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#who comes from a horribly abusive home with parents who got trapped together in a shitty small town

string-of-beads · 2 years

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I. The Last Will & Testament

June 15th, 1870

“£3,000?”

“Yes, Miss Fairchild. £3,000 pound sterling a year. Your Aunt Margaret’s estate was quite large. Your inheritance comes with a title and large home. Remember, however, this is all dependent upon you remaining alone in the house for 6 months. Once you sign the paperwork everything is effectively yours. You are expected to move into the estate at the beginning of next month.”

Heathergate. Such a lovely name for what I remembered to be a dismal place. And I would have to stay there, alone. The thought sent a chill through my whole body but--oh--the blessing that this could be for my brothers! Father rarely spoke of Heathergate, or Dornoch, or even Scotland. We never returned to visit after mother died and I’m surprised that Aunt Margaret even remembered that I existed after the colossal falling out my brothers and I were forced to watch.

Maybe she felt sorry for me. Maybe she saw what was coming. Without Mother, Father fell apart. His four children had to huddle together to weather the shape that the blows and gales that his abuses and manias took on in our home before he decided it best to leave us to our own devices.

Michael was eldest and left for the merchant marines not long after Father left. Robert and Harold entered their trades—blacksmithing and carpentry, respectively—and I was lucky enough to become a governess at age 18, only two years after Father had gone. All of us had educations, paid for with funds from my mother’s family but, my brothers didn’t care to pursue the “scholarly” careers that my mother’s family’s trusts had tried to enlist them into. They would each be quite put out to find that I had to attend to business at Heathergate; alone, for six months. None of us cared to even think of that place, in the Scottish Highlands; where the wind blew drafty and rainy into each room and it felt as if you might freeze in front of a roaring fire, no matter the time of year.

Heathergate was a dreary and icy place, not just in regards to the weather. The estate was built on top of old ruins. My parents always made it sound like a fortified castle of some kind. Who ever lived there before... well, it terrified me that I would own and live in that place in a matter of days. I still had nightmares about some of the hallways. When I was a child it was as if the walls moved and contorted to stretch into oblivion. Creaks and groans among the stones sound more like the shrieks and moans of the suffering and dying.

These phantoms had accosted me throughout my life. I have often seen people, ghosts or spirits, appear to me in horrible ways. These specters seem to want me to communicate with them, as if I’m the only being they can connect with at all. Heathergate only magnifies this phenomenon and traps me within it, unable to avoid the noise that the supposed dead make.

I used to think that I was mad, you know. I knew I couldn’t tell anyone about these visions. So, I didn’t. My family didn’t know exactly why it was only within the wall of Heathergate that I would sleep walk or cry out in my sleep. They attributed my distress to being away from what was familiar. Which was a logical enough explanation to mollify Mother and Father.

I returned home from the solicitor and began to collect my belongings. I would take a train to Dornoch in two days time and there was so much to prepare and so little to anticipate.

…

June 23rd, 1870

“Wilhelmina! You’re not really considering living in Heathergate by yourself? You remember what it’s like! What you’re like there? Will, at least let one of us go with you? Please?” Harold looked at me across the dinner table. Michael was currently at sea but he and his family; wife Beatrice, daughter Florence, and son James, were living in Portsmouth. Harold lived with Robert and his wife Mary in Yorkshire. “He’s right, Will. The place has got to be a den of poor spirits, to say the very least, and going by yourself for six lonely months would not help one wit. Harry should go up with you, to get you settled at least before we could all get up there.”

I had considered this but I had already prepared to leave within two days time, Aunt Margaret wanted me there as soon as possible and Harry had at least a week’s worth of business to finish before he could even consider leaving. “No, Rob. I have to go now. It’s part of Aunt Margaret’s bequest. The staff are still in residence and repairs are being made to the house. I won’t be alone.” We ate our meal in a tense silence. I noticed Robert give Mary a look of pleading that told me she was going to give me a talking to after dinner and I could never refuse Mary a chat, no matter how foolish the endeavor was.

We worked near each other to clean up supper and my brothers went off the get ready to sleep. “Will, love, why are you so hell bent on leaving us so soon? We only want what’s best and what’s best is for you to bring one of your brothers and I’m not just saying that because they’re eating me out of house and home.” We chucked a bit at the comment but for as much as I knew I wanted a familiar face to travel with, I simply couldn’t wait longer than was permitted. The solicitor had told me that Aunt Margaret wanted me to arrive at Heathergate as soon as was possible to get me—and only me—there. I was expressly told to travel alone and while the thought terrified me, I knew it was the best way to get all of it over and done with. Mary knew it too and understood, gravely, when I explained as much to her. “I’ll miss you terribly, Will. Would you write to me? All the way from Scotland?” I wiped a little tear from her cheek and said, “Mary, you’re the greatest friend and sister anyone could ask for. I’d write you 100 letters every day for 100 days if you’d ask.” We embraced tightly and I knew it might be friendly touch I received for a long time.

It's always the same dream. I'm standing in my nightdress, barefoot and freezing, at the end of the hallway in the west wing. The wood is dark and ornate. The carpet is a lush burgundy and the color bleeds into the wood of the walls, making them appear bloody. The huge arched window at the end of the corridor is bright and cracking with lightning flashing before me. The corridor looks endlessly long but I quickly find myself flying down the hall and I can't stop. I can never stop before I burst through the window and plummet to the rocks on the beach below.

#victorian #Victorian horror #gothic #gothic romance #romance #period piece #original wip #original content #original work

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bludhavents · 3 years

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things that each greaser struggles with:

these are mostly headcanons i came up with. also, this gets pretty angsty.

content warning: alcoholism, addiction, anxiety.

darry:

- maturity. he thinks everybody looks at him like the “dad” of the group instead of just another friend, and he loathes it. he misses whenever he was able to skip work to catch a movie at the drive-in or take ponyboy and sodapop up to the dingo for lunch.

- accidental intimidation. his build is very large and strong, which is good for his job and for when he’s actually trying to, well, intimidate people, but other than that it just makes him feel guilty for being so unapproachable.

- relationships. specifically, darry is very insecure in his relationship with pony. he especially hates it whenever pony dogs on him for forgetting things or accusing him of not caring.

- emotional intelligence. he knows he comes across as cold. and he hates it. he has lots of emotions and he doesn’t air them out in a healthy way, so he tries his best to cut all the emotions off altogether in hopes that the negativity will stop, but it just makes him feel even more insecure.

- social skills. in high school, it was all much easier for him, but now that he’s working full-time and running the household, he’s fallen majorly behind in the social scene. he never goes out to the drive-in or to the dingo, and at first it was because he was too busy, but now, even if he doesn’t have a shift, he’ll make up some excuse because he’s too nervous to go and have to talk to people again since he feels like he’s gonna mess up.

- identity. darry was just starting to feel comfortable in himself and in his role in the world right before his parents died, and when they did, he stopped trying to figure out what made him happy. it has made him insecure of the emotional stint that is centered around his ego and sense of self.

sodapop:

- smarts. it’s canon that he’s insecure about this.

- growing up. while everybody else moves on to new things and grows up, he feels like he’s stuck in the same place watching everybody else progress while he stays behind. this was especially true after sandy left, because marrying her was going to be this huge exciting step in his life and when she left, he didn’t have that fulfillment anymore.

- reassurance. he feels a constant need for approval, and he will take it wherever he can get it. there’s a sort of pride he gets whenever he sees a girl checking him out, but there’s a deeper feeling telling him that she’s gonna run away once she finds out about how ‘stupid’ he is.

- authority. soda has a really hard time talking to people who are in a position of power. he gets all nervous and his hands get sweaty and his face goes sheet white in panic. his charm and social skill is enough to satisfy a conversation with a person his age, but he feels silly trying to be confident in front of an adult. he feels like they look down on him and will laugh.

- fatherhood. he’s very insecure about having a family in the future. he feels like he never appreciated his dad’s skilled parenting while he could, and since then darry has been a sort of fatherly figure in the house, but it’s hard for soda to see it that way. he grew up for 16 years with darry as a big brother and for him to suddenly be forced into a father role is troubling for soda. because of this complicated dynamic between soda and fatherhood, he feels like he won’t be able to be the best father possible for his children.

- legs. he hates his legs. you will never see soda in a pair of shorts, not even when he’s swimming. he doesn’t like the way they’re shaped and thinks that they make the rest of his body look odd, so he wears loose jeans to hide them. he’s also embarrassed of being embarrassed about them, so nobody knows, not even steve.

dallas:

- emotional intelligence. his lack of emotional intelligence is something he battles with a lot. he understands what people are feeling, but he has a hard time understanding why they feel that way. he says it’s because he’s too tuff to deal with emotions, but deep down he knows it’s because he was thrust into a traumatic childhood so early on that he never had time to build emotional bonds with people that would strengthen his empathy and understanding.

- his past, another canon take. he hates talking about it, even the good stuff, because when he thinks about new york all he can picture is 10 year old dallas watching a man being covered in a white sheet by the paramedics on the side of the road. he thinks about his friends from there and knows they’re all either locked up or dead, and it ruins any enjoyment he gets from reminiscing on the good times.

- health. he definitely has crohn’s or IBS or something else that makes his stomach hurt whenever he eats, and it embarrasses him to no end. he’s always anxious that his stomach is going to start hurting when he’s with the gang and is going to have to find some excuse to leave. he smokes so much while he’s out with them to keep from getting hungry until he gets back to buck’s place.

- his friendships. the shepherd gang is close-knit. then, the curtis’ are brothers, steve has known them forever, and two-bit is outgoing enough to make himself fit in to the group. johnny is the closest person dallas relates to, and it’s the friendship hes the most secure in.

- his smile. he knows smoking ruins his teeth, and he knows they’re crooked all over, and he knows that when he smiles his lips crack and stretch out.

johnny:

- his appearance, canon insecurity. he looks young for his age, and when the gang found him in the lot after he was beaten by Socs, they all started treating him like he was young too. he didn’t think the scar on his face was tuff, it just reminded him of being attacked.

- his voice. this is less about how it sounds and more about him not being able to speak over the shouting at home. he hates yelling, and he won’t stand in to speak up for him cause he’s too afraid of being told to “stop yelling”.

- being average. johnny feels painfully average in everything he does. he’s tried to find a skill that he truly loves and wants to take time to be good at, but he always gets frustrated and quits before he can improve.

- romance. almost every aspect of it terrifies johnny. he doesn’t know what a healthy marriage looks like, what he does know was from Mr and Mrs Curtis, but seeing them die together warped his sense of love. he doesn’t understand why you would want to love somebody so much if you didn’t have to. he doesn’t like the “til death do us part” aspect of marriage, because it makes him feel trapped. he’s not afraid of commitment, he’s afraid that he will end up in a marriage like his parents’ and not be able to leave.

two-bit:

- alcoholism. he’s an alcoholic and he knows it, but he’s been stuck in the vicious cycle of addiction for such a long time that the only way he knows how to cope with the emotional baggage of addiction is to drink more.

- social awareness. as of now, he’s very self-aware and extremely skilled in reading a room, but he didn’t used to be. he used to crack jokes at the wrong time and get scolded for it, and it made him feel horrible. like he wasn’t able to experience all the same sad feelings as everybody else because they reacted differently to the sadness than he did. they wanted to process the sadness while he wanted to ignore it.

- being absent at home. he knows he spends the majority of time at the curtis house, and he also knows that his mother spends the majority of her time at work, which leaves his little sister at home alone. he has a good relationship with her, but he doesn’t like for her to see him drunk, and as his alcoholism progresses, that gets to be more and more often. he knows this, and it’s one of the main reasons he’s so insecure about his addiction, because she’s the one who let him know that it wasn’t a one-way street. his problem affected him and her.

- commitment. two-bit is young, but he feels old enough to know how relationships work. he saw his dad walk out on them, and he was never able to process how you could go from marrying someone to leaving and never looking back. at first, he thought that his dad was just a selfish jerk, but when he met johnny and saw that his parents were also married and simultaneously abusive, he convinced himself that all marriages were bound to end up that way. he believes that if the curtis’ lived longer, they would have eventually gotten bitter and tired of each other, because in his mind, that’s just what couples do.

ponyboy:

- confidence. he has a lot of insecurities, and they’re shared pretty evenly between physical and non physical. he doesn’t like his body or his eyes. he doesn’t like how impulsive and dramatic he is.

- security. not in himself, but in life. he’s permanently on edge, feeling anxious about who’s going to be around the corner and what would happen if he got jumped and how many Socs he’d be able to fight off in case anything happened. his parents’ sudden deaths did not help this. he feels like life is constantly tossing him around, and he never feels completely safe.

- emotional outbursts. this isn’t exclusive to ponyboy, but he struggles with it the most. he hates getting upset with people, and he hates hurting other people’s feelings. when he’s feeling too many things, he starts to speak without a filter and gets mad at the littlest things, and he knows that it makes everybody around him feel bad.

- fitting in. in contrast to johnny’s insecurity, ponyboy wants nothing more than to fit in. he’s tired of being the only greaser in his classes, he’s tired of his isolated taste in movies and theatre, he’s tired of being a track star, and he’s tired of all the pressure put on him since he isn’t average.

steve

- masculinity. his dad always enforces an unrealistic standard of being strong, independent, and logical. steve is inherently all of these things, but the pressure he feels to keep it up weighs him down.

- comparing himself to others. it started in middle school when he noticed all of the people liked sodapop more. from then on he couldn’t help but feel like soda was more attractive and charming, darry was stronger and smarter, two-bit was funnier and cooler, dallas was tougher and unbothered, johnny was more likeable and down-to-earth, and ponyboy was more creative and well spoken.

- addiction. there was a time in steve’s life where he was getting high every day. at first it was fun, but then he had to quit track because he wasn’t as athletic as he used to be. it ruined his health and motivation. he started working on cars more to keep himself busy, and it helped a lot, even got him a job.

- hyperindependence. steve’s biggest character flaw is that he can’t ask for help. whether it’s asking for help in school or asking for soda to hand him a tool in the garage, steve can’t bring himself to do ask. it makes him feel like he’s not good enough to do it on his own.

#the outsiders #steve randle #the outsiders headcanons #dallas winston #dally winston #ponyboy curtis #ponyboy x reader #steve randle x reader #dallas winston x reader #johnny cade #johnny cade x reader #two bit mathews x reader #two bit mathews #sodapop curtis x reader #sodapop curtis #darry curtis

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chaozsilhouette · 3 years

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A Father’s Love

Another piece for @winterpower98's Swap Au.

I don’t really have a time frame for this scene, but with all the horror MK has had to endure in this AU I couldn’t help myself. I just needed a bit of fluff to break up my writing. Plus, I am all for Tang showing just how much he loves MK and being a protective father figure.

The poor boy needs a break, but we all know it won’t last.

_____________________________

“Well now, aren’t you a stubborn human.” Sun Wukong mused as he took in the one who dared to separate him from his creation.

The ground was split in a dozen directions. Craters dotted the landscape. The scent of volatile magic soaked the air. Yet, in the center of all this was a small circle of undisturbed land where his boy and the human stood unharmed.

The human didn’t look particularly impressive. If he had to guess, somewhere in his early to late thirties. He was obviously healthy but still suffered from the weaknesses all humans share. No, what truly caught his attention was the strangest sensation he knew this human. Almost as if the golden fillet was readying itself by his mere presence.

The human’s talent in magic was nothing to scoff at. Admittedly, it was nothing he couldn’t brush off, but seeing a human wielding so much raw power was supposed to be nearly impossible in this modern age. However, defying the odds here one stood before him trying to keep him from one of his treasures.

He was not alone in his curiosity. The Monkey King watched as MK stared at the bespeckled man in utter surprise.

“Since when could you do that?!” The newly revealed monkie demon all but screeched.

“Not too long.” The scholar cryptically stated.

His annoyance at the lack of an answer freed Mk of his fear. Just enough to swallow his need to be supported during this horrible moment and say what needed to be said. “You’ve got to run! Forget about me and get the others to safety!”

“I’d listen to my son if I were you, human.” The tyrant stated with a cocky smirk. “Since he’s started to learn his lesson about where he belongs I can be generous. You can take all your friends back home to rest up and we can continue another day.”

With a trembling hand, MK desperately gripped Tang’s pant leg. Praying that his love would be translated behind his pathetic display. “Please. I can’t see you get hurt because of me.” They were the kindest people he ever had the pleasure of knowing. He couldn’t bear knowing they got hurt trying to save him. The only reason they were in this crisis was because of him. If he hadn’t been so weak...

If he didn’t allow himself to be used, Wukong would still be trapped.

“Mk, you know I can’t leave anyone behind to suffer this tyrant’s hospitality.” The word was hissed out with more venom than a viper pit. “Especially not after learning of Macaque’s past.” Tang adjusted his stance so his side now supported the youth. His fingers twitched randomly, his eyes remained locked onto the armored demon. “Besides, we both know Mei would gut the two of us if we even think of considering it.”

It made no sense. They were in the presence of a being that filled the nightmares of all, from the lowliest human to celestial kings, yet young simian couldn’t help but smile. “Good point.” Compared to the Monkey Tyrant the young dragon was an insect, but she had earned the fear that accompanied her ire.

“Such a touching display. But do you really think you will be able to give him what he needs? That others will accept who he really is? You can say you love him until the sun blows up, but it will never change the fact he is me.” The Monkey King’s smile showed nothing but cruel amusement, but his tail betrayed his fraying patience.

“Do you take me for a fool? It doesn’t matter what he looks like, where he came from, or how he started out. He is my Son! And I refuse to let anyone abuse his kind heart ever again!”

Two hands slammed into the ground with unnatural force. Mystic runes and circles filled the air as the battlefield was bathed in a gentle yellow light. Golden ropes wrapped around the Tyrant as the earth formed a five-sided fortress around him. Symbols were burned into each side, somehow not concealing the burning rage from Sun Wukong’s enraged expression.

With that done, Tang grabbed MK’s hand and ran knowing full well both their lives depended on it. “Come on! That won’t distract him for long.”

Or at all. They hadn’t cleared five meters before they started to rocks crumble and mystic bindings viciously snap.

Somehow the two of them were able to reunite with Macaque and Mei in order to get some much-needed distance without any major obstacles. It was silently agreed that the Moneky Tyrant had let them leave. Why? They didn’t want to think about it. All they could do was patch themselves up and think of a new plan.

_____________________________

Pigsy treated them all to a delicious meal, after yelling at the four of them for tangling with the Monkey King. About how they could have gotten killed and berating them for thinking about leaving them behind. Tang was certain Pigsy’s volume was the only reason Macaque looked uncomfortable.

That night they all stayed with Sandy. It was agreed that they should stick together until the heat dies down. Mei stepped out to call her parents to warn them about ... everything. While Macaque had essentially taken over as her father figure it didn’t mean her birth parents were no longer a target. Macaque aided Sandy in setting up the spare rooms. Piggy was just cleaning up dinner and preparing a few things for breakfast.

Leaving Tang to begin creating wards to hang around the boat and MK to uncomfortably sit as he stared at the scholar.

“Why did you do that?”

Tang pushed up his glasses, looking more grave than the teen ever recalled seeing.

“I was preparing that spell the moment I opened my mouth. I figured after that outburst it was only a matter of time before he got bored playing nice and when for the kill. Despite what movies would make you believe, talking is not a free action.” His precious disciples learned that lesson the hard way.

“No. I mean...when you said all that stuff, did you really mean it? You view me as a son?” MK could barely get the last word out. It felt like all of this was just a wonderful dream and when he awoke he’d be back on Flower Fruit Mountain.

Tang set down his brush to fully face the demon. “Of course, I mean it. I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t.” He poured his entire soul into that truth, a fact he was proud to scream to the heavens.

“Even when I look like this?” Sharing the same face of the demon who caused so much pain and suffering. He could barely stand it, but the thought of continuing to live in his human form just felt even more unbearable. He was tired of lies. Tired of being used.

“So you look like a demon monkey, big deal." Tang waved off the concern, regaining his trademark confident sass. "Last I checked, we are close with several demons one of which is a rather famous monkey. At your core, you are still the same MK we grew to know and care about. You may have started out as Wukong’s clone, but you have come a long way since then.”

Seeing that the boy was still unconvinced, Tang wrapped his arms around the child’s shoulders and brought him in for a hug. “You will always have a place with me, with any of us. You are loved and appreciated, Xiǎotiān. Never forget that.” Circles were slowly traced on his back as shaky breathing gradually evened out.

Xiǎotiān nuzzled his father’s neck. Taking in the scent of aged paper, ink, and tea. “Can I sleep with you tonight?”

“Of course.” Gentle fingers slowly combed through his hair.

The world was falling into the depths of madness, but in this moment Xiǎotiān could deceive himself into believing everything would work out.

#lego monkie kid #lmk #tang #sun wukong #qi xiaotian #monkie kid #past abuse #winterpower98 #monkie kid swap au #dad tang #Tang is Tripitaka #monkey tyrant

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buffintruder · 4 years

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can you imagine what the untamed would have been like from Lan Sizhui’s pov because that would have been so funny

like first of all, you’re just going about your regular business, hunting evil spirits with your squad, and you meet this guy who used to be part of the Jin sect but got kicked out and apparently is crazy and always wears a mask? but he’s also clearly being mistreated by his family, and you know that whatever got him kicked out, he does not deserve this humiliation and abuse

you feel sorry for him, even when he stomps a spirit-summoning flag into the ground and runs unprotected into the middle of a fight and generally causes mild distress and irritation to your fellow juniors.

except then it turns out he actually seems quite competent and he even figures out a lot of what’s going on with the goddess statue, and sure he has weird habits, but he is nothing like how Jin Ling describes his bastard uncle. also maybe he summoned and sent away the Ghost General with his flute? but that’s impossible because the Ghost General should be ash, and anyway, the only one who could control the Ghost General was—

And that’s not even the weirdest part, because then Hanguang Jun arrives. You are certain the two of them have not been close in the past, because surely he would have mentioned it, and besides, when would their paths even have crossed?

But Hanguang Jun is your adopted father/mentor figure, and even though he has shown you nothing but kindness, you know how stoic and reserved he is to the rest of the world. Yet he treats Mo Xuanyu with a care you have never seen him offer to anyone besides yourself and his brother. He is never like this around strangers, and you don’t understand what is going on.

(edit: now on ao3)

You part ways, then meet back up again not too long afterwards, and any pretense Hanguang Jun might have had at not being incredibly close to Mo Xuanyu dissolves. When they fight together at Yi City, there is a familiarity in the ease of their movements, the way they never have to look to make sure the other has his back. Sometimes when Hanguang Jun looks at Mo Xuanyu, you see more open emotion than you possibly have ever seen before. Hanguang Jun never flinches away from Mo Xuanyu’s touch.

Any pretense Mo Xuanyu might have had at being anything less than an expert cultivator also vanishes. He slips into the role of mentor and protector with ease, joking to keep all of you calm while he teaches you how to save your lives, always putting your safety above his. You wonder if it would be weird to consider a near-stranger fatherly.

He feeds your poisoned fellow Juniors ridiculously spicy congee, and it does cure them, despite all their complaining about how it murdered their mouths. You had tasted some when helping him make it, but even with how strongly it burned your tongue, there was a strange part of you liked it. For some reason it taste familiar, like home somehow, even though you have lived in the Lan sect for as long as you can remember and they only have bland, spiceless food.

