#*holds a photo of dee to your face* HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MAN??? WELL NOW YOU HAVE. *waves the photo in ur face* NOW YOU HAVE.

[basketobread]

happy birthday to the birthday boy!!!!!!!!!!!!! ^_^ ok now ready your aim we're going to duel to the death @percexe

#yeah im still obsessed with dee LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!! #superior character in all forms #i already sent this to simon but im sharing it idc YOU WILL ALL LOOK AT DEE AND YOU WILL LIKE HIM #*holds a photo of dee to your face* HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MAN??? WELL NOW YOU HAVE. *waves the photo in ur face* NOW YOU HAVE. #dnd #cnd #bob the artist

[amintyworld]

Dark Prince - Switcheroo AU Oneshot

A/N: Hello hello this is your author Minty here! Just wanted to give a quick thanks to @aimasup for letting me use her Switcheroo AU on the Creativtwins for this cheeky lil oneshot. The AU is about if the split occurs, but Roman and Remus were assigned opposite traits to represent - Roman being a dark side and Remus being a light side. This was really fun to write and took a lotta work, so I hope ya’ll enjoy! - Minty

Summary: Roman never wanted to be the villain. 

TW: Abandonment, Child abuse (Kinda, tagging just in case), sexual innuendos, Injury, exclusion, slight insanity, slight repressed homosexuality, cursing, putting life in someone else’s hands (As always, let me know if I need to tag anything else!) 

---------------------------------------

Roman’s first memory was of pain, of needles all over his body, and then… a kick. He remembered making a small whimper as he curled into himself, weak and tired, the kick hurting more than it should’ve.

“Get away, you disgusting pervert! Get away from Creativity!” Someone yelled sharply, and Roman slowly opened his eyes, wondering what he could’ve done and where he even was. He was in a room, a room filled with stuffed animals and children’s drawings and… a man. He was wearing a cardigan with a grey sweatshirt wrapped around his shoulders, kneeling to help up someone else… someone who looked like him. “Creativity, are you alright? Oh, you poor thing, don’t worry, we finally got rid of it…”

Creativity? Wasn’t… wasn’t he…?

The kid shook a bit, weak like him, looking to the man in wonder and curiosity. “Creativity.” He said, repeating the word as if to understand it. “I’m… I’m Creativity.” Creativity tried to stand, nearly falling before the man caught him. 

“Careful.” The man warned. “You might be a bit weak, that was a little intense. Here, let me help.” The man slowly picked up Creativity in his arms, then his gaze fell upon Roman, turning into one of disgust, making Roman’s heart begin to break. What… what did he do?

Creativity followed the man’s gaze. “Hey, who’s that?”

“Someone bad we don’t need anymore. Come on, Creativity.” They left, and Roman tried to move to get up, to follow them and maybe try to understand, he didn’t understand...

The next thing he remembered was gloved arms wrapped around him, lifting him up, and he looked up to see a man with half his face covered in green-tinted scales and a yellow snake eye that made his body tense. The man looked down at him warmly, sensing his fear. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to hurt you.” Roman looked at the man, and his eyebrows furrowed. 

“Why?”

-------------------------------------------

Roman liked Janus a lot, he was one of the few people who’ve ever really shown him kindness, plus he smelled like vanilla. Despite his off-putting scales when they first met, Roman had really warmed up to the other side. Janus was funny and a really good cook - leading to Roman’s obsession with Peanut Butter, even to the point the poor parental side had to hide it constantly or else all three jars would be gone by the end of the day. 

As their bond grew, so did Roman - he learned all about the others, ‘the light sides’ as Janus called them, and even the foretold Thomas. “Do you think I could meet him one day? Meet Thomas?”

“Uh…” Janus looked uncomfortable by the question, struggling to find the words to speak. 

“I’m sure if I explain everything to him, maybe he can clear things up with Patton, maybe we could all get along and be happy again!” Roman smiled, jumping a bit on the ripped up couch. 

“Roman…” Janus said, taking a breath. “It’s not that simple… Thomas… he…he doesn’t like us.”

“Why? You’re really nice, and… and-”

“He doesn’t like us because he doesn’t like what we represent.” Janus said, comfortingly rubbing circles on the back of the child’s hand. “Until he likes us, it’s no use trying to talk to him. That’s why I… well, why I’ve kept us hidden from him, why he doesn’t know about you… if he did, he could summon you and mock you and hurt you-”

“Will he ever like us again, Dee?” Roman looked up to Janus with sad eyes, the same sad eyes the deceitful side saw the day of the split. The eyes that made him help the kid so long ago, to endure the risk of insult and injury, to protect him. Janus met those eyes, and for once he didn’t have the heart to say the harsh truth. 

“Maybe, Ro.” Janus gave the kid a comforting smile. “Maybe someday.”

That’s how it was for a while - Janus and Roman against a world who hated them. Their own little family of acceptance and love. Janus would play with Roman, sing songs and teach him the right way to hiss. Roman would comfort Janus when he’d return after being summoned by the Light Sides, and bring him into the Imagination for adventures, and work on training with his new abilities as they presented themselves to him. 

It was one of those days in the Darkscape, Roman now fourteen, when the two were watching a movie that the most unusual thing happened. With a slow rise up in the living room stood Logan - tie messed up, bags under his eyes, holding a tiny seven year old in his arms. The child in question was wearing a large black hoodie, hood up and head buried into Logan’s chest, crying. 

The two on the couch stood up quickly. Looking over toward Logan, who was looking around the place blankly. Roman was about to give him a piece of his mind for entering unannounced, bothering them, but Dee held up his arm to block him. “Don’t. It’s not worth it.” He said harshly under his breath. He looked over toward the intruder. “What brings you to our neck of the woods, Logic? I thought your kind made it crystal clear we weren’t welcome.”

“I am… sorry to enter unannounced, Deceit. I do believe this is one of yours.” Logan said, adjusting his glasses with one hand and walking over, the other arm supporting the child. Moving his arm, the child looked over to the two others, his lip trembling and tears in his eyes. Janus’s heart broke at the sight as he moved closer. “What’s his-?”

“Anxiety. His name is Anxiety.” Logan said. He slowly began to hand the child over as he calmed to sniffles, only for the action to make the child in question burst out crying once more. Janus slowly moved and held Anxiety as he made grabby hands to Logan. 

“Pwease, I’ll be good! I’ll be good, don’t leave me!” Anxiety cried, and Janus held him close, shushing him and trying to soothe his tears, looking up to stare daggers at Logan. 

“Is that all? Or is there another helpless child that ‘moral compass’ of yours wants to abandon?” Janus spat.

“Deceit, you know as well as I do that this is the best thing in the end for Thomas.” Logan said, rubbing his forehead. “It’s dangerous for Thomas for all of you to be out, he’s not ready-”

“A seven-year-old child is dangerous for Thomas?!” Janus said, looking angrier and angrier by the second. “For Logic, you don’t seem to be making any sense.”

“Janus-”

Janus jabbed his finger at Logan’s chest. “Now get out of my face and my home before things get so messy even your faulty ‘logic’ can’t fix them.” Janus’s voice was full of pure rage, and Logan’s blank face broke into more of… pity.

“I am sorry, Janus.” Logan simply said before sinking out, leaving the three of them alone. 

Janus’s anger dissapated quickly as he rubbed Anxiety’s back, heading to sit back on the couch. “Shh, shh, it’s okay…” Roman just stared at Janus in shock of the altercation between the two, he’d never ever seen Janus talk like that to anyone before. Janus looked up at him. “What?”

“I-”

“Please… p-please don’t h-hurt me-!” Anxiety shook, looking up at Janus, then to Roman. Janus gave them a sad look, realizing what Patton probably told this poor kid-

Roman slowly reached out to him, smiling. Virgil’s reddened eyes met his as he looked up, moving toward Roman as Roman cupped his cheek softly. “I promise, no one’s gonna hurt you, okay?”

For a moment, silence fills the room as the child hesitates before his shaking small voice answered Roman. “P-promise?” Anxiety said, holding up his pinkie. Roman pinkie promised him, smiling warmly. 

“I promise.”

-----------------------------------------------------

Roman yawned as he slowly made his way down to the kitchen, smiling as Virgil walked past him, eyes glued to his phone. “You know, you’d think with those dark circles under your eyes, you’d be the one yawning.”

Virgil gives a slight smirk at the playful remark. “Fuck off, playboy.”

“Well… I mean you’re not wrong there-” Roman shrugs, mischievously grinning. “I do like playing with a boy or two!” Roman finished with a wink at his brother.

Virgil nearly snorted at the retort, hiding his smile underneath his phone. “God, you’re disgusting-!”

“Right back at you, My Chemical Ro-Mess.”

The two sat down at the dusty dining room table as Janus walked out wearing a scaled apron with the words ‘Snake me’ written in flowy black cursive, carrying two plates of eggs and toast. He set them down in front of the two sides, turning to head back into the kitchen, ruffling Virgil’s hair as he went. “Cream and sugar for both of you, right?”

“Yep.” Virgil said, popping the ‘p’ slightly at the end. 

“Yeppers, Jan-Jan!” Roman answered before taking out his own phone to scroll through some… “tasteful'' photos. He liked thinking of their strong hands running down his chest or through his hair…

Janus came back out with the coffee as he sat down to eat, dealing out the drinks. The little family ate in a comfortable silence as they always did every morning, Janus only breaking it for a second to check their plans for the day as he spread a bit of Crofters on a piece of toast. Virgil answered first, putting down his phone for a minute. “Besides work and stuff, I was thinking about maybe putting up some new posters in my room, I’ve been getting into Evenasence.”

“Do you need any help, shadowling? I know the ladder’s not completely stable…” Janus asked.

“Shortie-” Remus smirked as Virgil just rolled his eyes at his older brother. 

“Nah, I’ll be fine, I usually give it extra support even when it wasn’t so loose.”

“If you’re sure… Roman?”

“Just gonna hang in the Imagination.”

“You hang out there a lot lately…” Janus remarked smoothly between bites. “Something you’re not telling me?”

“No, no! Dee, I’d never-” Roman sputtered, but Janus just raised his eyebrow.

“Roman, I’m the Lord of Lies. You can’t seriously think I won’t be able to spot one from a mile away?”

“It’s nothing serious, really. Just… uh… I made a friend?” Roman admitted with a sheepish grin.

“Friend…?” Janus asked.

“Uh… yeah! Katy, one of the townspeople in the kingdom, we hang out all the time-” Roman said, beginning to get up quickly. “Anyway, she’s probably waiting for me, I should go.” Roman chugged the rest of his coffee and quickly walked off. “See you guys at six!”

Janus’s eyes narrowed. That boy is hiding something, something big. Virgil just looked at the hallway entrance, where he disappeared to. “That was… weird.”

“You said it.”

“Think he’s gonna do something stupid?” Virgil asked, concerned. 

“I dunno.” Janus answered. “Just… check on him when you get the chance for me, okay? I know he likes handling things by himself, but the Imagination’s not completely his domain. If the light sides find him… I’m afraid things could turn ugly.”

“You got it, Chief.” Virgil said, worries already building up in his mind about what his brother could possibly be doing.

----------------------------------------------------------

Roman sighed. That was a close one. 

It’s not like he didn’t want to tell them, it’s just… he didn’t think they’d really understand. Roman let out a small sigh before grabbing his bag and sword, and heading through the door to the Imagination. He began the walk as he did every day along the path, smiling at the winged rabbits and the frogs who croaked glitter - some of his best ideas, he’d say. 

As the animals became quieter and quieter, he couldn’t help but feel guilt at the edges of his stomach for making Janus worry. He knew that lying as necessary, to make sure they’d never get found out, but if it doesn’t make his stomach churn sometimes. Maybe, when he got back, if he could convince him, he’d finally be able to tell Janius. Maybe it was silly to hide it from him, maybe he’d really, truly understand.

“Hey, Roman! Up here!” His twin looked down at him from the treehouse, smiling and waving in his green and white uniform. He waved, returning the smile as he sat on the ladder, pulling the rope as he ascended, entering their little hideout. As soon as he put the basket down, he was bulldozed to the ground with a giant hug, making him laugh. 

“Remus, come on! It hasn’t been that long-”

“Two weeks is like… forever in brother years.” Remus responded, tightening the hug for a moment as Roman returned it. 

“Yeah, I’ve missed you too, Rem.”

The two sat down on the picnic blanket, relaxing as the cool wind blew through their small shelter, snacking on Crofters and bread, as well as a few sodas and candies Remus smuggled from the Mindscape kitchen. Roman played a bit with the crisp autumn leaves that blew inside, practicing lifting them up and folding them into shapes.

“Ro, do you ever wonder what it was like… before?” Remus asked, drawing Roman’s attention away from the star he was folding. 

“Before? Before what?”

“Before. When we were together.” Remus said, chewing on the jam-stained bread thoughtfully. 

“Oh.” Roman said. “I’ve never really thought about it, I guess.”

“We had the whole Imagination just to us, no hiding or running away. No one telling us who we were.” Remus said. “I just think about it sometimes. Daydream, really - what they had looked like, what they did, how everyone used to be. I’d ask more about it, but Patton…” Remus' face fell. 

“Hey, we don’t need him.” Roman said, placing a comforting hand on Remus’s shoulder. “We’ll figure it out together.”

Remus smiled. “Thanks, Ro Bro.”

“Oh, I meant to ask,” Roman said. “I just barely got away to get here, Janus was onto me. I was… thinking, since he’s been so open and honest about everything to me-”

“No.” Remus said sternly. “Roman, we can’t. No one can know about this.” His face was a mixture of anger and fear. “Do you know what they’d do?! Roman, they don’t want us to be together, they don’t want us to get along or be happy!”

“But… but Janus isn’t- he’s not one of them!” Roman insisted, getting angry. “If I recall, your little Patton threw us out! Janus… Janus hasn’t done anything except be there for me and Virgil, he wants to protect us!”

“Roman, no.” Remus said. “That’s what he told you.” Roman’s fists clenched in anger, looking toward the ground. Janus wouldn’t lie to him, he wouldn’t-! “Don’t you ever think it’s weird how Dark and Light sides were already made up? How Janus and Patton were both ready to just... take us away?” Janus wouldn’t… he wouldn’t, he promised! “This whole thing was a setup to change who we once were, don’t you see? Patton, Janus, and Logan… they all made us split!”

“That’s not true!” Roman yelled. “Janus told me he’d never lie, he told me it was the truth!”

Remus’s face turned dark. “Roman, he’s the Lord of Lies, don’t you get it?! He was a liar from the very beginning-!”

Then, suddenly, Remus was on the ground, holding his jaw and looking up at his twin with shock. Roman looked down, his hand pumping with adrenaline from the punch. It was only a moment, but Roman could see the pain on his brother’s face, and his anger quickly disappeared. “Remus, I’m-”

“Remus…?” Roman’s heart dropped at the voice. Patton. Suddenly, a whip wrapped around Roman’s arms as he was pulled to the floor, volt shocking through his body, making his breaths slow and body cower. “Remus, are you okay?!” He could only hear footsteps behind him as he struggled to sit up, getting zapped every time he shifted. So his intended ‘he’s fine’ could barely be heard.

“He’s...ugh-!”

“I’m fine, Dad.” Remus said, looking down at Roman, worried. 

“Oh Remus I was so scared this morning when I woke up and you weren’t there and things had been stolen, I just knew you were kidnapped by Janus, but… it seems his little protege had other plans.” Patton rambled, looking over Remus for any bruises or injuries like a worried mother. “It’s okay now, you’re finally safe.”

“Dad, please let him go, I wasn’t kidnapped.” Remus said, pulling away from the cardigan wearing side. “He’s done nothing wrong, you’re hurting him!” Remus rushed past Patton to Roman, seeing drops of blood slowly coat his skin as his breathing began to slowly decline. He grabbed his pocket knife and cut the whip, releasing him as he simply slumped to the ground. “Roman, oh my god-!”

Patton simply watched with odd curiosity. Remus helped him sit up a bit, having his weak body lean on him. Roman let out a small coughing fit. “Remus, n-no…” They’d held the secret for so long, they coudln’t give in now!

Remus turned to Patton. “Dad come on, we have to help him!”

Patton slowly walked over, cupping Remus’s cheek. “Oh Remus, what did he do to you?”

“What…?”

“I knew they were bad, but I never throught they’d stoop so low.” Patton said. “Brainwashing a child…” Patton held Remus’s hands as they stood up, Roman on the floor. “Remus, they’re not good - Deception, Lust, Anxiety - they twist and manipulate your mind, that’s why I sent them away, to protect us.” Patton softly tucked Remus’s hair behind his ear. “I failed. I’m... sorry.”

Remus just looked toward the floor, taking a quick glance at his brother, his mind full of thoughts. “Dad, I…”

“I… I don’t know what they told you, and I don’t know if you’d believe me, but I promise you they’re nothing but a family of lying rats.”

“But… but Roman-”

“He doesn’t care about you, and it’s hard to say if he ever has.” Patton said. “Remus, there’s a reason the split occurred. You were being insane, lying and cheating, it wasn’t you. I had to save the real you from him.”

“Save me-?!”

Remus looked over at Roman and the two just looked at each other for a brief moment. “R-remus, I swear... I’d never-”

“Roman, what’s going on here?!” Virgil barked, his weapon Roman had created for him in his hands - a shimmering back bow and silver feathered arrows. Roman struggled to get up against the wall as Virgil entered, notching his arrow quickly and aiming at Patton. “What did you do-?!” He growled. “Where is he?!”

Patton slowly raised his arms. “Don’t shoot, though I’d think your kind wouldn’t hesitate to let a few fly against me, hm?”

“If you so much as hurt a hair on his head, I swear-”

“You’ll what? Kill me?” Patton slowly approached, the arrow pushed slightly against his forehead. “I wouldn’t be surprised, Anxiety. Or should I say Paranoia?”

“Stop avoiding the question and-!”

“V-virgil…” Roman managed weakly, falling to the floor as he took a step, making Virgil turn and rush toward him, taking off his dark sweatshirt and trying to help the bleeding from the electritcity, trying to find some way to help him. 

“S-shit-!” Virgil cursed under his breath. “Roman, hold on-”

Patton just looked over at them with anger. “They’ll never change, Remus. It’s in their blood - torturing the innocent with their thoughts and lies and fear. Twsiting reality for their own benefit. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, a part of me thought if I didn’t... I’d protect you.” Patton sighed, turning to Remus with a sad smile. “Let's just go home.” Patton walked past the two dark sides on the floor, and yet Remus stayed frozen. “Come on, Remus. Let’s go.”

Remus slowly approached Virgil and Roman as they slowly got up, Roman leaning on Virgil slightly for support, both just looking at Remus. “Remus, I-”

“Save it.” He growled. “So, this is really it, huh? I was dreaming of such a happy past to be found, for both of us.”

“Remus…”

“But it seems I was nothing but an idiot to believe you, to believe that you were innocent.” His stared turned cold. “All this time, everything we’ve done, everything we’ve been through-”

“Remus, you can’t honestly believe-?!”

“You’re the reason we split, aren’t you?!” Remus snapped. “You’re the reason there’s light and dark sides-” Remus’s voice slowly began to rise with his growing anger, tears going down his face. “You’re the one who brainwashed me into thinking you actually cared!”

“Remus, please…” Roman begged, tears forming in his own eyes as he could feel his heart break into a million pieces at his brother’s words. It can’t be true, it just can’t, he couldn’t have-! Roman grabbed Remus’s wrist as he turned away, prompting Remus to push him to the ground. 

“Get away from me, Lust.” Remus practically spat, disgusted.

With that, they left, leaving Roman alone on the floor, crying. Remus actually left him. He believed Patton over him, he hated him, he abandoned him, he didn’t even... love him anymore. Virgil sat next to him, pulling him close and comforting his big brother as he cried, remembering his own day of abandonment and letting a few tears shed down his cheeks. “You don’t need him anymore, Roman. We don’t need any of those assholes, okay? They’re all the same - stuck up pricks.” Virgil spat with venom. “Fuck him.”

-----------------------------------------------------------

Soon enough, Thomas had grown into an adult, and Janus’s concealment of them was getting weaker by the day. Roman and Virgil were scared - they just wanted to do their jobs in peace, and not have to face the constant fear and harassment that loomed over them all their lives. Janus tried to comfort them, but even he was nervous.

One day, they couldn’t find Virgil. Janus and Roman tore through the entire Darkscape and Imagination looking for him, scared of what they might have done to him. Janus had ended his frantic search on the floor, bawling and shaking like a leaf as Roman tried his best to comfort him. “Don’t worry, Jan. Virgil will come back, okay? Virgil’s gonna be alright.”

Janus could do nothing but weep, sniffling. His mouth opened to say something and yet nothing ever came out. His heart felt hollow, and his mind was filled with worry for his family, his son.

Virgil eventually came back later that night, a little stand-offish at first than normal. When he saw Roman and Janus, however, he rushed to their side and apologized, hugging all of them tightly. Finally, Janus found the words as he hugged Virgil tightly, afraid if he let him go he’d lose him again. “Don’t ever leave me again, okay?!”

“O-okay…” Virgil said as he hugged him back, his eyes full of a few tears themselves. “I… I promise.”

They decided that they needed to be on guard, Thomas could summon any one of them now. Their new plan was to try to stand up against the light sides and Thomas, and to stand by each other through thick and thin. So it was - Virgil would get summoned when Thomas needed him and return, telling them all what occurred. 

It was around dinnertime on a crisp autumn night when Virgil didn’t return. Worried, they waited as long as they could, the night getting later and later, eventually eating without him, thinking maybe Thomas had a rough night. Virgil showed up not too long after Janus began doing the dishes, looking pensive. “Virgil, thank god you’re okay, we were worried-” Roman said, walking up to give him a hug. Virgil held up his hands to stop him. 

“No Roman, I… I need to think.” Virgil said, something in his voice Roman couldn’t place. 

“But… but you missed dinner, and-” Roman said, but his protests were in vain as Virgil awkwardly held his arm. 

“Yeah, I know. I’m… I’m not that hungry. I don’t mean to worry you both, sorry I’m late.”

