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railingsofsorrow · 27 days

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we'll be alright

[spencer reid x reader]

summary: the one where it's the team's night out after a few long weeks of work and you're finally relaxing... not really. because you have a secret that's brewing your insides out.

pairing: s.reid x f!reader

w.c: 2.4K

warnings/content: mentions of pregnancy symptoms; sleep deprivation; alcohol; jj being a good friend; discussion about choices; fearing one's reaction; yk spencer reid the best (only) man on earth.

A/N: I planned this to be a small drabble... anyways, enjoy this blurb while I finish up a few requests.

navi

masterpost

cm masterlist

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“what are you doing?”

“chill, jj. I'm not drinking.”

you roll your eyes at the blonde casting you a suspicious look when she walks over. you don't know why she did it, to be honest. everyone seemed to be having fun over at the table, you just felt too uncomfortable and had to take a breath of fresh air outside. when you came back, you sat down by the counter, the bartender placed a red drink in front of you claiming it was from a guy across the bar. you didn't look, you didn't care. you push it aside with an eye roll and stick to the glass of soda you had previously ordered.

“are you okay?” her sympathetic voice is too much for you to bear right now, so you inhale sharply, actually thinking about downing that whole red drink in a go but you're one hundred percent sure certain jj would knock it off before it reaches your mouth. “sorry. I won't ask.”

“i'm just... confused.” you shrug, playing with the hem of the glass, tongue traveling over your lips. they are pretty dry, you can't remember the last time you drank water. “you don't have to keep an eye on me, jj. seriously, I'll be back in a second. I'm just... thinking.”

“have you told him?”

“no.”

her brows pull together. and before she can offer you her unwanted advice, you cut her off.

“don't tell me he has the right to know or anything like that. I know, okay? I know what I have to do, I know what I need to do. but I have a right to process everything on my own as well and I'm doing just fine doing that. for now.” you don't mean to snap, acknowledging the fact that jj means well, but you're tired of hearing obvious things about the situation and none of them did anything to help easing your nerves.

seems like people cared more about spencer's opinion on the matter rather than your own, when it is, in fact, a matter that you are carrying.

“i was gonna say take your time. you don't need to have it all figured out right this second.” you glance up at her, doubtful. jj gives your shoulder a squeeze and casts you a reassuring smile that almost sends you to jump in her arms to be coddled. “you're not on your own. I know it can be overwhelming, trust me, but you can talk to me anytime you want, okay? when you're ready.”

you smile for what felt like the first time in the night. relief swallowing down a bit of the nervousness rumbling through your chest.

“thanks, jayge,” you say.

jj gives you a wink. she leaves you alone after that and you enjoy a few minutes on your own when a familiar and welcoming touch trails down your back.

“you're quiet.” spencer eyes something above your head with hard eyes and his gaze immediately melts when it falls upon you.

“marking territory, doctor reid?” you tease, noticing the jealousy by his tells. his tries at being inconspicuous are foolish, but you like it.

he flushes red, clearing his throat and mumbling I don't know what you're talking about under his breath.

you hum, resting your chin against your palm as you look up at him. “i'm always quiet.”

“not like that.” spencer points out, tilting his head as his lips stretch into a soft smile. his gaze says I know you. you can't fool me. and he's 100% right, you can't. “is everything okay?” he questions, fingers grazing your upper arm in a way that it almost causes you close your eyes and give in to sleep right there. the truth is that you haven't been sleeping for three whole days. tossing and turning and feeding the nightmare in your head that all would go to shit. your relationship, you mean. the most solid thing you have going on for you, you'd screw that up. personally, you're a fan of facing the problem right away so you could get rid of it quickly. but this is neither a problem — not for you — nor you could fix it.

“i have something to tell you.” you swallow with difficulty. “but I- I don't know how.”

“okay.” he caresses your arm, brows knitting together in slight concern. “do you want to go home? is that okay for you?”

you sigh, hand traveling cross your face. “i don't want you to stop having fun because—”

“i wasn't having fun.” spencer is quick to cut you off albeit gently like he always is. “i was basically begging for you to call it a night so we could leave.”

a surprise laugh escapes out of you. you believe that.

“okay.” you nod, convinced. and a little less anxious to be honest. it's not like you'd say what you want to say in the middle of a crowded bar filled with drunk people. “yeah, we can, we can go home.”

“great.” he kisses your temple and waits for you to accompany him to your friend's table so you can bid your goodbyes. the first indication that something is off was your withdraw nature throughout the entire day. not that you weren't doing your job perfectly fine, you were. but your mind seemed to be elsewhere from the moment you stepped into the FBI headquarters to this very moment now. the second indication was when you said you'd get a drink and never came back. he found you by the bar with, in deed, a drink before you. then, he knew he had to say something.

“where are your keys?” spencer asks, adjusting the leather strap on his shoulder as you stride out of the pub. you lift the car keys between your fingers and he outreaches a hand towards it to which your eyebrows pull together in confusion. “you drank, didn't you?”

your face smoothes out in understanding, “no.” he regards you with uncertainty. “i didn't,” you repeat with an eyeroll. “i can't. I ordered that one but I didn't touch it. if you wanna drive though, be my guest.” he takes the keys in the first chance and you just chuckle softly, walking to the opposite side and entering the car. when you finally adjust yourself in the seat, you let out a long breath in relief. your feet are killing you as well as your head. not to mention the dizziness coming back and forth.

you don't open you eyes when something presses against your torso, you know it's spencer buckling up your seatbelt that you had forgotten.

“what did you mean by you can't drink?” the peaceful silence is broken by spencer's gentle tone. he'd look over at you every few minutes, trying to point out if the cause for your pale cheeks is the faint light of the car or something else. your eyes are shut but he knows you are not sleeping by the constant shifting in your seat.

“what?” you stumble on an answer and that's the best you are able to come up with.

“you said I can't.”

“you're correcting my misspellings now?”

spencer's eyes widen slightly. when the traffic light turns red, he quickly turns to you ready to apologise. but he sees your smirk and backs down, letting out a sigh.

“no,” he says, rolling his eyes. there is still something unsettling about your behavior, he can't point out what. sometimes it just happened, that feeling. he knew something was off without a single glance your way. the red light turned green before he can carry on speaking.

he does it anyway, though his eyes are stuck to the avenue and not on you as he plans to.

“are you okay?”

silence. and then,

“why do you ask?” your voice is soft, almost uncertain. you are hesitant and holding back. something is definitely wrong.

“you're withdrawal. you look tired and you didn't sleep well last night. I'm fairly sure you're a bit pale since this morning.” you're groaning beside him and spencer frowns. you finally arrive at your apartment and he takes a while to park before he turns the engine off. “are you sick? do you have the flu? migraines? cause we could have gone straight home tonight, you know that right? do you have a fev—”

“stop, spencer.” you mumble before his hands reach your forehead to check your temperature. you hate that he notices so much so fast. even though he's quiet about it, spencer is always paying attention. always. “it's not— I'm not sick. don't worry.”

“i'm still worrying.” he replies matter-of-fact, earning a scowl from you. he isn't phased. “should we go to the hospital?”

you huff like a five year old. “i just told you I'm not sick.”

“and I don't believe you.”

somehow, you wish he noticed more so you didn't had to say the truth out loud.

“i'm not sick.” your tone was sharp though you avoid it, it was just how it came out. you were sick of that subject.

spencer frowns. he stops himself before he could ask if you were sure of that statement.

“but I might get sick.” you utter under your breath, unsure about saying it out loud but you already did it. spencer turns to you after he takes off his shoes, a pet peeve of yours is that you hate dirty shoes around the apartment. there's always a few pairs of flipflops by the doorstep in case you have visitors. or they can just walk around in their socks, you had no problem with that, which is what spencer did. “... once in a while.”

“what is going on?” spencer approaches you slowly, his concern starting to create a thousand of theories inside his head. “really, I'm worried—”

“i'm pregnant.” you let out and release the breath you've been holding for what felt like hours. there. it's done. when you open your eyes, you don't look at him but walk straight in the direction of your room. spencer is hot on your heels. you just wanted to shower.

“what— you're— what do you mean?” his frantic voice almost makes you laugh if you weren't so tired with a headache brewing.

“i really need to take a long shower, spencer.”

“I—” he blinks, studying you for a moment before he swallows all of his questions and he sees. he sees what's going on and why your behaviour has been off these days. spencer's very observant, but sometimes he can let one or two hints wander off his radar. “okay.” he wants to hold you but he stays in his spot. if you want space, that's what he will give you. “do you need me to prepare you a bath?” he prays you say yes but you shake your head, entering the bathroom and shutting the door.

he lowers himself down on the edge of bed and stares at nothing as his thoughts swirls around the signs being thrown at his face the whole week. the morning sickness. not being able to stand the smell of any perfume. a sudden dizziness... fuck. how could he have been so clueless?

spencer admits he's always beeng good at physics and chemistry and statistics and he's constantly praised for picking up certain behaviours in his line of work, but he sucks at social cues and most of the times he misses the joke in a room or your sarcasm — though he's infinitely better at detecting that.

he takes pride in knowing you. your little quirks such as the way you press your lips together when you're uncomfortable or when you pick at your cuticles when something is on your mind during a case. he doesn't know how he didn't notice that. really, you spent most of your time together, both at work and outside of work. hell, spencer knows your period cycle. he makes sure to fill his pantry with your favourites sweet and sour snacks for that time of the month. it truly makes no sense how be could be so oblivious.

he knocks twice on the bedroom door, apprehensive and extremely careful. he's afraid by your latest reaction that you don't want him around.

it's actually the opposite.

