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the-cult-of-russo · 1 year

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Just Beneath The Flames (Part 14)

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader

Warnings: cursing, smut at some point probably lmao, zombie shit, typical canon violence. You know the drill.

A/N: Okay so for the mini-arc of Reader going on her quest to find the others, I decided to do subheadings for what day she’s on in her journey for each little part. In case you didn’t know already, I’m not from the US, I’m from the UK. American geography is something I know nothing about so I consulted my trusty friend, Google Maps for this to figure out how long it would take walking, how many hours etc. I legit sat there writing down how many hours she’d travel a day, ‘cause she’d need to set up at night to be safe and all that shit, so I worked out what I thought was realistically a good amount of time for her to travel each day, allowing for any shenanigans that might happen along the way. You guys made me do math for you, I hope you're happy loooool

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Day One

It was still dark as you traipsed around the woods, your body and thumping head on high alert as you did. It felt like with every little noise you heard, your hopes would shoot up in hopes it was someone you knew, only to find out it wasn’t. Part of you had started to wonder if you were hallucinating things when you thought you heard someone talking only to find a dead one instead. Last you checked, you were pretty sure the dead couldn't talk. You were a little slower with your navigation with how disorientated you were, trying to remember the way back to the old camp. When you got close enough, you stopped still when you saw the faint glow of a campfire behind the trees, your heart picking up a little. Either your old group was here or a new one had set up, you couldn’t be too sure. With the carnage you’d witnessed not too long before fresh in your mind, you held your knife tighter in your hand as you made your way over. You couldn't hear any talking, not even a faint murmur. The closer you got, the only sounds you heard were the crackling of the fire and sniffling. You tensed a little, moving through the last of the trees to see a figure sitting beside the fire with their head resting on their arms. It wasn't just any figure though and you felt like your heart shattered and then put itself back together in one fell swoop.

“Billy…” you murmured softly, voice trembling as you felt your eyes prick with tears. Despite your voice being not much more than a whisper, his head shot up, his tearful and shocked face staring at you. For a moment, he didn’t move and just blinked at you looking like he’d seen a ghost and all you could do was stand stock still like a statue as your brain tried to digest that you’d found him. Only him. Where were the others? You wiped your face and the movement seemed to snap him out of his trance as he shot to his feet. He was on you in seconds, his arms wrapping around you so tight, you almost couldn't breathe.

“Y/N… I-I…” he sobbed brokenly, clutching you like a lifeline as you clung to him too. Your own face was tear stricken and you moved away, hands moving to cup his face as you looked him over. Despite how bad he’d been when you’d had that talk on the back porch that day, you’d never seen the man look so wrecked and devastated, tears cascading down his cheeks in rivulets as he tried to catch his breath.

“What happened?” you asked quietly, dread coating your tone as your thumbs swiped at his tears. He closed his eyes, shaking his head and his hands came to rest over yours on his face. His mouth opened and closed and you had no idea just how bad this was, no idea what he was trying to tell you. He was in no state to say anything though and you carefully guided him to sit back down with you beside him, trying to keep yourself together so you could help him. When you both sat down, he snatched one of your hands, holding it tightly like he had no intention of letting it go and you didn’t really want him to. You might not have found everyone but you'd found Billy and for the most part, he looked okay.

“I thought... I thought you were dead,” he bit out once he got his sobs under control. His voice was raw sounding, his dark eyes shiny and imploring as he stared at you like he thought he’d never see you again. His free hand moved to the blood-stained side of your head and the look he gave you made your heart break and stop altogether. You squeezed his hand and sniffled, wiping your face with your free hand as you shook your head.

“I woke up and it was dark, you guys hadn’t come for me and I couldn't get through on the radio… I went back and I… I saw the cabin. Billy, what happened?” you asked more insistently, you wanted answers, you needed to know. He nodded, seemingly coming back to himself a little more now he was in your presence.

“Me and Frankie were about to set out for you and… the other group just… It was an ambush. We heard the explosion upstairs and before we could do a damn thing, gunfire was tearin’ up the place. They used some kind smoke grenade and we couldn’t see shit. Me and Frank… we were trying to lead the charge and we got Matt to lead the others to the truck from the back, we needed to get ‘em outta there. We managed to push through the front but there was smoke everywhere, bullets flyin’ all over and then-then the dead came. Frank kept screamin’ at me to fall back, tellin’ me we needed to leave but I-I couldn’t. It was like bein’ back overseas all over again. I told him I’d be right there but I couldn’t stop until every fucker was dead. When I was done, the truck was gone, they had to leave. And I don’t know if-if anyone got hit, if they're alright, nothin’... I came here hopin’ they’d come but they ain’t been by yet. I don’t know what's goin’ on,” he rambled with a deep frown and a haunted look on his face.

“They’ll be okay,” you said firmly, making him look at you uncertainly like your words meant the world to him. It made you swallow thickly knowing you were breaking your own rule of not making promises you couldn't keep. But you couldn’t believe otherwise, you refused to think that they hadn’t made it and you sure as fuck needed Billy to stop looking like his world was crashing down around him.

“Before I came here I… I went and found the gas station you were at. You said you were hurt and you didn’t answer back when I walkied you after and I thought… I got there and the place was full of the dead, a half-eaten corpse on the floor and I thought it was you and I-” he clamped his mouth shut firmly as his tears started again, lowering his head as he shook it lamentingly.

“After everythin’ that happened, my first thought was you and I needed to get to you. And-And I’d failed. I failed my family and I failed you and I just…” he sobbed, his shoulder shaking and you moved your hand from his to wrap your arms around him. He leaned into you, face pressing into your neck as he grabbed you tightly, his fists bunching in the back of your jacket.

“You didn’t fail anyone, Billy,” you murmured soothingly through the lump wedged in your throat.

“You coulda died back there… all alone with no one comin’ for you,” he lamented with a sniffle and you stroked his hair, closing your eyes tightly.

“But I didn’t, I’m fine. You had more important shit to be dealing with. None of this is on you,” you frowned and he moved away, shaking his head with a face that told you he didn’t believe you one bit.

“This is on me! You’ve been sayin’ since this new group came up that we should head down to the safe house but me and Frankie were too proud to admit we should leave. We let our goddamn egos get in the way, made all of you stay. This is on me because I shoulda backed you up, shoulda insisted we went down there because it was safer. And now… they got out but it don’t mean they're fine. They could have bled out in the fuckin’ truck for all I know,” he sneered at himself, wiping his face so angrily you were supposed he didn’t punch himself in the face.

You weren't sure what to say to him to make him feel better when you held the same worries. They could have been hit by a bullet or got bit on their way to the truck, anything could have happened to them.

“You can blame yourself all you want and I know you will, but I don’t blame you one bit. You did what you thought was best for the group. None of us know what's waiting for us down in Virginia, Billy. We could wind up there with nothing and be at square one all over again. The only people to blame here are the ones that caused this. The ones that were fueled by greed and violence, starting a war for no fucking reason. We can’t make sense of needless violence like that, it’s out of our hands. There's always been evil in the world but it's even worse now it's every man for himself. A wise man once told me to let go of my guilt before it buried me. That bad shit just happens and there's not a damn thing we can do to stop it. That drowning it in won’t help anyone. Those words helped me more than I think he knows and I think you should take that advice,” you insisted, eyes wide and imploring as you looked at him. He blinked at you for a moment, recognition blooming on his face at the fact he was that wise man and that you’d remembered those words he’d told you all that time ago.

“I just… I just feel like I didn’t do enough,” he whispered with a frown and you took his hand once more, making him look to your joined hands.

“I know… Trust me I get that more than anyone. But right now, we need to focus on what we can do, not the shit that's in the past that we can’t change. The others made it out, that we know. They’re out there somewhere. So we wait here until tomorrow and if they don’t turn up, we make our own way down to the safe house because that’s where Frank would go, right?” you asked him, trying to sound like you were taking charge even if you felt like you had no clue what you were doing. He nodded, the movement jerky as he once again wiped his face with his free hand. Trying to keep away from the awful fear gripping you both, you opened your bag and got out a can of mushroom soup, opening it with your pocket knife before handing it to him. He gave you a weary smile before he chugged some of it, handing it back to you for you to have some as you sat by the warmth of the fire. You tried to ignore the burning in your chest at how much you’d lost. Not just the people that you were telling yourself you would definitely find, even if it killed you, but more so the place. The safety, the sense of home. You’d left so much behind back in the cabin and it wounded you deeply to have to start again like this. You felt eyes on you, turning to see Billy watching you with a look you couldn’t place as you finished the soup. It made you feel a little self-conscious as you wiped your mouth with your sleeve.

“When I saw that body in the gas station bein’ fuckin’ munched on by the dead… it felt like someone ripped out my beatin’ heart and stuffed it right into a fuckin’ blender. I haven’t… I haven’t felt that pain since… since Maria and the kids. After the shit that went down at the cabin, all I could think about was you, that if I could find you, it’d all be okay. And then… I couldn’t even bring myself to check the body, I just thought it was you and the world stopped turnin’. And I know the others got out and I know Frank’s a tough son of a bitch, I know even if someone got hurt that he’d make sure they were okay and get ‘em all to safety. But once I thought you were dead, I felt like I’d lost everythin’. I felt like I had nothin’ left and any hope I had for everyone else just… just fuckin’ left me,” he admitted in a murmur and it made your chest ache so fiercely that it felt like it might cave in. You looked away at the weight of his gaze, toying with the empty can in your hands before glancing back at him and he was still watching you intently.

“I thought you were dead too, I thought all of you were. When I got to the cabin and saw… I was devastated, just absolutely broken. But I knew I had to check, I had to see with my own eyes. I didn’t leave until I checked every body there and each time I turned one over I felt like I might throw up because it could have been you or one of the others. I’m so sick of losing people. I’m sick of grief and guilt and loss and pain. I wanted to give up so badly, I almost did, but I forced myself to get back up. Told myself you had to be out here somewhere and I needed to find you all. That's how I wound up here… with you. And no matter what happens, no matter what we find or don’t find, we have each other,” you replied softly, uncertainty lacing your words. His hand gripped the back of your neck as he pulled you over to him, placing a firm and sweet kiss to your head before his arm snaked around your shoulders and held you to his side.

“I’m glad you're here,” he breathed, leaning his head on yours.

“I’m glad you're here too,” you smiled, despite it all.

Day Three

You and Billy got no sleep that first night after how amped up you were. The whole day had been anxiety-inducing as you both waited to see if Frank or the others turned up but no one ever came. You started to think they’d just made their way down to Virginia right from the start and tried to ignore that horrible voice in the back of your head that told you they didn’t come because something bad had happened to them. There were numerous reasons why they could have gone straight to the safe house instead of making a pit stop here. They might have had to flee in the opposite direction and thought it would be too late by the time they got here, they could have just thought it was the best move to make, knowing you or at the very least Billy would know where to find them there. Maybe someone was injured and they had to deal with that first. You really weren’t sure just why they didn’t turn up, but they hadn’t so the next day at first light, you’d shared another can of shitty soup before you headed off out. Billy didn’t have anything on him but luckily, the bag you’d grabbed had a map in it from whoever used it before you. You were grateful because otherwise you’d have to go on a quest to find one and it would eat into your time. The journey would be a long one on foot and it wasn’t like you could both travel solidly with no breaks or rest. Billy had looked at the map and picked a route, one that avoided big cities because neither of you had a death wish. The usual banter you both had was nowhere to be seen. It wasn’t exactly strained between you both but the air was heavy, pressing down between the pair of you. Things were still a little too much to deal with.

“Do you think I could wash up in the creek before we head too far out?” you asked hesitantly. You were still caked in blood and felt gross but you also didn’t want him to snap at you for wanting to be clean more than wanting to find everyone. He looked at you before nodding, a thoughtful look on his face.

“Yeah, that’s a good idea. I’ll wash up too,” he murmured. You felt yourself relax that he wasn’t mad. Neither of you knew the next time you’d have the chance to get clean and you didn’t want to walk around with dried and crusted blood tugging at your skin. It was still cold but the cold bite of winter was starting to ease a little. You knew the water would be cold and with nothing to dry yourself, you’d be pretty chilly afterwards but you didn’t mind. It was a shame you didn’t bring any spare clothes, you hated putting dirty ones back on after getting clean. You both took turns much like you had in the past and you longed for the running showers that the cabin had. You hurried to get clean though, ignoring the sting of cold on your skin as you scrubbed yourself clean and then shoved your clothes back on uncomfortably. There were no cheeky remarks or playful comments this time. Billy had stood guard vigilantly and you’d done the same for him once you were done. There wasn’t time for playing around, not anymore. When both of you got clean, you set off on your journey once more. By the time night fell, your feet were on fire and your legs ached. You hadn’t dared ask for a rest and the pair of you shared a can of peaches as you walked earlier to try and keep your energy up. You were worried though. You hadn't packed too much, in a hurry to leave and find the rest of your group. You wondered if part of you hadn't thought you’d find them, you certainly hadn't packed enough food for two and you’d already gone through half of what you had. You were still in the woods and you both set up camp around some trees. It was cold enough for Billy to make a small fire, especially with you both still being damp and the air making it colder, but you were both hyper-aware of not wanting to be seen by anyone. As you both sat in front of the fire, the silence gnawed at you but you really didn’t know what to say. You were both too far in your own heads to hold a decent conversation.

“You should get some rest,” he murmured after a long while, the pair of you having some more canned peaches for dinner.

“What about you?” you asked pointedly. While yes, you were exhausted, he also looked as tired as you felt. Not only physically, but emotionally.

“We can take turns. I’ll wake you up after a bit and you can take watch,” he offered and you squinted at him, remembering the last time he’d agreed to that.

“You really better wake me this time, okay? We both need to get some sleep here or we won't get anywhere,” you warned him. He looked at you for a long moment before nodding and you had a feeling he would wake you this time because the matter of finding the others was way more important than him being chivalrous. You’d both been leaning against a large tree and not wanting to stray too far from him, you lay down right next to him, your back pressing against his legs as you lay in the dirt. You didn't have the luxury of a sleeping bag or even a blanket but you curled up, burying your face into your jacket as you closed your eyes and tried to get at least some sleep. Hours later, Billy was gently nudging you awake. It was still dark outside and you were glad he’d woken you up. You yawned before sitting up, rubbing your eyes as you leaned against the tree once more.

