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#who am i kidding this was already an essay
lt-catbolt · 8 months
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tl;dr fame is weird
it's actually kind of crazy to think about how there's people that almost everyone around the world knows like
imagine if you tried to explain to someone a thousand years ago that there was this one "Taylor" or "Wilbur" or "Lin-Manuel" that just… internationally, cross-continentially, people know them. and they're not political figures (at least not by definition); they're not famous warriors, or royalty, or emperors-- nope, they're poets. bards. and not only their songs are internationally known, no, their personal lives too-- to varying degrees, of course, but to a point where some of their fans misguidedly feel as though they know them like a friend, because they've grown accustomed to hearing their voice day in day out in their own room, their own house, wherever they go--
like how is society that tilted that the overwhelming majority of people will go forgotten by all but their close friends, their passing acquaintances-- did you know that studies from four years ago show that the average person only makes 29 "real" friends in a lifetime, of which only 6 last? in 2003 there was a study that said you make 400 friends in a lifetime, but only a few close ones. regardless of what the accurate statistic is-- can you imagine that most people will be remembered by maybe 400 people, of which not even half will last a generation down? But there's this handful of celebrities, this select few-- it feels like a lot when you start listing them, but placed in contrast with the 8.1 BILLION PEOPLE currently on the earth? insane. a study from 2013 says 0.0086% of people are famous. LESS THAN ONE-TENTH OF A PERCENT! it's like the world's worst gambling machine, a fucked-up few raised on a pedestal so the rest of us can dream of lives we'll never attain because we were born at the wrong time or were too shy to grab a microphone or just missed an opportunity that one time. They will be remembered, at least for longer than a single generation, because they have a wikipedia page and an album or two to back them up. They are known on a first-name basis across thousands upon thousands of households, part of more inside jokes than they themselves could ever comprehend, mentioned more by strangers they'll never meet than some people will be named by their loved ones in a lifetime. We laugh at the cinematics and television fame of the Hunger Games, we act like we don't put people on spotlights in deathmatches. We act as though we wouldn't throw ourselves forwards as tribute if we were asked to be destroyed by a life of fame, and in fact some of us long for it. We thirst for the thrill of being recognized on the streets, not even realizing what kind of horrors these people undergo on a daily basis because they were Sherlock that one time. The twisted sides of the internet they have to avoid because humanity's most fucked up desires are now projected onto them, the chosen few, the "lucky" ones. We shout abuse at them for being human, for being tired, for making mistakes. We expect them to be perfect, even if many of them didn't ask for this life of fame. Sure, they may still want it-- because who wouldn't? It is the dream of contemporary man to be famous, and if you stop to think about it, it has always been. Hamilton destroyed himself for his legacy, Narcissis died of his own adoration, Nebuchadnezzar had a statue of himself erected so that all might bow to him. We long for recognition of the masses, and today's society makes it look so easy. Look at Ranboo, Tommy, Tubbo, Philza-- all streamers who skyrocketed out of seemingly nowhere, seemingly at random. Just "luck", right? Right place, right time, got in on a famous SMP and BOOM they're famous now, making more money than they'll ever need. You don't see the dedication they put into-- the work, the burnout, the endless grinding and years of nothing that precursored their fame. It makes it feel like you have a chance-- if they could do it, why shouldn't I be able to, right? If I keep trying, maybe I'll hit that same goldmine, right?
But it doesn't work like that, does it?
So we're left with our pipe dreams, our useless aspirations, that little kindling flame inside that believes we could rise above. We cherish it for the rest of our lives, ignoring the odds even when they're glaring at us like the sun. Because if we abandon our hope at fame, then, well, why bother trying at all? Because we're "doing what we love"? In this economy? Hah, nice try.
Yet somehow… maybe there's some merit to it. Maybe, if the odds are really that horrid, we should stop caring. We can keep hoping, sure-- so long as that hope brings us nothing but sweet longing, and none of the sour regret of missed chances and twisted desire. But maybe we shouldn't live on that hope alone, and maybe we should bring back some of that innocent warmth and kind enjoyment that those live laugh love signs are always going on about. Maybe, just maybe, our goal should be our own happiness, not an endless investment in a future that will probably never come. Maybe we shouldn't sacrifice now for tomorrow, every day over again, in the futile hope that one day tomorrow will be today.
Because at the end of the day, we only get one of each. Famous or not, time will keep ticking, so you'd better use it well. Striving for fame isn't wrong, but be careful when you gamble with your life.
If you wouldn't bet your entire fortune on a 0.000086 chance, maybe you shouldn't bet your entire life on it, either.
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astrxealis · 6 months
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hi guys please wish me luck for my college entrance exam tomorrow for one of my dream schools xoxo
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#LET'S GOOO MGA PAREH 💙🦅💙🦅💙🦅💙🦅#i'm so chill for some reason even if ik i will never forgive myself if i don't get in. anyway. manifesting!!! i will pass with flying colors#IT'S REAL DAMN STRESSFUL FOR ME bcs i am aiming for honors courses which means i have to be top 15%... i am top 15% (and higher) in my batch#in school anyway but... urgh...#so. yeah. give me all your best wishes thankyousomuchxoxo AHHEHEHWHSHFJAH sobbing (but fr. if you do. i really appreciate it!!)#i believe in myself :] mostly. the time limit scares me and math and abstract reasoning bcs 5 minutes for 30 items but yeah. okay.#i am Smart ..... bro i literally got perfect on my physics exam and got 100 in statistics (i am really proud of these in particular)#my extracurriculars are good !! all my math scores are insane (cue a math nerd) and science (science nerd) english (god. no explanation#needed) honestly every subject is slay and so is my essay-making but ERGH. honors course... top 15%...#i will try to be chill! honestly i am already lol the nerves aren't getting to me somehow. gl to me and all that i know and do not know.#both here and irl :3 also to fellow ph kids (who are most likely younger than me if they aren't older and yk not worrying abt cets anymore#LMFAO) err idk if . okay idk what i was going to say LMFAO anyway i'm busy af and idk if i'm good with teaching others#but if you ever want any tips from me (honestly i don't really have tips. i do what i do and just make it. but there's a lot involved there)#feel free to come to me for anything ^_^ anything at all tbh. doesn't have to be acads idk i like helping others in general. BUT IT DEPENDS.#but yeah just hmu whatever i will have you know i am genuinely a smart & responsible kid and i am proud of that bcs my family is amazing w#smarts but also the Hard Work is there so :3 !! english is my forte science is my forte math is my forte. also socsci and whatever tbh.#i'm probably insane but i genuinely love all those topics and what we learn in school FISHFK so yeah !!! okay i shut up now#will do my best... zzz... and then i will work on myself. to be better than i already am and even better than i could possibly be. ya. fun!#the mga pareh is a joke btw i like imitating filipino kids like that. like yooo mga pareh let's goooooo wahee!!!!!
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silverislander · 4 months
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prof said congrats for writing up a proposal so early i am going to get a good grade in. well this is literally going to be graded. but yk the meme
#i really hope its decent proposals are really hard for me to write. i never really understand how much im supposed to say#also i dont plan stuff in advance! i hate drafts and proposals why cant i just jump in and run w my topic#i dont Know exactly what im going to cover just yet can i get back to you once ive covered it#levi.txt#i spent One page just opening the two page proposal so. i know it needs some cleaning up#but the last time i wrote one of these i only got a 75 (not a bad grade but i could do significantly better) bc. and i am not kidding.#i wrote a several page intro abt the themes of a story i was super pumped to write. and forgot the /plot characters and title/#a 75 was honestly generous. that prof already liked me and knew my work so i got very lucky#also i just think the guy im working with for my essay is so cool and i want to impress him bfhshsk#ive taken 2 classes with him before he is so smart and so enthusiastic. i was 1 of only 3 who was there for every class both times#everyone whos helped me has been so cool and very nice to me i want to do a good job and prove that im as capable as they think#and also jesus fucking christ ive worked so hard for this degree PLEASE#if i dont get honours im walking into the forest laying down and letting the fae take me as they will#side note: i have 1.5 movies left (its late and im finishing army of the dead tomorrow + watching evil dead rise)!! thats so exciting#theyve (mostly) been really fun and i feel like i have a really good general idea of where im going w my essay now#the movie eras are starting to kind of organize themselves into coherent themes in my mind#i think its smth along the lines of racism/xenophobia -> social change -> satanic panic -> action and militarism -> prejudice/bias#and i actually think were in smth of a thematic reckoning w zombies rn as a culture that im excited to discuss!!#for so long weve accepted that zombies arent people but weve really been starting to interrogate that since abt the mid 2010s#w tropes like searching for a cure (not just a vaccine) or movies like warm bodies or evil dead where you can truly turn back#and im really excited to see where the future takes the zombie genre!!
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shitacademicswrite · 1 year
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I want to share something for those of you who are teaching and want your conservative students to be more open-minded to liberal ideas that you’re presenting.
I grew up in a conservative family and a conservative town, and like most conservative kids, had been told that colleges were hotbeds of liberalism, so I was already defensive politically when I started college. My first semester or two I was really skeptical of everything political that my professors presented me with.
And then I took a women’s studies course (required at my college). And on the first day, the professor said, 
“You don’t have to be a feminist. There are days when I’m not a feminist. But we’re going to discuss feminist ideas in this class, and you might find that you agree with some of them and disagree with others, and that’s fine.”
And that took the pressure off. By telling me that I didn’t HAVE to be a feminist, that I didn’t HAVE to agree, that professor started me on the road to becoming a feminist. I particularly remember her giving us information about what a huge percentage of the housework was still done by women, even in [hetero] couples where both the man and woman worked outside the home. And after that I remember saying, “I’m not a feminist, but I can see where they’re coming from.” 
Within 5 years, I was claiming the term and coming out to my mom as a feminist.
So when I taught college writing, I assigned politically liberal essays to my students, many of whom came from conservative backgrounds. And before they read the first one, I would say,
“The reading for the next class--I want you to know that you don’t have to agree with it. You don’t have to agree with anything that your professors teach you in college. But the point of a college education is to have your mind opened to other points of view. So you’re not required to agree, but you are required to approach the reading with an open mind. You might find that you agree with some things the author says and disagree with others. And that’s cool! We WANT you to use your critical thinking and decide for yourself what you think about things! But to do that, you need to give people the benefit of the doubt and be open-minded to what they have to say.”
And I have to say, it worked really well for me! I remember in particular that after I assigned the essay “Black Men and Public Space”, one of my students wrote in her reading reflection,
“I was taught in school that racism in America ended with Martin Luther King. I am appalled to discover that this is not true.”
Priming your students to be open-minded, while also encouraging them to use critical thinking, can help to break down some of the automatic defenses against new ideas that students are often taught. Approaching your students’ comments during discussion with an open-minded view yourself, validating their experiences while also making gentle counterarguments, can do a lot as well.
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"The biggest issue is students using it, me spotting it and having no recourse whatsoever to do anything about it." can you elaborate a bit further
Hello !
So to explain a bit more: we [aka your lecturers, teachers, teaching assistants, etc...] know that some students will use ChatGPT.
And there is a discussion to be had about how to work with this, how to design assessment which allow students to leverage something which may simply become a fixture of writing in a workplace environment, but that is not the discussion we are having here. Because that is not what we are worried about.
The defensible, problematic situation is: a student straight up entering the essay prompt on ChatGPT, and using the grand skills of Ctrl+C / Ctrl+V, submits it as their own paper.
And our main worry, I think, was for a long time that we would not be able to catch it. That students would, actually, be able to fool us and that we would actually think this was a student who understood the course, who put in the work, and who deserve to be rewarded for their grade. That was the main fear.
But here is the thing.
And listen up, students :
Essays written by ChatGPT :
Suck
Are spotted from a mile away from the person reading it
For real. They suck.
I cannot stress enough how easy they are to spot. You are NOT fooling anyone. I do not need the platform's AI-detecting tool to know when an essay was written by Chat GPT. It is so, very painfully obvious when that's the case.
But the problem then becomes : ok, I have spotted a student who cheated.
What am I even supposed to do with it.
It is one thing to KNOW that an essay was AI-generated, it is another to defend it to a plagiarism committee. First of all, does it actually count as plagiarism ? Second, how do prove, with certainty, that the student did not write it ? How to I convince the plagiarism committee that this is worth looking into ? I am in the role of a police officer, who needs to convince the DA that this is a winnable case, that prosecuting will not be a waste of their time. But I don't have a Similarity Percentage to rely on. I don't have an original source to say "look, this is the exact same wording!" like in a classic plagiarism case.
Best case scenario, I can make my case for thee student to actually be called to the plagiarism committee, where we probe into how, exactly, they wrote their essay, until they fold. Unlikely, morally questionable, and in all likelihood, ineffective on students already so confident in their bullshit that they have the audacity to submit a fully AI-generated work for their finals.
Now, students, gather up, especially if you have considered using Chat GPT this way. Because right now, you might think it means you can get away with it.
But let me tell you something. First, that essay is getting the shittiest grade we can give you. Because you know what is more difficult than a lecturer proving that a student used AI to generate their essay ? A student proving that they deserve a better grade. Once we give you a grade, burden of evidence is on you to prove that you have not been graded properly. And we can come up with 15 reasons why an essay is a shit essay. We put on kids' gloves, when we lecture and give feedback. We give the simplified version of most theories, we give the basics of how to structure an essay, the bar we set is spectacularly low, because students come in good faith, they are learning, they will not be held at the same standard as academics. But if you try to argue that you need a higher grade, when you had the audacity to not write a single word of your work, the kids gloves are going to come off real quick, and your lecturer will be able to very convincingly explain why, actually, giving you a passing grade was a mercy in the first place.
Second. Academics, especially angry academics, are a gossip machine.
You may get a passing grade, and there may be no official note of it in your file whatsoever. But I can guarantee you that your lecturer will chat with their colleagues. That every single one of your essay that year, and the years to come, will be looked at with so much scrutiny I hope your referencing for every single work reaches perfection. Every single paragraph will be looked at with the knowledge that you are likely to have had it AI-generated. Lecturers will tell their TA to look at for That One Student when they grade you .You will not be getting any flexibility from us, no extension without full documentation to support it, no letter of recommendation from any member of the faculty, no word in your favor if you are bordering a grade bracket. If we are feeling especially petty, we might even forget to answer your emails or answer any question you have with such warmth and kindness you really still never feel like asking a question again in our class. And I know that, because that's already happening. I have the name of three undergrads that we know, for a fact, did not write their own essay. Two are not even in my modules at all.