That’s when the memories begin coming back, slow and weak, like a faint flute melody in the wind, too quiet to fully make out.

You do not remember your early childhood. This is hardly an unusual phenomenon, but you still feel its loss. You were not always a Lan. That development came when you were around four or five, according to what others have told you. Four seems an old enough age that you always thought that you should have at least some idea of what happened before, but you never have.

But now you have the faint impression of a different vendor in a different city selling a similar grass butterfly to the one you bought on impulse despite being far too old for toys. You think of the familiarity of congee, of the reedy melody you heard the night you met Mo Xuanyu and then again as the Ghost General stopped attacking the juniors and ran off into the trees. You have a handful of clues, but they paint no coherent picture.

These thoughts haunt you for three months, but since Mo Xuanyu returns to Cloud Recesses as you continue on your night hunts, there is nothing but the occasional sparks of familiarity around random items or phrases to fill in the missing parts.

And then the word comes out that Mo Xuanyu is actually Wei Wuxian, the Yiling Patriarch, the founder of demonic cultivation. This is the man who killed thousands, who betrayed the clans, who murdered his own family, including the parents of your—your friend? the boy you’ve run into a few times and survived life-or-death situations with?

Except when everybody else reacts with anger and fear, you... don’t. You can’t explain why, but the name Wei Wuxian brings an echo of comfort, half buried under all the horrible stories you’ve heard about him.

Part of you wonders if it has anything to do with the whispers of memories, that faint deja vu that has started haunting you. Or maybe it’s the way that Hanguang Jun has always turned sad at the mention of Wei Wuxian, how he never speaks a bad word about him despite their alleged rivalry. All your fellow juniors are terrified and furious and hurt at having been deceived, at having grown to like this eccentric man who teased them and saved their lives then turned out to be the monster from all their childhood bedtime stories, and even though you understand them, you feel none of that.

He saves all of you not too long afterwards, and you can’t say you are surprised. Even when all evidence pointed to him being the one to trap you and your friends in a cave for days, it never seemed quite right to you.

It was a set up you learn, as he and Hanguang Jun and the Ghost General save you from an army of corpses and reveal the true traitor. All those terrible deeds you’ve spent your whole life hearing about are not explained away, but this one is, and you have faith that Wei Wuxian is not the villain everyone has made him out to be.

His Ghost General, Wen Ning, certainly isn’t. A living corpse who has slaughtered armies sounds terrifying, but in reality he’s rather sweet. There is something so soft and hopeful in his eyes as he approaches you and asks you for his name. Your friends keep their hands on their swords, but you offer him a smile and an answer. There’s something familiar about him too.

Maybe that’s why you talk to him, despite the intense look in his eyes. Or maybe because he seemed so sad, alone, separated from everyone else, and the intensity seems anything but dangerous. “You—look like my cousin,” he says, and you start to wonder, everything so close to sliding into place.

You don’t know who your parents are or where you came from, but there is something about the clan name Wen that feels so close to something right, despite all the tales you’ve heard about the destruction they wrought.

Then he gives you a grass butterfly, so similar to the one you bought at the market, so similar to something you know was important to you long ago. And like one last pebble taken out from the base of a wall, this small token brings everything above it crumbling down, and suddenly the memories start spilling in. You look at him properly now, because this was your relative, and you once lived with and played with him. He sees the recognition in your eyes, you know, because he steps forward, trembling.

Of course, Jin Ling has to ruin the moment, but now that you know, there is nothing in the world that could keep you from talking to him and finding out more. You were a Wen, you think. You must have been raised in the Burial Grounds by Wei Wuxian, the Yiling Patriarch. You were one of the people he betrayed all the clans to protect. No wonder you never feared the stories of the monstrous Wens and Yiling Patriarch. How could you when they were your family, when you were one of them?

You never could have lived among the Lan Sect if people knew, so you understand why it had to remain a secret.

Still. You have to know more.

“Did Master Wei really put a five year old child in the soil like a turnip?” you ask Wen Ning, at the nearest opportunity. That child was you, and both of you know it, even if you can’t say it out loud, not this close to all these people who would be willing to turn on Wei Wuxian on any excuse, who would be willing to turn on you if they knew the truth.

Wen Ning smiles and nods, and there is more life in the glow of his eyes than any corpse has the right to have. “Just like this!” he says, gesturing, as sparks of memory come back even stronger than before.

And then of course everything goes wrong. Wen Ning throws you into the temple where all the leaders of the four main clans plus Wei Wuxian and Hanguang Jun and a few others are. Jin Guangyao is holding a thread around your friend’s (you think you can call him your friend by now) throat and there is blood, and so many secrets spilled, confessions made.

In the midst of it all, you see Wei Wuxian for the first time since you started to remember, and now there are more memories, sharper, clearer. You remember his spicy congee, the toy butterfly so similar to the ones you hold now that Hanguang Jun bought for you that day Wei Wuxian took you out into the city. Back then, you hadn’t really understood the significance of all those things, why you lived on a mountain full of buried bones, why Wei Wuxian hadn’t bought that toy himself, but now you are older and you know some of the history behind it. Not all of it, you are sure, since so many assumptions of the past have just been proven wrong tonight, and the history you were told had never mentioned the existence of a small child among the supposedly evil remnants of the Wen clan.

You do not know the full truth, but you want to.

Even once everything is over, with the enemies dead and gone, there are a million things going on, relationships being broken or repaired for the first time in over a decade, injuries to be treated, people to reassure that you are okay, that you made it out alive. It takes a bit for you to peel away from everything, to speak to Wei Wuxian, but you find Wen Ning, and the two of you manage to catch up before Wei Wuxian and Hanguang Jun can go far.

Your thoughts and memories are still chaotic and scattered, little bursts of images and sensations that only barely form a coherent picture. But you summon all your determination, sixteen years of questions that are now clamoring for answers in your brain. You take a deep breath. “I have something important that I must ask you.”

Your heart is pounding, and in the past few days, you have faced an army of fierce corpses and fought against the Ghost General (for which he has apologized a thousand times) and helped confront a master manipulator, and somehow this is the most terrifying thing you have done. You are so sure of the truth, but some part of you doubts. How can you truly be sure when you were so young? And even if the man in front of you helped raise so long ago, how can you know if he still has any affection for you, that he is willing to recognize you? These are irrational fears, you know, but they weigh heavily.

Still, you meet his gaze with eyes that are already starting to water and begin to speak of your long-buried memories, the words spilling out with more and more ease as you continue to talk, as his expression changes from confusion to something full of grief and slow realization.

“Wen was my surname,” you say, now confident of this fact, your previous doubts melted away in the face of Wei Wuxian’s teary eyes.

He looks away, blinking as if he can’t believe it and mutters, “Wen was your surname? Isn’t Lan your surname? Lan Sizhui... Lan Yuan... Lan Yuan.” Then he looks up at you with so much hope, full of a scared longing that you know is the same as what fills your own heart. “A-Yuan.”

It has been a lifetime since you last heard your name called out in that voice, and you wonder how you could have gone so long without even knowing you were missing it. You nod. Tears threaten to spill out of your eyes, but you can’t be bothered to fight them.

You can tell it doesn’t seem quite real to him, the way he looks so afraid to believe it. He thought you were dead this whole time, you realize when he turns to Hanguang Jun for confirmation. And that breaks your heart a little more. He had lost so much, and you had lost so much even if you weren’t fully aware of it, but now you have found each other all over again, and the miraculousness of that is almost too much to bear.

You rush forward to hug him, sixteen years of Lan propriety forgotten. You are a child again, clinging onto a man you have always loved, except you are also an adult with so many years of separation only hitting you now that you are finally reunited. You are both and neither, and as his arms come up to wrap around you, you know that all that matters is that you are home.

#the untamed #lan sizhui #lan yuan #wei wuxian #lan zhan #lan wangji #wen ning #wen yuan #my post #my writing #mo dao zu shi #mdzs

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beatles-slash-fiction · 3 years

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Can we get an angsty poly!beatles one with the others being protective with george? Like he’s in an abusive relationship or something

WARNING: mentions of abusive relationship, forced marriage, non con

*****

George should never have taken the photos.

He should never have suggested bringing his camera into the bedroom to the boys. He should never have taken so many filthy photos with their faces clearly visible.

He should have been more careful. He should have made sure he packed his camera instead of leaving it lying around the hotel room like a fucking idiot.

George completely forgets about it until two weeks later, when the road manager from the record label who accompanied them on the tour hands the camera back to him.

His name is Steve Davies, and George has never really cared much for him.

“I found it and kept it safe for you,” Steve says with a grin, handing George the camera. “I also got the photos developed for you.”

George’s stomach sinks.

He feels sick as Steve hands him an envelope of photos, and the room starts spinning. Maybe he didn’t look at them. Maybe Steve didn’t see them-

But then Steve leans in to whisper in George’s ear. “I didn’t realise the four of you were so perverted.”

This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening this can’t be happening this can’t be happening-

“Please,” George says in a shaky voice, not sure of what else to say.

If these photos got out, it would be the end of their careers. He would have to watch the three people he loves most be humiliated and lose everything, and it would all be his fault. All because of his stupidity.

“What do you want?” George asks, and he’s never felt so scared in his life when he sees the look on Steve’s face.

******

George breaks up with the boys the next day.

“You have to make it sound believable,” Steve tells him. “Like it’s your idea.”

It’s the most heartbreaking thing George has ever had to do.

He tells them he doesn’t want to mix his personal life with work. He tells them his relationship with them is becoming a distraction. He tells them he still loves them, but he just thinks they work better as friends.

George will never forget the looks on their faces. They look as devastated as he feels.

Luckily they still want to be friends. George is grateful that he’ll at least get to keep John, Paul and Ringo in his life.

Steve tells him to wait two months before telling the boys about their relationship. They don’t want it to look suspicious.

The fact that none of the boys suspect anything is wrong upsets George even more. He knows he can’t let them know, but they just smile and tell him they’re happy for him. They know Steve after all; it isn’t the most outlandish thing that could happen.

“Didn’t really ever think of him as your type,” Ringo comments softly. “But I’m glad you’re with a good bloke.”

If only they knew.

*****

The wedding takes place six months later.

George is a better actor than he thought. It’s only a small wedding, but it’s still a lot of effort to look happy. It’s still painful to make it look like this is what he wants.

He wants to scream. He wants to tell everyone that he’s marrying a man he hates, a man who is blackmailing him and makes him do the most awful things.

But instead George pretends this is the happiest day of his life.

*****

As the months pass, George tries to tell himself that this isn’t a terrible marriage.

Steve treats him well and lets him continue with his music. He only gets a little agitated if George spends too much time with the boys, but what husband wouldn’t. And Steve buys George the most amazing gifts- cars and antiques and a nice house with a massive garden.

“Didn’t he buy you this with your money?” Paul asks with a frown when George shows him his new car.

George just shrugs and says it’s a nice gesture.

The boys all seem a bit concerned about the amount of control Steve has over George’s money, but George just tells them it’s an arrangement he’s happy with.

It’s a marriage he can almost put up with. He gets to spend most of his time in the studio or on tour, and when he’s home he spends most of his free time in the garden. Steve is pleasant enough when they are together, and in bed George closes his eyes and imagines it’s John, Paul or Ringo fucking him.

It’s a bearable life.

Until The Beatles break up.

*****

When the band splits up, George spirals into a deep depression.

He no longer gets to see the boys on a regular basis, and he has to spend more time with his husband.

John in particular seems concerned by how upset George is, and he even comes to the house to see him, but Steve sends John away under the pretence that George doesn’t want to see anyone.

It’s utterly heartbreaking.

“You’ll get over all this,” Steve tells George, giving him a kiss. “We can focus more on our marriage now. Perhaps a baby will settle you.”

George sobs quietly into his pillow once Steve falls asleep.

******

When George falls pregnant, he really doesn’t know how to feel.

The baby is a constant reminder of this horrible marriage he’s trapped in, and as his bump grows bigger, he can’t help but imagine how different his life could have been.

He knows he never could have been in a public relationship with all three of the boys, but maybe he could have married one of them. Had a family with one of them.

He thinks about this when Ringo comes to visit him, and when Ringo places his hands on George’s bump, George wishes that this were their baby kicking between them.

He wants his baby to have a happy family. A happy home.

He nearly tells Ringo right then. He nearly tells Ringo that he hates his husband and wishes he could leave him.

But instead George thinks of those photos, locked in a desk drawer in Steve’s office, and keeps his mouth shut.

*****

Dhani is the best thing that’s ever happened to George.

Having a baby really does distract George a little from all the other crap in his life, and George has never loved anyone more.

George loves being a parent; Steve praises him for being a natural. George’s love and adoration for Dhani grows more and more as their son gets older, and that’s when George starts to wonder what would happen if he could go back in time and do it all differently.

He could go back and choose never to take those photos, and then he’d never have to be with Steve.

But then he wouldn’t have Dhani.

Steve is a surprisingly attentive and loving father. Dhani is the only thing that him and George really have in common; they celebrate their son’s successes together, and share their concerns any time he’s upset or something isn’t going right.

It’s probably the closest George has ever felt to being in a proper marriage.

*****

When Dhani turns eighteen, they host a birthday dinner for him.

Steve allows George to invite all of the boys, and it’s the first time the four of them have been together since the band broke up.

It feels so good to be with them again. George feels like he’s twenty-one and in love all over again, and he hasn’t laughed like this in so long.

“Do you love dad?” Dhani asks the next day when the two of them are in the garden together.

“Of course,” George lies, not looking his son in the eye.

“I always thought you did,” Dhani says. “But now I’m not so sure.” He reaches over to cover George’s hand with his own. “Does he abuse you?”

George finally looks at his son, frowning.

He thought he’d hidden it so well.

“He doesn’t hit me,” George says.

“That’s not what I asked,” Dhani replies softly.

George can’t bring himself to say anything else, and he doesn’t have to. Dhani knows.

“We’ll figure this out,” Dhani tells him. “Whatever it is that’s been going on...we’ll figure this out. I promise.”

George starts to sob as Dhani wraps his arms around him, feeling more free than he has done in years.

#poly!beatles #mpreg #tw forced marriage #tw abusive relationship #tw non con

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life-rewritten · 3 years

Text

Manner of D*eath (MOD); Hansel and Gretel, Victims or Victors?

I don't know if anyone is like that shocked by the ending of episode 10 of MOD, I mean I think we can all tell it was fake, and I think we also are coming to terms with the villains/ the actual suspect of Jane being revealed. I don't think the show is still mysterious or still has so many hidden plot twists left. If there is then, I'll be happier. Anyway, episode 10 was intense and crazy in terms of what was shown on screen however as always I try to show you how the show gives you clues apart from piecing together what's on the surface, about the MOD of the characters, their actions, choices and who the suspect is and what their plans are now? We get a new fairytale, and can I just say I am loving the use of these fairytale meta for the show: this time Hansel and Gretel foreshadows the secrets of episode 10, clues to our villain and more deeper looks into family dynamics and dimensionality of our characters especially Tan. At the end of episode 10, Tan is forced to eliminate the person he loves (calling back to Little Mermaid analysis here that foreshadowed this) and also becomes a victim to a powerful person that has him entrapped with no escape. So I have a lot to say about these two fairy tales again and why MOD is creative when it uses them, how it makes things more fun to analyse and watch see unfold. Let's begin:

Hansel and Gretel: Victims or Victors

So as always you get a small recap of the fairy tale from me. If Little Mermaid was about forbidden love and betrayal and sacrifice, Hansel and Gretel is more about torn families, more betrayals, trickery, trauma and plot twists. Let's recap: Hansel and Gretel are the children of a very push over dad, with a very cruel mother figure, when a famine occurs in the land, the father is forced to let his wife discard their children in an abandoned forest, left to fend for themselves, so there is more food for their neglectful parents. Hansel though is brilliant, so he overhears and discovers the truth and prevents his sister and him from being lost at first using pebbles to find his way back home. However, the mother continues to send them out and abandon them; unfortunately, Hansel tries again to do so, but he uses bread crumbs as a way to track and sadly has bread crumbs eaten by birds, so he loses his way back home. So after they wander in the forest now fully scared of their situation, they get lured in by a candy house, which has the food they want and is sweet, it's owned by this older woman who is seen as sweet to kids, and friendly and protective.

However, once they enter the house, Hansel is imprisoned and is going to be eaten by this blood thirsty witch(the older woman's true form). So Hansel has to find again a way to trick her into thinking he's not yet ready to be eaten, he uses a bone to make her believe he's still not eating well enough to be plump for cooking. However, the witch grows impatient and decides to eat him just like that. But instead of just Hansel, she also decides she wants both the siblings. Gretel is still able to walk around and also the witch is blind, so she struggles to see, and she's slow to things. She tries to trick Gretel into entering the oven so that she can eat her, but Gretel like her brother is smarter. So she knows what to do, she ends up tricking the witch into thinking she needs help entering the oven and the witch in annoyance bends down to check the issue and ends up being pushed into the fire and burns. Gretel frees Hansel they discover a lot of treasure at this witch's home, and they take it and go back home with the help of a swan (I don't really understand how it found them and led them home, but you know it's a fairytale) and they reunite with their father who apologises for being a pushover, he didn't want to let what happened to them happen, but the woman forced him to do so, now their mother/stepmother, was eliminated by the famine and so she wasn't there no longer to abuse them and make him do things he didn't want to do. Hansel and Gretel because of the treasure they found, live successfully, wealthy and happily ever after with their father. The end.

First, it's not as romantic as Little Mermaid is it? I feel like Little Mermaid was more dramatic, painful and sad and had many selfless characters. But Hansel and Gretel is interesting. One, as Tan calls out it's not a romantic storyline, it's about siblings, but Bun and Tan (one of our mirrors of Hansel and Gretel) aren't siblings, you know they're lovers, and so that's also interesting. However, I find it really fascinating and interesting that Tan does mention that because it's important later on in again helping unveil who the villain is. I'll explain later on. Let's look at what we should focus on when talking about this fairytale.;

1. Hansel and Gretel were victims of family dysfunction; they had an abusive family member who was looking for a way to get rid of them no matter what because of selfishness and greed and lack of love. 2. Hansel tries to survive his fate three times, by being smart and creative about how to escape his situations. The third time Gretel is the one who helps him escape. 3. Things that seem sweet and protective are actually not but traps for someone else's gain. The witch was trying to look like someone who was trusting for kids and who had what they need to run away but she actually wanted to get rid of them and keep surviving and being strong. 4. The witch is blindsided by Gretel because of her little weaknesses and her ability to overlook the kids. 5. Hansel and Gretel survive their trauma by trickery, cunningness and thinking ahead. They reunite with their family member and get rid of the witch (the powerful source holding them hostage), they gain money, wealth, and love by the end of the story.

Alright so let's keep those in mind and carry on with analysing the past episodes 7-10.

Family Dysfunctions and Cruel Abandonments

So I found it really interesting, in episode 10 when Tan starts to speak about his plans for his mother in the past, his relationship with Por and his relationship with Pued. We knew the family was going to be a focus because Tan, Pued and Por looked dysfunctional and also had severely different dynamics with each other. First of all, Tan and Pued apparently were loyal to each other by default; they loved each other despite disagreeing and fighting; they'd do anything as long as the other is safe. Pued may be this horrible person that we unveiled him to be, but he did have some kind of heart, and he did care about Tan, Bun and maybe even Jane though I don't want to say that about him. Pued paid attention to Tan despite his other family members abandoning him and leaving him as a puppet with no love and no care.

In fact, once Pued is eliminated and Por has a chance to react, Por immediately closes his mind and abandons Tan because he had no love, loyalty or trust for him. He's been looking for a way to get rid of Tan from the beginning. Who does that sound like? It sounds like the mother in Hansel and Gretel. The thing in the fairytale is that it's not evident if the mother is their blood mother or if she is a stepmother or if she's even the witch they later encounter there to lure them and get rid of them. But I'm seeing her like Por, someone who is forced to deal with Hansel and his sister not because she loves them but because she had to put up with them because of the father. The father is a failing figure like Tan's father; he's put the children under the care of someone who doesn't even care or respect them enough. And that's how Por treated Tan. So Family dysfunction is real in Hansel and Gretel, and Tan like Hansel is also deserted by a family in 7-10 as he struggles to stay safe and fend for himself and his lover. And the thing is it's messed up because Por loves Pued so much despite knowing how cruel Pued can be, (Por knows about Rung and Pued's involvement in the drug ring) but for Tan, he sees him as a nuisance, someone who's taking from him not helping him, same as Hansel's 'mum' saw him and his sister. And it makes you wonder what kind of family can become this way, why are people so cruel and why do they not treat people equally with respect. Just like the mother is the one who put Hansel and Gretel in danger, and she ensured it because remember they tried to come back and she sent them off, even more, deeper into the forest. Por also did the same thing, he chased cruelly after Tan and wanted to get of rid of him for Pued twice after he discovered Tan escaped from jail. Make it make sense. Like that's your family member.

Anyways so that's the first reason Hansel and Gretel were mentioned. But before I continue, I also wanted to bring up that Tan and Bun weren't the only mirrors for this character. That as always being Tan's shadow character also actually held more resemblance to the kids, he's younger, he's also imprisoned, and he had a girl to protect and watch over like a sister;Nam. Nam and That try to escape this episode with That being the one to make up the way for them to run away, but they get caught. I just wanted to show that imagery as well and connect it to Hansel and Gretel because as Tan mentioned, they weren't lovers, they were siblings.

However I think there's two more people not mirroring them but is being foreshadowed by them, that's Rungtiwa and Pued. Hear me out before you get confused. In episode 9 Rungtiwa that witch, she said that Pued, Tan are like brothers to her. And it made me laugh because obviously using little mermaid analysis, Rungtiwa and Pued were having an affair, and she's the one probably who got rid of him. Also when Pued was eliminated Por said only a family member knew about his condition, well Rung knew about it because she was acting one on the surface like a sister figure to him, but also she was his lover probably. But why I think it's interesting, it's because Tan misunderstands if Hansel and Gretel could have been lovers before Bun corrects him, and since Tan and Bun are mirroring them, I also think Tan was also foreshadowing the confusion and connection of Rung and Pued. People think like Hansel and Gretel, she's a sibling figure to him, but actually, she was his lover theoretically. Just like Tan confused the dynamics between the two siblings. Some people who are meant to be seen as 'siblings'/'friends' are probably more. That's just me just picking on things. Let's continue with what the show is showing in episode 10 through this fairy tale.

Futile Escapes and Cunning Mindsets

In episode 7-10, Tan has to had to escape a situation he was set up in just like with Hansel in the fairy tale trying to protect Gretel. Can I first mention how similar the roles of Hansel and Tan are in the protection role. They have to be one step ahead, to protect the person with them, like Tan has to use the information he knows to protect Bun and escape Por. So like Hansel, Tan has to escape his situation three times before see him fail entirely in episode 10's ending. The first time he gets set up is jail where he is beaten and has to use his strength and will to stay safe until he's bailed out, the second time he escapes is his own house with Bun because Por wants to get rid of him, and the third time he's in danger is at the cottage house (he ran to, to think ahead, also the house Bun calls a trap/candy house this episode) where he again has to escape by hurting Bun and getting eliminated at the end of the episode.