“You sure you don't need more sleep?” he asked as his concerned gaze pinned you in place,

“Get your ass to sleep, Russo,” you muttered, raising a brow at him that had his lips curling up a little. The sight was something to behold and your heart stilled in your chest for a moment.

“Yes, ma’am,” he smirked and you snorted with a roll of your eyes. He lay down much like you had, his back pressed against your legs and you found comfort in being so close to him like this. Your bow and arrows lay at your other side, your knife in your hand as you took guard over him as he slept. You weren’t about to get caught out, weren’t about to let anything happen to him while he slept. He was all you had left. Your eyes burned with how tired you felt but you forced yourself to stay awake and alert until the sun came up. You got out a can of tomato soup, noticing you only had one more can of fruit and one more soup until you had nothing. You knew you’d have to deviate from your planned route to try and find a store and see if they had anything. You’d also keep your eye out for any tracks you could pick up along the way.

You gently shook Billy awake, giving him a sympathetic smile as he blinked his eyes open. He hummed, nodding to himself as if trying to tell himself to get his ass up before he sat up and stretched a little with his arms above his head.

“Breakfast,” you muttered wryly, handing him the half-finished soup and he took it with a grateful smile, almost downing it in one. You’d all been spoiled for food at the cabin, even though you’d been carefully rationing it and you’d been constantly worrying about lacking in food. Now you really were lacking in food and you were kicking yourself for not bringing more with you. It was too late to dwell on it now though.

“We need to try and find a store or something soon. We don’t have much food left. I was thinking of trying to hunt a little before we head out today or even on the way. Maybe we could find something,” you suggested as you got your bag ready.

“Sounds good to me,” he nodded, giving you a small but encouraging smile. You felt yourself overwhelmed by gratitude that you weren’t alone on this journey, feeling like if you were it would be far too easy to just give up and give into the dark thoughts that seemed to always linger in the periphery of your mind.

“What?” he asked slowly and you suddenly noticed you’d just been staring at him, your cheeks flushing furiously.

“I’m just glad you’re here with me,” you admitted. He blinked at you for a moment before a bashful smile spread across his face and he took your hand, bringing it to his mouth before placing a tender kiss to it that made you feel like jello.

“I’m glad too,” he murmured, his dark eyes warm as they shone at you. It felt like all you could do was stare at him, getting sucked into the pools of obsidian as he just gazed at you.

“We should head out,” you said, looking away quickly as you realized your thoughts were heading into a territory they had no right in being. It was best to push those thoughts as far away as possible from you. He nodded, giving you a look you weren’t quite sure of before you both got up and got ready to leave.

Day Seven

“Goddamn it!” Billy yelled, angrily kicking over a stand and the sound seemed to echo off the walls of the empty store.

“Billy...” you murmured with a frown and he whirled around to face you.

“Don’t!” he warned bitingly as he pointed at you, his tone making your mouth clamp shut like a scolded child.

“We haven’t eaten in three fuckin’ days and this is the fourth store we’ve been to and it’s just… there’s nothin’ left,” he growled, raking his hands through his messy hair.

“I know you’re upset because you're hungry-” you started, once again getting cut off by the absolutely scathing look he sent your way.

“You think I’m upset ‘cause I’m hungry? I’m upset ‘cause you are! I’d be able to hear your stomach for fuckin’ miles!” he barked and you felt your cheeks heat up in shame as you lowered your head.

“We haven't been able to find a goddamn thing out there, not any animals, not any food. I don’t give a shit about food for me, I care about gettin’ somethin’ in you ‘cause you need it,” he muttered, a little less angry and now more despondent as he shook his head.

“You need to eat too,” you huffed, giving him a look. You’d forgotten what it was like to go without food for so long, only just remembering being without food for four days and how it had led you to Billy and Frank’s camp all those months ago. You’d gotten to Pennsylvania and after day four, you’d run out of food. You’d thought you’d be able to find something in the woods, even if it just wound up being a squirrel. All you’d found were the dead though and each store turned up nothing. You were worried but you tried to push on, hoping eventually you’d catch a break. It seemed like Billy was over being patient though. You knew he was feeling like a failure, you could read it all over his face. That he took some personal responsibility to take care of you and he felt like the lack of food was somehow his fault and like he wasn’t suffering too.

“Look, we can’t do shit about the store being empty. Let’s just keep going, stick to the woods and see if we can find something out there,” you said, giving him a look that told him you weren’t about to take no for an answer. With each passing day, he’d been growing more and more irritated, and while you knew it wasn’t direct at you, it made him more snappish and you were getting annoyed by it. You weren't having his personal issues cause problems for you both when you only had each other for company. It wouldn't help you both find food and it sure as fuck wouldn't help you get to Virginia. With one last look, you slipped back out of the store and walked to the tree line, not looking back but knowing he was following you.

“We’ll find something, okay?” you muttered after a while of you walking side by side. You glanced at his pensive face and he looked at you, his cold eyes softening a little as he blew out a breath and he nodded.

“Yeah,” he answered reluctantly, not sounding like he believed it much. After a few more steps, you felt him take your knife-free hand with his own and you looked to your joined hands quickly before his face. He was now looking guilty and sheepish and you knew he was feeling bad for snapping at you.

“I’m sorry for bein’ an asshole,” he frowned softly as his eyes moved back ahead of him.

“It’s fine. We’re both hungry and tired, we’re dealing with a lot. We can get through this though, right?” you raised a brow at him, a small smile toying on your lips and after a moment, a smile of his own appeared and it made you relax.

“Right,” he nodded, sounding a little more sure this time as he squeezed your hand.

You walked hand in hand for a while but eventually, you had to reluctantly untangle your hand from his as you got your bow and arrows ready, determined to find something on your way.

“Squirrel,” you murmured thoughtfully, crouching low as you inspected the tracks in the dirt. You’d been walking for a few hours now with no sign of anything but now you felt hope blooming in your chest and you tried to ignore the voice that screamed at you that hope was futile.

“That’s-That’s good,” Billy breathed, sounding hopeful himself and you shot him a smile before you stood back up. You both walked silently, him trailing behind you as you tried to track the squirrel and find it. Before long, you stopped dead, Billy stilling too, as you saw it at the bottom of a tree. While your love for animals never wavered, you’d admit the guilt you felt for killing them got less and less the longer you did it. It was just part of life now. You let your arrow fly and it hit the squirrel easily, killing it and pinning it to the tree, making you wince a little. Billy wasted no time in strolling right over, yanking the arrow out before picking up the squirrel as he gave you the most genuine smile you’d seen in days.

“Guess we got food for tonight,” he murmured wryly and you smiled. It wasn’t a lot and with the both of you needing food, you knew it would only last for dinner and nothing else. But it was better than nothing and would at least give you some energy instead of running on fumes. It wasn’t completely dark yet but with how hungry you both were, you set up camp right away with Billy making a campfire to cook the food. You demolished it in no time and it didn’t do much to quell the deep hunger that days without food had left but it did make you feel a little better and you’d take what you could get.

“Thank you,” Billy said softly after you’d both finished your food. You were licking your fingers clean as if trying to get every little bit you could when you glanced over at him.

“What for?” you asked curiously.

“The food… for not givin’ up on me and puttin’ up with my bullshit,” he scoffed with a smirk, looking a little sheepish as he twirled his knife around.

“I’ll never give up on you,” you said firmly and his eyes softened, a smile curling his lips. It made your heart pick up a little and you tried to keep your mind away from how he was making you feel. It was getting a little dangerous being one on one all the time with him like this, it was getting harder to ignore the feelings for him you had.

“Besides, I’m used to your bullshit. And Frank gave me permission to punch you once so…” you trailed off with a shrug and he snorted, looking away with a sad yet wistful look on his face and you instantly regretted your words.

“Yeah… sounds like Frankie,” he murmured wryly but you could hear the underlying hurt and you knew you’d been an idiot. Despite you both knowing exactly what this journey was about and who you were trying to find, you hadn’t outright mentioned anyone by name since you started as if to avoid the topic. You didn’t like him worrying or being hurt like this and you inwardly smacked yourself for being stupid enough to talk about Frank and opening that can of worms when you’d only just settled into a routine that didn’t involve mostly silence.

“I’ll take first watch, you get some sleep,” he said, a smile that didn’t reach his eyes on his face and you nodded, feeling guilt burrow deep inside of you.

“Goodnight,” you murmured before you curled up beside him.

“Goodnight,” he replied quietly and you frowned, closing your eyes and trying to get some sleep. You’d avoid mentioning people next time, avoid twisting the knife where you knew it lay buried in his chest. You really hoped you’d get to Virginia soon and that they’d all be there. You had no idea how you’d deal with it if they weren’t and you didn’t know if Billy could handle it. He’d been through loss before, just as you had and you didn’t want him to go through that again. Especially not when Frank was his best friend. You were terrified of what awaited you both down in Virginia and what that meant for the pair of you. You had no idea just things would play out.

Taglist: (if you’ve been asked to be tagged and aren’t here, it wouldn’t let me tag some people.)

@firexfate

@blanchedelioncourt

@on-ya

@sunshinedaisies-anddeath

@snowkestrel

@music-indie-tv

@idaofinfinity

@sweetserendipity65

@ramadiiiisme

@k-marzolf

@celestialams

@woowwwee

@noortsshift

@rainbowgoblinfan

#billy russo imagine #billy russo fanfic #billy russo x reader #billy russo

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papirouge · 5 months

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man, I wish Christian natalists wouldn't get so predator-enabling/breeder fetishy whenever they speak...

I was watching a videos about a Christian woman making a testimony of her pregnancy with risks, "putting back" together her ligated tubes, and explaining how the Bible says we should have as many children as God decides and not us (so no contraception), and yeah why not

but THEN she got like "why would God make girls to have their period at 10 if it wasn't to have children? Why would women wait until they're in their late 20s-30 (the average age of women getting their first child)?"

IDK girl, probably for the same reason grown women aren't sexing barely pubescent boys to get impregnated just bc they virtually can? ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

and then she explains she's from middle east and that her aunts/grandmother married respectively at 17 and 12 years old. Interestingly she didn't tell about their husbands age...🙃 ...and we all know how these marriage with weird age gap work in middle east... Even if Mary was 14 when she got pregnant like some pedo apologists argue (we never have evidence of that ofc), nothing says that Joseph was an old scrote old enough to be her dad.

She was like "yeah these marriage weren't perfect but they worked uwu" sticking into a marriage = marriage "working". Those marriage lasted because those women didn't have much alternative back then. Their backing support wasn't the same as those of modern/Western societies. Same in the West (because she also brought up old school family model with 8-10 kids). I mean, I'm ok for dunking on the sexual revolution as much as you want, but let's not act like access to a bank account, divorce and work didn't facilitate women nope'ing out of having big families. My grandparents stayed together until my grandpa died but I wouldn't say their marriage worked just because of that. Was she happy? Was she fulfilled? THOSE are the things that make a marriage working. Otherwise the Bible wouldn't tell spouses to treat well & cherish each other until death. Otherwise sticking together until the end would be enough.

She ended saying "when they get theirs period, young girls start having their hormones working.... If one of my daughter tells me she's interested in (marrying) a man I wouldn't tell her no" and that's how I noped out lmao

The excuse "hormones working" is like the WORST reason to get into marriage. When Paul said marriage was better than sexual immorality (sex outside marriage, masturbation), it was about people who weren't fit for celibacy, not those eaten by their flesh and eager get married just to have a valid situation to get their peepee wet.... The same Paul who said to not trust the flesh...but suuuure tHe hOrmOnEs 🤪

Also note how the "why would girls get their periods that early if it wasn't to get children" actually works both ways: if God wanted women to have children at 14 (like OP said) why would He make women have periods until their 60s? 🤔 Why would He made the window the be able to be a mother so WIDE (~50 years)?🤔Why did He show through the Bible several examples of MATURE women (not barely pubescent girls) getting children?🤔 The math ain't mathing.

She says, concerning the difficulty of having big families in the modern time, that God knew about how the world would work and would helps us go through it and therefore there's no reason to take contraception. Okie dookie, then why get mad at women getting children at later age?? God is good so he inspired doctors to make pregnancy safer at older ages. Women are living longer. Women don't have to get pregnant at 14 to hope seeing their children and grandchildren before dying. Why is it a problem?? 🤔 The Bible does ADAPT to a bunch of different lifestyle, so why not embrace it instead of shoving ONE model of pregnancy? Paul said that the good news was about FREEDOM.

She also said "it's said Mary was 14 when she got pregnant with Jesus uwu" WE LITERALLY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT AGE MARY WAS AND THAT'S BY DESIGN BECAUSE GOD DIDN'T WANT YALL WEIRDOS TO HAVE A WEIRD FIXATION WITH AGE TO BREED WOMEN. IT'S THE SAME WITH THE AGE OR DATE OF BIRTH OF JESUS AND CHRISTIANS SHOEHORNING THE CELEBRATION OF CHRISTMAS. GOD DISMISSED THOSE DETAILS ON PURPOSE BUT YOU GUYS ARE CONSTANTLY MISSING HIS POINT DESPERATELY TRYING TO CLING ONTO WHAT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE RELEVANT TO BUILD YOUR THEOLOGY AND LIFE DECISION.

#Christian #papi watch

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aquariaries · 1 year

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I saw this from @tournesolia and wanted to answer these myself!

I know it's a tag game but I have no one I talk to on here regularly enough to even be tagged in any fun stuff 😅 So I did it anyway lol

Diabolik Lovers Tag

1.- Who would you rather take to a night club, Carla or Azusa?

Hmmmm night clubs aren't my thing so its hard to say ... But I think I'll go with Azusa as I feel like he'd eventually start to have fun even if just a little bit.

2.- In a Science test would you copy Yuma’s test or Ayato’s test?

Yuma’s. While he may not be book smart like Ruki or Reiji, he's not totally ignorant to the world of science as gardening/farming requires a good deal of knowledge in that category so I feel like he'd be a better bet.

3.- Would you rather have Kino and Azusa or Shin and Laito, as your Butlers?

Shin and Laito. Shin because I'm biased AF since he's my 2nd fav boy and Laito seems like he'd be fun as a butler. I can see him getting into so many shenanigans 😆

4.- Go on a date with Reiji at an Aquarium or go on a date with Subaru at a Cafe instead?

