#when he perceives. all the eyes on his wings open

[doctorsiren]

Silly little monster AU swap but it’s Apollo and Trucy :)!!

#doctorsiren #ace attorney #ace attorney au #apollo justice #trucy wright #ace attorney fanart #silly little monster au #swap au #tw eyes #<- just in case #art #digital art #my art #fanart #procreate #he’s like a biblically accurate angel almost #when he perceives. all the eyes on his wings open #and it’s freaky to everyone else

[myfictionaldreams]

First Time // Poly!Marauders x Fem!Reader

Summary: At the beginning, you were simply four friends but how was it that you all became more than this? 

A/N: This has been requested so many times so I hope everyone enjoys the reader’s first time with the Marauders!

Tags: 18+ readers only, smut, foursome, fluff, dom/sub undertones, loss of virginity (reader’s first time), first kiss, blindfolds, intense, multiple orgasms, creampie, vaginal fingering, discussion of masturbation, wanking, anxiety, friends to lovers, praise kink, size difference, overstimulation

Words: 7.4k

my masterlist 📚 AO3 Link 

The four of you were inseparable. Had been since the very first day on the train to Hogwarts. It was by sheer accident that you’d stumbled into their compartment, a nervous, quiet girl with no idea where to go and before you’d even opened your mouth to ask if you could sit with them, James was standing with his hand held out, “Hi my names James Potter, what's yours?”

From the outside, it looked like an odd friendship, having always remained the quiet student at the back of the class compared to the famous troublemakers that were: James, Sirius and Remus, they almost took you under their wing.

All these years later, you were never seen without one of them by your side. With your timidness, they often liked to be perceived as your protectors, and even though your fellow Gryffindors often joked about it, that sort of friendship is one you craved, needing to feel safe. It also didn’t help that they were undeniably handsome, and it was becoming increasingly more difficult to hide your attraction to them.

This added to the fact that due to the nature of your close relationship, they tended to be more affectionate with you than anyone else that had you hiding smiles, cheeks warm to the touch and heart beating firmer in your chest. Especially recently, the Marauders tended to keep one hand on your person at all times whether it’s casually holding your hand, resting one of your thighs in class or slinging an arm over your shoulder, it almost felt natural to be close to them at all times.

On this particular day, a group of Gryffindors were in the Hog's head, squished into a booth, drinking butter beer and laughing at Frank's attempt of convincing the bartender to serve him some fire whiskey. Taking another sip of the sugary goodness that was butter beer, the hand resting against your thigh squeezed slightly, making you look in the direction of the owner but Sirius was still shouting something to Frank at the bar.

The touch was always intimate, almost as intimate as the army casually thrown across your back, pulling you into the warmth of James as he chuckled into his own drink. You felt safe and happy squished between them both, glancing almost on instinct to the third who happened to be smiling at you from across the table. Remus’s gaze had your eyes dropping to a stare at a spot on the table to stop from grinning.

“It’s getting late and I think it’s still snowing, should we head back to the castle?” Marlene asked the group, the majority of which agreed, finishing their drinks and beginning to pile on the layers of clothing to face the winter weather.

When neither of the Marauders moved, you glanced up at James who was looking steadily at Remus for a moment before addressing his friends. “I’m not quite sure we’re ready to head back just yet, we’ll catch you later”.

“Don’t leave it too long guys with this weather, you know what she’s like on the icey path”, Marlene jokingly teased as she nodded in your direction. Your only response was a deadpan look in her direction, you weren’t that much of a liability, having only fallen over once and even then, Remus had caught you before colliding with the floor.

“Oh you know us, we wouldn’t let anything happen to her”, Sirius responded with his own smile, once again squeezing your thigh, his thumb stroking idle circles into the skin. Lifting the glass to your mouth to hide your giddy smile, you caught Lily’s eye as she reflected the smile you were hiding. Lily had known about your feelings for the boys, in fact, you were sure everyone knew but Lily was the only one you trusted to run to where you could discuss it in detail.

The group eventually left the four of you, and James was quick to buy another round of drinks for you all. Sirius's body shifted closer to yours, his lips hovering next to your ear as he asked, “So what would you like to do? Do you want to stay here or go somewhere else?” It was an innocent question but the way his eyes dropped to your lips, your heart fluttered faster behind your ribcage.

“I’ll do anything you guys want to do”.

“Oh, are you sure about that?” Sirius teased, his hand slide an inch higher on your thighs.

Knocking your shoulder against his, you playfully responded, “Stop teasing me, Sirius”.

James returned with the drinks, his arm returning to your shoulders as they began to contemplate possible places to visit. The shops had closed now so there were only a few places left such as a different pub but it was Remus who suggested; “why don’t we take her to our special space?”

Looking between the three Marauders, eyebrows knitting together, you had no idea where they were referring to, even more, confused as both James and Sirius agreed that was a good place to visit.

“How mysterious”, you quipped, drinking more of the butter beer, enjoying the slight buzz it was giving you, leaning further into James’ warmth, feeling completely relaxed. James smiled down at you, not that you could see from where you were smiling at Remus across the table as he tapped his foot against yours under the table.

There was only an hour left of daylight when the four of you finished your beverages and began to wrap up in hats, gloves and scarves, Sirius even helping you to zip up your coat before gripping your hips and steering you towards the exit. The hold was possessive but you didn’t mind.

It was ice cold outside, your cheeks burning from the bitter wind but luckily Remus was right there, offering his arm for you to huddle into. The tallest Marauder always ran oddly warm but you knew it was due to his furry little problem, of which he had confessed to you many years ago.

You weren’t paying much attention as to where they were taking you until the barbed wire fence was in your eyesight and you stopped in the middle of the path.

“I’m not going in there are you mad?”, your eyes were wide as you looked at the shrieking shack, the decrepit building swaying with the bitter winds.

“You aren’t scared are you?” Sirius mocked, stepping closer which caused you to lean further into Remus’ body. James joined in as well until they were all crowding around your frame, all three of them were much taller than you, which only meant that was something else that they could tease you for. 

“Don’t be scared, we’ll protect you.”

“The ghouls and ghosts won’t get you with your handsome knights to protect you.” 

Remus lightly shoved James and Sirius away at their joking which only made them laugh but you weren’t concentrating on that as you had realised that as you’d been leaning into Remus’ body, your hand had reached behind and was squeezing his thigh in fear.

Your body warmed with embarrassment, quickly letting go whilst ignoring just how muscular it felt and apologising to the scarred Marauder but he only smiled down endearingly at you, taking your smaller hand in his. 

“It’s not haunted, don’t listen to these idiots. This is where I come for my monthly visits”. This made you feel a little more relieved but it was still slightly terrifying as you all approached the building, making sure no one was around to see you all casually walking into the most haunted building in the UK.

The inside wasn’t as ghastly compared to the exterior, it was still rickety but clearly, from the boys’ regular visits, it was decorated nicely, even having a room with a lovely four-post bed, decorated with red silk sheets and three high back chairs surrounding a fire that Sirius swiftly lit with his wand.

“It’s cute!” you admit, looking at the bed before standing in front of the fire, beginning to take off your outside wear as the room began to heat.

As the sun began to set outside, the four of you relaxed in the room, Sirius sitting on the floor in front of the fire with the remaining three including you in the chairs. “Shall we check the map? I’d put 5 galleons on Alice and Frank being in a classroom somewhere”, James predicted, reaching into his back pocket and revealing the Marauders map, waving his wand and muttering the line and watching mesmerised as the map came to life.

This was one of the best things the group had created, spending hours and hours spying on students without leaving the comfort of your chair and it had revealed many people’s relationships.

“Ah, there I knew it!” James announced, pointing on the map to where Alice and Frank's name labels were hovering suspiciously close in an empty classroom. “Of course, it’s in that specific classroom as well, I’m pretty sure everyone in our years snogged in that room.”

A giggle spilt from your mouth, “not everyone James”, you admitted casually, looking at the other names on the map to see if there was any more gossip to reveal, not knowing the dumbstruck expression from the men surrounding you.

“What? I thought you had a little thing with Cresswell?” Remus asked perplexed.

“What, no! I’ve never even kissed anyone else, let alone be alone with him, ew-”

“What did you say?” Sirius asked, cutting you off on your disgusted tangent. You now realised just how much you had let slip. It wasn’t like you had been going out of your way not to be kissed, in fact, you rather liked the thought of being intimate with someone else but the opportunity had never come your way.

“I mean, yeah I’ve never kissed anyone before but it’s fine, I don’t mind”, it was a small white lie but you just wanted the conversation to move on. 

“But… how?!” James asked, moving slightly closer to you.

“Well, how can anyone get close enough to me to kiss me when you’re always around? I mean do you remember when Lockhart tried to ask me to Slughorn’s Christmas ball? You just about traumatised the poor guy”.

James smirked at the memory, “If I do recall correctly, you didn’t want to go with him anyway”.

“That’s not the point I’m trying to make, I’ve just not had the opportunity and anyway, it’s fine! Can we please stop talking about it, this is embarrassing”.

The Marauders wanted to do anything but move on from this conversation, Remus decided to speak next, his voice low as he asked: “Would you like to kiss someone?”

Your eyes widened slightly, immediately looking into his, mouth feeling suddenly dry, your body feeling too warm as Sirius continued the questioning front the floor, “I mean if you’re going to kiss someone, it might as well be with someone you trust… right?”

Your automatic response was to laugh, not being able to hide the anxiety laced in your voice, moving subtly to sit on your hands to hide the gentle tremble. “Well, now there’s loads of pressure! What if I’m a bad kisser and then you never talk to me again? And who am I supposed to pick? And-”

“Honey, stop freaking out, it’s not supposed to give you anxiety, it’s a nice thing”, James tried to reason with you, his hand reaching across from where he sat to gently brush down your arm before his eyes lit up with an idea. “How about - if you still want to -, we make this easier for you?”

James took out his wand from his pocket, pointing it at one of his gloves that lay over the arm of his chair, and in a split second, the material had changed into a long cloth. Picking it up, he held it out to you, “What if you can’t see who kisses you, then you don’t have to worry about the anxiety of picking and if you don’t like it we can stop and act as if nothing has happened and you won’t even be able to tell who you’d kissed?”

You stared at the cloth in his hand, realising it was meant to be used for a blindfold. There was nothing that you wanted more than to say yes and before even contemplating the realities of the situation, you were agreeing to his proposition.

One moment you were sitting in your chair, and the next you were in the centre of the room, nervously shifting your weight from one foot to the other, your sight completely masked by the cloth now tied around your head.

“Relax darling”, Sirius spoke next to your ear. His request was easier said than done as you could hear the three of them walking around you in a circle, so you couldn’t tell who was about to kiss you, losing track the further they walked as to where it sounded like Sirius had even been stood.

Your hands were shaking even more at your sides, mentally you tried to remember to breathe. But this was such a weird situation to be in, your limbs didn’t even feel like they were a part of your body now, where were you supposed to do with your arms? And your lips, should you purse your lips in preparation? Should you have brushed your teeth?

A single finger slides under your chin, stopping any thought from spiralling through your mind. With ease, your head was tipped back, almost impossibly far from how your neck ached, forgetting just how much taller the boys were than you. The sweet butterbeer breath then fanned across the skin of your face and also gave nothing away as you all had been drinking it.

Then a pair of lips were touching yours. Delicately. Tentatively. Almost as if they were scared that you were going to break, so soft that your initial reaction wasn’t too tense like you’d expect it to be, but instead your shoulders dropped slightly with ease. Whoever it was were more than careful and you were truly unable to identify just who it was.

And then they were gone, leaving your head tilted back, mind ablaze with wanting and needing them to come back.

Having heard your thoughts, a warm hand glided across your jaw, holding the position of your head as lips were suddenly pressing against yours once more with a much more intense pressure. The lips were full, slightly moist from where the Marauder had licked them before leaning in. Your nose pressed into his cheek which meant that you could move past the smell of the butter beer and his natural scent filled your sense giving you the identification of whom you were kissing.

Not that you needed to as Sirius’ long hair brushed across your face. Your heart was pounding so hard in your chest that you were sure that he could hear it but it didn’t stop him from holding you close.

It felt almost normal, natural even as your best friend pushed his lips harder against yours for a second before pulling back. You were confused by the loss of his lips but he was only tilting his head and then he was kissing you again with more passion. On instinct, you sighed into the touch, your body feeling like it was melting into the floor as Sirius moved his lips steadily against yours, giving you time to accustomed to the movements of kissing before he was backing off.

In the far reaches of your mind, you were having an absolute meltdown, screaming into your consciousness that you were actually kissing your best friends. The Marauders, your childhood friends were actually kissing you.

Another person was stepping into your personal bubble, hand once again on your jaw, cradling your head and another hand slid to your hip, pulling your body flush against a much firmer one. Then you were being kissed again, head tilted at the same angle that Sirius had held you in but with a little bit of practice, you leaned further into the embrace, hand lifting to rest against James’ chest, knowing it was him from the lingering musky cologne that was on his skin and only he had these specific toned hard body from his Quidditch practice.

A small moan escaped you, lost completely in the time and it was like sweet music to James as he smiled against your mouth but just like Sirius, just as you were starting to get into it, he stepped back leaving you feeling cold and lonely.

Instinctinyl your body tried to follow after him but he was already out of your grasp, their footsteps could still be heard, even if you couldn’t see a single thing through the blindfold. It was highly disorientating, almost felt dizzy but that was also mostly from the breathless kisses. As the three men continued to talk in circles around you, your tongue darted out and moistened your lips and you had to hold back a groan at being able to taste something that wasn’t you, realising it was a mixture of Sirius and James' mouths.

As you took a deep breath to try and gather more courage a body was once more in front of yours, tilting your chin further and further until Remus could lean in and capture your lips.

Remus absolutely devoured your mouth. Holding you close so he could press you closer, his tongue teasing against your lips, begging for you to respond to him which you did, opening and letting his tongue dance with yours. Raising onto your tip toes to try and reach more of him, needing more, already as addicted to his taste as you were to the other two, needing his warmth.

You could have cried with happiness as he didn’t step back immediately as his lips left yours. Instead, they made their own path down your neck, tasting your skin, finding the areas that had your knees wobbling and breath catching in your throat.

But of course, this would not last as he was gone again but thankfully the wait wasn’t long as a different set of lips were replacing Remus’, this time exploring your jaw, spending time to tease beneath your ear where you hadn’t realised you were so sensitive until a shiver passed through you.

Your hands found their way into the shirt of the man now gently nibbling your ear, the press of his glasses against your cheek, you knew it was James who had returned. With nothing covering your mouth, there was nothing to hold back the mewls and whimpers, especially as James moved lower, teeth grazing over your pulse mouth. His wicked mouth was sending you into a needy puddle.

“Please…”. You weren’t entirely sure what you were pleading for but Sirius answered by sliding his body behind yours, his hands resting comfortably against your hips, dipping his head to the opposite side of your neck to James.

“What do you want sweetheart?”

“I don’t know…”, you internally cursed yourself with just how desperate you sounded. It wasn’t that there was anything specifically that you were wanting, just knowing you needed everything.

Having already kissed all three of them, which was a big deal in itself, but the dampening between your legs was desperately screaming to be touched, and you wanted to touch them, even if you weren’t sure what to do.

“I can see you thinking too much, just breath Baby, relax into our touch, let us make you feel good.”

Your mind seemed to disappear of all thoughts, the only sensation was the burning of your skin with every nibble and lick that they doing to your body. However, your anxiety was always there just to bubble to the surface, your body tensing slightly as you stuttered.

“But…But I-”.

James stopped kissing your neck, all three of them pausing feeling the tension as you began to panic. Sirius ran a warm hand up your clothed back in soothing circled as you struggled to think of the words you were desperate to say.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do love. We can stop if it’s getting too much for you”, Sirius continued to try and soothe you.

“I don’t want to stop”, you finally were able to choke out, something that you truly meant. “I just-”, biting your lip contemplating the words, slightly embarrassed but a rough fingertip eased your lip from between your teeth.

“Talk to us,” it was Remus now speaking from somewhere to your right, but you couldn’t feel him other than the finger and thumb on your chin.

“I don’t know what I’m doing”, you admitted finally.

To be honest, you’d expected them to laugh however when they didn’t, your body seemed to relax, especially realising that they were all now stroking a part of your body to try and help to calm you down.

“We don’t expect you to know what you are doing love. We want you to experience these things, to make you feel good. Just let us take care of you. Do you want the blindfold off?” Remus asked.

You shook your head with a response of now. Even though you could tell who was kissing you now, the thought of actually looking them in the eye was too real. They were your best friends, and they were making you feel good so in your blissful ignorance of having a blindfold on, you didn’t have to look them in the eye at least.

“Do you want to continue?” James asked from in front, his lips grazing your temple in a comforting way.

“Yes”.

“Will you tell us to stop if you become too uncomfortable?”

“Yes”.

No one moved for a moment, almost having a silent conversation between the three of them before James was tilting your head back from where it was leaning on Sirius’ chest. You’d expected him to kiss you but his lips moved lower, lips pursed blowing cool air against your burning skin. His hand which was slightly rough from the calloused from training on his broom, inched down your neck, following the sensual air that he was blowing until he teased the material of your shirt.

Your chest was rising and falling dramatically, desperately sucking in air as you didn’t stop his fingers as he began to unbutton your shirt, slowly, one at a time, making sure to stroke the exposed skin until reaching the top of your breasts did he stop.

However, he only stopped so that he could push the material away from your shoulder, moving to kiss the skin there, the sensations once again new. However, Remus didn’t give you time to gasp as he tilted your face in the direction that he was facing, kissing you breathlessly and hungrily.

Sirius still stood behind you, pulling your body into his enough that if you weren’t being distracted by the other two, you’d noticed the throbbing lump in his trousers. Instinctively you were leaning into him more, savouring his warmth. Sirius’ hands began to curve around your waist, teasing along the hem of your shirt, dipping beneath to brush against your bare skin. Your hips rolled as his fingers ticked slightly but you already knew you’d be craving to feel his fingers on your skin in the future, loving the sensation of someone actually touching you in an area that had been unexplored before.

The long-haired Marauder began to unbutton your shirt from the bottom, slowly grazing over your navel until there was only one single button holding your shirt together in between your breasts.

Remus pulled back to peek down at your body, sucking in a breath as his eyes darkened, watching Sirius unbutton the last one with a simple flick of his fingers, exposing your front. Your shirt floated open to reveal the laced bra covering your breasts, but your perked nipples were still visible through the thin material.

“So fucking pretty”, James complimented as he pushed the offending material off your shoulders and onto the floor and stared down at your chest like the other two men. You were already flushing at the compliment and would have probably combusted if you could see the hungry gaze of the Marauders looking at your body.

James couldn’t wait anymore as his large hand cupped your breast and his tongue licked your nipple through the lace. “Ah!” your back arched into the touch, fingers desperately gripping into his messy hair, holding him there. Even though his tongue was warm and soft, the sensation it caused was like hot fire straight to your core, like a bolt that had your thighs rubbing together to try and ease some of the tension that was catapulting through you.

It felt so good that you were begging for more with a desperate plea as James moved to the other breast. Sirius was going absolutely feral for your moans, having wanted to hear them for so long but he needed to keep his calm, instead moving to inch his hand up your naked spine, finding the clasp of your bra and with a single kiss to the back of your head, undid the bra.

The thin straps fell from your shoulders and you had to momentarily release the grip on James’ hair to allow the material to fall completely from your body and onto the floor. Without even a second to process the venerable state that you were in, being topless around another person for the first time, James and Remus moved with sync and began to worship your breasts.

Each nipple was sucked into the warm mouth, teeth teasing the tip before being comforted by a stroke of a tongue, hands squeezing the rest of the flesh of your breasts, absolutely taking your breath away. Each movement had your body rock and underwear continuing to dampen.

Your head flew back against Sirius’ chest, glad that he was there to support you, feeling unsteady.

“Fuck, you look so beautiful” Sirius’ voice was rasping as he whispered into your ear. With gentle hands, he tilted your head back so that he could kiss you passionately, almost dizzy with lust, forgetting to breathe as his tongue stroked yours. Sensing your unsteadiness, Sirius pulled back, much to your distaste as you groaned in want. “Remember to breath”, he reminded you.

Remus pulled off your nipple with an audible ‘pop’, looking up into your face to make sure that you did as instructed, smiling as you gasped for a couple of breaths. Once again your knees felt unsteady with holding up your body as James gave a significant suck to your nipple.

“Let’s move onto a more sturdy surface”, Remus suggested but you were hardly even listening with the euphoria you were experiencing, feeling completely alive and blazing. However as you were moved by the three men, it was even more disorientating, not knowing where you even were in the room anymore until you were being eased down onto the soft, silky bed.

Shifting until you could feel the divots of the pillow in the centre of the bed, it dawned on you just how exposed and intimate it was with the position that you were in. Especially as you weren’t joined immediately, knowing they were looking at you lying and waiting on the bed for them.

Eventually, one of them climbed onto the bed and you could feel it dip by your feet as whoever it was inched between your legs, crawling your body until they were able to kiss up your sternum. Moaning as whoever was touching your body, grazed the edge of your trousers, teasing for them to be undone.

Then the bed was shifting again as someone else climbed onto it, picking up one of your hands, kissing your palm, and making his way up your forearm. The lips tickled the skin as they made their own journey towards your mouth before you were devoured by Sirius, his taste exploding against your tongue as he released his own groan that caused your hips to roll against Remus, hinting for him to carry on with his plan.

Slowly, your trouser button and zipper were undone to allow him to begin pulling them down your legs. Remus was quick to kiss the newly exposed skin down your legs, whispering “beautiful” between pecks.

“You’ll tell us to stop if it’s too much…?” James asked from across the bed, he’d been watching his friends devour you, trying to memorise the sight before him, knowing they were approaching a place that they could not return from.

“Don’t stop,” you say breathlessly as Sirius had moved away for you to answer the question. Remus grinned against your leg, hooking his fingers into your underwear, dragging the material down your naked legs and at the same time, James began leaning down to kiss your breasts again, making sure to keep your arousal high as he ran the rips of his fingers over the curves of your hips, hitting a particulary sensitive spot on the inside.

Sirius wanted to kiss you again, seeing you completely naked on the bed but he also wanted to see your reaction to being touched for the first time so he waited, even though you were half covered by the blindfold, he watched your mouth as Remus made the first move between your legs.

With his scarred hand he began by brushing a hand over your mound, tickling the skin, as he used his other hand to open your legs up further, giving him a better view as his thumb finally stroked your clit.

“Oh Merlin”, you cried out, back arching which only pushed your breast further into James’ mouth. You couldn’t believe this was actually happening, someone was actually touching your pussy.

Remus didn’t want to completely overwhelm you so made sure to keep his mouth nibbling along the sensitive skin of your inner thigh, watching how your body reacted to all of the delicate touches. His thumb rolled your clit slowly in circles, matching the way you were rolling your hips.

“Have you ever touched yourself here?” Remus asked with a sly smirk plastered across your face, no that you could see it. Sirius was still watching you just as intensely as Remus as he gripped your jaw tenderly, holding you there.

“Yes”.

James smiled around your puffy nipple, groaning at the thought.

“How do you touch yourself?” Remus continued his questioning.

Thankful for the blindfold, even though you were slightly embarrassed at least you weren’t having to look at them as you answered. “I…I touch myself where you’re touching”, referring to your bundle of nerves.

Remus pressed a fraction harder, drawing a moan from you. “What, here?”

“Yes”.

“Where else?”

“I … sometimes put a finger inside of me”, actually saying these words to him, your best friend was thrilling, especially as with each answer you gave, one of the three men would moan deeply.

“Just one finger?”

“Two”, you answered honestly.

“Good girl”, Sirius says to your honesty, his thumb brushing your jaw in a calming way. The praise he uttered was almost like a lightbulb moment which Remus noticed instantly as your hole suddenly clenched in arousal.