By the end of episode 10, like Hansel also captured in the iron prison with no way of escape, Tan also ends up having no way to escape and is shot and pushed of a cliff on the run. He basically has a reached a point where all his energy and hard work to protect has been for nothing. Like Hansel realising the witch losing her impatience meant he and Gretel were both doomed, he couldn't protect her anymore. Just like Tan with Bun realised, he couldn't save Bun anymore; he couldn't save him self anymore, they were truly imprisoned by a powerful source. Obviously this is what the show is saying on the surface, that Tan and Bun like Hansel and Gretel became victims with no way out. And it's depressing if you let your self follow the storyline, it makes it even more scary and sad when you see both Bun and Tan get shot by people they trust like Inspector M. So Hansel and Tan both find themselves in a place where they can't use anything else anymore to escape and run away from their troubles, they're screwed by the end of the story at first. And things look dark for a while until Gretel shows up. This is why I think Bun like Gretel also has used his own mindset to think of way out, and be one step ahead. But before I explain about that, let' talk about our suspects, our powerful sources and our witch.

Candy Houses and Powerful Sources

These three previous episodes of MOD have been a ride. We unveiled that the Police Commander and Mayor are dangerous and will do whatever happens to ensure their secrets aren't unveiled. Like being happy to frame Tan for something, he didn't do. I just want to keep repeating however that they are not the suspect we are looking for, they're the red herrings, they're baddies but actually not that threatening. They don't like to take a life, apart from maybe Pat but they don't normally use that as a way of power, they're cowards, they do kidnaps, shipping people of, framing etc. but to actually use their hands to take a life is not on their agenda. That's why they're not the suspects of Jane's MoD, or Pued's either. I think they're being shown now because they're meant to represent one of the links to the witch in Hansel and Gretel, Power. But they're not the actual witch.

Let me explain more, you can see they don't get their own hands dirty, they have puppets to do so for them, for example, Tan to get rid of Bun, Inspector M to get rid of Tan, they're not the ones who used their own hands to take Jane's life, they either had a puppet do it (Pued), or they didn't know she was going to be eliminated yet. My theory is yeah, they had Pued do it, but they also had Rungtingwa who they underestimated. So I don't want to spend all the time talking about these two like I said we find out how wealthy and powerful the witch was in the tale and how her demise led to Hansel and the family living happily and successfully. Getting rid of the mayor and police commander will do a lot of good for the people at the end of episode 10, it'd promote Inspector M (if he is on the good side like I'm suspecting), it'd also give freedom to Tan and Bun and raise their reputation in a good way. Those powerful forces won't be able to hold them captive anymore. But LR you say, isn't Tan and Bun gone? Didn't Inspector M go bad and shoot Tan? Yeh, that's what the show is showing on the surface, but as I'm slowly getting to, the plot is shadowed by Hansel and Gretel, tricksters, cunning mindsets, one step ahead, it's foreshadowing; a ploy and M is part of that. But I'm getting ahead of my self, let's focus on Rungtingwa and her witchy ways.

So in episode 9, Rung starts showing up again. In fact, she's our prominent supporter, she helps bail Tan out of jail, and she believes in him like a brother wholeheartedly, she calls Por out on his behaviour and callousness, and she also shakes her head at the police for their slowness with her sister's case. She's so elegant and pretty and smart and protective. She is the family member Tan needs in his life; she cares about them so much. In episode 10, she's even more of a saint-like at first. Because you got to start soon realising things aren't adding up a bit with her. One she's trusted by the police that they send her girls who are in need of money, home, safety to stay at her spa because they were going to be arrested to investigate their illegal whereabouts, this well off company that protects and keeps them taken care of.

Only all of a sudden for those same women to be transported to the mayor and the police commander to be abused and drugged repeatedly. Getting it? Rung's candy house is her spa. Like with Hansel and Gretel, the witch doesn't first show up as a witch to them, no she lures them in with the idea of one protection (they didn't have anywhere else to go), provision (they were starving and her house was made of cakes, bread etc.) and prevention (of them being alone, of their lives etc.), Rungtiwa shows up and does just the same thing. She offers protection by helping Tan leave the jail, and calling him her brother, a family member that he craves for because of his own dysfunctional relationship with Por. She offers him provision of information, she offers not just them but the women and the police a space for the women who think they're safe with her in her spa, food, and anything they want. And she offers them prevention because these women weren't meant to be running away or being shipped, don't remember properly what the mayor said, but this was meant to be a safe spot for them, they were wowed by her spa, they felt comfortable and at peace. Like Hansel and Gretel were the first time they entered the candy house.

But looks are deceiving which is Rung's link to the tale. The witch sheds her skin and transforms into someone who's not only blood thirsty, (Rung is our suspect and has probably gotten rid of two people her sister and her ex-lover) and someone who only lures people in for her benefit, for her greed, power, satisfaction, strength. Remember Rung like Pued is doing all of this for power and reputation, and she's hiding the truth so she can be saved and protected by society because she's innocent. And the thing she's cold-hearted, she doesn't care about anyone in episode 9 she stands up for Tan and believes he's not the suspect (well because she knows he's not she is), but then she switches in episode 10, she blames him for taking the life of Pued in front of M and she says it in an anxious and shocking way that the brothers were this awful to each other when she said previously she knows Tan didn't do it. It's how she covers her self, how she hides who she is, as the witch to lure the kids. Hansel and Gretel weren't the first kids taken by this witch, that's what the bone was remnants of another kid eaten and destroyed by her. Rung is like that she leaves trails of people being discarded wherever she goes, she plots, and she plans her own way out. And if Pued wants to talk, then she has to get rid of him. This is why I know she knows who helped her take her sister's life. Sigh. But again I commend her villainy. She's cruel, but it's very very wanted in a villain, she isn't weak, and she doesn't let people get in her way. That's w a villain hatis meant to be. Right now she's winning because no one has suspected it's her, but I think she forgot one thing like the witch; Gretel, but also she was blindsided. Let me explain

Shocking Additions and Sneaky Weaknesses

Rung didn't expect Inspector M to be one of her weak spots. In episode 10, Inspector M discovered some of the truth and started to notice that he was in a corrupted system. Right now, Commander is thinking Inspector M is on his side and has given into corruption because of fear and power however no matter how dumb he is, Inspector M has always been for justice that's his flaw and character, like Bun he's been trying to do the right thing. Now he's slowly piecing together that some people are not to be trusted in this scenario; for example, Rung's spa because she's aiding the commander in hiding those girls. She underestimated him, and that's going to be her downfall.

Also, the commander and mayor are ruined because they've let in someone also in a mask, Inspector M is working with Tan and Bun to hide their plans. So like Hansel, Tan has found a way to think one step ahead. Like Gretel Bun has let himself be the one that is sacrificed as a guise actually to sacrifice the witch, to lure all of them out in their pride and triumph, to expose them. Tan pretended to get rid of Bun this episode 10, to make everyone involved calm and weak and unsuspecting and that's important, that's how Gretel tricks the witch, however, the witch's blindsight is pointing to Rung and the others not knowing Inspector M is involved and is determined to help solve the crime and find the suspect. So Tan, Bun, M have all joined together to find a way to expose the powerful sources and get rid of their captors also to save the other people especially Nam and That. So everyone who is still in shock by episode 10, know this, Hansel and Gretel is about being one step ahead, Tan and Bun are one step ahead of the chase, the only way to win and overcome their captors was to surrender or pretend to surrender (like Gretel and Hansel did) and next week all of them will start to crumble one by one. But if you're still worried about how the show will end, then focus on the ending of Hansel and Gretel

Triumphant Victors and Enhanced Reputations

So let's review the ending to make you all calm down.

One Hansel and Gretel come out alive, they get rid of the witch. Everyone is safe. That's important to know Tan and Bun, That hopefully as well (not sure about him though) are safe, they're going to be okay.

Two they get rid of the witch, Inspector M will get his answer and find the culprits.

Three, they reunite with people, especially family and are seen in a different way, apologised to and taken care of. Tan and Por will reunite, and the truth of Pued will come out, making Por realise the error of his ways. Tan will reunite with his family and get the love he wanted and craved.

Four they end up all successful, happy and wealthy. I think this one is pretty obvious getting rid of the powerful sources of the town opens up places for change and for more people to be put in authority. Bun's words will be taken seriously and respected. Tan gets a job he's happy with, and M will probably be promoted. In a way, M is also like the father figure that needs to apologise and say he's sorry because he's also been like Por neglectful and troublesome, an obstacle and so he also needs to agree he's wrong and reunite his friendship with Bun.

So Hansel ends up actually surviving after being helped by others to get to his destination and reunite with his family again. Tan will finally have that happy life he wanted, and he no longer has to be a puppet for others and do things without his will. He also has love differently, he also has Bun, and the two husbands can go back and be domestic and happy solving other issues and crimes whilst mourning Jane and maybe others and letting her go peacefully.

So you see why I love fairy tale meta? It helps you uncover the truth, leads you to knowing why they add some dialogues or hints in the show. It also reveals the facades of people who are not what they seem. Rung is getting away with everything she does, and we the audience picked up on it in the surface, we also probably understood it was a staged event that Tan shot Bun but it's nice to have something else that shows you the show is clever and one step ahead. When I first heard Hansel and Gretel, I panicked because I was like what do you mean Hansel and Gretel like that's sibling bond, I don't know what similarities they could possibly have with the show like Little mermaid made so much sense because I could tell Tan would be forced to get rid of Bun, and that's a theme in the fairytale. Still, Hansel and Gretel, I couldn't put my mind to it. And yet here we are, the show is brilliant, there is meta, there is foreshadowing not just with on the surface clues but also with subtext, there's a reason why the plots in episode 10 went the way they did, there's a reason why we ended up hearing about certain things, and I think that's a good sign of a good show, more in-depth and thoughtful. So I can't wait to see the reveal that our husbands are okay and they are going to win this battle however we still have four episodes so maybe let's not yet get comfortable. I still hold on to my theory. Pued is one of the suspects of Jane, and Rung helped him, but she also is the one who got rid of him. If not, maybe someone else Oat? Haha, but no seriously I would really love another plot twist. But I also like the show having layers and being so thrilling every episode, always making us want more. Well done to the cast and crew for a good BL, unique, smart, and one step ahead. I enjoy it. Thank you.

#manner of death #mod #tanbunn #tanbun #cwg #january #maxtul #thai bl #bl series #bl drama

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clickbait-official · 3 years

Text

mbc

from @artwitch28's headcannons

masterlist

tw: implied/referenced abuse, depressive themes, and transphobia

---

Endeavor was a stuck up little bitch.

Not that a lot of people knew.

Oh well. He’ll get his revenge one day.

Touya sighs, setting his keys on the counter.

“Keigo! I’m home!”

The house was big- airy, if that was a word. Birdboy hated closed spaces. Touya couldn’t blame him, either; he couldn’t stand anything that looked like his “training” room.

There was a thunk upstairs as Keigo ran down to greet him.

“How was work? How was Dad?” He asks.

“Dad”, Atsuhiro Sako, was Touya’s adopted dad. They worked together under their agency, the League of Heroes. The League of Heroes were made up of heroes who were told they were villains, or considered outcasts.

“It was alright, Big sis Magne started asking people if they wanted interns.” Touya responds to his fiance.

Keigo comes up behind him, hugging him and wrapping his wings around Touya.

“Hmmm. Did you look for an intern, dove? You could get your brother~”

“I didn’t think about it, no. But there’s Toga already. Did you?”

Touya can feel Keigo smile into his shoulder.

“There’s one with a bird quirk.”

“Oh, I see.” Touya smirks.

His stomach rumbles as he does.

“Aww, does my little birdie need some food?” Keigo says, a twinkle in his eye. “I’ll go get you some.”

He grabs his hand and leads him to the kitchen.

They look through the fridge, then the freezer.

“Chinken nuggets?” Keigo asks, after a beat of silence.

“You did not just reference that, again.”

And Keigo laughs, loud and clear. Touya thinks it’s the prettiest thing he’s ever heard.

God, he’s in deep, isn’t he?

They sit together at the counter while they wait for the food to cook. They don’t talk for a bit, just enjoying each other’s company.

“Speaking of Shoto, how’s the family? Rumi’s been talking ‘bout Fuyumi a lot.” Keigo says, taking the pan out of the oven.

“Oh my goodness- remember that crusty kid I was talking to you about? He’s dating Natsuo.” Touya deadpans, and Keigo bursts into giggles.

“God, he could do so much better! And he chose the crustiest kid on this side of Japan!” He rants, Keigo staring from across the table.

“Hana’ll kill you for that.”

Touya sighs again, knowing that he was right. “Yeah, I know. I still don’t know why Natsuo chose her crusty brother, but he’s happy. And it gets him out of the house, too.”

Keigo nods. “Away from Endeavor.”

“Away from Endeavor.”

They sit for a while in silence at that. Touya knows Keigo used to idolize Endeavor, and he knows why.

God, out of all people, couldn’t Keigo have a good childhood?

At least he’s not hurting now.

The sun has fallen, and they’re laying on their bed.

The moonlight filters through the curtains. Keigo’s been asleep for a while now.

The slightest breeze drifts into the room.

If we lived in a harsher world, we’d be so much more cruel.

Oh, what a beautiful night to be alive with you.

---

Touya brings Keigo into the agency. He’d been curious about how it worked- the League was unprecedented.

Touya hoped he’d want to join too. He wouldn’t mind his soon-to-be husband patrolling with him.

Hero work is a dangerous game to play, after all.

The League of Heroes’s building is not very intimidating. It’s survived thunderstorms, 52 mental breakdowns (not by the same person), and now the prank the entire League is in on.

It’s time for the hero charts.

Showtime.

It had taken so much bribing, from the poor intern that worked for one of the higher ups, to one of the higher ups themselves.

Touya could only hope it was worth it.

Oh, it was worth it.

On live television, in front of nearly the entire world, Enji Todoroki, known as Endeavor, had gotten massively pranked.

First, it was the glitter. Then, the water balloons and the rainbow slime. After that, it was the chicken and the three fire extinguishers.

And of course, copious amounts of cheese.

And it was all filmed. It was all broadcasted to a live audience.

Oh- and everyone knew who did it.

But there was no evidence.

God, Touya loved trashing Endeavwhore (and that’s an insult to sex workers).

It was the night after when Twice suggested something Touya had never thought of before.

The night was young, fireflies just beginning to come out. They were on the balcony, drinking and catching up like family would.

“Hey,” He said, “Why don’t you sue him? Get your bro outta that place and over here.”

Twice was a genius.

Twice was a goddamn genius.

Headlines were all over the place. “Endeavor gets sued?” “Enji Todoroki- an abusive piece of shit?” “Endeavor loses custody!”

God, the journalists were having a fucking field day with this. Touya can’t blame them, though.

The day was beautiful. Birds were singing, flowers were blooming, and little kids were running around outside. Keigo was sitting next to him, listening to his music. Touya finished up some paperwork to finally, finally get his siblings out from under Endeavor.

Thankfully, there was enough evidence to prove he was at least neglectful. People could finally see just how much of an asshole he was, and how high his civilian casualty and endangerment rates are.

There was one teeny, tiny, thing.

The Commission.

The only reason Endeavor was still in the top ten is because of that fucking Commission.

God, he hated the Commission. The things they did to Keigo, the scars that still remain on his psyche.

Fuck the Commission.

It just- It made him so angry. The way Toga and Spinner were treated, how Twice wasn’t able to get help until he became a hero- God, he hated it.

And he didn’t even know how bad it was! He was sheltered from Quirkist attitudes. Well, as sheltered as you can be, living with Endeavor as a dad.

He only knew a little bit of how much they had suffered under this system. He knew there was something more to how Twice always stayed in his hero costume, or how Magne avoided that one part of town. How Toga stared at that one schoolyard for a little too long before walking away.

And he hated it. So, so much.

Fuck the Commission.

---

It’s Touya’s first free day. The hecticness of moving all of his sibling’s stuff into their house was crazy. Who knew that keeping a house was so hard? Not him, that’s who.

So, like any rational person, he goes out to catch up with a close friend.

He had met her during his time at U.A. Her name was Hana Shimura. They bonded through their shitty parents. She was the older sister of the crusty fuck, Tenko.

Why did Natsuo decide to date him? He'll never know.

Somehow or another, the conversation went from how their days went to when Tenko got his quirk.

“Yeah, he decayed the dog! Thankfully he froze up after, so I got Mom. If he didn’t freeze up, I’d be dead.”

The way she had said it- so casually...She probably was terrified at the time.

“There was a UA student that helped him, too. Oboro? I think that was his name...Anyway, Oboro really helped him! He’s kinda a father to him, if I’m being honest.” She went on, telling Touya how proud of Tenko she was.

How he had become a search and rescue hero, which he already knew, and using his quirk he had helped so many people! Because he can decay the debris trapping civilians and rescue them!

They walk down the street, still talking about their siblings and generally how life was going.

They were gonna meet up with Twice. There was a new restaurant that he noticed during his patrols.

Touya heard it was pretty good from Fuyumi and Rumi.

It looked pretty nice, too. He’d walked by it a few times.

“So how is Twice, anyway? I don’t hear much from him these days.” Hana says, pushing open the door to the restaurant.

“Guess you’ll find out, huh?”

Twice is sitting at an empty table in a corner. He was smart enough to change out of his hero costume, just like Touya and Hana.

He lifts his head as they get closer to the table.

“Hey guys! How’ve you been!” He greets them as they sit down.

“Good, good. We were talking about my brother, Tenko.” Hana says. Touya nods in agreement.

“And also how he got to be a hero, too.”

“Did I ever tell ya how I got to be a hero?” Twice asks them, barely containing a smile.

He never told them, well, not Touya.

Turns out, when he was having trouble with his Quirk, one of his doubles went and got a hero license. At the time he was barely of the streets, so he became a hero, joining up with Mr. Compress and Magne to create the League of Heroes.

Because why not? It kept him off the streets and he could help people like him.

A win-win for Twice.

Touya hated how his weird uncle was treated before he became a hero.

Because he was a person, like anyone else. Just a person.

So why was he treated so differently? Why didn’t people help him when he needed it?

God, Touya was so tired.

---

It’s late one night. Touya is alone with his adopted father.

“Dad, why’d you decide to be a hero?” He asks out of the blue.

Atsuhiro’s eyes mist over, and Touya worries for him. Touya’s told him all about the horrific shit he’s gone through, and he can’t help but wonder if he had gone through something horrible too.

Atsuhiro takes out a silver locket, and gently pries it open. He points at the picture inside.

“Look! It’s them…My perfect little family... That’s them! There’s my little girl, and the most beautiful person to ever exist. There they are…”

It’s silent for a moment, the only thing one could hear were the cicadas far away from here.

Touya opens his mouth, “What...What happened to them?”

“A hero. He didn’t care for protocol. He killed- He killed them! And no one believed me…” Atsuhiro trails off, looking down at the floor.

Touya can’t help but feel sorrow, too. He could’ve had a mom, another sister...

He really needs to stop adopting people.

He can’t imagine the pain Mr. Compress must’ve been in. To lose a lover, a child? Oh, it must hurt- so, so much. To lose what was essentially a part of you?

Oh, it hurts to even imagine.

“...They’re really pretty, Dad.”

“They...were both so beautiful in this picture. Toga reminds me of her, y’know? They are both so pretty, so grown-up, and have that same sense of humor…”

Touya’s not sure to who he’s referring to, but nods anyway.

Who’s he to question grieving old men?

“And the days fly by so fast now, I can’t help but feel as though I’m supposed to be insulted by it. But I can’t bring myself to care anymore…It hurts, Touya, it hurts. Sometimes...I can hardly bring myself out of bed...I feel like a ghost…”

It’s silent for a moment, before Touya speaks.

“Dad, I think you need to get help. This isn��t normal. And…I think they’d want you to be happy too, Dad. Don’t you deserve to be happy, too?”

“...I don’t know.”

“You don’t...know?”

“I don’t think I am. But...I want you to be happy. And Tenko, and Hana, and Twice, and Magne...But it’s so tiring, being happy. And I don’t know what to do!”

His sobs seem to echo through the building.

“Come on, Dad. Let’s get you help. You can get some rest.”

He leads Sako back to his house, Atsuhiro being half-asleep by the time they get home.

Mr. Compress takes the spare bedroom, and falls asleep as soon as he hits the pillow. Keigo notices Touya, and walks over to him.

“Heya dove~ How was your day?”

“Worrying. Dad...Dad needs some help. He’s got some shit going on...He’s so tired, Kei. We need to get him therapy or something.”

“Oh, baby…” Keigo whispers, but Touya is too tired to hear.

He falls asleep in his fiance’s arms, safe and sound.

---

The house is abuzz with activity when Touya wakes up. Keigo’s laughter echoes around the place, filling the air with a sense of home.

What a beautiful way to wake up.

Touya gets dressed and walks downstairs. Keigo’s in the kitchen, talking amicably with his sister, Fuyumi. Dad was smiling fondly at the sight, picking at his food. Natsuo was talking on the phone with someone, blushing a little.

Keigo turns towards him, and oh, he was so handsome.

“Good morning, dovely~”

Unbelievable. It was too early for puns.

“Ugh, no. Don’t ever make puns this early. Dad, you doing okay?”

Atsuhiro looks over at him, the corners of his eyes crinkling.

“I’m doing just fine, sonny boy~”

“God, it’s too early for this shit. Keigo, get me some coffee, will you?”

“Language!” Fuyumi scolds.

Eventually the coffee is made, and tables cleaned. Breakfast is done.

Keigo helps set up an appointment with Fuyumi. She’s a part time therapist, part time substitute teacher.

Touya takes a deep breath. One day, Dad will be okay. He’ll be alright.

Time for work.

It’s a beautiful, sunny day when Touya goes on patrol again. This time with Magne and the new intern, Toga.

He already knew somewhat what the girls had gone through.

“Good morning, Magne, Toga.” He greeted them.

“Good morning!” Toga says, and then they go off.

Touya’s stuck in his thoughts as they walk to a coffee house while on break. He listens in as he reaches for the door.

“Yeah, my parents threw me out cause they didn’t think I was a girl.”

“My parents threw me out, too! I had to run away, they didn’t like my quirk very much...I got lucky, and Mom became my mom! That’s how I became a hero! How did you, big sis Magne?”

“Mr. Compress saved me from one of those fucking creeps. He let me stay with him for a while, and helped me get back on my feet. I decided to be a hero then, to help people like me.”

They sit down at one of the tables, still talking about their lives. Touya takes a bite of his muffin.

Ah, life was alright, if just for a little while.

--- requests & asks are open! (request em here) ---

@kirililbb

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dl-oblivion · 4 years

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What would S boys be like if they had good father and mother figures?

Considering both nature, and nurture play into ones personality development, that’s hard to say. I believe they’d be drastically different, as all suffer with severe childhood trauma that shaped them into who they are in the series. Some core aspects of their personalities would be kept though. I’m gonna break down their childhoods, and how I think they’d grow up if things were different. This is gonna be my first analysis so I hope you guys enjoy reading it.