Both sound lovely, but I'll take the aquarium date with Reiji. I love aquariums and Reiji is my favorite out of all the boys, so for me personally that's a date made in heaven 🥰

5.- Would you rather go support/see Kou at one of his Concerts or go support/see Shu at one of his Violin Performances?

Oooh another tough one. Normally I'd say Kou because I'm super curious to see how he acts as an idol on stage, buuuuut I don't do well at concerts because I have POTS and the loud environment coupled with standing for long periods of time can make me ill very quickly. So I think I'll have to go with Shu since it sounds more laid back and easy to sit through. I do love violin so I can't complain :)

6.- In a Math Project would you team up with Ruki and Shin or with Reiji and Yuma? Who would fight less with eachother?

Reiji and Yuma. Like I mentioned before with the science question, Yuma shouldn't be the worst with Math either considering he'd have to plan out his garden plots and the spacing between rows of crops which would require a lot of math to figure out. Would they fight a lot? Yeah probably but I see Yuma being more willing to work with Reiji vs Shin working with Ruki. I feel like Shin would get pissed real fast at Ruki's snarky attitude 😅

7.- Who would you put your bets on, Kanato eating the most chocolates or Ayato eating the most Takoyakis?

Both are very possible lmao but I'll put my bets on Kanato. Do not underestimate the sugar gremlin.

8.- Sleep in Carla’s room, Subaru’s room or in Shu’s room? (You have the room to yourself, they aren’t there) Would you peak on their stuff?

Shu's room. That man does nothing but sleep, you can't tell me he doesn't have the finest bed and bedding available. I bet sleeping in his bed would be like sleeping on clouds ✨️

9.- You’re a princess of the Victorian era! Your father has ordered that you have a bodyguard.. who would you choose as your personal bodyguard, Laito or Kou?

Kou, easily.

10.- Would you prefer to have Kino in his bat form as your pet or Shin in his wolf form as your pet instead?

Shin! Floofy wolf 🥰

11.- Break a fight between Kou and Ayato or between Laito and Kanato?

I'll go with Kou and Ayato. I feel like Kanato would be rather ... stabby if angered enough. I want no part of that.

12.- Who would you kiss on the cheek, who would you kiss on the forehead and who would you kiss on the eyelids?

Eyelids???? Cheek kiss for Subaru (you can't tell me he won't get flustered and turn red as a tomato, which would be absolutely adorable) forehead kiss for Azusa and eyelids kiss for Shin. The latter I'd specifically kiss over his eyepatch (idk if he'd be offended and punch me or totally melt but that's a gamble I'm willing to take-)

13.- Take care of Shu and Reiji in their Chibi form or take care of Subaru and Kino in their Chibi form?

Shu and Reiji!

14.- Sing/Perform in public Laito’s Q.E.D Song or Reiji’s Mr.ButterflyMask song?

Both are *chef's kiss* 😘👌 but I think I'll go with Q.E.D. as it's one of my favorite songs from the series. Like God damn. Laito did not have to go that hard 😩💚

15.- Would you rather wear Ruki’s casual outfit or Yuma’s casual outfit?

Yuma's because it looks cozy and I love the little belt strap chain thingy on the leg.

16.- Go on a Vacation trip with Shu, Kino and Ayato at a Amusement park or go with Shin, Azusa and Subaru at a Water Amusement Park?

Again, since I have POTS amusement parks are sadly too much for me anymore so I'll take the water amusement park with Shin, Azusa and Subaru. I LOVE swimming and it would be easier on me. Although I do not like water slides so I'll stick with the lazy rivers, wave pools and regular pools. Plus I like the 2nd group of characters as a whole more than the 1st group. (love Shu though)

17.- Would you rather get lost in a forest with Reiji, Kino and Kou or with Ruki, Carla and Kanato?

This is tough. The 1st group has Reiji in it (bias showing lmao) but the 2nd group has two of the smartest characters, but also the purple gremlin. I really really realllllyyyyy wouldn't want to be stuck anywhere, nonetheless lost in a forest with Kanato. But I'm sure Ruki and Carla would keep his ass in check so I think I'll take my chances with the 2nd group.

18.- Who would you cook breakfast for? Who would you make a scarf for? and Who would you do a drawing for? Options: Kou, Azusa, Shu.

Breakfast for Kou as he loves to eat, scarf for Azusa so he can have something comfy and the drawing for Shu since I can't see him caring enough for food or using a scarf tbh.

19.- Participate in a Circus as Carla’s Knife thrower assistant or go to a Casino with Shin and be offered as a bet/reward by him in the Roulette Wheel game? (So if Shin looses you’ll be taken away by whomever won)

Carla's assistant. I can't stand gambling in the first place, so the reality that I could easily be given away if Shin loses scares the crap outta me. I think I'll take my chances with Carla since I guess I trust his skills more. I don't like either of these tbh ;-;

20.- Who would you rather catch by accident taking a shower, Yuma or Kanato?

Yuma. I don't want anything to do with Kanato. Yuma would probably just be like "yo wtf" and tease me while Kanato would rage. Plus Yuma in the shower, need I really say more? 👀🧡

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #tag game #shu sakamaki #reiji sakamaki #ayato sakamaki #kanato sakamaki #laito sakamaki #subaru sakamaki #ruki mukami #kou mukami #yuma mukami #azusa mukami #carla tsukinami #shin tsukinami #kino #kino sakamaki

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marcholasmoth · 9 months

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OSRR: 3290

today was a day. i woke up before half past six by myself. joel's alarms went off for two hours. i laid awake the whole time. he didn't get up until after 9am. laying in misery is a specialty of mine. but i did get to tell him good morning and then get some more sleep once he went downstairs for work.

i finished my laundry today and showered and got dressed and set up my laptop so i could work with a student over zoom because she's been sick this last week. we worked for forty minutes or so and i decided that, "no, you're going to put this down and go take a nap and tell me how you're doing tomorrow." she didn't put up a fight.

i, as a math person, avoid doing math while sick. do not do math if you're sick. you will not do well. you will be confused and frustrated. it takes too much time and energy to be useful to do. just take the time and get better sooner. take the goddamn nap.

anyway.

after that i went and got lunch for me and joel from panera and after eating i went home! i got to talk to my momma a little bit and then i was off to the doctor. i'd sent a message last night about the warts on my heel and they replied this morning saying "you should come in today" so i said "okay i'm free in the afternoon" and they scheduled me around 4pm. so i went in and the doctor took pictures of my heels and put in a referral to podiatry to get them taken out. the doctor said they were some of the "more impressive" ones she's seen. which is wild. she also said that people come in with way less complaining way more and she was impressed by that, too. how im just casual with it instead of whining and being just like "yeah that's a thing" instead of "IT HURTS WAAAH" like that's me internally, yes, but externally? it's been there more than a year and a half. it's just a thing now.

she also looked at my finger and told me to get a tetanus shot because even though it's unlikely at this point, im still overdue for one by five years. so im doing that tomorrow.

i helped my momma make dinner and then after we went and got ice cream after i moved my car so james can get out tomorrow.

and now im in bed after having tried on the dresses and shirt my mom got for me. i have to hang all of my dresses up because i just don't know where they all are. there are SO MANY now and i am at a loss lmao

so that's my morning task tomorrow. besides eat something good for me. i need that, too.

#molly rambles #operation srr #osrr #3000s #3200s #sunshine boy

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robotslenderman · 11 months

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More on Zain

His full name, if he's trying to impress you, is Zain al-Shahir bin Zakariya bin Ibrahim. If he's trying to irritate you he'll add more names back seven generations.

Please keep in mind this backstory needs more research and so may be inaccurate, especially in regards to Islam or Sikhi, or Saudi Arabia, and immigrant demographics in the UK in the early 20th century. I've been googling, but currently my understanding is very surface-level; please do not take anything I say here as truth because I could be wrong and have very poor understanding of certain subjects. Corrections are always welcome! I am probably going to constantly revise this as I learn more.

He is the son of a Muslim father and a Sikh mother -- the union was met with concerned disapproval by his mother's side, though not hostility, and largely baffled indifference by his father's side. I was going to make his father the oldest son and heir of an oil baron, but Google tells me that oil wasn't discovered in Saudi Arabia until 1938, so I'll have to adjust that.

Either way, Zakariya al-Shahir bin Ibrahim, Zain's father, was the first son and heir of a very wealthy Saudi Arabian who came to Oxford to study in the '20s (pending whether or not I can find out if Oxford actually had a problem with accepting PoC students in the '20s -- I have yet to find any data). Zakariya was a very cheerful and friendly individual who won friends very easily; even bigots really liked him.

He was also a complete and utter nerd.

He was rich as fuck, but very curious about the world around him and basically nutting himself to be in a completely different world surrounded by people of many different backgrounds, so made it his life's mission to befriend everyone he met.

He met Priya, Zain's mother, while she was doing charity work, and was completely smitten with her from the beginning. She was pretty flustered herself, because Zakariya was hot as fuck, and also very politely persistent. Her immediate family was pretty guarded about the idea of a Muslim courting their daughter/sister (my research tells me Sikhs "frown upon" marrying outside the religion; I'm interpreting that as many having a "why can't you marry a nice Sikh boy" attitude instead of outright opposition), but Zakariya was so charming that most of them had the attitude "well, I'd prefer if you married within the religion, but if you had to pick someone else we're glad it's him." And Zakariya worked very hard on winning over her family because he knew how important they were to Priya.

Meanwhile Zakariya's family got the letter about him marrying a Sikh and were like "yeah, he's Like That, he just does what the fuck he wants" and otherwise didn't give a fuck. Mostly they were hoping that he'd stay overseas. Which he did; back when I thought him being the son and heir of an oil baron was realistic I had him ask for a large sum of money in exchange for giving one of his brothers his stake in the company, but I'll have to do more research.

He did not tell his in-laws or even his wife about how much money he ultimately had. While he made sure to give plenty to charity each month, he inflated the true amount the university gave him to hide how much money they really had. Priya thought they earned enough to be quite comfortable but not wealthy. Zakariya kept most of it in reserve to help the children and provide for their own futures, but no not so much he was as obnoxiously rich as he used to be. He didn't think his in-laws or Priya would approve of him sitting on so much money when it could go to the needy. He understood that perspective, but he wanted to make sure that his immediate family was always comfortable and never in any financial danger, so one night he did a shitton of maths, put a bunch of money aside, and donated the rest. Even then he didn't see the Great Depression coming lmao but they were still able to stay comfortable when that happened.

Zakariya happily took a research position in a university in London and pursued an academic career, and had hundreds of friends. He was sad to leave Oxford, but felt London would be better for his children to grow up in, and most of Priya's family already lived there as opposed to Oxford.

Zain was born in the very early '30s as the youngest of... not sure if eight or twelve children yet, but he had a lot of siblings and Zain was the baby of the family. He had his father's charm and his mother's gentle nature. I need to do more research in regards to Sikh attitudes regarding the children of interreligious marriages, but my current penciled background is that he wasn't raised as a Sikh but occasionally went to the local gurdwara with his siblings and mother. He'd also go to the local mosque sometimes, but mostly Sikhi had a bigger influence on him than Islam. But his parents were big on learning about different backgrounds so he even went to other religions' services on occasion.

Again, need to do more research on dominant Sikh attitudes towards interreligious children, but I'm thinking he was either a Sikh or not "officially" a Sikh but largely practiced or believed in most parts of the religion anyway. I know as a vampire he doesn't wear a turban and keeps a trimmed beard, but I haven't yet decided if as a human Zain followed the rules in regards to wearing a turban and not trimming his beard. I do know he's quite vain and would definitely have struggled with Sikh tenets VS said vanity while he was human. He definitely carried the Kirpan (again: research allowing. It may be that Sikhs don't let you carry it without being "officially" Sikh and I don't know if he was, yet) and used the wooden comb, and definitely grew out his hair as long as it would go. Having said that he's vain enough I'm confident his split ends drove him completely insane and he might have occasionally caved and trimmed them little by little in hopes nobody would notice.

Zain was born early enough he was evacuated from London and split up from most of his siblings. He and the one sibling he wasn't split from weren't treated very kindly by country English people so both of them started up a reign of terror and chaos and had the time of their lives fucking with the locals. But they were also very big on supporting the other displaced kids and making them feel like they belonged, and watching over them and defending them from shitty adults or local bullies. Even at seven, under the guidance of an older sister, Zain was a little vigilante.

I haven't yet figured out the circumstances of his Embrace, just that he was forty two years old when he died and had a family of his own. As a man used to having a very big extensive family his introduction to the Masquerade and divorce from his mortal family traumatised him more than most. He ended up bonding closely with other Ravnos, and coped badly with the whole "Kindred tend to stab each other in the back a lot" thing and so avoided Elysium like the plague except to pay respects to the local Prince. He started coping better after having childer of his own, the great majority of which adored him, and he was also on semi-warm terms with his sire, although he did have to train his sire not to be a total douchebag.

After the Week of Nightmares the destruction of the Ravnos Antediluvian drove him into a frenzy which resulted in him diablerising two of his favourite childer and his sire. He's been on his own ever since. Years later, meeting Evie for the first time was very bittersweet for him.

#Zain al-Shahir bin Zakariya #VTM #my OCs #VTM OCs

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hardestgrove · 2 years

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What if Goth Girl has been into occult stuff for a while but after the gate opens in season 1 it sort of. Starts working for her?? Either bc the upside down influenced the town/her for being so near and unlocked that OR bc the component she was missing was like, really believing magic is for real? That way she both knows more about the theory/good practices to experiment with than El but can benefit from El being better at the practical/more raw power stuff. God I love OCs and stranger things has so much room for them

Mine usually have older family members that are also magic/superpowered somehow bc I like mentor characters and it's relatively easy to get them away from their kids when things get dangerous in the 80's. And I want Joyce to have at least One Adult that doesnt dismiss her worries.

