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#I make him so romantically poetic all the time
lady-buggerinton · 3 days
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My Top Five Polin Scenes in Part One (and why!)
My darling gossipers, so far this show is making literally all of my hopeless romantic dreams for this couple come true and who knows what kind of angst and drama were in for in part two, so before things gets too real I just wanted to go into (too much) depth on my favorite scenes and a few swoon-worthy details from part one! *whips reigns on carriage* shall we?
5. Drawing Room Lesson/Journal
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Pen's brain: TOUCH ALERT! HIS HAND IS ON MY BACK.
This scene is so best friend coded with the way they are bantering and flirting the whole time. There's an adorable contrast between Penelope's fear of being discovered and Colin being like it's chill!(when in fact it is not Chill because they get interrupted after 5 minutes of gazing into each others eyes)
He just clearly wanted to be completely alone and behind closed doors platonically with his very beautiful friend (who looks like an angel in this scene) to pretend they are courting. Nothing suspicious about that!
I love how he's so into the lesson to the point that he has set out the lemonade as a prop and brought her to Bridgerton house in the first place specifically because she said it was where she was most comfortable (previously, but he's doing his best, and probably hoping she will become comfortable again, ouch)
Colin being the "dashing suitor" for her to flirt with (loser) and when she's resistant to fake flirting with him he hits her with the, "you don't have to be embarrassed, you know me!" trying to put her at ease. And he succeeds! Penelope is so comfortable during this scene when she's opening up about how it's hard for her to get her personality across, it's so sweet and honest.
And this is when the ROMANCING really starts, I love how it's Penelope who takes the lead here. mostly by accident, but the poor man is still left in shambles.
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I do kind of wish for this scene they had gone with a more back and forth flirting moment, and seen them both get a little taste of how overtly flirting with each other would feel rather than her little poetic moment, but it was sweet to see her expose a corner of her feelings for him and watching him get a tad flustered at the compliment.
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Ok, while it was rather uncool of her to read his journal, I love this part so much. Because I am no better, I would 100 percent do this given the chance. Her examining the space where he spends time, her running her hand over his pirate coat, (who wouldn't) the quiet yearning of that action. As a snoop myself, this was wish fulfillment.
Penelope being hit with a confusing mix of jealousy and intrigue by the contents of the journal entry, the way she stops reading for just a second and then gives in and devours his writing, not being able to hold back from getting inside his head. Don't think about how she probably missed his letters.
Colin's anger here is warranted, and I liked how he didn't come across as aggro-angry Colin from the books but is still justifiably upset that his privacy has been violated. He is likely aware that there are certain DETAILS he wouldn't want her to be reading, like how he's a lonely lonely sad little man trying to be rakish and roguish because his beautiful platonic friend isn't writing him back and encouraging him like she usually does.
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Can I just mention that bandaging a wound is an excellent trope and it's such a good romancing vehicle: the care, the tenderness, the touching! the GRUMPINESS! But my favorite thing about the wound bandaging is his reaction to her complimenting his work, of which he hasn't shown ANYONE. He's just so shocked that she likes it, and clearly starved for her encouragement/anyone to be interested in his travels.
I think its also worth noting that this is THE moment that Colin thinks back to when he's considering activating his chaos tendencies by rolling up to the red ball to interrupt her proposal, so I'm gonna interpret that as him recalling his first realization/admittance to himself that he has feelings for her beyond friendship.
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It wouldn't surprise me since it is after this moment that we see the hints of jealousy start to manifest at the full moon ball (looking for her, asking her if she likes a suitor, he's not subtle with it). Can't blame him, he was just touched with intimacy and care, and told his creative outlet is well-written, he is being ROMANCED to the max and he can't handle it.
We also have our first "please" as Pen asks to help, and as we will see, these two can't say no to each other once the magic word is spoken! I hope this theme makes a comeback in part two (please please please)
4. Market Scene
ok, besides a semi-silly looking wig on Colin (reshoots) this scene is first of all, so beautiful.
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SHE IS SO FINE IN THIS SCENE I CAN'T EVEN THINK. She looks like a preraphaelite painting and I'm gnawing at the bars of my enclosure.
I literally kept saying "wow" out loud. It actually makes the scene very silly to me because she keeps talking about how she'll never snag a husband and I'm over here on one knee begging for a chance.
If Penelope has been Colin's cheerleader and #1 supporter for their whole friendship, this is where that flips. This scene is all about Pen feeling dejected about her prospects and Colin trying to lift her spirits -basically by saying she doesn't need to work on anything because he already likes her so much without her doing anything but I digress!
There is nothing hotter than your crush talking about a shared memory! Literally nothing! You can see her absolutely light up here when he talks about their first meeting like "I can't believe he remembered" and "Shit, I'm trying to not be in love" and it makes me ache for her.
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I am very sad we didn't get a meet cute flashback (hello romcom!!) but this was the next best thing. He's also definitely still in Rake Mode with the way he is being charming and flirty, but there is a core of genuine feeling here as he is trying to get her find her confidence and be more like the non-self conscious children they once were. I believe a lot of the rift between them was directly because she had such strong feelings for him and couldn't just connect with him as friends due to the pedestal she put him on, this scene shows that without that as a barrier, they are able to connect much more naturally.
"Living for the estimation of others is a trap, once you break free the world opens up," he says, and he's starting to realize this idea but hasn't quite put it into practice. I think seeing Penelope struggling to be something she's not, just like he is, shows him how it's not working for either of them. This I think kickstarts his self-reflection and eventual rejection of external pressures later on, leaving him open to pursue other passions.
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Ok but what I LOVE most in this scene is his subtle digging for information about her that she isn't forthcoming with. He asks her why she wants a husband and where she feels most comfortable, peppering her with questions and also giving her zero personal space. He's very curious about her and what is going on inside, but she's not exactly open with him at this point, giving short and simple answers.
She's genuinely not used to someone asking her this many questions about herself, receiving this kind of devoted attention, and she clearly doesn't know quite how to respond. In fact, the dynamic has always been reversed, where she was encouraging and inquiring about him, so this switch is just excellent. there have been little moments throughout the series where he asks about her and she always seems to deflect to talking more about him, so it's nice to see this shift.
Also fun detail, the grecian statues behind them are a little nod to the eros and psyche vibes of the scene as cupid is trying to find a match for his psyche, but is slowly beginning to fall for her, his curiosity the first step towards total downfall.
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When he asks about Eloise is where Pen just completely shuts down and says she has to leave, and the "before we are noticed" with the little smile? I have fallen in love. She's clearly using that as an excuse to dodge the question, and it is almost an inside joke, sadly. As if she's saying "No one would believe you are courting me anyway haha". And yet he's clearly bummed she's leaving, he was having such a good time, and she leaves him hanging, wanting to know more. I also absolutely love the Rae side eye, lethal!
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3. Candy Tent
Post-kiss insanity is on full display here. The way she beckons him with a sexy head tilt and he came running, the way his hands give away his nervousness and his eyes keep locking on her helplessly. Just FULL ON crush mode. The soft "How are you?" he missed her!
Also outfits are incredible here, the pearls in the hair, the painted vest, Colin inventing the color brown, it's a rococo dream. The plushy pink of the tent, the ambiance, everything is just in a word: sumptuous? never used that but it feels right here.
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Pen's giddiness here is just adorable, she's experiencing blatant interest for the first time and I couldn't be happier for her. But someone else is very peeved, indeed. He's trying to play the part of supportive friend while also just kind of feeling a lot of "confounding feelings"
The way he is trying to be so casual and attempting to keep up his swagger, but his true feelings are showing through BAD kind of harkens back to how Pen would interact with Colin in s1 and 2, with barely contained affection and hope. The script has been FLIPPED and it feels so good!!
I literally squeal every time he asks her if she's formed an attachment to Debling, this is the shit I signed up for!! Her saying Debling is not "unpleasant to gaze upon" and watching Colin just completely glitch out with jealousy. He's like AND WHAT ABOUT ME! Must be frustrating to be the most eligible bachelor of the season, and yet your very beautiful crush friend is complementing another man on his looks. When your crush expresses interest in someone it can be truly insanity inducing, so I feel for him here.
Pen is oblivious completely, she doesn't think any of what she is saying is negatively affecting him, in fact she thinks this news will make him happy! His lessons worked, she didn't care about being perceived and it is having the desired affect! and yet, he's miserable. Mission accomplished unsuccessfully if you will.
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He does ALMOST a good job of hiding his feelings, but if Pen were not completely convinced he couldn't have feelings for her, I think she would've picked up on the vibes here. He's way less enthusiastic about the lessons, and is giving fairly curt responses, when before he was yapping on about being yourself and such.
Then of course the blatant staring at her mouth, being the yearning sort of man he is and likely recalling their kiss in detail, reminder it's been at least a week since. She's romancing him without even trying. It also makes sense for "food motivated" Colin to have Penelope + cake equals critical override of his facial expressions and his literally standing there slack-jawed with lust.
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His soft "good luck", when she leaves and the fact that he doesn't mean it AT ALL.
I've seen it talked about, but it makes a lot of sense that Penelope wasn't as affected by the kiss as he was. I'm sure she enjoyed it, but for her the kiss was an end (more on that later) and for him it was the moment he admitted his feelings (which were already growing slowly). so it makes sense the yearning is very colin-sided in this scene.
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Apart from the yearning, it's also just sweet to see them in cahoots and discussing this development with Debling like its a little group project, and its the perfect scene to show Down Bad Colin, and I love it. She also clearly wants him to share with her in her success, still wanting to be close to him in any way she can, which if I think about too much I'll cry.
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Bonus points for him eating the cake later on, such an intimate detail, he just wants to be close to her in any way he can. CRIMINAL! ARREST HIM!
2. First kiss/Dream Sequence
Ok I'm combining these scenes because they happen back to back and sort of like a mirror of each other, sue me. This first kiss scene is, as Whistledown says, RECKLESS. It's nonsensical, it's desperate, and it's beautiful.
This scene has only improved upon rewatches, it really has everything. Best kiss scene on Bridgerton and possibly in anything ever? no doubt no doubt?
The silly back and forth on the "You're not going to die" and the way she doesn't back down when he seems to get embarrassed, but instead says what? The Magic Word! "Please" she says, which of course is both of their activation word. His expressions here definitely mirror the book, where as soon as she asks him to kiss her, he's a bit taken aback by how much he realizes he wants to already.
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This is such a low moment for Penelope, and it's one parts embarrassing and two parts brave of her to ask him to kiss her. In her position, she doesn't even have her pride left, so why not ask the boy you love to kiss you? nothing will come of it anyway, and he probably won't even do it, so why not ask? And what are friends for!
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then the moment comes, and the music swells, as does the tension as he closes the distance between them, her shocked face and shallow breaths as she realizes its actually going to happen, the way he lifts her face to his with his hand under her chin. It's just pure romance. and this thing between them, this space that has never been crossed, is being crossed, and it feels insane. reckless. intimate!!
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What I love is the shot that focuses on his face after they deepen the kiss, he's intent and confused by how good this feels, how little like kindness this is for him as soon as their lips touch. Like we will see later, he just kind of mind-blanks and forgets what is happening.
Whatever he thought they were has just crumbled with this kiss, and he leans his forehead against hers, no awkwardness when there is such tenderness. which is why he's so shook when she whispers "thank you", and rushes off. he's like "wait why is she thanking me? where am I? weren't we doing something here?" The hopeful strings as it focuses on his dumbstruck face, the earth literally shifting under his feet in that moment. UNREAL.
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THE DREAM: I won't say a lot about the dream sequence but I just had to throw it in here because it shows how aligned they are romantically. They are both HUGE romantics, and he has orchestrated this sort of do-over kiss where he's really going for it and proving to her that he wants this too, he wants her. And she's enjoying herself, clearly, which we know is something Colin wants more than anything. It's a great way to show his inner feelings with the lack of an inner monologue that a book brings. And this is clearly a sort of parody of Bridgerton itself, or at least the books. It's over the top, a little silly, and exactly what we all want to see.
This dream also isn't just ripping off clothes, it's emotional, a key element is him expressing how he's been thinking about her, consumed by her. This kiss also isn't as innocent and patient as the first kiss, and it's full of Reciprocation, she can't stop thinking about him either. AND NEITHER CAN I!!!
Both of these kiss scenes also set up our contrasting feelings, where Pen views their first kiss as an end of a dream, a bittersweet act to finally let go off him, the dream of him. And then his dream shows the opposite, how she's ignited something in him that begins his dream of her, awake and asleep. Dream-swap! Also the hand on the wall behind her to catch her from hitting the wall. no comment.
1. Carriage Scene
Yeah like what can I say! It's incredible! I honestly have no idea how they can top this scene, but honestly if this is the best love scene they share in the season I am 10000% content. All of my little qualms with how they did the season melt away when I watch this scene because this was what was crucial to nail and they NAILED IT. TO THE WALL BABY. YAY.
And how did he gain access to the carriage (and Penelope)?? by saying please!! we love the magic word!! I do like the confession a lot, especially the "what if I did have feelings for you?" and the way he gets to his KNEES, a truly inspired moment.
How he completely dies inside when she says they are friends, and still accepts it with grace. There were SO many obstacles to him expressing his feelings to her this night, and he just red rovered each one, and we are all very grateful.
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Something about this scene is just built different, I like a lot of the love scenes in the show, but this one has some kind of secret ingredient that we didn't know we'd been missing. Maybe its the location, the context, the way they are just grasping at each other desperately (which if you think about how Penelope thought this was a one time thing in the books and she wanted to make the most of it, actually don't think about that)
He's also just so sweet about it, he's not angry, or insistent, he's just honest and intent. and she's just bewildered and INTO IT.
The lightning is gorgeous, the way it looks like Penelope is catching on fire and glowing. the catharsis, the giving into passion. The way she smiles like her dreams are coming true (because they are) before he just completely attacks her. What else can I say but EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
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so many of the kisses are so tender and gentle, and they just build and build and build in intensity as they get lost in each other.
on a more horny note, so many moments here actually make me physically roll my eyes back in my head with how insane they make me. The desperate boob grab, the consensual nod, the way his hand slips under her dress, they were truly so insane for this. something tells me they knew I've waited literal years for this, so they knew they had to make it good.
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Someone said Nicola should get an Emmy nom for moans, and she should, somehow they don't come across as cartoonish at all, and it doesn't take me out of the scene like some "noise making" does in these types of scenes. and for the record I'm not jealous at all, of either of them. in fact, no sooner did my head hit the pillow that I was met with complete and total darkness....not even a dream....
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Like everything I could say has already been said, but it was so much better than I thought it was going to be, blew my expectations out of the water and DELIVERED. and DEVOURED. and RUINED ME. AND I AM VERY GRATEFUL.
Anyway that's all, I'm very afraid for part two so I needed some escapism, why am I already nostalgic for the good ol' times when Polin was happy for 6 minutes. thanks for reading! <3
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misc-obeyme · 23 days
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Hey cc
So in the vampire pop quiz I think it was Dia who said something very interesting "looks like they are fixated on mc because mc is the manifestation of their desires" now that did align well with my effort to understand why would all 7 of them be this obsessed lol
Anyway in my head mc goes like guys that's just my idea of how a proper human should be lol pretty sure if any other human ended up here who kinda like hot demons you all would be obsessed about that human too
Anyway, can I request a drabble about this kind of mc not insecure, just not understanding why mc deserving all this attention
Barb would be interesting to drabble about this since it took him sooooo looooong to open up to mc a bit
happy to see you are still having fun with Barbs thirst trap 😎
-🐆
Hi there, 🐆 anon! I apologize for the delay on this - it's been taking me a little longer than I anticipated to get through the drabble requests...