“come in.” you're finishing getting dressed for the night. one of his old Caltech shirts slipping through your frame as he walks in slowly. you raise a brow in his direction, eyeing his figure standing by the doorway.

“i made you some peppermint tea. it's good for, hm, nausea.”

letting out a sigh at his hesitation, you lift a hand, silently asking him to come closer. “i'm not mad at you.” you clarify, breathing into his neck as he gently pulls you into his arms. “i was frustrated and tired and sore and sleepy. 'm sorry I was rude.” then, you chuckle awkwardly. “and sorry I dropped that bomb on you without a notice.”

he squeezes you, running a hand through your back. “don't be sorry. I understand.”

“are you mad?”

he pulls back a little, stunned that you even asked that. “what? why would I be mad?”

you shrug, meddling with the collar of his work attire he still hasn't taken off. “we didn't plan it. it's not ideal.”

spencer shakes his head, lifting your chin slightly to meet his gaze. “i don't care. I'm here for whatever you decide to do. there's no such thing as ideal.”

your mouth quirks up in the corners and you brush a honey brown curl behind his ear, fingertips trailing down his jaw.

“what?” he nudges your nose with his.

“i love you.” his grin is contagious and you can't help the laugh that bubbles out of you. you love him so much.

“and i love you.” you let out a shriek as he pulled you up in his arms, your feet being suspended from the ground. “hey,” he cups your cheeks lovingly. “we'll figure it out. together. alright?”

you nod, warmth flooding through your chest as you close your eyes and lean into his touch. “yeah, yeah, we will.” you mumble in the croak of your boyfriend's neck. “I love you.” you repeat just because you felt like it.

spencer mutters the same three words softly into the crown of your head. and you know everything will be alright.

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taglist: @lilyviolets ; @whore-for-spencer-reid ; @yeonalie ; @ninkieminjaj

#reader insert #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #spencer reid fanfiction

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personasintro · 8 months

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Mutual Help | #05

𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭: @kithtaehyung

↳ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; in order for you to pretend to be his girlfriend, he helps you with your sexual desires ⏤ he calls it mutual help

⇢ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: jungkook x reader

⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fake dating au, fluff, angst, smut, slow burn

⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit language, mature content

⇢ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.9k+

⇠ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯. | 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐱 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 ⇢

"Kook, you're drunk." you choke out, shivering when you feel him peppering kisses to your neck.

You have no idea how the hell this happened. One minute, he's calling a cab since everyone has called it a night, and then the next, his hands are all over you while shameless gasps and moans escape past your lips. It feels so fucking good. What started with innocent touches in a cab led to the two of you kissing in the elevator, until you got inside of Jungkook's apartment and now he's ready to devour you.

"I'm not drunk," he pulls away, frowning a little bit at your statement. "I'm slightly buzzed." he corrects, grinning at his amazing joke that makes you roll your eyes.

Okay, maybe he's not completely wasted and was totally fine with walking to his place, but still. His eyes are slightly hooded, a taste of alcohol lingering on his tongue and lips, and his words come out more lazily and slurred. You're definitely more sober than he is, but you can still feel the basic symptoms of having alcohol flowing in your system.

It's safe to say that it left you and Jungkook hot and craving for some touch from one another.

He dives in, lips catching yours once again as he starts kissing you with so much eagerness that makes you moan into his mouth. Your cheeks are flushed, half from alcohol and half from the fact you just freaking moaned into his mouth – again. Luckily, he doesn't point it out, too busy trying to devour your lips.

It feels so fucking good, enough to leave your panties to stick to your core and you kind of hate yourself for that. This is your best friend. You haven't been this aroused because of anyone. The fact that it's Jungkook himself, should make you feel uncomfortable but all you can focus on are your fingers tugging his longer hair. He groans, pulling you onto his lap and it makes you squeal, before he's catching your lips once again. His hands rummage over your back, slowly gripping your hips before he lightly touches your lower back. He's testing the waters again, not wanting to make you feel uncomfortable and cross any boundaries. You still have a lot to talk about, setting a basic rules on how this whole thing is going to work.

But you could care less about rules right now, especially when Jungkook's lips are irresistible. The whole thing is out anyway, Kiko knows, and Jimin and Taehyung as well. Their reaction is still clear in your mind.

"Actually, we're dating."

For a solid minute, they just stare at the both of you, eyeing you both with even more shock written on their faces. Jimin's eyes fall onto Jungkook's arm around your shoulders while Taehyung keeps glancing between you two.

"You--what--the two of you--you guys are--you are dating?" Taehyung stutters, trying to break the awkward silence.

Poor Taehyung looks like he's about to lose his mind, trying to put the pieces together as he slowly reaches for his drink, sipping on it.

Well, you both were always super clear about your friendship and how it is important for you, too important to ruin it by trying to date. Plus, you were clear about not seeing each other as a partner and sharing the same love life. It makes this lie way more harder and you begin to panic.

"How did this happen? I mean... you guys were pretty persistent where both of you stand." Jimin frowns, still not believing you as he carefully eyes you and if it weren't for Jungkook next to you, you'd shrink in your seat.

"We've decided to try it out. Y/N has always been there for me and I think she's what's best for me,"

You're not being subtle when you whip your head in his direction, staring at him with confused gaze, hiding your real shock behind it. You search his eyes, but he's making it hard for you to see through them when he just stares back at you, smiling down at you. You're not sure whether the smile is fake or real, but you go along with it and smile back.

Damn, he's a really good actor.

"Anyway, this is still new for us. Can you guys not make it weird for us?" he asks, looking at your friends as they quickly nod, apologizing for their blunt reaction.

"Oh, fuck." you curse, head leaning backwards when Jungkook sucks at your neck. Jimin and Taehyung out of your thoughts as soon as you feel his lips on the new spot.

He licks the skin of your neck before he goes back to sucking, skilfully twirling his tongue making you gasp into the air. You've never felt something like this. Your ex boyfriend was never this touchy and straightforward, and Jungkook is showing you what you were missing out on. He's so damn good with his mouth, it makes you think what else does he know and why the fuck Kiko left such a man.

His hardness is poking you, it's hard to tell if he's fully hard but you can still feel it, even though it's hidden underneath his black jeans. The ache between your legs is strong, needy for any touch that makes you see stars and your body reacts naturally, shifting on his lap that makes him gasp in surprise. He feels you grinding on him, hands grabbing your ass for the first time and he even checks your reaction, only to find your eyes closed and teeth biting your lower lip.

Your lipstick is smeared, almost none of it left and your make up isn't fresh, but you don't care about your appearance. All you can focus on is Jungkook – and only him.

When he squeezes your ass, encouraging you to keep grinding onto his clothed length, your hand outstretched on his chest as you pull away just a little bit. "Stop." you tell him breathlessly, trying to calm down your beating heart.

You can feel his own heart beat against your palm, the rhythm identical to yours, while he stares at you with those doe eyes that are glistening from the alcohol.

"You wanna stop?"

The disappointment behind his voice doesn't go unnoticed by you, but you don't dwell on it too much, wanting to get things out of your chest. Your friendship is still the most important thing here.

"We're both drunk, Kook. I don't want us to regret it when we wake up tomorrow." you tell him honestly, because the thought and different scenarios of tomorrow morning makes your stomach uncomfortable scrunch.

"We don't have to have sex," he tells you, leaning his head back as he slows down his breathing. "But if you wanna stop, I'm fine with whatever you want."

This causes you to smile, appreciating the honesty in his voice and even the look on his drunken face. But you don't want to stop. Maybe it's not the right thing to have sex with him, tonight or even, but you just want to keep kissing him and see where it brings you. You don't want to plan anything and the way your whole make out happened in the elevator, continuing in his small living room is exactly what you want. Rather than you wanting things to happen spontaneously, you want them to happen naturally.

And it's that one look at his neck, a faint vein poking out of his honey skin and disappearing underneath his black dress shirt that reveals some of his collarbones, drives you crazy. You've got only one month to experience anything you and Jungkook want. And now you want him.

Shaking your head, you cup his face as you shift on his lap to make yourself comfortable, smirking when he groans and glares at you. "I want to continue." you assure him, giving him a green light and before you can properly look at him from this close proximity, he's already chasing your lips again.

The kissing is heated, his hands all over your ass again but this time he makes sure he squeezes your ass cheeks and gives them a proper attention, while you grip the back of his head and starts to grind on his clothed jeans.

"I--fuck, I don't think I can cum like this," he tells you, the mention of anyone cumming tonight makes you all giddy inside. "Let me take my jeans off." he says, but still searches your face for permission.

He must be uncomfortable in those tight jeans and quick 'sure, take it off' leaves your mouth right away, shifting off his lap before he quickly takes them off. You're not surprised by his usual Calvin Klein boxers, this time in white color, but your mouth hangs open as you see the visible outline of his length.

It looks massive and you're not even sure if he's fully hard. He pats his lap, inviting you in again and you don't waste a second, already scurrying to sit down on his muscular thighs.

You go back straight to kissing, your dress hiking up and he carefully slides his hands underneath it, feeling your lacy panties with his fingertips. And you grind on him, moaning at the way he visibly starts to visibly hardening after a few strokes, your underwear rubbing against each other. Your clit is aching, greedy for his cock and you're close to pull off his boxers, just to see and feel what's hiding underneath it.

Jungkook's firm hands are helping you to set up a fast pace, pushing your ass against his hardened length that feels massive and you almost salivate just from the feeling of it. Your face is buried in his face, inhaling his musky scent while you keep gasping into his skin. It feels so fucking good, it's something you've never tried before. You're needy, almost pathetically humping him like a bitch in heat but your body reacts on its own. Your mind feels clear, not filled with overthinking or any thoughts.

