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#i do not have words to describe how much i appreciate your pieces but i also have so many. but not enough space. never enough space.
silverofthunder · 17 hours
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i decided to share a rec list of some of my fave fics. my "to read" list is still long and i wish i could read so much more but as the time is limited... well, you know. heck, people literally have whole masterlists i could recommend but anyway, i wanted to give a little shoutout to some of the fics. there are some super duper great writers in this fandom and i can't tell enough how much i appreciate your work. my humblest thank yous to all! ❤️
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Haeresis Heiress by GhulehVous || mature
if you want to read some family-centered shenanigans, this is your fic. dad!Secondo is surely something you didn't know you needed - though in this case, the path to parenthood is not that smooth. 😊 lots of humor and awkward situations so far!
In the Darkness of Your Dreams by @the-curator1 || 18+
demon!Copia makes me melt. he's so sweet, i want him to protect me, too. 😊 beautifully written piece. ❤️
In Cold Blood by @da-rulah || 18+ (dark fic)
absolutely great. this is creepy but in a captivating way. reading this was like watching some horror movie. this surely would be an amazing horror movie.
First Bite by @ghuleh-witch || 18+
Dracopia, do i need to say more? what a delicious little treat. 😏
Winter Chill <> The Date <> Question Marks <> Couple Skate by @kissingghouls || 18+
i loooooove Mary Goore in these. all are such a delight to read, you will fall in love Mary if you already aren't in love with them/him.
Napping in the Clouds by @ramblingoak || SFW
aww, such a cute steampunk family-centered piece. Secondo and little Copia are so adorable!
Blinded by @lilspacewolfie || 18+
love the devil!Terzo concept and and this is just delicious. beautifully written. (i definitely need to read more...) ❤️
I Knew Nothing But Shadows by @writingjourney || 18+
a masterpiece. such a beautiful, raw story that really hits all the spots within you - honestly. it feels like words aren't enough to describe this. just wow. ❤️
Ribbons & Ties by @anamelessfool || teen and up
such a great world-building, lovely story about Terzo and Omega's relationship. ❤️
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cherryskirbycorner · 18 days
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so I finished reading iyd where it's currently at a few days ago.
i am incredibly normal about @post-it-notes7 's Heart and Soul series. I can be trusted with these freaks I promise I won't keep microwaving all of the strawberries and blueberries I promise.
anyway good lird these two have been through so much. they need eepy time + bonus wishful thinking first few chapters in a nutshell
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foxy-eva · 11 months
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Temptation
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Summary: Your new skirt is too tempting for Spencer to resist
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader
Category: Smut 
Content Warning: (18+, minors DNI) Dom/Sub dynamics (Dom!Spencer, Sub!Reader), teasing, mild degradation, praising, unprotected sex, rough sex
Word Count: 1.5k
Masterlist
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Even after months of dating you still got excited when you knew Spencer would walk through your door any minute now. Today your heart was fluttering especially hard, unable to wait much longer to see your boyfriend's reaction to your outfit choice. A final look in the mirror let a wide smile spread over your face.
Spencer had never seen you in a skirt that short and you really wanted to know what he'd have to say about it. 
When you heard the door to your apartment opening, you walked over to greet your boyfriend with an innocent peck on his lips. 
"Are you hungry? I can prepare something for you," you chirped as you attempted to walk over to the kitchen. 
Spencer was quick to grab your arm, hindering you from walking away. 
"Not so fast, young lady," he chuckled as he unabashedly checked out your body. "What are you wearing?" 
"I bought a new skirt!" You announced. 
"I can see that."
You turned around to allow him to take a better look at you, snickering, "Do you like it? I think it looks cute."
"I do like it. But cute is not the word I'd use to describe it," he told you. 
The smirk forming on his face gave away how much he appreciated your outfit. His hands found their home on your waist, pulling you closer until there was no distance to be found between the two of you. You couldn’t hold back your giggles when you realized that your plan of getting his attention with your new skirt had worked. 
Leaning down to find your ear he whispered, "No need to act all innocent when you look so sinful."
"I don't know what you mean," you lied, pressing your body further against his until you could feel the growing bulge in his pants. 
"Are you sure about that?" He purred as he let both of his hands wander down until they reached the hem of your skirt. 
Skillful fingers pushed the fabric up to feel the bare curve of your backside, revealing what Spencer had already suspected. 
"Did you forget to put on panties?"
He squeezed your flesh harder than you'd expected, letting a gasp escape your throat. Any coherent thought quickly left your mind and Spencer was aware of that. 
"My sweet girl," he playfully mocked you. "Not even able to dress yourself properly."
You swung your arms around his neck as your knees became weaker with every second passing. He knew exactly what his teasing would do to you and he also knew that it was the reason for you to wear such a daring piece of clothing in the first place. 
"Did you forget how to use your words, too?" 
"No," you protested and paused as you attempted to come up with a witty response but your head was empty. 
"It's okay," Spencer cooed. "I know exactly what you need." 
He found your lips in a hungry kiss while walking you backwards until you collided with the dining table. Your whole body was burning for his touch and he showed no hesitation to grant you some exactly that. When you attempted to sit on the table he grabbed your hips to stop you. You found his eyes, unsure of what he had in mind. 
That changed quickly once he turned you around and demanded, "Be a good girl for me and bend over."
With one firm hand pushing against your shoulder blades he brought you into the position he wanted you in. Your forearms met the cool wood of the dining table, building a contrast to the heat rushing through your body. Spencer stepped back to take a moment to look at you. 
"You look so pretty," he groaned before his hands made contact with your body once more. 
"Please," you begged him to end your misery. 
Slowly he pushed your skirt over your hips, exposing your skin. One of his hands moved over the curve of your backside, burying his fingertips into your supple flesh before moving them between your legs. When he found that your arousal had already coated your skin, a deep groan left his throat. 
"How are you already that wet?"
His fingertips parted your folds, carefully exploring you without granting you any relief. Instead of responding to his question, only whimpers fell from your lips. Little did he know that you had already been dripping with desire the moment he stepped through your door. 
He removed his hand and demanded, "Answer me."
You turned your head to be able to look at him from the corners or your eyes and whispered, "I was getting excited for you to get home."
You felt him pushing his hips against yours, his clothed hardness pressing into your skin. He knew exactly what you wanted but he still wasn't done teasing you when he asked, "Is that all?"
His hands flew to your waist, gliding underneath your shirt to feel more of you. Despite already feeling light-headed you knew that he wouldn't end his torture until you would tell him exactly what you wanted. 
"I want you to…," you began but were interrupted by a moan falling from your lips when you felt his fingers brushing over your breasts. 
"So desperate," he chuckled. 
After taking a deep breath, you tried as hard as you could to find your words. You were certain you’d completely lose your mind if you didn’t feel him inside you soon. 
"Fuck me, please," you begged. "Please, Spencer. I need you."
The sound of him undoing his belt made you even more desperate. It took him just a few seconds to let his pants drop to the floor but it seemed like an eternity to you. When the tip of his cock made contact with your wetness, you instantly tilted your hips to let him glide into you.
"Here,” he groaned. “Take it like a good girl."
He pushed into you with one swift motion, finding no resistance from your body. You were ready to take all of him in, eager to finally be completely filled out by him. When he reached your deepest point, he took a moment to appreciate the sensation of being enveloped by you. 
Without a warning he began pushing into you at a ruthless pace. Spencer was aware how pleasurable that angle was for you, having no reason to hold back. You couldn't hold yourself up on your elbows anymore, your upper body lying almost flat on the wooden surface of the table. The piece of furniture shook from the force Spencer was displaying but neither of you seemed to care. 
The room quickly filled with the sounds of your shared pleasure and your bodies colliding over and over again. For a moment you envied Spencer’s position. There was hardly anything you loved more than watching his cock disappearing inside your body. You were sure that he was mesmerized by that sight right then. 
Closing your eyes, you focussed on the sensation of him pushing into you. You were at his mercy, unable to move away as he gripped your hips tightly to take you more forcefully than ever. With each thrust he reached your deepest point, stretching your walls in the best way imaginable.  
He grabbed a fistful of your hair, turning your head until he could see the side of your face. His cheeks were flushed and his chest was heaving as he moved against you but you were sure he had never looked more beautiful. 
Without slowing down, he purred, "Is that what you wanted?" 
"Yes," you sighed. 
You wanted to tell him how good he made you feel, how much you appreciated him always taking care of you like that. But no words made it past your lips, the pleasure clouding your mind making it impossible to speak. You hoped that Spencer knew anyway.
"You feel so good," he cooed. "So fucking good for me." 
When he got dangerously close to his breaking point, he slowed down his motions.
"Don't stop," you whimpered. "Come inside me, please."
"Fuck!"
That was the last thing you heard before he began thrusting into you almost erratically until you felt him sharing his essence with you. The sensation of him losing himself inside you pushed you over the edge as well, each of his throbs answered by you pulsing around him. 
When he had nothing left to give, he stepped back, removing himself from you. You whined at the loss of contact but he was quick to soothe you by wrapping his arms around you as soon as you were back on your feet. 
"Are you okay, love?" He whispered before softly kissing your cheek. 
"Yes, just gotta clean up."
Spencer told you to wait for a second while he disappeared in the bathroom just to return with a damp washcloth moments later. He motioned for you to sit down on the dining table, finding your mouth in a sweet kiss before beginning to carefully rid you of the evidence of your shared desire. When he was done, you wanted to get up but he hindered you from moving away. 
He smirked at you and let you know, "I'm not done with you yet."
He grabbed a chair to sit down in front of you, spreading your legs further to make room for him. As he began kissing up your thigh, you knew one thing for sure - you definitely needed to buy more skirts. 
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If you enjoyed reading this story you should check out the other fics in my NSFW Masterlist!
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Taglist: @nomajdetective @reidsbookclub @spookydrreid @gspenc @justreadingficsdontmindme @samuel-de-champagne-problems @matthew-gray-gubler-lover @malindacath @pauline5525mgg @sanaz1dlol @luredwithpretzels @reidselle @alexxavicry @frickin-bats @spencersprettyslut @s4r4hsblog @sebs-oxygen @beepbooptoop @lovejules888 @liltimmyst @encyclo-reid-ia @lilibet261 @fandomstuffff @spencer-reid-wonderland @happymangospot @conniesanchor @reaux02 @ellamaianderson @cynbx @dashneydanger @melifluorei-d @bitchassbecky691 @iameternallylonely @hotchandspencearedilfs @kobaltdragon @amititties @lover-of-books-and-tea @castiels-majestic-wings @torigorie @emiliaserpe @thenerdthatwrites @reidtopia @velvetthunder93
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ovaryacted · 3 months
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CANDY HEARTS
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PAIRING: RE2!Leon x fem!reader
SYNOPSIS: It was Valentine's Day at the precinct and everyone was giving out candy grams for their secret admirers. Who knew that one piece of candy would have so much of an impact?
CONTENT/WARNINGS: FLUFF. Mutual pining. Alcohol consumption. One kiss. Flirting and confessions at the end. Canon-adjacent. Modernized era (they have cell phones). The og gang is together and are all above the age of 21. Leon being silly and not knowing about social cues. Chris plays matchmaker & Claire is a jokester. Jill likes margaritas and Rebecca is the mom of the group. They are all friends and live happily ever after cause I said so.
WC: 3.7k
NOTES: I am back from the dead, and I come bearing gifts. This was just something I wanted to write for Valentine's Day, and I don't even know how the idea came along the entire way. Here’s some nice fluffy stuff with a bit of added corniness, something new from me. Hope you all enjoy and like it! Comments, likes, and reblogs are greatly appreciated!
✰ ── 《 Navigation ⟡ Main Masterlist ⟡ AO3 》
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February, supposedly the month when red and pink mesh together to signify the one thing that couldn’t be explained. Love. Romance. Companionship.
It was a silly thing really, something that Leon didn’t understand, mostly because to him, it couldn’t be real. That didn’t mean he wasn’t curious, that he always wondered what it would be like to be so attached to another person it felt like being two parts of one whole. 
It was another full week of the month, the days passing by as quickly as they started. Another day, another patrol, that was what he knew as part of his routine. Heading toward his locker to grab his gear, he was surprised to see a small heart-shaped lollipop wrapped in a red bow. He raised a brow at the strange object, curious fingers reaching out to inspect it closer.
“What do you have there?”
His head turned to the side at the sound of your voice, more so feeling your breath on his neck as you peered over his shoulder. Holding up the red lollipop for you to study, you took it from his grasp, the very tips of your fingers barely touching his before you held the wrapped candy.
“Leon, do you even know what this is?”, your eyes held that same mischievous gleam it always did when you were with him, and simply gave you a shrug. “It’s a candy gram silly”
“What? Someone just put a lollipop in my locker?”, Leon didn’t get why someone would even bother putting something like this for him to find.
“It’s for Valentine’s Day, something that the precinct wanted to do to celebrate. If you get one of these, it means someone is your secret admirer”, the way you described the entire ploy was almost comical to him, and he only chuckled.
“So it’s like a crush type of thing?”
“Sort of. Did you even read the note?”, and from the way he looked like a deer in headlights you knew he didn’t. You motioned over to the small red note that was hidden underneath the piece of candy. Carefully, he went to unfold it and read over the words that were written in cursive black ink.
I can’t turn water into wine, but I’m hoping to turn you into mine.
You watched as Leon quickly became flustered at the funny pick-up line, rolling his eyes and trying to hide the subtle blush he got from reading the words over and over again.
“I don’t like this game”, Leon grumbled under his breath, trying to shake off his embarrassment and scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.
“Oh cmon, it’s supposed to be funny. But listen, if you don’t want your lollipop I’ll gladly take it”, you smirked as his eyes met yours, pink lips curling up to match your grin.
“What? You didn’t get any candy grams of your own so you have to steal mine?”, he unwrapped the lollipop, popping it into his mouth and humming as he approved the taste. Cherry, his favorite.
“For your information, I got three. I just munched on all of the candies already I wanted another”, you placed your hands on your hips, the uniform only accentuating the curvature of your figure that Leon tried his hardest not to notice.
“Really? You got notes too or were you too busy eating your lollipops you forgot to notice”, he was teasing you now, going into his locker to put on his tactical belt and wrapping it around his hips. It fit snugly on his body, the leather belt he wore underneath to hold up his cargo pants seemed to add to his slim figure. Not that you were paying attention either. 
“I did, but didn’t pay too much attention. I got a nice one though, said something like My candy heart is all yours. Real cute stuff”, you leaned against the wall as you waited for Leon before going on patrol. He was one of the only good things working at the R.P.D. had to offer, and coincidentally it just helped that he was also your friend. Having known each other for a while now, being like this came naturally, remembering how easy it was to be with him when you two first clicked. 
“Sounds corny”, he said with a shake of his head, closing the metallic door and gesturing the both of you to start walking out of the room and into the main hall.
“Yeah, you’d know everything about being corny wouldn’t you?”, you taunted him back as you walked through the halls of the precinct, keeping track of all the patrols you had on the board today.
“Yeah yeah, whatever. Are you coming on this patrol with me or what?”, he already knew the answer, didn’t have to so much as second guess to know that you’d be riding along with him.
“Of course I am. Who else will bother you with their favorite pop songs?”, you walked ahead of him, and his gaze went down your back to look at the handcuffs that jingled every time you took a step.
He definitely wasn’t looking at anything else.
-
It was a long day of work patrolling the city before Leon finally had some time to himself to relax. Thankfully, he didn’t have to work the overnight shift and could lounge at home to watch some shitty reality TV or whatever tickled his fancy. Of course, that was before he got a text message from you, ever the pest constantly wondering what he was up to. Not that he complained.
There’s a whole theme night going on at the local bar. Free shots at 10:30 pm. Bring your ass over here, and wear red!
Drinks? With you? That wasn’t anything out of the ordinary considering how familiar it felt to be around you, but he still couldn’t think of anything else he wanted to do for the night. So, he pretended like he didn’t want to be dragged out of his small apartment as he trudged his feet toward the shower to get dressed. He shouldn’t have cared so much about being presentable, usually, he never did. But for you, he was willing to try new things.
For the first time in probably ever, he’s forgone his usual color palette and took out a red button-down, rolling the sleeves up towards his forearms. Leon was always more fond of shades that reminded him of the sky, blues, greens, and white. Red was out of his comfort zone, but going out on Valentine’s Day night was enough to make that ball of anxiety tighten in his gut. Topping it all off with a bomber jacket, he left the keys to his jeep behind and took a cab instead, playing it safe if he ended up drinking something that would surely knock him off his feet.
He seemed to be counting down the minutes to the moment he walked into the bar. Scanning the area, he looked for any sight of you amongst the crowd, walking past several pairs of people lip-locking and downing shots in groups. The energy was electric, the music was lively, and as he continued to trek further into the bar that’s when he spotted you.
There you were, sporting a red deep-cut blouse and leather pants that were tight along your thighs. He caught the glossy red lipstick you put on for the occasion that only brightened your teeth as you laughed with those around you. And when you turned your head to find him standing there, he gulped down the pang he felt in his chest.
Yeah. He’s screwed.
“Finally, I’ve been waiting for you for so damn long. Good to know you listened to me for once”, you walked up to him, grabbed a hold of his wrist, and pulled him toward a corner of the bar where your other friends were sitting. Unless you cared to look for it, his pulse spiked when your fingers wrapped around his wrist. Maybe you felt it, maybe you didn’t, but that brief touch was cut short when Leon was brought to the table.
Most of the newfound gang was there, Chris and his sister Claire were there sharing a beer, while Rebecca was forcing Jill to be a bit more social. It was supposedly a normal night even though you were out of your uniform, forcing Leon to find a point on the wall to avoid peeking over in your direction. Chris kept him occupied, offering him a drink that he sipped to ease the nerves he felt, all while Claire teased him about wearing red instead of his usual navy. This wasn’t so bad, I’ll make it through the night, he thought to himself. 
It only took a few drinks for everything to spiral out of control. The blame is to be put on tequila. It was always tequila, but thank god it was the weekend. 
Just like you warned him, 10:30 pm rolled around and the bar burst into cheers as servers carried shot glasses filled with red liquid. Everyone at the table had one, and Leon watched as you downed the shot with ease, a wild grin on your face as you did. With your encouragement, and Claire’s taunting, he drank the shot and winced at the stinging of the liquid going down his throat. He hated taking shots, that you knew, but he’d do it so long as it made you happy.
This is why you leave the clear liquor to me and you stick to your beer. He remembered hearing you say that to him one night when you made him drink vodka, the raging hangover he got in the morning only further proved your point.
He’s lost count of the number of shots you consumed, splitting them between Jill and Claire, and an extra you forced Chris to take despite him sticking to his beer. Rebecca remained as the group chaperone, making sure nobody did anything too embarrassing tonight. Hearing a particular song that brightened your mood, you brought Claire towards the middle aisle where others seemed to follow you to dance in the small space.
Propping his elbow up against the wooden table, Leon leaned back to simply watch you move to the music. His whole body felt warm at the sight, seeing how you swayed your hips to the beat of the song and Claire did the same. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, his eyes ran up the stitching of your leather pants, over the deep v-line cut of your blouse, and again towards your face. Sure, you were attractive, he wasn’t blind. But what he was the most fond of was your smile, all cheery and wide to the point where the corners of your eyes crinkled.
He could see that look all the time and never get sick of it. The only thing he’d change was that he was the reason why you beamed like that.
“You’re doing it again”, Chris said out loud with a smirk, knocking Leon out of his little fantasy before meeting eye to eye again.
“I’m not doing anything”, he challenged in denial, Chris only chortled and shook his head.
“Unless you’re watching Claire dance, you know exactly what you’re doing”, the brunette matched his sister in humor, Leon exasperating in disbelief and took another sip of his beer. “You like her. You should do something about it”
“Chris…”
“C’mon, man. How much longer are you going to stand on the sidelines and just watch? Even I’m getting tired of the tension, it’s killing me”, ever the dramatic man, he wrapped a thick arm around Leon’s shoulder, bringing him in closer as if he were telling him a secret.
“You had a chance with the candy grams you realize that right? Sure, free candy but why not make it special?”
“Who says I didn’t do just that?”, the blonde said before it could be filtered out properly, sighing and downing the rest of his bottle.
“You’re joking. Seriously? She got like three of those things”, Chris’s brown eyes widened the slightest bit, not wanting to believe the truth.
“Does it look like I’m laughing right now?”, Leon chuckled incredulously at the realization that these feelings he’d been harboring for so long were starting to pour out of him the more he drank. “I don’t know how to talk to her. Besides, it doesn’t matter anyway, she’s not into me”
“Leon, you must be an idiot or something because she is into you. Who do you think gave you the candy gram?”, Chris muttered, probably not meaning to say it the way he did but it sounded like a confession.
Leon didn’t have time to ask for more details when you came back to the table on his side, an energetic Claire going towards Jill who was down three margaritas and growing sleepy. He could practically smell the perfume off of you, jasmine and soft vanilla, things that he found comfort in and sought after through his day-to-day.
“I think that’s enough dancing for me, I got dizzy”, you said, finishing the last bit of your watered-down drink and slamming the glass down on the table. From the way you were standing, your body almost leaned against Leon’s, ever inching closer toward him.
“Do you want to leave?”, Leon asked you, ever the concerned friend and partner despite the fact the alcohol was starting to get to him too.
“Nah, I’ll stay a little bit. Do you want to go?”, the way your eyes were hazy when you spoke to him brought that same twitch in his chest he usually ignored when he was around you.
“If you’re good, then I’m good. I’m not leaving without you”, he didn’t mean to say it in a different context outside of friendly, or maybe he did, but when he avoided a visceral reaction from you he figured he was in the clear.
“You got it boss”, you joked with him, but your hand lightly skimmed against his by accident, a shock running through you from the light touch. You didn’t meet his eye, instead, you felt the way his pinkie came closer to your own, discreetly curling around the digit.
It was a shy touch as if to gently test the boundaries of what was other than a cordial relationship. Leon started to grow anxious, thinking maybe he messed up, his mind beginning to spiral until you squeezed his finger back in silence. He tried not to make it obvious, but he looked over at you to see you smiling, and for that second he thought his small dream had come true.
“Another drink and then we’ll call it quits”, Chris’ voice popped the bubble that you were both in, but your hands didn’t move from where they were.
Yeah, one more drink couldn’t hurt, so long as you two remained like this for the rest of the night. 
-
Leon regrets having that one last drink. The world around him was spinning, and his feet were lugging across the floor as if he was going to sink into the Earth any minute now. He nearly forgot that he wasn’t going home alone, that you were beside him, doing your best to support his body as you brought him over to your place like you had done a few times before.
Unlocking the door to your apartment and walking inside, Leon was hit with the same scent of jasmine and soft vanilla that he recognized as your own, faint layers of cinnamon engulfing him when you brought him over to your couch in a slump.
“I’m never letting you drink that much again”, your voice sounded almost distant, but it was comforting nonetheless. You walked away from him, your footsteps growing faint until you came back with a glass of water he graciously chugged.
“Wasn’t so bad, I can handle my liquor”, he slouched further into your couch, his head beginning to whirl from everything he drank.
“Leon, I had to carry you inside. You’re drunk”, you glanced at him with that same mischievousness you always had reserved just for him. Even if you had a better alcohol tolerance than he did, your pupils being dilated told him that you were in the same predicament
“Not complaining”, he was damn near mumbling now, his head pivoting to look at you fully. You were right there next to him, all dolled up in a way he hadn’t seen before. In the back of his mind, he imagined you did it just for him.
So pretty.
“You think so?”, your voice brought him out of his current haze, watching as he blinked once or twice before realizing he said his inner thoughts out loud.
“I-I…huh?”, Leon was stuttering now, looking towards the floor and growing embarrassed at the slip-up. You couldn’t help but giggle under your breath, and he prayed to God it wasn’t at him.
“Leon…I don’t know if you can tell but I’ve been trying to send you signals that I like you for months now. You’re a tough nut to crack”, you were speaking, but your words stopped filtering through his brain the moment you said the words ‘I like you’.
You like me?
“Yes, you cornball, I do”, you answered him anyway, catching him off guard at the response. At this rate, he’ll spill his deepest darkest secrets because he can’t tell the difference between what he’s thinking and what he’s saying. “The candy gram, that was me. Thought it might register in your head but it didn’t”
Leon looked like he had uncovered the biggest truth known to man. It was astonishing to witness, how he couldn’t process the thought that you were actually interested in him. You could see the gears starting to turn in his head, and once the revelation settled in his mind his lips were formed in a gentle smile. 
“That was a really bad pick-up line”, Leon said, making you laugh even harder. Your hand made contact with his chest, patting against his body with every sound that slipped past you. 
“And yours was any better?”, your hand didn’t move from where it sat on his chest, mindlessly caressing the material of his red button-down. 
“Yeah, I think ‘my candy heart is all yours’ is one of my best works”, he was almost cocky when he talked, but his facial expression was anything short of dorky. You both looked like a bunch of love-drunk idiots waiting for one to say what the other wanted to hear. 
“Hmm, that sounded like you. Is this you admitting that you gave me that candy gram?”, you were leaning on him, shifting so your body was closer against his. The tequila still running through your system heightened your senses, the natural scent of Leon’s cologne was enough to make your heart flutter. 
“Something like that”, he grinned bashfully, blue eyes looking at you intensely. He took in every detail of your features he could get, moving some of your hair out of your face and curling it behind your ear. His hand didn’t move too far, resting his palm against your cheek and running his thumb against the warmth of your skin.
“Would it be bad to kiss you?”, he whispered his words to you, as if his feelings would only be safe in the four walls of this room. 
“No, I’ve been waiting for you to ask me”, you moved so your chest was pressed against his, hands moving up towards his neck and caressing the hair at his nape. 
Leon didn’t have to wait too long to feel your lips meshing with his, sighing in what he could only describe as pure satisfaction. A shiver rushed down his spine and broke off into the rest of his body, blood pulsing through his veins at rapid speed the more his heart pumped in his chest. He pressed your body against him, wrapping an arm around your waist and keeping his other hand on your cheek.
Leon felt drunk, both literally and figuratively off of you and everything that you were. Things made sense for the first time, having you like this here with him. It was all he wanted, all he needed, and he doesn’t think he’ll ever get enough. Against his wishes, he pulled away for air, staying close by to rest his forehead against yours. 
“About damn time Kennedy”, you teased him again, but your expression was tender. You noticed how your red lipstick stained his lips, no doubt leaving barely any left on your mouth. “Red looks good on you”, you put a thumb against his lips, rubbing at the plush skin you just felt for the first time.
“Does this mean I get to ask you to be my Valentine?”, he looked so cute when he asked you, rolling your eyes at his question, but you found it endearing.
“You’re two hours too late, but I’ll happily be your Valentine anyway”, you gave him one more smooch on the lips, and the happiness on his face was damn near palpable. “But you owe me a better one next time, you hear me?”
Next time.
“Loud and clear. I’ll have a better pick-up line to use on you”
“If you start getting corny, I will leave you on the couch”, the playful threat didn’t worry Leon in the slightest, his smile getting wider with every passing second he spent with you.
“Awe come on, I meant what I said. My candy heart is all yours”, his nose nuzzled into your neck, kissing your soft ticklish skin and breathing you in, marking your scent into his memory.
This time around, he thinks he’ll thank the tequila instead. Perhaps Cupid is real, a little overdue, but he still got the job done in the end.
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375 notes · View notes
alexa-fika · 2 months
Note
Hello! A couple more ideas for you to have! *Pls don't feel pressured to make them :(
• Rayleigh and shakky finding out child!reader is being bullied
•Marco/whitebeard pirates trying to give child!reader a check up but as normal kids will be kids
These little stories provide me with such comfort so thank you for that and remember to take care of yourself before anything♡
His One-Piece ( Whitebeard Pirates x gn!child!reader)
A/N hey hey! So I have something kind of similar to what you describe but not exactly, but the same concept but not really but at the same tome it is but not at the same time Got it? 👍🏼 Thank you so much for the kind words 🥹. I went ahead and did the second one and I Think I COOKED 🫦
Here Reader is Replaced by Dokusha which stands for Reader in Japanese
Dividers by @/saradika
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Izou sighs, still trying to get the struggling child in his grasp to stop moving
“Dokucha, it’s just a checkup,” sighs Marco
“We won’t do much, just going to take your temperature and weight, maybe see if you have any issues,” Marco sighs as he tries to calm the squirming child down
“Dokucha, we just want to make sure that you are okay,” grunts Izou, struggling to keep up with the abrupt and constant movement of the child
“Last time, you told me it wouldn't hurt, and you stabbed me!”
“It was a shot,” the doctor says, exasperated
“You shot me?!” the child screams
“No-
“I trusted you, Marco-nii!, Izou-nii!”