Augh the Barbatos shower picture is going to be the death of me, I swear. I'm still thinking about a nsfw drabble based on one of his lines lkasdfkjfj it's a problem, I swear.
Anyway, here's a Barb drabble with MC not getting why the demons are obsessed with them! I thought it was a cute little scenario. And Barb is just being super romantic as always lol. I can't help it, I am but a humble fluff writer.
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Barbatos could see it on your face - a subtle expression that the others might not pick up on. It told him the story of how you were trying your best to hide your own confusion. It was something that happened every time one of the brothers complimented you, when they fought over you, when they expressed this need to always be near you. A slight furrow of your brow, the tiniest downturn of your lips, the fleeting uncertainty that flashed through your eyes.
Ever since your first day in the Devildom, Barbatos had seen this look. He was always watching you. The more he did, the more it became clear to him that you didn't understand why everyone seemed to think there was something special about you.
Perhaps he waited too long. Perhaps he should have mentioned it to you sooner. But you didn't seem distressed. All he ever saw was bafflement. So he let it be for quite some time. Until he finally found himself alone with you when it displayed itself.
Barbatos had been pouring you a cup of tea as he heard about the brothers' latest antics. You were telling him that they had been arguing over who got to work with you on an upcoming school project.
"And then Levi got involved and I had to calm everybody down before Lotan was summoned," you said.
You were looking down at the table, your mind clearly elsewhere, when that expression flashed across your face.
Barbatos put down the teapot. "Does it make you uncomfortable, MC? When they argue over you this way?"
You met his eyes, seemingly startled by his question. "No," you said. "It's a little silly, but it doesn't make me uncomfortable. Why do you ask?"
"It's only that I've noticed the look of confusion you sometimes have in moments like these," Barbatos said. "As if there's something that troubles you about it."
You frowned in thought for a moment. "I guess I just don't understand why they care so much? Why do they think I deserve this much attention? I just act like a regular human would. Why are they so… obsessed?"
Barbatos chuckled. "Do you truly not see? This is exactly what makes you so fascinating."
"I don't know what you mean," you said.
"Despite being a totally unique individual, you still believe you are ordinary," Barbatos said gently. "I have been alive for a long time, MC. I have met many humans. No two are alike. You are not 'regular' because there is no such thing. You are yourself and that is why we love you."
Barbatos was pleased to see that confused look replaced by a soft blush. "You…?" you couldn't finish your question.
Barbatos took your hand and kissed the back of it. "Indeed," he said. "Even I have fallen under your spell. I will remind you of how special you are for the rest of your life if I must."
You laughed, a little taken aback. "I don't think that's going to be necessary."
Barbatos only smiled, your hand still clasped in his. He was content to see such a soft and sweet expression on your face, a glint of happiness in your eyes. Despite what you said, if he ever did see that confusion there again, he would do everything he could to bring your smile back instead.
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masterlist | Thank you for reading!
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cementcornfield · 15 days
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Joe ultimately sacrificed his knee for Ja'Marr Chase
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full---ofstarlight · 1 month
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thinking of sol saying goodbye to dys before he leaves to join the gardeners (again) and she's somber about it but not sad because the two of them know that they'll meet again (in the next life, and the life after and the life after) and maybe it won't be the same the next time but they both know they're not ever going to be apart and it was always going to go this way, but it is always going to go this way, and no matter what they'll find each other (again and again and again(and again and again and again)) even if it's not the same (it's never the same (it's always the same))
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a-story-teller · 1 month
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Had another dream story idea and it's BAD out here y'all. My subconscious said "you don't go for sad old white men yaoi? Well here's one and you have to care about it so much. Good luck"
#the braiiiin worms#The surrounding story was very good lotr asoiaf 80's fantasy epic and then there were these two dudes just So Achingly In Love oh my GOD#Basically they had been knights together back in the day during their own Young Men Do Big Things story and deposed the evil mage king#They were just village boys turned soldiers who fell in love and did something good#but then the one was basically forced to become king because he'd killed the last one and had to get married and produce an heir#So he does get married but tells the queen he's never going to sleep w her and she can fuck who she likes and her kids can have the throne#Since he's not even nobility he doesn't care about The Bloodline#His lover is promoted to “protector of the king” 👀 and they manage to be happy despite the restrictions of royal life#Eventually though it comes out that the king's kids aren't his#And this sparks a conflict between “loyalists” who want the True King's Legacy and the “monarchists” who want Real Noble Lineage#With the queen basically standing back and watching it happen as the crown prince decides now is a great time to try “patricide”#the lover finds the king's nephew (the loyalists' heir) and tells the guard to take him to distant family to raise until he's old enough#But the guard is like “he's gonna get found out in no time” so instead sells him to ppl who find exotic kids for nobles to keep as wards#and he basically disappears into a faraway household and the lover doesn't even know#Meanwhile the king survives a poison attempt but is now physically impaired and on high alert#He leaves with a small retinue to Do Some Business but when he comes back the castle gates are up and arrows start raining down#So it's him and his little group at the edge of a market vs. an entire castle#In the ambush/battle he is seriously wounded#and they try to fake his death to get back in the castle and then nurse him/sneak him out#But the prince doesn't take it at face value and stabs the “body” to make sure#and the lover has to act through watching his all-but-husband who'd just planned their escape from all this get killed in front of him#So that it doesn't blow his cover and get him killed too#That's about where the dream ended but I'm uggg g h gg#I'm SO invested in these two fantasy gays and their incredibly poetic relationship#Doesn't hurt that there were like 3 very graphic sex scenes between them across the timeline#And they were so obsessed with and hungry for each other the whole time.... the last one was just before the ambush#after the king has been left near-immobile from the poison and they're like 40-something#and the lover takes him away from all that and back to the days it was just them and he was strong#It was sooo romantic but also hell when can I get ravaged like that#Anyway I'm ruined and I can't even really work on it I have too many other things to do
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confused-lover · 2 months
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All The Hugs
Character x reader / Platonic!Ortho x reader Summary: How the characters would hug you Warnings: None (that I can think) (english is not my first language)
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Riddle Rosehearts: Oh man, he would be so awkward, like, if you are not in an already established relationship he couldn't even hug you. He'd let you hug him but would be stiff as a board.
Ace Trappola: Would totally yank you in and squeeze you so hard but it'll last a maximum of 5 seconds. If you want it to last more you gotta stay wrapped around him, he’ll give in. Hopefully.
Deuce Spade: He’d wrap his arms around your shoulders but he won't press his body to yours, my boy is too respectful. If you don’t care about “decency” and hug him properly he’ll blush like no one’s business. 
Cater Diamond: I totally see him hugging your waist and swaying just a bit. If he's feeling cheeky he’d snap a photo so quick you wouldn't even notice until you see it posted on Magicam an hour later.
Trey Clover: He’d be so normal about it. Just a normal hug. Thanks the seven for the one sane dude here.
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Leona Kingscholar: No hug. You either snuggle in bed or you give up. But those cuddles, man are they good, you two stay like that for a minimum of 2 hours. The maximum does not exist. If you don’t get out of there yourself, you’ll never leave.
Jack Howl: Also a normal hug, he just wraps his arms around you and stays like that for a time, I see him probably taking in your scent but that’s about it. Please don’t mention the helicopter that is his tail. Please. 
Ruggie Bucchi: You hug him and he pickpockets you, that's it, nothing else to say. Sorry.
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Azul Ashengrotto: Just from the hug you know a business proposal is coming. I don't know how he does it but he hugs so professionally. If he’s feeling very romantic tho it’ll all be really slow. He’d remove his glasses and nearly hang limp in your arms.
Jade Leech: His hugs also have very business vibes from him but he’d also slowly caress your back, his fingertips softly touching your spine sending you shivers. He knows what he’s doing, don’t let his smile deceive you, he's nothing but a little shit.
Floyd Leech: you know how his hugs are … you don’t need me to tell you…
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Kalim Al-Asim: Warm and fuzzy, like hugging the sun itself. I don't even know how his face doesn't hurt with all the smiling he does. He’d 100% make little jumps when and after he hugs you. If extremely happy he’d probably squeal or something. He’s cute like that.
Jamil Viper: The moment you hug him you can both see and feel his body relax, he'd let out a breath and hug you tightly. Bring you closer to his chest. Best believe this in the only moment of peace he’ll have all day, just let him enjoy it.
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Vil Schoenheit: You can feel his neck straining to not touch you, god forbid he ruins his make-up. That’ll make you think that he feels like hugging you is a chore or that he doesn’t like it, don't believe that, he loves it. Just wait until it’s the end of the day and all his make-up is gone, once you get in bed you’ll be able to lay your head on his chest and cuddle all night
Еpel Felmier: If you're shorter or taller doesn’t matter, he will wrap his arms around your shoulders and hug you as strongly as he can. Will think it’s manly. Please go along with it or he’ll have a crisis once alone in his dorm room.
Rook Hunk: It's happening when you least expect it. You think you're alone, then boom, you get hugged. He’ll stay there as long as you permit it and will spew poetics non-stop. If you are not one to hug people then he'll absolutely brag about it to everyone and their mother.
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Idia Shroud: He won't ever initiate, so it's on you this time around. Whatever type of hug it is, long or short, tight or loose, you won’t be seeing him for at least a month after that, he’ll just be hiding until the end of time ( until you and his brother give him no choice and drag him out of his room).
Ortho Shroud: Will hug you, be so happy about it, and then immediately run to his brother to tell him how good it was and list all the mental and physical benefits of hugs. He just wants to help his brother. Cut him some slack.
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Malleus Draconia: He sees a hug as a very intimate affair. If you wait for him to hug you then you better be prepared to wait at least 5 months. If you beat him to it he’ll blush. It's gonna be brief and not exactly satisfactory but be prepared to see a ring very soon. Also, he’ll brag. Loudly.
Lilia Vanrouge: Hug attack. It’s a strong embrace if short. Also will shamelessly laugh at your face afterwards.
Silver: More than a hug, it’s a cuddle, his sleeping is quite infectious and you’ll fall right asleep. One of the best naps of your life.
Sebek Zigvolt: He sees you go in for a hug, sidesteps you, yells about how improper all of it is, and then a second later hugs you anyway. Other than a broken eardrum the hug is unimpressive, not exactly something to write home about. Maybe write to his home, for the medical bills, for your ears.
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astrologydayz · 7 months
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ASTRO SEXOLOGY NOTES🔞 - NATAL CHART2
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VENUS/EROS IN PISCES/AT 12, 24° = Pisces degree points 2 someone being sexually attracted 2 "lost souls", they want someone who's willing 2 let them be their saviour✨. They could also hold deep thoughts about being saved by a lover themselves, and the idea of "escaping" 2 their "happily ever after". Sex them up with how artistic/poetic u can be. That shit always works. They need someone who's willing 2 show them a kind heart, while also fulfilling their deepest desires/sexual urges.
VENUS/EROS IN SCORPIO/AT 8, 20° = Scorpio degree points 2 someone wanting a lover that's more sexually charged in private, and someone who's willing 2 give up their "thought patterns", as they can be a little "obsessive" with wanting to know everything, or them investigating when they feel the other persons sexual attraction "dying down a little bit"🧯🔥. These people can easily find your weak spots, so they won't disappoint. They need someone who's willing2 give them their soul, as they do the same💀😍.
VENUS/EROS IN LEO/AT 5, 17, 29° = Leo degree points 2 wanting 2 be praised all the time, and a need 2 praise, if the other person does good🐕. They want someone who worships them, puts them on a pedestal👑. They need someone who knows that they're not 2nd place, but always 1st place. They put passion, & sexual attraction/admiration at the top of the list, of things they NEED, 2want to get sexual with somebody. They need platonic, romantic, &sexual flirting from people all around, 2 get that "confidence in", people telling them how fine they look/how sexy they are🌟🌟.
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Moira asteroid (638) conjunct 5th house can show fated romances/affairs throughout life, or with one special person💜.
A MAN’S Venus in Leo/1st house is mostly all about themselves in bed, they want 2 get off first and then maybe, if you're lucky, they'll finish u off2. No hate, I just don't fuck with it 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨.
Black Moon Lilith conjunct Vertex in a MAN’S chart shows that he's meant 2 have fated experiences, that puts him out of the "conventional". Like him dating/seeing younger women&getting shit4it, or him being "thrown" into situations where he has 2 "defend himself", because of the women he's in a sexual relationship/romantic relationship with🙄. These fated connections/experiences is what turns him into who he's supposed 2 be - someone who doesn't give a fuck about anyone else's opinion - BML energy🖕🖕💜.
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Medusa asteroid (149) conjunct ASC in a WOMAN’S chart will make herself look "tempting", or "available" in front of a man, but as soon as he looks or tries 2 hit on her, she'll degrade him. "U disgusting man, or "u pig"!! "I didn't look at u, or made any attempt 2 flirt with u, whatsoever"😂.
A MAN WITH Venus, Mars and Saturn in Capricorn = Ultimate dom. They'll make you scream their name over, and over again, & won't stop until he made you cum multiple times. He's REALLY sexually experienced, when he reach his older years, like from 30&up.
Lust asteroid : 4386 conjunct Jupiter = crazy sexual needs. Even if they've had crazy sex all night = they can go again the next day, all day😵‍💫😲🤣🤣 Mars in Virgo/8th house in Virgo in a MAN'S chart typically finds "younger people" 2 be way more sexual attractive, than people at their own age. They're attracted 2 the feeling of "feeling young", while being with a young woman/man❤️. They want someone they can have an insane sexual attraction2, while also being able 2 "teach" the other person a lot in the sexual department. Them wanting young/inexperienced women.
Neptune conjunct Black moon Lilith can make you so damn ethereal. Especially if you got Mars or Venus aspecting it 2. people want 2 rip your clothes off but r afraid 2 even say hi 2 u😭😭😭. Afraid you'll reject/embarrass them.
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💜💜💜💜 Look at aspects from Venus (the planet of love&attraction), & Mars (the planet of sex), 2c what u like, & what u need sexually💋.
👅👅👅 Mars in Gemini changes their mind a lot when it comes 2 sex. One day they like 2 dominate, & the next they like 2 be submissive. It really comes down to how they feel on that particular day. &it makes sense. Mars (planet of sex&) in Gemini - Duality. A MAN’S Venus/Mars in Leo wants praises from u. They want 2 hear how good they are, and amazing they are in bed. If u don't, they can get bored of u, and seek somebody else - get their "needs" taken care of by another person👀 👀.
If your 8th house ruler is in your 8th house = sex can so transformative for u but you'll probably only hookup with a few people throughout your life tho. Only having sex with people you feel a deep soul connection with.
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🍆🍆 A MAN'S Mars/Venus/in 11th house in Aquarius is FREAKYYYYY, they'll try anything with their partner. MOSTLY ON VIDEO/cam🙃🙃🙃 PERIOD.
A WOMAN'S Venus in Pisces/8th/12th house is the "I'll do anything I can 2 satisfy your needs, before my own". I love these placements, they want their partner 2 feel all the pleasure and doesn't even think about their own.