“What else do you do?” Remus continued to ask, wanting to know every single detail of your masturbation.

You were so lost in your arousal that you began talking without thinking, breathing heavily now with your mouth gaping open. “I… hump my pillow and think about this”.

This confession seemed to stop them in confusion, groaning as Remus had stopped his motions.

“What do you mean by ‘this’, love?”, James asked from your chest. You wanted to escape and tried to hide your face in the bed but Sirius’ grip held strong and then he tutted, understanding just what you meant.

“By this… did you mean us? Do you think about us when you’re touching yourself?”

“Yes”, you admitted, past the point of caring now.

“Fuck”, one of them cursed.

“Want to know something?” Sirius continued, “I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve pumped my cock with you in mind. I’ve been dreaming of this moment for so long.”

Remus didn’t give you time to respond as he teased your entrance with his finger, his thumb continuing to tease your favourite spot. Your hips were still rolling desperate to feel more and he took that as his sign to finally breach your walls.

“Fuck, you’re so wet”, Remus groaned as he pushed his finger inside of your cunt. It was a sensation you weren’t entirely sure how to explain, it was so different to your smaller fingers but all you knew was that you wanted more as he began to slowly pull out to push back in.

Sirius and James stopped to watch how you reacted, finding it the most beautiful sight as you breathed greedily, hands clenching the sheets harshly, thighs shaking from having to keep them open, wanting nothing more than to slam them shut and ride his hand much like you’d imagined with your pillow all of those times.

As Remus added another finger to your eagerly awaiting cunt, James and Sirius swapped positions. Sirius teased and played with your breasts and kissed along your sternum as James moved between leaving open-mouth kisses along your throat, to absorbing your moans with his own mouth.

Remus was careful not to hurt you, knowing this was the first time you’d had anything the size of his fingers in there, making sure that you were wet enough and relaxed before curling his fingers and pressing more firmly in swipes across your bundle of nerves.

It was an instant reaction, to reach for that pleasure as you released the grip on the bed to try and grab Remus but instead held onto James and Sirius's heads, using them as momentum to ride the fingers inside of you.

The sensation swarmed you quickly, the coil in your abdomen almost overwhelmingly tight as you called out into Sirius’ mouth, the orgasm taking your breath away completely, legs dropping down onto the bed.

All the whilst, Remus was praising you, “That’s a good girl, you’re doing so well”. It was unlike anything you’d been able to give to yourself and it took a moment to catch your breath as the three of them waited patiently. Your entire body felt relaxed in the after-orgasmic glow.

“What do you want to do sweetheart? Do you want to stop?” Sirius asked as he tenderly kissed your cheek, something you leaned into.

“No, I want to keep going but… I don’t think-, I mean, all three of you, I don’t-”.

“Shh”, Sirius cut off your words with a swipe of his thumb against your lips. “Not all three of us, not with your first time darling. We have all the time in the world for more”. Your heart pounded at the possibility that this wasn’t a one-time thing but then another mouth next to your other ear had you drifting back to the moment as he kissed along the shell of your ear.

“It’ll just be me today my love, how does that sound? I’ll look after you…”

You nodded your head, wanting him desperately, not that it mattered which of the three it was, this was actually happening, your arousal spiking once more as you turned your head towards James to try and kiss him which he gladly reciprocated.

But all too quickly he was leaning away from you, leaving that side of your body cold and empty. “You’ll tell me to stop if you need me to, won’t you?” James asked from somewhere further than on the bed as he began to strip off his clothes, not that you could see.

“Yes”, you verbally say rather than nodding your head, hand reaching out to touch one of them, smiling when Sirius’ lips nipped the tips of your fingers, nuzzling into your palm as you rested it against his cheek.

Remus also moved on the bed, climbing over your body to move his lips against yours, distracting you completely from the situation but then as James’ hands began trailing over your legs, parting them and giving him room did it dawn on you again that you were actually about to lose your virginity.

Remus and Sirius seemed to move away now leaving you and James in the middle of the bed. “Do you want to keep this on?” James asked, poking the material tied around your head.

Contemplating for a moment - even though all of this foreplay had been fun with the blindfold and it had helped with your anxiety, your virginity could only be taken once and you wanted to fully be in the moment so steadily, you removed the cloth from covering your eyes.

It took a moment of squinting your eyes to adjust properly to the light in the room that mostly came from the fire at the other end of the room. What you’d anticipated were regret and fear but as James gazed down at you with his soft brown, wide eyes, and glasses fixed on his face all you felt was safe in his arms.

Even as you caught sight of Remus and Sirius to the sides, their hands moving up and down their shafts as they chased their own highs watching the two of you, it didn’t feel embarrassing, it felt right. There was no one you trusted more in the world than these three and even in this vulnerable state, you wanted nothing more than to stay in this moment forever.

“Hi,” you said timidly up at him, a smile spreading across his handsome face in response. James lowered his body over yours, almost cocooning and moulding the two of you together and his natural body heat helped to keep you relaxed as his nose bumped yours.

“It’s just us, love”, he whispered against your lips before kissing you, tongue dancing with your own making you moan at the taste of him. Your legs moved on their own accord, wrapping around his hips, ankles locking together, almost pulling him closer until you felt his noticeable length graze your thigh.

Trying not to lose your cool, your hands landed on his shoulders, feeling the toned muscles beneath before cupping his jaw as he pulled back. James watched your face closely, wanting to see every emotion that you had as his hand disappeared between your bodies to align his cock with your cunt.

Similarly to Remus, James was very aware that this was your first time and was very aware that this could potentially hurt so he moved slowly, his tip gradually breaching your hole.

Your eyebrows knitted together, your mouth dropping open as you looked down to where your bodies were now joined. It was intense the further he moved, it wasn’t horrifically painful but still stung as you stretched to a size you’d definitely never had before. James stopped at one point, not fully penetrating in but just giving your body to adjust as he finally dipped his head to kiss your swollen lips, distracting you from the discomfort.

The Marauder waited for you to nod your head to continue moving and after a few more small thrusts, your cunt had accustomed to his size, even beginning to move your hips with his. His cock felt so incredibly deep inside of you, each fuck in and out was hitting every single spot that you craved to be touched.

James groaned at how tight you felt, almost suffocating his cock, it was unbelievably good, seeing how you looked underneath him, your eyes glazed, mouth open in a constant string of moans.

You were so lost in the emotions and pleasure that you couldn’t even speak and warn that you were about to cum but James could tell by the tightening of your cunt. “Cum for me sweetheart, fuck you feel so good”, James encouraged.

He held intense eye contact, mouths brushing each other but not fully kissing, just remaining close so you came hard once more, thighs squeezing his hips harshly.

“Wait, ahh-” you cry out, needing James to pause with how sensitive you were feeling and James had to hide his face into your neck from not cumming with how tightly your cunt was convulsing around his cock. It took a few minutes of deep breathing and James’ hands massaging over your body to calm enough before rolling your hips, signalling for James to continue.

As he began to thrust back into you, the messy-haired man sat back on his knees, pushing both of your legs up to your chest which was when Sirius and Remus moved back over to the bed and you were thankful for this, almost like they could read your mind as you were about to moan for them.

In this position, it gave Sirius the perfect opportunity to circle your clit with his fingers in time with James' thrusts. You were crying out again, throat beginning to feel raw with how much you’d been moaning but you also never wanted it to end, it just felt so good.

Remus casually sat next to you, his hand continuing to pump his impressively sized cock, and he smirked as he caught you looking at it with wide eyes, not understanding how that would ever fit in you.

You wanted desperately to kiss Remus but he simply held your jaw so that you had to watch him touching himself as he watched you getting fucked by his best friend.

James' moans increased in sound as his cock throbbed inside of you, desperately close to reaching his own climax.

“Is he making you feel good?” Remus asked, looking down your body at where Sirius was touching you.

“Yes, he feels so good, I think I’m going to cum again”, you admitted between moans, Sirius’ fingers moving with more pressure as he heard how close you were.

“Good, I want you to cum before Prongs does”, Remus’s dominant tone had you heating with even more arousal if that was even possible. His intense stare, the hold on your jaw, the guarantee of feeling safe, there was no way you weren’t going to cum that very moment.

Chanting ‘yes’ with each thrust, you came, eyes having to close to try and remain in control and this was all James needed to release his cum deep within your cunt, groaning needing at how fucking good you felt. You felt almost close to tears with the stimulation you’d experienced, your body reeling from the multiple orgasms but also aching from being licked, stroked and fucked, it was a little overwhelming now.

James eased his cock out of your hole causing you to wince slightly as the euphoric feelings began to fade away, you still felt good but needed a good rest. The brown-eyed boy smiled apologetically down at you, gently kissing your cheek before climbing off of the bed to retrieve his wand from his discarded trouser pockets.

Just as you were able to ask for a tissue to clean up in between your legs, James waved his wand and the mess that was a mixture of yours and his juices disappeared.

“Thank you”, your voice was quiet, thick with exhaustion as you dropped your head onto the bed. Sirius was soon crawling next to you, his body quickly wrapping around yours, causing you to turn on to your side, his face nuzzling into your neck.

What was going to happen now? Would they even want to still be your friend? Would you all wake up tomorrow and regret what had happened? You knew for sure that you didn’t regret anything only worried for the repercussions.

A flick to the tip of your nose had you glancing up at Remus as he too lay on the bed now, facing you and it then only registered that he and Sirius had cum whilst watching you being fucked by James but you’d been so lost in your own pleasure that you hadn’t noticed.

“Stop thinking so hard”, Remus whispered, stroking your cheek tenderly. “We’ll talk about this all tomorrow but you haven’t lost us, we’ll still be right by your side when you wake up”. You took a deep breath, the tension melting away as you smiled at him before closing your eyes.

Tomorrow was a new day, a new start to whatever was going on between the four of you but one thing was certain, you’d need to speak to Lily about making some birth control potion soon.

#poly!marauders #marauders smut #marauders one shot #the marauders #james potter smut #james potter one shot #james potter #sirius black smut #sirius black one shot #sirius black #remus lupin one shot #remus lupin smut #remus lupin #hp smut #hp one shot #hp #mine*

[violet-eng]

Neuvillette and his arranged marriage with fem!reader - NSFW

Summary: so... Furina is such a gossipy and she's kinda boring so she wants Neuvillette to marry to some random girl that can be a challenge for him... would he like this traveler?

TW: smut. Has a plot. Kinda angst? p i v. Breeding kink, praising. Unprotected sex with this daddy judge. I think that's all... MINORS DO NOT INTERACT PLEASE JUST KEEP SCROLLING.

🎨: @zlidbhypy/@zljdbhypy

💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦

The judge had lived long enough to be carried away by appearances, his image in society was expected of a man with his profession, with his knowledge and his stature. However, in the eyes of Lady Furina, as much a lover of spectacle and scandal as possible, the great judge needed a slightly more modern image to present to the citizens of Fontaine-and perhaps to bring a little gossip as well.

The idea had consumed her so much that at the moment she met you she could think of nothing else but arranging an engagement with Monsieur Neuvillette. You were the living image of what she was looking for: a young woman of society, a foreigner with a wide knowledge of the vast continent and above all, ambitious. 

There was a flash that Lady Furina highlighted in you, a furious soul difficult to tame, a challenge for the great judge. How fun it would be to see that: the distinguished gentleman try to control the disdain of his future wife, lover of saucers with spicy mixes, so friendly to those with vision Pyro... almost as contrary to him.

You met Neuvillette a day before the wedding, when Lady Furina had given him the wonderful news that he would marry you. He could not refuse, not the Archon, and she was aware of that-that made the matter more fun.

Neuvillette looked serene during the announcement, did not give the Archon the joy of a grimace of disgust... of course not, he was not like that...

On the wedding day rain fell so much as to drown the neighboring nations, tormenting those present of the ceremony. Monsieur Neuvillette was outside the compound, admiring the horizon, yearning for the freedom he possessed years before. To this had its existence been reduced? To be a puppet for the entertainment of the Archon? To tie himself for life to a woman he didn’t even know? If only he could return to his old form... spread his wings and get out of that place...

"The rain is wonderful," you exclaimed beside him, tearing from his chest an impression he managed to hide. "I hope the tears of the Hydro dragon are of happiness for the wedding and not of misery".

"They’re just legends, stories for children," he said, though an inch of him, deep down, was delighted by the idea that unlike the rest of Fontaine’s inhabitants, you didn’t dislike the rain... the one he was provoking...

"All legends have some truth in them," you whispered, giving him a sincere smile.

The ceremony had been short because of the rain, yet your happiness was overflowing. Your dress was drenched, your hair was alike... Everything was ruined, Lady Furina kept saying it, and yet you seemed to be living the best day of your life. Neuvillette could not look away from you at any moment, you had bewitched him, a single phrase had sufficed to achieve that...

The room was spacious, exquisitely decorated, illuminated to depth, the details and finishes seemed measured with hard effort... very much like the great judge. You had been unwise to ask if you had separate rooms, that had upset him for a moment... You certainly didn’t seem to have the same scruples as him.

You opened the window of the room, resting your elbows on the frame and sucking the dew that the rain brought with it. Neuvillette stood still in his place, looking at your figure, analyzing every detail of your silhouette, trying to perceive your essence, your energy... There was definitely something special about you.

"Can I come out?" you asked, were you asking permission?

"You must not ask for my consent to be free in the place" actually, he did not think it proper from you to ask permission for something… he perceived you from the first instant as a free being in tune with nature.

"It’s my way of asking you to go out with me to enjoy the rain," you said, approaching him and extending your hand. 

The thick drops of water hit the roofs, the fountain of the courtyard was about to overflow with water, the surface covered of the leaves that the wind had brought with it. You got rid of your coat and your shoes, went into the fountain and sat in the middle, above the water level, your legs dipping, you picked up the dress on your knees. The fabric was thin, almost transparent now that you were soaked and uncovered. Neuvillette scanned the surroundings, hoping no one would look at you, you were his wife... was he jealous? No, it was a simple sense of duty now that he was a married man...

"Come closer" you said from your position, pointing your finger at the place in front of you. Neuvillette, almost hypnotized by your loud attitude, dragged his feet towards your spot, sitting across from you, likewise, his legs underwater. The familiarity of the rain on the current that had formed under his feet was pleasant, almost satisfactory, so much so that it incited him to move his hands on the surface of the water, forming figures that allowed his hydro vision. You smiled at the small spectacle he displayed for you, admiring the sublime movement of his hands, the way his fingers flexed on the leaves and the drops of water ran down his hands.

You leaned toward him, taking him by surprise, joining your lips with his. He did not turn away, but, on the contrary, he dropped his hand against your neck, drawing you closer to him, tasting the nectar of your lips and your tongue.

"I want something to be clear" you dictated separating yourself from him, "we’ll have children... not because the charlatan Archon wants it for her entertainment, no... we will have children because we both want it, it was clear?".

For all the Archons... those words coming out of your mouth, pure poison, so hostile to the Archon, calling her in a way that he could never, with your face framed by your soaked locks and your lips swollen by the kiss... There was nothing he could want but a woman like you. 

The matter of your affinity for the falling flood, added to your folly of calling the archon such a derogatory name... you were an interesting, exceptional creature whose behavior went beyond his control and knowledge. You were a challenge... his challenge... and his enthusiasm grew in his chest as well as in his pants.

You had both returned to the room in sultry form, between kisses and gasps, getting rid of your clothes on the way. He cornered you on the wall of the entrance, his hand in fist resting above your head, his forehead against yours, the other hand holding your chin, joining his eyes. Neuvillette’s chest rose strongly, seeking air, bewildered by the growing ecstasy, the desire among you that was born. 

Taking you by the waist, he turned you against the wall, your face crashing against the cold marble and your palms resting at your sides. You felt his breathing on your neck, his chest against your back, his hands sliding over your curves, right to your hips, over your panties. You let out a soft moan as you felt the fabric slip under your legs and fall to your ankles.

"Monsieur..." you whispered trembling as the cold pouring through the room brushed your thighs and bare ass. 

"You don’t look as bold as you did a few minutes ago," he whispered... low, almost growling, you swore he was smiling, you sensed it in his voice.

"It’s... just... ah~" you cut the phrase in half when you felt him slip into you, separating your folds, forcing you to suck it. Your hands in fist, your hips rising, trying to avoid its passage inside you, your shoulders gathering at the sensation that flooded your center, your sex. 

"Monsieur~" you moaned, your forehead wet against the marble, your hands scratching the wall looking for something to soothe the burning between your legs, the feeling of its length between your damp walls.

You didn’t think the judge would be so vocal. When he slipped into you, he grunted, so pleasantly your legs seemed to melt. You felt the breath of his groan in your ear, your name coming from his lips.

"So soft" he whispered, resting his hands on yours, his forehead on your shoulder, "so tight..." continued advancing, rising to the bottom, "so mine"...

Neuvillette fucked you against that wall as if he was in heat-and perhaps he was-as if you were going to escape at any time from his grip, though you couldn’t. 

The moans and gasps were embarrassing, thanks to the rain they did not cross the walls, the sound of wet skin crashing during each penetration was burning, lustful. The words that came out of the judge’s mouth every time you girded your limb were a sea of incongruities, just as the phrases that your mouth dropped when he caressed your clitoris, that little lump had become his favorite toy.

The onslaught was strong, your breasts pounding against the wall every time he burst into you, rubbing against your delicate interior, which seemed made for him.

"You take me so well," he groaned, as he continued his beat against you, your breasts rising and falling down the wall. You were trapped between the wall and the monster of pleasure the judge had become.

"I will fill you with my seed, I swear..." he gasped again, his voice raspy, with flashes of hunger and lust.

"Neuvillette~" you let out a high-pitched moan, had touched your point, that felt so fucking good, the way he arched to hit that gummy dot on your cervix. He kept going, and kept going, you didn’t want him to stop. Fuck, he was so good at it, who’d say a gentleman of his countenance could be taking you like an animal in heat.

He kept hitting that delicious spot inside you, stroking your sensitive organ, one, two... three times, you suddenly felt a knot forming in your belly.

"Oh my~... don’t stop Neuvillette~..." you begged, eyes closed, lips separated by groans. The sound of his gasps flooding your eardrum... you both were close…

His onslaught lost rhythm, the intensity was almost unbearable, he came out one last time to get into you, fucking you so hard that you felt your orgasm burst and you let out a scream. He would not take long to reach his climax similarly, unloading all his seed inside you

The bed was warm, you needed it after what happened... Neuvillette lay beside you, caressing your cheek, watching the way you fell asleep. 

He looked out the window, the rain had stopped. He was completely happy... so long ago that he did not feel the fullness he had at the time... 

He placed a soft kiss on your forehead, curling your head in his chest, feeling the warmth of your gentle breathing. He closed his eyes, falling asleep beside you, yearning to tell you one day about his identity... someday…

#genshin smut #genshin #genshin impact #neuvillette #neuvilette genshin #neuvilette x reader #neuvilette smut #genshin impact smut #smut

[silkjade]

STILL WITH HEARTS BEATING

alhaitham x reader ⤀ warnings: gn!reader, insecurity issues, fear of vulnerability, hurt/comfort, selfship coded a/n: a vent drabble, so everything is super self indulgent + reader is based on me lol

“tell me atlas. what is heavier: the world or its people’s hearts?” — darshana suresh

although he prefers to keep his nose buried in a book, alhaitham is still as perceptive as ever, taking note of all the minuscule changes in your demeanor, even whilst you don a mask to stifle your woes.

he sees it first in the wistful sighs scattered amongst your too calm breaths, in your crafted smile, too practiced to be natural, and the strained words that fall too heavily out your lips, each in a race to prove that everything is normal and fine—that any anomalous behavior might only be the ramifications of an exhausting day.

your name rolls so naturally off his tongue, as he reaches out to you, catching your wrist before you can disappear into the bedroom and sleep away your swallowed emotions.

“are you alright?”

he asks out of courtesy, but to him, the signs are clear as day: the sharp inhale and slow exhale as you rally to fabricate another facade, chin tilted just a smidge too high as you turn to face him, dull eyes glistening with the remnants of unshed tears, forced to retreat by the winged flutter of your lashes.

to him, the signs are clear as day that you are not, that you are only putting on a brave face, something which he finds odd within the threshold of your shared home.

“just tired is all,” you reply, speaking in half truths. after all, it's exhausting trying to keep up appearances when all you wish to do, is to curl into yourself and rot into your bed.

you flash him a quick smile, small and devoid of warmth; a lame imposter to the very one he’s grown so terribly fond of.

he repeats your name, this time softer, brows knitted with equal parts skepticism and concern at your empty words. filled with even emptier spirit, he notes.

nonchalant, rehearsed, refined—and yet, he can hear the melancholia that spills into your tone. see the downward twitch of your lead-laden lips and the watery shift of your eyes as you avert your gaze in self-consciousness.

“you don’t have to hide from me,” he murmurs, and you want to believe him, want to believe that you’re brave enough to lay down your defenses, that you can trust him to hold your porcelain heart in his hands without threat of endangerment.

you open your mouth to speak, but not a sound comes out as the words turn to bile in your throat. to swallow the bitter liquid, or to spit your heart out and lay it bare for him to see. for alhaitham, who is more than just an akademiya giant, but a cornerstone of sumeru itself: brilliant and brave, kind in spite of his unconventional displays. the sun who shines by the heat of his own radiance.

his moon, he calls you. and yet the moon does not glow; the moon whose only light is a reflection of the sun.

you purse your lips, internally willing yourself to believe that these tears will not spill. it'd be egregious—like coughing up blood when you too have a reputation to uphold, a certain presence to be perceived. for even the moon, who shines by grace of borrowed light, is steadfast in its quiet elegance.

“it’s fine,” you insist, “really.” it’s heavy under the weight of your pride, but at least your heart is safe here in your chest, isolated and tucked away.

you push until he relents, relaxing his grip around your wrist. good, you think, he's given up. but then why does it so painfully squeeze your heart in a way you cannot convey—like a hair-lined fracture upon your brittle bones.

but alhaitham is no fool; he intends to prove he’d catch you before you can shatter, freeing your wrist, only so that he might pull you into his arms instead. there is no shortage to the vast infinity of words he can say, but matters of the heart have never been his forte… and so he hopes that his actions might speak more profoundly than his words.

the sudden impact blows your eyes wide with surprise, tears already threatening to spill from the solace of just his embrace. there are no sounds other than his steady heart and even breaths, no scent besides the faded woody fragrance of his cologne. it's safe here, cocooned in his arms, and you think that for a moment, perhaps everything is and will be fine.

you relax against him, basking in his warmth, as you rest into the crook of his neck, absentmindedly staring at the patterns on the floor.

“you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to,” he whispers, “but please don’t hide from me.”

your hands, pressed flush against his chest, curl into themselves, relieved that he cannot see the tears welling in your eyes. he does, however, feel that first crystalline droplet that slides freely down your cheeks, melting into the fabric of his clothes as more follow. alhaitham runs his fingers through your hair, while his other hand hugs you by the small of your back, holding you ever closer. the occasional sob racks your body, silent and reluctant, but it’s a start.

a heart is a complex web of earnest emotions, floridly woven into secrets he cannot fault you for keeping locked away in a vault. perhaps one day, you’d rely on him, let him in to share the burden. and if he should be so lucky, perhaps you'd deem him worthy to be your home, so that you might rest with him, without armor. as for now, he’ll gladly cushion your fall, give you a soft place to land.

in the night’s dark embrace, the moon’s milky light paints patterns through the stained glass window of your bedroom, and behind you, your lover’s arms stay wrapped around your waist, holding you close beneath the blankets.

“… alhaitham?” your voice is delicate, spun from silk amidst the quiet of the night.

“hmm?” he peaks an eye open at the unfamiliar use of his full name.

“if I ask you something, do you promise to answer honestly?”