"That's it, baby. Grind on me, make yourself cum." he suddenly speaks, voice breathless but raspy at the same time. Baby.

It makes you whimper, not ready for any dirty talk but it's just another step to get you closer.

You knew he's great with his mouth.

"Jungkook," you whimper, feeling yourself getting close and clenching around nothing. You wish you could feel him inside of you and it makes you so flustered, but you know you can't stop. This is what you wanted.

"You're doing great, that's it. Fuck, baby. Keep rubbing your pussy over my cock."

Fuck, is this the same man that drinks banana milk?

It all seems to fast. But the feeling of Jungkook's cock brushing against your clit and filthy words leaving his mouth, you're gasping and clutching onto him tightly, before you let go. You're cumming, his name leaving your mouth as a chant, while your whole body grows even more hot.

Before you know it, Jungkook groans and his whole body tenses, his head throwing back as he suddenly relaxes.

"Fuck," he rasps out, caressing your ass as your whole body is thrown over him. "I've never thought I could cum in my pants."

You pull away, shakily glancing at him before you look down. There's a stain wetting the white material, his cum drenching his boxers. You wait for him to grow embarrassed or shy, but he grins cockily and amusingly at the same time, staring at his softening clothed cock.

Your panties feel sticky, but you don't move away. It felt incredible, yet you still crave for more. You know you could experience much more intense orgasm with Jungkook.

And rather than thinking that you've just made each other orgasm into your underwear, you just think about one thing only.

You can't wait for more.

#networkbangtan #btswritingcafe #ksmutclub #bts smut #jungkook x reader #bts angst #bts fluff #bts au #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fake dating #personasintro

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ecoamerica · 2 months

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youtube

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monicahar · 2 years

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drunken nights.

when they get a bit too wasted...

characters; cyno, scaramouche, tighnari, kazuha, nilou, shenhe

; gn! reader, alcohol/drinking, established relationship, slight nsw themes of scara's hehe, this is so unnecessarily long

if you somehow manage to get this man to drink away his burdens, CYNO would be the goofy type of drunk. usually, he'd keep his jokes to himself, waiting for an opportunity to insert them in a conversation. but when he's utterly besotted, that boundary completely disappears into thin air. think of it as a barn of chickens, once his mental capacity is impaired due to drinking, all those chickens escape, about to enforce chaos. you and your friends now have to listen to his horrible jokes throughout the entire night, even if they have no correlation to the topic of the conversation whatsoever. it also doesn't help a bit that he contagiously cackles at all of his jokes. his soar laughing fills the entire table with a sense of melancholy. even after you both get home, he's still cracking horrible jokes whilst you're trying to shove water down his throat.

“hey, hey, [name], do you know why I love you so dearly?” you stay quiet, minding your own business until he suddenly wraps his arms around you—earning a small yelp as he breaths down your ear. “because you're perfect.” “cyno...that's not even funny...” you struggle to surpress the incoming blush. “it's not a joke, you walnut...”

if SCARAMOUCHE ever entertains the thought of getting drunk to momentarily forget his burdens, he'd probably only want to do it alone with you. which is why you're both now in his inazuman-styled bedroom, cups of sake in each other's hands as you both quietly talk just about anything, throwing in some insults here and there because we know how he is. i see him becoming almost becoming a completely different person when drunk. he's more chill, and is definitely a lot more talkative than when he's sober. “i saw a cat today, it reminded me of you.” you lean onto his shoulder, feeling the headache already. “was it mean to you?” he throws a slight glare. “bingo. it was cute though. much like you.” he doesn't have the heart to get mad at the moment. not because he's drunk or anything, but because of how grazing hot your skin is against his. both of your kimonos are loosened due to the growing heat of the room.

he catches a glimpse of your bare shoulders and collarbone, a canvas ready for him to paint with...ahem. suddenly feeling a carnal desire burn inside him, he quickly shifts his position, looking more carefully at your flushed face, dilated eyes as you breath heavily. “kuni, is it just me or is it getting warmer—” you're unable to finish talking as he crashes his lips onto yours. good night ;)

TIGHNARI would be too refined and busy for such activities, so i will use his status as a researcher to my advantage. he's come across a wide variety of plants, but one of your favourite discoveries of his would be that one particular mushroom that enacts alcoholic symptoms upon a living being that consumes it. you both come across it during an expedition, and unsurprisingly—he wants to see its capabilities, ordering you to record it's effects, and to bring him back to ghandarva ville if it turns out serious. he chews on it, slightly grimacing at the taste before he says he feels nothing. making sure to take a sample, you both trudge home just in case it has delayed effects. his guess was right it seems, much to his dismay. you remind yourself to record the effects as he had instructed, but...he's so cute! you can't help but coo at his flushed state, clinging onto your waist as he babbles about nonsense.

“okay, tighnari...i have to write your paper, let go of me for a bit...!” you freeze when he slightly growls in annoyance, tightening his grip on you. his tail wags when you start rubbing his ears, “no...forget it for now...it's just some alcoholic shroom anyways...” “it could turn out more serious, you know?” “don't care...just stay close to me.” he says that, but the very next morning—he's now scolding you for getting distracted from your objective. you had it coming.

we've all seen it. the legendary drunk KAZUHA during the golden archipelago event. he's canonly a slurring mess when drunk, much contrary to his usual poetic self. he leans onto your shoulder, hugging your arm as he coos at how “beauti'fuuul” you are. you can hear venti snicker in the background, earning him a glare from you. he raises his hands in defense and winks, "ehe, he's really intoxicated, isn't he? not just by the beverage, but by you as well." "how romantic!” xinyan cheers. deliberately returning your gaze towards your drunked lover. “kazu, it's time to go home. stand up for me will you?” you attempt to pull him up, but you're surprised to see that he immediately shoots up from his seat, swaying a bit from his dizziness. “hehe, anything'fo my super amaziiiing luvwer...” it reliefs you to know that he still recognises you despite not being fully rational at the moment. arriving at the inn you both rented a night for, you clean him up before plopping down on the bed, exhaustion taking over your sense as he suddenly crawls over you.

“kazu, you need to sleep early. we have a trip tomorrow...” he pays no mind to what you said, leaving butterfly kisses on your neck as you tremble under his hold. this is escalating a bit too fast, you think as you slightly lean back. “mm, i'll sleep, dun' worry...” he hums, muttering an apology onto your neck before snoozing off. what a handful.

as a renowned dancer in sumeru, NILOU is often invited to many parties or celebrations. after dancing for her audience, she'd of course get invited by people to their tables, in hopes of getting to compliment her for the amazing performance. she never drinks alcohol though, choosing to drink juice to maintain her composure and image. except for that one time you were getting forced to drink, but obviously didn't want to so she drank a cup in your stead, earning howls of laughter from your fellow buddies. “how bold of you.” you tease her, causing her to blush. “it's just—you seemed uncomfortable so...” “you're lightweight though. will you be alright? sorry in advance if this gets you in trouble with your manager.” ahhh. :D she completely forgot about that part. raising a brow at the way her expression freezes, you giggle at her usual airhead self. “don't worry. i'll explain it to them in person.” you hold her hand as she starts to sway, her eyes staring to close from the headache that's already growing. that cup of sake was probably a bit too much for what she can handle.

as she's currently freed from her subconscious need of containing her image, she's now smiling like an idiot as she leans onto you, hugging your waist as she nuzzles her face onto your neck. her thoughts are eventually blurred as she starts doze off, only thinking about the way you smell very nice.

someone who you'd never expect to be a fun drinking buddy would be SHENHE. the line that her red seal creates between her soul and her emotions are blurred when she gets intoxicated. choosing to get drunk with you would mean she's intentionally dropping her guard around you, wanting you to see a more vulnerable side of hers. "i often wondered if me having an adeptus's diet would affect how alcohol would take effect in my body. turns out, no...this drink is a dangerous weapon.” you snort at the seriousness in her tone, “yes, very dangerous indeed.” she perks up all of sudden. “your laugh just now.” you blink at her statement. what was wrong with your laugh? you tilt your head, beckoning her to continue. “it was very...cute...? is that how you use that word?” “you only found it cute just now?” you say with a false expression of hurt. “i never thought you to be so cruel with me shenhe...” she tilts her head much like you did earlier. “i've always thought it was 'cute'. i have to constantly tell you?”

you slightly pout, “yes. you do. i want affirmation from you too, you know.” and with that, she suddenly stands up, leaving her cup at her side of the table as she makes her way towards you, abruptly leaning down as she awkwardly cradles your face with her hand. you can smell the alcohol from her lips as your breath hitches. “[name], you're cute.” the words come out more stiff than she intended, but you still found it heartwarming nonetheless.

#tighnari x reader #cyno x reader #scaramouche x reader #kazuha x reader #nilou x reader #shenhe x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact headcanons #genshin x reader #har❗fiction

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writingoddess1125 · 7 months

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could you do Mihawk, Luffy, Zoro and Shanks being all protective over their drunk partner, like maybe someone had put something in their drink.

also who’s your favorite person in one piece to write for? :D

Ohh I love this idea!

As for favorite to write for It absolutely Buggy! IDK Ive always had a think for creepy clowns ;3 What can i say! I would ride some red noses! MWAHAHAHAHAH 🤡

Support me on Ko-Fi please 🙏

Or support my Gofundme

⚠️ Warnings ⚠️: Drugging, Alcohol

Drunk + Spiked Partner

Mihawk

• It had been a fun evening you and him going to a grand bar and drinking together. You two had been having a great time- but Mihawk had made a mistake however. Unaware of how much of a lightweight you were and (compared to normal pirates-) having been a giggly red mess after 'only' 6 strong drinks.