Taurus Mercury/Mars LOVES 2 be neck kissed, damn. Just go wild there and they'll go crazy 4 u, I promise 👄👅. MEN with Mars in Taurus/Taurus in 8th house = attracted 2 women that always looks "beautiful", "sexy, but classy", "ocd around looks", "model looking". They want a gorgeous woman, that can "cater" 2 their most sensual needs 🫦💦. Find some whipped cream/ice cream + your tongue&his body = go loca. If he doesn't go crazy, (u probably have the wrong chart😂🤡). Webb asteroid (3041) conjunct/trine/sextile/quintile BML can indicate doing "Web porn", "only fans", "showing yourself off, in a "sexual, provocative way online"🧯💨🔥.
Mars/Venus in Gemini/3rd house loves using toys! But they especially love2 use their hands&fingers!! They can also love oral👅.
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REPOST OF SOME OF MY POSTS FROM MY OLD BLOG/SOME NEW COMMENTS
THANKS4READING💘 Appreciate u, always!
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cowboyfromh3ll · 7 months
Note
you said to do headcannons right?
can you do sex headcannons for the members of the gang? Only ones you're comfortable with obv. Personally, I don't care much for Micah (I want to set him on fire) so feel free to leave him out if you don't feel like writing for him
But the usual Dutch, John, Javier, Arthur, Charles, and anybody else you feel like are just perfect. I love your writing, so I'm excited to see your take on these
<3
Sex HC Ft. Van Der Linde Gang
(Dutch Van Der Linde, John Marston, Javier Escuella, Arthur Morgan, Charles Smith, Lenny Summers, Kieran Duffy, Micah Bell, Sean Macguire, Sadie Adler)
I should write for the girls more
Warnings: Smut, duh
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Dutch Van Der Linde
He probably loves roleplaying
Pretending he's the outlaw and you're the officer punishing him
But most times he loves being in control of you, thinks it's so attractive when you submit completely to him and become his pliable little servant
Likes it when you wear expensive jewelry and gifts he buys you with nothing else on
Definitely wants you to call him Sir
Says the most poetic and flowery things to you during
Probably enjoys receiving but LOVES giving head. Views it as another way to take control
Quickies with him are non existent. To him, sex and intimacy are an art, and he will take his time with every little detail and aspect of it
Enjoys playful brattiness, definitely a brat tamer
I can see him being into BDSM. Ball gags, leather crops, leashes, blindfolds, etc
John Marston
Super messy, super rough, super desperate
Pussy eating pro. I'm talking mind blowing, back arching, toe curling, sheet gripping head. ALWAYS asks if he can go down on you
Acts like every time you two have sex will be the last
On the contrary though, I feel like he'd be into edging
Also doesn't mind letting you be dominant, he has such submissive energy
Mayhaps a mommy kink, because I can also see him calling you mommy
Would let you tie him up, totally at your mercy
He loses any semblance of shame, will beg, cry, whimper, you name it
Could consent to just about anything, if you tell him to bark he'll bark
Gets carried away when during sex sometimes, just gets absolutely drunk from pleasure
Javier Escuella
Incredibly romantic and passionate
He can fuck, but he can also make love
So much sexual stamina, and makes every time you have sex absolutely unforgettable
Loves to make sure you are as comfortable as possible and feel as though you have enough privacy. Even if it means paying for a hotel, he'll do anything to ensure your comfort
But if you wanna have risky public sex he's more than willing to as well lmao
Holds you and whispers how much he loves you while he thrusts slowly
But if y'all are fucking he'll say the filthiest shit he can conjur up in his mind while thrusting as hard and fast as he can
Slaps and grips anything he can hold onto
Overwhelms all of your senses and stimulates you in multiple ways at once
Loves cumming inside you but if not inside then on your torso or face
Arthur Morgan
Loves putting his whole weight on you when y'all fuck
Just simply pinning you down with the size of him drives him crazy
Is such a gentleman even during sex. Always stops and asks how you are and if you like how he's doing
Insists you don't have to go down on him but secretly loves it when you do
His favorite positions are ones where you're totally helpless like mating presses or locking your arms behind you
Whenever he fucks you from behind he wraps his massive arm around your neck. Idly squeezes down on your neck
Enjoys sex totally naked, makes it feel more intimate exposing yourselves fully to each other
But he loves it if you wear cute outfits for him just so he can take it off you
But he absolutely loves quickies. Complains they're too risky but every time you suggest one he's unbuckling his belt before you can finish your sentence
Definitely does the knee thing
Charles Smith
He is a pure giver. You will always cum at least 3 times or else he won't feel like he did a thorough job.
Will ignore his own aching cock as long as he can see you squirm in ecstasy
Your pleasure is his pleasure
Doesn't care if he doesn't get to cum tbh
Definitely aware of his size and uses it to his advantage if you're into that
Cages you in his arms, holds you down, puts you in choke holds, etc
I feel like he'd be pretty vanilla and you'd be the one to bring kinks to the table if anything. Will honestly do most anything you want if it brings you pleasure
Soft but firm touches, like every touch is done with intent and thought
Type to make out with you for hours without any actual stimulation and be content. Will see you off with the bluest balls.
Lenny Summers
He's still pretty young so I believe his experience would be limited
You two are probably eachother's first everythings, atleast you're his
Probably cums real fast but makes up for it with enthusiam
Will try out so many things with you, the two of you will both bring ideas to the table
Tries to start things off slow but his excitement gets the best of him
SO MUCH communication and talking during (feedback, jokes, etc...)
Very forward with his needs
Asks for hand/blow jobs a lot to blow off some steam
Very fast learner, and probably very risky
I feel like he'd ask to finger you a lot in risky situations
There's been instances where he just forgets foreplay altogether and just wants to go at it
Kieran Duffy
Submissive as hell
Definitely whimpers
Let's you take the lead 99% of the time
Will cum within five minutes max, and it really takes it out of him
Super sensitive literally everything. Touch him anywhere and he's blushing and squirming
Loves it if you wrap your thighs around his head
That being said, enjoys face sitting
Feels reassured when you tell him what to do and help him in the process
Hands roam all over you, it's like he can't fathom that you're a real being that's actually doing this with him
Eyes roll back and his face goes red when he cums. He's super embarassed about it
Micah Bell
SO rough. Drags you into position and commands you to do certain things
Likes slapping, hair pulling, spitting, I feel like he'd even be into piss. All of the above would go both ways for him.
Hate sex with him goes crazy ong. And after arguments? Just fucking all your anger away
Into degrading for sure
Sex is definitely the best emotional release for the both of you without actually hurting eachother
He's into marks. That entails scratches, bites, bruises
Make him bleed, literally beat the shit out of him during sex and he'll let it slide
Sex is a constant battle for dominance
Probably makes you do embarassing things for him like bark
Also puts you in obscene and embarassing positions just for his own pleasure
If anyone ever heard y'all have sex they'd think it sounds more like an argument and a fist fight than love making
Sean Macguire
The goofiest man during sex, not even intentionally either. He'll say the stupidest thing you've ever heard with his whole chest and you'll have to ask if he's serious
"You ready for the Macguire special?"
Loud ass moans, cannot contain them. If you're into public sex you better either prepare to be caught or mentally prepare yourself for the influx of scoldings/questions that'll come later
LOVES playful brattiness or when you want to take control. He's all for it
Has fantasies of being woken up with head
Will do the same for you in return if that's what it takes to enact his fantasies
Also into roleplay but way cornier shit like you're a nurse and he's a patient. Indulges in costumes as well
Drunk sex is the best because it's combining two of his favorite things
Sadie Adler
Also definitely does the knee thing...
Genuinely one of the sweetest and more passionate lovers, and it will translate during sex
Super gentle and passionate
Lot's of "I love you"s exchanged
Never any space between you, your limbs constantly intertwined as you kiss and move against eachother
Either of you can take the role as dom, it doesn't matter to her
Smiles the whole time out of pure adoration for you
Can be super sultry and kinky when the time calls for it though
Not opposed to being a little rougher but I can't see her going too far with that
Thinks you're far too delicate and special to be treated in such a way
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jubilee40 · 5 months
Note
Can you please do relationship HCs for the jjk men? Ups and downs of being their partner lol
The Pros & Cons of Dating JJK Men ~ Gojo, Nanami, Geto, Toji, Sukuna, and Choso
📿📿📿📿📿📿📿📿📿📿📿📿📿📿
Characters: Satoru Gojo, Kento Nanami, Suguru Geto, Toji Fushiguro, Ryomen Sukuna, and Choso
Warnings: Small Angst(?)
📿📿📿📿📿📿📿📿📿📿📿📿📿📿📿📿
Satoru Gojo
Pros:
Satoru’s love language is touch, whether it's holding hands, grabbing your butt, or a kiss, Saturo can't help but have the need to touch and hold you when you are near.
Will always hype you up with anything you are doing, whether you're going out for a girl’s night or have an important work presentation, Saturo is here for you.
Satoru is committed to your relationship once the two of you are official, you are his number 1 priority besides his students.
Sexy time with your Satoru always leaves you overstimulated and exhausted. Becomes completely pussy-drunk as soon as he sees your glistening pussy.
Cons:
I personally don't see a lot of cons with being Satoru except that he can be an attention whore & has a flirty personality in general.
He may see himself as a loyal person who is 1000% dedicated to his S/O but you don't sometimes which feeds into your insecurities and causes unnecessary distance between the two of you.
Kento Nanami
Pros:
Kento is a true gentleman when it comes to his romantic partner. He's serious about respecting your boundaries and not doing anything intimate you aren't comfortable with.
He doesn't think of himself as a romantic but his actions say otherwise. Private dinners at high-class restaurants or a quiet picnic in the park, Kento will make sure everything is perfect.
Kento isn’t with you just for you to stay his girlfriend, he sees you as his future wife to whom he plans to propose to after 2 years of being together.
In bed, Kento Nanami is surprisingly (not) very expressive in the bedroom. He isn't afraid to slap or degrade you after he has your consent naturally.
Cons:
Kento has a set timeline of what he plans his romantic life to be life, which leaves you feeling a bit of pressure to follow it and weirded out that he has this planned out.
He can be too focused on working to take care of his future with you that he ends up leaving you feeling neglected as times.
Suguru Geto
Pros:
Suguru spoils you with praise and affirmations of his love. Enjoys seeing your cheeks redden with each confession of his love he gives you.
He’s protective, not possessive with you. Suguru understands that you need freedom but that doesn't stop him from wrapping his arms around you after seeing a pathetic male ogle you.
Suguru is completely secure with your relationship and knows you are too.
Sex with him is either gentle and poetic or downright nasty and sweaty.
Cons:
A major relationship con I can see with Suguru Geto is his arrogance. He would think he knows more than you do and believes you should just shut up and listen.
His sarcasm can also be something that you struggle with. Even though he doesn't mean to hurt your feelings you can't help but feel upset at his tone and response.
Toji Fushiguro
Pros:
Your relationship with Toji started off as friends-with-benefits that turned into the two of you dating without ever making it official.
Toji loves to grab your ass or tit randomly, leaving a blushing mess and telling him to stop.
He isn't great at communicating how he cares about you so he ends up buying you food and clothes (mostly lingerie) thinking you'll understand his intentions.
Since you and Toji were fwb first he knows what parts of your body to pay attention to have you creaming around his cock. Was a selfish lover at first but now loves seeing the tears run down your face from continuous overstimulation.
Cons:
Let's be real there are more cons to being in a relationship with Toji Fushigoro than pros, but I still love him.
He's horrible with money and will spend all his money on a boat race if he has a “lucky feeling”.
Toji may be committed and love you that doesn't stop him from knowingly flirting with other women, not to the point of cheating but just enough to boost his ego.
Ryomen Sukuna
Pros:
A pro to dating Ryomen is that if he's committed to you, he's COMMITTED to you. Wanna break up/divorce? Too bad.
Ryomen is extremely protective and possessive, not controlling but will have everyone know you're his girl.
Not really into PDA, besides having an arm around you or having his hand resting on your inner thigh. But when the two are you are home Ryomen is leaving hickeys and bite marks all over you.
Ryomen Sukuna is merciless in bed. You have 3 safe words letting him know if it's okay to keep going or if you need a break.
Cons:
Arrogance. At first, you didn't mind his arrogant attitude but now it pisses you off.
Ryomen loves teasing and “bullying” you, what you see is him being an ass, he sees it as flirting.
He sees you as his woman and his property who should bend to his will.
Choso
Pros:
Being Choso’s S/O has you feeling adored and appreciated. He truly falls hard for you.
Is a cuddle monster when the two of you are home. Your embrace is a true comfort for him.
100% loyal to you, Choso barely socializes with anyone besides you and his little brother.
In my opinion, I see Choso as a sub or switch. He prefers to be pegged and taken care of since he always looked after his younger brothers.
Cons:
You are not at the top of his list, his last living younger brother is his number one concern.
Since he isn't a big extrovert, Choso is fine with staying home which can be tiring after the fifth date in a row is a at home movie night.
~Taglist~
@samanthathesonicfan @pradaandlucifer @gojo-enthusiast @breely1284 @fiona782 @mrsgangorca @myfireangel09 @missroro @ohgosh0777 @Miss-Uzumaki @straymoon96 @melody13522 @itzgabz22 @jaselynorwhatever @savantsoulfinders @qtahmark @roseqzpd @innerghiblisoul @lovingsecret @0lissa0 @ike-bana @nycvalntyne @im-the-music-whore @kristaline2dmensimp @moonlittle03 @kurookinnie @renster05 @ifu-sayso
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lild00td00t · 9 months
Note
Hi, I hope you are doing well! Can I request headcanons on how Crocodile, Buggy, Mihawk and Doflamingo would propose to their s/o or how they would react if their s/o was the one to propose to them? (Which ever you feel like is fine! :))
Have a great day!
One Piece War Lords: Proposing to their S/O
This was so adorable thank you for requesting the War Lords!! I’ll have to write a part 2. Buggy was honestly my favorite for a bit… 👉🏻👈🏻 but these are gonna be so HELLA friggin cheesy. I’m a hopeless romantic.. so please… COURT ME LIKE WE’RE IN PRIDE AND PREJUDICE.
Buggy
• He’s so nervous, his hands are clammy, even on the inside of his gloves sweat is lining along the fabric of them. He’s talked it over to himself multiple times, rationalizing the best and worst case scenario.
• He can’t help but melt when he sees you with the promise ring he gifted. He sweats bullets when you tease him about getting married… at dinner he nearly choked, and poor Mr.3 nearly had a heart attack just trying to dislodge the food that got caught in his throat. But he felt like that a majority of the times you discussed it. Like something was lodged in his throat and cutting off his air.
• So when you’re watching the crew bring a haul back on the ship, hands on your hips in a relaxed stance, you barely notice when he slips a ring on your finger, and he discreetly prays you don’t say anything about it until you screech and throw your arms around him, his body probably splits in 2 out of shock- this poor man -
• “ How does it feel knowing you’re going to be married to the future pirate king ?! Flashy ?! As it should feel?! “ Then the second you romanticize over the idea he practically hemorrhages 🥲
Mihawk
• The most poetic. God - he probably leaves you little poems every where, and they’re all based on you <3
• Your dates are so adorable. Like picnics, or going on row boats. It’s so quiet on the water, so you don’t notice when he slips down on one knee, clasping your hands in his while presenting a ring.
