#tw; repression

[terrence-silver]

In the scene where Kreese was with the therapist and seeing different people in her place, I keep on wondering about what could have been said to have triggered him seeing Twig.

I would have loved to see more of Nick Marini this season. Twig, my beloved😩💕

Maybe when Kreese's prison therapist asks about friendship.

First thing John might see is Twig.

Because...was there ever any other friend for him? An actual friend?

There was Ponytail, but they both lost Ponytail. Ponytail now lives in Twig or rather, Terry, but Twig would've been and remained his life long friend; an attachment so complicated, complex and nuanced that talking about him might just steer close to actual romantic love, or even several different types of love at the same time. Love between soldiers. Love between compatriots. Love between two people. Repressed. Hidden. Not talked about for over fifty years. John would rather project Betsy over the image of love, because that too was a type of affection. That is acceptable. The type of love a man should have. Or Johnny, as the supposed image of a love between a mentor and a student. A tutoring father and his found son gone wrong. But, Twig? Twig is everything John is hesitant to think of because he might say or slip out things he doesn't want to slip out and have the therapist ask him 'Did you have feelings...for this friend? And how would you describe them?' Twig's mouth moves instead of therapist when this question is asked and indeed how could John possibly describe it within a short seance without breaking his whole foundation on how he thinks he functions? Is it even possible? How can he ever say, at one time, I bled an unexpected gentleness at the sight of him and now I just bleed. I carried him out of ditches on my back, shielded him from bullets, patched his wounds, gave him the last bit of my provisions during long patrols and the water out of my canteen and I fought for his life above a bit of snakes. I cover it up, with all the loves I have for everyone else. Those more commonplace ones. Those Johnnies. Betsies. Tories. A man can say he had a sweetheart he still mourns and it won't be strange --- in fact, it might be met with sympathy and make him appear even more of a man. A man can say he had a student he loved as a son or a daughter and it won't be strange.

But, to love another man? In John's world?

The image of Twig evaporates.

If John loved Twig less, maybe he'd be able to talk about him more.

#john kreese #terry silver #terry silver twig #cobra kai #kk3 #tw; hallucinations #tw; therapy #tw; repression #tw; closeted feelings #tw; toxic masculinity #friendship #cobra husbands

[lostmf]

#sadnees #tw depressing thoughts #i'm sad #depressing shit #childhood trauma #childhood #depressing life #quotes #tw depressing stuff #poetic #female anger #anger vent #childhood truama #tw self destructive behavior #tw disordered eating #tw ptsd #tw self destruction #tw ed rant #anger issues #repressed anger #angercore #generational truama #tw truama #art #digital art #photoblog #deppressed #help plz #screaming crying throwing up #this is a cry for help

[lgbtiwtv]

god. god. the significance of the diary pages about claudia’s assault being torn out raggedly by Louis, clearly in a fit of guilt and anguish and trauma, vs the diary pages about louis mourning lestat and regretting killing him being removed with surgical control and precision. by armand. this wasn’t a heat of the moment action it was deliberate and calculated and I can’t stop thinking about it

#I’m SICK I tell you SICK over this #how much of Louis memory and life has he been controlling all these years??!!!! #louis already has repressed memories due to depression and trauma and now THIS??? Armand’s very very careful and constant control? #and manipulation of the truth? of not only Louis’ recollections but of Claudia’s??????? GOD #I can’t fucking wait for season 2 rashidmand judgement day WILL be upon you #and my god......the idea that louis asked for some aspect of this??? my heart is broken i'm crying tears of blood.... #do I know if this is true? no. do I think armand is controlling everything? no…but I also think it’s part of it all #iwtv spoilers #iwtv #amc iwtv spoilers #interview with the vampire #the vampire armand #louis de pointe du lac #m watches iwtv #tw assault #tw assault mention

[roserunodays]

I need people to realize just how fucking tragic it would be if Lucky turns out to Kotoko’s true victim and the crime she’s being charged with at Milgram.

Imagine staining your hands with blood. You’ve thrown away your whole future, but at least you were able to save one person.

But you don’t have that purpose anymore. You need your next target. You can’t just stop now, right? Because then what good are you if you can’t continue to carry out justice? You've had to quit university, you're isolated from your peers because of the case you were involved in, so what do you have left?

The little girl you saved, who idolizes you and wants to just be like you.

But you realize you can't have this. Not only are love and bonds weaknesses for a supposed vigilante like you, you'll just get her hurt again if you let her keep close to you.

