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redbullgirly · 2 months

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HI BABRIE! HI KEN! [part 3, LH44 smau]

Lewis Hamilton x pregnant!reader [social media au]

Masterlist & Hi Barbie! Hi Ken! [part 1, LH44 smau] & Hi Barbie! Hi Ken! [part 2, LH 44 smau]

Summary: Lewis and his "real-life Barbie" girlfriend Y/N Y/L/N have a secret they keep from the fans. Though it's only matter of time before they announce the happy news... it's not like it can stay hidden forever anyways.

Warnings: Pregnancy. Slight hate and bodyshaming towards Y/N. If you're not in the right headspace, please don't read it!🫶

Author's Note: After quite some time, hello! I'm so sorry this took so long, but life has been so busy and hectic last month I simply didn't have time and energy to write this sooner. Though I'm very glad for everyone who waited for this part and I hope you'll like it. It's probably not the last one, I have few ideas for more parts. But I don't want to promise anything, we all know how long this part took XD.

lewishamilton posted on instagram

liked by orlandobloom, f1, sebastianvettel, emmawatson and others

tagged: yourcharity

lewishamilton So proud to support charity program for the involvement of children from disadvantaged families in sports yourusername has been working on for a few years now. All money raised from the friendly basketball match goes to the fond of the charity. Let's change lives of these talented kids together! 💫🙏🏾

view all 18,349 comments

user1 basketball players should be grateful our king chose to be f1 driver 😌

user2 fr

yourusername together we can change the world for better!! 💫💕

liked by the author

user3 You make our lives better by existing Y/N😍😍

user4 I think this is too idealistic lol

user5 queen speaking facts and keeping us motivated

user6 LET HER COOK 🗣🗣🗣

user7 Sir Lewis Hamilton is Sir for a reason 👑

mercedesamgf1 🙏🤍

user8 even though he'll be driving for ferrari next year mercedes still supports him!!!

user9 and what did you think? that they'll ignore him or hate him suddenly? he still got a whole season w them 🤣 plus it's all marketing

user10 nah i'll just live in delusion that admin loves lewis & y/n🥰🥰🥰🥰

user11 I love how you use your platform to raise awareness

user12 omg he's so hot 🥵

user13 Wait, why is Lewis at Y/N's charity event instead of her? I usually support her, but this is just weird... why can't she stand up for her own thing?

user14 RIGHT?! idk why she didn't even bother showing there

user15 Honestly I think that Lewis going there brings more attention to it than just her going there, and it's a good thing people are noticing this organization. Though I don't understand why she didn't go there as well 🤷‍♀️

user16 guys stop wtf she could be sick or smth

user14 or she's just another attention seeker... never liked her tbh

user16 the only attention seeker here is u user14 get a life and stop hating 😘

user14 i'm not hating, i'm stating facts and unlike y/n i don't need a man to do shit for me lmfao

user17 Y'all are really getting mad over nothing xddd

user18 Amazing work! 👏 you make the difference, Lewis😍🖤💛

user19 the fact he has pink pants bc it's y/n's fav color and it's for a charity event she helped organize... i want a man like him 😩

user20 He's down bad for her!!!

user21 I mean... who wouldn't, just look at her🤭

user22 fr what i'd give to talk to y/n once

user23 Our fashion barbie iconic Queen 💖💖

user24 Lew giving the little boy a fist bump🥹

user25 he is going to be a great dad one day

user24 Oh definitely!🫶

user26 can't wait for dad lewis

user27 omggg imagine little him and y/n running around the paddock 😭😭

user26 they'll be sooo cute istg

twitter

yourusername posted on instagram

liked by lewishamilton, lilymhe, landonorris, isahernaez and 639,910 others

tagged: mercedesamgf1, lewishamilton and roscoelovescoco

yourusername japan grand prix w my favs 🇯🇵🤍

view all 4,249 comments

lewishamilton 🤍🤍

liked by the author

user1 awww i live for bf lewis

user2 YOU DESERVE SOMEONE BETTER

user3 and who would that be user2 ?? you? lmfao u wish🤣🤣

user4 the disrespect of writing these things under HIS COMMENT where he shows SUPPORT to HIS GIRLFRIEND...

user5 Lewis & Y/N 4ever 🫶

user6 omg look at roscoe baby so cute

user7 the teeth I can't🥹

user8 It's Roscoe's world and we're just living in it fr

alexandrasaintmleux so prettyyy 🙏🌺

liked by lewishamilton and roscoelovescoco

yourusername oh stoppp u are prettier 💓💐

user9 Girls supporting girls and wags supporting wags... that's what we like!!!!

user10 the fact lewis liked alex's comment w two accounts is the best thing that happened this week😭

user11 shut uppp I didn't even notice it before user10 😭 he's such a simp I love this 😭😭

user10 i knoooow😭

user12 finally you attended a grand prix this year!!!!

user13 😍😍😍😍😍

mercedesamgf1 It's always brighter with you in the paddock Barbie Y/N!💖

liked by the author, lewishamilton and carmenmmundt

yourusername next time i'm going all out w the pink 💖🫶

user14 the legend herselffff

user15 Admin is slaying and supporting Y/N 💁‍♀️

user16 MOTHER IS SERVING ONCE AGAIN🧎🏻‍♀️

roscoelovescoco Enjoying's dad's racing's w my's best's mum's ☺️🏎

yourusername enjoying dad racing w my best son 🥹💕

user17 not roscoe slowly learning y/n's slang and saying w instead of with🤭

user18 and the fact Lewis is the one really writing it... !!!!!

user19 They're such cute a family🥰

user20 mum and dad and son... I can't it's too adorable 🫠❤️‍🩹

user21 Literally the queen of f1 and gorgeousness keep slaying

user22 where is the usual barbie aesthetic?!😥

user23 fr I want pink dresses not blue trousers

user24 Guys she can wear whatever she wants

user23 yeah true but still... she already built that image so why not keep it wtf 🤷‍♀️

user25 Covering her fat stomach with the purse ewww 🤢🥴

user26 i wanna take u haters seriously... but I just can't xd

user27 if you have anger issues like me and don't like online trolls, pls stop scrolling people! there are so many dumb users from twitter in these comments!🙃

user28 I just don't get why they're hating on Y/N all of sudden... what did she ever do to them

user29 idk, probably bcs she wasn't active for a while (she was probably not feeling well or smth as she said in an interview few days back) and didn't attend any gp till japan this year (again she was probably sick so understandable)... plus lot of f1 "fans" are jealous bitches change my mind

user30 Internet always moves in waves and one time everybody loves u and then they hate u 😬

user31 yeah but it's so sad cause y/n is such a sweetheart🥺❤️

user32 I honestly wouldn't care about the haters if they didn't attack her body and the way she looks... that's down right embarrassing and disgusting

user33 AGREED user32

twitter & messages between Y/N and Lewis

lewishamilton and yourusername posted on instagram

liked by maxverstappen1, shawnmendes, t22felton, charles_leclerc and 27,925,028 others

lewishamilton It's hard to put into words how happy and excited we are. Can't wait to hold our baby in a few months and support my dearest love on every step of the way. Feeling blessed right now 🤍🪐

comments on this post have been limited

charles_leclerc Well, that's a shocking news I didn't know about this time...😂

charles_leclerc But big congratulations!❤️

yourusername yeah we needed to give u heart attack w smth too 😉💋

susie_wolff Congratulations Lewis and Y/N, you will be great parents! 💫🫶

yourusername thx susie, we have great role models in u and toto!!! ✨❤️‍🩹

lewishamilton 🫶🏾🫶🏾

kellypiquet what a great news!🥹

yourusername love u kelly 💕

sebastianvettel Many congratulations!

lewishamilton Thank you Seb!

yourusername will u be the fun uncle??? pls seb 🥹🙏

sebastianvettel If you'll make me their godfather....

yourusername done deal 🤝

lewishamilton I-... fair enough, done deal

fencer EXCUSE ME?!! THAT'S NOT FAIR

charles_leclerc Yeah what is this favorism?!

yourusername guys it's seb how could we say no 😌✨

charles_leclerc True... fair enough then I guess 🙂

fencer I still feel VERY offended

yourusername charles don't use that ironic emoji on me and fencer u can have the second child

lewishamilton Darling that sounds like you're sacrificing our second child while the first one isn't even born yet...

yourusername whoops 🫢🙈

sebastianvettel Do you realize this is not a private conversation?

yourusername actually u can set selected comments private seb 😁

charles_leclerc Wait seriously?!

lewishamilton No, she's just testing if he's old enough to believe her 🙄

yourusername you're sour bc u believed me the first time i tried it love ☺️🫶

sebastianvettel This is exactly why I didn't have Instagram sooner.

charles_lecerc We love you Seb!❤️

yourusername yeah we do love u our new godfather!!!!💖

mercedesamgf1 Congratulations from the whole team!🤩🤍

liked by the author

alexandrasaintmleux awww so happy for both of u!💞

yourusername hope you're prepared to be the fav auntie 🤭💋

alexandrasaintmleux anything for my little nephew or niece hamilton 🫡

scuderiaferrari The next world champion on the way?😍❤️

yourusername pls i hope they'll stay far away from racing 😭

scuderiaferrari Well... then we'll at least get another tifosi 😉

georgerussell68 Wishing all the best mate!

liked by the author

landonorris Wooohooo congrats!!!

landonorris Wait- do y'all realize you'll be parents now? Like real REAL parents of an actual child?!

yourusername yeah lando that's how it usually works when u get pregnant 😊

landonorris Yeah but... wait! The child needs to be McLaren fan!

yourusername your mission to get all hamiltons to be your fan is getting more complicated, isn't it? 😂🫢

landonorris Shhhh Y/N it's a secret mission 🤫

yourusername oh my bad sry

yourusername wait why do i know about it then???

landonorris Ehhh... miscalculation?

yourusername tf lando 😭

lewishamilton I'm starting to think this baby will be our second child and Lando is our first...

landonorris Wow so can I officially say Lewis Hamilton is my daddy now?😀

lewishamilton NO

yourusername lando don't you dare or istg

landonorris Byeee parents!! 🤗

f1 Let's go! 💖👶

francisca.cgomes babyyyyy 🤎🍂

pierregasly Why the leaves?

francisca.cgomes bcs it's an autumn babyyyyy

yourusername love u kika 💕

pierregasly Oh congrats by the way!🫶

yourusername thx pierre 💕

logansargeant RAAAAAHHH 🇺🇸🦅

logansargeant Sorry alex_albon took my phone 😒 I wanted to say congratulations!🤍

alex_albon 😇

yourusername lol

yourusername but thx sm logan, you're such a sweetheart! 🫶

lilymhe I swear it'll be the cutest baby ever

yourusername babe it'll totally will if u say so 💋

kevinmagnussen 🙌

hulkhulkenberg Welcome to the dad's club on the grid Lewis! 😉

liked by the author

oscarpiastri What a happy day, congratulations! 🧡

yourusername what's the orange heart doing here oscahh??? 🤨

oscarpiastri 💖

oscarpiastri Better now?

yourusername thx oscar sm for the congrats!🥰 also you should use my signature heart emoji more often 💖

twitter

yourusername posted on instagram

liked by haileybieber, martagarcialopez19, mercedesamgf1 and 834,981 others

tagged: lewishamilton and alexandrasaintmleux

yourusername enjoying the barbie life 💖💐

view all 2,013 comments

lewishamilton Beautiful, gorgeous and my Barbie!

yourusername awww my ken 💞🫶

user1 omg i love them sm

user2 I wanna have what they have

user3 the effect bf Lewis has on me should be studied 😩

user4 Just the fact he usually isn't active on ig and doesn't comment or anything... and she is the only exception😭🤭

user5 gorgeous literally so gorgeous

user6 The baby bump 🥹🥹

user7 and she looks so good with it too 🥹🥹

alexandrasaintmleux such good times hanging out with my fav barbie! 💋💖

yourusername the best times girly!!! 💕

user8 i live for this friendship

user9 Imagine these two next year in Ferrari garage together!😍

user10 literally the only good thing coming out of lewis leaving mercedes

user11 fr fr user10

user12 Are those flowers from Lewis???

roscoelovescoco Yeah's they'res from's dad's 🌻☺️

user13 OH MY GOD ROSCOE HIIII

user12 Can't believe Lewis Hamilton replied to my comment as his dog 😭

user13 lol user12 u really won life xd

user14 this is sooo cuteee 😻

user15 You and Alex look so good together! Hope you'll be friends forever!

kellypiquet where's the bag from? it's so pretty! 😍🤍

yourusername idk lew gave it to me for christmas last year... i'll ask and let u know!! 🤍🫶

kellypiquet 🫶

user16 The queens of the paddock right here 🙌

user17 still can't believe y/n & lewis are going to be parent in a few months

user18 RIGHT?! It's like a fever dream for me 😭

user19 Yeah i was excited for dad Lewis so long that now I can't believe it's finally happening 🤭❤️

user20 the best wag right here

user21 and soon the best mum!

user22 Ur STUNNING 😭💖

user23 Woman 💅

user24 proud to say i never hated on Y/N

user25 YES

user26 always knew she's the queen 👸💗

lewishamilton posted on instagram

liked by naomischiff, gigihadid, susie_wolff, riabish and 2,452,906 others

tagged: yourusername

lewishamilton My beautiful Barbie. The love of my life. My partner for good times and bad times. Mother of my child. The only woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. Y/N Y/L/N. 💖💫

view all 31,274 comments

yourusername can't describe in words how much i love u lew!!! 💖💫

lewishamilton Love you too darling, so much!

user1 I can't 😭

user2 i wanna have what they have

user3 THE BEST COUPLE EVER

user4 if they ever break up love isn't real

user5 I'll tell my children they are the original Barbie & Ken

user6 my parents 🥰

user7 y'all don't understand how much i love them

user8 The best parents ever!!!!

roscoelovescoco Mums looking's gorgeous 🥹☀️

lewishamilton She in fact is.

yourusername my boys making me cry 🥹💓

roscoelovescoco Oh's no's mums don't cry's 🙁

yourusername don't worry baby it's happy tears 💞

user9 now I'm crying too... this is so sweet

user10 The reason they're my favs😍

user11 why is this so precious 😭😭

user12 so prettyyyy

kellypiquet Our Barbie looking like a goddess!💅🏻💝

liked by the author

yourusername thx kelly!!!💕

user13 she's fr glowing 😻

user14 Thought she can't get more beautiful than she was before but pregnancy proved me wrong

user15 MARRY HER

user16 we love bf lewis dedicating whole post to y/n 🤭🤭

voguemagazine 🤩📸

user17 ariana what are u doing here?!??!!

user18 Even Vogue is an Y/N fan and we love it

user19 y'all don't understand how bad i need her to be on the cover of vogue or some other magazine 😩

user20 OMG user19 SHE WOULD SLAY IT TOO HARD

user21 You should marry her now!!! 💍💍

liked by roscoelovescoco

user22 heyyy did someone else see lewis like it and then un-like it?!😧

user21 When the notification of roscoelovescoco liking my comment came up on my phone I nearly dropped it and screamed... like what? Excuse me sir!!! 😃

user23 LOL I love how he goes savage liking comments w his dog's account and then regrets it immediately xd

user24 guuuyyyssss what if it means we'll get proposal soon???☺️

user21 I wish!!!!

twitter

THE END

Author's Note: Thank you for reading it to the end! I'll be very grateful for likes, comments, reblogs and every other sign of support. Also you can let me know if you think baby Hamilton will be a girl or boy 🤭. Have a great weekend! (Btw if someone wants to talk about their predictions for Saudi Arabian Grand Prix, they're welcomed bcs I don't have anyone to talk to about it XD)

Taglist: @namgification @hc-dutch @bloodyymaryyy @nat-lh-44 @cosmoscoffeee @daniellef89x @xoscar03 @67-angelofthelordme-67 @nathalielovesonedirection @raizelchrysanderoctavius @leclerc16s @carpediem241108 @onecojg (let me know if you want to be added or removed)

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genericpuff · 5 months

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All That Glitters is Not Feminism - An Analysis of LO's Brand of "Feminism" and What Remains of its Fanbase (The Twist)

Alright y'all, I've been waiting a hot minute to talk about this because I wanted to see how it fully panned out before saying anything about it. And it's not even specifically about LO, but I do think it's very adjacent to it in a way that I'm sure you'll be shocked to hear. Much of it speaks to how we prop up white writers even at the expense of POC.

This is 'the twist' attached to my first post that I made just a couple hours ago that concerns an entirely other topic but I feel ties into this subject very well.

If you haven't heard, there's this author who recently fucked around in the Del Rey publishing scene.

Her name is Cait Corrain.

In the original tweet calling this person out, names were not dropped, but it was made very clear that what Cait did was unacceptable behavior.

You can read the entire thread that started it all from Xiran here:

There's also a GREAT recap thread from one of the affected authors, Bethany Baptiste:

I want to make it clear that Cait Corrain isn't just a debut author.

Cait Corrain is - or now, was (foreshadowing is a literary device that-) - a debut author who had an agent, a publishing deal with Del Rey (an imprint of Random House which is a MAJOR publisher) and even an upcoming Illumicrate deal - meaning, her book was going to be packaged in a monthly loot crate subscription shipped directly to people's doors, quite possibly one of the best marketing deals a debut author could ever get, usually unheard of in this industry. All the pre-reviews were strong and positive.

Cait's book was literally set up for success. All she had to do was sit back, relax, and watch the fruits of her labors roll in. She had written the book. It was ready for release. The hard part was technically over.

But I guess the racism brainrot got to her because as it turns out, since April - for EIGHT MONTHS - she's been making alternate accounts on GoodReads to review bomb the indie and debut works of her friends and peers, most of whom were POC and did not have the same opportunities set up for them as she did. There are loads of receipts to back this up that you can find in those above threads ^^^

To say that this is appalling is an understatement. This was an intentional and deliberate act of racism by a white queer writer who claimed to be "jealous" - of what, I can't imagine - so much so that she deliberately sabotaged her peers, people who had supported her and her book.

And then when she got caught? She doubled down on it and claimed it was a "friend", also an alternate account she made up.

The exchange between her and this made-up person is actually the funniest shit out of this entire thing, it's so poorly written and as soon as people noticed the time stamps were out of order, that was when it truly cemented her newfound clown status.

"oooooh he's standing right behind me, isn't he?" energy right here LMAO

yes keep expositing cait, that's really selling the "this is a genuine conversation that really happened with a real person" bit 🤡

Anyways, it became abundantly clear that Cait was just going to continue to dig her heels in over something she caused.