“It’s fine, Vee.” Janus smiled. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”

Virgil smiled back. “If...If you need me, I’ll be upstairs, okay?”

“O-okay.” Roman said, a small comforting smile on his face hiding his confusion. 

----------------------------------------------------

Roman was alone. 

He knew he was right about them, about the light sides, and yet… yet more and more his family believed them, and… and they left. Virgil changed and moved in with them in a heartbeat after they’d saved him - he wouldn’t even need to be saved if it wasn’t for them in the first place - Vee said they changed. They were more open, accepting, that they loved him. 

All Roman could see was fake lies. 

When he called it out, Virgil left with an angry rip of his old sweatshirt, leaving Roman wondering what he did, what they did to him. Janus followed suit soon after, claiming that Virgil was really right. Did everyone forget what they did?! Did everyone forgive them so damn quickly for YEARS of torment, of abandoment?! It wasn’t.. It wasn’t fair! 

Roman was alone. He was sad, upset, angry...crazy? But finally, after all this time, sane. 

He finally knew what they wanted - a villain. Someone to point at and laugh at and crtisize and hurt. Roman couldn’t help but laugh, oh how it all made so much sense! They wanted someone to blame for everything, and still they’re blaming him. Roman’s tears dried as his chuckle echoed throughout the Darkscape. 

Well, if they wanted a villain, they’d get one. 

Roman snatched up Janus and threw him in the cell, his back making a satisfying crack as it hit the iron bars at the other end, leaving the scaled side to fall into a heap on the floor, letting out a soft groan. Virgil rushed over to help him, shaking like a leaf. “Janus-”

Janus coughed as he sat up again, struggling to get the air that was knocked out of his lungs back. “Roman, let us go! This isn’t funny anymore, let us out right now!”

“The pathetic thing is that you still think it’s a joke, Deceit.” Roman laughed, walking over toward the mirror to put on his crown. His hair was tidy and a crisp black prince outfit stood in place of his normal clothes as he fiddled with the collar, admiring his reflection. “I’m afraid your presence here is, well, essential to my plan.”

“P-plan…?” Janus questioned. “Roman whatever you’re going through we can figure it out together, okay? We’re a family-”

“Don’t you DARE utter that word again, you lying snake-!” Roman snapped, looking toward him with a cold sharp stare. “You choose those...those bastards over your own family, you left me for them.” His fists clenched as he hit the bars hard, making Janus jump and Virgil to cling to his side closer. “You don’t GET to be my family anymore.”

“Roman…” Roman could hear the emotion forming in Janus’s voice as he turned away to look out the window for a second before grabbing his sword to sharpen. “Roman, why…?”

“Why?!” Roman pointed his sword at Janus accusingly. “You both abandoned me and left me alone for people who hurt us, who kicked us toi the curb when things got tough.” He steadied himself, slowly calming his demeanor. “But, I guess i really should thank you both. Without you two, I’d have never realized my true role in all of this.”

“Role?”

“Oh, haven’t you heard, Jan?” Roman smiled slyly. “It seems as if I’m cast as the villain right now, what a shame. Would’ve really rathered playing the hero, but I guess you take what you can get these days, hm?”

“Roman.” Someone growled. Roman heard a voice from behind him, and just from the tone he already knew who it was. He wasn’t scared. He was playing his part beautifully, as he was always meant to be. He turned just as Remus struck with his morning star, weapons clashing. Remus looked extremely angry, and Roman couldn’t help but smile. 

“Wondered when you’d show up.”

“Let them go, Roman.” Remus growled, looking ready to pounce. Roman just let out a soft chuckle, turning into a giggle, soon his crazed laughter filled the room, making Remus hesitate in shock and confusion. “R-ro…?”

“Oh, what a hero! Man, we should have been playing this way from the start, this is so much better!” Roman laughed. “Would’ve done without ripping out my heart and feeding it to me, though. Notes for next time, ey?”

“Next...time?”

“Yeah, maybe not draw it out too much. Really make my life hell near the beginning and save us all some trouble, yeah?” Roman smiled, clashing swords with his brother. 

“This isn’t some game, Roman!” Remus shouted. “Release them right now, or…”

“Or you’ll what? Finish me off? Would be a bit of a gruesome scene for the kiddies, no?” Roman asked casually. “A bit dark for the hero, isn’t it?”

“H-hero…? But.. but I-”

“Well, please Remus, there’s no need to insist here, if you really like that ending, who am I to stop the famous hero’s wishes?” Roman calmly smiled as he dropped to his knees, dropping his weapon and kneeling his head. “Uh, maybe make it a bit quick, if you will? It’s my first time with a beheading before.”

“Roman...I…” Remus looked down to his twin, head bowed, and then to his morning star. “Roman, stop it! This isn’t right-!”

“Right? Hm, where have I heard that one before?!” Roman yelled, snapping to his feet to grab Remus’s neck and slam it into a nearby wall. “Guess you were smarter than you knew back then, huh? The bad of what we used to be…” Roman gestured to himself with a snicker. “It’s all right here, baby.” With a bit of creative magic he’d chained Remus by the neck, laughing as he snatched Remus’s glistening silver and green crown as he slowly lowered it over his head, turning pitch black. “Finally, after all these years, I get to take something from you, brother.”

As he marched toward the balcony, his shadow crossing over the iron cage as the two former dark sides huddled together in comfort and protection. He walked out as the sun slowly began to rise over Remus’s… no, HIS kingdom. He smiled as he watched his subjects come out of their houses, as he sat on the railing, legs crossed.

“People of Creativia, there’s been a slight change in management as of late-” He began. “As of now, I, Roman, am your new ruler and crowned Prince, and I hereby demote the status of your former ruler Remus to outlaw.” He heard murmurs from below. “Now, with that out of the way, let a new era of fear and evil plague this once happy town.”

“Welcome, everyone, and meet your Dark Prince.”

#dark roman sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #creativity sanders #anxiety sanders #janus sanders #deceit sanders #remus sanders #patton sanders #morality sanders #logic sanders #logan sanders #familial creativtwins #familial dark sides #sanders sides #sander sides #sanders sides fic #my writing

[crystalninjaphoenix]

MerMay 2021 Day Nine Swim Along the Pier

The water beneath piers—any piers or boardwalks or anything like them, anywhere in the world—was not exactly crystal clear. It was often muddied by sand clouds, kicked up by the currents caused by boats, and there was rarely any fish. But things became a little more still the later the night went, as people went home and the boats became lifeless. It never became perfectly clear, but it got a little more peaceful.

Jackie stuck his head out of the water, right in between a pair of boats. “Kind of empty without all the humans, huh? Usually there are still a few out.”

Chase peeked out as well. “Yeah, it’s winter. Not a lot of humans visit the shore when it gets colder, unless they already live close by.”

“Winter,” Jackie repeated, trying out the word. “That’s a season?”

“Yeah. They have four of them.”

“What? Why do you need four? You have warm and cool, and that’s really it.”

“It’s different on land. I think their seasons are more divided by how the plants look than the actual temperature. Even though there are some places where it’s pretty much the same everywhere.” Chase shrugged. “Well, it’s easier for everyone to have the same time system, I guess.”

“You think we should coordinate with them?” Jackie asked. “Line up our years and seasons?”

“Nah, that’s overkill.”

The two merms swam along the boardwalk, eyes scanning the wooden surface. Most of the nearby buildings were dark, shut down for the night, leaving lamps and the moon above as the only source of illumination. Occasionally there was a human, either alone or in a pair, and the merms would slow down, making sure not to be seen. Once they reached a stretch that was entirely empty, Chase grabbed the edge of the pier and lifted himself out of the water, sitting on the edge of the wooden planks.

“Dude, you’re going to dry out, it’s windy,” Jackie said.

“Oh yeah, I’ll dry out by staying in the air for a few minutes.” Chase splashed Jackie with his tail, the water going directly into Jackie’s face.

“Ah!” Jackie backed up a bit. “Alright, take that!” He splashed Chase back, who just laughed as the water hit his tail. “Agh, you’re too high sitting up there,” Jackie grumbled. “And, well, I know it’s empty, but be careful anyway.”

“Don’t worry, I’m keeping a lookout,” Chase assured him. “Well. What’s new with you?”

“Not much. I checked on Sam earlier today, she’s doing fine. A bit sad, I think, being alone for the past few months. But she’s. You know. Alive. More than you can say for some other fish.”

“She’s tough. I think she has some sort of bond with Jack, y’know, since she’s been around for so long. Ages slower than other discuses.”

Jackie nodded. “Yeah, probably. How are the kids and your partner?”

Chase’s expression lit up. “They’re great! They keep showing me new human movies they like, and they keep insisting on exploring the ocean area. Stacy’s good, too. She wants to rent some scuba gear so she can come swimming with us. Oh, and remember, the human word for partner is ‘girlfriend.’”

“Oh yeah. That. ‘Girlfriend’ and uh...‘man-friend.’”

“Boyfriend. Unless you’re married, then it’s wife and husband.”

Jackie rolled his eyes. “That’s stupid. So many different words. And yet, they don’t have one for ‘life friend.’”

“Well, at least, that human language doesn’t. There might be others that—”

“Oh wait!” Jackie perked up. “I just remembered, you don’t know!” He grabbed the edge of the pier and half-lifted himself out, getting close to Chase’s face. “Guess what? Marvin and Jameson are going to be life friends!”

“Whoa, wait, really?! That’s so cool!” Chase said excitedly. “Y’know they always were really close. We should have seen that coming.”

“We should have! Schneep told me that—”

There was a sudden bright flash of light. Both merms immediately froze. Chase paled. “Oh no.”

“Was that—was that one of those camera things?” Jackie asked. “Shit! I knew we should’ve been careful!”

“I think it came from that boat!” Chase pointed to a white boat some ways away, a few empty spaces between it and the merms. He dove back into the water. Meanwhile, Jackie was already on the move, swimming much faster than Chase could, heading straight for the boat.

The boat was a bit too high for them to reach the deck from the water, but it didn’t stop Jackie from trying. He lunged forward, claws scrabbling on the metal side, and hissed slightly. Chase soon caught up, staying some ways away to try and catch a glimpse of the deck. “There’s one human up there,” he said.

“Good, there’s more of us,” Jackie added. “Hey! Stupid human! I’m gonna find that camera thing!”

“You don’t know what it looks like, Jackie.”

“Chase is gonna find that camera thing! And we’re gonna get rid of it!”

After a few seconds, a human peered over the side of the boat, leaning over the railing, holding some sort of long pole in raised hands as if preparing to knock something away. “Oh, holy shit, it is you,” he said.

Jackie stopped. “Wait, why’d he say it like that? Do we know him?”

Chase squinted. “He does look a bit familiar. You don’t recognize him?”

“I’m not good with human faces.”

“Oh, wow, dude.”

“Well, I’m not good with faces in general!” Jackie snapped. “And humans don’t have tail patterns or anything else that could help!”

Chase stared at the human, who’d put down the pole. “Actually, you remember that human who spotted us a few months ago? With the ice cream?”

“Oh yeah. Is it him? Uh...Ah-lee, or something like that?”

“Oh hey, did you just say my name?” The human looked excited about that. “Do you remember me? I’m Ollie.”

“Yeah, it is him!” Chase said. “Okay, he’s cool.”

“But he just took our photo!” Jackie reminded him. “Who knows what he’ll do with that?”

“I guess you guys are upset ‘cause of the picture, huh? Hang on.” Ollie reached into his pocket and pulled out a small device, tapping on it for a bit before showing the other side to the merms. “This?”

“Whoa! That’s us!” Jackie gasped.

Chase swam closer to get a better look. “Yeah, see? I told you photos were really accurate.” He looked up at Ollie and nodded.

“Well, uh. Sorry.” Ollie looked strangely embarrassed. “I just wanted to confirm you were there. After I saw you, back at the start of summer, I kind of wondered if it was real. But you guys are here again. I guess you just like to hang out here.”

“Wow, do we really come here that often?” Jackie mumbled. “Enough to see the same human twice?”

“I think he lives nearby,” Chase said. He swam even closer to the boat and raised himself partially out of the water. “Can you get rid of the pictures? Oh wait, he can’t understand merm, uh...” He cleared his throat. “‘No picture?’”

“Wait, you know English?” Ollie gasped. “Well, I guess you can understand me.” After a moment, he nodded. “Alright, no pictures, I get it. Here, I’ll delete it.” He tapped the screen of the device a couple times, and the photo disappeared. “There. It’s gone.”

“‘Dee-leet,’” Jackie copied. “I like that one. It’s easy. ‘Dee-leet. Deee-leeeeeet.’”

Chase laughed. “You still need to work on it, dude.”

“Well, you can teach me whenever. Hey, why don’t you speak human to Ah-lee here? You’re fluent!”

“Uh...” Chase swished his tail, looking embarrassed. “No. It’d be weird if I started now. Being all...perfect human language.”

“You just said that thing about the photo! ‘Nnoh ichurr.’”

“‘Picture. Picture. Puh. Puh.’ You have to spit out the air.”

Jackie paused. “‘Bichurr.’”

“Wow,” Ollie muttered. The two merms looked back up at him. “Oh, uh, don’t mind me. I just think it’s interesting. I guess only one of you is good at English?” He laughed nervously. “A-anyway, are we chill? I-I don’t want to upset you guys.”

Chase and Jackie looked at each other, and then back at Oliver. They nodded in unison. “‘Yes,’” Chase added.

“‘Chill,’” Jackie said. “‘Chill. Chiiiihlluh.’”

Ollie laughed again, less nervously this time. “Right. Anyway, you’re alright with me. I won’t tell anyone.”

Chase gave Ollie a thumbs-up. Then he and Jackie disappeared underwater. “See? He’s a good one,” Chase said.

“Yeah, pretty friendly,” Jackie agreed. “Buuuut we should leave now. Just in case other humans are around, and not as friendly.”

“Great idea.”

They swam back out into the open ocean, still a bit on edge.

#jacksepticeye #jacksepticegos #jacksepticeye fanfiction #jacksepticeye au #septic egos #septic egos au #chase brody #jackieboy man #brigid writes fanfiction #mermay snippets

[despairdiseases]

When you walk away (Nothing more to say)

chapter 6 - literally just a bleaching hair tutorial

trigger warnings: sympathetic Remus and Deceit, a spider, hair bleaching, swearing, implied bad childhood? (let me know if I missed something)

summary: Virgil helps Remus finally do something with that bird's nest he calls hair and oops angst happens

A few sharp knocks sounded the window. Virgil looked up from his laptop, widening his eyes at the figure behind the glass, which waved him. Virgil rolled his eyes and took off his headphone, walking over to the window and opening it, letting Remus in.

'Why didn't you just walk through the front door?', Virgil questioned.

"Eh, this is more fun," Remus shrugged, looking around the room. He stopped and squealed when he saw the terrarium where Susan was, making a web. He went closer to the terrarium, cooing at the tarantula. Virgil raised an eyebrow, smiling softly. Remus turned his head to look at him, "Sorry not sorry, Susie is just too cute to resist."

Virgil opened his mouth to question the nickname but found himself unable to speak. Oh, of course, how could he forget. He looked away from a second before shaking it off, signing to Remus, 'True'. He crossed his arms and walked closer to Remus.

Remus straightened himself, "So, why am I here again? You wanna hook up or somethin'?"

The taller rolled his eyes, suppressing a smile. He walked over to a table where his computer was, along with other things such as empty glasses or crumbled paper. Virgil picked up a box of powdered hair bleach and waved it at Remus.

Remus widened his eyes a little, but the expression soon changed into an intrigued one, "Oh? What are you gonna do? Bleach my pubes?"

Virgil tried so hard to not throw the box at him, he really did. But he didn't entirely trust himself so instead, he put it down, he needed those hands to sign anyways, 'You always complain about wanting to dye your hair'.

"And you know how to do it?"

Virgil gestured to his black hair with purple in it.

"Touché. So are we gonna do it now, or?" Remus smirked slightly as Virgil nodded, picking up the box and walking out of his room. Remus waited for him for a few seconds, before Virgil stuck his head back into the room and gestured for him to follow. Virgil led him into a bathroom with a big mirror above the sink. There was a chair placed in front of it, which Virgil led him to sit on. He watched as Virgil placed the bleach on the edge of the sink and went to grab some other things from the cabinet next to the door. On the sink, he placed a "developer" from what Remus read on the label, whatever-the-hell that was, a mixing bowl and a mixing brush. He gestured for Remus to stay as he went out of the bathroom, presumingly to find other things he needed, and who was Remus to argue, he never bleached his hair before.

It wasn't long before Virgil returned, this time with rubber gloves on and carrying a measuring spoon and tin foil, setting the foil down. He opened the bleach and scooped a spoonful of it, pouring it into the mixing bowl. He set the spoon down and poured the developer into the bowl, mixing it together with a mixing brush. Remus watched all of it in the mirror, "You, uh, you sure you know what you're doing?" Virgil made eye contact with him through the mirror. He smiled at Remus, nodding. Remus nodded back, feeling more sure, "Okay."

Virgil put the mixing bowl down to sign, 'Where do you want to bleach it?

"Uh, I dunno..." he touched the tips of his hair softly, thinking, "Maybe my tips?"

'Are you sure?'

Remus nodded, "Yes I'm fucking sure. Aren't you the one who came up with this in the first place?"

Virgil rolled his eyes and walked in front of Remus, taking the brush and dipping it in the bowl. He took the tin foil and ripped a piece off. He took Remus' hand, at which the man in question flinched, and guided it to hold a chunk of his hair mashed into a bun on top of his head. Remus felt strangely sad when Virgil took his hand off of his, taking a chunk of the hair on his back and laying it against a piece of tin foil. He began adding the bleach onto the tips, bleaching roughly four or five inches but focusing mainly on the bottom. Remus soon found the strange feeling replaced with the thrill of doing something new. The process was repeated around eight more times before the bottom layer of the hair was covered in tin foil. Of course, Remus' arm began to hurt, "Are you done yet?" he whined.

Virgil shook his head absent-mindedly, finishing the last piece of hair that remained. Finally, Virgil wrapped the last of the bottom hair and gave Remus a thumbs up in the mirror. Remus let his hair fall down with a relief filled sigh, shaking his hand, "Shit, you have no idea how fucking hurt can you get by not doing anything."

Virgil let out a breathy laugh, though making almost no sound. Remus found it weird at first, like someone put a tv on mute, but eventually got used to it. At least now he didn't stare at Virgil when he laughed, Remus didn't even stare because he found him weird he just liked looking at Virgil laughing, as it didn't happen very often.

Remus took one of the foils into his hand, "So, how long 'til I get these off?"

Virgil looked up in thought, 'About forty minutes,' at that, Remus groaned. Virgil raised an eyebrow, 'What did you expect? 2 minutes?'

Remus looked away, "I mean yeah, kinda."

Virgil facepalmed. Remus laughed at the action, standing up, "So, is Picani here? I haven't seen him. What did you do? Did you kill him?"

Virgil shook his head as if it was a serious question, 'It's parent-teacher conference today, remember?'

Remus snorted, "Oh, yeah, shit. Mom's gonna be pissed as fuck. I mean, she's always pissed after parent-teachers, so..." he trailed off, looking up at Virgil.

'What do you wanna do now?', Virgil signed awkwardly.

The shorter shrugged, "I dunno, man, it's your house, you choose...or should I?"

'Please don't,'Virgil seemed to think for a minute, ignoring Remus' chuckling, 'Have you watched Zombieland?'

"No, what's that?"

Virgil widened his eyes, 'Are you serious?'

Remus pouted, "Yeah, what is it? Is it some kind of porn?"

The taller rolled his eyes, taking Remus by the hand and leading him to the living room. The strange feeling Remus had before had returned, somewhere in the back of his mind the word he was searching for to describe it, but Remus couldn't reach it. His chest felt tighter than usual, almost like Virgil was squeezing it. What was this feeling, Remus didn't know, but guesses it had something to do with the fact that he didn't eat anything all day. Yeah, now that he thought about it, he was really hungry. Dee would probably lecture him about his eating habits if he was here.

Virgil seated Remus on the couch in the living room, going to look through the stack of DVDs next to the tv. He finally settled on one, which Remus assumed was the one he and Virgil talked about a moment ago. He placed in on the DVD player under the tv, then got up and walked into the kitchen. Remus used that time to look around the room. It was...very neutral, if Remus had to be nice about it. But he didn't have to, so it was pretty fucking boring. The wallpaper was light beige. The couch was beige. The carpet was beige. Remus started to hate beige. At least the floor was dark brown. He noticed a few photographs on the wall next to the big wooden bookshelf. It had mostly Picani and Virgil in it, but one photograph stood out. It was of what Remus assumed was a young Picani, maybe around 15? He's poking his tongue out, along with some brown-haired woman. Remus walked closer to the photograph to take a good look at her. She was pale, very much like Virgil. Her curly hair was going past her shoulders, stopping shortly below. Her icy blue eyes were the same colour as one of Virgil's eyes. Behind the hair, Remus noticed a patch of skin darker than the rest, going up to her jaw.

Slam.

Virgil yanked the photo off the wall, walking over to the trash can and dropping it in harshly. He turned to go back to the kitchen, a kitchen pass-through making it possible for Remus to still see him.

"I uh, I- I'm sorry."

Virgil didn't reach, his expression shifting from irritated to neutral. He drank the water he poured himself.

Remus looked at the empty spot in the middle of the wall, "Look, dude, I didn't know...whatever the hell the business with that chick you have. Like, I guess it's Picani's wife or some-"

"Stop."

Remus widened his eyes at the quiet brittle voice, just on the edge of his hearing, obviously sore from not speaking for a long time. Virgil seemed to be the second to realize, widening his eyes before shaking it off.

He reached into the freezer and pulled out two tubs of strawberry and mint ice cream. Remus didn't bring up the obvious elephant in the room, instead forcing on a smile and walking over to grab two spoons from the dishware drawer. It wasn't long before the two were settled on the couch under a blanket, leaning against each other while eating ice cream. Virgil was silent, as always. Remus made comments through the whole movie, well, not whole obviously, he didn't want his precious hair to fry off.