So you reject the little girl and her affection. You coldly brush her off despite the sight of her causing your eyes to light up with life again. It would just be for her own sake though. Because you slowly realize yourself just how much of a monster you’ve become now that you seek out your next target to kill.

Somewhere later on, you get involved with something that ultimately leaves you with the body of that same girl you tried to save under your feet, in that goddamn alleyway.

Maybe it was negligence, a prioritization of wanting to kill the evil instead of protecting the weak who needed it. You got caught up with the adrenaline seeking behavior of wanting to kill someone.

"Fufufu...this feels so good."

And you failed to notice that you left the girl defenseless, and she dies because of you. The same girl who you saved from death, loses her life as a result of your actions.

And then you realize to yourself: I shouldn’t have left her alone. I should’ve made sure she was safe. But I didn’t, because I needed to get my purpose back. I needed to keep going on this road to hell I’ve paved for myself.

And as the voices slowly become more and more apparent after the very likely guilty and unforgiven verdict, the guilt and self-hatred completely overwhelms you.

"You're a monster."

"It's your fault that she died."

"From the beginning I've never asked for your understanding! My actions, one by one, are bringing earth closer to peace. Useless weaklings should just shut up and let me protect them!"

"You can't save anyone."

#I’m not okay #my question is if kotoko knows #she either is completely unaware or she's very much aware and she's trying to repress it badly #milgram #kotoko yuzuriha #tw blood #rose.txt

[girlyteengirl16]

i don’t need therapy i need them to die

#mortal enemies #i hate my parents #fuck you #childhood neglect #trauma #tw depressing stuff #tw sh destructive behaviour #intrusive thinking #child neglect #female rage #repressed anger #anger issues #mental abuse #mentally unstable #stress

[imhere-imqueer-ilikedeer]

Logan doesn't repress because he was taught to.

He represses because he feel like he needs to.

Hw feels emotion, but it's kind of muted to very dull, small emotions. He's sure he's sure he has deeper emotions, but he's repressed so thoroughly that even he can't feel them.

He's felt big emotions before. A few times, if it got too much. All that emotion, when you aren't used to it, gets overwhelming. It's easier to just not feel it, than to bring it out an deal with it.

Because if he acknowledge it, it gets bigger. And the bigger it gets, the more it shows. The more it shows, the more he hates it.

He can't stand people's comfort. Just let him be sad, and ignore him while he does it. Let him sit there, let him lick his wounds in private. But that is not human nature. Human nature is to comfort.

He despise comforting people. They tell him something is wrong, they tell him it is ok, they tell him to feel the emotion. Then the emotion gets bigger, and he feels it more. He shows it more.

When he show it, he gets a kind of emotion hangover. Two hours later, two days later, he remembers the emotion he showed. And that is an embarrassment he never wants to feel again.

he'd rather stay on top of the emotion. Press it down. Nip it in the bud. Just avoid that spiral all together.

Because sharing his emotion doesn't make it better. It only leads to more emotion. It only gets worse.

He doesn't repress emotion because he was taught to.

He represses emotion because he needs to.

#logan sanders #fic #kinda #one shot #angst #tss logan #thomas sanders #sanders sides #repression #tw repression #tw emotion #angst logan sanders #robin rambles #robin writes

[syringaledraws]

There's blood on your hands that won't come off

#something something long-lasting repressed guilt #twewy #the world ends with you #joshua kiryu #yoshiya kiryu #neku sakuraba #joshneku #tw blood #my art

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

what bothers me about horde prime, more than his lazy characterization or his lack of impact on the narrative, is the fact that he is such a bad representation of a cult leader. like,, this is not how cults work. they don’t just insert a chip into you and make you follow their every directive like a robot. real life cults are a lot more terrifying because they use manipulation as a tactic to convince people to join them. it’s not a digital chip that you can remove from your system and suddenly you’re in complete control of yourself. cult survivors have talked about how hard it is to actually unlearn that mindset and start thinking for themselves, how many years it takes to stop feeling guilty for leaving their cult or seeing the toxicity in the leaders they so religiously followed.

sure, hordak and catra have some trauma tied to their experience with horde prime, but most of that is because of the physical torture they went through, rather than their experience of being brainwashed. and it’s fine if horde prime was just some villain and not a genocidal cult leader. but it’s clear that he was written to be a religious authority figure, the execution is just so off.

i know he’s a character in a fantasy world, so he had to use his powers for something. but instead of turning people into robots, he could have shown them a “better world” through his tech, talked them into joining him and forgetting about all their current worries, and then used them as weapons against etheria.

it would have been a lot more impactful and angsty if catra had willingly joined horde prime’s cult so that she could repress her guilt. in fact, it would have been really interesting if horde prime had convinced catra that he would help her repend for all that she did, if she joined his cult. this would have been a lot more comparable to religious guilt and trauma in real life, and it would show that catra actually felt bad for what she did, instead of just looking sad for a while and then continuing to be a shitty person anyway.