This has been a hot topic in the UnpopularLO Discord, not just because of how crazy of a situation it is that we had to talk about it - and we have people within the community who work in the literature and media sector - but because we noticed one very telling thing in the list of series that she had review bombed in her very own personal act of wrath.

You see, Cait made one fundamental mistake that led to her undoing - she didn't just review bomb the works of her peers, she positively reviewed her own book and others.

What's her book about though?

It's an Ariadne x Dionysus retelling set in space.

It's literally another "modern retelling" of Greek myth.

And wouldn't you know it, guess who else created a modern retelling of Greek myth that she included in her positive review raiding while she was sabotaging the work of her actual peers?

Now, I think it goes without saying that what I'm about to say should be taken with MOUNTAINS of salt, I'm sure a lot of you are reading the headline and going, "Ugh, really? You're gonna make this about LO? Could you give it a rest already???"

I need you to understand, with the current state of Rachel's fanbase and 'modern' Greek myth literature as a whole, at this point Lore Olympus - and the works that are literally inspired by it such as A Touch of Darkness - has basically become the shopping cart litmus test of basic decency. It's like when someone says they like Harry Potter - you can't take it automatically at good faith anymore, because there isn't a whole lot separating someone who simply liked Harry Potter as a kid and still rewatches the movies from time to time from someone who fully supports the politics and agenda of J.K. Rowling. No, not everyone who still watches the movies or reads the books fondly is a TERF by default, but it's justifiably a reason for suspicion when the consequences are often too dire to risk.

There's this thing that's been happening in the LO fanbase that I frankly saw coming, but has really recently started to hit its peak. It's what I call the "Kanye Effect", where the comic has become so absurd and backwards in its misogyny and white feminism that the only people who seem to be left supporting LO are the people who are legitimate white feminists and misogynists - because all the normal level-headed people fell off the comic ages ago (or transitioned into the critical side of the community).

I mentioned it in my last post, but it bears repeating - Rachel's fanbase has literally been shipping Hera, a victim of abuse, with her abuser, Kronos. I'm really hoping a lot of them realize how fucked up that is now that Hera herself has called it what it is - abuse - within the comic, but I also can't count on the LO fanbase picking up on that or even noticing it with how quickly people swipe through it each week, it's very apparent at this point that most of LO's readers don't know how to chew their food and don't pay attention when Persephone and Hades aren't onscreen.

But I'm digressing. Or am I? We're talking about Crown of Starlight after all. The debut Dionysus x Ariadne sci-fi/fantasy romance that was quite literally advertised using Lore Olympus as its baseline-

This. This is what the ongoing cultural erasure and white feminist uwu-fication of Greek myth is doing to the literary zeitgeist surrounding Greek myth as a whole. This is why we criticize Lore Olympus and works like it that are created by disingenuous people who only seek to use the assets of Greek myth material as a way to shoot themselves up into fame and stardom. This is why we demand better standards in the literature and webcomic industry, so that people like Rachel and Cait can't use their privileges to quite literally erase the source material that they used to make themselves famous in the first place.

If anything, Cait's actions didn't just affect the people she negatively review bombed, or the people she was affiliated with, but also the people she positively reviewed. While I don't support what Rachel creates, she wasn't the only one who Cait went out of her way to review positively from her alt accounts, there were many others as evident in the Google Doc - but all this really does is tarnish the legitimacy of these books and their ratings by artificially jacking up their numbers that are advertised to others.

Making Greek myth fanfiction or fun creative retellings was never the problem, but it's now being sabotaged alongside so many other genres and mediums by toxic white individuals who can't even keep themselves from committing hate crimes, let alone create something purely for entertainment that's transparent in its illegitimacy, lest it destroy the illusion that these people are qualified to speak over those whose voices are being stifled, often by these very same people. Many of these writers get caught and are still allowed to continue what they're doing - that was certainly what we feared with Cait.

Until today.

It was revealed today that Cait's book will no longer be featured in the Illumicrate May 2024 box.

Del Rey has dropped Crown of Starlight from their publishing schedule.

Daphne Press will be hopefully following suit.

And, most telling of all, Cait's own agent has severed ties with her.

For anyone not familiar with the inner workings of the publishing industry, Cait has essentially been blacklisted. Without an agent or a publishing house, she'll have to entirely rely on her own resources through self-publishing. Unless she manages to sneak her way back in under an alias (which I wouldn't put it past her to try) she no longer has access to the mainstream publishing industry that was already guaranteed for her before she let her 'jealousy' get the better of her.

Her career was already made for her. She had a red carpet laid out for her debut. Her book was getting good pre-reviews and she had quite literally nothing keeping her from her success. The best thing she could have done was nothing. Somewhere in her head, she made up a threat that didn't exist, and sealed her fate in acting on it, a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I think in these situations such as with Cait Corrain, Rachel Smythe, and - also recently and relevant - James Somerton, we need to become increasingly aware of how white voices are still overpowering POC voices, not just in their actions, but in the opportunities they're given over others which they then use to further stifle the voices of those they feel "threatened" by or feel entitled to speak over. While neither James nor Rachel have used sock puppet accounts to "take out the competition" (at least as far as we know lmao) James did quite literally steal the words and voices of queer writers who were deserving of their time in the spotlight, and Rachel's work is being quoted as "rewriting Greek myth" as if its blatant gentrification and appropriation should be marketed as some sort of positive.

It's all too common for these deeply-rooted prejudices to rear their ugly heads and for the people who carry them to act out in this way while justifying it as "jealousy" or "a mistake". This isn't jealousy. This isn't a mistake. This isn't someone "starting drama". This is genuine, targeted hate, with the intention of snuffing out the voices of others who should be empowered, not silenced.

All that time and effort, and for what? Racism and petty jealousy? It just goes to show, it doesn't matter how many opportunities you're given, how high up on the ladder you already are - it won't fix the deeply-rooted insecurity and racial pettiness that spurs people on to do such horrible things.

I've spent enough of my time and words today talking about Cait, and James, and Rachel. So to end this off, I want to join in with all the others who have highlighted the books that were review-bombed by Cait, and help in uplifting them so they can have successful debuts. I'll be pre-ordering a few of them, so I'll be happy to make dedicated posts for them in the future after they release. Please consider purchasing them for yourself if you want some new reading material <3

The Poisons We Drink by Bethany Baptiste:

So Let Them Burn by Kamilah Cole:

To Gaze Upon Wicked Gods by Molly X Chang:

Mistress of Lies by K.M. Enright

Voyage of the Damned by Frances White:

(I'm sure there are plenty others so if I missed any here, please let me know so I can add them here and check out their books!)

If there's any silver lining to this, I hope that it makes people aware of the media they consume and who it's being created by. I hope it makes people more willing to seek out the books that aren't getting the same opportunities as Cait Corrain and Rachel Smythe. I hope it's a wake-up call to the industry that matters like this need to be taken seriously and that POC writers are still being silenced under their own noses. And most of all, I hope it's a reminder that we shouldn't even need at this point that this behavior is not okay, no matter what level a person climbs to - that just because someone is part of one minority doesn't mean they're not capable of sabotaging another. It sucks that that has to be said, it sucks that despite these groups being so intersectional there are still people within them who submit to their deeply-rooted insecurities and find ways to feel threatened that they use to justify hateful behavior.

Having a platform is a privilege. It should never be weaponized against your own peers or those who you simply feel "threatened" by for no reason beyond your own imposter syndrome or doubts or internal struggles. Because as much as you may feel like you've earned where you are, that never gives you the right to weaponize your opportunities against others who were never given those same opportunities in the first place. "Feminism" is not using your power to crush "other women". "Progressiveness" is not exclusive to the progress that only benefits you.

I wish only the best to those who were affected by the actions of Cait Corrain. You deserve to be heard and seen and appreciated for the work you do and the abuse you've had to tolerate. I look forward to your debuts in 2024 <3

#cait corrain #support POC writers #crown of starlight #the poisons we drink #so let them burn #the voyage of the damned #mistress of lies #say isn't it funny how all the debut books cait tried to sabotage accurately describe her and her actions LOL #that's what we call irony #debut authors 2024 #booktok #webtoon critical #lore olympus critical #anti lore olympus

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kittykattropicanna · 4 months

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imagine mechanic!simon fixin’ your car with parts that worth thousands but he doesn’t want your money, he wants something else HEHEHEHEHEHE

HEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHE right??????? Genius honestly.

mechanic!Simon would do anything for you :( but only when you obey him, be an obedient and listen..... he was doing you a favour by fucking you on top of your broken down shit box while the lads were on their lunch break, he saw how worked up and stressed you were, and you had the audacity to disobey him??? You want to get your car fixed free of charge? well, now you get nothing and he gets to take you however he wants, your job is to stand there and shut up like the good girl his training you to be ;)

TW: low-key public sex, thigh-fucking, orgasms denial, Si degrades you for being a needy, disobedient girl :( kinda humiliation, mean!Simon, age gap insinuated, Si shoves a dirty rage covered in grease in your mouth bc you won't stfu :(

Mechanic!Simon masterlist

Regular masterlist

You really aren’t well off, the savings you did have are definitely not accessible at the moment.

Your shitty ex had logged into your bank account the second he threw you out :( making sure you had nothing

He would always make you transfer him money for his crypto trading, he did it behind your back regularly meaning he new all of your information including your security passwords >:(

He had drained everything except £2.50 because “that’s all your worth” :((((((((

he was such a dick AHURGG >:(

Like Si promised, he checked out your car the next morning, taking you into the shop even though it was his day off.

Of course Johnny jumped at the opportunity to introduce himself, taking your hand and kissing it softly, wicked smile flashing across his face when he didn’t see a boyfriend accompanying you to the shop. :(((

An easy target in his eyes, you being with Si didn’t even cross his mind, a pretty, delicate thing like you wouldn’t be running around with a beast like Simon….it just didn’t make sense :(

Si stepping in almost immediately when he saw the way Gaz winked at you and licked his teeth, eyeing you up and down like a piece of meat :(

You were HIS….HE found you, nobody else, and that’s how its gonna stay >:(

Maybe a bit of insecurity flared up as well….they were younger then him, more your age….

Johnny was a ball of energy, looked like he could be plastered on the front of some health and fitness magazine and Gaz had a certain charm to him, the type that could make even the most independent women fall to their knees.

They couldn’t be more different to Si’s rough and grumpy demeanour :((((

But the second you clung to his side, quickly turning your face away from them, flushed red and overwhelmed, it all went away :3

His, he didn’t even have to tell you, you clung to him instinctively, ran to him for protection, looked for him when you needed safety ;)))

He wanted nothing more then to take you right there, show them both how he could make you cum in ways they couldn’t, even if they had the best vibrater in the world on their side, they couldn’t give you the satisfaction he could :3

Watch the jealousy and envy in their faces as he praised you for being such a good girl, his good girl :)))

He didn’t have to look at your car to know that it was absolutely rooted, a first week apprentice could see that it would cost thousands of pounds to fix, even then, you wouldn’t be getting the best parts on the market meaning it was only a matter of time before it broke down again and became undriveable :(

Quickly slamming the hood he turns to you with a sympathetic look :(

“Listen lovie, its gonna be at least £2000, and that’s jus’ for ya’ engine alone, I don’ even wanna get inta the rest of it cuz fixin’ it is gonna cost more then the car itself”

With teary eyes you tell him you can’t afford to fix it, let alone buy a new car, its the only real possession you have to your name other then your phone and clothes :((((

You needed a car, you needed a way to get to work and its not like you can afford to take the bus!!!

But don’t worry sweet girl, Si’s gonna make it all better :((

Slowly he lifts you onto the hood and slides his hands up your thighs with a rough groan, that tiny little skirt that he picked out for you this morning was a really good idea ;)

Moving your panties to the side, he drags his thick finger through your folds, a low chuckle leaving his lips as he collects your juices :3

Your cheeks go red at how wet you are :((((( you’re so easy to get going, such a dirty, dirty girl >:(

“Don’ play dumb sweethear’, saw ya’ watchin’ me like a piece of meat, rubbin’ those thighs together like a whore, I know when ma’ girl needs some lovin’”

Pushing his thick fingers into your heat, a small whimper leaving your mouth from the stretch :(

“Quite love, don’t want em’ to hear us do ya’?” A chuckle falling from his lips as he opens you up more, spreading you open and preparing you for another one of his big rough fingers :(((((

Pumping in and out of your wet cunt at an agonisingly slow pace, holding your hips down so you can’t buck or move closer to him :(( try to take more then what his giving you :(

His the one in control, so don’t even THINK about it >:(

You let out a loud squeak when he forcefully pushes a second finger into your tight pussy :((( wet squelching sounds fill the room :(((

The same men staring at you like a piece of meat only moments ago, eating their lunch in the break room at the other end of the shop, completely unaware that Si was having his way with you :(((

Stimulating your clit with his left hand, he looks up at you with a wicked smile

“Don’t ya’ make a noise love, old Johnny boy won’t have a problem watchin’ and im sure ya’ don’t want tha’” >:(

His such a tease :(((((

Begging him for his dick, moans and whimpers getting louder as you squirm with teary eyes :(((

But that’s your biggest mistake…..

You went against his orders, he told you not to make any noises, to keep it down, but because you’re a little brat, disrespectful after all his given you, food, a roof over your head, a warm bed, a man to protect you….you’re getting nothing >:(

“My cock Darlin’? Oh no, no, no, no. Ya’ see lovie, good girls get what they want, obedient girls get treated right, not selfish little sluts that can't do what they’re fuckin’ told”

Removing his fingers from you, he undoes his belt and takes out his stiff cock :(((((

Its so leaky, pre cum dripping down his shaft, Si pumps himself a couple times, a low groan falling from his lips as he forcefully turns you around slamming your body against the car

“Imma tell ya’ what ya’ gettin, I’m gonna fuck your thighs for my pleasure, not yours, and ya’ gonna shut up and take it, no squirmin’ or moanin’, ya’ just gonna stand here and take it”

Taking a dirty rag out of his back pocket that he uses to wipe his greasy hands, he slaps your cheek signalling to open your mouth, shoving the dirty fabric inbetween your lips with a sadistic chuckle

“There ya’ go petal, much better isn’t it? Finally listenin’”

His thrust between your thighs, the feeling of pre cum coating your pussy is satisfying, but it didn’t scratch the itch of what being filled by his girthy cock did :((((

Your moans fall silent against the dirty rag he shoved in your mouth, the only sound filling the shop being his low grunts and skin slapping against skin :((

His hard cock rubbing against your clit giving you little satisfaction, Si was so mean sometimes, but he was right, his always right :((((

He did so much for you and the very least you could do was follow his orders, you got to comfortable :((( trying to take charge and disobey him when he knows best, he always knows best >:(

You can tell his getting closer, his thrusts get sloppier and his quite grunts tern more strained :3

After a few more deep thrust between your wet and sloppy thighs the feeling of his hot ropes cover your pussy and drip down your inner thighs :(((

He didn’t even try and make you cum :( greedy girls don’t get pleasure, they’re used as fuck toys, walking fleashlights that don’t deserve orgasms :((

And you know his just doing what’s best for you, teaching you the hard way, the only way you would properly learn :((

He makes you walk past the break room and out of the shop with his sperm running down your legs, wet thighs sticking together making you uncomfortable as you take each step, hot, flushed and unsatisfied :(

Once you get back into his car he makes a call to a friend that owns a car dealership. Si has done so much for his mate, the least he can do is hand over a car, and that’s exactly what he does :3

Whatever his angel wants, his angel gets, unless she misbehaves :((((

Your orgasm is just going to have to wait till another time…..and don’t you even think about touching yourself……remember, obedient girls get to cum, not dirty, dirty sluts that don’t follow the rules <3

The thing about mechanic!Simon is that his not taking your shit, he has no time for your attitude and will put you in your place immediately :( his training you to be his pretty little house wife after all :3

Request are open for Mechanic!Simon, I would love to hear your thoughts so feel free send them through and add to the AU.

!Disclaimer! - Above is NSFW content - MDNI - If you follow my blog without your age in your bio, you will be blocked - If you are under the age of 18, you are not welcome here, otherwise, enjoy :)

Cat divider sourced by @positively-mine from Pinterest - Pink line divider by @eloquentreverie - MDNI divider by @cafekitsune

Basic blog housekeeping - fic requests guidelines, boundaries and my rules for minors

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icyg4l · 5 days

Text

PAC: How Can You Attract More Clientele?

hello beautiful people! i wanted to do something different today! this is for my business owners out there, this one is for you. if you need some extra reassurance/advice on how to gain more traction, this is for you. without further ado, please pick the image that resonates with you the most.

Top Left-to-Bottom Right: (1-4)

Pile One: I heard “something’s brewing” as I was shuffling for this pile. Pile One, do you know how lucky people are to have your talents in this world? Why don’t you take your talents where they belong? I feel like you aren’t really pushing yourself the way that you’re supposed to. You’re all talk but when it comes down to actually putting in the work, you get scary. There’s no point in planning for the future if you don’t live in it. So do what you have to do in order to be known! Another thing about you is that there’s some shame around your work. It’s like you’re embarrassed to show off your stuff so you’ll just hand it off to people that you know and when you get compliments, you won’t necessarily take them as one should. You need to celebrate your work forreal. Your work needs to be seen. You need to be around other creative people so that you can have personal muses in your life. You need to know that your talents will be recognized as long as you let them. All in all, in order to attract clientele, you need to be willing to put yourself out there.

Cards Used: Princess of Swords, The Hermit, Prince of Cups, Knight of Swords, 2 of Wands, 7 of Swords.

extras: shuffle. coffee brewer. sodastream. alliteration. mime. pasties. original invention.

Pile Two: Aggressive marketing is a tactic that you need to take on, Pile Two. This is a pile similar to Pile One in the sense that you are being too coy. I am seeing a fast-paced work environment. You deliver your products fast and you come up with ideas pretty fast. The thing is though, you do not really sell yourself. When I say this, I mean that you are too calm and humble with the way that you market yourself. People tend to overlook you because you’re not really showing off your product/brand. Invest in your brand and you will see better results. If you have a TikTok or Instagram, I’m not going to lie, talking fast or talking in a bubbly manner will help your clients flock to you. I am feeling a little chaotic right now as I type this. I feel like you need to unleash your chaotic side into this marketing. People would be more willing to buy the product if you show off your authentic energy.

Cards Used: Four of Swords, Temperance (RX), The Devil (RX), The Hermit, 9 of Wands, Ace of Swords, Prince of Cups, Eight of Wands

extras: panda express. takeoff. funeral. egg sandwich. sadistic. clueless. “you are the visuals baby.”