• "Y-You know I always found you super attractive~" You slur out far too drunk. He looked at you amused as you drank far too much.

• "I think you have had enough" He purred out, his hand keeping you closer to him in case you slipped away. However he noticed immediately how your seemed to be getting loopier

• "I don't thinkkk" You slurred as you tried to lift the glass to your lips once more.

• Mihawks hand shot out and snatched the cup from your hand much to your surprise. Watching how he closely stared at the contents of the drink.

• Smelling the contents before he growled at the discovery. Looking at you he stood up and dumped the drink on the floor, pulling you up to your feet. He scooped you up into his arms-

• "Which Bartender gave you that drink?" He ordered, watching you as you pointed to a rather panicked looking Bartender who was trying to slip into the back. His eyes narrowing in anger at this-

• "Let's get you to sleep-" He takes you out quickly back to your gets hotel room.

• Mihawk would definitely take care of you that night and if your symptoms are worse or getting worse will take you to the hospital.

• Will brutally murder the Bartender and any of those who dare go against his actions. Using using hid small cross blade to make it more intimate

Luffy {dark}

• Luffy wasn't a drinker since it makes him sleepy- So when he agreed to go with you to celebrate he was going got food and not much else.

• As he would be careful to escort him out, his gaze darkened at this and he glanced to across the room. His eyes meeting Zoro who had been across the room the whole time and nodded once. The green haired man nodding his head as he lifted himself from the wall and stalked towards the bathroom where the injured asshole had hid in. His hand already on the blade of his sword as he walked in-

• What was being celebrated however was unknown still but you were still all to happy to have him join you.

• Eating food together while you drank, the conversation being light and happy. Both of you oblivious to the cook who had been eyeing you the whole night or when he slipped behind the bar before the waitress brought your next round of drinks.

• It only took 3 drinks before the world began to spin-

• "W-Wow I feel funny-" You slurred and rubbed your face. Trying to rub away the odd feeling washing through your body. Luffy watching you closely and touching your forehead.

• "Are you okay?" He said calmly as he checked for fever.

• He would pull the glass from you and smell it calmly. Sticking his finger in a glass and tasting it lightly, His face cringing at the taste bit also by the chalkiness at the bottom of the glass.

• "We need to go (Y/N)" He said calmly as he pulled you up to your feet carefully.

• "Here lets get you back to the ship" He said cheerfully. Taking the time to nurse you back to health and watch over you fully.

Zoro

• Will absolutely cut them down in person- He is not going to hesitate in the slightest and murder the suspect right then and there in the bar. He doesn't care if it gets the attention of others-

• It was suppose to be a simple bar date. Drinking together and your crew out enjoying the festival, you and Zoro paired together best anyway since you kept him from getting lost.

• "This has been so fun!" You say cheerfully, holding Zoros hand as you two step into the busy far.

• "Can to buy me a drink?" A young women flirted with you. You smile politely and decline, walking away quickly as she glares at you and Zoro who take a seat.

• "That chick is giving me the creeps" You mumbled, noticing a women staring you down.

• "Probably just jealousy" He said calmly pouring you two another drink as you guys cheered and talked merrily together.

• Eventually you two finishing the first bottle so you offer to get up to grab another

• Going up to the Bartender he hands you a free shot- Saying someone bought it for you. You happily accept and down it before returning to your table with the new bottle.

• After a few more drinks Zoro noticed your drowsy ways, the way you slouched forward and could barely keep your eyes open.

• "(Y/N)?" He mumbled and reached forward to touch your face. Squinting his eyes as he knew immediately what this was and watched as the Bartender & Women from before approach.

• "You did this didn't you?-" Zoro hissed in anger as he watched the duo smirk.

• Bartender: "She looks really drunk and my friend here has noticed. Sir why don't we have the Lady take them?-" He suggested as the women's marked and nodded.

• "You did this.." Zoro said as he held you closer and anger bubbled in his chest.

• Doesnt know where the hospital is so goes the the Inn next door and takes care of you through the night.

Shanks

• Shanks eyes narrowed as he gently pulled you close, looking you over as he gently placed his hand on your cheek to look you in the eyes.

• You were always Shanks favorite waitresses. He had been coming to your bar for years and always did it just to visit you.

• Tonight was extra special since you weren't on shift so you decided to drink with Shanks and his crew.

• "I see a new Bartender tonight" Shanks commented, Seeing how he leered at you with every drink you had.

• You nodded taking another sip from your strong drink. "Yeah he just started- a nice guy.. if not a little too nice" You admit, however not wanting to ruin the moment you continue drinking.

• It didn't take long for you to start to grow loopy, confused by basic conversation and sleepy. Most would assume you simply had too much to drink- but you were no lightweight.

• "(Y/N).. did someone hand you a drink or look away from it?" He said calmly, You leaning into him heavily and nodded Unsure of what he was even saying. Shanks eyes narrowed as he looked around the bar angrily, his eyes landing on his suspect.

• Will take you immediately to the hospital and have his crew deal with the suspect who was clearly to avoid capture.

• Sits with you the whole night and will get updates from Ben Beckman on the status of the person who Drugged you- aka them being past tense

#x reader #one peice x reader #one piece #one peice live action #one piece mihawk #hawkeye mihawk #mihawk x reader

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hillbillyoracle · 2 years

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Unpopular opinion: I think it's worth thinking about social media in terms of sobriety much like we do alcohol.

I get internet addiction is it's own thing but as someone who's been sober for the last 2 years - longest point at any time in my adult life - they fucking feel pretty similar. I finally went all in on cutting out all social media but Tumblr a few weeks ago and I'm having very similar symptoms to when I cut out drugs and alcohol. It's like parts of my brain I didn't realize had shut off are coming back online.

And what I mean by this specifically is that in the same way that we have discussions about lack of sober (per alcohol) spaces in communities - especially the queer community - I think it's worth having those conversations around social media sobriety too.

The people who designed some of our biggest platforms used the same techniques as casino gambling. If every community event was held in a casino and gambling was basically required, we'd probably at minimum have a discussion about it. But mention it with social media and everyone acts like you're against the printing press/reading.

I'm just saying it should be normal to maintain friendships outside of social media. And it's been real slim pickings which friends have kept in touch off of it.

Reminds me of how part of what kept me in the bar scene was because my friends only ever wanted to hang out at them. Which kept me drinking. Which was...not great for me. At minimum.

Not pushing a specific solution - just saying it's worth considering. Does your community have gathering spaces that aren't selling ad space and dictated in part by an algorithm? Does maintaining friendships require a major platform? Can people find out about events without needed to sign up for a Facebook account? Etc.

#social media #sobriety #shower thoughts

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zwedexx · 3 months

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AWFC x English-Italian Reader - Chapter 2

Summary: Reader is dealing with the effects of their concussion

TW: concussion, alcohol, maybe depression

WC: 1232

A/N: Sorry for taking ages, i was productive today so here is chapter 2. Do i hate it.. kinda. also to make it clear, the reader takes more medication than needed because they forgot they were taking them due to memory loss. also if you wanna chat abt anything i've written, my asks are always open. Also not proof read

It has only gone downhill since your conversation with Leah. You were only able to talk to her because the effects of the medications they had used to stabilize you hadn’t fully worn off yet. But once they did, the doctors refused to give you more. You weren’t new to concussions, and you knew that they weren’t going to give you anything because they needed to monitor your symptoms, but the pain had never been this bad. The smallest amount of light or sound would make it feel as though you were being stabbed right through your frontal lobe.

Your teammates tried to help by being there for you, but they were doing everything but helping. They would always seem to make your pain worse, and you hated it. There was a big part of you there that wanted your chosen family to be there right by your side, to make you feel better like they had last year when you got COVID. But you couldn’t take them right now. It hurt you too much to tell them to their face, so you had the nurses and medical staff prevent them from visiting you.

The only good thing to come from your self-imposed isolation was that none of them knew of your diagnosis.

“I don’t want you to get too alarmed, but based on your current symptoms and seizure, it’s looking ever more likely that it will be too dangerous to continue playing football.” The doctor had informed you once that you were able to communicate without being in total agony.

You stayed silent; you did know what to say.

“It's not a definite conclusion, but we have to consider the severity of your symptoms and the potential risks involved,” the doctor continued. “We will monitor your condition closely, but I want you to understand that there's a real possibility that returning to the game could pose serious health risks, both in the short and long term.”

You stayed silent, absorbing the weight of the doctor's words.

The doctor's words felt like an assault on your very existence. Football wasn't just a game; it was your lifeblood, the essence of who you were. It was the only thing keeping you going at times.

Only a few days before Christmas were you discharged from the hospital. All the older teammates offered you a place to stay. Viv and Beth were the first.

"Look, I know you might not want to burden anyone, but we're a team. We look out for each other," Beth said, concern etched on her face as she walked beside you.

“Our guest room is always open to you." Viv continued

Leah had offered the same. And you gave them all the same bullshit story.

“Guys, I’ll be fine. My parents are coming to take care of me. They’ll be here tomorrow. Go enjoy your holidays.”

“If you ever need anything, don’t be afraid to ask. We’re all here for you if you need us.” Kim said.

Part of you really wanted their help. Part of you wished they would force you to stay at their houses. But the part that was against it was stronger.

