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wonwhomps · 4 years

Text

Warming You Up

➻ Warnings: Language // Mentions of blood // Scientific, criminology and medical inaccuracies

➻ Words: 10.1k

➻ Genre: Angst // Romance // Humor

➻ Pairings: Jeon Wonwoo x Female Reader

➻ Summary: Heart is freezing. Arm is bleeding. You yearn for warmth. He needs to heal. Are you each other’s cure? You need to hold on.

She looked pretty.

She's beautiful.

Woah, what's her diet?

It's nothing new hearing whispers about how intimidating you look, how good you look, and how perfect you are. Little did they know, behind this face is a person longing for a warm embrace. You craved for love and even if you know it won't work, you're doing everything to make it last. You're cold inside and you badly wanted to make it warm, sacrificing everything you worked hard for.

Wearing a red turtleneck partnered with black jeans, a black 3-inch heels, and a black dress coat that protects you from the cold wind, you made your way to the place where your recent relationship started—the park.

It's illuminated with fairy lights stringed at every tree branches, fireflies are also flying around the place making it seem more magical than it already is, but you know more than that. This is not a magical moment every kid dreamed of. This is about facing the reality that you keep on denying for about 2 months now.

You held the strap of your black shoulder bag tightly and inhaled sharply as the silhouette of your boyfriend approaches you. You stood still until he reaches you.

You could see his breath vapor as he sighed in front of you. It's cold.

Before he could even open his mouth to say something, you held his hands and started sobbing. "S-stay, please."

He clicked his tongue. "So it's true, you're going to give everything just to make your boyfriend stay. You must be out of your mind," said your boyfriend before he harshly tugged his hands back out of your hold.

You felt your heart freeze. No.

You tried to think of other things to say to make him stay even just for another day. You don't want to feel cold again. Being with him helped you feel a glimpse of the one you craved—warmth. It's not enough to make you feel completely warm but you had no other choice.

Cold wind is gushing by making you shiver more than you already are. Your heart is shouting and begging to feel warmth. It's slowly starting to make your legs weak causing you to place your hand on his arm for support but he thinks otherwise. He jerked your hand off of his arm making you stumble and fall on the cold ground.

"We're done here. I only dated you for sex anyway and you didn't even give me a taste. How could you ask me for staying when you couldn't even give me what I want."

You shake your head. "N-no, don't leave me. I--", you held your chest tightly hoping it would help ease the ache it gives. "U-use m-me..."

He looked over you with disgust. "You need help," is what he said before he left you shivering and hurt on the cold floor.

Thump.

Your heart is slowly killing you. You didn't understand how weak you are every time this things happen. You felt small and you hate it. It seems like you've ran out of tears, you wanted to cry but you can't.

Fireflies are flying over your head. You tried reaching one, letting your hand stay mid-air. Thoughts filled in your mind like if you have died earlier, none of this would have happened and that you won't feel any more pain. If only you didn't wish for another life you could've been by your mother's side right now. But you wished. You lived. You hurt. You're cold. "I-i am cold," you said trying to hug yourself to warm your freezing body. You looked up in the sky and there you saw the first snow fall of the year. You didn't even bother standing up, you gave up.

You're running out of breath until you felt a pair of arms wrapping you with a warm cloth that you think belongs to the person in front of you. You heard them sigh. "Miss, are you here because you want to suffer hypothermia? It's freezing out here what were you thinking?" You looked up to see a handsome man maybe around the same age as you, but what caught you off-guard is how close your faces are. You looked away out of embarrassment. You heard him clear his throat. "Let me take you to the nearest hospital, you look awful."

Surprised, you looked back at him and saw him staring at you raising an eye brow. That's the first time you ever heard someone say you're awful. You didn't feel insulted at all.

He stood up, dusting off the snow on his pants before offering his hand to help you stand up. However, you just looked on his hand because you can't even move your hands at this point. "What? You can't stand?," he said. You shook your head slowly. He huffed before kneeling down. He placed his arm around your back and hoisted you up so that he can place another arm around your knee before completely lifting you up. You automatically encircled your arms around his shoulders for support.

You heard him mutter a curse. "Looks can definitely kill," he said before heading to the hospital which happens to be just around the corner. He tried starting a conversation with you but you feel light-headed and it seems like for every second passing by, you're slowly losing your consciousness.

He felt your head fall on his chest and he lets out a sigh of relief when he reached the hospital just in time. Nurses motioned him to place you on the bed and they started checking your vitals. They gave you IV fluids to replenish the amount of water your body had lost.

"The patient worked herself up. She needs to be given IV fluids because she's dehydrated. I suggest to stay by her side for a moment because this kid right here has Trypanophobia."

He looked at the doctor. "How did you know she's afraid of injections?"

"Y/n's always here for the same reason," the doctor pats his shoulder before leaving.

He went to the nurses' desk and told them he would be back. He went out to find a convenience store to buy some food. While waiting in line to pay, he remembered seeing you getting busted by your boyfriend, he thought. How could a man like him leave a lady like her? What a jerk. He was back to reality when someone tapped his shoulder.

"Uhm... H-hi! Could we take a picture?"

He raised an eye brow before saying, "Uh, no sorry." After that, he paid what he bought and went straight back to the hospital. He waved a hand to the nurses before entering your room just to see you staring right at him.

"I thought you have Trypanophobia? Did you panic when you saw the needles?," he asked while you still stare directly at him.

"Yeah, I did. I shouted... Ah!," you said sarcastically. You heard him snickered then you realized this man beside you is a complete stranger but it doesn't feel awkward at all. Clearing your throat, "What's your name?," you asked.

He sat on the stool beside your bed and showed you a paper bag full of edible foods. "I figured you wouldn't want to eat hospital food. Here you go, Y/n! Eat the sandwich first while it's still warm.

Hearing your name, you looked at him confused. You raised an eye brow, indirectly asking the question to how did he know your name, which he immediately caught and proudly answered, "I just know," with a smirk curving in his lips. "Eat it up, you look indecent and a living dead," he said while unwrapping the sandwich before handing it over to you.

You took it and slowly munch on it. You feel uncomfortable since he's just staring at you while you're trying to feed yourself with a sandwich. "You eat like a hamster. You're now a zombie hamster," he said while trying his best not to laugh in which you returned with a deadly glare. He stopped laughing and motioned you to continue eating. "By the way, you owe me. I ditched my friends tonight because I pity seeing you freezing to death outside. I am a very helpful person that's why and being handsome just adds up to it," he said.

He saw you rolled your eyes and that made him smile. "You're too full of yourself, you didn't even answer my question earlier. I'll only believe you know everything if you give me a valid answer." He tilted his head while looking at you.

"I know it. It's written in my blood."

Silence filled the room. Only the sound of the AC is heard and you just stared at him, totally confused. "You're joking, right?"

He shrugged, "Yeah, probably."

He accompanied you for an hour until he has to bid farewell and call it a night. You did not know he already left since you were sound asleep and he didn't want to wake you up from your rest so he left silently, leaving a piece of note on the bedside cabinet.

I hope we meet again zombie hamster. , Wonwoo The next morning, you were discharged and you paid your hospital bills. A nurse handed you your things that are placed on the cabinet including a piece of paper that you just tossed inside your shoulder bag.

"Y/n, I hope you never come back here. It's not that we don't want to see you, but knowing that you're here only means that you're sick and you need medication. Start thinking about yourself for once and set aside the unnecessary things. Don't let your heart control you, fight it."

You flashed a small smile and nodded at Dr. Yoon. He is right, I should think about myself for once but am I not taking care of myself since I only did these things to help my freezing heart? Before leaving you gave them a smile and waved your hand to them. You hailed a cab and gave them your address. You just want to take a bath and lay down on your bed all day wearing your favorite pajamas, watching Netflix while eating bananas.

Wonwoo woke up from a deep sleep while catching his breath. He looked over at his blanket feeling something wet.

"Shit!"

It happened again, he thought. Rushing to his bathroom, he carefully folded his bloody long sleeves revealing a written statement with his blood on his arm. He muttered a curse from the pain while reading it. He positioned his affected arm at the sink and slowly cleans it, wincing from the pain.

He washed his face afterwards and faced the mirror. He attempted to steady his breathing but he failed. He quickly went back to his bedroom, discarding the stained blanket on the laundry and grabbing his notebook and a pen.

'xxxx cafe'

It has been 3 weeks since his first encounter with you, 2 months since his blood wrote your name and a month since he discovered you were somewhat related to his life. In his notebook, a list of the things his blood wrote on his arm was noted. From your name down to the places you might go, he don't know the real reason behind those places but when he found you at the park, it gave him a hint that these are the places you will fall or experience pains.

It's snowing heavily but you still have to go outside to meet your client and talk about the designs they want for their house. You prepared your things and wore a white formal sweater partnered with denim jeans and black boots ending just below your knees. You took a bite on your sandwich and grabbed your dress jacket before leaving.

You arrived at the cafe your client suggested and started to look for them. You received a text message that they will arrive a bit late because of traffic so you sat on the corner of the cafe while scanning their menu.

You felt a presence in front of you and before looking up a glass of water was splashed right on your face.

"Fuck you! So you're the one my husband will meet today even if it's snowing real hard. Stop being a bitch and how dare you seduce a married man!?"

You were running out of breath as you look into the woman's eyes. You felt your chest tightened. You don't know what is she talking about. You didn't seduce anyone, you are here to meet a client not a married man. The woman didn't get satisfied with just splashing you a glass of water. She went near you and grabbed your hair, forcing you to look up. "M-ma'am, you're hurting me. Please, stop." You tried removing her hand but she grabbed it even tighter making you cry in pain.

She kept yelling about how fucked up you are seducing his husband and being a desperate woman who just wants to be fucked. The customers inside the cafe just stared at you in disgust, believing all the lies this woman is saying.

"No wonder she looked rich and pretty, she must have been seducing every rich man to make her way up."

Hearing all those whispers, your heart started clenching and a tint of coldness once again sparked. You didn't know where to focus, to your heart or to her hand grabbing your hair. The cafe's door opened and a man entered making his way to your direction.

"He is probably the husband."

They were right. The man took off his wife's hand off of you and gave you an apologetic smile for causing you trouble. Your heart is beating faster than normal and makes it even harder to breathe. You tried asking for help but they didn't even bother asking you what's wrong.

They are so quick to judge.

You started feeling light-headed and you could feel your heart slowly freezing. You whispered a curse. Holding your chest tightly, you tried to stand up but your legs suddenly became weak causing you to fall on the wooden floor. Customers looked over you, some gasped and looked surprised but some didn't bother looking at all. You tugged your jacket in your body hoping it would help make your heart feel warmth but it didn't. You once again called out for help, but no one even budge. If my heart will completely freeze I wish to hug my soulmate even if it's our first and last, you thought.

Wonwoo was caught up in a company meeting. He was anxious the whole time that he didn't even understand a thing. He checked his wrist watch and a sigh of relief escaped his lips because there's only 2 minutes left before the meeting is adjourned.

He didn't even bother removing his glasses as he made his way to the cafe he saw earlier on his arm. It was just a walking distance from their building. He didn't know why but he felt like running, so he did.

He reached the cafe while catching his breath. He saw something weird, customers were all looking to the left corner of the cafe and whispering some things. Looking at where the rest was eyeing, he recognized it was you. He ran quickly to you and hugged your trembling body on the floor. He hears your muffled sobs as you try to ease the pain your heart is giving you.

"Shh... Y/n, it's okay. I'm here now. Shh..." he said trying to calm you down.

He placed his head above yours and tightly hugged you as you still tremble. You were freezing, he was sure of that.

Before he came you could feel it. Your heart was almost fully frozen. It aches so bad you can't even cry and what hurts more is that the people around you didn't even bother helping you. But when he came, you were confused. Why does it feel warm? Where is this warmth coming from? His embrace made you calm and helped you even out your breathing. He continued hugging you until he felt your body relaxing. He made you face him. "Let's get you out of here," he said and you just nodded in response.

Wonwoo decided to bring you to his house after he noticed that your clothes are wet. You were already shivering from the cold so wearing wet clothes will just worsen it. He motioned you to sit down on the sofa while he grabs one of his shirts to replace your wet sweater. You explored your eyes around his living area and you could say that he's a very clean person and he's got the nice choice of set of furniture and designs in his home. You saw a frame with him on it and the woman beside him is his mother, you assumed and capsule caught your attention. It was placed on the coffee table beside the frame. You were about to get it but you heard him clear his throat that made you startle.

"H-here you go. The bathroom's over there," he said trying his best not to look at you, pointing his finger to where the bathroom is located. You get the shirt from his hand and followed the direction of his finger pointing to his bathroom.

Entering the bathroom, you gaped when you faced the mirror. "That's why he wasn't looking at me," you whispered while looking at yourself. Due to the water that was thrown at you, your bra was showing through your wet sweater. You quickly changed your sweater to his gray shirt that ends on your thighs, making it looked like you were wearing a short dress shirt.

Wonwoo prepared two cups of coffee while you change your clothes. He couldn't help but blush when he saw you at the living room earlier. "Fuck you," he whispered for himself. He didn't know he was already pouring the hot water on the wrong direction until you guided his hand on the cup and said, "Cup's over here." And that time Wonwoo swore time has stopped. He was startled by your sudden appearance.

You sat on the chair and placed your elbows at the table while you admire his back. You saw him stir the coffee before placing it in front of you and sat opposite you. You clutch the mug to feel the warmth of the coffee.

"I wanted to ask you if you're alright, but I already have an answer to that. So, do you want to talk it out?," he cleared his throat and sipped on his coffee.

"It's weird. I actually thought it's the end for me earlier," you sighed. "I'm there to meet a client but an enraged woman confronted me instead." You looked into his eyes.

"It's been a while, Wonwoo."

He almost choked on his coffee when you said his name. "I thought you wouldn't see the note I left at the hospital. Glad to meet you again," he gave you a small smile.

The room was silent until you said something. "Could I tell you something? I haven't told anyone of this and I feel comfortable with you, that's why."

Wonwoo nodded, "I'm all ears."

You didn't want to continue at first but you eventually started talking. "I... I have a freezing heart. Whenever I feel weak and defeated, I could feel it's slowly beginning to freeze. I have suffered from it ever since the day my mother died and lately, I figured having a companion helps it feel warm enough to stop it from completely freezing," you placed your hand on your chest, "But earlier it was thawed and I feel warm," you looked down. You were confused and tried to figure out what happened earlier but you can't.

"The reason why I always look for a lover is because I want to survive. I couldn't live the life I wanted because of this heart. I didn't ask for having too many relationships, but it's the only way I would live."

Wonwoo just stared at you while listening to your words. So that's why he saw you at the park that night, you were completely shivering. If he arrived behind time, it would've been too late. Speaking of time, Wonwoo realized that it's already past their noon break. He asked you if you wanted to go home so he would hail a cab. "Could I stay for awhile?," you asked which made him stilled. Wonwoo nodded and made his way to the front door. "There are snacks in the cupboard!," is what he said before closing the door.

You stood up and washed the mugs before heading back to the living room. There are 2 more doors near the bathroom and you assumed are his room and a guest room. You sat down and leaned back on the sofa and pondered for a bit. "Sooner or later I have to find him again. Miracles like this won't always happen," you said to yourself while holding your chest.

You have slept on the sofa for an hour and when you looked at the clock it's already 4 o'clock. You remembered Wonwoo mentioned there are snacks in the cupboard, so you went and started searching for food. You also checked his fridge and found ingredients for soup. You're not the best at cooking, but you still want to make him food as a way to say thank you for letting you rest in his place.

When Wonwoo entered the house, his stomach rumbles from the aroma of your dish. "You didn't have to, you know," he said approaching you before sitting on the island chair. You scooped a soup and placed it on a bowl before giving it to him, "I wanted to cook for you to say thanks." He gladly accepted it and silently started eating it. "Why aren't you eating?"

"I already ate a little and I was just waiting for you so I could say that I'm going home," you said before drinking a water. Wonwoo quickly finished his soup, "Let me take you home."

You just nodded in response. It wasn't that far for you to take a cab home but Wonwoo insisted to ride a cab since it was snowing hard. Inside the cab, you just stare at the window and watched the snow fall. Wonwoo, however, was lost in thought.

Earlier at their office, his arm started bleeding again so he immediately went to the comfort room and looked at it to read the written words, but there's nothing being written. It just bled for no reason. His heart was beating fast and he didn't know what was happening. Normally, his arm would bleed because something is being written related about you, but there was none. He yelped in pain when water touched his arm.

"We're here."

Wonwoo looked over you and saw you unbuckling your seatbelt. He raised an eye brow. "I said we have arrived," you said to him before taking your wallet to pay the cab. Wonwoo got his wallet quickly and paid it before you. You were about to contest but he cut you off.

"Go inside now, don't forget to wear warm clothes," he pat your head, "We'll meet again, Y/n."

You didn't know why but your cheeks have flushed red when he pat your head. You thought it's maybe because of the cold.

Before going back home, Wonwoo dropped by a pharmacy and bought medicine. He felt like he's losing so much blood just from today's events. He would still figure out the reason behind his bleeding earlier. "There's nothing written, it's just bleeding," he whispered to himself.

You laid in bed and just stare at your ceiling. Holding your chest, how you wish you would always get lucky for having a warm heart instead of freezing one. A sigh escaped your lips before closing your eyes and dozing off to sleep.

You feel at ease when you didn't experience any signs of your illness for almost a week. Things were running smoothly and you're genuinely happy to yourself. Walking down the road, you stopped by a bakery and bought different types of pastries. You spared your day-off to pay a visit at the hospital because it's already been a month and every time you came here over and over again for the same reason, you became close with almost everyone working there.

You entered the building and you head straight to the reception area where you saw Dr. Lee signing some papers. The nurses noticed you and immediately gave you a smile and a wave that caught Dr. Yoon's attention. "Good morning. Good morning, Dr. Yoon!," you said with a grin while you placed the pastries on the reception table. "It's Jeonghan for you, you're here not as our patient anyway," said Dr. Yoon while his eyes formed a smile when he saw the foods you bought.

"Guys, get some! I dropped by the bakery before going here. It must've been a bit surprising seeing me visit with no intentions of getting medical help," you laughed.

The nurses and Dr. Yoon looked over you. "We're proud, don't worry," Dr. Yoon smiled. "How's your heart? Still freezing?"

Remembering how it didn't give any signs of possible freezing for almost a week, you placed your hand on your chest. "I actually didn't experience anything for a week now. I think it's back to normal... I really hope so," you answered.

Dr. Yoon nodded before stuffing his mouth with bagels. "Dr. Yoon, the patient on room 217 has woken up," you heard the nurse. Dr. Yoon immediately swallowed his food before turning over you.

"Ah, right! Your friend is here, the one who brought you here a month ago. He suffered from mild concussion, but he was treated already. Do you want to tag along? I was about to check up on him anyway."

Your eyes widened when he mentioned Wonwoo. You have already formulated questions in your head on the way to his room, but Dr. Yoon advised you to avoid asking him questions since he's still resting.

You saw a cold press head bandage around his head when you followed behind Dr. Yoon. He was already awake and you saw him looking straight at you, not even bothering to look at his doctor, and you didn't know why your heart has suddenly beat fast. You just stand at one corner of the room while Dr. Yoon checked his vitals. "You're all good now, Wonwoo. You just have to rest for another hour and you're good to go," said Dr. Yoon before going over you and pats your shoulder. "I'll leave you two now."

You suddenly panicked when you saw Dr. Yoon leave the room.

"You're just going to stand there?"

Your head immediately went to look over Wonwoo who was already raising his brow. "I, uhm, I visited them today and Jeonghan happened to tell me that you're here. That's why I'm now here," you didn't even know why you're suddenly explaining to him.

"So you were already on the first name basis with Dr. Yoon, huh."

You heard him muttered something. "What was that?," you asked while walking towards the stool to take a seat beside his bed.

"Nothing," he shrugged.

You stared at him for a moment before asking a question. You couldn't help it. "What happened to you?" Wonwoo looked at you before sighing.

"I slipped on the bathroom floor," he honestly said.

You wanted to laugh but it would just make you childish. You also felt worried for him because if you didn't, you wouldn't even bother going here on the first place.

"That sucks."

Wonwoo raised his eyebrow. "Yeah, it does." He tried to leave the bed and you quickly held his arm to stop him but he when you touched his left arm, he winced in pain. You were surprised so you immediately removed your hand and you saw a bandage covering his arm with red stains visibly seen. Blood. You tried to touch it again but Wonwoo stopped you.

"It's fine. I'm fine," you heard his heavy breaths in between.

You wanted to know the reason behind it but you remembered to not ask him too many questions. Maybe next time, you thought. You stayed silent for 5 minutes, waiting for him to even out his breath. You were so close to yawning but you heard him talk.

"Y/n, let's talk," is what he said while looking at the ceiling. Remembering that he was supposed to be resting, you said, "You need to rest though. I'll wait for you here, it's my free day anyway." Wonwoo looked at your eyes.

"No, it's okay. Talking to you helps me rest completely."

You felt your heart beats fast and your cheeks suddenly warms. You avoided his gaze at first before clearing a lump on your throat. "Uhm, okay. How are you... I mean, how are you last week? We haven't meet after you sent me home and it's been a week. Did you miss me?," you jokingly asked.

Wonwoo just stared at you and you suddenly felt anxious. Is there something on my face, you thought. "Don't ask me two questions at the same time," is what he said. You raised your eyebrows, "But you always ask me two questions at once," you silently said.

"I have been confused... until now," he said. You leaned over his bed railing and placed your hand under your chin for support. "Me too."

He is still looking at you then you suddenly saw him leaning forward. You closed your eyes when you felt his lips on your forehead. You slowly opened your eyes when you didn't feel his lips anymore and saw him looking on the other side, his cheeks slightly stained with pink.

"I missed you, I guess."

Thump.

You forgot to move for a moment. Wonwoo closed his eyes trying to avoid your stare.

"Remember when you told me something about your heart? I... I have something similar," you heard him say while his eyes are still closed. "It's my blood. It has been my concern for almost half a year now. My arm would suddenly bleed at every unexpected situations including earlier. When I woke up, my arm was bleeding so much I ran quickly towards my bathroom but I slipped. Luckily, I have my friends over for the night. That's why I happened to be lying here on this bed, instead of my cold tiles."

"I thought I already figured it out, but it turns out I'm nowhere near of solving its cause and origin. That's why I was so confused for the past week," you see him sighed before slowly opening his eyes.

You have no idea that he was also suffering from something. You even thought that maybe you're not the only one who's also suffering from something unexplainable. "I wonder if we would survive," you whispered.

"Don't you have anything to say?"

You also opened up how it's already been a week but your heart is still completely fine and warm. "I don't know why, but I just took it for granted. I'm also starting to think that maybe my time will already come that's why they're already making me live like a normal person," you said.

"We just need to hold on, I guess."

You inhaled a deep breath before slowly nodding your head. You didn't expect to fall asleep on your arms until you heard a knock on the door. You also saw Wonwoo who lazily opened his eyes while trying to remove his head bandage. He probably fell asleep too, you thought.

"Patient 217 or should I say Wonwoo, you can now go home. Your bills were already paid," said Dr. Yoon. "I see both of you had a very long chat, it's already 4 o'clock in the afternoon," Dr. Yoon smirked.

You tried to help him stand up but he declined. You just rolled your eyes. "He clearly needs help, but he rejected it. What a man!," you said to yourself.

When you reached the lobby, Wonwoo grabbed your arm.

"Give me your number, it's not like we're strangers to each other."

You scoffed but you still gave it anyway.

He offered to take you to a fast-food restaurant because he's starving and not because you haven't eaten yet. "I know a place, let's grab a food," you were about to decline but...

"It's not for you, I'm hungry." You have no other choice but to follow him.

Wonwoo went to the counter to buy food while you wait to your table. You let your eyes explore the place and you felt anxious seeing almost every customer are couples. You cleared your throat when you saw Wonwoo approaching your table with two burgers and drinks placed on the tray.

