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uraveragelonelygay · 3 years

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Starting Anew

Requested: Yes

Summary: After losing your mother, you are absolutely devastated. So is your girlfriend, Wanda. But when Yelena Belova walks into both of your lives, is it possible that something beautiful could come from all this grief?

Pairing: Yelena Belova x Wanda Maximoff x Romanoff!Reader

Word Count: 3.2k

Warnings: grief, rip Nat :(, some violence? It get’s angsty but has a happy ending I swear!

A/N: Vision doesn’t die in this one, just because it’s easier for all the women to have a connection specifically with Nat. But, I mean, he’s not really mentioned so I guess if you want to imagine him as dead that works too lol. Also bestie Wanda doesn’t get blipped in this one! And finally, I’m describing Nat and Yelena’s relationship as a mentor/mentee type vibe in this one, simply because I think it would be weird for Yelena to be like “lol she was like my sister but sweet home Alabama amirite” so I hope that’s okay! Please enjoy!

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“Clint, where’s Nat?”

The expression on his face made your heart drop.

“Clint,” you started.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“Clint, where is my mom?” you said, your voice wavering.

“She told me to tell you she loves you always,” he said quietly, approaching you, but you backed away.

“No,” you said, “She’s not. She can’t. Why would she? How could you let her do that?! You let her die!” you screamed, falling to your knees. Your body wracked with sobs.

Your mom was gone. She wasn’t coming back.

You let out a cry of agony, unable to feel anything but grief for the loss of your mother.

A pair of arms wrapped around you, and upon recognizing them, you turned around and sobbed into Wanda’s shoulder.

“I’m here, detka. I’m so sorry. I’m here,” she said softly to you, tears rolling down her cheeks as well at the loss of her mentor.

*****************************************************************************************************

You numbly got your suit ready for battle as Wanda entered your room. Her eyes softened at the broken look on your face.

“Y/N, nobody would be upset if you decided to sit this one out,” she said gently, but you shook your head.

“No. I have to do this. For her. I refuse to let her death be in vain,” you said shakily, tears making their way out of your eyes again.

Wanda nodded. “Let’s go win this, then. For her.”

And you did. You won.

*****************************************************************************************************

It was a beautiful ceremony on a beautiful day. Some might say otherwise, considering it was raining, but you just thought it made things even more special. Natasha loved the rain, it was her favorite type of weather. “It’s like the world is giving me a fresh start; washing away the past and letting me start anew,” she would say.

But, on a day like this, you couldn’t fathom how the world could be telling you to start anew after the death of one of the most important people in your life.

Nat had adopted you when you were five years old. She found you in a Hydra base, and the two of you had connected instantly. She didn’t let you go after that day. She was there through the laughs, the smiles, but also the pain, the trauma. She was the one who would sing you to sleep after a nightmare, holding you close. She was your protector. Your мама. And now that she was gone, you weren’t sure if you wanted a fresh start.

Wanda held your hand throughout the process of planning the funeral. She had loved Nat almost as much as you had. Natasha had become Wanda’s mentor when she first joined the compound, and after noticing the two of you dancing around your feelings, she had been the one to give Wanda the final push to ask you out. It was because of her that you and Wanda were together. She had your mom to thank for her being with the love of her life. She just wishes Nat was still around so she could thank her.

She was broken out of her thoughts as you finished your eulogy.

“Ya lyublyu tebya, mama,” you said with tears streaming down your face. You cleared your throat before adding, “If anyone else would like to say a few words about мама, you are welcome to do so now.”

Wanda stood as you walked away from the podium and greeted you with a tight hug, stroking your hair and whispering soothing words into your ear.

You all sat there for a full two hours as various Avengers and Ex-Shield Agents (and even Nick Fury himself) went up to the podium and shared fond memories of your mother. You all laughed and cried over the memory of your mother. You were devastated, yes, but it warmed your heart to know that your mom was so loved, and that her memory would live on.

*****************************************************************************************************

That night, you and Wanda sat in solemn silence, watching Natasha’s favorite show as you simply held each other. The rain had continued to fall, but you didn’t mind; it merely made you feel closer to your mother. Then there was a knock at the door.

You and Wanda both shot up at the sound. Following the events of the recent battle against Thanos, and the chaos in the world, there were plenty of people who weren’t exactly supportive of the Avengers. So whenever there was an unexpected visitor, it threw the two of you into intruder mode.

Wanda summoned her chaos magic in her hands as you grabbed the gun hidden in your bedroom. You approached the door with caution, opening it to find a blonde woman on the other side, staring at the two of you with wide eyes. She was stunning, to say the least. But you shook that thought out of your head as soon as you could, missing the quick but curious glance that Wanda sent your way.

“Who are you?’ You asked dangerously, pointing the gun at her as Wanda readied herself to fight.

“Oh, I swear I don’t mean any harm-” she began in a thick Russian accent, but Wanda cut her off.

“She asked you a question,” she said coldly, tilting her head at the girl.

“I’m Yelena. Yelena Belova. I came to attend Natasha’s funeral, but I was travelling from Russia and my flight was delayed due to storms here in America, but I’m-”

“Yelena?” You asked with wide eyes, your gun immediately dropped on the ground as you quickly reached out to engulf the woman in a hug.

She visibly tensed, unsure of what to make of this sudden physical contact. You pulled away with apologetic eyes, almost as if you had just realized your actions.

“I’m so sorry,” you began, “It’s just, my mom talked so much about you and I hoped I would meet you someday but I-”

“You’re her daughter?” Yelena asked with soft eyes.

You nodded, both of you at a loss for words.

Wanda stepped beside you, taking your hand and squeezing gently as if to convey a message.

You snapped out of your thoughts as she did so.

“Oh! Right, sorry. Would you like to come inside?”

Yelena glanced between the two of you, a guilty look on her face.

“Are you sure? I don’t mean to-”

“Please,” Wanda started, smiling at Yelena kindly, “We insist.”

*****************************************************************************************************

The three of you stayed up for most of the night, sharing countless memories of Natasha.

When your laughter from the most recent story had died down, Yelena smiled at you and Wanda softly.

“You know, I find it kind of comforting that it happened to rain today of all days. Natasha used to say that it was like-”

“The world was giving her a chance to start anew,” the three of you said in unison, smiling at each other at the shared knowledge of Nat.

“Kind of hard to see how I can start anew. Live a life without her,” you said quietly after a while.

“Well, the rain washes away some of the old, yes,” Yelena started, “but other things it merely helps to grow.”

Wanda nods, smiling at Yelena’s helpful words. “Like the flowers,” Wanda added.

Yelena smiles back at her. “Yes, the flowers. And like the flowers, your love for your mother will only continue to grow from this. It doesn’t have to come to an end. Her memory can continue to grow and live on.”

You nodded, tears flowing down your face. “Yeah, you’re right. Thank you,” you said softly to the both of them.

They merely smiled at you, Wanda taking your hand in hers and squeezing it comfortingly, as a silent promise.

Her memory would live on.

*****************************************************************************************************

You and Wanda invited Yelena to stay with you after that night. You figured since you shared a bond with Nat that was unique to the three of you, that it would help all of you in the healing process to be with each other.

Six months. That’s how long Yelena had been staying with you.

Throughout that time, there were little things that began happening that you and Wanda barely noticed, such as date nights between the two of you becoming scarce; instead you would both opt to spend the night in with Yelena, watching movies and sharing stories.

Or how when you would be catching up with the rest of the Avengers on video calls, your stories slowly shifted from “Wanda and I” to “Yelena, Wanda, and I”.

Or how your nightmares had slowly stopped. How the tears became a rarity. How your smile began to light up the room more often than not. How you were okay.

Until one night you did notice.

You, Wanda, and Yelena were having one of your many movie nights when it began to rain. The three of you shared a soft smile at that. But then a clap of thunder sounded and you nearly jumped out of your own skin in fear.

Two pairs of concerned eyes were on yours and suddenly Yelena and Wanda were at your side.

“Are you okay, moya lyubov?” Wanda asked

You nodded, your eyes still wide with fear, causing your reassurances to be very unconvincing.

“Yeah, just...thunderstorms, you know?”

You hated thunderstorms with a passion. They terrified you. Your mom had always been the one to hold you through them and rock you back and forth, singing you sweet lullabies to get you to fall asleep.

Since she had passed, Wanda had taken on that role as much as possible.

But now, Yelena is the first to make physical contact with you, placing her hand on your leg comfortingly.

The action causes butterflies to erupt in your stomach and blush to coat your cheeks. Wait what?

The thought left your mind when another rumble of thunder sounded through the night. You began to shake, hugging yourself to calm yourself down.

Yelena looked to Wanda questioningly, as if asking how she could help.

“I’m going to make her some tea to calm her down, and I’ll plug in her heated blanket in the bedroom. Could you stay with her?” Wanda asked.

“Of course,” Yelena answered without hesitation.

Wanda smiled gratefully and placed a kiss to your forehead before leaving the room.

“Y/N?” Yelena asked, noting the far-off look in your eyes.

“Can you...nevermind,” you mumbled, eyes cast down at the ground.

“Y/N, what is it?” Yelena pushed.

You sighed, knowing it was the only way you would be able to feel safe.

“Could you maybe, like, hold me? God, I know it sounds stupid, sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

But Yelena was already wrapping her arms around you and holding you close.

You sighed at the feeling, feeling unbelievably safe in her strong arms.

“I’ve got you,” Yelena says softly.

You merely nod, not having the energy to do anything else, before letting your eyes droop and sleep take over you.

Wanda enters the room soon after you’ve fallen asleep. At the sight of you curled up in Yelena’s arms, her heart practically melted. It was only when she felt the love for the girl holding you radiating from your form that she felt she could’ve sighed in relief.

You see, Wanda had been feeling things recently. Things for a certain blonde. And she felt overwhelmed with guilt. I mean, of course she still loved you. She loved you more than words could describe. But she was feeling a similar feeling for Yelena. She hoped it would pass, but of course, it didn’t. It merely grew stronger as time went on.

And now, she felt as though she could breathe easy, because she knew she wasn’t alone. You, too, were feeling what she was. She composed herself before smiling softly at Yelena and sitting beside her.

“Thank you for looking after her,” Wanda says quietly, as not to wake the sleeping girl in Yelena’s arms.

Yelena’s eyes never leave your sleeping form as she replies.

“Always.”

*****************************************************************************************************

When you woke, you were in your bed, Wanda awake beside you, smiling softly down at you.

“Good morning, lyubov,” she greeted.

You smiled at her.

“Good morning, Wanda.”

She didn’t miss the way your eyes flitted to the door, as if expecting someone to enter.

“Yelena is at the store. We were running low on groceries,” she informed you with a knowing smirk.

You looked at her in confusion.

“What’s that look for?”

She takes your hand.

“I think we need to talk about Yelena.”

It was then that you realized she could read minds, and you knew she knew. You shot up, eyes wide with guilt, your breathing becoming slightly frantic.

“Wanda, I didn’t mean to...I don’t want to...I can’t lose you…” you rambled, eyes filling with tears.

Wanda’s eyes softened and she pulled you into her arms. “Oh, sweetheart. You won’t lose me. I feel the same way,” she explained.

You looked up at her. “Wait, you do?” You asked hopefully and she smiled brightly at you.

“I do.”

“So...what does that mean for us?”

She shrugged. “I think it means we invite her to join our relationship.”

Your eyes visibly lit up and her heart warmed at the sight.

“Okay. Let’s tell her.”

*****************************************************************************************************

Yelena looked at the two of you with concerned eyes as you sat in front of her in the living room, both of you practically bubbling with nerves.

“Is everything alright?” She asked hesitantly.

“We love you.” You blurted out before slapping a hand over your mouth at the boldness of your sudden confession.

Yelena was gaping at the both of you with wide eyes.

‘That wasn’t part of our speech we planned, detka,’ Wanda’s voice sounded through your head and you winced. She merely rolled her eyes at your silence and took over.

“What Y/N is trying to say,” Wanda began, “Is that we talked it over, and we both have feelings for you. Of the romantic nature. And we’d like for you to join our relationship.”

Yelena gulped. Silence engulfed the room and it became suffocating.

“Sorry if we-”

“I have to go.” Yelena stated suddenly.

Your heart dropped.

“I have unfinished business in Russia,” she lied. You and Wanda saw right through it, but didn’t want to make things more tense.

“When do you leave?” Wanda asked quietly.

“Tomorrow.”

“Oh,” is all you said.

“I should go pack.”

And with that, Yelena left the room.

*****************************************************************************************************

Two weeks. She had only been gone two weeks, but you and Wanda were struggling because of it. You had both put yourselves out there and gotten your hearts broken.

You were curled up on the couch and Wanda was in the shower when it happened.

A knock sounded at the door. You still had hope, even after two weeks of no contact from her. So you jumped up from your spot and rushed to open the door.

But it wasn’t Yelena at the door.

It was a stranger. He had a deadly look in your eye and you gulped nervously.

“Can I-”

“You. You’re that Black Widow bitch’s daughter.”

Your eyes widened.

“Fuck her and the rest of the Avengers. They’re scum. I wish I could’ve killed her myself, but I guess you’ll have to do,” he sneered, raising his gun at you.

You didn’t have time to react before a gunshot rang out through the apartment. You gasped and he ran.

You looked down to see a red spot on your stomach, growing larger by the second.

A panicked voice sounded behind you.

“Y/N?! What was-” You turned around and she gasped as she saw the blood on your hands and stomach dripping onto the floor.

“I’m sorry,” you said. And then you collapsed.

*****************************************************************************************************

Yelena wasn’t in Russia. God, no. She was staying in a hotel on the opposite side of town as she figured out where to go from here. She was looking at new apartments when her phone rang for the umpteenth time. She sighed, finally checking the caller ID. Her eyes widened as she saw Wanda’s name on the screen. She tossed the phone away from her.

A minute later, she got a notification for a voicemail. She took a deep breath and pressed play.

Wanda’s voice began to sound throughout the trashy hotel room.

“Yelena. I know you left, and I know you likely want nothing to do with us, but I had to let you know. Y/N is in the hospital. She’s in critical condition. I have no idea how it happened. I should’ve been there to protect her but I stepped away for a moment to shower and I-”

There was a pause.

“You probably don’t give a shit, I don’t know why I’m calling, I’m sorry. Hope you’re doing well.”

And then it was silent.

Tears were streaming down Yelena’s face as she decided what she needed to do.

*****************************************************************************************************

You woke up to a bright light and an aggravating beeping beside you. You tried to sit up but groaned in pain.

“Malyshka, no, lay back down,” a voice said, and your head snapped to the source at the familiarity of it. There, sitting beside you, was none other than Yelena.

“What are you-”

“She came to see you. To see us,” Wanda said softly, taking your hand.

“But, I thought you left. I thought you didn’t care about-” but Yelena cut you off with the shake of her head.

“No. That’s just not true,” she denied.

You sighed. “Then why-”

She took your other hand. That shut you up pretty quickly.

“Because I was scared,” she started. “I was scared and so I ran. It was so wrong of me and I’m so sorry. But when I heard you were hurt? God, I immediately realized. I feel the same way. For both of you.” She took Wanda’s hand as well.

“What are you scared of?” You asked softly, squeezing her hand.

“I just…” She trailed off, and Wanda’s eyes glowed red briefly before she cut in.

“She thinks it’s a little morbid that we all met because of your mom’s death,” she said.

Yelena looked at her with wide eyes, to which Wanda simply shrugged and tapped her temple. “Mind reader, remember?”

You spoke up. “What is it you said when we first met? That things can grow from a fresh start? Love can grow?”

“Like the flowers,” Wanda added gently, smiling softly at you and Yelena.

Almost as if on cue, you looked out the window of your hospital room to see rain beginning to fall.

The three of you looked outside in awe.

“I love you, Y/N. I love you, Wanda.” Yelena blurted out. “I’m done hiding it.”

“We love you too,” you and Wanda said at the same time.

Yelena kissed Wanda softly, before separating and connecting her lips with yours. Once you pulled away, you looked at the two girls.

“Cuddles?”

They laughed at your antics before getting onto the hospital bed and settling in on either side of you. The three of you talked, laughed, and exchanged tender kisses for hours before your two girlfriends finally fell asleep.

You smiled softly at them before looking out the window once more, admiring the rain.

“Thanks, мама,” you whispered.

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A/N: I hope you enjoyed! Sorry for taking so long to post it, I had major writer’s block with this one! Hopefully I’ll be posting more often now!

#natasha romanoff #Natasha Romonova #yelena belova x reader #yelena #yelena belova #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x fem reader #wanda #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x yelena belova x reader #marvel one shot #marvel imagine #marvel