He shoved the spoon full of ice cream into his mouth, "Shit, bro, Wichita and Little Rock really did that. We stan illegal queens," Virgil tapped his shoulder, "What'cha want, emo?" the man in question pointed to his foil-wrapped hair, "Oh, right, I forgot."

He set the tub down and went to the bathroom, waiting for Virgil to follow, but instead was met with signing, 'You can wash it yourself,' at which Remus raised his eyebrows.

"Yeah, sure, okay," he hesitantly walked to the bathroom, glancing at Virgil before shutting the door.

Virgil sighed heavily, leaning against the sofa. He put hands on his face. At least he avoided more awkwardness. Emile is gonna be back soon, just a...what's the time again? Virgil checked his phone, good, just a few minutes now. Just a few minutes of awkwardly sitting through the movie until Emile comes home. Just a few minutes. Virgil didn't notice the water stopped running.

"Well, how do I look?"

Virgil glanced at Remus leaning against the door frame, hair still wet even though Remus had a damp towel in his hand. The tips of his hair bleached, blending together nicely with his naturally dark brown hair. Maybe Virgil was biased because he did that, but it looked beautiful on him, even with the wet hair. Virgil gave Remus thumbs up, smiling tensely.

"Damn right, I look so fuckable!" Remus looked in the mirror in the hallway proudly and Virgil couldn't help but let out a soundless laugh.

#when you walk away (nothing more to say) #sympathetic remus #remus sanders #virgil sanders #analodemus #dukexiety #vimus #slow burn

[snappedsky]

Fanatics Adventures in Space Part 24

The Night Terrors attend a party. Previous! Next!

--

The Banquet

           Our heroes have been gone for over half a year. And while their friends and family miss them, time continues to pass normally.

           Winter has struck the Nameless City as hard as usual: clear streets one day, snow the next. Many of the citizens are used to it and prepare around this time. But a couple are just unable to. Like the Night Terrors and their roommate, Aron.

           “I hate this time of year,” Aron mumbles, shivering and curled up in a blanket next to their space heater. The Night Terrors are in much the same position.

           “Yeah, I thought California was supposed to be like hot,” Eff whines.

           “You really gonna try and apply logic to this city?” Reverend Meat grunts.

           “At least the van is warmer than it was before it got tricked out,” Sickness points out.

           “Cold is still cold,” D-boy grumbles.      

           The door is suddenly thrown open, letting in the freezing air and biting wind.

           “Close the damn door!” everyone barks as Serena enters.

           “Relax,” she snaps back, shutting the door behind her. “Look at this.”

           She throws a newspaper on the floor in front of them. On the front page they recognize a photo of her father- Charles Von, the mayor of the city- shaking hands with another smartly dressed man.

           “Who’s that?” Eff asks.

           “Uh Vincent Pimento?” Serena replies impatiently, “I’ve been talking about him for the last couple months.”

           “You can’t expect us to listen to everything you say,” D-boy states, “normally it’s only about men you’ve fucked and eaten.”

           “I like those stories,” Reverend Meat says.

           “Well, to catch you up,” Serena growls, “with Celio Mussolini imprisoned, people are considering Pimento to be the new ‘most powerful man in the city’. And he’s taking that very seriously. I think he might try to take over the city like Mussolini did.”

           “But he looks like he’s making good friends with your dad,” Sickness points out as she looks over the article.

           “That’s just a front!” Serena snaps, “Dad doesn’t see it either, but he’s dangerous. I’m sure he’s gonna dig up some dirt on Dad and use it to blackmail him later. We have to stop him before he gets too powerful.”

           “We do?” D-boy questions.

           “Yes! You’re supposed to be protecting the city, right? Wouldn’t your ‘Little Boss’ want you to take care of a threat before it got too bad?”

           “Alright,” Reverend Meat shrugs, “but what are we supposed to do?”

           “I’m glad you asked,” Serena grins, “Pimento is holding a banquet at his mansion tonight. We’re gonna crash it and-.”

           “And kill him?” Eff suggests.

           “I considered that but his death would be too noticeable,” she replies, “so we’re just gonna find some dirt on him to use as blackmail.”

           “Sounds fun,” Sickness smirks.

           “Not to be the voice of reason,” Aron says, “but you might be able to sneak into a rich banquet, but do you really think these guys can?”

           “What’s that supposed to mean?” Eff asks critically.

           “You stand out?”

           “Oh. Yeah, that’s true.”

           “Don’t worry, I already have a plan,” Serena grins, “I’ll get in with one of you as my date. After, we’ll sneak upstairs and let the other three in.”

           “Okay,” Reverend Meat nods, “so who’ll be your date?”

           “D-boy.”

           “What?” he questions with surprise. “Why me?”

           “Yeah, why him?” Eff questions scornfully.

           “D-boy is the least likely to make a scene,” Serena replies.

           “I am?” he questions.

           “And once I clean him up, he’ll look like a half-decent socialite,” she adds.

           “How are you gonna clean him up?” Sickness asks.

           “At my dad’s house, obviously,” she grunts, as she gets into the driver’s seat. “So buckle up cause the party starts at 7. And I’m guessing it’s gonna take a couple hours to get D-boy clean.”

           “Is no one gonna ask how I feel about doing this?” D-boy asks.

           “No,” Reverend Meat replies plainly.

           “Alright. Just checking.”

           Serena drives them across the city to the richer part of town, where her family home is. She parks the van at the curb and they all get out and hurry up to the house, eager to escape the cold.            

           “Serena!” her mother chimes as they enter. “Always so nice to see you home. And you’ve brought your…little friends…”                

           “We’re going to a party tonight,” Serena explains, “I gotta help them get ready.”

           “Take off your shoes please,” her mom requests.

           “Trust me, none of us want that,” Reverend Meat says.

           She grimaces as they pass and follow Serena upstairs. She leads them to a large, sparkling washroom and shoves D-boy towards the shower.

           “Get clean,” she orders, “while you’re doing that, I’ll find you a tux.”

           “Fine,” D-boy groans as he takes off his hat.

           Serena hurries down the hall to her parents’ bedroom and goes into their walk-in closet. She goes through her father’s clothes before finding a nice, simple tuxedo and nods agreeably.

            As she leaves, she runs into her little brother, Jeff, in the hall. He’s leaning against the wall, watching her suspiciously.          

           When she gets back to the washroom, she finds D-boy in his spotted briefs sitting on the toilet while Sickness scrubs at his face, Eff, Reverend Meat, and Aron watching from the sidelines. D-boy’s hair is wet but he’s still covered in make-up.

           “What’s going on? Aren’t you done yet?” Serena asks as she hangs up the suit.

           “He showered but his face is covered in layers of paint,” Aron explains.

         “I haven’t washed in a while,” D-boy adds, “I just touched-up my face paint when I needed.”

           “Jeez, we need a freekin trowel to scrape all this off,” Sickness complains as she scrubs his cheek raw.

           When D-boy’s face is finally clean- albeit red and tender- Serena helps him into the tux and does his hair all nice and neat. By the time he’s finished, he’s barely recognizable.

           “May I present, Psycho of Doughboy,” Serena says, bowing dramatically as she shows off the finished product to the others.

           “Wow, Dee, you almost look like a respectable person,” Aron comments.

           “Which is more than can be said about any of us,” Reverend Meat remarks.

           “How’s it feel?” Sickness asks.

           “Not too different,” D-boy replies as he straightens his necktie. “I miss my hat though.”

           “Beauty is pain,” Serena grunts. “Now, we have about half an hour before the party. Wait downstairs and try to stay clean while I get ready.”

           “It takes you half an hour to get ready?” Eff asks judgementally.

           “Hardly. It usually takes me two hours. I didn’t expect D-boy to take so long.”            She shoos everyone out into the hall and starts preparing. By the time she’s finished, it’s almost seven o’clock. She’s wearing a long, dark purple dress with spaghetti straps and a slit up the left leg; her black hair is done up in an elaborate up-do and she has bright red lips and smoky eyeshadow.

           “Wow, you look great,” Sickness comments.

           “I know,” Serena smiles.

           “So how are we getting there? The van?” D-boy asks.

           “They can take the van,” she replies as she nods towards Eff and the others. “I got our own ride.”

           “Okay, guys, meet us at the Pimento residence- the address is in the paper,” she orders as she leads D-boy away. “Wait for us on the roof and we’ll let you in when we can.”

           “Okey dokey,” Reverend Meat salutes and the others wave as they walk away.

           Serena leads D-boy to the garage, where a limousine is parked. Her younger brother, Jeff, is leaning against the hood.            

           “You owe me for this,” he states, pointing at Serena before knocking on the driver’s door and walking away.

           Serena opens the back door and ushers D-boy in. “After you.”

           He looks around in awe as he slides onto the leather seat. There’s a fully stocked mini-fridge, a cooler with champagne, and best of all- a working heater.

           “Wow. Swanky,” D-boy grins.

           “Welcome to the highlife, Dee,” Serena smirks as she sits beside him. “Enjoy it while it lasts.”            The limo exits the garage and they head to the party.

           Expensive vehicles line the street leading up to the Pimento manor- a large, cream coloured three-story building with a big, clear yard surrounded by a brick wall. There are bright lights streaming out of the first floor and dozens of people crowded around outside the front door, where a bouncer can be seen.  

           “So how are we getting in?” D-boy asks.

           “That’s the easy part,” Serena replies, “I’m the mayor’s daughter, remember?”            As they exit the limo and head up the front door, Serena hooks her hands around D-boy’s arm.

           “Hey,” he grunts.

           “You’re my date. Act like it,” she hisses, “and stand up straight.”

           They pass by the line-up of potential, wannabe guests and approach the bouncer. He doesn’t even look up from his clipboard.

           “Name?” he grunts.

           “Serena Von,” she replies calmly.

           He glances at her with surprise. “Ah, Miss Von. Your father is already here.”

           “Yes, well, I like to be fashionably late,” she chirps, “do me favour and don’t mention to anyone I’m though, okay? I prefer to keep my presence separate from his, y’know?”

           “As you wish, Miss Von,” he nods and steps aside allowing the couple inside.

           “Will your dad being here be a problem?” D-boy asks as they pass through the foyer.

           “It’ll be fine,” Serena replies, “he’ll be too busy getting his ass kissed to notice.”

           They enter the large where the banquet is being held. There’s a large, crystal chandelier hanging from the high ceiling. On the right side of the room, all kinds of clearly rich folks are milling about, being waited on by servants holding trays with fancy, little finger foods. On the other side, couples are dancing to classical music. A large staircase is on the far side of the room, blocked off by a velvet rope and guarded by two suited men.

           “So what’s the plan?” D-boy asks quietly as they walk through the room.

           “Blend in, wait for an opportunity to get those guards away from the stairs,” Serena replies.

           Meanwhile, the other Night Terrors have arrived as well. Having parked the van a couple blocks away, they made their way to the mansion through the back alley and jumped the wall surrounding the yard.

           “Jesus, it’s cold,” Eff whines as they make their way to the side of the house.

           “Okay, where are they?” Sickness asks as they peek through a window to get a look into the party.

           “There,” Reverend Meat replies, pointing at Serena and D-boy amidst the crowd.

           “Wow, D-boy really is unrecognizable, isn’t here,” Eff comments.

           Serena and D-boy start to head over to the serving away when Serena stops short and abruptly turns the other, pulling D-boy after her.

           “Ah, jeez! What?” he grunts in surprise.

           “My dad’s over there,” she whispers, keeping her head low.

           D-boy glances over and spots Serena’s dad, Charles Von, talking to a group of people. One man with short, neat black hair in a three-piece suit seems particularly interested in everything he’s saying.

           “Who’s the guy drooling all over him?” D-boy asks.

           “Vincent Pimento,” Serena hisses, venom dripping from her words.

          She leads D-boy to the dance floor, placing his hands on her hips and grabbing his shoulders.

           “I don’t know how to dance,” he whispers.

           “It’s fine, it’s not hard,” she replies, “just sway a bit and follow my lead. And don’t stare at your feet.”

           They stick to the middle of the dance floor, semi-hidden from her father’s view from the other dancers. While Serena watches him and Pimento talk it up, D-boy eyes the guards at the stairs.

           “So how do we get rid of them?” he asks.

           “We need some sort of distraction,” Serena replies.

           “I can come up with something.”

           “Okay, just be subtle-.” She flinches and looks away when she makes brief eye contact with Pimento. “Shit.”

           “What?” D-boy questions.

           “I think they spotted me.”

           D-boy glances over and notices Pimento whispering to Charles, pointing at them.

           “Damn. What do we do?” he asks.

           “We have to throw them off our trail; do something to make them uncomfortable,” Serena replies.

           “Like what?” D-boy asks as he tries to avoid making eye contact with Charles.

           “I have an idea. It’s a little crazy, but just roll with it,” Serena says.      

           “I like crazy.”

           “Good.”

           She throws her arms around D-boy’s neck and kisses him flat on the mouth.

           D-boy’s eyes widen slightly with surprise. Eff, Sickness, and Reverend Meat exclaim with shock and nearly fall over. Around them, the dancers grimace and make an effort to look anywhere else, as do Pimento and Charles.

           Serena breaks the kiss and they both glance towards her father.

           “Wow, it worked,” D-boy says.

           “Yeah, now it doesn’t have to be weird,” Serena remarks.

           “It’s not weird. Just a little gross.”

           “Right,” she grunts and wipes her mouth. “Do you paint the inside of your mouth?”          

           “Sometimes it gets through my lips,” he shrugs.

           Serena scoffs with disgust and smiles. “Okay, so, what was your distraction idea?”

           “Oh, right,” D-boy nods, “okay, just let me lead for a minute.”

           D-boy carefully directs them across the floor, doing his best to stay on-beat to the music, and nears another dancing couple. As they take a step, D-boy sticks his leg out, tripping the women and knocking both of them to the floor.

           “Nice,” Serena comments.

           Everyone’s attention is immediately drawn to the sprawled out couple and the men guarding the stairs rush over. While the couple is helped up and checked over for injuries- and the on-looking guests say rude things about their dancing under their breath- D-boy and Serena race up the stairs.

           “There they go,” Reverend Meat says, “let’s go.”            The three of them easily scale the wall up to the roof and wait for a window to open.

           D-boy and Serena hurry through the house to the third floor. Fortunately, it’s completely empty, any residents seemingly at the party or just out. They find a room with a window on the side of the house and quickly open it.

           “Nice work, guys,” Reverend Meat comments as he, Eff, and Sickness swing in.

           “Now time for phase 2,” Serena grins, “follow me.”

           She leads the crew back to the second floor and she quickly checks every door until she finds Pimento’s office.

           “Okay, look for something, anything,” Serena orders as she begins pulling out drawers and rifling through papers.

           “What exactly are you hoping to find?” Sickness asks as they follow suit.

           “I don’t know. Evidence of money laundering, human trafficking, child pornography.”

           “Wow, that really escalated,” Eff comments.

           “Just look for something we can use against him,” Serena demands.

           “Ahem.”

           The obnoxious fake cough makes Serena and the Night Terrors whip around to the door, where Pimento is standing with four of his servants. Serena glowers as he steps forward.

           “Serena Von,” he says, “I knew it was you. Why are you here? Why do you hate the friendship your father and I have?”            “You’re not friends with my father,” Serena snarls, “you just want to use him and throw him away. I know your type. You hate that my father uses his wealth for the sake of others and you want to destroy him.”

           “Why do you care what happens to him?” Pimento asks, “didn’t he kick you out and cut you off from the family’s wealth.”

           “He means well. He only did that to teach me responsibility.”            “And that sure didn’t work. Now you and your…odd friends are gonna be arrested and you will besmirch your father’s name.” He laughs cruelly. “I don’t have to ruin him when his family does it so well for me.”

           Serena growls as he chuckles. “Okay, time to for Plan B.”

           “Plan B?” D-boy questions.

           “The ‘B’ stands for ‘Beat ‘em up’.”

           The Night Terrors smirk with understanding. Before the guards can even blink, Sickness is on top of one and knocks him to the ground; Reverend Meat punches the other in the chest, immediately knocking him unconscious; the Doughboys finish off the last two by slamming their faces into the walls.

           Pimento can hardly register what just happened, his jaw slung open in shock. Before he can say anything, Serena grabs the front of his shirt, tugs him into the room, and throws him onto the desk.  

           “Here’s the deal, Pimento,” she hisses, baring her vampire fangs inches from his quivering face. “If you do anything to try and hurt my father or my family, I will hunt you down and make you watch as I drain your pathetic body of every last drop of blood. Got it?”

           He whimpers and nods pathetically.

           “Good,” she chirps and steps back. “Let’s go, guys.”

           She opens the window and they climb out.

           “You know,” D-boy says as they scale the building. “If you had just done that like a week ago, we wouldn’t have had to attend this party.”

           “Yeah but this was more fun,” Serena shrugs.

           “So are we gonna talk about the fact that you two…uh,” Reverend Meat says, awkwardly pointing between the two of them.

           “Nope,” they declare.

           “Okay. Just checking.”

#invader zim #invader zim fanfiction #johnny the homicidal maniac #johnny the homicidal maniac fanfiction #iz jthm crossover #my art #my ocs

[virgilmydarkstrangeson]

Trying to Survive: Chapter 33

A/N: We’re here! Chapter 33, the final chapter, and it’s taken us so long to actually get here, you guys have no idea how much I worked on this to make it an appropriate ending. Thank you everybody for supporting me as I wrote this story over the course of a year and a month, and I hope you’ll read my other stories that will be coming out soon! Love you all!!!