#everyday i mourn the character horde prime could have been #he could have actually been representative of toxic religious figures who push unhealthy mindsets #instead of being all “heehee you love adora dont you” he could have been like #“i sense guilt. you’ve done a lot of horrible things and you want to take it all back but you can’t. at least you think you can’t. #but if you join me you can repend for all your sins. dedicate yourself to me and i’ll make sure you’ll never feel like a bad person again.” #and it sounds like escapism because it is #halfway through catra begins to realize this and she has to choose between repressing her guilt #and actually allowing herself to feel guilty so that she can work on being better #and instead of having adora rescue her catra rescues herself by making a hard decision #but alas #spop critical #spop salt #spop #spop discourse #spop criticism #she ra #anti spop #tw religious guilt #tw religious trauma #tw religion #tw cult

[shizofreak]

“But he was just a child”

So was I

And I’m suffering and he’s not

#cw cocsa #cocsa victim #cocsa vent #cocsa survivor #tw cocsa #csa vent #tw csa implied #csa survivor #tw csa #actually mentally ill #actually ptsd #ptsd vent #personal vent #traumatic experience #actuallytraumatized #mental health #repressed memories

[lostmf]

#sadnees #tw depressing thoughts #depressing shit #i'm sad #depressing life #tw depressing stuff #quotes #childhood trauma #poetic #childhood #childhood ptsd #childhood truama #truamacore #angercore #female anger #anger vent #living with ptsd #ptsd vent #repressed anger #tw truama #sadgirl #cptsd vent #kill my feelings #feelings #im hurtin #mental illness #mentally fucked #mentally exhausted #this is a cry for help #anger issues

[thecreep-andtheweirdo]

hi guys

#repressed memories #actually cptsd #sa trauma #cptsd problems #oc art #sa vent #tw sa #csa vent #tw

[hammerbonk]

Here’s my fanart for the amazing Vernetto fic I’ll Be There (With all the Letters I ever Wrote for You) by @furinuris !

+ Spoilers below but it’s not rlly accurate to any scene in particular??

“Lest I forget, in these past few days of repose, I chose to claim her for my very own. May Lady Vertin find it written on her skin one day when the rain comes.”

Shoutout to this fic! It really takes Vertin and Sonetto’s dynamic in a direction I’ve seen others rarely do

I really wanted to try and capture the ‘something’s not right’ atmosphere I got from the later chapters. Because while the romantic Vernetto moments are sweet and all, you can’t ignore whatever is going on with Sonetto 💀💀

I greatly look forward to the next chapters and the Storm they’ll bring for the entire cast!

#tw blood #tw scopophobia #tw body horror #remember kids #dont harbour repressed feelings towards childhood classmates or this happens #did you like my pun guys #reverse 1999 #r1999 #reverse: 1999 #rev1999 #sonetto #sonetto reverse 1999 #reverse 1999 sonetto #vertin #(‘s hand) #vernetto #tk14 #Spotify #artbonk

[realbeefman]

there is something that cuts so deep about frank saying “boy’s hole” and insisting that he gets it, that he’s saying the line correctly, that he understands what the scene + song literally represent, while charlie is insistent that it’s “soul”

to the gang there’s no difference. they understand what charlie is talking about beyond the metaphor, so they must Get it, right? to them, there’s no difference between acknowledging reality and dealing with it. acknowledgement is tantamount to healing and coping and moving on. they can acknowledge objective facts, but struggle to recognize when events are traumatic, whereas charlie is much more comfortable allowing himself to be upset, even as he refuses to acknowledge why he’s upset.

idk something about frustration and the feeling that something basic was stolen from you in a way you can’t even fully articulate and. because you can’t say It you’ll never be fully understood.