“I don’t see any reason not to.” The low vibrations of his tone tickles your skin as he replies with a kiss to your shoulder.

“am I…,” you hesitate, voice wavering as you contemplate whether words whispered into the wind might write itself into stone. “am I… enough for you?”

the seconds seem to stand still, as if all the world and even the sky itself, were holding its breath in bated anticipation.

finally, a creak cuts through the silence as the bed shifts alongside alhaitham, who now hovers over you, his body and arms trapping you in between. the intensity of his gaze prompts you to look away, but he reaches for your chin, holding you gently so that you have nowhere to look, save for his technicolored eyes.

enough for him? is that what you were upset about? what a shame, he thinks.

“If you could only see what I see,” he murmurs, with a kiss to your forehead. his moon, his stars, his entire night sky, who guides him in the dark.

“intelligent, intuitive, independent,” he murmurs, kissing along your jaw, and down your neck in between each word. “outspoken and fiercely strong. beautiful, capable of anything…”

alhaitham glances up, only satisfied once the insecurity is dispelled from your features, replaced by an absolute reassurance.

"… which I knew from the moment you made me fall completely in love with you."

he peppers your face with little kisses, and you can’t help but let out a soft laugh, almost embarrassed. “haitham…”

alhaitham pauses at your first genuine smile of the night. “I mean every word. you’re more than enough, just as you are. and no one should be able to take that away from you, so…”

he rolls back into bed, pulling you with him as he goes, so that you might drift to sleep with your head rested atop his chest, listening to the steady tune of his heart, as it sings to you in your dreams.

a/n2: this was actually vry therapeutic but i did not intend for it to get this long, and so i m a bit embarrassed (don’t perceive) however if u have made it this far, as always, thank u for reading ♡

© silkjade — do not steal, plagiarize, translate or repost any content onto any other platform

#— 𝓼𝓲𝓰𝓷𝓮𝓭 𝓙. ༯ #alhaitham x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #al haitham x reader #alhaitham x you #genshin drabbles #genshin impact drabbles #alhaitham comfort #alhaitham x reader comfort #alhaitham x reader fluff #alhaitham fluff #genshin fluff #genshin comfort #genshin impact x you #genshin x you

[lexsssu]

Inhuman (Adrian Tepes | Alucard)

TAGS: Alucard/Dragoness!reader, alternate universe, pining, sex pollen, morning after, breeding, impregnation, smut, oneshot Ao3 ver.

Darkness is something many feared for it brought about horrors both real and imaginary to life. The cover of night hid that which screeched at the light of day and yet there is a certain stillness and calm found in the dark.

Adrian never felt that the dark was something to be afraid of, but rather a hidden peace and tranquility when one decides to walk about during the twilight hours.

All is still until a flash of bright light illuminated the landscape, revealing everything which once hid within the blanket of night for barely a second before gradually fading away.

Normally, the dhampir would have chalked it up as yet another one of nature’s great mysteries before trying to see for himself what caused it. Blame his loving parents who naturally nurtured his inquisitive nature.

However, before he could even step another foot forward he saw something falling from the sky and as it got closer to the ground, his eyes perceived an unmistakably human form.

He didn’t need to think for another second as his body rocketed upwards in a great leap, lean yet toned arms grasping the surprisingly soft and tiny figure. As the air whipped around him during his descent, he took his first good look as to who or what he decided to save in the first place.

The blonde’s eyes widened, breath hitching in his throat as he beheld what could only be an angel, a being of pure light within his embrace.

Your silken ivory hair crowns your head and drapes over your heart-shaped face gracefully, petal-like lips which gleamed with a soft pink sheen, eyelashes like lush crescents that seem to teasingly hide what he could only imagine to be the most beautiful jeweled orbs in the world, and a spattering of silvery-white scales that travel from said cheeks down to your neck and the rest of your body hidden beneath your bodice.

You are clearly inhuman.

And yet, never has Adrian felt more human than he did right now especially as your eyes flutter open and meet with his own mesmerized pair.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“...make sure to grind them thoroughly, my dear. They have to be a fine paste before we can proceed with the next step”

“Okay, Miss Lisa. I’ll do my best!”

“Feel free to just call me mother. I’ve seen you as a daughter from the moment my son brought you into our home and since my husband hasn’t given me any daughters...you’re the next best thing and I honestly couldn’t be any more grateful for your arrival in our lives.”

Hidden behind a tall shelf lined with various tomes and scrolls, the young man couldn’t help but take peeks at the two most important women in his life as they bonded with one another. His mother so easily took you under her wing when he brought you here and you weren’t averse to the motherly affections she directed at you.

Now if he could only be as forthright with his feelings as his mother and express himself to you, because you were clearly as dense as a rock and didn’t pick up any of the subtle hints he gave you about his intentions...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“If you’re really okay with someone like me...then please use me as much as you like,” with a red blush highlighting your soft cheeks, you try not to look at the flushed and heavily panting Adrian pinning you down upon his bed.

The dhampir had accidentally inhaled the pollen of some new plant you both came across while partaking in your regular walks together. It took effect immediately, the normally calm and composed blonde becoming so flustered and heated that you’d think he was running a fever with how much sweat dripped down his face.

The raging erection which tented at the front of his trousers told you everything you needed to know, however.

Even if it was only to help him, you don’t regret giving yourself to Adrian because you love him. Even after the effects wear off, you hope that you’ll still stay friends because you’ve grown to love this castle and all its wonders. But especially its inhabitants—

“While I would have preferred to put a ring on you first, I’m afraid that I’m at my limit...but I promise to properly wed you after this, my love.”

The night is a blur by the time you wake up the morning after. Hazy memories of soft and firm touches, wet and deep kisses, harsh grunts and pitiful mewls, and nails scratching against the skin of his toned back as your tight cunt is forced open by his lengthy cock. You don’t remember how many rounds you went last night, having lost count of the amount of times you felt him spraying his seed deep inside of you and how you oh so shamelessly tightened even further each time he painted your walls white.

“We must inform mother and father once they return from their little trip. I’m sure they’ll be thrilled at the news of our union...though perhaps I might be scolded for taking you to bed before the actual wedding…” Adrian chuckled, messy strands of blonde hair tumbling down his chest as he gazed down at you with his head propped up by his hand, all the while you seemed to have been using his chest as a pillow the whole time you were sleeping.

“A-Adrian…!” You squeak and sputter at his joke, blushing all the way to the tips of your ears which only seems to ignite the flames within the dhampir once more as he rolls himself on top of you.

“If you truly insist on seducing me yet again...I suppose it is simply a husband’s duty to satisfy his wife”

#lexsssu writes #castlevania #alucard x reader #adrian tepes x reader #alucard x y/n #alucard x you #adrian tepes x you #adrian tepes x y/n #crossposted on ao3 #castlevania x reader

[inbloomwriting]

Everything to me - Chapter 1

Chapter one - Apple seed

Story Masterlist

Plot: Jamie Tartt is a lot of things: professional footballer, the island's top scorer .... sexually, extremly handsome. But one thing he never saw himself as was a dad. Too bad he has to deal with the consequences of his own actions. This fic follows reader and Jamie as they navigate life and turn from practially strangers to parents. Pairing: Jaime Tartt x female reader Warnings: Pregnancy, swearing, mentions of food and alcohol, slight mention of sexual intimacy (nothing graphic), strained/toxic parental relationship Notes: 5.8k words. I do not have a set uploading schedule. Please bear with me as I work on this story. I know hardly anything about pregnancy, all my information comes from google. Likes, reblogs, comments are all much appreciated. I am German. Sometimes I get the tense wrong or make mistakes. I am useless when it comes to punctuation. Go easy on me, please

"You never understood you're everything to me I just hope you know, the future in your heart Is just about to start"

The universe must be mocking her, (Y/N) is sure of that. This is all one big elaborate joke and any minute now Ashton Kutcher is gonna jump out from behind some bushes and tell her that she has been punkd. 

She had a plan, all neatly laid out and organized. Blue ink on white paper in a fancy leather-bound notebook. Like a professional adult would do it who has their life all figured out. 

Renovate the store and get it back up and running

Sell it for profit 

Pay back Mum and get the fuck away from everyone and everything that has ever made her feel unworthy

That was the plan and she was so fucking determined to stick to it for once in her life. So this must be a prank. This must all be one big misunderstanding.

But it’s not a prank, is it? It’s the consequences of her own damn actions.

Her heart is racing as she climbs the stairs up towards Rebecca Welton’s office. Her legs and feet are heavy, like concrete. Why is being honest with your friends so damn hard? 

It’s not just any friend either. It’s Rebecca. Rebecca who has always been in her life ever since (Y/N) was just a kid. Rebecca who is the only person (Y/N) ever looked up to. Why is being honest with her so terrifying?

You know why! 

Yeah, (Y/N) knows why. Because she doesn’t know what she’ll do if Rebecca hates her for what happened. Of all the people in the world, she needs Rebecca on her side. 

As she lifts her hand and knocks on the door of the office, (Y/N) wonders if this is what death row inmates feel like. Knowing the end is inevitable and it’s all your own fault.

“Come in” 

Taking a deep breath, she opens the door and steps into the room. 3 pairs of eyes look back at her but really, the only ones that matter belong to the beautiful blonde sitting by the desk.

“(Y/N), Hi. What are you doing here? Did we have plans? I thought you went back — “

“Yeah I — no, we didn’t have plans.” 

It almost kills her, that smile that Rebecca sends her way. The one that’s so warm and loving and that’s been a constant in her life for most of her childhood and teenage years coming from Rebecca. Rebecca living in that lovely white house next door with the rose bushes and the big windows. Rebecca who taught her how to do the perfect eyeliner wing, who passed down her coolest leather jacket to her, who held her hair the first time she got wasted and threw up in those very rose bushes. Rebecca who was the older sister she never had. 

She loves that smile it used to bring so much comfort to her. Now it makes her want to die. The girl she used to be, deserved to be on the receiving end of that smile. She doubts she still deserves it.

“Can we—” (Y/N)’s eyes dart around the room towards Higgins, then towards the other man. He’s the American trainer, Ted. She’s talked to him once very briefly and he seems so — nice. Genuinely nice. Not for the sake of being perceived as a good person but because he just is. “— do you think we could talk privately?” 

There’s a flicker of concern in Rebecca’s eyes and (Y/N) hates that she put it there.

“Oh, of course. Ted, Leslie, would you excuse us?” 

Everything’s a blur. They leave and (Y/N) thinks Ted makes some kind of pun but she doesn’t really recognize anything but the racing of her heart and the sour feeling in her stomach. Oh, fuck.

Rebecca sits her down on the big couch by the window, the one that’s meant for personal talks, not business. She’s so nice. Oh, she's too nice.

“Are you dying?” 

“I — uh, no.”

“Okay, good.,” Rebecca says letting out a sigh of relief. “Now that that’s out of the way, can I offer you some tea?”

(Y/N) shakes her head.

“Coffee?” 

She repeats the motion

“Champagne?” Rebecca asks, a perfectly shaped eyebrow raised in question.

God, wouldn’t she kill for a glass of bubbly right now. 

“No, I’m good. Can you just come sit down, you’re making me nervous.” 

Not only does she sit down, Rebecca’s hand immediately finds (Y/N)’s, holding on warm and tight. It almost pulls an ironic scoff from (Y/N)’s lips. Mum doesn’t know but even if she did, she’d never offer this kind of comfort to her. She never did. So for a second, she lets herself relish in the affection. Just one second. 

“Okay, now out with it.” 

She’s rehearsed this conversation so many times in so many different ways. Like a school presentation. Meticulously planned. Even added in pauses for questions and shit like that.

All of that has vanished, her brain is empty, her tongue made of lead. 

“I uh — look um. Do you remember when your dad died?” 

Of all the ways she could’ve started this talk, this is probably the worst of them all. Who says things like that?

Rebecca seems a little taken aback for a moment before nodding her head and suppressing a slight smile, one brought on by the absurdity of the question, not by joy. “I do, yes. Hard to forget if I’m being honest.” 

“Yeah, I would know.” 

“Yeah.”

“So that night I was obviously very emotional because it reminded me of my dad and all of that bullshit.” Tears are already threatening to roll down her face, sitting on her waterline waiting for the right moment to strike. It’s impressive she still has any left to cry since that’s all she did the last few days.

“That’s understandable. Oh, please tell me you didn’t force yourself to come and relive all of your pain just because you felt like I expected you there? If I knew it was so hard on you I —” 

This, all of this, is twisting the knife so much deeper. Leave it to Rebecca to search for a fault of hers in all of (Y/N)’s mess.

“No, Rebecca, it's nothing like that. I — I fucked up. I let it all get to me and because I’m, well — me, I got a little tipsy. Went outside to get some air and there was this guy. God, Rebecca, he had the saddest eyes. I just felt this weird connection so I sat next to him. We talked and talked and then ended up going to a bar and then to my place and then to my bed and well yeah.” 

She giggles. Rebecca really has the audacity to giggle at that. In her defense, she tries to hold it in but it does slip out eventually. 

“It’s not funny.”

“Is this why you’re upset? You slept with someone at, no wait, after my father’s funeral. That’s okay.”

“There’s more.” 

"Oh, what is it? Was it a footballer?” 

At the lack of a vocal response, Rebecca connects the dots.

“Alright. That’s — that’s not so bad. I was seeing a 21-year-old footballer. I don’t see what’s making you so upset about this.” 

“I’m pregnant.” 

“Oh shit.” 

Getting Rebecca to swear was always something (Y/N) found a silly sense of pride in. Rebecca with her perfect hair and outfits and manners. It felt like something so alien to her and yet that was (Y/N)’s favorite version of Rebecca. The one that’s as messy as you and me even if it’s just for a second.

“Yeah, shit.” 

It’s the first time she said it out loud. Rebecca is the first person to know, except for (Y/N) herself and her gynecologist. Her mother doesn’t know. 

The father of the baby doesn’t know.

Just her and now Rebecca.

“And I don’t know what to do. This wasn’t the plan. Fuck — please don’t be mad.” 

“Why would I be mad? ” 

There is an infinite warmth in Rebecca’s eyes. A warmth she always longed for coming from her own mother but never received. A warmth that seems entirely misplaced right now. 

“I fucked your employee. I used your dad’s funeral to make the shittiest of all shit decisions and now I come here unloading all of this on you because I, once again, don’t know how to get myself out of the hole I dug.” 

Soft hands wrap around (Y/N)’s shoulder and pull her in. Rebecca smells like expensive perfume and hairspray. All comforting and familiar. It’s nice, (Y/N) thinks, that despite everything falling apart in and around her, there is at least one constant in her life. 

“Were you really afraid of telling me or are you just afraid?” 

She’s so smart and so observant, sometimes it’s infuriating. 

“I’m so scared, Rebecca.”

Life doesn’t ask if you’re ready. It doesn’t ease you into things, slow and gentle. There are no training wheels, no floaties. Life happens whether you’re prepared or not. It’s nice to know that there are arms wide open for you to fall into, a hand to pull you out of the roaring sea as you’re just about to drown.

“You can always unload on me, you know that right? That’s what family is for.” 

All the willpower to stay brave and collected and not cry, all that vanishes with Rebecca’s words. Family. They’re family. Maybe not by blood but definitely by fate. By choice. 

Mum would’ve told her to suck it up, to stop crying, and to face the consequences of her own actions. Would’ve probably had an “I knew this would happen” or an “I told you so” on the tip of her tongue. There is none of that with Rebecca. She just accepts the tears soaking through her, no doubt, expensive blouse and softly strokes (Y/N)’s head. 

For a long time, there are no words exchanged. Some moments ask for calmness not conversation. There’s something deeply therapeutic about crying on the shoulder of someone you deeply trust.

“Can I ask?” Rebecca inquires with a gentle voice just barely louder than a whisper.

She doesn’t have to elaborate. There are only so many questions people have after you told them you had a one-night stand and ended up pregnant. 

“You’re gonna hate the answer.” 

A laugh falls from Rebecca’s lips, her breath tickling the top of (Y/N)’s head. “Don’t tell me It’s Jamie.” 

“Okay, I won’t then.” 

“Oh, (Y/N).” 

Where there should be disappointment in her tone, there is understanding, there is slight amusement but above all, there is deep and honest care. 

“ Can you blame me? Look at him. He’s sculpted by the gods and something about that silly little accent does it for me. I hate to admit it, I truly do.” 

“Does he know?” 

(Y/N) shakes her head, guilt and fear coursing through her veins.

“I don’t even have his number. I know hardly anything about the guy other than that he’s a footballer, that his ego is huge, and that he likes to cuddle after sex.” 

Rebecca’s eyebrows rise in surprise. “Does he? Huh.”

“Yeah, it was really cute actually.” 

For a moment she almost gets lost in the memories of that night, however hazy they might be. Jamie was fun and to an extent he understood. And there’s nothing quite as sexy as a man who is just as sad and messed up as you. Is it healthy? Absolutely not but (Y/N) never claimed to have a particularly healthy view on anything. 

“He works here, you know. In this very building. You can just pop down and tell him.” 

The way Rebecca says it makes it sound so easy. Like it doesn’t come with a shit load of guilt and fear and embarrassment. 

“Wait, I didn’t even ask and I just realized that’s very presumptuous and maybe a little rude of me — do you even want to keep the baby?” 

That’s the big one. The question of all questions. It’s the second thought that came to her head when (Y/N) saw the two lines on that fateful plastic stick. The first one being “Oh fuck.” It’s the question her doctor asked. It’s in all of the leaflets and informational reading she’s been handed.

“I’ve never thought about it before. I mean sure I thought about some hypothetical future but those dreams always changed depending on my mood. Now I’m here and I need to make a choice and It’s — It’s terrifying.” 

“But?” 

“But I think I do want it. I think I want to be a — a mother.” 

It’s a word that feels strange on her tongue, bitter and sharp. Like biting down on your cheek and tasting blood. Mother was never the warm comfort of a home. It was the cold hand on her shoulder, the icy glance of disapproval. 

Maybe mother can be something else. Maybe she can turn it into something sweet.

“I’m just scared. This wasn’t the plan, not right now at least, and not like this. I’m scared of doing it alone.”

“What in the world does that mean? Alone?” 

“I don’t expect Jamie to step up. I’d appreciate it, of course. But he has a brilliant career and so much going for him. Getting me, a one-night-stand, pregnant could ruin so much for him. I don’t ever want that.” 

“No,” Rebecca says and cradles (Y/N)’s face between her warm hands “I mean, you’re not going to be alone. No matter what Jamie says. You have me. And I can guarantee you that there are at least 10 other people in this building right now who will also have your back. Whatever happens, I can promise you that you don’t have to do this alone. And don’t sell yourself short, you have a career too!” 

Maybe the universe isn’t mocking her after all. And maybe this isn’t a punishment either. Maybe this is just life pushing her into the deep end. Thank god she has people to help keep her afloat.

(Y/N)’s eyes wander from the clock on the wall towards the door then back. Over and over again.

Every time the door opens and someone leaves the locker room, her heart speeds up. Maybe if she dies of a heart attack right here and now she won’t have to talk to Jamie. That sounds like the most reasonable reaction. Anyone would agree. Right? 

The boys all regard her with a sense of cautious familiarity. They know her face, know they’ve seen her before but can’t recall where much less put a name to her. 

Well, all of them but Sam. He greets her with that big signature smile of his, so full of joy and sunshine. Calls out her name and asks her about her day. Rebecca might have a point that there are more people here that care about her. Their conversation is brief but there is no doubt in her mind that if she were to call him any time of the day, Sam would drop everything and help her out. That’s just the kind of person he is. 

She wonders if that’s the kind of person Jamie is. 

Another glance at the clock. 2 minutes pass. The door opens once more.

Jamie is smiling when he steps into the hallway. His hair is wet, probably from the shower, and held back by that silly little headband of his. He’s wearing a ridiculously bright orange hoodie and obnoxious colorful sneakers. Everyone else would look absolutely ridiculous in this get-up. Jamie makes it work. It must be some kind of superpower. 

Or maybe he’s just so unfairly fit that it doesn’t matter what he’s wearing. Even naked he looks phenomenal.

Stop thinking about him naked, that’s what got you into this mess.

“Oh, hi!” 

He’s so nonchalant, so casual when his eyes meet her’s across the hall. And really, why wouldn’t he be? What they had was casual. A one-night thing, no strings attached. Just two slightly broken people finding solace in each other. That was all it was supposed to be at least.

(Y/N) feels the weight of the secret resting so heavy on her shoulders, she’s sure she’ll collapse underneath it any second now. 

“Jamie, hi. Uh — can we talk?” 

“Sure, ‘bout what? Are you pregnant or something?” 

He says it with a smile, not giving a single thought to the fact that his joke might be no joke at all but the honest to god truth.

(Y/N) on the other hand, feels like someone doused her in ice water, just poured it all over her. Her hands are clammy, breathing shallow, heart racing. Maybe she’ll get that heart attack after all.

When she doesn’t answer, doesn’t laugh, Jamie’s eyes grow wide in return. Though his reputation might make you believe otherwise, he’s quite quick in putting two and two together. At least in this situation. He doesn’t look happy, that much she expected, but he doesn’t look upset either. He just looks shocked. There is nothing but pure disbelief on his face. The cocky smirk has dropped, now his mouth is opening and closing trying to produce words as his head is trying to process the information he just figured out.

“Do you want to go discuss this somewhere more private?” 

Of all the places to tell someone they got you pregnant, the hallway at his workplace might not be the more desirable. 

A pale-faced Jamie nods his head, his eyes distant and glassy. She knows the feeling, has been there just a few days ago. That’s his whole life playing like a movie in his head right there, now with added scenes of a small child with his eyes. Oh god, she hopes the baby gets his eyes.

Jamie drags her into a small room off of the main hallway. Cubicle cupboards line the walls, filled with shoes and boxes. Orange and bright green and yellow. Every possible color of the rainbow, they have a pair of shoes to match in here. The smell though? The smell has her gagging. Sweat and cold cigarette smoke. It’s disgusting. 

“Oh god, Jamie. This is disgusting.” 

“It’s the boot room. ‘s where we keep the boots — and people come here to smoke.” 

“They come here to smoke? On purpose? Like they chose to spend time in here?” 

Jamie absentmindedly nods his head. He’s so pale-looking (Y/N) fears he might just pass out any minute now. 

“Jamie, are you okay? Do you want to sit down?” 

His eyes start to focus again, looking straight at her. He’s terrified and quite honestly, she can’t blame him. Confusion and fear are all she’s felt for the last few days. A bit of excitement too, sure. But mostly the first two.

“Yeah. No. I mean yes. I guess? No. I — fuck.” 

Nervously he combs his fingers through his damp hair as if to calm himself down. Is that something his parents did to him when he was a kid? A motion of comfort? There is so much she doesn’t know about this man. If he decides that he wants to stick around, can this ever work? Can you raise a child with someone you hardly know and not completely fuck them up? 

“Is it mine, then? Are you sure about that?”

“No, I just like going around scaring people into believing they got me pregnant. Yes, Jamie! I am 100% certain.” 

His hands fly up in defense “Jesus, sorry. I don’t know your sexual history. You had sex with me after a funeral, don’t know how much you get around, now do I?” 

She had expected him to ask if it’s his, hell anyone probably would, but there’s something about his tone that is just so off-putting. The accusation that swings along with his words. The judgment. As if he is in any place to talk.

“Oh get off your high horse, dickhead. We both made that decision after the funeral. Didn't hear you complain. And out of the two of us, It’s not me who fucked a girl in a hot tub on national television. Eurgh” 

“You alright?” 

“No, this room is making me gag. I assume this is bad under normal circumstances but this pregnancy situation has my sense of smell going through the roof. This is killing me.” 

“Well, why didn’t you say nothing?! We could’ve gone somewhere else.” 

“I just wanted to — eurgh— I just wanted to get this over with.” 