Summary: Virgil just wants to live as himself. There are bumps in the road, but hey, life isn’t easy. Pairing: Analogical Trigger Warnings: Anxiety, panic attacks, very brief mention of transphobia, mentions of top surgery, brief mention of a super sympathetic Deceit like literally one name mention, gay crying, if you see anything else please tell me!! Word Count: 2,049

~~~

Virgil was stood, looking into the mirror as he smoothed down his shirt, his hands shaking ever so slightly. It had been nearly three years to the day now since he had gotten top surgery, yet it still felt so strange to have a flat chest, to not need his binder anymore. He was looking into the mirror, and looking back was him, nobody but himself, and it was incredible. It also allowed him something to focus on to calm his nerves, as his stomach was in a tight knot.

There was a soft knock on the door before it creaked open and Patton poked his head inside of the room.

“Hey kiddo, how you doing?” Virgil saw Patton’s concerned look in the mirror, and let out the breath he didn’t realise he had been holding as he turned to face him.

“Nervous, extremely.” Patton pulled Virgil into a tight hug, seeming to not care about messing up Virgil’s clothing. “What if I mess up, Pat? Everyone will be watching me…” Patton pulled away then, holding onto Virgil’s shoulders as he looked him in the eyes.

“Hey, you’re going to do great, you’ve been practising for months now, and even if you do mess up it’s not like anyone’s going to know.” Virgil sighed and looked away, chewing on his lip. “You’ll be fine, Virg, honest. Once you get out there, you’ll forget all about your worries.”

“I hope you’re right…” Virgil sighed again, taking one last look in the mirror and smoothing his shirt down again before taking a deep breath. “Okay, I’m ready.”

As soon as they walked out, they were greeted by Virgil’s dad, who smiled widely at seeing them.

“You look great, son. Are you ready to go?” Virgil simply nodded, not used to his hair not falling into his eyes as the still-purple mess had been slicked back and styled for the day. Patton nearly squealed as he had started to bounce in place.

“Pat you look more excited than me,” Virgil let out a small laugh as he spoke, only half-joking, as he was still extremely nervous. “Let’s just go before I actually have a panic attack, okay?” Virgil linked arms with his dad and began walking, with Patton walking only a few paces behind them.

The sky was completely clear of clouds as they slowly walked down the concrete path, and despite the time of year, the sun shone warm, bathing everything in a bright glow. Music was starting to reach Virgil’s ears now, and in a few steps they were there, and Virgil had to swallow down the growing anxiety.

As everyone stood up, Virgil noticed just how many people there were, all looking at him with various expressions. Virgil noticed a lot of Logan’s siblings and cousins who he had finally met last year around Christmastime, including Logan’s teenage sister Olivia, who was wearing a bright purple dress, as well as a lot of people who Virgil had never seen in his life but could only assume were more of Logan’s relatives and friends. The worry of what they might think about Virgil having literally nobody on his side only melted away when they reached the aisle and Virgil saw Logan.

Logan was wearing a suit in the same style as Virgil’s own; three-piece, all black with the only colour being his tie, which was a rich, velvet purple, and the pocket square in his breast pocket which was space themed, and matched the one Virgil had in his own pocket. Virgil’s tie, however, was a deep blue, and instead matched up with the boutonniere attached to Logan’s lapel, which was a rose dyed the same shade of blue, much like the rose on Virgil’s lapel that was dyed the same purple as Logan’s tie. Virgil locked eyes with Logan, silver meeting blue, and he noticed how Logan’s hair was also styled up away from his face, he had grown it longer recently.

While Virgil had been taking in how handsome Logan looked, he and his dad had made it up to the altar, and then it was just him and Logan, while everyone else sat down, save for Roman and Patton, who was the officiator and best man respectively, Patton refused to choose a side. From this point on, most of the ceremony was a blur for Virgil, save for the vows, which became one of those memories that would never leave Virgil for as long as he was alive.

"Logan,” Virgil began, trying to somewhat regulate his breathing and also imagine that possibly a hundred pairs of eyes were not actually staring at him. “We may have met by chance, but you have changed my life forever. You accepted me when hardly anyone else would, and you related to me in ways that nobody else has ever done. We both love space, and we've never had an awkward silence, and these, as well as many other reasons, made me realise how good you are for me. You changed me, for the better. And now I can't even imagine my life without you." Virgil never once broke eye contact as he spoke, finding comfort in those blue eyes, and noticed that Logan’s eyes were becoming slightly glassy, while his own vision blurred for a moment before he tried to blink it away. Great, they were both about to cry at their own wedding. "Virgil,” Logan’s voice cracked ever so slightly that Virgil was sure he was the only one who caught it, and he couldn’t help but smile slightly knowing he wasn’t the only nervous one. “When we met I wasn't looking for any sort of relationship, but you changed that. You had a fire in your eyes I hadn't seen in many people, and your differences never once deterred me. You're passionate about so many things and brought a new spark to my life, you made me realise that sometimes, real experiences are so much better than anything fictional. And now I can't even imagine my life without you." That line, it was what they had chosen to connect whatever else they were going to say. Virgil could clearly remember the night he thought of it, just lying in bed while Logan was at the desk, the only sound being the latter grading papers. It was when he realised just how much Logan had changed his life around.

Roman cleared his throat after the rings had been exchanged, Virgil’s was a thin, white gold band while Logan’s was a more traditional golden colour, and Roman was obviously trying and failing to contain his own smile as he spoke next.

“Then, if nobody has any objections,” Roman paused, both for dramatic effect and to see if anybody would object like there was anybody in the vicinity who wasn’t bursting from happiness, before continuing. “I now pronounce you husband and husband. You may kiss the groom!” In the corner of his eye, Virgil thought he saw Logan’s mother grimace slightly, but that didn’t matter to him at that moment, as he was giving Logan a small, warm smile and then they were kissing, only lightly, lips barely brushing together as a cascade of applause hit his ears, muffled to Virgil as his focus was fully on Logan, even as they pulled apart and were just smiling at each other.

The pictures were taken not too far away, in front of a large flower bed filled with a huge array of flowers in every colour of the rainbow. Unsurprisingly, Patton begged to be in every photo that he possibly could, even getting into a tiny argument with the photographer, Dee, over whether Patton counted as Virgil’s family, but it was lighthearted, and Patton still got to cling to Virgil’s free arm in every photo he was in, smile brighter than the sun.

After all the photos had been taken, it was a short drive to the hall that the reception was being held, as well as the buffet that Logan and Virgil had decided to have instead of a sit-down meal. That way, everyone could eat whatever they liked. However, before anyone could eat, Roman insisted that they have a ‘first dance’ together as a married couple.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm proud to present for the first time, Mr and Mr Sanders!" Roman's booming voice was even louder than usual thanks to him finagling a microphone from the DJ, and that was Logan and Virgil's cue, to walk into the large hall decorated with blue and purple balloons and streamers, hand in hand, both unable to contain their smiles. The DJ turned on the music Virgil had picked out, a song he himself had written and recorded only a few months ago, and then Logan led Virgil to the middle of the dance floor, and they began a simple, swaying dance. "You know that your vows were almost cheesy, right?" Virgil whispered when the music was loud enough to drown out his voice to everyone else. Logan seemed to chuckle, his arms around Virgil's waist tightening ever so slightly.

“That is the nature of writing romantic things, you know.” Logan's voice was right by Virgil’s ear as he spoke, Virgil had invested in a pair of insoles to give him a couple of extra inches to his height, meaning he was now only two inches shorter than Logan, give or take. “I don’t think I’ve ever fully seen your forehead before.” The statement was so random that it caused Virgil to almost laugh before he disguised it as a cough.

“Not what I expected to hear as we’re dancing on our wedding day, L, but okay,” Virgil smiled, and Logan scoffed a bit, his face burning slightly. He was still smiling, however.

“I was going to say that your hairstyle suits you, you should wear it up more often. You didn’t let me finish.” This only furthered Virgil’s laughter, which caused Logan’s smile to grow as well. “You’re insufferable sometimes.”

“You’re the one who married me,” Virgil retorted as the music faded out and a more lively song replaced the gentle guitar strings, and other people began to trickle onto the dance floor.

A few hours of dancing and food and people constantly congratulating Virgil and Logan on getting married, and then they were off for their honeymoon. Virgil had changed into a black and white plaid button-up with a purple shirt underneath, as well as his trademark skinny jeans, while Logan was wearing the black shirt from his suit and a dark blue blazer. They had packed beforehand, and the suitcases were in Logan’s car already, so they said quick goodbyes before getting in, and then they were really off.

Another few hours, and Virgil was humming to himself as he stared out of the window, watching the dark silhouettes of the scenery outside fly past. Logan was driving, his eyes fixed on the road, however, Virgil couldn’t help but lay his hand on the hand Logan was resting on the gearstick.

“I hope you’re not trying to distract me,” Logan glanced in Virgil’s direction momentarily, and there was no dissatisfaction in his eyes. “I’d prefer to reach the resort.”

“I know,” Virgil replied, smiling even though he knew Logan wouldn’t be able to properly see it. “It’s hard to believe we’re actually married, it seems like we’ve been talking about it for ages.”

“I know what you mean, our lives have taken drastic turns since we met,” Virgil’s focus shifted to the ring on his finger as he thought about what to say next.

“All because I met a space nerd who accepts me for who I am.”

“And I met a ‘space nerd’ who was unafraid to be himself.” Logan parked the car and turned to look properly at Virgil, hands actually intertwining. “You’re incredibly brave, Virgil. Incredible doesn’t even begin to describe you.” Virgil felt heat rush to his face, however, he wasn’t as flustered as he would’ve been a couple of years ago.

“You’re pretty incredible yourself, L,” Virgil’s voice had dropped to a near whisper, and the pair leaned in for one sweet, quick kiss before getting out and grabbing their suitcases, ready for a beachside honeymoon to kickstart their new, married, happy life together.

~~~

TtS Taglist: @exquisitestardust @romanamongthestars @alltimevirgilant @coffee-spice @faacethefacts @ten-cent-thoughts @a-whole-lot-of-screaming @roboticpenmanship @samuelcwboslyn @sylveon-lover-crazyfangirl1415 @louvrejpeg @allycat31415 @aquilacalvitium @midnightalex12 @sinful-stars @princeanxious @randomperson0055 @snowcherri @individual-charlie @certifiedfangirlluna @lowkeyvirgilobsessed @cdragontogacotar @enderperson43 @your-username-is-unavailable @awkward-avocado-of-death @lesliealiceinwonderland @mewmewmika @whatcanisay-imafan-der @dorkanddrearykay @kingalexdreaming @queerly-anxious @logically-emotional @illogical-anxieties @hamster-corn @canadian-crofters @astraastro @ab-artist @raygelkitty @featuredfander @confinesofpersonalknowledge @kameraishere @starry-eyed-haiku-dreamer @secretlyanxiouspersona @cjcipher234 @booksandpages @thestoryofme13 @kri-marie-b-the-nb @hissesssss @they-call-me-anxiety @the-literal-fae @ravenclawunicorn1 @crownswriter123 @avvkvvardmermaid @never-the-maknae @dannerism @nightmareelmst @infinitysgrace @strongindependentcheesecake @caffeinated-casper @lucifer-in-my-head @theresneverenoughfandoms @pixiedylan @no-life-no-problem @periwinklewinter @edgykatdoesthething @aleicim @soft-boy-patton @jazensnothuman456 @band-be-boss-blog @sanders-s1des-blog @quietwords-loudthoughts @potassium-over-dose @derp-a-la-sheep @imbasicallypunklogan @theitalianalchemist @meep-meep-motherfucker @emily-in-wonderland @a-little-bit-of-ace @pastelprinceofthestars @hemooryctolagus @kiwisandsprinkles @unikornavenger @shadowsfromthesun @lotusthatexists @echomist13 @sopi-montezzz @noahlovescoffee @a-fander-named-skittles @kitthepan @podcastsandcoffee @sherlock-lives-on-bakerstreet @everyday-emo-stuff @jadekitten1 @singingjo @anxiouslogan24 @thecripplingloneliness @youridisfake @squishyturtle44 @luckybanana948 @peanut0303 @fuck-spock @sombraplayslazertag @justasadchildwithablog @a-heartbroken-patton @theunoriginaldaisy @onesmolegg @euphoni-um-no @flamingfawkes @lunalikesgamesandstuff @hitsmetheultimatetrash @why-would-i-tell-youu2 @anxiousvirgilsanderss @grey-lysander @megamysticmermaid @introverted-happiness @max-is-tired @lizziepopanime @wowimsogoddamnoriginal 

#thomas sanders #virgil sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #romantic analogical #analogical #trans!virgil

[secondchancesfic]

S.C: Chapter VI

Superhero!AU

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Pairings: Parental Analogical, Platonical Anxceit, unrequited love (LoganxDeceit). Sibling Roman and Remus 

Tags/Warnings: Anxiety, jealously, violence, explosions, villain!Roman,  Villain!Remus, blood, major character death (mention)

Words: 4198

-“Hey, Logan! Do you want to have some fun?” “No, I cannot compute it”- Gregory said mockingly, imitating Logan’s voice poorly. Remy laugh hysterically at the impersonation, he obviously didn’t know who the guy was or how he sounded but MAN, did Gregory made some very stupid voices.  

-Like… He really knows how to relax! He doesn’t need to get out of the office at all!- Gregory continue with a very exasperated tone in his voice.

-Sheesh, why do you even have a crush on him? Sounds like a very boring person, let alone super old- Remy gasped. –Like a grampa!-

-Now you made weird- Gregory flopped in the couch and hold a pillow.  

-I made it weird!? Bitch, it was weird all along, what are you talking about?- Remy sipped on a Starbucks plastic cup as he scrolled through his phone.

-I don’t know, I guess it’s just… He is really smart? And attentive? But…- Gregory groan. –This is so stupid…-

Remy hummed.

-Rem… I don’t feel so different…- He finally said.

Remy gulped. –Talking shit was the first step. The second step is meeting someoooone!!!- He said the last word in a singing tone.

He showed Gregory his phone, Remy was scrolling through his gallery. The photos were mostly selfies from Remy with other villains, everyone was using their complete uniforms. The villain stopped in one picture showing himself and a guy who was wearing a masquerade with white attire with golden trims.  

-Dude, this guy is super-hot! I gotta introduce you to The Prince- Remy said getting really excited.

-I don’t want to meet anyone, let alone another villain. All of them are assholes- Gregory said as he pushed Remy´s phone and sat properly.

-Except me!- Remy shouted

-Especially you- Gregory smirked.

Remy gasped offended and kept scrolling through his phone. –Ok, I gotta admit. He is a little self-centered. But my point is, you need to meet someone! This Logan guy wasn’t the only one coop up in that place, Greg. If you want to be with someone you have to go out there and show who’s boss.-

-Are we talking about dating or fighting someone?-

-You know what I mean-

-I really don’t-

-Come on! Why are you so adamant on meeting new people anyway? Excluding the villain factor- Remy asked curiously as he sip from his cup.

Gregory let out a huff and sink back in the couch -Have you seen me at all?- he said in a calm manner.

- What do you mean?- Remy was taken aback, his eyes still glued to the phone.

-Remy, I’m horrible. This fucking thing here- Gregory pointed to his scar. –People stare at it and get freak out. No one would want to date someone as hideous as me-

The villain was completely silent for once and looked directly at his friend. In all his time knowing Gregory, never did he imagine the hero would feel like that about himself. He never cared about his scar or what others thought. Or at least that’s the impression he gave.

-What are you talking about, Dee?! You aren’t hideous!-

-Totally believable …- Gregory hold himself, his bleached hair falling in his face.

-I’m serious, AND I’M NEVER THIS SERIOUS!- Remy shouted.

-That’s exactly why I don’t believe you…- He said as he grabbed the glass of water.

-Greg…- Remy was interrupted by Greg’s phone ringing.

He went to grab it and saw the number. Gregory answered the phone, Remy sat straight.

-Yes?- He continue listening, Remy watch carefully. –I’m on my way- Gregory stood up and started walking towards the exit, clicking his phone to end the call.

-Wow! Hey, where the hell are you going?- Remy stayed in the couch, while holding his cup.

-The “grampa” needs help- Remy snorted and sipped his drink. Gregory smirked.

-We’re going to catch The Duke and The Prince-

Remy choked on the tea and coughed before screaming. -WHAT!? NO! COME ON! THOSE ARE THE ONLY GUYS I ACTUALLY LIKE TO HANG OUT!-

-Sorry, Rem. It’s my job- Gregory started walking towards the exit when Remy hug him from behind and keep him tight.

-I’m not letting you! You are not brainwashing anyone!- He said in a half joke tone.

-LET ME GO, YOU DRAMA QUEEN!-

-No!- Remy wrap an arm around Gregory’s neck. –Time to sleep, dear Deceit!-

Remy placed a hand over his friend’s head but nothing happened.

-Brilliant as ever, Rem- Gregory grabbed Remy’s arm and twisted it into a lock, getting a whimper from the villain.

-ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! I GIVE UP!- Remy shout from the pain.

Gregory left him and step back, Remy hold his sore arm and move it carefully.

-Shit… When did you get strong?-

-I’ve been training-

-It shows…- Remy said annoyed and impressed.

Gregory looked at his friend. –Yeah…- He paused for a moment. –Sorry about the twisted arm-

-It’s… Fine… Go help your sugar daddy or something- Remy smirked.  

Gregory huffed mildly annoyed, then left the apartment leaving Remy alone. The villain sat back in his couch and grabbed his phone, scrolling through the photos. “He really needs to meet other people…” He then saw the picture of The Duke. “…Greg is gonna have a hell of a time with this one…”

  Logan, now Syllogism, was flying on top of the buildings. Well, more like floating, thanks to a pair of anti-gravitational boots he made to prove a point. Which was, you may ask? Who knows? Syllogism acted in an adrenaline and coffee rush after not sleeping 23 hours straight.

He was following the car closely and carefully, not wanting to make his presence known to avoid any kind of accident. The car was driving well enough, curiously not passing any stops or red lights. There were no police cars following them, probably no one catch a glimpse of the car before they made their escape. Weird, but it was better this way, less probabilities of someone getting hurt.

The car stopped at the front of an abandon building. It had a huge hole in one wall on the third floor only covered by a couple boards and all the windows were covered in fabric. The entrance was blocked with a huge piece of wood that looked rather heavy. The neighborhood was completely silent as if it was a ghost town, perfect to hide stolen goods without being notice. Syllogism float down to the roof from the building in front and watch both villains closely, he adjusted his glasses to zoom on both of them. They were bickering about something, one seemed angry while the other was giggling. When the villains enter the building, the hero took out his phone and contacted base again.

-Syllogism here, I’ve tracked down Prince and Duke to an abandoned building. Is back up coming?-

-I’m on my way - Gregory’s voice came in.

-Deceit, how long for you to arrive?-

-Not long. At least 10 minutes.-

-Alright, I’ll wait and guard-

-I’m on my way too!- Another voice came in.

-Virgil, no- Syllogism said from the other line.

-Why not?!-

-It’s too risky, they are unpredictable-

-So what?! I’ve fought unpredictable assholes before!-

-Virgil, I said no. Stay at home-

-No! I want to help! Why won’t you let me-?!-

-Mender- Syllogism’s voice was cold. He was mad –As your superior in command, you are not to come here. Understood?-

There was silence in the other line. –Understood?- He repeated.

-Fine…- The line then cut.

Syllogism sighted as he put away his phone. There was no way in hell he was going to put Virgil in danger like this. Crimson was bad enough, but this two… They were extremely unpredictable, let alone dangerous. There were no fatalities in any of the reports, damages, on the other hand, were their specialties. It was either luck or stupidity they didn’t killed anyone, but they sure left a lot of wounded or even paraplegic people.

10 minutes passed and Deceit arrived at the scene, floating next to Syllogism.

-I can see the prototype is working well- Syllogism commented.

-Yeah, although it takes a bit to stop floating- Deceit said as he walked near Logan to see the building. –Also, I’m pretty sure people would freak out if they saw a whoever flying around-

-Yes, I notice. I will make a camouflage modification after this- Syllogism said calmly.

-Don’t look so excited- Deceit said sarcastically. He looked at the building–Shall we?-

-Affirmative-

Both heroes float towards the open area in the third floor and enter without difficulties. There were stairs that could go up or down; since the villains seem to have stayed in the first floor, they decided to go as quiet as possible downstairs. Deceit was wondering about Logan’s date, he wanted to know the details, but now wasn’t the time. He was not compromising the mission just to feel even more jealous.

They went near the entrance to the first floor and stayed a few stairs up. There was no door or anything blocking entrance to the stairs, there used to be due to the screws and certain pieces on the floor. It was either pulled out by the villains or it was already like that. They listen to the pair arguing.

-Is that what you are spending our money?! Explosives?! Where do you even get this shit!?- The villain in the white attire said. His masquerade was off, set aside in a desk that looked decent enough.  

-Would you relax?! It was for a good cause!- Exclaim the other man, his masquerade was off as well, showing a mustache and a wicked smile, his eyes were full of bags due to the lack of sleep.

-What cause?! I told you to stop exploding things left and right!-

-You said you wanted our names known! What, now I can’t make you a favor?!-

-Where’s the class on doing senseless destruction, Remus? It has to be with style!-

-My style is messy, brother! You should know that by now!- Remus crossed his arms pouting. –I don’t understand what the big deal is…-

The other villain sighed exasperated. –At least… At least tell me next time… It…It kind of scared me ok?!-  

Remus gasped. –The great Roman!? Scared?! Now that IS not your look at all!-

-I know, I know. It surprised me as well. I was just worried you would blew up the bounty! Everything could have gone to hell-

Remus uncrossed his arms and sighed dramatically. –I’m sorry, Roman. I’ll tell you next time when I’m planning on bringing havoc- He booped his brother’s nose and went to sit on his dirty stained bean bag, it made a weird squishy wet sound which made the man sigh with delight.

Roman made a disgusted face. –You know…? With all the money, you could buy yourself a new… thing…-

Remus spread his arms in the bean bag and wiggled. –Nope! I like it this way! It has my natural sent-

Roman looked disgusted but let his brother be. He went towards the desk and grabbed a bag of money, he sat down and started counting it. Syllogism went down a couple steps to have a view of the pair of villains, Deceit was behind him trying to take a look as well. They manage to take a look at the villain who they assumed was Remus laid down in a very uncomfortable way, he was looking through his phone and laughing. The other villain, Roman, was calmly looking at the money. Syllogism and Deceit started to go down, Deceit took out a smoke bomb from his pocket. The click was so quiet they didn’t thought anyone else could hear it.

Remus jumped from his bean bag -Roman… Roman, put your mask on-.

-What? - Roman stopped counting. The heroes stayed in their place trying to kept as much silence as they could.

Remus hold his mask and wore it. – PUT YOUR MASK NOW!-

Roman sighed, standing up from his sit and going towards his brother who was really nervous. –Remus, come on. There’s no one else here, relax.-

-I know I heard something - Remus said keeping his eyes locked on the doorway towards the stairs.

-Yes, like the other times you heard something and turn out to be nothing. Go back to your bean bag and try to rest-

-HEY! WHO IS IN THERE?! I KNOW YOU ARE HERE- Remus ignored what his brother said and started screaming.

Deceit was going to throw the smoke bomb but Syllogism rush him upstairs, they went slow and soundless until Remus started walking towards the doorway. The footsteps became louder as both heroes scramble to the second floor.

-AHA! I TOLD YOU SOMEONE WAS HERE!- Remus ran towards the stairs.

Roman grabbed his mask surprised and rush towards his brother. Both villains went to the second floor and saw no one there. It wasn’t even separated into departments, it was just a really big empty space no one would be able to hide. Then more footsteps were heard in the third floor, Remus smirked maliciously.

-They have nowhere to run…- Remus ran after the sound. Roman followed back.

-It’s probably just some teenagers, why are you rushing?- Roman said. –We can easily kick them out-

-If they are the same teenagers, I will make them eat their own intestines!- Remus laughed.

-No, you’re not…- Roman said as he walked behind his brother.  

The villains went to the last floor, there was a big hole in a wall looking at the street and a couple woods were on the ground. Both villains cautiously stepped inside, looking everywhere. When they were away from the doorstep, a couple gadgets rolled towards the entrance and made an electric net. The buzzing sound made the villains jump in surprise.

-Good evening- Syllogism presented himself, he had used his technology to turn invisible, and reappearing once he got the attention of the villains. They looked at him more annoyed than surprised.

-I am Syllogism, I came here to take you in custody-

The villains looked at each other and burst into laughter. Syllogism looked at the pair with a stoic expression.

-THAT’S THE BEST JOKE I’VE HEARD TODAY!- The Duke practically shouted between laughs.

-Indeed! May I ask, dear Sir Nerd-

-That’s not my name…- Syllogism was interrupted

-What makes you think you can arrest us?- The Prince said as he walked towards the net, hold it and absorb the electricity from it charging the energy in his hand.  

-…Fascinating- Syllogism stared amazed by the powers of the villain.

The Prince throw the ball of energy towards the hero, Syllogism manage to avoid it by an inch. Deceit came out of the shadows and went to touch both villains but they moved fast. The Duke grabbed Deceit’s arm and throw him to the wall, breaking the woods in the process.

-Deceit!- Syllogism shouted as he tried to get closed but The Prince stood between him and Deceit.

-Hey, Duke. Do you want to keep this trash?- The Prince said as he charge more electricity in his hands

The Duke hummed loudly as he got close to Deceit and stepped on his back.- Nah! I’m learning to have higher standards. This…?- He said as he kicked Deceit in the face. -…It’s not exactly the best trash-

Syllogism was horrified but maintain composure, when The Prince was distracted he hold on to him and dropped him to the ground. The hero then grabbed a gadget and throw it at the other villain, it stick to him and gave him a shock. It only made The Duke burst into a fit of laughter, he stopped stepping on Deceit to look at Syllogism.

-Wow! KINKY! Do you have any more of those?!- He said suggestively, getting a groan from his brother and a confused looked from the hero. Deceit grabbed the feet of The Duke and nullified the villain’s powers, then stood up and hit The Duke in the face.

-You shouldn’t get distracted- Deceit said, mouth covered in blood.

The Duke looked at Deceit and smiled widely, blood was coming from his lip.

-Well, well, well! Looks like you aren’t such a wet noodle after all!-

The Duke and Deceit fought while The Prince fought against Syllogism. Syllogism was avoiding each hit, trying to study the movements and how the charging works looking everywhere for a way to contain him. The Prince manage to hit him with an electrified punch in the stomach, the waves of electricity went through his body filling him with a horrible pain. Deceit was defending himself from the punches and kicks from the aggressive villain when he notice Syllogism stumbling, The Prince kept punching and making him go towards the hole in the wall. Deceit punch and throw The Duke to the ground and ran towards Syllogism but the villain grabbed his feet and he fell, then he placed himself on top of him.

