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#also the way i learned he was dead??? ridiculous
periwinkla · 3 days
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Phoenix - Godot parallels
I've been replaying T&T and I gotta say, the parallels between Phoenix and Godot are uncanny. The most glaring resemblance is that they're both so presumptuously convinced that they are the only ones who can and should have the responsability of saving the people they love. Note also that their Japanese names, interestingly, both reference dragons - Ryuuchi and Souryuu respectively - but they do so in reverse : the first kanji for Phoenix and the last for Godot. Godot wakes up after 5 years and learns that the love of his life was killed. He couldn't do anything about it because he was poisoned and thus out of commission. Then he learns that said love of his life had taken on a protégé, and he also learns that the lovesick idiot willingly swalled the same poison that put him into a coma, and was swimmingly fine. He is so pissed at the guy. Also envious. Phoenix was there. Why couldn't he be there instead? Why did the poison put him into a coma, and not that stupid lovesick fool? He twistedly but most furiously hates the guy. Thus he crawls back from the deepest depths of hell. But he knows, deep down, that the one he really hates is himself (not that he could have done anything about it, even if he had not been in a coma - but feelings are hardly logical) Something Phoenix and Godot share is that twisted savior complex. Godot thinks he should have been the one to save Mia, Phoenix becomes a defense attorney because he thinks he is the only one who can save Miles, the only one who understands him (and then it's a slippery slope to wanting to save everyone ever, but that's beside the point). Both are quite presumptuous in these assertions. But Phoenix was able to save Miles (in a way he hadn't expected) - Godot couldn't save Mia. If Phoenix hadn't been able to save him, would he have ended up the same as Godot did? Remember, if he hadn't won that trial, Miles would have faced the death penalty. So, if the poison had worked and he was out of commission for 5 years, he would have been too late. If you think about it, we had a glimpse of what Phoenix would have been like. When he thought Miles was dead, he snapped at Maya and told her not to speak his name in front of him ever again. He was also quite depressed for those months and refused to take on cases at first, cases of possibly innocent people who needed him. And when Miles came back, he snapped at Miles too. Which leads me to my last point: Both Godot and Phoenix resort to anger as soon as they're hurt as their form of dealing with grief. They are so similar. One was just less lucky that the other. Also by this logic you could say that miego is basically narumitsu with a bad ending, which makes me cry so hard darnit edit: it's also fun to note that they both went crazy over someone they knew for less than a year. People call Phoenix ridiculous but Godot is basically the same kind of ridiculous
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pickled-flowers · 4 months
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It's not like most Cowboy Fringants songs already made me quite emotional, but now that the main lead singer is dead I think I'm just gonna go fall into some hole
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unproduciblesmackdown · 7 months
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spinning off of "winston being fantastically (literally fantastical (literally related to fantasy)) clairvoyant (he is also figuratively clear-sighted / figuratively preternaturally perceptive just like, in the show. which is where this all comes from. plus him calling himself cassandra, always seeing the future. he really has always / continued to be thusly) and taylor literally has a broadsword" type fun and games that are very loosey goosey b/c billions aus go spinning off into their own separate dimensions super easily when billions canon is so rooted in its specific Stage Settings of modern day US law n finance battles in the office, sidewalks, and eateries:
the thought of winston & tuk and winston gets to be a fairy. jokes, please. changelings are right there with the common theory of "was this to explain disabilities & go 'something could go Wrong and the baby's not a Person and get rid of that,' unlike nowadays where people do that but go 'b/c that baby's disabled'" and also one goes Thinking Emoji about how apparently New Mothers and New Brides were susceptible along with New Borns to become swapped out with a fairy and now something's wrong with them and get rid of that. had to be about Something given that people apparently did act on changeling lore and martin luther is taking a stance like yeah another thesis, it's important to kill them And okay to kill them b/c they don't even have a soul anyways. okay thanks martin luther....meanwhile also witchcraft and getting after anybody for that too. and fairies generally as Problems, the etymology going back to [fate], the range like "ooh hehe causing funny little inconveniences just because" to more so "yeah they could cause life-threatening illness for that" and "yeah they'll just kill you"....and i think fairy/fey as respective noun/adj re: being gay is of Unknown Origin, like "gay" also is. and you never know, if being fey is like, well something's not right and it's dangerous, whether this is the inspiration....though by the time this slang starts turning up, and even in the time of prior possible origins / the roots in other usages / potential inspirations, theoretical actual fairies are surely becoming more Fanciful, this being around like, the 18th century, rather than "here's martin luther telling you to immolate! that! baby!"
but that like, you can have it all ways out here. the Always Small fairies i think being a later kind of victorian deal, rather than "fairies are shapeshifters & can become animals e.g. & May have a 'tiny little inches or millimeters high mode' but that's just a mode & the fact that generally though they just look like people, maybe with some stylistic variations and tells, means watch out" and i think wings came up ever, across yknow the various centuries and regions of folklore out here lmao and possible origins / influences yet further across time & regions & cultures, but again "always small and always winged" being a very relatively modern victorian deal. but we can draw on that to be sure when, additionally, a Potential mutual [would prefer to avoid] between fairies and humans (as opposed to "if your house or some shit is on a fairy path bestie just build them another door to walk straight through cuz they're Gonna") becomes "no, fairies mostly avoid humans more than the other way around" type of imbalance of any threat means like, well hey sure, the Real Self could then become a tiny little magical guy having fun with wing designs who is shy and elusive but maybe another fun little guy can accidentally become aware but then have a secret little hidden friendship hmm....
but then also just thinking of the version where you just look exactly like everyone else and live amongst them, changeling style. and potentially don't Know you're different, or at least not Why, b/c this is a "from birth" thing like hmmm ya don't say. and the whole thread where in some folklore fairies Aren't nonhuman, the difference is only about the separate fairy Realm you live in, which is different, with like "yeah sometimes fairies come from people who died." and alongside / overlapping with everything like "yeah you could disappear for a few days to that realm and then be like 'don't wanna / can't talk about it'" and whatever all various like "watch out for the liminal and unknowingly wandering or being taken into the fairy world and Then watch out for communing with them b/c then you could be Permanently affected, or permanently continually affected or vulnerable, or just stuck there. and we wouldn't want that" like well don't let them know your name but maybe try to find out their names b/c you can get at them in turn that way, don't get in on any food, don't get in on any parties. though variations, sometimes people getting whisked away for particular tasks that apparently Only humans can do. or forever potential for helpful / sympathetic fairy interventions in life. like fairies raising humans b/c their human parents were awful
also, that some classic Tests for "is your baby a changeling?" were very like, "well i guess if we drowned or burned that person and they just died about it....our bad," in the way that like apparently the way to go could be "put them in the fire. where they'll either burn or fly out the chimney." or "start going tf beating them with objects. so that they go away" like and they never stop beating winston with hammers out here!! or the classic "idk abandon them in the forest so fairies can take them back" like well they do also like [i prefer to pretend winston doesn't exist / forget that he does] lmao. this isn't really related. just the ol "ballpeen hammers kind of goated when it comes to putting someone in a sack and beating them to death" factor out here for your local changelings
also sure thinking of like ohh watch out for winston and his gayass Realm he exists in which is wrong and not of our own and potentially will forever change you with its gayass ways. uh oh don't get corrupted into a whole other powerful magical mode of existence if you commune with him in some deep fundamental nourishing ways. oh nooo watch ouuuut....one of the "you might be a changeling if" moments being "when they think they're alone do they act up?? dance??" like yeah i'm stimming and bursting into motion and making noises and existing wrong when i think i'm alone. Old Souls (theory as well that newborn changelings were secretly elderly fairies)....existence in the Fey Realm just making you different and out of place huh. and it would just be a guy though like either [undetectable except by already trying to kill them] and/or [actually just a human, fairies are just humans, fairies b/c they're in/from the fairy realm] but uh oh don't let him corrupt you. don't go hanging out with him and talking with him and partaking in his activities and embracing his ways. you'll be changed. you'll never fit in around here and be able to do things right ever again. we'll have to start beating you with hammers. and all for what. your weird gayass little guy and a whole possible other dimension of existence? vs all This? smh
#that fey little mf. all the same glasses hoodies cargo pants winston....#winston billions#you can't go wrong. sort of semi fantastical au. or just modern day ''fairies can even be in your hedge fund office'' magical realism#not even like there's clear Powers lol like what do fairies do? well bit fuzzy on that but one things for sure:#cause problems for US!!!! like wow the way symptoms & definitions of disabilities are approached much?#you might be a fairy if....ouch i'm dead of unclear causes in 1337. Not very 1337....#winston is truly always causing problems. also learned that ''oaf'' (another word i've recently thought like ''i would just not say that''#b/c for some reason the nyt i believe described orville wingate as [still an(?)] Oaf & i was like a) huh b) excuse me) derives from fairy#as it was a term for a changeling specifically :I which juuust so happens to lead to connotations of Stupidity(tm) & Clumsiness(tm)#hmm! you do not say it!#what could changeling winston do? up for grabs. but the point is: change(ling) your life. and other fun things :)#also i think another potential fairy ability was: seeing the future as well lol. it's all coming together#seeing winston with fun bird wings b/c you've communed with him ''too much'' already. not an angel thing. a fairy thing#(sidebar abt how some Lore was that they Are an angel thing. see: influence from whole other traditions lol)#winston Becoming a bird b/c he can do things like that b/c fairies are shapeshifters. he's a pigeon =) you have a nest for him =) cooing#another parallel like ''definitely don't fuck him or you're locked in to his gay autistic realm for sure''#just like how as a theoretically real world autistic person everyone just knows winston isn't allowed to have sex#nowadays how ridiculous to imagine going: we think someone is weird & dislike their vibes; they shouldn't exist. we should ostracize them#we would never be like; some corruption has caused your child to exist wrong. basically taking your Real child away from you#or when they do tragically exist that they should be driven away to any possible extent up to ''just kill them :( sorry for You btw''#with the Possibility fairies could give you your Real Human Child back....#autistic kid? number one recommendation totally isn't ''put them in specialized abuse school where we try to banish the autism for you''
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begaycommittreason · 1 month
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out of context things heard in wayne manor:
bruce: i understand, but pretending you cooked jerry the turkey is not a proportionate response to damian calling you a peasant again
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jason: look there’s a right way and a wrong way to make food. there’s also the bruce way, which is the wrong way except faster and worse
duke: *frantically scribbling notes*
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tim: do you think our relationship was kinda like incest now?
steph, horrified: never open your mouth in my presence again timothy
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dick: so then he’s like—guys. guys are you seriously signing about me in front of my face. i learned it too—hey i do NOT have a butt chin take that back—
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damian: i don’t understand, why does he wear such a ridiculous hat? is it like that margaret poppins woman grayson showed me?