⚠️TW for physical, emotional, and sexual abuse⚠️

Shu - As a child, Shu was constantly pressured as the eldest son to surpass his father. For hundreds of years he would have to study, and barely got anytime to be a kid. When he did, it was always on his own merit. Running away, and seeking out his best friend Edgar, was how he got away from it all. (At least for a very brief portion of his life.) One thing after another, the things that brought him joy were stripped from him, including Edgar. Feeling trapped, he eventually stopped caring all together, and burnt out. His lazy persona was formed from depression, and trauma. That being said, his sluggish attitude, is the only aspect of his personality I can really see changing. Maybe the vampire would be less sadistic too? That’s hard to say, but perhaps if he continued making human friends, he wouldn’t look down on them so much. Having good parents as a vampire might mean that they belittle humans even more so who knows. His quiet nature would remain, but he wouldn’t be shy by any means. I think his “cool” personality is just how he is. His perverted side would also still be present. It’s worth noting that he’s the only brother who hates his parents, but doesn’t hold any kind of grudge. (Subaru doesn’t hate his mom, but would kill his father if the opportunity was available.)

Reiji - Reijis childhood was the complete opposite of his older brother. Instead of being hyper focused on, he was neglected. No matter what he did, nobody seemed to care for his achievements. The reason why Reiji is the most intelligent out of all his siblings, is because he never stopped trying to get attention by proving his capabilities. Even when he did get praised, it was in the form of backhanded compliments “You will make an excellent right hand man to your brother once he becomes king”. That inferiority complex of his, and hatred for his mother/older brother, would have never been there if he had good parents. Being raised in a loving home, I believe the good aspects of his personality would be cranked up, as opposed to the bad. He’d still be the most intelligent, but out of curiosity, and the need to learn more than anything. His ego would still be present a bit, especially when it comes to humans, but perhaps he’d be more snarky than sadistic? I can also see him being less strict, and more charming towards people. The character would be a little empathetic towards others, and not as detached from his family. Getting along with his brother would be in a playful competitive sense. I also lowkey see him being a mamas boy.

Ayato - Ayato has a similar upbringing to Shu, except his mother was extremely unstable, and downright cruel. Unlike the other two mothers, Cordelia didn’t care for her sons at all. He was a victim to beatings, and torment (I’m sure we all know the story of him being drowned in a lake). Ayato also witnessed Cordelias fits/breakdowns, (which often resulted in maids being killed before his very eyes) as well as her love affairs. The reason why she showed even a shred of regard for Ayato, was because he was the oldest of the triplets. The vampire was praised for things that made his mother look good, and proved he was the “best”. One of the ways narcissists are formed is from parental neglect, and only being praised when they do something worthy of acknowledgement. Which is why his whole character revolves around his need to be the best. If the vampire was raised by good parents, his egotism wouldn’t be present at all. He’d be a way more lighthearted character, and probably just a big loud dork. I’m sure he’d still be a jerk to some extent, but in a misfit kind of a sense. He seems playful at heart, and stubborn in nature. Perhaps he’d be a bit of a heart breaker amongst ladies, or absolutely terrible at picking up chicks. I wholeheartedly believe his personality was mostly formed via “nurture”, but if he wasn’t as strong of a character emotionally, would he have made it out the same?

Laito - Laitos upbringing is different from that of his brothers. While he was neglected, and traumatized from witnessing things no kid should have, the abuse he went through didn’t occur until he was a teenager. At a certain age (unclear), Cordelia began abusing him sexually, and warped his viewpoint on love. His only purpose was to please her sexually, which completely fucked him up. While he always knew it was wrong, Laito was manipulated into believing that he loved his mother as a partner. When Karl Heinz found out, he locked Laito in a dungeon as punishment. Nobody was there to comfort, or acknowledge him as a victim. Instead, Cordelia had sex in front of Laito, and told her son that he was nothing more than a play toy. He continued the cycle of abuse once the incestuous relationship ended. His whole persona is fake, it’s a means to bury all his trauma deep down. With all that being said, Laito would be an entirely different person if he was raised by loving parents. Instead of being this abusive asshole, he’d be a more soft spoken, chill, and nice person. Maybe a little flirtatious, but unintentionally so. I highly doubt he’d be nearly as sadistic, or brutal when it comes to humans, as he didn’t even enjoy taking advantage of his first victim, Hilde (a maid). His hobbies might also be a focus for him, as he wouldn’t be constantly trying to fill up his time by preying on people. Perhaps being a legendary pianist? He’d definitely be closer to his brothers as well, and give them advice more often. His perceptive, and sharp people reading skills would still be there.

Kanato - Kanato has always been needy, and attention seeking. Instead of trying to get his mothers attention by proving his capabilities, he would often times beg for it, or hurt himself. Most of his childhood was spent being neglected. Even if he sustained really bad injuries, Cordelia would ignore him, or request one of the servants take care of it. She disregarded him, until it was discovered that he could sing. His mother was turned on by his voice, and requested that Kanato sing while she was having intercourse. Since he was exposed to sex at a young age, his view on lust/love is very warped, just like Laito. Not nearly as much, but he believes forcing himself onto others is normal. Women are lustful creatures who always want it, in his eyes. (This explains why he forces himself onto Yui the most out of all his brothers.) Cordelia would also order Kanato to dispose of her affairs once she was bored, or if they caused trouble. His mother approved of him turning them into dolls, which is why he continued doing it for hundreds of years. If he had a normal upbringing, Kanato wouldn’t be as broken, and deranged as he is. His mood swings, and extremely sadistic nature wouldn’t be there. I believe he’d be quite timid, and a bit bratty if raised with good parents. He’d throw tantrums sometimes if he didn’t get what he wanted, but not have full blown episodes. I think he also wouldn’t hate women, and humans nearly as much as he does. Kanato is a sensitive person at heart who needs love.

Subaru - Subaru had a lonely, and isolated childhood. He did experience brief moments of tenderly love from his mother, but it was usually followed by Christa breaking down, and screaming at him. His low self esteem is rooted in his mother calling him a monster his entire life. Because Christa was locked away, dealing with her own mental deterioration, Subaru looked after himself. Never did he get validation or approval from anybody. With no siblings to turn to, or father to look to for guidance, he became extremely destructive. Taking his anger out on objects was the only way he could remain sane with a sickly mother. I’m sure there’s been instances where he punched, or beat, brides/servants, as sad as that is to say. I wouldn’t doubt it, since he has said he’s blind during moments or rage, and can easily hurt others if they’re around him when he’s like this. If Subaru had even one good parental figure he’d be different. He’d still be sadistic, but able to control his anger/emotions way better. His horrible self image wouldn’t be there either, and maybe he’d take pride in himself more. I think he’d also pick up hobbies, or be involved in sports, as opposed to being a delinquent. It said in his part of the anniversary book that he actually enjoys exercising, and likes his body sometimes, because he works out. Without a doubt he’d still be an awkward goof, and a tsundere at times. Probably known around the school for having cute reactions as opposed to being scary.

Whew that was long, if you read even a sliver of that Ily (っ◔︣◡◔᷅)っ ❤

#diabolik lovers #shu sakamaki #ayato sakamaki #laito sakamaki #subaru sakamaki #reiji sakamaki #kanato sakamaki #analysis #dialovers

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controloffandoms · 3 years

Text

Buck Begins Fic Recs

For @thisissirius

Here are a couple of fics that I have written. And I’ll probably add a couple of favorites that I’ve read along the way!

Nothing I Ever Did Was Good Enough

Buck bit his tongue, looking away from his father. It was too early in their get together to have a blow out. He especially didn’t want to have that blowout in front of Chim and Albert. “You know, firefighting, until recently, has had a huge amount of off duty suicides due to improper care of mental health. The department has changed to help firefighters through hard times of losing patients or families in fires by hiring departmental psychologists and having service animals available for visits to the firehouses after really tough calls. If someone isn’t in the right mindset, we could lose more people, not to mention our own people and that person. Mental health is no joke,” Albert stated. Buck had to hide is smile, but he turned to Albert, giving him a knowing look and small smile. His parents spluttered for a few seconds before Phillip turned to Albert. “I don’t think I was talking to you. Mind your own business, this was a family matter.” “Don’t talk to him like that,” Buck nearly growled. “He is family.”

~~Or the one where the parents visit and Buck is in over his head...luckily his family has his back.

~~~~Part 1 in the Nothing I Ever Did Was Good Enough series

Nothing I Ever Did-

~~~~Part 2 in the Nothing I Ever Did Was Good Enough series

"Watch your attitude, Evan," Margaret glared. "Why should I? All you've ever done is put me down and compare me to Maddie and try to make me into her. News flash, I'm my own person and I'm different! I get that nothing I ever did was good enough, but I don't have to keep trying to appease you and let you walk on me or my family. So if you could kindly drop the attitude and rude comments regarding Eddie and Christopher, it would be much appreciated. They invited you into their home and you've been nothing but assholes since you got here! Clearly you came here with opinions and baggage and a want to have your way, but that's not going to fly here. You best just head out of town tonight, you're not wanted here in my life or Maddie's life. We don't want your toxicity melting into our families because I'll be damned if the shit you've said tonight will ever affect my niece or my kid!"

~~Or the one where Eddie hosts the Buckley parents and just tries to be supportive in general...but the parents are nightmares. Featuring cuddles with Chris, Eddie, and Buck.

Not The One You Wanted

“Evan, I don’t know what you expected us to do.”

“Love me anyway,” it had been said like his heart had been ripped out...which, it felt like it had. Because that was the truth, wasn’t it...all he ever wanted was for them to love him anyway. He wanted his parents to give a damn about him but they never did...it was like he was a responsibility that they never wanted.

Maddie had said that their parents had been different back then when they were sentimental and made a box for her...and now Buck knew why. Daniel. His older brother Daniel...a brother that he didn’t even know existed until he sat down with Maddie to look at all the baby photos in the box...and there were plenty...Buck can hardly remember ever getting portraits like these done during his childhood….but his parents were different back then.

-OR- Evan Buckley deserves love and hugs because of how shitty his parents are.

*This is honestly one of my favorites that I’ve written...it’s like a character study while Buck was trapped in the warehouse with some liberties surrounding the reason Buck’s in the warehouse*

Secrets

He’d been lied to his whole life...Maddie had never thought to tell him about not being his actual sister...his parents were acting like it didn’t matter...like he should just get over it. Buck’s eyes met Chim’s...and his whole body went rigid. “You knew,” he whispered, looking directly at Chim. “You knew and you didn’t tell me?!” He rounded on his sister, “you told him, but not me?!”

“Evan, I was trying to protect you-”

“No, you don’t get to do that! You don’t get to try and protect me! I’m a grown ass adult, I deserved to know but instead of telling me, you told him and even though I’ve known him longer he still didn’t tell me!” Buck shook his head, backing from the room. “I can’t do this,” he whispered.

-OR- Buck finds out the secret Maddie's been keeping from him while his parents are visiting...he is understandably betrayed.

*Basically, Buck Begins and the Daniel scenes hadn’t happened yet and I wanted to know what the secret was, so I came up with this.*

Ambush of the Parents

Based off the new Promo (or the one I just saw) where we see Maddie, Chim, Albert, Buck and (who I believe) are Buck and Maddie’s Parents. Buck’s dad says “you’ve been seeing a therapist?” and Buck responds “Well, the job can be stressful.”