-Awww… What’s the matter? Are you tired of playing with me?- The Duke said in a sickly and mischievous manner. –Why don’t you relax and see the spectacle?-

The Duke grabbed Deceit’s hat, putting it on while pulling the hero’s hair so he could watch his comrade being beaten. Deceit didn’t know what to do at that moment, he wiggled and tried to move but the villain was holding him down.

Syllogism was still stunned, trying to compose himself and to not fall back. The Prince kicked him really hard but not enough to send him flying out. Syllogism was getting irritated, especially with the laughter of the villain.

-And I thought heroes were supposed to be strong! First that emo nightmare and now a magician and a nerd!-

Syllogism looked up, eyes locked on the villain. Emo nightmare?

The Duke laughed. –Oh, yeah! He played all tough, until I spooked him! He was such a crybaby- The Duke made a crying motion with his hands.

Syllogism manage to stand up, maintaining enough equilibrium so he didn’t fall.

-Which hero…?- He asked quietly, The Prince catch what he said.

–Why?- the villain said between laughs.

-Tell me… Which…?- Syllogism tried to maintain composure and balance, he was in so much pain but the anger was bubbling up.

-I don’t know? I’m good at describing though. Let’s see… he had purple hair, he was really weak and pretty stupid for trying to stop us. It was fun looking at him crumble after shocking him!- Both villains started to laugh.

Syllogism was angry, how dare they hurt his son? How dare them!? The pain he felt was dissipating, now pure anger was his motor, he took a couple steps towards the villain. The Prince looked surprised and went to shock the hero again, Syllogism grabbed the villains arm and twisted into a lock.

-HEY!- the villain screamed.

-You and him are coming with us right this instant- Syllogism said in a cold tone.

The Duke looked surprised and went to stand up to help his brother, Deceit took the opportunity to hold the villain down. He then pulled a pair of handcuffs and placed them in his hands. The villain started to scream and to try to stand up, The Prince took notice and charge his energy around his body making Syllogism took his hands off of him.

-Alright, it was fun but now you two need to leave- The Prince charge his hands and went to punch Syllogism who protected himself using his arms.

The electricity burned his arms and with each hit he was taking another step back. He tried to think of what to do, he was still pretty dizzy from the beat down. Deceit was screaming his name while still holding the angry villain down, but Syllogism couldn’t make up what else he was saying. He was in a daze. The Prince was ready to kick the hero out of the building, so in a rush of pure adrenaline, Syllogism grabbed the villain’s leg and throw The Prince behind him. The hero dropped to the ground and laid there trying to make sense of all the noise around him.

The sound of screams and a car alarm filled the atmosphere. Syllogism started to hear clearly what the yelling was about, it wasn’t Deceit as he thought. The Duke was shouting frantically and choking on his own words. Was he crying?

-YOU ARE FUCKING DEAD! I WILL KILL YOU ALL! I WILL MAKE SURE YOU TWO ARE FUCKING DEAD!- That was what The Duke was repeating.

Syllogism manage to stand up, still confused by what was going on. He looked at Deceit who was still holding The Duke down and looking horrified at the wall. The older hero looked behind him and saw the empty place and the hole was now well open, pieces of wood were on the ground. He walked towards the wall and looked outside. His mind was filled with horror.

The Prince’s body was over the car, the alarm was still going off not stopping any time soon.

-What have I done…?- He thought to himself. –Focus. You still have to take care of the other villain-

-Deceit, get him down. I’ll… I’ll take care of… the other one…- He wasn’t sure he wanted to get close. What could he do? The Prince was dead, not even Virgil could do something for him. It was the first time Syllogism ever made this kind of mistake, a regretful, horrifying mistake.

Deceit only nodded and stood up while grabbing the villain, who was wiggling and kicking the air angry and heartbroken.

-I’M GOING TO KILL YOU ALL! YOU’LL SEE!! I WILL MAKE SURE YOUR FACES ARE CRUSHED INTO STONE! I WILL DISMEMBER YOUR BODIES AND FEED THEM TO THE RATS!- He kept screaming while crying, his eyes were filled with anger but deep inside Remus was crushed. His brother, his role model, his partner in crime was gone. Roman was gone. His only family, his dear brother was gone, and it was the heroes’ fault.

Deceit manage to dragged him down the stairs as best as he could, being careful on not to drop him by accident. They didn’t need another dead person.

Syllogism float down slowly, he really didn’t want to get close. Why did he do that? What was he supposed to do? He took out his communicator while floating down.

-B-base… This is Syllogism- He said shakily, going down felt like hours.

-Syllogism, what’s the status on The Prince and The Duke?- Dot’s voice came in.

-I-…The Duke is… secured…- The hero stuttered.

-Syllogism? What’s going on? What happened?- Dot sounded concern.

-Dot… I- I killed The Prince…- The hero said.

He finally got to the ground and got close to the body.

-Oh… Oh no… Lo- Syllogism… There will be back up. I can send Mender to- She was interrupted.

-God no… Don’t-Don’t bring him here… Th-there’s nothing he can do- He inspected the body, blood was coming from the mouth and the head. The Prince wasn’t moving at all, but he was breathing, slow and hardly doing so but still breathing.

-DOT! SEND BACK UP! The Prince IS STILL ALIVE BUT BARELY!- Syllogism said yelling.

-O-OH! ALRIGHT! I’LL SEND MENDER AS WELL!- Dot yelled back in a panic.

-I’m here, no need to call- Mender came floating. Of course he had disobeyed.

Syllogism watch as his son came closer to The Prince.

-Holy shit, he is really fucked- Mender said as he got close, not wasting more time he placed a hand on The Prince’s arm, starting the healing process.

-Vir- Mender…- He got interrupted by a loud thump in the building. Both heroes look towards the building. Syllogism then looked at his son.

-Go check, I’ll take care of this- Mender said, blood had stopped coming from The Prince’s wound.

Syllogism wanted to tell his son something, but it had to wait. –Don’t overuse your powers, Mender- He said as he went inside the building.

He found Deceit stunned holding his head and kneeling in the ground, a pair of handcuffs were on the ground. The Duke had escaped.

-Fuck…- Deceit said. –I’m sorry Logan…- he said really embarrassed

-It’s alright, Dee. We’ll catch him sooner or later. Now we need to focus on The Prince-

Deceit look up shocked. Both heroes went outside the building to reunite with Mender.

 Remus ran to the backyard of the building, he ran and didn’t look back. His eyes were filled with tears. He ran and ran, until he got into a well-lit building and hide in the dark alleyway. He clench his fists until the knuckles turned white, then dropped to his knees and started hitting the ground furiously. Remus chocked the words he wanted to yell, he wanted to scream but he didn’t want to draw attention to himself. He felt miserable, so miserable. More miserable than he ever did back at their home.

Footsteps alarmed the villain, making him look up angrily. He would take his anger on whoever was coming towards him.

-Oh my goodness…Remus?- A chirpy voice sounded

Remus froze in his place

-Long time no see!-

__________________________________________________________

Holy crap! I havent upload for a while. Life went like crazy last months. Anyway, here ya go! I will try to make it more often. Sorry for the wait. 

Prologue/ CH 1/ CH 2 / CH 3 / CH 4 / CH 5 / CH 6 / CH 7

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@thatweriddoodlingllama @kaimariethebi @potato–justpotato @enderperson43

#chapter 6 #ch 6 #chapter vi #logan #virgil #roman #remus #mysterious #villains #villain!roman #villain!remus #hero!virgil #hero!logan #hero!deceit #deceit #sanders sides au #sanders sides #au #superhero au #writing #fanfic #sanders sides fic #sanders sides fanfic #blood #tw blood #tw violence #violence #fights #fight #tw fight

[alcalavicci]

Discussing Mr. Paracelsus, Who Are You?

daisymum: “Okay, now that I'm sitting down with the time to write something substantial, my mind draws a complete blank. (Doesn't it always work like that?)

“Anyway, I'm a big Michael Rennie fan & came across this VHS tape of mystery. The guy that found it originally picked it up at a used book sale because it was labelled as a Sherlock Holmes spoof. It's a pristine example of classic late 60s camp and a complete tour de force for Dean Stockwell. He plays a milquetoast undergrad in turn of the century Boston who gets possessed by an immortal 16th century alchemist. Horrors! Stockwell goes from being completely virginal to an out of control seducer (and sorcerer nonetheless) while vamping his way all around the town, in a blink of an eyelash. ‘He's either drunk or been smoking hashish’ is how one character describes him. (How's that for a subtle drug reference?) He kidnaps orphans & sells them into slavery! He marries his fiancee & makes a less than honest woman out of his secretary! He snows his parents & then trys to take over the board of directors at his father's life insurance company! He casts spells using various potions & other nefarious means to further him along his path of complete & total local domination! ‘It's a bit beyond the long arm of coincidence, wouldn't you say?’, is how Michael Rennie's character describes it.

“Michael Rennie himself is terrific & gets to do things you normally wouldn't associate with him, but he's very very good at it nonetheless. He plays a Sherlock Holmes-type professor with tongue firmly planted in cheek, and then later he gets to don several different disguises while spying on Our Villian. The comedic timing is dead on perfect & they obviously had a lot of fun filming it. I strongly believe it was filmed sometime between 1966-68. It's very high camp, in a good way, and Screen Gems spent some money on filming it; there are relatively elaborate sets and costumes, exploding glue factories, dangerous battles to the death, etc. A lot of work went into the production & I wonder why it was shelved. The pacing of the plot is a trifle uneven (when they try to cram in a little too much of the plot into one scene instead of spreading it out over several scenes. That's not a very good description, but if you've ever watched Lost In Space you know exactly what I'm talking about), but it's nothing out of line for what was being broadcast at the time, and could have easily been remedied. In fact, it holds up remarkably well...it's an incredible lot of fun, lo, these almost 40 years later. And like I said, the comedic timing & the overall acting both are perfect as perfect can be. I really do wonder why nothing ever came of it.

“Anyway, most of the credits are missing so not a lot is known about the production. The names on what remains of the credits are all from Screen Gems, which was in high cotton back in 1966/7, with Bewitched, I Dream of Jeannie, The Flying Nun, and especially The Monkees all currently in production & making them a ton of money (and a good deal of money was spent on this as well). Like I said earlier, the dialogue is straight out of Batman, and liberally peppered with drug references galore. I've been searching Variety beginning at the end of 1966 for any kind of information, but no luck yet. Harry Ackerman, the producer, was mentioned several times as one whose fortunes were on the rise, and the pilot viewing season for the network executives had ended in March of 1967, and there's no mention of it there either. So maybe it's from the Summer of '67, perhaps? Does anyone know what Dean S. was up to in the Summer of Love? His hair on the tape is a little long (think Victorian mod), so maybe it does date from somewhere around then? What do you guys think?”

daisymum: “Anyway, if you like Dean Stockwell, you're going to LOVE this. He's prominently featured in the entire thing & spends his time possessed for the most part. He sashays his way around the sets, kind of like a vampish Ellis Dee from The Producers, I kid you not. He pulls it off, though, & the whole thing is really fun to watch.”

Jill: “Well, I have just had the privilege of watching Dean in the tape of 'Professor Queed' and what a treat it was! (thanks, daisymum!). Dean hams it up outrageously in Top Hat and a Cape -- I swear, I haven't seen him act up like this in anything else other than Quantum Leap – and I've seen a lot of Dean in a lot of stuff. In fact, it's a bit disconcerting -- there is all of the comedy schtick from his turn on QL, but in a very young and agile man's body, as he leaps and twirls all over the place. This is not the cool demeanor of Wilbur Whately of Dunwich Horror (which is another over-the-top performance, but not purposefully comedic), nor even the weirdness of the Werewolf of Washington. This is more like "Dave" in Psych-Out. If that director had told Dean Stockwell and Jack Nicholson to REALLY play their parts in Psych-Out for maximum goofiness -- well, then, 'Professor Queed' might have been the result -- provided, of course, that we change Haight-Ashbury into Edwardian times.

“And the dating of this film, which looks very much like an unaired TV pilot, as daisymum said previously, is truly a mystery. Because – Dean supposedly wasn't acting for 3 years (in some interviews, he even says 5.....). And yet, 1966-67 really seems to be the date of this show. Daisymum is thinking late 1966, and I think she's more right than she is wrong.

“1965 is too early, because this isn't the Dean Stockwell of Rapture. Besides, his hair is a bit too long in the back in 'Professor Queed.' Not a lot, but the waves are there at the nape of the neck. His face is very much like 'Dave' in Psych-Out (1968), though not much like the 1968 photo we have of Dean from a UK television show of '68 (where he has a mustache and sideburns). I COULD say it's 1968, like I originally thought........but the film quality itself says earlier than that. It just doesn't look like a 1968 TV pilot to me.........it looks a tad bit older than that.

“Okay, here are my clues, Daisymum (and the rest of you can play along, too). One BIG thing I noticed..........the sound effect when Dean performed 'magic' was the same as when Samantha twitched her nose on 'Bewitched.' And this was produced by the same person, I believe? (Harry Ackerman). So we're at Screen Gems, on ABC. Bewitched first broadcast in color during the 1966-67 season.

“A young Juliet Mills is in the cast. I didn't know if she made TV appearances before 'Nanny & The Professor' of 1970, but upon looking her up at IMDb.com, I noticed she started doing American TV appearances in 1965.

“When I was watching this film, I felt that it was influenced by 'The Great Race' (1965) and 'Those Magnificent Men in Their Flying Machines' (also 1965). I definitely see the villain of The Great Race (Jack Lemmon) in Dean Stockwell's performance. Since it always takes TV a year or two to get on the bandwagon of a popular trend, that would put this Edwardian pilot in 1966 or 1967 (with a nod to other popular Edwardian films of that decade - 'My Fair Lady' -1964, and 'Mary Poppins').

“What this means to my 'timeline' of Dean's life...........well, it could mean that Dean had not completely 'dropped out' of acting for 3 years, as is often claimed. And this performance was much more than just 'making money to put groceries on the table.' This pilot required a lot of effort on Dean's part.

“By the way, as much as I like it, I can also see why this pilot didn't sell. The campiness isn't crazy enough to be laugh-out-loud funny, but if you take it seriously it will make you shake your head and go "huh?" In fact, I need to watch this film several times before I truly understand the story -- and even then, I'm not sure I'll completely get it. Also, Dean was the 'guest star,' so I assume the series was meant to showcase Michael Rennie, not Dean. But Dean is in the film so much, that it ends up being about his over-the-top insanely portrayed character, and you can't sell a series on that much weirdness from a guest star. I don't think.” 

[Me: For what it’s worth, I’ve narrowed down the timing for the filming of this to the first half of 1966.]

#stockwell sassies

[globrights]

iasip s12 rated by macdennis content

The Gang Turns Black: Mac and Dennis spend the entire episode together, getting arrested and put in an interrogation room with each other, and get to sing a DUET together. Charlie even ditches them at some point to go get their VCR from Dee’s place and they don’t care one bit because all they need is each other. Also features a cute bit where Mac leans back into Dennis and sings “I think we’re in The Wiz...” it’s all a dream but if you watch the episode you’ll be glad it was a dream. 7/10

The Gang Goes to a Water Park: They don’t have a plot together in this, but in the cold open Dennis brags about how he can enjoy his time at the water park for free, and is very impressed (”Nice!!!!!!”) when Mac reveals he laminated his admission bracelet and hasn’t even paid to get IN the water park since he was 14... also Dennis bonds with a little girl the whole episode by passing on his swindling ways which proves that he could definitely raise kids with Mac one day, albeit ones just as horrible as the both of them combined. 5.5/10

Old Lady House A Situation Comedy: While Mac and Dennis do interact in this episode, it’s never a one-on-one situation. Dennis does spend the whole episode trying to help Mac (and Charlie) with their moms supposedly being at loggerheads though (and makes a fake tv show out of it, in which he edits in some laughs for Mac when he says some classic, funny catchphrases), and is “outsmarted” by Mac when Dennis claims that he wants to cut Mrs Mac out of the show, and that there’s nothing Mac can do about it because Dennis is, as he so claims, a genius. Dennis then proceeds to eat his words when Mac places his mom in every shot, maneuvering her around so that her face can be seen in all the cameras. Oh, and also, Mac touches Dennis on the shoulder at one point, which is pretty sweet. 4/10

Wolf Cola A Public Relations Nightmare: This episode had its moments, but not macdennis moments. Boo. At no point were they sitting next to each other, which is a huge bummer. That being said, Mac does say the words “Now I’ve always been very passionate about dominating other men. There’s nothing like the feeling of another man submitting to your will. Now that’s power. In a lot of ways, that’s love.” Make of that what you will. 1/10

Making Dennis Reynolds a Murderer: There was a surprising amount of macdennis stuff going on in this episode, considering how it was a crime documentary accusing Dennis of murder. The first picture shown of Dennis in the episode is a picture of him and Mac, which Mac probably submitted because he looks happy in the picture whereas Dennis is a mixture of unprepared and irked—based on the picture it’s also fair to assume Mac put his arm around Dennis when he took the photo. Cute shit. Dennis also recounts how an average Friday night for him is spent watching a movie with Mac. In a later interview, Mac is introduced as Dennis’s best friend, and we proceed to find out that when they watch movies (or just Operation Dumbo Drop, at the very least) Mac likes to turn the volume down so that he and Dennis can make wiseacre remarks. They get into a squabble on camera about whether Mac stole this concept from Mystery Science Theatre 3000 or not, and about how funny Mac’s jokes are. Dennis gets annoyed and leaves, prompting Mac to whine “Wait, w-hold on, Dennis, D-don’t leave without me... Are you mad at me?” Cue sad music. Actual, sad instrumental music that the documentary plays. But sad music aside, it’s funny how Dennis complains about Mac and his supposedly unfunny played out unoriginal jokes yet still spends most average Friday nights at home watching movies with Mac. I see you Dennis, I fucking see you. 7.5/10

Hero or Hate Crime?: Mac comes out for real in this episode! Which is amazing in and of itself making this episode groundbreaking and perfect, but how does that play in terms of macdennis? Well, first off, through gay Mac macdennis is more possible, so jot that down. Second of all, Dennis looks INCREDIBLY offended when Mac tries to claim that he’s not gay, and then is the first one to start gently coaxing Mac to come out of the closet, by telling him they support him and that it’ll make him feel better. He’s also the first one to bring up Mac’s dildo bike, the renowned Ass Pounder 4000, and he also voluntarily brings it from the basement of Paddy’s all the way to where the arbitration is being held. Aside from all the touching of the dildo bike Dennis commits in transporting it, he also touches the bike a ton when Mac is explaining the “workout bike” to everyone. This includes leaning his hand, wrist, even his entire forearm on the bike handles, and wrapping his fingers around it, odd behavior for him to display seeing how Mac presumably fucks himself with the bike, and is reinforced as even weirder in a future episode where Frank and Charlie refuse to even so much as go near the bike. Dennis then proceeds to suggest that Mac penetrating his ass with a dildo bike is just a sexually devious thing to do, and has nothing to do with being gay (Dennis, what are you trying to tell us buddy? Just come on out and say it, we’re all in support). Yeah. Okay, and then when Mac comes out and leaves, and the gang decides to make Mac pay the arbitration fee, Dennis speaks up for Mac and convinces the gang to delay telling Mac where $9,986 of his lottery winnings are going, just so that he can have one triumphant, happy day of being out and gay. 6/10

PTSDee: “Is he blowing someone?” Right off the bat we have Dennis staring at Mac playing a game in Virtual Reality. Why do you care if Mac’s fake blowing someone, huh, Dennis?  Anyway, Dennis decides to become a stripper in this episode, which clearly has an effect on Mac, who’s suffering from fake war flashbacks from the game he was playing with Frank. After a traumatic dream about his father, he dreams of himself waking up and immediately looking for Dennis so he can tell him (and possibly seek consolation from Dennis) about his awful dream, only to see a half-naked Dennis dancing. Upon seeing Mac, Dennis walks up to him and kisses him, prompting Mac to wake up for real, and walk out to see the same half-nude, red-capped Dennis from his dream, actually dancing half naked. Dennis spots Mac and starts amping it up—he pulls off a few different moves—including one where he dances all the way up to Mac, slamming his hands on either side of the doorway Mac stands in, causing his eyebrows to rise in extreme interest, right before Dennis shuts the door because he’s a huge tease. This is definitely the most aroused/interested in something sexual that’s about to happen that Mac has ever been in the series, possibly his entire life. We thank Rob McElhenney for his service, and every single facial expression he produced in those scenes. This is the first explicit interest Mac has taken in Dennis ever since he came out, and it further confirms that Mac really wants to make out with Dennis (amongst other things). Later, Mac wakes up from a 35-second long dream five minutes after arriving at Frank and Charlie’s place, where Dennis is, so it’s easy to presume that he was looking for Dennis. And when Dennis talks about how he, Charlie, and Mike would be an elite stripping force capable of winning the “war against women” he so declared, he tries to invite Mac—who is asleep, sadly—to join them in stripping too. But who cares about all that, because really, all we think about for this episode is the kissing dream and the Dennis dancing for Mac scene, right? 9/10

The Gang Tends Bar: What a wonderful fucking episode. All ‘round beautiful, Megan Ganz truly is a treasure. Mac spends most of the episode trying to get Dennis to open this crate he has supposedly ‘found’. However, because Dennis spends most of the episode trying to get the gang to do their jobs for once on Valentine’s Day, a day he claims he does not want to celebrate or include as a theme in the bar the whole day, he refuses to play along with it, stubbornly bartending for most of the day, no matter what Mac says. This causes Mac, and the rest of the gang, to speculate over why Dennis is being like this. After Dennis orders Mac and Charlie to clean up the yuck puddle in the bathroom, Mac confides in Charlie, saying that he feels like Dennis has been acting distant towards him, he believes that Dennis is uncomfortable with him being gay and is trying to punish him for it, which Charlie disagrees with, because, duh, and says that it must be something else. Mac then theorizes that Dennis actually wants them to talk through their feelings because it’s Valentine’s Day, and that he’s entrusted Mac to do that because he’s a gay man, proceeding to reveal that he has a huge surprise for Dennis, which he feels Dennis is not emotionally available enough to receive at the moment. Later on, Mac brings the crate into the bar, and Dennis opens it to find that Mac’s gifted him an RPG for Valentine’s Day. This entire scene is a clear romantic gesture on Mac’s part, who gives Dennis the one thing he’s always wanted, despite also thinking (like the rest of the gang) that Dennis has no feelings and hates Valentine’s Day (he has also never given Dennis a Valentine’s Day gift prior to this moment). But as Dennis reveals in his most vulnerable moment on television, he does have feelings. Big feelings, at that. 10/10

A Cricket’s Tale: No. Nope. Nothing. Fuck this entire episode, actually, because not only does it completely drag down the quality of the whole season, it has no macdennis! Nothing! Can’t pull anything out of my ass, since this is technically set over the events of PTSDee and The Gang Tends Bar. The gang is barely in this too, and as I’ve implied, it just plain sucks. It’s the worst episode, and I might even go as far as to say that it’s the worst episode of the series. So Cricket, I love you, but fuck this episode for existing, and for creating a big drop in the macdennis momentum this season had going on. -4657348924385738492/10

Dennis’ Double Life: Apparently, Dennis and Mac had some bet to decide who got to redesign their old apartment, which Mac won. Very cute stuff, makes you trust, makes you think that this episode has got your back and isn’t going to stab you in the face, makes you think it makes up for the previous episode which will go unnamed. Cue Dennis having a son with Mandy, a girl he picked up under a fake identity back in North Dakota, and now he wants to get rid of her in case she tries to come after the bar for money. Mac and Dennis pretend to be a couple—or well, according to Dennis—two people who don’t have sex but are emotionally involved. Watching Mac be completely into pretending to be a couple with Dennis, claiming that they make love, bringing back lines from when they pretended to be a couple in season 5 (oh, those days), is equally heart breaking as it is heart wrenching. So it’s good, but also horrible, but also bad. After Mac enthusiastically volunteers to raise Mandy’s son as his other dad with Dennis, he wraps his arm around Dennis’ arm which is so sad because it all comes crashing down later. Mac tries to offer to sleep with Frank for $5,000 which Dennis stops because “you’re emotionally involved with me”, a strange thing to bring up because if Dennis can sleep with women whilst being in an emotional relationship with Mac, what’s stopping Mac from banging Frank for five grand? Jealousy (and some discomfort), that’s what. Also Mac claims that Dennis is his gimp. But at the end of the day, none of that matters, because Dennis up and leaves! He leaves Paddy’s, he leaves Mac, breaking his heart, my heart, and the entire state of Pennsylvania, probably. fuck u/10

#text #macdennis #iasip #its always sunny in philadelphia #THIS TOOK ME HOURS #ik it got real long for many of these episodes but uh #i hope yall like this? lmao #rated

[limitededitionsanderssidesblog]

Speech Impediment - Chapter 1

Sympathetic Deceit Week- Day 4: DLAMP

Ships: Logicality, pining-Prinxiety, platonic DLAMP

Summary: Deceit has gone through much of his life alone and being called a liar, all because of something he can’t help, but once he makes it to college he gets adopted as the little brother and son of a very strange group of friends without his permission. Going from life long outcast to being in a circle of friends is a little overwhelming, and not short of bizarre.