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lubdubsworld · 3 years

Text

Better Man.

~~~~We might still be in love, if you were a better man. ~~~~

Taehyung x OC

Rating 18 +

Angst.

Implied Infidelity in the past.

Chapter 1 ~ Walk out the first time.

"Are you okay?" My mother's soft voice came from behind me and i panicked, hurriedly swiping at the tears that were streaking down my face. Heart pounding, I grabbed a bunch of tissues from the dresser, patting my face down hurriedly , making sure to keep my back to her.

"I'm fine, Mom." I said , voice surprisingly steady as I turned around to smile weakly at her. She stood near the doorway, a petite woman of fifty with greying hair and too many wrinkles.

I thought she looked older than she was and i knew I had a part to play in that. Sighing, I tried not to cry more, moving to gently take my son out of her arms.

He was four years old, fast asleep and smiling sweetly in his slumber. He had downy black hair, feather soft and warm brown eyes. He looked incredibly like his father, the resemblance stunning even though he was so young. I stared at him some more, laying him down on the bed and brushing the hair off his face.

"Are you sure there is no mistake? Taehyung ssi wouldn't hurt us like this..." My mother said, sounding broken and I felt a pang of sympathy. But also annoyance.

Us.

Us....like she had an equal share in the hurt I was feeling.

I was the one getting a divorce but my mother made it sound like it was personal to her as well. Like somehow, the fact that she now had to meet her friends and tell them that her daughter was divorced could compare to the pain I was feeling. To the sheer anguish that was filling me.

To be fair though, my mother had loved Taehyung very much. Her favorite son-in-law . My sister's husband had been a mean drunkard who had brought a lot of misery to our family. Taehyung by contrast had been a loving, filial son in law. He had cared deeply for my parents, paid for my father's funeral ( even though the man itself was nothing more than a drunk , cheating fool who had abandoned us ) and he had been the most kind man .

I swallowed.

Maybe , you should have forgiven him. Maybe , you shouldn't have divorced him . So, he slept with another woman. Fine. It was one night... just one night. you should have gotten over it! Was it worth it to spend all these countless nights alone? To break your mother's heart a thousand times over?

The funny thing was, i had forgiven him. Maybe right after I had found out. He had stood there, looking shell-shocked and horrified and his eyes had begged me for forgiveness and my heart had cracked , the way it always did whenever I saw him in distress. And when he had looked me in the eye and said, " I’m sorry, Jang mi..." I had forgiven him right then and there.

But it was the forgetting that was hard. The fear that it would happen again. The fear that somehow, I was the reason he strayed. And that kind of fear can be debilitating. For the first three weeks, I'd tried to pretend it hadn't happened. I had tried hard to see him the way I had always seen him but it had been impossible. everytime I saw him, my heart had broken anew. It had been hard but I had to accept that things would never be the same. That I would forever look at him and remember what he’d done. That I would forever wonder if he would do it again.

So we had done the wise thing.

At first a break.

A few days apart to get our head on straight. Then I’d found a job and I had to move closer to the office to make the commute easy. And then suddenly, I wasn’t seeing him even during the weekends , to spend time as family for our son’s sake. And just like that , a whole year had passed and we were separated. Only meeting to hand Hoshi over to each other.

"I'm sorry mother." I said softly. I knew that she blamed me, a whole lot for the separation.

People with children didn't leave each other over infidelity in my country. You hit your husband, denied him from your bed maybe but you didn't break up a family over one night of bad decisions. You just didn't .

But for me, it was beyond the act. It was the broken trust, the shock of knowing that some other woman had given him something I couldn't, the fact that he had even wanted it from another woman had been enough for me to crumble on the inside.

But, none of it mattered now.

He wanted a divorce. Officially. Wanted to end it for real.

It was jarring, how badly it shook me. I felt unaccountably lost and confused and disoriented. I couldn't imagine not being Taehyung’s wife , i realized with a stunning sense of self realization.

Call me irrational, but apparently, I couldn't stop thinking of him as my husband , even after two years. Soon he wouldn't be my husband.

He would be my ex -husband.

i hated that word.

It had such a plethora of negative connotations to it. When you hear it , you just brace yourself for unpleasantness.

Because it is unpleasant. A marriage ending, a family breaking, feelings hurt , hearts shattered, angry words tossed...its all a very unpleasant experience for everyone involved.

An ex husband was seldom a harbinger of happiness, more often a reminder of choices gone wrong, regrets and wasted time. and I didn’t want to associate Taehyung with a word like that.

Taehyung who was still the kindest, warmest human being I knew. The best father in the world.

I felt like someone had sucked all the strength out of me.

I didn’t really want to think about the call I’d gotten from Taehyung last night. An appointment with a divorce lawyer. It had been followed by an apology because apparently, someone in the law firm had let the info leak. And now it was all over the sleazy tabloids that fed on people’s misery.

It was impossible to escape it too, Taehyung was famous. An idol. And actor. The country's sweetheart. And he was the epitome of perfection. The beautiful, talented actor with an impeccable record of well behavior.

I knew that literally everyone on the planet thought he was a literal angel.

I remembered how much , by contrast, I had been hated when I'd married him.

I could just imagine how much more it would all be this time around. And i wondered if it bothered Taehyung too. Did he perhaps wish he’d never met me

It had been sheer luck that we had met....

In fact, if Jimin's car hadn't broken down right outside our home on that cold December night, I wouldn't have even met Taehyung. A great cosmic shift, somewhere some butterfly flapped its wing a certain way and suddenly, Jimin’s car ran over a thumbtack and his phone was dead so while he tried to fix the damage , Taehyung just had to knock on our home and I had been the one to open it.

Boom. That was it. Love at first sight.

I had been a high school kid and he had been barely nineteen. Fresh faced and cheerful , the struggling idol from a small company. He hadn't been surrounded by fans or chased by saesangs. He hadn't had security tailing him. No daesangs, BBMAs, or acting awards. No blockbuster movies to his credit , no chart-bursting songs either .

And I had fallen in love with that version of him.

The hardworking, talented young man who worked twice as hard as anyone around him.

That's right. You've loved him for fifteen years. So it's understandable that you're upset. Now, maybe you can move on too. Go on a few of those blind dates that Jiyoung is always setting you up on. Go live your life instead of being a zombie. Get a hair cut. Dye your hair red. Do something to get your life in order.

"I still find it hard to believe that he would want a divorce. Jangmi yah... did you tell him you forgave him? Tell him you wanted to try again..." My mother said again and the distress in her voice was equal parts heartbreaking and exasperating.

"Mother, I don't want to try again . We aren't married anymore. It's over, whatever it was between us. "

Whatever it was.

How cruel, to have all that love, all that affection reduced to a phrase like that.

What a pity.

"But what about Hoshi? He needs his father..." My mother cried out and I willed myself not to snap. She means well, I thought miserably.

"He has a father. Taehyung is an excellent father and you know that. Don’t start that again.”

My mother sighed.

"I still feel that this wouldn’t happen if you tried a little bit. He’s a good boy. Such a good boy and you could never do anyone better. Why are you so full of pride, Jangmi... so prideful...you should be a little humble. Think of the kind of man he is...where would you find a man like that ? And moreover .... Taehyung loves you. i know he does." My mother said stubbornly.

I sighed, feeling my fingers shake from the effort not to scream. I wasn’t strong enough to have this conversation with her. Not now. Possibly never. Taehyung did love me. Had never made any effort to hide it. But sometimes, love wasn’t enough. It just wasn’t.

And I wanted to yell at my mother she was at least partially to blame for me walking out on Taehyung.

My father had left us for another woman , when I was twelve. I had seen the toll it had taken on my mother and I just knew that I would never let a man do that to me. My mother had later confided in me that it wasn’t the first time. He had done it before. A lot of times. And my mother had always forgiven him. Let him back into our lives.

And one night, drunk on soju she had confided between hiccups, ‘ I wish I’d walked out the first time.”

And that had stuck with me.

Walk out the first time.

If he cheats on you , walk out the first time. Don’t stick around waiting for him to do it to you again. Walk out the first time.

And so I had.

“ Should I talk to him? Tell him you’ve changed your mind? “ My mother began and I felt my patience snap.

“No!! Could you just, for the love of God, stay out of this, ma? It’s over. Our marriage is over and it has been over for a long time. A piece of paper doesn’t really change that, does it? Its not my fault you can’t get over it but that’s a you problem. And you need to fix it yourself. “ I shouted.

My mother immediately recoiled, eyes shuttering down.

“Of course. You know the best. Who cares how anyone else feels, right, Jang Mi? You always know best.” She said softly, and I exhaled, shaken. There it was. The guilt trip. It was never ending.

Please... I just need to go now.” I moved to grab my bag, :” I need to go get ready for the meeting with the lawyers tomorrow. You can keep Hoshi with you tonight. I’ll come pick him up after I’m done and then I’ll drop him off at his father’s place.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With Taehyung and I, our break up hadn’t been terrible.

It hadn’t been terrible because our own penchant for being terrible had always been very minimal. We didn’t do swearing or fights or threats and it always annoyed our friends that we got along so well. That it was so easy for us to forgive and move on with each other . That we were the one couple who didn’t hold grudges or bring up past mistakes.

Which is why, when we did break up, none of our friends had tried to change our minds over it. They had accepted it rather calmly, shocked at first because it was so out of the blue but not opposed to the idea itself . They just trusted us to know the right thing to do because we were easily the most mature , the most level headed couple in the entire group. We were usually the sounding boards , the voice of reason in whatever petty conflict our friends were involved in .

So when it was us, needling a little advice, a little guidance, our friends had been woefully ill equipped to help. They had merely hummed and nodded and empathized. Maybe that was another reason I’d left. I hadn’t considered the alternative. No one had asked me to consider the alternative.

Our friends had watched us drift apart watched us break up, but they hadn’t really asked us why.

Because if something had caused Kim Taehyung and Jang Mi to break up, man, that must’ve been a really huge issue.

So the break up had been amicable. Gradual and slow but mostly amicable, eased by our mutual love for our son. We wanted him happy and he was happy when we were happy. So we put on a front, laughed and joked in front of him and let him have some semblance of normalcy in his life.

It wasn’t easy.

From him, it had been nothing but a mess of heated glances, touches laced with intent and eyes begging forgiveness . every gaze of his was a silent scream for a second chance that I was not at all ready to give.

Because for me, the raw hurt and anger and frustration that bubbled up every time I saw him , it had nowhere to go. It stayed churning in my gut, made everything bitter and unpalatable and I wanted to hurt him for hurting me. How could I think of a second chance when the hurt from the first, was still so fresh, an open wound festering.

Self esteem in tatters, I had hated him fiercely.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The meeting was at his company, and I arrived at nine in the morning, with a few more minutes to spare. I knew the place like the back of my hand, was here at least once a week either to pick or drop Hoshi off and I knew that the conference room in the third floor was sound proof and cut off from the rest of the building for extra privacy.

Which was a little too late because I’d found two tabloid newspapers waiting outside my apartment this morning.

I opened the door carefully, surprised to see Taehyung sitting in one of the chairs, bent over a sheaf of paper on the table and next to him a leggy girl in a small skirt hovered, fingers resting lightly on his shoulder, bent at the optimum angle to show him her curves.

I sighed, looking away.

It was way too early for this.

“Mia!” Taehyung’s voice made me look up, and I watched as he stood up, pushing the chair away and moving to me . He was easily the most good looking man in the country. And he looked so good at thirty five that it was impossible to look away from him.

He was dressed in a pale blue shirt and black slacks and it never amazed me, how good clothes fit him.

I took in the broad shoulders, thick arms and the lean waist, the carefully styled hair and the breathtakingly beautiful face and sighed when he kept coming closer, hands held out. .

Of course, the customary hug.

i let him wrap his arms around me, my face buried in the comforting warmth of his body, the scent of his cologne filling my brain . He always smelled so good it made my heart hurt. I tried not to let myself get carried away. Tried to remind myself that this wasn’t anything more than a.....

A facade ? Or was it? Was his affection genuine?

Was I just too cynical?

I shook my head, pulling away and smiling a little at the genuine venom in the leggy girl’s face.

“Are you okay? Where’s Hoshi?” Taehyung brushed the hair off my face, eyes warm and I wondered if he’d forgotten we were here to get a divorce.

Whenever we met, Taehyung acted like we were still together.

No, that wasn’t it.

He just didn’t act like we had broken up. He was affectionate and open and cooperative. It always left me in a sort of limbo, unable to navigate our relationship with clear boundaries. There were no line to stop myself from crossing, because he just didn’t draw them.

“ Ms. Lee says we just have to go over the details like the alimony and the custody and the division of assets and then we can just proceed. Get it all finalized. “ He said casually, when I moved away and sat on the chair opposite him.

“Okay .” I said casually.

He smiled and turned back to the girl next to him.

“I’ll join you after the meeting Lisa.” he gave her a nice wide smile and the girl practically bloomed under the attention before bowing curtly in my direction. I watched her walk away, slightly amused.

“Bit younger than your usual type.” I commented , glancing at him. He gave me a look.

“I’m not dating her.” He shrugged.

“Does she know that?” I retorted.

It was dumb. Uncalled for. I was being a bitch, really but the urge to evoke some kind of reaction from Taehyung was something I’d never really out grown. I liked getting under his skin.

Taehyung sighed and gave me a little smirk.

“Are you jealous, Mia mine?” He teased.

It felt a little like someone had dug a nine inch dagger straight into my heart.

That stupid nickname.

God I couldn’t bear it.

Swallowing i looked away.

“Sorry. “ he said quietly, a few seconds later.

I nodded curtly.

“Don’t do it again.” I said hoarsely.

“Why not?” He whispered gently.

I groaned.

“Taehyung... “

“it’s just a name...why does it bother you so much?” He whispered.

“The same reason you’re asking me for a divorce.” I said softly.

He blinked.

“Mia...”

“Because we both know its time to stop.” I said quietly. “ Stop dancing around each other , stop doing...whatever it is we’ve been doing these past two years and give our relationship a name. “

“I’m not very fond of labels.” He shrugged. I glared at him.

“Well tough luck. Labels are good. Labels are great. They let you draw boundaries. “ I retorted.

“You sound like you’ve had enough of me.”

“Well, haven’t you had enough of me?” I snapped.

“Not even close.” He leaned forward gently, eyes pinning me to the table with a gaze so strong he may as well have used his body. And it didn’t help that two years wasn’t enough time to forget how it would feel if he had used his body. How it would feel to be stretched out on that table, him on top of me, hands working my clothes open, lips kissing their way down my jaw.

I could almost taste him, taste the minty freshness of his breath, feel his tongue in my mouth, the hardness of him inside me. My thighs clenched because I hadn’t gotten laid in two fucking years and even if i did, no one would ever compare to the man in front of me.

“Mr. Kim? Mrs. Kim? “

The lawyer’s voice broke the spell and i straightened, swallowing. Ms. Lee had walked in , and I watched her close the conference door behind her before locking it gently.

She was young, dressed in a business suit , a no nonsense bun and had small round framed glasses. She gave me a nice smile, shook hands with us both and placed her briefcase on the table before glancing between us.

“Shall we begin?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s Note : its gonna be a bumpy ride.

#taehyung angst #taehyung smut #taehyung fics #bts fics #taehyung fanfic #bts smut #bts fic #bts fanfic

259 notes · View notes

inevitably-johnlocked · 3 years

Note

heeeey any insecure!john?

Hi Nonny!

Ahhhh, you know I’ve collected fics over the years but I’ve mixed them up with the Sherlock ones, so I think I’ll start anew and start fresh! I know I’ve missed a lot when I pulled them out of the old lists, so forgive me! Hope you enjoy what I’ve got here for you!

As always, Lovelies, please add your insecure John fics!!

INSECURE JOHN

See also:

BAMF! But Insecure John

Insecure / Awkward John or Sherlock (Jan 2019)

Concussions And Good Old Fashioned Awkwardness by Belldere (K+, 894 w. || Humour, Hospitals, Mild John Whump, Misunderstandings, Platonic Relationship, Concussions, Not-Gay John, Possessive Sherlock) – When John lands himself in hospital... again, all he wants is to just get out of there as soon as possible, too bad his doctor has other ideas about where John may be getting his injuries. Good thing concussions make everything strangely funnier.

I Was Wrong by AllesandraQuartermaine (K, 1,496 w., 1 Ch. || TGG AU, Friendship, Hospitalization / Injury, John’s Self Esteem, Sleepy Sherlock) – Sherlock and John have a conversation a few days after the pool face off with Moriarty. And John hears something quite surprising.

Hell or High water by bluefire301175 (E, 2,250 w., 1 Ch. || PWP, Frottage, Alley Sex, First Person POV John, Case-ish Fic, Mutual Pining, Bed Sharing) – John wants. Sherlock wants. Plain and simple.

Not My Proudest Moment by charlock221 (K, 2,695 w., 1 Ch. || Lunar New Year, Mild PTSD / Panic Attack, Coping Mechanisms, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort) – John tries his best not to get in the way of Sherlock's cases, but when the vivid noises of fireworks unnerve his senses and begin to bring back unwanted memories of Afghanistan, he cannot help but to hope Sherlock will notice and help him before things go too far.

Closeted by Sexxica (E, 2,762 w., 1 Ch. || Trapped in a Closet, Panicking Sherlock, Hand Jobs, Coming in Pants, Awkward Conversations, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Fluffy Ending) – An improvised hiding spot and a bit of accidental voyeurism leave John and Sherlock in an awkward position.

The General Idea by agirlsname (T, 3,022 w., 1 Ch. || Retirement, Promise of Forever / Proposal, POV John, First Kiss, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Soft Sherlock, Idiots in Love, Crying / Emotional Sherlock, Love Confessions) – After twenty years of friendship, John is used to Sherlock acting weirdly. But the news Sherlock finally brings himself to deliver change the carefully built dynamics between them, and John realises it's time to act.

Paranoia by Ewebie (M, 3,789 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Drinking Games, Scotland Yard Gang, Jealous / Possessive Sherlock, Inappropriate Questions, Embarrassed John, Matchmakers) – John and Sherlock join the gang of Scotland Yard for a night of drinking, and it gets a bit personal and revealing.

Coldness/Heat by agirlsname (E, 3,790 w., 1 Ch. || Cuddling & Snuggling, Body Heat, New Year’s Eve, PWP, Bedsharing, Frottage) – The inn is booked up on New Year's Eve. The train home is cancelled because of the snow. The only option is to sleep in the non-heated guest room of a client, and John and Sherlock are freezing. You know where this is going. Part 1 of New Year's Kiss

The Oolong Disaster by unicornpoe (T, 4,151 w., 1 Ch. || John’s Beard, Fluff, Humour, Frustrated Sherlock, John Takes Care of Sherlock, Case Fic-ish, Pining Sherlock, First Kiss, Possessive Sherlock) – John has a beard. Sherlock has a panic attack.

Afghanistan in Baskerville by Amaya Ramiel (K+, 4,357 w., 1 Ch. || THoB Fic, Hurt/Comfort, Drugged John, PTSD / Panic Attack, Hallucinations, Worried Sherlock, John’s Past, Friendship) – What if John hadn't seen the hound when Sherlock trapped him in the lab? What if instead, his very real nightmares of the war had materialized all around him? Trapped and drugged, John can't tell what's real and what's not. How will Sherlock react?

Overture by Kate_Lear (M, 4,435 w., 1 Ch. || First Kiss / Time, Friends to Lovers, Angry John, Introspection, Dev. Rel., Embarrassed / Insecure Sherlock, Morning After, Bed Sharing, Cuddles / Limpet Sherlock) – A short snippet on how John and Sherlock might have got together.

What You Are Worth by Lastew (T, 4,488 w., 1 Ch. || Observant but Insecure John, Friendship, Crime / Case Fic) – John helps Sherlock with a case, but he questions his real value to Sherlock.

Let Down by Gandalf3213 (K+, 4,505 w., 2 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, John Whump, Insecure John) – John truly is sorry for letting Sherlock down. The only thing he wanted to do was finish the case, but bleeding out in a dark alley makes it harder for him to pursue that murderer running out of sight.

Sherlock and John Go Clubbing by wendymarlowe (E, 4,716 w., 3 Ch. || Clubbing, Dirty Talk, Dancing, Coming Untouched, Coming in Pants, Bi John, For a Case, Friends to Lovers, Flirting, Sherlock is Lost for Words, Sexy John, Mutual Pining, Possessive John, Floor Sex/Hand Job/Frottage) – John pinched the bridge of his nose - even for Sherlock, this was a new level of no bloody boundaries. “You want me to go with you to a gay club, wait around twiddling my thumbs while I let you get pawed by a criminal, then out-flirt him and talk you into coming home with me instead?” Part 32 of John and Sherlock's Kinky First Times

Pillow Talk by scullyseviltwin (M, 5,183 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S3, Angsty Fluff, Pillow Talk, Bed Sharing, Worried John, First Time Morning After, Soft Sherlock, Sexuality Discussion, Love Confessions, Kisses and Cuddles) – John has been looking at Sherlock for ages, it feels like.

Welcome Home, John by slashscribe (G, 5,504 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S3, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Awkwardness, Stabbed Sherlock, Protective Sherlock, Panic Attack (Sherlock), Self Esteem Issues, Love Confessions, First Kiss) – When John moves back to 221B, he thinks he’s the broken one, but after a while, it becomes clear that he might not be correct.

An Interpretation of Viewing Habits by akitsuko (E, 6,653 w., 1 Ch. || Porn Watching, Masturbation, Anal, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss / Time, Declarations of Love, Jealous Sherlock, Fantasizing, John in Denial / Internalized Homophobia, Bottomlock, Pining Idiots, Sherlock Has No Boundaries, Cockblocking Sherlock) – John watches porn. It's a perfectly normal thing to do.If every video he watches happens to feature actors with remarkable physical similarities to his flatmate, well, that's no one's business but his own. Or: John is in denial, until his infatuation with Sherlock is impossible to deny anymore.

Inconvenient Timing by TheMadKatter13 (M, 7,072 w., 1 Ch. || Omegaverse || Omega John/Alpha Sherlock, Romance, Public Heat, Scared John, Protective / Worried / Possessive Sherlock, Post-TBB AU, Caring Sherlock, Pre-Slash, Happy Ending) – When John's heat failed to appear three times in a row after he was shot, he figured it was just another broken piece off the broken toy soldier. So he was rather surprised to feel it start out of the blue...and not at all pleased with it starting while he was on the tube.

Sometimes When We Touch by kedgeree (M, 7,755 w., 6 Ch. || Post-TRF, First Kiss/Time, Inappropriate Giggling, Romance, Friends to Lovers, Virgin Sherlock, John Whump, Touching) – John might be touching Sherlock a little more often than is strictly necessary. Sherlock probably hasn't even noticed. Right...?

Victim, Bait, Hero, Friend by KimberlyTheOwl (T, 7,887 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TGG Epilogue, Angst, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Past Kidnapping / Torture / Implied Rape, Panic Attacks, Worried / Possessive Sherlock, Lestrade is a Good Friend) – Some insights into why John was perfectly willing to throw everything away for a chance to kill Moriarty at the pool. Trauma, ugliness, and finally healing. Some nice supporting work by Lestrade as well.

Every Night I Look for You by destinationtoast (E, 8,377 w., 1 Ch. || POV John, Post-TRF, Angst, Mystery, Unsafe Sex, BAMF John) – Every night, John looks for familiar hints of Sherlock in the men he meets in bars, and he does with them all the things he wishes he’d done before. Eventually, he stumbles into a situation that Sherlock would know how to handle, and John must decide whether he can handle it without him.

Just Like That by sussexbound (E, 8,442 w., 1 Ch. || First Time/Kiss, Frottage, Virgin Sherlock, French Kissing, Anal, Emotional Lovemaking, Enthusiastic Consent, Tenderness, Crying John, Bathing/Washing, Insecure John, Toplock) – John doesn’t want to talk anymore. He wants. Oh dear god, how he wants. For the first time in what feels like years he WANTS.

Unwasted by patternofdefiance (E, 8,966 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S3 / S3 Fix-It, Developing Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Angelo’s, Fluff, First Time, Anal, Cum Play, Flashbacks to ASiB, Mutual Pining, Love Confessions, Bottomlock, Cuddles, Multiple Orgasms, BJ’s, Bed Sharing) – John finds it three months after he's moved back. He's on the hunt for something to make for dinner, is scrounging through the cupboards, when he happens upon the graveyard of pasta boxes Sherlock still seems to create when left to his own devices. Behind seven boxes of pasta, all almost completely empty, is a dark-glassed bottle, with a paler coat of dust. It's unopened. John's face falls slack when he sees it, instantly recognises it, and for a long moment he just stands and looks at it.

Ravish Me by amalnahurriyeh (E, 10,025 w., 1 Ch. || UST / RST, Makeup / Lipstick, Sympathetic Sally, Experiments, Pining John, First Kiss, Face Fucking / BJ’s, Cuddling) – Sherlock is experimenting with patterns of wear on lipstick in daily encounters. John is going to go insane.