Last time I got into stranger things around season 3 (have yet to watch season 4 bc it'll plunge me right back into it and im busy having ofmd brainrot rn) I THINK the general vibe was giving Dustin an older sister that was into the occult/developed weak powers before s1, and then have her befriend a family that was made up of adopted werewolf son (bc. I had also had a teen wolf resurgence around then) and witch mother mentor figure. I dont remember if I had settled on anyone else on the household lol I wanted Werewolf and OC Henderson to be in a bi+ace relationship and then both of them to befriend billy (bc. Im demi and bi and so every character I like is at least one of these. Also he looks vastly less like an unnecesary threat to be friends with when both of them are the same age and can scruff him like a kitten) + maybe some poly later with him once he was in a better place mentally. I also could not decide if they were separate characters or one character that had parts of both, it seemed like too much to introduce multiple ocs but also too many narrative purposes and power to fit in one 16 year old kid so 🤷‍♂️

The mind flayer I think of as like... part of the organism that makes up this fungus. So are the other monsters, and while they've got the whole hivemind thing going even the demodogs can develop personal thoughts (Dustin's demodog did learn it liked snacks and hesitated to kill him without the other demodogs learning this too right??). The mf just has more self awareness than the rest and can command the others, probably it could be that the upside down needs to infect beings from the target world to open tears until "the barrier" between planes is weakened enough to consume it? So the mf's job is to learn how to do that possession effectively and gets more brainpower to do it? Ive forgotten so much i dont know how much sense this makes with canon lmao

OH MY GOOOOD ONCE AGAIN I AM REDUCED TO--

Geniunely starting to think our minds are connected i just took a shower and had ideas about goth girl that line up TERRORIFINGLY WELL WITH THIS SHIT.

Also goth girl now has a name!!! I misheard the lyrics to Emma by Sisters of Mercy earlier today as “Emily” and not “Emmaline”, I’d already settled on a last name for the family and the name “Emily King” has been in my head for HOURS now and it’s just like. Yes. Good. This. so that’s her name now fdgfgds

I’m GENUINELY UNHINGED ABOUT THIS bc while in the shower i decided to move back when she and her family move to Hawkins to when she’s 12 instead of 8. I did the math upon reading this ask-- she’s born the same year as Billy (1967) and in 1979 when the Hawkins Lab massacre goes down she’d be 12. So it works stupidly well. She’s always been interested in spooky stuff but gets more into it as she gets older and she also starts try practicing magic (still can’t decide how magicy the magic should be rip. doing full blown fantasy in st feels weird to me but i’m also planning to add in lovecraft and that feels right and isn’t that just fantasy?? 💀) and she starts to think she’s maybe sensitive.

I was genuinely thinking of a scene just now of her in the byers house in s1 before Joyce goes full on christmas lights and she’s getting Vibes and Feelings and she’s basically the first person to believe Joyce because her skin is literally crawling.

I love this idea that she has ALWAYS been psychic/had the capacity for powers but it took the Weird Vibes of Hawkins and some more active consideration than just researching for fun for her to realize she can do shit. Like it was just an interesting idea until she met Eleven and then suddenly it was real and now she’s much more serious about learning about this shit and experimenting herself which leads to her learning to do a range of things and working with El on her powers in a infinitely less traumatizing way lol.

stranger things really DOES have so much room for ocs i love it alot. i also love how i feel like i don’t have to make people superpowered if i don’t want to just so they’ll like fit in/be relevant. like it’s nice to have 1 person who is so we’re not relying on the 12yo constantly but even the normies have valid roles to play in the plot which isn’t always the case lol.

this is SUCH a good point. Joyce really does need another adult around who believe her and isn’t a mess writing wise like hopper can be (s3 hopper my beloathed). i’m gonna have to think about this bc it’s 100% not the king parents hmmmmmmmm

nooooo the teen wolf resurgence 🤣 i know that feeling very well i fell out in s3 but if i’m currently in the mode of fandoms adjacent to it i’m like hmmm what if... we love a Henderson oc in this house. A CLASSIC. i also feel about the bi+ace thing, it’s how Emily ended up with such big nb vibes bc it seems i cannot stop myself, also she’s likely bi. and poly. like I’m just attacking myself at this point fdgsfgsd I’ve been keeping the shipping fairly loose in my head while i work on this just so i don’t lock myself into something mentally that later doesn’t work but I’ve been putting Emily with Billy. partially because despite how much they both Suck they’re weirdly positive influences on each other and partially because Emily has a big “I don’t think I can fix him. I think I can take him in a fight.” energy about Billy sdklfgjhsfdkls

I feel you about not being able to decide between one or multiple ocs. one is easier to wrangle when you’re plotting things but multiple feels more realistic and like this singular oc isn’t over powered and over important. so far I’m happy with the king kids because they’re all different and defined and can do different things for the narrative but are also all in the same group so it’s easy to consolidate them down to 1 unit when moving them around the plot.

the Mind Flayer is certainly connected into the hivemind somehow and is pretty clearly at the top of the foodchain. It’s just hard to say exactly what it is currently since for one thing we’ve yet to really see if it has a physical form. even the wiki is saying this bitch is just an evil sentient tornado. which would make being a literal part of the fungus system difficult but i also hold to the Mind Flayer being something like what you’d see out of a lovecraft story. like Yog Sothoth and Cthulhu both have tangible form and do not, they are here and they are not etc etc. so it also COULD be physically linked in. there’s also space alien fungi in lovecraft dsfgdfs

I think there is a certain level of individuality in the hivemind bc I think you’re right about dart???? but i can’t remember completely lol I’m in the middle of a rewatch so we’ll find out!!!

I think requiring some kind of original breach makes sense given what we’ve seen. at least when wondering why it hadn’t tried this shit earlier (tho maybe it has! and other people elsewhere at another time were doing this shit too!)

I’m slowly forming some thoughts about the Upside Down, Mind Flayer and Vecna as I’m rewatching the past seasons. when vecna gets yeeted into the Negative Zone it well... looks like the Negative Zone. not Hawkins. now this could be because in that scene Vecna is in the metaphorical tunnel between worlds or it could be that it was a more primordial space. in Moorcock’s Elric of Melniboné series (one of the HUGE influences to D&D and where the alignment chart comes from) there’s the lords of chaos and order who use mortals as proxies and in one story I remember there’s an old knight who does a Quest and learns somethings and walks into the primordial chaos to make it ordered and structured like the rest of reality as we know it.

I personally don’t think Vecna is the big bad of st. I do think that’s the Mind Flayer. I think Dustin is right about Vecna being the Mind Flayer’s 5star General. I think the Mind Flayer fits perfectly into Vecna’s idea of a apex predator and he would help him. I would not be surprised if Vecna’s power and human mind helped to add form and order to the primordial chaos the Upside Down seems to be when he enters it. it also wouldn’t surprise me if this 1 for 1 mapping of Hawkins is to facilitate the conquest of this world because of blah blah war maps blah blah mirror images in narrative it’s is own post honestly

#answered #stranger things spoilers #lol WHOOPS #god this is HUGE SORRY I GOT UNHINGED AGAIN

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chwafl · 5 months

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my thoughts on turning 30, as a single chick with no kids and unsure career path lol

Today is Friday December 15th, Korea time. It's my birthday! But... I don't technically feel like I'm turning 30 until it becomes Saturday December 16th 10AM, which would convert to December 15th 8PM eastern standard time. That is my exact birthdate LOL. In 2021, when I turned 28, I made this video:

youtube

Even though I wasn't turning 30, I was already fixated on that age. I should probably re-watch this video and include some kind of reflection in this post, but I don't feel like it lol. At the time of recording, I wasn't really thriving. I mean, I wasn't doing horribly, but I was still in an awkward state.

I recorded the video at a nice hotel I booked for my birthday weekend. It was Friday night and I got there after work. The plan was to go to Lotte World the next day with... some stupid guy I was seeing at the time. Whatever! He was the only one who I could spend my b-day with so I thank him for that but... it was just... stupid LMAO.

When I got to the hotel alone, I couldn't even fully enjoy the nice hotel room and try to relax. Holiday Matsuri, a huge anime convention in Florida, was happening at the same exact time. I attended that convention every single year for my birthday since I turned 18. You can do the math HAHA. I have so many memories of doing performances, partying with friends, and having so many exciting adventures just within that convention space for pretty much 10 years. It was cancelled in 2020, but returned in 2021. Instead of being in a crowded hotel room with wigs draped over the TV stand and a bathroom counter covered in make up and beauty products, I was all alone. The highlight of the convention was the idol fest. In 2019, it was the first year that "overseas idols" could apply. Before, there were mainly just cosplay dance cover groups, but now they allowed original concept singing idols to apply. Unfortunately, I got rejected in 2019, but I thought, well, even though this sucks, 2020 will be my time. I'll work super hard to ensure that I get a spot in there. It would be the ultimate form of validation for me.

Well, there was no 2020, but there was a 2021, and I couldn't apply or be a part of it. Of course I chose to apply to this teaching job and move to Korea, but I was so sad that I had no chance to avenge myself and it just reminded me of how, if I wasn't rejected in 2019, at least I could have been on the stage when I had the chance, but alas.

I also had marriage and kids stuck in my head. I definitely didn't want to have kids any time soon, but what if when I want to have kids, I physically can't? Carrying a child at an older age isn't going to get any easier from here. Would I regret not having a child while I had the chance? Who would I even have a kid with? LOL. I definitely want to be married first and... even though that was the night before the guy I was seeing revealed himself to be so stupid, I already knew that was a person I wasn't gonna build a future with, oops!

So what's a girl to do?!

Well, when I turned 29 it was even sadder lol.

In 2022, I became even more of a homebody. I was just feeling so shy and didn't want to leave the house. I felt too bogged down by all the news happening around the world. I was so glued to being online and wanting to keep an eye on everything happening and feeling paralyzed by guilt. I did manage to push myself out of my shell here and there and started to make some new friends. I made friends with some girls who are into jfashion, alt stuff, and going to rock shows. I made friends with an anime themed cafe owner and got to know some regulars there.

Still, there weren't enough strong connections to ensure that I wouldn't be alone on my birthday, and I didn't have the confidence or know-how to try to plan something to happen either. I don't blame anyone I knew who was too busy to hang out with me at my birthday. I was more so just sad for myself for holding myself back and not making more connections. I just felt so insecure about my weight suddenly and just overall being an awkward foreigner. I was still scared about catching covid too.

Then, we entered 2023.

2023 marks the third year of me living in Korea. Mask mandates were lifted and large social gatherings and events started to come about again. I know... covid didn't disappear. I still wear a mask on public transportation and at work even at the slightest symptom of coming down with something. But... I felt more comfortable socializing knowing that these precautions aren't so strict anymore?

I thought to myself, I have two years left here, so I should make things more interesting for myself and really get out more and make more connections. Well, I say I have two years left because I told myself I would stay here five years minimum. If after five years I feel like I should keep staying here, then I will!

So, that's what I did. I made things more interesting for myself. I even slowly changed up my hairstyle. I added bangs and then I gave myself some layers. That little switch up helped me feel like I reinvented myself a little. I got some new clothes here and there to help me feel a bit more confident with my appearance. I decided to stop getting a straight perm so I could get volume and movement back to my hair. Now that entry to Japan wasn't so complicated, I did a short trip to Tokyo in May. THAT certainly recharged some confidence in me. I reconnected with old friends, met online friends for the first time, and I left feeling so inspired. I saw more chika idol shows in Seoul. I attended way more rock shows and started to make some acquaintances there. I strengthened my closer friendships here a little more. I made friends with more people that are into cosplaying, content making, and overall creative stuff. I even felt more and more confident with my teaching job!

By late summertime, I thought, you know what? I think I can make a proper birthday party happen for myself this year. I think I can confidently have at least 3 or 4 people hang out with me all night for my birthday. I thought we could get some drinks and go to a noraebang and go crazy

Then, the idea started to get bigger.

Why not give it a theme? How about a princess party? I never had a princess party as a kid, so what better time than having a princess themed party at THIRTY YEARS OLD LOL.

I can buy some crowns and wands and maybe I can even make a princess idol looking costume to wear.

What if shared the event information to the public, like instagram or a group chat that I'm in? What if I invited some people I don't really know very well? What if I tell people they can invite a friend?

But...

What if after all that reaching out leads me to not gain any additional attendees?

What if everyone is so busy that I don't even end up having three or four people available to be with me?

...

Oh what the hell, let's give it a shot!

The worst that people can say is "sorry I can't, I'm busy." Receiving that message is not going to kill me LOL.

Then, slowly, I got a few more people confirming their attendance, little by little.

by the night of my birthday, maybe there was around 15 people there?!

A few people I never even met before xD

My biggest regret was... not ordering food for everyone omg. I got the cake, I got alcohol... but I completely overlooked food. I was so busy with just talking to everyone and making sure no one was awkwardly left out because a lot of people never even met each other before and I really wanted the people who came and met me for the first time to have a good impression of my personality!

I even got a few gifts, I really wasn't expecting anything!

When everyone sang happy birthday, it just felt like so much, I was honestly embarrassed and felt shy haha!

But it was everything I hoped for, and more!

28 year old me wouldn't have imagined this would be how I would be welcoming my thirties.

I don't feel worried about being single with no kids. It's whatever. There are so many conversations online about women talking about not wanting to have children due to personal preference, not feeling financially secure, and so many more reasons. I'm not alone in this "dilemma." As far as getting married goes, well, I do hope to at least get married one day, but then again, isn't marriage just a social construct rooted in the oppression of women? LOL.

We're on a floating rock in space, we don't have a solid idea of why we're here on this earth, and pretty much everything is made up. The world might become engulfed in flames by the next 20 years for all we know!

If I was meant to have kids and be married by now, I would have that. But that's not where I'm at right now, so I'm gonna take it that there is a good reason why I'm not at the stage in life. I'll take advantage of that. If people wanna impose their sexist standards on me and say I'm a failure as a woman and undesirable for being single and childless, whatever! It's my life, not yours, and I can confidently say that my life truly rocks right now.

At 29, I had a grand realization that I'm my own magic. It doesn't matter where I am in the world, I can make things happen for me. I can make genuine connections wherever I go, and I have the perseverance to keep going for my dreams even if circumstances are not what I expected. I have the drive.

And as far as my career goes, well, practically every one is having career trouble around the world LOL. As long as I'm making strives in my creative work, that's the resume I care the most about. Any day job I have is whatever, it doesn't define me.

I really wanted to release a special cover EP on my true birthday... but I have to push it out a couple weeks to the 30th... look out for it.

With my thirties, I want to feel more and more unapologetically myself. This has always been a goal for myself, but I just felt too shy to think it was possible to make bigger steps towards that. Now, I think I can truly become that and become the person I always imagined myself to be. I always struggle with feeling like I'm holding myself back. Idk, I've felt afraid to be too bold for people or be too confusing and misunderstood or "trying too hard" in other people's eyes. But it's time to let that go!

To everyone who has followed me, look forward to even more interesting stuff from me. I'm not slowing down any time soon!