Disclaimer: Please don't read if verbal abuse from parents triggers you.

~~~~Or Buck’s parents are absolutely horrible and Buck’s family defends him.

Buck Begins

Buck always tried to please his parents. He wanted to be recognized and loved. He tried to get their approval but it was never enough. *Includes flashbacks, this was before Season 4 was even in production*

~Evan had thought that the SEALs would make his parents proud. He tried out for the SEALs, he went through training, but it still wasn’t enough. Then he’d dropped out. That had been the icing on the cake. Evan had never had a big blowout with his parents. He’d always tried to appease them. He tried to be the perfect son…but they never thought he was good enough. So when he dropped out of the SEALs, having a shouting match with his father as a consequence, he left for South America. He bartended and had fun. Then he’d gone to LA and became a firefighter and he hadn’t contacted his parents since the blowout.

Here are some fic recs that are not my own works

double vision wrapped in last night’s party clothes by amirlywritingfanficnow

"I have always been honest with you." When Eddie's voice cracks, Buck's composure almost cracks with it. "Why can't you just be honest with me?"

When Buck is let in on a long kept family secret, he doesn't know what to do. He almost ruins things with the one person that keeps him from feeling like he's floating away with no way to land, but it ultimately turns out okay with help of a little communication.

*This one pulled at my heart strings a little*

but i leave it in my heart, cause I don’t want to stay in the dark by neoncrayolas

Buck hadn't meant for the confession to come out like it did. He'd wanted it to be more eloquent and not so full of snot and tears.

But once it was out, there was no going back.

Or, part character study of Buck, part coda to 4x05.

*Basically, Buck isolates himself, Eddie gets worried, and Buddie is endgame

Learning to Breathe by TearsThisSideofHeaven

Boy, he thinks as the city lights blur a little in his vision, my therapist is going to have a field day with this.

*Short little fic that delves into Buck’s emotions with Eddie trying to support him

Finally Safe by WinterLioness

In the aftermath of finding out a family secret Buck finds himself going to Eddie. Christopher and Eddie use their Diaz charm to help.

*This picks up on the emotions Buck feels not only because of the family secret but because Maddie kept it from him (not full on hate, but what any normal person would need to work through) and Eddie is there to support him. Features cuddles with the Diaz Boys.

Not Related to the story line of 9-1-1 but has a whole ‘Buck Begins’ vibe because I was world building: The Life We Live

*The Old Guard AU no one asked for* "Athena had seen many a millennium and many men, women, and children die. She had seen the rise and fall of civilizations. She had felt the pain of loneliness and the happiness of community...but she’d never, in her many years of living, seen something like Eddie, Buck, and Chris. She’d never seen this profound of a bond, even between herself and Bobby. After Buck lost Abby and, later, Ali, Athena wasn’t sure he would have let his heart reach out to another person that he could lose...but she was proud of him. He built something that was hard to come by in their way of living. He built a home."

*I’m really proud of this one, it turned out well*

Not Related to the Story Line of 9-1-1, Fics by others!

Please Don’t Say You Love Me (because I might not say it back) by Queerfeministdork

"Say I love you loud, and say I love you often. It was an easy sentiment, and it was a beautiful background picture. But something clenched tightly in Buck’s chest when he saw it flash open as he handed Hen her phone. Because he knew it was a simple thing for most people, that most people could just let those three little words slip out without a care. But he couldn’t. They always got caught in his throat, stuck behind his chest. Tamped down before he could think to breathe them out."

Buck always wished he could just say the words. Turns out, maybe people just know.

*Basically, Buck can’t say ‘I Love You’ as easily as everyone else and panics about it...but eventually, everyone understands.

everything is blue by amirlywritingfanficnow

When Evan Buckley is ten, he discovers nail polish.

In which Buck paints his nails, Eddie is flustered, and May is a matchmaker.

*Basically Buck and Eddie saying fuck toxic masculinity. Buck enjoying painting his nails and Eddie is definitely in love with him.

Coming Home To You by kariberri13

The 118 want to know more about Buck, but the man won't give them many details. That is until the biggest detail walks through the station's bay doors.

*Not focused on his past, but a different story focusing on the fact that Buck is married to Eddie and has a kid that he didn’t tell the Fire fam about.

There are tons more, but this is what I could think of off the top of my head!

Hope you like them!

#buck begins fic recs #buck begins #fanfiction writing #9-1-1 #evan buckley #buddie #evan buckley x eddie diaz #eddie diaz #christopher diaz #the buckley parents #fic recs #for thisisserious #longish post

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newhologram · 3 years

Text

I've been doing some thinking and realizing just how far back this all goes. Those of you who know me and my family IRL may have a hard time believing the emotional abuse and gaslighting because whenever you've met them, they seemed fine. They may have even bragged about me to you which made you think that they thought very highly of me. They also may have neglected to inform you that I have been disabled by chronic illness the past 10 years (many of my other family members had no idea until they spoke to me personally. It's... really fucking weird? To just not tell anyone that your offspring is in bed all day in horrible pain and constantly at the doctor/ER?). Unfortunately this is also part of the gaslighting, putting on a persona of parental perfection so that no one believes me when I try to talk about it. Instead people, even within my family, make excuses for the abuse and say that I should just be grateful. Behind closed doors it's always been very different. In the event that me processing this in private spaces gets out to them (which WILL endanger me): This isn't about *~exposing~* or *~revenge~* or *~punishment~*, it's about putting the pieces together and saying, yeah, I'm right to finally put my foot down about the way I have been treated. This is my experience. This is my trauma. I'm finally claiming that after a lifetime of being told that these experiences and my pain around them are apparently "not real" (gaslighting). By talking about this, I am not victimizing myself, but empowering myself. Because none of this treatment was ever my fault. None of it was ever deserved. And none of this is to be blamed on my "response" to abuse. I hope that by talking about this I can paint a picture of the dynamic and inspire investigation into the health of your own family dynamics too. "But they're family" is literally what enables this kind of abuse to continue. And I'm done. My health and survival is more important than upholding a toxic family system. They're learning that the hard way, finally. I don't think my family members are bad people. I truly do love and care for them. They have some amazing qualities. They love animals and they've come a long way to now being LGBTQ+ allies even if they don't always use the right words. But they have a lot of flaws that most likely come from their own trauma... But these aren't just self-contained flaws. Because I am the one who will be undoing the damage for the rest of my life. I don't know if they will ever go to therapy themselves, but I certainly won't be waiting around for them to work on themselves if it means I'm going to continue to be mistreated and re-traumatized. - It's always been this way but things definitely got worse in my home when I became disabled (possibly bc it triggered insecurities in them?). Both parents ignored me to my face all my life. I'd say or ask something, and there'd be no response most of the time. If I said, "hey, I'm talking to you, that's rude" they would blow up at me about "WHAT. WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY. I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND OKAY I HAVE MY OWN LIFE". This happened even when I was a literal child. I grew up believing that nothing I had to say was worth hearing and that if they ignored me that it was because I was unimportant and annoying. But if I ignore them or take too long to respond because I'm thinking, they scold me me about being rude, that they are my parents and I need to respect them. My emotions and pain have been invalidated since I was a child too. I would get picked up from afterschool care, or my bully's house, and of course I'd be crying from enduring a day of bullying. I would say, "I didn't do anything to them, it's not fair." And my dad's response was always, "WELL GUESS WHAT LIFE'S NOT FAIR. WAIT UNTIL YOU'RE AN ADULT IN THE REAL WORLD." He has continued to say this to me on a regular basis whenever I am struggling, either with work, friends, relationships, a death, or my chronic illnesses. I wonder why he has never considered my world to be real? Why is my reality not real to him? What

makes that even more painful is that I was still sent day after day to the school where I was bullied, to afterschool care with my bullies, and to my bullies' homes. No matter how much I was always crying when they picked me up, they just kept sending me back. And then a few of my dad's girlfriend's had children who bullied me too. I literally could never escape it. If it wasn't that, his response to me crying about something would be, "YOU HAVE NOTHING TO CRY ABOUT. YOU'RE LIVING THE LIFE OF LUXURY HERE, YOU DON'T PAY RENT! JUST WAIT UNTIL YOU'RE OUT THERE HAVING REAL PROBLEMS!" Again, he said this to me when I was a 24 year old who was suddenly in the span of a year so disabled that I could barely work. I was scared for my future, because I had taken the time to educate myself about my illnesses, and I knew that things were going to be hard for me. What I needed was support, not "tough love" and emotional invalidation. I was also scared of the situation I am in now. I was scared that I was going to be too sick to afford to move out and that by age 30 I would still be stuck at home with a parent who did not see my reality, my pain, as real. I am living that and it's not fun. Whenever I tried to talk to him about this invalidation, it just turned into a fight, because he refuses to admit the things that he said, and says things like "That's a You Problem" which he has said since I was a child in response to him hurting my feelings. I have always thought it was worth the effort to communicate to my loved ones this sort of issue, because that's what I was taught at school. If there's an issue, you talk about it. But my family doesn't believe that I guess. - When I first got sick, I was throwing up a lot. It had built up over several years since I was 19 but then after I was officially diagnosed with my Big 4 (colitis/fibro/ME/narcolepsy) I started having really dangerous vomiting attacks. The first attack I had lasted 6 days. I lost 12lbs. I overheard my dad complaining on the phone to a friend that I was keeping him up all night throwing up. I felt so bad for bothering him, I had learned to value his comfort over mine. But after the third day of nonstop vomiting, I told my dad I needed to go to the ER, that something was wrong. He sighed and rolled his eyes and said I didn't need to go. He was so annoyed with me for being sick. I was completely pale. I hadn't eaten anything. I could barely keep water down. I argued but he wouldn't listen. I went back to throwing up, at this point just dry-heaving. A while later I said, "I'm taking myself to the ER." I grabbed my car keys and my dad stopped me. He said, "That's ridiculous, you aren't driving yourself to the ER, I'll do it." But he still wouldn't take me for some reason. I don't know if he just didn't want to pay the copay or what. But I was literally trapped. I tried to fight it and said, "If you're going to take me, then take me. If not, let me take myself." I kept throwing up for three more days before he finally agreed to take me. The ER was packed so I ended up going to urgent care, where the nurse scolded me. She said I really should've gone to the ER after the third day of vomiting. She said that if I had gone a 7th day I could have collapsed. I didn't know how to tell her that I had tried. She asked where my family was and I said my dad had to go to work so he had just dropped me off. She had tears in her eyes and she held my hand. She said, "he should be here with you." THAT is how sick I was. That year, I went to the ER three more times. Each time I would be sobbing and ashamed of myself just for bothering my dad and for him having to pay the copay since I was too sick to earn the money myself. Again, that's how little I had learned to value myself and my health. By my birthday that year, I was suicidal from this shame. A few months later, in the new year, I started having vomiting attacks again. My dad stood over me while I was hunched over the toilet gagging and he said something I will never be able to forget, "You need to snap out of it

because I can't go through this again." He was the victim of my illness. He was the victim of my pain. This year was when my dad told me that he and his gf had been "talking" and that they had decided it was "time for me to be independent". He said they'd even help me find an apartment. I cried and said, "Dad, I'm sick. I've been so sick the past year. How am I supposed to afford even splitting rent with a roommate when I'm in bed in a neckbrace all day long?" and his response was, "But your dad needs his bachelor pad." I couldn't even identify what I was feeling. I was so shocked. Did he really think having the apartment to himself so he could have girls over was more important? But he was always telling me that I was the most important person in his life. I was so confused.

He gave me a time frame to move out and I was terrified. I thought my life was over. But most of all, I thought, "it's not fair to my dad that I'm sick." I thought so little of myself and my pain because that is what I learned as a kid. I blamed myself for not being "strong enough" to power through these debilitating illnesses. I blamed myself for my dad's money troubles. I literally could not live with myself knowing that my dad had to support me. I was so ashamed that I learned to vomit quietly so that he wouldn't notice. I was in a constant state of suicidality for several years after this. And it's no wonder, because year after year my dad has barged into my room to harass me about "it's time to be a Real Adult! It's time for you to Contribute to the household! You need to Make Money! I'm HEMORRHAGING money supporting you! I'm having to use my savings!" and because I was too sick to do this, I felt like a complete failure who did not deserve to live. I was self-harming constantly because I hated myself for "doing this" to my father. He had convinced me that I was the villain. I would start freaking out about money, forcing myself to work even if it meant vomiting literally on set (and almost being sent home bc of it, but I insisted I was fine to work). But I still couldn't make enough to afford my medical expenses. So I would shame-spiral and be suicidal again and then suddenly the story would change. My dad did a complete 180 and said, "Why are you even worried about money? We're doing fine. Even if I didn't have to support you, it wouldn't make that big of a difference in the money that I spend on this household. Don't worry about it." And then as soon as bills were due, he was back to telling me that I needed to make money. Back to saying we spent too much money on food despite me not eating that much. Back to refusing to try shopping somewhere cheaper when I suggested ways to save money. When I brought this up to my therapist back then, she said, "He's giving you mixed messages. Maybe you should bring this up to him so he realizes he's doing it." But when I did bring it up, of course my dad denied doing this and called me ungrateful even as I worked two jobs. When I eventually got a third job (fucking up my health more) to pay off my medical debt, my dad patted my back and told me how proud he was. When I told my therapist that he denied it, she suggested I bring him in so she could help us communicate. When I asked him to come with me to therapy, he got angry and said, "I am NOT going to therapy with you, that is ridiculous." But even with those 3 jobs it still wasn't enough and I was constantly being pulled between "YOU HAVE TO MAKE MONEY RIGHT NOW END OF THE WORLD" and "uhh why are you even worried about money, you need to work your mindset..." When bugged about money I would ask, "What else do you want me to do? I'm working 3 jobs. I'm not hiding money from you. I'm sending you everything that is leftover after I pay my own bills. I've even been buying a lot of my own food, I've been living off ramen and cans of ravioli." And he never had an answer except "just make more money." -- Now to the dynamic I'm currently living in. My dad moved his gf and her dog in without talking to me about it to see if it was going to impact my health. She was only supposed to stay here for maybe 4-5 days while she figured out a new home situation. But when I asked my dad about it in the days leading up to her arrival, suddenly the answer was "oh, she's staying indefinitely." I had no say in it. But we had a talk about what I needed to make this work. I said to my dad that the most important thing was that I have some scheduled quiet time. If I'm recording content or editing audio, I'm going to need quiet that morning so I can get my work done. If I'm resting, I need there to not be shouting or slamming doors happening in the house. He assured me that this was fine and that it'd all be easy for the three of us. The first weekend she was moved in, I let my dad know that I was editing audio that morning and needed

some quiet. He was cheerful and said, "No problem!" I thought wow, this is different. This is nice! This is going to be great for my productivity and health. As soon as I started editing, his gf was blasting music in the kitchen (right next to my room) and they were both laughing and talking loudly just a few steps away from my door. I thought, okay, we talked about this. But I'll just power through. When I was done, I went to my dad and said in a calm manner, "Hey, so this morning I let you know ahead of time that I was editing audio but there was still a ton of music and stuff in the kitchen, so it made it take a lot longer for me." His eyes immediately went dark. He put on an angry parent voice and said, "Okay, I am about to pop. I have enough going on without worrying about making too much noise for you." I said, calmly still, "We talked about this, though, and you assured me it wasn't a problem that I needed this quiet time for editing. So I'm not sure what to do. I'm just letting you know that there was still loud music right next to my room even though we had talked about it." He responded, "Then you need to be more specific because I don't know what you're doing in there." I corrected, "But I told you this morning that I was going to be editing audio and you said it was no problem to have some quiet in the kitchen while I did so." He got more aggressive, "No, you need to be more specific." Again, "I was specific. I told you the time frame that I was going to be editing audio in. You said you understood. I don't know what else to do to fix this other than by openly communicating to you about it." I started crying because--I mean, uhh?? This is gaslighting. I couldn't believe that mere hours after I had specifically told my dad that I was editing audio and that he had assured me it was no problem to have some quiet, that he was accusing me of not telling him what I needed, and that he had not agreed to it or something. Like wtf. He got nastier and blamed me for his stress. But me crying triggered his guilt so he tried to soothe himself by hugging me like he does and I pulled away. I tried to emphasize to him that I'm not just making content for fun. I'm literally trying to make money and contribute to the household like he has told me I need to do for the past 8 years. And when he disrupts my editing process, it just makes it take longer, and it makes it harder for me to earn extra money. His gf was also super rude to me when I tried to be friendly and have a conversation with her. I was telling her about how great it felt to have my sister initiate a conversation about my gender identity and she interrupted me (like she does constantly) to say, "YOU KNOW YOUR SISTER DOESN'T ACTUALLY GIVE A SHIT, RIGHT?" (wtf...) After this, I didn't speak to them for three days. I was feeling the urge to self-harm that whole weekend and all I could do was stay in bed crying after that. I knew if I spoke to them I would just get triggered so I was protecting myself. My dad felt guilty and tried to talk to me in my room. I tried to explain how triggering this whole situation is for me and he said he would do anything to make it easier for me. I had told him what I needed but that he had gaslighted me about it. - This next and last part is going to illustrate the priorities in this household. A few years ago, I started having problems with hives. I spent almost a whole year having very painful breakouts all over my body. It kept me up all night and caused me so much discomfort during the day. I kept telling my dad about it (no response, or annoyed responses), I went to the doctor several times about it (useless ointments), and suffered month after month. I tried so many things, I thought maybe it was bugs, spiders, etc. My asthma was also acting up and I remembered that an ex-neighbor had been suspicious of mold because of their health issues getting better the second they moved out. They had told me back then that we should test for mold. I brought it up to my dad that I had been suffering from this for

long enough and that we should do something about it (mold also makes fibromyalgia and ME way worse). He angrily snapped, "What do you want me to do about it?" I suggested we ask the landlord to mold test the apartment. He refused bc he doesn't like to bother the landlord. I said that I would just order a mold kit myself and he said, "No, let me do it, I'll pick the right one." But he wouldn't even after I kept reminding him. Even after I sent him links to mold kits that we could order. After I got rid of my mattress, my hives got a lot better but I still have issues every now and then. For years I have just lived with this because I couldn't get him to even care about the fact that I was spotted with these big pink hives. When his gf moved in, we had a random rainy day, which seems to have activated the mold. His gf got one tiny little hive and the sniffles. She said to him once, "Hey, I think you have mold in this house." Want to guess what happened after that? You're right. He immediately ordered several mold test kits. I said to my therapist, "How am I supposed to feel about that? Is it really unreasonable, am I really in the wrong to feel hurt by that?" My therapist said, "I mean, I would feel completely invalidated and like I didn't matter." This isn't the first time empathy has been withheld from me obviously (above examples during my flare ups), but sometimes even when it's right in front of him he just can't bring himself to care for some reason. One time a big piece of glass was in my thumb. I said, "Ahhh, glass, help! Glass!" He was eating snacks in the kitchen and just glanced at me, didn't move or say anything. I realized he wasn't going to help, so shaking and bleeding, I managed to pull the glass out with tweezers very painfully. It bled so much and I stood over the sink trying to stop it. My dad just kept eating his snacks, not asking if I was okay or anything, he didn't even look at me. After 5 minutes I still couldn't get the blood to stop and asked my dad if he could help, maybe get me some gauze. He put food in his mouth and sighed, "Just put pressure on it" and walked away. It feels like he's just disgusted with me. I know that he does love me and that he's trying the best he can with all of his mental/emotional/personality flaws but he thinks that just because he puts a roof over my head that he can treat me however he wants and not work on his issues, that it's my fault for being hurt. He thinks that his issues are all on me to learn to endure and it's not right. I know that he resents me for getting in the way of him having a relationship because that's the only message I have gotten since childhood, with every woman he's brought into my home. But in the end his relationships always fall apart because the woman ends up realizing, and stating to him, that he is "emotionally absent". And every time, I comfort my dad through the break up. When he has tried to blame his ex I said once to him that therapy can really help him with his emotional issues and relationships. But he refuses, so. That's on him. But I refuse to believe that I am in the wrong here for saying enough is enough. But he's going to keep trying to make me believe that the problem is just me and my feelings, not his behavior. Nope. Boundary is up. I just have to keep to myself and do what I need to do to stay safe until I can move out. Because I guarantee you he's going to realize he doesn't get enough validation from his gf and then come running back to me as always and then be angry that I'm still holding my boundary strong. I know that this will hurt less as I get distance from it, but I don't like the idea of my pain being my fault when I grew up with this toxic stuff. I'm working so hard to make it hurt less but I can't heal if it keeps happening, so all I can do is back away from what is hurting me instead of being surprised when I'm hurt again. THAT is on me 100%. Hopefully he doesn't grab my desk and slam it against the wall again like in 2014 when I first tried to set this boundary. And of course when he

"apologized" he accused me of "punishing him" by not spending time with him. Jee-zus, dude. Get therapy. I can't be the only one in this family bearing this weight and working on my shit.

#teku #personal #do nut re bagel

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konoha-drag0n · 3 years

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Kaliyah | Part One

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⊱𝐊𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟.⊰

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Prologue

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This world wasn't always so quiet and petty.

Years and years ago while other clans fled

to claim victories and land, one particular clan basked in the brighter sides of living. While the

rest of the clans made stories and sang songs of great battles fought, this clan would always remain apart and would be the highlight of those tales. Scarcely seen in open battle but horribly fierce, they were the Free Ones, the Noble. Never swearing fealty to anyone besides themselves and their Clan, protecting their freedom and safety at any cost necessary. Their resilience was always an admirable trait.

And their alliance was things clans prayed for and cherished, for their allies were treated as their own kin and were under great protection.

The Sen-Ryokō were once separated into three branches, with no significant differences between them but they still segregated themselves into those three, small families. It wasn't until the time of need that the three branches united into one big Clan. The reason being the awful war itself with the neighboring clans. Seeing as they were parted from each other and so small, the enemies saw an easy target and easy-win battle. But they wouldn't be so easily swayed and the battles their enemies sought would not be pleasant. The Clan laid on fertile soil, windswept hills on one side, barely any high growing plants, and high, mountain giants close on the south side. The place was prosperous in every way possible so it was no wonder they were always made targets of.

Although few in number, the Sen-Ryoko were cunning and witty people, a trait that would go to define them; they led the foes into a trap in the mountains where they met them with an onslaught of attacks and lastly, burying them all under a heavy rain of rock slides to seal their fates. From that point onward, the clan resumed their normal flow of things returning to the ruined hills and fields, rebuilding their lives once more. Besides their wits, they were known as great travelers and merchants, information gatherers and trackers.

But the great tales of old speak of another admirable fact about them. Mastering the beasts no other could. While a horse grants one the dominion over land, a ship over sea… a dragon grants the sky, and everything underneath it. The few Sen-Ryokō that did have a dragon as their summon held a special bond to the flying creatures, inseparable from the moment they fulfilled the contract. The history is vague about how they formed the contract, seeing as this kind of contract differs slightly from the regular ones. As well as history itself is everywhere due to their constant travels, each story speaks of it's own way.

A dragon may leave their summoner whenever they please for whatever reason they see fit; the dragon will not serve the ones with the ill of heart, nor the one thirsty for power and its wealth. A dragon grows alongside their summoner, they essentially feed off of each other's chakra and grow stronger in turn. Just as the clan members themselves, their dragons were as fierce, resistant and free. No one dared to step in their way once they heard of such great beasts siding with the small clan "clan under the mountains". As times did pass however, with dragons being less and less common and fewer in number, their legendary stories and victories now became myths. Instead of dragons, others framed Sen-Ryokō as liars, calling their dragons nothing but overgrown birds.

And finally, when the last dragon took its final rest, the Sen-Ryokō was occupied and sent scattering, separating once again with many killed in battle. The dragons that once stood firm at their sides were now seen as nothing but myths and legends, after the last dragon died unexpectedly and left them for fate to take them, the dragon tales became something to be frowned upon. Many still harboured the love for the great beasts, trusting that their powerful spirits remained with them. But one was for sure. The glory days of the Sen-Ryokō...and the dawn of Dragons was no more..

Childhood

Hundred years later, in the midst of the Warring States, the birth of a child brought some light into the family. Being born second in her fathers second marriage, Kaliyah Genji was the highlight to her parents for the years to come. Her father's prior marriage was quick to fall apart with the death of his first wife, their son now living with Kaliyah's grandmother and only two years her senior. Kaliyah didn't see much of him in her youth, only on more special occasions that required both of them to be there or on the training fields where they'd play swords. The early memories of him are vague but Kaliyah remembers Botan being very short on patience and quick to throw a tantrum, but still he knew how to be polite when he had to be. Towards her he was quite resentful, especially when their father chose to take her under his wing and introduce her to the family business and affairs, thus leaving Botan aside.

In her early years Kaliyah was known to be quite an adventurous kid, she would often roam the fields and young woods around the compound despite the dangers of war which she was yet to understand. It wasn't rare for her to bring home things found on the road; plants, old coins, rocks, bones, and many things alike were a part of her trinket collections. On some occasions she would also bring injured animals, mostly birds, that she would try and tend to. Unfortunately these animals would often die, having been already at the brink of death when she found them and beyond the reach of healing, and their deaths did hold weight over the girl who would later bury them in the place she found them, rocks and pebbles adorning their graves. Due to this she was generally thought of as a gentle soul, sensitive even at times; and would later also prove to be lacking in medical ninjutsu. Some would admire this kind trait and others would frown upon it, mainly her father who described it as being weak and overly emotional, and there was no space for such strong emotions here.