“Let me get you out of —” 

“No, let me just say this real quick and then I’m off.” 

She’s prepared this speech a million and one times in a million and one ways. It always worked out fine but then again, her audience was just her cat and the mirror. Having Jamie look at her, a mix of concern and shock still on his face, that’s a whole different story.

“I am having this baby and I would like for you to be a part of their life, but I accept if you say no. Just know that whatever you decide, that’s final. I can’t have you running off and then coming back in a few years regretting your decision and wanting to be a parent after all. And I most definitely will not allow you to say you’re in and then give up on the baby halfway through. I had a parent like that, I will not have my child go through the same thing. I don’t need your decision now just — make up your mind and make sure you’re 100% certain. Here uh— “

Trying to hold her breath so as to not breathe in any more of the foul smell, (Y/N) rummages through her purse before pulling out a small piece of paper.

“They don’t usually do ultrasounds that early but I made friends with the nurse as I was waiting and they allowed me to get one and see the baby. Don’t really see shit on here if I’m being honest but apparently that blob is our child.” 

Jamie takes the picture, his eyes moving between the image and back to her, down to her stomach then back to the picture. It’s like his head and his eyes are trying to cope with the fact that there is a real baby growing inside her. His baby.

“I just thought you might want to have this, if not just throw it away. I’m not trying to manipulate or guilt you into anything. Let me know when you’ve made a decision. You know where I live and Rebecca has my number just ask her for it — I gotta get out of here. Eurgh.” 

And while an overwhelmed Jamie sinks to the floor of the boot room, ultrasound picture clutched in one hand while the other nervously combs through his hair, (Y/N) throws up in the bin by the front door. 

There are 3 things (Y/N) knows for certain. One of them is that Michelle Pfeiffer as Stephanie Zinone in Grease 2 is the coolest person in the world. The second one is that decaf coffee kinda sucks. And 3 is that whoever is knocking on her door at 9:15 tonight, disrupting her rewatch of Grease 2 better has a good reason to do so if they want to keep their head attached to their body.

Slowly she’s dragging herself towards the door. Today was exhaustion enough both physically and mentally, she really doesn’t need the stress of an unannounced visitor. Not when she’s dressed in an old, oversized Hardrock Cafe shirt, bike shorts, and those ridiculous yellow slippers she got on her last trip to Disney that look like Minnie Mouse’s shoes.

“I’m coming, Jesus — “ 

“I don’t know shit about babies.” 

Jamie looks different as he stands before her on her front steps, hair messy and flat against his head, wearing a big grey sweater. Gone is all the charming confidence and the mischievous smirks. He’s all sad eyes and shy smiles. He reminds (Y/N) of a sad, beaten puppy. She almost feels bad for him. Almost. That’s until the words that just fell from his lips really register in her mind.

“You could’ve just texted me you’re not interested. Didn’t have to come here, really.” 

“What? No, I am! “

“You just said —” 

“I said I don’t know shit about babies. Cause I don’t. But I’m not gonna run off.”

“You won’t?”

Jamie has never looked so genuine, so serious as in that moment and it sends a weird feeling through (Y/N). She didn’t have any expectations in him. You can’t really have those if you don’t even know the person. Sure, she hoped he would take interest in her and the baby but things truly could’ve gone either way. To hear him say that he wants to step up and be there, that’s a feeling she can’t really put into words.

“Can we uh — can I come in? Your neighbor is staring at me.” 

(Y/N) opens the door to let Jamie pass before leaning outside and facing the house next door. Sure enough, old Mrs. Hartley is standing by her window, eyes trained on (Y/N)’s front door. Jesus fucking Christ, do these people not have their own lives? 

The small pink couch looks even smaller with Jamie’s broad frame perched in the corner. He’s holding onto the fluffy white pillow as if he needs some kind of buoy to keep him afloat.

“Do you want tea or something?” 

“Do you have beer?” 

She only raises an eyebrow in response and points to her stomach. 

“Right. Pregnant. Forgot about that for a second, sorry. “

Oh, the privilege of getting to forget about that. 

“I have water, ginger ale, and apple juice.” 

Jamie screws his face in repulsion. If there is one thing she’s learned about Jamie Tartt in the limited time they’ve spent together, it’s that his emotions are always so clearly reflected on his face. She’s not sure he knows exactly how expressive he really is.

“I’m good. Here, I actually brought you some stuff.” 

As she sits down on the couch next to him, Jamie holds out a Tesco bag to her filled to the brim with stuff. 

“What’s all this?” 

He looks bashful, almost shy as he shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly. 

“Just some stuff for your nausea. Google said anything ginger helps so I got these lollies. Also sour candy and crackers. Not sure if it works but I felt so bad seeing you earlier and knowing it's kinda my fault, innit?."

It's such a sweet sentiment that (Y/N) can feel the tears gathering on her waterline. Maybe Jamie is the kind of person she can call when in need. Maybe he can become that person.

"That's very sweet Jamie, oh there's more."

It's a small box with two even smaller socks, so tiny it almost seems impossible that a human being can have such small feet. 

"Saw them and couldn't stop thinking about how cute they were and then I couldn’t stop imagining our baby being so tiny and wearing them and, yeah.” 

“They’re adorable, Jamie. Thank you.” 

His words wrap around her heart like vines. Taking root. Blooming. 

“Our baby”. The thought of having a baby is still so foreign to her. Her own baby, her child. Hearing Jamie call it theirs sends a flutter of feelings through her. Their baby. Part her and part Jamie.

“So what I meant earlier is that I don’t know shit about babies. None of my friends have babies, I have no siblings and all my cousins are around my age so I never really had experience with babies. I know they’re cute and I know they poop a lot. “

“They are pretty cute.”

“Yeah, and our baby?” he says and motions between the two of them “‘s gonna be the cutest fucking baby of all time. It’s genetics.”

The matter-of-fact tone in which he says it pulls a laugh from (Y/N). He does have a point though.

“I am not going to lie, I'm extremely unprepared for this. For being a — a dad.” 

There’s a bitterness there, a heaviness. Maybe Dad is as sharp and as cutting a concept to Jamie as Mum is to (Y/N). 

“Don’t have a dad. Well, I do but he’s right asshole, isn’t he. So I got no idea how to be good at this, had no one to show me. I’ll try though. I want to be different. I need to be. Promised myself when I was a kid that I was not going to be like him, ever.”

“I understand that, trust me Jamie I really do. But I need you to be sure that you want that. I don’t want you to stay around because of some misplaced sense of duty. I want you to want this.” 

"Didn't think I did. When you told me and you gave me an out I wanted to take it. But then I kept looking at that picture, can’t make out anything on it by the way but that doesn’t matter, I kept looking at it and that part of me. That's my baby and I couldn't live with meself if I gave up on it. On you. A lot of people have given up on me in my life and I resent them for it. I can't be the one giving up now, can I? I'm better than that."

She doesn't even realize the tears have found their way out until Jamie's face fills with concern. "Oh no, I didn't mean to make you cry or nothing."

"They're happy tears, I think. I'm really scared, Jamie. Knowing that I don't have to do this all by myself, that helps a bit."

"I promise I'll try to be the best at this. I'll even rub your feet if they're hurting and I fucking hate feet."

Leave it to Jamie to put the humor back into even the most serious and tense of conversations.

"You don't have to rub my feet, that's okay. I do think we should get to know each other better though, now that we're gonna be raising a child together. I know hardly anything about you."

"Uh, you know plenty about me. You know I'm fit, obviously. You know I have great hair. I'm good at football, fucking ace actually. Also sexually."

That little shit has the audacity to wink. it should be annoying. It's weirdly charming though.

"And now you also know that I'm gonna try my best to be good at this. Hey, when the baby is here can I get one of them kangaroo pouch thingies and take them to training with me?"

"Kangaroo pouch? You mean a baby carrier?"

"Yes, that! Strap it to my chest while I do my warm-up."

"You are not taking our baby to training with you, are you insane?"

"I'm joking, Jesus. Would look fucking cool though, maybe get us matching sunglasses. Hats too. Baby icon."

"Oh my god, you know what, maybe this is a bad idea after all."

But it's not, she doesn't mean that. Jamie knows it and (Y/N) knows that he knows. For the first time since those two lines appeared, it feels like she can breathe easy again if even just for a moment. Things will be hard, no doubt but at least she can share it with someone. And it's just an added bonus that someone never fails to put a smile on her face.

"What are you watching there anyway?" Jamie asks, nodding his head towards the tv.

"Grease 2."

"They made a second one? Is it good?"

"No, it's terrible. I love it."

"See," Jamie chimes up, a small genuine smile.on his lips "learned something new about you. The mother of my child loves bad movies. This getting to know each other plan is going so well already."

And while it is a joke, there's also a flicker of truth to it. It's the little things that make us who we are. Like our love for bad movies or our desire to be better than our parents before us.

"Do you wanna stay and watch it with me?"

"Can we start from the beginning?"

"Obviously"

"Then yes! Give me one of them ginger lollies please."

They spent the next few hours watching Grease 2 followed by the first because - well it's just right to watch them both, really. It doesn't feel forced or awkward. This is not two strangers trying to bond for the sake of their child. This is a genuine friendship in the making. It feels wonderful. They exchange numbers, birthdays, favorite colors. It’s all very superficial information but it’s a start and it’s easy. This whole situation is hard enough, sometimes easy is just what you need.

The clock says 12:03 when Jamie decides it's time to go home. 

Just as he is about to leave, one foot already out the door, he turns back with curious eyes.

"Do you know how big the baby is?"

"Uh, no. Pretty tiny I think."

"They didn't tell you what fruit size?"

"Fruit size?"

"Yeah like, it's as big as a strawberry now or something."

(Y/N) shakes her head in response "I think they mostly do that in American movies."

Jamie looks deflated for a fracture of a second before he lightens up again and one of those rare smiles takes over his face. The one that makes him look so boyish and excitable. Like a fucking golden retriever.

"That's okay. I'll find out."

"You do that. Let me know what you find. Have a good night Jamie."

"You too!" Then his eyes move to her stomach "And you too baby."

God, he can be so adorable it's absolutely sickening.

As she lays in bed, (Y/N) thinks back to just the night before. To the anxiety and the fear. To all the what-ifs that ghosted through her head. That seems like a whole lifetime ago and even though a lot of those fears are still present, they get overshadowed tonight. By the knowledge that she's not alone. And by the absolute sunshine that is Jamie Tartt. 

Just before she closes her eyes, her phone dings with a notification. 

Her hand comes to rest gently on her stomach. There’s no change there yet, absolutely no sign of a baby growing in there at this very moment. And yet she knows and that makes all the difference. 

In a voice, soft like silk, she whispers “Daddy says goodnight”. It’s cheesy, outright sickening but in the dark of the night, who is there to judge her for it? Sometimes you have to let yourself be ridiculous and cringy if your heart demands it.

That night she doesn't fall asleep to fear and anxiety. That night she falls asleep with a smile on her face. 

#jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt x female reader #jamie tartt x f!reader #jamie tartt x fem!reader #jamie tartt fanfiction #jamie tartt x y/n #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt fanfic #jamie tartt imagines #everythingtomefic

[princessjojo-x]

TaurusVenus �� ★ ★ ★ ★

💝 taurus is represented by the bull so he doesn’t like being perceived as the delicate type (even though he very much is). others often consider him as reserved, private & mysterious bc he doesn’t expend much energy towards strangers, he’s cautious of new people & he doesn’t like talking just for the sake of it. others are aware his energy & time is valuable which makes him even more enticing.

💝 out of all the venus signs, he’s the least likely to experience love at first sight bc he takes awhile to warm up to new people. he takes his sweet time when forming bonds & he prefers to build rxships steadily. he is definitely a slow burner & he wont change his pace for anybody. he’s slow-moving & hesitant in the process of love due to the intensity of his love & level of devotion he has to offer. it’s so hard for him to let go of those whom he lets in so he needs to be completely certain & guaranteed before letting his guard down.

💝 he can be a little secretive, especially regarding sensitive topics. he doesn’t want others to know much abt him but he will open up in comfortable & stable atmospheres. if he does show his his vulnerable side to you & you turn out to betray him, it will hold a lot of weight & he will struggle to recover.

💝 amongst all the venus signs he has the easiest love life bc he’s very wise in regards to rxships even if he’s never been in one before. he doesn’t mind waiting for a good & dependable partner to enter his life bc he’s very patient. he wont date a woman unless she ticks his boxes & treats him properly. he may like or lust for multiple women throughout his life but he’s likely to only fall in love once.

💝 he is very attractive due to the laidback temperament he projects; his comforting & predictable presence makes others feel at ease & safe.

💝 initially, it may be difficult to distinguish whether he’s into you or not. even if he is attracted to you he might not act on it bc he knows you will come to him one way or another. you know he likes you when he’s being extra warm & fuzzy with you or constantly sharing & offering things with you.

💝 he may seem calm but he has a lot of passions & feelings boiling beneath the surface. once he’s warmed up to you, you’ll see a completely different side to him. he’s sensual, sentimental, devoted, reliable, non judgmental & romantic to those closest to him. his affections are stable, secure & permanent. he’s undoubtedly an honourable lover & friend. he always makes his partner feel seen & appreciated bc of the compassion & care he surrounds her with. he’ll even refrain from arguing with her bc he wont want to spoil the atmosphere. he’ll try his best to ensure she is taken care of emotionally & physically. he wants to see her indulge in sensual pleasures & will happily chip in there too (good food, nice clothes, etc). ensure to show your gratitude & he’ll be loyal to the end.

💝 hes not afraid of commitment & he has traditional expectations regarding rxships. he’ll set strict values & rules for himself; for example, not allowing himself to make prolonged eye contact with other women or not contacting other women without informing his partner. however, some women may view these traits as boring, slow & outdated. during matters of love, his partner will need to give in to him at times bc he won’t readily give in to her. after all, he’s a bull, stubborn asf, to the point of being unmovable.

💝 he’s territorial & protective over his possessions bc he takes good care of them & has a fear of losing them. he can act this way with his food, his space & even his loved ones. he may limit his partners freedom by being possessive & controlling in covert ways. at best, he is protective & territorial over her. at worst, he is obsessive & addicted to her. he will value his partner highly, treating her as a possession & a prized object (trophy wifey). he views his partner as an extension of himself & wants his partner to come under his wing where it’s safe. he’s the type to carry you over a puddle or hold your umbrella.

💝 unfortunately all venus signs have the potential to cheat but it’s definitely unlikely for taurus venus. he wouldn’t want to risk losing the routine & stability of a rxship just for a random affair. however, if he perceives a lack of commitment, physical touch, deeper intimacy or emotional unavailability from his partner, this will make him feel insecure, trigger his fears of abandonment & ultimately be the main culprit to why he’d ever cheat. not to mention, if he has other placements in air or fire elements, it will add a great deal of restlessness, despite the intent of earthy taurus to stay loyal.

💝 since he loves so deeply & has such a fear of change, it takes him awhile to give up on rxships, especially bc he feels his best when in a secure rxship. he may stay in expired rxships & be reluctant to start over bc of his need of security, familiarity & predictably. it’s very difficult for him to let go of anything or anyone that holds meaning & value to him bc it correlates to his purpose of living. he settles for people he has deep attachment with even though he knows there are better options elsewhere. attachment generates an adrenaline within him & he refuses to let go even when it’s being taken away. he is similar to his sister sign scorpio in this sense. but scorpio holds on tight to control & possess. whereas taurus holds on tight to hoard & collect.

💝 however, taurus placements don’t forgive or forget anything. at best, he will punish his partner by withdrawing from her temporarily or permanently. at worst, he’ll be relentlessly stubborn in his pursuit of revenge. his patient & methodical approach ensures a carefully planned retaliation. but it does takes a lot for him to reach this point due to his tolerant & patient nature.

💝 his self esteem is generally steady, he has a realistic opinion of his worth & he doesn’t depend on others to define him. however, in the beginning of his life he likely had difficulty with feeling secure & would’ve often compared himself to mental aesthetics or others looks. but once he has a solid grasp on what makes him valuable, nothing can shake his confidence.

💝 he’s likely a homebody who sleeps & eats a lot since he values routine, stability, comfort & safety. he likely eats the same foods & listen to the same songs due to his reluctance to change. he perceives lounging as a rejuvenating sensory experience (comfy clothes, soft bed, calming candles, tasty snacks).

Turn On’s:

💝 he wants safety, stability & predictability in rxships bc he lacked this during childhood. he wants the security that his partner will stick around & provide. he chooses partners & friends who are self-contained bc that’s what he strives to be. she is able to keep her life grounded & stable materially, emotionally or mentally. she has a solid plan for her life, no matter if it's big or small. she definitely knows the power of planning ahead & taking well calculated actions. for example, she has everything he would ever need, in her purse (especially food). talk to him abt your financial goals & include him in your plan for the future.

💝 he wants his partner to prove to him that she’ll add value to his life. his materialistic tendencies can sometimes overshadow emotional components of a rxship, leading him to value tangible items or status symbols over genuine connections. he loves being surrounded by gifts & luxury. he’s attracted to products of high quality & durability. he loves when people put a lot of thought in when buying/making him gifts. he values sentimental things that you can’t just buy anywhere. he likes to know you really pay attention to their interests compared to just getting something name branded or a gift card. he dislikes cheap & tacky products with clashing colours. he is willing to spend a lot of money on himself.

💝 someone else making him feel more comfortable will be the main culprit for why he may leave you. stability & safety is very important to him so promise him a cozy & comfy time. after all, taurus rules the senses so think abt lighting, candles, aromatherapy, lingerie, etc.

💝 his love language: holding & cuddling one another, just sharing personal space with his partner, cooking meals together, heart-to-heart conversations, being reminded of his worth, being pampered & spoiled, nice scents (perfume)

💝 he prefers to be pursued instead of persuing others. he wants to feel completely adored & desired by his partner everyday. she needs to emphasise her loyalty to him & his worth to her. he has powerful need for tangible expression & presence of affection. she’ll have his heart forever once she’s achieved that.

💝 he loves a sophisticated, respectful & well mannered woman who’s attached a very high value to herself (without being boastful or dramatic). she has a soft but stubborn side to her, she can take control when needed & she has aligning views to him.

💝 in a nutshell, he seeks a partner who is: successful, fancy, generous, affectionate, warm, sensual, passionate, possessive, natural, beautiful, feminine, easy going, understanding, calm, down to earth, predictable, reliable, committed & most importantly consistent.

💝 he is very sensitive & responsive to my physical touch, he will smile & shiver delight. when you rub or run your hands across his body it feels like electricity to him. if you regret his cuddles & kisses bc you’re not in the mood for touch, he will take it personally & he will feel hurt.

💝 to impress him, dress in earth tones (beige & khaki), look expensive as he loves luxury, dress comfortably as taurus is a sensual sign & wear minimal makeup as he likes natural beauty.

Turn Off’s:

💝 he’ll be eager to cut you off if you bring too much drama & trouble into his life; eg if he notices you purposely trying to make him jealous or uncomfortable, if you live a very chaotic & unstable life, if you’re an unpredictable & overly-aggressive person. he’s a venusian after all so craves he peace around him.

💝 he dislikes partners who are immature, fake & frivolous (not having any serious value or purpose).

💝 he feels turned off by anyone who brings any form of change or newness into his life. he won’t like you trying to rush or force him into anything. it’s important to ease him into new things. taurus placements have neophobia (irrational fear for anything unfamiliar). they like things staying the same bc it gives them a sense of peace & stability. he will run away from anyone who challenges this perspective. he wants to stay in his own bubble & will not want anyone to burst it in anyway.

💝 hes threatened by fast-paced & high-energy situations in the context of love including excess displays of emotions & drama when it comes to simple conversations. he may even feel over crowded by too much chatter.

💝 distant parents who try to play games with him rather than growing up & committing (same for all earth venus) including still talking to an ex.

💝 rejecting his offerings, date ideas or any physical touch.

#astro notes #astrology #venus signs #taurus venus

[some-pers0n]

Okay fuck it Sunny disability metaphor time.

Sunny's arc is about her infantilization and being perceived as weak and incapable of greater feats due to her disabilities. Throughout the books, she's seen by others as being a nonthreat and unable to do so much as even lay a talon on another. Even by her closest friends and family, she's seen as somebody to protect. Somebody who cannot fend for themselves and is just a soft, optimistic soul in a cruel world.

Sunny was hatched without a barb and is significantly smaller than other dragons. Despite her still being capable of fire and able to go toe-to-toe with the other DoD members like Clay, she is often perceived as weaker and the "little sister" of the group that everyone needs to protect. They talk over her when planning and oftentimes. They don't consciously do this, they definitely don't mean any harm, but they are convinced that Sunny is powerless and inable to fully contribute to the group in the same way Starflight can with his intelligence or Tsunami with her strength.

Sunny doesn't like this. She's kind and gentle about it, but she is sick of being treated as a little kid. She's almost an adult by the time her book happens. For all of her life, she's been seen as a tiny little ankle-biter. Because of her disabilities, she's often held back and seen as less valuable of an asset to the group. By others outside of the DoD, she's seen as completely harmless (and in Scarlet and Burn's case, a perfect little subject to kill and put on display)

Her book is about her, for the first time, being alone without the DoD by her side. She's able to open her wings and fly freely. It comes after the heartbreak of the prophecy reveal, but she persists. She has hope for a future where she can still end the war.

I think it's why it's important that the first friendly face she saw in TBN was Six-Claws, a character who also has physical abnormalities. Somebody who was just like her in that sense. She's met somebody like her. A dragon hatched with things they had no control over. Despite all of the challenges and hardships he faced, Six-Claws is a well-respected dragon. Somebody who she herself looks up to.

Sunny spends the book struggling with how others perceive her. They think she's weak. Even Thorn, her mother, sees her as helpless and incapable of fending for herself. Though, over the course of the book, she eventually builds herself up in the eyes of those around her as a dragon more than competent enough to handle the situation presented to her.

By the end of the book, she's made her peace. She's told the DoD how she feels and, in turn, they respect her more. She doesn't hold anger towards them– she's not the type of soul to have grudges or be angry– but she is happy that they've changed for the better. She is capable. She should be taken as seriously as any other. She's, well, Sunny. Not some tiny baby to pity.

#If I see one of you people call her an uwu cinnamon roll I'm going for the jugular #sp-rambles #wof #wings of fire #sunny wof #Also pspspspspss I love reblogs on these somewhat longer rambles #It does mean a lot if you can do it :]

[desafinado]

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ confessing to them hcs

i swear i’m stronger than these emotions, but they’re taking over me

°｡⋆ alhaitham, kazuha, kaeya x reader

°｡⋆ fluff, alhaitham a bit ooc bc i haven’t finished sumeru storyline, kaeya’s has a twinge of angst, overall very ouch (in a good way)

note: ahhhh kazuha’s is my favorite one in this batch… and ik alhaitham might be a bit very ooc, but i like the idea of him becoming more shy and moving delicately around your feelings once he notices he has that effect on you.

(diluc, zhongli, kaveh,) | (alhaitham, kazuha, kaeya)

alhaitham ♡

how do you have the courage to jump off a cliff without any wings? that was basically how you summarised the conundrum of talking to alhaitham.

you only really saw him in passing, seeing him pass the corridors, eating in the cafeteria, out in port ormos. 

you never bothered to approach him other than for work, but despite some of the negative rumours about his attitude, your interactions with him were quite pleasant.