A Is For Aftermath by ElvendorkInfinity (T, 10,567 w., 1 Ch. || Injury / Whump, Hurt/Comfort, Friendship/Pre-Slash/Bromance/Platonics, Hallucinations, Introspection, Insecure / Worried John, Big Brother Mycroft, Alternating POV, Anxious Sherlock, Self-Deprecating, Mildly Possessive Sherlock, 3G Moment) – John is still hallucinating, Sherlock cannot sleep, and Lestrade has a new case for them. But will life at 221B ever be able to return to normal? Epilogue to M is for Moriarty.

London Gods by a_different_equation (E, 11,092 w., 5 Ch. || American Gods Fusion || Magical Realism, Sex Magic, True Love, PTSD John, First Kiss/Time, Marathon Sex, Sensuality, Genie Sherlock, Human John, Internalized Homophobia, Star-Crossed Lovers, Soul Mates) – Sherlock Holmes is a jinn who does not grant wishes. However, when Dr. John H. Watson, recently returned from the war in Afghanistan, gets into his cab by "accident", it might not even need magic to grant both men their deepest wish: love.

On The Fence by BeautifulFiction (T, 13,770 w., 1 Ch. || Fencing, Case Fic, First Kiss, Insecure John, Pining John, Hug, Greg Finds Out) – The murder of the King's College fencing champion leads to revelations about Sherlock's past. Will it be the point that tips them from friends to lovers, or will they remain on the fence?

A Silver Sixpence by _doodle (NC-17, 16,400 w., 2 Ch. || LJ Fic || For a Case / Case Fic, Fake Relationship, Humour, Romance, Marriage Proposal, Awkward Idiots, Cuddling, Touching, Kissing, Love Confessions, Bed Sharing, Friends to Lovers, Fake Until It’s Not, Schmoop and Fluff, Bottomlock) – “John, we need to get married. It’s for a case, not any romantic notions on my part pertaining to our partnership,” Sherlock said, with brutal honesty, and without even looking up.

Between Friends by SilentAuror (E, 18,036 w., 1 Ch. || Post S3, Alternating POV, Friends to Lovers, John in Denial, Abduction, Awkward Situations / Miscommunications, Porn With Feels, Blowjobs, Pining, Unrequited, Angst With Happy Ending) – Sherlock gets abducted. As John discovers him tied up naked in an empty storage facility and comes to rescue him, Sherlock's body has an unfortunate reaction which triggers a series of events. John is convinced that everything will be fine as long as they never discuss it. Sherlock isn't as sure...

Division by MrsNoggin (E, 19,542 w., 11 Ch. || Coffee Shop AU || First Kiss/Time, Fluff, Barista Sherlock, Clingy Sherlock, POV John, John’s Limp, Bed Sharing, Fluff, Sleepy Cuddles, Sensuality, Touching, Virgin Sherlock, Insecure John) – John likes mysteries. And every morning he dips into the local independent coffee bar with his newspaper and ponders another... one Sherlock Holmes.

A Life Well-Lived by Kate_Lear (E, 20,121 w., 1 Ch. || Original Male Character, Sherlock Woos John, Jealous Sherlock, Reluctant Bi-John, Past Abuse, Insecure John, Reassuring / Caring Sherlock, Protective Sherlock, Understanding Sherlock) – John got scared off men by an abusive past relationship. Sherlock has to try and woo him while not scaring him off with protective possessive rage.

Maintaining A Personal Life by Gingerhermit (E, 24,284 w., 6 Ch. || Alternating POV’s, Bisexuality, BAMF!John, Jealous Sherlock, Romance / Drama, Sort-of Case Fic, Peril & Angst, Love Confessions, Toplock, Soft Idiots in Love, Post S3) – Sherlock and John discover some interesting revelations about each other’s sexuality, which lead them both to question the assumptions they've made about one another for years. In the midst of their mutual discoveries, a dangerous psychopath looms on the side-lines who threatens to destroy their new beginning.

Nothing to Make a Song About by emmagrant01 (E, 36,833 w., 10 Ch. || Post-TRF, First Time, Reunion, Jealous John, Pining Sherlock, Romance, Angst with Happy Ending, Sherlock Has a Boyfriend) – When Sherlock returned from his faked death, John could not forgive him for the deception and broke off their friendship. Ten years later, John returns to London in search of yet another new beginning. Sherlock, not surprisingly, is waiting.

Turn Left at the Park by Glenmore (NR (E), 37,409 w., 28 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting / ASiP Divergence, Case Fic, Depression, Suicidal Ideation, Loneliness, No Mary, Possessive Sherlock, Fluff & Angst, Nightmares/PTSD, Sherlock Saves John, Sherlock Whump-ish, Doctor John) – So what would have happened if John hadn't walked through the park and met Stamford? What if, instead, he walked around the park and just went home?

Only To Be With You by SinceWhenDoYouCallMe_John (M, 40,768 w., 4 Ch. || Black Mirror / Future AU || Character Death, Future Technology, Sickness/Cancer/Illness, Heavy Angst with Happy Ending, First Person POV John, Pining John, Heart-Wrenching Angst) – I tell myself that next time I’ll come near this same place again. Wait around for the mysterious stranger in his coat to dash past me, hot on the heels of a new criminal in black. I think this all the way back to my Exit, planning where I’ll wait and what I’ll say when I see him. Scheming on how to get his name. It’s only once I reach the Exit Point door that I realize two hours and forty-five minutes have passed, and I realize that this won’t be the last time I Visit. It won’t be the last time at all.

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse by SilentAuror (E, 50,635 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S4/S4 Divergence, Case Fic, For a Case / Reverse Fake-Relationship, Conferences, Marriage Equality, Travelling / New York, Pride, Homophobia, Bottomlock, Marriage Proposal, John POV, Sexuality, Love Confessions, Emotional Love Making, Public Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Passionate Kissing, Needy/Clingy Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Touching / Hand Holding, Bed Sharing, Little Spoon Sherlock, Intense Orgasms) – John and Sherlock go to New York to attend a conference run by the National Defence of Traditional Marriage Coalition in order to investigate the potential bombing of the annual Manhattan Pride parade. As the conference unfolds, John finds himself repulsed by the toxic ideology being presented, which becomes relevent to his own unacknowledged issues and his friendship with Sherlock...

Never Change a Running System by Lorelei_Lee (E, 54,246 w., 18 Ch. || Pre-TRF, Romance, Humour, Drama, Sex Toys, Anal, Rimming, Masturbation, Frottage, Blow Jobs, Public Sex, First Kiss / Time, Virgin Sherlock / Loss of Virginity, Accidental Voyeurism, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Experiments, Naive Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Possessive Sherlock, Straight With an Exception John, Hand Jobs) – Sherlock discovers his sexuality – with far-reaching consequences for John.

The Thing Is by TSylvestris (E, 56,743 w., 21 Ch. || Case Fic, Dev. Rel., Anal/Oral, Blow Jobs, Meddling Mycroft, Drama, Romance, Humour, Casual Encounters, Pining Idiots, Possessive Sherlock, Orgasm Delay, Rough / Alley Sex, Public Sex, John Whump, Drugged John, Emotional Love Making, Awkward Relationship, Marriage of Convenience, Switchlock) – The problem with living with Sherlock, John thought, was that you never, never, ever knew the significance of anything. Like your flatmate's nose buried in your hair. Whilst you're in bed. Part 1 of Nitroglycerine

One Little Change by jadztone (E, 58,312 w., 12 Ch. || ASiB Divergence, Fake Relationship, Bed Sharing, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss / Time, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bi John / Gay Demisexual Sherlock, Switchlock, Alternating POV, Jealousy, Misunderstandings, Case Fic, Angst with Happy Ending, Emotional Love Making, Butt Plugs, Cuddles) – Our story begins right after John and Sherlock's first meeting with Irene Adler in September. It splits off into an AU that imagines them taking a case where they act as bait to hook a killer targeting closeted gays in secret relationships. In the weeks leading up to Christmas, many things happen that have our boys wondering if maybe they have a chance with each other. Then Irene fakes her death on Christmas Eve, and things get a lot more complicated - especially since they still have a killer to catch.

Isosceles by SilentAuror (E, 56,609 w., 7 Ch. || Post-S4, POV John, Original Male Character / Sherlock Dates Another Man, Love Triangle, Jealous John, Virgin Sherlock, Sexual Coaching, Angst, Romance, Domesticity, Unrequited Feelings, Miscommunication, First Kiss/Time, For a Case, Friends With Benefits, Bottomlock, Love Confessions, Spooning) – After solving a case for a major celebrity, Sherlock gets himself asked out. When John asks, he discovers that Sherlock has no intention of going, at least not until John agrees to coach him through whatever he might need to know for his date...

floating through a dark blue sky by Lediona (M, 58,966 w., 15 Ch. || Notting Hill AU || POV John, Celebrity Sherlock, First Date / Time / Kiss, Past Drug Addiction, Angst with a Happy Ending) – Of course, I’d seen his films and always thought he was, well, brilliant -- but, you know, a million miles from the world I live in. Or, when John is the owner of a travel book shop and the famous Sherlock Holmes stops in one day.

The Book of Silence by SilentAuror (E, 60,056 w., 2 Ch. || S4 Fix It / Post S4, Virgin Sherlock, Rosie / Parentlock, Domesticity, Fluff, Praise Kink, Sex Toys, First Person POV) – As spring blooms in London, John and Sherlock begin to take new cases and cautiously negotiate this new phase of life with John living at Baker Street again. Despite how well it's all going, John struggles to forgive himself for the way he treated Sherlock following Mary’s death as well as trying to figure out how to finally put his long-time feelings for Sherlock into words. Part 1 of The Book of Silence/Rosa Felicia

Scars by SilentAuror (E, 60,494 w., 5 Ch. || Rape / Non-Con / Abuse, Gaslighting, Manipulation, Dub Con Elements, Homophobia, Angst With Happy Ending, Mary is Not Nice) – S3 rewrite, showing Mary’s manipulation of John as he realizes his love for Sherlock. Mary is not having it.

The Bells of King's College by SilentAuror (E, 64,019 w., 5 Ch. || Post-S4, Missed Opportunities, Angst with Happy Ending, Fake Relationship, Case Fic, John POV, Jealous John, John in Denial, Travelling / Holidays, Virgin Sherlock, Wedding Proposals) – It's only been two weeks since Eurus Holmes disrupted their lives when Mycroft sends John and Sherlock to Cambridge to pose as an engaged couple at a wedding show in the hopes of solving six unsolved deaths...

White Knight by DiscordantWords (M, 69,840 w., 13 Ch. || S4 Compliant/Post S4, Marriage For a Case, Jealous John, Pining John, Janine / Sherlock Fake Relationship, Serial Killers, Case Fic, Undercover as a Couple, Weddings, John is a Mess, Misunderstandings, Wedding Planning, Jealousy, Drunkenness, Love Confessions, Angst with Happy Ending) – Green. The word green was used to convey a great many things. Illness. Envy. Inexperience. Standing there amidst Janine's chattering bridesmaids, watching Sherlock furrow his brow and study fabric swatches, watching him smile and simper and flirt, John thought it a remarkably apt colour choice. Because he felt quite sick to his stomach, he feared the source of said sickness might very well be jealousy, and he had absolutely no idea at all what to do about it. Or: Sherlock needs to fake a relationship for a case. He doesn't ask John.

Just To Hold You Close by sussexbound (E, 70,841 w., 18 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting, Sherlock POV, ASD Sherlock, PTSD John, Demisexual Sherlock, Bisexual John, Cuddling/Snuggling, Platonic Cuddling, Enthusiastic Consent, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, First Kiss/Time, Sexual Tension, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Cuddle Negotiations, For a Case Until It Isn’t, Hair Petting, Sexual Negotiation, Anxiety, Trust Issues, Slow Burn, Panic Attacks, Frottage, Hand/Blow Jobs, Referenced Self Harm / Abuse / Suicidal Ideation, First Kiss/Time, Anal) – When a woman is murdered and the last person to see her alive is recently invalided army vet turned reluctant (and prickly) professional cuddler, John Watson, Sherlock Holmes is pulled into a world of intimacy and intrigue he never could have imagined. John is a conundrum and mystery: frank yet reserved, tender yet angry, open yet afraid. Sherlock is instantly drawn into his orbit, and begins to feel and desire things he never has before.

Secrets and Revelations by Hisstah (E, 83,535 w., 9 Ch. || Sentinel / Guides Omegaverse AU || Adventure, Violence, Anal / Oral, Omega!John / Alpha!Sherlock, Case Fic, Politics, Mild DubCon) – Dr John Watson has some major secrets that he's kept from his flatmate, Alpha Sentinel Sherlock Holmes. Now the Sentinel Tower is after him. Can John stay out of their hands until he can reveal his secrets to Sherlock? Part 1 of Secrets and Revelations

Kintsukuroi by sussexbound (E, 91,823 w., 20 Ch. || S4 Compliant / Post-TLD, Grief / Mourning, PTSD, Internalized Homophobia, Therapy, Past Abuse, Alcohol Abuse, Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Anxiety, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, Cuddling, Suicidal Ideation, Masturbation, Minor Character Death, Sexting, Frottage, Inexperienced Sherlock, Rimming / Anal / BJ’s, Emotional Turmoil, Finding Each Other, John’s Self Esteem Issues) – “I love you.” Sherlock sees the words hit John with almost physical force. He reels back a little, jaw twitching and eyes filling. “I love you,” he repeats, a little softer, a little more gentle, as earnest as he possibly can. Because they’ve been teetering on the brink of this thing for years, and it had become painfully obvious over the last few months that they were at a tipping point. This had to happen. Now it has. Now they can see where they end up. The tears in John’s eyes spill over, and he wipes at them angrily. “Do you even know what that means?”

The Cost of a Wish by slashscribe (E, 102,493 w., 12 Ch. || xxxHolic Fusion || Spirits / Ghosts and Magic, Love Confessions, Slow Burn, Soul Mates / Fated Lovers, Adventure, Immortal Sherlock, Powerful John, POV John, Frottage, Wish Granting, Angst with Happy Ending, Nightmares) – John has been plagued by a secret his entire life that has made him feel hopeless until he meets a mysterious, seemingly omniscient man named Sherlock Holmes who owns a wish-granting shop. Their meeting sets off a series of inevitable events that will change the course of both of their lives forever.

Maintenance and Repair by patternofdefiance (E, 106,650 w., 71 Ch. || Future AU, Augmentation || Augmented John, Depression, Body Modification, Slow Burn, Worldbuilding, Sci-Fi, Self-Care, Body Dysmorphia) – John wants to explain the rush of sensation and data, which is just another form of sensation (or is it the other way around?). John wants to say: Augmentation circuits report temperature, pressure, various forms of quantitative input. Sudden changes are reported as pain, since sudden changes are dangerous, and pain is the quickest way to encourage reflexive extraction. But all John can manage is, “Nng.” Because this sudden touch is not reporting as pain. Part 2 of STATIC

A Study in Winning by Jupiter_Ash (E, 106,658 w., 11 Ch. || Tennis AU || John POV, Dirty Talk, Mutual Pining, Misunderstandings, Happy Ending, Sherlock Speaks French, Switchlock, Wimbledon) – John and Sherlock are professional tennis players and it’s Wimbledon. One is a broken almost was at the end of his career, the other an arrogant rising star tipped for greatness. It should have been a straightforward tournament. It really should have been. How were they to know that a chance encounter would change everything? Part 1 of Tennis

Shatter the Darkness (Let the Light In) by MojoFlower (E, 109,683 w., 23 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Genie/Djinn AU || Magical Realism, Kidnapping, Genie Sherlock, First Kiss / Time, Case Fic, H/C, Angst, Clubs, John Whump, Mild DubCon, Hand / Blow Jobs, Torture) – Fairy tales are for those who remember how to dream; not John Watson, broken and hiding from his bleak future in a beige bedsit. But then he discovers a lamp and finds himself in the dangerous riptide of an enigmatic man whose very existence is unbelievable, murder charges against his sister, and the growing pains of feeling alive once more.

The Burning Heart by May_Shepard (M, 119,150 w., 21 Ch. || Canon Divergence, Post-TRF, John’s Sexuality, S3 Rewrite, Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, POV John Watson, John’s Gay) – When Sherlock dies, John Watson feels like his life is over too. He’s completely shut down, until Mark Morstan, a new nurse at John’s medical clinic, catches his attention, and helps him uncover the long buried truth of his attraction to men. Although he’s certain he’ll never get over Sherlock, John plans to move on, and build a new life with Mark, unaware that Sherlock is not quite as dead as he appears, and that Mark is hiding secrets of his own.

The Adventure of the Silver Scars by tangledblue (NR [M], 142,458 w., 41 Ch. || S3 Fix-It, Post-HLV/ Post-TAB / Canon Compliant, Case Fic, No Baby, Angst, Humour, UST, Slow Burn, Angry John, Reconciliation, Not Nice Mary / Leaving Mary, Dependent Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Caretaker John, Fist Fights, It’s An Experiment, Virgin Sherlock, Dancing, Drugging, John Whump, Pet Names, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Scars) – It’s been thirteen months since Mary shot Sherlock and John finds he’s still pissed off about it. Sherlock had thought everything was settled: John and Mary, domestic bliss. But when John turns up at Baker Street with suitcases, the world’s only consulting detective might not be prepared for the consequences. A new case. Some old scores to settle. Certain danger. Concertos, waltzes, and whisky.

Proving A Point by elldotsee & J_Baillier (E, 186,270 w., 28 Ch. || Me Before You Fusion || Medical Realism, Insecure John, Depression, Romance, Angst, POV John, Sherlock Whump, Serious Illness, Doctor John, Injury Recovery, Assisted Suicide, Sherlock’s Violin, Awkward Sexual Situations, Alcoholism, Drugs, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Body Image, Friends to Lovers, Hurt / Comfort, Pain, Big Brother Mycroft, Intimacy, Anxiety, PTSD, Family Issues, Psychological Trauma, John Whump, Case Fics, Loneliness, Pain) – Invalided home from Afghanistan, running out of funds and convinced that his surgical career is over, John Watson accepts a mysterious job offer to provide care and companionship for a disabled person. Little does he know how much hangs in the balance of his performance as he settles into his new life at Musgrave Court.

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #insecure john #my fic recs #Anonymous #long post

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shtern-and-art · 3 years

Text

In The Dark – a cryptid AU about Bad and Skeppy – part 1.

All text is captioned under the cut!

BACKGROUND

Story is set somewhere in the 90s – neon colors and the brink of major improvements in lgbtq+ status at least in US.

The place we’re in is a small nameless town near the forest, and let’s say it’s the US, but in my mind it has an old European country feel to it too. At least in the small old towns like this. With old buildings, and paved roads, and steep roofs, and everything.

The forest is very dense and not much light gets in the deeper parts of it, so it’s called The Dark Forest which may sound quite unoriginal. But no one really calls it that. With how many weird things happen in that forest, among the locals, it is mostly referred to as “bad forest”. To the point that it’s basically the common name for it now.

SKEPPY

Skeppy is a Thing. A supernatural thing. The sort of thing that, unlike most spn things, hangs out around humans a lot. Socialized thing. Because, due to his spn nature, he has a compulsion/tendency (and desire) to create small mayhem and chaos around himself, disrupt communities. And also because he’s a changeling and initially was brought up by people.

But the way he is, he can’t stay living in one place/town for too long, always having to bounce before people clock him, or stuff gets too intense.

He’s name is still Zak, it’s the one his human parents gave him. However, he officially changed it to something different in all records after leaving home at 18, cuz names are important for creatures, and having his real one out there might be dangerous.

Generally, he still goes by Skeppy.

Skeppy can consciously do minor mimicry and illusions (by light bending)/cause light dissociation/confusion in people and creatures around him/do other minor mind tricking fae stuff.

He is drawn to nature and shiny things, although nature can be just a potted plant, and a shiny thing – anything from a gemstone to pieces of broken glass. Skeppy doesn’t know this yet, but I’m pretty sure he can find more valuable gems and metals by pure instinct. But he never explored it properly, and he just thinks that he likes collecting pretty rocks. Skeppy has at least 3 of them on himself at any time.

Evidently, he is not fully aware of everything about himself, and he didn’t have much contact with other creatures like him.

He is just. Living his life. Going from city to city, trying to have a good time.

THE STORY

Skeppy comes to a new little town near the forest. Forests are good for him, even if he still prefers to be around people.

And he’s just chilling, trying to settle in and shake things up a bit, roaming the woods to kick up old local rumors about a werewolf.

Speaking of, the town has a LOT of old rumors with the fleur of a little-town-near-the-woods creepiness to them. Like a werewolf, yeah, and crazy cults, and people making sacrifices in the woods, all that jazz.

But it’s all alright, all quiet now. All those things are always told by an uncle of a cousin of a grandpa’s friend, and, you know. Older people. Not a lot of townsfolk believe in these stories nowadays.

So Skeppy freely roams for a while: both the town, and the woods.

BACKGROUND

Local tree logging business is starting up again – twice removed cousin of the old owners brother’s son inherited the company. He’s fresh out of college, and came to bring Industry and Movement back to the little town he visited couple summers as a kid.

Some decades ago the wood export was what kept the town moving and bustling. It chipped away at the forest for many decades, bringing jobs and new people and everything.

But something happened back then, some shady business: perhaps money laundering gone wrong, or some out-of-town mafia dealings that came with the trades. That’s what the papers said at least. For a while, there were complaints of not safe work environment, and lawsuits flying, and rabid animal attacks happening on the outskirts of town (that’s where the werewolf rumors started).

But it’s been quite some time since then. It’s all settled now, old news, and the new generation doesn’t care much, and the twice removed cousin of the old owners brother’s son can start everything anew.

There’s hope and change in the air and the factories are getting upgraded.

THE STORY

So yeah, Skeppy roams the woods, and townspeople nowadays are starting to roam deeper in the woods too! Both because the woods came closer to the town again, and because people tend to… forget. Some young people, at least, who have nothing to remember or fear in the first place. Having all their hormones to fly, and baseball bats to swing, and beer cans to shoot.

The deeper woods are dark, there are a lot of good old trees in their prime time for logging, that make a lot of dark shadows to lurk in. And those are very nice for Skeppy, who can easily fuck with packs of teenagers and with elderly berry pickers. He can make them see things, and believe things, and prop up some fake cultist memorabilia on clearings and wolf fur in the bushes near the pass. And then he’d chat up the middle-aged workers at evenings, and watch it all unfold slowly, rumors spreading across town, giving Skeppy that little, small glow of joy, which that freaky, but harmless trickery always brings him.

It’s all going well and good, even better than expected! Even with that weird forest spirit Skeppy always felt lurking deeper in the woods. That thing was alright. Just there, watching. And Skeppy didn’t do anything too bad or disrespectful, he was pretty sure.

So, when the watching becomes following, and following becomes stalking and threatening, it… doesn’t feel right. Deep in the woods, deers and rabbits keep watching Skeppy’s back, and the trees are so tall it feels like the forest floor is the bottom of the ocean.

When stags stroll through the dark to you, carrying dead animals’ bodies on their antlers, that’s a pretty bad sign, right? Almost as bad as when the shadowy figure, that kept clop-clopping around you for the last couple of weeks, starts chasing you through the trees. And Skeppy just started setting up another “pagan ritual” site near the old berry picking trail!

Turns out, the forest spirit is a dang forest demon or something! And is also an asshole, who doesn’t want Skeppy (with his little True Detective stick figures and mayhem) on his territory.

(This is pretty much where the comic happens! And, yes, Skeppy also being a creature doesn’t mean much. Because Skeppy is too annoying, and too human-like to take seriously.)

So yeah, the Asshole In The Woods chases Skeppy out of them, but Skeppy doesn’t skip towns after that, oh no. He is a stubborn bitch, and he’s already settled, and he even found a small job… and unsettling and leaving is incredibly easy, yeah, but he DIDN’T DO ANYTHING WRONG. The Asshole In The Woods will see, he’ll understand. Skeppy is good at trick- well, talking himself out of trouble. Almost as good as he is at getting in it.

So, obviously, Skeppy keeps coming back to the woods whenever he can. And if the shadow demon asshole doesn’t come out to run him off immediately, he busts out his fake werewolf furs, props occult stick figures around, puts up tents like people were camping nearby, insults the trees, and duct tapes leaflets from local businesses on the them… Because irritating other creatures is just as fun as fucking shit up for people.

And this little turf-war settling is the most fun Skeppy had in a long, long while (possible death aside).

They meet up pretty regularly, getting various irritation and scare levels from each other. And the asshole shadow forest demon is creepy and all, but despite the big bad wolf attitude he never actually tries to kill or maim Skeppy. Or so it seems. So, it’s all going well. Yeah. Just better to lay off all the occult trolling, since it seems to make the forest asshole guy especially mad and uncomfortable.

(Basically this is the early trolling period, with Skeppy being annoying and pushing the boundaries, very close to how their videos of the time went).

And, again, Skeppy didn’t meet a lot of other cryptids, and the ones he found didn’t stick around for long. Because Skeppy is too much of a little shit, and “a low-tier human bootlicker”, anyway. So yeah, maybe Skeppy IS a little bit lonely. Been lonely for a while, now, hitchhiking around the country, never staying anywhere long enough to let people get that something is wrong in the air around him, or form any kind of lasting relationship. So what.

At least this asshole will not rat him out to anyone, or run away into the night with all Skeppy’s money. Probably.

So what’s the harm if sometimes they just argue instead of trying to one-up each other in magic trickery?.. Nothing bad will happen if, from time to time, they’ll just talk instead of shouting about who’s right and who should leave. It’s alright. It doesn’t even matter. No one in the town or spn world knows or cares about any of that. About both of them.

So they hang out more often. And if each time the forest asshole looks a little less scary, and more often takes his human-like shape, well. Maybe it’s just for convenience? Anyway, it’s easier to roll your eyes and turn your back on a fuming person, than a pissed off all-encompassing shadow, so Skeppy isn’t complaining. Especially if the person-shape is so nice to look at, too.

And Skeppy doesn’t know who exactly the forest asshole is, but in the town it’s always “bad forest this” and “bad forest that”. So, in Skeppy’s head, it becomes “Bad’s forest” – because he’s “the Bad in the Forest, heheh, get it, get it?”

Bad does get it. He isn’t as impressed as he should be by Skeppy’s genius puns and naming abilities though.

