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lance-space-mommy · 3 months

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Riding a Wave That Never Breaks

Manga spoilers and Dark themes

Sometimes you can’t escape your inner demons no matter how much time has passed. Four amazing years may pass, but that darkness is only one storm away.

Midoriya struggled a lot with depression growing up. Despite having a loving mother and a safe home environment, the torture he suffered through the day was too much.

Midoriya loved everything about the hero world and how he could escape into fantastic fantasies. He was constantly diving deep, imagining alternate universes where he was respected by his peers. Midoriya craved positive attention or for the hollow feeling inside him to vanish.

On the days Midoriya didn’t have school, he’d curl up in his bed and never move. Unless his mother sweetly called him for dinner or suggested some bonding time, the day was spent wasting away underneath a comforter.

Midoriya was lucky to have met Toshinori. The man gave Midoriya a sense of purpose that he had been missing. Toshinori saw something in Midoriya that Midoriya never saw in himself. It was like he was reborn, suddenly showered in affection, and given a list of things to do to better himself.

Midoriya trained his mind and body every day. Midoriya was eating healthy and filling meals three times a day. By the end of the day, Midoriya was ready to sleep. With getting proper sleep, intake of nutrients, and producing endorphins through intense training, Midoriya was feeling much better.

Despite the upward climb, there were times Midoriya gave into the gloom. He’d skip showering, not study, ignore the tangles in his hair, never change out his uniform at the end of the day, sleep the day away, not sleep at all, and a plethora of other things he did when things were getting bad.

Neglecting his needs was one thing, but he’d harm himself in more direct ways. He never thought much about it, simply seeing it as a way to relieve the tension in his head and the tightness in his chest. He did it in places he knew would never see the light of day.

In a short two years, Midoriya was seventeen and dealing with mountains of trauma he didn’t know how to digest. Midoriya was surrounded by people who brought out the best in him, but he could feel himself slipping.

“I’m not hungry, sorry.”

“I really needed to catch up on sleep.”

“Can we reschedule? I’m so sorry something came up.”

“Sorry, I’m a bit behind on my studies.”

“Maybe some other time?”

Midoriya slowly withdrew himself from his peers. With the door locked, lights off, and the silence of the soundproof walls made it easy for the sickening sweet voice in the back of his mind to grow louder.

“Was this all worth it?”

“You served your purpose, you aren’t needed anymore.”

“They probably are happy you aren’t around as much.”

“That sounds like so much work.”

“You really can’t amount to anything.”

“A lazy hero is good for nothing.”

With an empty stomach and an ache in his heart, Midoriya closed his eyes and slept the dark thoughts away. When an alarm broke him out of his nightmare, he slept through his usual morning run.

It didn’t take long for everyone to notice something was off. Todoroki, worried and unsure of what to do in this situation, practically fed Midoriya lunch, not giving him a chance to skip a meal. If he had to guilt-trip Midoriya into it he would.

“I got this just for you,” revealed Todoroki, extending out the warm bowl of katsudon.

Midoriya would softly smile, sitting next to his best friend and enjoying the warm meal. The perfect crunch of the breading and the juiciness of the pork nearly brought him to tears. It didn’t matter what meal it was, Midoriya would swallow every last bite to respect his friend's kindness.

Bakugo talked with Toshinori and Aizawa, knowing that they may no longer be Midoriya’s teachers, but they were parental figures. He knew something was wrong and this was bigger than him and his classmates. Aizawa and Toshinori weren’t constants in Midoriya’s life, but their value remained. Their assistance would mean so much more than the nineteen people who are constantly around him.

During the war, Midoriya never once reached out for help when he was working himself to death. If Midoriya was experiencing something that was troubling him or he couldn’t save himself from whatever he was going through, Bakugo would pull him out.

It seemed that Toshinori and Aizawa had a hunch that something like what was happening would happen soon enough. Aizawa knew very well that the trauma Midoriya refused to acknowledge would come back tenfold.