“H-Hey! “ Izou protests as the child manages to wiggle his way out of his grasp and run out of the door, leaving the clinic and the two men behind
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Dokucha pouted, hiding in one of the kitchen’s cabinet
They look up as the doors of the Cabinet open
“How did you find me?” they mutter
Thatch sighs while Ace simply huffs at their statement
“You always hide in the same spot when you get scared,” he answers
“I appreciate that my station is the one you like to hide in, but I would prefer if you stopped sneaking into my Kitchen.”
“Sorry”
“It’s alright,” Thatch sighs
“You know you can’t hide from him forever, right?” Questions the flame-man
“Marco simply wants to do a regular checkup on you; it’s a quick procedure,” The Chef explains, trying to ease them into it
They shake their head
“Okay, Okay, can you come here?” Thatch asks, trying to coax the child out of the Cabinet
They look at him suspiciously
“I promise I won’t take you to the clinic until you are okay with it,” he assures them
They stare at the commanders a few seconds longer before eventually crawling out of the cabinet and nuzzling into Ace when he picks them up
Ace chuckles warmly as he tries to make them comfortable in his arms
“Why don’t you get the checkup and be done for?” Thatch asks softly
They shake their head, digging their head deeper into Ace
The men glance at each other, both coming to the same solution to coax them into completing the checkup
“Hey, Dokucha, how about we make a deal?” Ace asks
Dokucha lifts their head from his shoulder, looking up at them
“How about if you get a checkup done, you get to do something special with us?” Thatch offers
“Like what?”
“Like getting to help me finish making dinner?” offers the Chef
“And maybe take a lap on the Striker,” Ace suggests
The child perks up at their offers
“Really?”
Thatch smiles. “of course, but you have to get your checkup done first,” he states
“Promise?”
Thatch smiles and looks at Ace, who nods as well
“Of course, promise.”
“Okay”
Thatch ruffles their hair
“So, how about we go to the clinic first, then?”
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Dokucha turns around to glance at the two men, who smile and gesture for her to enter the clinic
They turn back around, walking through the clinic door
“There you are!” exclaims Marco, his eyebrows furrowed in worry
“Where have you been? I got worried.”
They fidget in their spot
“It won't hurt?”
Marco tilts his head, confused until he realizes that Dokucha is asking about the checkup, and he shakes his head
“It won’t”
They nod
“But no shots!”
“You don’t need any, so no, no shots.”
“Okay, but if you give me a shot, I’ll…I’ll…” they pause to think, suddenly thinking of a threat that was acceptable in their little mind
“I’ll be really Mad at you!”
Marco chuckles warmly, lifting Dokucha up and gently putting them on the table
“Sure, Sure”
As soon as Marco turns around to grab his stethoscope, they inch farther away from him, sitting at the far end of the examination table
Marco turns around, narrowing his eyes at the Child
“Dokucha?”
“yes?”
“It’s a little hard to do the checkup with you over there. Could you come over here?” he said, gesturing to the spot in front of him, where he had initially placed them
“I’m good.”
He sighs
“How about I tell you what each tool does?”
…okay” they say, scooching to their original spot
“Okay, the Stethoscope is what I use to listen to your heart and lungs,” he said, showing them said tool and placing it near their chest
They squeal as soon as he does
“It’s cold!”
Marco chuckles fondly as he moves the stethoscope around
Once finished, he offered the earpieces to the child
“Would you like to hear?”
“Yeah,” they say, smiling as he gently places the stethoscope over their ears, putting the chest piece in place
“Is that mine?”
“Your heart,” he confirms
“My heart?”
“Mhm,”
“Are you ready for the next one?”
“Can I listen a little longer?”
He smiles and nods
“How about you keep listening while I finish your checkup”
They nod absentmindedly, smiling at the steady beating
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“Grandpa Grandpa!” the child screams happily, running towards the giant man
Whitebeard grins as he places the bottle he had been drinking from down and lifting them to meet him eye-to-eye
“What are you doing here, Dokucha?” he asks warmly
“Grandpa, I got my checkup done! And Marco-nii gave me a sticker!”
The captain smiles gently and pats the child on the head gently
“Gurarara, did you?”
“Yeah! And I listened to my heart and...
Newgate smiles, hearing the small child rambling about their checkup, his chest swelling with happiness as he realizes he had finally accomplished his goal; he had created a family, his family, his one Piece
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Idk I lowkey thing is all over the place but I really wanted all my bois there, but try as I might I couldn’t fit Vista : ( What we thinking? Were the scene changes smooth ish?
Taglist:
@imaginarydreams
@amethystviolin
@h0n3y-l3m0n05
251 notes · View notes
leossmoonn · 5 months
Note
can you please do a fluff piece where Mike realizes he’s falling in love with the reader? maybe he’s scared at first and doesn’t know how to express himself to the reader (established relationship)? I feel like “labyrinth” by Taylor Swift would best describe what I have in mind! thanks for writing, love your work :)
thank you so much! this was so fun to write. i hope i was able to capture your idea!
————
the first thing mike notices about you is how gentle you are. you aren’t always kind, and you get heated quickly. sometimes you say things you don’t mean or your exhaustion catches up with you, but the way you care and love is gentle.
he sees it in the way you cook dinner for him and abby and bring it all the way from your apartment. he hears it in the way you compliment and gush over him every day. he hears it when you assure him that he’s not a burden and his worries are valid. you show it in the way you massage his shoulders after a hard day of work. you show it in the way you kiss him awake in the mornings you stay over.
mike’s never been in a relationship like this. he can’t confidently say he’s ever been in a relationship period. women aren’t exactly lined up at his door. but when he met you, something just felt different. it truly felt like his whole world flipped upside down.
he’s never had an abundance of affection in his life. not since his brother disappeared. it was almost uncomfortable for him at first. accepting your quick pecks, long hugs, and sweet words was hard for him. he grew to appreciate everything you said and did for him, though. he realized that this is what he’s been missing in his life. your affection is what he’s been craving ever since he was a child.
but knows he can’t give you it back. or more so, he doesn’t know how to. he has all these feelings for you: joy, excitement, intimacy, passion, gratitude, and trust. yet, he doesn’t know how to display them. every word he says comes out in a rush and mumbles. he stutters as he tries to compliment you, his tongue suddenly feeling numb. he’s even afraid to instigate anything having to do with holding you, afraid he’ll somehow break you because you’re so perfect and he’s tainted.
the day he realizes he’s falling in love with you is on a sunday morning. the rain is pouring so hard it wakes mike up. he reaches out to you, only to grip empty sheets. he gets up, putting a pair of sweats on and sees you and abby in the kitchen. you’re coloring with her while sipping some coffee. there are a stack of waffles by you with a glass of orange juice for abby. mike can’t help but smile. if he had a camera, he would take a picture and frame this moment.
“good morning, sleepy head.” you greet him. you get up from your seat, walking over to him and hugging him. “how’d you sleep?”
“good,” he says. he instantly relaxes as you touch him. he leans into your warmth. “did you?”
“i always do when i sleep with you,” you smile. he blushes and smiles bashfully. “i’m glad.”
“i made some breakfast if you’d like some. i made it more for you and i, but abby ate some as well.”
he loves the way you take care of abby like she’s your own. you two got along from the start, which really eased mike’s mind. abby’s a tough cookie to crack, but it doesn’t seem like she’s invincible when it comes to you.
you kiss him on the lips. this kiss is soft and fleeting, but you press into him to make sure he knows it means something. he loves how different your kisses can be.
in front of abby, you kiss him chastely. there’s no need to stick your tongue in his mouth while his baby sister is there. but behind closed doors, you kiss him like you’ve been waiting to for eternity. it’s relieving because that’s how he kisses you, too. those types of kisses are often messy and wet. they usually lead to clothes being strung across the room and grabby hands. when mike’s had a bad day or isn’t feeling well, you kiss him on the forehead. whenever you stay over, you never fail to kiss his cheek before falling asleep in his arms.
“thank you,” mike says. “it smells delicious.”
you two sit down at the table, watching abby color. “is that me?” you ask. “yep,” abby nods. “and is that mike?” you point to a male stick figure.
“no, that’s one of my friends from school. this is mike.” she points to a stick figure with horns on it. you can’t help but laugh.
and god, he loves your laugh. although abby basically called mike the devil, he can’t help but smile. this laugh is your true laugh. it’s loud and drawn out, usually ending with a big sigh. you claim to hate it because you tell him you sound like a clown nose, but he enjoys it.
after eating, you convince abby to shower. now it’s just you and mike. you both get ready for the day, mike getting ready at the speed of light. you’re still picking out your outfit, even though you’re not even sure you will go anywhere important today.
mike just sits and admires you, telling you that everything you put on looks good on you. he knows you hate that answer, but he truly believes it. he loves the way you roll your eyes and start to get whiny after he says that. he loves the way you try so hard to look good, even though you could literally be wearing a trash bag and he’d still find you beautiful. as you scurry through the bedroom, he can’t help but catch onto your perfume and body wash. he loves the way you smell. so clean and fresh, even if you’re sweaty and hot.
“we should go out somewhere,” you suggest. “it’s pouring rain outside,” he chuckles softly.
“we could go grab lunch or dinner. you can wear that new shirt vanessa got you for your birthday.”
“i’m not so sure i like it.”
“oh, stop,” you shake your head. “you look so handsome in that shirt. and plus, it’s like the only nice shirt you have — no offense. you should wear it out. i know i won’t be the only woman staring at you.”
mike’s ears feel hot and a big smile encompasses his face. he loves how confident you are in him. everybody he knows he’s not the worst looking guy, but he doesn’t think he’s someone you stop and stare at because you can’t believe your eyes. he hates his eye bags and his soulless resting face, as abby calls it. he knows he looks angry a lot, mostly because he kind of is. you don’t seem to mind, though, or even notice.
you always want to go out and show him off, telling him how handsome and cute he is. he can’t deny that it makes him feel good. he loves that. he loves everything you do for him. there’s no denying it. he just loves you.
mike twiddles with his fingers and looks down at his lap. the words just repeat in his head.
i’m in love with her. i’m in love with her. i’m in love with her.
he feels his throat constrict and his heart race. everything nasty he’s ever thought about himself rises to the surface. he can’t be in love with you. he doesn’t know what it’s like to love somebody that isn’t a family member, and even then, the way he shows his love to abby is unconventional. all mike knows is how to push people away and pick fights and be alone.
“babe, are you okay?” you ask, placing a hand on his shoulder.
“hm? yeah,” he says, glancing at you.
“you sure? you looked like you were spacing out a little bit.”
“yeah,” he repeats. “i think abby’s done in the shower. i’m going to take one.”
“okay, sure,” you nod. “are you sure you don’t want to go anywhere?”
“um, ask abby. i don’t care,” he mumbles. he hastily grabs clean clothes and walks to the bathroom with his head down. you sigh loudly, racking your brain with what mike could be so upset about. maybe he had a bad dream and he just remembered, or something happened at work and he’s thinking about it?
either way, you feel as though it’s good to let him relax in the shower before pestering him about it. mike has a hard time coming to you with his problems. and not that you need to know every one or fix everything, but you just want him to be able to air it out so he can at least feel better.
most of the day is just you guys relaxing in the house. abby asks if she can go over to a friend’s house because her house is just so boring. you and mike take her and after you drop her off, you both run to the grocery store to pick up things for dinner.
“we should’ve gotten some dessert,” you say as you take the last bite on your plate.
“we can go back now,” mike says. “ah, it’s okay. maybe next time,” you smile.
he nods and picks up your plates, starting to wash them. you turn to face him, looking over him. you can tell his muscles are tense under his shirt. his jaw is clenched, which means he’s thinking about something that’s making him nervous. you can’t stand seeing him look sad anymore.
“hey, baby,” you say softly. you place a hand between his shoulder blades, gently rubbing his back. “you don’t have to do the dishes. we don’t have to be that productive.”
“i know. we aren’t doing much anyways. thought i’d do them before they pile up.”
you smile and peck his cheek. “you’re the perfect man, michael schmidt.”
he sighs and shakes his head. “i’m not.”
“of course you are. why would you think that?”
“because i…” his words falter and now you start to get nervous.
“mike, it’s okay. you can talk to me.”
“it’s stupid and… and just doesn’t make me the kind of guy you think i am.”
you sigh, your breath sounding shaky. “the only way you could not be is… is you killed someone or cheated on me.”
his eyes widen and he shakes his head. “oh my god. no. i haven’t killed anybody, and i would never cheat on you. you don’t understand how lucky i am to have you. and that i… i couldn’t ever think about cheating on you. no matter what state of mind i am in or if you hurt me first. you… you just… you’re everything to me.”
your heart swells and take his hand into yours, forgetting it’s wet from doing the dishes. you both share a small laugh and he dries his hands quickly.
“you’re everything to me, too, mike. and i want you to know that you can talk to me about whatever. i’m not trying to be a fixer, but i want you to know that i can be that person you vent to. i want to be that person. i want to carry your baggage. i want to share your scars. so, you don’t have to tell me what’s been on your mind now, or ever, but just for the future, know that i am here for you.”
he didn’t think he could fall any deeper for you until now.
“i know. i’m afraid i won’t be able to be there for you, though.”
“oh,” you say. “well, that’s okay. we all have times in our lives where —”
“i… i don’t mean emotionally. i mean, i do, but … it’s not easy for me to do what you do.”
you raise a brow. “and what do i do?”
“the way you…” he sighs, feeling so stupid. why can’t he just grow up? he’s not a teenager anymore learning about emotional intelligence.
“mike, go ahead,” you say.
“i… i’m falling in love with you,” he rushes out to where it sounds like i’mfallinginlovewithyou. you can’t help but let your jaw drop. “and i’m afraid that i won’t be able to show it like how you do. you’re so good at it. you’re so good at showing how much you care for me. i’m not the same. i want to be, but i don’t know how to. I’m afraid that you’ll realize that and… and leave me. which i would understand. it’s hard to give and not receive.”
you’re silent for a moment. mike searches your face, feeling like he can’t breathe. your face breaks out in a smile.
little does mike know, he does know how to show he loves and cares for you. you can see it when he reaches for you in his sleep, his hand searching for you even when he’s unconscious. he pulls you in, placing his hand on the small of your back without fail every time. you see it in the way he listens intently to your problems, never trying to provide a solution, only listening because he knows that’s what you need. he shows his love for you by holding your hand or waist in public, always keeping close to you and looking out for anybody threatening.
mike may think all these things he does are small, but you think it equates to what you do, if not more. he may not show it outwardly like you do, but it doesn’t make it any less important or more able.
“mike.” you move closer to him, brining a hand to cup his cheek. “you have no idea how you show your love to me. it doesn’t need to be over the top. the way i show my love for you isn’t over the top. i just think you’re not used to have someone love you, so you think everything i do is special.”
“it is, though,” he insists. “well, i think what you do is special, mike. you don’t need to ever be afraid of me not thinking you don’t love me. cause i know,” you say.
he breathes out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “good. i’m glad.”
“why don’t we go and get some dessert,” you suggest. he nods, “anything you want.” he moves to grab his shoes and coat.
“and mike,” you say, stopping him. he looks up at you, his big brown eyes staring into yours. “in case you couldn’t tell, i’m in love with you, too.”
378 notes · View notes
skzhocomments · 2 months
Text
Clingy - Bang Chan Oneshot Fanfic
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General Masterlist
Pairing: Bang Chan (Stray Kids) x OC (name: Aera. Story is written in 2nd person)
Genre: angst, fluff
Word Count: ~3.3k
Warnings: a little angst, crying
This is just a story that doesn’t describe Bang Chan or other mentioned Stray Kids’ members true characters in any way. It’s just a product of my imagination and should be treated as such.
This story is also on Wattpad (click here) and AO3 (click here)
---
Summary
You overhear Chan and Jisung talking about how clingy you are, and it really hurts your feelings.
A/N: As any other writer out there, I would appreciate reblogs and your comments on this story. Please let me know if you enjoyed it, and most importantly, have fun!
© all rights reserved by skzhocomments (Tumblr), skzho (Tumblr)/ storminsidemycore (Wattpad), storminsidemycore (AO3)
---
Clingy
"Is Aera coming over today?"
"Probably."
"Tsk. She's always here. Don't you find it annoying?"
You were just outside the door when this conversation between Chris and Jisung stopped you dead in your tracks.
You've been dating Chris for just shy of a year now, and you figured out early in the relationship that he never has free time. He's a workaholic through and through, starting his days with early practice and finishing them with late nights in the studio. Thus, you came up with a solution: whenever you wouldn't be working night shifts, you would come visit him in the studio and keep him company.
You never interrupted or bothered him. You just watched him work, stealing occasional kisses when he'd take short breaks, taking care of him, bringing him food (as he more often than not forgot to eat balanced meals completely), giving him water when his bottle would run out, and massaging his shoulders when he'd feel particularly stiff.
You never considered yourself to be annoying, until now. And although you shouldn't listen to other people's conversations, you just had to know what your boyfriend thought about it.
"Annoying? How so?" Chris asked.
"I mean, she's being so clingy. She always wants to see you or be around you and she's coming by, like, every day. It seems exhausting."
"Oh... Yeah, I see what you mean. Well..."
"What?" Jisung chuckles.
"She is a bit clingy, yeah."
"It annoys me sometimes. I miss our bonding time in the studio." Jisung chuckles again.
"Yeah, it would be nice to sometimes have time to ourselves. Sure." Chan chuckles as well, and you start feeling your heart break into a million pieces with every word you hear.
"Oh, so you also find her a bit... of a nuisance?"
"I wouldn't say that... But she does suffocate me sometimes, I won't lie."
You truly didn't know that Chris viewed you as suffocating. He's never told you.
If he had, you would've never started to come to the studio.
Why did he even give you an access key?
Already on the verge of tears, you decide to turn around and give Chris what he obviously wants: time away from you. Just as you do, you see Changbin walking towards the studio.
"Aera!" He exclaims and runs to you happily, taking you in his arms and spinning you around. You've become close friends ever since you started dating Chan, and this was how he always said hi to you.
"Binnie!" You ruffle his hair and smile back.
"Did you come visit? Let's go." He grabs your hand, and before being able to protest, he opens the door and drags you inside.
You try to keep on smiling as you say hi to your boyfriend and Jisung, but now that you're aware of their true feelings towards you being here, you can't help but notice every small detail. Chris and Jisung give each other a knowing look, and you notice it. You just know it's because you are there again.
You wonder if Changbin feels the same way, if he also finds you annoying and suffocating.
Your chest is tight, and it's getting hard to pretend that everything is okay. It's difficult to breathe. You can't even bring yourself to speak much, afraid that Chris will find you smothering, so your words get stuck in your throat, choking you.
You don't even laugh much at their jokes, and you wonder how everything can change in just a span of 10 minutes. The studio used to be a safe space for you, where you could relax and be yourself, but it now feels like a cage.
It seemed like you could now notice all sorts of things you weren't able to notice before. Although Chan is his usual self, it somehow feels different to you.
He doesn't want to spend time with me; runs through your head repeatedly, and with every passing minute, it's getting harder and harder to stay there.
You want to leave.
No, you need to leave.
Your eyes are watering up and the pressure in your chest is crushing you; the throbbing pain in your heart is getting too much; your eyes start to water again; and you need, you need to find an excuse and run away from this place.
You have to come up with something - anything convincing enough so that Chris won't bat an eye. Something that wouldn't be too obvious a lie.
"Oh, shit!" You exclaim, and the three men in the room look at you with questioning eyes.
"What's wrong?" Chris asks.
"I just remembered! Fuck! I promised Jia I'm taking over her shift tonight! Shit! I have to go!" You jolt up from the sofa and grab your bag hastily.
I have to get out.
I have to get out.
I have to get out.
"Oh, no! Want me to drive you?" Chris asks as he stands up as well.
"No, don't worry. I know you have work to do." You smile briefly, then wave to Jisung and Changbin and begin to turn around.
"You sure?" Chan grabs your hand, making you look at him.
"Yeah. If I leave now, I'll make it just in time."
"Ok, babe. See you tomorrow?"
"Sure." You smile as he presses his lips against yours briefly, before you part from him.
"Text me when you get there, so I know you're safe."
"Will do, bye bye!" You turn around and leave the room with haste, and once you're finally alone in the elevator, with the doors closed and already moving towards the ground floor, you break down.
It's hard to stop the tears from flowing, the overwhelming sadness completely taking over you, and you feel every piece of you ache. It shouldn't hurt this much. He didn't say he didn't love you. He simply said you're suffocating.
It's not that bad.
Is it?
You realise that Chris is right; you are smothering. You've always been the clingier one in the relationship, and maybe it's time to take a step back and stop being so keen on spending time with your boyfriend.
Maybe you should simply let him initiate whatever outings he wants, whenever he has time, and you'll see to your hobbies and occupy your mind with something else but him.
You get home and join a class right away. You don't even notice what you've clicked on.
Pottery, apparently.
Whatever.
This will do.
~
"She still hasn't texted me."
"Hm? What did you say, Hyung?" Han raises his head from his notebook. They've been working on a new song for a few hours now, and whenever Jisung writes lyrics, he gets completely absorbed in them, not noticing anything else.
"I said, she still hasn't texted me. How many hours has it been since she left for her shift?" Chan asks uneasily. You've always texted him to let him know you're safe, so this felt completely out of character for you.
"Maybe she just forgot." Jisung shrugs.
"Have you tried calling her?" Changbin asks.
"Yeah, I did... she won't pick up either."
As he answers this, Chan's breath hitches in his throat. What if something happened? What if you've had an accident, or fell and hit your head, or- it was already pretty dark out when you left.
Why the fuck did he let you go alone? He should've taken you to the restaurant himself.
Fuck, why are you still working there anyway? He's told you time and time again that he can take care of you while you search for a job in your field. He knows how hard you've worked for your diploma and how disappointed you've been after searching for months on end with no results.
Why didn't you want to take him up on the offer? That would mean all the free time in the world, and more importantly, no night shifts.
"I'm sure she's fine, Hyung." Changbin puts a comforting hand on Chan's shoulder, pulling him out of his thoughts. "But if you're that worried, you could go to the restaurant. It's not far from here anyway."
"Is that okay?" He asks anxiously.
"Yeah. We can manage just fine for a couple hours, don't worry."
With a short nod, Chan stands up and grabs his coat.
"You're just as clingy as her." Jisung chuckles slightly. "Message us when you're there."
"Will do!"
~
Chris runs hastily to the elevator and clicks on the button for the underground parking lot, then hurries to his car. The ride to the restaurant is less than 10 minutes long, and he curses once more for not taking you himself.
He couldn't even spare 10 minutes for you.
Fuck.
He's definitely never felt shittier...
... until he reaches the restaurant, goes inside, and sees that you're nowhere in sight.
"Chris? Oh, hi! I almost didn't recognise you with your cap on. What are you doing here?" A girl approaches him with a large smile.
"Jia? I thought you weren't working tonight?" He stares at the girl in front of him in confusion.
"Yeah, I am." The girl replies, just as confused.
"Oh... is Aera here?"
"No, she's working day shifts this month. Hasn't she told you?"
"She did, I just thought... whatever, nevermind." Chan waves his hand and smiles. "Thanks."
"You didn't have a fight, did you?" Jia asks with a worried expression on her face.
Chan didn't know. Did you?
"... no, we didn't. Thank you, Jia. Have a nice shift!" He waves and leaves the restaurant, and as soon as he's back in the car, he takes his phone out to call you again, when he notices a text.
~
Sorry Channie, it's been chaotic at work, and I couldn't check my phone until now. I forgot to text you to let you know all's okay. I got there safe &lt;3
~
He freezes.
You lied. You've never lied to him before.
Why?
He decides not to call your bluff and plays along. You surely have a reason to lie to him, and he wants you to come forward yourself instead of having to confront you.
You're safe. That's all that matters.
Or that's what he's trying to tell himself, although doubts start running rampant in his mind. Your behaviour today has been weird, ever since you came to the studio. You avoided eye contact, you invented an excuse to leave after not even 20 minutes, you lied that you're going to the restaurant, and you haven't even messaged him to let him know you've gotten there, or home, or wherever the heck you've gone, safely.
With a sigh, he starts the engine and drives back to the studio.
~
"Babe, can you give me some water, please?" Chan asks in a quiet voice as he's trying to perfect a beat he's been working on. It's 2AM already, and he's growing tired.
When you don't answer, he asks something again, this time in a whisper.
"Did you fall asleep?"
There's still no answer coming from you, so he turns his chair around to see you, and then the realisation hits him.
You're not there.
In fact, he can't even remember the last time you've come to the studio to keep him company.
He noticed that ever since that night you lied to him, you've been acting strange. You no longer text him unless he texts you first; you don't initiate any dates or activities with him; and most importantly, you're never there.
He misses you.
Did you fall out of love? Are you trying to let him down slowly by spending less and less time with him?
Shit, he never expected love to hurt as much as it does. Your absence hurts.
He grabs his phone to text you, hoping that you're not asleep. It takes you 12 minutes to reply. 12 minutes that passed by agonisingly slowly, but he's at least grateful you actually replied. Waiting until morning would've been torture.
As soon as he sees your text, he calls you.
"Yeah?" You reply, your voice small. You always sound like this when you've just woken up.
Fuck, when was the last time Chan woke up next to you?
"Sorry, babe, did I wake you up?"
"Mhm. What's wrong?"
"I just- can I come over?"
"Now?" You reply, still sounding asleep.
"Yeah. I really want to see you."
"You have a key though..." You yawn. "... why ask me?"
"... I know. I'll be there in 10 minutes, okay?"
"Mkay."
Chan makes his way to the parking lot and checks his wallet, phone, and the keys to your place a hundred times. When he's sure he has everything, he starts driving. He usually loves late–night drives, but his heart is now ridden with anxiety, which makes it completely unpleasant .
In front of your door, he contemplates once more using your key. He used to use it and come over all the time, but he's been so stumped with work as of late that he can't even remember when the last time he's been here was.
The apartment is quiet and dark, so he does his best to not disturb the peace as he walks hesitantly through the hallway until the bedroom.
The lights are turned off in the bedroom as well, and you're now fast asleep again. Still, he comes behind you and spoons you; he lets his face come close to your head and takes in your familiar scent as he hugs you.
"You're home?" You ask quietly.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."
"It's fine." You yawn again.
"I missed you so much." He whispers, and you hum.
"Mhm. I missed you too."
"Do you... still love me?"
"What?" You ask, your voice audibly more awake now. "Of course I still love you, Channie. What kind of question is that?"
"You've been so... distant lately. You don't even come over anymore."
"Look who's talking." You chuckle slightly. "When's the last time you've been here?"
"... you're right. But..."
"I'm sorry." You whisper, feeling yourself on the verge of crying again. "I do still love you, but... I was suffocating you. Maybe it's better that we spend less time together now."
"What?" Chan sits up on the bed, leaving you feeling empty and your back cold. You sit up as well and turn on your lamp, and looking at his face breaks your heart. His eyes are glistening with tears, matching yours like a mirror.
"You... you said you feel suffocated by me... I know I'm too clingy, so..."
"Wait! No... When- when did I say that to you?" He frowns. "Maybe I've just-"
"To me?" You smile bitterly, cutting him off. "Never. But you told Jisung how suffocating I am and how you sometimes just want time on your own, so... I'm giving you that."
As soon as he hears your words, he remembers. He had one conversation about this with Jisung, which he realised was bullshit anyway when he noticed how much he thinks about you and how lonely he feels when you're not there.
"Baby, I-"
"Don't even bother denying it, Chris. I heard it."
You look away as you feel like starting to cry again, and tears start falling immediately after. Fuck, it's pathetic, really.
"Aera, look at me, please. I didn't mean to deny it..." He pleads with you, but it's hard to listen to him and raise your head. It's so damn hard to see him.
When Chris sees you won't budge, he doesn't know what to do. You're crying and shaking, and it's all because of him. He's hurt you.
He thinks about how he could make it better and decides to hug you tightly.
"Baby, look... I did say that, and I'm truly sorry. I was so, so wrong. Yes, you are clingy, but fuck, I don't want it any other way. I've missed you so much these past weeks."
You stand silent and just listen to him.
"I kept turning my chair around to look at you and you were never there. I kept checking my phone but there were no messages from you. I didn't even know if I could still use the key you gave me, or if you're not comfortable with that anymore..."
"Channie, how can you even think that?" You cry out, and he hugs you tighter. "This is your home too."
"I'm truly sorry... I've been up in my ass with work and neglected you completely, and only realised how much I need you by my side when you were gone..."
"Yeah." You whisper.
"Are we going to be fine...?"