“you have my sincerest thanks for your insights. i trust you’ve been well?” “y-yes…” “and, you’re okay, right now…?” “a-ah, yes!”

over time you grew accustomed to his surprisingly amicable disposition towards you, but you could never quite be the first one to approach him.

it was weird, because you could interact with everyone else just fine. you were someone who took initiative amongst your peers, but also handled affairs with a gentle and understanding touch.

anyways, he continued watching out for you. in meetings he’d send a glance your way every now and then as if he was only talking to you, he’d also pass by your office after hours with some tea.

you put it off as him being good at his job, making sure everyone’s functioning and productive. hell, that was what drew you to him in the first place, why you were so scared to strike up a conversation with him.

you admired all his authority, hard work and efforts… i mean his genius was an amazing thing to witness.

so, it only made sense that you'd rather him perceive you as a meek background character than a bumbling flustered idiot.

that all changed, however, when he asked you for insights and advice regarding "emotions" and being a bit more cautious of others’ feelings.

you don't know why he asked you, and frankly you didn't really care. you just wanted to help him the best you could.

"how about this? your ideas are intriguing, but…" "ohh, good so far!" "they could desperately use some fine tuning." "just uh remove the desperately part, and you’ll be set."

to be honest, he doesn't even follow your suggestions half the time, but you being there instantly lightens the mood by 50%.

you saw him in a bit of a different light after then; he was still a genius, of course, but you saw parts of him you’d never expect to see otherwise, and you loved him much more for it. 

you hoped it wasn’t obvious in the way you shared a bit too much about your day with him or how you’d let your hand stay on the small of his back a little longer than necessary.

ironically enough, he was the one who got a bit more shy towards you, though much more present. instead of announcing his presence and letting himself into your office with some tea, you’d find him knocking quietly waiting for your affirmation.

he was acting a bit more soft and gentle, as if he had been defeated and something sent him running.

you were quick to catch up in this attitude change of his, as it was even seeping into his attitude with others (“that man…alhaitham… being soft???”). you knew nobody else was brave enough to ask, so you might as well do it yourself.

once again, a delicate knock played itself against the door to office. you looked up at your paperwork, an amused sigh escaping your lips. “come in, alhaitham.”

you heard some shuffling before the door opened to reveal the man, himself; his eyes weren’t completing darting around, but you definitely notice the way they almost restrained themself from looking at you. he closes the door before sitting before your desk; he sets a cup of tea in front of you.

“for you. i know you’ve been a bit more busy lately, the recent changes in the akademiya surely contributing to that.”

you chuckle softly, earning a raised eyebrow from him. “what’s funny?” his voice was firm and slightly rushed, like he needed you to answer right away. you shake your head and pick up the cup between your palms. “you say that as if you don’t bring me tea every day anyways.”

“i do, don’t i?” he looks down and mumbles faintly, rubbing the back of his neck. his bashful gesture only eggs you on further to ask what exactly is going on with him. you take a quick sip of your tea before probing him.

“so, you gonna tell me what’s been up with you lately?”

“ah, you’ve noticed.”

“of course, i think i’d be a bad friend if i didn’t notice.” you watch his embarrassed smile curve into a childish pout. you know it shouldn’t, but it only makes your cheshire smile grow wider. “by now, you should know you could never be such… anyways, if you’ve noticed the shift, i guess there’s no hiding it.” you put down your cup, bracing yourself for whatever revelation comes next.

“i guess i just wanted to accommodate you better. i know you were quite shy when talking to me initially, and you do seem much more comfortable around me now.”

you hum in acknowledgement, knowing he has a bit more to share. he was always like this, sharing only what he deemed necessary, but you always knew he had more, you just had to give him that space.

“you look better like this, spending more time with me. uh i mean, i like seeing you unafraid of my presence, being curt with me. i…”

he finally meets your eyes, and you’re entranced by that look. your head starts to feel dizzy as you focus on the vision of him to keep you grounded. “oh, alhaitham… you d-don’t need to dance around my feelings, i…” 

his eyes widen, and he quickly grabs your hand; you’re shocked by his touch, but you’re certainly not deterred by it. if anything, it’s only helping you process whatever is going on.

“i don’t want to lose you, dear, isn’t that obvious? i don’t care what those others think, as long as it means that you’re still standing by my side.”

“a-alhaitham, wait i–”

“you love me, correct?”

you freeze up, pondering if this was still reality; if alhaitham had really known and if you were really faced with the task of answering such a question. you suppose you should’ve known, nothing ever really gets past him.

“i didn’t know how to approach it, that’s why i— you already know i’m not best with those sorts of things. all i knew is that i couldn't lose you over it; i didn’t want to upset you, i didn’t want to overwhelm you. i couldn’t bear to watch your adoration turn into hatred and angst, especially when all my flaws became more apparent.”

your free hand caresses his cheek, trying to brush away his fears. “alhaitham… if you knew i loved you, you should’ve also known that i love you just the way you are. knowing you better, i only fell harder, and… if we’re being honest, i don’t think i could ever hate you.”

he looks up at you, the desperation is clear. “neither could i… i mean, i believe my feelings for you are obvious now, so would you like to give it a try? loving me, i mean. ” your eyes crinkle and smile from eye to eye. 

“let me love you, and i shall.”

kazuha ♡

spring was always your favourite season, but kazuha’s presence made it all the better.

hanami: flower viewing, usually done during cherry blossom season.

hanami-zake: sake specifically for hanami; fallen cherry blossom/s are typically immersed in the sake.

you could listen to his mellow voice for days on end, short haikus and poems whispered amidst the pollen in the spring air.

you were friends for the longest time, and after a few cold years in inazuma, you had finally met again without any worries, care for time or need for secrecy.

before he had escaped away, you both hung around the same small group of friends.

one of your favourite memories was participating in hanami with them; perhaps it was the bare beauty of the flowers or the intoxicating hanami-zake, but you both especially enjoyed each other’s company far too much during this period.

tangents about how beautiful life and nature is, ramblings of small yet imaginative ideas you both, and simply basking in what the tomorrow could possibly bring.

this of course changed with the death of your mutual friend, and it seemed like you were the only one standing by and holding out hope for the kazuha. everyone else had left, either too scared, angry or hopeless.

you definitely did feel pity for his situation, but that wasn’t why you didn’t abandon him. 

you trusted him, his will, and his actions, and a big part of you wanted to believe that he would come back a hero to inazuma.

once he caught wind of this, he started exchanging letters with you, appreciative of your trust in him, and frankly, he could use a familiar friend.

while you both addressed the elephant in the room, you mostly talked about your feelings. you shared your sadness, anxieties, grievances, and small moments of happiness.

you could talk to him about anything, as he could; you quickly became a dear friend to him, a reminder that someone had seen all of him and still trusted him.

you didn’t fully understand it at the time, but you so painfully yearned to hold his hand and give him all the affection he deserved.

letters turned to secret meetings in the dock, and secret meetings eventually turned back into normal ones; his name being cleared and inazuma welcoming him with open arms.

the day he came back and you saw the most precious smile you could imagine to see, that was when you fell hard. a few other people got to him first, but you didn’t mind. the view of him getting the praise he deserved was delightful.

“don’t forget about me, now that you’re a great hero…” “i… i could never!”

you were only teasing, but the moment his head turned to find you. he ran towards you and pulled you into the warmest of hugs, even raising you up.

it felt different, different from all the other times at least. it made your heart race, your face flush and your fingers tremble ever so slightly.

it was a few days into your catching up with one another, when you decided to bring up these strange, unnecessary, but almost enjoyable feelings.

“zuha?” 

he hummed in acknowledgement, gazing at the clouds,. your head lay on his lap as you both rested in the middle of a field. there were a few clouds, but the sun still shone bright upon you, the both of you.

“i have some… feelings i need to share.”

he looked back down, raising an eyebrow. you both never really shied away from talking about such in letters, so he was quick to note the uncertainty in your voice. “oh? share away.”

you swallowed a lump in your throat before speaking; it wasn’t as though you were revealing some scandalous secret, so you didn’t understand why your body was acting the way it did.

“i’ve been having some feelings for you recently.”

kazuha almost choked on his own saliva, hearing you be so straightforward. sure, he recognised the ambiguity in your voice, but he certainly did not expect this. he was a bit shy, but did want to express that he returned such feelings. “o-ooh! that-t’s… um…”

“it uh makes me uncomfortable.”

for the second time, the shock is more than apparent in his face. he’s horrified by your admissions and his own actions; he’s frozen in place, sputtering out apologies. “a-ah, i’m sorry! let me just get that and y-you can stand up and-”

“kazuha, wait a minute.” you chuckle, brushing the flower chain off your face and onto the grass below. you lightly take his hands, intertwining his finger in yours; your grip is firm, but not by any means, rough. he quickly realises you’re trying to calm him down, and he lets you do so.

“i didn’t mean it like that. i meant like… its as though i’m running a marathon whenever we hang out. it isn’t negative feeling, but it is a new one.”

you speak slowly, squeezing his hand at every other word. you’ve never seen him this way, a flustered and bumbling mess, but it is quite a cute sight; something you wouldn’t mind seeing again. fortunately for him, you do have enough courtesy to help him calm his heart.

“ah, i see.” his breath evens out, and he lets out a sigh of relief. for a moment there, he really thought you were revealing your annoyance and/or hatred for him. after processing your words, he has a good idea of what’s really going on. he gives you a kind smile and squeezes your hand in response.

“hmm… could you describe it further, darling?”

“ah.”

you let out a small squeak at his nickname; he’s called you it before in letters so you don’t know why you’re being so bashful about it. you feel a blush spread across and wish you simply fade into the wall.

“like right now, actually… i… when y-you call me such things, touch me in certain ways.” his gaze on you only softens as you continue speaking so timidly; on the other hand, you want to turn away, bury your face in the grace, but you want to get your point across. “t-the way you’re looking at me, right now.” your voice comes out a bit quieter, but all the same to kazuha.

“hmm… i think i understand how you’re feeling. just one more thing…”

he asks inches his face closer to yours, lips above yours, as though it was the sun’s light grazing the grass.

“would you perhaps want to kiss me right now, darling?”

you nod a little too excitedly, any self-restraint you had flying out into the sunset. you’ve never really considered it, but the mere mention of the idea seems really good. he lets out another quiet chuckle, you can feel it against your cheek.

“then i think what you’re feeling is love; love for me to be more specific. you need me to give you an example of my love for you?”

kaeya ♡

it all started when you both ended it. you argued day and night about the smallest things; you suppose that the stress from work and transitioning into adulthood had taken its toll on you both.

since then, there was only one thing you both agreed on, and that was how you would be very much better off without each other.

you cried, a lot. it was a mix of sadness and frustration. 

sadness, because you genuinely did love him, you wanted to make him happy. frustration, because you never did make him happy, you knew he’d be better off without you.

if love was the only thing needed to sustain a relationship, maybe you wouldn’t be here, but life got in the way and you both had greater ambitions. under all that fighting, you knew that you just didn’t want to hold each other back.

you knew you couldn’t stay when that pain was so fresh, you needed to clear your head. you moved away for a bit, planning to return in two years time.

and those two years passed by quietly, until you found yourself being welcomed back to monstadt.

only, it seemed your feelings for kaeya had only grown more complicated as you watched him bloom.

he thrived without you, he had grown to be quite a noble captain, charming everyone from children to grandparents. he was someone the whole community could rely on, someone who strived to do good for the welfare of everyone.

because of this, it was pretty hard to miss him. whether it was his name being the subject of tavern gossip or your observant eyes spotting him in the shadows, you just couldn’t avoid him.

you’d scoff, roll your eyes, do anything to show you didn’t care, but it was clear that you cared enough to perk up when you heard his name.

you were so proud of him and the person he’d become. it was safe to say that you remembered why you’d fallen in the first place, that playful smile, moonlight blue eyes, and inviting familiar warmth.

your memory of meeting him was blurred by adrenaline, he had approached you noticing you were awfully quiet among everyone else. he made conversation with you, making you laugh within a minute. you opened up, he did the same. you trusted him as he did you.

right now though, you were falling harder this time around. you intended to deny it though, deny it until it broke you.

today, you were having a busy day, visiting old friends, seeing all the new sights you had missed out on, when you saw him approaching you.

you knew you weren’t equipped to handle whatever it was he had to say; you didn’t need to hear it.

you ran, letting the adrenaline take you far far away, and soon enough you found yourself by the monstadt lake. the wind was blowing as fiercely as your heartbeat.

you tried to squat down to catch your breath, but your tiredness got the best of you and misstepped.

bracing for a cold splash into the lake, you closed your eyes and let gravity take its course; only that coldness came in another form.

“you’re being dramatic, you know that?~”

he chuckled, arms around your waist quite snuggly. sure, you had been fantasising about him holding you like this, but it wasn’t welcomed at the moment. he pulled you back up to some even land before letting you go. you huffed and crossed your arms, not in the mood to deal with his cheekiness. your eyes never met his as you spoke up. “what do you want?”

he feigned hurt, dramatically placing a hand against his forehead. “so cold, dear. not even a thank you, how are you, or hello.”

you were quickly reaching your boiling point, so you decided to step away before things could escalate any further. before you could take another step, however, he gently grabbed your wrist; you looked up at him, eyes wide, and it seemed that he was surprised by his actions as well. his touch was as cold as the last time you met, but this coldness now felt much more like frostbite.

his eyes darted up into your eyes and back down to your wrist before he let you go, flinching away. a faint blush spread across his cheeks, one you certainly could not see under the moonlight. “sorry, i– you dropped this.”

he hastily fished out a key from his pocket; it was your house key. the moment you recognised it, you wanted to fall over in embarrassment; maybe you did deserve to be in the cold waters. he was right after all, and you were being dramatic. you looked down at his palm and hesitantly took it from his hands, as he explained further.

“you dropped it by ms. blanche’s shop.”

“thank you.” your voice was soft, almost inaudible; a stark contrast to your initial hostility. kaeya frowned, watching your timid movements. “do you hate me that much?”

your swiftly looked back up at him, the hurt in his expression was more than clear and genuine, at least from what you could tell. “no. i… i just–”

“after these past couple of years, i was excited to see you again, dear.” his voice falters as he tries to push through his own self-disappointment. “i-i didn’t realise i hurt you that much, that you didn’t want anything to do with me.” he sighs, finding the courage to look into your eyes; he’s a coward in that moment though and his fears and insecurities are eating him up.

you pity him, and you know you’re starting to succumb to defeat.  “you don’t scare me, kaeya. its… its my feelings for you that scare me.”

“is it that strong? you really fear you might hurt me or—”

“it’s not hatred, kaeya.”

that takes him by surprise, and his thoughts start running miles per minute. “sadness? disappointment? frustration? please, i need to know, please.” his voice is almost cracking at this point, eyes glassy. he gently takes your hands in an attempt to plead with you to set him free.

you never were the best at denying him, and you thought you’d set yourself free too.

“it’s love, kaeya, it’s… i still love you, and i’m afraid it’s striking me harder this time. look how far you’ve come without me.” at that fact, you find hot tears running down your cheek. “i’m happy to see you so happy, kaeya. it just hurts that i missed it.”

“i’m not. i’m…” he’s taken aback, but he tries to articulate himself. he takes your cheeks into his palms, gently guiding your gaze to his eyes. “i was lying earlier, you know? saying i was excited to see you was an understatement, dear. i missed you everyday, i wondered if you were doing fine without me,  and seeing you come back, having seemed to forget me i just…”

“kaeya…”

“can we start back just before things went wrong? can you give me… can you give us another chance?”

it’s that same desperate look as his touch softens and he waits for a response. despite your trembling from the rush of emotions, you feel that things can’t be clearer. you acted fast to meet his lips, giving him your decisive response. it was a simple truth that had never left you, even as you left him; you always loved kaeya alberich, and now, you knew he loved you just the same.

requests are open!! please do not reposts on other sites.

#genshin imagines #genshin x reader #kaeya x reader #alhaitham x reader #genshin hcs #genshin impact #genshin fluff #kazuha x reader #gn!reader #airi.writes #airi.hcs

[secretmellowblog]

When I say "Victor Hugo's depiction of Jean Valjean's grief over losing Cosette is a reflection of Hugo's own grief at the death of his daughter" I'm not just theorizing-- some lines from Les Mis are basically just ripped word-for-word from Hugo's poems about the death of his daughter. Here are a few of them. Leopoldine drowned horribly with her husband only a few months after they were married; she was only nineteen. Jean Valjean's paralyzing fear of Cosette's marriage, his misguided useless rage at her husband, and his violent grief over losing her and never being able to see her again, is heavily influenced by Hugo's own grief. I have trouble finding good English translations of some of Hugo’s Leopoldine poems online, and would appreciate better links to English translations if anyone has them. But In A Villequier, one of Hugo's poems addressing God with furious grief over the death of Leopoldine, he writes:

Consider again how I have, since dawn, Worked, fought, thought, walked, struggled, Explaining Nature to Man who knew nothing of it, Lighting everything with your clarity; That, facing hate and anger, I have done my task here below, That I could not expect this wage, That I could not Foresee that you too, on my yielding head, Would let fall heavily your triumphant arm, And that you who saw how little joy I have, Would take my child away so quickly!

Which is almost word for word just Jean Valjean's:

I have left my blood on every stone, on every bramble, on every mile-post, along every wall, I have been gentle, though others have been hard to me, and kind, although others have been malicious, I have become an honest man once more, in spite of everything, I have repented of the evil that I have done and have forgiven the evil that has been done to me, and at the moment when I receive my recompense, at the moment when it is all over, at the moment when I am just touching the goal, at the moment when I have what I desire, it is well, it is good, I have paid, I have earned it, all this is to take flight, all this will vanish, and I shall lose Cosette, and I shall lose my life, my joy, my soul....

And this from the same poem:

I keep seeing that moment in my life when I saw her open her wings and fly off! I will see that instant until I die, the instant, no tears needed! where I cried: the child I had a minute ago— What? I don’t have her any more?

Is a similar sentiment to this angelic description of Cosette “taking flight” away from Jean Valjean:

Cosette, as she took her flight, winged and transfigured, left behind her on the earth her hideous and empty chrysalis, Jean Valjean.

And the moment when Jean Valjean realizes she’s in love with Marius, and has been “lost” to him without him realizing it:

The unprecedented and heart-rending thing about it was that he had fallen without perceiving it. All the light of his life had departed, while he still fancied that he beheld the sun.

This from the poem Demain dès l'aube, where Victor Hugo describes visiting Leopoldine's grave:

I will walk with my eyes fixed on my thoughts, Without seeing anything outside, without hearing any noise, Alone, unknown, back bent, hands crossed, Sad, and the day for me will be like night.

And Jean Valjean walking to Cosette's house, but never able to enter or speak to her:

There [Jean Valjean] walked at a slow pace, with his head strained forward, seeing nothing, hearing nothing, his eye immovably fixed on a point which seemed to be a star to him

This bit where Hugo talks about his faith weakening/cursing God in vain after Leopoldine’s death:

Consider how one doubts, O God! when one suffers, how the eye that weeps too much is blinded, how a being plunged by grief into the blackest pit, seeing you no more, cannot contemplate you.

Is similar to Jean Valjean’s spirtual self weakening and his consience “taking flight” at the idea of losing Cosette:

Any one who had beheld his spiritual self would have been obliged to concede that it weakened at that moment. (...) Grief, when it attains this shape, is a headlong flight of all the forces of the conscience. These are fatal crises. Few among us emerge from them still like ourselves and firm in duty.

Victor Hugo agonizing over his dreams of growing old with his daughter in A Villequier:

You make loneliness return always around all his footsteps.(...) As soon as he owns something, fate takes it away. Nothing is given to him, in his speedy days, for him to make a home and say: Here is my house, my field and my loved ones!

Jean Valjean:

“As one family! No. I belong to no family. I do not belong to yours. I do not belong to any family of men. In houses where people are among themselves, I am superfluous. There are families, but there is nothing of the sort for me. I am an unlucky wretch; I am left outside.

Victor Hugo's poetry in A Villequier again:

in the midst of cares, hardships, miseries, and of the shadow our fate casts over us, how a child appears, a dear sacred head, a small joyful creature, so beautiful one thinks a door to heaven has opened when it arrives; when for sixteen years one has watched this other self grow in loveable grace and sweet reason, when one has realized that this child one loves makes daylight in our soul and in our home,

Jean Valjean:

this man, who had passed through all manner of distresses, who was still all bleeding from the bruises of fate, (...) merely asked of Providence, of man, of the law, of society, of nature, of the world, one thing, that Cosette might love him! That Cosette might continue to love him! That God would not prevent the heart of the child from coming to him, and from remaining with him! Beloved by Cosette, he felt that he was healed, rested, appeased, loaded with benefits, recompensed, crowned. Beloved by Cosette, it was well with him! He asked nothing more! Had any one said to him: “Do you want anything better?” he would have answered: “No.” God might have said to him: “Do you desire heaven?” and he would have replied: “I should lose by it.”

Victor Hugo begging God to talk to his daughter again:

Let me lean over this cold stone and say to my child: Do you feel that I am here? Let me speak to her, bent over her remains, in the evening when all is still, as if, reopening her celestial eyes in her night, this angel could hear me!

Jean Valjean thanking God for letting him speak to Cosette one more time:

The good God says: “‘You fancy that you are about to be abandoned, stupid! No. No, things will not go so. Come, there is a good man yonder who is in need of an angel.’

I think the ending of Les Mis never made complete sense to me until I realized that Jean Valjean isn't grieving like a parent who has watched their child grow up; he is grieving like a parent who has just watched their child die.

#lm 5.9.1 #les mis #les mis letters #i was originally going to make a joke like #men will literally spend 30 years writing les miserables instead of going to therapy #but also reading Hugo's Leopoldine poems even when the translations might be imperfect is just. agh. :_; #and also has radically shifted my entire perspective on the novel and Jean Valjean

[azulyrae]

❛ —— 𝐈 : The Pawn.

his life had been but a recurrent and miserable passing of time; plagued by the constant questioning regarding his value; the nagging behind the point of his meaningless existence and the place he occupied in the reality in which he was inserted. azriel had not lived; rather survived, doomed to loneliness despite the amount of friends he had made. one could not be overjoyed with such a fate; one could not see the point to insist on the stubbornness of life, if one could not share it with a partner.

after five centuries, azriel had felt the bond snap inside his heart; a dagger that tore the flash of the muscle; whose blade twisted and spilled his blood. for once, his agony was but self-inflicted; the pain, a consequence of the emotional absence of [name] archeron, his lightning bolt. azriel had been a lonesome wanderer, grasping to an abstract concept and companion that had finally found him mid-travel. and after quiet ponder and the insistence of his mate’s sisters, the shadowsinger decided to steal her from the tortuous path of self-sacrifice, and led the queen and king of their chess game to quite an experimental and potentially catastrophic game.

the first chapter of onyx sword of sorrow.

check the original post to be aware of the trigger warnings.

azriel/fem!archeron sister. reader with mind control & the ability to shapeshift.

word-count: 10K.

“I long for you; I who usually longs without longing, as though I am unconscious and absorbed in neutrality and apathy, really, utterly long for every bit of you.”

― Franz Kafka, Letters to Milena

The leisure room’s stillness brought the male comfort. His thoughts, once a swirl of revolt, were reduced to mere pondering. The sound of his pacing, incessant during the first half-hour of his arrival, ceased with the time spent in silence. Azriel sat on his most favored elbow-chair: made of charcoal-colored leather; with enough width to accommodate his wings; the one further from the hearth; and had not left since then. The hollow pair of his eyes were fixed on the peeling brown-paint of the walls near the shelves — even if they did not perceive a thing.

When he had reached the familiar space of the House of Wind, Azriel scurried to the least frequented room and enclosed himself inside. By then, the sun held itself with pride in the middle of the day sky, burning and fierce, while a warm whiff entered sporadically through the opened doors of the balcony and the wind swayed the linen curtains. The Shadowsinger poured himself a generous amount of aged scotch with ice and proceeded to lose himself in mute and almost betrayed speculation.

The male didn’t need, nor did he ask, for the eventual reports of his shadows regarding the time passage. Azriel could deduce the lingering of his presence according to the light’s position. Although he had drowned the first dose of whiskey inside a luminous room, by the time his twentieth one doused his sore throat, the full-moon shone, its bright light a rival to the countless stars in Velaris’ night sky.