Speaking of Bad. He seems to be not really aware of what’s been going on in the town for the last couple decades. He tends to mostly hang out in the minds of forest animals, help them out a bit. Or nap. Nap a lot – days, weeks, years at a time, dissolved in the shadows. Unless someone (like can shooting teenagers, tree logging companies, or Skeppy) come around to bother his peaceful, dissociated, and at times even thoughtless existence.

Bad doesn’t mind though. Or so he says. The sleeping, that is. The people, them he really minds, people from the town especially. He really wants to be left alone by them. Discovering that Skeppy wasn’t from these parts of the country was one of the reasons Bad started to warm up to him.

The other major warm up was the first time Skeppy helped Bad scare off the messy annoying kids that were littering in the woods. But he convinced Bad to do it in a long winded, silly and fun (for them, not the kids :D) way. And after a while, teamed up like this, spooking and chasing people off, stopped being an irritating chore, and instead became something Bad looked forward to. Maybe even, put off his shadowy slumber for.

It’s been a long, long time since Bad actually wanted to stay awake like that. Wanted to do something, consciously, to talk to someone. That’s why he’s a “little rusty with all this communication thing”, he admits to Skeppy.

Bad never tells him how horribly bitter, and sad, and alone he was for years and years, huddled in the shadows. How he hid from that sadness, and from the people and their voices, and from the sound of their footsteps on the leaves. He ran away from them – in the soft, inhuman minds of the animals, and restless dreams, where his mind and sense of self stretched, and scattered across the forest, forgetting itself, and just living with all the living things. Of course, Bad doesn’t tell Skeppy about that. He always had his animals, and the secret springs, and little kids tying wishing charms on the branches of the old trees… Bad is fine. He just wants to be left alone.

Or at least wanted to. Because now, after staying awake for so long, it seems that he wants other things too. To troll snotty stuck up teens and kids. To learn more about new technology. To play with the shadows on the edges of clearings, and listen to the music player left behind by one of the kids he and Skeppy chased off.

And one day. One day sunbeams are dancing around the edge of the clearing deep in the woods, and Skeppy is lounging lazily in the grass, playing with his pretty glass shards, making light refract and reform through them, sending dozens of sun bunnies crawls and jump between the peaceful trees. That day Bad feels like his skin is warm, not cooled down by the shadows. And with that warmth – on his face, and in his chest – Bad finds that he can talk about it. That he can say it.

Bad tells Skeppy that back in the day, some decades ago (time is difficult for him to take note of)… that back then. He was a human. But he isn’t now, not anymore. Now he is part of the Forest. Kind of.

Because, see, something bad, really bad happened back then, and Bad got possessed by the, well. The spirit of the forest.

And he was living like this ever since.

Masterpost / first meeting /part 1 / part 2 / part 3

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darlingyanderes · 3 years

Note

Hun, do you have a rule list that we need to be aware of? I can't seem to find it and I have a req: how would you hc shinsou, bakugo, and midoriya when they realize that MC manipulated them into being a yandere? Like MC LEGIT guided them into being one. An addtl drabble for any of the aforementioned would be appreciated, but completely optional. Fem/GN reader please and thank you!! ❤❤❤❤

Oo that’s a good point, I don’t have a rule list! Thank you for reminding me, I’ll write one up :D Also thank you for your request!! I never really thought of a scenario like that?? Perhaps I’ll write a full-fledged scenario for it one day :O I’m sorry if this isn’t entirely what you wanted, I’m not so good at writing headcanons but I want to learn, so I hope you enjoy reading it :D

Warnings: manipulation, unhealthy mindset, murder, angst, suicide mention, knife play, delusional yandere

Words: 1085

Shinsou Hitoshi

I can see his MC slowly making him hate the people around her

First, she’d complain about them lightly

Then she’d slowly say more bad things about them until she’s straight up shit-talking them

When she finally brought it so far that Shinsou gets annoyed when their name is even mentioned, MC would one day go to his house in tears

Sobbing uncontrollably, she’d tell him that she someone hurt her so badly and that she was so scared

She wouldn’t even have to mention their names: Shinsou would already jump to conclusions that they did something to his beloved MC

That night, MC makes sure to rub it in what a terrible thing she went through, and how bad she feels

But most importantly how much she loves him and feels safe with him

When they decide to watch a series together, MC just so happens to choose a series where the protagonist commits murder to avenge the assault of his girlfriend

Let’s just say that series turned on a few light bulbs in Shinsou’s head

The next day, while MC is still sleeping, he’ll sneak out of the house and head over to the house of the people who he think hurt his MC

He uses his quirk on him to force them to kill themselves in the most painful way possible

When it’s all done, he removes any traces that he was there and returns home

By then, MC is awake and scrolling through her phone in bed

She looked at him with a slight twinkle of achievement in her eyes

In the most innocent voice she can muster, she says: “Where were you? I missed you”

“I just took care of the garbage.”

It doesn’t take very long for Shinsou to realise that MC had been lying

Not just lying, but manipulating him so much that he murdered people

Although it pains him deep inside, he knows what he has to do

Using his quirk, he tells MC to never speak to him again

He tells her that she should move away to a faraway place and start her life anew, so she can completely disappear from his life

Most importantly, he tells her to never manipulate anyone like that ever again

Although Shinsou tries to live a normal life after that, MC is never really gone from his head

She’ll always be there

Bakugo Katsuki

MC is a complete and total masochist, and just wants someone to hurt her already

Bakugo would be the perfect candidate for that

It starts out simple and innocent, Bakugo insulting MC and the MC playfully acting hurt

She starts purposefully creating scenarios so he could insult her, for example dropping things more often when he’s around

As Bakugo gets used to insulting her, his words become harsher

MC starts making it physical by giving him playful slaps on the wrist and pushing his shoulder lightly

To which Bakugo does the same, but harder

It all escalates into Bakugo hurting her worse and worse, to the point where her skin gets littered in bruises

Eventually he even gets knives and makes neat little cuts on her skin

He loves seeing your pained face and he just can’t get enough of the blood dripping from your wounds.

One night, as he was slowly slicing away at her skin as usual, he licks the blood off her skin.

Then, he suddenly gets an idea

He looks at her teary eyes with a sly smile

“You know what would look even better?”

He grips the knife tightly in his fist

He starts carving his name into her chest, ignoring her whimpers

When he’s done, he leans back and looks at his handiwork with a proud grin

“Now everyone knows you’re mine”

MCs manipulation was hard to realise, but Bakugo is smart

He figures it out eventually, when he realises that MC doesn’t even try to avoid punishments at all and doesn’t make any effort to hide the scars or his name carved on her chest

He’d be infuriated and disgusted

How can someone just use him like that?

He’d be so angry at her and drag her onto the bed by her hair

MC thinks it’s going to be one of their usual sessions, but it was far from that

Bakugo straddles her down on the bed and raises a knife high up in the air before suddenly plunging it deep down her chest, right into her heart

Time and time again he raises the knife and buries it down inside of her, until MC stops moving

When Bakugo snaps out of it, he’d feel so incredibly guilty, but he tells himself he did what he had to do

At least now he won’t be manipulated anymore

Midoriya Izuki

Honestly I don’t think Midoriya would be very hard to manipulate

He trusts his MC after all, she’s so cute and nice, why would she do stuff like that?

MC starts of very small, saying that she needs someone to walk her home at night because she’s so scared of people attacking her

She’d send him newspaper articles of women getting assaulted to make him worry about her going outside alone

Eventually Midoriya would be tagging along every time she stepped out of her house

Sleepovers become a very common thing, to the point where MC is basically living in his house now

MC telling him how safe she feels with him and that she should just move in here already

She says it in a joking manner, but Midoriya starts to realise that that’s what he wants too

He wants her to stay with him and never go outside again

After all, it’s so dangerous outside! What if she gets hurt by some weirdo?

One day, after a sleepover that lasted a few days longer than initially planned, MC would pack her things and go back home to get fresh clothes and stuff

Midoriya grabs her arm and stops her

He pulls her close in his arms and hugs her tightly

“No, I won’t allow you to leave”

I don’t think he’d ever really realise he’d been manipulated into becoming a yandere

Maybe the thought of it would cross his mind, but then he’d just think his darling did what she had to do to make fate come true

The manipulation was necessary for their happy ending, so he doesn’t mind

After all, now he has a cute little darling who loves him very much :)

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zodiakuroo · 3 years

Text

Break

issei matsukawa x gn!reader

read the warnings twice yeah?

cw: 18+, physical abuse, self-harm, mental illness blood, noncon, toxic relationship

It’s no big deal.

It’s like every other time. The faint scars that line your wrists are evidence of exactly how experienced you are in this act. And yet, it’s somehow different from every other time. The urges have been manageable. With your new healthy coping skills you’ve learned to deal with the pressures of life in ways that don’t involve you injuring yourself. You were doing well too. It’s tragic how just one bad day can destroy your resolve and take away all of your progress.

Your shaky hands hold the blade to your wrist but you can’t bring yourself to break the skin. It’s an oxymoron of sorts; you don’t have the strength to fight off the urge, nor do you have the strength to make the first cut. The pain scares you, it’s been so long you can barely remember how it feels. But the pain is also what you crave; the pain brings release.

You wonder what Mattsun would think. As faded as they are, he’s seen the marks. You know he has. He’s even showered them with kisses on the nights where he made love to you, slow and gentle, savouring every inch of your body no matter how flawed. You recall how he pressed his lips to your skin, how he whispered sweet praises bringing tears to your eyes while his long, thick cock was stretching you open and filling you up completely.

“My perfect fucking baby. Love you so fucking much.”

But he’s never asked you why or when and for that you’re grateful. That was the most shameful part of you. The part of you that you wish you could erase and forget about.

God, if he could see you now, in all your pathetic glory.

“C’mon do it” Your boyfriend’s deep voice echoes around the room. The sharp blade slips from your fingers, clinking against the sink. You didn’t even hear him come in.

Fresh tears start to well up in your already bloodshot, puffy eyes as the humiliation of being caught sets in.

“Issei I- It’s not- I’m not I-“

“Not what?” He should look horrified, disgusted even but instead his expression is blank. His arms are folded across his chest as he leans against the door frame, his large body taking up almost all of the space. . The lack of concern is almost terrifying.

“I’m just- I’m-“ You stammer. How could you possibly explain away what you were about to do? What words could you possibly say that would make him believe that this is not who you are. Not anymore.

“You’re cutting again.”

“No I’m not- I just-“ Rivers of tears run down your cheeks. Hearing him say those words is devastating. For the first time he’s acknowledging how weak you are and always have been.

“Do it. I wanna see.” He doesn’t seem fazed but your emotional display, looking more curious than anything else.

“I- I can’t.” You sniffle, training your eyes on to your feet, physically unable to look him in the face anymore.

“Why not? You used to do it all the time.” He refers to it so casually, downplaying the taboo nature of the habit you thought you broke.

“‘M not supposed to.” Your fingers fidget with the hem of your pajama shorts.

He’s supposed to tell you not to.

“Why not?” He furrows his brows just a little, almost looking genuinely confused. He stalks over to you until you’re rear is pressed right against the sink while Matsukawa’s intimidating figure looms over you.

“It’s bad. I shouldn’t hurt myself.” And yet, even as you say the words, you yourself don’t believe them.

“Aw you’re scared.” He laughs. “How cute.” In a split second his arms are around you, holding you in a tight embrace and kissing the crown of your head. The comfort of his presence is so warm and overwhelming, (especially in your fragile state) that you almost forget what you were doing in the bathroom to begin with.

Almost.

“You need this right? To feel better? Let me help.”

In a split second the warmth of Issei’s body is replaced with the cold, hard ceramic tiles of your bathroom floor. The force of him throwing you down leaves you feeling dizzy and rattled. A dull ache spreads across your skull, throbbing at the point where it made contact with the ground. Before you can find your bearings, he’s straddling you, trapping you in place with both your wrists pinned above your head. The first thing you see as your eyes come into focus is the glint of metal in the harsh light.

You open your mouth to protest but all that that comes out is a loud pained cry as Mattsun delivers 3 cuts to your right arm in quick succession. He is unfazed by the way you wriggle and squirm under his weight because he’s too mesmerised by the way the crimson rivulets flow from his cuts dripping on to the pure white tiles. All you can register is burning pain where he’s sliced you open, sobbing harder now.

Issei brings your bleeding arm above your head, licking and kissing your brand new wounds. He sinks his teeth into your inflamed skin, drawing even more blood from you, groaning at the bitter, metallic taste.

“See? I know what you need.” He smiles down at you with his teeth, lips and chin stained red.

Slowly, he begins rocking his hips and you feel an all too familiar bulge pressing against your abdomen.

“Issei stop!” You shriek trying to fend him off with your left hand.

It’s futile but he doesn’t like that you’re trying fighting him off when he only wants to help. His dick grows harder in his slacks, throbbing as he ruts on top of you ignoring your weak shoves and slaps. Mattsun isn’t satisfied. He needs you to bleed some more for him.

Your left wrist receives the same treatment as the right; swift slices and then he discards the razor. They’re deeper this time so more of the crimson fluid gushes from the wounds. It feels warm as it runs down you skin and drips onto your shirt and face, mixing with your tears.

Mattsukawa thinks you’ve never looked prettier. “Pathetic little wrist cutter.” He groans, moving faster, getting off on the way his cruel words make you cry even more.

“Can’t do anything right. Fuck.” He leans down to lick up the mingled fluids from your cheeks, ignoring the way you plead and beg him to stop. “It’s okay. I’m here.”

“Issei please.” You hiccup, powerless to stop him. He has both your hands clutched in one of his big ones and uses the other one to grip your cheeks, forcing your lips into an open mouthed pout.

He latches on to the cuts on your left arm and begins to suckle on them, drawing even more of you into his mouth. He never breaks eye contact while he humps your trembling body while his inevitable organism approaches. You’ve finally stopped screaming. Now you only whimper as the sobs rack your body.

He’s never seen you so broken, so defeated. The light in your eyes is gone. There is only despair and emptiness. He can’t believe you’ve hidden this part of yourself from him for so long. Matsukawa fucking loves you like this.

He leans over you, hips never stopping their motions and spits the fat glob of your blood and his saliva right into the gaping cavern of your mouth. It hits the back of your throat. You cough and sputter but the sounds are swallowed by Mattsun as he shoves his tongue into your mouth forcing you to taste yourself. He spits back whatever he licks up over and over, unbothered by the way your teeth knock against each other and the drool that runs spills from the corners of your mouths.

“Just ask me next time, yeah?” He pants from above you with his tongue hanging out of his mouth and bright red strings of bloody saliva connect your lips. “I’ll cut you up all you want.”

He begins to move more frantically the closer he gets. Meanwhile you can do nothing except lie there and take it. You can’t do anything but let him use your pain to fuel his pleasure. You can’t watch as his faces scrunches up as he floods his boxers with his cum because he’s broken you.

The hot, damp feeling of his crotch against you makes your skin crawl and bile rise in your throat. The stinging pain of the cuts has already faded into dull throb. You thought you had used up all your tears but when you see the new wounds that will turn into new scars, the floodgates open anew.

“There we go baby. ‘S all better now right?”

#tw blood #tw physical abuse #tw noncon #tw self harm #tw mental illness #yandere mattsun x reader #yandere matsukawa issei x reader

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alixofagnia · 4 years

Text

OpheThorn III: Back to Rambling

The Memory of Babel…Wow.

If nothing else, this book GOES. We’re dropped onto Babel just as lost, bewildered, and determined as Ophelia to get to the bottom of this ark. Boy, was it worth the wait! Babel is exquisitely written and, incredible as it sounds, even more treacherous than the Pole. The backbone Ophelia shows in this book is awesome! I love that she’s taken the measure of her worth—all the things she’s been through and survived in the previous novels—and come out resilient As Fuck. This book is definitely a penultimate novel. Dazzling as it is, much of it feels like groundwork being laid for the finale.

OpheThorn is less nuanced and ambiguous in Babel. While I feel there’s less to analyze, I do really love this pairing and I like writing about their dynamic. So, I’m just going to put my thoughts down and see what comes up!

[There will be spoilers]

[All fanart images credited to @patricialyfoung]

Intro

One of the things that drew me into The Mirror Visitor series is the relationship between Ophelia and Thorn. Theirs is not a traditional love story at all; in fact, it avoids clichés and instead plays about with two romantic tropes: enemies to lovers and marriage of convenience. The series spins these tropes anew by offering subtle signs of attraction (discussed here) and giving both characters antisocial tendencies, as well as—in Thorn’s case—possible ASD traits (discussed here).

When we left these two in Clairdelune, Thorn had just put his feelings on the table. Before she could give her response, however, they were separated under upsetting, even traumatic circumstances. Years later, we meet Ophelia again…

Ophelia

…and, oh dear, she is in a sorry state indeed. We find her disastrously operating a waffle stand during a kooky Animist festival for, of all things, clocks. Just what the girl pining for Thorn needs, right? All is not well with Ophelia. As Aunt Rosaline points out,

“No, you’re not fine. You don’t go out anymore, you eat any old thing, you sleep at any old time. You haven’t even been back to the museum.” [19]

Although her mother, sister, and to an extent Aunt Rosaline all believe Ophelia is wasting away, shutting herself in her room, she’s actually been quite busy. She’s been studying and developing working hypotheses about God and the Other: where they are, there she’ll find Thorn. She’s convinced of it. Working from obscure clues dropped in Clairdelune, Ophelia settles on Babel as the ark most likely to yield some answers, and when the chance to travel there appears, she wastes no time at all.

She. Is. Going.

Thorn

In Babel, Thorn has made a name for himself as Sir Henry, rising to become a Lord of LUX, the gatekeepers of Babel who serve a similar function to that of the Doyennes on Anima. He is commanding, magnetic, and aloof as ever. It is unsurprising to find that he has been playing close to the fire again. But the stress and tension of his investigative life on Babel is certainly heightened in a way that it wasn’t at the Pole.

We also learn that his nickname in Babel is the Automaton due to his unceasing energy. Thorn, thus, has dealt with the separation by predictably burying himself in work.

The Reunion

To Ophelia’s disappointment, the reunion with Thorn does not go quite as she had envisioned, and that’s because she hadn’t really envisioned past the goal of finding him [203]. Ophelia is very much a character who takes things one at a time as she’s confronted by them. When Thorn seems less than pleased to see her, she must consider all these Troublesome Feelings and why his underwhelming reaction upsets her.

The thing is Ophelia is waiting for Thorn to take the lead. But he already did, and she didn’t follow—at least, not in a way that he could understand. As previously discussed, Thorn does not function well with non-verbal cues. He needs to be explicitly told how someone else feels, or how he is making someone else feel, in order to know when to adjust his behavior. That can be quite flustering, especially for someone like Ophelia who struggles to vocalize her feelings exactly as they are.

“Is that it?” Ophelia murmured. “You have nothing more to say to me?”

“I have, actually,” Thorn muttered, not stopping all his connecting. […] “And you?” he finally asked, in turn. “You have nothing more to say to me?” [263]

She doesn’t. Thorn coldly dismisses her and continues to keep her at arm’s length, especially when he gives her a second chance to confess her feelings and she still refuses to take it.

Ophelia has social anxiety. She’s not exactly shy, she just gets tongue-tied and befuddled sometimes. It’s part of her make-up, but it doesn’t just happen around Thorn—there are plenty of instances where she has trouble expressing herself to those she cares about, such as Ambrose and Blaise in this novel, or Fox in Clairdelune. She even struggles to express basic gratitude toward Aunt Rosaline in Promise. Unlike them, Thorn challenges her to uncomfortable levels. Her feelings for him are complex and utterly foreign; she has no idea what to do about them.

Unfortunately, Thorn is fresh out of fucks to give over her see-saw act. He’s well-past this stage of confusion and cowardice she’s experiencing because he’s been in love with Ophelia since Promise (“I’m starting to get used to you”) and dealt with the ramifications of that in Clairdelune (“I don’t give a damn whether people find me suspect, as long as I am not so in your eyes.”).

Thorn does nothing half-heartedly. In no uncertain terms, he left her with the bluntest of blunt confessions (“By the way, I love you.”), which was a milestone in his emotional growth. It is clear that he does not love frivolously or casually in the way of his foil, Archibald, so for him, nothing has changed in three years. Likely, he thinks this should be obvious to Ophelia, and it probably should be at this point. He’s done all he can, after all, what more can she want? From his perspective, it’s Ophelia’s turn to make a move, not his.

Ophelia, though, functions differently. She has always needed verbal reinforcement and reassurance. That need has been heightened by their long separation. Essentially, they’re out of touch with one another and, in Ophelia’s case, she’s completely out of touch with herself, which is why when prompted by Thorn she doesn’t provide an answer, even though there could be only one reason for her going to Babel. Things finally come to a head when Thorn loses all patience and replaces her as his assistant. Ophelia is pissed.

“You weren’t available. Waiting for you would have slowed me down in my research.”

“Slowed you down? For your information, I was also doing research of my own. It might interest you to learn…”

“Of your own, that’s precisely the problem,” he interrupted her. “I advised you never to leave your division, and you were supposed to warn me if you discovered anything new. Nothing has changed, you still always make your decisions alone.”

“I wanted to help you,” Ophelia hissed, through gritted teeth.

“I don’t want any of your finer feelings. I need efficiency. If you don’t mind, I now have a flight to take.”

Ophelia’s blood ignited in her every vein. “You’re an egoist.” She had wanted to anger Thorn, and she knew, by the way he had frozen on the spot, that she had succeeded. All the shadows of the night suddenly seemed to have been drawn to the center of his face. He threw Ophelia a look so hard, she reeled from its impact.

“I am demanding, a killjoy, obsessive, antisocial, and crippled,” he intoned, in a forbidding voice. “You can put all the defects in the world on me, but I will not permit you to call me an egoist. If you prefer to do things your way, go ahead, but don’t waste my time anymore. Our collaboration is over.” [305]

OMG, this is harsh. But it’s the kick in the ass Ophelia needs. Since taking up a secret identity as Eulalia and aspiring to become a Forerunner (essentially a scholar and a scribe), she’s already been confronted by the fact that she’s not as good a researcher as she’s prided herself on. Now, she’s being confronted by the suggestion that she’s not a very good partner, either. It leaves her feeling “drier than dust.” [321]

I think it’s interesting how Thorn’s dialogue here has a double meaning. He’s talking about their partnership as an investigative team, of course. But it just as easily applies to their personal relationship. He can’t keep waiting around for Ophelia to make up her mind. He’s got a God to hunt down, an Other to face. Having to wonder about where he stands with Ophelia is getting to be too much. By once again haranguing off on her own, Ophelia has made it plain to him that she prefers to do things without him. In his eyes, she’s pushing him away.

Eventually, she is able to see this perspective and she is ashamed to realize how badly she’s held Thorn to a double standard. He gave of himself through words and gestures as far as he was able, while she gave him nothing in return. Finally, FINALLY, Ophelia fully expresses her love for Thorn and, as he once did, asks him to forgive her shortcomings. It’s a very sweet scene, I must say.

Now, to go back for a moment, what’s really gutting about Ophelia calling Thorn an egoist is this:

“God said he would keep his eyes on you,” he muttered, in a choked voice. “Right in front of me. I make a lamentable husband, but I permit no one, particularly him, to persecute my wife. It’s impossible for me to tear you away from God, but I can tear him away from you. If a book exists that contains God’s secret, and allows his invulnerability to be punctured, I will find it.” [392]

For context, Ophelia had admonished Thorn for his dogged pursuit of this quest, expressing outrage that he should be doing this for a world that’s done nothing for him. At one time, yes, Thorn may have been acting in the interest of the world. Then, he met Ophelia (who is too curious for her own good) and he met God. God threatened her, and Thorn is not a man who could allow such a thing to go unpunished, no matter the consequence. Ever since they met—through every consideration, every move in this impossible investigation and despite each rejection from her—he’s been acting out of love for Ophelia.