• You nearly flip the boat when you finally comprehend what’s happening but luckily your better half is much more calm and collected.. he was prepared for this reaction.. atleast he thinks he was -
• He kisses your knuckles, then overlaps your hands with his and holds them to his heart
• “ It seems as though the love saga of my poems will continue until death do us part…“
Crocodile
• Posessive..
• He truly is materialistic and is telling the truth. You genuinely will get what you want. But he can see it in your eyes that you’re not after his money, or his valuables or even his status. He can see the way you adoringly look up to him when he talks. And he’s not used to such an innocent form of love you offer.
• He feels that you must be protected, for what you make him feel is vulnerability. Which scares him. Because no one has ever made him feel that way before. So when the time is right, most likely on a starry night when you’re on a walk he’ll stop, just long enough to kneel and pull out the box, just long enough for you to realize what he’s doing. And with that, he confesses his love
• “ With this ring, you are mine.. whatever you want you can have. You will always be treated with my respect and my love, nothing will ever be enough to satiate how I feel for you. No amount of gold compares to that ring on your finger, for it holds the greatest power in all the world.. my promise to you. “
Doflamingo
• Like crocodile he’s possessive.. but with a sweet?? Spin ?? To it ???
• The moment he slips the ring on your finger he brings your hand to his lips for a sweet kiss, giving you that bone chilling smile while keeping his lips pressed to your skin.
• He doesn’t make a big, fancy show out of it. Because he knows that you don’t need everyone to know. It’s obvious that you’re his
• You listen when he talks. You’re never put off by his nightmares or bad moods. You urge him to talk about his brother and family. You talk about starting a new one… as a second chance.
• “ A second chance for the Heavenly Demon.. “ he thinks to himself, lost in thought. You weren’t scared to say that he was flawed, but it didn’t matter, because you could work on it together
• “ As long as you are mine, you will be taken care of and no one, I mean no one, will ever mistreat you ever again, lest they want my wrath… “ And he means it. He means every word of it. He would wage wars in your name, bring cities to the ground, and split the ocean in two if he could, unlike crocodile, who is alittle more materialistic with his promises. <3
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adoregojo · 3 months
Text
secret admirer.
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hihihihihihihihi, i cannot believe i actually slept for two days in a row? wth? and also that i never did this kind of posts? im such a lazy bum mb yall, I promise I'll write a real fic soon. summary: bllk characters as your secret admirers: isagi, bachira, chigiri, reo. how they fell, what do they do, how did they confess.
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isagi.y
him. just him.
you once held his shirt collar to stop him from planting flatly on the floor.
and when you walked away, you walked with his heart in your palms.
yea, just like that
but honestly, isagi himself didn't knew he was such a big sap inside
and the moment he realised you two shared a few classes was the second he almost kneeled and thanked the sky itself for this.
an absolute swoon from looking at your side profile.
he once was long gone within the abyss of daydreaming about you, he genuinely just couldn't look away.
then got called out by the teacher for being too distracted.
definitely prayed that you didn't see that.
writes your name unintentionally in his notebook.
gets so embarrassed about it later and rips the paper.
still dose it again the next day and almost ripped the whole book apart form cringing at himself.
he once was musing over you too much to the point that your name slipped out unwittingly on the dinner table.
his parents couldn't stop teasing him about it, wondering when they would see you walking down their house door.
leaves love notes in your locker almost everyday.
it's something short and simple like: "you look pretty today."
then when he goes home he'll realize how dumb that was because you literally look the prettiest everyday.
dumb, dumby.
takes time to make the first move though.
he just feels like you're way, farther away from his reach.
it's okay, he still considers himself lucky to be one of those who got admire you.
he just hoped you saw him behind all of them, even if it was a glance.
chigiri.h
omgg pretty boyyy
despite chigiri being a confident and self-reliant, the trigger words of his old injury was like a pulling a pin of a grenade to his still-raw sorrowness. something that'll always haunt him.
and what dose he dare to say when they were nothing but truthful? like a salt to his wounds, he tends to just take it and suck it up, or at least try to ignore it for his sake.
but everything flipped when you stood up for him.
from that moment on. chigiri knew that he was far a goner.
out of everyone here he's definitely the most romantic one.
reads all your favourite books and analysis it.
probably named a cat after you.
like isagi he writes love letters for you.
just a little too poetic..
it it's short then it's something like: "loving you is like breathing." or "i hope your days are filled with the same joy you give me with your existence only."
but mostly is: "my definition of love, i see the true meaning of living behind your hue of life. you shall lighten my soul with your existence alone, i was born to see you shin each day, witnessing you is a blessing from heaven itself. the day that i stop seeing you as the owner of the stars is the day my body shall vanish, yet my soul will know it way back to you. from your only and one your admirer."
what a lovesick clown.
he might be a smooth talker on the outside, but trust me the butterflies of sentimental keeps on swirling in his stomach on the sight of you.
told his mother and sister about you.
it was his biggest regrets.
because the next day his sister shouted your name in a demand for you to spend the night for the 'meeting of the future in law'.
he had to physically drag her back to the car, freaking embarrassing.
couldn't meet your eyes for a while after that.
wants to hold your hand.
like, really badly.
it's just that feeling your skin against his cold, pristine hands must've feel like the loveliest, cosiest thing.
the thoughts alone are making him go crazy.
he confessed first, just couldn't help himself.
he just hoped if you would go to the end of the world alongside with him.
bachira.m
the sunshine boy himself.
the definition of fell first AND fell harder.
it all started when the class was ordered to work as duo for a project, something he always despised.
you may say that because bachira was definitely not having the word 'smart' in his book, you'd be right actually.
but mainly since no one really wanted to group up with him.
it was embarrassing, to just sit there and wait to be picked was putting him under the lights that pointed him out as the most pitiful creature in the room.
then you pocked him on the shoulder, and asked him if he wanted to be your partner.
and when he didn't see the sarcasm reeking from you, he knew he tripped hard, and couldn't find it anywhere in his feet to back him up.
it was strange, bachira never had a company, let alone a crush.
but the signs were there, and were painfully vulnerable.
painted you in art class multiple times; you with a smile, you reading a book, you sniffing a sunflower.
maybe also you and him... holding hands or hugging...
stares at your face a way, way too long.
he tells himself it's to crave your features better and detailed.
even he doesn't believe that however.
he draws your eyes a lot.
his second favourite colour is your eyes hue.
he was never the best at writing romantic poems, and his hand writing is just........
so he insisted gets you a gift!
which is a rock.
yes you heard me, rock.
he would even paint a little face with a smile on it and leave it on your desk by the end of the day.
almost went bald from joy when you had it hanging as a small march on your bag.
and when you had a bad day, that goes unnoticed by him.
so imagine your surprise when you would find two pairs of rocks, one kissing the other who had a sad expression on it face.
that somehow that foster a blissful smile on your face. like that little action extinct any remains of the past negative you carried.
and bachira was more than happy to be the reason for your happiness.
definitely rambles about you to his mom.
and his monster.
he once ha a dream about you two smooching.
cried when he woke up because he wanted it to be real more than anything.
you two confessed first, at the same time.
and boy was he dancing on cloud nine at it.
he almost smooch you that moment and then.
reo.m
it's mister perfect everyone, cheer.
you fell first, he fell harder.
no, literally. you fell. tripped flat on the floor.
and somehow, that made the reo mikage heart move.
?????????
love at first (fall??) sight.
he definitely leaves a trail of gifts for you everywhere.
your chair, desk, locker, bag.
he switches between chocolate and flowers to letters and perfumes, necklaces, etc..
you say how he picked them?
easy, see something that reminds him of you, he buys.
and it's pretty foolish since he sees you in almost everything.
reo is convinced that you're within everything that shins beautifully.
he actually paid the teachers to let him be in the same classroom as you.
paid even more to get a seat next to you.
rip to whoever was sitting next to you.
he once heard that a guy was bothering you.
the next day the guy was the talking of school because he suddenly moved out of town due to his dad losing his job.
hm, must be karma then.
has a shrine of you.
but you didn't hear that from me.
talks about you none stop to nagi and ba-ya.
genuinely sobbed when he imagined you with someone else.
has a flight under your name.
made a makeshift doll of you so he can practice his confessions on.
had a mental breakdown of the idea of you rejecting him.
reo can the most horrible, miserable day to a human kind to live.
then he sees you smiling
BOOM
he's all happy and smiling again, also a little giddy.
you once greeted him good morning, the next day he was planing what ring would suit you the most.
had two planes to write on the sky: 'will you go out with me?' and your name next to it in a shade of a heart.
now, you definitely cannot reject that. (Please don't)
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have a nice day everyone.
968 notes · View notes
beesspacedotorg · 4 months
Text
Romance is Doomed (Lie)
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Summary: your parents tumultuous relationship has given you very little hope and expectations for your own. your boyfriend, Seungmin, seems determined to change that ... at least until he forgets an important romantic holiday. 4.2k
Warnings: angst. fluff. Kim Seungmin. porn. insecure reader. edging. no body type or pronouns mentioned. bad (?) parents. I wrote this based on a very sad conversation my parents had, so reader has mommy and daddy issues (double whammy). reader is insecure and at one point starts waxing poetic about being unlovable (????) but Seungmin calls them out on it so dw. This is my first time writing Seungmin so ... he might be a little ooc.
note: I don't really have an explanation for this. my parents made me sad so I wrote a fanfiction about Kim Seungmin to make me feel better. This is incredibly self indulgent, so if you don't like it that's okay. this is literally in my google docs as "This is for me and if you don't like it, sucks" so.
You know that it’s his job, so you can never get mad at him for it, not really. That would be irrational, and crazy, and you are neither of those things- or, not enough of those things to kick up a fuss. Still, when you hear him say it something in your chest pangs and you are left with a weird, hollow emptiness that you have no name for.
“Who’s your valentine?” Everyone is asking him, he’s an idol, it’s his job.
“Stay!” He smiles cutely and it squints his eyes slightly as he does. You can see his perfectly white and perfectly aligned teeth on your phone and you pause the video to switch to a different app instead, but your feed is perfectly curated to show you videos and pictures of your boy and his group, so all you see is him and that damned clip from that damned video.
You’re launched back to a conversation you’d had with your parents. It was in jest, you weren’t serious, but the tone of the day shifted drastically after you’d asked it.
“Mom, who’s your Valentine?” You were drinking the soda you’d just refilled and wincing slightly at the carbonation as you walked towards the car.
“No one, your Dad hasn’t asked me yet.”
“Dad, are you and Mom each other's Valentines?” He’s opening the door as you ask.
“No.” You can see your mom’s face fall, and for the rest of the day there’s a kind of gray cloud hanging over your parents. That moment sticks with you, and every year you think about it.
You and Seungmin are different though, you’re absolutely positive that he loves you. You’re absolutely positive that he cares about you and wants you around, you’re absolutely positive that if he wanted to get rid of you, he would. But he hasn’t, so you trust that he wants you around. But, this is his job. This is his job and you knew what you were getting into when the two of you started dating, so you can’t be mad at him, you won’t be mad at him.
-
“How are things at home?” You’re on the phone with your mother, you call her once a week. No matter what she’s put you through, she’s still your mother and you still love her, so you call.
“Oh, the usual. Your Dad is being. You know.” She sounds sad as she says it, and the worst part is that you do know. Crotchety and mean and in pain and cruel. So, you do know, and you feel bad for your mom when she says it. She is his wife, and he cannot spare her a drop of kindness.
The call ends, as it always does, with one of you saying something cutting and the other hanging up without responding to the “I love you” at the other end of the line. You look at your calendar. Valentine’s Day is tomorrow and he still hasn’t asked you. Your mom says he might just assume that you two are each other’s Valentine’s because you’re together, you say that it would still be nice if he asked. Your mom tells you not to hold your breath. You tell her that you aren’t planning on it.
-
It took the two of you a while to get together, longer than it should have, probably. But, as in all things, you are naturally distrustful of the intentions of strangers, or strangers-turned-friends-turned-? so you avoided the topic any time he would try and hint at it.
“I have two tickets to the Giants game tonight!”
“Sick! Those are hard to come by, Seungminnie! I hope you and Jeongin have fun.”
“Well, actually-”
“Hey! Did I ever tell you about this thing I saw the other day?”
When you did finally stop avoiding it, he asked you why, and you told him it was stupid, and he said nothing can be stupider than the time he and Felix managed to over whip the eggs for their souffle pancakes, truly a feat considering the fact that the eggs they were using were cold.
“I like you a lot,” you’d said. “I like you a lot and it feels like the love I have for you is replacing the air that I breathe, and I know, one day, you’ll get tired of me and my sadness and my everything, and I’d rather not have to spend years of my life filling in the hole that you’ll leave with foam that’ll collapse come morning.”
He’d paused for a moment, and you’d looked at the ground.
“I don’t want you to get tired of me and leave. I don’t want to be afraid you’ll leave so I do it first and regret it days later. I don’t want you to get tired of me and stay only to make jabs at me until I am nothing but a pasta strainer masquerading as a person.”
He’d frowned at you.
“Do you really think that little of me?”
“What?”
“Do you think that I would walk away like that? That I wouldn’t put in effort to stay, or to make you stay? That I would hate you so much that I would share a bed with you and hurt you at the same time?”
“No, but-”
“Listen,” he grabs your hands, “I’m not entirely sure why you think the way that you do about these things, and I won’t promise that I won’t hurt you- I’m not that stupid. But I promise that I’ll try not to, that I’ll make it up to you if I do. But you have to promise me something too, okay?”
“What’s the promise?”
“Don’t think of me that way. I’m mean, sure, but I’m not evil.”
“It’s not that I think you’re evil-”
“But I’m the one doing those things to you, right? In your head, it’s me? Whether you deserve it or not, I’m the one doing it.”
“... I see your point.”
“Good, I was running out of emotionally intelligent things to say. If you hadn’t been worn down we would’ve had to rain check this conversation for another day.” You laugh at him and he holds your hand.
“Your whole speech was really poetic, by the way, how long have you been sitting on that?”
“How long have I been alive?” He laughs, because he was supposed to, but he places a kiss on your temple too. And there’s a moment where you think that romance isn’t doomed, and, maybe, neither are you.
-
The first time you and Seungmin have sex, you spend the whole time worrying if he secretly finds you gross and disgusting. Well, you try to, but at that point, he’s gotten pretty good at telling when you’re writing heavy prose in your head and he then does his absolute best at making you lose your mind with pleasure. He succeeds.
“What were you thinking about?” Is what he says while he’s testing the shower water to make sure it’s hot enough to keep you warm. You’d tried to find a happy middle once, while you were showering together (In the dark, because “your eyes hurt”. You just weren’t ready for him to see you naked.) and goosebumps had broken out across your skin almost immediately, you’d shivered so hard it sent your teeth chattering, and your lips had started turning blue. When the two of you got out and Seungmin noticed, he’d said that you two would just shower together at temperatures comparable to the lakes of hell and he’d get over himself.
You shake your head at him. He won’t like your answer. He asks you this often, when you shrink in on yourself, and when you tell him, he always looks a little sad. But you don’t like to lie, and it’s bad manners to keep things a secret from your partner, so you tell him.
“I was worried you thought I was like, I dunno. Ugly, or something.” He deadpans at you. You worry that he’s mad. He huffs and drags a hand down his face.