The House lit the hearth at least three hours prior, and Azriel commanded it to extinguish the flames. It wasn’t the first time, and the Spymaster doubted it’d be the last too, in which he wasted precious periods of his day staring into the meaningless and oppressive void; seconds and minutes and hours converging into a single unity until Azriel could no longer discern, nor notice, their passage. Pale and ethereal, the weak moonrays entered the ambient — that grew more frigid as dusk arrived — and the peeled pattern of the old tint could scarcely be seen in comparison to the daytime’s. But Azriel would’ve been able to point each furniture with precision, or move without hesitation, for he knew every centimeter that constituted the House of Wind’s extension. More than all, the Spymaster could’ve reached a particular point of the leisure room even if he was tied and blinded.

His sight burnt figurative holes in the untouched chess board, still secured inside the store’s package, despite the fact that it had been gifted to her months before, during the Winter Solstice. It rested under a pile of unwrapped presents, each thoroughly thought and given by a member of the Inner Circle. His High-Lady, Mor and Elain had spent weeks trying to convince her to join them for the Winter Solstice, their promises of amusing and private festivities not fazing her in the slightest. So, before their departure, Azriel had told Clotho to leave their gifts somewhere in the library where she would see them, for not a soul managed to learn where she had ventured to. When he returned and found the damned pile, Azriel felt a sudden wave of rage trespass his very being. Because the Spymaster lacked Cassian’s patience, such an offense was not ignored.

Azriel was left both enchanted and wary once his eyes fell upon her figure for the first time. Prythian was close to war against Hybern then, and they were in dire need of allies. In order to contact the Mortal Queens, Feyre had resorted to her sisters, and though she’d granted them an overview of their personalities and shared past, the female was particularly vague regarding the older one. The Spymaster was half-expecting fidgeting and condescending women, quite uninteresting and avoidant. However, she held none of those said characteristics.

With briefness, she had informed Feyre of the occurrences the sister had missed after her return to the Fae Lands. Their father sailed to where she theorized to be the farthest west, and with the man gone, her, the oldest — [Name] — was in charge of their coin, the employees, and their mansion’s maintenance. Feyre once confessed that was it not for one of her sister’s sacrifices, she would never have survived a single winter to wield a bow. The fact alone granted the said woman great respect amongst them all, though her identity was only confirmed when Azriel and his brothers faced that force of nature.

Feyre had advised — rather threatened them — to maintain a certain and specific distance. The three were given no further details, yet, were all glad to adhere to her orders. Still, with her clear avoidance regarding the topic and the deep sorrow in her eyes whenever she covered her older sister’s brief character, Azriel had managed, to a certain extent at least, to connect the pieces of the puzzle. And with what he presumed to be a precise knowledge, the Spymaster expected a strong, yet secluded woman; one who’d offer her home out of consideration for Feyre without engaging with their troubles any further.

How wrong he was.

When the soon-to-be High-Lady informed the three sisters of their need, Nesta’s discontentment came in brisk and sharp words, while Elain remained silent and, in fact, quite nervous over the prospect of a discussion. But all [Name] had asked her sister was whether she’d need anything more. As if offering Feyre her home was no bother; as if she was willing to offer her entire being, if it meant granting the youngest sister a solace of her own.

She led them to the private office upstairs, and Azriel absorbed the small glimpse of her ferocious spirit, overwhelmed by her scent and presence in every centimeter of the room. A shelf took over an entire wall; there were countless maps of the Mortal Lands plastered on a mural, most with colorful arrows traced with either red or blue paint, as if to showcase hot and warm currents; and an enormous table placed on the center, with pages whose scriptures varied from long, handwritten notes to numbers and formulas Azriel himself couldn’t understand, despite the five centuries he’d lived. The chessboard was the last thing he saw. It was placed in a corner, a melancholic sight to a male as himself, who adored the strategies and competition the game’s matches granted him. [Name] had no opponent; no friend she could invite to play against.

The Spymaster had then noticed the clear loneliness of the Archeron sisters. He could still remember Feyre’s haunted and paranoid figure, resorting to self-isolation for she was not taught to accept the offering hand of potential allies. The parallels were absurd as [Name] fished a silver-necklace from her dress’ collar, using the small key hanging from it to open one of the many drawers from the center table. And from the inside, the mortal pulled a detailed plant of the mansion’s entire extension. She was distant, her words were sharp and matter-of-fact. Yet, the older sister was analytical and prone to listen, quick to action and unafraid to voice her opinions. Despite their five centuries of experience, [Name] somehow managed to catch on to a concept or idea the brothers oversaw, and didn’t hesitate to point clear errors on their strategies, nor was she embarrassed to acknowledge possible improvements regarding her schemes. And once Azriel noticed the manner with which Feyre’s eyes shone with pride and admiration; how close they held one another when the female was to return to Velaris; he knew [Name] had, unbeknownst to her, passed some of her coping skills to the younger sister.

During the first reunion with the mortal queens, they were all left with a sour instinct and anticipation. Yet, [Name] was the single one immediately sure of their betrayal, as if, somehow, the female grasped onto aspects of their stances and personalities the others overlooked. It was her certainty that drove Rhysand to order Azriel to return regularly to the Archeron mansion until their next scheduled reunion. While his High-Lord was off to the Summer Court, the Spymaster was inside that same private office, studying more recent mansion-plants that [Name], somehow, convinced the architects to let her borrow, as Nesta watched them like a hawk with an untouched novel in her hands.

As expected, [Name] was indeed detached and blunt; disdainful, even, when annoyed. The surprise of it all, whatsoever, came with the fact that she was also hotheaded. [Name] seemed to him as a powerful fortress. Her words coated in sarcasm, voiced with little forethought or regret; her ruthless honesty and logic. She was not warm, nor was she raised to. Instead, [Name] was reliable. The tree that never bent; the castle built on a mountain rock, impenetrable and magnificent. One would not imagine that under such coldness hid a chaotic thunderstorm. A well-phrased insult and he could almost catch a glimpse of her lightning; an arrogant grin to prove her wrong and he could see a twitch in her plain features. Azriel, surprisingly, noted that he quite enjoyed the act of annoying the oldest and provoking a reaction. Even better, for his own personal and secretive satisfaction, the male also proved to be great at it. 

But once those banters were put aside, one would notice that [Name] wasn’t cruel nor prideful, and whenever Nesta grew tired of their technicalities, with Elain assuming the chaperone’s position instead, Azriel managed to strike less task-driven conversations.

He learned that [Name] first engaged in chess matches at the ripe age of seven, when, bored to no end, she saw their old mansion’s chief of cuisine play by himself. The man taught her well, and what he could not answer, she searched for in books. The mortal was dutiful to her studies, quick-witted and with keen observation skills that, combined to her well-chosen words, left every single one of her father’s late investors at her disposal, regardless of her young age. And when they weren’t lost in provocations and meaningless competitions related to who could come up with the most logical and efficient strategies to the possible outcomes of their encounter with the Mortal Queens, Azriel enjoyed sharing stories of Prythian with [Name], covering the continent’s territories, and listening to her theories. His favorite part of the whole interaction was noticing how the woman’s eyes would shine with anticipation, her imagination running wild at his words. He noticed then, her endless fierceness; how her core shook with thunder and catastrophe. There was more than the simple desire to learn more of the world; there was rage for what she would never see, resentment for her mortal limitations, and grief for the one she could’ve been.

Although he didn’t quite consider her a friend, Azriel wasn’t blind to their similarities either. The eldest of their respective families; the ones assigned to the ugliest, most dutiful aspects of their homes; the paranoid and distant personalities that granted both of them a fearsome first impression. He had no doubt she would’ve made whatever sacrifice, gone whichever length necessary, to free her sisters from related burdens. And — she had once said — if the trail ahead required her to taint her hands red, [Name] would comply, wash them after the process was done, and repeat the cycle for as long as it was needed.

Azriel had spent his almost half-six centuries of miserable existence yearning for a twin-flame; one that would be more pure and moral, empathetic and sweet, less prone to brutal logic and violence. The Spymaster once believed that if Morrigan, the female of pure altruism and resplendent strength, was to bless him with reciprocal love, she would purify the darkness within him; adore him until he learned to see himself through her perspective. Yet, during those comfortable conversations, Azriel couldn’t contradict the inherent truth of the fantastical feeling of being thoroughly understood. Although he remained sick and twisted, a vile creature built on hatred and violence and revenge, the male found that [Name], with her bottled rage and strength; her obstination to understand various concepts; to surround herself in theories and studies and schemes; to gather private informations from possible threats just in case; was a more comforting companion than a pure, immaculate female could ever be.

Azriel had no expectations, whatsoever, to match the mortal’s good heart. He caught a glimpse of her paperwork once, and noted that she was investing part of the re-gained family’s coin in business in less fortunate regions to increase the employment tax. Feyre had also told them that her sister learned not one, but three different languages in a decade, to communicate better with the foreign investors, and to aid the illegal immigrants that worked for their family at the seaport. And though it didn’t seem possible that [Name] could understand and match his struggles, during the quietest moments of dawn, Azriel liked to pretend otherwise.

Duties, however, were a constant call, and the Shadowsinger was assigned to spy on the Mortal Queens, rather than to return to the Archeron’s household. The bitterness on his tongue lingered through it all, both from the unforeseen difficult character of his mission, and from the sudden thought of Cassian visiting the mansion by himself. However, whatever infatuation Azriel labored for her, grew cold during the aftermath of Hybern’s mischievous plan.

[Name] was the first. She was chained, and struggled in her fight as the males threw her inside the Cauldron. The sight of her desperation was overbearing. He had wanted to slash those who held her in half; needed to protect her from the rising waters of her past. His sudden response to her screams was what granted him a week-worth of time spent on a sickbed, for the single movement to reach her had been enough for the poison to spread. Hybern was astute enough to catch on to the female’s importance to her sisters; he knew that, by destroying her fighting spirit, the other three would soon follow. However, the Cauldron expelled her after no more than half a minute, as if whatever happened between their brief encounter, whatever it saw in her, was too disturbing; vile; dangerous. It didn’t wait for Hybern’s soldiers to grab the borders and turn it, throwing the female on the ground in the process. 

No, the Cauldron moved on its own, the pitch-black water stinking of surprise and desperation when the artifice fell and the female arose, reborn. Hybern himself had been shocked and afraid. For the months that ensued, Azriel wondered if his poisoned mind had deceived his sight, for he had met the sister’s eyes then, and stared into the thin pupils of a dragon; he wondered whether the poison was to blame for the devastating tug on his heart, the brief light that sliced through the darkness of his core and shook his very being with its power.

However, when he next saw her, [Name] was a High-Fae — taller, her movements more fluid, and a stance that was both terrifying and compelling. Yet, it was the sheer strength and promise of violence that undid him. The eyes that met his own were determined and hostile, challenging and commanding, as if [Name] noted her enforced physique and decided not to hesitate if the time urged her to use them. She was desirable and breath-taking as a mortal, with hypnotizing complexions, too; a woman aware of her attributes and influence and unafraid to use them as she saw fit. But being a High-Fae made her more lethal, a fantastic and splendid female granted with the means necessary to pursue her goals, to back up the violence hidden under the sarcastic retorts.

Azriel’s knees nearly buckled. He wasted precious centuries pitying himself, for he had been assigned the burden of aggression. His hands were scarred and eternally tainted with blood, vile things that were the living proof of his fate. However, [Name] embraced the future the Mother drew; she’d be the serpent and the bite and the venom; she’d be the tortuous pain that preceded death. And if that meant protecting herself and those she cared for, the guilt would be non-existent. Nothing but twenty-five, and the female made peace with the demons that had been plaguing him for five centuries. 

She had a pile of books clutched against her chest, and maps that depicted what seemed to be the detailed territory of every Court and Faerie Realm of Prythian, rolled up and secured between her biceps and forearm. His shadows began to hum a soft and low ballad, dancing around their bodies. The Spymaster waited for [Name] to recoil, yet, she stared at the dark-tendrils of smoke with slight curiosity and the gleam of something else. Her eyes moved between his shadows, in a manner he learned to be those of her scheming. The hall in which the Spymaster stumbled upon [Name]’s renewed powerful figure seemed to diminish as he, enchanted, stepped closer. However, the curiosity that pooled in her eyes a second prior turned into hard-steel, a sense of despise and deception covering the grateful stare. Azriel noted the silver-blue color of the dragon’s eyes; the thin pupils of a violent storm retributing his entranced glance. His steps ceased; his shadows recoiled; and Azriel managed, a tad too late, to mask the hurt from his features.

The male wasn’t sure of what he had done wrong. Nevertheless, despite his initial surprise, and after a more attentive glance, he managed to find the hidden signs under the fearsome veil of those hard-expressions and astute irises. [Name] was in a disheveled state, with purple bags under the tired eyes and a mark between her eyebrows, of what he presumed to be left by constant worry. Azriel found himself wordless, sent into a foreign state of near-fidgeting. Ever since he’d left the burdens of a green-boy behind, Azriel had ceased to be nervous around females. He was desirable, confident, and managed to seduce them just fine, with no need for a repertoire filled with poems and romance quotes. But with [Name], it was as though the green-boy had returned, now laughing at his matured silence and nervousness. He yearned for the previous camaraderie, but had no clue of which phrases to use in order to reach it.

His hesitation wasn’t well-received. The female’s grip on her books grew tighter, and a sudden, powerful scent filled the air as she said: “If there’s nothing you wish to tell me, clear the way.”

He remained glued into place. Even if the Spymaster attempted to move left and grant her a free passage, his body had turned into nothing but a wayward bag of aching bones. For Azriel had words unsaid, his muscles were stiff and unnatural. He closed his fists in frustration, aware that his eyes were a pool of hatred. Not even his shadows ought to move, paralyzed in the scarce space between him and the female.

“You’re looking like crap,” he lied, for [Name] hadn’t demanded him to be true in his statement, only to speak up.

[Name] didn’t flinch nor showcased hurt, as if she’d found the real aspect of his thoughts somewhere within his cloaked expression. He wouldn’t confess his desire to hold what he presumed to be quite a heavy pile of books; to help her find whatever information she was searching for; to offer the distraction of a long and well-pondered chess match. Yet, her eyes flickered with acceptance and sorrow, the fate of a self-imposed loneliness one thought to be worthy of.

“I don’t need your help,” [Name] said. Grasping onto the late thoughts of lending an aiding hand seemed as though trying to capture water with a closed fist. Whenever the male found himself close enough to the instinctive wish to help, it slipped through his fingers as a volatile liquid. Despite his best efforts, Azriel caught himself fighting against the sudden lack of free-will, for, once again, nor his mind or body were his own. “You won’t offer to help me, either. I’m perfectly capable of managing on my own.”

“Of course you are,” he agreed in a haze, his words sounding slurred and disconnected.

The Spymaster hated himself for being susceptible to that treacherous manipulation; hated her for wielding it, too, and displaying all but a small remorse in the process of stealing his freedom. He connected the lines then; from the venomous scent of power to the abrupt fear of the Cauldron when it had expelled her. A hypnotizing voice, one that managed to control even his intangible companions. He wondered where the limitations of such power were placed, while fearing there were none. The previous concern related to whether or not he should propose to carry her books seemed small and meaningless in comparison to the inescapable authority he was trapped under. He, instead, began to fear for his entire Court, for there was nothing besides, perhaps, her sisters, capable of stopping [Name] from stealing Velaris from under their noses.

“I have no intentions to cause harm,” she said, waving his worries as though they were a nagging fruit-fly. Opposite from the female’s previous statements, this one didn’t feel as a demand of her part. The well-justified suspicions remained rooted in his mind, instead of slipping through his consciousness before he could even process the thought. 

However, what scared him the most was the fact that [Name]’s mental-powers surpassed those of a daemati. The Shadowsinger never once left his mind-barrier unattended; it had been a wall of revested, pitch-black steel, ever since he learned of the existence of those able to read his thoughts. He was sure they were intact, and yet, she slipped inside as if it meant nothing.

“Meaning you draw the line at generalized battles, but find it acceptable to read one’s mind without their verbal permission,” Azriel retorted. The male crossed his arms against his chest, the anger overpowering the modest shine that accompanied the beating of his heart. The Spymaster looked down on her, resorting to the glance he used to terrify his opponents and prisoners. He had noticed a tad too late that his stance mirrored his father’s, and both disgust and regret enclosed his once arrogant and spiteful stance.

But rather than recoiling, [Name] raised her chin, the eyes of the dragon returning with a barely-contained rage that matched his own. “I was thrown inside a Cauldron without granting them permission to do so; I was Made and kept hostage inside a Fae-house I’m not allowed to leave. My youngest sister is gone, and I wield powers that are directly connected to emotions I’ve spent my entire life repressing. I can’t control whose minds I can read. This place is cacophony of thoughts and fears, and I would’ve given the entirety of my lost riches to be mortal again; to not hear the suicidal and terrified intents of my sisters.”

Azriel felt a sense of shame creeping up his spine. Even if his anger of her commands for him to remain distant, and ignoring his every nerve rebelling against doing so, had lingered, the Spymaster found quite a soft-spot upon hearing her point of view. She seemed pained and confused, a lashing animal that adorned herself with claws and fangs, scales and poison, because she failed to envision a different perspective. The sudden reminder of Feyre’s tendency to self-isolate and self-sacrifice, and from who she’d taken said characteristics, went as a brisk breeze, refreshing his consciousness for too little: since the acknowledgement of [Name]’s pain meant he’d want nothing but to reach for her and help, and the female had denied him that right.

He had never resented her more, doubted he ever would. The pressure, placed upon his jaw because of the effort to struggle against those commands, was quick to bring an ache. The Spymaster had no doubt that soon, the too quiet hall would be filled with the sound of the crack of his bones.

“I can manage by myself, I don’t need nobody,” she repeated, the slight mark reappearing between her eyebrows as her expression shifted into one of obstinate confusion. 

Despite the order, Azriel’s insistence prevailed; his words were near to spill, that fucking, stupid offering to carry her books, but the scent of her hypnotizing power managed to inebriate his senses at last. 

“I. Don’t. Need. Nobody. It’s my tragedy alone to endure.”

The resistance must’ve faded from his features, for the female’s eyes returned to their normal appearance, and she passed through him. Their shoulders touched — Azriel’s bare muscles brushing against her clothed skin — and a terrible shiver went through her. The female gritted her teeth, searching for that armor of nonchalance and uninterest. 

“I don’t need nobody,” she said, his back facing her own. “But Elain does. She’s lost, and I’m sure you owe me no favors, but my sister treated you well during our scheming afternoons, and isn’t the one to blame for my character.” 

He hadn’t felt compelled to reach for Elain, enough an indicator that [Name] was but giving him the right to choose for himself whether he wished — or not — to keep an eye on said sister. As it seemed, [Name] didn’t care to wield her voice if the consequences fell upon her shoulders alone, but refused to drag others into her labyrinth of thunderous hatred. Azriel didn’t answer, and his shadows were in a mingled commotion of confusion as their desire to check on the female was countered by her own command to be left alone.

Rhysand had then approached from where he, for sure, observed their interaction. The male was quite conflicted, noticing the rebellious instinct Azriel couldn’t conceive. Instead of flying to the balcony, to then winnow to the River House, they decided it was less bothersome to dialogue inside the nearest, more private room of the House of Wind: that being the leisure room. His brother updated him of the most recent occurrences — those he’d lost during the week under an induced sleep — and Azriel himself was left puzzled at the end of Rhys’ report.

[Name]’s commanding powers bloomed after Feyre’s departure to the Spring Court. Upon failing to find the youngest sister, she invaded the private reunion of the Inner Circle — Rhysand, Morrigan and Amren, the three conscious at the time — and demanded to be informed of Feyre’s position, leaving them all aghast with their willingness to answer. Azriel observed, through the mental glimpses Rhys offered, the internal fight of his brother’s brain, and how she had, too, crushed his desire to uphold that particular information. A High-Fae whose mind was closed to the daemati, wielding a tongue that could put even a High-Lord to his knees. She suddenly was a threat twice as dangerous and unapologetic, willing to use her power whenever underestimated, and Azriel’s wariness increased with the fact.

However, [Name] hadn’t needed to repeat her orders until then. Her powers had been enough to intoxicate the minds of two of the most powerful Fae alive, and an ancient creature, at the same time. With that in mind, both were left to wonder why Azriel, out of all people, showed such resilience against her commands, and though the possible answer seemed obvious, the Spymaster refused to nurture such hope, especially since he wasn’t sure where his trust was placed with the Archeron sister. 

Azriel maintained his distance. He, indeed, began to check on Elain. At first, the male did it as both a taunt and a peace offering. Yet, despite his efforts to grasp [Name]’s attention, she had enclosed herself inside the House of Wind’s library, the books she borrowed being supervised by Clotho. And with all honesty, Elain was rather a comforting companion, her silence matching his own. The female indeed was in need of someone; someone who had no expectations, nor judged her mad for her incoherent mumbling. She grew to be a friend, one that had catched on Azriel’s ragged breath when he laid his eyes on [Name] for the first time in days; who had then begun to state the burdens of her sister and how, although used to loneliness and with her heart buried deep within, she was desperate to see the day where her duties would no longer be overpowering, while also terrified with the idea of leisure. Azriel understood her better then, and was given the confirmation of their similarities once again. Yet, that meant nothing, for the female continued to avoid them all. 

Her situation improved in the slightest when Feyre returned, and their shared conversation later-on influenced his High-Lady to encourage [Name] to accept Morrigan’s help. The females spent the next months vanishing during most mornings, whereas [Name] was nowhere to be seen later on, deciding to spend the remnants of her day lost within her studies inside the library.

Morrigan, who was Azriel’s loyal friend — and once, the biggest love he knew — understood his anguish. And though she seemed to empathize with [Name]’s motivations as well, the female made sure to keep him attuned on both [Name]’s physical and mental evolution. She kept most things to herself, of course. And considering the amount of time the two spent together, it was half-expected for [Name] to be a modest swordswoman; though she did improve, it became clear that they were discussing other things, too.

When the War was declared, [Name] abandoned her months of quiet isolation in the library or private training sessions with Mor to help them strategize and scheme. Azriel glimpsed the storm underneath the long period of sorrow and concern; fell victim to the same banters and competition and even went as far as to share a deep and meaningful conversation outside the Archeron’s sisters tent. At the time, Elain had just been rescued, and although the three of them slept inside, [Name] refused to do the same, choosing to guard them instead.

Azriel’s tongue felt heavy and useless on the morrow, when he attempted, once again, to offer his help. The male thought of a dozen synonyms and different speech forms to bypass her command, but they were all in vain. And even if she learned to control the mind-reading aspect of her powers, Azriel’s efforts must’ve been crystal clear, for she rose from the ground, her steps crushing the autumn dried leaves, and repeated: “I don’t need nobody.”

He grew tired and revolted then. It was easier to obey her desires when one had given up on contourning them. The last battle came, and Azriel’s mind was set, for he refused to keep walking around those walls’ borders, to venture on the female’s stubborn need to retract herself and put on a veil of feigned detachment. The Spymaster would no longer care, no longer offer help. And it was only when the dragon emerged from the battlefield — dark scales with blue and silver undertones — that he’d noticed those weren’t his desires, but the consequences of her command inside his mind. Though he was once resolute, a second later, the male wished for nothing but to claim the skies with the magnificent flying serpent. Considering the quickness with which his mind changed, Azriel grew both scared and amazed at the extension of her will. It was the first time he’d experienced what Rhysand and the others must’ve felt during her first morning at the House of Wind; the first confirmation that her imposition worked differently on him, as if he was made to pass through the venom curtain and sit close to the female behind it, granting her the companionship she didn’t deem herself worthy of.

