around her.

"Yeah, it's me," you called out.

Immediately, footsteps began to descend from the bedroom into the main part of the apartment. His footsteps sounded urgent as the padding of his feet hit the wooden floor.

All you could do was stand there. You didn't like being this type of person, not when San dropped everything for you. There was a part of you deep down that felt guilty because you know how crazy his schedule is. Yet, he still makes sure you know and never doubt not only his intentions with you but that he was constantly going to be here for you.

His heart broke at the sight. You looked so defeated, so burnt out. San knew your passion for education and making a difference. It was one of the reasons why San fell for you.

Yet, what he didn't like was that his angel was clearly upset.

"Bad day?" "The worst day."

If only he could absorb all your sadness. Honestly, he adored watching you on the day-to-day prepping for your students. You genuinely enjoyed that aspect of the job, learning the material and discovering the best methods of presenting it to your students. He always saw the passion and drive you held.

It was like you were center stage when you stood in front of the TV in the living room and presented the lesson to him as if he was one of your students.

Yet, right now, it looked like you were completely drained. And hated that.

Words didn't need to be exchanged. He knew what you needed, especially as you stood in front of him with tears in your eyes. The moment he saw a few were threatening to fall, he jumped into action.

His arms wrapped around you, holding you close. One of your favorite things about San was his hugs. It was as if he tried to squeeze all the sadness out of you. He made sure to keep one arm wrapped around you, so his fingertips could run up and down your spine. Your head nuzzled into his shoulders where your tears immediately began to soak the black t-shirt he had slipped on.

"I've got you. You can let it out. Whatever you need, sweet girl. I'm ready to give it all to you," he murmured to you.

Tiny kisses to your head were placed. His free hand moved to let the hair fall from the scrunch that had your hair pulled back into a low bun. He slipped the scrunch around his own wrist, ready for duty if needed. However, he knew one of the things you looked forward to doing when you stepped through the door was letting your hair down.

And it worked almost every time. Tonight, you needed something a bit extra.

"It was awful," you murmured into his clothed shoulder.

San knew immediately what you were talking about. You've been anxious over the past week and a half about your mid-year review at work. The anxiety only got worse when you received the Google Calendar invite.

Nothing could have prepared you for the shit show you walked into. It seemed as if everything that could have gone wrong did go wrong. And San hated knowing all the hard work you put in was not getting acknowledged. You've been warned about coworkers how the first mid-year review tends to go. She tends to lean in hard, almost showing no remorse.

It felt like you had gone to a squaring match with a grizzly bear with no protection. You felt like you were beaten down to a pulp.

"What can I do for you?"

Once again, San proved that he was the best guy. Even after a long day of rehearsals for Coachella next month, he was in boyfriend mode. You tried your best to pour just as much love as possible back into him. Often, you wonder what you did to get so lucky to get such a considerate guy.

Not to mention he was attractive. He was honestly a dream come true. But to San, he was the one living the dream come true. You were his world, his princess. He would move mountains for you if you asked. You pulled your head back, so he could hear you better. "Just be here. Please. I don't want to talk about it."

That's all San needed to hear. With ease, he lifted you up and kept his hands underneath you to support you. Your arms wrapped around San's neck with your fingers running through the hair at the back of his head. This was what you always did as a comfort, and it also benefitted San because he loved the feeling of your hands on him.

He walked the two of you over to the couch. He knew in the moments you got emotional, you either wanted to be close like this or sprawl out. The couch offered the opportunity to switch if you desired, or he would be willing to carry you to your shared bedroom. You had San wrapped around your finger, but you didn't even know.

Everyone always commented on how he looked at you. His gaze always got compared to a Disney prince. You never doubted his love for you, but you almost couldn't believe it. San has never been happier, even when his members might tease him a bit about being whipped.

San had got himself situated on the couch. His hands left from beneath you to wrap fully around you. His arms pulled you in close, which caused you to sigh in relief. Both to be wrapped up in his arms but also feel his body heat against your body. The sigh was a good sign that you were on the road to recovery from your harsh day.

"You are such a hard worker, doll," he whispered into your ear. He kissed your cheek lingeringly. Your eyes fluttered shut to just soak in the moment of being this close with him.

"Watching everything you've done for your kids, your classroom, your school community. They are foolish for not recognizing what an outstanding teacher you are. But I see it, your coworkers see it. Your kiddos are so lucky to have such a caring, amazing teacher as you."

You sniffled as the tears began to fall again. The ache in your soul was being replaced with the love San had for you. Your heart was swelling with the amount of gratitude and love you had for him.

He was convinced each day that he fell harder in love with you. Everything he did was to make you happy in this shared life together.

"I don't wanna go back there," you sighed. "Just want to stay in your arms. You don't think the guys would mind?"

There's the woman he knew well. San wasn't afraid to conquer the hard days with you. He adored experiencing life with you. Yet, he never liked seeing you upset. When you were joking around, that was the woman he knew. You were starting to feel better, and he took pride that he was responsible for that.

"No, the guys won't mind. They know you're my everything. Do you think you can learn the choreography quick enough though?" "You know, I wanted to be a professional dancer when I was little."

His eyes widened slightly and a smile was on his lips. Even with your slightly puffy eyes and your red, runny nose, - he still viewed you as the most gorgeous woman in the world. And you were all his.

"Full of surprises, y/n. Always keeping me on my toes." "Me? What about you? You come home from a hard day of dancing, of probably jumping," you giggled.

He also shared that laughter with you. San definitely had gained quite the reputation for his wild dance moves and impressive but dangerous jumping ability. Hey, whatever happened in the KQ practice room, stays in the KQ practice room.

"But regardless. You always show up as the man I need, the partner I need." "It's not a surprise, pretty girl. You're mine and I'm yours. You allow me to live out my dreams and I'm here to support you in your dreams. I will do whatever it takes to make you smile and ensure your happiness."

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Selfishly wrote this for myself hahaha I had my mid-year review and let's just say, it was not the best 😅

But it's ok! I quit my job and have a new BETTER job starting this weekend.

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especiallythewomenandthechildren · 5 months

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As If Destiny (part five) 🌹

Part Four🌹

Warnings: Terminal illness, parent death, death and brutality (it is the hunger games after all) characters may be ooc. I read the book a while ago but don't really remember much of Snows way of thinking (I mean I know its toxic and insane but yk the other things) so I will mostly be basing off the film and my own thoughts. Also I can't spell for the life of me so be prepared for bad spelling and grammar. Enjoy loves!

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"I do hope you know that if we are even a minute late, I will be serving detention for the rest of the year."

The slightly anxious tone of Coryo's voice broke you out of your memorized state. You both were in a rush out of his penthouse and you weren't sure how long it would take to get to the academy, but against your best intentions, you had to stop for the flowers.

Something about their white petals and fresh arouma just sucked you in.

With a reluctant sigh, you forced your legs to move.

"But you are the perfect student. You've never been late and every member of the staff loves you."

It was true. There didn't seem to be a single person in the Capital who wasn't charmed with Coriolanus Snow.

But he just shook his head, shifting his eyes forward and quickly pressing the button to allow for pedestrians cross the intersection.

"Everyone but Dean Highbottom."

Oh yes.

He was unfortunately right.

That was indeed the one person who seemed to despise Coryo.

And for seemingly no reason. He always seemed to be able to chide or insult the boy whenever given the chance.

When the signal lit up, the boy in question took your hand to follow him across the street.

"You know, I remember once Highbottom saw us talking after I gave you back your book for Satryia's class. After we parted ways, he pulled me aside and told me to stay away from you. Something about how it didn't end well the first time. Do you have any idea what he was talking about?"

Still holding your hand, even being far from the dangers of the intersection, the boy turns his head to you. His eyes showed just as much confusion as yours did but with a hint of anger.

Dean Highbottom didn't have to like him but who is he to warn you to stay away from him? And what does he mean the first time?

The conversation seemed to trail off there but neither of you minded. You didn't come to this part of the Capital very often so you were lost in fascination and wonder. The city was being rebuilt all around you and you couldn't help but feel giddy.

Coriolanus was lost in watching your reactions. He was feeling a sense of pride to know that he was the one who opened this side of the Capital for you. Not to mention the reason you got some proper sleep.

He was thinking back on your conversation when he nudged your nearby shoulder with his. You looked back to see the tall boy with a little smirk on his lips. You couldn't help but laugh and question the movement.

"Nothing, it's just nice to know you remembered the book."

The comment made a pink tint appear on your cheeks, now very visible in the morning light.

"Of course I remember! I'm sure Satryia would have had my head! You were my knight in shining armor."

Then it was your turn to nudge him back. His pride swelled even more at the memory. To know that he was able to give you something that you not only wanted but needed. Even if it was just a lousy textbook.

It made him feel accomplished.

Within a few strides, the magnificent structure of the Academy came into view and it somehow even looked more beautiful than usual to you.

Everything did after last night.

"Oh! I forgot to give you this!"

He let go of your still clasped hands and grabbed something from his bag. You were surprised by Coryo's confession but even more suprized by the radiant flower in his hand. You couldn't help but gasp at the gesture. You looked up at him with your beautiful eyes, shining up at him with wonder and gratitude. He smiled down at you, heart swelling.

"You seemed so mesmerized so I thought you would like one of your own."

You took the flower gently and thanked him with the most beautiful smile he has ever received.

He was already scheming of ways to see it more often.

"Could you put in my hair?"

Then you were blessed with the most beautiful smile you've seen. He happily agreed and put it in the back of your hair, in the hair tie of your half up, half down style.

Something you've never worn before to the academy but something Coryo reassured you looked good.

Once assured the flower wouldn't fall, the tall boy stepped out from behind you with a satisfied smile.

"You know one of these days I'll show you Grandma'am's rose garden. Maybe even get you a bouquet."

He knew the day when he would be able to bring you full bouquets of her precious roses is far away. But maybe after he won the Plinth Prize, he would get his Grandma'am chocolate, Tigris a new dress, and packets of rose seeds.

Enough so everyday he could give you a fresh flower that you would cherish.

His wishful thinking nearly made him miss your response.

"I think I would fall right then and there if you did Coryo."

You looked at him as you confessed but quickly looker away, feeling the heat rise in your cheeks. Heat that only grew more intense as Coriolanus's stare did the same.

He didn't know if you meant you would fall is in pass out or fall as in... well fall. for him.

oh as if he needed anymore motivation to win the coveted Plinth Prize.

Since you never come from this direction, you can't see the usual spot Sejanus would be sitting at when waited for you. Was he getting worried? Your eyes scan the area but couldn't seem to find the brunette anywhere.

But, for better or worse, you found your quite eccentric group of friends.

"Coryo! Y/N!" Clemensia's voice carried through the morning air as you both marched up the stairs.

You both greeted her as well as Arachne, Festus, and Felix upon your arrival. They all seemed happy to see you two (especially you as you are often strolling with Sejanus). But Arachne seemed to be looking you both up and down with a mischievous smirk playing on her colored lips. Nothing new but unnerving nevertheless.

"Y/N, don't you live on the west side of the city? You always come and leave in that direction."

She looked as if she had caught a lamb for the slaughter. You actually did really like her but the girl has so many problems.

Coriolanus had his mask plastered on again but inside he was beginning to panic. He probably could've made a lie on the spot, a skill he has mastered over the years, but he was worried about your reaction.

You were a genuine person and he feared that his lie would be completely exposed on your face. But it seemed he was wrong. Instead of freezing up you laughed at Arachne's comment.

"It's beautiful weather this morning and felt in the mood to take a walk around the city. I just happened to meet up with Coryo at the entrance to campus."

To say the mentioned boy was surprised and relieved would have been an understatement. Not only did you cover up the actual events, you made sure not to let it slip that he walks to the Academy. The illusion that he has a driver like the rest of your peers was still held. Festus then seemed to perk up.

"I still don't understand why in the world you would decide to walk somewhere. We have drivers for a reason."

The others nodded in agreement and you couldn't but help sigh. You have known your friends since as long as you could remember. You have seen them grow up (or the lack there of).

They are still the small scared children who had to burn their picture books for warmth in the Dark Days. They may have physically aged, but you know they never really grew up. Your peers simply hid their fears and insecurities behind their wealth and luxury.

Anything outside of the opulence that surrounded them brought fear and as a result, a great distaste.

That's why Sejanus was so disliked. He was too much of an irregularity. Too other.

As he drifted to your mind, your eyes drifted to the other side of the stairs, shifting your neck to try to get a better view.

"Don't worry, your little side kick is coming up."

Felix let you know with a nod of his head over your shoulder, making you turn around and spotting Sejanus looking confused at you. You smiled in invitation and he began taking a cautious walk up the vast stairs.

Arachne couldn't help but scoff.

"Wonder what little district boy would do without his precious y/n to hold his hand wherever he goes."

Your mouth opened to shoot back a response when Sejanus gave one of his own.

"Maybe you will see where it would hit if it wasn't being held."

He even gave a mocking smile to go with it.

And this is why your two friend groups are separate.

Before any teeth could be knocked out or venom spit, you were quick to grab his arm and pull him away. You look over your shoulder with a rushed and apologetic farewell to the group.

But your eyes met those ever shining blue orbs and gave a private smile. A smile he couldn't help but return.

"What are you smiling at Snow?"

Festus croked. He had frankly forgotten his friends around him, way too lost on your retreating form.

"Well that was entertaining if I must say." He covered up his slip.

The look on Arachne's face begged to differ.

But reassurance came in Clemensia's laugh, followed by Felix.

"I would actually like to see what would happen with you and Plinth in a room with no y/n to mediate Crane." Felix seemed quite entertained with the thought.

The girl just rolled her eyes and began her march into the building, clear irritation radiating off of her.

The rest of the group followed suit and walked into the posh institution.

"Feel bad for whoever unfortunately walks infront of her path" Festus quips, much to the enjoyment and humor of his friends.

The same feeling could not be said for Sejanus.

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"So how worried should I be?" Sejanus's warm brown eyes bore into yours. You crooked your head to its side in confusion.

"Care to explain Sej?"

"I think I'm the one who needs an explanation y/n. You never came to our spot and you were instead with them."

He spit out the word as if it was acid.

"Not to mention the fact that we got a call from your father thanking us for letting you stay with us last night. Would you care to enlighten me how I either missed your presence the entire night, morning, and ride here or where you actually were."

His tone was harsh but you knew it came from a place of worry. He knew of your sleepless habits and to be informed that you were supposed to be with him but weren't must have been horrifying.

You weren't sure if you should tell him the whole truth about staying with Coriolanus. So you tell him the same thing you told Rhayes, your driver, last night.

"I was with a friend. I'm sorry I worried you Sejanus. I had no idea he called you and made you worry."

He looked at you with a puzzled and slight irritated expression.

"What friend y/n? And if you couldn't stay at your house, you know our door is always open."

You weren't exactly sure why he was so upset at the situation but you felt he deserved some semblance of an answer.

"You guys do enough for me as it is. No- stop don't even try to argue with me on this. Can - can we just drop this?" You sighed, clearly not wanting to continue on this topic.

Sejanus looked the exact opposite, wanting to flesh out every detail. But he noticed your discomfort and let the conversation end there.

You both had been walking around the halls, him not really realizing the path you were taking untill you came to a stop and began looking through your bag.

The kind boy, for what seemed the first time that morning, took in your appearance.

"You look well rested. Back to life." He says it astonished. You couldn't help but roll your eyes.

"I know! Weird seeing me look like an actual person instead of zombie." You were expecting a witty remark back but you were met with another amazed observation.

"You kept your hair down. And look it has a flower!"

You laughed at his behavior and found your mass pile of somehow pristine papers. You flipped through the pages with apprehension at your work.

"And you finished your paper! What happened to you last night?!"

He just seemed to keep on getting more and more lost. Your smile grew in amusement of his reaction and you both walked into class. Sejanus made his way up to your elevated section of desks while you made your way to your Professor.

Professor Rhaen was a tall and lengthy man who seems more aged than any person of his middle age should be. His pale skin seemed sickly and was scattered with small marks and freckles.

He was bent over his desk, deep into a thick book. You cleared your throat and his eyes snapped up to your slightly timid figure.

"Good morning Professor. I understand that you gave us an extended amount of time for our paper to ensure we properly research. But I fear I got too carried away and seemed to have finished a bit early."

You held up your own thick stack of papers with a humble smile. The man didn't take your papers right away, leaving your hand hanging while he was analyzing.

After a few painfully akward moments, he finally took the stack from your hands. You were going to make your way to seat before he motioned for you to wait.

He was scanning through as you just stood there, in the front of the room and felt quite small. You looked up towards the direction of your desk and saw Sejanus give you a smile and a thumbs up in encouragement.

You smiled back, with a little more reassurance and turned to your professor who seemed to be very focused. The sounds of your classmates coming in was heard as their gazes were felt.

Forever seemed to pass before Professor Rhaen gave you the go ahead to sit down. You gave a giddy sigh of relief before you were stopped by his voice.

"Y/n!" You turned slowly and slightly reluctantly. "

From what I've seen so far, I think I will be nothing less than impressed."

What.

Professor Rhaen does not give compliments. You felt over the moon but gave a polite nod and rushed to your desk.

You didn't realize that Coriolanus and the others had made it to class until you reached the area of your desk. You had to squeeze past the blonde boy and as soon as you sat down, you had to turn behind you.

