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#also this episode was like a shovel to the face also my god
edensbackyard · 1 month
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Tape recorder click sound my beloved
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scoobydoodean · 5 months
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Thinking about 4.05 "Monster Movie" and how the shifter (Lucy) who dresses up as Dracula fixates on Jamie and Dean, casting Jamie as Mina and Dean as Jonathan Harker—Mina's fiance—the righteous hero who, with Van Helsing, saves Mina from Dracula.
The last time we really focused on the POV of a shifter was 1.06, where our shifter was a Dean parallel. This time I think our shifter represents Sam—or rather, the shifter represents Sam’s feelings about his own monsterhood, and the occasional envy he feels toward Dean—Dean who is cast by the envious shifter as righteous hero who "gets the girl" (but not this time, Harker!) In season 4, Dean will be given the title “The righteous man”. The same angels calling him that will call Sam “The boy with the demon blood” and “abomination”.
Opening on the scene where Dean has been dressed in lederhosen and tied up by the shifter:
DEAN looks at a portrait of a woman’s face on the wall which resembles LUCY. DRACULA She is beautiful, no? Bride number three from the first film. She never got the acclaim that she deserved. Which is why I chose her shape, her form, to move among the mortals unnoticed. To listen to the cricket songs of the living. That is when I discovered my bride had been reborn in this century.
The shifter wanted to fit in—to be perceived as normal—so they chose Lucy’s shape. It isn't difficult to connect that desire for normality with Sam's initial desire for normality. But the shifter discovered Mina (Jamie) and then everything changed.
In “Monster Movie”, the shifter initially despaired of their monsterhood, but monster movies gave the shifter a sense of dignity—a taste of power.
DRACULA "Real" is being born this way. Different. "Real" is having your dad call you "monster" -- it's the first time you hear the word. And he tries to beat you to death with a shovel. Everywhere I ran, everywhere I tried to hide, people found me, dragged me out, attacked me. Called me "freak," called me "monster." Then I found them. The great monsters. In their movies, they were strong. They were feared. They were beautiful. And now I am like them. Commanding. Terrifying.
I'm immediately reminded of a speech Sam gives in the previous episode, explaining why he's decided to embrace demonic power (4.04):
SAM I've got demon blood in me, Dean! This disease pumping through my veins, and I can't ever rip it out or scrub it clean! I'm a whole new level of freak! And I'm just trying to take this - this curse... and make something good out of it. Because I have to.
In Dracula, Mina was saved from Dracula at the end of the story by Harker and Van Helsing. Lucy wasn't able to be saved—she was a victim of Dracula’s, who started out a kind, soft hearted woman, but was killed by Dracula and reborn as a monster who fed on children. She was subsequently destroyed by Van Helsing.
In our parallel, I don't think Mina (played by Jamie) parallels a person so much as Mina represents an ideal or desire. Mina represents "getting to be the hero"—Mina represents the capacity for redemption.
What the shifter (and Sam) don't know is that redemption is something Dean is also seeking:
JAMIE That must suck. I mean, you're giving up your life for this terrible... I don't know, responsibility. DEAN Last few years, I started thinking that way, and, uh, it started sort of weighing on me. Of course, that was before... A little while ago, I had this – let’s call it a near-death experience. Very near. JAMIE sits down next to DEAN. DEAN And, uh, when I came to... things were different. My life's been different. I realize that I help people. Not just help them, though. I save them. I guess it's -- it's awesome. It's kind of like a gift... like a mission. Kind of like a... a mission from God.
Dean is on a mission from God—and we as forward-looking viewers who know Dean tortured souls in hell have a better understanding of why Dean ties himself to that mission—as a form of redemption.
Monsters on the other hand... monsters don't get the girl—monsters don't get redemption—monsters don't save the day. Harker and Van Helsing save the day, and Harker (Dean) gets the girl.
DEAN You do realize what happens at the end of every monster movie? DRACULA Ah, but this movie is mine. And in it, the monster wins. The monster gets the girl. And the hero, he’s... electrocuted. And tonight, Jonathan Harker, you will be my hero.
This is, in some sense, our Sam from 4.04 manifesting a win—manifesting becoming the hero through monstrosity. Dean doesn't get to be the hero this time.
SAM Dean, I need her to help me kill Lilith. I know you can't wrap your head around it, but maybe one day you'll understand. I'm the only one who can do this, Dean. DEAN turns back around. DEAN No, you're not the one who's gonna do this. SAM Right, that's right, I forgot. The angels think it's you. DEAN You don't think I can? SAM No. You can't. You're not strong enough. DEAN And who the hell are you? SAM I'm being practical here. I'm doing what needs to be done.
Sam wants Dean to take a back seat. In a sea of motivations for lying and working with Ruby, one of them—most certainly—is that Sam wants to be the hero and wants Dean to not be the hero... and in some sense, this also fits with shifter who tries to force Dean into a role—who insists Dean play the role of Harker... who, while one of the story's heroes, also plays the part of the damsel in distress at various points in Bram Stoker's Dracula.
Crucially though, Sam isn't just represented by Lucy and the shifter in "Monster Movie". Sam is also associated with Van Helsing—or rather—when Sam arrives to free Dean and Jamie, the shifter shouts,
DRACULA You will never be Van Helsing!
This is Sam's despair in the mouth of the shifter. Sam could never be a traditional hero. He's unclean—he could never be a hero like the badass Van Helsing—the closest thing the Dracula novel has to a hunter (knowledgeable, strong, tenacious, clever). Sam could never go on a quest like that.
SAM Knights of the Round Table. Had all of King Arthur's knights, and they were all on the quest for the Holy Grail. And I remember looking at this picture of Sir Galahad, and, and, and he was kneeling, and— and light streaming over his face, and— I remember... thinking, uh, I could never go on a quest like that. Because I'm not clean. I mean, I w— I was just a little kid. You think... maybe I knew? I mean, deep down, that— I had... demon blood in me, and about the evil of it, and that I'm— wasn't pure?
The thing is, Sam is paralleled with the shifter as Lucy (desperation for normality) and as Dracula (despair, reclaiming monstrosity as his own), but Van Helsing is also a part of Sam too. Van Helsing represents Sam's ability to choose his destiny—Sam's ability to choose to be a hero, despite how he's despaired of ever being clean. He just has to realize it's his choice—that life is not a maze he has no choice but to run through. He is not unclean. His destiny is not defined by Azazel's blood.
JAMIE Ever think that maybe you're lonely because you kill people? DRACULA Or I kill people because I’m lonely.
Sam continues through season 4 with this same frame of mind in a sense—not in the sense that he's killing people (though... at one point, he will) but in the sense that his actions are someone else's fault and are out of his control. And yet, the capacity to be Van Helsing and not the monster who despairs remains.
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dude but the whole face family is a mess of mental disorders and shit. At least if you want to nitpick. Australia and Murica are both ADHD, Canada a depressive lil shit, England is autistic and france bipolar as fuck. I'm still figuring out new Zealand so I can make bingo!
What happened to hi hello how are you 🥲
Im fucking kidding lets go
I have many thoughts on this topic. I just wanna say first that i dont really want to talk about specifically what mental disorder or whatnot each of these characters have. I have my personal hc that i keep private just cus ive strayed so far from canon or even the classic hetalia 2014 country stereotyping. They are my blorbos in the purset sense of the word. So, i feel like if i told you “yeahh murica is adhd on legs” i think it would come across as insensitive.
But on the other hand, in the past 2 years that ive been in group therapy on and off, i have come to be comfortable with talking about mental disorders and dont find it as triggering or offensive as i know some people do. Which is also very valid. People deal with things the best they can and when youre in the trenches of ocd, having a weirdo (me ✊😎) say a fictional character is going through it, it might not sit right. So i wanna keep this as non triggering as possible.
As almost everything i hc, this is something I’ve looked over. And i do agree to a point. Alfred is definitely someone who exhibits traits like excessive talking, impulsiveness, interrupting conversations, difficulty focusing at something that he finds little interest in etc etc. He is easily distracted and tends to find certain people boring. But he also does not have time management skills and he does not forget tasks and plans. Could this be adhd? Sure. Does it have to be? Of course not. So i tend to leave it up in the air. Some people might find comfort in interpreting it as adhd and some would rather stay clear. Both viewpoints equally valid.
I truly dont know about Jack or Arthur. Eleanor too. Honestly i dont really try to make up disorders for them. One thing i dislike is the labeling. If someone, even a silly character, does show traits of some disorder, id rather not have it outright mentioned. It can be cristal clear that Matt has a full on depressive episode, but let me figure that one out myself, chief. I am all in favour of making these fuckers complex and give them shit to shovel, but the moment we start throwing mental disorder labels around, i think the focus strays. But again, only my preference. To someone else, its a comfort.
However, as he is my knight of the highest order, my highest ranking babygirl, my worst punching bag: Matt is depressed as shit. He functions but, God, at what cost?
Does he have depression? Probably. Will i ever make a serious post about his depression specifically? Probably not.
Francois though. He has no disorders, no hardships or difficulties. Makes it easier for me to actively and effectively hate. We are currently negotiating a stalemate, as ive, just today, heard Sous le ciel de Paris after forgetting that song existed. Good fucking song tho. Willing to negotiate the terms of Francois’ surrender.
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its-monster-mash · 1 year
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Okay it’s late and I had a very emotional time in the shower so now I’m thinking about personal trauma regarding my mom and I’m thinking about Bo Sinclair and HIS mom and I am a MESS and I think it’s really fascinating from a psychological standpoint so maybe I shouldn’t rant about it on the internet, but I’m going to anyway so BAM. Under the cut for those morbidly curious.
POST WRITING WARNING: That got super incoherent. I am tired and posting anyway. Feel free to pick apart my brain. I am at peace with it. Picking apart my brain is a thing my best friend and I do for sport now tbh.
So long story short, my mom was neglectful at best, and frequently abusive when I was growing up. Like, I ate dog food to stave off hunger pains neglectful and scream at me red faced and nostrils flaring so hard for wetting the bed when I was three that my dad strangled her and that’s why they got a divorce abusive, like, lock me outside until I “Figure it out” when there was a solid BLOCK of ice around the duck enclosure and I broke the shovel trying to chip it away abusive, insist my (former)stepdad is only PLAYING when he beats me and I’m “taking it too far” when I fight back neglectful. (She was on a medication that has since been recalled for causing episodes of violent psychosis and memory loss; she had no idea she was doing any of that—we are on peaceful terms NOW and I no longer blame her; but obviously that doesn’t mean it didn’t effect me VERY badly, I just consider the “mom” from my childhood and my Mom today as two different people)
Anyway, when I was eighteen years old, my mom admitted to me that she never loved me. She told me about how she thought she loved me when I was born, because she didn’t know any better, but that she loved me “the way you love someone else’s baby; like any baby you can just give back” but that she always kind of resented ME for us not having that closeness a mother and daughter “should have”. She said that she didn’t realize until my brother was born(I was nine at the time) what it was supposed to feel like to love your own child. She told me it broke her heart, because she realized she’d spent nine years Not Loving Me and felt like by then it was too late to try to get help and that our relationship was just doomed because she couldn’t love me. (Our relationship only actually improved when my son was born; but the love my mom and I have for each other is definitely Chosen love, more like friends than mother and daughter—though she is a wonderful Grandma)
But like, with that out of the way, Bo Sinclair absolutely breaks my heart because I am INTIMATELY familiar with how it feels to grow up with a mother who does not love you, and who is not impressed with anything you do no matter how hard you try. ESPECIALLY with the “Why can’t you be more like your brother” line in the movie. Like, I 100% know how it feels to grow up watching your sibling be loved while you’re just the burden. (Only, I’m so much older than MY brother, that in our situation I was basically acting as his parent because our mom and his dad were absolutely in no way cut out for the job; so as you can imagine that was…painful).
But like, Bo CLEARLY is still obsessed with trying to prove to his mother even after she’s dead that he’s worthy of her love, and it breaks me because I know from experience how hard it is to accept that you don’t NEED your mother’s love. Being unloved as a child doesn’t mean you can’t ever be loved or that there’s just something about you that people can’t love.
Like GOD Bo is a fucking trash man and literally everything is wrong with him but he did not deserve the childhood that was inflicted upon him.
TLDR: I am normal about Bo Sinclair I am normal about Bo Sinclair I am so fucking NORMAL about Bo Sinclair and also my childhood sucked.
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5ammi90 · 11 months
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911 lone star
Season 4 episode 3
Yay O’Brien. He’s only there cause he’s worried about his nephew. I’m so relieved.
Oh shit toy truck to the face. Nice arm Jacob.
Fuck you, you Detective Grier. I know it’s your fault Carlos ends up taking matters into his own hands. Where is Detective Washington, she actually gives a shit. No you dumbass. She has genuinely let this unsub hurt so many people.
TK didn’t badger her, they had a perfectly fine conversation. Now who doesn’t know how to communicate. Bad Carlos.
Carlos please don’t be stupid. Like please. Well he sounds like a fruit loop. Yeah sure Detective you definitely won’t handle this. It’s a sex doll. Lol. He’s a fruit loop. Okay he’s in therapy apparently this is progress. Damn that’s some A plus acting Nancy. Man this is stupid.
Owen. Please no. Owen. You are so gonna get arrested.
Iris. She stole his phone. This is tense as hell. Carlos. Please clear the area properly.
Shit he woke up. Yay she’s alive. And Carlos is still mad at TK. Yeah you have already classed this as Iris having a breakdown. Fuck you Detective Grier. Just cause she suffer from schizophrenia doesn’t mean she lying. Do your fucking job instead of being a bias asshole.
‘Wasn’t ready yet’ is that because her meds were still in her system or…..
She’s for serious. Also I agree with Carlos this bitch had already made up her mind before they even found Iris. ‘No one came in or out’ which means he’s still in the house. Seriously you had swat with you it would have been easy for them to tear it apart. Searched top to bottom clearly you didn’t if the dude managed to hide right under your nose. Carlos literally finds the hidden door after like five minutes of searching. ONE person. Y’all had like twenty people. If you had actually done your job the dude would have been caught and Carlos wouldn’t be missing. You just put in minimal effort because Iris has a mental illness.
Owen don’t shark him. Just lose gracefully. Owen no. Owen no. Owen please don’t. No. O’Brien stop him please. Stop them. This is gonna end badly. Real badly.
TK no. Don’t be this dumb. No one came out which means he’s still in the house. Oh my god someone call Athena she would have this solved in less than ten minutes. Iris is not making this up. Y’all better apologise to her after this.
Woo that’s some tight security. O’Brien is shooting the gun. This dude thinks he’s the one shooting but he’s not. 🤣🤣🤣🤣. O’Brien just destroyed the target and the dude has finally passed out cold from all the alcohol. Didn’t spill the bottle when he fell, what a proper alcoholic. Please no. Y’all need better passwords. Wow that’s a lot of guns. Owen really parking garage again. Now Owen is getting arrested by the feds. O’Brien!!!!!! Nooooooooo. Please no. Your fault for getting a ‘civilian’ involved. Maybe next time you feds should get a professional.
Carlos is about to get kidnapped doing the work that should already have been done by the swat team. Oh five minutes was being generous home boy found the tunnel in about three. Should have called it in at that point. Dumb move there Carlos. Behind you? Yep shovel to the head.
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kimnjss · 4 years
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how sticky | kth
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⇢ pairing: ot7 x reader // taehyung focus. ⇢ genre: smut. // pwp. ⇢ word count: 7.6K ⇢ theme: established relationships.  ⇢ rating: explicit. ⇢ warnings: cursing, dirty talk, poly relationship, handjobs, fingering, oral sex (f. receiving), public sex, outdoor sex, unprotected sex (wrap it up lovelies), all the boys wanna kiss yn, cum inside/stuffing, slight over stimulation if you squint. ⇢ A/N: literally this idea came to me while watching the first episode and seeing tae washes the dishes sooo, here you goo!! lmao x also if it seems messy or all over the place, that’s bc i wrote this while streaming dynamite and obvi got distracted . 
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Namjoon is the first to spot you, just as you're tugging your suitcase from the trunk of your car. The large grin that takes over his features as he makes his way over to you, brown hair flopping in the wind with each step he takes. A silver pot held in his hands that he must've forgotten the purpose of upon setting sights on you.
“You're here.” He says with a large smile, dimples showing while he leaning down to press a soft kiss to your waiting lips. “Did you eat?”
Just with one look around the backyard, you can tell that they just finished eating. Had hoped to arrive a bit earlier so you'd be able to eat with them. “Not yet,” He looked good, as usual, but oddly more attractive in this outdoor environment.
The blue two-piece outfit, which you had quickly realized was a favorite of his, hung loosely around his body. The muscles in his arms flexed as he kept his grip on the pot in his hand. Eyes turn to half-moons with the way he was smiling at you.
It had been a few weeks since you saw them last. What with their jam packed schedule and you keeping up with the things going on in your own life, there wasn't really time to be together the way you wanted. A constant long-distance relationship with the seven of them, even if they were only a few miles away.
Which was the biggest reason you were jumping on the chance to spend this week with them. Secluded with nothing to do but be together. It had been Jin who had suggested it, finding out that you had the same week free. What better way to spend it then with your boyfriends? Agreement coming from his younger members instantly and to your surprise, the staff was quick to agree as well. 
Most times riddled a distraction, but it seemed that you being here sort of fit the relaxation, recharging theme of this entire trip. Zero complaints from you, of course, you were packing your bags the moment you got the green light.
“I'll make you a plate, wait.”
All of a sudden remembering he had been in the middle of doing something before seeing you. Quick steps are taken into the house with the pot in hand and you're right behind him, marveling at the huge land they had rented out for this. All of the greens of the mountains and grass was a pretty contrast to the bright blue sky, the sparkling lake that you couldn't wait to try out.
And there was so much stuff! Placed all over the place from where you can see, each item matching a different member's personality so well that you could guess who asked for what. 
Joon is coming back, hands-free, but only to grab your suitcase, wheeling it into the house. He's gone talking to whoever is in the kitchen before he's returning, arm easily wrapping around your waist as he leads you down the hill.
“You came here looking refreshed,” He notes, finally saying out loud what he had been thinking since you were pulling the suitcase from the car.