Now. That's pretty mean. But if you have the absolute audacity and lack of ethics required to submit an essay for which you have not written a single word, and thought it would actually work, when your lecturer spent probably more that 80 hours working in this module this term, gave you the opportunity to meet for office hours, to ask any question in person or in email, to have extensions, accommodations, additional time ? When you decided that putting exactly zero second of your time, considered that you were above that - and above other students- and yet we were not able to officially sanction you for it, we had to give you a passing grade, the same passing grade as students who actually made an effort?
Yeah, sorry, you are not getting any sympathy from your lecturers anymore.
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mit0bee · 10 months
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Twisted Wonderland boys with an S/O who's afraid of bugs (me too)
Did I literally just post 5 minutes ago? yes. am i posting again? yes. Stuff you should read: Bulleted HC's because i dont feel like writing an essay like i did with floyds tent hc, no beta we die like men, mention of multiple types of bugs Characters: Leona Kingscholar, Malleus Draconia, Trey Clover, Jamil Viper, Vil Schoenheit, Epel Felmier, Sebek Zigvolt, Floyd Leech
(can be read as platonic but i did write it with a romantic relationship in mind)
LEONA KINGSCHOLAR
Leona literally came running into the room thinking you had died or smthn, but no. you were screaming, standing on his bed....all over a small cockroach.
Bro actually sighed. like, a super big sigh, one that youd only get from a dissapointed mother while he stomped on the bug.
"Seriously, Herbivore? You took care of multiple overblots, but a single cockroach gets you all worked up?"
hes grinning so hard. youd want to punch him with how hard hes grinning.
all hes thinking is about the amount he can tease you about this
but, yes. he does get rid of the bug.
unless he was sleeping. then he forces asks ruggie to do it nicely.
MALLEUS DRACONIA
implodes the bug.
im not kidding.
he literally goes full on oceangate on that bug and implodes it
you didnt even have time to properly freak out before the bug was wiped off the face of the earth
"tsunotarou what was that sound?"
"nothing light of my life" *hiding bug corpse*
"are you sure bc i thought i saw a bug"
"nope. no bugs here? should we buy some bug repellant to ease your mind?"
".....no its okay."
you knew he somehow killed the bug.
and it only made you love him even more than you already do.
TREY CLOVER
catches the bug for you and lets it outside.
unlike the first two, he tries his best not to kill the bug.
he pulls the "how would you feel if i stomp on you and kill you?"
"if you killed me while i was a bug i'd thank you"
"you'd be dead, [name]."
"....id thank you from the grave."
he just sighs and shakes his head
probably convinces riddle to let him put anti-bug measures around heartslaybul for you (it didnt take much convincing riddle hates bugs too)
JAMIL VIPER
screams with you
probably set ramshackle on fire more than once while visiting you
you both have to call kalim or adeuce to come exterminate the single cockroach on the ground
again, that one tik tok sound where its like
"YOU KILL THE BUG, YOURE THE MAN!"
"SINCE WHEN."
thats a daily interaction between the two of you
if it happened at scarabia, he'd stay at ramshackle for the next month
literally would abandon kalim (or if he really cant be trusted he'd just bring kalim with him to make sure he didn't cause any problems)
VIL SCHOENHIET
screams with you x2
isn't as dramatic as jamil, but he definitely freaks out about it too.
about the bugs? no. about the bug bites.
again, youd have to call someone to save the both of you so you dont pass tf out and die while he gets eaten alive by a fruit fly
wym fruit flies dont bite? you cant be too cautious.
somehow always has bug repellant with him in the warm seasons
hes prepared and will NOT get any bug bites
EPEL FELMIER
zero reaction, or has a positive one.
"what in tarnation do you mean you hate bugs?! they help with fertilizer blah blah blah blah blah blah (i dont know farming stuff)!"
you have to CONVINCE him to get rid of the bugs, but he'll eventually cave and do it just for you
if you ask him to put up anti-insect measures he'd look at you like youre crazy
"[name]. bugs are actually really good for our ecosystem. back at home we always had to take care of the bugs, or else our crops would die."
"shut up. please. ily, but i cant deal with these bugs."
"okay okay okay fine"
will reluctantly set them up
overall a 4/10 for bug measures he will do it just not unless you beg
SEBEK ZIGVOLT
yells.
not in fear, but in anger because how DARE such a miniscule thing try to terrify the people he cares about?!
doesnt explode it like malleus
but strikes it with lightning.
yk his dorm card groovy? thats what hes doing to a little centipede.
expects you to praise him for protecting you
sure, its a given that he would, but he would very much so appreciate your thanks, and maybe a head pat or smthn
give him one.
now.
FLOYD LEECH
like trey, he lets the bug free
sometimes.
other times he kills it and chases you with the corpse
or keeps it alive and chases you with the living bug
if you REALLYYYYYYYYYY dont like bugs, like straight up sobbing, freaking out, then he wont but otherwise? have fun bro
someone has to seperate you two when you see a bug, because he will do something
sometimes if he's feeling generous he wont do anything and you'll be like "tf? what did you do to be so nice?"
"cant i just be generous towards my shrimpy?"
"no."
".....yeah i almost grilled grim thinking he was food."
"you WHAT."
all of this because of a simple bug
oh to be young and in love ----------------------- m.list @mit0ee 's work, please do not steal!
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ineffable-suffering · 6 months
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The Jane Austen Ball and why it was never about Nina and Maggie
Otherwise known as (*takes a deep breath*): A completely inflated close-up look at various dialogues and events of Season 2 that prove that the Whickber Street Traders and Shopkeeper's Association Meeting Cotillion Ball was supposed to be Aziraphale's confession to Crowley
Look, the point's been made before but that's never kept me from making it myself again, still. In fact, even I made it before, at the end of one of my other metas. But I feel like it's absolutely worthy enough to get its own soppy, way-too-long post. And I do love it so very much to write ridiculously long essays on something that could easily be condensed into a short paragraph.
So, here we go! Snuggle up, get cozy, settle in and, most importantly:
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(Word count: 3.177 | Reading time: ~13 minutes)
As I already said above, I laid out a similar case in my meta about why Aziraphale is somewhat of an unreliable narrator. I'll try and recycle it here briefly, so I can further make my point.
When Aziraphale arrives back in London from his Edinburgh journey, he seems oddly happy and giddy for the fact that he just had a rather odd and threatening encounter with Shax. I explain in my other meta that this is because he just spent the last hours of his drive reminiscing on the thrilling and romantic magic show adventure of 1941 and also the fact that he just found out that Crowley has been replaced by Shax and no longer works for Hell.
Ergo: We have a hopelessly lovesick Principality at our hands, who's practically swooning over his serpent who saved him, his books and his magic show all those years ago.
Ergo:
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✨This✨
Realistically, Aziraphale should probably be a tad worried about the eery encounter with Shax, in which she definitely had the upper hand on him. But well, if you spend many-a hours driving across the serene countryside (Edinburgh is about an 8-hour drive from London), pondering on one of the craziest, sticky-sweet romantic adventures of your not-life life, well ... things tend to turn a little rosy around the edges. Head in the clouds and all that. Light shades of grey!
Alright, onwards: Once the angel, filled to the very brim with fond memories and butterflies, gets out of the Bentley, he's kindly met with a face full of verdant plants and a very in-character-grumpy Crowley.
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Fhwack! Way to burst the rosy bubble.
Seriously, the absolute lightning speed with which Crowley storms out to vacate the bookshop the very second Aziraphale arrives makes me giggle every time.
Let's make a first small (who am I kidding) diversion into analysing the following conversation in unnecessary detail ...
... simply because I enjoy quoting dialogue as an accurate reference in my metas. I'll also highlight certain passages I want to comment on in individual colours so I can back up my thoughts with them below. Alright, their little chinwag goes as follows:
Crowley: "They you are! I was worried something might have happened to you." Aziraphale: "No, nothing happened to me. Very uneventful journey indeed. No strange things at all." Crowley: "Good. That's what we wanna hear." Aziraphale: "Um .. everything okay with- ah.." *nods to the bookshop* Crowley: "Oh, yeah, fine. He's singing to himself. I think he must have been asleep. I heard snoring coming from his bedroom–" Crowley, to the Bentley: "Did you miss me? I bet you did." Aziraphale: "... I'm sure it did." Crowley: "So, any more clues from the mystery of the missing archangel?" Aziraphale: "Not exactly. Or, if there are, I haven't yet cracked the case. But I'm certainly hot on the trail of something." Crowley: "I'm sure you are. Oh, by the way, the whole sudden rain and awning thing was a complete washout." Aziraphale: "Sorry?" Crowley: "You know, project making Nina fall in love with Maggie. I failed, it's your go." Aziraphale: "I see. Well then, Whickber Street Traders and Shopkeeper's Association Monthly Meeting, here we come!" Crowley: "You're really hosting the meeting?" Aziraphale: "Absolutely! And I can guarantee you, it will be a night to remember."
At first glance, this has little to do with the plot of this meta but actually, it folds into my point very nicely! However, it's not time for that yet, so we'll just state the facts as they are for now and then bring them back 'round later when we need them. That being said: For the love of Someone, will these two ever manage to simply tell each other the truth of what happened instead of thinking they can protect each other by lying about it all the time? Hrmpf. As a big fan of open communication myself, I'm close to developing a stomach ulcer with the amount of false truths being spewed here. (Then again – and yes, that is another, way larger meta I'm currently cooking up – it plays so very perfectly into the whole Jane-Austen-Pride-and-Prejudice tragic miscommunication theme that this entire Season has, so I understand the point of it.)
Very uneventful journey indeed, Aziraphale, except for the fact that you were ambushed by a demon who told you she was Crowley's successor, knows about the rumors of the two of you being an item as well as what went down in 1941 (that almost had both of you exposed) and also seems to have figured out where you and your demon boyfriend are hiding Gabriel, all in the span of about a minute. No strange things at all, nooo!
And Crowley's "Oh yeah, fine" is a total lie too. Again, we see him make an absolute run for it before Aziraphale can even enter the bookshop. After all, he just once again witnessed Jim have a Gabriel-flashback, speaking of the Second Coming, while Crowley was alone with him. As fumingly angry he is with the amnesiac archangel – he's also absolutely terrified of what might happen (to him and Aziraphale) should Jim regain his memories. So, no wonder he's quick to vacate the premises after witnessing Jim's rather eery memory flashback (and was, just like Aziraphale, threatened by Shax mere moments later, lol).
But no, nothing out of the ordinary happened to either of them. Tip-top. Absolutely tickety-fucking-boo.
Alright, let's get back on track with the actual topic of this meta. Certainly hot on the trail of something, hm? At first glance, it might seem like Aziraphale is talking about the fact that Gabriel was in company of someone whenever he went to the Resurrectionist Pub. (The clue!) However, I don't actually think he is talking about that. Why? Because, and this slipped my mind too at first, he never actually follows any of this information up, does he? Yes, sure, he went to Edinburgh, found the capital-c Clue and then returned to London. But what does he do with it? Nothing. He doesn't keep investigating this hot trail because that's not the important thing he realized during his journey. No, the more important clue Aziraphale found during his trip, is that Crowley no longer works for Hell and that he is also very much irrevocably in love with him and must confess this at the earliest given chance. (The latter part isn't necessarily a new discovery for Aziraphale, but it surely is fuelled by the fact that he just realized Crowley's out of a Hellish job and simply hasn't told him yet.)
This exchange just the perfect indicator for the fact that Aziraphale, at no point during his drive back, was thinking about the Maggie and Nina mission. He has no idea what Crowley is talking about once he mentions it and seems surprised, even, that he would. Even though they just talked about it on the phone when Aziraphale was still at the graveyard. Which is another important piece of evidence because it means that the last status update Aziraphale got of Mission Lovebirds, was that Crowley had sensed an opportunity to make them fall in love – and had then hung up on him. Why is this important? Because it means that until that very point of their conversation, Aziraphale did not know that Crowley's attempt had failed! There would have been just as much of a chance of Crowley's weather miracle actually working out and Maggie and Nina already having skipped into the sunset happily ever after.
So, riddle me this:
Why would Aziraphale spend the entire ride back from Edinburgh plotting "a night to remember" (because clearly, he already had the entire Ball planned out down to a T in his head since he goes into action right away after arriving) if he didn't even know yet that Crowley's attempt had failed?
To be very clear here: We're not talking about Aziraphale driving on the M1 to London, having a silly little idea for putting on some good music, miracle-ing Nina and Maggie to dance to it and watch them confess their love–
No.
He planned an entire actual Cotillion Ball with very particular location design that involves re-arranging the entire bookshop, specifically designed individual outfits for (almost) every single attendee, topped off with a live band, hors-d'œuvre, drinks and an actual choreographed group dance.
During one car ride.
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Where's the party planner Aziraphale AU? I'm waiting!
Now, sure, we know that it's still quite important for Aziraphale to convince Heaven of the faux-reason they gave for their accidental ✨25-Lazarii miracle✨. But if we're all honest, this all seems to be a tad much just to make two random humans fall in love, even for that.
Glittery ball gowns and suits? Red and gold wall curtains? A modified language filter? Bloody vol-au-vents?
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Talk about over the top ...
Once we start S2E5, Crowley is still surprised at the mere fact that Aziraphale is actually planning to organize the Monthly Meeting – and he doesn't even know yet that it's gonna be the most extravagant ball-boogaloo that the Whickber Street Community has ever seen! Aziraphale wanting to organize the meeting alone, is enough to render Crowley incredulous, because Aziraphale never mingles with the other shopkeepers. He usually actively avoids them and any sort of social encounters as much as he can because he doesn't care about the bloody Christmas lights, alright?
These things seem mundane and uninteresting to him, obviously, since all he really cares about is hoarding his book collection in peace like the little hedonist he is and drawing as little attention as possible to his none-business business.
Oh, right, speaking of books:
Let's take another unnecessarily detailed look at the whole Whickber Street invitation scene:
Aziraphale realizes very quickly that he's not the only one who's quite unenthusiastic about the blessed Chritsmas lights. And despite his very persuasive methods of temptation ...