"Wait you already finished your paper?"

Clemmies pretty face was contorted in baffelment. You just smiled and shrugged. The scoffs of impresment (and intimidation) of Felix, Festus, and Arachne were quite audible even as you turned around.

Sejanus took in your interaction and noticed how neither Clemensia nor Arachne knew of your progress. Something they clearly would have if you stayed at their penthouses last night.

But what was even more puzzling was your shared look with Coriolanus who seemed to have a bit of a smug and proud smile on his face.

Like he knew.

Any questions were caught off by the scratchy voice of the professor. His lecture was not necessarily interesting, but today for the first time in a long time, you were able to be fully focused.

You followed every word and participated whenever you could. You were so engaged with the lesson that you barely realized the pen that landed by your shoes.

Grabbing it in a swift motion, you looked up to see Coriolanus with a smug smirk.

Oh that little-

"See what happens when you get a proper sleep." He teased you, slightly crouched, mirroring your position.

You gave a soft scoff at his comment which only made his expression grow.

"A night of good rest, a compliment from Rhaen, and an intimated Arachne? You're on fire y/n." He whispered.

"Trying to suck up to the new favorite student Snow?" You teased back.

The close proximity of your position allowing for the heat of your breath to be felt on the boys cheeks.

That's the reason for the red on it right?

His devious smirk only expanded, showing a few of his perfect and pearly white teeth. He opened his mouth to fire back his own witty response before he was cut off by a clearly displeased Dean Casca Highbottom.

"Miss Vaun and Mr. Snow."

It seemed that even having the two of your names in the same sentence drained him off all his energy.

"Why am I not surprised. Well whatever it is that you two were discussing, I hope it was more important than your professor's lecture."

The embarrassment of the public scolding and the silence of the room was suffocating.

And he knew it.

He seemed to relish in your discomfort and Coriolanus's annoyance.

His eyes seemed to be coated with a fog as he was lost to his mind and whatever he was thinking. The realization of reality and his intention of the interruption seemed to bring him back to reality.

"Please pack up your things Miss y/n. It is urgent."

Your reaction to his words was panic.

Absolute panic.

Emotion you had to swallow, even as your breathing accelerated. You were shaking as you basically threw your material in your bag, with no care of the impact.

Dean Highbottom had already left the room and was waiting in the hallway by the time you met up with him. You felt nauseous and walked on heavy feet.

Coriolanus could see the unsteady steps you took and wanted nothing more than steady you.

But he could do nothing.

And that's the part he hated most.

He sighed and tried to focus back on the lecture and the notes he was supposed to take. Then he realized you must have taken his pen by accident.

And he was right but you weren't really conscious as you twirled that very same pen in you hands in apprehension.

Something happened to her.

That happened to her.

You both reached the main office and you hoped that all your fears would be resolved. But you looked up to see your father in a state of varying levels of dishevelment. He looked pale, starved, and hollow.

But worst of all were the tears in his eyes and clear stains on his cheek. No.

No.

You felt the world shrink around you as he opened up his palm to reveal a beautiful golden necklace. A necklace that held two rings.

The same necklace that your mother wore without fail.

The one she swore she would never take off till death did her part.

Till death do you part.

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A/N: another part down! I hope you all liked it! I was scared of how it was gonna turn out at first but kinda liked it. I hope you guys saw the desk scene as I imagined it (both you and coryo kinda crouched and close as you whispered). I imagined it as if it was a movie and the shot would be showing your side profiles as you talked in those fancy curved desk things in the movie. Also if things don't make sense, I'm sorry it's 1 am and I have been working on it for hours and I'm sleepy lol! Much love as always!

@notyourwildestdream 🌹@darktrashsoulbear🌹@fantasylovestoryme 🌹@nekee-lilac02 🌹@a-avengerparker🌹 @queenofshinigamis 🌹

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haesunflower · 1 year

Text

why you break up with zb1

genre: breakup, angst

pairing: reader (gn) x all members of zerobaseone

about/tags: the reasons why you break up with zb1 (non-idol related)

in this universe not all of them are idols, yujin is not here because I don't write romance/angst for minors, mentions of sexuality, cheating, cursing, blood/injury, and fighting; lowercase intentional

⠀⠀ kim jiwoong ⠀⠀

because you got your dream job in another country

and you're at a point where if you're not dating for marriage, then why are you dating at all?

his career is in korea, and like you, he can't give his dream up

so you both decide to let each other go instead

when you texted him "jiwoong, I got the job" he already knew what was coming. and later that night, when he asks for a proper conversation, you almost don't want to have it. you've already discussed it once before, the hypotheticals – when faced with choosing between love and your dreams, you both agreed that you'd have to yield one. he doesn't want to have this conversation either, but it's the responsible thing to do.

it ends with tears in his eyes, and choked sobs as he consoles you. he strokes your hair as your tears stain his shirt, and his heart breaks at the sounds of your cries. but he can't do anything. because this is what's decidedly best for both of you.

⠀⠀ zhang hao ⠀⠀

because his parents don't think you're good enough for him

and while he wants to fight for you

you can't watch him break his family apart just so he can squeeze you in it

"just let me speak to them, please." hao is begging you with his eyes, and you have half the mind to let him. but it's been almost 3 years, and his family had no shame when it came to showing their disdain towards you. such as today, when you both show up to his cousin's wedding and his mother introduces him to a beautiful girl, one who his family accepts – and quote "you two should get to know each other better, you'd make a wonderful pair." his mother says this brazenly right as you stand next to hao, his arms tightening around your waist.

so when you say "i'm tired of seeking approval, hao. can you honestly give your family up for me?" – he can't respond. he's frozen, and although he thinks he's ready to choose you; you prove to him that you know him better

"i didn't think so. goodbye, hao."

⠀⠀ sung hanbin ⠀⠀

because he cheats on you emotionally

you've been suspicious for a while, when he started to become less than perfect for you: missing your dates, forgetting to text or call you, saying another person's name in his sleep

and you want to remain in denial, but you hate that you are proven correctly when you see the texts on his phone

"how long have you been seeing them?" hanbin stops in his tracks, and his eyes travel to his phone in your hands. he can't even be mad, he's knows he’s in the wrong, he should have told you when he was beginning to feel confused - over the person he loves and the person he’s beginning to love. so he doesn't know where to begin, how to explain, or what to tell you when you ask him "so for them, you'd move mountains. but for me, you won't even show up?"

"can you let me explain, y/n?" he can barely get the words out as he rushes over to you, attempting to reach out to your face. you step back from him when you say “don't you dare touch me”. there's venom to your words, and hurt in your eyes. you've never looked at him like that before.

"just, get out. hanbin."

⠀⠀ seok matthew ⠀⠀

because you're toxic for each other

you constantly fight, using weaknesses and past mistakes against each other

but you're both too proud to say sorry

so you end up arguing about the same things, over, and over again

you couldn't have a relationship like this, you both knew that. it's the same as last week, he's somehow blaming you for the unpaid bills, and you guilt trip him for choosing his passions over financial stability. so you couldn't help yourself when you screamed at him. he yelled back, and stormed out of your shared apartment.

when he comes back, he finds you packing your things, "this isn't working anymore, i'm tired and all we do is argue everyday". unlike earlier, there's no more anger in your voice, just defeat.

so the first time you both apologize to each other, is also the last time you are able to. "i'm sorry for everything i said, y/n".

"i know matt, i'm sorry too." he stops your hands from moving, and forces you into a hug. you melt, allowing yourselves to embrace each other tightly one last time.

⠀⠀ kim taerae ⠀⠀

because you have inconsolable differences

he wants to marry you and start a family, but you just don't see yourself living that life – no matter how much you love him, you can't give him what he wants

when you break up, you realize you're better off as friends than lovers

there are tears in your eyes as you watch taerae kiss his new partner "i do". only happy tears, you hope. you watch them take the first dance at the reception, and you listen to him as he sings to them the song he composed just for the wedding. you think that you're a little bit jealous, because that song could have easily been for you. but as you watch taerae smile brightly, looking at his partner with stars in his eyes – you know that you and him were just not meant to be.

towards the end of the night when you're sitting alone at the bar, taerae finds himself next to you. you decide to lead with one simple question "are you happy, taerae?"

"the happiest."

"good". you clink your whiskey glasses together, and enjoy the drink like old friends.

⠀⠀ ricky ⠀⠀

because he can't get his act together

he's getting into fights with other people, gambling, making dangerous deals, and getting himself into extreme situations that you can't handle

and you have always been there to bandage him right up

but you're done trying to make this one-sided relationship work

"don't give me that fucking look, y/n". ricky tells you as he comes home, drunk, with a bleeding nose and a bruised lip. you're wiping at the blood on his face a little less than gently, hoping it's painful for him.

“then do it yourself then, i’m done cleaning up for your sorry ass.” he's not surprised that you're complaining, he's actually wondering what has taken you so long to get this fed up. so he challenges you, pushing to see just how far gone you are "then why are you still here?"

you were hoping he'd apologize, that he'd come to his senses. but you should have known better. you don't have any energy to retort with something crueler, “fuck you, ricky. enjoy life alone." you go to your room, locking it – fully knowing he'll be gone by the morning.

⠀⠀ kim gyuvin ⠀⠀

because you just fell out of love

ever since you were kids, loving each other was all you've both ever known

but you both grew up, you're both different people now, and it just happened.

“look at us. is this how we were supposed to end?” he asks you. you don't respond for a while before you take his hand in yours, interlocking fingers and holding him tightly. scared he'll slip away from you physically, as you are emotionally. both of you are crying, sat under the tree where you had your first kiss.

but just like that, you were over. it takes a while to start talking to each other again, but it helps that you're both moving to different colleges. gyuvin locks away all your memories together in a box under his bed, grateful to have been able to love you. you on the other hand, cry into your pillow from time to time – mourning the people you both were, and the love that you shared.

⠀⠀ park gunwook ⠀⠀

because he's too insecure to be in a relationship

that he ends up as an extremely jealous and overbearing partner

what was once cute assurance, has become a task

and you'd much rather have him work on himself first

"i don't like the way he looked at you" gunwook admits to you. you don't know what else you can say or do to make him stop worrying. he's already with you everywhere, and you love him, god you love him so much, but it's tiring. it's tiring to have to accommodate him and assure him all the time.

you sigh loudly, because you've had similar conversations for the nth time that week. he's a little sad when you say you think you both need time apart. but you say it so sweetly, cupping his cheek and using your thumb to rub his jaw. instead, he puts his head down and bites his lip, basking in your comfort. he knew his jealousy would push you away eventually, but he couldn't help himself.

he nods, and promises to come back to you as a better person.

-- --- --- ---

A/N: serving up a huge heaping of angst, my specialty!

thank you to my friend alexis, co-delulu, for helping me flesh this out

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0nlythrowharrybeaux · 3 months

Text

Wonderful World - Part 21**

Thanks for your patience with this one! Finally got around to finishing it! Series Masterlist

Warnings: Mentions of grief, different topics relating to pregnancy, disowning, unprotected sex, oral (fem receiving), fingering, cum play

WC: 10.1k

The Christmas holiday had been wonderful with Harry’s parents, Paul and Catherine. They were both so kind and warm towards her, Celeste, and Damian. Harry’s mom, Catherine, absolutely loved Disneyland, she even left with a pair of ears on her head that matched with Diana and Celeste’s. She had also taken a lot of care in getting to know Diana better, she would talk to her more than Harry at times. But Diana understood that she just wanted to get a feel for her and what her intentions were with her son. She did mentioned to Diana how much she loved to see Harry with Celeste; she brought a side out of him that she loved to see from her son. It brought a closeness between Catherine and Diana and even Damian, who had served as the sole paternal figure of sorts for Celeste until Harry came along into their lives.

Harry’s instinct about Celeste and his dad getting on well was correct. He, Celeste, and Paul did have a jam session or two during their visit. Paul was so smart and gentle, like Harry. It was evident to her that he really wanted to nourish his relationship with Harry and they spent a lot of time together when they didn’t have plans with Diana and her family.

Harry shared with her that he had of course explained to them how they were proceeding with sharing their relationship with Celeste soon. They had decided to do so after the New Year, they’d have breakfast and talk about it with her. And he told Diana that his parents were very insightful and offered him some advice about how to proceed in this relationship, which Harry took to heart because he truly wanted the relationship to succeed with Diana.

************

Damian had started to join Harry for his workout sessions while he was in town and it gave them a chance to get to know each other better as well. Harry had learned a lot about Damian and Diana’s family, their dynamic, and of course with her permission, Damian shared a lot of the things that were a bit harder for her to share with others about her family life growing up. Damian of course, wanted to ensure that he wasn’t giving Harry the lowdown on his sister for nothing at all, so as they had some coffee after their workout he decided to bring this up.

“Hey, so obviously I think you’re a great guy and you’ve really come through for Di and Celeste.”

“Yeah, it’s been wonderful to do so.” Harry assured.

“Yeah? Not too crazy?” Damian asked with a smile.

“I mean, a little crazy at times…” he confessed, “But not in a bad way at all.” He smiled.

“Well thank you for sticking around.”

“I said I’d do my best to.” He reminded and Damian smiled.

“So this whole thing with Di? I mean you think it’s the real deal?” He asked and Harry nodded.

“Oh definitely.” He smiled, “I’ve never felt more complete or happy with the way things are going with her. And now that Celeste is more or less wanting this to happen between us, it seems like the perfect time to give it a real shot. We’ve talked about it, what we want, and we’re on the same page.”

“And what is that?”

“We want to have a life together eventually. We want our relationship to progress as normally as possible, no rushing into anything just because the feelings are there, you know?”Damian nodded, “Obviously, her life is already established with Celeste and we also don’t want to make abrupt changes. Like we’re still gonna have our own places, keep our relationship as private as possible so that we can work on things together without any pressure from Celeste-”

“Good call. She is eager for you two to get together.” He chuckled and Harry did as well.

“I know…we’re going to tell her after New Year’s. Just going to have a proper chat with her about it and share what we want. What boundaries we’re going to have, that sort of thing.”

“Good. She can be real meddlesome…” Damian chuckled, “Especially if she’s invested.”

“Oh, I am aware…” Harry smiled. “But yeah, this is not just a placeholder for me. This is what I want. I mean, I didn’t know it until it was happening that I was…missing something, you know?”

“I ummm…I don’t actually. Not yet, at least.” Damian admitted with a bit of embarrassment.

“That’s alright. I mean, is it something you want?” He asked and Damian smiled.

“Not yet…or like, I haven’t felt that yet. Ever.”

“You’ve never had your heart broken?” Harry asked and Damian shook his head.

“Nope, never…”

“Really?” He asked in a bit of disbelief.

“Yeah…” Damian chuckled, “I have had a lot of relationships and it’s not like I never cared about those people but I just don’t…want everything else. And of course, the women I’m with think they’ll change my mind if they take good care of me and all…and when it comes up and I tell them that nothing has changed for me, they get hurt and so I…feel like an ass.”

“Some people are just meant to be alone, you know?”

“Well, I’m the heir to my parents’ empire, they expect me to have an heir of my own so…that’s where it gets a bit weird.” He chuckled and Harry nodded in understanding.

“And Di is just, completely out of the picture?” He asked.

“Oh yeah…I mean, after what happened at your practice my mom said herself that she would always hold that against her. She’s never broken a promise to me in my entire life so…”

“Fuck…I’m so sorry.”

“No, don’t be. You were right in what you did. No one as ever stood up to her or ever called her out for any of it except Diana. My dad isn’t like that but he…he’d rather not go up against her. She’s the boss.” He chuckled.

“Women are always the boss.” Harry smiled.

“They are smarter…” Damian confessed, “There’s this woman from our branch in Spain? Lola.” He smiled and Harry nodded, “She’s just an assistant but man is she fucking brilliant.” He smiled, “Her boss, our chief marketing strategist for that branch, runs all his ideas by her. I overheard it once before a big board meeting. She was explaining to him what it was he needed to say. After the meeting, which he totally rocked, I approached her about it, she played dumb…I told her I saw and overheard it as they were prepping and I offered a new job and a raise and she turned it down. Said she was happy doing what she was doing. Says it every time I bring it up to her.”

“Do you like her?” Harry asked.

“She’s fascinating but no. Kind of reminds me of Di, so I look out for her a lot.” He explained, “She’s fucking brilliant, you know? Diana got into Columbia all on her own.”

“Yeah, she told me about that.” Harry smiled.

“I know she’s been through a lot of shit but sometimes I wonder what her life would be like if none of it would have happened, you know? Where would she be? Where would I be?”

“Where do you think she’d be?”

“In Mexico City, buried beneath a mountain of HR paperwork at our corporation’s HQ.” He said and Harry couldn’t envision that. “She got accepted into the Business Management concentration at Columbia, very competitive as an undergrad. She minored in psychology, wanted to do things along the social psychology area though and then do graduate work in HR Management. She didn’t want to be in the business. But there was a whole fucking plan, obviously, it wasn’t really her plan…” Damian explained, “It’s what she was expected to do. So she had to spin it in a way in which she could still do something she cared about so that she could…survive. I mean, she’s always loved and cared for people, so I think she would’ve been alright going down that route for a bit. But I think she would’ve been put in challenging situations that made her choose things that in her eyes weren’t right. And I don’t know if I’m awful for saying this, but as much pain as she’s experienced, maybe it was for the best? Because she would be so miserable. Absolutely hate her life if it were anything other than this…” Damian said, “She’s happy now, doing something she loves.”