tim, who watched the live action cat in the hat too much as a kid and is about to violently infodump: well you see-
dick: oh god it’s too late
jason: yeah the brats on his own for this one i’m not fucking dealing with that again
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bruce: are you lying?
tim: always. anyway, like i was saying—
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steph: hey what’s up with you and all the redheads
dick: …i’m not discussing this with you
steph, starting to chase him: gingervitus is a serious affliction! you cant run from this
dick, sprinting away: yes the fuck i can
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duke: so is anyone gonna talk about the elephant in the room…
dick:
dick: look i was feeling sentimental and zitka jr. really isn’t any trouble
damian: she is magnificent
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tim: so i dropped out and
duke: wait we can drop out of high school??!!?
bruce: NO.
duke: please bruce ap biology is beating my ass right now
jason: nah tim just got to drop cause bruce was dead and he’s a loser. the real problem is what you’re reading in ap lit right now, because i have thoughts on that curriculum—
duke: i’m not even gonna use half that material in the real world
tim: actually most of our villains have PhDs so their plans are based on pretty real science
duke: not helping timothy
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cass, signing: why are brothers on the ceiling?
jason: tims in timeout from working on his caseload
cass, still confused: yes but why taped to the ceiling
duke: listen if you know a better way of restraining his psycho ass then i’m all ears
cass: and damian?
jason: oh he saw this as free range target practice so he had to go up there too
cass: they are plotting revenge up there
duke: think of it as brotherly bonding
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damian: it’s not my fault he got in the way
bruce: you threw an eclair at lex luthor
damian: i was aiming for drake
tim: bruce we can’t take him anywhere
dick, holding back laughter: timmy you paid four separate people to come to the gala solely to ask lex if they could use his head to see if they had something in their teeth
tim: you have no proof that was me
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duke: look steph, it’s not that we don’t want to help with this
jason: i don’t want to help
duke: it’s more that i don’t think we can physically fit that many people in a shopping cart, and your whole plan kind of hinges on that
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alfred: i’m not mad, just disappointed in you.
every batkid, near tears: sorry alfred
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jason: HE HAD DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY AS THE FUCKING WHAT—
bruce: listen—
tim, mouth full and brain empty: the ambassador to iran. crazy right?
dick: tim please
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animentality · 4 months
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I see a lot of BG3 fans saying that they need to add a married with children ending for all the companions or add a Zevlor/ Dammon/Roland whoever romance option, but with all due respect... you're all wrong.
You don't need a fucking domestic life scene with all the companions, you don't need those random npcs to fuck you (that's what mods are for).
What they need to fucking do is finish the upper city.
Give Karlach actual fucking quests and the option to fix her heart.
Give Wyll fucking quests in the upper city and more romance scenes because his number of fucking unique scenes is ridiculously lower than Gale or Astarion's and gee I wonder why.
Please for the love of God, fill cazador's palace because that space is way too fucking big for how little is in it. It's actually kind of embarrassing how empty the palace is.
Fill the temple of Bhaal which has the same fucking problem.
Also while we're fucking at it?
When you're doing all that shit, why don't you attempt to give Orin and Gortash any of the same weight and respect you gave Ketheric???
The entirety of act 2 set him up as a major villain and made him intimidating and then sympathetic and then back to intimidating, and then back to tragic.
He had a whole descent into villainy story arc, with entire quests dedicated to understanding what happened to him.
He's a rich character because of it.
Gortash and Orin??? I mean come the fuck on.
Gortash either dies or dies, and Orin is literally your SIBLING if you're the dark urge, but all you can really do is kill her after she says the same shit to you that she says to a Tav.
You can't talk to her or learn more about her or your past, aside from talking to her dead mom.
She and Gortash come across as mini bosses. They almost feel like optional fucking side quests with how not involved they are.
Also remove lady jannath's house entirely from the game, thanks.
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nomazee · 7 months
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bsd characters and how they sleep (with you)
i fear i wrote this in twenty minutes in a feverish haze and have no idea how we got here... forgive any spelling/grammar errors but i hope it's cutesy characters: dazai, atsushi, yosano, chuuya, ranpo im taking requests!
°+..。゚。゚+.*.。.
dazai: 
ABSOLUTELY EASILY the clingiest one
will completely wrap his limbs around you from behind or from the front 
it’s so hard to pry him off of you in the morning it’s like he gets ten times heavier when he’s asleep 
also sleeps without socks but complains about being cold all the time 
makes the both of you sleep with not one but TWO weighted blankets some days 
it’s a little ridiculous but you put up with it because you love him 
he also runs SO COLD 
toes are freezing, hands are freezing, NOSE is freezing 
he sticks his nose into the crook of your neck when he’s clinging onto you 
you’ve only shrieked ONCE from the shock. maybe twice 
manages to stay still all throughout the night but that’s only because he’s too busy latching onto you like a leech
atsushi: 
too nervous to ask you to hold him so instead he’ll hold your hand while you sleep 
it’s the sweetest thing ever 
absolutely wakes up in the middle of the night if he feels your hand slip from his and will reach for it again 
it takes like a month of sleeping in the same bed for you to recognize all his little quirks and the things he likes 
you learn that he loves it when you kiss his hairline right before he falls asleep 
it leads to a lot more peaceful nights and he doesn’t wake up in a cold sweat as often anymore 
sometimes he ends up wrapping an arm around your torso while he’s asleep without even realizing it 
when he wakes up he doesn’t get embarrassed or anything but DOES pretend to be asleep until you get up so that he can stick to you for longer 
yosano: 
THE MOST VIOLENT SLEEPER 
sleeping in the same bed with her is a death wish most nights 
she rolls around, flails, will wake up in the middle of the night and mumble something unintelligible before hitting you in the face
she’s crazy! she’s your hot gf! you sit there and take it like the loyal spouse you are! 
her FAVE way to sleep is face down, starfish-pose on top of you 
yes you can’t breathe at all but yes the weight is comforting 
when she sleeps like that sometimes you’ll get a little treat during the night, and instead of hitting you in the face in her sleep she’ll kiss along your cheek all warm and soft 
sometimes that ends in her drooling on your face 
makes up for her drool and nightly attacks by waking you up with kisses (and bites on your CHEEK) and even breakfast when she’s in a good mood 
chuuya: 
he loves you so much but he is also dramatic 
which means… he has his own sleep routine and bed set-up and if it’s disturbed he will not get a second of rest 
he invests in a california king bed so that you can have your side and he can have his side 
he sets the thermostat to a certain temperature, picks out blankets depending on the weather, adjusts his pillows every night, sleeps with an eyemask… it’s a little bit overkill 
you don’t make fun of him for it because you know he’d kill you 
sleeps on his back with his hands folded on his chest like he’s in a COFFIN
also sleeps like the dead and you’ve woken up a few times crying his name because you thought he was actually dead
if you try holding onto him during the night he’ll flinch without meaning to and start mumbling curses to himself 
it takes you a while to get used to it 
he makes up for his stringent sleep routine by letting you nap on the couch with him once in a while 
he can handle that at the very least
will totally collapse right on top of you on the couch and fall asleep after a long day at work 
sedated immediately if you run your fingers through his hair 
lets out the cutest snores BUT DO NOT TELL HIM THAT OR HE WILL NEVER SLEEP ON YOU AGAIN!!!!
ranpo: 
so incredibly fussy 
moves around so much in his sleep and can never get comfortable 
is always pushing your head off your pillows and rotating them so that you can both sleep on the cold side 
kicks off his blankets just to complain about being cold and makes you lean over the bed to pick the covers back up and tuck him in 
favorite way to sleep with you is facing you with his arms wrapped around your neck 
this DOES end up in him accidentally choking you sometimes 
if he gets too hot he has no shame in pushing you away and OFF THE BED 
you put up with it because you love him and you wouldn’t have it any other way 
chews on your hair??? in your sleep??? 
you wake up with half your hair covered in drool 
have you seen that one video of the girl’s rabbit biting a strand of her hair clean off. that’s him. he’s the rabbit. 
has a weak spot for sleepy kisses AUUUGGGHHH 
will never initiate them but will always melt into your hands if you squeeze his face and give him a big fat forehead kiss
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DPXDC prompt ~ Honor to Us All ~ Gotham as one true the most haunted city edition
~~~~~
Instead of a welcoming banner in front of a city was an old column, so familiar to a boy, with a warning inscription:
"To outsiders mad enough to attack Gotham: You will be forced to understand that dead soldiers will also go into battle. And having risen to protect, they will be ready to perish all again, So no one of the living would die near them."
Danny smiled with love. 'I’m home, Mother.' Ghost whispered into the void. And Gotham answered.
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Danny: My Lady, I brought you the crown of Pariah Dark. And The Ring of Rage. They’re gifts to honor the Gotham family. Lady Gotham: The greatest gift and honor is having you on my side, child.
~~~~~
Danny Fenton was born in Gotham and lived here until his parents decided to move. The city didn’t accept them.
'When I die, I want to be one of the Gotham Knights.' Little Danny with pride and eagerly reported to his parents after visiting the Battle Glory of Gotham Museum on a school trip. This evening, Danny learned that not all his plans should be told to his parents.
Danny know his parents are crazy about ghosts. and that all ghosts are "bad". But obviously, the ghosts they talk about, and his, or rather Gotham's, ghosts are completely different creatures. The spirits of the defenders are those who, even in the darkest of times, make the shadows of the Gotham a protection to the citizens.
But that knowledge is his little secret for now. Because if he starts arguing he’ll be punished and he won’t be able to run off to the roof where he’s arranged to meet Robin. Robin’s cool! He works with one of the 'still-living' knights. And he knows more about the city than anyone. Danny doesn’t want to offend his friend.
~~~~~
Mr Lancer doesn’t understand why the lecturer about ghosts, Constantine, after seeing Danny, said something about the bloody gothamites and their inability to stay underground. It wasn’t nice at all. Mr Lancer doesn’t blame Mr Fenton for smiling at the man a little aggressive and viciously. Poor boy probably didn’t know how to respond to his behavior. Danny moved to Amity Park a long time ago and did not stand out at all. So what was this man’s problem?
Danny only half dies because Lady Gotham blessed him when he was a child. So when Danny sees snow-white hair and glowing green eyes in the mirror, he is not frightened but surprised that the Lady protected him even though he is not living in Gotham now.
~~~~~
Danny knows gothamites don’t consider that Gotham is a part of the USA. Even their Metropolis neighbors are just pathetic cowards, unable to withstand the hardships of life. No, really. Why the hell would they be patriots of the country that thinks they’re its dirty secret? This opinion is shared by old ones and children, rich ones and residents of Crime Alley, heroes and villains.
Danny loves Gotham. And he likes local jokes about how if one of their supervillains ever took power enough to threaten the government, he would be obliged to release them from that citizenship. Otherwise, he would be shamed and ridiculed by the inhabitants.
Phantom is not a villain. But for Gotham? For their common purpose? He is ready to pretend to be.