"... Yeah, we are. Just... please tell me if it gets too much, mhm?"
"It won't." He kisses your forehead as he smiles slightly. "Thank you for forgiving me. But Aera, you know? You also lied to me." He chuckles. "You didn't have any shifts that night."
"I'm sorry... I was hurt, and- wait, how do you know that?"
"I went to the restaurant to check on you, and Jia was really confused to see me there." He lets go of you and grabs your face with his hands, running his thumb over your cheeks and wiping away all the tears.
"I just... felt so horrible. Hearing you say that I'm suffocating you was like a punch in the gut. I'm so sorry I was too clingy."
He shakes his head and presses his lips against yours.
"Please be clingy from now on. I thought it felt suffocating, but I actually got so used to the warmth of your attention, that being without it felt utterly depressing. So, please, keep clinging to me."
"... okay." You nod.
"And please come by and spend time with me in the studio again, hm? What about tomorrow evening? We can have dinner together, and then you can come hang out with me. If you want to, of course."
"Oh, actually-" She chuckles slightly, "I can't have dinner with you tomorrow, sorry. I can come after 9 to the studio, though."
"Why?" He tilts his head.
"Well, you see...?" You rub your nape, "I have a pottery class from 7:30."
"Pottery?" Chan laughs in disbelief. "When did that happen?"
"When I decided to fill my days with something else to keep me from thinking about you all the time." You smile sadly, and he pouts.
"But I want you to think about me all the time. I also think about you all the time."
"The pottery class will last for a few more weeks, so you'll have to make do." You poke his nose playfully, and he is quick to scrunch it.
"You're punishing me." He kisses you again. "Do you like making pottery?"
"Honestly? I'm shit at it." You say, and both of you burst out laughing.
"I didn't ask you if you're a pro or not. Only if you enjoy it."
"Mhm... I think I do." You smile.
"That's amazing. Show me what you've worked on."
You excitedly grab your phone and show him all the photos and videos you've taken in the past few weeks, explaining the techniques you've learned and how much you've been struggling to keep up with the class, and Chris listens attentively.
By the time you're done talking, it's almost 5 AM, and both of you are barely able to keep your eyes open.
"So, now that we're okay, should we head to sleep?" You ask, and Chris caresses your arm gently.
"Yeah. Let's sleep. Good night, my love."
"Good night."
He kisses the back of your head, and you both fall into a deep, restful slumber.
~The End~
277 notes · View notes
teyamsatan · 1 year
Text
Cruel Summer | Chapter I: August
Pairings: Neteyam x (f)Human!Reader
Word Count: 9.5k words
Warnings/notes: angst, allusions to/mentions of smut, friends-with-benefits, mutual pining, 18+ minors DNI
Synopsis: You and Neteyam have been friends since you were children, and you taught each other everything, from English and Na'vi, to movie references and hunting, to everything about your own and the other's bodies. It was the perfect friendship-with-benefits, on paper. But how long can it last in the face of all that stands to tear it apart?
A/N: I'm so excited to say my new Neteyam series is officially here, and I hope you enjoy the first chapter!! This was for some reason one of the easiest and at the same time, one of the hardest piece i've ever written, like some parts came to me almost instantly and others I STRUGGLED WITH, besties. I hope it's not super disjointed and that you're as excited as me to embark on this journey. Thank you for your patience and can't wait to hear your thoughts. As always, I deeply appreciate your replies, reblogs, likes and follows, they mean so much x ly besties xoxo
: ̗̀➛ listen to August here : ̗̀➛ masterlist (x) : ̗̀➛ series masterlist (x)
Your back beneath the sun, wishing I could write my name on it
Will you call when you're back at school? I remember thinking I had you
There was so much about you and Neteyam’s relationship, if you can even call it that, that was wrong and unsightly, that was forbidden and hidden. But, as you stood in the forest, propped on your elbows, taking in the sun shining brightly through the leaves and his toned, azure back, on which patterns of the forest branches rippling in the breeze formed, you couldn’t care less if you tried. In these moments, fleeting and irreplaceable, life was everything you’ve ever wanted, more than you could have ever dreamt, and enough to keep you going. In these moments, there were no humans and Na’vi, no impending doom, no animosity over your presence in the village, no hatred emanating from Neytiri’s entire being whenever her intense and prying eyes spotted you or Spider in the crowd or amongst her kids, no woman that would soon be bearing Neteyam’s children, there was nothing else, but him and you and the promise of hushed confessions and wandering hands, of lingering stares and breakable heaven. 
You couldn’t help be drawn by the silent invitation of his body, so tempting and beautiful, so big and different to yours, but just similar enough to allow for… certain enjoyable, mind-blowing pastime activities that were sure to occupy the time and every ounce of free space in your mind, and your soul, and your entire being. Your hand trailed on his back, from the nape of his neck to the band of his loincloth, moving over the scratches that you left on him just a couple hours ago, over the healed scars he got from battles and hunts that you could name and describe each of by heart, and you drew your name on his back with your fingers and the air beneath them as ink, hoping this way you’d mark him, this way you could keep him forever. Pushing the unpleasant thought aside, you playfully tugged at the purple fabric covering him. He turned around on his side to face you, his defined abs and chest fully on display, and the way he eyed you, desperate and needy, full of hunger and desire, made your stomach churn and core throb. 
“What do you think you’re doing, ma Vol?” 
Your mouth curved in a mischievous grin, which turned into a full-blown laugh as he grabbed your much smaller hands in one of his large blue ones and with very little visible effort, stretched your arms above your head and manoeuvred you on your back on the mossy, comfortable grass. He hovered over you, his smile mirroring your own from just a few moments ago, and he tapped the mask currently providing the oxygen needed to keep you alive with his index finger, the sound ringing in your ears like bells in a church. 
“I would give anything to not have this in the way right now.” 
“Me too. Death by make-out with a hot blue 9 something foot tall alien? There are worse ways to go.” 
He shook his head at you and scoffed, but you could tell he was amused. The desire you felt for him instantly diminished as the thought of the fact he would be heading home soon enough, home to his family and his new mate, crept unwelcome in the back of your mind and slowly moved forward, until it was everything, until it was the only thing. 
“Do you have to go back soon?”
He sighed and let you go, plopping himself back on the grass next to you, chest up and looking at the sky and the clouds moving above you, and all the shapes they made as they passed you by. 
“You know I do.” 
You knew. You’ve known for years, ever since the first time you and Neteyam started this game of hide and seek with the rest of the village, with each other, and with yourselves, that this was temporary, that one day, he would belong to someone else, and all you would be able to do is watch.
Salt air, and the rust on your door, I never needed anything more
Whispers of "Are you sure?", "Never have I ever before"
Your and Neteyam’s lives could not be more different. You were human, a tiny, inconsequential human, left behind after the war, unable to be hooked to cryo, so you stayed with the scientists who were fortunate enough to be allowed safe haven on this planet that was now as much their home as it was the Omatikaya’s. You knew nothing of Earth, other than stories told to you by your surrogate family and from whatever form of art they had with them, that brought them the comfort of a home long forsaken, but never forgotten. In time, it brought you comfort, too, knowing what Earth used to be like, knowing that humans were not just monsters, but had it in them to be smart, and kind, and funny, to create beautiful music, and poetry, to combine words, words that everybody had access to and everyone could speak, combine them in such a way that it brought tears in your eyes or happiness in your heart, that made you think and ponder about the meaning of growth, the meaning of love and laughter and life and death. It was beautiful, they were beautiful, and - you hoped - so were you.
•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•
You and Neteyam shared many firsts throughout your 19 years of friendship. Despite your differences, despite your incompatibility and despite so many challenges facing you, despite both knowing it was most likely wrong and shouldn’t have happened, you always found solace in each other. You found yourselves in each other. You were each other’s first kiss, first sleep over, first flirtatious touch and first wandering hands, first make-out, first second base and first third base, first secret affair. Everything you knew about each other’s bodies, about your own bodies, you learned together. What makes each other tick, what makes each other tickle, what makes each other cum. In time, you knew everything about the other and you made sure you took advantage of that knowledge as often as you could. 
The first time you and Neteyam ever kissed was when you were both 12, both innocent children, both curious. At that time, he was not a lot bigger than you, as it turns out humans stopped growing in height a lot sooner than Na’vi did. Now, your full body reached his lower ribs, but at the time, he was only about a head taller than you. It was short and sweet, and so so innocent, and yet, it never left you. That kiss, which at the time was just fulfilling a curiosity more than anything else, started a complicated and convoluted journey that was full of potholes, full of tight swerves and icy roads, full of dangers and darkness, but a journey worth taking nonetheless, because in the short periods of clear skies and sun-kissed warmth, it had the most heavenly sights and luminous vistas, and it was everything. 
The first time you shared a bed, you were 15. Actually, a bed is a very loose term. In reality, it was just a mess of sheets in one of the recreation rooms that no other human or avatar really frequented, outside of you and Spider. It was large and tall, and had a huge screen where you usually watched movies whenever the Sullys came by to visit. Neteyam taught you Na’vi and he, being the dutiful son and soldier that he was, would come by to learn English at least once a week when he was young, knowing it would one day come in helpful against the humans. He didn’t say it, but you knew he also did it to be more like his dad, yet another way he emulated the Toruk Makto.
His favourite way to learn is with you, as you were also learning as you went along, and both of your favourite way to learn is by watching Earth videos, and movies and tv shows, and trying to figure out what the references meant, what the idioms meant, how to use slang that made no sense to your ears without the scientists explaining it to you. When you were alone, sometimes, you liked to make your own meaning for phrases, and laughed at your own little private jokes that no one else would ever be privy to. One of those evenings, that started with studying, and a marathon of Friends, ended with tangled limbs and soft snores, covered in blankets and the warmth of each other’s bodies. It was so innocent, and so childlike, and so was the second kiss you’ve ever shared, that happened in between giggles and The One Where Ross Finds Out, where the tension that erupted between Ross and Rachel and the kiss that resulted off it, prompted a philosophical discussion around physical displays of affection and what the big deal about it was. After trying it out for yourselves, you concluded it was overrated.
That didn’t last long, as your first make-out came soon after, a little less innocent and definitely less childlike. You discovered maybe there was some truth in those shows, and you discovered that you both enjoyed the tingling on your skin and the butterflies in your stomach that each other’s touch provided. That lasted for a few years, and eventually progressed into this, whatever this was. Initially, it was just curiosity. Then it became about how good release felt, how necessary it was, how much the pleasure helped both of you unwind and go about your day, forget about frustrations about the labs, and training, and parents and surrogate families, it could all be solved by each other’s bodies. It was purely self-indulgent, it was friends with benefits at its finest.
•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•
But I can see us lost in the memory
August slipped away into a moment in time
'Cause it was never mine
But life never stopped around you, and the world didn’t stop around you, as much as it felt like it had when it was just the two of you. You both grew up, and while you were still the same human, still doing the same things and having the same limitations that would always plague you, Neteyam’s world was a constant whirlwind of which you were just a small breeze. In time, he took his Iknimaya and Uniltaron, he became a man, and a revered warrior, despite being only 19. Early last week, he even got a mate, and will soon consummate that mateship, and he will be bonded with her for life, and you will be just a part of the past, just a small reminder of his childhood, just a dull ache in a mass of growing pains. 
“What are you thinking about, ma Vol?” 
You smiled softly as his nickname pulled you out of your musings. Vol. He first called you that when you were kids, and he found out that on Earth, the eight month of the year, when you were born, was called August. The Na’vi had a name for August, and it was vospxìvol, and after the first time the word ever left his lips, so did any other name for you disappear from his mind. To everyone else, you were Y/N. To him, you were his Vol. His never-ending summer, your warmth surrounding him for all time, your day eclipsing his darkest nights. 
You wanted to be honest. To tell him what you thought about, what occupied your every other thought, what weighed on your heart so heavily it felt like it would overtake you, every day, all day, was him. It was how much, despite your unspoken agreement that this was purely physical, it got to mean more to you in time. It was how much you loved him, desperately and unconditionally, impermeably and forever. You wanted to tell him that you knew the rules, you knew that whatever this was couldn’t last, wouldn’t last, but there’s nothing more you wanted in this life than a way to make it last, to make him yours. That you curse your life every day that you will never be able to understand this world the way you were meant to, that you would never understand the bond the Na'vi have with it and with the beings in it, with each other, and that the thought of his queue, the most intimate part of him, a direct influx into his thoughts and feelings, connecting to someone else’s, made you sick to your stomach, made bile and acid gather in your mouth until it burned everything in its wake as you had to swallow you back down where it belonged. 
You felt stubborn tears pricking at your eyes and forced yourself to push them back away. Neteyam was your best friend, was the man that knew you more intimately than anyone else ever would and still, there were somethings better left unsaid, some cans of worms that would spoil even the most unfastidious of appetites. 
And I can see us twisted in bedsheets
August sipped away like a bottle of wine
'Cause you were never mine
“Just thinking about how I’m going to be able to explain all of these marks on my body, you fiend. I think I’m running out of ideas, there are only so many rashes Norm won’t get worried about, and only so many clothes that will cover all traces of you on me. I don’t have the luxury of shopping for more clothes, you know?” 
Neteyam laughed and you knew you were out of the woods and that he wouldn’t pry anymore. It was time for you to go back, time for you to deal with the unfairness of the universe in your own room, under the cover of darkness and solitude, drowning your senses in music and mindless entertainment. 
“Take me home?” 
He turned his back to you and knelt, waiting. You smiled at his unspoken way of telling you to get on his back, and obliged, attaching to him like a backpack. In reality, this was easier for him than walking next to you, as you were slow and a far cry from his nimble and athletic capabilities. Plus, it meant he got to keep you close a while longer, got to feel his heart beating on his back and your chest moving as you inhaled, and your breath in the crook of his neck. It was much better than walking. It didn’t take long for Hell’s Gate to appear into view, the big, mostly decrepit ruin of a city left behind by the humans large enough that it could be spotted from miles away. It was Jake’s decision as Olo’eyktan to have the Omatikaya village close-by, an attempt at keeping close to the scientists and uniting the two worlds, both of which you had a foot in, but nothing more - enough to not be homeless, never enough to truly belong in either.
“What are your plans for the rest of the night?” 
The silence was very loud, and you sighed in a desperate attempt to fill it. 
“You know you can say you’re going to see her. I’m not under any illusion that you have no contact with the woman you’re gonna spend the rest of your life with when you’re not with me.” 
It was his turn to sigh, and you found yourself regretting ever asking. 
“I know, but still…” 
“Yes?” 
“You and me… it’s… I -…” 
You chuckled bitterly. Neteyam wasn’t a man of many words, but he was a man who always knew what those words would be when they did come out of his beautiful mouth. He never blabbered, or got flustered, he was the most poised and sure of himself person you’ve ever met. And yet here he was, mind blank and uncertain tone, and you felt relieved, at least to some extent, that he wasn’t completely unaffected by this whole situation, that you weren’t going through this completely by yourself. 
“I know.”
“I love you, you know?” 
That you did know. 
Remember when I pulled up and said, "Get in the car"
And then canceled my plans just in case you'd call?
Back when I was living for the hope of it all
Neteyam’s mind tortured him today more than most other days, as so many memories of your life together enveloped him, and the warmth they provided was quickly dispersed by thoughts of a face, a new face, a known and yet strange face, the face of the woman he’s been promised to. They wrestled with images of your face, beautiful and alien, so different from everything he knew and yet so familiar, of your body that he knew so intimately, that he knew better than his own, images of it trembling under him, of your parted lips and the moans that escape it, of your eyes he dreamt about each night shut tightly as each orgasm washed over you, of your hands that always found their way to his back or his ass, pushing him deeper in you, or in his hair, pulling on it or tugging it behind his ear.
It’s been almost two years since the first time he’s known you like this. The first time, it was awkward and strange, there was so much fumbling and so much that neither of you knew, and despite how many movies you watched, there was very little information on Na’vi and human… relationships, so it took a lot of trial and error to get to where you were at now, a point of no return, a point of unspeakable pleasures and feelings that ran so deep, they’d put most oceans to shame. Feelings that he hid, because speaking them out loud would lead to only heartbreak. What you two had worked. It’s worked for so long, neither of you knew anything else. You were best friends, you knew everything about each other. So why would he ever risk it? Why would he ever ruin it, since there was no future anyway?
Somewhere in the back of his mind, Neteyam knew that what you did was wrong. It was wrong, but it never felt wrong. It felt so right. Despite all of your differences, despite all of the ways you could never be together, despite the fact that he could never form tsaheylu with you, nothing compared to the feeling of you falling asleep with your limbs all over his torso, with your head in the crook of his neck. Nothing compared to the connection he felt when he sank in you and you looked in each other’s eyes, and it felt like he could hear all of your thoughts, feel everything you were feeling, and he knew you did, too. In those moments, he thinks you both knew that what you had was far away from what it was always intended to be, and far away from how simple he thought it was when you first started it.
Because now there was someone else. Another woman, a woman that he’d have to bond with, have babies with, start a family with, a woman he had to love. A woman that wasn’t you. And while the thought of it made his skin crawl, so did the thought of disappointing his parents and his clan, who he would lead one day, by refusing, by not following through, by admitting he’s been engaging in these sort of relationships with a human, an alien. A demon. His mother could barely stomach you and Spider as her kids’ friends, Neteyam knew she’d have a heart attack is she were to hear about the activities you and her son got up to on a daily basis. 
Your chuckles ceased his train of thought, and he was glad. 
“You can put me down now, Teyam.” 
The gate to the big metal complex was so close to Neteyam he could feel the smell of metal inundating his nose and coating his tongue. He hated this smell, and he hated this place. You were the only good thing about it. 
“Sorry. Got lost in thoughts.” 
He heard the unmistakable sound of an oxygen mask being removed and his heart booming in his ears as panic took over him instantly, but he had no time to react to it as you turned his face towards you and placed your lips on his in a needy, desperate kiss that made him weak in the knees, that redirected his galloping heart from panic to desire, to ache… to love. Once you broke the kiss, Neteyam watched as you gasped for air and helped you tightened the mask over your face again, and then jumped from his back and onto the ground. 
“What was that for?” 
“Just saying thank you for a good day.” 
Just saying please don’t forget me once you reach her tent tonight. 
There was still a lot of commotion in the labs as you made your way through the corridors to reach your bedroom, and despite your body telling you it’s exhausted and needs sleep, you instead put on a lab coat and joined them, since you knew that going to bed meant unnecessary suffering and putting your mind through scenarios it didn’t need to think about just yet, not when they would all become reality soon and there was no point in living through it twice. You were surprised to find Spider in one of the cell culture labs, chatting animatedly with Norm. He smiled widely as he spotted you, and you tried your best to reciprocate and push aside all the ugly feelings plaguing you. 
“Hey, everyone.”
“Hi, gorgeous.” 
You knew Spider had a crush on you, and that he has had a crush on you for a while now. You weren’t sure if the crush was on your per se, or just on the only person who shared a similar age and species with him, but you didn’t have it in you to ever question him or turn him away. He was a good friend, and a good guy, and who knows? Maybe it was fate that you two were the only human children on Pandora, maybe it was fate that you were here together at the same time. Maybe despite your mind convulsing in pain just at the thought of him, thought of anyone else but Neteyam, he was who you would end up with, your only chance at lasting love, at a family. Maybe life was less about what you want, less about what makes you happy and more about the greater good, the greater purpose, the ability to make something out of nothing. Maybe. 
“What have you been up to today, kid?” 
“Not much, just training with Neteyam. Can’t you tell by my bulging muscles?” 
Norm removed his eyes from the microscope they were glued to, in order to eye you intently up and down. 
“All I can tell is that rash is not getting any better. You need to use the hydrocortisone cream I put in your room.” 
You prayed that neither men couldn’t see the blush that made your cheeks so hot from the inside out, you were struggling to keep your hands by your side and not fanning your face aggressively. 
“Will do, Norm. Need any help?” 
He thought about it for a while, then pointed to one of the incubators. 
“You can split the cells? I was going to ask Harry to do it, but since you’re here and want to help…” 
You smile at the chance to keep your mind occupied at least for a little while, at chance to not think about whatever it was that Neteyam was doing with another girl, with someone else that wasn’t you. 
The next few weeks passed in a blur, and so much has changed in your life, it was hard to keep track. The humans have officially returned to Pandora, and in their return, obliterated endless amounts of precious forest, of natural resources, of life that will never come back, that will always be mourned and missed. You were all forced to move camp, deep in the Hallelujah mountains, where the Flux Vortex was too powerful to allow for detection. It was painful and scary, and you felt numb as you had to say goodbye to the only home you’ve known for 19 years, to the forest and to the village. You couldn’t imagine how to villagers felt, how the Sullys felt… how Neteyam felt. There was only one thing that made this time bearable, and that was the fact that Neteyam’s mateship was postponed until things settled down. It was only temporary, and it meant very little in the grand scheme of things, but you were just happy you didn’t have yet another earth-shattering event clawing at your insides, ripping you to shreds. 
The relief didn’t last long, though, as Neteyam might not be sleeping with another girl, but he was also not sleeping with you anymore, either. The move and the new quarters meant a lot less privacy and a lot less space. You were fortunate enough to have your own room in the new labs, but the room was tiny and sharing a wall with Norm and Max. Neteyam was forced to move back into his parents’ tent, which meant the two of you never got a chance to be together at night anymore. He hasn’t come to visit you since the last time he took you back to Hell’s gate, and that was almost 2 weeks ago.
 
Today, you were hoping to change that. Today, you would ask him to take you to a different floating rock, or on an Ikran ride, or anywhere else but here, in this place that felt stifling and suffocating, this place that couldn’t, wouldn’t feel like home, no matter what. You missed him. You needed him. He had been the calm in all the chaos of your mind your whole life, and especially now, the spiralling felt particularly dizzying, the current particularly hard to navigate. 
As you were mindlessly pipetting some treatments of some cells, your mind wandered to the Sullys, all of whom were away today. The kids were in the forest, exploring woods that were no longer particularly safe to navigate. You knew they didn’t care, but still couldn’t help roll your eyes at the sheer irresponsibility. They asked you to come, but getting into any more trouble with Neytiri, or risking running into any humans didn’t particularly appeal to you. On the other hand, Neteyam and his parents were on a family hunt, a sweet tradition that has begun soon after Neteyam completed his Iknimaya and continued since, running of 6 years. 
Spending time with the Sullys was for sure one of your favourite ways to pass the time. The kids have always loved and welcomed you and Spider into their lives and their family, no matter how much Neytiri might have tried to influence them otherwise. Though Kiri found Spider her closest friend, you and her still loved hanging out together, loved being in each other’s companies, loved speaking for hours on end about everything and nothing. Kiri was drawn to humans, as Lo’ak was, and they took to your culture, your different ways of being, and thinking and existing, more so than any other Na’vi you knew. You assumed a lot of it had to do with their own differences to the clan, differences that while to you were insignificant, to them and to the Omatikaya, it meant the difference between a true Na’vi and a half-breed, an alien. Their slightly atypical appearance, which they shared with Jake, could be overlooked in him, as he was the Olo’eyktan, the Toruk Makto, the man that helped Eywa save their planet and their clan from certain death, but unfortunately for both his kids, that courtesy rarely extended to them.
Neteyam and Tuk looked all Na’vi, and could both pass as twins of their mother’s appearance at different stages of her life. Neteyam was the prince of the Omatikayan rule. He was tall and handsome, he was lean and muscular, and while his face was his mother’s, his body was definitely his father’s. Neteyam was a warrior. Through and through, he was forged in fire, with metal bones and razor-sharp teeth. He was forged to be unbreakable, to be the hope of the clan, the heir to the throne, the perfect son, the greatest soldier. Neteyam was one of the youngest Na’vi to go through his second birth after completing his Iknimaya and Uniltaron. He is the last man to get a bow made from the original Home Tree, that was burned to the ground almost 20 years ago. He was the epitome of the Omatikaya, and he wore all of these hats proudly, and he fought permanently to be worthy of them. Neteyam didn’t know what it was like to disappoint his parents, or his people. Unlike Lo’ak, he couldn’t afford to. Because of Lo’ak, he couldn’t afford to. He was willing to give anything… everything up in order to live up to the unrealistic expectations placed on him, because to him, that’s the only way to live. You admired him, admired his resolve and admired his will. You didn’t understand it, but you were human. You were selfish in nature, and you didn’t think that was a bad thing. You didn’t think being a little selfish sometimes was bad. In your mind,  you shouldn’t have to live only for others. You only had one life, a short life, and that life should be lived, and that life should be enjoyed. That was a cause of a great deal too many arguments between you and your best friend, and it is something you will never see eye to eye on. 
Norm’s aggressive entrance made you yelp out in surprise, and so did his face, contorted in pain and fear, so unlike the kind, calm and chipper one you’ve gotten to know throughout the years. 
“Get ready. Jake radioed me, the kids were attacked by the humans. They’re coming back now, so let’s make sure we have supplies prepared, so we can patch them up.” 
You felt a shudder overtake your body, and your hands, holding a pipette in one hand and a centrifuge tube in the other, felt limp and weak, felt like the weight was too much for your body to reasonably take. 
You got up from your chair almost robotically, feeling our mind blank as the information stewed and settled in it, until it reached a point it was the only thing ringing through your otherwise deafened ears. 
“Come on, honey.” 
“A-are…” you couldn’t even finish the sentence, couldn’t even bring your mouth to speak the words that were haunting your soul, that were constricting your heart.You were out of your mind with worry, so much worry, it was permeating through every cell of your being and bringing out toxins you didn’t even know resided in you, poisoning your blood and and making you pant, making you want to scream in anguish at the possibility of your honorary siblings, of him, being in any way hurt, in any way touched by any of the humans. 
“I think they’re alright. A little banged up, and probably terrified, but I think they’re ok. Jake didn’t say much, so let’s be prepared for everything. Get suture kits, and gauze, get numbing cream, the works.” 
You were grateful for Norm, now and always, for how he’s been more of a father figure to you than you could have ever anticipated or even hoped for. He’s loved and cared for you and Spider like you were his own, and you will never be able to repay him for all the attention and affection, but you strived to make him proud, strived to be a good student, a good scientist, a good person, a good daughter. That’s one of the reasons why you spent a lot of your time in Hell’s gate in the adjacent forest, and less time in the village. One of the reasons. 
As you got out of the labs and were hit by the warm thin air of the Omatikaya stronghold, you gasped as your eyes landed on Neteyam, who had deep cuts that leaked blood, like your eyes were leaking tears, both dropping carelessly, his on the ground, yours gathering at the bottom of your mask. His face cleared up as it spotted you in the crowd, and a quick look of easement panned across his features, and for a second, just a second, it felt like there was no one else in this world but you two, like this planet was an empty void kept alive and spinning by the magnitude of your love, by the gravity of the feelings pulling you towards each other, electrifying the air around you.
Your feet carried you forward with a mind of their own, and before you knew it, you were running, dropping the bag of supplies on the floor and pushing people out of the way - or at least trying to, not very successful when you were as strong as a literal toddler. The relief you felt overtook all your other thoughts, all your discernment of your circumstances and you surroundings, all the self-awareness of the situation and the knowledge you had to keep your feelings under wraps. It all went out the window as you jumped in Neteyam’s arms and circled your arms around his neck and your legs around his hips and although he winced in pain, he immediately tightened his grip and you and pulled you in closer. 
You moved until you came face to face with him, and you eyed him attentively to make sure he was alright, that he was really here and safe. 
“Are you -?” 
“I’m fine, ma Vol.” he smiled at you, and you could tell he was trying to tell you something by the way his eyes moved from yours to behind you. You were scared to follow his gaze, terrified to look behind you and see Neytiri glowering at you, and the confused, maybe scandalised faces of the rest of the Na’vi. So you didn’t. You got down and moved in line to all the rest of your surrogate siblings, doing a similar ritual, so as to not stand out from Neteyam’s. Lo’ak was happy to kneel and open his arms wide for you, and you appreciated this boy you loved so much more in this moment than you could ever tell him. He always knew what to do, he understood you well, just like you understood him. 
You finished with Spider, who looked a little more hurt than all the rest of them, and you knew it’s because, unlike them, his bones weren’t made with naturally occurring carbon fibre, so his body suffered a lot more every time something didn’t go to plan. It pained you to see him like this, hurting and bruised, and it hurt you more to see the anguish and fear haunting his eyes. You touched his arm and smiled softly as heat spread out where your hands traced his injuries, and when he looked at you, he shook his head, signalling for you to not question him any further, at least not for now. You nodded silently.
