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#tumblr editor leave my read more where i put it challenge!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
allaganexarch · 25 days
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Oh no these asks are GREAT I want to ask like ten of them ummmmmmmm having Restraint: 3 (vibe check) 4 ( 👀 ) 17 (especially curious abt your editing process?? I am so greedy for your tradecraft secrets) aaaaand 19 (I recently researched….. doormats. that made me feel very sane about my choices please tell me about yours)
GOOD EVENING i have finally returned to what is truly important, my tumblr ask box.
3. how you feel about your current WIP
JNSDKJFSDKNJ NOT THE VIBE CHECK but you know, I had a smol breakthrough like two? nights ago that i have yet to actually follow up on LOL. I had this transition section where i was like i need to impart some Vibes and some Character Arc but i'm literally boring myself rn, and I think I have figured out in a vague sense how to make the transition do a lot more work for me, so that's good!
In general I'm extremely excited about some Major Points of the thing, just currently have to do an inordinate amount of sowing seeds for those major points in a way that's like subtle enough that I'm not hitting the reader over the head but also exists enough that the careful reader will pick up on it you feel?
4. a story idea you haven’t written yet
Side note before I even start answering...sometimes I think about how many of my """"""story ideas""""""""""" are just glorified weather metaphors. I am genuinely not sure what happened in my brain to make me like this. What has the weather EVER done to me.
Uhm so anyway since I'm thinking about Stormchaser, definitely a story idea and not just a weather metaphor in a trench coat, why don't I tell you a little bit about my characters because I'm very normal about them.
The first person [main character we are tentatively naming Emily] meets in the city is Nolan, who owns a small bar and restaurant that she won in a messy divorce. She puts on an act of tough-and-wry-and-world-weary, but she's very soft-hearted and has a bit of a savior complex, a bit of that 'i don't want what happened to me to happen to anyone else' vibe.
She has taken in Asher and Aislynn, siblings from a prominent and wealthy family who have had a [very mysterious] falling out with their parents and are thus in need of a place to stay. Asher is guarded and protective, while Aislynn is very open and warm. People often perceive her as naive, but Aislynn actively chooses to see the best in others.
Aislynn has magic, which is the source of many of her problems. (This is like kind of a reveal but the foreshadowing is painfully obvious LOL) Back when I was thinking about Stormchaser as a multi-path story, one major decision point was going to be, in a moment where the player character is hurt (not gravely, but still not in great shape), choosing whether to allow Aislynn to use magic to heal her. It would have a huge impact on the MC's relationships with most of the other major characters, since most of them have very strong opinions either about magic or about Aislynn herself. Aislynn is also the reason I ended up wanting to write the story--I had an overarching idea for the plot, but I got soooo attached to her so quickly!
17. talk about your writing and editing process
as we all know my writing process is just getting possessed by some sort of weather-related entity and then not sleeping until well after the sun has risen, so I think that's pretty clear and doesn't raise any sort of questions or concerns.
if no weather entity possession, my strategy has become "just force yourself to write the painful and clunky sentences at the speed of molasses and then look at it again tomorrow" -- because most of the time the next day I can fix what was clunky really easily bc I made space in my brain by getting the ideas down, and sometimes, extra special treat, I reread what I wrote and it's literally not even bad I was just in a mood LOL.
I feel like a very large percentage of my editing is just being extremely insane about word choice. Sometimes I go back and forth on word choice/word order/very very minor sentence structure things literally long after the thing is published and I am trying to tell myself to let it go. But tbh I don't really have a process for this, it's just what jumps out at me when I reread it as being awkward or not quite what I was going for. I'm probably like this because I used to be such an insufferable snob (used to be!!!!) and needlessly chose so many ten dollar words that I think I have a better-than-average sense of when simpler language is better vs. when you need a more complex word to describe the thing. So it sort of depends on the character whether I do a lot of deleting or adding of extra fluff and filler words LOL.
I'm alllll about limited POV and creating a headspace/thought pattern for characters, so I do a lot of thinking about what the specific character knows, how the specific character would express something, or whether she even has the language for what she's experiencing. I really love finding ways of conveying an emotion that the reader will recognize but the character doesn't!!
On a more macro scale I think I do a lot of, like, "this section is boring me. why?" In a story you really don't want anything that's doing nothing, and you definitely don't want a whole section that's not doing much. Sometimes because I try to make my dialogue as natural as possible the conversation starts to kind of wander LOL, and so I have to be like okay hold up what are we talking about what needs to be established here. And then usually jump back a bit and figure out how to lead the conversation in a more pointed direction.
And a lot of the time idk how much transitional stuff to include, so I'll be off on some rambling journey like uhmmmm do I need this??? when do we get to the fun part???? Which, like, not to say the fun part will be easier to write or anything, but a lot of time that feeling of boredom is bc what I'm doing either isn't necessary and can be accomplished in a way that's more fun for me personally OR it's fine it just needs to be pulling a lot more weight in what it's telling the reader. I find I sometimes get caught up in, like, a story beat that would "make sense here" as opposed to a story beat I personally like.
Like, as an example, I've been thinking (for soooo long yes i know) about how to continue the chance you take, and I remember I put in my notes that like a sparring scene would make sense, where you know it's all a metaphor and there's some quippy dialogue or w/e. And ik a lot of people like that kind of scene! And idk, sometimes I do too! But like........I don't want to do that lol! And in fact I think it doesn't actually fit with the vibe of the story, which is so much less about the violence surrounding it and so much more about the quiet moments in between. But I'm literally just thinking this now as I'm typing this. Like I didn't have a good reason for why I didn't want to progress the story that way until literally right now.
Which I guess leads me to another very important editing tool: pacing my kitchen like a crazy person explaining the problem I'm having to myself so I can try to talk through why it's bothering me LOL! as you can see it's extremely efficient and time-sensitive. six to ten business days turnaround for sure.
19. the most interesting topic you’ve researched for a fic
chickens :)
I'm genuinely drawing a blank LOL, I've definitely looked into a few things I can vividly remember (boats/ships and how crews and shifts work for TCYT, horse riding/cart pulling for scorched earth, how animal testing works for uhmmm that one moicy fic, oh and I remember i looked a lot into bird symbolism for the prisoner LOL) but I think mostly what I do is intensely study the source material, and I haven't run into that many situations where I felt like I needed to make sure I knew about something in the actual world and not the fictional one LOL! Wow I'm boring! I want to know about doormats!!!!!
fic writer asks!
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cherokeegal1975 · 1 year
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This is a link to the first chapter of my novel where you can read it for free. It's also available on Amazon. I did get some help with the first five chapters as far as editing, but they don't appear in the published copy. At least not yet. I'll get there when I can finally afford an editor, those services aren't cheap. So far, a little over $300 is the lowest price I can find.
This story is a full-blown novel. The link to the next chapter for every post is always in the description below each chapter. Links to where you can find the paperback book are posted in the description of the first chapter.
I seek a broad range of opinions of my work. It's not often anyone stops to read my story. I'd simply post the chapter here, but Tumblr won't let me. So, all I can do is a link.
There's no fetish, no kink and it's heterosexually oriented simply because that's what I'm into. There's at least two strong sexual themes, but they're not the main focus of the story, only briefly mentioned. Nudity, but most of it is innocent. Yes, this is an mpreg. Why? Because I went on a DeviantART and YouTube dumpster dive and hated most of what I found there in that genera. So, I challenged myself to make my own to see if I could make a good story out of what most people turn into a major plot stinker. Simply put, most of what I found by other creators was extremely stupid and often disgusting.
For those looking for instant gratification in story, this one will take a little patience. On DeviantART, the first chapter gets noticed, but I don't think people actually read it. It's more like, favor it to save it for later...then forget about it. The hopping around though time for the first chapter might put people off a little, but I refuse to change that. It works for this book. The whole book isn't like that, only the first and fifteenth chapter. The rest is linear...but there is a two chapter flashback also...so I don't know. What I mean is that apart from chapters 1 and 15, the narrative is linear.
Certainly I don't get many people leaving honest feedback on it. I learn from them and I keep them in mind. That way when and if I ever get around to writing another story, I'll remember the comments and use them to help improve my writing. That and I just love feedback. It's better than a vacuum of silence. Especially since writing is harder than drawing.
I've had my work's flaws all pointed out to me in general, so that's how I'm aware I need to hire an editor. But, I'm sure there's no spelling mistakes or no grammar mistakes. It's going to be a long time before I can get more help for my work, so please give it a chance, warts and all. I'd love to hear from you and what you think about it.
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rurpleplayssims · 2 years
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Check In Tag
I was tagged by @curiousb! 🥰
Thank you for the tag, I was intrigued by this one when I spotted it doing the rounds. I’m going to put my answers under a the Keep Reading belt as I’ve decided to write a novel again! 🤣📝
Why did you choose your URL?
A couple of schoolfriends called me Rurple when I was in my teenage years because I used to dye my hair a reddy purple colour (hence Rurple, but it’s better than Pred! 🤣) I saw other Simmers using the ‘playsSims’ tagline and I didn’t have any other ideas. I’m glad I used it as I can now use the addition for my CC Finds blog which is RurpleFindsCC.
How long have you been on Tumblr?
RurplePlaysSims has been on Tumblr since February 2021. 
My RurpleFindsCC blog has been on here since I decided to separate my CC from my main blog which I'm a lot happier about, which I’ve done since September 2021. 
I’ve got another blog on here which I’ve had for a few years but hardly ever use (not sure I know the username and password..) but that was mostly to reblog BBC Sherlock memes and funny things. 
Do you have a queue tag?
See now, I’m not quite sure what this means. I am guilty of having quite a long queue (it’s 76 posts long atm!) but is this to do with the mass post editor to move them to the queue? If so, I don’t use it. 
Anything thing that is an actual CQ post and therefore part of the story, gets written up and then moved to the queue chronologically. That’s why I got so annoyed when Tumblr lost three of my posts a few months ago because when they were retrieved, I had to post them out of sync. 
I made the tags so because then it’s easier for someone to read the entire story (if they wanted to, that is some undertaking with over 1500 posts!) by just clicking the ‘Next Page’ button.
Why did you start your blog in the first place?
I’m not quite sure. I think I was bored one day and stumbled across some TS2 stories and I fell in love with them. I think it was @holleyberry’s Dossanina story which first introduced Sim stories taken with screenshots to me. 
I was already very familiar with TS2 machinima and series on YouTube as I once tried a go at making some (They are so embarrassing to watch back now as my spelling was AWFUL and I clearly had no access to a spellchecker!) I think those videos are still live and you’re welcome to laugh at my attempts of a riveting story.🤣 Just PLEASE do not judge my ability on them! 🙈 I was 13/14 years old when I was making these. I had to borrow my parent’s computer, which was a very old Windows XP and I was restricted in when I could play Sims. So the videos were very...cringe for me to watch them back. Seriously, they were awful. You can find them for yourself, no way am I tagging them here! 🙈🙈🙈
My game was so poorly organised back then, from my custom content hoarding and my Downloads folder was a DISGRACE. Nothing like the strict regime I have nowadays. 
Why did you choose your icon/pfp?
Well it was originally a picture of myself but  some people made comments on how nice I look. I am AWFUL with appearance-related compliments. 🙈 It could’ve been worse I know but that’s just how I am.
So I changed it to one of the pictures I’d done with Althea Campbell, the founder from my BaCC in this challenge. 
I like how people only know me on here as a creator and who likes to issue praise where it is well deserved. I know how much people’s love of your craft/story will motivate you to do more. I know that I’d have stopped CQ ages ago if people didn’t care about it. 
As you’d see (if you’re ruthless in tracking them down!) with my TS2 attempts, nobody watched them so I gave up with no motivation to carry on, hone my craft and build a skill. 
I love to write (as the length of this post clearly says!) and I love how most of you only know me via my story and the comments I leave. 
I love that, whilst my family know I have a blog and a story on it, they won’t read it or leave comments. I’m cool with that. It gives me more freedom to write because I’m then not worried that if I write that a character does something, the people who know me might wonder if I’ve done that thing in the series. Hopefully that makes sense.
Why did you choose your header?
I chose the header after I decided to make my main blog strictly for the story and behind the scenes content for Campbell Quay BaCC. So I took a (then) current picture of the neighbourhood. 
I am never changing it as it shows how empty my neighbourhood was back then compared to now. 
What’s your post with the most notes?
Apparently, according to Tumblr Top, it is this post which was a reblog of the original post for me completing Campbell University (154 notes). 
In second place, which still gets likes and reblogs to this day, is this one where I recommend people to read the Dossanina  story I mentioned above (114 notes). 
How many mutuals do you have?
Is that when you follow a blog that follows you back? How the hell do you check this?! 🤣 
I know it’s quite a lot as whoever follows me, if they post Sims content (preferably TS2) I will nearly always follow them back in thanks. 
How many followers do you have?
I have 376 followers.
How many people do you follow?
I follow 797 blogs.
Have you ever made a shitpost?
Yes! 🤣 Just follow ‘random Jess note’ tag on my blog and you’ll see some. Beware of the ones that have ‘RANT’ as well. 
How often do you use Tumblr each day?
I’d use it in my sleep if I could. 🤣 
I have had an active queue for months now so even if I’m not looking at the site on my app or computer, I still get notifications of blogs I follow and if people leave likes or replies in my posts. 
If I’m home for the day and have nothing planned, I’m on Tumblr, either editing some new posts or backing up my story on another site.
More information soon when I get most of the story inputted. It’s taking FORVER as I have to manually copy and paste the text and pictures individually but I’m scared that my blog might be accidently(?) deleted like some Simmers have of late. 
Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?
Not that I am aware of, I don’t like fights of any kind. 
I like to keep the peace. If I’ve pissed any of you off, for goodness sake tell me so I can explain or apologise! 
How do you feel about ‘You need to reblog this’ posts?
It’s a combination of tempting fate and “With all due respect, don’t tell me what to do.” 
But, in special circumstances I will reblog without question. But as a rule, I like to keep my blog for just my story content. 
Do you like tag games?
Do you really think I wrote all this out because I didn’t want to? 🤣 
I think I’ve completed all games and challenges that people have tagged me in thus far. 
Do you like ask games?
Did you not read the previous answer? Ask away. 
I try my best with WCIFs but I’m not perfect.
Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous?
Well I mostly see Simblr-Tumblr and in my eyes they are the following:
@deedee-sims
@plumbtales
@lesyasun
@linacheries
@veranka-downloads
@pixeldolly
@fanseelamb
@mdpthatsme and so many more!
Do you have a crush on a mutual?
No, but every Simmer I meet on Tumblr are always very kind and supportive which means the world to me.
I’m going to tag anyone who wants to have a go! 🥰📝
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sleepless-rain · 4 years
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Seijoh’s graduation trip plans
Translator: Leo | Sleepless-rain | Leoppii Editor: Troy  Esaki | Kahluaplusmilk
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“Continue on unwaveringly.”
Those were the words that Iwaizumi Hajime had said to Oikawa Tohru, who had stopped to turn back and look at him. It was fall at the time.
“You’re my partner and an utterly amazing setter.”
On this day, Aobajousai High School had lost in the semifinals at the Miyagi representative game of the spring volleyball tournament. And starting from that lost match, the third years were to retire.
Iwaizumi and Oikawa weren’t only the captain and vice-captain of the volleyball club.  They had been together through junior high school and elementary school, more than half of their lives���up until now— was spent together on the courts as partners.
Iwaizumi’s words were blunt, unembellished and held no lies.
“Even if this team changes, that will not change. When the time comes I will take you down.”
Oikawa straightened himself and accepted Iwaizumi’s words of passion and friendship head-on.
“…Bring it on.”
And this story takes place a few months later.
TRANSLATORS NOTE: Please do NOT repost this translation ANYWHERE. If I see the whole thing elsewhere I will stop translating novel chapters and delete this one as well. Sharing small snippets are okay but not the whole thing. Please link back to this tumblr post if you want to share it.
  “I want to eat curry… So how about India?” said Iwaizumi, wiping the sweat off with his arm.
“You serious?”
“The bar is suddenly set way too high.”
Matsukawa Issei and Hanamaki Takahiro grimace, sweat dripping from their chins.
It was followed by, “But I like naan.”
“I totally get you.”
“When you want to eat naan, you drop by the curry restaurant.”
“I don’t get you.”
A stream of consciousness about curry overlapped with one another until Hanamaki cut in, wringing out his towel, “But you know…Hawaii would be good. How about we go snorkeling?”
“That sounds good, ‘specially in this situation. Deciding between curry and the sea, the latter sounds far better,” Matsukawa answered, ceaselessly wiping his sweat and wringing out his towel.
Iwaizumi, who had suggested India clicked his tongue, “Tch.”
It was hot in here.
Actually, rather than hot it was boiling hot. Yearning for the cool blue sea over a curry filled with spices was no surprise.
As to why they were in a highly acclaimed sauna.
                                                            *** 
In their third year of high school, winter.
With no classes to attend and it being a long time since retiring from club activities, the former volleyball club third year members of Aobajousai High School, Iwaizumi, Hanamaki, and Matsukawa were left in a daze, and with so much free time they made their way around to various large bathhouses.
After making a big fuss over the electricity bath* with a waterfall feature* they headed into the sauna together. While sweating, the brainless discussion of “where would you go for your graduation trip? Assuming that money wasn’t an issue” blossomed: a way to occupy their free time.
“But you know I’d like to go to Las Vegas.”