“How’d she get into the whole Spanish thing?”

“Well in terms of our culture, she’s always loved it, since we were kids. She was taking a class at Columbia about Latin American culture as an elective and well, when she transferred to another school she just stuck with that because she really liked it. I supposed it was also a comfort thing for her. There was so much pain and uncertainty in her life at that time that it was easier to stick to something she knew well and was familiar with, you know?”

“Yeah, that makes sense.” Harry hummed, “But I think you’re right, she’s much happier doing what she loves, free to choose for herself than to be stuck doing something she hates. And well, we would’t have Celeste…” Harry said.

“Exactly. I think everything happens for a reason. And well, my sister’s life had gone according to my parents’ plan until she refused to terminate her pregnancy. She lost a lot, but she gained her freedom and found herself and I think that’s the most important thing to her anyway. And well, ultimately all of those things led you two together, which also has been great for her and Celeste. So I have to believe it all happened how it was supposed to.”

“Who knows, but I assure you that as long as she wants me in her life, I will be here and I will take care of her and Celeste.”

“I know you will. I trust you with them, that’s big for me.” Damian shared.

“Well thank you for trusting me.”

“You’ve earned it.” Damian assured. “If I knew that my family could be…different, I think I would be more open to marriage and kids…but my parents are just great at…sucking the life out of everything. I don’t want to bring anyone into that. Seems very irresponsible to me.”

“Yeah, I get that.” Harry nodded, “It’s why I never wanted kids of my own.”

“Your sweet old parents traumatized you?!” Damian asked in surprise and Harry chuckled.

“I think all of our parents traumatize us in a way. They’re wonderful people, don’t get me wrong, but when you’re a child you just want them around. And I grew up feeling like they loved their work more than me. And being the child of two renowned psychiatrists brings a crippling self awareness at a very young age.” He chuckled, “I viewed my parents exactly as they are from a very young age. Just regular, flawed people who made good and bad choices, like everyone else…” he sighed, “And I was resentful for a long time. The idea of coming to America, not wanting to have kids, that was initially born out of spite for them. Like Diana, I wanted my freedom. But as I got older and I fell in love with the field for myself I realized that my plan to leave and not reproduce was still what I wanted, just my intentions were wrong before. I didn’t and still don’t want to take on the legacy of what they’ve built across Europe. I think it’s great, but they hardly get to practice, which is where my heart lies. I’ve poured myself into my work and that wouldn’t be fair to my partner or my child, you know?”

“Exactly!” Damian agreed with enthusiasm, “I felt like my work with the family was an obligation before but when I delved in I fell in love with it. And I’m good at it, better than my father is. I want to make it better and that requires a lot of my time and dedication.” He said, “So, did your mind change about what you wanted? Like do you want to have kids now? With my sister?”

“Oh no, I also just don’t like babies.” Harry confessed and Damian chuckled but nodded. “Diana and I are on the same page with that. We’ve checked in again about it because well, we’re not getting any younger.” Harry shrugged, “But ummm, yeah she doesn’t want that and I don’t either. Celeste is enough for the both of us.”

“I think Di might also be a bit…traumatized about pregnancy and babies and that kind of thing. I mean, she did it all on her own, I was there when I could be, which she overestimates. I should’ve just moved back here t-to help her out more…I’ll always regret that.” He said and Harry frowned but nodded, “She just had such a hard time that I think if she did it again, even with a partner it would just fuck her up for a bit.”

“Yeah, understandably so.” Harry agreed, “I mean, at the end of the day I think we just want to make each other happy and we both agree that we don’t need that to be happy. We’ve not chosen ourselves for a long time, so this is for us. Just for us.” Harry smiled.

“Good. That’s good…” Damian smiled.

****************

The New Year came and went and Diana got a bit too nervous about telling Celeste about her and Harry. So she spoke to him and they postponed it and gave themselves one more week, and boy was that week becoming very challenging for Diana…

Specially after spending the holidays with Harry’s family, Celeste was more pushy than ever. Diana’s anxiety was getting even more out of hand. She had never known Celeste to be this defiant with her over something, but she was constantly having to ask her to please stop meddling in what she wanted for her future. But it seemed that Celeste wasn’t understanding the havoc it was wreaking on Diana’s emotions. To Celeste it seemed like playful teasing or something, but to Diana it felt suffocating.

Diana was aware that she had major abandonment issues, not just because of Wesley’s passing, but from the way her parents distanced themselves from her so suddenly, and then from Wesley’s parents as well; the people who had loved her so much and treated her like their own with such warmth and kindness. She hoped to find comfort with them, to be able to grieve with them and to count on them for support with Celeste. After all, she was their grand daughter, but his parents never really recovered from the loss and also cut off all contact. All of Celeste’s persistence was making her feel trapped and afraid of what she wanted with Harry. What if something happened to him too? That was the fear that prevented her from letting people in for all these years and it had been growing steadily and had just reached it’s boiling point.

“Baby, what’s the matter?” Harry asked Diana as he pulled her into his arms as she sobbed hard. He walked them back inside her house where it was warm. It was nearly 2am and freezing cold outside and he didn’t want her getting sick right before school started. But she just cried and cried for several minutes in his arms. Celeste was gone at a sleepover at Geri’s, so thankfully, no one was home but them two and she could say everything she wanted to say, so she did.

She told him how Celeste kept pushing her and it was making her nervous about her not respecting the boundaries they wanted to set. She told him about how she considered backing out and staying alone instead of being with him how she wanted to because it would just be easier. She told him how she feared for her heart, how she feared another loss, how she feared letting their lives entangle even deeper. She shared the internal war she was at with her head and her heart. She shared her anxieties, her hopes, and her desires. She had poured her heart out to him in a way she never had before. It was chaotic and painful, but it was also extremely vulnerable and motivated by her need for love. Not just any love, his love. She needed to know that he could still love her through all of this and most importantly, be patient with her.

It was essentially a verbal brain dump, he couldn’t take any of her feelings too personally. All of her fears were valid and he couldn’t even guarantee to her that he wouldn’t abandon her in the way she feared, that was completely out of his control. Of course, voluntarily, he would be there for as long as he could be, but sometimes shit happens and accidents happen and there’s no way to prevent that, as she had experienced already. But Harry could see that she didn’t want to give up, she was just feeling so pressured and overwhelmed. Obviously, Harry knew that Celeste didn’t intend to be badgering her mom, she just wanted to know, to be let in, probably even to gush over her love life with her the way Diana had done with her over Ben. Diana also expressed that she just couldn’t blow up on Celeste over this, she wasn’t being rude or anything, but even as Diana kindly tried to emphasize that she just needed privacy to deal with this for a bit, Celeste was stubborn.

“-it’ just feels like a lot emotionally, you know?” She sighed before inhaling shakily and he squeezed her had, his thumb running over her knuckles soothingly.

“Yeah, it is, love.”

“I just don’t know if it’s fair to you that I’m so…flighty.” She frowned and he smiled.

“Love, the last thing you are is flighty.” He assured, “You are so consistent and responsible, and on top of your things. And this is an area of your life which you haven’t really explored or prioritized in a while, you know? So it’s going to take some getting used to, yeah?”

“Yeah.” She mumbled, “You make me so happy. But I’m still terrified of just getting it out there.” She explained.

“I’m scared too.” He confessed, “But I trust you with my heart. I don’t know what life will throw at us at any point, but I do believe that you will always have my best interest at heart. And I promise I too have your best interest at heart.”

“I do and I know you do too.” she confirmed, “I feel the same about you. I’m just afraid to really let myself feel happy about this because I…I just don’t want our time t-to be cut short.”

“Oh my love, c’mere.” He hummed and she nestled herself into his arms. Her back rested against his chest as he kissed the side of her head. “You can’t think like that all the time.” He advised, “Think of all the time we’ll have instead versus the time we won’t have. Better to enjoy everything now, day by day, yeah? Focus on the memories we get to make and how our relationship will grow and keep getting better?”

“You’re right.” She responded. The feeling of his chest rising and falling with his breaths made Diana feel more present. “Thank you for coming over and listening to all this. It can’t be easy to hear it.”

“I’ll always listen to how you feel, Di. Love you.”

“I love you too.” She responded and he kissed her head again. They just sat like that together in the silence for a little bit, “Wanna stay with me?” She asked quietly, she was a bit shy to ask but she didn’t want him to go now that he was here.

“Yeah, baby. I’ll stay with you.” He smiled through his confirmation.

Soon enough they were heading up the stairs and into her bedroom. It was a bit colder in her room with the big glass doors not providing too much insulation, but that was alright with him, if they got cold they could just cuddle up closer. He climbed into the side of the bed opposite she slept on and soon they were facing each other, her face was buried in his neck. Her soft breaths were tickling his skin as he smoothed his hand up and down the curve of her hip. Then Harry felt her lips pucker up right at the base of his jaw and he smiled. She then did it again before sucking gently.

“Is this alright?” She mumbled into his heated skin and he swallowed.

“Yeah, baby.” He barely got out before her soft sucks against the sensitive skin of his neck started to make all of the excitement swirl up in his tummy. His fingers were now holding tight to her as her sucks intensified. She was leaving a mark and that made him run absolutely wild. After a few more seconds she pulled off and kissed up his jaw, pecking right at the corner of his lip.

“Cheeky girl.” He hummed and she smiled.

“I’ve missed you.” She whispered. Diana was still a bit timid to fully initiate sex with him, she was working up to it, hoping he’d ask first.

“Really? It’s only been a few days…” he teased and she grinned.

“I can’t help it.” She shrugged and he chuckled, “You didn’t miss me?” She asked and he hummed playfully, “Be nice to me…” she mumbled which made Harry kiss her forehead.

“Course I did, baby. You’re constantly on my mind if you’re not close by.” He confirmed softly and she nuzzled closer to him, “Mmmm baby, how do I say ‘kiss me’ in Spanish?” He hummed inquisitively and she grinned as she reared back a bit to try and get some sort of a glimpse of him despite the darkness.

“Se dice, ‘bésame’.” She said quietly, her lips nearly skimming his own. Harry grinned and in a quick and smooth movement he had her under him. One of his big, warm hands was holding her face as he dipped down. His lips tickling and skimming against her own from how close they were.

“Bésame.” He whispered. She could practically taste him saying the words and forming them with his lips.

Diana let out a breathy exhale as she arched up while tugging him down to allow their eager mouths to meet. From the get-go the kiss was intense. His hips were pressing against hers, she could feel him steadily growing in his pants as they continued smearing their lips together with the same urgency of two teenagers who could get caught at any second. Her hands were roaming the expanse of his back, feeling up his muscular physique to her heart’s content.

“Get this off.” she muttered as she tugged at his shirt and Harry knelt up and stripped it off his body swiftly. She raised her arms up and he pulled her top off as well. He dipped down and pecked her quickly before sinking lower and sucking one of her nipples between his lips as his hand came up and grabbed her other breast. He kneaded her soft skin in his hands before sucking over that nipple as well. He loved to hear her whimpering beneath him, humping up against his muscular thigh in desperate need of some friction.

“Want me to inside you?” He asked gruffly.

“Yes, baby. Please…” she moaned and he kissed her deeply and rolled off of her to get undressed the rest of the way. He then helped her out and right before he could get his mouth on her she was pulling him up by the hair. “Do that later.” She panted and he grinned before kissing her as she reached down to find his erection and line it up with her entrance.

“Damn baby, so fucking wet f’me.” He panted and he felt his cock basking in the slick warmth between her legs. “Shit…Can I put it in, love?”

“Yeah baby, put it in.” She sighed with urgency.

With her confirmation, Harry snapped his hips up and his thick head pushed into her entrance and she inhaled sharply as her fingernails dug into his bare back. Harry groaned in response and breathed in her shaky exhales as he rolled his hips down against hers. His cock was sliding through her tight walls at the perfect pace. In and out. In and out. Delving in deep and reaching spots that were making her tingle and then moan his name. He gradually started going a bit harder and deeper with each thrust; he loved the sound of their bodies meeting, soft wet sounds that he wanted engraved into his memory forever and ever.

“Shit, you feel so good around my big cock…” he grunted and Diana whimpered and clamped her walls down around him, “You want more, don’t you?” He grinned and she nodded and he took that as his cue to fuck into her harder than before. He was pounding her so deep that her bed frame was creaking beneath them. And soon a rhythmic thumping against the wall in perfect time with his deep grunts joined in the symphony of their gentle and desperate sin. His moans and soft sounds of satisfaction were making Diana’s brain melt to mush. She gasped and her back started arched up when Harry rubbed into her clit, it was all swollen and slippery with a blend of their arousal. He was enjoying watching her eyes roll back and then squeeze shut; he loved watching her lose herself in him. “Fuck baby, you’re right there, aren’t you? Gonna come on my cock?”

“Yeah, Harry…fuck ju-just a little bit faster!” She mewled her request and he picked up the pace and in moments he felt her walls suffocating his cock, creating the most wonderful feeling around him. It felt as though he was being pulled deeper into her and he moaned and even went a little lightheaded as he allowed his hips to move however he needed to get him off. Harry’s desperation for his own orgasm was pushing her over that coveted precipice. And finally, she tipped over the edge. Her entire body was vibrating with ecstasy as the rush of pleasure crashed over her and rolled her in its currents. Her skin was covered in goosebumps, her inhales were shallow, and her moans melodious as the feelings pumped through her veins. She felt her ears ringing as the pleasure reached the top of her head, her body was completely tense as she hung on to the feeling for as long as she could.

“Oh fuck, baby…shit, I’m gonna come!” He groaned. He pounded away into her a couple more times, feeling her writhing beneath his body as his pulsing balls drew up tight, getting ready to unload his hot cum deep inside of her, “Fuck baby, there it is…Fuuuck yes.” He moaned as he pressed deep inside of her as he filled her up with gush after gush of his sperm. She grabbed his face and kissed him deeply as he fell over her. They kissed until they started getting all hot and bothered again.

Their make out session was heated and needy. He didn’t dare pull out of her yet, he wasn’t even going completely soft, so he was tucked into her, keeping them connected until he mumbled that he wanted to go down on her. He kissed all the way down to her swollen and glistening folds and licked at her clit and made her come a couple times with his fingers nestled against her g-spot. He was fucking his load of sperm back into her pussy with them until she was trembling and nearly incoherent, begging him to stop. He kissed back up her body and locked lips with hers, letting her taste the lovely mess they’d made together. They were both sweaty heaps catching their breaths on Diana’s bed. Her fingers were raking through his sweaty, brown curls while he kissed up and down the inside of her fore arm.

“You’re so hot.” She whispered with a grin and his lips twitched up in a smirk.

“Thank you. So are you, baby.” He hummed back.

“You’re too good at what you do, Harry…why are you so good at sex?” She asked and he chuckled.

“I’m only interested in being good at everything I do, not just sex.” He said smugly and she smiled. “But I’m glad you think I’m good at it. Want to be good for you.” He hummed and she smiled as she kissed his damp curls.

“Should we have a shower?”

“Yeah, baby.” He hummed and he told her to go ahead while he stripped the bed and put everything in the washer before he joined her. That had at least given her time to wash her hair. She was able to finish up before him and get some new sheets out. He soon joined her and helped her set up the bed again before they got dressed and cuddled against each other, both of them shivering as they adjusted to the temperature.

“I think we should talk to Celeste tomorrow. You can pick her up from Geri’s and I can make us some early dinner. Or vice versa.” She said and he nodded.

“Yeah, we can do that. Can I bring Misty tomorrow? Don’t want to leave her alone all day.”

“Yeah, fine…as long as she doesn’t come in here, cat hair’s the worst.” She said and he hummed.

“Well you’re in luck, she’s hypoallergenic!”

“They still shed…”

“Minimally, love.” He said and she sighed, “You still scared of her?”

“I always will be.” She admitted and she chuckled and kissed her shoulder. “She can be around though, Celeste loves her.”

“OK, love.”

“So how are we gonna do this, logistically speaking? Maybe Celeste must have plans at least once a month so we can have a couple days during the escape room weekends.”

“Oh, that’s brilliant…” he mused.

“I know, huh? I’ve had lots of time to think about it.” She smiled.

“My parents really loved you and Celeste, you know?”

“Yeah?”

“Mhmmm, but now my mom’s even more bummed about the no babies thing.” He said and she giggled, “Said they’d look like little angels…I think she’s right, they’d be real cute.” He hummed and she smiled.

“Yeah, I think so too…” she hummed.

“Do you think you’d ever change your mind?” He asked and she hummed.

“Maybe…but just pregnancy is not something I want to do again. I think it was just such a dark time in my life that like…I feel like it would emotionally make me or break me.” She explained. “I know before I mentioned just not wanting to have a baby again…but it’s more complicated than that. I think…I mean, I have thought about it, if we had kids. I think we’re both mature enough and of sound mind…” she explained and he smiled, “And I know it would be very different this time around in terms of the level of support I’d have. But physically I think I would have a hard time with it, just because of before. I think my body would react badly to a pregnancy, like I just feel it in my gut.” She explained, “And I mean, I feel like I have everything I want and need, so I would hate to put myself and risk and not be there for Celeste. You know?”

“Yeah, of course. And I mean, pregnancy was very emotionally traumatic for you. I get that, love.”