Out of all of them, Namjoon seemed to pay a lot of attention to the way you looked. And no, not just the clothes you wore and how they fit – but like deeper. He paid a lot of attention to your facial expressions more than anything, reading your demeanor as if it was his latest page-turner.
A blessing and a curse, because although he knew when something was bothering you and tried his best to fix it without you saying a word. It was also really, extremely hard to hide things for him. Not that you tried to often.
“It was a nice drive and I'm excited to spend time with you guys,” The smile that takes over your features is causing a flutter in his heart, his large hand landing on your arm that you've wrapped around his torso – walking the rest of the way like that.
Jimin is whipping around at the sound of footsteps approaching, and you're eyes are widening at the sight of him. Unwrapping yourself from Joon's body, you're rushing the rest of your steps hands outstretched to touch the edge of the gat hanging from his neck.
“You actually wore it?” Speaking through a slight giggle and he's grinning, hands finding home on your torso as he playfully rolls his eyes. “Of course I wore it, so you better deliver,”
The result of a drunk game of Truth or Dare between the two of you. He spent the entire night choosing truth, but as soon as he was picking dare you were telling him to wear his new hanbok for the first day of shooting. He was agreeing with a roll of his eyes, boasting about how easy it was.
Then on your turn, he was hitting you with that sly grin of his. 'If I wear my hanbok for shooting, then you need to let me...' Words trailing off as he suggestively wiggled his eyebrows in your direction. You were quick to put two and two together of what he wanted. And you were agreeing because of course, you wanted it too.
With a distracted nod, your eyes are shifting to the moving figure behind him. “Of course, baby. Whatever you want.” Breaking from his grasp just as Namjoon is extending the full bowl in your direction.
You thank him with a wide smile, which he acknowledges with a short nod – going back to cleaning up while you take a seat at the table. Sat eating the food that you can tell was made by Jungkook as you watch your two men move around the yard until Joon is disappearing into the house again. Someone else exiting at the same time.
“I thought I heard your voice!” There's a smile in his voice that you can detect without having to listen very hard. And you're proven right as you lift your head, being met with Hoseok's bright smile. “When'd you get here?” He wonders once he's closer, taking the empty spot beside you.
“Not too long ago,” You speak through the mouthful of food in your mouth, the words you're speaking coming out a murmured mess. 
The smile on Hoseok's face only grows, his hand lifting to push his hair back on his forehead. “I missed you.” A random confession that has heat rising in your cheeks. He always did this. Knew what a few simple words did to your mind and took pleasure in making you flustered whenever possible.
This time was no different. Just three words and you were forced to put extra focus on your noodles. He missed you. Obviously, you missed him – that's a given. But the fact that he, Jung Hoseok actually missed you and was just telling you about it casually. With that smile on his face. Yeah, he knew exactly what he was doing.
“I missed you too.” A delayed reply, but he's not faltering. Doesn't even think twice about what you could have been thinking about in the time it took you to answer. Instead, he's reaching his arm to wrap around your shoulders, pulling your body into his so he's able to press a dozen chaste kisses to the top of your head.
And then just like that, he's releasing you. Not even giving you a moment to react before he's standing from his spot beside you and moving to help Jimin clean up the outside area.
After the third time, you're asked to scoot over, you're standing feeling as though you're in the way of the cleaning. So, you go to find the others that you haven't seen yet. Thanks to a FaceTime call from Jungkook while they were going through the tour, you had a pretty good understanding of the layout of this place.
Heading over the hill to the Upper House, bowl in hand. And you're grinning when you spot Jin standing out front, staring at the line of delivered groceries in front of him. “Jinnie!” You're calling with a wave of your hand, and he's turning around.
“Yn!” He calls, just as loud – waving you over with one frantic hand.
Easily speeding up your footsteps, it's not long before you're standing in front of him. Arms wrapped around his torso in a tight hug. “What are you doing?” He's out of your hold now, bending to lift the bags off the ground.
“Putting groceries away.”
Following behind him, you shovel mouthfuls of noodles into your mouth while sinking down at the island. For a little while, you're able to enjoy your meal and engage in broken chatter was Jin moves in and out of the house.
He's filling you in on all the plans he has for this trip and the things he's excited about and you listen with a smile on your face. Loving the way he looks when he's completely in his element, eyes sparkling as he talks about being able to fish with Yoongi.
Speaking of Yoongi. Sauntering out from God knows where, white tee hanging loose – revealing a bit of his chest, baggy black jeans that you've now decided is the only thing you ever want to see him in. His hair is unkempt, laying messily over his forehead and only slightly covering his eyes.
There's a smirk on his face when he notices the blatant way you're gawking at him, sinking into the seat beside you – his cold hand not hesitating to reach for your thigh. “You're here?” He speaks in the bored uninterested drawl that you've become used to. Use to read too much into it before you were realizing that just the way he talked.
Now it had the ability to have heat rushing through your veins, especially if he was using that voice when telling you just exactly he wanted to do to you. Never failed to have you basically salivating, putty for him.
“I just came...” The patterns he draws on your inner thigh stills as he lifts his eyes to look at you, a chuckle falling from his lips. “Did you?” He asks teasingly and you're too dazed to pick up on the double meaning of your words.
His hand inches further up your thigh until the tips of his fingers are just inches from reaching the hem of your mesh shorts. Without a thought, your legs are opening for him – giving him as much room as he needs to do whatever he wants.
Yoongi's grinning at your compliance, his lips are just inches for yours. He takes a moment to study your features. Lips shiny with grease, cheeks slightly flushed, eyes staring unfocused. A slow grin lifts the corners of his lips moments before he's leaning in closer.
Yoongi kisses you once as if he's testing the waters before diving in. Grip tightening on your thigh, pulling your body closer to his while he slowly moves his mouth over yours. Soft tongue slowly tracing over your lower lip and you're instantly opening up for him.
The groan that leaves his lips from the feeling of your wet muscles meeting as arousal rushing through your veins and pooling between your legs, fingers reaching to grasp the rough material of his pants for some type of grounding.
And he grins, teeth gently tugging at your lower lip as his hand slides up your thigh toward your waist. So sure he's fingers are about to sneak underneath your shirt, so you giddily wait for the contact. 
But it never comes. "Would you let the girl breathe, she just got here." Is what you hear.
Jimin, into the Upper House to change into something comfortable. And all too ready to scold his Hyung for trying something with you when it hasn't even been an hour. With a roll of those dark eyes of his, Yoongi is leaning down to press a soft kiss to your lips – much different from what he had initially planned.
Moment ruined, he's standing from his spot beside you. “I'm gonna go help Jin,” He announces to no one in particular, cheeks darkened with pink from having been caught. Yoongi talked a big game, but he was the most private out of the boys. Wasn't one for an unwarranted audience and preferred to have you to himself rather than sharing you.
“Tae's washing dishes if you're done with that.” He's jutting his chin out to point at your empty bowl on the island. As he speaks, he undoes the tie of his top letting it sag at his shoulders before he's shrugging it off. And you watch his fingers carefully, allowing your mind to wander to just how skilled he was with those fingers.
Playing the same notes for the past eight years on the piano wasn't the only thing he was good at. It's a moment before you register his words enough to stand to your feet, plucking your plate up and exiting the Upper House to find Taehyung.
Back to you as he scrubs the inside of the bowl, you watch as his hips sway to whatever song he's got going in his head. No idea that you're entering the kitchen or that you've arrived – just in his own world.
Taehyung looks handsome even from the back. 
His broad shoulders were still visible underneath the brown top that was just so him. He wore a pair of olive green shorts, giving you a perfect view of his strong legs and the way they flexed with the movement of his feet. Thoroughly riled up from Yoongi's interrupted touches from before, you're struck with a very mischievous thought.
Light steps are taken in Taehyung's direction, quickly setting your bowl in the sink before reaching your arms to wrap around his waist. Palms sneaking underneath the fabric of his shirt so you're able to touch his soft belly. You feel him still against you, taking a moment to put together that it's you back hugging him like this.
He's turning just enough so he can look down at you, a large smile spread across his lips as his eyes take in your face that looks brighter for some reason. “How long have you been there?” Tae tries to hug you back but gives up because of the awkward position.
“Not long,” You answer, nose pressed in the dip of his back after he's turned. Your lips place soft kisses against his covered back, the tips of his fingers brushing over the skin of his stomach. “I missed you.”
And you had. There was just something about Taehyung that drove you crazy with little to no effort. Had to be his aura. The way he carried himself. The unreadable expression that always decorated his features. How he was able to smile with his entire face, pulling large smiles on the lips of the people around him.
All of that and the simple fact of how well the boy could fuck. Of course, all of the guys knew how you make you feel good. All in their own ways, different and unique and still good. But Taehyung. Fuck, Kim Taehyung. A living Sex God, with a thick long cock that he knew how to use. Long fingers that could bring you to climax over and over again with very little time in between. And that mouth. God, that mouth. 
Porn stars would blush at the dirty things that came out of that boy's mouth.
Taehyung's eyebrow is lifting at the mindless way your fingers are dipping lower down his body, flinching just slightly when the tips of your fingers are grazing his quickly hardening cock. “That type of missed me, huh?” He's grinning, you can tell without having to see his face.
Head nodding slightly, you continue placing gentle kisses against his back – fingers drawing teasing lines over his cock through the fabric of his shorts. “Don't be a tease,” He hisses.
His wet, glove covered hand is wrapping around your wrist – forcing more of his cock underneath your palm. A soft moan falls from your lips at the feeling of it twitching with the new friction. Tae's hips rock slowly with the movement of your hand, half of his attention still on the dishes he washes.
And you pout. Want to turn his mind to mush like he's done to you many times before. Until the only thing he can think about is you and how you're making him feel. Fuck the dishes.
Even on your tiptoes, you're only able to reach the nape of his neck. But it's the first bit of bare skin you're able to press your lips against so you settle for it. Leaving open mouth kisses on it while your fingers slowly make their way underneath the waistband of his shorts.
Pleased to find he had decided to forego underwear, you're instantly met with the warmth of his shaft. A low cruse falling from his lips when your cool palm is wrapping around him. And you hold it there. Waiting to hear the scoff that falls from his lips as he starts to rock his hips again – his cock sliding through your grip easily.
The sound of his breathy groans fills the kitchen, egging you on. You can feel him growing harder in your hand and the slow drag of his hips is quickly driving you crazy until you're giving in to the tiny game you were playing and moving your hand.
“Oh, fuck.” Tae hisses, the dish he had been holding crashing into the sink as his fists reach to grip the edge of the sink. Voice gruff and it's usual deep, it has a wash of arousal flooding your body and fueling your movements. Free hand lifting to grasp his hipbone, holding him steady as you bring your hand up toward his tip.
A simple swipe of your thumb over his bulbous has a shiver running down his spine and a grin pulling on your lips. Strokes on his shaft speeding up as the sound of his breathy groans tickled your ears. Hips stuttering underneath your grasp in an attempt to take more than what you were willing to give him.
Always so greedy.
“Does it feel good?” Voice hushed where he can just barely hear.
Taehyung is quick to nod his head, though. “Your hand feels so good on me, Yn. Faster,” He whines, something that you're not quite used to hearing from him. Especially over a simple handjob.
He must've missed you a lot more than he was willing to admit.
And because your soul purpose is to give Taehyung any and everything he asks for, you're rubbing down on him quicker, squeezing him a bit harder. His cock twitches and jumps in your hold and you're fastened by the effect you have on him that your grip on his hip is loosening – allowing him to freely roll his hips upward.
A strong arm is reaching back while his body twists, large glove covered hand tangled in your hair to hold your head steady. For the first time, you're getting a good look at his face. Eyes blown and unfocused, his cheeks flushed and lips bitten. He looks so sexy staring at you as if it's taking all his restraint not to devour you.
The way he leans in, crashing his lips into yours for a sloppy hungry kiss only validates your thoughts. Grip tightening in your hair to hold your head still while his tongue tickles the roof of your mouth.
You try, desperately, to keep your focus on the movement of your hand. Letting him lick into your mouth and kissing him just as much as you can without completely losing your mind. Taehyung, like his six other teammates, worked really well with his mouth. In all ways.
He's nibbling on your lower lip, harsh breaths exiting his nostrils as your thumb runs over the underside of his cock. So close and you can tell from the now frantic roll of his hips. And you're more than ready to bring him there, loved watching him fall apart for you, because of you.
More than ready to have him explode in your palm so you can like it up when the sharp knock on the glass behind you is stilling your movements. Head turning to peak behind you, but Taehyung does stop his head tilting so he's able to suck wet hickeys into your warm skin.
Hoseok stands on the other side of the door, looking extremely impatient. You move to pull your hand from his pants, but Taehyung is quick to grasp your wrist. “Yn, I swear to God.” He speaks through gritted teeth and you're flashing a bright smile up at him.
“It's Hobi,” There's another knock on the glass, “He can't just stand out there,” Laughing, you manage to wiggle yourself out of Taehyung's grasp. He watches you with squinted eyes as you pull the door open for his Hyung.
Cued in on what had been keeping you, a teasing smirk plays on his lips. “What? You're just in here giving Taehyungie all the attention?” Both hands knit into your hair from underneath, slowly closing the space between you two.
“He's working hard in here,” You defend with a slight pout. Upon realizing he wasn't going to be getting off any time soon, Tae turns his attention back to the dishes. Scrubbing the gunk off with much for strength than needed, quiet grumbles leaving his lips.
“I worked hard too, cleaned up outside all by myself. What do I get?” Lips a mere inches from yours, all you'd have to do was lift up onto your tiptoes to feel their softness. “I saw Jiminie helping you.”
Hoseok is rolling his eyes at the slight detail. You're teasing him, he can tell from the way you're gripping his shirt in your fists. Like you're desperate to feel him but at the same time seeing how much you can hold back.
What you failed to realize was, he was much better at teasing than you. Without a second thought, he's leaning down to press his lips against yours. Kiss much different from Taehyung's. More controlled. More intense. Strong hands reach for your thighs, easily lifting your body off of the floor and setting you to sit on the countertop.
He's taking up space between your legs, large hands set on your thighs while he sucks your lower lip into his mouth. You can feel the smirk that plays on his lips from the sound of your moan. 
Hoseok responds by reaching back to give your ass a firm squeeze, pulling your body toward his. He's hard. You can feel it through the fabric of his neon shorts, but the moment you're angling your hips to feel more of him – he's pulling back. 
“Jimin should finish up, hm?” Recalling your earlier comment with a teasing glint in his eye. Planting a soft kiss to your lips, he backs away attention now on Namjoon who had entered with a bag of groceries. As if nothing had happened.
Body buzzing and senses fogged, you're left to wonder just how many times you'd be denied the release you craved.
The two men chatted amongst each other mindlessly, surveying the contents of the fully stalked fridge in front of them. Joon is pulling a bottle of coffee from the bunch, handing it over to you with a soft smile before twisting the cap on his own. You watch as he wraps his plump lips around the edge, Adam's apple bobbing as he swallows the liquid down.
Plopping down on the soft red cushion, you watch as Joon moves to offer Tae a sip of his drink. Which he's denying with a pout of his lips. From where you're sitting, you can see that his bulge has gone down a bit – but the foggy need for sexual release stays. You know the feeling. Had half the mind to get on your knees for him right then and there, not like either of them would complain.
They did share you, at times. And those were the times that you secretly hoped for each time you were being interrupted with one of them. But, all of them were so different from their interests and really liked the idea of being alone with you – it didn't happen as often as you'd like.
You could simply suggest it and no doubt they'd agree to the idea. Ready to do whatever you asked to fill your desire. But you liked the surprise of not knowing just when you'd be taking two cocks, or three, or maybe even four. All seven if the weather was right. The suspense had a great effect on you.
Jimin is entering the main house just as halfway through drinking your chilled coffee. Fully changed out of his hanbok, standing in a pair of loose-fitting black shorts and a white SAINT LAURENT tee. Dark hair floppy messily at the top of his head, evident that he's been running his fingers through it.
He looked good enough to eat and if he kept looking at you with those bedroom eyes, you were about to do just that. Beeline made in your direction, settling in the spot beside you. An innocent hand lands on your thigh and your brain short circuits, registering it as anything but.
Without a word, he's reaching for your bottle, taking a long sip from it before licking the drip from his lips. “Where's Kookie?” You ask, forcing your thoughts not to wander too much. And realizing you had yet to see that bunny smile of his, hear the cute way he say's 'Noona' as he wobbles in your direction.
The same age as Namjoon which made you older than Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook – yet Jungkook was the only one out of the three that actually referred to you as Noona. No matter how many times you'd tell him to speak comfortably with you, he'd refuse with blushed and a shake of his head.
The others believed he got off on it, the subtle reminder that you were older than him but he was still able to turn you to make you fall apart with the simple flex of his thigh. “You haven't seen him?” Hoseok speaks with his head inches deep in the fridge and you shake your head despite the fact he cannot see you.
“He’ll come running the moment he hears you're here,” Deciding that your drink is his now, Jimin stands from his spot beside you heading further into the house. Steps cut off by Jungkook turning the corner, as if on cue.
“What!?” A large grin on his lips as his sparkling eyes land on you. Soft hair bouncing as he skips over to you, leaning over the counter so you're face to face. Tattooed hand reaching forward to enclose the back of your neck, gently pulling you forward until your foreheads are touching. “You didn't tell me you were here, Noona.” Eyebrow arched and head tilted to the side.
You can barely see his face with how close you are to it, but there's no doubt that he looks attractive as hell right now in his attempt to be intimidating. Lower lip poking out in a slight plea, “I'm sorry, baby. I was asking about you, though.”
Jungkook only half listens to your words. Some space put between you and he takes advantage of that by allowing his eyes to take in your appearance greedily. Aware of the warmer temperature, you had decided a simple v-neck crop top would suffice. From this angle, he could see straight down your top. And he was doing very little to hide the fact that he was looking, respectfully.
“I'm sure you can think of some ways to make it up to me. Right, Noona?” Hand slipping from the back of your neck, the tips of his fingers brushing over the collar of your shirt. Lips suddenly dry, your tongue is jutting out to wet them. Thighs squeeze together instinctively at the promise his words held.