"You didn't have to. I wasn't hungry-," you lied.

"Who told you it's for you? These are mine."

Your eyes widened in embarrassment so you looked elsewhere.

"I'm just kidding. Eat up, I know you're also hungry."

You didn't listen to him at first but you intestines think otherwise. You chat for a moment until you both emptied out your drinks and it was then time to bid goodbye. His address is on the other direction so you both walked the opposite ways. You find it helpful how both of you are just blocks away and of course, the snow is falling lightly today that's why you didn't need to ride a cab home. You were almost near your home when you heard your phone ring.

Unknown:

'I'm one call away or should I say block away. Don't forget to wear warm clothes.'

'We'll meet again, beautiful.'

Your lips formed a smile and you could feel your cheeks burn before entering your house.

To Wonwoo:

'Looking forward to that. :)'

It was a busy day in his work. Wonwoo was occupied for a week due to some minor problems to their company and to his luck, his team was slightly involved. That's why he was only going home to sleep then leave for work on the next day.

To beautiful hamster: I want to quit, Y/n. :(

Even though his schedule was packed, he didn't forget to send you a message at least once a day. He has no other reasons, he just wants to talk to you even through chat.

From beautiful hamster: You're a loser then. Don't be such a baby!

Wonwoo laughed when he read your message. He placed his phone back on his desk before making another letter of pardon for his friend, which is also his workmate. Wonwoo looked over his schedule before typing and he momentarily stopped after seeing that he'll be having an open schedule for tomorrow. He'll finally have some free time, he thought.

After finishing his task, he went out to get himself a coffee from the cafe near their building. While waiting in line, he remembered the day he saw you here at this cafe and he absentmindedly touched his arm. To think that not even a single drop of blood was found on his arm, he felt relieved but also scared. He placed his order and again waited for his order to be served.

"Wonwoo."

He went back to the counter to get his order after hearing his name. He was about to get a coffee stirrer when he heard the cashier say something.

"A-are you perhaps the boyfriend of the lady who cheated with a m-married man...?"

Wonwoo's jaw clenched as he get the stirrer. He looked coldly at the cashier. "She did not cheat with anybody," he said before turning around.

Holding his coffee tightly, he looked back at the lady over the counter.

"She did not cheat. Stop spreading rumors. I am her boyfriend."

While going back to his office, Wonwoo didn't know why he said he was your boyfriend to the lady working at the cafe. "It was out of instinct, I guess," he shrugged.

Wonwoo just sat on his swivel chair, while looking at your contact in his phone. He clicked it and typed something.

To beautiful hamster: 'Do you want to have a dinner with me tomorrow?'

He deleted it and once again typed something.

To beautiful hamster: 'Are you free tomorrow night? Let's get dinner together.'

Deleted it.

Wonwoo sighed and leaned his back on his chair. He has a large window on his left that's why he has an overview of the outside world and he could see that the sun was almost setting. He touched his arm and murmured something.

'I think you're already fine, Y/n.'

"Ouch!"

You accidentally bit your tongue while watching your favorite Netflix series. "I hope it's not bleeding," you tried to feel if something tastes like metal, but there's nothing. "It's fine," you exhaled.

Your officemate recommended you something to watch and you gladly accepted it because you have nothing else to watch at the moment and by watching 3 episodes already, you could say that this is not a happy series. You almost cried watching the characters break up and separated ways, but you reminded yourself that it's just a video, nothing personal.

You heard your phone ring and when you opened it, you saw Wonwoo's message.

From Wonwoo: Jgh. What are you doing?

He always send you messages like this and it kind of feels like you were his attendance checker. A loud bang from the episode you are watching caught your attention and you forgot to reply to his message. It was such a heart breaking episode. You curled into a ball on your sofa, fighting the urge to cry. You actually felt like you were the lead character, experiencing a heartbreak from the one she truly loved. You didn't want to fight your tears anymore, so they quickly escaped your eyes and a sob followed.

Wonwoo was just lying on his bed, waiting for your reply. It has already been twenty minutes since he sent you one and normally, you would quickly reply back. That's something he noticed from you.

"Maybe she's already asleep...?"

He closed his eyes to rest for a moment when he felt something drip on his arm. He quickly opened his eyes and he was shocked when he saw how much blood was already dripping from his arm. Remembering how you haven't sent a reply yet, Wonwoo immediately grabbed a towel to wrap on his arm and run quickly to his door.

When he was outside he ran fast towards your address, not caring about the passersby’s reaction to his bleeding arm. It almost felt like ages before he arrived and he immediately opened your door and there he saw you standing surprised with red puffy eyes.

You couldn't believe your eyes when you saw Wonwoo standing in front of your door. Your puffy eyes grew even bigger when you noticed his bleeding arm. Blood was already dripping on the floor.

"Wonwoo... Your arm--"

Wonwoo strode over you and wrapped his right arm around your body to hug you tight.

You could hear his heavy breaths. Did he run all the way here?, you thought. You didn't know why he's here. Is he alright. What happened to his arm?

You tried to remove his right arm on you to check up on him. When you did, you saw him looking directly on your eyes. 'His stare could kill,' you said to yourself. You panicked again when you saw that his bleeding wouldn't stop. "Wonwoo, your arm. It's bleeding!," you silently shouted. Wonwoo looked on his arm too and harshly tied a towel to slowly stop the bleeding. You winced when you saw how tight it was.

"Are you alright?," he asked while staring at your puffy eyes.

"I think we need to visit the hospita--"

"Answer me," your body froze when you heard how intimidating he sound.

Wonwoo sighed, "You didn't answer my message. I thought something happened to you. Y/n, I was so worried!"

You felt small. He raised his voice on you, but it was because he was worried.

Should I be scared or feel touched?

"I'm fine, Wonwoo. I was watching... Something sad, that's why... I think I cried," you avoided to look on him because you felt embarrassed crying over a damn drama.

"Shouldn't you be worried about that, right now? If you don't, I am... worried about your arm," you added.

Wonwoo caressed your cheek with his right hand. "I'm glad you're fine. I'm sorry I raised my voice, I promise I would never do it again." You felt your heart beats fast again. What is this feeling, there's no way...

"Let me just get my med kit, let's clean your arm," you said to atleast be far away for him just for a minute because if you don't, your heart might explode and you suddenly vomit butterflies.

You guided him to your sofa and you sat in front of him. You carefully wiped the remaining blood on his arm and he just stared at you while doing that. "I thought mine was already worse, but yours are even more dangerous. You know you'll probably lose so much blood and that's not good," you sighed. "I hope we find our cure, so we won't suffer anymore."

"But you're the cause and cure," Wonwoo said to himself.

A week before this day, Wonwoo was so busy with work and not a single day he saw blood coming out of his arm. He genuinely liked it and hoped it won't ever bleed again. And he remembered how you said your heart didn't feel like freezing for a week as well. Things started to connect themselves in front of Wonwoo. You were happy.

His bleeding and your heart were connected to your emotions. You were happy, that's why your heart was normal. That's why he wasn't bleeding. He made all efforts on trying to make you smile or feel happy for the days he couldn't visit you through messages. He sent you jokes and that, he has never done before.

If he was right, you could finally live a life the way you wanted it to be and he could finally feel great after all the situations that have happened right before his own eyes.

He didn't believe it at first but something's wrong with him. He's not in his usual self. He's like a fool for love. "Am I inlove?," he asked himself.

You're almost done patching up his arm when you heard him clear his throat.

"Are you free tomorrow?"

You looked up to meet his eyes. There they go again, flying in my stomach. "Uhm... I have time at noon," you shyly said. You saw him hide his smile and slowly nodded at you.

Is he asking me out...?

You're done with his arm and you tried to offer him coffee or something to drink but he refused. He also said he was going now that's why you accompanied him to your door.

"Uh... I'll text you the address. See you tomorrow, Y/n," Wonwoo said while scratching his neck. You nodded and replied a silent 'okay.'

As if something magical passed by in front of you, Wonwoo slowly leaned in.

Is he going to k-kiss me...??

You saw him position his head and your lips are almost an inch away from touching each other.

But he stopped halfway. He quickly looked the other way and muttered something.

"I...uh... I'll go now. Bye!"

Your cheeks flushed red and it was a good thing he was already walking away. "What's with him? What's with me? Why did I feel annoyed that he didn't continue---", you mentally cursed yourself before going back in.

You couldn't sleep. You were just thinking about what to wear for your lunch with Wonwoo.

And you deeply regret not sleeping because your eye bags are evident below your eyes. You shrugged all the thoughts away as you went in your bathroom to take a bath. You just wear casual clothes since it'll be just a friendly date and you still have to go to work in the morning.

Wonwoo is also restless. He already reserved a table for two at the formal restaurant just around the corner. He even think of buying you flowers but it's a bit cheesy for him. He texted you the address earlier at six in the morning. He's not excited at all.

You just sat on your chair and waited for the hours to pass by quickly so that it's already noon break. You looked at the mirror and checked if you're still looking fine and you released a sigh of relief when you saw that you still looked... good, even though you look absolutely great.

"Guys, it's lunch time! Wonwoo, you coming with us? We're trying out the newly opened samgyup resto bar."

Wonwoo shook his head. "I have somewhere else to go, maybe next time."

He quickly get his things and directly went to the restaurant he reserved two seats from. When he arrived, he sat down your table and thanked himself for reserving earlier because it was already packed up with customers.

"Now all I have to do is wait," Wonwoo smiled.

You left your office and started walking towards the direction of the restaurant Wonwoo said. While walking, a thought suddenly flashed in your mind.

What if this is a date, you would just make things harder for him because you're not normal. You would eventually leave him behind.

Considering your thought, you slowed down your walk and started thinking more about the situation.

"Will I just make it hard for him? He's already suffering from something."

You thought that it might be better if he wouldn't end up with you.

You were happy now. You were happy that you met Wonwoo. You had someone to lean on and you finally felt what it feels like to have a friend. You don't have anything to do now, your family is already up there.

Should I follow them?

You squinted your eyes and stopped walking because you were dazzled by the sun. As if on cue, you felt something sharp punctured in your abdomen and a man muttered a curse before running away quickly.

You coughed. Passersby started to gather around you, some are panicking and some immediately called for help. You touched it and slowly looked on it. There you saw a blade, stabbed deeply on your side. Your hands and lips were trembling and your breathing suddenly constrict.

Someone call an ambulance!

Oh my, help!

You then collapsed on the floor and people around you were startled. Your eyes suddenly felt heavy and the last thing you saw was a man caressing your cheeks and constantly saying something.

It feels weird. I didn't feel sad at all. I feel...

Happy.

Wonwoo was already feeling anxious while he still waits for you. He looked at his watch and his eyes widened when he saw that it's already one o'clock in the afternoon. Did she lie to me?, he thought. He was also constantly looking on his arm for any signs of bleeding because if there is, that means you're in trouble. He definitely hoped that there's nothing wrong and that you're absolutely fine.

He waited for your message too but his phone wasn't even ringing.

He felt restless so he stood up and left the restaurant. While he was walking, he saw a large crowd on the way.

"What's the commotion about?"

He then heard a woman shouted for help.

"Someone!! Help her!! She's stabbed!"

He walked over to look and maybe do something to help but his body suddenly froze. He can't move. His heart fell down. His jaw and fists clenched. His breathing rapidly increased as he approached your almost lifeless body on the ground.

"Y/n! Hey! Y/n!!!" he caressed your cheeks, "Stay with me, hey... Don't fucking close your eyes! Y/n, look at me. Y/n!!!," he shouted when he saw you closing your eyes.

"Someone call a fucking ambulance! Why are you just fucking looking?!"

Wonwoo looked over your punctured wound. "Shit! Y/n, stay with me."

"I need you!"

The ambulance came and you were immediately brought to the hospital in the emergency room. They didn't let Wonwoo in so he was left at the lobby waiting. He pulled his hair out of anger. His white dress shirt was now stained with red liquid--your blood. He squatted near the emergency door and put his head on his knees. A nurse approached him and informed him that they will perform emergency surgery on you since the blade had damaged several parts of your tissues so it needs to be sutured back and its little particles also penetrated it and they should be removed immediately. He just looked up to the nurse and couldn't even bother saying anything.

"Why didn't it bleed? I would've come sooner."

Wonwoo started blaming himself but it would only be useless right now since it already happened. A male nurse also approached him and told him that the cops are waiting for him at the lobby. He immediately stood up and strode his way at the lobby.

"Are you related to Miss Y/l/n?," a cop asked.

"Y-yeah."

"The suspect has already been arrested and is on the interrogation room at our headquarters right now. He is charged of GBH. We're deeply sorry for what happened to her."

Wonwoo's jaw and fists clenched out of anger. "Charge of bodily harm? That means 5 years in prison?," Wonwoo scoffed. "You know better than this, officer."

The cops slightly bowed to him before leaving.

He was about to go back to hallway of the emergency room when he saw Jeonghan who is tightly holding someone, who seems like another doctor, on his collar. He slowly walked towards them and he was shocked. Jeonghan punched the other doctor causing him to fall on the ground.

"You almost killed her, you motherfucker! How could you be so dumb and act on your own?! I'm the senior here!"

Jeonghan noticed Wonwoo so he calmed himself before facing him. "Wonwoo--"

Wonwoo's ears are already turning red--he was fuming. "What the fuck happened in there?"

"Wonwoo, calm down--"

He grabbed Dr. Yoon's collar. "Don't tell me what to do. What happened in there, Jeonghan?"

Jeonghan pushed Wonwoo's hands away from him and he readjusted his collar. "The junior messed it up," he sighed. "We were already going smoothly as planned until he fucked it up. This shit made her bleeding worse when he pulled the blade out and that shouldn't have happened if he listened to us. She almost lost so much blood..."

"Take mine. Does she need blood? Take mine," Wonwoo sobbed. "Take my fucking blood. I-" Wonwoo let his body fall on the ground as he cried.

Jeonghan sat in front of him and helped him calm down. "She'll be fine. She's fine. Y/n's the strongest person I know."

Jeonghan stayed by Wonwoo's side until he's calmed down but the sudden opening of the emergency door startled the both of them.

"Doctor Park has requested you to join in again. Y/n has ventricular fibrillation and they'll immediately perform cardioversion and cpr in between. It hasn't been too fatal to implant ICD," a nurse said. Jeonghan immediately went to wear his surgical gown and wash his hands and arms with PVP-I before going back to the ER.

Wonwoo didn't know what to do. He just hoped for the best because at the end of the day, he knows you'll still open those precious green eyes of yours.

Wonwoo looked at the opening door and there he saw you, lying on the bed with IV fluids attached on your hand. He tried to reach you but Jeonghan caught his hands and made him sit down. He gave Wonwoo a bread before sitting next to him. "She's under influence of anesthesia. She'll probably wake up for about an hour so I suggest you to take a rest first. Go out and inhale fresh air, you need it." Jeonghan said before standing up and going to his office.

Wonwoo looked at his watch.

6 o'clock in the evening.

"She struggled that long," he sighed before going out to get some fresh air.

Wonwoo went to the park where he first had an interaction with you. It has already been 5 weeks, yet he still wasn't able to say what he wanted to say to you a few weeks ago. I'm a sucker, he thought. He sat down by a bench near the tallest tree at the park. He sighed and closed his eyes for a moment.

"Mister..." A kid stood in front of Wonwoo and was extending his small arm, holding a single alstroemeria. Wonwoo tilted his head to the side and asked, "Is this for me?"

The kid shook his head but he still urged him to get it and immediately ran away skipping after Wonwoo get the flower on his hand. "Huh, it's not even the season of flowers," he asked. Wonwoo stared at the flower before looking at his watch. It was already quarter to seven so he decided to head back and visit you on your room.

When he entered the room, your eyes were still closed. You looked calm and heavenly, he thought. He sat down beside your bed and placed the flower on the table. He sighed before holding your left hand. He just pressed it on his cheeks, not saying anything, just feeling your warmth. "You owe me another one. I don't cry in front of others but you made me do it," he silently laughed at himself. He looked at the flower, "A kid gave me a flower. I'm not sure what kind of flower it is though and it's not even the time for flowers to bloom."

He stared at your face for a moment before planting a kiss on your forehead. He heard a knock on the door. "Wear this. Blood's still on your shirt," Jeonghan said.

"You finally found your cure, didn't you? Confusion's finally over. I'm happy for you, man."

Wonwoo looked at Jeonghan before giving him a small smile. "I did. But I don't think I am her cure. I'll let her go to her cure because that's how much I--," Wonwoo stopped talking when he heard you groan. Jeonghan crosses his arms together before flashing a smirk.

"Good evening, princess. How are you?," asked Jeonghan.

You slowly opened your eyes and the first thing you saw was Wonwoo's worried look. "I feel crap. I think I saw heaven for a bit," you said and clearly Wonwoo wasn't happy about that. "They pushed me back though. Said it wasn't my time yet," you said while Jeonghan's checking your vitals.

"Estimated 3 days before you could finally go home. For now, rest completely so that, he winked at Wonwoo's direction, could finally calm his nerves down," Jeonghan said before leaving the room.

You sighed.

"Hey, I'm sorry for making you worried."

Wonwoo gave you the cold stare. "Don't say sorry, it's not your fault. Although, you were kind of dumb but still not your fault." You placed your hand on his cheek before saying something.

"I actually thought I would never see you again and I was... slightly happy about that," you said that made Wonwoo confused.

"I didn't want to add up to your life's concerns. You're already dealing with something and you still have a dream to achieve while I don't. I don't have any reasons left to regret dying earlier, you know," you shrugged. "Ouch!," Wonwoo flicked your forehead. "What was that for?"

"You seriously won't regret leaving me behind? After all the things I did for you?"

You laughed at his expression. "I was kidding. You're no fun at all! I still want to meet the person that will completely heal my heart, you know. Wonder what it feels like to be embraced by him."

"It will probably feel cold at all, not warm," he murmured.

"I heard you." Wonwoo looked at you. "I intentionally murmured it loudly."

You were about to tease him a bit more when he smashed a flower on your forehead. "You really liked violence, huh!" You hold the stem of the flower and you immediately recognized its kind. You dramatically looked over Wonwoo and he returned a questioning look. "What?"

You pouted and faked a sob. "I--" Wonwoo worriedly look at you, "Hey, what's wrong? First time receiving a flower?"

"You're friend-zoning me," you sob. "All this time, I thought you that you liked me too. I was a fool," you invested in some of your acting skills. Wonwoo gaped at what he heard. "What did you say?"

"What did I say? I didn't say anything. Omg, I love this flower. Thank you, friend." you said emphasizing the word friend. Wonwoo is clearly not enjoying this so he threatened you by leaning in over you. "I heard it right. You said you like me. Now, stop this little game of yours or else," he said.

You weren't afraid of this threat so you leaned in as well. "Or else what?" Your eyes widened when he quickly pecked your lips.

Thump.

"Here's your food-- I guess I'll come back later," Jeonghan said before closing the door.

Wonwoo smirked at you. "You asked for it."

You dramatically touched your lips as you looked away from him. "I can't believe this is happening." You quickly looked back at him. "Tell me I'm not dreaming," you light slapped his cheek. "You're really here. You really pecked my lips. Woah..."

Wonwoo laughed at you. "Yes, this is real. Go back to sleep and take a rest so that I could finally take you for lunch, dinner or even breakfast when you're completely healed," he ruffled your hair.

"Good night, Wonwoo. Sweet dreams," you smiled at him before closing your eyes. Wonwoo turned off the lights of your room and left to take a rest too.

'I am totally a fool for love,' he thought.

The day finally came where Wonwoo could finally take you to the restaurant for a date and you swear, this is the only date both of you had after almost 2 months of being discharged at the hospital. He made it clear, though. 'From now on, you're my girlfriend and I am yours.' That was 2 months ago after he fetched you at the hospital. He stayed by your side even if you don't need help with cleaning your stitches. He almost lived at your house too but you didn't care because you love him.

He also told you that the reason of his bleeding is you. Of course you felt bad but he told you, 'you don't have to because I already have the cure.' You remembered you asked what and he answered, "It's not what, it's who and it's you, my love." Butterflies were dancing in your stomach back then. Although every day with him always made you feel butterflies at your stomach, you still won't get used to it.

"Y/n, I told you every thing you wear is perfect. You look beautiful on whatever you wear," Wonwoo said trying to convince you to finally settle for something to wear because he's already hungry.

"Alright, alright. How do I look?"

Wonwoo licked his lips, "Perfect."

You rolled your eyes before giving him a peck. "Let's go, you must be starving."

When you arrived, you didn't know Wonwoo would rent the whole restaurant just for the both of you. "Wonwoo... this is too much. I--"

Wonwoo placed his hands on your waist, "Did you not like it, hmm?"

You held his hands and placed it on top of your chest while you placed your head on his chest. Wonwoo just looked at you, eyes beaming with joy.

"I love it."

"Thank you for being my cure, Wonwoo," you looked up to him, tears trying to escape your eyes. He held the back of your head and leaned in for a passionate kiss.

"I love you," you said in between his kisses.

Wonwoo placed his forehead on yours.

"I will love you with all my heart, with all my blood. Always."

Warming you up

by wonwhomps

A/n: How are you? How am I? First of all, I thank you, yes you! For reading my works. I wouldn't be motivated to write if it wasn't for you. I thank myself as well, for always making plots that eventually urged me to spare half of my time writing every day. It's hard to write when school is on going but I can manage. Writing is my escape, I guess. Sorry for the grammatical errors found in the story, I'll proof-read my stories when I have an open schedule. I hope you were somehow moved by this story. It's my first ever 10k words story tbh. I'll end my note by shamelessly promoting my other fanfictions found here. Also, I'll post some of my works at Wattpad and it would be truly helpful if you come visit it there. Thank you! xx

Story trailer

Masterlist

Medical terms used above:

Disclaimer: This information is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, emergency treatment or formal first-aid training. Don't use this information to diagnose or develop a treatment plan for a health problem or disease without consulting a qualified health care provider. If you're in a life-threatening or emergency medical situation, seek medical assistance immediately.

▸Implantable Cardioverter Defibrillator (ICD) - is a device placed under your skin. It also contains a computer that tracks your heart rate and rhythm. If your heart beats way too fast or is very out of rhythm, the ICD sends out a shock to get it back into rhythm ▸Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation (CPR) - is an emergency procedure that combines chest compressions often with artificial ventilation in an effort to manually preserve intact brain function until further measures are taken to restore spontaneous blood circulation and breathing in a person who is in cardiac arrest.

▸Povidone-iodine (PVP-I) - also known as iodopovidone, is an antiseptic used for skin disinfection before and after surgery. It may be used both to disinfect the hands of healthcare providers and the skin of the person they are caring for. It may also be used for minor wounds.

▸Hypothermia - is a medical emergency that occurs when your body loses heat faster than it can produce heat, causing a dangerously low body temperature.

▸Trypanophobia - is an extreme fear of medical procedures involving injections or hypodermic needles.

Others:

▸Grievous Bodily Harm (GDR) - is a term used in English criminal law to describe the severest forms of assault. It refers to two offences that are respectively created by sections 18 and 20 of the Offences against the Person Act 1861.

▸Alstroemeria - is the flower most representative of friendship, so you will find it in many friendship bouquets. This flower also symbolizes good fortune and prosperity, so it offers double meaning.

141 notes · View notes

the-pen-and-the-stethoscope · 3 years

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So while Six of Crows has been on my to read list for a while now when I saw that Shadow and Bone was coming to Netflix and realized they were all part of the same little universe I was like *rolls up sleeves* K guess it’s time to read five books in one month to prepare for this new series drop. (special shout out to @darklesmylove because it’s mostly your blog posts that convinced me I had to read this series...I give you this as a gift...)

And now I present to you (in the order which I read them) the events in the Shadow and Bone/Six of Crows books that made me go ABSOLUTELY FERAL (wow there’s a lot more of these than I thought there were).