“D-do you see yourself changing your mind about this?” She asked him nervously.

“I could, but only if you really wanted it. I don’t think we would be missing out at all if we don’t have a baby. Besides, if Grace gets pregnant then we’ll have a baby around for quite a while…we could share with them, they’re such going-out types, I’m sure we’d be the default babysitters. And I’m certain a few hours with the baby would be more than enough to keep us set in our decision to not have our own baby.” He shared and she laughed a bit.

“Yeah, that’s true…I just don’t want to make you not have something because of my bad experience, you know?”

“Well thank you for thinking of me, but I assure you, we both make that decision here, but you hold the most weight to it. Honestly, I have what I need with you and Celeste, I don’t need anything else.” He assured her.

“What if we get a dog? A small one though? They can play with Misty.”

“Yeah, I like dogs.” He smiled.

“More than cats?” She asked and he chuckled.

“Admittedly, yes. Cats can be very temperamental, but I got so lucky with Misty, she’s such an easy one.”

“She really is…she’s quite similar to you actually, even tempered, easygoing, energetic, a little clingy…”

“Am I?” He smiled and she giggled and nodded.

“Yeah, but I like it.” She assured him, “It’s nice to have someone around who wants to be around, you know?”

“Yeah, definitely.” He smiled.

“Can I ask you something? We don’t have to talk about if you don’t want, but ummm, what about Rebecca? Like is that something that still bothers you? Or is it fine now?”

“Like the cheating or the baby?” He asked.

“Both, I guess…”

“Well, the cheating I got over. I think if I had been a lot more in love with her it would have been a lot harder to deal with. But like, we were trying really hard to make it work and to be happy, almost forcing it to work, you know? By then I had already…started to be interested in you, I mean, well you know that.” He smiled bashfully and she hummed. “So yeah, I was just more upset that she was feeling the strain and never said anything to me and let it get to that point. I mean, I was trying to make it work, but maybe I should’ve said something first?” He explained and she nodded. “And with the baby…I mean, I’m happy for her. It seems that Eddie brought out a more relaxed side of her, which is good.” Harry said. “It did kind of send me into an existential spiral at first…made me wonder if maybe I just wasn’t good enough for her. Like I personally don’t prefer to have kids, but I thought I was gonna marry her so I was like “sure, if you really want ‘em with me”. But ummm, I just felt a bit inadequate for a minute there.”

“Have you talked since?” Diana asked him.

“Yeah, a couple of times. Mostly to refer some of her clients for evaluations or services, or to be an expert witness…have that coming up soon.”

“Ooh, have to go to court?”

“Yep.” He chuckled. “But yeah, we talk from time to time. We’re on good terms.”

“That’s really good to know. My mom always said that only bad partners are on bad terms with their exes.”

“Oh…I quite like that…” Harry hummed and she smiled into the silence.

“Yeah…do you have any questions for me?” She asked and he sighed.

“Yeah, tons…when I was talking to your brother he said that like, even though all of this was really painful for you to attain, that this was your best outcome. And I guess I’m wondering if you…agree with that?”

“Yeah, I do.” She answered quickly without any hesitation. “I don’t regret anything about my life now, I mean…I do wish my relationship was better with my whole family. But say I listened to my mom and terminated my pregnancy, the judgement would still be there from everyone. Probably even worse as my extended family is still really influenced by Catholicism and they’re very intolerant of abortion or divorce for really any reason. So even if I assumed the position my family wanted me in, I would still be an outsider. But ultimately, I think I am where I need to be. I love the life I have with Celeste. I love teaching, so much. I love getting to make my own choices. I love not having to be around all that pressure; I would surely break.” She chuckled dryly.

“Oh I don’t think you would break, baby. You’re one of the strongest persons I’ve ever met.” He said with certainty, “But I think that eventually you would have to get out. Not because you aren’t strong enough to deal with. Quite the opposite actually. You’d have the strength and courage that it takes to walk away from all of it. I don’t think that life was meant for you, you know?”

“Yeah, definitely not. I am very happy with what I have going on now.” She confirmed and he smiled. “I’m happy with you.”

“Good. I’m happy with you too.” He whispered.

**************

The following morning Diana was a little more on edge. She had woken up before Harry and had a body shower. She had her coffee and then made breakfast, which woke Harry up. He was quick to wash up as well and join her. There was some music playing softly from her phone that had her slightly swaying her hips as she did something over the sink. Harry walked up quietly before hugging around her hips. She froze in surprise before melting into his touch.

“G’morning.” She greeted sweetly as he smushed a big kiss to her temple.

“Morning, baby.” He mumbled. “What can I do to help?” He asked lowly, his voice still raspy from its lack of use over the night.

“Can you dice those peppers up for me?” She said shooting a glance to the cutting board with a red and green pepper already laid out.

“Sure.” He smiled and headed over. She glanced over a few times but stopped when she saw him properly dice the first little bit. “Am I doing something wrong?” He asked her when he caught her final glance.

“Nope. You’ve got it.” She smiled and he chuckled.

“S’this a good size?” He asked and she glanced back over with a grin.

“Yes, chef.” She winked and he chuckled and proceeded with his task. “Do you like the potato skin or nah?” She asked.

“I do.” He responded.

“Perfect!” She exclaimed, “Saves me the trouble of peeling…” she mumbled quietly to herself and he smiled, “Mmmm nope…c'mere.” She mumbled and Harry glanced over and giggled.

“Who? Me?” He asked glancing back in confusion.

“No, sorry.” She giggled, “A potato was rolling away.” She explained and soon came up beside him and set up to chop the potatoes. In moments she was flawlessly dicing up a potato. Harry stopped his own task just to watch how gracefully she worked, swiftly and silently. When she realized he was just staring she cracked a smile and then stopped to glanced up at him. “What?”

“Nothing, keep working.” He hummed.

“Okay…?” She said and he cocked his head to the side.

“M’no, you’re supposed to say “yes, chef” when I tell you to do something.”

“Oh, OK. Ask again.” She played along.

“Keep working, Di.”

“Yes, chef.” She said with a pleasant smile and he chuckled.

“You’re cute.”

“Thank you.” She smiled and he chuckled and then continued his own chopping.

It made them both so happy that this is what every day could look like in the future. This was lovely and peaceful and comforting. It was worth working towards and with this in mind Diana decided to stop being afraid of Celeste. She knew that she was supportive of her and Harry dating now so that made her feel easier about the conversation. After breakfast Harry went home to feed Misty and then get showered and changed. Diana did a similar thing, she tidied around the house before getting some lasagna going because Harry had really liked it last time and Celeste also really loved it. She was just about preheat the oven when Celeste’s call came in and she wiped her hands on her apron before picking up.

“Hi, mamita!” Diana greeted cheerfully.

“Hey, just wondering what time you were planning on coming to get me?” She asked.

“Actually Harry’s gonna go pick you up. He was planning on being there around 3 and he’s gonna come over for dinner, is that good?”

“Oh yeah, perfect! We wanted to go to this new boba place real quick!”

“Yeah, you guys have time. Just get a small size though, I made lasagna for dinner.”

“Yes!” She cheered lowly and Diana chuckled a bit.

“Alright. Be safe. I’ll tell Harry to text you when he’s heading out.”

“Okay thanks, mom. See you later!”

“See ya, love you.”

“Loveyoubye.” She said quickly before hanging up.

Diana finished layering the lasagna just in time for the oven to reach the designated temperature and she got it inside and set the timer on her phone before hurrying up to have a shower and get changed. She was mentally rehearsing how she wanted to share this with Celeste and when. Should they eat and then talk, or talk first and then eat? Or talk while they ate? Diana was getting on some light makeup on her as she considered these things. Time seemed to fly by because the unmistakable whir of their property gate opening pulled her from her thoughts. She quickly finished applying her mascara before hurrying to her closet and picking out what she wanted to wear. After settling on some jeans, a white t-shirt and an oversized baby blue cardigan, she got into her slippers just as the front door was opening.

“Mom, we’re home!” Celeste called loudly and Diana exhaled before heading downstairs. She could hear them sayin how it smelled delicious and how they needed to find a good place to put Misty’s food and water bowl. She was about to reach the last few steps when Misty stopped at the staircase and then peered up at her expectantly.

“Oh please, don’t.” Diana mumbled to herself lowly as Misty put a paw on the bottom step and sniffled at it. She made a move to head down but with a heavier step to try and startle her away. The cat recoiled a bit and then glanced up at her with curios eyes. She was about to ask one of them to come get her when Harry came around from the kitchen and she sighed in relief. “Thank god.” She sighed and he laughed.

“How long have you been standing there?”

“Just a few moments.” She said and he hummed. “Can you tell her to move or just grab her.”

“Di, I think you ought to face your fear. Just step down and she’ll get out of the way.”

“You don’t think I tried that already?”

“Come on, love. She’s real sweet.” He assured and she glanced down at the cat now rubbing up against Harry’s legs. Suddenly Celeste walked over and her eyes lit up at the scene before her and then started to laugh.

“Wait, how long have you been there?” She questioned.

“Not long.” Diana sighed at yet another question about her being stuck on the staircase.

“You guys match!” Celeste observed with a smile and then you glanced over at Harry and he chuckled.

“Great minds, kid.” He said to Celeste and she chuckled and nodded in agreement. “So are we having dinner on the staircase or are you gonna come down?” He asked and Celeste smirked at her, awaiting her response to Harry’s question.

“Tell you what, I need to go to the bathroom. When I’m out, you need to be down here by whatever means possible.” Celeste said and Diana rolled her eyes.

“OK, you go do that. Please, take your time.” She insisted and Celeste smirked as she kept on walking to the bathroom and disappearing from their line of sight.

“C’mon love, she’s not going to hurt you. I promise.” Harry appealed to Diana once more.

“I just don’t want her anywhere near my ankles. Just pick her up please. I will even put her head! I just need her away from my ankles.”

“OK, deal.” He said crouching down and easily picking Misty up in one hand by her tummy and then settling her against his side and Diana descended the rest of the steps.

“Do we tell her before or after we eat?” Diana asked as she reached out slowly. She flinched a bit when Misty’s cool, damp nose nudged at her fingertips, sniffing her out a bit.

“I think so because she told me she had the medium sized bubble tea.” Harry chuckled and Diana sighed and then reached up and touched the soft fur in between Misty’s ears and then scratched a bit which made Misty relax into Harry’s hold and she closed her eyes. “She’s purring. She likes it.” He told her and Diana smiled a bit as she started to hear the very soft and low hums herself. “Are you nervous?”

“Of course.” She said quietly as her eyes met Harry’s, he looked calm, the kind of calm she wanted to be right about now, “What the fuuu-?!” She gasped and pulled away startling Misty. She shook her hand and Harry laughed.

“What?”

“She licked me! I was not mentally prepared to feel that texture on my hand.” She said through her laugh and he joined her as well.

“Why are you nervous?” He asked her and she bit her lip.

“I don’t know…”

“You do.” He insists.

“What if…things just…”

“Don’t work out?” He asked and she nodded.

“I don’t want to…open this up and give her hope that we can be a family one day and then something goes wrong and she loses you.”

“Love, I mean this with so much care and love, but this isn’t about Celeste. Pain and disappointment are a sad reality of life, you know that.” He said and she sighed, “But the wonderful thing about life is also that when you have people to share those hard times with, it makes them more tolerable. I can’t promise that I’ll be perfect or that I won’t hurt and disappoint you every now and again, I’m only human.” He chuckled, “But I can promise to do everything I can to ensure that we have open and honest communication and that we set realistic expectations of what we can do to make each other feel happy and safe with the time we have together.” He said and she nodded, she was petting at Misty’s head again, her eyes focused on her sweet little face as she took in Harry’s words, “Di, look at me.” He insisted and she glanced up at him, “I love you. And I love Celeste. So we’re all gonna be okay.” He said with a soft and sincere smile.

“I love you too.” She whispered with a smile. “Thank you for being so patient with me.”

“Of course, always.” He responded and then they headed off to the kitchen. Misty was now exploring about and Harry was opening a bottle of wine when Celeste walked back in.

“Did she touch the cat?” Celeste asked Harry and Diana whipped around quickly.

“I did.” Diana confirmed with a small smile.

“Dang it…” she mumbled as she hopped up onto one of the stools under the kitchen island and Harry chuckled.

“Di, do you want a glass?”

“Please.” She responded.

“Mamita, do you want anything before we eat?”

“No, I’ll wait. I didn’t get the small boba.” She confessed.

“So I heard.” She smiled at her briefly and Celeste glanced to Harry.

“Traitor.” She said with a small smile.

“She’s not mad is she?” Harry asked as he poured Diana her glass of wine.

“Fair.” She mumbled as she watched Diana just looking at Harry, waiting for him to finish up. Once he handed over her glass Diana grabbed it and brought it to her lips before starting to drink it down. Harry was serving himself so he didn’t see, but this was surprising to Celeste and her eyes widened as she finished the glass and then set it down. “Ummm, mom are you alright?” She asked her and Diana glanced up at her looking slightly embarrassed at being caught by her young daughter as she guzzled down some alcohol. At this Harry glanced over to her too and she started to feel nervous again.

“I am, but ummm, I do need to talk to you about something.” She said and Celeste nodded, “It’s a more or less a serious conversation which I am feeling a little nervous about,” she admitted, “so ummm, that’s why I did that. Sorry, if that worried you.”

“Well, seems like I should be worried.” Celeste said, her demeanor visibly more tense as the uncertainty of the topic at hand settled in.

“It’s not a bad thing.” Diana said and then glanced to Harry for some help and he was currently having some of his wine as well. His own nerves getting the best of him. Celeste looked between the two of them waiting for more information.

“Ummm…okay…” she said as she looked between them some more.

“Do you want more wine?” He asked her.

“Please.” Diana hummed and Harry came over to the island and grabbed her glass and served her some more and she glanced down at it and exhaled shakily, she was struggling to breathe in again until she felt Harry’s warmth closer than before and she glanced to her side to see him giving her a small reassuring smile as he nodded. She then inhaled and turned back to Celeste.

“You’re freaking me out.” Celeste said with concern and Diana groaned softly.

“I’m sorry, I’m just bad at this and I’m a bit nervous.” She confessed, “But ummm, I know that you’ve been ummm… interested a little more in my love life as of late.” Diana started, “And ummm, I just wanted to tell you that…well ummm….” She said as she glanced up at Harry who just nodded, “We’re ummm…Harry and I-” as soon as she heard this her mouth widened in a surprised smile and her eyes widened.

“You’re gonna date? You two?” She interrupted and Diana glanced back at Harry who was smiling at her already before looking back to Celeste and they nodded.

“I-is that alright?” Harry asked and she grinned. And grabbed her phone and started typing something in quickly and moment’s later Handel’s Hallelujah chorus came through the speakers on her phone as she sang along goofily, “Fi-na-llyyyyy!” She groaned dramatically after a few seconds and Diana and Harry laughed at her theatrics.

“Alright, alright the serious part of the conversation still needs to happen.” Harry said and she paused the song and nodded, but she was beaming, anxiously waiting for the next part. “So ummm, as you know, this is something new for your mum, and well you too.” Harry started, “And I know it can be…exciting,” he said and she nodded, “but ummm, for y-your mum it’s also quite nerve racking. So we’ve decided on having a few boundaries about what we want to share w-with you for the time being.” He said and she looked to Diana for more explanation on this.

“Mamita, I just need you t-to be a little patient with me now.” Diana said, “Like, over the last few weeks we’ve been trying t-to build up to telling you, but you were a little too…pushy with the topic and it kept making mer nervous and postpone the conversation with you and I guess we just need privacy to settle into this before we are more comfortable being together openly w-with you.”

“So I’m too…nosy?” She asked and Diana frowned, “And if I stop you guys will keep dating?” She added, her lips curled up a bit and Diana sighed.

“Y-yes.” She admitted with a tinge of hesitation and Celeste let out a laugh.

“Okay! I can mind my business!” She said and Diana and Harry chuckled, “As a matter of fact,” she said as she hopped off the stool, “I don’t even care. I don’t at all. I’m just a selfish teenager who worries about her friends and stupid problems.” She said as she backed away from the kitchen. And they laughed and called her back so that they could actually finish up and she leaned on the counter now wearing the biggest smile, “OK, go on.” She insisted.

“Well, I know you don’t care or whatever,” she started with a small smirk and Celeste giggled, “but I just want you t-to be comfortable. I mean, neither of us is super big on PDA, but I mean, we might hold hands sometimes or even kiss quickly or something like that,” Diana blushed, “and like, while you might be happy about this, it can also be a little weird. So if you ever do, just let me know.” She said and Celeste nodded.

“Okay. Thanks.” She said. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Ummm, let’s hear it.” Diana decided.

“When did this start?!” She asked.

“Like when did we start to like each other or when did we first go on a date?” Harry asked.

“Both? I-if that’s allowed.” She added.

“Well, I started liking your mum since you two first came t-to the practice.” He admitted and Celeste’s jaw dropped in shock at this. “Yeah, I know…” Harry chuckled. “I don’t know, I just thought she was so beautiful and sweet and she was just stuck in my head.” He said and then she glanced to Diana awaiting her response.

“Oh, me.” Diana chuckled a bit nervously, “Ummm…w-we ran into each other one night after our classes and that girl from your class was following you?” She said to Harry and he nodded.