As the only two humans who were born on this foreign planet, you and Spider had a special bond. You had to, you had to stick together, because no one else really understood what either of you were going through except the other. He would always be the only one who understands the pain of being stuck in this body that was weak and feeble, that only one who understood the loneliness, the deep-seeded and monstrous loneliness that plagued you, the only one who understood what it was like to want something you can never have, like a chance to be one of the people, the chance to have a family, the chance at being accepted, the chance at being loved fully and without restraint, without pushback, without secrets. Spider has loved Kiri his whole life. You knew that. You also knew how hard he was fighting against it, how hard he was trying to convince himself he liked you instead, the only person on this planet that was made for him, whose body was compatible with his. Forbidden love is one of the many similarities you two shared. 
A small scream woke you up from your musings and you all snapped your head towards the sound that you now saw came from a woman, about your age, one that you knew very well, one that, despite every rational thought telling you otherwise, you hated with every fibre of your being. The woman. The dreaded woman that would one day be the mother of Neteyam’s children, the woman he’d wake up next to every day of his life, the woman he’d touch, and hold, and fuck. The woman he’d love. The woman that wasn’t you. 
“Oh, Great Mother! Oh, Eywa!” Her steps were wide and rushed, and in no time at all she made her way through the crowd and stopped just in front of Neteyam’s body, and carefully traced her long, slender fingers on his body. She looked panicked and forlorn, desperate to make sure her mate-to-be was unharmed. She gasped as her gaze landed on his many bleeding scratch wounds, and took him by the hand as she pulled on his arm, willing him to go with her.
“Yawne, come on. I will prepare healing salves for you in my tent. Let’s go.” 
You tried to swallow the bitterness that gathered in your mouth to no avail, as the lump that seemed like it had settled in your throat, never to leave you again, prevented it. You felt the familiar sting of tears gathering in your eyes and demanding to be released down your face, and knew you had to pull it together. This wasn’t the time. This wasn’t the time to think of how you’ve always been the one to heal Neteyam, it was always your hands trailing over his wounds, it was your hands that sutured his bleeding gashes, the one that made sure he wouldn’t ever scar, because the thought of anything marring his beautiful skin hurt you. 
“Uhm, we’re here, too, you know?” Lo’ak send a small snarky look in the girl’s direction, and Neytiri hissed at her son, threatening him to keep quiet. The girl didn’t acknowledge his words, opting to continue pulling Neteyam away forcefully. Lo’ak didn’t like her. You didn’t know why. Unlike you, he didn’t have an obvious reason. Maybe it’s how she acted like the rest of his family didn’t really exist, like they were somehow below her. Well, not the entire family. She liked Neytiri and Mo’at, and she liked Tuk. It was just Lo’ak and Kiri that she seemed to ignore. 
Your eyes remained fixed on Neteyam’s body, that was slowly getting farther away from you and closer to another woman’s tent, and you couldn’t help think how this was a fitting metaphor for your relationship and your future. He peered behind him and immediately found your face, and the look he gave you will haunt you forever. A look that told you that he loved you, that he was sorry, but he had no choice. A look that said “I wish things could be different, but they’re not”. A look that crushed your spirit and told you everything you never wanted to hear and nothing that could heal the pain currently poisoning your heart. 
Spider placed a hand on the small of your back, and with one last look at your best friend, the man you loved, you turned your back to him, to her, and to the love you felt in every cell in your body and focused on the people who needed you. You motioned for Spider and Lo’ak to follow you to the labs.
“Come. I’ll patch you up.” 
It was late at night when you finished everything you had planned on doing, and you dragged your feet tiredly to your room, eager to be alone, eager to be able to drop the facade you have had to maintain for the entire day and just release the anguish in your soul with a good crying session and some comfort show you have seen one too many times. You got into the shower and put the temperature as close to boiling as you possibly could, feeling the incessant need to burn a couple layers of skin, to remove the traces of Neteyam that will always be tattooed on you, the feeling of his lips on your body, that you could feel like he was here right now, the pressure of his hands as they tugged at your hips, as they wrapped around your throat, as they caressed your cheeks and pushed the hair out of your face. The tears that fell down your cheeks were removed as soon as they dropped, leaving only the memory of them, the images of what triggered them, of the anguished thoughts and deep pain that sank its teeth into you like a wild animal, tugging at and tearing apart everything they touched. 
As you got out of the shower, you heard the unmistakable sound of the door sliding open, and of something falling on the floor with a loud clank, and you knew exactly who it was. Your entire body was red and puffed from the shower, including your face, on which it was obvious that you have cried for the past 30 minutes. Fuck. 
With a loud sigh, that you hoped would lower your rapid heartbeat and shallow breaths, you opened the door and came face to face with Neteyam, who was knelt on the ground, trying to pick up what he dropped on the floor. 
“Sorry.” He says meekly. “I wish I could control my tail better, but it’s always an accident waiting to happen in these tight rooms.” 
You gave him a small smile that was not reflected in your eyes, and moved past him to sit on your bed. You fixed your eyes on the ground, noting how awkward and tense the atmosphere around you was. It’s never been like this. Ever. You and Neteyam have always been comfortable around each other. Always. No matter what ever happened in your lives or around you, no matter what depths your friendship reached, no matter how many boundaries you erased or walked past, it’s always felt natural. This didn’t. 
“Why are you here, Neteyam?” 
“What do you mean why I am here? I can’t be here?” 
You scoffed. 
“You can, you just never are anymore.” 
“Vol… come on. You know it’s different now than it was in the village, in Hell’s gate. We’re going to get caught.”
“Yeah, well, we wouldn’t want to get caught. God forbid anybody knows you fuck me in your free time.” 
“Vol…”
You knew you were being unfair. You knew it deep in your soul that he didn’t deserve any of this. You both agreed to this. You agreed to this a long time ago, and, if you were being honest with yourself, it was you that initiated it. 
•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•
The first time you and Neteyam had sex, you were both drunk. It was your 18th birthday party, and Norm and Max organised a bash that would have apparently made even Earth bashes seem tame. There was food and music and dancing, and yelling and laughter and a lot… a lot of drinks. 
So many drinks, in fact, that in the early hours in the morning, you and Neteyam stumbled back to your room, barely being able to make out the shape of the bed before crashing unceremoniously on it, giggling like a school girl when you did and the world refused to settle around you like you did in it. 
“You’re so drunk.” Neteyam said, hiccuping slightly.
“No, you’re drunk. I’m fine.” 
It was a nice change of pace, seeing Neteyam so free, so uninhibited, so… happy. His life was always busy, always messy, always difficult, having to parent 3 kids he didn’t bring into this world, picking up their slack, making sure they were safe and free, while he lived shackled to his family and his clan’s expectations, to the promise of being chieftain one day and all the sacrifices that came along with it. 
“At least I can sit up.”
“Well, you’re about twice larger than me, so you know…” you were wiggling your fingers in the air, trying to make a point, although the point got lost in the abyss, much like the rest of your mind.
“Yes?” 
“Fuck knows, lost my train of thought.” 
“Goddamn, ma Vol, you are really drunk.” 
He came and lay in your bed next to you and you immediately fastened your limbs around his torso, like he was the flame and your soul was the moth that couldn't stay away. 
“So what? It’s my birthday. I’m an adult now! If I can’t get drunk on my birthday, when can I?” 
“I guess that’s fair.”
“Do you ever think about having sex?” 
Whatever thoughts Neteyam might have had evaporated quicker than water droplets in a fire, and he found himself speechless, not a totally uncommon occurrence in your presence.
“Cause I do. I think about it all the time. I mean, we watch so many movies, and series, and all humans seem to do is have sex. I heard Norm getting it on with one of the Omatikaya chicks in the village for a while now, and, all I can think of is when the hell is it going to be my turn? My turn to know what it feels like, to get to see what the big deal is, you know?”
“I know you think about it. I know you think about it with me. I can feel it, I can feel you, whenever we fall asleep together. I know you want me, Teyam. I mean, we’ve come this far, right? Might as well go all the way.” 
“I hope you want me. Because I want you. You’re my best friend, you know everything about me. I want it to be you.”
Neteyam was doing everything in his power to ignore his increasingly harder-to-ignore erection and the way he was twitching at every word that came out of your mouth. Of course he wanted you. You were hot, and you were his. His best friend, the person he’s shared so many intimate moments with, the person that taught him everything he knew about girls, about pleasure, about so many things. But this might be a step too far, a step you could never take back. Neteyam always hoped that one day, by some miracle of the universe, you would get an Avatar, and you would get a chance to be one of the people. There’s nothing he wanted more in this world then to get to keep you forever. But, as the years went past, the possibility of that seemed less and less probable, and Neteyam knew he would have to find a mate one day, and he would have to love her and keep her, forever. He would sleep with her, and mate with her, and she would have his kids, and doing these things with you… he didn’t know how he was supposed to move on with his life like your presence didn’t permeate through every fibre of his being. 
“I do want you, Vol. But I don’t know if it’s such a good idea.” 
“It’s a great idea, Teyam. Think about it.” You chuckled to yourself, eyes shut tightly and fingers rubbing your temples, as if trying to summon the words into your brain.
“What was I saying?”
He laughed at your disorientated predisposition, realising he wasn’t in a much better condition. 
“I forgot.” You kicked your feet up in the air as you remembered. 
“Oh, yeah!! It’s a g-great idea. Because we’ve made out before, right? Multiple times. Because we’ve s-slept in the same bed before, so we know that works. Because we know each other, and we won’t tell anyone else, right? It can just be our little secret, and we have p-plenty of those anyway. Because, because… Because this way, whenever you'll get yourself a mate, you know that you will know what to do and won’t fumble around. I’m doing you a favour, if you think about it. It’s the perfect plan honestly. Foolproof.”
It was hard for Neteyam to argue with your logic, but that may be because the part of his brain that processed logic was dead now. 
The first time you and Neteyam had sex, it was awkward and painful. Turns out there is a lot more fumbling and a lot more preparation and a lot more pain involved than what it is ever portrayed on the screen, and even more so since the man you were sleeping with was twice your size, and those proportions extended to… well, everything. It took a lot of lube and a lot of patience, but you knew you would have wanted no one else to have this experience with. There was no one else in the world that could have made this what it was, something that you would cherish for the rest of your life. He was kind and considerate, and he brushed the tears from your face with his thumbs when the initial pain got too much to bear, and he waited for you to adjust to his impressive length, that felt like it would tear you apart at the seams at times, and he kissed your forehead and whispered about how well you were doing, and how good you felt, and how there was no one else he would rather be doing this with, no one else in the world, not for the rest of time.
The first time promptly led to the second time, and although it took time for you to learn each other’s bodies, in a couple months, the pleasure you felt when he touched you was indescribable, the thrill you got whenever you saw him become putty under your touch boldened you, empowered you, made you want to do this every day, all day, for as long as you lived. In time, you learnt that you liked when he praised you and he loved the sounds he could coax out of you - the louder you were, the harder he got. You both enjoyed being in control once in a while, him most of the time, you - on special occasions. The dance you partook in was intricate and complicated, it was heaven and hell, it was pleasure and pain, it was everything you shouldn’t have and everything you couldn’t keep yourself from. 
•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•
As you looked at the man sitting on the ground across from you, eyes so cried out and tired they were seeing red, you knew you had no right to spit such words in his face, but the hurt and heartache, the anger at the unfairness of it all, it was clouding your judgement, making you want to hurt him like his present and upcoming absence from your life was hurting you.
“I know you’re upset about today. I’m sorry.” He looked pained, and he refused to look at you. He looked… spent. Exhausted and sad. Way sadder than you imagined he would be, if this was just about today. Something wasn’t right.
“Why would I be upset about today? You did what you had to do. I mean, she’s going to be your mate soon, right? It’s her hands that should be healing you anyway, not mine.” You eyed the wounds on his body that were now clean, but still red, and still mostly open. “Those are going to scar, by the way.” 
He stood up suddenly. A step is all it took to reach you and his hand on your chest shot bouts of electricity all throughout your body, that you struggled to ignore. It took very little effort for him to push you back onto the bed until the warmth and softness of your blanket touched the skin that wasn’t wrapped in a towel. He followed suit, his body hovering on top of yours, and you felt his braids tickling your face and neck as his eyes bore intensely into yours. 
“Stop. I know you are upset. I wish it could have been you. You know me, Vol. You know I wish it could have been you.” 
You shook your head slightly, dreading how the tears were falling down the sides of your face and nestling in your ears. You didn’t know. Not anymore. 
“You should go, Neteyam. This isn’t right. You’re engaged to someone else. I watched her today, watched how worried she was about you, how desperate to help you, to take you away so it’s just the two of you. You’re going to mate with this girl any day now. There’s no room for me in your life anymore. Not like this, anyway.”
•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•
The first time you and Neteyam made love came after you were both spent from taking orgasm after orgasm out of each other. You were laying on his chest, tracing each twinkling freckle on it with your index finger, making patterns, making galaxies out of the stars proudly adorning his skin, the most beautiful stars to ever exist, to you. 
Almost as if thinking out loud, you spoke quietly, barely above a whisper.
“You are so beautiful. It hurts me sometimes, the gaping differences between us. How dull and boring I am compared to you. How daft my skin, compared to your shiny, glowy one. How sullen my eyes look when I see them in the reflection of your bright ones, sparkling like the sun. I would give anything to look like you. Anything to be like you.” Sighing, dropping hot wet tears on his chest, you continued. “Everything would be so much easier if I looked like you.” 
Almost uncharacteristically, Neteyam’s hand cupped your cheek gently and tugged slightly until your eyes met.
“Stop. Please. You are the most beautiful person I have ever laid my eyes on. You always have been. Your eyes are like the planets my satellites orbit around. I see them everywhere I go, every moment of my day, every dream I dream at night, there’s nothing else besides your eyes, besides your face, and your lips. Besides the words that come out of them, that somehow guide my every thought, focus my world and let me go on. You are more than beautiful, more than any word invented in any language that we speak. You are everything, ok? Everything.” 
That did nothing to stop your tears, that fell even harder down your cheeks, forming a puddle on his chest. 
“You can’t say these things, Neteyam.”
“Why not?” 
“You know why not.”
“You can’t make me fall in love with you. And you can’t fall in love with me. What we’re doing is already complicated. Already beyond what either of us could explain to anyone we love. And that’s ok, because what we have works. But it won’t work if the feelings run deeper than what depth we’re comfortable swimming in. You’re going to leave me one day, and if you leave me and I’m in love with you, it will break me. So you can’t say things like that to me.”
He had a playful smile on his face, but his eyes were forceful and full of intensity as he got on top of you and looked down into yours. 
“I’m not going to fall in love with you, and you’re not going to fall in love with me. We got this, Vol. But I will never leave you. I could never leave you. You’re my best friend. You’re everything to me.” 
You let out a soft sob that was silenced by his lips pressing on yours and the sound was replaced by pleasured moans and whimpered sounds, of silent confessions that marked the end of comfort and the beginning of the end. 
•☽────✧˖°˖☆˖°˖✧────☾•
Back when we were still changing for the better
Wanting was enough, for me, it was enough to live for the hope of it all
Cancel plans just in case you'd call and say, "Meet me behind the mall"
He sighed as he got off from on top of you, his own tears falling on your face as he did so. He didn’t look at you as he spoke. 
“The engagement is broken.” 
The relief that flooded your mind didn’t have time to wash over you before he continued.
“Because I’m leaving. I’m leaving the Omatikaya, and so is my family.” 
You and Neteyam shared many firsts. Your first heartbreak, the one that would break your spirit and your soul and your bones and ground them into a fine dust to be blown away by the wind, would just be one of many others. 
So much for summer love and saying "us"
'Cause you weren't mine to lose
Taglist: @liluvtojineteyam @pinkpantheris @netemoon @fanboyluvr
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wwilsonbarness · 7 months
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pairings:  bucky barnes x reader
summary: after one date with Bucky Barnes your life takes a turn for the worst.
warnings: awkward first date (kinda), violence, angst, fluff, sexual assault (warning just in case), kidnapping, sad bucky, sad reader, sadness lol (let me know if i forgot anything pleasee)
word count: 4170
a/n: enjoy :)
Feedback, likes and reblogs are much appreciated :) 
I do not give permission for my work to be copied, reposted or translated on any other platform.
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Your pinky finger was slowly inching towards his as he walked you up the steps to your door. It had been the perfect evening, starting off with a dinner at one of the fanciest restaurants in the city, then a couple games of mini golf followed by cheeseburgers because both of you agreed the portions at “WOZ” were nowhere near enough. You’d met Bucky through one of your friends, and if you were being honest the idea of dating an Avenger was very intimidating but she insisted you would be ‘perfect together’. 
“Thank you for tonight Bucky, I had a really good time.” You’d grown more confident as the night went on but now that the date was ending you were back to your shy self. You didn’t want the night to end and even though you’d only met Bucky a few hours ago you had felt an instant connection. It really felt like how the movies made first dates look. 
“I had a good time too, would..” He stops himself and you can tell he’s feeling nervous, so you smile up at him, silently asking him to continue. You see his shoulders loosen once he sees your smile, “..would you maybe wanna do this aga-..?” 
“Yes.” You answer before he can even finish his sentence. 
“You do?” 
“I do.” You were internally beating yourself up for being so awkward but you couldn’t help but jump at the chance at seeing Bucky again. What you didn’t know that was Bucky was doing the same thing, Steve had always described him as being smooth with the ladies but right now it was like all his flirting skills had completely disappeared. 
“I erm, I better get going, but I’ll call you!” 
“I’ll be waiting!” You cringed at yourself, why did you have to be so awkward? 
“See you doll.” Bucky flashes you a smile - which has become one of your favourite sights in the very short time you’ve known him - before he starts to walk down the steps. You wave to him as he walks away and wait until you can no longer see him before you close your door. 
You drop your bag on the counter, untie your shoes and start to unzip your dress as you walk to your bedroom before a knock at your door stops you. You don’t think twice before going over and opening the knock, the only logical person it could be was Bucky. Right? 
“Back alrea- Oh. Hi?” It wasn’t Bucky, it was a man with short black hair and tattoos and a black hood covering most of his face. “Can I help you?”
“You Y/N Y/L/N?” The man grunts at you in return.
“I am.. Who are you?” As soon as you answer him you regret it, it goes against every piece of advice you’d been given about being safe as a woman in the city. 
“You don’t need to know who I am sweetheart.” Your heartbeat was beginning to speed up now, panic setting in fast. You try to close your door as quickly as you can but his foot stops you. 
He begins to shake his head, “Uh uh, I don’t think so.” he pushes forward and you fall backwards landing on the floor. 
Your eyes were beginning to well up and you were frozen in fear, this was it wasn’t it? You’re gonna die right here. 
“Stop being such a baby jesus fucking christ.” He paced around your apartment a little, his jacket moving slightly which makes the gun he has in the back of his jeans become visible.
“P-Please, you can take anything you want. Just please don’t hurt me” You pleaded to him, hoping somehow there was a tiny part of him that would listen. 
“I’m not gonna hurt you.” You sighed deeply thinking there was a chance you’d get out of this alive, but if he wasn’t going to hurt you what was he planning to do?
“What do..what do you want from me?” 
“I’m just here to take ya to the big man.” 
You didn’t think you could feel any more scared than you already did, but the mention of “the big man” terrified you. Why were they targeting you? 
“Do me a favour, would ya sweetheart? Stop talking.” He smirked down at you which only made you feel worse, it looked like he was enjoying this. 
You were too scared to say anything else, and he was focusing on his phone instead of you. Part of you was tempted to try and escape but you were still frozen in fear, you had no defence skills and probably wouldn’t get very far and you really didn’t wanna piss this guy off anymore. 
Around 10 minutes pass of you sitting on the floor, wracking your brain to find any reason as to why someone would want to kidnap you. You weren't anything special, and you hadn’t even lived in New York for that long. 
“Get up. He’s ready for ya.” You get to your feet shakily and wait for him to tell you what to do next. 
“Go on then.” He shoves you towards the door, and follows behind you. As you near the door you feel something hard against your back. “Make any noise and I’ll use it.” Shit. You didn’t say anything back, just nodding to show you understood.
After you get into his car he drives for what feels like hours to an underground garage, you tried to memorise the route you went but it was hopeless. You’d never been to this side of the city before. A few minutes walk later and you’re standing outside an office, you assume this is the guy who sent someone to hunt you down. 
The door opens and you get pushed in, stumbling a little before you find your balance. There are two men waiting in there, who look you up and down before smirking. 
“Soldier chooses them well.” The taller one says to his shorter friend. 
“Sure does. Shame he’ll never see her again.” 
Soldier? Are they talking about Bucky? 
“What do you want from me?” You tried to keep your voice calm but you could tell it came out laced with fear. 
“You’ll find out soon enough.” The shorter man walks towards you and trials his finger over the edge of your dress. “All you need to worry about is standing here and looking pretty, sweetheart.” 
—----- 
On the other side of the city the soldier in question was sitting discussing ‘the best night of his life’ with Sam, who was silently judging how his friend was acting. 
“And everytime she told me a joke she'd wait a couple seconds before laughing to make sure I found it funny first. And when she laughs her nose scrunches up, it’s so adorable. And everytime i told her she looked nice she’d do this thing where she bites her lip and she can’t look me in the eye. It’s ad-“
“Adorable. I get it, Buck.”
Bucky blushes as he realises how long he’d been speaking about you, but he can’t help it. He’s never met someone like you before and he can’t stop thinking about you since he left your doorstep. 
“How long is an acceptable time before I call her?” Bucky knows Sam is probably sick of hearing about you but he’s Bucky’s favourite (and only) person he feels safe enough to talk to, not that he’d ever tell Sam that. 
Sam looks at the imaginary watch on his wrist before answering. “Not 3 hours Buck.” A frown appears on Bucky’s face to which Sam snickers at. “I thought you were a ladies man.” 
“I was. Things are different now.” Bucky tries to force a smile out but he can’t. His voice grows a lot quieter as he continues. “Do you think she doesn’t want me to call?” 
“Hey, I didn’t say that! The way you’ve described the night, it sounds like she feels the same as you.” 
“Hm. Maybe.” 
“Buck I’m serious, I was just joking before. I’m sure she’s waiting for your call.” 
“So tomorrow?” Bucky asks with his smirk growing again. 
Sam laughs, “Yeah, tomorrow.”
Safe to say Bucky does not wait until tomorrow, actually he doesn’t even make it another hour before texting you.” 
Hey, it’s Bucky! Sorry if this is too soon but I had a really good time tonight. We need a rematch soon! 
He spent a further 2 hours staring at the screen, with every minute that passed that the message was left on ‘delivered’ he picked apart his message more. He finally locks his phone and heads to his room for the night. But not without a lecture from Sam first. “You called her didn’t you?” 
“No!” Bucky rushes to defend himself. “But hypothetically if someone was to text their date 4 hours after the date. How would that look?”
“Bucky! I thought you were waiting until tomorrow.” 
“I tried.” 
“Has she responded?” 
Bucky shakes his head. “Is this what ghosting is? Oh god. Am I being ghosted?” 
“Please for the love of god stop letting Peter teach you modern slang. You’re not being ghosted, it’s late she’s probably just sleeping. Bucky looks at the clock behind Sam and sighs in relief. 
“You’re right. Okay, I’m gonna sleep too.” It was nearing 3am, no wonder you haven't replied to him he thought to himself.
Bucky gets around 4 hours of sleep before he gets woken up by his phone ringing. He answers it without looking at who it is. “You’ve got 3 hours to give me back my brother, or else your girl gets a bullet through her pretty little face.” 
That wakes Bucky up faster than he ever has before. “What the fuck are you talking about?” 
“You heard me, Soldier. Clock’s ticking.” The call ends. 
Bucky freezes for a second trying to gain a little bit of understanding of what the fuck just happened. He pulls on the first piece of clothing he can find and runs towards the common room, hoping to find someone who can help him. Luckily the whole team is there, which is strange, normally the only time that happens is when there’s a mission going on. 
Before Bucky can even begin to explain what’s happening, Fury pipes up. “Barnes, what do you know about a Y/N Y/L/N?”
“Fuck!” This means he wasn’t imagining that phone call. We had one date, literally just last night. What the fuck is going on?” 
Half of the team moves so Bucky can see the big screen, and on it there’s a blown up picture of you, tied to a seat. Your dress is ripped, there’s blood dripping down the side of your face and your eyes are red, as if you’d been crying non stop for hours. Bucky walks slowly towards the screen and stops for a second to take in the picture, and almost instantly his brain switches to fighter mode. 
“What do we know?” 
“Bucky, maybe you should sit this one out.” Sam tries to reason with him, but Bucky doesn’t listen. 
“What the fuck do we know?”
Fury begins to tell Bucky all the information they have. “It seems your girlfriend wa-“
“She’s not my girlfriend.” Bucky wishes that statement wasn’t true, he wishes he could say you were his girl, but after this he was 100% sure that would never be the case.
“Okay.” Nick continues, wary of pissing Bucky off any more. “It seems Ms Y/L/N was taken from her home at around 11.30 last night. Her neighbours report seeing a black Audi sitting outside her apartment before she got home and say it left 30 minutes after you dropped her off. There’s no cameras in the area, her phone was left in her apartment so there is no way of tracking her. And just 30 minutes ago this picture was sent to my email. Along with a threat to her life if Zemo is not released from the raft in 3 hours.” 
Bucky tries to process all the information, you were taken just 30 minutes after he left? Guilt. Zemo has a brother? Anger. They were threatening to kill you? Fear. 
“I got a phone call a few minutes ago, said the same thing. Any leads on who this bastard is?” 
“None. No one is aware of Zemo having a brother.” 
Bucky nods along, “What’s the plan?”  
“You said you got a call? We’ll get tech to try and track it..” Nat suggests, knowing it most likely won’t work but it’s their best bet right now. “..and when they call again at least we’ll be ready to track it.”
“You think they’re gonna be dumb enough to leave a trace?” Bucky snapped at Nat. 
“It’s all we’ve got, Bucky. Look, we know you had some sort of relationship with this girl but you need to stay calm.” 
“I’m trying.” Bucky’s voice breaks a little, showing everyone how he is really feeling.
A couple minutes pass of everyone thinking the same thing but being too afraid to say it, until Fury finally breaks the silence. “There’s no way we can let Zemo out.” 
Bucky knows there’s no logical reason for them to listen to your kidnappers demands, he knows majority of the time they never stick to them, but the thought of you getting hurt anymore was too much to handle. 
“You’re just gonna let her die?” He shouts across the table. 
“Barnes I suggest you calm down or I’ll remove your clearance for this mission.” Bucky nods, knowing the best thing he can do right now is keep as calm as possible, panic will only make things worse. “As I was saying, I’m not willing to release Zemo from the raft, but we can make this brother of his think we are. When he next contacts us, we’ll let him believe we’re following what he is asking of us. Everyone got it?” 
The room fills with a mix of mumbles, mostly consisting of ‘yes sirs’ and ‘got it’s’. Bucky stays silent. He’d finally found a girl he liked and she ends up in this situation, the guilt he was feeling was worse than anything he’d ever felt before, including the years of physical and mental trauma he’s been through. 
Sam’s soft voice breaks him out of his thoughts, “Buck? You okay?” For the first time since he learned of your danger Bucky’s face softens, and his eyes begin to grow wet. 
“I don’t wanna lose her Sam.” Sam might not understand how Bucky feels this strongly about you in such a short amount of time but one thing he understands is that you are important to Bucky and that means you are important to him.
“We’ll get her back. Come on. Let’s suit up so we’re ready.”
—--
You made the mistake of asking for some water which resulted in you being slapped across the face with the back of a gun and tied up on a rickety old chair .You hadn’t spoken since. You’d accepted that it was just a matter of time before they killed you and part of you just wanted them to get it over with. No matter how hard you tried you couldn't stop the tears falling down your cheeks and these men did not like that at all.
“Tell me again why we’re keeping her alive? Her crying is starting to get real boring.” One guy asks the other. 
“Just shut her up will ya? I need to call them again” You try so hard to stop yourself from whimpering but the pain from the rope around your hands and the ache in your head hurts so bad and a couple of seconds later a rag is being stuffed in your mouth. 
“Darling.. You get what this means?” He lifts his gun up and trails it along the side of your face. “Shut. The. Fuck. Up.” You hold your breath, terrified that even a slight movement will make things worse. “Good girl.” His smile, it’s something you don’t think you’ll ever forget if you make it out of here alive. 
The other man dials a number and puts it on speaker. “You got my brother yet?” 
“He’s on his way to us. First we need some proof that Y/N is still alive.” 
The man walks over to you slowly and takes the rag slightly out your mouth. “Tell them sweetheart.” You couldn't answer even if you wanted to, the fear being too much. He whips his gun against your head again making you cry out again. “Don’t make me ask again.” 