A contrast to his demeanor, Jungkook is placing a sweet kiss on your lips. One that lingers for a second shorter than you want, but the small smile on his lips upon pulling away is enough to make your heart melt.
All at once, he's releasing you and moving on to follow Jimin out of the kitchen. Taehyung is finishing up he dishes at the same moment, shaking his hands of the water droplets before wiping the excess onto his shorts.
Alone in the room with him again and you feel the atmosphere shift as soon as his eyes settle on you. Finally able to get a good look at you and taking in just how short your shorts are and how thin the material of your top is. But Taehyung is a gentleman when he wants to be. 
His hand rests on your back, the tips of his fingers brushing against the bare skin your shirt leaves exposed. “Want to go for a walk?” Teeth biting into his plump lower lip. Instantly, you're sliding from your seat head nodding at his words.
Taehyung's arms wrap around your waist, pulling your body into his chest and you just faintly see the grin on his face before you're being enveloped in his sweet scent. Guided steps are taken into the game room where Namjoon sits, a laugh leaving his lips at the weird way the two of you are walking.
“What are you making?”
“A boat,” Joon says with a wide smile, lifting the plastic boat to show you. Cutie. Impatient, Taehyung is pushing his hips forward into yours. Even through the layers and with the small fact that he's not exactly hard at the moment – you can still feel his bulge against your ass cheek.
But he doesn't stop there, slowly dragging his hips up so you can feel his entire length. A strangled gasp is leaving your lips that has Taehyung smirking, Namjoon too focused on whether or not he just broke his model, doesn't notice.
Arms tightening around your waist, Taehyung takes a step forward – urging you to do the same.
When Tae said he wanted to take you on a walk, he wasn't speaking in sexual innuendos. You had actually gone for a walk around the land. Hand in hand making comfortable chatter as you soaked in the nice weather.
Somehow, you managed to convince yourself that he hadn't been itching to get you alone to fuck you – but really just wanted to spend some time alone with you. It's sweet when you think about it. The gentle way he's talking to you about the nervousness that surrounds working on his new mixtape. His soft thumb brushing over your knuckles as you assure him that everything will turn out alright.
It's not until you're reaching the picnic table just a few feet from the water, is he wrapping his arm around your hips. Lifting you from the ground as if you weighed nothing and setting you down on the table.
Blunt nails lightly dragging over the back of your knees as he gently spreads your legs so he's able to stand in the middle of them. He's easily hooking your legs around his waist, ankles instantly locking to pull him closer to you. “You know what I want to do right now?” 
“What?” You humor him, even though you could probably guess. Arms lifting to wrap around his neck, head tilting to the side as a slight smirk plays on your lips. His mouth hovers over your ear, wet brushing over the shell of it as he speaks.
“Wanna taste that sweet little cunt. Bet you're already soaked from all the attention you've been getting.” To prove his point, Tae's fingers trail up between your thighs. Your body shudders as he drags a single digit over your slit through the fabric.
He wasn't wrong, had started to feel the heat pool between your legs when Yoongi first kissed you. Mind driving you insane with being able to be with them for this entire week. All of them. It was safe to say it had gotten to you in a very obvious way.
Not one to tease, Taehyung is using his long fingers to push both your shorts and panties to the side so his fingers can press against your bare skin. A surprised gasp leaving your lips with the nudge on your clit, hips bowing toward him. He grins.
“Gonna be a good girl for me?” He's a little breathless, but his fingers never falter. A single digit slipping past your folds and pushing through your walls. “Shit.” He chuckles at the enthusiastic way you nod your hand, tongue rolling over his lips before biting down. “Yeah? Gonna cum all sloppy on my tongue, baby? Let me hear you.”
At the end of his words, his thumb is pressing into your clit, rolling it around lazily as his finger moves slowly inside of you. “Y-yes-” Words breaking on a loud whine, he slows his fingers – waiting. “Wanna cum on your tongue, Tae... p-please.” Hips lifting to rock into his hand but he's pulling back, leaving you feeling empty.
It doesn't last long because he's quick with lifting your leg. Fingers wet with your arousal and wrapped around your thigh, bringing it up to his shoulder. Tae lowers himself to his knees in front of you, at the same time pushing the useless material aside before diving in.
Taehyung watches you through his long eyelashes while dragging his tongue along your folds. Always loved the way you looked when he was between your legs. The way you tried to keep your eyes open to watch him, biting your lip in an attempt to keep quiet, fingers tangling in his hair – holding him close. Hot.
Tongue dragging up to flick against your clit, Taehyung reaches for your other ankle. Lifting your leg over his shoulder so he's completely enclosed by your legs. Plush lips wrap around your bundle of nerves, sucking gently while he's pushing two fingers past your walls. 
“Oh! Tae, fuck...” Panting at this point, grip in his hair used to pull him tighter against you. His free hand reaching around to sneak underneath the hem of your shorts, palming your ass while pulling you closer. Fingers angled to brush against the sweet spot inside of you, loving the way you squirm underneath him.
Just faintly, you can see the outline of his hard cock through his shorts. Straining against the fabric begging for some attention. Having you spread out for him, hearing those pretty moans fall from your lips is enough to drive anyone mad. And it doesn't help that Tae's been waiting for this for weeks.
Sharp teeth nip at your clit just as he's pushing another finger inside of you. “Taehyung!” You're crying out, in half pleasure – but also a warning. If he continued like this you'd be cumming before even getting to feel him inside of you.
“Close, baby?” His words are delivered into your throbbing cunt, sending vibrations through your body that has your back arching. Fingers tightening in his hair as you grind your hips desperately into him.
So close you can practically taste it, no longer able to worry about not being able to feel him. Just chasing your release. A breathy chant of 'keep going' falling from your lips as you hold his head in place.
Heat spreads throughout your body, a dull ache starting in your core and spreading throughout your body. Walls clenched so tight around his fingers that it's almost hard for him to pull back, so he doesn't, instead pushes deeper – pressing all three fingers against your sweet spot. In that exact moment, his lips are wrapping around your clit, sucking harshly and you feel the band snap.
Body tightening and legs shaking as incoherent curses fall from your lips. Taehyung watches your pretty eyes roll back, head tipping too. And once he's sure you're at the peak of your climax, he's pulling his fingers from inside of you and standing to his feet. Quick with fishing his cock from inside his shorts, you just barely notice the absence before you're being filled again.
A drawn-out whine falls from your lips at the new stretch, a thick groan from his from the tight squeeze. The wetness from your release makes it easy for him to move, though and he's thankful – too eager to wait longer than a few seconds to have you.
Your fingers struggle to find something to grasp as he ruts against you in an almost brutal pace. Each snap of his hips pushing your body further up on the table, only for him to drag you back down toward him. Loud cries and incoherent sentences fall from your lips that you're sure anyone in a 50-mile radius could put together what the two of you are doing.
Taehyung loves it, though. It's like fuel to his ever-growing ego. Chants of his name falling from your pretty lips, nails clutching at the fabric of his shirt as you beg for him. Just the knowledge he's able to make someone like you, like this. Yeah, he loves it.
“Fuck. This greedy little cunt,” He nearly grunts, eyes flashing up to take in your fucked out expression. His thumb is easily finding your clit through the wet mess between your legs, rubbing it slowly. “You wanna cum again? All over my cock this time?”
A frantic bob of your head and a whiny 'please' is prompting him to reach for your hips. Easily, he's lifting your body from the table, securing your legs around his waist. His hips rut against yours with much more fervor in this standing position. And you attempt to meet his thrusts but you're so delirious that all you can manage is a lazy bounce.
Arms wrapped around his neck and face buried in the crook of his neck, your walls squeeze around him as you feel the pressure build in your stomach again. Sloppy, wet kisses sucked into his skin. Teeth scraping against the tanned flesh before you're crying out your orgasm, body shaking in his arms.
You're positive if it weren't for the rough grip he has on your ass, you'd be sprawled out on the floor from the power of it. Taehyung fucks you through the entire thing, not slowing down until he feels his own release approaching, just second after yours. Thighs tightening and thrust becoming sloppy while he pulls your body down tighter against his.
The feeling of his thick ropes of cum coating your insides has your senses waking up, that paired with the slow drag of his cock inside of you has your legs stiffening again. Hips rocking slowly against his as another tiny orgasm washes over you. So small Taehyung wouldn't have noticed it if he hadn't been paying attention – but of course, he was.
“Did you just cum again?” He says with a laugh, chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. Lips sucked into your mouth to hide the sheepish grin that fought to take over your features. “It felt good... you cumming, inside.”
A triumphant grin takes over his features and he's leaning down to press a lingering kiss to your lips. “Let's keep it in then,” He's mumbling against your mouth and you're not sure what he means until he's pulling out – fingers quick to meet your entrance, pushing his cum back inside of you.
Body twitching with overstimulation, but you let him stuff you with his cum, not able to deny how hot it was. Especially the look of concentration on his face, careful not to miss a drop. Once he's satisfied, he's secured your shorts back in place patting his hand over your crotch playfully.
“You better keep it in there, too. Gonna fuck it out of you later,” He promises with a large grin, head tilting up to nibble at your jaw. He's got one hand resting on the curve of your ass, the other gripping your thigh. Zero plans to put you down any time soon, loving the way you're wrapped around him.
He'd stay like this with you forever if he wasn't for the distance shout he's hearing from the main house. Trying to ignore it and praying that you don't hear it, but as it grows louder your ears are perking up.
“Taehyung-ah!” It's Namjoon's voice and you're immediately pulling back when you register it. “Think Joon is looking for us,” You say through a giggle, the kisses he's leaving on your skin starting to tickle.
“He'll give up.” Tae murmurs, trailing a wet line of kisses down the length of your neck. And you almost agree with him, but you hear Namjoon call again and figure it would be best to just go see what he wants. So, despite Taehyung's reluctance, you're unwrapping your legs from around him.
“Or we can go see what's up.” Taehyung's changing his tune once he's realizing you weren't going to change yours.
His arm is easily sliding around your waist, pulling your body into his as the two of you make your way back into the main house. It's a little weird walking with his cum stuffed inside of you. Like a subtle heaviness between your legs that you just barely go without noticing. And if you moved too fast you could feel a bit of it start to trickle out, forcing you to pay much more attention to your movements than usual.
When the two of you are reaching the sliding door, it's locked. Your other six men are sat in the room, snickers falling from their lips with one look at your frazzled state and the fact that you're locked out.
“Ooh, what were you guys doing out there?” You can hear Hoseok's teasing tone through the glass. As if it weren't obvious. As if they didn't hear what you guys were doing out there.
Taehyung doesn't miss a beat, hand dropping down to grasp your ass. “Stuffed her full of my cum.” He says with a wide grin that has hollers of amusement falling from their lips. “Tae!” You're gasping, face heating up as you lift your arm to punch at his shoulder.
“What it's true?” Sparkling eyes turned to you, lips shaped in a soft pout that you'd lean up and kiss if you weren't sure it'd have a glob of his cum rolling down your leg.
Namjoon, your perfect little angel, is the one to pull the door open. And you're thanking him as you walk past, carefully taking the vacant spot beside Jungkook. “Do you really have cum in you, Noona?” He wonders. Eyes dark while a curious hand reaches to brush over the waistband of your shorts.
“Only a little bit,” Fingers lifting to just barely pinch your fingers together to show him. “Prove it,” He says with a tad bit of playfulness in his tone, tugging at your shorts just slightly. 
You have half the mind to do just that. The thought lingering in your mind long enough for both Hoseok and Yoongi to notice. Intrigued, Hobi waits to see if you'll actually do it – but Yoongi speaks up before the tension can grow any thicker.
“We're choosing rooms,” Changing the subject completely acting as if an eight-way orgy wasn't just on the table. “Oh, right!” Joon, who had been subtly watching to see if you take Kook's dare is all of a sudden the reason he had gathered everyone.
A few moments are granted for conversation to bounce around the room, choosing where they'll sleep for the next seven days. And once they've settled their arrangements, attention is back on you – but for an entirely different reason now.
“Noona can share the floating house with me,” Jungkook is saying with a wide grin, keying you in on the fact that this conversation had been going on a bit longer than you had been paying attention.
With a quick nod of your head, you're assuring the young boy that you'll share the room with him. “I figured I'd just bounce around? If you guys don't care.” Much easier that way, whoever wanted you to spend the night in the room – you would. But to keep things tidy, you'd keep your stuff in the floating house with Jungkook.
“Of course we don't care-” Jin starts, but his words are being cut off by Taehyung's haste. “My room first!” Hand raised in a cute schoolboy raised, the look that he pins you with washes all remnants of the word cute out of your mind, though. 
With a thick roll of his eyes, Namjoon's standing. “If she wants to. You choose, baby.” His attention now on you and the pet name has shivers running down your spine. There was just something about the way Joon called you 'baby' that had you keening.
He doesn't act on it, though. Not right now. And neither do you. One by one, they each break off to do their own thing until dinner time. You find yourself following Jin out to the dock after hearing he was going to fish for a little bit. You had gone on quite a few fishing trips with him, never did it but liked to keep him company when he went.
It's hard to ignore how at ease you feel here, with them. Not a single worry in mind in this secluded spot with your favorite guys. Where they're able to be themselves and be with you and be happy. Thankful that you were able to join them. And so ready to be apart of the memories this next week holds.
No matter how sticky.
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- seven days in the forest spent with your seven boyfriends while they film their upcoming reality tv show. there’s no telling what the eight of you will get into when the cameras are off.
masterlist ⤐
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tedesquire · 3 years
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Hi! Could I please add another request to my list? :D it's based off a Hey Arnold episode in which Bill and the reader are on a week long school vacation and they run into each other at the beach and Bill develops a crush on a pretty girl who befriends him but the reader finds out the girl's only using Bill to win a sandcastle contest in order to be on the show Baywatch. The reader tries to tell Bill but he won't listen and he eventually overhears the girl talking with her boyfriend and tells her off only to win the contest with the reader and they confess their feelings? 💕💕
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Summer Lovin’ 
Words: 2554
Warnings: cursing, female pronouns (but no genitalia mentioned and no skin color specified) a bit of angst (fluffy ending though)
Author’s Note: first of all, I fucking love Hey, Arnold! and definitely love Helga G. Pataki with all my heart. She’s a weirdo and I love it. I knew exactly what episode you were talking about. I can't believe you got me to write 13 pages of fanfic for such a specific and niche fandom, but hey, I don’t do this for the fame. I do this for the little bit of serotonin my brain gets when I imagine myself in scenarios with fictional characters because real men are disappointing. (Mod Olivia)
-
You hated Bill. You hated the stupid way his stupid blonde ringlets caught the California sun, the stupid vacant look in his stupid sapphire eyes at almost all times, the stupid fucking sliver of tan skin he exposed with his crop tops that he somehow got away with at school. Not to mention you loathed the stupid fucking grin that he gave to his best friend Ted, the one that proceeded the ridiculous laugh the stupid boy had.
All these things you despised, detested, and loathed with every fiber of your being. Simple annoyances beginning since kindergarten snowballed into a big, white burning ball of hatred for the boy. Hatred that made your cheeks heat up and stomach churn, just as it was doing now.
You had been so excited for Spring Break, your family deciding to travel 5 and a half hours to a beach house in Half Moon Bay. A week of the sun, sea, shopping, seashells, boardwalks, and salt-water taffy, with no Bill to bother you.
 So, naturally, when you had reached the beach after a long day of travel, the sight of Bill sitting on the sand in nothing but a swimsuit, skin glowing with tanning oil, made your heart stutter. Okay, perhaps you didn’t hate him… despise him, detest him, or loathe him entirely. From an outside perspective… some might even say that you were… in love with him. 
Oh God, it was true. You couldn't stop thinking about Bill. He looked like he was sculpted after an angel. A prince charming on a white horse. And what he lacked in academic intelligence he more than made up for with kindness. He always treated you with the utmost respect, while you paid him back in nothing but sarcasm and insults. 
You didn’t know exactly why you were so mean to him. Perhaps it was your nerves trying to stop you from getting overeager and admitting your crush. One day you were going to have to either man up and confess your feelings or get over him but that day didn’t seem to be approaching anytime soon. 
You were intent on pretending he wasn’t here, setting up your own place to sunbathe until you heard your name fall from his lips.
“Y/n!?” Bill walked up behind you, prompting you to turn around to face him. “What are you doing here?”
“Bill.” You stated dryly, “My family and I are staying nearby.”
“No way! My family’s right over there!” He pointed at a nearby beach house, a young woman who you recognized as recently-graduated and newfound wife, Missy Preston making out with Bill’s father on the porch. Ugh.
“Yes way.” You responded dryly. “We’re over there.” You pointed over your shoulder. “Isn’t this a coincidence, my ideal vacation ruined by the one person I didn’t want to see.” You noticed a flicker of disappointment flash in his eyes, but you couldn't stop yourself even if you tried. “Don’t get any weird ideas about getting all chummy with me, trying to hang out or anything. Just because we’re staying at the same beach and all.” You scoffed, causing him to flinch.
“Uh, yeah. Fine with me, y/n.” He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly before walking off. You eyed him, sighing softly. 
“What is the matter with me?” You mumble, setting yourself down on the sand. This would have been the perfect moment to get closer to him if only you didn’t have to open your stupid mouth.
[Bill’s POV]
As Bill walked off, he felt most confused. He could never remember what he did to make you dislike him so much, but tried to get back on your good side. Thankfully, with the sun, sand, and waves surrounding him, Bill couldn’t stay too upset for too long. 
He had decided to finally get in the water, heading towards the crashing shore when he had stepped on something.
Huh. Bill was met with the sight of a brightly colored bucket and shovel. Excellent! There was nothing more resplendent than a nice sand castle. Ted was going to be so jealous when he heard. All he was doing for the week was staying at home watching Deacon. 
Too caught up in his new activity, Bill barely noticed someone approaching him.
“That’s a stellar sandcastle you have there.” Bill’s eyes practically bugged out of his head. Growing up in California he had seen his fair share of tan beach babes, but this one took the cake. A total babe. Talking to me.... Say something, dude!
“Thanks.” Bogus. Thank God Ted wasn’t here to see him blow his shot so odiously.