To everyone who wished me happy birthday and spent time with me last weekend, thanks so much <3

To everyone who ever spent any of my birthdays with me, I've never forgotten about you <3

Birthdays are like your own custom holiday! You can make it be whatever you want. Don't undermine your birthday. And even if you're alone on your birthday, don't give up. Put in the work to reach out to people, do things for other people's birthdays. Don't give up!

Thanks for reading~*~*~*~ until next time~*~*~*~*~

#diary #Youtube

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excludedmiddle · 2 years

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Biweekly Contest 82

Might start linking these if anyone's curious.

Holy shit. Let's start with the good news: I got all four within 90 minutes, and this contest was hard enough that only 442 people out of 22k participants even solved 4/4. I also wasn't treating it like a normal practice contest - I did other things instead of coding straight through, and I didn't proofread my work as thoroughly before submitting.

Now for the bad: it took me 80 minutes to complete, and I had at least one failed submission for 2, 3, and 4, for a grand total of around a dozen failed submissions. In a real contest I suspect this would be reduced a fair bit, but it would have to have been at least half a dozen.

1 was cute and fun, and left me blissfully ignorant of the terrors to come.

2. Cmon man. This problem sucks ass. If the bounds were a little better it would be totally fine, but you can run out of passengers at any point. My initial solution was to use a priority queue/heap to find out the time the last passenger boarded the last bus, and once you have that, linear search backward in the original passenger array (once sorted) to find the first gap.

This is already more work than the vast majority of problem 2s, but nope! Your supply of passengers can run out... literally at any time! So you have to put checks everywhere to ensure that your priority queue is nonempty, and then you have to handle it if it empties. Nothing here was actually that hard, in a strict sense, but holy shit was it a pain in the ass.

3 was a nasty problem. I figured out the math tricks quickly (you can convert both arrays to a single array of absolute differences, k1 and k2 can be summed to a single variable k, and you need to subtract from the largest differences first) but it was still a hard problem, even after figuring all that out!

I thought oh, I'll use a priority queue like I did in 2, it's nice that they theme their problems like this. Nope! k can be as large as 10^9, which is strictly O(n) and not O(n log n), TLE. Guess I'll go fuck myself then.

What I ultimately did (which I thought was rather clever) was use a counter to find how many times each difference appeared (one of their largest tests involved using 1000 of the exact same difference lmao) and then converting that to an ordered dictionary. Since I could sort beforehand, I could use insertion order to order the keys as well. Then I created a multi-step system to mass-subtract from k (I've seen similar concepts before). Then instead of depending on k, this depended on n, which was significantly smaller (10^4) and sped up the program significantly.

4 was... honestly pretty simple compared to 3. Maybe that's exaggerating it, I bet a lot of people found this problem pretty impossible. The easy part was mapping the array to the k that a given index needed. The hard part (which I had fortunately seen something vaguely like in the past) was finding a stretch of the array that satisfied everything. I used a stack for this, in a rather clumsy way (I had to introduce a third variable into a tuple after I failed a submission that probably could've been done with only 2). I think this one could've been done a bit better, but after 2 and 3 I was happy to be done.

So, thoughts. In the past, when I've had a really hard time with a contest, I've been disappointed to see that the overall standings look about the same as they always do. Not the case this time! Fewer than 500 people solved all 4 in 90 minutes, which almost never happens.

I'm very happy that (even if it was painful, slow, and involved an embarrassing number of failed submissions) I pulled through and got to 4/4. I'm very confident that I couldn't have done it a few months ago.

#coding competition

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watermelonsugarsigh · 2 years

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fraction of your heart ~ part one

summary: Y/N's math skills aren’t the best, but she thinks she has a pretty good judgement of character - and Peter Parker does not pass the test.

warnings: swearing, alcohol, sub-par math references

word count: 3.3k

A/N: I actually really like algebra but I also have not done a math course in seven years so pls don’t expect real technical terms in this fic lmao – I’ll try my best.

“Fucking hell.”

Y/N swore under her breath at the A4 sheet of paper in front of her, the letters and numbers printed in black ink swirling on the page and turning into a language she recognised but couldn’t quite understand. It wasn’t her fault that her roommate, Lauren, was snoring so loud last night she barely got any sleep. That’s definitely the only reason she could simply not solve for x at the present moment.

No, it couldn’t possibly have anything to do with the late hours she had been putting in assisting at the library, helping Sarah reorganise the science fiction section for the umpteenth time this year. Seriously, how many sci-fi novels could come out in one year that would require the need for another shelf extension?

Y/N didn’t really like the genre anyway. She never understood the appeal of aliens and robots fighting each other for rule of planets that probably wouldn’t be capable of maintaining any life form if the science was actually correct. Her distaste for the genre was only exacerbated by the inaccuracies that were rampant in every single chapter. After disappearing for five years and returning three years ago, Y/N hated the authors who continued to write about fictional universes instead of trying to study the actual alien life that we had encountered. Could they really call any of this science fiction anymore? After all, the real stuff was way more interesting than any of the crap that K.L. Jones could vomit onto a page in less than three months.

Why are you thinking about this right now? The voice in her head willed her to focus back to the test in front of her. Even though she knew she was not in the right mindset to be thinking about algebra, she had to do well in this test to keep her GPA up. She took a deep breath and blinked to refocus her eyes back on the test.

If x and y satisfy both 9 x + 2 y = 8 and 7 x + 2 y = 4…

This was question one, supposedly the easiest question in the entire test. Why the fuck did they have to put letters in math?

Y/N sighed and put her pencil to the graph paper on her desk, slowly but surely working out what she hoped were the right answers. Math just didn’t come naturally to her, not like writing did. However, she still hadn’t decided what to major in, so she needed good grades in all of her classes to keep her options open for next year. Her leg began to bounce underneath her desk and her eyes glanced to the clock on the wall, signalling twenty minutes left of the class. Come on Y/N, she thought. Just get some answers down.

Five minutes passed and Y/N had finally gotten into a bit of a flow. While she couldn’t be positive her answers were right, she was at least remembering what equations and functions would assist her in getting closer to the answer. 2 and -10 replaced x and y, and the inky mess of letters and numbers began to sequent itself back into legible sentences, until the sound of a chair pulling out from under a desk shifted her attention.

When she glanced up her eyes narrowed at the lean figure passing her. She watched as Peter Parker walked – no, sauntered – down the stairs of the lecture theatre, completed paper in hand. Peter frustrated Y/N to no avail. He was rarely ever in class, always coming in late or skipping altogether. Despite being in almost every class together, he managed to avoid her quite well, as if he could sense that he annoyed her. Every time she had spoken to him his mind seemed worlds away, as if he didn’t want to talk to her either. He had never been rude, but there was just something that irked her about him, something she could never quite put her finger on. Even so, he was top of the class, friendly with majority of the student body and faculty, and obviously incredibly intelligent. How else would he always manage to finish everything early?

Y/N stared with pure curiosity as Peter whispered to Mr. Leven, the course coordinator. He handed his paper over and as soon as it had been firmly grasped in Mr. Leven’s hands, started animating wildly with his own. Y/N couldn’t help but watch his movements as he emphasised the words he was whispering; she couldn’t hear what he was saying, but deduced from his movements that he was asking to leave early since he was finished. Y/N chuckled under her breath and flicked her eyes back to the paper in front of her. Peter should know by now, nobody leaves until class is over, even if –

Her focus was once again shattered, this time by the heavy door at the front of the room being opened to the university courtyard. Bright light shone in from outside, temporarily creating a blind spot in the centre of Y/N’s vision. She blinked to try and get it to dissipate as she watched Peter slip through the door, almost tripping on the uneven pavement outside but catching himself with lightning reflexes. Y/N wasn’t sure she had actually seen him correctly, vision still partially concealed by the light, until Peter whipped his head around to look back into the lecture theatre. Eyes wide, he quickly scanned the room to see if anyone had noticed his save and did a double take when he saw Y/N glaring back at him. He bit his lip, lifting a hand as if he were going to gesture to her but stopped himself, closing his hand into a fist and letting it drop back to his side. The door swung shut as they maintained eye contact, Y/N’s eyes narrowing just before she heard the ‘click’ of the latch returning to its rightful place.

Y/N noticed he had left all his belongings in the room, signalling that he would be returning, which begged the question: where the hell was he going? More importantly, how did he always seem to get what he wanted? It was like the rules didn’t apply to him; he was free to come and go as he pleased, just because he smiled that smile where his eyes crinkle up and he bowed his head in bashfulness. Every time he did that, Y/N couldn’t decide whether she wanted to pinch his cheeks or punch him.

It would have been easier to hate him if he weren’t so polite, which was one of the reasons Y/N hated him even more. She had never heard him say a bad word about another person, and was always trying to justify someone’s actions, even if they were directly attacking him. She didn’t want to pay this much attention to him, but he made it difficult not to; his puppy-dog demeanour lit up every room he walked in, and everyone noticed it. Girls and boys alike fawned over him. As if she was trying to prove a point to herself, she allowed herself a quick glance at Tara Gray, who was sitting diagonally across from her. Tara’s head was down, but Y/N could tell her espresso-brown eyes were flitting from the page to the door Peter had just walked through, probably hoping he would return. He never seemed to notice the endless stream of people paying attention to him, which only made him more mysterious and alluring. What was his deal? Y/N chewed on her bottom lip and pulled her eyes away from Tara just as her heart began to twinge at the sight of her. Sighing, Y/N used the last five minutes of class to scrawl answers to the rest of the test on her page, hoping at least some of them were right.

“Time’s up, everyone!” Mr. Leven clapped, jolting the entire class out of their heads with the sudden noise. “Please drop your papers on my desk on your way out, and I’ll have them back to you on Friday.” Y/N gathered her things and shoved them into her backpack, pulling out her phone and turning it off ‘Do Not Disturb’. She quickly replied to a text from Lauren about dinner, stating she would be home in an hour or so to cook. Slinging her backpack over her shoulder, Y/N pulled the paper off the desk and fumbled with the sheets in line to the desk at the front of the class. Her thumb slid against a sheet the wrong way, causing a sharp sting to arise. She winced and jolted her hand away from the page, turning her hand over to assess. A small bead of blood was slowly pooling diagonally across the pad of her thumb. Y/N wrinkled her nose at it and placed it to her lips as she dropped her paper on top of the pile on Mr. Leven’s desk. She gently ran her tongue over the open wound, pushing the door open with her shoulder as the metallic taste began to envelop her mouth. She was not expecting to slam into a brick wall of a person, causing her to bite down hard on her thumb as the two stumbled backward after their collision.

“Fuck!” Y/N yelped as the heel of her boot clipped the same piece of pavement that Peter had tripped over less than half an hour ago. With pain shooting down her thumb, she didn’t have time to register that she was headed face-first to the ground, until an arm wrapped around her waist and caught her, allowing her to regain her balance. Heart racing, she planted both her feet solidly on the ground before the mysterious person released her from their grasp.

“Are you okay?” Y/N recognised the voice before her brain registered the face in front of her. Still shaking the pain away from her thumb, she tensed, shuffling backward to create space between her and Peter.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just bit my thumb. Are you?” Peter’s eyes flickered down to her hand and back up to her face. She couldn’t get a read on his expression, except for the flush that creeped his way up to the tip of his ears.

“Yep, totally fine,” Peter stammered. “Uh, how did you bite your thumb?”

Y/N lifted her hand, giving Peter a half-hearted thumbs-up as she displayed her wound.

“Paper cut. I was trying to stop the bleeding.”

“Oh – do you want a bandage for that?”

“No, no, it’s fine-“

“I have one right here.” Peter pulled a small package out of his pocket, tearing a bandage off the strip and handing it to her. Catching Y/N’s furrowed brow, he explained. “I get injured a lot- um, I mean, in a ‘trip and fall’ kind of way, not like in a weird way...” Peter’s sentence trailed off as he realised he was rambling.

“Um, thanks. And thanks for catching me.”

“Don’t mention it. Uh, I gotta go.” Peter pulled the door open and slipped inside, leaving Y/N to stand facing the courtyard in bewilderment. That was the longest conversation they had ever had. If Y/N didn’t understand Peter Parker beforehand, she certainly didn’t understand him any more now.

...

Y/N kept herself busy over the next few days, trying not to think about how fucked her GPA was going to be once she received her algebra test results back. Fortunately, she had plenty else to keep her brain active throughout the week. Between her other classes, shifts at the library, and catching up with people other than her roommate Lauren, Y/N barely had had time to herself.

Still, there was this lingering thought that crept into her subconscious just as she transitioned each night from lucidity to unconsciousness. Y/N found herself dreaming of honey-brown eyes, stuttered sentences…and falling. No matter what Y/N seemed to dream about lately, she was always tumbling, fast to the floor – and something, or someone, was always there to catch her just before she jolted awake.

Friday morning came faster than she had anticipated. The sense of dread continued to encompass more of Y/N’s mind with each step that she took toward Mr. Leven’s classroom. Peter would most likely get an A, without trying, which only riled Y/N up even more as she pushed the door open to the class.

The class was a blur. To say that Y/N wasn’t paying attention was an understatement. Scrolling through social media on her laptop passed the time while she waited for the inevitable. Five minutes before the class ended, the words she had been dreading all morning were spoken.

“I have your tests here,” Mr Leven waved a stack of papers above his head, earning some groans from the collective of students. “Some of you did brilliantly. Others,” Mr. Leven made brief eye contact with Y/N before scanning over the rest of the class, “will need to brush up on their algebraic knowledge before the final.” Y/N sunk lower in her chair. “Please come retrieve your papers before you leave.”

Y/N slowly packed up her things off the tiny fold-out desk attached to the side of her chair. She took her time replying to a message from Lauren about their dinner plans for tonight, as the rest of the class grabbed their tests and filed out of the room. Once majority of the students had left, Y/N stood up and made her way over to Mr. Leven’s desk.

“Excellent work as always, Mr. Parker. And thank you for your help, in advance.” Mr. Leven handed the test over to him, a glowing 99/100 marked clearly at the top of the front page. Peter’s eyes flicked to meet Y/N’s, then quickly met the ground again. She heard a quick ‘thank you’ mumbled from under Peter’s breath as he swiftly grabbed the pages and strode out of the room. Y/N was now the only student in the classroom.