~ A ghost can bring his city ~ Great honor in one way ~
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Gothamites remember that the child of mad scientists was the only person Boy Wonder was willing to call a friend. They remember how boys' laughter was heard from rooftops and from alleys on particularly dark nights. And they know whose restless spirit has returned to mourn the death of the second Robin.
The boy’s parents must be fools. Many outsiders are. They call their blessing a curse. People die in Gotham. And not all of them come back. Residents know that these ones are chosen by Lady Gotham herself.
The public enemy of Amity Park number 1? What nonsense. He is not theirs anything! In Gotham they will accept the Phantom as a guard, as a silent shadow, as a villain or a hero. In any kind. Because he belongs here. He should be part of their dance between life and death. He should be amidst dark alleys and acid rains, gliding between fear and laughter in the air.
Even local villains experience strange yearning. Like something’s wrong. Like a piece of a puzzle that’s lost. Therefore, the local abandoned observatory is empty, and none of them is in a hurry to call it their territory. Because it will be in demand, it will be loved and needed. It’s only a matter of time.
Let the spirit of Gotham guide you home, child. Dead gothamite is still gothamite. Which means there will always be a place for you.
~~~~~
When Danny first enters his favorite cafe in his Phantom form and with a wound on his leg, he doesn’t expect a cleaning lady to yell at him immediately for the blood on the floor. With a mop in his hands and with already bandaged leg, Danny feels as if all his worries had gone. They are not afraid of him. Of course. No one in Gotham would avoid him because of glowing eyes and sharp teeth. And that’s nice.
The waitress throws a tray of food on a table next to him: Welcome dinner for the wandering son of the alley. Red Hood said it's your usual order. He’ll be waiting for you on the gargoyle. You should know which one.
~~~~
If parents listened to his childhood stories about good ghosts, they would know that the Phantom is not special. He is not an anomaly of ghost nature and not a mistake. He is one of many who always were and will be defenders of the city. Danny stands in front of the costume that he admired years ago. He's ready to take another shift at work. The remains of his colleagues can rest quietly this night. Lady will wake them only when in dire need.
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watchmegetobsessed · 4 months
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NOW AND FOREVER
A/N: i am a sucker for this trope and i feel like it has the right to be the last one of the year. thank you for sticking with me in 2023, i know it wasn't smooth sailing writing wise and i can't promise anything for next year, but lets all hope for the best. happy new year babes and have a blast tonight!✨
WORD COUNT: 2k
PAIRING: princess!reader x guard!harry
SUMMARY: New Year's Eve is spent with princess duties, but it's even more torturous than usually, because the person you want to be with is in the room as well. And he also happens to be your guard.
MASTERLIST | SUPPORT ME!
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The man in front of you is talking… and talking… and still talking, but you have absolutely no idea what he is saying. Maybe he is talking about his latest ski trip. Or his father’s business? No, it might be his ridiculously ugly watch that cost a fortune.
Whatever it is, you couldn’t care less, yet you mastered your polite but blank smile so well that he doesn’t realize you give zero fucks about him.
Fuck, you’re too good. But it’s no surprise, you had all your life to learn your ways to be the best version of yourself even at times your mind is miles away. Tonight however, it’s not that far away, only on the other side of the room where one particular man resides in his black, perfectly tailored suit and irresistible curls, his piercing green eyes relentlessly examining the room. 
Harry has been your personal guard for three years and it’s safe to say that you’d gladly put your life in his hands, he’s been through so much with you, breaking through protesting crowds, hiding from paparazzi after your cousin’s scandal, attempted break-ins and threatening mails, promising to have you dead in no time. Harry has been the person who protected you physically all while being your rock mentally and emotionally as well. 
You knew from the beginning that falling for him was inevitable, but you never knew he would ever give in and openly reciprocate your feelings. Well, openly as in between you and him, behind closed doors where it’s just the two of you. You both know no one can know about what’s going on between the two of you, because he would not only be removed from your security team immediately, but your relationship could be an opportunity to those who want to harm you. 
You never wished to not be born as the heir to the throne more than the night you heard him confess his love for you after a man tried to attack you at a public appearance. You were convinced Harry would blame himself for it, because the man somehow got through a security check with an airgun in his backpack and even though he couldn’t have killed you with that, he could have easily caused some serious injuries. You were expecting Harry to be beating himself up for all of it even though he wasn’t in charge of checking the audience, but to your biggest surprise, he confessed his love for you in your bedroom that evening and you knew there was no going back from there. 
Now it has been five months since then and you’ve kept it hidden so well, no one is suspecting a thing. But there are times when you wish you could just openly walk up to him and kiss him, have him lock you in his strong arms and never let you go. 
Like tonight, at the palace’s New Year’s Eve party that’s definitely not a party to you, rather than another night of princess duties. 
“Princess? What do you think?” The man in front of you snaps you out of your thoughts and you tear your eyes off of Harry and back to him.
“Sorry?”
“Would you like to have another drink and then maybe dance?”
The smile on his face tells you he is trying to chat you up and possibly marry into the royal family, but even if your heart wasn’t in Harry’s hands, he would stand no chance. 
“Thank you, but I think I’ll go and refresh myself. Enjoy the evening!”
You nod your head at him respectfully before walking away, straight to Harry. His eyes spot you in the crowd fast, as if there was a magnet pulling him towards you. His face remains still, at least to everyone in the room, but not to you, you immediately notice how the right corner of his mouth turns the slightest bit upwards. 
“Princess?” he nods as you finally reach him.
“I want to refresh myself. Can we go back to my suite?”
“Of course.” Reaching up he gives a quick order through his earpiece to the rest of the security team before escorting you out of the room.
You walk side by side silently, the clicking of your heels echoing in the never ending hallways until you finally reach your suite. You walk in and Harry follows, closing the door behind him and planting himself in front of it as always. With a grunt you kick your heels off and let your feet rest a bit and turning around your gaze finds his. 
“How is the party?” he asks.
“Boring,” you shrug, slowly sulking closer to him. “Lots of people I don’t want to talk to but I have to.”
“I’m sorry,” he replies, his eyes glued to your face as you finally stop only an inch away from him. You don’t kiss him just yet, just tease him by running your hands up his chest to the base of his neck. Without your heels you need to push up to your tiptoes to lessen the distance between the two of you, your nose already brushing against his, but before your lips could meet, you stop and look into his eyes. You want him to make the final move. 
It doesn’t take him long. His hands grab onto your waist and he pulls you against him right before taking your lips in a hungry frenzy. 
If there’s one good thing about hiding your relationship it’s the build up between each stolen little moment. Sometimes you have to go days without even touching each other so when you finally have a moment of privacy you practically devour each other. 
You’ve always known Harry to keep his cool in every situation and not let his feelings and thoughts show, but when it’s just the two of you, he bares his soul to you and you can’t get enough of this side of him that’s only known to you.
The way his fingers dig into your flesh, how his body wraps around you and his lips become one with yours, the little grunts he lets out and the burning warmth you feel radiating from him, it’s so addicting, you have no idea how you could go for so long without experiencing this. 
He turns the two of you around and he pushes you against the wall, the impact makes you moan into his mouth and you pull a leg up, the slit of your dress baring your naked thigh as you hook your leg behind him, his hand immediately sliding beneath the fabric. Your hands are tangled in his hair, pulling and tugging as he kisses down your neck, gently biting the soft skin on your exposed collarbone, making sure he leaves no mark. 
You get lost in the moment, ready to take it further and to your bed, but then Harry slows down and comes to a halt, regulating his breathing before reaching to his ear and you know someone called for him through the earpiece. 
“Will be back in five,” he answers to whoever is on the other end and you swallow back a whine that you were interrupted so quickly. “Your father is looking for you,” he whispers, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. 
“Couldn’t you have said at least ten minutes?”
“It takes three to walk back and we need to get you look like nothing happened,” he smiles as he slowly lets go of your leg, taking a small step away from you.
“Yeah. If you said ten we would have had seven minutes for ourselves, two minutes to freshen up, three minutes to walk back.”
“That’s twelve minutes,” he smirks at you in a way that makes you clench your legs.
“I know, but they would have only sent someone after us if we didn’t arrive in thirteen,” you answer cockily, knowing the security rules as thoroughly as a guard on the team. 
“You have one minute now,” he chuckles, nodding towards the bathroom and you flash him a pout but obey. 
In exactly five minutes you’re back to the ballroom and no one suspects a thing. Harry returns to his spot and you find your father. 
You count down the last ten seconds on the balcony watching over the hills behind the palace, there’s fireworks and you’re drinking champagne, kissing your father’s cheek to greet the new year, but in the midst of all the celebration your eyes find the only person you’d want to be with right now. 
Harry’s eyes are already glued to you and even without words you know you’re thinking about the same thing. You give him a bitter smile and he nods his head before someone taps your shoulder to wish you a happy new year, breaking your silent moment with your lover. 
It’s past three am when you’re in your suite, getting ready to go to bed. The dress you wore is now discarded on the floor of your bathroom, your makeup is gone and your heels are put away. You’re just about to get into bed when there’s a knock on the door.
“Come in!” you call out and somehow you already know who it is. 
Harry walks in and closes the door behind him, stopping there for a second before slowly walking further inside. 
“Everything alright?” he asks and you know it has two sides. As your guard he wants to know there’s nothing out of ordinary and on the other hand, he is checking in on you as the man who loves you.
“I’m good,” you smile as you watch him walk up to you, his hands moving to your hips in a familiar movement. You curl your arms around his neck and close your eyes as he rests his forehead against yours. “I wish we could be alone at midnight,” you whisper. “I never had a kiss at midnight before.”
“Never?” he asks, pulling his head back, making you open your eyes as you shake your head. 
He runs his tongue over his lips, looking around as if he is looking for something and then his gaze stills on something. His arms fall from around you and he steps to your night stand, grabbing the old school alarm clock. You don’t see what he is doing with it so you walk closer and when he sets it down you realize he just set it back so it reads one minute to midnight. 
“Come here then,” he softly says as he pulls you back into his arms and you melt into his embrace as you look at him. 
A tear rolls down your cheek and reaching up he catches it with his thumb. He doesn’t question why you’re crying, because  he knows. Because he can feel the bittersweetness of the moment as well. Finding the person you want to spend your life with, but having to sneak around and hide from the rest of the world, it’s such a torturous feeling. 
And just as the clock hits midnight, again, your lips meet his and that kiss means everything and beyond to you both. His arms tighten around you and for a moment it feels like time has stopped and you can finally be who you want to be, with Harry.
But time never stops and you both know he can’t be in here for too long. So slowly, he pulls back, but not before saying the words you love to hear the most from him.
“I love you, now and forever.” 
This is what he said that night he confessed his love for you and it’s just as magical as the first time. 
“I love you too,” you smile at him tiredly and he presses one last short kiss to your lips before walking over to the door. He looks back once more and you notice his eyes are teary as well before he steps out and the door closes behind him. 
Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!
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j4gm · 7 months
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SPOILERS!!! REFERENCES AND EASTER EGGS IN F&C ep. 10: CHEERS
The finale!
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Pawn Swan! This was another character who first appeared in Steve Wolfhard's post-finale loredump about the 1000+ world. I never expected to actually see him in the show.
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Nuts how this is like the third time we've seen Simon's ass. I love how Shermy is just chilling and playing video games while GOLB lets this random old man take a turn at the wheel.
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This establishing shot of Fionnaworld shows that it's very small. By the time it is restored at the end of the episode, this ominous white border is gone and there are more buildings, implying that it became a complete world.
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I can't believe Gary was thirsting after Scarab in this situation.
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There is a shop called Evergree Flowers; likely a reference to the episode Evergreen.
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This shop window advertises that you can learn to kick bugs. Appropriately enough, Cake kicks Scarab through this shop window while in her Godzilla form.
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The Betty statue has become GOLBetty.
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It should be clear by this point that Casper and Nova are a parallel to Simon and Betty, with all of their decisions being made by Casper with little consideration for Nova due to their unbalanced power dynamic. This is why Simon realises that he should have been more considerate of Betty's dreams, rather than single-mindedly chasing the Enchiridion and the crown.
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The credits confirm that genderswapped Ash is named Ashley. I wonder what happened to her after she fell into the void. Probably nothing good.
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Poor Marshall never gets to finish his songs. Truly he is the genderswapped Marceline.
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The name "GOLBetty" is now canon; Simon uses it in this scene.
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I'm not sure what's happening to GOLBetty here. A loose thread to pick up if this story ever gets a continuation, perhaps.
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Simon steps through several different universes, including all the ones we saw during this miniseries. I'm not sure what this world full of tiny bears is meant to be.
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Some kind of industrial capitalist hell universe.
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This is the Water Park Prank artstyle, implying that Water Park Prank takes place in a separate but canon universe. So Water Park Prank is now canonically canonical! (what a ridiculous phrase)
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Some kind of Jake universe.
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A universe featuring Magwood and his volcano lair, from the episode Evergreen.
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The snail! It's not dead after all. And it's a great way of symbolising a return to regular Ooo, as is the reappearance of the smiley butterfly.
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This was a strange selection of characters. I hope Jay hasn't left his younger siblings on their own if their dad is dead. At least baby Finn won't have to grow up in Vampworld, though part of me liked imagining what that would have been like.
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Fionna mentions that his is her top fantasy. The other two of her top three fantasies were Cake being able to talk and a kingdom made of candy.
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She gets a hammer, like she had in the dream sequence at the very beginning of the miniseries.
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Kheirosiphon goes back to working in a teashop, just like he did on The Drift before he was imprisoned by Scarab. Also Marshall's outfit here is incredibly gay, it's great.
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There is an ad here for a daddy issues themed comedy night. Sounds like Marceline's kind of place.
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Prismo's face glitches for a second. Ominous.
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Simon definitely needs to move out. This is probably an even more important realisation than coming to understand his influence over Betty.
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In the credits of this episode, Simon is finally at peace.
And with that, the miniseries is over! Back to the long wait. Will this be it for Adventure Time? Or is there yet more to come...
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polakina · 1 month
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how they fuck you
red dead redemption headcanons #2
hc masterlist // masterlist
on my third playthrough of rdr2 and i cannot bring myself to play low honour. why do i put myself through this?
also this is ridiculously long, got a little carried away but i shall not apologise
rating: explicit
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is always gentle with you at first
delicate touches, lingering kisses, gazing eyes at your every movement or ministration
"what do you want, mi amor? tell me"
loves to hear you beg for him, want him
it just turns him on even more
dirty talk through the ROOF
this man knows how to talk you through it
"fuck you feel amazing, hermosa. yeah, just like that, huh? anything for you"
will eat you out for days if he could
never really tried it before, even when he lived in Mexico, he never really gave it a go
but with you, he wanted to try everything. whatever you wanted, he was up for it
so when you first asked him, he was nervous as hell, but willing to try
he found out he loved it and does it every single fucking time he had you all to himself
buries himself between your thighs like a man starved, his arms wrapped tightly around your thighs to keep you still
his tongue worked fucking wonders on your pussy, knowing exactly where to focus his attention, loving how you always moaned a little softer when his tongue dipped inside your cunt
fucks you slow, savouring the moment when he can
loves to have you riding him. seeing you on top spurs something inside him
his hands grip your waist fiercely, guiding your hips to grind against him, pulling sweet, elicit moans from your throat
loves to cut your clothes from your body with his knife
it's so much more satisfying than just taking them off with his hands
kinda likes quickies. prefers taking his time but there's something about pulling you away for a few minutes to have his way with you behind the protection of a tree or something that he loves
usually happens out on missions, so there's risk of the gang seeing you guys, but what's life without a little risk?
you could be on watch beside your tent while everyone sleeps, and javier will come over to keep you company
but it doesn't take long for his hand to slip into your pants as he whispers all sorts of things in your ear as he sits behind you while you try and continue your watch duty
was terrible at aftercare before, never really understood the in's and out's of it
but learned eventually with you, when you explained it to him
now he's at your beck and call whenever you need it
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wear this man's hat around camp and that's all he needs to pull you to a secluded tent
but wear it while you fuck him? arthur would die happy in that exact moment
likes to call you 'cowgirl' when you ride him. you always roll your eyes at how stupid it sounds, but it doesn't stop him
the two of you don't have all the time in the world. being one of dutch's most trusted members, he's needed away from camp a lot more than anyone else
so you've both learned the art of being fast
and it doesn't take long for him to make you cum
never asks for them, but loves blowjobs
he likes to draw in his tent when he's got time to himself, so when he sees you come in and sink to your knees in between his lap, he can't think of a better sight
the absolute king of praises (have you heard how he talks to his horse?? imagine him talking to a woman oml)
not a fan of degrading, he never saw the appeal, but uses other methods to 'punish' you
"what do you want, darlin?" he'd say as he's fucking you from behind, your face pressed into the pillow to stifle your moans, your ass in the air held up by his hands on your hips. "oh babygirl, you wanna cum, huh? then you can beg me for it, can't you?"
will edge you for days
especially when he knows he's going to be away for a few days afterwards
definitely grabs the headboard
mainly for his own stability to be able to thrust into you harder as you moan his name into the room
has his hands on you at all times
holding your hands above your head by your wrists, holding your face against the mattress with his hand on the back of your neck, curling his fingers in your hair and gently yanking your head back when he pounds into you
when you do get a night away from camp, he wants to make it last the whole night
takes his time with you to the point where he's practically teasing you for hours
takes his time undressing you, kissing every part of your body, touching every part of you until his fingerprints were practically imprinted into your skin
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give this man some guidance or it's like walking through a maze blindfolded
learned a lot with you
figured out really quick what you liked and what you didn't like, what places he could touch you that would send your head spinning
this eventually led him to learn how to be very sneaky in public
he could touch you in such simple places, in such an innocent way that no one else would think anything of it
but you'd know, and you wouldn't stop it
you like the way he touched your neck? he was all over that shit, cupping your cheek, his fingers tickling your neck
you liked his hands in your hair? his fingers tangled at the base of your neck, pulling your hair slightly to tease you
his hand would rest on your thighs, fingers slowly creeping up your thigh while you were all sat around the campfire
you'd always give him a little glare, which he would ignore, a goofy smirk on his face
and the way he fucked you was no different
he had mastered the art of teasing your body and your limits, and put that knowledge in every time he had you alone
"come on, marston. stop teasin' me like this"
he'd always smirk, working his way down your body in a painfully slowly manner
"i'm takin' my time with you, sweetheart. you just lay back and relax. lemme take care of you"
loved to make you feel good before he even thought about himself
but when he was too pent up, he came a lot quicker than he wanted
but he made up for it when tending to you afterwards until you were practically pushing him away, too sensitive for his expert fingers
not the best at going down on you, but makes up with experience
but what he's really good with is his hands
his fingers
they know exactly what they're doing when he pushes them inside your soaked pussy
curling at that devastating spot inside you that makes you crumble to your knees
loves to be on top of you, seeing your face contort when he pushes inside you slowly, deeply
he's basic, a lover of missionary, but seeing your face and watching your body writhe under his grip is really what turns him on
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lightbluetown · 6 months
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i saw some people say ed and zheng are master strategists while stede is just some guy with ridiculous luck, but i think that's unfair. sure stede's ideas are insane, but they fit the looney tunes ass universe of ofmd perfectly. they're mostly well-thought-out, well-executed and they showcase stede's strengths and growth! so allow me to talk about them:
1- ghost of the forest - 1x02
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a fuckery™ before stede even knows what a fuckery™ is! this is amateurish and stupid in every way. he's not even threatening izzy with a real dagger-- that's a letter opener. does izzy actually believe that stede has a huge crew hiding behind the bushes? doubt it! but this weird little act is enough to establish stede as a (ridiculous) pirate figure to the legendary izzy hands and to accomplish his goal of taking a hostage back
2- lighthouse - 1x04
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imagine coming up with the exact same idea at the exact same time as the most brilliant tactician of the seven seas! we don't know who came up with which parts of the plan (honestly it was probably mostly ed) but this is still bloody impressive
3- stark revelations - 1x05
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stede's first big success! he uses his knowledge of the aristocratic world to get a shipful of rich assholes to destroy each other, but he's also showcasing what sets him apart from them: this plan only comes to fruition because stede talks to frenchie, olu and abshir as equals. as people he can learn from, as sources of inspiration
4- duel with izzy - 1x06
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this one was absolutely unhinged, but its success was far from dumb luck. only stede could think of using a brazillian cherry wood mast and ed's weird stabbing lesson to win a duel, and that's what makes this plan so undeniably stede and brilliant
5- faking his death - 1x10
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i love that he just had to "die" in the most dramatic way possible. a heroic fight (tiger), a realistic accident (carriage) and the most cartoony death in the book (piano)... not only is his triple-death able to convince everyone in barbados that he's dead for good, it also allows him to have closure with his family. it's filled with stede's ridiculous unique flair, but it's designed to be a fuckery™ through and through. ed would be SO proud
6- stealing jackie's indigo dye - 2x01
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quick little stealth mission. did ricky manipulate stede into trying this out? sure. did ricky also ruin it? absolutely. but it was working until then! the swede isn't part of stede's crew at this point, but his respect for stede is what gets him to cooperate and risk his relationship with his beautiful wife. also, it's thanks to his love for fine things that stede immediately recognizes the value of "blue dirt"
7- prison break - 2x03
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in my eyes no scene depicts stede's growth better than this one. knocking zheng's entire crew out with tea is the most stede thing out there, and this plan uses the cherry wood mast as well! this plan relies on stede's (unrealistic) tea knowledge, overly-fancy ship and ability to coordinate his crew. what makes it breathtaking is that he secretly sets this plan into motion while actively mourning the "death" of the love of his life. he's putting his life on the line to rescue ed's "killers" because he's emotionally mature enough to look at things from their perspective and forgive them
8- inciting a mutiny - 2x06
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yet another brilliant plan that could only be executed by stede. this entire episode revolves around his idea of "turning poison into positivity" and here he, well, fights poison with positivity. stede captains his pirates with respect and care (best he can) which just so happens to be the opposite of ned. he exploits this and gently gets ned's crew to turn on him. he singlehandedly saves himself and his entire crew from a notorious pirate! oh he also literally invents walking the plank right after this
9- "it's only suicide if we die" - 2x08
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okay, yes, this one didn't go that well (sorry iz). but it's not like ed, zheng or anyone else had any other ideas! stede's weird suicide mission, for the most part, worked. they needed to get through british soldiers to reach their ship and they did exactly that. if only they'd remembered to check if ricky had his gun... oh well, you live and you learn
sure, ed and zheng are legends and stede is a silly newbie with wild luck. but he's also quick-witted, creative, confident and brave! he's a damn good captain and he deserves to be recognized as a good strategist!