“Because you want to gamble?”
“But it’s only fun if you actually have money.”
“Ah, there it is: the forbidden word,” Matsukawa pointed out in response to Iwaizumi’s frank reply, but he thoughtfully considered an alternative.
“If it isn’t a casino… there isn’t really any other place I’d want to go there. Okay then… hmmm, ah. Pandas. A tour of the panda’s homeland, China.”
“Well, if its pandas,” Hanamaki replied to Matsukawa’s panda suggestion, clapping his hands together. “Did you know there’s a whole tonne of pandas at the Wakayama Zoo? I saw it on TV recently.”
“Wakayama?”
“Oh, I bet you don’t know where Wakayama is, Iwaizumi.”
“Shut up.”
Wincing at Iwaizumi’s lack of affection, Hanamaki pulled himself together: “Anyway, even my towel has gotten hot so I think it’s about time to get out.”
“Same here, I can’t stand it anymore.” Matsukawa stood up, “What about you Iwaizumi?” he asked.
“I’m staying.”
“Okay, don’t push yourself.”
“Cold bath?”
“Cold bath.”
The two friends agreed whilst pushing open the heavy wooden door and exiting.
Left alone in the sauna, Iwaizumi crossed his arms, staring at the thermometer on the wall. There was nothing else to do.
He wasn’t sure how long he stayed like that, sweating buckets until he muttered, “Las Vegas, huh?” before taking his towel and violently wiping his face and his head. “I guess I really am a bit like a kaiju.” He said to himself, standing up and leaving the sauna drenched in sweat and in search of water.
                                                               ***
 After enjoying the baths and the sauna, the three tired boys found themselves in the large tatami room. Lined with tables and sitting cushions the room doubled as both a resting and a dining area.
An old fan swung its neck unsteadily, blowing a breeze in their direction. There seemed to be a TV somewhere in the room, as the sounds of the golf match commentary could be heard faintly. There were people watching the TV with a few beers, people lying down reading the comic books provided, and children playing the games they had brought.
Everyone in this bathhouse resting area was relaxing and doing as they pleased. And as for these three boys, they were testing the limits of their stomachs.
Of course, it didn’t start off as such a vicious scene. It was meant to be a light meal but there was a reason as to why it turned into a bloodthirsty battle.
After getting out of the baths and slipping into the jinbei* resembling pajamas, the three ordered a light meal, curry, and ramen, while resting. The place ran on a self-serve system, where you went to get your food from the counter when the number buzzer you were given went off. However, the pork cutlet curry Matsukawa had ordered still hadn’t been called out.
“You two eat first, or it will get cold and soggy,” Matsukawa, who was lying on the ground reading manga, told Iwaizumi and Hanamaki who had gone and returned with their curry and ramen.
“Then I’ll dig in.”
“Sorry.”
Without holding back the two took their spoons and chopsticks in their hands and began eating.
“I knew it, curry is the best.”
“That’s not even Indian styled curry! You’re okay with that? ”
“Yeah, because it’s curry.”
The boys continued to talk at the table, and everything was still alright. The trouble was yet to come.
Slurping his ramen Hanamaki called out to Iwaizumi beside him, “You were in there for a real long time.”
“Hm?” Iwaizumi responded with the spoon still in his mouth.
“You know, in the sauna.” He replied.
“Oh that. Isn’t that amount of time normal?”
“Are you serious?”
Their conversation ended there. Both of them focusing on the curry and ramen before them. It was just a meaningless conversation however someone reacted unexpectedly.
“Normal, huh…?”
It was Matsukawa, lying on the tatami.
Matsukawa couldn’t let their conversation – Iwaizumi’s “normal” - slip from his ears.
 “‘Normal’ he said. Doesn’t that mean that the two of us that left earlier are weaker than normal?”
 At that moment his buzzer went off beeping.
Matsukawa got up, “Oh, it’s finally done.”
Hanamaki eyed him whilst sipping the ramen broth from his spoon and asked: “Yours is the only one that took so long, what did you order?”
“Me? Pork cutlet curry.”
“Oh, one of those things that take time to fry… wait, that’s not something you eat after getting out of the sauna!? Your stomach must be strong.”
Upon hearing that Matsukawa glanced at Iwaizumi who was drinking water. And as if he were waiting for it, a smug smile crossed his face, “You think so? Having pork cutlet curry is pretty normal.” He taunted, picking up the beeping number buzzer to get his pork cutlet curry, ambling towards the counter. Someone glared at the figure strangely overflowing with confidence.
“‘Normal’… you say?” It was Iwaizumi, spoon in hand. “Normal? Then me eating plain curry means I’m weaker than that?”
The golf commentary from the TV, the manga, the faint breeze blowing intermittently, the curry and ramen, all of it relaxing and warm. This heaven-like peace enveloping the resting and dining area unfolded into a sudden battlefield.  
Iwaizumi stuffed the remainder of his curry into his mouth vigorously before slowly standing up. “I’m going to get extra gyoza,” he said.
Taken aback by the sudden dangerous aura emanating from Iwaizumi, Hanamaki winced “S-sure…”. His hands stopped over his ramen, the atmosphere created by former ace Iwaizumi could have easily been mistaken for the middle of a match.
And soon after Matsukawa returned with his tray of curry.
“Huh, where’s Iwaizumi?”
“Mm? Oh- uh seems like he went to get some gyoza.”
“…I see.”
Seating himself leisurely onto a sitting cushion, Matsukawa took his spoon in his hand and sighed, “Facing off pork cutlet curry with gyoza, pathetic.”
“What? What are you talking about? Both of you have been acting really weird since a while ago! Is this some kind of inside-joke?”
Hanamaki put down his chopsticks without thinking and upon noticing change in Matsukawa’s attitude Iwaizumi had returned with a “hey.” The clear plastic container in his hand contained eight gyoza. On top of that, another box stuffed with 200grams of chicken karaage. Seeing the extra meat, Hanamaki just feigned a smile.
“Hey, I know you went to all the trouble of buying that but I’m full from the ramen, I can’t eat that.”
Iwaizumi didn’t even spare Hanamaki a glance, staring down unblinkingly at Matsukawa who was eating his cutlet leisurely in declaration of war, “All of it is mine.”
Matsukawa stared back, putting down his fork and rising to his feet to accept Iwaizumi’s challenge, “Bring it on.”
“What is it with you guys!? Matsukawa, why are you standing? Sit down!”
The downside of war is that there are always innocents who get dragged in. And without listening to the confused Hanamaki, the pointless battle began.
Thirty minutes had passed. After eating his pork cutlet curry, yakisoba, grilled onigiri, Matsukawa now sat with what he claimed ‘dessert’, slurping down tapioca filled milk tea.
An exhausted Hanamaki asked: “Isn’t tapioca made from some sort of potato, doesn’t that make this more of a food than a drink? Why are you eating little balls of potato after a meal?”
“Because they were selling it.”
“Even if you want to look cool drinking that, you don’t.”
“I’m not trying to look cool.”
“You are! I heard you when you said ‘pathetic’ and all that other stuff. ”
While Hanamaki and Matsukawa were going back and forth, Iwaizumi returned with another plate piled high with freshly made fries.
“Potatoes! More potatoes! Why are you both eating piles of potatoes!? It’s practically another meal! What’s with you two?! My stomach hurts just watching you. I’m begging you both, please stop!”
The bystander Hanamaki had given up and Matsukawa, who was probing for pearls with the end of his straw, and Iwaizumi, who was throwing a handful of fries into his mouth, stopped. They looked at each other and nodded.
“Let stop it here then since you’re insisting.”
“Right.”
“You’re pretty strong.”
“Same to you.”
Hanamaki glanced at the two shaking hands over the good showdown they had had, clutching his stomach and rolling on the tatami groaning, “The damage runs deep…”
Having mercy on Hanamaki, who suddenly gave in, and having come to terms with the power they both held, both of them turned back to the table. Instead of eating at top speed they ate at the pace they pleased, sipping tapioca and munching on fries. This peaceful scene is what you would have called a warriors break.
“I think I ate a bit too much.”
“It’s because we haven’t been exercising recently.”
“I guess so.”
“How about we show our faces at club practice tomorrow?”
“Sure.”
After eating and drinking until they were full, they leant against the wall, satisfied. It was a warm, comforting moment. Taking a hot bath, unwinding in the sauna, eating a good meal, the fan gently carrying a breeze towards them— It was a moment of bliss.
Eyes closed and exhaustion finally settling in, everything was disrupted by music playing loudly through the speakers in the resting area.
“Huh? Seems like something’s starting…” an almost asleep Hanamaki woke up, startled.
“Look at that…!” Eyes wide, he pointed out at the open area outside.
Iwaizumi and Matsukawa stood up to look over.
A low stage had been unknowingly set up, a group of elderly people who had just gotten out of the baths and enjoying a beer gathered around it, microphones held gleefully in their hands. The sound of unknown old men singing enka songs roared through the resting area.
“I didn’t think they’d have karaoke here.”
“I can’t sleep like this.”
“This blows.”
For these three high school boys with little life experience, and it was a little too early to be battling it out in enka songs. Slipping past the old men excited by songs of mountains and waterfalls, death and killing, the three boys shuffled out of the resting and dining area, leaving it all behind.
                                                              ***
Escaping the enka hell the three boys, wearing the indoor slippers, stumbled upon an arcade.
“Oh, they have the alligator game.*”
“Ready for the hunt.”
“Don’t you think it’s a bit cruel to hit their heads?”
“That crane game has a PS4 in it.”
“There’s no way you could win it.”
Familiar sounds and music filled the room. The three wandered aimlessly around the to all the old crane machines until Iwaizumi suddenly called out, “Oh! Let’s play this! Have a showdown!”
In front of the eager Iwaizumi was a punching bag machine. But Matsukawa wrinkled his brow at the effort of it all, “No way, I hate these power type games. You’re going to thrash us anyway Iwaizumi.”
“There’s no winning or losing in punching. It’s to test yourself.”
“You said showdown before.”
It seemed like they were about to break down into another fight but Hanamaki, blue-faced, cut in, “Sorry… but I… the moment I use any force I think I’ll have ramen spewing out of my mouth.”
“Don’t wanna see that.”
“If that’s the case, how about we head home? Since we’re tired.”
It was when the three went to check the time that they saw it.
“Oh.”
Hanamaki pointed to the back of the arcade.
“Damn, air hockey!”
“Huh?”
“Oh, it really is! Air hockey! Air hockey!”
At the back of the arcade was an air hockey machine, old and clunky like the rest of the machines.
“Oh crap! How long has it been since we played air hockey?”
“I haven’t played since junior high!”
“Hurry up, let’s play! How much is it?”
“I won’t lose!”
“Who versus who for the first game?”
Wanting to spew ramen from his mouth, whether someone was going to win or lose, all of that was forgotten as the three hurriedly rushed to stuff one hundred yen into the machine. And thus the first round of the air hockey tournament began.
                                                               ***
 “The bathhouse was unexpectedly interesting.”
“We’ve discovered a great place.”
“Right?”
They had eaten to their heart’s content, played around like children before heading into the baths once again to wash off the sweat. With satisfied faces, they headed home on the free shuttle.
“I didn’t even think it would be this interesting.”
“We spent all our money on the air hockey machine though.”
“We exchanged for so many coins.”
After reminiscing the day using only the words “sick”, “seriously”, and “fun” they eventually quieted down. Whether it was the swaying of the bus, the fatigue from the baths, their full stomachs, or the soft orange light of the setting sun filling the bus that had the three nodding off, no one was sure.
 Staring blankly out the window Iwaizumi mumbled, “... If only he had come.”
Upon hearing those words Hanamaki and Matsukawa’s eyes flew open, despite almost falling asleep.
“Huh, by ‘him’ you mean… Him?”
“If you say ‘him’ there’s no one but him.”
“Him… yeah him…”
The three of them exchanged glances nodding in agreement “Him”, “yeah him.” And bursting out into laugher but it only took a moment before they stopped.
“No, it’s better that he wasn’t here.”
“I guess.”
“It would be pretty wild if he were.”
“But he definitely would have stolen the microphone out of the old lady’s hands.”
“Gotta do a duet I guess.”
“And then he’d get a tonne of candy and mikan.”
“Definitely.”
Right in the middle of their heated talk about ‘him’, the phone in Iwaizumi’s pocket rang out.
“Hm?”
Iwaizumi glanced at the notification, letting out an “ugh” and leaning back, the other two asked what it was and Iwaizumi showed them his phone.
“It’s from him.”
It was a message from him – Oikawa Tohru.
“Really?”
“Hell, he might be hiding in here watching us.”
“Surveying us huh.”
Of course, it would have been unlikely, but perhaps it wasn’t with the person called Oikawa. You could say that he was mysterious, or rather incomprehensible, whichever it was he was inexplicably terrifying.
After looking around the windows and the bus to confirm that Oikawa wasn’t there, Hanamaki let out a sigh, “So what did he say?”
“He just asked ‘Whatcha doing?’ Doesn’t he have anything else to do?”
“Tell him we’re in Las Vegas, send ‘In Las Vegas now’.”
“Idiot.”
“That’s stupid.”
While they bantered they took a photo, bathed in the setting sun, and sent it a message along the lines of “Coming back from Las Vegas with Matsukawa and Hanamaki”. And a reply came back immediately, obviously addressed to all three of them.
“Here we go, ‘ Is this Las Vegas at Naruko Hot springs*?’. Why Naruko hot springs? Is it the kokeshi? ” Hanamaki laughed before his expression changed, “Wait how did he know we went to the baths? Is there a place called Las Vegas in Naruko?”
Both Matsukawa and Iwaizumi replied immediately with serious faces, “Of course not.”
“Oh but hot springs sound good too,” Matsukawa added, stretching in his seat.
“Hot springs, huh…That means table tennis and not air hockey.” As Iwaizumi smirked his phone rang again.
“No fair! I want to go!” came another message from Oikawa.
This time Hanamaki replied, “Air hockey warrior Iwaizumi was seriously something.” and a reply from Oikawa came immediately.
“He said, ‘I’d beat him no sweat’. What are you gonna do Iwaizumi?”
“As if I’d lose.” Iwaizumi replied casually, but his fighting spirit burned deep in his eyes.
“This is going to be serious.”
“Yeah.”
Hanamaki and Matsukawa looked at one another.
Would there really be another round of the air hockey tournament? Who knows?
 The three of them thought about the days ahead of them on the swaying bus.
For the three years of high school, if not the years of elementary school and middle school, the boys that had spent more time bonding with their volleyball teammates than their parents or siblings, were now about to walk different paths. Away from their schools, their hometown.
 “God, I’m getting bus sick,” Matsukawa said blue-faced and Hanamaki laughed.
“You’re so weak… wait I don’t feel so good either.”
“Don’t look down, look outside!” Iwaizumi pointed, putting his phone away in his pocket.
“What are you going to do about Oikawa?” Hanamaki asked, “You still haven’t replied to his ‘I’d beat him no sweat’ comment.”
“Just leave it.”
The other two laughed at the blunt reply.
“Amazing, he’s not even here and he managed to barge in.”
“His presence is too strong.”
“That’s why it’s a good thing he isn’t here with us.”
As they laughed amongst themselves the bus approached the station. They knew it well, this twilight town they always walked through together. The bus winded through, this small journey was almost coming to an end. As each small journey ends, the days slowly pass by. The match ends, retiring from club activities, graduating from high school.
The time to part ways will definitely come, but this won’t be a problem for them. The time spent together, the sweat and tears they shed, all of it is part of their bodies and souls. Along with the things that they built up together, their strength, technique, confidence, and trust, all these things make up their bodies. And each of them will walk a new path to a place they haven’t trekked.
As all roads are connected, although separated, for now, they will surely meet again. And so for the when they meet again so that they can hold their heads high and laugh, they will continue to take on each challenge.
 How about you?
Are you moving forward?
 A motivation that can only be gained from friends pushes them onwards through fatigue. If friends are what keeps one going when they’re apart, then not having them by their sides will be all right.
 “Continue on unwaveringly.”
That’s all they needed.
                                                               ***
  While the three began to head their separate ways home after hopping off the bus, Oikawa was hunched in the corner of the clubroom staring at his phone, “Why did they leave me on read? Damn it!!”
   TRANSLATION NOTES:
Electricity baths: Pretty much a bath that has panels running down the sides that shoot electrical pulses into the water. I’ve been in one and it’s kind of tingly at first but it feels kind of like a massage if you get used to it. It’s not all that common in Japan so even then it’s a sort of novelty to Japanese people.
Waterfall feature: I didn’t know how to translate this but it’s basically a pipe at a height where the hot water comes out. You can sit under it to hit your back and it’s basically like a waterfall/massage.
 Jinbei: Traditional Japanese top and bottoms. The kind you see babies wear to summer festivals (I guess like a two-piece, yukata top and pants). Made out of a thin material and made particularly for hot weather.
 Alligator game: in English, this game is Alligator hunt, but in Japanese, it’s called (ワニワニパニック) waniwani panicky, alligator panic, Matsukawa follows with a “What a panic” to finish Hanamaki’s sentence but I changed it a bit so English readers could get the reference.
Naruko hot springs: One of the most popular hot springs in Miyagi is also known for their wooden dolls, kokeshi. If you ever go to Miyagi, Naruko is beautiful in fall!!
