#also me posting Three finished pieces in a month???? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

measuredingold · 7 months

Text

heaven sent

authors note: after a month off, i've finally finished my noah piece :) this is my first on tumblr, second one all together (there's one on my ao3). this was a request a friend of mine made a month or so ago, and i'm happy to finally get it out for them. briefly proofread, sorry for any mistakes. as always, enjoy and feedback is appreciated :) my requests are open btw! i'm also working on tag-list, so if you'd like to be added please send me a message :)

pairing: noah sebastian x reader

cross-posted on ao3

word count: 6.8k

cw/tags: slight friends to lovers, readers first time, realization of ~feelings~, fingering, cunnilingus (noah is a munch), p in v, protected sex (be safe!!!!! wrap it up folks!!!), fluff, maybe slight angst if you really squint, loads of tension, noah being a sweetheart, open ending, 18+ minors do not interact

You stare at Noah’s door, nerves bubbling inside of you. It was silly to be nervous - Noah was your best friend. You’ve lived with him for the last three years, known him even longer, and you’ve asked him plenty of favors in the time you’ve spent with him. However, this time was a lot different.

Navigating your 20’s was something you were still figuring out. Establishing your career, finding a friend group that you trusted, and even dating was all so confusing. You’ve gotten the career down, and you think you got a pretty solid group of friends, but romantic relationships are still something that you can’t seem to get.

You’ve been on dates, that wasn’t the hard part. The hard part was when things got… intimate. You’re embarrassed to say it, but you were still a virgin. It wasn’t like you were waiting for that special someone, it just never happened. You’d either get to that point and chicken out, or never even make it out of the kissing stage. At this point you just wanted it done and over with, but you couldn’t just do it with anyone.

That’s where Noah came in.

You trusted him more than you trusted yourself, you think, and your other friends told you that if you just wanted to get it done and over with, do it with someone you won’t regret.

You don’t think you’d regret Noah.

With a shaky hand you reach up and knock on his door, the music from inside pausing. You hear shuffling and the twist of the doorknob, and there stood Noah. He smiles.

“Didn’t know you were home,” He swings the door open and goes back over to his desk, falling into his chair. “What’s up?”

You don’t move, just stand in the doorway, your nerves intensifying. Shit.

He looks over at you after a moment of silence, and his brows furrow, lips pursing slightly.

“Hello? Everything alright?”

You shake yourself out of your trance and shift on your feet, arms crossing over your chest.

“Can I ask you something?” You bite down on your lip. “Like… a favor?”

Noah’s head tilts. “…What kind of favor?”

“A pretty big one.” You can’t help but smile sheepishly at the way Noah’s eyes narrow at you before his gaze softens, realizing your nerves, and he nods towards his bed. You walk over and sit down without a word.

He rolls his chair over to you as you pull your legs up under yourself, hands laid in your lap, and he reaches for them. You jump at the touch, and he frowns, but he doesn’t let go.

“What’s going on? Is everything alright?” His eyes narrow again. “…Do you need me to fight someone? I’m not really good at that, but I’ll try.”

You can’t help but laugh before dropping your gaze from his, looking down at your hands intertwined together.

"No, no fighting is involved."

"Oh, thank fuck. You know I'm not much of a fighter." You laugh again but it falls short, the nerves resurfacing again. Noah's lips dip into a frown. "Seriously, what's up?"

You pull your hands from his to wipe them against your pants, sighing deeply. How do you even bring this up? You practiced a script in your head for hours before even standing in front of his door, but now that you're in his room, and he's sitting right in front of you, it's like you've forgotten everything you wanted to say.

"You can't laugh." You finally say. "And you can say no. It's... a stupid favor, anyways, but you're one of the few people I wholeheartedly trust, so..." Your words trail off with a shrug and you look up at Noah again, seeing confusion written all over his face.

"You're acting weird again." His head tilts again and you keep in your laughter this time. He looks like a confused puppy. "Did you do something illegal?" His eyes widen a bit as he leans in. "...Are you in trouble? Am I going to be an accomplice? You know I wouldn't do good in jail, dude."

"Oh my god, Noah." Your hands come up to rub at your face, laughter spilling out of you. "I'm not in trouble and no one's going to jail."

"Then what is it? You're acting like it's something crazy."

"Because it is!" You whine, falling back onto his bed. Your eyes stare up at the ceiling, arms resting on either side of your body. "And it's fucking embarrassing."

"I've known you for like 6 years, I think I've seen every embarrassing thing you've done."

You hear his chair squeak and feel the bed dip beside you, but you don't bother looking over. You feel his body, heat radiating off of him, and you suck in a breath at the close proximity. You truly were never bothered by being close to Noah, but ever since you've thought of your silly request, just the thought of touching him has your head reeling. He lays beside you, propping himself up on his elbow. You manage to sneak a glance at him and he's already staring down at you, lips pursed.

"Talk to me."

You pout. "I'm nervous."

"Oh, please." He reaches down to flick at your forehead, and you yelp, eyes slitting into a glare at your friend. "It's just me."

You sigh, gazing back up at the ceiling. "Alright. Just... Please promise not to laugh. And remember you can say no."

"Got it. Now, what is it?"

"So..." You hum, eyes falling shut. "You know how I'm still like... I've never had sex with anyone?"

"Yes." Noah says. "Still shocked, by the way, but I support you. It's not for everyone and we all go at our own pace."

You flush at his words, eyes opening to stare at him again. "Why're you shocked?"

He shrugs. "Just am, but it’s not a bad thing. Like I said everyone goes at their own pace.”

"Right." You clear your throat. "It's not like I don't want to do it, it's just... it's never happened. I think..." Your eyes fall shut again, not being able to look at him anymore. "Anna said I might be one of those people that just need to do it with someone I already know. Someone I trust, so it's not as scary."

"Hm..." Noah shifts next to you. "You could be. That's not really unheard of, a lot of people are more comfortable having sex with someone they're already comfortable with."

"Yeah, right." You suck in a breath. "Well... I've been thinking about it recently. And um..." You reach up and cover your face with your hands, trying to hide the deepening flush to your cheeks. "I was thinking about who I trust enough to do that with and... I trust you more than anyone else. Probably even more than myself."

The silence that follows is almost deafening. You're sure it took him a moment to register his words and you know the second he does, the bed shifting beside you. Noah sits up and you can feel his eyes boring into you, and it makes your skin crawl. You can't pull your hands away from your face, too scared to even look at him.

It was such a crazy thing to throw out there, you knew that. What's the worst he could say? No? Your mind kept replaying that over and over again and yeah, the worst he could say was no. However, you feared that maybe you asking him of this would make things awkward. You knew it wasn't a friendship ending type risky, but it was enough to maybe make the next few weeks stiff and weird.

"Are you..." Noah pauses and you hear him suck in a breath. "Are you asking to have sex with me?"

"God, when you say it like that it sounds so fucking weird."

By better judgement you pull your hands away from your face to look up at Noah, expecting the worse. Though, it's not bad at all actually. He looks confused, definitely, but he doesn't look too uncomfortable. His gaze is still soft as his eyes meet yours.

"Why me?" He sounds shocked, as if there should be a hundred other options before him.

"Well. I live with you, and you're my best friend." You say simply and shrug. "You're also the only person in this world I trust enough to be... vulnerable like that with. For my first time, at least."

He nods, tongue darting out to swipe as his bottom lip and your eyes can't help but follow the movement. Something low in your stomach stirs, heat rushing through you, and you tear your eyes away to gaze into his again.

"You can say no," You remind him quickly, moving to sit up across from him. "It's a crazy favor. I won't take it to heart."

"I..." His words trail off and his lips press together, looking off to the side. "I don't know if we should."

For some reason your heart sinks to your stomach. A part of you knew he would say no and knew that was the worst thing he could say, but there was some other part of you that clung on to the possibility. You just wanted to get it over with and you were hoping that maybe he would help you out... but you still understand his hesitancy.

"Of course, yeah." You nod your head quickly, face heating up again. "I shouldn't have even asked; I don't know what I was thinking."

"No-"

You get up from his bed and rush towards his door. "Forget it, okay? I'm sorry for making it weird."

You don't bother looking back at Noah, slipping out his door and practically running to your room across the hall, shutting your door behind you.

…

Later that night while you were getting ready for bed, Noah slips into your room. You freeze, turning to look at him as he stands in your door frame, wringing his hands in front of him nervously.

“Okay. I thought about it some more.”

You pause. “About what?”

“About… what you asked me.” Your skin heats up at his words and you start to shake your head, but he holds a hand up to stop you. “I’m really fucking flattered that you trust me that much to even consider me a possibility and… and if you still want to, I’ll do it. If it’ll make you happy.”

The silence that follows was brutal. You weren’t sure how to take it, especially with the way Noah was looking at you. He seemed nervous, almost like you had been earlier, and it has something inside of your fluttering. Like a bunch of butterflies had been set free inside your tummy all at once.

You swallow. “What?”

"I don't know, I just." He leans against the doorframe now, arms crossing over his chest. "The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. Being vulnerable can be hard, especially during sex, and... part of me wishes my first time was with someone I trusted."

You stay silent, eyeing Noah from across the room and he finally looks up, eyes meeting yours. He gives you a gentle smile and goosebumps rise across your skin.

"Really?" You say dumbly and he laughs.

"Yeah." He shrugs. "I mean, do I regret it? Not really, but I think it would've made the experience better if it had been with someone I trusted and maybe had known longer than a few weeks." He slowly makes his way towards your bed and sits down on it, patting the spot next to him. Your feet move before you can even think, settling down next to him. "I also want your first time to be good. I know too many people whose first times were shitty, and I don't want that for you. If... if it's with me, I'll be able to make sure you're enjoying it, and not just doing it to say you did."

You notice the subtle flush on his cheeks, and you can't help but smile.

"I just need to know that this is really what you want because there's no going back after this."

He reaches out to place a hand against your thigh, and you know it was supposed to be soothing, but the burning feeling it left against you was almost too much to handle. You nod quickly, eyes never leaving his.

"If I didn't want this I wouldn’t have asked, Noah." You say softly. "I've thought about it a lot and... and if I were to choose anyone in the entire world to do this with, it would be you."

Something in the air shifts after the words leave your mouth and you swear you see something cross in Noah's eyes, but it's gone before you could even think about it. You feel his fingers dip into your thigh for a split second before loosening, rubbing the spot he had dug into.

"You're one hundred percent sure about this?" He asks, voice barely above a whisper.

You stare at him for a moment before your eyes linger down to his lips, before flicking back up to him. He noticed but didn't say a word, hand still rubbing your thigh. You nod.

"Yes."

"Okay." He sucks in a deep breath after a moment and pulls away from you, the moment you two shared slipping away. Your stomach turns, almost missing the contact, but you scoot a bit from him anyways. "Okay, cool. Do you work this weekend?"

You raise a brow at him, head shaking. "No. Why?"

"I'm free most of Saturday and Sunday, so we could... uh, do it then."

"Oh." Your eyes widen. "You want to wait?"

"I mean, yeah. Us doing it now would be weird, right?" You think about it briefly before nodding. It would be odd to just dive into it now, you don't think you'd enjoy it that much. "This gives us time to... prepare? I don't know. Be less nervous? And it gives you a few days to really think about it."

You rolled your eyes playfully, but your heart swells in size at how concerned Noah was, making sure you were completely okay with your decision.

"I've thought about it for almost a week now. I think I'm sure."

“Alright, no need to get fucking sassy with me.” He leans over to flick at your forehead, like he had done earlier, and you swat at his hand.

“I’m not even being sassy!”

“Whatever, dude.” Noah finally gets up from your bed and looks down at you, brows raising. “So, next weekend?”

“Um. Yeah. Next weekend.” You clear your throat, trying to come off as nonchalant as possible, and Noah nods.

“Alright. Cool.” He looks like he wants to say something else, lips pressing together before he shrugs it off, making his way towards the door. “Does pizza sound good for tonight?”

You blink. “Huh?”

“Pizza.” He looks over his shoulder. “For dinner?”

“Oh.” You blink again, the sudden change in conversation taking you for a loop and you push yourself up off the bed. “Yeah, that’s fine.”

“Awesome. I’ll go ahead and order it and let you know when it’s here.”

You watch him slip out of your room, listening to his footsteps down the hall, and something in your tummy stirs as the realization of what’s happening finally settles in. What the hell did you just get yourself into?

…

You sat in the middle of your bed late Saturday evening, staring up at Noah as he stood at the end of your bed. You were still nervous, but not as nervous as you had been almost a week ago. Noah had been right - the more you thought about it and prepared yourself, the less scared you seemed to be. You can't lie and say all the nerves have gone away, because they sure as hell haven't, but looking at Noah right now, all you feel is comfort.

"Feeling alright?" Noah's voice breaks you from your thoughts and you give him a small nod.

"Yeah." You hum, your hands spreading against your thighs. They were bare, the only thing you had on were some sleep shorts and an oversized shirt you typically slept in - probably Noah's. "Just nervous."

Noah gives you a smile as he crawls onto the bed towards you, your heart picking up under your chest.

"It's okay to be nervous." He mumbles, sitting on his knees in front of you. You still have to tilt your head up just to look at him. "But it's just me, okay? I'll take care of you. I promise."

His words have your stomach turning, like a bunch of butterflies have just been released. Your skin heats up and you're sure your cheeks are flushed some sort of light pink, and Noah leans forward, his lips ghosting against your forehead. You take a deep breath and let your eyes flutter shut at the feeling, trying to ease your nerves.

"At any time you want to stop, you tell me, okay?" He says once he pulls back, hand coming up to rest beneath your chin, tilting your head back up. Your eyes open. "If it becomes too much, I need you to tell me. This is about you - not me. No egos will be shattered or anything."

"Okay."

"If it's alright with you, we can do the stop light method." He hums, hand never leaving your face. "Red for stop, yellow for slow down, and green for keep going."

You stare at him, eyes already glossed over in a haze, and you nod in his hold. "I trust you."

He pauses, eyes scanning over your face one more time before he leans in again, lips pressing against your forehead more firmly. Your eyes slip shut once again and you lean into it, savoring it. You miss the feeling of his lips against your skin when he pulls away, letting his hand drop.

"Lean back for me."

You scoot up the bed and lean back, the back of your head pressing against your pillow. Noah stares down at you before nudging your legs open gently, leaning forward to hover over you. Your heart is thudding so loudly against your chest it's the only thing you can hear, and you swear Noah can too. And you suspect that he does, especially with the way his lips quirk up at the ends before his eyes catch yours.

"Just relax, okay?" His voice is much lower now and it has something in the pit of your stomach heating up, skin tingling. "You're in good hands."

"Promise?"

Usually you would tease him, since that was the nature of your relationship, but right now you feel too vulnerable. You need to know that you'll be okay with him, which you're sure you will, but hearing him say it out loud just makes you feel a little bit better.

His gaze softens. "I promise."

The look you two share has alarms going off in your mind, and your stomach turns in a way you've never felt before, yet you don't think you've ever felt safer in your life. You relax yourself against your bed, fingers gripping the sheets beneath you.

"Okay." You breathe out. "I trust you."

"Thank you." He actually sounds happy by your words, almost like he's proud, and he leans down, lips ghosting against the skin of your neck as he mumbles out, "I trust you, too."

You can't help the gasp that escapes you when he presses a handful of soft, barely there kisses along your neck. He has an arm propped up beside you to hold himself up, while the other is rested against your hip. He nudges your shirt up ever so slightly, the pads of his tattooed fingers brushing against your bare skin. By instinct your hands raise to reach for him, fingers tangling in his hair. You feel him press against you, a shaky breath leaving him and when the air hits your skin, you shiver.

Noah presses another kiss to your skin before he pulls back, sitting up on his knees. You stare up at him, lips parted as a gasp escapes you. The look in his eyes was almost too much, the usual softness in his brown eyes darkening. The hand that was on your hip pushed your shirt up more, letting it wrinkle up against your stomach.

"Can I take these off?" He questions, fingers now tugging at the waistband of your shorts.

You can only nod, words not being an option right now and your hips lift up on their own as he tugs your shorts down your legs. Your body shakes the second you're exposed, the only thing covering you now is your underwear. The cold air hits against your core and its damp, and you flush out of embarrassment. He's done nothing but kiss you and you're already wet. You try to shut your legs out of habit, but Noah was still seated between them.

"Hey," His voice is rough, but he leans down, meeting your eyes again. A hand rests against the top of your thigh, his fingers dipping dangerously close to the one spot you're aching for him to be. "You okay? You don't need to hide."

You nod again because nothing seems to come out and Noah shakes his head, hair moving around.

"Talk to me."

Something in his tone has you shivering again, and you swallow. "I'm okay... just not used to this."

"I understand." His eyes drop from yours down to his hand against your thigh, watching as he gently caresses the skin. You can't help but squirm when his fingers get a bit too close to where you want him, and he glances up at you, lips quirked up into a grin. "I promised to take care of you, and I'm going to."

"I know."

He doesn't respond, just gives you another grin before he slides his body down yours, nestling himself in between your legs. You've never had someone that close to that part of you before, the closest being a finger or two, and when Noah's tugging at the band of your underwear you have to look anywhere but him. Your hips rise off the bed, and you let him drag them down your legs, almost achingly slow, and your eyes lock onto the ceiling.

You're bare in front of him and just knowing that has your chest tightening, your throat closing up. Your fingers move back to the sheets beneath you, and you grip them tightly, squirming when you feel Noah's fingers drag up your thigh. You feel him shift, finger dragging closer and closer to your center, and then the brush of his lips against your inner thigh. You squeak.

“It’s okay.” He murmurs, so low you barely catch it. “Have you ever been fingered before?”

You nod, stiff and quick. “Mhm. Felt weird.”

“Probably because you were so tense.” Another quick kiss was pressed to the inside of your thigh. “Don’t worry, we’ll fix that.”

He starts off slow, a long, slender, tattooed finger sliding up and down your slit before he gently prods at your entrance. You suck in a breath when you feel him push in, body stiffening again. You've been fingered before, you're not that inexperienced, but it's always been uncomfortable. Not enjoyable. Noah senses your unease and presses a kiss to your hip, his free hand rubbing your thigh.

"Need you to relax, baby." His voice is muffled by your hip and the word baby has your entire body flushing. "It'll feel good when you do."

"How do I do that?" You whine out, fingers gripping the sheets. He pushes forward again, his finger now fully inside you. It feels... foreign.

"Stop thinking so much." He lifts his head up and you sneak a glance down at him, his eyes blown wide, and lips pursed in a slight pout. "Think of something that relaxes you, because you're way too stiff right now."

You toss your head back against the pillow, huffing out, and Noah laughs softly to himself and scatters a few more kisses against your skin. Your eyes flutter shut at the feeling, body almost instantly melting into the mattress.

"Keep doing that."

"Kissing you?" He mumbles, lips brushing over your hips again. You nod.

"Yes. Please."

"Atta girl," He mumbles, almost to himself when he pumps his finger inside of you, finally relaxing around him to make the action much easier than before. "I got you."

This goes on for a few minutes - soft, delicate kisses being placed along your skin as he worked a finger inside of you. As time went on, the odd and almost painful stretch from before became... pleasurable. You don't even notice the tiny noises slipping from your lips and your hips slowly rocking down to meet his finger.

"You think you can take another?"

You nod. A second finger slips in, and the stretch has you keening, back arching slightly off the bed. It wasn’t terrible, though. No, it felt good. So much better than your previous experiences. You clench around his fingers, and you hear Noah groan quietly, face pressing against the inside of your thigh to muffle the noise.

“Fuck.” You curse out when he picks his movements up, fingers now scissoring in and out of you.

“Feel good?” Noah sounds strained, like he’s trying to hold himself together even though you’re the one experiencing all the pleasure. You nod.

“Really fucking good.” You choke out, hips bucking down to meet his fingers. “Green. Please don’t stop.”

“I won’t, baby.” Noah mutters, not once letting up. “Doing so well for me.”

You practically purr at his words, your body warming up and feeling the fly all over. You’ve always been one to love a good bit of praise, and hearing it come from Noah was something you’d never imagined enjoying so much. A surprised gasp leaves you when you feel his thumb press against your clit, applying pressure while his fingers continued.

"You've ever been ate out before?"

Noah's words pull you away from the cloud you were just on, the pleasure coursing through your body. You whine, shifting your hips down to meet his fingers again but he stills his movements.

"No." You whimper.

You wiggle your hips down to get some kind of friction, the heat that was beginning to pool in your tummy slowly slipping away. You hear Noah groan below you and he presses a kiss to the inside of your thigh, gently biting down on the soft plush of skin there.

"Can I be the first?" He breathes out, lips dancing across your skin. "Please. I'll make you feel so fucking good, I promise."

“Yeah,” You nod quickly, hips rolling down to gain some kind of friction again. “Please, just do something.”

That’s enough for him, diving headfirst between your thighs.

Noah leaves no mercy, his lips wrapping around your now swollen clit as his fingers begin moving inside you again. The feeling of his tongue wet and heavy against you and his long fingers pumping in and out of you has your eyes crossing, stars dancing around the edges of your gaze. You can't help but let another moan slip, hips bucking wildly. You feel Noah moan against you, angling his fingers up to press against something inside of you that's pulling an unexpected noise out of you, something mixed with a cry and a moan. You’ve never experienced pleasure like this before with another person.

The heat pooling in your returns much quicker than you thought and you feel yourself clench around his fingers, hips moving on their own accord. Noah moans again, tongue moving against you, and you swear you feel shifting at the end of the bed. You take a chance to glance down at Noah, pushing yourself up onto your elbows. You have to bite down on your bottom lip to hold in any noises and watch as Noah ruts his hips against the bed.

You’d never seen anything so insanely attractive before – Noah’s mouth working against you like a starved man and getting off on it to the point that he has to grind against the bed to get some kind of release. It’s enough to push you over the ledge, the heat in your stomach snapping and your cunt clenching around his fingers. You cry out, falling back onto the bed as your eyes squeeze shut. You’d experience orgasms before, but this was your first with another person, and it was probably the best damn orgasm you’ve ever had.

Noah doesn’t let up until you’re practically shaking, reaching down to curl your fingers into his hair and physically push him away. He laughs, light and airy, and turns his head to press a quick kiss to the side of your thigh before finally sitting up. You stare up at him with hooded eyes, his chest rising and falling heavily with each breath he took. You feel your heart pounding against your chest, ringing loudly in your ears as the realization of what just happened settles into your bones.