“I.. I’m alive.” You had no idea who you were talking to, it was a voice you didn’t recognise but one you’d never forget, maybe, just maybe they’d be the one who saved you.
—---
“I.. I’m alive.” Bucky nearly breaks down right there at the sound of your voice, Sam's hand lands on his shoulder and squeezes gently. 
“Why are you doing this?” Fury asks, he doesn’t really care why, he knows people like these guys have no moral compass but he’s trying to make the call last as long as he can so they can track it. 
“You took my brother away from me, I’m only getting him back.”
“At the cost of an innocent life?” 
“You mean her?” He scoffs. “Can’t be that innocent if she's dating the winter soldier.” Sam can feel Bucky’s shoulders tense under his touch at the mention of his past life. “Stop wasting my time, just get my brother back to me. I’ll send you an address in 1 hour. Be there or the girl dies.” The call ends before Fury can reply.
“We got them!” An agent Bucky doesn’t know shouts up from the back of the room. “Sir, we’ve got them.” 
Bucky immediately makes his way over to where the agent is sitting and tries to read the computer but has no luck, it’s all in code. “Where is she?” 
“Water Crescent Garage, on the other side of the city.” She replies, as she continues typing. “The jet will get you there in 15 minutes.”
“Let’s go.” Bucky’s out of the room before anyone can respond, running through the halls and reaching the jet before anyone else.
“Barnes, I’ll remind you. Stay calm or you’re off.”
“I know. I’m calm” He was most certainly calm. “Can we please just go?” His voice is dripping in desperation, he just wants you safe.
—-------
“Looks like Soldier wants you back, hmm?” The taller guy asks you, knowing you can’t answer him. “Maybe I’ll see what he’s getting every night huh?” He begins to run his fingers over your bare shoulder, nearing your neck and beginning to squeeze slightly. You try to move away but the rope keeps you in place. “This what he likes doing to you? He likes having control? He likes to own you?” He brings his other hand towards the zip on the side of your dress before an alarm stops him. He looks around to the other guy in the room. “Stay with her. I’ll go.”
The other guy grunts in response. Once the taller guy has left he walks towards you, gun in his hand. “You better hope your boyfriend isn’t trying something sweetheart. It won’t end well.” You don’t understand why these guys think you and Bucky were so serious, you’d only had one date. 
You start to hear gunshots in the distance, getting closer and closer to you every second. You were praying the good guys were winning and that they were here to save you. 
A few minutes pass when the door to your room bursts open and none other than Captain America himself walks in. It takes him less than 15 seconds to disarm and knock out the guy who was left with you, although it feels like longer for you. “Buck, I’ve got her.” He walks over to you and removes the cloth in your mouth. 
Bucky was here. “Bucky?” 
“Hey Y/N, I’m here to help okay?” He begins to untie the rope around your hands, careful to not hurt you. “Bucky’s on his way. It’s over.” 
As Sam was untying your feet Bucky runs into the room and rushes over to you. His heart breaks when he sees you upclose. Your cheeks that were so rosy just last night were now white as a ghost, your lips once red were now blue and bruised, the sparkle he had just seen hours ago in your eyes was now replaced with fear.
You stand up with the help of Sam and look towards Bucky. 
“Are you okay? Where does it hurt? Sam, call the doc, let her know we’re coming.” Bucky's eyes are moving around your body, scouting out every injury he can find and taking note of it.
The only thing you can bring yourself to say is thank you, your lip wobbles as you say it and your voice is shaky with each word but Bucky understands. “Tha.. Thank you for saving me.” 
He slowly reaches out to hold you against him, giving you enough time to tell him to stop if you want to. He wraps his arm around you, carefully avoiding anywhere that looks injured. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why they came after you. I promise as soon as I found out what was happening I started looking for you. I’m so sorry.” 
You shake your head, he doesn't owe you an apology, none of this was his fault. The motion only makes you feel nauseous, and you feel as if you might throw up if you move anymore. “I can’t. I can’t.. I feel sick.” Bucky stops as soon as you ask. 
“Can I carry you?”
“Please.” You were embarrassed to be feeling this weak but he didn’t seem bothered by it. He just seemed sad. 
—---
After you get seen by the avenger’s doctor and prescribed some pretty strong painkillers you finally arrive home. Bucky tried to get you to stay in for longer, he was worried you would be feeling worse once the shock had worn off but you insisted on coming home. You needed to be in your own space. 
“I’ll make you some food, you wanna get changed out of those?” You weren’t really hungry but you couldn't bring yourself to say no. You did want to badly get changed out of the clothes Natasha had lent you, they were very tight. 
“Thank you.” 
Bucky wanted to tell you to stop thanking him, you should be angry at him and it was killing him that you were treating him with so much kindness after everything you’d been through at his fault.
Bucky makes you a sandwich, knowing you probably wouldn't be too hungry. “It’s just to get some food in you. Some water too.” He said as he handed you a plate and glass of water. 
The next words that left Bucky’s mouth were ones he’d never wanted to say but it didn’t feel right staying with you after what he’d put you through. “Do you need anything else before I go?” 
You nearly choke as you swallow that bite. He gets down to his knee and looks up at you. “You okay?” You immediately start crying, not even trying to hide it. “Hey, what's wrong?” You hadn’t been apart from Bucky since he found you, and now that he was leaving you felt so scared again.
“I don’t wanna be alone.” His heart breaks again at how soft your voice comes out, almost as if you were afraid to speak.
He wants nothing more than to stay with you, keep you safe but he feels that with every second he spends with you the more you'll be at risk. 
“Is there anyone I can call to stay with you?” 
“Could you?” You almost whisper to him. 
“What was that?” He asks softly. 
“Could you stay?” 
“You really want me to?” 
“I do.” 
He almost, almost says yes before he remembers how you looked when he found you in that room. He stands up and backs away a little. “I don’t think I should.” 
You try to stand up and walk towards him but get a bit dizzy as you do, grabbing onto his arm for balance. “Why not?” 
“Doll, sit down.” He guides you gently back onto the couch. “It’s my fault you got hurt.”
“No Bucky, that’s not true. I really like you Bucky, and whilst this may not have been the second date we had in mind, I don’t want to lose you. Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t feel the same.”
“I never said I didn't feel the same way, I just.. I just can't put you in any more danger.”
“The way I see it, you saved me from danger. And I know now that you’ll always be there to save me. Please stay?” He nods. 
“You’ll stay?”
“I’ll stay.”
543 notes · View notes
misc-obeyme · 1 year
Text
MC Looking Fabulous
This was another request from @oakley-tree1 for an MC who normally wears casual clothes showing up to a party looking fabulous. Since I usually do GN!MC, their outfit isn't described at all, just the brothers' reactions to it. I enjoyed writing this! Thank you for the request!
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GN!MC
Warnings: None.
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Lucifer
Can’t keep his eyes off of you. He wears a suit all the time, aside from the RAD uniform, so it’s pretty obvious that he appreciates fancy clothes. While he has no issue with your casual outfits, this one has caught his eye in a way the others did not.
Doesn't come to your side right away. Instead, he will watch you as you move about the room. You can feel his gaze, but it isn’t unpleasant. It makes you feel a little tingly.
Will only be able to stand it for so long, watching you chat with other people. His pride forces him to appear at your side. And he knows how stunning the two of look standing together. Comments on parts of your outfit, especially if you've worn something he gave you as a gift.
Doesn't really ask you to dance, just sort of leads you out to the dance floor. You don't resist, letting him guide you through the steps. He pulls you close to him. You've really caught his attention tonight, MC. Don't think he'll be letting you go any time soon.
Mammon
Loses his mind. Manages to control it to some extent, but it’s gonna be hard for him. Especially if you’ve done something obvious like dressing in gold or wearing something he got for you.
Mammon is fashion conscious so he truly appreciates the outfit you’ve put together. Knows every brand and every piece of what you’re wearing by sight.
But he’ll only kind of babble about that stuff because what he’s really interested in is you. He’s constantly touching you all night, putting his hand on your back or shoulder, standing close enough that your bodies are just barely pressed together. Won't let you spend too much time talking to anyone else.
Wants to dance with you so bad. When he's got you close to his chest, he'll be honest. Don’t get him wrong, MC! The Great Mammon loves how ya look tonight, but know that he loves ya no matter what you’re wearin!
Leviathan
Oops. You broke him. His brain has shut off. You might get it to restart again if you talk to him. Distract him by saying something wrong about TSL on purpose so he’ll snap out of it to correct you.
While Levi’s clothing knowledge mostly involves cosplay, he still knows quite a bit and he’s impressed with your look. Considering how you normally dress, this was completely unexpected.
M-MC, would you consider being a cosplay model for him later? Your outfit has given him a ton of ideas for characters you could dress as. He wants to take all the pictures of you.
You might have to bully him into dancing with you. Isn't that a thing that normies do?! But he'll give in, of course. Spends most of the time in disbelief that he has someone like you dancing with him.
Satan
At first, it's hard to tell what his reaction is. Keeps his cool, unlike all of his brothers. Doesn't freak out, doesn't get weird. But when you come up to him, he tells you directly how good you look and he says it in such a poetic way, you find you're the one swooning.
Since you've likely worn a lot of things you received as gifts, he notices every detail. Remembers who gave you what and for what reason. Of course he's touched if you wear something he gave to you.
Although he is calm on the surface, his heart is pounding. He can't stop himself from saying things he probably wouldn't say normally. Like how brightly your eyes are shining. The way you look like you stepped out of a painting. Please, won't you dance with him, MC?
Of course you can't resist such a beautifully worded request. You can feel everyone watching the two of you. He knows you look spectacular together, out there on the dance floor. But he's focused on you, guiding you through the steps, keeping you close.
Asmodeus
Swoons. Absolutely loses his balance, has to be held up by whoever is closest. Once he's regained his senses, he rushes to your side, gushing about how you look. The colors! The lines! The attention to detail! Your face! Your hair! Oh he's fallen in love with you all over again.
He recognizes every piece of clothing that he gifted you. Tells you he's so impressed with the way you've combined his gifts into the most beautiful ensemble he's ever seen! Even though you normally wear such casual clothes, he knew you could pull off a glamorous look!
Of course you look amazing standing beside him. Takes a million selfies. Gets someone else to take a ton of pictures of the two of you from afar.
After all the commotion, though, Asmo is going to insist you dance with him. He's stronger than he looks and he guides you effortlessly across the dance floor. Something changes slightly in his gaze as you move. Be careful, MC. You're looking so delicious tonight.
Beelzebub
Hang on. Is that… MC? You look so different than you normally do. He's so surprised, he stops eating. He had been by the buffet table of course but now he's quickly moving to your side.
He doesn't know how to articulate how good you look. He really likes your casual clothes, but it's nice to see you in something so drastically different. And for some reason, he's not even thinking about food right now. He tells you all this with a soft blush.
He's more than ready to dance with you. You make quite the pair, wowing everybody present as you do some fancy moves. Beel lifting you and twirling you and never once losing his grip on you. You feel safe in his arms as you move around the dance floor.
Carries you back to the buffet table where he wants you to try all of the tasty things laid out for the party. You happily join him as you've now worked up an appetite from all that dancing. He's so happy to watch you eat, he almost forgets to eat himself. Almost.
Belphegor
Shocked. Quietly shocked, but shocked nonetheless. He had no idea that you, who always wears such casual comfy clothes, could put together an outfit that looked so fabulous.
Acts like he's uninterested, but actually ends up beside you pretty quickly for such a lazy demon. He doesn't need to say anything, you can tell from the way he's trying to contain himself that he's having feelings. When he does say something, it's to comment on how he's amazed you could clean up so well.
Although he's not normally the type to want to dance, he asks you. He can't resist wanting to hold you close when you're looking like this. Although his stamina isn't great, Belphie is actually a good dancer. He gracefully guides you through the moves, surprising everyone present with how stunning the two of you look.
Sneaks you away to an outside balcony where he can sit with you beneath the Devildom stars. You are the brightest star tonight, MC. You outshine everyone here.
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masterlist | part 2 with the side characters | Thank you for reading!
836 notes · View notes
moonrisecoeur · 5 months
Note
Okay literally love ALL OF YOUR WRITINGS OF LEON. Hes so cute and i think you describe him so very well. I kinda wanna request something of him having a mommy kink yk? Cause like he seems like the type to say mama during it yk? BUT YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT!! I wanna let you have freedom.
awhhh thank you!! i appreciate u !! this is kinda short srry!!
-
vanilla is not boring, especially with leon. it’s easy, gentle, natural. you’re soft with each other, holding onto the other’s body and never letting them go, wet kisses lining each others necks and chests and thighs as you make love.
you haven’t been dating the blonde long enough to indulge in both of your fantasies and kinks, but you could probably make the guess that leon leaned a little bit more submissive. it’s not that he didn’t have it in him to take control, because you know he could, that despite his shy demeanor he was a caretaker and protector at heart. he wanted to care for you and give you everything.
but every time you’d kiss his neck, it’s like his mind would shut off just a little bit. you’d ask him something and he’s never felt so dumb in his life, trying to piece together the sounds coming out of your mouth and make them into words. he’s rarely successful. he ends up unable to give you a proper answer or response and just laughs nervously, which turns into a weak moan when you kiss him again at the same spot.
he’s easy. not a complicated lover in the slightest. figuring him out is not a complex puzzle. he’s vocal, so you always know what he likes and what’s not really doing it for him. which isn’t much, because he likes mostly anything you do with him.
“i want to ask you something,” he says one day, and it piques your interest, so you listen intently, “i have a request… for something we could add into the bedroom.”
“okay, sure, what is it?” you ask. you’ll try to be open minded if it’s something weird, but leon’s shy, so he’s probably going to ask for something simple, like a different position or something.
he takes a deep breath and braces himself, clearly nervous, “i want to call you… mommy. if you would be okay with that.”
silence, for just a moment. his dignity is bruised more and more as you process what he’s saying. he doesn’t mean to take your silence as rejection but that’s what it is without the context of your internal monologue.
you imagine it, for a brief moment, thinking of the things he’d say. yes, mommy, whatever you say. i’m yours. i’m your… good boy, i’m mommy’s good boy. it’s no less than tantalizing to think about.
“uhhh.. hey, could you at least say… something?”
“shit, i’m sorry, it’s just-” you stutter, and he looks at you expectantly.
please, mommy. i’m… really sensitive. please be gentle…
god the image of him begging, not even for anything in particular, is excruciating in the best way possible. it’s painful that he’s not already begging for you.
“i would… i would really like it if you did that. if you called me mommy,” you tell him, and he has half the mind to not believe you considering your weird silence, “i’m sorry, i’ve handled this interaction incredibly wrong, it’s just- i keep thinking about you saying it and it keep making my mind go blank.”
“it… it does?”
“yes,” you groan, coming closer to him, hands on his waist as he naturally wraps his arms around you, “i can’t think when i imagine you saying it, like, in context.”
“can i.. can i say it now?” he asks, and you don’t know why he’s bothering to ask for permission, “please?”
you nod. a moment passes as he gathers himself.
he looks at you with reverent eyes, half-lidded with a pleasure he knows will come but hasn’t hit yet, “mommy,” he whispers, his voice light and fragile, “please, mommy. i need you.”
"need me? yeah? show me, show me how badly you need me, baby," you press your fingers into his skin as you caress him, digging into his pliant muscles, his body contorting to your will, "show mommy how badly you need her, and maybe she'll take pity on you."
leon cries out, holding onto you for dear life as you bury his cock even deeper inside of you, it feels like you’re planning to ride him until he passes out, “fuck, fuck, fuck- mommy- please!”
“please what, baby?” you ask, smiling softly, but you sound so condescending. leon doesn’t know what to think, if he can even do so. every time a coherent thought comes to his head, it dissipates into the pleasure encircling him. he feels drunk. he’s close to crying and he’s not sure exactly what he’s begging for.
“can… can i cum, mommy?” he whimpers, his voice low and nervous, like he’s still scared you wouldn’t like this part of him, this side of him he hides behind his tough and composed facade.
"hmm.. do you think you deserve to?"
a double edged sword. there's no good options here, "mommy, please... i'm your good boy, aren't i? please..."
you brush a piece of hair out of his face, running your fingers through his hair, and tugging on the hairs at the base of his neck, “awh, sweetheart, you can’t hold it in? c’mon, try to hold back for mommy, it’ll feel so much better if you wait for it. mommy knows best.”
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initforthelolzz · 11 months
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No one does queer representation quite like One Piece.
Allow me to explain in great detail.
I’m going to talk about the queer rep in Impel Down, and you’d best buckle up cause it’s rant time.
Impel Down is one of my favorite arcs because I love the story line, it’s downright hilarious, and Luffy’s struggle to rescue Ace is incredibly compelling.
But there is another reason why I love Impel Down so much, and that’s the queer rep that utterly knocked me off my feet.
Now, I’ve come to accept that queer representation in anime (not touching on any other media in this rant) is generally nonexistent or extremely rare… if you’re watching anything other than a BL.
On the rare occasion that we do find some LGBT rep it is usually extremely subtle, and shown exclusively in convoluted subtext and minuscule details that are easily overlooked. While this representation is so incredibly meaningful to everyone who’s able to pick it out, the subtly makes it all the more easy for homophobes to argue that it was never in the first place.
Keeping all this in mind, I finally picked up One Piece several months ago after refusing to watch it for a long-assed time (It was too long and I thought the art style was weird. Dear god have I eaten my words.) I’d heard on social media that One Piece was big on trans representation, but I wasn’t prepared at ALL for what I’d find in that department.
I had NOT expected to find One Piece’s treasure trove of LGBT characters in Impel Down of all pleases, and the shock factor made it so much better.
The arc had already been chaotic as fucking hell by the time Luffy reunited with Bon Clay, and their reunion made me tear up. Like dude!
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I hadn’t been particularly attached to Bon Clay before but THIS ^ was it. This scene right here, he wormed his way into my heart istfg.
Can we appreciate this scene please?! The sparkles in the background?? The leg lifting?! The REUNION HUG?!?! I love this so dearly not just because it’s fucking ADORABLE but because of what it *says.*
Bon Clay is an outwardly queer character, and Luffy absolutely adores him. Those two are best friends and we treat queer people with respect and they are good people. We can be friends with them and allies with them and they aren’t something to shy away from just because they’re different.
Be fucking for real. The representation is so positive, and it never ceases to blow me away.
If you thought that this representation was enough YOU WERE WRONG because this BARELY SCRATCHED THE SURFACE.
Iva. Emperio Ivankov. The Queen of the Queers. He is a gender fluid ICON and a literal drag queen. His special attack is a wink that blows shit up. His Devil Fruit ability is quite literally hormone therapy.
Do I need to say more?
THATS RIGHT, I FUCKING DONT
Now, this is One Piece we’re talking about, so naturally characters are going to be wildly exaggerated but ARE YOU KIDDING
IVA’S ABILITY IS HORMONE THERAPY. HE CHANGES PEOPLE’S GENDER AS AN ATTACK. HIS POWER WORKS THROUGH SYRINGE NEEDLES THAT POP OUT FROM UNDER HIS ACRYLIC NAILS.
I love Iva so fucking much words cannot describe 😭
Oda didn’t just say “look, I made a queer character” he really said “fuck it, nuclear option it is.” It is literally impossible to ignore the fact that Iva is LGBT, and One Piece’s queer rep is SO IN YOUR FACE, especially in Impel Down. It’s impossible to ignore, which is the stark opposite from the usual business with “implied” queer characters in anime.
Implied? HAH.
There is a kingdom of gay people living INSIDE THE WALLS of the biggest prison in the world. They are led by a gender fluid drag queen and run a strip club bar in the middle of a fucking prison, where they drag new gays through the cracks in the walls to join them.
Dude.
I love One Piece so much.
All joking aside, the introduction of Iva and his kingdom of gays drove me to tears. Like deadass. The representation literally drove me to tears, I was sobbing.
Why? Because it was so positive.
Do you know how meaningful that is?
It made me fucking cry, man.
Iva’s speech introducing his gay kingdom, like goddamn. I can’t even remember exactly what he said because I was crying the whole time.
“We’re here and we’re queer.” That’s a quote from fucking One Piece, dude. I can’t, I can’t.
It wasn’t just the introduction of Iva’s kingdom or the LITERAL LESBIAN COUPLE SITTING AT THE BAR, it was the way the sense of community was presented.
We’re called the LGBTQ Community and I don’t know if Oda’s a member or not but HOT damn if he doesn’t know what it means to be a part of it.
I’m talking about the Luffy situation. He fought the Warden and got his ass handed to him. He was poisoned to all hell and about to die at 17 but Bon picked him up and carried him to Iva’s Kingdom. He’s wanted to meet Iva his whole life but by the time he did he was more worried about Luffy’s condition than anything else.
And then we find out that Luffy had insisted that Bon get medical treatment before he did. What a guy. When Iva got Luffy, he said that it was a lost cause to try and overcome the poison. But he was willing to give it a try anyway.
Let’s discuss.
Iva injected Luffy with hormones to help him beat the poison. Luffy underwent hormone therapy. (I will cling to this tidbit of information forever, YOU CANT TAKE IT FROM ME.) When Bon woke up, he demanded to see Luffy.
Iva warned him about what he would find, but brought Bon to Luffy at his request. When Bon found Luffy, he found his friend chained up and screaming in excruciating pain. We didn’t see Luffy in full at all during this time, but when Bon looked through the door he was horrified.
He got defensive. He started yelling at Iva, saying that the person inside that room was not the Luffy he knew.
Iva was firm, and told Bon that Luffy was going through a tough challenge, and he would be different afterwards, but he was still the same Luffy.
Do you see it? Can you read between the lines? This exchange made me sob all over again. Why? I urge you to think about it, to see the underlying message here.
Bon broke down into tears, realizing that Luffy was fighting for his life. He apologized and took back his harsh words.
Then he spent hours outside Luffy’s cell, screaming till his throat was raw and cheering him on. He couldn’t do anything to help Luffy, Luffy was fighting this battle on his own. But he could be there for him.
I ask you again, do you see it?
As the hours passed, others in Iva’s kingdom trickled out to see what Bon was doing. They told him to stop screaming, that it was useless. They mocked him, told him he was being a fool.
Then Iva stood up for him, and told them to see Bon for what he was doing. He couldn’t help Luffy, but he could cheer him on. He could be there for him.
Within moments, the entire kingdom was outside Luffy’s cell. Cheering him on. Encouraging him. Supporting him. They didn’t know who he was but they saw him fighting and immediately backed him up.
It isn’t just representation, merely the presence of a queer character or even an entire kingdom of gays that makes it meaningful. It’s how those characters are shown, how they behave.
Oda could have thrown in a queer character here and there and left it at that, but he went out of his way to show the incredible support system that this community provided. They jumped to Luffy’s aid. They were so supportive and cheered him on until he beat the poison. They fought alongside him… and you know what else?
When Luffy woke up, he accepted them in a heartbeat. He didn’t question anything, just saw a bunch of people and thought “huh. New friends!”
Oda’s representation is exaggerated as much as it is painstakingly accurate in nature and positive to a tee. Obviously it isn’t perfect. Iva and the squad were still mocked, called “freaks” and “weirdos.”
But it’s about Luffy. How Luffy behaves. How Luffy reacts. Even in the face of how the rest of society views Iva and his kingdom, Luffy sees them as friends and allies and doesn’t give a singular shit if they’re gay or not.
Luffy accepts everyone, and he doesn’t draw the line at queer people. The aroace king himself. You heard it here, Luffy is the ultimate ally.
Of course I’m not even scraping the surface on this topic and Oda’s representation is in no way perfect, but Impel Down remains the greatest example of queer rep that I’ve seen this far.
You gotta give credit where credit is due ✨
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itscherrylipsforme · 3 months
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Everything fits into place: Oliver Quick x fem!reader
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Part 1 here
Summary: After having fallen in love with you at an Oxford's library, Oliver planned everything out until he could have you wrapped around his fingers. Now that your school year is over, you have been invited to spend the firsts months of Summer in Saltburn. You were certainly not expecting what you found there, but don't worry, Ollie was already three steps ahead
Warnings: Post Saltburn fic, a little bit dark (it’s Oliver, what you expected?), age gap (he is around 15-17 years older), slightly innocent kin? (A little bit spicy, but nothing really sexual)
Requested: yes
Words: Something between 700-800 words
Author's rambles: As I have seen that people somehow enjoyed my shitty writing I decided to make part two. Hope you like it!
Masterlist Characters I write for
Likes and reblogs are appreciated ღ
I do not authorize any of my works to be copied, translated or plagiarized ✗
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Oliver hadn't told you much about Saltburn, you could only gather the crumbs of information he left once in a while. A beautiful big home in the northwest that he had inherited from a woman he considered to be kind of his "second mother" after she passed away, that was all that you knew about it. Once he also he mentioned that she had met her through her son, who had been in Ollie's year in uni, that had committed suicide when both of them were young. All of that seemed like tragic memories that your boyfriend tried to bury in his past, so you didn't want to dig much on it not to hurt him.
But during the three hours long car ride that you had to do from Oxford to your Summer destination, you were expecting that at least he could describe it with more the detail. To your surprise he didn't and when the two of you arrived at the mansion he was able to call "home" now, just surprised was not the exact word you would use to describe what you were feeling. When the maid who had opened the doors of that palace to the two of you was ordered to dismiss by "Mr Quick" as they referred him, you couldn't help but ask.
"Why didn't you tell me you were practically living like a prince, Ollie?"
"Had to make sure you truly loved me and weren't after my money, darling" He answered plainly and tried to change the subject "Come on, let me show you the place"
"You know I am not like that" You protested. Maybe you wouldn't go as far as saying that you were offended, but you would be lying if you said his words didn't hurt a little at least.
You trusted him with every piece of your heart and soul. Told him all your secrets and all the times you had lost all your hope. You loved him enough to talk about it when you fell like nothing more like some broken mess that no one, not even him, could fix. And yet he couldn't do the same? Couldn't he trust enough for this until now Somehow Oliver managed to read your thoughts from the expression of worry on your face
"My beautiful beautiful y/n I am aware of It now. But trust me, I know better than anyone else how far people can go to gain power, I needed to be sure" His eyes seemed to darken a little for a few brief second lost in his mind until he came back and rested his hand sweetly on your cheek "How can I apologize to my beloved girlfriend for putting her through a trial?"
"Well, one of the few things you did tell me about this place was that it had a library" A little grin played on your lips while he held your hand and guided you through the maze that mansion was.
Four weeks later, you two were laying in the bed you have been sharing during your stay. His arm around your waist a little bit too tight, as you had learned he liked, and your head resting on the crock of his neck. It was one of those lazy mornings that you could spend peacefully in each other embrace.
"You know every day for the rest of our life could be like this" His nose and lips dancing dangerously close to your face as his hand rubbed your back up and down.
"Ollie, that was a funny one" A small giggle echoed in the room.
"I am serious y/n" His big blue eyes glued to you as he started kissing, your forehead, your cheek, your lips... "We could sooner than later. Marry, have you in my bed each morning, and maybe a few kids around if you are up for it. Doesn't it sound good for your"
"I need to finish my degree first, Ollie" His lips now on your neck, and gosh he knew pretty well that you couldn't say no to anything when he did those kind of things.
"Of course you have that, I am not saying otherwise" Actually, you didn't need to finish it, once you were his you wouldn't have to work a single day in your life. But if you wished to gain your diploma to be happy, he wouldn't dare to say otherwise. "Maybe after you graduated, what do you think about?"
You just smiled at his sweet trail of kisses, and he took it as a yes. Soon enough you would be tied forever, soon enough you would be his wife, soon enough you two would be better than the Cattons have ever been. Soon enough, everything from his plan would fit into place.
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gay-dorito-dust · 10 months
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Taglist: @souyasbabyy @kittekat420 @mellozhi @bro-let-me-sleep
This was long overdue…also do I have any idea where this series is going? Honestly I’m just wining it, so if it seems like there’s no consistency…that’s probably bc of me wining it.
Warning: ooc hobie? Shit writing?
Butterflies can’t see the colour of their wings series:
Part 1
Part 2
part 3 (you are here)
When Hobie told you that he’d be there if you were going through something; he meant it.
When Hobie told you that you could come to him for anything that might be plaguing your mind with doubt; he meant it.
He meant every promise he’s ever made.
Every. Last. One.
However Hobie knew that to push you into telling him everything wasn’t the right way to go about solving things, and instead he should wait until you were ready to talk about the issue on your own terms. You’re amazing Hobie and I’m not dismissing your help or anything but I’m sure I can figure this out on my own, if I can’t then I’ll come to you. Were the words you spoke to him. You always wanted to figure things out yourself first before resorting to relying on others for help. While that was admirable, Hobie secretly wanted to be the one you relied on most; after overhearing what you said to Miles about the consequences of wanting what you can’t have because you felt as though you didn’t fit with him.