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pastanest · 9 months
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Spencer Reid x she/her!reader
A/N: why is it so difficult to find high quality post-prison reid fbi vest gifs like I thought we were all sluts out here but Ig not
gif creds: @imagining-in-the-margins
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Duality Of Man
Spencer Reid had never really considered himself to be a reckless man. He had always been a calculated, well thought out, methodical follower of the rules, for fear of being ridiculed further for breaking societal rules beyond the ones he couldn’t help via his neurodivergence. He enjoyed rules. Learning the rules of people, of their behavior, and of various board games that challenged his intellect, were some of his favorite pastimes, actually.
Spencer also would not have regarded himself as a particularly possessive or territorial person, prior to spending three months behind bars. They isolated him, kept him locked in a space with people that wanted him dead, like an animal raised in captivity being thrown into a cage of wild lions. Having nothing of his own changed the way in which Spencer viewed the world around him, once he was allowed to step back into it.
Yours had been the first face he had seen when he had set foot beyond the prison walls on the day of his release, and the moment he felt you return to his embrace, in a gesture the two of you had engaged in countless times, a form of physical contact that he was most comfortable sharing with you; Spencer felt that something was different. In a way that he didn’t quite understand, you were his, beyond the platonic confines he had previously forced over his own feelings for you. He was not overbearing and had never overstepped your boundaries, but he was more outwardly protective of you than anyone else.
It had only presented itself in small gestures and words: moving to stand slightly in front of you in any kind of tense situation to act as your human shield, checking in with you at every stage of the cases you worked together, prioritizing your safety over his, and, naturally being the first one to object when you volunteered to go undercover to seduce an unsub into revealing information.
“Absolutely not.” Spencer had uttered from where he sat beside you at the round table, shaking his head.
And you had rolled your eyes at him. “I’ll be fine, Spence, I can handle myself.”
He couldn’t argue with that, he had seen you stare down men twice your size on several occasions, which always made him smirk. Still, Spencer could not hide the sick feeling that twisted in his gut at the thought of you going undercover, and being in danger.
As he had often found, the feeling in Spencer’s gut had been right. The unsub had been clever enough to deduce that you were a deliberate victim, not one of happenstance, and as such, he took you to a second location, which he had not done with his previous victims.
Given it was not his usual mode of operation and he had acted on instinct, the unsub’s play was an amateur move; comparable to what Spencer was certain Gideon thought in their first chess games together, so many years prior. As clever as the ubsub had been in figuring out you were not who you said you were, he was not intelligent enough to outsmart the one man army of Doctor Spencer Reid when fuelled by a fire that he had never felt burning in him before. It took less than a day for the team of profilers to find the warehouse you were being kept in, and less than a minute for Spencer to completely disregard their carefully orchestrated plan to rescue an FBI agent with the regulated SWAT team.
He didn’t need a team behind him for this.
He would handle this bastard himself.
With a kick that Spencer was sure Derek Morgan would be proud of, the door to the warehouse was made obsolete. Gun and torch raised, Spencer stalked the dark warehouse, checking dusty room after dusty room, eagle eyes scanning every corner, until a figure dared step out of the shadows in front of him. Anyone foolish enough to make themselves a physical blockade that kept Spencer from getting to you was a waste of oxygen.
“So, you’re the one she’s convinced is coming to save her.” The unsub taunted, chuckling darkly as he raised his arms out to his side cockily. “C’mon then, show me what you’ve got. No weapons, just you and me, man to man.”
As if to prove the authenticity of his own words, he discarded his usual weapon of choice, the blade clattering against the warehouse floor.
Spencer eyed him like a wild lion in a cage, and he almost smirked at the irony, but kept his expression calm and collected. He glanced at the doorway of the dark room they stood in, knowing that protocols would advise him to call for assistance, to make the arrest with as little physical harm as possible. But when Spencer’s eyes gravitated back to the subject who was now very much known to him, his target was in his sights.
An icy glare stayed fixed on the man that took you as the sound of a torch and gun hitting the ground echoed through the otherwise empty room. The air was thick as Spencer unclipped his FBI bulletproof vest and tossed that to the ground, too. And with no sense of urgency, he popped the cufflinks of his shirt and rolled his long sleeves up to his elbows.
An invitation to beat the life out of someone that took you? Hurt you? It must be Christmas.
Spencer’s expression was unmoving, and he didn’t say a word. Finally, after a childhood spent as a victim of merciless bullying and a portion of his adulthood fearing the judgment and cruelty of others, Spencer Reid was confident in his ability to end a physical confrontation with his own two fists.
In three large strides, he was face to face with the egotist, who swung at him, pathetically, and predictably enough for Spencer to not only swerve out of the way, but reciprocate the gesture tenfold. A solid right hook spun the idiot’s jaw and sent him stumbling, but Spencer was far from finished. He stalked over to him and in a matter of steps, had grabbed his target by his shirt collar and forced him against the wall. The fool was still reeling from Spencer’s punch, a dazed look in his eyes and blood dripping from his split lip.
“Did you touch her?”
Spencer’s words were eerily quiet, barely above a whisper, but in the silence of the warehouse they reverberated against every wall. He had a feeling that he already knew the answer, but he needed to hear it, he had to be sure his next actions would be justified.
His vision clearing, the man fool enough to take you smirked up at Spencer.
“(Y/N) looks real pretty when she cries, doesn’t she?”
He chose to answer Spencer’s question with a rhetorical question that immediately decided his fate.
In a fraction of a second, Spencer threw his target to the ground and pounced on him, vision clouded with red as he landed punch after punch, until the ground looked just as red to everybody else. If three months in prison had taught Spencer Reid anything, it wasn’t just how to fight, it was how to fight dirty.
He only stopped when the physical barrier sputtered for breath, and that was only because Spencer didn’t want to get thrown back into a cell. Catching his breath, Spencer lifted his gaze and scanned the room around him again.
“Spencer?!”
And he was stood, his rage an afterthought as he followed the weak sound of your voice, your call to him. In a sea of voices, Spencer could pinpoint yours in an instant. Having heard commotion, you had assumed it was him, coming to your rescue, like you always knew he would.
He found you in the next room, bruised and bloody, tied to a chair and covered in torn clothes with cuts beneath them that reassured Spencer the blood dripping from his knuckles was beyond worth it.
The look in his eyes was so soft as he ran to you and crouched in front of you, kissing your forehead as he tore the ropes from you with no regard for the burns he may get on his already bloody hands.
Finally free, you collapsed into Spencer’s arms, and he released the breath he’d been holding since you’d been taken, closing his eyes as he held you tightly against him, standing up and helping you to your feet in turn. The weight of the trauma you carried made your legs shake beneath you, but Spencer was there to hold you steady, he would always be there. He held your face in his hands and gave you the softest smile you’d ever seen, his thumbs ever so gently caressing your cheeks.
It took you a second to come to terms with your surroundings and your rescue, but as soon as you had, your eyes widened and you took Spencer’s hands in yours.
“You’re hurt.” You murmured, tears shining in your eyes as you held his bloody knuckles with such tenderness, he was surprised he could feel it after the aggression his hands had just been subjected to, but he would always be able to feel you.
Spencer almost chuckled in disbelief as you - in your beaten, bloody and traumatized state - became upset over a little blood on his hands. Well, maybe it was more than a little…
“Adrenaline, (Y/N), I can’t feel a thing.” Spencer reassured you in a soft voice, holding your face in his hands again and placing the lightest kiss on your nose. “But we need to get you to a doctor.”
The moment he said it, the rest of the team filtered into the room, having passed the sputtering suspect and Spencer’s discarded bulletproof vest on their way.
The look on Emily’s face told Spencer he would have several unpleasant reports to fill out regarding how he’d handled this case, but when he stared into your eyes and saw the stars in them, he knew he’d do it all again a hundred times if you were waiting on the other side for him.
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leighsartworks216 · 6 months
Note
can i request a tav x astarion where tav is mute? i wonder how they would be communicating
Astarion x gn!Tav/Reader
I really struggled with this request, but I decided to try again on a whim and whoooo boy it's a doozy. I also did not make Tav mute, but I played with a Paladin oath I have had on my mind for a looong time so they are effectively mute
Warnings: fear of death, blood, mentions of death/dead bodies, religion, anxiety, fear, being trapped, crying, swearing, angst, hurt/little comfort, possibly OOC
Word Count: 3,624
Main Masterlist
First Baldur's Gate 3 Masterlist - Second Baldur's Gate 3 Masterlist
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You huff in annoyance for the fifth- no, sixth, time. Perhaps more. The vendor stares at you as though you’re insane, even though you couldn’t possibly be clearer! You exaggerate further, pointing at the potion, yourself, and your coin purse. If he would just mark how much the damn thing cost, you wouldn’t have to keep going through this!
Astarion sighs sharply. “They want to buy the potion,” he bemoans. “Now, please, tell them the price so we can move on.”
The vendor starts with wide eyes and realization on his face. He flushes from his cheeks, down his neck, and to the tips of his ears as he stutters out the price. You shove the money into his chest and grab what you’ve paid for, before stomping off. And if Astarion slipped an extra something in his pocket while the vendor was dying of his stupidity, who would really care?
He caught up in a few long strides. “We must find a better way for you to communicate, darling. I can’t keep translating for you.”
You made a few sharp gestures.
“I don’t see the big deal in carrying a paper and pencil around,” he answered with a scoff. “Or, you know, you could just speak. I know you can.”
You glared at him. That, he didn’t need a translator for.
This had been an ongoing argument from the very moment you ran into each other on the beach. When he had you pinned to the ground and you didn’t speak, he originally thought you were just being stubborn. When he finally let you go, you’d explained to him (in writing) that you’d made an oath of silence, and that you had nothing to do with the Illithid kidnappings.