She pushed her sunglasses down her nose to look over the lenses, her bright eyes meeting his. “My name’s Summer.”
“Bill S. Preston, Esquire.” He puffed up his chest, raking a hand through his hair. 
“Well, Bill S. Preston, Esquire, you seem to be a pretty great artist. That’s the best sandcastle I’ve ever seen.” His dark brows knitted in confusion, looking over her to see if she was teasing him. “I bet you’ll walk away with first prize from the sandcastle competition at the festival thing later this week.”
“Sandcastle competition?”
“Yeah! Whoever wins first place will get a guest appearance on Baywatch! But that’s not until the end of the week. How about, in the meantime, you can show me around the beach? It’s my first time visiting the bay.” Baywatch? That’s only the most triumphant show on television! Ted was going to be so jealous. 
“Sounds most excellent! However, It is also my first time visiting the bay. Perhaps… we could explore the area together?”
“I like the way you think, Bill.” She winked, sitting on the sand next to him, the pair getting comfortable.
“What the hell?” You mumbled, looking over your book to watch Bill cozying up with a stranger. Your heart twisted painfully, swallowing thickly, You had no right to be jealous, he wasn’t your boyfriend, not to mention you were cruel to him in every interaction, but that didn’t stop a bitter taste from forming on your tongue. 
You stood, collecting your things and trekking back to your beach house, the beach having lost its luster.
-
You were so over this vacation. You would have given anything to stay at home. It seemed everywhere you went, Bill and that girl seemed to be infecting the air with their infatuation. 
For the past two days you’ve had to suffer watching the pair on the beach splash each other with sea water, build sand castles, and sunbathe with each other; However, that was nothing compared to today.
You and your family had decided to spend the afternoon on the boardwalk. There you had to endure the couple on the carousel holding hands, feeding each other saltwater taffy, and watching the sunset by the wharf. Most fucking heinous. 
It was early evening, and thankfully, Bill and whatever her name was were nowhere to be seen. You didn’t know if you would vomit or cry every time Bill had given her that award-winning smile, the one you so badly wanted to be the recipient of. 
You didn’t think it could get any worse, until you had leaned against the pier, ears picking up a familiar voice, Bill’s. Your heart fluttered, only to sink back down when you realized he was still with her under the boardwalk, back on the beach. 
“Isn’t this amazing?”
“You are.” You scoffed at Bill’s attempt at flirting, ignoring the tightening of your throat.
“I’m so glad I met you.” She giggled. “I’ve never felt so comfortable with anyone.” 
If it had been any other couple, you might have enjoyed such a romantic conversation. This was all your fault, if you hadn’t been such a bitch to Bill on the first day, perhaps it would have been you and him hanging out at the boardwalk. 
“Can I see you tomorrow?”
“I’ll be here!” 
“Excellent!” You heard him scat in that ridiculous, high-pitched way he did with Ted when they mimicked a guitar. As he walked off, you smiled, not noticing you were crying until a tear slid down your cheek.
You were such an idiot. If only you were able to act normal for a fucking minute and effectively communicate with Bill about your feelings. You had fucked up, it was too late. 
“Hey!” You had heard her speak again, wondering if Bill had returned.
“Hey, babe.” That was definitely not Bill.
“It’s all going according to plan. I do believe Bill is falling head over heels for me.”
“Well who wouldn’t?” You rolled your eyes, angrily wiping the tears off your cheeks.
“He thinks I really like him. What a moron.” Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. What the hell was she talking about?
“If he’s as good as you think he is, we’ll for sure win the contest and end up on Baywatch.” It only took you a second to connect all the dots. This jabroni was clearly her boyfriend, and she was only flirting with Bill to win the stupid castle contest.
You had heard enough, running back to the beach in hopes of finding Bill. 
-
Fuck, all these beach houses looked the same. If Bill hadn’t pointed out which house he was staying at you would have no idea how you would find him.
You knocked on the door, praying you remembered the right house, and that Bill would answer instead of his hormonal parents. 
“Y/n?” Thankfully Bill did answer the door, hair wet from what you assumed to be a recent shower. “How’s it...hanging?” He stepped out onto the porch, shutting the door behind him.
“Hey. I’m sorry about being a dickweed earlier.” He seemed as equally surprised as you were by your apology. “Um, I guess I was just thrown off at your presence… that’s not really an excuse… anyways, the whole reason I’m here is about that girl you were with earlier.”
“Summer? What about her, dude?” Oh my gosh, of course her name was something as pretentious as Summer. 
“Well, I’m not exactly sure how to tell you this, but… She’s using you. I was on the boardwalk, and I had overheard you leaving, and I guess her boyfriend came up to her.. Long story short, she’s going to try and get you to build her a sandcastle to win that festival thing at the end of the week and take the credit so they can win the roles on Baywatch.” You met his eyes, swallowing thickly. “I’m sorry.” 
He stayed quiet, your eyebrows furrowing. 
“That’s heavy. I mean, I’m not stupid. You’re usually most cruel around me, and now you’re acting all...nice? I do not think I’m falling for this one.”
“You don’t believe me?” You couldn’t believe it. “I know I could be less of a bitch to you, but I’ve never lied to you in all the years I’ve known you. You just met her three days ago!”
“Y/n…” He spoke carefully. “I think you were correct when you said we shouldn’t try to hang out just because we’re staying at the same beach.” Your throat tightened, that sour taste returning to your tongue.
“Fine!” You hissed. “I don’t even know why I wasted my breath and time trying to warn you. God, I wish we had never come to this stupid fucking beach!” You ran off his porch into the sand, face burning with shame.
-
Bill couldn’t stop thinking about your interaction yesterday. He was barely paying attention to anything Summer was saying to him. He wished Ted was here. He always knew what to say.
He walked beside her on the boardwalk, eyes glued to the crashing waves, mind replaying the scene over and over again.
“Bill, are you listening?” Bill blinked, turning to face her, cheeks flushing.
“Sorry.”
“I said I’m going to get more sunblock, you’re looking a little pink.”
“Oh, thanks, babe.” He heard her walk off, zoning out again. You had looked so betrayed when he didn’t believe you, but, it couldn't be you were telling the truth. Why would you do something like that? All you seemed to do was glare at him, brush him off, and scoff at his jokes. It was clear he wasn’t your favorite person.
He snapped himself out of his thoughts once more, looking around to see if Summer had come back yet. His eyes caught her figure walking up the beach and he raised his hand to wave, stopping when he saw her wrap her arms around some unknown guy. He was too far away to hear what they were saying but knew what it meant when she had kissed him. Y/n was right. And I was so non-non-non excellent to her.
-
Sweat was dripping from Bill’s brow, his chest heaving as he panted. He could not remember where your house was, even if it was supposedly close to his own. It was the third time he had run up and down the coastline, trying to remember where you had pointed four days ago.
This was ridiculous, he was never going to find you… until Monday, when you both would be at school. But that was days from now!
“Y/n!” He fell to his knees in the sand, trying to catch his breath. 
“Bill?” 
“Y/n!” It was a miracle. He noticed the basket in your hands, having collected odd rocks, seashells and glass while walking along the shore. You had been trying to explore away from your house, hoping not to run into the very man who was looking for you.
“How’s it… hanging?” You asked awkwardly, scanning the area for the female that was usually seen by his side. “Where’s Summer?” He scrambled to stand in front of you.
“Y/n, you were most veracious last evening. Summer had been pursuing me with malicious intent. I caught sight of her embracing her boyfriend and I knew you were speaking the truth. I regret the way I treated you. I should have trusted you.”
“I mean… You had reason to doubt me. It’s not all your fault. Besides, it seemed as if she really liked you. I probably wouldn’t have believed me either.” You coughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of your head sheepishly. “Um, to be honest, I really only acted so bogus because I… like you.”
“No way…” He breathed, trying to recall any instance where it seemed you had a crush on him.
“Uh.. yeah. Yes way.” Your cheeks pinked. “But I obviously don’t expect you to return the feeling. I just get really nervous around you so I guess I figured I should treat you like dirt instead of trying to talk to you like a normal person. But I was worried you would think I was too weird, or that I talk too much, or-” You were cut off by a pair of lips. It was so foolish… and so Bill. 
“What about Summer?” You asked once he had pulled away.
“What about her?” It was just like Bill to not stay too upset for too long. 
His gaze was burning, his lips curling into that perfect, knee-melting, pearly smile. That smile you couldn’t stand. That smile that you couldn’t believe was finally directed at you.
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hotchnersbiitch · 4 years
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Worth Fighting For
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A/N: SEND ME REQUEST PLZ
Request: @jojosgirlkat1dluvr​
Pairing: Spencer Reid x reader 
Category: angst & fluff at the end 
Warning: kidnapping, violence. Heavily based off the episode titled Revelations 2x15, so if for some weird reason you haven't seen that episode this will contain major spoilers I guess??
Word Count: 2,003~ 8min
-
You groan as you woke up in a dark room that smelt awful. Your face was throbbing in pain, you went to touch your face when you realized your hands were handcuffed to a chair. Where were you? The last thing you remember was being with JJ to talk to a possible witness but you both discovered that he was the unsub. Tobias? You think that was his name, he ran around back you and JJ split up to look for him. Next thing you know you were hit in the head, now you're in a dirty cabin. 
“Shit.” You mumble out of pain looking down at your handcuffed hands trying to see if there was a way out. 
“Watch your language.” A loud threatening voice called out, the man from earlier was standing in front of you, your eyes went wide. 
“Colossians 3:8; But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.” The man recited as he pulled out a revolver and one silver bullet holding the bullet up to your face. 
“This, this is God’s will.” He says loading the bullet into the gun and spinning the chamber before pointing it directly at your forehead.
“Y-you don't have to do this.” You stutter out, fearing for your life. 
“Yes I do,” he mumbled, next thing you heard was the pull of the trigger. click
The whole team was at Tobias’ house trying to find a way to get you back. Your best friend Spencer was losing his mind, he was so worried about you. You guys have been best friends before you even joined the BAU a few years after Spencer did. You both went to college together, you guys were inseparable. Hours passed with no luck, Spencer was worried sick but he was trying his best to stay calm and figure out where you were. Everyone was, you were the youngest of the group, everyone tried their best to protect you. 
“What are you doing? Don’t, please don’t” You beg as Tobias fills a syringe with a clear liquid, you had no idea what it was. 
“It helps.” He says calmly as he lines the needle up with your vein. 
“Please, I don't want it. I don't want it, please.” You were crying not knowing what was going to happen to you. 
“Trust me, I know.” He says as he sticks you with the needle slowly injecting you with the drug. You wince at the pain, you feel the liquid flow through your veins your eyes rolled to the back of your head. 
“Y/N? Y/N?” you sat up off the floor in an empty, completely white room, you saw your mom standing across from you, how was this possible, she's dead. Are you hallucinating? Are you dead? 
“Mom?” 
“Don’t be afraid to let go, sweetie,” she said in an angelic voice, it all made sense to you now.
“I don't want to die.” You cry out to your mother. 
“Then fight, what's something worth fighting for?” She asks
“Spencer.” You reply immediately, you loved Spencer so much. You don't want to leave this Earth without him knowing he’s the love of your life. You don't want to hide your feelings for your best friend anymore. You wanted a life, with him.
“Fight for him Y/N. Don't give up on him, you love him. He loves you too. Don't give up on him.” She says her voice becoming quieter and quieter.
“I love him, I love him..... I love him.” 
  “Guys! Guys! Get in here!” Derek yells from Tobias's computer room where Garcia was working to find you. The team rushes in gathering behind Garcia, gasping when they see the computer screen. Spencer's face went white and he started crying, JJ placed a hand on his back to comfort him, but there was no calming him down now. 
“He’s killing her,” Garcia said looking away from the screen where you were being beaten. The team watched intently as the scene unfolded in front of their eyes. 
“Answer me! How many members are on your team not including yourself?!” He yelled, he broke you you couldn't take anymore beating. You didn't know how much longer you could hold out. 
“Seven” You mutter your voice weak. 
“The seven angels who had the seven trumpets prepared themselves to sound. The first sounding followed hail and they were thrown to the earth.” He says walking around you before standing in front of you again, you glanced at the camera that was filming you with a terrified look on your face. 
“Tell me who you serve.” He demands. 
“I serve you” You whimper out. 
“Then chose one to die.” 
“What?” You question your heart rate picking back up again. 
“Your team members- chose one to die.” 
“Kill me.” You meant it, you'd give your life for your team.
“Choose, and prove you'll do God's will.” He says as he pulls out the revolver again spinning the chamber before pressing it to your forehead. 
“Choose.” 
“I won't do it.” he pulled the trigger. Nothing. 
“Life is a choice, now choose.” 
“No.” he pulled the trigger again. Nothing 
“Choose.” 
“I...” You thought for a moment before a plan arose in your head. 
“I choose... Spencer Reid,” you utter out.
“He’s a classic narcissist, he thinks he’s better than everyone else on the team because of his intelligence. Genesis 23:4 “Let him not deceive himself and trust in emptiness, vanity, falseness, and futility. For these shall be his recompense.” 
Spencer shook his head, immediately knowing what you were doing. 
“That's wrong,” Spencer says. 
“She doesn't mean it, man, she's under tremendous stress,” Morgan says and Spencer shakes his head wiping his puffy eyes. 
“I know that I'm not a narcissist. But she does know that I know what she means.” He says the team gives him a perplexed look waiting for him to elaborate. 
“Y/N and I argued about the definition of classic narcissism not too long ago, and she knew that I would remember that, and she also quoted Genesis, chapter 23, verse 4. ‘I am a stranger and a foreigner with you. Give me property, forbear a place among you that I may bury my dead out of my sight.’ She wouldn't get it wrong unless it was on purpose. She's in a cemetery.” He explained in a broken voice. 
“She's telling me where she is,” he adds. 
“Okay, uh....” Garcia says typing away on the computer. Hotchner leans over her and points to the screen. 
“What's that patch of green there?” He asks. 
“Marshall Parish. I think it is an old plantation” Garcia responds. 
“Wait!” Spencer says running to get one of Tobias's journals flipping it open before rushing back in. 
“Tobias wrote in his journals about staying clean and keeping away from Marshall,” Spencer says passing the journal around to the team. 
“Guys, there's a cemetery on the grounds,” Garcia says. 
“She's there guys, Garcia send us the address. We have to go before its too late!” Spencer yells running out to the SUVs with everyone else. He was so scared he’d never see you again, he had to hurry. 
You woke up to the man taking off your handcuffs, you panicked, what was happening? 
“What are you doing?” You ask as the handcuffs dropped to the floor, suddenly he grabbed you by the hair dragging you outside. You screamed out in pain as he dragged you out to the cemetery, he drops you before throwing a shove at you. 
“Dig,” he says sternly, you sobbed and did as he said scared as to what may happen if you didn't obey. You hoped Spencer got your message and the team was on their way to come save you. You dug for what felt like hours but was only several minutes, you felt weak, you needed to escape. You didn't think your team was going to find you in time. You looked at the man before you swung the shovel hitting him in the leg. He fell to the ground and you took this chance to run the best you could, you could see flashlights in the distance, was that them? 
“HELP! I’M OVER HERE! SPENCER! GUYS!” You screamed with all the power you had hobbling as fast as you could, you saw them coming closer to you. Suddenly you felt something hard hit the back of your head and a gunshot echo through the night. 
You woke up to bright lights blinding you, you groan closing your eyes again, your whole body ached. 
“Y/N?” You heard Spencer’s voice. 
“Is she waking up?” You heard Derek ask. You were alive, you were safe, you felt comfort wash over you. You forced your eyes open. 
“Thank God...I’m alive” You mumble looking around seeing your team all around you. 
“Yeah, babygirl you're alive,” Derek says quietly, you look over at him and smile at him. 
“How are you feeling?” Emily asked walking over to you. 
“Like shit.” You say with a small chuckle. 
“Yeah, I’d imagine you were hit over the head with a shovel,” Emily says matching your vibe with a small laugh. 
“That's what that was? I thought I got shot, I felt something hit me and I heard a gun go off and then everything went black.” You explain, the whole team was standing around now listening. 
“No, you weren't shot. Spencer shot Tobias right after he hit you.” Aaron explains, abruptly everything came rushing back to you. 
“Spencer...” you mumble looking over to him tears pooling in your eyes you grabbed his hand. 
“I knew you'd understand. I knew you would.” You mumble before you started crying. Spencer started crying too and nodded. 
“Yeah, I understood immediately. That was brilliant, I’m so glad you thought of that because otherwise... We may not have found you.” He says with a sniffle. You look around at everyone tears flowing down your face. 
“Thank you guys, so much. I was so afraid, I thought I’d never see you guys again.” You admit, JJ and Garcia were crying now too. Derek looked like he was about to, you were so happy to be alive. After a while, everyone said their goodbyes and said they would all be back tomorrow to pick you up since you had to stay in the hospital overnight. Soon enough it was just you and Spencer, you were grateful you two were alone now. 
“Spence, will you stay the night with me tonight? I’m scared to be alone. I know there are doctors around and stuff but I'm scared.” You admit, Spencer sat next to you and grasped your hand. 
“Yes of course. You don't have to explain yourself, I figured you would ask anyways.” He says softly, he looked like a wreck from hours of crying and worrying. 
“You were the only thing keeping me alive.” You say softly looking down at your hands that were intertwined together, you resumed. 
“You're the only reason I didn't give up. I didn't want to die... I didn't want to die before I could tell you I love you... I love you so much, more than a friend.” You said not making eye contact with him, it was quiet for a moment before you heard Spencer crying, which in turn made you start to tear up as well. 
“I was worried I was never going to be able to tell you I love you either.” He says with a small smile on his face as tears streamed down his cheeks, he continued. 
“I love you too, I've been hiding it for so long. I was so scared I'd never get the chance to tell you.” He admitted you smiled at him as he brought your hand to his lips kissing it gently. 
“You're my hero Spencer Reid, I love you.” You say looking at him with eyes full of admiration for him he smiles softly kissing your knuckles. 
“I love you too.”
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chalkrevelations · 3 years
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SO, Episode 28 of Word of Honor was a roller-coaster ride.
(Spoilers, as ever, so scroll away and come back later if you want to see it unspoiled.)