As a small disclaimer:  I have taken some liberties in translation to make the  novel read smoothly. So please don’t quote specific words as canon. that being said I tried my best to stay faithful to the original.  For this reason I will not allow translations into another language using this as the base text. I apologise to anyone who is keen on sharing it in another language but please do so using the original Japanese text.
Anyway, if you enjoyed this chapter please consider supporting Haikyuu and buying a copy of this novel (volume 11) ! I may consider doing more novel translations in the future!
I do have a Ko-fi so if you do feel like it, please donate!
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lovee-infected · 3 years
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I'm about to start my own (twst) writing blog and I'm going around writers that I follow for some advice q*q could you give me any wisdom on what I should do when starting a writing blog? thank you!! I love your works and you're one of the writers that inspire me
Aa thank you baby I'm so happy to hear that I inspire you!! First off, good luck with the new writing blog! I'm glad that more authors are joining the fandom and wish you all the best with your works! 💞💖💞 Other than trying to keep your blog organized by creating a proper masterlist, choosing a suitable aesthetic, having a set of rules and making sure to tag all of the warnings and necessary mentions (gender of reader, n/sfw or trigger warning), I tried to come up with some useful advises that might help!
1) Keep up the great confidence!
First and the most important thing about a writing blog, is to be confident and strong. Look, you shouldn't be afraid of posting your works and sharing with the redt of the fandom, even as they're not as perfect as you want them to be. The more you write, the more you learn! And you'd grow to be better and better as you continue to share your works! Not even the greatest authors had been any perfect on their first days!
2) If you're accepting requests, try to set a limit
Being overwhelmed with asks is never pleasant, if you just open your inbox to face 500 requests you'd be to be terrified and confused and even lose your passion to work on any of them because of the stress and not knowing where to begin from. Try to set a limit based on your personal limits, how many requests do you think you can have at the time without stressing out because of how much they are? 10? 20? 50? 100? 200? Doesn't matter! If you feel like you're fine with huge numbers like 200 and 150, it's totally fine! If not, remember that setting a character limit would not only reduce the possible chance of stressing out and overwhelming anxiety but it'll also help you manage your inbox better and easier! You can start taking requests again just as soon as your inbox in cleared!
3) Try to treat yourself every once in a while!
Working on requests can be tiring and sometimes, boring. It's great if you enjoy working on requests no matter what they are but remember to write for your own pleasure every once in a while too!
Even if you have like 100 requests laying in your inbox, feel free to write self indulgent fics or something that you'd like to write even if it's super odd an irrelevant to your normal writings! Remember that you deserve to read something you enjoy just as much as the others do, so don't forget to bless yourself with that beautiful writing of yours ;) Remember that it's your blog, you are free to do everything that makes you happy or anything that you simply enjoy doing ^^
4) Remember that no matter what, toxicity always exists and it's not your fault
Look toxicity is very common to be found social medias, especially platforms like tumblr in which anonymous function exists. Even celebrities and world-famous artists might get attacked over pretty silly stuff every once in a while so it's something usual to happen! I wish you never receive any potentially harmful or rude asks or messages but if you ever do, best would be to block or simply ignore them! People in this platform can be ridiculous sometimes lol, there are people who DM creators just to spam hate and block the creator whom they spammed after wards lol, so don't even bother t waste your time with such people!
If anyone comes to your inbox/DMs/comments to say something harsh or leave a sharp critique, best would be to ignore them. Even if you like to answer or respond to reply to them tey to be chill and not take them seriously. Remember, even if they didn't like your content they could've just scrolled down without bothering to read your work, so if they had the guts to come and spam you with nonsense just because they didn't like your work, it's their fault! They didn't have to read, and it doesn't even matter if they liked your work or not! It's their problem and all, so remember not to let these kind of people get to you at all!
5) Take it easy with writing
Don't push yourself too hard, remember that not everything you write is supposed to be *perfect. This is even more serious when it comes to requests, thousands of unexpected ideas might pop up in your inbox and it makes it quite confusing to choose what to write or do!
First off, don't be any shy or anxious about rejecting the requests which don't follow your rules or come when you aren't accepting requests. Those who violate your rules aren't worthy of your time and work!
Secondly, keep this is mind that you aren't expected to be able to write everything! Sometimes the requests are hard to write, the idea seems odd or hard to understand, or sometimes you just don't feel comfortable or don't want to write it all, which is okay!
You always have the right to take/drop whichever of your requests and you don't owe anyone anything for this, it's your own blog, your work, and your content. Don't ever force yourself to write something which you don't like to write!
6) Your health is always the top priority
Remember that no matter how popular you are, how many followers you have, how many requests are left in your inbox or how much people are wishing to get more of your content, you're free to stop writing and put this wrong at a temporarily (or even permanent) hiatus.
Sometimes you just don't feel like writing, then don't write. If you feel like you're being too busy with work/family/school and anything please don't force yourself to write! Remember that your real life matters always come first!
Also, you might even need a break from writing without necessarily being really busy or sad, sometimes you just need to take a break from everything, and it's totally fine to do! Take as much time as you need and stay healthy during your breaks. It'd be even better if you don't even think of any new ideas/Aus while you're taking a break from writing so you can fully set your mind off stuff! Doesn't even matter if followers/readers are going to appreciate this or not, it's not about them, it's about you. Remember that your good readers/follwers who understand that authors are normal humans and not writing machines would surely understand if you need to take a break too!
7)Keep yourself motivated!
There might be days when you can and have the time to write, but something's holding you back. You feel like procrastinating over and over at some point lose the motivation to write. First off, that's a really normal matter to see as many of us have to struggle with laziness sometimes lol, but there are some useful tips to keep yourself Motamedi and hyped while you're planning to write! A bit of challenge would not only make it a lot more fun, but is also a good way to keep yourself motivated and inspired!
First, try prompt lists! They've always got plenty of useful ideas and inspirational quotes to use and are absolutely amazing to give you new ideas for a writing!
Second, try to challenge yourself by simple stuff like setting yourself word limits, trying to see how much you can write in an hour, use some suggested words in your stories (ex: Banana, train, knife, turkey) as a small challenge! You can also try small events (like milestone or holiday events) to celebrate on your blog with stuff like: Prompt list requests, CYOAs, character interaction and other new stuff that gives you a better motivation tp write instead of just having to work on the same, usual writing requests over and over.
Also, I suggest putting an specific hour for writing/ checking on your blog in your daily schedule as this is also a way of avoiding procrastination, instead of writing 10 requests a day and not writing anything for two weeks, try to set an schedule like writing 1-2 writings everyday! Remember to put your real life activities in the schedule too so you won't have to go through any trouble to find a balance between your real life and running a writing blog!
8) Remember the crediting/copyrights
I'm just adding this here because I can see quite a few of writers using uncredited art for their stories and it's been much and less of an issue lately ^^;
First off, the arts/headers used in your writing. Make sure not to use any uncredited card or anyone else's edit without their permission, otherwise it's nothing different from stealing the work from the original artst!
If you're going to leave a link to the artist, make sure to check on them and check if they allow reposts with credit or not. If they don't, don't use their art. If they do, make sure to give them a proper credit with a link to them! (:
Editors too on the other hand spend a very long time making their edits and and aesthetics, so not copying their work is just as important as not stealing art from the artsits!
Pinterest is filled with uncredited art and if there's a pinterest art who is not linked to the original artist, putting the empty pinterest pin link would be useless and steal counted as stealing art.
9) Stick with your own writing style!
Writing style is like signature, everyone's got their very own and unique writing style. From the way you portray characters to what elements you use as the story develops, you're totally different from each and every of other authors in this fandom!
You may sometimes wonder if your writing style is any good at all while you look at other creators writings and feel the difference, and I gotta say: It doesn't even matter what others are doing! All that is important, is you.
Don't try to change your style to become close another writer's style, your own style is great as it already is! Even if you aren't yet that experienced with writing and feel like your writing could be better, remember that your writing skills will indeed improve as you continue to write and read newer and newer stuff, so don't worry about it!
Each and every writing style has got its own beauty, not everyone may totally enjoy your style at first but and as you continue to write, you'd get to learn what makes people enjoy your writing even more or how you can attract new readers with your writings, your style will change for the better as you write!
Though it's totally fine if you feel like there are writers who inspire and motivate you, remember that you won't have to be them in order to improve! You don't need to be just like them to be great! Even if you do have some issues like being a non-native speaker which can make it quite hard for you to write, you'd automatically learn and have most of your errors fixed as the time passes. I made LOTS of mistakes in my first writings but I hardly ever make any mistakes now because I'm used to it! Though it was a bit late I finally recognized my mistakes and corrected them! And I'd continue to correct more of my mistakes as I continue to write!
10) It's very good to have different writer mutuals
This one is rather optional, just a small recommendation! Though there are many writers who might recommend this as a rather important factor for running a writing blog, I'd say that this isn't necessary as there are still well-known tumblr authors and even twst authors who gained attention to themselves on their own and not with the help and support of any mutuals or writer friends, so it isn't impossible to be successful even without having any mutuals!
The thing with having mutuals is that it makes everything easier. A totally new twst blog can gain around 100 followers on its first without even posting anything more than a writing and a list of rules only because of being supported and boosted by well-known blogs while a for normal blog without any support or boosting, it may take up to 2-3 weeks or even an entire month to gain that 100!
Also, getting to talk with different authors (especially those who are more experienced than you) is motivational and heartwarming, you can feel like you have a team to belong to. You can discuss different writing ideas/issues/blog chores with them and see what they may think. You can even have their support with new ideas if you feel stuck/unmotivated while writing a piece!
I didn't have any mutuals on my first days either and I admit that this made things a bit hard, but it didn't hold me back from continuing to write! Yet I admit that it's surely very useful to have a couple of writer friends around you whom you can share your ideas with! Mutuals support each other, reblog each other's works and give each other a better chance of having their works read by more users, which is quite amazing and helpful!
11) Go for it and don't give up!
Remember that no one, not even the greatest writing blogs have been perfect on their first days. They weren't well-known back then either! And they wouldn't have been any successful today without being hard-working and strong. Leaving up to the previous 10 rules is the hardest part of having a blog, and it's all about not giving up!
Do not try to judge your writing and talents based on the amount of notes your posts get or how many followers you have, because these aren't ever going to show your true worth and talents! But I assure you, if you continue to write even through your hard days, your unmotivated days and your sad days no matter how hard it's supposed to be, everything will change. The more you write, the higher the chance of having new people find and read your works would be! Keeping up the hard work and believing in yourself is the key to achieving anything you may wish for, even having a successful writing blog!
As you continue to write, you'll get more readers, more notes on your posts, more followers and more people who enjoy your content!
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Hope that these are helpful, wish you all the greatest and good luck with your writing blog!!💞💕💞💕💞💕💞💕💞💕💞💕💞💕💞💕💞💕💞💕💞
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wild-aloof-rebel · 3 years
Text
i’m gonna take a minute here on new year’s eve to do a little self-promo for the writing i’ve done over the course of this year, the same as i did last year
it’s been a weirdly productive year for me. though i spent much of the first half of the year not writing anything at all, it eventually became one of my biggest coping mechanisms, and i’ve managed to end up with over 103k words posted to ao3 in 2020, which is the most i’ve ever published in a single year. it took a hell of a lot of effort in a year when it’s been hard to focus on... anything at all, so i’m really proud of that, but i’m also kind of hoping that maybe next year i won’t quite make it there again because at some point i’ll be busy out doing other things and not sitting at home feverishly dumping words into a google doc to think about something other than the anxiety crawling under my skin
thank you to every single one of you who has read, kudos’d, commented, or bookmarked one of my fics or liked, replied to, or reblogged one of my posts about my fics. you have been a bright spot in these bleak times, and i appreciate you more than i can say! 💗💗💗
on to the fics...
*
happy endings are new beginnings Thoughts on homes and happiness and having to say goodbye. 
this little fic written back in february is about missing things before they’re even gone, which was definitely a big watching s6 mood. it’s a bittersweet thing, and it’s not really canon compliant at this point of course, but i still like it a whole lot
*
bloom Patrick gives David a one-month anniversary gift.
savor Patrick gives David a two-month anniversary gift. 
sing Patrick gives David a three-month anniversary gift.
this little series of fics that i called tempting fate was salvaged from some old google docs from 2019, where they were originally chapters of a longer fic about a full year worth of monthly anniversary gifts. sometimes ideas don’t pan out the way you want them to, but that doesn’t mean the effort you put into them was wasted and that there weren’t good things to be found there. it feels like a very optimist-in-2020 mood to have gone back to resurrect these nuggets of joy from something otherwise abandoned and lost
*
just wanna tell you how i’m feeling I Really Like You: a mixtape for David Rose, carefully curated by Patrick Brewer
the idea for this one came from an ask here on tumblr, and it was a lot of fun picking out what songs patrick would put on this mixtape. it’s just a sweet, happy early relationship fic about the ways we show that we’re falling in love before we’re able to say the words
*
the most important thing (isn’t baseball) David Rose insists he is done letting baseball players into his bed and his life.
Of course, it would be easier to believe him if he could stop thinking about the cute but cocky catcher he met at his parents’ annual All-Star party.
this of course is my big, 18 months in the making, nearly 65k word labor of love for the year. yes, it’s a story about baseball, but much more than that, it’s a story about falling in love, not just with a person but also with the things that are important to them. it is by far the work i am most proud of, and even though i know that many of you who have read it are not at all interested in baseball, i appreciate so much that you gave it a go anyway. and an extra thank you to everyone who followed it as a wip and commented along the way—thank you for trusting me and being so supportive at every turn
*
hopes as high as a kite When Patrick goes home for the holidays to come out to his parents, he discovers it’s harder to do than he had expected.
A story about leaving things behind, letting go, and learning to fly.
this is a fic that’s been bouncing around in my head since spring of last year, but i think that maybe it could only have been told this year. it’s been a year filled with fear and frustration and longing, and i think all that made its way into patrick’s story in a way it wouldn’t have before, so i’m glad i waited to tell it. ultimately, it’s a holiday story that’s a little sad while still being so hopeful, about the friends who show up for us when we need them and get us through the hard times, which is something that feels particularly relevant to me this year
*
if the fates allow Through the years, these two will be together.
A lifetime of Christmas parties spent at the kids’ table.
i kept toying with the idea of trying to publish something else before the new year and had ultimately decided to focus on other things, until i watched a dustin milligan movie randomly one night and immediately started outlining this fic. as you may have noticed, i am typically a fairly slow writer, so it was a fun challenge to try to turn off my inner critic and editor and just pump out a fic as quickly as i could. i definitely don’t want to write that way all the time, but it was an exercise in leaning into my instincts and not second-guessing myself so much, which i think we can all use a reminder of sometimes
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p1nkdragonfruit · 4 years
Text
Cinderella AU
A/N: I was just trying to add another tag to this post over mobile and i deleted it?? anyway this is my entry for @mermaidxatxheart​ ‘s writing challenge for their birthday. Happy Birthday!
Please enjoy :) 
I also have an extended author’s note at the end, don’t feel obligated to read it if you don’t want to.
Word count: 1,014
Warnings: non, should be pretty tame, this is based on the Disney version of Cinderella after all.
Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader
Steve surveys the ballroom from the balcony. All the women in long glittering dresses, the men in custom suits that fit their bodies perfectly. It was the normal for every birthday ball his parents threw for him. He leans against the banister and scans his eyes over the crowd, trying to find something, someone, to make his night more interesting. 
As his eyes scan, he becomes more bored the longer it takes to find something. That is until he lands on the woman making her way in, quite late in comparison to everyone else. Her dress shimmers iridescently as she makes her way down the stairs with hesitance, but grace laced into her every step. Steve continues to watch, interested, as she steps onto the floor and looks down to make sure her dress is alright. Looking up, she clenches the shimmering fabrics into her hands and steps into the crowd of people, seemingly unsure of where the night will take her next.
At this moment, Steve waves his guards off his trail as he heads down to the main floor to meet the woman making her way in. Being on the floor with all the other guests would make finding her much more difficult than anticipated. The women his parents invited specifically for him to potentially court, flocked to him. He ignores the suitors as they clamor over each other to ask for a dance and vie for his attention, which he denies them. He curtly brushes them off, and dives into the thickening crowd around him.
Weaving through the crowd, Steve catches a glimpse of her, revealing that she’s even more beautiful up close. He presses harder through the crowd towards her and stops at the edge of her gown, which keeps him, and everyone around them at bay. She turns toward him, her dress glittering and fluttering around her. 
Now under her gaze, he becomes unsure of himself and what to say to her. He feels his mouth getting drier as he stares at her, but finally he manages to speak.
“I’m Prince Steven,” he sputters out. He watches as she takes him in and a gentle smile forms on her face.
“I know,” she tells him and grabs the fabric of her dress again and bows to him. 
“Will you dance with me?” Steve asks her eagerly. He wants to learn about her, he wants to know more. Yet as she nods in agreement and takes his now outstretched hand, he freezes and just pulls her to the dance floor. He finds a hand on her waist and another holding her hand and she comfortably puts her other hand on his shoulder almost touching the side of his neck. With both their hands settling, he begins to lead her slowly to the music. 
As he leads her to the music, he searches his mind to try and find something to say but he can’t. All he can do is smile down at her as she smiles at him. Moving to the music witch frozen smiles, they make their way across the room. The other guests move and give them room, especially the ones who had been flocking to him when he first made his way down to that floor. 