Noah just gave you one of the best orgasms of your life.

Your cheeks flush with color and before you could reach up and hide your face from him, he’s leaning down, hovering over you. You suck in a deep breath.

“Was that okay?” He questions softly, but you can hear the slight shake in his voice, and the look in his eyes was anything but soft.

You nod. “Better than okay.”

“Yeah?”

You watch a smile spread across his lips and find it hard to look anywhere but there, so you don’t, and you give him another nod.

“Do you wanna keep going?” He leans further down until your noses are barely touching and you’re doing everything in your power to pull him down and kiss the absolute fuck out of him.

You nod again, swallowing harshly. “Yes, please.”

He doesn’t say anything, just hums out a quiet noise of approval while brushing his nose against yours. You can’t stop yourself from smiling at the soft gesture while he sits up from the bed. You watch with hooded eyes as he pulls his shirt over his eyes and you let your gaze trail over him, not trying to hide the fact that you were indeed checking him out. You lived with him so of course you’ve seen him shirtless countless of times before, but now it was different. Much more intimate.

You pull your bottom lip in between your teeth as he’s pushing both his sweatpants and boxers down, crawling back towards you. You sit up and finally pull your shirt off as well, tossing it to the ground before lying back down, watching Noah reach over for the condom he had brought in with him, and you swallow down the nerves that were beginning to rise.

It’s now or never.

You meet his gaze again and the look he’s giving you, like he wants to devour you has a fire setting off inside of you. Your eyes drop to his achingly hard cock, watching as he rolls the condom on, and you squirm underneath him, fingers gripping the sheets below you. He grips his cock, long fingers wrapping around his length and your mouth practically waters at the sight.

You realize in that moment you’ve never wanted someone more than you do now, and that is definitely something you’ll have to unpack later. Right now, though, all you can think about is the way his slides the tip along your slit, teasing your entrance before pressing into your now sensitive clit. You whimper, hips wiggling down and Noah chuckles above you.

“Remember, red is for stop, yellow is for slow down, and green is for keep going. Okay?”

It takes you a minute to register his words, too focused on the way he looks above you, and you give a shallow nod. “Okay.”

“Good.”

Noah hikes your legs up around his waist and you circle them around him, unintentionally pulling him closer to you. The tip of his cock nudges against your entrance at that and you suck in a deep breath, eyes fluttering shut. He takes his time slipping in, going as slowly as he could, and you whine quietly, face scrunching up at the feeling. It was different than his fingers, much bigger, the stretch almost uncomfortable and not the same pleasurable feeling you had just moments before. You feel his body lean over yours when he finally presses in all the way, nose brushing against yours again.

“Look at me.”

You do, eyes opening to stare up at him. His voice sounded strained again, like he was holding himself back for you, and the look in his eyes has you melting into the bed. You stare up at him with wide eyes, not sure what to say, and he gives an experimental roll of his hips. You whine again, the stretch as his slide in and out of you has your back arching off the bed.

“Is this okay? Talk to me, baby.”

You give a small nod, another noise falling from your lips. “It’s okay, just… I’m yellow right now. Go slow, please.”

Noah let’s out a breath like he had been holding it and gave you a nod, giving another small roll of his hips before stilling inside of you. You have to shut your eyes because the way Noah was staring at you was almost too much, your chest feeling like a brick had been sat on it. You can’t believe that you were doing this, finally, and with your best friend no less.

He rests his arms on either side of you, leaning down to nose as your cheek before dipping his head down to press a few kisses against your neck. He nuzzled himself against you, letting one of his hands come down to rest against your hip, gently rubbing soothing circles against your skin.

“You’re already doing so good for me,” You hear him whisper, pressing another kiss to your neck. “Color?”

You flush, keening at his words and your back arches off the bed on its own, causing your hips to shift down and you fee his cock slide further inside of you. The head presses against that spot inside of you again and you let out an unexpected moan, pleasure finally sleeping through your veins. You clench around him, hips shifting down again, and he presses his face against your neck as a groan leaves him.

“Shit.” You breath out, hands coming up to card through his hair. “Green. I’m so fucking green.”

With another groan, Noah rolls his hips against yours and you moan again, eyes rolling back. The stretch of his cock no longer felt uncomfortable, pleasure coursing through you with each slow thrust Noah gives you. His lips never leave your skin, licking and biting at your neck with each roll of his hips.

He pulls back to press his forehead against yours, eyes boring into your own and you squeeze yours shut. Another moan leaves you as he gives a rather hard thrust, your fingers gripping the ends of his hair and tugging. He whimpers at the feeling and you tug again, wanting to hear those sounds fall from his lips more, and his movements speed up.

The heat you had felt in the pit of your tummy earlier was beginning to form again, warmth spreading through your chest. You open your eyes again just at the moment when Noah’s hand left your hip to slide in between both your bodies, rough fingers pressing against your swollen clit. Your mouth drops open, a loud moan escaping you. The feeling of his fingers rubbing against your clit as his cock slides in and out of you was enough to make your head spin.

“You like that, baby?” He breathes out, lips dangerously close to your own. You nod quickly, whining out instead of answering properly. “Come on, you know I need words.”

“Fuck.” You choke out, a mix of a cry and a moan leaving you. “Feels so good. Please, don’t stop.”

This spurs him on, another whimper slipping from his lips as his hips snap into your own, pace picking up. You clench around his cock, the tip hitting the spot inside of you over and over again. His fingers never let up against your clit either, matching the pace his thrusts and you swear you feel dizzy, eyes rolling back. You’ve never felt like this before, and you think you prefer his cock inside of you over his fingers, the feeling unbeatable.

Your mind races just at the thought of Noah doing this for you, making you feel like this, wanting to take care of you, and your throat tightens for some reason. Something from deep inside your chest twists and you get the overwhelmingly need to be as close as possible to Noah, your fingers gripping the ends of his hair again.

“Noah.” You whimper out, eyes burning with unexpected tears.

“What is it, baby?” He grits out, eyes never leaving yours. His gaze softens when he notices your eyes watering, hips stuttering for a moment. “Are you okay? Tell me a color.”

You nod quickly, head knocking against his gently, and your hands drop from his hair to wrap around your arms around his neck, trying to pull him closer to you.

“Yes, fuck. Green.” You moan, trying to swallow down the lump that had formed in your throat. “Just feels so fucking good. You make me feel so good, Noah.”

Your words just start pouring out, slurring together almost like you’re drunk, and your cunt clenches around him again. You’re close, so fucking close, you can feel it, and so can Noah.

“Yeah?” He whispers, lips brushing against your own. Your back arches as you give him another nod. “God, you feel so fucking good on my cock, baby. Everything I ever dreamed of.”

His fingers against your clit speed up, and you let out a choked moan at the feeling of the heat in your stomach snapping. The combination of his words and his thrusts, plus the pressure against your clit, has your orgasm hitting you at full force. You’re not sure what kind of noise leaves you, something primal pulling itself from your chest as your vision blurred again. You feel like your body was sent to heaven and back, the most euphoric feeling coursing itself through your veins as your orgasm washed over you.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit.”

You hear Noah groan from above you as he fucked you through your orgasm. You don’t know what comes over you in that moment, but staring up at Noah as he chases his son release, you don’t think you’ve ever seen something so beautiful. Without thinking, you pull him down to you, lips sliding over his sloppily as he continued to fuck into you. A surprised noise leaves him, muffled by your lips, and with one last thrust you feel him still inside of you, spilling his release into the condom.

Silence follows after that, nothing but the sound of the two of you trying to catch your breath filling the room. Noah’s face is buried in the crook of your neck and your arms are still tightly wrapped around him, holding his body against yours. That overwhelming feeling in your chest seems to return, but you can’t even fully think about it, your mind too hazy. You feel exhausted, limbs feeling like mush after two mind blowing orgasms, that you barley even register Noah pulling himself up and out of you slowly.

You watch with hooded eyes that are becoming too hard to even keep open as Noah crawls off the bed, sliding the condom off and throwing it away, searching your room for his boxers before slipping them on. It’s a blur after that, Noah looking for the cloth he had brought in, probably to clean you off, and you barely remember him getting back on the bed, slowly pulling you up to slip clean clothes on your body.

Your back meets the bed again as you flop back down, curling yourself into your bed. It’s never felt comfier, you think, as you feel Noah curl up behind you, pulling your blankets over both of your bodies. His arm feels heavy over your waist, and his lips leave a burning feeling against the back of your neck as he pressed a kiss there.

The last thing you remember is your fingers curling around your hand that rests against your stomach, whispering out, “Thank you,” as sleep finally overtakes you.

#bad omens fanfic #bad omens fanfiction #bad omens fic #noah sebastian fic #noah sebastian fanfiction #noah sebastian x reader #mine

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spearxwind · 8 months

Text

Hiya!! Decided to take some quick comms :3

Info:

Dragons only this round!! Sorry x)

Fullbody by default, I can do waist up (or equivalent) but price will remain the same (though the detail will be proportional to both pieces. So waist up would be more detailed basically)

60eur base price, plus extra for complex designs

Not first come first serve

But also, no slots for now! I will do these based on demand until it stops or until i get tired, whichever comes first.

I'll work on batches of three or four approximately, and I will only charge you when I am ready to work on ur piece!

Here's an example of how it'd look like, using my boy Cercerion:

And a slightly closer detail

If you'd like one, hmu at [email protected], and please make sure your email includes the following:

visual references for your character

how you'd like the pose to look (if you have any preference, otherwise I'll choose what I think would look nice)

A bit of their personality/demeanor if you'd like, if it's relevant for the pose, as well as any details you'd like me to pay special attention to, if any!

your paypal email so I can invoice you (VERY IMPORTANT)

your url if you'd like to be credited or @'d

Once paid I'll send you the sketch for reviewing the pose, and once that is approved I will finish the piece! (And once the piece is done you have a right to two tweaks free of charge if I got anything wrong.)

TOS:

Payment is upfront, and through paypal only!

Turnaround is around four weeks/one month maximum after payment, I will warn you if it would exceed this time for whatever reason.

I will post these on social media by default, if you'd like yours to remain anonymous or to not be posted at all please let me know!

These are for personal use only

If you have any questions feel free to DM me (I'll try to stay on top of em!) Thank you for reading!

#windyart #commissions #windy commissions #long post #kinda.... sorry theres so many words jlkssdfk i like to be crystal clear!!!#im a bit on the fence on the sketch review phase cause i want these to be fast and people usually take time to answer emails #but im not sure how else id go about it ^^;#anyway yeah!! dragons!!

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multifariousqueer · 11 months

Note

hey ur writing a so good vould you write a smut with miles Morales( not 42) and reader using webs as hand cuffs, thanks <333

Ofc, babes!! IF ANY OF YALL HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS, SAY IT WITH ME KNOW. IF IT DON’T APPLY, LET IT FLY. LEAVE ME TF ALONE IF YOU HAVE ISSUES WITH MY SMUT BC I GENUINELY DO NOT GAF

A/N; Hey y’all. Keep requesting as always and if you have an issue with this particular piece of work or any of my other smuts, please feel free to politely fuck off 🥰(I’m sorry I’m so sick of the comments under my post y’all).

Warnings: imma try not to put too many bc Tumblr will shadowban this post and i gotta feed y’all, look at the request, b0nd@ge, fluff, br33ding,d1rty t@lk, nicknames, $mut,lmk if I missed some

As the rain pattered against your dorm window, you sipped from a mug of tea as you had just finished your English essay and designing Miles’ new web shooters. He was currently out using them and trying them out as you took notes on their flaws and how they could be fixed. Miles always told you not too worry about his web shooters and just focus on making his suit more durable and you always told him:

“I can do both, Spider-Man’s girlfriend/engineer always does both"

He would chuckle and laugh and say:

“As long as you’re happy, Mami."

Miles let you have a lot of creative freedom with his design seeing as you were also his “girl in the chair” assisting him on missions sometimes, designing/building him new tech, testing out new fluid combos and overall, keeping him safe. As much as Miles enjoyed you being active in his escapades, he worries that something will happen and you’ll be targeted and used for something horrible. You reassure Miles that this will never happen because there is nothing connecting you to his suit or machinery due to your advanced tracking system being untraceable by outside forces. You installed a firewall so potent, it took you three months of nonstop work to crack it. When you finally did, Miles and you had celebrated for a whole week.

As you enjoyed your unusual alone time, you waited for Miles to tap on your window and enter.

“Hey, Spidey. How’d they work?” you smiled at your tall boyfriend

“They held up, thats for sure. I had to stop a bank robbery and those guys had some pretty jacked up weapons but the shooters did their job. How are you amor?” Miles spoke

“I’m good. I pounded through my English essay and yours.” You said, grabbing his suit to tinker with some of the shooters leaving him bare in your room in only his mask

“What’s the essay on again?” He said, grabbing a shirt as you saw his visible goosebumps on his skin due to the sudden temperature change

“The effects of technology on modern civilization” you smiled at Miles

Miles chuckled at this

“Damn, they called you out, huh?” Miles said, climbing on your ceiling and attempting to web a bottle of water

“looking for something?” you smiled, waving his shooters at him

“yeah actually.” he smirked

“You’ll have them in a sec.” you said screwing something in

“try em now” you said, throwing them to Miles

Miles tried them and they worked perfectly, even better than you had anticipated. Of course, he tested them by webbing you to him.

“Thank you, mami. You always get me right.”

Miles pulled you in for a kiss. The kiss was long and passionate, you could tell he was incredibly grateful for the time and effort you put into him and his alter ego. The kiss could’ve lasted eternity as your mouths moved in perfect motion of each other before you pulled away:

“Should we try out new web formula?” you said barely above a whisper, your eyes fluttering open

Miles chuckled

“Nah, the current one will work fine for this”

Before you could ask what was going on, Miles webbed you to the wall. He turned you around so your stomach was against the wall. He made sure to strategically place the webs so that your hands and ankles were bonded extra tight to the wall.

“I’ve wanted to do this forever” Miles said

Miles webbed your mouth before you could say anything and started rubbing you through your clothes. He fondled your perfect tits and cursed under his breath:

“Shit I’m so lucky"

He sucked on your neck as little moans and whimpers escaped. He moved his hands under your clothes and ripped them in one swift motion:

“I’ll buy you a new top and shorts, mami” Miles said

You moaned out an “awww” but it was quickly interrupted by Miles rubbing your clit while leaving kisses along the back of your neck. You felt a knot in your stomach and you wanted nothing more than to moan out Miles’ name as you approached your orgasm.

You felt yourself twitch as you moaned and whimpered, tears falling from your face as Miles stopped and started palming and smacking your ass:

“You thought it was gonna be that easy, Mami? como si no me conocieras” Miles taunted in your ear

All you could do was just moan and cry as you were completely under his command. He then snaked two fingers inside of you and started prepping you for his dick:

"Es tan apretada, mi princesa” he said, lowly

Miles knew that when he spoke Spanish to you, you get flustered and shut down. You turn into a giggling mess and this situation was no different; It didn’t help because Miles was kissing your sweet spot on your neck causing you to feel overstimulated. Your legs shook and you were practically sobbing as your boyfriend abused your technology and your body:

“Fuckkk you wanna cum, Mami? You want me inside of you, princesa? I wanna fuck your tight little pussy so bad I’m gonna cum in your womb when I’m in there. You gonna let me? You gonna let me make you feel good, hm?” Miles taunted

“Mhmmm” you mumbled. You nodded and turned to face him.

“If you weren’t webbed, I’d make you beg for it; but you’re formula makes it so that you won’t be begging for another three hours” Miles smirked

“mmmmmm” you mumbled

All this time, Miles was taunting your hole with his head, pushing it in and out and watching your hole drip with anticipation. You were sobbing and all you wanted was to feel full and to cum but Miles more interested in watching his powerful, smart girlfriend, fall apart on his cock like putty. The lewd sounds your pussy exuded were driving Miles crazy as he watched you beg for him with your eyes.

Miles pushed himself in and bottomed out. Your soft, plush walls sending his senses into overdrive as he forced himself to move and not just enjoy your pussy squeezing around him. The feeling of being full and the sight of Miles inside of you was enough to make your high return on steroids. Your legs shook as you moaned and whimpered alongside Miles’ own whimpers and groans. As you approached your highs, Miles’ thrusts became sloppier and harder as your body followed the rhythm of his thrusts and began to shake. Before you knew it, your eyes blurred, and you let out a long drawn out moan and a wave of pleasure came crashing down on you; had it not been for the webs, you would’ve fell to your knees.

Not long after, you felt Miles twitch and his movements stilled as he emptied his cum inside of you, his breathing became heavier as yours did too. Miles placed soft kisses along your figure and whispered praises against your body:

“Fuck you’re so beautiful, Mami. I love you so much. You did so well"

You felt yourself get weak in the knees but Miles had been supporting your stomach and your weight. You wanted nothing more than to kiss the man who emptied his cum into your womb but due to the webbing situation, you couldn’t. Miles felt this and he snapped the webs off of your hands and ankles in a flash. As you both were calming down, you saw a geometric blast of light before seeing Gwen’s face:

“WOAH! uh did I catch you guys at a bad time?” She asked awkwardly, covering her eyes.

You and Miles exchanged glances before he smirked and you felt the heat rise to your cheeks

#mcu fanfiction #miles morales x reader #miles morales x y/n #miles morales headcannons #miles morales #miles x reader #across the spiderverse #spider man: across the spider verse #spiderman #across the spiderverse spoilers #miles morales smut #miles morales fanfiction #across the spiderverse fanart #spiderman into the spiderverse #into the spider verse #spiderverse #spiderverse spoilers #i need him #foryou

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kerokerokook · 5 months

Text

the rebound girl: chapter three

pairing: nerd pro-gamer jeongguk x reader

word count: 20.7k

a/n: so sorry for not updating for like almost two months atp. had some personal stuff and with genocide that is happening in gaza, i personally felt like it wasn't appropriate for me to post. please continue to support in any way you can whether that's with uplifting voices, going to protests, boycotting and donating. the smallest action can make a difference.

just a heads up, i won't keep a update schedule which i apologize for but i will do my best to be consistent :)

also i write this authors note, the golden concert finished and we got the enlistment notice for vminkookjoon. it's fine everything is fine they sooner they leave the sooner they come back hahaha :( (i'm crying as we speak)

warnings for this chapter: kissing, lots of ass grabbing, oc is down baaaaad, and so is jk tbh, oral (fem and male receiving), two orgasms for you, 69 position, some very light spanking and praise. jk drinks it like water. some slight dom/sub undertones (jk is a switch but not in this chapter :o)

other tags: a good chunk of angst, slut shaming, spreading of fake rumors, finally oc backstory on the nickname!!, mentions of marijuana, jeongguk asks the girls how to eat cat 8-) and he is once again green flag obvi

fic masterlist

song for chapter: seven by jungkook ft. latto and slut! by taylor swift

enjoy!

-mal <3

You wake up surrounded by warmth. The streams of sunlight coming in from your window thanks to your slightly parted curtains bathe your skin in gold, along with the thick duvet thrown over your body, and the thick arms wrapped around your waist.

For a second, you forget everything that happened last night.

The way you were panicking and how it escalated to kissing, touching, marking; how your lips wrapped around his thick and long length and how Jeongguk’s fingers pushed you past the edge. You can’t believe it. That one of your childhood best friends is lying in bed next to you right now. A man who made you feel so good that you want another taste.

You cringe at your thoughts. You’re really starting to sound like Mrs. Robinson right now.

Turning your body in his grasp, you face Jeongguk who has been hugging you from behind. His cheek is pressed into the soft pillow, puffed up a bit so his lips look extra pouty. His eyes are peacefully shut, body raising with his breath, and his shirt is all ruffled from him moving around so his collarbones are slightly exposed. You can see the marks you left on him, vibrant and pretty against his honey colored skin.

Without thinking, your hand picks up to gently glide over the surface. The skin feels the same but internally, you feel waves of smug, almost masculine, pride at the sight of them. As if you’ve branded the guy to be yours.

Your cup his right cheek, smoothing underneath his eye with your thumb. There’s a little tug with the thin skin, slightly sagging with a lack of sleep, but he looks so beautiful and peaceful like this. Jeongguk has amazing eyebrows; full, dark and perfectly shaped. You run your thumb over thick short hairs before pushing some of the hair messily strewn over his forehead out of the way. Strands silky and smelling of his shampoo.

As another finger goes to trace his earrings like the pieces of a wind chime, Jeongguk stirs. A soft whine barely leaves him before he’s tugging you closer so that your head is tucked into the crook of his neck.

His arms wind around you tightly, squeezing you just a bit and forcing a laugh out of you.

“Hey,” you call, feeling like a boa constrictor has coiled itself around you.

Jeongguk murmurs under his breath. “Five more minutes.”

“But I can’t breathe.”

“Figure it out.”

“Jeongguk,” you giggled, playing with a lock of dark hair that was all fluffy without a brush, tugging slightly to get him further out of sleep. “Cmon, you’re already half awake.”

There’s a fullness in your bladder. You need to pee and fix your hair and brush your teeth and make yourself look presentable before Jeongguk can actually take a good look at you. And breakfast too. You’re hungry.

“Which means I’m also half asleep.”

“Hmm but you’re responding in full sentences.”

“Ugh,” he rolls over and away from you, something you instantly regret. “Okay, fine. I’m awake.”

His hair is a birds nest on top of his head, sticking up all over the place, but a thought crosses your mind of Jeongguk with a perm. A perm and longer hair, framing his face in a shaggy 90s style, and your insides turn to mush.

Anything would probably suit him with a face like that.

And his body is absolute perfection. You get the urge to reach under the covers, under the fabric of his shirt and feel his stomach once more. Like you’re confirming the presence of steel cut abs and wide shoulders and squishable pecs.

“Sleep okay?” You ask him, turning on your side to watch his chest expand and recede with his breathing.

Jeongguk nods, rubbing one of his eyes. “Like a baby. You?” His head turns to face you and he’s got this dreamy, half-awake, smile on his lips that makes you melt.

“Same.”