- “The problem with wanting,” he whispered, his mouth trailing along my jaw until it hovered over my lips, “is that it makes us weak.” (unfortunately the last time I was seduced by the Darkling - NEVER AGAIN BAD SIR! But this was fucking hot)

- THE. FIGHT. OVER. THE. STAG. (Just...Alina not killing it, the Darkling is here, now he’s going to kill it. NOW ALINA IS IN FRONT OF THE STAG SAVING IT. NOW SHE WANTS MAL TO SACRIFICE HER. NOW THE COLLAR IS AROUND HER NECK AND NOW SHE’S UNDER HIS POWER AHHHHH) Bonus: “Shhhh. Quiet now, or I will let Ivan kill him. Slowly.”

- When Alina figures out the dream and TAKES THE POWER BACK!!! (yaaaaasss queen!)

- When the Darkling finds Alina and Mal in Cofton and that whole fight scene and her getting bit and then I had to WAIT UNTIL THE REST OF THE BOOKS CAME IN THE MAIL

- “From what I know of the Ice Court, whoever stole my DeKappel is exactly who I need for this job.” “Then you’d be better off hiring him. Or her.” “Indeed. But I’ll have to settle for you.” (I’m 50 pages in and in love with Kaz Bekker, someone help me)

- “Not just yet, Inej.” The rasp of stone on stone. Her eyes flew open. Kaz. (ugh my cold cold heart is awake and beats only for them!)

- Because I’ve been looking for an excuse to talk to you for two days. (literally like......)

- When Jordie and Kaz get tricked. (I mean all of Kaz’s back story but that was...ugh..........)

- It was because she was listening so closely that she knew the exact moment when Kaz Brekker, Dirtyhands, the bastard of the Barrel and the deadliest boy in Ketterdam, fainted.

- When Nina runs into the guards and the alarm goes off and I realize that I’m an idiot and OBVIOUSLY THINGS WERE GOING TO GO WRONG.

- WHEN INEJ TOUCHES KAZ’S FACE. His eyes were nearly black, the pupils dilated. She could see it took every last bit of his terrible will for him to remain still beneath her touch. And yet, he did not pull away. She knew it was the best he could offer. It was not enough.

- He slammed his fist against the window. “Do not speak my name.” Then he smiled, a smile as cold and unforgiving as the northern sea. “Welcome to the Ice Court, Nina Zenik. Now our debt is paid.” (like FUCK MATTHIAS GOT ME TOO. WHAT A GOOD ACT!)

- I have been made to protect you. Only in death will I be kept from this oath. It was the vow of the druskelle to Fjerda. And now it was Matthias’ promise to her. (OMGGGGGG)

- “This is going to sting a bit,” said the druskelle holding the whip. His voice was rasping, familiar. His hands were gloved. “But if we live, you’ll thank me later.” His hood slid off, and Kaz Brekker looked back at them.

- The sun was out for once, and Inej had turned her face to it. Her eyes were shut, her oil-black lashes fanned over her cheeks. The harbor wind had lifted her dark hair, and for a moment Kaz was a boy again, sure that there was magic in this world. (YEAH OKAY. AND THIS IS HIS LAST THOUGHT BEFORE DROWNING.)

- WHEN THEY STEAL THE TANK. THE TANK. AND THEN DRIVE IT THROUGH THE FUCKING TOWN.

- Nina on parem.

- “I will have you without armor, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all.” (SCREEAAAAMS. BANGS HAND AGAINST BOOK. DIES.)

- “Kaz knew the instant he made his mistake...in that moment of threat, when he should have thought only of the fight, he looked at Inej.” (asdlfkasgkjasglk;sdfjl)

- I’m going to get my money, Kaz vowed. And I’m going to get my girl. (YEAH BITCH!)

- When Alina first sees the Darkling while they are traveling the fold (I froze, I read it like four times, I couldn’t believe what was happening)

- When Mal suggests they go to that stupid party and then Alina actually agrees (I literally was like...well something bad is going to happen and I hate it here)

- When the Darkling shows up after Alina and Mal kiss. “Another otkazat’sya, Alina?” the Darkling mocked. (sdflkajd)

- “I can’t decide if you’re an idiot, or an idiot.” (ugh Nikolai, marry me)

- two pages later: “You’re a spectacular actor,” I said drily. “Do you think so?” he asked. Then he leaned in and whispered, “I’m doing ‘humble’ right now.” (FUCK ME)

- “I want to kiss you,” Nikolai said. “But I won’t. Not until you’re thinking of me instead of trying to forget him.” (Am I the only one who found this cute??? Why did Alina get upset??? Do I have Nikolai-colored goggles on??? Maybe...)

- When the Darkling came to Alina in her sleep and then PRETENDED TO BE MAL SO HE COULD HAVE HIS WAY WITH HER?!?!?!?!?! (ahhhhhhhhhh) “I missed you too, Alina.” That voice. Cool and smooth as glass. (AHHHHH)

- Nikolai stood up, his chair scraping loudly against the parquet floor. “When did you lift the blockades? How long have the roads been open?” (LSDAKLFSDLFDKASLDKLSKLKLL)

- “Not bad looking?” said another voice. “He’s damnably handsome.” Luchenko scowled. “Since when - “ “Brave in battle, smart as a whip.” Now the voice seemed to be coming from above us. Luchenko craned his neck, peering into the trees. “An excellent dancer,” said the voice. “Oh, and an even better shot.” (And then I damn near died.)

- There’s a whole three pages (that I will not re-type here) after they arrive at the Spinning Wheel of Nikolai just being *chef’s kiss* flawless. Some great lines include: “Everyone needs a hobby.” “I thought yours was preening.” “Two hobbies.” “Should I be offended that he doesn’t want to dine with us? I set an excellent table, and I rarely drool.” “What a filthy mind you have. I was referring to puzzles and the perusal of edifying texts.” “Last chance to run.”

- “Alina, I’ll be back to fetch you for dinner, but should you grow restless, do feel free to run screaming from the room or take a dagger to her. Whatever seems most fitting at the time.” (asldjkasl;dkfs;lkd NIKOLAI)

- Okay gunna skip ahead - you can assume any time Nikolai said anything I screamed.

- Nikolia’s second proposal (THE EMERALD!!! JUST HOW HE PUTS IT ON TOP OF THE WALL)

- Nikolai’s third proposal. Nikolai’s skin was warm, his grip gentle. I’d wondered if I would ever feel something so simple again or if the power in me would just keep jumping and crackling. (THIS is why he is perfect for her - no jolt of electricity, just warmth and comfort!!!)

- SERGEI!!!!

- When Nikolai gets fucking taken over by a nichevo’ya (I HATE EVERYONE)

- When Baghra sacrifices herself

- When we finally FINALLY find out what makes Mal so special (I mean....his tracking was OTHERWORLDLY I can’t believe people weren’t more fucking freaked out by him)

- “The Darkling marched on Keramzin.” (Literally screamed: “MY HEART HURTS.” I was crying. I nearly threw the book down. “BUT THE CHILDREN!” I say with my fists in the air. I am become a blade.)

- Nikolai visiting Alina while he is the monster and trying to make himself better (ahhhhh tears!!! THE EMERALD!!!) The words died on my lips. Nikolai turned my palm over and slid the ring onto my finger. (FUUUUCK. PAAAAIN.)

- When Nikolai comes back and FIGHTS FOR THEM IN THE FOLD!!!! HE MAY BE A MONSTER BUT HE IS NOT THE DARKLING’S MONSTER, BITCH!!

- “Please,” I sobbed. “Bring him back to me.” (lkadsflkj this was actually devastating even though I’m not a huge Mal fan)

- “We need more light,” he said. A choked laugh escaped me. I held up my hands, pleading with the light and with any Saint who had ever lived. it was no good. (UGHHHH. MORE PAIN.)

- Tamar sobbed. Toyla swore. And there it was again: the thready, miraculous sound of Mal drawing breath. (and also the first time I breathed for an entire chapter!)

- “Alina,” he said and kissed the scar on my palm, “I remember everything.” (Literally the last like twenty pages of this book I just gave up and was like actually Mal is adorable and I need to protect him at all costs.)

- “Really I just wanted to look at the words.” (ughhhhh)

- Once a man arrived with a fleet of toy boats that the children launched on the creek in a miniature regatta. The teachers noted that the stranger was young and handsome, with golden hair and hazel eyes, but most definitely off. He stayed late to dinner and never once removed his gloves. (NIKOLAI SIGHTING IN THE EPILOGUE MY HEART GOES ON)

- When Van Eck thinks Kaz is coming to get Inej and then he tells Inej and then she is WILLING HIM to not show up and then it is revealed he wasn’t there all along (BOOM BITCH THAT’S HOW KAZ BREKKER FUCKING WORKS.)

- “Those were my mother’s favorite flower.”

- “Why the net, Kaz?” I couldn’t bear to watch you fall. (POETRY OKAY?)

- Jesper and Wylan going to see Wylan’s mother and just fucking everything about that chapter.

- When Inej almost FALLS INTO THE FUCKING SILO AND IT’S THE END OF THE GD CHAPTER

- “Pick up the pace,” Kaz said, eyeing his watch. “If I spill a single drop of this, it will burn straight through the floor onto my father’s dinner guests.” “Take your time.”

- “We’ll fight our way out together,” Inej whispered. Nina glanced from Inej to Kaz and saw they both wore the same expression. Nina new that look. It came after the shipwreck, when the tide moved against you and the sky had gone dar. It was the first sight of land, the hope of shelter and even salvation that might await you on a distant shore. (AHHHHHH)

- Wylan’s first thought was that this boy had the most perfectly shaped lips he’d ever seen. His second was that his father had sent someone new to kill him. (Wylan you are so adorable it’s adorable)

- Inej was moving before she thought of it. She couldn’t just watch him die, she wouldn’t. They had him down now, heavy boots kicking and stomping at his body. her knives were in her hands. She’d kill them all. She’d pile the bodies to the rafters for the stadwatch to find. But in that moment, through the wide slats in the banister landing, she saw his eyes were open. His gaze found hers. He’d known she was there all along. Of course he had. He always kew how to find her. He age the barest shake of his bloodied head. (THESE TWO!!)

- “My leg! My leg!” “I recommend a cane,” Kaz said. (cackling)

- When Sturmhond (aka Nikolai ***swoons***) showed up in Crooked Kingdom. (What actually happened: me reading a description of a “fox-like” man with Genya and Zoya and screaming and saying to myself “OMG WHEN I TURN THE PAGE IT WILL CONFIRM THAT NIKOLAI IS IN THE BUILDING I CAN’T” (did I mention I’m in love with him??? already??? k))

- When Jesper and Wylan FINALLY kiss FOR REAL (this was a big chapter for me) This was the kiss he’d been waiting for. It was a gunshot. It was prairie fire. it was the spin of Makker’s Wheel. Jesper felt the pounding of his heart - or was it Wylan’s? - like a stampede in his chest, and the only thought in his head was a happy, startled, Oh.

- CHAPTER 33 - just everything, everything about the reveals in this chapter. The money being funneled to the Shu, not being able to trace even the RANSOM NOTE back to Kaz. WYLAN SHOWING UP!!!! “ARE YOU SURE THEY WERE PEKKA’S MEN?” !!!!!!!!

- “Do something,” Matthias growled at Kaz. “This is about to turn ugly.” Kaz’s face was as impassive as always. “Do you think so?” (bahahahahaha)

- Nina’s just complete glee over the chaos she creates!!! “She was the Queen of Mourning, and in its depths, she would never drown.”

- Jesper using his fucking power!!!!!!

- She stared up at him. He was going to miss that look of surprise. (HE’S GOING TO LET HER GO. HE KNOWS HE IS GOING TO LET HER GO.)

- KAZ’S PLAN BECOMING CLEAR IN IT’S BRILLIANCE AS EACH CHAPTER GOES BY.

- Inej frowned. “I thought you and Nina chose four outbreak sites on the Staves.” Kaz straightened his cuffs. “I also had her stop at the Menagerie.” She smiled then, her eyes red, her cheeks scattered with some kind of dust. It was a smile he thought he might die to earn again. (AHHHHHHHHHHHHH)

- “A sedative,” said the medik. “Is that safe for a pregnant woman?” “For me.” (This is just FLAWLESS in its depiction of people who don’t do OB care regularly.)

- Matthias saw the anger there, the rage. He knew it well. But he was still surprised when he heard the shot. (NOOOOOOOO!!!)

- “Has she at least done it before?” said Kaz. “For this purpose?” asked Sturmhond. “I’ve seen her do it twice. It worked splendidly. Once.” (NIKOLAI I BEG YOU!)

- When Matthias DIES?!??! (I’M SORRY WHO LET THIS HAPPEN??)

- “You will meet him again in the next life,” said Inej. “But only if you suffer this now.”

- Wylan getting all of his father’s money because KAZ HAS BEEN PLANNING THIS ALL ALONG??!

- Jesper leaned in and said, quietly enough that no one else could hear, “I can read to him.” (alksdflk;jasfl;jkd that was hot)

- “Well hopefully the medik will be here to fix my ribs soon,” he said as he headed back into the parlor. “Yeah?” “Yes,” said Wylan, glancing briefly over his shoulder, his cheeks now red as cherries. “I’d like to make a down payment.” (OMG WYLAN?!?!?! IN FRONT OF MY SALAD?!?! IS THIS ALLOWED?!?!)

- At some point, Jesper realized Kaz was gone. “Not one for goodbyes, is he?” he muttered. “He doesn’t say goodbye,” Inej said. She kept her eyes on the lights of the canal. Somewhere in the garden, a night bird began to sing. “He just lets go.” (TEARS.)

- She felt his knuckles slide against hers. Then his hand was in her hand, his palm was pressed against her own. A tremor moved through him. Slowly, he let their fingers entwine. (I gasped so loud i literally woke my cat up from a deep sleep.)

- “Wait,” he said. The burn of his voice was rougher than usual. “Is my tie straight?” Inej laughed, her hood falling back from her hair. “That’s the laugh,” he murmured. (THAT’S THE LAUGH. THAT’S THE LAUGH. AHHHHH)

Okay done. Gunna go stare at the ceiling until tomorrow night/whenever I finally get King of Scars and Rule of Wolves in the mail (BECAUSE YOU KNOW MY SORRY ASS IS DYING AT THE THOUGHT OF TWO BOOKS ALL ABOUT NIKOLAI)

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vinylhazza · 4 years

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Can you write a lil thing about confiding in your best friend (either twin) about your abusive relationship and then he helps you leave and shows you real love. I'm in a abusive relationship atm and I wish I had it :(

LEAVE HIM FOR ME (G.D)

warning: mention of physical abuse, trauma, mention of sexual abuse, angst, fluff

*italics are flashbacks/past conversations*

grayson would have been trying for so long to figure out where the bruises were coming from. he stopped at nothing to try and pry the information out of you until he finally started to back up after you got angry at him one evening for not letting it go.

“just let it the fuck go grayson, i fell. i told you that.” or “yeah straightener is a bitch you know? you’re not a girl you wouldn’t understand gray, i’m okay.”

you knew he was trying to help, but feared that giving them the knowledge would only make it worse. your jackass of a boyfriend was dangerous, you knew it even if he didn’t. he could hurt him, and that was the last thing on earth you would ever want - for grayson to be hurt. you would get teary eyes and a flustered blush when he noticed your frown at the mention of the bastards name. it was like a shock to your system. with grayson...everything was different. you weren’t weak. you weren’t some piece of meat that could be abused and used whenever he pleased. you weren’t a derogatory name that seemed to define you.

he kept you safe. he kept you warm when you shivered. he made sure you ate when he notices you haven’t touched a single piece of food all day, takes e time to cook your favorite meal of all. he would care for you, wait on your every hand and foot when you felt ill, make that special soup his ma taught him when he was younger, he knows how much it helps. he braids your hair to help you calm down, and he’s actually very good at it. something about the tenderness and care he gives you when he’s messing with your hair immediately eases your stress, and you don’t know it, but he has a small smile the entire time.

God that man would love the fuck out of you, just waiting in the shadows for you to see that he was right there, waiting to give you all the love that he could give. Grayson’s love language was physical touching, he loved to have his hair played with, back scratches, hugs that last too long, having your legs propped up over his lap as you watch a netflix special. he often watches you close in those moments, running his own fingers through your hair, deep slow massages, and sometimes....he even leaned in for a kiss on your cheek, your forehead, and when he was especially clingy, your neck. you didn’t think anything of, even tried to ignore the fluttering in your stomach - the butterflies swirling around like a tornadoe. and you especially ignore the clenching in your lower region, trying to convince yourself it’s not him in particular but the lack of affectionate touches you never receive from your boyfriend.

deep down, you know your heart tells you different. but you aren’t a cheater and how could you leave? you know he would come after you, after your family, after grayson, even after ethan if he’s as crazy as you thought he was.

the first time he hit you, was the first night he ever yelled at you as well. it had been sudden, out of nowhere, shocking. he was...not right that day. he was irritable, not really speaking to you all that much...just quite frankly being a dick. your love language is physical touch just like graysons, but...not that kind. you had just wanted to hug him, maybe give him a reassuring squeeze to let him know you were there to help him and be there for him through whatever it was he was struggling with. you know how hard it is to be in your own head and have no one to share your pain with.

but his hand slapping into like a tidal wave prevented that from ever happening.

“what the fuck is wrong with you?! can’t you see i want to be left the fuck alone?! are you fucking dumb?! get out!”

you spent the whole night crying, curled up on the couch with a blanket wrapped around you tight, a bag of frozen peas pressed up against your right cheek. in the morning when you woke up with a groan, you stumbled into the bathroom to find a black and blue bruise right along your cheek bone - a hateful looking mark. this...this wasn’t love.

“such a slutty, dumb little bitch. thinking you can wear that out and strut around like a whore? then i’ll treat you like a whore.”

he never apologized and the violence never stopped. the punches became more frequent, and it was getting so hard for you to hide them that you began making excuses: falling, fluke accidents that sometimes made no sense, dropping something, bumping into things. but everytime you made up a lie, it took a piece of you away. a piece of you that you felt would always in some way be connected to him. to his viscous words, actions, and those little moments that kept convincing you to stay.

you stayed for the rare moments he would smile, the times that would remind you of the man you fell for - the one that didn’t exist anymore. you knew you were foolish and anyone with a brain could see right through your stupid lies and excuses, but you simply avoided talking about him. he made you think it’s what you deserved. and after a while you believed it.

you stopped being sexually attracted to him in the very beginning, when the hitting first began...but he...he was a man of selfish desire. take what he wants and be on his way, keep treating you like dirt, keep kicking you while he knew you had no fighting chance. he took advantage of your body, used you like a toy and threw you away. made you think it was a yes even when you screamed no. a hand over your mouth, his tongue down your throat, you didn’t have a choice.

grayson knew it all along. he knew the bastard hit you. he knew the disgusting filth of a man you would go ‘home’ to. he knew it wasn’t your true home. your home was him. your home was grayson. but you had to keep him safe, hence the reason you never admitted to the consistent mental, physical, and sexual abuse. but grayson refused to do nothing, stand by and watch the women he loved suffer all alone, determined to be your knight in shining armor, save you from the villain trying to ruin your beautiful life so full of purpose.

“what am i supposed to do e? he’s hurting her, like really hurting her. the bruise on her neck isn’t a fucking burn it looks like a goddamn hand was choking her to death. what am i supposed to do? tell me what to do.”

Distraught was an understatement when it came to a teary eyed grayson sitting at the foot of his brothers bed. you had left after a movie night, having to lie to your boyfriend and tell him you were at a girlfriends house, you’ve already been beat up for even mentioning graysons name. you would never make that mistake again.

ethan sat straight up against his headboard, pulling at the stubble on his chin, brow furrowed with a concerned, and angry, scowl.

“the asshole thinks he can just get away with hurting her because she sits there and takes it...it’s killing me. God how did she get herself into this mess...i just feel...useless. i’m supposed to protect her e, that’s what you do for the people you love and i fucking fail her over and over again everyone i let her walk out the front door of this house,” grayson grumbled, leaning over the bed with his head in his hands. his shoulders were tensing, something that usually happens when he’s especially stressed or upset about something.

“i’m sure ‘taking it’ isn’t exactly what she’s doing. she’s scared. he’s a big guy gray, a dangerous guy, he can really do damage to her if she tries to fight him back,” ethan mutters, not wanting to make his brother more upset. it didn’t seem to be working, “you know this isn’t her fault and so do i gray. a man like that will stop at nothing to control her every move. it’s an act of dominance, control, he wants to rule every action, every thought, every move she might make. if we do anything, we need to do it fast, and do it in a clever way that won’t get her fucking killed by that psychopath.

“it’s just impossible to sit here and have her flinch when i try to touch her...i would never fucking hurt her. i never have. and i know it’s so hard for her to trust anyone with all of the shit she has to deal with...but God dammit i would move heaven and hell for that girl and i need to save her,” grayson sits up, a noticeable tear streaming down his face. his love was evident in his every word, “i’ll take my time. make her see she deserves better. whatever the fuck she needs to convince her to leave that dumbfuck, i’ll do it. i just need help e, that’s all i’m asking.”

“of course gray, you know i got your back. and i have y/n’s too. we are gonna get her away from that creep and show her what real love is. not that fake disgusting shit he claims it is. doesn’t even know what the fuck it means and he has no business using that word frankly.” ethan’s tone is clipped, sharp, and deep - he would do whatever he could to get away just like grayson would. granted he’s not in love with you, but he doesn’t have love for you, and he would still do anything to protect you, “but be patient with her. a guy like that stops at nothing to tear down a woman until she thinks she deserves what’s coming to her. she accepts the pain because she is trained to live in silence. we need to break that silence and make sure that she knows it’s okay to tell us and we would never put her in danger.”

there is silence for a moment, full of tension, worry, for their friend. graysons worries if he speaks, he might cry. instead he ops for bouncing his knee in a steady rhythm, something you taught him to do when he felt restless. and it helps. but with a deep breath he’s turning back to ethan.

“okay so, how do we do it?” grayson stands, ready to take on whatever it is to get her in his arms safe and sound. even if that means hurting her jackass of a boyfriend. hopefully soon to be ex, he thought.

“well, i think maybe tricking her into a little intervention is the only way to go about it. or maybe one of us can convince her to spill the beans. it might be too much on her if we both start hounding her with questions she’s scared to answer. i’m sure some of them are very personal. we can’t freak her out, she’s already so fragile.” grayson knew he was right. he needs to proceed with caution. maybe if he could convince her he’s who she belongs with...confesses to his desires and wishes maybe she would have the strength to leave. if that’s even what she wanted. if not it would ruin their friendship and she would still be in a bad situation.

“true...if we go to their apartment fists up and ready to fight, it will probably make it worse and fall back on her. she’s doesn’t need any more problems than she already has. i mean hell, she’s even scared to sleep anymore,” grayson ponders. he remembers the nights she would stay over when her boyfriend was away gallivanting with whatever floosy he could find. cheating abusive bastard that he was. then it dawned on him.

“what if, and hear me out, what if we just move her out and have her live with us? i mean the guy doesn’t know where we live and fuck it i’ll get security if i have to. we’ve been needing it for a while anyway. she would be safe, protected, and with her closest friends who wouldn’t let a damn thing happen to her,” grayson tried to explain himself, gauging ethans reaction to see if he had a disapproving face.

to his surprise, he didn’t. in fact, it was like a lightbulb clicked inside of his head. with a clap of his hands he’s standing.

“that’s actually a great idea. i don’t know when he leaves or whatever the dumbfuck does but when he does we can go over there and get all of her stuff out and move her in here. we just have to make sure we know when he leaves, when he comes back, and most importantly if she will even say yes.”

it was three days after when you finally stopped by. the bruises on the left side of your neck and cheekbone fading away. graysons heart broke every time he saw the purplish hue on your face. he would kill him if he could. he would do whatever it took to keep you safe. he just had to do it like a civilized human being. he knew that at least if you’re on his property and your stupid bitch if a boyfriend came by...well let’s just say he wouldn’t be so forgiving.

he pulled you into the backyard with the sun just sinking under the horizon. he wondered how you managed to sneak away without a scratch, but hopefully it would be the last time you had to.