When you finally got home, there was no one waiting for you. You sort of chuckled to yourself. Your parents were never going to come take care of you, but your teammates didn’t know that. Your parents weren’t bad people, but you hadn’t left it off on the best of terms. It all started when you were young, you hung out with the ‘wrong kind of people’, you got into a lot of trouble, and you did bad things. As young as 13, you would go out late at night with your friends and sneak into abandoned buildings or construction sites to drink and smoke. In your mind, these were the nights of your life. Your parents were quite absent from your life; they were far more interested in their businesses and enterprises, and those people took an interest in you. They wanted you around; they could make you feel like you belonged.

It took you being arrested for being drunk, disorderly, and almost OD’ing for them to figure out you’d been sneaking out for over a year. That was the first time you’d really disappointed them.

Only a few months later, you’d disappoint them again after you had taken up drinking again, this time with a new group of people. That’s when they started to realize that you might be the problem.

The final nail in the coffin came when you decided to sign with Arsenal. Your parents couldn’t understand why you’d ever do such a thing. They only saw it as another stupid mistake to add to your long list. They could have stopped you, but at that point, they didn’t care anymore. Only a week after you’d signed, they’d fully moved to Milan.

The first few days at home were fine; at least that’s what you thought. You were on track, you took your medications every day, and you didn’t put too much strain on yourself. You ate healthy and went on walks. You were ready to do anything to get back to the sport you loved. Anything.

It was the day before Christmas Eve when you realized your 10-day supply of medications was almost done. You couldn’t believe it; you had taken the correct amount every day, or at least that’s what you remembered.

You thought you could do it. You thought you could make it through the holidays without medication, but you were wrong—so very wrong. The days stretched out in a seemingly never-ending cycle of pain. The relentless headaches intensified, and you weren’t able to cope with the unmedicated effects of a concussion this severe.

You tried to reach out to the pharmacy, hoping for an early refill or something to manage your symptoms, but the holidays meant it was closed. You debated calling your teammates, even getting as close as dialing Beth’s number, but as the phone rang, you second-guessed your decision. What would you say? How were you going to tell them you had lied to them and, due to your stupidity, had put yourself in another predicament.

It wasn’t long after you made that call that the isolation and pain became far too much. Over the past few days, thoughts of turning to an old friend returned.

You were Italian; by nature, there was always a bottle of something in your house; it had never tempted you until now. Football was always there, replacing it in a way nothing had ever done for you. But that solace has been taken from you now. The promise of a temporary escape from all the pain was undeniable.

You hesitated, holding the bottle in your hand. You uncapped the bottle, and the scent of grappa, your common poison of choice, wafted through the air. You took a sip, surrendering to the pain.

The first sip was sharp, with the burn racing down your throat and the warmth quickly spreading through your chest. The level in the bottle dropped steadily, and with it, the pain was momentarily forgotten. With each passing moment, the effect intensified.

It wasn’t long before you were free. You felt nothing and were worried about nothing. You knew you could be putting both your concussion and alcohol recovery in danger, but you didn’t care anymore.

#woso #women's football #woso x reader #arsenal wfc #arsenal women #women's soccer #woso fanfics #beth mead #leah williamson #vivianne miedema #katie mccabe #kim little

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she-is-ovarit · 1 year

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This might be old or unhelpful information to some, but along with women needing higher healthy fats in our diets (avocados, eggs, etc.) and liquid vitamins potentially being life-changing (because the body only has a 10-20% absorption rate for supplement pills), dehydration can be a huge trigger for chronic fatigue syndrome.

We can get to a dehydrated point where we won't feel thirsty (which is easy to reach), and some of us might struggle with cravings, because we are thirsty but these thirst receptors aren't perfect (also, prior to us being able to develop drier foods, most foods had water content in them so it's intuitive that our bodies do this). We live in an age where we can't unfortunately trust our water sources due to environmental pollution, and where the workplace might not accommodate healthy hydration (or frequent peeing). What I do to limit how much I pee and increase how much fluid I retain is to add those little electrolyte packets to my bottled water.

If your mind feels laggy or jumbled, if you feel too weak to get out of bed, if you're tired like all the time, if no matter how much sleep you get you still feel tired, if you have cold hands and feet, anxiety, and if you have memory issues - these are all signs of chronic fatigue and women experience it more than men. It's a complex chronic condition that is debilitating and not taken seriously at all, and there can be numerous triggers to it. I mentioned not obtaining enough healthy fats above or proper vitamin levels (especially iron and vitamin Bs), and these issues can trigger the above symptoms of chronic fatigue. Dehydration is another big trigger, and it's why we might especially experience these symptoms a few hours or a day after exercise or after drinking alcohol. Take care of yourself, pound water.

#health #women's health #chronic conditions #chronic fatigue #chronic fatigue syndrome #disabilities #nutrition #hydration

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dilemmaontwolegs · 1 year

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Another Lie || CL16 {4}

Warnings: 18+ only, still angst sorry but not as heartbreaking! WC: 1.4K

F1 Masterlist || One || Two || Three || Four || Five (Charles) || Five (Max)

Seven Months Later

The heavily embossed invitation was missing one corner, a victim to your nervous fidgeting, but your name written in a familiar cursive handwriting was still legible. It wouldn’t have mattered anyway when you saw who was waiting at the garden entrance to the private beach greeting the guests.

You had planned to decline the invitation when it arrived but it was your mother who convinced you to fly back to Monaco. There had been countless nights spent crying on her shoulder as you suffered from the withdrawal symptoms of him. But, eventually the tears dried and the yearning dissipated until all you were left with was the clarity of hindsight 20/20.

Coming here was the last step in your recovery from him. It was acceptance.

You took a deep breath as the guests in front of you passed the gate and you stepped forward. “Hi, Charles.”

He seemed to be in a daze as his fingers reached for a glass of champagne from the tray of the waitress beside him. It was only when he looked at who he was giving the flute to that he did a double take and his eyes widened in surprise.

“I didn’t think you would come,” he said in disbelief as his eyes trailed over every inch of you twice before he returned to your face.

You couldn’t help but notice the dark circles around his eyes as you were frozen staring back at him. “Me neither.”

“You look amazing, I mean you always did, but wow, I forgot how beautiful you are.”

You shifted uncomfortably in your heels and thrust the large gift bag against his chest. “Congratulations.”

Charles' lips turned down and he dropped the bag on the table with the other gifts, his lack of interest in them giving an insight into how he was feeling about it all.

“Here,” he offered the champagne, “it’s your favourite. Special reserve.”

“I don’t drink anymore,” you declined as you looked beyond him and to the hundreds of guests, some watching curiously as they recognised you despite the months of absence. “I like to keep a clear head.”

He scoffed behind the guise of a laugh and tipped the drink back himself before passing the empty glass back to the waitress. From the faraway look in his eyes it wasn’t his first drink, or even his third. “What happened to the ‘life of the party’?”

You rolled your eyes at the dig on your past. “Charles, you’re going to be a father soon and you're acting like a child.”

He stepped closer and you smelt the alcohol on his breath as he whispered angrily in your ear. “I didn’t ask for this, not with her. This was meant to be us someday.”

“Oh my god,” you laughed humorlessly. “You know what your problem is? You live exactly like how you race. You don’t know where the limit is until you’ve pushed too far.”

“You still watch my races?” he asked, hope lighting up his face.

“Of course I do,” you sighed. “But I don’t enjoy seeing you put yourself into the barriers every week because you never learn when to stop.”

His head fell and he scuffed his dress shoes on the gravel footpath. “It wasn’t on purpose-”

“It just happened,” you finished for him with a small chuckle, remembering the voicemails and the text messages from the day you left. “Yeah, I’ve heard that excuse before.”

“Hey baby, who’s this?”

You had seen her face plenty over the last seven months, first for the images that ended your relationship and then for the breaking news that Charles Leclerc was going to be a father. The tabloids had plastered the news of how he was in love with the former dancer from Las Vegas so much that it felt like a personal vendetta against you. But from the cringe he tried to hide when he heard her voice showed it was just another lie.

His hand came to rest on the small of your back as he turned and introduced you to his girlfriend, Sapphire (you still weren’t sure if it was her stage name or her real one, but it was what everyone called her), and her eyes narrowed as she took note of the touch before you could move out of his reach. You felt bad for the woman because it wasn’t her fault, she was just in the right place at the right time when he had an itch that needed scratching.

Now they were going to be parents together.

“I only came to wish you all the best,” you said softly as she cradled the large swell of her baby protectively and you turned to Charles. “You and your family.”

“You’re not going to stay?” he asked as you took another step back, but still he followed. “You came all this way.”

“I just wanted to drop the gift off in person.”

His shoulders sagged in defeat and he brushed a hand through his messy hair. “So that's it?”

“Just let her go, Charlie,” Sapphire said, missing the roll of his eyes at the moniker he hated to hear. She was completely oblivious to him, she didn’t even know him, not truly but maybe that would come with time.

She placed a possessive hand on his chest to keep him from taking another step in your direction before gasping and clutching her ribs, finally getting his attention. “All the excitement is making Jules kick like crazy.”

Charles’ head snapped in your direction but you just smiled. “It’s a great name. A big one to live up to as well,” you said sincerely. You had long given up on the idea of having a family with Charles, so hearing the name of a child that was only a figment of your imagination no longer hurt. “Make his namesake proud, please.”

“I’ll try,” he muttered halfheartedly. “Are you sure you can’t stay longer? There’s still a box of your things in storage, I could take you to get them.”

“I took everything that meant something to me, you can throw away whatever’s left behind.” You looked at your phone to see the time and sighed. “I need to go.”