Toshinori knew the psychological damage he experienced over the years by dealing with his demons. Being the number one hero and having the entire world on his shoulders was a burden he wouldn’t wish on anyone. That’s why he originally gave Midoriya the quirk. He believed he was simply passing on a powerful quirk.

When it came out that All for One was not dead and that he had a successor, Toshinori felt guilt consume him. He put Midoriya in a situation far worse than the one he’d lived through.

Midoriya watched nearly all the people he cared about die and/or be on the brink of death. Midoriya watched thousands of innocent people die, unable to do anything. There was an evil far worse than any the world had seen before and Midoriya had to face it himself.

Midoriya had to shove all his emotions deep down as he was forced to see the corpse of someone he cherished dearly. Midoriya was a kid but wasn't in a position to handle the situation as one.

Midoriya was struggling with the trauma of the war and the pressure he was put under. Midoriya would forever be scarred from the responsibility placed in his hand. Yet, deep down, Midoriya was ashamed of the itch he had to be important.

There was this craving for chaos and the fight to the death. Suddenly nothing was going on and the feeling of worthlessness settled in. Midoriya didn't want innocent people to die again or for the world to be in danger, but he felt like something was missing without the danger.

The guilt of missing something so horrible killed him more than what he was put through. Maybe they were interconnected in some way but, in Midoriya's mind, wanting it to happen again was a different trauma response than his episode of depression.

Sometimes, Midoriya's brain filled itself with noise when the world was too quiet. The earth-shattering sounds of the battle and his scream mixing with the screams of the rest of the world would haunt him. The rare spots on his wall where there was no All Might merchandise, Midoriya's eyes would focus on the white wall and let the rest of his room fade away.

Midoriya could fall into a staring contest with his wall while standing, sitting, or lying down. There were no limits and he usually would catch himself doing it whenever he was in the security of his room. These moments of pure disassociation could last from anywhere of a couple of seconds to over an hour.

It was Saturday night and Bakugo was going to drag Midoriya down to study with the class. He figured surrounding him with everyone would help get him out of his head a bit. He always liked to think he knew Midoriya the best, but he didn't know the first thing to do to help Midoriya snap out of whatever mental decline he was trapped in.

"Izuku, I'm coming in," announced Bakugo, hand already turning the door handle.

Bakugo didn't think much about not receiving any response and opened the door. Midoriya was on his bed, lying on his side as he stared at his wall motionlessly.

"Nerd?"

Midoriya didn't seem to notice Bakugo or even signal he heard Bakugo address him. Bakugo started panicking, worried Midoriya was unresponsive. Bakugo started looking over Midoriya after dropping to his knees beside the bed.

"Shit, Izuku. Look at me!" begged Bakugo, reaching to check for a pulse. He cursed himself for not paying closer attention to Midoriya's health. It took seconds for Bakugo to feel the steady thumping of Midoriya's pulse under his fingers.

Midoriya blinked, feeling the warm touch and wanting to lean into it. His vision of the wall was blocked by Bakugo's worried expression and he couldn't help but feel like everything was okay for this split second in time.

Tears started falling and Midoriya couldn't find the strength in himself to stop. Midoriya let his whole body shake with each sob he let rip through his body. He hated feeling so hopeless and feeling stuck in such a horrible mindset. It was a scary feeling to have no control over.

Bakugo didn't need to hear anything to know that Midoriya needed him at that moment. Bakugo reached for Midoriya's hand and took it securely in his own before resting his forehead against Midoriya's. Rough and crooked fingers intertwined and squeezed soft and powerful fingers.

"I don't know what to do Kacchan," wept Midoriya, feeling safe to express himself.

Bakugo remained quiet momentarily before letting his gut do the talking. "You don't have to know what to do all the time. Sometimes life sucks and you have to let others make it less shitty."

Midoriya cried harder, pulling out his other hand to gently wrap it against Bakugo's wrist. "I can't do this anymore."

"And you don't have to. I'm here. If you can't handle burdens on your own, I'm here. Let me help, Izuku," stressed Bakugo, brushing Midoriya's bangs out of his forehead. "I'll be there to save you every time you need a hero."