“Mr. Leven, I-“

“I must say, Miss Y/L/N,” Mr. Leven cut her sentence short as he handed her test back, now the only one in his hand. The numbers 52/100 shone like a red laser, the ink standing out in juxtaposition against the stark white sheet. “I expected much more from you.”

“I know,” she replied, eyes lowered to the floor. Tears threatened to prick in the corners of her eyes, but she blinked them back before they had time to accumulate. “I don’t really have an excuse either. I just didn’t study enough.”

“You’re a smart woman, Y/N,” She forced a grim smile on her lips, one that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “I know you’ll improve on this. Perhaps a tutor would help?”

Y/N pondered the question for a moment. Maybe a tutor would help. Half of her issue was that she never dedicated time to study; having time allocated each week would probably increase her grade exponentially. She’s sure she could ask Lauren for some help, or even –

“I’ve asked Mr. Parker to assist you in preparation for the final.”

He had to be fucking kidding.

Out of everyone in the class, and outside of it, it had to be Peter. She would have preferred to contact Einstein’s ghost with a Ouija board before having to try and converse with the one person who seemed to avoid her at all costs. Had Peter agreed to this? Y/N’s eye twitched, but she knew if she had any chance of her passing this class, she had to do everything that Mr. Leven said.

“Thanks,” Y/N said, attempting to be as enthusiastic as possible. “I really appreciate it.” She headed out of the building, stopping to pull her sunglasses out of her bag when the sunlight hit her face. She checked her watch, noting how much time she had before her next class. She sighed. Six more hours of classes and then she could finally go home and finish this day off with a shot of tequila and a self-prescribed bedtime of 9pm.

Ten hours and four tequila sunrises later, Y/N was relaxing on the couch, waiting for an appropriate time to head to bed. She had spent the last hour and a half complaining about her algebra class to Lauren, who was being less than helpful with her responses.

“Come on,” Lauren protested, moving to face Y/N, legs criss-crossing on top of one another on the couch. “Peter’s lovely. He’s in my calculus class and he’s so nice to everyone. Plus, that boy is a genius. If anyone can move you from a C to an A, he can.”

“Don’t tell me you’re in love with him too,” Y/N rolled her eyes as her thoughts trailed to Tara, how she sat up and tried to subtly fix her hair whenever he walked in. It was obvious she had a thing for him. Y/N would know, she did the same thing whenever Tara spoke to her. She finished the rest of her drink and set the empty cup down on the coffee table in front of her. The orange juice and cheap raspberry cordial (they were on a college budget and couldn’t afford proper grenadine) masked the bitter taste of the alcohol, although tequila was one of the few on the list of spirits that didn’t make Y/N’s stomach turn upside down. She could barely even look at a bottle of Midori without wanting to turn the exact same shade of green herself.

“What has he ever done to you?”

“Nothing. That’s the problem.” Y/N stole some corn chips from the bag in Lauren’s lap, earning a scoff from her roommate. Munching on them, she continued. “He avoids me like the plague. The other day, we bumped into each other, and it was like I had a contagious disease. He couldn’t get away from me fast enough.” Y/N omitted the part about him giving her a bandage for her finger, knowing Lauren would pounce on that information like a cat stalking prey. She looked down and examined the wound, now scabbed over and well on its way to healing. If she pressed down hard on her thumb it hurt, but other than that, she almost completely forgot it was there.

“He’s probably just shy. He seems pretty quiet in calculus.” Y/N let out a small ‘hmmph’ in protest, knowing she was not going to win this argument. “Just give him a chance.”

As if on cue, Y/N’s phone vibrated on the coffee table. She stood up and grabbed it, raising it to her face to unlock it.

Hey! It’s Peter Parker, I don’t know whether you still have my number saved. So Mr. Leven asked me to help you out with algebra. Just let me know when you’re free and I’ll make it work!

“Speak of the devil,” Y/N sighed. “Peter just messaged me. And I think on that note, I’m going to bed.”

Once Y/N had settled into her bed for the night, she decided to pull up the message from Peter again. She had been scouring her brain for the last five minutes trying to remember when she had given him her number, then eventually remembered that they had been in a group project last year. A project where Peter hadn’t spoken to her once. She decided to reply as cordially as possible.

Hi, yeah thanks for that. I’m free on Sunday if that works? We can meet in the library any time you want.

Before she had time to put her phone down, a reply had come through.

Okay, cool! I can meet you there at 11?

Sounds good, Y/N replied. See you then.

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realcube · 3 years

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haikyuu!! boys learning that you speak another language 💬

characters: sugawara, oikawa, bokuto, akaashi & kuroo

thanks to anon for this amazing request 💞

(y/n) = your name

(L) = language of your choice

tw// self deprecating joke, swearing

Kōshi Sugawara

honestly, idk how he didn’t know that you spoke a second language before y’all started dating bc he seems like the sort of guy to ask those sort of questions while flirting/making conversating

but anyway, he probably learned that you spoke another language on the first date

he took you on a study date to the library and one of the subjects he was studying was French, and he was clearly struggling

‘ugh, this is quite tricky- we’ve got a test coming up and i can’t even remember how to say ‘bread’. hah, i’m definitely going to fail..’

you rolled your eyes, leaning across the table to deliver a gentle chop to his head, ‘negativity begone!’

sugawara chuckled before relaxing back in his chain, fidgeting with his pencil as he shifted his attention off his revision sheets and onto you, ‘did you take a language this year?’ he inquired, trying to make conversation to momentarily take his mind off the piles of revision he had to do

you squinted, biting your own tongue as you attempted to equally divide your attention between your date and the complex maths question you were working on, ‘no, i couldn’t be bothered. plus, i can speak (L) so it’s not as if i’m a monolinguist.’

suga blinked rapidly at this new information; so wondering if he had heard you correctly, he questioned further, ‘you speak (L)? really? i don’t think you’ve ever mentioned anything about that before.’

you shrugged, letting out a slight sigh before placing your pencil down; realising that if Suga was going to continue talking, it might be rude for you to keep working. ‘oh, have i not? well- now you know!’ you hummed, shooting your boyfriend a sweet smile.

‘how can one person be so smart and stunning?’ he mused, resting his cheek on his palm as his elbow was propped up onto the table

‘i should be asking you that, kōshi.’

he couldn’t help but roll his eyes at how humble you were; ah, if only you knew how much he admired you.

suga could only imagine being bilingual yet you could effortlessly speak a second language fluently, he was sure that if you were to take up volleyball, the team would waste no time in replacing him with you

anyway, he was so impressed that you can speak (L) and he shows it lol

like if you talk down on yourself, he’ll call you out SO quick regardless but he will also mention your second language somehow lmao

for example:

you groaned upon skimming the message your professor sent you along with your test result, ‘ugh, i got 68% - so fucking close to an A! i’m so stupid..’

you thought sugawara was preoccupied with cooking dinner until he came rushing into your room, making you jolt when he slammed the door open, ‘who’s stupid?! are hinata & kageyama in here somewhere? because i know that you weren’t talking about yourself!’

you buried your face into your hands to not only let out a elongated groan, but also so he didn’t see the small smile tugging at the corner of your lips

‘and i know that you didn’t call my gorgeous, intelligent, selfless, bilingual sweetheart stupid! take that back, (y/n). ’

and he would not leave you alone until you took it back IUFHEIEVAB

also, another example.

you walked by a bright pink trash can with Suga by your side and in the interest of ✨ comedy ✨, you chuckled and blurted out, ‘hey, that’s me.’

‘if that trash can is bilingual, then yes.’

Tōru Oikawa

you probably first told him you spoke (L) a while into your relationship — but not too long — so maybe like 6 months

and you only told him bc y’all were having an argument over the schoolwork and you were sure that your method was correct while oikawa thought otherwise

but after a while, it kinda just turned into a battle of ‘who is smarter?’ rather than trying to figure out who’s method was correct

so you just blurted out from spite, ‘tough talk coming a one-language-speaking peasant.’

oikawa rolled his eyes, ‘how many languages do you speak then, smart-ass?’

‘english, japanese and (L)’

he blinked rapidly, unable to come up with a snarky remark, he cocked his head to the side and inquired, ‘you speak (L)?’

you nodded, your lips curling into a smile, ‘yep!’

grrr curse your adorable smile >:(

oikawa was simply unable to be mad anymore ✋ must give kithes to his trilingual s/o instead (づ￣ 3￣)づ

he smirked back at you before pulling you in by your waist and peppering an infinite amount of kisses across your face, ‘awh, i didn’t know you speak 3 languages. you’re so clever, angel.’ he said in between kisses, using his strong grip to sway y’all side-to-side as he expressed his love

and oikawa is kinda an exhibitionist sometimes so he will definitely mention that when he hypes you up/shows you off at events

and mf will never stop-

even after the time-skip 🤠

he’ll bring you to a party celebrating a cup victory for his team and while everyone there is trying to praise him for his perfect sets, he’s quite tipsy and just goes, ‘thank you. thank you. but have you seen (y/n) tonight? they look so gorgeous- especially their eyes, i hope our kids have their eyes.’ he rambled, his speech a bit slurred so everyone had to do a double-take to make sure they were hearing him correctly

was he seriously raving on about his s/o when he literally just won a world cup?

‘oh and did i mention they’re four-lingual? literally. they speak English, Japanese, (L) and Portuguese so they could live here with me.’

it was embarrassing in the moment but at least there was no press at the party

plus, you both always look back on these moments and laugh tbh

also, just bc he was drunk didn’t mean that his words were empty - he meant everything he said, the alcohol only helped him voice everything confidently

Kōtarō Bokuto

ok so he learned that you spoke (L) 6 months into your marriage

his big personality makes up for his ignorance-

you were on call with a mutual friend who could also speak (L), hence you were both talking in (L) lol

meanwhile bokuto was just sitting on the other side of the couch and it took him half an hour to realise that you were speaking another language

however, you were hardly alert either considering it took you god-knows how long to notice that bokuto was staring at you with wide, starry eyes

and you literally just froze- then proceeded to excuse yourself for a moment before muting your microphone

‘bo, are you alright? why are you looking at me like that?’ you asked, concern clear in your tone as you dropped your phone to rush over to him, hastily pressing the back of your had against his forehead

bokuto shook his head abruptly, snapping out of his glazed gaze to pull you onto his lap, ‘were you speaking a foreign language just there?!’

‘yeah, (L). I’m fluent.’ you replied, rather shocked as he went from a statue to his regular, energetic self in the blink of an eye

he cocked his head to the side with wide eyes — and it was moments like these were you could really see the resemblance between him and an owl�� — before wrapping you in a hug, resting his cheek on your shoulder.

‘i didn’t know that you could speak (L), babe! that’s so fuckin’ cool! do you think you could teach me?’

you giggled, both from his lively response and how the vibrations from his speech tickled your neck

‘sure, but i have to finish my call first.’ you hummed before springing to your feet, grabbing you phone and strolling out of the living room to continue the call in the privacy of your bedroom

and don’t think bokuto forgot about you agreeing to teach him bc he was planking outside of the bedroom, waiting for you to finish your call so he could jump out at you once you tried to exit,

‘HOW DO YOU SAY ‘I’D LIKE FRIES WITH THAT’ IN (L)?!’

‘FUCK!’ you screamed, your phone falling out of your hand as bokuto just jump-scared you in your own home

you try to teach him ofc but it’s quite difficult for him to learn (L) while he’s simultaneously trying to learn English and Spanish

he didn’t exactly give up on trying to learn it but the frequency of his lil’ questions of ‘how do you say this is (L)?’ and ‘how do you say that in (L)?’ became less and less

however, whenever you speak (L) in front of him, he always looks at you with wide, dreamy eyes - completely in awe at how clever you are and he’ll take every opportunity he can to praise you for it

oh and he has you saved in his phone as ‘gorgeous, bilingual wifey 😩💞💕💖’

Keiji Akaashi

he probably learns that you can speak another language on the second or third date

y’all were talking about hobbies you wanted to take up, then akaashi pulled out his note titled ‘ ↳ languages i should learn’ and the first one he uttered was (L) so you immediately chimed in

‘oh! i can speak (L)! i could teach you — if you want.’

akaashi couldn’t help but smile softly; even though he had a bunch of assignments due, along with all the approaching tests he had to study for, he just couldn’t say no to your offer — you just looked so excited

plus, there was no harm in trying to learn a language alongside his schoolwork

he humbly accepted; further inquiring about your links and relations with the (L) language

anyway, you never really sat akaashi down to teach him (L) or make him take notes or anything, you’d just began with integrating the occasional (L) in an english/japanese sentence

you’d tend to change the noun and given the context, akaashi would be able to figure out what it meant

for example, if y’all were vibin’ on the couch with the TV on in the background, you might ask him to pass the remote but replace the word ‘remote’ with the (L) translation

there was nothing else he could’ve passed to you so he understood that you meant remote

so slowly but surely — without even realising that he’s learning — he picks up on quite a lot of the vocabulary

and by the time y’all are married, he’s basically fluent

oh and on your honeymoon (which is in Italy btw, I just know he’d take you somewhere with a rich history) you are chillin in the pool then out of the corner of your eyes you see akaashi approach you from the edge of the pool, before getting down on one knee

and you were so confused for a second bc you thought he was proposing again even you recall getting married to him just a few days ago ◉_◉’

however, once he pulled out a box that seemed too large to contain a ring, it piqued your curiosity even more, ‘akaashi?’ you stuttered, eyes wide.

he opened it to reveal a simple silver bangle, pulled it out then offered his hand so he could cuff it around your wrist

now that the cold metal of the bangle came in contact with your skin, you were finally able to read the text engraved into the silver

and it was ‘i love you’ in (L)

Tetsurō Kuroo

you probably told him that you could speak (L) quite early on in the relationship tbh

he was really proud of you but he only took much of an interest a bit later on

he was just like ‘(y/n), do you know any languages other than japanese and english?’ over some chocolate-covered strawberries

you nodded, ‘yeah, (L). why?’

kuroo gasped, excitedly slamming the kitchen counter with the palm of his hand, ‘i need you to teach me some curses.’

you giggled, taking another bite of your strawberry, ‘heh, why?’

‘because kōtarō keeps muttering things about me in portuguese and oikawa keeps snickering at it - i think they’re bitching about me so two can play at that game.’ kuroo whined before looking at you then shooting you a charming smile, ‘so can you help me?’

he’s adorable so you smiled right back at him and chirped, ‘absolutely not.’

however, you kept his request in mind when you graciously began replacing all your english curses with those in (L)

and obviously he caught on ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

thank you for enabling him, (y/n) 😌

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jaime-brienne-fic-exchange · 3 years

Text

Stats! Stats! Stats!