At the time, the sight of the dragon was magnificent: the shadow of a flying serpent, covering the sunlight; the strong scent of ozone that hang in the air as the creature flew to the open sea, where Hybern’s fleet was seen in the horizon; the open jaw — one the size of a grown Illyrian warrior — that breathed not fire, but lightning. [Name]’s rage had resulted in the screams of a thousand soldiers, their pained cacophony reverberating as the water — the best conduit for electricity, he’d soon learn — helped murder whoever intended to plunge against them through the sea. Yet, the sight of the Fae’s eyes after such occurrences wasn’t at all welcoming. She was broken; shallow; tired. Even if he could still catch a glimpse of the brilliant and breath-taking dark scales under the common flesh, there was something amiss. Not guilt, but perchance, a sense of adamant worry and disorientation, as though she had no idea what to do next.

Azriel waited until the Inner Circle returned to Velaris. The Archeron sisters were granted the offer to find a home of their choosing, and although Elain agreed to live with Feyre, Nesta found herself a decrepit apartment in one of the poorest districts, while [Name] had insisted on staying in the House of Wind. It made sense. Between the three Made females, [Name] was the one that did not need to face the ten thousand steps whenever she wished to leave; she could shift into whatever winged-animal she saw fit, and fly to whichever path she meant to take. Although Morrigan and Feyre were quite harsh with both him and Cassian, warning of the consequences were they to invade her personal space, Azriel was glad — and hopeful, even — that she decided to linger for more than just the desire to resume her constant visits to the library, or the wish to part ways from her sisters. The future was promising without the war and the perspective of peace, and he’d have enough space to return to that old camaraderie. 

Or so he thought.

The female gave him a single glance and repeated those four fucking words. Their first dialogue was built on sarcasm and bad manners, both mistrusting one another and wishing to test their motivations and boundaries. Of course the bond would sing the loudest then. Not when the dragon emerged or when [Name] was Made; not during their heartfelt conversation outside the tent; but when he was mad with anger at her obstination, wishing to grab her shoulders and shake her to her senses. Still, a malicious sense of victory, one his entire family would disapprove of, glowed with the unprecedented truth. [Name] enjoyed being several steps ahead but could not have predicted their mating bond in a thousand years. She wasn’t aware that with the unilateral snap, her commanding powers lost considerable strength against his mind. 

So, when [Name] said she didn’t need his help, Azriel had answered: “Of course you don’t.”

Ever since then, in between the not-at-all accidental stumbles on different routes of the House, he made sure to pretend. Pretend to be at her words’ mercy; pretend to be affected by her commands. All in the while decreasing their late distance with poisonous phrases and acts of his own, that [Name] was quick to retort. However, he didn’t expect her latest one to be so vile and spiteful; never would’ve thought his mate would be so cruel.

Nuala and Cerridwen’s report was but a kneaded ball of paper, falling victim to the Shadowsinger’s unmatched anger. He stared at the pile of unwrapped gifts. Feyre had given her older and most admired sister a personalized chess board: the pieces had the texture of a dragon’s scale, and each group-piece was represented by a thoroughly designed flying serpent; the board was made of enhanced glass, and the structure underneath was a pitch-black pattern of the lightning of a violent storm crashing against the stones of a dozen mountains. Rhysand chose a long leather coat, its shoulder pads with silvery-blue spikes as those she had on her dragon back. Elain gave her a beautiful vase of colorful dragon-flowers, one he knew [Name] began tending to. Amren picked a silver necklace, the pendant with — according to her words — a blue kyanite, the rough stone carved as if to resemble a dragon head. Cassian bought three books, one being his most favored about battle strategies, and the other two — personal recommendations from Clotho, who said she was searching for the subject, and couldn’t find nothing close to it in the library — of The Story of Prythian’s Currency: Volume I & II. Whereas Morrigan was more subtle. The female said she’d give a gift related to her past experiences, one it wasn’t made to be seen by their curious eyes.

Each of the previous gifts stood in the unwrapped pile, but Azriel’s was nowhere to be seen.

He spent months trying to come up with something. It’d be the first Winter Solstice with his mate; the first gift he’d give her. Since his memories were no longer lost in a haze, the male was brought back to their first true conversations months prior. [Name] told him she had learned how to properly wield daggers and throwing knives, for someone had taught her, and she trained tirelessly ever since. Morrigan complimented that aspect, too, commenting that [Name] had quick-feet, with an agility that was made for close combat. So Azriel gave his mate two sai daggers. The butt-end was of dragons’ heads, designed in a way as not to hinder her moments; the grip was made of cool and weightless leather, with an undertone of dark blue, and one silver-colored bolt of lightning on both sides of the material; there was a stone in the middle of the wing-base — the shade, the same blue of his Siphons — and the steel from both the wing-base and wings had the pattern of scales. The shaft had a thin scripture written in the runic-language of Ancient-Fae — a courtesy of Amren, who, he was sure, felt the bond between them — that said: “The bolt that cuts through darkness, the light that breaks the night.”

Azriel placed an order to the smith for a set of throwing knives too, and this time, instead of choosing a dragon, Azriel went for two swallows taking flight and staring at one another, placed at each side of the guard. However, he prided himself more in the pair of personalized sai daggers. The Spymaster knew the Inner Circle would pick the dragon alone, for they didn’t know that at each dawn, [Name] shifted into a white and blue swallow, small and silent, and ventured through the night skies, returning on the morrow under the same form. What better metaphor for such a fast, small animal, if not throwing daggers? Regardless, he found her choice odd. Why would one prefer to be a swallow, instead of an eagle, or even a dragon? He came to the conclusion that perhaps [Name] and her unspeakable past did not wish to be perceived; after a lifetime of being placed on top of a pedestal, attracting both admiration and lust from those who stared from underneath, it seemed as though she was glad to be a merely invisible bird, rather than a devastating creature. He respected that, but nevertheless, [Name] didn’t seem to have enjoyed the gift.

When Azriel searched for the sai daggers and knives, he wasn’t sure what would’ve hurt more. The prospect of finding them yet wrapped, or in the same state as the rest of those on the pile. He never once thought they wouldn’t be there at all. The Spymaster left clear and severe orders to his shadows, and despite his companions’ wishes, they weren’t allowed to search the House of Wind — especially [Name]’s room — for the gift. Hope was an unreliable feeling, and nurturing it was a direct step into disappointment. Rage and resentment, however, came easier. Azriel was sure that his shadows had disobeyed him, and were desperate to share their information. Yet, he didn’t welcome it. Instead, the male fell straight into the rabbit hole of his duties, making it all the easier to ignore his mate. Summarizing it all, said decision was what brought him to that current dismal state, and guided him to the emptiness of the leisure room. 

Not two weeks had passed since the Winter Solstice, and Azriel was already assigned to infiltrate Montesere’s barriers. Considering the land’s history of allegiance with Hybern, and the infertile political situation between the Courts after the Wall between Fae and Mortal Lands fell, his brother and High-Lady’s concern regarding Montesere’s silence was well-based. At first, the Shadowsinger thought it’d be an effortless task. Yet, during his first attempt, he was met with a barrier that countered each and every power he had at his disposal.

The male had faced such a bothersome obstacle before. The Mortal Queens once wielded a similar protection; one that had avoided his net of spies and his own shadows for months. Azriel still remembered the consequences of his failure; the fatal mission that had him laying on the floor with poison in his veins; that left Cassian with ruined wings and pain written all over his near-unconscious expressions; the yet-human Archeron sisters being thrown, one by one, inside the Cauldron. The fatality that led [Name] to her current state, one he failed to foresee and prevent.

There was a small knock on the ebony door. A crevice — all but large enough for the head of a winged-Illyrian warrior to pass through — presented Azriel with the sight of his brother, his ever-present grin appearing as soon as he laid eyes on the Spymaster at the elbow-chair. Azriel’s previous thoughts were put on hold, his surprise apparent, and his shadows moved around him, their whispered words sounding hurt and worried: “We warned you, we warned you.” But the male, once again, didn’t hear a single thing.

Those occurrences weren’t rare, nor something he was unfamiliar with. Azriel found himself frequently tangled within them, as if his thoughts were a labyrinth with deviant entrances and constant, creative traps, he never seemed to dodge. The worries and self-loathing gave way to a frozen and profound lake; the water was corrupted, viscous, carrying a darkness Azriel himself wasn’t used to. Avoiding those traps felt as though walking with heavy boots on the thin ice that covered such a lake. He was bound to fail — to fall, — and once Azriel was captured by it, he scarcely attempted to swim, to leave; no light could reach him there, no sound or positiveness, it was a place not even his shadows dared to enter. The Spymaster wasted hours inside it, and only managed to leave it once an external presence pulled him from the putrid waters of his thoughts.

As Cassian had done, entering the leisure room and choosing the elbow-chair in front of his own. His brother glimpsed at the near-to-be empty scotch bottle, an eyebrow raising in the process. The male seemed to believe Azriel had more than enough, for he grabbed it from the center-table and gave it a gulp directly from the bottleneck.

“Are you kidding me?” The Spymaster complained, his voice a mixture of both frustration and anger towards his brother. Azriel wouldn’t dare to pour himself more after that, finding it unhygienic; all in the while, Cassian was quite aware of his brother’s antics, and drank it on purpose.

“Don’t be all selfish, Az,” the male mocked him, drinking another mouthful of the scotch. Azriel rolled his eyes, placing his empty cup on the center-table with unnecessary strength. “You’re done for the night, at least.”

“I’m not even drunk,” he argued. Cassian — the bastard — shrugged.

“That’s because you have a high alcohol tolerance,” his brother’s eyes narrowed. He placed the bottle on the ground, near his feet, and sat with a straightened back. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Azriel, in fact, didn’t. His scarred left hand clutched the kneaded report, the sound of paper ringing through his ears. That stupid piece of scribbling what was led him to that position in the first place. The Spymaster flew to the house his High-Lord and Lady shared, filled with a modest amount of shame. The twins had been surveilling Montesere’s magical barriers for almost an entire month, searching for a pattern, hoping to catch on to an immigrant or some poor other bastard attempting to leave. Azriel held that strategy to no hope, aware of the fact that it was doomed to failure. Yet, facing the predicted truth gave him a sour tongue.

Once he told the dreaded information, a reunion was summoned. However, with Cassian at Windhaven and Morrigan returning from Valahan, Azriel had a few hours ahead of him to wait for the reminiscent members of the Inner Circle, and decided to accompany Elain in the kitchen. The female, for sure, must’ve been feeling quite lonely since the twins’ departure to Montesere, and Azriel didn’t mind talking to her either. Elain, after all, was a terrific and attentive friend, with observant eyes and the willingness to listen. The Spymaster thought her thoroughly underestimated during most times, and made sure to let her know that he was, too, willing to train her if she ever thought needed.

Although he expected not much from the conversation at hand, Elain had trapped him a few minutes in. At first, the female repeated the familiar questions he’d been mostly glad to answer. However, at some point, Elain moved to place the trail of dough inside the oven, and her voice had reverberated from where she knelt.

“How is she?”

Azriel knew who she was referring to. Considering the male’s seen proximity with the oldest Archeron sister, and the fact that she barely left the House of Wind, Elain had but few choices besides the one to ask for his words regarding her sister’s state. During the past months, however, Azriel made sure to avoid [Name], and had no answer besides the honest truth no one wished to hear: she remained the same. 

The entire Inner Circle grew worried. During the first stages of the War, [Name] spent hours inside the library, hovering over a pile of books, studying every subject regarding Prythian’s history and territory; memorizing each drawn line of the borders; trying to predict their enemies’ movements, and coming up with retaliations to those, too. She also had a peaceful relationship with the priestesses, and after [Name]’s self-isolation, Clotho was instructed by both Feyre and Rhys to send a weekly report regarding the female’s behavior. It wasn’t ideal, but his High-Lady’s heart rest assured that her sister was, at least, within physical reach.

Those weekly-informations were scarcely enough. [Name]’s dragon form, and how she had saved them all to some extent during the last battle, couldn’t be forgotten nor ignored. Of course, the female’s acts to protect her sisters during poverty — and before that, even — weren’t overlooked by Rhysand, either. His brother had the bigger sense of gratitude between them all, and weren’t for Feyre and Elain, Azriel would state that he was the most eager to help [Name] somehow.

Despite Azriel’s attempt to change the subject, stating that he hasn’t been to the House much and that Cassian was a much better option to inform her, the female didn’t allow him to run. Elain insisted that [Name]’s self-isolation tendencies came from the fact that she, after the War, had no perspective. The female was taught to be of use to her sisters; to provide for them, no matter the cost; to be the anchor in which the three youngest ones could rely on during hardships. However, Velaris had changed that need for the better. And Elain was sure that, despite the fact that [Name] was glad the younger pair found solace and comfort and didn’t need her to sacrifice herself any longer, she was also lost and alone. Without her duties and the position of command that she was placed on at a very young age, [Name] was left to deal with the memories and consequences of her life’s decisions all by herself.

Azriel had lost it then. He’d been attempting to reach for his mate for months, and all she did in response was demand him to leave her alone, going as far as to use her hypnotizing voice to achieve such an end. And once he voiced his discontentment and the fact that self-isolation was [Name]’s choice, their first discussion ensued. Elain, shockingly, had snapped at him. Though she remained quiet on behalf of [Name]’s past, the female’s words were forceful and precise. She covered her sister’s relationship with both their parents and how she chose to be there for the three of them, while denying them to do the same for her; Elain pointed most of [Name]’s personality, and during it all, Azriel’s retorts grew short, since the male was again reminded of how much he related to his mate in levels he dared not confess. 

His silence wasn’t wasted either. Elain argued that [Name] needed to be of use, to feel that she was protecting her sisters somehow, in order to accept her healing process. Azriel feared that the female found out their mating bond then, but no sooner that doubt was discarded and he regained his calmness, Elain’s next phrase threw that out the window. 

“You should train [Name] to be a spy and assign her to Montesere.”

Azriel’s mind went blank. His rage was nearly blinding. He didn’t care how Elain had learned of his struggles regarding Montesere’s barriers, for all he saw was [Name] — his mate — under a complicated position, thrown into a territory they had no intel of, somewhere no one could reach.

“No.”

He refused to wear a more active and demanding voice with the members of his family. Azriel hated the possible wariness it could cause, for the sound of itself was enough to make their prisoners wet themselves in terror. But Elain didn’t falter. She gritted her teeth, meeting his gaze, her eyes a shade of silver, and continued to defend her sister.

“[Name] speaks four languages and is learning the Ancient Fae speech by herself. She has a commanding voice that worked in a room filled with High-Lords, can shift into different mortal-shells, a lightning dragon and smaller animals and beasts, too. She’s smart, light on her steps, and has enough physical training to face stronger opponents,” Elain closed her eyes for a second, as if trying to avoid the memory of a particular vision. 

Azriel was reminded of the Seer’s words when she still lived in the House of Wind, staring at the window with no emotion plastered on her face: ‘The scaled-beast of myths that flies through the airway, destined to rescue those lost in dismay. The bolt that cuts through the darkness, the light that breaks the night.’

“All she needs,” continued Elain, the familiar brown back into her eyes, “is guidance.”

Because [Name] was meant for so much more, was so much more, than the astute, self-sacrificing and scarred oldest sister. Because regardless of Azriel’s unwillingness to train her, his mate’s destiny was calling to her; growing closer to her calves with each passing day. And with, or without the Spymaster’s interference, she’d have to face it.

Azriel sighed, the prospect of it all bringing a sudden headache that made him crease his forehead. “I’ll ask Rhys—”

“Rhys agrees,” his brother said, entering the kitchen. Azriel turned, half-betrayed by his shadows, who didn’t warn him of his arrival, and half-shocked with himself, for it had been a long time since he’d been so invested in an argument, he failed to hear a third person’s approach. “Do you agree, Feyre darling?”

His High-Lady entered the kitchen, striving for Elain’s freshly-baked biscuits. She shared a knowing, yet proud, look with her sister, and hummed her approval, giving Azriel an apologetic smile. Cassian, Amren and Mor entered soon after, and the Spymaster learned that their argument was, in fact, heard by all of them. Nevertheless, once the [Name] topic was cleared, the reunion began. After it was clear their kitchen wasn’t big nor comfortable to accommodate the entire family, they all moved to the living-room — Rhys didn’t want his office to be filled with biscuit’s crumbs — and covered other worrying subjects, such as the Mortal Queens’ sudden silence; Mor’s first week at Valaham; Lucien’s eventual reports about Jurian and Vassa; Nesta’s condition, and the twins’ report. Azriel was but a shell of himself during it all, his mind drifting to Montesere and [Name]’s training, the inevitable destiny that awaited.

Once the gathering was over, Azriel barely bid his goodbyes before winnowing the closest he could to the House of Wind. Rhys’ voice entered his mind as soon as he landed, his question the same as the one Cassian had made: “Do you want to talk about it?”

His brother would understand the dilemma the best. Rhysand had stayed an entire month without news regarding Feyre’s well-being when the female acted as a spy inside the Spring Court. Azriel wished to ask him how he had managed it; how could it be possible, or at least bearable, to wait in Velaris as his mate was risking her life somewhere he couldn’t reach. But their situation was different. Rhysand could’ve winnowed to the Spring Court to assist Feyre if the female was in need; Azriel had his wrists tied against one another, aware that if [Name] managed to enter Montesere’s barriers, he’d have no news, no way of learning whether she was safe.

So, he gave Cassian the same answer he gave Rhysand: “I’m fine, there’s no need to worry.”

And as the latter, Cass respected the boundary drawn between them, didn’t question any further. Instead, he stared with curiosity as Azriel rose from the elbow-chair.

“Where are you going?”

“To give [Name] the great news.”

“It’s four in the morning.”

“She’s awake.”

Azriel didn’t care enough to continue that game of pretense, one where he didn’t voice his certainties regarding the female’s state in order to maintain their mate bond in utter secrecy. Considering Cassian’s lack of reaction — besides the clear amusement — the Spymaster was sure most of the Inner Circle’s members already had their suspicions.

“Good luck!” Cassian taunted as Azriel left the leisure room. The male’s hands grew sweaty with anticipation, and he rubbed them against the cloth of his trousers.

[Name]’s decision to continue living in the House of Wind came with an inevitable change of rooms. He had to walk up one extra floor, for the female chose the bedchamber placed on the hallway above the one he and Cassian shared, and his shadows began to move with a mischievous lack of control once they noticed the Spymaster’s intentions.

Azriel knocked on the door, announcing his presence through the shadows that peered inside. Not a second later, he heard [Name]’s frantic steps, and she, as expected, didn’t seem as though awakened from slumber. Her eyes were suspicious, and the female was dressed in traveling clothes. She didn’t care to state otherwise, nor to hide her provisions and backpack placed on the corner of her room.

“It’s a little late for a visit,” [Name] stated, although not surprised. Instead, the female seemed to analyze him, trying to find out why he was there in the first place.

“It’s a little late for tracking,” he mocked. If she was anyone else, Azriel would’ve supported his shoulder-weight on the door, a foot pushing against the crevice, inviting himself in. But [Name] left him wary of his words and acts; with a sense of unknown anticipation. Azriel felt, once again, as though a green-boy unaware of a female’s tastes. [Name] placed him on a chess board, and Azriel was left under the impression that she needed but a single misstep of his to steal his king.

“It was a spontaneous decision,” his mate answered, unresponsive as his shadows reacted to her voice-tone and began to flutter closer, like small and innocent butterflies.

“So was mine.”

“Bold statement coming from someone who’s been ignoring me for months,” she bit. Azriel didn’t allow his surprise to rise to his features. Both managed, after all, to wear a veil of nonchalance despite the implications behind their words.

“Bold judgment coming from someone who commanded me to do so.”

“You never seemed to listen,” [Name] answered, waving her hand.

“Were you sad that I did, for once?”

Her stance changed, if only for a mere second, but he caught on it. Mother be damned, he tucked that information closer to his heart than he should have. 

“What are you doing here?”

“Your sisters are worried.”

[Name] accessed him, aware of the low blow; the mouse-trap he placed on the board. She ignored it. “They’re welcome to visit me anytime.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“What are you doing here?” [Name] repeated, and Azriel was caught by surprise. Her commanding voice was, at least once, only triggered if she used an imperative phrase. The Spymaster never saw her use it as a question, which meant that she had been training somehow, it was only left for him to find out in whom.

Azriel was physically close enough to the point where pretending to be affected by her demand was useless. She would’ve noticed the absence of haziness coating his eyes; the overall alert state of his body. The male moved his pawn, the information he kept a secret for so long, finally clear for her to see. “There’s something we need your help with.”

Her eyes grew wide, a slight shift in her scent that indicated neither fear or anger, but excitement. Azriel felt a sudden tremble that went through his entire body. The fact that [Name] now knew would change every single damned thing between them for the better. The Spymaster could already anticipate the fierceness of their future competitions, her obstinate glance and taunting grin, the quick-pacing of his heart. Mother be damned, he already yearned for the sight.

“You’re immune,” she pointed out with slight wonder, clearing the path for him to enter the room.

“Yes.”

“For how long?”

“Long enough.”

“This isn’t an answer,” [Name] bit, her tone assuming one of annoyance and anger. He forgot how good he was at bringing that side of her to the surface. Never again, Azriel decided. Never again would he be departed from her long enough to forget of their banters.

“It’s the one you’ll get,” he insisted, kneeling near her backpack. “Where were you planning to go?”

His mate grew quiet, as if pondering her next movement and the consequences it would cause. She seemed to decide whatsoever, judging the odds favorable. “The Mortal Lands.”

Azriel’s back stiffened. He had no doubt that the adaptation was rough, but he didn’t suspect, not even once, that she could’ve been missing her late home. The male rose from the ground and away from that pack, as if the object was forsaken — wrong, — turning to stare at her instead.

“Why?”

“I have unfinished business,” [Name] ignored his disheveled state, staring at him as though he — and his entire social-circle, for that matter, — were stupid for thinking she had left nothing behind after twenty-five years of living in the Mortal Lands. “Something that, coming to think of, I could use your help with.”

Azriel gave her a stare most would cower from. She returned with one most would lose their confidence against. The male envisioned that damned board, memorized the position of his pieces, and made his move. “I presume your sisters weren’t informed of your plans.”

“Obviously.”

“So why,” he taunted, moving closer while still leaving enough space between them, “would I cross my High-Lady’s wish, and help with whatever it is you came up with?”

[Name] crossed her arms against her chest, reading in between the lines of his expression and coming to terms with his words. “It will be faster with your winnowing, but this isn’t what you wish to hear, is it? You want to strike a deal.”

He grinned, victorious, as her eyes trailed to the paintings on his forearms and exposed shoulders. His knight was so close to her king, he could almost hear the check-mate coming from his lips, even if that was all but a metaphorical game on a metaphorical board. 

“You’ll help me get to the Mortal Lands, then what? What am I supposed to do?”

“Train with me outside Velaris. You’ll be the Court’s spy, and once judged ready, I’ll assign you to a mission in Montesere.”

[Name]’s eyes narrowed, as if seeing the plastered map of Prythian on her mind. Azriel had no doubt the female had studied the land’s expanse and history, had no doubt she wasn’t clueless, at least not entirely, as to why the Night Court needed someone inside the magical barriers. There was a gleam there, and her lips curved with the same malice she wielded during their strategizing, when she saw something he didn’t; when she was sure he wouldn’t be able to counter her movements. Azriel shuddered then, not with fear but with expectation. It had been ages since the last time his mate showed enough patience and will to strike, to enter a mental competition. That game of theirs, filled with taunts and strategies and low-blows, was exciting; the type of conjunction between a sense of immaculate victory and determination upon defeat one could only find when their competitiveness was perfectly matched. 

One [Name] forgot she enjoyed until Azriel invited her to play again.