Which -for clarification- Hobie found to be utter and total bullshit because to him, you couldn’t have fitted better with him. He could give less of a shit about how different you were, whether it was based on lifestyles, aesthetics or differences in personalities, because at the end of the day Hobie only wished to help you realise how beautiful your butterfly wings were; and they are the most beautiful he’s ever seen that to try and describe them would be a fruitless endeavour for you made him feel all kinds of things and those things you made him feel were new and exciting.
How he wishes he could find the way to rid you forever of your self doubt and insecurities that run so deep within yourself that it was nearly impossible to find where it was that the seed of doubt was placed within your heart and soul. Hobie knew he can only say so much before it begins to sound like he was rehashing those same words in a multitude of different ways until they held no emotion nor meaning.
Another thing he often pondered to himself in his spare time was the kiss you left engraved upon his cheek that day as he often ran his calloused fingertips across it gingerly, still feeling the phantom of your lips there. He first wondered if that kiss was merely a gesture of thanks for his offer to help; nothing to be looked deeply upon for it untimely meant nothing outside your appreciation for the strong platonic bond you both built since meeting one another; Whereas he sometimes wished it was you slowly accepting his willingness to become more integrated with your life then he already is but to a more deeper and intimate level.
A level where in his fantasy you both could sit in a together in total silence as you both did your own thing, easily finding comfort within one another’s presence and knowing that you’d never be too far away from actively seeking for one another when wanting to show something.
A level where you would wear his vest outside of the excuse that you looked cold but more so because it would inherit your scent within the fabric, so that whenever he was away he would be reminded of the piece of you that he had with him, telling him that you were waiting for him back home.
A level where he could look into your eyes and see his entire life within them.
A level where he would’ve finally found a way in making you see you from his point of view; for you were a butterfly who would one day realise the colour of your wings and he was the human that would help you see their beauty and worth.
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Runaway Princess (M) ~Bang Chan
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Pairing: RoyalKnight!Chan x Princess!Reader Themes: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Strangers to Lovers, AU - Mediaeval Setting Warnings: mentions and depictions of domestic abuse (unrelated to Chan), graphic depictions of intercourse (smut warnings under the cut). hope i didn’t miss anything Word Count: ~16k | AO3 Summary: Your best friend has sent her most trusted knight to help you escape your abusive home, an intriguing man with many facets you can’t wait to uncover.
Author’s Note: this piece started as just the mountain scene… but before i knew i wanted to expand more on it, blacked out, and suddenly it was twice as long. anyway, if you’re reading this, hope you enjoy! know that feedback is always appreciated.
Due to all the abovementioned warnings, this story is intended for an adult audience only. Minors please do not interact.
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Smut Warnings: dirty talk? i guess, fingering (F.Rec), handjob, oral (M.Rec, F.Rec only implied), dry humping, nipple play (F.Rec), cumshot, unprotected penetration (there’s an unspoken notion that pulling out prevents pregnancy, this is all purely fictional, please protect yourselves irl!).
Disclaimer: the story represented in this work does not represent Stray Kids in any way; anything described in this story and all actions performed by the characters are purely fictional, this was created just for good fun.
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“Who are you?!”
Finding yourself being pulled into a stable at dawn was not something you expected to happen today when you decided to go on a walk, much less finding the person that had pulled you into said stable to be a man you didn’t know.
“I’m sorry for the… Well, the unconventional method to get you to meet me”, the man gave you an apologetic smile, and a short bow of his head. “My name’s Chan, Your Highness. I am a knight of Queen Naeel’s guard. Her Majesty sent me here”.
Your eyes widened at the mention of Naeel’s name, your guard lowering just slightly. Now that the initial fight or flight feeling wore off, you took your time to analyse the man in front of you. Chan was… A handsome young man. He was certainly built like a knight as far as you could tell, very broad, his stance ready for any sudden movement you could make.
You scanned his face for a moment, trying to find any semblance of a lie in his expression. A mess of brown curls on his head, warm brown eyes, a big nose, plump lips, and a scar going from his right eyebrow to the middle of his cheek were all the details you could focus on, his attire that of someone who had indeed prepared for a handful of months travelling from one realm to the other. Interesting… Definitely a handsome young man, but no semblance of lies just yet.
“How do I know you’re telling the truth?” 
“I have this as proof”, Chan reached for his pocket, taking out what looked to be a piece of cord and handing it over to you. “Her Majesty said that would be enough…” He sounded sceptical, and you couldn’t blame him. The thing was composed of several different colours of ribbons tied together, the fabric worn down and the colours washed out from years and years of use, a single star charm tied to the middle. You knew he was telling the truth as soon as you saw it, since you kept an exact copy but with a sun charm around your ankle.
Queen Naeel and you had been friends for years. When you met, you were both tiny little princesses, your parents had taken you both to a grand ball in the realm that separated yours, a friendship that bloomed through correspondence and even more meet-ups as you grew up. You had not known platonic love until you got close to her, and to this day she was probably one of the few reasons why you were still breathing in the first place.
“Why… Why are you here?” You eyed Chan carefully, your fist closing over the friendship anklet, shaking slightly in your tight hold.
“Her Majesty said–and please forgive me, Your Highness, these were her exact words–that she couldn’t let you continue living with your bitch-ass father”, Chan grimaced slightly, and you couldn’t help but chuckle–yeah, that definitely sounded like her. “She read your last letter and got worried, so she sent me to help you escape”.
You father… He was the king of your realm, a powerful man who had only ever known greed and lust. He resented your existence, it was something he never let you forget, he would remind you at any chance he got how your birth brought the death of ‘the only woman he had ever loved’–something you doubted was true, as that man had proven time and time again that he was incapable of feeling any form of love.
As you grew up, your father kept showing more and more distaste towards you. You were just like any other girl, rowdy, adventurous, with a thirst for knowledge that could hardly be quenched by the numerous volumes in the royal library. ‘You should be focusing on embroidery and all those things princesses do, not on riding those damn horses and getting all dirty in the royal gardens’ the worst part was that you did like those things, too. You loved embroidery and needlework, and you doubted other princesses didn’t enjoy riding horses or climbing trees, there was no way you were any different from any other girl out there.
Your suspicions were confirmed the first time you finally met other princesses, the exposure to other girls your age finally cementing in you the fact that your father simply hated you. It didn’t matter what you said or did, he would hate you regardless, so you stopped fighting him altogether, opting to keep your mouth shut when he spit his hateful words at you–it was a lost fight before it even started, after all.
By the time you were fifteen he had already remarried, his new wife birthing a son shortly after, finally displacing you from the picture completely. ‘Who wants a rude, daft princess when I finally have a prince of my own?’ you heard him tell one of his advisors once, you wouldn’t lie, the words stung, they hurt, and you spent days holed up in your room crying–not like anyone cared much about it anyway, if anything, only your maids showed concern when you eventually had stopped eating. Your father, his council members, your step-mother, none of them really cared about you.
A sigh passed your lips as you looked at the anklet in your hand. “Do you even have a plan, or did my dear friend send you here on a whim?” Your friend could be very… Spontaneous, to put it simply. Some would even say she was a bit eccentric, but regardless of her odd ways, she had a strong sense of morality. If she believed something was wrong she would act immediately, ‘let’s just do it! We can always figure out the details later!’ She would often say, which, judging by the sheepish smile on Chan’s lips, was probably exactly what she had told him before sending him here.
“I’ve been trying to come up with something, but… It’s my first time in your kingdom, to be honest, so I don’t know my way around that well”, Chan simply shrugged. “Based on what Her Majesty has told me about you, though, I was hoping we could figure something out together, Your Highness”.
You figured it wouldn’t be hard to leave, considering your presence was hardly ever noticed in the castle anyway. So, after informing Chan of an inn he could stay at for the next few days, you two began to plot your escape. You would have to travel for months, so your baggage had to be kept at a minimum, clothes only as necessary, money, a few toiletries you refused to let go of, and the odd knick-knack with sentimental value were the only things you thought you might need. Chan seemed to agree with you, but he stressed the importance of the right clothes to take with you, no dresses or gowns, only garments that wouldn’t obstruct your mobility, and thick coats were a must since you were going to cross snowy mountains.
Throughout the next handful of days you set on the task to gather your supplies as inconspicuously as you could, getting them out of the castle in small batches to not attract suspicions. The thick coats were the first ones to go since they were the heaviest, you brought them to the inn Chan was staying at for safe keeping, and the rest soon followed, until five days later you were able to bundle everything neatly so you could strategically place it on your horse after–a suggestion Chan gave you alleging that ‘it’ll be easier for her if you distribute the weight’, which made sense to you.
On your last day in your father’s castle, you gathered as many jewels as you could, as well as any gold and silver coins you had stashed away for safe-keeping throughout the years. Deep down, you had always had the idea of escaping, so you had saved up, even if you hardly ever entertained the idea. You never had the guts to go through with it because you knew you wouldn’t have been able to make it on your own. Now, though, your best friend and her trusted knight had given you the support you needed, so you took it, finally releasing yourself from your father’s abusive grasp.
You wouldn’t lie, your first week was hard. You hadn’t realised how privileged you were. Sure, you had been emotionally and physically abused for years, but you’d always had food and shelter and comfort… The first night you had to camp out you could hardly get any sleep, the floor was uneven, and the noises of the night scared you. ‘Don’t worry, princess… I got you. I won’t let anything happen to you’ Chan had gently offered when he saw your panicked expression after a particularly loud noise. And, in a way, that did comfort you a bit.
Chan… Chan was gentle, he was proper, and so well mannered… At least, he was when he talked to you. As the days went by, you’d catch glimpses of his other facets, particularly when he thought you weren’t close enough to hear, and it intrigued you. When you two went to any tavern to get some sustenance, and you’d separate from him for one reason or another, you could hear him talk with the attendant, or with another customer, and it was as if he was a completely different person–or rather, a different version of himself. Looser, cheekier, and with a mouth that would put any sailor to shame–all that gone and replaced with his stoic, responsible, and sensible side as soon as you came close and he noticed your presence. It was fascinating, really. And you would lie if you said your curiosity hadn’t been piqued.
You started to notice Chan loosen up around two weeks into your journey. His stance around you relaxed, he’d joke more, tease more, and it gave you a very diluted taste of that Chan you had secretly seen–and heard–talking with anyone other than you. You tried your best to make him feel comfortable around you, but you also tried your best to press his buttons, to get him to react to you, to annoy him a bit. 
You quickly found out that Chan liked to lead, to be in control, and oftentimes–in situations that weren’t that serious–you enjoyed defying him, you enjoyed seeing the way his jaw clenched and his gaze shifted, almost, almost as if he wanted to put you in your place, but as soon as you saw that shift in him, you relented, hearing the shaky intake of breath and seeing the whiplash of his own emotions reflected in his eyes.
“How far are we?” You asked out of curiosity as you absentmindedly pushed the bright embers with a stick.
“I’d say… We probably have a bit more than a month and a half to go, Your Highness”, Chan simply looked at the bonfire, at how you pushed the burning pieces around. “Why? Are you not enjoying the super comfortable soil at night, princess?” There was a glint of a teasing tone in his voice, that bit of sarcasm that intrigued you, that piqued your interest, and it made you snort, such an un-princess-like reaction that you knew your father would’ve punished you for as soon as he heard it.
“I’ll take the forest’s soil every night if it means being away from that goddamned castle”, you commented, taking the stick out of the fire and waving it in the air to put out the small flame that had clung to it. “Oddly enough, sleeping on the ground feels more comfortable than being trapped within those walls”.
You could feel Chan’s eyes burning on your side profile, almost as if he was pondering while he scrutinised your face. There was usually distance between you and Chan, both physically and metaphorically, but tonight, as you sat thigh against thigh by the bonfire trying to keep yourselves warm, you could almost, almost feel how those reservations of his were diminishing slowly, but steadily.
“Your Highness, if I may… Why did Her Majesty send me to get you? What was happening in there with your father?” Chan surprised you when he asked such a personal question, and it was almost as if he could infer what happened, but he wanted to be certain of it, why he wanted to know, though, you weren’t sure. “You know how Queen Naeel can be, she didn’t give me any details other than what I told you when we met…”
Your eyes were fixed on the dancing flames in front of you as you took in a deep breath. “My father… My father is a man that doesn’t know love. He claims he does, but he doesn’t. He blames me for my mother’s death, says that, had I not been growing in her, she wouldn’t have died trying to bring me into this world. Stupid, isn’t it? Blame me, who didn’t ask to be brought here in the first place, while he himself put me in there. He’s just mad she died not giving him a son”.
It was as if a dam broke, words falling out of your mouth endlessly with no way to stop them. You told him everything that had happened to you–maybe in too much detail, you’d admit. You told him how your father treated you–or rather, mistreated you–how you were ignored, treated as a lesser being in your own home, how you couldn’t simply be you, you couldn’t exist. Food was kept from you when you spoke out of line, you were confined to your chambers when you didn’t behave as you were expected to, those workers that came too close to you would be discharged as soon as your father found out, and whenever you did anything your father deemed unworthy, not princess-like, not to his standards, he’d hit you. With a stick, with an iron rod, with his hands, with whatever he could reach at the time.
Chan listened intently to every single word that left your mouth, and you hadn’t even realised you were crying until you felt his hand holding yours, the soft caress of his thumb on your knuckles easing the trembles you didn’t even know were coursing through you.
“I’m… I’m sorry, princess”, was all he said as he held your hand.
“There’s no need for that”, you hiccuped as you used your sleeve to wipe some of the tears on your face. “The only one that should be sorry is him… And even then, I’m not sure I would ever be able to forgive him”.
“You don’t really have to, princess”, Chan offered, his tone gentle. “There are things in this world that can’t be forgiven. The notion that we must forgive to heal our wounds is… Is not for everyone. Not in my opinion, at least”.
“I think that’s a fair opinion to have”, you moved your gaze from where it was fixed on your joined hands so you could look him in the eyes. Chan was already looking at you, the light of the bonfire had his brown eyes almost sparkling, and you couldn’t help but feel your breath catching in your throat under his heavy gaze. Using every bit of royal tricks you had, you put up your walls, trying to appear more collected than you were when you finally spoke again. “Have you done it before?”
Chan blinked slightly, almost as if your question had startled him. “Done what, Your Highness?”
“Heal without forgiving”, your eyes jumped around his face, taking in his features, his lips, his nose, his eyes, his scar… Had he been sitting this close the entire time? You could practically count every individual eyelash, and if you were completely honest with yourself, it was quickening your heartbeat more than you would like to admit.
“I have”, Chan replied simply, his eyes seemed to be also taking in your features for a moment, until he finally let go of your hand, bringing it instead to his face, pointing to his scar. “Both physically and emotionally”.
You wanted to inquire more, to learn the story behind the scar on his face, but before you could, Chan stood up from the ground, huffing an ‘anyway, you should sleep, Your Highness’, effectively ending the conversation.
Something shifted between you two that night. You had expected Chan to treat you differently, perhaps trying to act sympathetic around you, or trying to act as if he were walking on eggshells when he talked to you after you told him what had happened to you, what had been done to you. Instead, he just opened up more, showing you more of that other side of him–not fully, but just… More. And it dawned on you then that at that moment, Chan started to see you, to really see you. As a person, as a woman, not some entity, some mindless princess living the perfect royal life. He’d joke even more, tease you even more, and he’d play along when you defied him, and it was fun. 
‘Be careful, princess’, he’d tell you when you got a bit too close to the edge, when you had pressed his buttons a bit too much. ‘Or what? What are you going to do about it?’ you’d taunt him, and sometimes, you’d catch his eyes moving around your face, resting on your lips for a fraction of a second, before they snapped back up and simply diverted the conversation. ‘I might have to leave you right here on your own, Your Highness’, he’d tell you with a teasing smile on his lips. You knew it was all talk, so you would always scoff at the comment.
It was odd, really, considering you hadn’t known each other for long. But Chan truly made you feel safe, made you feel comfortable, and in a way, you hoped he felt that way around you, too, all things considered. Somehow, it was as if there was something lingering between you two, when you talked, when you stood close, you felt almost as if there were sparks flying around, a tension that would build the longer you spent time together, a tension that was not uncomfortable by any means, it was just… There, as if you both were just holding your breath, expectant, and it truly, truly intrigued you. 
“We’re going further up the mountains tomorrow, princess”, Chan commented as you two sat on the stools of the inn’s tavern, watching as the attendant took the empty plates in front of you. “I heard from a lad just a while ago that it’s snowing heavily…”
Your eyes lit up, your whole body perking up as you snapped your head in his direction, looking at him. “Really?”
Chan blinked slightly, confused. “Yes? That’s not… It’s not something good for us, Your Highness”, he finished off with a laugh, taking another sip of his drink.
“Oh, it isn’t?” Your shoulders slumped slightly, feeling bummed out now. “I’ve just never seen snow before”.
Chan looked slightly surprised. “Never ever?”
“Never. It doesn’t snow where I’m from”.
Chan just hummed, thoughtful. “Guess we might need to get a few more supplies, princess”.
You rolled your eyes in annoyance, not because of the comment itself but because Chan kept on calling you ‘princess’ or ‘Your Highness’, and now, it was really starting to annoy you. “It’s been over a month already, Chan. Stop referring to me by title…”
Chan simply chuckled, taking a long sip of his ale and licking his lips clean right after. “You are a princess, Your Highness. I must address you as such. I’m only a Knight, after all”.
You hated the way he said that, as if he thought of himself as being below you–although you did want him below you sometimes, just in a more improper way. “I’m asking you not to, though. Isn’t that enough for you?”
Chan looked at you for a moment, then back to his drink. “This feels like a trap question…”
“Come on, if our roles were reversed, would you want me to continue calling you prince? Your Highness? Or would you want me to be comfortable around you? To be myself?” The question was pointed, and when Chan stared into your eyes right as you asked it, you could see something in them, an emotion you couldn’t quite decipher.
“Princess…” It was his warning tone, the tone that he started to use when you were almost pressing his buttons too much. “I am myself around you”.
You scoffed. “Please, not even you believe that”, you couldn’t help the sarcastic laugh at that, taking a sip of your drink.
“I am! At least, a more… Proper version of myself, I guess”, he admitted. “The me who’s a knight. A knight of Queen Naeel’s Guard, and as such, I must address royalty appropriately. Come on, let’s go buy a few blankets, princess”, Chan added as he stood up from his seat, gulping the rest of his drink in one go.
You hated that he continuously put that space between you two, because you didn’t want it there, because, by the time you had finally made it to the snowy mountains, you were burning up from the inside out, and you wanted nothing more than for him to let go of those inhibitions.
“It’s cold”, you dumbly commented as you both seeked shelter in the mountains, the snow under your horses’ hooves crunching with every step they took.
You weren’t that used to such low temperatures. not because you had any particular heating system in your father’s castle, but because your realm was of a much warmer climate all year round, so much so it was considered as if there were only two seasons there, rainy and drought, with constant warm temperatures.
“You don’t say, princess” Chan snorted, pulling on the bridle gently to stop his horse. “I think this place will do. The horses need to rest and it’s getting dark”.
It was an almost cave on the side of the mountain, big enough to fit you two and your two horses with some room to spare. It wasn’t completely closed off so it wouldn’t provide as much insulation as you would’ve liked, but you had to make do.
Chan looked for a place to tie the equines securely so they wouldn’t run away during the night, all while you set camp. You’d learn how to actually do these things on this journey, a skill that you were now grateful to have. Had you made your escape without Chan, you would’ve surely died the first night out there, unable to set a safe space for yourself. You could still remember the first time you tried to start a fire with the two pieces of flint, you had given up after the twentieth time, and Chan had offered you an encouraging ‘it’s all about practice, princess. You’ll get there eventually’. And you got there, the fire in front of you starting with a single flick of the two stones together proof of that.
“We’re only two weeks away from Queen Naeel’s realm”, Chan commented once you had had supper, extending his hands towards the bonfire. “It’ll be much easier to move once we’re there, probably three weeks in total for us to reach the castle”.
You simply hummed in response, scooting closer to the fire. “I can’t wait to see her, I really, really miss her”.
“You two are really good friends, aren’t you? For Her Majesty to do something like this…”
“We are”, you could feel your teeth starting to chatter slightly, so you tried to wrap the blanket you had brought with you tighter around your body. “I love her deeply. And after this, I don’t think I’d ever be able to repay her”.
Chan chuckled softly. “Her Majesty wouldn’t expect you to repay her, Your Highness. But if you’re close, I’m sure you know”.
“Oh, I know”, you tried to get as close to the fire as you could, taking special care to not get your blanket on fire. “But still. I won’t be able to repay her, nor you. I’m really grateful”.
“I mean, it was a royal order, so it’s not like I’m making art for art’s sake, princess”, Chan snorted. “But I must say, it isn’t as difficult as I thought it was going to be”.
“Oh? Why? Did you expect a bratty little princess high on her horse? Or did you expect for the journey to be riddled with traps and schemes like in the classic novels they teach at school?”
You heard Chan mumble something, it was hard to hear but you could’ve sworn he had said something along the lines of ‘…a bit of a brat’ but before you could question it he was shaking his head slightly and speaking again. “Honestly, I’m not exactly sure what I was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t this, Your Highness. You’ve made it really easy. You’re fun to talk with, even though you’re a princess and I’m a simple knight, you treat me with real respect when we’re not joking around. I’ve had fun all throughout and, in a way, I’m grateful”.
Oh? So he did enjoy when you pressed his buttons, interesting… You blinked slightly, at his words, a little shocked. After a few seconds, you scoffed, a smile settling on your lips. “How silly. I am the one who’s grateful here”.
“It’s not a competition, princess”, Chan chuckled, standing up from where he was sitting by the bonfire to lay on the blanket you had laid for him on the floor. “You should get some sleep”.
You simply hummed in acknowledgement, but you didn’t move. Truth was, you were freezing. You had also laid a blanket on the floor for you to lay on, but you figured that if you were freezing sitting right here by the fire, you’d die if you laid down on the blanket. So you sat there, as close as you could to the fire, wrapping the blanket over your body as tight as you could.
You weren’t sure how much time had passed–fifteen, twenty minutes?– but you figured Chan was fast asleep already, since he was completely silent. You sat there, debating whether you should go to your other blanket on the floor, maybe pick it up and throw it over your body as well and sit here to try and get some heat from the bonfire. But you couldn’t move, you were just too cold and moving from this spot sounded like the worst idea ever.
Suddenly, you felt hands on your body, holding your upper arms over the blanket you had around your form. You tensed slightly at the unexpected contact, turning your face to find a concerned looking Chan staring at you. “You’re shivering, princess”.
“I’m–I’m really cold”, your whole face felt as if it was about to fall off, and it was truly not pleasant at all.
Chan moved away from you, picking up the blanket on the floor and wrapping it around you. It helped a bit… Emphasis on a bit, as you could still feel your teeth chattering slightly. He noticed, so he moved away again, grabbing his own blanket.
“Don’t you–Don’t you dare”, was all you could muster, seeing as Chan stopped in his tracks with his blanket still in his hand. “You’ll freeze”.
“You clearly need it more than I do, Your Highness. I’m used to this climate, you’re clearly not”, he attempted to wrap his blanket around your form, but you stopped him, a rush of coldness reaching you as your arms left the safety of your cocoon. “Your Highness–”
“Let’s just… Let’s just share, then”, you weren’t thinking much when you said it, you just desperately wanted some warmth, you didn’t think you could withstand this for much longer.
Chan looked apprehensive for a moment, until he finally nodded, guiding you from where you sat by the fire to the blanket he had been laying on previously. As soon as you laid down, he threw all remaining three blankets over your body, finally tucking himself in as well after you gave him a disapproving look when he looked like he was thinking of not doing it.
Soon enough, with the amount of blankets on top of you, and another human body next to you, you started to warm up. Chan wasn’t really that close to you, there was a fair distance, but the blankets provided enough insulation for his body heat to spread over to you, which you couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief about.
“Better?” Chan asked after a while as he was laying on his left side, turned to you.
“Much”, you were still cold, but not freezing cold, so it was a start. You would surely warm up completely eventually. “Thank you”.
“You’re welcome. Now, sleep”.
You laid there for a while, waiting to warm up further so you could comfortably fall asleep, hearing how Chan’s breathing evened out. Every time you had to sleep in a new setting, it took you a long time to get to sleep, be it for the hard terrain, the changes in temperature, or the noises around you, it always took you a long time, which translated into you tossing and turning more than you probably should with another person sleeping next to you.
At first you laid on your back, then you moved towards Chan, but you couldn’t help your eyes from staying open and focusing on his handsome face, so you laid on your back again, only to turn away from him and lay on your left side. You repeated the motions a few times, your coat coming undone in the process, opening and leaving your front exposed-save for the shirt below it, of course. Thankfully the heap of blankets provided enough warmth that you didn’t really need to close it again. 
As you continued to sporadically toss and turn, you couldn’t help but come to the realisation that you were literally sharing your sleeping space with Chan. Somehow, that realisation made you warm up quicker, made you even more restless, which honestly was not what you needed right now. What if you inadvertently pressed yourself to him while you slept? Sure, you were attracted to him but you didn’t want to make him uncomfortable, much less if you didn’t know how he felt about the entire thing. He was still, after all, putting that space between you two.
You continued your almost struggle with yourself, with finding a comfortable position to sleep, until Chan suddenly moved, his arm wrapping around you and his hand holding onto your ribs, effectively stopping your movement. An annoyed huff passed his lips, the heat of his palm just shy away from your breast kick-starting your heartbeat. “Stop moving so much, princess. I’m trying to sleep”, the low tone of his voice so close to your ear sent a shiver down your spine, you just couldn’t help it, and you had to shut your eyes tightly, swearing at yourself for getting yourself in this situation.
Your senses were on high alert, suddenly aware of the lack of space between your bodies, Chan was not fully pressed to you, but one push and he could be… He could very well be flush to your back, the thought now worming into your brain, playing on a maddening loop and why wouldn’t he just move his hand a bit further up…?
“I’m trying to get comfortable”, could he feel your racing heart against his palm as he held you? There was no way he couldn’t, but you were still proud of the evenness in your voice, as if you were not burning from the inside out from your sinful thoughts and the mere feel of his hand on you.
“We’re laying on the ground under a dent on the side of a mountain, Your Highness. Sorry to say, but I don’t think you’ll find any comfort tonight”, Chan let out an amused chuckle, his words coming out as barely a whisper.
“I’m missing the inn we stayed at last night…” You commented absentmindedly. Your mind was too focused on Chan’s hand on your ribs, his hold firm, but gentle, succeeding at keeping you from shuffling too much and Gods why wouldn’t he just move it up?
“Almost two months of travelling and you’ve already let your standards dip this low, huh princess?” Chan shuffled a bit, getting more comfortable, you presume. Was he closer now? You couldn’t tell. There was still a fair bit of space between your bodies, space that the more you felt his warm palm on you the more you wished it didn’t exist.
“Beggars can’t be choosers, isn’t that what they say?” What if you pushed yourself to him? Would he like that? Or would you overstep some boundary if you did? Chan was unmarried, you knew that much, and sometimes you saw the way his eyes looked at you, the way they settled on your lips longer than what was conventionally appropriate, the way he leaned forward just a bit only to step back and smile at you, the way his hands would linger on your skin whenever he had to touch you… Or had you imagined it? “That’s what’s brought us here, cuddled up under these blankets, barely even sheltered by the mountainside”.
“This can hardly be considered cuddling, Your Highness”, there was a glint of amusement in Chan’s words, you could almost hear the smile on his lips as he said it.
Chan’s hand started to move, painfully slow, retreating carefully from your frame so it could go back to lay wherever he had been keeping it before placing it on your body. You couldn’t let that happen, not now that you knew how having the weight of his hold on you felt like. Maybe the cold had effectively killed every single one of your brain cells, all reason slipping from you as your hand shot to his quickly before he got to remove it from you completely, tugging on it–the sudden movement catching Chan off guard, making his chest press against your upper back with the motions.
You heard it. 
You heard the way his breath caught in his throat at the contact, and the sound fuelled your impulsive actions, so you placed his hand right back where it was on your ribs, if only a bit further up, almost, almost touching the underside of your breast. “We need to fix that then”, cuddling wasn’t exactly what you had in mind right now, but it was a start.
Chan didn’t move away, he didn’t talk, you doubt he was barely even breathing, at least for a moment. There was silence for a bit, until you heard the shaky inhale, feeling the exhale against your nape right after. “Princess… What are you doing?” His tone was tentative, checking the waters for what might be appropriate to say or not, just like he often did.