Pile Three: There is nothing wrong with getting shit done, Pile Three. I feel like this pile thinks that they do everything right, or do you? I think you need to stop caring about the validation of other people. Do you actually like what it is that you’re doing/selling? Is it fulfilling to present this product to other people? If so, then you need to just be patient. You are very impatient to the process of gaining sales. You need to let more time pass. Your business hasn’t taken off because you do not let shit marinate. If you let time pass by, you would actually gain more clientele. As you await for this moment though, take everything as a learning experience. If you do not feel fulfilled/personally rewarded, then it is time for a rebrand. You need to figure out how this product resonates with you. What is your personal connection with it? How can you connect to other people through this product? What lasting impact do you want to leave on people? I also see that you do need to get involved with people offline as well. Posting flyers up around your neighborhood would really benefit you, my love.

Cards Used: The Emperor, Strength, 4 of Swords, The Devil, The Hanged Man, Judgment, Prince of Wands, Queen of Discs

extras: orlando. drill rap. ohio. “earthy scents.” twisted tea. green giant.

Pile Four: I actually feel like this pile is super close to meeting their goal number of clients. You have been putting in the right amount of work and therefore, you have been getting rewarded. But you need to learn how to network. I feel like this pile just needs to be at the right place at the right time. If you find yourself getting invited to an event that needs your skills, you should check it out. It’ll be the key to your big break. I also think that you should consider trading with other creatives to gain more clientele. Consider promoting other creatives’ work so that more people can come to you. I think it really all comes down to the timing of it all. But your time is pretty soon. You’re already eating good but soon you’ll be eating real good. There’s not really much you have to do but just show yourself off.

Cards Used: Wheel of Fortune. The Magician. Queen of Discs. King of Wands. 7 of Discs. King of Discs. The Emperor.

extras: dill pickle. onion rings. pastel colors. breakfast foods. sizing issues.

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sgiandubh · 6 months

Note

Hi there. I enjoyed your post about Sam’s brand and it got me thinking. I feel like he’s stuck between trying to do what other people tell him he should to “make it” and trying to do it himself. Other people: you’re hot, show it off, do action movies, date blonde floozies. Himself: I want to be a good person and a decent actor, but what if I’m not? Guess I should work a lot, build a non-acting brand just in case I get fired, but try not to pay too many people to market it, I can do that myself; the liquor has the added benefit of getting his name out there and hopefully giving him another income stream if acting goes to shit. Where this all becomes problematic is that he’s not the person others tell him to be, so he comes off as fake, inconsistent, disingenuous, contradictory. I worry though that he can’t break away from these “advisors” because of whatever hole he and caitriona have themselves in with Starz and their bosses. We may not all agree on what happened in 2016 or why, but it’s obvious something did. The difference between them both since then is stark. The light has dimmed. They’ve aged exponentially. They’re guarded. They’re not the effervescent dynamos they started out as. She looks pissed all the time, like she’ll trot Tony out if necessary, but she won’t look like she enjoys it. She’ll go to awards ceremonies, but she won’t look as gorgeous as she easily could. She won’t be their ingenue. I don’t know, I think they’re stuck and are limited in what they can actually do for themselves, as much as they might like to. I can only hope there is an end in sight for them and they can persevere until then!

PS, I watched She Said last night. Highly recommend for anyone who doesn’t think a network executive could or would force their tent pole stars to deny a relationship.

Dear She Said Anon,

I liked your submission so much, I have read it three times in a row (and damn the late hour!). I have very few things to add to your excellent assessment of what I think is a very complicated situation. The proverbial Scottish parsimony could explain the choice of a minimally budgeted, all hands on deck sales and advertising approach. But we are quickly passing this stage and he should seriously think of hiring true professionals, if he really wants to make a financial lifebelt out of SS.

Yes. There's a price to be paid for all the games they are being served to play (and yes, something terrible happened in January 2016, of which we will probably never have the full details). Both of them are now striving to show us they can (scantily, painfully) exist without the magical Other. She, with that colorless, wrist-grabbing, fist-clenching literally dumb person (strictly meaning that we never hear him). He, with that (forgive me, Father, for I am about to sin) questionable, loud and tacky Oriental consigliere (it is high time I should write that paper on the Persia I know and love, lest you or other Anon think I am racist, or something). You can't figure out more opposite add-ons to Those Two, both serving, I believe, the same purpose: to deflect, at all costs, any attention given to the real state of play.

I haven't watched She Said yet and I welcome and thank you for the suggestion. On a lighter note, I trade for it Call My Agent (I have already mentioned this very, very witty French series, dealing with the life in a Parisian talent agency) - it shouldn't be a problem to find it on Netflix.

Good night, Anon. This one below is me thanking you for your trouble and time writing this wonderful post. Just look at Mitsuko Uchida's genuine Joy while playing Beethoven - same energy as Two People We Know, back in 2014, right?

youtube

#Anon

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snackugaki · 7 months

Text

... my ass actually got like 6+ images deep before realizing i hadn't posted shit-- oops

my tmnt iteration (where everyone made it past their 20s, splinter’s alive just old, venus is here, and they deserve some goddamn respite and shenanigans)

tmnt iteration omake 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11

lny visit 1 | 2

IDW spoilers below, teeechnically Mirage & Next Mutation spoilers too ig?

blah blah blabbering because that's one of the many things you can do on tumblr.com

bloopity bloopin, turtles all being traded on the black market as pets, medicine, or decor to be... "prepared". 'cept Jennika, keeping her IDW origin because it's badass and I like it. eco vigilantes freed them one fateful night, same night someone(s) stole some mutagen for a rival company to TGRI, boom collided in their getaway routes, away floated Venus just like in NM and some others who lalala may or may not be some mutanimals

playing mostly with coloring, Rise introducing markings is such a nice and refreshing change from the all sam green turtle, different bandana color turtles I grew up with. fanon taking that concept and applying it in conjunction with actual turtle colorings also scratches my visdev brain node just so

hm... still fiddling with their plastrons... Venus' and Jennika's are fine though

Leo

funky li'l ringed map turtle

can't see it but, he got them little ridgey-spikies on his shell

christ, I'm finding a way to attach Iris symbolism to him, either through markings or something else

Iris in hanakotoba is... basically all Leo; nobility, bravery, honor, courage, heavy samurai association

5'2"

Raph

McCord's or Amboina box turtle idk idk idk can't choose

stuck on coloring him with a scale mail feeling to match the box turtle photos I found

....I needa draw him beefier, he can stand to be beefier

5'6"

Donnie

literally just googled which turtles exhibit the highest INT, wood turle consistently listed plus some have funky geometrically patterned/shaped shells

tossing on how do the plastron coloring, really liking the dark spots on it

probably keep the lightened belly/inner limb coloring

...probably... lol idk

5'8"

Mikey

my perfect chonky boy, no notes except he (and his brothers) need plastron do-overs

and now i am stuck with the heart-on-his-sleeve marking

canon 2 my iteration it is done

he gets to be the slider this go round, if just 'cuz he's technically the first born (in terms of creating TMNT and its story and world)

let him have the fluttering, finger drumming on everything and everyone because he's bursting with "i love you" energy anyway

5'4"

Venus

"my pretty daughter" iykyk

sea turtle as per last couple iteration posts

cultivator instead of "shinobi"

"i aM ShiNObi"... guh, just, I dunno, the term "cultivator" wasn't really known back in '98 like that, but she had the medicine box, she worked to learn how to throw a fireball at Vam Mi, she was pleased at her progression when she defeated the counterspell from the staff of Bu Ki. that's cultivator shit right there.

she's still a pugilist more than a iron fan user

looks up to April like a big sister, speaks canto and hakka with her

cuz she's still a linguist scholar like in Next Mutation so duh she speak all the languages (to an extant, she has a lot of studying left to go after all)

the greenified hawksbill coloring is growing on me...

still needa futz more with the plum flower motif on her

also figure out her huadian situation or just scrap it idkidkidk

her bandana + 50% green coloring is also growing on me....

5'10"

Jennika

technically also ringed map turtle since it was Leo who gave her the blood transfusion

I like the idea of bringing her Blaschko's lines to the forefront post-mutation but just... it's a lot of stripes. and goddamnit I ain't even gonna go deep into much of anything with the comics I just... can't not world build rip me

6'0"

April

still so tickled at April being closer to the turtles' ages in these new reboots and fascinated how it's played out

...but mine is a clean 44 yo, so. (turtles in late 30s)

Laird originally conceived April as an asian woman in his notes, Eastman drew her as a biracial woman he was dating at the time (April Fisher) and... idk what to tell y'all, people are running around being mixed in this world all the time, Brooklyn got hella Jamaican/Chinese so there you go

can speak canto and hakka

April being a "weirdo" as I've seen mentioned in Rise can stay, I'm picking that, that's a great trait to her character, big fan of Poly Styrene, loved Rachel True in The Craft

where "weirdo" is just she's into alt subculture and being in New York... she got her hands everywhere in those scenes

She and Chu Hsi get to have the most shoujo fuckin' romance because it's cute

and she's still a living drawing which I'm changing around a bit being why she felt like a "weirdo" and leaned towards subcultures and the turtles, she did eventually begin to destabilize but Venus stabilized her by trapping her in a scroll so she could work on a solution. ...where she has a long, happy relationship with Chu Hsi in the painted world scroll because lol time dilation

saw somewhere on the hellsite that the tooth gap is passed around every iteration... so April gets to have it

5'7"

Irma

i'm not ashamed to say I just reupholstered Nadia from Russian Doll

87 Irma went through a lot so she can have some dry wit and humor and be fly as fuck, big hair, big glasses, and a big attitude

still besties with April

likes moths, they're just neat little guys with rabbit ears iykyk

there is a very specifc size of her hair I am battling to keep consistent the problem it never feels big enough

says "fuhgeddaboutit" and has yelled that she is, in fact, "walkin' here,"

... she might also have a little bit of Myrtle from AHS: Coven sprinkled in now that I'm thinking about it to sum her up

she knows somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody for any random thing you could want to try to find

all the delis and bodegas know her

discusses plot lines from soap operas with Splinter on weekends, they get heated

5'5"

... god all this and I was just gonna have them play spades and play a round of pickup street ball in silly little comics

#if you know my timezone #and you see me posting this #stop snitching #what are YOU doing at the devil's sacrament #leave me to my demon hours #i should probably try melatonin though...#cuz this shit ain't working #how am I fuckin' alive???#spite #things tasting good #turtles #general nerd shit #and don't worry king #they still love your boys in the AU-verse #visdev is my enrichment activity #my dumb ass just happily knocking these out and not posting #cuz i was distracted by the euphoria of creation #hhh i needa push my shapes more #they can be crunchier

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callsign-bunnie · 3 months

Note

Alright alright alright....

Alejandro finds out Rodolfo has been a hybrid this whole time but for some reason, was able to hide it.

Shoutout my wife for sending me this ask when I've been having a very shit January to cheer me up, even though she doesn't like ABO. Reminder that hybrids is ABO, so Rudy is an omega even if Alejandro is still human and not an alpha. Also yes I did write smut

Rodolfo had been born… weird. To him, it never had been odd. His entire family was like him, and he’d gotten to know plenty of others exactly like him, too. But, when he was born, he was born with rabbit ears and a tail, and a hell of a lot of rabbit instinct.

His family had told him, when he first started to go to school, that he would have to hide his features. Presenting as an omega had been even harder, because humans didn’t have that secondary sex. To them, he was just supposed to be a boy, nothing else. He had to hide his instinct, wear scent blockers, and pin his ears down so he could arrange his hair properly.

His tail could sort of just get squished down in his pants or shorts.

Thankfully, the other hybrids had an easier time finding each other. He’d met quite a bit over his school years that he hadn’t felt completely alone, but… then he met Alejandro when he was about 14.

Alejandro was human, he was normal. Unlike other humans, when that rabbit instinct slipped through, Alejandro had never seemed repulsed over it. He’d teased Rodolfo for having to be vegan a few times, but had decked someone else and cried “It’s a health issue” for doing the same.

They’d met in gym class. Rodolfo was fairly active, having a lot of energy, and that had apparently caught Alejandro’s interest. Alejandro had ran with a bit more popular of a crowd, too, while Rodolfo had tried to just stick with the other hybrids, and was only friends with another hybrid omega named Chuy, though he was a mountain lion and not a rabbit. A friendship which his family did not like, since in their community, prey and predators were not usually friends.

They’d stopped complaining about it when they met Alejandro, for the record. A predator animal, that was… taboo. A human? Worse.

But, Rodolfo remembered that he and Chuy had been sitting together after class, having special paperwork that meant they got their own time to dress in a special locker room due to their status, talking about a hybrid event coming up, when they’d both been startled by Alejandro suddenly standing right in front of them.

He’d grinned at Rodolfo, told him that he was really impressive while running that day. Chuy had ended up revealing that his family and Alejandro’s families were intimately connected. Around that time Chuy became obsessed with another shifter and so Rodolfo pursued Alejandro for a friendship, curious about humans.

Hiding everything from Alejandro was harder than he could ever fully convey. Trying to explain why they couldn’t go to each other’s houses, why he never was willing to undress around him, what health issues could keep him from eating meat, and why he randomly disappeared for two weeks every four months was difficult.

When omega instinct kicked in and he fell head over heels when both were 17? Even harder.

And explaining to his parents why he was risking discovery, his safety, and his life to follow some human into the military? That was the hardest.

See, he wouldn’t have to lie to the military, if he was willing to be separated from Alejandro. Chuy’s unit, they were all hybrids. He’d followed that same hybrid into the military, an alpha female named Valeria Garza, and as he’d been willing to be open about it, they’d stuck them both in the hybrids unit.

Rodolfo, however, didn’t want to be separate from Alejandro. So he’d lied. He’d continued to pin his ears down, made excuse after excuse to hide his ears, the extra things on his body, started to take heavy black market heat blockers that made him so absurdly sick, all so he could stay near Alejandro.

For the first years, he’d just been glad to have Chuy and Valeria, who understood. But when Valeria betrayed them, angry against the humans for their continued treatment of the various non humans hiding amongst them, and Chuy running away to join a PMC, he’d been left feeling very alone and only more desperate to stay near Alejandro, following him all the way up the ranks until he sat where he was, now.

Becoming SIC was equally a blessing and a curse. He had private quarters, he was paid well, it was easier to hide. He transitioned from black market heat blockers to good ones from reputable sources, and which helped him not be so sick all of the time. He could gear up in his own quarters, he could unpin his ears for a bit, indulge in some omega instinct like nesting, but… he was still lonely.

Alejandro was busy, at first, as was expected becoming Colonel so young and at, objectively, one of the worst times. Rodolfo’s job was fairly easy, just in charge of scouting missions and he took over paperwork, as Alejandro struggled with those things. They were still close friends, but it was obvious the stakes were different. Rodolfo was Alejandro’s best friend, but Rodolfo was still so absurdly in love with him.

He’d almost told him a few times. When Valeria found out that Alejandro didn’t know, she had used that to her advantage, threatening Rodolfo with it. “He’s human, Rodolfo… You can’t think he’ll want you in any way when he finds out. The moment he finds out what you are, he’ll toss you aside like garbage.”

“Like you did with Chuy?”

“Watch it.”

Rodolfo didn’t give into any of her demands, but the fear was there. She was vindictive, she was cruel, and he knew that one day she was going to tell Alejandro. Reasonably, he knew he needed to tell him before she did, but he was so unbelievably terrified of Alejandro throwing him away that he just couldn’t manage.

Regardless, he’d found out.

Rodolfo had been so stupid. He’d been careless. Usually, he locked his door before changing, which had led Alejandro to knowing that if the door was unlocked, he could just walk in.

They’d just been on a very long and exhausting mission. His body was sore, made worse by the fact that he was close to a heat, which was affecting his body regardless of the blockers. It would pass without happening, but he’d still be sore and achy, and he may have been distracted thinking about the Colonel, knowing his thoughts were only made worse by the nearing event.

So, he’d just stumbled into his room, shut the door, and peeled his gear off before taking a very long and hot shower, didn’t bother to dress save for some boxers (which he hated, for the record, human males had abysmal options for underwear, why did they torture themselves?), and just curled up on the small sofa he had, planning to eat an entire carton of strawberries and watch some of the hybrid media he’d literally had to smuggle into the base.

As such, he’d gotten into the mini fridge that he had in his quarters, got out the strawberries, and then curled up on the couch, wincing and whining at an ache in his legs. Being a good runner, and being fast, meant that he was often the one chasing those that ran, which had been what happened that day. To be fair, it was fun to watch these massive narcos get absolutely shocked when this much smaller person would tackle them and take them down with ease. The military had been a blessing in the way that no one usually questioned why a special forces officer could do things that humans could not.

He made an unhappy noise at the realization that some of the strawberries were too squishy for him to reasonably eat, not willing to torture himself, and so he got right back up and went to the sink, separating the bad ones and then rinsing the good ones. The itchiness of having to keep his waistband low under his tail only added to his irritation. None of this would be a big deal if he wasn’t already tired and unhappy, but he supposed that maybe he should cut some holes in a few pairs to just stick the tail through.

He smiled to himself as he heard the door knob jiggle, knowing that was Alejandro checking to see if he could come in. At some point, he’d knocked, but that was years ago. A few excuses he could make later ran through his head, though they were all drowned out by the sudden terror as he heard the door actually open and he realized he’d never locked it.

Immediately, his heart pounded as he quickly turned and watched Alejandro come into the room with horror.

“Hey, Rudy, I-” Alejandro stopped and stared right at Rodolfo, and his eyes moved to the top and then down the sides of Rodolfo’s head. See, Rodolfo had been fortunate that he was a floppy eared rabbit hybrid, so keeping them pinned down hadn’t been nearly as difficult as it could be.

Rodolfo was frozen, only really able to process the sound of his heart beating far too fast, before finally his flight instinct kicked in and he dashed to the bathroom, slamming the door and sinking to the ground. How would he explain this away? How would he even lie about it?

A knock on the bathroom door only scared him more and he had to really fight not to climb into the cabinet under his bathroom sink, taking a deep breath and realizing he had to face this head on. No he couldn’t, who was he kidding? No, he climbed right under the sink, and a moment later the bathroom door opened as well.

Unsurprisingly, Alejandro opened the cabinet door a moment later. Rodolfo should have known better, he’d frequently done that when freaked out in school, so of course Alejandro would know to look in the nearest cabinet. Well… not that there was really anywhere else for Rodolfo to be in the bathroom.