AO3 - Here

Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6

Dexter had always been seen as strange to those around him at school, in public, and even at home. Maybe it was due to his unnaturally golden eyes or his, as some might say, creepy fascination with snakes, he never knew the reason. Well whatever it was, it was the reason why Dexter was always left behind by the other kids. It wasn’t too troublesome for him though, Dexter liked the solitude and quite. Often times he’d spend hours upon hours alone in the library reading about murder and supernatural mysteries. During class he’d stick to his seat either reading a novel, or playing with his magic trick cards. Magic was one of the few things Dexter was ever good at, even though it wasn’t really a skill.

When he was about nine years old, Dexter grew a habit that still sticks with him even ten years later. He became a compulsive liar. It wasn’t as if he purposefully bent the truth to take advantage of others, it was more like a speech impediment. He would say the opposite of what he meant without meaning to, in fact it would take much more energy to speak ‘normally’ then it was to say it backwards. His parents took him to speech therapy and mental health therapy, but nothing worked, so his parents and teachers just learned to accommodate for him. The other students, not understanding his situation, took to calling him Deceit, a name Dexter did not mind. They poked fun and teased, but it was never anything serious, and Dexter never let it get to him.

This was how Dexter went through the entirety of elementary, middle, and even high school. Now he was standing in front his new University, nineteen years old, his mind set on becoming a novelist, and expecting nothing different. There were maybe hundreds, if not thousands, of other students around him lazing about in the grass and courtyard, almost all in their own little circles of close friends, none of them noticing Dexter. 

Not minding the lack of acknowledgement, Dexter continued though the campus and walked to one of the several boys’ dorms. Getting his key and room number he then headed to the stairs, never being a fan of elevators, and made his way for the third floor. Once there Dexter searched for his room number. 200. 201. 202. Ah, there it was, dorm room number 203. Dexter took out the small key he was given by the old man at the attendance desk and slipped it into the lock and opened the door. 

The room was empty, but on the left side there were partially unpacked suitcases and colorful pictures tacked to the wall. Dexter walked over to look at them and saw different photos of the same four guys. Two of them had glasses, one looking strict and stoic like a robot, and the other looking goofy and wild, another looked extremely emo, and the last looked like a prep. Under one of the pictures were words written in red sharpie saying: We’re famILY. Dexter smiled slightly at the picture and moved to what he assumed was his side of the room to unpack.

About an hour and a half of calm passed in near silence, save for the rowdy boys across the hall, and Dexter was nearly done. Half of the closet was filled with his coats and jackets; his dresser was organized by garment in both alphabetical and spectral order; and his bookshelf that he had shipped in ahead of time had been organized with all of his favorite books based on genre and height of the book. As of now he was setting up his snake’s, little Dee Dee, terrarium on top of his dresser.

Eventually a loud group of voices appeared in the hallway, but Dexter ignored them, thinking it was just more rowdy neighbors. But soon the sound of the door being unlock startled him into realizing that it was in fact his roomate who had at last arrived, and most likely his friends as well. Not ready or prepared to speak with anyone yet Dexter did the only thing he could think off. Run into the closet and hide in a dark and enclosed area like a snake. A mere second later, in walked there very same four people from the photos, talking loudly. Well, so much for his peace.

“Hey Patton, looks like you’re new roomate is here!” One enthusiastic and regal voice said.

“I wonder where he is.” Another, robotic, voice pondered.

“Bro, you can’t just assume it’s a guy.” A very sarcastic voice spoke.

“I can’t assume anything else either, we don’t know who Patton’s roomate is yet.” The robotic voice responded. “When they’re here they can notify us of their identification.”

Dexter thought this was the perfect time to pop out from his hiding place. Well no he didn't, but he was getting cramped and it would be even more embarrassing if they discovered him on their own.

“I’m not a guy.” He stated as he stepped out of the closet, earning him a chorus of screams. All four of them instantly turned to face him in surprise. The emo one sitting on ‘Patton’s’ bed, the prep sitting next to him, the robot standing near his bookshelf, and the goofy one standing in the center.

“What the fuck was that?” The emo one said, holding a hand over his chest, obviously more shaken up then the rest.

“Sorry.” Dexter apologized. “I wasn’t nervous when you all arrived.”

“Um, okay...” Said the emo.

“What’s you’re name kiddo?” The goofy glasses guy asked.

“It isn’t Dexter, but I don’t prefer Deceit.” He responded, cringing inwardly when he realized that he did it again, watching as the confusion grew on their faces. Really not wanting to come off as rude or weird, Dexter hastily followed up with an explanation. “Sorry, I don’t have a speech impediment where I don’t say the opposite of what I mean.”

For a good three heartbeats no one said anything, but instead just stared at him awkwardly. Dexter would love nothing more than for a meteor to fall to the earth and hit him right now, or maybe the floor would give out beneath him, anything to end this mess. However, as he was contemplating the quickest away to escape the dorm by means of a quick death, the one in the middle smiled brightly like a radiant sun, not at all put off by him.

“So it’s like opposite day on repeat? Wow! I’ve never heard of that before.” He said brightly.

“Yes, I’ve never heard of that speech disorder before either.” Said the robotic one skeptically.

“Uh, well it is very common.” Dexter told him.

“So Dexter-”

“Deceit.”

“-let me introduce myself and my friends. I’m Patton Sanders, the dad of the group. That’s my boyfriend Logan, the mom-”

“I am not the mom.”

“The one in the hoodie is our love child, Virgil-”

“Sup.”

“Don’t call him that.”

“-and that’s our dramatic son Roman.”Patton finished, practically jumping up and down in his spot, filled with excitement.

Dexter didn’t know exactly how to respond to their introduction. What do you say back to a group of friends who label each other as different rolls of an immediate family. He didn’t know if it was endearing or creepy. Maybe a sniper would have been a faster option.

Logan, noticing his discomfort, let out a heavy sigh and rested a heavy hand on his boyfriend’s shoulder. “Pat, I think you came off a bit too strong again.” He said in a soft, but lecturing tone. Patton was able to calm down slightly, but stilled rocked back and forth on his feet. “I apologize, I’m Logan Winchester, a physics major, Patton here is an art major.

“Virgil Black, majoring in music theory.” The emo joined in next, still sitting in a ball on the bed, curled like a cat.

“And I am Roman Sanchez, actor, singer, and future Disney prince.” The preppy looking one then finished the introductions.

Once again, Dexter didn’t how to respond to them. He already told them his name so what else could he say? His major was probably a normal human response, but they’d probably ask if they could read any of his work, and he’d just as soon drive a bus into the ocean then show them his horror stories. So, maybe he could ask a question and... Wait, how long has he been standing there not saying anything? Oh shit they probably think he’s a socially inept introvert, well he was but oh no their staring- say something! Anything!

“Are you all gay?” What the fuck was that?

“Bi actually.” Both Logan and Patton answered at the same time.

“I’m pan, Roman is the only gay one.” Virgil shared.

“Gayer than a unicorn eating skittles on a rainbow~” Roman then sang, resting his head on Virgil’s side giving the small, cat-like emo a seductive wink, to which he was promptly shoved off.

“How about you kiddo?” Patton asked, taking a seat on the floor and resting his back against his bed frame. Logan followed close behind and sat next to him, crossing his legs.

“I’m not asexual.”

The smile Patton had been wearing the entire time began to grow impossibly large until Dexter was sure that his cheeks would rip wide open. With absolutely no warning, the dad friend bounced up off the ground and bounded over and enveloped him in a bear hug, scaring no one except Dexter.

“That settles it, you’re now my son!” He cheered and spun them around in a small circle. The others looked on like this was nothing new, perhaps this was how all of them met Patton, but Dexter could have sworn he’d turn into a puddle of blushing, stuttering gibberish. To say that he was caught off guard and confused would be the single most largest understatement of Dexter’s whole lonely life.

“I-i’m y-y-you-your so- wha- huh???”

Little did he know that this big bunch of weirdos would be the best thing to ever happen to him.

.

.

Well here's my contribution to this week. Chapter 2 will be out on Day 7.

#sanders sides #patton sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #dlamp #logicality #prinxiety #sympathetic deceit week #sympathetic deceit #deceit sanders

[layce2015]

The Wolf Among Us (Bigby Wolf x Reader)

A Crooked Mile:

Chapter 3 (pt.1) Huff And Puff

The Tweedle Brother's Office

The Bronx

You walk in the office and saw a tall man in an orange jumpsuit and a frog hat, his red hair sticking out of, sweeping the floor. "Excuse me." You said as you walk up to him. The man jumps and turns to face you. "Oh, hi. Deputy (y/n)! Great--Great to see you. I don't know if you remember me...I've, uh, seen you around, but you may have forgotten--"

"I know who you are, Flycatcher. You've worked at the Woodlands for....how many years now?" You asked. "Heh. I think I've lost count." Flycatcher chuckles. "But you know Crane....uh, let me go....recently."

"Really?" You said, shocked, your eyebrow raised. "Yeah, I mean, it's no big deal....So....what brings you here? I mean can I help you with anything? Are you here to see one of the brothers?" Flycatcher asked you. "I was hoping to have a talk with Dee or Dum." You replied. "Do you know where they are?"

"No...they don't really keep regular hours as far as I can tell. Sorry. It's been a quiet night so far. I think the twins are out...Probably working on a case. Sometimes I don't see them for days." He replied. "They have me the job after Crane told me to get lost. He said I was just in the way."

"Why don't you take the night off?" You asked him. "That's nice of you, but...I can't. I still have to clean their office. I can let you in if you want. You can wait for them there...." Flycatcher said as he points to the door on the left, behind him. "Sure. Thanks." You said as you follow him. "No problem." He said as he opens the door.

You two walk in and noticed that the office was kinda weird looking. On the left side of the office was tan colored and very messing looking while the right side is gray and looked really clean and organized and two desk pushed against each other in the middle. "I'm gonna have to take a look around." You said to Flycatcher. "Uh....well, I guess that would be okay." He said, nervously. "I wasn't really asking for permission." You remarked. "Right. You're the Deputy. I just don't want to get in trouble or anything." He said as he walks in the office. "Don't worry, I won't get you in trouble, alright?" You said. "Right." He said, not convinced, and he begins to sweep up the office.

Over to the left next to the desk was some filling cabinets. You walk up to it and mutter. "Let's see if they've got a file on Crane." And you pull out the A-D drawer where there were some files but one of the caught your attention, Ichabod Crane. You pull out that file and saw a couple of papers. On the right was a list of money Crane owed to Crooked Man.

Debt to the Crooked Man/ Consolidated:

$1000 x 12 x 75

Current Payment Plan:

month-to-month

Items procured from the Business Office:

Warlock Fossil.              $3,000

Williams Enigmalith.      $400

Stone Footprint.              $3,500

Stone Books.                    $10,000

"He owes the Crooked Man money?" You said, shocked. "Shit. How was he planning to pay this all back?" Then you look to the left and saw another paper with Faith's picture attached to it 

Request for Property Acquisition 

Daily Task:

Find Compromising Photo.

$500 Bill 

Further details can be found under:

Donkeyskin

"Request for Property Acquisition.....further details filed under Donkeyskin." You read. "Crane hired them to look for a photo? Why did he want it back so badly?" You asked as you put the file back in the drawer. Then you pick up the file in the front, which has Beauty's name on it. The file showed her picture and a list of money she owed along with a small sticky note attached to it that said:

Georgie has an interest.

Wait till CM gives go ahead.

Put Squeeze.

"Beauty's in debt to the Crooked Man? Shit." You mutter as you set the file back into the drawer. Then you look in the back and found the Donkeyskin file. You pull it out and open it. There was another picture of Faith with a list under it 

Stole a photo from Crane (lovely!)

Find it at all costs

Easy Job

Possible Leads:

Her apartment 

Lawrence 

Woodsman

Lily

The hens at the Pudding N' Pie

"So that's why they were at her apartment....and the Woodsman's place." You said as put the file back. "Find anything?" Flycatcher asked. "Not what I need." You replied as you close the cabinet. "I know these guys can come off....abrasive at times, but they aren't so bad once you get to know them. And they really care about helping people. They're kind of loud, at times. But you get used to it." Flycatcher said as he continues to sweep. "How do you mean, they help people?" You asked him. "They're detectives. Anyone can come in here with a problem and they'll do their best to fix it. The way Dee explains it....it's like if someone at their cat, they could hire them to, you know, track it down. Or like sometimes....they get packages for people....they can be like couriers, you know?" He said.

"For who?" You asked.

"All kinds." He replied. "Come to think of it, I don't really know where they keep them....anyways, I'm just saying... you just don't know them like I do."

"Sure, Flycatcher." You grumble, shrugging. You walk over to the desk on the right side and noticed a box of cigars but with it was a small key. "You know about this?" You asked as you hold up the key. "Nuh....no." He replied, quickly. You roll your eyes as you see an inbox with a letter inside of it. You pick it up and began to read it. 

Dear Brother Dee,

I think we should get ourselves a dog 

Sincerely,

Brother Dum

"He actually mailed this?" You asked, confused. "They do have their quirks." Flycatcher replied. "This is pointless." You muttered, annoyed. "See, I knew you wouldn't find anything. Anything of interest, anyways....They're detectives. Like I said." Flycatcher said. "I haven't found anything yet." You said.

"I'm just saying--"

"Look, just trust me on this. Tweedle Dee and Dum are not nice, they're not helping anyone." You said. "Well, they helped me." He said. "Okay, great, they helped you. That's one person. Now....please, just...let me concentrate here." You said and you see the inbox on the other desk with another letter in it.

Dear Brother Dum,

I hate dogs and you know it!

Sincerely,

Brother Dee

"Couple of freaks." You muttered, angrily. "Wh---what i---what if you're wrong about them?" Flycatcher asked you as he stops sweeping. "I'm not." You replied. "They're misunderstood, sure. But that doesn't mean everything people say about them is true. I mean, you know, like when I think about it, you, Bigby and the twins aren't that different. You and Bigby help people....and they help people...not that it's any of my business, but...."

"Is that what you think?" You asked him, angrily.

"(Y/N)...?"

"Shit!" You muttered. "There's something here, I know there is, there has to be."

"Why would there be anything to--"

"Because they're lying to you, okay, Flycatcher? That's why. They aren't detectives! They shot at Bigby and my sister!" You shouted, angrily. At that point you felt a searing pain go through your head and everything began to go black and you start to fall forward. Luckily, Flycatcher caught you before you hit the floor. You groan and shake your head slight as you vision comes back. "(Y/N), what happened to you..." he asked you as he helps you stand up. You rub the back of your head then glared at Flycatcher. "You wanna know what this is?" You said as you pointed at your head. "This is them showing up to Lily's funeral with fucking shotguns and throwing me against a concrete pilar!"

"I--I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I--I didn't know..." he said, slightly scared. "And it doesn't matter if they're really good at hiding their shit. But they're involved, alright! In all of this! Do you get it now?" You said, still angry. Flycatcher looks down, feeling horrible, and your anger fade away as you see the sad look on his face. "I didn't mean to..." you said, calming down, as Flycatcher walked past you to the other side of the room and points at the other filing cabinet.

"There's a door behind this file cabinet. I don't know what they keep back here, but....it might be what you're looking for. That key you found should work." He replied. You look at him then pulled the key out of your pocket. You walk over to the cabinet and see a key lock under the shelves but above the drawers. You insert the key and turn it. There was a click and you pulled the side and it opened like a door. Inside, you only see a flight of stairs that leads down to the left. You and Flycather glance at each other before both of you go down the stairs. 

In the room was full of shelves that carried boxes and packages. A work bench was off to the side with a scale and a phone. "Woooowww." Flycatcher mutters as he walks up behind you. You walk to the shelf on the left and noticed an instant coffee can, with a label that said Crooked Man, and grabbed it and open it. Inside of the can was a note and a roll of cash. The note said:

I'm sorry. I know I'm late. Trust me. I'm working on the rest of it. I'll get it to you soon, I promise.

Sincerely,

Ichabod Crane.

"Who was he sending money to?" Flycatcher asked you after you read the note aloud. "Crooked Man." You replied him then see another side note. "Care of the Lucky Pawn? Do you know what that is?" You asked him, who shrugs. You pocket the money and set the can back on the shelf then look through the shelf.

"Is that what you needed?" Flycatcher asked. "I don't think so, but it's interesting. There's more going on here. I still need to find the witch though." You replied. "What are you looking for exactly? Maybe I can help." He said as he tries to look through the shelves. "Anything about Crane...or the witch he was using. Something." You said and you pick up another coffee can that had a tape over the lid that had Butcher written on it. "What is this stuff?" You asked and, once again, Flycatcher shrugs.

You look at the bottom shelf and see a package with the label that said J.D. on it. You set it down then see a really small compact package and you pick it up. "Hey....(y/n).....do you think, after all this....do you think I could come back to the Woodlands? Since crane let me go....I mean, I can still work here, but....I don't think I want to now. I don't want to work with bad people, you know?" Flycatcher said.

"Well, Crane is gone now....I can't see why you couldn't come back to The Woodlands." You replied. "Really, that would be....Thank you!" He said, appreciatively. "Come by the Business Office. I can't make any promises." You informed. "Right. Of course." He said, smiling. You open the little package and saw a strand of (h/c) hair. You gasped and said. "It's my hair."

"Your hair? Why w--"

"We found my hair like this inside Lily's glamour." You said and you see a name label on the lid of the package. "Aunty Greenleaf. This must be the witch Crane was using." 

"I guess Dee and Dum were getting your hair for Crane and sending it to her?" Flycatcher said, questionably. "That's not a pleasant thought."

"There's no address on it." You said as you look through the package. "So--So what now?" Flycatcher asked. "I should tell Snow about this. Maybe she can find a record on this Aunty Greenleaf....unless Bigby found something at the Trip Trap." You said. "I think I saw a phone over there." Flycatcher said as he points at the desk. You smile at Flycatcher and said. "Thanks." And you pick up the phone and dial up the Business Office. "You're welcome, Deputy." Flycatcher replied. 

"Business Office, this is Snow White." Snow greeted in a slightly annoyed tone. "Hey, Snow." You said. "Oh, it's you." She said in relief. "Sorry, I've been answering angry phone calls for hours. People want to know where Crane is. How'd it go with the Tweedle Brothers?" 

"No address, but I got a name for Crane's witch. Aunty Greenleaf. You heard of her?" You asked. "No....I'll get Bufkin started looking for her record, but it might take sometime." Snow said.

"Have you heard from Bigby?" You asked her. "Not yet. He should already be at the Trip Trap. I'll try to call him there, if I get time." She replied.

"And Snow...I found a note with some money attached. Crane has been embezzling from Fabletown." You informed. She let's out a sigh and said. "Of course. Because why half-ass being a complete sleazeball. Do you think this is tied to the murders?" 

"I think it's connected. Maybe the girls found out about it? I don't know." You said. "Mmmm, maybe..." Snow mutters. "I'll head back to the Office so that we can wait to see if Bigby has found anything." You said. "Okay." She mutters and you hang up the phone and began to head out.