Steve and the woman are pulled out of their trance when he starts to realize they are beyond the crowds and between the people and the door to the palace gardens. Fully stopping, he glances at his partner and she has a soft smile as he pulls her out into the courtyard for more privacy. He walks hand in hand with his partner through the greenery flowers, soft lighting showing them the way.
He leads them to a bridge overlooking a stream and pond with waterlilies scattered across the surface, the lights of the palace dancing along the rippling water of the pond. They lean on the rails of the bridge and Steve looks at her as she takes in the scenery around her. She begins to make conversation, and Steve happily joins her.
The night drags on with their talking and laughing, but when the first bell of midnight rings out into the air, she stops. Steve halts with her, confused as to why she would stop suddenly like this at the sound of the bell she probably hears every day. He waits for a comment on the beauty of the ringing, but by the third, she’s gathering her dress in her fists and looks to him.
“I have to go,” she tells him, already stepping away from their night and towards the entrance. Making her way surprisingly quick, Steve hurries after her.
“Wait, where are you going?!” He questions as he tries to catch up to her.
“I have to leave, I’m sorry but you can’t convince me to stay any longer,” she replies, face forward never once looking back at him.
“Will I be able to see you again?” He continues to question her as the crowd parts for them and then closes behind their chase. 
“Maybe. I’m not sure,” she tells him as she starts down the grand staircase to the entrance of the palace doors. He begins to realize that he might not be able to catch up to her. Halfway down he slows and watches her run to her ride. She gets in and is off into the night. He rubs his face as she disappears from view and he looks down. He had hoped that she would give him her name before the end of the night. Then, mid-thought, he sees a shoe on the stairs below him. He steps down towards it and picks it up once it’s within his reach. It’s her shoe… Clear and iridescent, shining in the light of the palace. He examines it carefully, inwardly hoping that somehow a name could be somewhere on or within the shoe. He holds it carefully as he ascends the stairs and turns away from the party to go towards his room. The woman, and her forgotten shoe consuming his mind days afterward. 
__________
Extended A/N:
I signed up for this writing contest, completely unsure of what I was going to do with the topic and pairing I picked. I was in the middle of a huge writing dry spell that had and still kind of has no end in sight. Every day I didn’t sit down and work on this entry, every day I procrastinated, I panicked.
My personal life has been a mess since about the middle of March just before COVID really hit the US. I had no idea what I wanted to do anymore. I was burned out from school and trying to function every day was tiring. However somewhere in there, my therapist helped me and bit by bit, she helped me make progress. I am in no way done working with her either, I still have a very long way to go.
When I was actually able to sit down and start writing this recently I felt about as happy as I could. It reminded me how much I liked to just sit and write if I had an idea I believed in. Also helping me was my best friend. She was my beta reader, my editor, and most importantly my friend. She helped me with a lot, in my life and in my writing. 
Something very important to me and in fandom in general, is inclusivity. In my published works if I can do it, I try to be inclusive and as gender inclusive as I can be. Unfortunately I’ve made the decision to specify that the love interest of Steve is female. I’m sorry I can’t be as inclusive as possible in this as I have been in my last two pieces. If I’m not inclusive anywhere in this one, please let me know so I can find a solution.
I’m not sure anyone is going to read this long ass authors note, you don’t have to I understand lol. This is about the most open I’ve ever been on Tumblr and I’m not sure how I feel about it. Anyway, Thank you for reading thank you mermaidxatxheart for letting me take part in this, and thank you for reading this extended authors note if you do??
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samwrights · 4 years
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Spider’s Web
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So for those of you who don’t have me on AO3, I have an Oikawa/OC/Iwa story up on there and I REALLY want to make it into a poly relationship, that’s just not the direction for that particular story. That being said, I’m most likely going to pull a lot of inspiration from there. However, if you have my AO3 account and are reading Proper Dose, please please please don’t spoil any of it for anyone else. Things that haven’t been posted on there (namely the OCs relationship to Oikawa) is going to be included here.
Enough rambling.
Edit: I am going to FIGHT the tumblr text post editor that WOULD NOT save every time I went back to format this.
Warnings: language and NSFW!
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Nobody understood the dynamic, the gall, you had dating both Iwaizumi Hajime and Oikawa Tōru. That was okay, it wasn’t anybody else business but the three of your own.
It started out in your guys’ second year of high school. You had class with Iwa for the last two years and would eventually move onto the third together as well—many thought he was a shallow piece of shit, Oikawa included, when they learned that the Seijoh ace was dating the captain of the cheerleading team, let alone top of their class. Aoba Johsai knew you as nothing more than that.
Iwaizumi knows better.
He knows the long, hard hours you put into your sport; the literal blood, sweat, and tears. He knew the struggles you faced with home life and your parents thinking your “sport” was a complete waste of time, regardless of the fresh bruises and cuts you came home with every day, they made sure to tell you as such. And he knew you took everything out on yourself — the frustration of constantly trying to make your family happy while struggling to do so for yourself — never wanting to take refuge with another person, until he came along.
To him, it seemed almost natural to be with you—you were almost Oikawa’s female counterpart and that was a love he had long swallowed and repressed. The drive, the ambition, and the self-discipline, or lack thereof, was eerily similar, too similar for Iwaizumi’s comfort. At first, anyway.
You and Oikawa didn’t get along at first. His stand-offish attitude, especially to you being cheer captain, rubbed you the wrong way. He thought you were shallow, even more so than Iwaizumi after you two started dating, and the only thing you were going to do was break Iwaizumi’s heart and he wouldn’t stand for it. However, when his ACL got torn in second year, you were the first one at his side besides the ace.
“If you’re important to Iwa, you’re important to me too,” was all you responded with when he asked why you were waiting him for the ambulance. Iwaizumi had to, unfortunately, carry out the remainder of the tournament without the captain by his side.
And so, the spider’s web began to thread.
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You and Iwaizumi were only dating for a year and some change before hitting a breaking point. For your safety, he had begged for you to quit your club after colliding with another girl on your team in your third year, that you had nearly dislocated your now insufferably swollen jaw. Despite the collision, the Aoba Johsai cheer team had made it to regionals after six long years of rivalry with Shiratorizawa, but the success didn’t matter to the volleyball ace. “You’re going to get hurt, [name]!”
“But I didn’t, and I’m not fucking quitting!” Despite the care and support Iwaizumi Hajime had always given you, the two of you were at odds as the two of you and Oikawa were walking back from your prefectural qualifier held at the Sendai City Gymnasium. Oddly enough, Oikawa of all people acted as the mediator that day.
“Iwa, what do you love about [name]?” He had asked his best friend.
“Her passion, mostly. But right now—“
“So if you force her to quit the one thing she’s passionate about, is she going to be the same person?” You could have cried that day. Shit, you did cry because never in a million years did you think Oikawa Tōru would be coming to your defense, especially not about this. But he understood, better than anyone, what it meant to be completely devoted to what you do and he would be damned if the boy he loved more than anyone would take away the one thing that you cared about the most. 
It didn’t make sense to anyone but Oikawa. However, he knew that if you lost the one thing that motivated you in life, you would no longer be the person that Iwaizumi loved, and that hurt the captain deeply. While Iwaizumi didn’t necessarily appreciate that Oikawa came to your defense, he understood the logic behind his reasoning. “I’m only saying this because I love you, but let her do her thing.” The captain added to his ace. Iwaizumi had no idea that he had meant it literally at the time.
Since that day, you and Oikawa became quite close. He understood a part of you that, despite the passion that Iwa had for volleyball as well, the ace just didn’t understand the dedication the both of you had. You both loved what your sport and what you did. You also both loved Iwaizumi Hajime and never had an intent to let him go.
“You know, Iwa may complain that you’re too much like me, but I think that’s why he likes you.” Oikawa had said one day when they two of you were out on a friend date. It was a regular occurrence for the two of you, considering that there were times you needed to get out and away from your parents and Iwaizumi just couldn’t be there. That was okay; he was his own person too.
“I don’t disagree with you, Oiks.” You were aware of how the volleyball captain felt for your boyfriend—you would be stupid not to notice. But it didn’t hinder your friendship with the man in the slightest; if anything, it intrigued you further. “Sometimes, I feel like he’s only with me because I’m like you.”
And so another ring to the spider’s web is added, as the couple slowly captures their unsuspecting prey.
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“Okay, what the fuck is going on with you two?” Iwaizumi Hajime is pissed. It’s in the middle of the inter high preliminaries—just after Seijoh beat Karasuno. You’d gone up to congratulate the boys on their win, giving a long hug and peck on the cheek to the volleyball captain who has now become one of your best friends. It wasn’t hard, once Oikawa got over the qualities that you shared, the very same ones he hated in himself.
There were things about you that made the two of you different. For starters, you embraced freedom, something that Oikawa could never do. That freedom and liberation to be yourself so fully, so unabashedly, kind of made you a badass in his eyes, one almost equal to the object of his affections. Granted, not many other people at Aoba Johsai cared for this attitude of yours—it made you untouchable, unapproachable, like you somehow thought that you assumed yourself to be better than them. Whereas Oikawa was your opposite in that regard with everyone thinking much higher of him and yet he never felt that he was enough. In layman’s terms, Oikawa strives to reach the pinnacle, where as you sat at the top only to feel alone and isolated until Iwaizumi Hajime came along.
“Whaddya mean, Iwa?” Oikawa responds light-heartedly and the man in question knows that he’s playing around. Grinding his teeth against each other, the ace grabs the both of you before dragging you guys into the hall. He’s red with anger and you’re unsure if the capillaries in his eyes are going to burst from the pressure.
“What the fuck is going on with you two?” He repeats.
“Baby, nothing is going on—“
“You expect me to believe that when I see the way you two hold each other—“
“It’s because he can’t hold you, Haji.” Oikawa snaps his brown eyes towards your shorter frame, wondering when and why you would even consider betraying him right now, of all times. “I’m comforting him, Hajime. Win or not, he doesn’t get to be held and kissed by the person he loves, just the next best thing—his girlfriend.” The captain wants to kill you; wants to run and hide because he can’t take the intensity of the situation. It’s not exciting or thrilling like when he’s normally presented with a challenge—this is nerve wracking.
“What?” Is all the ace has to say. His olive green eyes are now locked on his best friend and the king is in checkmate. “I’ve been in love with you for years and after finally moving on you decide to say something to my girlfriend?” Oikawa wants to run. Contrary to popular belief, there is nothing he hates more than seeing Iwaizumi mad at him — genuinely, truly mad at him. It was the whole reason that Iwaizumi was the only person that could get through to him in the first place.
He becomes defensive, saying the only smart ass remark he can muster. “She’s not complaining, is she?” Wrong move, Oikawa.
“More importantly,” you interrupt before the two of them glare so hard at each other that the sexual tension overrides their rationality, “you both finally admitted to being in love with each other at some point in time.”
And then they’re quiet. Another thread in the web drops.
They lose to Karasuno and it is the end of their high school volleyball career. At this point, you aren’t sure what’s worse—the tragic end or the fact that you were granted permission to ride the bus home with them and the two of them are currently hiding their faces in your shoulders in the back row of the bus. The three of you are the last to get off after arriving at Seijoh and you stay for the meeting knowing that Iwaizumi was going to walk you home after. He didn’t need to announce it, you knew by the grip he had on your hand during the entire meeting.
The team parts ways, leaving you in the comfort of your boyfriend and your best friend. “We doing this?” You look at both of them, noticing the way they refuse to look at each other. In a sense, it makes your heart hurt because you’ve grown to love both of these boys so much. Iwaizumi, the boy who saw you for what you were underneath your prickly exterior. He knew you underneath fake smiles and even faker conversations. He knew you for you.
Then there was Oikawa. The boy that unknowingly saved you by saving yours and Iwaizumi’s relationship. The boy that, after months of misunderstanding you, knew how to make you bloom and grow into the person you were and wanted to continue being. The boy that wanted to see you flourish not only for Iwaizumi’s sake, but because the two of you helped each other grow in ways that others could not. He knew what you wanted to be, and he knew he wasn’t going to stop being a part of your life until you got there.
Saying nothing else, you grab both of their hands before taking them to a place that had become a home to the three of you. Caffe Veloce was your destination of choice this evening, figuring that talking about such sensitive subjects on school grounds wasn’t necessarily the best place to converse. It was far from foreign for you, to be holding the hands of them both. In Iwaizumi’s absence, Oikawa often held your hand when you went places together—mostly so that he could have the physical touch he often craved. Eventually, it just became a habit. 
Despite the chilly, October evening air, the three of you had opted to sit outside so that nobody could eavesdrop on the conversation. After all, walls tend to reflect sound whereas the open air allows the vibrations to fade into nothing. “So, who wants to start?” You ask, as if you asking about how their day had gone rather than to talk about the underlying tension that had been eating the three of you alive for the last two months.
“Start with what—“ Iwaizumi is uncomfortable. He feels his girlfriend and his best friend of many years both staring at him, feels the way his heart his pounding in his chest like it isn’t doing its job of providing blood to his body. The thrumming in his ears is deafening.
“I love you, dummy.” That was a first for you, to hear Oikawa call him a name that’s met with bitter distaste. It’s a first, but it is a sign of growth. For Oikawa Tōru, he has always placed his best friend on some sort of pedestal, always regarding the man to god-like status and listening to his direction like gospel. At the end of the day, Iwaizumi Hajime is but a simple man. A man that the captain has been in love with for as long as he can remember.
“You can’t do this to me,” the ace simpers weakly as his resolve crumbles with a fragility foreign to him, “you know that I’ve been dating [name] for the last year—“
“And I love her too, Iwa. I wouldn’t have been able to even say this to you without her.”
“Aw,” you coo to the captain, “I love you too, Oiks.”
“This is too fucking weird.” Iwaizumi spits out, folding his arms over his chest and turning away from you both. Oikawa pretends the words don’t hurt but it’s nearly impossible to ignore the shards of his glass heart dropping from his chest into his stomach.
“Haji, just hear me out,” you say cautiously, gingerly holding one of his hands in yours, “if anyone can make this work, it’s us.”
There was pattern in the web becomes more intricate, as another spider adds webs to the loom.
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The three of you graduate—Aoba Johsai, class of 2012. It’s a beautiful ceremony, but your parents never came to watch you walk. Instead, you’re filled with love from Iwaizumi and Oikawa’s family, neither of them knows your guys’ little secret. They knew you existed, Haji’s family knew you two were together and Oikawa’s knew the two of you were close friends, but they never even had the thought the complex and complicated web of your relationship existed.
After rigorous debate, the three of you settled on attending university and getting an apartment together. It’s strange, at first, like the three of you are truly seeing each for the first time in your lives. In a sense, you are, as the three of you share many firsts together. Like the first time you all sleep in your collective king size bed—the boys had given you the short lived honor of taking the space between them. After all, you were the one that brought this all together.
The first fight was probably the worst memory, yet one of the best at the same time. While fighting was normal between Oikawa and Iwaizumi, as their childhood anctics had yet to be put to rest, there was now an intricate level of intimacy that had broken free of the former and every insult hurled by the latter had been a nail in the setter’s coffin. “Haji, you need to chill out. You’re hurting Tōru’s feelings,”
“You always take his fucking side, [name], and I’m so fucking tired of it. You were my girlfriend first when he didn’t give a rat’s ass about you so why are you choosing him over me?”
“Asshat, I’m not picking a side, I’m picking our relationship over anything. And our relationship includes you, me, and dumbass so for the love of fuck, please stop actually hurting his feelings because then we lose a part of our relationship!”
“Why did you have to ruin it by calling me ‘dumbass’, babe?” Oikawa whines, the edge he was feeling from Iwaizumi’s anger tampering off with the way you handled him. One thing that Oikawa Tōru loves about you was the way you knew just what to say when it came to Iwa. It was another major distinction between the two of you. Simmering down, the former ace clenches his teeth as he claws at his scalp with his jagged fingernails.
“I’m sorry guys.” He says quietly, knowing that you’re right. At the end of the day, the most important thing was this strange, twisted relationship he’d landed in. But this relationship had you and it had Oikawa, and that was all Iwaizumi ever wanted.
The spider’s web is almost completely threaded.
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The best memory overall was the very first time the three of you made love together, and it had nothing to do with the fact that there were three of you. It was the fact that three of you were so consumed and in love with each other that not a single movement felt wrong or rushed—everyone finally belonged to each other. There was no doubt of who loved whom more, an insecurity that had long gnawed at the back of your mind, which prompted the aforementioned evening.
“You guys have each other—you always have. I’m just kind of...here,” you had told them once after the two of them had returned from a movie date alone. At the time, you were curled up on the couch watching corny teen romance movies after coming home from a long day at work with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s that you’d demolished easily in the two hours you were left to your own devices.
“Honey,” Iwaizumi plopped beside you, taking the empty cup from your hand and setting it on the coffee table before pulling you into his lap with ease with his arms encircling your waist. “We have each other because we have you. Don’t ever think that you aren’t important to us too.” His words are meant to be encouraging, you know that they are, but you swear you hear little voices in your mind telling you that you were the one not cut out for this lifestyle. Knowing he’s not getting through, Oikawa rests on the arm of the couch, one leg swaying as it doesn’t quite touch the ground while his hands grasp one of yours.
“Babe, we only went without you because you were at work. We missed you the whole time,” you can sense the contradictory sentence coming, “but when you’re busy, Iwa and I take the time to explore being together too. You had a whole extra year and half of dating him—there’s things that I don’t know about him as a boyfriend that I have to learn for myself too.” Judging by the silence, Iwaizumi is worried that Oikawa had said the wrong thing even though he’s still holding you. But he couldn’t have said the wrong thing because it’s entirely true and all three of you know that.