You want to kiss his cheek and snuggle into the warmth of his chest. Jeongguk was so comfortable to sleep next to you and his body, while taut, is huggable like a giant teddy bear. He didn’t mind you clinging to him at first, slowly turning away when it got too hot or you wanted to change positions. It was honestly some of the best sleep you’ve gotten.

Carefully peeling the covers off, you stretch your arms up to crack all of the tightened areas.

“I’ll put out a disposable toothbrush for you and,” you turn around to find Jeongguk slowly sitting up, looking cute with your patterned sheets underneath him, “then we can talk about breakfast. Are you a savory or sweet kind of guy?”

Jeongguk’s eyes flutter upwards in thought, lips quirking to one side. “Hmmm, I usually have savory but I’ll try sweet.”

“Awesome. Waffles?”

“Hell yeah.”

The rest of your morning is pretty simple after that. Almost as if Jeongguk never slept over. You do your regular routine and leave the bathroom to him. You feed Snowball and give her as much attention and love as she desires. She’s chirpy in the morning and the minute Jeongguk emerges from the bathroom, you’re forgotten news.

She trots over to him, fluffy tail bouncing, and flops onto her side as Jeongguk pets her side and scratches her cheeks and under her neck.

You can’t help but stare at the scene with a warm gooey smile on your face. Jeongguk has always loved animals and seeing him interact with them is such a soft, sweet, beautiful moment.

Going back to the kitchen cabinets, you pull out your waffle maker and make a few with the batch you’ve prepared. Some with chocolate chips sprinkled inside. Knowing Jeongguk, you put out some chopped fruit, bacon, and make some fluffy eggs. You want him to be full and happy when he leaves.

Plus, you like doing stuff like this; cooking for people and making them happy. It’s fun.

Jeongguk strolls into the room, humming a song under his breath and pausing when he sees the spread you’ve put out for the two of you. Looking like a continental buffet at a hotel. Your head turns and you smile as he stares down at the steaming plates.

“Wait…I should’ve helped you. I’m sorry,” he pouts, twisting his fingers at the base of his stomach.

The stove is turned off when you walk closer to him. Droplets of water cascade down his neck and you can see the bright wine colored hickeys you left on him last night on his honey skin. The sight is delectable. You want to mark him again, mark him even more, but also don’t want to get too hasty with how much you touch him. It was a one-off after all.

You wave it off. “Let me do this for you,” chiding, you push him to take his plate over to the coffee table/desk thing you’ve got then grab yours. “Now let’s. Do you want coffee later?”

He shakes his head, hair swishing with his movements. “Trying to cut back on that. It’s worsening my anxiety.”

You pause. “I didn’t know you had anxiety.” The air sizzles in silence, the only noise cutting through being the sound of your plate hitting the surface of your table. Snowball chomps on the pellets of her food. Your backs collide with the edge of your bed, shoulders brushing, knees inches apart with your legs crossed over each other, and all you can smell is Jeongguk.

His cheeks get pinker, pursing his lips while starting on his food. “Yeah. I was diagnosed in high school. Working out helped a lot with it and same with gaming and sketching but the more I drink coffee, the more anxious I get.”

“Oh… I’m sorry.” You wilt next to him.

You know how bad it can get. You’ve seen your friends struggle with it, having attacks before a large test or getting fidgety in public spaces. It’s terrible.

“S’ok. I’m doing a lot better than before.” You watch out of the corner of your eye as Jeongguk eats. He’s nonchalant about it which calms you. “Taehyung tried to get me into smoking weed with him but I feel like that would worsen it.”

Snickering, you start eating too. The image of a relaxed Taehyung and a paranoid Jeongguk, when it’s usually the complete opposite, is sort of hilarious.

“Yeah,” you laugh. “Weed is either amazing for people with anxiety or it will literally give you a panic attack. Especially if you smoke too much.” Thinking back to your first year of college, when you decided to go crazy by smoking a joint and from a pipe and then from a bong, while in the middle of a forest on a camping trip.

Safe to say, you thought someone was going to come out of the bushes and beat your ass for smoking underage. Jeongyeon had to take you back to the dorms and help you calm down. It was bad.

But it was a learning lesson and you know to pace yourself with weed now. Unlike your friends, you don’t do it as often. It’s great when you’re plastered though or if you want to really enjoy a meal.

Jeongguk laughs with you. Then his eyes focus on something and you stop halfway when bringing the fork of food to your mouth. Raising an eyebrow in question, he just reaches over to tuck your hair out of face and behind your ear.

“You can say no but,” he exhales, fixating on the way your lips pout just a bit as you chew, “I really want to kiss you right now. Can I?”

Then your stomach flips.

He’s such a good guy, you think. You aren’t used to being around good guys.

Probably because deep down you think you’ll ruin them or you don’t deserve them but hey, you’re no therapist.

Jeongguk is too good. He’s too sweet and you just know that whatever brew of emotions that is bubbling up in you screams trouble but you simply can’t hold yourself back. Not when he looks this cute and soft and pretty in your room, asking politely to do your hair for you, eating the food you made him after a night of passion.

Swallowing whatever was in your mouth, you drop your fork on the plate and get up on your knees. Jeongguk’s reaction is comical. His eyes widen like he’s going to get yelled at, hands jumping to his sides but that is far from the truth.

Instead, you settle on his lap, wrists crossed behind his neck to toy with the back of his soft hair.

“Wh–did I–” he doesn’t even get to finish. You kiss Jeongguk briefly on the nose.

His eyes blink largely at you, bouncing down to your lips in a silent plea, and who are you to say no to someone like Jeongguk who asked so kindly? Leaning back down, gently connecting your lips with his in a soft slow kiss. He meets your movements, smooth lips kissing you back wetly while his hands move to your hips.

You don’t mean to get lost in the kiss but it’s quite hard. Jeongguk is really good at kissing and his body's so warm against yours. Pressing closer, you try to lick into his mouth to deepen the kiss but Jeongguk’s hands slip down and grip your ass harshly.

Gasping, you pull away. An unexpected action from him since he was so careful and gentle with you last night but you liked it.

The sheer thought of him getting rougher with you has you wet.

You decide to finally answer his question. “You can do whatever you want with me.”

“Whatever I want?” He teases back.

“Mhmm.”

Jeongguk pushes some hair out of your eyes. “Giving me all of that power is a bit dangerous, you know?” And even though he’s joking and you know that, you take it literally, wanting him to know this before he leaves.

Because it’s the wholehearted truth.

“I trust you, though. I trust you a lot.”

Jeongguk isn’t going to treat you like most of the men in your life. He won’t discard you for someone better, stringing you along with kind words just to get you to do what they want, and leave you broken hearted. He simply isn’t that kind of guy. He’s sweet and patient and attentive. The kind of guy you should be going after.

Sadly it’s taken you this long to realize it and this much hurt for you to change but it’s a start.

His eyes glimmer at you from your spot. You almost don’t want to get up because of how breathtaking his eyes look reflecting the stars hidden by the light.

“I know you won’t hurt me,” you continue, enamored. “So do what you want and if I don’t like it, I’ll tell you, okay?” Cupping his round, soft cheeks in your hands, you wait for nod. A slow, sure, steady one to cement this declaration right then and there.

Just as you lean down for another searing kiss, your phone starts blaring from your bed. The alarm you forgot to switch off. Fuck.

With a groan, you press the off button and your normal phone lock screen shows a notification from your mother. Still on Jeongguk’s lap, you press on it to read her text.

mom

stopping by in thirty

wanted to drop off some kimchi before i go back home

Fuck, you forgot. Your mom had an offsite trip for work in Incheon and before going back to your apartment, she wanted to give you some food for the weekend since your apartment was in between.

There’s no way she’ll let it slide that Jeongguk slept the night and your mom is no idiot. With all of the hickeys on his neck and the awkward we-wanna-fuck tension that is ever building between you two after last night’s taste, you’ll be getting grilled till you’re on your deathbed.

Quickly, you send her a thumbs up and toss your phone onto your bed, then look down at Jeongguk’s confused, cute face. “My mom is coming over in thirty minutes. Do you think we can finish by then?”

“F-finish what?”

You’re confused for a whole second until you remember you’re on his lap and you were just making out with him. A soft giggle leaves your lips before you press another kiss to his nose and a quick kiss to his pouty lips.

“Finish eating.” Finger trailing along the soft cut of Jeongguk’s jawline, flicking the hanging hoops in his ears. “Sorry baby, we’ll have to reschedule the other thing.”

The pet name flies out once more but you’re less upset about it. Jeongguk doesn’t seem to mind. In fact, his reddened ears tell you quite the opposite.

You try to get up once more but Jeongguk’s arms wind tightly around you. With a soft thud, your ass hits his lap again. He isn’t hard and his sweatpants are thicker than you remember it to be so you don’t feel anything. But the action still surprises you.

“You can still stay here and eat with me.” He demands petulantly. Big eyes, the roundest nose, cutest cheeks, and all of those moles scattered across his face like stars in the sky.

And how can you say no?

Breakfast is finished with you perched on his lap delicately, back against Jeongguk’s chest, while watching some random children’s cartoons that happened to be playing this early. It’s comfortable, almost intimate to be eating this close to each other and not have it be sexual. You had fully expected things to get raunchy today, especially when you were kissing, and usually when you stay over with a hookup, morning sex is promised.

Considering the extraneous variables, that can’t happen today, so you imagined Jeongguk would drop the closeness and go back to being platonic to you. Having him do the opposite is surprising.

You really like it.

Jeongguk’s chest is warm, broad, firm with muscle, and he smells like a mixture of his own scent and your skincare products. His arms fit snugly around you, like you can melt into his touch without another thought. You love the way he feels. So much so that tearing apart to let him leave is borderline painful.

Snowball has it especially rough. She rubs her head against Jeongguk’s calf, purring and trilling fyr him to stay and pet her when he’s posted by the door.

“I’ll be back soon. Don’t worry,” Jeongguk coos, tugging at her cheeks and smoothing over the area.

You want to cry at the visual.

The walk down is silent. Your keys jingle in your hands, shoes tapping on the linoleum floor, and Jeongguk doesn’t say much until the elevator takes the two of you to the lobby and outside your apartment building. It’s a slightly overcast day out. The sun peeks through the clouds and happens to land right on Jeongguk, illuminating him like an angel.

“So uh… I’ll see you on Monday, yeah?”

You nod slowly. “See you.”

Fuck it, you think, stepping off the platform leading into the lobby and wrapping Jeongguk in a quick hug. Arms around his neck, hugging him close to your body and giving him a firm squeeze.

Jeongguk returns it quickly, like a reflex. It’s soft, warm, and just what you needed before letting him go.

Just before your arms slip, you kiss the mole on his neck once, and slowly push off. You really don’t want to. You feel so safe whenever he touches you and smiles at you but you really don’t have any other choice.

“Bye noona.”

“Bye.”

Jeongguk’s departure is quick, waving bye as he crosses the street to get to the subway station further down the block. But you still feel the lingering ghost of his lips and touch on your skin. Almost like you’re savoring it for one more second.

And you’re so caught up that you don’t even notice the camera aimed at you that’s been snapping pictures for the past ten minutes.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The day had been weird the moment your foot stepped onto campus.

Being the esteemed rebound girl meant that people looked at you. Mostly men but you still got glances, sexual ones or judgy ones or interested ones. Not that you’re bragging, you never warranted them in the first place as they always come with negative intentions, but the glances you were getting today felt different. People were whispering, more than usual, and it was starting to bother you.

The first thing you did was check to see if you were wearing pants. Which you were so we can count accidental nudity off the list.

Then you rushed to the bathroom to check if you accidentally sat on a chocolate bar or bled through your jeans or your bra is showing through your shirt or there’s a line of toilet paper stuck to your shoe.

It has to be a physical issue. Otherwise people would be reacting like this, right?

But you didn’t find anything on you. Not even a smudge of mascara.

It’s weird because you’re dressed rather simply. A black hoodie with some light wash jeans since you were in the middle of your period and didn’t want to deal with putting in effort today. What the fuck is everyone’s problem then?

Looking down, you walk as fast as you can from class to class, barely talking to anyone besides your friends and only if absolutely necessary. In between classes you have your earbuds in and you avoid any eye contact. Even during discussions, you sit in the back and draw in the margins, not even bothering to listen and contemplating leaving early. A group of girls that you recognize to be from Juri’s group are being especially nasty, giggling whenever you look in their general vicinity.

This is starting to get really annoying.

With a half a mind to ask them what’s so fucking funny, discussion ends early and you have a lunch date with the rest of your friends so you bolt out of there, slamming your lunch tray down on the table with much confusion from your two friends. You explain it to them while eating in hopes that they can crack the code too.

“Maybe they think you’re pretty,” Nayeon tries.

“I didn’t even put foundation on. I highly doubt they think I’m pretty,” you mumble the last bit, crossing your arms over the table and resting your forehead on them. “They’re laughing at me.”

Like a fly buzzing by your ear, their giggles irritate you beyond comprehension.

Embarrassing. That’s the best way to describe the surface of how you feel. Embarrassed and paranoid and scared because of how everyone seems to be in on a joke except for you.

For a second, you go back to the insecure teenager in high school who just wanted someone around. Who wanted love and affection and popularity because who fucking doesn’t at that age? Only for all of those popular cool kids to be making fun of you, laughing at your expense, and reminding you of everything you were insecure about. This feels just like that.

“Do you think Wooshik did something?”

You look up, scanning the cafeteria for a mop of black hair and he’s chilling with his new girl who he’s been absolutely obsessed with judging by his expression. He looks like he’s having the time of his life ever since you two ended your little spat.

Wooshik is petty but only when he’s been slighted. If he’s happy then he’s pretty harmless. So there’s no way it’s him.

“Nah. There has to be something else.” You start picking at the skin on the side of your thumb, where it’s gotten a bit dry thanks to the change in weather.

The cafeteria is loud today, more people opting to stay inside rather than walk around for a restaurant to eat at since it’s bound to start raining any time soon. It feels like millions of people crowd in every pocket of space available yet your brain fixates on the eyes trained on you. Like they are all pointing, laughing, guffawing at whatever joke they are making at your expense. You start to sweat, feeling cornered in your spot.

You should be used to this being the college’s rebound girl but everyone’s disdain for you has never been so apparent. People stuck to their occasional disapproving looks and maybe, there was a low comment when news of you hooking up with another person circled the campus but it’s never been this bad before.

All of the worst possible outcomes form inside your head. Did someone sneak into your house and take nude photos of you? Maybe someone from your high school came and told some bullshit story?

What else could the reason be?

“Hey guys.” Jeongguk smiles, setting down a cup of instant noodles and pulling you out of your spiral. “Taehyung and Jimin are in the bathroom but they’ll be here soon.” Gently, he plops next to you and the scent of him is enough to calm you down.

Familiar, sweet and soft as always.

And he looks great in a navy blue Nike hoodie and black jeans, oversized as always, but you’re one of the few people that knows what he looks like underneath all of those clothes.

So much honey toned skin; a chiseled stomach and chest; defined arms and legs; gorgeous, truly gorgeous.

Jeongyeon furrows her eyebrows at him. “Why aren’t you eating the cafeteria food?” She asks with concern.

“Ah, I'm not super hungry. I had a big breakfast,” Jeongguk waves off, showing the ⅔ full cup of ramen he had. “I’m probably gonna go home early too since I have a League of Legends match with my team soon.”

You nod in response, half-listening. Jeongguk had explained his gaming league thing to you a few days ago. He used to be on a team for fun but he’s currently trying to join a semi-professional one for fun since he isn’t in any clubs or organizations on campus. Not that Jeongguk is particularly interested in those but, these gaming leagues have been calling out to him for a while.

Anyways, this game is supposed to serve as kind of an audition and if he does well enough, he’s in. You silently hope for his success.

Then there’s a gentle nudge at your side. “How’d you do on the physics quiz?” Jeongguk asks, taking some steaming noodles to his mouth with a pair of perfectly split chopsticks.

“100%.” You beamed. It was a shock to you when you saw the score online but mostly relieving.

“Yay, that’s great.” Jeongguk held out a palm for a high-five which you reciprocated, wishing you could just kiss him. The way he smiles so brightly was enough to get you to forget about all of the eyes on you, almost increasing when you started interacting with him. “Knew you could do it.”

“Well I’d have to thank my tutor.”

His eyes roll. “Sure but I barely did anything. You knew most of it already.”

Nayeon and Jeongyeon laugh at the face you make, then prompt Jeongguk to try to get him to start tutoring them. When he asks what subject, they just say all of them, which makes him cutely blush for some reason. He’s a deadly mix of cute, adorable, sweet, hot and sexy and you cannot handle when each of those characteristics hit you in one go.

You almost start to tease him about it when a set of two drop harshly onto the table’s bench with an air of annoyance around them. Suddenly, all of the bright happiness floats away.

“Jeongguk, have you been lying to me?” Taehyung asks point blank with a hurt expression on his face. Jeongguk’s smile begins to fade.

“About what? You know I was just joking when I said your orange hair looked funny–”

The brunette’s frown deepens. “Not about that. I mean about the girl who supposedly dumped you? And who the fuck is RG anyways?” Taehyung asks with a shake of his head, coffee colored tufts swishing in the wind.

RG?

“What?” Jeongguk’s chin pulls back.Your panic is instant. “What are you talking about?”

Jimin cuts in with an annoyed groan. “Some guy in the bathroom was telling us about a rumor going around that this older girl dumped you and now you’re sleeping with someone else to get back at her.” Your stomach drops. No, this can’t be happening. “Apparently it was posted on some forum called–”

“GossipLeaks,” Jeongyeon supplies. The younger three look at her in confusion while Nayeon cringes. “It's this depraved site where losers with no social skills sit and refresh the page for drama from every department to fill the void inside of them instead of getting a job. Usually a person will upload a picture or start a thread and people will exchange gossip, start gossip, discuss gossip or talk shit until their fingers start bleeding. It’s hell on earth.”

You hate that fucking site so much. It played a huge role in creating your reputation after all.

Almost every single person on campus is there. Nayeon went slightly viral when she dumped her situationship for Jeongyeon by throwing a smoothie over his head after he said something rude to her. Someone threatened to leak their ex’s nudes to the website because they were cheated on. Incels crowd on so they can hate on women while others live for the gossip, scrolling relentlessly to point and laugh even though their lives aren’t anything to be proud of.

It has yet to be taken down since nothing bad is actually exchanged besides harsh words but the site is barely moderated. Not as much as it should be.

Anyone who crosses a line has the potential to be sued but since most college students are broke, the possibility is rare. Sounds amazing, right?

Now poor Jeongguk is at the receiving end. You can’t believe someone is lying about sleeping with him and about him rebounding with someone else. Jeongguk hasn’t even had sex before and (as far as you know) you’re the only person who has touched him. Who could do something like this?

“Show me the post,” he asks, resting his elbows on the table’s surface.

Jimin searches it up on his phone and then places the device down, scrolling through the threads with a small pointer finger and clicking on one, then turning it towards you two.

The pictures take a second to load but reading the post header was enough to make your mouth run dry.

RG’s newest conquest: some loser 2nd year that was brutally dumped by Social Sciences student representative Kim Juri over the summer.

Oh great, Juri spread the rumor. Now you have the perfect reason to manifest her getting shit on by a bird.

“Wh–” you can’t even finish your sentence. The pictures load and it’s even worse than you imagined.

First is the two of you standing outside of your apartment building. There’s a breath of distance between your bodies and you’re laughing at something he said. His face crinkles as well, the dimples on his cheeks pop out. It looks friendly but it can easily be misconstrued.

And the second one is of the two of you hugging, squished together like you’re trying to become one whole person, and that seals the deal.

Your heart drops to the heels of your feet. You’re RG. Of course you’re fucking RG. Rebound Girl = RG. It’s practically part of your identity.

Suddenly, everything is making sense. The people laughing, staring at you; it’s another scandal all over again only this time, you roped in someone you actually cared about instead of someone broken hearted you decided to sleep with a few times. Now his name is soured by the stench of your bad decisions.

You want to cry. You didn’t–you couldn’t drag Jeongguk or anyone else for the matter into your mess.

It was always your problem to handle on your own. It was always your cross to bear. The guys you fucked never mattered once it was all said and done. Most of the time, they got street cred or they were praised while you were the dirty slut so it wasn’t like you could feel bad for them. They were always painted as the winners. But you’re terrified of what this could do for Jeongguk.

Would he get harassed? Made fun of for giving in easily? Would he lose his chances of finding someone he actually likes this year?

Would he want nothing to do with you afterwards?

You begin to panic, spiraling deep into the depths of your self-hating brain. How could you miss someone snapping a picture of you two in broad daylight? You should’ve done better.

This is the worst possible thing you could imagine coming out of hanging with Jeongguk is that he would become privy to the mess that is your social life. A small part of your brain even considered this, especially after Jeongguk rejected Juri but you let it go and now you’re pissed because you should’ve been smarter.

You should’ve pushed him away, studied on your own that night. No, you should’ve been more careful.

You should’ve never thought you could openly hang out with him and not suffer the consequences. What were you thinking?

Once everyone has read the post, Jimin takes his phone back and continues scrolling through. No one says anything for a moment, then:

“Guys, don’t believe a word that comes out of Kim Juri’s lying mouth. She hates us,” Nayeon motions to you, her and Jeongyeon, “and she’ll do anything to make other people follow suit. Trust me.” She stresses, even abandoning her meal to reiterate. Jeongyeon nods animatedly. But the problem is much deeper than that.

You wanted to be friends but she never entertained the idea after you got labeled as the rebound girl. Constantly tormenting you, throwing your promiscuity in your face, and denying your efforts to reconcile.

At some point, you grew some humility and dropped the idea of you and Juri ever getting along. You’re a girl's girl but you also don’t hate yourself to desperately pine over some mean girl’s approval.

So, now things have turned out like this.

This is so annoyingly unfair. It's tiring living like this, pretending like you aren’t bothered and that taking the high ground will benefit you. All you do is let Juri get away because you know deep down that fighting back has no point.

“What a loser,” Jimin curses, turning to you with that apologetic look on his soft features.

Taehyung does the same. “Yeah, she must have a lot of free time on her hands if this is all she does.”

You return their kind words with a weak but meaningful smile. It doesn’t make the storm brewing up inside of you go away. It just makes things worse. Because yes, Juri is a loser but she’s only a loser in your eyes. Everyone else sees her as the complete opposite. People will always be on her side. She’s done great PR to make you look like a dick-thirsty, back-stabbing bitch. There’s no way anyone would support you.