Fortunately, you discovered early on that some hand signs were shared with the Theive’s Cant, which he understood quite well. When Gale and Wyll came along, one who’d learned some sign through books and the other who learned by helping people as the Blade of Frontiers, Astarion was relieved he wouldn’t have to translate for you. Except, you continued to drag him along to act as the middle man anyway.
His solution, proposed frequently both seriously and in jest, was to break your oath. An oath of silence was a ridiculous thing to promise anyway, especially now that you needed to communicate so frequently, but any time the suggestion was posed, you’d just level him with a hard stare.
“You know I can’t do that,” you signed, annoyed.
He rolled his eyes. “Ugh, Paladins. So dedicated to the chains that bind them.”
“To break my oath would be to lose my powers. Do you want me to keep reviving your ass during battle or not?”
He sneered. “You couldn’t make an oath of vengeance or something? It would certainly be a lot easier to follow through on.”
You rolled your eyes and walked faster. You hated arguing about your oath. Wyll and Gale wouldn’t behoove you for it - so why did you bring him along, he wonders.
-
Astarion heaved, pressing against a stitch in his side that tightened with each breath. The fight was brutal. Everyone was bloody and exhausted. Shadowheart turned from the dead beast before them to help Wyll who lay prone on the ground. Karlach pulled her mighty axe from its head with a squelch and a crunch, cheering at the victory.
He chuckled breathlessly at her antics. Almost stumbling, he turned in a circle, eyes scanning the battlefield. The beast’s cronies lay still, scattered everywhere. Blood overwhelmed his senses. How did that saying go? Water, water, everywhere, but not a drop to drink.
He frowned. He looked around again. “Where’s Tav?”
Karlach’s whoops quieted immediately. She looked around as well. “They didn’t get crushed under this,” she kicked the creature in the eye, “did they?”
He shook his head. “They weren’t close enough…” He growled, frustrated, and turned to the magic-users. “Did you see where Tav went?”
Shadowheart supported Wyll as he sat up, groaning. They both shook their heads. “Last I saw them, they were over there,” the warlock croaked, nodding over to the side. “But I don’t know how long I’ve been down for.”
Astarion winced as he jogged over to where he said, stepping over and on top of dead bodies. He took another step. His foot did not collide with floor nor flesh. His heart lurched as the world fell out from under him. A hand grabbed the neck his armor and pulled him back, falling on his ass onto solid ground.
“Careful, Fangs!” Karlach chastised worriedly. She let him go, pulling them both to their feet and brushing him off. “You alright?”
His mind was still reeling. He nodded in a daze. All he could do was stare at the nearly-invisible chasm he’d almost fallen down into… And then his mind caught up.
He raced forward again, dopping to his knees right before the tear in the earth, and leaned over it. Even his darkvision couldn’t help him see what was below; it was so dark, like all light that fell into it was swallowed up. A heavy weight settled in his chest.
“Tav?!” he shouted down into the darkness. His voice echoed. He had no idea how deep it went.
The realization set in for Karlach as well. “Oh fuck…”
“Tav, are you down there?!” He waited a moment, but he was met with only silence.
Shadowheart and Wyll rushed over. They peered into the deep with concern. Astarion shifted so he sat on the ground, legs dangling over the edge. He remembered the feeling of falling. Fortunately, he couldn’t see how deep it was, so at least vertigo did not make it seem deeper; the shadow was doing a perfect job of that on its own.
Wyll grabbed his shoulder before he could slide forward. “Astarion, we have no idea how deep it goes, or what’s down there! You could be impaled on a spike before you ever make it to the bottom. We don’t know if they’re even alive!”
“And if they are?” he growled. “They could be trapped down there with no way of telling us.”
“And you’ll be trapped down there if you go after them!”
He couldn’t argue with anything logical. So what if he got stuck down there? He needed to know you were okay. His blunt nails dig into the stone edge, knocking loose flecks of rock and sediment. How could he just leave you down there?
Shadowheart looked around at the bodies. “We could make some rope. Lower it down, see if they grab on.”
He snorted mirthlessly, sneering at the cleric. “And if they’re too injured to?”
She glared back at him. “I don’t see you proposing any better ideas.”
Karlach and Wyll shared a look. It seems they’d have to be the level-headed ones here… “We can strip the bodies. Tie their clothes together until it’s long enough.” To hopefully reach the bottom, was left unsaid.
Karlach and Shadowheart got to work immediately, working to remove the clothes of their fallen enemies, scrunching their noses in disgust all the while. Wyll squeezed Astarion’s shoulder and joined them, trying to decide what clothes were in good enough condition to hold weight. Astarion stared into the pit for a while longer.
-
Your head spun. Everything ached. Each breath was like fire in your lungs. You bit your lip to silence your whimpers, biting down so hard you could taste iron in your mouth.
As the pain ebbs to a manageable level, you try to figure out where you were. It was dark. You couldn’t make out your hand right in front of your face. You couldn’t even be sure your eyes were open. You only knew they were when you looked up and saw light coming from far above you. It was dim and flickering - the flames of the braziers that lined the battlefield.
You blinked into the darkness, willing your eyes to adjust. Cautiously, you reached out your hands and felt around. The ground beneath you was covered in fine gravel, almost like sand. The finer sediment stuck to your hands when you pulled away. There was a wall behind you, possibly made from slate. It would be impossible to climb. With a muffled groan, you’re able to reach your foot out and touch the opposite wall. The effort leaves you panting.
You lay still on the floor for a minute. Clearly, you fell from quite high up. How far was still a mystery, but the fact was you did fall. When you’ve caught your breath, you feel for any injuries. Your armor restricts you, but it seems to have protected you for the most part. You’ll be bruised as hell, but you can’t find any open wounds. At least you were fortunate there.
You look up again. You can’t hear anything coming from above, but you’re unsure if it’s from the depth of the chasm or because the battle is over. You hope they are able to win the fight without you. All your companions are strong in their own right, you know they can pull through this.
You squint at the opening above. You think you see something moving at the top, but it’s merely a speck. Using the wall and gathering your waning strength, you push yourself to your feet. You heave as you lean against the slate. The silhouette is still too far away to make out.
T..av….
A distant cry, distorted heavily by the chasm. It takes a moment for you to recognize it as your name. Your heart leaps in your chest.
… av….. Ar… d..wn… the..re…
You can’t tell who’s calling down to you, but you take faith in the knowledge it must be one of your companions. The beasts wouldn’t know your name. Now you just have to signal them somehow…
You feel around your body for your sword, but the sheath is empty. It must have fallen elsewhere, perhaps only feet away, but you can’t see worth a damn. You try instead to cast a ball of light. It should be easy - it’s a spell you’ve cast a hundred times before. But as you strain to conjure even a spark, you become lightheaded. Your knees buckle, collapsing you back to the gritty floor. You try again, but you can feel your energy being sapped away. Your hand falls weakly to the ground.
You rest your head back against the wall and think. You can’t use your sword to hit the rock and make a sound, or defend yourself if something lurks within the darkness. You can’t cast a light, nor any other spell, lest you fall completely unconscious and make your chances worse. The more options you run out of, the more desperate you become. You try reaching out to their tadpoles, but they must be too far away.
You’re stuck.
A sob chokes you as it forces its way up your throat. Even that is muffled by you, by pure habit at this point. You’ve held your oath for years; you’ve learned how to stay silent even under the worst situations. Now it’s come to bite you in the ass.
You look up at the dim light, blurred through tears. They burn as they just keep coming. Your lip quivers as you quietly gasp for air. You’re going to die down here.
Your last option, you’ve already dismissed before it fully forms. You could break your oath, call up to them, cry out for help with the last of your strength. But to do that would leave you even more helpless than before. To speak was to lose your powers. Your god would rip them away in a heartbeat, until you plead for forgiveness; pray for hours and hours to swear your allegiance and dedication once more.
A slave to the chains that bind you.
But what choice do you have?
You try to catch your breath, slow the hiccups and sobs down until you can fill your lungs with air. You open your mouth, try to form the words, but it comes out as a weak sound, almost a poor facsimile of a donkey’s bray. You haven’t spoken for years, to do so now was an astronomical feat. You feel the burn of your god’s eyes as they watch you actively work to break your oath.
You try to speak again. You form an h sound, but it’s so quiet, it’s hardly enough to be considered speaking. You need to shout. You need to let your friends know you are alive down here. Anxiety grips your heart as you imagine being left down here alone, left to starve to death, or worse.
You swallow. You have to do this. You can do this.
“H..e..lp,” you croak out, a mere whisper. It’s raspy and breathy, but it’s a word. You feel your power being sapped away. You nearly sob again. Your god would abandon you down here. An unfeeling master who only craves loyalty. Astarion was right.
You take another deep breath and try harder. “H-elp..!” It’s still a strained rasp, but you hear it begin to echo off the walls. Louder. It needs to be louder. You cup your hands around your mouth. “Help!” Tears prick at the corners of your eyes at the burning in your throat. “HELP!”
-
Astarion’s hands are raw from tying knots. Karlach will bring him big piles at a time, plopping them down beside him, and he’d add them all onto the already-quite-long rope. It was perhaps 30 feet long by now, but he wasn’t confident it would reach.
Wyll sighed, exhausted. “We’re almost out of clothes, my friend.”
Astarion doesn’t look up, barely paying attention to the warlock enough to tell him to keep working. Calluses on his hands open and turn into blisters. He winces with each knot he pulls tight. But he won’t stop. How can he?
Shadowheart sighs as she pulls the pants off another corpse. She’s seen far more anatomy in one hour than she ever wished to again. Karlach sits down by the pile and pulls the other end of the rope into her lap. She begins working to tie more on.
They work silently, but rather efficiently. In another minute, the rope has grown considerably longer. Blood begins to stain Astarion’s end.
“Fangs, maybe you should take a break.” He shakes his head, frowning as he grabs a robe off the pile. Karlach is about to insist, get Wyll or Shadowheart to take over, when a sound comes from the pit. Astarion drops everything and scrambles over as fast as he can.
He tilts his head, facing his ear down into the depths. And he listens…
H..E..LP!
He immediately shouts down into the hole. “We’re going to get you out!” He rushes back to his feet and to the rope. The others drop their half-naked corpses, and Karlach finishes tying one last knot. They help Astarion drag it over to the pit, all lining up to hold onto the end, though, to be honest, Karlach will be doing most of the heavy lifting. He guides the end over the edge, and hurriedly lowers it down. He wants to throw it in, but he’d rather not throw somebody else over the edge with the sudden weight.
He’s knelt right on the edge, wide eyes staring, searching into the dark. He has no idea how close they are to you, or even if it’s long enough. He hopes your god is merciful enough to play with fate.
“Find the rope!” He shouts down. He hopes his voice is reaching you. “We’ll lift you up!”