Midoriya felt like the room was no longer caving in on him and that the world finally had air to spare. His grip on Bakugo momentarily tightened before he took a deep breath. There was something so incredible about Bakugo and how he never failed to be Midoriya's anchor. Bakugo never failed to reach his hand out to lift Midoriya out of the pit he was trapped in.

“Let’s go take a shower, grab you something to eat, and how about we go study? You don’t need to be alone and if you get overwhelmed we can ditch,” guided Bakugo as he removed his one hand from Midoriya’s bangs to poke his freckles.

Still feeling vulnerable, Midoriya let out a shaky breath. “Yeah, can you just stay here with me for a bit?”

Bakugo rose from his uncomfortable position and crashed beside Midoriya on his bed. “You could ask me to destroy the world and I’d do it.”

Midoriya smiled, feeling his cheeks heat up by the powerful confession. “You sure know how to make a boy feel special.”

“After existing in a world without you… I never wanted to experience it again.”

Midoriya suddenly realized he had something he could use to anchor himself down. He remembered seeing Bakugo lying in the crumbling field of injured heroes. He remembered the dread that filled him upon seeing the sickeningly beautiful sight of Bakugo’s peaceful resting expression. The crushing horror of seeing his unbreathing, bloodied body would forever haunt his dreams.

Why would he give up a life where Bakugo was right next to him?

“I never want to experience it either,” professed Midoriya, feeling a warmth fill his chest, seeing the scars that littered Bakugo’s body. Those scars were proof that this boy before him would always defy and twist fate to come back to him.

The downward spiral ended when he was forced to remember every wonderful thing he had to live for. He had to live for Bakugo, Todoroki, Uraraka, Eri, Aizawa, Toshinori, his mother, and the surplus of people whom he never wanted to live without.

Overcoming depression wasn’t easy and his recovery wasn’t going to be fast. There would be those moments when the exhaustion that filled him was too much or the pressure of outside expectations killed his appetite and kept him up at night. The battle was a lot easier being surrounded by people who never failed to bring a smile to his face.

Freshly cleaned and fed, Midoriya had his bookbag filled with unfinished homework and study guides. Bakugo was right next to him, wearing an accomplished grin as he plopped down next to Midoriya. The excited greetings of his classmates washed away any bits of anxiety that he may have had left.

“Ready to get this study game on?” questioned Kirishima happily upon seeing two of his best buds appear together.

“Yeah! I’ll admit I’m a bit behind,” admitted Midoriya meekly.

Iida seemed to not care about the fact that Midoriya got behind on schoolwork and smiled warmly. “Well let’s get you caught up!”

Midoriya eagerly nodded, feeling the buzz of his classmate's excitement rub off on him. They were all gathered together to study, but Midoriya couldn’t help but be overjoyed to be with them at that moment.

Things would be okay.

#izuku midoriya #midoriya izuku #boku no hero academia #mha #my hero academia #bnha #bnha fanfiction #mha deku #mha fanfiction #bakugo katsuki #mental health #tw depressing stuff #tw self destruction #tw sh related #minor spoilers

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siriusfan13 · 7 months

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Just plugging my time travel fic if anyone is interested. It will eventually contain some DadMight.

#bnha #all might #mha #toshinori yagi #yagi toshinori #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bnha all might #writing #fanfiction #midoriya izuku #izuku midoriya #deku #recovery girl #time travel #timetravel #chiyo sh #chiyo shuuzenji #shuuzenji chiyo

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thatmilkshakedragon · 9 months

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Gonna talk about this guy for a second because I genuinely feel like no one is talking about this/ not enough coverage about the Deku headcannons made in the bnha/mha fandom.

I'm gonna spit it out now, I think Bakudeku is the most overrated ship I have ever seen, in any fandom, period. I also think that Deku is one of the most shit on characters by a fandom that doesn't really deserve to get shit on. There is so much I can say about this, but for the purposes of you, the reader, I'll try and keep this as short as I can.