At the least, you’d have your two friends but Jeongguk and Jimin and Taehyung don’t need to be dragged into this war with Juri. Let them have fun, mess around, and be normal college kids while you take the heat. It’s always been that way after all.

Jeongyeon snorts. “She’ll get some karma in return for all of this. I can just feel it.”

There’s a slight lull in the conversation. You feel like the boys are doing their best to hold back from asking the question, the one that you really don’t want them to, while your friends are doing their best to maintain the light composure that was just there.

It’s coming. That question. You know it is.

Those words were blatantly on the screen and they aren’t idiots. They’re probably connecting the dots as you sit here and panic about it and you simply cannot handle those words coming from their mouths. Especially Jeongguk’s.

Considering you watched him grow up, he’s the last person you’d want to know about being the rebound girl.

Jeongguk’s mouth opens. You can practically see the cogs and wheels in his brain turn and that’s it for you.

Immediately, you get up from your spot. They all look at you, concerned and confused. There’s a heavy layer of pity that now disgusts you too much for you to stay.

“I should go,” you mumble, grabbing your things as quickly as possible.

All of their faces morph into shock. “What?” The three boys say at the same time.

“Babe, no, it’s fine.” Jeongyeon tries but you’ve already finished your food and your phone and bag are slung over your shoulder.

A single touch grazes the back of your hand. “Noona, you don’t have to–”

You shake your head and dip your eyes down, refusing to be reasonable.

“I’ll talk to you guys later. Bye.”

This is for the best.

Put some distance between you and Jeongguk, let the rumor die down a little, and then maybe you can hang out with him in private. Obviously no more kissing or hooking up so you’ll have to force whatever is growing inside of you to die off but you can do that. Yeah, no problem.

Then Jeongguk can find a girl he really likes and be with her without the implications of whatever went on between the two of you looming over his head and ruining his chances.

You turn and exit the cafeteria before anyone can stop you, taking long strides and putting a surgical mask over your face to block out your features. You even draw your hood up and shove earbuds in so you wouldn’t have to hear anymore whispers.

Although the effort is futile; all your brain does is repeat the same words over and over again.

Slut.

Whore.

Rebound girl.

They’re starting to become synonymous with your name. Maybe you should stop pretending like you’re anything different and just accept the name for what it is. Maybe Junho was right after all. Seojoon too.

Maybe you’re good for nothing else but a fun romp every once in a while. A tight hole and a soft wet mouth, pliant for any man who gives you attention because you’re so desperate for it, desperate for love.

You always thought that you were hardwired wrong by always believing men when they tell you that they’re broken and beg for you to lick their wounds. That you simply just never learn from your mistakes no matter how intense they get because of that idiotic faulty screw in your skull that wants you to give this guy the benefit of the doubt.

But maybe, you’re simply an awful person.

Maybe you don’t actually care about the guys. You just have some shitty savior complex turned into a hunger for hurting men. Maybe you’re an awful person who deserves this.

Before you can stop it, tears stream down your cheeks, rolling down your neck and underneath your hoodie as you walk as fast as you can towards the subway station. That tightness in your chest worsening as the very last bits of strength you were holding onto crumble into nothing.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The hangout was extremely impromptu.

Jeongguk hadn’t seen you for the rest of the week and he was starting to get worried. You had responded to his texts in short, curt words, saying you were sick and that your professors were emailing you PDFs of classwork so there was no need to pick up anything. When he offered to bring some soup, you declined once more saying your mom was already bringing some and since then, he hasn’t found another excuse to come see you.

It hurt. It hurt watching you get hurt, it hurt watching you hold back tears as you ran off to hide your hurt and it fucking hurts watching you pretend like everything is okay when it’s not.

Jeongguk doesn’t care about the rumor. So what if people were staring and he got teased every now and then? It’s not true so it didn’t matter.

But he realized, seeing your reaction, that the two of you were getting treated differently.

While everyone was praising him for getting laid by “rebound girl,” and other girls began debating his potential in bed, you were getting vilified beyond anything. He heard girls in his class degrade you, calling you a slut, a whore, saying that you’d sleep with anyone if it gave you enough attention. Jeongguk would glare in their direction, scaring them off, but the whispers still swirled around him.

After that, he wanted that stupid website to be filled with malware and be destroyed. Hell, he’d do it himself if that wasn’t a cybercrime. This whole thing has been blown way out of proportion.

And, holy shit, the things men have been saying to him…

It’s honestly disgusting.

Ayyy, get it Jeon!

Knew you were a fucking stallion behind that nerdy look you got goin on.

Did she suck you off? I heard she’s really good with her mouth.

Someone came up to him and expressed regret that Jeongguk was the first and only second year to get with rebound girl, claiming he wanted to be the first but because you’re so picky, he couldn’t. Jeongguk had almost punched him but Taehyung held him back, reminding him that he could lose his scholarship too if he stooped too low.

He hates this and he hates that you have to go through something like this.

For the past few days, all Jeongguk could think about was how strong you were. He doesn’t know how you got this nickname, why it’s such a big deal to everyone around you, but he wished it never happened. Thanks to this rumor, you had to grow a thick skin so that you could simply be you and not have to worry about other people but unfortunately, misogyny is rampant. It made you become strong, become resilient, and he wishes that it wasn’t because of that.

Jeongguk thought up some kind of plan to get Juri to take the post down or to publicly clear the air but he also didn’t want to play the white knight, trampling all over a situation that barely involved him. Stepping on your toes by trying to solve this could only hurt you further.

So all he could do was wait.

Wait for you to text back, wait for you to reappear.

Jeongguk grows antsy and he tries to distract himself from worrying. School isn’t helping one bit so he plays games and goes to the gym as much as he can. And when that doesn’t work well–

Thankfully, his friends are an interesting bunch which brings him back to the reason why this whole hang out started.

Nayeon and Jeongyeon were walking over with Jimin while Taehyung was hounding Jeongguk at the campus entrance over something he absolutely hates doing: buying weed.

“C’mon, he’s literally giving it to you for free!” Taehyung whined, showing the text on Jeongguk’s phone to him like he hasn’t already read it, eyes rolling at his friends’ desperation.

Let’s get one thing clear: Jeongguk has no problem with weed. He almost had an edible once by complete accident but he spit the rest out the minute his cousin told him that the gummy was laced with contraband so the effect didn’t do much for him. Being friends with these two dipshits means that the smell constantly follows him and he’s used to dealing with their giggly asses every now and then. Taehyung has a bong hidden in his apartment while Jimin aptly had a bright pink pipe patterned with cats all over it but he dropped it and loudly sobbed when the thing cracked in half.

He isn’t a goody-two shoes but, speaking candidly, he’s never really felt the need to do it.

It’s the same with alcohol. Jeongguk doesn’t get the urge to sit down with a beer and crack one open after a long day nor does he ever want to get shitfaced for fun. He needs to have complete control over himself and everything he does and everything he says because he gets the feeling that he’d be the type to tell someone his PIN number when inebriated or irritate everyone with his antics which is probably related to his anxiety but whatever. So nothing about the practice is relaxing to him. Getting drunk or high can actually make Jeongguk really fucking nervous but his peers disagree.

Especially Taehyung who is a staunch believer that smoking weed is the best way to calm down and that food tastes better when high. Jeongguk is a bit curious about that last bit.

But back to the begging. To make a long fucking story short: Jeongguk knows a dealer.

Not voluntarily. A seedy 3rd year who he also tutored over the summer made sure to let Jeongguk know that he would give him some free shit he wanted as payback for all of the help passing Chemistry. Never did he think he’d take the guy up on his offer until now.

Taehyung filled everyone in on the backstory and now Jeongguk has four people begging him like dogs wanting a treat. He pinches the bridge of his nose, sighing in irritation.

“What if I get caught?” He asked; the most important question.

Jimin countered back. “You won’t. He’s literally going to hand you a regular-ass bag and no one will suspect a thing. We can take it from you as soon as you get back here and smoke some today,” he offered, met with cheers of approval.

Jeongguk’s chest twists. He wishes you were here to help. You were still nowhere to be found and he misses you so much. You’d probably laugh that cute laugh of yours, egg Jeongguk on with the rest of them but have concern in your pretty eyes to let him know that this wasn’t peer pressure. That he could say no and it wouldn’t be a bad thing.

Unfortunately, he has to face this alone.

Jeongguk gives the two girls a surprised look. “Did you two already finish your tin of edibles?”

“Nah, we’re gonna save that for midterms so we can get zonked and watch Shark Tale while eating fried chicken.” Jeongyeon answers, tugging Nayeon close.

“Awww,” Taehyung pouted. “Can we do that?” Turning to his boyfriend and gently gripping the sleeve of his shirt.

Jimin winked at the younger. “Whatever you want baby,” then turned to the other, “but only if Einstein over here can grow some balls and say yes.” Taehyung directs his puckered lips towards him, batting his eyelashes like a cartoon character.

Jeongguk is a weak man. He can be a people pleaser but only to those who he loves. His sisters, you and his two best friends fall into that category.

Because one pout from Taehyung and he folds, like the weak man he is.

“Fuck, fine. I’ll ask,” he unlocks his phone and texts the dude. “But only once! Just go to your trusted guy after this, okay?”

Taehyung and Jimin salute him. “Yes sir!”

Jeongguk texts the guy to hand it over to him after his last class after lunch, who was more than happy to supply the guy who helped him pass his summer classes. In fact, he looked proud, jabbing Jeongguk with his pointy elbow and saying that he’s finally pulling that stick out of his ass. Whatever, Jeongguk is not that uptight. He can have fun in lots of other ways!

But Jimin was right. The smell is barely there and the bag itself looks inconspicuous. His curiosity took over him to peek inside while walking with the others. There was a silver tin, a bag of powdered weed, a pack of peach ring edibles and two brownies.

“Fuck, this is so much,” Jeongyeon marvels at the bag as they reach the outside of ana apartment building, pulling out the silver tin and gasping when it opens up to a set of rolled joints. “Oh my, he gave you pre-rolled joints! We’re hitting these right now.”

Which is how Jeongguk found himself in Nayeon's studio apartment. Sitting around a coffee table with the spiked food and her TV playing Sailor Moon. He did his best to not think about how her room looked a lot like yours with all of the cute stuffed animals and posters and how her little pomeranian dog yapped happily whenever he gave it attention. The bed that he’s leaning against reminds him of the same bed where the two of you laid while your lips and hands and tongue made him feel things he’s never felt before.

Jeongguk can’t stop thinking about you. It takes all of his restraint not to shoot you a text, not to associate everything he sees with memories of you and that night in particular.

But he should stop so he idiotically doesn’t pop a boner with everyone else around. Thinking of you usually does that for him.

So he focuses on the clouds of smoke blown right in front of his face as Nayeon starts on the joint. She coughs just a bit, then passes it to Jeongyeon who takes two indulgent puffs and then passes it to Taehyung and then Jimin. Their eyes glaze over, tension from the long school day disappearing as the drugs take their effect.

“You wanna try it?” Jimin asks, holding the flamed stick towards Jeongguk. He stares down at it, then up at his friends’ reddened eyes.

Does he?

Everyone else seems so relaxed and Jeongguk could use some relaxation. Besides, it won’t kill him to take one hit. He’s surrounded by seasoned potheads so they’ll know what to do. It’ll be fine. Everything is fine. Maybe he’ll stop fretting over you and relax. Clear his brain for once.

Carefully, he places the tip between his lips and Taehyung explains the process. Inhale, hold it for a bit, exhale slowly. It’s supposed to burn at first and then it’ll get better. He coughs like a motherfucker and his throat might as well be on fire. But he drinks some water, tries again, and it’s a lot easier.

Weed has a particular taste that Jeongguk doesn’t mind. The smoke is somewhat bitter on his tongue and then earthy. He feels nothing then, five minutes later, he gets this lightness in his chest and head. Or a fuzziness is more like it. He’s almost sleepy and really hungry. Jeongguk begins devouring a packet of chocolate covered pretzels and then scarfing down two slices of pizza right after eating lunch only two hours ago. Those two things have never tasted so good before.

Jeongguk also finds that weed makes him giggly. Like really giggly.

He spent two minutes laughing at the way his toes looked with his toe socks on. Then about how long Taehyung’s fingers are in comparison to Jimin’s, then about the word duty (hilarious) to the point of tears springing from his eyes. Then Jeongyeon wanted to paint his nails which Jeongguk was all for and he chose a metallic midnight blue which she skilfully painted before starting on the others. Taehyung got maroon and Jimin got lilac.

Afterwards, the conversation lulled and their stomachs were full. Most of them were on the brink of falling asleep until Jimin proposed they all play a game.

It was basically the game Hot Takes but without any cards with prompts and dividing up into teams. Basically each person had to share a “hot take,” or an opinion/commentary that’s uncommon or meant to start a debate.

Which is a great game to play when the entire gang is not sober.

Taehyung started off with a simple one: people who don’t like pineapple on pizza are immature babies. This sparked quite the argument to the point where Jeongyeon was questioning their friendship before the timer went off. Then she shared hers.

Men who don’t like cats are red flags. This is factually true though. No one really disagreed so they moved on.

Then Jimin went. His was: Men who refuse to listen to female artists are also raging red flags. Very much true. No debate there.

Then Jeongguk: Vanilla is the worst ice cream flavor. It tastes like a candle. Like nothing. Jeongguk hates tasteless things. Some agreed with him, Jimin glared at him from the side but his cheeks were puffed with food so he’s nowhere near as intimidating as he’d think.

Then came Nayeon. She cleared her throat, then popped a green tea kit kat in her mouth. “As someone who has hooked up with both men and women, I can surely say that men don’t know how to give head.” She says confidently.

Silence rings in the air for a moment. Jeongyeon is sitting smug next to her girlfriend, while Jimin and Taehyung look confused.

And Jeongguk…well, he’s a bit confused too.

“Excuse you, I give great head,” Jimin places a hand on his chest, offended. “Have you seen these luscious lips? And I don’t have a gag reflex!”

Nayeon rolls her eyes. “Okay, well I don’t know how it goes for men but I’m talking about going down on women. They suck at it and most women agree.” Her arms cross over her chest confidently.

Jeongguk immediately thinks about you. He wants to know if you would agree.

Taehyung rests his head on Jeongguk’s shoulder. “How so?”

“They don’t do the right things. Porn has rotted their brains to thinking that moaning into it and moving their tongue around you is enough when it isn’t. You can’t just wiggle it around and expect me to scream and come like a paid actress.” Nayeon huffs. “I used to think something was wrong with me until,” she trails off, pink dusting her cheeks and it’s clear what she meant. Jeongyeon’s shoulders grow even higher with confidence. “A-and you can’t even tell them that it doesn’t feel good because then you bruise their ego and they’ll never do it again.”

Hearing that, Jeongguk begins to panic.

Is he like that? Did he not listen to you that night?

Fuck, he’s so selfish. Did you even enjoy it when he touched you? Did he even ask?

No You definitely felt something, he felt you coming, but was it good? Was he being selfish?

Oh god. Oh godgodgodgod.

“Honestly, they should take note from us,” Jeongyeon pulls Nayeon close. “I’ve never gotten complaints.” She looks cutely proud.

Taehyung pipes up. “I think us gays are just better at sex,” he feigns nonchalance while everyone hollers and toasts to their perfect, idealistic, amazing sex lives.

Everyone but Jeongguk.

All he does is think

That night when he got hard, he had no idea things would escalate to where they did but he’s so glad because he loved every second of it. From kissing, to your teasing tone, to your mouth around him, to his fingers inside of you and all the way until you came; it was perfect. Since then, Jeongguk has thought about another opportunity way more than he’d like to admit. He’s more confident now and he wants to try more things.

Gone is the first time insecurity. Jeongguk wants to take control, watch you shake and cry and beg for more. He wants you to feel good. That, in and of itself, is hot to him.

But he also wants to do well. Jeongguk doesn’t want to be like the guys Nayeon was talking about.

He knows the best way would be to directly ask you what you like but you aren’t here right now and Jeongguk knows he’ll chicken out when you’re all spread out underneath him and pretty all because he wants to impress you.

Besides, he’s relied on porn this far and if Nayeon says it’s a bad example, then he needs to learn.

Might as well take advantage of having two people who know how to please women and understand the basics.

Sober Jeongguk would never. Sober Jeongguk would worry himself into a panic attack and then use the internet instead of an actual person but sober Jeongguk isn’t here at the moment.

At some point, Jimin and Taehyung fall asleep on top of each other with their hands half inside the pizza box and that’s when he gains the courage to go talk to your friends.

Meekly, he slinks over to the kitchen where Nayeon and Jeongyeon are standing. Their backs pressed against the counter while the kettle boils some water for ramen. They’re laughing about something until Nayeon makes eye contact with him and kindly raises a brow.

“What’s up?”

He wasn’t so nervous at first but looking at her, Jeongguk is now getting nervous. “Um, so–uh– about the-the game we were playing,” he wipes his sweaty hands on his pants. “I wanted to–and please feel free to tell me to fuck off if you’re uncomfortable, I’m not trying to be weird or anything, but–”

“Spit it out, kid,” Jeongyeon teases, poking the dimple in his cheek and making him flinch.

Jeongguk exhales shakily, trying to slow his heart rate down some more.

“Are all guys really that bad when they…um, when they, you know…” He circles his hands so they can fill in the blank and thankfully, the two pick up what he’s saying. Nayeon laughs at his stuttery behavior.

“Well, I’m sure there are some guys out there that are great at eating girls out but not the ones I’ve met.” She takes a joint that was resting on a tray on the counter top, inhaling deeply, and then offers it to Jeongguk who accepts. “They just don’t know what they’re doing and they have no interest in learning, unlike women. Sex is an individual thing for them. Their pleasure and their feelings only.” Locks of honey blonde float in the air with the gentle breeze from the open kitchen window. “Why do you ask? Plan on doing it?”

He blushes, holding the smoke in for a few seconds before releasing it. “Y-yeah,” avoiding their eyes because this is so goddamn embarrassing what is he doing and it’s you he’s talking about. But they don’t have to know that. “I want her to feel good and you said that women are better at it. So I wanna learn how.”

Jeongguk wants you to feel good.

Ever since he first touched you, he can’t get it out of his head. The noises you make, the way your legs twitch and your hips rise when you’re just about to come is so fucking hot. Jeongguk can’t imagine how much sexier you’d sound with your legs wrapped around his head or seated on his face as you come over and over and over again. Wet and sobbing and spent on top of him just like you deserve.

But, he needs to gain some understanding before he does anything.

Jeongyeon smiles. Jeongguk is unsure if they know he’s talking about you or if they’re assuming he’s got some other girl on the side that he wants to please but he can’t worry about that right now. Golden advice is being poured into his ears like fresh ambrosia from the gods themselves.

“Alright, all you have to do is…”

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“Are you almost home?” You hear your mom’s voice pour from the speakers in your earbuds.

Looking down the end of the street, you see your apartment building, so you bring the microphone close to your lips to speak. “Yeah, like ten seconds away.” Thank god too, your arms were hurting from carrying your tote bag and the packaged food your mom sent you away with.

After Tuesday, when you were publicly humiliated, you didn’t go back to school. Walking home in the rain without an umbrella gave you a slight cold and that combined with the pain you felt emotionally, resulted in you needing to go home for two days. There’s something about being doted on, eating home-cooked food, and the comfort of a parent that makes all sicknesses feel like nothing. Thankfully, she lives a 30 minute train ride from here on the opposite side of Seoul.

It was nice. You didn’t tell your mom about what had gone down. Just gave her a basic run down as to why you got sick and not much else.

Oh and you did tell her that you and Jeongguk reconnected but that’s about it. There’s no telling how your mother would react if she found out the two of you hooked up. You’re close with her but not that close.

But now that you’re feeling better, you;ll probably call him and explain yourself. Then put an end to hooking up for good so you don’t repeat this mistake.

“Make sure you carry that mini umbrella in your bag. I keep on telling you and you never listened to me,” she lectures, making you groan.

“I know, I know, you were right,” your tone is light so she can tell you’re just messing with her. “I’ll put one in my bag as soon as I get home, okay?”

“Okay,” she sighs. The sound of the doorbell rings in the background. “Oh shoot, okay. I have to go darling, the repairman is here to fix the washing machine. Bye! Stay safe! Eat the soup!”

You reach the front of your apartment building anyways so no need to call. “Bye mom,” you mumble back, opening the front door and then walking to the elevators because you are too exhausted for the stairs. To use them, you scan the sensor on your keys and press the up button.

It’s quiet in this lobby. No music, no group of people giggling or talking about their plans. It’s a Saturday evening and this building, filled with college students, is pin drop silent.

You hate it because it leaves you alone with your tired, buzzing brain who has not been kind to you these past few days.

Ever since that cursed post on GossipLeaks, you’ve been regretting the day you ever let a man into your life romantically. The day you had sex for the first time has been the catalyst in all of this. No peace, no happiness, just slut shaming and pain.

Honestly, what’s the most annoying part about all of this is that your body count isn’t that high.

Not that any number of hookups should warrant this kind of treatment. It’s no one’s business and shaming people for having healthy consensual sex is so lame.

Leaving Jeongguk out because you didn’t sleep with him, you’ve fucked about 30 guys. That’s over the course of almost four years since you had sex for the first time in high school. It’s not that bad. There are guys on this campus bragging about their count being in the 200s yet not a single word of criticism or judgment is thrown their way. They’re praised and seen as gods.

But when you have some fun casual sex every once in a while, suddenly you’re a harlot and you deserve nothing. Yeah, that sounds fair.

Switching the song on your playlist to 505 by the Arctic Monkeys, you exit the elevator to your floor and pull your keys out from the pocket of your hoodie. It’s dinner time and your mom packed your favorite.

You open the door to find Snowball yowling at you for attention. You had Nayeon and Jeongyeon take care of her while you were back home. She’s usually pretty okay with them but some days she simply needs to have you around. Today must’ve been one of those days. Cooing, you set your bag on the ground and reach towards her to scratch the side of her face and pinch her cheeks.

“Sorry baby, I’m home now, okay?” Snowball purrs in response. You pick her up and cuddle with her in your lap for a little bit until she’s had enough attention for now.