Alejandro had crouched down, and he frowned as he again looked at Rodolfo. Rodolfo couldn’t hold his gaze, looking away and curling up tightly. “I thought she was full of shit…” Alejandro murmured, which startled Rodolfo. “She told me that you were different, but I thought it was all a joke…”

Rodolfo knew who she was, immediately, his mind moving to Valeria. Of course she told Alejandro… She didn’t make empty threats. “I’m sorry…”

“Please come out here.” Alejandro murmured, holding a hand out. Rodolfo looked at it, instinct telling him that he shouldn’t. He first cringed further back into the cabinet, but Alejandro’s face softened and his eyes turned pleading. “Please?”

Rodolfo instantly gave in, unable to really say no to Alejandro, and so he accepted his hand and let Alejandro gently tug him out from under the sink, instinctively going to push his ears back so they would push under his hair and hide, but he was stopped by Alejandro, his wrist being caught before he could. “I want to see them.” Alejandro murmured and Rodolfo tensed but nodded, looking away and lowering his hand when it was released.

It was scarily silent for a bit before Rodolfo was startled, again, flinching back when Alejandro touched his ears. Alejandro’s movement paused before his hand moved to gently start petting them, which had Rodolfo melting involuntarily. Slowly, Rodolfo turned his head to look at Alejandro, surprised to see a sort of awe in his eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Alejandro asked, furrowing his brows.

“I was scared…” Rodolfo mumbled, looking down. “To you, I was just a human male. I thought you’d think it was weird, that I’m a freak…”

“Oh, Rudy… I could never think you’re a freak.” Alejandro murmured. “Valeria told me a few months after she left. I thought she was just… crazy. You know how she is, so I ignored it and forgot about it. But you acted so afraid of her… like she knew something that I didn’t.”

“Of course she told you…” Rodolfo’s shoulders dropped. “She threatened me with it.”

Alejandro shook his head and then he did an odd thing, moving and picking Rodolfo up, bridal style, before taking him back out to the main part of the room, setting him on the couch and then sitting beside him. Rodolfo found himself bright red, trying not to get too excited at the simple touch, and unable to completely fight instinct.

Alejandro, though, appeared to be in deep thought, putting his hands together and then resting his chin on them. Rodolfo’s anxiety only grew and he looked down at his hands, before jumping when Alejandro touched his arm. “I want to know more.”

Rodolfo hesitated and then nodded. “What do you want to know?”

“What… are you?”

“We call ourselves hybrids…” Rodolfo mumbled, looking down and fidgeting with his fingers. “My family are all hybrids… We have secondary sexes that determine reproductive ability, unlike humans. I’m an omega…”

Alejandro nodded. “Valeria called you that. You can… get pregnant, right?” He didn’t look weirded out, actually he looked curious. He looked… interested.

Rodolfo bit his lip and nodded. “Yeah… I also have a heat cycle but I am on very heavy blockers, so those don’t show up.”

Alejandro furrowed his brows, but nodded a bit. “I see… and you’re a rabbit?”

Rodolfo blushed dark red, nodding again. “I don’t have a specific breed… Some take pride in being a purebred, kind of like racism, but… I’m not. My family has a lot of different breeds.”

Alejandro nodded, again, and then went quiet for a bit. “It’s… a lot.” He admitted and Rodolfo couldn’t help flinching and ducking his head. “You won’t have to hide, anymore, though. Not around me, not around Los Vaqueros.”

Rodolfo blinked and frowned, looking up at Alejandro who was watching him earnestly. “I… But what if they-”

“If they have any other reaction but positive neutrality, I will have them discharged.” Alejandro shrugged. “You’re SIC, no matter what you are. More specifically, you’re my SIC. They’ll respect that.”

Rodolfo couldn’t help blushing dark red at the very mild possessiveness, nodding a bit and looking away again before Alejandro touched his chin and made him look at him, again. Alejandro smiled at him and Rodolfo softened. “Is your dietary needs… because of you being a rabbit?”

Rodolfo nodded. “It is. I can’t eat meat or it makes me very sick. I have to be careful about a lot, actually.”

Alejandro furrowed his brows and nodded. “I’ll research what rabbits can eat and make sure you have food options.” To be fair, Alejandro had already made sure there was a vegan option, but some of it, Rodolfo still couldn’t eat.

Alejandro’s eyes seemed to finally register the strawberries, because Rodolfo watched him get up and go grab the carton, bringing it back to Rodolfo and holding it out. Rodolfo couldn’t help blushing, again, and thanked him as he took them. “How do you hide your ears?”

Rodolfo flushed. “I pin them down… It’s easier, they’ve grown into the position now.”

Alejandro made a face. “That can’t be comfortable.”

“It’s not…” Rodolfo admitted, looking down at the carton of strawberries. “It used to hurt, really bad. Back in school, when I had to pin them for hours at a time.”

“Is that why you and Chuy had special times in the locker room? So you could hide?” Alejandro tilted his head, ahhing when Rodolfo nodded. “Well… you don’t have to pin them anymore.”

“What about when I leave the base?” Rodolfo frowned, furrowing his brows.

“You won’t. On missions, you can wear a helmet, which I’ll have made special to fit your ears. And on base, just keep them out. I’ll start taking Alvarez or Rodrigez to meetings, and when I need to leave Las Almas.” Alejandro shook his head. “You don’t have to hide, anymore.”

Rodolfo couldn’t help just melting and he nodded a little, smiling. “Thank you… For not thinking I’m a freak.”

Alejandro shook his head. “I would never think you’re a freak. I would never because…” He took a deep breath and then pushed his hands down his legs. “I’m in love with you. And I’ve been in love with you for a very long time.”

Rodolfo’s heart stopped and he found himself freezing again, only able to just stare at Alejandro in shock. “I… I…”

“I had a crush on you in school.” Alejandro admitted, his face turning red. “It’s why I came and tried so hard to talk to you. However, any time I tried to approach the subject, you would turn away. I mean, I tried to bring up homosexuality and you acted like you didn’t even know what that word was.”

“That was a weird conversation.” Rodolfo agreed, remembering Alejandro stammering over his words. He’d asked his sister, but she had said it was a silly human concept and moved on. “I didn’t actually learn what it meant until a couple years ago… I just… I thought…” Well, reasonably he’d figured out that Alejandro was trying to come out. “I didn’t think I’d fit into that for… quite a few reasons.”

“You thanked me for being comfortable enough to tell you!” Alejandro laughed, softly, and Rodolfo groaned and covered his face, now dark red. “A lot more things make a lot more sense now. I had to explain so many basic human things…”

Rodolfo whined, darker and darker red. “I didn’t know what any of it meant…”

“I can see why, now.” Alejandro nodded and he smiled at Rodolfo, softening. “I didn’t understand a lot of the instinct I seemed to have around you. Like some part of me inherently knew…”

“That might have been my pheromones.” Rodolfo winced. “Omegas have special pheromones that bring out a kind of… instinct in alphas. It must have affected you, too.”

Alejandro nodded, furrowing his brows. “That makes sense.”

Rodolfo hesitated and then looked down again. “I… I’ve loved you for a long time, too… I was so scared, though…”

“I wish you hadn’t been.” Alejandro shook his head. “I wish I could have been there for you. I imagine this must have been hard to go through, alone.”

“Incredibly…” Rodolfo mumbled, dropping his shoulders. “I had Chuy, but when Valeria betrayed us, he ran off and then I had no one.”

“I remember you were devastated.” Alejandro furrowed his brows and nodded. “He asked you to leave with him, I remember I was very jealous and upset.”

Rodolfo hadn’t taken it as jealousy, the idea not even occurring to him. He’d just figured that Alejandro had been lashing out due to what had happened, as he remembered Alejandro and Valeria had become close friends. “I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be. It was a cultural difference, I think.” Alejandro sighed and then smiled. “So is Chuy also an omega?”

Rodolfo nodded a bit. “You never would have had to worry about him, I’m not attracted to omegas.”

Alejandro looked incredibly relieved, which Rodolfo couldn’t help melting at. He felt all fuzzy from the idea of the jealousy Alejandro must have experienced, and he hesitated before curling up to Alejandro, melting more when Alejandro responded by pulling him into his lap.

Alejandro started to touch over his ears, again, and then Rodolfo yelped and blushed when his tail was grabbed. He scolded Alejandro, who apologized. “Can I look at it?”

Rodolfo hesitantly stood, putting his back to Alejandro and blushing even darker when he felt Alejandro touch his tail, though it was very respectful, keeping away from the skin around it. He did tug and Rodolfo quickly swatted his hand away, the skin sensitive. “You could pull it off.”

“I’m sorry…” Alejandro murmured and Rodolfo turned back around to face him. “Rabbits are so fragile… You could have been hurt so many times in the field.”

“Not even taking into account predator hybrids and shifters,” Rodolfo retorted before stopping himself, seeing Alejandro’s eyes almost appear to fill with horror. “I’ll be okay, though!” He quickly promised.

“I’m not putting you back into the field, ever.” Alejandro shook his head, his eyes hardening. “I didn’t even know that was a risk.”

“I’ll be fine…” Rodolfo reassured, sitting on the couch beside him again. “I’ve been trained for this, I’ve been fine this entire time.”

Alejandro did not look convinced. “We’ll discuss this later.” He said, and Rodolfo winced, since that usually meant Alejandro’s mind was made up and they would, in fact, not be discussing this later. Rodolfo, though, decided he’d just push his luck, later.

Instead, he nodded and looked down at his hands, allowing himself to just enjoy Alejandro’s protectiveness. A moment later, his face was gently touched and then he was made to look at Alejandro before Alejandro pressed his lips to Rodolfo’s.

Rodolfo immediately melted into the contact, amazed by finally experiencing what he’d only fantasized about. It was perfect, too. Alejandro was full of the heat that Rodolfo had imagined he would be, and he grasped Rodolfo with as much desire and possessiveness that Rodolfo had indulgently wanted there to be. When Alejandro pushed him to lay back, he didn’t disobey, instead moving to lay back while Alejandro moved with him.

However, it was when Alejandro’s hands touched the waistband of his boxers that he remembered the human anatomy crash course that Liliana, his sister, had given him when he was just figuring out his feelings for Alejandro and had asked her. She was also an omega, but female omegas were apparently fairly similar to human females. So, he quickly jerked back from Alejandro, since he knew omega males and human males were not. “I um… I um…” Rodolfo turned bright red, more so at Alejandro’s apparent confusion. “I’m… I’m different down there.”

Alejandro furrowed his brows before cringing. “You don’t have like… rabbit… genitals, right?”

“No, no.” Rodolfo shook his head. “No, I’m still human down there, just… um… I have… both.”

“...both?”

“I think the human term is hermaphroditic.” Rodolfo blushed. “Though I can’t impregnate, at all.”

Alejandro furrowed his brows and then he touched Rodolfo’s waistband, again, looking to Rodolfo for permission. Rodolfo hesitated before nodding, looking away and taking deep breaths to stay calm and not become anxious again. Rodolfo’s boxers were carefully tugged down and his breath hitched when Alejandro lifted one his legs to push them apart. “I see.” Alejandro said and Rodolfo cringed, feeling very exposed. He gasped and tensed when fingers touched at his hole, blushing dark dark red. “You’re wet…”

“Yeah…” Rodolfo pressed his eyes shut, taking deeper breaths.

Alejandro chuckled, softly, and Rodolfo opened his eyes in surprise. “Makes things easier.” Alejandro shrugged and then the fingers pressed inside, which had Rodolfo gasping at the heat that came from the action.

He moaned when they started to move, curling and twisting, which shot little jolts of pleasure up his spine. “Hermoso…” Alejandro purred and Rodolfo’s skin warmed. “So pretty… Look at you…”

Rodolfo whined and reached up for Alejandro, pulling him close and burying his face in Alejandro’s neck, lifting his legs to wrap them around Alejandro, who seemed to gladly take advantage of the new angle, shoving his fingers deep inside Rodolfo. His fingers were long enough that he could press them against Rodolfo’s back wall, a feat that Rodolfo hadn’t even managed yet, so the sudden and intense pleasure had his legs shaking, already.

Alejandro was a fast learner, he’d always been and it was one of the things Rodolfo admired about him. He took the reaction and started to abuse the pleasure, finding every spot inside of Rodolfo that had him crying and trembling within barely minutes. Rodolfo was soaking wet, able to feel it, and Alejandro chuckled softly, “you’re soaked. Did I do that?”

Rodolfo just whined in response, nodding and keeping his face hidden in Alejandro’s neck. He moved to bite and kiss at the skin he could reach, pleased at the soft groans he earned.

When Alejandro removed his fingers, Rodolfo couldn’t help crying and trying to stop him, but Alejandro soothed him by petting over his ears and moving to kiss over his face. “Shh… I’m not stopping, I just need to get my jeans down.”

Rodolfo blushed and relaxed, nodding and dropping his legs so Alejandro could back up and undress. He was quick with the process, soon covering Rodolfo’s body with his own. The skin to skin contact had Rodolfo’s body very hot with need and he was quick to wrap his legs back around Alejandro, looking up to meet his eyes. They were intense, filled with a dark desire, and Rodolfo blushed, quickly looking away.

Alejandro, however, moved and started to bite over his neck, rough but not harsh, and then he was pushing in and Rodolfo was crying his name, stretched to the brim and so very very full. It was an amazing feeling, relieving like cold water on a hot day. “Fuck, you’re tight…” Alejandro groaned, resting his actions for a moment. “Tighter than I’ve had and that is saying something, all points considered.”

Pride bloomed in Rodolfo’s chest and he made a pleased sound. “You’re the biggest.” He offered, since it was true, before whimpering and whining when Alejandro rocked his hips a bit. “Don’t tease me…” He begged.

“I’m sorry, mi amor…” Alejandro murmured, kissing over Rodolfo’s face again. “You’re so pretty when you cry like that, though…”

Rodolfo moved to hide, gasping when he was stopped and made to look up at Alejandro, who cupped his face. “Don’t look away from me. I love your eyes and I can’t see them when you hide your face.” Alejandro shook his head.

Rodolfo blushed and nodded, biting back an instinctual apology. Finally, Alejandro adjusted and then started to move, slowly pulling all the way out before pushing back inside. The sensation had Rodolfo feeling unable to breathe, already overwhelmed by pleasure.

Alejandro didn’t stop, though, picking up a consistent, fast pace that had him hitting deep inside Rodolfo’s body, making Rodolfo swear he could feel him in his stomach. “You fill me so much…” Rodolfo whimpered, crying out at a sharp thrust. “To the brim and more…”

“Good…” Alejandro growled, quickening his pace and then grabbing Rodolfo by the back of his head and forcing him to tilt it back before attacking his now exposed neck.

At first, the action startled and caused an instinctual fear in Rodolfo, before he was melting and crying from pleasure. Alejandro’s hands gripped his hips in a bruising manner and Rodolfo hoped they would, wanting a lasting mark of this moment, of him finally getting everything he ever wanted.

“Can I get you pregnant?” The sudden question startled Rodolfo, but he nodded, honestly. “Fuck… that drives me crazy in ways it shouldn’t…” Alejandro’s eyes darkened.

Rodolfo moaned at another sharp thrust, pleasure curling in his stomach from the statement. He would admit he very much liked the idea, rocking his hips to encourage Alejandro to breed him. Eventually, his cock was grabbed and pumped at the same speed, which had Rodolfo thrashing. His thighs trembled at an almost alarming rate and his entire body tensed before an orgasm crashed into his body, too fast for him to really even process.

But, it didn’t matter, because he was flipped onto his stomach as Alejandro’s pace became animalistic, his shoulder being harshly bit into, and the action keeping Rodolfo suspended in his orgasm, prolonging it until Alejandro was finally jerking his movements and hot thick cum filled Rodolfo’s insides.

Finally, Alejandro collapsed onto his back, burying his face in Rodolfo’s shoulder and nuzzling him. “Fuck…”

Rodolfo agreed, panting as he tried to come down. “I’ve wanted this for so very long…”

“So have I.” Alejandro nodded before starting to gently and lazily kiss over Rodolfo’s skin. “I’ll take care of you. I’ll make sure you have everything to be healthy and happy. I may need some education, but I promise to try.”

Rodolfo just melted, very warm and fuzzy. “I am on heat blockers… Which block my heat cycle. So… officially, I can’t get pregnant right now.”

Alejandro nodded a bit. “We’ll talk about that one, later. If you wish to come off them, we could easily just go to the ranch during your cycle.”

Rodolfo again got all fuzzy and warm at the idea, happily wiggling his tail between him and Alejandro’s bodies, blushing when Alejandro was quick to sit up and pull out. “Do that again.” Alejandro commanded and Rodolfo shyly repeated the action. “Fuck, you’re adorable, too. I’ve always thought that, too. I felt bad, because I thought I was emasculating you.”

Uh oh. New term. “I don’t uh… I don’t know what that means.” Rodolfo blushed, laying his face on the arm of the couch. “Humans have such silly terms.”

“I’ll explain it later.” Alejandro chuckled and picked Rodolfo up, moving them to Rodolfo’s bed and practically wrestling Rodolfo into curling up against his chest. “What other things can you do?”

Rodolfo blushed and then perked his ears up, like he did when he was trying to hear better. “My human ears are purely aesthetic… Just a remnant of evolution, I guess.”

Alejandro furrowed his brows. “No wonder your hearing is so dogshit, then, with them kept to your head.”

“Yeah…” Rodolfo winced and dropped his ears, again, blushing when Alejandro watched them droop. “They’re actually pretty reactive. But, it is very hard to hear with them pinned. Liliana learned sign to get around it.”

Alejandro nodded a bit and smiled. “Well, now you don’t have to. You’re so beautiful…” He murmured, reaching up to again pet his ears, which had Rodolfo melting and curling up tighter to him. “So pretty.”

“Thank you…” Rodolfo looked up at him, smiling when he was kissed, softly. He then yawned, exhausted from every part of the day.

“Sleep, Rudy…” Alejandro pulled the blanket up over them and continued to pet him. “We have a lot to discuss.”