“I’ve never come so hard in my life and you think that I’m not attracted to you? I came so hard I nearly blacked out, came so hard I think I told you that I loved you and you think that I think you’re ugly.” You feel slightly chided. He grabs your hand and gently guides you into the shower.
“Just because you feel that way about yourself doesn’t mean that I do.” He’s looking into your eyes as he says it, tucking your hair out of the way because it doesn’t need to be washed yet while he reaches behind you to grab the body wash. You gape at him like a fish.
“Close your mouth,” he nudges your jaw shut gently, “you don’t want to catch flies.”
You have something new to think about.
-
241302 11:37 am
Seungminnie?
eunming
no
seunmind
no!
having trouble yoebo?
ah shit
haha! yoebo
-_-
what did you even want
I love uou
yoo
yo
Jesus Christ
YOU
cringe
:( 
-
Your boy isn’t one for romance and displays of affection, you know that. But you’ve had such an awful and weird day that you can’t brush off what he says like you normally would. It’s not even noon and yet everything that could throw you off the wheel emotionally has. Like they all took turns, throwing you off, dragging you back in, and repeating it until you were a nice, buttery consistency.
He’s busy though, work and schedules and being an idol, so you reply with your usual sad face and nothing else and take a nap. Naps always fix things.
-
241302 11:45am
jagi?
is everything okay?
have fun doing whatever it is then
i enjoy being around you most of the time!
-
241302 1:27pm
hannie showed me this video
well
he didn’t show me per se
he showed linohyung and i was being nosy
but anyways
it was this cat that was very small
has an outrageous win/loss ratio for hunts
i think you would like it!
it’s called a
sorry i had to ask hannie its name again
the black footed cat he says
-
241302 4:15pm
hihi
you havent texted all day
are you gaming again kkkk
i was going to come over but i dont want to interrupt
should i just stay and game with yongbokkie???
maybe if we play genshin i’ll see you
we can finally co-op!
-
241302 5:27 pm
ahh
youre not on genshin :(
are you playing something else
jagi?
hmmm
make sure you eat and use the bathroom kkkkk
you always forget when you get sucked in
-
You’re jolted awake by a very loud and rough knock on your front door. Also by the sound of your phone ringing incessantly. You answer the phone first.
“Hello?” Your voice is slightly panicked, no one ever calls you save for when it’s an emergency, so you’re half expecting someone to be dying or dead when you pick up. You’re halfway out of bed and scanning your floor for a pair of pants when the banging on your door stops and you register the voice on the other end of the phone.
“Did you change your lock?”
“Did I- Seungmin, what?”
“My key doesn’t work anymore.” He sounds like he’s pouting.
“The building changed it recently. Something about security measures or whatever.”
“Ah. Come open the door.” You’re opening the door as he says it, rubbing your eyes and blinking at him.
“Were you asleep?” He’s toeing his shoes off. He has something behind his back.
“Yeah.”
“Explains why you didn’t answer your texts, then. I got worried.” He kisses the side of your face.
“Seungmin, what on earth is in your hands right now?” He looks down.
“Keys and my phone.” You stare at him.
“The other one, genius.”
“Yes, I like to think I am. Thank you.” You keep staring. He sighs. He hands you a thing of your favorite candy with a note that says “more to follow” attached.
“It’s come to my attention-”
“Was it Chan? Or Changbin, this time?” He glares slightly.
“It’s come to my attention, and I realized this all on my own with no outside help-”
“Sure.”
“With some outside help-”
“Better.”
“That tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, and some people enjoy being asked by their partners if they will participate.”
“Is this you asking?”
“I’m getting there!” He takes your hands the best he can while you’re still holding the candy and the note and looks at you again.
“I am sorry I didn’t ask sooner. I will ask sooner next year and the year after that and the year after that and so on and so forth. But!” He gets down on one knee. You kick him slightly with your foot.
“Unless you’re proposing, you better stand back up.” He stands back up.
“Will you be my Valentine?” You can feel your eyes water.
“If I have to.” You roll your eyes for show. Seungmin stands still for a moment.
“Is that how I sound to you?”
“Sometimes.” He raises an eyebrow. “Most of the time.”
“I am hilarious.” You roll your still-wet eyes as you open the candy.
“That’s not the whole gift.”
“I gathered, there’s a note that says so right here.” He huffs at you, giving you that deadpan stare again. He told you once that you’re one of the few people he’s met who can give and take his sarcasm in equal measures, you told him that was the nicest thing he’s ever said to you, he hit you with a pillow.
He doesn’t answer, instead he pulls you closer by the back of your neck and kisses you. Kissing Seungmin is always an experience, it always makes your head slightly fuzzy and makes your heart stutter in your chest. You think that if it was possible to die by kissing, you would’ve done it the first time you and Seungmin made out. As it stands, you just feel a little unsteady on your feet.
Seungmin pulls away and you catch yourself staring at his mouth, wet and pink and swollen just enough that it reminds you of when he had braces and his mouth was always slightly pushed out. He grabs your hand and leads you to your bedroom, placing his gifts for you somewhere on your dresser before he nudges you onto the bed.
“You’re so pretty, you know that?” His hands are winding around your waist, pushing your shirt out of the way, and he’s kissing you again.
“You’ve told me before,” you say it against his mouth, hands coming to tangle in his soft, fluffy, recently dyed hair and you can feel the sigh he emits from where your chests are pressed together.
“Can I compliment you just once?” You smile, cheeky.
“No. Never.” He grumbles something about you being impossible as he tugs your shirt off, leaning down to mouth at your chest. You tug his hair lightly and he shoots a glare up at you.
“What.”
“It’s not fair that I’m not wearing a shirt and you are.”
“‘It’s not fair that-’ Be patient.”
“I thought this was a Valentine’s day gift.”
“It’s about to turn into a Valentine’s day ungift if you don’t stop.”
“What the fuck is an ungift?” He shoves his hand down your pants to shut you up.
“You always have to be so difficult,” you interrupt his sentence with a choked off moan. “Can’t ever just be good for me, can you? Always have to fight me every step of the way.” You shake your head at him, denying it.
“Don’t lie, you’re doing it right now. You’re lucky today is a holiday, or I really would turn this into whatever the opposite of a gift is.”
The tone shift would’ve given you whiplash if you had enough mental facilities left to think, or if this wasn’t so on par with what you expect from him. Seungmin likes to keep you on your toes, sometimes letting you push without any retaliation, sometimes letting you get away with nothing at all. It seems he’s more merciful today, and you pull him close for a “thank you” peck that soon turns into something more.
“Seungmin, please-”
“Desperate. You’re always so desperate.”
“You’re being mean.”
“Am I?” The hand that’s touching you slows down and you whine at him. “Am I being mean to you?” He tilts his head to the side, falsely curious and fully condescending. He adds a fake pout for good measure.
“I’m sorry. I’m supposed to be apologizing after all. I should be nicer to you, shouldn’t I?” He’s cooing slightly at you, and you know he’s not being genuine, but you really just want him to go back to touching you like he was earlier, so you pout back and nod. He gives you a kiss on your downturned mouth and picks his pace back up.
Soon enough, you’re forgetting that he was ever being devious in the first place and then you’re spilling on his fingers. You’re brutally reminded when he keeps going, when he pins down your hands as they try to push him away, when he bullies his stupidly slender hips between your thighs so you can’t close them. It feels like your nerves are on fire, but at the same time you want more. You’re cumming again and tears spring to your eyes at the confusing sensation of too much and not enough and you can vaguely hear Seungmin mumbling empty platitudes at you through the sharp ringing in your ears.
There’s a brief pause where he shoves your bottoms and underwear off, mad about them being in his way, and then the confusing feeling is back again as his hand returns.
“Seungminnie, Seungmin, I can’t, I can’t.” You’re thrashing around hard enough that you’ve accidentally kicked the comforter off the bed.
“You can. I know you can. Just this last one, okay, baby? And then you can have whatever you want.” You know he would stop if you wanted him to, but you don’t really want him to. You want him to make you come a third time on his fingers and then you want to do it on his cock. His stupidly perfect cock.
Sometimes, when you’re busy waxing poetic about love and Seungmin and life, you think about how the two of you were most certainly made for each other. How Seungmin was made to fit you in all the ways that you were made to fit him and that whatever force brought you together made his cock with you in mind. The way it fits inside you and gives you that almost-too-full feeling without ever being too much always makes your head spin and you clench involuntarily at the thought of it even now. It doesn’t escape Seungmin’s notice, because of course it doesn’t, and he laughs a little at you.
He stops laughing when you come on his hand again, and eases you through it until you're twitching away from him and whining and then he’s kissing the space between your eyebrows and shucking off his own clothes.
You spend a minute just staring at him. He’s beautiful. You think he’s the most handsome and perfect man in the world and he has the audacity to walk around saying that he’s just “decent.” It’s moments like these where you finally understand what he gets all pissy about when you say you don’t like the way you look.
You’re drawn back into reality when you see him wrap one of his beautifully huge hands around his dick and you whine at him.
“What now?” The words are meant to be sharp but he’s too out of breath when he says them, so you brush it off.
“You said I could have whatever I wanted and I want your cock!” You sound petulant, even to yourself. “You can’t- Seungmin!” He huffs and drops his hand from himself and you can see his muscles tense with how hard he’s trying to give you what you want.
“Needy and desperate. You came three times and I can’t even come once before you’re begging for more.” He’s sliding into you as he says it, wincing as you tighten in sensitivity and stilling with the effort of not coming too soon. You nod at him anyways, finally agreeing to the things he’s saying. If he asked you to jump out of an airplane with no parachute right now, you’d probably say yes, as long as he would finally start fucking you.
“Mhm. Want you- want you all the time. Need you all the time.”
“Yeah? All the time?” His hips are sloppy and uncoordinated as he fucks into you, but you wouldn’t be able to handle much anyway with how sensitive you are, so you’re grateful that Seungmin has lost his composure.
“All the time.”
“Guess that makes you a slut then, hmm?” You huff, gathering as much of your shot coordination as you can to weakly hit him in the chest.
“No. Only want- I only want you.” He coos, softening.
“Yeah? Only me?” You nod. “Does that make you my slut then?” You shake your head. “No? What are you then, hmm?” You’re not sure, but you know that you love him, and the force of your love for him shakes every atom in your body if you think about it too long.
“I love you.” It’s all you can say, so it’s all that comes out of your mouth and Seungmin kisses your face because he can’t aim for a specific spot with how the two of you are moving and you know that he understands you because he always does.
“I love you, too. Love you so much. I’ll keep saying it until you believe me.” You let out a slight sob against his mouth and he shushes you.
“Pretty, you’re so pretty, baby. I love you so much.” He’s muttering it against your skin, hips meeting yours over and over until you’re tightening around him with an orgasm that’s almost too much to handle and he’s spilling into you too.
There’s a moment where the two of you just sit there, panting and breathing each other’s air, stuck together with sweat and cum and Seungmin’s dick that’s still inside of you and then your lip is wobbling and tears are spilling hot and fresh down the sides of your face.
“Woah, woah what’s wrong? My dick game isn’t that bad, is it?” You shake your head at him and tug him down for a hug. He lets out a noise as he’s flattened against you and his face is smushed against the bed. He has to move his head to the side to avoid suffocating, so his breath is hitting the inside of your ear and you move your head away because it’s very uncomfortable. He wraps his arms around you the best that he can from your position and when his dick slips out, you whine.
“Listen, I would totally love to still be inside you right now, but I think my dick might fall off, so just gimme a minute, yeah? Tell me what’s wrong.”
“I thought you forgot.”
“Forgot- oh. About Valentine’s? I might’ve forgotten to ask you to be my Valentine, but I didn’t forget about the holiday. I was actually strong-arming Channie hyung into letting me skip out on our schedules tomorrow. I was- I am, gonna spend the day with you.” His voice is low because of how close he is to your ear, but yours isn’t when what he says makes you cry harder.
“Everyone always forgets.”
“Not me. Not me, baby. I have to live up to my title of most dedicated boyfriend, I can’t just forget about holidays.”
“Who even,” your breath catches because of your tears as you start to calm down, “who even gave you that title?”
“It’s not important.”
“Seungmin.”
“... it was Hannie.” You let out another cry, but you’ve calmed down enough that this one is for show.
“I can’t believe,” your breath hitches again, “I can’t believe you’re gonna leave me for Han Jisung, ace of Stray Kids.”
“Yeah,” he turns his face flat. “I am, unfortunately. Sorry to break it to you.”
“That’s okay,” you turn your tear-stained face to look at him, smirk stretching across your mouth, “I’ll just go and date Stray Kids’ best vocalist. Bang Christopher Chan.” 
“Yah! You said you stopped having a crush on him!”
“And you said you wouldn’t leave me for one of your members!” He huffs and hides a smile in your shoulder as he moves to the side of you to hug you better.
“I love you. I really do,” he says. He’s moved your head to the side so you’re looking into his pretty brown eyes as he says it.
“I love you, too.” You do, you really do. You hope he can feel it from where he’s touching your skin. You hope he can feel it even when he’s nowhere near you. He smiles at you, and you think that he can. You think that he knows how much you love him and he loves you with the same sort of ferocity. You look at him and you think that romance isn’t doomed, and neither are you.
449 notes · View notes
ofstarsandvibranium · 11 days
Text
Precious Truths: Part 5
Fandom: Bridgerton
Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x F!Reader
Summary: After your father finds out you’ve been writing under a male pseudonym, he threatens to marry you off to an atrocious man unless you find yourself a husband within a month’s time.
A/N: I will not be taking tags for this series!
Series Masterlist
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Benedict's eyes scan the words across the page. After your confession, he proceeded to buy one of Talbot's your poetry books.
'Tis in your eyes I seek comfort.
Your arms I find solace.
In your lips I find love.
'Tis in you that I find the whole world
Standing before in great beauty
But at an arm's length is where I stay.
The second eldest Bridgerton is in awe. Your words carry such deep meaning, a sense of longing. Is this how you feel? Had someone captured your heart and he was none the wiser?
So many questions have risen since he's learned of your secret identity. Your poetry carries a deep sense of love, desire, passion. He never expected such feelings to come from you. This is a completely different side of you he is now seeing.
In the past, when you shared your poetry with him, they had a light, romantic touch. A sense of naivety and fairy tale outlook on love and life. But as Talbot, it was different.
"Helloooo?" Eloise waves her hand in front of Benedict, breaking his concentration.
He slaps her hand away, "What?"
Eloise snorts, "I have never seen you so deep in a book before, brother."
"A few ladies mentioned Arthur Talbot's work and I figured I see what the fuss was all about."
His sister rolls her eyes, "Women fawning over men waxing romantic poetics. Typical."
"I cannot wait for the day you fall in love, sister, and make an absolute fool of yourself." Benedict stands from his place at the table in the drawing room. He steps out to see Anthony and Kate escorting you to the door. His eyes brighten, "Y/N, I wasn't aware you were here."
You nod to him, "Apologies, Mister Bridgerton. I was simply here to discuss...business with Lord Bridgerton," you gesture to Anthony.
Benedict frowns, "Why such formality with us? We've been friends for years."
"Aunt Eliza advises me that I should be formal with you. She said that there may be men who envy the idea that I am close with you. So it is best we remain more...formal."
Benedict's shoulders sag, "Very well. We mustn't deter any...future prospects."
You nod, "Thank you for understanding," you face Anthony again and curtsey, "My Lord, thank you again for the list." You then face Kate, "I shall see you later, my Lady."