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... he has to take some more drastic measurements. And those are?
That's right: Giving away his books.
I'll repeat it again, slowly: Aziraphale is willingly (!) giving away or lending his books to pretty much complete strangers to, allegedly, make two other humans strangers fall in love.
Seriously, who is that angel and what has he done with our prim, fussy, hedonistic Aziraphale that protects his books with the vice grip of an eagle carrying his precious prey?
Believe in the importance of Mission Lovebirds as much as you will, but we're talking about Mr. A.Z. Fell here who, over the past millennia, has pretty much spent every day actively working out methods to stop people from purchasing as much as a single paperback from his holy shelves.
And yet: the 1965 September Dr. Who Annual? Given away. The first edition of Expert at the Card Table that was S. W. Erdnase's personal copy? Lent away to grubby human hands to fondle around with.
Let's do another coloured dialogue diversion (don't worry, it's not as extensive as the last one):
Crowley: "You just did what I think you did?" Aziraphale: "I'm not prepared to talk about it." Crowley: "You gave away a book." Aziraphale: "I had to! Maggie and Nina are depending on me. They just don't know it yet."
Crowley backs up my point: This is a huge deal. Aziraphale does not sell his books – let alone give them away for free. We're all shocked! Flabbergasted!
And the explanation Crowley and us get just ... doesn't satisfy. Something and someone sure is depending on this Ball and doesn't know it yet. But it's most definitely not Maggie and Nina, folks.
You know for whom Aziraphale would give away his books in the blink of an eye, though?
Mhm, that's right.
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This pretty old serpent.
I want to take a minute to show you the reaction again that Aziraphale has upon entering the very same magic shop him and Crowley went to in 1941 to acquire the Bullet Catch:
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You ... you need a minute there, angel? You're sure looking a little ... affected.
And I mean, well, no wonder. He reminisced about that very memory four hours last night. To him, this shop is where the most turbulent, ecstatic, adrenaline-fuelled and romantic night of his life began. And it shows.
I've made my point in my other meta series about how Aziraphale is an incredibly nostalgic character. He romanticizes so many things in his memories – especially the parts that feature Crowley. So, it doesn't surprise me in the slightest that he's once again willing to loosen the tight grip he has on his book collection to get the successor of Will Goldstone's Magic Shop, the shop that started it all for him, to come to his fancy Ball.
As we watch Aziraphale and his little lap dog demon pat around Soho, I'd like to take another second to point out that he goes to seven or more establishments before he even invites Nina.
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... and he only does so because she starts talking to them on the street. Almost like he'd forgotten about it. Why not ask her at the very beginning? To establish whether or not he'd have to book-blackmail her too?
"Perfectly ordinary invitation with no hidden agenda of any kind", except that he's using you and Maggie as a pretence to resolve his own clusterfuck of a relationship-miscommunication Jane-Austen-style so that he can then hopefully confess his undying love to his demon not-boyfriend boyfriend.
Marvellous!
You'll forgive me another short diversion but my God, the whole exchange at the Marguerite's restaurant with Crowley literally cat-call-whistling Aziraphale over to him (and Aziraphale checking if he meant someone else first, I–)? I am weak. So, so weak and
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However, this is also when we get a snippet of Crowley finally revealing the truth in place of his "Oh, he's fine"-lie earlier and telling Aziraphale that he's actually pretty scared Jim might turn back into Gabriel and smite him altogether. And Aziraphale's response is, in a cosmic sense, (remember the pink paragraph now) so hilarious:
"Have you thought of just talking to him?"
Yeah, have you? Have any of the two of you? Just thought about talking? To each other? About anything?
'pparently not. But hey, it's all good because remember what the ultimate remedy for star-crossed lovers simply misunderstanding each other is?
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Bish, bash, bosh, problem solved!
Back at the ballroom bookshop, Aziraphale sends Crowley to invite Maggie in order to, in my opinion, not spoil the Ball-y surprise for him. (Inviting Maggie only now?! Wouldn't she be one of the only two guests who really should attend? Why the short notice? If she's really that important for the Ball you're planning, hm?)
On top of this, we see Nina almost not attending the Ball meeting after her partner broke up with her and Crowley being the one who coincidentally runs into her and ushers her into the bookshop before Shax and her "legion" of demons start creeping up on them. Again, if this hadn't happened by pure coincidence, Nina would have left to go home and this whole Ball would have taken place without her, rendering the apparent sole purpose of making her fall in love with Maggie useless.
Why doesn't Aziraphale care more for both of them to attend and be there? Why is he instead busy fussing over everything looking perfect and wonderful and doesn't even seem to notice that both Nina and Maggie are really late to the meeting?
Well. Well.
The answer's in the title, babes.
Alas, Crowley safely gets Maggie and Nina to join them, Mr. Brown is the only one who doesn't get a miracled outfit (fussy, petty angel, you just don't like him, do you?), Jimbriel stuns with glamour and flirt (and whatever sexually suggestive thing he does with his cheeks) and the Whickber Street Ball is a-go!
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Sorry, I just had to chuck this in again because Crowley's face here absolutely kills me every time. He looks so confused, I am hollering.
And the heart eyes Aziraphale is making at Nina and Maggie now that they're actually here?
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Oh, bless it, angel.
He's all like "Oh look, it's working! Jane was right! It's all going to be resolved, all the misunderstanding and quarrels! Crowley, where's Crowley–"
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Ah yes, there he is.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is an angel who is not listening to a single word being said right now. No, in his head, Aziraphale is already down on one knee, pouring his heart out to Crowley after they just danced the night away.
Oh, yes, right. The dancing.
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Parallel much?
But well, as marvellous and beautifully romantic as her stories tend to be, it turns out that Jane Austen isn't always right after all. Because before we know it, the perfect night shatters into many-a tiny pieces (literally).
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And once again, fhwack:
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... the rosy bubble bursts.
Let's take one more deep breath so I can make my final point:
In S2E2, Aziraphale explains to us very exactly what Jane's Balls (hrhr) used to be about: Solving miscommunication and confessing love to one another.
During his car journey back from Edinburgh, Aziraphale:
doesn't know Crowley's Mission Lovebirds had failed
remembers 1941 and just how badly he's in love with Crowley
and also realizes that they seem to have been wildly miscommunicating for quite some time now. (Crowley didn't even tell him he basically got let go!)
So, what does maddeningly strong love plus a want to resolve all the miscommunication equal? That's right: A night to remember! A Ball to change it all! A dance, a vol-au-vent, a confession. And, ideally, a happy ever after. Because:
“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man angel in possession of a good fortune Jane Austen collection, must be in want of a wife demon husband.”
The Ball was never for Nina and Maggie. As a byproduct, maybe, yes. But the whole rest of the glimmer and glamour, the careful, romantic planning and set up of it all, the book-bating the other shopkeepers– that was for Crowley and Crowley only.
And oh, if only it were as easy as in the books.
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*whispers* I'm sorry, I had to.
***
Your honour, the tinfoil-hat crackpot defence rests. Feel free to share thoughts (and prayers) if you want to!
Au revoir! 💗
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strawberryspence · 1 year
Text
Steve is 19 when Eddie first says it. It's the night Eddie comes home from the hospital, body all bandaged up to help him heal. Steve picks him up, drops him off the brand new trailer and has to say his goodbyes. He's the one who's been staying with Max at the hospital since Lucas started going to school again. Eddie watches, seated on the door, shoulders leaning against the frame.
Eddie waves at him, hand still wrapped protectively on his middle. There's a tired smile on his face, "See you tomorrow, Steve." It's the first time Eddie ever calls him by his first name.
Steve is 20 and Eddie Munson has been saying, "See you tomorrow!" as his goodbye to him since that night. Robin thinks it's for him and for him only. Steve watches Eddie, something he does a lot these days. He watches as he says his goodbye to the kids, says goodbye to Nancy, Robin, Jonathan, Argyle. Eddie never once says the words, "See you tomorrow!"
Steve waits for everyone to be gone, hitching rides from the other older kids. Eddie turns to him when everyone has finally left, "Are you staying, Stevie?"
"No. I am leaving too."
Eddie smiles at him, cheeky and dimpled, brown eyes shimmering like a fucking gem against the cheap yellow fluorescent light, "Well then, see you tomorrow, sweetheart."
It clicks. It's not a goodbye, It's a promise. Eddie will see Steve tomorrow, come hell or high water. A promise made for him, and him only.
Steve pulls Eddie by the lapels of his ridiculously shiny jacket and kisses him straight in the mouth.
Steve is 23 when Eddie and him move in to their first apartment together. It's dingy, kind of old, but hey, it's freaking cheap. They unpack boxes of things that was given by Joyce, Karen, Hop, Mrs. Henderson and Mrs. Sinclair. It's not much but it makes their bare home more livable.
They sleep on the floor with Steve's old mattress laid in the middle of the room, unopened boxes and furniture scattered surrounding them.
It's the first night they sleep together in their first home.
"See you tomorrow, sunshine." Eddie kisses his forehead, his nose and then his lips.
Eddie never says goodnight, just see you tomorrow.
Steve is 25 and it's the first time Eddie won't see him tomorrow. Eddie has to go to New York because Corroded Coffin just got discovered by an agent who wants to sign them.
It's okay. Eddie still calls every night, thank God the time differences of Chicago and New York isn't that big. Steve makes sure Robin isn't using the phone, so Eddie could call and tell him about his day with producers and songwriters and music and Steve can tell him about school essays and presentations for his Education class.
And always, always, just like every night since he was 19, Eddie ends the call with, "See you tomorrow." With whatever name he feels like that day. Sometimes it's sunshine, sometimes it's Stevie, sometimes it's love or baby or sweetheart. It doesn't really matter because it's all Steve.
Sometimes it's not true. Steve doesn't see Eddie the next day. Sometimes it goes on weeks and months on ends before the greeting finally means they get to see each other again.
That's okay. Steve's okay with it because if not tomorrow, he knows he'll still see Eddie again.
Steve is 34 when he hears Eddie say the greeting to someone else for the first time. Adoption is exhausting and repetitive and long and grueling but in the end— with a tiny little baby, cradled right against your arm— it's perfect.
Kids are always a mess. Steve knows because he has seven of them already, all grown up, all spread out in the country, all doing things on their own. And it's exhausting and takes out so much energy from you and your partner.
But with Eddie, all the weariness in his bones dissipate at the image of him, rocking their child on a rocking chair, humming a soft song as he finally tells them, "See you tomorrow, peanut."
Steve is 47 when Eddie and him finally get married. Joyce and Robin plan the wedding and as ridiculous as it sounds, they separate the two of them the night before. Steve rolls his eyes, kisses his groom on the cheek and waits for Eddie to say the four magic words.
"See you tomorrow, fiancé." Eddie whispers against his lips.
They get married the next day, under the bright beaming sun, spring flowers surrounding them as their daughter reluctantly spreads flowers for them.
Steve thinks he's heard so many variations of the greeting, but, "See you tomorrow, husband." might be his favorite from all of them.
Steve is 54 and it's the first time Eddie doesn't say it to him before going to bed. They both silently slip into the bed together, hands intertwined together like the other will float away if they let go.
Apparently being tortured and experimented with half of your childhood has some bad outcomes. It's the day they find out that El has a brain tumor.
Steve is 56 and the Party sleeps beside him and Eddie, tucked into each other like they're 15 again. The last time the Party had a sleepover was in 2000. They still all have sleepovers, don't get him wrong. What Steve means is the sleepover where they're all squished together on the floor, clinging onto each other as they sleep soundly, knowing they're safe and sound with their friends.
They have a sleep over just like that one last time.
"See you tomorrow. I love you." Eddie whispers, just as he falls asleep.
The expired eggos in their fridge gets thrown out six months later.
Steve is 65 when he gets to meet their first grandchild. Eddie is adamant that he is not crying, but his glasses make his tears more visible, making them look like actual diamonds coming out of his eyes.
Their daughter laughs, and lets them hold him for the first time. Steve is a blabbering mess of tears, holding the baby close to his chest. They stay the whole night, to help take care of the baby and their daughter.
And there's nothing more beautiful than the moment the nurse has to take their grandchild away from their daughter and she whispers, as gentle as a feather, "See you tomorrow, Ellie."
Steve is 73 when Eddie first forgets to say goodnight. It's Alzheimer's, it's—
It's not okay. It's never going to be okay. But Steve has to be okay, has to carry on for the love of his life. He takes care of Eddie, because he vowed to do so the day they got married, because he loves this man and he will do anything for him.
Steve tucks Eddie at night, after fits of confusion as to where he is, as to who he is, and kisses his forehead, soft and gentle, and says, "See you tomorrow, Eds."
Steve is 82 when he hears it for the last time.
Eddie's health has been declining. Nine years after his first prognosis, Steve takes it as a win, nine years and his love still battles it everyday.
They've been living in a nursing home, Steve is also getting too old to take care of Eddie. His bones are weary in ways that never goes away, his sight and hearing has always been bad but time has made it worst.
There's something called terminal lucidity. The doctors explain to Steve, in the most gentle way he's ever heard, "You're husband will probably, theoretically, have a moment of clarity where he remembers everything and it will seem like you have him back, but for us it is the sign of his health declining further. I am sorry, Mr. Munson."
Eddie gets it a few days later, and they talk nonstop. They talk about the kids, their grandchildren, about their friends, about how they've lived their lives. They open up photo albums, and point and laugh and smile and cry. Steve excuses himself to go to the bathroom, but only so he can call the others, so they could say their goodbyes. The kids fly in, from all around the country, to say goodbye.
Eddie goes a few hours later, warm and comfortable in his bed, cuddled next to Steve with a big dopey smile on his face, "See you tomorrow, Steve."
Steve smiles back, as Eddie closes his eyes. He stops fighting the ache in his bones, the never-ending beat in his scars.
"See you tomorrow, Eddie."
Steve doesn't see Eddie the next day, not the next, not the next, not the nex—
Until, he finally sees Eddie again.
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incorrectbatfam · 1 year
Note
The most beloved english/ lit teacher at Park Row High, Mr Todd who inspires many many student is Red Hood. I just think Jason will make am excellent teacher and will really love the job.