“We do…”

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goldenpinof · 5 months

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curious about your perspective – what do you think is the primary reason for the current comeback, and for the large scale of it (daily videos, new heavily marketed merch, etc)? are they trying to make up some monetary loss? is it true revitalized passion? the influence of the new management? lead-up to a major project/announcement? i'm guessing there's an element of at least the first three, but interested in your opinion as a noted non-cynical cynic (compliment btw)

under the cut because that's a lot. and it's not even all of my thoughts, unfortunately.

no one is gonna read it. but if you are, i'm sorry in advance.

ahaha. about merch. did you notice how they just continue to promote the calendar and the catboy sweater even though the initial release and promo had a deadline aka till December 1st? this is a fishy marketing right there. and i would love to know: why they did what they did (i'd assume they printed more calendars than people ordered by Dec 1st, but that's not our problem as customers. we shouldn't have been put into a framework in the 1st place if there was a chance for this shit to go south. this theory goes against the "pre-order" with a start of shipping in 2-3 weeks); why their managers allowed it (from a legal perspective); and why dnp didn't say anything. anyways.

i do think that Dan is trying to compensate for wad losses. and i know that he was "joking" about not making money or making negative money on tour. but i saw ticket sales a day before each show (only public information, not the inside official data from venues), it's still on my blog. and the sales didn't look good. so, how much of it was a joke? and compensating by making content that we and they enjoy isn't a bad thing, btw! i also think that he feels guilty for leaving us and the dnp brand behind for so long without actually giving us anything in return. thus so many comments on this 5-year hiatus and potential future ones. blame youtube originals, i know. not really his fault, but his choice of (the lack of) communication is his fault. and again, i always come back to wad. something fucking clicked in his head when he saw not as many people as he hoped for (or expected), how dedicated were some of those who still supported him during wad, and also he realised that without stronger managers he was not gonna make it solo. and he dragged Phil along because they do everything together and only then it works the best, and also dnpg's return in full force needed new energy for the amount of sponsorships they decided to do (i think, it's mainly Phil's pushing, because he is pro-sponsorships, they just need to be more careful with it on dnpg because Dan (hopefully) has principles when it comes to this. which is amazing. you go, girl!)

i'm very suspicious of dnp's new management right now. so idk. i think, again, most of it comes from Phil, because Phil thrives on their gaming channel, and that's basically the only easy way to survive on youtube and make money right now (for him). i'm glad dnp separated dnpg from their solo careers at least on the management and content levels. it gives Phil the room to use dnpg as a brand to pitch and fund his ideas/projects if it's ever needed. and now, after we survived the hiatus, they can pause dnpg for a couple of months to focus on their solo projects without losing the majority of the audience because technically we would know the reason and also we grew a thicker skin.

i do think that Dan is using dnpg to later help himself with a stand-up special or tour or some sort of series (danisnotokay). i also think he will use it to promote wad dvd (which is good. i will be disappointed if he doesn't use dnpg. like, bitch, why are we even here then? those who went through wad with him, i mean). i wonder if Inter Talent (i'm separating their name intentionally at his point because they piss me off) was smart enough to announce Dan and Phil's signings 2 weeks after UTA announced Dan to just make us pay attention to Dan's solo career again. as a hint of something coming our way. you know what i mean? i wonder if it was intentional. like UTA made a huge announcement, Dan retweeted it and posted it on instagram stories. it was a big deal. meanwhile, dnpg began thriving again and our eyes were on Dan anyway, so of course we noticed that solo career was on the maps again. Inter Talent was basically silent as another representative of Dan (and Phil), despite having them on the website for at least a month. and now 2 weeks after UTA's announcement (which was on November 22, 2023) Inter Talent was like, "hello? do you remember we signed Dan? and also Phil, and their joint channel?" Dan said wad dvd is almost cooked. wouldn't it be genius to stir our interest up step by step? (a part of me still thinks that Inter Talent's social media managers are just slow as fuck though. also they don't even care to check facts about their clients. UTA didn't fuck the announcement up like that, btw. and i doubt Inter Talent realises how nosy dnp's audience is, and that we are very likely gonna notice and spread even this stupid announcement. maybe they are dumb and it's me who is a fucking genius planning steps to present wad dvd to the masses, ugh. when will Dan pay me, like for real.)

i'm surprised you don't think it's heavily connected to new projects. i would bet my kidney it does. Dan will fuck off the moment he needs to focus on danisnotokay or someone offers to sponsor another tour (which, please, someone do. i need to see him for professional reasons). the question is, fuck off for how long and if it's gonna be communicated thoroughly or not. i'm not saying he will leave for 6 months without giving us something in return to balance things out. no, no, no. i don't think he would dare. but 3-4 weeks, maybe 2 months? sure.

is it true revitalized passion? well. *nervous laughter* i'm gonna defend Phil like i'm a phillie, even tho i'm not. he wanted it just as much as we did. so i believe it's a true revitalized passion at least on his part. i hope he fights for it if it's necessary, i hope he asks us for help if needed. i hope he threatens Dan with an actual divorce and forever home if needed. like, bitch, if there's a chance to keep dnpg alive without Dan actually losing his will to live, we should use that chance. Dan's stubbornness and delulus are not the reason to kill the most fun and profitable thing they ever created aka dnp brand. let it exist, even if alongside solo projects, even if it's 2-3 videos a month. damn, even 1 video (i don't mean during pauses made specifically for the peaks of solo projects). i do think Dan enjoys the attention, money, and possibilities their returned audience can give him. he also enjoys working with Phil. he certainly does not enjoy promoting their videos. and he is lucky he has Phil for that. is it a true passion for the gaming channel and joint branding solemnly? i genuinely don't think so. now, this dnp brand puts Dan into a framework, unfortunately. and i understand his desire to grow as a "strong independent Dan", and i wish him the best. i will root for him no matter how much of a floppy-ding-dong it can potentially be. i want him to fulfill his dreams and have a team that will fight for his interests. and i hope to god, UTA and Inter Talent are the ones. don't fucking tempt me with your unprofessionalism. but do i think Dan's head and heart belong to dnpg or dnp brand? no. i'm happy that he is at least trying. a part of me doesn't even care about the reason. i'm curious, but in hindsight, it wouldn't matter or change anything.

other thoughts, because apparently i decided to vomit on a keyboard tonight:

i'm glad dnp took back a bit of control over the editing on dnpg. i hope they will try to edit more themselves when gamingmas is over. or they will teach their editors better. because man, we need to slow down with these cuts.

i do think that dnp brand will expand, and dnpg and merch aren't the only things we should expect. (twitch, podcast or liveshows, onlyfans or its equivalent, vlogging series not limited by ditl, and other things that i forgot). reaction videos are already a thing and it's very funny because it's what youtube wants, so Dan must feel amazing right now falling for it :)) it's good thought because it's fun and torture for all parties involved.

i think by these reaction videos they are trying to rewrite their internet history a little bit for those who are new. it's not gonna work with us but at least dnp can control the narrative in new people's heads (i wonder for how long though).

with new people, the phandom will become more generic and dnp will love that. it can actually help Dan with new projects i think. Phil as well, but we don't know shit about it right now.

i wonder if Dan returns to working with charities.

if they involve more phannies, not only artists, it's gonna be interesting.

in case i'm wrong, don't step on my neck, i don't know anything for a fact. half of it is alleged, the other half is wishful thinking <3

#answered #wad #wad dvd #inter talent #uta #dan and phil #ahahah suffer yall #dnpgames #dan and phil's merch

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its-a-me-mango · 28 days

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MANGOOO!! hello, been shy to slide into asks but i got very curious looking at your SMG4 posts.. do you have any headcanons you think are cool ? Would be a blast to see them! :D

OH HAI!!!! Oh my god I love headcanons so much I promise, but I'm one of those people who immediately forgets them all when I'm asked about them. Also I forgot which ones are mine and which ones are someone elses, thought tbh if someone HC is good enough for me to think I made it then like, that would be a huge compliment to me haha! X3

I have a few that I can think of off the top of my head right now, there's a few that need a whole post to explain but I'll do that when I feel like it, gonna leave out any LGBT headcanons because I already agree with everyone else, they are all gay and trans except the ones that aren't and that's so awesome.

Again forgive me if I repeat someone else's HC, or if anything I say is proven to not be possible, I fucking forgorrrrr;

SMG3 has tattoos, I know I've shown that one already but listen. He has 3, one is a half sleeve on his left forearm that's got a skull and a bunch of bombs and explosions around it, another one is on his right mid thigh which is a memorial tattoo for Terence, and one very small one on his back right shoulder blade that's just a little skull (it's very blown out and old). He'd like to get more at some point, none of the others have any tattoos but he's trying to convince them to get one.

All the SMG's have the little arrow thing that was on their guardian pod as a marking somewhere on their body, SMG1 has his on his chest under his scarf, SMG2 has his under his hat, SMG3 has his on his lower back, and SMG4 has his on the back of his neck, they're all pretty hidden and not too visible, but anytime they use their meme guardian powers they glow.

Tari is just a bird fan in general, for someone who stays inside gaming she sure knows every single bird ever. She's not a bird watcher but she can identify any bird you show her easily, and she's always happy and excited to see bird when she does go out. Obviously though ducks are her favourite, but she like all waterfowl in general.

Karen is divorced, she just gives me divorced girl energy. She has full custody of her kids because her ex was a piece of shit and didn't want them anyway, her kids were all too young to know about him thankfully. She probably got married right out of highschool or something, those relationships never seem to work out. I keep thinking of those "day in the life of a divorced 23 year old" videos like, that's her lol.

Bob's secret hobby is fabric work, you will catch him dead before you catch him admitting or even showing anything he makes, but he makes garments and furniture for fun. Sometimes he'll throw them into the black market and lie about their value for a quick buck and to clear out space, he doesn't care much once they're completed he just likes making them.

I think this one's just semi canon, but SMG4 Mario is secretly really good at reading people, yeah he's kinda dumb but he can pick up what people are feeling in depth, he just doesn't always get why. He's also just a good guy to go to for comfort, not advised though don't listen to him, he's just really good to ramble/vent too (mainly because he won't remember what you said lol).

I'm sure I'll think of more as soon as I post this, but come back and ask again at some point and I'll try and remember them lol

#mangos mystery ask box #I love headcanons I love them so much aaaRGFHHGH #Smg4

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imtryingbuck · 5 months

Text

Happy at last

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Summary: The team lose their friend (I’m bad at summaries sorry)

Word count: 751

Warnings: fluffy (my attempt at it anyway), mention of suicide. there’s a bit in the fic that is most definitely wrong by law but just go with it okay? Okay. the last chapter

A/N: I’m really sorry this is short. This weekend hasn’t been the greatest so…anyways sorry if it’s shit but I genuinely don’t have the energy to do anymore. I do hope you enjoy it though and thank you to everyone who’s commented, liked and reblogged each chapter it truly means the world🤍

Masterlist Series Masterlist

It’s been three years since Y/n and Bucky left hand in hand for Wakanda. The first nine months they were there was pretty hectic.

Shuri got her prepped and ready for the deprogramming, which didn’t take as long as Bucky’s. When she was clear of her trigger words that Bucky had read out, just like she read his all them years ago.

Steve let Bucky know that the President had been arrested for his role at Hydra, just after he was arrested he committed suicide. His name was still tarnished and the whole world knew what he had done.

Y/n made sure that his mistress, the mother of his unborn child, Alisha Grey and Baby Grey’s bodies were found and given a proper burial, right next to where her grave lays.

The new President gave Y/n a full pardon and gave her the Presidential Medal of Freedom medal. Stating on national television that Y/n L/n was never a traitor but a hero. A hero that had been saving people’s lives since she was 16 years old and that’s what she should be always known and remembered for. A hero.

The bosses and agents of SHIELD were all fired for what they did to her. Some were even arrested and sent to prison.

The warden of the Raft was arrested and sent to prison for endangering life that he was in charge of and for abuse and neglect, as well as profiting from assaults. He got 20 years.

Hydra had finally been shut down completely, all agents arrested and charged to with life imprisonment.

Y/n and Bucky’s relationship started. After she was given the all clear Bucky didn’t waste a single millisecond to kiss her. Kissing her like his life depended upon it right in front of T’Challa, Shuri, Nakia and Okoye - who all cheered and clapped.

When the time came for them to go back to their other home, Bucky tried to convince her to stay-

“Doll we have a life here, we’re safe”

“But… then that means we’ll have a normal life”

“And?”

“I-I don’t know how to live a life that’s normal Buck, all my life I’ve been trained to fight from one fight to the next…”

“I know, and my love you’re not alone. I’m right here with you. We’ll do it together I promise living a normal life scares me too but we can continue to be happy here”

She hesitated, what he was saying was true and she knew that. Though she did have to admit she took to farming rather quickly, naming all their goats after members of the team and the bull they had after Fury. She also did enjoy helping out on the markets, bouncing from stall to stall. Loved helping the children with schoolwork and keeping them busy by playing with them when their parents were busy or tired. She especially loved the day she delivered a beautiful baby girl - bless Bucky’s heart he had to hear about it every day for nearly two weeks, in full detail.

She loved the feeling of being free. Free from the pain and suffering she either saw or went through. Free from one order to the next. Free to finally be herself.

But even if she did love that feeling she was terrified off it, what she had told Bucky wasn’t wrong, all of her life the only thing she knew what to do was to fight and to survive.

Wakanda was her home from the minute she stepped foot in the country many years ago, and with Bucky by her side she knew everything was okay, right?

“Okay…”

“Okay?”

“Okay we can stay” Bucky picked her up and spun her around until he lost his footing making them fall to the ground, it didn’t stop him from placing kisses upon kisses to her face.

The team understood when Bucky and Y/n told them that they was retiring, nor was they surprised by the two’s relationship.

One by one the team followed suit and retired too, all being welcomed openly by King T’Challa and the people of Wakanda.

Each and everyone of them had found happiness.

It’s now the 9th of March 2026, time currently is 11:54pm, their whole family is waiting outside the couples home wincing at hearing Y/n’s screams.

The clock strikes 12:01 and all is heard is the cries of a baby.

Bucky runs out a few minutes later with tears streaming down his face.

“It’s a boy!”

<Previous

Tags: @unaxv @learisa @vicmc624 @bethexo07 @doublebassallie @cyberficlya @elijahssuit @sapphirebarnes @wasffginc @ladyvenera @casa-boiardi @cjand10 @iloveceandsswithallmyheart @violetwinterwidow01 @avocadotoastwithegg

~ banner credit goes to @sweetpeapod ~

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blinkpen · 10 months

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I hope I'm using the ask feature correctly because I've never used it before but!!! I've been racking my brain for the names of some characters of yours who were like... Little entertainer gremlins that fed off the negative energy of all the parents forced to slog through their shows?

You're thinking of The Snuggywuffles!

Here's them and a little bit about each of them under the cut, though there's not too much to them; they really only exist when I need something to drop in and Annoy people in a no-stakes B plot

Weadership the leader, obviously; their onstage and offstage behaviors are surprisingly consistent, being just as affable, serene and willing to offer guidance to their subordinates as they are to offer lessons and stories to the children they entertain. the one who is least likely to go out of their way to be annoying on purpose, and as such, is able to have sincere conversations with the parents of attendees, but is also the one most prone to lock their uncomfortably vacuous eyes with yours and say some cryptic ominous-ass shit to you for no damn reason.

Wadybug was planned to be "The Girl One(TM)!" before marketing suggested at least one more, to which Wollipop voluntered; to note, however, is that Wadybug is the only snuggywuffle who actively requests others maintain she/her pronouns after being introduced to them even in settings where they're all in their horrible True Forms again (the other snuggywuffles are entirely indifferent on theirs but respect her wishes); she basically went "what's that, mortal? oooh, a gender you say? sounds delightful, don't mind if i do! hmmm i like this 'girl' concept of which you speak" when the CLoA are in her line of sight, she leans into this and acts the most obnoxiously cutesy wutesy lovey dovey syrupy sweet to make them cringe

Wimburger very quiet when performing, almost never chimes in verbally; the 'silent bob' of the group during shows, acting as both drummer during music and the **provider of rimshots for Wimshot's comedy. offstage, Wimburger talks much more, and provides rimshots for his own jokes, but if there are no kids around, his dialogue is frequently so profane all that comes out is long streams of uninterrupted censor bleeps that the audience cannot parse for the life of them. is otherwise mellow, even offstage, never taking initiative to provoke the CLoA, but will swiftly Yes And the others' antics once they begin

**this dynamic is intentionally confusing and causes parents to have to buy more toys after misunderstanding their children about who they wanted

Wimshot the clown, the jokester, the prankster, the goofball, of course! does goofy voices and is not above potty humor; parents find him profoundly obnoxious, but what can you do, the kids love it! the G-rated 'jay' to Wimburger's 'silent bob' and a zany scheme of his is often the inciting incident to kick off a show or establish its theme. unsurprisingly, is often the first to start trying to grate the CLoA's patience. his quips become less kid comedy focused when off the clock, but unlike Wimburger, it's dry snark of topics kids simply wouldn't know to find funny, like boasting about one's tax evasion

Wollipop to parents, she is the biggest shill for merch, to kids, she's the spunky one who, with her power to be just ever so slightly rude and selfish, sometimes instigates the closest thing there ever is to interpersonal conflict in Snuggywuffle shows (when it's not one of Wimshot's pranks). she shines more when not performing, as this dial cranks up to being the most openly rude and antagonistic of the bunch. she will latch onto any pet peeve she finds, hoping situations will escalate to violence, motivated by a lack of satisfaction with the "diet suffering" of simply being annoying, and wants an excuse. sometimes, Weadership lets her have one. a little violence. as a treat.

#mog art #ask x #the snuggywuffles #these damn sugar coated gremlins #wollipop is DEFINITELY going like 'uhuh. uhuh. yeah. yeah. definitely. murk him. uhuh. byeee!'

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laundrybiscuits · 1 year

Note

Just curious and i like hearing your thoughts on this stuff. May i ask what aspect of steddie fanon you're referring to (which don't fit IRL queer culture so accurately)?

Ahaha...okay so. IMPORTANT NOTE: fandom is not that crucial, do whatever you want, run free through daisy fields of whatever headcanons and characterizations you please. Also, fic is not real life and that's okay!!

That being said, fandom can get slightly weird about sex, especially queer sexual cultures and especially historical queer sexual cultures. I mean, I get it! Our current hegemonic understanding of sexuality is actually pretty recent; I studied sexuality from a sociological perspective as part of my undergrad degree, focusing on moral panics (gosh I wonder why Eddie's character arc appeals to me! so mysterious!), and I know just enough to know that I don't know shit. So I certainly don't expect anyone to be doing paradigm-shifting sociohistorical research for a fic. That would be ridiculous.

All of this is leading up to say that based on 1) the relayed experiences of queer mentors who were in the scene in the 80s 2) the secondary sources I’ve researched 3) personally having many gay male friends who love oversharing through the last ~15 years, I believe that if canon-compliant gay Eddie Munson is a virgin, it’s largely by choice.

I've seen it suggested that Eddie's poor academic performance and nerdy interests would be, essentially, a dick deterrent. And like...I enjoy Eddie’s weirdo loser vibe as much as the next fan. I fully support him not being in any way smooth or cool with boys. But even when I myself was in my late teens/early twenties, many of my closest friends were awkward nerdy twinks who absolutely managed to get laid every weekend because MSM* hookup culture is eternal.