“I’m not doing anything”, you couldn’t help the smile that crept onto your lips as you lied through your teeth.
“Bullshit”, you’d truly only ever heard Chan swear when he thought you weren’t close by to hear, and even then he was usually so far away it barely even felt like it was him talking. Now, you had finally heard it clear as day against your ear, and it shouldn’t have affected you, but it did–your thighs pressing a bit closer together to ease a bit of that ache that was steadily building between your legs.
Chan didn’t make any attempts to move, not closer nor away from you. You could feel his chest rise and fall against your back in short spurts, and you knew you had caught his attention with your stunt. Maybe the cold had truly killed your reason. “What if I am doing something, though?” Your voice was barely a whisper, but you could hear a pin drop in the silence that surrounded you, so you knew he was listening.
You heard–and felt–his deep intake of breath, the thumb of the hand you kept pressed to your ribs moving ever so slightly, back and forth, back and forth, slowly, each stroke almost touching the underside of your breast. “I shouldn’t…”
“You don’t sound too convinced”.
“I’m not”, he admitted immediately, almost as if the words had escaped from a place deep within him where they had been contained. “You… You’re a princess, Your Highness”.
“And? I told you my story, my title has brought nothing but despair and desolation to my life. Besides, I’m running away from my land, I wouldn’t be surprised if the King has revoked it already”.
Silence fell between you two, but your positions didn’t change, nor did the movement of Chan’s thumb on you stop. The more the silence stretched out, the more unsure you started to feel, insecurity creeping into every secluded area of your mind.
“Unless you… Unless I’m making you uncomfortable. You can say that, too, if that’s what this is, and I’ll stop”.
Chan chuckled softly behind you, the sound almost incredulous. “I must be a better actor than I thought if you think you are making me uncomfortable”, he went silent for a bit, until his upper body shuffled a bit closer to you, fully pressing his chest to your back as his lips came close to your ear. “The only uncomfortable thing right now, princess, is my traitorous cock straining my pants”.
Your breath hitched in your throat, your thighs further pressing together, an involuntary reaction upon Chan’s confession. Encouraged by his words, you held his hand tighter, dragging it further up so he could finally cup your breast, a shaky exhale passing your lips as his hand groped you as soon as you had placed it there.
“Fuck…” Chan’s lips attached to your neck, leaving kisses and licks wherever he could while his hands grew bolder, dragging to your other breast to provide it with as much attention as the other, gently teasing your nipples over your shirt. “Is this why you were tossing and turning so much? Because you were thinking of me touching you like this?”
“I was–Was truly trying to get comfortable…” Any time his lips pressed on your skin, you felt a jolt of excitement spark from the spot and shoot straight down to your core, your clenching thighs doing absolutely nothing to ease the ache that continued to build between your legs. You needed him. You needed Chan to touch you without barriers, you needed to feel as much of his skin on you as you could. “Chan…”
“Fuck”, his hand shot down from your breast to cup you over your trousers, pulling you to him so your rear was flush to his crotch. You couldn’t help the whine that escaped you as you felt him, hard and warm, grinding slowly against you, with his hand still on your mound. “If you keep making those sounds, if you keep saying my name like that… I’ll do something you might regret in the morning”.
You pushed further into him, your bum dragging over his crotch, making him swear under his breath. “Do it”.
His hand moved, slipping past the waistband of your trousers, under your underwear for his fingers to find your slit. “Shit, so wet and I’ve barely even touched you, princess”, coating his fingers in your essence he brought them up to your clit, rubbing teasing circles on your skin, moans catching in your throat as you bit your lower lip to dampen the sounds.
“Chan… A bit–bit softer”.
Chan’s fingers complied, adjusting the pressure of his slow movements on you. “Mmm, like this?”
“Go up a bi–Oh, shit…”
A soft chuckle passed Chan’s lips, raising goosebumps on your nape as he mumbled against your skin. “Swearing, princess? Such a dirty mouth… I wonder what else it can do”.
“You…” Swallowing thickly, you gathered your thoughts, the slow, almost teasing movement of his fingers on your clit making your head spin. “You’d be surprised”
“I’m sure”, his pace picked up, your legs parting enough to give him more space to manoeuvre, holding onto his forearm for dear life as your breathing became more and more laboured. “I’ve been… Been thinking of doing this, princess. Of touching you, kissing you… I know I shouldn’t have, but I was”. 
“Been… Been thinking about you, too…” You could feel heat spread on your face the more he worked you up, his lips on your skin aiding the movement of his fingers on building and building and building your impending orgasm. The slow grind of his hips against your rear was maddening, the feel of his hard length on your bum suddenly making you feel empty, the need to have him in you growing exponentially with each swipe of his fingers on your clit.
“Spread your legs further, lay it over my thigh”.
You did as asked, right as Chan pushed his knee between your legs for you to move them further apart and give him more space for his fingers to dip from your clit to your entrance, his ring and middle finger entering you with ease, a shameless moan escaping your mouth at the sudden feeling of fullness. You were sure it wouldn’t be as fulfilling as his cock, but it would do for now.
 “Guide me, princess”, Chan whispered against your ear, his tone confident, but slightly urgent, his lips brushing your skin with every syllable. “Tell me how you like to be touched here”.
“Bit more towards the entrance… More… Harder…”
Chan adjusted his fingers to follow your direction, prodding your walls until he finally found the spot you were guiding him to. Your sigh of relief did not go unnoticed, an amused chuckle falling from Chan’s lips as the movement of his fingers inside of you picked up, his palm lightly stimulating your clit. “You’re fucking dripping all over my fingers… You have really been wanting this, haven’t you? Shit, I bet if it weren’t for these many layers of fabric we could hear the wet sounds as my fingers go in and out of you…”
“Shit…” The faster he moved, the more you cursed, your moans and whines becoming more and more frequent. Desperation started to cling to you, your hips rolling to chase his fingers as well as to rub yourself against his crotch, your walls clenching around him the further that familiar knot in your stomach tightened. You needed your release, and you needed it now. “Chan… I need–Want to…”
“Come on, princess. Give it to me. I got you, remember? I got you. Let me hear you come for me…”
Your vision blurred, the knot in your lower belly unravelling as your climax hit you after a few more flicks of his fingers against your walls, letting warmth spread within your body in its wake. You might have moaned out his name as you did, you couldn’t tell, your senses momentarily shut off, completely overcome by the entire feeling.
Chan removed his fingers from your core, his hand dragging out of your underwear spreading the remnants of your release on your skin as it went, sneaking under your shirt and settling on your lower belly, softly kneading your flesh. “I’m fucking ruined, princess”, his lips pressed kisses on your skin between words, making you flush further. “How can I go back to acting normal around you now that I know you can moan so prettily for me?”
You were still panting, your nerve endings still on fire, but that didn’t stop you from turning around, finally coming face to face with Chan. The full moon and the barely lit bonfire provided enough light for you to make out the features of his face, to see his eyes scanning your face intently. “I’m sure we can figure something out”, taking a hold of the collar of his coat you pulled him to you, crashing your lips with his, a surprised yelp escaping Chan’s throat with the action, surprised as if he had not just had his fingers in your cunt, as if he had not just coaxed a mind-numbing orgasm out of you.
As soon as the initial shock passed, he sprung into action, his tongue making its way into your mouth to hungrily push against yours. His hands found purchase on your bum, eagerly groping you as you palmed his crotch, firmly pressing against his length, the action making Chan bite your lower lip with a grunt and his hips buck forward.
You wasted no time undoing his coat, unbuckling his belt, unbuttoning his trousers, and pulling his zipper down, finally slipping your hand in his underwear to get a feel of him all while you continued to devour his mouth. Chan was warm and heavy in your hand, the sensation making you feel dizzy with all the chaotic thoughts that suddenly started to roam freely in your mind–how he would feel in your mouth, how heavy he would feel on your tongue, how he would stretch your cunt open, how he would fill you up…
“Show me how you like it”, you mumbled against his lips as your fingers wrapped around him, your thumb spreading the fluids spilling from his tip around his head, aiding you to give a couple tentative pumps to his cock.
“Shit… Spit on your hand, princess. Make it feel as if it were your warm, wet cunt on me”.
Chan truly was swearing a lot, you had heard him before, but you weren’t prepared. The contrast of his usual way of addressing you and this had your head spinning. Seeing him and hearing him lose himself enough to let his mouth run freely was immensely gratifying, and you wanted nothing more than to continue to hear him let himself go like this. 
So you did as asked, ungracefully spitting on your hand so you could wrap it around him once again. Somewhere in the back of your mind you could remember your father reprimanding you when you were little for spitting– ‘proper ladies do not spit, much less princesses. That’s something only peasants do’. To his standards, proper ladies surely didn’t let knights from other lands finger them on the mountains, yet here you were.
“Tighter”, Chan whispered against your lips, bringing his hand to join yours around his length, helping you tighten your grip around him to his liking. “Fuck, yeah… Just like that”, his hand moved from yours so he could grope your breast instead, while the other pulled the hem of his shirt further up his torso to not get soiled by his fluids. You took advantage of that, placing your free hand on his abdomen to feel his soft skin under your palm, feeling his muscles clenching ever so slightly the more you worked his cock, the more you touched his bare skin.
Removing your hand from his length briefly, you spit on it again to further lubricate him as soon as your hand resumed its motions. His hips bucked, fervently chasing your hand, the movement producing obscene squelching sounds that had Chan grunting against your mouth.
You both had gotten under these blankets however long ago cold as a seal’s bum, it was still snowing out of your makeshift shelter, but the second Chan’s hands had touched your bare body the temperature started to rise. Now, as his hips continued to thrust into your grip and your lips eagerly moved against one another, sweat collected on the back of your neck, the warmth and heat produced by your bodies completely all-consuming.
It was getting harder to breathe, your lips moving from his to attach to his neck instead, pressing kisses there as you tried to get some air into your lungs. “Fuck, you could–you could make me blow like this”, Chan was breathless, his chest heaving the faster you moved your hand around his length, focusing now all your attention on his tip.
“That’s the plan”, Chan had wanted to hear you come earlier, and now you wanted to hear him come for you, too.
Groans and grunts fell from his mouth, albeit slightly muffled as Chan bit his lower lip to dampen the sound. As you continued to lick and kiss his neck you could hear him mumble, something akin to ‘fucking ruined…’ while his hips started to move faster, fucking your hand to chase his own release.
Chan tilted his body slightly, a warning passing his lips as he held his shirt higher and as he tried to create some space between you two and the blankets over you. With a few more pumps of your hand he finally came undone, his release spilling from his tip and landing all over his abs as a drawn out groan fell from his mouth.
“Shit, what a mess…”
“I got you”, you reached your free hand out of the mess of fabric on top of you towards the bag resting above your heads, blindly rummaging its contents until you found the handkerchief you kept in there.
You did your best to clean him up, using the last bit of dry fabric after to wipe your hand while Chan buttoned up his trousers again. It was really warm under the blanket, but you knew that if you removed yourself any further from here you’d freeze in record time, so you stayed put–Chan clearly having a similar thought.
Silence fell for a while between you two, you could see Chan looking at the ceiling of the cave, a hand in his hair softly massaging his scalp and lightly tugging on the strands between his fingers as he seemed to mull something over. The fact that he seemed to be making a conscious effort to not look at you made you feel anxious all of a sudden. Was he regretting what just happened? You didn’t regret it one bit, if anything, this felt like just an appetiser, something to mildly ease your hunger until you could finally stuff yourself full.
“Princess…” His voice startled you, but you turned to look at him regardless, finding him already eyeing you, almost tentatively. “I’m gonna… Gonna kiss you now, yeah?”
He sounded… Nervous? Almost as if he thought you wouldn’t let him. You couldn’t help but scoff at the thought. “Kiss me”.
His lips were on yours before you could even finish saying ‘me’, soft, tired pecks against your lips, his arms pulling you further into him for your head to lay on his arm while one of his legs slotted between yours, keeping you close. “I’m truly, truly ruined”, he mumbled against your lips, his hand coming to hold your hip. “Royally fucked…”
“That’d be two of us, then”, you pressed kisses back on his lips as you spoke, your hand coming to play with the hair on the back of his head as his thumb drew patterns on your hip. “Is this now cuddling enough for your standards?”
A soft chuckle fell from Chan’s lips, giving you another kiss as his hold on you tightened. “Now it is. Before it was just me trying not to rub myself on you the second we got under these blankets”.
Chan pulled back slightly, just enough to look you in the eyes. Sneaking his hand from your hip to your bum, he squeezed your buttcheek, the motion making you hike your leg up his torso, pulling him even closer to you. “Still cold?”
You shook your head, and Chan simply leaned in, pressing a kiss to your lips briefly, accentuating his next words with a tight squeeze to your bum. “You’re not gonna get rid of me now, princess. As soon as we make it to the next inn and I get you on a bed I’m gonna make you all mine”.
You chuckled softly, leaning in to press a loud kiss to his lips. “I’ll hold you to that”.
As Chan held you, softly caressing your back, your bum, your thigh, and with the aftereffects of your orgasm still pumping through your veins, you finally fell asleep. 
The next morning you woke up as soon as the first rays of sunlight touched your closed lids. Once you regained your senses enough you could feel warmth all over you, and you realised then that Chan was clinging to your frame, holding you so tightly in his arms you could hardly breathe. You tried to wake him up, gently caressing his back and softly murmuring his name. Your attempts only made him whine, musing a sleepy ‘five more minutes…’ before he nuzzled his face in the crook of your neck.
All you did was chuckle softly, threading your fingers in his hair to massage his scalp, eliciting a satisfied hum against your neck. Just as you had not been prepared for Chan’s unfiltered swearing, you had also not been prepared for this facet of Chan, the clingy, touchy Chan. Even as you broke camp, he remained as close to you as he could, with his hands on you as much as he could, touching you, hugging you, even kissing you. A completely different demeanour from the one he sported when you had gotten into that almost-cave the night before.
And you retaliated, of course. With your own touches, with your own words, with your own mouth, finally able to physically display your feelings. When Chan bent over to pick up the last bundle of blankets so he could strap it up to his horse, you were presented with an opportunity, something you had wanted to do for so long but you hadn’t dared. Now, though, you could. You could indulge, so you did, reaching to him and pinching one of his buttcheeks. Chan stilled for a moment, but he resumed his movements almost immediately after, regarding you with a smirk as he finished his task.
Just as you were about to hop on your horse, you felt his hand on your rear, gripping the flesh tightly as his free hand cupped your cheek, bringing your mouth to his, stealing the air out of your lungs with his heated kiss. All you could do was whine as you brought your hand to his nape to attempt to pull him impossibly closer to you. It was truly exhilarating, feeling Chan’s warmth all over you as he kissed you, his tongue feeding the fire in the pit of your stomach, and his, too, if the hardness you felt against your belly was anything to go by.
Finally, letting go of your buttock, Chan landed a harsh smack on your rear, making you simultaneously gasp and laugh, completely in disbelief. Chan simply shrugged, alleging ‘you get your fun, so it’s only fair I get mine, too’ before he helped you get on your horse, moving to mount his as soon as you were seated.
Once you both left your former campsite behind, and got back on the trail, you couldn’t help but ask, “so, how long until we reach some civilization?”
“Probably a day, or half a day if there are no eventualities”, Chan offered. “Why, princess? Wanna get fucked that badly?” You could practically hear the smirk on his face as he talked, and you couldn’t help but scoff, incredulous. Oh, how you liked this side of Chan, too…
“Oh, I do want to get fucked”, you heard Chan laugh next to you, seemingly also in disbelief at your honesty. “But, I’m asking because I’m truly curious, besides, I figured since you already had your fingers in my cunt, might as well stop being all mysterious and tell me more about yourself on our way there”.
Chan chuckled, but he humoured you regardless. It wasn’t as if Chan hadn’t told you things about himself before, he had told you enough to intrigue you, to want to inquire more on his life, and you had managed to gather a few things here and there just by looking at him, just by the way he did things, said things, or the way he carried himself. So, as you continued your journey, hearing him tell you about his humble up-bringing, about his family, about his knighthood, steadily satisfied some of that curiosity you had towards him.
You learnt that Chan had two younger siblings, and his parents were still alive. His mother worked as a seamstress, while his dad was also a knight in the Queen’s Guard, ‘it was almost a given that I would take the oath as well and follow my father’s steps. And honestly, so far I haven’t regretted it’, he commented as soon as he mentioned his father’s profession. 
You learnt that he lived on his own, and that on his ‘hardly existent time off’ as he put it, he enjoyed hanging out with his small group of friends, playing bocce, or going out to eat, or going out for drinks. “I’d say I’m a very simple man, princess. Boring, even”, he added with a chuckle. “But what about you, though? Other than, you know, the thing with your father… What do you do to keep yourself entertained? You’re adept in embroidery, right?”
You had told Chan in passing once when you were camping in the woods that you liked to embroider to keep your mind off of things, you were honestly surprised he remembered such a mundane detail. “I mean, I’m not sure if adept is the word to use, but yes. I’m fairly into needlework in general…”
You told Chan you enjoyed playing draughts, how you used to play it a lot with the maids that got close enough to you, or even with Queen Naeel when you two would meet. “I’d like to try new things though, things that I wasn’t allowed to do. See if I can find anything that brings me joy, I want to have fun…”
Your conversation flowed like this, smoothly, seamlessly. Slowly but surely peeling layers and layers of yourself and showing them to Chan, just as he did the same. It honestly felt almost the same as before, you had never truly been uncomfortable speaking with Chan, on the contrary, he was quite enjoyable to talk to, but now, with no barriers between you both, it all just felt… Easy, soothing.
By the time night fell you had found yourselves in a small town close to the base of the mountain. An excited ‘holy shit, hot springs!’ leaving Chan’s lips as soon as he spotted the many signs, and you couldn’t help the sigh of relief as he said it, the cold was truly not something you could withstand for much longer, so hot springs sounded like heaven at that moment.
As soon as your horses were secured and sheltered, you made your way to the attached inn, finding the attendant with ease for Chan to confidently ask for one room. Taking both of your belongings, he urged you to go to the hot springs, “you must be freezing. I’ll take these up, and we can meet later for supper once we’ve warmed up, yeah?” An offer you gladly took.
The warm water eased the tremors that had started to course through you when the sun was no longer providing any heat as you travelled. A couple of old ladies engaged in conversation with you while you bathed, their presence was comforting in a way, they were nice and provided you with some company as you scrubbed your body clean. But even if they were nice, you did try your best to keep your body underwater, or to always face in their direction, not wanting to attract too much attention to your back.
When you warmed up enough and felt clean enough, you made your way to the tavern area of the inn, ordering some drinks and securing a table by the corner. Chan joined you shortly after, with a towel still draped over his head and a bright smile on his face making his dimples pop and his eyes almost disappear into crescents, and you simply couldn’t help the flutter in your heart at the sight.
The food was surprisingly decent, better than the last few inns you had stayed at throughout your journey. You heard from the attendant that the place was quite popular among travellers, mostly due to the hot springs, and you could understand that completely. You and Chan took your time eating, and even after your food was finished, you stayed there for a while, a relaxed aura settling between you two as you simply enjoyed each other’s company, drinking, talking, flirting… 
However, as soon as you made it to your room, as soon as the door closed behind you two, it was almost comical how fast Chan made his move, pinning you to the closest wall he could find as his lips connected with yours, kissing you with force, with want. Gripping your thigh, he hiked it on his hip as one of his legs slotted between yours, his thigh adding just the tiniest bit of pressure against your heat, making you moan and whine against his mouth.
You liked kissing Chan, you truly did, but right now, as your hips rolled to get some stimulation from his thigh between your legs and both your hands and his held and groped anywhere they could on the other’s body, you just couldn’t wait anymore. So you untangled your legs from his and pushed him towards the bed as you continued to kiss.
With one final push on his shoulders, Chan sank, sitting on the edge of the bed for you to climb on his lap and straddle him, cupping his cheeks to pull his mouth to yours once again almost immediately after. He grunted as soon as you lowered yourself fully on his lap, his hands roaming your body, fondling your hips, your thighs, your back… All as you quickly worked the buttons of his shirt, swiftly unbuttoning each one so you could finally get a full feel of him.
“Don’t be alarmed…” Chan mumbled against your lips as soon as you unbuttoned the last button of his shirt.
You pulled back from his lips and looked him in the eyes. Chan looked almost… Apprehensive as you looked back at him. Slowly, you brought your hands into his open shirt, feeling his abs, his pecks, reaching his shoulders. You could feel his heated skin under your fingertips, every dip, every curve, but most importantly, you could feel every raised bump that seemingly didn’t belong there, and as soon as you slid the shirt off of his shoulders and moved your eyes from his to take in the sight of his bare skin, you understood why he had given you a warning, why he asked you to not be alarmed.
Chan was well built, broad, fair skinned, all defined muscles that flexed and relaxed under your touch, but by far the most distinctive feature of his physique, were the numerous scars littering his body. They were everywhere, on his chest, on his arms, his abs, you wouldn’t be surprised if they covered his back and his legs, too. Chan simply looked back at you, expectant as you took in his form. You’d lie if you say you weren’t surprised by the sight; sure, he had a scar on his face, but that paled in comparison now to the amount of scars on his torso. Deep, superficial, keloids, faint marks, it was all an assortment of different textures and shades of his skin tone and there was no way you could just… Not notice them.
Your hands moved, tentatively, slowly, tracing the many different shapes, feeling each of his intakes of breath with your touch. You didn’t know how long you sat there just touching him, but finally, you settled your palms on his pecks, shamelessly feeling him up as your eyes fixed on your hands and you tilted your head slightly to the side. “Chan, you… You’re really handsome”, you emphasised your words with a squeeze on his pecks, which made him huff an incredulous laugh. “I’m not alarmed”, you turned your gaze back up to meet his, looking him right in the eyes. “I’m just… Curious”.
Chan just hummed, his hands moving from your thighs to hold your hips. “I’ve been in a lot of… Altercations. Some related to my knighthood, some… Not so much”.
“Will you ever tell me the stories?” Removing your hands from his chest, you proceeded to unbutton your own shirt, slowly, leisurely flicking every single button open until you could finally shrug it off of you, leaving your torso completely exposed. 
“Only if you have a few hours to spare to listen to them”, Chan took in the sight of your bare chest, you could literally see the moment his eyes zeroed in on your breasts, growing impossibly darker. You’d let him have his fun, but there was something more important you wanted to do, or at least, to show him. So you took his hands from where they were fondling your hips, his hold relenting immediately as you brought them to your lower back, pressing his palms against your skin.
“Feel them”, was all you told him, a look of confusion crossed his face briefly, but his hands moved regardless, slowly moving up the expanse of your back, that look of confusion quickly replaced with that of shock, his eyes going wide and his eyebrows rising high in surprise, only to scrunch with concern right after. 
How could you be alarmed about something you yourself carried with you every day of your life, too? Chan’s fingertips traced every single dip, every single bump, every single scar on your back, all as he looked deeply into your eyes, all as you got lost in his eyes as well. “My father was a monster, but he wasn’t stupid. He’d only leave his mark where he knew no one else could see, not unless I let them see them, at least”, you offered, shuddering slightly under Chan’s featherlight touch.
You would usually hide your marks pretty well, always told your lovers you liked the thrill of getting intimate with clothes on, that it added a sense of obscenity to the entire thing. Truth was, you simply didn’t want to deal with the looks they could give you, or to explain anything to anyone, mostly out of fear of what would happen if you spoke up against your father. Chan already knew, though. He knew what you’d been through and he had shown you his own scars, so there was no point in hiding them, no point when you could see in his eyes no semblance of judgement or disgust towards you, if anything, all you could see was fire, burning brighter the longer he looked at you, the longer he explored and touched you.
In his exploration, his hand found the back of your head, pulling down to crash your lips with his. Chan’s kiss was urgent, loaded, all passion and fire overflowing into you with each grunt, each groan. His hands brought you closer, bare chest against bare chest sharing your warmth as your fingers threaded in that mess of brown curls of his, tugging him impossibly closer to you while your tongues pushed against one another. It was both suffocating and freeing, stealing the air out of your lungs while simultaneously filling you with life.
The second your hips started to move, grinding against his hardened length his grip on your body tightened, his hands roughly palming your thighs, your hips, your rear, anywhere he could reach without breaking the contact of your chest against his, almost as if he wished to continue enjoying that feeling of warmth of your bare skin against one another. 
You felt yourself moving, Chan’s hands keeping you firmly in place as he stood up and manoeuvred your bodies so you could lay on the bed with him on top of you, right between your legs. Pulling away from your lips, he rested his weight on his hands, looking down at you just as you looked up at him. He took his time, just scanning the features of your face for a while until his eyes moved, taking in the sight of your bare upper torso, his eyes moving almost frantically as if he didn’t know where to look first. And you let him, mostly because you were also doing the same, taking in his breathtaking features, taking in every bump on his skin.
“I haven’t done this in a while”.
Chan surprised you by saying that. He didn’t look particularly ashamed or bashful or anything, he just looked… Serious. And somehow, it made you chuckle. “Could’ve fooled me”.
“Don’t wanna fool you, though”, a smirk crept onto his lips as he lowered himself on his elbows. His lips found yours, one of his arms sneaking under your neck for you to rest on it as his opposite hand found your thigh, pulling you to him so you could hold onto him. Chan rolled his hips, letting you feel him, hard and warm right at the apex of your thighs, making you moan into his mouth. 
Suddenly, Chan moved, rolling to the side and moving your body along for you to now straddle his hips, the motion earning a surprised yelp from your lips. His mouth trailed open mouthed kisses from your lips, to your chin, your neck, your collarbones while his hands roamed your back, all as you shuddered under his touch.
“Good…” you gulped the saliva that had collected in your mouth, feeling as Chan’s lips finally found their way to your breasts, kissing everywhere but where you wanted him most. “Chan…” You didn’t mean to sound that needy, that urging, but that was how your call of his name came out, and honestly, you didn’t care if you sounded desperate, because you were.
“Shh, don’t be so impatient, princess. Let me enjoy you for a bit, there’s no need to hurry”, Chan mumbled against your skin as his hands came to cup your breasts, squishing them together to create the perfect space for him to dive his face into with an appreciative hum, his thumbs coming to graze your nipples, his touch so featherlight it was almost as if he was teasing you, giving you a small taste of what you could feel and it was steadily filling you with anticipation. 
A shaky gasp escaped your lips as you felt Chan’s lips suck on the tender skin of one of your breasts, leaving a purple mark right as he gently pinched both of your nipples between his fingers. “Is this okay?” his mouth barely even moved away from your skin as he talked, and you nodded, only for Chan to lightly tweak your nipples, the barely there stimulation sending a shiver down your spine. “Words, darling”.
“Yes…” You gulped, looking down at him right in the eyes as you spoke. “It’s–It’s okay”.
Chan simply hummed, satisfied with your answer. So his lips returned to your breasts, sucking purple roses on the delicate skin all as both of his hands worked in unison to tweak and twist and pinch your sensitive buds, the combined stimulation eliciting quiet moans to spill from your lips. You felt yourself heating up further the longer he spent working your chest, touching you, marking you, and it was right as you were close to begging that you finally felt his tongue, landing tentative swipes against one of your nipples for him to finally suck it into his mouth.
“Oh, that’s good…” your finger’s tangled in Chan’s hair, tugging the strands gently. Chan hummed, sneaking his free hand to your rear, holding one of your buttocks tightly as his mouth and his hand continued to work you up. You hadn’t realised you had started to move until you felt him buck up into you, your hips slowly grinding against his, feeling his hardened length against your core, providing you with that relief you’d been desperate for even with the fabric that still separated your flesh.
Chan’s hand on your rear tightened, almost urging you to move faster, to move harder against the outline of his cock, and the moment you felt his teeth graze the sensitive skin of your nipple you couldn’t help but do just that, moaning from all the different sensations that completely clouded your senses. His mouth on you, his hands on you, his hardness under you, all combined sent sparks of pleasure everywhere within you, kindling that fire in the pit of your stomach, burning brighter with each roll of your hips against him.
Once Chan was satisfied with his work on your nipple, his mouth moved to the other, his hands switching positions to continue with the same treatment as before, one holding your other breast, stimulating your nipple and the other gripping your rear as tight as he could. You knew you were too far gone the moment you looked him in the eyes again, seeing his lustful, almost greedy stare looking back at you with his lips attached to your breast, so your hips sped up, chasing that feeling that was building between your legs the more you ground yourself against his hardness, and before you knew it, you were coming, trembling as heat spread within every crevice of your body, as your mind clouded with only bliss and pleasure and Chan.