To compensate for your absence, you got some treats too and the little ball of fur happily eats up the salmon treats while you put the food away.

Then you light up a candle, open your windows to let the stuffy air out and begin on a few simple chores. Mainly putting the dry dishes back in the cupboard, cleaning the cat litter, some laundry and finally taking out the trash.

You always enjoy doing these kinds of things, especially after a long few days of eating garbage and wallowing in your sick sadness. It feels nice to have fresh sheets and an empty trash can (you do the others daily already). Like a reset, a new start, which is just what you needed.

Although, part of you feels bad for avoiding your friends for so long.

Let’s be honest, you were embarrassed beyond anything and then the rain actually gave you a cold so some time away was 100% necessary. However, you wish you didn’t storm out without much of an explanation. You were just so embarrassed and sad and you didn’t want to cry in front of people who were clearly laughing at your demise.

Bolting was the best choice but now that you’ve had your space, you really just want to explain yourself to the three of them, specifically Jeongguk who is directly affected by shit like this.

While boys have it infinitely easier because they aren’t ostracized for their sexual activity, he must be uncomfortable with all of the questions being thrown his way. Maybe you’ll call him over the weekend for coffee and let him know or you could actually just facetime him so you won’t have to leave your house. Whatever, you’ll figure it out later.

Before depositing the bags of trash to the large bins outside the apartment building, you take a quick shower, changing into a freshly washed set of clothes that are still warm from the dryer.

Smelling like fresh laundry and the flowery scent of your lotion, you hum a song under your lips while taking the three bags outside to the bins. You think nothing of it. It’s around 8pm, most people are out right now, either going back home or leaving it. Tons of bodies are expected.

Quickly, you round to the back of the building, dump the bags, and just as you turn the corner, your eyes meet that special pair.

Big, sparkly, innocent when they want to be, salacious at times, but endearing nonetheless.

“Jeongguk,” you exhale.

He looks good, great, actually. The wind has tousled his hair around, making it look like he styled it to be messy and fluffy. Jeongguk has mastered an effortless look with a dark blue windbreaker, black cargos and white chunky sneakers. You can even see some rings on his fingers that match the ones hanging from his earlobes.

Jeongguk turns at the sound of your voice and immediately rushes over to you. “Noona,” his eyes soften immediately, “Are you feeling better?” He asks, delicately holding you away with two hands on either side of your arms.

His touch is warm, even through the thick material of your hoodie. Makes your stomach flip.

“Yeah, lots.” You giggle barely, patting his arm softly. “What are you doing here?” Jeongguk removes his hold on you, shoving them into the pockets of his jacket.

“I had a meeting with my league captain’s place two blocks from here and I was going to catch the train using the station near your place.”

“Oh.” You open your mouth to say something but his stomach rumbles loudly and Jeongguk covers the area up with his arms in embarrassment, making you smile. “Hungry?” He blinks at you widely and cutely.

“Yeah but only if you’re okay with it. I know,” he looks to the side awkwardly, “I know you wanted space and all so it’s cool if not. I can get Subway or something.”

As kind as it is for Jeongguk to respect this boundary that you haven’t verbally admitted is already somewhat gone, you’d feel bad letting him walk around on an empty stomach.

“I’m cool with it. My mom packed way too much anyways.” You shrug to make him more likely to say yes. Thankfully, it works.

Jeongguk scratches the back of his neck, sniffling from the cold once and then nodding. So you beckon him to walk next to you, back inside your apartment building and inside the elevator.

The conversation is brief and minimal, mainly asking about his week and how his meeting with his league went. You get brief responses in return which make you think he’s either annoyed with you or simply too hungry for chit chat. It’s slightly annoying that you don’t have the courage to be forthright and ask him how he’s feeling as if you didn’t have this man’s dick in your mouth a week ago.

Come on, you think as the elevator doors part. What’s the worst that he could say?

“Yeah, I am annoyed because you left for three days and I haven’t heard from you since.”

Well, you had a reason and a valid one at that. Besides, Jeongguk wouldn’t be annoyed over something so understandable.

The keys unlock the front door and you hold it open for Jeongguk, who slips his sneakers off and is immediately met by a curious Snowball. The moment she recognizes him, she headbuts her head into his calf, purring loudly.

“Hi baby,” he coos, petting her after plopping on the ground. You watch from halfway to the kitchen, a smile instantly forming on your lips as Snowball practically melts under his touch.

“She missed you,” you muse. “Looks like you’re the favorite.”

Jeongguk snorts. “Doubt it,” he looks up at you through his lashes, flashing the one deep dimple he has on his cheek along with the various creases in his skin.

Your heart flutters immediately.

“I’ll reheat the food.”

There’s a comfortable silence that resumes among the two of you. Jeongguk moves to the coffee table, leans against the edge of your bed and pets a purring Snowball while you tinker in the kitchen. He turns on the TV, watches a replay of some Mnet performance and hums along softly. You bring the steaming dishes out along with rice and chopsticks, settling a comfortable distance from the younger and eating.

He doesn’t say a word. You change the channel to the k-drama you were just binging during the train ride that you’ve watched maybe 900 times and Jeongguk doesn’t say anything.

Your eyes well up at the romantic scenes and you bury your feelings into green tea Kit-Kats and tea. Jeongguk doesn’t say anything.

He doesn’t say a single word until the food is all done, the drama rolls the credits and Snowball has moved to a corner far away to sleep. Then Jeongguk gains the courage to ask you.

“Do you…do you want to talk about it?” Jeongguk asks meekly.

At first, you had no idea what he meant. Then it hits.

Of course he’d want some answers. It’s his name that’s attached to your stupid label. Not like you can keep Jeongguk in the dark forever, right?

You had prepared yourself for this so you weren’t as uncomfortable but when the time hits, you sort of want to crawl into a ball and die.

You sigh, keeping your eyes on the half-finished bag of Kit-Kats. “No… yes… sort of.”

The thing is, only two people know the full story: Nayeon and Jeongyeon. Your mom knows about high school but those two have every detail.

Usually, you wouldn’t be so keen on spilling this out to anyone but the look on Jeongguk’s face is genuine concern and he isn’t some sleazy hookup you met at a bar. Jeongguk actually cares about you. He won’t use this against you or shame you. He’s asking because he cares. So it should be okay.

Besides, it gets tiring holding all of this in from your mom and adding on each shitty story to the pile. It’s close to overflowing inside of you and you need to let some out.

Jeongguk is trustworthy. He knows you. So you decide to start from the beginning of all of this.

“My track record with guys isn’t exactly clean,” you start, staring at the Hello Kitty pattern on your socks. “The first guy I slept with only did it as a bet because he knew I really liked him.” There’s a drop in your stomach at the mere mention of Seojoon. His gentle laughter and rough hands and how he barely even flinched when he saw how much you were crying when you found out. “He told me we were dating and that he was in love with me. I stupidly believed him and let him take my virginity because I wanted him so bad that I didn’t even see the red flags. Then I saw him making out with another girl and… it sort of broke me.”

Back then, you were quite the target. You were poor, your clothes and books were cheap, you didn’t have the newest phone or the nicest stationery and other classmates loved to point that out about you. All you wanted was to be accepted, to have friends, and fall in love.

Everyone seems to romanticize teenage love but they never seem to talk about how difficult teenage loneliness is either.

Seeing couples or hearing people talk about love like it was so easy made you want to scream into the void. Why couldn’t you have that? You wanted it so bad but why wasn’t it coming to you? Were you not lovable? Not worthy of a crush?

Seojoon was supposed to be your chance at teenage love only for him to hurt you the most.

That summer break, you swore you were going to die alone. The empty loneliness began to consume you. All you wanted was for someone to care about you and instead you got ridiculed. For having feelings. It was awful and you never cared about love again.

Some part of your brain is convinced that men are incapable of feeling love. Look at your dad, leaving without a second word, and look at Seojoon. You loved them and they burned you.

“Then, I started college and I decided that I wouldn’t let another guy manipulate me like that ever again. I was going to stay single for a while which was fine because my department got along. We weren’t super close but it was cordial, especially us first year girls. We’d get snacks, do homework, bake together and gossip a lot. Mostly the latter because all of us were kind of obsessed with this older guy, Junho.” You explain, imagining his honey sweet smile and eyes. “He was a class representative for the Econ department with a reputation for dating around and all of the girls, aside from Jeongyeon, used to dream that one day, he’d pick one of us and we’d get our happy ever after.”

It was fun. He was sort of like the department’s prince charming or It-Boy. Girls would flock around him, sometimes you included, just to get a glimpse of the Junho.

Jeongguk rests his chin on his knees that are folded up to his chest, staring intently at you as you continue to speak. “The thing is, Junho was actually really nice even though he was a total fuck boy. He just had a quality about him that made everyone like him. He was sociable and easy to talk to and cute but I never made a move. I was perfectly okay with finding him attractive from a distance because in my head, he was just this guy I thought was cute. That’s all I allowed myself to feel while the other girls kissed his cheek and asked for photos when they could.”

You knew that was for the better anyways.

Guys like Junho were a lot like Seojoon. Their egos were nice and fluffed to the point where they saw girls as expendable. If one said no, there’s a high chance one will just because they’re so blessed in genetics. Back then, you didn’t want to suffer the pain you felt because of Seojoon so you kept a distance and smiled as the other girls were living the dream.

“At some point, one girl he was messing around with absolutely rejected him in front of everyone and you could tell it hurt because he actually liked her. He didn’t show up at school for a few days and when he did, he wasn’t the old Junho. Instead, he was standoffish and quiet. Girls still wanted him but the interest changed from wanting to pin him down with commitment to healing his broken heart.” You stare at your fingernails, chipped nail polish revealing your pink nail beds. “I still kept my distance. I mean, what happened sucks but I wasn’t going to worry about it.” That’s what happens when you treat girls like shit. “Until I found him buying soju at a convenience store one night.”

A big mistake.

Jeongguk’s expression doesn’t change one bit and you’re glad for that. It makes you think he isn’t judging you in his head.

“He says hi and asks if he can talk to me and even though I wanted to say no, I couldn’t. I was starving and I wanted to eat at the store but I couldn’t disrespect him by rejecting him unless I wanted to get mauled the next day at school,” you explain. The seniority was insane. Still is. “So Junho and I ate together and then he just started trauma dumping on me about his failed relationship.”

Going on and on about how he was such a good guy and she was the first girl he ever really liked and that she was different and that she could change him for the better. Looking at it now, that was a sack of shit but nineteen year old you was eating up every word.

Especially when he started hitting deep.

“He was crying on my shoulder and I just felt so bad. I mean, sure, Junho was a player but I know what it feels like to want someone so bad and almost be punished for it. So I tried to console him by giving some basic ass advice like it’ll stick around if it’s meant to be. I don’t even think he was listening,” a sardonic laugh leaves you at what comes next. At how idiotic you were. “I guess halfway through my spiel he realized I was a girl with boobs who was a inches away from him and his primitive man brain just connected these imaginary dots. Since I had sympathy for him, I must want to console him even further with sex. So he asked if he could kiss me.”

Jeongguk doesn’t say anything but his chin tucks in and that’s enough of a reaction for you to continue.

“And you wanna know what I said? Yes.” You laugh again at your utter stupidity. “Not only because I was attracted to him but because I actually felt so sorry for him that I was willing to be his one-way ticket to happiness. I didn’t want him to feel worthless anymore, not like I did when Seojoon rejected me.” White hot shame burns your skin, your insides, all throughout your body. “I wanted to give him the fraction of attention I wished someone could’ve given me back then. I thought it would maybe soothe some of my old wounds too, maybe we…we both could move on from this.” It sounds so illogical right now but back then, it made complete sense. “We slept together one night and the next morning, after leaving me in his bed without another word, Junho tells everyone.”

It started with his chummy friend group, typically bragging after getting laid and getting his ego boosted. Like how every rumor or story passes around and Junho made sure to leave in the juicy details.

“He said I was the best rebound lay he’s ever had and that I made sure to make him feel like a king again,” you roll your eyes. All you did was blow him before letting him put it in. That should not constitute this much embellishment. “His friends told their friends who told other people and somehow the entire school knew I slept with him. That day, I walked onto campus and guys who never gave me the time of day before were suddenly so interested in me.” Which you didn’t mind but it did get annoying when they would look everywhere but your face. “I didn’t think anything else would happen. Only, I forgot how the girls would react.”

Remember, Junho was the It-Boy. Everyone wanted him and if you got to sleep with him, you were either harassed and slut-shamed or praised. It depended on how Junho reacted. Now, you didn’t hurt him so you thought you were in the clear but that rule ended up changing.

Because now all the guys wanted you and some girls didn’t like that.

“They were annoyed that I got with him first without consulting them. Thinking I wanted all of this attention and I wanted to be the first girl from our year to sleep with them like this was some kind of competition when that couldn’t be the farthest from the truth. I explained myself and I told them it was a one time thing and I was only trying to comfort him but it didn’t matter. They made their decision. My fate was sealed. I became rebound girl.” It took one simple night for your entire college life to be ruined. “Guys would come to me, complain about their broken hearts, manage to get to me because I’m easy and I always manage to convince myself that they mean no harm when they always do, sleep with me, then tell the entire school the next day. Rinse and repeat. I’m an idiot,” you exhale, hiding your face in your hands.

It’s such a painful sensation to want to cry but no tears come out. You want to scream, shout into the sky about how frustrating this entire thing is but you don’t have the energy.

All you feel is exhaustion. Accepting this fate is your only option. You dug this grave, now go lie in it alone, like you deserve.

“I should’ve known. I should’ve been smart enough to stop after the first person but I keep on giving these guys the benefit of the doubt and trusting them when they actually say they want me when–I just–ugh, I’m so–”

Then something warm gently scoots across your back and your nose is filled with the scent of cotton and floral notes. The arm curls around you, cupping your shoulder as the other one rounds your front and Jeongguk is hugging you.

Okay and maybe the position is awkward and maybe you’re about as red as a tomato with anger but this hug is just what you needed.

Throughout the week, all you did was blame yourself and convince yourself to keep some distance from Jeongguk. You didn’t want to ruin his reputation or bring him into your mess with this weird love triangle with Juri because he simply didn’t deserve that just for being your friend and letting you suck him off once. But your heart simply wasn’t in it. You didn’t want to leave the one person that reminds you of your childhood and feels like home.

“You’re not an idiot,” Jeongguk says.

You sigh. “You don’t have to–”

Jeongguk interrupts you. “No,” he presses firmly. “So what if you slept with that Junho guy? What does it matter to everyone else?” He huffs cutely with his thick brows all furrowed and lips slightly pouty. “Why do they get to shame you when there are tons of other college students doing the same thing? Why are you the only one in the wrong?”

Jeongguk is right. Lots of people have lots of sex. Guys are on the higher side but there are people out there having regular hookups. You get chastised for it.

But at the same time…

“I allowed this to happen, Jeongguk.”

Even if those guys tried to get to you with their sob stories, you still said yes at the end of the day. You played into this reputation. Aren’t you at fault too?

“You didn’t allow anything, though.” He sighs, turning more to you, hands cupping your cheeks to get you to meet his gaze, thumbs tracing the skin under your eyes. “Noona. This isn’t your fault. Please don’t blame yourself for this.”

“It feels like it. No matter what I do, people will always see me as some big bad slut. How can I not believe it?” It’s your turn to sigh, gently pushing Jeongguk’s hold off your face and turning to the side. “Have people been treating you differently?”

Is it as bad as you think? Are girls refusing to talk to him? Boys usually never get the kind of treatment you do but you can’t help but panic.

Jeongguk waves it off. “No,” his eyes roll heavily and it doesn’t soothe you. “Like there are a few comments here and there but it’s all praise.”

Momentarily, you are relieved that he isn’t being ridiculed for sleeping with you. At least, you think, at the very least boys will always get away with their promiscuity. You can count on that.

“Still. Being associated with me in that way is just no good, Guk,” you remind him, even though pushing him away is the last thing you want. You want him close, to feel his touch, to kiss his lips and be with him. There’s a fire brewing inside you and it hasn’t been quenched since the first time you got to kiss him. All it does is ask for more chances.

To kill that flame would take a lot from you and you already don’t have much to give.

Jeongguk links your fingers together and rests them on his outstretched thigh, searching your eyes to gain your attention. “I don’t care about a bunch of random people and their opinion. It’s not going to stop me from seeing you. Not them and not that Juri girl, okay?”

Fucking Juri.

She spearheaded all of that hatred towards you when Junho spilled the beans on you sleeping with him. She was the one behind the scenes telling all of the other girls in your grade just how awful and back-stabbing you were. You hadn’t even wronged her. Sure, she liked Junho just as much as everyone else did but you still had yet to hit her where she was really sensitive.

“Juri never liked me. The first time we met, she had this impression with the way I dressed or if some guy looked at me too long. As if she could already tell I was the type of girl to seduce every guy in my vicinity.” It didn't matter what you wore, some guys just stared because the way society oversexualizes everything about a woman. You weren’t a person to them, you were an object with tits and a nice ass. “When the rumor got out, it was like her first impression was confirmed and she was telling everyone else how awful I was.” It just gets worse and worse delving into this topic and while Jeongguk hasn’t been scared off just yet, this might be it. You sigh, avoiding his eyes for your conjoined hands to comfort you. “After Junho there was this other guy, I think his name was Sunghoon, and he was best friends with Junho. Juri had a massive thing for him, even more than whatever she felt for Junho, but I didn’t know because we were never friends.”

No one knew but Juri’s circle. It was a secret crush after all.

“Sunghoon heard about me from Junho and wanted to sleep with me too. I was already upset about Junho telling everyone so I ended up rejecting him since it was too soon but he still told everyone we did it anyway. Of course, everyone believed him no matter what I said. My reputation was set in stone.” You feel Jeongguk squeeze your hand tightly when your voice wobbles slightly. You swallowed down any pain you felt inside. “Juri was furious and now all of the other girls had perfect reason to hate me because I apparently stole her man. I tried to tell her that I didn’t know and that I’m sorry and that it wasn’t even true but she didn’t want to hear it.”

Part of you doesn’t want to blame her. You know what it feels like when the guy you like chooses another girl. It hurts more than anything else, digs at your insecurities, begs the question if you are loveable or some ugly beast.

But Juri was never kind to you to begin with. She isn’t a girl’s girl, she’s someone who will do anything for male validation. Even if it means losing all of her friends.

So you know what? You don’t need someone like that in your life.

Nayeon and Jeongyeon would never do something like that.

“Did anyone else lie about having sex with you?”

A sad scoff leaves your lips. “You wanna know what the actual number is?” Jeongguk nods. “30. But ask anyone in our school, they’ll easily say 300 or some shit. Most guys have lied.”

Not like anyone will fact check. Junho did enough embellishment so all of the other guys could simply say your name and they’d believe it.

That’s what reputation is. A label attached to a person so powerful that it does things on its own. And you had a reputation for being a slut who fixes broken men.

Jeongguk groans, breaking you out of your train of thought. “This is so frustrating.” Your head turns, finds genuine anger on his boyish features. “All of those guys came to you. Junho and that Sunghoon guy and Seojoon all came to you and made you think they needed to have sex with you to feel good,” Jeongguk stresses. “And then you get punished for being a victim to their games.”

A man can be promiscuous all he wants but a woman has to remain pure. Not for her own sake but for the sake of men. Whenever women put themselves first, they’re bullied into silence. They aren’t supposed to act like men. They’re supposed to be proper, beacons of purity and grace.

Well, who fucking made that rule?

Why can’t men be the beacons of purity? Why do they get to slut around and get away with it?

Why are you the spawn of Satan for even looking at a guy while there are boys at your university who have actually slept with over 100 women.

“People suck,” is all you can say back. You’re just one person. There’s no way you can change the way society has been structured for years on end, right? A twinge of despair sits heavily in your chest as you’re consistently met with the reality of your situation.

“They do. And you know what?”Slowly, you look back up into Jeongguk’s sparkly bright eyes. He’s got the beginnings of a smile on his lips and you swear your stomach rushes with butterflies. “It’s their loss. Because they are missing out on getting to know a beautiful, kind, smart, accomplished and hardworking woman.”

You soften immediately. Sure, you’ve been called beautiful before but never the others. After being sexualized for years on end, no one else ever saw your worth beyond that so you had to tell yourself. Sometimes it worked, sometimes your insecurities got the best of you. But you know that you’re hardworking and smart and kind.

It’s different coming from Jeongguk.

He’s saying it for you, not to benefit himself later on. It’s real, not a blanket statement. There’s no promise that you’ll blow him and he won’t go around telling people that you did because he isn’t like that.

He’s a man who genuinely likes you for you. Not your body or your reputation.

Your legs uncurl and you’re inching closer to him. It’s an automatic response. You don’t even think to try to hold it back because you don’t want to and you shouldn’t have to. It’s safe in your apartment and no one will call you anything here. You get on your knees and swing one leg over his lap once more, inviting the soft scent of him as your face buries in the crook of his neck, arms wound around his shoulders.

Jeongguk is warm and his hands are back on your hips innocently. The touch isn’t sexual at all and it’s just what you needed.

Jeongguk’s chin rests on your shoulder as he starts speaking once more. “And you know what? Someone got caught fucking in the teachers lounge two days ago and it’s all everyone is talking about. No one has mentioned this story at all so don’t worry about it. I’m the least affected by this. I want to know if you’ll be okay.”

You smile against his skin, hopes he can feel you do that.

“I will.”

This rumor will pass, someday, certainly. But then, you refuse to be photographed with a man in any sort of context. All hookups will have to leave at 3am or something.

Speaking of….

“You wanna stay the night?” You pull your head out, fingers twisting with the strands at the back of his head. “It’s getting late and I don’t want you to take the subway right now.” You live in a safe area but still. And you want him around but only if he’s interested. “I could call you a cab too, if you want?”

“No, I’ll stay. I just don’t have any sleepwear.” He looks down at his cargo pants with a slight pout. God, he’s adorable.

“I have sweatpants,” you offer. Or Jeongguk could also sleep in his boxers.

Unlike some people, you can control yourself.

“There’s a high chance they won’t fit.”

Right. Boy has huge thighs. Muscular and toned. You can feel them underneath your legs and the brief thought of riding them until you cum all over him passes through your mind like a cheetah. Now is simply not the time to be horny.