As Thorn said, he is not an egoist.

The Blind Spot

After their “egoist” argument, Ophelia feels instant regret and tries to stop Thorn from walking away. She doesn’t succeed, however, because she is struck by his claws. At first, she believes he may have done this on purpose, the thought of which really scares her because it indicates that Thorn is absolutely done with her.

Later, after she finally makes her confession, we all learn that, in fact, Thorn has lost a bit of control over his family power. He has no idea that he used his claws on Ophelia. I’m a little bit unsure what caused this vulnerability—I don’t really follow the given reason, so I’m wondering if Thorn doesn’t quite know himself why this has come to be.

My theory is more euphemistic. Ophelia had reached out to touch his turned back and the gesture badly startled him. He overreacts then overcorrects, and they both take a memorable tumble. Thorn explains:

“Never again accost me from behind my back or from any of my blind spots. Don’t do any movement that I can’t see coming in advance, or then warn me out loud.” [389]

He further explains that he can retain control as long as his claws don’t perceive her as a threat and asks her not to be absent-minded with him. I think it’s entirely plausible that his control over his Dragon power has weakened due to his deep emotion regarding Ophelia. I also feel that this speaks closely to their recent conflict as well as Thorn’s coding as autistic. It’s like Thorn is saying, “No more hide and seek. No more games. Tell me straight, or not at all.”

Ophelia knows how deep his passions run. She once held his dice and thought she might die under the weight and intensity of his emotions. Perhaps it is her Animism that has wrought this change in him. Perhaps it is simply her existence. Either way, she can no longer afford to be careless when it comes to Thorn’s feelings. In the final chapter, Ophelia and Thorn have a true heart to heart, reaffirming their partnership. But Thorn has something to add.

“No half-measures,” he interrupted her. “I’m not and do not wish to be your friend.” [445]

What he leaves unspoken is that he wants to be her husband, in every version of the role: Partner. Protector. Lover. Now that Ophelia has given him an answer, Thorn is comfortable leading them forward and it is the role of lover that he specifically has in mind. Considering this is probably the first time he’s ever propositioned a woman for sex, he is understandably quite awkward. Ophelia quickly realizes that she’s added to his inner turmoil by repressing her own sexuality around him and inadvertently making him feel less than attractive. She also understands that she, too, wants to be his wife in every version of that role: Partner. Protector. Lover. What follows is a really beautiful expression of honest acceptance and true value.

Desire

My dudes, our girl is constantly at risk of exploding (or maybe imploding?) with desire in this book. It’s consuming her, emptying her, and driving every atom of her being. Look at this!

Ophelia had received no news from Thorn after his escape. Not a single telegram, not a single letter. She could keep telling herself that he couldn’t run the risk of making contact, that he was a man wanted by the law, perhaps by God himself, but it was eating her up inside. [22]

Whenever she crossed a man who was a bit taller than average, she couldn’t stop herself from looking back as she passed, with a frantic pounding in her chest. [83]

Ophelia would have recognized his voice out of a thousand. The resonance of a double bass, solemn and sullen, that echoed through her inner emptiness, shook her to the core, welled up to her throat, choked her. [240]

She waited until her heartbeat, taxed by the run, had returned to normal. But it didn’t happen. Her entire flesh seemed to be pulsating to a single chaotic rhythm. This evening, she would see Thorn again. [249]

She wanted to be with Thorn right there, right now. She’d wanted that every second of every minute of every hour, for almost three years. [249]

Although she knew the temperature of this place was strictly maintained at minus eight degrees, Ophelia felt as if it were fifteen degrees warmer. Never in her life had she cared about appearances, and yet she ran a nervous hand through her hair to tidy it up. [253]

She suddenly realized that there wasn’t much she would have refused him, had he but asked. [278]

Instead, he disinfected his hands for a second time, as if they really were repulsive. They weren’t in Ophelia’s eyes. From a distance, she took in the network of veins under the skin, the long, curved fingers, the bone that rose up on each wrist, and suddenly, she felt something like pain in the pit of her stomach. She hadn’t the slightest idea what was happening to her, but looking at those hands made her want to scream. [283]

She felt it again, even more violently, this urgent call from deep inside her. [446]

Ophelia is so horny and I’m so here for it!

Closing Thoughts

Do I think Ophelia’s internal conflict over Thorn is drawn out? Yes.

Do I think it’s contrived? No.

I think it falls in line with Ophelia’s characterization and I think Thorn’s frosty reaction to her presence in Babel falls in line with his characterization. These characters aren’t perfect: Ophelia is quirky and endearing, but that doesn’t make her immune to cowardice; Thorn is highly skilled and competent but is deficient socially and sometimes emotionally. I can’t emphasize enough how well Christelle Dabos knows her characters and allows them to be who they are rather than force them to make weird changes to fill plot holes.

We can’t forget, either, the fact that they have been completely cut off from one another for years. Yes, we might think in that time Ophelia could have done more to sort out her feelings. But as we’ve seen, she just doesn’t focus on more than what she can handle at a time. She always thinks in terms of breaking a problem down into steps. The first step was following up on those clues from Claridelune. The second step was finding Thorn. The last step was dealing with herself.

Their relationship here, which has progressed in a way that felt natural and believable, is the most straightforward it has ever been. That made writing about them this time around kind of hard, actually, because it’s all plainly there in the text. For me, I think the notable takeaway is being able to mark just how far these two characters have come in their individual and mutual journeys. Now and together, they can tackle the gargantuan, perilous task ahead. It might all end on a bittersweet note. But for this couple…that seems about right, and I can’t wait to read the conclusion.

Thank you so much for reading these long posts and leaving such kind feedback! I’m glad that you, too, enjoy Ophelia, Thorn, and this magical series.

#ophethorn #the mirror visitor #La Passe-Miroir #the memory of babel #la memoire de babel #christelle dabos #long book report #slow burn romance

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redphlox · 3 years

Note

do you thing endeavor is getting a redemption arc or atonement arc ?

First, let’s define these words:

redemption: serving to offset or compensate for a defect

redeeming: serving to offset or compensate for a defect

atonement: reparation for an offense or injury

So, looks like the words are closely related to each other. Wikipedia states atonement is “the concept of a person taking action to correct previous wrongdoing on their part, either through direct action to undo the consequences of that act, equivalent action to do good for others, or some other expression of feelings of remorse...[atonement] can be seen as a necessary step on a path to redemption.” There seems to be a lot of religious context to these words too, but I won’t speak about that because I’m not knowledgeable about how religions view these words.

But, personally, I feel like Endeavor himself said he wants to atone, and atone only. He knows he cannot make up for or fix what he has done. Redemption to me sounds like the end goal is to make oneself worthy again, to cleanse oneself of their sin and start anew, and I don’t think that’s what Endeavor is trying to do based on his actions and statement he has made. He knows his children won’t forgive him, so he’s not going to force himself on them. As of 252, he’s not trying to come back into their lives and be their father. He’s trying to do whatever he can to ease their burden and that’s it. Not ‘ease their burden AND also be in their lives.’

I feel like redemption is that next step of atonement that involves being cleansed and forgiven of your mistakes so you’re accepted and welcomed by people you’ve hurt. Endeavor had that dream where he didn’t see himself at the table with his family, but he also wished Touya was there. I think Hori may try to have an open ending with the Todoroki family where they do offer Endeavor a place at the table. But, at the same time, (and maybe this is because I personally don’t find that ending satisfying or even possible at the moment considering Natsuo and Shouto are barely putting aside their feelings to call a truce while they stop Dabi), I feel like chapter 192 set up more foreshadowing:

Who is the current “big baddie” in BNHA as of chapter 290? Dabi. I feel like this panel, for Natsuo at least, foreshadows that even when Endeavor (and Shouto) successfully bring Touya back home, it won’t offset all the hurt and damage Endeavor has inflicted. Saving the son he irreparably damaged is the least he can do. It doesn’t absolve him of what he’s done in the past. So, that means he can’t be redeemed by definition.

So, TLDR: Endeavor’s arc is one of atonement. Redemption calls for a reconciliation of sorts where both parties start fresh and forgive. Endeavor stated he didn’t want to seek his family’s forgiveness, but he wants to take action to ease their burdens.

#bnha #bnha asks #touya todoroki #natsuo todoroki #bnha spoilers #e #Redemption

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drazzilder · 3 years

Text

Half Hot

By Drazzilder

@justmewoo requested a story. I think there will be more to this but this is the first part, hope you all enjoy!

You are rushing to the hospital. Not even red lights can stop you from getting there as fast as possible. Your mother was in a severe car accident and the doctor on the phone said to come immediately. When you arrive, you quickly talk to one of the front desk nurses and find your mother’s room. Upon entering, you see numerous machines all around her, keeping her alive. It takes all of your will power not to cry when approaching the bed. She is asleep but her eyes open when you grab her hand.

“(Y/N)….” She barely whispers.

“I’m here. Its ok.”

“You know I’m not going to make it.” She says this while looking at you with a loving and apologetic face.

You begin to cry. “I know.”

“I need to tell you something before I go.”

“Anything…”

“I lied to you about your father.”

“What?” your tears are stopped almost immediately when hearing this.

“He didn’t die of a drug overdose. Your father is alive.”

“Wait? Who is he?”

“He’s the number one hero…”

“Endeavor? That’s impossible!?”

“He came to America a long time ago and I did things I regret but I’m happy I can tell you now.”

“That’s why you made me learn Japanese?”

“Yes, I was preparing you for this one day. I’m sorry I lied.”

“Mom….” You squeeze her hand a little tighter as you start to cry again.

“Oh, and Happy 25th Birthday…” The heart monitor holds its tone. You cry at the side of the bed until a nurse comes into the room. She tells you she is sorry for your loss but you get up and head to the front desk. After getting all of the paperwork figured out, you head home. You still lived at home with your mother, so going to an empty home is going to be hard. You were between jobs and you had not much to your name. When you get home, you see a small cake with “Happy Birthday!” written on it. The cake ends up in the trash out of sadness and anger. All this time, you had a father a world away and yet your mother never told you. It would explain your quirk, only being able to heat your hands up but not create any flames. The sulking stops when you open your laptop and look up tickets to Japan.

Endeavor may be the number one hero and you admired him for so long but you need to talk to him. He is even a hero in your eyes, you being a big fan of him. You even have a room almost filled to the brim with Endeavor toys, posters, plushies and more. “I have nothing left, might as well try…” you think as you book the plane tickets. The week wait felt like an entirety but when you got on the plane, your heart was racing. Once on the ground, it isn’t long before you arrive at the Endeavor agency. When you enter, the shock on the secretary’s face tells you that you are in the right place. You never really noticed before but you look like the spitting image of Endeavor. 6’3’’, wide frame, square jaw line, blue eyes, crimson red hair.

“I am here to speak to Endeavor, is he available.?�� You say as the words look like they flying over the poor secretary’s head.

“I-I… let me call him and let him know he has a…. visitor.” She is trying to best to hide her shock but you know that it can’t be helped. After she hangs up, she walks you nervously to the office. The doors open and she motions you inside. The big man himself is in his office chair, looking down at his work. He doesn’t even look up when you enter.

“Hello, uh…Mr. Endeavor sir.”

He responds without even looking up. “You speak Japanese fairly well, however your American accent shines through. I can tell you learned from a native speaker. What do you need?”

“Um… Thank you. I… My name is (Y/N), I don’t know how to say this easily but I think I am your son.”

“What makes you say….” The number 1 hero is stopped in his tracks as he looks up. His body language changed in an instant, those words ringing in his head. When he finally can move again, it looks like he saw death himself. With mouth slightly agape, he just stares for a while then he manages to speak.

“Wa… how…why…”

“My mom told me. She said you visited America and you two met.”

The cogs start spinning in the hero’s head as he starts to remember the past. “Stella?” is all he can manage to remember.

“That was her name.”

“Was? Does that mean…”

“Yes, she passed away.”

“Oh…. And you are about 25 years old?”

“Yes. My birthday was last week actually, the same day she died.”

“What happened?”

“A car accident.”

“I…. I am sorry.”

“It was an accident.”

“No, I mean yes I am sorry about that. I really mean that I am sorry I was never there. Did you have a father as a child?”

“No, it was just me and mom.”

Under his breath “God, why did I….” Then he speaks normally again “I am sorry I did that to you. I guess you are here now because you wanted to find out if I really was your father.”

“That and I have nothing left at home. I didn’t have a job, my mom is dead, no family on her side is left. I had nothing left to live for so I decided to start fresh. Even if you were not my dad I could always start anew here.”

“That doesn’t need to happen. You are more than welcome to stay with me.”

“I don’t need that, I can j- “

“No, I insist. I need to make this up to you. I need to….” the man sounds like he is about to choke but he manages to calm himself before getting up and hugging you. Even though you are almost as tall as him, you are not nearly as built and he feels huge. His hug feels nice, something you never had as a child. The hug breaks and you feel cold again but the look on Endeavor’s face makes you forget about that. It looks like he has been beaten down. You don’t get much time to think about it when he offers to take you home with him after he finishes for the day. Of course, you agree. A sidekick takes you on a tour around the agency until it is time to go and Endeavor gets a ride for the two of you to get home.

The Todoroki residence is a large traditional style Japanese home with a massive property for being in the city. When you enter the home, something feels off. It is stale, lifeless and empty. You look around and see not a single sign of life around, that is until you find a photo frame. This a picture of Endeavor standing next to a frail looking woman with a small boy with red and white hair.

“Is this your family?” you ask while he is in another room.

“Yes…” he almost sighs.

“What are their names?”

“R-Rei is my wife. The children are Fuyumi, Natsuo, and Shoto.”

“Wait, I only see one child in the photo.” You wait for a response but you only hear silence. When he comes to the room, he acts like that question was never spoken.

“Where is your family?”

“They are not here. They live in another home.”

“Is it too much to ask why?”

“It is for their safety.”

“Oh, that makes sense you being the number one hero and all.” You take a moment to settle in. Endeavor takes you to a guest bedroom and you unpack your small bag. It isn’t long till there is some dinner made and you sit eating with him in silence again.

“You know when I found out you where my dad, I freaked out.” This doesn’t get much of a response from him so you continue. “To be the son of the number one hero, the fire hero himself, I was so excited. I have a heat quirk but all I can do is just make my hands really hot, kinda useless. But it makes sense that I got this quirk from you.”

Endeavor just chews quietly until he swallows heavily and manages to speak. “I…. When I saw you in my office, I knew you were my son. You look just like me. I am sorry that you had to go all that time without a father, without me being there. It isn’t right. I should have been there, I should have…..” He trails off before looking back at his bowl of rice.

“It is ok. You didn’t know.”

“Was your life, ok?”

“I guess. There were times where we had it rough but every family goes through that.”

He just sighs. “That…. It didn’t have to be that way.”

“Hey, I am here now. We can work on it now.”

“You are right. Let me make this right. I want to be a good father to you. I will take tomorrow off so we can start to work on that.”

“Ok, that’s a little fast but sounds good.”

“Thank you.” You wonder why he is thanking you but you think his emotions must be high from everything that has happened today. You find your way back to the guest room and fall asleep almost instantly from the jet lag. The morning is filled with the smell of a traditional Japanese breakfast. In the kitchen, Endeavor is waiting for you.

“Good morning, I hope you slept alright.”

“I did and thank you for cooking, it looks great!”

“You are welcome. I wanted to ask you a few questions if you don’t mind.”

“Sure.”

“You never knew who your father was until recently?”

“No, my mom never said a word. She told me that he died of a drug overdose.”

“I see. Did you know who I was before this?”

“Yes, I knew you were the number 2 then number 1 hero. It’s a little funny, I actually had a whole room full of Endeavor stuff. I am a huge fan.”

“What do you mean ‘had’?”

“I sold everything I had left to come here.”

“Oh…. I have one last question. Did you want to meet the rest of the family?”

“I-If they want to. I would love to but I don’t want to impose.”

“I will call and see if they are up to it right after breakfast.” It isn’t long before the food is finished end Endeavor is on his phone. He called his daughter and isn’t on the phone long before he comes back.

“They will be here later in the week. Is there anything you wanted to do today?”

“I never have been around Japan before; we can go anywhere.”

“I have some ideas. Let’s go.”

The two are headed out. They walk to the nearest station and take a train to the center of the city. The looks you got on the train were a mix between shocked and horror seeing two people who looked like the number one hero. Once in the city, Endeavor is quick to show you around. He takes you to the major landmarks, the hot spots for people your age, and even some of his favorite spots to eat. Around noon, you go to a local yakitori shop and enjoy some of the local cuisine. Lunch ends and then he wants to take you to one last place before head back. It isn’t long before you are both at a traditional Japanese temple. You take your time to walk around and take in all of the sights and respect the culture the best you can. He knows you are trying your best to understand and helps when he can.

The whole week goes something like this. Endeavor took the whole week off work early each day to spend time with you. Sometimes you went into the city, other times you went more into nature either a park or more distant parts of Japan. This is was all so much for you, you now have a father, someone who cares about you. You missed this as a child but now Endeavor is giving you the fatherly attention you always wanted.

The big day is here and you can tell Endeavor is nervous. You both head out before dinner. A small bakery was on your walk so you went inside and bought a cake for everyone to enjoy. Once back home, Endeavor set the table for the family. You are a nervous reck until the doorbell rings.

“Hi dad, what’s with us coming for dinner? Is something wrong?” Fuyumi says before entering. You sit there in shock realizing he didn’t tell them why he called them over. When they all enter the dining room, you look up to stone cold faces.

N: In pure shock “I…Who are you?”

S: “Is this some kind of joke?” He responds with some anger.

F: “Dad?”

E: “This is (Y/N). He is my son.”

N: “WHAT?! You have to be joking!” He starts to get red in the face with anger.

F: “I don’t think dad is, look at him. He looks just like dad.”

S: “This is really shocking to find out.”

(Y/N): “That how I felt when I found out.”

N: “What do you mean when you found out?”

(Y/N): “I only found out a few weeks ago. Please sit down and we can talk. I’m sorry this is all a shock to you.”

S: “This is making me uncomfortable. Can we go?”

E: “Let me make this right.”

N: “I’m heading out with Shoto.”

E: “Wait!”

N: “No, this is too much. How do you think we would react?”

F: “I don’t know how to process this. What he must have gone through without a father.”

E: “Fuyumi, you too?” He looks at her almost in astonishment.

N: “I can’t believe you did that to him. What kind of father are you anyway?”

Hearing all of this, how they talk to their father, it makes you snap. “This is how you treat your father? He is the number 1 hero. He has saved countless lives and helped take down hundreds if not thousands of villains and yet you treat him like what he is saying means nothing. He makes mistakes but that’s ok, we all do. I would love to have a father like him, I never had one as a kid. He wasn’t there when I was a kid but he wants to make up for it, isn’t that enough?”

You look over to the hero who has gone white. Endeavor turns around and leaves the room quickly. You are about to go after him but are stopped when Natsuo grabs your hand.

N: “You don’t know anything, do you?”

(Y/N): “What?”

F: “Our father isn’t perfect.”

(Y/N): “I’m not saying he is perfect.”

S: “He hurt all of us.”

(Y/N): “How?”

F: “He neglected Natsuo and I because we were not perfect to replace him. He hurt Shoto by training him too hard and our mom had a breakdown and hurt Shoto. We didn’t even know much about Shoto until recently because we were kept away from our brother.”

N: “The worst of it is that our oldest brother died because of what dad did to him. He was pushed too hard as a kid.”

S: “All of this just to be better than All Might.”

(Y/N): “What?”

N: “He only kept having kids until a child had the perfect quirk to be better than himself. He abandoned those without a good quirk.”

S: “And now we find out about you, we didn’t even know we had another brother.”

N: “Another child of his, ruined…”

You look at all three of them and can tell that they are all telling the truth. The emotions inside start to build again and overflow as you speak. “But…. I finally have a dad…” you start to cry, just a little. “My mom died on my birthday, I have no family, and I have no one to care for me. I finally find out I have a father and maybe a family but you’re telling me all of this.” You cover your face to try to hide your emotions. “Why does everything have to be so hard.”

F: “I’m sorry to tell you all this. But it’s only fair to tell you before you decide anything.”

N: “What did he tell you anyway?”

(Y/N): “He didn’t know I was alive.”

S: “What?”

(Y/N): “When I walked into his office, he looked like he saw a ghost. He said he wished he was there and he wanted to make things right. He has been with me all week, trying to make up for lost time.”

N: “Really… he is trying to help you too?”

(Y/N): “Too?”

F: “Dad is trying to make up for his mistakes. He even had us move to a new house to help us heal.”

(Y/N): “He said it was for your safety.”

N: “Yes, from him.”

F: “Natsuo!”

(Y/N): “I need to go talk to him.”

S: “That might not be a good idea.”

(Y/N): “I don’t care. Just wait here till I come back.”

You leave the dining room and wander the house looking for the number 1 hero. Some sounds start to come from a distant part of the house. As you get closer, the sounds start to morphing into the sounds of crying. You turn the corner and find Endeavor crying in front of a shrine.

“Endeavor?”

The man doesn’t even turn towards you as he speaks through his tears. “Go away…. Please…”

“No. We need to talk.”

“I-I don’t want to be seen like this. A hero should be strong but… I can’t hold it together anymore.”

“You are human, it’s ok to feel overwhelmed.”

“I know they told you about me.”

“They did.”

“Why are you defending me? Why are you still here? This family has fallen apart because of me. My son died because of me. My children were practically abandoned, Shoto was pushed hard day after day. I sent my wife to the mental institution because of what I caused. How can I be a hero if I only hurt those around me…?” His crying starts to grow louder as his emotions start to peak. The only thing you think to do is something that doesn’t come naturally to either of you. You grab his shoulders and turn him to you. He hardly has the will power to fight your movements when you put your arms around him. He weakly places his massive arms around you as he continues his sobs. His head lays limply on your shoulder as you try your best to comfort him.

You barely whisper “Let it out, there is no need to hold it inside anymore.” You look up to see the shrine behind Endeavor. The photo in the center is of a small boy with pure white hair. “Is that him?”

“His name was Touya. He was my first born, well I thought he was, but his quirk only hurt him. After having more children to fill my selfish desire to be better than All Might, he got angry and lost control. He died from his powers. I pushed him too far.”

“I….I’m sorry.”

“You shouldn’t apologize.”

“Don’t worry about me, just keep talking.”

It takes a few moments for the man to pull himself together enough to to begin to speak again. “I’m so sorry. I’m such a horrible father. I abandoned you and your mother. All those years without the support of a father; I don’t deserve you in my life. You deserve someone better.” The tone of his voice has change to something you have never heard from him before, something sad and vulnerable, the opposite of what he normally is.

“You are all that I have left, I’m not leaving. I know that I just showed up but from what little I was told, I believe you want to make things better.”

“Why are you staying?”

“I want to be here. Something inside of me is telling me I need to be here. I want a relationship with my family.”

“But…”

“No, I am staying and you can’t stop me. Maybe I can help too.”

“These are my mistakes, I need to atone for them, alone.”

“These are too big for you. You could barely look at me when I first got here. I know you feel guilty but you didn’t even know about me.

“But…. l”

“You don’t have to handle any of this alone, we can all work together but you have to let us in.”

“I…. I don’t know how.”

“How about this: let’s see if we can go back and try to have some dinner, as a family. We can try to talk things out, ok?”

“I guess.” The hero stands and he composes himself for a bit before you both head back down the hall. The tension in the air is still thick as you both sit down.

(Y/N): “I’m sorry if it feels like I am intruding into this family, I just wanted to find out if Endeavor is my father.”