“Fuck, fuck, wait…” You mumbled, breathless, firmly tugging on Chan’s hair to get him to detach his mouth from your nipple. “Too much, sensitive…”
Chan chuckled softly, moving his mouth to press kisses on your neck as he removed his hand from your breast, too, moving it to join the other to fully cup your rear. “Enjoyed yourself?” His mouth found the skin behind your ear, pressing a kiss there, only to move along and take your earlobe between his teeth, tugging gently, making you swear under your breath with the action. “Couldn’t even wait, huh? Had to use me as your mount to get off?”
You simply shook your head, taking in deep breaths. “Couldn’t wait”, was all you said, completely shameless. “Not when you looked so good with my tits in your mouth”, your lips were on his in an instant, muffling Chan’s groan as you kissed him, relishing the taste of his tongue on yours and the tightening of his hold on your rear, whether the action was due to the motions of your kiss or the impact of your words, you didn’t know.
Resting your weight on your knees and separating your hips from Chan, your hands trailed down his torso until they found the waistband of his trousers. “Off”, you mumbled against Chan’s mouth, giving him enough space to manoeuvre and remove the offending piece of clothing, his underwear coming off with it, leaving him completely bare for your curious eyes to admire.
Just as you imagined, Chan’s legs were also covered in scars, of many different depths and shades, on his thighs, his shins, his calves, they were everywhere. You shuffled lower on Chan’s body, getting comfortable enough for your fingers to delicately trace each bump of raised skin they could, until finally, you moved your attention to his length, hard, pink, and pretty–especially so as precum pooled around the tip where it laid on his abdomen.
Chan was unmoving, propped on his elbows simply looking at you, the expression on his face somehow both lustful and relaxed as he let you explore him as much as you wanted, however you wanted.
“You’re staring”, there was a glint of amusement in Chan’s tone, highlighted by the smirk on his face and it made you look away from his cock to his face again.
Licking your lips, you regarded him with a smirk of your own. “What? Feeling shy?”
“With that look in your eyes? No, just feeling desired”, he said it so naturally, so unabashedly sure of it, you couldn’t help but chuckle.
The moment your fingers wrapped around his length, you could see his chest rise and fall as he took a deep breath. “Remember what you told me back at the campsite?” Your hand moved, slowly dragging up and down his length, focusing on his tip.
“I told you many things at the campsite, princess”, Chan licked his lips, his eyes jumping back and forth from looking at your hand working his cock and your face as you talked to him.
“You told me something… Something that made my mind wander…” Tightening your grip around him, you moved closer to his length, and you could’ve sworn Chan was holding his breath in anticipation. “Wanted to do this so bad, you have no idea”, with that, you replaced your hand with your mouth, finally, finally getting a taste of him.
A shaky breath and a loud ‘fuck!’ fell from Chan’s lips as soon as you took him into your mouth, as soon as he felt your tongue landing firm swipes against his frenulum and your lips dragging over his tip. You took your time, savouring him, building his pleasure as you kept a rhythm, aiding your movements with a hand on what you couldn’t fit in your mouth.
His jaw went slack, quiet groans and curses spilled freely from his mouth as Chan took in the sight of you working him up. One of his hands reached for you, moving your hair out of your face to keep it from obstructing his view, settling to caress your cheek after, his touch almost tender, a complete contrast to your lewd ministrations.
“Fuck, you do have a dirty mouth…”
You simply hummed around his length in response as you continued to move. With a deep breath, you took him further into your mouth, right to the back of your throat, making Chan close his eyes and throw his head back, biting on his bottom lip to muffle his groans. 
Wet, gagging sounds filled the room, joining Chan’s constant swearing and groaning and grunting, and the combination of that along with the feel of him in your mouth had your head spinning, had you all worked up and burning up as your inner walls clenched around nothing.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, you’re so good at this”, you felt Chan’s hands on your head, pulling you off of him as he quickly scrambled to get close to your mouth. “You’re too good at this, don’t wanna blow yet”, was all he said as he crashed his mouth on yours, savouring you, devouring you, all while tugging the waistband of your trousers and your underwear for you to finally take them off. Heat spread all over your face, blushing at his words, at his hands on your back, at his hands on your rear, at his tongue in your mouth.
“I want you…” Your back hit the mattress as Chan mumbled his words between kisses. His middle and ring finger found your dripping core, entering you with ease to rub against that exact spot within your walls that drove you up the wall, that exact spot that you yourself had shown him how to find, making you moan against his lips as he continued to ravish your mouth.
“I need you…” His fingers diligently worked you up, loosened you up, preparing you for him, all as your palm found his length, stroking him leisurely and your fingers tangled in his curls, tugging him even closer to you. It wasn’t enough, though. Not enough closeness, not enough fullness.
“Can I have you, princess? Hmm?” Chan pulled away from your lips, enough to look you in the eyes, to take in every single one of your features, your heavy lids, your slightly agape mouth, the way your brows furrowed as his fingers continued to pleasure you, to stretch you open.
“You have me, Chan…”
You missed his fingers within your walls and the weight of his cock in your hand immediately, the feeling soon replaced with anticipation as Chan took a hold of length and dragged his tip along your folds, coating himself in your essence. Chan looked into your eyes, looking for any signs of you wanting to back out, to stop this now. He clearly found none, if anything, all he got was you rolling your hips, enticing him, tempting him. So he moved, finally stuffing you full of him in one swift motion, eliciting a shared sigh of relief as soon as he was buried snugly within your walls.
You pulled him to you, wrapping your limbs around him and connecting your mouths almost desperately. Chan kept himself propped up on one of his forearms, with his hand holding your head in place and the other hand moving below you to find one of your buttocks, holding you tightly as he started to move. Gone was the Chan that wanted to take his time, to take it slow, the Chan that claimed there was no hurry. 
His hips collided with yours repeatedly, his pace steady, relentlessly pounding you to the mattress, his cock hitting just the right spot within your walls to get you moaning for him as soon as he started moving. You felt lightheaded, between his thrusts and his mouth on yours you could barely breathe, but it was hard to register it when all you could think about was how good this felt, how right it felt.
Chan’s lips moved away from your mouth, your moans now filling the room as he left wet, open mouthed kisses from your cheek all the way to your neck, whispering against your skin. “So good, fuck… You feel even better around my cock, shit…”
“Chan, please… Need to… Want to…” You could barely talk, but you tried anyway. You wanted your relief, you wanted to feel it while he was inside of you, you wanted him to feel it while he was inside of you.
The hold of your limbs around him relented, letting Chan pull himself away from your space to rest his weight on his heels. His thumb found your clit, the contact immediately sending that jolt of excitement up and down your spine. With one of your legs over his shoulder and you holding onto the other one to keep you spread open for him, he kept ramming into you, stealing the air out of your lungs with each thrust as his thumb rubbed your clit diligently, building your release and getting so, so, so close…
“You have no idea how much I’ve been wanting to see you like this”, Chan’s thumb sped up, looking you in the eyes as he spoke, panting slightly. “So pretty, just taking my cock so well, aren’t you? Is this what you wanted too, hm?” All you could do in response was frantically nod and continue to roll your hips to meet his thrusts. “Look at you, can’t even talk, fuck…”
You simply shook your head, reaching for his hand on your thigh. “Close…”
“Close?” Chan snapped his hips harder, faster, the movement of his thumb on your clit not stopping. “C’mon, princess. I got you…”
When you came, you came hard, a sob of his name falling from your lips as you held onto Chan’s hand on your thigh for dear life, his groan of appreciation almost going unnoticed as your mind went blank. “Fuck, fuck, princess… Such a good cunt… Feel so good around me, tight, warm, shit…”
Throwing your other leg over his shoulder as well, Chan moved impossibly faster, holding onto your hips tightly, chasing his own high. “So close…” His voice was barely a whisper, completely lost in the feeling of it all as he continued to indulge in your body, in the feel of your walls clenching around him, in the way your tits looked when they bounced with every single one of his movements against you.
Pulling out, Chan held his cock in his hand, wrapping his fingers around it and pumping himself to completion right on top of your lower belly with a groan. You couldn’t help but shiver at the feel of his warm seed on your body, a sensation that you immediately knew would plague your wettest dreams, along with the sounds that ran freely from his mouth.
Chan plopped down next to you, panting, breathless. Much like yourself, just trying to catch your breaths. Closing your eyes you set to enjoy the feelings coursing through your body, the ringing in your ears, the aches and the burns and the warmth, all pure bliss and satisfaction.
When you opened your eyes again and turned your head to the side you found Chan already looking at you, and, as if there had been some pulling force between you two, you found each other once again, your mouths sealed in a slow, passionate kiss.
“So much for taking your time…” You teased him as soon as he pulled away from the kiss, making him laugh.
“Couldn’t resist when you looked so good with my cock in your mouth”, Chan reached for his discarded shirt, using it to wipe the remnants of his climax from your body, dumping it on the floor right after.
Once he laid back down, he pulled you to him, holding you close to enjoy the post-coital bliss as one of his legs slotted between yours.
“We have a problem, princess”, Chan mumbled against your hair. 
Your hands traced patterns on his back as you cuddled, feeling the scars there, too. Humming in acknowledgement, you urged him to continue, trying your best to act as if those words hadn’t brought the tiniest drop of concern in your mind.
Chan’s arms held you tighter, humming as well until he finally spoke. “Against my better judgement, against all that is proper, I’m utterly smitten by you. How are you gonna take responsibility for that, huh princess?”
Pulling back from Chan’s chest you looked at him, at the teasing smile on his face coupled with the serious glint in his eyes, and you couldn’t help but chuckle, with a genuine smile on your lips. “I guess you’ll have to court me and find out”.
“You’d like that?” There was a tone of hopefulness in his voice, and it made you giddy. “I told you, I’m a boring man, darling. You’d get tired of me”. 
“I’d like that very much”, you pressed a kiss to his lips. “Besides, you’ve already marked me, you’ve got to take responsibility for these, too”, you gestured to your chest, to the numerous purple splotches Chan left behind, a sheepish smile appearing on his face as he looked at them.
Cupping your cheek, Chan looked you in the eyes for a bit, taking you in until finally he leaned in and kissed you again.
That night, even though you were both tired from the long journey, you both spent as much of your energy as you could just exploring each other, enjoying each other, until your bodies couldn’t keep up anymore. By the time the moon was at her highest in the sky you and Chan were already spent, so you simply held onto each other as sleep finally claimed you both.
When you woke up the next day, the light coming from the window was enough for you to infer it was close to midday, and slightly alarmed, you tapped on Chan’s arm that rested around your waist. “Chan… Chan… It’s morning already, we overslept”.
Chan simply grumbled, moving his hand to your ribs, right below your breast, tightening his hold on you as he buried his face in your hair and pressed his chest flush to your back. “And? It’s not like we’re camping, doesn’t matter if we sleep in…” He mumbled, clearly only half awake.
You immediately relaxed in his hold, you’d gotten so used to getting moving as soon as your eyes opened that it almost became a part of your routine, but Chan had a point, there was no hurry to move when you were staying at an inn like this. Taking a hold of the hand he had placed on your ribs, you moved it so you could place a kiss on his calloused palm. The action made Chan let out a satisfied sigh, moving as close as he could to you as you clutched his hand to your chest.
“Maybe…” Chan spoke again after a while, mumbling against your shoulder as he started to press kisses on your skin, making goosebumps raise under his touch. “Maybe we could even stay for another day… So we can, you know, recover from the long journey…”
Chan’s hand moved away from where you were holding it against your chest, softly caressing the skin of your abdomen, your belly, your thighs, reaching your bum only for him to squeeze one of your buttocks, making you chuckle. “What do you think, hmm?”
You pressed yourself further into him, feeling him already hard against your rear. “What’s one more day to a two month trip, right?”
“Exactly”.
You moved, and as soon as you were on your back Chan was already on top of you, kissing your neck, your chest, your nipples, your belly… Slowly, leisurely, he left kisses everywhere on your torso as his hands massaged your body, mumbling words of praise against your skin as he went ‘so beautiful, driving me fucking crazy…’ Until he finally found himself between your legs, making you shudder and tremble with his tongue, with his mouth, with his fingers… Certainly one of the best ‘lazy mornings’ you had spent in a long, long time.
You did rest that extra day in the inn, going into the hot springs, eating at the tavern… But admittedly, most of the time you were just in your shared room, all tangled limbs, sharing moans and groans and grunts, sharing your warmth, sharing your stories. And by the time you left the inn, hopped onto your horses, and continued with your journey, you realised that this is what real peace felt like. 
After a few weeks, after you saw the first of many banners signalling Queen Naeel’s territory, after many more stays in inns throughout her realm, after many days and nights spent just enjoying Chan’s company, you finally made it to your friend’s home. The second you stepped into her castle you were almost winded by the collision of her body against yours, holding you so tightly against her that you couldn’t help the tears that welled in your eyes. 
“You’re here…” Naeel sobbed against your shoulder, only to quickly pull herself away from you to hold you by the shoulders, her eyes frantically scanning the features of your face.
You couldn’t help but giggle, bringing her into a hug again, quiet tears spilling from your eyes as you held her in your arms. “I’m here… All thanks to you, and Chan, of course”.
“Oh, Channie!” Naeel removed herself from your embrace, jumping instead towards Chan who had been standing behind you, looking fondly at the reunion, his expression quickly changing to that of shock as Naeel hugged him tightly, too. “You did well, thank you, thank you”.
“Your… Your Majesty, please”, Chan cleared his throat, awkwardly patting Naeel on the back.
“Ah, right, physical contact, big no, no”, she regarded him with another smile, reaching for your hand to pull you closer to her. “I trust you two had a safe journey?���
“Nothing out of the ordinary, Your Majesty”, you had spent the last few weeks with the unfiltered, carefree Chan, it almost made you laugh to see him back into his Proper Knight mode. “Besides, Her Highness was an excellent companion all throughout”.
“Oh? Was she?” Naeel looked back at you, with a glint of something in her eyes, something insufferable you were surely going to have to deal with as soon as you two were on your own.
Chan just hummed in response, adding a “if that’s all for now, I’ll be taking my leave, Your Majesty. I’m sure you two would like to catch up”.
“Yes, yes. You’re dismissed, Channie. Take a week off, or two, or three, as you see fit, you deserve it”, with a couple of pats on Chan’s shoulders, Naeel pulled herself away from his space, coming instead to your side and slinging an arm over your shoulder, pulling you tight against her side, making you smile.
“Your Majesty”, Chan bowed his head towards Naeel, then turned to you, offering his hand. “Your Highness”, you placed your hand in his, and felt heat creep on your face as he brought it to his face, placing a soft kiss on your knuckles, regarding you with a warm smile and an even warmer look in his eyes. “I’ll see you soon”.
With that, he left, leaving you a blushing mess. A blushing mess as if you had not let him fuck you for days on end.
Naeel quickly took you to the courtyard, her attendants bringing you cakes and biscuits and tea for you to spend the afternoon in a resting area that was clearly just set there for her to relax in. “So, how was the trip?” Bending at the waist, she expertly tied the anklet you had given back to her around her ankle, once again matching with you as you still wore yours religiously.
“Not that bad…” You commented as you chewed the sugary treats. Speaking with your mouth full would’ve surely earned you an angry slap from your father, but he wasn’t here, he was hopefully no longer in your life, so you could be as free as you wanted, knowing that Naeel wouldn’t judge you, if anything, she was just like you. “Compared to, you know, living with my father, it was rather enjoyable I’d say”.
Humming softly, Naeel took a sip of her tea. “And Chan?”
“Chan… Chan’s nice. Really… Really nice”, you took a sip of your tea as well, trying to hide from your friend’s inquiring eyes as she looked at you.
“He is! Just a bit too stoic sometimes”, she chuckled, reaching for a biscuit. “I was hoping he would loosen up a bit with this trip. He’s one of my best knights, but he needs to relax, to detach from work a bit. I hope he managed to distract himself”.
Your mind quickly filled with memories of the nights you and Chan shared, in the mountains, in the inns, in your campsites… You could almost feel the phantom of his touch on your skin, and it was heating you up way too quickly. “I think he… He did loosen up a bit. Or that’s how it seems to me”.
“Mmm”, Naeel gave you an inquisitive look. “You’re quite feisty, and he likes that sort of thing, so I sure hope you gave him a hard time and got him a bit out of his element…”
You stared at your friend, blinking. It dawned on you then, why your friend chose him for the task, why she sent Chan to get you, and your jaw would’ve hit the floor if it hadn’t been attached to your face. She was playing matchmaker. She had not only rescued you, but she was trying to get you laid. “You sent Chan with intent! You sent him specifically on purpose!”
“Of course I did!” Naeel laughed, loudly. “I knew you’d like him, and judging by the way you were looking at him I was right! And I was sure he’d like you, too. Haven’t seen him smile as bright as he did when you guys parted earlier!”
“Naeel, dear…” You couldn’t help but scoff a laugh, utterly baffled. “I love you so, so much. You’re nuts”.
“You know me well, my dear. And I love you, too”, Naeel’s smile couldn’t have been any brighter, and it warmed you up. You truly, truly loved your friend deeply, even if she was a bit nuts. “So, does that mean that you guys got acquainted with one another as I hoped?”
You looked at her for a moment, completely silent, your face going dead serious, which made a look of worry flash on her face. Until you couldn’t stop the smile that crept onto your lips. Slowly, you unbuttoned the first few buttons of your shirt, showing Naeel the purple marks on your chest, the marks that Chan had not let fade since the moment he first pressed his mouth on your chest, the marks he left time and time again, making Naeel gasp and bring her hands to her mouth.
“Oh, wow!” Throwing her head back she laughed again, lightly kicking her feet. “I’m a fucking genius! I should be crowned again, Queen of Matchmaking!”
You couldn’t help but laugh with her, reaching for your cup of tea. “I can’t believe you, Naeel…”
Figuring out the logistics of you staying with Naeel was easy. You didn’t want to live at the castle, it reminded you too much of your old life, and you also didn’t want to be pampered anymore. You wanted a new beginning, a different life to that you had known, so your friend helped you settle, giving you a humble house in the castle town and offering you a job as a royal seamstress within her already established team ‘I’ve seen your work, and I’d love to have you design things for me!’. It was a privilege not many could have, and you were aware of it, so you took the offer. If your friend believed in you and your abilities, why wouldn’t you believe in yourself for the task?
Your new home was cosy, just big enough for one person, with enough space for your few belongings. You thought you’d have a hard time your first night there, but it was surprisingly easy for you to fall asleep there. Almost as if your body knew there was no danger, as if it knew you could finally rest.
For your first few days there you didn’t see Chan. You didn’t know where he lived, and you hadn’t had the time to ask Naeel about it, so you settled for waiting until you could run into him, and although there was a part of you that knew he would come looking for you, there was still a part of you that worried he might’ve decided you were not worth his time anymore. That was, until you heard a knock on your door and you opened it to find the man standing right there at your doorstep, with a small bouquet of flowers in his hand.
“Her Majesty told me where you were staying”, he had a sheepish smile on his face, shyly handing you the bouquet, and you couldn’t help the smile that made its way onto your face as you took it. “I was hoping to… To maybe show you around?”
“I’d like that”, stepping into his space, you leaned in, pressing a soft kiss on his lips as your front door closed behind you.
One of Chan’s hands found your waist, pulling you closer to him with an appreciative hum as the other held the back of your head, angling you a bit so he could deepen the kiss. You didn’t care if anyone saw you, just like he also didn’t seem to care, if anything, he held you in his arms confidently, and it made you chuckle against his lips. “I take it you’re no longer conflicted about your feelings for me?”
Chan simply shook his head, removing his hands from your frame so he could link your arm with his and pull you along to walk down the street. “It’s too late for that, princess”.
“Ah, but you’re still calling me princess?” There was no ill intent in your voice, if anything, only a bit of a teasing tone.
“Of course! You are my princess, after all. Are you not, darling?”
You couldn’t help but laugh, tightening your hold on his arm as you continued to walk with him, following him anywhere he pulled you to. “Then I’ll be your princess, and yours only”.
Chan simply smiled at you, one of those smiles that made his face light up, his dimples pop and his eyes disappear, and as usual, you couldn’t help the flutter of your heart at the sight. You didn’t feel like a princess anymore, not like a real one at least, but the switch from it being a title, a title that had only meant pain in your life, to it being a term of endearment, a term used by Chan and only Chan, helped you cope, and you hoped that, in due time, you could finally fully heal.
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© therhythmafterthesummer 2022-2023. all rights reserved. do not repost or translate my stories.
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SFW version ::: Dating THE fucking Katsuki Bakugo
Part II (NSFW version ::: Dating THE fucking Katsuki Bakugo)
A/N ::: I'm absolutely feral delulu (god I hate that word but it's really all that can describe accurately how insane I am) for Katsuki right now.
C/W SFW ::: Brief language. Sweet Katsuki on date with ChubbyF!reader // you // y/n, new relationship, testing the waters, sweet Katsuki. Sorry. Had to say it twice. Soft touches here and there, sweet kisses. NSFW stuff will be posted soon.
I edited this many many many many times. So if I missed anything gross, lmk.
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Thinking about a fourth date with Katsuki that goes really, really well.
He picks you up in his Black Jeep that has green and orange interior (yeah, it sure does). It's a stick, too. And the gear shifter cap is a custom made piece; a black grenade. Anyway, he gets to your house and walks up to the front door wearing those fucking sexy ankle pants that fit him just perfectly. And a long sleeved polo shirt with that little alligator on it. The collar is popped up around his neck. Not because it's cold or anything. He was told by a friend of a friend of yours that you thought it was incredibly sexy that he wears it like that. Too bad his friend was fucking with him, though. You don't think it's unsexy. But you do have a hard time taking your eyes off of it. Just wondering why he wears it like that.
He holds his arm out for you as you open the door of your place and see him standing there. Looking all sorts of frickin’ handsome. You take his arm with your much smaller hand and he stops for a second to double-check your door is locked up tight. He smiles and tells you that you can never be too sure. There's a lot of crazies nowadays. It warms your heart at how considerate he is about your safety. I mean, he IS a hero. It's kind of second nature for him to be like that. But it's still sweet, though.
You're walking to his Jeep and he opens the door for you and holds your purse while you buckle up. He makes sure your feet are inside the vehicle so he doesn't slam the door on your freshly painted toenails. He'd feel like an absolute asshole if that happened. Like, how do you come back from something like that when you're just starting out dating? Nah, he knows better. He makes his way around to the driver's side, still holding your purse. He hops in, he doesn't climb in. He's so damn tall that his legs allow him to ease his sweet, tight little ass right onto the seat. Handing you your purse, he buckles up too.
His feet get into position; on the clutch and the brake, and he starts it up. The radio was on. From what you heard, it sounded like a motivational/self-help thing. You heard the words 'believe in yourself and you can accomplish anything. You … deserve to be loved, too.' He moved to turn it off so fast that it looked like he was beating it up. 
You put your hands on him. One on his shoulder, the other on his thigh, and leaned over to give him a single, self-denying kiss on the cheek. He smiled at you and you know his eyes were screaming thank you for not saying anything about this.
On the drive to the restaurant, he asked you about your week. It was hard to catch up with him throughout the week sometimes. He has a busy schedule. Still, you appreciated him asking you about how yours was. You talked about how quickly the time went by and how happy you were about that because you were looking forward to your date with him tonight.
He looked over at you at a red light and put his right hand on your thigh and gave the fat on it a tight squeeze. Your skin filled out nicely in his hand. The light turned green and you immediately  missed his fingers digging into your flesh as soon as he put them back on the shifter. It was just nice to feel his touch after not seeing him for 5 days. Though you talked, it wasn't the same as being with him.
The restaurant he's taking you to for dinner has valet parking. He pulled up to the front and tossed his keys to the valet like some kind of cool guy. It made you giggle. You saw him slip a $20 to the kid as he pulled them in close and told them if they so much as got an extra speck of dirt on his Jeep he was going to rip them a new asshole via their belly button. The kid looked at you and all you could do was shrug your shoulders at them and flatten your lips, nodding.
Katsuki walked around to your side again and stuck his elbow out for you to take. You proudly took it and the two of you walked into the restaurant and were blown away by the fanciness of it. Like, ballgown/tuxedo fancy. You looked at each other and the back at the space around you. Slowly backing away, you asked him what happened. He said he didn't know. Nothing was mentioned about super dress code attire and how do you feel about getting something on the pier?
Honestly, you didn't care if you had to eat peanut butter and jelly in a back alley with a decomposing body. You really just wanted to be with him right now. Though you reconsidered the decomposing body and swapped it for a huge dumpster.
The valet brought his Jeep back. Scratch free, and you two did the whole door dance and he drove down to the water. The lights along the walk were beautiful. Soft and white. It made his usually sharp features fuzzy and warm. You couldn't stop looking at him. At his lips. You wanted him to kiss you. Just one. Nothing too heavy. 
As luck would have it, he caught you looking at him when you thought you were being sly. Without saying a word, he cupped your cheek in his hand and leaned down to give you the one, sweet kiss you had been craving since you last were together.
It left your cheeks red, blood hot, and your body dizzy. Your eyes fluttered at the gentle gesture. He let his lips hover just out of reach for a few seconds afterward. You wondered if he was testing the waters. To see if you'd lean in for more. And oh my god, you wanted to. You wanted to kiss him everywhere. But as this was only your fourth date, you managed some self-restraint. Though you'll never know how you did. He looked so sexy tonight. He looked so sexy every time you saw him. 
The two of you made you way down the walk to some vendors and he ordered for the both of you. Some noodles and toppings you've never tried before. They were so good. You enjoyed your time there with him more than you would have at some stuffy old, high maintenance restaurant. He offered to get you a dessert but you declined.
That set him off. "You not eatin' in front of me or some shit like that? Goddamn it, you're sexy as hell. EAT SOME DESSERT!" But you told him you were still full from dinner and you'd love some dessert later. He blushed at his overreaction. You blushed, too. But for an entirely different reason.
A little later into the walk, you took a chance and reached out for his hand, taking it into your own. His palm was sweaty, and he apologized for being a little nervous. He doesn't date - like, ever. Except for you and it's still so new that everything is just a bit scary. Despite his sweaty hand, you held it anyway and laid your head against his bicep as the two of you walked further down the pier to look out over the water.
You walked all the way out to the end and leaned over the railing, dropping a few pebbles into the water that you'd picked up along the way.
"Be careful, don't fall in dum- I mean, just be careful." He almost called you a dumbass but he caught himself. It's an adjustment being around you. One that he's growing to like more and more the longer this almost ruined date goes on.
"I won't fall in," you laughed. "And even if I do, I have the best hero there is to rescue me." You blew him a kiss after you said that and he started toward you, catching it.
"I think you lost something, just now, miss. Does this belong to you?" He put his arms on either side of you and leaned over to kiss your cheeks. So. Softly. You found yourself leaning into him just to get more pressure from his lips. Pulling his head back, he looked at you. Bright red eyes looked over your face to read your expression.
"I didn't lose it, I gave it to you. 'Dumbass'." Smirking, you reached up and brushed the hair away from his forehead. "You're getting a little long up here. I've never seen - um, well, I like it either way."
Tilting his head quizzically to the left he held his breath for a second. "You've never seen ... what? You've never seen my hair this long? How long you been watchin' me, woman?" Katsuki put his hands in his pockets and kicked his feet like you told him he was the most handsome, brilliant man on the planet. 
He thinks so, so why not?
It was adorable to watch him, THE Katsuki Bakugo, squirm. And no, you weren't going to let it slide.
"Yeah, ok. So what? I watch - tuh (sounds like watched but you broke the word apart so he wouldn’t hear you openly admit you had been watching him) you. I have watched you, throughout your career. Ok, ok. God! Twist my arm. I look for things about you. Updates ... and ... well, stuff. Ok? I - I've car- been interested in you for some time." You rolled your eyes. "Are you happy now? You got me to spill my g- mmm!"
Katsuki was in front of you in no time. Kissing you before his feet had even stopped moving. His hands rest gently against the deep curve of your waist. He bent at the knees so he could be a little more face-to-face with you. You're still about 6 inches shorter than he is so the kiss had you standing on your tiptoes.
It made you feel like you were in a movie; The tall handsome blonde Pro Hero bending over to kiss the shorter (hair color) haired girl in the flowing dress at the end of the pier built out over the water. The sunset behind you seemed too overkill until the rain-pregnant clouds drowned it out, if you were being honest. But this had been the perfect evening.
Even when it started to pour down rain it was like you had been caught up in a romantic monsoon. It was a full 5 minutes that you stood there. Lip locked. Hands wondering. Hands wandering. It was one of the first instances in your life that everything slowed down. Your first slow-mo moment. And you couldn't have asked for it to be with anyone else than Katsuki. 
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Taglist ::: @darkstarlight82 @arlerts-angel @millennialmagicalgirl
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