It’s too quiet for too long. If his heart still beat, it would be racing faster than a rabbit’s on the run. Dread builds up, heavy and unpleasant, in his chest instead. Did you pass out? Was the rope long enough? Would he have to slide down and carry you back up? What was taking you so damn long?!
He’s a second away from removing his armor to climb down when the rope shifts, being tugged by something down in the darkness. He can only hope it’s you. He scrambles to his feet and gets in front of Karlach, grabs hold of the rope with bloody fingers, and begins pulling you from the pit.
Somehow they manage to work as a unit. He’s scrambling to pull you out as fast as possible, but Karlach manages to get him to slow down. If they could do long pulls, they could drag you out faster with less work. He worries his lip between his teeth. Each knot that slips over the edge adds to his anxiety. He’s waiting for the moment it reaches the end and nothing is there. He can only take solace in the fact he can feel your weight holding on. Gods, he thinks desperately, just keep holding on.
After an eternity of pulling, a hand reaches over the ledge. Karlach makes up for his absence when he lets go and falls to his knees at the edge. He reaches in and wraps his hands under your arms, heaving you up and, finally, back on solid ground. He pulls you solidly into his arms, sliding back away from the edge. He’s sick and tired of chasms.
You’re no longer wearing your armor, and your weapons belt is gone, too. Fine, black dirt sticks to your clothes and hands, and even smears across your face, washed away by a stream of tears. He wipes them away with one hand; he can’t give a damn about the blood he leaves in its place.
“I’ve got you,” he breathes. You sob as fall forward, your head landing solidly against his shoulder. Your whole body trembles and shudders with each cry. He’s disconcerted by the sound of your voice, no longer purposefully muffled. He threads his fingers into your hair, holding you to him. “Shh. I’ve got you. You’re safe, I’ve got you.”
-
If your body ached at the bottom of the pit, now you couldn’t even think about moving. Astarion had carried you as far as he could and then some, until Karlach had to take you from his arms before he dropped you. Even then, he stayed right by her side, watching you anxiously.
Back at camp, Shadowheart healed what she could, but most of her energy was spent during the fight. Haslin took over, but even the best he could do would have you bruised and in pain for the next few days. He went into the woods for ingredients to make a soothing balm.
Wyll helped you drink water, and Gale helped you drink some broth, to hold you over until he could make dinner proper. Lae’zel rifled through your veritable hoard of supplies to find you some suitable armor and weapons, and worked to sharpen and polish them.
When you were finally given the chance to rest, Astarion carried you from your bedroll into his tent, laying you down on his own bedroll. He provided as many pillows as you wished, as many blankets as you could ever ask for. He gathered a bowl of water and a fresh cloth and worked to clean the grime off your face.
You watched blankly, too emotionally and physically exhausted to process much. He passed the cloth over your forehead. It was blessedly cool, but the flash of red that crossed your vision could not be ignored.
Arms like lead, you willed a hand to grab his, stopping him mid-swipe. He winced as you pried the cloth from his hand, where it dropped wetly onto your neck, and ran your thumb along his palm. Blisters and blood covered every inch, skin torn and peeling in places. Without even thinking, you try casting a spell to heal him.
Whereas before, when you tried to cast a spell, you could feel it draining your energy from you, now you just felt nothing. It was like dipping a bucket into a well and coming up empty. There is no more magic within you to fuel a spell. Tears prick at your eyes again.
Astarion sighs, long and low. “You don’t have your magic.”
It takes far too much effort to even shake your head. You take a breath, and through the rasping pain, you speak. “They… took it away when… I called for help…” You swallow thickly. Your voice was foreign to you.
It was foreign to Astarion, too. He could recognize the way you signed, the slight variations of years of experience against Gale’s book-perfect signing or even Wyll’s slower, more purposeful movements. He associated it with you so strongly. To hear you speak was like watching a ventriloquist put on a show.
A bitter feeling took hold within him. Just like all gods, all masters, all people with power to laud over another, you were abandoned in your darkest hour, by someone you spent so long dedicated to. Prayers, offerings at alters, your faithful silence - it would never be enough, not to a god who always craved more.
But now isn’t the time to say I told you so. Gently, he removes his hand from your grasp. Your hand flops back to your side. He takes the cloth from where it rested at your neck, re-wets it, and continues cleaning your face.
He doesn’t say anything as he wipes away your tears, catching them before they have a chance to slide down to your ears. When the sobs choke you, he helps you drink some water. When your sorrow lulls you to sleep, he tucks you in and stays by your side, a faithful argus.
---
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It's literally impossible to read bat fanfiction because it's all based off those ridiculous fanon tropes that spread like crazy and people take as fucking biblical!!!!! Dick was never a jerk to Jason when he was Robin- they got along because Dick is mature as hell and in one retelling- Jason was a jerk to him!! And when he came back as Red Hood he had literally not a single damn reason to treat Dick like shit! Not a damn one! But he did, didn't he? Cause he's the fucking asshole! How dare you make Dick grovel towards that bastard! Dick has only ever tried to help him! Reached out during his Batman run, over and over! Also- Dick never put Jason in Arkham with Joker just a few cells down???? What the fuck! The Joker and all those other fuckers had been broken out of Arkham by Black Mask already for like the whole run??? Jason went to Arkham after losing to Dick, and Gordon put him in there because One he fucking deserved it, Two the literal circumstances?? And at that point!! Arkham was fucking rehabilitated itself!! By Dick!!! Because Bruce had him go undercover there for real, and Dick was actually tortured there before he got out!! So Dick put in the work to get that shit in order to actually help people!!
Dick never chose Damian over Tim- Tim refused to engage with him over his grief, shut him out, and left of his own devices! He never told Dick his suspicions on why Bruce was alive, never! And Tim is not the one to bring Bruce back either, there's a whole team at that point! Dick learns Bruce is alive through tossing his 'dead' body into a pit and the body comes to life as a zombie. Tim didn't tell him shit! Tim is also not a little crybaby- Damian cutting his line was a fucking blip on the page, he was momentarily shocked, that was it! He put Damian on his Hit List, which is why Damian cut his line. And his first attempt at "murder" is just pushing Tim off the dinosaur statue in the cave, he didn't go all assassin on him! Also Dick wasn't even there the first incident and wasn't told about the second incident. Alfred is the one who gave Damian Robin and Dick accepted him because he saw that Damian needed help! He needed guidance! He didn't fucking fire Tim the way Bruce fired him, and fuck all of you for thinking that Tim or Jason or fucking anyone has more right over Robin than Dick Fucking Grayson! He tried to promote Tim and Tim walked off. How dare yall make Dick fucking grovel towards that bastard!!!
Jason did try to kill all three of them!! Why does everyone just gloss over that like what the fuck??? Why does he get a pass for every shitty thing he's done??? "Bad writing" stfu this is the same dude that without hesitation kills random criminals, people who deal drugs, do you know how many random ass people deal drugs??? Jason doesn't give a single shit about being his own type of hero or saving Gotham his own way, nor do the people think of him as their savior!! Are you people fucking delusional?? I saw a post that said citizens would trust Jason over CASS and I cannot Believe the hallucinations yall are seeing???
It is literally downright impossible to find fics about Dick or Damian or Cass or fucking any of them that doesn't include these literal bullshit fanon takes!!! It's impossible!!! This fandom sucks!!!! You don't even need to go buy the comics, all these popular takes have been debunked right here on tumblr!!!! Also Dick can do literally everything!! He's hypercompetent as hell, die mad about it!! Jason doesn't like Wonder Woman???? Where the fuck did that come from??? Wayne Family Adventures is not real!!! Those people could not BE more out of character!!! Look at Bruce for crying out loud!!! Yall know that man ain't act like that!
Edit: leaving this here in case anyone wonders what my hot take is towards this question I was asked: "have you considered tho, that fanon is more fun..."
Well of course fanon is more fun if you're a fan of Jason or Tim. Fanon actively caters towards those two pasty white boys. Fanon actively shits on Dick and Damian though. And for Dick? He literally never did that shit! It is all made up! It's literal character assassination?? But by the fans?? And for Damian? He was 10!!! He grew up as an assassin! He was actively trying to grow with Dick's help! How can yall see him as the bad guy?? And not the literal bad guy, (Jason), and the 17 teen year old who literally fought him back btw, (Tim), like old boy did not act victimized the way you people portray. And Jesus for Cass? Cass is just a prop in fanon. So what exactly about this should be fun to me? Like seriously.
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fanttasttica · 6 months
Text
Your love healed me
Rhysand x reader
You were friends with Rhysand and his Inner circle for nearly a hundred years. He trusted you with paperwork, he discussed ideas with you that he wasn't sure if they were good or bad.. You took your work very seriously and put it before everything else, even before your own safety. When Amartantha invites Rhysand and other High lords to her court, you manage to convince Rhysand to take you with him. That night, you end up being imprisoned for nearly fifty years and after you were freed.. The consequences of all this fell on you.  
warnings: mentions of sexual abuse, depression
words: 2599
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“We don't know what exactly, but Amarantha is planning something big. She invited all the High lords to her court for some celebration and Rhys is going in hope that he will find out something..” You still shook your head, this wasn't surprising at all. “This is ridiculous. It's very dangerous. What if something happened and he would end up all alone? What is he thinking?” You couldn't believe what you were hearing. She sighed and nodded, also not believing what her cousin was thinking.. “Yeah.. he will leave tomorrow morning and return later at night. Hopefully he will find something then..” She came closer and hugged you. “I will go now, had to speak with one of the Priestess about something. Take care..” You tried giving her a small smile, your thoughts already elsewhere, before she disappeared. If only you knew that this was the last time you would see her for almost fifty years.. You would probably never stop hugging her. 
You didn't know how, but you were free. Free.. It was a strange word for you. You have been under the mountain for almost fifty years. After your last conversation with Morrigan, you went straight to Rhysands office and demanded that he take you with him. And after some persuading, he did. That celebration.. didn't go the way you and everyone else thought it would. Amarantha somehow took powers of all High lords and imprisoned them Under the mountain, together with their courts. And that's how your life in hell began. You and Rhys tried to come up with a plan on how to get out of this mess, but you came up with nothing. You learned that he locked your friends in Velaris, so at least they were safe. And because of that he let Amarantha use him as she pleased. She was sick and you couldn't be happier that she was dead now. These years were hard for Rhys, they were hard for you, for everyone. Many lost their loved ones, their friends.. And some lost themselves, that was also your case. You were broken. After a year or so, Amarantha found a job for you. You were forced to be entertainment for her most faithful guards. This was the reason why you began to close yourself before others, you tried to get away from all of it and pretending that this isn't your body and it's not happening to you, was the easiest way. Of course, there was Rhys, who was trying to help you as much as he could, but he was also scared that if someone noticed he was paying you this much attention, your situation would only get worse. He was blaming himself for bringing you with him, although you said to him many times, it wasn't his fault. In the end, you persuaded him. You felt terrible, when you knew he saw you like this.. broken. Most of the time, you were trying to avoid him as everyone else. You started talking less and less, not trying to communicate with anyone. You become allergic to the touches, which was understandable considering what you had to do. The day when you were freed by this human girl - Feyre, you were looking like a ghost and feeling empty. After Feyre woke up, after she survived her death, chaos broke out in the hall. Some fairies were cheering happily, some broke down crying in relief and you.. You were standing here, not moving the muscle until Rhysand found you. “Thanks to the Cauldron.. there you are, darling.” He seemed relieved that he was seeing you, his eyes were watching you with care and happiness. “We should come home. I will winnow us, okay?” He took your silence as yes, grabbed your hand gently and before you could protest, you were standing in the familiar room with four figures looking at you and Rhys in surprise.