“You had a stalker?” Celeste asked and Harry chuckled and turned to her quickly.

“No. She just had a crush on me at the start of the semester and was trying really hard to have more time with me.” He explained. “Either way, you noticed I was looking rather uncomfortable so you approached us-”

“Yeah, I pretended to be his girlfriend that was running late.” Diana said, “And that was the girl that approached us at Cafe Flores, remember?” She asked Celeste and she nodded.

“Oh…”

“Yeah, so that’s when I realized I liked him.” Diana said and Harry’s brows furrowed suddenly.

“That conversation didn’t end well if I recall correctly.” He said with a frown.

“Yeah, it did not.” Diana chuckled, “But I felt so crumby after you said that we should just keep it as professional as possible that it hit me then that I…had a crush on you.” She confessed.

“It can’t be anything else? A better moment where I wasn’t a prick to you?”

“I can’t choose when my feelings happened! That’s when I confirmed that I liked you.” She giggled and he hummed.

“Fine.” He hummed and she smiled and then turned to Celeste.

“And I asked Harry out on a date during the summer but ummm, things were going well with you in therapy and you were saying that you wanted to keep him around as your therapist for as long as possible and well, we can’t do that while he was working with you so we decided not to continue with that -er us then. But that was technically the first date…”

“You were not going to be together because of me?” She asked with a small frown.

“Yeah, but just because ethically it’s frowned upon t-to have what is called a dual relationship with a client and their family or friends. So if someone else in my field were to find out that I was dating a client’s parent I could get my licenses revoked and it would be quite bad for all of us. And well, also you had expressed some hesitation with your mum dating before to me in session, and well, you didn’t react well when you thought we were dating that one time, so I think we both just felt that…not being together was the best thing to do for all of us.” He explained.

“Oh…now I feel bad.” She pouted a bit.

“No mamita, don’t feel bad. It really was our bad. I mean, those kinds of rules are there for a reason. And I think that you’ve even experienced some of that with Harry in terms of wanting him around for more things in your life. Its quite a fine line to walk but everything is working out now and ummm, w-we want to give it a real shot now that we can without risking his entire career.” She said and Celeste smiled a bit.

“Okay, well I am fully on board with this.” She said and Diana chuckled.

“Don’t we know…” she mumbled and Celeste grinned.

“Well, at the end of the day I just want you to be happy too.” Celeste said to Diana, “And well, I trust Harry and I know he’ll take good care of you and be nice and supportive and all the stuff you’ve told me you wanted if you ever dated anyone so…yeah.” She smiled and Diana smiled and then glanced up to Harry who just pulled her into his side and she relaxed in his hold and hugged him back as he planted a quick kiss on the top of her head.

“So cute.” Celeste hummed and Diana laughed as she felt her face warming as she blushed.

Their dinner went well, Celeste monopolized the conversation and only talked about what she had going on and then what she did with Geri at their sleep over. It was nice though, to be able to look over at him and catch him staring without worrying about Celeste catching them. If she wanted to, she could actually reach for his hand and hold it if she wanted to. She was tempted to, but she didn’t want Celeste to make a huge fuss about it. But then she also wanted to show Celeste that she could be warm and affectionate in a way she had not seen before. And well, she also wanted to show Harry that she was putting in some effort to get over her fears of letting her walls down.

Well, she had basically let every wall down but there was just a little bit of resistance in her still. That fear that she couldn’t shake completely was constantly swimming around in her head. And then he smiled wide and said something to Celeste, something she didn’t even hear quite honestly, and that annoying little remainder of fear just melted away. And there was no hesitation as she slid her hand across the table and grazed his pinky and he just glanced over and smiled for a second before turning his hand over as he continued chatting with Celeste. Diana felt so relieved when his fingers clasped over hers and then she turned her attention back to the conversation. She could see Celeste smiling wide but she made no commentary and just kept telling her story. After dessert they played a quick round of UNO, which Diana won both rounds much to Celeste and Harry’s annoyance. But soon Celeste was heading up to have a shower and get her things ready for school the next morning. Harry had just gotten Misty into her little travel kennel when Diana came down the stairs with a little pot of concealer for him.

“Here you go. That should fix that.” She said eyeballing the far too orange canceler splotch covering a love bite on his neck.

“Thanks.” He chuckled. “You feeling good?”

“Yeah. So happy.”

“Me too.” He smiled and grabbed her face in his hands and she tiptoed to let their lips meet in a soft kiss. They smiled against each other lips and pecked once more.

“I love you so much, Harry.” She whispered between them and he kissed her again quickly.

“I love you too.” He smiled, “It’s gonna be so good.”

“I know.” She smiled.

---TAG LIST---

@sunshinemoonsposts@anotherdudetteinthisworld @matildasatellitee @sad-avocado @sunflovverharry @cherrysulewski @daphnesutton @gurugirl @reveriehs @ottawaoutlander @jessitpwk @permanentllyharry @here4thefanfics @slutfortigertattoo @angelbabyyy99 @freedomfireflies @behindmygreyeyes @justlemmeadoreyou

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christians-united-by-love · 23 days

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☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Hello! My name is Dakota, and I am many things. I'm Autistic, an avid fan of Warrior Cats, Pokémon, FNAF, TMNT, etc, a cat parent, a college student, genderqueer, arospec, pan, poly, and a partner to two amazing people! I'm also a Christian! I was born and raised under the Catholic faith, even baptized. I don't follow any specific branch of Christianity, and focus more on my relationship to my lord and savior Jesus Christ!

I want to find more people who can relate. I often feel torn between my sexuality/gender and my faith. I constantly see and hear things about how being queer is a sin, or that God hates people like us for simply being ourselves. I see and hear people claim you cannot be a Christian and also LGBTQ+. On the flip side, I've had people not believe when I say I'm queer and especially non-binary because I'm Christian, as if I can't love Jesus and believe in him while also expressing how I feel inside in terms of gender identity. It makes me feel like maybe Jesus doesn't love or want me, and doesn't find me pure enough to ever enter the holy kingdom of Heaven, being able to meet Him, God, and my deceased loved ones who are now angels.

However, I have learned that Jesus and God loves all of us. Jesus died for human sins, so that we are forgiven and our souls are saved, regardless of sin and imperfections. All He asks is that we believe in Him, worship Him, and try to follow His word- Love. I try my best to live my life with love in my heart and kindness in my actions, to speak the language of Christ and to love thy neighbor. While I am far from perfect, that's okay! He does not ask for perfection, He asks for our faith, our commitment, our repentance, our morality, our good intentions, our just actions, and to spread the universal language of love and kindness, aka the language of Christ that anyone from all walks of life deserves. If we try and we believe, and have good, moral intentions to do good and do right by our fellow humans, that is enough for Him to wrap you with His embrace of warmth and light. LGBT people are not an exception to this. We are made in His image! And we are beautiful, wonderful, perfectly imperfect, children of God. Jesus's saved. Whole and beloved.

This blog is meant to be a Christian oriented space, however, people from all religions are more than welcome to interact with posts or DM to say hello! All I ask is that respect and kindness are maintained, and that hateful comments or arguments aren't made- this includes homophobia, transphobia, queerphobia, misogyny, racism, xenophobia, ableism, sanism, fatphobia, islamophobia, antisemitism, anti-Christian sentiment, etc.

I will not be putting "Tw: Christianity/Religion" tags on this blog, purely because 99% of the posts will be somehow related to it. It kinda comes with the territory of being a faith-based blog to begin with. Consider this the official TW for the entire blog. Please block or don't follow if this topic is particularly triggering or activating for you! I want you to feel comfortable, and your mental health comes first! No one should have religion forced onto them- it is something that people will be called to and go to if/once they are ready!

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Other Mod Notes:

-Please use xe/they/she pronouns for me!

-Please use tone tags when addressing me directly! Here is a guide to them!

#christians united by love #christian #christianity #christian positivity #inclusive christianity #lgbt christian #religion #theology #kindness #kindness matters #kindness is the language of God #Jesus loves us all #God loves us all #faith #Jesus #God #introduction #i'm not ashamed #Jesus lover

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critter-genfic-events · 2 months

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This week, we have eight amazing timeskip/future fics recced! Some skip ahead a handful of decades, while some skip ahead centuries, but all of them are wonderfully heart wrenching and hit just the right spot. Check them out under the cut, and as ever, comment or kudos if you like them!

The Matter of Lot 19 by pagerunner (10102,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings:

Keyleth returns to Whitestone after many, many years to see about a unique and precious clock that's up for auction. But she's not the only one intending to bid...and her competitors might not only be interested because of the clock's connection to a certain legendary de Rolo.

Reccer says: Beautiful and Bittersweet and has a lot of great older Kiki and Sun Tree moments.

Library Magic by westwind (2739,General) Warnings: None Pairings:

After the Mighty Nein's adventuring days are over, Caleb travels with a library in an enchanted wagon. He comes across a stranger who's nevertheless familiar.

Reccer says: I liked it

The More Things Change by FinnsKeeper (4922,Teen) Warnings: Major Character Death Pairings:

Beau is hurt. The best chance they have of saving her is asking for her to be consecuted

Reccer says: A heartbreatking but fascinating take on the nein being consecuted

Unexpected and Predictable by alullabytoleaveby (2131,General) Warnings: Pairings: Verin Thelyss & Caleb Widogast

The last thing Caleb expects to hear on a rainy Tuesday evening is the sound of a knock at his door and Verin Thelyss, Ambassador of the Bright Queen to the Dwendalian Empire, on his doorstep. But he should have expected it. After all, Essek had already prepared for this eventuality.

Reccer says: I love this glimpse of Verin, and Caleb being able to explain his relationship to Essek's brother.

What Makes a Home? by literalfuckinggarbage (3188,General) Warnings: Child abuse, abusive parenting Pairings: Beau & TJ

TJ turns up on Beau's doorstep after running away from Kamordah. Beau takes care of her little brother.

Reccer says: It's really lovely seeing an older Beau step up to being an older sister and the relationship between her and TJ is incredibly sweet. They have a rapport, they banter, and the love that's grown between them over the years is plain in each word between them. The ending is so wonderful too and it's a concept I really should rotate more.

cycles by justsleepwalkin (500,General) Warnings: Major Character Death Pairings: Caduceus Clay & Essek Thelyss

Caduceus and Essek take a walk among the falling leaves and have a talk about endings and beginnings.

Reccer says: Beautiful and atmospheric - a perfect moment between the two of them.

From the Mixed-Up Files of The J. Lavorre Catalogue Raisonné by renquise (2328,General) Warnings: None Pairings:

An art history report on the famous artist Jester Lavorre

Reccer says: I adore epistolary fics and this perfectly scratches that itch. Seeing what people might say about Jester and her friends centuries after they are gone is a treat!

a little birdie told me by Ink_Beneath_Her_Fingernails (1647,Not Rated) Warnings: None Pairings:

Kiri absently wonders if the Gentleman somehow had the foresight to keep her name out of their ears, and how he'd managed it for all these years. (Or: The mob boss Kiri we all deserve.)

Reccer says: Mob Boss Kiri - what's not to love?

This is one of our weekly communally-generated gen rec lists. Every week we announce a new theme and allow anyone to submit a fic recommendation. Please note that the summary and content notes are provided by the reccer, and may be different than what the author has provided. Please assume good intentions all around. <3

And hey, anyone includes you!

Next week, we'll be featuring prank fics!

Then, it'll be Ashton focused, Hair Care, and Pre-Campaign!

Any fics coming to mind? Well, then use this form to submit!

If you're looking for some more, check out some fics written in the critter genfic bingo tag, or the older rec lists! Or you can request your own card and join in on the fun!

#critical role #critter genfic rec lists #timeskip au #future fic #keyleth of the air ashari #vox machina #caleb widogast #beauregard lionett #verin thelyss #tj lionett #caduceus clay #essek thelyss #jester lavorre #kiri critical role #the mighty nein

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iamthemain-character · 2 years

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See Me

Anthony expects his best friend to always be by his side, even as he tries to find the perfect wife; what he doesn’t expect is for Y/n to be harboring feelings for him.

anthony bridgerton x best friend! reader, edwina sharma x anthony bridgerton

she/her pronouns

TW: angst

i have an idea for a second part, should i do it?

bridgerton masterlist | part two

It was finally the time no one thought they would see: the season Viscount Bridgerton found a wife. At least Y/n certainly never thought they would see it.

Clutching the delicate paper Anthony had written his “requirements” for a wife on, Y/n tightened her jaw. Across from her, sitting on the chair behind the desk, Y/n’s lifelong friend sat back, trying to evaluate her reaction.

“You cannot be serious.”

“I assure you I am.”

Exasperated, Y/n looked at the viscount. “This is ridiculous.”

Leaning his elbows on the desk, Anthony matched her gaze. “I don’t think there’s anything ridiculous about trying to find an appropriate wife.”

“Of course not, but this list is ridiculous. Women are not like stock, to be judged and evaluated to ensure that you can get a good price.” Y/n got out of her chair, coming around to Anthony as she looked at the list again. “What happened to love? Your parents set such a fine example, yet affection is nowhere to be found amongst your numerous expectations.”

“Love will not be necessary for my relationship Y/n. I simply need a woman worthy of being my viscountess, someone who can perform all the duties required of being my wife.” Taking the list back from Y/n, Anthony set it in his drawer and pulled out a ledger.

Kneeling next to the chair, Y/n set her hand on Anthony’s arm. His head turned toward her, eyes flicking from the hand up to her face. “Just because you have responsibilities doesn’t mean you can’t be happy Anthony. You deserve to be happy, and to feel love.”

For a moment Anthony’s face softened, his lips parting as if he wanted to say something. He looked at Y/n so intently, that for the moment she was frozen in place, not wanting to break this precious moment.

Then just as quickly as the moment had come it passed, and Anthony’s features hardened once again. “Love is merely a distraction, I will not let it interfere with my duties. Not again.”

The last two words were spoken so softly that Y/n wondered if she even heard them. Her heart fell as she realized he must be talking about Sienna, the charming soprano who broke his heart last season. Y/n had known the relationship was doomed from the beginning, but Anthony had been infatuated and as his best friend Y/n tried to be supportive.

Letting out a sigh, Y/n got up off of the ground, smoothing out her skirts. Placing a hand on Anthony’s shoulder, she offered him a small smile. “While I cannot condone your actions, I wish you the best of luck my Lord.”

With that she walked out, leaving the Viscount alone in his study. Once the sound of the door clicking in place reached his ears, Anthony threw down his quill and leaned back, releasing a frustrated sigh. Running his hands over his face, Anthony remembered the feeling of Y/n’s hand on his arm, and how positively beautiful she had looked smiling at him. She was so gentle, so ready to be there for him, and he had wanted nothing more than to take her into his arms and kiss her. But that would mean acknowledging his feelings he had been trying to stuff down for years, and Anthony wouldn’t risk letting love into his life.

———————————————————————

The week that the Sharma’s spent at the country estate with the Bridgerton’s was the longest week of Y/n’s life. While both Kate and Edwina were perfectly lovely people, Anthony and Kate were constantly at each other’s throats and it became difficult to be around both. Then there was the matter of Edwina; it physically pained Y/n to see her with Anthony, knowing that she would one day have all that Y/n would not. So instead Y/n devoted most of her time to the other Bridgerton’s, running around with Eloise or chatting with Daphne.

Soon enough, however, the summer festivities came to a close, and it was time for everyone to head home. Y/n had been convinced by Violet to stay longer, as was tradition due to the closeness of their families. After Anthony proposed to Edwina, however, Y/n soon found herself regretting that decision. Watching the happy couple plan their impending nuptials was slowly chipping away at Y/n’s heart, and so she tried her best to avoid the soon-to-be newlyweds.

It was during one such occasion that Y/n’s plan backfired on her; late one night she had made her way to the library, desperate to find a book to make take her mind off of things. Letting her fingers brush over the covers, Y/n closed her eyes and took a deep breath, enjoying the peace of the moment.

That peace was almost immediately disturbed, however, as she heard the door open behind her. Turning to see who it was, Y/n saw a slightly disheveled Anthony walking through the door. He started for a second, but smiled as he saw it was his friend.

“I see you haven’t lost your affinity for my father’s library.” Anthony stepped forward, offering his hand out as Y/n got down from the ladder.

Ignoring the outstretched hand, Y/n walked towards the door. “Just needed a book, I’ll be going now my Lord.” Y/n’s reply was stiff, but she couldn’t be any warmer for fear she’d say—or heaven forbid do— something she would regret.

“Have I offended you?”

Y/n’s hand on the doorknob froze as she heard Anthony’s voice, so soft, almost sad. Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, she didn’t dare turn around. “Not at all my Lord, I’m simply returning to my bedroom.”

Anthony’s footsteps came closer, and Y/n could feel him hovering around her shoulder. “You have ignored me for a while, and I cannot fathom why.”

“You have been busy.”

“Busy?”

“With your soon-to-be bride, my Lord.” It took everything in Y/n not to spit those words out. She knew she had no right being angry, Edwina was a lovely girl and would make a wonderful wife, but Y/n couldn’t help but feel envious that it would be her by Anthony’s side for the rest of his life.

Anthony laughed and placed a hand on Y/n’s shoulder. “Y/n, you are my dearest friend, I want nothing more than my future wife and you to get to know one another. After all, you will be seeing each other more often.”