And in the early 80s, when Eddie would’ve been in his late teens, MSM hookup culture was at its peak. AIDS still wasn’t being taken that seriously, and transmission etc. wasn’t really understood because…well, you know this story. It’s not a good story. Fuck Reagan.

In short, I really can’t emphasize enough how certain types of sexual contact were extremely available for men seeking sex with men. A pretty young thing like Eddie could have literally as much sex as he wanted. Nobody is asking him for a high school transcript or anything about his hobbies, they’re asking if he tops.

Now, would Eddie actually participate in the hookup culture of the time? That's a more complicated and speculative question, and not actually what you asked, but I'm going to talk about it briefly anyway.

In the 'yes' column: he has his own vehicle**, zero supervision, and a penchant for risky behavior.

In the 'no' column: the boy has at least three extremely involved hobbies eating up his spare time and energy; he's also a not-so-secret romantic.

Personally, I can see the pseudo-intimacy appealing to Eddie's tendency to keep people at arm's length, and I think it’s very plausible for him to be curious and experimental enough to want to explore a bit. I tend to land on 'tried it a few times, doesn't make a habit of it' in my backstories. I also tend to hint at the softer, friendlier side of hookup culture in my fics, just because I don’t often see it represented.

Of course it’s like any other scene, there are bad actors and generally shitty people/situations, and sometimes the MSM scene specifically can be a bit of a soul-draining meat market. (ETA, because I am not white and neither are the vast majority of my friends and I felt increasingly weird not mentioning it even though it's not relevant to Eddie's situation: the scene is often also super racist, among other things! But that's a whooole other complicated kettle of fish, and again, not relevant to Eddie's situation.)

But there’s also space for casual sex to be part of a friendly relationship, in a way that I don’t really see in hetero circles. It’s hard to explain. It’s one of those dynamics that basically never shows up in mainstream media at all, so I absolutely don’t blame fics that don’t show it either. It’s just one of those things.

This is a step to the left, but I recommend checking out Dykes To Watch Out For: it’s practically an anthropological document depicting dyke culture in the 80s, it’s often funny as hell, and it’s just a fantastically detailed and relatively accessible window into a particular way of life that doesn’t really exist anymore.

*MSM = men who have sex with men. It’s a sociological designation; not everyone in this category identifies as gay, bi, queer, etc. It may be useful to think about sexuality as having three distinct components: behavior, identity, and desire. The term “MSM” puts focus on the behavioral aspect, because it’s most relevant in this context.

**As someone who has experienced several other countries' driving cultures, I just want to emphasize to non-Americans how willing many Americans are to drive for multiple hours for basically any reason whatsoever.

#askbox #GOD this got long #I will absolutely delete this and go on a blocking spree with zero notice if it sparks any discourse whatsoever #I'm not even tagging it as meta #I just get so freaking paranoid when talking about sex/sexuality publicly on this hellsite #ETA new tag:#ST meta for TS

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tropes-and-tales · 7 months

Text

Just Be

Day 4: Sex Work (Benny Magalon x F!Reader)

(For the 2023 Kinktober event that I created on my own because I am boring and basic and am trying to keep it simple this year...found here!)

CW: Light angst (if you count sad thoughts); smut (erotic massage; sex work; PiV, protected); 18+ only.

Word Count: 3059

AN: This was requested by an anonymous person!

No one would ever accuse the men of Major Crimes of having their shit together.

Zapata and Connors both teeter into full-blown addiction, the two of them binge drinking on the weekends and days off to make up for the days they can’t drink. Henderson prefers party drugs and women, runs through both at an alarming rate. Everyone knows Big Nick’s disaster of a life, cheating on his wife and often missing major moments in his young daughters’ lives because he’s busy partying or playing at being the big man.

Borracho? Borracho dabbles with alcohol, with the tamer drugs—weed, mostly, but sometimes coke or molly. But his real vice is women.

Married twice. Divorced twice. A failed engagement in between. Countless girlfriends, and as many one-night stands and hookups as there are stars in the sky. He likes his women a little crazy, off-kilter enough to keep things interesting. It’s what always attracts him at the beginning, that scuffed-up angel with a tarnished halo thing. The type of woman who’s game to blow him in public, who will take his hand eagerly and fuck him in the dirty bathroom at a dive bar.

Unfortunately, those type of women are also the same type to slash his tires or show up at a crime scene to scream at him. The type to stalk him, follow him to a Major Crimes party and fight with him, then slip off with Big Nick as revenge for some perceived slight.

And maybe none of it mattered when he was young, but he’s creeping closer to middle age now. He finds the game exhausting now. He can’t muster up the energy to go out every night like he used to. The weekend meat market at the bars and clubs feels more like a chore than anything else. And he goes home alone more often than not: he’s bordering on creepy now, no longer young, and he sees the side-eye some of the women give him, the wide berth as they walk past the silent man with the salt and pepper facial hair and blurred neck tattoo.

At least he has you. For awhile now, he’s had you. The steadiest woman in his life. Sometimes—when he’s in the throes of a new divorce or curling up alone in his bed after a wasted night out—he’ll contemplate how sad it is that you’re his steadiest relationship.

You and Borracho, together all this time. You, the woman who gives erotic massages that lead to more. Him, the man who pays for your services.

-----

Benny would have never thought himself the type of man to pay for a rub and tug on the regular. Calling it a rub and tug, though, fails to capture what you really do.

What do you really do? Benny misunderstood, the first time he paid for your services. He thought of sex work as a monolith, considered all the sex workers he knew through work and Big Nick’s parties, and he blundered badly. He got a little rough with you that first time, called you a filthy whore, and you had shut it down immediately. You had gripped his jaw hard enough to hurt, and stared down at him with cold eyes.

“No,” you’d told him that first time. “There’s a million girls out here who will let you treat them like shit. I’m not one of them. You speak to me respectfully or I leave, understand?”

He did understand. He had nodded, gulped hard, apologized.

Everything between the two of you has been smooth ever since.

He calls you when he needs relief, and if he ever gets caught, that’s how he’ll explain it. It’s just relief, release, whatever. He’s just a man in need of a woman.

But deep down, he knows it is more. There are a million girls who will let him treat them terribly, but there’s only one you. Benny knows he keeps returning to you because you give relief, release, whatever…but you also give comfort. When he’s heartsore and exhausted to the marrow of his bones, you’re there for him.

Sometimes—like when he’s watching his brother and his young family living so happily together—he’ll contemplate how sad it is that he has married and dated absolute disasters but how he has to pay the sweetest, gentlest woman he’s ever known for her time and company.

-----

In the beginning, you met in neutral territory, hotel rooms, mostly. Then you started going to his apartment, leaving a ghostly trace of your perfume on his pillows that would linger for a day or two. For the last year or so, though, you’ve allowed him to come to your place—your home, where few clients are even afforded a glimpse—because you’ve known him so long and trust him.

You have a little bungalow in Silver Lake, and Benny wonders if your neighbors know what you do for a living. He knocks on your door, and he doesn’t wait long before you’re opening it and ushering him in.

“It’s been a while,” you say, and you have the same soft smile you always greet him with. You’re in your usual casual outfit, a wrap dress he knows has nothing underneath it. You bring him to your guest room—reserved for your work—and you offer him something to drink.

He declines. He’d been tipsy that first time with you when he badly erred, and he always remains sober since that night.

“This is for you,” he says, and he hands you your fee—an exorbitant amount plus tip, but worth every penny. He slips it in a greeting card each time, a flimsy pretense in case you get caught. But you never do.

You take it, thank him. You slip the card out of the envelope, but you don’t count the cash in front of him. He’s earned enough trust that you don’t verify his payment, but you do like to see which card he’s selected for each tryst. Sometimes it’s a birthday card, and sometimes it’s a different sentiment or holiday. Sometimes he looks for more obscure holidays, just to make you laugh.

Tonight’s card makes you laugh. It’s a genuine laugh; you throw your head back, open-mouthed, and laugh full from your belly.

“’For a wonderful pastor and wife’?” you read. “Seriously, Ben?”

He lifts a shoulder in a shrug, bites back a smile. “Found it in the ‘Clergy Appreciation’ section of the store.”

You laugh again, then you thank him. You tuck the card and money in a discreet drawer on the table that holds all of your various massage tools and implements, and you turn to face him. Your broad grin has been replaced by your soft smile again.

“Shall we?” you ask.

-----

If Benny Magalon had a therapist, they’d have a better handle on his psyche than he does. Benny doesn’t spend much time ruminating on what makes him tick, what his likes and dislikes and fears and hopes say about him. If asked, he’d say he’s a simple man, a guy’s guy who likes beer and women and sports, who is generally unphased by life.

A therapist would peel past all of that and declare it complete bullshit.

Benny is a child of a broken home who grew up to be a detective. He’s been shot at. He’s shot suspects. He has killed. He stands over the bodies of murdered people—men, women, children. He sinks down into the underworld on a regular basis, touches on the darkest parts of human nature. He unwinds with alcohol, drugs, and women, and his only real relationships are his Major Crimes brothers and his multitude of hot, crazy women.

His Major Crimes brothers don’t really know him. His multitude of women don’t either. Hell, Benny hardly even knows himself.

A therapist wouldn’t need much time to figure out what he gets out of this thing with you. What he gets from you, the lone woman standing amongst failed marriages, a failed engagement, and countless failed relationships. What no one else has ever given him.

Gentle touches. A care and attention to his body, the gnarled knots of muscles, the twinging nerves pinched from sitting in a car all day for a stake-out. Soft kisses on every part of him, your skilled hands stroking him, working him into a state of relaxation he’s never known anywhere else but with you. Soft music playing in the background, soft light illuminating the room. The soft scent of your perfume, your shampoo, your body wash.

Everything about you is so fucking soft, and you make him soft too, and if Benny ever bumps against that realization, he shoves it away, doesn’t examine it. But the fact remains: you are the one person who makes him soft, and you give him the safe space to be soft. Benny gets to leave it all behind—the sad childhood, the disappointing relationships, the loneliness, the unhealthy coping mechanisms, the filth and grit of his job. He gets to shed his tough-guy persona, the whole stiff-upper-lip thing. He doesn’t have to pretend to be okay, doesn’t have to bury his feelings deep for fear of having Big Nick call him a pussy or worse.

Benny gets to just be.

Tonight, you undress him slowly. You never hurry. He’s bought your time, and you never cheat him. You unbutton his shirt, push it off of his shoulders and arms. You undo his belt, unbutton his jeans, push them down over his hips. You push his boxers down too, and you drag your knuckles lightly over his half-hard cock but go no further. You drop sweet little kisses along the parts of him you expose, his chest and his shoulders, and once he’s naked, you gesture for him to lie down on the bed.

Benny knows the drill. He lies face-down on the bed, and already he feels more relaxed. More himself, whoever that may be. He sloughs off the past few months, the awful cases he’s worked, the failed dates and relationships that never left the ground. He’s not ruminating on the past and he’s not worried about the future. He’s just here, now, with you.

A moment later, and he hears the plastic snap of the bottle, the massage oil you warm between your palms before you climb on the bed and join him. You straddle his waist, and it’s a comforting weight on him. A moment after that, your hands on him: warm, slick, accompanied by the light scent of sandalwood. Stroking him from head to toe.

You start at his scalp. Your fingernails scratch him lightly, you tug at his short hair. Down to all the small muscles in his neck, the larger ones in his shoulder and back. You have a rhythm that makes him sink into the bed: light strokes that makes him spark to life, makes goosebumps prickle along his skin. Harder strokes, your fingertips seeking the knots and whorls and loosening them. Then your bent head, your lips light as air, like you’re sealing your massage work with a chaste kiss to push the magic deeper into him.

You scoot lower, straddle his thighs. You work his lower back, his ass, and you always give him a flirty little smack that makes him laugh after so much squirming, since he’s especially ticklish there.

Then lower. You massage his hamstrings, work out the stiffness there, then the knot in his calf that snarls up when he sleeps, always wakes him up with the pain. Then his feet, finally, and you sometimes joke about breaking out the belt sander to keep his hooves soft, but tonight you just hum and ask him to turn over.

He does, and Benny is never so happy to have this time to be soft as he is when he turns over. You always look so gorgeous in the soft candlelight, the sight of you straddling him in your dress and him naked, like you’re some sort of goddess coaxing him to life from the common clay of the earth.

He knows he pays for it, but this is nothing like his usual dalliances. It’s nothing like he had in his two disastrous marriages, his disastrous engagement. He can cede control to you and not feel like less of a man; he can let you soothe him, he can focus on the way he feels instead of endlessly worrying that he’s performing well, that he’s the biggest, that he lasts the longest out of any other man his partner has been with.

Besides, when he turns over, that’s when you kiss him in earnest. That’s when you snake a hand into some inner, hidden tie within your dress and loosen it, let the soft fabric pool around your shoulders and over the swell of your breasts before you toss it aside. That’s when you turn those clever hands of yours to more promising parts of him: his chest down to his belly, then down to where his cock strains for you.

But you don’t rush it. You give the front of him the same amount of attention, if not more. You pause more to return to his mouth, to kiss him, alternating playful pecks against more passionate ones where you seal your mouth over his, where you lick against him until he’s groaning and squirming underneath you.

You put your mouth to his chest, nipping against his pecs, laying the edge of your teeth lightly against his nipples before you lave his tender flesh with your tongue. Benny always thinks of it afterwards, this simplest of movements, but how you’re the only woman to ever put her mouth to his nipples, to explore this most obvious of erogenous zones on him.

Through all of it, praise. You tell him in your quiet voice how good he is, how perfect. You praise every bit of him—the muscles he works so hard to maintain in the gym, sure, but also the parts no one else ever notices. His eyes, his hands, his legs, his ass. You seem to genuinely like his hands, so when he reaches out to steady you against him, you don’t push him away.

Benny wonders sometimes if you’re like this with other clients or just him, but he never allows himself to get obsessive about it. He’s savvy enough to know that he’s not that far from jealousy, and it would be a fatal mistake to mix feelings with this relationship.

Okay, so he only allows himself to get a little jealous. Only sometimes.

You can always judge when he’s reached the limits of his patience. Benny gets squirmy, wriggles underneath you, but you always ask the same question, a paragon of consensual sex.

“You ready, handsome?” you ask.

His answer is always the same, and Benny can be corny with you, can run the stupidest of lines on you because he doesn’t have to play it cool at all.

“I was born ready, beautiful.”

Which always makes your soft smile widen, and then you reach past him to snag a condom. You tear the foil, and you roll the latex onto him, and this is the sole moment where Benny has regrets: he’s not against condoms, but he wishes he could fuck you raw.

He wishes he knew what it feels like to slide into you, to feel not just the warmth and tightness of you but also the slickness of your arousal. Some primal part of him—the jealous part, he guesses—wishes he could come inside you, mark you as his. He could convince you to retire, could have you for himself—

You cut him off, cut off his usual fantasy, by grasping his cock and lining it up with your entrance, then mounting him. Slowly. You always go slow. You take him inch by inch, gaze into his eyes as you impale yourself on his throbbing length. Benny tries to gaze back at you, wants to be fully in the moment, but you always feel so fucking good that he ends up squeezing his eyes shut and clenching his jaw against the urge to thrust up into you and come immediately.

And you always do the same thing here, too. You reach down and grip his jaw—an echo of that first night together, but you’re gentle now. You hold him until he opens his eyes again, and you chide him softly. You run the tip of your thumb over his lower lip, the touch so featherlight he wants to weep.

“This is about you, Ben,” you remind him. “Don’t you dare hold back, okay?”

He doesn’t hold back, but he still manages to make you come nine out of ten times. He doesn’t hold back as his hips press up as you bounce on his cock, your tits gorgeous as they bounce too, your thighs strong and rounded as you work yourself on him. He doesn’t push away his orgasm as it approaches, but he shifts a hand to where you’re joined to him. He rubs against your clit, slick and swollen, and Benny knows you’re a pro, but he doesn’t think you’re faking it when your rhythm gets sloppy. He thinks it’s genuine, how you whine out his name, how your bracing hand on his chest spasms against his pec.

But he knows that you aren’t faking it when you come a beat later. There’s no way you could fake the way your cunt seizes up and grips his cock, the way your smooth muscles ripple against him like they want to pull him deeper inside of you.

He’s never far behind you. He’s grateful for the condom in this moment because it affords him those final few thrusts, his hips leaving the bed as he fucks up into you, before he comes too. The languid heat that has been pooling low in his belly all night finally spills over, molten hot as he comes harmlessly into the latex. The heat spreads outward from his belly to his limbs, up into his head, and Benny thinks, I could die right now and I’d die happy.

Perfectly safe in your cozy little cocoon of a room. Perfectly relaxed from your skilled hands and clever mouth and perfect pussy.

Perfectly just himself.

#benny magalon imagine #benny magalon x reader #benny magalon x reader #benny borracho magalon #benny magalon #borracho magalon #benny borracho magalon x reader #borracho magalon imagine #borracho magalon x reader #den of thieves #kinktober 2023 #tropes and tales

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edaworks · 23 days

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Wasteland Survival Guide: The Institute, Fusion Reactors, and M.I.T.'s Actual Basement

It's that time again. Periodically I make unreasonable longposts about Fallout-related topics (it's a good way to keep track of fic research). Today I'm tackling nuclear fusion, the Institute, and the real-world Massachusetts Institute of Technology's basement.

Yeah, Yeah, M.I.T. is the Institute, We've All Seen - Wait, What Do You Mean, "The Vault Laboratory?"

M.I.T. - the Massachusetts Institute of Technology - is a highly exclusive research university with a well-deserved reputation for hosting brilliant minds.

It also got its serial numbers filed off in order to host the in-game Institute. Why? Probably because of all the very real research into robotics, artificial intelligence, and power armor (no really). And because M.I.T. is actually doing now what the Institute tries to do in-game with nuclear fusion.

And, of course, because of the vaults in the basement.

You know what? I'll just start at the top...Read on below.

I'll be focusing on fusion-related research in this post, and comparing in-game Institute work on fusion to what's actually happening over at M.I.T. (We'll get to the Media Laboratory and robotics and AI and the, uhm, power armor stuff in a separate post. Or three.)

all actual M.I.T. researchers/faculty/students and/or nuclear physicists have my sincere apologies, I don't know shit about shit but I'm doing my best

I Didn't Sign Up for a Physics Class, but Okay

Here's the thing about nuclear fusion generators - y'know...the ones powering nearly** the entirety of pre-war in-game America?

Including self-contained, miniaturized reactors (fusion cores, fusion cells, microfusion cells, Corvega engines, assaultron and robobrain power supplies, recharger weapons, G.E.C.K.s, etc.) and full-scale reactors (powering vaults, the Lucky 38, the Prydwen (and Rivet City before Maxson Happened), missile silos, etc.)...?