There are three days left until sign ups open and we thought it might be fun to look back at last year’s exchange through the fun lens of MATH!!

That’s right! Maths. The wonderful @im-auntie-social did the Lord of Light’s work last year tracking the published works on a spreadsheet and has helped to highlight some of the fun figures from last year.

The Raw Stats

There were 102 sign ups last year, but we ended up with 112 fics in total!

The total word count of all completed fics was 1,310,259 words, which is more words than A Game Of Thrones, A Clash of Kings and a Storm of Swords combined, and if you include the few WIPs we still have, we also top A Feast For Crows!

The mean number of words per work was 12479 and the median was 8281, with a standard deviation of 13029 wpf (words per fic), which I am told by our resident statistician is hilarious:

AuntieSocial — Today at 2:51 AM

okay so as of 8/25:

112 fics, 105 finished

total word count 1,310,259 (which does NOT include WIPs), for a mean of 12,479 words/finished fic

with a standard deviation of 13,029 words/fic, which is never not funny to me

a more useful number is the median words/fic: 8,281

(which means if you write the word counts in order, the 53rd value is 8,281, so half the fics are shorter than that, half are longer)

The rest of the mods:

So then she made some neat graphs instead:

(not included in this final image: the exponential growth of grey hairs on each mod correlating precisely with the countdown to the close of the collection as multi-chaptered fics grew in size while still showing no signs of completion!)

If you’re like us and bar charts confuse you, here’s a pie chart to show the distribution of word counts. Despite the massive total word count--and several writers’ increasing panic as their fics refused to end--most fics in the exchange were actually 10,000 words or less, and only 17% of the fics were longer than 20,000 words.

(The last bar, which is unlabelled, is for 60k and above, and belongs to the one, the only @writergirl2011. A round of applause to her!)

In addition to having a wide diversity of lengths for our fics, we also had a wonderful diversity of ratings!

Fics!

Fun With Tags!

The most common tags on fics were fairly predictable:

Alternate Universe - Modern Setting (50)

Fluff (10)

Angst (10)

Pining (10)

Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence (10)

Hurt/Comfort (9)

But one of our writers, @sapphiresandsunlight, had the tags on their fic go viral on twitter! (Give it a reread, it’s a banger.)

But we had other favourite tags too:

"just buy a hat and hold the fuck onto it"

"Red Ronnet fulfills his sole purpose in life yet again"

"rated for violence; laguange; some body horror (apologies it's not for sexy times),"

"There's goats, and--therefore--some minor violence,"

"jaime is definitely the miss piggy of this relationship,"

"you don't have to judge me i am judging myself,"

"I overshot the minimum wordcount just a bit" (on a 57k fic, AHEM)

"its cool guys Margaery has a plan,"

"everyone knows the one dude with a weird pet,"

"probably some deconstruction of Romatic Ideas as a treat,"

"no no she is literally a star,"

"unitards as a fashion statement,"

“lmao at my dumb ass for thinking this was going to be under 10k and finished on time,"

"I swear ths was just supposed to be a one-shot"

"Yes that title is in reference to an Ed Sheeran song" "WHAT OF IT?"

"some wolves do some harming but they get away with it,"

"'hey how is this 13k when it's just cave snuggling?'"

"Revealing your deepest secret and then passing out cold as flirting," "smuttier than that,"

"the minimum for this exchange is 1k" "here's 20 times that,"

“Cosplay as foreplay,"

"hey guess what? i have no idea how newspapers work and yet i picked that prompt anyway,"

"unconscionable abuse of italics,"

"academia is a trap!"

"math as a framework for love and trauma,"

"criticism of martini glasses,"

"Fic Exchange Yaaayyyyyy,"

"if there's a canon problem yo i'll solve it,"

"bet you didn't have this on your Winds of Winter bingo card,"

"this baby can fit SO MANY TROPES"

Then we had fun with tag clouds:

It was a monumental exchange last year and we’re so excited to see what we all come up with this year!

Sign-ups open very soon! Shoot us whatever questions you like and keep an eye out!

#jaime x brienne fic exchange 2021 #jaime x brienne #braime #jaime lannister #brienne of tarth #fun with stats!#the inherent romanticism of spreadsheets #we bin known on twitter #throwback to mid 2020 when everyone was quarantined and had nothing else to do but write #game of thrones #asoiaf #graph-ic content

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toko-writing-imagines · 3 years

Note

Could I request Chihiro, Mikan, Ibuki, and Miu (separately) comforting their S/O who’s worried that they’ll fail their math class?

This,, this request is something I can relate to a lot

This ended up as some sort of comfort since I usually scrape by barely in math- Im more of the literature type

Anyways, hope you like it!! ♡ (also these became longer than expected whoops-)

Chihiro, Mikan, Ibuki, and Miu comforting their s/o who's worried that they'll fail their math class

【Chihiro Fujisaki】

• His feelings are generally based on your emotions. Like if you are sad, he'd be sad too

• He noticed how you seemed worried about some sort of thing. You are usually quite cheerful, contrasting his shy personality, but that wasn't quite the case for today

• Once it was just you two alone, Chihiro asked you why you seemed to be so worried

• You seemingly broke down, telling him you are worried that you might fail your math class

• He hugged you, a reassuring smile on his face while he calms you down. You are in lucky because he is really good with numbers (He is the Ultimate Programmer)

• So he offers to tutor you so you can understand in any of the stuff you need help in!

• You feel so happy, and so lucky to have someone as kind and sweet as him. And so now you two study dates together and go over any math material you don't understand, and he helps you with it!

【Mikan Tsumiki】

• Mikan is always one to notice some kind of change or shift in anyone's mood

• So once she sees that you are worried about something, it ends up worrying her as well

• Did she do something? Did she mess something up? Are you thinking of breaking up with her? Oh the thoughts were endless and just kept on coming

• But since she's learning to not jump into any conclusions, she decided to ask you on what's on your mind instead

• "H-hey S/O?,, um,, I noticed you seemed to be worried about something,, A-and if you need someone to listen or anything, t-then I'm here for you."

• You apologized for making her worried and told her that you are just worried about possibly failing your math class

• Oh? Just math class? She breathes a sigh of relief that it's no related to her or anything close to her thoughts

• She's really good with numbers! So if you want then she can help! She loves feeling useful to people, especially when it comes to you

• You take up on her offer, so now you don't have to worry about math class anymore, and your nurse girlfriend can feel useful (and happy) helping you

【Ibuki Mioda】

• lmao this girl is probably failing math too or close to it

• Ibuki would immediately know your situation, she can just sense your worries (and because shes with you almost 24/7)

• This hyperactive musician never wants to see you worried, since you two are always bouncing from one place to the next with positive vibes

• Albeit she isn't exactly the best at comforting, she is great at distractions!! Math isn't something that's worth worrying about anyways

• Ibuki would basically do anything if it means that your focus is on something else besides some math class. Wanna listen to music? She's down for it. Maybe you just wanna listen to her talk? Cool she's got so much to say anyways!

• The possibilities for distractions from her are pretty much endless

• Plus if it makes you feel better, she's on the same boat as you. Math was never really Ibuki's strong suit, but she never let that put down her mood

• So you two can worry about math together! But for now it's not the time to worry about it

• Right now, you just get to spend time with your wonderful girlfriend

【Miu Iruma】

• Lets just say - comforting people isn't her specialty, to you or anyone in general

• But even then, she is determined to cheer you up, no matter what the source of your sadness may be

• Usually, you would go to her directly for any sort of help that's in her field of speciality

• Today, however, you were hesitant. You needed someone to just vent too, but is the Ultimate Inventer herself, your proud and cocky girlfriend, really the best person to do so?

• You go to her anyways, and tell her about your worries

• And as expected, she laughs and says a snarky comment or two (but it's all in good fun)

• Don't worry though! This gorgeous girl genius has a plan to help you get rid of these worries

• She would show off any of her latest inventions to you, ranting on about how it works and its functions. Plus if you really want, you can test a few out for her (or just to mess with them)

• But if that doesn't work then you would get hugs and kisses, maybe a few cuddles by the end of the day!

• And if anything, she could help you in math if you reallyyyyy need it

• You sure are lucky that your girlfriend is always their for you

❀•°•═══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ═══•°•❀

I swear I didn't plan these to be long- I just had so many i d e a s

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed reading them!! I tried hard to make them original as can be

Feel free to request anything, my inbox is always open! ♡♡

~ Mod Toko 💜

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luminous-shifting-vibes · 3 years

Text

actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server

out of context of course, what do you take me for? a sane person?

"they made lightning mcqueen hot"

"inch resting"

"Nix: Cars (2006) several people are typing..."

"im evaporating"

"enjoy precipitation"

"tow mater is more attractive than lightning mcqueen/hj"

"lightning mcqueen looks like he would call me a slur"

"why did I come back to a discussion regarding the attractiveness of vehicles"

"lark is the braincell of shiftblr tbh"

"you all need some grass in your life"

"me over here simping for block men and now literal cars"

"didn't nick wilde commit fraud canonically"

"i have no strong opinions on whether or not nick wilde is attractive"

"I AM AROMANTIC AND I AM NOT IMMUNE TO NICK WILDE"

"I am bisexual and I. Am not into Nick Wilde based on a simple fact he looks like he will drink all my pepsi and call me names"

"What is shiftbkr but not a bunch of simps"

"cries in Bianca Monroe"

"listen i have a folder called gayass

it is mostly pictures of kyoka jiro and virgil sanders"

"Nick Wilde x Reader where he steals your car 📷 carjacker to lovers AU 📷"

"he says "mama i like to step on keyboard""

"MY MOM JUST WALKED IN AND I HAD TO TELL HER I WAS LOOKING AT LIGHTING MC QUEEN HUMAN FANART"

"crab walks away"

""Y/N..." Nick whispered into your ear. "Your car...is a Honda Civic, right?" You looked up at Nick with a baffled expression. "Nick, my beloved? Whatever are you talking about?" "Just asking..." He said as he let you out of his embrace. "Hey, wanna see a magic trick, babe?" Your eyes sparkled. "Really, Nick? Of course!" Nick smiled. "Ok, close your eyes!" You giggled and closed your eyes, waiting for Nick to tell you to open up. Instead, you heard the loud rumble of a car starting up, and you open your eyes. Nick has stolen your car, and he has driven off into the sunset..."

"did y'all know his name used to be canonically Montgomery--he changed it to lightning mcqueen to get rid of his past"

"That is my exit number"

"cars trauma arc"

"wait do y'all know about car jesus" "as if jesus wasn't a ford focus in the bible"

"oh yall do not want to know about the trauma in my cars dr lmao"

"Dewit tau style babey make Lightning McQueen outlive everyone and stalk their reincarnations"

"Do they baptize other cars in like gasoline then"

"there is a pope car in the cars universe which means car jesus died for cars sins"

"NOT THE BOOMER MEMES"

"-lays facedown on the floor while caramelldansen plays-"

"like im serious how many of you guys endorse me falling face down on my floor" (NOT THE SAME PERSON AS PREVIOUS QUOTE)

"I will be Tall and no one can stop me"

"is a soft floor?"

"stop I thought faceplant meant like a succulent in the shape of a face instead of falling onto your noggin for a solid 10 seconds"

"Touch some grass??? What about eating grass"

"what if for every employee of the month i just printed out really horrible boomer memes"

"what ab smoking grass /j"

"Can the grassdirt smoothie be a special in the cafe"

"PLEASE IM ROLLING ON THE FLOOR REWRITINH THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE WHIKE SPEEDRUNINT MINECRAFT"

"you have to get good dirt from like the middle of a pennsylvanian forest for it to taste good though"

"I ate a four leaf clover as a kid cause i thought it would make me lucky"

"guys how do i see the mee6 leaderboard"

"I used to think i was half dragon and I ate plants out of sidewalk cracks"

"i think i punched someone"

"my parents told me to stop doing that so I looked at them and ate a flower"

"I ate grass when I was 9 bc I read warrior cats and thought I was a medicine cat ....................."

"bees are just spicy flies"

"I had a mental breakdown when I was three cause I didn’t know how to turn off a phone"

"My mom drank a bee once"

"when I was a baby I kinned ink sans."

"bro who here find the yellow hat man from curious george fine as heck 📷📷📷"

"mY LUNGSSSSSS"

"no one topping Him"

"I like em big"

"I think Moto Moto has no game like move over hunky boy I could beat you 1v1 Roblox Arsenal 📷📷📷"

"If you didnt have a crush on springtrap, jeff the killer, or Underfell/Gaster/Error sans don't talk to me /j"

"LOOK THEY'RE BOTH DILFS WITH ABS THAT WOULD FIGHT GOD"

"ZORO IS BANNED"

"Guys please help I found my old fnaf fanart from when I was 8 I'm in literal tears"

"OH NO BOT MY FIFTH GRADE HAMILTON PHASE"

"The worst attraction ive ever had has to be Sombra Overwatch"

"My family is like "save all ur art so I can sell it when you're famous" I literally could not sell this if I tried"

"screaming puppet"

"I just remembered Ive drawn overwatch/hamilton crossover fanart"

"my hermit crabs ate each other again"

"we're cannibals ????"

"having me here is a curse you have inflicted on yourselves and I for one am glad for it <3" "scitters around like a crab in anticipation"

"CARB DAY"

"WE NEED TO HAVE A WATCH OARTY"

"hey y'all ill be right back i have to throw away a crab carcass"

"if I watch cars I'm going to start laughing in the middle of it nonstop just because the word cars is funny and also cars are funny like how do you move silly little metal box with rubber circles"

"Lark asleep post catboy pitbul"

"Mwista Wowldwide! Nya!" "hermit crab 2: electric boogaloo"

"Is that why your name is chaos"

"manifest the crab power!!"