Whipping around, Y/n stared at Anthony perplexed. “And why is that?”

“Well, once Edwina and I are married she will be at the house all the time, so you both will see each other quite often I imagine.”

“And what makes you think I will also be at the house?”

“Y/n, you’ve always spent more time at our houses than your own, I-“

“Yes, because I was your best friend Anthony, because I helped you get through one of the darkest times, because I loved your family more than I ever loved mine, because I could not live a moment without you!“ Y/n’s chest rose and fell as she tried to calm her breathing. She turned her head away, mentally cursing herself for letting that slip.

Anthony looked taken aback, unsure of what to say or do. “Me being married will change none of that, Y/n our friendship-“

“I cannot! I-I cannot continue to be your friend. I will always be a friend to your family, and therefore a friend to you, but I cannot be your especial friend anymore. To be a confidant, an advisor, a companion, those are qualities of a wife. And I…” Y/n blinked back tears as she looked at Anthony again, holding up her chin. “I am not your wife. You have chosen Edwina, and she will be perfect, but I will not play third wheel to you both. This is our future Anthony, and now we must live with it.”

Anthony stepped closer, hands hovering over Y/n’s arms, unsure if he should touch her. “Please, do not leave me. You mean the world to me, surely Edwina will understand that I have a lifelong friend-“

“But I will not understand!” Y/n pushed Anthony away, slamming the book she had taken on the desk. “I am tired, tired of polite conversation, hearing your qualifications for a woman, and watching you waste your life! I am tired of pretending that I didn’t want to be the woman you chose, even though I could never be who you wanted me to be, not in a million years. But so help me Anthony I would’ve loved you like no other, I have loved you, but you are so blind and stupid that you cannot see what is in front of you. So forgive me, Viscount Bridgerton, if I do not want to spend the rest of my life watching the man I love with a woman he does not love.”

Eyes glistening with tears, Anthony stood frozen in place. “Y/n….” It was so soft, almost like a plea, and for a moment Y/n saw the young boy who had just lost his father, the boy who she had held in her arms and sworn to never leave.

Coming closer, almost chest to chest, Y/n looked up into Anthony’s eyes. “Tell me you love her, and I will be the perfect friend. Just tell me you love her Anthony, tell me that is why you’re marrying her.”

Anthony’s eyes flicked across Y/n’s face, and time seemed to slow down as she awaited his answer. “I-I…” Y/n’s lips were so close, and he wanted nothing more than to close the distance and feel them against his own. “Love is not in the cards for me.”

Stepping away, Y/n shook her head, and as she looked at Anthony again the young boy she had known was gone, instead replaced by the Viscount. “Then I wish you and Miss Edwina the best. I bid you good night my Lord.” With that Y/n curtsied and left the room, determined not to look back until she made it to the safety of her bedroom.

Back in the library, Anthony leaned against the chair as he contemplated all that had occurred. Tears ran down his cheeks, knowing now that Y/n loved him as he loved her. But he couldn’t tell her that, it was better she thought badly of him then to be forced to feel the pain he was now feeling. No, Anthony would marry Edwina, she would be his viscountess, and he would be the perfect picture of leadership in his family. He had a duty to fulfill, even if it meant breaking his own heart.

#bridgerton #netflix bridgerton #anthony bridgerton #anthony bridgerton x reader #anthony bridgerton x edwina sharma #anthony x reader

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homeless202 · 6 months

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I’m new here and I absolutely love your type of blogs with analysis and meta and long texts~~

I was wondering—is Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship the kind that could be interpreted as romantic?

first of all, welcome and ty! and sorry it took me so long to reply, i hope u're still around anon. now to answer ur question

i'll take this opportunity to share all my thoughts on the topic bc i have Many.

TLDR: it is possible to read it as romantic if you really want to, but it's not meant to (at least not as of right now in the story aka ch.224)

deep dive under the cut as to why

-> can Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship be interpreted as romantic?

i like how you phrased that bc, the thing is, interpretation is very subjective. you're welcome and allowed to interpret things however you want, but in EY&HJ's case, i feel like you'd have to work a lil extra hard to get to that point.

-> is Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship meant to be interpreted as romantic?

this one's easy bc no. objectively Not. the genre of No Home is drama and slice of life (and once upon a time, horror). even if they were to ever end up in a romantic relationship, that's not what the story is about.

when i ask myself what the author's intention is with this story, i'd say it's to (realistically) portray how a young person with trauma would navigate another young person's trauma. and showing how easy it is to unintentionally fuck it up for various reasons: lacking context as to what exactly said trauma is, generally not knowing how to navigate it, their own trauma getting in the way, lacking the necessary resources. take your pick.

think of it like "how should i carry someone else's baggage when i have my own to deal with?" while also keeping in mind they're kids; they often don't have enough experience to know how to help, and even when they know what the right thing to do is, they're not old enough to take (legal) action.

and especially, the most heart-breaking yet realistic thing, when you're just getting to know someone, you can't know everything about them. it's so easy to accidentally do or say sth that cuts or offends when it wasn't meant to. but when they've got their own issues, it's hard not to take it personally (eg. EY talking about HJ's parents without knowing his mom died not long ago in the beginning of the story).

-> what even is Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship??

this one's so funny bc i have no idea how to answer and i'm convinced not even EY and HJ themselves would know how to answer. they're not really friends; they got off on the wrong foot and kept walking with two left feet way too much to call themselves friends. the things that pushed them together the most were the dorms (not anymore) and the same friend group (more or less since EY has multiple).

what fits them best i'd say is "the universe forced us together against our will and now we're stuck with one another altho we hate each other" (<- at least in the beginning) extended with the "misery loves company" sentiment. finding comfort in someone who gets it, even tho they only kinda get it but not really but it works out anyway except it doesn't <- THERE'S NO NAME FOR THAT *cry* they invented a new type of character dynamic smh (i've never read a pairing with so much (romantic) potential only to see them completely fuck up their chance so royally by the end of their interaction EVERY SINGLE TIME. like yeah, enemies to lovers whatever BUT NOT TO THAT LEVEL HOLY SHIT)

they've changed each other, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. they're compatible in the way they understand each other on a deeper level and incompatible in the way they don't.

...however...

this is how HJ thinks of EY: (and also what No Home is truly abt)

and this is how EY feels about HJ after EY found out HJ used to steal as well (aka that HJ isn't perfect like the stuck up bitch EY thought he was at first):

so...

<- -> EY's first impression of HJ was that he was looking down on him and sth like "does this guy have ulterior motives? or is he just that naive being so trusting?" until EY found out HJ wasn't that different from him. after that, EY started admiring HJ for still managing to achieve things in life despite the hardships he had to go through. the type of admiration that can easily (and sometimes does) slip into envy.

since the beginning, EY has helped HJ (or at least tried to) without him knowing. sometimes it worked out, sometimes not. most times EY tried doing sth nice for HJ was (from EY's perspective) in return to HJ trying to help him or doing nice things for him (which, again, sometimes worked out, sometimes not). EY was just paying back a debt to "this stubborn naive guy who keeps getting into trouble and butting into his business. gotta look out for this idiot or he might get scammed." (<- eg. when EY offered to get HJ's money back from his uncle)

he doesn't do it for credit or friendship or out of obligation, he's just doing what he thinks is the right thing bc he doesn't want to owe anyone anything. he can't accept people just genuinely being kind, genuinely caring and genuinely wanting to help. but he's been learning and slowly coming to terms with it.

<- -> HJ first wanted to try befriending EY despite not liking him bc, well, the guy did steal his wallet and stab him in their first interaction. after trying and failing at it multiple times, thanksgiving happened, and HJ started thinking of EY as his underclassman bc he realized EY's just a kid with issues and he should keep an eye on him (discretely bc EY hates pity).

with time HJ has come to understand EY better by going after him whenever he ran off and slowly realized that EY does mean well and has his reasons (as fucked up as they might be sometimes). but his mentality abt EY is still "i gotta push him in the right direction cuz he's my underclassman and i unintentionally got attached to him (somehow??)" (also bc he knows EY already gave up on himself so he needs a lil help to find his way again. also also bc he knows EY is lowkey suicidal and he's scared it'll be his fault if sth happens) <- his care for EY comes from a protective/nurturing (/possibly maybe guilty) place which started when he realized EY was just a kid^^. in other words, HJ still bothers with EY out of a subconscious sense of responsibility/obligation in a way (a good way tho. or at least a way that gets better)

see, sth i struggle with is if HJ thinks he has to or wants to or thinks he should or can't just not help/care for EY. i can't exactly pinpoint where the sentiment is coming from. his face is too blank for me to read sometimes T_T

to summarize: HJ is EY's goal, what EY wishes he could've been. and EY is HJ's 'responsibility' so to speak (bc 'burden' doesn't quite fit since HJ is there for EY willingly) -> EY has a positive opinion of HJ while HJ has a neutral opinion of EY (which is also gradually getting better)

note1: i think HJ's intention (maybe subconsciously) was to be to EY what HJ's upperclassman was to him. aka someone who's there when you need it and can help guide you. it would explain why HJ kept chasing after EY despite not really having a reason to and EY repeatedly rejecting HJ's care/help.

note2: i also believe the 'upper-under-classman' relationship dynamic fits them the best atm bc it also matches the way the story often singles EY out as he's the only second year (aka younger) of the 6 MCs.

-> Romance in No Home?

another thing i should mention is that No Home rarely leaves things open for interpretation. the deepest arguments EY&HJ had were always spelled out for us, to make us understand exactly what the problem was, and how there isn't a good guy and a bad guy. it's just two people with issuesTM.

from what we've seen in the story up to this point, i couldn't pick out a moment where i'd go "here! that's romantic! that's the moment they realized SomeThing!" yk

when it comes to romance specifically, i feel like a handful of opportunities were missed. there are scenes which could've easily been written trough a rosy lens but simply weren't.

exhibit A:

HJ was speechless bc "wow this mf really is actively picking a fight with an authority figure. i gotta make sure things don't escalate" not bc "hoLY sHiT hE's PreTTy. all his fangirls are on to something". however, this only becomes more clear when you keep reading the next few chapters, so i understand how you could interpret it as the latter.

exhibit B:

here they got so close and the moment was so deep bc "woaa he said he believes me. no one's said to me that before!". unfortunately, EY was panicking too much for it to mean something bc of the guilt he felt for HJ trusting someone so undeserving of trust like EY.

exhibit C:

this is maybe the closest we got to romantic between these two. i think this might be the only (or at least first) ever deep interaction between them that didn't end in a fight or misunderstanding. is it meant to be romantic tho? -> ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

-> what do i think?

first, full transparency: i went into reading this story fully expecting it to be a BL and for EY&HJ to end up together. but the more i kept on reading, the more i got the ick thinking about them being in a (romantic) relationship bc, at least from what we've seen so far in the story, their relationship would be so ToxicTM (which i personally don't enjoy reading).

as they are right now, i wouldn't want them to be together like that. like, honestly, you still can't really consider these two even friends; they just tolerate each other if the stars align correctly (altho, i'll admit, their relationship is gradually getting better!!). every big argument they had i thought "god, there's no coming back from that. i'd cut ties so quickly if was them wtf". i still don't know how they managed to keep on interacting, props to them ig.

there's a lot of unresolved issues between them. and a lot of resentment which would not bode well in a romantic relationship. the smallest argument would turn explosive and they'd be, at best, in an on&off type of relationship. they both have the power to break the other and neither would be afraid to use it. they have a lot of history together, which is not always pleasant, so if they ever were to go the romantic route, it would have to be a long way to go.

technically, i could see them in a romantic relationship if they both went to therapy first and talked out all the baggage they're carrying (both individual and shared). realistically tho, what i think will happen at the end of No Home is that either they never cross paths again after high school ends (which would absolutely break my heart Wanan pls don't), or they somehow (unintentionally) end up living together bc they both desperately needed a roommate to pay rent (which would be a hilarious fucking gag LMAO). just, HJ going to uni/work and EY doing his own thing (prolly an actor) while still cohabiting together; hanging out to watch a movie before bed <- (whether platonic or romantic being left up for interpretation)

<- -> in conclusion, from what we've seen up to this point, their relationship is mainly upper-under-classman; reluctant (maybe) friends who tolerate each other but also care (too) deeply. they've changed each other, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. in some ways they're compatible and in others they're not.

all this being said, their relationship is improving and romance between EY&HJ is not impossible, just rather unlikely imo. but, again, interpretation is subjective and u're welcome to read their relationship however you want.

#ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE IF YOU ARE DELULU ENOUGH!! THAT'S HOW SHIPPING WORKS IN GENERAL. IN EVERY FANDOM.#anon. this shit fried my head. it 3.30am and my brain is not braining anymore. i love analyzing these two but goddamn is it HARD.#THERE'S SO MUCH NUANCE TO EVERY INTERACTION THEY HAVE *cry*#life's been hectic and this question demanded i sit down in 7 different sittings to get everything written down. hence why it took me a bit #i tried to write down all my thoughts and i don't think i managed. but i hope what i have here makes sense.#and i also hope i actually answered ur question. i feel like i got side-tracked and possibly missed the target.#no home #no home manhwa #eunyung baek #haejoon goh #ey hj parallels #meta #집이 없어 #webtoon #god u guys have no idea how many times while reading i was like 'omg they're gonna kiss omg pls do'#only to keep reading and going like 'hoLY FUCK PLS DO *NOT*!! get away from him omfg!!'#the whiplash was fucking unreal. i remember honest to god SOBBING at 4am every time they fought <- that first time read was rough #also! if you agree/disagree/want to correct me or just talk about the topic i'm open to discussion/criticism. (just pls be nice abt it ><)#my ask box is open <3

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annoyingvoidzombie · 9 months

Text

Heartstopper 2x01 Family:

Oh shit, parent teacher meet.. everyone is being well students but Charlie is very much "distracted" with other things (Nick Nick Nick)

Loving seeing papa Spring speaks Spanish

You Need To Start Focusing On Your Schoolwork Charlie baby

The Spring's are very not Nick's favourite fans now days

I Love Nellie Nelson

David, so if we'll wait long enough, Nick's going to look sorta like this "rockstar trash"?

Nick isn't comfortable with him and it's shown, how dare you take his Nintendo?

Nothing like drumming to not do your school work huh Charlie?

Obviously, texting your bf is always fun.. "the universe is pulling us apart" well, not in this life time it won't

Running together to Paris with Nellie, now that's a dream we can share my Narlie friends ❤️

Sharing is caring 😔

Imogen and Ben? Now that's seems kind of toxic, don't play with my baby's heart please

P-R-O-M-!

Elle x Tao is not even a slow burn, just burns

I remember taking those damn GCSE's and it was very dreadful

Holding eachother through a pen

Ben is hopelessly in love with Charlie

David kinda trying be a big bro but no, he has his intentions .. and know he knows about "Charlie"

Why in hell dose Charlie needs your approval men? Why?

This hug is everything, I know it's like only few days since last they hugged or saw eachother but my poor gay heart

Jumper, he gave him his jumper, it's basically like giving him an organ

Nellie is so pretty and they play so beautifully and its all your world now, no wonder you want to capture it Nicky boy

They kiss and the world spins once more and wow, they've learned to get in sync which is perfect

Paradise indeed

Wow Elle, you look beautiful ❤️

Elle new friends group seems fun and she's very fitting as always, perfect

Tao's mum is an Elle x Tao shipper, I call it like I see it

Imogen is so very bubbly sometimes wow but don't hurt her Nick! Although you're just trying to protect her

Oh shit, Math, I Felt the very same when I took it

Charlie comes by, that won't end well but the hug and small lift up is so cute

Elle's mum also a shipper "Your Boy" you know it mama

Tao pushing forward but Elle just pull backwards.. it hurts seeing them as that when you knoww but they don't know

Narlie and Nellie cuddles

Since when nice cup of tea makes you an old man?

David, you bitch, stay away from Charlie, he's the sweetest cinnamon roll you'll meet so fuck off!

Oh snap, Nick is out once more but not the way he would like

Fuck off David! Fuck off

You're upsetting Nellie and that's the line! Stop it!

Charlie.. it's not your fault

No Paris?? Noooo

Charlie ED is showing and I feel triggered as shit but deep breaths, I'm okay

At least they'll always have eachother texting

Wowww that's a nice body here Nick, thank you rugby !

He recorded to him.. it's new and it's so very from the heart

It's not easy to come out and we all know that

Tao is so worried for his heart and upset and he doesn't know why.. that so hard

Mama Xu is the best!

Oh Tao baby, finally, the REALISATION! now .. what you gonna do about it??

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heliads · 2 years

Note

hey there!! i would love to see a fluffy imagine where draco starts eating green apples bc it reminds him how the reader smells (sorry if i said something wrong, my english isn't that good yet) tysm

i love your imagines <3

no please i was hoping for a chance to write for harry potter, it's been too long

masterlist

Draco Malfoy is in love, and he hates it. He hates it with every bone in his body, every ligament and nerve and neuron that conspired to make him fall in love with his best friend. There is no chance that this little crush could possibly go anywhere, not with the two of them being who they are the way they are, but still. Draco’s heart persists, and he’s lost on her. It’s terrible.

In a perfect world, this never would have happened. Draco knows full well that there’s only a specific list of people that he could possibly marry, and that this list has most likely been drawn up by his parents when they were a little too nervous and full of envy towards the wealthiest wizarding families that don’t yet include Malfoys.