ALSO GONNA SAY THIS NOW, MY OPINION IS NOT GOSPEL. SHIP BAKUDEKU IF YOU WANT, MAKE DEKU SAD EMO BOY IF YOU WISH, THATS YOUR CHOICE. IM JUST NOT GONNA WATCH YOUR CONTENT AND IM SIMPLY SAYING THE REASONS WHY.

OFFICIAL CONTENT WARNING FROM HERE : I will be talking about alot of sensitive topics in this post but the main ones I will be covering are Underage Sex, SH, depression etc. Also there will be slight spoilers for the show ( I haven't watched it so don't expect anything massive )

So let's talk about Boku no Hero Academia/ My Hero Academia. Alot of you know about this show already, but for those who don't :

Boku No Hero Academia/ My Hero Academia is an Manga Series turned anime, originally illustrated and written by Kōhei Horikoshi. In the series, we follow a Teenager called Izuku Midoriya (Deku for short) , who is a "quirkless" boy lives in a world of "quirks" (superpowers). He still dreams of being a superhero, and he gets scouted by his hero, "All might", who bestows his powers onto him after seeing his potential, and also helps to get him into a prestigious high school for superheroes in training.

Now in this anime, there is another boy called Katsuki Bakugo, who has bullied Deku ever since he was a child. When they were in middle school, the bullying did not stop, and now in high school they continued to be rivals/ Deku being bullied by Bakugo.

Now there is absolutely nothing wrong with headcannons/au's, in fact, I think headcannons/au's are one of the building blocks of fandom. But there is a certain point in which these Au's can cross a line, and unfortunately in the Bnha/Mha fandom, that line is crossed a fair bit.

Let's start with bakudeku, the thing that sparked this whole post in the first place. At the start of this post I said it was overrated, and I stand by that. The amount of hype I see of these two getting in a relationship fills me with absolute agony. THESE TWO AREN'T COMPATIBLE IN THE SLIGHTEST. Yes, Katsuki may have character development that I have not seen, since I do not watch this show ( the reasons why can get a post on its own ), but from the clips I've seen of Katsuki, he just seems like a huge jackass towards EVERYONE. The only people he does respect are adults who can beat the shit out of him, and that's really sad. Now let's get to Izuku. I'm not very sure but personally I don't think he will be shipped with anyone, at least not for the time being. Izuku seems focused on becoming a hero at the moment in the series, so I'd highly doubt that he will be getting into a relationship.

Now lets get into another reason for why Izuku is shit upon. The amount of Batsuit insane stuff that the Bnha/Mha fandom has produced. This segment doesn't just run for deku either, this can be for arguably every character in the show (besides grape guy everyone agrees he is a dick) Fanfiction is in my opinion, the core part of a thriving fandom, alongside Fanart and Headcannons, but the amount of fanfiction that has Izuku as a cat maid for todoroki or some shit along the lines of that IS INSANE. A bunch of these characters aren't aged up either, which makes it even more fucking gross. Like youre writing 2 teenagers fucking each other in their rooms which they still have like stuff up from when they were 10 or some shit. I do know about Japan's fucked up sex culture quite a bit, and how the age of consent is lowered there, but this is still a huge problem regardless.

Let's stop with the CP, and now go onto depressed Deku. I also see in the Bnha/Mha fandom, that there is a lot of content about Deku being depressed or like not mentally ok. In alot of these headcannons, there's usually an event where a character will find Deku's arms with giant slits on them, or they will find blood on Deku's clothes, and Deku will try and deny that he is depressed, or go into a massive breakdown. These headcannons usually involve Deku going to a mental institution to seek help, and along the way fall in love with a character ( I lied there's more ship content ) . My personal opinion, these are disgusting headcannons. Yet again, this guy is still in his teens, and you're putting him into crazy scenarios not many teens have.

The last point I have to make is the plague that this character made upon fandom. From Gacha, to Ao3 to Tumblr, the shittyfied Deku has taken over fandom spaces like these. The amount of gacha content surrounding Deku (usually in a relationship with a character) is fucking insane. For every 20 videos you can find on YouTube of Bnha/Mha, at least 15 will be bakudeku. There's not much normal content anymore on the fandom, because the shitty deku has taken over, and I find that really sad.