#fandom #fanfic #fan fiction #reader insert #x reader #bigby wolf #bigby wolf imagine #bigby wolf x reader #sheriff bigby #the wolf among us #twau #twau bigby

[soybeantree]

be careful what you wish for - epilogue

excerpt: “’Are you feeling alright, hyung?“ JB asked, eying her. Hyung? Why was he calling her, hyung? “Like I said we’re leaving in 10 minutes. You need to be ready.” He eyed her again before walking back out, closing the door behind him. What the hell was going on? She ran a hand threw her hair and nearly screamed. Her hair was gone! She jumped out of the bed and nearly tumbled over. Her body felt awkward, and she had to focus on moving her legs as she made her way to the bathroom. She flicked on the light, and this time she did scream. “What the-” She clamped a hand over her mouth. That wasn’t her voice. That wasn’t her face staring back at her. Hyung made sense now. JB only had one Hyung in Got7. Mark.”

pairing: erm…ofc/mark, ofc/jinyoung, markjin…kind of parts: o1 | o2 | o3 | o4 | o5  genre/rating: LITERALCRACK! fluff. word count: 1.2k+ a/n: these wonderful markjin gifs are not ours.

“I didn’t miss my boobs. It was nice having a flat chest. I didn’t have to wear a bra or worry about my boobs chaffing because I wasn’t wearing a bra. It made me seriously consider getting a boob reduction.” Dee regretted ever asking Jay to tell her what it was like in Mark’s body. During the taxi ride to the airport, Jay had talked about normal things like the photo shoot, getting hair and make-up done, screaming fans. The minute they got out of the car, and they no longer had an audience, Jay had busted out the weird. “I did miss my vagina. I never thought I’d miss my vagina, but I did. Having a penis is not fun. It’s this extra flab of skin that just hangs there.” Jay gestured to her crotch. “And it moves, on its own. You’re just minding your own business and then it just starts moving, and you’re just like ‘what the hell? What’s going on? Why are you moving? Did I miss something?’. No, I didn’t miss anything. It just felt like moving.”

Dee stopped, pulling her suitcase up behind her. “Would you please stop talking about vaginae, and penises, and boobs? We are in a public place.” 

Jay halted and backtracked to her friend, giving her an apologetic smile. “Sorry, too much?” “Too much.” “I will try to reign it in, but I can’t promise anything. It’s probably going to be a while before I’m over everything that happened, and until then things are just going to spill out.” “I think it’ll be a while before we’re both over this.” “I think it’ll be a while before all three of us are over this.” The girls stared at each other. ‘Mark’ Dee mouthed, and Jay nodded her head. They turned at the same moment, and sure enough Mark Tuan was standing a few feet away from them. “Mark!” Jay squealed and rushed the boy throwing her arms around him. The force knocked Mark back a step, but he managed to stay upright. He wrapped his arms around Jay, letting loose a chuckle. “I get to hug you because I was in your body, so this isn’t weird.” He chuckled again. Jay pulled away as Dee came up behind them. “How are you feeling?” Dee asked. “A little weird still. When I woke up this morning, I thought I’d hit my head and dreamed yesterday, but then I saw your message.” They had sent a text to Mark before they left for the airport, apologizing for all the trouble they caused and wishing him well. “After everything we went through, you two were just going to leave without saying goodbye?” The look in Mark’s eyes left Dee breathless. For the first time, she was facing Mark Tuan in Mark Tuan’s body, and she could not handle it. Jay, however, seemed to have no problem facing him. “Here’s the thing Mark. We had no idea which hospital you were in, even if we were able to figure out which hospital you were in there was no way your manager was going to let us near you - I know this man now. There is no way. - , and we couldn’t miss our plane because we’re both poor which means we would be stranded here begging on the streets for money to buy a new plane ticket.” Mark nodded along as Jay went off on her tangent, and when she finished, he turned to Dee. “I now understand how you knew I wasn’t her.” Dee gave a defeated sigh and nodded. Jay pointed between the two. “Both of you are rude.” “If I’m so rude, then I guess I don’t need to give you Jinyoung’s number.” Mark smirked. “I’m sorry what were you saying about Jinyoung’s number?” “He visited me this morning. Apparently, he figured out that you weren’t me and confronted you about it.” Jay nodded. “What?” Dee’s mouth went wide. “Here you are telling me about boobs and vaginae, but you leave out that crucial piece of information?” “I’m going to be honest I blocked it out.” Dee slapped Jay, reveling in the fact that she could once again hit her friend without hurting Mark. Rubbing her shoulder, Jay faced Mark again. “Jinyoung’s number?” “You couldn’t stay focused at all yesterday when we were trying to switch back, but this you can focus on?” Jay shrugged which made Mark chuckle. “He asked me to give you his number because you made a promise to explain everything to him, and he intends to hold you to that promise.” The promise, she had almost forgotten it. Mark gave her a slip of paper with strict instructions to destroy it after she copied the number into her phone. Walking off a bit, Jay added the number, taking a little longer than necessary, so her friend could have a few moments alone with the true Mark. “You really have to go?” Dee nodded. “Like Jay said if we miss our flight, we’ll be begging on the streets.” He chuckled, and Dee had to remind herself to breath. “Will you be coming back?” While she wanted to say ‘yes’, she didn’t want to make a promise she couldn’t keep. Both she and Jay loved South Korea and had talked about their next visit to the country several times during their trip. The truth though was that it was miracle they had been able to come this time. They had planned and saved for the trip for over a year. There was no way to know when or if they would be able to come back. Mark must have seen something in her eyes because he said, “I hope you do, and next time we can spend the day together with both of us in our actual bodies.” He smiled, and she wanted to believe there would be a next time and that they would get to spend the day together, but practicality was deeply rooted in her soul. However, she had no desire to dim the light in the beautiful boy’s eyes. “I look forward to it.” She needed to get away from Mark before her heart broke. She turned to get Jay’s attention and froze. Mark’s hands wrapped around her wrist and pulled her back towards him. He leaned in and placed a kiss on her cheek. “Until next time.” He smiled. His hands slowly slipped from her wrist as a chill raced up her arm. He bowed his head before walking over to where Jay stood, pretending not to watch everything that had happened. “Goodbye, Jay. Please try not to make anymore wishes.” “Believe me. I have learned my lesson.” She smiled before pulling Mark in for another hug. “Take care, Mark.” He squeezed her. “You too.” And with that he walked back to where his manager was standing. Jay glared at the man, and now that she was back in her body her glare had all its potency. The man squirmed under her gaze, and she smirked in triumph. “Please stop scaring people. We’re going to be late for our flight.” Dee walked past her, her suitcase rolling behind her. Jay gave the man one final glare before trotting after her friend. “Would it really be that bad if we missed it?” “You were the one talking about begging on the streets.” “That was an exaggeration. I do that, remember? I think you got too used to Mark being in my body. You forgot about all my quirks.” Dee snorted, but Jay knew she had failed in lifting her friend’s spirit. Walking up beside her, Jay slung an arm over her shoulders. “Don’t worry, Dee. We’ll be back.”

<- part 5

#hmw #igot7 #igot7 drabbles #got7 #gpt7 drabbles #got7 imagines #got7 scenarios #aghase #mark tuan #mark tuan drabbles #park jinyoung #jyp #park jinyoung drabbles #markjin #be careful what you wish for #im jaebum #bambam #jackson wang #kim yugyeom #choi youngjae #crack!fic

[ofrosaspina]

How It Began — Darcy and Jae

How Darcy and Jae ( @a-crack-in-the-marble​) first met. Written over Discord. 

Darcy written by myself (obviously) Jae written by T (@a-crack-in-the-marble)

Jae-

Jae was annoyed. He had to find a photographer for the shoot he was directing but they were all shit. They all claimed to be fucking visionaries but it was the same old photos of girls with ball gowns and jean jackets… fucking original… Of course he charmed all of the photographers, lead them on. ‘Your portfolio really has that extra something we’re looking for.’… ‘ it’s too early to say but I think you’re the best candidate we’ve interviewed,’... It was all utter bullshit. Jae was fucking with every single last one of them. They were all shit. He walked up and down the street, smiling sweetly at everyone he passed, men and women alike seemed to swoon. It was all very boring. He wanted to get a rise out of someone. He vaguely considered getting drunk right in the street just to see if he could get away with it, but that too was boring… been there done that. He flopped down onto a park bench, sitting on was was unmistakably a portfolio. He opened it without a second thought. Clearly whoever left it was fucking stupid and got what they deserved. He opened the portfolio and started to flip through. He was considering dumping it in the garbage three towns over but the images intrigued him. Fire. Lots of fire. He grinned. This was the kind of photographer he wanted.

Darcy-

He had to leave quickly. Too quickly. He supposed the police didn’t like that he was setting fire to things in the park, pouring gas on statues, and water fountains and setting them ablaze. They made for beautiful pictures however, and Darcy truly and honestly couldn’t help himself. He had circled the park twice in search of his perfect models, and took over twenty polaroids before he had to flee. Unfortunately, his little black portfolio had been left on a bench. Darcy was annoyed if anything, and had to wait for the police to clear out before he could go retrieve it.

Darcy had this thing for fire. Thing being a light term, it was more of a complete obsession. It was clear with the hundred or so pictures in the portfolio. Nothing he passed by wasn’t scorched. It was beauty. It was grace, Darcy loved the look of flames crawling up a wilting creature. There was a quiet judgement about it. He had so much power when he held his zippo in his palm. Like he could control any situation that came to him. It gave him purpose.

The young man was mildly disturbed.

He was well aware. Everyone around him was aware.

It was then, mid thought, that Darcy came back to that bench he had left, horrified that someone had his portfolio in hand. How dare they—

Darcy-

Darcy hummed low in his throat, "Ayo! Asshole!" He snapped, storming up to the stranger, and snatching the portfolio from his hands, "The fuck you doing with this?"

Jae-

Jae looked up, only letting his surprise show in a quick flash before he smiled slowly at the guy standing on front of him. "Hello there," he spoke low and slow, a combination he knew few could resist. "Your work is quite...impressive,".  He drew his gaze up and down the other.

Darcy-

Darcy just scoffs and tucks his work into his bag, sneering in the man's direction, "Yeah, I'd say thanks, but fuck you and your condescending face." He shoves his hands in his pockets, fiddling anxiously with his lighter, "Forget you saw anything."

Jae-

Jae's interest was immediately sparked... someone not so easily charmed. "Which one is it going to be, fuck me and my condescending face... or forget I saw anything?". He stood, shifting his body slightly toward the other guy. "I'm jae." He grinned.

Darcy-

Dark hues narrowed dangerously, fingers flexing around the cool metal of the lighter. He didn't do polite conversation, but neither did this man it seemed. He takes a step away as this stranger, Jae, shifts closer to him, "You're a Grade A piece of shit arent you? You have a real nice smile, but dude your eyes scream asshole..." he pauses, "Darcy--"

Jae-

Jae's eyes widened the tiniest bit. Usually all it took was a smile and his presence and people all but fell at his feet. Hell... sometimes they did fall down to his feet. His smile only grew. He needed this photographer. "Darcy," the name lingered on his lips. "I'd say you have a nice smile too but I haven't had the pleasure... yet."

Darcy-

His lip twitched the slightest bit, but it was just that. A twitch. He just sighs, "Save it." Darcy grumbles, and turns on his heels, worn sneakers carrying him a few steps away from the other, "Next time, don't touch what isn't yours, got it? Learn some Goddamn manners or some shit..."

Jae-

"My manners are impeccable. I could show you over dinner some time..." he blatantly followed Darcy. "Or... you could let me hire you as the photographer for a photo shoot I'm directing tomorrow."

Darcy-

He could hear Jae following him and that alone made his tremble ache slightly. This guy was insufferable, but hell he was persistent. Darcy continues to walk, annoyed, "Why the hell would I wanna do either of those things." He glances toward the street where cops were talking. Fuck. He turns lifting a brow, "You're awful you know that? Do like bugging strangers this much?"

Jae-

"Nope. Only you." He walked shoulder to shoulder with Darcy. "I think I could probably make it worth your while," he winked. Jae actually winked. Normally that would make any fucking normal person throw themselves at him. "I think your particular talents Re what the shoot needs." Jae followed Darcy's eyes to the cops nearby. He smiled slyly.

Darcy-

Darcy notices the wink, "Did a big fly into your re just then?" He almost sounds amused, but doesn't let on that he is mildly interested. He notices that Jae is eyeballing the police and his heart leaps into his throat, "How much does it pay?" Ducking his head a the two officers spot them, "Will you leave me alone if I agree?"

Jae-

"It'll pay however much you want," he shrugged. Like he fucking cared about the money. He just wanted Darcy. Jae caught Darcy avoiding the police officer's' gaze, and smiled wickedly. "I'm unlikely to leave you alone. You've sparked my interest Darcy." Jae walked straight up the two officers. "Hello gentleman. Can we help you?," his smile was sickly sweet.(edited)

Darcy-

Darcy was mildly horrified as Jae brushed passed him and up to the two officers, he couldn't breathe. He turns and immediately grabs ahold of the back of Jae's shirt with a threatening amount of force. He couldn't run though, he just kept close and ducked his head, "Ah yes, we’re looking for an individual who was setting fires in this park.   " they look at Darcy, "Have either of you seen anything?"(edited)

Jae-

Jae felt Darcy grab his shirt and he casually reached his hand back and grabbed hold of the other's hand with an innocent smile. "Setting fires in the park?," he cocked his head to the side with mock concern. "How awful!," he shook his head, playing the part of concerned citizen. The cops ate it up. Fucking idiots. Not even a challenge at this point. "We didn't see anything. We just met up a few moments ago to go have dinner together," he smiled and flicked his eyes to their hands.

Darcy-

Darcy was going to vomit. Seriously. He felt the bile burning in the back of his throat as Jae laced their fingers together in such an innocent fashion. He's rigid as the officers glare down at him. He hated this. Hated every moment of this. His breathing is quick, but he grits his teeth, "Is that right, son? You two just got here? I could have sworn I've seen you around." Darcy curses quietly. "No. Just got here." his answer is clipped and defensive. He was going to get arrested. He knew it.

Jae-

"Oh! you probably have seen him around. I direct a lot of photoshoots for a lot of the local fashion brands...Dee here photographs them for me and i've even convinced him to model a couple times so you've probably seen him in some of the magazine releases," he smiled at the officers. He knew better than to give them Darcy's name and he also knew it was unlikely they knew a fucking thing about fashion. "Now if you don't mind excusing us officers, we're a little late to our dinner reservations," he gave the men one last smile before tugging Darcy along with him down the street.

Darcy-

Dee? Fucking Dee? Absolutely fucking not. What a hideous nickname. Hell, this guy shouldn't even be touching him, and now he was acting like they were fucking. Sure, Darcy understood why he was doing it, but he didn't need to be protected. He had two feet, and he was quick. He could run and get out of town in a flash, but Jae was insisting to get in the middle. The officers just smiled and apologized for keeping them, and Darcy wanted to turn himself in. He'd rather be in jail at this point. He waits until they round the corner before yanking out of Jae's hand, "Fuck you." Darcy snarls, shoving him by the shoulders, "Who the hell do you think you are? Does it look like I need your fuckin' help man? I'm not a charity case, and I sure as shit don't need you protecting me like that."(edited)

Jae-

Jae smirked at the other. "I don't think you need my help...in fact I know that you don't. people who burn shit for fun don't often need help from others." He allowed himself to be shoved a little, starting right into Darcy's eyes. "But isn't it fun to fuck with people who are more weak-willed than us?," the gleam in his eyes was wicked. Darcy was different, he wasn't blind and ready to bend to Jae's every whim. Jae instantly liked this about him.

Darcy-

Darcy huffs, crossing his arms over his chest, palming his lighter as he did so. He constantly had it on him, it was like a child with their favorite teddy bear. It was a comfort mechanism. It was a pacifier. His thumb smooths over the metal, "You're twisted dude..." Darcy is quiet for a moment, "If the offer still stands I'll do that fuckin' shoot tomorrow. I want payment upfront. Cash not Check. I also want lunch." His brow lifts, "That won't be any trouble now will it?" he challenges. He didn't need anyone, that much was true, but Jae was interesting to say the least, so he didn't mind playing along a little. It was very rare for him to want to be around another human being. This was an anomaly.  "Oh, and call me Dee again and I'll make sure to set your car on fire next."

Jae-

Jae's eyes flicked to where Darcy played with the lighter. It was an odd habit, but it seemed to suit Darcy. "Excellent," he smirked. "And to think I was considering letting you off the hook for a dinner... Lunch will do and cash up front is no problem," rising easily to Darcy's challenge. He didn't care how much Darcy wanted. He'd pay it. "Did you want me to give them your real name instead?," he questioned.  "By the way...setting fires in parks?... I think I did you a favor by finding your portfolio before the cops did."

Darcy-

Darcy knew Jae was right. That he could have just given the cops his first name, but didn't. Still. The man before him was sparking a fire in Darcy. It wasn't often that he allowed himself to get this chatty with a stranger. Though, here he was. He heaves a troubled sigh, "Fuck off. I'm not normally not this fucking careless. It's just not my lucky day." Darcy eyes him up and down, "Clearly." The blonde pushes his free hand through his hair, "I guess I'll see you tomorrow then. I wanna get this shit show over with, then we can continue on with our lives."

Jae-

"Maybe it was fate? Ya know 'you're going to meet a tall, handsome stranger', type deal?" Jae met Darcy's eyes as they skimmed him up and down. "Like what you see?," he smirked. "Give me your phone number and i'll text you the address... although I think i'd like your number regardless," he mused, blatantly trying to flirt and charm the other. "you say that now, but i'll bet you'l be begging me to bring you to lunch again after you see me at work."

Darcy-

Darcy wasn't amused by the disgusting display of flirting, and he sure as hell didn't want to give him his phone number. He pulls out a old, shitty flip phone. It had a crack on the left side,a few scorch marks on the back, and it looked like it was ready to completely fall apart. He couldn't afford something nice than this. So, if Jae wanted to call him out on it. So be it. "You can't text me, so just call and keep it quick." he mutters out, scoffing, "You're pretty repulsive. I don't know if I'll be able to keep my food down if I'm honest." Darcy despite all his complaining reads off his phone number.

Jae-

"You wound me Darcy," he said as if the comments had hurt him. He typed the number into his phone smiling to himself. "Id say I grow on people but truthfully I don't normally have to work this hard to charm people." Jae had every intention of continuing though.

Darcy-

"I can see why you'd normally not have a problem, but I've been around people like you. People who can twist and manipulate other with ease..." Darcy pauses, tucking his phone back into his pocket, "I see right through you, Jae. You don't scare me, and you sure as hell don't have me charmed." Though, to be honest, Darcy was actually enjoying himself. Despite how his face might look.

Jae-

Darcy knew just what to say to get under his skin and Jae loved it, loved the challenge of it all. "I'm not trying to scare you... I guess I'll just have to work harder to charm you though," he sighed dramatically.

Darcy-

Darcy's quiet for a long moment, sighing eventually and turning away from Jae. "Right...I guess I'll see you tomorrow then."

Jae-

"Looking forward to it," he winked at Darcy again.

Darcy-

Darcy woke up to a phone call and a location. An hour later he was standing awkwardly in the middle of a gaggle of models who stood at least a head taller than him. His blonde hair flicked in the wind, "So, is this a bridal shoot then?" Darcy asks with an annoyed tone. It was all to clean and white. Boring. "Why did you think I'd be a good fit for this?"

Jae

Jae smiled and sauntered up to Darcy as soon as he saw him enter the room.  He shrugged at Darcy's comment. "Not my first choice either, that's why I wanted a photographer who could bring something different to the shoot." He glanced around at the room full of flowers. "Do you think you can handle that?" He smirked, leaning towards the other slightly

Darcy-

He leaned away as Jae came closer, holding his camera with sweaty hands. There were too many people. He didn't think this through. He could have easily blown this off. Why did he even come? "Yeah. I can handle it. Don't worry about it. I know what I'm doing."

Jae-

"Okay then. Let's get started," he flashed Darcy a smile and turned to address the room. Immediately his voice was authoritative but also silky smooth, drawing everyone in. "This is Darcy, he's going to photographing our lovely models." He gestured to the other. He pointed to one of the models, the tallest one with long black hair and wide eyes,"you... I want you on the couch in the middle of the flowers, please dear. He cocked his head a little and grinned, "be good for our new friend here and get some pretty shots." He stood back to watch.

Darcy-

Darcy watched with a stoic face, jaw set and eyes cold, and distant. The models smiled at him, but he could tell they were a little uncomfortable. He got right to work, quietly instructing the model into different poses, but despite the pictures looking gorgeous-- Darcy wasn't feeling it.

Jae-

Jae watched the shoot, allowing Darcy to take control, but something felt off. He needed to stir up some shit to get this moving. He walked up behind Darcy, "mind if I look at the photos?," his voice was polite and lacking his normal confident charm. He wanted to throw Darcy off, he wanted to get a rise from him.

Darcy-

Darcy blinks, startled by the man's appearance behind him, "Go for it..." he moves to flip through the photos on the camera, but for some reason he felt nervous, "Well?"

Jae-

"Hmmm...," Jae stared at the photos. They were good in the technical definition... better than actually, but they weren't what he was looking for, not what he was expecting from the guy who set fires in the park. "I think they're still missing something. What do you think, Dee?" He was trying to piss Darcy off a little. He wanted to see the same spark he saw yesterday.

Darcy-

Darcy physically twitches as Jae spoke, tearing his camera out of the man's sight, and hugging indignantly, "Don't fucking call me that, and what the hell could be missing?" Some of the models were beginning to shy away from the two as Darcy's tone became tight, "I'm working with what I got--"

Jae-

"Dee seems fitting for now. I think Darcy had a lot more fire in him," he practically purred at the other. "My models are the best around," he said it sweetly, but he knew they weren't. Models just had the fucking worst confidence and he really didn't feel like dealing with them. "What do you need to make these photos spark? I'm willing to try anything," his tone suggestive as he smirked at Darcy.