“i need to talk to you about something,” grayson started, pulling at your hand to bring you further into the backyard, standing in the grass just beside the pool. he was nervous, palms sweating already. this was a big moment, and it could change everything for them.

“is it about the last piece of banana bread? cause i ate that like a week ago and if you just now noticed maybe you don’t really love it like you claim you-“ you started, teasing him with a smile. always the jokester. he wondered how you found the strength the smile. but he cut you off before you could finish. his frown had your smile wilting.

“i know he’s hitting you. don’t try and hide it either like you always do. you always try and cover up his abuse and his fucking disgusting behavior. and i understand you’re scared, y/n. but this ends now. i don’t care what i have to do to make you see you deserve better but this...this isn’t it. you have so much to give and deserve someone that would burn the whole fucking world down to keep you safe. so stop pretending and tell me the truth.” there it was. that face he was dreading. the face of absolute terror.

he knew. he fucking knew.

you thought you had been good at hiding it from him, from everyone really. even your mother loved your boyfriend. she often said he was “good for you” that she was happy you found him when you did because “he’s the only one that’s really ever gotten you under control”. you haven’t talked to her in months, to say the least.

grayson recieves a chest rattling silence. something he wasn’t expecting from a girl that was known for word vomit and stuttering all over herself trying to get a thought out fast enough before it slipped away. but you stared at him with wide, misty eyes. you were scared - frozen in his backyard. you couldn’t believe he had come right out and called you on your bullshit. but you knew it was coming, you tried your hardest to hide it, but grayson wasn’t stupid.

with a slow shake of your head, you swallow the tears threatening to escape your eyes. you won’t be weak in front of grayson. you spent so much time being weak because of him, but no, not in front of grayson. he deserved better than someone that couldn’t even escape a white boy she fell for after a run in at the movie theater. he deserves someone that can fight for herself.

“so you know. you and ethan i’m assuming?”

a nod with more silence. he is watching you, not exactly staring, but certainly focused on watching you try and hold yourself together. you know ethan is somewhere close by, watching this go down from his own little hide out. you’re half tempted to yell out to the house and tell him to get the hell out there and face you, but then you know you’d have to confess the truth in front of not one, but two of the most important people in your life.

“...what then? you want me to sit here and cry? you want me to break down and talk to you about all the times i’ve come over here and lied? pretending everything was okay and putting a smile on my face? because believe it or not this is my safe place and i’d rather not think of him. you make me forget. i just wanted to forget and i know that hurts you that i didn’t say anything but i don’t know what i’m supposed to do right now gray...” your voice is thick with emotion, hands coming up to twist at the flowy tank top resting on your torso. it suddently became very chilly in the backyard that felt previously warm in the suns dying moments until morning.

“i’m not letting this go. not like all those times before. i had my suspicions, had those little clues that would pop out when i reached to tuck your hair out of your face, or help you with the laundry you still do even when you don’t have to. you would jump, y/n...from me. and i would never,” he swallows, you can feel all the strength it’s taking him not to show you just how much he wants to cry, “i would never, hurt you. there isn’t a bone in my body that would ever touch you in any way other than love and adoration. i know it’s because of him. he’s - he’s fucking sick, y/n. he’s twisted and made it almost impossible for you to live a normal life. you snuck over here didn’t you? it’s nearly 8.” you know he won’t let it go until you answer, so you give him another small nod, biting at your bottom lip and flinching at the tear that drops down onto your cheek. it would wash away that pathetic layer of concealer you put on, exposing more of the purplish bruise he left there.

“where is he? let me guess - he said he was going to “tanners” right?” his voice remains calm, with just a hint of a grit there to show how truly disgusted he was by the man that abused you time and time again.

another nod and small sniffle.

you felt like a child getting caught by your parents for sneaking out.

you and grayson both knew there was no tanner. there was and never would be. it was just another girl he decided to fuck around with before coming back to control you, make you feel like the disloyal one. make you feel like the monster.

“and what happens when he comes back and you’re not there huh? what happens if he comes back early and wants you to text him a picture of where you are? actually fuck that have you even thought that maybe the psychopath put a tracker on your phone? ...why are you back away? hey hey come here it’s okay i’m not mad at you,” grayson is trailing off into an apology when he notices the distance beginning to grow between your two bodies. he was near yelling at the end of his little speech and you’ve learned enough to know what yelling means. of course he said he wouldn’t hurt you, but that’s exactly what he said in the beginning too. and look where you are now.

before you can back away from his touch any further, he’s tugging you into a hug, cradling the back of your head against his chest. his heart beat was steady, the calm thumping easing your own nerves. he never held you like this. grayson wasn’t him. it was unfair to be afraid of everyone because someone tried to stifle your fire. with your body tucked into his arms, grayson rocks side to side on the bottom of his shoes, eyes closed and chin resting on the top of your head. you liked to be held when you’re upset and overwhelmed and he knew it. it helped ground you.

he’s pulling away too soon, swiping a hand through his hair in frustration. you know it’s hard for grayson to express his emotions sometimes. giving him the same patience he gives you is the least you could do. you stand quietly in front of the tall block of muscle, arms crossed once again - a comfort mechanism you’ve taken up over the past few months - and wait for him to sort his thoughts out and try again.

“i didn’t mean to yell but dammit, y/n. i mean it when i say you can trust me. i know he’s ruined so many things but this - us - isn’t going to be one of them. he doesn’t get the satisfaction of pushing us apart. you -“ a huff “you’re too...special to let go. and it’s his own fault he can’t see it.” from the dead serious look in his hazel eyes, you know he means every word.

you wouldn’t say grayson is entirely closed off, especially when he’s always touching you in secret, tender ways when no one else is looking. he tells you secrets he’s scared to tell anyone else. he’s not a secret. he’s just in some way...scared just like you.

“gray i don’t know what to tell you...it’s not as easy as you’re making it seem. and yeah he has ways of tracking me i’m sure, but i can’t just go without you you idiot. that would kill me. it would fucking break me and i hate that you’re making me admit it.” he frowns at the break in your voice.

“leave him,” graysons voice is soft, but more serious than you’ve ever heard it. so deep rooted with...something you can’t quite catch...that it makes you shiver.

“gray...”

it’s not that simple. you can’t leave a man that has his grip on you too tight. you can’t just leave a man that has made it his goal to make sure it never happens. you can’t just leave because you wish to be with the love of your life...you can’t just...want love when you’re trapped with no hope of escape. especially when that very same person whose love you yearn for is promising it to you, unknowing of the sure consequence.

he doesn’t give you a chance to turn him down, say anything more that will certainly be a way to weasel yourself out of this. he knows you’re in denial, denial of what there is blossoming between you, the bod consuming desire to always be touching whenever you are together - whether it be a pinky hooked around another, an arm over your shoulder, an arm around his waist, fingers massaging at your scalp. whatever it was, it was real.

“might i make a suggestion gray?” ethan frowns, biting at the skin of his bottom lip, now raw with his anxious assault.

“whatever it is make it good because i’m not changing my mind,” grayson grunted, slicing his bananas at a quicker pace. he’d have to build up strength for this conversation, lord knows it’s going to tire him out. you’re a tough one to crack. another reason that he fucking loved you so much.

“tell her how you feel before it’s too late. i’m sure you’ll be pleased with the outcome.”

how could he be so sure?

fire twists in your tummy as grayson inches towards you, eyes narrowed right at your own misty orbs. with irises blown out and black, he tucks that cussed piece of hair behind your ear. with his fingers feathering across the skin of your cheekbone, another tear drops to your cheek. it streaks a hot river across the skin, chipping away that milky concealer, a mask to hide the evil. the way he gazed at you like you were and always would be the most beautiful treasure, only made you confirm to yourself that it was torture to love someone you were scared to have.

“i know you feel this...don’t fight it...just let me show you how good this can feel...how it’s supposed to feel” his voice had switched from one of raw emotion to one of earnest and...need.

within an instant he is grabbing your face and pulling you close by the back of your neck, a hand digging deeply into your mane of hair. he made a fist to secure you to him, afraid if he let go you might disappear. another hand was pressed against your cheek - being careful to not apply direct pressure to your bruise, instead rubbing it tenderly with his thumb. his touch not only eased the pain, but the memories that matched themselves to it. soft plump lips landed on yours perfectly with a hum resonating in his chest. it was a pathetic, needy sound - one that made you aware that he really meant it. he’s been waiting for this. to have your lips smashed up against his. it was like an itch he’s been waiting to scratch, now relieved. he takes his time to let himself feel his way through the kiss - initially feeling your shocked lips at a stand still.

he almost backs away in defeat, but then... you’re sighing, a satisfied, eager sigh tossed between the two of you. biting at his bottom lip felt like a burst of unashamed power coursing through your veins. your tiny nimble fingers are tugging at his white cotton t-shirt and pulling him even closer if possible, goose flesh tracking from your shoulders down to your fingertips. youve kissed let that be known, a guy here or there, but none of those kisses had ever felt like this. before registering how much trouble you would get in if he ever found out what you were doing and how good it felt doing it, you are tilting your head to the side and moving your lips against his greedily. humming into his mouth and pushing your front against his flat. fuck his kiss felt so good. his lips were patient and languid, lapping like smooth waves of the ocean. persistent.

his hands made sure to move your face just the right way, get just the right angle, sure he could feel you turning weak at the knees already. not anything like any other kiss you’ve been given. it’s patient, tender, purposeful - that purpose being to convey just how much you mean to him and always will mean. the way he’s kissing you is a desperate move to tell you how he feels without having to say it just yet. this is everything you’ve ever wanted but never knew you could have, or feel, or want.

his tongue is slipping into your mouth when you gasp in shock at the electric fire burning through your senses and into every nerve in your body. your hands feel tiny on his massive biceps, but he loves the feeling of your thumbs rubbing at his skin while he kisses you so deep. your tongues danced together, the kiss stealing your breath away. it was fierce and passionate, everything you thought kissing him would be like. you had daydreamed about this moment forever, and you couldn’t believe it was finally happening. especially not like this. not when you’re a damsel in distress, waving your pathetic hand at the top of the tower in hopes your knight in shining armor would come and save you. the day had finally come.

he’s pulling away slowly, begrudgingly, panting from working his mouth so hard against yours. wanting to take it farther than a kiss, but understanding enough to know it would take a lot more time to be at that poin - no matter how bad you both wanted it. your trauma lurked beneath the surface, a fight for another day. he poured everything into that kiss. the rosy red color of his skin being a testament to that. he hoped you knew just how much it meant to him. from the way you stared at his mouth in a trance, he knew it meant just as much to you. the look of wanting in your eyes made him shiver.

“you want me?”

the best you give him is a puffed out “yes” between your lips, staring at his own longingly. it was a pathetic sound, a cringe fighting to shrink in your shoulders and hide yourself from him, but you accepted it as it came. you wanted more. you thought for a split second that you couldn’t imagine never feeling that again. electric. strong. like fireworks igniting in your body over and over. your eyes travel slowly from his mouth to his soft wishful eyes, feeling the sudden urge to cry again.

“leave him for me,” his whisper is pained, vulnerable and aching for you to want him back. need him back. love him back.

“but i can’t have you, you know i can’t. he won’t allow me to leave him.” God it killed you to even say it. You wanted to throw caution to the wind, and in a way you had, but to throw it all out would mean putting him in the line of fire - and you didn’t know if you could bare seeing him burnt.

“yes you can, you can have me. every hour of everyday. you can fucking have me. you have always had me, y/n. i think you know that. i can’t lie anymore. not when it means this much to me. he won’t keep you a prisoner. i refuse for it to happen. i know you want this as much as i do. i feel it. i’ve always felt it. if you don’t leave for you, then leave for me. just...you have to let me protect you.”

the way he says it, just holding you in place, forehead resting against yours in an attempt to stop the tears bubbling behind his eyes. it killed him to see you caged like an animal when you wanted so badly to be free. he would do whatever the fuck he needed to do and he swore his life on it. whether you believed it or not.

“but how? he’s a psycho grayson the man beat me for getting gas without telling him. i was gone for 5 minutes.“

“i know sh, i know it sounds crazy and reckless,”

“really reckless,” you tutted, popping your lips out in a dissatisfied pout. it was cute but he needed to focus.

“- just hear me out. me and ethan have a plan that involves no contact, and if he does show up i don’t think you are underestimating the lengths we will go to, to make sure he doesn’t lay a finger on this beautiful body of yours. he doesn’t get to have you anymore, he abused that privilege, literally. he didn’t appreciate and cherish what he had so now it’s over. you won’t ever have to see him again. but it’s gonna take a little cooperation and for you to be that sneaky little detective i know that you are.” he waits for your reaction, confused that your eyes are still closed, your thumbs still rubbing at his forearms. it was peaceful. for the first time, you felt protected. and really understood. important. valued. loved. whole fuck you felt loved.

“i don’t know how much help i can be,” you choked, voice a lot weaker than you wanted it to sound. truth is, it was taking every bone in your body not to kiss him again, get that fire ignited again. but you had to focus. one battle at a time. beat the dragon, then you get the prince.

“how about this, you and i, we go back in the house, i’ll sit you down on the counter - yeah that’s right the counter - because i don’t give a fuck if ethan thinks it’s unsanitary. i’m gonna cook you you’re favorite meal, kiss those beautiful lips for as long as i want,” he pauses to dip his head down, pecking your lips slowly as an example, a butterfly flew through your core, wings licking at the buzzing nerves, “and explain every tiny detail until you understand just how serious we are about getting you away from that sick creep. i may be persistent but my brother is a determined mother fucker too and he cares about you, y/n. as much as he loves to tease you and throw his little tantrums when you eat the last piece of pizza - he cares so much. and he wants you to be safe. to be with us. be with me...if that’s what you want.”

“as in like...live with you? are you sure that’s a good idea? i mean i kind of have a crazy guy on my back you sure you guys want that baggage?” you’re tone is lighthearted and witty, but he knows that’s just you trying to hide how nervous you were.

“you know, when you love someone, their baggage becomes your baggage. you have that weight together and find the strength to carry it along the way. at least that’s what i’ve found out.”

when you love someone

when he loves someone

when grayson loves...

he loves you

“you love me?” the gleam in your eye is too obvious to miss, the excitement of a child, the joy of a rich man, the satisfaction of a sinner, the bliss of a saint.

“maybe a little,” he grins, lips dropping onto random areas of your face, making their way slowly down, down, down to your blush pink lips. the feeling of them puckering had him pulling you closer again.

“is it too much to ask that you say it again? just for good measure.” your request has him chuckling in your ear, hair tickling you when he bobs his head in a nod.

“i love you,” he sighs, finger hooked under your jaw to tilt your head to the side, sealing his lips down onto yours again. breathing in the sweet scent of your perfume. it drowned his every sense.

it felt so fucking good to say that.

it sounded like your favorite melody. and somehow, as cheesy as it sounded, it gave you strength. gave you that extra power you needed to know that this life did have a purpose beyond pain and misery. it had people like grayson. people like ethan. people that cared about you. people that protected you. people that were ready to do anything they had to do just to make sure you knew how loved you really were.

“i love you too.” it slipped out without you knowing. your hand itched to slap over your mouth, cover up the ultimate betrayal against the monster somewhere off in LA cheating on you again, planning his next attack against you. but no, you wouldn’t feel guilty about loving him. not when it’s the strongest emotion you’ve ever felt. not when it was the truth. and not when he’s cradling you in his arms promising a future beyond the pain and sadness you’ve been stuck in for so long. so for good measure, and just because it felt like a breath of fresh air, you say it again, “i love you.”

“oh fuck,” he breathes through a disbelieving grin, picking you up by the back of your thighs and spinning you around in circles. your legs hooked around his waist tightly, squealing laughter echoing throughout the backyard. this is the freest you’ve felt in so so long. he slows down to a sway once again, turning your head to kiss you slowly, pushing his tongue between your lips to dance with yours again.

“slow down, slow down, we still have something to do yeknow,” you breathe, a lazy smile aimed at his own delighted eyes. he looked so free and it shocked out for some reason that you were the cause of that look.

“no no you’re right i’m sorry, i’m just happy. feels good when you know the girl you love is safe for once. but i guess we do have to go talk to ethan about the insufferable douchebag you chose to date for whatever ungodly reason. must have had a magical dick or something cause the man is lacking in all other categories,” grayson mocks, setting you back into the flats on your feet and imtertwining your fingers together, leading you back toward the house where you presume ethan is waiting somewhere close by.

“actually no, he never really uh...finished the job in that department. was kind of selfish. but i managed,” you tut, rubbing your thumb over the skin on his hand, loving the feeling of him against you in any way you could get. you knew you were so touch starved, but didn’t care if it felt this good.

he stopped at the sliding glass door, face dully lit by the yellow of the light from the kitchen, pointing a defined eyebrow at you in a displeased scowl, the fucker didn’t even make you cum? with a shake of his head he’s sliding the glass door open, ready to talk to his brother and start the plan for your escape. hes ready to see you thrive again. he knows neither he, nor ethan will rest until you have shaken every form of contact with the spineless monster you’re controlled by daily. this plan will be his religion until it is completed. he turns his head to look at you, a smirk on his delicious soft lips, licking at them quickly.

“we will be changing that, make no mistake.”

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emiewritesthings · 4 years

Text

little miss cupid - jay halstead

jay halstead x fem!reader

summary: in which y/n tries to introduce jay to the world of online dating.

requested?: nope (but requests are open :))

warnings: unedited, gif not mine

masterlist

“okay, now we need to pick some pictures for your profile.” y/n was sure that jay had stopped listening ages ago, but the man besides her had not moved from his position looking over her shoulder. his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to his body.

strangely, this wasn’t unusual for a friday night. at least for them anyways.

it wasn’t a secret that y/n was known as the cupid in her friendship group. she had been the one to introduce mouch to trudy, the one to track down donna when boden had expressed interest in the teacher and she had been the one to nudge kim and adam to pursue their relationship (not one she bragged about considering the way they had ended not so long ago).

but the one person she couldn’t crack happened to be her best friend. ever since they had met 11 years ago, y/n could only recall jay ever having one real girlfriend. even that had ended after a couple of months due to the two having a row about jay not giving her enough attention.

y/n had tried setting him up with old friends, new friends, even people she had gone to the academy with. but it was no use, jay always found an excuse not to go or why they ‘weren’t the one’. beginning to doubt her own cupid-like abilities, she had resorted to the pat possible option besides from him being alone forever: online dating.

“okay what we working with here, big boy?” y/n’s finger was steady as she scrolled through his photo library. smiling briefly at how the majority of his photos were of the pair. whether they were silly pictures she had taken whilst they were in the way to a crime scene, or snaps of nights they’d spent watching classics, or even drunk pictures that y/n had hoped never to see again.

“what about that one?” jay pointed towards the corner picture, drawing y/n’s attention to the man. she took in the way his eyes had lightened a whole three shades, but his eyes were not on the phone, instead they were studying each intricate detail of her face.

he loved the way part of her eyebrow missed a few strands of hair due to a small scar based on a work injury. he loved the way her lips were a bright shade of pink due to the way she would bit her bottom lip while concentrating. he loved her.

“jay you can’t use that one, i’m in it.” y/n giggled, the picture had been taken on jay’s birthday a couple of months back. unlike his normal attire, he was dressed out in a nice shirt that he only brought out for special events and occasions. his arms held the woman that was perched upon his lap, arms around his neck as she smiled widely.

“why not? you look beautiful.” jay argued back, making a blush appear on the cheeks of them both. a strange sensation filling her stomach and spreading warmth through her veins.

“uh-thank you.” eyes wide, jay seemed to realise his slip up. bringing his hand up to scratch the back of his neck, y/n had half expected for him to release her from their close proximity, but neither of them dared breaking contact. “-but your future girlfriend doesn’t want to see you holding some other woman, they want to see you shirtless, or you with a puppy. something that speaks for itself about what you are like, you know?”

the look of thought covered his face for no more than a second, his finger slowly tracing down her arm calmly. y/n tried not to melt into his touch, not knowing why she felt so vulnerable, so weak.

"well this photo tells them about the woman i love the most.”

it wasn’t that y/n didn’t know this. jay was the most important man in her life. he was the only one that had always been there since the age of just 17. she was not sure if it was possible to care more about a person than the affection she shared for jay. yet hearing it out loud felt euphoric.

“i think i am beginning to see why you are so single.” the pair laughed along, as y/n took the initiative to take over creating the man’s profile. jay had switched his attention over to the netflix series they had been watching, yet his thoughts circulated around his girl.

a little over an hour went by, before y/n handed jay his phone back. a proud smile on her face, as she leant her chin against his chest, watching his reaction to what she considered a masterpiece. jay’s eyebrows raised in surprise, as his thumb ran over the screen studying her work.

“wow,” he let out a deep breath, his hot breath gracing over her face. “you’re good.” it was true, jay knew that if he had ever tried to do this, he would have given up at the first hurdle. y/n hummed in agreement, leaning over to press something on his screen.

the pair began making their way through the different profiles, y/n let jay take the lead, seeing as he would have to be the one talking to the women. except it seemed that jay had picked something wrong out with every woman he saw, swiping left over and over and over again.

“jay.” she whined, throwing her head back in annoyance.

“y/n.” he mirrored her tone. rolling her eyes, she took the phone back.

“there are not going to be any women left if you don’t give any of them a chance,” her finger swiping right on every profile she believed would match the man she knew. “do you know how many women would die for a hot detective?” y/n continued to giggle, not realising the seriousness that possessed jay’s face.

“but not you.” jay mumbled absentmindedly. snapping her head in his direction, y/n frowned.

“huh?”

“nothing.” jay felt stupid, incredibly stupid. the thoughts he had kept in the depth of his mind had found themselves on the tip of his tongue. unfortunately, he knew that he had not friended the woman over her passiveness, no she was direct and would not allow him to get away with such a pass away comment.

“come on, what do you mean not me?” the room became smaller the more jay let the silence lay. his breath shaking, considering that this might be the moment he had been dreading. the moment he told the truth.

“you know i still remember the first time we met,” the change in direction of conversation caught y/n off guard, but she didn’t dare interrupt, as he watched him with glossy eyes. “i still remember the floral dress that you walked in old man chambers’ english class. it was your first day and everyone was talking about the pretty girl. ryan roscoe tried to grab your ass and you kicked him in the balls. it was in that moment that i knew i would fall in love with you.” an unreadable emotion washed over y/n’s face, as jay strived through the courage thriving through his body. “i tried for years to get you to look at me in a way that wasn’t your ‘best friend’, but you never did.”

y/n didn’t know at what point that they had begin to lean in, but the two soon recognised how close their faces had become. y/n didn’t know how she was feeling, except the fact she had not desire to pull away. instead, she brought her hand up to rest on his jaw, the pad of her thumb running down his cheek.

“you never told me any of this until now, why?” it was a valid question, 11 years of friendship, 11 years of unspoken feelings, why now?

“things feel... different now.” it was undeniable, something in the air suffocated them with something that made them feel alive, a feeling the pair had only felt in the presence of the other.

jay’s eyes didn’t pull up from her lips, the feeling of her touch on his face was unexplainable. he wasn’t sure if it was possible to feel this was with anyone other than y/n y/l/n. jay didn’t know how he had gained so much bravery in such a short space of time, but he didn’t dare ponder on it. using it to his advantage.

“can i- can i kiss you?” jay didn’t receive the verbal response he was waiting for. instead in a flash moment, the plump lips he had been examining pressed against his own. the first kiss was soft, passionate, allowing every feeling they had ever considered flood through their action, reminding the other how long this had been building up. by the second kiss, the sentimentality had been replaced by lust, pulling the other close, as though they were waiting for the moment they woke from this dream.

when her breath had ran out, y/n hesitantly pulled away from jay. the stinging in her lips and erratic beating of her heart was addicting. her mind remained foggy, until a thought passed her mind.

“i wish you would have told me this before i spent an hour creating your tinder profile, think about all the hearts you have just broken!” she giggled, swatting his chest lightly, watching as he chuckled deeply.