The house hadn't changed, not a little bit. Your friends looked exactly like fifty years ago. It looked like you and Rhys were gone for maybe a few days, not half a century. The first person who came to senses was Morrigan, who ran to Rhys and hugged him tightly, as they both broke into tears. You used this as an opportunity to shake off Rhysand's hand which was still holding yours. But you didn't have much time to celebrate, because there was already another person touching and hugging, Cassian. You didn't return the hug, instead you tried to get out of the hug as fast as possible. He of course let you go, looking at you with worry and shock at the same time. Your heart was beating rapidly. “I.. I can't..” Saying the first words in this week, you shook your head. This was too much for you. This attention and touches were making you more uncomfortable than you already were. “Y/N?” Morrigan reached out to you and you stepped back. She gave Rhysand a look, asking for an explanation. Instead of answering her, he started walking towards you. “You don't have to worry anymore, Y/N. You are safe here.. Trust me again, please.” He was pleading with you. Pleading you to let him help you, but how could you let it happen? He had his own trauma he had to deal with, he shouldn't be concentrating on you. “I am okay.. I just have to.. get used to everything again.” And with that, you left the room in a hurry, going directly to your room.
The first day after you returned, you were crying your eyes out. The second day, you were sleeping almost all day and the next few days? You spent staring right in front of you, not having the power to cry, eat or talk. Your friends tried to visit you, they tried to talk with you and get you to eat, but you needed time to heal. Well, you were hoping time will heal you, maybe thanks to some miracle? The truth is, this wasn't helping you at all. You were behaving like you would still be Under the mountain and not in Velaris, with your family, who were very worried about you. This wasn't like every other before. You were dressed in black leggings and white sweater, your unwashed hair was in a messy bun and you were laying in your bed, looking like a zombie, when you heard a knock on your door. “Y/N? It's me..” Rhysand's voice was quiet and filled with sadness. “I am going inside.” He wasn't asking you, he simply told you and maybe it was better, because you would probably send him away. He opened the door and closed them behind him. He was looking better than before. His eyes were still tired, he was also not fully healed, but unlike you, he was stronger. Strong enough to talk about his trauma and to face it. He pulled the chair from your table to your bed and sat on it. “We need to talk.. This.. can't continue. I do not expect you to be happy and to act like nothing happened, but at least need to get me and others in. Slowly and one after the other.” You sighed softly and turned your head at him. How come you are so brave? So strong?” You shook your head. “I really admire you. For what you have done and for how you manage to.. continue after all this.” His expression was soft and he averted his eyes. “I would say we both went through the same thing.. So I know how hard it is. To believe it is really over. To wake up during the night sweaty and scared because you had a nightmare. To.. let each other touch you and start talking, trusting someone else again. But you have to push yourself. You can really try slowly, with me at first and then with Mor for example. She wants to help you, we all want to help you.” You felt the tears building in your eyes, trying to blink them away, but didn't succeed. You sat up with tears now rolling on your face. “I.. I.. am just scared. I am coward.” You whispered and he nodded in understatement. “You are not a coward. What happened to you was awful and many people would be in the same state as you. Just.. Let me help you and try not to push me away.” You looked him in the eye, thinking about it for a second, before nodding in agreement. 
After you decided to give it a try, Rhysand came to your room everyday. Sometimes he brought himself work and some books he thought you would like for you and you would spend time in comfortable silence. When you were in a better mood you two were talking about ordinary things and after some time, when you were more comfortable around him, you started to talk about your trauma. Well, he started first, he wanted to show you that you shouldn't be scared or ashamed to talk about it. Sometimes you cried together and hugged each other. He was the first person you allowed to touch you since your returning home and he was well aware of that, so he always hugged you softly and gave you a chance to pull away anytime you would want. Sometimes, you wouldn't let him go for a few minutes and he was patient with you, gently stroking your back, like now “You really don't mind?” This was a question he heard for a third time today, so he laughed a little. “No, I really don't mind. You are very.. comforting for me too, you know.” You smiled a little and buried your face into his chest. He was so warm, he smelled good and you were welcoming that and also a feeling of safety he was bringing to you. You pulled away after a while and sat on your bed, next to him. “I think.. I think I will ask Mor to visit me tomorrow.” His expression changed, he was pleasantly surprised. “Are you sure? I don't want you to get overwhelmed.” You smile slightly at him. “I am sure. Morrigan can be very chatty, but I really miss her and I am feeling better, so I think I will manage.” Rhysand was scanning your face for any doubts, but could not find any. He took your hand in his. “I will be honest. I am really glad you are feeling better, but I will miss having you only for myself.” You chuckled at this. “And I thought you'd had enough of me at this point.” You pretended to disbelieve and put his hand on his chest, right where he has a heart. “Enough of you? I don't believe it's actually possible.” You raised your eyebrow and grinned at him. “I am going to take it as a challenge.” 
“I am so glad you are feeling better! Maybe it's weird, but I was missing you maybe even more since you came home.” You two were sitting in your room, on your bed and drinking wine together after a dinner she brought you. “Yeah.. I think I understand you. And I am sorry I didn't let you in sooner.” She shook her head. “Don't you dare apologize for it. Never, you got it? What happened wasn't your fault and you managed to recover from it soon.” At this moment, you were happier than you were in the past fifty years. “It's thanks to Rhys.. He helped me a lot. I think more than he knows and when at the same time he has to get used to everything himself.. I don't know how I will ever repay him.” In the end, it wasn't a time that healed you. “You are repaying me just by smiling again.” Of course you knew whose voice it was and it unknowingly made you smile even brighter. Morrigan saw this and stood up. “I will leave you two be alone now. Y/N if you don't mind, I will come tomorrow to visit  you again.” You nodded at her “And bring Cassian and Azriel too. I will never admit it in front of them, because Cassian would never stop teasing me, but I miss them both dearly.” Mor grinned at you as she walked past Rhysand and closed the door behind her. You patted on the bed, on the place, which was occupied by your blonde friend only a few seconds ago. Rhys understood what you were telling him and sat next to you. “I mean it, Y/N. I don't want anything from you as some sort of repayment. Actually.. You also helped me very much.” You narrowed your eyes in confusion. “Really? How so?” You weren't aware about anything special you did for him.”Since the day we started spending more time with each other again, I have been feeling better. It was nice, like in old times. I was also trying to get used to some touches and well with you.. It was more natural than with anyone else. It always felt so good to hold your hand, hug you..” He exhaled and looked you in the eyes. “Although I have to admit to you that I was feeling this way.. for a longer time. Actually I think there wasn't a time I wasn't feeling like this with you. At first I blamed it for a simple crush. And when I finally admitted to myself how I feel, the whole thing with Amarantha had happened. I didn't want to rush you and I am sorry for telling you this right now, because we are both still healing, but I love you. That's why I was so.. distant under the mountain. maybe more than it was necessary. But I couldn't risk Amarantha finding out about it.” Telling you were surprised wouldn't be enough. You were absolutely stunned, watching him with wide eyes and mouth open a little. “Rhys.. I don't know what to say.” You offered you a little smile “You don't have to say anything. I just.. couldn't hold it in me anymore.” You shook your head and took his hand into your. “No. I want to. It just surprised me a lot.” You always liked him, but under the Mountain you realized you love him too. Perhaps that's why you also started to avoid him, not wanting him to find out somehow, because it would only complicate some things and possibly destroy your friendship. Or you thought.. “I love you Rhys. And I am not saying this out of some obligation. I love you for your kindness, patience, for your sense of humor.. For everything.” A big grin appeared on his face and you laughed a little. He took your face into his hand, looking at your lips and then to your eyes, asking for permission you gladly gave him. His kiss was very soft, he was clearly scared a little, not wanting to hurt you in any way. After you pulled away from each other, you both were smiling like fools. “Thank you.” You whispered to him, while he was caressing your cheek. “What for, my darling?” You put your hand on his and kissed his palm. “For your love. Because.. Your love healed me.”
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astrum99 · 3 months
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Surprisingly, human beings are the only creatures that looked into themselves. Movement of a blade sharpened to max, lightning fast, no hesitation. Peeling back skin and draining sinus. Bodies (alive, young), huddled around bodies (dead, damaged), to examine and poke and tear and say “I see, that one is the Inferior Vena Cava”. These abominable actions saves lives. Curiosity and morbidity guided a way of survival, of rescue. Later, the same sentiments, mixed with desperation, guided a way to destruction.
Bearing the remnants of humans, their organs pulsating in its body. A machine. A child of man.
Angels, on the other hand, are made perfect. Healthy body, strong will, and filled with holy light right off the bat. Vicious in battles. No need for learning, little need for healing. The smoothness and perfection of their skin akin to marble and sea glass. All creations pale in their presence. Nothing beats perfection. Certainly not creatures of cold unfeeling metal. Lightless, soulless, running on a fixed program of 0’s and 1’s set by the expired words of self-destroying, world-destroying, rotten images of God. Heretic. Even in their perishment, they set to ruin. Systems that they themselves can no longer escape from. Samsara of endless pain and death.
It is a wonder then, that when the machine finally tear through Gabriel’s helm, he become faintly aware of the things hidden deep inside. The ugly, raw things inside. The things he must have known but were never brave enough to face: the same pulsing gore that pushes through the gaps of his skin is the same as the one in the mankind’s bodies; the wires that prods through the throbbing organs is the same as that runs through the chassis of the machine. His body echos the lesser beings. For a second, he could not distinguish himself from man nor machine. How ridiculous, he thought, it thought. To be of this state. To see his/its image in his/its body. To have his/its strings/wires cut so late. The taste of spectacular freedom at the last millisecond of his/its life.
As the last drop of holy light seeps through his helm to stain the machine’s optics, he recognizes himself as heaven’s machine, and the machine as mankind’s angel. And now they are the same.
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Insp is this post by @sinew-lattice!
thank u for infesting me w brain worms i enjoyed hosting the wiggly thing very much (also pls let me know if u don't like ppl writing/tagging i can always take stuff down:] )
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