They managed two entirely separate scenes in this one that had me going “Did … did that just happen? Is this really happening?” Let’s get this one out of the way first: The scene of Zhao Jing in his serial killer lair with the altar and memorial tablets and his serial killer trophies. Y’all. I swear, scene opens with a shot from behind of drunk Awful Yifu in his Fantasy Ancient China underwear staggering through a set of doors into a room with candles and draperies, and before I was able to register the rest of the set design, my brain gave a terrified squeak and started rabbiting around like, “Oh my god, please do not let this be Xie’er’s bedroom. Oh my god, they wouldn’t actually go there, not even hinted, surely that would be too far!” Then my eyeballs caught up and registered the set, so I thought I was safe, but that didn’t even turn out to be the moment in the scene that had me going “Is this really happening?” (Although I do think the fact my brain immediately jumped to that scenario speaks to the creepy vibe the show has managed to build between Awful Yifu and Xie Wang). So, Zhao Jing is a sloppy drunk and absolutely shitfaced, stumbling around and yelling at his dead brothers, and I’m sitting here watching him, feeling like I need a shower, with my skin a little bit trying to crawl off my body, and then he picks up Rong Xuan’s memorial tablet and pours an entire stream of alcohol out of the pitcher all over it, and I say, out loud, to the screen, “Oh my god, they just had him figuratively piss on that tablet.” Only, no, they didn’t, because there was no need to have him do it figuratively because then, he literally whips it out of his pants and takes a piss on the tablet, complete with sound effects, and I’m open-mouthed, thinking “Is this really happening?” As some background, I grew up in mainstream U.S. culture where ancestor veneration isn’t formally practiced - although it isn’t an entirely absent part of our cultural mythos, it’s just that now when I when I offer cultus to the Patres Patriae, it’s deliberate and intentional – but I’ve been doing ancestor work in my particular flavor of polytheism for long enough, and intensely enough, that I had a visceral reaction of disgust and horror to this. Hand literally clapped over my mouth in shock, even after watching all of his ranting at his dead brothers and spitting at his dead shifu and just generally being a disrespectful asshole with delusions of grandeur building up to it. So, yes, show, you have indeed convinced me that Awful Yifu is the worst, even in an episode that also devoted that much screentime to Prince Jin.
Fortunately, the other “Is this really happening?” moment was at the other end of the spectrum, somewhere in the face of how married Zhou Zishu and Wen Kexing are, which I cannot believe passed censorship. I know I keep saying that, but every time I think I’ve adjusted to how far they’re going to go, the show laughs gay-ly as it pushes the envelope another mile down the road. Truly, this show is the gift that keeps on giving where these two are concerned, and not just because of Zhang Zhehan’s face. I realize I had to spend 50 episodes deciphering Lan Wangji’s smallest microexpression (not that I’m complaining), but I can’t believe how expressive both Zhang Zhehan and Gong Jun are in these roles, with Gong Jun’s little sadness eyebrows when WKX wants ZZS to humor him, and how soft Zhang Zhehan’s face gets when ZZS looks at WKX, and how great they both are at making all this look like a pair of adults who are in an established relationship and confident of each other. I’d be as weak as Wen Kexing if Zhou Zishu pouted at me the way he does when he tells Chengling that he can’t do anything to help decorate the Manor except observe and direct because he’s oh, so injured and frail, poor him. Wen Kexing can laugh at Zhou Zishu when ZZS pokes at him by saying the papercrafter was such a beauty! (Compare this to his reaction back in the day, when ZZS deftly manipulated him out of bringing A-Xiang along on their honeymoon adventures by calling her a beauty and implying she might draw attention away from WKX!) Wen Kexing waves kitchen knives at Zhou Zishu in (somewhat fond) exasperation! Zhou Zishu now accepts Wen Kexing piling his plate with food at the table as perfectly normal! There’s no crying in Spring Festival! They send their kid outside to watch the fireworks so they can have sex some alone time! (Merciless killers. How the fuck so adorable?) Someone must have backed up an entire truckful of money to the house of someone very important to get this aired, because what is the heterosexual explanation for … any of this?
Other thoughts:
We continue to get small things that maintain the parallels between Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishou and Gu Xiang/Cao Weining, including the mirrored theme of finding a home with a welcoming family, shown through family dinner, and expressed through WKX’s description of his former self as a “lonely ghost,” echoing A-Xiang’s self-description (to Shen Shen in an earlier ep) the same way.
HAN YING! Listen, I am stupidly attached to this bit player, and not just because he’s a familiar face (because half of Wen Xu’s screentime in The Untamed was just a disembodied head hanging at the entrance to the Unclean Realm, so it’s not like there was time to get … attached). And I say stupidly attached because ever since we first saw the way he looked at ZZS with big puppy heart-eyes, I knew he was going to be a goner. I just know they’re gonna fridge him for the next step in ZZS’s journey, because something has to pry ZZS out of Four Seasons Manor, as much as I, personally, would like nothing better than to see 8 more episodes of wedded bliss for two gay dads and their son. (OK, one thing I would like better would be if their daughter and son-in-law came to live with them, too.) At least it looks like Han Ying will get to die taking a figurative bullet for ZZS, which will make him happy and might prevent him from finding out the Glazed Armor he’s so proud of bringing is actually pointless, because don’t think that didn’t hurt to know while I watched him being so proud of managing to get his hands on it. But I’d prefer he didn’t die at all, show. Also, why on earth are there only two (completed) stories under the ZZS/Han Ying label on AO3? Because yes, I have looked. I have the search open in another tab right now. Why haven’t more people taken advantage of this guy’s utter devotion for ZZS? How are people looking at the way Han Ying reverently brushes his fingers over the single white blossom on the wall mural in ZZS’s rooms back in Prince Jin’s palace and not falling all over that?
Xie’er, oh, Xie’er. You’re killing me, here. I need someone to rescue you, you desperate affection-starved little sociopath. So, to recap, last time we met, your Awful Yifu finally let it slip that he was never ever going to acknowledge your existence in public. So now, you’re being a very clever boy, setting up a scheme to manipulate him into having to publicly acknowledge you if he’s going to claim credit for your successes (because I’m sure you can’t even contemplate failure) in service to Prince Jin. So clever, but I hate to tell you, you’re clever at everything except learning from your mistakes when it comes to your Awful Yifu. You really learned nothing from Beauty Ghost, did you? Ugh, your sad little face as you watch your hot mess of an Awful Yifu while you wait for the maids to make tea – it hurts me. Please tell me you’re playing some kind of long game, and you’re just a really great actor. Because he’s sloppy drunk, and right now, watching your face journey, I think maybe you think that makes what he’s saying true – that he’s not guarding his words, and he means it when he tells you that of course he loves you and would never leave you. “Are you still angry with me?” Awful Yifu literally asks. “Alright, I’ll apologize. I was just mad. It didn’t mean anything. We’re together in this. I’ll always stand by you.” Xie’er, you have got to stop believing gaslighting abusive men who shovel that BS. This is what they call the honeymoon period in the cycle of abuse. Seriously. This is textbook. Please stop making the same mistakes over and over again. Maybe think about the fact that your Awful Yifu is, single-handedly, the reason the Department of the Unfaithful actually exists in the first place. He is THAT AWFUL. I would like to think actually seeing his serial killer trophy room will make a difference, now that you have some confirmation of what Tragicomic Ghost told you and not the ability to wave it off as part of some he-said, she-said situation where how could we ever possibly know the truth, despite the fact that Zhao Jing has shown he’ll stab anyone in the back in his quest for power? But, then, I also thought maybe learning last ep that he never planned to publicly acknowledge you would make some kind of difference. Are you going to roll the dice again, gambler? Because I’ll tell you right now, the house always wins. (Not that you’d listen to me anymore than you listened to Beauty Ghost.)
(Also, wait wait waitwaitwait. Waitaminit. This is pure speculation and probably way too out there to be true (oh, but, someone’s going to write this AU for me, right?) Hot-mess drunk yifu tells Xie’er that they’ve been depending on each other “ever since I picked you up and brought you back home.” I can’t remember if we know anything about Xie Wang’s background at this point, but it does sound like Zhao Jing might have literally yoinked him off the street to raise him. He … he doesn’t think Xie’er is actually Yan’er, does he? Only he kidnapped the wrong orphaned urchin by mistake? I’m just sayin’, thinking back to Shen Shen’s reaction to finding out Zhen Yan was still alive, it would be exactly the kind of thing Zhao Jing would do, to keep this kid that his brother(s) wanted to find hidden right under their noses.)
Chengling and the chicken. I can’t, y’all. And Zhou Zishu’s face as soon as he realizes what Wen Kexing is telling Chengling to do – he knows this is going to be a show.
Prince Jin, you are almost as bad as Xie’r and his awful Yifu combined:
Prince Jin: Zhou Zishu, you mastermind, your super-secret spy network continues to spread everywhere, including into my very own palace. Oh, the things you must be plotting against me!
Zhou Zishu, chillin’ at Plum Blossom Manor, day-drinking, dressing up in pretty festive robes, taking advantage of his disciple’s unpaid labor so he doesn’t have to raise a finger for himself, and providing his husband with sex so incredible he is never required to actually cook: “OK, my gay husband and our son-with-two-dads, how about we just stay here together forever and be happy?”
Also Prince Jin: *Creeps on Zhou Zishu like a gaslighting m’fker*
Anyway, if Prince Jin always knew what Han Ying was up to all along, is the letter about ZZS’s father a plant, with false info? It was just kind of suspiciously hanging out in the open on Prince Jin’s desk.
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mbop123 · 3 years
Text
“Rollercoaster”🎢 doesn’t really do that episode justice does it?
Gut reactions before I go watch it again with a magnifying glass 🔎 🕵️‍♀️:
- Rio threatening Beth’s family at the start had me acting like a god damn baby. It also felt left of field after last week??? Won’t lie, this one took the wind out of me.
- Rio being the good egg and Nick the rotten one at the start with their grandma 😭😭😭
- Beth turning him in: I actually get it. I don’t like it, but I get it. they were going to arrest her the next day if she didn’t. What choice did she have? It was her or him. Wish she told him that as the police were cuffing his shovel hands but alas, communication was never their strong suit.
- Rio’s face when he looked at her while they were handcuffing him is going to straight up HAUNT me for the rest of my days.
- I fully believe Rio was ready to pop a cap in Beth’s ass when he walked, but can’t because they need her to further take down the SS etc. So, neither of them are choosing each other but will be forced to work together against their will (this was referenced in interview pre S4) which has me HYPEEEE. I can get behind this.
- Beth was in her feelings when she got home. I think we finally got a true glimpse into her head for the first time in forever. She looked kinda shattered tbh, not at all the jubilant Beth of 3x10. I do think I can see the slow burn of Beth softening to Rio that S4 promised, yes despite the arrest we just witnessed 🥴
- For the first time ... maybe ever, I perceived true hatred from Rio towards Beth in the last scene. I will forever believe they can claw their way back to something better until one of them ceases to exist but faaaaaaarrrrrkkkkkkkk THIS HURT.
- I get the vibez nick and Rio are playing the long game with Beth and so somewhere down the line Rio is going to absolutely get his revenge on her (and probably be super angsty because he will have softened to her again by then).
- can anyone explain why Ruby looked so down at the end? She should be psyched - she thinks Rio is away and they got rid of Gene?!? What am I missing?
- I HATED THAT NICK CALLED BETH ELIZABETH AGAIN AND SHE DIDNT CORRECT HIM.
That entire episode rode me and put me away wet.
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lovelylogans · 3 years
Text
spring cleaning
there’s a pack rat in the family. who it is will not surprise you.
part of the wyliwf verse.
warnings: food mentions, alcohol mentions, general messiness, jokes about hoarding
pairings: patton/virgil, offscreen logan/roman
word count: 2,412
notes: hi! this is just a quick little fic as i beta and finish off the next chapter of debutante. this is based off the gilmore girls season three episode twelve “lorelai out of water” cold open. takes place the spring after the main storyline, after alliance but before debutante.
virgil’s phone buzzes at 10:13 am on a sunny spring sunday. he pauses just after he drops off the brunch plates for mrs. torres, babette, and east side tilly, digging around in his back pocket to squint at his recent texts.
logan sanders: Please help.
any other time, this kind of text would probably send anxiety flooding his veins like ice water. as he’s been warned, sure, he’s a little anxious that he’s misreading the situation, but he shakes that aside and snorts.
“called it,” he mutters under his breath, before he wipes his hands on his apron and types out christ, you’re folding easy this year. is that a new record?
a brief pause. then, No, the record was twenty-four minutes. To be fair, that took place when I was ten years old, we were moving into the house, and you were already going to be involved, so I perhaps I should propose that does not count against my spring cleaning record.
ah, that’s right. god, helping patton move had kind of been a nightmare. helping anyone move is a bit of a nightmare, but with patton there’s a whole new layer of shenanigans.
Another buzz. Also, I need this to be hastened along. I have a Socratic seminar in English tomorrow, and though we have settled on a tentative truce I refuse to let Dee achieve the highest grade in the class.
he shoots back i’ll be there asap.
“jean,” he calls to the counter, but jean, having been warned as well, waves him off.
“i got it, at least he waited till the we hit the between-masses lull.”
“you’re the best,” he says, hanging up his apron and ignoring mrs. torres’ hoots about his arms—he's like ninety percent sure she’s spiking her own orange juice so she can have a screwdriver with her pancakes but he hasn’t caught her with a flask in hand yet—and heads out the door.
the citizens of sideshire are fully soaking in the pleasure of a sunny spring day—it’s one of those days, where the weather’s warming up slowly, but there’s sure to be more cold snaps before they fully settle into spring, so lots of people are taking advantage of it. families are sprawled with picnic blankets in the grassy town square. the “long-haired freak” (taylor’s nickname, not his. virgil’s pretty sure his name is dave, but also, he’s not totally sure his name is dave, and as such usually avoids any complications by saying “hey, man,” whenever virgil sees him) is out hawking fruits and vegetables from his garden. lots of people are out on walks, some with earbuds or headphones on, some calling out jolly greetings to other people taking advantage of a blue sky and temperatures that are soaring above freezing.
“hey, virgil.”
“hey, felix,” virgil says, craning his neck to catch sight of—well, he guesses felix and riley are technically his tenants? but that always feels weird to say—his neighboring business owners. felix is busy making sure a promotional poster’s taped to the window. “how’re things?”
“ah, y’know, y’know,” felix says, waving their hands around. “weather’s warming up, so we’re getting into busy season. guess people want to be able to flaunt new ink in the warmer weather, y’know?”
“hey, speaking of—” virgil says.
“oh, yeah,” felix says, scratching at the half of their head that was once shaved bald but is now growing in stubbly. “you wanna have riley do one this time? they can draw up some sketches for you, if you want. or i can, if you want, but it might be a minute ‘cause i’m all hands on deck for this massive full-back piece.”
“nah, riley’ll be cool, it’s been a minute since they’ve done one for me,” virgil says. “i’ll drop by later with some reference photos, ideas and stuff.”
“i’ll make sure they’re refreshed on what your style is before the consultation,” felix says. “appreciate the business.”
“appreciate you and your spouse taking over this empty shop so taylor didn’t get a chance to,” virgil returns, as he usually does whenever felix or their riley thanks him for something. he’s really awkward about accepting gratitude, he’s working on that with emile and patton.
“god, could you imagine taylor next door,” felix says with a theatric shudder. “bad enough he runs half the town.”
“i’ll call tomorrow to make the appointment?”
felix flashes him a thumbs up, and virgil raises a hand in farewell as he continues on his way.
he ends up pushing his sleeves up to his elbows as he walks to the sanders’ house, occasionally saying hey to other residents of sideshire, or tilting his face up to the sun. 
this winter’s been brutal, even worse than it usually is for the northeast, with absurd amounts of blizzards and ice. on the days where it wasn’t shoveling ridiculous amounts of snow on the whole town, the sky had been gray and overcast, and what little sun there was could barely stream weakly through the clouds. 
but now, the sun sinks softly into his exposed skin, warming him without overheating him thanks to the breeze, carrying the sweet scent of tentatively blooming flowers planted by particularly audacious gardeners.
it is a perfect, lovely spring day. 
by the time he gets to the cheerful yellow clapboard house, he’s taken enough deep, calming breaths to ensure that he is a calming presence. he ascends the stairs of the wraparound porch—oh, huh, looks like patton or logan’s making an attempt at being a gardener, that looks like mountain mint—and knocks lightly on the front door.
“please come in,” logan shouts, sounding exasperated, and virgil obligingly pushes the door open.
he toes off his shoes, even as he overhears patton’s voice, cajoling.
“hug-a-world! c’mon, you’ve gotta remember your hug-a-world!”
hug-a-world, virgil mouths to himself, before it comes back to him in sudden, vivid technicolor and he rounds the corner.
and, sure enough, surrounded by the detritus of the sanders home, patton and logan sit in a hastily-cleared space in the middle of their living room, patton holding a stuffed ball tight to his chest.
“of course i remember the hug-a-world,” logan says, still with that tone of exasperation, but lessened now at the sight of a beloved childhood toy. 
“you can’t make me throw away your hug-a-world,” patton declares viciously, which would almost be believably threatening if he were not clutching a stuffed ball made to look like a globe to his chest, and if his curly hair was not sticking up in a configuration that virgil thinks of as chaotically unruly, and if he were not wearing a pink-and-blue sweater he usually busts out around easter, and if someone did not know patton as a person. “you learned all seven of your continents on hug-a-world!”
see, without fail, almost every year patton gets suckered into the whole concept of the spring clean. and, without fail, logan or virgil will try to point out that he does this every year, and patton insists no, really, this time for sure he’ll get rid of some of the clutter around this house, it’s about time!, and then he gets sidetracked getting attached to objects he finds that he suddenly cannot bear to get rid of, despite the fact that said objects have typically been buried away in a dark closet all the rest of the year.
which means that logan and virgil sit with him and try to point that out, and patton wavers, before he decides to keep or donate or trash it, and it seems like it’s going okay, until the next thing he touches turns out to be another thing that he suddenly cannot bear to give up.
it’s gotten a little better since that time they introduced the marie kondo method, but also, that much worse, because of course he insists that everything sparks joy! 
but this is way more mess than usual. there are cardboard boxes and piles of clothes and bits and bobs that are in piles that come up to his ribs. virgil squints it at it suspiciously.