#idk women are mired in repression. thats why the gang is Like That #csa mention #tw csa #its always sunny in philadelphia #its always sunny #iasip #the nightman cometh #charlie kelly #frank reynolds #the gang #iasip meta

[laniemae]

Not gonna get into danganronpa another spoilers because this whole scene is something else that I’m still processing but I absolutely love this line. Like to bring up milgram I think this is an idea which can reflect on lots of the characters as well. The idea of basing your entire existence off of a certain thing/person/ideology and then for something to happen that completely destroys that. Your entire person has been stripped away and just what’s left? You can’t comprehend your own existence or meaning without that specific attachment and you start to question all of your actions based off that…

I can only really think of John, Kotoko, and Es here (and possibly Amane and Mikoto to an extent). And John bases his life off of Mikoto, Kotoko upholding justice, and Es being the warden.

John’s idea of his whole existence and reason for being is Mikoto. It’s the only reason he believes he exists and if he were to fulfill his role he’d “disappear” as he would be completely worthless without him. John tries to repress and ignore his humanity and reduce himself as a tool to protect Mikoto and that’s all he can see himself as. But now Mikoto’s starting to not deny his existence and feels pure hatred for everything about him. And what will happen to John, when the person he’s dedicated his entire life to and desperately wants praise from, denies his existence? What will he be but some worthless existence that is only a burden, to him.

Kotoko. An ideology of upholding justice and punishing evil that has completely overtaken her. She has pushed herself into a role of a “fang” for justice, protecting the weak and persecuting evil. But even so matter how much she tries, she knows her goals are unreachable. She denies relationships and attachments to other people based on this ideology. Kotoko admits that she does feel attachment to the prisoners, but has to deny them in order to fulfill the role as a tool. And believes that pain and violence is necessary to achieving a greater good. Trying to deny any regret because wouldn’t it be easier to believe you’re entirely in the right? She latched onto Es, believing them to be similar as the warden who carries out judgement on wether the prisoners are forgivable or not. But now, Es has denied her whole ideology, her whole existence due to the pain she’s caused. Kotoko wants to believe that what she did was right and that Es, another enforcer of justice would accept her, because that’s how it is.

And Es… they’re the warden of the prison. There’s nothing more to them than that they believe. Es has no memories of their identity or past before Milgram and immediately latched onto the identity given to them, of being the guard. Es took this role as their entire identity, an extension of the milgram system in order to interrogate and judge prisoners. I think Muu put this best.

“Warden-san, we call you "warden" because that's what you are, right? And I was assigned the role of prisoner, but that doesn't mean I'm now nothing but a prisoner at heart, too. After all, I'm still me.”

Es has an unstable sense of identity, to the point they latched on to the first thing they were given in order to give themselves a purpose and a meaning for existence. And Kotoko calling them “imperfect caused them to question their identity. But as the story progresses Es will probably begin to learn about the audiences control and the truth behind what they assumed to be their verdicts. That their will never was 100% their own. Who knows what Es’ past was, but eventually they’ll likely have to tackle it and their whole identity, the warden, the arms of milgram, is gone.

gonna think about Mikoto and Amane here as well. Mikoto, although may not seem to be as first, focuses his entire identity around other people. He’s the friendly sociable guy who’s easy to chat with. But that’s all he believes he should be, I guess. As perhaps this mindset is upheld by an inherent fear of other people rejecting him, so he focuses all his attention and identity on being a social person. He’s never truly friends with people, as perhaps that would be “too close” and open up the possibility for danger. He doesn’t completely deny his identity like the others, but he molds and shapes it in a way that is acceptable to others. He likes what everyone else likes and does what everyone else does so the fear of being rejected for being different won’t hurt him. But now he’s stopped denying John’s existence and his DID, believing himself to be crazy, and to be completely rejected from other people, his entire sense of identity to an extent. And especially with John scaring other people off with the mindset that will help Mikoto, he has now been completely distanced from everyone else and now has to come to terms with himself, but not the ideal persona he put on to be acceptable to other people.