"cool dex fact: i can't read 📷"

"sighs adds to worship these entities list"

"with a knife <3"

"yeah and if he betrays me I could probably throw him across the atlantic ocean"

"give me his eyes"

"my good citizen i am a- wait no im nonbinary nvm"

"it worked on a fish idk what to tell you"

"what is gender??? Is that a board game?? If so can I be apples to apples that one's my favorite"

"CHUTES AND LADDERS"

"anyways actually my gender is Candyland"

"Oh god romes the destroyer of friendships/j"

"i am a simple gay i see math i run in the opposite direction survival instincts 101"

"math my beloathed"

"algebra makes me want to rip open a bag of swedish fish and swallow them whole"

"cackles in they're au characters and this will be very fun"

"pog !!!! me too ksajgks one of my drs is a sanders sides au"

"Is that bipper"

"tumblr sexyman"

"Good because he’ll fuck u up if u hurt a child"

"I want a wing-suit"

"looks like a bean would poison someone"

"my hermit crabs are cannibals what can i say"

"sonic the hedgehog kinnie"

"get yourself a man who is capable of the most ungodly actions but won't do them because of their morality owo"

"tell him he can steal my wallet"

"eyes"

"idk about y'all but I need blueberry sweet tea to live"

"y'know the red souls from soul eater i really want to eat those"

"but like only respectable crimes like stealing from elon musk"

"You can go cultbashing with he!"

"He acts like a flamboyant gay man, but if a flamboyant gay man was straight."

"Simp Satan 📷"

"definitely arson"

"They look like they enjoy lemon squares and other lemon desserts"

"Satan is all-powerful but he spends most of his time building honeymoon locations because he is convinced that the protag loves him"

"bc shes the reincarnation of his dead wife or something i guess"

annd here's a quote from our very own dream (@shiftingwastaken) that sums this post up:

"shiftblr but context makes it worse"

#not shifting #shitpost #out of context #tw cannibalism #tw stealing #tw poison #tw swearing #tw: drugs #tw: smoking #tw: death

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zabiume · 3 years

Note

i would love to hear more about your orihime thoughts! particularly on her characterization in fanfiction. what to do and what not to do. i love my girl, and i feel ya-- when an ichihime fic does her dirty, sometimes i'll try to slug it through to see if it gets better, but that's not really a guarantee. i love how you treat all the characters with such care, especially the karakura six. so please indulge us with more of your wonderful thoughts and brainworms!

Ahh, I love the main six so much, they’re such great characters and they all have really lovely interpersonal relationships with each other, so I’ll never get sick of talking about them lmao, but Orihime and Ichigo especially are two of my favorite characters and I think they’re just neat! I don’t want to be like,,,an authoritative voice on what people should or shouldn’t do because everyone has a different interpretation and the fun in fanfiction is having that creative freedom to do what you want, so do keep in mind these are my opinions and observations and in no way reflect any sort of scale on what is Objectively good.

TLDR: Me and my trashbag opinions under the cut ✨

I think one thing Kubo really excels at is writing Orihime with nuance, and some of the things he did with her really elevated my own view of what good characters can do in a story. He made so many mistakes with her, but reducing her to “Nice Girl, Big Boobs” was not one of them. The Hueco Mundo arc is really as much her arc as it is Ichigo’s, because it’s where she’s confronted with her own flaws and Kubo uses them as a baseline to develop her further in the next two arcs. Jealousy, weakness, dependence, stumbling over herself to stop Ichigo from getting hurt -- these were the four hoursemen of Orihime’s flaws early on and Kubo tackled every single one of them over the course of FB and TYBW arcs. Could he have done more for her? Sure. Am I happy with the screentime/focus we already got? Hell yes.

Now, I’ve read a lot of Orihime fics, from IchiOri, to TatsuHime to Ichi/Ruki, to RenHime, and even the less popular ones like ByaHime, Shuuhei x Hime, Shinji x Hime and RiruHime, and each ship tends to put different spotlight on her various canon traits, but for the sake of analysis, it’s generally agreed that she is 1) quirky/weird, 2) gentle/kind, 3) emotional and 4) a pacifist

The extent to which these traits are exaggerated usually depends on the ship. IchiOri writers like to work with her gentleness/quirkiness a lot as a complement to Ichigo’s own hardheadedness/rationality. In small doses, this works really well. Good IchiOri writers play on the goofy back-and-forth, light teasing dynamic that they have in canon where Ichigo plays the straight man to Orihime’s quirkiness, like the infamous Bread Scene, or Drainpipe scene, or the Post-battle Piggyback scene. In excess, you have the dreaded Little Blue Men. I don’t know who started this trend, but it’s seeped into the mainstream IH consciousness and there’s nothing we can do about it. The best kind of Orihime writing is when the writer embraces her weirdness in tandem with her intelligence. Orihime’s weird food, or her weird imagination or her weird jokes aren’t ironic because she’s a dumbass, they’re ironic because she’s generally very smart. She’s a Smart Dumbass. She scores cent per cent on her math exams but can’t think to use the stairs instead of flying down a drain pipe. She’s the kind of girl who would pour salt in her coffee on accident and then try to convince her friends she did it on purpose to gain extreme and hilarious reactions from them. I bring up IchiOri fics because they’re usually the ones who write this element of her character more, but it really applies to her in all pairings because she’s Like This with everyone. In canon, the other characters are exasperated by her but they don’t actually believe she’s stupid, just silly. In fanfic, characters think she’s serious, which has a way of painting her as very disconnected from reality/dumber than everyone else. A good rule of thumb to write her humorous elements would be to just emulate the atmosphere of a room when a friend makes a bad joke and you’re just Done With Their Audacity.

Orihime’s gentleness/kindness has its place and purpose in canon, too. Orihime isn’t forgiving to just about everyone. Think about how she treats Ulquiorra when he talks shit about Chad, vs how she treats Loly/Menoly when they talk about her. Think about her reaction when Ginjo was going to attack Ichigo vs when Grimmjow was choking her. Orihime isn’t forgiving to a fault, she just had really low self esteem in Hueco Mundo and had resigned herself to the possibility she might die. She only forgives enemies when they’re no longer a threat or when they’re on the literal verge of death and in need of closure. Orihime excels at reading between the lines for ‘what characters say‘ vs ‘what they actually mean’. This is why she’s good at reading closed-off characters like Ichigo, Uryu, and Riruka. The one time she fails to read someone is Urahara, but that was when she’d convinced herself she was useless, and no one really understands him, anyway, so who can blame her? TLDR: Orihime is tough and gentle and the nuance of writing her involves understanding what situations evoke her anger and what situations evoke her sympathy.

Ichi/Ruki fans & Non IchiOri fans like to play up her emotional aspect a lot, especially with how they deal with doing the legwork in making her move on from Ichigo and fall for the intended pairing instead. TatsuHime fics do this well-- very true to her character--where Orihime gravitates slowly from Ichigo to Tatsuki and no losses are borne to anyone, just as she would want. One thing I’m deadset on as an Orihime fan (and obviously, you’re free to disagree) is that she would never, ever consciously confess to Ichigo, regardless of whether her feelings are requited or not. I think this is why I have a hard time reading fics where she asks him out and he pity-dates her because a) she would never ask him out and b) she would know if he’s not into it because, like I said, she can read him really well. This is up to interpretation, but the reason I think so is because of how Kubo wrote her feelings for him in the manga. If Orihime’s Five Lifetimes speech was supposed to be indicative of his feelings--requited or not-- for her, he would have been awake. Ichigo’s feelings for her have never been a factor in whether or not she loves him, because he’s just a good guy and she will always love his shonen protagonist ass. People tend to write her feelings for Ichigo as source of suffering, but the reality is that she likes being friends with him, and being by his side makes her happy. She doesn’t see her relationship with Ichigo as “just friends” because their friendship is so wholesome and complete in and of itself that there’s nothing “just” about it. Orihime would totally love reading fics where she’s evil, though, because she’s just Like That. Imagine if Kubo had done a breaking-the-fourth-wall omake with her, like they did in Deadpool. Peak meta comedy.

(Part 2)

Bonus:

I will forgive any IchiOri fic if they make Ichigo blush AT LEAST 2-3 times during,,,,you-know,,,,because that dude does not know what a cl*t is and you cannot convince me otherwise

#im sorry this got so long i hope it's what you wanted #governthestars #i tried to be as objective as possible #i love talking about orihime though so my inbox is always open for orihime asks #meta #asks #we need more shun shun rikka fics #orihime inoue

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moldisgoodforyou · 3 years

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Feel like Sophie’s dad is gonna be more supportive of Rafe when he gets his internship (if they golf tg and he finds out there) than his own father.. ward wrath is not something I would want to have lmao

yes and thank u for this !!! the perfect transition piece for me lol

wordcount: 1.1k

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“Rafe, kiddo!” Sophie’s dad called out across the parking lot, clubs slung across his back. The two had seen each other around at the course when Rafe had been there for obligatory client meetings for Ward’s company, but Mr. Flint had always been too busy to say much more than hello. Rafe paused mid-stride, brightening when he realized it was her dad calling out to him. “Mr. Flint, hey, how have you been?”

“It’s Jeff.” Her dad corrected Rafe as always, catching up to him. “I’m good, what are you out here for today? Going to another one of your meetings?”

“Ah, no, sir, I’m just hitting at the range. Stress relief.” Rafe joked, though the strained smile he gave betrayed him. Sophie had told her dad some of what Rafe had to endure through work and at home, but told him not to mention it, afraid it was sharing a little too much of his personal life. Mr. Flint nodded and clapped him on the shoulder affectionately. “Mind if I join you?”

“No, not at all.” Rafe grinned. He had always had friendly experiences with Sophie’s dad, and it was just about as close as he could get to spending time with Sophie herself these days, as pathetic as that was.

“Heard from my girl lately?” Mr. Flint asked, setting up his clubs next to Rafe’s on the driving range.

“A little, here and there.” Rafe shrugged, driving his tee into the grass. “She’s really busy, so I only really get to hear from her for twenty minutes or so before she goes to bed.”

Her dad nodded. “That makes me feel a little better. We’ve hardly heard from her since she left.”

“Yeah, I think she likes it though. Maybe a little too much.” Rafe cracked a smile and her dad returned a sympathetic one. “She’ll be back before you know it. You’re keeping busy with work though, it seems?”

“I am, I am.” Rafe nodded and hit his first ball much shorter than he liked, feeling a little nervous around Mr. Flint - feeling the need to impress him. Sophie’s dad pretended not to notice, busying himself with a few warmup shots of his own to give Rafe a chance to get better. “You’re here the whole summer, then?”

“Hope not.” Rafe mumbled, then cleared his throat. “No, sir, I’ve applied for a few internships back in Columbus that would start in July. Still waiting to hear back from two, I’d go live with my friend for a week until I could move into my senior house.”

Her dad perked up, glad he brought up the conversation first without him accidentally slipping that Sophie had already told him. “That’s big news! Will you hear back soon?”

“Supposed to today for one of them, yeah.” Rafe smiled at his encouragement, standing a little taller. “I’m not sure if I’ll get it, I was kind of nervous for the interview.”

“I’m sure you crushed it, kid.” Mr. Flint watched Rafe take another swing, then gave him a gentle nudge to the arm with his club. “Straighten your left elbow. I know I’m not your instructor anymore, but you know you can do better.”

“Yeah, yeah, sorry.” He seemed to shrink back into himself a little at the reminder, then hit another golf ball following his instructions. Mr. Flint nodded approvingly with a grin. “There you go, I knew you had it in you. Just needed a little pointer.”

Rafe glanced up for approval right away after hitting the ball, and beamed when Mr. Flint encouraged him further instead of just nodding like he was used to with Ward. “I’m a little rusty, sorry.”

“No need to apologize. Are you excited about this internship? If you’d get it?” Her dad asked.

“Um…” Rafe paused, not sure how much he should share. “I’d like to be back with my friends in Columbus, not many of them are still here this summer. The internship would be okay.”

“It’d be supply chain, right? The one with Jeni’s Ice Cream?”

Rafe cocked his head. “How’d you know that?”

Her dad hesitated with a sheepish grin, caught. “Soph told me she wanted you to get that one, so she could get the free ice cream supply.”

“She talks to you about me?”

“Of course she does.” Mr. Flint smiled. “Is that the one you want?”

He nodded. “Yeah, that’s the one I’m more interested in. Fun perks, I guess, I just.”

“You can tell me.” Her dad encouraged.

“Okay, uh. I’m just not sure I want to do that for the rest of my life, you know?” Rafe gestured to the golf course. “Like, how’d you figure out you wanted to do this?”

“I started as a math teacher, actually. Middle school.” Her dad laughed as Rafe wrinkled his nose. “I know, I know. Did it for about fifteen years, then I decided I wanted to keep teaching, but do something I was interested in.” He hit his last ball with a satisfying crack. “Now I get to spend my days out here teaching the same snotty middle-schoolers, but some of them end up being better than others.” Mr. Flint grinned.

“Fifteen years.” Rafe echoed, letting out a low whistle. “Long time to do something you don’t love.”

“Yes, well. It’s more about just your job. It’s about the time you’re spending with who you love, who you come home to. That’s what’ll make you happy.” He stepped back off the range, giving Rafe space to hit his last few balls. “Go ahead, let’s see your swing.”

Rafe gave him a grateful smile, knowing he didn’t know just how much of an impact those few words had on him. Instead of responding, he just hit the next few balls, concentrating on making the best shots possible until he felt a buzzing in his pocket and fished his phone out, brow furrowing when he recognized the Ohio number. “Uh - do you mind if I -”

“Go.” Her dad nodded encouragingly and Rafe nodded quickly, answering as he strolled out to the parking lot. A few minutes later, he came back sporting a wide grin. “Mr. Flint - er, Jeff!”

“You got it?”

“I got it!”

“Atta boy!” Her dad pulled him in for a quick hug unthinkingly, clapping him on the back. “See, nothing to stress about.”

“I gotta call - is it okay if I -” Rafe gestured to his phone, unable to get his words out.

“No, no, go for it.” Mr. Flint smiled knowingly and handed him his bag with his clubs placed neatly back in it. “Tell her hi for me?”

“I will, I will.” Rafe grinned. “Thank you, for this.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

taglist: @whoeveniskendall @kkmaybank @karsinner @outerbanksbro @outerbankspreferences @randomficsandshit @sunshineitsfine44 @jailcalledlife @tovvaa @moniamaybank @illbesafeforyou @dontjinx-it @freddymaybank @jjmaybankzz @g4bster @oopsiedoopsie23 @babygal-babygal

#we gonna ignore top in the gif #he's just so hot there #i live for backwards cap rafe #rafe x sophie #mine #frat rafe #college rafe #rafe cameron #rafe cameron fanfic #rafe cameron fanfiction #outer banks fanfic #outer banks fanfiction #obx fanfic

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