“attic,” logan says wearily, in explanation. “he got boxes out of the attic.”
oh, shit, the attic. god, that thing is stuffed to the brim with boxes, no wonder the living room looks like someone upended the odds-and-ends drawer for a giant into the house.
“but—c’mon,” patton says, in that same sweetly coaxing tone that usually makes them all throw up their hands and leave the rest of this spring cleaning mess for next year’s spring clean. he holds out the hug-a-world to logan. “hold it. marie says so.”
“marie does not realize that she has a special case with my hoarder of a father and therefore should customize the approach of sparks joy, because you have too wide a definition,” logan says, but he reaches out and takes the hug-a-world with both hands anyways.
virgil examines logan holding it, thinking suddenly of a much tinier logan with a gap in his front teeth holding the same toy in the same way, though the fabric had been much more vibrant shades of blue and green then. there had been a solid stretch of time that the hug-a-world had been the toy that logan had hugged falling asleep, back in the poolhouse. he’d taken the hug-a-world to the diner and to school and all around the inn and to the princes’ apartment and back again.
a side of logan’s mouth twitches up, and then, as if suddenly conscious of it, he forces the corners of his mouth to turn down as he stares at it.
“remember?” patton repeats, staring at logan and the hug-a-world fondly. “we used to take turns to squeeze it as tight as we could and then wherever our pinkies would end up, that’s where we were going to go together when you grew up.”
“yes,” logan says, and then loses the fight against his mouth, because it twitches up into a smile again. “many a trip to uzbekistan was planned that way.”
“look!” patton says, pointing and tilting his head. “that’s canada, then, where’d your other one get you?”
logan moves his other pinky in order to squint at the faded fabric. “i believe that’s cambodia. possibly vietnam, i was rather splitting the border.” 
“why not both?” patton says pragmatically, or as pragmatically as he can sound planning a potential trip based off hugging a ball. 
logan hesitates, holding the ball.
“look,” patton says. “hey, how about virgil helps clean it up, and the hug-a-world can live in your room?”
logan chews at the inside of his lip.
“if it sparks joy,” patton sing-songs.
logan heaves a sigh.
“the hug-a-world will live in my room, then,” he says, before looking to virgil. “we’ve started a pile for you right here,” and pats a pile of what mostly looks like clothes that can be either repaired, repurposed, or sneakily donated.
virgil takes a breath, and says, “i’ll crack open a window and put on some music, then. patton, you take your allergy medicine today?”
patton tilts his head to think about it.
“that’s a no,” virgil says. “i’ll grab it on the way. water, snacks? we’re gonna be here for a while.”
“are we?” logan says doubtfully, twisting to look at him.
“we are finishing spring clean this year!” patton insists. “i mean it this time!”
logan arches his eyebrows at virgil, and virgil mouths play along, and logan sighs before he turns back to the pile, pulling out an old jacket at random.
“i have never seen you wear this. it should be donated.”
“that was from raf, we can’t just toss it!” patton cries out in dismay, and virgil heads for the kitchen.
he fills up three glasses of water, chops up some celery and apples, fills up three mini ramekins with peanut butter, and sets it all on a tray, along with the round white pill that patton takes for his allergies. 
he plugs in his phone and scrolls to a roman-made playlist, lowering the volume so that they’ll be able to hear each other, and proceeds to make his meandering way around the piles of Stuff as best he can without knocking anything over.
on his way, he moves to crack open the windows of the living room, allowing the floral-scented air to waft into the messy room, to hear the chirping of the birds under patton and logan’s debating.
he pushes aside a pile of old books on the coffee table and sets the tray down, mostly ignored as logan manages to triumph and tosses the jacket into a box labeled DONATE.
virgil settles down next to his pile, sitting in criss-cross-applesauce, and gosh all of the clutter of patton and logan’s lives looms over them like a mountain at this angle. 
“okay,” virgil says encouragingly. “good, that’s good! raf’s old jacket will probably make some other teenager very happy to have it.”
patton sighs, staring after the jacket. “yeah, i guess.”
“this is good,” virgil says stubbornly, before tugging at a piece of fabric sticking out at random and unearthing a blanket.
“oh, i was wondering where that got off to!” patton says, delighted. 
“i thought that got lost in the moving shuffle,” virgil agrees, because the last time he saw this he was pretty sure it was tossed over the back of their rented apartment couch.
“so this blanket has not been washed in at least six years,” logan says.
“well, that can be fixed!” patton points out. “i say keep.”
“we’re never going to finish,” logan groans.
“of course we’re gonna finish!” patton says.
“yeah, logan,” virgil says unconvincingly. “listen to your dad.” 
patton beams at him, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek; logan rolls his eyes, before he turns his attention to the blanket.
“so, you claim keep for your room,” logan says. “you already have so many blankets.”
“well, we can always use more blankets!” patton points out. “worse comes to worse, we’ll put it in the linen closet.”
logan tilts his head, before he sighs, and places it in a pile of other fabrics that they seem to have decided to keep.
“all right, fine,” he says, then fishes out another piece of fabric. “next item—”
“look how fast we settled that!” patton says brightly.
“pretty fast,” virgil agrees dutifully.
“we’ll totally finish spring clean this year,” patton says confidently.
(they do not finish spring clean this year.)
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Text
let’s save the world
season two, episode five
five hargreeves x reader
summary: gathering the family together never ends well, but at least you can relax with a few of the siblings.
trigger warnings: cursing, drinking
word count: 5k
a/n: it took me literal years to find a gif for this one. not even kidding. i ended up settling. i am also sorry about how long this took to come out, i was very busy with school and some other health stuffs😂 anywho i hope you enjoy it
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you all watch as reginald’s car gets farther away, and you sigh softly. it’s the eyeball all over again. time to chase after it before it bursts into flames before your eyes.
“you know, i’m starting to get the impression that dad’s avoiding us.” you look to five, away from all the people that filed out of the consulate.
“what gave you that idea?” you chuckle quietly, shaking your head as you look down at the dress you wore, and hated. you couldn’t wait to get it off, but you frown as you notice the missing piece. “i lost my bow to choke that guy, and it didn’t even work.”
scratching the back of her neck, lila glances to the three of you. “i hate to be the boring one, guys, but we need to get the hell out of here.”
as she moves to leave, you getting ready to follow, five steps in front of you to look at the woman with narrowed eyes. “when you mean ‘we’, who exactly are you referring to?”
your eyebrows furrow in confusion as you look at the boy, and lila seems just as confused, shifting her gaze to the side for a moment. “not a lot of ambiguity in that sentence.”
five doesn’t back down- by now you’re used to that. “listen, i don’t know who you are or where you came from, but i’d advise you return posthaste.”
diego leans towards him, “five, she’s right, we have to get out of here.”
“i just saved your life, you kinder shit!” lila spits out, “if i hadn’t stepped in, all that would be left of you is a blazer and some bloody socks.”
looking to the side as you chew on your lip, you felt quite ready to leave right about now. the dress was starting to feel a little too tight, enhancing the pain you felt from the hits you had taken.
“that’s the problem.” five points out, “you’re too good, you ask too many questions. you know too much. and you fight like you know what you’re doing.”
looking back to the small group, you think about what he had said, and it was starting to make sense. “he’s got a point.” you mutter, looking at the girl with a raised eyebrow, almost asking for an explanation.
“so i know how to handle myself, and that makes me the bad guy?”
you wanted to believe she was a good person, the ‘crazy lady’ who you had met in the car who just seemed to be tagging along- but she was starting to seem more suspicious the more you hung around her.
“whoever you are, you’re in my way.” five tells her, “if i see you again, i will kill you.”
he starts to walk away, and for a moment, you’re planted in your spot, staring at his retreating form. quickly shaking your head, you leave the other two behind, catching up to him.
-
when you got back to elliott’s, you had crashed on the couch after changing back out of the dress, and as you did, you had seen that one of the punches you took left quite a gash in your side, and you assumed the only reason you hadn’t noticed it before then was because of the blood that had clotted and dried around it, or maybe the adrenaline from such a fight.
either way, it didn’t matter. you were use to getting injured by now, it was a part of working for the commission and now, apparently, it’s a part of saving the world. you simply cleaned it, put some bandaging over it, and called it a day.
now, you sat on the same rolling chair that you always claimed in the door frame to the kitchen, leaning your head against the wall as you watch luther- who had finally decided he was ready to help, apparently- made some scrambled eggs. the mug that you held, filled as much as possible with coffee, was still scalding hot, but that didn’t stop you from taking the smallest sips every so often.
diego paced the kitchen floor, “no, no, no. i don’t understand. they keep following me.”
luther doesn’t even look up from the pan, which was basically overflowing with the eggs. “who?” he questions, his eyebrows furrowed slightly.
“those dutch sociopaths!”
“they’re swedish, you idiot.” five corrects him, leaning against the wall across from you, “hired guns paid to eradicate us before we can do any more damage to this timeline.”
“yeah, but why now?” diego raises an eyebrow at the boy, “i mean, i’m-” he snaps his fingers, “-fine. for three months until you showed up.”
luther nods slightly, “yeah.” he finally looks away from the eggs, “i was here for a year and no one messed with me.”
looking back to you two, diego holds his arms out, looking for an explanation. rolling your eyes, you stand up, kicking the chair away from you and into the living room. “so you’re saying it’s our fault, hm?” you raise an eyebrow at them, “even if it was, and it’s not, it doesn’t change the fact that we only have six days left before the end of the world.”
nodding, five glances at you for a second. “the closest anyone’s gotten to dad was that driveway, at the consulate.”
as his stirring slows, luther looks up. “well, that’s not exactly true.”
your eyebrows furrow in confusion, and you watch as five steps closer to him. “what do you mean?”
“i saw him.”
you listen as he recounts the time he landed in the alley, when he got on a bus and went straight home- to the umbrella academy. when he arrived, there was some sort of house party going on, as people filled the building, all chatting and drinking champagne.
reginald stood with a circle of people- coincidentally talking about the end of the world and the uncertainties with time. when he walked away to get another glass was when luther stepped in, and was brushed off and humiliated in front of all the guests.
“that’s pathetic.” you all watch as the man scarfs down the eggs he had made, diego being the first to speak when he finished his story.
luther looks to him as he shovels more eggs onto his fork, “yeah, well, at least he didn’t shank my ass.”
“no, bro.” diego leans forward slightly, “he shanked your heart.”
you can’t help the small laugh that escapes you at the comment, and five looks between the two of them as luther hums in acknowledgement.
elliott enters the kitchen, looking to the large man. “is that my bath robe?”
luther looks to him, his mouth full and his eyes wide as if someone caught him sticking his hand in the cookie jar. “no.”
“look, who cares what he shanked?” five finally speaks from beside you, moving to the more important business. “he knows something about time travel.”
raising his hand slightly, elliott looks to him, “uh, why don’t you just do your thing and, uh, time travel us out.”
with a sigh, five stands up to refill his mug, and you quickly hold out your own in a silent request. “anyone care to explain?” he questions as he takes the cup, walking over to the counter and grabbing the coffee pot.
“first time he tried, he got lost in the apocalypse.” luther states.
diego is next, “second time, he ended up without hair on his balls.”
chuckling quietly, you finish, “this time he scattered us all across the timeline here- in dallas, texas, also possibly triggering a doomsday.”
five turns as he finishes refilling the mugs, looking to the man. “any more questions, elliott?”
he quickly shakes his head, and diego starts to speak again. “guys, you’re all missing the big picture here. dad is the ringleader of a sinister cabal that’s planning to kill the president.”
you take your mug back with a quiet thank you as five hands it over, and luther looks to luther with confusion written all over his face. “a cabal?”
“ignore him.” five tells him, leaning against the counter, “look, the way i see it, we only have one option.”
without looking away from his eggs, luther raises the question everyone has. “oh yeah, and what’s that?”
“it’s time to get the umbrella academy back together.”
oh god
you’re not sure if you can handle them all at once again.
diego looks at the ground for a second. “hell yeah. family meeting.”
“okay, then can one of you guys get allison?” you look to luther as he stares down at his plate, suddenly incredibly invested in his eggs.
raising an eyebrow, you take a sip of your coffee. “are you two still... uh, canoodling?”
the man doesn’t answer, only tilting his head to the side a bit. diego slowly leans towards him, “do we need to talk?”
“no, she’s married.” luther speaks through his mouth full of eggs, and you scrunch your nose up slightly.
diego nods slightly, “dude, that’s rough.” he leans back into the back of his chair.
luther forces a chuckle, “i can handle it.” the expression on his face only a second later, as you honestly think he’s close to crying his eyes out.
“i’ll get her.” five sets his mug down, and you watch as he walks towards the archway into the living space. “do you think you can get vanya without, uh, squeezing her to death?”
luther looks at him with a deadpan expression from the comment. “i’ll try.”
“good.” he looks to you, “you should go with. just to, you know, supervise.” you nod with a light laugh, though luther doesn’t look nearly as amused as you are from the light jab at him. a second later, five is gone with a flash of blue.
you down the rest of your coffee as elliott stutters for a moment. “uh, what should i do?”
with a small smirk on his face, diego looks towards him. “prepare for company.”
-
“y’all know, jell-o used to be a delicacy.”
you sit in the living room of the apartment after you had managed to get vanya, along with her, luther, and diego, as elliott goes on about the disgusting concoction in front of him.
“in order to make it, you have to boil down a whole mess of hooves... you know, horses, cows, pigs, it doesn’t matter.” fire begins to dance across your fingertips as you stare at it in boredom, your lips pressed into a thin line. “but not everybody has a bunch of hooves lyin’ around. it wasn’t until, uh, a couple of sassy new yorkers figured out how to dry it out for the rest of us to use to... enjoy this ambrosia.”
diego looks to him after sticking all his knives in a little sheath, clearly as bored and annoyed as the rest of you. “if we have some, will you shut up?”
your nose scrunches up at the thought of having to eat that... sludge, and the fire immediately dies out. “maybe.” he quickly grabs one of the bowls around the table, beginning to distribute the thing he called food.
“i’m good.” you mumble, waving your hand as he looks to you, clearly disappointed from your refusal, but you could handle that. there was no way you were going to eat whatever that was.
luther’s face is scrunched up as he watches the man scoop up the ambrosia, deciding to look away and to vanya instead. “how are you feeling?”
the woman, who was slouched into the couch with her hands resting on her stomach, glances towards him. “pretty shitty, to be honest.”
flipping one of his knives in his hand, diego looks to her. “how would you say you are on a scale from one to... ending all life on this planet?”
sighing heavily, you lean forward and rest your elbows on your knees, ignoring the searing pain in your side. “seriously? put the knife away, idiot, she’s fine.”
his gaze doesn’t move from her. “the last time i saw this one, she had me suspended midair, sucking the life out of me with energy tentacles.” he stops flipping the knife to point it towards you, “i think i’m allowed a little time to process.”
“i would love to see an energy tentacle.” elliott looks up from his creation, looking between the three of you.
shaking your head, you sigh. “no you don’t.”
vanya sits up, looking to the man. “i don’t remember what i did, but i’m sorry.” she shrugs slightly, “if that means anything.”
he looks to her for a moment before he finally stops pointing the knife around, instead holding it at his side on the armrest. “it does.” that surprised you, but at least you wouldn’t have to stand around for another family argument. “just going through a lot right now.”
beginning to speak about ‘a girl he likes’, you roll your eyes. before he’s able to speak too much, the bell on the door downstairs jingles and you can hear laughter- allison and klaus.
“anyone here?” she calls out, and you stand from your seat, as does everyone else, going to stand at the railing of the balcony.
you can tell that the two of them are at least a little drunk from the amount of giggling from the two of them. they stop to look up at the five of you, and klaus takes his glasses off. “i know this is impossible, but did we all get... sexier?”
rolling your eyes, you watch as everybody else goes down to have a heartwarming family reunion, allison and vanya hugging before klaus joins in.
“alright, let’s get down to business.” five turns and goes up the stairs, everyone else following. as they come up, you take your seat once again, all of them taking their own places around the room.
standing in front of all of you, five sticks his hands in his pockets. “first thing i want to say is i’m sorry. i know i really screwed the pooch on this whole going back in time and getting stuck thing.” diego nods slightly, and you prop your feet up on the coffee table, nudging the empty bowl out of the way. “but the real kick in the pants here is, we brought the end of the world back here with us.”
“oh my god, again?” everyone looks to klaus in silence. “all of you knew? why am i always the last to find out about the end of the- oh my god, my cult is going to be so pissed, five! i told them we had until twenty-nineteen!” he whines.
you sigh softly as you run a hand down your face, “well, better inform them it’s coming sooner than that. we have six days.”
“is it vanya?” he takes a sip from his drink, and allison scoffs, “what? it’s always vanya.”
deciding to ignore it, vanya looks to five and you turn back in your seat, shaking your head. “do you have any leads, five?” the woman questions, and diego is already handing him the file that holds the picture of their father in the knoll.
“yeah, we have one.” five tells them, passing the folder over to allison, who doesn’t waste time in opening it up.
“holy shit, is that dad?” she looks at it in disbelief, and vanya quickly leans toward her to examine the photo as well.
after a moment, five continues to explain. “we’ve been trying to talk to him about what exactly this means, so far we’ve got nothing.”
“not nothing,” diego quickly adds, “we know that he’s planning to kill kennedy.”
“possibly,” you make your entrance into the conversation, “but we don’t know who or what sets doomsday in motion.” you remove your legs from the table, leaning forward slightly, “could be kennedy, could be something that doesn’t have anything to do with him.”
five nods, “but, if we know something changes the timeline, we have to make it right.”
her eyebrows furrowing, allison cuts in. “yeah, but how are we supposed to do that if we don’t know what to fix?”
“oh, come on, do the math.” diego tells her in irritation, “we know dad’s having shady ass meetings with shady ass people. we know he’s on the grassy knoll in three days to kill the president. so i think we all know what we have to do.”
“kill dad.”