It's a genuine shame that Deku has been tested like this, because he seems like suck a great character for this anime, but the fandom has just betrayed him. It's saddening seeing the showrunners get harassed for not shipping Deku with anyone, rather then actually critiquing things wrong with the show ( like directing, writing, comedy etc ). Idk man, this whole thing just makes me really sad.

if you do need some guidance for your mental health, you're under 18, and you live in Ireland or the UK, then call ChildLine, they are a brilliant organisation who listens and lets you vent and lets you be heard. To find out more go to www.childline.co.uk for more info.

Please for the love of God reblog this I spent over an hour on it and it's 20 past 1 in the morning kill me 🤠

#bnha #mha #deku #fucked up fandom #its 1 am #tw #anti bakudeku #blood #tw depressing stuff #tw sh related

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greatdecaygreatrenewal · 1 year

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imagine after tenko gets saved he gets sentenced to not to prison but to live under surveillance @ Izuku’s place. im just imagining all the possible crazy sibling moments between them.

like inko putting those boys into check when they’re arguing who gets to play p1 on the ps or toshinori coming over to say hi and tenko makes his experience the most uncomfortable and unsettling everytime he comes over.

#sh*gadeku fans dni #mha #bnha #shigaraki #tomura shigaraki #tenko shimura #shigaraki headcanons #izuku midoriya #deku #deku headcanons

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ihatebnha · 2 years

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Another idea, predator! Izuku is considered a bit of a softy among his kind but proved his worth with his victories. Also has the tendency to meddle in saving "weaker" species. "Saves" a cutie like you and who else does he trust to take care of you but his comrade Bakugou!

(more predator stuff here and here!)

DJHRJDJKJJ softy predator!Deku who's looked down upon for having a bleeding heart... but also slightly revered cuz he only ever fights or hunts prey that's "on par" w/ his strength (and he always ends up winning)...

BUT... because of, there's all these cases of him telling weaker targets to scram (albeit, gently)... so I imagine, maybe, that's how he finds you? Except he's surprised because, instead of just running from him, you only cower... as it turns out you're injured🥺

Darn his bleeding heart for getting him again!!!

Anyway, that's how he ends up taking you in. Swears he's just gonna nurse you back to health and then release you so that another worthy predator can catch you as a trophy, but... of course that doesn't work when he ends up taking kind of a liking to you, instead.

Likes when you tell him about your family, the foods from your planet... all the little fever-induced daydreams.

Probably, Bakugo is the only one who knows about it all, as Deku would literally be shamed or WORSE for taking prey in, maybe even forced to kill you... but they argue about it, still. Bakugo calling Deku weak, Deku calling Bakugo all sorts of things... even if it's later how they end up taking shifts when it comes to caring for you.

And though Bakugo swears he's gonna kill you the moment you can stand... he also... can't help but feel a bit warm when you cuddle into his side to help yourself fall asleep.

Predator!Deku walks into the sight and is JEALOUS lol!!!

#bakugo #deku #asjdakkljaskldj #for some reason this was super hard to write (like phrasing wise) so if it seems a little wonky i apologize #i just love the whole like... taking care of someone thing #esp in a cave LOL begrudingly #begrudgingly ***#probably bc of the hunger games tbh but alsoo #put your head on my shoulder :((( except im a scary alien :((((#u know the vibes #any hope this is like. not sh*tty #ask #anon #caitie things #alien tw #monster tw

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tae-shimura-is-my-wife · 2 years

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I can't go to bnha fandom outside of tumblr, because Izuku slander is too much for me...