All I hear is "give me teacher Jason headcanons" so here you go
Besides English, he also teaches a weekend driving class where he lets teenagers take turns parallel parking the Batmobile
His teacher voice isn't too different from normal (compared to other teachers) but it's noticeable—and more importantly, effective. He confiscates someone's phone at the movies when they wouldn't quit texting
For Jason, the "other duties as assigned" include refilling the soap in the boys bathroom and hanging a rainbow flag on the conservative history teacher's door
He also subs for that same teacher and says "everything you've been learning is wrong" before speedrunning the entire other half of American history
Most kids know him as the cool younger teacher who they can earnestly talk to, but every year there's one person who will treat him like he has one foot in the grave
He records his classes and his TA captions everything. Key word: everything
He starts the countdown to the last day of school on the first day of school
Red Hood discovers a restaurant acting as a front for money laundering but instead of taking them down, he lets them go on one condition. Cue the week-long pizza party at school
He once had a student walk in late because they went to Wal-Mart for a Mountain Dew
His hall pass is a dull batarang with "mrs tods hal pas" written in nail polish
Grading essays is either "this kid is the next Austen" or "please never touch a keyboard again"
Before the students turn their quizzes in, Jason asks each and every one of them, "Did you do the other side?"
Jason makes a copy of the janitor's keys and disables the security cameras so one of his students can sleep in the classroom after she was evicted. Red Hood also sweeps the halls to make sure there aren't any D-list Rogues squatting
Once a month the lesson is just naptime. He turns off the lights and tells them to go to sleep
If someone can solve Jason's Monday riddle then they don't have to do homework for a week. In unrelated news, the Riddler is apprehended after Red Hood decodes a series of cryptic clues
One kid told him "You're so old you look like you already died"
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pixelchills · 11 days
Text
Chill's ramblings about the DCA fandom and personal feelings and issues towards TSAMS (both positive an negative):
(I'm writing this like an essay but treating it like a diary, so if I jump from subject to another, it is because I am just typing as the thoughts hit my head. Sorry for being so wordy.)
I simply feel like I need to write my thoughts down, so why not share them with you. Maybe you can validate my feelings or something, I don't know.
Intro:
So, oof, I got a fic rec from @thedenofravenpuff and I'm loving it so much I really wanna draw fan art for it...
But the problem is that it's a TSAMS fanfic and I've sworn to my name I'll never draw anything related to the show because that will make me engage with a part of the fandom I'm not comfortable with.
My biggest issue with TSAMS:
I have such complicated feelings towards the show and its fanbase and I do not wish to make my life and work more difficult because of it as it already is.
My own work and characters are already constantly being compared to TSAMS. When I first introduced Solar to my fic, he was constantly being referred to Eclipse from TSAMS. Now that the show had a character with THE SAME NAME, it has been even worse.
Dolldrop Moon has been compared to Lunar. Even though the dolldrops existed before the youtube channel was even created (and Lunar made his debut much later).
The biggest issue I've had has always been the fanbase, that takes the show as the canon for Sun and Moon from FNAF and uses it as an excuse to harass shippers like me because they think Sun and Moon are brothers.
I've first handedly seen the damage the fanbase has done to some of my friends who draw, or have previously drawn art for the show besides their own AUs and personal headcanons of Sun and Moon as lovers. I'm sorry to tag you, but @kriimhild and @fablekitty : I've seen how the immature side of the show's fans have treated you, I am so terribly sorry you've had to defend yourselves over and over again for things that were not meant to be mixed up.
I have posted some ideas of a possible Animutant Moon and Sun forming a polyamorous relationship with Solar in the future of "My Dear Daffodil" on my personal/adult Twitter account. Someone kept commenting on my posts that I was glorifying incest, because Sun and Moon were brothers and Solar was their cousin.
The post had "Animutant" in it. Not "TSAMS". These comments came from a person saying they were 19 in their profile. So it's not just kids who can't tell not every fanwork is about TSAMS. It's starting to be some adults too.
Vice versa I've had another person comment on my very clearly SFW Twitter how they're following me because I am an adult artist who draws TSAMS incest. I have never drawn TSAMS art. I ship Sun and Moon, but they're never related with family bond, because I love presenting them as lovers.
Why I ship Sun and Moon:
Because I am a hopeless romantic. I love romantic love. Every single story I write is always about love.
The only exception to this is the Poppy Playtime comic I am doing. But even then, I was originally planning for a romantic love between Dogday and the Player. Yet, I decided to leave it, and keep the relationship open for any type of representation the reader themselves will prefer.
I used to watch The Sun and Moon Show when it first started airing. I loved their playthroughs. I had a big distaste for them calling each other brothers, as well as some of the first "lore" videos they had. My biggest issue at the time was how Moon treated Sun, though. As someone who grew up with an abusive sibling, it sometimes just hit a bit too hard at home.
But it got better after Eclipse and Lunar appeared. Moon was more caring, and I started to really like his character development. There was one episode where Sun explained to Lunar that he and Moon had simply just "decided" to be brothers, despite not having a canonical relationship.
This actually made me really happy. Because the Old Moon was aroace, the love he felt was simply never meant to be romantic, but platonic. And by making Sun his brother by choice clearly indicated that Sun was always the one he loved the most - in a way that was suitable for aromantic person like him.
And it really made me enjoy the show for a while. Sun is my favourite character, and despite not always liking the way the show presents him, I always feel so much love for him, no matter the AU he is in. So I loved that Moon loved him more than anything, even if it was just platonic. Because I've always been under the impression that the canon Moon loves Sun, and is only under a virus to protect him. For me, the best part of any Sun and Moon AU is to know that Sun is the most important thing to Moon.
Why I stopped watching TSAMS:
And then that Moon I had really started to like, who loved Sun more than anyone else but just platonically, died.
It hurt so much I simply stopped watching the show. I've watched a few episodes here and there after that, but I am having a hard time liking the show the same as I did before.
Partially it's because of the fanbase. Partially it's because I don't find the lore very interesting and some of the stuff a bit repetitive. Partially it's because I am scared to see Sun eventually crumble up into madness, because he has been through so much.
I like the New Moon. He is funny and nice, what I've seen. His relationship with Solar has been interesting, and I genuinely hoped they would've been able to take the romantic route after Moon said he wasn't sure if he was aroace anymore. But as I said, I've only watched a few episodes after the old Moon died, so I don't know either of their characters that much to form any strong opinions about them. I just listen to the Monty and Puppet podcast once in a while and get a little inside to some of the lore that has been happening.
But hey, at least there's fanfics. Which is why I am rambling here today.
Fanfics:
It is a rare treat to find Sun x Moon fanfics that aren't simply just porn, or do not include reader inserts. So since my romance-filled brain needed something to fill the void, I've started reading some TSAMS fics with romance (that wasn't between Sun & Moon) and plot in them.
I know Solar was settled to be a "cousin" to the weird family tree of TSAMS. But I simply crave for Solar and New Moon to be at least queerplatonic. Solar is not from their dimension, no matter how much they decide they're 'cousins' it doesn't make him their real cousin or relative because they're not from the same world.
Sun and Moon are brothers but they technically gave birth to Eclipse, who then created Lunar so Eclipse is technically Lunar's parent and then brother and Lunar is Sun and Moon's brother and... do you see what I'm trying to say?
The family tree is so complicated that I don't think I'm a horrible person for shipping Moon and Solar and reading fics about them. Tell me if I am wrong though.
The FIC that is making me question everything:
So Puffy recommended this fic by @theinfamousdoctorf , "Eclipse Meets His Match".
I'm currently on chapter 40, and I am genuinely surprised how much I am liking this fic so far. It got everything; redemption and character growth, the representation of Sun as the good, glowing angel he is in my mind (for canon, and every AU. He is always perfect in my eyes I love him can you tell lol), slow-burn romance, drama, excitment, plot, jokes and funny moments... even if there are a lot of mentions of sex and sexual pleasure, it doesn't feel out of the place as there is so much more to it too.
Eclipse's redemption to become better and realising he is in love with Sun has been so interesting to follow. Sun deserves the love. I love when Sun is getting loved. I literally ship him with every other animatronic in the games and love it when people ship him with their self-inserts and OCs. Because I love him so much I want him to be loved in every possible universe he is in.
Even bigger bonus to this fic is the second pairing, Solar and Moon, which I already opened up about above. I don't know how much the fic is truthful to the canon lore of the show, but I wish to pretend this fic is the canon now /hj.
I love the characters and how they're written. I love the descriptions of their flaws and hopes and dreams. How vulnerable they can get. How closely they stick together. And as an appreciation for making me tearful and excited about fanfiction in such a long time, I would hope to be able to gift the author some fan art for their fic.
But I've sworn to not draw anything for the show. For my own good. I've got too many awful comments already from the fans of the show despite never doing any art for it. I am just scared it will turn things worse.
End words:
I don't know if creating a new alias would be the right choice. So my main name/account would be spared from the confusion that the show's fans seem to stirr into, where one tsams artwork turns all of the artist' work into tsams.
I don't care if the art style would be recognisible. The artist would be me, but not PixelChills. Just so I could gift something to the author of this fic that is currently saving me from the boredom of being unable to write my own.
Thank you.
(This text has been typed on my phone, so pardon for any typos).
-Chill
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radioactiveparker · 16 days
Text
The Breakfast Club - Eddie Munson X F!Cheerleader!Reader
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Part Two - Low Tolerance For Dehydration
Chapter Summary - We begin to learn the truth about why these kids are the way they are. (A retelling of The Breakfast Club, written and directed by John Hughes.)
Chapter Warnings - Characters are all 18+ / Strong Language / Illusions to Abuse/ Abusive Relationship / Dysfunctional Families / Kleptomania / References to Religious Beliefs / Sexual References / Drug References / Stereotyping / Angst
Word Count - 7.2k
(Series Masterlist) (Masterlist)
(Part One)
-----
Saturday.
October 25th, 1984.
Hawkins High Library.
10:30am.
~~~~~
After that rather thrilling event courtesy of Eddie Munson and Principal Higgins, the next two hours went on forever.
The grinding of gears, the hum of the electric motor, and the movement of the clock's hands invaded the silence. The second hand made a rapid clicking sound. You counted each one. At twenty-second intervals, the minute hand squeaked. The clock sounds became the percussion for a lullaby that almost lulled you to sleep.
Eddie remained seated next to you, spending the better part of an hour sulking that he had just wrecked the rest of his winter. The rest of the time, he spent scratching markings into the table with his car keys (which you immediately told him to stop out of annoyance. He ignored you, of course) and counting all the pictures he can see in the medullary rays of the wood. In his mind, he connected the lines and dots. Before his eyes, they formed the crude outline of a shapely woman with her legs rudely spread apart. He used the notebook paper to cover it up. He did not want to spend the next five and a half hours with a boner he couldn't get rid of. Especially one given to him by something as ridiculous as an imaginary table lady.
Steve was lazily picking off the fuzz of a tennis ball that he found in the lost and found box behind the front desk, piling it up in a small illuminous heap. The bald patches reminded him of principal Higgin's round, balding head. He picked at it harder, really digging his fingernails into the stringy felt like it had personally offended him.
Nancy was trying to write her paper. Normally, the undisturbed silence would be prime time to work on an essay, but she began staring off into space, her mind wondering. All she had managed to write was a title 'Who Am I?', her name, the date, and the time. Each time she would bring herself back to reality, she would check her watch, then erase the time and write the new one. 
Robin was hunched over, hidden in her hair as she scribbled over her cherry red converse. She wrote whatever came to mind; her name, milk duds, a drawing of the top half of a naked woman, a copy of her fingerprint. She kept going until the red had almost disappeared.
You rested your head in your palms, eyes looking up as you counted the tiles on the ceiling. You got to thirty eight when Eddie nudged you. You opened your mouth to scold him for making you lose count, when he slid a sheet of paper over to you. He'd drawn a tic-tac-toe grid and placed an X in the centre square. You grabbed a pencil and drew a circle in the top right corner, deciding to keep him entertained before he starts causing more trouble. He smiled cutely when you slid the paper back to him. 
The two of you played until both sides looked like a gingham tea towel. Much to your distaste, you lost 38 - 43. Eddie pulled tongues as the victor and you decided then to never play tic-tac-toe with Eddie again; you didn't want his head getting bigger than it already was.
The library door swung open and Principal Higgins stood with a scowling face.
"All right. Who has to go to the rest room?"
All hands shot up. 
Higgins gave a single nod, signalling that everyone could get out of their seats. You groaned in relief when your spine cracked, though you still had pins and needles in your left foot and your butt was numb from sitting on it for too long. The Principal lead you all down the hall to the restrooms, where he unlocked them with a jingling of keys.
"Two minutes for the boys. Three minutes for the girls." He stared at his watch like he was already starting the count down.
"How come they get an extra minute?" Eddie complained, pointing at the group of girl who all had their arms crossed, looking at him like the answer was obvious.
"Try and remember your biology, Munson." Principal Higgins rolled his eyes, still staring at his watch.
"Oh, right. Does that mean Harrington gets another minute?"
Annoyed, Steve pushed through into the bathroom. Eddie followed behind, laughing manically. 
The two of them rarely used the schools restroom, even for Eddie who was kind of a slob, they were too disgusting. Students only ever really used them to hide when skipping classes. The walls were covered in graffiti and a few of the tiles were cracked, and there was always something on the floor that made the bottom of their shoes sticky. They didn't even want to try to guess what it was. Steve stood in front of the urinal and unzipped his jeans. Eddie hopped onto the countertop and fished through his hair to retrieve the cigarette from behind his ear.
"You want one?"
Steve took a peek behind him. "Oh yeah, ten of 'em please. I need to prove I'm a man."
"Whatever man." That was the last time Eddie would offer Steve anything ever again.
He fumbled in his pocket, took out a lighter and lit his cigarette.
Meanwhile, the state of the girls bathroom wasn't much better. The floors were less sticky, but there was always tissue all over the place, and a funny smell in the air.
"Is this a drag, or what?" You looked at your tired eyes in the reflection and started complaining about them to the girls. 
Nancy rummaged through her purse, pulling out perfume bottles, make-up, compacts, brushes; an incredible amount of things that she probably didn't need. Nancy very helpfully let you borrow the make-up out of her bag. You were looking as good as new in no time.