“find dad.”
the two have very different ideas, apparently, and five turns his head to look at him with furrowed eyebrows, and you have to bite your tongue to keep from laughing at the incredulous look.
it’s quiet for a moment before vanya speaks. “none of us are supposed to be here, right? i mean, what if it’s us?” she looks around, “has anyone here done anything to screw up the timeline?”
another bout of silence surrounds you as looks are exchanged between everyone, before luther takes a deep breath to start a circle of accusations.
“diego has been stalking lee harvey oswald.”
pointing a finger at the big man, his voice raises immediately, “and you’re working for jack ruby!”
“allison has been very involved with local politics.” klaus pipes up from his seat beside you.
“okay, and you started a cult.” she points at him, giving a mocking smile.
while klaus hissed as if he were a cat, vanya sat up in her seat slightly. “i’m- i’m just a nanny on a farm, i don’t have anything to do with all of that.”
allison looks at her, “well, maybe you do, we just don’t know it yet.”
a loud whistle catches everyone’s attention, looking towards diego. “look at yourselves. everything in our new lives is connected to kennedy. that can’t be a coincidence. luther works for ruby, allison is protesting against the government, dad’s on the grassy knoll, klaus-” he pauses for a moment, looking at the man, “is doing something weird and pervy, but it’s probably connected in some way. clearly we were sent here for one special reason. save john fitzgerald kennedy.”
rolling your eyes as everyone starts to argue, you stand from your seat, feeling a headache coming on from being around this incredibly dysfunctional family, unable to not think about how peaceful it was when you were normal for once, just working in a diner.
“guys, you all die.” you look back at five as he speaks, cutting through all of the clashing voices. “i was there. i saw it. i wish i could forget it, but i can’t. i saw russian nukes vaporize the world with all of you in it, in a war that never happened until we brought it here. hazel gave his life to save us so you may need to shut up and just listen to me.”
you frown slightly at the confession, feeling bad that he had to see his family die yet again. you couldn’t imagine seeing your family buried in the rubble of your home, or actually watching the blazing fire that wipes them out from a nuke that takes out the city.
“i don’t know if the things we all experienced here are connected. i don’t know if there’s a reason for everything. but dad will.” he looks around at his family and to you, “we need to him before everyone and everything we know is dead.”
you’re about to voice your agreement, but luther is the one to speak first. “okay. i’m out.”
with furrowed eyebrows, you watch as he stands from where he sits, already heading towards the stairs. “were you even listening, luther?” you question in disbelief.
he looks to you. “yeah. yeah, i was. i heard a fifty-eight year old man who still wants his daddy to come and fix everything.” he gives a derisive grin, “and you can count me out. it’s time we all grew the hell up.”
everyone begins to call him back, and you can’t believe what you had just heard, quickly running around the chairs and being able to step in front of him before he starts making his way down the stairs, you walking backwards with each step he takes. “you’re kidding, right?”
five appears next to you with a blue flash, and luther finally stops as he stares up at him. “no one leaves until we figure this out.”
he looks between the both of you for a second, before suddenly he’s grabbing your arm and tossing you over the railing of the stairs as if you’re as light as a feather. you yelp from the surprise, and five is gone before you can grab onto him, landing on the tile floor with a groan as you curl in on yourself.
“asshole!” you call out to him as he leaves the building, diego following after him for who knows what reason.
standing from the ground, you hiss in pain as you feel the gash in your side sting like hell. you lift your shirt slightly and peel the bandage back a bit to see that the scab that was starting to form had teared apart, and you press your lips together as you let the bandage and your shirt fall back into place.
“let’s go!” you hear klaus call out, and you see the remaining three siblings start to make their way down the stairs. “oh, y/n!” he calls when he sees you standing at the bottom, smiling slightly, “would you like to get some tacos with us?”
looking to the side for a moment, you sigh, before looking back to him. five was gone and you didn’t know when he was coming back, so why not? “tacos sound amazing right now.”
-
music played from the radio resting in front of the mirror on the table matching the rest lined along the wall in the hair salon, and allison ranted about her husband, comb in hand as she messes with klaus’ hair.
with a groan of annoyance, she continues. “the nerve of that man.” she chuckles bitterly, shaking her head, “i mean, one thing goes wrong, and he’s on a warpath! i mean, doesn’t know who i am?” she looks into the mirror in front of him, pointing the comb, “no, no. no ray, you know exactly who i am. you just can’t handle it. i’m protecting him.”
you take a sip from the bottle of champagne on the table next to you, already feeling the alcohol taking effect as you smile slightly, watching the two of them as you hum along to the music. “protecting him from what?” klaus questions, his cigarette between his lips as he raises an eyebrow at her.
“the end of the world, for one.” she responds, the irritation clear in her voice.
vanya speaks from her seat across the room, her feet propped up on top of the table. “hey, is the world really going to end in six days?”
it’s quiet for a moment, and you take another drink from the bottle. “it did last time. i saw the aftermath.” you shrug, “sure, i didn’t see this one, but five wouldn’t lie about something like this.”
klaus gets up from the salon chair, and allison puts the comb she was using to the side. “hey, wouldn’t it be weird if five grew up all hot?” he asks, moving to stand in the middle of the room, grabbing one of the extra bottles to fill up his flask. allison expresses her disgust. “oh, ew! ew! please, miss ‘luther was my lover.’“
holding her hand up, the woman started defending herself. “we have never even kissed.”
“yeah, but you guys were making little sick moon-dog eyes at each other, all through puberty and breakfasts and all that.” he argues, motioning wildly with his hands.
turning her seat around so she can look towards all of you, vanya voices her confusion. “aren’t we all brothers and sisters, or?”
klaus snorts at the question, and you look to allison as she sits in klaus’ previous chair. “well, technically, it-”
“technically?” you cut her off, sitting up in your seat with a chuckle as you look to her, “if you have to use the word technically, you’re already in trouble.”
klaus giggles from where he stands, looking to vanya for a moment, “okay, can- can we focus?” allison dismisses the conversation, “i mean, clearly, we’re not saving the world tonight, but maybe, maybe, we can at least try to save my marriage!”
“no!” klaus cries out, and you grin, “no, because that’s- that’s like asking a nun how to hump someones leg. i mean, who in this room knows shit about relationships, huh? this one-” he points at vanya, “in secret love with some... farm frau,”
“her name’s sissy.” the woman whines.
“which is an improvement from her last lover, the serial killer.” he laughs, and vanya looks very confused from that comment, her eyebrows furrowing. “meanwhile i’m carrying a torch, for a soldier i haven’t technically met yet, luther is... in love with his sister. and you!” he spins around to point at you now, and you’re surprised by his sudden call out, “y/n, you don’t even realize that you’re ridiculously in love with five!”
you gape at the declaration, not even able to comprehend the accusation, but it doesn’t matter, because he keeps on. “face it, the only healthy long-term relationship in this family, was when five was banging that mannequin.” allison crosses her eyes, falling back into her seat, “the only thing the umbrella academy knows about love,” he holds his flask up into the air, “is how to screw it up.”
the two women mutter their agreements, and you take a long drink from the bottle, sighing as you let your head fall against the back of your chair, the champagne resting on your leg.
“how do you guys deal with this?” vanya questions, and you lift your head slightly to raise your eyebrows in question, and she continues. “all of it. the time travel, seeing the dead, the end of the world...”
“well i get really high,” klaus tells her, plopping into the chair behind him, “allison, allison... lies to herself.” the woman kicks a rolling stool towards him in irritation, causing him to flinch, “y/n works herself to death helping five, and you suppress all your emotions, deep, deep down, until you... you blow shit up.”
rolling your eyes, you decide to ignore his comments, looking to vanya. “yeah, i’d like to not do that anymore.” she looks to the floor.
“well,” you stand up, stumbling slightly, “you have six days.” you look at the nearly empty bottle of champagne, and you scrunch your nose up. did you really do that?
“what are we supposed to do with six days?” allison scoffs.
klaus mutters an ‘i don’t know’ and vanya seems like she has an ah-hah moment as she sits up in her chair. “i’m going to tell sissy i love her.” she announces, and klaus looks at her with raised eyebrows, his hands up in the air at his sides, “i don’t want any secrets.” she shrugs her shoulders.
“yeah-” allison grabs her bottle and stands up from her seat, “yeah, you’re right! ‘cause if everything’s going to go tits up, the least i can do is be honest with my husband!”
klaus rests his elbows on his knees, “oh... does that mean i’m going to have to face my cult?” he sighs, “i just hate group breakups- it’s why i stopped dating twins.”
vanya throws her hands out to the side, her eyebrows furrowed. “this family is amazing.”
the other two chuckle, and you shake your head with a grin on your face. yeah, their family is incredibly dysfunctional, but at least they were connected on some level. “let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” allison giggles, and klaus stands to hug her, both of them struggling to stand upright on their feet.
they motion for you and vanya to join, and when the woman hops over to engage in the group hug, you sigh and join in, having to lean against them all to keep yourself up.
taglists:
main: @horrorklaus @megasimpleplan4ever
tua: @rasberrymay @noodlextrash @atomicpillar
five taglist: @anapocalypseinmymind @five-hargreeves-official @insatiable-ivy @coffee-e-addict @xplrreylo @fandomfreakff @colie-babi @flowertoty​
let’s save the world: @aspiringwriter1 @thetrashypanda423 @lilacs-lavender @wow-lookit-all-the-fandoms @ohmyitsfaith @xplrreylo @fandomfreakff @onedollarduck @sleepygal124 @faith-quake @stripedchickens @youcandalekmyballs @pettyjayy @libidinexx @bts-chub @theoriginalkat @flowertoty @whenyouwantdeath @ot7purple @ purblerain @megasimpleplan4ever @whenyouregrungeaff @dumdumsun
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rockbell1003 · 3 years
Text
Cuddles
A new Mallory and Kaito fic! I’ve been working on this installment on and off for a few months, not entirely happy with it but I thought what I ended up with was cute. So here we are!  As always I hope you enjoy reading about Mal and Kai and feel free to message or send me asks if you wanna know more about them :)
I was surprised when it happened. 
Kai had invited me over for dinner, an anime that he was cast in got picked up by a cable channel and we were going to live-tweet during the episode. I took a nervous breath before I knocked on his door, this would be the second time I’ve been to his apartment. The first being the night when I drove him home from the bar and wrote my number on his forehead before leaving. We had gone out a few times after that and we saw each other at work, but this would be our first ‘home date’. Right as my knuckles rapped against the door, it swung open revealing Kaito. He was dressed nice, jeans and a flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled up to expose his arms, his hair was brushed back revealing his forehead and to my secret pleasure, his nose seemed a little pink.
“Hi,” he said, smiling before opening the door wider, “come on in,” 
I smiled back and entered, “hi,” I replied, still feeling a bit nervous and awkward, I walked further into his apartment, stopping to set my purse down by his coffee table. 
“Your place is really nice,” I said, turning back to him. 
Kaito shrugged and made his way towards me, “thanks, make yourself at home. Do you want anything to drink?” he asked as he made his way to the kitchen. 
“Sure,” I replied following him, “could I have water?” I asked as we reached the kitchen, it was small and sparse as if he didn’t use it often.
Kai nodded, “is tap alright?” he asked as he grabbed a glass from one of his cabinets.
“Yep!” I replied, my attention caught on the oven and the smoke that started to come out of it.
 “Kai, were you cooking something in the oven?” I asked worriedly, reaching for an oven mitt. 
“Shit!” he exclaimed behind me but I was too focused on removing what looked like some sort of casserole out of the oven. I set the now burnt dish on top of the stove and turned off the oven before turning back to Kai who was holding my glass of water and looking extremely embarrassed. 
I couldn’t help but giggle, “not much of a cook are you?”
Kai sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck, “no,”
“When you invited me over for dinner I asked if you wanted me to bring anything,” I smiled, “but what is it you said?” I paused and brought my hand up to my face in a thinking position, “ah! I remember now, ‘no don’t worry about it, I can cook dinner.’”
 I smiled at Kai who was now frowning. Worried that I took my teasing too far I stepped closer, “I’m just teasing, I’m not upset, if anything,” I took the glass of water out of his hands and set it on the counter, “it’s actually endearing that you can’t cook.” I smiled and gently,  in what I hoped was cute or flirty action tapped his pink nose. 
Almost immediately Kai turned away and raised his arm up, “heeISHOO..uh,” 
“Bless you,” I replied as I watched him succumb to another sneeze into his elbow, “sorry,” I added a bit sheepishly. 
Kai raised his head and scrunched his nose as if he was a rabbit, “why are you apologizing?” 
I shook my head, “nevermind,” I glanced back at what was supposed to be our dinner, “how ‘bout I cook dinner?” I smiled. 
Kai rubbed his nose with his fist, turned to me and looked almost embarrassed, “I’m not sure what I have-” he trailed off. 
I shrugged, “why don’t we take a look.” I began opening the cabinet right across from me, it was empty minus a colander and two pots. I closed it and moved onto the next cabinet which was much like the first, bare with only a few essentials. I turned back to Kai, “you really don’t cook much do you?” 
He laughed and rubbed the back of his neck, “not really no,” he paused to sniffle and subconsciously rubbed his nose with a finger, “I’m ashamed to admit that I tend to get take out on my way home from work.” 
Finally, I opened a cabinet that contained food, “no shame in that.” 
I paused as I took in all that he had, boxes of mac and cheese, ramen, and a variety of other snack-like food. “When I first moved in with Mia all she ate was take out,” I snagged a box of mac and cheese and moved on to his freezer. 
“I just really love cooking and baking, it might be weird but I find it fun,” I opened the door and scanned his frozen food collection until I found what I was looking for. 
“Cooking is just a skill I do..huh..snf..n’t seem to hih..huh..poh...poh..hah-SHIEEWW...ugh,” I glance behind me to see Kai’s face buried back into his elbow.
“Bless you!” I exclaim. 
“Snf….sdf...ugh, exguse be,” Kai replied, “Cand you had be a dissue? Nexd do you.” 
I turned back to the counter and saw a box of kleenex next to his salt and pepper shakers, grabbing a few I handed them over. 
“Thangks,” he smiled at me before turning away and blowing his nose. 
“It’s no problem!” I smiled, really no problem at all. “Also how does mac and cheese and chicken nuggets sound for dinner?” I asked, holding up the goodies I found. 
Kai glanced at me his hands scrubbing his nose with the tissues, “are you sure?” he asked lowering the tissues and exposing an irritated pink nose, “we can order-” 
“What are you talking about?” I interrupted, “mac and cheese and chicken nuggets are the food of champions,” I leaned in and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. “Now if you had dino nuggies then we’d have the food of the gods but,” I smiled at him, “guess we just gotta make do.” 
Kai laughed, “Then I’ll just have to make sure I have dino nuggies next time.” 
I felt a warmth in my chest, next time! There’s gonna be a next time! “Sounds like a plan. Now hand me a pot.” 
**
“HePSHOO..ihh-HIXTCH-uh..sngk”
I looked over at Kai as he set his dinner down onto his coffee table and reached for his tissue box, “bless you.”
Kai crumpled the tissues into his hand and picked up his bowl of mac and cheese, “thanks.” 
“Are you alright?” I asked, taking a bite of my chicken nugget. Kai had progressively gotten sneezier and not that I’m complaining but I was starting to get worried. 
He sniffled and scrunched his nose, “I’m fine,” 
“Are you sure?” I asked. 
Kai took one look at my face and smiled, “I’m sure,” he reached over and poked my forehead, “but thank you for being worried.” 
I turned to look at my bowl, “of course I’m worried about you, I-” really like you, I shoveled my last bit of food into my mouth to muffle the last bit of what I said and set my bowl down. I glanced over at Kai who was watching me with a smile and I felt my face flush. His smile only grew bigger and he reached over to take my plate.
“I’m going to put these away, can you turn on the show? It’ll start soon.” 
I nodded and snagged his remote while Kai took my bowl as well as his own and walked into his kitchen. 
“HEPCHOO...heh..hih..giTCH-uh” he sneezed from the kitchen. 
“Bless you!” I called out from my spot on his couch, scrolling through the channels until I found the station I was looking for. 
“Thangk you!” Kai called back, his voice sounding congested.  He made his way back and sat down next to me, grabbing another tissue from the box on his coffee table. He brought it up to dab at his nose, keeping it crumpled in his fist. 
The show had begun playing on the television and Kai had taken out his phone, already tweeting out reactions and replying to fan tweets. My full attention however, was on Kai. The way he would subconsciously bring up the crumpled tissue and dab under his nose, or how after he sniffled, his nose would scrunch up, as if ensuring he chased away a tickle. 
“huh...hih..hepTCHuh,”
“Bless you!” I exclaimed, nervously turning my attention to the show we were supposed to be watching. I hoped that he hadn’t noticed that I was staring. 
With a wet sniffle Kai reached forward to the coffee table to grab another tissue, “thangk you, agaid.” He smiled at me. 
I felt my face heat up, “you’re welcome.”
 I was curious if he was suffering from allergies or a cold, but didn’t want to say anything. He had already said that he was fine and I didn’t really wanna push the issue. Kai blew his nose and the two of us fell into a comfortable silence as we watched the show. Kai sat relaxed in the corner of his couch, one hand holding his phone while the other rested on the back of the couch. I sat next to him with enough room that we weren’t quite touching. 
Kai’s character on the show was just about to learn a new power when I felt his touch. I froze and turned my gaze back to him. I watched as he moved my legs so they draped across his lap. I was too shocked to say a word and Kai was completely absorbed in the show, his eyes never leaving the screen as his fingers grazed against my legs. His touch was warm and comforting, I was surprised at how much I enjoyed it. Just as much as I was surprised that he seemed to be touching me subconsciously. Kaito Scott did not seem like a cuddler. So I just watched him. Watched as his expressions changed depending on what happened in the episode, as his hands changed from rubbing my legs in a comforting motion, rising up to rub his irritated nose, or resting warm and still on my shins that lay in his lap. 
I bit my lips as a smile made its way onto my face, as I gazed at the man next to me. I already knew it would be inevitable, but damn I was falling for him, hard.
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heyitssmiller · 4 years
Text
Chop It Like It’s Hot
Chapter 8: Penne for Your Thoughts
Food and shenanigans. Need I say more?