Amane is a more different case as she in a way has rejected that idea, but not completely. Growing up in a cult it’s very likely that she was always conditioned that she was just a servant for god. That all the good things she did were actually god blessing her and all the bad things a fault of her humanity, herself as a person. She is in a unstable relationship with the whole submitting her personhood to her religion, as she sacrificed her ideologies in order to help a cat. But at the core, that wasn’t about herself and her identity, rather a focus on the cat’s life. Amane’s murder was her will. Rejecting everything and fighting for her life in direct opposition to what she has been taught her entire life and how her identity should be, a rejection of that and a glance into “herself”. But once again, this murder wasn’t entirely self motivated. She’s still broken enough that she can’t fully grasp herself as a person besides god and religion. And a large cause of her murder was out of the death of the cat, rather than simply protecting herself. Amane still slips back into the belief that her personhood is entirely dedicated to god. As she tried to convince herself and Es that the only reason she killed is because they deserved religious punishment and she is in the right for carrying out god’s will, once again denying her personal reason for doing so. Reducing herself to “we” on behalf of her religion, that this isn’t herself anymore. Amane is in a limbo between rejecting her personhood for god, but at the same time rejecting the suffering she’s been through in order to save “herself”. Amane’s case is so interesting, as there’s no clear answer of what she believes in here, and it is truly fascinating.

#milgram #Milgram theory #milgram analysis #amane momose #mikoto kayano #john kayano #john milgram #kotoko yuzuriha #es milgram #uhhhh this was meant to be a quick analysis how did this turn into an exploration of the identities of 5 characters #And comparing it to a scene from dra which focused a lot around the loss of someone’s beliefs completely destroying their identity? #May analyse that scene directly because the whole philosophical and psychological concepts coming into play there is just soooo cool #and man I was kinda figuring out stuff as I was writing this but like I said it’s so interesting how Amane isn’t completely dedicated to go #Like the other characters I mentioned who have dedicated their whole identities to something #And Amane’s at the struggling between her true self and her perfect religious self #But perhaps she doesn’t entirely realise this conflict going on within #Which is interesting as a realisation of their identities would probably cause the other characters to lose it #But Amane it’s coming to her in a different way #She’s so strong uahhhahhajajshshshs #Tw cults #Ok now thinking about this more I’m starting to see this whole ideology apply to other dra characters as well #Man this is just so interesting #Like Kinji although having nowhere near as bad of a situation of amane was in a way forced to repress his emotions his entire life #Due to religious reasons and to devote his life to god and reject personhood #Surprisingly he’s actually not a bad person but still is very stoic and avoids other people due to being taught those values #And kinji’s a whole parallel to Tsurugi so this would be really interesting #I would talk about Tsurugi here but this is primarily a milgram post so for everything he’s like kotoko with a dedication to justice #But handles it in a very different way #His story is just way to long to analyse now #But hey this is an invitation to play (or watch bc downloading the game is hard technically) danganronpa another

[nando161mando]

#rioters set fire to town hall & clash with cops as protests rage on across france after macron forced pension reform #tw cops #kill all cops #corrupt cops #all cops are bastards #defund the cops #fuck cops #cops #stop cop city #culture of corruption #cop city #copcity #cop #oppression #repression #fuck republicans #republicans are garbage #working class #class warfare #class war #classism #classwar #ausgov #politas #auspol #tasgov #taspol #neoliberal capitalism #australia #fuck neoliberals

[ghostly-penumbra]

Ectoberhaunt 2023. Day Twelve

"Obsession/Repression"

Ao3

Warning: Implied/referenced death.

- - -

The people around him screamed, running with no real destination other than far, far away, but Danny didn’t move.

His hands shook, his knuckles white with how hard his fists were closed. Sweat ran down his forehead from the stress.

He did his best to keep his eyes open, but then a kid stumbled, letting go of his mother’s hand, whilst she was ruthlessly swept away by the crowd, and he couldn’t help but scream out, “That’s enough!”

He collapsed to his knees, heaving in deep, ragged breaths, and felt Clockwork wrap him with his cloak.

“It’s okay, Danny, you did good. That was a long time ago, not your fault nor your responsibility.” The Master of Time reassured him.

“They are all dead.” The boy choked out. “And I didn’t help them.”

“Everybody dies and you will not change that.” Clockwork told him firmly but not unkind. “And if you had tried to help them, I wouldn’t have let you.”

Danny ought to remember that; the world was not under his control and he didn’t want it to be.

He had to hold back on his protective urges, develop some restraint, otherwise someone cunning could manipulate him through it, again.

And for that, he needed to practice.

- - -

This is inspired by another fic, I think it was one of @/five-rivers'? I couldn't find it tho, and it's been a while since I read it.

#Danny Phantom #ectoberhaunt23 #Danny Fenton #Clockwork #death tw #ghostly-scrypts #day twelve #obsession #repression