“shut up and come here.” jay teased, flipping them over and pushing his lips against her own. drowning in the middling of their heartbeats and body heats. and for the first time, the infamous matchmaker of the 21st precinct had found her match.

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cokris · 3 years

Text

I FINALLY SAW THE RK MOVIE YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!!!

And of course I have feelings

Also, I never saw the OVA really (just AMVS I think?) so I don't know the names of anybody

Spoilers I guess?

Reactions in real time:

- uhhhhhhhhhhhhh hot damn! he just kills everyone, so different from all the other movies where he just... hurts them

- oh hi there actor that I can't remember your name but I remember you from Alice in Borderlands (Nijiro I think?) and bonus long haired and cigarrete free Saito :)

- oh hi there other actor that I also can't remember your name but I remember you from the shogi movie with Kamiki (And the Jojo live action that I'm looking everywhere to watch but can't find... Issei Takahashi I think is your name?)

- awwww bb kubota, dying again, awwww (although... if you love someone and want to live... like... pretend to be dead, I won't care if people call you a coward, you'd be alive)

- first meeting with Tomoe yeahhhh!!

- oh wow... that's not the face I'd made if someone splashed blood over me like... I guess emotionless face just doesn't work for me (also the fainting was...something)

- haha... this is not a brothel XD heartless killer roasted by the land lady

- oh, less expresionless face, I'm starting to like her. And I like that she questions Kenshin's killing policy

- How can they walk in that? I'd be falling all over the place

- As someone who rarely smiles around strangers... that was rude dude

- Do they have like...2 sets? oh ok no, they went out to the streets as I was writing this

- oh wow Shisengumi are badass (are they shisengumi? My brain can't keep up with all the the political divisions)

- FIGHTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT! I love those "whoosh whoosh" sounds that swords make... oh no he is hurt, will he die? I hope not. A wild Saito appeared!

- Yeah, that Kenshin vs Saito is for the next movie. Go dye your hair Saito and wait for your turn

- How is Okita struting his way into the city when he was spitting his guts up 5 minutes ago?

(Also, I don't know if this is a tkr thing but I love how he always is freaking eating, does he puts this in his contract?)

- Awww this was a cruel foreshadowing

- Katsura the matchmaker <3

- Oh so enemies to fake dating to lovers trope? I don't remember it being like that but ok. Domestic Kenshin is best Kenshin

- "You're eating hungrily" (I don't know if my translations are correct) but yeah of course he is eating like that, Amuse doesn't feed him that's why he left

- OMG CONFESSION!!!!!!!!!!!!

- WAIT WHAT? Ok that was unexpected. A wild Enishi appeared

- Shouldn't you be asking how the brother found her? Aren't you supposed to be like... incognito?

- She wasn't supposed to find the weakness, she will become the weakness (I went "oh no!" and then "wait... I already know this why am I surprised?")

- What?! how?! Is this the mountain from Kimetsu no Yaiba? The one where tanjirou trains? like...what?!

- The fuck is happening right now? I guess this is where the budget went. EXPLOSIONS EVERYWHERE!!!

- Oh no!!!

(I thought the first movie choose a wrong shot but omg...please girl emote a little more, at least flinch a little, they are killing you! And you were doing good so far)

- Why does she cut him though? Was it for the aesthetic? The symmetry?

- Is it Shishio? They are talking about Shishio right? The one who is as good as Kenshin with the sword?

- Why doesn't he bury her? Or cremates her? Oh he does cremate her but of course like that because he is dramatic AF.

- Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh now we are back to the beginning...literally. Nice

- I can't believe is been 10 years since the first movie...time sure flies

- ngl, I'M LOVING this loop, now this scene has even more impact

- 10 years alright

- I'm kinda crying *///*

Aw man... all in all, I liked it, it kind of dragged a little but I liked it (better than The Final, that one was a bit too much fight and not too much story. Good action movie, not so much to my liking storywise)

If I had to rank them...then: 1-5-3 (for the 4vs1 fight that I ADORE)-2-4. Maybe 3-2 are tied because the fight scenes in those are amazing and of course...Masha

I still remember when tkr was announced as Kenshin and people went "him?" but now, he became the character, he is Kenshin. This movie made me feel nostalgic and I wish it had a longer run in the theaters but can't deny I'm glad I could watch it in my country via Netflix at least.

4 scars out of 5 for this movie :)

#rurouni kenshin #movie #my opinion #personal #phew that was long #a lot of words I guess #tl:dr #I liked it... 4 out of 5

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ethelphantom · 4 years

Text

Into the... Wait, we’re all what now?

As it turns out, I’m horrible at keeping things as one-shots, so now you’re getting a continuation of the fic in which Mari falls into the DC verse. Using Maribat March is definitely a wonderful way to continue these things. Also, yes, this means you can ask to be tagged to the story from now on. There is at least one more thing to write about this if not more.

Ao3 || first part

This is Maribat -- don’t like; don’t read

______________________________

It was way too late to be up and awake but apparently, that was precisely what Marinette was anyway. Sighing, she pushed the covers aside, slipped on a pair of fluffy socks and made her way to the kitchen through the seemingly endless halls of the Wayne Manor.

As she got into the kitchen, she checked the clock from the microwave oven. It was only 3.29 am. Damn it. She hated the fact she couldn’t sleep. She also hated the fact they hadn’t yet figured out a way back to her own world. The Amazons didn’t know anything about the miraculous — her own world was a cartoon in their world, it turned out, and she kind of knew her partner’s identity, as well as Papillon’s and Mayura’s identities, which, poor Chaton. Hopefully, the Parisians were doing fine without her there to capture and purify the Akuma —, though Wonder Woman had said she could still try to look further into it.

She was glad that Diana had promised to do that because Marinette really would have preferred to be home, especially since speaking English all the time got very tiring. There weren't many people she could speak French with, not really. Dick knew some French, Bruce could speak French, and Tim was able to hold up a simple conversation for a while, but it... It wasn't really enough.

It wasn’t that she didn’t enjoy being with the Wayne family, no. She loved the family and kind of considered them her other family aside from her Maman and Papa. She’d even been officially adopted to the family in their world’s eyes so it wouldn’t confuse anyone as to why a random girl suddenly hung out with them without dating any of them. It had been Tim’s idea, Bruce had decided it was a good one, and then they’d asked Marinette if that was something she was okay with. She was. It wasn’t like her family was in this world or universe anyway, and it was nice to know she belonged somewhere. Besides, she fit the pattern — black hair, blue eyes. The only ones who didn't have both but had black hair anyway were Cass and Damian, really.

It was a little amusing that the only one who was actually related to Bruce looked like him the least if they ignored his facial structure.

Quietly, she tiptoed around the kitchen, having already given up on the idea of sleep at this point. She made night snacks for herself and poured herself a cup of coffee, sighing happily as she inhaled the bitter smell of it. The coffee was scalding hot as she took a sip — just how she liked it. The drink warmed her hands as she held the cup which was nice, seeing as the Manor was rather cold at night.

Marinette settled herself at the small table in the kitchen that was mostly meant for anyone who really, really didn’t want to eat with the rest of the family and opened her phone, meaning to go through her Tumblr feed and maybe watch Netflix. She'd even been ready to just start watching a new show when she was interrupted.

What caused the interruption was someone trying to get a mug out of the cupboard quietly and instead dropping one on the ground. Thank god it was the sole plastic mug in the entire manor, so nothing broke.

Marinette turned to look at the source of the voice and found Tim staring at the ground with what looked like grief in the dim light of her phone. She would’ve understood if there was coffee or if it had been Tim’s favourite mug (as that one could be broken — Jay had threatened to do it once or twice by now, actually), but no. Nothing was broken, nothing had spilt on the ground, nothing needed to be cleaned up.

So what was it?

When Marinette raised her eyebrow at Tim as he finally looked at her, Tim just sighed and shook his head. “‘S nothing, Nette, don’t worry ‘bout it,” he told her, crouching to pick up the mug. “Haven’t slept much, nothing more than that. I thought there had been coffee for a second.”

Marinette nodded, understanding what he was on about, and continued reading. It was only when Tim dropped down on the chair in front of her that she paid attention to him again. He had his laptop out and was frowning at his screen.

“A case?”

“Yeah. A series of murders, three robbed stores, riddles and a string of witnesses that refuse to say anything kind of scream multiple of our villains, and I’m not sure who to investigate first, or if it was a collective effort of theirs, or if someone is impersonating them and trying to frame all of them. None of them has claimed the crimes either, which is a little unusual and a lot disturbing,” he told her and turned the screen around for her to see. Indeed, there was a list of possible culprits and the chance of an unknown and the details of the crime.

“I can see why this is troubling you,” Marinette sighed and turned her eyes from the screen back to Tim again. “I cannot believe I’m suggesting this, but what if you slept and then looked at it again? I know you tend to try solving problems even in your dreams, so there’s that as well, but also your brain might want to brain better after sleeping.”

It took her a moment before she realised what she said, but when she did, she groaned and rubbed her hand on her face. “I can’t believe I just used a noun as a verb. Please kill me or knock me out so I could sleep.”

Tim just laughed at her. That asshole.

“What are you two doin’, drinkin’ coffee at this hour?”

Marinette jumped, startled that someone had managed to sneak up on them even in the silence of the night. She turned around to see the slightly glowing eyes of Jason and let out a sigh of relief, bringing a hand to her hear. “God, Jay, you scared me. A guy your size shouldn’t be allowed to move so quietly,” she whined and let her forehead hit the table. Jason only barely managed to snatch her cup away from her way so it wouldn’t fall down and that all her coffee wouldn’t end up on the floor.

She murmured her thanks into the table as Jason patted her head, laughing at her quietly. She would kick his ass in the morning for that. Maybe. After all, he had just saved her coffee.

This time, Marinette noticed when someone entered. She couldn’t bother to turn her head to look at them, though. They would make themselves known to the rest of them soon enough.

No, actually. There were two people. One of them had a very soft walk, barely audible, but now that Marinette was listening, she was able to find it. A hand touched her hair, gently pushing it away from her eyes and tucking it behind her ear. When Marinette looked up, just a little, she found the dark eyes of Cass staring at her. Marinette gave her a weak smile in return.

They don’t talk, not really. The time passed by as Cass just sat on the floor next to Marinette, Tim tried to solve his case, and Jason and Dick were talking (or fighting) about something in hushed voices again. None of the others, except for Cass, obviously, because she noticed everything, paid attention to the small frame that appeared in the doorway. Marinette did. She stood up, stretched and walked to Damian.

She didn’t touch him. She wasn’t sure if it was okay right now. Instead, she watched for any signs of what had happened, or reactions to anyone in the kitchen. Nothing. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Damian shook his head. “No. It was merely an unfortunately timed nightmare, I can survive.”

“I know you can. You’re strong like that. It just doesn’t mean you have to survive on your own, alone. It’s also a strength to recognise when you—,” Marinette yawned. She hadn’t slept in a too long time. “—When you need others for support.”

When Damian lingered in the doorway a little too long, his eyes going between the floor and Marinette. Marinette just opened her arms and let Damian walk into them before embracing him. “Do you want a hug? I can tell none of them you wanted a hug if that helps. We can also go to the living room if that sounds better?”

Damian nodded. Marinette shot Cass a text to drag the rest of them to the living room in about half an hour with pillows, blankets and mattresses. They all needed sleep, or at least rest, and maybe they could get that in a pillow fort?

The two of them went on ahead, and once they were there, Marinette sat on the couch and waited for Damian to come there with her. He, a little reluctantly and hesitating a lot, took careful steps towards her before he too was sitting on the couch and curling up against Marinette. She smiled and pulled him closer, securing them under a blanket.

Maybe he’d feel safer from the nightmares this way.

About half an hour later (though both Damian and Marinette had dosed off already), the rest of the family made their way to the living room, everything Marinette had asked from Cass with them. They built a pillow fort for them as quietly as possible, one of them always watching over Damian and Marinette so to make sure they didn’t wake up. Heavens knew both of them needed the sleep, and they didn’t want to try their luck and see if they would fall asleep again.

After it was done, Jason picked Marinette up in his arms as Dick carried Damian in his, and carefully laid them down on the mattresses before tucking both in. Tim and Cass curled up the closest to the two, Jason and Dick surrounding the smallest four of them the last. It was comfortable and much warmer than it usually was in the house, six bodies all huddled close.

Aside from how none of them knew how to not sprawl over everyone else, it was the most peaceful and well slept night any of them had had in years.

________________________

@kris-pines04 @thethirdwheelfriend @maribat-is-lifeblood @abrx2002 @persephonebutkore @rebecarojas07 @corabeth11 @kadmeread @silverwhiteraven @marinettepotterandplagg @freshbark @maribat-march2020 @catsandfanfic @fertileleaf @eat0crow @cutechip

#Into the DC verse #Maribat #ml x dc #dc x mlb #dc #miraculous ladybug #ml #fanfic #fanfiction #ethel's writing

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generallypo · 4 years

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“I heard your voice, so I came... Aoba-san.”

Hooo-boy, if that doesn’t get me emotional every single time. Call it my bias for eccentric bundles of sunshine and softness, or my crippling weakness for the secretly-handsome-and-devastatingly-earnest type, but you can’t change my mind: Clear is, hands down, DMMD’s best love interest. Character development-wise, thematically, romantically, he nails every trial thrown at him, gets his man, and proceeds to break your heart in the tenderest, sincerest way possible. I am hopping with Huge Fan Energy, so this post is gonna be unapologetically long and self-indulgent and grossly enthusiastic. Yeeeee.

————

Look, DMMD meta analysis has been done to death, I get it. This game is old. But I think it stands as testament to its excellent production that it’s still a game worth revisiting years later — especially during these times when social contact is so hard pressed to come by and we all rabidly devour digital media like a horde of screeching feral gremlins. (Have you seen Netflix’s stock value now? The exploding MMO server populations? Astonishing.) It’s pure, simple human nature to want to connect, to cling to members of our network out of biological imperative and our psychological dependency on each other. As cold and primitive at that sounds, social contact also fulfills us on a higher level: the community is always stronger than the individual; genuine trust begets a mutually supportive relationship of exchange and evolution. People learn from each other, and grow into stronger, wiser, better versions of themselves.

Yeah, I’m being deliberately obtuse about this. Of course I’m talking about Clear. Clear, who is a robot. Clear, who is nearly childlike in his insatiable curiosity regarding the human condition.

And it’s a classic literary tactic, using non-human entities to question the intangible constructs of a concept like ‘humanity’ — think Frankenstein, or Tokyo Ghoul, or Detroit: Become Human, among so, so many works in various media — all tackling that question from countless angles, all with varying measures of success. What does it mean to be human? To be good? Who are we, and where do we stand in the grand scheme of things? Is there even a scheme to follow? … Wait, what?

Jokes aside, there are so many ways that the whole approaching-human-yet-not-quite-there schtick can be abused into edgy, joyless existential griping. Nothing wrong with that if it’s what you’re looking for, except that we’re talking about a boys’ love game here. But DMMD neatly, sweetly side steps that particular wrinkle, giving us a wonderfully grounded character to work with as a result.

Character Design — a see-through secret

Let’s start small: Clear’s design and premise. Unlike so many other lost, clueless robo-lambs across media, Clear does have a small guiding presence early on in his life. It takes the form of his grandfather, who teaches Clear about the world while also sheltering him from his origins. It means he learns enough to blend sufficiently into society; it also means that Clear has even more questions that sprout from his limited understanding of the world.

Told that he must never remove his mask lest he expose his identity as a non-human, Clear’s perpetual fear of rejection for what he is drives much of his eccentricity and challenges him throughout much of his route. As for the player, the mystery of what lies underneath his mask is a carrot that the writers get to dangle until the peak moment of emotional payoff. Even if it’s not hard to guess that there’s probably a hottie of legendary proportions stuck under there, there’s still significance in waiting for that good moment to happen. And when it does, it feels great.

His upbringing contextualizes and affirms his odd choice of fashion: deliberately generic, bashfully covered from the public eye, and colored nearly in pure white - the quintessential signal of a blank slate, of innocence. Contrasted with the rest of DMMD’s flashy, colorful crew, Clear is probably the most difficult to read on a superficial scale, not falling into the fiery, bare-chest sex appeal of a womanizer, or the techno-nerd rebel aesthetic that Noiz somehow rocks. Goofy weirdo? Possibly a serial killer? Honestly, both seem plausible at the start.

And that’s the funny thing, because as damn hard as he tries to physically cover himself up from society, Clear is irrepressibly true to his name: transparent to a fault. He’s a walking, talking contradiction, and it’s not hard to realize that this mysterious, masked stranger… is really just an open book. By far the most effusive and straightforward of the entire cast, his actions are wildly unconventional and sometimes wholly inexplicable. But given time to explain himself, he is always, always sincere in his intentions — and unlike the rest of the love interests, naturally inclined to offer bits of himself to Aoba. It doesn’t take the entire character arc to figure out his big, bad secret — our main character gets an inkling about halfway through his route — and what’s even better is that he embraces it, understanding that his abilities also allow him to protect what he cherishes: Aoba.

So what if he doesn’t fit into an easily recognizable box of daydream boyfriend material? He’s contradictory, and contradiction is interesting. Dons a gas mask, but isn’t an edgelord. Blandly dressed, but ridiculously charming. Unreadable and modestly intimidating — until he opens his mouth. Even without the benefit of traversing his route, there’s already so much good stuff to work with, and sure as hell, you’re kept guessing all the way to the end.

Character Development — from reckless devotion into complaisant subservience, complaisant subservience into mutual understanding. And then, of course: free will, and true love.

At its core, DMMD is about a dude with magic mind-melding powers and his merry band of attractive men with — surprise! — crippling emotional baggage. Each route follows the same pattern, simply remixing the individual character interactions and the pace of the program: Aoba finds himself isolated with the love interest, faces various communication issues varying on the scale of frustrating to downright dangerous, wanders into a sketchy section of Platinum Jail, bonds with the love interest over shared duress, breaks into the Oval Tower, faces mental assault by the big bad — and finally, finally, destroys those internal demons plaguing the love interest, releasing the couple onto the path of a real heart-to-heart conversation. And then, you know, the lovey-dovey stuff.

Here’s the thing: as far as romantic progression goes, it’s really not a bad structure. There’s room to bump heads, but also to bond. The Scrap scene is a thematically cohesive and clever way to squeeze in the full breadth of character backstory while simultaneously advancing the plot. In this part, Aoba must become the hero to each of his love interests and save them from themselves. Having become privy to each other’s deepest thoughts and reaching a mutual understanding of each other, their feelings afterwards slide much more naturally into romantic territory. They break free of Oval Tower, make their way home, and have hot, emotionally fulfilling sex or otherwise some variation on the last few steps. The end.

That is, except for Clear.

Clear’s route is refreshing in that he needs none of these things — the climax of his emotional arc actually comes a little after the halfway point of his route. When Clear’s true origins are revealed, he comes entirely clean to Aoba, fighting against his fear of rejection but also trusting that Aoba will listen. It’s a quiet, vulnerable moment, rather than the action-packed tension we normally experience during a Scrap scene.

That doesn’t mean it’s prematurely written in — it simply means that he reaches his potential faster than the other characters. Because of that, he’s free to pursue the next level of his route’s development much, much sooner in the timeline: he overcomes his fears of his appearance, he confesses his love to Aoba, he leaves the confines of a largely dubious master-servant relationship and allows himself to be Aoba’s equal. Clear’s sprite art mirrors his emotional transformation all the way through, exposing him to the literal bone — and Aoba’s affection for him doesn’t change a single bit. Beautiful.

The whammy of incredible moments doesn’t just stop there, though. I don’t exactly recall the order the routes DMMD is ideally meant to be played in, but I believe Clear’s is meant to be last. And if you do, I can guarantee that it becomes a hugely delightful gameplay experience — in order to achieve his good ending, you must do absolutely nothing with Scrap. It doesn’t just subvert our player expectations of proactively clicking and interacting with our love interests; it grabs the story by its thematic reins and yanks it all back to the forefront of our scene.

In every route besides Clear’s, Scrap is a tool used to insert Aoba’s influence into and interfere with his target’s mind. Using his powers of destruction, Aoba is able to prune whatever maligned thoughts are harming his target; in any conventional situation, using Scrap is the right choice.

But one of the central problems in Clear’s route is his conflict between the impulses of his conditioning and his desire to live freely as a human would. Breaking free of Toue’s programming is what initially made him unique; growing beyond the rules imposed by his grandfather is what makes him human. In the final conflict scene, Clear’s decision to destroy his key-lock is an action of true autonomy, made with perfect understanding of the consequences and a sincere, selflessly selfish desire to protect someone he loves. In order to receive his good end, you have to respect his decision. It doesn’t matter which option you pick — by using Scrap, Aoba turns his back on every positive choice he made with Clear and attempts to exert his authority over him. This is Aoba becoming Toue; this is Aoba trying to reinstate himself as ‘Master’ right as he approved Clear as his equal. That’s blatant hypocrisy, and it doesn’t matter if Aoba is trying to do it for Clear’s ‘own good’ — that’s not Aoba’s call to make. If you truly wish to respect Clear’s free will, you will stand by. This is the truth of the moment: Clear has no emotional blockages that Aoba needs to fix. Believe in him, just as he believed in you.

The path to his heart is, and always has been, clear. Scrap was never needed from the start.

While Aoba might be the main character, Clear is undeniably a hero in his own route just as much. Tirelessly earnest and always curious, he leaps headlong into the unknown and emerges with his newfound enlightenment. He’s unafraid of weathering trials, even to the point of accepting death, and returns anew from oblivion to a sweet, cathartic ending. That’s about as textbook hero’s journey as it gets — if that doesn’t make him unquestionably, certifiably, unconditionally human, then I will scream.

And only finally… there is the free end. The final CG is like a throwback to our first impression of him: indistinct, purposefully obscured from proper view. But this time, we know better — and so does Aoba. Looks were never what mattered in Clear’s route. If you were patient, and you were open-minded, and you listened… well, what we realize now is that Clear was doing the exact same thing for you, too.

From a carefree, aimless robot-man with only the gimmick of “eccentric ditz” to carry him forward, we get a supremely more interesting character by the end: a man who has graduated from the well-intentioned but claustrophobic conditioning of his childhood; a weapon who has defied the imperatives placed on him by his creator’s programming; a wanderer who has, through unconditional patience and empathy, discovered love, and striven to become a better person for it. Who was it that ever doubted Clear’s character? He’s the goddamn goodest boy that ever wanted to be a real boy. Of course Clear is human. And in fact, he does it better than every single one of the actually human love interests. You can’t change my mind.

The Romance — kindness is really fucking attractive, okay.

Like I’ve said earlier, I have my Big Fan Blinds stuck on pretty tight. I might be conjuring sparks from thin air. But I think every choice was a deliberate creative decision on the writers’ part, and they deserve all the kudos for it — I’m just the lucky player who gets to enjoy it. But aside from Noiz (who I also think is a perfect darling as well — I could go on and on about him), Clear’s route is a model example for consent and healthy relationships in VN storytelling. This is reciprocated on both sides: never does Aoba infringe on Clear’s boundaries, and neither does Clear. They’re sensitive to each other’s needs and concerns; they ask for permission and stop when it isn’t granted (and when it is, boy do they get frisky — I’m not complaining!) I don’t need to say much more, because I think that consent is both fantastic and yes, incredibly hot (the scene in DMMD is tons more sad, go play Re:connect!). Good writing shows off the massive erotic potential enthusiastic consent puts into intimacy, and Aoba’s and Clear’s relationship is honestly a dream playground. The point is, I think Aoba and Clear genuinely do find equal balance in their relationship by the end of his route (and certainly through Re:connect). If you follow through Re:connect’s storyline, there’s even more thematic richness that comes through in the form of Clear’s greatest asset: communication. The couple get to discuss the long-term implications of them being together; they both offer concerns, points, and assurances to the other, and it’s just a soft, honest moment not so unlike the worries of a real relationship. Hearing is kind of Clear’s motif sense, but it’s really great to see that Aoba also subtly picks it up, really flexes his own communication skills to better engage with Clear.