Tag List: @peanut-in-the-goal @whataboutmyfries @raxelle-nite-in-gale @heyoitslysso @spookydiyharrypotterbat
Chop It Like It’s Hot Masterlist
@lumosinlove
.
“When you said you were cooking for an entire hockey team, I thought you’d stick to the basics. Maybe a salad appetizer and something easy to make that feeds a lot of people.” Dorcas looked around at Leo’s countertops, which were covered in flour, measuring cups, and homemade pasta. “This seems a little overboard.”
Leo rolled out more pasta dough and mentally took note of the different kinds he’d made so far. Linguine, fettuccine, penne, pappardelle, farfalle…
“Leo.”
“I just want it to be good, ok?” He finally looked up from his dough and rolling pin and stopped cooking for the first time in several hours. “Besides, this is a good outlet for me. If I focus on cooking, I don’t have to focus on-” He cut himself off, then added lamely, “Anything else.”
Dorcas sighed. “That’s not how you face your problems and you know it. Talk to me.”
Leo didn’t even fight back about talking about his problems. That was Dorcas’ first clue about how bad this was.
“I can’t do it.” He rubbed at his forehead in frustration. “I can’t be ok with being just friends. I can’t be ok with taking a step back and distancing myself. I can’t be ok with trying to get over them. And I don’t know where that leaves me.”
“I only see one other option here. Talking to them.”
“They’re already perfectly happy together-”
“And who says they won’t be with you?” Dorcas demanded. “You’re only imagining two possible outcomes – talking to them and being rejected, or not talking to them and keeping this a secret. But they could also be in the same position you’re in right now. The only way you’re going to know is if you talk to them.”
“I don’t think I can do that, either. Even if they feel the same, that doesn’t change the fact that they are in love with each other. I can’t get between that.” He laughed dully, and the sound tore at her heart. “My mama would kill me if I became a home-wrecker.”
“Who said love is only between two people? Leo, I know you know this. So why is it so hard to grasp now?”
She could see the second he began to shut down and sighed. “I’m going to hug you now, okay?”
“Okay.”
Dorcas wrapped her arms around him and glared at the wall. She was ninety percent sure Logan and Finn both felt the same way and clearly none of them were going to bring it up.
So now it was her turn. And she didn’t hold back her punches.
Those two hockey players were going to get a severe talking-to tomorrow.
“You guys have to promise to be more well-behaved tonight.” Logan told the team as they drove to dinner. Next to him, Finn was nearly bouncing out of his seat in excitement. “Please.”
He got several grumbles in response, but no teasing – which was a surprise.
“So are you two finally going to ask him out?”
And there it was.
“Are you guys finally going to mind your own business?”
“Nope!”
“It’s not like we don’t want to.” Finn sighed. “We just don’t know if he’s interested.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake.”
“He’s cooking your entire hockey team dinner. That’s dedication right there.”
“Also did you even watch the episodes of your show?”
“You just had to go and run your mouth.” Logan groaned, shooting Finn a look. He just shrugged apologetically as their charter bus pulled into the parking lot.
“Do you know what’s for dinner?” Someone asked from the back of the bus.
“He said it was a surprise.” Finn responded as they all filed out of the bus and inside the restaurant that had been kind enough to host them.
Leo and Dorcas were standing in front of several tables covered in food, which took Finn back to three months ago. He smiled broadly and waved at the two of them. Leo waved back and waited for everyone to settle down before explaining dinner.
“I figured a build your own dinner was probably the best idea for so many people. I hope pasta’s alright with you guys.” Leo said, then began pointing to each variation of noodle as he explained, “We’ve got regular noodles, gluten-free noodles, and then some cauliflower noodles for y’all to choose from. Then we’ve got sauces and proteins to choose from, including some vegetarian and vegan options. Everything is labeled, so go ahead and grab a plate and help yourselves!”
Everyone clambered to get in line and grabbed portions that were way to big for the day before a game. Their nutritionist watched on in horror.
Finn was watching Leo talk to Loops when Logan nudged him with his elbow. “Finn, look.”
“Hmm?” He asked, turning back around to look at what Logan was pointing to. There in front of them was a pot full of creamy white sauce, bacon, and sausage with a little label that read: carbo’hara.
Finn melted.
He’d told Leo that joke during their first conversation and how he and his brother would have it the night before every hockey game as kids. And he had remembered.
“Logan.” Finn said, not bothering to hide the yearning in his voice.
“I know.”
Dorcas was watching all of this with growing frustration. Were they blind or were they just stupid? All of this could be solved so easily with a single conversation, but none of them were willing to take that first step.
She really shouldn’t get involved. It wasn’t her business. But-
“It’s painful to watch, isn’t it?” A stranger’s voice asked. Dorcas turned to look at a girl with blonde hair and mischievous brown eyes. She stuck her hand out.
“I’m Marlene. And I just want to say that I am so sorry you’ve had to deal with the three of them for months now.”
Dorcas smiled and shook her hand. “So you’ve noticed, too?”
“I think everyone has.”
“True.”
“You’re thinking about interfering?”
Dorcas shrugged. “It’s either that or waiting for them to get their acts together.”
“And who knows how long that’ll take?”
Dorcas laughed, looking appraisingly at her new companion. “I like you already.”
The other girl grinned. “I told Leo when he was in Gryffindor that he should introduce us. He said it was a terrible idea.”
She smiled back. “He was right.”
“So I’ll take Leo, you take the other two? I’m assuming you’ve been trying to talk to Leo but haven’t had any luck.”
“He’s being really stubborn about the whole thing.”
“From all the complaining I’ve heard from the team, so have Logan and Finn.”
Dorcas rolled her eyes. “After dinner I’ll talk to them. Normally I wouldn’t interfere, but this is ridiculous.”
“Agreed. Good luck.”
“You too.”
“Hey,” Marlene spoke up, “Can I have your number? You know, for meddling purposes.”
Dorcas grinned. “I really hope that’s not the only reason you’re asking for my number.”
“Guess you’ll have to see.” Marlene said with a wink.
Oh, boy.
Dorcas was in so much trouble.
But she had other things to focus on right now.
She marched over to Finn and Logan and stated firmly, “You two. We need to talk.”
A dark-haired guy in glasses sent her a wide-eyed stare. “You’re terrifying.” He looked to his teammates. “What did you guys do?”
“Now.” Dorcas said, ignoring the others entirely.
“Rest in peace.” Glasses guy said solemnly as Logan and Finn got up nervously. “It was nice knowing you.”
Logan shared a worried glance with Finn, but they both followed her to a quiet hallway where she turned to glare at them.
“Are you two actually interested in Leo or are you just stringing him along? If it’s the latter I won’t hesitate to punch you.”
“You’re kidding, right?” Logan asked, then frowned. “Fuck, does he think we’re stringing him along?”
“So you are interested?”
Finn looked confused. “I thought that was obvious.”
“What’s the holdup, then?”
“We’re not sure he’s interested.” They shared a sad look. “He’s never given us any reason to think so.”
Dorcas pinched the bridge of her nose. “Oh my god, you three are so stupid. It’s not that he doesn’t like you, trust me – he’s terrified. Think about it. He likes two guys who are already in love with each other, which would be daunting for anybody. And he’s worried that if one of you didn’t feel the same he’d come between the two of you and ruin everything. Not to mention that if he got rejected he’d be rejected not once but twice.”
They stared at her, then turned to stare at each other.
“Fuck.” Finn stated simply.
“Fuck is right.” Dorcas agreed. “Now what are you going to do about it?”
***
“You were so wrong when you said introducing me to Dorcas was a bad idea.”
Leo laughed and turned to face Marlene. “Hello again.”
“Hey, cooking guy. Anyways, I’m in love.”
“Oh, really?”
“She’s awesome. And terrifying. And I really want to take her out on a date.”
“If you hurt her-”
“Oh my god, are you giving me the shovel talk?”
“No. All I’m saying is that we had entire class of knife skills in culinary school. She knows how to properly butcher things. You hurt her, you’d better prepare for the consequences.”
Marlene blinked, then broke into a dopey grin. “Fuck, that’s so hot.”
Leo laughed, shaking his head a little as he grabbed an empty pot and brought it back into the kitchen to clean. Dinner had been a huge success – almost to the point of them running out of food. Leo had noticed the nutritionist shooting him glares all night and made a resolution to send him an apology letter. He just hoped it didn’t affect their playing too much tomorrow.
He was scrubbing the pot down when another pot was set down on the counter next to him. Marlene shoved his shoulder to get him to move to the side a little. “Figured you could use some help.”
“Thanks.” He said with a smile as she grabbed a sponge.
“So,” She started, and that’s when Leo knew he was in trouble. “I know Dorcas talked to you earlier. And I’m sure you don’t want to hear any more of that, but I wanted to let you know that no matter what happens, it’s going to be okay. I mean, yeah, it might suck for a while, but at the end of the day wouldn’t you rather know than be left guessing forever?”
Leo stopped cleaning out his pot and looked at her, surprised at the turn this conversation took.
She shrugged. “Just a thought.”
He’d never really considered it that way before.
There was a knock on the doorframe, which startled them both. Leo turned around to see the head coach standing there.
“We’ve got to head out soon to get to our hotel at a decent time. Thank you so much for dinner! My guys will be talking about this for months.”
“I’d be happy to do it again sometime.” Leo said, then winced. “Maybe something with a more controlled portion size, though.”
The coach laughed. “That might be for the best.”
After all the goodbyes, Logan and Finn were the last two inside, seemingly reluctant to leave. Leo took that as a good sign.
“We’ll see you tomorrow, right?” Logan asked, green eyes hopeful. “At the game?”
“Wouldn’t miss it.” The bus driver honked the horn, clearly fed-up with waiting. “You’d better go before they leave you behind.”
Logan and Finn gave one last wave before heading towards the door while Leo began making his way back to the kitchen.
“Hey!” Logan called suddenly. Leo turned back around to look at them. “Can we take you out to dinner tomorrow? After the game?”
Leo’s stomach churned at the wording. He gathered up all his courage, took a deep breath, and asked, “Is this a date?”
Finn and Logan beamed. Leo’s heart skipped a beat.
“I sure hope so.”
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iamanerd1 · 4 years
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I am rewatching all of TOA over again...
Mostly it’s because I have chronic FOMO and I want to know if there are any inconsistencies with the new season of Wizards and also because I’m still kind of unsure whether or not that the timeline was always 100% changed by the events of Wizards or not. This may be long...
Trollhunters: 
Stuart’s electronics was first mentioned in the first episode. WHAT.
“Human feet have never sullied the ground of Trollmarket,” uh according to Wizards that is false and you know it Blinky
I forgot that Toby almost drowned a Gnome 
Steve wants to see early homoerectus titties
Oh yeah Jim threw a horseshoe directly at Steve’s head. One shot, one kill. 
Still surprised we’ve never seen Jim's Dad because of how much emphasis they put on him
Jim got stuck by LIGHTNING?  that’s pretty CrISpY 
GOD PLEASE THIS ANGST IS KILLING ME. JIM TALK TO YOUR MOM.
I love season 1 asshole Strickler
Drawl really brought his fists, and only his fists, to a sword fight
Half of Bulars lines are really just “Daddy....” 
I hate all of Claire’s hair clips 
So, because the remains of the trollhunter are built and put back together in the forge does that mean they’ll piece full-troll Jim back together? What happened to all the spirits when the amulet was destroyed, both times?
Deya needs to stand up for Jim while he’s in the void smh 
Steve says “Plebs” as an insult. Also he refers to himself as a King a lot... foreshadowing... 
I just realised is strickler raising himself? Like the real human Strickler???
Strickler murders so many more people than i remembered
oh man i forgot how much i miss the pacing of trollhunters
Oh yeah I ALSO forgot that Luke Skywalker bows down to Savage Opress
“Goodbye DICK-taicous!” 
bros! draal is a bro!
half of the things that happen i really don’t remember how they get out of and so much stuff happens in the first season
Remember when we had 26 episode seasons? ah..m me too...
the whole thing about Jim's attachment to his friends is handled so much better than like... the jedi did.
“I might even love-” STFU STRICKLER
I’ll never be comfortable with Toby falling in love with a furry
I love Claire as a character but man I hate her design sometimes
“Be gone servant.” wow this is morganna’s one and only line to Douxie when she’s in Claire's’ body and lol it’s like nothings changed 
what turned morganna so feral? like girl I know you came from Camelot but you don’t have to eat meat with only your face 
Still kinda surprised that morganna didn’t try to recruit Douxie harder in Wizards (Or have a line in trollhunters like “Where’s our third, Merlin?” or “Your trollhunter and your apprentice...”)
Morganna made the changelings? Could Douxie or Claire also make them?
THOSE ARE DOUXIE’S HANDS WHEN MERLIN MAKES THE AMULET 
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I ALSO FORGOT THERE WAS A TIMELINE ROOM IN MERLIN'S TOMB (must’ve gotten it from the time-map) 
Forgot that Nana took a shovel to Dect. Scott’s head “Help me move the body” of course Varvatos fell for her
I love this photo of Barbara getting her PhD and little Jim!
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“Walter, will I ever get my son back?” 
“A son. A magnificent son.”
What the hell was Douxie doing while Morgana and Merl were being stupid thots 
3 Below:
Cofefe?????? J HI OW DiD I FORGET THAT MEME
Zoe spotted she’s the clerk at the record store too.
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Also the third episode takes place during the robberies of season 3. In this blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment where Toby is driving the cop car
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STAJA STAJA STAJA
Man I love Diego Luna in this, he puts his whole heart in his performance 
Alpha’s theme is great!
they call ppl younglings...
the commitment to the bit where there is a “caw” sound everytime they say the word birdie is great
Eli man voice Pepperjack
“Varvatos.. I made a mistake.” the use of first person pronouns!
“That’s my girlfriend!” 
I love that the serrators also turn Trolls to stone, kinda like it’s all the same technology..,  GUILLERMO
I also love how Aja immediately knows it’s Jim when he’s in his troll form
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“To protect the King sometimes you need to lose a pawn.”
why did Eli and Steve change during the eternal night? (they’re back to their normal outfits) 
“You stole my bounty on epsilon-five!” “That bounty was my wife!” 
Varvatos does the hulk slam thing
“It was prophesied that Galen’s core would return to the panet from whence it came.” (Meaning earth) So the question is, was galens core/ galen himself made from troll magic or wizards alchemy?
Okay so sometime after wizards during kanjigaaarrrgghh’s rein as trollhunter they were visited by the King and Queen of Akiridion-5.
Omen mom is great! 
“Galen’s core is yours house Tarron, as it always has been.” Hmmm methinks that this will come back in someway for the rise of the titans movie 
Why Morando look so smooth all the time????
I am again crying at this final battle scene 
Wizards 
wow I forgot that all of this happens RIGHT before Wizards starts
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riverdale-retread · 3 years
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Riverdale S2 E19
- Alice finally confessing to FP about Charles and Chic. FP is understandably confused and then poor upset Alice tries (and inevitably fails) to explain a plot thread of Riverdale to someone not part of that plot and gets completely hysterical because that is too much mental energy for Alice. I sympathize. It's hard. A quick precis may be Betty Is An Impulsive Arrogant Piece Of Shit Whose Actions Wreak Havoc On Others. That kind of explains most of Riverdale. 
 - Midge is dead and there's a funeral appropriate Riverdale Vixen cheerleader outfit complete with black pompoms they all wear for her funeral. I want to know if they've always had this or this was especially done up for Midge. Cheryl in the cape with the oxblood lipstick, and their using the pompoms at the end of her lament. Cheryl is god and this show is so beautiful to look at.    
-Other aesthetic pleasures of the show: The Main Four in a booth at Pop's, Jughead in suspenders and Veronica in a sexy funeral sweater. Lovely. Also Jughead takes his hat off to show the full glory of his marvelous hair, which pleased me. Gorgeous sunlight coming through the high window at Riverdale High, making Bughead coming down the staircase look like descending angels. Close up of Veronica bravely putting on lipstick to go take care of Nick St Clair. What a face.
- Betty knocks a man out by bashing him on the head, this time with a rolling pin! (Makes three - shovel in S2a, rolling pin S2b, golf club S4).
- Jughead being INTENSELY irritated at being the first one that Keller interrogates for the investigation into Midge's murder was well done.
- Betty compulsively lying to Jughead about Black Hood being on the phone and also says the plot conclusion: NO THAT WAS MY DAD. Sidenote: Has Jughead ever spoken to Hal Cooper?? I think not.
- FP coming to rescue Jughead from his fatal attraction to Betty, because that’s what it is, and keep him from injuring/ killing Chic. Jughead thinks Betty is a safe place, good and beautiful, and everything she wants him to do is by extension Good and Beautiful and Safe, but it’s so not true.  Betty makes Jughead do violence that he’s not good at or likes.  Actually what suits Betty is a mercilessly violent man, like Archie (Does this... make me... a Barchie?  Moi?) And Jughead is so hungry for a mother figure that he says to FP, ‘We’re going to leave Betty AND ALICE alone in the house with a potential killer?’ when Alice is someone who has treated him like crap until he literally saved her life.   And just like the mother-daughter team of Penelope and Cheryl Blossom, the FP-Jughead scenes are always the highlight of any episode.
- OK so while all this is happening at the Coopers’, Nick St Clair kidnaps Archie, beats him up, manipulates Veronica into a non-consensual evening, Archie breaks out of his captivity, and breaks down the door, but Veronica’s already taken care of it by roofie-ing Nick, and the whole thing ends with a reverse kidnapping where Veronica earns a cool $1M ransom money.  Three highlights:  I liked Archie’s passionate run, almost crying, to rescue Veronica. And Nick St Clair smarmily excusing his own rapist past by calling it ‘school boy antics’  so true to life!  And finally, Veronica cracking a little joke about having a powerdrill sent up to dispatch Nick.
- Another physical acting thing that Jughead does really well is panting and sighing. He has a full repertoire of these - to express impatience, rising temper, surprise, anticipation, despair and being appalled.  Also the cute little I Hope To Get Laid smile he gives the desk clerk at the flophouse is gif’ed a lot, and really, I had not realized that 90% of Bughead Chemistry is all generated by Jughead and the force of his adoration for Betty, who does not deserve it. 
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