"You want one?" Robin pulled out a pack of spearmint gum and stuck one in her mouth.
You looked at her repulsed. "Robin, you can't eat in the bathroom. What if you get VD of the mouth or something!"
She paused like she hadn't thought about that. She quickly walked to the sink and washed her hands. She grabbed a paper towel to dry them and then used it to open the door. She held the door open with her foot, wadded up the paper towel and made a three pointer into the waste bin. A shot that even Steve would find impressive, even if she did surprise herself making it in the first place. She didn't show that though. 
"You're into washing your hands, but you eat inches away from a live toilet?" 
She gave you an offended glare her, and left the bathroom, letting the door close on you and Nancy. You turned to Nancy and gave her a look that said 'I'm not crazy for thinking that am I?'. 
"I mean that was a little disgusting, but you could have worded it a bit nicer."
She walked out, leaving you wondering whose side she was on.
"I didn't mean to upset you." You called after Robin. "I was just reacting to something I thought was seriously weird. I mean, I'll listen if you needed some one to talk to about it." 
Robin didn't give you the time of day, just rolled her eyes to herself. She didn't appreciate the way you worded your apology; like she was the one with the problem.
"Let's go. Shake it off!" Higgins called into the boys bathroom.
Even with the extra minute you were given, the girls still managed to be done before the boys. Eddie opened the door, smelling strongly of tobacco.
"Where's Harrington?"
"Drowned." Eddie said bluntly.
The Principal crossed to the door and peaked his head in. "Alright, Harrington, c'mon. Lets go!"
Steve made a few final adjustments to his hair, raking his fingers through it to position his chestnut curls perfectly on his head. Principal Higgins dragged him out before he could finish.
~~~~~
11:30am
~~~~~
You laid across three chairs as some sort of make shift bed and tucked your coat underneath your head for a pillow. You had planned to take a nap, but Nancy had decided to sharpen her pencil. The winding and grinding of the sharpener grated your ears. She knew she was making a lot of noise, but she couldn't seem to get a good point on her pencil. She took it out of the sharpener, blew the dust from the tip, and examined it before shoving it back in. She had three quarters left of her pencil.
Steve had a straight leg on the front table and reached over to touch his toes, stretching his hamstring. How he did it in those jeans was beyond you. His little grunts of effort and heavy breaths as he switched legs annoyed you almost as much as Nancy's sharpening. Robin was in her same seat, picking at her black, chipped nails in her lap and chewing her gum loudly out of spite. How you had gone from sitting in hours of silence, to a sudden ruckus when you wanted to sleep was just your luck. 
Eddie had chosen to sit in front of you on the table, ripping out pages of textbooks from the history section. 
Nancy winced at each tear. "What are you doing?"
"What does it look like I'm doing, Princess? I'm vandalising public property." He said it like it was obvious, loudly ripping another page to emphasise his point. "You get off on being stupid, or something?"
"You're such a waste."
Eddie placed the book gently on the table, giving it a few taps for good measure. He sat up straight, hands on his knees like a teachers pet. He nodded sarcastically in agreement. "You're absolutely right. It's wrong to destroy literature. It's such fun."
He jumped down off the desk, kicking up loose pages as he stalked over to his next victim: the card files. He pulls out the entire draw completely and lugged it back over to his spot on the desk. The unexpected slam of it on the table startled you, and you sat up with a huff. There was no way you were getting sleep any time soon.
Nancy scoffed as he began yanking the catalogue cards out and putting them back in a random order, creating a horrible mess for someone to sort out later. She continued to grind the sharpener.
"Big deal." You mocked her, she and the sharpener were really starting to get on your nerves. "It's not like there's anything better to do."
Eddie was impressed. He turned to you. "You grounded tonight?" 
His question threw you off, but you knew there was definitely more to it. "No, why?"
He looked surprised that you weren't, but he didn't know that your parents weren't even aware you were here in the first place. "Reefer Rick is throwing a Halloween party down by Lover's Lake tonight. Wanna come?"
Apparently, all it took was a few games of tic-tac-toe to get into Eddie's good books. There was a part of you that wanted to go. It was another excuse to get away from your parents, but you didn't want to imagine the shit you would get from Carol if she found out you had gone to a party with Eddie 'The Freak' Munson. Then Billy crept back into your mind. Your blood went cold at the thought. You knew he wasn't here, but you expected him to come charging through the doors any second now. You had to make sure he knew you weren't interested in Eddie. You didn't want another repeat of this morning.
"Why would I want to go to that crackhead's place? I'll probably catch a disease."
Eddie looked a little disappointed and a little offended that you had insulted his friend, but he hid it well. So why did you feel kind of bad?
You looked up at him with big eyes. "I mean, my mom doesn't like me going to parties anyway."
"What about your dad?"
"If I do what my mom doesn't want me to it's because my dad says it's okay.  And if I do what my dad doesn't want me to it's because my mom says it's okay. It's like this whole big monster deal. It lasts forever and it's a total drag. It's like any minute: divorce." You hated talking about your parents, but I felt good to get off your chest. Carol and Tommy never cared to ask.
"Who do you like better?"
"Huh?"
"You like your old man better than your mom?"
"They're both screwed." You sighed. You didn't like where this conversation was headed anymore. Nancy had stopped sharpening her pencil and you could feel everyone listening in.
"If you had to pick?"
"I don't know. I mean, they must have loved each other at some point, but I guess I wasn't around for that part. So I don't think any of them really care about me either. They just use me as ammunition in their little wars."
"HA!" Your response had provoked a laugh from Robin. A laugh that let you know she thought you deserved it. She was more offended by that comment in the bathroom than you had thought.
"You're just feeling sorry for yourself." Steve added, shaking out his legs.
You didn't find it very fair that they were ganging up on you all of a sudden. "If I didn't, nobody else would."
"Oh, you're breaking my heart." But Steve didn't sound sincere at all. You weren't enjoying this side of Steve one bit. And it was all because of Billy. 
"Do you get along with your parents?" Eddie sided with you.
"If I say, yes, I'm a real idiot, right?"
"I think you're an idiot anyway. But if you say you get along with your parents, you'll be a liar, too."
"You know something, I've just about had it with you. If we weren't in school, man, I'd wail all over you. They'd have to pick you up with tweezers."
Eddie didn't seem fazed. Eddie got threats like this all the time, it wasn't anything he hadn't already heard before. 
"I don't really get along with my parents." Nancy piped up, trying to get the boys attention away from each other so there wasn't a brawl in the middle of the library.
"Yeah right, you're every parent's wet dream."
"That's the problem." She paused, you saw her eyes glaze over then looked at you. "I don't think my parents ever loved each other either."
Everyone was silent, looking at her like they were waiting for her to burst into tears. She regretted bring it up.
"They must have married for some reason?" Steve asked. Whether it was because he was being nosey, or he was concerned for her, you couldn't tell.
"My mom was younger. My dad was older, but he had a cushy job, money, came from a good family. So they bought a nice house at the end of the cul-de-sac and started their nuclear family."
"Screw that."
"Yeah, screw that."
"I could see you not liking them for making you wear those kind of clothes, but, shit, what else would you be doing if you weren't busy making yourself a better citizen?" Eddie clearly hadn't read the room.
"Why do you have to insult everybody?" Eddie was really pushing Steve's limits. You noticed it happened especially when it came to Nancy.
"I'm being honest, asshole. I'd expect you to know the difference." He said it like he had had a similar argument with Steve in the past.
Nancy raised her middle finger at him. 
"Whoa, obscene gestures from such a pristine girl."
"I'm not that pristine." Nancy argued, though she regretted it almost immediately.
She cleared her throat and make her way back to her seat. 
"Are you a virgin?" She caught Steve's eye, they shared a look, but Eddie missed it. "I'll bet you a million dollars that you are."
"Would you take that bet, Robin?"
"Not really."
"That's the last time I call you 'Robin', Buckley."
He continued. "Have you ever been felt up? Over the bra, under the blouse, shoes off...hoping to God your parents don't walk in?" 
Nancy was getting upset. "Do you want me to puke?"
"Over the panties, no bra, blouse unbuttoned, Calvin's in a ball on the front seat past eleven on a school night?"
You squeezed your thighs together. His voice was deep and masculine, sending you off into an alluring day dream. You found yourself in the back seat of a car, a strong man towering over you, rough hands caressing your soft skin. He takes off your bra, exposing your breasts to the cold air of the night, nipples hardening. He's groping them, kissing them, loving on them. Your moaning and he's trailing his lips lower. Your hands thread themselves in his brown, wavy hair. He's pulling your panties down with his teeth, looking up at you with those big brown eyes of his. And suddenly you were in the back of his van, pulling off his patched, demin jacket until he's leaning over you completely naked. He put his lips to your ear, whispering --
"Hey, why don't you leave her alone!" Steve breaks you out of your imagination.
"You gonna make me?"
"Yeah."
"You and whose army?"
"Just me and five of my fingers. I hit you. You hitting floor. Anytime you're ready."
Eddie realised that Steve was being serious, but doesn't believe he is quite capable of making good on his threat. 
"Yeah? You want a black eye to go with that split lip? You couldn't fight Billy Hargrove, what makes you think you can beat me?"
Your chest tightened at his name and your eyes darted to the door. They stayed shut. It calmed you a little, but your heart was still beating against your ribcage. You placed a hand there in case it burst out. You wondered how Eddie knew about the fight at the party, you hadn't seen him there. But then again, word travels fast around Hawkins High. Your breathing became heavy. All this arguing was making you dizzy. You could do without a repeat of last Thursday.
"Try me."
"Eddie." You pleaded him not to retaliate, swallowing down your pride for a second of peace.
He looked at you, and suddenly Eddie was not in the mood to fight Steve. The fear in your eyes scared him a little. You were serious about them not fighting. But luckily for you, Eddie knew when to stop. Besides, there were ladies present, and he was a gentleman.
To some extent.
 "Whatever man, I'm not getting into this with you."
"Why not?"
"Why not?" He paused. He wasn't going to tell Steve he did it for you. "'Cause I'd kill you. It's real simple, you'd die and your fucking parents would sue me and It'd be a big mess and I don't care enough about you to bother. So drop it."
"Chicken."
"You know, you should see a doctor. I think those steroids are frying your brain."
Steve just laughed him off, believing that he had scared Eddie into yielding and he was just giving one last dig to preserve his pride. Eddie looked a Nancy, but she was already staring at him. 
"What is it that makes you act like such a fool?"
"I'm not getting enough vitamin B."
Steve fumed. He wanted his fist to connect with that smartass mouth of his. "Let's end this right now. You don't talk to her...you don't look at her and you don't even think about her! You understand me?"
"I'm trying to help her." He said it like it was as plain as a pikestaff.
"Help me?" Nancy was insulted. "Why don't you work on yourself?"
"I did. I finished last Tuesday. Now I'm working on the rest of the world." He pointed at Steve, who looked about ready to swing. "I could help you, big boy."
"Spare me."
"I can help a lot of people, all they have to do is ask nicely."
"I'll kill you." Steve threatened with a clenched fist.
Eddie looked unmoved. He heard threats like that at least five times a day. "Well, I should just let you and everyone else who wants to kill me fight for the privilege."
There was a rumbling from beyond the library door. In a flurry of panic, everyone got themselves into position, acting like they hadn't moved an inch away from their seats. Eddie sat next to you again, accidently kicking your foot under the table. You kicked it back in annoyance. He did it again, only on purpose this time. 'What a child' you thought. You put your coat on the back of your chair and sat up straight, expecting Principal Higgins to come storming in.
Everybody visibly relaxed when Carl, the janitor, came rumbling in with his music playing quietly from his radio, dragging his cart behind him. He had a face you didn't quite know how to take; he looked friendly enough, but could turn at the snap of your fingers. He was skinny and stood at a height of 5"8, with a limp of a man who worked hard for his living. He smiled everyone, but the only one who seems the acknowledge him was Robin. She returned the smile and gave him a small wave, in hopes of being nice but not letting the others see. He went into the librarians office and grabbed the waste basket.
"Hey Sweetheart, your dad's here." 
You gave him an unamused smile and kicked his shin under the desk once more.
Carl came out of the office and dumped the basket on his cart. He left his cart in the main library and walked down the pathway to grab another trash bin at the back of the room. 
"Hey, Carl?"
Carl paused in surprise that any student here, with the exception of Robin, would talk to him. He turned around, but Eddie still remained facing the front, putting his back to him. 
"How does one become a janitor."
Everyone supressed a giggle, even Steve despite his dislike for Eddie. Only Robin remained silent. She didn't find it very funny.
"You want to become a janitor?" Carl raised an eyebrow.
"No I just wanna know how one becomes a janitor because Steve here, is very interested in perusing a career in the custodial arts."
Steve stopped laughing at that. Carl scratched his head. He knew that they were making fun of him. But Carl wasn't one someone should mess with. He turned off his radio, pulled off his rubber gloves and shoved them in his back pocket.
"You guys think I'm just a lowly janitor. Some fucking untouchable peasant. Maybe so, but following a broom around after shitheads like you for five years, I've learned a few things. I read your notes, I go through your letters. I listen to your conversations. I am the eyes and ears of this institution. I know where you are now and I know where you'll be in the future."
Everyone exchanged worried looks as Carl moved to tower in front of Eddie. "You got ten years, max. Drugs. Rundown trailer in West Texas. Whore wife takes the baby, you shoot a fatal dose. Probable? Maybe not. Possible? Think so."
He turned to you. "You get married to a guy with lots of material success. Corporate position. Big bucks. Black Jag. You have three kids, nobody gives a shit. You get divorced and have a big fuckin' heart attack at thirty-eight, thirty-nine."
Steve was next. "District sales manager for a golf club manufacturer. Shitty little compact company car, twenty-two five a year and a wife as big as a boxcar."
Finally, Nancy. "Six face-lifts and two boob jobs by forty and a husband with more girlfriends than anniversaries."
He stepped back and put on his gloves. The stunned reaction on everybody's faces made him smile. "But I'm just a janitor." He shrugged.
And with that, he grabbed his cart, wheeled it around and headed out. He paused at the door and looked at the clock. 
"By the way, that thing's twenty minutes slow." He winked as he left and everybody groaned. 