We don't have them yet.

Of course we have nuclear power generation, what are you talking about?

Yes - but nuclear power plants currently operating use fission reactors! Fusion reactors, though? Well...

For the pre-war in-game universe, even more than for us, that fuel-to-energy ratio would have been absurdly important. Companies rushed to implement fusion for damn near every possible use, but waited until the Resource Wars left them no other choice. "No more (viable) oil reserves? Well, shit. Fusion it is."

Because of this, by October 23, 2077, pre-war Western markets were still somewhat new to adopting miniaturized nuclear fusion reactors.

For instance, Chryslus' first fusion vehicles - intentionally reminiscent of the absolutely wild Ford Nucleon concept car dreamed up in 1957 - came to market in 2070, less than a decade before the nuclear exchange.

As for the other benefits of nuclear fusion...Atom knows the in-game universe could do with less radioactive contamination:

It is no wonder the Institute wants to get the reactor in their basement up, running, and running better than originally designed.

Real-life M.I.T. is no stranger to running fusion reactors - they've been at it since the late '60s - but as it turns out, they are currently also "building a better mousetrap," and if they succeed they will be achieving all the Institute would hope for in clean energy production - without the moral deficit.

If nuclear fusion is so great, why aren't we using this technology yet IRL?

Because - and I cannot stress this enough - we are attempting to levitate bits of the Sun inside a donut to make really hot things boil water* so steam will turn a fan attached to a dynamo to power light bulbs.

*(there are two other ways to generate power using this heat)

Naturally...this comes with some complications.

We know fusion reactors can be the most energy-efficient form of power generation - we just need better reactors. That's where M.I.T. comes in.

The biggest problem right now is efficiency:

TL;DR - as of April 2024, all fusion reactors as a matter of course still consume more power to run than they are able to produce (meaning they do not reach "breakeven"). Many cutting-edge reactors also require tritium (very rare) as well as deuterium (very common) fuel.

We did not even see a fusion reaction that reached "breakeven" for power production until December of 2022. That reaction occurred at the National Ignition Facility in California, and their results just passed peer review in February of this year (2024).

Several in-progress reactors aim to improve on this, including ITER (the combined work of dozens of nations) in France, and SPARC: the new reactor under development by Mass Fusion Commonwealth Fusion Systems and M.I.T.'s Plasma Science and Fusion Center (PSFC).

Another big problem with this technology is that it involves plasma.

Plasma, as a particular song reminds us, is what the Sun is made of and The Sun Is Hot. That means plasma carries some very real 'we're-losing-structural-integrity, the-warp-core-is-breaching' risks, and we must jump through all kinds of hoops to work with it.

Why are we shoving the Sun inside a donut, again?

The most well-funded, well-researched way of smashing atoms together involves plasma and magnetic confinement fusion.

This shit is beyond cool. It may also look very familiar:

In-game, the Institute is trying to get what appears to be a spherical tokamak reactor up and running.

Bethesda's choice of reactor was no coincidence: M.I.T. operated the Alcator C-Mod, a spherical tokamak, while Fallout 4 was under development - but that reactor could not achieve "breakeven" IRL, and per Shaun's in-game dialogue, the fictional Alcator C-Mod couldn't either. (Weird given the miniaturized fusion devices everywhere in-universe, but okay, Shaun.)

However, M.I.T. stopped operating that reactor in 2016, a year after Fallout 4's release. SPARC, their planned replacement reactor actually has the sort of power potential we see in-game - and they aim to bring fusion power to market in this decade.

M.I.T., right now, in real life, is doing exactly what you're asked to help the Institute do in-game: build a fusion reactor that surpasses "breakeven."

What the hell is a tokamak and why does it look like half of a Star Trek warp core?

Your typical tokamak reactor is a great big donut-shaped vacuum chamber (the torus), traditionally surrounded by AT LEAST three sets of electromagnets (sometimes many more). M.I.T.'s design for the new SPARC reactor is a bit different, but let's start with the basics.

Why so many magnets?

Because plasma, being Literal Sun Matter, cannot come into contact with the torus containment walls or it will instantly burn through. (This happened in France in 1975. Following initial "well, fuck"s and a couple years' repairs, the logical next step was to publish a paper about it.)

The magnetic fields work to heat the plasma and provide current drive (keep electrons moving in a consistent direction through the plasma and around the torus), while also keeping it from touching anything, preventing a "warp core breach." I'll take a stab at explaining it but the Department of Energy probably does it better.

Meet the magnets:

Toroidal field magnets (blue, above): These enormous D-shaped magnets wrap around and through the torus, conducting an electrical current. This creates a magnetic field that keeps plasma from drifting horizontally into the containment walls.

Central solenoid (green, above): Inside the "donut hole" sits a massive, stacked electromagnet that generates enough electromagnetic force to launch two space shuttles at once. This heats the fuel to about one hundred million degrees Celsius so that it reaches plasma state, and helps "drive" the plasma current around the torus. (Radiofrequency or neutral beam injection heating/drive may be used as well for reactor prototypes aiming for power generation, because current drive from just the solenoid isn’t practical for continuous operation.) The central solenoid also creates another magnetic field called the "poloidal field," which "loops" around the plasma like a collar to prevent it from drifting vertically into the walls. The strongest central solenoid in existence was made for the ITER reactor...by General Atomics.

Outer poloidal field magnets (grey, above): A third set of electromagnets "stacks" up the outside of the torus, and helps maintain and adjust the poloidal field.

Together these three sets of magnets force the plasma to "float" inside the torus, shape it, and provide current drive. The stronger the magnetic field, the higher the reactor's power output.

Okay, and then what?

Given sufficient heat and drive/stability, the plasma fuel mixture undergoes fusion.

Neutrons released during fusion have plenty of kinetic energy (the kind of energy a kickball has midair before it hits you in the face), but no electric charge.

Since magnetic fields only affect negatively or positively charged particles, neutrons completely ignore the fields, sailing straight through and slamming into a "blanket" of metal coating the donut's insides. Neutrons passing into the 'blanket" lose their kinetic energy, which is converted to heat and absorbed by the "blanket." (ITER's "blanket" involves a lot of beryllium, which...behaves a bit differently IRL than it does in-game.)

Heat captured by the "blanket" is then used to generate power. For instance, a water cooling system can bleed heat from the "blanket," regulating temperature and creating superheated highly-pressurized steam to run turbine generators.

I notice you described a "typical" tokamak above -what's the atypical option?

Check out SPARC.

Its huge design departure is that it uses new high-temperature superconducing magnets (most existing types have to be cooled to vacuum-of-space temperatures using something like a liquid helium system to achieve superconductivity, which is a huge power drain) to create a monstrous magnetic field - and its size is tiny in comparison to its projected power output.

Neat. So why did you refer to plasma as a problem?

Well...between the heat and the neutrons, the "blanket," the "first wall" and all plasma-facing surfaces inside the torus take one hell of a beating:

"Neutron degradation of wall surfaces-" "Energy is released in the form of the kinetic energy of the reaction products-" In practical terms, that just means countless neutrons are doing THIS:

...but to the containment wall and other surfaces inside the torus, instead of to Batshuayi's face. And so:

Basically, this stuff breaks fast enough - and the only materials that don't break quickly are rare enough - to create a real barrier to commercial use.

And THIS is one of the problems they're working on solving in M.I.T.'s basement.

Now we can talk about the Vault. FINALLY.

M.I.T. is home to the Center for Science and Technology with Accelerators and Radiation (CSTAR). CSTAR's splash page announces:

Linear plasma devices? You mean like -

No, not like plasma rifles. Instead of weapons, we're talking about tools being used to solve the "plasma fucking destroys everything it touches" problem.

How does CSTAR do this? They've got CLASS. ...No, really:

This field is called plasma-surface interaction science, and if you want a really long but very informative read on how CSTAR's work helps move it forward, check this out. It involves the DIONISOS Linear Plasma Device - a "let's shoot it with plasma and see what happens" tool.

CSTAR also works to better undertstand how materials handle radiation damage, and how they behave after becoming irradiated.

And to handle this sort of work, one needs a...

The Vault Laboratory for Nuclear Science "combines high-intensity particle sources, precision particle detection, and a heavily shielded experimental area to create a facility for nuclear research in high-radiation environments." It contains, among other things:

the DT Neutron Generator, which is used in a variety of experiments, including radiation detector development (pretty damned important) and characterization, fast neutron imaging, and material activation (stuff becoming radioactive).

the DANTE Tandem Accelerator, which was "originally designed to produce high neutron yields for use in cancer therapy research."

And that is what's actually going on in M.I.T.'s basement: truth is cooler than fiction.

The takeaways:

Yes, M.I.T. really is building a revolutionary fusion reactor with parts from Mass Fusion Commonwealth Fusion Systems.

Yes, there really is a secure underground facility where incredibly advanced research related to nuclear fusion, radiation detection, irradiated materials, and degradation of materials due to radiation exposure takes place.

Yes, I really would spend eight hours researching nuclear physics instead of doing more dishes. Shoutout to @twosides--samecoin for tolerating my absurd hyperfocus on researching this.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk on what M.I.T. is really doing in its basement.

Tune in next time for M.I.T.'s Media Laboratory, and how it is related to real-world power armor, plus: the relationship between Langley, P.A.M.'s IRL cousin, and Vault 101.

** (Fallout is wildly inconsistent re: how widespread fusion is in-game and when it was developed. I mean we're talking a two-decade spread of inconsistency! And somehow the technology - first available to the military - was then miniaturized and made available to the general public before becoming widespread for commercial power generation? And somehow we both do and don't have impossible cold fusion in game? It's a mess. I reject this reality and replace it with a fish, hence this post. Also, I hate fission batteries. don't talk to me about fission batteries, "fission batteries" are small fission reactors but they are definitely not "battery sized" - the "fission batteries" in-universe are so miniaturized that they are more likely another kind of atomic battery like a radioisotope thermoelectric generator and those are subject to a law of diminishing returns as the fuel decays/not producing a reasonably useful power output after over 200 years due to the isotopes normally used/can be VERY dangerous if the shielding is breached or removed, and - you know what, that's also a whole different post.)

#actual insanity #fallout #fallout 4 #why am I like this #nuclear fusion #physics #institute #fallout institute #the institute #worldbuilding #meta #oneifbyland #wasteland survival guide

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kourtniwritesagain · 9 months

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Say it with Me Now...Sleep!

A/N: I wrote a similar story years ago, but I seriously can’t find it ANYWHERE. This is my attempt at not exactly rewriting it but doing something equally as fun. So, enjoy sleep-deprived Timmy Drake-Wayne.

Listen, Tim is well aware that he is not exactly the most forthcoming when it comes to information about his general well-being. He knows that he's technically lying. However, everyone lies, right? Like, Dick lies about having free time so he can help whoever needs it when his shoulders can't possibly hold any more weight. Jason lies about hating everyone when he loves the hardest. Damian lies about never caring about feelings when he feels the most. Duke lies about not feeling like an outsider even though everyone knows he still hasn't accepted his position in the family. Cass lies about… okay, well, Cass doesn't lie. But Bruce! Bruce lies about freaking everything. So…Tim lying about sicknesses, injuries, and sleep isn't like…out of the ordinary in Tim's family. So he doesn't really feel bad about lying to Alfred about getting a full night's sleep the previous night.

Well, he doesn't feel too bad.

Tim had, at one point in his life, gotten a full night's sleep. It just wasn't last night. Or the night before that…and so on and so forth. Now that Tim was thinking about it, he'd been up for a full three days. Not his longest record, but the longest in at least six months. Tim is currently working on three cases for Batman Inc., multiple marketing packages for Wayne Enterprises, and two school reports. The cases are what's taking most of his time.

The first case has to do with Scarecrow. Tim believes Crane is working with a new supplier, someone outside of Gotham. He hasn't been able to find out who it is, but he's at least narrowed it down to either Star City or Metropolis. The second case concerns Ivy, which really sucks because she's been relatively quiet ever since she and Harley got together. Honestly, Tim isn't really sure it is Ivy, but it's got to do with these weird plants popping up around the city that shoot some kind of ichor at anyone who gets near. It wouldn't be that big of a deal if it weren't for the fact that the ichor causes blindness for up to two weeks. Tim's been working on a cure, but so far, he hasn't had much luck. Hence, he really needs to talk to Ivy. The third case deals with Victor Zsasz…or, at least, Tim thinks it does. There's been a string of near murders of sex workers in Crime Alley. Jason has been working on it for two weeks, but he's never caught anyone in the action. Jason came to Tim four nights ago to ask for help, which is very usual for Jason. Usually, he sends files and assumes Tim will help. Jason's case is Tim's number one priority. Zsasz is toying with people at the moment. It's only a matter of time before it turns into actual murder.

So, that is why he's currently working on his third night of no sleep. The importance of these cases, Jason's in particular, is also why Tim just lied (again) to Alfred and Bruce about his overall well-being. Again, Tim's not stupid. He knows Alfred and Bruce can see the bags under his eyes, the slump in his shoulders, and the copious amounts of empty energy drink cans and coffee mugs that littered his room. They didn't call him out on it, so they must believe it's not as bad as it really is. Alfred and Bruce leave the Cave, and Tim continues his work on the Batcomputer.

"Hey, any news on my case?"

Tim looks up and sees Jason sauntering in, his hood under his arm.

"Not much. I have some hunches," says Tim. "But nothing concrete yet."

Jason sighs.

"I'm trying, Jay." Tim mutters, feeling guilty.

Jason rolls his eyes. "I'm not mad at you, Timberly. The sigh is in general of the fucking suckiness of the situation, not directed at you."

"Still…I can't seem to crack this the way I want."

"Welcome to my world. Why do you think I asked for your help? You look like shit by the way."

Tim flips him off and then yawns, large and long.

"The fuck was that?" Jason asks.

Tim rolls his eyes. "A yawn, Jason. Surely you've experienced one."

Jason walks to Tim and smacks the back of his head. "Ass."

"You're the ass…ass." Tim replies.

"Now I know you're outta sorts. That was the lamest comeback." Jason says. "When's the last time you slept?"

"Yesterday." Tim lies.

Jason squints at him. "Yeah…and Alfred is the Queen of England."

"I'm fine."

Jason snorts and places his hand on Tim's forehead.

"I don't have a fever, Jason." says Tim, swatting at Jason's hands. Jason reaches down and tweaks Tim's left side. Tim immediately folds inward with a laugh.

"Too easy." Jason smirks as he continues scribbling his fingers along Tim's ribs and sides.

"Screw youhu!" Tim laughs, trying to catch Jason's hands as he squirms in the seat.

"I dunno, this seems like a good way to tire you out."

"Plehehease!" Tim is defenseless when it comes to tickling. It's like his brain decides to stop working, and all he can do is curl up and beg for mercy.

Jason spends a few more seconds poking and prodding along Tim's ribcage before he finally ceases his attack.

"I swear, you're the most ticklish person on the fuckin' planet." Jason is grinning smugly.

Tim knows he's got a goofy grin on his face, but he musters up a scowl regardless. "And I swear you're the biggest prick on the planet."

"Go to sleep, Tim. I know you're on at least day two of no sleep."

"As soon as I get some solid info on your case and finish my crap from WE, I will."

Jason squints at him. Tim thinks for a moment that his older brother is going to argue with him more. However, Jason shrugs his shoulders, waves a dismissive hand toward Tim, and then walks out of the Cave. Tim sighs in relief and turns back to the computer. He knows he's close to proving it's Zsasz behind the attacks. He'll definitely sleep once he proves it.

^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^

Tim proves it's Zsasz, but he does not sleep. There's no time. Bruce will be the one to help Jason with the takedown of Zsasz because he's a Tier-One Villain, and Batman isn't going to allow Red Hood to do it on his own nor allow Red Robin to be Hood's only backup. Tim put up a fight, arguing that he could at least help, especially considering it was Tim that figured it all out. He’s overruled by a simple ‘Hn’ from Bruce and a smirk from Jason. Tim spends the next day tracking down Ivy. Turns out, she was working the case as well. Tim corners her at a greenhouse in downtown Gotham.

"Of course, you're the one working this." Pamela says without taking her eyes off the plant, she's currently cultivating.

"Should I be offended by that statement?" Tim asks. Tim thinks that, although he's had a direct hand in a few of her arrests, they've at least worked together a few times in the past year to develop a good rapport.

Pam turns to look at him and rolls her eyes. "No. I was just hoping that perhaps the Bat would be here instead."

"He's finishing up with that Zsasz situation." Tim tells her. "So, you're stuck with me."

"Any leads?" She asks.

That's confirmation for Tim that Ivy isn't behind the plants.

"None." Tim replies.

Ivy hums in response.

"It's not any plant I've seen. I don't think it's even from Earth."

"Fan-freaking-tastic…" Tim sighs. This is just what he needs, a freaking alien plant. "Should probably get the Justice League on this if you think it's extraterrestrial."

Ivy doesn't look convinced. "Must we?"

"I think it's best, Dr. Isley. They're better equipped to find its origin and an antidote. I've been trying to make one myself, but it hasn't been as effective as I want."

Ivy sighs. "Fine. Can I ask you to keep me posted on how this shakes up? I've had a few too many dirty looks in my direction."

Tim nods. "Of course."

"Thanks, Little Bird."

Tom rolls his eyes. "I'm 17 now, you know."

Pam smiles at him with a bit of fondness in her eyes and walks away. "Yes, but you'll always be a Little Bird to me."

"Dr. Isley!" Tim calls. Pam halts and turns to look at him. "Don't let anyone look down on you, okay? Gothamites don't have the moral high ground most of the time."

Ivy simply smiles softly at him and leaves.

"Time to get a sample to JL." Tim mutters to himself as he harvests a few of the plants.

^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^

It's day six of less than four hours of sleep total, and it's actually starting to bother Tim. He's still so busy, though. The Justice League is taking care of the plant situation, Zsasz is in Arkham (with Jason nursing three broken ribs and a sprained wrist), and two of the three WE marketing packages are complete. However, not a single one of Tim's assignments is done, and Tim has two more cases to add to his workload. He's slumping over the desk in Bruce's office. He was kicked out of the Cave about an hour ago by Bruce, who apparently needed to have a meeting with Superman and Flash. Tim hopes it's about the plants, but he's unable to spy as he really needs to finish his schoolwork so he can start writing the reports from his previous cases. He's still trying to find the supplier for Cane, too. He’s minutes away from a full-blown migraine and typing mindlessly on the computer when he hears a knock on the door.