“I love you guys.” You tuck your head underneath Hajime’s chin, simultaneously squeezing Oikawa’s hand in comfort and in search of forgiveness for your almost bull-headed attitude.
“We love you too, princess.” The former ace adds softly, his jaw moving along the crown of your head as speaks.
“Why don’t we show you how much we love you?”
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The three of you being together is a clarity you’d never experienced before—truly a feeling unlike any other. The way that Hajime is tentative and rough at the same time, making sure they every millimeter of your skin is bruised and bitten with purple affection, whereas Tōru seeks to bring you reassurance with encouraging whispers while caressing your breasts. Your back is to the former captain’s chest, allowing him to nibble on your bare shoulders while he holds you down as Iwaizumi has his face between your thighs.
Had it not been so intimate, you probably would have pushed to skip all the foreplay.
But Iwa has his face between your thighs with your legs dangling off his shoulders as he’s nipping and biting at the flesh on either side of him. Each bite makes you help from sensitivity, while Oikawa does his best to pinch and tease your nipples while filling your head with loving words. “We’re gonna take real good care you,” he croons sweetly as a whimper escapes your throat.
Iwaizumi gives a tentative lick to your folds, cautiously peeling them back like a flower, as if he had never done this with you. In some capacity, you suppose that was true. Carefully, his tongue swirls around your swelling clit, taking his sweet time to coax your reaction. “Haji!” Instinctively, you press your thighs together, nearly crushing his head but the man between you likes the pain. Oikawa brings a hand gingerly underneath your jaw before his fingers dig into your skin, pulling your attention away from Iwaizumi and onto him.
“I want to feel you.” And his lips are on yours as if it were the first time you had ever kissed. While he’s still holding your chin, his tongue is laving against your slightly chapped lips, almost as if to soothe the dryness, before he slips in. You aren’t sure what’s more distracting—the strange, intimate way that Oikawa Tōru is exploring your mouth with his tongue or the fact that Iwaizumi Hajime was mirroring the exact same treatment on your cunt. Their movements are slow and steady and you’re wondering just how they know that the other is moving this cautiously.
But slow and steady and cautious has never been Iwaizumi’s style in bed, no matter how much he tried to make the moment last. For just a second, he pulls away from your lower region swabbing his middle finger around his mouth and inserting it into you without warning before his tongue comes back to join the party. Were it not for Oikawa’s mouth covering your own at the moment, you’re sure that a string of profanities would be leaving your mouth with the way Hajime’s finger is pressing and reaching for the weak spots that his tongue cannot reach.
Oikawa’s freehand travels down from pinching your nipple to threading themselves into Iwaizumi’s hair, encouraging him to bring you closer and closer to your first orgasm of the evening. The ace didn’t need to be told twice. Rather than swatting off Oikawa’s hand, Iwaizumi blindly grabs his wrist with his own free hand, pulling the setter closer so as if to signal to him that he needs to be pulled harder. Adding another finger inside of you, Iwa sets a punishing pace, entirely turned on by the burning feeling in his scalp and the muted moans of yours that his best friend was covering up.
There’s almost no rhythm to his work, or so you believe. But Iwaizumi is a meticulous man, and he would be damned if he didn’t love a woman properly. His fingers are nearly fucking you open, alternating between scissoring you and pushing on that spongy bundle of tissue that makes you want to scream, all the while your clit is being rolled between his teeth with an occasional suckle, nearly sucking the oxygen straight from your lungs. You pull away from Tōru, eyes half shut as broken cries leave your chest while you try and regain your breath. “We love you, [name],” the setter mumbles along your skin, pulling even harder at his best friend’s scalp to tell him to finish you. Iwaizumi pulls away from your warmth, his chin drenched with saliva and your juices and Oikawa swears up and down he’s never seen the man more attractive than he was in that moment.
The ace pulls his fingers from inside you before the flats of three of his fingers are wildly, furiously, rubbing at your sensitive clit because all he wants right now is to hear you scream. But you live in an apartment and have neighbors and as much as they both want to hear you beg and cry for them, Oikawa shoves three fingers in your mouth to keep you quiet. “Don’t ever think for a second that we don’t love you,” Iwaizumi grits out between his grinding teeth, his hand moving at breakneck speeds knowing you’re so goddamn close.
“Fuckfuckfuck—“ you’re chanting out around Oikawa’s fingers while his free hand migrated to languidly stroke the man bringing you to your end. That caught his attention real quick, as Iwaizumi crashed his lips onto Tōru’s. It was rough and loving at the same time, much like the ace himself. Your orgasm ripped through you like a tsunami causing you to bite down on the captain’s fingers. Whiny whimpers escape through your muffled slew of curses as Iwaizumi’s speed slows before he pulls his soaked hand away from you, Oikawa doing the same with your mouth before he pins Iwaizumi down onto the bed, overcome and overwhelmed with need. Luckily for him, you’re incapacitated at the moment, giving the boys a chance to show each other their love as well.
It’s captivating to watch, you muse internally, the way that Iwaizumi goes from manhandling you to delicately cradling every part of Oikawa that he can touch. The way their tongues are swirling together and the way they’re both stroking each other’s cocks to alleviate an ounce of pressure—it’s so intimate. It’s so goddamn beautiful. Despite Tōru claiming they were going to show you how much they loved you, this worked just as well because there’s a part of you adores the way they love each other just as much.
Like watching a fly become trapped in a spider’s, large, billowing web.
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letshaikyuu · 4 years
Text
𝐈𝐟 𝐈 𝐖𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐀 𝐊𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐫
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𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: “When the FBI busted down my door, the last thing I was expecting to see was a hot, young agent. But then, our two worlds collided and I couldn’t let him leave my side.”
𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧: A FBI!Kuroo Tetsurou x Writer!Akaashi Keiji short fic
𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: mentions of blood, crime scenes and any other material needed for mystery novels
𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: This story is just me being inspired from a prompt that I have seen on Tumblr and decided that this pairing suited it the best.
𝐎𝐮𝐭𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞  - 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐈 - 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐈𝐈 - 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐈𝐈𝐈 - 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐈𝐕
It is not surprising that at whatever Akaashi strived to do, he was always the best. When he was seven, he picked up drawing and happened to win a competition just a few months later. When he was fourteen, history was a subject he found intriguing and competed in for the rest of his school days. Pictures are plastered on his family's wall where he is holding up 'First place' trophies. So when he decided to pursue a Literature and Creative Writing degree, his family was more than welcome to support him with his dreams. He published a best-seller during his second year and his teacher assigned him as one of the assistants, offering him a spot as a professor when he finishes his Master's.
Akaashi was not interested in teaching. Even during university, he felt the stuffy air of the classroom and bustling voices of the other students to be very irritating and too much of a hassle for him. His parents paid extra to accommodate him in a single-bed dorm so he would have the most peace any university student would want. That dorm was the same place Akaashi wrote his second novel: 'The Lost Case of Neverland', a mystery novel he found very peculiar and interesting to write. That was when he decided to focus his talent on writing solely mystery novels.
There was no doubt that he was a very mysterious person himself. Even now, at 27 years of age and standing in an empty living room with boxes around him, Akaashi was still an enigma to many. He moved, rather out of the blue, to this little town called 'Brightwood'. Population 600, Brightwood was the perfect place for Akaashi to settle down and pursue further writing escapades. Finding a house that was affordable and isolated from the rest of the houses on the only street in town, he bid farewell to his parents and a handful of friends before moving.
Someone who had the needed amount of money to happily live in a big city has now moved to a run-down, closed-off town that hardly has anything going for it? It wasn't even located on the map. His parents were nervously awaiting for him to call and let them know that he had finally arrived at his new home, but what shocked them immensely was a text message from Keiji that was sent right before he entered the town:
'There is no signal in this town. You won't be able to reach me while I'm here.'
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A few days have passed since the boxes have been neatly placed in the corner and minimal furniture found it's way into the house. The state of the house was not something to be proud of. House n.66 was the cheapest house in town. Once owned by an old couple that passed away from old age in said house, the state was awful. Floorboards that were creaking, the roof that was leaking and there was always a spider a day crawling its way out into the open. But, this was exactly what Akaashi was looking for.
'A mystery novel isn't a mystery novel until the writer puts himself in the character's shoes,' Akaashi would say to people who asked him how was he so good at writing mystery novels. All of his novels had this eerie feeling. It was not fit for a nightly read because they were terrifying, but they also never let you leave their content because of how engrossing they were. He couldn't count the number of times someone would ask him if he was possessed by a demon or if there's a ghost haunting his home. Akaashi would always say maybe.
His good looks were pleasuring for the eyes as well. A lot of women came up to Akaashi during book signing events and asked for an autograph on the weirdest of places. He was never able to hide his annoyance, but they always seemed to decipher that as something sexual and not the complete opposite. It usually took Akaashi getting dozens of numbers and sexual compliments to snap and ask that the book signing ends early. Even though his temper was unappealing to some, no one decided to leave his works because they were that amazing.
When the campaign for Akaashi's upcoming novel 'If I Were A Killer' started, people could hardly contain the excitement at the thought of another phenomenal novel in their hands. Rather unwillingly, Akaashi gave a short interview regarding the upcoming release and stated that if everything goes as planned, the novel should be published in a few months. He also added that he will be completely unavailable to the public eye for the time being so that he can finish his novel in peace. That interview was the last time Akaashi was seen in the public eye.
Now, with a cup of black tea in his hand and the fireplace quietly crackling in the background, Akaashi was ready to work on the final chapters of the novel. It was a novel that challenged him greatly as an author because it differed from his other work quite greatly. His editor was not too keen on this novel, it was too heavy to read and felt as if the storyline would be too difficult to understand:
'Akaashi-san, I don't think such a novel would be greatly appreciated in the public. It seems like it will be very hard to read-'
'I've already made my decision and the plot has already been developed. I do not plan on changing anything Furudate-san.'
'But Akaashi, isn't it extremely difficult to write someone who's a serial killer?'
He only smirked at the words of his editor and continued drinking his already cold tea. 'You don't know Furudate-san,' Akaashi glanced at his editor, something mysterious glinting in his eyes,' just how much that topic interests me.'
His editor didn't want to admit how the obvious coffee stain on his suit appeared. 'My hands were just shaking,' he said to the dry-cleaners, but the evil-like gaze he got from Akaashi was something he would never forget.
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It was proven to be a very easy task for Akaashi. Before moving to Brightwood, he spent hours researching everything there was to know about serial killers and their ways of work. From what triggered them to how they dispose of bodies. Akaashi had everything written down in his documents. One of the main reasons he moved to Brightwood is that his novel was set right in this little town. You could say that he was invested in this novel, paying attention to every single detail and writing it with such ease. So, when he found out about such a small town, he figured it was the perfect setting for his novel. What doesn't interest people more than a serial killer wreaking havoc in a small town like Brightwood, where everyone seems to 'know' their neighbors that well?
'When shit happens, everyone is everyone's enemy. Nobody is safe from the obvious hate and mistrust. Who was once drinking coffee in your backyard is now suspected of murder? Who was once dropping newspapers on the street is now sentenced to life in prison? Can you trust the people living with you? How can we be so sure of what's going on in another person's mind? Life wouldn't be this interesting if we knew everything, would it?'
The night was very calm, the perfect fit for Akaashi to add something new to his ever-growing novel. The complete silence would be nerve-wracking for most, but it suited Akaashi perfectly. He enjoyed not hearing the bustling noise he couldn't get rid of in his dorm or continuous shuttering of cameras during promotion periods. He was alone with his thoughts. Perfect for writing mystery novels with serial killers. Once he finished writing the predicted part for today, Akaashi closed his laptop and went to drop off his dirty dishes in the sink. He was crossing the hallway with his empty mug in hand when he heard a commotion on the street. 'There must be some kind of party going on out there,' Akaashi shook his head at the thought, thinking back to the day he first moved to this town. The neighbors were quick to welcome him and offer any kind of needed help. They were also preparing a welcoming party for the newcomer, but once Akaashi found out about it, he immediately shut it down and said he wasn't the type for parties.
'Maybe that's why nobody has visited me these past few days.'
While he was thinking back to his neighbors, the commotion outside was becoming clearer and louder. It started to feel like they were right outside his door, banging up a storm. To Akaashi, the constant noise reminded him of pencil tapping on the desks in his university classes, just much more boosted. He could feel his brain pulsating in his head, any kind of loud noise irritates him greatly and his annoyance starts to show. Trying to calm himself down as much as possible, he took a deep breath and continued his way to the kitchen. Not even a step further, his front door was suddenly on his floor. The entrance was completely bare. It should be showing the clear night sky, but all Akaashi saw were dozens of people dressed in black, equipped with heavy machinery. Unceremoniously, the empty mug was shuttered on the ground and Akaashi was down on his knees with unknown people surrounding him.
'FBI! DOWN ON THE GROUND NOW AND HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM!'
The last thing Akaashi saw before his head and body were forcefully pinned to the ground was the shattered mug on the floor and a mop of messy black hair. He looked too hot in Akaashi's eyes and it wasn't fair that he got to wear that smug smirk on his face while Akaashi was here mopping the floor with his body. Akaashi isn't a puppet. He was always the puppeteer.
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𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @mysticrainpain​ @kawaiibaka96​ @kashika​ @brokutoforever​ @shangyinn-ig​ @miyulovestowrite​ @heccingdead​ @kellyyween​ @death-waves-to-me​ @bareeganbaree​ @caxsthetic​ 
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jbbuckybarnes · 4 years
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Advice for getting started & making friends 💕
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Since Tumblr ruined the original answer post to the ask: Hi!!! Thank you. I’ll go a little more in-depth with the answer and I hope you don’t mind.
1. Always know that no matter how good or bad you think your writing is: There are Wattpad books that were made into movies, so there will always be someone that will like what you write.
2. Tagging. Is. Important. Even though Tumblr is incredibly bad with its tagging system it’s always good to use tags so people following them can see your work. Try not to tag stuff wrong though. Did that a few times without noticing it and people were not happy about it. Understandably so.
3. Also always have warnings on your works and if there is something trigger warning worthy put it in the tags of the post with “xyz tw” and/or “tw xyz”. Also put age warnings in case you write 18+ content.
4. Utilize the option to block tags in case you wanna follow someone but you don’t wanna see certain fandoms/celebs. That also works for trigger warning tags.
5. Don’t feel bad about low reblog numbers. I have this amount of followers now and most of my works get 3-8 reblogs.
6. Don’t be afraid to tag some friendly bigger blogs in your first works. They might love what you do a lot. I, personally, am always up to be tagged in stuff.
7. Join writing challenges. Usually 50% of the bigger blogs have some kind of writing challenge going on. Those are great to get exposure and find other works to interact with. My current one is HERE.
8. When it comes to making friends it really depends. I think interacting frequently is a good start, but I found actual Tumblr DM’s to be the most helpful. Write your favorite writers that you liked a particular piece of their work or if you know you both have another shared interest, you can send them a Tumblr post about that. Example: I send baking enthusiasts cool looking food posts. But sometimes even DM’s don’t lead anywhere. Some people on here just don’t really want to make friends.
9. Interact with people’s personal posts. You’ll learn a bit about them from those. For example: I know that @buckyland​ has a cute cat and prefers greenery in pots and not vases (lmao).
10. Self-promo: I made a Discord server for MCU writers and it’s still going steady. Link for that is in my bio. We’re always excited for new people on there.
11. Asks are a great way to support writers beyond reblogging. Ask games are a great way to interact. Sending Requests is also appreciated by most people having open requests.
12. Decide if you want your own asks to include anons or not. But be prepared that if you enable anon asks, that you might get some dumbass spewing bullshit in there every few weeks (at least if you interact a lot w others). Vividly remember my first hate for interacting with my favorite writer.
13. Depending on how much you write you can plan your fics ahead. I, for example, publish most of my chapter based works once a week and only start publishing once they are at least 75% written. Others have ongoing works but I feel like the consensus on it is mostly “wait until you have a good idea of the ending or a rough outline.” @captain-kelli for example, writes her 'Call Sign: Renaissance’ series as an ongoing work but knows where it’s going and plots it out accordingly.
14. Know where to get inspiration. I personally have just trained myself to create everyday. Fiction, non-fiction, art, graphics, etc. It’s a good habit to have, but if you don’t have it you might wanna start an inspiration list or a side blog where you spam all your inspirations. Pinterest also is a good place for that.
15. Research how to link something in the mobile bio to put your masterlist there. There is this wonderful error Tumblr has, where you can’t change your profile on mobile or those links will vanish, so be aware of that. Just save that HTML code in a document lol.
16. Speaking of documents. I suggest writing your works in Google Documents, since it has a document history to refer to in the awful case of someone stealing your work. Preventative measure.
17. If you want a specific theme for your blog on desktop, you can DM me, I have tons of resources saved on another blog of mine.
18. For a nice mobile theme, you can visit @whimsicalrogers, search for headers and icons on Tumblr or request them from talented people per ask or DM. *cough* I make some too. *cough*
19. Oh, I also almost forgot this, but ALWAYS put a “Read More” break after more than 500 words in your posts. On desktop it mostly works in the normal editor, but there are also HTML codes in case it doesn’t work or you are on mobile. Basically, learn a few HTML basics for Tumblr in general, they always come in handy when this hellsite decides not to work.