Darcy-

Darcy shoved passed Jae, "Fuck off." He snarls and points at one of the models, directing her to lay back on one of the sofas, and had her fluff the dress to the side. She looked terrified, and he could see a little shine in her eyes, "Good." He snaps, " Move to the left a little. Good. Pout a little." He just wanted to get this over with.

Jae-

He watched closely...these would be better but still not quite what Jae had imagined. He just needed to push the other a tiny bit more. "I wanted more spark, not crying models," he clicked his tongue in mock disapproval. He didn't really care if the models cried or not. He walked right up to the photographer and stood just behind him, whispering so only Darcy would hear him, "Where's the Darcy I met last night...the one ready to burn the whole park down?... that's the Darcy I want," his voice was low a just a little breathy. He was determined to test out all his normal tricks on Darcy, curiously watching for his reaction.

Darcy-

Hearing the voice behind him made his heart jump into his throat, and out of pure adrenaline he spun around and socked Jae right in the mouth. His fist ached, "Why the fuck did you hire me?" Darcy snarled, "Are you fucking with me?" He laughs dryly, shaking his head as he storms away. Without a second thought his lighter was out. If he wanted passion and fire...Darcy would give him fire. The flame licked the flowers, and spread quick.

Jae-

People immediately ran to jae and he waved them off. His hand rubbed against his jaw but he couldn't help but smile. that had certainly never happened before. He couldn't help but be amused. He let Darcy walk off the set, eyes going wide as the flames engulfed the flowers around the model. She started to run but Jae was there in an instant. "Stay. For the love of all things fucking holy, stay. He stepped up to the model, knowing he had a limited about of time before sprinklers went off. "Okay honey, lift your hand up, towards the flame, tuck your legs to the side up on the couch and let the dress hang over the edge. Chin up and slightly away from the fire. Just stare straight ahead. Do that and I'll let you take the diamond earrings home," his voice dripped like  honey. He chased after Darcy. "You're going to want to see this Darcy! Please just come take this shot. One shot. Everything is up and flames and it's calling to you, I know it is." His voice was slightly more urgent, his usual lazy tone gone. This was the shot he needed. Out of fire, Darcy created beauty.

Darcy-

Darcy was shaking. He was heading toward the door, the chaos ensuing behind him making his heart hammer against his chest. He so bad wanted to spin on his toes and watch the entire venue go up in flames, but he knew the police would soon be called, and he had to get out of here. Unless of course, he wanted to be sitting in jail for the next ten years. Which, no, he did not. So, he was out of there. It wasn't until he heard that irritating voice once again, begging, yes, Jae sounded like he was begging him to come take the shot. Darcy was confused, rightly so, but the flames were so pretty. smoke billowed up toward the ceilings, and with one nod he sprinted back over with his camera. He didn't say anything, he just lined up the shot and took a handful of photos of the terrified model. Then, the alarms were going off, and the sprinkler system was set off. Everything was soaked in seconds, Darcy's waterlogged clothes pulling his shoulders down. He was entranced, completely by the sight of the flowers fizzling out. He could feel the tears dripping down his cheeks, and he was just thankful that no one could tell with the sprinklers.

Jae-

Jae watched in awe as Darcy worked. He was entirely different with the flames creeping dangerously all around. He could see it in the way he stood, the way he focused, and in the way his body seemed to mimic the fluid beauty of the flames. It was all incredibly dangerous and mind-bogglingly alluring. Jae stood silent and speechless as the sprinklers drenched them all. People panicked around him, running to protect all the expensive, useless things. Jae walked up to Darcy, keeping his distance for once. He smiled genuinely at Darcy, a rare sight indeed. "That was the spark I was looking for Darcy."

Darcy-

Darcy felt like he was being physically pulled out of his body when Jae spoke, clearly shaken by the events, but he's quick to pull himself together. That is, until he sees that smile. It wasn't like before. It wasn't that look that made Darcy want to drown the man in the nearest bathtub, no, the smile was — Nice. It made his skin crawl. "Fuck you..." but this time, there was no malice in those words. No, instead, Darcy tips his head back letting the water wash over his flushed face, and he laughed. He just couldn't help himself. Who in their right mind would encourage Darcy's behaviour? Clearly Jae had a few screws loose. He liked that.

Jae-

Jae could do little but stare as Darcy's head tilted back, chin high in the air. The other's laugh sent shivers up his spine, the sound intoxicating. He barely registered the water running off his own face. Everything about Darcy was different, he didn't fit any mold that Jae had cataloged in his brain. He didn't respond to his presence like everyone else around him did, and he wanted more of Darcy's biting remarks. He was bored with people, they never could keep up with him, but Darcy clearly could. Soon the flames were extinguished and people were looking to him for guidance. He looked at one of his assistants stating flatly, and without his usual charm, "fucking handle it." He turned to Darcy, "Lunch?," he asked softly.

#long post #|| this fucker — jae || #|| about || #a-crack-in-the-marble #indie rp #indie krp #open rp

[imagine-those-skaters]

What if yurio , phitchit and victor were texting there crush and there crush said something really cute or a really cute selfie and they just got completely flustered and just mt and don't respond so someone replys to there crush for them because they haven't sent anything back in like ten minutes and the person who responds basically just embarrasses them more by saying that they got really flustered (sorry if this doesn't make sense

Ah, it’s been such a hectic week what with it being the beginning of a new semester, but I’ve been feeling so down, and this is so cute, I really just have to do this. I’ll do my best, darling, I think I get the gist of it!

-’yuri!!! yuri, im @ the pet shelter atm and there’s this wonderful grouchy kitty that reminds me of u look look look’-You ruthless cutie you-Yurio already can’t handle you-He was just texting you during his break, with a small serene smile on his face-Just leanin against the railing of the rink, doing some leg exercises -The creases between his eyebrows are practically non-existent, you make him so happy-It’s the sweetest thing-But the minute you send that text, he stands up straight as if he’s been whipped across the back-Oh no-Yuri looks over his phone to see Mila, smiling sllyly down at him-”Who are you texting, Yuriii?” she croons-fuCK OFF I WAS HAVING A GOOD TIME, WITCH-he tries to ignore her, hunches his shoulders and is just about to message you back when you send a selfie-holy shit if you didn’t kill him before, then you damn well did now-There you were, a big delighted smile on your face, with the most crotchety looking cat on your lap, leaning against your hand that was petting it’s head-Yuri wheezes, this boi literally fuckin WHEEZES, and leans over, clutching his chest-he’s like the old man meme

-that one-Mila blinks, chuckling, before taking his phone in his weakened state to see what’s gotten him in such a ti--oh my god-Even she’s enraptured in the fucking ADORABLENESS that your selfie is-meanwhile you’re waiting eagerly for your boyfriend’s reply, which… is taking a while….-A half hour damn near passes before you get a text-”Hi, Y/N, this is Georgi. I must say your selfie is very sweet and cute. I can’t handle it, but you know, Yuri is the one who can’t handle it the most. He’s currently wailing with Mila over how adorable you are! Haha.”-fucker is the only one trying to keep his cool, bc honestly, he’s crying too-you lethal weapon-yuri later tells you he killed georgi for embarrassing him he didnt he just poured his coffee on his new scarf

-You’re always snapchatting Phichit about one thing or another-You don’t usually use your face, rather, you just take photos of the thing you’re doing at the time-But Phichit loves you and your cute face!!! He could kiss it all day!!!-Anywho, he’s out with Yuuri, and while his friend is looking through ice skating magazines, Phichit’s checking through his notifs-And he sees you’ve replied to his snap!!-He asks Yuuri if he wants to be in a selfie with him and of course Yuuri knowing Phichit, he didn’t have much a choice-So Phichit taps the notif, and goes to your chat-Opens your snap, la dee d--Oh-Ooooooooooohhhhhh myyyyy gooooo--He blinks, and screams when the counter goes out, this boy literally fucking SCREAMS, HE SCREECHES-It’s you, holding up a hamster cookie, with the biggest smile on your face, looking so proud-The caption read ‘Just cooked up a batch for u, look how good it looks?!’-Phichit is leaning against Yuuri, who’s also seen the snap-”Aaaw, how cute!” He says-Phichit grabs his friend by the shoulders-”Yuuri.” He says in the most grave tone Yuuri’s ever heard, “That wasn’t just “cute.” Let me tell you a thing or two over just how precious my s/o is.”-He literally goes on a goddamn tangent-And Yuuri thought HE was obsessed with Viktor, CHRIST, PHICHIT-It’s like he was saving this speech over how adorable you are for this specific moment-Yuuri’s listening to him, smiling and humoring him-Phichit replays the snap, screenshotting it before just waving it in front of Yuuri, looking so happy-But Yuuri’s tired now, a fucking HOUR passed, and you only have a notif that Phichit screenshot your pic-This boi fuckin snatches the phone from your boyfriend, and before he can react, texts-”Y/N, your cookies look gr8! This is Yuuri btw, sorry for the delay in reply, but Phichit went on a speech over how cute u are! Lol pls tell him to stop, ppl are staring.”

-Viktor’s always been passionate about how cute you are-He squishes your cheeks, kisses your nose, gives you eskimo-kisses, blows raspberries on your tummy, nuzzles you CONSTANTLY when he gets overwhelmed, he just adores you-Viktor Nikiforov is entirey infatuated you, it’s adorable in itself-So he’s just texting you, when he SHOULD be practicing with Yuri, because… th… that’s his goddamn job…. Viktor,…. you fuck…..-Yuri’s shouting at him and of course, this guy is clearly ignoring him, giggling to himself as he chats with you-’lolololol Y/N, when will u get here???? it’s nearly lunch time!!! i miss uuuu~’-’im on my way!!!! u should be practicing, geez’-Fuckin Viktor chuckles, and does a little footwork,then checks his phone OOOOH GREAT JOB HOTSHOT-He skids to a halt after that-Yuri’s cussing this guy out, “OI, YOU AIRHEAD, YAKOV SAID TO FOCUS ON YOUR AXELS, FUCK YOUR FOOTWORK”-Viktor speeds his way towards Yuri which autmoatically makes him regret speaking because now he’s gonna go off about you-Instead, much to Yuri’s surprise, he’s… actually kinda quiet-It’s weird-His eyes are wide, and practically glimmering-Viktor’s cheeks are normally at least a little rosy due to the chilly temperature, but now, they’re a bright jolly red color-One hand is covering his mouth, as if in shock, and now Yuri’s a little unnerved-”What the fuck do you want.” He grumbled, a little off-put-Viktor slowly holds up his phone to show Yuri a photo of you, posing in front of a poster of Viktor that was apparantly up nearby the ice rink-You have the back of your hand on your forehead dramatically, but you’ve got a clear mixture of pride, love and amusement on your face as you grin-Beneath that was a text, saying “Can’t believe my beautiful boyfriend is actually made out of paper…….”-Yuri blinks, and grunts-He’ll admit, it was pretty cute, but he didn’t really…. give a shit…..-He looks up and sees Viktor’s cheeks pulled up in a smile behind his hand-It takes at least an hour and a half when you get a response and it’s from Yuri-’hey this is yuri can u maybe pls take ur shitty boyfriend away so i can be at peace’-Thanks yuri

#request #Yuri on ice #yuri on ice imagines #YOI #yoi imagines #Yuri!!! on Ice #Viktor Nikiforov #phichit chulanont #yurio plisetsky

[charmingyourheart]

Meet The Parents

As soon as I pulled into the driveway it became evident that I wasn’t in Kansas anymore. My first tip off should have been the gate tended by a surly looking security guard named Carl. The second should have been when Carl had advised me to turn around and go home - an idea that appealed to me far more than I care to admit. The third was when I steered my car, a mid-nineties bomb that didn’t start without a jump start most days, around the corner and a sprawling mansion came into view. 

A house, Larisa had said. 

House, my ass. 

In the middle of nowhere Connecticut the great stone monstrosity rose from the low hanging fog. The gargoyles came into view as I got closer to the building, their ugly little faces laughing at me. If I didn’t know better, I could have sworn they were watching me as I parked next to a luxury car and as I walked towards the front door, my boots crunching along the gravel. 

Taking a deep breath, I grabbed the brass knocker and knocked three times. 

Muffled voices argued, too garbled for me to make out, before Larisa’s beautiful face greeted me with her broad smile. Quite literally taking my breath away, a reaction I was still trying to get under control, Larisa reached out and took my hand in hers. 

“You’re late,” her voice was slightly accented, something she had picked up from her time in Greece as a child. 

“Traffic?” 

Larisa rolled her eyes. “Ah yes that infamous St. Apollo traffic. It’s just such a bustling hub around here, especially when there are more than five cars on the road. Worse than New York I’m sure.”

“It was positively Hellish. There were six cars out there. I thought I would be stuck in gridlock forever.” 

“Admit it,” Larisa lowered her voice, “you’re scared of meeting my parents aren’t you.” 

“Psht! No.” 

She was about to say something further before we were interrupted. 

(Read More)

“Look at him Seth, he’s practically shaking in his tiny boots,” a beefy hand curled around the edge of the door and pulled open further to reveal a set of blonde twins. “Lis, what have we told you about bringing pets home?” 

“Don’t but if you do always make sure they’re house broken,” Seth said. “This one looks like it’s going to piss on the rug.” 

Larisa narrowed her eyes, levelling a venomous glare on the men. If looks could kill they would have been barbequed. A look that could send even the most fearsome of foes running and screaming for their mummy’s didn’t seem to affect them. The twins glanced at each other before bursting into laughter. 

“Max,” she said tightly, “these are my brothers Seth and Paion, otherwise known as Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumbass.” 

“Which one is which?” My question was met with dual glares. 

“It changes daily,” she tugged my hand, prompting me to step into the house. “Come on, we won’t bite.” 

“Hard,” one of the twins said behind us. 

“A love bite at most,” the other added.

Not only were they identical in every way they even sounded the same. I knew I was going to get them confused all night and I was more than a little bit sure that they would take extreme pleasure in the fact. 

“Ignore them,” Larisa said as she led me into the belly of the beast. 

***

The mansion was built like a Labyrinth. We’d been walking for at least five minutes and I had lost track of where we were soon after the first turn. I had seen the ballroom, the library, and study. It was a throwback to another era, a time capsule, and it was freaking me the Hell out. 

A picture on the wall caught my attention. Stopping, I gazed at the sepia toned image of Larisa dressed in Victorian era finery. 

“Did you go to one of those old west places?” 

The twins snickered, stopping only when Larisa made a gesture I didn’t understand. I couldn’t help but feeling like I was missing something - something important. 

“Ages ago. I think I was only sixteen or so then.” 

“It feels like that photo was taken centuries ago,” a twin said. 

“Time flies doesn’t it, Lis?” the other twin chimed. 

“I hope you get used to living alone because I will murder one of you by the end of the night,” Larisa threatened, her voice deadly calm. 

“A little bit bloodthirsty are we? This one has never been frightened of a little blood. You’re not squeamish are you Max?” 

“Ah…” 

“You don’t faint at the sight of blood do you?” a twin asked. 

“Nah, he looks like a vomiter,” the other twin said. 

“You’re in charge of cleaning up after all his messes,” this was directed at Larisa who looked about ready to make good on her threat. 

***

After another five minutes we entered the living room in the west wing. This place was so massive it had wings. 

Wings. 

How wealthy were these people? 

While the mansion was dark, it was clearly well kept and in very good repair. It would take tens of thousands to maintain a building of this size. All I knew was that Larisa’s father was a pathologist and her mother ran some sort of business. It must have been a very successful business indeed to allow them to live in such a way. 

A woman in her late forties sat on the edge of a loveseat. Hair the same blond as the twins, she sat with her back as straight as a rod as she sipped a glass of red wine. Leaning against the bookshelf stood a man around the same age. He shared the same dark curls with Larisa and he too was casually sipping from a glass of red wine. 

Alright. 

This wasn’t so bad. 

They seemed normal enough.

I could definitely do this. 

Dropping my hand from Larisa’s I stepped forward to introduce myself but was beaten to the punch by one of the twins. Great. Just what I needed. 

“This is Larisa’s new pet Max. He’s barely house broken and a vomiter.” 

Her father looked up from his wine, unnaturally green eyes meeting mine, and it took everything in me not to turn around and run away with my tail between my legs. I was big enough to admit he scared me to death. Maybe I really would piss myself. 

“What have I told you about bringing pets home?” Her father asked, holding my gaze as he took another sip of wine. 

“Oh for God’s sake. Max isn’t a pet, he’s my fiance.” 

“Why didn’t you say so sooner?” one of the twins asked. 

“I did,” Larisa huffed, “several times. It’s not my fault you’re both too debauched to care about anything more than your next bed mate.” 

“Pleasure to finally meet you Mr and Mrs Andino,” I said, somehow finding my courage to speak. “Larisa has told me so much about you.”

That was a lie. Larisa was particularly tightlipped when it came to her family and now I was beginning to understand why. 

Her mother said something in Greek which triggered an argument amongst the family. Each one yelling over the other to be heard. My name came up a few times and I was suddenly very glad I couldn’t understand a word of it. I didn’t need to know what they were about. 

The door opened as if on its own accord. In stepped an elderly woman with the regal bearing of a queen. She quickly brought the room to attention with a harsh word and the arguing ceased. 

Larisa’s mother stood and glared down at the woman. “I cannot bear this! To see my child be with someone like that. I am leaving and I’m not going to return to sit through this farce.” 

“Do you promise?” The elderly woman blinked innocently. 

“Yaya!” Larisa exclaimed. 

Growling, Larisa’s mother bared her fanged teeth at me before leaving the room in a huff. Fanged? A trick of my imagination surely. I wasn’t exactly expecting a warm welcome from what I had been told about her loving family. I was expecting a bit of common decency though. 

“You shouldn’t have interfered,” her father said. 

“It’s a Grandmother’s job to interfere, Christopher,” she shuffled across the room and took the now vacated seat. Picking up the glass she sniffed it delicately and balked. “O negative foul stuff. Now Paion be a good little boy and fetch some of the AB positive from the basement. Now Max, tell me, will you be turning before or after the wedding?” 

Larisa groaned. 

The twins laughed. 

Her father rubbed his temples. 

“Turning what?” 

#vampire week #original fiction #written by: sian #writblr #ask to tag

[hardcheapknock-blog]

OK. What the hell is wrong is with everybody? The latest Last Jedi trailer has been out for about 24 days now and still no one wants to admit to what they saw. For reals? Fine. I’ll hold your hand and tell you then. About 1:15 minutes into the trailer, they pan to Leia on the rebel cruiser in some force thought with her silly “i’m not touching you” son. But what no one wants to talk about is what I’m about to tell you. Kinda like how nobody talks about a man they saw without a nose outside of an Aldi. #ithappenedtomeindekalbin1993

Anyways can we move on? Did you see anything special about the man walking on the left side in the background? Yeah he’s white who cares. Probably straight too – thanks Disney. No man bun? You betcha. Wearing a brown blazer? Yes I like it but cannot pull off that style myself. So let’s get this started with a question. His walk. Look familiar? Is he walking in a typical judeo-christian, humanoid manner? You know shoulders back, hands & arms somewhat near the sides as we were taught in middle college? Well no. Not at all. He’s totally disregarding everything that constitutes being a human. You really don’t know, do you? Oh for the love of syrup in beards. He is totally walking like a Sasquatch! You know Sas to the quatch? Bigfoot? Yetti come lately? Shit. Go to the next paragraph.

Everyone and their wet-nurse have seen that 1967 classic video in which Bigfoot is filmed walking in the woods? Right? It was one of the first documented sightings of Bigfoot. Sorry. Where are my manners? I should say “Beast with Sizable Underpinning” for the PC police. So there I said it for you. You now know what you knew but were too whiny to admit. I’m gonna call you Luke now. It’s not hard, Luke. Why are you so naive to not say anything about it? Don’t want to be trendy? Worried about being too dope as they say? Well I’m sick of it. HE’S WALKING LIKE A SASQUATCH EVERYONE! I’m proud to say it. Lookie here. LOOK! Front digital paper news here. Oh everyone is harping that the Porg looks like a seal chicken. You know a seacken or chiceal. I have not decided which is worse yet. And everybody is saying that Jar Jar was just a figment and/or pigment Qui Gon Jin’s imagination ala Fight Club. Oh and Kylo’s scar thing freaks me out. And why is that? Nevermind I don’t care.

Ok Luke. Just look at this. It is seriously nuts. Nobody should be walking like that without just cause. And no. Chewbacca doesn’t look like Sasquatch. Don’t even bring that up all of you control alt shift keys out there. But there’s no denying it. It’s there for everyone to see. The director knew what he was doing dammit and by golly he did it up right. Think I’m joking? Well hang up your internet then. Go on to your fancy yorkshire pudding huts like the other 38% and be content as a raindrop. As my good friend Sam Jackson says, hold on to your fannies and you will see what you know be true.

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Regular speed. Oh la dee da just some extra walking in the background. No.

Now slowed down 50%. See????? I recognize those sweeping arms anywhere.

Side by Side. If you are Chirrut Imwe you should be able to sense this.

Here it is with a photo of a wax Brad Pitt blinking between them. He cannot believe it!

And one where they replaced Carrie Fisher with a wax blinking Brad Pitt entirely.

Here it is with it inverted. Because it looks awesome!

And finally using high-tech science equipment to isolate the subject.

There. It’s so Sasquatchion that it should be illegal in many states. I have done what I can Luke. I have given you a voice on this. I have broken the “I see someone walking like Sasquatch” barrier. Frankly this all brings me back to what a young, fresh faced Anakin Skywalker once mumbled to his dear mother Shmi over porridge on Mos Espa. He said “Mom, you said that the biggest problem in the universe is no one helps each other.” A little on the nose right? Considered yourself helped, Luke.

And do not forget to enter the Last Jedi Second Viewing giveaway below! You’d be more annoying than Jar Jar if you didn’t take a chance to win a $100 Fandango gift card. You will >jedi mind trick <  go enter this contest.

  44 Days to SW EP8 – I saw it! Did you? OK. What the hell is wrong is with everybody? The latest Last Jedi trailer has been out for about 24 days now and still no one wants to admit to what they saw.

#50 Days of Star Wars #ithappenedtomeindekalbin1993 #Last Jedi #sasquatch #Star Wars #The Last Jedi