F: “You look just time him; we can tell you are our brother.”

S: “We are sorry we acted the way we did you you, it is not your fault.”

N: Looking at his father “A warning would have been nice.”

E: “I am sorry I didn’t warn you about this when I invited you over. I knew you wouldn’t want to come over if you knew.”

N: “This is still a shock for us.”

F: “(Y/N), you said you didn’t know until recently?”

(Y/N): “My mom kept it a secret from me. She even had me learn Japanese since a child. I never second guessed who I looked until after she told me. She said Endeavor met her in America.”

S: “I didn’t know you went to America.”

E: “It was soon after graduating from UA, I wanted to learn more about the world of heroes and trying to learn from other pro heroes. There I met your mother at an agency, she was the secretary. She knew a lot of the ins and outs of hero work but one night things got a little off topic….”

N: “We don’t need to know the rest.”

S: “You left after that?”

E: “I’m ashamed to say yes. I didn’t know she had a child.”

(Y/N): “It’s ok. I don’t think she wanted you to know.”

S: “You’re probable right. But what makes you think we would accept you in our family?”

(Y/N): “I don’t expect you to anything that makes you uncomfortable. I only came to see if Endeavor was my father. After that, I didn’t really have anything in mind. I would be happy if I could be part of this family. I know it’s anything but perfect but he sounds like he is trying to change things for the better. I don’t know where I fit in this but I want to be included.”

E: “I don’t know how to apologize for everything I did to you all. I abandoned my first child, I neglected others, pushed others too hard. I was so selfish in everything I have done in the past 25 years. I wish I could go back and undo all of it. The amount of guilt I feel every day is almost unbearable but the only thing that pushes me forward is knowing that I need to make up for my mistakes. I don’t want forgiveness; I just want to atone.”

F: “We can see that.”

(Y/N): “What about me?”

F: “Give us time to think about this, all of this.”

(Y/N): “Take all the time you need, I waited 25 years to have a father and siblings, what’s a little more time.”

#endeavor #endeavor fluff #endeavor stan #mha todoroki #mha fluff #mha enji #endeavor mha #todoroki family #enji todoroki #todoroki enji #bhna todoroki #bhna endeavor #mha fan fic

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duelistkingdom · 3 years

Text

you’d come back to me

chapter three: anew

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Summary: Seto Kaiba has been presumed dead for four years after the events of Dark Side of Dimensions. His return causes both unresolved feelings of grief to be brought to the surface and the past to be dragged right back up. In hopes of helping Seto move on and reintegrate back into society at large, Mokuba asks Yugi to work on Spherium II with Seto. Never one to leave a friend hanging, Yugi agrees. Over the course of the project, Seto and Yugi both come to terms with their mutual grief and grow towards a better understanding of each other.

Rating: T

Ships: Yugi Mutou/Seto Kaiba, Mokuba Kaiba/Rebecca Hopkins, Katusya Jonouchi/Mai Kujaku

Warnings: aged up characters, grief, references to suicide

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“I sold the mansion.”

That was the only explanation Mokuba gave when they drove the wrong way home from the hospital when Seto was eventually released. He supposed as far as explanations go, it was a good one. “Then where do you live?”

“In a one bedroom apartment in downtown Domino,” Mokuba said, texting someone. Whoever it was was labeled as ‘loml’. Who was Loml? The person’s grasp on Japanese was shaky and substituted English words in quotes, leading Kaiba to believe Loml was probably foreign. Mokuba had texted that he had picked up Seto. Before Seto could read further, Mokuba pulled the phone out of his line of sight. “Stop reading my text messages or I’ll drop you off at a hotel.”

“Maybe I’d prefer a hotel,” Seto grumbled. He was annoyed that it had taken so long to discharge him. He wasn’t sure why they felt the need to keep him for observation for almost a month. “I don’t see why I have to sleep on your couch.”

“The doctor thinks that you would heal better under supervision from family, since your concussion didn’t heal as well as it should have,” Mokuba countered, exchanging a glance with Isono briefly. Seto still thought the doctor had been off base for insisting that his concussion was still persistent. As far as Seto was concerned, he’d already healed. He felt great. He was certain Mokuba was keeping something from him, but he didn’t know what. “Plus… I’m worried about you. I don’t want you to be alone.”

“And as for why I can’t drive?”

“Your license expired while you were gone,” Isono interjected, another shared glance with Mokuba that frustrated Seto. “You will need to get a new one, Mr. Kaiba.”

“Things like that tend to happen when you’re gone for four years, bro,” Mokuba said, the word “bro” sounding a little strained. Seto hadn’t wanted to notice before that Mokuba seemed a little stiffer than he used to. He noticed now. It was impossible to not notice the way Mokuba was trying so hard to pretend like four years hadn’t disappeared. Every time the missing years were mentioned, Mokuba tried to change the subject. Mokuba forced a grin. “Means you got a lot of catching up to do!”

He didn’t know how to respond to that so he didn’t.

The apartment complex Isono drove them to was clean and modern. It was also a lot more vertical than he would have thought when Mokuba had mentioned living in a one bedroom apartment. He wasn’t certain what he’d expected, but the building looked more like a skyscraper than a place of residence. “I’ll take care of making sure Mr. Kaiba’s things get here,” Isono said to Mokuba. “For now, you should make sure he gets settled.”

Mokuba nodded. “Thank you, Isono,” he said as Isono parked the car in front of a set of elevators. “Come on, bro. The elevators will take us right outside my door.”

“Is that safe?”

Mokuba laughed as he pulled out what looked to be a key card. “You can only get to the floor if you have a key,” he said. “I’ll have Isono get you a key later.”

The elevator doors slid open and Seto was taken aback by how industrial it looked. He followed Mokuba’s lead, though. It was strange to think of Mokuba living in a place like this by himself. Why did he sell the mansion? Was it just too tied to bad memories? Had he always wanted to sell the mansion? A bunch of questions that Seto had no answer for and had no intention of voicing aloud. Mokuba swiped a card that had “home” written on it in someone else’s handwriting and pressed a button for the fifteenth floor. That was high up. It was also… Seto pushed the thought aside.

The entranceway to Mokuba’s front door was grandiose, too. A couple of plants surrounded them on slick marble tiles and a picture of the Golden Gate bridge existed to his left on linen white walls. To his right, a bunch of pictures of various horses were all over the wall with gold placards underneath that he didn’t bother to read. He noted the source of light - a glass chandelier with gold trim. A couple of photos of Mokuba with Yugi and his friends, a couple pictures of a blonde girl that looked a lot like Rebecca Hopkins with her arm thrown around Mokuba… though… When did Mokuba start to like horses so much? Has he always liked horses? He didn’t have long to process the photos when his brother opened the door to the foyer. Natural light from the windows drifted right into the foyer, illuminating that the place was spotless.

It opened right into the living room, which had a massive L shaped couch in front of a large TV. The TV had a lot of game consoles hooked up to it, Seto noted. Another thing he noted was that it seemed like the place was designed to entertain guests. The foyer opening into the living room was just the start of it. The only thing that separated the living room from the kitchen to the left was a bar that had fresh cut flowers and bar stools lining it. Wine glasses hung above the bar and seemed to have a lot of light sources. There was a spiral staircase by the kitchen that led right up into a lofty area above them. “The room’s upstairs,” Mokuba said quietly as he hung his key on a rack. “There’s a guest bathroom over there,” Mokuba remarked as he pointed to a hallway to the left. “But it doesn’t have a shower, so you’ll have to use the shower in my bedroom. Don’t use the bathtub.”

A strange request but Kaiba felt no need to pry. “So you don’t often have people stay the night?”

“Wouldn’t say that,” Mokuba said. “C’mon, I’ll show you where the shower is.”

Once again, he was following Mokuba. There was a series of framed photographs on the wall on the way to the bedroom. One appeared to be a picture of Professor Hopkins and Sugoruko Mutou but… maybe a few years younger? Why would Mokuba have this? A photo of Mokuba with Rebecca Hopkins from the KC Grand Prix was prominently framed in the center of the hallway. In fact, it seemed like all the photos were designed to draw the eye to this one photo. Perhaps his friendship with Rebecca was much closer than Seto had originally thought. Then again… he hadn’t really been paying attention.

Mokuba opened the bedroom door and once again, natural light streamed everywhere. An ornate desk sat in front of the windows with a stack of engineering books and sticky notes that seemed much taller than he would think possible. A bookcase was next to it with thick, heavy textbooks that had pieces of paper sticking out of each of them. One of the shelves had multicolor binders in no particular order that Seto could see. In the middle of the room was a large, ornate, king sized bed with two oak nightstands on either side. One was just as messy as the desk, with a leather bound journal resting on top of the mess with a cup of pens near it. He was surprised the lamp on that nightstand hadn’t been knocked off by the mess. The other was neat with a single lamp on it. Seto frowned as he noted the size of the bed. “Why would you need a bed this size?”

“I mean,” Mokuba said, looking a little awkward before turning away to lead Seto towards another door, “it’s not just me sleeping there.”

Seto frowned, following Mokuba through the new door into the bathroom. Once again, it seemed a little bit much. Two sinks. One sink free of clutter, the other with a toothbrush, a hairbrush, and an eyelash curler left out. “Who else would sleep here?”

“My girlfriend,” Mokuba said as he gestured towards the shower. “Here’s the shower. Towels are in there,” he remarked as he pointed towards a plain white cupboard. “There’s also extra toilet paper. Don’t use her towels. You’ll know they’re hers because they’re all monogrammed with her initials.”

“Right. Those photos of that Hopkins girl.” Seto frowned. “It must be serious if she’s living with you.”

“It is rather serious.” Mokuba seemed on the verge of saying something else but shrugged it off. “Rebecca’s rather finicky with her things. Don’t use them. Anyway, I'm going to leave you to take your shower cause I should get back to work. Isono will be around to check on you and Rebecca should be home when she’s done with her classes. Be nice to her.”

“I see you decided to come back.”

Seto glared at Dr. Reiki. It wasn’t that Seto had decided to come back. “My brother seems to think that before I can be cleared for work, I need to attend these sessions,” Seto said, crossing his arms and glancing out the window. This time, he did not care about whatever game Reiki was playing. He wanted to make it as clear as possible that he did not want to be here. “Thus, here I am.”

“So the only reason you are here is to be cleared for work?”

Once again, the doctor had taken to making this seem like a game. It was impossible for Seto to tell how Dr. Reiki felt about his statement. He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to respond. “Tch,” Seto said as he looked away from the therapist. “I suppose so.”

“I see. If that’s the case, then tell me about your relationship with Mokuba,” Dr. Reiki said, leaning back in his chair. Seto hated that Reiki always seemed so at ease within these four walls while Seto struggled to find his footing. “I know I’ve spoken with Mokuba already but…. I am curious as to how you’d describe it.”

Seto arched his brow at the doctor. “Fine,” he said, carefully choosing his words. “When our parents died, we were shuffled around from relative to relative. None of them wanted extra mouths to feed. They were more than happy to spend our inheritance, however. They kept that but dumped us at the orphanage. I knew it was my responsibility to look after Mokuba because no one else would. I… made mistakes in raising him. I know that now. I regret how harsh I was. I… only meant to protect him.”

He cut himself as he registered Reiki taking notes. Reiki looked up when Seto stopped talking. “Don’t worry about the notes, Seto,” he said. Kaiba squashed down the desire to demand that Reiki be more formal. “This is part of the standard procedure to clear any patient to return to work. Please, continue.”

“Right,” Seto said, glancing up at the degree that Reiki held again. It was from Harvard. He supposed it made sense that Reiki went to a western school for this line of work. This did, in fact, relax Seto a little bit. At least his therapist was the best. “It was just Mokuba and I after my adoptive father died. Only Mokuba really knew the truth of what happened while everyone else…”

“Everyone else…,” Reiki prompted when Seto trailed off. Seto glared at him and glanced around. “This is a safe space, Seto. Nothing you say will leave these four walls.”

“Everyone else believes I killed my adoptive father,” Seto admitted, leaning back, leaving out the fact that there were days when he wished he had. He doubted that would help in his quest to be cleared to go back to work. “Mokuba knows that isn’t true. Still, he knew it was true that I could be, can be… Ruthless. Some people considered me to be cold and calculative, so the rumor persisted. Still persists, truthfully.”

Seto trailed off again, wondering if he was saying the right things. It was difficult to strike a line here. He still had no idea what Reiki was after to clear him for work. The therapist offered no hints.

“It makes sense that you were ruthless. Public record states that you became president of Kaiba Corp when you were only 15,” Reiki remarked. “You must have had to be cutthroat. I would imagine there were plenty of people seeking to take advantage of your youth and naivety - something you more than likely couldn’t afford. Tell me, how did you feel about those rumors?”

For a moment, Seto was dangerously close to answering. Before he admitted to anything, Seto caught himself. “What does this have to do with me getting cleared for work?”

Reiki’s mouth twitched into a smile. “In order to be certain you’re ready to return, I need to get a feel for what your work history is. How you see the company and how it affects you,” he said and Seto resented that he sounded like he was trying to coax a deer to him. “After all, the concern is that work might do more harm than good right now.”

Seto considered this for a moment. Finally, he gave a soft “tch” before crossing his arms. “I didn’t appreciate them,” Seto admitted. “It seemed like everyone was more concerned about the potential soap opera than the fact that I’d been orphaned again. My adoptive father was not a good man and do not misunderstand me, I am not saddened by his death. However… no one seemed to care that I was fifteen and without a father again. That left me, to be a CEO and president of a multi billion dollar corporation, and a father to my younger brother.”

“You considered yourself to be the parent?”

“I had to,” Seto sniffed. “There was simply no one else who would. So I had to step up to the plate to make sure Mokuba was taken care of.”

Reiki frowned as he glanced over his notes. “I will admit that makes sense as a motivation,” Reiki said slowly. “What I’m having trouble understanding is why did you abandon him for four years if you felt that it was your duty to be a father Mokuba? Could it be that perhaps you were following the only model for a father you had?”

Seto bristled. “I did not intend to leave him for four years,” Seto hissed. “That was the result of an error in programming. I was supposed to return mere moments after I left.”

The therapist nodded again and jotted something else down. Again, Seto longed to know what the therapist was writing. He badly wanted to correct anything Reiki may have misunderstood. “Well. I think we have made some decent progress today,” Reiki said. “How about we meet again in two weeks?”

As much as Seto wanted to argue, he wound up agreeing instead.

Yugi had been staring at the code for the AI for the past few hours now. He’d clipped his hair up earlier in a desperate attempt to keep his bangs out of his face. They still liked to land in front of his face. He’d figured it was safe to work on this project now because Mokuba was out picking up Seto. From what, Mokuba never said. He wasn’t expecting Mokuba to come back to work.

It’s why he nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard, “So you know about the AI project Seto was working on before he left.”

For a moment, he wanted to ask how Mokuba knew about it. It was a stupid question. Obviously Mokuba knew more about what Seto had been doing before he left than Yugi ever did. Yugi sighed and nodded. “I stumbled across it a few weeks ago,” Yugi admitted, leaning back in his chair. The code was more complex than he was used to. “Why did Kaiba make it so you have to duel it to leave that room?”

Mokuba sighed, resting against the wall. Yugi thought it was greatly unfair that Mokuba shot up to six foot while Yugi was still stuck at five foot eight. He remembered when Mokuba was only barely shorter than him by an inch. Then again… he also remembered when Seto was willing to die for Mokuba. Willing to traumatize him to save Mokuba. It seemed to Yugi that a lot had changed in Seto. “He was obsessed,” Mokuba said. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to shut it down… it was the last thing Seto made before…”

When he trailed off, Yugi couldn’t fault him. Mokuba had managed to deal with the fact that Seto had vanished off the face of the Earth for the past four years. The cracks in Mokuba’s facade were easy to see through but Yugi didn��t want to press. As much as Yugi wanted to help, he knew that it would be better to let Mokuba come to terms with his feelings before unpacking them. “It’s okay,” Yugi said. “I imagine it wasn’t supposed to be easy to find.”

“You know, all the people that had been working on it thought it was supposed to be of you,” Mokuba said suddenly, a light smile as if this was deeply hilarious. “One of them asked me why he didn’t just go down the street and ask you for a duel. Another asked if you were actually that ripped.”

Yugi laughed, shaking his head. “I mean, if they want to believe I look that good,” Yugi said, trying to keep the conversation light. “I was just… noting the differences between how the AI acted and how Atem… actually acted.”

“Seto insisted it was perfect,” Mokuba said, folding his arms over his chest and closing himself off. Turns out, there was little difference between the Kaiba brothers when they were distancing themselves from him. “It was based on his memories of how the Pharaoh acted.”

“Atem,” Yugi corrected, a knee jerk reaction. “That explains why it’s not… it doesn’t act like Atem,” Yugi said with a sigh. “Kaiba never saw Atem outside of a Duel. I did. He… he was conflicted. Complex. He carried a lot of guilt with him. He…” Yugi trailed off as he noted the look on Mokuba’s face. While there was little chance he’d shown his hand, Mokuba still looked sympathetic. Yugi’s face burned as he realized that no matter how much he moved on, the fact remained that he still loved Atem and it must have shown in how he spoke about Atem. Yugi was certain that some part of him would always love Atem. It was unimportant to this conversation, however. “It was just a lot to see something look so much like Atem and almost act like him but… not quite him.”

“You could fix it,” Mokuba noted, a cautious note in his voice. The statement hung in the air before Mokuba added on, “However.... It would be smarter to just leave it, right?”

Yugi nodded thoughtfully. He could, indeed, work with Mokuba and learn the coding behind the AI. He could certainly adjust the AI so it acted more like Atem. All these things were absolutely possible. However… “If Kaiba duels this AI again,” Yugi said slowly, an idea forming in his head, “I could change its deck. I mean, it’d be more like Atem in that sense. Atem and I always built our deck together. So the real way to start fixing how the AI acts is… for me to build it a new deck. Right?”

A grin split across Mokuba’s face. “Yugi, are you suggesting that we fuck with it?”

Yugi turned to look at the AI’s code before nodding. “I am absolutely suggesting that we fuck with it.”

Seto was trying to figure out what he should do since Reiki had refused to clear him to work again. He browsed a few Dueling sites to kill time. He knew that things had to have changed since he left. He knew that the meta for Duel Monsters most likely was different and if he wanted to keep up, he’d have to look into the new strategies.

This was, of course, just a distraction. He didn’t want to check his email. His old burner account had to be worthless by now so he set up new burner account. He was annoyed to discover the user “saggithedarkclown” was taken and the person who owned it wouldn’t give it up without payment.

After a minor argument with himself, he bought the username while mentally cursing them for taking the username in the first place. He supposed the real joke was on him for actually paying for it, though. From there, he was able to poke around at the current meta and see what had changed.

As much as the format of the game had changed, it would seem that Yugi was still the undefeated champion. Still the King of Games. There were a couple photos of Yugi at previous exhibition matches with similar determined expressions and the same leather pants he remembered Yugi wearing at Battle City. Or well… the other Yugi, anyway. Additionally, it seemed like people now paid money to view Yugi’s various decks. Seto didn’t know how he felt about that.

He noted the new support cards for his deck and was disgusted to see that Pegasus had reprint the Blue Eyes White Dragon cards during his absence. It felt almost mocking. As if the minute he turned his back, Pegasus took advantage. He knew it was a ridiculous reaction. They were, after all, the intellectual property of Industrial Illusions and Pegasus was free to reprint whatever he saw fit. It still did not make Seto feel any better about it.

There were also new methods of summoning. He’d found a couple videos of Jonouchi, Yugi, and Mai all using the new summoning methods. He’d have to figure out how they worked. Synchro vaguely reminded him of ritual summoning so that might be the easiest to pick up. As for XYZ and Link, however, Seto couldn’t exactly figure them out. As far as he could tell, special summoning was now a major component of the game.

The deeper he dove, the more he learned about tournaments in the previous four years. It seemed that somehow Jonouchi managed to become a competitive giant. Another thing Seto didn’t know how he felt about. Jonouchi, when Seto had left, was merely a mild irritant who was not as good as he or Yugi. He’d missed seeing a former annoyance climb his way through the ranks. It was a strange thing to realize.

He also noted that Yugi’s last real tournament entry was two years ago. His victory was a surprise to no one. Seto noted that Yugi seemed a little distracted when he won. He wondered what Yugi was thinking at that moment.

Seto was fixating. He wanted to know why Yugi had stopped entering tournaments. Did he think himself too good to Duel? If Seto entered a tournament, would Yugi enter? Did Yugi feel he had nothing left to prove? That would make sense, after all.

A ping pulled him out from his distraction. A message from someone using the handle “kc_blimp” was left on one of his posts about wanting to get back in the game after a three year break . He was surprised to see that the user had left a long and in depth explanation about the new summoning mechanics. He’d have to test them out himself. He was also surprised to see the user noted that Duels tend to be faster with ten turns being “long duels” by modern standards and to expect stall techniques to not work as well as they did four years ago. How much had the game changed in his absence?

Unfortunately for him, there was only one way to have some of his questions answered. He sent the user a private message,

He got a phone call from Pegasus, which he ignored.

For the past few months, Seto had not once seen Rebecca. He knew she came home occasionally because every single time Rebecca had been in the apartment, there would be a messy table left behind. Rebecca had no concept of how to keep a room clean and it was slowly driving Seto crazy.

The door unlocked and Seto expected to see Mokuba enter. He was not expecting to see a blonde woman that was wearing a denim skirt, a bright blue shirt, and a blue headband walk in. She seemed to be carrying dozens of paper bags and had a heavy looking backpack slung on one shoulder. “Oh, hi, Seto,” she said, kicking the door closed with one of her sharp looking heels. “Are you going to just stand around or are you going to help me with the groceries?”

At first, Seto was appalled by the gall of this woman to just walk into the apartment and address him by first name. It took a moment for him to realize that yes, this was indeed Rebecca Hopkins. She… expected him to help? “Why didn’t you get Isono to take care of that?”

Rebecca sighed as she dumped the bags on the dining table and tossed her backpack right at him. It hit him in the stomach and he nearly doubled over. How did she carry this? The bag felt like it weighed as much as she must. “Unlike you, I do not expect others to take care of me,” she said as she began unloading one of the bags. He was surprised to see so many processed snacks. There was no way Mokuba ate that crap, right? “Seriously, are you going to help or what?”

“Why did you buy so many chips,” he said, alarmed as he set the backpack down then headed over to examine the groceries. At least one bag had vegetables and another had fruits in it, thankfully. The next bag was full of sweets, however… “You don’t need this much sweets.”

“How the fuck do you think I’m going to get through this bitch of a thesis paper,” Rebecca retorted, looking at him as if he’d asked her if Luster Dragon was a normal monster. “Not all of us get handed a company at fifteen, you know. Some of us actually have to work for what we get.”

He was surprised at how blunt she was. This was the girl that Mokuba was dating? She seemed a little rude. No, that was putting it too nicely. Rebecca Hopkins was an absolute nightmare. Had she always been like this? He answered his own question when he remembered that of course she was nasty - she was American. He was surprised at how well she spoke Japanese, however. “Since when did you know how to swear in Japanese,” Seto asked. The last time he’d seen her, her go to choice of swear words was ‘goddamn’ in English peppered into badly spoken Japanese. “Why are you here in Japan?”

“I’m getting my PhD in Engineering from the University of Tokyo,” Rebecca said, rolling her eyes as she put the chips in one of the cupboards.

Seto had never opened any of the cupboards in the kitchen. He was surprised to see they were organized. He was even more surprised that Rebecca was following the system the kitchen had.

“I have to know how to speak Japanese in order to attend,” she went on, “considering all my professors speak it. And Mokie taught me.”

Mokie? Did she refer to his brother with a cutesy nickname? Seto was appalled by her. “Sorry, did you say your PhD?” Seto asked as realization set in “Aren’t you nineteen?”