Three, almost four, years after her birth, the Genji family got another addition. Little Utiss. Kaliyah was indifferent to her younger sibling in the beginning, due to duties at hand she didn't get much time to spare for her sister, but they would often take walks together and Kaliyah would tutor Utiss when she could, still giving her best at being a good older sister. Be it teaching her about the history of the clans or more important things that can occur in everyday life. The younger sister was open to these teachings, a slow but a good learner, although sometimes not valuing some things as much as she should have. Upon introducing her to their older brother, Botan would take quite a dislikement to Utiss and she would reflect that right back at him.

Kaliyah and her father would soon start to spend more and more time together, a butterfly effect taking place when Kaliyah merely helped her father out on a small errand that essentially saved his life and warned him of approaching enemies, to become one of his apprentices on the field.

Kaliyah took to her father's lessons like duck to water, learning swiftly with time and was starting to take her fathers side more and more often. Due to the raging wars and due to her fathers status, Kaliyah was soon starting to become a target for the Clan's foes, seeing as she was very young and vulnerable like any other child. Atsuko, Kaliyah's mother, was growing worried by the day for both of her children. With the situation at home being bad as it was, she complained to her husband, Hachirou, urging him to do something, anything, to protect their children. Hachirou soon took off to travel across the lands for a meeting with another clan in hopes of making allies after the heated argument. This left eight year old Kaliyah with her mother and four year old Utiss, with her fathers mother there to watch over them.

The old Nan did nothing but disrupt them whenever possible, mainly aiming her abuse and accusations at her mother. Kaliyah did try to stand between them more often than not, but it was always to no avail as the nan would resolve to physical violence to get her out of the way. This led Kaliyah to just flee from the house during those times, ashamed to raise her own hand against an elder, usually taking Utiss with her as well to save her from the vulgarity of the situation. It was only once later in the years when Kaliyah actually raised her hand against the old woman and that was when Utiss had gotten physically harmed by her. Her mother would go on to reveal the reason of the old nans hate, the simple reason being that the two clans they were from did not get along well in the past. Specifically referring to a battle between the Sen-Ryokō and the Genji hundred years ago. Even if Atsuko loved her husband greatly she knew her marriage to him was nothing but a treaty offer so that the Genji stop their hunting and attacks on the Sen-Ryokō.

Upon asking more about the Sen-Ryokō her mother always shushed her, saying it was for the best if their cultures remained unknown to her, for her safety. Stubbornly Kaliyah pushed to know something. What was so important, what happened that was so great that pushed the Genji to despise the other? Why was it so dangerous for her to know more about her heritage? Her mother revealed only a handful of things, coating them with evil words and tone in hopes to make Kaliyah hate the Sen-Ryokō as well, maybe then she would stop asking about them. Atsuko told her daughter just how awful they were, using their beasts to inflict fear into others and how they carried many into death over their steep cliffs. It all sounded the same like the horrific stories of her grandmother. Old Nan was right, her mother told her, for the hostility she showed them. The Nan's ancestors and friends were all burned to ash and killed just because of the Sen-Ryokō. Atsuko was on the verge of tears with each lie she made up, with each hint of surprise that came to her daughter's face. And at the end, she sealed the conversation with a hint of threat, Kaliyah must never know of them. Hoping to shield her that way. Her mother tried to remain compassionate and sweet to her child, but after all the neglect she has shown to her curiosity and spare time and all the things she said, she wasn't overly surprised when Kaliyah began to withdraw slowly.

This hostility didn't stop even after her father's return. The nan stayed and continued on with her abuse, feeding her hatred for the Sen-Ryokō and letting her hostility onto the three. The two sisters weren't even safe in their own rooms at night, at which they would start to spend the nights with their mother. When confronted about it, the nan would simply shrug it off, not even attempting to deny her actions in the end. But Hachirou still did nothing, having been raised with the same beliefs of the Clans by her when he was young, although he did not harbour the hate into his adulthood. And no matter how much he promised that he loved Atsuko, he wouldn't go against his mother. He let her stay at their home. Even Utiss would mumble a word of complaint from time to time, frustrated and scared.

With the growing and never ending hostility at home, Kaliyah spent more and more time outdoors. At the time, the rumors her grandmother had started to spread didn't hit popularity yet. Kaliyah wasn't a person of any high status then. Yes she may have been a daughter of a powerful shinobi, but the rumors spread around flew over people's heads, for they saw Kaliyah as nothing but gentle and kind and incapable of any evil. The little girl grew closer to the community and the people around her. Making friends with anyone she found of interest, just as long as she didn't have to go home. Kaliyah would often stay late outside, sitting at a corner of the road where an old man Haru would sit and tell stories to neighboring kids from time to time. He would often speak of the long summers and his many adventures, the troubles he got in his youth and many beasts that he encountered on his road. Even in his old age he was quite active, but easily exhausted.

He would often give sweets to Kaliyah and the other kids. The stories he told were a stark contrast to the evil, presumably true, tales the Old Nan would tell her, which would often strike anxiety in her. It wasn't rare that she would find herself in a situation where she would be paranoid, imagining one of the great beasts or evil people stalking her from their hiding. The Old Nan would even use these stories to get Kaliyah to do certain things. Even Botan used these stories to his advantage on a few occasions. The old stories of Haru were encouraging, filled with some great advice if one just listened well, and in comparison to fairytales of the Old Nan, Kaliyah believed these to be the real stories and would soon start to feel a bit at ease, no trusting in the old folk tales any longer. It would get her in trouble as she would stay out late but she did not feel guilty, her mother understood that too.

The more she spent outside, the more she got closer to the people and in turn learned of everyone's struggles. So much death and violence was raging, haunting the people of the town. It greatly saddened and scared Kaliyah, filling her with some sense of dread and helplessness. She was still a young girl, she couldn't do anything but watch for the time being, feeling ashamed at times if she were to bring it up to her father as he already expressed his thoughts on her desire to help the ones she clearly couldn't.

On one of her first travels with her father-mentor, she witnessed first hand the expanse all the violence went to, just how many suffered in these wars. It was a journey to a neighboring Kamada clan with which her father had to make amends due to previous miscommunications that ended in a short lived battle. The clan's leader, and elder, wasn't so keen on smoothing over the bridges they burned with the Genji, being very clear with what he thought of Hachirous rule over his people and how he led them blindly. How he believed the Genji were conspiring to steal his lands and slowly push his clan into extinction. Word soon reached them that they were preparing for another rebellion against them now that Hachirou and one of his heirs were on their lands, wanting to reclaim all that they were supposedly robbed off in the past by the Genji. With their great ninken and many people gathered up, it was clear to Hachirou that there was no diplomatic solution. He showed Kaliyah for the first time how things are not always nice, how she can't help everyone and how she must be careful with these kinds of people, who she can and can't trust.

The opposing clan's rising rebellion was quickly snuffed out with the leader losing his life before the young girl. Anyone else who remained alive was sent into exile with their land now belonging to the Genji, and the wars between other clans still raged wild. No one was doing much to stop them either, everyone waging their own battles and caring only about their own greed and safety. It only pushed Kaliyah more to pursue the ranks that her fathers business could grant her, to try and help out in any way she could, although now she had a different outlook on life. Thinking that when she became of proper rank and age, she could help bring some protection to the people at the very least. Her work doubled and now she barely spent time at home; guilt would chase her for that, knowing her sister and mother were under relentless abuse from the old nan. If possible, she would visit them through the day, but later with her mothers growing distress Kaliyah stopped her daily visits. Even her own mother started to shame her for certain things, saying how she was becoming just like her father in her eyes, and would now only cling onto Utiss, not letting her out of her sight.

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New Hope

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Her mother's growing neglect and her father's emotional absence did weigh Kaliyah down for a period of time, but with the growing duties and tasks as well as many travels she was sent on, she pushed it all to the back of her mind. The choices taken and all the work did harden Kaliyah's heart. Towards the fourth year of being under her fathers guidance and having witnessed many other clans and battlefields, Kaliyah was slowly starting to become a target for her fathers foes. Seeing that she was vulnerable but very knowledgeable, she was the weak link.

Hachirou was no fool either and now especially seeing how much knowledge ended up reaching Kaliyah and just how many secrets too, he took action to lend some protection over his first daughter. He had grown hope in her skill and knowledge and his love for her still grew stronger in his heart. A man named Iwao became her guard, and sensei in the art of taijutsu and ninjutsu. No one knew much of Iwao or how he came to be, when he came first into their village and compound he was the greatest talk among the common folk, and he would soon go to impress many as well as he took the mantle of protecting the head of the clan. He first served Botan and his mother, after the mothers death and upon Hachirous order, Iwao stepped aside. He was a gruff man, quiet but also very careful when it came to taking care of young Kaliyah. The only issue being that now, with rising threats, Kaliyah had almost no privacy and always had him behind her shoulder, watching over her like a hawk.

In his teachings he was quick and stern but knew how to lend his assistance if his student was falling behind on certain lessons. Iwao knew her limits and would ever so often push at them in ways that wouldn't result in harm but rather provoke success. A man of few words but many actions, the sensei-student duo would start to bond over time, even if it still remained at the superficial level they grew to trust each other. Iwao taught Kaliyah the ways of the blade, soon after he would find out her expertise with the Wind release. She was showing great potential in both taijutsu and ninjutsu as well as strategy and planning. Showing great traits of a natural born leader she would be quick to accelerate in her studies and training.

The jutsus that Kaliyah learned would greatly come to overpower Iwaos lighting release, but would cancel out in his fire releases in which Kaliyah would have to find other ways to claim victory over her sensei. In the first year Iwao had to enforce many rules and shrink their field in which they fought due to the constant dodging on Kaliyah's half. She moved like the wind itself, very quick on her feet and agile like an eel. But soon later she would become more confident in these skills and take a great liking to the martial arts. Now it was always a game of push and pull until either one yielded or won.

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The Senju

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As she approached the years before her teens, Kaliyah was officially sent on an assignment of her own, the journey would take long. The task at hand being to deliver a message to the clan head of the infamous Senju Clan. The letter contained the handwriting of her father, sealed with the sigil of the Genji clan. It was given into Kaliyahs hands to protect and deliver, although a copy was secretly given to Iwao in the worst case scenario. The two travelled on their own, as two people could travel just as fast as one, and it would be much easier to move undetected through the lands. Most of their journey was on horseback. Kaliyah was ecstatic, optimistic for a good portion of the way, Iwao noted, but he also noted her will and great composure. Something he also saw once in Hachirou and Botan years ago. The journey took a turn when they were almost assassinated by ninja of an unknown Clan. The assailants wore no sigils or anything that would define and give away where they could have come from. Kaliyah was the first one to take notice of the enemy chakra, a surprise to Iwao who believed that Kaliyah didn't have any sensory abilities at all. Thanks to the collaborative jutsu of Iwao's strong fire release and Kaliyah's wind release did they defeat the enemy. The scuffle did leave Iwao injured, a kunai having sliced at his leg and right forearm, meanwhile Kaliyah was able to dodge most of the attacks and only get away with scuffs and bruises from when she was thrown off her horse.

Still they managed to make their way to the Senju compound unbothered by any other attacks. For the rest of their journey Iwao had started to ramble to Kaliyah about the Senju, and their ties with the Genji. He told her of how Hachirous' father had done a great deed once, helped the Senju with reclaiming a part of their land and even saved the head of the clan from certain death in one of the battles. Upon their arrival, Iwao let the young girl lead the conversation, relying his trust in her and making this a test of everything she had learned already. She held her own adroitly. His figure would loom over hers even on horseback, watching her with careful onyx eyes that hid pride behind a curtain of coolness and professionalism. The meeting was quick, although what Hachirou had asked of Butsuma Senju had to be considered before a decision was made, so their stay was prolonged. Genji wasn't the most active ally of the Senju but they have never disappointed or given any doubt, collaborating with them on several occasions for a shared goal. While they stayed, Iwao's wounds did fester suddenly and feverishly. The kunai that inflicted the wounds turned out to be coated in strong poison. The Senju were generous enough to lend him medical aid, and offer them both a safe place to stay. Iwao would often talk in his dazed state, mumbling under his breath or even leading a full conversation with someone unseen in the room when his fever was at its peak. Now, without her trusted sensei she was trusted to lead all affairs on her own accord. Being in a lands new to her and at risk of attack, she would be quite strained.

Thankfully by the end of the week, Iwao did make a full recovery from the poison and his wounds. Thanking the Senju leader profusely, the duo finally took their leave with a Senju medic accompanying them on their journey back. The medical nin was planned to stay in their compound and take a few students to teach them medical ninjutsu, as the Genji only had one good medic in their clan left. Kaliyah was happy to speak to the medic on their way back, asking about the many scrolls she brought with her and listening intently on what she had to say. Kaliyah felt a lot more comfortable outside her own clan's territories, being much more social too. Hachirou, upon hearing his daughters report, was happy with the newly secured bond between the Senju and the Genji, as well as the medical-nin that was sent to aid them. It was the first time Kaliyah saw her father be genuinely happy with her doings. The teaching of new medics started immediately the following month.

But what else awaited her at her clan was the sudden spread of vile rumors about her, where this time the people believed them. What her father gave her with his happiness and compliments, the demeanor of the rest made for negativity and that overshadowed the positive mood of the young girl. The other children she used to play with would now be pulled away by their parents whenever they saw Kaliyah coming. And the older folk she used to talk to never seemed interested in starting a conversation with her anymore. It confused Kaliyah more than anything, what kind of thing was told about her that made even the old man Haru spend less time telling stories and avoiding contact with her. The mystery of this would be revealed by no other than her younger sister, who also was going to partake in studying the medical-ninjutsu, that the rumor was started by the Old Nan and possibly spread by Botan as well.

It was told that she brought shame to the clan on their latest journey, how she ruined every tie with the allies they had beforehand, who in truth were lost to the opposing clans' treachery and greed and on her fathers command, not hers. She didn't even have that sort of power and rank yet. These were not even the worst of it all, as Kaliyah knew them to be lies. What really struck Kaliyah was the supposed rumor that her own father was planning on resigning her and planning to betroth her to someone unknown to her, to strengthen a bond with yet another clan. That would mean effectively getting rid of her from his work and removing her free will. Like a salt on the wound and what Kaliyah took to be true, Hachirou made her take a break from her duties, commanding her to instead return to her own hobbies and whatever she would have liked. A break that would last for an unknown period of time; Kaliyah was certain this was the end of things for her.

Later one late evening, Kaliyah retreated into the woods she didn't visit for the more than four years she had been made an apprentice. An old cottage house that stood under a great canopy of tall and old trees still remained there, enveloped by pale ivies and great shrubs that climbed all the way to the roof and grew even on the inside. It was a remote place, quiet and very far away from the center clan grounds, far away from the jests and rumors. It was the place where she managed to nurture a cherry tree on the side of the house that now grew far above her head, the branches filled with unopened blossoms. She hid in one of the rooms that was engulfed in darkness, sunlight unable to come through the thick ivy. Iwao had managed to find her the next evening, when she had let out her sorrows into the night. When all misery evaporated, leaving behind a lack of any sensation.

"Little bird.." Iwao called to her, for a moment afraid when he noticed her unmoving figure in the dark. Kaliyah did not respond to him, having no strength to voice any of her thoughts. Instead her glossed eyes found his, before she averted her eyes and only padded her way onto the porch of the little house where the two sat down, knowing Iwao wouldn't let go of this that easily. Kaliyah didn't want him schooling her, she hated being looked down on in any way, and at first sense of it when he spoke her expression turned sour, anger churning in her, but she didn't act on it in the end.

No matter how much her frown dug itself into her features, no matter how much Iwao spoke to her. She grit her teeth and remained silent. In the end her sensei ended up talking about an old story, a story from his childhood. Surprisingly so, it definitely took Kaliyah off guard seeing how he rarely spoke of himself in the past. He was the greatest mystery. He told her of how terrible he was as a child in terms of temper, an orphan boy in a small clan that could hardly tolerate him at times. He made mistakes of trusting certain people, who spread horrible rumors about him which turned him quite resentful. Even going as far as considering taking some sort of revenge for making the whole village hate him. He was just as adventurous as she was,he told her, often traveling way beyond the borders and into the wilderness on his own. That was until the absolute destruction of the place he called home. He returned to the sounds of thunder and screams of agony with the whole village set ablaze. From there he became very vague, he was taken by someone but he managed to escape and started to jump town to town in search of hope. And he found hope when he met her father.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

______

Calm before the storm

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

The state of the small but growing Clan was starting to worsen. Many more fell victim of the ways of war and many more were injured on the battlefield. Once a powerful and noble clan now became a vulnerable target. They started to fight day and night, pushing the enemies off their grounds and trying to keep them away; there was no more diplomacy. Hachirou was now all about the battles, violence, and even he attended the many battles around his home. Atsuko was now always in her room, often with Utiss when her daughter was free of studies. The tangible tension in the household was now at its peak. There was no more trust and no more kindness that once was there. No more love. Only hatred and suspicions.

Kaliyah still remained quiet, her voice of reason overthrown by her father's sudden evil and his siding with his mother. The young girl opted to sneak away and spend her nights in that cottage after everyone else fell into slumber. That is also where she would often meet with her sensei who tried making the times easier for her by bringing paper made birds or pulling the tricks in sparring that she once found amusing and laughable. Iwao himself was growing uneasy with the familial situation, having raised Botan in the same fashion he did Kaliyah until he was made to step back from active duty. Only Botan took on a more damaging nature as he grew. Iwao understood what Kaliyah represented to Botan, it was unmistakable. To Botan she was nothing but a threat and a rival. Seeing just how much Kaliyah naturally did better at the business their father gave them, how much more thoughtful she was and eager to help; it was only a matter of time until Botan stood against her.

A sudden illness struck her father and got him bedridden. It was during his time at a battlefield far from their home and by the time they got him to a proper medic he was already slipping past their fingers. The medic did as much as she could, Utiss helping her make remedies in hopes of improving her fathers health but in the end they were only able to stabilize him. A forbidden jutsu was the thing that caused the harm. It clung to the chakra networks and successfully muted it, and asides from that it affected the blood cells and made any of the body's effort to cure the fever a failure. It took a few days for him to finally come to consciousness and when he did he called for Kaliyah again, much to her relief.

Quickly jumping back into the waters she followed her fathers commands, with Iwao at her side. The lies were still spreading around like wildfire again and her status and motives as half Sen-Ryoko were questioned by many. Some directly giving offense to the girl. All while she and Botan sat by his sides in shifts avoiding each other whenever possible. Just days before he fell unconscious again, in what most guessed to be his final time, Hachirou wrote a letter, stating that he names Kaliyah of the Clan Genji the head of the Clan and the heiress. This was shattering to Botan, who nurtured nothing but hate for Kaliyah, her mother and her sister for the past year. So much to the point of hate being his fuel. He was the rightful heir, he had the right, he was not some half bred child who had other clans blood. The news absolutely enraged him. And at the advice of the old nan, he decided to go through his plan of killing the threats.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

______

The Exile

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

Iwao, who still moved between the heirs of Hachirou, overheard this conversation. He never believed he would take it this far, never. Iwao hurried to the mother who was still grieving, and her two daughters trying to comfort her. He practically busted the door down, commanding them to pack the necessities and to follow him. Atsuko, even in her deep grief understood, and struck with great fear for her children's safety she was quick to move. Meanwhile Kaliyah stood in the main room of the house, questioning Iwao-sensei. The light of the half crescent moon shone through the large windows, and then it turned to dancing flames of fires set around the house. Realizing how little time they had, Iwao pushed Kaliyah to start running, Utiss and her mother waiting by the back door. It was only a matter of time before the ninja themselves arrived at the location. Iwao ran behind them while Atsuko took the lead, pushing their way through the great thicket of woods that swallowed them whole.

Grass almost reaching up to Iwaos hips, Utiss being completely swallowed by the green. The approaching steps of the ones after them were swiftly approaching, they made no attempt at staying quiet, each branch the scaled and each step they took was marked by an audible crunch or a hollow creaking sound. They made their way into an open cave, an old mine whose tunnels lead to open fields and a certain escape. Iwao suddenly stopped when they reached the middle of the tunnel's path. He told them to go, to flee. All three of them stopped, hoping Kaliyah would be first to argue. Iwao was surprised to hear Atsuko's voice disagreeing with him. Leaving her two daughters she took long and swift strides until she stood before him, the flame of the torch he held illuminating her determined but distressed gaze.

Labored breath, her expression formed in one of sadness now. Iwao stood quiet, listening to the thundering pursuit of the team sent after them, if not half the Clan too. Turning to look at her children the woman smiled, in what felt like years, after so long of misery in the home she was genuinely smiling at them. Iwao tried to reason with her then, trying to argue how her children needed their mother but his arguments cancelled out. Utiss first ran into her mothers embrace, tears streaming like waterfalls, beginning her to come with them. "No one has to die." Meanwhile Kaliyah stood before her mother, glossy eyes and a solemn look. Iwao, at loss of arguments and lack of time, snatched Utiss by the arm and started running again, flying past Kaliyah who soon followed after saying her own goodbye to her mother, a simple vocalized goodbye to her mothers apology. A single tear rolled down Kaliyah's cheek before she turned around and disappeared into the darkness of the humid cave. Last thing she really saw was her mother weaving signs, a thick dirt wall rising from the ground and blocking her own escape to the other side. Despite her lack of practice and years of being a housewife, her wits were still as sharp in her last moments as they were in her youth. Using the cloak of the darkness as her main shield and using what she knew of taijutsu and ninjutsu to buy any time she could for the escape of her two daughters.

Days would go by since then with great tension between the trio, Utiss being the most affected by her mothers death. They barely stopped for rest or even food and water, all three of them were growing tired by the hour. Encouraging the girls to keep going, Iwao led them further away into the wilderness of the lands that remained unclaimed. It wasn't until Utiss had fallen unconscious that they were forced to stop, taking shelter in the tall tree trunks, far from anyone's reach and prying eyes. They rested there for a period of time, waking up to a fire at the trees twisted roots and Iwao-sensei at its side. The smell of smoke and cooking meat woke them both up.

Iwao told Kaliyah that he was uncertain where they had to go, the Sen-Ryoko clan was their only option if they planned on reaching any form of safety. But Iwao scarcely knew of their location and now with the lack of whispers and news bringers, they had to really work to find their way around safely. Kaliyahs skill at travel came naturally to her, enhanced by her previous knowledge and previous travelling. Now they were at an all time risk of being killed, be it by their pursuers or by another clan whose territory they may stumble upon even if they were careful with where they headed.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

_____

The Kyofū

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

Months after their initial escape they have made their way closer and closer to the shores and the sea. They had come across many small cities where they ended up finding more food and other supplies. Both Kaliyah and Utiss underwent a more subtle form of training from Iwao, focused primarily on the art of stealth and staying undetected. During this time, physical training was put off so as to not draw attention to themselves. Utiss, who was quite unsatisfied and stubborn to these techniques in the start, did well in the lessons, even succeeding past Kaliyah in certain aspects. Where Kaliyah was more prone to clumsiness, Utiss was quick to act and smooth things over, quick witted.

They stayed near the many rivers that lead to the sea for a while longer, resting and smoothing their skills. They were getting comfortable until one day a group of mercenaries recognized Iwao. They became surrounded and even if all three of them somehow worked together, they were at a great disadvantage and any attempt at fighting would ultimately fail. Kaliyah would have taken up a sword still, pushing her sister behind her. The leader of the small group of mercenaries revealed to seemingly hold quite a grudge against Iwao, spitting hateful and quite rude comments to which Iwao stayed quiet and confused, but in the end the man surprisingly laughed. All past comments now left in the dust, all made of sarcasm that the two sisters could barely grasp. Much to all of their surprise. Iwao soon followed in on his laugh. The two would hug, greeting each other with the title of "brothers of war". The tangible tension suddenly disappeared from the air and Iwao would go on to explain their situation briefly, going as far as to ask for the mercenary leaders - Tsuyoshi- for their aid.

Tsuyoshi agreed, although he freely expressed his distaste for their plan to reach the other clan, saying how they should have just forgotten about it all and started a new life, mentioning how dangerous it all was, including the clan themselves. Later he would even mention the great serpents and eagles they possessed, stories carried from ear to ear between people,, confessing that it was his least liked place to go. They packed their scattered things and started their journey with the group as early as sunbreak. The travel was tough now, having to keep up with the ever changing schedule and fast moving pace of the group that was named The Kyōfū. Due to the situation of the three, the journey to the great plains north-west took even longer. Having to do a full detour across the desert. During their travels Kaliyah would hardly let Utiss alone, even if she was in the company of Iwao who she grew suspicious of. She couldn't understand how he could trust them. Her image of them soured even more when Tsuyoshi criticized her for not standing up properly against Botan when she had the time. It greatly frustrated her, his way of thinking and way of doing things. His way of thinking was so simple. But if they were to reach the Sen-Ryokō, she had to have patience, which by that point was starting to dwindle.