Bottomline: Don’t be afraid to interact with your nickname being there front and center. Let yourself get seen. If your fandom blog is a side blog you can link them to each other in the bio like I did.
PS: The main reason why I got so many followers very quickly was for writing 31 smut pieces early on and tagging them well. Please know that follower count doesn’t mean much on here as long as the algorithm is trashy. Stick with interacting with people you wanna befriend and don’t let yourself get down too much over little reblogging.
But, of course, always try to find and reblog new people. That keeps the community alive and also spreads your name a bit, as well as the names of others.
If you need more advice or have any questions feel free to DM me or another blogger you trust.
To all my fellow bloggers: Feel free to leave more tips under this post. I’m sure I forgot at least one thing lol-
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beneaththetangles · 4 years
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10 Year Retrospective, Month #5: Throwback to May 2014
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As we celebrate our tenth anniversary on Beneath the Tangles, we want to take some time each month to look into the past, not only to commemorate our ten years, but also to see where we were and how far we’ve come as a site and collectively as anime fans. For most months this year, we’ll do that by looking back at a particular year and at the month corresponding to that year. For instance, we started this off by looking at January 2010. Today we throw back to May 2014.
TOP OF THE CHARTS: MAY 21, 2014
We’ll dive into anime a bit, but I want to us to look at what else was happening at this time in 2014. Here are the most popular songs, movies, and series on this day or during this week six years ago.
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Top Selling Album: Frozen, Soundtrack Number One Song: “All of Me,” John Legend Top Movie: Godzilla ($93.2 mil) Most Watched TV Show: The Big Bang Theory
CURRENT EVENTS: MAY 2014
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Here’s what was happening in the world eight years ago this month…
Demonstrations are held across the world for the recovery of 280 Nigerian girls kidnapped by Boko Haram.
More than 2,000 are killed in a mudslide in Afghanistan.
Fighting escalates and a presidential election is held in Ukraine.
Narendra Modi becomes the 15th prime minister of India.
“Gangnam Style” reaches 2 billion views on YouTube.
POPULAR ANIME in 2014
Six years. It seems that this might be the line of demarcation, the divide between “old anime” and “anime the younger generation still watches and appreciates.” At least that’s the sense I get from endless hours posting and looking through social media. Series that should have slid further into oblivion remain in vogue, like Monthly Girls Nozaki-kun, Ao Haru Ride, Noragami, Love, Chuunibyou, and Other Delusions, No Game No Life, and Parasyte. As I get older, it’s hard to really keep track of the differences between years, but I feel like it’s practically twice as likely that someone in their teens to early twenties will have seen one of these series than a random one from a year or two before.
The year also provided some of biggest hits of recent years, like Free (the last series that was an Internet sensation before it aired?), Seven Deadly Sins, Your Lie in April (recently covered by the TangleCast), Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure, and Haikyuu!! (which by the way narrowly defeated Violet Evergarden in our Caitin Glass Review and Watch poll). Some of the most well-reviewed (or at least well-covered) shows of the year also included Fate/stay night: Unlimited Blade Works, Yona of the Dawn, Terror in Resonance, and Shirobako (the next series our podcast is covering—a little info drop for those who are reading!). These series stand out so well to me because I was knee deep in Tumblr at the time, the so many fans were clamoring about them. It really made these series stand out, whether or not they truly deserved the attention.
WHAT WE WERE BLOGGING
At the end of our last article in this series, I hinted at how I would leave the blog. But although burnout was coming, I wasn’t there yet, and most probably because 2014 was a really good year for Beneath the Tangles, especially the first half. During that time, leading into the summer, Beneath the Tangles was exactly how I hoped it would be. I slowed down my output because our writers were doing so much. It really felt like a partnership, a group of about eight of us who were writing regularly, including Lynna who started to do some episodic posting; Kaze, whose pieces were always far different from anyone else’s; Goldy, who was so skilled with her words and knee deep in convention and Christian otaku life; Hansha, who covered a variety of series but espoused the grace that could be found especially in shoujo shows; Zeroe4, who became a Swiss army knife of sorts for the blog until he departed for greener pastures; Emma, who came on as our webmaster but also helped out with social media and writing, too; and Japes, whose Anime Today column was as a strong any we’ve ever had on the blog. Speaking of Japes, it was in 2015 that he started The Tangles podcast, which he would later retool as the TangleCast—unfortunately, those early recordings have become lost.
It’s strange for me to see what I wrote during that year. I’ve written so many posts now that I’ve forgotten, maybe, what a majority of them were about. It’s weird to see my spending so much time writing about series that I was meh about, like Golden Time or Nisekoi or Blue Spring Ride, the last of which I mused for almost every episode during season one. Looking back, doing episodic looks was a bad idea, one that helped speed along my burn out. In fact, browsing through those posts is like taking a mile high view at my blogging life. Ah…I see what was happening there! It’s too bad that I couldn’t or refused to take that kind of look at the time. Writing about each episode of Terror in Resonance was fun, but it was also challenging and, again, not the best idea.
Taking this viewpoint also helps me see how I was trying to spread my wings. An article I sold to Christianity Today was posted on our site that year. I haven’t revealed that name before, but I worked closely with one of their editors at the time who encouraged me greatly with an article that would be almost an introduction to anime for that site’s audiences. It was accepted, I was paid, and then I waited. When it wasn’t published, I checked back and found that my editor had left; the new one wasn’t as interested in anime and rejected the article. I proposed another one about Miyazaki, also rejected, and also later posted on this site. The weird timing on the first one was especially painful to me, as I thought that would help launch Beneath the Tangles to a higher plane among Christian readers. It was hard to absorb having gotten my work where I wanted it, and then seeing it fall away.
A lot of times, life can be see as these series of “what might have beens.” In retrospect, I wouldn’t have been ready for the attention that posting on Christianity Today might have brought, nor was I strong enough of a writer to continue to put out work equivalent to that I prepared for the magazine. God, after all, does seem to know best.
I hope enjoyed this look into the recent past, both on a bigger, societal level and at Beneath the Tangles. We’ll keep up this throughout 2020. Read the other posts in this yearlong series.
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lil-creatorwritings · 4 years
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Author Interview
I got tagged by @alloveroliver ! Not sure how this will go but let’s do it~
Name: Well you can call me Becky! Trust me, my surname is a tongue twister and you don’t need to know that.
Fandoms: Er dear lord, that’s a lot if I count the ones outside of otome. If we’re talking just that, then it’s mainly Cybird titles (MidCin, IkeSen, IkeRev and IkeVamp). I have anime and video games fandoms too and you can ask me about that here or on my personal blog! Want to do in the future: Write more, I guess. And get a new phone for more otome games!
Where You Post: Tumblr and AO3 for my fics. Twitter is mostly for my ranting about routes or something about the otome and my main place for finding fanart (and retweeting them, BECAUSE WE DON’T STEAL OTHER PEOPLE’S FANARTS).
Most Popular One-Shot:  It’s apparently my Day 2 Kinktober. A lot of y’all are thirsty for some Leonardo smut eh?
Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story: The MitsuhidexOC smut trilogy (which I am now calling the Phone Call trilogy lol). It’s hilarious because whenever I think of this story, I remember that it wasn’t suppose to be a trilogy in the first place (it was a one-shot but then someone aggressively persuaded me into writing more of it). I honestly didn’t expect it to blow up like that (and I underestimated the Mitsuhide stans hahaha). Here is part 1, 2 and 3.
Favorite Story You Wrote: Probably my Day 21 of a 31 Day Writing Challenge I did in 2018. I also had an original work, but it’s been put on the back burner for awhile now.
Story You Were Nervous to Post: Five, which was my first IkeSen fic. I was nervous because I wasn’t sure if I got Masamune’s character right and for a personal reason (that I’m just gonna leave at that hahah).
How You Choose Your Titles: Most of the time, I either have a pending title for it or the title comes to me first as I’m writing it. The general theme of the story also has weight on its title. 
Completed: 70-ish fics. Which reminds me that I need to fix and update my Masterlist lol.
Incomplete: *tucks away my wips and google docs of future fic ideas* What incomplete works? Who is she? (lol but seriously maybe..2 or 3. I don’t usually write something and then start another one without completing the previous one, which is probably why I have few incomplete WIPs--because if I didn’t start on it, it’s technically not incomplete lol.)
Do You Outline?: When I first started writing, not so much in the way that I would write them in bullets or a flow chart. I would imagine the scene in my head then write it out, which works for me most of the time. I suppose you could argue that it’s a form of outlining too.. But I mostly type or write the general flow of my fic when my thoughts start to wander and branch out of my original idea to keep me in check.
Coming Soon/Not Yet Started: An IkeRev Ray fic that... I’ll be honest it’s a little diamond in the rough, and the theme isn’t really a pleasant thing to talk about. But this is a fic that I feel compelled to write for personal reasons. I don’t want to say much now because I’m not even sure how to start it as of right now. But I do want to write it. There’s also a soulmate AU I want to do for IkeVamp (and for some reason I wanted to do it with Arthur but I haven’t done his route yet), an IkeRev mafia AU (trying to steer away from the ‘crystals are drugs’ and think up of another idea), an IkeSen detective with that femme fatale thing (look idk what the genre is called but think Bioshock Infinite: Burial at Sea), an Edgar Bright art student AU, and just... more stuff lol. But more smut!
Do You Accept Prompts?: I do, but I rarely get them. Maybe because I don’t get to them on time and my followers don’t bother to ask me for stuff lol :( . I don’t really mind that I don’t get them, since I often write my own ideas. But I mean, feel free to drop one if you want to!
Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited to Write: Uh, I guess to finish my Kinktober..?? yes shut up i know its 2020
(Apparently the next questions were added by Ash, so I’ll go ahead and answer them too~)
What do you use to edit?: Currently, I’m not using any third party writing editor. That’s just my personal preference though.
Writing setup: My main set up is in my room, sitting in front of my desk with my laptop and bluetooth keyboard (some of the letters on the laptop aren’t working, so I use an external one. I always have a water bottle with me (because I could sit for hours) and Spotify playing on my phone on speaker. I use Google Docs for all of my fics. Sometimes I’ll go mobile and hook my bluetooth keyboard to my phone and type from there, especially if I can’t stay in my room.
Do you use a beta reader? Nope. For some reason, it’s not a habit of mine to ask someone to beta read my work, though I have done it a few times before. I write, walk away from it, come back to proofread, post, then try to stop obsessing over if it will get notes or not.
Where do you get your writing inspo?: A lot of places--books, songs, anime, tv shows, the internet, other people, prompt lists.. As to the motivation to write, well, that’s something that I’m also struggling with right now hahaha. 
Can we get a quote from an upcoming WIP?:
It wasn’t much of a surprise. This amount of workload always comes with the highest ranking officer in the army, and you’ve always understood that. There are some things that can’t be delegated or that specifically need his approval. Yet it didn’t stop you from feeling a little left out and wanting some of his attention.
Feeling restless, you push off the table and head towards the door. If he was still working, there was only one other person you could think of to keep you company. Skipping down the hallway, you stop in front of one of the doors before knocking on it enthusiastically. “Hm? Little lady?”
Sirius’ room was pristine as always. You step in and plop down on his bed, not caring if your skirts ride up your thighs. “Ray’s still working.”
He smiles and sits down next to you. “And I suppose you came to me to keep you entertained?”
This time, you pout at him. “So what if I did?”
Idk who to tag so if any of my followers (who haven’t done this) see this, go do it!
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My journalism journey
... has only just begun! 
This is my post for the “Life Narrative” assignment for JTC 326. I’ve added a “keep reading” tab because I hate putting extremely long posts on my dashboard! Keep in mind too, I’ve formatted this to fit the platform, so it’s not strictly professional. 
Also  — this is the first time I’ve shared my Tumblr with anyone who is not my sister, but it’s the perfect platform for this. 
** All pictures were taken by me unless otherwise specified, some taken from my old blog posts on here. 
A note before I start: When I first thought about this assignment, I had so many things I thought I could share, a lot of them deeply personal, somewhat dark and just not the right fit. I had a bit of a crisis; I cried a little. There is so much in my past that makes me, me, that I’ve only ever really shared with my therapist, but have generally wanted to write about. But it’s hard, and I don’t know how. And a whole lot of other stuff. BUT THEN
I realized I could share a story that I have always wanted to share! It perfectly relates to our class too and basically everything anyone would ever need to know about me! It’s amazing! I’m so excited! I hope you like it! 
(line break) 
It’s the summer before sixth grade. That’s how I define, or sort, my life, in my memories. It’s the year of school, or it’s the summer before/after. It’s not my age, or the calendar year; it’s school. For a long time my whole identity revolved around school, so it fits. 
Anyway, I’m bored. My older sister and I can only do so much Netflix-watching (because we didn’t have cable) on the Wii (because this was 2011), and I need something to stimulate my active mind. Here comes books! 
I’ve always, always been an avid reader. I was the first person in my first grade class to start reading chapter books  — something I liked to brag about a lot back then. But I’m about to be a middle schooler, so I need to find something a little more mature. My parents decide that I’m at an appropriate age to start reading some of my sister’s old books, which were originally marked for garage sale. 
One of these books has a long, juicy title, with a teen girl posed on the cover in a preppy school uniform, hand on her hip. I don’t have to look this up to remember; it is forever in my mind. The book is I’d Tell You I Love You, But Then I’d Have to Kill You by Ally Carter. Juicy, right? AND I LOVE IT. Seriously. Love. It. 
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Photo: I’d Tell You I Love You, But Then I’d Have to Kill You by Ally Carter. 
... And I guess I move on. That part is a little fuzzy. Enter: Back to School Night, sixth grade. I always would go with my mom, because I loved school, and nights like those I thought were super cool. So, I’m hanging out with my best friend Sydney by the stairs, and she has this book from the school library with her. 
Do you believe in fate? Was it kismet? I do not know; I will not guess. But I do know, I freaked the f*ck out. Because it was the book, by Ally Carter!! I loved that book! When I asked Sydney where she got it, she said in the library, and there were a bunch of other books like it. 
That made me pause. Honestly, I couldn’t believe it. Because, what do you know, it was a series!! There were three other books to be read! How, oh how, did I not know this? It had to be fate. 
I can still picture exactly where the books are, in the Preston library. The smaller shelf, up against the wall, right by the opening into the conference/meeting room space (I don’t know what we called that room???). Bottom shelf. 
Who knew a series about teenage girls going to a spy school would set me on this path? 
Suddenly it’s the summer after sixth grade, and once again, I’m bored. But, I have access to a netbook, that my grandpa gave us. Something entices me to start Googling these books. I find Ally Carter’s website. I found out that there are going to be two more books in the series. And I stumble upon this Google search suggestion, with the word fanfiction. 
And wow. 
Stories, countless stories, about my favorite books. Eventually, I make my own account on fanfiction.net, I try my hand at some of my own stories, I get a smartphone and make this very tumblr account when I turn 13, I find a place where I can express all my nerdiness in peace and all-caps, without any sort of ridicule fear. 
But that’s not the end, nor the point, of this story. 
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Photo: The first four books in the Gallagher Girls series by Ally Carter. 
(line break) 
So here I am, spending all my free time secretly reading fanfic and trying to write it, and hating my life sometimes and thinking about what I want to study in college because that’s my best chance at escape from this life that I feel I’m stuck in. 
But I can’t think of anything to write! I love to read; I enjoy writing; I am learning more about grammar because my dad has me grading his grammar quizzes he gave his JTC 300 students; but still, something isn’t right. I viscerally hate English class. 
But! There’s a way I CAN write, without it being creative! My dad is going to school for photojournalism, my sister took a high school journalism class, and now it’s my turn to register for classes in high school. I sign up for Journalism 1, the precursor to Journalism 2, which is the class that houses the student newspaper. It’s a great plan. It was a good class.
I was looking through my old journal the other day, and I came across this line dated from September 23, 2014, just into the beginning of my freshman year of high school. “I want to be a journalist.” 
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Photo: A journal entry that reads, “I want to be a journalist.” 
My sophomore year of high school, I take Journalism 2 and join the paper. I’m kind of terrified because there are a bunch of people I don’t know and now I’ll actually have to go out and report and talk to people ... but we do some really fun team-building, and people seem to like me, and I relax. I feel, just a little, like a really belong. 
And I had felt that way before, during band, and with some of my friends, but this thing, this journalism thing, I’m actually good at it. And there’s this one moment that sticks out to me still. 
It’s probably 7:20 a.m. I’m trudging up the steps to Spanish class, and I do not want to be there. It’s not that I don’t like school, or I don’t like my classes, because I do. But I’m tired, and it’s not what I want to be doing. I think, if I could spend the entirety of my day in my journalism class, I would be happy. 
To this day, as a college student, I am jealous of the people who get to spend their whole days doing journalism. 
I’ve found more than a home. I’ve found a place where, for what feels like the first time, I can speak my mind. I can be sarcastic, I can make a pun and I can also point out when there’s a bad typo somewhere and have that be appreciated. 
Halfway through my first year writing for the paper, I’m given extra responsibilities and get to start copy editing articles from the students in the J1 class, and I start to learn how to redesign/maintain our Wordpress site. I go on a class trip to Los Angeles, an amazing feat of independence for me, and I feel valued. And then, I’m award the position of Copy Editor for the next school year! It’s amazing. 