#bnha #midoriya #midoriya izuku #deku #midoriya deserves better #i can't #generally idc abt ppl disliking characters #BUT HOLY SH*T #IZUKU CAN'T BREATH WITHOUT PPL GETTING MAD AT HIM #there's ppl who try to make izuku a bad person #for no reason #and all of them stan charas with the same aspects they criticize abt deku #there's a lot of haters here too #don't get me wrong #but here there's a way to filter this things #i don't see them bc i filtered the tags #in other places is kinda impossible to avoid ir #it*

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thelittlegreensnek · 1 year

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help? Anyone there? Im new and looking for a fanfic? gosh I sound stupid

HELP PLS I NEED TO FIND SOMETHING So this is my first time using Tumblr and I have no ducking clue how this works but I'm kinda hoping someone sees this if this is how it works. A lonnnnnnggggggg time ago I read a fanfic on Tumblr that I absolutely loved. One problem: I lost it. So I am just putting everything I know here hoping somebody reads this and knows what I'm talking about.

It was a My Hero Academia fanfic with y/n's quirk being being ale to like let knives come out of her hands like Wolverine or something? Also I don't even know the pronouns used in this fanfic sorry😭I think it was y/n x deku and y/n x bakugo and the reader could choose at the end. Im not even crushing on any of those two but I just loved the story. there was something with y/n doing the unalive thingy by yeeting themself off a building and then they end up in the hospital. And Bakugo and Deku are kinda sad I guess that they weren't able to stop them. I mean they saved them but they still jumped. And in the hospital they try to unalive themselves once again with their quirk but Aizawa is there and un-activates it or whatever. And they say sorry because they think they caused him trouble or something? Also I think the author first wrote the fanfic for a friend but changed the pronouns before posting it here?

Im sorry guys my mind is really foggy but it was ages ago okay

Could someone pls help me find it? Also, since I just made this account and am new to Tumblr could someone teach me how sh!t works around here? what different buttons do and if you can curse here without having to put a warning first? Thanks in advance!!!! Now I just click Post now I guess?

#mha #help pls #help needed #search #bakugo #deku #y/n #is this enough?#will people even see this?#and will people be able to answer?#do I get like a notification if they do?#My language isnt even English so some sh!t just confuses me here aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa #ok bye #still there?#ok im bored #lets read or draw or write I guess #should probably learn tho #hmmm okay then I hope I can hold my attention this time

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cranberrie07 · 2 years

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Mha this chapter

#my hero acedamia #chapter 366 #deku #tomura shiragaki #sh*tpost

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fever-dreamer97 · 6 months

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Todoroki and Izuku, chilling in the lobby:

Bakugo, from the kitchen: WHO HAS MY FU*KING GRAPEFRUIT?!

Izuku, stops eating the grapefruit: Oh sh-

Bakugo, runs in and sees Izuku: DEKU!

Izuku, screams as Bakugo grabs him by the leg and drags him off the couch and out of the room: AHHH!

Todoroki, just watching the whole thing happen:

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theloveinc · 10 months

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dad!katsuki who lets his kids walk on his back as he lies down on the floor because his back is sore and he doesn’t feel like paying for a masseuse <3

NO BUT THIS IS LITERALLY ME TOO!!! Practically every child I meet gets this treatment from me if there’s anywhere I can lie down jejkeennf (sadly not at work tho, given we’re always outside or in a cafeteria LOL)

BUT YES THO, and he does it even when the kids are big too because he keeps saying he wants more and more pressure… except by the time they’re like 15-16, the whole house is worried they’re gonna give him a hernia or crack his spine on accident lmfaoooo.

Kiri and Deku are always talking about getting him set up with their own physical therapists (hyping up how good their massages are and stuff) but Bakugo is so stupid bc his answer to them is always like “uhhh why would I need that when I have children?”

#Bakugo #sorry this is sh*tty I’m at work #but LITERALLLLLLY he’s like ‘stomp on me’#and if the kids jump and bounce he’s so happy #meanwhile it’s ray treatment in comparison to deku LOL #Denki is like this too #or rather… his kids do this very well #LOL #caitie answers #cognacrevived #cog!!#caitie things

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justauthoring · 1 year

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"It's my fault."

Huffing, you shake your head. "Stop that," you hiss, turning to Bakugou with a glare; "it isn't."