~~~~~
12:30pm
~~~~~
Everybody was bored out of their skulls after the shock of Carl's speech had worn off. You took the time to think about what he had said. He had tried to put a downer on you, but the life he had predicted for you sounded like paradise, compared to now. Even if you did only have twenty years left to live. As crazy as it sounded, it gave you a bit of hope. There was a chance that you could work up the courage to leave Billy and meet someone nice, or at least wealthy. You had never given any thought about having kids, especially not with Billy, but now, maybe you could see yourself with a kid. You'd want a boy, and he'd look just like his father; Curly brown hair, big russet eyes, and a toothy smile. What would you name him? Would you name him after his father? Maybe Michael, or Christopher, James. Edward? You liked that name. 
Your eyes flashed to the door as it opened. Principal Higgins strolled in with a frown of his face, even though no one had done anything to upset him yet.
Yet.
"Thirty minutes for lunch." He declared.
"Excuse me Sir, I think the cafeteria would be a more suitable place to eat lunch."
"I don't care what you think, Harrington." 
Steve sunk back into his seat.
"Uh, Dick?" Eddie cleared his throat. "Sorry, Richard. Will milk be made available to us? Someone like Steve could choke to death on a dry sandwich."
"I have a low tolerance for dehydration, Sir." Robin added.
"I've seen her dehydrated, Sir." Steve sat up again. "It's pretty gross."
You wondered if that was true, or if he was just playing along. The things he said about her, you wondered if they knew each other. Probably not, you brushed off the thought. They were on complete opposite ends of the spectrum, there was no way they knew each other.
Principal Higgins scowled.
Eddie stood and raised his hands like he was trying to calm a wild animal. "Relax, I'll get it."
"Ah,ah,ah. Grab some wood there, Munson. You think I was born yesterday? You don't fool me for one minute. I'm not having you roaming these halls."
Eddie plopped back into his seat with a defeated sigh. It was worth a shot.
"You." He pointed at Steve. 
He eyed up the other students, skipping over Eddie as he decided who else was most suitable to leave. You sank into your seat. You did not fancy having some alone time with Steve. Steve stared directly at the Principal before darting his eyes to the right where Nancy was sat, signalling for him to pick her. She sat up to make herself more evident. 
Higgins ignored them and pointed a finger at you. "And you. There's a soft drinks machine in the faculty lunch room."
You broke into a cold sweat. This was going to be the most awkward ten minutes of your life. Either Steve was just going to pretend you didn't exist, or he was going to absolutely grill you. You hoped for the former. 
As you reluctantly got out of your seat, Steve held out a hand to the others for money. Nancy took out a change purse from her bag and handed him fifty cents. Robin does the same with the loose change in her jeans pocket. Eddie fished through his coat pockets. He found some assorted change, crumpled gum wrappers, some loose tobacco and a screw. He handed it all to Steve. 
Steve made his way out, not even looking to see if you're following him. You do, of course, but you lagged behind him, not feeling particularly comfortable being alone with him. You counted your steps as you walked, fiddling with the delicate chain around your neck. It was a simple design: just your name written with gold, cursive lettering. But it was the only jewellery you never took off. Your parents had bought it for you when you had started cheerleading at eight years old. It was a reminder of when life was much more simple, when you believed that your parents actually loved each other, that they loved you. 
A minute passed and you already couldn't stand the silence. You dreaded it, but you knew this would probably be the only opportunity you would get to hash out your grievances.
"Why do you hate me?" A forward start, but at least it's a start.
"You know why."
"Look, what Billy did wasn't my fault --"
"Of course it is. If you hadn't been there in the first place he wouldn't've showed up."
"Hey, I didn't even tell him I was going to that stupid party. He was there anyway. If you hadn't come over and butted into our argument, maybe you wouldn't have that split lip."
"My parties aren't stupid."
"Is that seriously all you took from that?"
"No..." He paused. After hearing your side of the story, he was beginning to feel like a fool. "What were you guys even arguing about?"
You sighed. "Billy and I had plans to go to this drive in movie theatre. I don't think he wanted to watch a movie though, I think he was just hoping to get lucky." The two of you had stopped walking. Steve looked at you intently, encouraging you to carry on. You shifted on your feet. "If I'm being completely honest I didn't really want to go, but then Carol asked me to go to your party and I took it as an excuse not to go with Billy. I knew he would be angry if I cancelled our plans last minute, so I told him I was sick. Biggest fucking mistake of my life."
"So you went to the party and Billy caught you out in your lie."
"Yeah. Turns out one of his friends had asked him to go but he'd declined 'cause we were going on a date. He accepted the offer once I'd cancelled our plans."
Steve started walking again. You followed next to him this time. "I know Billy is a bit of a shitbag, but why didn't you want to go on your date? I mean, it seemed like a good time."
There was no such thing as a 'good time' with Billy. He had his moments, sure, but he was as cranky as a wet hen. Time with him was like trying to swim with rocks on your back. He sucked all the fun out of everything until you started drowning. You didn't tell Steve that though. 
"I just wasn't in the mood to be around him, is all." You brushed him off. "But he's bringing it up all the time, and were arguing all of the time. Even in school."
"Is that why you're here today?"
His question made you pause. He stopped a couple of steps ahead of you and turned around when he saw you weren't next to him anymore. You played it off like you were itching your leg and jogged up to him. The two of you made it to the teacher's lounge. 
The first thing you noticed was that it was very brown. The floor and ceiling had the same white speckled tile that ran throughout the entire school, but everything else was just ... brown. Brown wallpaper, brown leather sofas, brown table, brown countertop. Even the fridge was brown. The vending machine was in the far corner.
"Why are you here?" You asked Steve, hoping he hadn't realised that you hadn't answered his question. 
"Me? I'm here because my father and my coach don't want me to blow my ride." He started feeding the change into the machine. "They think my intensity's for shit. You see, I have a different set of standards. I get treated different because Coach thinks I'm a star. So does my old man. But you know what? I don't care. I'm not a star because I want to be a star, I'm a star because I got good legs and reflexes. I'm like a racehorse. That's about how involved I am in what's happening to me."
You nodded, but you had a suspicion that that wasn't the whole truth. "Yeah, so why are you really here?"
Steve was annoyed that he hadn't managed to persuade you. "Forget it."
You studied the set of lockers on the other side of the room. You walked over to them out of curiosity, trying your luck with one of the doors. To your surprise it opened. 
Steve caught you out of the corner of his eye. "You really shouldn't be doing that."
Inside lay a set of keys attached to a green Hawkins High lanyard, a pack of cigarettes, a 'thank you teacher' mug, and a Prince's Purple Rain album on vinyl. Steve came up behind you, looking inside and letting the soda cans thunk loudly at the bottom of the vending machine.  
"This is a teacher's stuff?" He asked surprised.
"Yeah. Does this mean that they're actually human?" You laughed together for the first time.
Daringly, you pocketed the pack of cigarettes in your cardigan pocket and took the record. 
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. No, put them back." 
"C'mon Steve, when are you ever going into the teacher's lounge again? Besides, it'll give us something to do while were stuck in that god damned library."
You shut the locker door and brushed past him. You gathered up the soda cans, giving Steve his share to carry and made your way back to the library.
"It was pretty strange looking at teacher's personal shit, huh?" You said, examining the purple record sleeve.
Steve shrugged, he'd seen stranger things. "I went over to Coach's house for dinner once during the summer. It was really weird to see how he lives."
He paused, anticipating a question, but you just looked at him to carry on.
"His wife was fat. And one of his kids was in a wheelchair. It was kinda sad. He was a nice kid."
"If he invites you over to his house, why does he shit on you?" 
"He and my old man are working to get me a scholarship. It's not an economic issue. Scholarships make the newspaper. They think I have a shot at a full ride. They think I deserve a Big Ten school."
You simply nodded and walked through the library doors. The others were gathered in the corner by the comfy chairs. Eddie was holding a book opened to a page displaying a man with elephantitus to the nuts like he was reading children a bedtime story.
"How do you suppose he rides a bike?"
The clattering of soda cans on the table drew their attention away. They all walked over to grab a can. Before the others could take one, Eddie reached out and shook one furiously.
You look at him like he was crazy. Perhaps he was. "That's going to spray all over you."
"Not necessarily."
He put the drink back with the others and moved the cans around so than no one would know which was was shook up. 
"You're such a dingus." Robin bravely took a can first.
Everyone else followed before taking their seats and pulling out their lunches. You simply took out an apple, loosing your appetite after seeing a man with elephantitus to the nuts. You noticed Eddie didn't have any lunch as he surveyed everyone else's. 
"Where's your lunch?"
"You're wearing it." He winked. 
You curled your lip in disgust, but felt about as red as your apple. 
"You're nauseating." Nancy complained, opening her lunch.
"Look who's talking. You don't care what you put in your mouth." He eyed Nancy's lunch like she had just shown him a plate full of snails. "What is that?"
"Sushi."
"Sushi?"
"Rice, raw fish, and seaweed."
"You wont accept a guys tongue in your mouth, but you'll eat that?"
She scoffed impatiently. "Can I eat?"
"I don't know, give it a try."
The room went silent as everybody watched Steve pull out his lunch from a large brown grocery bag; three sandwiches, a family-sized bag of chips, an apple, a banana, a bag of cookies and a carton of milk.
"Are you really going to eat all that?" Robin asked in shock.
"No, I'm only going to eat half."
"What are you going to do with the other half?"
"Shoving it up Eddie's ass."
How charming. He reached for his can and everybody shrunk away, thinking it might explode. He cracked the tab. 
Nothing happened.
Robin took out a sandwich covered in saran wrap. She unwrapped it and pulled the bread apart, starting to work on it like a mad scientist. She tossed the meat away, blindly whipping it to the side. It slapped on the wall and stuck there. She reached into her sweater pocket and pulled out a bag of chocolate M&M's. She tore the bag open and dumped all of it on the buttered bread. Out of her coat pocket she pulled out a little baggie filled with Captain crunch cereal and sprinkled it over the M&M's. She closed the mess of a sandwich and took a huge bite. She noticed that everyone was watching her. 
"You are bizarre." Eddie thought Steve's lunch was bad.
She reached for her Pepsi to wash it all down. She put it to her mouth and popped it. The soda sprayed cleanly into her mouth. 
After the fizz was gone, she smirked at Eddie. "Nice try, dingus."
"What do you have?" He turned to you, watching take a bite into your apple.
You handed your bag over to him, rather than speaking with a full mouth. He started pulling things out. He pulled out a sandwich, a thermos of soup, which he opened and give a big whiff, and a bottle of water.
"Well Sweetheart, this is a very nutritious lunch. All the food groups are represented. Did your mom marry Mr. Rodgers?"
Eddie stood so he was front and centre of the room, all eyes on him. 
"This is my impression of life at our darling Sweetheart's house." He gestured to you and your face flushed.
"Hello, dear. I'm home from the coalmine." Eddie impersonated your father.
Eddie quickly played your mother. "Oh, hello, sweetie pie. Dinner's almost ready. I'm serving stuffing instead of potatoes." 
"My favourite!" 
His voice turned high and shrill, playing you. "Hi, Dad! Yippee, you're home! I danced in a skimpy skirt in front of hundreds of people today. I went to church and I wrote Grandma a letter. Now can I have a pen pal?"
"Dear, isn't our daughter swell?" 
Quiet and motherly. "Yes Dear, isn't life swell?" 
Eddie mimed your mother kissing your father, then father kissing mother, and then your father punching your mother in the face. Suddenly it was not so funny anymore. 
Your eyes were wet. You hated how much that hurt. It wasn't his words that hurt you, it was how much you wished it were true. 
You bravely stood up. "No, it's more like --"
"Dad? Is it okay if I shoot heroin?"
You lowered your voice, playing your father. You held an imaginary newspaper in your hands, not taking your eyes off it and pretending that you weren't paying attention. "If it'll make you happy, pumpkin." 
You extended your fingers and blew on them, doing your mother and her fresh nail polish. "What are you talking about, Frank?! How's she going to wear her Sunday dress with holes in her arms? We are going to church aren't we?
"It's okay. Never mind. I won't be a junkie." You said sadly.
"Now, just wait a minute. If you want to be a junkie--" 
"I'm not going to be the only woman at the congregation with a junkie daughter. Now what about church?" Your mother said.
"Go by yourself!" Said your father.
"With pleasure! I'm taking Y/N." 
"Over my dead body!"
"I love her more than you do!"
"Go to hell!"
Everyone looks at you with a hint of sympathy. Even Eddie.
"Do you wish they'd get a divorce?" He asked.
"No."
"Why not?" 
"I'd have to live with one or the other. And I don't know which one is worse." You laughed, but there was no humour behind it.
"Whose next?" Eddie ask, like he didn't already know he was going to single out Steve. Eddie pointed at him. "You're next."
"Yeah, no thanks."
"You an orphan?"
"I don't need to dump on my parents. Especially when they're not here to defend themselves." Eddie gave him a look like he was being chicken.
"What about your family?" Steve asked Eddie. He wanted him to have a taste of his own medicine.
"Mine? Real simple, pal."
He climbed onto the table, really setting the stage and getting himself into character. His eyelids lowered and his body moved clumsily, like he was drunk. "Stupid, worthless, no good, goddamn freeloading, son of a bitch, big mouth, know-it-all, asshole, jerk!"
He stands up straight, crossing his arms and raising the pitch of his voice. "You forgot ugly, lazy and disrespectful." His mother said.
"Shut up bitch!" He smacked the air, hitting his invisible mother. He yelled it so loud you were worried Higgins was about to storm through the door.
As his father, he threw a punch. Eddie dramatically dropped from the table and fell to the ground. He stood up, brushed himself off and took a bow. The show was over. 
"Then they make me work to pay off the dentist for the teeth he busts."
"Is that for real?" Nancy looks like she's going to start crying for him. 
"You wanna come over some time?"
She didn't want to believe that something like that could happen to anyone. Even someone as vexing as Eddie. Nancy decided then to never complain about her parents again.
"That's part of your image. I don't believe a word." Steve brushed him off. His re-enactment hadn't moved him at all. 
You wondered if he was right. You had been so truthful about yours, you would feel ashamed if he had lied about his.
Eddie actually looked hurt. "You don't believe it, huh?" 