Point is, Clear’s route spoke to me on a lot of little levels. Design-wise, he’s already got a ton going for him, and his story builds upon it rather than against it, enriching his development and grounding him a little more solidly in the DMMD universe (and in my heart). His route, aside from being emotionally ruinous, carries a pretty solid chunk of world-building (only beaten out by Mink’s and Ren’s, probably), and the romance feels organic, healthy, and realistic. He’s not the only one with an excellent route, but he’s my favorite. If you read through all of this, you’re a real trooper and I’m extremely impressed. Thanks for tuning in. Peace.

#dramatical murder #dmmd #aoba seragaki #clear #dmmd clear #long ass emotional screeching #lOL I FORGOT TO DRAW IN THE UMBRELLA HANDLE ahA #fixed

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7-wonders · 4 years

Text

Terms and Conditions May Apply

Summary: As if being presented as the wife of the Antichrist to the most influential people in the world at an exclusive event wasn't enough for you to handle, Satan may have a special surprise in store for you as well.

Word Count: 3548

A/N: I have no excuse for not having updated for a month other than the fact that my senior thesis has taken up basically ALL of my time. Special thanks to @trelaney for all of your help on this (and every) chapter of Mad Love! Comments, likes, and reblogs are always appreciated. Enjoy!

The night after your first day of classes, Michael utters the words that you were hoping never to hear. It had been such a nice evening, too. You had finally worn Michael down enough about cooking that he agreed to let you cook dinner for an evening. It was just a simple meal, pasta and marinara that your dad used to always make, but it was familiar, and made you feel at home in a way you hadn’t yet while living at “Langdon Manor,” as you call it. Ending up on the couch with Michael, your head in his lap as he reads some business papers and strokes your hair, smiling every time you laugh at the videos on your phone (you’re saving Michael’s introduction to Vine and TikTok for another day), was the perfect way to end the night. Of course, he had to ruin it by opening his mouth.

“I think it’s time for you to attend an official Cooperative function with me,” Michael says. You look up at him in horror, of which he can’t quite tell is real or fake.

“Michael!” you groan, sitting up so you’re level with him.

“(Y/N)!” he mocks, refusing to back down. “We’ve been married for, what, seven months now?”

“Nearly eight,” you remark dryly.

“Over half of a year. And in the time of our marriage, you’ve never once met with the Cooperative. You haven’t engaged with my father’s congregation since our wedding.” Michael sees the look on your face as you prepare to make a snarky comment about the congregation, so he hurries to make his next point. “These are necessary duties that you, as the wife of the Antichrist, must undertake. Need I remind you of our ‘contract?’ You had agreed to attend Cooperative functions and meetings with me. That time, my love, has come.”

You bristle at the pet name (no matter how long you’ll be married to Michael, you’ll never come to be a fan of them), but ignore it for now. “I don’t want to do it.”

“I understand that. I don’t want to either, but it’s something that we both must do.”

“What do you mean, you ‘don’t want to do it?’ Being worshipped by these people and commanding a room aren’t things you enjoy?”

“It’s a part of the title my father bestowed upon me. There is...a certain beauty to being the one prophesied in ancient times, but the blind devotion that a lot of these influential members of society who have sold their souls in order to gain power is disgusting, in a way. I don’t quite enjoy having them fawn over me in the hopes that I’ll grant them favors of some kind.”

“So then why do you go to these events if you don’t like them?”

“It gives my father’s followers something tangible to worship. In a way, my existence lets them know that selling their souls was not in vain. I am proof that my father’s plans are coming to fruition.” Michael tentatively reaches his hand out, slowly grabbing yours when you don’t pull away. “So? Will you come?”

You roll your eyes. “I don’t really have a choice, do I?”

“I’m afraid not, but I figured I should at least ask you.” “Fine, but I don’t want to wear black to this thing. Or red. I want to be me, not the wife of the Antichrist.”

“You’re both, but I think we can work something out. The color scheme isn’t a requirement, merely...a suggestion.”

“A suggestion you make sure to enforce.” Standing up from the couch, your face softens slightly at the hurt look on Michael’s face. “I’m not mad, I’ve just gotta get some syllabus tests out of the way before I forget about them.”

“Don’t make plans for Friday, okay?” You nod, Michael kissing your hand before letting you leave for your room, where you proceed to sulk about having to go to a Satanist party while watching Netflix.

Friday arrives, much to your displeasure, bringing with it an army of stylists that the Cooperative has at its disposal. You somehow manage to stop them when they attempt to do your makeup heavily, conceding only to a semi-prominent eyeshadow look and lipstick. The dark pink, almost red shade goes with the one dress you didn’t automatically veto, a silky, emerald A-line dress with spaghetti straps that cinched at your waist before falling down to your ankles. The hairstylist, a man with platinum hair and the attitude to pull it off, had decided to leave your hair down after you had nearly yelled at him for trying some fancy updo. Looking in the mirror after they’ve forced you into a pair of heels, you have to admit that you do look pretty nice. It’s not a look that you would ever come up with yourself, but it suits you well.

Although Michael would never rush you, you’re sure he’s been waiting for a few minutes now. While his hair is always better than yours, his Antichrist powers probably provide him some extra minutes when it comes to getting ready. The stylists give you one last check before deeming you good to go, placing a clutch in your hands and ushering you out of your bedroom.

Michael’s waiting patiently in the foyer, idly checking his phone until he hears movement from the floor above. Pocketing the device, he glances up the stairs only for his eyes to widen as he fights to keep his jaw from dropping. You descend the stairs looking every bit the goddess he’s known you to be since the moment he laid eyes on you, and you smile shyly at his awed expression.

“Did they screw up that bad?” you joke, desperate to break him out of his stupor.

“No, you’re...stunning, (Y/N). Words could not possibly express just how beautiful you are.”

Your cheeks burn in embarrassment, and you gaze up at the ceiling to avoid looking him in the eyes. “Didn’t know you could be a sweet talker, Michael. Thanks. You clean up well yourself.”

He looks down at his outfit as if just now realizing he’s dressed. “I pale in comparison next to you.”

Considering he’s wearing a designer cloak and suit, you doubt that. Michael holds his arm out for you and you gratefully take it, ankles feeling weak from the heels that you’re in. Of course the Antichrist wouldn’t be rolling up to an event dedicated to him and his father in a car he’s driving, so the chauffeured vehicle is not a surprise.

Michael does an excellent job at distracting you on the drive to the classified location where the gala/event/rich people benefit will be held. Between playing you at 8 Ball on your phones--a game that he’s getting surprisingly good at--and debating you on the nuances of selling a person’s soul, you don’t realize you’ve arrived until the car comes to a stop.

“Just a moment,” Michael says to the driver, who puts the car in park and exits the vehicle, presumably so you and Michael can be alone. “Before we go in, there’s a few things you need to be aware of.”

“Please tell me there’s not going to be a human sacrifice in there,” you mutter.

“No sacrifices, I promise. I’ll handle most of the talking, but you might get a few questions from some curious members. Feel free to answer them if you would like, and if I deem their questions to be appropriate.”

“And if I don’t want to talk to them?”

“Just squeeze my hand and I’ll get rid of them.” Your eyes widen, and Michael chuckles before shaking his head. “Not like that, I’ll just tell them that they should enjoy the evening.”

“Anything else?”

“Cooperative members like to be very secretive about everything. Many who will be attending tonight are fine with fellow members knowing their identities, but some may be wearing masks. Don’t be alarmed at that, but definitely don’t ask them who they are.”

“Alright,” you smile. “I think I can handle that.”

“Oh, and don’t smile.”

“Don’t...smile?”

“While I love your smile, everyone here is beneath you. They’re not our friends, or people who deserve our kindness. Unless I smile, please try not to act friendly.”

“O--okay.” You’re less sure of yourself now, and it obviously shows as Michael takes your hand.

“Hey, you’re going to do great.”

“And if I don’t?”

Michael shakes his head. “Impossible. Are you ready?”

“No, but let’s go.” The door of the car swings open, the chauffeur innately knowing when Michael’s ready. He climbs out ahead of you and helps you out, making sure you’re not going to trip over your own feet before he lets go of your waist.

You grab his arm tightly as he leads you inside of what looks like some lavish country club. Two stoic guards stand on either side of the main entrance, staring straight ahead like you’re walking into Buckingham Palace. It’s difficult to hide your shock when you see the petite figure of Ms. Mead standing in the entryway, dark lips turned up in a smile.

“Ms. Mead,” Michael greets, kissing the woman who’s like his mother on the cheek.

She smiles, patting his face lovingly. “My sweet boy,” she says before turning to you, “and you look lovely as well, (Y/N).”

“Um, thank you?” You’re a little apprehensive, considering the last time you saw her, she stuck a needle in your neck.

“They’re ready to begin, Michael.” He nods, giving Ms. Mead one last smile before moving away with you.

“She didn’t seem to be nearly as angry as she usually is,” you note.

“She probably needs a new upgrade.” At your bewildered look, Michael elaborates. “The real Ms. Mead was taken from me by some enemies who believed that killing her would give them the chance to ‘convert’ me to good. The Ms. Mead you see today, and that you saw the night of our wedding, is an AI copy.”

“Holy shit, she’s a robot?”

Michael cringes at the term, but nods. “Yes, basically.”

A flurry of activity signifies that the Cooperative is ready for the son of their Lord to make his grand entrance. Michael looks you over once more, waiting until he’s absolutely sure that you’re ready to face his followers before he nods once to signal that you’re both ready. The voices that fill the room spill out once the doors are opened, Michael giving you hardly a moment to get nervous before walking in with you.

The voices fall silent when the doors open, eyes cast eagerly to Michael and, by extension, you. There’s two long tables that stretch the length of the room, chairs on either side of each one. A smaller table sits raised on a platform at the other end of the room, just big enough for two ornate chairs. Michael squeezes your hand, providing a much-needed grounding tool as you try not to look like your eyes are darting around the room.

Michael was right about some of the Cooperative members; their silver masks reflect the light of the room off of the surface, their entire faces obscured from view. Some of the members who decide not to mask their identity are not surprising to see here (you’re pretty sure you would have been more surprised if Donald Trump wasn’t a member of the Cooperative), but others make you internally squeal from excitement. Although Jared Leto’s always seemed like an intense guy, you didn’t think he was the type of person to have sold his soul to the Devil.

The room remains standing until you and Michael have taken your places at the table in front of everyone. Even after they sit, Michael’s firm hand keeps you from taking a seat. If he’s standing, you guess you’re standing as well.

To anybody watching from afar, Michael’s face is unreadable. Having spent so much time with him, however, you watch as something akin to a mask descends across his features. The Michael that you know--awkward, easily excited, and passionate to a fault--is gone, replaced by someone distant, perpetually angry, who knows for a fact that everyone here is beneath him.

“Welcome, esteemed members of the Cooperative. We are gathered here tonight at the request of my father, who wishes for me to convey to you his plans as we move ever closer to our end goal. As many of you are aware, plans are being drawn up for the Outposts and the Sanctuary, which is where everyone here, along with others who we deem valuable to the continuation of life on Earth, will ride out the end of the world.”

At this, you feel the blood run from your face. Although you’ve known that Michael, as the Antichrist, had plans to end the world on behalf of Satan, it’s jarring to hear him talk about it so plainly. If you’re being honest, you had almost forgotten that the apocalypse was a thing. After getting over being kidnapped to be his bride, you and Michael have become friends. Plus, it’s not as if he talks about Armageddon in front of you. This is the first you’re hearing, in detail, of his plans.

Next to you, Michael is still talking. “--I encourage you all to not worry too much, as we still have a couple of years, at least, until the world can be remade in Satan’s image with the cleansing fire of nuclear bombs. I imagine you may have a few questions. If they are not ignorant, answers you can learn from your colleagues, or flat-out stupid, then please feel free to ask.”

There’s a small murmur from the crowd as Cooperative members converse about the timeline, Michael narrowing his eyes at those in front of him. A couple of people raise their hands, asking questions about fortifications and possible side effects of fallout, which Michael answers effortlessly. It seems as though he’s been prepped on these possible questions, but you wouldn’t be too surprised if this was stuff he just inherently knew.

“Last, before you return to your cocktails and various material pleasures,” Michael squeezes your hand, and you look at him before realizing he wants you to be a part of whatever he’s saying, “my father had revealed to me a woman, who was meant to serve as my consort and stand by my side. Eight months ago, his wish was fulfilled when I married (Y/N), who stands here with me today. Everything else regarding our coupling is none of your goddamn business. Anything else?”

The room is dead silent, everyone being too petrified of their savior to even think of saying anything.

“Wonderful. Please, enjoy the rest of your evening with the bounties that Satan has provided us.” It takes a moment for the room to go back to normal, but you let out a sigh of relief when all of the pairs of eyes are off of you.

“Can we sit down now?” you whisper to Michael, who immediately nods and pulls your chair out for you.

“What did you think?” Michael’s eyes are wide and eager for your approval.

“If I didn’t know you, I would have been terrified of you.”

Michael smiles. “Good, that’s what I was going for.”

“Whoa, is that--” you’re ready to point out two very prominent celebrities doing coke off of each other when Michael shakes his head.

“Remember, these people are beneath you. You can be excited but don’t show it.”

“Fine,” you huff, “but why are people just doing drugs and kissing each other? That seems a little too crazy, even for a room full of Satanist celebrities.”

“Satan preaches giving into any of your desires. Even if it’s material things that only provide fleeting moments of what they believe to be pleasure, my father encourages it. I don’t enjoy watching these activities take place at every single Cooperative meeting, but as long as it doesn’t get out of hand, I don’t put a stop to it.”

There’s so many more questions that you want to ask him about the members of the Cooperative, but a couple of those said members approaching the table to pay their respects to the Antichrist cuts the conversation short. You play the part of the dutiful wife for Michael, greeting his followers and listening to the dull conversations of people starstruck to be in front of their messiah. It’s extremely easy to get overwhelmed in a situation like this, and you seize your chance during a slight lull after nearly an hour of talking to people.

“Michael,” you say gently, “I’m going to go and get some air.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just wanna go outside for a minute and check my phone.” Michael nods, kissing the back of your hand before letting go so that you can stand up.

The lobby’s much less crowded than the room you just came out of; a few stray Cooperative members linger and wait staff are in and out, but other than that you’re basically alone. You already feel like you can breathe again, a weight being lifted off of your chest now that you’re away from so many curious, intimidating people. Feeling how cold it is outside, you adapt your original plan and choose to sit on one of the benches inside instead.

There’s not much going on this Friday night, you notice as you check your phone. Everybody’s still getting back into the swing of school, and most of your friends opted to stay in and treat themselves instead of going out. You wish you were at home right now, snuggled up in a large blanket with your cat curled up next to you.

(You ignore the thought of Michael being there too, sitting on the other end of the couch and trying to get the cat to sit by him instead of you).

“Drink, ma’am?” Looking up from your phone, you see a waitress smiling and holding a tray with a single drink on it out towards you.

“Oh, I don’t know.” You’re unsure of what to do, Michael not having instructed you on whether you could or couldn’t drink at this event.

“It’s our house special tonight! And as you can see, it’s the last one I have.”

The drink, a red cocktail in a tall glass, does look pretty appealing, and one drink would surely help you to get through the rest of the night. “Mm, might as well! It’s only one drink, and I’m not a lightweight.”

Laughing lightly, the waitress hands you the cocktail. “Enjoy!”

“Thank you!”

She turns the corner, which means you’re not able to see as her eyes turn pitch black and her body starts convulsing. The waitress collapses to the ground as black smoke pours out of her mouth, ears, and nose, dissipating into the air just as quickly as it left her body. After a moment, the waitress stands back up, looking extremely disoriented as she grabs her tray and unsteadily walks towards the kitchen.

Sniffing the cocktail to make sure you’re not downing something especially disgusting, you’re instead greeted by the pleasant scent of cinnamon and apples. You shrug before taking a hesitant sip, happily finding that the drink tastes just as good as it smells. It’s almost better than any other cocktail you’ve previously tried, and you find yourself thinking that you’ll have to find the waitress and ask her for the name of this cocktail as you continue to consume the addictive drink. You’re enjoying your moment of solitude, sitting on your phone and enjoying a drink, so much that you don’t realize something’s wrong until it’s too late.

It starts with a slight ache in your head, followed by a ringing in your ears that begins to drown out any background noise. You feel dizzy, and drop your phone so you can place a hand on the bench to steady yourself. Your eyes can’t focus on anything, the walls seeming to morph in front of you as you close your eyes to assuage the nausea.

“Was I drugged?” you mutter to yourself, attempting to stand up but barely straightening your legs before you fall back down to your seat. “Maybe I should find Michael.”

The moment you think of Michael, it’s as if explosions start to rock your brain. You can’t think, and the ringing in your ears reverberates until it’s the only thing you can hear. All of your senses are gone, replaced by the pain of a thousand jackhammers in your head.

The explosions disappear just as quickly as they appeared, leaving you confused and disoriented. Everything feels off, like the world’s tilted before righting itself once more, but overcorrecting in the process. Trying to remember what you were doing before your sudden headache, the only thing you can come up with is Michael.

The name brings a smile to your face as your heart starts to beat quickly. Michael, the love of your life and your other half. What are you doing out here, when he’s in there by himself? You stand to return to him, the entire time not being able to shake the feeling that something’s extremely wrong.

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#michael langdon #michael langdon imagine #michael langdon x reader #michael langdon x you #american horror story #american horror story imagine #american horror story apocalypse #american horror story imagines #AHS #ahs imagine #ahs imagines #ahs apocalypse

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imaginewithmgk · 4 years

Note

Would you do a one shot where the reader just had a really stressful day at work and kells helps by taking a hot bath with her and giving her some wine and it ends in fluffy bathtub smut?💜

I CAN DO HAPPY, I CAN DO NORMAL

request ten

summary: they take a bath together and colson pleasures her because she’s had a hard time recently.

word count: 2,158

warnings: smut, alcohol

Y/N’s P.O.V.

I pace around my bedroom, running my fingers through my hair as I go over the events of today. First, I got a call from Casie’s school saying that she had gotten into a verbal altercation with another student. Apparently, another child was bad-mouthing her dad so she fought back. I obviously went to her to school to pick her up and she explained the situation to me, I wasn’t mad at her at all but I did give her some stern advice on what to do next time it happens. She seemed to take my advice on board, quickly apologising to the child and myself as well. I took her out for lunch before dropping her off at her mum’s house, after all, it was her week. I was hoping that would be the end of today’s “excitement” but of course not. I ended up running into my ex-boyfriend while I was at the store buying some groceries.

I walk through the aisles aimlessly looking for things we need at home. I find myself near the fridges looking for almond milk when I feel someone tap me on the shoulder. I spin around only to be met by the face of my vile ex-boyfriend. “Ugh leave me alone,” I groan and begin to walk away. “Where’s your new play toy?” He grins. “What happened, he finally leave you? He realise you’re fucked up beyond fixing?”“Colson hasn’t left me. He’s working in LA, something you know nothing about.” I mumble. “Whatever. It’s just a matter of time before he leaves you because you’re so fucked up,”“You know nothing about him. He is nothing like you, you’re a fucking prick!” I begin to raise my voice. He puts his hand on his heart and pretends to be hurt.“Oh ouch. You know he’s the reason we broke up yeah? He’s standing in the way of our happiness baby,” He reaches out to place a hand on my shoulder but I move out of his way quickly. “He’s not standing in the way of nothing buddy. You being a whore and a drug addict is what ruined our relationship,“ “Whatever Y/N, you just ain’t tired of him yet. I know he can’t do you like I do you, make you feel the way I used to make you feel,” He smirks. I roll my eyes and turn away from him. “Leave me the fuck alone," "I’m not leaving you alone until you admit that you miss me and want me back,”“I don’t miss shit about you and I will never want you back!”“He isn’t good for you, I mean look at his lifestyle! He’s probably fucking bitches in LA while you’re at home pining over him. He will never understand you like I do Y/N,” Will this dude ever quit it? “Whether you like it or not, I am happy. You never even came close to making me as happy as he makes me. Leave me alone,”“But that’s just it Y/N… you don’t do happy, you don’t know what happy and normal is. It’s just a matter of time before you fuck it up and come running back to me,” He chuckles. “No, I won’t. I love Colson, a lot more than I ever loved you.”“Don’t worry baby, you will see. You will never be good enough for him. He’s going to realise that and leave you, then who will you go to? Me. Just like every other time,” I drop my basket on the floor and storm out of the shop.

I’m especially sick to death of him but also people judging Colson and I’s relationship. Why do they have to play games with my mind? I know Colson loves me, I can do happy, and I can do normal. Maybe this is why he calls me baby because I am a fucking baby and he has to take care of me. What if he never comes back? His album could be finished for all I know. Maybe he left just to get away from me. It truly has been one of the worst days I’ve ever experienced, the only thing that could fix my horrible mood is if my man was here. Fuck I need to hear his voice, I won’t be able to sleep tonight with these thoughts running through my mind. I need him here with me. I decide to call him, at least his voice can calm me down. “Hey baby,” He answers almost instantly. “Hey,” I mumble. “Are you okay?” He asks. I bite my lip as tears brim in my eyes. “Y-yeah, I just miss you,” I admit. “Are you sure? Did something happen to you?” His voice sounds as soothing as ever, I sob into the phone. “Baby what happened?”“I just had a difficult day,” I breathe out. “You know I hate to ask this because I know you’re busy but can you come home?” I almost whisper. “Of course darling. I’ll be home in 6 hours. I love you,”“Thank you. I’ll meet you at the airport.” I hang up the phone and collapse onto the bed we share. I can’t believe I made him come home, I can’t believe he actually got on a plane and came. He loves me, I know he loves me. Fuck what people think.

I waste time watching Netflix and napping for a few hours before I make my way to the airport. His plane lands shortly after I arrive, instantly I feel better when I see his face. I run over to him and jump onto him, wrapping my legs around his waist and bury my face into his neck.“What’s wrong baby girl?” He asks hugging me back tightly.“I’m okay now that you’re here,” I whisper. “Something happened, I can tell,” He places me on the ground and grabs my chin forcing me to look into his stunning blue eyes. He kisses my lips delicately and I almost fall apart right then and there.“Come on, I’ll tell you as we drive,” I kiss his cheek and intertwine our fingers as we make our way to my car. I explain what happened today, he just holds my hand throughout it all and plays with my fingers.“You don’t believe that shit do you?” He asks and I don’t answer. “You can’t believe that!”“Maybe he was right… I can’t do normal. You’re perfect, how can you be so perfect? I don’t deserve someone like you.”“Baby I’m not perfect. You of all people should know this. But what I know is that we are perfect together, we are endgame.”“I love you,”“I love you! You’re never going to get rid of me,” He laughs. We continue chatting as we make our way home. “I’m so tired from all this stressful shit,” I admit as we walk through the front door and towards our room. “We can put on a movie or sum and just cuddle if you want bubba,” He offers, to which I nod at him. I change out of my clothes from that day into a pair of booty shorts and a tank top. He simply pulls off his top and pants so that he’s left in only his boxers and lays down on the bed. I stand there staring at him, how the fuck did I get such a gorgeous and caring man to love me?“You gon come here and give me some lovin or you just gon stand there checking me out?” He chuckles. I shake my head at him and get into bed, moving around so my head is laying on his chest. I trace the tattoos on his stomach as he puts Netflix on and picks a movie. “Hey, do you want to have a bath first?” He asks. “I’m too tired,” I admit. “Come on, I’ll set it up for you. I promise it will make you feel better,”“Okay sure,” I smile as he kisses my cheek and makes his way to our ensuite. Colson’s P.O.V.