They’d have to be rich, certainly, his future spouse. Smart, cunning, a Slytherin. If they found somebody that checked all the boxes but was a Ravenclaw, they might unhappily let it slide, so long as Draco provided them with proof that it would work out.

He’s known this all along, that in the end he’ll likely never have any say over the person he’ll spend the rest of his life bound to in eternal contract. That may be why he fell for Y/N, actually, the last shred of rebellion left in him trying to act out before finally being shut down. Still, some part of him has always wondered if he might manage to get out of it somehow.

After all, surely his parents were able to do it, too. Sometimes, Draco wonders how that worked out, if they’ve ever loved each other at all or if they were yet another match drawn up by yet another generation of parents. How far does this go back, this endless tide of formality? All they have is pure blood and old magic, nothing more and nothing less. It is one neverending monotony.

He doesn’t think that was entirely the case with his parents, though. They still talk to each other like they don’t want to ever be without their counterpart, like they’ve never been a chore, not to each other. Perhaps they loved each other and found a way to bend the system long enough to get married. Besides, before his mother was a Malfoy she was Narcissa Black, and she always cherished that little headstrong spark that told her to get what she wanted, no questions asked.

So, looking at Y/N, Draco thinks that he might even have a chance. All he has to do is make it count. Then again, the problem with his crush on Y/N is that it was born of misfortune, and he knows it. Draco loves Y/N like Icarus loved the sun, how a curious finger loves an open flame. There is no world in which he’ll be able to have her, not without burning himself to ashes, but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t want to try anyway. His future has already been prophesied and written out in stone, but Draco will attempt to fight it anyway. Such is the fate of men.

The worst part of it is how close they are, how close they will always be. The worst part of falling for your best friend is that you can’t escape it, no matter how hard you try. Wherever Draco goes, he is confronted with Y/N smiling over some joke, Y/N walking with him to class, Y/N in every corner and tower of this place. He can’t go a moment without seeing her, so how is he supposed to last a lifetime?

She’s across the table from him now, both of them sequestered at the Slytherin section of the Great Hall. Draco has friends on either side of him, but even they aren’t enough to bolster him. Nothing in this world can keep him secure from the feeling that he will be like this forever: always separated by something, a table, a family, anything.

For all intents and purposes, though, she’s right there, right out of reach. Draco knows every piece of her like a puzzle, but he can’t seem to figure out how to make a picture in which they’re both together. He knows how her eyes shine when she laughs, the furrow in her brow whenever she studies. The scent of her perfume teases him now, making it impossible to think about anything else. It’s sweet and sharp, blood curled like roses around a dagger.

Draco’s fingers itch at his sides to do something, anything, but he can’t find physical relief. If he could, he would reach out and take hold of Y/N’s heart now, maybe find a way to make it beat in tune with his, but he can’t. Instead he grabs an apple from a nearby serving tray. It’s green, and reminds him of the shine of the summer sun on Y/N’s tie. For months now, he’s had to hold himself back from fixing the cloth strip even when it’s crooked, because the call to keep his hands lingering on her would be too much for him to handle.

The apple cracks beneath his teeth in a crisp sound, drenching his teeth in sweet sour. The fruit is good for something, perhaps, because it stoppers up his despair when Pansy starts asking about the boy she saw Y/N with recently. Y/N claims that she’s stuck on some boy on the Quidditch team, and Draco looks away hurriedly so she won’t see the flash of pain in his eyes and he won’t see how she glances at him again and again when she says it. The sweet juice of the fruit almost covers up the bile rising in his throat. Almost.

One week later, Draco finds himself in one of many courtyards on the Hogwarts grounds. This one is home to a few twisting apple trees, brought here by some wizard long since dead. This one bears green fruit, similar to the one he’d had the other day. Draco isn’t particularly hungry, but the sweet scent rolling off of the tree in waves caught his attention as he was passing by.

It reminds him of Y/N’s perfume. Walking here underneath the branches, he can practically feel the sweet air pressing against him like a second skin, enveloping him in the sensation that for right now, he is not alone. If he closes his eyes, he can pretend that he is not alone.

It isn’t enough, though, this dream. None of Draco’s dreams ever are. He opens his eyes and stares resolutely at the gnarled tree, the branches as thick as his arm that stretch up to the sky. Aren’t we all reaching for something we can’t have? Even trees, wretched guardians with their centuries of life, still search the sky for the chance that they, too, might touch it someday.

Draco’s nails cut into the skin of an apple as he pulls it from the tree. He stares at it, nestled in his palm like poor Yorick, before biting into it anyway. This one is more sour than the others, it almost burns his tongue with its sharp tang. Draco eats it as he walks, occasionally tossing it in the air just so he can feel it return to him again. There will never be an end to this emptiness, will there? As long as he lives (or as short), he will never find himself complete.

Draco’s affinity for green apples only grows over the next few weeks. He can’t explain it, nor does he truly need an explanation. He didn’t think anyone really noticed, either, until one day he rounds a corner of the school on a break between classes and finds Y/N walking towards him, green apple in hand.

She raises it in acknowledgement, easily drifting to his side as if he’d been her end goal all along. “Figured I’d join you on the trend. These are pretty good, actually.”

Draco feels so surprised that she’s noticed this miniscule change in his behavior that he almost doesn’t know what to say. “What?”

She flashes him a grin, quick as a sparrow. “I saw you eating green apples specifically,” she says, “Although I didn’t get it at first, I do now. These are delicious.”

Draco blinks at her, confused. “Thanks, I think. Were you specifically waiting to find me before you started eating it?”

He gestures at the unbitten surface of the apple, and Y/N laughs. “Well, I figured having the actual prop in my hand would explain the conversation topic. Also, I wanted an excuse to talk to you.”

Draco frowns. “You’ve never needed an excuse before.”

Y/N sighs. “That was before. I don’t know why, but you’ve started acting differently. Figured if I could get you to talk about something as insignificant as green apples, you might stick around for longer than a couple minutes.”

Draco winces. He didn’t think he was being that obvious, but really, it’s been hard to look Y/N in the eyes every day knowing full well that he’d gladly spend the rest of his life with her if she even gave him a fraction of her time. Seeing as she’d never feel the same way, well, what’s the point in all of this?

“Guess I’ve been distracted. I’ve got a lot of things going on right now, as you well know.”

Draco kind of hates himself as soon as he says it. He sounds like his father’s son right now, some sort of arrogant, brash boy who pretends he doesn’t need anyone to cover up the fact that he needs them far too much. His own self-fulfilling prophecy is coming true; Draco is already the son that his parents think he’ll be. The only problem is that Y/N has always been too good for a Malfoy boy, which is why he’s done his best to hide this side of himself.

Y/N arches a brow, as able as ever to see straight through him. “Our most recent round of exams ended last week, so I’d say that you aren’t that busy. Look, you’ve always been honest with me. Can you just tell me if you don’t want to spend time with me anymore? It’ll make this easier for both of us.”

Draco’s breath catches in his throat. How does he tell her that he wants nothing of the sort, that he’s been cutting himself off so he doesn’t encroach on her own freedom? If Draco was half as selfish as Y/N thinks he is, he would have never left. He never would allow himself to live in a world without her, even for a minute.

His pride, however, doesn’t allow him to say a word of that. Draco despises that of himself, that even in this critical moment he still cares about what the nameless masses will think of him, but it’s the truth, and it will never go away.

“I do want to spend time with you,” he manages, “Just like everyone else. I didn’t realize that you felt that way.”

Y/N’s laugh is a little too jaded to be real. “I wouldn’t know that from seeing you. Draco, we have been friends since our first year. Can you at least stop lying to me? I think you owe me that much.”

Draco stares at her, tries to come up with a suitable excuse that won’t completely butcher his heart, and fails. His final boundaries are caving, just as he feared they always would. Draco assumed he would be able to hide his feelings forever, but it makes sense that the one person he would end up telling would be Y/N herself. He has never been able to keep walls up between the two of them, not even in his heart.

At last, he raises his chin in one last attempt at a protective shield, and tells her the truth. “I love you,” he says as simply as he can, “I love you, and it scares me that you don’t feel the same. Too much time getting what I want, I suppose, I don’t know what to do now that I can’t have it anymore.”

He disguises the words behind a self-deprecating sort of smile, the same smile his father wears when politicking with the best. He is a politician’s son, a duplicitous prodigy, and he will never be able to escape the Malfoy legacy.

Y/N is deadly silent, and to spare himself further pain, Draco turns and starts to leave. He doesn’t get very far, though, before Y/N calls out after him.

“Who said anything about you not getting what you want?”

Draco freezes in place, not daring to even turn around. Y/N walks slowly up to him, until she’s standing in front of him once more.

“I know how I feel,” she admits, “and it’s far more than I should. I like you too, Draco, if you’ll have me. Just stop trying to be a martyr about it all, okay?”

Draco stares at her, mind reeling, and then the stormy skies clear long enough for him to smile. “I’ll do my best.”

Y/N smiles too, and at last, Draco knows that he will be alright. Perhaps fate finds itself capable of skipping a generation on occasion. Draco has just found love regardless of status, and it means everything to him. As it turns out, breaking a prophecy only requires a loophole of suitable force, and he has discovered it in loving Y/N. Nothing could bring him more happiness.

harry potter tag list: @rogueanschel, @cameronsails, @neewtmas, @lovesanimals0000, @with-inked-solace, @sher-lokid7, @amortensie

#draco malfoy #draco malfoy imagines #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy oneshot #harry potter #harry potter imagines #harry potter oneshot #draco #draco imagines #draco x reader #draco oneshot #harry potter draco #harry potter draco imagines #harry potter draco x reader #harry potter draco oneshot

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darkgenesis · 5 days

Text

Farewell

Minamoto Teru x Reader!

Tw: angst!

How long have you been in a relationship with him? How long were you in his warm arms and embrace? How long have you missed that?

It was so long ago, yet so long has passed.

Being together with you and him, your fiancé- ah, more precisely, your ex-fiancé really intoxicates you like marijuana. Marijuana makes other people addicted when they consume it. Like a warm embrace at their lowest time.

You're willing to do anything to make him happy and comfortable, make him laugh and also share your blanket of warmth and comfort.

At first you thought like that, your ex fiancé when you met him as a child, you were childhood friends and close friends. Many times you play and can't let go of each other.

Always accompanying you, at your lowest point and giving you a warm hug, the two of you are the ones who share a warm blanket to warm yourself.

The beautiful memories that you keep in your memory and your heart for the rest of your life, you really really appreciate them.

Despite all that, it's all in the past.

What happened? Is this purely your fault? Or purely a destiny from God. You don't know, you don't know about that.

Your fiancé, Minamoto Teru is absolutely perfect in every way. The eldest son of the Minamoto clan, intelligent with his handsome face as well as his beautiful and threatening ocean eyes.

You really like everything he has, and you really love him.

You like this place because of him. He's the one who makes you comfortable with this place.

But after you love it for so long, it all has to end just like that in the place you like.

You maintained your engagement with Teru for so long, it just ended. Teru, his clan broke off his engagement with you, instead Teru got engaged to another girl.

You don't know whether to be angry or what... the problem is, he's engaged to your best friend. Aoi Akane.

You admit that she's really beautiful and cute, nicknamed the school princess. Perfect and gentle, it's no wonder Teru's parents set him up with Aoi.

Ah, right... This also cannot be separated from Teru who often rejects various school girls who confess their love to him that he has feelings for someone. Instead he is engaged to you. You didn't know who that person was, but now it's clear that you definitely know.

It hurts so much to know that his behavior is just his job as your fiancé. You think he really truly loves you.

Really naive.

It's so sad, having to hold these beautiful memories in your eternal arms. Even if you try to let it go, you still feel uncertain.

You're really mad with this place, this country where you have to set foot here because of him... but you love this place as much as you love Teru.

Even though he had promised to love you, a sweet pinky promise tied to your little finger, but now there is no clue anymore.

"I'm sorry, but you're really naive, it's all just empty words to fulfill the engagement between your parents and my parents. I had no intention of making that promise."

His words are like a bullet that penetrates right through your heart. How cruel, this tragedy. This way you stop making him laugh, stop giving him your comfort blanket. Stop giving everything away.

With steady footsteps, you try to let go of him, let him go. Him and also this place.

Go far from Japan and promise not to look back again, and go to another place or your homeland. A wise but also painful decision, with the support of your family and your closest friends.

The stitching of your blanket with it untied, had a nice escape under this warm and bright weather and sunshine.

There's only a farewell word left for this place.

"Farewell, you find someone and I'll find someone"

a/n: I DON'T HATE AOI! I ABSOLUTELY LOVE HER SM!! Just angry and shocked by the latest chapter when she gets engaged to Teru.. haha, fuck u Teru..

This is just a silly scenario in my mind that bothers me in my break time and i'm forced to put it into a story, idk why. But, I was inspired by the song "So Long, London" which is really a beautiful song and my favorite on the TTPD album><.

#minamoto teru x reader #jshk x reader #minamoto teru #jibaku shounen hanako kun #jshk #tbhk #Spotify

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lahooozaherr · 11 months

Text

I Will Always Find You

Chapter 3

Word count: 4.4k

Warnings: Fluff, angst, crying child, death of parent explained but not in detail, grief (I think I have it all but don’t hesitate to alert me if I’m missing something)

MY WORKS ARE 18+ AND NOT FOR MINORS. AGELESS/BLANK ACCOUNTS WILL BE BLOCKED.

My tag list (instructions & requirements)

Chapter Summary: You and the Mandalorian come across a lost child in town and help them find their mother. The event brings some of your grief about your mother and your situation up to the surface, causing him to confide in you as well. The two of you share an accidental, special moment on the way back from an errand of yours, further spurring even more complicated emotions.

A/N: I had to sit and debate for a while on how to end this chapter, so I hope y’all enjoy it! I have some good ideas for chapter 4 that I’m dying to write out but I did my best to not let this chapter suffer because of it lol. The reception I’ve got so far has been so motivating and I really appreciate it. I really want to expand on Din’s character and do him justice.

Song Inspo: Fortress by Illenium

Inspo Playlist

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

Read it on AO3

“Getting in your quota of brooding for today?” You query Mando, standing with a strong gaited stance in the middle of the courtyard. As you approach him, his helmet faces you and nods. You chuckle, stopping briefly to smooth some wrinkles on the front of your dress.

It was a new day, and another one of presentations. You dreaded that, but you were more excited to see the Mandalorian waiting for you in his now usual spot.

You had specific goals today, though. After your obligations for the day are fulfilled, you plan to get to know Mando more. Hopefully, he reciprocates.

Before turning to leave with you, he sticks his elbow out towards you. You weren’t expecting him to offer again after yesterday, as much as it excited you. Your heart flutters. Instead of questioning it, as you almost did, you slip your hand back into the crook of his elbow. You figure if he didn’t want to offer it, he wouldn’t.

Something about him makes your head fuzzy and chest warm. When both of you arrive in the atrium, your hands linger for a few seconds before parting from him. You hum to yourself on your way to your seat. You’re too in your own head to notice.

—————————————————————————

Time went faster that day, which Din had gathered was much to your relief.

You’re now back at that same cafe you were at yesterday, a place that is quickly becoming your new favorite, apparently. The outdoor seating and the weather were perfect for this small escape. The two of you sat in silence while you updated your holopad with notes for today.

You tuck your holopad away and bring yourself to the present, shifting to face Din. He’s leaning in his seat, one hand stretched along the backside of the chair. He notices your gaze and tilts his helmet to acknowledge you.

“Yes?”

“I was wondering….” You look at him more intently, he feels his blood run faster in his veins. “If you could help fill the gaps in my Mandalorian knowledge.”

Din leans back more and hums, “what do you want to know?”

“When was the last time you took off your helmet?”

“This morning. I thought you said you wanted Mandalorian knowledge?”

You smile, “do questions about you not count?”

“Well, if that’s your logic.”

“That’s not a no!”

His memory flashes back to when he removed his helmet as he said goodbye to Grogu. His breathing stops momentarily, that all-too-familiar pang of grief creeping its way out of wherever he’d shoved it backward. He doesn’t notice his body language reflecting that, shoulders dropping and moving his hands to his thighs.

Your change in facial expression from smiling to concerned jerks him back to the moment and he decides to add more to satisfy your curiosity, “I can take it off in private, when I eat or bathe. Sometimes when I sleep.”

Your face becomes more neutral, he can practically see your brain working and visualizing. You’re probably imagining him without the helmet, as those who meet him usually do. He can’t blame you.

“I can tell it all means a lot to you,” you start. Your eyes reflect back something akin to admiration, “I knew you were capable, and seeing you defend me yesterday also means a lot. You’re really amazing.”

Din preened in your praise and you’d never be able to tell. No one speaks to him the way you do, and he’s starting to notice his natural gravitation towards you.

—————————————————————————

Mando indulges your curiosity for a good portion of the next couple hours, well into when Naboo’s sun was setting. Despite your original intentions, you sprinkled in actual questions you had about Mandalorian culture. As much as you wanted to know about him personally, you also didn’t want to go too fast or pry.

He explained the creed, the current state of Mandalorian life and how they’ve been forced to hide.

“Can you go to them? Whenever you want?”

Mando pauses, helm shifting to look away and then back to you, “it’s complicated. I have to find them again since the event on Nevarro.”