He whipped off his red shirt and pulled up the sleeve of his black t-shirt. He shoved his arm in Steve's face, displaying a grotesque purple scar. Steve recoiled away from it, but Eddie forced him to look at it. You subtly tugged at the sleeve of your cardigan. You could feel the bruises of Billy's fingers purpling on your wrist.
"You believe that? It's about the size of a cigar." Eddie spoke through gritted teeth. "That's what you get in my house when you spill paint in the garage."
Eddie was breathless with anger. His muscles were tensed up so tightly he thought he was going to give himself a full-body cramp. He needed something to calm himself down. Luckily, he knew just the thing.
~~~~~
<<<Previous // Next>>>
~~~~~
Taglist: @cruwushes @the-ch0sen-on3 @namelesshumanperson @ali-r3n @cadence73 @munsonssweets @ahoyyharrington @mewchiili @yourdailymemedelivery @httpsunflowers @b-irock @coolglittercornbae @sav12321 @cumslutforaemond @siriuslysmoking @learninglinesintherainn @peaches-roses-sins @lodeddiperrodrick @catherinnn @lilocapoca @minniedreamers @melaninjhs
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berk-brain-rot · 2 months
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So Berk posted a video of some poems that never made it into Lazarus Rises and I wanted to talk about my favorite one.
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It's this, it's this one.
If you're just here to read the poem, fair, it's amazing and stands on it's own, honestly click the link and read the rest of them, because they're all so good!
If you're here as a fellow-feral-unhinged-raccoon and want to read my honestly unneeded analysis, it's below the cut.
Oh my god. Are you kidding me?? This was a poem that didn't pass the cut??? And it's this good?????? (Once again I feel justified in telling literally every person who spends five minutes in conversation with me about how good of a poet Berk is)
Honestly though, this is one of my favorites of the poems in that video, because it's so short, it's so simply written, and this says so much that I feel like I could write an entire essay on each of the lines themselves and their meanings (I honestly might anyways but I'm not gonna subject you guys to those rambles)
"Life loves Death"
In the same way you can't help but love an impossible task you just want to give up but that at this point is the only company you truly remember and the only thing you know how to work towards.
"Life loves Death"
In the same way we can't help but try and find meaning in beauty in the thing that truly only takes from us, because if there isn't meaning and beauty in our pain, then why the fuck do we have it?
"Life loves Death"
As something we can't take seriously. As something we truly don't understand the risks of until it's too late. As something that for some of us, we rush forward to with joy and open arms because we think it'll feel like the warm embrace of the sun but instead all we are met with is the cold cold ocean.
"Life loves Death"
As a burden, a burden that some claim is a gift. A burden enforced upon us poor poor sinners by a god in punishment. Am I talking about Apollo or Jesus? Both, neither of them, I don't believe in either, but I mean no one believed Cassandra either.
"Life loves Death"
As a needed tool, as a part of every flower we decide to put in a vase, as every dye we put in paint, as every food we are forced to consume and as the tool that at the end of the days ends up changing us.
Also something something, gods punishing poor sinners for wanting to enjoy life something something an apple and a weaving contest being the show of ultimate pride something something I don't have religious trauma you do
Like do you get it???? Do you see how insane this is??? How much information they've packed into six lines???
And I'm not even gonna go over the way Life and Death are capitalized and personified, you all already know how I feel about how impressive it is they do that, but regardless, this poem is amazing and you can pry it out of my coffin-bloodied-cold-dead hands.
As always, the source is always more interesting than anything I have to say, so if you haven't yet, go read Lazarus Rises(amongst other things) and follow them on their Tumblr @icaruspendragon because they write so many cool things beyond just their published book.
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scrolling-forever · 11 days
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With every passing episode of FHJY, I grow more proud and am just in awe with how GREAT the intrepid hero’s are at playing the game and making it MATTER. How well they have all gotten at using experiences from each previous season and creating even better content each time. (To think I now have a combat scene i love more than battle of the brands is crazy and a testament to how good dimension 20 is) Ally was not a dnd player before d20 THAT IS CRAZY and now they have the intuition to catch Brennan before he absolutely destroyed the bad kids is insane. Brennan constantly told them it’s the last stand and they just flipped him off and crited on him in his own dome. Zac Oyama you beautiful crit king. Siobhan was so strategic and effective with their spell work I truly thought she could see into the future. Lou putting 110% into every action he did, he was PREPARED TO WRITE A 300 WORD ESSAY BY HAND. Murph and Emily killing multiple monsters by utilizing their class features to the fullest. Murph by making Riz a shadow killing anything he sees getting in the way of his friend passing and Emily who literally got the daymare the previous episode already using it to its fullest and using disguise self in a way that made the proctor not even have to use kristen’s death world (did he only get hit once i don’t remember) ALL OF THIS WHILE GIVING US A CRAZY SWITCH WITH BUDDY AND MAKING THE STORYLINE SO MUCH COOLER GOD.
I love all of them thank you goodbye
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queen-of-reptiles · 4 months
Text
𝙿𝙰𝙶𝙴𝚂
description: Lauren runs through the same park everyday, at the same time everyday, but when she is an hour later one day, she finds her routine changing, so she can get one more look at the beauty hidden amongst pages of notes.
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lauren hemp x female reader
disclaimer: this is all fiction! Do not take any of this seriously
warnings: so much fluff omg, so much fluff, fluffffff
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y/n just posted
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liked by, y/f/n1, y/f/n2, and 388 others
y/n man fuck whoever told me to study law 🤓
view 103 comments
y/f/n1: girl ik, I've just eaten a tub of ice cream, cried and banged out an essay on civil justice in the 80's. 😝
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y/n: lmao loved the add on of cried 😌
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y/f/n1: felt like it was needed ���️
y/f/n2: I don't get how you make everything look so aesthetic??? 😩😩
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y/n: because I am deffo failing this course so might as well make it look good ! 💙
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y/f/n3: Didn't you get an A in our last test? 🤨
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y/f/n4: I am a drama kid, and even I know she's fucking dramatic 😭
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y/f/n3: Such a drama queen this one!
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y/n: I hate both of you stfu 🙄
y/bff/n: That's my best friend, she real bad bitch, she don't got no money, cause at law she's shit... 😏
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y/n: how long did that take you? 🤨
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y/bff/n: too long honestly...
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y/n: 😭😭
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Lauren was running an hour later than usual, they had quite an exhausting game yesterday, so on her day off, she usually slept in until half eight ad was running in the park by nine.
Today it was ten am, and as Lauren jogged through, music pushing her through, she paused in shock. The most beautiful girl she had ever seen was lying on a picnic blanket, basking in the warm summer sun.
Rings littered her thin fingers, as well as several necklaces which hung from her neck and over the notebook she was writing in. Jeans and a sweet flowery top covered her, the mom jeans hanging on her body.
She had wired headphones in, which Lauren found odd, but the girl didn't seem to notice her as she stared, too focused on writing whatever she was writing.
Lauren briefly though about going over, but then she realised she was messy haired, red faced, and sweaty and thought better of it. So instead, she jogged on.
But suddenly Lauren found herself changing her routine, and every day off she had, which changed, she went to the park at 10am, and every time, other than Thursdays and Tuesdays, the girl was there, buried in pages.
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lauren_hemp just posted on her close friends story
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lauren_hemp just posted on her close friends story
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After Lauren's complete fail, the next day off they had, Chloe, Alex and Jill came with her to the park, the four in relaxed outfits and hoping to sit and relax together, as well as help Lauren with this painful crush.
As they got there, the mysterious girl was already there, writing out pages and pages once again, and Jill let out a light whistle, nodding at Lauren in agreement.
The girl was hot. Chloe and Alex both sat down near her, dragging the other two with them, y/n looked up and she waved nicely at Lauren, who waved back with a smile.
Chloe sighed in relief that Lauren had at least reacted normal to that, and as y/n went back to studying the four friends started a conversation as they relaxed in the sun.
Eventually the group got up to play some football, y/n having not moved since the turned up, Chloe had hit the ball slightly hard and Lauren blanched as she ran.
The quick blonde, only manged just to get to y/n, pulling the girl who had stood up to stretch out of the way of the incoming ball the football instead hitting one of her notebooks and sending loose pages everywhere.
"Oh my god." y/n gasps.
"Sorry!" Chloe calls. "I am so sorry!" She adds again, but y/n waves a hand kindly.
"Luckily I have my guardian angel!" y/n calls, smiling at Lauren gratefully, who blushes at the sweet nickname. "Thank you." y/n adds as she bends down to pick at her papers.
Lauren kicks the ball across to Chloe who restarts their game of up, with the other two, but Lauren stays by y/n leaning down to help pick up her scattered papers.
"Oh you don't have to." y/n starts but Lauren smiles and shakes her head.
"I want to." Lauren promises as she hands the girl her papers. "Do you maybe want to get coffee sometime?" Lauren suddenly asks, as if she had been forced to say it.
Truth is, if she hadn't of said it then, she never would have. y/n looked up at her and furrowed her brows slightly, as if trying to figure something out.
"Like a date?" She asks and Lauren nods.
"Unless you don't want to." Lauren adds.
"No I want to, I was just trying to figure out why Lauren Hemp is asking me out." y/n admits and Lauren winces.
"You know who I am?" She asks and y/n shrugs.
"My best friend is a city fan, though I am more partial to Arsenal I must admit." y/n teases and Lauren pretends as she's been shot dragging and heart-breakingly beautiful laugh from the student.
"How could you?" Lauren asks jokingly and y/n laughs again.
"Quite easily, I suppose I will have to make it up to you." y/n hums. "How about a date tomorrow, after coffee today?" She asks and Lauren grins.
"Uh, yeah, yeah that would be great." Lauren smiles, a bright gleam in her eyes.
"Cool, well can I get your number then?" y/n asks and Lauren jerks forward, quickly tapping her number in and sending a message to herself.
"Do you want to go get coffee now?" Lauren asks, y/n sighing in relief and nodding.
"Please, I look at anything else about civil justice proceedings, my brain is going to self-destruct." y/n says and Lauren chuckles and looks up to tell her friends.
However, she finds no one, the three having dispersed with shared grins as Lauren and y/n started talking, finding no reason to interrupt they left.
y/n packed away her notes, throwing her highlighters into her pencil case and standing up, she smoothed out her summer dress, the article stopping just below her knees.
"You're so pretty." Lauren said without thinking, and even though she had just said it aloud, it sounded so calm and meant.
"Charmer." y/n blushed, smiling softly as she held out her hand. "Come on." She smiles and Lauren takes her hand.
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lauren_hemp just posted on her story
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twitter/ X
username1: has anyone seen Lauren's story???? 🤨🤨
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username2: YES - is she out on a date?
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username3: it looks like it !!!! 😏😏
username4: Lauren and a girl have been seen out in Manchester!!!
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username5: She is in my class at school!!! 😱😱
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username6: her @ is @y/n - She is so pretty! 😊
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username7: nahhh she's not 🙄🙄
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username8: yeah what if she is just using Lauren??? 😡
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username9: stfu it aint our bsuiness! 🖕
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lauren_hemp just posted
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liked by, chloekelly, leahwilliamsonn, and 487, 288 others
tagged y/n
lauren_hemp So proud of you baby <3 you deserve this after all the sleepless night and pages of notes! Also happy one year love - best WAG I could have asked for!
view 13, 711 comments
username1: has it been a year already??? WOah !!
username2: feels like just yesterday we were hunting her down ...
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username3: who would have guessed how much we would love her too! ☺️☺️
leahwilliamsonn: Well done y/n!!
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y/n: Thankooooo xxx
y/bff/n: SOOoooooooOO PROUD! 💙
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y/n: love youuuuuu 💙
y/f/n1: It seems like only yesterday you were crying with dominoes saying you were going to drop out. 🥹
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y/n: what a time, what a time. 😊
username4: This is all just so cute! 🥹
chloekelly: This happened because of me just so everyone knows 👏👏
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lauren_hemp: yes lets all thank Chloe for nearly knocking out my girlfriend 🙄
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y/n: thanks Chloe! Thought she would never come and talk to me. <3
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lauren_hemp: I would have! 😶
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chloekelly: nahhhhhh ☺️
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username5: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 😂
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END
loved this one as it is just cuteness honestly !!
-
Queenie xx
327 notes · View notes
pasta-in-the-pudding · 4 months
Note
Warmly greet!🫰 I just came across your blog today and I'm already in love with it!🖤🖤🖤 Could I leave a request here where Puppeteer, Jason, Candy Pop and LJ have a S/O who has insecurities about not being good enough for them? Because, come on...they're supernatural, not quite human, and their S/O is a regular, weak human, at least from the S/O's point of view...
Oooh thank you, friend! Also, i never get to write for Candypop or LJ so i am excited to do it!
Thank you so much for requesting!!
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Puppeteer
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He will just kind of stare at you when you tell him those feelings
Like??? Are you kidding???
He is so obsessively in love with you that the thought of you feeling like you aren't enough for him is wild to him
Instantly he will assure you that you are more than he could ever dream of, and how much he loves you
He doesnt love you for supernatural abilities or powers, he loves you for you
Again, the thought of you not being enough for him doesn't even really comprehend in his mind
it's so insane to him that you, his most favorite person in the world who he couldn't live without, thinks that they aren't enough for him
If anything, he isn't enough for you, in his opinon
you are a literal deity walking on earth, and he is lucky enough to even witness your beauty and you think you arent enough???
Yeah, those thoughts are snuffed out rather quickly by him
He will spend the entire day going over every little thing he adores about you if he has to
Jason The Toymaker
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He is just kind of confused when you express your feelings to him
"Now, what's this all about?" he asks with a pitiful look towards you
He honestly thinks that it's kind of weird that those feelings are even something humans are capable of feeling
What does he care that you don't have any weird abilities?
"Even when you are old and grey I will still love you. I will love you when you are in pain, and I will love you when you are happy. You being human makes no difference to me, because I love you. Even when you breathe your last breath, your soul will live on with me in the form of my favorite doll I will keep on a special shelf, pristine and upkept"
He's kind of a helpless romantic lol
Bro gave you a whole essay
anyways, he literally could not care less if you are magical or not, he's just thinks you're neat <33
CandyPop
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He kind of thinks its funny that you think that
He will snort and look at you like you're joking "why??"