“As I see it, I’ll do as I’m told and then be given a reward,” she said, moving left to her murals. [Name]’s room was a bigger version of her late office, with books and maps and annotations plastered wherever the eyes could reach. His mate grabbed a white powder from the inside of a drawer, its scent sleep-inducing, and Azriel was left aghast at her abilities; her potential. “That doesn’t seem fair, especially considering that you might need me, but I don’t need you. Not crucially, at least.”

“Put me to sleep, and once I’m awake, I’ll inform the entire Inner Circle of your intentions,” the male answered matter-of-factly, because there was not a chance she thought that plan would lead somewhere.

“Then, what? You’ll follow my trail, because I could command everyone else to turn a blind eye? Where would that lead us, if not the Mortal Lands?”

“I’d find your trail before you even managed to reach the Day Court,” Azriel answered, his words filled with well-based arrogance. [Name] inserted two fingers inside the small, glass-made pot, and smudged her digits with the white powder. The female grew closer, and his shadows danced around her neck and waist; her thighs and arms; all of the places Azriel himself yearned to touch, but didn’t dare to.

“I don’t think you’re understanding your position. A dragon might be easy to find but what of a beetle? A serpent? What is a sparrow-hawk in the Autumn Court, if not a single bird between many others?” [Name] discarded the powder, and repressed a smile at whatever his shadows had whispered. “I’ll vanish and tend to my business, and you’ll have my sisters’ wrath and a lot of frustration to take care of.”

Somehow, a knight drew closer to his king too. Azriel’s smile was bitter, sleep no longer hazing his senses, as he glimpsed the situation, noticing the inevitable siege that had formed around his pawns. “I would’ve managed nevertheless, but this isn’t what you wish to hear, is it? You want to strike a deal.”

He purred those words — her words, — and [Name]’s grin widened, voicing the phrase that would grant her a plain upperground. “I’m sure my sisters came with the training aspect, so I’ll follow along, if only for their sake. We’ll train outside Velaris, and once I’m judged prepared, you’ll winnow me to the Mortal Lands.”

“And Montesere?”

“I’ll go there after we see to my business, not a heartbeat before.”

The feigned training would grant coverage to their departure to the Mortal Lands. Azriel wouldn’t need to report his dismissal to either Rhysand nor Feyre, and [Name] would leave the House of Wind, as it was expected. Their small venture would prepare the Spymaster for the idea of leaving his mate, by herself, near Montesere’s barriers; perhaps he’d even find another possibility until then. He offered her an opened hand, the sign of his agreement. 

“That’s a deal,” said the Spymaster. [Name] touched his palm with her own, seeming to anticipate a shudder that didn’t come. Azriel’s shadows tangled itselves in between their hands and stretched arms, accompanying the route of their tattoos, shielding the male’s gaze from his terrible burnt scars.

“That’s a deal,” she repeated. He felt as those words drove the magic to his back; traced the mark that seemed to form the letter S, from the bottom of his waist to his right shoulder. A dragon, his shadows had informed, surrounded with the illustration of scars left by a lightning strike.

Somehow, Azriel knew her back had been marked, too. And his first chess match against his mate had ended in a draw.

general notes: i am deeply thankful for all of the support this story has been given since the very first time i have posted about it. the entire thing is wrapped up in my mind, and i am so excited to see your further reactions to [name], that became such a beloved writing of mine. regardless, thank you once again! i hope you have enjoyed this bible of a first chapter. xoxo <3

taglist [comment to be added]: @nyotamalfoy @rachelnicolee

#acomaf #acosf #acotar #acowar #azriel #azriel / reader #azriel imagine #azriel imagines #azriel x reader #acotar x reader #azriel shadowsinger #azriel x y/n #azriel x you #azriel x female!reader

[eviebane]

Self-Actualisation in Good Omens [inspired by this thread]

Have you ever watched Lucifer? If so, you're coming here with a good foundation of what self-actualisation is.

Why do we care about another show? Well, Neil had a hand it it's creation, so it's not far-fetched to think some ideas might float over to Good Omens

What is self-actualisation and how does this work in Lucifer? By definition, this means realising one's own potential. In Lucifer, this is a magical trait that reflects how a soul perceives itself, then shapes that into reality. In humans this means where they go in the afterlife. Those with perceived guilt go to Hell, while the rest go to Heaven. For angels this manifests through their physical appearance (e.g. wings!) and their divine powers (including type of powers, strength of powers, and vulnerability to death). Lucifer's wings and physical appearance change multiple times throughout the show to reflect his self-hatred, going full 'devil mode' when he feels particularly guilty and monstrous.

How does this fit in with Good Omens? Neil confirmed that Crowley's wings begin to grey while talking to Aziraphale in 2x01 'In The Beginning' scene. At this point, Crowley has begun to question God but is not yet Fallen. From this conversation alone, his wings have already begun to change colour toward the 'demon' black wings he has today.

I also think it's interesting that only some demons have animalistic traits, and how it affects them varies. Hastur (toad/maggots), Ligur (toad), Beelzebub (flies), Furfur (split tongue), Dagon (scales?). Interesting Shax has no 'odd' traits.

Crowley seems very affected by his snakey-traits. He can change into a snake, tends to hiss when he forgets himself, and may or may not have snakey feet. Most interestingly, he has snake eyes. The fact that he did not maintain his snake eyes during the body swap is strange to me. If he was 'cursed' with them then they would've stayed with him in Aziraphale's body, but it was able to transfer over to Aziraphale's appearance just like everything else Crowley chooses to wear. But why the sunglasses? Well, if he's self-actualising a deep, hidden guilt, then he wouldn't have conscious control over his eyes. Neil has hinted that Crowley is an unreliable narrator of his involvement in his Fall. I think Crowley is burying the truth deep down and it's self-actualising.

What about holy water & hell fire, though? Well, bullets and swords only ever hurt Lucifer depending on how he was self-actualising. Sometimes they hurt him, sometimes he was invulnerable.

It's not a conscious on/off switch, it's deep down in your soul but manifesting in reality! They have zero idea it's happening.

We could also consider the 25 lazari miracle - is it a reflection of how strong Crowley & Aziraphale feel when they work together?

The whole plot of the book and S1 revolves around the idea of nature vs. nurture. Adam chooses to be a human ("Reality will listen to you").

What else does the book tell us?

"[Aziraphale & Crowley] both were of angel stock, after all."

"Don't tell me about genetics. What've they got to do with it. Look at Satan. Created as an angel, grows up to be the Great Adversary. Hey, if you're going to go on about genetics, you might as well say the kid will grow up to be an angel. After all, his father was really big in Heaven in the old days. Saying he'll grow up to be a demon just because his dad became one is like saying a mouse with its tail cut off will give birth to tailless mice. No. Upbringing is everything. Take it from me."

So this begs the question, what separates demons from angels? Does God decide? God is pretty big on free will and playing Her own ineffable game so...

This could open some interesting doors for season 3.

#good omens meta #good omens #crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #goodomens #gomens #ineffable divorce #gomens 2 #good omens 2 #aziracrow #good omens s3 #good omens season 3 #self-actualisation #lucifer

[seventeenlovesthree]

Going thoroughly insane over how on completely different ends Sora's and Koushirou's roles and relationships with their mothers (and in extension their parents in general) are portrayed in Adventure. And once again, it was ALL based on miscommunication:

Sora is perceived as the tradition-defying "tomboy" who is "loud" and plays football; Koushirou is perceived as the "good boy" who is always "polite and correct" and never acts spoilt or out of line. The key word here is "perceived", because we see both of them display traits in front of their peers that go beyond the "role" their parents witness (and that both of them are willingly or subconsciously displaying in front of them); Sora is actually the caring mom/big sister friend who literally and figuratively takes everyone under their wing, Koushirou is opinionated, forward and outspoken when things are dire and at stake.

Sora's mother wants her to act more like "the daughter of an ie-moto", more feminine, less out of line - at least, that is the message that reaches Sora, since her mother asks her to quit her beloved football. Her polite and aloof attitude appears to be rather cold and dismissive to Sora, which is basically what makes her rebel against the whole flower arrangement business. She feels unloved and misunderstood, as if she cannot be appreciated if she isn't "perfect" in her mother's eyes. Thus she is unable to understand that her mother may just worry about her hurting her injured leg even more. Furthermore, Sora has a very poor grasp on the fact that she herself is acting towards her friends and partner in the exact same way, albeit in a more gentle way most of the time.

Koushirou's mother wants him to be more selfish, to tell her what he dislikes and what bothers him, to stop being perfect at all times - but that is exactly what he physically cannot do, as he himself is doubting his whereabouts and simply tries to just shove all doubts and worries aside. Instead of acting "normal", he is hiding behind that barrier and mask of perfection towards his parents - and has to realize that this attitude is worrying them even more.

In the end, it all gets (mostly) resolved through them realizing that they're still loved regardless of what happened; they don't necessarily HAVE TO change, but it is up to them whether they want to or not. Meaning, their respective arcs of self-discovery have not ended yet, but the foundation for better relationships has been established here. Sora will start playing tennis (a.k.a changing her hobby) in an attempt to move towards her mother more, choosing to do so for her own sake. Koushirou will try to act more open and casual towards his parents, even though he is actively being reassured that his hobby (being into computers) is exactly what he is all about and that he doesn't have to change that.

#sora takenouchi #koushirou izumi #koushiro izumi #izzy izumi #koura #it's actually a shame they didn't play with that parallel more #especially seeing how well they get along with each other #and i still maintain that their mother's would LOVE them respectively #imagine kae swooning over that sweet yet extradordinary girl her son befriended!!! #imagine toshiko being delighted her daughter made such a well behaved friend #so obsessed with this parallel #my two cents #meta #digimon adventure #digimon

[harmonysanreads]

ON MY KNEES FOR YANDERE ALHAITHAM PART 3 😫😫😭😭, got me blushing and shi

iwillnotwriteforalhaithamagainiwillnotwriteforalhaithamagainiwillnotwriteforalhaithamagainiwillnotwriteforalhaithamagain —

ugh. screw it.

Delirium

yandere alhaitham x reader

cw: yandere, captivity, implied mind break

Click.

The window pane stepped aside for the chilly night air to waltz through, albeit lacking the cool of one ; the glass structure swayed, the timbre of its brazen dance howled throughout the dead of the night. Goosebumps rose on your exposed skin, all of your senses eager to relish in a bygone, snatched luxury.

You took a deep breath as if to remember, accumulate all injustice enacted upon you— as if to gather the merciless, unfair cutting off yellowed and spotted leaves and perceived hostile thorns by a gardener expecting nothing short of perfection, by your husband ; so that all that'd be left is a beautiful rose, to be admired as however the gardener pleased and so incapable of defense, stripped of its natural charm, waiting to wither away —and you breathed out to rid yourself of the burden, the filth.

If you had not been the human that you were and instead a songbird perhaps trapped likewise unfairly—no, you are that songbird at the face of freedom, blinking and making sure this was not a ploy borne of its captor's boredom, too distrustful due to its period of captivity or much worse, a distorted delusion. However, as much as you're like that hopeless songbird, you're also not, because you broke your own cage instead of the entrance opening itself ; an action that rises the suspicion of its existence but you're too caught up in your victory to nurture that now.

A parallel paints itself : the songbird takes one step towards the cage door with faint hesitation, you swing your leg over the window's lintel and grab onto a glitching place you think is the ledge itself to establish support and when the edges of grass tickles your toes you're more eager than ever to take a full leap to freedom's embrace, the songbird's pace speeds up and the distance to the open entrance shrinks, it unfurls its wings and the feathers straighten with excitement, with hope. It jumps in full preparation to take flight, promising a better tomorrow to itself and no mercy to its captor, it sees the light and it can hear the wind's calling just a breath away as the entrance slams shut.

(A force too strong to promise good snatches you back from freedom's longing embrace, again.)

Adrenaline and senses mix and merge in an incomprehensible miscellany, they stay static to a momentary dark and then blurrily reveal silver light. You try to blink away the dampness clinging to the corners of your eyes and gain control over your breathing, recognizing the inability to do so by the iron clasp around your body and you being firmly pressed to a solid thorax.

It takes you two seconds to process the reality and another two to confirm Alhaitham's uncomfortable hold.

Right.

He must've sensed your restlessness, bringing you even closer if possible and shifting his head to your nape, his gray locks tickle your skin and you hear a faded mumble of something — confirming that this was, in fact, the reality and the exhilarating experience of breaking the cage a delirium borne of your crumbling sanity.

#you caught me in a good mood hm #y'all better believe this guy has me at gunpoint writing for him🗿 #yandere #yandere genshin impact #yandere genshin impact x reader #yandere genshin x reader #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin x gn reader #genshin x reader #yandere alhaitham #yandere al haitham #yandere alhaitham x reader #yandere al haitham x reader #yandere imagines #yandere drabbles #yandere genshin #genshin yandere #alhaitham x reader #al haitham x reader #male yandere #yandere x darling #yandere genshin drabbles #yandere genshin imagines #genshin al haitham #al haitham genshin #anon asks #al haitham agenda #al haitham x you #alhaitham x you

[seoafin]

oop i wrote it

cw: sukuna. implied cannibalism.

-

A thumb roughly presses down on your bottom lip. “Open.”

You wordlessly obey, tentatively opening your mouth as Sukuna watches you, all four eyes trained on your face with an intensity that has sweat gathering at your temples.

There’s nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide. In this large banquet hall filled to the brim with food (offerings from the terrified villagers he didn’t kill hours earlier on a whim), there is only you and him. Two hands gripping you by the waist, holding you in place on his lap, while another hand on your face commands you to open. The last hand is splayed across your back, the thin layer of the kosode Uraume had forced you into (the clothes you had taken to wearing too undignified, too unsightly for Sukuna’s gaze) barely offering any coverage.

You think it had been on purpose. If Sukuna kills you now, all the better for him. An eyesore like you who had appeared out of nowhere, tumbling out of the sky like a bird whose wings had been plucked, right into the middle of a massacre.

“After all that nonsensical squawking earlier,” he starts, his voice a deep rumble against your frame. “Suddenly so silent?”

He seems to find it funny when you don’t (can’t) respond, chuckling at his own joke when his thumb slips into your mouth, pressing down onto your tongue, and forcing your mouth even wider for his open scrutiny. 

You stay silent, mind racing with all potential avenues of choice, whether it’s remark on the lovely weather (it was raining earlier, but you figure the rain would appeal to Sukuna more than the sun, right?) or talk about how funny it was to see Uraume in the kitchen barking out orders to prepare the banquet all around you. There’s no possible way this could all be meant for just one person. You’ve never seen so much fish and meats and vegetables and fruits, and considering you know what a modern day supermarket is, it seems excessive. All this from an already starving village? 

Or you could just keep silent. Which seems to be the best option seeing as his thumb is in your mouth. You wonder, for what seems to be the hundredth time since you’ve landed in an entirely different era, if Sukuna is going to kill you for the perceived slight of drooling all over one of his hands. You'd say he doesn’t seem to particularly mind (in your opinion, anyway. But what do you know.)

You make a noise in your throat, muffled, and Sukuna blinks, as if he had forgotten you were a living breathing person. Two eyes slide to you, meeting your gaze as you compose yourself.

His thumb relents, just enough that you can still feel him hovering. But you can speak. You figure it’s his way of telling you that you can speak without the possible threat of mutilation. Actually scratch that. The threat is always there. Ever present. If you had learned anything, it was that all it took was a simple thought to be acted on, and the lift of a finger. 

“The food!” you exclaim (the best you can), all your anxious pent up energy making you seem eager. “It’ll…” you swallow, “get cold!”

So please just let me leave, you internally beg, to the Buddha, to your annoying kouhai Gojo, or whatever deity is looking down on you and laughing at this entire predicament they’ve placed you in. Please just let me leave.

The hand retreats from your mouth. You don’t dare breathe a sigh of relief, not when three hands are still holding you.

Then to your great surprise, Sukuna smiles, baring teeth, greatly amused, and the stretch of his lips reaches all of his eyes. 

You are equal parts confused and terrified, waiting for the punchline to drop like the axe of a guillotine over your neck. 

“Tell me,” he purrs, two hands bringing you close. Until you can trace every single line of the monstrous inhuman right side of his face and every marking. “Have you ever tasted human flesh?”

Human…flesh…?

You hold your smile the best you can, but Sukuna must be able to smell your apprehension because there’s a glint of sadistic amusement in his eyes. “I…have…not…”

“Uraume is a fine cook,” he replies, turning his head towards the tables of food surrounding you, and your stomach plummets as understanding dawns on you. “To prepare human flesh for consumption is a difficult task, and yet he has not disappointed me once.”

You slowly look to the table closest to you, examining what you had previously assumed to be fowl. It’s charred, the same color as roasted meat, but upon closer inspection the shape resembles…

It looks like…a…limb.

A…human…limb.

You bite your tongue to keep your smile from faltering. He’s watching you now, a sharp eyed predator who has scented blood. If you show anything resembling fear, you know for sure he’ll kill you without a second thought.

He’s going to eat you. That has to be why he brought you here. He’s going to dismember you and then give you to Uraume who will gladly season and roast you like a pig.

You wonder if you should just give up and accept your fate now. You’ll die here, a thousand years into the past, alone, and nobody will have even known what happened to you.

They’ll think you disappeared, that you deserted, and they’ll only be half right.

You can’t let it end like this. You won’t let it end like this. The first thing a jujustu sorcerer learns is that hopes and dreams are dangerous. Regrets even more.

When you die, you won’t regret a single damn thing.

That’s why you can’t die here.

You straighten, forcing yourself to relax despite the anxiety churning in your gut. “Are you going to eat me?” You ask him pleasantly, lips curved.

“You would offer yourself so easily?” You see the unpleasant set of his lips, the dismissive tone of his words, and feel a cold sweat envelope your body. The sheer power of him would have you buckling to your knees had you been standing. You’ve lost his favor, and the only thing awaiting you unless you act now is death.

“I would not,” you say, momentarily glancing down in a demure move. “I would offer you something else though.” A pause. You wrap your arms around his shoulders, drawing yourself closer, meeting his gaze straight on. “I’m sure I can interest you in it.”

#wow heian sukuna rlly opened the floodgates huh LMFAO #let me tell you i did not think i would ever write for sukuna yet here we are #now that i got that out of my system ahahahahahaha #(let's pretend this never happened) #sukuna x reader #m.jjk #sukuna fic

[sparrowsworkshop]

"Alighting the Darkness" by OneWingedSparrow for @dubiiousfood

This is my Loftwing Letter for @dubiiousfood, for the event hosted by @zelinkcommunity ! I hope you like this TP Zelink fluff! <3 Main Tags: Twilight Princess, Post-Canon, Married Zelink, Fluff without Plot Summary: Following the events of the Twilight, Zelda comes to realize how Link places light wherever she needs it. Read on AO3 Reblogs are appreciated! ~ The populace of Hyrule could perhaps say that they knew a “time before Twilight, and the two times thereafter.” Though most Hyruleans had been unknowingly turned to spirits during the curse over the kingdom, and, were therefore oblivious to the atrocities committed by the Usurper King Zant, they were nevertheless aware enough that, in the past, there had first been a time of grim foreboding; then, a time of great fear; and at last, a grand time where the great fear was graciously extinguished.

Queen Zelda, however, dwelt upon a different timeline. The time before Twilight, and the two times thereafter, mattered not nearly so much as these:

The time before Link, and all time thereafter.

~

She saw her Hero first in his accursed form of a blue-eyed beast; and, even in the darkness cast over the castle, everything about the wolf before her seemed to gleam. The iron shackle clinging to his leg, the grinning fangs escorting his growl, even the artful patterns streaking his dark fur with a lighter shade. A snarling predator stalking into her chamber should not have been a source of encouragement, but Zelda could sense the spirit within the flesh, and her weary eyes smiled faintly under her hood as she watched him stride towards her.

You are the light, she told him within her mind, as she removed her hood and his growling instantly ceased. The foretold, sacred light Hyrule desperately needs.

She beheld in him the Hero chosen by the gods. She foresaw in him the Hero destined to bring Hyrule back into the light, as a careful goatherd would direct his flock out of the storm and safely into shelter. In spite of her gifted Wisdom, however, she did not perceive in him the Hero chosen to guideherback into light as well. Such an epiphany revealed itself only during their future marriage.

~

Rebuilding the castle was a lengthy endeavor. While the structure was not demolished entirely, the brutal clash between Midna’s Fused Shadows and the demon beast Ganon left several stones unthroned. While the construction crews travailed the necessary renovations, the queen and her fiancé spent much time outdoors, in the quiet courtyards where pink and yellow flowers still dared to bloom, ever defiant towards the evil that once shadowed them.

Verily, Zelda might have found superior productivity in her study, where her paperwork was not at risk of being spied on by scouting ants or swept away by the teasing breeze. Even so, she chose to eschew her old habits. Her productivity might have lessened outdoors, but her motivation only increased. After all, how could she not be delighted by the golden-bodied beetles Link presented to her with a flourish, or the merry tunes he played for her on whistlegrass when no one else remained in earshot?

In the courtyard, with his subordinates standing vigil, Link never needed to be on constant guard, to uphold his duty as her appointed protector first and foremost. When they would travel Hyrule, of course, checking in on each province, he shouldered his responsibility with grave focus, standing tall as both the Hero of Twilight and the Captain of the Hylian Knights. But here, under the oak trees and the dappled sunlight, where the windchimes laughed and the stepstones wandered—here, as the beetles spread their wings and buzzed away from his open palms, and the blithe melody of the grass summoned a hawk to cheer a chorus—here, with her, he could be simply Link, grinning and teasing to make her smile even while she worked. It felt quite like a forgotten childhood come back to greet them, Zelda thought, or perhaps a bright tomorrow welcoming them anew.

~

A castle is a fortress first, a sanctuary second, and a home last of all. The larger a window, the more accessible an invader’s point of entry. Thus, many long corridors were illuminated only by braziers, their warmth spaced apart by the ghostly fingers of drafts ever haunting the stone walls. Over her lifetime, Zelda’s eyes grew accustomed to the enclosed dim; Link, however, had a newcomer’s keen eye for all improvements that could be made.

“It’s dark in here,” he said once of their bedchamber, as he scrutinized the curtains and ran his hand over the thick, embroidered fabric. “Does the brown color please you?” “It keeps out the sun,” Zelda replied, but her words suddenly sounded strange. She wrinkled her brow, and, stepping next to Link, reached out, tugging the two curtains away from each other. The day was overcast, but a grayish glow whispered into the room, gracing their boots with a shy, soft brightness.

She glanced at her husband. “How do you feel about ivory?”

~

From that moment onward, Link’s transformations of Zelda’s once dark world became all the more apparent. For the first time, she noticed the multiplication of candles around their dining table—most of them scented cheerfully with pumpkin, transported all the way from Beth’s Sundry. She counted the vases of bright-colored flowers strategically positioned around the Great Hall, like devoted soldiers standing at attention, and knew only one person who would trek so far into the forest to collect such particular, elusive species.

Her favorite of his transformations, however, was when Link commissioned the court artists to paint not a portrait of himself, as most royals would, but rather, a mural of the pastures of Ordona. The grass in the painting practically dripped with morning dew, and the circular horns of the goats glittered like fairy wings; a brilliant dawn broke through the dark woods beyond the flock, and spilling sunshine over the tranquil field.

That vision alone would have rendered the painting wonderful; but Link’s directions went further, and the artists happily delivered.

In the foreground stood a figure, facing the dawning sun—black cloak slipping from her shoulders, while the wind swept through her hair.

“Do you like it?” Link whispered in her ear, the day his surprise was revealed.

Only one thing would I change, she thought at first. Where are you in this lovely story?

Yet, when she turned towards him to ask, fierce, bright blue eyes caught hers, and she saw for a moment in him the wolf who once brought Courage to her gloom.

Enlightened, Zelda smiled.

“Of course,” she said, and cupped his face in her hands, to lose herself in his gaze just as the woman in the painting lost herself in the powerful sun.

You are the light...my light...as always.

~

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