“Boyfriend waiting for you?” The tone was a little too crisp to just be called curious and he relaxed slightly when you shook your head.

“I’m just enjoying my own company at the moment.” A real smile graced your face at the honest statement.

You had been completely free to do as you pleased and you had surprised yourself with how much you were loving it. All your adult life you had been surrounded, smothered, by Charles and his friends, his job and his fans. You had finally learned who you were but you weren’t done exploring yet. And until that time came, being single was how you wanted to stay.

“You look happy,” he stated a little bitterly.

“I am happy, Charles, and I hope you can be too.” You nodded your head in farewell and started to walk away before remembering the car ride into the city. “I heard your song on the radio.”

“Really?” His eyebrows furrowed together at the mention of the song he had written for you.

“You finally figured out how it ended.” You grinned and his lips twitched with the first sign of a smile since arriving. “It was perfect.”

His nose scrunched at the compliment. “It was a note short, like it ended too soon.”

“That’s why it was perfect. The last note fades to silence and you wait a heartbeat expecting more, only to realise there is nothing left.” You shrugged nonchalantly and looked across the large gathering full of smiles. “But that’s just my opinion. It doesn’t really matter how it ended, I guess, just that it did.”

You left Charles with a look of serious contemplation and Sapphire with one of relief. Perhaps she thought you were there to exact some scorned lover's revenge, but you no longer carried around the suffocating weight of hate and spite, it was too draining and far easier to just let go.

Walking away this time wasn’t difficult. There wasn’t a crushing sensation in your chest or the sting of tears in your eyes. You actually wanted them to be happy. But you knew deep down that no matter how many children they had together, if they got married and spent the rest of their lives together - if you called, he would answer.

You were still his everything, and that would never change.

Click here for Charles’ ending.

Click here for Max’s ending.

#charles leclerc angst #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc imagine #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic #formula one imagine #formula 1 fanfic

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questionableratatouille00 · 8 months

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ᴘᴀʀᴛʏ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ ʀᴏᴄᴋꜱᴛᴀʀ

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Summary: Bucky hated Stark parties. He knew that. But how much is he able to take before he breaks?

Note: This is my submission for day three (sensory deprivation/overstimulation/isolation ) of @ailesswhumptober!

Warnings: Alcohol, drinking, cursing, descriptions of symptoms of being overstimulated.

---------------------------------------------

Bucky felt his breath get shorter as the loud music blasted through the Compound’s party area. He was technically an Avenger, which meant he was required to go to these stupid things.

God, he hated them. He hated the way the smell of alcohol flooded his nose and the way the loud music made his head hurt and the way the obnoxious lighting made his eyes sting and the way—

He took a deep breath. The collar of his suit felt too tight around his neck. He felt like he was suffocating, and like all eyes were on him, waiting for him to snap. He shifted his legs, trying to find a more comfortable way to stand. Then he shifted them again. Unable to find comfort in any way he stood, he found his irritation growing.

He desperately wanted to shut his eyes and go hide in the elevator, but he knew how strange he’d look, and his feet were planted in the floor anyway. He felt himself inhale a little every time a drunk person stumbled nearby. Stark’s parties were known to have…handsy people in attendance.

Bucky scowled as the overhead lights flashed again and again and again, only increasing his stress and headache. He eyed the room, unconsciously checking for threats. When he caught himself doing so, he bit his bottom lip, ashamed. He knew he was safe and that he was in the Avengers Compound. So why didn’t his brain?

He felt an overwhelming amount of shame as he realized how tight his metal fist was clenched. He surveyed the room yet again, this time in search of you. Where were you?

He looked for you for what felt like years, even though it only could’ve been seconds. His legs felt hollow, like straws. He wondered if he looked out to other people, which only added to his stress. Did he look fidgety? Or maybe too stiff? Was he swaying or rocking, or did he look frozen?

————————

You laughed as you took another sip of your drink, listening to Sharon’s story. Natasha laughed with you, also sipping on her own drink.

“Speaking of boyfriends,” you smile, “I have to go find Bucky.”

“Where is he, anyway? I haven’t seen him all night.” Natasha realized.

“I’m sure he’s around here somewhere. I’ll see you guys later, alright?” You shouted over the loud music, setting your drink down on the party-area-kitchen counter as you walked into the main area.

You looked around the crowd. People danced in clusters, and you quickly found Thor in the crowd, his large build and height setting him apart. His booming laugh was louder than the music, and you were about to walk over to him before you noticed the group of women he was talking to. Better leave him be, then, you thought as you grinned.

You spotted Steve, talking to Sam off on a balcony area. You began to walk towards them before you spotted your metal-armed boyfriend off in a corner. You studied his stance, his expression. He shifted uncomfortably every few seconds, like something was irritating him. He looked stressed, his face contorted in a pained expression, though it was clear he was trying to hide it. He maintained a neutral demeanor for the most part, but whenever he looked to the ground you could see his true expression.

You began to cross the dance floor, stepping past dancing couples and groups.

“Bucky?” You called over the aggressive beat of the song currently playing.

His gaze flicked to you, his jaw set and her stare hard.

“You okay?” You questioned, tilting your head.

“I’m fine.” His voice was short, snappy.

You took a step back, raising your hands in surrender. “Okay. Okay.”

A look of regret crossed his features as he opened his mouth to speak. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it to sound like that.”

“I know. What’s going on?” You invited the conversation, hoping that he could at least try and express what was bothering him.

He opened his mouth to speak, but he closed it. He did this a few times as his gaze shifted around the room, never staying on one thing for longer than half of a second. You noticed how tense he was, how rigid his stance was.

He rotated his neck a bunch, like he was trying to escape the collar of his suit.

“Hey, come with me.” You offered him a hand, and he took it gingerly.

You lead him to the hallway that connected with the rest of the Compound, the security robots not stopping you after they quickly took a facial scan. When you did this, you made sure to stay away from large clusters of people or the speakers and lights.

Stepping into the closest room you could find, which happened to be a conference room, you shut the door behind the two of you.

“Is that at least a bit better?” You kept your voice quiet. He nodded, running his right hand over his face. You grabbed an unopened water bottle off of the little counter in the corner of the room, handing it to him. “Drink some of that.”

He did as he sat down in one of the office chairs. You knew the serum dialed his senses to like, eleven, but you didn’t know how bad it could get.

You waited in silence for a little while, not wanting to make the situation worse.

“I’m sorry.” He said after a while.

“For what?” You asked genuinely.

“For snapping at you. And then making you leave the party. And then..this.” He gestured around vaguely.

“Buck, I don’t care about the stupid party. You matter much more to me than some rager.” You smiled. “I don’t really care for them that much, anyway. I could have cocktails with Nat and Sharon and whoever else whenever. I’d rather be here, making sure you’re alright.” You reassure.

He smiles softly, and his eyes tell you what he’s thinking: I love you.

“Wanna head up to our room? My feet are killing me.” You suggested.

He nodded. “Yeah. C’mon, I’ll carry you.”

“Nuh-uh.” You grinned.

“Uh-huh.” He got up from his seat, and you squealed as you tried to get away. The laughter emanated from the two of you echoed as you raced down the halls.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #ailesswhumptober2023 #bucky x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #mcu #marvel #bucky barnes x you #bucky x you

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littlemissomega · 9 months

Text

How Low Can You Go ?

Diabetic!reader x Stucky

Summary: reader’s blood sugar drops in the middle of the night

Warnings: Dangerously low blood sugar, low blood sugar symptoms (head racing, shaky, brain fog), crying, blood, mention of glucose tablets (which is kinda a medication? It helps get your blood sugar up), orange juice, fluff, pet names (Ladybug, princess, sweetie, honey, etc)

Short and sweet enough to give your hyperglycemia (high blood sugar)

For reference, any blood sugar below 70-80- depending on your dr- is considered low

Masterlist

Why is my heart pounding? Y/N wonders groggily as her eyes flutter open. She can tell something is wrong. Her skin feels clammy and her whole body is shaking. Y/N slowly sits up, looking around confused. Her brain feels foggy and she can’t think straight. Tear well in her eyes from the frustration and she put her face in her hands.

“Are you okay, baby?” Bucky asks, voice thick with sleep.

Y/N bursts out in tears and he shoots up in bed.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” he asks, putting a hand on her cheek. Her skin is cold and sticky under his palm, “Steve, wake up,”

Y/N feels Steve sturs and sits up on her other side.

“Ladybug, what’s wrong?” Steve asks, rubbing her back.

“Don’t kn-know can’t think heart don’t know don’t fee-feel good,” Y/N sniffles.

“What’s your blood sugar?” Bucky asks, turning on the lamp.

Y/N squeezes her eyes shut, nuzzles her face into Steve’s chest in the bright light.

“Huh? Don’t know too dizzy,” she whimpers.

“It’s okay, princess, we’ll make it all better,” Steve soothes, wrapping his arm around her and Bucky grabs her phone off the nightstand.

Bucky goes straight to her Dexcom app.

“Shit,” he mumbles, pushing the blankets off and jumping out of bed.

“What? What is it?” Steve asks, tightening his grip about Y/N

“40.1 (2.2mmol/L) with double arrows down,” Bucky calls as he runs down the hall to the kitchen.

Bucky’s hands tremble as he grabs two bottles of orange juice from the fridge, as well as Y/N’s glucose tablets.

“Let’s manually check, baby,” Steve suggests, gently turning her so her back is against his chest. He grabs her diabetes bag off the nightstand and gets the glucometer (what checks how much sugar is in your blood) out. He quickly puts a strip in before getting the lancet (finger pricker) out. He quickly cleans her shaking index finger with an alcohol swab before pricking this finger.