I walk into our ensuite and turn on the cold water, and then the hot to make it a nice warm temperature. I grab an assortment of bath oils, making sure that one of them is eucalyptus because I know Y/N loves the smell. I add some bubble bath and then shut off the water before making my way back to the bedroom. “You ready baby?” I smile at her. She nods and extends her arms signalling for me to pick her up. I do so, and take her into the bathroom. I sit her down on the bench and pull her tank top off, and then her shorts. “God, you’re so beautiful,” I kiss her neck lightly. She moans at the contact and pulls my boxers off me. She begins to lightly stroke my member as I keep kissing her neck. “We’ll continue in the bath,” I mumble and pull myself away from her. I get into the tub, leaning against one side so she can sit in between my legs. She hops in after me and presses her back up against my stomach. I grab some soap and a loofa and begin washing her back, stomach, breasts, anything I can reach really. We spend a long time in the tub and share a glass of wine before getting dressed and going back to our bed. I lay down and she places her head on my chest.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

All of a sudden I feel a cold breeze on my breast. Without me noticing, Colson had pulled my tank top down and began to massage me.“What do you think you’re doing?” I giggle. “What? I can’t appreciate my woman?” He says mischievously. He moves us around so he can kiss my breasts. He moves down and lightly sucks on my nipple. “You know my boobs are my weakness, Colson,” He just hums. “And you know this is my favourite thing to do… watch a movie with my girl and play with her boobies a lil,” He says which makes me laugh. He finally stops and just leaves a hand resting on my breast while we try to watch the movie that was interrupted by our bath.

I sigh loudly halfway through what we were watching,“What’s up girl?” “I’m tired but I can’t sleep, I’ve got too much shit on my mind,” I admit. He starts to play with my hair.“Want me to make you feel good baby girl?”“Yes please,” He doesn’t waste any time, he gets off the bed and makes his way down to the edge. Colson grabs my bare thighs and pulls me towards him so I’m sitting at the end of the bed, and he’s on his knees facing me. He kisses the inside of my thighs lightly before curling his fingers around the material of my shorts and pulling them down my legs. I kick them off, leaving my bottom-half naked. “Damn you’re already wet,” He smirks and traces his finger up and down my slit. I lean my head backwards in pleasure as he licks my folds gently. I can tell that he wants this to be all about love, rather than the raunchy fucking we usually partake in and I do not mind one bit. He traces his tongue from my core, all the way up to my clit. He kisses just above my sensitive area before latching his lips to my clit and sucking hard. I let out a loud moan as he moves his tongue in all different kinds of directions. I grab the back of his head with my hand and buck my hips as he plunges his tongue into my core. “Oh fuck Colson,” I pull his hair. I can feel him chuckle, the vibrations almost sending me over the edge. I let out some porn star-like moans as he grabs my hips and pushes me further towards him. He moves out of my core and back to my clit where he licks and sucks intensely. “O-oh my god,” I practically yell. “F-fuck me with your tongue,” He does what I say and moves back down to my core, sticking his tongue in as far as possible. I push his head further into me if that’s even possible. I can feel his nose rubbing against my clit which is sending me over the edge. “I’m g-gonna cum,” I moan.“Cum on my tongue baby girl,” I let myself go at his words. He licks me up and down and then uses an old t-shirt to clean me. I lay back on the bed, panting with my eyes closed.

“I can’t believe I just made you cum with only my mouth,” He grins. “Shut up,” I mumble and pull him towards me so we can cuddle.

tagged @2dead2function @s-j-g-x @bakerkells @mayaslifeinabox @Onlybadthingz @PumpkinQueenest19 @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @Feeding-into-darkness @xxkellsvixen19xx @lovemythsworld @xwhitewalkerx @deanwinchesterswife121 @jindongdongie

#machine gun kelly #colson baker #request #write #writing #prompt #imagine #short story #smut #est19xx #est4life #mgk #kells

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fanfic-scribbles · 4 years

Text

Dark Nights

Fandom: MCU Captain America/Avengers

Summary: Sharing someone’s company doesn’t mean the same thing at all times. You learn to compromise in the face of a pandemic, and look forward.

Quick facts: Romance – Steve Rogers/Reader – Nondescript Reader

Warnings: Real-life inspired, Coronavirus/COVID-19 mentions, slight angst, mostly fluff, hopeful ending

Words: 1314

A/N: I have been working on this entirely too long for how short this is. Funnier, this was supposed to be even shorter and 100% dialogue, but it sort of went where it willed. Oh well; it’s a peaceful little thing and I hope you enjoy it.

The night is gloomy and quiet. It’s actually kind of nice– the rain provides noise that has been lacking on your street. Not something you thought you’d say about New York, but, well, these are strange days.

You sit in your armchair with a drink in your hands, thumb idly chasing beads of condensation, and listen to the ‘pitpatpitpatpitpat’ landing outside. It probably doesn’t help the quiet that the TV is off, but you’ve been so unable to focus you don’t see the point. There are a handful of hobbies stashed around your apartment that could be started, a plethora of shows that could be watched, but you’ve been spending your days sleeping, waking up tired, sitting, wandering around 800 square feet, and alternating between general unease and active worry. Mostly.

The sound of your phone is enough to jerk you out of your current apathy, and you struggle to keep your drink from falling while also struggling to get at your phone to see who’s calling you. Just a glimpse of the ID then has you scrambling to answer. “Hi,” you say breathlessly, even though your ass never left the cushion. “Are you okay?”

It takes a second, but a warm chuckle floats from the receiver, through your body, and melts your bones so you sink into the chair. “I’m fine,” Steve says. “I’m good at my job, remember?”

“I know you are,” you say and lean your head back. “It’s other people that are the problem.”

“Well sometimes other people can be made to see reason,” he says. “How are you?”

You’re quiet, because that’s a question with an unpleasant answer, but Steve is weathering this just like you. “I’m fine,” you say. “I miss you.”

“Is this a new game?” he asks, gently teasing. “One lie, one truth?”

That gets a weak chuckle out of you, mostly for his sake. “The punishment for getting it wrong is that I’m going to come over there.”

“I’ll get it wrong on purpose,” he says. “But we’ll have to postpone that ‘punishment.’”

You start to reply, but it falls away. You don’t know what to say that wouldn’t come out wrong, so you don’t say anything at all. That’s a problem when you’re on a phone call and all you have is the other person’s voice. “I’m sorry I’m boring,” you say.

“It’s fine. So am I. I’m just…happy to hear you.”

He sounds so at peace and you wish that could be you, but instead you’re rocked by the feeling that you could walk to him, except you can’t, and it’s all you want in the world. “I miss you,” you say through a throat trying to close up.

“Oh sweetheart, I miss you too,” he says. “It’s going to be all right; we’ll get through this.”

“Will we?” you don’t mean to say, but do.

“We absolutely will; we’re going to pull through this.”

You don’t know if it’s the repetitive words or if there’s something in his voice, but he sounds almost desperate when he says that and, no, damn it, you didn’t want to drag him down with you. He has to keep himself as separate as anyone else, because he actually has to go out sometimes into emergency situations, and he needs to be all right. You need him to be all right. “I’m sorry,” you say and rub your face. “I don’t mean to–…I didn’t mean…that.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” Steve says, his voice softer and gentler now. “It’s awful. I know it’s awful. And I miss you too. But I believe that we’re going to be okay.”

“How do you do it?” you say and look out at lights scattered in the near-empty night. A group of people smoking together under a streetlight fills you with such revulsion that you pull the blinds tightly shut. “How do you keep…doing it?”

“Probably the same way you do. But it helps that I’m a public example.”

“You’d do it anyway.”

“Yeah, because it makes sense. And I care.” His voice drops. “It’s still hard though.”

“Mmm.” You exhale. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to drag you down. We just have to…get through it.”

“In whatever way we can.”

“Like talking to you.”

“Exactly,” Steve says. You can hear him smile when he adds, “I hope you don’t think you’re going to have a second to yourself when all this starts to lift. Prepare to say goodbye to your alone time; I’m making plans.”

“What kind of plans?” you ask and lean your head on one shoulder.

“We’re gonna go back to the park. Maybe every day,” he says. “Hold hands. No gloves.”

“What if it’s cold?”

“I’ll bring your hands up and blow on them,” he says matter-of-factly.

It sounds so ridiculous it makes you laugh. Because he would. “What about when it’s too hot?”

“Tough,” he says. “I’m going to hold onto you. All the time.”

Your smile twists somewhat, because it won’t be any time soon. “Someday.”

“It’s going to happen,” Steve says, fervently. But it’s strong, like he truly believes it, and not like he’s trying to make himself believe it. “I’m going to come back and I won’t leave you alone for a long while. When you get so sick of me that you kick me out of the bed, I’ll just sleep on the couch.”

“I would never.”

“Except that one time after–”

“You were being a disgusting asshole on purpose,” you say. “You won’t do that if you really want to be with me all the time.”

“No, I won’t,” he says. He chuckles. “I’ll behave.”

“That’ll be a first,” you say, almost under your breath. Of course he hears it and he laughs and even after he stops you cling to the memory of the sound, to his words, to his conviction. Hopefully it will sustain you until, indeed, all of this is an unpleasant memory that only vaguely passes through your mind when Steve is running his hand up and down your spine as he helps you fall asleep.

Silence passes and you can hear his breathing slow and deepen, and he shifts on the other end of the line. “I’m sorry; you must be tired,” you say.

“Not that tired,” he says. “I have an idea actually.”

“What’s that?”

“Open up Netflix. I haven’t seen that…witch show?”

Your smile grows a little bigger. “What show?”

“You know.”

“Hmm, sorry, not familiar.”

“Don’t make me do this,” he pleads.

You chuckle. “Just one hint?”

He sighs heavily. “The one with the guy…he has a sword…he wears really tight pants…and there’s witches?”

You laugh. Just a little, but it’s enough. “Ah, ‘The Witcher?’”

“Yeah, sure, that,” he grumbles.

“I love you,” you say sweetly.

“Sure you do,” he says and sighs again. “The things you put me through.”

“Mm hm. Absolute torture,” you say but you do as he said. “Why am I bringing this up if you’re the one who hasn’t seen it?”

“When I say ‘start’ we’ll both hit play, and this way we can watch it together,” he says.

You’re set up and ready to go by the time he finishes and it actually sounds…nice. “It’s not as fun when I don’t get to watch you ogle Henry Cavill in his “really tight pants.’”

“You wouldn’t watch me because you’ll be too busy ogling too,” he says. “But if it’s as good as everyone says it is I wouldn’t mind watching it again when I’m over at your place after all this is over.”

Settling against a pillow isn’t as good as the real thing, but for now Steve is with you in whatever way he can be, and eventually you’ll be past the worst of it. As hard as it is now, you can believe that. You smile, and say, “I’m looking forward to it.”

#steve rogers x reader #reader insert #captain america fanfiction #captain america reader insert #hopeful ending #coronavirus mention #long-distance...sort of

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yutaya · 3 years

Text

Iron Fist Rewatch 1x04: Eight Diagram Dragon Palm

Danny, struggling to pull himself onto that light post thing with his probably now bruised chest: "I dedicate myself to the service of all beings of K'un Lun-" *falls* So is this a recitation they do in training - is he trying to use that mindset to help him climb this beam? Is he doing some sort of traditional ask-the-gods-to-bless-me-with-strength thing?

Lol somehow I had remembered it as Danny crawling up again anyway after the initial push. I forgot they actually went and collected him. Guess that makes them look more favorable to him than my own recall though...

On the coffee table directly facing Danny when he wakes up, probably meant to be a sign to him about where he is and who has so kindly rescued and tended to him after his unfortunate tumble off a building: the formal pic of Harold and children, another photo hard to make out - my first thought was the vacation photo of the 6 of them but it's very sepia, could be something else. Maybe if I look back at other photos we've seen before I could match it.

Danny: "What happened to me? Last I remember I was climbing up-" Ward: "Yeah, like goddamn Daredevil." LOL

UGH THIS WHOLE HAROLD INTRO SCENE UGH Danny mad at Ward one second and then Harold appears and it's like the breath is punched out of him. Looking at Ward and Ward just calmly looking back because he clearly knows what's going on and Danny doesn't - it's as if they're bringing him into their confidence on something. This is a form of offering Danny something he wants - to be a part of something with the only family he thought he had left, not to mention the miracle of one of his parent-figures being alive again. (Wow, what a journey. From finding out Harold is dead and then Ward and Joy both quite clearly rejecting him and denying him a place in their lives to Joy actually doing something to indicate maybe at least she still wants him around after all? To wait, Ward and Harold bringing me in on something too? It's like the dream he clung to in K'un Lun got snatched away and now seems to be trickling back, and - UGH.) "You see him too?" because Danny thought he was seeing things that night at the hospital but this- this is real? Ward's sad, small nod because he knows so much more about Harold than Danny does, and he's seeing this innocent joy (word choice intended) while knowing himself to be wary and that this is almost definitely another manipulation (but what if it's not? What if-? But Harold is still dangerous, he can't help it, there's a reason Ward wants to protect Joy from him even while knowing that Harold favors her so dearly, because there are other ways to hurt your children-)

Harold calmly walking forward while wearing a black suit and confirming "I did die," followed by Danny's "You look the same age as when I last saw you..." - Vampire AU??? (Ugh but why did it have to be Harold? Not a fan of monsters as the bad guys.... need a non-evil vamp to balance him out....)

The way Ward just keeps looking silently between the both of them, like a witness, like - UGH.

"You're home now," GOD DAMMIT and Danny's relief and gratitude and Ward's somber look down I -

Cancer lasted 3 years

Ward: "Dad, are you sure you should be saying this?" Harold: "It's ok. Danny needs to know this." Casting Ward in the opposition role

Ward sits down in the chair adjacent to the couch Danny is on. Harold crosses over from where he was standing near the left side of the couch to sit on the farther right side instead - specifically sitting in between Danny and Ward.

Harold: "I still remember my last breath. Scariest shit I've ever experienced." Ward looks up and away, taking a breath, before turning back again. Combo of eye-roll at dramatics and genuine pain at the thought because that's his dad and Ward remembers those years of pain and decay and - ?

I forgot Danny originally thought of the Hand more like a fable than a reality - and finding out they're a real, present threat combines with being told it's not K'un Lun that they're threatening, but that this whole time, they've actually been digging their claws into his home?

Ward rolling his eyes with his whole body when Harold encourages Danny to think about this as ~embracing his destiny~ hahaha

Ward: No offense, but Danny has zero idea how to do business and therefore maybe shouldn't be running a company with again, absolutely zero training??? Harold: Don't mind Ward being a petulant brat who wants to keep you from your rightful place in our family, Danny. I need you. :)

Harold to Danny: "We've needed a fighter like you back in the family." - right in front of Ward, yet another small "unlike you, who are weak" jab. In line with the whole "Joy can close the deal, you, Ward, can not do anything" lines in the previous episode.

Ward warning Danny about Harold!! But not really doing it great so it could be taken as another 'othering' where Danny could hear 'Harold's not YOUR dad' instead of Ward's intended 'Harold's not your DAD' - made much better by his clarification that Harold only cares about Harold and helping to show he meant 'not a good supportive dad you can lean blindly on' than if he had just. left it at that. I'm glad for Ward's continuing with that line and for Danny's long, considering look at nothing afterward. Gives the sense that Danny feels that something is off, even if he's not sure what.

Colleeeeeeeeeeeeen and her shame and her truly believing in honoring the code of bushido and her teaching these children to get them "the scholarship" to help them in a legitimate, meaningful, honorable way (SOB) and believing that their skills should be about the code and not be about flashiness or showing off or being able to lord their power and ability over others or money -

Code of Bushido (Includes eight virtues, and this episode title is Eight Diagram Dragon Palm. Coincidence???)

1. Rectitude or Justice (refers to PERSONAL rectitude - “one’s power to decide upon a course of conduct in accordance with reason, without wavering” “the bone that gives firmness and stature...without Rectitude neither talent nor learning can make the human frame into a samurai.”)

2. Courage (Bushido distinguishes between bravery and courage - “Courage is doing what is right”)

3. Benevolence or Mercy (“Love, magnanimity, affection for others, sympathy and pity, are traits of Benevolence, the highest attribute of the human soul”)

4. Politeness (Courtesy is rooted in benevolence - “Politeness should be the expression of a benevolent regard for the feelings of others; it’s a poor virtue if it’s motivated only by a fear of offending good taste. In its highest form Politeness approaches love”)

5. Honesty and Sincerity (interestingly, rather than what *I* personally think of when I hear the words “honesty and sincerity”, the info in the Bushido code text about this virtue mostly centers around the idea of disdaining money and riches - probably what Colleen is talking about with her whole “fighting for money breaks the bushido code” thing)

6. Honor (referring to non-martial behavior)

7. Loyalty (bushido text about this seems mostly in context of loyalty to a superior, to your leader, to people you are indebted to. Applies tragically to Colleen and her personal experience with Hand culture. To me, of course, I am more interested in the idea of those leaders deserving your love and your loyalty hand-in-hand with it. Given the other virtues, this IS probably what the code meant to include, but from a modern standpoint it seems like one of those things where especially paramilitary organizations or cults like the Hand could twist the letter of it into an expectation of blindly following orders, even perhaps against your personal devotion to the other virtues)

8. Character and Self-Control (“Bushido teaches that men should behave according to an absolute moral standard, one that transcends logic. What’s right is right, and what’s wrong is wrong. The difference between good and bad and between right and wrong are givens, not arguments subject to discussion or justification, and a man should know the difference.” I get the ideal of this, but something about the wording sits weirdly with me... maybe the implication that they can’t make a mistake?)

Ageless qualities of manliness: choosing compassion over confrontation, and benevolence over belligerence <3

“The tie might be a touch effeminate” Shut UP Ward

Danny, at a press conference: *waves at Jeri* “Hey.” Jeri: *shakes her head*

Danny: “Yes, I was in a mental hospital.” Joy, despairingly: “Oh, Danny”

Jeri smiling. Maybe she worked with Danny on how to handle the press conference and likely questions he would face? My headcanon from this anyway. Ward and Joy looking at each other, seems like in surprise at Danny’s answers and spin?

“Kindness is the eternal law”

The way Danny slips in to this conversation with Joy about the Red Hook property for his Hand investigation is very well done. Reminds me of watching the Netflix trailer and thinking that it made IF look like a show where Danny was some form of government agent going undercover as himself for an investigation.

SO CUTE how Danny goes “woah, I have a first appointment of the day? Who is it?” and then he turns around and it’s his friend Jeri! Hahaha. Danny: “J-money!!” *goes in for a hug* Jeri: “Woah, we don’t do that.”

Jeri: “Your father’s office. Even found his old desk.” Meaning she was the one working on this - Ward is the one who had to set Danny up there after his sarcastic remarks in the penthouse, but Jeri brought in the sentimentality. (Jeri, directly after basically admitting to putting a bunch of effort into a very sentimental gesture here: “Now don’t get all weepy on me.”) Jeri in IF is so soft I love it

Danny: “I pretty much had to raise the dead.” *smirks to himself at his own inside joke*

Jeri, trying to give Danny advice: “For most of these people, you are a hostile takeover.” Me: JERI, HE DOESN’T UNDERSTAND THE NUANCES OF YOUR CORPORATE SPEAK.

Jeri asks if Danny wants the door open or closed. He chooses open. Open to Megan, open to all his new coworkers and employees. Danny is, at his core, for people.

LOL Did Danny just steal Ward’s chair?

Danny: *forces half the board to move so he can sit next to Joy* Me: DANNY

If these guys really wanted to persuade Danny to their point of view on the sell-at-cost thing, they should have emphasized the “funding new research” part of it instead of just repeating “this is just business” ad nauseam. Obviously Ward is actually trying to do the opposite right now and get Danny driven out, but idk what the rest of these people are thinking. Danny acknowledges that they can still make profits elsewhere, which is his side offering a dialogue to meet them. Their counter is that the WHO will be buying it from them and subsidizing it from other people. If they wanted to meet or even just appear to be meeting Danny partway, they could have suggested an initiative to work with the WHO on a program for that? Although since none of them want to actually do that and don’t really care what Danny thinks about it, I know why they didn’t.

Joy raising her eyebrow at Ward’s declaring that they’ll go to market at cost like “I see you Ward and how many times have I told you to leave the maneuvering to me you are unsubtle and unskilled”

Danny looking back at Ward significantly on his way to his discussion with Joy about the pier deal

Ward taking The Drugs before he has to answer Harold’s late night phone call

Harold: You did a great job today. Ward: *baffled expression* Harold: Now, son, this isn’t the time to point fingers, it’s the time for solutions. Ward: There it is. Harold: Also, you screwed up in the meeting and you need to make it up. Ward: *sigh*

Danny: white sneakers with the suit

Joy casually placing the monks and their traditional robes in a lower class position to them and their white collar formal business attire

Time for Joy to play the angle on Danny, curb his at-cost behavior for the future

The ringmaster choosing the second fighter for Colleen followed by that “look, you guys know all the rules” line - I like this guy. He probably remembers how the last dude Colleen fought was a rule-breaker and wants to keep all his fighters safe as possible in an already dangerous 2-on-1 fight like this.

Again with the camera slowing and the noise fading and the blood splattering camera work giving the “losing control” vibe

“The problem was, I never thought through WHY I wanted this job. I mistook my stubborn will for a sense of... destiny, or something.” (Danny, earlier: “My shifu would have called this destiny.”)

“Every moment was a struggle. Failure... led to a beating. Victory... led to another fighting style. To the next lesson.”

Joy flat out calls it abuse and Danny doesn’t deny it.

Vodka and tonic, light on the tonic.

Danny clearly still shaken by the borderline flashbacks to his life at K’un Lun.

Is this the first time the Hatchets appear? Just storming the apartment and punching Joy in the face? Danny and Joy must both be like “WHAT IS HAPPENING”

Joy tries punching one of them. Good for you, Joy.

Ah yes, Ward flat out telling one of the more shark-like reporters that the drug is a huge deal that would save millions of lives and that Rand was of course planning to really boost the price to make a “huge” profit. “That is a loss of hundreds of millions of dollars [that our one company wanted to make off of the millions of people who needed this drug to save their lives]. He’s worse than those bleeding-heart-liberal-trust-fund hipsters wandering around Williamsburg.” (Note: Williamsburg: hip neighborhood that draws the young and fashionable. Boutiques, cafes, street art, outdoor concerts and food markets. Dance clubs, bars, music halls. East Williamsburg is ranked one of the 5 most LGBTQ+ friendly neighborhoods in Brooklyn.)

“Ellison, don’t give the front page to Karen”

Ward just looks at her retreating back and rubs his hands together like “Ah yes, a job well done.” Biggest question for the viewers in this scene is probably: Did Ward tank this on purpose or is he really that far removed from the reality of the non-Elite?

Colleen: still bloody from her illegal cage fighting and hears noise outside her door. Last time she heard noise, it was attackers breaking in for what probably seemed to her like retaliation. Then it’s Danny and she has the relieved exasperation, but - oh ho, Joy Meachum?

“Wasn’t he stalking you?” “It was a misunderstanding.” “Right. I guess being a millionaire covers a multitude of sins.” (Danny: “Billionaire.” Colleen in the background: *disbelieving huff+head shake*)

TRIADS. Time for my triad rant: Every drama show ever to involve Asian-Americans - even just in one-episode specials - includes triads. I’m so sick of it. I know organized crime is a real problem that actually exists, but - why are the Asians always evil? It’s like having the mafia be a plotline every time an Italian character exists on screen. Plz diversify. Media colors perception.

Danny: literally just walks into a restaurant and says he needs to speak to the head of the crime gang. AND THEN NONE OF THEM EVEN BOTHER TRYING TO DENY IT. The Hatchets literally just open the door to their backroom where you can clearly see their illegal activity and come out to talk to Danny. What if he was working with the cops, guys?

It’s so scary how the Yangshi Gonsi react to the mention of the Hand. Well done, IF.

“Joke around the house was that Danny and I were pledged to be married.” (“In another life, this would have been romantic.”) (THIS CREEPS ME OUT THOUGH in a very personally specific triggering way as someone who spent their childhood running around with a boy that I found out later people thought was gonna “knock me up someday.” #BARF)

Colleen has a billionaire in her dojo learning how to punch on a dummy held together with duct tape because she can’t afford to fix it. (Also: Colleen's dojo is also for self-defense classes. Joy was just attacked by hatchet-wielders.)