"Of course. I look forward to spending more time with you."
You proceed to take your leave, Benedict's eyes following you as you exit the Bridgertons' home.
"Excuse me," Benedict murmurs, heading straight to the study and pouring himself a drink.
Anthony clears his throat as he enters the room, "Will you be okay, brother? Truly."
"I have to be. There are much better men out there that will be able to provide the life and freedom she deserves. I need to accept that." Anthony, approaches his brother and gives him a reassuring pat on his shoulders, "I commend you for doing this. It won't be easy, but with time, I'm sure you'll be alright."
"Yes...time."
_____________________________
"Tell me about yourself, Miss L/N," Lord Belmont says as he turns you about the ballroom among the other couples.
You have to admit that the man is handsome, "Well I love poetry and to read. I am a fair player of the pianoforte as well as the harp. I know Latin and Greek. I adore animals."
Lord Belmont hums, "How do you fare in the outdoors?"
"I enjoy my time riding and walking amongst nature."
The lord scrunches up his face and distaste, "Oh no. If you are to be my wife, you shall be inside at all times being lady of the house."
You look at him in disbelief, "Am I not allowed to step outside at all, my Lord?"
"Of course, but only when we need to attend balls or important festivities."
Thankfully, the dance ends and you quickly and politely excuse yourself. You head straight to the refreshment table. You grab a lemonade and gulp half the glass down.
"Are you well? You practically ran from Lord Belmont," Kate asks as she approaches you at the drinks table.
You hum, "While Lord Belmont is a handsome man, I do not think he would allow the...freedom, that I desire."
Kate nods in understanding, "I see. Well, onto the next then?" She hooks her arm around yours and guides you to the the corner of the room where Anthony, Benedict, Daphne, and a man you haven't seen before stands with them.
"Apologies, I bumped into Miss L/N at the refreshment table. She needed a break from dancing."
Daphne's eyes light up, "Wonderful! Miss L/N, this is the Duke's friend, Lord Montclair, a marquess" she gestures to the dark skinned man dressed in a navy blue velvet suit.
You curtsy, "Good evening, Lord Montclair."
He nods to you, "A pleasure, Miss L/N," he gives you a kind smile.
"Montclair, you have French heritage?"
His smile grows wider, "I do. My father is French. Have you been?"
You nod, "My family and I would travel there for the summer," your smile weakens, "Unfortunately, I have not visited for years now."
"I understand. It has been some time since I have visited as well."
You and the Marquess continue to look each other with kind eyes. Benedict hides his clenched fists behind his back. Kate watches her brother-in-law with careful eyes.
Daphne is beaming as she speaks, "Lord Montclair, Miss Y/N is well-versed in poetry."
"Really?"
You shy from his gaze, "Yes, um, my mother would read poetry all the time. I fell in love with it. I love how much emotion one can convey through few lines."
"She writes poetry, as well," Benedict speaks and you look at him in surprise, "The way her words can make you feel so much in small amounts of verses...it's a beautiful feeling."
You give him a grateful smile and turn back to Lord Montclair, "Mister Bridgerton flatters me, but I am a novice when it comes to poetry writing."
"I do hope I get to read some of your writing in the future, Miss L/N."
You giggle, feeling your cheeks heat up as Lord Montclair gives his attention to you, "Perhaps sooner than expected, my Lord."
Lord Montclair steps closer to you, "I know you are taking a moment from dancing, but perhaps you have space on your dance card for me?"
"Of course, my Lord," you offer him your dance card and watch as he scribbles his neck in the next space, which happens to be for the next dance coming up.
"Oh, it seems our dance is here," he holds out his hand, waiting for you with a smile.
You place your gloved hand in his and follow him as he escorts you to the floor. You glance back at the Bridgertons, who all watch you with eager, careful eyes.
As they all watch you waltz with the Marquess, Benedict asks his sister, "Do you vouch for the Marcquess?"
She nods, "Yes. He is very kind. He enjoys reading and archery-"
"Brother, Y/N excels in archery, correct?"
Benedict clenches his jaw, "She does." His eyes never waver from you as you smile while dancing with the marquess.
"Looks like there may be some things they have in common," Kate says, eyeing her brother-in-law.
"How wonderful for them," Benedict murmurs as he walks away from his siblings.
________________________
You spend a large portion of your night conversing with Lord Montclair. The man was intelligent, charming, funny, and kind. He was the perfect man you see yourself marrying and yet...your eyes still wander towards Benedict. He spoke with some lords, danced with a few women. You knew you initiated the distance between you and Benedict, but that didn't mean it doesn't hurt you.
That man has held your heart for several years and it seems he will never reciprocate the feelings you have for him. So it's best to start the process of moving on, hopefully, with Lord Montclair.
And Lord Montclair did not disappoint when he called upon you the next morning.
He sat across from you in the sitting room, Aunt Eliza nearby going over some paperwork.
You look down at the bouquet of flowers, your favorite, the very ones you mentioned last night during your dance with Lord Montclair.
"Have you read any new poems today?" You shake your head and Montclair pulls out a book you are very familiar with, "Have you read Arthur Talbot's work? He's fairly new yet quite popular already."
You bite your lip to prevent you from bursting into a fit of giggles, "I adore his work. He has an impressive way of words."
He opens the book to a dog-eared page. He clears his throat and begins to recite,
To love you is to bathe in your light
To sway to your laughter,
With its melody and rhythm
To swell with pride when your eyes gaze on mine.
For that, I am whole
And you are forever my muse.
You felt a little...odd. Considering that not only is Lord Montclair reciting a poem that you wrote, but it's also about a man you are trying to get over. Not what you expected when you received your first caller.
"I believe that was one of Talbot's earlier works, yes?"
Montclair nods, "Yes, but I still believe the feeling of what he was trying to convey is very much still there, don't you agree?"
"Very much so, my Lord."
After some lengthy discussion about Talbot's work, you two move to the piano so you can teach him how to play.
"I never did have much of an ear for music. My mother was quite disappointed in me when I was unable to play any instrument she placed in my hands."
You chuckle, "We shall start with something easy." You show him how to place his fingers on the keys, giggling as you move each finger to the right location.
You continue to laugh with each other as you teach him the simplest of songs, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.
As you laugh when he gets the wrong note, a footman enters the room, "Miss L/N, you have another caller."
Daphne enters the room and you immediately stand, "Your Grace!"
The duchess' smile grows at the sight of you and Lord Montclair, "I do hope I haven't upset you with my intrusion, but it is nearing lunch and Lord Montclair hadn't return. But I see why now." she gives you a teasing look.
"I apologize for keeping Lord Montclair for so long, your Grace."
"Nonsense, Y/N. I was just checking that our dear marquess is alright."
Lord Montclair chuckles as he, too, stands from the piano bench, "As you can see, I am quite alright, but I suppose I have overstayed my welcome."
You shake your head, "Of course not, my Lord. It was a pleasure seeing you. I hope to see you again soon."
He faces you, "I hope to see you as well," he gently grabs your gloved hand and places a kiss atop it.
He then bows to your aunt, "Miss Y/N, good day."
"You as well, my Lord," your aunt responds with a wave.
You curtsy to Daphne, and she and the marquess both leave your home.
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sharkboywrites · 1 year
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Wait, This Is a Date!?
Riddle, Idia, and Malleus with an autistic reader who didn't realize they were on a date
Male/gn reader, autistic reader, missed signals, Idia is implied to also be autistic
A/N: I've noticed that some people aren't very obvious when asking someone out or generally establishing their feelings. I actually realized that one of my ex-friends stopped being friends with me because I wasn't picking up on their signals, what's up with people lmao
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One afternoon after you had finished all of your classes, your closest "friend" approached you looking rather nervous and asked you to accompany them later. Seeing this as just a request to hang out was friends, you accepted. When he suddenly thanks you for going on a date with him halfway through your activity your caught off guard.
"Wait, this is a date!?"
Riddle Rosehearts
Oh boy, be prepared to start apologizing because the once surprised look on his face at your sudden outburst melted to one of pure sadness. He was absolutely dejected
He took this as you rejecting him halfway through the date he put so much effort into
He even baked all the pastries for your little tea party date :(
He cleared his throat and straightened his posture. He put on a serious face despite clearly being on the verge of tears, and apologized for... making you uncomfortable? Wasting your time?
Well that wasn't what you wanted
In another quick outburst you cut him off and say that you didn't actually mean it in a negative way
You started doing the usual over-explaining hoping that he wouldn't get the wrong idea (more than he already had) and apologizing for not getting his signals
The relief he felt in that moment was something he doesn't think he can compare to anything else in his life
He actually started crying for the fact that "oh thank the sevens they're not rejecting me"
After he calmed down the two of you went back to your tea party date, although both of you aware aware that it was a date this time
bonus: Trey and Cater screaming internally after watching all of that from afar (They'd be there for Riddle's first date as emotional support you can't convince me otherwise)
Idia Shroud
Lord have mercy you're going to kill him
It took him so much to build up the courage Ortho blackmailing him to come over and play video games just for you to not know he was asking you on a date???
He played Stardew Valley with you what could be more romantic than that???
He kinda just sits there and stares at you
He's processing give him a minute
Literally the only response he gives you is just a "Uhh..yeah. Duh." (he's trying to not give away how disappointed he is)
And in you just respond with an "Oh."
Awkward level 100%
After sitting there for a few seconds rocking back and forth to make yourself a little more comfortable, you take a deep breath and lean your head on his shoulder
"Well I like this date."
He tries to hide his flustered face after that, but you can see the tips of his hair turn a soft pink in contrast to the usual blue
He really is bad at hiding his emotions
for the rest of the night the two of you keep playing video games together, and you eventually fall asleep on him, which he freaks out about but tries not to wake you up
Really just two autistics trying to figure out how to date and flirt
Malleus Draconia
So funny thing
He thought the two of you were a couple long before the two of you went on your "first date"
You know that thing on tiktok that's like "check with your autistic s/o that they know your dating because it turns out I've been dating someone for months and had no clue" Yeah that's the two of you
In his eyes it was established that the two of you had been dating. He probably confessed in his old poetic fae way of talking.
So he was just like "You are the sunrise to my day, the cool breeze on a summers day, the blood in my veins." and you were just like "Yep me and my good ol' pal Malleus. besties :)"
What do you mean friends don't give each other little trinkets they find pretty? What to you mean that's fae courting?
What do you mean friends aren't that affectionate? What do you mean friends don't hold hands, hug, and tell each other how much they appreciate them?
Honestly when you burst out with the question, he just laughs after a minute while you sit there flustered and confused
he has to sit you down and explain to you that you've both been dating for at least three months by this point. Lilia was even starting to ask him if he was going to ask you to marry him (he's impatient)
He does make sure that you're okay with this relationship and that you actually want to date him
After this you're relationship grows even stronger rather than growing weaker, he thinks it's endearing
He'll make sure to be more forward and literal with you from now on
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if I'm being honest all three of them give me "autistic just not diagnosed yet" vibes. Ty for reading and have a nice day
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lxkeeeee · 1 year
Text
MORE HUSBAND SCARAMOUCHE BRAINROT‼️
husband! scaramouche who doesn't necessarily need to eat but took the initiative to cook every meal his wife needed, 10/10 best cook.
husband! scaramouche who grumbles in annoyance that he has to wear the bright pink kiss the cook apron Childe gave him because his wife found it cute on him.
husband! scaramouche who developed a habit of kissing his wife's wedding ring everytime he's holding her hand.
husband! scaramouche who grumbles all the time when he and his wife shopped together, his hands carrying multiple shopping bags as he follows her around, quote on quote, “I will follow you to the ends of Teyvat with mild complaining.”
husband! scaramouche who insists on making her spend his money despite her being rich herself.
husband! scaramouche who likes to sleep on his wife's lap because he finds it comfortable despite not really needing sleep, her thighs are so soft that he just finds himself dozing off.
husband! scaramouche who has to deal with childe's teasing about him being down bad and a simp which he didn't agree nor he denied, he just told him to off himself as he grumbles back to his shared room with her.
husband! scaramouche despite being married to her for how many centuries, he still longs for her and would pull her very close to him as they slept.
husband! scaramouche who sometimes cries as he feels his wife's rough and calloused hands on his face, her thumbs caressing his cheeks, he just melts in her touch.
husband! scaramouche who would glare at his low ranked subordinates who kept on eyeing his wife as they worked, making those said subordinates training worse than others.
husband! scaramouche who oftentimes write letters for his wife in the middle of the night as she slept peacefully, leaving those said letters at her bedside table before going back under the covers with her, immediately wrapping his arms around her waist and pull their bodies closer.
husband! scaramouche who just smirked at his wife's reaction to his letters because he writes the most poetic and romantic words for her, even would tease her about it.
His letters are often the most romantic or the horrendously down bad, there's no in-between.
husband! scaramouche loving it when his wife would just pepper his face with feather like kisses, leaving lipstick marks all over his face.
husband! scaramouche who kept on moving on his seat to teased her as she did his red eyeliner.
husband! scaramouche who waits impatiently for her in their shared bedroom and would immediately pull her inside once she knocks, closes and locks the door and pushed her against the wall, claiming her lips as his, missing her very dearly considering their offices are right next to each other.
husband! scaramouche who just falls more inlove with her each day.
⊰᯽⊱┈───── ✧ ─────┈⊰᯽⊱
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fqirysim · 6 months
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untitled--
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genre(s): angst, some fluff at the end, exes to best friends to lovers, highschool au, lowercase intended, lots of pov changes
requested: nope !
pairing(s): yang jungwon x reader, ft. yuna (itzy), and intak (p1h)
word count: 7.2k (my longest fic yet ! ) 
warning(s): cursing, underage drinking, a tiny bit of infidelity 
synopsis: you had been in love with yang jungwon since the day you met him. 
note: lowercase is intended, lots of pov changes! (read carefully so you don’t get confused lol). this took me a year to make PLEASE don't judge too harshly i put my heart and soul into this 😭. took me a year to make but could not come up with a title for the life of me, hence why it is called untitled, silly silly me. this was really fun to make though and although it took me a while to make, i'm very proud of it. lmk if you want to be added to my taglist and i will gladly do so !! special thanks to my bestie abby and my bf dean for proofreading love you both <3333
—------
you were certain this was the end of your friendship with jungwon. again. but this time you knew it would be permanent.
he was the boy who lived next door. growing up, you had always admired him from afar. the class president who everyone, including the upperclassmen, seemed to get along with.  
you had liked him until freshman year, when you got tired of pining over someone who didn’t seem to hold any interest in you. as comical as it seems, that was around the time that he had started to take an interest in you. 
and so he courted you, bringing you your favorite drink, walking you home, even coming over for dinner and hanging out at your house. this helped blossom a friendship that no one saw coming, and it wasn’t long until people started to wonder if you two were an item. 
it took two months for jungwon to muster up the courage to ask you to be his girlfriend. 
you were sure you were over your crush on him, that it was just a silly childhood crush. but as you hung out with him more and more, you couldn’t help but fall for him all over again. of course you said yes, because who wouldn’t say yes to the pretty starry-eyed boy standing before you?
jungwon was a nice boyfriend; going on dates quite often, never fought, and he would buy you flowers without being asked.. maybe the latter was why the whirlwind relationship only lasted five months. 
you remember the day so vividly, sitting on the bench at your favorite park; the same park where jungwon had asked you to be his, and here he was, asking you to break up.
 it seemed poetic in a kind of way, starting as his, and leaving as no one’s.