Seriously, your cycle of terror finished two days ago. You have to relax. You just said you could control yourself.

Still, you let one of your hands slither down from where they were hanging behind Jeongguk’s neck to the planes of his chest, stopping right where his beating heart should be. It thumps soundly beneath your fingertips while allowing you to feel up the firm peaks of his chest that you so desperately want to squeeze like anything.

“Speaking from experience?” You smirk.

Jeongguk’s face dulls, pinching your side in retaliation. You yelp. “Look when you live with two sisters, laundry gets mixed up and I’ve had a lot of sweatpants barely go up my legs until I started running my clothes alone.”

Giggling, you flick under his chin.

Although, the thought of him doing his own laundry is also hot and–holy fuck, bro, get it together.

You tap his chest once. “Fine, I’ll get you a pair.” You sigh, waiting for Jeongguk’s hold on your waist to loosen so you can get up, which he allows you to do.

Except, sitting on your knees for so long left them sore and lacking in blood flow so by the time Jeongguk also gets up, your legs almost give out, resulting in you collapsing against his chest for balance and your hands landing right on his chest.

“Sorry,” you exhale with some laughter. Jeongguk’s hands first curl around your elbows, warm and comforting, and then down to your hips. “Gimme a sec. I literally can’t feel my legs so I’ll have to hold onto you for a–ah!”

Jeongguk uses the hold he has on you to lift you up, twine your legs around his waist with a little bounce in his movement. Your hands clutch at his body when you feel your feet lift off the ground, fear subsiding when he looks up at you with glimmering eyes.

Staring back, it’s obvious why women like him, why Juri was so upset when he rejected her. Jeongguk is so attractive it’s insane. From every angle, he manages to look perfect. Like an angel.

“I like it better this way,” he grins.

Doesn’t help that he’s sweet like candy on the inside too.

The blush on your cheeks must make you look like a tomato but you don’t care. The way Jeongguk looks at you, holds you, has your entire body covered in goosebumps. Fluttering inside your tummy, screaming at you to pin him down against that mattress and show him all of the things that you like too.

But all you do is playfully roll your eyes. “You nearly gave me a heart attack,” you pretend to scold.

“You like it.”

Fuck, he’s smirking and he’s right. You did like it. There’s something to be said about being manhandled and tossed around like some ragdoll. You’ve always been the submissive one in sex so the thought of Jeongguk bending your body to his will calls for a rush of arousal.

That coupled with the cocky look on his face. It’s fucking Niagara Falls down there.

“Just move, Jeon. Unless you want to sleep in the pants you’re already wearing.”

Jeongguk moves a hand up to salute you, still keeping a strong grip on the back of your thighs. You bite back a gasp when he subconsciously squeezes the mass to make sure his hold doesn’t falter.

You’re already throbbing. Both from the act of strength and the confidence wavering off him. When Jeongguk first touched you, he was so hesitant but now he’s reached a point where he can hold you without fear that he’s crossing a boundary. Thanks to the conversation you had at the beginning of the week and you’re glad about it. He’s one of the only guys you genuinely trust.

And currently, he’s the only guy you want to pin you down on your bed

Directing him to the chest of clothes, Jeongguk walks the two of you forward. Then sets you down in front of it. You could’ve easily gotten up but, you know, why do that?

With a still fuzzy brain, shaking fingers curl around the drawer’s metal handle. You pull open the first drawer of your dresser without much thought. Jeongguk is hovering behind you with curious eyes, allowing you to get drunk on the scent of him and the warmth of his body.

But being on cloud nine makes you forget that the drawer you opened just so happens to be your lingerie drawer.

And you pause. Like a dog getting caught doing something they weren’t supposed to be doing.

The contents are neatly packed. Lacy and skimpy, in multiple colors. No one should own this much lingerie but you love it. The confidence a nice set gives you and the way some react make spending all of that money online worth it. You feel powerful and you’ve had some great fucks in some of these sets.

However, this is not how you planned on showing Jeongguk your collection.

Yeah, let’s add this to the list of porno plots that you thought happened to no one but happened to you because you are experiencing bouts of embarrassment and bad luck at the moment. You might as well change your name and move to Switzerland to herd sheep now.

Jeongguk pauses behind you too. The hands that were on your hips, steading you for no reason, feel slightly detached.

Causing you to panic.

The drawer slams shut. “S-sorry! Wrong one.” You go to the 2nd one and pull out a large gray pair, pushing it into Jeongguk’s chest without another word.

Oh my god. Ohmygodohmygodhohmygod.

You should’ve actually thought this through! Instead of letting the lightness from Jeongguk picking you up dictate your every move like an idiot. Now what will he think?

Sidestepping him, you don’t even want to imagine what could be going on in Jeongguk’s head. A desperate ploy to sleep with him after complaining about the way men treat you? Trying to gain his sympathy just to get him in bed? Sounds hypocritical, right?

You should go. You should check on the dishes or make some tea or–

“Noona,” Jeongguk stops you with a soft hand on your wrist. “It’s okay,” his voice is firm and sure, causing you to slowly turn your neck to face him.

His lips are set neutral, a little pouty like always. But his expression seems to be calm.

“You don’t have to apologize or anything.” You watch his Adam’s apple bob when he swallows. “Honestly, it was…” he trails off, the redness becoming more obvious on his cheeks and ears.

Oh.

Any rigidness in your body begins to melt and you feel that previous fluttering in your belly return, pushing you to take a step closer. “Did you like them?” You ask, boldly.

Gone is the fear that you’ve pushed him away, reaffirmed your reputation or behaved like the very assholes who gave it to you because he doesn’t believe in that. He likes you and trusts you and you have no reason to panic when things like this happen. Jeongguk won’t call you a slut.

He cuts contact, looks to the side, and you see the briefest nodding on his head. Your smile grows tenfold. How cute.

“Oh, I see.” Abandoning any plans of running from him, palms flat on the firmness of his chest that you so desperately want to sink your teeth into. The light hitting the top of his head illuminates his skin, making him all golden, and you don’t think you can handle your wetness any longer. Jeongguk is just that good looking. “Do you wanna pick one out?”

His eyes flash up to you. “What?”

“Pick one for me to wear.”

Jeongguk’s boy brain seems to put the pieces together slowly, realizing what you want to happen, what you’re greenlighting that he’s been thinking about for a few days now.

You take initiative by going back to your dresser, tugging Jeongguk along, and opening the drawer all over again. Now Jeongguk can actually look at it instead of relying on the five second glimpse he got before. Sees all of the lace and mesh cut outs, sees the box of condoms in the corner, some lube. Thankfully, you’ve hidden any sex toys so you won’t have to deal with that.

While him finding lingerie was pretty tame in retrospect, Jeongguk finding that 7 inch vibrator you’ve got would be the end of you.

None of your baby dolls are in here but you don’t think those are Jeongguk’s style. Too much frill and fabric, meant for guys who really desire stereotypical femininity in the girls they fuck and want a little show when fucking. Jeongguk seems a little more straightforward. Likes easy access while still being sexy. So all of your teddys, which are essentially bodysuits or swimsuits made mostly of lace, are in this drawer. His eyes travel all throughout, ignoring the pinks and teals and reds for black and white.

Inching closer, Jeongguk seems to be deciding on two in particular. Then gently pulls one out by the strap.

“I like this.”

Your jaw slackens slightly. It’s crotchless, first of all, and it’s completely see through. Even the cups reveal your nipples without much fabric covering it. There’s a single strip of fabric going down your sternum and there are two identical lace detailing on your sides, completely free where your mons would be. Open right at your entrance.

Jeongguk picked a much more revealing one. You wonder what on earth he has planned for you but you nod regardless, taking the article of clothing from him and brushing some hair out of his face.

“Get changed and then wait on the bed for me.” Kissing him briefly on the nose.

Thankfully, you took an everything shower yesterday. Not that you really care about hair and men who do are weird but this will be your second time hooking up with Jeongguk so you still want to look a certain way for him, just until you talk about preferences some more.

Jeongguk speed walks to your bathroom, has you giggling at the way he urgently shuts the door. Snowball’s head perks up from her bed and you carefully move her to a different bed in a farther corner so she doesn’t have to bear witness to whatever will happen. She isn’t happy about it, makes an irritated low noise when you hold her but it’s for her own good.

After patting her a few times to get comfortable in her new bed, Jeongguk emerges with your pants in his hands.

“They didn’t fit.”

Not that you’re complaining.

“Shame, guess your boxers will have to do.” You feign annoyance but the slight bulge in the fabric tells you the opposite.

Jeongguk’s expression is difficult to judge. He follows your body as you saunter to the bathroom, eyes burning a hole in your back. You purposefully sashay a little, making sure your ass is shown off, that your hair swishes around. You’re dripping in confidence and you didn’t expect yourself to be like this considering the beginning of your run-in with Jeongguk.

But, he helps bring you back down from that poor state of mind where you let everyone’s words get to you by reminding you just how amazing you are. Confidence is something you always had but it gets buried and Jeongguk just brought it back up.

At some point, you hope to grow strong enough to never allow stuff like what happened this week to bother you. Even better, that the rumor becomes squashed and you’re no longer rebound girl.

But that’ll take time and, right now, you’re willing to wait.

Stripping down, you get ready. Slipping on the lingerie, messing your hair up a bit, adding a touch of lip gloss, and humming Positions by Ariana Grande to get you in the zone.

Jeongguk should want to devour you. You should want to devour him.

The door creaks open slowly and your body is halfway out when you speak up. “Close your eyes, Jeongguk!”

Some rustling is audible. “Huh? Okay!” He calls back in his trademark polite gentle tone. A smile grows on your face right afterwards.

You got this.

The door behind you shuts, slightly colder air causing you to be covered in goosebumps but it doesn’t matter. You’ll be warmed up soon. Turning the corner, Jeongguk is seated on the edge of your bed with his legs spread wide (hot), propped up with his hands on the bed on either side of his hips.

And he’s done you the favor of already taking his shirt off, folded neatly at the foot of your bed. So Jeongguk is just in his boxers. How nice of him.

A scoff leaves your lips, too quiet for him to pick up, but your footsteps are loud and clear. Jeongguk moves his hands a little and he doesn’t flinch when you sink down onto his warm lap, arms around his neck like they belong.

“Can I open my eyes now?” Jeongguk hasn't touched you just yet. Honestly, he seems like he’d make the perfect sub with how good he is and how well he listens but you’ve never delved into that.

You have no idea if you’d totally enjoy it unless it was a teasing back and forth and Jeongguk got the chance to put you in your place too. Get you whining and crying into your sheets until–

Okay, fuck. You’re already soaking wet and bare. You don’t need the scenarios and you haven’t even responded to him.

Leaning close to his perfect face, you smack a quick kiss on his cheek, right below that scar of his. “Not yet, baby.” You purr, mapping a line down his neck with your lips. Jeongguk has such a nice neck and hickeys look so good on him. The urge to mark him up completely overtakes all rationality (not that you had much to begin with).

Kissing down to the middle of his neck slowly, your lips suction around his pulse point, digging your teeth in, and you feel Jeongguk stir beneath you. His hips raise slightly, desperate for some kind of friction that you refuse to give. All you can smell is his sweet perfume and feel his soft skin.

Jeongguk whimpers your name and you can feel your pussy throbbing, surprised that you’re not leaking all over his bare thigh.

“Fuck,” he groans, thrusting up. Jeongguk’s boxers are so thin so you can feel the defined bulge pressing into your bare mound and you almost falter from how thick and big it feels.

It’s been a few weeks since you’ve had a dick inside you and you are really craving it. Sure, you have toys that could easily help but Jeongguk is bigger than your biggest one. Suddenly, that 7 inch vibrator simply won’t cut it.

Clenching around nothing, you pull away from his neck. “You can open your eyes now,” exhaling heavily.

Jeongguk follows. Your eyes connect and it’s electric. Sizzling tension, blood pumping deep in your veins, breaths mingling. Two seconds go, passing atypically slowly, and then he moves.

Jeongguk makes the first move connecting your lips, taking you by surprise, but you kiss him back and try to match his vigor. He kisses you with passion and wanton, controlling you like he might never get another chance to taste you. Gets your heart thumping loudly in your chest.

Especially when his fingers curl around your ass, squeezing roughly to earn a gasp of rapture, and his tongue sneaks in and runs deep along yours.

Questioning if he was totally a sub? Yeah, you don’t know about that.

Getting strong switch vibes from him.

Jeongguk gets up from the bed after wrapping your legs around his waist, turning around and laying you down on the bed. Your lips break apart for a split second but Jeongguk changes the moment your back touches the mattress, as if he can’t live without your kisses. You moan at his eagerness, realizing he has yet to look at your full set yet and is going crazy over just kissing you.

Fingers wind in his soft silky hair, tongues mingling in your mouth. It’s wet and messy and vulgar, teeth clacking, but you don’t have it in you to care.

He breaks the kiss again to kiss the corner of your lips, your cheek and then your jaw before pulling away and finally looks down while hovering over you.

Watching Jeongguk’s expression change is like high art.

You swear his eyes get darker, a vein on his neck bulges. “Jesus,” he grits. One hand begins at your sternum and slithers down where your breasts threaten to spill out of the flimsy thing. Jeongguk’s thumb traces over your pert nipple, causing you to twitch at the brief stimulation. “You look so fucking hot.”

“Yeah?”

Jeongguk nods, sitting up a little so he’s kneeling between your spread legs. “Like a goddess.” His eyes take you in, eating up every inch of skin he can see. “A beautiful, sexy, amazing goddess.”

You smirk, bending your leg some more to expose more of yourself to him. His gaze dips down to your bare cunt, wet and swollen for him and you swear you see his jaw set.

“You’re talking like you wanna worship me,” you joke cornily. Honestly, you’re too taken aback by the way Jeongguk is looking at you to cringe but thankfully he doesn’t say anything against it.

“I think I do.” Is his response.

Barely processing it, Jeongguk lifts you up by your calves, resting them on his shoulders and leaning down. Your stomach flips, you gasp, trembling slightly as Jeongguk begins to leave hickeys on the soft flesh of your inner thigh along with occasional bite marks.

Is he going to do what you think he is? Does he even know how? It’s been ages since someone went down on you. Most men simply don’t know how or care to learn.

You think Jeongguk is the opposite. He isn’t pleasuring you for himself but because he wants you to feel good so if you don’t like something, he’ll fix it.

But still, eating girls out is apparently something only girls can do properly. Nayeon is a firm believer in that.

Your head tilts back with each teasing mark making you wetter and wetter. He’s certainly building up the anticipation correctly so you’ll give him a point for that. Soon you’re throbbing so bad from how sexy Jeongguk looks with his dark hair between your thighs and kiss-bruised lips that you almost beg for his mouth on you.

“Pretty,” Jeongguk growls, reaching closer to your dripping core. “Prettiest pussy I’ve ever seen.” The muscles in his back flex and you can feel them against your calves. “Can I?”

You don’t even hesitate. He’s inches away from you and you don’t think you can go another second without his touch. “Please Guk.”

He doesn’t waste another second leaning down and licking a fat stripe up your core, making your legs twitch around his head. His tongue is flat and wide starting from your entrance all the way to your clit, tasting you once and groaning immediately after.

“Shit,” you wince. Fingers getting stuck in Jeongguk’s hair. “Jeongguk.”

Embarrassingly, you almost grind on his face but Jeongguk keeps a tight hold on your hips as his mouth closes around your clit, sucking the bud a few times like he’s making out with you which has you groaning out. His nose bumps into your outer lips and you imagine that it would feel like heaven to grind back onto the bulbous tip while sitting on his face. Big noses are so hot for that reason in particular.

Jeongguk pulls back, gets up on his elbows a little to drop a fat blob of spit onto your pussy, watching it mix with your juices as you clench again. This time he notices your neediness and he chuckles darkly.

“Cute,” lips closing around your clit as he looks up at you. “Want my fingers in you badly, huh?”

“Yes.”

Jeongguk’s lips pull off with a loud pop. “How bad?” Digits tracing your soppy opening. At first you can’t formulate a response when he’s everywhere but the places you need him. So he removes all contact. “How bad do you need my fingers in this needy little pussy?”

Definitely not a sub. Definitely not a fucking sub–wow, okay.

“Badly,” grinding up into nothing, hips getting shoved back down. “I–I need you to fill me up. Please. I think about it so much. Your fingers feel so fucking good, Jeongguk. Made me cum so hard.”

You don’t lie. He’s got long fingers and is definitely the biggest you’ve had, easily reaching spots others have left dormant. You’re glad to fluff his ego on that considering how mind blowing that first orgasm was.

“I could tell,” he mutters slowly. “You came so fast,” lips closing around your clit again as you whine out. Jeongguk continues speaking. “Like a good girl”

You can’t even respond to that, can’t even begin to fathom what praise from him does to you or how you must be gushing all over your sheets right now. Jeongguk’s middle finger inches in while his tongue and mouth focus directly on your swollen clit and you lose all ability to formulate a proper sentence.

Flicking the sensitive bud back and forth at an animalistic pace while his finger slowly pushes in and out of you is where you fucking lose it. Head thrown back, thighs trembling, moaning out garbled versions of his name and breathy swears.

This is it. Better than anything else you’ve had. This combination floods you with pleasure coiling in the pit of your stomach and your muscles going rigid.

“Fuck yes–yes, just like that,” you whimper some more, using your grip on Jeongguk’s hair to tug him in further. Big mistake. “Don’t stop—don’t fucking–no, no! Why did you–”

Your leg falls off Jeongguk’s shoulder and flops onto the bed. His nose and lips are shiny but his expression is hard. “Sit up.” He orders. Jaw set and clenched.

Part of you really wants to disobey, be brat because that always results in a good time, but you need to come and you need his touch back on you as soon as possible. Meekly, your legs curl in and you slowly sit up, getting on your knees and pouting at him.

Jeongguk takes the spot you were just laying down on, head meeting your pillow with a slight bounce. He motions for you to come closer then: “Face away from me.”

Oh.

Even better.

“Gonna have this perfect pussy right in front of me while you suck me off, okay?”

Swinging your leg over, you nod desperately, arching your back a little and leaning down. You’re interrupted with a light smack on your ass, causing you to moan out way too loudly. It almost sounds like a cry of pain but it’s far from that.

Jeongguk drops the act quickly. Gently reaching for you with soft hands on your hips. “Noona, are you ok–”

“I’m fine,” you gasp. “Do it again.” You push your ass out some more, bent over his body, staring back at him with tears of desire. “Please Jeongguk.”

He’s hesitant when he sits back down. You know he doesn’t want to hurt you but the way that the pain sizzled into pleasure coupled with how badly you want his hand print on you is far from hurt. It’s fucking warranted at this point.

Jeongguk spanks you once more, on the same cheek, and you flop down all limp on top of him. His teeth sink into the flesh of your thigh, spanking the other cheek much harder than before.

Arousal drips out of you and tracks down your skin. You feel needy and pathetic but in the best way possible.

“I fucking love your ass so much,” nails dig into the already sore flesh as he praises you lowly. Jeongguk’s arms curl around your back, tugging you close to him as he continues what he was doing to you. Tongue flicking your clit at an insane pace.

You can’t handle it. Even though his hard cock is inches away from you, you need a second to control yourself as the tingling sensation begins from your toes and starts creeping up.

Someone must’ve told him this or maybe he’s watched a ton of porn. Guys never eat you out like this. They move their tongue around and moan, thinking it’s enough, and get annoyed when you haven’t come. Some blame it on you and say that you’re the problem when it’s the complete opposite.

But Jeongguk breaches your entrance with two fingers in tandem with your tongue. Those long digits immediately find that g-spot and it’s fucking over, it’s done. You’re already there. You’re so wet and it’s echoing in your small studio apartment for the both of you to hear. The pleasure building up is rapid and way too fast.

After no action for days, you’re easy. The coil in your stomach gets tighter and tighter as Jeongguk’s fingers pound out of you and his tongue continues to play with that swollen bundle of nerves.

“C-close, I’m close–I’m gonna–” you feel it, the ball unravels and your legs go out. “I’m cumming!”

Faster than you’d like to admit. You start shaking, tears streaming down your face. Trying to muffle your noises on his thigh so you don’t get a fucking noise complaint.

“Good girl. So fucking pretty when you come like that,” his fingers slow down but they don’t pull out just yet. After such a hard orgasm, you would usually need a break but the slow pace just gets you needier. “Can you take another one, gorgeous?” Jeongguk asks.

Last time he touched you, you couldn't but now you want a second go. Besides, you want to return the favor too.

“Yeah, I can.”

With a slow pace and his mouth pressing timid little kisses on your wet thighs, Jeongguk leans back when you pull his boxers down and his length stands in front of you. Leaking and hard and so fucking big.

Now that you’ve come once, you lose all inhibition. You press a kiss to the wet tip, rounding up saliva in your mouth to lick up all of the cloudy salty precum before sinking down and taking in just the tip. He’s thick so your jaw has to stretch a bit but you definitely don’t mind that.

“Fuck,” Jeongguk whispers, licking another stripe to clean you up, gets you jolting and him laughing.

He’s so atypically cocky, something you’ve never found attractive until now. It’s warranted cockiness. Ate you out like a fucking champ and has a dick big enough to make you question whether or not you can take it all. Yeah, Jeongguk can have a bit of an ego.

But only a bit.

You fold your thumb into your clenched fist and squeeze lightly to stop your gag reflex for a bit. Allowing you to take almost all of his length into your mouth. Jeongguk’s hips raise a bit to help you so it doesn’t pierce through the back of your throat completely but just until your nose meets the base of his length.

“Mmh,” he moans, feeling his chest heave against your body. Jeongguk mumbles some more praise, calls you the most prettiest girl, leans forward to get his mouth back on you, and the dance begins again.

Gently, Jeongguk fucks your mouth while you grind back into his. The pace isn’t fast and hectic like before nor is it any bit graceful but neither of you seem to care.

Each thrust is awarded with a burst of precum and your thighs shake with every hit against your sensitive spot. The air gets hot and sticky, filled with the scent of sex and adrenaline. The sounds of your wet mouth and wet pussy along with Jeongguk’s whiny noises are noises you could hear for the rest of your life and never get bored of.

This is all you want. Him and his hands and his mouth and just him.

This sweet boy who held you so close and listened and makes you cum better than anyone else had.