Danny: "The hatchets won’t be a problem anymore." and then doesn’t elaborate. DANNY THAT SOUNDS SO SHADY. YOU LOOK SO SHADY RIGHT NOW.

Danny: *reaches out and touches Colleen’s hand* Colleen: *flinches back* What are you doing? DANNY. DANNY, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. You seriously have no idea how you come across. Joy is watching all this like “wow....ok.”

Danny used to fight in illegal fight clubs on his way back from K’un Lun. Along with his obtaining an illegal fake ID. New headcanon: Danny is actually super connected to the criminal underground worldwide. Mob bosses everywhere have a soft spot for him. He’s somewhere on a mission with Ward/Colleen/Defenders/HfH and acting like he knows the area, someone recognizes him and he starts chatting cheerfully with them, suddenly they’re being greeted and helped out by people deep in the black market scene while Danny bear hugs someone that most people clearly fear and his companions look on with wide eyes.

Danny, a literal billionaire: Remember how I offered to pay you six months rent for helping me out? Colleen, broke as hell: My denial stands.

Danny: So how are we gonna tell Ward? (framing them - all three of them - as a team) Joy: lmao, are we thinking about the same Ward? You want to tell the most overprotective big brother in the world that men with hatchets attacked his sister? Do you remember what he did to those bullies when we were 8?

Gao: *black bags Harold, refuses to tell him where they’re taking him, doesn’t reveal that this particular instance is him landing on the ‘good’ side of the scale until the last possible second.*

Ugh, he just puts that sword back in the scabbard with all the blood still on it? Improper blade care

Oh yeah, I guess this is the audience’s first scene showing that Harold is capable of cold-blooded murder

I notice that this article may be the front page of the business section, but is NOT the front of the newspaper. Sorry, Jennifer.

[I had initially transcribed the article here, but have made it it's own post which can be found here. Notes on the article, though: Jennifer was very kind to the Meachums in it, given what Ward was actually saying. Also, which Bulletin employee fell down on grammar checking that thing?]

Danny’s Jeri-given apartment doesn’t have a number on the door, but does have some sort of cherry blossom branches etching in the plate?

The Hatchet box!!! (congrats again @Sholio LOL) Yang Hai-Qing wants Danny to get rid of the Hand too. He wasn’t gonna mess with them, explained they didn’t know about the Hand's involvement when they went after Joy, and apologized, but then the Hand came to his restaurant and killed one of his men anyway.

Ah yes, the great tattoo reveal. Also, is that a bullet’s pucker scar on Danny’s left shoulder?

#Iron Fist #iron fist rewatch #eight diagram dragon palm #my stuff #the immortal iron fist #i am lagging so badly on this rewatch!!#but this episode literally took me all day

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dantecampanas · 4 years

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hello all, i’m pepper and i have never been on time for anything, ever, in my life dsjksdkj, but i am literally so much later than usual though, i am so sorry y’all but to make up for my tardiness under the cut is some stuff about this mess, dante. it’s messed up ride so i hope you enjoy? also, like this if you want to plot and i’ll literally come sprinting okay.

BIO ; tl;dr basically craig kielburger, but make it dark

to start here is Dante’s pinterest board.

and here is a song that reminds me of him so much it may as well be his anthem but also this other song because i wrote his app to it basically, it reminds me a lot of him, more the vibe than the actual lyrics but still.

okay so Dante’s family is kind of inspired by the Quinns (from ‘You’ on Netflix), the Castillos (from How to Get Away with Murder) and like Henry Goulding’s family in Crazy Rich Asians.

Dante Isaac Campana was brought into the world in Madrid, Spain with a silver spoon dangling out of his mouth. You’d never guess from looking at him, what with his hobo chic style and generally unkempt appearance but it’s the truth. He came in this world out of a well paid surrogate as the second child of the famous Sofia and Gabriel Campana, and he wanted for nothing because for it. His parents made sure of that.

Gabriel was a CEO and Sofia was a wildly successful author, and from the moment Dante could breathe his parents had his whole life set up for him. After all they wanted their son to be successful and they planned to make sure of it. A hefty trust fund in his name, to be accessible at the age of eighteen. A place in the family business that he would fill the moment he finished university. They even had an arrangement for who Dante would marry eventually, before he was even old enough to understand what the concept of marriage was. It was all planned out for Dante without the slightest bit of input from Dante himself, and Dante was just supposed to accept that. The funny thing is, at first, he did.

After all he was young, and he had no reason not to. He loved his parents deeply, passionately, but honestly, that was how Dante loved anything. One of his very first memories of his life is of his grandmother. They used to feed the ducks together when he was a child. Dante would throw whole loaves of bread into the water and his grandmother would always laugh and laugh until there were tears building at the corners of her wrinkled eyes. And one day, the day of the memory in question, Dante remembers her sitting him on her knee, smoothing back his wild curls and telling him that he was born with a heart too big for his body. A heart too big for this family. Dante was too young to know what it meant at the time, but it stuck with him. And by the time he was old enough to understand it, he knew she was right.

The truth is the Campanas were cold. Dante for the most part was an anomaly. Because while his parents probably did love him in return, they had an odd way of showing it. Cold hands pressed to warm cheeks, thin smiles of approval that didn’t quite reach their eyes. Never the words ‘i love you’, or ‘i’m proud of you’, or ‘i believe in you’, but instead the heavy feeling of expectation. If you wanted love, you had to earn it. If you wanted them to be proud of you, you had to do something to make them proud. Not be a person to make them proud, no. You had to do something.

So when Dante was twelve years old he did. Not on purpose mind you. Dante wasn’t even thinking of his parents in his pursuit, only of others. You see, when Dante was twelve years old he, mostly accidentally, started a non profit. I say accidentally because that wasn’t really what Dante was setting out to do. Honestly, it all started when he met a homeless teenager not much older than him, sat beside them on the little street corner they begged on, and was struck by the overwhelming, gnawing need to help. To make things better. To protect them, because no one else was doing it. It started with Dante rallying up the children at his private school, and later those children’s parents, and later those children’s grandparents. Or maybe it really started when Dante climbed up on the stage one school assembly, took the mic from their principal’s hands and gave an impromptu speech on the cause. No, to be honest, it really started when someone recorded that speech and put it on YouTube. Because the moment that speech went viral, so did Dante and his charity.

Even today if you look up Dante Campana you will be assaulted by a myriad of articles and photos of young Dante giving impassioned lectures to interviewers, to audiences, to millions of people over livestream. It was just something that Dante was passionate about that became much bigger than he intended, but he didn’t mind. He was helping people. He used the money that the charity brought in to build youth shelters, and food banks, and rehabilitation centers, all for homeless kids. It was everything he wanted.

And for once, his parents were proud. They loved him. They didn’t say it, but Dante knew it from the way they looked at him. Like he was their pride and joy. (Later, he would look back on that look. It would strike him as disturbingly too close to how one might look at a shiny new trophy, and he would never be able to look at his parents the same way again.)

Dante only became aware of how conditional his parents love for them was when his elder sister started to slip under the pressure they put on her shoulders. Anya Campana was about sixteen at the time, and Dante, three years her younger, had to watch as his sister crumbled. Anya had always cared too much about what their parents thought of her, about impressing them and making them proud. It didn’t help that her parents made it clear that they would not accept anything less than excellence from her, their first born. Anya was supposed to be their champion. The head of the family once their father was gone. The pressure of it all drove Anya to the edge. At first the edge was just adderall. Later cocaine, just to take the edge off, just to make things easier. To help her focus. Dante remembers catching her in the act. Remembers her crying. Remembers being shocked still, and just staring and staring as his perfect sister literally fell apart at his feet.

It wasn’t long until the weight of their parents expectations had drove Anya to a full on addiction, all in the pursuit of their favour. But of course, when Dante’s parents found out about Anya’s problem, they had no sympathy for her. Only disappointment. That ‘slip up’ cost Anya her role. She could no longer be the head of the family if her resolve was that weak; instead the position would fall to Dante, and Anya would be sent quietly, and shamefully, to rehab. it was an eye opening experience for Dante, honestly. To see just how replaceable their parents saw them.

The Campanas brand of cold was also fake. Plastic. Sure, they smiled in the public eye and the relationship between the siblings at least was genuine, but the truth was Gabriel was cheating on Sofia when he thought no one was looking (Dante was. A story for another time), and Sofia had openly slapped each of her children across the face at least once, usually when she got a bit too much wine in her. The older Dante got the more and more he felt his love for his parents becoming more of an obligation than anything tangible. Something cold and plastic itself. And he despised it.

When Dante was fifteen, just after Anya’s second stint in rehab, he and his sister were spending the day together to catch up. All they wanted to do was get ice cream together, talk a bit. But those plans were foiled when a black indistinct car rolled up beside them, and before Anya and Dante could even put up much of a fight, they were both blindfolded and tied up in the back of the car. It honestly shouldn’t have been as surprising as it was considering the Campanas were easily the wealthiest family in Spain. But the kidnapping was traumatic and shocking to Dante, especially because of course all these men wanted was money.

Their kidnappers called his father with every intention to get said money within the day. They asked him for one billion dollars for each child, which was a lot of money, but not an amount that the Campanas didn’t have, or couldn’t get access to if need be. But it was then that Dante got the second big shock of his life. His father refused to pay. Dante remembers his blood running cold at the statement heard over the speaker. He remembers his sister crying. He remembers the kidnapper shoving the phone into his face, demanding he beg his father otherwise. To convince him to love him enough to pay for his life. Dante remembers crying so much it hurt. Before that day he didn’t know that was possible.

The kidnappers gave their father a deadline. He had a full twenty four hours to get the money, or they would be killing one of his children. Their father agreed, and so Dante and Anya were left in the hands of their kidnappers for a full day. Dante still hasn’t properly talked to anyone about what happened during that time, and he’s not even sure he can. Honestly, looking back, the memories of it all are all a blur. Like even his hindsight is blurred with his tears.

The hour came and their father was called. He was asked for the money and told that if he didn’t pay it, his daughter would be shot. Once again, he refused. Dante can remember the gut wrenching sound Anya made at the news. It was at the chilling mid point between a sob and a scream. He can remember crying himself, but trying to comfort her as much as he could with his arms tied behind his back. And because he was touching her, he can remember the exact moment Anya flinched from the gunshot fired into her stomach. He can remember the warmth of her blood over his skin.

Dante can’t remember much after that. It’s like his mind filmed that day with a fish eye lens and half a roll of film. All blur, until it cuts out. More blur, and then it cuts out. The next thing he properly remembers is being in a hospital bed for shock. He remembers seeing his parents there. And he remembers being filled with a hatred more consuming than anything he ever felt before. Apparently he lunged at his father in a moment of rage. He doesn’t remember it, but enough doctors attested to it for Dante to find himself with a semi permanent place in mandated therapy. Well, due to that specific moment and, you know. The circumstances.

Dante learned that day that to his father, he and his sister were of different value. Dante was worth more than Anya. He didn’t mess up as much, or quite as publicly, and with everything with his charity, the media loved him. He was smart, and charismatic, and maybe he was a bit sensitive, but he could grow out of that. If they lost Anya, so what? They had Dante. He would lead the family to greatness.

And Dante did. After an abundance of therapy of course, well, during an abundance of therapy. Despite it all, somehow Dante didn’t buckle under the pressure. He took some time off from school, but once he got back to it his grades were the same as ever. He spent some time away from his charity, but once he was ready, he threw himself back into it with a single minded focus. He made a foundation for Anya, his sister. His world. And then he moved on. Came back stronger. At least in the public eye.

Privately, Dante was furious, and disgusted, and grieving. His sister, his confidante and likely one of the two people in his life to love him unconditionally, was gone. And she was never coming back. And Dante would never, ever be the same. He remembers attending Anya’s funeral. Seeing everyone cloaked in the colour she always hated, crying over her and telling lies about how much they adored her. He remembers his mother saying how proud she was of her daughter. He remembers his father saying how much he loved her. And he remembers feeling nothing. He remembers getting up on stage, drunk, and numb, and he remembers looking hard at them all. He vaguely remembers telling them all to fuck themselves, but after that? The film cuts out.

Dante spent a lot of time leaning on his friends then. Hiding from the sharks that were the paparazzi. Dante’s pain was like a healing wound, and they were drawn to it like the animals they were. Picked at to see if they could get him to bleed again. How are you coping, Dante? Will you be testifying in the court case, Dante? How much do you miss Anya, Dante? There is footage of Dante ripping a paparazzo's camera straight out of their hands and throwing it at them. Or at least there was. His father got rid of it before it could truly make it to the press, and the paparazzo, well, he walked away with three new stitches in his eyebrow and a significantly heavier wallet. Dante, for his part, walked away empty.

The truth was, now Dante was plastic. The bleeding heart that he once was now sadly hollow. He played the part though. And he played it well. To the world Dante was the golden boy. Any mistakes or slip ups were covered up neatly by his father, or his mother, or both. And the legend of Dante Campana, child philanthropist, and hero lived on. Y’see, Dante’s mother wrote a book about the whole experience, and took some creative liberties. In the novel, Dante tried to save his sister. Fought his captors. Held her hand as she bled out. As sick as it is, Dante read it, hoping it might jog some of his memories from the whole incident. It didn’t, but it could have been true for all Dante knew. Didn’t make him hate his mother any less for profiting off of the whole thing.

Eventually, Dante graduated. Accepted a position at Ashcroft University. And then he was handpicked for the Imperium Society. And that’s where he met Lady Macbeth.

And It was like for the first time in three years, Dante was living his life in colour again. He fell, and he fell hard, almost immediately upon meeting them, which was as much of a surprise to him as it was anyone else. Yes, Dante had dated before, and had crushes but he didn’t necessarily believe in love. Not after his parents lousy display of the whole thing. But he met them and that changed. He was consumed by love. Driven by it. He would do anything for them, absolutely anything. And he made that very clear very quickly, and never wavered. Not once.

In the time that Dante loved them he was brought back to some semblance of his old self. He found his passion again. He found his happiness again. And he knew it was because of them. They brought him back to himself. They made him better. And the gratitude, and codependency, and love all stirred itself into a poisonous mess that was more adoration, or rather idolization, than love. What he felt for her was something all consuming and probably not entirely healthy, but something that Dante dedicated himself to, like a religion.

Which is why when they told him about the issue with Octavia Dante was so incensed about it. For the most part, despite previous outbursts, Dante was kind. A peacekeeper. A joker. A lover. But when it came to those he loved, after everything with Anya, Dante was painfully protective. He promised himself long ago that no one coming after those he loved would get away with it. Not again.

That said, when Dante went to meet with Octavia he did his best to be calm. To be levelheaded, and understanding, and kind. But Dante’s reputation must have preceded him, because Octavia didn’t seem to see any reason why she should listen to him. Dante was the artist. The charity guy. The hippie. He was about as threatening as a puppy, or at least his public image was. Her words were sharp, and her disposition was cold, and Dante wouldn’t have cared, he truly wouldn’t have cared if the words she spat were just directed at him. But the moment Lady Macbeth was brought into things, Dante snapped, Othello’s presence be damned.

The film cut out.

The next thing Dante remembers is the aftermath. The water bottle he’d bought to reuse, to spare the plastic, to save the environment, to save the world, now ironically covered in blood. His hands slick with it for the second time in his life. Othello’s understandable panic. The shock was thick as fog once again, and the next thing Dante knows he’s at Lady Macbeth’s door, eyes hollow and hands shaking around the water bottle as he fully realizes what he’s done.

He never meant to. It was an accident. He lost control. All he wanted to do was protect them.

But somehow instead they ended up protecting him. And leaving him for Othello. A large part of Dante knows that he deserves nothing less. That what he did is a crime that deserves a much larger punishment, one that Lysander unfairly took on for him. But his heart is heavy with guilt, and now heartbreak on top of it all.

As if watching Lysander go to prison for his misdeeds and witnessing Lady Macbeth and Othello in their honeymoon phase all wasn’t enough torture, well, then there was Octavia’s ghost. Which was truly the most painful torture at all. Every time she visits Dante just ends up with breaking down. Terrified, guilty and asking for her forgiveness. He’s pretty sure it’s not helping in the slightest though, and he can’t blame her for being angry. She has every right to be, and honestly Dante is quickly reaching the breaking point. He’s seriously considering just turning himself in to appease her, and to make things right for Lysander, and he would do so in a heartbeat if there wasn’t the risk of Lady Macbeth going down with him. So Dante is at a stand still. Miserable, and in pain, but doing his best not to show it to keep up appearances. Luckily it’s an act he’s been putting on for a good portion of his life, so he’s good at it. But he’s crumbling at the edges, and he’s not sure how much longer it’ll take for everyone to notice.

To cope Dante has been indulging in a lot of his sister’s old habits. Drinking. Drugs. The same mechanisms he used to cope with her death, but quit once he met Lady Macbeth. Now, without them, he’s just using leaning on them in an attempt to make things easier.

PERSONALITY ; god who knows dkjsdjksd dante is very fresh and new so he’s a bit of a mess in my brain and he will definitely develop into something new passed this point but

PASSIONATE! god he’s so passionate, like dante just feels everything on 10 one hundred percent of the time, especially since lady macbeth came into his life. The type to get teary eyed over a dead bird, but also the type to like stay up five days straight working on a project because he can’t get it out of his mind.

despite this used to think romantic love was a straight up myth lmao because of his parents relationship, so we love a contradictory king. a bleeding heart but also a philophobe, and now a murderer, wow what a resume. lady macbeth changed that a lot for him, so for like a WHILE dante like became the poetry writing, love is the answer, romantic which had to be a drastic change for anyone who knew him before

nurturing honestly? but only with people he actually cares about like juliet or lady macbeth.

but also impulsive, as we can see, like dante doesn’t tend to really think before he makes any decisions. he just does things man

thinks he’s funny! sometimes he is tbh. a bit of a good natured goofball generally. willing to do pretty much anything to cheer someone up

a big ol’ flirt just naturally, like he’s honestly very charming, but like so was ted bundy yk. also bi, but like all my muses are, so sdkjsdkj are we surprised at all, i don’t think so.

very touchy feely tbh because he’s a tactile person.

a live and let live kinda guy like actually,,, so close to a hippie it’s not even funny.

a bit promiscuous more so before lady macbeth came into his life and he became entirely enamored, and now a bit because he’s heartbroken and just looking for any sort of connection.

the most generous person when it comes to money and kindness. the type to sit down with a homeless person and end up giving them his jacket, five hundred dollars, and a new outlook on life as he leads them to one of his youth centers. Has actually thrown himself into his charity a lot more since Octavia’s death. Is kind of viewing the whole thing as penance.

the type to hold a grudge until the day he dies, but also the type of person who can’t NOT help someone who needs help you know. like he hates his parents but if his mother called him tomorrow like i want to see you one last time before i die, he would fly out to spain to see her.

very liberal. literally can’t talk to conservatives without wanting to physically fight them. has definitely gone to protests and gotten arrested for punching a nazi, but his father probably covered it up.

HEADCANNONS ; alright now onto the fun stuff

fun fact, was actually brought into the world via surrogate because his parents had a lot of trouble conceiving, like both of them were pretty much impotent. so he’s not technically blood related to either of his parents, neither was anya.

deaf in his left ear and has been all his life. it’s kind of difficult for him to hear a specific person talking in a crowd of too many people, especially if you’re standing on his left so he might straight up text you instead. also if you’re standing on his left side in general, he might turn to face you to better hear you. can speak multiple different sign languages including asl, bsl, auslan, and of course catalan.

has delightful spanish accent but speaks fluent english because of all the networking he grew up doing with his parents, also you know, very expensive private school. also is fluent in french, italian, romanian and portuguese, like just the romance languages honestly. he’s traveled a lot though so he can get by in a few other languages, which basically means he can hold a stilted conversation and ask where the bathroom is.

Despite his charity being his life and occupation kind of, at heart Dante is an artist. Like his art is everything to him and his is actually quite popular. He gets a lot of offers from people wanting to buy it but he can never part with anything he’s made so he always refuses the offers, no matter how much money the customer is bidding. It’s not like Dante needs the money anyways, so he has refused offers on grounds of menial things such as ‘i didn’t like the vibes he was giving off’ or ‘he looked like a republican’ or even, once ‘pretty sure i saw that guy in a dream once. god, he sucked.’ So most of his art decorates his dorm room instead, and he’ll even give some to friends for free. Dante actually wanted to become a full time artist once he graduated, along with keeping up with his charity but considering how picky he is about who actually buys his art, he’ll literally make no money, which is okay because again, he’s rich. Now though, he’s considering just pouring himself into his charity and forgetting about his art because, you know, penance dkjdf.

Actually learned to cook from his family chef, and is really, really good at it, like professional level good at it. He hasn’t really had time to get any actual professional training but he really wants to. He has absolutely snuck into culinary school very briefly before just to sit in on a few classes. Just pretended he went there and made a bunch of friends and he learned a lot of stuff, and even taught some culinary students a few things. He was eventually discovered, but then he made friends with the professor, and now he just comes by whenever he wants or has the time. That’s the kind of guy Dante is.

Honestly pretty good at anything having to do with his hands, like if he had a label it’d probably be the artisan. Dante is the type of person who knows nothing about like mechanics but can like fix something if you put it in front of him. Likes to make furniture as a hobby, so hit your boy up if you want a sexy chair. Also makes sculptures and does a bit of pottery, like he’s a jack of all trades when it comes to tactile things only.

Intelligent in the way that he just has a lot of pretty well informed opinions like if you want a fun fact don’t go to Dante but if you want a good insightful conversation he’s your man. Not like… clever at all though, like he doesn’t have a manipulative or conniving bone in his body, and it’s really hard for him to tell when he’s being manipulated or taken advantage of. He thinks with his heart rather than his brain honestly. Like if you’ve ever heard the story of the foolish traveler... that’s Dante’s fool ass. If you haven’t here it is.

A big defender of the environment. He was planning on launching a charity for that too, and honestly he’s probably throwing himself into that project to stop thinking about all this.

Has a bunch of tattoos, usually of his own art or other art that’s moved him. I imagine him with at least one sleeve that’s beautiful, and he’s probably starting another. Is seriously considering a neck tat. His parents would hate it and that just makes him love it more.

If you watch jenna marbles i want you to know that Dante is Julian in the kitchen and Julian in the kitchen only, but somehow everything he makes end up coming out near perfect anyways.

surprisingly has a green thumb? can revive almost any plant with relative ease.

never learnt how to ride a bike tbh, but does ride a motorcycle so?

Has taken to religion like a mad man ever since Octavia’s death, like he’s suddenly at church once a week. He tells everybody that it’s for his art, and that he just wants to study the stained glass, but really he’s praying for Octavia’s forgiveness. He’s pretty sure it’s not working in the slightest though.

Kind of salty that Octavia of all people is haunting him but he hasn’t seen his sister’s ghost once. Actually kind of believes in the supernatural and karma and all that, so he wasn’t too shocked by the whole Octavia coming to him in the night thing. Always thought that he could feel his sister watching over him so, now at least he has that confirmed.

suffers from black outs, but i feel like that was obvious in my little bio sksdjkjsd straight up has stretches of time that he has no recollection of. it tends to happen when he gets really angry or in really traumatizing situations but honestly people close to dante probably know that he’s just lost stretches of time like you could mention something from his childhood or even a few weeks ago (actually especially a few weeks ago) and dante would just be like... i don’t remember that. honestly has been feeling like he’s kinda going crazy since his sister died, so literally since he was like fifteen oof.

has been painting some pretty dark stuff lately like since the whole octavia thing, like just in tone and color. probably a bit reminiscent of the stuff he painted after anya for those who knew him then, but if you met him after lady macbeth then this is a drastic change because his art got very beautiful and full of life then you know.

#spectreintro #d.c. | bio.#i'm gonna just post this so i can stop looking at it #otherwise imma drive myself up the WALL

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