“I started college when I was thirteen.. And I’m actually twenty, so show some respect,” she said, her bright blue eyes glancing up at him sharply and rather dismissively. “Seriously, if you aren’t going to help put things away, why are you here? The meat goes in the fridge, the sweets go in that cupboard, the dips go over there, the wine goes in the wine cooler. Hurry up!”

Since she clearly wasn’t going to let this go, Seto took the bag full of fish, chicken, pork, and what appeared to be a well-marbled steak. Did she cook? She didn’t seem like the kind of person who cooked. He opened the fridge for the first time and noted it was neat. Considering how Rebecca’s desk and nightstand looked, Seto could only deduce either someone was hired to cook or Mokuba cooked. He didn’t know if Mokuba could cook. How could he not know if his brother cooked or not? He made a mental note to avoid mentioning this to his doctor during his next check up, lest they subject him to more tests again. “You do all the grocery shopping?”

“Sometimes Mokie does it since he does all the cooking,” Rebecca said as she started putting away the wine. “But since he’s busy with work, I thought I’d make life easier for him and pick up the groceries. Plus… his birthday’s coming up! I wanted to do something nice for him.”

Mokuba’s birthday was coming up? Had he been back in this world for that long already? He hadn’t bothered keeping track of the days. If Mokuba’s birthday was coming up soon enough for her to be thinking about it… it would have to be June, right? He didn’t want to ask. “So what are you doing for his birthday?”

“Don’t worry about me, worry about you,” Rebecca said, her hands planted on the table as she glared at him. “What did you get him to make up for what you did?”

Seto was taken entirely aback. He wasn’t expecting to meet Rebecca today, much less be confronted about what he’d done. He was nervous now. Were Rebecca’s eyes always this icy? He didn’t know it was possible for one person to look this cold. “Er,” Seto said, stumbling over himself. He looked away from her harsh gaze. “I didn’t get him anything.”

She sighed, shaking her head. “You can pick up the cake, then,” she said, as if it wasn’t up for discussion. He certainly wasn’t about to interject that he didn’t know how to pick up a cake from a bakery. He always had Isono deal with that sort of thing. “I’ve been planning Mokie’s birthday for the past three months and you are not about to ruin it by showing up empty handed. I’ll email you the information about the bakery and where to go.” With that, she’d finished unpacking the rest of the groceries. Seto had barely helped at all but that didn’t seem to matter. She picked up her backpack, tossing it over her shoulder, and moved toward the stairs. “I’m going to go do my homework. Don’t bother me.”

He wouldn’t dream of it.

For the most part, Mokuba really was okay. He swore it up and down to anyone who asked. But there was a strange feeling in his heart when he looked at his brother. It was like he was being ripped apart to see him looking exactly as he did four years ago when he told him “you’re in charge, Mokuba” before leaving him. He wiped away the tears.

He was okay. He would make himself be okay, he thought idly as he glanced at the mirror in the private bathroom attached to his office. Kaiba Corporation CEOs did not cry, he reminded himself. They did not let things like this tear them down. He held himself high, adjusting his tie.

He knew what Yugi would say.

That it was okay to cry. That it was okay to be upset. Well, Yugi was wrong. Mokuba couldn’t let anyone see that this rattled him. He’d seen how Kaiba Corporation CEO’s were supposed to act and he would follow it to the letter even as it ripped him apart. He left the bathroom, striding with purpose. Showing weakness would be the same thing as death.

Rebecca knew something was wrong. She always seemed to know when Mokuba wasn’t okay. Thankfully, her classes kept her busy and he never had to face how he really felt for too long. If she was around more often, she might have demanded that he actually go see a therapist again. He’d been doing so good that he hadn’t needed it. Though, to be fair, he’d already insisted prior that Kaibas don’t go to therapy. He almost grinned thinking about how she’d reacted to that.

Despite this, when Yugi had discovered the AI, it changed a lot of things. For one, he now spent extra time trying to pick apart the code with Yugi in Yugi’s office. It was far more complex than anything he’d ever seen and he was amazed Yugi could even keep up.

Yugi had already proven himself an intuitive coder, though. He supposed it would make sense that Yugi would be smart enough to figure out the strange lines of code. “I think this right here is supposed to be based on one of the Battle City duels,” Yugi said with a frown as he examined a complex string of code that seemed to be its own thing. “Kaiba doesn’t like to organize his codes, does he?”

“I think it is organized,�� Mokuba said, sitting down in one of the chairs in Yugi’s office. He ran his fingers through his hair as he tried to work through lines. The flags for the reactions seemed to change on their own, as if the code itself was alive. Or maybe Mokuba was finally going crazy. He and Yugi had already spent so long trying to figure out how to adjust just one facet of the AI’s personality that Yugi had noted was off. “It’s just in a way we haven’t figured out yet.”

“So the solution is to think like Kaiba,” Yugi said with a defeated sigh. Mokuba didn’t get why that seemed to be a problem for Yugi. There was once a time when Yugi could easily dissect his brother and accurately deduce what he was thinking. Unless… unless maybe he was mixing up Yugi and Atem again. “If I were Kaiba and I wanted to build a complex AI that could think for itself while dueling… I might…” Yugi’s brow furrowed. “Hm… what if the reason that’s off is because…”

Yugi did something and strangely, the code jumped down several lines in response. Mokuba sat up straighter as he examined the new spot they were in. “He attached that reaction to that,” Mokuba remarked, a little stunned. “Why would he do that?”

“Same old Kaiba,” Yugi remarked. “I think he may have put a lot of important flags behind the Dueling operation. He really did only intend to use this as a Dueling simulator, huh?”

“Before he left, he was planning on creating a virtual world in which Duelists could enter and challenge virtual Duelists. The project was basically complete but never went past the beta stage,” Mokuba remarked, fiddling with the code just a little bit more. He didn’t know if what they were doing was wise but he knew that if they could make improvements… maybe they could follow up on a project Seto left behind. “A way for everyone to enjoy the game and get better at it. Do you think that it might be a problem if we…”

“Probably,” Yugi said with a shrug. “But if we’re going to give it new decks to play against Kaiba, we need to make sure that the AI can play them optimally.”

“And you don’t think this code could do it?”

He felt offended on behalf of his brother. Yugi had to know that Seto had poured everything into this program. It was supposed to perfectly replicate Seto’s memories of Atem. He was annoyed when Yugi shook his head. “This code’s missing what made Atem such a good Duelist,” Yugi said, a light grin across his face. “A bit of me.”

“This code is designed to perfectly replicate Atem as Seto remembers him and Duel with his exact strategies,” Mokuba said, well aware it wasn’t the best defense of the code. After all… he had to admit that no one knew Atem like Yugi did. “Are you saying Seto doesn’t remember how Atem duels?”

“No,” Yugi said, an odd look crossing his face. “Kaiba dismissed me as a potential rival, remember,” Yugi said, and Mokuba vaguely remembered that. “He probably didn’t think that I contributed much to those Duels, I guess. But we can fix that.”

Mokuba figured that if anyone could fix the AI, it would absolutely be Yugi.

#fic: you'd come back to me #sorry i fell asleep instead of posting the next chapter on time #but hello it is here #rivalshipping #rivalshipping fanfic #myfanfic

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pandoraborn · 3 years

Text

Characters: Wilbur Soot, Tommyinnit, Ranboo, Dream Word count: 1615 words Content: manipulation, mind control, villain!wilbur, villain!dream, mention of abuse, death mention, tommy-as-puppet, ranboo-as-puppet, dark!fic, canon divergent fic

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Rubbing his hands together, Tommy tries to grab as much heat from the fire as he can. At least this is a house of some sort, and not some empty cave like he’d envisioned, but he still feels cold and numb. It’s like no amount of heat is going to change his temperature.

Tommy knows why he feels so numb. He can hear the sources of his fresh trauma right behind him, chatting so jovially as if they’re talking about video games as opposed to bringing down the server. Tommy doesn’t want to talk to either of them, but his only other source of company is still in some weird trance right next to him. Ranboo’s guarding Tommy with a sword out and laid across his lap, staring creepily. Tommy wants to punch him.

He tries to ignore Ranboo as long as possible, with minutes ticking by slowly. Every time he shifts or coughs, Ranboo tightens his grip on his sword. Eventually, there’s a lull in the conversation behind him, so Tommy turns his head to glare.

“Dream, can you please call your watchdog off?” Tommy finally growls. “You don’t have to babysit me so closely.” He scoots away from Ranboo, glaring at the ground. Tommy doesn’t even react as Wilbur drapes a blanket across his shoulders.

“You seem cold, Tommy. You’re trembling.”

“I bet I could make you tremble,” Tommy grumbles. He wraps the blanket tighter around himself anyway. “Why do you need me anyway? Go off and be evil with Dream. Let me go home with Tubbo.”

“Tubbo’s not here,” Wilbur says. There’s amusement in his voice, so Tommy shoots him another glare.

“You know what I meant, stop being an asshole. I want to go home.”

“We are home.” Dream moves closer, resting a hand on Tommy’s shoulder. “You and Ranboo, me and Wilbur? We’re going to be one big happy family. Ranboo will even come to accept it, once we all see you’re not going to run anymore.”

Tommy stares at Dream for a minute before turning toward Ranboo. “Hey, Ranboob, am I safe enough for you to snap out of it and put your sword away?”

“I don’t know,” Ranboo finally says, sounding groggy. “That’s up to Dream.”

“Are you with us or are you still under his control?” Tommy still wants to punch him in the face. Mind control or no, Ranboo has been pissing him off a lot lately.

“You know, that’d be an easy question to answer if I didn’t feel funny.” Ranboo puts a grin on his face, but he leans back, looking around. He’s definitely awake now. “Where are we anyway?”

“We’re in a new house,” Wilbur offers. “Welcome back, Ranboo.” Wilbur drops a second blanket on the enderman hybrid. “Dream and I have food cooking for you two, and there are beds next to ours.”

“Something about this isn’t sitting right with me,” Ranboo says. “Why are we here, and what are you planning on doing with us?”

“Oh, you weren’t in the prison,” Tommy grunts. “Dream and Wilbur had a lovely chat about us and what they want with us. See, we’re their puppets. I’m pretty sure you already knew that.”

“Um, no?” Ranboo laughs in disbelief. “I was with Tubbo. We were going to go back to Snowchester. I was supposed to keep him safe.”

“Of course you were with Tubbo,” Tommy snaps. “Everyone’s with fucking Tubbo. Everyone’s always checking on him and having a laugh with him. I’m trapped in prison and killed and all I get is ‘hey Tommy I’m going to keep you as my toy now.’ Can someone just pay attention to me, for fucking once?”

“Tommy that’s-” Ranboo starts to say, but Wilbur cuts him off by leaning in between them. He gives Tommy a wide grin that Tommy shrinks back from.

“Tommy, remember all the good times we had?” Wilbur asks. “You and me, specifically. Remember how L’Manburg started, remember our time in Pogtopia? We can have that again. Come on, you never wanted the country. You wanted me. You wanted to play with your big brother. We can be brothers again, you know. You just have to relax. Let your guard down.”

“You’re sided with Dream.” Tommy’s voice is flat as he jerks his head toward the entity in question. “Dream’s got Ranboo under some sort of spell. He threatened to kill Tubbo and everyone else. He killed me, remember? Why would I want to side with you?”

“Because, deep down inside Tommy, you want this. If you’d stop lying to yourself for once, you’d know you wanted me back all along, you never wanted the country, you never wanted the wars.”

“Of course I didn’t want the wars!” Tommy yells. “I never wanted any of this to happen! I never wanted to lose my discs, I never wanted to lose my friends, or be exiled, or be trapped with a loser who fucking killed me. Just to prove a point, I might add! I never wanted any of this to happen, I just wanted-”

He cuts himself off there. The words that had almost come out of his mouth had been ‘I just wanted to impress you’, and that would be proving Wilbur completely correct. Admitting that would mean he has no choice, and Tommy doesn’t want to give in.

Wilbur is too smart for him though, and judging by the expression on his face, he already knows what Tommy was going to say. “So, be my brother again. We may not be Tubbo or Mexican Dream or Sam or anyone you care about, but you and Ranboo can be best friends. You and Dream can bury the hatchet. You and me? We can be a family again.”

“Ranboo doesn’t want this either,” whispers Tommy. “Ranboo wants to go home too.”

“Ranboo wants to stay with me.” The confidence and sheer arrogance in Dream’s voice is terrifying. “Ranboo will stay with all of us if neither of you want anyone else to die.”

“I-” Ranboo sounds caught off guard. “You’re just going to kill everyone anyway, aren’t you? Isn’t that your entire point of kidnapping us?”

“No, I’m going to start anew,” Dream corrects. “This server has too much history and attachments, and as long as those are there, I’m never going to have it back. So Wilbur and I talked. People flock to you and Tommy for whatever reason, so you’re ours. We can use you to start over.”

“What do you mean, start over?” Ranboo’s gaze darts back and forth between Dream and Wilbur. “By starting over-”

“-I mean we’re going to...what was it Techno said? Chunk error- the entire server. Everyone’s houses, everyone’s countries and lands and homes, no matter how far out. We’re going to reset the world.”

“You’re both mad,” Tommy snaps. “You’re insane! Why the fuck do you think either of us are going to go along with it?”

Wilbur presses his hands down on Tommy’s shoulders, before leaning down enough to rest his chin on Tommy’s head. “Because I know you, Toms. You crave attention and affection. You crave friendship and something more meaningful than material items. You’ve been stretched and used and hurt too many times, so I’m going to promise you and end to the torment and pain. You don’t want to be a hero, you want to be free.”

He doesn’t have a response for this.

Wilbur continues. “Ranboo wants to be left alone, Dream tells me. He wants an end to the conflicts and sides and bickering. This is our goal. Call us evil and extreme, call us names, call us whatever you want.”

“Just don’t call me Shirly,” Dream stage-whispers. Tommy can’t resist a snort at that.

“Dream and I, we’ll take care of you both,” Wilbur says. Fingers curl through Tommy’s hair, and he has to admit it feels nice. It’s soothing, calming, and he’s leaning into the touch before he can stop himself. “You and Ranboo will have peace, alright? Just stay with us, and you’ll never get hurt again.”

“Dream hurt me,” Tommy whispers. “He hurt me a lot.”

“Wilbur and I have an agreement. He gets you, and I’m not to lay a finger on you, and I get Ranboo. Wilbur’s not to lay a finger on him. We both thought it was a fair trade off.”

“Shouldn’t we have a say in this?” Ranboo asks. “Considering we’re actual, living beings, and not your toys?”

“Everyone wants a say, until they don’t. Wilbur and I are going to make all the decisions. Your job is to follow orders and stay close.”

Tommy can’t see how they’re going to get out of this one. His brain is also turning to mush because of the repetitive motion in his hair. It’s starting to make him feel sleepy.

“It’s settled then,” Dream says with a clap. “You’re ours, and you’re both going to realize that the four of us will be happy. We’ll make things better for everyone.”

Tommy closes his eyes. He still hates this, but a small part of him, a part he’s no longer suppressing, agrees that Wilbur is right. Tommy wanted him all along, and having him alive and here, and sounding so comforting, is too nice to ignore.

“As long as that green bastard stays away from me,” he finally says. “No more calling me his toy, or saying I’m too much fun. I just...”

“No more,” Wilbur confirms. “You’re under my protection now. I’ve got you now and forever Tommy, my Tommy.”

“Okay.”

Ranboo shifts next to him, and Tommy has a feeling he’s accepting his fate as well. At least they have each other.

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nekomasnympho · 3 years

Text

𝓗𝓠 𝓑𝓸𝔂𝓼 𝓪𝓼 𝓢𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓼 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓢𝓬𝓮𝓷𝓪𝓻𝓲𝓸𝓼

I’m not in the best headspace but imagining these hcs makes me feel a lot better so I hope they make some other people feel better too :)

Kita Shinsuke Sleep On The Floor by The Lumineers

“Cause if we don’t leave this town we might never make it out”

Running away with Kita and being madly in love

Has a sweet playlist he made specifically for you

Hums the words while he’s driving because he’s too embarrassed to full on sing in front of you but when you’re asleep in the passenger seat he’ll softly sing and you only know that because you pretended to be asleep once just to hear him

Lots of innocent kisses. Your hand, shoulder, forehead

Always has a hand on your thigh while he’s driving

Insists on taking the scenic route no matter how much extra time and gas it tacks onto your trip

Likes stopping and taking lunch breaks in fields of grass or flowers

His camera roll is full of candid photos of you laughing and just looking like the purest thing in the world in a sunflower patch

Make each other a flower crown for every state you go through

Stopping at produce stands by farms and trying fresh fruit everywhere you go. Your favorite were the apples in Virginia and Kita’s were the peaches in Georgia

He always manages to charm the elderly grandma’s working the stands because they remind them of his own

Even though you’re practically living out of your car he makes sure to keep it as clean as possible

Sometimes when it’s warm enough you sleep on a blanket outside your car in one of those fields and stare at the stars together

He kisses your forehead and you know any worry you had before running away with Shinsuke didn’t mean anything because you had everything you could ever want right in front of you

Aone Takanobu Angels by The xx

“If someone believed me they would be as in love with you as I am”

Just thinking about Aone makes me want to cry

He’s such a gentle giant but everyone’s afraid of him and he’s just so lonely

So when he finally has someone that trusts him enough to sit next to him on the train he starts to tear up

You mean so much to him and you don’t even realize it

Eventually you hear his slight little sniffles and see your giant sweetheart ‘Nobu with tears streaming down his eyes looking at you like you hung the stars in the sky and he’s normally not a big fan of pda but he can’t help but bury his face in your neck

You hold him like that for the rest of the train ride and choose not to ask him about it until you’re back at your apartment

But Aone doesn’t wanna talk, just wants to hold you

So that’s how you spend the next 14 or so hours

Wrapped up in Nobu’s long limbs holding each other like you were the only things left in the universe

He just never thought there was anyone out there that could ever love him and here you are, proving him so wrong

You pass out first with his lips pressed softly to your forehead and that’s when he decides to spill his feelings

He whispers how he’s always felt so alone and isolated, like he wasn’t meant to be with anyone, especially as sweet as you

Promises to love you until his dying breath

You’re an angel in his arms and he can’t help but shed more tears over how lucky he is to have you

Oikawa Tooru Cosmic Love by Florence + The Machine

“I took the stars from my eyes and then I made a map and knew that I could somehow find my way back”

Star crossed lovers

“These violent delights have violent ends” type of love

Lots of eye contact

You’re arranged to be married to someone else and you can’t think of any other plans so you sneak out at midnight and run away

Disrespecting authority figures because you’re dumb in love

Being secretly wed

It’s not as grand as you expected your wedding to be when you were younger but you’re marrying the man you love and nothing else matters

Keeping a vial of each others blood as a necklace you wear at all times

Cupping Tooru’s face and admiring how gorgeous your lover is

Kissing all his freckles and tiny blemishes he’s embarrassed of

Running your fingers through his hair to calm him down when he worries about your future as a couple too much

Finally deciding the best course of action is to start completely anew together

Wreaking havoc throughout your village and dancing through the flames while your past burns behind you

#I'm actually kinda proud of these #they make me very happy #haikyuu headcanons #kita hcs #aone hcs #oikawa hcs #kita shinsuke #aone takanobu #oikawa tooru

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lizacstuff · 3 years

Text

Edser / SCK asks Ep 30 and 31 Fragman

Asks below the cut.

Anonymous said: Thoughts on the second trailer for epi 31

My thoughts on the fragman are complicated. Here’s the thing, this show is my happy place and I want my-- and everyone else who reads what I have to say-- experience to be positive.

So I’m going to say this once and then not dwell. (This means don’t send me a bunch of negative, venting asks, I won’t answer them) I don’t like the direction they’ve taken. I was fine with amnesia, I was great with him falling in love with her from scratch, and I was a-okay with it happening very slowly, even with lots of obstacles and pain. However, involving Selin, and some rando dude who is apparently secretly in love with Eda for years, at such a heightened level... is making it very difficult to enjoy. What they’ve had to do to numerous characters to make the Selin thing make sense is ridiculous. It’s maddening to watch her manipulate and brainwash a man with a traumatic brain injury and NO ONE recognizes it as such. It’s hard to watch such a brilliant man not be able to see through her even a little. It’s hard to enjoy anything with that going on in the background.

So with that being said, watching the last two episodes felt a little like getting kicked in the face with a Selin shaped foot. Frankly, this fragman made me feel like we’re going to get kicked in the face a third time. While the spoilers say something is coming for her, there is really no hint in the fragmans that she’s going to get comeuppance in this episode, or even start to. (Poor Bige, good thing she’s not a Hollywood actress because I’m not sure I would ever be willing to watch her in anything again, my reaction to her as Selin is now that visceral).

HOWEVER, the only reason I watch this show is for Serkan and Eda and to watch Hande and Kerem bring their magic together. That’s it, that’s my happy place. So while the last two episodes were hard to watch-- with the undercurrent of Selin’s crazy behavior not being recognized as such-- both episodes offered up some really great scenes of them together (though it needs to be more, much more) and that’s what I’m going to focus on. So on the BRIGHT side I do think we’re going to get some amazing and even romantic moments between Eda and Serkan in 31.

It seems certain that the scenes on the boat when they’re alone will give us some really nice moments. The fragman makes it look very fraught and emotional, but hopefully the scenes are long and they get a chance to really talk and connect and there are lighter moments. We know from the live, that they shot at Eda’s house, and it looks from the fragman there is a scene with them outside. That should be reminiscent of many scenes of old when he would pick her up or drop her off, and I’m hopeful they will do that justice. Then of course jealous Serkan sniffing around Deniz’s cafe will hopefully lighten things up around this joint.

So... I’m gonna be excited for any and all scenes with Eda and Serkan that don’t also have the human praying mantis along for the ride, and for the rest... I guess I better place an order at the liquor store and stock up on human brain bleach (what do we think? Everclear?) until we can get rid of the barnacle on the ass of this show.

Anonymous said: Do you want eda to end up with the flower ring or do you think she should get a new one? I’ve been thinking about this ever since the last engagement and now that she’s taken it off again, I’m like hmm, should they just start anew? I would of course want her engagement ring to have meaning but I wonder if they might be able to come up with something else.

We are on the EXACT same wavelength. Simpatico, my friend. I thought the same thing when Eda asked him to marry her. Like.... hmmm... maybe this ring has the wrong kind of history to start your life together with? And look CURSED!

So now I really think it might be best to go with a new one. Surely they can come up with something that has meaning and is not just some giant solitaire diamond, but also symbolizes a new and fresh start. Maybe that’s what the necklace is about, retiring that ring, but still keeping it as a keepsake of how they met and fell in love?

Anonymous said: Having Serkan turn Eda’s engagement ring into a necklace that he gives her on the yacht is an interesting way for the show to go. On the one hand it means he is thinking about her and feels bad/starting to fall for her but on the other hand kind of rude too. I do not see her accepting it to be honest. She gave it back because he got engaged to Selin and they are still engaged. Seems like this next episode will be full of interesting surprises like that.

Yeah, I’m not sure what she will do. I could see it going either way to be honest. Either she wants to hold onto it because of all it’s meant to them, or she tells him she doesn’t want that reminder of him.

I do hope you’re right that the episode will have some more surprises... let me amend that... I hope you’re right and the episode will have some more GOOD surprises. I need Serkan to realize that the pull he feels towards Eda, regardless if he’s still hella confused and isn’t ready for anything, is reason enough to rethink his engagement to Selin. Or hell I’ll even take Serkan starting to be suspicious, or starting to see through her act. Throw us a bone, show! This 1 step forward, 2 steps back thing they’ve started is not a recipe for success.

Anonymous said: Am I the only one hoping that Eda says no thanks to that necklace from Serkan? I guess we are supposed to think it is sweet but it came off more like “yeah I am not giving it back to you as an engagement ring but don’t want you to lose the memories.” I need her saying “that ring meant a lot to me because the man I loved gave it to me but you are marrying someone else/do not remember me and that ring means nothing now”. Not here for the show having Eda getting excited over the scraps given to her while Serkan continues with his engagement.

If they actually had her say those words to him I would cheer. If Eda can step around her pride and be that nakedly honest with him, it would be a very good thing indeed.

Switching gears to last episode:

Anonymous said: i totally agree with your thoughts on ceren and eda.. like i hope they don't ruin their friendship (and i dont think they will, i think this will just be a tough period in their friendship) but at the same time, i don't really care either??? ceren and eda have butted heads before over her and ferit's relationship and honestly while her friends are great support for her, they are allowed to show conflict there as well without everyone yelling about "ruining the character"