“i’m sorry. i’ve just lost romantic feelings,” jungwon stated, staring down at the grass as a breeze of wind came, the blades of grass swaying slightly. “it’s just that we’ve both been so busy with other things, and i guess we kinda just like, drifted apart because of it.”
“yeah, i think so too,” you replied nonchalantly, ignoring the slight sting in your heart. 
his head snapped up, your eyes finally meeting his, “wait, actually? you’re not lying?” the sound of relief in his voice made your heart feel like it was being squeezed.
“do you want to get rid of me that bad?” you instead teased with a grin. 
“no!” he exclaimed with wide eyes. “i still wanna be friends with you. i might not like you romantically anymore, but i don’t wanna like, lose the friendship we have, you know?”
“yeah,” you replied, “we can still be friends.”
and you two meant it. there were no tears, and no broken hearts (that you would like to admit). it was just a simple case of the right person and the wrong time, and as the years continued, you tried to convince yourself that it was just nothing. that jungwon was not your “right” anything- he was just your best friend, nothing more, nothing less. 
you were almost successful. until your last year of high school approached. 
you and jungwon kept your word, you stayed friends. always being seen together; walking to class, walking home, studying in the library, eating lunch in the cafeteria. 
people still believed you were together, and you always had to correct them, because no you and jungwon were no longer together and no you were not a thing.
they never believed you, though. 
there was always a small part of you that wanted to say yes when someone would ask. that you and jungwon were a thing and that he was yours and you were his. but you never did, callingyourself crazy for even thinking of doing so. 
you found yourself doing it again as yuna had asked you earlier in the week. 
yuna was the new girl this year, having transferred from jyp high. from what you heard, she was nice, smart, and she was gorgeous. you were never one to put yourself down, but you couldn’t say that you didn’t feel insecure standing next to her. 
“no, jungwon and i are not dating,” you smiled politely. it was almost like a script at this point. “we’re just good friends.”
“that’s good to hear,” yuna smiled, her eyes sparkling. “i just wanted to ask him out, but i wasn’t going to if you had a thing!”
“oh, you’re thinking of confessing to him?” you questioned. there was that little part of you again. the part that always said no! tell them you’re a thing! tell them to not do it!
“yeah, he’s in a bunch of my classes. he’s super smart and polite and he always knows how to make me laugh. and he has such pretty eyes,” she sighed dreamily as her mouth formed into a lovesick smile. 
“well, he has that effect on people,” you grinned. 
i would know, you thought.
 “i say go for it! he’s not particularly interested in anyone, you have a good chance.”
“you really think so?” she asked, eyes wide. 
god, i hope not, you thought. as shitty as it was, you didn’t want jungwon to move on. you felt sick at the thought of him being with someone else. 
“why not?” you said instead. “he’ll be at the library after school today studying, i’m supposed to meet him, but i can just tell him something came up.” 
“oh my god, you’re the best!” she squealed, engulfing you in a hug. “thank you thank you thank you.”
“you’re welcome,” you smiled, wrapping your arms around her, ignoring the green monster growing within you.
—----
it had been four days since your conversation with yuna. every time you saw him, you waited for him to bring up the date with baited breath- but he hadn’t said anything. not yet at least.
or maybe yuna simply didn’t ask him on a date. that’s what you were secretly hoping, at least.
it seemed hoping wasn’t enough. on the fifth day jungwon approached you from down the hall with those twinkling eyes and a bright smile you love so much, he seemed more energetic than usual with a little hop in his step. 
“you’re not gonna believe what happened today!” he exclaimed as he reached you at your locker. 
you could believe it. you were the one who hooked yuna up after all. yet you feigned curiosity as you looked at him quizzically, “what is it?”
“yuna asked me on a date! me! of all people! she’s so cool and smart and nice and pretty,” he said with a dreamy look on his face. 
you knew that look. the far away gaze as he thought of her. it was one you would never forget. it’s how he used to look at you. that lovesick grin and those twinkling eyes.
 it had never bothered you before when jungwon had crushes on other girls, because well, that’s all they were. they never escalated into anything more. looking at his lovestruck expression, realization hit that jungwon wasn’t yours anymore. 
you shouldn’t have thought of it that way. you should be happy for him! you should’ve been celebrating with him and cheering him on!  
you couldn’t help the bittersweet smile on your face as you replied, “oh, well that’s nice.”
his smile faltered slightly at your expression, concern slowly forming on his face.  
“are you okay?” he asked. 
“i’m fine, don’t worry,” you said, regaining your composure. “i’m happy for you! and don’t worry about spending less time with me, you’re gonna be a busy guy now! with a girlfriend…”
“okay, she is not my girlfriend. and even if she was, I would never ditch you!” 
“yeah whatever you say, loverboy,” you joked, giving him a playful nudge with your shoulder. 
“no seriously, y/n,” he replied, softly. “are you okay with yuna and i being a thing? i just don’t want it to be weird because you and i used to be a thing, and i know we’re both over that but i just wanted to make sure-,”
“what, me?” you scoffed, cutting the boy off. “what you and i had wasn’t serious, it was just some dumb high school fling.”
even as you spoke those words, you knew they weren’t true. it was more than just a fling. you loved him and maybe you still did. 
silence hung between you, the hallway getting quieter as the remaining students scrambled to their classes, the late bell ringing, leaving you and jungwon in the hallway alone. 
he looked hurt at what you said. you immediately wanted to take it back, to say you didn’t mean it and that he was your first love and you didn’t want him going on that date with yuna. 
“sorry, i shouldn’t have said that,” you muttered, not being able to meet his eyes and instead turning to close your locker. 
“no, you don’t have anything to apologize for,” he replied, as he started to back away, making his way to his class down the hall. “you’re right, it was just a fling, and honestly, it’s so weird to think of us as a couple.” 
it was like your world was falling apart around you as he spoke. did you interpret his hurt expression wrong? maybe this all was one-sided. did he not feel his heart breaking like you did? did he not wonder occasionally (or everyday) how his life would be if you were still together? did he not miss what you had?
maybe there really was nothing between you and jungwon but friendship. 
“yeah, so weird,” you awkwardly smiled, walking to catch up with him. “but you and i, we’re good, right?”
“yep, no worries,” he grinned back. 
“good,” you smiled. “so when’s your date?” 
his eyes brightened ever so slightly as you asked. he started to describe his date– how he was going to take her to the beach and have a picnic and play in the sand. 
you nodded along, your mind wandering off to when jungwon would take you on beach dates, burying him in the sand, splashing him with water and swimming away before he could splash you back. 
you looked over at the boy in question, his starry eyes wide as he talked about his date plans, his smile wide and giddy, his tone as sweet as honey as he talked about her. 
you knew you shouldn’t villainize yuna– she was a nice girl, a very nice one. it wasn’t her fault you were still in love with jungwon, and it surely wasn’t her fault that she liked him. it’s not like you could choose who you could fall in love with. 
you of all people would know. 
so you smiled and nodded along as you walked him to class, listening to him go on and on about his plans. you finally settled with the fact then and there, that jungwon would never be yours again. you had to let go. 
—--------
it has been six months since that day. the day that you had decided to give up. yuna and jungwon have been inseparable since then. 
he kept to his word though; still studying with you after school, showing up when you needed him, hanging out together. sometimes yuna would tag along, which you didn’t mind. she was fun to be around. 
you also didn’t mind being the third wheel when she was around, instead teasing the couple and even offering to take pictures for them. they were a lovely couple and they were seemingly happy– jungwon especially, and that was all that mattered. 
the school year was coming to an end, and seeing as it was your senior year, people were throwing parties almost every weekend. 
you went every once in a while, had some fun, did some underage drinking, even flirted with a couple of people. 
tonight was the party though. 
intak was throwing his first party of the year, and everyone knew his parties were legendary. 
you sat in the uber with jungwon and yuna, anticipating the night before you. you were excited, to say the least. the last time you went to a party was a  month ago, and you were ready to have fun. you even put on your best party outfit for tonight!
you arrived at intak’s house (or more like a mansion), and started to make your way inside until jungwon stopped you. 
“wait! before we go in, i think we should go over some basic safety rules!” jungwon exclaimed. 
you rolled your eyes with a small laugh as you replied, “only you would go over safety rules at a party.” 
“i’m serious, y/n, really bad things could happen,” he shot back with a pointed expression. 
“okay wonie, go ahead, we’re all ears,” yuna smiled supportively.
you ignored the slight heart ache at yuna using your old nickname for jungwon- the one you used when you were together. 
get it together, y/n you thought. letting go, remember?  
you instead smiled and nodded reassuringly at jungwon, who looked over at you to make sure you were paying attention. 
he sighed before continuing, “okay, i won’t be doing any drinking so i can babysit you guys all night. if you need to use the bathroom give your drinks to me so i can watch them. and y/n, if you leave the party at any point, for any reason, please let me know first.”
“sir, yes sir,” you muttered. 
“now let’s go have some fun!” yuna exclaimed, dragging the both of you by the wrists. 
you finally entered the house, where there seemed to be everyone from your school. even kids who graduated last year were in attendance, and as you searched the party for a familiar face that wasn’t jungwon or yuna, intak strolled over, a wide smile on his face. 
“you guys made it!” he shouted over the loud thumping of the music. he was wearing a letterman jacket with a white shirt underneath, and a pair of baggy straight legged jeans. the outfit looked so good on him that you had almost forgotten that you were talking to intak of all people. 
“you look nice, y/n,” he grinned.
you would’ve had a crush on him if he didn’t flirt with every girl he laid eyes on, and it seemed like his victim of the night was you. but damn did he look good right now. 
intak wasn’t a bad guy, he seemed harmless, not like the guys who wouldn’t take no for an answer. he just always flirted, with no intentions of making anything serious. most of the girls he talked to never knew the latter though. 
but you thought it couldn’t hurt, you were here to have fun, and if flirting with intak was the way to do it, then so be it. 
you saw jungwon step forward, about to tell intak to back off and go flirt with someone else, causing you to put your hand on his arm to stop him. 
you also noticed how yuna examined the scene in front of her; jungwon trying to be your knight in shining armor, and you with your hand on his arm to stop him. her eyes narrowed slightly in thought as you dropped your hand and turned to intak. 
“why don’t you get me a drink and then we can talk?” you smiled dazzlingly. you usually reserved smiles like that for when you wanted to flirt and get wasted, and just as usual, it worked like a charm.
“i’ll be right back then,” intak smiled, before making his way through the crowd of bodies in search of a drink for you. 
“really, y/n, intak out of all people?” jungwon questioned, arms crossed. 
“yeah, and what about it?” you replied, feeling slightly annoyed at his tone of voice. he had never acted this way towards you before, but you didn’t like it. it wasn’t his business who you flirted with. he talked to you like you were an idiot and you hated the thought of him looking down on you.  
yuna awkwardly stood between the two of you, not wanting to be in the middle of your fight, but not wanting to go off by herself at a party filled with people she barely knew. 
“‘what about it?’” jungwon mocked your voice in a high pitched tone. “you know how he is, don’t be dumb.”
“dumb? i’m here to have fun, jungwon, not to play third wheel again,” you snapped back. “and why does it matter, you’re not my boyfriend, and you’re not my brother, so it’s really none of your fucking business.”
yuna had been looking back and forth between you and jungwon, watching as you glared at each other, waiting for someone to say something. it was like watching a tennis match. 
at that moment, intak arrived, back with a red solo cup in hand. 
“a drink for the prettiest girl here,” he announced, handing the cup over to you. 
“why thank you love,” you replied with an innocent smile as you looked over at jungwon, still glaring at you, his arms crossed against his chest.
ignoring him, you took a sip of the drink you were given, your face scrunching up at the bitter taste. 
“hey intak, why don’t we go dance?” you asked, reaching for his hand. 
“that sounds like fun,” he replied with a smile of his own before you led him to the dance floor, leaving an enraged jungwon, and a slightly annoyed yuna behind you.
—-----
yuna had seen the way jungwon looked at you. she might have been a bit oblivious at first, but as time went on and she spent more time with the two of you, it became more and more apparent– jungwon had never gotten over you. 
at first yuna thought she could sway him, to get him to fall for her the way he fell for you. but it never worked. he looked at you like you were his own personal angel. no matter where you were, who you were with, how you looked, he was absolutely enraptured by you, and oh, how yuna wished he looked at her like that. 
it had been fifty minutes since your small tussle, and yuna and jungwon sat outside, occupying two pool chairs as he angrily took sips of his water. 
“it’s like she doesn’t even care, she just ran off with him knowing he’ll never want anything serious, knowing he’s gonna lead her on, and i swear when she comes crying to me, i’m gonna tell her ‘i told you’ right to her stupid dumb face,” he rambled, placing his bottle of water harder on the table than he intended to, spilling droplets in the process. 
“well, she’s young and single, and she just wants to have fun baby, there’s nothing wrong with that,” yuna replied. “and she has a point, you’re not her brother or anything, so why do you care so much?”
jungwon  looked up at yuna, not being able to ignore the bitter tone in her voice, “wait, you’re supposed to be on my side.”
“i’m not on anyone’s side, i’m just asking as your girlfriend why you care so much. because honestly, if i didn’t know any better, i would think that you were still in love with her,” yuna sighed, exasperated. 
“i am not in love with her, i like you!” he exclaimed, way faster than he should have. 
yuna wanted to believe him. she wanted to ignore every bit of doubt in her body and believe every lie he fed to her, but she couldn’t. not when she knew you loved him too. it was heartbreaking, really. to watch the person you love pine over someone else. but it was even worse knowing the feelings were reciprocated. 
“don’t lie to me, jungwon,” she deadpanned, feeling her eyes start to water with tears of frustration. “i see the way you look at her, and i know for sure you haven’t gotten over her. you have never once looked at me the way you look at her, and if you like her, just say that. just say that and we can end things here, without having to make this any more heartbreaking than it already is.”
yuna didn’t want to cry. the last thing she wanted to do was cry, but the feelings of anger and embarrassment had overwhelmed her, causing a few traitorous tears to spill. she was angry at herself for letting it get this far, for falling in love with a boy that she knew would never love her back. 
but she was also embarrassed. embarrassed that she had even tried to make an effort, that she had thought she could win him over. 
she wiped her face with the back of her hand, only for more to spill out, a sob fighting for an escape from her quivering lips. 
jungwon raised his hand to wipe the tears away for her, to cup her face and tell her everything would be okay and that he was sorry. but what was he sorry for? sorry for trying to keep you away from intak? or sorry that maybe yuna was right and he did still love you?
just as he opened his mouth to speak, you stumbled out, words slurring and barely able to walk as you stumbled your way over to them. 
“hey guys!” you exclaimed, as a worried intak came rushing out the house behind you. 
“oh god, y/n, are you okay?” jungwon asked, immediately walking over to your side to support your stumbling figure. yuna would have felt bitter over jungwon rushing to your side faster than he had ever run to hers. yet, despite the devil on her shoulder that told her to be petty, she instead felt worried for you. you could barely even stand up straight.
“what the fuck did you do to her?” jungwon asked, throwing an accusatory look at intak.
“nothing dude, i promise! she was the one who wanted to drink, she had like 5 drinks within the span of like, 10 minutes,” intak replied, panicked. “is she going to be okay? does she have a way to get home safely?”
jungwon looked from yuna to you, who was falling asleep just standing there.