"Tim? You in there?" Dick's voice comes from the other side of the door.

Tim grunts in response.

Dick opens the door. "What're you doing in Bruce's office?"

"M'workin'." Tim winces at how slurred his speech is.

"On what?" Dick asks; he's behind Tim now, leaning over him and staring at the computer Tim's working on.

"School crap, some WE stuff, and a case or two."

"How’s it going?"

Tim shrugs.

"So, I’ve heard from a few birds you’re not sleeping much."

Tim lets his head fall to the desk as he groans. "Tell Jason to mind his own business."

Tim can hear the soft smile on Dick’s face. "It wasn’t just Jason."

Tim looks up at his older brother. "M’fine. I’ve gotten a few hours here and there."

Dick smiles that sad smile of his, which makes Tim feel like absolute shit.

"I’m fine Dick; I promise."

"I wish I could believe you," says Dick. "But you’ve got the worst truth-telling record in this family."

"What?! No way! Bruce holds that title, c’mon!" Tim practically shouts.

Dick seems to consider what Tim says. "Okay, second worst."

Tim scowls at him.

"Grayson, I--oh." Damian is suddenly in the room, scowling at Tim immediately. "Drake, you look terrible."

"No one asked for your opinion, Demon Brat." Tim responds, barely stopping himself from sticking his tongue out.

"Tt. Drake, this isn’t an insult. I do truly mean that you look terrible. When was the last time you slept? Also, are you ill?"

"You’re sick?" Dick’s voice is even more full of concern now.

"I’m not sick! I’m just a little tired." Tim sighs, rubbing his temples. The headache he’s been trying to stave off the last three days is significantly closer than just a few minutes ago.

"Headache, too?" Dick asks kindly.

"Yes, because you and the Baby Assassin are bothering me." Tim mumbles. There’s no real heat behind it.

"I loathe that name." Damian says.

Dick ruffles his hair, garnering a squawk from Damian. "It’s a term of endearment Dee. It means Timmy loves you."

Both Tim and Damian snort at the same time.

"Can I please finish my work?" Tim asks tiredly. He can feel a full-blown migraine coming on, and he thinks that he may be overdoing it somewhat.

"Uh…Tim? You’re not exactly making sense with your…work." Dick winces as he shows Tim the computer screen.

"Oh."

On the screen are just a bunch of letters and numbers all over the place.

Okay…maybe he really has pushed it too far.

"Will you please go to sleep?" Dick asks. He bends down in front of Tim, making himself eye level. Dick places a hand on Tim’s forehead, checking for a fever.

"I will as soon as I finish my school assignments." Tim semi-promises. Sleep doesn’t come as easy to Tim as it does to most people, especially once he’s this far gone.

Dick sighs, but stands and motions for Damian to follow him out.

"Drake…honestly." Damian sighs as he takes a look at Tim.

"Damian, I’m okay."

"Tt."

The door closes and Tim grabs another energy drink from the minifridge and downs it. With a shake of his aching head, Tim focuses on the work in front of him.

Three hours later, Tim’s completely engrossed on the last page of his paper for his English class when Bruce comes in. He looks surprised to see Tim.

"Oh, hey Tim. I didn’t know you were in here." Bruce says.

"You kicked me outta the Cave," Tim replies. "And I wanted to use your two monitors. I can leave if you need me to." Tim is rising as he says this, he stumbles a bit and Bruce is by his side with Tim’s elbow in his hand.

"Easy there, kiddo." Bruce soothes, helping Tim to sit back down. "I don’t mind you using my office. It’s free for you to use when you want. However, I do mind you almost falling for simply standing up. Are you injured?"

"No…I-I’m fine. Just been up a little longer than I should’ve, probably."

"He’s been up for six days." A, quite frankly, livid, voice says from the doorway. Tim’s head whips up and he sees Damian standing there, hands clenched into tight fists, and one of the angriest expressions Tim has ever seen gracing his face. Dick is behind him, and so is Jason, both looking angry and sad and exasperated all at the same time. Bruce looks shocked, which is saying something. He turns to look down at Tim.

"Is this true?"

Tim gulps, but isn’t able to say anything because Damian cuts across him. "Do not even attempt to lie. I looked at the security footage. You haven’t spent more than two hours at a time in any one room in this house, excluding the Cave. However, you haven’t slept there either because the Cave security footage hasn’t shown you sleeping at any point!"

"Damian…I-"

Damian raises a hand to stop Tim. "I don’t want to hear it. You may have no forethought to your health and wellbeing, but others do. And if you are going to insist on attempting to take yourself away from us earlier than what is the normal lifespan of an adult male in America, then you’re going to do so fighting me. And with the current state you’re in, it’d be an even more pathetic fight than when you’re in full form."

Jason places a hand on Damian’s shoulder, which Tim expects him to throw off. However, Damian doesn’t. In fact, it looks like it anchors their youngest sibling.

"Honestly Tim, six days? Even for you that’s excessive." Jason says.

"Bed." Bruce demands. It’s not his Batman voice. It’s not even his angry voice. It’s the voice he uses when he won’t budge. It’s the voice he uses when he’s in meetings and flexing his full CEO authority. It’s the voice he learned from Alfred. It’s the voice he uses when there’s no room for argument.

Tim tries anyway, though, because he has no sense of self-preservation. "Bruce I need to finish my homework, I--"

"You have a death wish, Timmy." Dick sighs.

"You can go to sleep on your own, or I can administer something to help. That is the only choice you’re going to receive for the next several days." Bruce states. Now he sounds (and looks) angry. Tim knows he’s pushing it…has pushed it. He does. He just…there’s so much he needs to do. And Bruce can’t seriously be trying to ground him.

"You can’t ground me, Bruce, I’m 17-"

"You can go to sleep on your own or I can administer something to help." Bruce says it quietly, but Tim hears and sees the fury simmering there.

Tim swallows again; he looks to his two older siblings and knows there will be no help. Jason looks exasperated beyond all reason. Dick looks like Tim just kicked his dog and then set his house on fire. He doesn’t have to look at Damian to know he looks exactly like Bruce.

He’s lost. He knows he’s lost.

"I…I may need some help." Tim admits quietly, feeling his face heat up extensively.

Bruce’s fury melts a bit at that. "I’ll have Alfred make the tea."

"He’s got a headache, too. Add some acetaminophen. We’ll get him to bed, Bruce." Dick says. He reaches for Tim and helps steer him out of the room and to the stairs. Jason and Damian follow.

"You don’t have to follow me; I’m seriously going to go to my room." Tim tells them.

"Tt. Your word on this matter means very little."

"Sorry, Baby Bird. I agree with Baby Bat." Jason tells Tim. "You’ve seriously crossed the line this time."

Tim hangs his head in shame.

"Not now guys." Dick retorts rather sharply. Tim doesn’t deserve Dick’s kindness.

"M’sorry." Tim tells them as they reach his room. "I didn’t mean for it to go on this long. Honestly."

Dick shushes him as he looks for some pajamas.

"No. Seriously. I didn’t…I don’t mean to…" Tim can feel the tears welling in his eyes. It’s frustrating beyond reason.

"Get dressed, and get in bed, Timmers." Dick presses a kiss to the top of his head as he and the others walk out.

Tim does as he’s told. The tears spill onto his cheeks. He knows he’s truly screwed everything up. Everyone is furious with him. He can only imagine the lecture he’s going to get from Alfred. He’s not just going to be grounded; he’s going to be benched permanently. If he can’t be trusted to sleep like a normal human being, he definitely can’t be trusted out in the field. His head starts pounding even harder, and he stumbles into his bed with his knees curled into his stomach.

"Tim?" Bruce is walking in, but Tim is trying really hard to get air into his lungs. He feels Bruce grab his shoulders and set him into a sitting position. One of Bruce’s hands grabs his and places it on the older man’s chest, right over his heart. The other hand grabs the back of Tim’s neck, resting there lightly.

"Breathe with me, kiddo."

Tim tries his hardest to focus on the beating of Bruce’s heart, of the movement of his chest rising and falling. Bruce squeezes his hand very exhale, trying to anchor him, Tim assumes. It takes some time, but eventually Tim’s breathing slows and returns to normal. It has been almost a year since Tim last had a panic attack. He forgot how much they suck.

"Whatever you’re thinking," says Bruce. "I promise isn’t true. No one is going to kick you out, no one is going to fire you, and no one hates you or is mad at you."

"Damian is both of those last things. And you’re all mad. I get it." Tim replies.

Bruce hands him the steaming mug of drugged tea. If Tim knows Alfred as well as he thinks he does, there’s definitely a high dose of sleeping aid in the tea. Tim sips it at first, but downs it quickly, feeling it burn his throat.

"Slow down there, Tim." Bruce chastises. "You don’t need to punish yourself."

"I just wanna go to bed." Tim tells his adopted father. Bruce looks at him with those sad eyes of his, making Tim feel a million times worse, which is really saying something because he feels like dog shit.

"Sweetheart, c’mere." Bruce climbs into the bed and lifts up his arm, offering Tim to snuggle in, which the boy does. "We’re mad, yes. We’re mad that you seem to be unable to take care of yourself properly. We’re mad that you always push yourself too far. We’re mad that we don’t catch it quick enough to help. But we’re not mad at you in the sense that is going through your head. We all love you."

Tim wants to believe it.

"Not even Damian doesn’t hate you."

Tim snorts.

"He doesn’t." Bruce insists, digging his fingers into Tim’s ribs. Tim gasps and laughs as Bruce doesn’t let up.

"Stahap!" Tim begs. Tim is seriously ticklish on his ribs; it’s one of his worst spots, and Bruce knows it.

Bruce chuckles fondly as he brings both hands to Tim’s ribcage. Tim is letting out some serious giggles now. He’s trying to fight against Bruce, but the tea is setting in, and Tim’s not the most coordinated person when tickled.

"Promise to sleep and not stay up for six days straight ever again?" Bruce asks, not ceasing his tickle attack. He digs his fingers in between the bones of Tim’s ribs.

"Yehehes! I-I prohohomise!" Tim gets out, squirming madly. It tickles so damn much!

Bruce finally stops tickling. Tim sags into Bruce’s side while he rubs his ribs to get rid of the residual tickly feelings.

"You’re too good at that." Tim tells him.

Bruce kisses the top of his head. "You’re too easy. I think you may be more ticklish than Damian."

Now that was interesting information.

"Damian is ticklish?!"

Bruce winces. "I don’t think I was supposed to mention that."

"Oh th-thaaaat--" Tim cuts himself off with a loud yawn.

"Bed." Bruce says, pressing another kiss against the top of Tim’s head. "No worrying either, we can talk tomorrow about better ways to keep yourself healthy."

"G’night, dad." Tim whispers, already falling asleep.

"Good night, son."

^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^ ^^

When Tim wakes up, he’s dazed and confused. The sun is gone and his clock tells him it’s nine at night.

"It’s been 18 hours, Drake."

Tim whips his head and sees Damian sketching in the armchair next to his bed.

"What?"

"You slept for 18 hours," Damian repeats, sounding thoroughly annoyed. "Pennyworth has a plate of dinner waiting for you when you are ready to eat."

Tim scrubs a hand down his face. "Eighteen hours, huh?"

"With the amount of stress you put on your body, I am shocked you didn’t sleep longer."

"Yeah…wasn’t my best plan I guess."

"Tt. Consider it your worst. That is saying something, too, as you usually have terrible plans." There’s no real heat behind Damian’s words. The two of them have grown a lot since Damian first came. They respect one another now. They work pretty well together, too. Their form of communication may look especially harsh to an outsider, but to them, it’s brotherly banter.

Tim rolls his eyes. "Pretty sure I was the one who took down Zsasz earlier this week."

Damian looks at him. "Father and Todd took him down."

"Physically, maybe. But it was me who found out everything. So, if you think about it, it was all of my plans that took him down."

"Tt. In your dreams, Drake."

Tim moves to sit on the side of his bed. "Hey."

Damian looks at him once more. "What?"

"I’m sorry for scaring you," Tim apologizes. "I didn’t mean to."

Damian replies stiffly, "I was not scared. I was mad at your stupidity."

"I’m sorry for making you mad, then."

Damian scowls deeply at him. "Do you realize the stress you put on others when you pull these types of stunts? We have enough stress without others adding to it with idiotic decisions. You need to better care for yourself. You aren’t a machine, Drake, and you’re not alone. There are others in this family that could’ve taken a case or two. Furthermore, you hate school, so I do not understand your need to finish assignments you don’t care about."

Tim feels really bad.

"I didn’t do it on purpose, if that helps." Tim tells his little brother. "I get…focused, I guess. I know you guys can help me, I just…I dunno. I feel like I can do it better, I suppose. That’s really narcissistic of me, I know."

Damian only scowls further. "You aren’t a narcissist; you’re an idiot. There’s a difference."

"How many more times are you going to call me an idiot?" Tim asks, a wry smile on his face.

"As many times as it takes." Damian smirks.

Tim rolls his eyes this time. He stands and squats in front of the chair so he’s eye level with Damian. "I won’t do it again."

"Tt."

Tim places a hand on Damian’s shoulder. "I promise, Damian."

Damian looks at Tim now. "You…you are important to this family."

"Does that include you?" Tim teases.

Damian shoves Tim’s hand off his shoulders. "Ugh. I’m finished with this sappy moment. I’m leaving."

Domain tries to stand to leave, but Tim is feeling much better after his sleep, and he’s in a mischievous mood, so he grabs Damian around the waist and pulls him into a hug.

"Drake! Unhand me!"

"We have to hug, Demon," says Tim. "Dickie will be upset if we don’t."

Damian is squirming furiously as he attempts to free himself from Tim’s grip. "Grayson isn’t even here!"

"He could walk in any minute, though. I wanna make sure we do him proud!" Tim squeezes tighter, causing Damian to yelp. It reminds Tim of what Bruce told him before he fell asleep.

Tim smiles deviously. "I heard some interesting information about you from Bruce." Tim places his hands on Damian’s sides with his fingers curled in, an evil grin growing as he feels Damian instantly still.

"Drake…" It’s a warning, but Tim isn’t concerned.

"Damian."

"Whatever Father told you, h-he was clearly lying!" Damian still doesn’t move, and Tim knows it’s because every movement would tickle with the way Tim’s hands are positioned.

"Bruce lies at times," Tim concedes. "But I don’t think he was lying about this. Tell me, Dee, are you ticklish?"

Damian’s eyes go wide. "N-No! Of c-course not!"

"Bruce said you were."

"He lied!"

Tim shrugs his shoulders, pretending to give up. However, the moment Damian relaxes, Tim tosses the smaller boy on the bed and pounces, immediately tickling Damian’s stomach.

"DRAKE!" Damian absolutely screeches. Tim knows he’s going to die after this, but he’s okay with it. Damian succumbs to laughter rather quickly. He has such a cute laugh, sounding and looking like the 12-year-old he is.

"Bruce was right!" Tim crows. He scrabbles all 10 of his fingers all around Damian’s belly. The closer he gets to Damian’s sides and ribs, the louder his laughter gets, and the more he squirms. Damian seems to be like Tim, though, and super uncoordinated when tickled because Tim is still alive and breathing. Damian is swearing like a sailor at him, but that’s about it.

"What the fuck is going on in--oh…now this is good."

Tim looks at the doorway, not pausing his tickly assault on Damian’s torso, and sees Jason with the biggest grin on his face that Tim’s ever seen.

"T-Tohohodd! I r-require assISTANCE!" Damian squeals out the last part of the word as Tim shoots his arms to Damian’s underarms.

"I think Timmy requires my assistance," Jason’s grin turns more shark-like. "How did I not know you were ticklish, Baby Bat?"

Damian doesn’t answer. He’s too busy holding his middle as best he can, laughter pouring out of his mouth. His heels are drumming against the bed, and Tim is grinning widely himself. He’s never heard Damian laugh like this before.

"Are you guys killing Damian?" Dick enters the room next. "Oh…you’re just tickling him. Try his neck next, Timmy. That’s his death spot."

"GRAYHAYSON!" Damian shrieks as Tim lightly pinches at the back of Damian’s neck. Damian’s laughter goes high pitched. "T-TIM, pleheHEASE!"

It went on for two more minutes before Dick rescues Damian by telling Tim to stop. Tim moves off Damian and grins down at the panting boy. "You called me by my name."

Damian pants for another few seconds, a silly grin on his face. It doesn’t last long, though, because he soon scowls fiercer than Tim’s ever seen and then jumps at Tim. Dick catches him around the middle and holds Damian away from Tim.

"Let me go, Grayson! I will have my revenge!"

"Sorry Dames, but Tim needs to eat. He needs to sleep after that, again--don’t look at me like that, Tim--and you need to get ready for patrol."

Damian flips Tim off but stops struggling against Dick’s hold. Dick sets him down and grins. "Everyone’s ticklish, Damian. If you can imagine it, Tim’s probably more ticklish than you."

"Dick!" Tim throws his oldest brother a betrayed look.

"Oh definitely. The kid’s ribs are like a 10 on the Richter scale," Jason adds. "One poke to his ribs has him swearing his first born to you. He’s deathly ticklish on his ribs."

"Jason!" Tim throws the same betrayed look to his immediate older brother.

"Sorry, little brother. It’s true." Dick laughs.

Tim looks at Damian and gulps. Damian looks smug. No, he looks worse than smug. He looks like he’s plotting.

"Damian…I-I’m so sorry. It won’t happen again!" Tim has his hands up.

"Oh, I know it won’t. I’ll ensure the lesson you learn will keep you from making that mistake ever again."

"Oh! Are we going to tickle Tim next?" Dick asks. "It’s been a while!"

"You asshats are gonna leave me alone!" Tim warns. "Remember, I have lots of pictures that I can release on the internet at a moment’s notice."

"He’s bluffing." Jason snorts. "He won’t post them on the internet, Bruce would kill him."

Damian’s smirk grows.

"I’m totally in on this plan, though," Jason continues. "Tickling Tim till he forgets his own damn name sounds like fun."

Tim feels his stomach flip flop with excitement and trepidation. He’s never been teamed up against like that and has no clue what it’ll feel like, but he has a feeling he’s about to find out.

"What about you, Grayon? Will you join in my revenge?" Damian asks.

Tim sends a pleading look to Dick.

"Well…he really needs to eat." Dick says. Tim sighs in relief. "But I suppose he can wait another half hour or so."

"Half hour?! The fu-NO! Nohoho!"

Tim doesn’t do much more than laugh for quite some time.

#kourtni writes things #tim drake #ticklish!tim #jason todd #damian wayne #dick grayson #ticklish!damian #batman #batfam #batman fic #batfamily fic #tickling

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