"You shouldn't feel that way. It's pointless to. Because you and I both know that no matter what, I still love you. I wouldn't be with you if I didn't like you at least a little bit"
He will joke around with you and make you try to feel good about being human
You are allowed to go pretty much wherever you please without being called a demon, he can't
Your squishy flesh human body is quite sustainable on its own, being able to morph and adapt to extreme situations, which he thinks is neat
And his personal favorite about humans, specifically you, you have such a wide array of expressing yourself! You have emotions, art, studies, etc
He loves you being human and you not liking being human is strange to him
Laughing Jack
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He understands the insecurity
He can't say he's ever felt it, because he gives literally no fucks, but he understands
He will do whatever you want him to do about it, really
Lord knows he doesn't know what to do
If you wanna rant, he'll listen
If you wanna just be doted on, that's what he'll do
Whatever makes you feel better
Honestly, he does find it a little peculiar that you don't like being human
Like, if he could be 5'10", wear whatever he wants, do whatever he wants, go whatever he wants, etc, he'd be soooo happy
His 7'6" ass could never
177 notes · View notes
kyouka-supremacy · 7 months
Text
I was asked why I like Beast and why I prefer it over the main universe, so obviously I ended up with a 2k+ words essay on why Beast is great. Now I feel like it diverges too much from what the original ask was actually asking for, so I'm leaving it to its own post. Enjoy.
Why do you like Beast? So, first of all you MUST know that this is a question that could keep me talking for days to no end. I'm not kidding. Here there will be some disorganized rambles but trust me, if I had time to actually do so I'd keep going on forever.
Alternative universes are cool I love Beast. I think it starts off at a point when the bsd author was more experienced from having already worked with the main series for many years, and ultimately ended up making an alternative version of the work that is more mature and refined, while still maintaining bsd's core themes (and conservative worldviews at that lmao). Starting off, the “what if” concept is endlessly fascinating, pretty much the entire fandom culture is based on it. It IS unfailingly cool to see what could have happened if Akutagawa sided with the ada and Atsushi with the pm, it is extremely interesting to see what changes out of their personalities and on the other hand what stays the same, what is intrinsically them. About sskk, I find it really compelling how Beast tackles intimate aspects of their lives, pasts and traumas. The café scene is genuinely brilliant in the way it shows, completely unexpectedly and to the reader's full disbelief, them getting along in normal circumstances. Who could have predicted that! Of all things, Akutagawa and Atsushi getting along. But it happened, and nothing before had ever shown to that extent how similar they are, how much on the same page they are, how much they're meant to be– like yeah obviously I mean romantically, but even if you're not particularly into that, it displayed just how deeply connected they are. I'm forever grateful for that scene.
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Beast Akutagawa is great But I think… More in general, I just really like Beast Akutagawa and Beast Atsushi, even better than their canon counterparts 😅 Again I do think at the point when they wrote Beast the author had already gathered a lot of experience from serializing bsd for at least five years, and ended up making characters that are more solid and compelling (although please don't get me wrong, I LOVE canon sskk and I believe canon Akutagawa's character arc in particular is amazing. It's just that at least to me Beast sskk is everything I could ever ask for.). I love Beast Akutagawa! It was so so capturing to see him grow outside of the pm. And especially it was infinitely interesting to see Akutagawa grow outside of Dazai. And don't get me wrong, I love the influence Dazai has on canon Akutagawa, I wouldn't have it any other way: it made Akutagawa who he is, and I love reading about his character. But I also found it wonderful and pleasantly refreshing to see how he would be if he had never undergone Dazai's training; I like this Akutagawa who's possibly even more immature and impulsive, wild and untamed than his canon counterpart. Beast is also the universe where Akutagawa gets his chance at being a good person - which is something he desperately strived for but never got to have in the main universe -, and in the end I am a little attached to Akutagawa, so I'm happy for him! His relationship with Oda and the whole ada are wonderful, I like getting to experience a universe where Akutagawa is loved and supported, unapologetically, for who he is.
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Beast Atsushi is great Beast Atsushi is AMAZING. Like. Character molded appositely to my liking ahah. He's so cool! He's so tormented! He's sweet and cruel and utterly unstable! I love him so much. He truly is Atsushi at his full potential. I love this Atsushi who's biggest fear isn't the world, but rather himself. He's beautiful and horrible and deathly and kind. He killed his abuser to stop him from haunting his nightmares, but ended up turning those nightmares into his life. He takes his coffee with three sugars. He loves his little sister and would risk the safety of his organization and the boss he's endlessly loyal to for her. The only person who ever understood him is his most loathed enemy. He's one with death and indistinguishable from darkness. His laughter stops rain. He lives in perpetual physical pain due to a choker constantly piercing around his neck and yet even that is nothing compared to the damage of his psyche. He's so, so fucked up. He deserves the world. I LOVE HIM.
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Beast Dazai is great Also, I really like Beast Dazai!!! He's always Dazai, but I think his character works out a lot better in Beast for the role he covers. In canon Dazai is this omniscient, all knowing figure, but he's also a protagonist, and him being so perfectly flawless doesn't go well in the long run. You've seen it in the last season 5 episode, it just gets boring after a while– it would be nice to see him face actual challenges and high stakes for once, but he's so overpowered, that never happens. In Beast, it's pretty much the same deal (author really loves Dazai lmao), but the fact that he isn't the protagonist and instead the main villain? I feel like from a storytelling standpoint, it works so much better!! I mean, his being omniscient works a lot better– he's not the one who the reader expects facing challenges and high stakes, the protagonist is. In addition, in Beast Dazai has almost universal knowledge due to his link to the Book, so that makes his being omniscient and even god-like a lot more feasible and easy to contemplate! I think that plot-wise it just works a lot better, there's an actual reason he's so overpowered, and that reason is explained, it's in the text. Oh and I LOVE his utter devotion to Oda. I know it's the same in canon, but still… There in Beast you can see it concretely, you can see it everywhere. That very universe exists how it is because of Dazai's love for Oda, because there's nothing he wouldn't do for him, because in the whole universe, in the whole multiverse, Oda's happiness is the only thing that matters to him. I think such strong feelings of love being put so explicitly is something simply wonderful to read, and makes Dazai infinitely more sympathetic than what he may be in canon. “But I do have one regret, Odasaku— I won't be able to read the novel you'll complete one day.” LIKE YEAH, SURE, ALRIGHT, JUST SHOOT ME TO THE HEAD ALREADY. That line alone is worth the whole novel, honestly. Oh and the thing about Oda harshly repudiating Dazai, the man who literally did everything for him, who dedicated his whole life for him… Man!!! That REALLY made me sympathize with Dazai in a way canon will never be able to. All those factors only contribute making Dazai's suicide in the end all the more emotional– which I believe works really well in the story, he is an enemy and he is a god and he had to die, but still makes for an extremely emotionally charged scene and a wonderful story climax. Imo Beast Dazai had to die so that canon Dazai could live (and, hopefully, find a reason to live!), and it's as bitter as it is beautiful.
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The Beast ada dynamics are great And I love the ada in Beast!!! They feel infinitely more of a family than they do in canon. Kenji, Kunikida, Tanizaki, they all seem to love Akutagawa in a way that's hard to be found towards Atsushi in canon? The way they didn't falter to rescue Akutagawa even as he went, against all their advices and pleas, to a suicidal rampage was wonderful and heartwarming. They make it sound unbelievable that when Atsushi was (mind you, unwillingly) kidnapped their first response would be that it was an hassle and that he should have dealt with it on his own (this time I truly believe it was the author learning from their own mistakes, because seriously, who does that. It makes everyone instantly feel a thousand times less sympathetic). As people have said, the ada alone makes Beast feel like the “right” universe on the basis that in it they actually care about their members. All things considered, the ada treats Akutagawa as this kind of rabid murderous gremlin they just adopted who's going to bite everyone but that they still love no matter what, and it's super cute. Beast ada really is the bsd found family if there ever was one.
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A cool plot The Beast storyline is just very compelling in general? The introduction chapter is amazing, I mean, The Heartless Cur is amazing. Again, Beast Akutagawa is such a great character, and the description of his struggle to find his own humanity, although in my opinion does fall weak in some points and has flaws, still treats a concept that's very interesting to ponder over nonetheless. I like how there's a series of more light-hearted chapters in the first half, it helps solidify the characters, and those chapters are really nice to read; not to mention having lighter chapters alternated with the strikingly more gloomy and violent pm Atsushi scenes makes the latter feel all the more frightening and disturbing, it's a great narrative choice. And the big crescendo of Akutagawa storming in the pm headquarters! His fight of physics and morals against Atsushi! Them telling each other they're nothing like the other when the reader knows the exact opposite is true! It's all very good, and again, Dazai's suicide makes for a perfect climax to the story.
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Sometimes being a seinen can be good I like how Beast is a seinen way more than the main story is? Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with shounen manga - which bsd seems to lean towards more often than not, with only occasionally tackling more adult concepts -, but at this specific time in my life those darker themes are just something I find more entertaining to read about. I feel like the gritty and often gruesome depictions, although maybe a little overused in the manga, really help emphasize the dark atmosphere of the manga and overall effectively convey the whole “beast” imaginary as wild / violent / unpleasant / animalistic.
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It's got sskk in it And in general it's just… Compared to canon, Beast is very very sskk centered. It's significantly shorter than the canon manga, and in a way that helped focus on sskk specifically, because it only had space to narrate one story, which is sskk's. And I don't know what to tell you, I'm here for the sskk. Of course I like Beast best.
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Beast Atsushi is great (cont.) Back to Beast Atsushi because he's everything, really. I love how when I went into Beast I was like “I mean, whatever Dazai is making of Atsushi under the pm, if can't possibly be any worse than the constant abuse Akutagawa had to experience 😊” AND I WAS PROVED WRONG. I mean, I think the fact alone that the author could come up with something worse is remarkable. Dazai's emotional manipulation and psychological torment is, I believe, the darkest facet of Dazai we ever witnessed, and it's extremely well executed. Beast Atsushi is so so unstable, so on the brim of mental breakdown and psychosis at every second. Him being made unable to let go of the past makes him live in a perpetual nightmare. And I feel like the way his character story is unwrapped is truly masterful, storytelling wise!!!! On the reader's first encounter with him, it's evident how deeply scarred and disturbed he is, but the reader can't tell why. That adds to the mystery and feeling of unsettling surrounding the character: his story is wrapped up by darkness and it's impossible to predict, just like he is– and it's deliciously unsettling, scary, to be unable to tell anything about what made him like he is except from guessing that it must have been something really bad. And yet even then /nothing/ could have prepared the reader to what his backstory really is? And when the traumatic event is finally unveiled, it's worse then any guess the reader could have made. Atsushi's back to the orphanage flashback passage is terrifying! He didn't undergo any harm, like it would have been easy to guess; on the contrary, his torment stems from having killed his abuser. But he did so at a point when he didn't represent a threat for him anymore, when he was proud of him, when he got close to resemble a father to his eyes; and all of this he realized too late; and now he lives in constant regret, constant terror of himself. It's great, really! And even then, Atsushi carries on with being. super cool lmao. Like yeah he's unstable and everything, he's wild and violent, but he's also still very kind. He's timid and blushes easily. He also feels a lot more mature than he does in canon, and it's nice to see. He's more confident and serious, and that's nice too. He REALLY is my favorite character.
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Some pretty cool scenes are in it Moving on, Beast has some truly amazing scenes. The Heartless Cur is amazing and builds up such an awesome character, Atsushi's introduction is petrifying, the Kenji / Akutagawa conversation is as deeply moving as it is cathartic. I won't be talking about the sskk café scene. Akutagawa's whole assault to the pm headquarters is rich of emotional scenes. I already talked about Atsushi's flashback and Dazai's suicide being wonderful passages both from technical and emotional standpoints. And the manga ending is just so good!!!!!!! Like it truly is the perfect ending– the way it ties up with the main story! How it feels like ada Akutagawa's story has just begun, a conclusion but also hope for what's to come. The “out behind our company's building there are some people of low character hanging about”– I can't stress enough how emotional this line, a final and definite tie to the main story, makes me, how meaningful it is in its quality of being both an ending, and a beginning. The last page showing Akutagawa at the center of the ada, it just moves me so deeply to see him being the protagonist, surrounded by a crowd of people who love and support him, getting his own chance at a life in the light 😭😭😭 “I'm going to live as an agency member. I'll solve cases, rescue the weak, and prove that I'm not evil.” Crying my eyes out 😭😭😭😭😭😭 And don't get me started on when Akutagawa and Atsushi's voices mix up to speak as one; I could never hope to be able to express what that makes me feel.
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Siblings dynamics are my jam I also love Beast because one of the main aspects that drives the plot is Ryuunosuke and Gin's relationship, and I /love/ siblings relationships, and I //love// Ryuunosuke and Gin's relationship. I don't think Gin's character was written well at all (because the author literally can't write female characters for the life of theirs), but eh, at least it reinforced the concept that Ryuunosuke loves Gin terribly and would be able to do anything for her. Atsushi and Kyouka's relationship, too, is to die for.
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The designs and manga art style slay Besides, the character designs are beautiful???? Akutagawa's Beast outfit is my second favorite out of the whole franchise, it's just such a look™. I love in general how rabid and messy Akutagawa looks in Beast, he feels so much more free? And like, good for him. In my head Beast Atsushi is the most handsome man in the entire franchise and I don't think I can take criticism on this. I find cutting off his longer bang such a witty way to represent not only how this Atsushi is different from the one we know (after all, that's the most remarkable and eye-catching feature of his appearance!), but also to symbolize how the cut with his past at the orphanage was harsh and violent. Characters designs aside, Hoshikawa's art style is GORGEUS. It's hard and rough and messy, it's dark and unpolished and violent and beautiful and exactly everything Beast is. It's PERFECT for the story, it's like it was made to portray it.
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Sskk is always great And that's just talking about the canon content but like. Beast means a Beast sskk. Which is basically new and improved sskk. And I like sskk. And I like every version of sskk but especially this version where they're even more violent and fucked up and madly in love with each other and evidently meant to be. So yeah.
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And this is like, just the very tip of the iceberg of what I love about Beast. Humbling offering you this Beast love letter in hope we can all give this novel the appreciation it deserves (๑˃‌ᴗ˂‌)۶
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