“just take her home,” yuna sighed. “i’m not gonna make you choose because we all know who you’d choose every single time.”
“yuna it’s not like that,” jungwon groaned. “listen, i’ll bring her home, and then i’ll come over tomorrow and we can talk this out, okay? i promise.”
“okay, just get her home safe first,” yuna replied. 
you might have been the biggest obstacle in her relationship, but you were still a nice girl, and you had technically done nothing wrong, so yuna had no reason to want to keep you and jungwon apart. you were also wasted as fuck and there was no way you would be able to get home by yourself without something horrible potentially happen to you. 
jungwon grabbed his almost full water bottle from the table he was sitting at, muttering that he would “need it to sober you up”.
he gave yuna one last reassuring smile before he walked away, you on his back as he tried his best to carry you home. 
yuna sighed as she watched you go. she felt like something bad would happen today, something worse than her argument with jungwon, and she wanted nothing else but to go home and cry. 
all she could do was trust jungwon, even if she knew she already lost him, even if she knew she was never a contestant in the first place.
—------
jungwon almost did it. 
he almost carried you all the way home, but his legs felt like they were gonna give out once he reached the park near your house, and he decided then and there that he needed a break. 
he sat you on the playground set, sitting beside you with a huff. 
you were awake by this point, taking long sips of the water bottle jungwon had given you. you wanted to sober up by the time you got home, but it wasn’t really working, with your words still slurring slightly and your mind all dizzy.
the two of you sat in silence as you gazed at the stars and jungwon thought of his argument with yuna. 
maybe she was right. 
even now, as he glanced over at you, studying the stars, his heart skipped a beat and he felt his face warm up. 
“do you remember when you asked me to be your girlfriend in this park?” you chuckled. “we were so young then, it feels like forever ago.”
jungwon was thrown off by the sudden conversation starter, but still smiled, “yeah, i remember it very well. i felt like i was gonna throw up because i was so nervous.”
you turned your head to look at him and giggled as his smile grew wider. 
“what, what are you laughing at?” 
“nothing, i was just so in love with you then. i used to think that we would be together forever and ride off into the sunset in a carriage.” 
jungwon inspected you as you talked, trying to decipher if there was any meaning behind your words or if it was just the liquor talking. 
“i just thought we were some high school fling?” he half-joked as he nudged you with his shoulder. he didn’t want it to seem like he was serious if you were sobering up. 
he felt his heart start to race as he stared at your slightly flushed face from the drinks you had, your hair fluttering as a soft breeze blew by. you were everything that jungwon had ever wanted, and here you were, telling him how much you used to love him. 
wait, no, what the hell am i doing? jungwon thought to himself. it wasn’t fair to yuna. it was already unfair to her that he only started to date her to get over you. he thought that if he dated her long enough, he would stop loving you and love her instead. 
and he genuinely thought it worked. fuck, he thought. i’m such a shitty person. 
until he saw you with intak, flirting, dancing with him, laughing at his jokes, he had never felt so jealous in his life, and yuna had noticed. and she was upset, which was fair. what wasn’t fair was jungwon using her to get over you. 
use. he hated the icky feeling that word gave him. 
“i lied,” you muttered, snapping him out of his thoughts. 
“what did you say?” jungwon asked, making sure that he had heard you right. 
“i lied,” you repeated, eyes on everything but him. “i loved you, and i think i still do.” 
your eyes finally met his as you continued, “you are everything to me, jungwon. i’ve been in love with you since forever, and i only agreed to break up because you said you wanted to.”
jungwon could feel his heart starting to beat faster as he searched your eyes for any hesitation, any sign that this was a lie, or some sort of joke. his heart beat so fast he felt like he was gonna explode as he looked into your eyes, so earnest and so genuine and so filled with love that he knew you had sobered up. 
you reached for his hands in his lap, interlacing your fingers with his. 
“i can’t keep this from you,” you breathed. “i love you, yang jungwon, and i know you’re dating yuna, but i just have to tell you that i love you, that i always have and it’s okay if you don’t feel the same. i don’t expect you to leave her for me or anything, but i can’t help it anymore. i love you, i love you, i love you.”
silence hung over the two of you as he tried to form a coherent sentence after your confession. it felt like suddenly his brain didn’t know how to make him talk, to make him say i love you too, or to make him do anything, really. 
a minute passed, and then two as jungwon searched your eyes with the same desperation yours had– desperate to love and to be loved by the person sitting in front of you. 
jungwon didn’t know who leaned closer first. he thought it was you but maybe it was him. he didn’t even feel like he was in control of his body as he leaned closer and closer, his hand moving to hold your face, searching your face for any hesitation, for any kind of doubt.
 you were so close that he could smell the perfume you sprayed before you left your house and the drinks that you had earlier that night. 
impatient, jungwon finally closed the gap between the two of you, your soft lips colliding with his. he could have kissed you forever, wanting to stay forever in time there. until realization hit him.
yuna.
he pulled away abruptly, your eyes still closed as you chased his lips with yours. he would have found it cute if he weren’t trying his best not to panic right now. he just kissed you. while he was still dating yuna. 
he thought of the look on yuna’s face if she found out– the angry, hurt expression that she had at the party, and even worse, the tears. he would break the poor girl’s heart. 
“i should go,” jungwon breathed, quickly standing up from his seat beside you. “it’s almost past my curfew.”
“wait, jungwon,” you said, grabbing onto the sleeve of his shirt before he could walk away. “i think we should talk about this before you go.”
“yeah, we can talk later,” he replied dismissively. “i just need some time to think.”
you opened your mouth to say something else– anything else to make him stay, but closed it as you saw he was already speed-walking in the direction of his house. 
you thought that you would lose him forever after your breakup.  you had almost lost jungwon once, and you were nearly positive that you won’t be so lucky to keep him this time. 
you felt sick to your stomach, and you didn’t know if it was from the drinks or from the events that had just occurred, but nonetheless you felt nauseous. 
you hunched over as you started to gag, your vomit flowing out of your mouth, tears streaming down your face. 
you wiped your mouth with your sleeve, rinsing your mouth out with water as you started to tear up. 
before you knew it, you felt sobs rising, your nose stuffed from crying,  your throat getting dry from the sobbing. the embarrassment and sorrow was finally catching up to you– all of the years of repressed love you felt for jungwon, all of the embarrassment from him leaving after you confessed, embarrassment from being a homewrecker– it all came crashing down on you. 
you couldn’t go home like this. you were sober enough to know that, with your tear streaked face, ruined makeup, and vomit smelling breath your parents would put two and two together. 
your hands shakily reached for your phone in your back pocket, dialing your brother’s number and waiting for him to pick up with baited breath. your brother was your only hope. 
“hello?” 
“chan?” you breathed into the phone. “i need to sleepover at your place.”
—----
yuna hated this. 
the waiting, the feeling of dread as she sat on her bed, awaiting jungwon’s arrival. 
the fight that had ensued was horrible, but she believed she made a valid point. if he likes y/n so much he should just go be with her, she thought bitterly. 
jungwon had texted her last night at around 1 in the morning, just to make sure she got home safe. yuna didn’t respond. she instead left him on read, still pissed off from the fight.
she used to get butterflies when he would send her texts to make sure she got home safe. but now she didn’t know if he did it because he liked her or if it was just out of common courtesy. 
yuna was about to just walk to his house herself before she heard a knock on her door. 
“hey it’s uh, me,” she heard jungwon’s muffled voice through the door. “is it okay if i come in?” 
“yeah, let’s get this over with.”
she couldn’t meet his eyes as he walked in, striding over to the corner of her bed. yuna hated waiting, but she now felt dread as the pair sat in silence for a bit, the tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. she had sat nowhere near him.
 usually she’d be cuddled into his side, but she instead opted to sit at the head of her bed, seemingly as far away from him as possible. she was worried that if she was too close to him, she’d crack; she’d look at his doe eyes and forgive him and that would ruin the entire point of her argument. 
“so,” she cleared her throat, interrupting the silence. “did y/n get home safe?” 
“yeah, she’s at her brother’s apartment. he texted me when she got there.”
 “‘when she got there?’ did you not walk her there?” 
“no, he picked her up from the park near our houses. but anyways, i have something important to tell you.” 
yuna felt even more dread seeping into her as he finished his sentence. she should’ve seen this coming from the start. here it comes: the breakup. 
“i kissed y/n last night.” 
yuna’s eyes widened in surprise. she had expected the breakup, yes. she knew jungwon was emotionally cheating, but now he was physically cheating? 
“wait, are you being serious right now?” she laughed in astonishment. she couldn’t believe the audacity of the man sitting in front of her. 
“i know it’s bad. i feel horrible, because an amazing woman like you should never be treated as horrible as i’ve treated you, and i am so so sorry,” jungwon started, tearing up from how bad he felt. “all of the apologies in the world could never make up for how i’ve treated you. i’ve made you feel terrible and i’m just making it worse by breaking up with you to be with her.” 
“i love y/n, yuna. and i’m sorry that i didn’t tell you, or that you had to find out for yourself before i even knew. you are so so perfect yuna-,”
“but i’m just not perfect for you?” she replied, tears starting to form as she breathed those words. 
the silence that followed was more than enough to answer her question. 
she hated this. she hated this so so much. but she didn’t hate you, or jungwon. she just hated how love worked, how she had to fall in love with the one boy who couldn’t love her back. she hated that she gave her heart away to a boy that was never going to belong to her– not fully. 
she wanted to scream, to throw something, hell, maybe even hit him. she instead took a deep breath, composing herself before she said, “okay. go be with her then.” 
jungwon looked over at her, wanting nothing but to comfort yuna. he may not be in love with her, but he did love her, and he still cared for her. 
“i’m sorry, yuna,” jungwon said instead. “you’re an amazing girl, but you should never be anyone’s second choice, and i’m sorry for making you feel like mine.” 
yuna couldn’t even look at him, fidgeting with the strings of the hoodie she wore. 
“just leave, please,” she muttered. 
she didn’t want him to see her cry, he had already broken her once, she didn’t want him to see her fall apart again. 
with a guilty expression, jungwon hurried away, also not wanting to see her cry again. he felt gross. he felt disgusted with himself for treating her that way. he didn’t like the person he was with yuna, and he felt sick thinking about how heartbroken she was; how she was so hurt that she couldn’t even look at him. 
—------
it has been two weeks since your kiss with jungwon, and you hadn’t heard a word from him since. not a single call or text, hell, he didn’t even acknowledge your existence when you walked by him in the halls. 
you had seen yuna around, but seeing as jungwon wasn’t joined at her hip like he used to be, you assumed that things didn’t end quite so well between the two. knowing that you were the cause made you want to never show your face ever again, especially because of the dirty looks yuna’s friends have been giving you. 
you were relieved it was the last day of the school year; you’d never have to see yuna again and feel the guilt at seeing the sadness in her eyes. 
you walked into the bathroom, wanting to wash your hands after eating your lunch, when you saw yuna, touching up on her makeup in the mirror. she looked at you through the mirror above the sink, before going back to her makeup. 
the tension was so thick you didn’t know if you should just leave or hide in a bathroom stall until she left. 
“i’m not gonna bite, you know,” yuna chuckled. 
you smiled back nervously as you started to make your way to the sink. 
“yuna i’m really sorry,” you sighed, mustering whatever courage and dignity you had left. 
“it’s okay,” yuna replied, finally meeting your gaze. “although it was wrong for you guys to have kissed, i saw the breakup coming from miles away. he was never mine to begin with.” 
you were taken aback just by how calm she was, with the way she spoke those words with such elegance and grace. she had every right to be angry with you, to yell at you and call you a homewrecker. 
“even if you did think you were going to break up, that still doesn’t excuse what i did, and i really am sorry,” you said, trying to project every feeling of sympathy and sincerity you could in that one sentence. “i’m not asking you to forgive me, or jungwon, but i just wanted to tell you that you really are a cool person, and you’ve always been so kind to me, even now. all of this for a boy, and he hasn’t even talked to me in the past two weeks.”
“wait, he hasn’t reached out to you at all?” yuna asked, confused. “i thought he would say something to you at least.” 
“did he say he would?” you replied, confusion reaching you as well. 
“no,” yuna replied, fixing her hair in the mirror. “i just assumed so because he’s in love with you.”
once again, you were stunned by her nonchalance. “he’s not in love with me.” 
“don’t be silly,” yuna smiled softly. “i can’t tell if dating jungwon was the best or worst six months of my life, to be honest.” 
“don’t get me wrong, he was a good boyfriend,” yuna backtracked quickly after seeing the guilt on your face. “he did the usual boyfriend stuff, and he really did try, but i could just always tell that his heart was always yours.” 
you couldn’t meet yuna’s gaze as she said this, your face hot with shame. you felt so bad for her, and you didn’t quite know what to say in response. 
“i’m sorry that things ended this way,” you finally said. 
“it’s okay, it was gonna happen sooner or later,” yuna replied. “but if i’m right, then you should probably go talk to him, he’s probably going insane with guilt right now over me, and over you. bro’s got a lot on his plate.” 
you gave a small chuckle at the last sentence, making yuna smile a bit. 
“well thank you for the talk yuna, but i’ve gotta go. i think i need to go find jungwon.” 
yuna felt her heart break a bit at the words, but she smiled anyways and said bye as she watched you leave the bathroom. yuna didn’t know if she was supposed to cry or feel happy for you and jungwon, but she did know that she was right. again. she knew his heart had always belonged to you. anyone could see that. 
—--------
trying to find jungwon was easier than you expected. he was sitting on a swing, at the park that you became his, then wasn’t his anymore, and then confessed your love to him. there was so much that had happened at this park that it made your head hurt a bit just thinking about it. 
“is it okay if i sit here?” you asked, motioning to the swing beside him. 
“of course you can,” jungwon replied. 
the two of you sat in silence.
“i don’t think we should be friends anymore,” you finally spoke up. 
he jerked his head to look at you, shock coursing through him. “wait, why not?”
you took a deep breath before saying, “i can’t be friends with you anymore because i’m in love with you. there hasn’t been a moment since i’ve met you that i haven’t been.” 
his heart skipped a beat at your words. 
this was it, this is what you’d been waiting for since the day you laid eyes on jungwon. but you didn’t think it would go quite like this. you sat there for a moment as jungwon studied you, and you wished he would say something, anything. 
“but did you ever consider how i felt?” he finally asked, his voice cracking ever so slightly. “have you ever considered that maybe i’ve felt the same way?” 
you felt your breath catch in your throat as he continued, “i’ve seen you everyday since we were five when your family moved in next door. but i didn’t really see you until freshman year, sitting in class by the window, your hair flowing from the breeze that came through, doodling in your notebook instead of paying attention to the lesson. and when you caught me staring, you smiled and waved, and i swear i fell in love with you that day. that day, i knew my heart would always be yours.” 
“so please,” jungwon pleaded. “please, do whatever you want with it. you could break it a million times over and it would still be yours.”
now this, this was exactly you had always dreamed of. 
you couldn’t stop yourself from kissing him, trying to convey all the repressed love you’ve had for him for years through the kiss. you loved him. you loved every single part of jungwon, every flaw, every imperfection, everything that made him him. 
“so does this mean we’re official?” jungwon grinned as he pulled away, a playful look in his eyes. you smiled back, feeling the heart eyes in your gaze and the way your heart melted just by looking at him. 
“took you long enough.” 
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