“I see.”

You shift in your seat and ponder on what you could ask next.

“Do Mandalorians ever have their own children? Besides foundlings?”

“Yes, plenty.”

“How….does that work?”

Mando immediately catches onto what you’re asking, it would be normal to wonder how intimacy works with Mandalorians, or at least those he was raised by, when they’re so strict about their armor.

“Being seen by your riduur and children is normal and accepted, in privacy.”

Your ears perk up at the new word, “Riduur?”

“In our language that means wife, husband or spouse.”

Your interest immediately peaked, it hadn’t really dawned on you how Mandalorians court each other. Or how they raise families, engage in intimacy.

“Do Mandalorians have weddings?”

“Not exactly,” Mando sits straighter, crossing his arms over his chest in his usual fashion. “We exchange specific vows in privacy, and remove our helmets.”

You’re actively staving off a heat that threatens to spread across your face while discussing this. You take a sip of your cup of caf that you’d been nursing since you sat down.

“That honestly sounds much better than what I’m typically used to,” you clear your throat. “At least, personally.”

Mando tilts his helmet to the side, “you’d rather it be private?”

Realization about the current topic creeps into your mind and that same heat settles onto your features. You suddenly feel bashful.

“Not that I’ve given it a lot of thought,” you play it off. “That just sounds more genuine to me.”

You can feel his eyes but refuse to look at him, you just know if you did the heat would get much worse. Time to change the subject. You turn to leave your seat.

“It’s getting late, should we make our way back to the palace?”

Mando nods in agreement, both of you stand to leave, walking out of the outdoor seating of the cafe.

Taking Mando’s elbow, you walk alongside each other in near silence, save for the usual hustle and bustle of the town’s street. It felt peaceful, with sounds of conversation and traditional music everywhere. You leaned into the Mandalorian’s arm, stealing side-glances of him.

“MOMMA??!! MOMMA!!!”

The shrill cry invades your senses, very close to you. You both stop suddenly, trying to listen to the source of it. Your eyes scan the crowd until you come upon a small child, their face covered in tears.

You quickly abandon Mando’s arm and approach the child, kneeling to meet them at eye level. The crying child lowers their hands from rubbing their teary eyes and you ask with a soft tone, “are you lost?”

The child shakes their head ‘yes’ to answer you. Mando is now at your side, kneeling alongside you.

Mando wastes no time, immediately asking, “do you know where she could be?”

The child shakes ‘no’ again, you glance at Mando with a worried expression. You hold your arms out to the child, asking permission to hold them. They quickly stuff themself into your arms, crying harder into the crook of your neck. You rub their back in an attempt to comfort them and look at Mando.

“We’re going to find her, don’t worry,” you coo while you cradle and shush them.

Mando stands, you follow whilst gently hoisting the child up in your arms and onto your hip.

You run a hand through the hair on the back of their head, prompting them to lift their head from your neck. Their face is covered in tears and snot. Without hesitation, you bring up a corner of the skirt of your gown and wipe their face, whispering softly to them that everything is ok.

“You see this man?” You jerk your head pointing to Mando. “It’s his job to find people. We’ll find your momma in no time.”

The child stares back at him, cheeks rosy and tear stained. They nod, meekly.

“That’s right,” Mando agrees. This seems to help calm the child, no longer hyperventilating as heavily. Their eyes glazed over from crying and a curiosity towards the two of you.

The Mandalorian places a hand on the small of your back and it sends a shiver through you. He notices, almost pulling his hand back until he feels you relax.

“Come on, before it gets too late.”

You nod in agreement, securing the child close to you. Both of you step back into the street in search of the mother.

—————————————————————————

For the next half hour you walk through the street, glancing through shops and corners. You’d look to the child here and there for confirmation, and they’d shake their head again. Just when you’d started to grow more concerned about finding their mother, you hear a cry from in front of you.

“OH! My baby!”

The child cries, “momma!” They squirm and you let them down, releasing them back to their mother, who's running towards you. They both hurriedly embrace, the sight brings small tears to your eyes, your heart tightens in your chest.

A look of relief washes over the mother’s face, she holds her child close and kisses their head several times. When she finally looks up to the two of you, tears in her eyes, she thanks the two of you profusely.

Mando must have noticed your own tears threatening to spill, since he steps forward while returning his hand to your back. He murmurs let me, under his breath but just enough for you to hear.

“It’s no problem at all. We’re happy to have helped.”

The child waves you off as their mother carries them away. You wave back, smiling softly.

“Are you ok?” Mando’s voice startles you out of the haze of your thoughts. When you look at him, a tear finally escapes and travels down your cheek.

“Whoa, hey!” He moves quickly, grabbing both of your arms at your sides and faces you.

“No no, it’s ok,” your voice starts to break, using the heel of your palm to wipe your face. But to no avail, more tears stream down and it feels like a dam has been broken.

“Doesn’t look ok,” he replies, moving both of you out of the street.

A heave travels through your chest although you fight it. You’re embarrassed to be crying in front of him, in public no less.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” you stammer through breaths and sniffle your nose.

“Don’t be,” his thumbs move up and down on either side of you, attempting to comfort you. You almost melt into it. “What’s wrong?”

“I just-,” you say in a low voice. “I think seeing them just reminded me of my mother. It’s nothing.”

“That’s not ‘nothing’ at all.”

Mando quickly looks around then back to you, “let’s get out of here.”

You do your best to compose yourself, as he moves to your side, hand once again on your lower back. His touch is still warm, despite the gloves. The small gesture is more comforting to you than he probably realizes, already visibly relaxing as both of you travel back to the palace.

—————————————————————————

You’re both back in the courtyard in front of your temporary home for the week. But instead of your usual retreat back to your room, Din motions you towards the bench in the middle of the courtyard. In front of the fountain, surrounded by beautiful flowers and plants indigenous to Naboo.

As you sit together, Din leans towards you. You’ve stopped crying but your eyes are still somber. It makes his heart in his chest clench to see you this way.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asks.

Your brow furrows and you smile crookedly, “do you really want to know? It’s really no big deal.”

He doesn’t move, and neither do you. He can tell you’re looking at yourself in the reflection of his helmet. Your eyes travel and then stop.

“I do,” he finally says. And he means it, he needs to know what caused you to cry out of nowhere. He forces himself to practice restraint when trying to comfort you with his touch, although he’s realizing it only makes him want to do it even more.

You tell him about your mother, and how she died. She was very sick for a few years, not even the best doctors on your planet, and others your father had sought out, could cure her. You told him about her kindness, her love for you and your father. The beautiful relationship she fostered with your father, swearing they had to be soulmates.

“It’s a big reason I worry about my father,” you say. “He tries, but losing my mother took a serious toll on him.”

“Your motivation to step into his role makes a lot more sense now,” Din adds. You give a tight lipped smile.

“I told you it was complicated.”

You let that statement linger in the air between you. Both of you are still facing each other. You move your hand to his between you, softly placing it on top of his.

“Thank you.”

Din is almost too caught up in his own thoughts to respond. Seeing how delicately you treated that lost child, you sharing something so personal with him, awakened something inside of him. He considers moving his other hand over yours, but hesitates.

“I was a foundling,” he breaks the silence. “I was found and taken in by the Mandalorians.”

Your eyes widen, but you say nothing. He continues.

“My home planet, Aq Vetina, was attacked by the Separatists. My parents were killed by battle droids. The Mandalorians took me in, and when I was resdh, I took the creed and became one.”

Your eyes grow concerned and your grip on his hand tightens. You open your mouth to speak, but stop, searching for words.

“I wish I had more than platitudes to give you,” you say. “You’ve been through so much.”

Din’s heart is racing in the confines of his chest and armor. He’s not sure what kind of facial expression he’s making and it's a moment he’s glad he has the helmet to conceal himself, not that that exactly matters now. He’s decided to open up to you. It’s scary but also kind of freeing.

“I know it's two very different situations, but I know how you feel, to a point,” he adds. “Although, I can’t really return to my covert at this time.”

“What? What do you mean?”

He goes on to explain his life for the past few years. The Child, fleeing from the Empire. Having to eventually allow the Jedi to take Grogu with them. How he had removed his helmet for him, which now makes him an apostate. But he still searches for them.

Your eyes vary from troubled to intrigue, but that’s about as much as he can tell. His mind is running at full capacity, sharing the events in his own few words. Your hand never leaves his.

You give his hand a squeeze and smile, “thank you for sharing all of that with me. I can’t imagine what that was like, or how hard it is to recount it.”

“I think about it all, a lot…I’ve had time.”

“I’m honored, none-the-less.”

Din feels like he’s floating, and notices he’s leaning even closer to you than when he originally sat down. The two of you had naturally gravitated towards each other. But he shrugs it off, shrugs off the complicated feelings blooming in his heart.

“It’s pretty late now, I shouldn’t have kept you,” he says, straightening his posture.

“It was worth it,” you smile, lifting your hand from his. He finds himself already missing it.

Din stands, offering his hand to you. He doesn’t need to, but he wants to, and decides to let his heart lead the moment. You take it gratefully, using the leverage to lift yourself from your seat. This time, with his hand enveloping yours, he doesn’t let go. Not yet.

“I’ll see you in the morning,” he almost whispers, barely picked up by his helmet’s modulator.

“I look forward to it,” you return, he gives your hand a gentle squeeze and lets go.

He watches you approach your door, and you look back over your shoulder at him. He makes it a point to ensure you're always inside before he leaves.

“Mando?”

“Hmm?”

“I know I don’t have authority to say,” you smile. “But apostate or not, you’re a Mandalorian. And I’m very happy you’re here with me.”

The door closes behind you but he lingers, frozen in position. He squeezes his fists at his sides, contemplating the new development in this relationship.

This could be a problem.

—————————————————————————

The next morning is business as usual, sitting through the event’s activities and conversing with other royalty and political figures. Your social battery was quickly wearing out, especially when all you could think about was finishing up so you could spend time with the Mandalorian.

You’re beginning to notice that the thought of him is with you almost constantly. You even dreamed about him last night, although you can’t exactly remember the dream now. He probably had no idea just how enamored you’d become with him.

Just as you’re about to leave with him, an older gentleman approaches you. He explains how he knows your father and mother in the past, so you stay for a minute to chat. You tell Mando you’ll meet him just outside of the atrium.

Well, that chat took longer than you’d thought it would. Almost half an hour, to be exact. You rush back to Mando, ready to apologize for making him wait.

You see him, back facing you, on the side of the passage out into the garden courtyard.

“I’m so sorry Ma-“

Suddenly, he swings around to face you, placing left arm outstretched to block you. While leaning against his right arm resting on the other side of the passageway, his helmet turned down towards you. He is dangerously close; you would’ve ran into his armored chest if you hadn’t caught yourself before he swooped in to block you. For a minute it was silent, your heart raced and your breathing quietly stuttered. You hoped he couldn’t hear that, but you’d almost sworn you could hear his breathing too.

“I can’t just let you pass,” he finally says, tone with a playful lilt to it.

You quirk a brow at him and smirk, “Oh? And why is that?”

“You have to pay a toll.”

“What is the toll, then?”

He responds with a contemplative hum. You bar your lashes, peering into his ‘eyes’ and ask, “is this how Mandalorians flirt?”

Your unexpected question is blunt and just enough to make him freeze and tense up. You could see his shoulders slightly raise, telling you as much. Taking advantage of the moment, you quickly duck under his arm to exit to the other side, turning back towards him. He faces you, his eyes being met with your devilish grin.

He releases a breathy exhale and shakes his head, “Very cheeky of you.”

“Oh? Am I getting the wrong impression?” You laugh. He steps towards you, and unexpectedly, raises his right gloved hand and brushes his thumb across your cheekbone, “No.” then walks past you, an even bigger grin painting itself across his face, unbeknownst to you.

Now it’s you who’s frozen, face overheated, seeing that cold demeanor of his come down around you (and so far, only you) makes your head spin. You feel an echo of his thumb on your cheek, and slowly bring your own hand up to touch where he did.

Your banter with him, lately, had been progressively becoming smoother with him and it excited you. It felt like you were getting to see a more playful side of him. It was comforting to know he was choosing to show this to you, trusting you with it.

The more you’d paid attention to him, the more you understood him. He wasn’t an outwardly emotional person, he was guarded and kept in check. The beskar armor, of course, being the blinding shell that covered him. But you’d notice his body language, especially the more subtle things he does.

The way his hand caresses yours when it reaches out to you. The delicate but firm feeling of his gloved hand against the small of your back. The way he tilts his head in response to the things you say to him. Lately, even his voice has been having its moments. Like now, his tone is lower and more smooth while taunting you.

“Are you coming, Mesh’la?”

You fake a gasp, recognizing that subtle accent from when he shared some Mandalorian language with you yesterday. “What's that? I get a nickname now?”

You pad towards him, trying to catch up to his side. You peer over him as you both walk through the courtyard.

“Are you going to tell me what it means?”

“Why? And ruin my fun?”

You playfully slap his shoulder and loudly scoff, “you could be calling me something mean this whole time and I’d have no idea!”

A low chuckle escapes his modulator, “I guess you’ll never know.”

Looking forward, you smile, your heart is at ease with him. You wonder if he feels the same.

“I have some errands to run today,” you tell him.

—————————————————————————

Maybe….it’s time to start unpacking your feelings behind all of this. This? What is this?

It’s hard to be around him right now, because it feels like your heart might burst.

And every head tilt. Every flex of his bicep muscle while you hold his elbow. When he matches the energy of your banter. The feeling of his hand on the small of your back or arms.

When he literally brushed your cheek with his thumb.

It was intoxicating and dangerous. But it didn’t prevent you from partaking in it.

You laid in bed, staring up at the ceiling through the dark. Instead of sleeping you were busy remembering everything thus far from this trip. It’s hard to not feel like you’re living in some kind of dream.

These feelings are going to be hard to confront. You’re not in a position that allows for this indulgence.

Something that happened today especially replayed in your mind’s eye. During your errand run into town. And you just couldn’t help the hammering in your ears by the drum your heart was beating.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mando escorted you to a small alteration shop near the palace. You promptly exited, looking over to see him waiting for you, casually leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest plate.

“That was quick,” he remarks, standing back to attention.

“Father dropped it off earlier today for me, so all I had to do was pick it up.”

“What is it?”

You flash him a grin, wiggling your brows up and down, “a traditional Naboo dress, for tomorrow night’s festival.”

Both of you strolled along your usual trail back to the palace. Night was starting to fall, and the sky was a beautiful fading orange as the sun started to set.

“When did you decide to go to that?” He questions, walking alongside you.

“This morning, I decided we’re going to play hooky tomorrow.”

Mando stops abruptly, you come to one as well turning to face him, “hooky?”

Your mischievous expression returns to your face, “yes, I decided I’ve earned at least one day to do what I really want.”

“Oh? And what’s that?”

“You and I are going somewhere I used to visit very often as a child, during the day. Then we will attend the festival at night in time for the fireworks.”

The Mandalorian sighs, exhaling a small laugh in combination, “what does your father think of that?”

“He agrees and supports me,” you all but wink and smirk. “So don’t worry, I’m not getting you into trouble.”

He hums back almost playfully then shrugs his shoulders, “alright, you call the shots.”

You chuckle and press the garment bag of your dress closer to you, turning on your heel to continue walking back.

But you miscalculated, twisting your feet wrong and tripping before you can take a full step forward. You start to feel yourself fall until a solid hand grabs you just in time, twisting and bringing you close.

It’s sudden, and before you can process it, your eyeline is met with the ink black of Mando’s visor only inches from your face. He had managed to grab your upper arm and swing you into his embrace before you could fall.

Your breathing is rapid, heart pounding like mad in your chest so much so you can hear it in your ears. One of his hands has your right forearm as his other arm is wrapped around your mid back almost to your waist, gloved hand settling on your rib cage.

The two of you are silent for what feels like hours, but is really only minutes.Time feels like it’s stopped as you study his helmet and your own reflection in it. You’ve started to realize the position the two of you are in, and heat crawls up your chest and base of your spine.

This level of physical contact is sudden and unexpected, but not exactly unwanted. His arms are deft and strong, he holds you slanted against him effortlessly. The rise and falls of your chests almost seem to match up, bringing them closer to each other like you're caught in his own gravitational pull. Save for the garment bag squished between both of you.

He feels warm. You’re sure he can sense your heartbeat. He has to, right? But he doesn’t say anything about it.

“Are you ok?” His modulated voice comes through the helmet, breaking the spell of the moment.

You snap back into focus, “uhm, yeah. Yes. Thank you.”

Still holding you, he moves you to stand securely next to him, loosening his arms and hand. You almost whimper at the loss of pressure and contact especially when he parts from you.

You did your best to carry on like normal after that, up until parting from him for the night. But it played on a constant loop in your mind.

You want him to hold you again. You want him. You realize that now.

Mando'a translated:

Mesh'la = Beautiful

Next Chapter

@dindjarinsmut @impala1967666 @kittenlittle24 @angel-with-a-heart @leithatnight @i-usually-main-bards-tho @dins-riduur-anthe @fatima-marisa @lalalalemonade11

#the mandalorian #din djarin x you #din djarin #din djarin x reader #din djarin fanfic #din djarin x female reader #mando x reader #the mandolorian x reader #star wars fanfiction #mandalorian x fem!reader #pedro pascal character fanfiction

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