But he doesn't argue. Doesn't huff or puff, or yell at you for glaring at him or throwing attitude. Any sort of normal attributes that Bakugou displays almost on a daily fall silent and instead, you watch as his eyes flicker across you, taking in every inch, and he just sighs.

"But it is," he says; and it almost doesn't sound like him because of how soft his voice is.

"It isn't," you huff, desperate to make him understand. "I chose to go out there. You didn't make me."

You now you're right. Everything you say is completely and whole-heartedly right... but you couldn't see what he could. Not in the same way. Not in the way it looked to him, and nor could you hear the thoughts that fluttered through his head like millions of tiny little bugs that filled him with guilt and fear and such heavy, immeasurable pressure that this was all his fault.

The large bruise on your left eye, purple and blues mixed together in a nasty welling that had your eye shut from the size of it -- you'd gotten it from a particular nasty punch from a group of villains you'd both been trying to take down. The cuts along your skin, slices, were from one of the villains quirks, knifes that had sliced you apart repeatedly; blood gushing from your skin and tiny little welts that would turn into scars over time.

But really, it was the burns across your arms, now covered in tight, white bandages, that made Bakugou's heart squeeze painfully in his chest; constricting with every breath he took because the reality was, he shouldn't be alive after what he'd done.

When you and Bakugou had been briefly briefed on the mission, still both only in your third year at U.A., trying to make names for yourselves; neither of you had been told about the extremely dangerous and life-threatening quirk at play. The truth was, no one knew about the quirk or the person it belonged to.

An underground member of the villain group you both were tasked to take down -- an unforeseen event that had lead to what Bakugou could only describe as his worst nightmares.

Mind-control. Or something of that sort. Bakugou still didn't know the specifics and truly, for once, he didn't want to know. Didn't want to even have to imagine what else that he could've been made to do, especially to you, had it not been for Shoto and Deku's arrival.

Wounds worse than burns, destruction beyond repair, or worse, death. Bakugou hated having to feel like he owed anyone anything, but he couldn't even deny that Shoto's and Deku's arrival was both needed and a great turnover for the hero-side.

You would've died otherwise. That, or seriously hurt.

Hurt more than you already were and Bakugou already felt like the worst piece of sh*t possible because you were hurt because of him.

He'd hurt you. Set his explosions off on you, been the one to make you scream in pain and cry out for help; cry out for help when it should've been him helping you. Instead, he was the one causing the damage, and it had taken both Shoto and Deku to pull him off of you and restrain him until the effects of the quirk wore off.

And now, left with the aftermath of his own actions, Bakugou couldn't stand himself.

"I hurt you."

He says it with such pain, one that instantly pulls at your heart, hating that you were the reason he was in so much pain.

"You weren't in control of yourself, Katsuki. We both didn't know that that man would be there, nor did we know what his quirk was. There was no way we could've been prepared for it," you explain, shifting in your hospital bed, trying not to pull at any of your injuries. "You have to understand that. I could blame you. I never could."

"Doesn't change the fact that I still did it," he whispers, staring at his own hands; the ones that had hurt you... attacked you...

You reach forward, taking his hands in your own before he can pull away or argue. You tug, enough that it pulls his gaze on you, and then move your hands to his cheeks, cupping them. You hold him in a way so he can't pull away, can't refuse.

"It wasn't your fault."

And his lips part, to say something, but you just interrupt him.

"It wasn't," you say firmly, then, face softening at the rare look of vulnerability on his face, you smile gently; "okay?"

Bakugou doesn't believe it. He doesn't know if he ever will. The guilt inside of him is so strong, the feelings that he'd failed at being the one thing he strived so hard to be and worse, it was because he'd hurt you... it makes him feel sick. Makes him want to rip at his own skin so that he doesn't have to feel this way anymore.

But he's already hurt you enough and you look so desperate, pleading with him to just believe you... and he can't hurt you anymore.

So, he nods, even if he feels sick doing so;

"okay."

#mha #mha x reader #bnha #bnha x reader #my hero academia #my hero academia x reader #boku no hero academia #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou katsuki #bakugou katsuki imagine #bakugou x reader

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