Finally, after almost a month of travel they reached their destination. The sand and rock which they got used to travelling through turned to green and lush grass, hills and mountains would start to surround them, loom over them and Kaliyah was certain that sometimes the tall giants of mountains had eyes of their own. The mercenaries made camp in the great roots of what they called the Mother Mountain. The trio was almost free to go, with Tsuyoshi constantly warning his old friend about the supposed nature of the people they were trying to find. He told so many tales and alleged truths it made Kaliyahs head spin with the numerous possibilities. Her mind was oftentimes going to the ideas of dragons, in which case they stood no chance against them if it came to the worst of the worst. All their attempts would have been in vain. The tales her mother told her all now resurfaced as well as the tales of the Old Nan, ingrained in her head till the end of days. It made Kaliyah fearful to the bone, but now with having to take care of Utiss and remain strong, and with how often she got criticized for such things, she remained quiet and completely closed with her emotions. Withdrawn completely within herself. She was becoming homesick for the place that didn't exist.

The place she was born in was no longer her home, and the Sen-Ryokō didn't seem so great and friendly anymore. Utiss showed her gratitude for the group's aid by giving them medical treatment and advice for any future incidents, getting to know the people of the small group through that interaction. Utiss still continued on with the techniques Iwao taught them, subtly pushing each of them to tell her more. Despite her older sister's disagreement, Utiss still went out of her way to collect intel and soon after became friendly with the others. She showed hesitation when it was time to part with the Kyofu, while Kaliyah was happy they were once again alone, even with the risks it all brought. There was no backing down. The trio would quickly come across and once again be cornered by someone, this time Iwao recognized their sigil, their symbol. In their quick quarrel the four of the foes worked as one, it was quick to catch them, but at the moment of Iwao's realization and confession they were hesitant and suspicious of the three. The three could have been a part of a greater plan. So instead of the nice treatment they were practically taken hostage and brought before the Clan leader and elder. Iwao, despite his usual, diplomatic self, after the tough journeys and almost no sleep, pleaded with the man to give the girls the safety. It took a long conversation between him and the leader before the girls were brought in as well to speak. Kaliyah spoke the most, with Utiss chipping in every so often to vouch for her sister and Iwao-sensei.

Upon a long and thorough conversation between Iwao, Kaliyah and the clan leader, they were allowed to stay under strict supervision until they proved themselves to be true. The old man was greatly saddened by the death of his only child, regretful of his choice of sending her away, yet it was too late to grieve now. He had taken a liking to the two sisters quite quickly after, seeing a lot of their mother in them and seeing as they were nothing but children he felt sympathy for their situation. Kaliyah and Utiss, despite Iwao's worries, were pulled away by a pair of clan members, two older women who made sure the sisters were well fed and got a new change of clothes. While Utiss quite enjoyed the attention and the warmth the women brought with them, the affection they tried to show in hopes of bringing comfort; Kaliyah was very unsure. Mind still plagued with worries and many things alike. Remembering the things her mother had told her about the Clan, all the things she heard about the Sen-Ryokō, she didn't want anything more but to be left alone. She had started to dream about going back to the cottage and being at peace.

The following days were spent with their trials, from things as blunt as combat experience to more subtle things where members of the clan were sent to subtly interrogate the three. It quite some time until the clan decided they were worthy enough of their trust and would finally start to treat them nicely. Upon request, Kaliyah met with the clan leader, her grandfather. He told her that the word brought the Genji were quite weak, but that Botan was nowhere near nice when it came of the Sen-Ryokō people that were left behind. He asked of her to tell him everything as his plan was to infiltrate and take the people back, perhaps even attack, even he was unclear about his plan. Kaliyah was opposed to the idea of going back, it was not worth the trouble and risking even more lives as well as her own. She came off as quite selfish in their discussion, but with nagging from Utiss and Iwao, she succumbed to their request. It was true, she didn't want to do anything but stay far away from the Genji grounds, but she couldn't deny the guilt that ate away at her when she tried declining to help them. And as the second oldest, and only heir of the Sen-Ryokō, she was forced to care and accept. So many people were sent under Botan controlling claws, and so many were suffering each day. It was an internal battle Kaliyah had to fight. In the end, Utiss and the other two won the discussion, which resulted in Kaliyah starting her training once again and harder than ever before. Technically, as she was the only child of the clan head, and the oldest, she was to become its leader one day. But due to her young age, she was not officially rewarded with that title. Iwao would become her best advisor and the holder of the said title.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

_____

The Old Lair

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

It did not take long for Botan to send people south for their heads. The small team that infiltrated the borders were quickly noticed however; few border guards lost their lives in the process of their swift attacks. Their main goal was to find the sisters, and they didn't take a break, they barely spared anyone else their time even when the alarms were sent out. By the time the team reached the location of the younger sibling, the news of the intruders had already spread around like wildfire and both Kaliyah and Iwao were already at the location as well. The moment before the blades crashed felt overwhelming, seeing the faces of the ones that were in their pursuit that night, the ones who killed her mother too no doubt; Kaliyah felt sad, then angry, almost revenge thirsty. She has never felt that amount of anger before, that amount of grief turned to rage. While Utiss fled to safety behind them through the maze of the forests, Kaliyah and Iwao along with several others ruthlessly fought against the intruders. Iwao yelled over the noise and the ruckuss at Kaliyah who was slowly losing herself in the battle, not sparing a single blow, not pulling any of her strikes back. She could barely hear him, or she chose not to hear him, she didn't know for sure, she could hardly feel the pain when the enemy's blade made contact with her flesh. But once she saw that the battle had to be wrapped up quickly, as their fighting was damaging things around them, Kaliyah took it a step further, almost forgetting all things she had learned and instead distracted half of the group, pushing them into chasing her. The chase was long and swift, with Kaliyah leading them through the great plains of the mountains, far beyond the borders. It was then when the effects of the blood loss began to weigh her down. The winds were wild that night, rising great dirt and sand storms around them and almost knocking them all over certain cliffs.

Once she reached the higher points of the mountain she turned around in order to face them, they were out in the open now, she noticed finally. Moon shone down upon them and the smooth stone while the raging wind continued to blow. Steel crashed against steel, sending sparks flying all around into their faces. The young heiress didn't back down, but she was now weak despite her stubbornness. Even with all the anger and the will she held, she couldn't defeat them like this. Gathering all strength she could and with the help of her chakra, she jumped high into the sky before weaving the signs of her wind jutsu. Sending a quick but powerful wave of winds that sliced into her enemies and the floor like it was nothing. As she began to fall back to the floor the ground under her suddenly cracked. Two of the men that survived her attack suddenly got up and charged at her, tackling her to the ground and thus making the ground completely shatter underneath them. They fell into the dark abyss, the half crescent moon only giving them some semblance of light.

Kaliyah used the winds to her advantage and cushioned her fall by the slightest, while the other two had caught onto the ledges they could grasp. She was now completely cornered, in the complete darkness she could tell that there was no way out. The enemies loomed over her, she was certain this would be her end. She was almost out of chakra and the previous anger was washing off, leaving all the pain and soreness behind. The two above her started to chip in comments through gritted teeth, words like venom as they slowly dropped from one ledge to the other, carefully making their way down. Kaliyah gathered herself, gripping her sword in her hand as graciously as she could. Blood stained the ground. A small breeze was blowing in the small cavern, something Kaliyah didn't understand. The warmth of it was a great contrast to the freezing winds of the mountain peaks. Kaliyah focused on the two ahead, placing the blade close to her face, a short moment to admire the fine blue sheen over the cool steel. Just when the two charged she stepped into the darkness and dodged the kunais one of them sent her way. Just as she appeared once again in their field of vision, something bigger stepped behind her.

The horrified looks of the enemies faces alone made Kaliyah's blood run cold. The small rumble of the ground and the warm breeze returned at a bigger scale and just in the last second Kaliyah dodged behind a great rock when a stream of hot fire lightened up the cavern. The fires licked at everything, warming up the stone where the young girl hid but she didn't step away until the flames stopped and the screams of anguish subsided. Panting and drained of all energy, her mind was hazy and going wild with the situation, attempting to wrap her head around it. Daring to pop her head out from behind the rock she was met with big green eyes illuminated by the dying flames, teeth sharp as daggers and white whiskers resembling snakes. The snarl of the great beast was slowly fading, and when its burning gaze met Kaliyahs the beast let out a guttural growl.

A dragon stood before her. Scaring her from her hiding she was pushed to stand directly under the moon's glow while the only thing she saw of the beast was the glowing eyes and the illuminated maw it possessed. The beast sniffed at the air, at her scent, the moment felt as if it lasted so much longer, each second felt dragged on to the end. Suddenly, it spoke. "Go." It was enough to snap Kaliyah out of her dazed state, seeing the horrible beast retreat into the darkness and she no longer felt frozen. Her feet were quick to move and find her footing as she scaled the steep walls of the cavern, without a thought she climbed out and made her way down the mountain. Next time she woke, she got quite a bit of scolding from Iwao, scolding her for her actions.

But night after night, her dreams were filled with the scene when the dragon stood in front of her. Sometimes the dragon in her dreams would burn her to ash, and in others he'd simply stare from the darkness. Kaliyah would begin to question if she was just dreaming of dragons and thinking that perhaps she didn't actually see one. Whatever the truth was, it bothered Kaliyah and when duties gave her time off she ventured into the village in hopes for answers. Over time of their initial exile and time in the foreign lands, Kaliyah became completely withdrawn and secretive, her social skills were no longer the best and polished. She became blunt, asking some of the older people of the clan about stories of the flying beasts. It was a bit upsetting, seeing how some of them reacted, sour reactions, but most of them were more than willing to tell her. The last great dragon of the clan had died almost 200 years ago, and it cost them almost everything. Before that, dragons were highly valued among the clansmen, the people a dragon chose to work with were treated with utmost respect and were the guardians of the Clan. The dragons and their masters were seen as the force to be reckoned with, nothing could get past them. The kin of the great beasts was slowly thinning out, not that there were too many to begin with, but when it came to the last known dragon it became a sad story.

The last of their kind, the honorable beast, burned his master to ashes unexpectedly, along with the many that closely worked with the woman. They were left alone and hearing their great loss many other clans came to claim the fertile lands for their own. They were defenseless. No one was there to protect them after their own guardians left them in the dust and the dragon they once looked up to disappeared, dead they said. But now Kaliyah knew it to be a lie, she had just seen a dragon! The dragons were not dead, the one she encountered was a youngling, still small. While the great beast that betrayed them was described as a looming giant. A lot about the dragons was shrouded with biased opinions and the information was very vague so a lot was left up to Kaliyah to find out. The time would prove for it to be a hard task to gather intel, this would take time. With that taking up too much time, time that she could otherwise spend more productively, she decided on an additional approach.

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#naruto oc #naruto #naruto shippuden #tobirama x oc #kaliyah sen ryoko #warring States #Part 1 #senju

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ithinkilikeit-reactions · 4 years

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Let me take you away (Hongjoong/Smut)

Tags: Pirate au! Mentions of abuse, smut, really just love making, nothing rough

Word count: 3718... a short one for my standards

Drinking in the sunlight was getting more and more difficult as it slowly started to go down. The sky turning orange mixed with pinks and purples as it did so. As much as you wanted to bask in it, you also admired the colors that painted the sky. You couldn’t help but feeling draw to the outdoors today, something about the fresh air made you wonder.

He was free and you felt like a prisoner. Trapped by your duties as someone of importance in this cruel world. All you wanted was to be free with him.

“What are you doing outside?” You knew your husband’s voice and it nearly disgusted you. You glanced behind you, through the doors of your balcony and into your room. “Just enjoying the fresh air.” You mumbled, hearing his heavy footsteps behind you and joining you on the balcony.

You weren’t wearing much, a satin night gown that stopped mid-thigh and a robe made of thin fragile fabric, with lace trim. This was provoking for your husband, his hand now on your hip roughly. You swallowed thickly, not appreciating the gesture whatsoever. The feeling only intensifying when you felt his lips near you ear. “When are you going to start sharing quarters with me?” You cringed, you physically cringed at his words. Not wanting that to ever happen, you never wanted him near you in that way.

His hand moved from your hip up to the back of your neck, forcefully pushing your body to bend forward. Your chest hit the hard marble of the balcony railing and he gripped your hair. Your husband leaned forward, his lips by you ear once more as you gasped due to the force.

“One day you will be greatfull for me.” He muttered and let your body go, leaving you in shock. Sliding to the floor, you clutched your knees to your chest and watched the man you hated so much just walk away.

The governor had fallen for you, seeing you when he made a visit to your inn one day and claiming you were his. He had that right. Only the man didn’t know your heart belonged to another. He wasn’t aware that you had someone that would visit in the night, someone that loved you truly and deeply, someone that you loved truly and deeply.

Kim Hongjoong was a pirate, he instilled fear in most people’s hearts and when you first met him he did the same to you. He needed rooms for his men when they stumbled into your inn one evening. The storm that raged on that evening making it quite difficult to remain on their ship given the option.

You knew who they were immediately, their clothing and demeanor giving it away instantly. But you weren’t one to turn down business, so you pushed it all to the side and gave them harbor. It had been a slow year, so you took the money where you could. That evening, you had to admit was peacefull. Not something you expected from a group of pirates. You also had to admit that their captain had caught your eye.

“You know who we are.” His voice came from next to you. It was late into the evening and you were sat at a table with a lonely candle, reading. You turned your attention to him, the pirate standing before you. “I do.” You said and looked back at your book. “You haven’t notified the authorities yet?” He asked, an eyebrow raised at your fearless form. “Why would I? You haven’t caused me any disturbance and you are paying for the provided services.” You looked at him again, the candle light making his eyes sparkle.

“Fascinating woman you are.” He said and sat down across from you. The comment made you blush, much to your dismay. Thankfully the room was too dimlit for the captain to tell. “You’re reading about adventures.” He said after reading the title of the book in your hands. “Ever have any of your own?” He asked and you locked eyes for a moment.

You had lived there your whole life, taking over the inn when your parents passed on and didn’t have time for the freedom of travel.

You shook your head and the man nodded in understanding. “Would you like me to tell you about ours?” He asked and you shut your book gently. Your attention being fully on him now. The candle light lit his features to show a kind face and he couldn’t help but feel attracted to yours. As you nodded your head at his question, he couldn’t stop himself from smiling.

That evening he had told you about unbelievable life. The travels, the fights and the horrible nights at sea. He told you about all the places he had seen, the most beautiful locations not being able to hold a candle to you in his opinion. You had seemingly fell in love with one conversation, as odd as it seemed.

“You’ve seen so much.” You said, your head resting in your hand as you listened intensly. He chuckled, moving his hand across the table to take yours. “You could come and see things too.” Hongjoong said and you were taken back. You met him less than a day prior. “That’s a big offer. What are the terms?” You asked and he smirked at you, sending a shiver through your body in a way you weren’t expecting. “You become mine.” His words caught you off guard and he could tell.

“I feel honored, but I can’t leave the inn. It was my parents’.” You told him and he sighed. “What a shame, I don’t like being on land long.” Hongjoong stood up and moved to sit next to you instead. In reality you should have been terrified, but you weren’t. Hongjoong brushed your hair off of your shoulder, exposing your cleavage more and your collarbones. His eyes flickered down for a moment and you took a deep breath. “But I guess this gives me a reason to come back.” He added, his fingers dancing over your collarbones. You weren’t stopping him and you weren’t planning too. His touch felt nice and you couldn’t remember the last time a man had touched you. Let alone one with an air of danger around him. It thrilled you. Kim Hongjoong was your adventure.

His hand moved to the back of your neck, pulling you in for a swift kiss, his lips being surprisingly soft against yours. You didn’t hesitate either, something animalistic taking over you as your fingers went to his hair.

The next morning was chilly especially considering you woke up completely bare in the pirate’s bed. The man himself still asleep next to you, snoring lightly. You weren’t feeling any regret, maybe a bit of nerves and a dull ache inbetween your legs. But no regret. Yet you had duties to do in the inn and moved to get out of bed. Hongjoong’s arm quickly wrapped around your waist. “Don’t leave, not yet.” He told you, sleep very apparent in his voice. His eyes were half open looking at you, a small smile playing on his lips. “Alright, a little longer then.” You said and fell back into his arms.

Later that day, you said goodbye. Not expecting you’d ever see him again. Which was fine, he had been your one night adventure and you were alright with that. Yet he played on your mind more than you cared to admit. Though, he returned. Much to your surprise.

Hongjoong couldn’t help but return to your small inn multiple times, love for you growing more and more each time. Nights spent together, stories told and heartbreak each time he left.

He had been gone months by the time the governor came around and seemingly stole you. You had no way of telling your love what had happened, considering it was all done so quickly and the fact that you had no choice.

Hongjoong’s heart dropped, appearing at the inn only to find the building burned to the ground. The bones of the place he had met the woman he couldn’t stop thinking about, the woman he had shared a bed with, being the only things left standing. He thoroughly believed you were dead. It wasn’t uncommon for thieves to do things like that and he blamed himself. He blamed the life he chose for himself instead of staying with you. Hongjoong was angry.

Then the news reached him of a wedding, your wedding. The governor marrying a lowley in inn keeper was big news, news big enough to reach him at sea.

Hongjoong re-entered your mind as you sobbed on the balcony of your home. You had been married for a few short months now, having not seen Hongjoong in almost a year. He was the only man you ever loved, the only one who ever treated you right and he was a pirate and he was gone. You didn’t know if he was dead or imprisoned or just still out at sea. It devastated you how you got seperated this way.

You found the energy to push yourself off of the ground and stand up. It now being completely dark outside and your chest and ribs hurt from the force of the earlier blow. You walked into your room and removed your robe before going to lay in bed. You simply wanted to forget the events that had just occured. Curling up into your blankets, you shut your eyes and went to sleep.

Hongjoong had snuck his way into the garden of the governor’s house, he had finally got back to land and you were his first priority. He had no idea where to begin, he was going into this blindly with no plan. Though he was sure, he would slit the governor’s throat if it came down to it. He was going to get you out and he was taking you with him. Though he had gotten lucky, seeing the balcony as an easy spot to enter the house.

He was wearing the clothes that instilled fear in peoples hearts when they saw him. The black coat a little tighter on him than the last time you had seen him, he had been through hardships at sea and his body was showing them. His black hat sat on his head with his seemingly shorter hair underneath and the mask covered his mouth and nose. Hongjoong’s eyes were the only feature on his face visible as he entered your bedroom.

His heart pounded in his chest, seeing a figure in bed. It was dark in the room, making Hongjoong draw his sword. He didn’t want any nasty surprises. Slowly, he entered the room thinking the person in bed was still sleeping. His sword was raised ready for action if they moved. He couldn’t tell who it was at all.

“Just do it. If you’re going to kill me, just do it. Put me out of my misery.” You sat up in bed. You had heard the person entering your room through the balcony, finding that sleep didn’t come to you as easy as you had hoped. If this man was hear to kill you, you weren’t going to stop him.

The second Hongjoong saw your face and heard your voice, it didn’t matter that it was dark. The hand holding his sword fell quickly, especially hearing your words. “Why are you in misery?” He asked and the voice was incredibly familiar to you, painfully familiar. You took a good look at the attire, scanning the man from the feet up. You knew the clothing. Your gaze stopped at his eyes, the moonlight that showed through the room making them sparkle in a way you knew all too well.

“Hongjoong?” You asked, the blanket that covered you slipping down. The man took his mask off and you knew for sure. Pushing the sheets of your bed to the side as Hongjoong dropped his sword to hold you.

Your emotions went through the roof instantly, tears of relief and joy streaming down your cheeks as your arms wrapped around Hongjoong’s neck. His arms were snug around your waist, face tucked into your neck as he absorbed the way you felt holding him. You moved back slightly, your hands cupping his face as you examined it. It had been so long since you had seen him last. He looked tired and had some new scars on his face but he was just as handsome as before.

Hongjoong couldn’t help but smile at your face, wiping your tears away. “You look beautiful.” He said, his thumb swiping over your lips gently. “I thought you were dead.” You mumbled and he tilted your face to look at him.

Hongjoong kissed you for the first time in almost a year and you had never experienced a kiss so full of emotion. One hand cupped your cheek and the other pulled you into him as close as you possibly could be. Your own hands moved to his hair, knocking his hat to the floor. The kiss deepened dramatically, his tongue dragging over your lips. You couldn’t help but hum in response, the last time you were touched like this being the last time you had seen Hongjoong.

Hongjoong’s kiss got hungrier, hands moving from your face down your body. You couldn’t help but wince in pain as his hands moved your ribs, already being bruised from your husbands attack a few hours prior. Hongjoong looked at you, lifting your night gown with a serious expression. You never winced at his touch.

The bruising was minor but enough to make his blood boil. “I’m going to kill him.” He muttered, moving to grab his sword. The grip you had on his arm stopping him and making him look at you. “Don’t. Please, we can just leave.” You said, cupping his face once more. Hongjoong’s jaw clenched, thinking of the man who stole you from him.

You kissed him, harder this time around. As much as you hated your husband, you loved Hongjoong more and wanted him focussed on that. Your fingers moved under his coat and pushed it off of his shoulders, dropping to the floor with a light thud. Hongjoong took a step forward, pushing you back on to your bed as lightly as he could. Crawling over you, he discarded your nightgown somewhere in the room and it left you almost completely bare. He drank your body in, a sight he truly missed.

His lips started at your neck, dragging over the skin before nipping at it lightly. Hongjoong wanted to mark you, he wanted everyone in the whole world to know you were his. The small purple lovebites starting to already fill your skin and your hands started tugging at his blouse, wanting it off and wanting to feel his skin on yours again. He abided by your wishes, throwing it across the room before you connected your lips again.

That was when the ink on his skin caught your eye. The small tattoos that littered his skin, some being familiar and some being new. They were the things you traced when you couldn’t sleep at night or when you and him simply were talking. It was one of the small things you loved.

The feeling of his fingers ghosting over your core snapped you out of your trance. His lips absorbing the gasp that left you and smiling against you. Hongjoong remembered how to make you feel that way and only he could.

Slowly, he rubbed circles over your clit. He wasn’t kissing your skin anymore, he was just watching you. Taking in all of your reactions and absorbing them. Small gasps left your lips and your eyes fluttered shut, finally feeling some relief. Hongjoong couldn’t help but smile softly watching you, moving down slightly and peppering kisses over your breasts. He bit down on your nipple lightly, swirling his tongue over it. He used this as a distraction before dipping his fingers down further, slipping inside of you with ease at how wet you were.

A louder gasp left you, causing you to thread you fingers through his hair and pulling him closer. Hongjoong’s fingers curled inside of you, pumping slowly and his lips moved to your other nipple. Your gasps were getting progressively louder and it surprised you how fast your orgasm was approaching. “Hongjoong.” You breathed, the grip on his hair tightening.

“I can feel your close, I missed the way you feel my love. I missed the way you sound.” He whispered it, he wanted this to be scared. Even though no one else was around, he couldn’t let this moment be ruined.

The pace of his fingers quickened, hitting a spot that made you see stars. “I love you, I love you so much~” The words came out repeatedly as your orgasm washed over you. Your legs shaking slightly, trying to close them only for Hongjoong to press them to the mattress. “I love you too.” He said, his fingers pumping through your orgasm and slowing down gradually.

Sitting up, your hands moved to undo his trousers. You needed him so badly it almost hurt. He couldn’t help but chcukle at how fast your fingers were working, making you stop to look at him. Your eyes were darker and filled with need and you never looked more beautiful. You pushed out your lips, wanting him to kiss you again. Hongjoong’s smile was so bright as he kissed you again. Your hands working his pants again, slightly palming him through the fabric. Soft sighs escaping him and fueling your need.

He stepped out of the constricting fabric as his tongue snaked into your mouth once more. You wrapped your hand around his now exposed cock, pumping it as you kissed. Hongjoong’s breathing picked up as your hand pumped him a little faster and soft moans slowly started leaving his mouth. “Stop, not yet.” He groaned, pulling your hand off of him and pinning you to the bed.

Hongjoong fully settled inbetween your legs and wrapped them around his waist. He wasted no time fully sheathing himself inside of you and muffled your surprised gasp with his lips.

The feeling was so familiar and felt so right for the both of you. The way you were wrapped around him, gripping him tightly and he hit a spot that made you feel like you could see the whole universe.

Hongjoong had to compose himself, placing his arms by your head for support as he did so. Your hands traced over his face, running your fingers over his features and following the lines of his lips. He couldn’t help but look at you through hooded eyes and feeling you clench around him nearly set him off.

He rolled his hips almost experimentally to see if you were ready for him. When you didn’t stop his movement, he realised it was okay and picked up the pace gently. Your hips rolled up to meet his, your bottom lips caught inbetween your teeth to keep you from screaming out. You felt so good, tears couldn’t help but roll from your eyes and Hongjoong pressed his forehead to yours.

“You’re so beautiful.” He mumbled, watching the tears slowly roll down your cheeks as you bit back your sounds. Tucking his face into your neck, he moved his hands and held your thighs. “Just as beautiful as the first day I saw you.” He added, his praises nearly sending you over the edge alone. Your nails dug into his shoulders, leaving marks in their wake that he would wear like a badge of honor.

Small whimpers left your mouth as you were thrown over the edge, you tried your best to subdue your sounds. Hongjoong was surprised at how hard you clenched around him, feeling your body shake and convulse for him. He burried himself into you as deep as he could, cumming inside of you and groaning into your neck.

You pet his hair as he did so, your heavy breaths falling in tune with his. He looked at you, his hand wiping away the tears that rolled over your cheeks. “Let me take you away.” He said, still stroking your cheeks. “Let me take care of you, let me give you the adventure you have wanted. Let me give you safety.” He said, nearly crying himself. All the emotions of the last months coming out and hitting him at once.