Even after the second time, as your arousal drenches his fingers so much they prune as you release and he shoots his load down your throat, it hits you like a punch in the face just how much Jeongguk has ruined you.

Because after this, no other man will compare.

#jungkook x reader #nerdjungkook #jungkook fanfic #jungkook smut #gamerjungkook #bts fanfiction #thereboundgirl #bts smut #bts x reader #smut series

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periracha · 4 months

Text

Waiting

☾ pairing: Dad!Chan x Mom!Reader ☾ wc: 2k ☾ genre: fluff, boring domesticity (gasp) ☾ cw: Christmas themes, kids, suggestive jokes, me trying to be funny idk, language, chan being chan ☾ summary: the bangs get in the holiday spirit! ☾ a/n: wanted to get a whole aesthetic and masterlist up for this blog before i posted anything but this little idea had my brain in a chokehold all day so,,,,enjoy ! also, let me know if I should continue writing this family so i can give them names, etc. yes this piece is fluff but this blog is 18+, MDNI

Ripples start to splash against the inside of your mug as you set it down on the coffee table that has been pushed aside for the evening to allow enough room for you and your husband.

“Clearing the living room floor the second both kids are down and out?” Chan asks with a wiggle of his eyebrow.

“Bit risky but I can work with this” he says while straining his neck and pulling his left arm across his chest in a stretch in preparation.

You look up at him when a scoff falls from your lips, “ha yeah you wish. Now get the wrapping paper from the closet”

“Please” you add with a sarcastic smile and sweet like honey tone.

He blinked at you silently for a split second before he huffed out a big sigh, “Oh thank god. I don’t think my back could handle these hardwood floors like it used to” he finishes as he makes his way to the hallway closet.

“Mmm unfortunately the only action these floors have been getting lately is spilled juice and probably some dusty cheetos the kids kicked under the couch” you joke as Chan meets you on the floor with wrapping supplies and gifts.

A quiet laugh in agreement leaves his lips.

“She’s gonna love this” Chan says with a grin so wide it meets his eyes.

He’s holding up a Bluey plushie that plays a few catchphrases from the show when its paw is squeezed.

“She better…. I’m running out of reasons why she can’t buy it every time we go to the store” you say as you cut wrapping paper big enough to wrap the doll and hand it to him.

Your daughter had wanted this little plushie for months now, always asking to stop by the toy section whenever you visit your local department store. You quickly learned that simply telling her the store didn’t have anymore wasn’t gonna fly with her. She always found a way to swindle you into the toy aisles, finding the plushie every time. Distracting her with books or other small toys could only get you so far; luckily Christmas was only a few days away and you both would soon see the joy on her face when she opened her gift.

“How do you even wrap these things??” Chan huffed out with a bewildered look on his face; his brows drawn tight and his eyes wide open. The piece of wrapping paper you had given him was creased all over, and covered in way too many pieces of tape that didn’t actually do anything to keep the paper together.

A giggle started in your chest but you choked it down with a fake cough. Chan was used to being good at almost anything he put his mind to.

Dancing? Easy.

Singing? No Problem.

Writing thousands of unique songs that differed in their own ways? Piece of cake.

Sports? Absolutely.

Wrapping a small gift for his three year old daughter? Not so much.

Carefully, you took the small doll from his hand and replaced it with a box of bath toys for your son.

“Here, let me handle this…and you wrap these” you said nonchalantly as soon as you made the switch; immediately working on your new task at hand.

Chan gawked at you with a goofy smile on his face, “You don’t think I can do it?...you’re demoting me to only wrapping boxes?” he laughed while feigning offense.

“No no no!”, you waved off, “you’re just soooo good! Better than me! The best actually!” you rushed out while trying to contain your laughter but ultimately failing.

Chan looked at you with pointed eyes, but had a wide smile plastered on his face the entire time. He looked like he was going to say something in retaliation but decided against it, letting out a small chuckle and shaking his head instead while he got to work on the box.

Many presents later you were both feeling the ache deep in your lower back from hunching over on the floor.

“Okay that's enough for me, I’m tapping out,” Chan said stretching his back with a yawn.

You yawned and simply shook your head up and down in agreement, thinking about how you were too tired to even keep your eyes open.

You got up and gathered all your wrapping supplies to store away.

“Oh! Can you take all those and put them under the tree?” you asked him while pointing to the group of gifts.

He hummed a quick mhm and started gathering them in his arms.

“Make sure to put Bluey on top of the one of the taller presents so they can’t get to it” you called out as you made your way to your room.

“Yep, got it” Chan quickly responded before placing all the presents down and making his way to follow you to your bedroom.

The next day went blissfully as usual; waking up way too early to cries before the sun is even fully out, only to finally get your son back down and you barely back in bed before your daughter barges in demanding French toast stat.

Did you even have all the ingredients for french toast?

You already got one kid handled, Chan could handle this one.

You lightly kicked him in the leg as he laid beside you to wake him up before you made yourself comfortable to fall back asleep.

When you did wake up, you grabbed your son and met your husband and daughter in the living room, setting him down to crawl around the rug.

“Good morning love”, Chan greeted you with a kiss to your cheek and sliding his arms around your waist in a loose hug.

You hummed a good morning back before resting your head against his chest.

“My turn! My turn!” your daughter yelled entirely too close to your eardrum as she stood on the couch in an attempt to be as eye level as she could with you.

“Coffee?” Chan asked with a smirk as he let you go and made his way to the kitchen.

“Ohhh yeah” you answered before turning your attention fully on your daughter.

She puckered her lips and stood on her tiptoes in an attempt to copy her dad’s previous actions. You bent down and she kissed your cheek, “Good morning, mommy!”, she giggled before flopping down on the couch.

“Oh it is a good morning!” you smiled back to her before tickling her to get some hugs in.

Chan met you back in the living room with your fresh cup of coffee as you both sat on the couch, watching your children play together in the early morning hours.

Your son crawled towards the christmas tree and before you could get up to grab him he had already bumped into a few presents, causing one of them to go off.

“Hello! Hehehe”

The noise immediately caught your daughter's attention and her head snapped towards the tree before her eyes widened. You could see the wheels starting to turn in her head to try and make sense of what just happened when you looked over at Chan who was sporting a mortified look. Jaw hung open and downward, eyes widening and moving around the room at everyone’s faces.

The damn Bluey doll had gone off and one of her most wanted presents was most likely spoiled now.

“WHAT WAS THAT?” she rushed out, walking closer to the tree.

“Your brother!” Chan blurted out way too quickly before tightening his lip into a flat line, realizing what he just did.

Your daughter stopped dead in her tracks and looked at the both of you.

“What???” she asked again, her eyes darting between yours and Chan’s a few times.

“He can talk??, “ she screamed, bewildered at the new information being thrown at her all too quickly, pointing at him and eyes wide as saucers.

You let out a huff of air and forced yourself to take a sip of your coffee, hoping to buy you some time, waiting for your brain to kick on. It was too early for this.

Chan looked at you waiting for you to come in and save the conversation but you had nothing. How were you supposed to convince a 3 year old that her 8 month old brother could now speak when he’s never done that before.

You’re on your own here. You thought to yourself as your eyes met Chan’s again. His face still stuck in the same shocked expression.

“Uhh…yeah..yeah…?” Chan tried to get out nonchalantly but it ended up coming out more like a question and high pitched tone, before clearing his throat.

Your son had now crawled toward your daughter and started grabbing at her legs to get her attention.

You needed a moment to think but your daughter would absolutely follow you wherever you went to…. Unless…?

You coughed into your arm dramatically, “ooooh mommy needs medicine, I will be right back” you said before quickly standing up and making your way to the hallway cabinets before she could stop you.

Even the possibility of being around cough medicine, seeing it with her own eyes, was enough to keep your daughter from following you. She was not about to risk having to take that, yucky grape stuff, as she likes to call it.

Chan followed after you, staying in the open area to keep an eye on the two kids.

“So our 8 month old is saying full words now is he?” you asked, raising your eyebrows when he got closer to you.

“I panicked okay!”, he screamed in a hushed tone.

“So you blame it on the baby?!” you asked in disbelief, a laugh starting in the bottom of your throat. You tightened your lips in an effort to stop the smile you knew was coming.

“What else was I supposed to say it came from?” Chan asked with a strained laugh, “you were no help!” he accused, pointing his finger and narrowing his gaze.

“I don’t know Chan! The TV? Your phone?” you huffed out off the top of your head and throwing your hands in the air.

“Hm. yeah that would’ve been good”, he said staring at the floor, realizing just how easy those would’ve been to explain away to a child.

He stepped back from you to get a better look at your kids a few steps away. His brow furrowed so you stepped forward to see what he was looking at.

Your daughter was sitting directly across from your son with a serious expression on her face, no more playing going on in sight.

“What..what are you guys doing?” Chan asked loud enough for your kids to hear.

Your daughter looked back at him, “Waiting,” she said matter of factly before refocusing her attention back on her brother.

“Waiting foorrr?” Chan asked, raising his eyebrows as you both took a step toward them.

“Him to talk again” she answered without bothering to even look at Chan this time, her serious gaze never leaving her brother's face. He was babbling and drooling while playing with the legs of her pajama pants.

You both couldn’t contain the laughs that came from your mouths. Today was going to be a long day.

You couldn’t wipe the smile from your face as you thought about your family’s antics. Never a boring day in the Bang household, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Hey Chan, what did you do with the matching talking Bingo we wrapped last night?”

“Shit”

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killerpillar · 3 months

Note

any book recs? looking for something to hold me over inbetween your updates! anything you’ve found yourself pulling inspo from for your fic or that you think a fellow levi fan would love?

hi!!! ofc, i've got plently of fic recs, i'm pretty sure i've read 80% of all levi fics on ao3 atp😭 I sadly have not had the time to read as many fics nowadays like I used to, but here are some of my all time favs!!

(also i apologise, my summary skills are terrible and so it's just me gushing over the fics for a whole paragraph🧎‍♀️)

Death's Door by SongsOfApollo

one of the first fics I read, and a fic that has literally never left my brain since then. It's amazing. It's very popular so I'm sure you've heard about it already if not read it, but if you haven't, it's a must read!! levi x doctor reader!

Dust, Diamonds by maokitty

the best way i can describe this fic is that it drove an iron stake through my heart multiple times, pulled it out, then delicately rearranged the pieces and stitched it back together with gentle fingers. take it how you will but after a certain chapter i stopped reading it bc it was too painful, and then came back two months later to finish it off AND I AM SO GLAD I DID.

A River Of Three Crossings by maokitty

this fic literally ruined my life it was so fucking good but its incomplete and hasn't been updated since 2020 i am SO SAD. but please read this, it's so good, so heart crushing and sweet and amazing I love it sm

ALSO I JUST FUCKING REALISED ITS THE SAME AUTHOUR WHILE WRITING THIS LIST😭

reciprocal sin by captain-hawks (@captain-hawks)

SO UNDERRATED!??! must read, i cannot say anything else but READ THISSS. its a kinky smutty oneshot so make sure you read the content warnings, but its sooo good😭 amazing writing too!

silver soul by oi_levi

sadly this one is incomplete and hasn't been updated since 2021, but it's brilliantttt. if you're craving some good post-war levi fics, then this one's really good!!

also read In the Land of Gods and Monsters by them for a fun time😊

a sip of sunshine by taomyou (@taomyou)

speaking of post-war fics, this one is amazinggg. super cute and fluffy, angsty ending for part 1 (😭) but I know for sure their next part will be worth the wait. also they've got a complete modern au fic called The Romance Of Reimbursements which is so fucking beautiful, definitely read this!!! (also mchs, acoc... yeah just read all of them tbh)

silver underground. by tothestrongones (@amywritesthings)

this one's a recent read, but omfg i cannottt get enough of it. absolutely love this, it's levi x underground reader, amnesia trope done right. 10/10 must read!!!

we all bleed red by littlerequiem (@littlerequiem)

also a recent read, but omfg this fic is so good. it's vampire au, victorian era, slowburn brilliant writing, and healthy communication!?!? no way. checks all the boxes for me😫

Percolate by heichoe

modern coffee shop au, its so good omfg. it's such a cute fic, classic grumpy levi, friends w benefits, lots of smut and the DRAMA gosh. i was so invested, it was so good. (also ur gonna need an account on ao3 to read the fic!!)

this is a story of the sea by shinzouing

this one is levi x erwin x reader (i read it for the levi x reader bc erwin was gonna die anyways lmao) but i fell in loveeee with it!! wonderful writing, amazing story, 10/10 angst & slowburn, a definite must read! (also 20/10 smut, it was so fucking good)

(also literally every fic by wellitcouldbeworse3 on ao3 is amazinggg, check them out if you haven't already. which i'm sure you have, and that is the only reason i haven't listed out all of their fics here😭 The Feeling's Mutual is my fav modern au fic of all time no questions asked)

THIS IS A JUST A FEW!!! if you want more, then feel free to ask, i will gladly rec more <33 and ty for reading my fic btw!! LOVE U LOADS🤗

#fic recs #asks #levi x reader #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan

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thebiggerbear · 6 months

Text

WIP Wednesday - Multi-Character x Reader - 11/15/23

Alright I'm kicking myself in the buttocks because it's taking me so long to complete this project along with updates for three other stories I have open as well before starting to post for my SB story and DW short story (this is how this story came about btw, got too long for the prompt, same with an upcoming Alec short story and Tom short story), but I have two multi-character prompt responses in the works (for the past month I want to say) that have been at the forefront of my brain. It's been a ton of fun, just time consuming, and RL is also kicking me in the behind as well (so I'm sorry, I promise I will update, I'm still working on everything I have listed along with things not listed yet). The following serves as a sampling if you will of what's contained in one or the other:

<-->

Soldier Boy:

Soldier Boy stared you down. “What’s it gonna be?”

You didn’t answer. Instead, you glanced behind you at a small noise far off down the street. Thankfully, it was an old woman tossing something out onto the pavement, but you couldn’t deny it put you further on edge. You turned back to the Supe whose eyes stayed trained on you. You took a deep breath to steady your nerves and readied your response. His lips began to quirk upwards into a smile; he knew what your answer was going to be before you even said the words.

Full work here

<-->

Beau Arlen:

He nodded and, after a moment, he reached out a hand.

You snorted in disbelief. “Really?”

Beau didn’t say anything, only moved his hand in a come hither motion, holding it out for you to take.

You let out an angry sigh and rolled your eyes, but moved forward to place your hand in his nonetheless. He pulled you to him, framed your face with his hands, and softly kissed you. You refused to kiss him back but ultimately, like always, you lost the battle and gave in, gently grasping one of his wrists as you did. “I’m sorry, baby,” he whispered to your lips.

Full work here

<-->

Dean Winchester:

You wrapped your arms around his neck and leaned down to kiss him. You felt him immediately begin to relax under your touch and only when his lips were completely pliant and moving with yours did you pull back, staring into his green eyes.

“Why couldn’t you just tell me that?”

He slid his hand up your back and to your hair, tenderly rubbing the strands between his fingers. “I don’t know. I just… That vamp had you in a hold and it scared the crap out of me when I couldn’t reach you fast enough. What if he had gotten more of a drop on you? What if—”

You gently placed your fingers against his lips, stopping him from finishing that question.

Full work here

<-->

Jenny Hoyt:

As expected, Jenny was pissed. Poppernak and the other deputies took their assignments and ran, eager to get away from the explosion that was about to happen. Nora even timidly told the blonde she’d see her over by her desk when she was ready before escaping as well. In the time all of this took, the blonde’s glare hadn’t lessened any.

You crossed your arms. “Something on your mind, Hoyt?”

She slowly approached you, leaning in slightly. “I’d like a word,” she growled out menacingly before passing you by.

Your jaw tightened but you spun around and followed her to your office. She held the door open for you and you slipped inside, already turning to face her head on. Beau had warned you that she’d be your toughest opposition when you agreed to take this job on; seeing her ice chips for eyes staring you down right now, Beau didn’t know the half of it.

Full work here

<-->

Tom Hanniger:

He pulled a knife out of his jacket which made your heart start to pound a little faster but he simply smiled as he also produced a plastic fork. He leaned down and began to cut your chicken into bite size pieces for you. “I, uh, I’ve never made chicken marsala before so I hope it’s alright,” he told you, a shy smile on his face. You marveled how he could go from being the scariest thing you’d seen in your life one minute to being the sweetest and most humble guy you’d ever met in the next. “And I know you’re not a fan of green beans but I didn’t really have anything else.” He rubbed at the back of his neck, chuckling nervously.

“I’m okay with green beans,” you quietly assured him.

He dropped his hand and smiled, leaning in to tenderly kiss you.

Full work here

<-->

Jason Teague:

“Gee, I don’t know,” you teased. “I’m supposed to be meeting this guy I’m seeing for a quick lunch before he has class in about an hour. And I need to swing by my house first, so that might be kind of cutting it close.”

Coach Teague furrowed his brows as he considered your words. “You’re right, that is kind of cutting it close. Any chance that this guy that you’re seeing is good-looking? You know, to make it worth the trouble?”

You pretended to think over it for a moment and then shrugged a shoulder. ”He’s…fairly handsome, I guess.”

His jaw dropped. “Fairly? Really? That’s—” Jason quickly glanced around as you snickered behind your hand. He saw that there were still a couple of students in the hallway. He quietly cleared his throat and Coach Teague was immediately back in place. “Well, be that as it may, I only need a moment of your time and then you’re free to go meet this guy who sounds way more good-looking than you’re giving him credit for.” He ignored your grin and gestured over your shoulder. You turned to see the door to his office. He opened it and held out a hand towards the office in open invitation. “After you, Miss Y/L/N.”

“Sure thing, Coach,” you quipped. You stepped inside, hearing him mutter under his breath, “fairly handsome” followed by a scoff as you passed right by him. You bit your lip to keep from laughing.

Full work here

<-->

There are a few other characters mixed into these two prompt responses but those aren't ready for sampling yet so to speak. (*hint*: they'll most likely be characters featured on the character portion of the masterlist ;) ) I'm going to try to get these up as soon as I can since I'm almost more than halfway done.

Please let me know what you guys think and which ones you're most looking forward to reading.

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gildedoak · 4 months

Text

When I was rewatching the 1989 Little Mermaid earlier this year, I watched the fire reach the kegs marked "Powder" and I went, "Oh hey look, it's a Fluffernutter!"

So I had to draw it. Skipped a few frames, but I enjoyed the practice!

The Mighty Nein have such bad luck with their ships. I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE MIGHTY NEIN ANIMATED SERIES - I TEAR UP EVERY TIME I SEE THE COMMERCIAL.

Image descriptions and a small rant below the cut!

[Image Description Start: a sketchy series of Mighty Nein (Xhorhas outfits from Level 10) storyboards mimicking Eric's ship crashing in the 1989 Little Mermaid.

PICTURE ONE: Panel 1: Beau and Caleb stand aboard a ship as the clouds beyond grow darker and a bolt of lightning streaks across the sky.

Panel 2: "STAND FAST! SECURE THE RIGGING!" Yasha yells from above.

Panel 3: Another bolt of lightning hits the mainmast, and the sails catch fire.

Panel 4: "JUMP NOTT! JUMP!" Caleb stands amid the pouring rain, holding his arms upward.

Panel 5: "YASHA - YASHA HELP!" "I got you! Hold on!" Nott flounders in the water next to the lifeboat, and Yasha scoops her up in one giant arm.

Panel 6: Caleb tugs at his leg, his foot stuck in a broken part of the deck. The fire is spreading around him, and the rain continues to pour in torrents.

Panel 7: "CALEB!" Caduceus, Jester and Nott look up from the lifeboat.

Panel 8: Caleb turns to look back, as the fire reaches the quarter deck.

Panel 9: Two kegs marked "Fluffernutter" in Jester's calligraphy and the Tusktooth logo start to catch fire.

Panel 10: The deck of the ship explodes.

Panel 11: Yasha, Beau, Caduceus, Jester and Nott gape in horror, the light of the explosion illuminating their faces.

Panel 12: In the water below, Fjord gasps.

PICTURE TWO: Uk'otoa the Sea Serpent rises up above the waves, his multiple eyes glowing in the darkness. "SO MUCH FOR TRUE LOVE!!"

End Image Description]

TRIGGER WARNING FOR A SHORT DISCUSSION OF HOSPITALIZATION AND SURGERY

Soooo the last half of this year was a freakin' STRUGGLE. I got into a car accident in August, which then triggered a hiatal hernia that led to me getting emergency stomach surgery. I swear it was one thing after another for WEEKS, and I was exhausted. Thankfully, I didn't have any loss of motor function, but I didn't do art for a solid three months. My creativity was at an all-time low, and I was focused on mastering walking around on crutches more than I was at holding a pencil.

Getting back into the swing of it was a little shaky, but it's improving! Hoping to do more art and posting it online. Expect more doodly sketches this coming year instead of finished pieces. But also, look for new designs coming to my RedBubble account!