I learn my junior year that the freshmen whose articles I edited were afraid of me. Afraid, of me! (For reference, I am five feet tall). But once they met me, they were like ‘Woah, Serena’s not scary!” and now we’re good friends. I’ve since learned to be less harsh/blunt in my editing. 
My senior year, I was Editor-in-Chief. That was something I dreamed about as a freshman, but wouldn’t let myself actually fathom. And even though I felt like I could have done a much better job, and I had a lot of personal sh*t to do with too, by the end of the year, I knew that I was leaving behind a strong legacy. 
It’s really something special when people you love give you a speech, crying, telling you how much you welcomed them, how much you made them feel like they had a place to grow, to be, and how much you’ve inspired them. 
Because journalism, especially student journalism, is about so much more than the news. It’s about a community. It’s community with your fellow reporters and editors, it’s comradery while kicking ass, it’s creating a community with your readers and your peers, it’s learning about the community you live in and sharing the ups and downs of life. 
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Photo: A screenshot from my Instagram account of my high school journalism family, taken at our end of the year picture my junior year of high school. We had this running joke that I was going to be a world-dominator type person (because I’m so tiny and quiet) and my teacher said, “Okay, Serena now push Katie over” because I was taking over as EIC. Photo credit goes to my teacher (not going to post his name here). 
(line break)  
I have a lot of setbacks, too. I have anxiety. Like, a lot. Of anxiety. I haven’t been formally diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder, but I think I should be. 
I used to think I was just shy. And that was partially the case. But I grew from it, in large part because of journalism. I went from not sitting in my designated seat at the beginning of class because there were older kids in the way my freshman year, to leading the entire class three days a week my senior year. I liked high school journalism because I could get away with asking my friends for quotes, or just not really quoting anyone at all. 
I spent one quarter at the University of Denver last year, and it was somewhat the same thing. They didn’t have any strict standards on a number of sources, and I wrote articles that didn’t require speaking to a lot of people. But then, I took over nine months off from school in what should have been my freshman year of college, and thus took nine months off from journalism and reporting. So starting at The Collegian was a challenge. 
I am still damn proud of myself for getting up the courage, on the second day of classes at CSU, to go down to the newsroom and ask about reporting. I wouldn’t be where I am today if I didn’t, and I love where I am today. 
To think that wasn’t even a year ago ... 
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Photo: Here I am, remote copy editing for The Collegian, the week after Spring Break. Photo cred to my dad. 
When I started at CSU, I felt good. I was nervous, but transferring was a really good decision, and I’m from Fort Collins, so I felt more comfortable. And at first, my reporting felt really good.
But then I got too stressed with school and work, and that stress led over to increases social anxiety when I was reporting. I went to this community meeting and tried to talk to people there, but I felt helpless and quiet and I left and cried to myself. I then conducted my interviews over the phone. 
I even had to take a break for a few months last semester, because I had a panic attack with the mere thought of approaching people I didn’t know. 
But I worked through it. Aided by Xanax and peer support, I interviewed a bunch of people at the Eva Schloss event and felt really good about it. I also saw my high school journalism advisor, because his wife works at CSU Hillel, and talking to someone who knew my struggle felt good. 
For a long time I’ve doubted if journalism, if news reporting, is something I’ll actually be able to do. It’s the only real thing that makes me feel like I have a purpose, the only thing that makes me not feel depressed about life, but I am still so worried I’ll hold myself back in some way. 
That hasn’t happened yet. 
(line break) 
It’s the summer before my junior year of high school, and I am about to go meet up with the other members of the new leadership team, Katie and Kathleen, at Starbucks. I’ve recently got my license and it feels really good to be driving myself around. 
I go to Target and buy a fancy looking notebook with the last $15 I have to my name, because I don’t have a job yet. I go to Starbucks and discover I like drinking tea. I talk with Katie and Kathleen and we brainstorm what we want the journalism class to look like next year. What we want to change, how we’re going to get students to know that we exist. 
It’s the summer before my senior year, and I bring this same notebook to a meeting at Dazbog that I have with our leadership team to get ready for the school year. I’m in charge. It’s weird, but in a good way. There are a lot more people there, and I fill pages upon pages of ideas, and agendas I want to start the first weeks with. 
So much had changed in a year. My parents got divorced, I started working a lot, I was looking more seriously into college. But so much was the same. The same people, the same work, the same purpose. It was good. 
It’s the second semester of my first year at CSU, my sophomore year of college. I’m at home, cleaning my room, procrastinating because I don’t want to write my final essay. I get a text from Laura, asking if I’ve heard back about the editorial board yet. I had shut my phone off because I was checking my email so obsessively. 
And there it is. I am going to be the 2020-2021 News Editor for The Rocky Mountain Collegian. I still don’t fully feel like I know what I’m doing, even though I have all this experience. News is happening, but it’s summer. Do I write about it? Do I ask other people to write about it? Can I express the authority and knowledge I know I have, to people who have more experience at the paper than I do? It’s still early. 
The day I get the news, I pull out an old, blue notebook that’s barely filled. It’s the perfect place to start brainstorming the things I want to change on the desk and the things I think are super important for Laura and me to talk about. 
I forgot that I had notes from my Editor-in-Chief days in there. 
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Photo: The notebook!
It feels like I’ve completed a circle. Like all the highs and lows of my last few years have led me to here, right back to where I’m supposed to be. Where I’ve always known I would be. 
I know who I am; I know where I belong; I know my place and my purpose in this world. 
Ally Carter’s Gallagher Girls series brought me to writing, and writing brought me to journalism. In my obsession with those books, the unofficial motto of the CIA really resonated with me. “And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.” 
Community and truth, that’s journalism. 
I want to be a journalist.
I am a student journalist.
I am a journalist. 
3 notes · View notes
bi-dazai · 5 years
Text
BSD Episode 27 Analysis
Hello! Natalya back with my second instalment of my episodical analyses of BSD. This week I’ll be looking at episode 27 from the lens of a more platonic soukoku than last week, which was about explicit romance coding in terms of double-entendre and visual imagery. You can find that post here. I would suggest reading it, because I may indulge myself in romantic soukoku in this post a bit, although it will only be a side-track.
A note before we begin, however – I’m writing this in a much more casual academic tone, and I’m not using lowercase and internet casual as I did in my previous post. This is because it helps me enunciate my points in a way that doesn’t make me look like a crazy person. I also made quite a few grammatical errors, typos, and strange sentences. This tends to happen when I write long-form internet casual. For the sake of clarity, you’ll have to put up with the tone I usually place in a more casual academic setting such as my university tutorials.
So as usual I’ll pick out a few moments to focus in on to explain an overall general subtext and underlying message etc in the episode. For this episode, I’ve picked the opening in which Chuuya kicks the gun out of Dazai’s hand, and the scene in which our two other Sheep members are introduced.
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This episode I’m going to focus on the way the episode expresses the burgeoning, newborn perceptions of Dazai on Chuuya and vice versa. I’m also going to be referring to moments that count as SPOILERS, so if you care about that then careful going forth, or perhaps wait until the Fifteen adaptation is finished before coming back to this post and reading it.
Also, for this episode I’ll be diving into my writing major and only partially into my film studies minor. I’ll have you know I pull out my textbooks and lecture notes every time I make an analytical post like this, haha!
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So let us begin with the opening moments of the episode. This episode, structurally, is where we finally start diving past the surface of the introduction and right into the story of Dazai and Chuuya. This is the proper introduction of their relationship. So this first fight sequence serves to demonstrate the tone with which we will begin.
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So here we have some classic establishing character writing. Step 1: Introduce the base characteristics of your characters. Step 2: Introduce a problem. Step 3: Explore how they interact with the problem.
So here we witness not just Chuuya and Dazai’s unique takes on how to deal with this problem, we also have their own perceptions of each other’s actions to explore. Remember – this story is about the two of them as a pair, not just as individuals.
So here we have our problem – an armed soldier has just appeared and is clearly threatening violence. Chuuya reacts by taunting – “Oi, old man. Let’s save us both some time.” Dazai is surprised by Chuuya’s brazenness (see the expression animated in the first SC). Chuuya taunts the opponent a little more, edging and encouraging danger, clearly seeking a fight. Dazai approaches. Walking calmly past, he says to Chuuya without regard for the armed soldier, “…you could just trick him to get some information out of him.” Here we have the set-up of Dazai and Chuuya in a problem. Chuuya sees a problem as a threat and escalates to a physical altercation; Dazai sees a problem as an opportunity and prefers mental cunning.
As the scene continues on however, we begin to recognise a similarity in Dazai and Chuuya, and that is that they have little regard for the problem. They understand how powerful they are and their upper hands (Chuuya his ability and Dazai his intellect). Even when they talk to a grown adult man wielding a gun, they talk down to him. When he holds a barrel to their heads within deadly range, they aren’t fazed:
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And, of course, in this exchange here both Dazai and Chuuya both are shown to be knowledgeable of underground groups, networks, and goingsons. Keep in mind Chuuya is the ‘King of the Sheep’ and acts pretty much as their leader and later becomes Executive before Dazai does. And Dazai is Mori’s protégé, frequently set up to be the next Boss of the mafia to the point that Mori is fearful that Dazai would have taken his seat sometime soon if he hadn’t broken him (further) with the death of Odasaku. Chuuya and Dazai, despite their differences, are the most dangerous people in the underground right now, they’re clever and powerful. Chuuya may be the ‘brawns’ in their physical fights, but off the battlefield anyone interacting with them is subjected to two intensely intellectual and cunning people who are deadest on a goal. This is also shown at the end of the episode with their conversation with Randou, somewhat in Episode 21 when Chuuya isn’t beating the shit out of the Guild.
In short – they are different, yet incredibly similar. They have different views on a situation, but given the same goal they will work towards it in differing ways with equal success. They are the perfect rivals, and the perfect counterbalances to each other’s personalities and ethos’s. In My Hero Academia, Bakugou’s desire for victory and Midoriya’s pure heart and established as traits which each one must learn from the other to become both better heroes and better people. In Bungou Stray Dogs, Chuuya and Dazai work with and against each other and transform each other into better people.
And so, that is where this moment comes in:
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(Sidenote: Chuuya’s line here translates roughly as “It’s useless to shoot dead bodies.” Don’t ask how, but I know that because of Jojo’s.)
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(ignore this repeat sc, tumblr editor is being fucky)
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(Second sidenote: Look. Look how close they’re depicted in this shot.)
(Third sidenote: sorry for quality drop – Australian internet is special.)
So here we have our first instance of one half of Soukoku directly challenging and changing an aspect of the other half. Here, Chuuya notices how clearly sick Dazai is. Furthermore, if we refer to our second SC (where Dazai’s expression makes me want to cry), we can see parallels to a certain future (ongoing) mental health arc:
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I bring this up because we later find out that the reason Akutagawa is so violently driven is that he was constantly demeaned and psychologically abused by his mentor – Dazai. Akutagawa becomes not an antagonist but another protagonist upon meeting Atsushi [insert shin soukoku summary here] and bettering himself. He makes a pact not to kill anyone and begins working together with Atsushi (he used to be a lone wolf – a stray dog). Atsushi also learns to be confident and put a foot down from Akutagawa. But the point here that we need to focus on, of course, is that Akutagawa is seen as utterly deranged, violent, and demonic in the first season, but later we realise that he is in fact capable of empathy but was extremely battered by his own mental abuse.
We also see this expression on Fitzgerald as he begins to lose control. It’s another tie-back to Akutagawa (and in a small part Atsushi, but I’ll leave that for later when I analyse that episode). And we see it in Shibusawa in Dead Apple. We see this expression and through the stylistic language of Bungou Stray Dogs we come to understand it as not the depiction of someone to be reviled but the depiction of someone who is struggling inside.
So here, when we see Dazai make that expression, we know that Dazai may be a seemingly totally apathetic, suicidal, amoral mafioso who just went utterly crazy while shooting a dead guy in the head, but we know it is because, currently, Dazai is extremely, extremely depressed.
In thinking of Akutagawa and understanding what we know of Dazai’s past with Mori, it is safe to assume that Mori has not once opposed nor done anything to help Dazai with his mental illness. Mori has, in fact, utilised Dazai’s mental illness as a tool and a strategy to keep Dazai close.
And then the light finally comes in, and Chuuya kicks the gun out of Dazai’s hands, Dazai gets scolded, and finally someone is forcing Dazai to question himself.
So let’s move onto the vice versa of this scene. I’d like to give partial credit for this next piece of analysis to user @bluelancelion who wrote up an excellent little piece on this scene [https://bluelancelion.tumblr.com/post/184330424612/okay-so-we-all-know-that-dazai-is-manipulating-the]. [this is where the spoilers start to come into play!] Please go read that before you move on with my post here, because I’m going to expand on some points, however I don’t want to summarise something that’s already perfectly written anyway so I’m leaving that one to some assigned reading!
Ok.
So as OP stated, this is the first scene in which Dazai doesn’t put up a play act to hide his own feelings. Let’s actually go backwards when analysing this scene:
DAZAI: “Lay off him already. He has the ability to choose for himself how to use his power. Even a kid could figure out that much.”
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I’ve attached this because that’s a stark contrast to this:
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Both in expression and in dialogue, Dazai is already different. And here we have Dazai for probably the first time in his life using his intellect to set up a ploy for someone else’s benefit and not just his own.
[ROMANTIC SOUKOKU SIDETRACK: Dazai has been shown to canonically be a selfish person, especially in his Port Mafia days. Expanding on my theory expressed in my episode 26 post in which I posited Dazai has feelings for Chuuya that he either understands or doesn’t just yet, this could be both out of his feelings for Chuuya urging him to do something to make Chuuya happy (We can also add to this by mentioning how he just lets the Sheep hostages go. Chuuya is only meant to be working with the Port Mafia temporarily – Mori may have his plans but these are a long time coming at this point. Chuuya is still attached to Sheep and releasing hostages gives him much more of an excuse to ditch the mafia totally), and/or his feelings urging him to do something to keep Chuuya to himself. This is especially interesting considering this little interchange (she’s looking at Dazai):
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Yeah that’s either 1) double-entendre or just 2) straight up explicit romantic competition. It’s after this that Dazai stops going along playfully with them and starts straight up demeaning them and saying Chuuya can do what he wants without their input.
I’ll end my RSS (Romantic Soukoku Sidetrack) with a sneak into Chuuya’s side:
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Make of that what you will.]
*another kinda pointless sidenote: chuuya’s sheep male friend refers to chuuya as ‘omae’ [derogatory when used towards a person who isn’t your subordinate (i.e. teacher to a student; boss to an assistant etc) which is pretty damn brazen considering Chuuya can snap him in two at a moment’s notice and that Chuuya is probably the only reason their gang is still even alive.
 Okay, Romantic Sidetrack done! Now back to our analysis. We’re moving on to our final scene of the episode. Before we get into the soukoku analysis, I just wanted to point out this little frame here:
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For those who don’t know, the founder of the ADA is this cat. He wasn’t always a cat (I think?), but in Bungou Stray Dogs as we know it, he’s a cat. The cat has been seen frequently in scenes involving flashbacks to Dazai’s time in the mafia and often when Fukuzawa is trying (so hard) to feed cats. It’s also worth mentioning there’s a tradition of cats in Japanese literature, often about observing the world and realising things about yourself by observing it. If you want an anime example, go watch My Roommate Is A Cat. It functions in pretty much the same way. Anyway, here’s a fun aside in which Fukuzawa realises the cat is the ADA leader, “Come!”, and the ADA leader promptly rolls around the floor chasing feathers while going “nyan nyan nyan”: [picture not my own]
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Okay where was I before I got sidetracked by a cat? Right. Soukoku.
We get a bit of Dazai gloating about getting rid of his romantic competition Sheep’s constant hold on Chuuya, before Randou asks Dazai to please shut the fuck up about the guy he literally met that week and please just send me to the execution room I don’t think I can take any more of this kid going on about Chuuya. (Understandable, have a nice day | わかりました。良い一日を過ごしてください。) 
So we get a bit of Dazai’s explanation on why Randou is the culprit before we hear that all-too-familiar screech of Chuuya coming in hot. Let’s pause it there.
We’ve never, ever heard Chuuya yell like that without Corruption. Yet he does it now. This 1) ties Corruption in with our current mystery about Arahabaki (spoiler: Corruption is Chuuya allowing Arahabaki full reign over the god’s vessel (Chuuya)) and 2) makes us aware that the Chuuya we’re familiar with from our current knowledge of the anime (I use the anime because that’s what I’m analysing) is a little different from fifteen-year-old Chuuya. Okay, so keep that in mind, and we’ll keep going, fast forward a bit until this final bit after the credits:
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[this shot: Chuuya has journeyed towards Randou. There is something tying Chuuya and Randou together that Dazai is not quite part of. Spoiler: Randou as we know is Rimbaud, who is a key factor in Chuuya’s development (hat) and the Arahabaki investigation.]
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[this shot: First, we think back to Dazai, Akutagawa, Fitzgerald, Shibusawa. Those expressions are similar, but there’s something really wrong here. Let me tell you want it is. Mainly, visually the pupils of Chuuya’s eyes are inverted. But secondarily, we’ve already been visually warned just over ten minutes ago, first by this scene in which we cut to Chuuya while we talk of Arahabaki’s eyes (it does cut also to Dazai, but his expression is one of “I’m figuring out a mystery” and his eyes are obscured. This shot of Chuuya lingers on Chuuya’s eyes, pulling focus to them and the expression on his face.)