“I’m all yours.” You whispered, still petting his hair. Hongjoong moved off of you and rested beside you in bed, your body getting hit with a chill. “Then we need to go, now.” He said and you looked at him. Tonight would be the only chance he had and there was no way he was leaving without you. “I thought you were dead.” He mumbled and sat up to look for his clothes. You stood up with him and did the same, your legs shaking slightly.

The mood in the room changed from being filled with love to being filled with hurry. You had realised how much time had past and that you would only have a few more hours before daylight came, there was no way you were going to stay there.

Pulling on a thick shirt and the only pair of trousers you had, you glanced at Hongjoong. He was back in his dark attire, the hat being seated on his head once more. Watching you, he shook off his coat before laying it over your shoulders. “It’s chilly out.” He mumbled before leaning in and kissing your cheek. The action was small and sweet, still managing to make you blush.

You grabbed his hand and held it against your lips and face. “Let’s go.” You mumbled, kissing his hand and he felt his chest heat up. “You can’t do sweet things like that in front of the crew, they’ll never let me live it down.” The moment was lighthearted, something you had missed. “All the more reason for me to do it, my dear.” You joked, a big smile on your face. You felt safe, you felt at home. Kim Hongjoong was your home. He was your adventure.

A/n: I feel like I started out strong and ended weak. Anyways... I digress. Feedback would be appreciated

#ateez #ateez reaction #ateez smut #hongjoong #hongjoong scenario #hongjoong reaction #ateez scenario #hongjoong smut #i tried y'all

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love-sapphirerose · 3 years

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Optimally Maximal Relationship Failures

https://www.deviantart.com/antoni-matteo-garcia/art/Optimally-Maximal-Relationship-Failures-863430102

This demotivational poster is super aggro and mega highly Anti-SessKagu, Anti-KogAya, Anti-InuKag, Anti-Kagura to some extent, Anti-Kouga to a vastly significant extent, Anti-Kagome to a huge extent, but also Pro-Sesshoumaru, Pro-Inuyasha, Pro-Ayame, and highly Pro-SessAyaInu. Sit back and relax, as I tear into Sesshoumaru's and Kagura's failure of a relationship, Kouga's and Ayame's major fart of a romance that should never have been, and Inuyasha's and Kagome's annoying volatility, why Kagura does not deserve Sesshoumaru, why Kouga and Kagome only deserve my ire, wrath, and fury, and why Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha, and Ayame deserve so much better in each other. Furthermore, this is my contribution to this year's Red Ribbon Reviewers' month. Behold, my dear readers, my three greatest NOTPs of all time. Sure, I consider Naraku with anybody my greatest choice of a NOTP because someone as manipulatively dastardly such as Naraku deserves to be alone, done for, and truly deserves jack shit! However, that is too obvious of a choice. These three are the ones that make me want to tear my hair off and carve the hearts of Kouga and Kagome out with a blunt knife as well as tell Kagura to vamoose. As you can clearly tell, I have put these from bad to worse to the worst, with Sesshoumaru x Kagura being something absolutely unpleasant, Kouga x Ayame being a whole lot more atrocious, and Inuyasha x Kagome being the indubitable equivalent to toxic waste mixed with gallons of poison. Ergo, SessKagu is a bad pairing, KogAya is so much worse, and InuKag is the absolute worst pairing to exist in Inuyasha. I am aware that there are a good number of people who love to pair Sesshoumaru with Kagura because of how appealingly sexy they appear together. However, now that I have discarded those rose-tinted glasses for good, I can see this failure of a relationship for what this signifies and this all falls on Kagura's shoulders. Lest one forget that Kagura killed Kouga's tribesmen of her own volition and got pleasure out of that, trapped Miroku and Sango at Mt. Hakurei also by her own volition, kidnapped Rin, used Akago as a vessel to feed on Kagome's dark side, was manipulated into serving Princess Kaguya in the false hopes of wanting her freedom, and tended to mock Inuyasha. All of these atrocities would make Sesshoumaru fully cognizant that Kagura is far from being his equal in a relationship. Her dirty record as well as her hissy fit at Sesshoumaru for not helping her desire to be free from Naraku make her a co-dependent partner which can only spell failure in the long-term. As a mother to Rin, she would definitely fail badly because of her aforementioned dirty record and she would not be fully worthy of any sort of emulation. For someone like Kagura who is a formidable fighter, she has abused her wind powers to cause chaos and misery. Her passing may be tragic, but the awful deeds she has done are not worthy of my forgiveness. At least Sesshoumaru is free from being in a co-dependent relationship with that polarizing wind sorceress. Kouga x Ayame or KogAya is a couple I will never understand the appeal of. Yes, they are both wolf yokai, but these two could not be any more different, as Kouga is a big bluffer of a bully and a Karma Houdini and Ayame is a naturally brave, strong, fearless warrior princess with hidden depths that should have been fully realized! I have dreaded at the thought of these two ending up together because of all the failures and atrocities that would all resurface if Ayame were to find out all the horrible crimes Kouga has committed against an innocent young girl, Rin, and his entire tribe. This also extends to him not being the strong fighter he has made himself out to be and nothing more than a perennially pathetic loser who has relied on the Shikon Jewel's power instead of harnessing his own strength, as if the Shikon Jewel shards on his legs are a metaphor for steroids being used to give someone an artificial boost of strength and power. If Ayame dared to discover all of those atrocities, crimes, and rubbish Kouga has committed, she will be undoubtedly appalled at him and would repudiate him for good. I will reiterate that all of my sympathy goes to Ayame because of the fact that she deserves so much better than this pathetic waste of effort and time and deserves to grow as a veritably formidable heroine worthy of emulation, especially to all the young girls of the world. The mere fact that Kouga and his wolves killed innocent villagers including Rin who has lost her family and had to wander the world alone before she was revived Sesshoumaru through his Tenseiga and got away with murder, mainly relied on the Shikon Jewel's power to accelerate his strength and speed without working that on his own, and did not avenge his fallen comrades at the hands of Naraku and Kagura should all make Ayame's insides turn and make her reject Kouga for good and for all. Ergo, Ayame does not deserve this pathetic Karma Houdini and deserves to estrange herself from him forever, thus making her be the mother Rin truly deserves and will gladly give her her unconditional love and compassion to help her grow as a person. Speaking of couples I do not understand the appeal of by any shape of the imagination, we have my most dreaded NOTP of all time in the form of Inuyasha x Kagome or InuKag. Even as a child of eleven years old, I did not tune in to Inuyasha to see their soap opera fart of a relationship desecrating Adult Swim let alone the airwaves no matter where I was watching this series. I mainly tuned in to Inuyasha to see him growing from strength to strength and kick loads of butt, especially in his full yokai form. Furthermore, the more I saw Kagome and her brand of shrewishness, manipulativeness, brattiness, pettiness, jealousy, and callousness, the more irritated I became. There was barely any semblance of a romantic relationship blooming between Inuyasha and Kagome, as it was more of Kagome being the owner to Inuyasha's pet, especially where the Beads of Subjugation and the purpose of Inuyasha's sword Tessaiga are concerned. The Beads of Subjugation were used for Inuyasha to not do anything rash while the Tessaiga, aside from being a sword of destruction, was also intended to be used to protect those who are oppressed. Being the manipulative shrew Kagome was, she believed this would give her leeway for Inuyasha to shield her and be her "knight in shining armor" who will save her from all forms of danger without honing her own skills as a fighter. What is worse is that Kagome extends her manipulation to Miroku, Sango, and Shippou aka The Dunderhead Family to be nothing more than her pathetic posse and have them jump on a certain bandwagon that has brought Inuyasha a whole bunch of trauma. I am, of course, talking about how he was still hurting from the guilt he felt when Naraku manipulated both him and Kikyou into betraying each other. Miroku, Sango, Shippou, and especially Kagome never understood Inuyasha's pain and trauma in the slightest and The Dunderhead Family think that anytime Kagome was hurt it was all because of him. Furthermore, there is the fact that Inuyasha and Kagome are an undeniable example of being in a Karmic relationship with each other, given the many times they have been yelling, bickering, squabbling, and getting themselves in a heap of messily addictive habits that will only dig them deeper into more quagmires than find any sensibility or profound meaning. It says something that someone as compassionate, genuine, kind, and natural as Rin makes a far better companion to Inuyasha than The Dunderhead Family and...ugh....Kagome combined. Do not even get me started on the first episode of Yashahime because Inuyasha still has those accursed Beads of Subjugation on and she still does not trust him where Kikyou was concerned. Kagome was never attentive to him, never understood him in a profound level, and always believed she had dominance over him. This, my friends, is why I absolutely loathe InuKag with all of my being and it stands perched atop the medal platform of shame as my most disdained NOTP of all time. InuKag makes SessKagu more tolerable in comparison and the only other NOTP to ever come close to InuKag's brand of disgust is KogAya. Regardless, InuKag is the NOTP I will never want to touch with a twelve-foot pole. You might even noticed a recurring theme in terms of my discussion of my Inuyasha NOTPs and that is the importance of Rin. Well, she does play an integral part in not only Sesshoumaru's life but also the lives of Inuyasha and Ayame. Considering that Kouga and his wolves killed her in cold blood and got away with murder, Kagura kidnapped her as ransom for Sesshoumaru to annihilate Naraku, and that Kagome and The Dunderhead Family do not even come close to Rin's brand of compassion, I say that it was high time for Sesshoumaru to ditch Kagura, Inuyasha to give a big, fat, ugly screw-you to Kagome, and Ayame to drop kick Kouga in his family jewels to be the worthy parents to give Rin the great home she truly deserves complete with siblings in the forms of Dai, Roku, Kai, Shiori, and Shinta. To make things better, Rin will be definitely grateful to have two strong, powerful, brave dads like Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha, one courageous, honorable, compassionate mom like Ayame, three tough, independent, loving older brothers like Dai, Roku, and Kai, a lovable, caring, compassionate "twin" sister like Shiori because they are also the same age though Shiori is a month younger than her, and a lovable, sweet, attentive younger brother like Shinta. Just squeeze in Shuran, Hakkaku, and Ginta to be her loving uncles and Shunran to be her equally loving auntie and it will be a glorious family Rin will be more than happy to be a part of. With that said, having a three-way relationship with Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha being the chivalrous, caring, noble husbands to Ayame is so much better than having these three suffer a series of terrible relationships. This also extends to how proud Toga the Dog General and The Wolf Elder shall be of their progeny for giving Rin a great home and for finding true friends in Shuran, Hakkaku, Ginta, and Shunran who are just as supportive of Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha, and Ayame being in a three-way relationship. In conclusion, I am so ecstatic to make SessKagu, KogAya, and especially InuKag my biggest NOTPs for life. I will never touch these failures with a twelve-foot pole ever again, but the putrid effect of these NOTPs will forever remain ingrained in my memory as a stern reminder what bad relationships can look like. From the co-dependency found in Kagura's failed relationship with Sesshoumaru to the utter deception and lies Ayame would have found herself falling hook, line, and sinker all for Kouga's pathetic hide to Inuyasha's and Kagome's fart of a relationship only spelling death and destruction for years to come, there is nothing that will salvage these losers together. I am just going to keep Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha, and Ayame in a loving three-way relationship complete with a great family they can call their own and Shuran, Hakkaku, Ginta, and Shunran are going to be part of that family as their siblings for life. I hope you all enjoyed my evisceration of SessKagu, KogAya, and InuKag as my biggest NOTPs for life and I would love to hear from you if you agree with me on this. Until then, I will see you in the next submission. Take care and Happy Holidays, everybody. Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha, and Ayame as well as the lame-os known as Kouga, Kagura, and Kagome from Inuyasha belong to Rumiko Takahashi and Sunrise.

#inuyasha #inuyasha the final act #anti inukag #anti kagome #anti sunrise

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onewfantaesy · 3 years

Note

Im gonna keep going if that is ok with you <3 so taemin slept at the dorm. Yay!!! Does he have any nightmares during the night? How does the morning go? Does taemin forget hes at the dorm and panics?

Upside Down: The Sleepover

(tw abuse, kidnapping)

It’s just a sleepover. That’s what Taemin tells himself, to make it less intimidating. They have dinner together, takeout from their favorite restaurant nearby, and they play video games and watch movies together. It’s fun and it’s like nothing changed at all.

Until Taemin wakes up in the middle of the night, his entire body flinching, a strangled gasp leaving his throat, cold sweat on the back of his neck and along his collarbone and the comforter trapping too much heat despite the chill from the air conditioning blowing right on his bed. He doesn’t know where he is, he doesn’t know what’s going on, he’s scared and he’s terrified and there are people in the room but he doesn’t know who or why or where to hide.

He’d had the dream again. The same one from when he was little. Of monsters hurting him and hunting him and now no one was here to make it better, to hold him, to promise him he’ll be alright.

“Taemin?” a sleepy voice calls, and Taemin snaps his head and shuffles to the furthest side of the bed away from the voice. “Taemin, are you okay?”

But it’s Jinki, it’s Jinki who’s shuffling on his own bed, sitting up, rubbing at his eyes. It’s Jinki and it’s okay he’s okay Jinki would never do anything to hurt him, Taemin knows that.

“Bad dream,” Taemin mumbles, trying to hide the way his voice is shaking and his hands are shaking and his whole body is shaking.

“It’s okay,” Jinki assures him. “It’s just a dream. Just go back to sleep.”

Taemin nods even though it’s too dark for Jinki to see, then flinches when a loud snore from someone else sounds throughout the room, and if he let out a muffled, startled yelp, he denies it.

Jinki just settles back in the bed and holds out an arm.

“C’mere.”

Taemin’s only slept in Jinki’s bed a couple times. Once was the very first night they moved into the dorm, before they even debuted, because he was homesick and he missed his parents and his brother and he was scared, and Jinki offered his bed as a way to comfort him. And it helped more than Taemin wanted to admit, because he didn’t want to look like a scared little kid in front of all these older boys.

Taemin doesn’t hesitate this time though, because he is scared and he realizes he is still a kid and he wants Jinki to protect him. So he crawls across to Jinki’s bed, dragging his cartoon-dog covered comforter with him, and he hides his face in Jinki’s shirt.

“Ugh, you’ve already got morning breath,” Jinki teases, and Taemin laughs and pouts and pushes his shoulder. “Go back to sleep now.”

And Taemin does go back to sleep, and this time he doesn’t dream at all.

When he wakes up again, he’s confused. He’s groggy and he’s confused and he can hear Kibum out in the kitchen talking to whoever is making breakfast for them that morning. Jinki is still snoring next to him, and Taemin is confused.

Because for a while, he’s convinced everything that’s happened in the last year was all just a bad dream. A terrible, horrible, scary bad dream. So he falls back into Jinki’s bed and snuggles up next to him, blissfully pushing back all the bad memories and pretending they never happened at all. He almost rolls back into his own bed, but when he puts his bare feet onto his own sheets, he feels how ice cold they are from the air conditioning blowing right in them, and he hisses and moves and presses his now-cold feet onto Jinki’s legs.

“Oh, fuck,” Jinki grunts, trying to push Taemin’s legs away. “Put your icicle feet somewhere else!”

It makes Taemin let out a mischievous little laugh, and he presses them further against Jinki’s calves, making the oldest hiss.

“Dammit, Taemin,” Jinki huffs, and he flops back onto the bed and rubs a hand over his face. “Go back to sleep, it’s too early.”

“It’s time for breakfast,” Kibum contradicts him, coming inside and pulling off all the blankets. “Get up.”

Jinki groans loudly, and Taemin can hear Minho cursing at Kibum when his own blankets get pulled off his bed.

“Stop putting it on the fucking floor!” Minho whines. “It’s gonna get dirty!”

“Get! Up!” is all Kibum says, throwing the blanket back on Minho’s bed to whack him with it instead.

Taemin sits up on the bed while the others start walking about, going into the bathroom, and checking out what’s for breakfast. He’s rubbing at his face and yawning and wondering what their schedule is for the day when he notices the barely-healed scar on his left hand, and it feels like his heart just dropped into his stomach.

Because it was real and it wasn’t a dream and it was all real and he wishes it wasn’t. He can’t move and he can’t stop shaking and he can’t move his eyes away from his hand.

“Taemin?”

He can hear Kibum calling his name, but he can’t move his mouth to answer him, can’t move his eyes to look at him.

Then he feels the bed dip and he feels a hand placed gently on his arm, but he can’t stop himself from panicking.

“I wanna go home,” he begs, his voice a strangled whisper.

“Taemin, it’s okay,” Kibum tries. “It’s just us. Come get breakfast.”

“I wanna go home,” Taemin repeats, his eyes burning. “I wanna go home now. Please, I wanna go home.”

“Okay, it’s okay,” Kibum soothes him, hugging him close. “You can go home. We’ll get someone to take you home.”

“No!” he screams. “No, no, no, I need - no, I need him to come get me, he has to come get me, no one else, no one else, no.”

The last time he left this dorm to be taken “home,” he was dropped off into his worst nightmare. He can’t go through that again, he can’t, he refuses to.

Sooman shows up soon after, and he replaces Kibum to hold Taemin close and to attempt to calm him down. The others are out of the room, trying to give them some privacy, but trying desperately to overhear whatever conversation is taking place. Their youngest member is in the midst of a panic attack, and they can’t even help him. It’s a horrible feeling, being helpless.

“You’re alright,” Sooman says softly, pushing Taemin’s hair out of his face. “You’re safe. You’re just at the dorm, that’s all. You spent the night here.”

“I wanna go home,” Taemin begs him. “Please, I wanna go home.”

“We’ll go home,” he says. “But you need to calm down a little. Let’s try to breathe normally, okay?”

He calms down after a few more minutes, after focusing on taking deep breaths and listening to Sooman talk about what they can do that day, after Taemin feels better. Things like breakfast and dance practice and what they should get for lunch. It helps, focusing on something else.

“I need to go into the office for a bit,” Sooman tells him. “Do you want to go home, or do you want to go to the office with me first?”

“I want to stay with you.”

“You can stay in the office with me,” Sooman tells him. “And then we’ll go home and do anything you want.”

They leave after Taemin washes his face and brushes his teeth, his feet shoved haphazardly into his shoes, pressing down the heels, an oversized sweatshirt that probably belongs to Jinki covering his pajamas. And Sooman holds him close, an arm held around his shoulders, guiding him downstairs into the garage, into the car, to go to the office.

Taemin is exhausted by the time they get there, and he falls asleep on the couch in Sooman’s office the second he steps inside. When he wakes up a couple hours later, Sooman is still there, sitting at his desk, shuffling through stacks of papers.

He feels better. Safer. But embarrassed.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles, hiding his face in the hood of the sweatshirt.

“You have nothing to apologize for,” is what he’s told.

Food arrives shortly after Taemin wakes up, and he goes to sit with Sooman at his desk. It’s not the way he has originally planned the day to go, but he supposes it could have been worse.

#taemin #shinee #onew #key #minho #upside down au

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greetjk · 4 years

Text

Ironfam Whump/Angst Fic Recs

Here is a masterlist of some of my all-time favorite whump/angst Spider-Man fics! If anyone is looking for some good reads while in quarantine, here you go! Be sure to read the tags and warnings associated with each story, because many of them have potentially triggering or sensitive subject matter. Read safe!!

CHAPTERED FICS

A Parent Apparent by happyaspie (446k+, ongoing)

Where Tony and Peter’s relationship grows into more of a father/son relationship after an accident involving Aunt May (who lives).

Identity Theft by KitCat992 (244k+)

It's been months since the events of Civil War, and the Avengers are doing their best to remain a team, having promised to forgive and forget. Unfortunately for them, Tony Stark's latest invention has been stolen and recovering it causes tension to reappear.

Meanwhile, in Queens, Peter Parker has two main priorities on his plate — complete his midterm finals, and track down a fishbowl wearing criminal that may or may not lead him right into the hands of the Avengers.

Somehow between all of this, Spider-man's identity is revealed to the Avengers, Steve and Tony's friendship may permanently be damaged due to continued hidden secrets, and Happy struggles to buy a youth-sized casket for Peter's funeral.

Things were a lot easier when they were fighting over Bucky Barnes.

The Third Option by Uncertainty_Principle (200k+)

Ben and May divorced before Peter’s parents died, so when Ben is murdered Peter goes into foster care. It takes just a tiny taste of superpowers for Peter to decide he doesn’t want to put up with his horrible foster father anymore—the streets are infinitely more appealing. All he wants is to be Spider-Man anyway.

So he leaves.

Simple.

Simple, that is, until Iron Man needs Spider-Man’s help. Peter isn’t about to turn down an opportunity to fight alongside Tony Freaking Stark, but he also isn’t going to let his hero know that his recruit is a fifteen-year-old homeless dropout. So they strike a deal. Peter will help Tony. In return, the mask stays on.

And that’s when things get complicated.

ever in your favor by iron_spider (153k+)

Peter startles awake when someone shakes him.

“Sorry, honey,” May says. Peter blinks a couple times and she comes into focus, her hair pulled back from her face. She’s trying not to look a certain way, but he can see it in her eyes anyway. She clears her throat, keeps talking. “But it’s…” She glances away, wets her lips. “You gotta get ready.”

He remembers what day it is, and his heart beats like a drum at someone’s execution. But he tries to put on a mask, make it all seem normal. It’s everything but, despite the fact that he’s been dealing with reaping day since he was born, between himself, Ben and May. That fear that one of them could be taken away. Sent to surefire slaughter. But now Ben is gone, taken despite never having his name drawn from a bowl, and May’s finally safe. Now Peter’s name is in there alone. The last Parker sitting on the chopping block. He doesn’t know how to be. He doesn’t know what normal is, when the Hunger Games are looming on the horizon.

I Never Knew I was Broken by GotMyInkPen (111k+, ongoing)

Peter Parker has been living in HYDRA ever since his parents died at age four. All he can remember are the lesson's HYDRA taught him and a series of words that strike fear into his heart. The only thing driving him forward are the memories of meeting his hero The Winter Soldier when he was seven and the goal to one day be as great an assassin as him.

At age sixteen Peter finds himself tangled in the lives of the Avengers and can't help but wonder if there's more to life than what he's been told.

Tony wants to help him, no matter what.

In the Home by aloneintherain (68k+)

The Avengers have been infected, turned violent and aggressive against their will. And Peter, the only one unaffected, is trapped inside the Tower with six feral teammates.

“Natasha,” Peter says cautiously, “what happened here? Steve attacked me, and if there was ever a sign that something was wrong, it’s having the embodiment of Truth, Justice, and the American Way throw you across the room—”

Natasha comes closer, her stride controlled. Nothing necessarily out of the ordinary, but there’s something in her face, in her eyes—

Natasha lunges across the space, and slams into Peter, hard.

Promotions Aren't Always A Good Thing by Svn_f1ower (67k+)

"When Peter was almost thirteen, May met Carter."

"Not too many months after Carter moved in, May got a promotion at work."

When May gets a new boyfriend, Peter's okay. When Carter moves in, he can deal. When May gets a promotion so she works days and Carter works nights, Peter finds it harder to deal. When Carter starts abusing him, he begins to feel crushed by the weight of it all.

Archetype by Bean_reads_fanfic (57k+)

Tony knows something is up when the research of ex-Hydra agents gets recycled in an underground Oscorp lab… what he doesn’t expect is the boy in a hospital gown sticking to the ceiling; or, how said boy proceeds to imprint on him like a baby duckling (a poor decision on his part, really). Did he mention he wasn’t intending on bringing home a kid that day?

Filling the Gaps by ironfamjam (53k+)

Tony looked at him, bold and true and utterly sincere, “Kid, I’m on your side, no matter what.”

Like most good things, it started with an accident.

Well, kinda.

This is a story about how a snarky, emotionally stunted genius became more than a mentor and how a just-trying-to-figure-it-out, doing his best superkid became the son he never had. No matter how empty our hearts are, love can always fill the gaps.

There’s a hole in my head and my words are falling out by wolfpuppypiles (30k+)

Tony’s stomach clenched into a knot at the sudden cut off of Peters' voice because he hadn’t trailed off, no his word had been strangled before a groan and crash sounded from the other side of the door.

Steve jumped in fright at the crash and Tony’s stomach curled tighter at the heavy thump of something hitting the carpet. Something like Peter.

let’s kick it by CivilBores (28k+)

Tony and Peter’s relationship becomes strained after the events of Infinity War. When a mysterious alien gas infects Peter with a strange disease, they realize they need to pull themselves together or risk losing everything.

For Pete’s Sake! by KitCat992 (26k+)

Maybe he’d feel better if he closed his eyes, just for a second. It was too dark to see anything clearly anyway, and he’d be able to concentrate better without seeing how fast the ground was coming up to meet him.

A rush of wind sent goosebumps across his skin before two strong hands gripped his shoulders tightly, keeping him upright and from nose-diving straight into the alleyway cement.

Peter snapped his eyes open, blinking a couple times to clear his vision. Everything was blurry. Was that…?

“...ice cream man!?”

how can the body die? (you tell me, everything) by madasthesea (8k+)

Tony felt panic creep up his spine. Something was occurring to him, slowly percolating in the back of his mind.

“You said the stinger got you. Is Scorpion’s stinger venomous?”

“I don’t—” Peter cut off as he groaned, the muscles in his jaw tight. “I don’t know. He upgraded—he was faster. Bigger. I—I thought I could beat him.”

beam me up, mr. chewbacca by iron_spider (6k)

“It’s 4:58 in the morning,” Karen says. “Your morning alarm is set to ring at seven. By the time you make it home, you will not have much time to sleep. Less than an hour, and that’s only if you fall asleep immediately.” Peter hums to himself, blinking blearily. “I’ll go to sleep, it’s fine.” “And you have the Macbeth report due tomorrow,” Karen says. “Two thousand words, of which you have written...six.” “Oh shit,” Peter gasps, his heart jumping in his chest. “Okay, I’m not gonna sleep.” “This is the type of event that Mr. Stark has told me to inform him about,” Karen says. “Because he is aware you wouldn’t share this type of thing with him on your own.” “Do not do that,” Peter says, shooting another web and cascading through an alleyway. “For real. For real for real. It’s fine, I got it, he doesn’t need to know, okay? He’s busy, this is—Spidey business, I got this, I’ll tell him when it’s all over. All the details. Cross my heart.”

Poison Apple by whumphoarder (5k)

“I-I think something’s wrong with me.”

Ned gives a short laugh. “Pretty sure we established that when you puked in a corn maze. You’ve got like, food poisoning or something.”

Peter shakes his head. “No, not that.” He takes a few short breaths. “Chest feels weird. Kinda hard to breathe.”

ONE-SHOTS

On sleepless roads the sleepless go by frostysunflowers (10k+)

Peter and sleep have been avoiding each other lately. Enter Tony Stark, the man with many plans.

you heal my like the light of day by searchingforstars (9k)

Peter tries to hide a stab wound and an infection-fuelled fever is never any fun. Also, it turns out that Beck is still lurking in Peter's mind much more than anyone realised.

a numb road forward by WhimsicalEthonographies (5k)

The light is bright, painfully so, but Peter can’t jerk away, he can’t do anything because his body is being crushed by something heavy but not entirely unpleasant.

“Hey, there he is,” Mr. Stark’s face appears in front of him, blocking the white light, thank God, then May’s face is next to his, blurry and hazy but it’s them and that’s nice.

“Hi, baby,” May smiles but she looks sad. So does Mr. Stark.

Cyanide? In My Shawarma? by losingmymindtonight (4k+)

Pepper convinces Tony to bring Peter along on his first dinner with the Rogue Avengers since their pardoning.

Poor Tony had thought the whole thing was a recipe for disaster before someone decided to shove some cyanide in his food.

stop, don’t start by iron_spider (3k)

“Shit shit shit.” Tony severely underestimated this guy, if this is on him, because Tony has a backup plan for every backup plan in his suit, has protocols for every misstep, every frayed wire, every glitch, and yet here he is, someone else’s weapon.

The true horror of it doesn’t set in until Tony sees Spider-Man swing by—Tony raises his own hand, aims and locks on.

“No, no!” Tony yells, panicking. “No!”

He shoots a repulsor blast, and knocks Peter out of the air.

Something the Soul Needs by blondsak (3k)

As he races closer, Tony winces at the knowledge that Peter had to have already hit the pavement-- that he was too late. But when Tony finally gets around the last corner, he sees that no-- Peter didn’t hit the pavement. Instead, the scene that greets him is somehow inconceivably worse.

Rather than landing on the cement - which would have been bad enough - Peter had landed on a fence. An old, rusting, wrought iron spiked fence.

#whump #hurt/comfort #fic rec #spider-man fic rec #spider-man angst #peter parker fic rec #peter parker #tony stark #irondad

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