“Oww Stevie,” Y/N whines.

“I know baby, I’m sorry,” he soothes, wiping the blood up with the strip. Steve lifts her still bleeding finger to his lips and sucks on it gently. 3…2…1…

“39.3, Buck!” Steve calls, releasing her finger with a pop.

“That bad?” Y/N slurs.

“Don’t close your eyes, Ladybug, Bucky will be right back,” Steve tells Y/N, gently tapping her cheek as her eyes start to close.

“Don’t li-like it,” she responds. Steve wipes the tears from her cheeks.

“I know, baby. Here’s Bucky!” Steve points out as Bucky plops down on the bed.

“Here you go, Ladybug,” Bucky voices, opening the orange juice and lifting it to her lips.

Y/N struggles to part her dry lips, still feeling confused. The sugary, tart juice is a shock to her system and she almost chokes on it.

“There you go, baby, think up,” Steve whispers, placing a hand on the back of her head.

“Take this too,” Bucky adds, opening the glucose tablets and getting two out. He gently parts her lips with his thumb and places them on her tongue before lifting the juice back up. She swallows them without hesitating.

“You’re doing so good, honey,” Steve soothes, “Keep drinking it,”

Y/N obeys, swallowing until the last drop is gone.

“Do you think that’s enough?” Steve whispers.

“I think? I don’t wanna overtreat and it goes high. Let’s just wait 15 minutes and recheck,”

“Bucky?”

“Yes, baby,” Bucky responds, putting a hand on his girlfriend’s leg.

“I’m sor…sorry I woke you up,” she stutters.

“It’s okay princess! I’m sorry you’re feeling icky. You’re gonna start feeling better soon, honey,”

Bucky places a hand on Y/N’s cheek and she leans into it.

“I love you,” she mumbles.

“I love you too,” Bucky smiles.

“And I love you,” Y/N repeats, flopping her head back on Steve’s shoulder.

“And I love you too, Ladybug,” Steve chuckles, “You’re our best girl. Always,”

Masterlist

Taglist:

@liidiaaag

@flourishandblotts-inc

@aagn360

@smromanoff

@butyoudontlookdisabled

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nkogneatho · 2 years

Text

"𝐒𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓, 𝐁𝐈𝐆 𝐃!𝐂𝐊"

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐔

#m.list #series m.list #taglist #kofi

—cw: fem!reader, angst, smut, past trauma, abandonment, mentions of death unprotected sex, breeding, name calling (baby girl, queen), semi-public, mentions of alcohol, drunk sex.

—word count: 2.33k

—#𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐖

#𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: Your shitty parents abandoned you on a station. But you survived somehow for years, and ended up with this tall black haired hunk named Geto Suguru. He despised everyone else but you. He had enough room in his small heart for you. But you only realized it after a long time when his drunk self spilled secrets and fucked you good, claiming you.

Reblogs are appreciated.

Poor kids get abandoned here and there. No one cares for them. No one issues any complaints of them going missing, no one bothers if they see a poor child walking alone. Probably because you looked unhygienic to them. Your clothes were dirty, You hadn't bathed in days, and your walk was slow and creepy due to the lack of energy.

You don't even remember the faces of the parents that abandoned you. You just remember waiting at a train station with a rabbit keychain dangling, it's ring in your pinky. People did ask you why were you waiting there and asked if they could help you drop you at your home. But being both naïve and smart, you denied because you were taught not believe strangers and stayed there believing your parents might come. How foolish. Only if you trusted that unknown lady instead of your blood, then maybe your life would've been different. Regardless, you are glad to be where you are now.

“So, what plans do we have for today?” You heard a voice emerge from the kitchen as you mindlessly scrolled the tab that you were researching, on the sofa.

“We have to meet Sasaki-san for the exorcism. His daughter is showing all the symptoms of being,” you informed.

He walked closer to where you settled, his naked arms flexed as he pushed his hands against the armrest of it.

“So, what grade do you think it is?” He asked you in a soft voice. He always made sure to lace his voice in sugar before conveying his words to you. It was not fragility, but intimacy.

You but your lips trying to figure the answer, recalling the symptoms.

“It seems as if it's a B-grade. I would've finished them on my own, but we need this to capture more strong curses for you.”

You were building an army which was going to take long, but you were patient. In order to build a better world, a world Geto desired.

It was night and a call for celebration since you were almost halfway towards your goal. Everything was falling back into its place. But someone kept falling down. Suguru clearly had too much to drink. He has low tolerance, but the bartender kept mocking, so his hurt ego had to gulp down a few more shots before his legs became a wobbling mess, and his body weight rested on your shoulders.

“You didn't have to drink all that, you know?” He walked straight towards your car.

“Mhm,” he mumbled. “But he thought you were dating a loser.”

“Yeah, that was bold of him to assume we were dating. And secondly,” you opened the door to your car, plopped him inside, “low alcohol doesn't make one a loser.”

“You don't know this cruel world, y/n.”

“So who's gonna drive? We're both buzzed,” you asked while looking for your phone in the purse. You connected it to the car speaker playing 'The night we met' by Lord Huron. It was one of your favorite songs.

Suguru didn't answer your question. Instead, his lazy eyes were gazing at you. You could sense them while scrolling through the contacts to see who you could call to come and drive you two home. Scrolling and scrolling. But his gaze became irresistible and finally made your eyes contact his.

“What?”

“Just thinking how much of an idiot the guy was to think we're dating,” he answered, still looking at you. His words stung you. Were you that unattractive that he felt ashamed to be assumed that you two were dating?

“Why? Am I not someone who you'd date?” you asked.

“No,” he spat. You felt like you misheard something, but no. This was reality. Of course. Suguru and you always had a Platonic relationship. He was your savior and you were one of his important chess piece. It's not like you had a problem being that. Bare minimum has always been the most for you since the incident with your parents. You should be grateful to him. And you were.

“I see.” He noticed your face dropping when you finally broke the eye contact.

“It's because you're perfect. Perfect's not my type.” You were stunned by what you thought was a sudden compliment. But it warmed your heart too.

“What is your type? We've been together for so years, but that for me is still a mystery,” you asked, humming the song.

“Someone who is corrupted like me. Someone that can show me sides that I didn't know I had.” You once again tilted your face to him, noticing his eyes are on your lips this time. The song in the background suddenly got louder. Or was it the silence between you two that made it seem like it? What was the silence anyway? Was it you two thinking about something that you never had?

His hands were now lazily brushing on your thighs along with the smooth flow of the song. Your breath got heavy. You don't remember how it happened, but the next thing you knew, you climbed on his lap.

“I can be a little corrupted, you know?” Your fingers outlined his jawline, tilting them up.

“Mhm. Is that so? Do you want me to corrupt you completely?”

You did not answer in words. You answered in a deep, hard kiss. Soft lips, staining his in with your red lipstick. Moans emerged from his lips as he pulled you closer with his hand on your back. You have always felt safe in those hands. They were the one you held when he met you for the first time when you were scared. Those hands taught you how to use a cursed tool. And now those hands were holding your back in place, so he can explore your mouth. Silly little fingers started unbuttoning his black shirt. Although you didn't want it off him because he looked so fucking sexy in that.

“Impatient now, are we?” He grinned in the kiss.

“Fuck me. Please~” you begged. You begged. God did it turn him on so much. He never thought that you can say such filthy words. He always found it sexy when you rarely swore. But here you were now. Begging for him to fuck you. And he'd be a fool if he were to lose such a chance.

With no time-wasting, he popped the button of your shirt, exposing your matte maroon plunge bra. “Holy shit. Feel like I complimented your shirt for nothing. You look even better without it, baby?” Your cheeks burned up. Although you were unaware of what. The way that he was staring at your half exposed breasts, the compliment, or the nickname.

He didn't unhook your bra, but he pulled your boobs out of the cups that now rested under them. He licked his lips before mimicking the same action on your nipples. You felt them stiffened when he sucked them, poking his tongue.

While his mouth was busy, he unfastened his belt and buttons, unzipped and removed his cock out of his bottoms. Big hands reached yours and rubbed them against his cock. Embarrassment filled you when you felt him getting hard under your touch. You removed your hands, inched closer to his cock. With your skirt hiked up now, your clothed folds were grinding on his dick. The only moans you had heard from Suguru was when he brought some random chics home for a one-night stand. And dare the walls be so thin for you to slide a hand between your legs, dreaming that it could be you. Unconsciously, you'd been wanting to fuck him for so long. Yet, you realized it now. Though it wasn't late.

You moved the mismatched black panty line past your pussy lips, allowing your hole to be on display.

“Shit, baby. So wet already?” He cooed in your mouth. One of his hands traveled south where his dick was. Teasing your wet slit with his cock head, receiving a whine from you.

“Don't tease. Need you. Need ya in me.”

“You know, I fucking love how you always know to voice your needs,” was all he said before slipping it in you. Poor little hands held on to his shoulders for support. You bit your lips at the stretch, and he thought that was the naughtiest thing he'd ever seen.

“You're so big,” you praised, expressions somewhere between frown and amusement.

“Yet you're taking me like a champ. Just a lil' more, m'kay?” He grunted when your walls squeezed him. “There you go, baby. Keep sinking.”

“Sss. Can't anymore, Suguru. T—too big.”

“C'mon. I know you can do it f'me, babygirl,” he put his body weight in his back, causing the seat to lean behind, giving him more visual access to your shaking body.