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Secondly, Chuuya’s eyes are the colour of the sea that Randou talks about. And, of course, in this shot we see not only the sea but also the light of Chuuya’s ability plainly:
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So there we have a burgeoning relationship between Chuuya and Randou, and a hint that we are going to be discussing Chuuya’s relationship with Arahabaki and with himself as its vessel.
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And then we have this – Dazai did not know any of this. This is foreign to us – the Dazai we know has predicted almost everything. He even predicted Odasaku’s death. But here, he’s totally out of his depth. He’s dealing with gods now. He expected the main part of their investigation to end a few minutes ago when Chuuya explained how Randou staged the resurrection of the previous Boss. But now we, with Dazai, are being thrown headfirst into something clearly very much a Chuuya thing. And now we will see whether Dazai sticks or leaves with a plot involving an actual fucking god of destruction (we know what happens. He does).
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And so, to finalise: This episode set up relationships. It set us up to the fact that this story is going to be about relationships, and more specifically about these ones:
- Dazai and Chuuya
- Dazai and Sheep
- Chuuya and Sheep
- Chuuya and Randou
It directs the audience to consider events, framing, characters etc within the contexts of these relationships in order to appreciate the story properly.
And yeah it also sets up that Dazai is a bit of a jealous bitchy bisexual.
94 notes · View notes
lastsonlost · 5 years
Text
I needed Marvel to stand by me with more work opportunities to show the trolls that I was more than a diversity hire. “
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Sina Grace on Writing Iceman at Marvel: “I Was Surrounded by Cowards”
Posted by Jude Terror June 28, 2019 48 Comments
As has been documented in various Bleeding Cool articles throughout the course of the book’s two series, one of my personal favorite X-Men comics of the past few years was Iceman, written by Sina Grace, and drawn it its first volume by Alessandro Vitti and Robert Gill and in its second and concluding one-shot by Nathan Stockman. The book breathed new life into a character who it could be argued hadn’t really received significant character development since his days in X-Factor in the 1980s. It’s true that it was “The Great One” Brian Bendis who wrote Iceman outed by Jean Grey’s invasive telepathy, but it was Grace who wrote adult Iceman coming to grips with this and learning to be himself and love himself, alongside, of course, lots of mutant action and drama. The book ended too soon, when it was really just getting going, IMHO.
With all of that in mind, it’s sad but not surprising to read Sina Grace’s comments, posted to his Tumblr, about his time at Marvel writing the book and what he says was a lack of support from Marvel while he dealt with online bullying as well as a lack of support and promotion for Iceman itself.
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Grace writes:
As Pride Month comes to a close, it’s time I spoke candidly about my experience at Marvel Comics.
To date, I’ve always been honest about the joy of writing Iceman’s journey as an out gay superhero, but I’ve skirted around the challenges that came along with it. This is partially because I prefer to give off an upbeat vibe, and there’s also a fear that my truth will affect my career. With more corporations patting themselves on the back for profit-led partnerships wherein celebrities take selfies in rainbow apparel, and with buzz that Marvel Studios is preparing to debut their first gay character in the upcoming Eternals movie, there is an urgency to discuss the realities of creating queer pop culture in a hostile or ambivalent environment. Hopefully, my takeaways will serve as a guide for people in positions of power to consider when advocating for more nuanced and rich representation. In an ideal world, embracing our stories and empowering us to tell them will yield far more profitable (and way less messy) results than what I encountered while writing Iceman.
Stand by your people
It’s no surprise that I got the attention of trolls and irate fans for taking on this job. There was already backlash around the manner in which Bobby Drake aka Iceman came out, and Marvel needed to smooth that landing and put a “so what” to the decision. After a point, I could almost laugh off people making light of my death, saying they have “cancerous AIDS” from my book, or insinuating I’m capable of sexual assault… almost. Between Iceman’s cancellation and its subsequent revival, Marvel reached out and said they noticed threatening behavior on my Twitter account (only after asking me to send proof of all the nasty shit popping up online). An editor called, these conversations always happen over the phone, offering to provide “tips and tricks” to deal with the cyber bullying. I cut him off. All he was going to do was tell me how to fend for myself. 
I needed Marvel to stand by me with more work opportunities to show the trolls that I was more than a diversity hire. 
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“We’ll keep you in mind.”
I got so tired of that sentence.
Even after a year of the new editor-in-chief saying I was talented and needed to be on a book that wasn’t “the gay character,” the only assignment I got outside of Iceman was six pages along, about a version of Wolverine where he had diamond claws. Fabulous, yes. Heterosexual, yes. Still kind of the gay character, though.
We as creators are strongly encouraged to build a platform on social media and use it to promote work-for-hire projects owned by massive corporations… but when the going gets tough, these dudes get going real quick.
Believe in the work
You may be asking if my Iceman book was any good, or if I’m just being sour grapes over a bad work experience. Believe me, I asked that, too. From the get-go, my first editor asserted that Iceman would be DOA if it were “too gay,” while also telling me to prepare for a cancellation anyway, given that most solo X-Men titles don’t last beyond a year. Never mind that my work on Iceman had gotten positive press in the New York Times (in-print), or that in spite of (since-deleted) critical sandbagging, the series nets glowing reviews on Amazon… Marvel still treated me as someone to be contained, and the book as something to be nervous about. Do you know how hard it is to not argue with a publicist when he’s explaining the value of announcing Iceman’s revival via the Marvel homepage? Sis, that’s a burial. Instead of clapping back, I just went and got myself more press from the New York Times. From there, they tightened my leash. I had to get all opportunities pre-approved, and all interviews pre-reviewed. This would be fine if it was the standard, but I assure you: none of my straight male colleagues seek permission to go on podcasts promoting their books.
What Marvel should have done is assign me a special projects editor. They should have worked with a specialty PR firm, rather than repeat a tiresome cycle of treating the book like a square peg, and getting confused when it’s a hit.
Give us a real seat at the table
There was a moment before Iceman was cancelled where I wrote then-editor-in-chief Axel Alonso an email, pleading for a Hail Mary arc. I explained that Icemanwas landing with a newer generation of readers who focused more on binge-reading than month-to-month periodicals. The series needed time in the book market before its true strength could be assessed. To Axel’s credit, he was warm to the idea and even gave me an extra month, but when he left Marvel that idea got brushed away. Of course I was right. The first two volumes sold like gangbusters thanks to word-of-mouth, librarian love, and support from retailers big and small.
When the series returned, no one at Marvel asked me: “What do you think landed with readers?” Nor did they ask the question that Axel did: “What matters to your community?” So when I wrote what I thought the fans would be into, a story about a man learning to be a better ally in the war against hate, editorial totally missed its value.
Seat at the table pt II: The Shade of it all
All of the weird drama I put up with crystallized when I created a drag queen mutant, first called Shade, now called Darkveil. I told my editor that Shade would be a big deal for X-Fans, and asked how we should promote her. He said: “leave it up to the reader’s interpretation.” Everyone at Marvel shrugged off two years of goodwill and acted like I’d coordinated behind their backs on an announcement that made headlines. Beyond mentioning on Instagram the queens who inspired the character, I didn’t coordinate shit. Of course, their head publicist can’t admit that my quotes were pre-approved from an unreleased interview. At this point, I stopped believing that there’d be any more work for me. There were so many shady moves on their end that I’m still having trouble putting into language, but it all aligned with an experience I had in retail where a corrupt manager kept lying and moving the goal posts in order to keep me selling in a department I didn’t want to work in. I offered to give Darkveil a proper character bio, and I walked away.  
I recognize that some of my complaints can be filed under “this is freelance life.” I am aware that it was not a queer person of color who joked to me that “it’s not a matter of if Marvel fucks you over, it’s a matter of when.” That came from a cis white male. The same-day turn-arounds without warning, the work emails on Christmas week… that’s the freelance bullshit. Truly, I don’t even think of this as discrimination, I call it general ineptness. It is my belief that if we are telling stories about heroes doing the right thing in the face of adversity, wouldn’t the hope be to embody those ideals as individuals? Instead of feeling like I worked with some of the most inspiring and brave people in comics, I was surrounded by cowards.
Truly, I hate writing this. In keeping with Pride Month, I am proud of the work I did on Iceman… I love the book! It sucks that I may be tarnishing its legacy going public about how the cookies were made. That said, the time for self-congratulating is over, and folks should be earnestly listening when they ask: what could we have done better?
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so what’s my take.....
Personally I think the kid got used, plain and simple. Also this should not have come as a shock to anyone.
Look at how badly they treat their customers that pay them money,                  OF COURSE THEY’RE GOING TO FUCK THEIR EMPLOYEES EVERY CHANCE THEY GET. A box full of scorpions would have had more loyalty.
@thespectacularspider-girl
______________________________
little history lesson for you kids: tokyopop did practically the same thing with the rising stars of manga. They snatched up young Talent, use them, and drop them.
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team-free-squiggle · 5 years
Text
Why @karaidemon is Very Cute
                                 by Me (@book-of-Charlie)
Pages: 5 in word document.
Font: Times New Roman, 12 pt.
Citation Style: MLA
Word Count: 1,245
Here goes nothing! @karaidemon I am putting it under a read more cause it’s long af. Hope you enjoy! Also, I told you I would write it :p
              In this essay, I will demonstrate exactly why @karaidemon is cute AF. But first, an explanation.
              For those of you who don’t understand why I am writing this essay, hello! I will explain. No, there is too much, let me sum up (bonus points if you got that reference). So here’s what happened: I saw a post that said “if you’re reading this right now, you’re cute” (Tumblr). And, like everyone here on Hellsite.com, I tagged my friends, people I know, etc…. One of the people I tagged was @karaidemon, who shall henceforth be referred to as Jewels, since that’s her name. She responded by saying “I am not cute, I demand an essay with quotes and sources. Please use MLA format.” Well, Jewels. Challenge accepted.
              We will start off by looking at the definition of the word in question: ‘cute.’ According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, these are the possible definitions of cute:
1a: clever or shrewd often in an underhanded manner
              " … he's a true patriot and statesman … and a most particular cute lawyer."— Thomas Chandler Haliburton
              b: impertinent, smart-alecky
                            Don't get cute with me.
2: attractive or pretty especially in a childish, youthful, or delicate way
              a cute puppy; a cute smile
3: obviously straining for effect
              The movie's too cute to be taken seriously.
Now obviously, 3 doesn’t apply. This leaves us definitions 1 and 2. Most people tend to look at definition number 2, which is accurate. That will be explained later. For now, however, we will start at the very beginning (it’s a very good place to start), with definition number 1.
               Earlier today I posted a post on Tumblr, asking people to like and/or reblog if they thought Jewels is cute. She herself commented “How dare you. I have a reputation” (Tumblr). One has to admit, it’s a little bit smart-alecky. Another example is within her writing; for this essay, I shall specifically use the example of her stories with Annika Archer. Annika Archer, for those who don’t know, is a character that Jewels created to go with @asofterfan’s Sanders Sides Punk AU. This author does highly recommend that AU, by the way. The stories that Jude (@asofterfan) wrote, and the ones that Jewels wrote are both spectacular. The point, however, are in the stories that Jewels wrote: in them, there are some amazingly (yet objectively) adorable moments between Roman and Annika. And speaking from experience (and from what others have told me they felt when writing), it’s very hard to write as you are not. When it’s just you, and a laptop or tablet or phone or even a paper and pencil, the letters on the page are what’s coming from your soul. You can write all different types of characters; but at the end, they all share a piece of your soul because you’re the one that wrote them. Now, I don’t know if that’s how Jewels feels; but as a fan of her work, sometimes literally the cutest, most adorable things are just the best things ever. Again, whether that’s me or her is hard to say; but those cute moments just add up to a cute person, the way I see it.
               Now, for definition number 1. Disclaimer: I don’t know how Jewels looks. Never seen her face, nothing. Which means I’m going based off of what I know about her. She is sweet, and kind, and a brilliant writer; she has a great sense of humor (based on her stories) and is overall very caring and just wonderful. Now, no matter what you look like; all those qualities add up to something beautiful. So I really couldn’t care about what’s on the outside (not trying to say that you’re not pretty, Jewels, I just don’t know what you look like), because on the inside you are cute and beautiful and adorable and utterly you. And that’s amazing.
               Now, if you still don’t believe me: let’s look at the evidence from my various Tumblr posts/asks about this very topic.
 ~ The first post is the one where I asked people to like/reblog if they think      @karaidemon is cute. Here’s what we have, excluding a reblog/commenting  thing Jewels and I did (please note that this is so far, idk if this post will get more notes after this or not. I would expect so). (book-of-charlie)
Likes
§  @Bitchwannatryme
§  @allthemetalsoftherainbow
§  @coltondresden
§  @mysparkledblog
§  @pixieprincess14
§  @virgil-angsty-sanders
§  @moist-astronaut
§  @sockpansy
§  @mirror2thespirit
§  @goliath-dave
§  @idon-kno
§  @adoratato
§  @jamicambrera
§  @the-editor-is-bored
§  @unevencube2554
§  @imantisocialgetoverit
§  @blair-nope
§  @tkwolf45
§  @joruxxi
§  @nowedontliveinigloos
§  @trashy-killjoy
§  @nervous-nellie
§  @libellus-drakena
§  @bubblegumrowan
§  @noot-noot-cats
§  @ilikesomeshtuff
§  @gaythingsingayplaces
§  @bluecometdust
§  @decadentdeerpolice
§  @theunoriginaldaisy
§  @calvindientesblancos
§  @feerkokoro1345
§  @broadwaytheanimatedseries
§  @k9cat
§  @paradoxesmakeperfectsense
§  @1-lost-fander
§  @funsizedgremlin
§  @sepporahs-blog
§  @drawtofeel
§  @itsme98z
Reblogs
§  @bitchwannatryme
§  @allthemetalsoftherainbow
§  @rptheturk
§  @pixieprincess14
§  @justt-ppeachy
§  @asofterfan
§  @virgil-angsty-sanders
§  @moist-astronaut
§  @poisonedapples
§  @idon-kno
§  @adoratato
§  @jamiecambrera
§  @khadij-al-kubra
§  @nowedontliveinigloos
§  @wayward-virgil
§  @unknownsandersfan
§  @broadwaytheanimatedseries
§  @thisismedamit
Comments
§  @asofterfan said: “You have a reputation for bEING CUTE.”
§  @adoratato said: “Oh yes definitely”
§  @khadij-al-kubra said: “Wait, this wasn’t an obvious fact to the general famdom populace?”
§  @broadwaytheanimatedseries said: “THE EFFING CUTEST”
~ The second post is the ask I sent to Jude, to see what they thought. (asofterfan)
~~ Their reaction was: “Can I get a HELL YEAH”
~~ There were several notes on this post as well.
§  Likes
·         @mollycassmith
·         @goliath-dave
·         @the-editor-is-bored
·         @imantisocialgetoverit
·         @libellus-drakena
·         @ilikesomeshtuff
·         @decadentdeerpolice
·         @doodler200
§  Reblogs and comments were done by me and will therefore not be counted in this extremely very serious study.
~ And last, but definitely not least, Thomas Sanders himself has said that every single famder is cute af. And yes, I know this is in general, but Jewels is a famder and therefore counts in ever category.
For example, his tweets (tstwitterupdates):
§  “Hey, why are you all so sweet? You make me so excited to create and share my creations and that’s the absolute BEST gift to give any artist. Thank you for being you. <3”
§  “Hey. Just a quick reminder. I come on here all the time, and you guys are always so loving and sweet and always make me smile and feeling better. You do that. You are awesome. <3”
§  “Have I mentioned lately how much I adore you guys, gals, and non-binary pals? You’re all so patient with us, and loving, and kind, and you’re so supportive of this dude who felt like getting purple hair in order to feel more comfortable as himself. Can’t thank you all enough! <3”
There are so many more. Thomas is just… the sweetest. But then, so are all of us, as he keeps reminding us. And that definitely includes Jewels.
So, even though I know you don’t think you are…. Jewels, you are cute AF, and we love you. Keep on kicking figurative butt!
                                                 Works Cited
"Cute." Merriam-Webster's Learners Dictionary, Merriam-Webster.
              www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/cute 
asofterfan. “Ask,” Tumblr. November 5, 2018.
              https://asofterfan.tumblr.com/post/179799708108/do-you-think-karaidemon-is-cute-i-need-this-for
book-of-Charlie. “Please Reblog or Like This Post If,” Tumblr. Nov. 5, 2018.
               https://book-of-charlie.tumblr.com/post/179789603984/for-those-of-you-who-dont-know-who-she-is-shes
karaidemon. “Photos,” Tumblr.
               https://karaidemon.tumblr.com/post/178556475705/photos
karaidemon. “Robot,” Tumblr.
               https://karaidemon.tumblr.com/post/177817508435/robot
tstwitterupdates. “Hey, why are you all so sweet?” Tumblr. Sept. 26, 2018.
               https://tstwitterupdates.tumblr.com/post/178499385434
tstwitterupdates. “Hey. Just a Quick Reminder.” Tumblr. Sept. 19, 2018.
               https://tstwitterupdates.tumblr.com/post/178269127019
tstwitterupdates. “Have I Mentioned Lately How Much I Adore You Guys, Gals, and Nonbinary Pals?” Tumblr. July 10, 2018.
https://tstwitterupdates.tumblr.com/post/175764942169
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