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thesteriuswife · 5 months

Text

Today marks three years of Dianthus existing! I made my first concept sketches for her on 11/20/23 💖 this also means it's been three years of Diathesterius! I sometimes use the date I uploaded Dia to toyhouse, the 21st, as the anniversary date just in case I'm late... but I managed to finish colouring this <3 I had actually wanted to do something for this earlier in the month, I even made some very elaborate plans for it... but it ended up not happening! Which is okay 💞 but I still wanted to draw a little wedding piece... so I did! I'll make something fancier when I have more time later on... 💝 I used my own handwriting here for authenticity, but at some point... I'd like to be able to rewrite in Greek for More authenticity <3 Uncropped version (and long rambling post) under the cut 💕 I get a little Vulnerable so don't read it if you're gonna be mean or else I'll like Get You or something

I've made posts in the past talking about why Theseus and Asterius mean so much to me, but I don't think I've made one on why Dianthus herself means so much to me.. so for her own third year anniversary, I'll do that here! before I begin...! the fruit in dia's hair here are from the strawberry tree, arbutus unedo. I associate the tree and its fruit with Theseus but... it's honestly been so long, I don't remember exactly why! Just that, for some reason, I imagine thathis childhood home had a tree of these fruit blossoming just outside his mother's room, and thus he has fond memories of it. Lady Dianthus... she who loves all things pink, actively hates celery, and still has a job at the library despite being so fogetful and clumsy... she who met Theseus and immediately became obsessed because it was the first interesting thing to happen to her- not a parent or someone she's close to, but herself! her first time feeling as if she had a true purpose. She who didn't understand Theseus' obsession with Asterius until meeting he Minotaur, and promptly decided "he's not scary? he's not scary at all! he's just a cow!" I've made sona and the likes before Dia of course, but she was the first in a long time who was truly meant to resemble me in all ways (except for the setting, of course...). I made her design simple so I would easily be able to redraw her, and gave her one of my favourite palettes pink and green and cream and gold. At first I really didn't expect to get that attached to her... I went months without drawing her after her initial creation. but the more I drew her the more I realized how much fun I was having with her...! It's funny looking back on it... originally I had a much more comedic idea for her story, and di not intend to ship her with Theseus in any serious way. It was going to be a completely one-sided love (with Dianthus taking the role of "crazed fangirl" - which she still is, in a way). I'm sure it isn't a surprise but it didn't take me long at all to start drawing ship art of them, creating artworks and writing of Theseus and Asterius was a self indulgent joy for me, so why not selfship art too? I ended up invested, of course. Using Dia I put a lot of my own feelings into a story; a sense of otherness, her loneliness, feeling lost and out of place. I had removed it later on because I felt uneasy with how vulnerable it was, but at one put I had placed one of the most traumatic events of my life into Dia's story- sometimes I think about adding it back, because I know giving her an oppurtunity to open up about it with her beloveds would be something beneficial to Me irl(!). But that's besides the point here... she's a stubborn girl, sweet but arrogant is my usual go-to descriptor for her; that's how I think of myself too, just based on what I've been told (I have a hard time thinking of myself as nice, though others always say so to me...). That may be part of why I tend to look for those features in (fictional!) lovers... something feels good to me about being able to butt heads due to this shared traits, but still coming together and making amends despite it. I do think it's a little funny that the sonas I've gotten the most attached to so far- Dianthus, and now Nerine- have some sort of theme of death with them. Dianthus is literally a ghost, and Nerine is metaphorically one (and maybe liteally, if I ever make up my mind...). Maybe that's just fitting for me, though... hmm... I'm not sure what else I want to say here... I think of Dianthus as "Me but in Hades Game / Ancient Greek context." Of course some events that happen in her life didn't happen to me, or, sometimes, I dramatize it (Dia's mother leaving her and her father to become the wife of a god was inspired by the fact that for the first few yers of my life, my parents were separated... but they always had a positive relationship with one another! Unlike Dia's parents), but she's become a big par

t of me all the same. Just as I am happy and hoping to spend many more years with Theseus and Asterius, I hope to spend many more years with her as well. i think that's all I'll write for now <3 if you read this thank you for being curious enough about me to be interested in all this 😭

btw, here's the first ever post of her... (yes thats my priv </3 i briefly unlocked it to search for this... don't try and follow me over there though it's crazy over there)

#🖼️ manuscripts #🌺👑🐂 love in idleness #@ this site. let me post!!! let me post this!!!!!

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manjibunny · 4 months

Text

Pretty When You Cry

Synopsis: Everything seemed to go so well for you and your best friend, Chifuyu, until you discovered your feelings for him...

C/W: Angst, no comfort, friendship breakup, mentions of gang fights and wounds, mentions of death (no one dies tho), imagery from Greek mythology if you squint, messy as hell, reader is emotionally unavailable and doesn't know how to deal with their feelings, Chifuyu deserves better :/ W/C: 4k + words A/N: Welp, off to a good start in the new year. As previously mentioned in a post, this fic took me a good while to finish. This fic is basically me reflecting on a situation that occured many, many years ago. I was so foolish to destroy something great in favor of keeping my heart safe, but today I'm old enough to know that love is a complicated thing, even if it's just platonic. Tagging luvs @avatarofstars @kokonoiscoconut @nanamikentoseyebags (look, this is the fic I rambled to you months ago!)

Glossary:

Moira = Also known as the fates; Greek goddesses of fate

Atropos = Greek for “unalterable”/ “inflexible”: one of the three Moira; the goddess that cuts the thread (symbolizes life), making her the one that decides ones inevitable fate

Love is a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Stalking its prey and disguising itself as an innocent feeling of adoration, it lulls you into a false sense of security. It’s a soft voice in your head that gently whispers to you, advising, begging, demanding you to lower the walls you’ve built around your heart.

“It’s ok” It’ll whisper to you in an encouraging voice “It’s ok to lower your guard. It’s ok to feel vulnerable. It’s only human that you want to love and be loved”

You were 15 years old when you caved, and you caved for none other than Chifuyu Matsuno.

You wouldn’t have looked twice his way if the circumstances were different.To you he was a troublemaker, someone you’d forget about after graduating highschool. But just like in a classical Greek drama, the Moira already sealed your fate, dooming you to fall right into Chifuyus warm embrace. At the darkest time of your life, he was the sole candle that illuminated the night of your melancholy. His light helped you navigate and keep the demons of the night away. In a way, Chifuyu was your personal safe haven.

Befriending Chifuyu felt like finally putting the last piece into the puzzle. But no matter how strong a bond is, if the Gods demand the ties to be severed, so it be…

Your lungs burned from the lack of oxygen. Not being used to running this much, your legs began hurting as you stormed through the familiar streets. You ignored the voice calling not too far behind you, begging you to stop, to return to him, to talk to him goddamnit. You ignored the pain that shoots through your legs with every step you take and his desperate cries. Your heart thudded against your ribcage as you finally arrived at your destination: Your home, your fortress. You shakily searched for the keys of your home, taking them out of your pocket. Thank God, you found your keys just in time. You swiftly opened the door and entered, not looking back as you slammed the door a bit too loudly behind you. Once you entered your home, you slumped down right before the door, not even bothering to turn on the lights. With trembling hands you brought your knees closer to yourself. Engulfed in the darkness of your home, you were left alone with the memories of Chifuyu Matsuno, the man that the fates have tied you to.

Memories of golden days rushed through your brain. Memories of sitting next to Chifuyu in a cute cafe near your university. You and him have been friends for a while now, not imagining what life would be without the other.

“Look what I’ve found at the bookstore” Chifuyu mused excitedly, “It’s a manga I used to read back in highschool!”

You playfully rolled your eyes at your best friend “Wow, and here I thought you would start reading real literature” You giggled before taking a sip of your coffee.

“This is real literature! Ai Yazawa knows how to write compelling, and most importantly, real characters. Take this manga for instance-” He scooted closer to you, taking the manga out of his backpack before opening it. Being so close to him, smelling his fresh cologne that he recently started to use, and seeing the excited glint in his eyes as he got ready to rave about the manga, made you feel at ease. Without knowing it, Chifuyu would always calm your nerves.

You took a look at the opened manga on the table. Inside you saw beautifully drawn panels. As you took a closer look, you noted that the characters have been drawn very detailed. You especially took note of the extravagant jewelry.

“This manga -” Chifuyu pointed at a panel of two women sitting on what appeared to be a dining table.

“- covers so many serious topics. It covers romance, breakups, loss, grief, loneliness, and much much more!” he sighs “Listen, I know you might think this is silly, but I really want to reread this manga series with you because I feel like you could relate with the characters.”

Humming, you gently took the manga from Chifuyus light grip, your hand lightly brushing against his. You inspected the manga closer, flipping through the pages and skimming through the speech bubbles sporadically before closing it. Upon closing the manga, you teasingly side-eyed your best friend.

“‘Nana’? Really?” You chuckled as you handed the manga back to him.

“I heard of this manga. Man, I wouldn’t have thought that you’d be into that” sighing, you continued your teasing remarks. “Who would have thought?Just when I thought I knew everything about you, I’m learning something new”

Chifuyu flushed at your taunts. He took the manga back and brought it close to his chest.

“I know, I know. Who would have thought that a feared gangster would be into that stuff”

“Feared? You’re Chifuyu Matsuno, not Sano Manjirou”

Throwing a glare at you, you knew this was Chifuyus way of asking you to shut up. You chuckled at Chifuyus blushing angry face. Adorable, you thought to yourself as you took another sip from your coffee.

“I’m just joking. If ‘Nana’ is so important to you, I’m willing to give it a shot” You grinned at him “But we need to find the Saturn shaped earrings. I don’t know much about the plot, but I can tell these characters got style”

Bittersweet memories of you and Chifuyu sitting side by side in silence reading his favorite manga shot through your head. You’d discuss the themes with him, but most importantly, the jewelry of the manga. As it turned out the Saturn shaped earrings were made by the real life designer brand Vivienne Westwood, and staying true to your words, you dragged Chifuyu to a department store that sells Vivienne Westwwod pieces.

You remember entering the department store and being met with the smell of expensive perfumes and the bright colors of designer bags. As you walked further and further into the store, mesmerized by the sheer luxury money could buy, you finally spotted the familiar logo that you’ve been looking for. You grabbed Chifuyus arm and began moving closer to the Vivienne Westwood stand, excitedly pointing at it.

“Fuyu, look! We found it!”

You remember him chuckling at you, you remember the way his eyes sparkled in amusement. But more importantly, you remember forgetting for a second about the earrings upon gazing into his eyes. A wave of emotions so sweet rolled over you, you swore you were drowning in honey. Or perhaps you were drowning in the oceans of his eyes? Brilliant turquoise pools that seemed to drag you deeper and deeper into them, and for the first time in your life, drowning didn’t seem so scary anymore.

Either way, Chifuyu managed to take your breath away that day.

Your hand felt heavy as you mustered up all the strength to lift it to your ear. The metal saturn in your lobe, the earring you and Chifuyu got, felt so cold against your fingertips as the memories kept on replaying.

As it turned out, the earrings were way above your budget. Staring at the rhinestone encrusted studs, your mind began to crank the numbers.

“If I save up, I might get these earrings… in about three months”, you muttered under your breath mindlessly, eyes still focused on the price tag of the earrings you wanted to wear for so long.

You remember Chifuyu Chifuyu placing his hand on your shoulder and smiling warmly at you.

“You know, I always wanted us to have a friendship bracelet…” He trailed off, looking at you expectantly. The gleam in his eyes tells you that Chifuyu is trying to say something, hinting at something that you should understand.

“Yeah? What does that have to do with the earrings?” You bluntly stated, oblivious to his effort to get you to understand what he was trying to say.

“Dummy, you should stop hanging out with Baji-san. His stupidity is rubbing off on you” Chifuyu teased.

“Hey! Now that is insulting, you know? I’m way smarter than he is” You rolled your eyes at your best friend, feeling irked at being lumped into the same category as your dumbass friend, Baji. You were about to bark back an insult about his stupidly round face, or his dumb, edgy hair from middle school, literally anything, just to shut him up. However, knowing how you get defensive, Chifuyu cut you off, not letting you insult him.

“What I was trying to say was, we could also have friendship earrings. You pay for one earring, and I for the other.”

You were left speechless. Chifuyu’s words hit you like a brick, the meaning behind them slowly sinking in. He would pay half the price for the earrings that you wanted so desperately…

The sweet gesture makes you feel fuzzy deep inside. He knew how much you wanted the earrings, so he wanted to make sure you got at least one earring. So thoughtful of him, he cares for his friends a lot… Warmth spread across your body, as you met Chifuyu’s seafoam eyes gazing softly at you. You could make out his trademark smile and a pink hue grazing his face. For the first time, Chifuyu looked different to you.

Side eying the price tag, you were brought back to reality. These earrings were still expensive, even if Chifuyu paid half the price. You didn’t want him to spend his money on you, especially on jewelry.

“You don’t have to-”

“I insist. Besides it’s not like you’re getting the earrings to yourself. We’ll share”

“Still, I would like to-”

“Listen” , Chifuyu cut you off mid sentence once again.

“I will get you the earrings one way or another. If we walk out without the earrings today, I will come back and get the earrings another time. I know how much you want them, so please, let me at least help you out”

Your stomach churned, Chifuyu’s words hitting you right in your heart. Trying to be annoyed at him turned out to be futile, his stubbornness and insistence on getting the earrings made you feel appreciated. You meant a lot to him, and Chifuyu would go out of his way to prove to you that you are dear to him.

You sighed, giving up on all your counterarguments to stop Chifuyu from his plan.

“Fine, but promise me you’ll always wear your earring, ok?”

Chifuyu grinned victoriously at you, his hand reaching to find yours as he softly pulled you towards the counter.

“Of course. I just want to see you happy”

Walking out of the store, you and Chifuyu wore the earrings. You wearing your earring on your right ear, and him wearing his earring on his left ear, you walked through the busy streets of Tokyo in silence. Still unable to comprehend how Chifuyu was able to convince you to have friendship earrings - expensive designer friendship earrings no less - you racked your brain on how you’d thank him. To your surprise, Chifuyu took the initiative.

“The earring suits you a lot. I’m glad I can share this experience with you”

“Gosh Chifuyu, ever the charmer” You teased back, trying to play it cool. He didn’t need to know that his loving words were your kryptonite.

“Oh, I know I’m charming” Chifuyu chuckles as he stops and attempts to tuck your hair behind your ear to look at the earring.

“But I mean it. The earring suits you a lot; you bring out its beauty” Chifuyu gazed into your eyes “I love that we share the pair, you know? Now everyone will know that we are two halves of one whole”

You rolled your eyes at him, your heart beating faster and heat spreading across your face as you heard the latter part.

“You are such a sap, Fuyu. This is why Kazutora and Baji make fun of you”

“Hey!”

Chifuyu took his promise seriously; he never took off his earring. He knew how important it was for you to see the shining silver metal on him, and wearing the earring meant to him to commit to you and your friendship.

Sitting on the cold floor of your apartment, you remembered how your friendship turned into something different, into something that scared you.

As time went on, the boundaries between friendship and romance seemed to blur, and your feelings for your supposed best friend seemed to get more confusing. You found yourself daydreaming about the blonde man, worrying about his well-being and wondering who he's hanging out with when he wasn’t with you. Was he with Baji? The gang? With someone else? Someone prettier?

You’d have to snap yourself out of your thoughts on numerous occasions. What was going on with you? Why the hell did you think about Chifuyu possibly going out on dates, and why did it break your heart?

One particular event seemed to open your eyes to what you felt towards Chifuyu, your best friend.

Worry filled you as the nth text went unanswered. A wave of dread washed over you as the alarms went off in your head after remembering that Chifuyu was supposed to be in one of the shadiest parts of Tokyo, bashing some punk's head. Or getting his head bashed by some punk…

Remembering the way you were practically on your knees, your hands clasped together as you prayed to any God and entity that came to your mind, was bittersweet to you. God, you loved him more than you respect yourself. And you still do.

You remembered that the only thing that was able to stop your uncontrollable sobbing was the familiar sound of your doorbell ringing. Chifuyu…

It was truly remarkable how you were able to sense the person behind your front door was none other than your best friend. One moment, you were a sobbing mess on the floor, and the next, you were a sobbing mess at the door. You remember throwing yourself into the arms of a barely standing Chifuyu, almost knocking him off his feet. Tears soaked his already dirty gang uniform, but neither of you cared. All that mattered to you was that he was in your arms in one piece, alive and breathing.

Chifuyu held you tight. Seemingly having forgotten about his own painful bruises, he softly stroked your tear stricken cheek, cooing reassuringly to you as you felt his warm embrace engulf you.

“It’s fine” Chifuyu would whisper “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere” He knew you so well. He knew you would worry after not responding to any calls or messages, too busy to fight alongside his friends to pick up his phone, so Chifuyu mustered up the little energy he had left and limped to your home. As realization hit you, you couldn’t help but feel your heart flutter. You still shook in his arms, tears still falling down your eyes, but for a different reason.

You couldn’t deny it any longer: You were hopelessly in love with Chifuyu, and that fact alone made you unable to sleep. The memories still fresh in your mind of you rolling around in your bed, trying to find fault in the blonde man. You didn’t want to love him as much as you did, so trying to fall out of love seemed like a viable option. You thought hard of his stupid face when he read his favorite manga. But he looks so cute. His crazy devotion to his friends, he would do the most reckless things just to help. But he is so loyal and loving. You thought about his lame jokes, which you still laughed about because how could you not? No matter the way you looked at him, Chifuyu seemed beyond perfect, too good, in your eyes. With a defeated sigh, you gave up trying to find anything wrong with Chifuyu. There wasn’t anything wrong with him.

As time went on, the feelings you’ve been fighting so hard wouldn’t leave. Like a wolf stalking its prey, it was always a step right behind you, breathing right into your neck as it waited to swallow you whole. You feared loving Chifuyu, but you feared not loving Chifuyu as well.

So you withdrew from Chifuyu. Despite the stabbing pain you felt inside your heart as whenever you saw the disappointed and saddened face from the blonde whenever you’d decline hanging out with him, you knew that you had to stay away from him. Maybe the feelings would fade away on their own? You kept trying to tell yourself that loving Chifuyu wasn’t an option. It was either get your feelings under control or never see Chifuyu again. Guilty thoughts spread in your mind and followed you to your sleep, making you unable to rest. How could you ever think about leaving Chifuyu like that?

But oh, the Gods above must be laughing at the spectacle, wheezing as your mind was clouded by the fear of committing. At last, overwhelmed by the dread and lack of sleep, no clear thought was formed as you confronted Chifuyu one last time, to cut the string that connected you two. Everything was a blur, you could barely remember the exact words you uttered to your now ex best friend, but one thing you could never forget, and that was his face. You remember clearly his eyes shooting wide as your words sunk in, his eyebrows knitting together. Chifuyu opened his mouth, to ask you, no, to beg you to stay, but you were unable to look him in the eye with a clear conscience. So you ran to your home.

A loud bang behind you brought you back to reality. Of course Chifuyu wouldn’t just accept defeat. He’d do anything to get you back.

“Please, let’s just talk it out!” Chifuyu demanded behind your door, the banging on the door not faltering. He’s going to hurt himself, you thought, wanting to open the door, and bandage his throbbing hands. In another life, you’d profusely apologize for even thinking about abandoning Chifuyu. In another life, you’d have the courage to face the hungry wolf and allow it to consume you; you’d embrace the beast that was love and come to the understanding that love’s bite isn’t as painful as you originally thought. In another life, you’d give love a chance. But fate is anything but nice, and now you have to suffer through the consequences of throwing away your friendship.

You clasped your hand over your mouth, muffling the sobbing to the best of your abilities. Tears streamed down your face, and judging by the shakiness of Chifuyu’s pleas, you weren’t the only one crying.

“I know you’re listening to me, so please, I can’t just let you cut ties with me like that! Talk to me, we can fix whatever is bothering you!”

And God knows the cruelest answer to the begging of a broken hearted man is silence. But how could you respond when your mind is so loud? Every fiber in your body was screaming, demanding you to answer Chifuyu, to ask for forgiveness and pour your hearts out on him, but you couldn’t allow yourself to open the door. So you didn’t answer him, forcing yourself to remain quiet as the man behind your door couldn’t admit defeat just yet.

“Please, we can even pretend this never happened. I just need you to talk to me”, Chifuyus voice trembled, still of the opinion that his words full of agony could reach you. You had to finally end it, so you took a deep breath to calm yourself. Collecting the little energy that you had left, you were sent the final blow that burned the bridges.

“Why can’t you just leave me alone?” your words dripping with poison, you projected the disgust you felt towards yourself onto Chifuyu.

“Can’t you see that I just don’t want to be around you? Things have changed, Chifuyu, so be a fucking adult about it and accept my decision”

And with that, the knocking stopped and Chifuyu remained quiet. You held your own breath as you felt regret wash over you. You said way too much. Your words so mean and hateful, words you didn’t even mean, have effectively broken Chifuyu’s will and heart. The silence became so overbearing that you assumed he might have left already, until you heard his voice right behind your door.

“I’m sorry you had to put up with me. I know that it must have been hard for you to make this decision, but you have every right to end our friendship if it feels wrong to you. I accept and respect it, I really do, although it pains me to let you go like that” Chifuyu stayed silent for a moment, his voice still shaky when he continued “I will always treasure the time that I have spent with you. And despite the way that you’ve decided to end it…. I can’t hate you. Goodbye”

And just like that, Chifuyu left and took a piece of your heart with him. You felt numb, never having anticipated that you’d lose yourself in the process of letting go of Chifuyu. It’s for the better, you tried to tell yourself, but your broken heart knew better. Your attempt at standing up failed, your legs and arms weren’t able to carry you to your bedroom, so you remained seated on the cold floor, your back still pressed against your door. Before you knew it, sleep had taken over you, kidnapping you to a time and place much merrier.

Dreaming of gleaming seafoam eyes contorted in pain as tears rolled down his rosy cheeks, you couldn’t even escape Chifuyu in your sleep, but oh, he still looked so pretty to you. You wanted to reach out to him so desperately, but you just couldn’t move. You didn’t even have the chance to admire him any longer, as a knock on the door awoke you from your slumber. Groaning, you cursed at the person that had woken you up. Grumbling, you managed to stand up with shaky legs. The person behind the door seemed eager, the knocking not seeming to end anytime soon. So, you opened the door to see an empty hallway. Were you imagining things? Have you gone insane at this point? Or did someone play a childish prank on you?

Feeling fed up, you attempted to slam the door shut, however, something was blocking it from closing. You saw a small package from a familiar online retailer and mentally slapped yourself. Of course you’d get whatever you’ve ordered at the worst time possible. Bending down, you stretched your arms to pick up the package, until you spotted something silver on your doormat. All thoughts about the package left your mind as you inspected the shiny object, already dreading what it was.

In your hand, you held a small saturn shaped earring, the perfect twin to the one you were wearing.

“No”, you breathed out, as your suspicions got confirmed. The silver Vivienne Westwood earring Chifuyu wore as a symbol for your friendship. He must have taken it off and placed it on the doormat after I demanded he’d leave… You knew that this was ultimately what you wanted, cutting contact with Chifuyu to fall out of love, but holding the symbol of your friendship in your hand was a special kind of pain.

So you took the earring inside, having forgotten about the package, and went to your bedroom. Heading to grab your jewelry box, you placed the Chifuyu’s earring inside. With a heavy heart, your hands moved to your ear, slowly taking off your own earring and placing it right beside the other one. You knew this was the right thing to do, after all, at least the earrings could be a perfect pair together.

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