Your entire weight rested on his thighs using the help of your hands. Meanwhile, his gripped your ass to lift you up and sink you back down slowly, making sure to stretch you out. Seven slow thrusts before his cock head found a perfect angle and space to hit your cervix. Being surprised with the unannounced action, your eyes widened as your bottom lip tugged between your teeth. Worrying he might've hurt you, he stopped. But to his surprise, you started bouncing on his wet shaft.

Suguru had to be stunned. All the girls he brought home and fucked them hard, grunting because he knew the walls were thin, and you could hear him. He made sure to narrate his actions, so maybe you'd get a little help if you were playing with yourself. He was so shocked to realize that after all these years of fucking other girls, closing his eyes and wishing it was your cunt, he finally got the real deal. Finally, the taste of the real fruit. And it was so much more than he imagined. No other pussy he fucked before could be compared to yours. You were shy, but you were also filthy. You weren't like those other hoes. Your cheeks burned up, embarrassment filling up your expressions, but your cunt said something else. As innocent your face looked, your pussy was ten times more filthy. Eyes stinging with tears of pleasure pouring down your cheeks but your cunt spilling juices on his dick that was too big for you fifteen minutes ago.

It was the same for you, you always wondered what Suguru looked like fuck you heard the headboard banging against the wall. Getting jealous of those bitches he fucked. Must be so good, since you heard them chanting his name like a fucking prayer all night. You barely got any sleep, tired of using your tiny fingers. But now here it was. His fat cock stuffing you like you always wanted—needed.

“God. Suguru! Keep hitting that and I'll—Ah. And I'll fucking cum.”

“Go ahead then, y/n. Make a mess on my cock. Wanna feel you cumming all over me.”

At this point, you didn't even care if your minuscules were visible to one or two people passing by on the empty street. It was dark, but your car light was lit enough to identify the indecent things you two were doing.

Your sweaty palms banged against the glass windows as your hips tightened. You chanted his name—just like those other girls would—as your orgasm hit you. Suguru had heard this name a million times. It's always “Suguru! Suguru fuck! Oh my god, you're making me cum so fucking hard.” Yet, it sounded different when you said it. Because others worshiped him as a god. While you stood equal to him.

“Sugu—Holy fuck! Do not fucking stop. Do you understand?” you grabbed his jaws. “Keep fucking me. Please. I wanna feel you cum in me.” How were you so captivating yet submissive is something that he had never understood.

It's this moment that made him realize what a fucking queen you'll make when he rebuilds the world. All the non-curse users dead, and all the shamans wrapped around your fingers. Because you already make such a great solider. Killing every human as he asks you too. Tracking every curse. You never once doubted his motives, unlike others. And that might be his favorite thing about you. About his queen.

“Fuck.” His pace increased, hips crashing in yours in an animalistic manner. It's like you flipped a switch in him.

“Gonna be my queen, babygirl. Once we get outta here, I am gonna fuck you—mhm fhhuck— fuck you all night in my bed. No. Our bed.”

“Wanna be your queen, Suguru. Please mark me up. Fill me with your cum.”

“Yeah? You want that? You bet I'm gonna. I fucking claim you right here,” and that's where his moves started getting sloppier. His grip on your waist tightened. It's like he was pulling you closer than it was possible, nutting inside you, painting your walls in his thick warm cum. Your head rested on his shoulders, his big hands caressed your back. He could feel your cunt overflowing and his seed spilling down his balls because he hadn't pulled out yet. But this was perfect. You would rather not be even an inch away from him right now.

“Holy shit, baby. You drove me crazy there,” he whispered in your ears.

“We have a long drive ahead. I'll drive you even crazier, so make sure to not pass out.”

“As you wish, my queen.” It's like you had flipped your personality. You were finally able to see the big picture. Finally able to dream of those things your trauma told you not to. A big world rebuilt by you and him. If there would be no humans like your parents, there would be no discrimination. A perfect world, indeed. And you finally understood his plans. He might have a small heart, but he has a big dick. And even bigger brain. Geto is a fucking mastermind.

Taglist: @hyenalite @katsukichu @jjstsksen @dukina @koifish69 @bbytamaki @kyanyakya @suyacho @certified-dilfhunter @romiyaro @aasouthteranoswife @xxrwzy @xo-lynx @crtlove-com @mutsu422 @hollowpurpl @megumischubbycheeks @sleepy3 @valhallawhispers @kirislilwhorewife @exodiark @dassmyname @chaotic-nick @crackheadwithtoes @lordbug98 @hanmasbunny @jujutsukaisenfan @eyetachi @kawaiitoga @m00k83 @imvivian @hoe4katsuki @ryumiii @lumpywolf @stygianoir @kaylabee06 @luvjiro @vodkasjedi @ebiharachan @sauza @sanjithesimp @garoujo @callistos-woods @dorogaya-lena @taihjj @yuujispinkhair @temptedbysyn @coffee-on-a-rainyautumn @tojidilfs

#geto x reader #geto smut #geto suguru x reader #jjk x reader #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen smut #getou suguru x reader #geto suguru x y/n #jjk fanfic #jujutsu kaisen #geto suguru #geto suguru angst #jjk fluff #geto suguru fluff

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lotusbxtch · 3 months

Text

don't ruin this on me

Pairing: f!Reader x post-outbreak Joel

Rating: Mature (mentions of smut)

Word count: 861

Warnings: Mentions of smut, mentions of heart attack symptoms, mentions of alcohol, aaaaaaangst so much angst, no use of y/n. Not beta'd.

a/n: for whatever reason, I am all up in my feelings tonight and felt the need to write an angsty little drabble about lonely Joel & lonely pining Reader. Consider this a stream of consciousness I needed to word vomit onto Tumblr since isn't that what this place is for?

It's 2 am, the trees outside casting long shadows on your walls in the full moon's light. You shift restlessly in your flannel sheets, not from the cold, but from your own thoughts. There's an ache in your chest, a little pinch that blossoms deeper and spreads slowly. If you didn't know any better, you'd think you were having a heart attack -- you'd always heard that women's symptoms were more subtle than men's; the feeling of an immense elephant slowly crushing the life from you. But you know exactly what this is, and your eyes seek it out through your bedroom window. Seek him.

Just outside the glass, you see the silhouette of the house. His house. At night, everything in shades of grey, devoid of the color of life that the daylight brings. You think that this must be what the world looks like to him.

Ever since you moved in next door to Joel Miller, something deep in you changed. It felt magnetic, like kismet. The moment your eyes met his, something clicked, cracked, slowly hairline fractured in your soul. Something said "oh, there you are," whispered it in the pit of your heart, and you desperately wished it wasn't so. Because you swore you could see that glimmer of recognition the second your hand touched his, shaking it after introducing yourselves. You knew he felt it too. Could see his breath quicken for a few moments, something softening in his gaze. And then the tiniest pinprick of fear flashing in his eyes, and you could almost see him physically shut it out. And then nothing. Cold detachment. The chill went bone-deep, and you could never seem to escape it.

Joel was alone. He was always alone. Try as you might, more often than not, so were you.

You rolled the sheets around your body, wrapping up your arms and legs, holding yourself, desperately willing the feeling away. Knowing that you were literally yards away from him, and yet never seeming to be able to bridge that gap.

You thought things might have been different for a second a few months ago. Tommy and Maria had dragged you and Joel out for drinks, and after Joel disappeared for a few minutes, you went looking for him. You found him around the corner, looking up at the sky, fat fluffy snowflakes beginning to cascade down.

"Joel..." you said softly. He turned, meeting your eyes with your name cascading off his lips. It was the sweetest your name had ever sounded to you. He just stared at you, neither of you saying a word, but your eyes locking and speaking volumes. You stepped up to him, stopping when your feet nearly touched. Slowly, you reached out and brushed your fingertips over his arms, across the soft leather of his jacket. His eyes followed the motion, his breath deepening and quickening. Your lips parted as you breathed in to say something, anything, but nothing could come out. Joel felt your inhale and shifted his eyes back to yours. The fire in his gaze seared you, sent shockwaves through your chest, your arms, your core. His fingers twitched at his sides as you kept looking at him, reaching up to touch his jawline, the little heart-shaped patch in his beard that you loved so much.

"Please," you breathed simply. Begging. Pleading. Saying so much in only one word. You wanted him to know you could give him so much, so many things he was missing. Warmth, laughter, passion, care, simple companionship, understanding. You wanted so desperately to kiss his plush lips, drag him back to your home, spend the next week slowly pulling his defenses apart in your bed, laying his heart out for yourself, soaking in him, letting the pain seep out of the cracks, replacing it with happiness. Wrapping your body around him, surrounding him in every way until he had no choice but to let you in, to let you see him, to drain away his sins and his anxieties and his regrets. To drown the demons out with your moans, your sighs, your hips, your flesh, your wetness, your pleasure, to give and receive as you well pleased. Whispering, shouting, screaming his name as he took and took and took. To love him and love him and love him. Until he forgot why he built up those walls, and gave himself wholly to you.

To love you.

But just as soon as you saw the fire, you saw him snuff it out. The embers barely burning, dying, he skimmed the side of your face with his rough hand. "Darlin', I can't. I can't. You don't need me, you don't want me, I'm bad for you. I can never be good for you."

And then he simply walked away, into the cold streets, back to his home. And those hairline fractures shifted and splintered until the entirety of you broke. And ever since then, you've felt hollow laying here at night. Alone.

A single tear slips down your face. A hurt that will never heal, when the man who could fix it is right there. And yet never close enough.

#I should be sleeping #instead i'm pining away for a fictional man #pedro pascal #joel miller #joel miller fanfic #joel miller x reader #joel miller angst #pedro pascal cinematic universe

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