Yes, this. It’s okay for friends to have conflicts. It also doesn’t mean all “girl power” is gone if they do have conflicts. I’m just sad that it’s happening at a time when Eda needs friends and Fifi already left.

And like you say, I don’t care that much. I’m here for Eda and Serkan... oh and Serkan and Eda, and that’s it (oh and Sirius, he can stay). So I’m not really invested in any other relationship, friendships or dynamics.

Anonymous said: I laughed at how they actually had Selin put the ring on her own finger. and I don’t think it even crossed her mind that he should’ve done it, she was too desperate to get it on! As much as I hated this “engagement”, the writers are clearly showing that he’s not very interested so I’m fine with it 😂 I was also waiting to see if they were going to spend the night together in the cabin, but then Selin came in with her suitcase and they left early? Lol

BWAH, I loved that they left early! Writers have gone out of their way to show us they don’t spend the night together. THANK YOU SHOW. One small thing they’ve done right. And to your point they’ve also gone out of their way to show how uninterested Serkan is in all of it. Unlike Selin, we’ve all seen how Serkan Bolat behaves when he’s in love and getting engaged and getting ready to be married. The difference could not be more stark. Too bad that the only two characters who don’t know how he behaves when he’s in love are Serkan and the ass barnacle.

Anonymous said: Ngl I want gag a little with Serkan giving Selin more breadcrumbs (key word lol) than before. But 1 of many things I enjoy is that Serkan has yet to try to buy Eda's shares. He expressed interest in doing so when Selin then Efe had those shares. He did suggest her moving into her grandma's old office but gave up quickly. So Serkan's cool with a stranger, who's possibly inexperienced and supposedly manipulative, being a partner in his company and taking up residence in his office? Hmmm

I loved that we got such a quick change from Robot Bolat’s you-won’t-own-these-shares-for-long attitude to you-can’t-go-on-vacation-you’re-needed-here attitude! One of the best subtle moments from the last episode. I want more of them interacting professionally and him seeing her in action. I also want her to tell him how much she learned from him. I think that might be something he’d be interested to know.

Speaking of, you know what I want? With his hand tremor, I hope we get a scene where he’s trying to draw something and it’s not coming out like he wants and he’s getting frustrated and she goes over there and puts her hand over his (like he’s done for her so many times) and helps him get the drawing done.

Anonymous said: Eda was really ready to move on and forget serkan just in 2 days? He came back and lost his memory it wasn't his fault anyway but I understand that the situation with selin must be difficult for her. I just want Eda to keep fighting for him despite what he may say or do (his decisions and actions are influenced by selin so...) I don't want her to lose hope just when he is just starting to open up to her. In my opinion eda should give serkan some time.

Well... I think putting on that frilly yellow dress and forcing him into a corner with her “engagement” has nothing to do with moving on or forgetting him. That was all for him. That’s her way of fighting for him. She knows what it takes to get him to act. He needs to be in a corner and about to lose her. .

But also I take your point. I hope that Eda’s natural pride and very understandable hurt doesn’t get in the way as Serkan starts to open up to her and gravitate to her and make moves in her direction.

As for her talk of moving on last episode, it was premature, but Eda has said similar things many times before, her pride talking, but she never means it. She always fights for him.

Anonymous said: There's a moment in the episode Serkan tells Engin that he love seline and that really pissed me off, because we've never heard Serkan say that before. He only lost one year of his memory and we already knew that he never loved selin so I wonder why he would say that now?

I’ve actually already answer an ask about this, but since then, I saw on twitter that some Turkish speakers confirmed that Serkan used the past tense. “I remember the woman I used to love, and that woman is Selin.”

But also, what I said right after the episode still holds. Serkan Bolat didn’t even know what love was until he met Eda Yildiz. He didn’t really believe in it, no matter what justifications he’s using now. When Serkan and Selin were together, Serkan probably though that boring milquetoast arrangement was what people meant when they talked about love. It wasn’t until he met Eda that he realized he’d never been in love.

I predict he’s going to have the same realization one more time in the not so distant future.

Anonymous said: I am so glad you aren’t liking Deniz either! I thought I was the only one. I can’t really pin point what it is about him but there is something off. He is definitely an opportunist and is pushing Eda too hard to forget Serkan. Which totally pisses me off. Move over dude, Serkan is and always will be the love of her life. Their friends truly suck. Melo is the only smart one and good friend who is telling Eda to fight for their love. I’ll give Ferit some credit too as he is throwing some digs in at Selin as well. Everyone else is cancelled in my eyes. Do you think that maybe Selin knows Deniz and could be working with him against Serkan? I am not entirely sure but I feel like there is something more there based on the looks they shared when they met as if they knew each other before.

Oh interesting! I don’t know how that could have been arranged from the start, so I don’t think they know each other from before, but at this point I’m not putting anything past either to start working together to keep Edser apart.

And yes, Melo is really the only non-Edser character I don’t want to slap upside the head. Ferit is better that most, but could still try harder. Oh Seyfi. He hasn’t given me reason to want to slap him upside the head either.

As for Deniz, I’m already done with him.

Anonymous said: Near the beginning of the series, I do remember seeing some people shipping Ferit and Melo when she started working for Selin. 😂They haven't really interacted much since but I'm also down

Let’s do this thing. What is their ship name? Felo? Merit? Cuties?

#sen çal kapımı #Sen Cal Kapimi #edser #sckask #sck episode discussion #sck spoilers #sck 1x30 #sck 1x31 #asklizac #anonymous

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overheardatthecontinental · 4 years

Text

Kinktober Day 19: Vampire

If Helen was being truthful, which she often tried to be, her new neighbor was… odd.

For starters, she had never seen him move in. One night, she went to bed and she swore the house was empty but when she woke up and opened her curtains, she could see furniture inside.

He was a night owl in the truest sense of the word. She couldn't remember ever seeing him before the moon rose but he was nowhere to be seen in the morning before work. Even on the weekends, there was no evidence that anyone was in the house save his parked car in the driveway.

After two days, the house was under construction. Every single window was replaced with tinted windows and soon she cannot see into his house. Not that she was spying. Not at all. She was just curious.

Another thing was that damn car. She looked it up and it cost as much as her little house.

That, factored in with the cost of installing tinted windows, he had to have money. Plenty of it. So why was he living in a small cottage in the suburbs?

It takes a week before she actually catches sight of him.

He is tall and dark and handsome and familiar. She knows him, vaguely.

Often, she sees him at the bar she tends in the evening. He’s a bourbon drinker and a fantastic tipper. Quiet though. Most people who drink at the bar come to have someone to talk to. They crave the ear of anyone who will listen, otherwise they’d drink at home.

Not John, though.

He didn’t even talk to order his drink anymore. She’d see him and pour him the bourbon and he’d murmur a quiet thanks. Often, she didn’t even see him leave. He stayed till just before closing and then he’d disappear into the night.

A few times, she’s seen him standing out near the alley. Always alone.

She waves from her porch and John walks over.

"Helen." He greets, "how are you?"

"Im well, John. I guess we’re neighbors now."

He lips quirked up in a smile, "Couldn't stand living in the city any longer.”

But knowing who her neighbor was did not make him any less strange.

Yes, John was always polite but it didn’t take away from the strange feeling she always got when she was near. Even at the bar, she got the feeling that she should be wary around the handsome man. The hairs on her neck would stand on end almost in warning.

But it seemed so silly to be nervous.

She blamed it on the attraction.

John was a gorgeous guy and she couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt another’s lips on hers, let alone anywhere else.

Soon, she started seeing him out and around in the neighborhood. It wasn’t all that strange. Of course he would habit the same grocery stores and pharmacies that she did. But she noticed that the grocery cart was nearly always empty. He’d buy a pack of beer or paper plates and the like, but never once did she see him buying food.

He had to eat, she told herself. No man with a physique like that got away without eating.

She saw him at the park, as she walked home from the subway. Again, standing by a tree, not doing anything. He didn’t even have his phone out. He would just stand there, staring into the darkness.

Weird, but not wrong. Certainly not illegal.

He offered her a ride home, one night when it was raining. The subway wasn’t terribly far but the walk from the station to her house was long enough to get her soaked. She accepted, ignoring the hair on her neck and the feeling in her stomach and every other warning her body gave her.

"How long have you worked here?" John asks as they climb into the car.

"Eight years or so? I teach second grade during the day but teaching pays shit and I needed extra money to pay for supplies for my class. And I found I enjoyed tending bar." She buckles and looks over at him, "it's a bit of a hole in the wall. How did you find it?"

His lips twitch, "I used to spend some time there back in the day."

It's Helen's turn to smirk, "you make it sound like you're so old."

"I'm older than I look."

She looks him over, not that she hasn't a hundred times before, whenever he is looking away. He's fucking gorgeous. If she had to guess, she'd place him in his late thirties. Maybe early forties, but only because he had the look in his eyes of someone who had been through a lot.

In truth, she knows nothing about him but his address and his favored drink.

“You know,” she says as they pull out of the parking lot, “I don't think I have ever asked, what do you do for a living?”

“Not sure I'd call it a living.” John says and that smirk just grows, “I’m a bit… nomadic. I tend not to stay in one place for too long so I do a lot of independent contracting. A lot of investing.”

It doesn’t feel like a real answer, Helen notes. He’s said a bit but he hasn’t really told her anything and that throws her for a loop. What is he hiding?

But that isn’t the right question to ask aloud so she settles on, “Where else have you lived?”

“I was born in Belarus.”

And again, she is thrown.

He has no distinguishing accent. Nothing that indicates he is from anywhere but the United States. It’s not that uncommon in New York to find people from all over but still…

“I’ve lived in Italy. Mexico. China. Spain. Russia. Canada. France. Most recently, I was in Reykjavik but I always end up coming back to New York.”

Again, her mind is blown. Utterly and completely. And he’s tossing out this information like it’s nothing and it’s completely overwhelming.

She glances out her window, watching the streets go by. She watches a raindrop race down the window as she tries to process all that. She sees herself in the reflection and is utterly underwhelmed.

She’s boring. A school teacher by day, a bartender by night.

She isn’t unattractive but she’s a dime a dozen.

She’s never left the country, not even to go up to Canada.

And she’s sitting next to this quiet man who has seen the fucking world.

She looks past herself in the reflection and her heart skips a beat. She looks for John but cannot see him. She can see herself. In the back, she can see the reflection of the steering wheel, seemingly turning of its own accord. She can see the street behind them but she cannot see John.

She looks over, sharply, and sure enough, he is there. Driving.

Helen settles back into her seat, wondering anew if he can hear her heart racing.

Or if she’s being crazy.

Because she can see the other window. She can see the reflection of herself and of the lights passing by but she sees herself almost as if John isn’t there.

She looks at him and he glances over, almost to unassuming.

Helen swallows and sits back in her seat. “It must be hard.” She says, “Moving to countries where you don’t speak the language.”

“I speak them,” John says.

“Which?”

“All of them. I make it a point to learn the language of everywhere I’ve ever lived.”

“So you speak Russian and Chinese and French and Spanish?”

“Among others.” His words sound like a taunt. They feel like a taunt, although they’re not belittling. Like he’s challenging her.

Helen can barely breathe.

No.

She was being crazy. She’d had far too little sleep.

John had a reflection, she just couldn’t see it because she was exhausted.

And there was a perfectly reasonable explanation as to why his house and car had tinted windows and why she had never once seen him during the day.

She had to be exhausted to even be considering…

They pull into John’s driveway and Helen quickly thanks him for the ride before she rushes, nearly running, to her house. She closes the door behind her. And locks it. And the windows. Even the ones she normally leaves open on the second floor, she locks.

And maybe she’s being paranoid but she can’t help it when she sits at her computer and types “vampire” into Google.

She’s being paranoid.

At least, that’s what she keeps telling herself.

She stays up half the night researching a mythological creature.

And when she passes out at her computer, she dreams of John in old-fashioned garb. In old cities with cobblestones lining each street.

She dreams of John kissing her, intimately, in an empty hall. His head is buried under layers of fabric, between her thighs driving her utterly wild before she quakes around him. Only then does he move, and only inches, to where his teeth sink into her thigh.

She wakes up in her bed, alone, and gasping for air.

It felt so real, she checks her thigh for marks and finds none.

In the fresh light of day, she shakes it off. She acknowledges that she was being ridiculous to even consider the possibility that John was a vampire.

Its utterly ridiculous.

But he's not coming out of his house.

She tells herself she's making the cookies as a thank you and not to try to get John out of his house during the daylight. In reality, its both.

They're chocolate chip, because who doesn't like chocolate chip?

She waits for them to cool before stacking them neatly on a plate and covering it with wrap.

He’s home. His car is in the driveway. It’s parked where he let her out last night so she’s fairly certain he hasn’t left since they arrived.

This is ridiculous she thinks again. She’s analyzing his every fucking move and John, for all his weirdness, has never been anything but kind to her. And here she is, acting like he has something to hide just because he’s eccentric.

Another part of her argues that this is just a thank you for said kindness. For saving her getting soaked on her commute. For that unending kindness.

She knocks on the door and waits.

Nothing.

She knocks again and listens intently. It doesn’t sound like anyone is coming.

Because the sun is out.

Or because he’s sleeping.

She tries one last time before she gives up and leaves the cookies on the porch, walking away feeling a bit defeated.

If he had come to the door, she could have assured herself she was being crazy.

But he hadn’t, so now she was feeling paranoid.

She took out a legal pad in her kitchen and sat down.

Side by side she wrote the most ridiculous list she’s ever even considered in her life.

Proof John’s a Vampire:

He’s from fucking Belarus

He spoke way too many languages for any person who lived a human lifespan to pick up. (Or he’s just wicked smart… Or lying?)

Hot as fuck

He doesn’t live in one place for too long (cuz people will notice he doesn’t age!!!!)

He says he’s older than he looks

Says he used to hang out at the bar but I’ve never seen the owner or any of the other bartenders talk to him

I’ve never seen him during the day

TINTED FUCKING WINDOWS. No normal person needs fucking tinted windows

Wealthy but won’t say what he does for a job?

Never seen him eat

Helen banged her head into the table.

Fucking ridiculous.

She was definitely losing her mind. And figuring out whether or not her neighbor was a vampire was not how she wanted to spend her day off, so she left the pad in the kitchen and went to read on the couch.

Helen relaxed, reveling in the freedom of actually having a day to herself. She did her best to enjoy the time and not think about her attractive, weirdo neighbor.

She made dinner for herself and ate watching the news. When she was finished, she poured a glass of wine and relaxed back to some rerun of a cooking show she hadn’t seen before.

And then there was a knock on the door.

She checks her watch. It’s nearly eight and she certainly doesn’t have friends who would come over this late without sending a text.

Helen climbs to her feet, heart already racing because, of course, it’s after sunset.

Maybe he’s just doing this to fuck with her.

Maybe he’s just been lying and teasing and trying to get into her head like some sort of psycho. That had to be more realistic than the truth, she thinks as she goes over to the door.

She peers out of the look-see and sure enough, John is on her porch.

Does he just wake up and throw on a three-piece? She wonders, opening the door. Granted, he’s technically missing his suit jacket but who wears a dress shirt and a suit vest on a Sunday night?

“John.”

“I wanted to say thank you for the cookies.”

“You’re very welcome. I hope you enjoyed them.”

The corner of his mouth twists, “Absolutely delicious.” John pauses, “May I come in?”

She feels her eyes widen and hopes that he doesn’t notice but he just fucking asked permission to come inside? That was a thing, right? That vampires need permission to enter houses?

He blinks innocently but it doesn’t feel at all innocent.

“Is everything alright?” John asks, “You look a little… flushed.”

She’s being ridiculous.

Helen shakes her head because John is not a vampire but she might be losing her mind. Maybe she needs to check herself in somewhere... “Of course. Come in.”

John steps through the door and the paranoid part of her wonders if she’s just made a terrible mistake.

John looks around and Helen wonders how she never realized how big John is. He’s tall and, without the jacket, she can see proof muscles on his arms that she had never noticed before.

“You have a lovely home.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. I truly appreciate the cookies and you thinking of me. You’re very kind.”

“No, thank you. I’ve made that walk in the rain before and it sucks.”

“I was happy to do it. In fact, I’m at the bar most nights. I’m more than happy to stay and give you a ride home on a regular basis.”

“I couldn’t impose.” And you kind of scare the hell out of me, “Can I offer you a drink? I have water, juice, and wine?”

“Wine, if you don’t mind. And it’s no imposition. Like I said, I’m there anyway. And we are neighbors, after all.”

Helen offers a small smile as she turns towards the kitchen.

His words seem nearly laced with honey and it both excites her and kind of disturbs her.

Everything about John, vampire aside, screams dangerous.

And she’s invited him into her home and he’s almost a bit too kind. She doesn’t know what to do with that and it feels like her brain is fighting itself about John.

The logical part of her is telling her to calm the fuck down because John has been nothing but kind. The paranoid part of her is screaming VAMPIRE VAMPIRE VAMPIRE. The primal part of her seems torn between telling her to run as far and as fast as she can because John is dangerous and tearing that stupid suit off of him and jumping him then and there.

Instead, she manages to ask, “What kind of wine do you like?”

“I prefer red.” And it’s such a simple statement but his words tumble out like a taunt that just sets her on edge even more.

Helen goes to the cabinet and pulls down a glass of wine, hands shaking ever so slightly.

She has an open bottle of pinot noir in the fridge and she pours the wine as carefully as she can. It sloshes a bit over the edge and she wipes it with a dishtowel, feeling her cheeks burn even more at the small spillage.

She turns to hand John the glass and nearly drops it at the full-on smirk that graces his stupidly attractive face. She left out the list and John is reading it.

“Hot as fuck, huh?”

And it seems impossible, but her face feels worse than when she has a fever. She’s certain she must be red all over and she has absolutely nothing to stay to it because what can she say?

I know it’s ridiculous but I thought you were a vampire?

John steps closer, leaving the legal pad behind and he takes the glass from her hand and sets it on the counter behind her. With his other hand, he reaches for her chin and tilts her head up just a bit, forcing her to look into his eyes.

He whispers, “You really are fucking clever.”

Her eyes widen at the implication because no. No. She was definitely wrong and John was definitely messing with her but he smiles. He really smiles, not just a smirk. He bares his teeth and Helen swallows at the sight of long incisors.

Fuck.

“You should have trusted your instincts.”

He steps closer and Helen, as a result, steps back and finds herself completely enclosed. She is pressed against the counter, completely enclosed in one of his arms while the other trails down her neck.

She can’t run. She sure as hell doesn’t stand a chance if she tries to fight him.

“Are you going to kill me?”

John tilts her head upward, “And why,” He bends his own head down, brushing his lips against hers but not kissing her, “would I even think to destroy such a jewel?”

His arm around her tightens and she is hoisted off the ground and into the air. Instinctively, she throws her arms around her neck to keep balanced and John smirks at her, almost victoriously.

Before she can say anything, he is moving impossibly fast. She closes her eyes at the rush of dizziness that fills her at the speed and opens them only as she feels herself falling. Her back hits the bed and she bounces, sucking in a gasp as she does.

And John is on top of her before she can even acknowledge what is happening, the quick turn in events that had her from scared to terrified to, fuck, John is sucking on her neck and she is horny.

A vampire is sucking on her neck.

She hears a wanton moan and, Christ, that must have come from her.

She presses her thighs together as an ache spreads down her body, warming her tummy and sending the blood rushing south.

John’s hands tear the fabric of her cotton shirt into pieces as he rips it clean of her body before doing the same to her bra. She doesn’t even complain as John lowers his head and sucks a nipple into his mouth. He rolls it with his tongue and teases it with his teeth. The fang toys with it, dragging down her breast and the sharpness makes her whine with a sick mix of pain and pleasure.

And then it sinks into one of her veins and his teasing is suddenly a thing of the past as he sucks and swallows around her tender flesh.

Her hand jumps to his hair and Helen realizes, idly, that she’s encouraging this. Forcing his face against her, not letting him move even as her head feels dizzy.

A large hand slides down her body and into her sunday sweatpants. A finger swipes up her slit, teasing her clit and checking her arousal.

John releases her and quickly slides down her body, ripping her sweats and underwear off with the same vigor that he had done to her shirt. She’s certain they’re destroyed but she doesn’t give a flying fuck.

Not when John is plunging two fingers inside her and curling them just right so that she thrashes and writhes on the bed. John holds down her leg with his spare hand and continues his minstruations as he sinks his teeth into her thigh.

Helen shrieks, but not with pain, as John sucks on her thigh while his fingers dance inside of her. Helen isn’t sure which is more pleasurable, his mouth at her thigh or his fingers inside of her but she knows she has never felt like this. Lightheaded and pleasured and desperate and needy all at once.

He sucks and swallows while his thumb rubs at her clit and Helen wonders if she’s actually crying because there are tears spilling down her cheeks at the wanton desperation of it all.

Nothing has ever felt so good. So raw.

He could drain her of all her blood right now and she would probably say thank you so long as he didn’t stop toying with her clit or moving his fingers around inside her. She could definitely die like this and be happy.

All of the sudden, he pushes up slightly off her thigh. Just as quickly, he descends upon her other, sinking his teeth into the femoral artery. John sucks at her flesh and Helen feels her head spinning all the more.

Why does dizzy feel so good?

His thumb speeds up along her clit and his fingers roll against the spot inside her that makes her mind melt like cotton candy. Helen comes, crying out in surprise at how quickly John had been able to completely undo her.

She feels him swallowing against her thigh as she writhes beneath him.

He’s brought her pleasure to new heights and he hasn’t even begun undressing.

Helen reaches down and grabs his hair, tugging up.

It’s laughable, really, her attempt at strength in the midst of an orgasm but John acquiesces and releases her thigh from his mouth. Blood dribbles down his chin and she has the sick urge to lick it.

John climbs back up her body. He unfastens his belt, his pants as quickly as he can before pulling himself out.

Helen finds herself licking her lips at the sight of him but it’s quickly taken from her vision as John lays down on top of her body, angling the head of his cock towards her core. With a single roll of hips, he impales her onto his length and Helen finds herself arching her back, keening at the contact.

John bends his head down to her neck and she feels his tongue tease her pulse point before she feels the quick sharp of fangs digging into her throat.

His hips move against her, driving him in and out of her slick heat while he frantically swallows against her neck again and again.

She sees stars and she still isn’t certain what it’s from.

She’s lightheaded and it shows when she tries to lift her leg to wrap around John and she finds she can’t lift it. It barely registers, however, because his hand is between them again. He keeps thrusting, keeps sucking, but now his fingers are teasing and rubbing her clit and a scream escapes her. He feels so fucking good, everywhere, and his expert fingers are bringing her back to that height of pleasure.

John drives into her as deep as he can and Helen, again, feels herself falling further and further, through the stars and into the dark.

She can’t open her eyes but she really can’t bring herself to care.

She can still feel John, pistoning in and out of her and a small rip that sounds like something tearing open. Her head is tilted up and something forces her mouth open and places something against it.

“Good girl,” she can idly hear John whisper to her, “Swallow it down.”

And as he says it, she feels something pouring into her mouth. Salty and rich and warm. It fills her mouth and again, John urges her to swallow.

She does and she hears John’s quiet praises. “Good girl. Keep going. You’re going to be mine forever.”

Helen feels consciousness slip away.

And everything is black.

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